As a Mug Club member, I rely on coffee to get me through the morning. Then I read Black Lives Matter was awarded a global peace prize. I've stopped using creamer. I'm now using bleach.

The Sydney Peace Foundation announced last week it will give Black Lives Matter its 2017 peace prize during a ceremony scheduled in November for Sydney. "This is the first time that a movement and not a person has been awarded the peace prize—a timely choice. Climate change is escalating fast, increasing inequality and racism are feeding divisiveness, and we are in the middle of the worst refugee crisis since World War II. Yet many establishment leaders across the world stick their heads in the sand or turn their backs on justice, fairness and equality," the Sydney Peace Foundation said in announcing the award.

It's like people don't have internet access. Memories. Basic motor functions. If they did, they'd be able to use the digits sticking out of their hands to peck a few letters into The Google. Just to verify if Black Lives Matter is worthy of an award bestowment. Like a kind of "vetting" process, if you will. Since the Sydney Peace Foundation lacks finger privilege, I did the search for them.

If this is what the Sydney Peace Foundation considers champions of peace, I'd hate to see what they think war is.

Time for real talk, taking the form of analogous smilies. Black Lives Matter is as peaceful as modern, #SJW fat pride feminists are beautiful. Black Lives Matter is as deserving of a "Global Peace Prize" as Hillary Clinton is deserving of unfettered access to classified material. Black Lives Matter is just as peaceful as Bill Clinton is trustworthy with young interns with big hair. Black Lives Matter is as love and peace spreading as Lena Dunham is nurturing at a crisis pregnancy center. Hide yo' babies.

The truth is, the entire Black Lives Matter movement was founded on lies. Lies continually pushed in order to promote a culture of violence against police officers and the rule of law. They're as interested in truth as Amy Schumer is in telling original jokes. I promise that was my last simile.

So no, Black Lives Matter doesn't deserve an award anymore than a malignant tumor deserves to grow on someone's face. Especially someone with a hot face.

Get the facts.

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