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I think I make a circuit around campus trying to dance around red tape at least three times per semester. The photo / camera / recording / marketing labs are bad, but financial aid is by far the most obnoxious. They’ll send you to sixteen offices, one at a time, in an order determined not by the logic or ease of the route, but by the hellishness of the walking distance. They’ll also send you to fetch things that could be e-mailed or faxed, because reasons, and Lo, this turns sixteen trips into thirty-two trips. And you have no choice but to make their brimstone pilgrimage, because all the money you need for the semester is locked in their interlocked, dry-washing clasp, which is foul like a harpy’s.

Not that I have opinions, or think there is a special copper pot in hell for paper pushers who delight in the misery of people who do not understand bureaucracy. I just want the wonders of modern technology to save me a little leg work.