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WITH the Seanad voting to pass the The Health (Regulation of Termination of Pregnancy) Bill 2018 it is now left to President Michael D. Higgins to sign the bill into law and from January 1st, abortion will be legal in Ireland.

A tragedy of epic proportions, a seemingly unintentional consequence of the repeal of the 8th amendment is that women will now be harder to control, and worse still will perceive themselves to be the equals of men. You read that right; equals of men. We are not making this up.

Initial reports falsely claimed this was the culmination of years of a hard fought human rights campaign, waged by countless ordinary women and men, who wanted to bring an end to the indignity visited upon Irish women denied their healthcare rights.

“It just further perpetuates the falsehood that women’s brains are as capable of making decisions on the same level as men are, be they simple or complex,” confirmed one person, who pined for the times when female civil servants had to pack their jobs in when they got married.

“Honestly, you’ve no idea how tough this makes it for us going forward, how are we going to reign them in?” confirmed a round table of people from a cross section of Ireland who above all else, just don’t trust women one way or another.

According to No Side advocates, who were believed to missing from Irish public life since the referendum in May of this year as they weren’t speaking up about any other issue, women have already begun queuing for abortions which are free after your 10th coffee stamp at participating cafes.

Significant protests have been announced since the vote, including Senator Ronan Mullen who has chained himself to a vat of his pwn sperm and vowed to protect and never let it be aborted.