I for one cannot understand these guys… are they a political party? Please explain their unusual rites and rituals.

The ways of the tribe of Democrats mystify me. I can no more understand how and why Democrats do what they do then why in the Sambia people of Papua New Guniea have a homosexual, incenstuous rite of passage ritual (famous ethnography: Guardians of the Flute). I can’t really condemn Democrats, or Sambia, I just stand here flabbergasted and confused by their odd culture.

The funny thing is, I used to be a Democrat only last year. The Sambia, well, you know, they live in a far away place in a very different world. You wouldn’t expect me to understand them intuitively, so I need an ethnography.

Upon entering Democratic Party official webpage, ethnographer observed something called a “party platform.” This document is apparently held by Democrats for times when toilet paper is in short supply and never used at all when toilet paper is readily available. In this document, the term “climate change” appears frequently as a lubricant for the constipated.

From this unused document, one might assume Democrats are the party of science. Supposedly, climate change matters to Democrats. Climate change has been established by a peer review process that is, above all, open. A science paper: clear methodology, data available in charts, peer review. After this laborious process, you get a rough consensus that human activity is warming the planet. So, the Democrats say, we need to change policy in light of this fact.

The conclusions based on reading this toilet paper reserve document are undercut by observation of Democrats when they come together for their sacred rites and rituals. In such formal settings, Democrats holler about Russia hacking the US election. Sometimes they scream, “sexist!” to no one in particular. Also, “racist” and “it’s your fault.”

The Russia issue, unlike climate change, causes Democrats to spit and react violently. When discussing Russia, they undress, and circle around the fire and chant, while climate change is something they pass around in these strange documents called “position papers” that no one reads.

In this case, the evidence for the Russia hacking is secret and even the nature of the “hacking” is obscure. Thus we can see that secret and magical evidence is much more important to Democrats than scientific evidence buried in platforms and position papers left in toilet stalls just in case.

True, Democrats and their obedient media outlets sometimes point out that the conclusions of the CIA do not have the precision of science… as the understatement of the century. But who pays attention to such statements amid all that erotic dancing the Democrats do when doing their “Russia Sucks” was dance?

The casual observer listening only to Democrats and their media co-religionists would have a hard time figuring out that climate change is solid science with massive consequences while the Russian hacking story is something Democrats and the MSM came up with this month and will be gone in a few more months from now.

Short term thinking is emblematic of Democrats.

The dancing fire “Fuck You Putin” ritual is intense but is only practiced once or twice before being replaced by a ritual targeting some other party, such as Greens or environmentalist or whoever else they target for ritual slaughter and cannibal consumption.

Democrats have occult, secret ceremonies. Some person is selected to “work” at the New York Times. The selection process itself is secret and involves two levels of magic. Then another member of the secret society is chosen to play a “CIA agent.”

The performers meet in a dark alley and quietly sing a sacred secret song to make the president magically be Hillary Clinton. Somehow, if the magic doesn’t work, they call in the expert known as “the Washington Post” who makes sure they properly oiled their buttocks prior to this “leaking” ritual.

Democrats love leaks, except when they hate leaks. Short term thinking and hypocracy are primary ways of identifying Democrats.

Way back on October 13, 2016, I wrote about how clueless John Podesta was when it came to internet security. The Wikileaks Podesta release ends in March 2016 when John falls for a phishing email. He also lost his phone in a cab, was hacked again by punks on 4chan days after his email was all over the internet, never installed two step verification and his password was apparently podesta1234. Now, my source for his password was an anonymous guy named /pol on 4chan. But I know that /pol did in fact break in and vandalize Podesta’s Twitter account.

Here we again see a strange Democratic ritual called “ignoring the obvious.” The fact that their own guys at CNN reported that Podesta was hacked on October 12, the same day /pol said he hacked Podesta’s ipod, is ignored, sort of how the people on Easter Island kept putting up the same sculture again and again without noticing that they live on a island and depend on fishing but have cut down all the trees and can no longer make boats.

There is not much publicly available “evidence” for the pizzagate rumor but still more accessible information than for some kind of systematic Russian attack on our election. Here we see the “shaming” ritual coming into effect where raising certain taboo topics gets you ostracized on Facebook.

Abolishing the electoral college, punishing Russia for something without hard evidence they did anything wrong, crying about fake news: none of this makes people want to become Democrats. In six months, all of these distractions will be forgotten. We will still have terrible inequality, low pay, no good health care, bad infrastructure, expensive education, pollution, banks controlling the government, absurd criminal justice system and other serious problems, not that Democrats give a shit about any of that.

I think the Democrats are not a political party but a cargo cult. As they believe the world will end in six months, they do not develop long term strategies.