A packet of condoms leads to an argument Photo: Courtesy

Teachers taking part in the just concluded Kenya Certificate of Primary Examination (KCPE) examination marking process at a high school in Limuru, Kiambu County were treated to a free for all drama when two of their colleagues went hammer and tongs at each other over a packet of priced condoms.

Hell broke loose after one of the teachers brought his date to their room for an ‘amorous congress’, only to discover his expensive pack of studded condoms missing, just when he was about to get down to business.

Irked that his randy romp had been dealt a major blow after the woman refused to participate in the ‘gland-to-gland’ combat unless he sheaths up, the furious teacher — with nothing but a vest and a pair of shorts — made a beeline for the dining hall where his roommate was having a meal.

And like a raged bull in a china shop, the aggrieved teacher grabbed his roommate by the collar of his shirt, sparking a protracted argument that quickly degenerated into a verbal combat. The offending teacher’s efforts to explain himself and plead for forgiveness fell on deaf ears as his furious colleague unleashed terror, clobbering him while lamenting how his hot date had been ruined.

It took the intervention of embarrassed colleagues to separate the two and lead them off the scene. Some of the duo’s shocked and disgraced colleagues exchanged knowing looks, with one joking, “Boys will always be boys. Fighting over condoms? Really? Who does that! He must have been using the other head, where all his blood had rushed, to reason. Next they will fight over food”.

Randy romps

Teachers’ randy romps at such functions are an open secret. The offending teacher tickled his colleagues when he confessed that indeed he had earlier brought his female colleague to the shared room for an ‘act of rod’ and seeing as he didn’t have condoms, he pinched some from his roommate’s unlocked suitcase.

The aggrieved teacher later apologised to his colleagues over the embarrassing incident, explaining why he disgraced himself and colleague.

He explained that he had invested a lot in securing the date and the pack of condoms were not the regular Sh50 types.

“Those things cost me an arm and a leg. The CDs were not the kawaida ones. At least my friend should have had the courtesy to buy me others after he used mine,” the teacher told his colleagues when explaining the genesis of the circus before asking for forgiveness.

As the drama went on, the woman in question had melted in thin air, perhaps to save face and avoid embarrassment. Meanwhile, one of the senior examiner who brokered truce between the two tutors chided them and promised to offer them packets of condoms.

“Government withholding teachers September salary over strike had far reaching implications. You see how cash-strapped teachers are? They had to fight over a packet of condoms!” a teacher at the marking centre is said to have joked later in reference to the incident