SAUL 'CANELO' ALVAREZ has added the IBF middleweight title to the WBC and WBA belts he 'won' against Gennady 'GGG' Golovkin in 2018, narrowly beating Daniel Jacobs in yet another highly controversial decision.

The Mexican was last seen cutting a smiling Rocky Fielding in half with some crippling body shots to win the WBA 'Worthless' belt* in his super-middleweight debut, after signing a landmark $365million fight deal with DAZN, which apparently is somehow pronounced 'DA-ZONE'.

But Canelo faced an entirely different challenge this Cinco de Mayo weekend in the 'Miracle Man', Daniel Jacobs. In front of a sell-out crowd at the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas, the scene of Canelo's crimes against Golovkin, the wily Jacobs appeared to outbox Alvarez for most of the fight, using his 73 inch reach and 60lb weight advantage to keep the ginger Mexican at bay.

In fact, Jacobs seemingly knocked the Mexican down with a flush right hand in the fifth round. But despite Alvarez's legs buckling and sending him to the canvas in the exact same spot, the suspiciously Latino-looking referee ruled it a slip and deducted a point from Jacobs for sweating too much and thus causing Canelo to fall.

There was a deafening sigh when the bell rang at the end of the 12th round, as the 21,965 fans in the arena bemoaned the inevitable announcement that the judges had declared Canelo the winner, most already making their way towards the exit.

Lo and behold, after being given a few minutes to confirm the payments had been made into their bank accounts (reference 'GOLDENBOY'), judges Glenn Feldman, Dave Moretti and Steve Weisfeld each confirmed scores of 118-111 for the victor by unanimous decision, Saúl 'Canelo' Álvarez.

Jacobs exited the ring before the decision was announced, while an elated Canelo stayed for a post-match interview in which he seemed to read exactly what he said after the Golovkin rematch from cue cards:

"I feel satisfied because I gave a great fight. It was a clear victory. That was a great fight, but in the end, it was a victory for Mexico."

Ringside reporter Teddy Atlas, known for his passionate outbursts when he suspects corruption, was reportedly taken to hospital after screaming so loud he suffered a stress-induced seizure.

CompuBox declined to provide punch stats due to a 'technical error', despite the system quite literally being two men sitting ringside each pushing a button.

*Edit: we have been informed that Alvarez won the WBA 'Regular' belt and not the WBA 'Worthless' belt. We just assumed that's what it was called.