Bradley Manning wishing he’d just shot an unarmed black teenager

Bradley Manning was today jailed for 35 years for leaking classified documents to the Wikileaks website, before admitting he wished he’d just got his kicks shooting black kids.

Pte First Class Bradley Manning, 25, was convicted in July of 20 charges against him, including espionage, but was not charged with the far lesser crime of killing an unarmed black teenager.

Manning spoke to reporters after the hearing, to admit his disappointment at the sentence, telling those gathered, “I look back to that fateful day and wish I’d just left those files on my computer and gone out and shot some neighbourhood black kid instead.”

“I tell you now, my life would be a lot less complicated if I’d only taken the life of a young person from a different ethnic background, instead of sending some documents to a website.”

“I am sure that for the rest of my days I will rue the decision to send some emails to a journalist, and not to go outside to chase and kill an unarmed black teenager.”

Bradley Manning sentenced

Legal experts have expressed support for the 35 year sentence given to Manning, by explaining that members of the public don’t actually understand how the law works.

Former lawyer Simon Williams explained, “Illegally taking information you don’t have the right to access, and using it for your own purposes is only ‘properly’ illegal if you’re not a government agency.”

“Governments can do what they like with all sorts of information they gather illegally and that they’re not actually allowed to have – if nothing else, Prism has taught us that.”

“Whereas absolutely anyone can shoot a black teenager to death, obviously.”