Spanking sounds like a simple thing. How to spank almost seems ridiculous, after all we all know that it’s a slap on the backside. But knowing how to spank like a pro means thinking about the best way to do it. Spanking can be done for pleasure or punishment, how good it is though is up to you.

Anyone who’s ever received a spanking knows that there’s different ways of doing it. Depending on where you hit will influence whether it’s pleasurable or painful for the receiver. If you’re having a short session, you might do it differently from if it’s a longer session.

We’ve quizzed friends, professional dominants and escorts as to what their best tips are. So without further ado, these are the top tips on how to spank like a pro!

Types of erotic spanking

There are 5 main types of spanking which can be explained as:

Sexy Spanking

A kind of foreplay, designed for pleasure and to tease both the spanker and the spankee. Often starts clothed with caressing, light squeezes, then stripped down to bare skin spanks and touching of nearby erogenous zones. This can be a fun precursor to rimming, fingering, oral, vaginal or anal sex and may also use sex toys.

Punishment Spanking

Done as discipline when an agreed ‘rule’ has been broken and both parties understand this will lead to a punishment. This kind of spanking is more common within the BDSM scene with a Dom giving it to their Sub. It can be pleasurable for those engaging in S&M but is meant as discipline.

Therapy Spanking

Linking in to the Punishment Spanking, Therapy is motivated towards an emotional release rather than a sexual one. It features more often within the BDSM scene and between established regular partners.

Role Play Spanking

This is self explanatory in nature, Role Play spanking may often links to D/S scenarios like DDLG or Age Play. Done as a kind of foreplay while being a milder kind of punishment, the spanking can be as gentle or hard as chosen. During this kind of spanking, clear consent and ‘safe words’ are even more important to avoid miscommunication.

Hardcore Spanking

Hardcore spanking can be often known as ‘impact play’ as more often specific implements or toys are used such as whips, floggers, canes, crops etc. Some may begin their session with the other milder forms of spanking before progressing towards Hardcore play. After hardcore sessions, sex aftercare is essential.

General Tips on how to spank

When you start any kind of spanking session, it’s advisable to do so in layers. Rather than going straight for her bare skin, start off spanking her while she’s clothed. This is best when you first start spanking as it helps ease you both into it while reducing the risk of discomfort.

Then once you’ve begun to warm up to the spanking, you can strip off the top layer and go to her underwear. Again spend some time teasing her and spanking while she has her knickers on. It’s an ideal time to gently tease her by rubbing her through her undies. This can be even more fun if she wears lace or silky briefs to enhance the thrill.

Maintain good communication throughout the session and keep it short to begin with. Whether you’re doing spanking as foreplay or as a session within itself will determine how long it is. Always remember to practice good sex aftercare whenever you give a spanking.

How heavy should you spank?

How heavy you spank somebody is a pretty key factor. If you spank them lightly then they’ll be able to tolerate the session for longer than if it’s harder. Depending on whether you’re giving a playful spanking or a more disciplined one will also affect how hard you do it.

Before you engage in any kind of impact play, you should discuss limits with your partner. We recommend using a ‘safe word’ or the traffic light system to help maintain safety throughout. If your submissive were gagged however then you might need to consider alternative ways that she can signal to take a break if unable to speak.

When trying anything for the first time, you should go slow and gentle. Being careful will help gauge what is comfortable and fun. It’s also worth leaning towards the side of caution and checking to see if her skin reacts to the spanking.

When she begins to get pink, you can pause and watch to see how long it takes to fade. Paying attention to how her body responds to the spanking is just as important as listening to her verbal enjoyment. If you spank too much without allowing time to cool down, you could cause bruising to come out later on which might not appear right away even if she feels OK initially.

If you’re giving only a few spanks, you can arguably go a bit harder but if you were planning to give more then keeping the pressure lighter will help complete the ‘set’ without pain. You need to remember there’s a cumulative effect of a repeated impact. So if you keep hitting the same spot, it will get sore more quickly than if you spread out the impact across the area.

Where to spank?

Spanking position will influence the impact of the hit but the exact location of where you land each spank is worth paying more attention to. When spanking someone on the ass, you should aim for the fleshy soft part of their buttock. If you hit too high, it’s closer to their back and will feel harder than if it’s on the softer ‘fat’ part of the cheek.

By spanking the soft flesh, there’ll be the jiggle afterwards which absorbs some of the impact. This acts as a cushion and can be spanked for longer without causing pain than if you spank elsewhere. Hitting the meaty part of the rump will likely give most satisfaction to you both and can be suitable for open hand spanks, paddles, whips, crops and canes.

In comparison if you strike lower down on the rump towards the top of the thighs where there is less padding it will hurt more. This area is usually targeted more during impact play as the ‘seat’ comes into contact whenever you sit down and is more sensitive.

Other popular areas to spank besides the buttocks include thighs, soles of feet, palms, breasts and the clit. Naturally breasts and clits are more sensitive and need to be treated carefully. The general rule of thumb applies that if an area has more padding then the impact will be less. However you should always start any spanking gently and slowly before progressing.

Where you spank will largely be dictated by what type of spanking you’re going for. If you’re dabbling with Sexy or Roleplay Spanking then keeping it lighter is best. When you progress towards more impact lay driven spanking, you may get harder and use implements.

Implements

Spanking kit can be a very wide ranging subject. The normal beginner steps would be open hand spanks before perhaps using a soft paddle. Some people also use slippers or rolled up newspaper. But before you take a DIY method, you should establish what feels good.

Paddles, floggers, whips, canes and riding crops are generally reserved for the more advanced spankers/spankees. Finding what works for you both is essential before exploring new ideas.

You can purchase spanking toys from most sex shops with some of our favourites being Ann Summers, Love Honey, Coco de Mer and Agent Provocateur. With any new piece of kit you should wash it thoroughly to ensure it’s hygienic before use and maintain proper care.

Don’t use DIY implements without checking if they’re safe. While a pencil or ruler might make a good sound when you hit something, it is nearly always better to use proper certified toys.