I often get embarrassed by myself when I cry. I think I have to be some bad-ass trooper that has it under control. Sucking it up and dealing with it. Wearing some goofy mask hiding.

The truth is, most of the time I am just a really good faker. I fake it. I fake being strong. Honestly…being chronically ill freaking sucks. But to make it through, I fake it.

Permission to Cry



It was brought up by a fellow blogger that Valentine’s Day was on the way and that we should try to write something about loving ourselves. So, this is my post where I love myself a little and give myself permission to cry, to break down and let it all out. It’s timely because today I cry. I am so much pain that I’m lost.



The deep bone pain is driving me insane and I am crying. I’m so sad for the life I do not have, I’m sad that Emma asked me yesterday to play with her like other moms. To play tag. To run. And I can’t. Sometimes I can for a little bit, but then I pay for it. So I have to plan these moments out.

Thing is, I can not linger in this boohoo crying moment. I can cry and then I have to pull out of it and forgive myself. I didn’t choose this. It’s just who I am and I have to cut myself some slack. It is what it is. My life really isn’t over. It changes constantly, but it is not over. There are plenty of things I can still do. Not everything is gone.

So give yourself permission to cry and not be a bad-ass all of the time. Just know that you are not your illness. You are so much more. Love yourself, love your life and take it one moment at a time.

Image credits in this post go to pixabay.

This #BloggersTalkingAbout series features amazing bloggers writing from the heart. Continue reading more by following these links. Loving Yourself by Joanne | Loving Yourself This Valentine’s Day by Traci | New Routine & New Doctor by Karen | Care For Yourself By Reducing Anxiety & Worry by Karen | Permission To Cry by Brandy | Caring For Myself In My First Trimester by Jenny. If you’re a mom/female blogger, join us in our group, Bodacious Bloggers