Pete Davidson featured heavily in the latest episode of Saturday Night Live, but the biggest thing to include the young comedian’s name over the weekend wasn’t SNL. Instead, it was his ex-fiance’s highly anticipated music video for her new single “Thank U, Next,” which quickly dominated YouTube and all of social media following its release on Friday. Now the comic is speaking out — not about being name-dropped by Grande’s song, but in regards to his “getting online bullied and in public.”

In an emotional Instagram post, Davidson opened up about the experience and its detrimental effects on his mental health:

“I’ve kept my mouth shut. Never mentioned any names, never said a word about anyone or anything. I’m trying to understand how when something happens to a guy the whole entire world just trashes him without any facts or frqame of reference. Especially in today’s climate where everyone loves to be offended and upset it truly is mind boggling. I’ve been getting online bullied and in public by people for 9 months. I’ve spoken about [borderline personality disorder] and being suicidal publicly only in the hopes that it will help bring awareness and help kids like myself who don’t want to be on this earth. I just want you guys to know. No matter how hard the internet or anyone tries to make me kill myself. I won’t. I’m upset I even have to say this. To all those holding me down and seeing this for what it is – I see you and I love you.”

Check out the post below.