Since the first Raptor-Wizards playoff game has been dissected to death by all the other excellent Raptor Republic writers, I thought we could look at the lighter side and view some of the texts between Raptor players, coaches, Masai Ujiri and others I happened to have come into possession of this morning.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

10:32 AM

JAMES JOHNSON: Coach!

JAMES JOHNSON: Coach!

JAMES JOHNSON: Coach!!!

DWANE CASEY: What?

JAMES JOHNSON: Are you going to play me today?

JAMES JOHNSON: Coach?

—-

12:04 PM

ADAM SILVER: I thought we’d agreed you’d keep your speech clean this time,

MASAI UJIRI: I kept it clean. I didn’t say f**k.

ADAM SILVER: You said s**t,

MASAI UJIRI: I don’t think so.

ADAM SILVER: Yes, you did. I was standing ten feet away from you.

MASAI UJIRI: I don’t remember that.

ADAM SILVER: You don’t remember me standing there? You introduced me to the crowd.

MASAI UJIRI: Did they boo?

ADAM SILVER: No.

MASAI UJIRI: Are you sure?

ADAM SILVER: I’m not David Stern. Fans still like me.

MASAI UJIRI: Enjoy it. It won’t last long.

ADAM SILVER: I could say the same for you.

MASAI UJIRI: What?

ADAM SILVER: Remember Bryan Colangelo? They loved him at first, too.

MASAI UJIRI: Are you sure they didn’t boo you?

ADAM SILVER: You were there. Did you hear any boos?

MASAI UJIRI: I don’t think I was there.

ADAM SILVER: So you don’t think either you or me were there?

MASAI UJIRI: No.

ADAM SILVER: Hold on. I’m sending you a video.

https://youtu.be/PPzIZAm10Jc

MASAI UJIRI: Oh ya. I remember now. I didn’t say s**t.

ADAM SILVER: It was just blanked out.

MASAI UJIRI: No, I just didn’t say anything, so it sounded like it was blanked out.

ADAM SILVER: Whatever. We’re still fining you.

MASAI UJIRI: I think I heard boos.

—-

1:42 PM

JAMES JOHNSON: Coach?

JAMES JOHNSON: Coach?

JAMES JOHNSON: Coach!!

DWANE CASEY: What now?

JAMES JOHNSON: You know I can defend Pierce.

JAMES JOHNSON: Coach?

—-

1:50 PM

MASAI UJIRI: What’s going on with James Johnson?

DWANE CASEY: What do you mean?

MASAI UJIRI: He keeps texting me asking why he’s not playing.

DWANE CASEY: Sorry.

MASAI UJIRI: I don’t want an apology. I want you to talk to him.

DWANE CASEY: About what?

MASAI UJIRI: Why you’re not playing him.

DWANE CASEY: Matchups.

MASAI UJIRI: Didn’t you have Tyler defending Pierce in the first half?

DWANE CASEY: I didn’t want to go small.

MASAI UJIRI: Sorry. Wrong number.

—-

1:52 PM

MASAI UJIRI: What’s going on with James Johnson?

DWANE CASEY: We just had this conversation.

MASAI UJIRI: That was you?

DWANE CASEY: Yes.

MASAI UJIRI: And you said you didn’t want to go small?

DWANE CASEY: Right.

MASAI UJIRI: This is Dwane Casey, coach of the Raptors?

DWANE CASEY: Yes.

MASAI UJIRI: And you didn’t want to go small?

DWANE CASEY: People always accuse me of going small too quickly.

MASAI UJIRI: So you thought you’d prove them wrong in the playoffs?

DWANE CASEY: Good a time as any.

DWANE CASEY: You think I should have gone small?

MASAI UJIRI: You’re the coach.

DWANE CASEY: Yup.

MASAI UJIRI: For now.

DWANE CASEY: WHAT?????

MASAI UJIRI: Sorry. I didn’t mean to type that. My phone’s on speech-to-text.

DWANE CASEY: Oh.

DWANE CASEY: My job’s safe, though. Right?

MASAI UJIRI: Definitely.

DWANE CASEY: Whew!

MASAI UJIRI: Do you have Jeff Van Gundy’s number?

MASAI UJIRI: Never mind. James Johnson just texted it to me.

—-

3:22 PM

DEMAR DEROZAN: Paul Pierce just texted me a picture of himself with ‘it’ written on it.

KYLE LOWRY: What a dick.

DEMARY DEROZAN: Are you watching the Warriors-Pelicans game?

KYLE LOWRY: Yup.

DEMAR DEROZAN: Damn, GS is good.

KYLE LOWRY: Anthony Davis is having a hell of a first playoff game.

KYLE LOWRY: Think they’d trade him for Jonas?

DEMAR DEROZAN: LOL

KYLE LOWRY: Pelicans are getting smoked.

DEMAR DEROZAN: You realize that would be us if we played in the West?

KYLE LOWRY: That’s messed up.

KYLE LOWRY: Amir played well for an old man, today.

DEMAR DEROZAN: You realize he’s younger than you.

KYLE LOWRY: For realz?

DEMAR DEROZAN: Yup.

KYLE LOWRY: Man I wish we had Davis.

DEMAR DEROZAN: I wish we had Curry.

KYLE LOWRY: Yup. Wait, what?

DEMAR DEROZAN: Gotta go.

—-

5:23 PM

BEBE NOGUEIRA: Jonas era horrível hoje

JONAS VALANCIUNAS: ???

BEBE NOGUEIRA: Sorry. Thought you were Bruno.

—-

9:40 PM

DEMAR DEROZAN: Heads up. Drakes texting people to go out with him.

AMIR JOHNSON: Thanks. I’ll turn my phone off.

—-

10:12 PM

GREIVIS VASQUEZ: You watching Rockets game?

JONAS VALANCIUNAS: No. Just watched Paul Blart: Mall Cop

GREIVIS VASQUEZ: How was it?

JONAS VALANCIUNAS: I didn’t understand why it’s funny.

GREIVIS VASQUEZ: It wasn’t funny?

JONAS VALANCIUNAS: It must be an American thing.

GREIVIS VASQUEZ: James Harden is taking a million free throws.

JONAS VALANCIUNAS: Must be nice.

GREIVIS VASQUEZ: Maybe it’s the beard.

JONAS VALANCIUNAS: No, it’s obviously not the beard.