The news of Louisiana’s obsession with creationism is making that stupid state globally famous. It’s now a hot topic in Scotland. In the Sunday Herald of Glasgow we read How American fundamentalist schools are using Nessie to disprove evolution. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

It sounds like a plot dreamed up by the creators of Southpark, but it’s all true: schoolchildren in Louisiana are to be taught that the Loch Ness monster is real in a bid by religious educators to disprove Darwin’s theory of evolution.

Seriously, dear reader, is that not the ultimate in creationist idiocy? It’s true that we’re talking about Louisiana, a state where virtually the entire legislature is retarded — but even so, how did something that stupid slip into the public schools? Let’s read on:

Thousands of children in the southern state will receive publicly-funded vouchers for the next school year to attend private schools where Scotland’s most famous mythological beast will be taught as a real living creature.

Okay, it’s not literally in the public schools — at least not yet. But it’s quasi-public, because it’s supported by taxpayer-financed vouchers for private schools. Something similar is in the works in Florida (see Florida Theocracy Amendment Gets Support).

This scheme amounts to the government handing out food stamps for the brain — but the stamps are only good for buying garbage. We continue:

These private schools follow a fundamentalist curriculum including the Accelerated Christian Education (ACE) programme to teach controversial religious beliefs aimed at disproving evolution and proving creationism. One tenet has it that if it can be proved that dinosaurs walked the earth at the same time as man then Darwinism is fatally flawed.

Here’s some information about Accelerated Christian Education. Back to the newspaper:

One ACE textbook – Biology 1099, Accelerated Christian Education Inc – reads: “Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the ‘Loch Ness Monster’ in Scotland? ‘Nessie’ for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur.”

Great textbook, huh? That’s what your tax dollars are paying for in Louisiana. Moving along:

Jonny Scaramanga, 27, who went through the ACE programme as a child, but now campaigns against Christian fundamentalism, said the Nessie claim was presented as “evidence that evolution couldn’t have happened. The reason for that is they’re saying if Noah’s flood only happened 4000 years ago, which they believe literally happened, then possibly a sea monster survived. “If it was millions of years ago then that would be ridiculous. That’s their logic. It’s a common thing among creationists to believe in sea monsters.”

Are you wondering what maniacal politician is responsible for this? Here you go:

Private religious schools, including the Eternity Christian Academy in Westlake, Louisiana, which follows the ACE curriculum, have already been cleared to receive the state voucher money transferred from public school funding, thanks to a bill pushed through by state Governor Bobby Jindal.

Of course — it’s the state’s ambition-crazed governor, Bobby Jindal, the Exorcist. But Louisiana’s lunacy — although it dooms the students of that state to a life of drooling idiocy — may be good news for Scotland. Here’s another excerpt:

Of course, the Scottish tourist industry might well reap a dividend from the craziness of the American education system. Nessie expert Tony Drummond, who leads tours as part of Cruise Loch Ness, has a few words of advice to the US schools in question: come to the loch and try to find the monster.

It’s a long article, and quite informative. Click over to the Sunday Herald. and read it all. Then get busy digging that bomb shelter and stockpiling dried food and ammo. The end of civilization may be coming sooner than you thought.

Update: See Creationists Abandon Loch Ness Monster?

• • • • • • • • • • •

. . Permalink for this article