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ALTHOUGH the annual Kris Kringle draw in a Dublin accountancy office hasn’t taken place yet, office joker Paul Smith has already decided to give a dildo to whoever he gets.

Kris Kringle, sometimes known as Secret Santa, is a joyless chore designed to increase the Christmas shopping load on people, forcing them to needlessly spend ten euro on a co-worker that they secretly hate.

Although most people will simply buy a Lynx set or a bath accessories thing from Boots, many people see Kris Kringle as an opportunity to show off how hilarious they are.

Traditionally, these brilliant minds will present their co-workers with a gift designed to embarrass and provoke a reaction; usually a dildo, although some gas characters will opt for novelty underwear or furry handcuffs, or a book of sex tips which suggests the recipient is hilariously bad at intercourse.

“Whoever I get, I just can’t wait to see their faces when they open the gift and see it’s a dildo!” said Smith, who believes himself to be the absolute life and soul of Henderson And Associates Chartered Accountancy.

“Can you imagine it? Maybe I’ll wrap it so they think they’re getting a bottle of wine or something, and then when they open it; BAM! Dildo! If it’s one of the women that I get, then that’d be funny, but if it’s one of the guys? Forget it. A man, getting a dildo as a Kris Kringle present? I can’t think of anything funnier!”.

The Kris Kringle presentations will happen during the Henderson and Associates Christmas party on the 22nd of December, after which the staff will enjoy two whole weeks without having to endure Smith’s hilarious anecdotes and pranks.