Emily Letts, a counselor at a New Jersey abortion clinic, decided to film her own abortion and post it on YouTube as a form of positive inspiration to women who are contemplating having the procedure but worry that they might feel guilty afterward.

Letts has no such guilt. She recalls the procedure with fondness. She even describes it as “birth-like,” and said it made her feel good, just like giving birth would.

Letts, whose job involves encouraging women to have abortions, sees her own abortion as an entirely positive experience, and hopes the video will prove to be both instructional and morally persuasive. She feels better about herself every time she watches the video, according to Cosmopolitan.

“Still, every time I watch the video, I love it,” she wrote. “I love how positive it is. I think that there are just no positive abortion stories on video for everyone to see. But mine is.”

The disturbing video has been viewed 10,000 times on YouTube. During the three-minute procedure, she repeatedly tells herself how lucky she is. She also hums to herself.

After the abortion is over, she says, “Cool. I feel good.”

Letts writes that having an abortion and giving birth produce similarly happy feelings. Despite aborting her child, she kept the sonogram.

“I remember breathing and humming through it like I was giving birth,” she wrote. “I know that sounds weird, but to me, this was as birth-like as it could be. It will always be a special memory for me. I still have my sonogram, and if my apartment were to catch fire, it would be the first thing I’d grab.”

The response has been overwhelmingly negative. The video was downvoted more than 300 times, and received only 100 likes.

Still, she is hopeful the video will inspire women who have had abortions–or want to have abortions–to let go of their guilt. Letts certainly has none.

She does feel a little bad about getting pregnant in the first place, though.

“I do feel a little irresponsible and embarrassed about not using birth control,” she wrote. “I mean, Emily, wake up! What are you doing? I was going against the advice I give to patients all the time. So I had them put an IUD in after the abortion. I was able to learn and move forward. And I am grateful that I can share my story and inspire other women to stop the guilt.”

ThinkProgress hailed Letts for filming her abortion and putting a positive spin on it.

“For instance, Letts’ story helps demonstrate the fact that abortion isn’t a barbaric procedure that needs additional regulation in order to make it safer,” wrote ThinkProgress.

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