In an increasingly polarized and divided America, it is vitally important that liberals reach out across the aisle and attempt to understand conservatives. According to Georgia State University Professor Jennifer McCoy, political polarization has a destabilizing effect on Democracy. In an interview with NPR, Professor McCoy describes the dangers of political polarization.

“When voters divide into opposing camps they come to view the other side not any longer as a political adversary. . .but instead as a threatening enemy to be vanquished. And that means that compromise is no longer possible. Negotiations and communications break down. And people begin to . . . be afraid of the other side.”

Pew research shows that Democrats and Republicans are more divided on the issue of gun control than ever before. However, in the wake of the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting people are talking.

Survivors of the Florida shooting are meeting with lawmakers at the state capital Friday, challenging them to take action. Since the shooting, thousands of young people rallied in solidarity against gun violence. A larger protest, March for Our Lives, is scheduled to take place in Washington, DC next month.

Even with all this energy, without compromise and communication, empathy and understanding, Democracy simply doesn’t work. Encouragingly, several prominent Republicans have voiced their support for gun control measures, as well. Donald Trump has even called for a ban on bump stocks. With both sides seemingly willing to listen, the time is ripe to have a genuine conversation about gun control.

Talking about an issue as divisive as gun control is stressful, particularly when the issue is tied up with strong feelings of fear, sadness and identity. Often, the public discourse on gun control devolves into name calling and accusations. Those in favor of stricter control are out of touch liberal elites who want to undermine basic freedoms guaranteed by the constitution. Those in favor of gun rights are conservative wack jobs who care more about their precious guns than they do about human lives.

Both of these characterizations serve to dehumanize us. America’s gun control controversy is much more complicated than these partisan smears suggest. While gun control is typically framed as a partisan issue, research shows that most Americans agree about how best to prevent gun violence.

Right now, gun control is part of the national conversation. Join in. Reach out to someone you disagree with and try to have a real conversation. If you don’t own a gun and you really want to understand the gun control controversy, talk to a gun owner. Here are some suggestions on how to keep the conversation on track:

1. Don’t try to change their minds

Not every conversation about politics has to be a debate. Really. In all likelihood, you aren’t going to change anyone’s deeply held beliefs about gun control in a single conversation. If you go in with the goal of trying to change someone’s opinion, you are probably setting yourself up for failure.

Instead of flourishing a bunch of gun violence statistics or laying down a platform for stricter gun control, try to understand their side of the argument. Ask them why gun rights are important to them. Be curious and listen with patience. You might be surprised by what you hear.

For many, gun ownership is an important part of their cultural identity as Americans. Indeed, The American revolution was fought, at least in part, by independent civilian militias. Historically, the right to bear arms is deeply connected to the rebellion which won America its independence from England. In fact, about three quarters of gun owners say that gun ownership is essential to their freedom.

The cultural importance of guns is woven throughout american history. Take popular narratives about the wild west as an example. Part of this narrative is mythic, but it’s impossible to deny that guns would have been a necessary part of life for many American homesteaders settling the western states. Today, guns represent the values of self-sufficiency, independence and freedom embodied by early settlers, revolutionaries, and pioneers. For many rural Americans today, this is still true. Hunting is still an important source of food for many. It is important to recognize that for many gun owners, any conversation about gun control might be seen as an attack on their identity as Americans.

Fear might also play a role in this conversation. The 67% of gun owners cite protection as the number one reason they own a gun. This makes a certain amount of sense. After all, out of all of the developed nations, America has the highest rate of mass shootings. 44% of American adults report that they personally know someone who has been shot with a gun. An additional 23% say that they know someone who has been threatened with a gun. In rural areas, where law enforcement response might be slower, owning a gun could be a matter of common sense. For these people, gun ownership might be an important part of what makes them feel safe and secure.

68% of gun owners use firearms for sport. In college, a good friend of mine was a member of the local gun club. Initially this information surprised me. I had come to know my friend as a passionate advocate for progressive causes. It turns out that shooting was an integral part of how he connected with his family.

Once a week, my friend would go shooting with his grandfather. It was a skill they practiced and honed together since he was a young boy. My friend also happened to be quite good at it. He could shoot 50 clay pigeons out of the air without missing a single shot. An achievement I couldn’t help but feel impressed by.

