This is the part of the article where I tell you I was not one of the lucky people inside that theater tonight. So, I'm responding to these tweets just as you are, and the one above is particularly fascinating. What are the surprising moves? Were we lied to about who the last Jedi is? Did we get any answers about Snoke? I have about a thousand guesses. I need to text Eric and see if he'll tell me, except, deep down, I know that's a terrible idea that future me will loathe.