jearking

convice

In a piece titledJeremy Clarkson talks about nature's battle against extinction and the future of the Top Gear trio. Without further ado, this is how Jezza broke the silence in his most recent column for the tabloid:"I THINK it’s fair to say that nature made a mistake when it invented the dinosaur. It was too big, too violent and with such small and puny arms it was never going to be able to operate heavy machinery or even enjoy a bit of special “me” time." Pretty easy to understand, but we haven't even got to the most tear-part yet.“All the dinosaurs died and now, years later, no-one mourns their passing. These big, imposing creatures have no place in a world which has moved on.” What these two lines point at is the dying of Top Gear as a show and how the presenter will have to move on.Despite 880,000-plus signatures for the #BringBackClarkson petition, Jezza suggests that all our efforts were in vain: “You can start as many campaigns as you like and call on the support of politicians from all sides, but the day must come when you have to wave goodbye to the big monsters, and move on.”This is the end and we can't do anything about it...Fingers crossedand Clarkson willMay and Hammond to start a new motoring show from square one. It will be hard to convince those two to jump on the bandwagon, but it won't be impossible.Even if not for May and Hammond, if Jeremy will make a pay-per-view YouTube channel and continue filming car reviews, it'll still be enough to soothe our fevered petrolhead brows. Best of luck, Jezza!

UPDATE: Captain Slow confirmed that Top Gear is kaput in a not-so-cryptic manner in two tweets. It's quite surprising that he quotes a very dramatic song from 1980s act The Smiths. Then he changes to The Fall's A Lot Of Wind, a song about "Fred the Weather Man" from Granada TV. Fred Talbot has been convicted of indecently assaulting two teenage boys.UPDATE 2:

The Mirror reports that "Jeremy Clarkson called Top Gear producer Oisin Tymon 'a lazy Irish ****," and that "Clarkson ranted for half an hour then punched him in the mouth - he was bleeding and dizzy so he had to go to hospital." In related Jeremy Clarkson news, bbc.co.uk was offline this afternoon, possibly because digital protest group Anonymous threatened an attack on the site a few days ago.UPDATE 3

: Clarkson was reportedly involved in filming for BBC rival Channel 4, with a new "Full Throttle" show on its way. Unfortunately, this post-BBC escape route won't materialize for Clarkson. When we asked Tom Ford if he is "working on a new "Full Throttle" show for Channel 4 as @stevebrisbane1 suggested?," the motoring journalist replied with "no, it's utter bollocks."UPDATE 4

: Perry McCarthy (the Black Stig) seems to have jumped the fracas bandwagon. He shoots a big one straight at the BBC on Twitter.UPDATE 5

: here are Jeremy Clarkson’s most controversial moments during his 27-year stay at the BBC.UPDATE 6

: the Irish produced was punched by Clarkson. Captain Power tried to land a second blow, but Hammond and May fortunately stopped him. Subsequently, Oisin Tymon went to the Friarage Hospital in Northallerton seeking medical attention “after feeling dizzy.”UPDATE 7:

Jeremy Clarkson is set to host How I Got News For You on April 24th, while the Labour MP is against Jezza's return on the BBC.UPDATE 8

: BBC Director-General Tony Hall on Jeremy Clarkson: "I will gather the facts and make my decision based on a whole raft of things." Can you feel how much pressure is on Hall at the moment?UPDATE 9:

Jeremy Clarkson lawyers up for that Savile- esque allegation , while James May says he's #unemployed on Twitter.UPDATE 10:

Richard Hammond is active on Twitter as well.UPDATE 11

: Top Gear Series 22 Episode 10 has been pulled from the TV schedules in favor of Caribbean with Simon Reeve.UPDATE 12

: James May's Twitter account description reads "Former TV presenter, only remembered for saying 'Oh cock.' Or was that the other bloke?"UPDATE 13:

May and Hammond refuse to continue filming Top Gear without Jeremy Clarkson.UPDATE 14:

BBC Scotland Director Ken MacQuarie is now “considering the evidence” of the Jeremy Clarkson fracas. Expect an announcement early next week.UPDATE 15:

the fracas was allegedly followed by a (not so convincing) face-to-face apology attempt.UPDATE 16:

this is the end. Jeremy Clarkson: "I'll do one last lap of Top Gear track before f****** b******* sack me... the BBC has f***** themselves... It was a great show and they've f***** it up."



