TL; DR up top: I love this gift, and my Arbitrary Day Santa is wonderful! Receiving my motorcycle-themed salt+pepper holder, Top Chef cookbook, Getting the Most Out of the Internet manual, kitty treats, and Get Well card was only made more exciting by the USPS HAZMAT warning label!

Someone from my apartment complex called and left me a message today: "You have a package, and the mailman says it's leaking. Is it food? You might want to come get this." I showed up and was handed large plastic garbage bag and decided it would probably be best to open this in my garage.

Under the outermost bag was a second bag, and this bag had a warning label: HAZMAT!

Listen, he used a Reddit mailing label with a little Snoo popping out of a box on it. I trusted him implicitly.

My Santa takes this seriously. He knows I ride, and he found a motorcycle-themed salt and pepper shaker display to send! But, a girl with her spices displayed in such a way can't be serving up Top Ramen, right? So he included a Top Chef cookbook! My Santa didn't forget my goodboi, and there were some meaty treats for my little prince! And here's what I don't get, but love so very, very much: a 4th Edition Getting the Most Out of the Internet manual from Earthlink. I'm a technical writer by trade. I obsess over old or antiquated manuals. I don't know why he included this, but I've already learned how to install the Earthlink software on my Windows ME computer and how to start my free Earthlink member homepage! #hailcorporate?

Best of all, he didn't just include a regular ol' note. He knew I'd been in a bad accident, so he tucked a beautiful Get Well card into the box and inscribed it with a heartfelt note. That really made the whole thing for me, Santa.

I know this was your first Reddit gift exchange, and you did marvelously.

Thank you, ProtozoanOwen!

<3 - Dyevochka

ETA: There was nothing in this box that actually leaked anything, though the package was soaked in something oily. Thanks, USPS?