No one was surprised a bit by any of it. No one.

Not by the United States Department of Justice on Wednesday indicting 14 officials associated with FIFA, soccer’s corrupt-to-the-core governing body. Not by the already six guilty pleas and the mountain of evidence they’ll almost assuredly provide.

Not by Swiss authorities raiding a FIFA meeting at a swanky hotel in Zurich (where else would FIFA hold a meeting?), hauling guys right out of their rooms.

[FC Yahoo: Will FIFA corruption probe bring any change to Sepp Blatter's reign?]

Not by the opening of two criminal investigations into the awarding of the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, to Russia and Qatar respectively, which literally everyone knows was the work of bribes and favored government contracts.

(Proof? Who the hell would put the World Cup in Qatar in the middle of the summer without being bribed? Note: It’s since been moved to winter, screwing up all sorts of things.)

[FC Yahoo: Sepp Blatter responds to FIFA corruption probe in written statement]

Nope, none of it was a surprise because this is FIFA … home of a thrilling, once-every-four-year global soccer tournament, a sweet video game and a thousand con men.

View photos FIFA president Sepp Blatter (AP) More

If anything was a surprise, it’s that more weren’t put in cuffs, most notably FIFA president Sepp Blatter, who merely oversees this international criminal organization, but like some kind of central casting Hollywood villain always manages to escape direct involvement as he shrugs his shoulders and expresses shock before washing his troubles away via champagne flute.

It wasn’t even a shock that FIFA was sticking to its arrogance and self-professed purity.

“In this case FIFA is the damaged party,” a FIFA spokesman said, in an earnest tone, going with a line of disgust that dozens of its own long-standing, high-ranking officials let this wonderful organization down. “This leads to the fact there were no searches in the offices in FIFA."

Well, there’s always next time … we can hope.

[ThePostGame: U.S. women's star Alex Morgan: Blatter didn't know who I was]

It’s worth noting that FIFA is adamant it will not move the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, not to a place such as the United States or England or Germany, which could easily host them on the fly.

They aren’t moving them, of course, because if you double-cross Vladimir Putin or the Qatari rulers, then the real dirt might spill and ole Sepp might be next.

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Look, it’s a good day to celebrate the arrests, even if it feels like throwing sand back into the ocean to stem a high tide.

FIFA is actually far more than the World Cup. It has a way of commanding power (or a cut of the revenue) over everything, from international friendlies, to youth leagues, to developmental programs in Third World countries. A corrupt FIFA corrupts the entire sport.

That said, the world is corrupt and FIFA represents the world.

In the United States, active media and partisan organizations like to make every single politician out to be a criminal. This is not without precedent, of course, but still, the truth is when it comes to bribes and kickbacks in sports we are rank amateurs.

There’s a reason the U.S. can no longer come close to winning the bidding process to host either an Olympics or the World Cup. We’re like a small, private D-III in Maine trying to wade into an SEC five-star recruiting battle, armed with a brochure pointing out our fine campus foliage and excellent academic opportunities.

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