My predictions about the iPad 3/iPad HD event and subsequent coverage:

The new iPad will, objectively, be a decent upgrade regardless of what Apple adds to it.

Immediate coverage will be mostly subjective, based in part on what Apple ‘left out’, despite never giving any indication such things were going to be added anyway.

Apple will be slammed in the press for not including features that were dreamed up by hacks misinterpreting a single invite and trying to get hits with IPAD 3 CONFIRMED TO WARP SCREEN JUST LIKE T1000 headlines.

A few sensible people will note that the update looks “pretty good actually”.

Said people will be slammed as Apple fan-boys.

The tech press will spew out a vomit of articles, explaining that the new iPad will be a sales disaster and 2012 will now be the year of the Android tablet.

The new iPad will not be a sales disaster.

2012 won’t be the year of the Android tablet.

2013 will then roll around and we can all repeat the same bullshit yet again. HURRAH!