Landon took a deep breath as he crossed through the kitchen toward the living room, where both of his parents sat watching TV. It would be impossible to sneak out unnoticed this time.

He hated the dread and guilt that plagued him every time this happened. Normal people could go spend time with their boyfriends without having to worry, so why couldn’t he? Of course, the question was rhetorical. Landon already knew the answer all too well.

“Where are you off to, honey?” His mother asked as Landon entered.

“Just going to Asher’s.” He replied as casually as he could.

His father glanced up at him then, eyeing him curiously for a moment. “You’ve sure been spending a lot of time with him lately…”

Landon’s heart had begun racing in his chest, but he fought as hard as he could not to let his face betray him. “Well, yeah. We’re friends.”

Mr. Littlehale’s expression was difficult to read. “Just a little odd that you’re spending so much time with someone so…”

Landon felt his breath catch in his throat as his mind imagined all the ways his father could finish that sentence. His parents had only met Asher twice, both times very fleeting… But his father was one of the most judgemental people Landon knew. Was he about to call Asher some horrible insult? Or perhaps even worse, had he picked up on the fact that Asher was gay? Had he already guessed the true nature of their relationship?

“Smart.” His father finished at last.

A wave of relief washed over Landon. It wasn’t Asher that Mr. Littlehale had chosen to insult, but Landon himself. And that was a hell of a lot easier to swallow.

“Yeah, well, I’m hoping it’ll start rubbing off on me if we hang out enough.” He replied with a chuckle, indulging his father the best he could.

Mr. Littlehale chuckled heartily in reply. “No offense, son, but we both know that ship sailed a long time ago… No hope for you anymore, I’m afraid.”

Though his tone was teasing, Landon could sense the truth behind those words. There was a time in his life when the jab would have nearly reduced him to tears, but after so many years, he was immune to it now.

“Oh, be nice.” His mother scolded her husband somewhat half-heartedly. “You know he’s just joking, sweetie.” She lied, turning her eyes toward her son.

Her husband dismissed her with a small wave of his hand. “Of course he does… And anyway, it’s like I always say, being smart isn’t everything.”

You didn’t ‘always say’ that, Dad. Landon thought bitterly. It wasn’t until he was a Freshman in high school that his father had finally stopped nagging him constantly about his grades.

“Speaking of which…” His father continued, his gruff voice calling Landon back to the present. “You make up your mind for next year yet? Signing period already started a few days ago, didn’t it?”

He felt his heart sink at this unwelcome reminder that he was running out of time to settle on a college for next year. “Yeah, still figuring it out… It’s kind of a big deal. So I shouldn’t rush it, right?”

His father’s reply was a soft grunt of indifference as he finally turned his attention back to the news report.

Landon’s mother smiled up at him. “Well, you know your father and I will be proud of you no matter where you go.” She said, and he wished he could believe it. “Anyway, have fun with your friend… And don’t be back too late!”

“I won’t.” He assured her, trying to force a smile in return. “Bye, Mom… See ya, Dad.”

Landon was distracted the entire way to Asher’s house. The looming threat of leaving for college in just a few short months still hung dangerously over their heads, sinking closer and closer with each passing day.

There was a time when the decision would have been simple — getting as far away from home as possible would have been an easy solution, and accepting Ohio State’s offer would have been a total no-brainer. They were one of the best college football teams in the entire country. Playing for them would be a literal dream come true…

But it was a dream that would take him over two thousand miles away from Asher. And the thought of leaving him behind was simply too much for Landon to take. He had already had his heart broken once before, when Riley left him last year. There was no way he could do that again.

Landon tucked his sadness and uncertainty away as he parked in the empty driveway and made his way up the walkway toward the Rosebrooks’ house. There was no point in dwelling on it now. He still had plenty of time to decide.

“Hey, Landon.” Asher greeted him at the door with a smile and a kiss, and that alone was enough to help his worries melt away… for now, anyway.

He smiled as they finally broke apart. “Hey. Happy… Pre-Valentines Day?” He let out a small chuckle.

It was nearly a week until the fourteenth, but today happened to be a very rare Saturday when they’d have one of the houses all to themselves. Elaina was off at some weekend music camp, and both Emberlynn and Xander would be at important client meetings all day, so Landon and Asher had decided to take advantage of this privacy by spending the day together and celebrating a little early.

