But other actors who really should have known better must share in Depp’s disgrace. Gwyneth Paltrow is all bum and teeth as Johanna, Mortdecai’s boringly glamorous wife, whose dislike of her husband’s moustache prompts a bewilderingly in-depth subplot, while Ewan McGregor all but walks around with his head in his hands in the straight man role of a police inspector who calls on Mortdecai to help track down the stolen portrait. Jeff Goldblum is also in it for a scene or two until his character gets shot, and part of you wonders if Goldblum pulled the trigger himself when he read the next page of the script.