Anonymous: Hi, I've had trich for a long time - mainly my eyelashes. In the last 5 years, I started pulling in my sleep and waking up to large amounts of lashes missing. It only happens when I'm really stressed. I had an episode in my sleep last night because I'm training for a new job. I'm scared and overwhelmed because I'm around new people that will be seeing my gaps. I want to talk about it with them and break the ice, but I'm scared to. Could I get some advice or perspective? Thank you ╥﹏╥ Hello! We’ve had a lot of fun with our Tumblr advice column and hope it’s been a great help to the BFRB community. As the times change we have decided to update our forum and ask that you please direct all further questions to either the TLC Facebook page or the TLC Instagram page. You can DM us from either platform and we’ll get back to you! Thank you for your support.

Moving Our Advice Column Hello! We’ve had a lot of fun with our Tumblr advice column and hope it’s been a great help to the BFRB community. As the times change we have decided to update our forum and ask that you please direct all further questions to either the TLC Facebook page or the TLC Instagram page. You can DM us from either platform and we’ll get back to you! Thank you for your support.



Anonymous: Heyya, I've had trich and derma for as long as i can remember in a sort of "need to be smooth and perfect" way. I was wondering if any of the mods ever feel or have heard of someone with bfrbs feeling the need to rip off their skin? Like, I was reading some of your blog posts and it made me start thinking about skin and nails and mouth and ribs, just shit that grosses me out and now i don't feel like me. I'm sorry if this is triggering, you dont have to answer, thanks. Hi, thank you for reaching out. I know that BFRBs can vary for everyone and some can range from scratching the surface to feeling like you can’t stop picking no matter what. I’m sorry that you don’t feel like yourself. What I do when I feel that way is to ground myself by naming a scent, a sound and a texture I am surrounded by in the current moment. I also take 3 deep breaths while closing my eyes. When you start feeling overwhelmed or just not yourself, I think it is important to remember that you have the ability to bring yourself back to a safe space. If you’re able to, contact someone close to you who you can talk to about a passion of yours or something you enjoy doing together. I hope this helps.

Anonymous: Hello! Your posts have always helped me so much. Do you have any ideas how I can avoid pulling after getting a (terrifying as always) haircut? The blunt, crisp ends really like to make my trich flare up. I got this haircut as I'm moving to Florida for 4 months for an internship at KSC, and I can't wear hats to work (like I tend to do with my college job). Thanks!! Hi there! Thanks for reaching out. Blunt ends can be troubling for me too but I have found that wearing bandanas or different hairstyles helps me pull less. Braiding my hair or wearing it in an updo has been helpful for me as it is harder to access the hair in those styles. I hope this helps!

Anonymous: I have been picking since I can remember. But in the last year or so, I found out what dermatillomania was. More recently I slowly started talking to my friends about it and many of them want to know what they can do to help and I don't really know what to tell them. Part of me is too embarrassed that I told them, to want any of there help, even though telling them has made me feel a release of not bottling it all up inside. Anyways, what do I tell them on how to be helpful? Hi, thanks for reaching out! It’s really great that you feel comfortable talking with your friends about your derm and that they want to help. Sometimes it’s hard to know if and how you want people to help you. A lot of it depends on how much you want your friends to intervene. For instance, you could have a friend send you a signal to make you aware of when you are picking if you don’t do it in private, or you could even just ask them to be supportive and kind to you when you are struggling. I think it’s really awesome that your friends are so supportive of you and I hope this helped!

Anonymous: How can I stop myself if I notice that I’m picking? And finally how can I stop myself from eating/tasting my scabs and blood? I'm sorry for the long ask but I just want to stop and prevent doing anymore damage to my body. Thank you (4/4) Hey thanks for asking such an in-depth question, I’m sure there’s actually a lot of people out there wondering the same things. I think it’s important to acknowledge that all of these behaviors have been building up to a point where you are in distress about not only managing them but also the lasting damage that you could be doing to your skin. I too have struggled with these problems before. For me, it was a matter of taking the step to get help from a professional. Sometimes it can be scary asking for help on such a sensitive issue but I can assure you that it’s well worth it! Check out https://www.bfrb.org/find-help-supportfor info on everything from therapists to support groups to skin scare specialists who can provide you with tools to help manage the skin picking as well as strategies for mitigating existing skin damage and protecting your skin in the future. I personally haven’t had much success with fidget toys but one thing I have had a lot of success with is mindfulness training. A good place to start is trying to “ride the wave” or “urge surfing” which is a basic mindfulness technique to help you get through moments of time where your urges to pick are intensified. There is a lot of information about this technique out there if you just google, “mindfulness, how to ride the wave.” Definitely check out the website I listed above and take a moment to reflect on how you have been feeling lately. If you are overwhelmed and feel a sense of desperation in regards to your skin picking I would urge you to seek professional help, there’s no way that I could’ve gotten to where I am today with my BFRB without getting a little help along the way!

