Happy Independence Day, everyone. Today we settle in to the nuts and bolts of the convention, the new business items (NBIs). Up for debate today:

NBI 7: Let’s get rid of Arne Duncan.

NBI 9: “The NEA will support the termination of the use of ‘Redskins’ by any National Football League team.”

NBI 11: “NEA shall encourage hotels, with which we do business, to promote the diversity of political viewpoints through their television channel line-ups in the guest rooms.”

The rationale states: “We are all aware that the FOX channel(s) are primarily to express the conservative viewpoint while MSNBC channel is to promote the liberal side of the political debate. A hotel’s line-up that includes only one of these two channels (among others) is inherently an attempt to suppress one side of the political debate. Robust political debate is fundamental to our democracy. Most importantly, providing information about both sides of the political ‘argument’ is crucial to the democratic process. Most are aware of the efforts by millionaires/billionaires to control the political messages and when this control extends to include the hotels NEA rent to conduct business, NEA has a responsibility to encourage these hotels to have channel line-ups that reflect the desired balance in the political debate. That is, if there is a FOX channel, there should be a MSNBC channel also in the line-up and vice versa.”

NBI 32: “NEA selects hotels used during the annual NEA RA that provides a secure environment free of vagrants and/or panhandlers for their guests who smoke tobacco.”

Evidently the homeless are begging from delegates smoking in designated areas outside their hotels. Union staff estimates the cost of completing this action to be $1 million. In the interest of saving NEA money, I’m offering to solve the problem for, oh, $500,000 or so. Call me!

I remind you that an item cannot get on the agenda without the signatures of at least 50 delegates. I don’t think NEA has a No Hobo caucus, but it would be great if someone started one.

I admit that it’s a bummer when a group of people continually nag you for money when you’re just trying to go about your life. And no matter how much you give them, they’re always there the next day, asking for more.

NBI 36: No, seriously, let’s get rid of Arne Duncan.