When I hear Tony Abbott say that the Safe Schools program is not an anti-bullying program, I am astounded. When I hear him say it’s “social engineering” I am incredulous. When I hear him say the funding for it should be terminated, I am so dismayed.

I was one of the authors of the program and I know exactly what it is. I also know how vital it is to the lives of young LGBTI students; if it had been around when I was at school it would have changed my life.

Three years ago when I was undertaking my teacher training I was approached to work on a new project. Teachers and principals were constantly asking the Safe Schools Coalition Victoria for a resource that would help them combat homophobia and support LGBTI kids in their schools. All the existing resources were old and out of date and most told stories that were bleak. They needed an anti-bullying program – yes, an anti-bullying program – that stopped what they felt they were currently unable to do.

The resource’s front page clearly states that All of Us is a “health and physical education resource for understanding gender diversity, sexual diversity and intersex topics for Years 7 and 8 and the program aims are explicit.

Increase respect and inclusion of LGBTI people by challenging stereotypes and increasing empathy through exploring relatable real life stories.

Reduce homophobic and transphobic behavior and discrimination in schools and the wider community by increasing understanding of the impact of the behaviour and discrimination on people’s health and wellbeing.

Provide practical strategies and skills to enable students to create a school environment that recognises and celebrates the diversity of each person’s unique sexuality, gender identity or intersex status.

What reasonably-minded person would not want to see those aims being met in schools around Australia? Surely we want to see the statistics of youth LGBTI self-harm and suicide fall. Tony Abbott, like the Australian Christian Lobby’s Lyle Shelton, is misinformed, and I’m certain that neither of them have actually read the resource. Nor are they aware of the impact of what they are trying to take away.

I started working on All of Us with a group of young people who could tell honest, real stories. We worked in consultation with educational experts and drew on international best practice. Three hundred and sixty academics signed an open letter to the prime minister supporting the project, and two of the biggest mental health organisations in Australia, Beyond Blue and Headspace, also voiced their support.

Schools signed up for the program voluntarily and to date close to 500 schools nationally have joined. Only one of those has pulled out.

So I ask you: What if 80% of the racist abuse that non-white Australians experienced occurred in schools? What if people living with a disability had rates of suicide six times the rate of their peers? We would design educational programs to change that. We would work day and night to raise levels of respect and understanding. And we would rightly be criticised if, as educators, we failed to do so.

Why is it any different when it comes to combating homophobia and transphobia, and to reducing LGBTI youth suicide? Why would anyone oppose the Safe Schools Coalition or All of Us unless their objection is actually an objection to the existence of LGBTI people?

My own high school experience was one of privilege. I attended a private school where being a white, sporty male made things easy. I had social capital – as long as I fitted the mould – so I lived a lie. The idea that somebody might be gay was so repulsive to my circle of friends, my rowing crew, that I dumped any same-sex attracted thoughts at the bottom of my locker and left them there. I hooked up with girls and was terribly uncomfortable whenever conversations turned to dating. I immersed myself in school and sport thinking that success there would lead to freedom – which it did for short periods of time.

The reality is that I didn’t know any gay people. I had no reference for what it meant to be gay other than occasional glimpses on TV or in movies where gay men were effeminate, unhappy, ridiculed, morally corrupt, or just plain wrong. I felt like the only sporty, gay guy in the world and I had these intense feelings of not belonging. I was working so hard to be the boy who could fit in, but inside I was miserable.

Author Chris Bush

I remember a few days after getting my driver’s licence discovering that I could scream my lungs out in frustration and sadness in the car and no one could hear me. I could cry as much as I liked and no one would ask me to explain why.

I had fleeting moments of self-harm and thoughts of suicide.

Do all LGBTI young people search for alternatives to telling their family? To coming out? I don’t know, but I certainly did, even with an incredibly loving family – parents who were present, engaged and supportive, and the best siblings I could hope for.

But if you are told enough times – explicitly and implicitly – that you don’t belong, that you don’t exist, and you are starved of the opportunity to see other people just like you, it can lead to despair. It’s not seeing yourself anywhere. It’s the lack of role models. It’s society’s refusal to acknowledge that you exist. And it’s this silence that groups like the Australian Christian Lobby want to maintain.

I was a wealthy, white kid – the school prefect, the rowing captain, the national champion – and I felt this way. I can’t begin to imagine what it’s like for someone who was not as lucky as me. The kid from the country? The girl from the religious family? The son carrying huge cultural expectations?

A few months ago, I deleted my Facebook account so I don’t see the online comments about this issue, but I do see the published articles. I shake my head. How is it that in 2016 we are still giving this vitriol a voice? Why do we give the ACL a platform to spread such misinformation?

I’m not worried about the future of the Safe Schools Coalition or All Of Us; its aims are sound and its educational relevance proven. It’s mapped to the Australian curriculum and we have empirical evidence to say that it’s needed and that it works.

I’m an expert in teaching these topics. I know this resource works. I know it is needed. I know it makes a difference to the lives of many young people and will do so for many years to come. So I really don’t care what the critics say about all this, but, sadly, it’s not that easy.

We need people to speak up. The overwhelming majority of Australians support the aims of the Safe School’s Coalition and want to see the program continue. If we don’t call out this hate for what it is, we fail to use the gift of our education, our enlightened thought, our respect, understanding and tolerance that’s the hallmark of an inclusive Australia. It’s this that I worry we are losing.

All of Us would have changed my life. I don’t want another kid who feels totally alone in the world hurting themselves or killing themselves because they think they are different or wrong. I don’t want a single young person to have the adolescence I had. All of Us can ensure they don’t.