According to a story by NPR's This American Life, the 125-year old top-secret Coca-Cola Classic recipe was accidentally leaked in the photo accompanying a 1979 Atlanta newspaper article about the soda giant, but nobody noticed it until now. You're going down, Coke! Well, as soon as this last batch of bathtub gin finishes fermenting. THEN IT IS ON. Same goes for you, Fanta! You think I won't make some bomb-ass tastin' grape soda? I LIVE FOR THAT SHIT!

And while companies like Pepsi have deduced the general ingredients on their own, none have unlocked the "Merchandise 7X flavoring" that gives Coke its unique taste and bubbly burn. "The company has always said, and as far as I know it's true, that at any given time only two people know how to mix the 7X flavoring ingredient," Mark Pendergrast, historian and author of For God, Country and Coke told This American Life. "Those two people never travel on the same plane in case it crashes; it's this carefully passed-on secret ritual and the formula is kept in a bank vault."

The recipe: Fluid extract of Coca: 3 drams USP

Citric acid: 3 oz

Caffeine: 1 oz

Sugar: 30 (unclear quantity)

Water: 2.5 gal

Lime juice: 2 pints, 1 quart

Vanilla: 1 oz

Caramel: 1.5 oz or more for color The secret 7X flavor (use 2 oz of flavor to 5 gals syrup):

Alcohol: 8 oz

Orange oil: 20 drops

Lemon oil: 30 drops

Nutmeg oil: 10 drops

Coriander: 5 drops

Neroli: 10 drops

Cinnamon: 10 drops

Alcohol, huh? No wonder I like it so much. Of course, I'd like it even more if half the can was bourbon. Which, at least the way I drink them, actually are. You think I can't pour Maker's Mark into a Coke can? Oh I can pour Maker's into a Coke can. It's called a steady hand funnel. Remember: where there's a will (and drinlkling problem), there's a way. Plus a long history of drunk in publics. OCCIFER NOOOO!

Is This the Real Thing? Coca-Cola's Secret Formula 'Discovered' [time]

Thanks to The Superficial Writer, who used to have the secret family recipe to Bush's Baked Beans but lost it in a drinking contest. Well technically I stole it during a drinking contest, the point is it's mine now. MY HEART NEVER HAD IT SO GOOD.