Deemed by critics to be the most efficient ways to separate disgusting vegetables and legumes from more enjoyable parts of the meal, on Sunday 17 of December, right in time for festivities, the well-known kitchen and home equipment brand Pyrex introduced its newest addition to its line of kitchenware aimed specifically at the white middle-class American child. The optimized plate has already been registered at the patent office and is esteemed to be one of the biggest breakthroughs in innovation for the past century, with its main feature being what the CEO described as a “slightly elevated divider along the middle of the plate”

“I like broccoli but my friends don’t so I don’t eat broccoli” -a spineless teenager, subject to peer pressure

“I am severely allergic to vegetables and this new technology is actually a lifesaver!” -A woman that is definitely not allergic to vegetables. Just obese.

“My mom says runny overcooked veggies are the reason daddy left” -Katie,5.

The high-performance product, despite the praise it has gathered through social media and fora, as well as getting its own hashtag #TheWall and #MakePlateGreatAgain, has also managed to stir up controversy, as people support the belief that such a separation of food groups is “unethical and wrong”, making references to a new kind of apartheid.

The CEO of Pyrex, amidst the backlash his revolutionary invention has created, made it known that he intends to continue stirring the pot, a statement that is thought to hint at a self-stirring saucepan as a possible addition to his series of equipment.