Get Out of Bed

This first suggestion may seem overly simple, ridiculously easy, and pretty darn obvious, but when I’m really struggling emotionally this beginning step can be the hardest (and, if we’re being perfectly honest, the absolute worst). However, this is the most important step because, in my experience, our beds can become prisons where we hold ourselves captive and force feed ourselves sorrow and misery for hours, and sometimes even days, on end. So, in order to avoid doing that to yourself, just get your butt out of the bed, and, at the very least, move yourself to the couch. Plus, in order to complete steps two through ten, you need to be up and about- so get up and get moving!

(Pro tip: Utilize some external motivation to get yourself to up and moving: a scrumptious breakfast, a cup of coffee, your favorite show on Netflix, etc.)

Take a Shower

Again- simple, easy, and obvious unless you’re really really struggling. Self care is absolutely huge, so just do it! Showering may feel scary and overwhelming and like the very last thing you want to do, however, it has the potential to make you feel infinitely better. Wash the emotional grime out of your mind and soul as you wash the physical grime off of your body. Sometimes, I find comfort in just watching the soapy water run down the drain and imagine that my negative thoughts and feelings are mixed in with it and are now being carried far far away from me.

I have found being clean to be a truly magical experience, because, after a good shower, I honestly feel like a whole new woman.

(Pro tip: Use soaps whose scents you find pleasant- it can make the whole shower prospect much more appealing, plus, smelling good is the bomb!)

Get Dressed

Now that you’re all clean and smelling nice, it’s time to put on something other than those week old pj’s with the mystery stains. (Is it sweat? Is it drool? Is it juice? Who knows… )

Depending on your energy level, there are two ways you can go with this step: comfy or cute. Some days call for comfort- yoga pants and your most loved cozy t-shirt will all of those positive memories attached; other days call for dressing up a bit- your favorite dress or maybe jeans and that new top you’ve been waiting to wear. Either way, just putting on clean clothes can feel like a fresh start and give you the kick in the butt you need to tackle the rest of your day.

(Pro tip: Sometimes, pushing yourself to go farther than you think you can go can be great and super healthy, so, if you’re feeling courageous, maybe try dressing up a bit even though you really just want to stick to sweats. If you simply can’t do it though, no worries! This is not a race or a competition; it’s all about improving yourself and doing your best.)

Eat Something

And, by something, I really mean anything. It doesn’t have to be that ridiculously healthy green smoothie you’ve been meaning to make yourself try out or an elaborate time and energy consuming meal. Just feed yourself something; nourish your body, and, in turn, nourish your mind and spirit.

In addition to being important for your physical being, eating can actually be a pleasurable experience. So, I suggest trying to be truly mindful while you eat. Take your time to really experience your food with your senses. You can even try to come up with creative words and phrases to describe how your food looks, smells, and tastes. This kind of activity will encourage mindfulness, and, as a bonus, take your mind off of all those yucky thoughts that have been clogging up your mind.

(Pro tip: While you may feel better if you choose something healthy, don’t put too much pressure on what you eat, just that you eat. Baby steps!)

Get Outside

Getting outside is great when you’re feeling down. The sunshine, the fresh air, the sights and sounds and smells- they’re all great for boosting your mood and distracting you from those all-consuming depressed, anxious, generally gross and unwanted thoughts and feelings.

If you simply can’t muster the energy and motivation to get your body outside, a great alternative is to just open your blinds and let some of the sunshine into your environment.

(Pro tip: Being mindful of your environment- noticing how it interacts with all of your senses- is a really great way to both practice mindfulness and to distract yourself. It can even start the process of dragging you out of your rut- score!)

Phone a Friend

Friends are wonderful gifts, so utilize them! An important caveat to this suggestion, however, is that you really really really would benefit most from being honest with your friend(s). Playing the B.S.- “how are you?” “fine, you?” “I’m good”- game is really not all that helpful. So, choose someone you trust and feel comfortable with, really let them into your life and your struggle, and just allow them to love on you via the phone.

(Pro tip: If you don’t feel up to talking to someone and holding a physical conversation, you can at least text a friend and communicate that way.)

Journal

You don’t have to be a gifted or passionate writer to benefit from writing things down. Heck, you don’t even have to write if you don’t want to! By journal, I mean do whatever allows you to express yourself: write, draw, paint, collage, etc. The purpose is to get all of those yucky, painful, horrid thoughts and feelings out of you.

Journaling- of any kind- is a beautiful tool, because it gives you the opportunity to physically remove from within you the negative thoughts and feelings that are plaguing you and bringing you down and allows you to physically place them somewhere else- usually a piece of paper. I find this process incredibly cathartic, especially when I truly allow myself to let loose and put zero pressure on my expression. It doesn’t have to look or sound beautiful and flowery; it doesn’t have to be profound; it doesn’t even have to make sense. It just has to be honest.

(Pro tip: If you are having a hard time putting your thoughts and feelings into words or images, try utilizing a journal prompt or two. There are tons of prompts online for both writing and art journaling for all sorts of topics, feelings, and experiences.)

Get Inspired

I have found that getting inspired by other people who are living happily and healthily can be really helpful- as long as I don’t get sucked into playing “the comparison game” (which no one wins, by the way… so just don’t do it!). The point of this exercise is not to compare your life to the lives other people plaster all over the internet or on television or in books or magazines, but, instead, to draw encouragement and motivation from others and even to get an idea or two about how to live a more happy and healthy life.

I, like many people my age, love using Pinterest and Tumblr and even YouTube for this purpose, as well as witty and sass-filled self-help books (current fav: You Are A Badass - Jen Sincero).

(Pro tip: Try to be mindful of what you are choosing as your inspiration. Think about the deep down reason why you find certain images or sentiments or videos or individuals to be inspiring, and decide how you can incorporate aspects of those nuggets of truth and wisdom into your own life. This can make you feel empowered and more in control, as well as help you to formulate a game plan for emerging from your rut.)

Write Yourself a Love Letter (Or, at the Very Least, a Like Letter)

I am fully aware that this suggestion may sound strange and may be quite unpopular, but I promise you it can be extraordinarily beneficial when you’re feeling down. It doesn’t even have to be in the form of a letter, even just a list of things you love (or, at least, like) about yourself will do the trick.

In my experience, receiving positive affirmation is crucial for developing and maintaining positive self esteem. And, while you can receive and benefit from receiving this affirmation from others, I find that it is exponentially more powerful when I receive positive affirmation from myself. In my opinion, this is because it can be really easy for positive comments coming from the outside to go in one ear and out the other or for them to be brushed aside as invalid, BUT, when this affirmation and positivity come from the inside it’s pretty darn hard to deny its truth and validity.

(Pro tip: The moral of the story is to love your perfectly imperfect self, gosh darnit!)

Treat Yo Self (Within Reason of Course)

The “within reason” portion of this suggestion is crucial- you don’t want to cause yourself more stress by blowing your budget. However, it is nice to treat yourself once in a while: buy yourself a cup of coffee at your favorite coffee shop; go get a yummy smoothie; take yourself out to eat at your favorite place; buy yourself something new to wear when you’re feeling better; download a new song or purchase a new book that inspires you. You can also treat yourself in ways that won’t cost you any cash: take yourself to a free museum in your area; take a walk around a beautiful neighborhood; have a picnic in a local park.

(Pro tip: Choose something really special that you don’t do for yourself very often. The more special the activity is, the more “treated” you will feel.)

Just remember- you can do this, and you will make it through this difficult time. I believe in you!