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Writing for Racked, Arabella Sicardi offers a fascinating dispatch from the makeup master class Kim Kardashian and her main glam squad man Mario Dedivanovic offered last month in Los Angeles. It turns out that blending is the new contouring, Sicardi reports, among other things of note like that "banana powder" is a no-no, and that people traveled from Mongolia (!!!) to attend the class.

Sicardi also offers a step-by-step breakdown of the makeover Dedivanovic performed — and really, isn't good makeup a performance these days? — on Kim onstage during the event. The look requires 40 separate creams, blushes, powders, and gels, applied in over 50 steps, and costs $1,200 in products, or nearly $1,700 with tools also; that's quite the makeup bag. Here's the pricy breakdown:

And then it's time for a nap, during which you'll roll over and smudge your lipstick and have to start over, and thus your life remains in a vicious circle of makeup and restless sleep until death, sweet death, ends things for you and funeral home makeup is the best you'll ever have.

Really though, this is a makeup routine whose combined cost is, at minimum, $1,676.72. (That's calculated as follows: the cheapest option wherever possible, and three sets of false lashes — "a bunch," if you will — as well as the five times Tom Ford's $52 lip color.) Yes, once you've bought the tools, they're reusable, and yes, the products do last more than once, but that's still a lot of money to throw down for a facial beat-down. To be clear though, Kim's face is beat to perfection — and she probably gets her products for free these days anyway. At least, you know, when she gets the designer brand name's right:

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@KimKardashian Dear Kim - let us know which one you need and we'll send it to you. And Mr. Armani's first name is Giorgio. — Armani (@armani) June 15, 2015

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Alex Rees Deputy Editor of News I’m the news director here at Cosmopolitan.com, and I could really use a cup of tea right now.

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