Hi! I’d like to get the word out since I’ve seen lots of wrong assumptions circulating about this.



Fictophilia is a romantic and/or sexual orientation which covers exclusive attraction to fictional characters in animation and movies (no, not the actors).

It’s not a fetish, disorder, or solely a type of attraction, but an orientation one is born with, just as valid as any other*. It has nothing to do with lusting after those characters sexually as a fan.

*There are people who are attracted to other people and fictional characters in that way. In that case, their orientation is whatever they identify with.



I’d like to help you understand who we are and what we’re not by responding to the most common statements aimed at us. This has gotten pretty long so I put all the answers under a cut.

It’s not real! / You’re kidding, right?

No, it’s very much real. We feel genuine romantic and/or sexual attraction of the same sort that alloromantics/allosexuals experience towards people.

How can you tell if you’ve never been in love with a real person?

We can compare our romantic feelings to others’ and reach a conclusion that way. Furthermore, once you fall really hard for someone, you just know, right?

But they’re not real! How is that possible?



Oh, are they not? I’m so sorry, I totally didn’t re– yes, we know they don’t exist, you don’t have to pretend showing concern for our mental health. They have a personality. Many of them have a voice. Isn’t that enough for falling in love?

If not, you can also say you can’t have a crush on someone you’ve never interacted with. It’s essentially like being in love with a celebrity (although we don’t get why loving a celebrity is far more accepted since all the circumstances are the same, except that those characters don’t exist.)

You’re saying that because no one likes you!

It’s actually the opposite. If someone falls in love with us, we’ll have to reject them because we lack attraction.

You’ve just never been in a real relationship!

This may be true for some of us, but not for all. (Those who haven’t been are better off than the others, trust me.)

However, we don’t contend that we’re fictophiliac for that reason.

We simply lack attraction to other people, so we have no reason to get into a physically intimate relationship in the first place. Just like everyone else with a non-heteronormative orientation, we don’t have any obligation to try all kinds of different things before we can be sure who we are. You’re in no place to decide that. I’m 24 years old, I’ve been in love with the same character for 8 years, I’ve never loved a real person in the same way, but I’ve been in a physically intimate relationship I regret.

You’re exaggerating! / You’ve watched too many cartoons! / You’re taking fiction too seriously!

I suggest you take a look at your own fandoms and all the bashing within before saying that we’re the ones taking fiction too seriously.

You’re delusional.



Guess what, we still reconize the characters as fictional and know that we can never be with them unless we establish something for ourselves. Once that happens, it can be seen as a long-distance relationship. Where’s the problem? That we don’t get a response from their side?

That may be an issue that causes complications for us but it doesn’t make our emotions for them less real. And, surprise, it is entirely up to us how we deal with that. It’s not a problem you have to deal with. On the contrary, we’re not out there to hurt anyone - we’re literally just daydreaming like everyone else in love.

You’re those obsessed people who spend their days holed up in a room full of merchandise and claim to be married to fictional characters.



Again, no. That isn’t us. Many of us are capable of a healthy social life. Some may choose to get married to a character “officially”, but I am personally grossed out by that concept.

I’d never file for a marriage certificate because I’m not forcing anything on the character I love, I’m not disrespecting them, I’m respecting my own feelings, and I’m not into doing something so simple that everyone could do without a connection to them.

As a child, I created OCs to ship with the canon characters I had a crush on, but I never did so openly - only to cheer myself up because I knew from the beginning that it wouldn’t be taken seriously.

Most of us don’t claim the characters to ourselves. If so, chances are that the person is either very young or doesn’t really love them. If someone starts a fight, that’s a problem with the person, not the community.

Here, it’s important to stress the difference to fankids who keep shouting “THEY’RE MINE ALONE!!” (Guys, that’s embarrassing. No wonder no one believes us.)

Some of us forge a connection through dreams or on the spiritual plane in order to cope, but we still have ties to reality - remember that we’re constantly confronted with society’s standards wherever we go, from elementary school days on.

Even if we do collect tons of merchandise, that means we’re supporting the sales of something you enjoy, too.

Also, no real fictophiliac would present themselves in media like the otakus you see on TV. We have self-respect.

As a side note, anyone who uses the terms waifu or husbando to refer to characters unironically is most likely not fictophiliac. Being thrown into the same category as those is offensive to us with actual non-fanbased feelings for those characters. We don’t lust after them like overzealous fans, and it hurts being compared to them.

You can‘t compare yourselves to the LGBT community!



True. We don’t face any of the oppression the LGBT+ community does.

Let’s focus on a different aspect that matters: the self-discovery process in our minds which is similar to anyone else’s with a non-heteronormative orientation. We grow up in society and learn that we’re only supposed to love other people. We’re told our identity is childish and just a phase. In fifth grade, I was certain I’d soon grow out of this and fall in love. When I noticed I didn’t feel attracted to boys, I believed I was a lesbian. So I mistook a strong platonic attraction for romantic attraction and got into a relationship (after all, I was taught that my feelings for those characters were supposedly different from what actual love should feel like). That is very similar to what aromantics and asexuals go through before they realize they’re not broken.

You’re making this up in order to mock LGBT+ individuals who face oppression in daily life!



Wrong. We’re not part of LGBT+. We’re also not asexual or aromantic for being fictophiliac. I’m writing this to let you guys know we exist, not to claim a label that isn’t ours to claim.

Aren’t you aromantic and/or asexual by default?



I don’t consider myself aromantic because a) going by that label would be unfair towards aros who don’t feel romantic attraction at all, and b) I don’t like erasing my own existence by claiming not to feel something that I do.

I’m asexual because I’m asexual, not because I’m fictophiliac. However, some may choose to go with either label to explain our lack of attraction to people without getting demeaned.

How exactly are you struggling?

- being unable to express our feelings to the character in question and getting rejected by them before we start getting too desperate

- dealing with friends and family members who expect us to date and have children (equally to aros and aces who are told “you haven’t met the right person yet” - but joke’s on them, some of us have indeed)

- if we open up about who we like, we’re always going to receive strange looks; dealing with prejudice, ignorance, dehumanization

- our feelings are constantly played down and mocked even by fandoms (I don’t understand - why are our feelings less valid than other people’s? It’s not like we value our platonic or family relationships less than anyone else.)

- even if we managed to establish some sort of relationship, we can’t be open about it like everyone else; there are always going to be others who like the same character; comparing ourselves to those makes us lose confidence in our own qualities

- getting insulted for no reason with ableist language

- being confronted with the importance of “real” romantic / sexual relationships and the fact that we’re never going to have what others call essential for happiness (physical partnership, marriage, children)

- if we achieve happiness without those things, no one believes us

- spending our whole lives feeling broken, hoping to fall in love “normally”, forcibly getting into unfulfilling relationships, betraying our feelings, trying to fix ourselves (plus getting demonized if said relationship doesn’t work out)

- feeling alienated as though we don’t really belong into this world

- if someone like us comes out to media, they are ridiculed and humiliated

- suicidal thoughts, mental illnesses, mental scars, lifelong lovesickness resulting from all the points above

I hope I could provide you with an insight. It’d be nice for our existence to at least be acknowledged instead of trampled on. Please feel free to ask if you have any other questions! What to do with this information is up to you to decide. (But come on, do you really think I’d waste hours on writing this post if I wasn’t serious?)

Thank you for reading!