Look, we've all seen the movies: Every utopia is one shocking reveal away from being a dystopian nightmare. A perfect society just cannot exist, and every attempt at creating one is going to result in monumental failure. We must learn from history to avoid repeating it, so let's take a look back at some of these so-called utopias and the stupid, crazy, or just downright obvious reasons they failed. Then we can collectively stop trying to better society altogether, grab some bats and some roller skates, and go play Armagedderby on the expressway.

6 Home, Washington, Is Torn Apart by Naked Dongs

NaJina McEnany

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Home, Washington, was a pseudo-anarchist commune established in 1895. The very idea of anarchists communing in an organized settlement is kind of at odds with itself, and as such it's difficult to determine whether Home's eventual collapse was a monumental failure or a shining example of anarchy at its finest.

According to writer Elbert Hubbard, Home was a place where "there is not a church, preacher, prostitute, saloon, doctor, constable, lawyer, or justice of the peace. There is entire freedom."

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Including the freedom to make terrible headwear decisions.

We don't know: "No constables and lawyers" is pretty good, but you lose us at the "no hookers or bars" bit. But hey, you have to give to get. It was pretty ballsy that the closest thing Home had to a government was the Mutual Home Association, which only sold houses to members if they pledged to uphold the rules (which were, essentially, "Don't be makin' any rules up in here"). Home's tolerance of free love and nude swimming quickly made the commune a popular spawning location for numerous turn-of-the-century outcasts, among them communists, food faddists, intellectuals, radical feminists, and just general assholes sick of having to pick up after themselves.