Game Week: Purdue (2013)

Purdue? Really? I looked Purdue up to find some stuff out and got so bored that I switched to my Twitter tab 8 times before I finished one article about their stupid team. I also keep mistyping it as “Purude” because I clearly just do not care about this team.

You know when you’re on an airplane and you realize it’s two hours until you land and your iPad is out of batteries and the bathroom’s too far away and you’ve already laughed at everything in Skymall? So you decide to read the in-flight magazine because it’s either that or gnaw off your own arm?

Purdue is the in-flight magazine of the 2013 schedule.

Feel free to unfasten your seatbelt. God, they are terrible. Which of course means we’re going to lose. Okay we probably won’t. I was pretty encouraged by our performance against Illinois. Is that a sentence I ever thought I’d have to type? No. But that’s a decent offense and the Huskers were able to dictate a lot of the game to them. Also Tommy Armstrong is smoother than Carl Pelini at last call.

So let’s see if the kid can take the show on the road. I’ll bet he can. But in the back of everyone’s mind will be the sad realization that they’re depriving the T-Magic of his favorite passtime. (Trivia alert: that quote was referred to me by a friend before I ever started TWOS, and it is almost single-handedly responsible for inspiring the Taylor Martinez character).

This week in the Tunnel: Tim Beck speaks in code, Tommy is visited by the ghosts of quarterbacks past and Drake and Taylor will give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off their property. Follow TWOS on Twitter, and please note that there will be no comic next week because it’s another bye week because God hates us.

Let’s do this: