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PHILANTHROPISTS, lobbyists, financiers, CEO’s and world leaders all gathered at the World Economic Forum in Davos this week to discuss the risks posed by too much information being funnelled down to the lower classes via the internet and social media channels.

Speaking with their mouths, political leaders lined up to slam social networks for gaining more power than they do, insisting that investors should boycott social media platforms that don’t delete and censor perceived views that are not in line with their own.

“Facebook has more influence and reach than any world government, and that’s bad,” British Prime Minister Theresa May insisted, “the lower classes now have the ability to see every mistake we make and every unedited lie uttered in real time.

“How are we supposed to divide and conquer if all the lower classes are joined together in harmony under one single global platform?” she then asked a now flabbergasted audience of megalomaniac billionaires and world leaders, “even the working class are starting to read the news, news that we didn’t create or sign off on with Rupert, news that’s exposing many of our secrets – fake news”.

Echoing the British leader’s remarks, philanthropist George Soros, who is allegedly connected to over 50 ‘real news’ publications, said Facebook and Google have become “obstacles to innovation” and are a “menace” to society whose “days are numbered”.

“When it comes to information, we cannot entrust people lesser than us with the ability to make their own decisions,” said the 87-year-old, who spends millions of euros every year influencing people’s opinions for the financial gain of himself and his peers, “these social networks allow the lower classes to share their own information, thus influence how people think and behave around us – which is kinda our job”.

“Facebook has given the power of the media to the people, and now they’re using it against us by exposing our lies and giving them the ability to ask questions publicly; this needs to stop before they start getting any big ideas, like forcing the 1% to share our wealth with those who need it,” Soros concluded, before bowing to a standing ovation from the world elite.