Pakistan journalist Mehr Tarar. Pakistan journalist Mehr Tarar.

by Mehr TararWith the memories of my first trip to India in April 2013 still as fresh as the smell of fresh-cut grass on a perfect March morning, I was all set to embark on my second trip in December 2013. The last one revolved around my interview with Dr Shashi Tharoor, the very dynamic politician, minister, writer, speaker, and meeting him was an enlightening lesson in the art of honest, solid politics, literary achievements and oratorical excellence. This time I was to meet another dynamic politician, the views of whose are heard, considered, praised/criticised not just in India, but also quite minutely in Pakistan. With a big thank-you to the very gracious Asgar Hussain (without whose assistance the interview would have remained as elusive as the sight of a Delhi road sans traffic), I reached Amritsar on an icy December afternoon to take a flight to New Delhi to interview the Chief Minister of Jammu and Kashmir, Omar Abdullah.Tonight, on an icy January night in Lahore, as I think of my 6-day stay in India, I could not think of a better way to say thank-you to all who infused so much hospitality, warmth, and love in my time there that overwhelmed I had to write. From my interaction with my host in Amritsar, and his wonderful parents, sister, domestic staff, friends to my host in Gurgaon, and his domestic staff, to my meetings with many people in Delhi, it was merely a reiteration of the feeling I got during my last trip to India: most Indians look at Pakistanis with graciousness and a desire for friendship and vice versa. The endless stream of invitations from all over India to me on Twitter was the affirmation of the curiosity Indians have about a regular Pakistan.The lack of real information about Pakistan -- which is generally relayed through newspapers, cinema and television -- is negligible to the extent of being none or distorted. Not only is there an acute dearth of information about Pakistan, there is also the dominant tone of jingoistic media, which playing on the hyper-nationalism of an already suspicious (because of history) nation, works into the dissemination of news nuanced with overtones of belligerence and portents of dooms. Labouring under loud chants of patriotism, the anti-Pakistan media in India displays an unwillingness to allow past hostilities, animosities and enmity to move - or even inch - towards a status quo that the pro-friendship media tries, albeit with little success, to enable. The slights are enhanced. The attacks are made more lethal than they are. The blame is shifted to one side. The peace-seeking media and politicians are scorned by the sabre-rattling voices who refuse to believe that there is more to Pakistan than the fringe segment who considers India an enemy, and plans bloody attacks against innocent soldiers, disregarding the LoC. Ensuring people-to-people interaction - be it cultural, literary, sporting, cinematic, or business - is the only way forward. And interacting with Indians, one can't help but notice the receptivity to the idea of enough-is-enough, and it's time to carve out a new narrative that's the embodiment of positivity and readiness to move beyond what counts as the status quo.This receptivity is not merely what some well-meaning filmmakers put across in their movies, wishing for the ice to thaw between Pakistan and India. This positivity is not merely what some writers try to highlight in their impressions of the two nations, figuring out an idealistic way forward. This is not merely the ambiguous statement of mainstream politicians who mouth more rhetoric than tangible plans to alter the present situation. This is not merely the clichd chants of some good-intentioned media mavericks who say things more for ratings than with the hope of seeing an actual change. This sentiment of enabling a real breakthrough is what I felt in the words of real, pragmatic, no-nonsense regular Indians who represent the majority of a nation of billion-plus today. As soon as I would tell someone I was from Pakistan, the expression changed from politeness to that of genuine interest. The Pakistan that I represent is non-threatening, unassuming, and just what most Indians do not get to see much. It is liberal like the environment they inhabit. It is open-minded like the one they are used to in their metropolitans. It is as tolerant as what they have grown up in, in which Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs, Christians, Parsis et al co-exist. It is receptive to letting go the old paradigm of mistrust, hatred and unacceptability on both sides. I do not speak for the whole of Pakistan to the Indians, but as me, in singular, as I stand before them, I become the new Pakistan to the new Indians. And that is what matters more to me than anything when it comes to the realisation of a narrative that will bring the people of Pakistan and India together.Each of us is an ambassador of that elusive peace that remains the dream of many. Each of us has a voice that matters when it comes to toning down the rants of intolerance in the two countries. Each of us has a role to ensure the formation of a structure that would gradually but steadily replace the old one where every death of a soldier spells a doomsday scenario, every old bullet echoes with the rancour of old wounds festering, and every new slight - imagined or real - threatens to take it all back to the square one of suspicion and loathing.The narrative to change the dynamic is overwhelming. It was in the very amicable interview-session I had with the very gracious Omar Abdullah, the CM of Kashmir, the disputed territory whose very name furrows brows, and chills hearts in the many entrenched in old, unresolved narratives. It is in the men and women in their 20s I hung out with, with their happy stories of friendship with Pakistanis globally. It is in the wistfulness in the voices of a few who have extended families, or family properties in Pakistan, and family tales they grew up on. It is in the devoutness of my driver in Delhi to his god Ganesh, and his faith in Khawaja Nizamuddin Auliya. It is in the wish of all to see relaxation in visa restrictions between Pakistan and India. It is in the unanimous desire in all Indians I meet to visit Lahore. It is in the lack of belligerence that I felt during my delicious idli breakfast at the Taj with a friend who headed an organisation -- once upon a time -- that watched Pakistan-India dynamic very closely. It is in the yummy parathas I had at a Pakistani friend's Indian friend's house, who had many stories of her trips to Lahore. It is in the warmth I received at the Ahuja Sons in the South Extension, which had a special discount for Pakistanis buying their very gorgeous Pashmina shawls from the very gorgeous Kashmir. It is in the sweetness of the supervisor at the Jet Airways counter at the Delhi airport who helped me with my luggage issue (saying she had to do it knowing I was from Pakistan), along with some tips about how-to-drape-a-sari-that-hangs-effortlessly. It is in the invitation to attend a ten-day, big, Punjabi shaadi of my friend in Amritsar and Chandigarh, whose family received me twice like I was family. It is the ideas of his father to open trade between our countries, stressing the huge potential Pakistan has for investment. It is in the similarity of culture, language, behaviour; being in Delhi felt like visiting a beloved aunt's sprawling, noisy, laughter-filled home in Pakistan. It is in the many-worded warmth of perfect strangers who extended invitations via Twitter to me to visit their cities. It is in the smiles and hugs of friends who have redefined India for me, opening the doors to a world that is so familiar yet so different from anything I had ever seen before.The politicians in Pakistan and India need to open bilateral doors of communication, wherein areas of mutual interest can be discussed on the lines of progress and peace. The two High Commissions, respectively in Islamabad and Delhi, need to revisit their visa requirements, enabling travel to become more expansive and less like an American's visit to Russia during the Cold War. The leaders need to move ahead from their lines of rigidity, their Laxman rekhas, to work on tangible, workable solutions to enact long-lasting plans of peace, and to respect the LoC as it stands today. The governments of Pakistan and India owe it to their people to see beyond the paradigm of bloodied history, and etch a new one, focusing on the lessening of militirisation expenses on both sides, in order to focus on the development of their respective countries. It is time to let the ghosts of 1948, 1965, 1971 and1999 be exorcised, and infuse a new spirit, thus allowing our children, unaware of the ugliness that exists today, to be able to see, in a new light, the two countries that are so near, so similar, and yet so apart that they seem oceans apart. Here's to peace and friendship between Pakistan and India?LahoreJanuary 12, 2013