It’s the first Sunday of August and that usually means we’ve officially entered the dog days of summer. We’ve all heard that expression at some point and not just from baseball fans. It usually signifies the point in the year in which the summer heat starts to burn and no amount of cold lemonade can stop it.

Now, I love summer as much as the next person who enjoys pool parties and beach trips. I love the hottest days of summer more than the coldest days of winter. At the same time, though, there’s a point where even I find the heat unbearable. Between sunburns, humidity, and hungry mosquitoes, even I can’t overlook the flaws.

As I write this, I’m nursing more than my share of sunburns and mosquito bites. I’ve also seen more than a few days where the temperature got into the triple digits and even my love of sleeping naked only goes so far. August tends to bring out the best and worst parts of summer and as much as I strive to stay positive, I can’t overlook how much my sun burns hurt.

I’m still not eager for winter to get here and hinder my ability to lounge around naked, but I’m not going to hide from the difficulties. As such, I dedicate this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to the dog days of summer and how we cope with them. Enjoy!

“Tough love and rough sex aren’t the same thing, but they use similar methods.”

“Anyone with a spanking fetish who is still insulted by a slap in the face is sending mixed messages.”

“Is there any feasible way to tell someone you think of them while you masturbate and present it as a compliment?”

“The fact that men are repulsed by the workings of female genitalia, but still want to put their dick in it says a lot about the power of their sex drive.”

“Marriage is like paying for a reserved parking spot with a piece of your heart, a part of your soul, and significant legal liabilities.”

“True love is being able to fart in the same bed with someone.”

“Talking to your lover about what you want in bed is like giving them a guide, but just telling them what to do is like giving them homework.”

I hope this provides enough distraction from the humidity, among other things. We’re in the middle of summer and probably have a few more heat waves to endure. That means more sun burns and bug bites lie ahead of us. As frustrating as they can be, I’ll take that over shoveling a foot of snow off my driveway any day of the week.