Threesomes are every single guy’s biggest sexual fantasy. OK, so that might not be 100 percent accurate, but it can’t be too far off. After all, the thought of having two girls not only agreeing to one with you, but then actually wanting you, literally fighting for your attention during it is something that most guys only see in a good porno flick.

That said, the reason threesomes are so difficult to get girls to agree to is because they’re really delicate events. Rarely will a guy just find two willing girls to want to take part, leaving us dudes hoping we have a girlfriend who might be open to the idea. Unfortunately, that’s rarely the case.

In some instances, sure, girls are into sharing her boyfriend, but it’s the exception more than the rule. The good news? If you have a feeling your girl might be into the whole threesome thing, we’ve got some tips on how to broach the topic without causing a huge fight — and maybe even have her agree to doing one.

Do some recon work

Yep, this means doing some research. Like a big test, you wouldn’t go into something unprepared and uneducated, right? For that reason, make sure you’ve got a few things that supports why a threesome can be fun — and reinforce to your girlfriend that it’s to strengthen your relationship, not because you want to fuck another girl. According to a study in the Journal of Sexual Archives, 82 percent of guys and 31 percent of girls were interested in a threesome, but only 24 percent of men and only eight percent of ladies admitted to actually already having one. These are things you should know to set realities before talking to her.

Be honest

Ask yourself (and answer) this simple question: Why do you want to have a threesome? If it’s because the sex with your girlfriend sucks and you find yourself more attached to your phone and looking at porn, we don’t recommend bringing up the idea to your girl. However, if it’s because you think it’d be a great experience for both you and your girlfriend, where you can have sex and do things with a third girl to bring the two of you closer, then go for it. Maybe it’s just as simple as living out a fantasy for a birthday or something. Either way, make sure you know why it sounds like fun and stand by that.

Talk expectations

Assuming your girlfriend doesn’t just storm out of the room at the first mention of a threesome, you’ve already passed the first test — she’s intrigued. If that’s the case, ease her mind and don’t talk too much about selling the idea, but, instead, ask a few questions about why she might be into it and what concerns she might have. Showing her you’re concerned with her opinions will only help make this a reality, and can have the two of you communicate about next steps. At some point, set expectations about how it might go down, who might be the lucky third person and what types of things will be going on when having the threesome.

If she looks uncomfortable, stop asking

You don’t need some special superhero powers to tell when you’re girlfriend looks uncomfortable, and, when you bring up a threesome, you should expect her to be a bit caught off-guard. Even if she’s brought it up to you before — whether in jest or partially serious — approach the topic sensitively. If, at any point, your girlfriend just seems like she’s about to storm off or has that look of insecurity that you’re craving another girl, ease her mind and avoid a big fight by reinforcing your love for her, then do something sweet for her to show her. At this point, you should drop the topic unless she ever brings it up again down the line.