Great art can evoke powerful emotions in the viewer; in this case, that emotion is WHATHTHEFUCKNONONOPE.

Tate Modern is the proud new home of ‘Colored sculpture’ by Jordan Wolfson. Join me, if you will, and take a look at the absolute wrongness of this thing.

This seven-foot puppet of a young boy is suspended from the rigging by three chains, which constantly, relentlessly drag the child around the installation. Sometimes up…

And sometimes – oh god it’s so wrong the way it BENDS – all the way down.

If you’re thinking ‘wow, those eyes are pretty intense’, then you’re totally right!

Not only are they powered by LCD screens, sensors installed in the space track visitors’ locations, so the puppet can… stare directly at them?!

Don’t worry though, eventually the staring stops! Because, sometimes, the eyes are replaced with frightening text and imagery instead.

Oh.

The piece was ‘gifted’ to the Tate by Joe and Marie Donnelly, but it’s not confirmed if the gallery nervously started babbling: ‘Oh! Wow. I mean, wow. Thanks. This is… a lot! Really! You shouldn’t have! You really shouldn’t have! No, no, we love it, it’s so… it’s so… unusual! Wow!’

The curators, who have seen a horror movie before and cannot be fooled so easily, have wisely put it straight in the basement where it can be safely contained. Which is to say: you can see Colored Sculpture for free in the Tanks space, which lies beneath the gallery’s new Blavatnik Building.

In conclusion, puppet does not blink, puppet does not forget, puppet sees you now, puppet WILL see you again.

Fucking art, man, I don’t know.

Location: Tate Modern, Bankside. Nearest station is Blackfriars. See it on Google Maps.

Opening hours: Sunday to Thursday 10.00–18.00. Friday to Saturday 10.00–22.00.

Price: admission is free. (Some art exhibitions at the Tate charge admission.)

More information: from their website.

For a meal afterwards: the best restaurants near Tate Modern.

Also published on Medium.