Asher grinned at Landon’s words. “Hope pizza and some of my dad’s beer are a decent substitute for chocolate and flowers?” He teased.

Landon smiled playfully at him. “Only if it’s got extra cheese.”

With an over-dramatic sigh of relief, Asher led the way down the hall. “Penny’s still around.” He warned Landon as they headed up the stairs together. “But Ollie’s gonna be here to pick her up any minute.”

Landon found himself clenching his jaw for a moment at the sound of Ollie’s name, but the sudden burst of jealousy was fleeting. He said nothing as he followed Asher into his bedroom where, sure enough, a pizza and a couple of beers waited for them. The TV in the corner displayed the Bloodwatch home screen, and a pair of controllers lay on the bench by the pizza box, ready to be used.

A pleasant warmth came to Landon’s chest at the sight. “You’re the best, Asher. Seriously.” He gave his boyfriend a soft kiss on the cheek.

The way Asher blushed in response was adorable. “You really think so? I mean, it’s not really a big deal or anything.” He muttered awkwardly. “But… I’m glad you like it.”

“I do.” Landon assured him with another smile. “And I’m glad you got plenty of pizza… I’m gonna need extra fuel so I can kick your ass.”

“Ha! Yeah, we’ll see about that…”

Sometime during their multiple slices of pizza and repeated rounds of their videogame, Oliver arrived to pick up Penny. The only clue was the slam of a car door from down below, and the sounds of Penelope’s footsteps as she made her way past Asher’s bedroom door and down the stairs. Landon eyed his boyfriend uncertainly at the sound, searching for some sort of reaction.

It was strange — Asher had been incredibly quiet about Oliver for weeks now. And while it made Landon happy, it also made him a bit nervous and uneasy. Why the sudden change? He still wasn’t sure. But, to his pleasant surprise, Asher showed no sign of even having heard his sister leave.

After beating Landon for the second time in a row, Asher finally paused the game and put down his controller. “So, uh, what was that you were saying about kicking my ass?”

“Pfft… No fair. I’m not used to the controls on console!”

Asher shrugged playfully in reply. “‘Home field advantage’, right?”

“Exactly!” Landon replied with a laugh. “I would’ve kicked your ass on PC. I always do.”

It was a moment before Asher replied. His smile was suddenly much smaller than it had been before. “I’d better get practicing then… We’ll be playing on PC a lot more pretty soon, won’t we?”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you go to college.” Asher explained sadly. “I mean, unless you go somewhere nearby, we won’t really see each other, right? We’ll have to play online…”

“Oh. Yeah…” Landon let out a soft sigh. Why did this conversation keep coming up today? “Well, I haven’t made up my mind yet. San Diego’s still an option. And that means I could come visit on the weekends… We could play then.”

Asher shook his head. “What about Ohio? Isn’t that like, your dream school?”

He bit his lip. “It is, but… it’s so far…”

To his surprise, Asher’s voice was suddenly hard. “You’d better not be letting me hold you back from what you really want. I don’t want you giving up on your dream school just because of me! You’ve worked way too hard for this.”

“I know…” Landon’s voice was pained. “I just don’t wanna lose you.” He confessed. It was strangely freeing to finally voice his fears aloud.

“Just because you’re far away doesn’t mean you have to ‘lose me’. People make long distance work all the time, right?” Asher replied seriously. “I mean, my parents… Okay, actually, they aren’t the best example. They didn’t get together til they weren’t as far away anymore.” He admitted. “But no matter how many miles apart they were, it never changed how they felt about each other. And it won’t change for me either!”

But what about your feelings for OLLIE? Landon wanted to ask. What would happen when he was thousands of miles away, and Asher was left alone with those feelings too? If he had those feelings, that is. How much of it was real and how much was in Landon’s head was still uncertain. And it wasn’t something he could confront Asher about.

It seemed that Asher could see the uncertainty on his face. “Hey, come here.” He reached out, taking Landon’s hand in his as he continued. “You’re the most amazing person, Landon. I love being with you, and nothing’s ever gonna change that.” He seemed to hesitate for the briefest moment, a flash of something flickering across his eyes before he continued. “You’re the only one I wanna be with.” Asher finished seriously.

Landon wanted nothing more than to believe him. “You promise?”

