Discovering an email from a Nigerian money launderer in the spam folder can be a perfect way to waste a few hours of valuable time for a disingenuous person hiding behind an email. After all, it is common for thieves ,and other undesirables, who wish to do one harm to use internet cafes. Of course, Internet cafes may be a thing of the past in the U.S, but they are still big business in Nigeria. Factually, hiding in an internet cafe requires monetary investment on their part.

Enter, a scammer who used the name “Mr. Edwin Roland” was the lucky lad (or lass) for this particular round of vigilante justice.

Our Mr. Rolland presented himself as such a gentleman. Is it possible for one not have the utmost confidence in such a good person who merely happens to send out mass emails promising fortunes in return for tiny investment?

I thought he would like to spend some time chatting with my alter-ego “Mrs. Reddenbacher.” What can I say. My love for popcorn does sometimes overflows into my fantasy world.



Therefore, I logged into Mrs. Reddenbacher’s throwaway gmail address and prepared myself to think like an elderly woman (doesn’t everybody do this?) who knows nothing about the internet and the evils that lurk within.

The game begins…

Jacqueline Reddenbacher

The first few lines of the email that I found in my spam folder is as follows: Note: I used to post the entire scam emails but I had found that most of my readers just had no interest in reading them. They are all pretty generic and all one has to do is look in their own spam folder to see examples. They are just always too long and boring for any: human, animal, vegetable or bacteria



From: Edwin Roland:

Good Day,

I am Edwin Roland ESQ, I contacted you about 10.5 million U.S.

Dollars left in the account of my late client Your…. Yadi yada yada – ad nauseaum

In my first email I want to gain confidence and appear as if I actually believe that there is an inheritance. I also wanted to close it with “God bless” because scammers tend to prey on religious people. It is shout but it did the job

To : Edward Roland From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher

Dear Mr. Edwin,

I haven’t checked my email since I fist got this computer. Hope it is not too late to claim this inheritance. I would like to thank you for taking the time to bring this matter to my attention. Can you please explain how I can proceed?

God bless,

Jackie

The scammer took the bate and there are the references to religion as I thought there world be. It is a very generic cut and paste but that is standard along with the very poor English grammar.

From; Edwin Roland to Jacqueline Reddenbacher

Dear Jacqueline Reddenbacher,

Thank you for your mail? . I thanks God for his goodness and mercy in our life’s ,our Lord is good .I was glad receiving your mail and I want you to understand that I will be more then glad to share this…Puke puke.

Also contained in the diatribe was the assurance that it was “risk free” and he requested all the standard requests for an address and bank info. He also attached a copy of a poorly Photoshoped passport along with a photo of , “himself and his family”.

Therefore, some bullshit of my own was in order. Since Mr. Roland said that it was a relative that was killed and left me money, I would enquirer as to which one.

To : Edward Roland From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher

Dear Mr. Roland,

Thank you for your timely response and your letter is well understood. I have a very large extended family and I am not sure if I had met the person you are speaking of. Was it Jeffery or was it Justin? They were both fine men and I am sorry to learn that one of them passed. If you can find out I would appreciate it so can also send my condolences.

With that said, I would like to move forward with this process as quickly as possible. I am no spring chicken and I would like to set up a fund for my son John. He never married (he is not gay but way to choosy when finding a mate) but I want to continue the Reddenbacher dynasty on a good note.

Please send me the necessary documents and I will send you my bank details.

Mrs. Reddenbacher Esq.

So, Mr Roland decides on one of my imaginary relatives and gets a bit creative on his own. I wanted him to think a bit and do some actual work and have to write a response instead of doing a cut-and-paste.



To: Jacqueline Reddenbacher From: Mr. Roland

Dearest Jacqueline Reddenbacher,

I am very glad that you got my letter well understood.My deceased

client m talking about is Justin Reddenbacher. After this mail,i am

sending you a drafted claimant application that you will fill

immediately and send to the bank for the fund immediate process

release and transfer to your designated bank account.

Best Regards,

Edwin Roland.

So I become curious. What was the imaginary death my imaginary cousin met? His imaginary ex-wife will want the imaginary money for sure.

