Try not to Panic, but There are Zombie Hookers in Florida.

Broward County, Florida, noted in 19990 for banning sales of the 2 Live Crew album, As Nasty as They Wanna be has another sex controversy – Zombie Hookers.

My intern, Ben’s grandmother, who lives in West Palm, says it’s just a couple of undead girls and they mostly stick to the cemetery. “They’re really doing wonders for cleaning up prostitution in town; although now I need a new accountant.”

The downside is that now the police have time to focus on her underground marjong tournament and fight club.

Zombie Hookers Turning Tricks in West Palm Cemetery

By Thomas Francis, @ The Broward/Palm Beach New Times

Wednesday, May. 12 2010 @ 1:07PM

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/juice/palm_beach/

It’s hard to believe that there’s a crack whore crazy enough to have sex in a graveyard; and it’s even harder to believe that a john would follow her there. That’s a B-movie murder scene waiting to happen.

So we’re skeptical about this WPBF report about purportedly human sex activity in West Palm’s Evergreen Cemetery. Rather, it sounds like we’ve got a group of zombie hookers on our hands.

If that’s the case, a little B-movie research will tell you that the best strategy is to simply let them be. This is a transaction between consenting adults — horny men; hungry zombies. He gets laid. She gets a tasty post-coital snack. Everybody’s happy.

So stay away, pitchfork-wielding mobs. You don’t want to provoke the undead.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 14th, 2010 at 4:10 pm.

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