The chaos brought by the Tory government and its brand of Brexit knows no end. The new – and newly ousted – Brexit secretary, Dominic Raab, found that out the hard way when, following the publication of the Brexit white paper, he was promptly demoted to the has-been bench. Yet let’s assume for a second that with Theresa May firmly at the reins, the government somehow pulls off what has so far eluded it and secures a deal with the EU that overcomes the difficulties over the Irish border. That deal would clear the way for a transition period, during which Britain remained a de facto member of the EU until 31 December 2020, following its rules but without a voice at the top table.

The fact remains that we won’t know the shape of the future permanent relationship with the EU by 29 March 2019. May is putting us in danger of buying a pig in a poke by charging towards leaving without knowing what awaits us after 2020. We also don’t have any certainty on whether the transition period will be extended beyond that date. Throughout this period, however long it lasts, we will be paying our full dues but will no longer be involved in decision-making. This is the worst of both worlds, and vassal statehood is not something to be cherished. It is a dead end that will be tolerated by neither leavers nor remainers.

Extending the article 50 period is now the compromise whose time has come. Triggering it when May did, in the hope of gaining a three-figure majority in last year’s general election, was another of the prime minister’s delusional calculations. But there is nothing inevitable about the servitude nightmare she is now heaping on us.

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A failure to win an extension to article 50 will mean, as of 30 March 2019, the subordination of our country to a European mute-state. May is driving her Brexiters mad because, increasingly, she is steering Britain towards remaining a member of the club but with no ability to take part in making the rules. That’s why the inherited wealthy in their midst, with their gold-plated pensions, prefer to take their chances jumping from the clubhouse windows. Let them leap into the dark. But for the rest of us whose families need us to work, extending article 50 is the safety net needed to allow us to stay full EU members. It is now the manoeuvre necessary to win the time and space in which to negotiate properly what we seek from a future relationship with Europe.

As the general secretary of a trade union, I have years of experience of negotiations – often difficult and always against the backdrop of more than 30 years of intensifying neoliberalism, privatisation and job cuts in the transport and travel industries. The lesson I have learned is that you don’t go in burnishing your ideological credentials. And you never close any doors before you know what the final deal looks like.

Thankfully, although it has yet to be formally discussed, it seems our EU partners may be willing to respond positively if Britain applies to extend article 50. Simon Coveney, Ireland’s deputy prime minister and foreign affairs minister, is on record as saying he would welcome such a strategy. We should be grabbing this alliance with both hands. Let’s not box ourselves in before we know what might be possible and what price we may need to pay for leaving. No one voted for Brexit to make us poorer or to put our jobs at risk.

May’s cavalier “take it or leave it” approach to any deal she negotiates risks charging us over the cliff edge. But British people aren’t lemmings. And this isn’t a game show, where the strength of the Tory face paint will scare the other team. Brexit is far too important to be left to the squabbling, indecisive and incapable hand of May and her cohorts. Britain’s best negotiating tactic to avert the prime minister’s certain course towards a damaging and disempowering Brexit deal is to demand an extension to article 50 and give a necessary safety blanket to our people, the majority of whom are against a no-deal Brexit.

• Manuel Cortes is general secretary of the Transport Salaried Staffs’ Association