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Nearing the levels of mass chaos of the 2011 Vancouver hockey riot, unruly throngs of forlorn and distraught parents have been streaming out of Steveston after the now-famous sea lion refused to bite or consume their children.

After a video of a sea lion grabbing a girl and yanking her into the sea went viral, thousands of parents rushed out en masse to the same location, seeking to replicate the incident so that they could become famous and perhaps parlay that fame into a career as a reality TV star, complete with endorsement deals, clothing lines, and inappropriate product placements.

Failing that, many parents, who were witnessed dangling their children over the edge of the wharf in desperate bids for child endangerment, opined that they simply wanted the sea lion to snatch away their offspring and be done with them.

Others felt dejected that their children were not appetizing and attractive enough for the sea lion. Witnesses say they saw parents scolding their children to work harder and warning them that they would be enrolled in more remedial classes if they continued to underperform.

Even Kris Jenner was said to be seen at the wharf with Kim, Kourtney, and Khloé Kardashian (more commonly known as the KKK) in the hopes that one of her girls would be bitten, thereby revitalizing their sagging brand (and other body parts).

Consequently, officials issued a reminder that it is illegal to feed your children to wildlife. However, if you do so, you are urged to dispose of any leftover waste in secure, closed containers.

The viral video garnered international headlines, with the likes of news anchor Stephen Colbert reporting on the incident at the 2:25 mark. Colbert even properly identified the man who rescued the girl by his official title: sexy action grandpa.

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At the same time, Canadian singer-songwriter Feist's song "Sea Lion Woman", inspired by the incident several years prior to the fact, became the unofficial theme song for Steveston.

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Meanwhile, a possible radioactive leak occurred at Washington's Hanford Nuclear Reservation, located 400 kilometres from Vancouver but the incident was deemed of less importance and therefore garnered less international news coverage as no marine mammals were directly involved.