UDATE 17: Check out the video below. That's a friggin' tank near the Broadcasting House in London!UPDATE 18:

Jeremy has something in store for us.UPDATE 19

: "Protest never works... because we are all plankton. And the world is run by whales."UPDATE 20:

While JC says that he's "been put on silence," the BBC is filming a new motoring show.UPDATE 21:

Jeremy Clarkson in today's Sunday Times: "I used to work on a television show called Top Gear..."UPDATE 22:

James May is #StillUnemployed on Twitter.UPDATE 23:

“Top Gear Live regrets to inform ticket holders for next week’s shows in Stavanger, Norway, that we will be postponing all four performances, with rescheduled dates for later this year to be confirmed within the next fortnight,” declared a spokesman for the event for The Guardian. “We sincerely apologise for the inconvenience this will cause fans and we will endeavour to contact all ticket holders directly to inform them of the change of date.”



UPDATE 24: Tony Hall, the BBC Director-General, declared today: "It is with great regret that I have told Jeremy Clarkson today that the BBC will not be renewing his contract. It is not a decision I have taken lightly. I have done so only after a very careful consideration of the facts and after personally meeting both Jeremy and Oisin Tymon." Furthermore, “the BBC must now look to renew Top Gear for 2016.” It’s game over, unfortunately, and to the disappointment of Jalopnik and Road&Track, LOL.UPDATE 25:

a summary of the Jeremy Clarkson investigation's findings can be found here.UPDATE 26:

James May has something to say about the whole fracas fiasco in the following video.UPDATE 27:

According to The Sunday Times, Jeremy Clarkson feels hopeful about the future: "I think the concept of commercial-free broadcasting is a good one and — whisper it here — I think it’s good value too.”

UPDATE 28: James and Richard allegedly declined to renew their BBC contracts.

UPDATE 29: Top Gear Live is dead. Long live Clarkson, Hammond and May Live.





OH MY GOD!! I can't go in to it at the moment but you CANNOT believe and won't guess what those idiots at the BBC have done! I am shocked. — Perry McCarthy (@original_stig) March 14, 2015





So; it's been a week, and still no answer. How exactly do you pronounce 'fracas'? — James May (@MrJamesMay) March 14, 2015



Still, as we know from Morrissey, there is a light that never goes out. Still not sure where this is going. #ThePleasureThePrivilegeIsMine — James May (@MrJamesMay) March 16, 2015

Seriously, if you really are unemployed, good luck to you. It's not funny in reality. — James May (@MrJamesMay) March 18, 2015





True > “@ArlingtonTalent: Looking for work for our new office boy @MrJamesMay pic.twitter.com/N2OEGDBpbH” — James May (@MrJamesMay) March 19, 2015





#jeremyclarkson auctions off a final lap of the top gear track for £100,000 at london's round house — Rosie Tomkins (@RosieTomkinsCNN) March 20, 2015





I believe we'll hear from BBC re #JeremyClarkson and #TopGear this afternoon. Sadly, I don't have high hopes but I do hope I'm wrong — Perry McCarthy (@original_stig) March 20, 2015





A tank arrives at the BBC with a petition filled with one million signatures! #stig #topgear #JeremyClarkson pic.twitter.com/COnpfe7ESl — BlairBarnette (@BlairBarnette) March 20, 2015





Many many thanks to all of the people who have called for my reinstatement. I'm very touched. We shall all learn next week what will happen. — Jeremy Clarkson (@JeremyClarkson) March 20, 2015



Woodwork tasks today. Being jobless allows you to revisit old interests, learn new things, and listen to the radio more. Sold the telly. #SU — James May (@MrJamesMay) March 22, 2015

Excellent Early Music Show on Radio 3 at 2 o'clock. They's gonna get mediaeval on yo ass. #Radio #StillUnemployed — James May (@MrJamesMay) March 22, 2015



