Far be it for The Quad to dictate your social calendar, oh cheapskates, but dare we say that there is no valid justification for sitting at home this week watching “Help I’m a Teen Mom with a Shotgun” on DVR for the sixth time because “there’s nothing else to do.” Just as the BU Bridge is (reportedly) one of only three places in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane, the nimble runner or MBTA savant could fight cancer, beat this week’s 90° highs with frozen treats and make it to the (air-conditioned!) Brattle in time for a Goonies-ET double feature (see Wednesday). A suggestion, nothing more.

Tuesday, June 7

Lactose enthusiasts herald the return of the Jimmy Fund Scooper Bowl to City Hall Plaza this Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from noon to 8 PM. An $8 donation to support the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute gets you an all-you-can-lick ticket (or throw down $15 for a three-day pass) for the likes of Ben & Jerry’s, Baskin-Robbins, Edy’s and western Mass contender SoCo Creamery. Karma is best served cold, after all.

Wednesday, June 8

The Brattle Theater serves up a Goonies-E.T. double feature as part of its Repertory Series. Students get into both for $7.75, not including Reese’s Pieces or Baby Ruth, of course. The Goonies fires up at 4 PM, followed by E.T.: the Extra-Terrestrial at 7 PM.

Thursday, June 9

Improv Boston has a great line-up of improv, sketch and stand-up shows, most of them under 10 bucks for students. IB dusts off the famous Harold improv style (originated at Chicago’s Second City, alma mater to the lik

es of Tina Fey and Stephen Colbert) each Thursday at 8 PM ($7 for students). Stick around the first Thursday of each month for A Night of Oral (Tradition), a series of funny-but-true stories (all fully clothed, unlike last week’s Naked Comedy Showcase) at 10 PM.

The Huntington Theatre Company hosts British all-male Shakespeare troupe Propeller as it premieres Comedy of Errors, which runs until June 19. Students can get same-day rush tickets for $15. Here’s a trailer.

Friday, June 10

The Triple Crown of Yo Yo hits Boston for the East Coast Classic Yo Yo Contest

at Faneuil Hall from noon to 5 PM, continuing Saturday from 10 AM to 4 PM. The freestyle trick competition is open to all ages and doo wop street gangs of all stripes.

The MIT Museum opens for a free night the second Friday of each month. Current exhibitions feature robots, holograms, kinetic sculpture and all manner of tech-heavy curios one expects from our nerdish brethren across the Charles. The museum is near Kendall/MIT on the Red Line, or take the 1 bus from Mass Ave to Albany St.

Cheap laughs abound every Friday at Allston’s Great Scott, where Anderson Comedy hosts The Gas for $5 at 7 PM (18+). This week is headlined by Brett McCabe.

Saturday, June 11

Boston Pride Week wraps up with the Pride Festival and Parade at City Hall from noon to 6 PM. The parade will follow Boylston to Charles Street, cut between the Public Garden and the Common, then follow Beacon and Tremont to Government Center, where over one hundred vendors, food trucks and musical acts will descend for the revelry.

The second annual SomerFun festival is a hodgepodge of dog show, street festival, artisan market and carnival et cetera. Dunk tanks, stage entertainment and more greet those willing to schlep to Union Square from 3 to 7 PM.

Faithful Harvard Square hosts over 30 dance companies on four stages for the Dance for World Community Festival from noon to 10 PM. Professional performances from noon to 7 PM will be followed by street dancing until the end of the festival. Introductory lessons in diverse dance forms will also be available to the public for free.

The Dedham Square Music and Art Festival brings horn-heavy BU favorites Love in Stockholm to the burbs, along with a handful of other bands, artists, vendors and Boston artisans from noon to 7 PM.

The Somerville Theatre and Weekly Dig Boston host the GLOVEBOX Short Film and Animation Festival from 2 to 9 PM. Here’s the schedule, which includes computer and pencil animation, music videos and live-action shorts in a variety of genres. Admission is fully free all day.

The Commonwealth Shakespeare Company (the troupe that stages Shakespeare on the Common come late July) has a free staged reading of “Burn This” by Lanford Wilson as part of its American Voices series. The reading will be held at the Wimberly Theatre on Tremont Street at 8 PM, followed by a wine and cheese reception with the cast and director.

Sunday, June 12

The Somerville Trading Post wants to clear out your closet or pantry… and then fill it right back up again. Gather your best Harry Potter fanfiction and Camp Puxatawney friendship bracelets together to barter for miscellany (the website says anything is fair game, including food) from 2:30 to 4 PM at the Somerville Community Growing Center in Union Square.

The Boston Dragon Boat Festival from noon to 5 PM will include music, dance and martial arts performances along the Cambridge side of the Charles near the Weeks Footbridge, as well as races all day.

In case you’ve somehow exhausted the vintage offerings of SoWa (also on Sundays), Somerville offers its own PortRDavis Vintage Fair from 10 AM to 3 PM in Somerville’s Dilboy VFW Hall near Davis Square. The PortRDavis fair is open twice monthly on the second and fourth Sundays of the month.