President Says Fight for Bernie Marcus and Home Depot

In a two tweet epic storm, President Donald Trump just made Home Depot the most popular home improvement store in America. The president issued tweets defending retired co-owner Bernie Marcus, decrying liberal efforts to hurt the business man financially. Marcus recently pledged the bulk of his wealth to helping the president win re-election in 2020. This caused a feeding frenzy amongst the sharks in the water.

If that was enough to cause a meltdown, President Trump’s tweets are sure to trigger a full on psychotic episode. We have known for a long time that the presidents troll level is so far removed from mortal men, it is unattainable. These tweets prove definitively he is the master troller.

….to your favorite President, me! These people are vicious and totally crazed, but remember, there are far more great people (“Deplorables”) in this country, than bad. Do to them what they do to you. Fight for Bernie Marcus and Home Depot! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 10, 2019

Epic Backfire!

Slamming “these people” as “vicious and totally crazed,” the president hit back ten times harder, as is his wont. In so doing, he single handedly secured the economic security of “Orange Store Bad!” for the foreseeable future. There is a funny irony to this story as well. The current CEO of Home Depot is a democrat. According to the New York Post, the company issued a statement saying that as a rule, they do not endorse presidential candidates, and that since Marcus’ retirement over 15 years ago, he no longer speaks for the company.

It is safe to say the sales numbers of the home improvement chain will grow by leaps and bounds. Anyone working at Home Depot has even more job security than they did before. That’s the thing with liberal boycotts. Much like the infamous Chick Fil A boycott, this one too will backfire spectacularly and send Home Depot revenue through the roof.