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Dear Dan,

Hi. It's you from the future. You're over two decades older; don't worry, you've grown even more handsome and charming with age. I'm proud to announce you married a Victoria's Secret model, and the two of you retired to the Caribbean.

But that's not why I'm sending you this message. I'm emailing you via a Cayman Island IP, because the U.S. government - now employing one out of every two citizens - monitors all emails now. Wondering how I'm sending an email back in time? One word: GoogleTime.

Emailing back in time is not some new thing. Google came out with it in 2013. But today, Internet companies such as Google don't really innovate anymore. You see, back in your time - January 2012 - the Internet was free and open. Those were the good old days.

The Internet was the Wild West, and it worked. Smartphones, tablet computers, Twitter, Facebook, Google, eBay, Craigslist, Amazon, Skype - they were all the result of free wealthy venture capitalists and risk-taking entrepreneurs.

Unfortunately, the government just had to intervene. What's left of the Internet is censored now.

Initially, it was to "stop online piracy." I'm sure you remember the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and the Protect International Property Act (PIPA) and how sites such as Wikipedia went dark on Jan. 18, 2012, to raise awareness about how damaging federal regulation can be to the future of the Internet.

These protest efforts were successful - initially. SOPA and PIPA were shot down, after even some congressional sponsors withdrew their support. But watered-down versions eventually found their way to Congress, slowly expanding the federal government's Internet regulatory powers.

At first, just the true copyright infringers were targeted. Sites such as The Pirate Bay came down. But the powers expanded as they were abused. Now the U.S. government just censors sites it doesn't like.

Today, Google only gives you preapproved search results (well, for members of Google Gold only - it has taxes and lobbyists to pay.) The only videos on YouTube are campaign ads and military recruitment videos. Wikipedia is regularly combed to weed out any anti-American material. If you want access to any semblance of what the Internet once was, you have to become a pirate yourself and turn to the underground Internet. Just don't get caught using the underground Internet to criticize the United States; you'll be sent to the salt mines of New Alaska.

Oh, and Internet services run you about $50,000 a month now. I'll email you about inflation soon.

Of course, we know in 2035 that sending warnings back in time doesn't work. We've done it a thousand times already. If our emails worked, they would have rallied the people of 2012 to fight every possible Internet regulation - from SOPA and PIPA to slippery, vague laws - and there would be no need in 2035 to send back emails in the first place. It's a time-travel paradox we simply can't get around.

But even more difficult to circumvent is this fundamental law of the universe: If the people do not exert more power over their government, the government will exert more power over its people.

So why email you? I decided it can't hurt.

Plus I had to tell you about the Victoria's Secret model. Awesome.

Sincerely,

You.

Dan Kenitz of Milwaukee is a freelance writer. Email comments@dankenitz.com