This is about traveling in coach. In first class, the strategy is: Order free drinks from a flight attendant who actually attends to you, all from your relatively comfortable chair. The only thing you have to worry about in first class is becoming too drunk. In coach, it's the opposite: you're just trying to feel better than uncomfortable. Which is why we have a drink in the airport bar first.

All airport bars seem to have Maker's or Glenfiddich, so we usually order one of those. And the waitress or bartender always asks if we'd like a double for two dollars more. And we say yes. Because a "double" (it's never really double) is really just the right amount. It makes bearable the indignity of shuffling through a jet bridge. It almost makes it fun. And what's two dollars?

So, the plane. Let's say you're traveling to somewhere, not from somewhere. So you won't be driving after the flight. And let's say you have a window seat, if only because it's nicer that way. The window seat is the preferred drinking seat. You have a view. And drinking with a view makes your inebriation seem expansive. Which is helpful when you're crammed into an airplane seat. (Yes, drinking often requires visiting the, uh, lavatory, and the window seat is a pain to be in when you have to visit the, uh, lavatory, but this is why, on a flight, we drink less of something powerful-liquor-instead of more of something weak-beer. See below.)

We generally order two bottles of liquor. We won't necessarily start drinking the booze right away. We might not drink them at all. But we have them. Some people need an inflatable pillow around their necks. Some people need a word search book. Some people need Xanax and Coldplay. We need two tiny bottles of single malt Scotch nestled in the seat-back pocket.

(Or maybe gin. Really, the only time we drink gin and tonics is on an airplane. We're not sure why. And why don't airlines stock tequila? Seems strange to us. You can get amaretto on an American Airlines flight, but no tequila. You can get bloody mary mix. You can get cranapple. Rule: In the hierarchy of necessary beverages, tequila beats cranapple. Anyway, thank you Frontier, JetBlue, US Airways, and Virgin, all of which stock passable tequila.)

So, usually we will order the two bottles of Scotch and a cup of ice. (Not "rocks." Seems odd to call ice "rocks" on a plane.) Sometimes we drink it neat. But if we have the sense that we won't be getting service again any time soon, we pour the booze over the ice, so it lasts.

Now, we've never done what we're about to suggest, but we think we might sometime. Cocktails. After a review of the beverage lists of all the major airlines flying in the United States, we determined that the following interesting-but-not-fussy cocktails could be made by you in your seat on almost any flight.

• A brandy, rum, or whiskey sour: booze, plus a little lemon juice squeezed from the little lemon wedges they have, some sugar (that you have to let dissolve, which requires patience), and ice

• Tom Collins: gin, sugar, lemon juice, club soda, ice

• Gin Rickey: gin, lime juice, club soda, ice

• White Russian: vodka, Kahlua, cream (or Bailey's), ice

• Presbyterian: equal parts Scotch and ginger ale, ice

We're making a Presbyterian on our next flight. Because it's easy. And because a Presbyterian is way better than it sounds.

A note on consumption: We rarely drink more than two nip bottles of liquor on a flight when we're sitting in coach. If it's a long flight, we'd like to sleep during most of it or at least read a lot of our book, not drink. Anyway, the point was never to get drunk but to get comfortable. We've empirically determined that there are few more pleasurable sensations than sitting in a window seat on an airplane and being almost done with a plastic cup of liquor, looking out at a sunset that either lasts too long or is over too quickly. The best way to make that feeling last is to keep staring. It won't last, but still.

It won't last because the plane has to land at some point. And before the plane can land, the Federal Aviation Administration requires that you stop drinking. Helpfully, this requirement is enforced at the exact moment when it's advisable to stop drinking on an airplane: around thirty minutes before you have to lift things and make decisions again. By the time the seat belt sign is turned off, you're not feeling drunk. You're just feeling pretty good. And on an airplane, pretty good is amazing.

Ross McCammon Ross McCammon is former special projects editor at Men’s Health.

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