To conclude today’s child-centric trio of letters, I present to you a beautifully observant, expertly written complaint from a schoolboy by the name of Richard Millington which verges on comedy gold. The letter was sent to President Kennedy in February of 1963, just a few years after the U.S. government introduced the President’s Council on Physical Fitness with a view to promoting physical fitness amongst Americans, teachers included.

Transcript

2571 Portola Way

Sacramento, Calif.

February 11, 1963

Dear President Kennedy,

I would like to know why, in this age of stress on physical fitness, there are still paunchy teachers around. These teachers are supposed to be good examples to us poor, disgusted kids. We kids do the exercises the teachers tell us, while the teachers stand around talking to other teachers. How are we supposed to believe exercises are worth it if the teachers don’t seem to be interested?

I move that a new law be passed that requires teachers to keep themselves in the pink, too. Thank you for your attention and please reply soon.

Sincerely yours,

Richard Millington

P.S. Even some of the Scoutmasters have midriff bulge.