To : Edward Roland, From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher

Dear Mr. Roland,

I am very surprised to hear that it was Justin. So young to meet his ultimate demise. He had a real bad gambling problem. Was it natural causes or did he meet with foul play? We better get this deal done fast. His ex wife was a shark and I’m sure that she will be after the money if and when she hears about it.Kindest Regards,Dr. Jacqueline Reddenbacher Esq

I was very impressed with Mr. Roland. Most scammers simply just cut and past. Not good ol’ Mr. Roland. He actually made-up the details of the death for my imaginary cousin. Saying he didn’t know about the ex-wife was a nice touch.

From: Edwin Roland

Dear Dr.Jacqueline Reddenbacher,

It wasn’t a natural cause but via accident.However,i have never

disclose this to anybody else except you and more over i didn’t know

about his ex wife because he never mentioned anything about her to me.

attached to his email was a document that I was supposed to send to the bank. Unfortunately, documents get messed up when traveling over the internet. I thought I would just send “the bank” some gibberish hexidecimal code to see if he was computer savy enough to identify it.

Of course, Mr. Roland – My attorney recommended Mr. Farkoe(Where in the name of everything holy do they get these names) at the bank

To: The Bank” Mr. Farkoe From: Mrs. Reddenbacher

Dear Mr. Farkoe,

My attorney advised me to send you a copy of this legal document. He said that the funds will be transferred over to my account once received. I also sent a copy of this document to the bank’s main email address, so you may have already received it.

Best Regards,

Jackie Reddenbacher

R41 6eE4 Mr. e2 a1 30 85 83 ae d2 f8 88

ea 36 bb 1d 45 53 3e aa 73 46 45 fc Roland

ed 41 6e 57 c9 27 ae 1a bd 4b 8d 91 29 e2 85 43

52 dd 85 c1 b4 b0 b0 51 43 f6 4d ab e4 b1 2e 3b

60 b8 1a bf e8 83 f3 14 f5 1a 5b 5a 63 95 55 9f

ec d5 1a a8 f7 3c 7c 25 cf 20 d8 01 a6 86 0e 54

36 3f 60 ae 39 e1 a6 f3 6b 5c 99 1e 1c 8e 02 d0

92 55 ad ff cb c6 e2 0e 5f 3a e8 30 3b 74 43 1

OK, he is not computer savoy at all. No idea of what hexadecimal code is and he didn’t think that something went wrong with the parsing of a bitmap image. In fact, he couldn’t contain his thuggish vernacular. Now I know I can really piss him off without fear of consequences.

From: “The Bank”, To: Jacqueline Reddenbacher

What sort of rubbish is this,is this the copy of the document you sent to our bank?B A

BA TOGO

Togo, now that’s a funny name for a banker. Unfortunately old ladies are bad with names. In addition, they are not technical savoy or knowledgeable about federal holidays. How can I be expected that something was wrong with the document?

From: Mrs. Reddenbacher To: “The Bank”

Dear Mr. Gay Tattoo,

What do you mean? It is the document containing my information just like was asked for. I also sent it to the main address of the bank. Didn’t you receive it there?

Happy President’s Day,

Jackie

After all of my manners and he sends me a one line reply? Doesn’t he want me to have a happy president’s day too? Well, a scammer is ill-advised to piss off a scam baiter

From: “The Bank” Aka BA TOGO, To: Jacqueline Reddenbacher

We did not receive any document as you claimed.

Now Mrs. Reddenbacher gets pissed. It must be all Mr. Togo’s fault. How about a picture taken on Mrs. Reddenbacher’s cell phone?

From: Mrs. Reddenbacher, To: “The Bank”

What do you mean? It is the document containing my information just like was asked for. I also sent to the main address of the bank. Didn’t you receive it there?

Jacqueline Reddenbacher

Some good advice and compassion for Mr. Togo is in order since he reply didn’t reply to the first message…I took the time to create a little something special and very readable for Mr. Togo

To: “The Bank”, From: Mrs. Reddenbacher

Dear Mr. Togo,

Since you don’t know how to open a word document, I am sending you a picture I have taken on my special ATT Cell phone. It is a good one. It has lots of letters and numbers, and can you believe, a camera too? If you can’t figure out how to open it I will ask my son to write you and explain it to you.

