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Anonymous







http://thefinancialdiet.com/11-people-who-grew-up-wealthy-on-the-luxury-they-didnt-realize-wasnt-normal/





I came across this article today and thought it was interesting and eye opening. If you're not careful, what might your kids grow up to think is "normal" rather than privileged and luxurious? How do you discuss with them that they are lucky to have what they have and that most people do not have these things? I came across this article today and thought it was interesting and eye opening. If you're not careful, what might your kids grow up to think is "normal" rather than privileged and luxurious? How do you discuss with them that they are lucky to have what they have and that most people do not have these things?

Anonymous







Ours are still too young to figure stuff out, but already the older one (preschool age) probably assumes that the "cleaning ladies" are how all houses get cleaned, and same with lawn maintenance. We plan to send ours to the local public school, but it's a W school so not a big diversity of income levels there either.



We plan to give the chores when they get older, and probably some volunteering.. Any other tips? We both came from modest backgrounds and definitely worked hard to get where we are today.

Anonymous







I tell them pretty much everyday how lucky they are, and we don't indulge them with everything they want. They get 1 xmas gift from us, and 1 from Santa; one from grandparents. We have a lot of discussions about what life is like for people around the world, including those less fortunate than us in our own community. I grew up lower/middle class, and I tell them stories about what my childhood was like.



We also purposefully chose to live in a SES diverse school cluster partly for this reason. We had moved from a wealthy cluster. When I had heard that HS kids in that cluster were driving to school in brand new expensive cars, I told my DH we need to move. The parking lot is apparently full of such cars. I don't even drive a brand new luxury car.



But yea, they will probably (hopefully) never know what it's like to really struggle like I did growing up lower/middle income.

Anonymous







One way to help the situation is to send your kids to public school. Don't send them to private school.

Anonymous







We're poor. DD knows we're poor. Explaining to her that there are people MORE poor than us always blows her mind and puts in perspective how lucky she is.

Anonymous







Anonymous wrote: Ours are still too young to figure stuff out, but already the older one (preschool age) probably assumes that the "cleaning ladies" are how all houses get cleaned, and same with lawn maintenance. We plan to send ours to the local public school, but it's a W school so not a big diversity of income levels there either.



We plan to give the chores when they get older, and probably some volunteering.. Any other tips? We both came from modest backgrounds and definitely worked hard to get where we are today.



It's common unless one parent stays at home It's common unless one parent stays at home

Anonymous







Anonymous wrote: Ours are still too young to figure stuff out, but already the older one (preschool age) probably assumes that the "cleaning ladies" are how all houses get cleaned, and same with lawn maintenance. We plan to send ours to the local public school, but it's a W school so not a big diversity of income levels there either.



We plan to give the chores when they get older, and probably some volunteering.. Any other tips? We both came from modest backgrounds and definitely worked hard to get where we are today.





Our preschool actually said something like this recently! I cringed and corrected him but still it bothers me.



Other things they probably take for granted:



travel (our big splurge: annual trips to the Caribbean in the winter, Europe every summer, and a couple other trips besides)

pricey extracurricular activities: our daughter is crazy about horses and does a weekly riding lesson but I can already see it progressing to leasing a horse at the very least; one son does weekly private tennis lessons, another does piano lessons

no debt

college paid for

expensive cars

SAHM

country club/private club memberships

eat out frequently Our preschool actually said something like this recently! I cringed and corrected him but still it bothers me.Other things they probably take for granted:travel (our big splurge: annual trips to the Caribbean in the winter, Europe every summer, and a couple other trips besides)pricey extracurricular activities: our daughter is crazy about horses and does a weekly riding lesson but I can already see it progressing to leasing a horse at the very least; one son does weekly private tennis lessons, another does piano lessonsno debtcollege paid forexpensive carsSAHMcountry club/private club membershipseat out frequently

Anonymous







Anonymous wrote: One way to help the situation is to send your kids to public school. Don't send them to private school.



Depends on the school. My DC had MUCH wealthier friends at public high school than private k-8. Depends on the school. My DC had MUCH wealthier friends at public high school than private k-8.

Anonymous







Anonymous wrote: Anonymous wrote: Ours are still too young to figure stuff out, but already the older one (preschool age) probably assumes that the "cleaning ladies" are how all houses get cleaned, and same with lawn maintenance. We plan to send ours to the local public school, but it's a W school so not a big diversity of income levels there either.



