Brooklyn may be the most unaffordable place in America; burgeoning Queens may be the second pair of socks on the proverbial wet hike that is NYC real estate; but dollar for dollar, Manhattan remains the king of unaffordable condos and co-ops that make your heart shudder with impotent rage.

CityRealty has released their 2014 year-end report for Manhattan, which includes lots of chilling statistics that definitely don't feel like the real estate market is taunting God to incinerate their decadence. The average price of a Manhattan apartment reached a record $1.8 million this year, up from $1.5 million in 2013, and up from the previous record $1.6 million in 2008. The average price of a condo increased from $2 million in 2013 to a new all-time high of $2.4 million this year.

There were more than $22 billion in total sales, one of nine jaw-dropping, record-breaking statistics for the borough. That includes apartment sales of $10 million and up hitting an all-time high, with total sales on pace to hit $3.8 billion, more than doubling last year's number and besting the $3.3 billion record set in 2008.

The two most expensive co-ops in Manhattan history were also sold this year, at 960 Fifth Avenue in May for $70 million and then a few months later with a $71.3 million sale at 740 Park Avenue. You don't live in either of these apartment, but perhaps you have read about them online. They are the ultimate safe havens for people for aspiring oligarchs.

Everything is too expensive, it's only getting more expensive, developers are drunk on power, and the skyline will soon look like something out of SimCity3000. The real estate bubble is bound to burst eventually—but in the meantime, a human being can't live inside a hollow sphere with an iridescent surface, and they certainly can't order Seamless to one, so we should all just accept our lots in life and move to Staten Island already. Or we could take a page from a divorced dad and start living out of our van.