VARIOUS STATES OF UNDRESS Frolicking on the first date

Stop it with the s-word already

“If a girl will sleep with me on the first date, she’s a slut.”

An acquaintance recently let that slip during beers at the pub on Thursday night. I had to take a big gulp of my UFO while I regained my composure.

I’m not even going into how fucked up it is that guys call girls “sluts” — that deserves its own 750 words — but I just can’t believe that, in this day and age, having sex on the first date still carries such a stigma. Society has conditioned girls to hold off on sex if they want to be respected and taken seriously by guys, and that’s just a crock of shit. I believe that if a girl is out with a guy and she wants to sleep with him and he wants to sleep with her, she should do it without any concern for what others (guy included) might think, so long as she is comfortable with her decision.

Some of the guys I talked to told me that if a girl is really interested in a guy, she should hold off on sleeping with him too soon because she risks him losing interest if she does. So, um, are you saying that the most interesting thing I have to offer is sex, and once I put that on the table, I lose my appeal? Are you nodding right now? If so, you’re not really a guy I want to fuck, let alone date.

And let’s get this straight while we’re at it: Girls can have sex on the first date and be relationship material; the two are not mutually exclusive. The willingness of a girl to put out is not exactly the best indication of how good of a girlfriend she could be. Frankly, some of us are just unable to resist your charm, so take it as the ultimate compliment and don’t judge us for it.

I have my own reasons for sleeping with a guy sooner rather than later. Knowing what guys think has allowed me to use first-date sex as a filter: Guys who will lose interest, think any less of me, or even stop calling me after the deed just prove they were only interested in sleeping with me. The sooner I find out whether they are after my vag or after my heart, the better.

Also, I consider sex to be a pretty important component of my relationships. (As if that wasn’t apparent...) If I like someone and I’m considering something serious with him, it is in my best interest to find out if we have good sexual chemistry as soon as possible. Putting off putting out only to realize further down the road that we are the square hole and the round peg is, well, anti-climactic.

At some point, you might go on a date with someone you consider hot and realize it’s not going anywhere. Well, if you still want to sleep with them and they’re up for it, why not go for it? Might as well get a good fuck out of a bad date. Allow yourself to be completely shallow. Sometimes the satisfaction of sleeping with someone incredibly attractive can greatly boost your confidence, and dammit, you deserve to feel like nobody is out of your league.

While sex on the first date has allowed me to dismiss a lot of guys, it has also made me appreciate those who are mature and open-minded enough to like me all the same after I put out. When talking to guys for this piece, I found that there are plenty of guys who wouldn’t consider girls sluts for putting out, or lose interest in them or stop calling them because they got her in bed easily. These are the guys girls want, should, and need to date: The guys who will dismiss the double standard, saying, “If she’s a slut for fucking me, then I’m a slut for fucking her, too.”

Truthfully, there is nothing wrong with being horny and slightly tipsy on a first date with a guy and just going for it. If that’s the only good reason you have for fucking him, it’s not a bad one at all. A couple of beers and conversation with a cute boy makes it impossible for me to keep my thighs shut. And why should I?

M. is a junior in Course 10. She can be contacted at undress@tech.mit.edu.