3 The Less Intelligent Members of the Gay Community

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By the time I was in my teens, most of my stereotypical assumptions about the gay community had been shattered by reality. I learned fairly quickly that not all gay men have a good fashion sense. Not all lesbians work at Home Depot. Gays aren't all bleeding heart liberals or disco fans. Some gay men are macho sports nuts. Some gay women are girly-girl fashion mavens. I get it. We all get it, and if we don't, then there are enough members of the gay community to point it out and make sure we do.

But more recently it occurred to me there was another assumption I'd been making about gay people that never seemed to get corrected. Specifically, that all gays are smart. Uniformly. As if that were even possible. Not sure why I jumped to this conclusion. Maybe it's because when I think of homophobes, I think of small-minded neurologically impaired, thick-necked dbags whose limited IQs make them fear and hate anything outside of their immediate experience. So (in my own neurologically-impaired way) I assumed that the opposite of a homophobe must be more enlightened and intelligent.

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"I just solved Fermat's last theorem while waxing. Isn't that hilarious?"

But of course that's absurd. Heterosexuals don't have a monopoly on stupidity and there are plenty of LGBT folks who are every bit as functionally retarded as the straight people who ruin life for the rest of us. But the thing is, despite there being nothing unusual about a full intelligence spectrum in the gay community, dim-witted gays still make me incredibly sad. Maybe it's because it's hard enough to struggle for equality without spending all day struggling to figure out the 20 percent tip on your quiche or brie or whatever gay people eat. Or maybe it's because I've seen some big, dumb, gay-bashers in my day and I'd like to think all gays had an intellectual advantage over such adversaries. But no. Stupid has no single sexual orientation.

*By the way, spoiler alert to any gay commenters who call me homophobic for this entry. Read all the words. It's not homophobic. Your comment makes me sad.