

At this point, one would think Donald Sterling would just assume everyone's wearing a wire, which is why this new leak courtesy of Radar, in which he tells his anonymous friend that his racist rant was only an attempt to have sex, is so dubious.

We already know Sterling is your archetypal dirty old man from a confusing 2003 deposition regarding a lawsuit filed by he and wife Shelly Sterling against former mistress Alexandra Castro. The suit was an attempt to get back property that Sterling had given Castro. In it, he is adamant that the money he gave Castro was not a gift, but very specifically in exchange for sex. Why Sterling thought he could recover this money is anyone's guess. He also spares no details about where and how the pair had the sex he paid for.

When it comes to V. Stiviano, both she and Stiviano deny that their relationship was anything beyond romantic. Even though Sterling bought her luxury cars and other gifts— which Shelly is suing for in a complaint that accuses Stiviano of seducing Sterling—the two remain adamant that Stiviano was never a mistress.

In the new leaked tape, Sterling is heard telling his mystery friend that while he and Stiviano had never had sex, he sure wanted to. He claims all his babbling about her not taking photos with Magic Johnson or bringing the Lakers legend to his games had to do with jealousy, despite the part in the original recording where he tells Stiviano that he doesn't care if she has sex with him (or any black person) as long as no one see her with them.

"When I'm talking to a girl, I'm trying to have sex with her. I'm trying to play with her ... If you were trying to have sex with a girl and you're talking to her privately, you don't think anybody's there, you may say anything in the world. What difference does it make?"

Other claims he suggests he would have made, if he thought they'd work: claiming to have the world's largest penis or being able to leap over skyscrapers.

In the recording, Sterling even addresses how no one's going to hear what he's just said but his anonymous friend, making it sort of seem like he and his friend made this tape exclusively for the purpose of leaking it.

Whether a truly leaked diatribe from a sad, old man or history's most embarrassing damage control, the outcome of this new tape is... no one cares. A source from the NBA told Radar that Commissioner Adam Silver would not be reversing Sterling's lifetime ban, and they still want him to sell the Clippers.