USDA/AP

Is it my fault that I get bit a lot?

In some ways.

Only females mosquitoes "bite" us, right? Is it a gender issue?

A gender issue? They use our amino acids to help them lay eggs. Blood isn't mosquito food.

The traditional understanding is that carbon dioxide is what draws mosquitoes to us. Smithsonian summed up others recently, which, if I were to condense them into one sentence of advice: Don't have Type O blood, don't be a large person, don't exhale, don't exercise, don't get hot, don't be pregnant, don't drink even one beer, don't have parents who got a lot of mosquito bites when they were your age, and don't wear bright clothing or otherwise call attention to yourself.

The American Mosquito Control Association would add that you should avoid Limburger cheese and perfume.

Can I change the nature of my blood?

What?

Blood clots when it stops moving. Why doesn't it just form a hard little ball inside of the mosquito's suckling chamber?

I don't think suckling chamber is what it's called, but I like that. The mosquito's saliva has compounds that prevent clotting.

I want a bug zapper because of the sense of power. But I feel there is social stigma. Do bug zappers make me a "redneck"?

No, bug zappers are great. Maybe as close as some of us will ever get to divinity. They kill a lot of insects, including mosquitoes, but according to the American Mosquito Control Association there have only been two studies on their effectiveness, and yards without bug zappers had no fewer mosquitoes than those with.