The Public Broadcasting Service was founded in 1969 and has been backed by the tax-paying citizenry every year since. Today more than 100 of the publicly-funded television stations are available for viewing on YTTV -- assuming you have $50 a month to throw towards the subscription.

If I squeeze the bridge of my nose any harder my doctor says I'm going to cause permanent nerve damage. Just eat a goddamn salad, guys. You don't need to hack your nutrition.

This is going to wreck the narrative continuity of '80s movies for an entire generation. Breakfast Club will never be the same.

Chipotle reinvented the take-out window. Now you don't even need to go into the restaurant to get diarrhea. Bonus points because of course this place is next door to a UFC Gym.

I don't know who needs to hear this but Uber just straight up set up a multi-million dollar legal fund for all of the sexual harassment cases it figures to be facing in 2020. For real, just take the subway and carry a flare gun like Angelina Jolie.