This is without a doubt the worst content you will ever see on this blog, but I’m saying it anyway. Sorry, come back some other time when we have actual content and not another set of boring townie episodes

Steven’s uncle Andy is a lonely, unhappy man, and based on the recurring symbolism of a single groom on a wedding cake it’s not just a desire for family ether. Andy wants a wife, and even though it’s pretty damn clear he doesn’t deserve one, if he’s not just a one-off character you can mark my words that the crew is going to pair him off with someone else.

There’s just one problem: What character in this show is legitimately horrible enough to end up with him? Well believe it or not loyal readers, there is someone for everyone, and her name is Big Buff Cheeto Puff

Okay, this pairing may seem to have just come out of the orange but believe me I think it has potential in a lot of ways.

For staters, both of them are lonely, and desperate enough that they’ve developed complexes over nobody wanting to stay with them. In addition, they’re both highly macho and conservative

Andy has also hinted that he shared Greg’s tastes in enormous women, but what really caught my attention is this:

Andy is a pilot

Why does this matter? Well remember this line?

Jasper: We could fly!

Oh, i’m sorry, did you think that was a throwaway? Fuck no! We’re getting fucking apache up in here, using every part of the goddamn joke. Next we’re use Greg’s murdecock as the pole for a teepee, like and subscribe for more “pitching a tent jokes”

Okay, but seriously. There’s one more thing. Notice how this was the thanksgiving episode? Well here’s two things you can’t separate from the tradition of thanksgiving:

Colonialism

that hideous orange color scheme

Coincidence? Hell yes it is, but at this point I’ve got nothing else to post about except the very remote possibility that Marty is related to Greg

Andy! Jasper! a match made in hell, or new jersey. Same damn thing

