AN increasing number of office workers who eat their sandwiches in the park are not returning to work or society.

As the sunshine continues, hundreds of al fresco lunch-breakers are deciding to go feral and live in a hedge rather than return to the misery of office-based toil.

Former inland revenue worker Emma Bradford said: “I had just finished my Thai chicken wrap when my colleague said grimly, ‘it’s time’.

“But rather than trudging back to the cubicle and putting on my headset, I listened to my heart. I could hear nature calling me, or at least the small public field with a basketball hoop that passes for nature in a city.

“I told them I wasn’t going back, and they could have my desk trinkets and the sachets of low-calorie chocolate drink in my top drawer.”

Tom Logan, who did marketing bullshit, added: “I sleep in the park’s sandpit. It’s itchy but I am free, I talk to the squirrels and the magpies, I eat leaves and drink rain water.

“There are others here like me, including a former temp worker everybody thought was in the stationary cupboard.”