On the 26th of June, 2015, the supreme court of the united states ruled that state-level ban on gay marriage was unconstitutional, thereby making marriage between gay couples legal across the country. This event was to bring an end to all forms of homophobia and discrimination towards gay people…… or so we thought. All across the country and in most other parts of Europe, non-sexual gay sexual acts between two consenting adults is still frowned upon. “I can’t give another guy a blowjob, I’m not gay” many men would say innocently. “I don’t hate gay people; I’m just not attracted to other men”.

According to a recent study conducted by the Williams institute, LGBTQ+ individuals account for roughly 3.5% of the population. What’s this means is that although quite unlikely, it is statistically possible that you could go your whole life without coming into contact with an LGBT individual. Unless he moves to a different vicinity, A gay person living in a small town could go his whole life, or a large portion of it, without coming into contact with another gay man. If you would willingly let someone you call a friend go through this, then you are no friend or ally to the LGBT+ community.

The idea that you need to be attracted to someone to engage in sexual acts with them is absurd, archaic and has no place in modern society. Guys masturbate and touch their own penises all the time, how is that any gayer than touching another man’s? Because the penis is attached to a different person than you? Give me a break. If it was physically possible, I’d bet a lot of men would suck their owns dicks if they could. I’ve often pointed out that how society demeans and ostracizes gay sex is a result of the inherent and institutionalized homophobia that plagues western society. Most men get uncomfortable when a gay sex scene comes up on the television. Most of them get uncomfortable when they get into “gay situations” (Holding hands with other men, dicks touching during three-ways, touching another man’s dick by mistake, etc…). If this isn’t homophobia, I don’t know what is.

There is nothing inherently gay or weird about sucking another man’s penis. Not unless you want it to be. We help friends with their homework when they are stuck, we lend them our video games and movies, we buy them drinks when they are thirsty, how are any of these acts any different from giving a friend a blowjob when he is horny? So long as we, as a community, continue to hold such bigoted about gay sex, we can never move to move forward as a society. Keep these backwards conceptions in the 18th century where they belong.

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