The Sex Files with Emily Straubel

It’s spring, and that weird tingly vibe is in the air. Call it whatever you will: love, new starts, sexual tension, raging middle-aged hormones, or whatever. It is in the air and it is awesome.

I can feel it radiating off of people as I pass by them on the streets, and I’ve got the feeling that the vibe is out to get me (like that uber creepy scene in the movie Fallen). Last week, I found myself sitting next to a gorgeous couple at Miyake and could feel their vibe creeping down the bar towards me (gross), then an older couple walked behind me on the Western Prom and I could feel their decades of love vibing at me. Finally it all came crashing down when I found myself caught in the spring-love vortex and danced my butt of to Lake Street Dive at the State Theater. They wholly embody my RedLipstick love vibe, and for the first time in months I could feel my jaded frozen heart finally start to crack.

There are certain places in Portland where this vibe is so strong we feel the need to constantly make out there. Like Roswell and Area 51 are high traffic UFO sites, and Mt. Shasta and Sedona are energy vortexes for higher consciousness, these Portland locations are the spots that pull you in and make you feel so good, you can’t help but smooch someone.

These are great places to go for a walk or conveniently find yourselves after a second date (or first date, you tramp!).

Got any places to add to the list? Comment below!

1. East End Trail

This spot shouldn’t be described, it should be experienced. Just past the beach and headed towards downtown, you pass five tiny paths to the ocean that lead to the perfect make out spots. Overlooking the water with the sound of the waves crashing against the pylons, these spots give you the deceptive feeling of being alone, thanks to a thin row of rose bushes. This is the #No. 1 spot for a reason. I’ve tested and retested this place and it’s never let me down. Find it: trails.org

2. Ferry to Peaks Island

With the wind blowing through your hair and the sea air giving your brain a much-needed spike in oxygen, it’s hard not to feel “in the mood” on the Casco Bay Lines ferry over to the Peaks Island. You’ve probably got your cute bikes and picnic packed. You’re ready for the best date ever. You won’t have to wait to set foot on land to get your mojo going. And it’s always five degrees colder than you expect it to be, so cozying up to someone just feels natural. Find it: cascobaylines.com

3. Top of the East Elevator

Elevators force intimacy, so I take them as often as possible (as long as it’s past the second floor). The elevator ride to the TOE is just long enough to allow for a dramatic pause for tension and a long swoon-worthy frenchy before that delightful *ding* reminds you that you’re actually in a public place and should probably readjust your clothes appropriately. Find it: westinportlandharborview.com/top-of-the-east

4. Back porch of the Portland Observatory

There is something mysterious about the tourist attractions in Portland that are always right in front of us, but we never actually go into. If you live on the East End, you walk or drive by the Portland Observatory five times a day. You probably rarely notice it, and you never actually go in! It’s the perfect place for a game-changing kiss. It feels dangerously public since it’s usually bustling with people, but it’s completely blocked from view. I love this place in the winter when the neighborhood is completely silent. Find it: portlandlandmarks.org/observatory/

5. Make out park (aka Standpipe Park)

You know the park. The one that overlooks the ENTIRE city and at night is perfectly lit up with the most romantic street lights. It’s called Standpipe Park (off North Street in Portland’s East End), and there is a perfect path through the trees and a single bench perfectly suited for only two people. I conveniently lived next to this park for months and got some serious second base make out action there. Unfortunately, it’s often already being occupied and with more than one couple can get a little swingers-esque. Find it: www.yelp.com

6. Upstairs at the Portland Museum of Art

Maybe it’s just me, but art is a major turn on. And the quiet contemplative mood of the art museum makes me want to ravage someone. No…. just me? Anyone else? Bueller? It feels secluded and slightly mischievous. With the added knowledge that someone, somewhere, is probably watching on a security camera, this is the ideal place for the good-girl-turned-bad type of make out scene (or good boy, I am not judging). And you get to look at incredible art, which makes everything better. Find it: portlandmuseum.org

7. Longfellow Square in the Winter

Imagine it’s First Friday Art Walk in December and the snow starts to fall sweetly in the park (remember when snow was romantic?!). You and your lovah are walking towards the West End for your first hot toddy of the season. You can’t help but stop underneath the weird colored light balls hanging in Longfellow Square. They are just whimsical enough, and the snow is just romantic enough to make you kiss just about anyone. I’d normally caution you of slightly lowered standards, but what the hey, go for it! Find it: maps.google.com

8. End of Maine State Pier

Summertime at the pier can’t get here soon enough. This is the best place to sit for hours talking about nothing or hashing out the terms of your relationship. Either way, it always ends in a long and classically New England make out. With your feet dangling over the edge, you can see the bustle of the working waterfront and have a long drawn out kiss-talk-kiss-talk sort of make out. It feels personal and homey and all of a sudden the fisherman and the skateboarding teenagers will be sucked into your love vortex. Way to go you guys, spreading the love to people all over the pier. Find it: maps.google.com

9. My rooftop deck

Maaaaaybe I’m a little biased on this one, but it’s probably the greatest place in Portland to make out. It overlooks the ocean and the West End. It always smells like basil and kale from my garden and there are dozens of twinkly lights that I forgot to take down after my Christmas party last year. You can usually hear the sweet sounds of Sam Cooke and Marvin Gaye from the kitchen, and out of all the places on this list, it is the most conveniently located – near my bedroom.

Where is your best make out spot? Share it in the comments