“It was almost as though it happened overnight.”

Growing up, I never expected to rule over an entire nation — not to mention so unjustly. But, that’s exactly what happened when I grew a mustache.

It all started this past Movember. It began as any other; creating my official team page, purchasing replacement blades for my razor, adjusting my daily commute to avoid any Toys-R-Us stores.

Then something amazing happened, I became a dictator.

I was speechless. It was almost as though it happened overnight. I had been tossed right into a full-blown regime, led by yours truly.

Not having any prior experience to ruling a nation unfairly, I immediately started researching. I asked myself, “How did other dictators with mustaches such as Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Saddam Hussain rule entire nations with such vigor and truculence?”. The answers I sought were out there, I just needed find them.

After hours of opening books and skimming Wikipedia articles, I decided the only way I would learn is by doing. So I strapped up my boots, put on my lucky yellow LiveStrong wristband and stormed into a room filled with my top military executives.

“Our people believe this regime to be weak! That changes right now.”, I exclaimed with aggressive passion. I could sense the room tensing with every passing threat. My eyes swelled with pure happiness.