I have shared this letter I wrote for my Mum on my blog to thank for my Mum for being the wonderful woman she is and to emphasize the impact Obsessive Compulsive Disorder has not only on the sufferer, but those closest to them

Mum,

Obsessive Compulisve Disorder took over my life at a young age and consequently it took over yours too. Until recently, you were the only person that knew the full extent of my illness and how much of a hold it has over me.

We have always been close, and I have never had a problem talking to you about anything. I do not know if you remember the very first time I came to you about my intrusive thoughts. I was so scared and I did not know what was wrong with me. No matter how strange the things I said were, you didn’t ever make me feel strange. We both know that at the beginning, it was all on you, I had been abdonded by the people I called my best friends and I had dropped out of college, but I could always rely on you.

You took me shopping when I found it impossible to walk round a shop without carrying out my compulsions. You sat with me while I asked you the same question time after time. You had my back through the onset of my illness and you stuck up for me regardless of the consequences that it would affect your relationships. You sat with me in CAHMS through every single appointment, when I think back to that, I cannot imagine the impact it had on you but you got me through every part of it. You wiped away my tears and held me whilst I had panic attacks knowing there was nothing you could do to take the pain away. You looked after me; reassured me, cared for me and partnered with me to battle Obessive Compulsive Disorder whilst looking after another child, running a household, being a wife and having your own time.

Although we now have a mutual agreement on what you call ‘not pulling the rope’ you still manage to give me just what I need – you spend time with me, listen to me, and tell me that it’s going to be ok. You have sometimes been at the receiving end of my frustration but you have always remained firmly by my side. I am sorry for those times, and I know that everything you have done and said has worked out for the best. I know that is as frustrating for you to watch your daughter suffer as it is for me to deal with.

Even though I feel as though the worst period has passed, we both know that Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can come out in full force at any time. You are a very important source of support. You can spot when I am struggling, just by listening to my voice or seeing my face, you know me better than I know myself. I cannot imagine what it has been like for you to watch helplessly as this terrible debilitating disorder has taken over me throughout periods of my life. No matter what is going on in your own life you have always put that to one side and put me first. You are so selfless, so strong and I owe so much to you.

I do not think I have ever properly thanked you for everything you had done for me in regards to my health. I want to thank you for being the best friend I could ever possibly have, for never giving up on me and helping me learn to laugh through the bad days. You have taken care of me for many years, and I will always take care of you, have time for you and be there for you in return.

I love you Mum.