Thousands of the world’s wealthiest people will flock to Monaco this weekend to pay almost no attention whatsoever to the Formula 1 racing they’re simply not interested in.

‘The Monaco Grand whatsit is the highlight of the motor racing season for those of us who aren’t remotely interested in motor racing,’ said one perma-tanned cashsack we spoke to. ‘Yes, we could go to Monza or Silverstone but there’s nothing to do there and we might end up having to watch some actual motorsport, which would be ghastly.’

However, the Monaco GP doesn’t only attract people with unplaceable European accents who aren’t interested in F1. The principality’s annual Grand Prix will also attract dozens of top celebrities who aren’t interested in F1 either. ‘The Monaco Formula 1 race is THE place to be seen for people who don’t give a shit about Formula 1,’ said showbiz blogger Seaubiz Blorgar. ‘You’re no one if you’re not here this weekend, standing by the track during the race looking in completely the opposite direction.’

‘Monaco really is the ultimate place to talk about interesting things that I like, such as money, and not boring awful stuff that I hate, such as Formula 1,’ said Bernie Ecclestone.