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Megan Wants a Millionaire

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As it is now, every girl on My Antonio gets a covered dinner plate, and you get to stay on the show if there are flowers inside yours. It's either insane, or maybe he's testing them to see if they're stupid enough to eat flowers. All I'm saying is that if I was a teenage girl trying to date the guy my mom watched onMelrose Place, maybe a card with some money in it would be a more appropriate gift.Megan is another girl from Rock of Love who got her own show, only on this one, wealthy douchebags battle for the opportunity to buy her. Try to imagine how bad a millionaire has to be with women that he has to go on TV and humiliate himself for the CHANCE at paying for sex with a six. That's how awkward these guys are around girls. They couldn't get laid if their wangs cured yeast infections. I've seen Christopher Walken play games of Russian Roulette that were less nerve-wracking than watching these creepy assholes talk to a girl. And once again, while you wouldn't hide her from your friends, Megan isn't exactly disarming. There's no reason to be so nervous unless they're all Poison memorabilia collectors desperate to add Bret Michaels's herpes to their collections.There's only one way to end this show--line all the contestants up, give them a cigarette, and invoice each of their families for the cost of a .30-30 cartridge. Bidding on a white girl isn't a TV show concept--that's a situation that Mad Max would come across just to remind him how fucked up the post-apocalypse is. One contestant built his fortune stripping; another wasn't even rich--he was just trying to buy Megan with the money he'll probably have when his dumb, stupid grandpa finally dies. This entire show is so amoral that it had to be pulled off the airafter one of the contestants murdered and dismembered a woman who later had to be identified by her breast implants. And what's crazier than that is that given a choice, he wouldn't even be the first one you execute. Megan Wants a Millionaire is a Greatest Hits of man's inhumanity to man. They probably burned down an Indian reservation to build the set, and during a few scenes you can see the altar of panda bones where Megan has congress with the Beast. I just hope the millionaire that won her knows that her resale value is worse than a Dodge Durango. And that sex with her is like fighting a bag full of poisonous snakes. Seriously, of all the women in the world, why buy the one that lights on fire when medicine touches her skin?