After delivering a stemwinder of a speech at the Republican National Convention on Tuesday night, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie settled in with the MSNBC “Morning Joe” crew for a chummy Wednesday morning recap. There, he delivered what has quickly become the mantra of Trump-supporting Republicans everywhere, whether they’re wildly enthusiastic, somewhat embarrassed, or merely vaguely nonplused: “Every Republican who is not working for Trump is working for Clinton.”

Ah, yes. If you’re a Republican, and if you’re not yet sold on Donald Trump taking the reins of the most powerful country in the world—or, for that matter, representing your party—you have likely heard this line everywhere you turn. You’ll hear it from House Speaker Paul Ryan, who has described the election as a “binary choice.” You’ll hear it from Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, although he tends to shy away from using actual names: “He is better than she is.” You’ll hear it from just about any person you’ll meet on the street who supports the GOP nominee.

“Donald Trump was not my first choice for president,” Christie told the “Morning Joe” hosts. “I was.” Laughter quickly filled the studio, including a rueful chuckle from Christie himself. “But it didn’t work out,” he continued, “so as a result you’ve got to decide. And I said this to Jeb Bush the other day: ‘It’s chicken or fish, man. It’s one or the other.’”

This is, quite simply, bizarre, and it’s time to call shenanigans on this merrily chugging and strangely persistent Train to the Land of Groupthink. First of all, “Chicken or Fish: YOU MUST CHOOSE” is a terrible analogy for this election. We do not live in a gulag cafeteria with a crazed dictatorial chef—at least not yet. We do not live on the set of “A Clockwork Orange.” This is America, and, as I like to remind people, it’s a free country, at least for now.

Second of all, our supposed “binary” choices—more on that later—are far worse than chicken or fish. This election is not a fun wedding with free drinks. It is not even a mildly boring corporate boondoggle at a mid-level convention hotel! Proverbial chicken or fish, at least as served from America’s two major political parties, would be a true pleasure at this point. Instead, we have a choice between an old chunk of Juicy Fruit that you have to peel out from under the back seat of a rusty, out-of-commission school bus, and a slightly older chunk of Big Red for which you have to do the same. Oh, and the Big Red has some sparkles attached.

Do you like Juicy Fruit better than Big Red? Congratulations! Your choice is easy, and you should feel free to make it. But it’s a big country, my friends—much bigger than Paul Ryan or Chris Christie would suggest.

“I would love to live in a world where I can say, well, I don’t like the choice of my own party; therefore, I’m just going to sit it out,” Christie told MSNBC, sounding disgusted. This is weird, considering the fact that “sitting it out” is quite possible all over America—and in many states, it won’t make a lick of difference. In this light, it could even be seen as an honorable choice, sending a message to a political party that has gone off the rails.

Additionally, contrary to what GOP lockstep luminaries would have you believe, this election is not a “binary choice.” You could vote for libertarian Gary Johnson, for instance, who is currently polling at 13 percent.

Ah! But according to Paul Ryan, that won’t work either: “We’re all on the same team,” he told the press. “We all want the same thing. Voting for anybody but Donald Trump means you’re voting for Hillary Clinton.” Got that? “Anybody” other than Donald Trump is unacceptable, because you’re on a “team.” You should also be blindly loyal to that “team,” even though it has just been taken over by a person whose most consistent historical political sentiments seem to involve donating to people like Hillary Clinton.

This, my friends, is not exactly thinking outside the box. It is not how the heroes of history made their marks. I don’t know about you, but I prefer my vote to be earned, not coerced via the vague strands of GOP establishment guilt.

The irony of all of this, of course, is that for all of this talk about loyalty and teams, Donald Trump plays on only one team: his own. Asked whether Trump would ultimately betray Republicans, Chris Christie proceeded to bury the nominee, as Trump surrogates often do, in a fog of faint praise. “There’s a very good chance he won’t do it,” Christie said, conveniently ignoring the fact that Trump recently told the press he didn’t care whether the GOP lost the Senate.

“What motivates Donald Trump is winning,” Christie continued. “More than anything else, what motivates him is wanting to be a winner, and not wanting to be a loser.” Well, that’s just marvelous. In politics, what could be better than a principle-free desire to win? That certainly never involves selling out your supporters or cutting questionable deals. “Eh,” the GOP seems to say, “we’ll figure that out when it happens.” Go, team!