There was a long time when I thought Mama Stamberg was one of my family members. It didn’t help that the only time I’d come across her Cranberry Relish recipe was when it appeared in a handmade cookbook made for me, typed out on Word and haphazardly cut out and glued to a page. I didn’t question the different last name that doesn’t appear anywhere on my family tree. Why would I? That lady made an incredible Cranberry Relish and I was proud to call her Someone-In-My-Family’s Mama.

Then I realized I was an idiot.

Fuck you, Google. Dream murderer.

So I decided it’s time for a Mama Molly’s Relish recipe to wipe out the shame my fake family member fake caused me to fake endure. And because I live in the now and I am hip and young and fresh and wow, it’s going to include pomegranate seeds and sparkling pomegranate juice.

Don’t worry though. I am no one’s “Mama.” Unless you count being the mother of a extensive collection of yoga pants parenthood. Which I do.

MAMA MOLLY’S CRANBERRY POMEGRANATE RELISH

FoodNetwork taught me the fundamentals of cranberry relish-ing.

Serves a bunch. 8? 8 hearty servings? I honestly have no idea what size a serving of cranberry relish would be.

Ingredients:

1 cup of Kevita Sparkling Probiotic Pomegranate Juice, or regular old pomegranate juice

6 packets of Truvia (you might need more if you use a plain pomegranate juice)

12oz bag of fresh or frozen cranberries

170g or so (one small container from Whole Foods, in other words) pomegranate arils

some grated ginger

horseradish (optional)

Mama Stamburg is no mama of mine and I’m only 100% disappointed:

In a large skillet or wok-like pan or saucepan, combine the pomegranate juice and Truvia and bring to a rolling boil. Add the cranberries and pomegranate arils and bring down to a simmer. Add the grated ginger and continue cooking until the cranberries are broken down a bit and the liquid has thickened/turned more like a sauce. Add another packet or so of sugar if you feel you need to. Remove from heat. Stir in horseradish if you want a little kick!