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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: What we know about $2T stimulus deal | What's next: Pelosi says House will review package | Stocks rise on news of deal | Trump weighs high-stakes gamble on economy, virus | Economists fear impact of downturn | Why officials are still limiting testing | Prince Charles tests positive | John Mayer sings wrong 'Imagine'

LATEST WITH THE CORONAVIRUS STIMULUS

We have a deal!:

Via The Hill's Alexander Bolton and Jordain Carney, the White House and Senate have agreed to a $2 trillion economic stimulus bill to ease the economic impact during the coronavirus epidemic. https://bit.ly/2xmhnW8

Why the bill was held up: "Tempers flared when the discussions hung up on disagreements over the length of unemployment assistance, restrictions on executive pay and stock buybacks and a Democratic push to require distressed corporations that accept taxpayer assistance to keep workers on payroll."

WHAT'S IN THE BILL:

- A one-time check of $1,200 for Americans who make up to $75,000.

- $500 billion for a major corporate liquidity program through the Federal Reserve

- $367 billion for a small business loan program

- $100 billion for hospitals

- $150 billion for state and local governments

Everything we know: https://bit.ly/2xmhnW8

REACTION IN THE STOCK MARKET:

Stocks rose this morning after the White House and Senate reached a stimulus deal. https://bit.ly/2WHlXZG

The numbers: "The Dow Jones Industrial Average gained roughly 400 points, rising 2 percent as trading opened Wednesday morning. The S&P 500 rose 0.7 percent and the Nasdaq composite rose 0.6 percent as Congress closed in on passing a massive economic rescue package."

So, what happens after the Senate? We're all looking at you, Nancy:

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi Nancy PelosiTrump puts Supreme Court fight at center of Ohio rally CDC causes new storm by pulling coronavirus guidance Overnight Health Care: CDC pulls revised guidance on coronavirus | Government watchdog finds supply shortages are harming US response | As virus pummels US, Europe sees its own spike MORE (D-Calif.) declined to say how the House would pass it. https://bit.ly/33I466u

Pelosi did praise the bill: "This bipartisan legislation takes us a long way down the road in meeting the needs of the American people," she said in a statement.

But here's how she left it: "House Democrats will now review the final provisions and legislative text of the agreement to determine a course of action."

KEEP IN MIND:

Bloomberg's Steven Dennis cautioned: "It takes the consent of essentially *every* member of Congress to get this done in a day or two. (Louie Gohmert Louis (Louie) Buller GohmertRep. Dan Meuser tests positive for COVID-19 Watchdog calls for probe into Gohmert 'disregarding public health guidance' on COVID-19 Massie plans to donate plasma after testing positive for COVID-19 antibodies MORE sat on the House floor for a long time last week prepared to withhold consent on a bill that was an order of magnitude smaller.)" https://bit.ly/2UOk0Z5

He then added: "(You really don't want to know how long a single determined U.S. senator could delay this.)" https://bit.ly/2WG0wYS

PHOTO OF THE RAINY CAPITOL THIS MORNING:

https://bit.ly/2xl10ZY

It's Wednesday. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

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IN THE WHITE HOUSE

Trump's high-stakes gamble:

Via The Hill's Niall Stanage, "President Trump Donald John TrumpBubba Wallace to be driver of Michael Jordan, Denny Hamlin NASCAR team Graham: GOP will confirm Trump's Supreme Court nominee before the election Southwest Airlines, unions call for six-month extension of government aid MORE's latest call to reopen the United States economy within weeks has put him on a collision course with public health officials. If the president goes through with the idea of urging Americans back to work in less than a month, he would be rolling the dice in an extraordinary way amid the worst public health crisis in a century."

The downside: "The potential downside is enormous. If Trump makes the move and the coronavirus surges anew, U.S. health systems could be overwhelmed and a huge number of people could die. The president would likely be held culpable in the minds of many for such a catastrophe."

The upside: "There is a best-case scenario, too -- one in which the worst projections for the virus prove overblown and Trump is lauded by voters for saving their livelihoods in defiance of the more cautious advice of experts. Trump has grown increasingly restless with the restrictions that have been erected to try to slow the spread of the coronavirus. Around 100 million Americans are already under stay-at-home orders or about to be subject to such instructions."

How this could play out: https://bit.ly/3akK6cn

MEANWHILE, ECONOMISTS FEAR THE DOWNTURN WILL BE WORSE THAN THE GREAT RECESSION:

Via The Hill's Niv Elis: https://bit.ly/33Mxp84

WHERE THINGS STAND

Health officials have decided to limit testing, even as more kits are available: In an effort to conserve critical resources. https://bit.ly/2vOa2ON

A new map to see where the coronavirus cases are: IBM and The Weather Channel debuted a coronavirus map this morning. https://bit.ly/2JaMqqG

Anyone who has been in New York recently is told to self-quarantine: The Trump administration is advising people who have left New York to self-quarantine for 14 days to avoid the spread of the virus. https://bit.ly/2WJjDBA

A helpful graph: Here's a graphic of the coronavirus deaths by state and country over time: https://nyti.ms/3bnMejQ

The empty Las Vegas strip: Here's a photo (h/t The Hill's Reid Wilson) https://bit.ly/2xodX5n

NEWS THIS MORNING

Prince Charles tested positive for coronavirus:

Prince Charles, who is 71 years old, has tested positive for the coronavirus and is displaying "mild symptoms." https://bbc.in/2Uh4wxk

What about his wife, Camilla?: The Duchess of Cornwall does not have the virus.

When was the last time Prince Charles saw the Queen?: On March 12, according to Buckingham Palace.

What now?: Charles and Camilla are self-quarantining at their home in Scotland.

What we know: https://bbc.in/2Uh4wxk

LIGHTER TIDBITS

OK, this made me laugh:

i’m like actually losing my mind over this video John Mayer made. my king pic.twitter.com/2TBRf9znJW — annee (@annee_izatt) March 23, 2020

Watch: https://bit.ly/39hv3z3

NOTABLE TWEETS

In happier news:

Best 1 minute of your day



pic.twitter.com/nObKUHvwGu — Akki (@akkitwts) March 24, 2020

Watch: https://bit.ly/2vSZTAs

ON TAP

The Senate is in. The House is out. President Trump and Vice President Pence are in Washington, D.C.

10:30 a.m. EDT: Vice President Pence held a phone call with the Association of Equipment Manufactures Board of Directors.

11:30 a.m. EDT: President Trump received an intelligence briefing.

Noon: The Senate convened. The Senate's full schedule today: https://bit.ly/2vKEvgu

1 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence holds a call with educators.

2 p.m. EDT: President Trump holds a call with nonprofit organizations.

3 p.m. EST: Vice President Pence leads a White House Coronavirus Task Force meeting in the Situation Room.

WHAT TO WATCH

This morning: Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis Ron DeSantisTrump may meet with potential Supreme Court pick in Miami Florida governor unveils legislation targeting protesters in 'violent or disorderly' demonstrations Names to watch as Trump picks Ginsburg replacement on Supreme Court MORE (R) held a press conference on the coronavirus. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2UCRpWi

5 p.m. EDT: The White House Coronavirus Task Force holds its daily press briefing. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2xnchck

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Lobster Newburg Day.

And because it's been a weird, weird month, here is some entertaining evidence that we are all losing our minds: https://bit.ly/2vS2xq6

^ Though, this is very creative.