You got…

Never mind these two, you're the real Special One

You're the best thing since sliced bread

You're world class at guessing quotes but could you guess them on a wet night in Stoke?

You're rapidly becoming the first name on the teamsheet

Work on your consistency and you'll be more than just a useful squad player

You've got promise. But then so did Michael Ricketts

'Championship? You're having a laugh' ... Maybe League One if you can make it to the play-offs

A loan spell at Hartlepool is calling you (and not even Jeff Stelling is happy about it)

Have you considered another sport?

There's a strange kind of glory in all this

Go home and think long and hard about your behaviour