Whether you need to chop some wood, widdle a stick, thin some brush, or kill some zombies, the Gerber Gator Machette will do the trick. At a length of 16.5 inches and weighing 18oz. the Gerber Gator Machette / Zombie Survival Tool will increase your manhood by at least 43%-48%. If you don't instantly grow a beard as soon as your fingers touch the handle of the machette, your money will be fully reimbursed.