hi all,

my wife ulia and i took a sudden trip to korea because our daughter needed emergency plastic surgery, long story short we were sitting in the waiting room here: http://www.samsunghospital.com/main/index.do

...when i was grabbed from behind and vilently pulled into a car, roughed up, and all my valuables taken.

i woke up two days later in a park, naked, with a twig stuck heartlessly up my rectum.

not a day has gone by where the savage scrape-incrusted pain of my bloody rectum hasn't brought me to cripple to the ground in an ooze infested puddle of feces.

what medicinal cream would best combat this?