This Croatian painting was sent to me by an alert reader. I know what you're thinking: "Jeez, man, can't you start one post without that sentence?" But I promise, this time it actually fits with the rest of the article.

Here's the caption on the painting. Nothing big.



I mean, the name is kinda funny. 'Van Dyck." I could have a lot of fun if a player had that name.

Here's the painting, though.



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

That painting is in someone's attic right now, and its ERA just keeps getting lower and lower. Also, Tim Lincecum is undead, possibly a vampire, and at least 350 years old. You should be really nice to him. You should also lock all of your windows at night, just in case.

We already know that Tim Lincecum already looks like everyone in the world, but this is ridiculous. We have questions. We have so many questions.