Finally! Thanks to Pornhub, the world’s largest porn site, we have some real statistics to back up the assumption that Apple users are prone to regular self-loving. Is this proof that, despite any preconceptions that the media might have, that Windows and Android users get more action than those stylish iDevice hipsters?

Pornhub has analyzed the browsing habits of its 38 million daily users, and the resulting statistics and infographics make for interesting reading. On the desktop, Chrome is king with 44% of the jerking share, while on smartphones there’s a pretty even split between iOS and Android as the mobile porn consumption platform of choice. When it comes to tablets, the iPad (Safari) has a full 73% share. In my opinion, though, browser share only tells a tiny part of the story: If we go deeper, there is actually quite a big difference between the porn consumption habits of Windows and Mac, iOS and Android, and Internet Explorer and Firefox users.

To begin with, take a look at these charts that show the time spent on Pornhub, broken down by browser. It is clear that “normal” desktop users (i.e. users who use the pre-installed browser) browse porn for the longest (~10 1/2 minutes). Those users who are a more choosy about their browser — who install Chrome, Firefox, or Opera — are perhaps more choosy about their porn, too, reaching the climax of their surfing session much sooner (~8 minutes).

There might be something to divine from the Amazon Silk statistic — 12 minutes is the longest session duration by some margin — but it might just be some artifact from Amazon’s cloud-based processing.

It’s also clear that Pornhub users have alacrity on the mind when viewing videos on their smartphone; perhaps any more than 8 minutes and people would start to get suspicious of what you’re doing in the bathroom?

These figures are borne out by the pages-viewed-per-visit statistic, again broken down by browser. Again, either Opera Mini users have a hair trigger, or they just know exactly what they’re looking for before they set out on their porn quest.

Pornhub also provides the top 10 search terms for each desktop browser. The charts include some rather unsavory words, so it isn’t included here. Suffice it to say, there are some huge differences in porn predilections, depending on which browser you happen to use. For Internet Explorer, Japanese is miles ahead of the second-place mom . For Safari, massage , milf , and teen are out in the lead — Japanese isn’t even in the top 10. Funnily enough, Firefox, which has a very strong presence in Europe, has German as its fourth-most-popular search term.

As far as specific porn stars go, Lisa Ann tops the search charts for all four desktop browsers. The only real outlier is Internet Explorer, whose users quite like Farrah Abraham (she doesn’t rank in the top 10 for the other browsers). Personally, if it isn’t Silvia Saint or Jenna Haze, I’m not interested.

What Pornhub’s stats don’t tell us

As always with browser-oriented statistics, we would be wise to take them with a pinch of salt. Rather than a user’s porn surfing habits being dictated by the OS or browser, it’s more likely that other factors like location play a bigger role. Internet Explorer is much more popular in North America than Europe, for example — and Americans certainly have different, more-refined porn tastes than those freaky Europeans. Likewise, different cultures might have different masturbatory habits — it might be more acceptable to whip out your phone in the US, versus the Middle East, for example.

And, of course, given how a full 40% of Pornhub’s visits come from smartphone users, a nation’s 3G and 4G infrastructure probably plays a huge role as well, biasing the results towards nations like the US and UK with their super-fast LTE networks.

For more, see our definitive report on the terrifying size and scale of porn sites.