WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) ripped former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s new book, “Hard Choices,” today, telling reporters, “I read it, and honestly, I didn’t find anything in it worth plagiarizing.”

Calling the new book “disappointing,” Sen. Paul said, “I read a lot of books, and it’s rare that I don’t find a passage or two to lift here or there. I just read the second Harry Potter book and I thought there was some dialogue of Voldemort’s that could work well in my stump speech. But this Hillary book? Nada.”

Asked whether he would read future books by Secretary Clinton, Sen. Paul said that it was “unlikely.”

“Look, if you write six hundred and fifty-six pages and give me nothing to steal, you are just wasting my time,” said Sen. Paul, who added that he was currently finding “some great stuff” in the novel “The Fault in Our Stars.”

Get news satire from The Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox.

Photograph by Tom Pennington/Getty.