An imam? Inconceivable! How could a man who has dedicated his life to understanding Islam correctly and teaching it to others properly get the crazy, Islamophobic idea that jihad had something to do with weaponry and explosives? How could he have misunderstood Islam so spectacularly, and in such an utterly unprecedented way? John Kerry and the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops should team up forthwith and send an Expert on Islam (say, some learned non-Muslim State Department wonk, or an Eastern Catholic bishop who speaks Arabic and can thus communicate with this poor, benighted imam) over to Belgorod to teach this imam the true, peaceful nature of Islam. This misunderstanding can be easily cleared up as soon as the two of them sit down together and open up the Qur’an, and breathe in its soothing words of peace.

“Imam Who Possessed Weapons Detained in Russia’s South-West,” The Moscow Times, December 15, 2015: