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Guess who's back, back again? Govey's back, tell a friend! Yes, after being unceremoniously booted out of the department of education last year, Michael Gove has returned to the political frontline as justice secetary.

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Because it's never written a newspaper column advocating bringing back hanging.

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Never proposed spending £60 million on a new Royal Yacht at the same time that his government was making massive cuts because of the need for "austerity".

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Never received 2 votes of no confidence from teaching groups in as many months while it was the education secretary. It was the first time the National Union of Teachers had taken such an action.

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Didn't approve three free schools run by creationists.

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Never spent £370,000 (initially intended to be from the public purse) on pointlessly sending a copy of the King James bible to every school in the country.

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Didn't have a decision to axe school building improvement projects deemed unlawful by a judge who deemed the affair "so unfair as to amount to an abuse of power".

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Never claimed young business people were flooding to London for "loads of hot sex".