2. Find Common Ground

This might seem like a daunting task. But the fact is that most Americans agree more than they disagree when it comes to gun control policy. 89% of polled adults agree that the mentally ill should be prevented from purchasing guns. 84%, including 77% of gun owners, agree that guns sold at gun shows should be subject to background checks. 68% and 65% of adults agree that banning assault-style weapons and high capacity magazines would be a good idea, respectively.

After the last several years of bloody mass shootings, even some Republican lawmakers are starting to question their stance against gun control. Ohio Gov. John Kasich, a 2016 Republican presidential candidate, recently made his stance on gun control clear on CNN’s “State of the Union”.

“Common sense gun laws make sense. I’m not calling for an outright ban. I’m talking about small steps that can be taken that can be effective. And congress ought to do it.”

Kasich wasn’t the only GOP politician taking a second look at the GOP’s strict support of gun rights. Rep. Carlos Curbelo (R., Fla.) spoke about a potential sea change taking place in his party.

“There are a lot of republicans who are prepared to support reasonable, common-sense gun-safety laws — new laws, stronger laws that protect rights for responsible citizens, people who are responsible gun owners, but prevent those who want to do harm to innocent people from obtaining these weapons.”

However, many gun owners view the issue of gun violence as a multifaceted problem. In the aftermath of the Stoneman shooting, many voiced their support for a holistic approach to solving gun violence that includes mental health programs, poverty alleviation, and better enforcement of existing gun control laws.

Dylan Redshaw, a Stoneman Douglas student, spoke about multiple approaches to curb gun violence at an anti-gun rally in Fort Lauderdale.

“We just need age restrictions and high-quality, accessible mental health institutions, and higher checks when people are trying to purchase these weapons,” he argued.

Many republicans, including Donald Trump, stressed the importance of mental health care as part of the solution to mass shootings. Donald Trump has also voiced his support for tougher background checks and a ban on bump stocks.

Other republicans are calling attention to so called, “red flag” laws as part of the solution to gun violence. Such laws allow local authorities to temporarily confiscate firearms from people who have been identified by friends, family or law enforcement as being at risk of harming themselves or others. If such a law had been in place in Florida, it could have potentially prevented the deaths of 17 students at Stoneman Douglas High School.

Republican State Representative Arthur O’Neil, of Connecticut, one of only five states with red flag laws, announced that he would write to his colleagues in other state legislatures to urge them to adopt similar laws.

“Connecticut’s risk warrant law can have an immediate and positive effect to reduce gun crimes,” Rep. O’Neill said in the statement. “Hopefully, by bringing more attention to this already strong legislation we can reduce these incidents and prevent another tragedy.”

3. Make yourself heard, too

Once you’ve gained a little understanding about where the other side is coming from and you’ve found some common ground, It’s a good time to make your beliefs heard as well. Share your fears and concerns about gun violence.

Now might also be a good time to lay down a few statistics about gun violence:

Make it clear that you feel these facts deserve consideration, but reinforce the fact that everyone is ultimately on the same side: preventing avoidable death and tragedy.

4. Know when to stop and take a break

Talking with someone who disagrees with you about a controversial issue like gun control can be stressful. If you or the person you are talking to is having trouble staying calm, it might be time to talk a break. Here are some signs that it could be time to end the conversation.

You feel angry and are having difficulty hiding it: Take a deep breath. It might be better to change the topic of conversation at this point or make a joke to diffuse the tension.

Take a deep breath. It might be better to change the topic of conversation at this point or make a joke to diffuse the tension. You are debating instead of having a conversation: If the discussion becomes point, counter point rather than question and answer, it might be time to call it quits. Tell them that they’ve given you a lot to think about and leave it at that.

If the discussion becomes point, counter point rather than question and answer, it might be time to call it quits. Tell them that they’ve given you a lot to think about and leave it at that. There is name calling, labeling or personal attacks: This is a sure sign that you need to find a hard out of this conversation.

This is a sure sign that you need to find a hard out of this conversation. You’ve both said what you’ve wanted to say and neither one has changed your mind: This is as close to a win as you can reasonably hope for in a conversation like this. Hopefully you both learned something and can walk away with a greater appreciation for the other side.

If any of these things happen, it’s probably a good idea to change the topic and make a graceful exit.