by

Emily Jensen is a former BCC permablogger and friend of the blog.

“You have been scheduled to meet with XXXXX XXX for a meeting Tuesday June 18th at 7 p.m. for your ministering interview.”



“Your family has been scheduled to clean the church on Saturday, June 22nd at 8 a.m. Please meet with the XXXX family up at the church.”



Ok, hopefully this is only happening in my ward, but in case it’s not, let’s talk about the new, and dare I say, rude habit of scheduling people to do things in the church without first asking if they are even available.

First, let’s back up. So there was an amazing churchofjesuschrist.org blog post recently titled “Enough, Already” where a woman describes the very healthy habit (with a shout-out to Brene Brown) of setting boundaries in saying no as not to stretch oneself thin. She concluded “I’m convinced that my Heavenly Father wants me to grow, but He also gives me permission to do it at a pace that won’t induce adult meltdowns. Consider a world where we can feel empowered to say a decisive yes when we can and no when we need to. What a relief. What freedom. Want to meet for lunch and talk about it this week? No? I’m totally okay with that.”



Please go read it.

Ok, now that you’re back, do you see why this practice of not even checking with someone if they are available to do what you are asking is a step backwards from not even feeling like one can say no. There’s enough pressure (sometimes leaning into spiritual abuse, imo) in church settings to not say no that what does it mean that your agency is completely leapfrogged in this matter.

This is practice should be stopped immediately. We have technological tools that allow for signups (in fact our stake has a temple recommend Calendry sign-up page so as to not waste anyone’s time unnecessarily). And we need to use them. Or just go the old fashioned way of doing sign-up sheets. I don’t care. If we can’t get people to sign-up we need to evaulate why, not just steamroll them.