Bec Heim

Content Editor

Hello my fellow Gleeks!

This is our last recap of season four of Glee. And I have to admit that I’m pretty bummed out. I mean as much as the show as made me pull out my hair, I have come to enjoy out little “lady chat” recaps together in the half of season I’ve been doing this. Don’t worry though! I will be back for season five and six! Still this will always hold a special place in my heart.

Now with all that sentimental stuff out of the way. Let’s get down to business. We have been promised answers and cliffhangers! A lot going both ways since well we’re ending in the middle of a year for a change instead of the end of the year.

(I am going to love seeing how they produce a Christmas album next year. That is going to be hilarious.)

Will Rachel get the part in Funny Girl? (I hope not.) Will New Directions win Regionals? (It would be nice to give the newbies an authentic win) Will we found out who is Catfishing Ryder? (Oh God I hope so.) Will we finally get an answer as to where Finn is? (Pffft. No.)

According to Jacob Artist, not even the cast knows how this is going to end guys. So with those questions in mind, let’s recap “All or Nothing”.

Plots

All Or Nothing (Leave It On The Dance Floor): It is time for New Directions to have their moment. They’ve had a long tough year with not winning Sectionals, having two teachers in the course of the year, relationship drama, school violence, awkward moments in the choir. They deserve this you guys. And this time they’re actually planning ahead! However, since Indiana is having tornado scares they’re having it at McKinley (a.k.a. budgetary reasons because of hiring really famous guest actors). Also the NunTouchables have been excommunicated by the new Pope due to a sexting scandal. (Please if the Pope excommunicated ALL the kids in Catholic schools who were involved in a sexting scandal…) So they have competition from another acapella all boy’s school.

Rachel Has Her Final Callback For Funny Girl: …

Moving on!

Brittany Has Been Written Into a Bad Fanfic (But It’s Real): So apparently Brittany is a secret math/science genius. I read a fanfic like this once. What this really means is that Heather Morris is pregnant and we need to write her off the show. Brittany gets an offer from MIT for early admission that starts ASAP. But the offer, and facing the fact that she has to leave New Directions, sends her into a genuine meltdown. She acts like a bigger diva than Rachel at her worst in the choir room. She breaks up with Sam via text. She also refuses to talk with anyone except if its on Fondue For Two. Sam calls in the reinforcements a.k.a. Santana Lopez. Santana gets Brittany to spill the beans and get over herself. Brittany shows up at Regionals. In a rather touching and sweet scene, she describes how amazing New Directions has been to her. How they are all her family and how she loves them so very much. Heather Morris sells this scene and I get a bit a emotional. Especially that last scene where it’s utterly quiet and it’s just Brittany and Santana. They hug and walk offstage together and I am a wreck. We’ll miss you Brittany!

Blaine Has Just Lost His Damn Mind: Klaine shippers. Please. This doesn’t make sense. They are broken up. They haven’t talked in several episodes. As far as I know Kurt and Adam are still dating! Blaine proposing to Kurt is totally stupid! If this happens after a lot of honest conversation, a mature decision, Blaine owning up to his mistakes and hard work…fine! Because then they worked toward a relationship! Blaine getting swept up into this romantic wave is just…it cheapens it. Weren’t he and Kurt non supportive of Finchel’s engagement last season?! HAS HE LEARNED NOTHING?! Why isn’t Blaine listening to reason here? Why isn’t he listening to Kurt when Kurt says that they aren’t together? You don’t propose to someone you are not in a real committed relationship with Blaine! WHY?! AGH!

Marriage Mayhem: In his quest for the perfect engagement ring, Blaine meets Jan, an older lesbian who owns a jewelry store. Jan invites Blaine and Kurt out to dinner with Liz, her “soulmate”. After educating Blaine and Kurt on some of their cultural heritage as well as about the sweeping allowance of gay marriage in the states. Jan proposes to Liz! Yaaay! However, they’re not the only couple going down the aisle. After Regionals, Will and Emma get married in the choir room, which made me all sweet and nostalgic. (But I still missed Finn and the old members of ND there.) After the wedding and everyone cheering we see that Blaine has something that looks like a ringbox in his hand…

Ryder Finally Caught The Catfish: So Ryder (and the audience) has finally had enough teasing about the possibly identity of the Catfish. He makes it clear that if no one comes forward than he’s done. Marley says that she is the Catfish. Ryder gets upset because she swore that it wasn’t her. He quits glee club. Marley tries to convince him to come back because he shouldn’t let the whole team down because of one person’s mistake. Ryder just wants to know why she did it. And before Marley can say something. Unique appears and tells Ryder that she is the Catfish (CALLED IT!). She tells him that she was too shy to talk with him. In a flashback with Marley, Unique confesses that it was just innocent way of getting to know a boy she liked but just got deeper and deeper as time went on. Ultimately she was too scared to tell Ryder and lose that special bond they had. Unique says that she is still Katie, the picture was fake, but everything else was real and she never meant to hurt him. She was just scared. She tells Ryder to hit her or something. However, Ryder says that he’s never speaking to her again. Ever. Ryder doesn’t punish the team though and shows up to perform. He does say that he’s not going to be with New Directions after Regionals though. (I’m calling bull on that. Ryder is definitely going to be back. Can anyone else see it coming?)

Speaking of Competition: We’ll get more indepth with this in the song department. However, the competiton was interesting to watch. We found an all male acapella group who is even richer than the Warblers! (They were wearing tuxes people!) The Hoosierdaddies like doing strange hand dances. Contortionists creep me the hell out. And New Directions wins!!! Yay!!!! It’s not my favorite competition performance. But I loved the dresses and had fun watching it.

Random Thoughts/Favorite Moments

I have a super nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. Anyone else?

Thank God that someone is bring this up!

I liked the opening title card.

Oh interesting!

Speaking as someone who went to Catholic school her whole life, this happens quite a bit.

Waffletoots? I prefer NunTouchables myself.

You all know my feelings about Rachel getting the part. I am so done discussing this. I am fine with her being casted. Just don’t give her the lead role at nineteen. Give her a chorus part! Having a chorus part on Broadway at nineteen is nothing to sneeze at!

This room has astounding acoustics.

Oh God we’re still on this nonsense. THANK YOU SAM!

Is Brittany having another break down again? Wow. She is.

Poor Ryder.

Marley is totally taking the fall here for someone else guys.

Tina why are you getting into this?

Patty Duke! Hello! Wait…no Patty Duke. Don’t humor him here!

The placenta line made me laugh.

Michael Bolton? Really? That’s kind of awesome.

Awww that is so freaking sweet!

Totally saw this coming!

Damn Alex Newell and Blake Jenner utterly sold this for me.

Sweet Britanna scene.

The contortionist made my body hurt looking at her.

Say hey to the Yale Whiffinpoofs everyone! …Wait! This is “Rainbow Connection” I’ve been wanting Glee to do this for years! No! Don’t make it background music! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING THIS BACKGROUND MUSIC?!?! Goddammit where’s the liquor? I need a drink.

Say hi to Jessica Sanchez again!

Brittany’s speech is making me want to cry.

HOLY SHIT THEY’RE LETTING JOE SING?!

I really love the dresses here guys. Very pretty.

Santana handing Kurt the tissue because she knew he was totally crying.

WHY ARE YOU HANDING THE TROPHY’S LIKE THAT LADY?!

YAY! They won! Well of course they were going to win. Awww. The awkward hug between Ryder and Unique. It would be really interesting explore this more in season 5.

Damn I totally called this too! Me and like half of the Internet.

…Wait? That’s it?! YOU UTTER BASTARDS!!! I DO NOT WANT TO GO THROUGH MY ENTIRE SUMMER HEARING THE FANDOM ARGUE ABOUT RACHEL GETTING THE PART OR NOT!

Songs

“To Love You More” sung by Rachel Berry: Actually I think this is my favorite solo Rachel vocal of the season. She sounded really good in it. I mean I still don’t want her to get Fanny. But that vocal alone makes me want her to get casted as something in Funny Girl. It was very beautiful. I enjoyed it. I can’t really comment outside of that. This was honestly all about Rachel being Rachel. My only complaint and nitpick is that this is her final callback. Shouldn’t she be singing something actually from the show? It’s the time when singing a song from Funny Girl is actually appropriate. I loved the vocal but wished it was a different song. B+

“Clarity” sung by Frida Romero and the Hoosierdaddies: Okay. I have to admit something. I don’t get the whole Jessica Sanchez thing. I tried beforehand. But no. I don’t like her voice at all. It sounds overly autotuned here in some spots. And I get that the girl is trying but…tiny girl with a big voice and a featured soloist? I’ll take Sunshine or Rachel over Frida. (I would say Harmony but she’s tall.) It just wasn’t good. If you want a cover of “Clarity” to listen to then I suggest Sam Tsui’s version of it. I prefer it a lot more over this. C-

“Wings” sung by Frida Romero and some random Hoosierdaddies singer with the Hoosierdaddies: This one was a little bit better. The dancing was fun. Her voice sounded less auto-tuned. It was a solid performance. Not all that interesting. C+

“Hall of Fame” sung by New Directions Boys: Okay. Maybe this is after hearing The Voice butcher it on Wednesday. But I really, really enjoyed this performance. They girls did just enough backing. Each boy had their moment to shine. Plus the dancing looked really solid onstage. It was a fun solid opening number. B+

“I Love It” sung by New Directions Girls: I loved the faux British accents they had when singing. It was hilarious! Not sure if this was a good competition song. But this is definitely going into my Glee guilty pleasures playlist. It was fun and bubbly. I just feel dirty for liking it because it’s theme song for something having to do with Snookie. However, the girls were MUCH more interesting and connected than the girl power number the Hoosierdaddies tried to sell us. I didn’t love it. But I liked it. B+

“All Or Nothing” sung by Marley Rose and Blaine Anderson: Now this was a song I really liked. It kind of fit in with “Dream” theme the most. It sounded like a song about reaching for your dreams. Melissa Benoist shows offer her vocal chops again. Darren Criss sounds great. It’s a nice mellow-y, floaty close that feels a little bit dreamlike in tone. I just really liked listening to this song. A-

And…that’s it! My last recap for Glee season four.

Goodbye my Gleeks. I’ll see you in season five.

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