Again, he almost seemed to hesitate. But maybe it was just Landon’s imagination. At last, Asher gave a small nod. “And… since we have the house to ourselves… I…” Despite his smile, his voice shook slightly with nervousness. “I think I know how I can prove it to you…”

Landon’s heart gave a small leap of excitement in spite of himself. “You’re sure?” He asked guiltily. “Because last time…”

“I know. But I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was.” Asher explained, clearly still embarrassed about what had happened a couple of weeks ago. Landon felt so guilty — it had been his suggestion last time, and Asher had gone along with it… But they hadn’t made it very far before they’d had to stop. “But this time, I am. I’m ready. I swear.”

“If you’re sure…” The excitement Landon had felt a few moments ago was growing by the second. “We’ll take it even slower this time. And you call all the shots, okay?”

Asher nodded. Though he still appeared nervous, it was clear he’d made up his mind. “It’s okay, Landon. I trust you.”

Before he could reply, Asher had pulled him in for a deep, slow kiss.

And after that, there was no need for words anymore.

When it was all over, Landon held Asher to his chest, their bare skin damp and warm against each other. Though both of their breathing was ragged and uneven, he couldn’t help but notice that their hearts were beating in perfect time with each other.

It was the closest Landon had ever felt to another person in his entire life, and every single doubt he’d felt about Asher’s feelings for him had vanished.

“Holy fuck…” Asher’s hoarse whisper called him back to the present. “That was incredible.”

“It was.” He agreed softly, brushing his lips against Asher’s forehead. “And you are too…”

He heard Asher pause for a moment then, taking a deep breath. “Landon… I… I think I —“

SLAM!

The entire house seemed to shake at the sound of an echoing bang from the first floor. It was followed by a series of booming stomps that could only be footsteps, storming through the front entryway and up the stairs toward the second floor.

Asher leapt out of the bed at the sound. Landon’s heart sank instantly. Was he about to say…?

Asher reached down into the pile of clothes beside the bed. “What the fuck was that?!” He hastily wiped himself off with the wrinkled t-shirt he’d been wearing before, then frantically pulled on his boxers.

Landon followed suit, putting on his underwear to cover himself the best he could as Asher made his way to the bedroom door to investigate.

Now Landon could make out the sound of loud, wailing sobs mingled with the heavy footfalls.

“Penny? Are you okay?” Asher asked nervously as he opened the bedroom door and stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind him.

“I’m sorry, Penny. Just… try and let me explain…” A deep voice they hadn’t been able to make out before was now pleading from the other side of the door.

“I’ve heard enough!” Penelope screeched back. “I know exactly what’s going on. This is about Asher, isn’t it?! Un-fucking-real!”

It sounded like Asher spoke then, but the words were too quiet to hear behind the heavy wooden door.

“Oh look, there he is!” The young girl’s shriek reached Landon’s ears much more clearly than her brother’s voice had. “Looks like he was in the middle of fucking his boyfriend! Why don’t you see if there’s room for one more, huh? That’s what you want, isn’t it?!”

There was another slamming of a door then, nearly as loud as the first.

“Penny, that’s not… You don’t know what you’re talking about!” The deeper voice spoke again, and this time, Landon easily recognized it as Ollie’s. He seemed to be pounding his fists against a door further down the hallway. “Promise you aren’t gonna blame Ash for this. It was all me, okay? Just me! And I’m sorry!”

There were a few moments of silence, followed by a pair of muttering voices Landon knew belonged to Asher and Ollie. He wished he could make out what they were saying.

Then the bedroom door opened once more, and Asher reappeared, clearly shaken.

“Yikes…” Landon muttered, unsmiling. A twisting sensation he could not quite name had slowly begun invading the pit of his stomach.

Asher bit his lip uncomfortably. “Yeah… It’s uh, basically World War Three out there, so, um… Shit, I’m sorry.” His face fell. “I know this is fucking everything up, but it might be better if you go back home. I don’t think you’re gonna wanna be here for whatever’s going down…”

“Yeah, it’s okay.” Landon muttered softly in reply. “I get it.”

And just like that, the spell was broken. That perfect euphoria of love and lust seemed to have vanished, just like that.

And Landon knew that his thoughts on the drive back home would be just as upsetting and uncertain as they were before.