This post is part of a multi multi-part blog series under the headline, “How to Find a Nanny, and why Simply Searching “Best Nanny Agencies NYC” Doesn’t Work.”

In my prior post, I introduced the concept of “Nannyology”—the science of understanding nannies— and started to outline a clear picture of what a nanny is and does, what the job actually entails, and how you should and should not approach the relationship. This is one of the first things I discuss with all of my nyc nanny agency clients.

In this post, I will discuss live-in nannies vs. live-out nannies and what some of the differences are between them. In a subsequent post, I’ll discuss what a nanny is, and what a nanny is not – since some people often get these things confused!

Live-In vs. Live Out Nannies

The first big decision that you will need to make when starting to think about who you want to hire is whether your nanny should be Live-In or Live-Out. A Live-In nanny is one who lives with the family in their home for some portion of the week, while a Live-Out nanny commutes to work each day and, after finishing her duties, returns home each night.

What Exactly is a Live-In Nanny?

Live-In nannies are the least expensive kind of nanny because you are giving them room and board as well as a salary. Some Live-Ins go home for some portion of the week, and some stay with their employer’s family full-time because they don’t have another residence. A typical work schedule for a Live-In is five full days and nights on, and two days off each week. If you want additional days and hours, you will need to pay for the extra time. The big advantage of live-in nannies are that you know you have round-the-clock coverage for those five days: If you and your spouse both travel for work, you have someone to spend the night; if your child is up all night with a stomach virus, you have someone on hand to help; and your nanny will never be late for work because a snow storm hit or the train broke down.

To have a Live-In nanny, you need to be able to provide them with their own private, furnished bedroom and bathroom, and it’s helpful if the space is somewhat separate from the rest of the family. Live-Ins who drive also typically have a car at their disposal, either for transporting the children or for personal use; they also tend to cost more because they are the smallest percentage of nannies and thus are in high-demand. A lot of parents don’t initially like the idea of having someone else living in their home, but Live-Ins don’t necessarily mingle with the family after their hours are done. You want to map out your rules for privacy at the start—for example, do you want the nanny to go to her room at a certain time in the evening? Can she have a lock on her door so the children can’t go to her when she’s off duty? Can the nanny have a friend over or go out at night?—so that everybody is comfortable.

The Key to a Successful Live-In Arrangement: Personality

Whether they’re going to be living in for a year or a month, live-in nannies have to, by nature, be extremely adaptable and flexible. Live-In nannies don’t have much freedom, and they can get antsy because they’re stuck in the job for five straight days. A mellower, more accepting nanny will be fine with this, but a nanny with a stronger personality, who is used to working 9-5 and having plenty of autonomy, will have a harder time. I’m always wary when I interview a nanny who says, “I can do Live-In, I’ve done Live-Out for 20 years,” because more often than not, nannies who try to make the switch end up feeling suffocated and quitting because it’s such a huge change.

Should you use a Live-in Nanny Agency?

Working with a really good and well-respected live-in nanny agency NYC families have trusted for many can be a good way to immediately gain access to a large pool of candidates, provided that you don’t mind the cost. A nanny agency will typically charge an intake/registration fee of several hundred dollars, and then, if you hire one of their nannies, 15-20% of the nanny’s annual salary. The pluses to working with an agency are that you’ll have someone to assist you and a ready supply of different candidates—if you don’t like the first five nannies that they send you, they can send you five more the very next day.

Live-Out Nannies and How to Find Live-Out Nannies

Most nannies are Live-Out nannies who will commute back and forth to your house each day. At an average rate of $15 per hour, they are more expensive than Live-In, and a driving, Live-Out nanny will command $18-20 per hour or more. In general, Live-Out nannies will have less flexibility in terms of hours and schedules; they will expect to arrive at a certain time, work a set number of hours, and then leave at an agreed-upon time as well.

There are some Live-Out nannies who occasionally live in—for example, if the parents go away for a week, the nanny may come to stay with the kids, or if the family goes away for the summer, the nanny may live in at the family’s vacation home for those few months. But this is something that needs to be discussed and agreed to by the nanny before you hire her. You should not assume that a Live-Out nanny is willing or able to do Live-In, and I have seen many nanny-family relationships severed because the nanny felt that the pressure of being with the family 24/7—even in a beautiful apartment in Rome—was just too much.

Should You Use a Live-Out Nanny Agency?

Similar to working with a live-in nanny agency, working with a really good and well-respected live-out nanny agency (particularly a nanny agency in NYC) can be a good way to immediately gain access to a large pool of candidates that you might not have found on your own. However, one thing to consider is that the fee—even at the toniest agencies—does not guarantee quality. Remember, the nanny world is the “wild west,” and agencies aren’t regulated any more than the nannies are. Smaller nanny agencies in particular have a propensity for shady activity, and I have encountered several local nanny agencies in my career that provided nannies with forged documents and fake drivers’ licenses. So you need to keep in mind that just because a nanny comes to you through an agency, it does not mean that she is guaranteed to be legal, more competent, more qualified, or of sounder mind than a nanny you would find elsewhere. You should still put the candidates through all the steps of the Gold Standard hiring process (call the references, do in-home trials), to make sure that you are getting what you pay for. My steps and techniques, combined with an agency’s database and services, can be a very effective combination.

The Key to a Successful Live-Out Arrangement: Reliability

I always tell my clients that Live-Out works best for families with at least one parent who has a fairly predictable schedule. If you both get held up regularly at the office, have commitments after work, or need to travel for business at a moment’s notice, you will need to make sure that your nanny has the capacity and desire to cover you during those times. Live-Outs themselves also have to be extremely responsible and reliable, as they are susceptible to commuting problems due to weather and traffic, so you should factor this into your agreed-upon start time, and may want to have a back-up in the wings just in case.

Which Arrangement is Best for You?

If you are still on the fence and have the option of doing either Live-In or Live-Out, it really comes down to your needs as parents regarding those early morning and after work hours. If you both work 60 hours a week and travel extensively for your jobs, a Live-Out situation is very hard to make work. You can do it, but you may end up paying so much for extra, add-on hours and spending so much time arranging back-up that it becomes a challenge financially and logistically. With a Live-In, you’re saving money and you’ve got the coverage—anything can pop up, any situation can arise, and you’re not scrambling.

If you’re finding yourself in need of help – either looking for someone to handle the entire search for you or to just coach you through certain steps in the process, use the button below to find a time to speak with us.

In the coming posts, I’ll discuss:

How to Define Your Nanny Job Duties and How to Write a Nanny Job Description?

Secrets that only the Best Nanny Agency in NYC will tell you…

Common myths that parents have about nannies

The Gold Standard Hiring Process for finding and selecting your ideal nanny

And much, much more…

I hope that you find this content helpful, informative, and educational as you embark on your journey!