Recently, two staffers at The Drive—Will Sabel Courtney and Sean Evans—found themselves driving the 2016 Chevrolet Camaro SS and the 2016 Cadillac ATS-V on the same weekend. Both cars are based on General Motors' excellent Alpha platform. Both make roughly the same amount of power. Both came with six-speed manual gearboxes. And, oddly enough, both wore the same shade of blue paint. So they met up. They drove both cars back-to-back on the same stretch of roads. They each came away with their own stubborn, pig-headed opinions. And they each brought those options back to the office, where they vented them at one another via the online messaging platform Slack. The following is a transcript of that debate. WSC: Okay, so. WSC: You had the Camaro SS last weekend, and I had the ATS-V. SE: New Slack. Who dis? WSC: Bite me. WSC: Anyhoo. SE: Yes, I had the superior car. SE: What about it? WSC: Two seconds in and you've already started lying. WSC: As my car was clearly better.

Will Sabel Courtney/TheDrive.com

WSC: The ATS-V is faster, first of all, as we clearly proved. SE: The only thing we proved was that you had launch control and I did not. [Ed. note: The 2016 Camaro SS does, in fact, have launch control.] WSC: Well, that, and you don't know how to launch a car off the line. SE: What's the 0-60 time Caddy reports for the ATS-V? SE: /gif eyes narrow

WSC: Googling. Please hold. WSC: Cadillac quotes 3.8 seconds. SE: Ah. Okay, so your car is quicker, but only JUST. The 'Maro shuffles to 60 in 4. SE: But you have two turbos. SE: I had zero turbos. WSC: But you have mad displacement. WSC: 6.2 liters versus 3.6. WSC: And like your mom said last night, there is no replacement for displacement. SE: /gif dorothy mantooth

SE: Right. So you have a smaller, more powerful engine, and it's a slightly SLIGHTLY faster car SE: but the Camaro is undoubtedly louder and scares the children and therefore is more fun. WSC: It also handles better, because of that smaller engine. SE: Disagree. I like how slippy the Camaro was. WSC: Oh, the Camaro is definitely more fun to hoon around. SE: Besides, that's the same LT from the Corvette. SE: #heritage WSC: /gif muricah

SE: Precisely. SE: so you can keep your tiny engine, your alleged better handling and your marginally faster car SE: particularly because it costs, what $30K more? WSC: Ummm... SE: Mine was $46K SE: how expensive was yours? WSC: I plead the Fifth on that one. WSC: /gif i plead the fifth

WSC: Mine was $75K. SE: Right. SE: and what do you get for all that? SE: two more pistons on your Brembo brakes? WSC: BUT that was with a bunch of unnecessary accoutrements like the Carbon Fiber Package. WSC: It starts at a hair over $60,000. WSC: And that's with all the tasty performance treats. SE: Still 14K over the Camaro SE: and far quieter WSC: The Caddy's interior alone is worth at least half of that $14K. SE: I don't need alcantara SE: I don't need any of that nonsense. SE: I need power and noise. SE: /gif roar

SE: dammit Gif. WSC: /gif haha

WSC: The Camaro is a fun goofy car to play around in. But the Cadillac manages to be a better sports car AND a better car in general. SE: It absolutely does not manage to be a better sports car. SE: no one stares at it. WSC: STARES DO NOT A SPORTS CAR MAKE WSC: SPORTINESS IS WHAT MAKES A SPORTS CAR SE: that's a hallmark of a sports car. WSC: You're a hallmark of a sports car. SE: /gif you're a towel

WSC: that is accurate. SE: But getting back to the basics. We went to Bear Mountain, right? SE: with all it's wonderful, twisty roads SE: You led in the Caddy SE: and couldn't pull away at all. SE: The Camaro was right on your tail the whole time. WSC: They're more or less evenly matched in terms of speed WSC: But the ATS-V is better balanced.

Will Sabel Courtney/TheDrive.com

WSC: Your rear end was dancing all over the road as you went through those turns. SE: Okay, which car do I want to track? The Caddy. SE: Which car would I daily? The Camaro. SE: I liked that the back end steps out a bit. SE: that's why you buy a Camaro. WSC: Okay, yeah, that is fun. SE: that's why you want a muscle car. SE: you want the loud and the horror show (and tire smoke) WSC: But my biggest real beef with the Camaro? WSC: You can't see out of the bastard. WSC: I felt like I was driving a Civil War pillbox. SE: /gif accurate

SE: They need to address that. WSC: Those front corners could hide a black bear. SE: Sure. SE: and you could also have one chasing you and never know it because of the tiny rear window WSC: "The 2016 Chevrolet Camaro: Not Great Against Bears" SE: "The 2016 Cadillac ATS-V: Not That Much Better Than a Camaro" SE: They're step brothers. SE: on the Alpha platform. WSC: /gif step brothers

SE: Okay so which is which, smart guy? On three... SE: The Camaro is the Dragon WSC: Dragon is the Camaro WSC: Whoa. Great minds. SE: I feel like the Camaro is the older brother who is proficient with a noogie and may give you a swirlie and burps a lot after guzzling soda. SE: but he's strong, and funny and you always want him around. WSC: And the ATS-V is the younger brother who had a lot to prove, so he cleaned up his act, hit the gym, and got a really good job. SE: /gif nerd

WSC: I refuse to address any Supernatural gifs. SE: That you know where that's from is even sadder SE: So what's the conclusion SE: I'm right? You're wrong? The Camaro is better? WSC: Bottom line—they're both really, really good cars. The ATS-V is a bit better. But $15,000 better? Not sure. SE: But it's not $15K. It's more than that. If you're saying base is around $62, base for me is still $41 and it's got all the goodies that you have to spend another $10K to add. Like heated and cooled seats, leather, etc. WSC: Point still stands. The ATS-V is the superior car, in my mind. But the price difference is high enough that it's hard to compare them apples-to-apples. SE: I will get a bag of apples, get in the Camaro, drift around your ATS-V and throw said apples at you. WSC: But you won't be able to hit me, because you won't be able to see me. WSC: Because of the aforementioned shitty sight lines. SE: /gif i see you

WSC: And on that note... SE: /gif bye felicia

SE: /gif camaro