Using Fear as your greatest motivation tool

One of the things I hate is the fear of not doing something because I was afraid of it. Whether it’s not speaking to a female, interacting with a stranger, or speaking aloud, I always hated the fact my fears had the best of me.

One of the first fears I ever struggled with was maintaining eye contact with people. I was terrified because I was timid and afraid of what others would think of me.

I believed I had no special value to them and questioned my abilities. This then gave me low self-esteem, and by initiating eye contact with someone, it was like revealing my vulnerabilities to them.

It was until one of my early mentors helped me fight the fears holding me down. I realized I allowed my fears to chain me up and prevent me from becoming a better person. It was extremely difficult to beat this habit because I grown accustomed to my fears and accepted them as the norm.

When I fought my fear to overcoming this burden, I had to keep in mind, “If I allow fear to hold me back on this, what else could it prevent me from doing?” This wasn’t an easy accomplishment and it took persistence to dedicate myself to achieve this task.

It wasn’t the fear of eye-contact that I wanted to beat, it was the idea of beating a fear that had dominated most of my life. I wanted to prove to myself I wouldn’t allow fear to control my destiny. I didn’t want the concept of fear to hold me back from anything I ever wanted.

Such as myself, people have fears in other aspects. It could be speaking to strangers, showing intimacy, public speaking, commitment, or rejection.

Each one of our fears differentiate from different sources, but they all originate from one root, which is failure. We all have a fear of failure, and each one of these fears could eventually lead to other problems if we allow it.

It’s not the fear of public speaking that scares you. It’s the thought of embarrassing yourself in front of a crowd of people who can judge you. It’s failing to receive acceptance from other people after communicating and sharing your hearts with them. It’s because you fear the results of failure that holds you back.

There’s a mindset successful people have, and it’s being realistic to their desires. They’re aware of what they want and are willing to push past their emotions to stick with their thoughts. Rather than giving themselves excuses, successful people use the concept of fear to push themselves forward.

They make choices and decide who they want to be, and their greatest fear is failing to become that person. This is what pushes someone beyond their limits and send them off to the right direction.

You can’t afford to live your life for other people dreams or obtain their approval. Know what you believe about yourself and be willing to die for it. Imagine if someone said to you, “Congratulation! You have all the money you ever wanted. So what do you want to do with your life now?”

This question is a fantasy for many, and to properly perform this exercise, first think about what you want most. What makes you happy, calm, and efficient? What could you do from the early morning until the late evening?

For some, it’s painting, for others, it’s writing, and for others, it’s riding horses. People have so many interests they want to chase after, but life gives them fears such as not having enough money or time to spare. They fear about chasing after careers that won’t pay much, or if others approve of it.

We desire acceptance so much, we sacrifice our own thoughts and beliefs for them. This is a poison mindset that slowly starts to harm our body, mind, and spirit. So learn to embrace the love of your interests, and if it helps, write them down to create a type of commitment for your brain to comprehend.

Once you know your interest, goal, or dream, the next thing to do is question what fears are holding you back from it? Create a self-awareness in your mind to know what points in your life are holding you back from achieving your desires. To list an example of someone’s fears and struggles, read these thoughts:

“I want to write a book, but I have to work, take care of my family, run errands and I never have time. I’m afraid if I start my writing career, I won’t know where to start, who to turn to, or how to find the strength. And if I continue writing my book, I’m afraid it’ll all just be a waste of time and I’ll end up letting down those who had believed in me.”

With a situation like this, start by first believing in yourself and this isn’t meant to be cheesy. It could be annoying when we’re told this phrase repeatedly, but it’s the same as someone telling you to brush your teeth or take your baths.

It’s meant to act as a benchmark to set yourself on while chasing your dreams. Change your belief system so you could give your mind that wake up call.

From there, develop self-discipline by spending at least 15 minutes a day writing a piece of your novel. Never think about the end results. Never think how long it’s going to take to complete. Only focus on writing a piece of your novel every night for 15 minutes.

If you have more time, study how other writers published their work. Study their life so you could copy and follow their steps. Don’t reinvent the wheel.

Learn to become a master over it. Learn to kill the fear of neglecting your other priorities in exchange for your dreams. Kill the fear of failure and fight to ensure it doesn’t chain you down. And if you don’t see the results you desire, don’t take it as a sign to quit.

Take it as a lesson and build from there. A single person shouldn’t attempt to build a house on the first day or week. They must learn to build each piece of the house carefully and to the best of their ability. If you keep that mindset, success and luck are bound to come your way.

Such as the person’s life above, people easily find excuses to not pursue their goals. During my years of refusing to look people in the eyes, I mastered a way of looking at people noses or foreheads instead, pretending I had eye contact with them.

I may have fooled the world, but not myself. It’s not difficult to show the outer world a fake form of happiness, but you could never lie to yourself. You know which parts of your life you’re afraid of and rather than hiding from it, beat it with a hammer and take control. Use fear as your motivational tool by learning to chain it down and take control.

Bare to mind how life will remain the same if you allowed fear to be your leader. Ignore the negative thoughts of the world, your family, or the feelings you conjure. Know what you want logically and ignore all else.

It’s easy to subdue to your feelings, but it takes strength and determination to stay with what your mind wants. Protect your dreams from fear and when you feel fear consuming you, ask yourself these questions:

“Is my life complete? When did my fears about ___________ start and why?” “Am I satisfied where I’m at? What is my fear preventing me from doing?” “Is this the life that I desired? Why am I afraid to go after it?”



