STILLWATER, OK—The world's theological community is in an uproar following Monday's discovery of a slight inconsistency in the Bible. "I was reading Jeremiah 17:4, in which God says, 'Ye have kindled a fire in mine anger, which shall burn forever,'" said Pastor Theodore Strait of First Lutheran Church in Stillwater. "And I immediately recalled Jeremiah 3:12, which says, 'For I am merciful, saith the Lord, and I will not keep anger forever.' I thought, how can this possibly be? The Bible, contradicting itself?" Biblical scholars are scrambling to explain the strange paradox, believed to be the first time a passage in the Bible has been found to contain flaws in logic.

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