The part that interests me the most — and I imagine others as well — isn’t that Ms. Grant, who is in my opinion quite striking, is 46. It’s that she looks 46. And not just Hollywood’s version of 46. Gabrielle Union, Eva Mendes, Penélope Cruz and Victoria Beckham are also in their mid-40s, but money, trainers and sure , good genes might have you think otherwise at a glance.

Would we have had the same fawning reaction had Mr. Reeves stepped out with one of them? At the LACMA Art and Film Gala on Saturday, Ms. Grant was showcasing a luminescent smile and what appears to be her natural, silver-gray hair. Also to my delight: a few noticeable wrinkles — a rarity in Los Angeles.

No, she’s not his age. But if I’m being honest in a way that perhaps verges on impolite, she looks like she could be close to it. And that matters. A few years ago, you’d never catch me writing about a woman’s ability to “pass” for her age , but now as I’ve entered my 30s and have a few lines of my own that even fillers can’t reach, I’d love to stop thinking of the discussion around women and getting older as a transgression .

After all, don’t all adults walk around this earth looking plus or minus a few years of our actual age?

A part of me feels decidedly anti-feminist writing about another woman’s appearance, but we don’t move the conversation forward by pretending the natural outward signifiers of age should never be noticed, discussed or even celebrated. I desperately want to see wrinkles and gray hair as an objectively good thing (look at these lovely markings of your full life on this planet!), or at least as a neutral thing, but the truth is I don’t yet. I’m getting married next year, and much as many brides search around for a hair stylist or makeup artist they like, I’ve been comparison-shopping for plastic surgeons who can do my Botox just right.