This comic carries a lot of truth: we really did have a master controller covered in tape that required the use of your feet in order to work properly, we really did play until 2am every Friday night like clockwork, and we really did miss our prom. To say we were obsessed wouldn’t really be the right expression. We were a bunch of nerds who found a game that helped us pass the time, and we became the best in the world at it.

But, it’s difficult to show what really went on for the years our high school “group” played Smash Bros. 64. There is a lot we wanted to put in this 3-part comic marathon, but simply couldn’t fit it.

For example, we always pressed the game to the limit, as you would expect from teenage rebels trapped in a virtual polygon world. Often we’d spend time beating two characters to 200% in a crevice where they couldn’t die, and then make them fight each other in the open for the pleasure of our watching. If they died too fast, we’d get upset. It wasn’t unlike the gladiator battles of old: die, and die for our entertainment, or we’ll throw stale bread at your corpse.

I invented a combo, and I named it after myself. One of our friends insists he invented it before me, but it didn’t matter; I gave it a catchy name and it stuck. We also used a tactic with Kirby that involved sucking up an enemy right on the edge of the stage, and then spitting them underneath it. Some fighters, like Ness, just can’t come back from that. I like to think that we were the first to ever think of this technique.

We had specific characters we would play the most. I used Pikachu. If you don’t know, Pikachu is a one button character: you smash the ‘R’ button, and he delivers the win, every time. ‘R’ just happened to be both attack in the air, and grab on the ground. I won a lot; I’d like to say, I won the most. But I never denied that Pikachu was a cheesy character. I think he was put in for crappy players who don’t know what they’re doing, but I don’t care. All I care about is being the best.