A while back, the some folks contacted me and asked if I’d like to talk about monsters and stories and mythology and stuff for a show they were putting together for the History Channel.

(I’m paraphrasing, of course.)

It wasn’t a hard decision. I’m all about talking about stories and mythology. Stuff is right up my alley, too.

And… Ah… who are we kidding? I just like to talk. If I didn’t have access to the internet, I’d constantly be pulling Ancient Mariner bullshit on people.

Anyway, the first episode went up last week Friday. Here’s a little teaser.

You can watch the entire episode right here. Brandon Sanderson is there too, better dressed and more articulate than me.

Before you rush over there and get your hopes up, I’m not in much of the episode. Part of this is because I didn’t have much to say about things like the Jersey Devil or Hel (The Norse Hel).

But a contributing factor is the fact that I have trouble talking in soundbites. Anyone who has seen me on panels at conventions knows this. When I’m asked a question, your best case scenario is that I’m going to talk a paragraph at you. More often my answer will probably be a little story of its own with its own distinct narrative arc. It’s the only way I really know how to talk. That doesn’t translate well onto camera.

Also, I was so impressed with how shiny my name was that I wore this expression all the way through the interview.

Seriously though, I spent most of my interview telling stories, making jokes, and cussing with extravagant flamboyance. Which, in retrospect, probably wasn’t what they were looking for. Though I do remember getting good laughs off the camera crew…

There are going to be 3 more episodes. I’m particularly curious about how #3 turned out: Gods and Monsters. I remember talking at some length about Loki fucking a horse. Which… now that I’m thinking of it… they might not put that in the episode either.

Anyway, here’s the schedule:

Cannibals and Killers – Friday, October 16th, 2015 at 10pm EST / 9pm CST

Gods and Monsters – Friday, October 23rd, 2015 at 10pm EST / 9pm CST

Giants and Beasts – Friday, October 30th, 2015 at 10pm EST / 9pm CST

You could make a drinking game out of it. Every time they put me on the screen – take a drink. Every time I give a Midwestern pause in the middle of a statement – two drinks. Every time I laugh at one of my own jokes – three drinks. Every time they have to bleep me – do a shot.

That’s all for now, folks. Share and enjoy.

pat