Much of Stoic philosophy can be summed up in a few words of Epictetus, from the opening of his brief, work. The Enchiridion. Yet almost all the time I fall short of this simple ideal:

"The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men." ~ Epictetus

I have immersed myself in the writings of the Stoics for a number of years. I read the works of Epictetus, and of Marcus Aurelius and other Stoics, but I am dense and they do not sink in fully. I still regularly mistake what is slavish for what is free. I lament, and I am disturbed.

I try to take inspiration from the meme on social media, which advocates for right Stoic thinking when it compares the mind to a boat. The wild and unruly sea is on the outside of the boat. It is our goal as Stoics to keep the inside of the boat calm, dry and serene.

My boat leaks like a sieve. Epictetus says we should be able to keep things in perspective even if evil men take away our entire estate. I lose my cool when more nimble vehicles take away my parking space. At a store closing sale for Sports Authority recently, I was tricked into paying full price for some shoes that were supposed to be 30 to 50 percent off. I asked to see the manager, who likely would not describe my disposition at that point as stoic. I can barely misplace my glasses before I am ankle-deep in water, upset at the smallest thing.

Greco-Roman Couch Trip

Stoicism should be the cure for what ails me because it is the foundation of modern talk therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) was inspired by the Stoic position that it is our ideas about things rather than the things themselves that get us upset. So whether we are dealing with a traumatic loss or simply a mildly neurotic creative personality, the way of the Stoic is really akin to an ancient Greco-Roman couch trip. Stoicism is not an intellectual pursuit as much as a spiritual discipline to help us achieve a stable, sustainable happiness immune to external factors beyond our control. If we can focus strictly on living a virtuous life in the decisions we make and what we value, this alone should sustain us.





Could it be that Stoicism is less a tool for those who are by nature reserved and happy-go-lucky and more a life line thrown to those who are destined to struggle? The physician comes not for the healthy, but for the sick. If we humbly acknowledge our struggles and shortcomings, as Paul Kraft did when he wrote the beautiful song Keep Me From Blowing Away (artfully rendered above by Chris Eldridge and Julian Lage), are we more sincere Stoics than those whom nature has blessed with an unflappable, cool demeanor?

Not Everyone Can Be King

"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." ~ Marcus Aurelius

I agree only partially with Aurelius. We may intellectually realize that we can exercise control over our happiness through the many small decisions we make each day. Adopting this discipline however can be a constant struggle.

As the emperor of the known world, a philosopher king like Marcus Aurelius was, I am sure, a serene and Stoic countenance the likes of which we may not see in our lifetimes. But what of those of us that fall beneath the ideal of the disciplined Stoic master?

And who is to be more admired ... the chronically skinny man who starts bodybuilding and struggles to gain, or the naturally muscular man who easily buffs up? Does the solidly-built, slower person who trains long and hard to achieve midlevel times in distance running best reflect the spirit of the games, or does the greasy-fast elite runner who has advantages they may take for granted?

Even the second head of the Stoic school, Cleanthes, struggled with the principles and teachings of Stoicism, and was called a dullard by his peers. Yet it was he who was elevated to lead the school after Zeno's death.

Those of humble capabilities may endear themselves in ways the elite cannot. The Stoic practitioner who perhaps due to genetic predisposition struggles to maintain equilibrium may have an easier time relating to the struggles of others. They may more naturally exhibit Stoic cosmopolitanism--the sense of joy that comes from the happiness and wellbeing of others and the community. The athlete of more limited abilities may teach us things about perseverance and fortitude the naturally talented cannot.

That is why we root for the underdog, and why movies like Rudy, Rocky and Invincible are enduring favorites. As mere mortals, we see more of ourselves in these Everyman characters, and there is moral instruction in their journey that we cannot glean from stories of naturally gifted, perhaps more accomplished, athletes. These characters are relatable, approachable. Because we ourselves are not exceptional, because we struggle, they describe for us a way forward, and give us hope that we might rise above our station through the sheer force of our will.

So perhaps a really crappy Stoic, through their ongoing dedication to a spiritual discipline in the face of adversity, may give encouragement to someone else as they struggle along their own path. They may encourage other, more talented practitioners to grow and develop well beyond what they themselves are capable of.

And in time, even the crappy Stoic may find some solace. Even Cleanthes, the dullard, left us with this subtle prayer ...

"Lead me, Zeus, and you too, Destiny,

To wherever your decrees have assigned me.

I follow readily, but if I choose not,

Wretched though I am, I must follow still.

Fate guides the willing, but drags the unwilling.”

Charles Rathmann works in marketing communications for IFS in North America. He is a technical brand journalist and business-to-business marketer, and is a veteran of many hard-fought battles on the agency and client side. He loves to tell stories and share information to bring technology buyers and sellers together, but would usually rather be fishing, playing guitar or digging in his shade perennial garden.

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