: For as long as I can remember I’ve always picked and peeled the skin from primarily my fingers, as well and bitten/peeled my fingernails. I’ve recently gotten to the point where I haven’t picked/peeled my fingernails in over a month and I’m making progress on not picking/peeling my skin. I know it’s silly, but I feel like because I haven’t been picking/peeling that I faked the whole thing. I only found the label BFRD half a year ago. Was/Is it wrong to say I have one because I’m getting better? Anonymous : For as long as I can remember I’ve always picked and peeled the skin from primarily my fingers, as well and bitten/peeled my fingernails. I’ve recently gotten to the point where I haven’t picked/peeled my fingernails in over a month and I’m making progress on not picking/peeling my skin. I know it’s silly, but I feel like because I haven’t been picking/peeling that I faked the whole thing. I only found the label BFRD half a year ago. Was/Is it wrong to say I have one because I’m getting better? Hi, thanks for reaching out! First of all, congratulations on your progress! I hope you feel proud of yourself, and still know that it’s okay if you relapse; your hard work won’t go to waste. It’s not wrong to say you have a BFRB and you shouldn’t feel that you faked it even though you aren’t currently engaging in your behaviors. Many people experience periods of engaging and not engaging in their BFRB, and it’s completely normal. If you want any resources or more information please visit the TLC Foundation for BFRBs website at bfrb.org

: So, I think I have BFRBs being that I pick at my skin, pretty much any little bumps. Constantly rubbing my face with my fingertips. But I think I have rhinotillexomania. As my nose picking is THE WORST. It’s almost always hurting and only gets relived when I pick. I’ll stand in front of a mirror with tweezers and a flashlight just going crazy. It’s so bad and I’ve done it for so long I now have a hole in my septum that I feel I HAVE to keep clear. How do I even begin to address this? Anonymous : So, I think I have BFRBs being that I pick at my skin, pretty much any little bumps. Constantly rubbing my face with my fingertips. But I think I have rhinotillexomania. As my nose picking is THE WORST. It’s almost always hurting and only gets relived when I pick. I’ll stand in front of a mirror with tweezers and a flashlight just going crazy. It’s so bad and I’ve done it for so long I now have a hole in my septum that I feel I HAVE to keep clear. How do I even begin to address this? Hi, thanks for reaching out. There are many resources on the TLC Foundation for BFRBs website. This link will take you to the skin picking section, https://www.bfrb.org/learn-about-bfrbs/skin-picking-disorder. Here is the link to the main page as well, https://www.bfrb.org. I think it may be helpful for you to keep track of when you feel the urge to pick at your skin or nose. Is there an emotion tied to it? Are there certain activities or situations that may trigger an urge? Tracking when you pick may be useful in narrowing down the factors that cause the urge and may help you realize how you can manage the behavior. You can also try covering your mirror so you aren’t given the access to pick. Getting rid of your tweezers may also be something you can do. That may sound like a major step, so you can first try moving your tweezers and flashlight to a less accessible place so you will have to stop and think about retrieving them before acting on the urge. Ayr Saline Nasal Gel can help keep your nose from drying out. I’d suggest not using oil based lubricants as those can dry your nose out more. You can also try massages for lymphatic system that may help clear your nose. Here is a link to a video demonstrating how to do the massage, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zLB6n_R-dus. I hope this helps you!

: I’m going on a swimming trip with my family. And I wanted some advice on how to keep my bald spots hidden when I’m in the water. Anonymous : I’m going on a swimming trip with my family. And I wanted some advice on how to keep my bald spots hidden when I’m in the water. Swim caps are a great way to prevent bald spots from showing since it covers your whole head. Soft headbands can work too! Also, if you’re able to, you can braid or tie your hair back in a way that covers the spots and leave your hair that way when you swim. I hope this helps and have fun on your trip!

I need advice. I eat and pick at the skin and scabs on my body and I don’t know how to stop. I’ve tried lots of things and my parents hate that I do it. They lecture me about it a lot and it just makes me depressed. They say things like “your a girl, you shouldn’t pick at your skin” or “stop, that’s embarrassing”. Also they’ll show other people like family and friends my hands and they’ll look disappointed. I want to tell them I could have a bfrb but I feel like they won’t understand. I told them I think I have social anxiety and they brushed it off like it was nothing. What should I do? I am glad you reached out because it is awful not feeling accepted by your own family members. I first would tell them you don’t like it when they show your hands to other people because it hurts you. Also another idea would be to go to bfrb.org and there is an area on the website where they have articles for parents. I would have them read those articles if I were you and just know you are beautiful just the way you are. The TLC community is here for you and is cheering you on every step of the way! I am glad you reached out because it is awful not feeling accepted by your own family members. I first would tell them you don’t like it when they show your hands to other people because it hurts you. Also another idea would be to go to bfrb.org and there is an area on the website where they have articles for parents. I would have them read those articles if I were you and just know you are beautiful just the way you are. The TLC community is here for you and is cheering you on every step of the way!

