Annual review

It is time to have a look back at the adventure we've got with the team since last year. I would like to point out that this review concerns mostly my own feelings and how i see things after taking a step back after the invitational.



First of all, i want to apologize to the amazing fans that we let down and eventually couldn't have the chance to meet at the event, i'm sincerely sorry to have left the venue early and hope that you guys will understand why i didn't stay.



It is really hard to express all the feelings i've been through this entire year but i'll try my best to explain it. we've launched that project late 2018 with Hicks, AceeZ and Crapelle knowing that there was hard decisions to make concerning our main roster composed back then with Liven and Renshiro who have been replaced by UUNO and Alphama. This project was meant to bring the people in so we could make it to the same direction, the one we believed the right one - and i still believe it was necessary - and for that we needed young and smart players to move in that direction. Later on we would be adding Robz to the equation as a manager but also as a mental pillar ready to help us on the intern social aspect of the team such as relationships between the players and the sanity of our group. Our project was ready to start.



If you look at it, we've had a decent year for a Proleague team composed of young talents not so experimented with the international scene, we've maintained top 2 in EU PL, played a couple Finals in minors and qualified for every event we could but we also had a lot of

disillusionment during these events and the truth is, that's how people will remember us and i finally accept it.



Being a pro player, it doesn't matter where you were or how far you've gone in a tournament, if you don't lift the trophy, it is a failure and it hurts. It doesn't matter how many times you will hear "Next time you got it !" or "You can be proud of your performance, keep it up !" these are kinds and appreciated words of course but it just doesn't work. I've been playing competitively on Siege since Y1S1, been in Proleague since Y1S3 and attended more events than i could have allowed myself to dream of when i was playing call of duty 4 back then, for that, i'm genuinely grateful to everyone who made that possible for me. But my point here is that i'm breathing Siege every single day since then, i've made a lot of sacrifices in my social life, i'm spending less and less time with the people i love, i'm dedicating my entire existence to that common purpose hundreds of Siege pro players are looking for : lifting the Hammer. And once again i couldn't reach it.



This 3rd failure at the 6 Invitational in addition to the multiple failures during major events earlier this year is probably the one i understood the less and hurt me the most, that's why i needed some time to think and consider our situation.



We tend to underestimate how difficult it is to make a team work. A team is a group of individuals gathered around the same passion but sharing different stories, lives, opinions and emotions and sometimes it creates frustration, sadness and even anger when the goal is not reached. Obviously we had a lot of discussions after every loss to figure out how to improve and fix our issues. It may looks easy from the outside but it really isn't. Then there is the external pressure coming from people who want us to fail or just the legit expectations from the ones watching us play. By the time i felt all of this growing, i swore to myself to never let it get into my head and to always ignore it like i used to. As a captain, i wanted my team to feel good, focused and hungry in tournaments and for that i kept feeding them with the feeling that we were at the top of EU PL for a reason and that our lan issues were not that real and with the negative feelings that those who want to drag us down don't know anything about us instead of just letting it go and trust them to not pay attention to it. It may have not affected them as much as i think but at least it did for me. I slowly became a man i've never been, i actually never wanted to be at the first place but i was ready to sharpen my teeth to bite harder in order to win. Truth is, we didn't achieve anything yet in this game and now i realize how bad were the decisions i've made for my team and i'm taking full responsability for it. Maybe it is the time for me to step down from that position and become again the man esports made me at the very beginning. I'm doing this because i love it, i want to share amazing moments with the amazing people in this community, enjoy my current life at it's fullest and even if i still want to lift the trophy more than anything, i also want to create memories and history, not only in the minds of the Siege community but also for myself so when i look back at my esport career and the life i've lived, i would feel only nostalgia and no regrets.



I don't know what the future holds but what i know is that i'll work harder and better to reach the heights i've been dreaming of all these years. To the fans who are still supporting us no matter how many times we failed, from the bottom of my heart, sorry and thank you.



#GoRogue

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