Some people drink coffee on their way to work. Some people opt for tea.

And some stuff their mug with wads of cash for political favors.

Wait, what? Oh, Jersey, here we go again.

The mocha money in question was just one bribe in a scandal that officials say saw tens of thousands of dollars exchange hands — money feigning to be campaign contributions in return to steer expensive legal work to an unnamed tax attorney. It wasn’t just coffee cups, either. Bribes were received in envelopes and even paper bags.

Attorney General Gurbir S. Grewal announced the charges against five officials and local political candidates on Thursday, calling the scandal “old-school political corruption at its worst,” and it’s not just that. It’s political corruption at its dumbest. Did the five people charged really think that doing something so obvious and blatant would really go unnoticed?

A scandal like this is so cliche that David Chase wouldn’t let it be in “The Sopranos.” Martin Scorsese thinks it’s too on the nose for his next mob movie.

Bribes were delivered in restaurants, parking lots, a political fundraiser, and even campaign headquarters. Seriously? I’d say that the politicians were mailing it in, but actually mailing the bribes probably would have been smarter than this. This wasn’t exactly ABSCAM, the national FBI sting that lasted years and took down corrupt politicians across the country. It doesn’t seem like these politicians were even trying to hide — they were merely moths drawn to the flame.

What, did nobody have a briefcase to fill with money and conspicuously hand over in a public place? Or maybe you should have just tried Venmo-ing the bribes.

C’mon guys. We’re trying to make Jersey look good here, and this isn’t helping. There are already too many stereotypes to battle — whether it’s about how our air smells, how we talk, what exit we live on — for a scandal this dumb to feed the “corrupt New Jersey politics" trope that is so prevalent that it fueled a frickin’ Oscar-nominated Hollywood blockbuster.

Look, 2019 was maybe the most exhausting political year ever, and 2020 isn’t looking any better. This was the last thing we needed to wrap up a tumultuous year.

If we’re going to drain the swamp that is New Jersey politics, we’re going to need something a lot bigger than a coffee cup.

Jeremy Schneider may be reached at jschneider@njadvancemedia.com. Follow him on Twitter @J_Schneider. Find NJ.com on Facebook.

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