To view past editions of The Hill's 12:30 Report, click here: http://bit.ly/1M1mIfw

To receive The Hill's 12:30 Report in your inbox, please sign up here: http://bit.ly/1Tt4hqN

--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report -- Presented by Nareit -- Buttigieg closes in on Biden, Warren in Iowa | Republicans to hold censure vote on Schiff | What to know about impeachment inquiry this week | Romney confirms secret 'Pierre Delecto' Twitter account | State Department morale at new low | Potatoes thrown at US troops leaving Syria | Four drug companies settle in opioid lawsuit | Bride picks grandmothers as flower girls

TALK OF THE MORNING

The name's Pierre. Pierre Delecto.:

Sen. Mitt Romney Willard (Mitt) Mitt RomneyCrenshaw looms large as Democrats look to flip Texas House seat The Hill's Morning Report - Sponsored by Facebook - Republicans lawmakers rebuke Trump on election Trump dumbfounds GOP with latest unforced error MORE (R-Utah) appeared to confirm the name of his secret Twitter account after it was discovered by Slate's Ashley Feinberg. http://bit.ly/2VYQT5a

HOW DID THIS EVEN BECOME A THING?:

The Atlantic's McKay Coppins published a profile of Romney yesterday where Romney acknowledged having a private Twitter account to keep tabs on the news. Romney told The Atlantic: "I won't give you the name of it," Romney said, but "I'm following 668 people." Read The Atlantic profile on Romney: http://bit.ly/2VX0jOO

So Slate's Feinberg dug it up: "This Sure Looks Like Mitt Romney's Secret Twitter Account (Update: It Is): Meet 'Pierre Delecto.' " Check out some screenshots of Romney's secret tweets: http://bit.ly/32z0pyH

Who Romney follows: "This account joined the site in July of 2011, just one month after Romney announced his run for president. The majority of people it follows are either political reporters, politicians, political operatives, or pundits. Though it also follows noted big redhead from Boston Conan O'Brien. Pierre Delecto appears to be a fan of the late-night hosts Jimmy Kimmel James (Jimmy) Christian KimmelFauci, Black Lives Matter founders included on Time's 100 Most Influential People list Kimmel-hosted Emmy Awards attract all-time low 6.1M viewers: 'Well, we set a record' Bubba Wallace to be driver of Michael Jordan, Denny Hamlin NASCAR team MORE and Jimmy Fallon, too, as well as current and former NFL players Tom Brady and Brett Favre, respectively."

Then McKay Coppins asked Romney if that is truly his account: "C'est moi," Romney responded. Aha!

It's Monday. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

Did someone forward this to you? Want your own copy? Sign up here to receive The Hill's 12:30 Report in your inbox daily: http://bit.ly/2kjMNnn

IN THE WHITE HOUSE

Interesting read -- State Department officials need a morale boost:

Via The Hill's Reid Wilson, "the Trump administration's perennial push for steep budget cuts, an exodus of senior staffers with decades of experience and constant allegations that agency employees represent a deep state has sent morale at the State Department to an unprecedented low." http://bit.ly/2oQZlaR

Oh and: "On top of that, President Trump Donald John TrumpFederal prosecutor speaks out, says Barr 'has brought shame' on Justice Dept. Former Pence aide: White House staffers discussed Trump refusing to leave office Progressive group buys domain name of Trump's No. 1 Supreme Court pick MORE has fired a senior diplomat after a whisper campaign mounted by his personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani Rudy GiulianiThe Hill's Campaign Report: GOP set to ask SCOTUS to limit mail-in voting CIA found Putin 'probably directing' campaign against Biden: report Democrats fear Russia interference could spoil bid to retake Senate MORE, and abandoned steadfast allies in the Middle East to fend for themselves on the battlefield at the behest of Turkey's government."

The toll it's taking on diplomats: "Current and former diplomats say the weight of those events is taking a startling and measurable toll on American foreign relations, and on their ability to carry out policy set by the White House."

Doral's no longer dandy:

Via The New York Times's Maggie Haberman Maggie Lindsy HabermanBiden, Pence cross paths at NYC 9/11 ceremony The Hill's 12:30 Report - Presented by Facebook - Trump floats 0M+ in personal spending for reelection bid The Hill's 12:30 Report: Washington reacts to scathing Trump military story MORE, Eric Lipton and Katie Rogers, President Trump reversed course on his plan to host next year's Group of Seven summit at his Doral resort because he did not expect criticism from Republicans. https://nyti.ms/2pBXab0

Over the weekend -- read my lips:

Acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney Mick MulvaneyOn The Money: House panel pulls Powell into partisan battles | New York considers hiking taxes on the rich | Treasury: Trump's payroll tax deferral won't hurt Social Security Blockchain trade group names Mick Mulvaney to board Mick Mulvaney to start hedge fund MORE spent the weekend trying to correct the record about his comments on Ukraine. http://bit.ly/2P5PVTp

What Mulvaney insists: That "he never said the Trump administration expected a quid pro quo linking U.S. aid to Ukraine to Kiev launching investigations into former Vice President Joe Biden Joe BidenFormer Pence aide: White House staffers discussed Trump refusing to leave office Progressive group buys domain name of Trump's No. 1 Supreme Court pick Bloomberg rolls out M ad buy to boost Biden in Florida MORE during a withering interview on 'Fox News Sunday' with Chris Wallace."

