Well, I knew that this day would come. I hadn’t quite admitted it to myself, but one part of my soul knew that I’d do it. I have burned my uniform.

I hiked up to Shgarya’s camp this morning. They knew I was in the area – doubtless they knew precisely where I had camped – and I was greeted with no less than the usual suspicion. Shgarya himself was occupied in the training of some craft to the younger scouts, and so I shared a kettle of the local tea with some of his troops. They were companionable enough despite their suspicion, and made efforts to include me in their discussion of game, weather, and camp gossip.

When Shgarya at length finished his teachings, he received me at that same campfire. No longer does he call me ‘friend’ – there cannot be any Hoitan chief who thus addresses an Abheski Company-man, not anymore.

Curious – I still describe myself as a Company-man. Perhaps at that point I still was. What am I now? I suppose I must find out.

He did not call me friend, but he listened easily as I told him of my orders and my decision to renounce them, and my disgust at what had taken place in the West. He must have known the intent with which I had been sent to Hoitan – how could he not? – and he cordially accepted my expression of shame and regret. His composure changed not at all until I stepped aside, began to remove my uniofrm, and cast it into the fire.

The Hoitan have a stronger taboo against the naked form than we, and I hoped by this act of debasement to press the sincerity of my intent. I have no more loyalty to the Company or to the Spires, and I put myself at the mercy of Shgarya.

After what felt like an hour of consideration, Shgarya spoke to a lieutenant in low tones, too low for me to hear. She rushed off and shortly returned with a suit of clothes – an old tunic, boots, and cloak, ready to be discarded. They were handed to me and I dressed as Shgarya commended my bravery and honesty. He retrieved my tool belt from the ground and fixed it around my waist.

“You are a man of no nation and no loyalty. Do not seek out our camps, and we will not harm you. We will speak again at a time of my choosing.” These were the last words he spoke to me.

And so I am adrift – free from the terrible duties assigned to me, and yet alone in this strange land. I have spent half my career trying to win the trust of these people. In rejecting the nation of my birth I have lost both worlds, but I have not lost my desire to be among the Hoitan.

I shall break camp tomorrow and hike north – the hunting is rich there and Shgarya will find me if he wants.

Levint te Allren, no longer Temar Company Scout