TMZ is really out here getting the most relevant interviews with some of the hottest celebrities and iconic individuals. This time we see them interviewing a big, big star: a man named Brandon Johnson who claims he was Demi Lovato‘s drug dealer. I see you, TMZ! Get those high-demand interviews! Barbara Walters, who?

According to TMZ, Demi Lovato knew that she was taking a risk when she freebased pills that fateful night of her overdose. And we know that because the man who claims to have supplied her the pills told us as such. Brandon spoke with TMZ on the street and gave them all the details that a police investigation will require to close in a prompt and just manner.

First, Brandon woos the audience by telling us about his relationship with Demi. Don’t worry, Brandon is a true gentleman and is sure to think of poor Demi’s emotional state and doesn’t reveal any gross information no one needed:

“It was a flirty friendship but nothing more, it kind of grew into a… sexual friendship… later on in the relationship we messed around…”

Okay… well… I mean… who hasn’t tossed a half-assed handy to a guy selling you some drugs? I’m not judging. Brandon continued by detailing how he came to be at Demi’s house that morning.

“She texted me at 4 o’clock in the morning, um, because she’s a girl and she wanted to kick it, I mean why else does any other girl text another guy at 4 o’clock in the morning to come over?”

God this is a fucking gentle-man right here. Why else would a girl invite her drug dealer over at 4am? Certainly not to bake cookies.

Brandon is a true icon in the drug dealing world. Not only is he putting his face on display for the police to see on one of the biggest celebrity news sites in the entire world, he is also detailing how good of a drug dealer he is to potential clients. You worried Brandon’s drugs will almost kill you the way they did Demi? Don’t worry, he’s an honorable drug dealer, okay? He always warns his customers beforehand:

“100% she knew what she was taking. I disclosed to her that these are not pharmaceutical, they are aftermarket pills: they’re much stronger, she understood fully… For people to think that there was any misconception on my behalf is absolutely ridiculous. I’m not here to hurt anybody.”

After doing drugs together, Brandon says he left Demi’s house a few hours later around 7 or 8 in the morning and she was asleep but not in distress. As we know, a few hours later at 11:30 am Demi was found by her friend in immense distress and had to be revived with Narcan. Demi is now at an out-of-state rehab working on herself.

TMZ says that Brandon was arrested back in March with guns, drugs and lots of cash and then was arrested again in June for a DUI and possessing cocaine. What a fucking winner. It’s a good thing he stopped to chat with TMZ photographers and ended up providing all the information the LAPD will require to prove criminal liability. See, TMZ has two jobs. One: to stalk celebrities and learn their most irrelevant information. Two: solve crimes.

Here’s the full interview:

Pic: TMZ.