Munchist (noun): Malayalam social media slang for paedophiles who attempt to legitimise paedophilia as a legitimate sexual orientation, using complex political and philosophical arguments.

In recent times, a new formation has made themselves visible on Malayalam social media. This seemingly random coalition of identity-politics groups and postmodernists appear to have an agenda, a long-term play, of changing the established social and political norms around paedophilia. To be precise, this motley group of low-lives have been working hard to try and legitimise paedophilia.

Their primary argument (often made on the crutches of postmodernist philosophy) goes along the lines of: “Paedophilia is a legitimate sexual orientation just like being gay, lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual. When a progressive society imposes restrictions against paedophilia, it is tantamount to violence against the sexual rights of paedophiles.”

However, these attempts to normalise paedophilia remained within the theoretical echo-chambers of this lot and were either laughed off or ignored for the most part. Until a man called Muhammed Farhad crossed over from the realms of theory and the shit got real.

Farhad, a self-proclaimed art student, made this startling claim on Facebook.

Translation:

“In my opinion, any sexuality is natural even if it is felt by just one person. What is unnatural is to demand that I should perform sexual intercourse according to your fantasies. Look, there is this girl, a 5th standard student, that I meet regularly. I have strong sexual feelings for her, in addition to love. I buy her a Munch (chocolate brand) every day.. and in return, I enjoy her love towards me. This is all quite natural.”

In what can only be seen as evidence for the deep thought and planning that has gone into their long-term goal of normalising paedophilia, Farhad even published a version of LGBT rainbow with a “P” suffixed.

Yeah right, P for “Pedosexual”.

Predictably, Farhad was castigated by all and sundry, leading to him deleting his posts and subsequently deactivating his Facebook account.

Farhad (by then labelled a “Munchist” by the ever sharp Malayalam social media, a dig on his bait of choice, Cadbury Munch) returned to Facebook a few days later, to make this highly provocative, pseudo-philosophical argument to justify his perversion:

Translation:

“A thinking man feels sexual desire towards three types of people — a soft child, a hard man and a stimulated brain. All other types of sexual desires are merely joyless masturbatory exercises.”

Among all the responses to this declaration of perversion, one response stood out:

Translation:

“You rock, dude!”

Here begins the rise and rise of Anoop VR, an hitherto unknown Indian Youth Congress activist from Guruvayoor, Thrissur.

On receiving brickbats from all quarters for his perceived appreciation of Farhad’s perversion, Anoop initially tried to play the “I was being sarcastic!” card but was brutally laughed out of the room by Malayalam social media.

The State Child Rights Commission, in the meantime, had ordered an investigation and Kerala Police charged Farhad with relevant sections of the IT Act (no victim or victim’s parent has been found yet, to charge him with more serious sex crimes).

Enter Anoop, attempting to broker a “compromise” at the police station and failing at it. He goes on to make a Facebook post where he attempts to white-wash Farhad’s perversions as “just some immature social media posts” and for a good measure, he throws in a new twist: Islamophobia.

Anoop, the unknown IYC activist struggling to build a brand for himself in the “big tent” that is the Indian National Congress, rapidly latches on this goldmine and starts modifying the narrative to shift the focus on to Farhad’s religion. Voila! Farhad is now the victim of islamophobia and Anoop VR is the knight in shining armour! Anoop, already a darling of the postmodernists and paedophiles, now becomes the poster boy for the Islamists on Malayalam Facebook.

During all these events, most pro-INC handles on Facebook and Twitter were left gaping in disbelief. WHO is this guy? Where did he come from all of a sudden? Why on earth is this paedophile-defender speaking on behalf of the Indian National Congress?

Fast-forward to January 2018 and Anoop is on prime-time Malayalam TV news, as a Congress spokesman, defending VT Balram a Congress MLA who is in the dock for making derogatory statements about AK Gopalan, not just one of the tallest Communist leaders from Kerala but also the Leader of the Opposition in the first Lok Sabha.

