"Teef make da wurld go round!" old Ork adage[1]

Teef is an Ork word for teeth. An Ork’s teeth are grown and lost several times a year, quickly recycling to compensate for the hard time they are put through (chewing thick Squig bones and gouging opponents in pit fights). As well as performing these roles, teef are also an important part of an Ork’s status. The larger and sharper an Ork’s fangs, the more important he is, and the better he can handle himself in a fight. However, the most important role teef play is the one of Ork currency.[1][2]

Ork Settlements and trade thrive on teef. Teef are the lifeblood of Ork commerce and a one of the most important factors in Orks’ hierarchy. In Ork society only big, sharp, ivory-like fangs have any real value and - the miserable stubs of Humans and Grots are too fiddly and pathetic and as such are worthless. Teef usually have a consistent trade value as anyone who demands more teef than something is worth is asking for a beating.[1][2] The standart Ork prices are:

1 toof - a good squig pie and a tankard of fungus beer. [3]

2 teef - a decent weapon like a Shoota. [1]

20 or more teef - a Warbuggy[1]

A big flash Battlewagon could cost a Warboss hundreds of teef.[3]

As Ork teef are grown and shed on a regular basis, every Ork has a stable source of income. In times of dire need he can ask a Painboy to extract a couple of teef prematurely. Teef of Bad Moon Orks grow faster then teef of Orks of any other clan and they are famous as the richest Orks, who can afford the flashiest guns. Some Orks make use of special Squigs to grow teef and such Squigs are highly valued in Ork society. Despite these properties, if not purposefully crushed, Ork teef will eventually disintegrate and fall apart, making sure that even the richest Ork’s hoard will never last him forever. Because of it, Orks don’t save their teef, they have to spend them fairly quickly, and this keeps the market’s dynamics working evenly and sustains the whole Ork community. This simple approach to an issue most civilisations agonise about is a good example of Ork approach to most problems.[1][2]

The origins of using teeth as a currency are as misty as most Ork history. However, it is not that much of a surprise as Ork teef have many practical uses beyond their simple use as currency. When carved properly they retain an edge without blunting for many weeks, and their molecular composition means they can cut through many substances, including thin sheets of steel. Ingesting certain compounds mixed with teef can aid an Ork’s regenerative processes. Painboys even use teef, crushed into a powder and mixed with various fungi as effective poultices.[1][2]

Related Articles