This is audio from a make-believe series of relaxation tapes for humans the Daleks produced while absent from the Dr. Who series. They...are not very relaxing. I made some chamomile tea, ran a bath with aromatic bath salts and made sure to breath real heavy like a creeper and I am STILL not relaxed. Shit, I just spent five minutes yelling at the mailman for bringing me paper bills even though I always view and pay them all online! You know what he said to me? Why don't you sign up for paperless billing? That's when I let my dog bite him. Paperless billing, please -- what is this, the future? Oooooooh, a new Victoria's Secret catalog.

Hit the jump and get your deep breathing on.

The Dalek Relaxation Tape (by Peter Serafinowicz) [boingboing]

Thanks to Mih0 and Joshua, who relax the old fashioned way: with morphine. Let me try th-- oh man this is great, I could just do this forever. *eyes roll back in head, NEVER TO RETURN*