Below are five beliefs or behaviors that are ineffective in managing depression, along with insights into what works.

Telling yourself to snap out of it. “When you’re depressed, it’s common to think that there’s no good reason that you’re having trouble getting out of bed, struggling to concentrate, or feeling so low,” said Lee Coleman, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and author of Depression: A Guide for the Newly Diagnosed.So you might try to motivate yourself by being self-critical or using shame, he said. After all, when you’re depressed, it can feel like you’re swimming in negative, shame-soaked thoughts. While your intentions may be good — you’re trying to motivate yourself to do your best — “the language of criticism, guilt and shame isn’t helpful and usually makes us feel even worse.” If these thoughts arise, Coleman stressed the importance of responding to them and reminding yourself of these key facts. “[D]epression is an illness like any other — one that affects not just your mood, but also your sleep, energy, motivation, and even the way you look at yourself.” Remind yourself that “nobody ever yelled themselves out of feeling depressed.” Instead, take small steps and stay active, he said. Getting better from any illness takes time.

Not revealing what’s going on. When you have depression it’s also common to feel embarrassed or ashamed. Depression “can feel like a fundamental flaw with who you are,” said Coleman, assistant director and director of training at the California Institute of Technology’s student counseling center.Consequently, you may cover up how you’re feeling, which might lead others to get frustrated with you or simply become confused about what’s going on, he said. “Remember that others, even the ones who love you the most, aren’t psychic and may still be operating on old information.” When talking about how you’re feeling, you don’t need to divulge the details or even use the word “depression,” he said. What’s more important is letting them know “what you need while you’re working on feeling better” (some people may automatically ask how they can help). For instance, you might need more time to complete a project, he said.

Underestimating depression. “While many appear to realize that depression has a medical origin, some underestimate exactly how depression impacts their life,” said Deborah Serani, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist and author of the books Living with Depression and Depression and Your Child. Some of Serani’s clients don’t realize that depression affects their “personal, social and occupational worlds.” But depression affects all facets of a person’s life. She shared this example: Personally, you might struggle with significant sadness, self-doubt, fatigue, difficulty concentrating and hopelessness. These symptoms might cause you to withdraw from your relationships or become irritable and impatient with others. At work or school, fatigue, self-doubt and an inability to concentrate might lead to incomplete assignments, poor performance and difficulty remembering important information. When you understand your depression and how it affects your entire life, you’re able to address those symptoms and support yourself with effective techniques. As Serani said, “Having knowledge about an illness that touches your life empowers you.”

Getting lax with treatment. When clients start to feel better, they may become “too casual with their treatment plan,” Serani said. This may start with missing medication doses or skipping therapy sessions, she said.Serani often hears clients say: “Why do I have to keep coming for therapy if I feel better? What’s the big deal if I miss a dose of my antidepressant?” However, it is a big deal. Research has shown that if you stick to your treatment plan and view your illness as a priority, you can become symptom-free, Serani said. But if you don’t, it might take you longer to get better, or your symptoms may worsen. To convey the seriousness of depression, Serani sometimes substitutes the word “depression” with other illnesses, such as diabetes, heart disease and cancer. “Though these are very different illnesses, they all have one thing in common: The need for the patient to respect the seriousness of the illness.” She further noted: “If you had cancer, would you skip chemotherapy? If you had heart disease, would you cancel your appointment with your cardiologist? As a diabetic, would you ignore your blood sugar levels?” Make a commitment to your depression treatment for at least a year, which research suggests, Serani said. “For those with moderate or severe depression, treatment will be longer.”