Only a fool would describe 2011, the year that has just expired, as an eventful one. Perhaps the most notable thing about it was that nothing at all happened in May. An uncanny confluence of political inaction, celebrity marital stability and seasonally average weather left the papers without anything to report but their own lack of inspiration. Few will forget the Independent's brave, but as it turned out commercially unsuccessful, "See Yesterday" edition.

Nevertheless, some events did occur. It's not for me to comment on serious matters – the sudden disappearance of all wasps or the eye-wateringly pointless 3D episode of Coronation Street – but, as we limp out of one stagnant year into the next, I'll take a moment to remember some lighter stories of the past 12 months.

Lib Dems live up to suicide pledge

"Everyone had been calling them the party of broken promises for months," complained Inspector Adam Jenkins of East Sussex police, responsible for the security of Beachy Head, "so when we got the letters, I'm afraid we didn't take them seriously."

Charles Kennedy's social worker agreed: "Look, the guy was a time-waster. I was expecting a bit of self-harm at most."

These were among the reactions when the bodies of 20 Lib Dem MPs, largely from the left of the party, washed up on the beach after their 2011 party conference. It was a shocking morning for the manager of Eastbourne pier: "It was low tide and I was checking the struts for drowned senior citizens when I noticed that one of them was Menzies Campbell."

All of the suicides' letters expressed deep distress at the direction their party has taken since entering into government with the Conservatives, except for ex-MP Lembit Opik's which was largely directed at Welsh singer-songwriter Duffy, whom he described as "the perfect cross between Sian Lloyd and a Cheeky Girl", and also contained an idea for a daytime quiz show.

More WikiLeaks revelations

The debate over transparency and freedom of information intensified in November when WikiLeaks's controversial editor, Julian Assange, currently fighting extradition to Belgium on a charge of having used the lavatory in a bar where he failed to buy a drink, published details of what everyone in the world would be getting for Christmas.

"Secrets are used to control people," he said. "Wrapping paper is one of the most oppressive inventions in human history. As for the Christmas cracker, it is a highly dangerous form of violent concealment. In order to satisfy the human need to discover what is kept hidden, one must actually trigger an explosion. Hence al-Qaida."

Stephen Hawking in Strictly Come Dancing

"It's a competition! I'm staying in until the public votes me out!" insisted Professor Hawking in early December as he advanced to the semi-final stages of the competition. It started as a bit of fun, with the former Lucasian professor's state-of-the-art wheelchair performing pre-programmed pirouettes and turns and even, after round three, being fitted with a spangly fork-lift attachment, allowing him to raise his partner, Aliona Vilani, high above his head in a fast spin. Even Craig Revel Horwood's controversial description of the pair's tango as "like a prostitute dragging a shopping trolley out of a canal" was taken in good humour, as was Alesha Dixon's heartbreaking attempt – after a routine in which Hawking had been lowered on to the dance floor on wires – to deliver a pre-written joke about string theory.

But, as with Sergeant and Widdecombe before him, Hawking became a pawn in a struggle between dance purists and the public's sense of the absurd, culminating in Len Goodman's tart summary of the situation: "You shouldn't try to dance before you can walk, nor indeed after you've stopped being able to." As it turned out, the competition ended prematurely this year following Bruce Forsyth's death, which was universally agreed to be a tremendous relief.

Toby Young to be given own hospital

The coalition scheme to give reclusive writer Toby Young the life of his dreams at the taxpayers' expense continued apace despite Prince Charles's comment that he thought: "that was what we were for". A new hospital is to be set up within walking distance of Young's west London home which is to focus on, as the columnist put it, "the sort of ailments that people like me get".

"We made our commitment to Toby Young very clear before the election," said health secretary Andrew Lansley. "This is just the second of the thousands of things we hope to do for him. He's great."

Frankie Boyle is made Unesco goodwill ambassador

Many of the Scottish comic's legions of fans accused him of selling out in August when he agreed to head up a "literacy task force", taking part in talks and press conferences in south-east Asia. While the comedian tried to laugh off the commitment in characteristic style as "just a way to meet ladyboys", Boyle is believed to be attempting to rebalance his career after a joke in his live show caused two-thirds of his audience to empty their bowels.

"Clearly, there was something in that joke that must have tapped into the spectators' fight or flight reflex at a very deep level," explains Cambridge University's professor of anthropology. "And I suppose people are very fond of Sue Barker and just don't like the thought of her doing that sort of thing."

Merlin remake trumps original show

The BBC was at the heart of a media storm in April when it emerged that executives had accidentally commissioned a remake of the BBC1 hit, Merlin, before the original show had actually been axed.

The head of drama announced the commission as "the latest in a long line of vibrant and robust reimaginings of much loved classics that the public holds so dear", adding later that her remarks had been taken out of context as they were "just what I say about everything anyway."

With the disdainful headline: "You Couldn't Remake it Up" splashed across the Daily Mail, it was a difficult first day in the office for incoming chairman of the BBC Trust, Zeppo Murdoch, particularly when it transpired that the mistaken commission was precipitated by a Mail editorial inaccurately citing Merlin's cancellation in a list of "Recent Disgraces".

As a result of the confusion, the original Merlin has now moved to Sky.