We plan to give the chores when they get older, and probably some volunteering.. Any other tips? We both came from modest backgrounds and definitely worked hard to get where we are today.





Our preschool actually said something like this recently! I cringed and corrected him but still it bothers me.



Other things they probably take for granted:



travel (our big splurge: annual trips to the Caribbean in the winter, Europe every summer, and a couple other trips besides)

pricey extracurricular activities: our daughter is crazy about horses and does a weekly riding lesson but I can already see it progressing to leasing a horse at the very least; one son does weekly private tennis lessons, another does piano lessons

no debt

college paid for

expensive cars

SAHM

country club/private club memberships

eat out frequently Our preschool actually said something like this recently! I cringed and corrected him but still it bothers me.Other things they probably take for granted:travel (our big splurge: annual trips to the Caribbean in the winter, Europe every summer, and a couple other trips besides)pricey extracurricular activities: our daughter is crazy about horses and does a weekly riding lesson but I can already see it progressing to leasing a horse at the very least; one son does weekly private tennis lessons, another does piano lessonsno debtcollege paid forexpensive carsSAHMcountry club/private club membershipseat out frequently



All of this plus private school, cars when they get their license (just a used car though; many of their friends got brand new cars), money to at least pad if not cover their down payments for their first house. We stress to them that this is not how most people grow up. I'm not sure if it is sinking in or not. We are actually the "poorer" ones in our larger social circle so I worry that our kids probably think we are middle class. All of this plus private school, cars when they get their license (just a used car though; many of their friends got brand new cars), money to at least pad if not cover their down payments for their first house. We stress to them that this is not how most people grow up. I'm not sure if it is sinking in or not. We are actually the "poorer" ones in our larger social circle so I worry that our kids probably think we are middle class.

Anonymous







Take your kids to some third world countries and let them see how kids their age live (and work).

Anonymous







Anonymous wrote: Anonymous wrote: One way to help the situation is to send your kids to public school. Don't send them to private school.



Depends on the school. My DC had MUCH wealthier friends at public high school than private k-8. Depends on the school. My DC had MUCH wealthier friends at public high school than private k-8.



What school was that? Langley? What school was that? Langley?

Anonymous







Anonymous wrote: Take your kids to some third world countries and let them see how kids their age live (and work).



We did. Istanbul, Turkey. And they say Syrian Refugee orphaned children begging for food on the street. It obviously impacted them. I did give them money. We did. Istanbul, Turkey. And they say Syrian Refugee orphaned children begging for food on the street. It obviously impacted them. I did give them money.

Anonymous







Parents don't want to do this bc it inconveniences their own lives, but I would mix in regular life with the luxuries they're used to. It isn't the worst thing in the world if once in a while you cancel the cleaning lady and/or landscaper and that week the kids have to vacuum and/or mow the lawn.



I know a lot of upper HHI folks travel a lot and stay in 5 star hotels, I realize the parents want to enjoy their money but why not make it so that a fabulous European vacation complete with 5 star hotels is followed by a beach vacation in a regular old rental house in Virginia Beach the next summer with no "compensation" for it -- i.e. oh since we didn't go to Europe this yr, we'll take 3 domestic trips. For short trips, why not stay at Marriotts and Hampton Inns sometimes so that the kids aren't always expecting luxury accommodations. Why not fly first class only every 3rd or 4th trip or randomly so that the kids recognize they are lucky to go at all and can't be demanding first class.

Anonymous







Anonymous wrote: Parents don't want to do this bc it inconveniences their own lives, but I would mix in regular life with the luxuries they're used to. It isn't the worst thing in the world if once in a while you cancel the cleaning lady and/or landscaper and that week the kids have to vacuum and/or mow the lawn.



I know a lot of upper HHI folks travel a lot and stay in 5 star hotels, I realize the parents want to enjoy their money but why not make it so that a fabulous European vacation complete with 5 star hotels is followed by a beach vacation in a regular old rental house in Virginia Beach the next summer with no "compensation" for it -- i.e. oh since we didn't go to Europe this yr, we'll take 3 domestic trips. For short trips, why not stay at Marriotts and Hampton Inns sometimes so that the kids aren't always expecting luxury accommodations. Why not fly first class only every 3rd or 4th trip or randomly so that the kids recognize they are lucky to go at all and can't be demanding first class.



I love your idea of slumming it at the Marriott and beach houses so that the kids stay grounded.



I love your idea of slumming it at the Marriott and beach houses so that the kids stay grounded.