Like many kids of the 90s, I was really into Beanie Babies.

I managed to rack up a collection of 113 Beanie Babies (yes, that includes some of the really rare ones. No, I did not keep the tags on. It’s a very sore subject, let’s not discuss it further) in total.

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But throughout that collecting process, not once did I find myself wondering: ‘wait, where is this Beanie Baby’s vagina?’

Apparently, one person has asked this question. And luckily for all of us, they’ve decided to answer it, too.


An artist and Etsy-er known as both Christa May and Furburger is doing the wondrous and confusing work of sewing vaginas (well, vulvae, technically. But we’ll get into that in a bit) on to Beanie Babies.

We do not understand why. We do not understand who is purchasing this product.



All we know is that products called ‘lewd plush animal with HANDCRAFTED GRAPHIC VAGINA’ exist in the world, and you can buy your own for the low, low price of £22.24.

Furburger previously made a toy dolphin with a stitched on vagina, but we believe this is the first time the artist has dipped her toe into the Beanie Baby pond.

So far she’s given a Beanie Baby squirrel, a Beanie Baby monkey, and the rare Beanie Baby calico cat their own genitals, loving stitched with pink material and complete with a hooded clitoris.

Now, on to that ‘vulva, technically’ thing.

In the product descriptions for these genital-ed Beanie Babies, Furburger specifies that the genitals added to the Beanie Babies are a ‘surface only affair intended strictly for humour and not functional purposes.’

So to be clear: No, you can not f*** these Beanie Babies.

That’s what we mean by calling their bits vulva, because the vagina is internal. Get it?

The whole thing is a bit strange, however, because the vulva on these Beanie Babies look like human vulva, not the vulva of the Beanie Baby’s corresponding animal.

Basically, Christa May has given a bunch of stuffed animals human-style clits, labia majora, and pretty pink labia minora. We still do not understand.

This is not a Beanie Baby, but it is a stuffed cow with a giant vag. (Picture: @Furburger/ Etsy)

The product descriptions do not offer much else in the way of explanation for Beanie Babies with sewn on vulva, instead reading: ‘Where do baby plush animals come from? She’ll show you.’ Cool.

We have reached out to Christa to ask, simply, ‘BUT, WHY, CHRISTA? WHY HAVE YOU SEWN VULVA ON TO BEANIE BABIES?’ but sadly she has not responded.

If she does get back to us, we will of course update this post with whatever glorious explanation she has.

Until then, feel free to browse the rest of Furburger’s catalog and buy all the vulva-ed Beanie Babies you’ve always dreamed of displaying on your shelving.

If anyone can shed light on why these exist, please do tell us. We need to know.

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