A happy American Idol judging family? Dream on.

But according to former American Idol judge Steven Tyler, harmony should be the ideal. Want that peacefulness explained via a sort-of gross birth metaphor? Tyler’s got you covered:

“I know that they’ve got something going on on the judges’ panel, [and] it shouldn’t be that, it should be just the opposite: They should have something going on, which is called ‘camaraderie,’ ” he said in an interview with MTV. “They should have something going on so thick and beautiful that they can lay it over the new talent that’s trying to birth itself. It needs to be birthed, not judged by ‘entertainment’ factors, it needs to be judged by people that [are] honest, true, that have the ‘it’ factor. Not the ‘it’ factor because they can fight. The f— is that all about?”

The rocker goes on to say, “These kids…they’re scared to death; you’re not going to get the best [out of them]. … If it was Bob Dylan, Nicki Minaj would have had him sent to the cornfield! Whereas, if it was Bob Dylan with us, we would have brought the best of him out, as we did with Phillip Phillips. Just saying.”

He’s just saying! Don’t be angry! Tyler just thinks judges should be worried about picking winners, not picking on each other via silly feuds. (A rep for American Idol had no comment about Tyler’s remarks.)

Naturally Minaj has weighed in on this latest drama on Twitter. The rapper wrote in a series of tweets, “Steven Tyler said I would have sent Bob Dylan to a cornfield??? Steven, you haven’t seen me judge one single solitary contestant yet! I understand you really wanted to keep your job but take that up with the producers. I haven’t done anything to you. That’s a racist comment. You assume that I wouldn’t have liked Bob Dylan??? why? black? rapper? what? go f*** yourself and worry about yourself babe.”

Later, she wrote, “LOL lets make him a shirt that says ‘No Coloreds Allowed’ then escort him down 2 Barbara Walters so he can tell how he was threatened w/guns.” [She’s presumably referring to the part of her feud with Mariah Carey when Barbara Walters got involved by repeating Carey’s claim that Minaj threatened her.] “When Steven 1st went on Idol he was ridiculed by his peers & fans alike. Called a sell out. So what does he do? Ridicule the next judge.”

Poor Keith Urban. When there’s this much drama when all of these people are on their own, what’s going to happen come January? American Idol is no doubt hoping you’ll tune in to find out.