1. It has truly surprising health benefits. A very famous study actually found that male semen can reduce nasal congestion, decrease the frequency of nosebleeds, and reduce the growth of nose hair. Another study from a very prominent university provided inconclusive, but promising, evidence that semen can actually reduce the frequency of long-term allergies.

2. Most men have a repressed nose fetish that literally nobody is talking about. Almost every single other fetish has been glorified by porn and BDSM books and that’s great, but why are we ignoring one of the most common and taboo fetishes of all?

Research has indicated that at least 78% of men have fantasized about the feminine nose when jerking off. I mean, it makes sense, right? Think of how much we talk about noses being “too big” in popular culture, or how much money people spend on “nose jobs”? Let go of the repression people, embrace it.

3. Couples who kink together, stay together. Sex is not the ONLY thing in a relationship, but let’s be real, it is a big part of it. Vanilla sex is called vanilla because…well like vanilla is great, but you gotta spice it up.

4. It gives you an ironclad excuse not to swallow. Let’s be real, usually cum tastes super gross and is totally disgusting. The only reason we swallow is if (1) we are TOTALLY horny and in the moment (2) our man bothers us about it so much. Here’s a super easy way to get around that annoyance, and still keep him happy.

5. Your nose is already built to get rid of sticky gunk. That’s why we have tissues. One blow of the nose, and his sweet load is gone.

6. The sexy pre-nostril cum positions are endless. Depending on your height, he could be rubbing his buttocks on your boobs as he prepares to fill up your nose’s most intimate caverns. While giving oral to him standing up you could also just make a quick adjustment and seamlessly transition him from your mouth to your sexy nasal hole.

7. This is the only hole we waste, and it’s bullshit. We take advantage of almost every other hole in our body for sex. We use our vaginas most often, and then we use our anuses to shake things up, and we use our mouth for oral. Why do we confine ourselves to those three holes when we also have two perfectly good nostrils?

8. This will actually SURPRISE your man. You know all those sex advice articles you read? I read them too, we all read them — that’s the problem. Everyone is looking at the same shit and nobody is doing anything original. This is original.

9. It saved my relationship. Okay, this is personal, but my boyfriend and I have been together since the 4th grade (that’s 12 years). Just last year he confided in me that he was about to break up with me to “try something new,” but when I savagely screamed, “CUM IN MY NOSE” as he was fucking me (maybe for the last time), he was so turned on it reignited the love he had for me. Take it for what it’s worth, but that’s what happened to me.