VT Balram had courted controversy by labelling AK Gopalan a “paedophile”, by cherry-picking and misquoting a line from AKG’s autobiography.

He misquotes an adult AKG saying this about a teenaged Susheela (his eventual wife):

“With the growing Communist movement in India, the blooming Susheela sprouted desires in me.”

But the original text reads:

“I developed an affection for Susheela, who was evolving with the growing Communist movement in India”

This leaves NS Madhavan, the celebrated Malayalam writer sufficiently stumped so that he takes to Twitter and asks this:

How did VT Balram, with his stack of graduate and post-graduate qualifications make such a gross mis-interpretation of a simple Malayalam sentence from AKG’s autobiography?

It is simple. Balram did not quote AKG’s book at all.

Instead, he has quoted from a defence of Farhad and his fellow Munchists, penned by Anoop VR on 6th May 2017. The strategy employed by Anoop in that article was basically to try and normalise paedophilia and in what can only be a way to blunt attacks from CPI(M) supporters, Anoop makes the following (mis)quote from AKG’s autobiography:

“With the growing Communist movement in India, the blooming Susheela sprouted desires in me.”

The same exact line that VT Balram used last week on Facebook.

This, along with Anoop’s presence on mass-viewership Malayalam channels, representing Congress, answers the question that had been wracking everyone’s brain: Who is Anoop’s god-father in the INC? It is clearly none other than VT Balram.

One can only guess VT Balram’s motives in cultivating an underling like Anoop VR.

Does Balram, one of Rahul Gandhi’s “Parachute MLAs” who, according to even many of his own party members, “got a party ticket by acing an exam instead of doing the hard yards of Kerala politics” have his eyes on the identity politics groups that Anoop speaks for? By allowing Anoop and his cronies to hijack and appropriate the INC’s youth setup in the state, is VT Balram looking to grab control of the party?

All these are legitimate political tactics in a multi-party democracy and especially so in a big-tent outfit like INC.

However, every INC Kerala well-wisher must think of the stinky cesspool into which VT Balram is dragging the party, by continuing to sponsor a paedophile-supporter, by mainstreaming a paedophile-supporter as the TV-face of the party and by brazenly plodding on with the support of every Munchist scum on Malayalam social media despite the clear and unequivocal criticism from almost every Congress leader in the state.

Consider as an example, this Facebook chat with Farhad, where Anoop says:

“Don’t worry. It is not INC’s stance on the issue. He is willing to join you guys.”

Who is this “he”?

More importantly, Anoop, a person who represents the Indian National Congress on social- and visual-media is giving what assurances to a self-confessed paedophile?

Why does an articulate and media-savvy person like VT Balram who normally never shuns a TV spot, send a person like Anoop to defend him on TV?

It is not far-fetched to suggest that Balram manufactured the current controversy by purposefully flinging mud at a legend of Kerala politics, with the primary aim of launching Anoop and mainstreaming his perverted ideas.

He has succeeded. The Munchists are now out of their Facebook echo-chamber and in our living rooms.

The people of Kerala have time and again voted the Congress led UDF back into power. In fact, even when the national trends were against the Congress, it was Kerala that wholeheartedly stood with the Congress. The results of the general elections of 1977 and 2014 are a resounding attestation to this pro Congress sentiment that runs throughout Kerala, thanks to the connect Congress stalwarts like K Karunakaran and Oommen Chandy have cultivated with Malayalis cutting across political affiliations.

What this controversy involving the ‘Munchists’ does is that, it erodes the faith of the general public in the Congress, as it would seem that the party they have held close to them is aligning with certain vested interests that pose a threat to the existing social fabric of the state. In the 2016 elections, the Congress was routed from power due to various scams. Now, to regain the confidence of the public, it would seem that a purge is essential to ensure that the Congress is the party that can ensure the harmonious co-existence of the various sections of the people of Kerala.

To withstand that purification, aspiring leaders like VT Balram and Anoop VR will have to come clean on their ‘Munchist’ agenda.