“We’re heading for Brexit in name only, so I’m pretty frustrated.”

Join the club, Nigel Farage. The tortured process of leaving the EU has been pretty frustrating for everyone, not least the remainers, who see their conviction that Brexit will leave Britons worse off corroborated by every new report about the country’s future.

While there are some who believe the whole thing can be stopped, it seems the prospects of that are dwindling. But so is the Brexiteers’ dream of a complete rupture, or a hard Brexit behind red lines. Today, the Daily Telegraph reports that the EU has “comprehensively rejected” British proposals for a magic border-but-no-border in Northern Ireland. The government’s conjuring trick, like David Copperfield’s, has been exposed – except no one was really fooled in the first place. “It was made clear that none of the UK’s customs options will work. None of them,” said the Telegraph’s source. Michel Barnier has apparently stopped the EU’s internal preparations for trade talks until Theresa May comes up with a better plan.

Q&A What is a customs union? Show A customs union means that countries agree to apply no or very low tariffs to goods sold between them, and to collectively apply the same tariffs to imported goods from the rest of the world. International trade deals are then negotiated by the bloc as a whole. For the EU, this means deals are negotiated by by Brussels, although individual member state governments agree the mandate and approve the final deal. The EU has trade deals covering 69 countries, including Canada and South Korea, which the UK has been attempting to roll over into post-Brexit bilateral agreements. Proponents of an independent UK trade policy outside the EU customs union say Britain must forge its own deals if it is to take advantage of the world’s fastest-growing economies. However they have never explained why Germany manages to export more than three times the value in goods to China than Britain does, while also being in the EU customs union. Jennifer Rankin

The better plan is of course to remain in the customs union. But this is something that May has ruled out, time and again. EU implacability, combined with an opposition that begs to differ and a House of Lords that knows its own mind, now means she may be forced to reconsider. Remember May has agreed that, in the absence of acceptable “specific solutions”, Northern Ireland must “maintain full alignment” with EU regulations. If her “specific solutions” continue to be laughed out of court, she’s in a bit of a pickle. Her government is made possible by the DUP, which would never accept regulatory divergence between Northern Ireland and the rest of Britain. So we could conceivably end up both in a customs union and closely, if not entirely, aligned with the single market.

This will naturally infuriate Brexiteers. Earlier this week, Boris Johnson declared: “Without ... your ability to do things in a different way if you want, and your ability to do free trade deals, there is very little point in Brexit.” We’ve seen that Farage is “frustrated”. Keep a fire extinguisher handy: some of his wackier cohorts might spontaneously combust at the new threat to their “beautiful Brexit”.

But, on this as on so few other things, Johnson is right. There is [very little point in Brexit the way we’re doing it. But the way we’re doing it is the only way we ever could.

The idea of holding a simple referendum on EU membership was horribly misconceived. There was, in reality, no yes/no question to be answered, but a myriad of complex, interlocking considerations that are only now, when it’s too late, being made clear to people. But hold a simple referendum is what David Cameron did. And, since Britain is a democracy, there is immense pressure to abide by the results. Fair enough. But the results were 48% for remain and 52% for leave.

This is clearly not an electorate that decisively favours Brexit. It does so only very tentatively. It does not matter if, among the 17.5 million who voted leave, there are many, even a majority, who feel strongly that a clean break from the EU is best. The government serves the whole country, and 16 million people wanted nothing to do with Brexit at all.

The democratic solution to this split is therefore to enact Brexit, but remain closely aligned with the EU. That is the course that most closely reflects “the will of the people”.

It might well mean “Brexit in name only” – a situation that completely satisfies neither side, a classic fudge, stirred in Brussels and left to set in Westminster. But it is a situation that best embodies the results of the vote. It’s a cautionary tale about referendums, for sure. But if there are Brexiteers who finds themselves “frustrated” by it, perhaps they aren’t quite the democrats they claim to be.