First, I explained that “Speak English!” is usually said as an insult and to portray people who speak other languages as non-American, even though the United States does not have an official language. It is not a request to find a way to communicate with the other person, but rather an attempt to assert dominance and authority.

Second, I offered scripts of better ways to communicate. “Do you speak English?” opens a door instead of slamming it in the other person’s face. “Could we use English together?” is another polite way to search for common ground. Languages aren’t scary, foreign systems; they’re fun, and it’s not difficult to learn a few phrases. So why not use some very simple Spanish by asking ”¿Hablas inglés?” or “¿Podemos hablar inglés?” Furthermore, “I am working on my Spanish, but could we speak English for now?” acknowledges that the responsibility of learning other languages isn’t just on non-English speakers.

“But they don’t speak English,” my son told me.

“How do you know?” I asked. “Maybe they speak Spanish and English. Maybe they don’t, but maybe they do. For example, I am speaking to you in English right now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t also speak Spanish and Italian.” We all tend to see the world through our own experiences, and only 21% of households in the U.S. speak a language other than English at home. People who communicate with just one language can forget (or ignore) that multilingual people decide which of their languages to speak ― or not to speak.

Fourth, I reminded my son that respect for languages and the people who speak them is one of our family’s core values. Our home bursts with conversations, books, music and friends of many languages. I had assumed that was enough, that it was obvious. Instead, the message outside our home that English is the only “right” language for Americans was so strong and ubiquitous that it had found footing in my son’s mind and in his words. I realized that I had to explicitly counteract that message immediately and at frequent intervals in the future.

Finally, I talked to my 10-year-old about the connections between language, racism and privilege. Because he only saw the other Fortnite player’s avatar, my son didn’t see his race. However, languages are racialized, meaning that people associate, often unconsciously, certain languages with certain races. “Speak English!” is almost always shouted at people of color, whereas people are often impressed that I, a white woman, am fluent in multiple languages. In addition, Americans tend to perceive some European languages as “prestigious,” while diminishing the value of languages from other continents and of indigenous peoples.

Truthfully, not everything from our conversation stayed with my son. A few weeks after it happened, I checked in with him. He told me that saying “Speak Spanish!” was rude and that people can speak whatever language they want. That’s okay. I will continue to bring up the subject, gradually emphasizing the more nuanced and abstract concepts.

Unfortunately, I will have plenty of opportunities to bring this up in conversation with my son. “Speak English!” videos go viral regularly, and too often the aggressive rhetoric is accompanied by physical violence. When President Trump tweets that people of color should “go back” to other countries and the crowd at his rally chants “Send her back,” the words are slightly different, but the sentiment and threat of violence are the same. That is why I spoke up so quickly with my son and why I will continue to speak out in my classes and with everyone.

It’s only a game, some might say about my son’s outburst while playing Fortnite. But all of us, including video game players, need to think carefully about the power of our unconscious ideas about languages. In his zeal to win, my son hurled a command to “Speak English!” at a teammate that could be justifiably construed as hateful ― even though he may not have understood it or intended it to come across in that manner ― and thereby perpetuated a reductive and racist language ideology.

Thankfully it wasn’t captured on video and posted online, but he used the same phrase and tone as the people in the viral videos. When we treat languages other than English — and the people who speak them — as problems, everyone loses.

Annie Abbott is a professor in the Department of Spanish & Portuguese at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign. She is the author of Spanish textbooks, including Dia a dia: De lo personal a lo profesional.

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