Jon Stewart: How to tell if you're a 'real American' David Edwards and Muriel Kane

Published: Tuesday October 21, 2008





Print This Email This Jon Stewart offered some clues on Monday's Daily Show for how to tell whether you belong to the "real America" where McCain supporters are in the majority and the fake America that lies everywhere else.



Stewart began by showing McCain advisor Nancy Pfotenhaurer describing northern Virginia -- the Obama-supporting suburbs around Washington, DC -- as not part of "real Virginia."



"What the pfuck?" asked Stewart in astonishment.



Pfotenhauer went on to list "places in other states," like "northern Wisconsin, the Iron Range of Minnesota ... the rural areas of Missouri."



"So, even if John McCain doesn't win the 'election' in 'America,'" Stewart summarized, "he'll still be president of 'real America' -- the America that matters, the one that Sarah Palin will still take questions from."



Stewart then ran an audio clip of Palin stating, "We believe that the best of America is in the small towns that we get to visit and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call real America, being here with all of you hard-working, very patriotic, very pro-America areas of this great nation."



As the audience first laughed uneasily and then booed, Stewart held his hands to his temples in dismay.



"What the pfuck?" Stewart asked again, as he raised his head. "So if small towns are real America, that would make big cities like Washington, DC and New York City the capitals of fake America ... the Ground Zero, if you will, of anti-America -- I bet bin Laden feels like a real asshole now, huh?"



Stewart then completed the trifecta by showing Rep. Michele Bachman (R-MN) telling Chris Matthews, "I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out are they pro-America or anti-America."



"Right now," Stewart noted, "you're probably thinking to yourself, 'Am I one of these un-Americans I've been hearing so much about?' All this real America and fake America can get a little hard to figure out."



Stewart suggested that viewers might apply a complex formula involving, among other factors, the population of their town multiplied by the number of art house movie theaters and divided by the number of people who wear trucker hats but are not actual truckers.



But since math itself is not the 'real American' way to resolve questions, he offered instead a pop quiz involving favorite clauses of the Bill of Rights (free speech vs. guns), awareness of vegetables, and "are you voting for A, John McCain, or B, the terrorist."



In concluding, however, Stewart revealed that the quiz itself was a trick, because "if you answered any of these questions, that means you're watching the Daily Show -- so you're clearly not a real American."





This video is from Comedy Central's The Daily Show, broadcast October 20, 2008.









Download video via RawReplay.com







