VOTER FRAUD!

IT’S SCARY!

BE ON THE LOOKOUT, CHILDREN! IT COULD HAPPEN AT ANY MOMENT!

The state of Florida began a massive voter purge several months ago, which involved a DOJ lawsuit and some yelling and some hurt feelings and let’s just not talk about it, okay? It is time for a reckoning of this purge, which I am sure netted literally bajillions of illegal voters. The state started with a list of 182,000 suspect voters, which is a ton, let’s be honest. That’s enough to sway almost any close election, and should be investigated. And 58% of them were Hispanic, so you know what was probably going on there.

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…I mean, I hope you do, because I honestly have no clue why you’d single out a bunch of Hispanic voters and try to remove them from the ballot.

Well, that list was quickly culled down to 2,700 voters. And today, we have a near-final accounting of the plague of illegal voters who have terrorized Florida elections. It is awful and terrible.

The state of Florida launched a huge crackdown on illegally registered voters. After months of search, Florida authorities have to date caught … one person. An Austrian-born Canadian citizen, Josef Sever, age 52.

We got a Canadian! But, I mean, they’re basically Americans with fry-gravy, so I’m not even sure that counts. This is the worst voter snipe hunt ever. I’m sure there’s some conservative working on a principled, nuanced rationale for why we need to institute massive regulatory impediments to the exercise of a constitutional right to address a problem that barely exists.

I’m joking, of course. They’re working on reasons Barack Obama is the manifestation of black rage.