if your feelings are hurt by lesbians online telling you to be critical of your relationships with men, try these easy steps to alleviate your pain!:



1. turn off your computer, go outside, breathe in the fresh heterosexual-approving air!

2. talk to your parents about your relationship with a man! I’m sure they’ll be approving and supportive.

3. watch a movie! straights are represented in almost all of them. it can be very affirming!

4. listen to the radio! most, if not all, songs are about heterosexual relationships and are more often portrayed in a positive light! if not, they at least don’t name heterosexuality as the root of their problems.

5. go on vacation! as a Card Carrying Heterosexual™ you can travel anywhere you want, without fear of being murdered or beaten for your sexuality.

6. plan your wedding with the comforting knowledge that Westboro Baptist Church won’t be in attendance - unless you invite them, of course!

7. read a book! heterosexuality is one of the core tennants of a good novel!

8. talk to your boyfriend about it! he probably has similar, if not more pornified, opinions of lesbians

9. go to church! revel in the sanctioned heterosexual atmosphere and remember that when Judgement Day comes, you’ll be ascending into Heaven while those who wronged you descend into Hell



there you go! I hope this fun-filled list helps you get your spirits up from all this Hard Mean Discourse! just remember: all of society has your back on this one!



Don’t Let The Dykes Get You Down!™