Preface The self is one that should be broken down in order to understand its flaws. The self is damaged and guilt ridden from the constant judgement of the voice screaming “you’re a failure”, “you’re fat” etc. These are just the notes from a self that is trying to rationally assess the voice in an effort to release the self from constant pain caused by the voice.

Part 1

Behold I. and therein lies a constant nagging in my head, a voice screaming “you’re a failure”, “you’re fat” et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, continuously reminding me how trash I am. Then follows a stream of thoughts, a rundown of what I’ve done with my life validating the voice. But is that which is contained in the I (self) a possession of the self or is it merely the self in a different dimension, a rational external judgement based on the environment? If the former, then I want to release it from my possession, but an escape from the voice is impossible. If the latter, if the voice is truly a rational judge whose judgment is based on the external environment, then I must be devoted to improving the self to make the voice content with my doings. And therein lies my answer, an answer that requires me to incarcerate my beloved. Maybe even, the death of my beloved. A death of the beloved is the death of the desires of the self, which may also cause the death of the self but a release from the voice.