Hello, fellow Mashables. It’s Conan O’Brien, and I’ve got big news. Two hours ago, I purchased Mashable.com. I’ve taken it over. Why did I take it over? Very simple reason.

I’m sick and tired of scanning the Internet looking for any news about technology: Devices, gadgets, what’s coming up, maybe even a rating system for gadgets that are out there. It doesn’t exist on the web and it’s high time it did.

I go to the Mashable and see the atrocious job they’re doing. So I decided it’s time for me to take it over.

That’s why, several hours ago, I called Pete Cashmore and I told him, “You’re out! Get out! You’re through Cashmore! Through! Get out!”

Of course, keep in mind, I was screaming “Get out” from a phone call and he was speaking at home…So it wasn’t clear what I was throwing him out of. We straightened that out.

He said, “You’ll have to buy me out.” I said, “Buy you out? How about thirty-five hundred smackeroos?” He didn’t know what smackeroos were, but we talked again.

There’s going to be a lot of changes around here. So stay tuned, cause I’m in charge now. I’m going to be sending out a lot of tweets!