Part Four: Ecstasy

At some point during the night it began storming. Puddles like mirrors riddled the sidewalks reflecting back the monster I’ve become. I swear everyone I passed could read the guilt on my face, and they were judging me accordingly. My gaze drifted over everything I passed unable to focus on anything. The city was gray and bleak. It was like the rain washed away all the color in the world.

I had less than half a day left to find a new victim. Just the thought of killing again made me sick to my stomach. Although as horrifying as the concept was, the idea of watching Emarosa suffer for all of eternity was more horrifying. I took refuge from the rain in the shadow of a store awning, and began to scan the streets looking for the next sacrifice. Then I saw him.

My eyes had been following a particularly vulnerable looking young woman when a man jumped her from a nearby alley. With his filthy hand over her mouth he dragged her struggling form out of sight. He thought no one had seen him. He thought he would get away with whatever heinous act he was fixing to commit. This was someone I could kill. Someone who deserved to be killed.

I wasted no time crossing the street, and following them into the darkness. I stood about six or seven feet behind him waiting for the right moment. I watched him strike her twice in an attempt to get her to stop fighting while he tore her off her pants. Now. In one swift motion I pulled the revolver from my waistband and closed the distance between us. I raised the gun and brought the butt of the weapon down across the back of his head. The man turned to face me, his scab coated face twisted into an expression of fear as I pressed the still hot barrel against his forehead. I barely noticed the woman as she ran off. I think she thanked me, but it didn’t register.

Suddenly I remembered last night. I remember I smiled. I smiled before I slaughtered that man. I was smiling now. I couldn’t help it. I felt euphoric. I felt powerful.

“Wh-Who are you?” He was crying now. “P-p-please man I’m so-” He was cut off by the gun’s deafening report. The sound echoed across the narrow alley, like thunder warning the world of an impending storm. I dropped to one knee, and cut open his neck to complete the ritual then I turned and walked away, letting the rain wash away the spatter of filth left on the wall behind him.

Before I exited the alley I noticed someone watching me from the other end. Someone I would recognize anywhere. I made eye contact with him just for a second, and motioned towards the corpse. “He deserved this!” I shouted “I can play by your rules without forfeiting my humanity! He is the monster. Not me!”

I’m not sure which one of us I was trying to convince.