“So, it’s seven,” begins the awestruck Carol Yung, appearing at a hastily called press meeting outside of the building that houses Odyssey, Harvard’s 14,000-core supercomputer. “The last digit of pi is seven.”

Yesterday morning, on a break from mining Dogecoin for the Intel Xeon-based supercomputer, sporting over 10TB of RAM and a cool and secluded enough housing room for Darren Brady and Susie Barrenston to finally get away from her roommate and just fuck already, student researchers have definitively found the last digit of pi—and they have Corsair to thank.

“Brandon here was just saying that things were looking a little bleak in there, with all of the processors just sitting on racks with no lights or anything, so we just started plugging fans into Molex connectors, and the thing really just started plugging away,” Yung goes on to explain. From the door behind her, a blinding, neon-blue light is pulsing. “When we started switching out the normal SSDs for ones that had lights on them, we knew we were on to something—we were closer to discovering the last digit of pi than anyone has ever been.”

Finding the last digit of pi isn’t quite as simple as just calculating pi and scrolling right on your calculator—in fact, it had previously been calculated to its two-quadrillionth digit. This is done through a system called pi slicing, which consists of taking the single-digit pi calculation and “parallelizing” it, breaking it into separate pieces. Anyway, Jesus Christ, let’s move on.

“That’s when we called in our friends from Corsair,” Carol says, nodding her head towards Corsair CEO Andy Paul, who shares the same exhausted and awestruck expression as Yung.

“It came across my desk that this was happening, and I just remember thinking, finally. I called our friends at Coolermaster, and we showed up with enough RGB to cause a blackout in Cambridge.”

Paul goes on to describe the installation of a Corsair K70 RGB MK.2 keyboard into the last available USB slot on the Odyssey supercomputer. After confirming that every RGB component was attached to the same overloaded iCue RGB system, he “hit enter and just let that motherfucker go,” resulting in the supercomputer quickly informing the unlikely team of students, researchers, and executives the holy grail of numbers—seven.

“Anyway,” finishes Yung, “realistically this doesn’t tell us pretty much anything about pi, and now it’s too bright in there to find the off switch.”