A distinctive temperature scale seems to have evolved in Glasgow caused by recent extreme UK weather patterns. In other parts of Britain abnormally high temperatures such as those recorded over the last week or so are referred as a heatwave. In Glasgow we now call this “taps aff” weather. When the taps aff point has been reached it is universally deemed appropriate for men of all ages and sizes to remove their tops.

West of Scotland climatologists have yet to pinpoint specifically at what point on the Celsius scale taps aff happens, but are believed to be carrying out tests. At the other end of the evolving Glasgow temperature scale is “bawbag” weather. Thus when the temperatures drop a Glaswegian might be heard to say to his chum: “I think we’re in for some real hurricane bawbag weather.” The term was coined in 2011 for the cyclone that Berlin scientologists had named Friedhelm. Bawbag was felt to be a more appropriate term in Glasgow because it conveyed a measure of defiance in the face of oncoming climactic adversity.

For many Glaswegians the taps aff point occurs when it is possible to remove your outer garments without experiencing goosepimples. This has led to confusion and more than a few medical emergencies over the last few years. The consumption of a quantum of alcohol or a heavy curry lunch can make a Glaswegian mistakenly believe that the taps aff point has been reached when it may actually remain some degrees distant.

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An unbroken line of 30C-plus temperatures in Glasgow last week brooked no argument: it is taps aff weather. The roof on the Glasgow Science Centre has begun to melt in temperatures last seen in 1893 and speed restrictions have been imposed on rail routes where the tracks have begun to warp.

The removal of tops in Glasgow is done with cheerful insouciance and a pleasing absence of self-consciousness. In other heat-spots such as St Tropez and Mallorca the removal of outer garments is largely confined to the beach and is accepted as the privilege of those with bodies and tans to match. Glasgow doesn’t really have body issues while tan is how you drink your beer when you are in a hurry.

Glasgow is proud of its sprawling ethnic diversity; it is a city of many colours. In weather like this the indigenous white Celts add another one to the mix: Clydeside red.