Top of the Mourning

For the last time, your great-great-grandfather’s skull is not a toy, children!

UGH. What is this, boys? Just look at what you’ve done! That skull is an HEIRLOOM, kids. This skull has been passed down from generation to generation in this family, and now look at it! Drawn all over with marker and pen… You should both be ashamed of yourselves!

You know, that skull is supposed to be a stern warning to the enemies of this family that we aren’t to be trifled with. Your great-great-grandfather went through an awful lot of trouble burning down the home of his greatest enemy, tracking him down after he’d escaped, and then collecting that thing from his shoulders, but obviously that means nothing to you, does it? No, you’d rather play “tattoo artist.” What is this, Celtic knotwork? This family isn’t even Irish, for Pete’s sake! I swear, you kids have no respect for history.

Sigh. Well, I’m afraid we’ve really got no other choice but to go out and get another one, do we? Ah, ah, ah, I don’t want to hear it. If you’d wanted your Halloween costumes finished tonight, you should’ve thought about that before this little stunt of yours. Now then, you boys go get the shovel and the bone saw from the garage while I get the tarp from the basement. And start thinking of who qualifies as your worst enemy, ‘cause I’m not driving around all night while you boys fight about it, that’s for sure.

Wear this shirt: if you’ve always wanted a skull or Celtic knotwork tattoo, but always chicken out at the last minute.

Don’t wear this shirt: if the devil finds out you’re dead before you pass through the gates of heaven.

This shirt tells the world: “Alas, poor Paddy O’Shaughnessy. I knew him well, Liam O’Irishname.”

We call this color: Silver Shamrock

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