“Milady, sully not thine ears with the base, half-formed caterwauling of that painted harlot Britney Spears. Her and her ilk are unjustly worshipped by the vulgar masses from fish mongers to scullery maids alike, and such pedestrian indulgences ate far beneath your sublime elegance.

Rather, might I be so bold as to suggest you delight your aural perceptions with the glorious refrains of a band of troubledores hailing from the quaint hamlet of Liverpool known as the Beatles. Or better yet, the hymnal revelations of the band Queen, whose lead singer bears the name of the Roman god of eloquence and may have very well been the living incarnation of the Zoroastrian god of creation Ahura Mazda, the man with no equal, Freddie Mercury.

Please, milady, I implore you to contact me that we may discuss your musical predilection, perhaps over a glass of wine, it would be a most resplendent affair!”