: whenever I find a coarser hair on me, or a bump, I have to get it out/off, and I've really tried making it more difficult for me to do that (shorter nails, lotion, bandaids) but the problem is I feel this sickening feeling in my chest until it's off of me. do you have any advice for dealing with that feeling? Anonymous : whenever I find a coarser hair on me, or a bump, I have to get it out/off, and I've really tried making it more difficult for me to do that (shorter nails, lotion, bandaids) but the problem is I feel this sickening feeling in my chest until it's off of me. do you have any advice for dealing with that feeling? Sometimes the emotions driving us to engage in picking or pulling can be overwhelming. I personally try to ground myself through mindfulness and “ride the wave” of my emotions because for me, they generally come and go in tides so if I wait long enough I know that the feelings I’m having in a moment when I’m having a difficult time regulating my BFRB, will eventually subside back to a more neutral and manageable feeling. I have also sought professional counseling in some of my hardest times to get guidance on how to better manage my emotions. If this is something that interests you, check out bfrb.org under tools and info to find a TLC approved mental health care provider in your area.

hey-kayla: meandgavin: emmbeeee: raezberry: You know what I never see on Tumblr? Encouraging or supportive posts about people with trichotillomania and/or dermotillomania. I never see those posts because you can’t romanticize it, people don’t see it as beautiful and therefore don’t want to talk about it. It’s really fucking hard having a disorder that is so painfully obvious to anyone who looks and so hard to understand, so shout out to my buds with trich and/or derm, you are still beautiful and worthy of love This! I have trich, have had it since I was 6 or 7. I was a teenager before I learned it wasn’t just me. I was an adult before I realized it was a thing that other people also have, that I could find them and talk to them and talk about it and not be alone in it. But it’s not as rare as people think, and that makes it surprising to me how rarely I bump into it in social places. I have Trichotillomania too and have since I was a child - there is a picture of me at 2 or 3 years old with hardly any hair and huge bald patches because I pulled out my hair so much. I didn’t even know it had a name until a few years ago. I think people are starting to be more open with it, which is great, but it still feels kind of “taboo” to me for some reason. @trichs-n-picks is a great blog to follow for trich awareness and strategies!

: I have bitten my nails for as long as I can remember. I they used to be constantly painful and pretty gross looking. I have gotten better at painting my nails and using tools to help me damage less. I used to pick at my toenails too, but I have mostly been able to stop. I also pick my skin on my face, legs, and other parts of my body. My family sometimes teases me about the amount of time I spend "doing my nails" or just getting ready. Are BFRB's common in pairs? I am not sure, do I need help? Anonymous : I have bitten my nails for as long as I can remember. I they used to be constantly painful and pretty gross looking. I have gotten better at painting my nails and using tools to help me damage less. I used to pick at my toenails too, but I have mostly been able to stop. I also pick my skin on my face, legs, and other parts of my body. My family sometimes teases me about the amount of time I spend "doing my nails" or just getting ready. Are BFRB's common in pairs? I am not sure, do I need help? Hi! I want you to know I’m proud of you for reaching out and that it is tough having to deal with one BFRB let alone multiple BFRB’s. I truly can’t say if it’s common for BFRBs to come in pairs but I can tell you that I pull my hair and pick my skin, and many people in the BFRB community seem to also have not just one BFRB. Now when it comes to if you need help or not, I can’t answer that for you but can tell you that I personally find it challenging trying to overcome my BFRBs all on my own. Sometimes just having someone there other than yourself to cheer you on is all it takes to keep persevering in this everyday challenge. I want you to know that the BFRB community is here for you and there are BFRB support groups on Facebook that you can join if you want to explore that support system as well.

: A few loaded questions here: Is it normal for bald spots to grow in more curly hairs than what was previously there? A lot of mine tend to do that (my hair is subtly wavy, but it's a pixie cut rn). Also, I never really thought about having derma until I realized I'm *constantly* digging up skin for hairs I can see and just want OUT. I'm assuming that qualifies?? Lastly, is there a BFRB for nail picking/cutting? I've never seen anything for it and it's something I also do constantly... Anonymous : A few loaded questions here: Is it normal for bald spots to grow in more curly hairs than what was previously there? A lot of mine tend to do that (my hair is subtly wavy, but it's a pixie cut rn). Also, I never really thought about having derma until I realized I'm *constantly* digging up skin for hairs I can see and just want OUT. I'm assuming that qualifies?? Lastly, is there a BFRB for nail picking/cutting? I've never seen anything for it and it's something I also do constantly... Hi, So every time you pull, your hair tends to grow back differently, whether it goes from straight to curly, light to dark hair, or thin to coarse hair. All that matters is that your hair is growing back and that takes a lot of effort. I’m so proud of you. For your question about if picking your skin to get the hair out, while we can’t diagnose you, it certainly sounds like dermatillomania. Picking at your skin to get hair out is often considered skin picking/dermatillomania. I do the same thing and find that putting lotion on my hands makes it hard to dig the hair out.is very similar to skin picking / dermatillomania, and can be considered the same behavior.