Previously on Drag Race: The producers tried to push the Aquaria vs. Miz Cracker drama, but it quickly turned out Aquaria vs. The Vixen was much, much juicier. Eureka had a serious anxiety attack regarding her knee and performance abilities. And at the end of the day, Kalorie Karbdashian-Williams sashayed away, badonkadonk first.

The ladies get back to the werk room and discuss the winner, Miss Vixen. But Eureka brings up how funny it is that The Vixen won the challenge based on a “Best Drag” outfit composed of a wig that she borrowed from Monique Heart. Aquaria, though, doesn’t find that funny.

Monique, meanwhile, is a little bitter that her great outfits keep landing her either in the safe zone or the bottom. Monét X Change brings up her sponge outfit again, and she has a tiny sponge to accent her point.

The next morning, the ladies are immediately greeted by RuPaul (because werk room table conversations in the morning are so 2017), whose voice sounds oddly different. I think he might have a sore throat, you guys.

For this week’s mini-challenge, the ladies need to film promotional skits for Ru’s new chocolate bar. To do that, they’re going to get into quick drag and act like a new queen on the block who’s trying to get her first gig in showbiz.

First up is Miz Cracker, who starts with an A+ joke about what people call her in Harlem: “What the…?!”

Blair St. Clair, who this entire mini-challenge was practically designed for, kills it with a frantic, terrified tap-dancing session.

Monét X Change pretends to be from “Northern Ireland” and does a jig.

Meanwhile, Monique Heart has pulled out a shockingly perfect British accent.

Blair St. Clair, Monét X Change, and Monique Heart are the three winners of the mini-challenge and thus team leaders for the maxi-challenge of the week. This week, the ladies must create comedy skits advertising dating apps for very peculiar sets of people.

So the team leaders pick their teammates, and the last ones to be picked this time around are Yuhua Hamasaki, Mayhem Miller, and The Vixen.

On Team Fibstr, the dating app for pathological liars, the girls are all brainstorming ideas and making progress… Except for Mayhem Miller, who has just shut down. Possibly because she was last to be picked.

Meanwhile, on Monét’s team, Yuhua Hamasaki is also being a bit problematic—possibly also because she was picked last. It’s a curse today. Yuhua spends the brainstorming sessions suggesting weird things and shooting down Monét’s ideas.

As for the last team, Eureka is being her typical self and will not. Stop. Talking. She suggests a fat joke, then something about people finding each other while bombs fall in the background, and then suggests having a lesbian lover. All in the span of like a minute.

Back on Monique’s team, Kameron Michaels suggests taking the opening narration bit, which was supposed to go to Mayhem Miller. And Mayhem looks unhappy about it, but she’s being so quiet and sulky that she quickly loses the part for not speaking up.

Monét’s team’s app is “Madam Buttrface,” for ladies with bangin’ bodies and horrifying faces. So Aquaria and Asia O’Hara, who are playing two of the three ugly girls, are going really, really ugly, with massive noses and pimples and all that good stuff. But Yuhua Hamasaki, the third ugly girl, is just… doing normal makeup so far. When the girls in her team try to encourage her to go uglier, Yuhua snaps at them. I quote: “I heard it, I heard it, I heard it, I heard it.”

So, exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

The girls are over it.

Monique’s team is first to film their skit, and Monique is taking the leadership role very seriously. She guides the girls through all their parts, and also takes charge of yelling out “action” and “cut,” even during her own bits.

Next, Blair’s team does their thing. They have a slapping gag where Miz Cracker slaps Blair, then Eureka smacks Cracker. Except Eureka doesn’t do fake TV slaps. She whacks the shit out of Cracker’s face.

Finally, the Buttrface girls do their thing. Not only does Yuhua Hamasaki not look ugly enough, her part is also very confusing and not funny at all.

The next day, the queens are getting ready for the runway and Vixen’s borrowed “Best Drag” wig comes up again as a joke. Aquaria jumps in this time, though, and she’s not joking, bitch.

I’m not sure it was very smart of Aquaria to come for the most confrontational, bloodthirsty queen here. Case in point: Vix shuts that down real quick, and is about to completely destroy Aquaria when a big-ass spider on someone’s garment sends the whole room into an uproar, saving Aquaria.

Blair St. Clair talks about the religious aspect of her team’s “End of Days” app, and how religion is a big deal in her family, despite the fact that her mom is her best friend and number one fan.

Dusty Ray Bottoms is happy to see in some cases, religion and acceptance can go hand in hand, because that wasn’t the case for him. As a teenager, when his parents found out about him, they made him go through exorcisms and therapy and having to talk to pastors about boys he’d had sex with. So he packed his things and left and never looked back.

The sadness quickly ends, though, when the Aquaria/Vixen drama starts up again. Vixen is not letting Aquaria breathe from all the reading she’s doing, and it is pretty damn brutal.

It’s main stage time!

