This parenting thing is hard…

I admit it. I am too tired to take life by the horns. The ride has been rocky this far and I’m not sure that riding into oblivion is really what I want right now. My life has become endless weekends of sports games, play dates, and no relaxation. Shopping trips consist of groceries, birthday presents, and kids’ clothes. I don’t see fashion as I once used to. I fish through skirts, pants, and tops only for my littles now. Me? Not so much. Purses? I wish. Sleep. Well, it just doesn’t happen. I depend on 30 minute naps here and there. Life is just exhausting and managing a family full of spitfires isn’t easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

I remember when I was younger and I dreamed of having my perfect family. We would go on trips every summer. We would have the house, the cars — all the things that are seemingly so important, but really aren’t. What I didn’t realize was with fun comes a price. The easy part was choosing where to travel or what to do. Who ever thought about how to pay. We had parents for that. So at this point I understood that gliding through life wasn’t going to be an option for me. If I wanted the perks, I was going to have to work for it.

So, I did. I worked and worked and then worked some more. The years went on, and the vacations, houses, and cars were beyond far away. They didn’t exist. I worked and then I tried to play, but it wasn’t happening. My energy was lost to a sea of phone calls and worthless paperwork. There were no reaping the benefits of making money — because it only went to bills.

I’m tired and my energy is low. I can’t tell if its from age or from the age I now exist in. Every week is a Ground Hog Day event. Monday starts and Sunday ends it. It’s the same day in and day out. Sometimes I wonder if this is how life will continue, but I always know the answer. Life will be what I make it.

All parents get stuck. I know I’m not alone here. We feel as though the world is circling us, but there’s no place to grab onto to stop moving. It’s an endless cycle that revolves around our stresses and it’s something that makes us uncontrollably tired. It’s not the type of tired that is fixed with sleep. It’s the kind of tired where eating cereal for dinner is perfectly okay or cruising to get coffee in the morning with a messy bun and flannel pants is normal.

There’s nothing wrong with doing it your way. I always thought that taking the bull by the horns involved being energetic and sprite. It’s not about that at all. Taking life by the horns isn’t about outdoing or outplaying anyone. It’s about taking your life and all it’s good, grabbing all you can learn and soak up, and taking it with you on your journey ahead. It doesn’t have to be an abrupt venture or one that requires much strength. It’s about the things learned at the pace at which you feel comfortable.

The vacations, houses, cars, and fun toys no longer carry a meaning of anything, but material. Besides spending time with family on travel, I’ve discovered that cars are really just pretty wallpaper for your house. They are just things, but some rad things at that! Striving for all of these “things” seems petty now. It’s just not important. I am tired of trying to keep up with the runners in the other race. I am tired of being tired. I’ve decided that it is time to run my own race.

I don’t want to be tired on my time. I want to be able to participate in the adventures I choose. The one thing that I have learned from parenting and work life is that the moments are too expensive to afford, but the cheapest to enjoy. They are precious, unlike anything else. So, when running the race and feeling beaten before crossing the start, turn the sound off and think. Life is too hard to be tired. Take your own life by the horns at your own pace, and enjoy what you’ve created. That’s all it takes!