GCU Disinvites Jesus From Campus For Causing Division

PHOENIX, AZ—Private Christian school Grand Canyon University has disinvited Jesus Christ from its campus in order to preserve the school's mission of unity after uncovering controversial comments made by the Jewish Messiah that might cause division among students.

Material mentioning Jesus' teachings has been banned, and anyone with Jesus in his heart was asked to vacate the campus immediately.

"We support a lot of the nice things that Jesus says," school administrators wrote in a statement. "He's all about Judeo-Christian values, and that's great. We love that. But here on campus, we want to provide an environment that's free from controversy and divisiveness, and frankly, Jesus said a lot of stuff that's likely to tear us apart."

Administrators pointed to instances like the time Jesus said He was the only way to God, the time He claimed He and the Father are "One," and the time He said that He came not to bring peace on earth, but "a sword."

"These statements simply aren't in line with our values of unity and not ever offending anyone," the statement concluded.

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