Eyy dere readers! The first episode can be found here, and the second here.

Sephiroth: yeah, makes sense

Sephiroth: so my entire strat hinges on getting weapons cloaking

Sephiroth: which is probably a bad strat

Dog G6: lol

Sephiroth: but the mother ship will eat me otherwise

Dog G6: I think you’re probably gonna be the main dude of the series

Dog G6: you’re gonna be the David Tennant xD

Sephiroth: rut roh shaggy

Sephiroth: sorry I’m not better looking

Dog G6: Volatar might be playing it a lot as well

Sephiroth: … or funnier

Dog G6: lol

Dog G6: I mean of course I’m in all of them cuz I’m sneaky

Dog G6: I guess maybe that makes you like Rose Tyler or something then

Dog G6: rofl

Dog G6: okay I stfu now

Dog G6: gotta kill Lanius

Dog G6: I bought missiles

Dog G6: as that’s the only way I’m taking down shields

Dog G6: until I get a better weapon

Dog G6: ASTEROID FIELD

Dog G6: NUUU

Dog G6: OH GOOD THEY DRONE HACKED MEH WEAPONZ

Sephiroth: seems reasonable

Dog G6: Next vendetta: Lanius

Dog G6: oh all my shots miss but none of theirs do

Dog G6: they just took out piloting, weapons and shields with one streak

Dog G6: I need to just jump

Dog G6: I need to survive long enough

Dog G6: to just yolowarp

Dog G6: faster than yolo

Sephiroth: kriss kross couldn’t have been wrong

Dog G6: COULD YOU MISS ONE SHOT K PLZ LANIUS TY UPVOTE /R/LANIUSSUX4EVER

Dog G6: one silo took out half my hull

Dog G6: no shields, weapons, medbay, doors

Dog G6: damaged engine

Dog G6: all one shot

Dog G6: you know what screw Slugs

Dog G6: dey be EZ mode relative to Carl Sagan the Lanius here

Dog G6: OH AND NOW THEY’RE JUMPING

Dog G6: NO NOW YOU DIE

Dog G6: IM THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE RUNNING

Dog G6: jumping to an already explored sector

Dog G6: good thing I got a rock

Dog G6: cuz there’s fire and I got no doors

Dog G6: gotta make repairs

Sephiroth: take care of business, rocks on the ship

Sephiroth: i just got a teleporter

Dog G6: nice

Sephiroth: now they are boarding me

Dog G6: lol

Sephiroth: nothing like saying ha ha, glad you made that investment

Sephiroth: jerks

Dog G6: supposed to work the other way around lol

Dog G6: they should at least give you like a complimentary board

Dog G6: to their ship

Dog G6: a trial boarding period

Sephiroth: pro tip

Sephiroth: turn O2 back on after you kill boarding party

Dog G6: more pro tip: don’t take dog seriously ever

Dog G6: oh yeah that’s a good one too

Sephiroth: ha

Dog G6: oh they said “prepare to meet your maker” I thought they said “prepare to meet your wanker”

Dog G6: I was like “wtf lewd brit rebel here?!”

Dog G6: attacking a slaver ship now

Dog G6: whoa their beam went thru my shields

Dog G6: how

Dog G6: I want that beam

Dog G6: got a Zoltan liberated from them

Dog G6: name is Jack

Dog G6: he’s gonna provide backup to weapons system with his power

Sephiroth: worst last stand map ever

Sephiroth: all repair nodes other side of map

Sephiroth: going to have to defend base

Dog G6: lol

Dog G6: whoa does Zoltan counteract decharge drones?

Dog G6: or hack drones or whatever?

Dog G6: hmmm maybe not nvm

Dog G6: might’ve just been the low power

Dog G6: idk

Sephiroth: hax and lies

Dog G6: they have drones giving their shields reinforcement

Dog G6: dammit I’m not getting any scrap this sector

Dog G6: I swear FTL gets more hax everytime I play it

Dog G6: xD

Dog G6: like “YOU SHOULD’VE GOTTEN BETTER AT THE GAME SOONER EH?”

