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‘Foreign Dirt Is the Only Import He Won’t Put Tariffs on’

In clips released on Thursday from an ABC News interview, President Trump said he would willingly accept foreign intel on opponents in the 2020 election without alerting the F.B.I. The statement drew bipartisan condemnation, fueling calls for legislation requiring candidates to report such offers.

[Imitating Trump] “Sure, I mean a campaign accepting help from a foreign country is against the law, but since when is breaking the law a crime? I mean, do both. Why not do the wrong thing and the right thing? Let’s just kill two birds with one crime.” — STEPHEN COLBERT “Apparently foreign dirt is the only import he won’t put tariffs on.” — TREVOR NOAH [As Trump] “I’ve never called the F.B.I., not even when I fired the F.B.I. director. They had to hear it from CNN.” — STEPHEN COLBERT “He honestly does not seem to know what collusion is. All he knows is he didn’t do it. But he would do it, because why not?” — JIMMY KIMMEL “The guy who has spent two years screaming tweeting, ‘No collusion!’ is now saying ‘If anyone’s down the collude, I’m your guy!’” — SETH MEYERS

During the interview, Trump asked if he should turn down information from the likes of Norway.

[As Trump] “How about I get the dirt from a harmless little country like Norway or Sweden or Finland or just randomly heading east here, Russia? What’s the difference? Norway, Russia — both cold.” — STEPHEN COLBERT [A Trump] “I’d listen to it, whether it’s Norway or Westeros or Wakanda.” — JIMMY FALLON “Right now, you’ve gotta imagine Robert Mueller is just getting home with all his boxes after clearing out his office, turns on the T.V., and he’s like, ‘Damn it, honey, I’m going back to work. I’ll see you in another two years.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

‘Where’s Your Blowhole?’

In a Thursday tweet about his comments on conversations with foreign governments, Trump mentioned he’d recently met with the queen of England and the “Prince of Whales.”