The Hobbit film portrayals are guilty of many sins, one of which is clearly evident in their inaccurate and conflicting portrayal of the orc species in the Battle of the Five Armies.

Firstly, the main issue that we are pressed to address is the varying physical discrepancies shown to us in the various orcs depicted on the screen. At the Battle of Five Armies, many of them seem to match elves and men in height, with some truly hulking specimens featuring throughout the battle scenes. Orcs. What?

Now we are told that the ranks of Bolg’s bodyguard are made up of superior warriors.

and with them came the bodyguard of Bolg, goblins of huge size with scimitars of steel.

But this line merely serves to illustrate how unusual this is. The stature of Bolg’s bodyguard is a noteworthy event, standing out as they do amongst the ranks of the lesser soldiery.

I mean it’s just that we’ve been told the Uruk-Hai were bred specifically to overcome the weaknesses of the orc. Smaller stature, cowardice, weakness to the sun, deviousness. I’m not expert on anthropology or sociology but a few points seem glaringly obvious here. Firstly there appear to be striking physical differences between the different breed of orc. The Two Towers gives us a great glimpse at interaction between those of Mordor, Isengard, and the Northerners.

In the twilight he saw a large black Orc, probably Ugluk, standing facing Grishnakh, a short crook-legged creature…Round them were many smaller goblins. Pippin supposed that these were the ones from the North.

The Northerners are clearly smaller than both the Mordor and Isengard orcs, the latter being man-sized. Another snippet from the same chapter gives us

most of the Northerners broke away and dashed off…The hobbits were left with the Isengarders: a grim dark band, four score at least of large, swart, slant-eyed Orcs…A few of the larger and bolder Northerners remained with them.

So it’s clear that the Uruk-Hai of Isengard and the Uruks of Mordor are considered exceptional amongst their species for unusual size and strength, specially bred to eliminate the weaknesses of their purer brethren. The infusion of man blood is what makes the difference. This difference can even be seen in their facial features.

A selection of orc features.

The more ‘human’ faces of the great orc or Uruk.

The Disaster at the Gladden Fields shows us the Northerners in their heyday and still when combating the ambushed Dúnedain

“[the Numenoreans] towered above the tallest Orcs, and their swords and spears far outreached the weapons of their enemies.”

And for a last piece of evidence, in Frodo and Sam’s journey through Mordor, the pair of hobbits succeed in passing themselves off as orcs in disguise, this amongst the healthier breed and strain of Mordor orc, not their lesser northern cousins.

There are those who argue that the Battle of the Five Armies accounts for the inferior portrayal of the northern orc in Lord of the Rings, stating that the catastrophic lost of three parts in four of their population would cause a downward spiral and traumatic shock to any civilisation. They seem to discount the previous calamity to afflict the northern orcs in the War of the Dwarves and Orcs, a war that saw thousands of orcs slain in six years of warfare with most survivors fleeing further south to the White Mountains. Nor is it possible for physical change to have happened in so little a time.

There also appears to be a trend in the films to attempt to reclassify orcs and goblins as two separate and distinct races which is complete and utter rubbish. Tolkien himself made it clear that words are freely interchangeable. Goblin appears most frequently in hobbit speech which accounts for its preponderance of usage in The Hobbit as Bilbo narrates. Even so, we also see the word goblin being applied to the Uruk-Hai without issue when the Three Hunters examine Boromir’s last stand.

There were four goblin-soldiers of greater stature, swart, slant-eyed, with thick legs and large hands. They were armed with short broad-bladed swords, not with the curved scimitars usual with Orcs: and they had bows of yew, in length and shape like the bows of Men.

And also upon the discovery of the remains of Uglúk’s war-party.

Upon a stake in the middle was set a great goblin head; upon its shattered helm the white badge could still be seen.

It goes without saying of course that there were numerous terms for orc. We see at various times, urco, rukhs, orch, and gorgún; to name a few.

What is most important is that the orcs themselves seem not to have differentiated themselves as a species, dividing themselves more on class and racial lines.

The above point is easily displayed in their view of cannibalism. Cannibalism is seen as heinous. The mere accusation that Uglúk and the Uruk-Hai are cannibals causes blades to be drawn by the various orcs and prompts a violent reaction from Uglúk.

‘Swine is it? How do you folk like being called swine by the muck-rakers of a dirty little wizard? It’s orc-flesh they eat, I’ll warrant.’ Many loud yells in orc-speech answered him, and the ringing clash of weapons being drawn.

Contrast this with how it’s abysmally handled in the film.

Ironically enough, despite the Uruk-Hai’s violent reaction, Grishnakh’s accusation is fair in light of occurrences in Mordor where the Uruks seem to prey on lesser orcs. Shagrat threatens to eat a subordinate and also threatens Gorbag with it.

‘He’s for Lugbúrz, I tell you. He’s wanted safe and whole.’ ‘You’ll find that difficult,’ laughed Gorbag. ‘He’s nothing but carrion now. He might as well go in the pot.’ ‘You fool,’ snarled Shagrat. ‘You’ll be for the pot or for Shelob, if you don’t take care’.