Dog G6: and then if I get thru their reinforcement they decharge my weapons

Dog G6: but they can’t get thru my shields

Dog G6: I want that scrap

Dog G6: guess Imma be actually grinding here xD

Sephiroth: you need that scarp

Dog G6: I need that carp

Dog G6: fry it up

Dog G6: I’m trying to use my burst laser to take down reinforcement then try and wedge a missile in there

Dog G6: that’s the only way imma get a hand on them

Dog G6: I think the Zoltan actually cuts their hacking short

Dog G6: they can decharge my weapons for a sec with their drone

Dog G6: but then it stops

Dog G6: AND THEY REPAIRED THE SHIELD ALREADY

Sephiroth: game faces on, mother ship is bringing the hurt

Dog G6: “Next year on FTL: Like if You Die Everytime, Artyom has 7,349 levels of shield experience”

Sephiroth: lol, seems reasonable and balanced

Dog G6: if a laser can just be timed to hit their drone

Dog G6: then I should be able to get thru their shields

Dog G6: just try and do that

Dog G6: IT STOPPED RIGHT WHERE MY LAZOR WAS FIRING AND I HIT IT

Dog G6: oh now they’re warping hell no

Dog G6: clever timing for decharge

Dog G6: they were about to die too

Dog G6: there they go

Dog G6: I wish you could follow them

Dog G6: and beat the fishsack out of them

Dog G6: I WASTED ALL OF MY MISSILES ON YOU

Dog G6: STAY HERE AND BURN NAO

Dog G6: gruuaugh

Sephiroth: i never role missiles

Sephiroth: so powerful

Sephiroth: unti you run out

Sephiroth: … by sector 2

Dog G6: so essentially that entire sector

Sephiroth: phase 1 moship dead

Dog G6: was me doing nothibng

Sephiroth: getting ready for phase 2

Dog G6: so now I’m a sector behind

Dog G6: and am going to deal with 3 shield stuff

Dog G6: with only the ability for one shield

Dog G6: good

Dog G6: I should be playing Engi anyways

Dog G6: to unlock the next ship

Dog G6: I was hoping to get a quest ship

Sephiroth: i just unlocked B tonight

Dog G6: but that’s not gonna happen

Sephiroth: that was my goal

Sephiroth: but might as well go to beat game

Dog G6: B is wierd

Dog G6: but cool

Dog G6: you’ll see

Dog G6: lol you now have everything I have and more

Dog G6: to be fair you’re playing on easy

Dog G6: and I’m not

Dog G6: but that’s a cheap way to make myself feel better

Sephiroth: cheap and accurate

Dog G6: *facedesk* now there’s a 3 shield lanius ship with 4 weapons here

Dog G6: and missiles

Dog G6: I might as well just go start a new game now huh

Dog G6: xD

Dog G6: glad my shots never hit

Dog G6: I’m so happy about that

Dog G6: if they hit

Dog G6: I’d be sad

Dog G6: and disappoint

Dog G6: I actually killed them

Dog G6: and got 100 scrap

Dog G6: so I can die with it cuz no stores xD

Dog G6: i dead

Dog G6: oh good they shoot an entire salvo at my dead ship

Sephiroth: a moment of silence

Sephiroth: final engagement

Sephiroth: boarding parties coming

Dog G6: IMMA !@#$ DEM LANIUSES UP

Sephiroth: going max door

Dog G6: engi time

Dog G6: I like me some drones

Sephiroth: victory!

Dog G6: man having like at least two drones, flak, a beam weapon and a cheap ion would be amazing for an engi

Sephiroth: i rolled double engi

Sephiroth: double ion

Sephiroth: rather

Sephiroth: had pike and drones

Dog G6: you could just smash into a flagship with that

Dog G6: sigh imma catch you just playing normal

Dog G6: probably not

Dog G6: I”ll catch you once we both have every ship in the game more like it xD

Sephiroth: lol

Sephiroth: i might up to normal soon

Sephiroth: if I’m man enough

Sephiroth: alright

Sephiroth: bed time

Dog G6: gnight seth brogan

Dog G6: lol

Dog G6: nite

Sephiroth: ha

Be sure to join us next week for more pew pew and rampant Tabasco sauce in the medbay! Like and follow (via WordPress) and/or subscribe (via email) if you enjoyed this. Do it for Cubbin.