The Mirror has long been known for their brilliant work covering the transfer market, and today they've come up with yet another gem. According to Matt Law, Chelsea have been given a huge boost in their pursuit of Radamel Falcao, because the Spanish club would be interested in a swap deal for their best player involving £50 million worth of fertilizer. The article (which isn't worth reading, unless you want a laugh) states that Atletico would have interest in taking Fernando Torres back from Chelsea in exchange for Radamel Falcao, but...

Chelsea’s valuation of Torres and his £175,000-a-week wages will provide the biggest stumbling block

Well no kidding. Chelsea's valuation of "take the guy off our hands...he's free and we don't want a dime" is certainly a bit unrealistic, as Torres is well beyond the days where he provided any sort of value on a free transfer. Nobody in their right mind would take Torres at this point without being paid to do so, he'd clearly require a significant fee to send away from Stamford Bridge.

The Mirror go on to cite an un-named "Spanish source" with the following:

"Despite all his problems at Chelsea, Torres is still held in great affection at Atletico and he would be welcomed back."

Again...that's great, but nobody in their right mind is taking any money off of another deal to take Fernando Torres away from Chelsea. Unless he's willing to take a 75-90% pay cut to return to the place where he started his career (and nothing in his past would indicate he would be), Chelsea aren't going to be able to pawn him on Atletico despite the fact that he used to play well for them. He's not able to be viewed as anything other than a massive flop at this point, he's well past the days where he was possibly a world class player, and Chelsea will have the absolute joy of three more seasons after this in which they have the privilege of paying him to contribute absolutely nothing to the squad.

Look, Chelsea may indeed have some interest in signing Radamel Falcao. Despite his age not fitting their current movement towards young superstar talent, he's a fantastic player who isn't at a club where he's likely to compete for a Champions League title. At some point a move to a side in that class is logical, even if it doesn't make a whole lot of sense at the numbers being bandied about. Chelsea would surely want to add him, as he'd be a wonderful addition to the squad.

That said, the two deals with which Chelsea seem to be linked to by the media are ridiculous to say the least. Thibaut Courtois already squashed the rumored swap deal that made very little sense from a Chelsea perspective this week, and the notion of a Torres/Falcao swap makes even less sense from an Atletico angle than a Courtois move made for Chelsea. A Falcao/Torres swap will get readers to look though, so expect these wonderful publications to keep pushing the "move" despite it making absolutely no sense.

This certainly won't be the last time we see some wonderful "news" publication run a story like this, but if you were dumb enough to click the link to the Mirror article (and I'm sorry I had to link it), it really should be the last time you bother to read about it. It won't be the last time this absolute idiocy is written about though, because page views matter. Hooray for page views!