The Apple AirPods’ unique selling point is their wireless design, affording users unparalleled freedom. However, anxiety over losing the tiny in-ears prompted e-tailers Nordstrom and Amazon to sell ‘carrying straps’… facepalm.

Ahead of the Christmas gift-buying extravaganza, Nordstrom and Amazon have begun selling $60 Carrying Straps for the $150 AirPods, thus undoing all of the “revolutionary” research and development by Apple in one fell, low-tech swoop.

“Avoid losing your wireless AirPods by attaching them to this magnetic-locking leather strap and wearing around the neck when not in use,” the product description reads. Needless to say, the late capitalism-weary online commentariat wasted no time in deriding this egregious display of opulence, pointing out that traditional, wired Apple headphones cost a fraction of the price, both in cash and anxiety.

“AirPod culture is ridiculous. Materialism at its silliest,” wrote one Twitter user who’d clearly had enough. “We’ve ‘come full circle,” was the resounding consensus as commenters chortled and guffawed at the redundancy.

Some even suggested potential new accessories so that companies could innovate further.



Alex Jones is joined by Dr. E. Michael Jones to break down the collapse of Western civilization.

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