OTTAWA – Chief of Defence Staff General Jonathan Vance has announced a full-scale military operation involving all 68,000 Regular and 27,000 Reserves, which aims to destroy all elements of military sexual misconduct within the Canadian Forces.

Operation Honour, which was first launched last year, intends to regain the moral high ground that the Canadian Forces has lost over the years from repeated legal and media assaults.

“Intelligence has indicated that the enemy is deeply embedded within the military psyche,” explained Gen. Vance pointing to a map with various arrows resembling the Schlieffen Plan. “The next phase of the operation will involve airstrikes against these heavily fortified positions of homophobia, rape culture, and sexist jokes that members still think are acceptable. With the targets softened, infantry units from PPCLI, RCR, and the Vandoos will perform a flanking maneuver on sexual objectification and victim blaming with the support of the Royal Dragoons and Lord Strathcona’s armoured regiments.”

While Vance remained tight-lipped about the Special Forces operations, rumours have been circulating that JTF2 will be tasked with disrupting symbolic bridges of misogyny and male privilege.

Canadian Military Engineers have been assigned with rebuilding the broken military justice system and the Communications and Electronics Branch has been assigned to ensure sexual harassment is properly reported up the chain of command.

At sea, HMCS Fredericton will lead a Task Group searching for hostile smut and sexualized hazing lurking below the surface.

General Vance is hopeful that this operation will be as successful as operations from previous years in CF history including Operation Sweep It Under The Rug and Operation She’s Lying.