Unfortunately there are more entries above mine. A lot more.

A lunatic who is garrulous and unswervingly honest? She must be fun at parties.

Is Ethiopian coin not worth enough to die for?

I decide to have my son marry Adela of the Holy Roman Empire. Adela is an older sister to the current Kaiser and would carry an alliance with the HRE. I'm hoping that the Muslims will take the trouble to notice this alliance and fear the Holy Roman Empire as my protector. Whether the Catholic Kaiser will really care to help a “heretic” branch of the Orthodox Church is another question. How the Muslims see it is what’s important here. Anyway, my son and Adela are both Elusive Shadows, so they will have all sorts of interesting dinner conversations.At first I did feel a bit bad for Adela, though. She’s going from the green forests of her birth land to... well, just look at it. Gondar is something of an acquired taste.So I started to feel badly for her, but then I noticed that she absolutely hates the Kaiser… because she’s both envious and ambitious. She should be a lot of fun. Anyway, at least Gondar won't have her brother around. She should thank me.Selfless father that I am, I made sure my son was taken care of first. Now I look for a bride for myself. I’m looking for someone too old to give birth, as I don’t want the risk of my son getting assassinated. Some extra diplomatic help would be nice, in the probably vain hope that the infidels will grow to like me. Also, being gregarious, I would like a little companionship in the twilight years of my life. Then I notice the perfect choice:That's right--the mother of the Kaiser of the Holy Roman Empire, Kaiserin Agnes. Apparently the Kaiser is OK with sending his mother off to marry the monarch of a "heretical" sect in the arid mountainous region practically surrounded by multitudes of well-armored infidels. In any case, it’s perfect because she is 46 and too old for children, she will contribute a bit diplomatically, and she and Adela will remind each other of home. Of course, the fact that Adela was the bastard daughter of a woman that committed adultery with Kaiserin Agnes’s husband should make family meals even more interesting. I dispatch both these marriage offers to the Kaiser, wondering if he will simply send the two women back immediately instead of wasting time by writing first.One of my advisers reminds me that my Crown Authority is very permissive: any vassals would have complete autonomy to do whatever foolish things pop in their head. I actually have no landed vassals yet, but when I do I want them to do whatever foolish things pop inhead, so I change this to Limited Crown Authority. Also, with only two dynasty members in existence, I need to be able to assign army officers.A ray of sunshine! Although it pains my proud heart to admit this, my economy, military, and culture are about as primitive as possible. … But my Muslim neighbor to the East is very technologically advanced, giving some of my counties all sorts of research boosts simply from being next to him. Given we will be at war soon, it is fortunate that all his massive tech is in the peaceful categories of economy and culture. Silly enlightened infidel!On the military side of things I compare favorably with my immediate neighbors: That’s me at the top! I try to ignore the fact that The Shia Caliphate is just a month-and-a-half march from the North… unless they use boats, in which case they could be at my doorstep in two weeks. I quickly pack off my masterful chancellor, Mayor Tariku of Shewa, to Quena to pay our respects to Caliph al-Mustansir. I take some heart in the fact that the good Caliph is trusting, kind, and craven. Maybe we won’t all die horrible deaths.Happy day! Agnes and I are married. You know there is a lot of room for growth when you actually have to deliberate on 15 gold versus 50 prestige. Also, apparently marrying an attractive woman ten years younger than I am has stimulated me: within a couple of days I become ambitious. There’s life in me yet!Having become ambitious goes immediately to my head, however, as I have grown tired of my wife (of one whole week) and consider trying to seduce a courtier. Zeina is attractive enough… if you never mind the fact that she’s 16, chaste, and a lunatic. Amazingly, one of my options would be to tell my wife that I want to seduce Zeina, hoping that my wife will not mind. Even more amazingly, apparently there would be a 50% chance that she will be cool with this. Instead I prudently use deceit to seduce this courtier. Did I say prudent? Actually that would have been not doing anything at all. But I’m ambitious and I want it all right now. I’m king after all, by the One-Natured God!I knew I should have known better, so it is with some stoicism that I accept her response when she spurns me as too old and ugly for her. Would it kill her to use a little tact though? Am I that ugly? I feel a little better when I remember she is stark raving mad.Because I now dislike her I want her out of my sight. I would be lying if I said it didn’t occur to me to marry her off to some Orthodox kingdom where they would hate her; maybe to some monarch even older and uglier than I. But I did do better by her: King Malcolm of Scotland apparently is into exotic crazy ladies, as he wholeheartedly agrees to marry her. She could have done worse, but I neglect to ask her opinion on the arrangements.Apparently my sending two marriage proposals confused the slow Kaiser, and he forgot all about my proposal regarding my son. I remind him of this. But now it is my son’s turn to be spurned when the Kaiser rebuffs the marriage offer to Adela. I’m sure my wife Agnes at least is relieved. I look in vain for a good bride and can’t find anyone young enough, with good traits, and with alliance connections.Finally I pick Unia of Auvergne simply because she’s lustful. With only two dynasty members, +20% fertility is sounding good right now. I can’t help noticing right away, though, that she hates my son and me. That’s OK, she’s universally hated by my people, so it’s reciprocal. She will make a great queen someday. To help her along, I demand that she convert to the true faith of Monophysiticism. Unfortunately she hates me too much to convert. I point out to her that she hates me only because I’m not Catholic. If she were already Monophyscist she would like me and be happy to convert. This logic does not impress her. As Plan B, I ask the overly serious Bishop Haeran of Qundi to set up a local inquisition in the capital to persuade “all the nonbelievers among the populace” to convert. As Unia is the only nonbeliever in the entire kingdom, I hope she gets the point. Bishop Haeran looks a little too eager at this project, which gives me an uneasy feeling.It only occurs me after Unia joins our happy community that I failed in my attempt to ally my kingdom with anyone that would give the infidel hesitation to crush me. Truly we are standing alone in a hostile world. Well, mercenaries can always be found to provide protection that is lacking. Perhaps I should curb my wastrel tendencies and save up a vast war chest so I can summon a mighty army at a moment's notice.By the One-Natured God! Not one of the mercenary companies take the trouble to ply their services down this far south? I can hire no mercs! This is very, very bad. Now I understand my wastrel trait a little more. Why the hell save money if you can’t hire mercenaries? Why the hell save your money if you’re doomed anyway. My noticing of this is good timing, because as it happens the drums of war are already beating nearby and land has been changing hands. Not every ruler apparently makes converting rude in-laws their number one priority.