Posted by Grandson under Humor

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Subject: The IRS and Grandpa

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the

IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa

showed up with his attorney.



The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant

lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by

saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS

finds that believable.’



I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says

Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’



The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go

ahead.’



Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that

I can bite my own eye.’



The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a

bet.’



Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The

auditor’s jaw drops.



Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand

dollars that I can bite my other eye.’



Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he

takes the bet.



Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.



The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost

three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He

starts to get nervous.



‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks

‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand

on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on

the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in

between.’



The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks

carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could

possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.



Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but

although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream

reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much

urinates all over the auditor’s desk.



The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just

turned a major loss into a huge win.



But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in

his hands.



‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.



‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning,

when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he

bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in

here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy

about it!’





Don’t Mess with Old People!!

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