“What do lesbians bring on a second date?”

“A Uhaul”

If that joke continued, it might go:

“What do lesbians bring on a third date?”

“A puppy.”

Homosexuals love their pets. If there’s one cultural cliche gays and lesbians can get on board with, it’s the unconditional adoration of a canine friend. Or two. Or three. Recently, I broke down what your cat says about you. Now dogs are getting the same affectionate teasing. While these insights may or may not be based on science (not really, at all), studies have shown that the type of pet you pick indicates a few things about your personality. So go ahead and look into the science, then let me get real with you up in here.

What Your Dog Says About You

Chihuahua

You have a napoleon complex and pocket full of poop baggies.

Great Dane

You have a big heart and dirty apartment.

Yorkshire Terrier

You secretly want to put a bow on everything.

Pug

You are a high maintenance serial monogamist.