If two trains leave Tulsa at 3 p.m., 1 traveling at 75 mph and the other 85, and if the first goes east and the other west, how long will it take for them to be 487 miles apart?

The answer: White cisgender b*st*rds have systematically subjugated all others through social constructs and capitalistic manifestations of the inherent patriarchal evil.

Perhaps you haven’t learned the new math, but there’s a lot of it goin’ ’round.

Just see: “Seattle Public Education Posts Its White-Privilege ‘Math Ethnic Studies Framework,’ And It Just May Blow Your Mind”

But for those of you who understand that objectivity is outdated and not subscribing to microagressions is a microagression and commiting a microagression is a macroagression, do we have a job for you.

Dr. Kate Clancy is offering the opportunity of a lifetime to one lucky “anti-racist, intersectional feminist biologist” jonesing for a PhD.

If you’ve always wanted to study how…

Well, I’ll just let her tell it:

“Are you an anti-racist, intersectional feminist biologist looking for an awesome lab in which to get your PhD? Want to study how environmental stressors (including those from structural racism/sexism) influence women’s & gender diverse people’s reproductive function?”

Are you an anti-racist, intersectional feminist biologist looking for an awesome lab in which to get your PhD? Want to study how environmental stressors (including those from structural racism/sexism) influence women's & gender diverse people's reproductive function? — Dr. Kate Clancy (@KateClancy) October 12, 2019

She’s nothing if not specific. Because, what if you were a racist intersectional feminist biologist? Wrong fit.

But if you’ve got the goods, she’s sittin’ on go to “advocate for you”:

Apply to Illinois Anthropology and come work with me! Applications due 12/1/2019 for fall 2020. And write me ahead of time so we can chat by phone so I can get to know you. I want to advocate for you! https://t.co/y0DvnXgAQP — Dr. Kate Clancy (@KateClancy) October 12, 2019

According to her Twitter profile, Kate’s an associate professor at the University of Illinois. Her interests: “Harassment, discrimination, stress, and menstrual cycles.”

Apparently, she also hosts the Period Podcast, “a podcast about ladypart science.”

And if you’re worried about sexual violence in the world, Kate’s fixing it:

From one view, I know it looks like nothing has changed around sexual violence/harassment. But many of us have been scooping away at the rot for years. You can't see the dent we're making all the time, but I promise, we are making it. — Dr. Kate Clancy (@KateClancy) October 5, 2018

As for the job opening, she’s got some interest:

“Can I get a second PhD? Because I think I would love that environment!” “I mean… it’s too late for me. But are you looking for postdocs?” “Is the fall start strict? I have a current masters student who would be really interested in this, but doesn’t finish until end of 2020!” “If this had been two years ago I would have been there in a second! Doing my PhD already but if/when you’re looking for a post doc in a few years, you’ll hear from me so quick”

Some naysayers got serious:

“Dr. Clancy, you should come see the institutional racism and slaughter of whites in South Africa. Some liberals call it payback. Was never this bad under Apartheid though. Read the book “Kill the Boer” by Ernst Roets.” “Makes me highly suspicious of your work. The study of biology should have no political leaning, and to recruit on ideological bent is a huge red flag. I knew this crap was in the humanities, but it seems it’s metastasizing…” “If you had any sense whatsoever you would be completely and utterly ashamed of yourself for spreading this ideological excrement. It is truly a clear indication of a deep disorder of the mind.”

And there was this head-scratcher:

I can’t wait until white people die out — Olive Man (@MedMindset) October 15, 2019

But then there were these:

I hope this is a joke? — Valid Thought (@validthought) October 15, 2019

Wait, this is a real post? I thought it was a joke from the first tweet… — Ryan Mauldin (@RMauldin) October 16, 2019

In sexist, bigoted and only just learned the term biology in reading this post. Any chance of a counterbalance position? — Not Very Creative (@NotVeryCreativ7) October 15, 2019

There are other feminist disciplines too! Feminist mathematicians say that 1+1 is only 2 because of heteropatriarchical systems of oppression that seek to make traditionally oppressed minorities feel wrong in school and keep them from pursuing high paying STEM careers. — Jason Andrews (@PersuasionRisng) October 15, 2019

And in Femalgebra, they don’t use X and Y as variables, only X and X. They can’t figure out why their equations don’t come out right. — Jason Andrews (@PersuasionRisng) October 16, 2019

Transgender woman here. I've been trying, but I can't seem to get pregnant. Strongly suspect stress from structural oppression at fault. You can go ahead and study me, though of course the result is a foregone conclusion. — Sveta Istoothin (@istoothin) October 15, 2019

And this:

None of this shit is real. pic.twitter.com/JuiCuXrkib — 🦉Great and unmatched Wisdomination 🦉 (@Supreme_Owl_FTW) October 15, 2019

I’m posting this one mostly for the screen name:

"Science"

Deleting data that does not conform to ideology. pic.twitter.com/OogqM8zjrB — Thus Farted Zarathustra (@Middle_Man_11) October 15, 2019

And just in case you’re interested in the opening but intimidated by Kate’s academic disposition, she’s a chick who can get casual with the best of ’em:

-ALEX

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