CNBC's Squawk Box likes to think itself as one of the "spicier" time slots on the network. And what with Joe Kernen theatrically grumbling about literally everything and throwing dry drunk uncle shade at Andrew Ross Sorkin while Becky Quick tries to maintain her sanity and allow finance famous guests to plug their ideas, it sometimes feels over-salted...which is success because salt is technically a spice.

But today was different. The Squawkers dove into a discussion on tomorrow's election and the effect it would have on markets, inviting everyone's favorite 80's Wall Street movie villain (and vocal Trump supporter) Larry Kudlow to chat with guests on the topic. One guest who called in was the Crown Prince of Distress, David Tepper, a man who is no stranger to Squawking into the Box.

It had all the makings of a very mediocre segment with Tepper giving straight talk on market dynamics and everyone else pretending not to yell. The man who once propped up the New Jersey economy on his own gave a cogent and undramatic analysis of what the S&P will look like on Wednesday morning under a plethora of scenarios. Kernen bristled, Kudlow nodded, ARS raised an eyebrow. It felt like a solid, normal Monday Squawk.

And then, it happened.

A seemingly innocuous question from ARS about endorsing a candidate led the Pittsburgh-born Tepper to muse for a few moments before going full-Yinzer on The Donald:

“From my analysis, his economic stuff is very difficult and very volatile to figure out. I personally think that you have two people who have judgment issues and such but I gotta tell you this weekend I was listening to the TV and I couldn’t take it anymore. Trump’s wife was on TV and she introduced him as a giving, generous and charitable person - and I gotta tell you something - I do a lot of work in Jersey, for charities, for the food banks, the pantries. Trump has big operations - the casinos, the golf courses - here. I’m on Robin Hood’s board and I gotta tell you, during the financial crisis, during Sandy, not one dime. Not ONE DIME! And I know this first-hand, this is fact, not conjecture, FACT! Not one dime to one food bank, not to one major pantry in Jersey. During Sandy…the big Sandy benefit, the big 9/11 benefit, not one dime. Not ONE DIME! You can't tell me this is a charitable, generous person. When you live in these places, and you’re living with these people here, and you’re supposedly a multi-billionaire, and not ONE DIME? Not ONE DIME! For people in their greatest hour of need, during Sandy, during 9/11!”

And if Tepper got nervous that ranting against the GOP candidate on national TV might be bad for business at Appaloosa, well, he didn't appear to give ONE SHIT!

“One thing I do in my life, there’s this kind of thing called “The Golden Rule” and it has noting to do with investments…it says “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you” and that’s not being done with Trump, not at least on the good side.”

But David Tepper doesn't keep a pair of literal brass balls on his desk just for show, because when Pittsburgh Dave drops the hammer he drops it all the way down...

“When you lie about that stuff, when you lie about fundamental beliefs - listen - Trump masquerades as an angel of light, but he is the father of lies.”

You know how you know Squawk Box is lit? When everyone literally shuts the fuck up while a hedge fund manager essentially calls a presidential candidate the prince of darkness.

So...what you got lined up for today, Carl Quintanilla?

David Tepper slams Donald Trump for being selfish, calls him 'father of lies' [CNBC]