LZ Granderson is a journalist and political analyst. He was a fellow at the Institute of Politics at the University of Chicago and the Hechinger Institute at Columbia University. He is the sports and culture columnist for the Los Angeles Times and co-host of ESPN LA 710's "Mornings With Keyshawn, LZ and Travis." Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @lzgranderson. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the author. View more opinion articles on CNN.

(CNN) One of my good friends and one of the kindest human beings I have ever met worked to make me a second-class citizen. Matthew Dowd was President George W. Bush's chief strategist during the 2004 presidential election, an election cycle that saw the leader of the free world endorse a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, thus weaponizing bigotry to get re-elected.

LZ Granderson

Watching your dignity and civil rights be diminished into a Sunday morning talking point was humiliating, and when I met Dowd years later, being in the presence of a man who contributed to this humiliation initially filled me with anger. But then I chose not to submit to that anger. And because of that, I gained a friend

More importantly I kept my power.

Ellen DeGeneres, who is under fire from some for sitting next to and sharing laughs with President Bush during the Dallas Cowboys-Green Bay Packers game last Sunday, knows very well what it is like to be targeted for being LGBTQ. Undoubtedly, she remembers the humiliation and fear of 2004. She also remembers the pain of losing her career, arguably for being gay , after her sitcom, "Ellen," was cancelled in 1998.

This strikes a particularly strong chord for me because I too came out in 1998. I too remember all that I lost in doing so. And like her, I too have shared laughs with some of the very people who contributed to the vilification of my community many years later. Not because we are sell-outs. Not because we have forgotten. But because anger cannot be the sole fuel propelling us on life's journey. We also need love, for without it, we are no better than those who fear us.

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