Who is Actually the Least-Bad, Good-Bad Player?

Answer: Dion Waiters

Let me preface this by saying that Dion Waiters has elevated himself out of the position of being a Good-Bad Player. Simultaneously, Waiters deserves to be recognized as THE Good-Bad Player. Dion Waiters is what all other Good-Bad players, and all Good-Bad people, should strive to be.

Last season, Superstar Dion recorded the best numbers of his career, putting up about 16/4.5/3.5 while shooting just under 40% from beyond the arc. While these numbers may, on their surface, portray an above average starter, we can’t forget this is Dion Waiters we are talking about. The numbers simply don’t do our protagonist justice. What Dion did this season was nothing less than cement his status among the upper echelon of Good-Bad players. For years, it was questioned whether Waiters was a legitimate NBA Player. Nevertheless, he carved out a special space in all of our hearts. Remember when he Michael Scott’d the hell out of a post-game interview while simultaneously seeming to not know the point behind the words he was quoting? Waiters Island lives on.

Dion Waiters played a major role in carrying a Heat team that was supposed to tank to the (almost) playoffs. They missed it by 1 game. That is unquestionably a very, very good thing while concurrently being kinda sorta a very, very bad thing.

Let us focus on a moment that not only defines Waiters illustrious season, but(this is a fun little-known tidbit) the entirety of NBA history. On January 23rd, 2017, Dion Waiters was able to take over a game. This game happened to be against the unfadeable Golden State Warriors. How did Dion do it? He decided to revert back to his oldest trick: Hero-Ball. And it worked: Waiters tallied a career-high 33 points on six magnificent 3 pointers, the last of which sealed the fate of the game for the Golden State Warriors.

Yes, you read that right. Dion Waiters did this to the World Champion Golden State Warriors:

But more importantly, Dion Waiters did this, which can only be described as the most confident GIF the internet has ever seen:

Riiiight up to that last tenth of a second.

In the post-game interview, Waiters said he had found a home in Miami. And suddenly, the pricing of the highly valuable, highly volatile, and infinitely precious real-estate on Waiters Island skyrocketed.

There is not an athlete in this league who posses more confidence than Dion Waiters, nor a non-star player who generates as much interest. He can be the hero, the foil, the mean-mugging, game winning, 0 for 30 chucking, Good-Bad superstar. He is so many different things at once that he is impossible not to root for. Congrats on your MVP, Dion.

Who is Actually the Most-Bad, Good-Bad Player?

Answer: Brandon Jennings

Point: Brandon Jennings is actually bad. Specifically at basketball, but also at other, more important things. I would not trust Brandon Jennings to edit my article. I would not trust Brandon Jennings to recommend a restaurant. Most importantly, I would not trust Brandon Jennings to play a contributing role on 30 out of 30 of the NBA rosters.

Counterpoint: I would trust Brandon Jennings to be the perfect Good-Bad NBA player.

And here is possibly the best example of Good-Bad Brandon Jennings: Before Brandon Jennings decided to sign with the Bad-Bad New York Knicks, a fan tweeted out that Jennings would look great in the Sacramento purple and black. The fan sent Jennings what can only be called a generous attempt at depicting B.J. in Sacramento colors.

Jennings responded with a tweet of his own. The tweet was many things.

What is: The number of points I’ll be scoring this season?

The tweet he sent out himself was good. It was (possibly) lighthearted and humorous. But it was also bad. The New York Knicks are in the Photo. Brandon Jennings is in the photo. And just look at the quality of that Photoshop. Would it, in the case of just about any other player, be a poke at the fan? Absolutely. However, if Brandon Jennings is as lost on twitter as he is on an NBA court, I think we all know whether or not he got the joke. Doing something in a way that is bad, but also kinda good, but mostly bad, is the most Brandon Jennings thing that can ever happen. For that, we thank him.

Who is the Most Hump-Day-Ready, Good-Bad Player?

Answer: Channing Frye

Who Has Done the Best Job of Owning Their Role as the Good-Bad Player? (On-Court)

Answer: Lance Stephenson

Lance Stephenson is likely going to take over as the point guard of the Indiana Pacers. If you live in the birthplace of basketball, Indiana, that statement should fill you with exactly the same amount of excitement as it should fill you with confusion and embarrassment.

Ever since the Pacers squared off against the Heat in the 2014 Eastern Conference Finals, the NBA world has been blessed by Stephenson’s presence. There has been no doubt he belongs among the elite of the Good-Bad Players.

Per the Ringer, by the time Stephenson had finished his first revival game for Indiana, he had already “incited a fight with the Toronto Raptors, apologized for padding his stats even though he barely had stats to pad, pandered to the Pacers fans who gave him a raucous ovation, and provoked newfound foes on Snapchat.”

Lance Stephenson holds a record. He probably holds a few records. One record he owns is the Worst 3 Point Percentage in a season (with at least 100 Attempts). Specifically, in his one-year tenure with the Hornets, he made 17% of his shots behind the arc. This is bad, but it’s also actually good, because Lance Stephenson shot some 3 pointers and missed them more than anyone else in all of history and no one dared him to stop.

Stephenson also managed to play a grand total of 18 games last season, which was much too few. However, Stephenson also managed to evenly split these 18 Regular-Season Games amongst 3 teams, which is also perfect. In what can only be described as a miracle, he was able to earn a spot on the Pacers roster (!), had a role on their team in the playoffs (!), and, at season's end, got inked to a 3-year (!) contract (!) That means that we get, at very least, another 243 games with Lance Stephenson. He’ll even be running point.

Lance Stephenson is a winner. Lance Stephenson is an enigma. It’s time to get ready for the revival tour.

Who Has Done the Best Job Making-Up for Being Bad, Good-Bad Player? (Off-Court)

Answer: Evan Turner

A six part series of the things Evan Turner has said and done

Had a shirt custom-made, replacing the NBA Logo of Jerry West with one in his own liking. How he described his pre-game experience: “The game I signed like 100,000 autographs, I’m kissing babies and what not and all that stuff. I’m getting my hand kissed by people; I got little girls come up to me, fainting. Once the game started, it was like, ‘What the hell is going on?’ I was like, ‘This is weird. Did they take all the good people out? … I don’t worry about it anymore. I don’t want to sound super weird, but Jesus was hated, too. At the end of the day, I just worry about the stuff that’s important. If it makes you happy to boo me, go ahead. I’m still happy. I put all that stuff behind me.” On a Game-Winning Assist over the Last-Place 76ers: “When I was dribbling, I was like, ‘Oh, snap, I’m at 15 feet, I’m about to end this.’ And then I thought about [Michael Jordan] passing to Steve Kerr. And I thought, ‘Well, let me add that to my legacy. I’ll pass one time.’ And that was it. It was unbelievable, actually. Ingenious by me.” Proclaimed the M in Evan M. Turner stood for “Midrange” when it actually stands for Marcel, when it actually, actually stands for Midrange. Announced his goal of being remembered as “The Mid-Range Steph Curry.”

6.

Who is Actually the Most Social Media-Active, Self-Aware, Good-Bad, Good-Bad Player?

Answer: Chandler Parsons