own1n asked: Are cancers and Aires compatible? Are cancers and Aires compatible?

Answer: Cancers and Aires go together like socialism and silly hats. Some say that the night is darkest before the dawn, I say that the dawn is dim but the evening is dimmer. I also say “window sill” and “fervent” sometimes.

eleventwentytwooo asked: Are Sagittarius and Leo a good relationship match? Are Sagittarius and Leo a good relationship match?

Answer: I speak on behalf of all those who delve into the tepid, milky goodness of the stars’ wisdom when I tell you that a Sagittarius and Leo should generally stay as far away from one another as possible. Before embarking upon a journey through the rough, open seas of relationship- taught with stingy salt and assorted viscera- one must ask oneself: “did I bring enough chutney to last me the journey?” The answer, of course, must be sought for internally, as you are the champion of your own chutney. -Michelangelo, Seer of Truths

Anonymous asked: pls post pls post

Answer: Has it been 6 months? Sorry I was just taking a shit, it took much longer than expected. Suffice to say I won’t be eating steamed echidna feet anytime soon.

Anonymous asked: ARe the virgo lady and aquarius man compatible ARe the virgo lady and aquarius man compatible

Answer: Does the order in which you present a platter of various fine cheeses to your ethnically diverse house-guests reflect any racist predispositions deep within your subconscious? Maybe. -Michelangelo, Seer of Truths

Anonymous asked: are aquarius and virgo compatible are aquarius and virgo compatible

Answer: If only it were that simple, dear friend. The stars work in mysterious ways- sometimes I wake up with rashes all over my body. I tried changing my bed sheets to no avail, so maybe they’re from bug bites or something? It sort of looks like it’s an allergic reaction but I don’t think I’m allergic to anything. -Michelangelo, Seer of Truths

stephenmgentry asked: Why don't you know what day it is? Why don't you know what day it is?

Answer: