Most substance abusers eventually hit bottom—usually an embarrassing and humiliating postbinge episode indicative of a life out of control. Many ignore the wake-up call, but others seek help, often finding it in the form of the 12-step program laid out in 1939 by Bill Wilson in “Alcoholics Anonymous.” The book’s dozen core principles have since been adapted to treat a variety of ruinous addictions.

So why not a 12-step program for Democrats of the 114th Congress? Surely the party’s defeat in November qualifies as an epic bottoming...