Lately, I’ve been losing focus. This week is finals week here on campus, my 2nd semester taking classes here in Michigan went by like a breeze, time flew away and now we’re in the last stretch of the semester. This time around, I had way too many things on my plate: 4 classes, 20-hrs of work weekly, school organization dealings and much more. But, like I said earlier, I’ve been losing focus lately.

Being far away from home for the first time in my life and for so long has been quite an adventure. I’ve met incredible people along the way, learned a lot about government, politics, lobbying & much more, and I’ve been able to see family I haven’t seen in years. Also, I’ve made great friends with some of my fellow Dominicans on-campus, we’re a little family far away from our loved ones and we’re each other support system.

In my experience here abroad, I’m more than aware that I’ve left this blog behind, and I’m working behind the scenes to upgrade it a notch. Today, I’m back here because I’m not feeling great.

Today, I’m feeling extremely homesick, lonely, sad and kinda mad at myself. I’ve been struggling a lot lately, with myself, my feelings and how things should be moving forward. Some of you might say “Why would you post this online?” and my answer is the following: Writing about my feelings and let it all out, is the first step towards feeling better or trying to achieve that.

This semester, I’ve just let stress get the best of me. Plain and simple. I remember saying that moving to America would help me, but one thing is certain: it hasn’t helped me at all. I stopped going to the gym as soon as I moved here, I’ve gained a bunch of weight, my eating problems are just out of control because this kid here loves to eat. Right?

At the same time, I’ve also started to do certain check-ups making sure how healthy I am physical, mentally, that’s another debate, my friends. Went to the doctor a few weeks ago, and got my lab work done and the results are that this guy, 24 years young, 5′ 9″ tall weighing around 250 lbs. was perfectly healthy. Yes, no STDs, no diabetes, no high blood pressure, no nothing.

My body still shows signs of health inside, but my physical appearance doesn’t give such indications. Besides, I don’t work out because I honestly HATE the gym, I wouldn’t mind running or walking every day, I just don’t like the gym at all. Also, when you don’t have a supportive/motivating gym buddy, it’s not even attractive to go. I wouldn’t mind do swimming again like I did many years ago, but I don’t have a partner to do it with. Yeah, I’m that kind of person when it comes to physical activities, always with a good buddy!

But, I need to celebrate those little achievements I’ve reached lately, for example, being pretty much a soda-free person. My friends on campus can tell you that I would usually drink water, and I’m always around with two 1lt bottles of water, with bottles I re-use for weeks. I believe that drinking loads of water every day has kept me from gaining even more weight. When I arrived in Michigan back in August I was around 235 lbs, and now I’m around 250, I still have gained weight but not as many as I possibly could’ve. Also, this semester I’ve moved more towards drinking wine than beer, which I still enjoy, but now, more moderately.

Besides this small improvements, that I’ve achieved myself and just myself alone, all I can say is that life’s a struggle and it’s never perfect. Yes, I’ve lost focus the past few months, but that does not mean there’s no way I can re-focus and get it together, and that’s where I’m heading myself to: be the best version of myself.

I’m working on being more consistent this time around though, so, it’s all about learning and enjoying the ride!

Stay calm, stay positive, stay focused.

Until next one!