A bombastic showdown between trash-talking, larger-than-life characters battling in a scripted pantomime will draw a big television viewership tonight.

The scripted brouhaha on CNN will feature an intergender battle between an arrogant billionaire and a conniving, power-hungry pantsuit, making for a rare heel-versus-heel match.

A leaked script of the debacle reveals that the orange-skinned billionaire will emerge victorious after hitting his opponent with a podium when the moderator’s back is turned.

Tonight’s showdown is the first in a best-of-three series, culminating on November 8 at Electamania, when one performer will climb a ladder to grab a briefcase dangling from the Oval Office ceiling, which contains the U.S. Constitution.

The winner will be named General Manager of America.

In unrelated news, WWE Raw airs at 9pm EST. Rusev will face Roman Reigns or something.