Here's a pretty good example of a brand dealing well with a troll on Twitter—mostly by sticking to the script, with a few flourishes along the way.

On Monday, Domino's Pizza in the U.K. had to deal with a customer who claimed to have burned his penis while "making love" to one of its pizzas.

You can see the whole exchange below.

Even as @ITK_AGENT_VIGO's tweets get increasingly irate and obscene, @Dominos_UK remains calm—amusingly nonchalant, in fact. At the end, though, the brand allows itself a little freedom, taking an even more absurd claim from the man at face value and admitting "that is not what is expected of our pizzas. We raised them better than that!" (Hopefully that doesn't count as legal admission of sexual misconduct by the pizza.)

Would have been fun to see how Tesco Mobile would have dealt with this guy.

Daily Star via Complex. Photo via Flickr.

.@Dominos_UK HELLO I'VE JUST MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR PIZZAS AND BURNT MY PENIS SEVERELY. PLEASE ADVISE ON YOUR TERMS FOR A REFUND. THANKS. — LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

@NotArsedLike @ITK_AGENT_VIGO Please contact our head office – comments@dominos.co.uk regarding this matter. — Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014

.@Dominos_UK DISGUSTING FOB OFF,YOUR STAFF SHOULD INFORM CUSTOMERS ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MAKING LOVE TO YOUR PIZZA. WHY IS THIS NOT IN PLACE? — LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

@ITK_AGENT_VIGO Our apologies, we will look for a way to notify customers of this in future. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. — Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014

.@Dominos_UK I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS, NOT HAPPY AT ALL, I HAVE A MULTITUDE OF PEPPERONI PIECES STUCK TO MY BALLS AND MY PENIS IS SCORCHED. — LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

@ITK_AGENT_VIGO As you have previously been advised, please email our head office about this — Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014

.@Dominos_UK LOOK, I'VE TRIED EMAILING YOUR HEAD OFFICE WITH NO SUCCESS BUT NOW THE PIZZA WANTS TO GIVE ME A BLOW JOB, PLEASE ADVISE. — LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014