I am content, loved and cared by many people. One can say I am living a perfect life, a perfect family and few good friends probably one can ask for. But still, somewhere, in my life, I feel lost. I feel something is missing.

I go for my job I attend parties. I go out for social gatherings. I enjoy music on weekends. I even dance many times.

Sometimes, I turn off the radio, press the pause button. I found myself in darkness. I could hear my heartbeat and wanted to mute it. I got an intense urge to get out of everything. It starts draining me. I began to lose my power.

Sure, it could be a partner. But I donâ€™t want to jump into a relationship until I feel like. The same time, I enjoy my loneliness, I love to be in me. I like to explore myself. My true potentials, my inner and outer surface.

And then I saw my family. I forget everything I was thinking about. And I rewind my happy mode again.

I have been in love. The real kinda love. The canâ€™t sleep, canâ€™t eat, dancing on the fairy tale of my momâ€™s night story and all these weird kinda stuff. But at the end, that was not supposed to be mine. I accepted the reality and moved on.

I am happy with myself. To best of my capacity, I am making improvements every day to be better who I am today. Learning new things, making every second count and discovering things about me. I have changed my life and others along the way.

All the mistakes I have made Iâ€™ve come to peace with and learned from.Â At times, I have been the reason of someoneâ€™s cry. And now, I am trying to flourish smile on someoneâ€™s face.

I smile, and the very next moment it loses it freshness. I know my emotional walls are very high. I take time to trust someone, to give them liberty to make me smile, but I enjoy their company.

My job isnâ€™t my dream, but I enjoy it. My life isnâ€™t a reflection of my dreams, but I donâ€™t have any complaints. My happiness doesnâ€™t depend on others as far as I know my worth.

This is a kind of feeling I probably cannot share with anyone.

I feel like I am on a path to something great. There is something special about me. Something that will fill this hole in my life in the blink of an eye. But something in the here and now holding me back from something great.

I know I need to go far deeper inside me to find the reason of my unattended and unnamed sadness.

If you are like me, feeling something is missing. Donâ€™t give up, keep exploring your life. I know it feels like youâ€™re never going to find that missing piece, but the discovery worth your time.

Just keep going, just keep swimming with the flow, donâ€™t settle. Life itself will find its path.

Comments

comments