Mulvaney says he understands how his comments were taken: "Can I see how people took that the wrong way? Absolutely. But I never said there was a quid pro quo because there isn't."

Watch the back and forth with Chris Wallace Christopher (Chris) WallaceHouse to vote on resolution affirming peaceful transition of power Gayle King calls out Pelosi for calling Trump supporters 'henchmen': 'Egregious language' GOP lawmakers distance themselves from Trump comments on transfer of power MORE: http://bit.ly/35UZTgc

TIDBIT FROM THE INTERVIEW:

Chris Wallace said he "talked to a very well-connected Republican in Washington, someone whose name you would know well, who says that if the House votes to impeach and it gets to a trial in the Senate, there's now a 20 percent chance enough Republicans would vote with Democrats to impeach the president." http://bit.ly/2oQUarq

HAPPENING THIS WEEK

Hold on tight. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.:

MORE IMPEACHMENT INQUIRY WITNESSES:

House Democrats are interviewing more witnesses about Trump's dealings with Ukraine as part of the impeachment inquiry. The gist: "None of the witnesses are household names, but all could have information on the Trump administration's activities in Ukraine -- as well as Trump personal attorney Rudy Giuliani's more informal foreign policy role on behalf of the president." Here's a list and brief primer on this week's witnesses: http://bit.ly/32zRuNo

HOUSE REPUBLICANS LOOK TO REBUKE Adam Schiff Adam Bennett SchiffSchiff to subpoena top DHS official, alleges whistleblower deposition is being stonewalled Schiff claims DHS is blocking whistleblower's access to records before testimony GOP lawmakers distance themselves from Trump comments on transfer of power MORE:

House Republicans are expected to vote this evening to try and formally censure House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) over his handling of the impeachment inquiry. http://bit.ly/2J9DYbH

This morning: President Trump urged Democrats to vote to censure Schiff. He tweeted: "Censure (at least) Corrupt Adam Schiff! After what he got caught doing, any pol who does not so vote cannot be honest....are you listening Dems?" http://bit.ly/2pDSX6N

TRUMP OFFICIALS TO DEFEND SYRIA POLICY:

Trump administration officials are scheduled to testify before the House and Senate to defend the controversial decision to remove U.S. troops in northern Syria.

Elijah Cummings Elijah Eugene CummingsBlack GOP candidate accuses Behar of wearing black face in heated interview Overnight Health Care: US won't join global coronavirus vaccine initiative | Federal panel lays out initial priorities for COVID-19 vaccine distribution | NIH panel: 'Insufficient data' to show treatment touted by Trump works House Oversight Democrats to subpoena AbbVie in drug pricing probe MORE'S FUNERAL:

The late Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-Md.), the former chairman of the House Oversight and Reform Committee who died last week at age 68, will lie in state on Capitol Hill Thursday.

WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING ON CAPITOL HILL THIS WEEK:

Election interference: The House will take up a bill to clamp down on foreign interference in the U.S. elections.

Government funding: Oh yeah, that. After government funding talks stalled, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell Addison (Mitch) Mitchell McConnellDemocratic senator to party: 'A little message discipline wouldn't kill us' House to vote on resolution affirming peaceful transition of power Republican lawyers brush off Trump's election comments MORE (R-Ky.) is trying to focus on spending packages.

Treaties: "The Senate will vote this week on a treaty ratifying Macedonia's membership in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization."

Context and details for each: http://bit.ly/2N2g2I2

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

Pete is scooting his way in:

South Bend, Ind., Mayor Pete Buttigieg Pete ButtigiegBillionaire who donated to Trump in 2016 donates to Biden The Hill's Morning Report - Sponsored by Facebook - GOP closes ranks to fill SCOTUS vacancy by November Buttigieg stands in as Pence for Harris's debate practice MORE is in third place in Iowa, according to a new Suffolk University/USA Today poll. http://bit.ly/2J7j0u0

The numbers: Former Vice President Joe Biden leads with 18 percent, closely followed by Sen. Elizabeth Warren Elizabeth WarrenOvernight Defense: Appeals court revives House lawsuit against military funding for border wall | Dems push for limits on transferring military gear to police | Lawmakers ask for IG probe into Pentagon's use of COVID-19 funds On The Money: Half of states deplete funds for Trump's 0 unemployment expansion | EU appealing ruling in Apple tax case | House Democrats include more aid for airlines in coronavirus package Warren, Khanna request IG investigation into Pentagon's use of coronavirus funds MORE (D-Mass.) with 17 percent. Buttigieg came in third with 13 percent. Sen. Bernie Sanders Bernie SandersSirota reacts to report of harassment, doxing by Harris supporters Republicans not immune to the malady that hobbled Democrats The Hill's Morning Report - Sponsored by Facebook - Republicans lawmakers rebuke Trump on election MORE (I-Vt.) has 9 percent support.

