Attention! This is Privates, a new game from the developers of Time Gentlemen, Please! coming to the PC and Xbox 360, one that will give many hardcore video gamers a second chance to encounter a vagina.


Zombie Cow Studios, the developer behind the vaginal and anal action of Privates, explains the downloadable title as a game "in which you lead a teeny-tiny gang of condom-hatted marines as they delve into peoples' vaginas and bottoms and blast away at all manner of oozy, shouty monsters." Expect platforming and twin-stick arcade shooting that has your prophylactic wearing warriors blasting "all manner of grotty infections" through a forest of kinky, curly hairs and infested holes.

The game is being funded by Channel 4, so don't expect to pay anything for the PC version. The Xbox 360 version "will probably cost a little bit of money, we'll see" says Zombie Cow.


See just how not-safe-for-work Privates is in the gallery below.