The Forest of the Lost Souls is a dense and remote forest, Portugal's most popular place for suicide. On a summer morning, two strangers meet within the woods.

Jack: Really kicking things off with a whimper here, huh? I certainly can't say that this movie looks bad, but hot damn it does look like a slog to sit through. When every line uttered could just as easily be narration as dialog, that is not a recipe for a movie about which I am excited. Is this another real forest like the suicide forest in Japan, or are they just aping the idea? Now that I think about it, I'm not sure I want the answer.

Jake: Why are the most popular places for suicide always dense forests? Of all the months for a movie like this (foreign language + black & white) to come out, I think August is the absolute worst in terms of me actually wanting to take the time on it. Give me something with explosions and man eating monsters and beefcakes, please.

Mark: Everyone comes here for a reason SADNESS! I feel like they probably could have handled that transition with just a bit more subtlety, but who am I to criticize? This looks interesting enough, but the foreign language and black-and-white things mean I probably won’t ever have the drive to actually see it. I’m calling it now, at least one of those two people were dead the whole time.