HOLLYWOOD, CA — The surprise hit of the summer is adding double the Finn to it’s sophomore season. Finn Wolfhard, meet FN-2187.

According to sources, John Boyega of Star Wars fame, will be joining the cast of the Netflix hit series Stranger Things. Insiders have heard Boyega will be playing Lucas’ older brother, who is quite the bad boy. So much so that he’ll complicate an already complicated love triangle between Nancy, Jonathan, and Steve.

Boyega’s character is said to be modeled after William Zabka from Karate Kid, right down to being part of a renegade dojo. FSW speculates these kung-fu skills will somehow help topple whatever creature from the Upsidedown haunts the gang this time around.

The news has us so excited, we’re already shipping Nancy and Boyega. Move over, Rey. We’ve also begun shopping Finn Wolfhard’s head onto Boyega’s body and vice versa, because there can never be too much Finn.

For the latest on all genuinely disingenuine Star Wars news, keep it locked to FakingStarWars.net.

Do it for Barb!

-William “Willybobo” Bobohard