More from the poll: http://bit.ly/2J9a8nw

IN OTHER NEWS THIS MORNING

Potatoes are thrown at U.S. troops leaving Syria:

Via The Associated Press, "Angry over the U.S. withdrawal from Syria, residents of a Kurdish-dominated city pelted departing American military vehicles with potatoes Monday as they drove through." https://yhoo.it/2J9ZtZF

Video of items being thrown at U.S. troops: http://bit.ly/2MXaFKk

Happening next: "Defense Secretary Mark Esper Mark EsperOvernight Defense: Stopgap spending measure awaits Senate vote | Trump nominates former Nunes aide for intelligence community watchdog | Trump extends ban on racial discrimination training to contractors, military Overnight Defense: Pentagon redirects pandemic funding to defense contractors | US planning for full Afghanistan withdrawal by May | Anti-Trump GOP group puts ads in military papers Official: Pentagon has started 'prudent planning' for full Afghanistan withdrawal by May MORE said that U.S. troops will stay in eastern Turkey to protect Kurdish-held oil fields for at least the coming weeks and that he was discussing options to keep them there."

Opioid settlement:

Via The Wall Street Journal's Sara Randazzo, "Four drug companies have reached a $260 million settlement at the last minute to avoid a trial here seeking to blame them for fueling the opioid crisis, attorneys said Monday." https://on.wsj.com/35WsO3Q

The four drug companies: "The country's top drug distributors, McKesson Corp., Cardinal Health Inc. and AmerisourceBergen Corp., agreed to pay $215 million, attorneys said. Teva Pharmaceutical Industries Ltd., an Israel-based manufacturer of medicine, will pay $20 million in cash over the next two years and donate $25 million in addiction-treatment drugs, attorneys said."

SPONSORED CONTENT - NAREIT

Real Estate Investment Trusts are reshaping communities all across America, supporting economic activity and 2.3 million jobs. See why an estimated 87 million Americans invest in REITs. Learn more.

NOTABLE TWEETS

This is great:

The only guy in the world who enjoys his job more than I do pic.twitter.com/ftPvfEK7cP — Demojorgen (@davejorgenson) October 21, 2019

Watch: http://bit.ly/31Cv7Fv

ON TAP

President Trump is in Washington, D.C. Vice President Pence is also in Washington, but is heading to Pennsylvania this afternoon.

11:30 a.m. EDT: President Trump held a Cabinet meeting.

Noon: The House meets.

12:45 p.m. EDT: President Trump has lunch with Vice President Pence.

2:30 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence leaves for Avoca, Pa.

3 p.m. EDT: The Senate meets.

4:15 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence tours SCHOTT North America, Inc. in Pennsylvania.

5:30 p.m. EDT: The Senate votes to invoke cloture on a treaty. The Senate's full schedule today: http://bit.ly/33NZhan

6:30 p.m. EDT: Postponed votes in the House. The House's full schedule today: http://bit.ly/2P6z2I4

7:45 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence gets back to Washington, D.C.

WHAT TO WATCH

10:30 a.m. EDT: Vice President Pence spoke at the 2019 International Astronautical Congress Opening Ceremony in Washington, D.C. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2MxEC4x

4:50 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence gives a speech on trade. Livestream: http://bit.ly/31AjOxA

6:30 p.m. EDT: NBC's Lester Holt's exclusive interview with Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg Mark Elliot ZuckerbergHillicon Valley: Productivity, fatigue, cybersecurity emerge as top concerns amid pandemic | Facebook critics launch alternative oversight board | Google to temporarily bar election ads after polls close Conservative groups seek to block Facebook election grants in four swing states: report Facebook critics launch alternative oversight board MORE airs on "NBC Nightly News."

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Pumpkin Cheesecake Day.

These photos are pretty cute:

A woman asked her three grandmothers and one great-grandmother to be the flower girls at her wedding. http://bit.ly/2pDRRrw

From the photographer -- amazing: " When Lyndsey told me she was having her grandmothers as her flower girls, I was not expecting the level of sass that these girls brought!"

Photos of their matching outfits: http://bit.ly/2pDRRrw

Attention, Disney fans:

Reviews.org is hiring someone to watch 30 Disney movies in 30 days for $1,000. Details: http://bit.ly/35U0Vco

And because this is one of my favorite videos I've seen lately, here are ducks enjoying a makeshift amusement park ride: http://bit.ly/2Mw2cid