Four years ago, during the Labour leadership contest that followed the party’s electoral defeat in 2015, I urged fellow conservatives to join Labour and vote for Jeremy Corbyn.

I pointed out that you can become a “registered supporter” of the party – a status that entitles you to vote for the next leader – for the princely sum of £3.

I obviously didn’t have Labour’s best interests at heart, but I could see one upside for the party, which is that Corbyn might lay to rest once and for all the crackpot theory that giving the top job to a Marxist is the way to win elections:

“ With Corbyn at the helm, Labour’s loss will be so catastrophic – so decisively humiliating – that the left of the party might finally be silenced for good. The ‘debate’ they want to keep on having in perpetuity might finally come to a close. We might even see a bit less of Owen Jones on the telly. That can only help Labour’s long-term electoral prospects.

Incredibly, Labour doesn’t appear to have learnt anything from its worst defeat since 1935. Those being talked about as Corbyn’s successor, with the possible exception of Keir Starmer, look like certain election losers, not least because they’re too far to the left.

And, just to put the final nail in Labour’s coffin, I’m tempted to start a new campaign. #ToriesForAbbott, perhaps. Or #ToriesForBurgon. Or – yes, he may run as well – #ToriesForGardiner. Three pounds seems a small price to pay to consign Labour to electoral oblivion, which is what I put down as my reason for joining four years ago.

But I’m not going to for two reasons.

First, the talent pool in Labour is so shallow that whoever wins won’t be able to defeat Boris.

Who’s the best of them? Keir Starmer? Not sure the man who helped persuade Corbyn to endorse a second referendum is the person to win back those defectors in the ‘Red Wall’.

Lisa Nandy? Looks good when contrasted with Corbyn, but hardly the sensible centrist the party needs.

Emily Thornberry? You’re having a laugh. No, given the mountain Labour has to climb, the Tory victory in 2024 is nailed on whoever emerges as the winner, so there’s no need to sabotage the race.

Second, helping some loon to become the leader of what is still the second biggest party in Britain in the hope that he or she will make it unelectable is a gamble I don’t want to take again.

The possibility of Corbyn in Number 10, however remote, gave me a lot of sleepless nights in the past four years.

My friends in the City assure me that the mere threat of a Corbyn government damaged the economy because it prevented lots of people investing in British businesses.

Better for the Leader of the Opposition not to be someone who wants to turn the country into Venezuela, even if that helps the Tories’ electoral chances.

So I’m going to stay out of this bun fight and just sit on the sidelines with a bag of popcorn. My work is done.