Much has been made of the Great Goblin and the historical Azog but the orcs of the north cannot be referred to as a nation. A confederation is perhaps more befitting, seeing as how they were beset on all sides by rivals. Gundabad is referred to as the capital of the northern orcs but they still react to the events in Moria. The killing of the Great Goblin provoked a response as great as that of the killing of Thrór. The petty princes and rulers of the mountains banded together to avenge the insult.

Ever since the fall of the Great Goblin of the Misty Mountains the hatred of their race for the dwarves had been rekindled to fury. Messengers had passed to and fro between all their cities, colonies, and strongholds; for now they resolved now to win the dominion of the North. Tidings they had gathered in secret ways; and in all of the mountains there was a forging and an arming.

The caste system of orkish society, the status of snagas or slaves, all goes to show us a picture of a society fractured and divided, united only by the lash of their masters. As a society, only the presence of a great power such as Morgoth, Sauron, and to a lesser extent; Saruman, can unite them.

The war-band present in the Two Towers is a fascinating resource as it shows us rare examples of how these three distinct societies interact. Their traits serve to define the differences between them. They are forced to use the Common Tongue for comprehension as regardless of the Northern, Mordor, and Isengard orcs being present, the differing tribal tongues and dialects makes it impossible to converse in Orkish.

The Mordor orcs seem to distance themselves by their use of the Black Speech. The hobbits’ guard curses Uglúk in it (no doubt over fear of being overheard).

‘Curse the Isengarders! Uglúk u bagronk sha pushdug Saruman-glob búbhosh ska’: he passed into a long angry speech in his own tongue that slowly died away into muttering and snarling.

Infighting and rivalry is a part of orkish society. Even in Mordor we are shown the clashes between that of the Gorbag’s Minas Morgul orcs and Shagrat’s Uruks. The mustering of the Udun garrison results in a melee when Barad-dúr Uruks charge the Durthang orcs line. Rumours amongst the orkish home armies entertain the concept that the slaughter at Cirith Ungol was the work of rebel Uruk-Hai. This is in the land of shadow, the realm of Sauron. One can only imagine the infighting that occurs in the tribal societies and encampments of the Misty Mountains.

Enough digressing on the mind and civilisation of the orc, we merely wish to establish their fractious and conflicted society. Here now we are concerned with the discipline and garb of the Gundabad orcs. Orcs are noted as a martial race, being at the forefront of every war against the Free Peoples. But never in such a ridiculous fashion as we are shown in the film.

We see them march out in serried ranks, fully armoured and with uniform weaponry. It’s nonsense, not even in the glorious days of the First Age did the orc come in such regalia.

Sauron and his predecessor Morgoth struggled for millenia to forge the orcs into a race capable of waging war effectively. But here we’re shown how generations separated from the guidance of the Witch-King of Angmar, that his refugee soldiers have created a Spartan civilisation capable of waging war across many leagues. Why wait till now? Why haven’t Eriador and Rhovanian been laid waste to?

It wouldn’t matter so much if we weren’t specifically told that the orcs in the Misty Mountains have degenerated into feuding, warring tribes. Bereft of higher guidance, they’ve become something more atavistic, self evident when their closest kin in the White Mountains have already been exterminated by the Rohirrim, leaving them further isolated from the guiding light (dark) of Mordor.

But in the film, we’re given a sight of the most disciplined soldiers in all of Middle-Earth? It certainly doesn’t match up with the historical record.

‘Now straight on!’ shouted Uglúk. ‘West and a little north. Follow Lugdush.’ ‘But what are we going to do at sunrise?’ said some of the Northerners. ‘Go on running,’ said Uglúk. ‘What do you think? Sit on the grass and wait for the Whiteskins to join the picnic?’ ‘But we can’t run in the sunlight.’ ‘You’ll run with me behind you,’ said Uglúk. ‘Run! Or you’ll never see your beloved holes again. By the White Hand! What’s the use of sending out mountain-maggots on a trip, only half trained. Run, curse you! Run while night lasts!’

It doesn’t stop there. The Isengarders are willing to follow the orders of the officer appointed, showing a higher level of discipline and respect for the chain of command as it stands. The Mordor contingent show similar deference towards their commander, Grishnakh but are a bit more prone to backstabbing while the Northerners come across as animalistic and brutal, their resistance only being cowed when Uglúk kills a few of them.

“The Orcs were getting ready to march again, but some of the Northerners were still unwilling, and the Isengarders slew two more before the rest were cowed.”

The orcs of Mordor and Isengard function somewhat in a military fashion. They have a chain of command and follow orders. The Northerners on the other hand show their military motivation as being nothing more than a matter of honour.

‘We have come all the way from the Mines to kill, and avenge our folk. I wish to kill and then go back north’.

They function in a more tribal fashion, raiding only for food and wealth as opposed to the southern and eastern strains who do so out of military duty.

These accounts (while admittedly anecdotal) serve to illustrate and show the northern orc as a weaker and inferior to their southern and eastern cousins. They are a race that have adapted well to the mountains and caves but one liable to be slaughtered when brought to pitched battle.

The entire pantomime of the Gundabad orcs seems to be the work of a fantasist, depicting as it does a ‘utopian’ image of orc society.

The entire series of Hobbit films are inaccurate and preposterous depictions of the orc, owing more to fantasy than they do to academic scholarship and study.