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I get the side-eye for laughing at the wrong parts of Joker, committing to the bit, the Alphabet Wars heat up over trans-women and their penises, eyeball wiggles, letting 17-year-olds vote, The Cotton Ceiling, impeachment, leaving the door unlocked, the in-group preferences of white liberals, cereal bandits, fellow Dr. Phil alum, Goose Wayne calls in, and a guy gets raped by his dog; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

This just in, the “Joker N-Word Countdown” guy apparently had his accounts hacked by some kind of SIM card invasion. Twitter, PayPal, Coinbase, etc. I don’t know if it’s true, but I did watch his video about it. And in the video, he stops just short of calling all the people who were disappointed by his dickless little skit something. I’m not sure what that was going to be, but I don’t think it was going to be kind, and I definitely don’t think it was going to be something I self-identify with since I’m one of the people he’s talking about. Who knows. Who knows if it’s yet another hoax or yet another cope. Rationalize the randomness of the violence, internalize the disappointment and move on. It’s the only way to keep the self intact in a post-information-based economy. Fuck him! All you had to do was say the word. The only thing to do is get started on my Silly-Pants Skating Routine, which I also did promise, and I also will do, but first…

I admit it. I laughed and cheered during at parts of the Joker movie that were inappropriate. I knew it was wrong. I knew it would make people uncomfortable. But I did it anyway. Yes, there was a split second when I could have been on the right side of history. I could have muffled my enthusiasm for the people getting murdered by the protagonist of a movie–which I say to trivialize it, but I know that’s a misrepresentation, and so do “they”–the people in the theater around me who would look up and see avatars of themselves die on screen and who I knew would be upset by my laughter. But still, I did it anyway! Fuck em! I knew it would make them uncomfortable, and it made laughing more pleasurable. They knew that too. I knew that they knew, and they knew that I knew that they knew. Somewhere in their minds behind the part where they were struggling to figure out how they had been tricked into seeing a film where they were the bad guy; the self-gratifying, the conniving, the humorless, the lack of agency and the abundance of it–people hate that shit. They spend all day every day being told they are the good guy, but here it is! Some kind of anti-church in this cultural Cold War where they are walked slowly but surely through a gallery of tangental grotesqueries that are no one’s fault toward the inexorable–the Daedalian, Lovecraftian, let’s go with a more palatable “mind fuck” of everyone’s worst fear:

Someone is laughing, and I don’t understand why.

I don’t think the difference between fantasy and reality as easy to spot as everyone says it is. I understand that we have to say it is. We have to be in lock-step on that one or else we lose our favorite toys. We will come and take them away from ourselves. Video games don’t make us violent. Binge-watching “Sex and the City” won’t make your wife an argumentative cunt for the evening. Art is inspiring and beautiful and evokes feelings of joy and beauty and togetherness and I can’t live without music, but the reverse is absolutely not true. To suggest otherwise, is statistically insane. There’s a difference between fantasy and reality.

If fantasy and reality weren’t interchangeable, the suicide rate would be 100%. No one would date anybody, no one would ever have a kid, and not one person would have voted for Trump. It would be a terrible world.

In-group Preferences by Race/Politics

The Cotton Ceiling

“A Modest Rebuttal” by Plageuis



Dick Pics





A thumbnail of a society by The Levi.

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