The note that accompanied my illustrious gift read as follows:

"I didn't know what to get you so I got you this. Fuck it."

"Molded directly from the world's hottest porn star! This masturbator (spell check says that is not a word) has only one hole, creating a tight, natural suction around your cock and holding your load after you come...just like Sasha likes it."

I have never owned a personal masturbator, other than the two attached to the end of my wrists, and honestly have never even held or seen a "pocket pussy" up close and personal. I can not attest to the functionality as of yet but I will say that it is going to have its work cut out for it. (I have a large penis.)

Wink, wink.

This is quite possibly the best gift I have ever received. My match absolutely nailed my sensibilities. From the simple play on words in the enclosed message to the addition of the personal lubricant, my match deserves any and all accolades they have coming.