Employee: Boss, our worries are over! I just got a great idea for a new snack.

Boss: I can’t wait to hear it. You know how bad business has been. We need something new, something fresh. Something that kids are going to gaga for.

Employee: Say no more boss. Now what are the two foods that every kid loves?

Boss: Candy and chocolate!

Employee: Wrong. Salsa and spaghetti.

Boss: Uhh…

Employee: Have you ever seen a baby eat a bowl of spaghetti? They wear the bowl like a hat! It’s adorable.

Boss: So wait, what’s your idea exactly?

Employee: And who doesn’t love salsa?

Boss: The idea Johnson…

Employee: One word, four syllabbles. Salsaghetti.

(Silence)

Employee: Mexican babies are going to love it.

(More Silence)

Employee: I haven’t even told you the best part yet.

Boss: Go on.

Employee: We’ll put a duck on the packaging.

Boss: Why a duck?

Employee: Why not Boss, why not?

(Even more silence)

Boss: Johnson that is a terrible idea.

Employee: Wha wha whaaaaa?

Boss: Salsaghetti? That sounds disgusting. That’s what a train hobo eats for dinner. Is that all you got?

Employee: Are you kidding me? I got plenty of ideas. That was just a warm-up. Uh, check this out.

Boss: Hit me.

Employee: Guacanolis.

(Silence)

Employee: They’re cannolis stuffed with guacamole.

Boss: Why would anyone ever want to eat that?

Employee: Let me answer that question with another question. Why would anyone ever not want to eat it?

Boss: What the fuck have you been doing at work?! I hired you to come up with ideas for a new candy line Johnson but you keep pitching me weird food fusion ideas.

Employee: Boss, kids these days love mashups. You know, they listen to The Beatles mashed up with the Jay Z, so I thought why not mash up everyone’s favorite foods - Italian and Mexican.

Boss: My wife told me not to hire you. She told me, “Honey, he smells like an old cabbage, that’s not a good sign.” But did I listen?

Employee: Risottorritos.

Boss: What?

Employee: Risotto stuffed burritos.

Boss: Johnson, we’re a snack company. We can’t put greasy burritos in a snack aisle at the super market!

Employee: Or can we?

Boss: No. We can’t. Just because you say “or can we” back to me in a higher pitch doesn’t mean we all of a sudden can. We have a business to run. I have pensions to pay.

Employee: Or do we?

Boss: What the hell are you talking about?!

Employee: I’m talking about Gorditaguini’s!

(Silence)

Employee: It’s a gordita filled with linguini.

Boss: Get out.

Employee: Did I mention that we were going to put a duck on the Salsaghetti packaging?

Boss: Yes.

Employee: Did I mention the duck was going to be wearing sunglasses?

(A long beat of silence)

Boss: You brilliant son of a bitch. How did you anthropomorphic animals are my weakness.

Employee: Let’s just say a little birdie with a bow tie told me.

Boss: I don’t even know what the fuck your talking about, but we start production tomorrow.