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Published on the Doomstead Diner on April 29, 2015

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Your list of NEW Miranda Rights TM

1- You have the Right to be indefinitely detained in an undisclosed location of our choosing

2- You have the Right to remain silent while we beat the shit out of you.

3- You have the Right to an Attorney, if you can afford one. If you cannot afford one, the Court will appoint a newly graduated Lawyer from Hacks, Dimwits & Shysters to represent you, if he can find your file under the other 400 he has on his docket.

4- Anything you say can and will be manipulated by our Audio Geeks in the IT Department to say WTF we want it to say no matter what you actually do say.

5- You have the Right to be a Debt Slave, pay Taxes and Vote for the Candidates we choose.

6- You have the Right to read, watch and listen to the Propaganda we pitch out at you every day.

7- You have the Right to drink the waste water from the Fracking company in your neighborhood.

8- You have the Right to enlist in the Military and go over to Afghanistan to make sure our Pipeline goes through.

9- You have the Right to send your kids to substandard schools with underpaid teachers unless you can afford really expensive Private Schools

10- In case we forgot anything, you also have the Right to be FUCKED any other way we can think of.