Have a blessed day,

Jacqueline Reddenbacher Esp.

Time to complain a bit about the banker to Mr. Roland. I know, it is probably the same person but I do like to play along

From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher, To: Mr. Roland

Hi Mr. Roland,

I am sorry to bother you with this but the guy with the bank is a complete retard. He has no idea how to open a file or even read for that matter. When I call the bank, they have no idea who he is. It is like dealing with an African circus (I hope they have Tigers,Elephants and a dog-faced man because they certainly have enough clowns.) Can you talk to him in your own language and and explain to him the ABC’s? I am tired of dealing with stupid people and I like you because you are smart.

Thank you,

Jackie 😉

Meanwhile, “the Bank” writes to Mrs. Reddenbacher. I hope Mr. Roland didn’t tell them what she said. Now he gives up on the form and just wants me to type my personal information. Now the “Banker” is calling himself Kaka Frakoe

From: “The Bank” Mr.Kaka Frakoe, To: Mrs. Reddenbacher

Sir/Madam,

Note,in other to attend to your request/claim,you are required to furnish us with below informa

first name

Your middle name

last name

Your occupation

telephone number

Your age and marital status

bank name and address

Your bank swift code or routine number.

Also a Scan Copy of your international passport or drivers license

Mr.Kaka Frakoe

Director Foreign Remittance Operation

Banque Atlantique Togo .

Mrs Reddenbacher is starting to get really upset. After all, she already sent the information twice. She won’t have any more of this. This time, though, I thought I wish him another happy holiday. At least he can enjoy a drink

To : Mr. Frakoe From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher

Dear Mr. Frogtoe,

I don’t know if you were born retarded or were dropped on your head by your mother. Maybe they keep your dumb ass around the bank for novelty purposes and, believe me, everybody DOES laugh at your sorry ass when you are not listening. Yet, the fact remains. I sent you the document two times. You may be familiar with the number two. It is written like this “2” and it is the number that comes after one(1) and before three(3). I’m surprised that you didn’t hear that from the Nigerian Big Bird yet. Anyway, just for educational purposes I will send you the document again. That is number 3. I hope this helps you with your illiteracy condition and I am waiting for the transfer.

Even though you don’t deserve it, Happy St, Patrick’s day

Jacqueline Reddenbacher, Php

Here is the trophy Mrs. Reddenbacher was waiting for. A pissed off scammer who’s time was wasted.

From: “The Bank” Mr. TOGO, To: Mrs. Reddenbacher

Let the pit of hell consume you,your family and your entire generation.

Mrs. Reddenbacher must watch Jerry Springer because she contributes her final thought.

Note: In Nigeria the word “Mugu” means “big fool”. Scammers in African courtries have something of a rock-star status and the general public praises them. Hence, the people that are scammed are known as the Mugu. I created a special award with the help of Photoshop called the “Mugu Award” for such occasions. I can’t help but feel that they really on’t enjoy being of the receiving end

From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher To: “The Bank”

Ah yes, Maybe the ‘fires of hell ‘will prevail, but that’s not the case. I would like to thank you. Frustration aside, it was a pretty good game. After all, a good scam bater, like myself, needs a good fool. You were indeed the perfect fool, tool, scammer and retarded person. It is therefore my pleasure to present you with the Mugu award. Display it proudly. Show it to your friends. Display it on the internet cafe wall and always be aware that playing again is inevitable.

Ta ta,

From: An artist formality known as Jacqueline Reddenbacher, To: Mr. Roland

Dear Mr. Edwin,

I want to thank you for a game well played. All the ridiculous things I wrote and you believed gave me a feeling reminiscent of Christmas as a child. I already have given an award to your friend at the bank but, for you, I have something special. Bless your silly little heart.

More scam bates by Thomas Duda

House Rental? My Ass

Are there no hamburgers in heaven?

Trolling a scammer from Burkina Faso

Scam baiting web design scammer: India – Rabbi Hamburger’s Cockroach Problem

Krapper’s Crappers

Rabbi Burger’s Blessing

Share this: Tweet







