Just In! Studies Show 99% of Trump Voters Enjoy Watching Train Wrecks

Aug 20, 2018

A joint survey sponsored by Fox News and Russian Newspaper Rossiyskaya Gazeta turned out to be the statistical jackpot of the century.

“We were actually researching the best places to build a new Trump hotel,” said survey lead, Dmitry Novosti. “We were analyzing peoples’ train preferences, because our internal research shows that many Trump voters prefer to live back in time when a man could roll up his sleeves, saddle his horse, and hunt from a train as he explored the savage west. And then we found this gem.”

It seemed that Trump supporters' eyes lit up whenever they witnessed a ferocious train crash. Biometrics revealed their hearts opened in a kind of gleeful reverie. And it seemed the more humans injured in the crash, they more they enjoyed it.

Interestingly, in a unrelated study, research has shown that 99% of those people who disapprove of Trump in the White House greatly enjoyed photos of ostriches burying their heads in the sand.

We here at The Tilted Glass have included several of the images used in the surveys.

Enjoy.