Tonight, category is: feathers!

Blair St. Clair’s makeup is a little on the simple side, but her dress and hair are beautiful and she’s carrying herself very eloguently.

Miz Cracker’s gilded cage look with the nest fascinator is gorgeous, and it’s inspired by a beautiful story of a bluebird making a nest on her fire escape the day her friend passed away.

Eureka is mixing the familiar with the bold and new, bringing back a good old hair loaf but combining it with dark, dramatic makeup and eerie-looking contacts. It’s pretty fierce.

The Vixen is going for a fantastic peacock dress, and she is working it out. Notice the dress flourish she manages with her foot in one smooth motion. Werk.

Monique Heart is out here in this glorious, heavenly creation, mopping the floor with her mug and her feathery fabulousness.

Mayhem Miller looks like she belongs in the gayest saloon in the Old West, ready to serve your every sexual need while also murdering visitors in cold blood.

I’ve been watching too much Westworld.

As much as I love Dusty Ray Bottoms (especially since her story earlier), this look is sadly a total boot for me. The eye makeup is really weird, the wig clashes heavily with the outfit, and the clothes themselves are nothing to write home about either. I do like her lip color, though.

Stop everything. Sweet, innocent Kameron Michaels just came out in this crazy, evil, feathery Maleficent lewk that is just perfect from head to toe. I mean, wow. Gagged, gooped, and garbled.

After the ultimate fierceness that was Kameron, Monét X Change’s look feels a little on the basic side. It’s nice! But… not great. I think it might have something to do with how large it makes her shoulders look.

Asia O’Hara has gone full camp with this Tweety Bird lewk and crazy wig. It’s a risk, but she’s pulled it off nicely. It’s literally insane. I love it.

Unfortunately for Yuhua Hamasaki, a couple girls have already gone for the dark raven thing before her tonight, and they did it better. Like Dusty’s, her wig doesn’t really go with the rest of the outfit—and the flowers don’t make sense either.

Aquaria’s Saint Sebastian / wounded bird look is pretty stunning, from the bleeding puncture wounds to the red eye makeup. It’s really well thought-out and tells a complete story. Amazing stuff.

Now for the dating app skits! First up, Blair St. Clair’s “End of Days” app. Even with The Vixen fading into the background a bit, everyone still does an excellent job with the acting here. Blair plays a great innocent virgin, Eureka is sassy and crude, and Miz Cracker goes full demonic.

Team Fibstr features Monique Heart being bubbly and charming and Dusty Ray Bottoms playing a pretty convincing schizophreniac.

However, it also involves a catfishing Kameron Michaels turning out to be Mayhem Miller in a highly perplexing twist.

As for Team Madam Buttrface, Asia O’Hara is a total scene stealer with that ugly-ass face.

Aquaria and Monét X Change do a good job selling the story as well, but Yuhua Hamasaki’s ugly face is super questionable and none of her lines are funny.

This week, RuPaul is doing things a little differently. Not only are the queens being judged individually instead of in teams, but the tops and bottoms are being explicitly listed this time instead of being lumped into one group.

So the top three are Asia O’Hara, Eureka, and Blair St. Clair, while Yuhua Hamasaki, Kameron Michaels, and Mayhem Miller are in the bottom three. Everyone else is safe.

The top and bottom girls get their critiques, and Mayhem Miller says she didn’t think the Kameron/Mayhem switch would work. She namedrops Monique Heart, saying it was likely her fault that this bad decision was made.

Yuhua is told her ugly face was more club kid than butterface and her dialogue was unfunny. Like last week, she talks back a lot and really doesn’t come across as very friendly.

Backstage, in the Untucked lounge, Monique Heart is voicing her concerns about how she suspects one of the girls on her team will be throwing her under the bus on the main stage.

The conversation shifts, once again, to Aquaria and Vixen’s spat. It looks for a minute like they’re going to make peace, but things get aggressive again. Dusty Ray Bottoms chimes in, saying Aquaria’s general attitude, even outside of Drag Race, makes her seem very standoffish. Aquaria, sitting in the middle, is like a feathery rice cooker. The conversation keeps escalating until she breaks.

The Vixen, though, is not having the tears. She pounces, accusing Aquaria of, and I quote, “creating a narrative of ‘I am an angry black woman who has scared off the little white girl.'”

It’s a polarizing comment, and you can tell everyone in the room feels a different way about it.

Here’s the thing: they’re both right, and they’re also both wrong. Is Aquaria, inadvertently or not, putting The Vixen into an “angry black woman” box? Yes, absolutely. She started this, and now she’s making herself look like a victim. And she does realize what that looks like when Vix points it out, which is a good thing. But isn’t The Vixen also putting herself in that box by attacking people so relentlessly to begin with? She did say coming in during the premiere that she was “just here to fight.” So here we are. It’s completely a racial thing, and it’s honestly fascinating that this is being addressed on national television. But let’s not pretend either of these queens is innocent here.

Miz Cracker tries to politely ask The Vixen to also do her part by not throwing herself at her foe’s jugular whenever there’s an argument. Vix refuses and talks all over her.

Cracker’s patience has been tested—officially—but The Vixen is not backing down regardless. She will not, ever, dial herself down, because this is who she is and this is how she got here. Monét X Change approves.

Finally, after what feels like two full days of this fight, the tops and bottoms get to the Untucked lounge. Very quickly, news comes out about Mayhem throwing Monique under the bus.

Monique and Mayhem have a brief, disjointed argument about how Mayhem didn’t speak up when it mattered, and also Monique may have bulldozed the others a little bit. Unlike the Vixen/Aquaria fight, nothing is really resolved.

The queens get back to the main stage, where Asia O’Hara is declared the winner.

Kameron Michaels’s amazing lewk saves her from the bottom two, where Yuhua Hamasaki and Mayhem Miller fall instead. The lip-sync song tonight is “Celebrity Skin” by Hole, in honor of guest judge Courtney Love.

Right away, Yuhua makes a mistake by stripping off her dress within seconds of the song’s start, rather than waiting a bit and making it a real reveal. She also plays air guitar several times during the number, which… eh.

Mayhem, on the other hand, is brutally fierce. Her contacts are really helping her sell the fearsome aggressiveness she’s trying to convey with her lip-sync. Near the end, she starts to tear feathers out of her outfit. It’s terrifying and fabulous at the same time.

With her feathery outfit torn half to shreds, Mayhem Miller gets to shantay. Yuhua Hamasaki is this week’s eliminated gal.

Miss Hamasaki was a fierce queen with a great aesthetic—most of the time—who got in her own head and wasn’t able to keep up. This season is full of incredibly talented bitches, and it’s really hard to tell who’s going to go home every week.

That said, let’s do a rundown!

Blair St. Clair – Ms. St. Clair did quite well this week, leading her whole team to a bottom-free finish. She’s been doing a lot better than I originally anticipated, and has had her second week in the top now. Good for huh.

Miz Cracker – Cracker’s still doing great, killing the runway week after week and providing plenty of entertainment in the challenges. Plus, she’s speaking up in Untucked too, so she’s making sure she doesn’t fade into the background. That cocktail slam was everything.

Eureka – Last week’s bottom placement was definitely setting Eureka up for a rudemption storyline, and she’s well on her way to getting that after this week. I loved what she did with her makeup on the runway, that was wildly different for Eureka.

The Vixen – While she does tend to be unnecessarily dramatic at times, I really appreciate Vix for bringing a level of political openness to the show that we’ve never really had before. Black queens are always held up to a much higher standard as far as attitude goes, and while The Vixen ain’t getting any Miss Congeniality trophies any time soon, she is here to take those prejudiced ideas and shove them up someone’s ass. Preferably Aquaria’s.

Monique Heart – As always, Monique continues to be safe for killer lewks. It’s pretty disheartening. I really hope she gets her due next week, because this is a fierce, highly entertainting queen who deserves a lot better than safe.

Mayhem Miller – Mayhem completely shot herself in the foot this week by shutting down and letting Monique and Kameron walk all over her in the challenge, but she more than made up for it with that lip-sync. This bitch is F.I.E.R.C.E. I just hope she allows herself to take charge more going forward.

Dusty Ray Bottoms – Dusty went from having one of the best runway lewks last week to one of the worst this week, but her performances in the challenges have been great so far. And her story of getting away from her horrible, abusive family and making a happy, successful life for herself from scratch is so, so inspiring. I’m rooting for her, dots and all.

Kameron Michaels – Kameron started the season with some really basic looks, and every week, she’s gotten more and more creative and fierce. This runway look was seriously legendary. She’s full of surprises, this one. Now what remains to be seen is whether her charisma can measure up to these other queens’.

Monét X Change – Monét is doing decently in the challenges and is a very entertaining voice in confessionals, but her runway looks have all been very ho-hum so far. I’m still waiting for her to wow me, and I hope she does it soon.

Asia O’Hara – She won, bitches! Asia is definitely a fierce competitor and a very versatile one at that. She can do crazy campy drag, and she can do beautiful pageant drag too. Variety, girl! Now I hope she can also let her personality shine as bright as her looks.

Aquaria – I pegged Aquaria as a ticking timebomb, Laganja-style, from day one, and she certainly imploded this week. This could, however, be one of the best things that happens to her. I sincerely hope she can take everything that went down in this episode—especially everyone’s comments about her attitude—and apply it to grow and evolve as a person. She’s incredibly talented. She just needs to loosen up, be herself, and stop trying to pick fights.

That is it for today, dearies! Hope you enjoyed this drama-filled episode as much as I did. Until next week, I bid you Miss Vanjie… Miss Vanjie… Miss… Vaaanjieee.