President Obama's mention of gun control in his State of the Union speech was so short that I actually missed it. I had to go back and read what he said:

Citizenship means standing up for the lives that gun violence steals from us each day. I have seen the courage of parents, students, pastors, and police officers all over this country who say 'we are not afraid,' and I intend to keep trying, with or without Congress, to help stop more tragedies from visiting innocent Americans in our movie theaters, shopping malls, or schools like Sandy Hook.

He didn't have to say anything this year, but he did. My son Deno, my 18-year-old son, was shot and killed in 2010. No mother, no parent should ever have to go through that. I am grateful that our president continues to raise awareness – however small – about this epidemic.

Congress has to do something. This year Obama didn't personally mention the names of lawmakers who are holding the process back – or of the victims of recent tragedies. But in my mind, if you say one name – whether from Chicago or Newtown or anywhere else – you've said it all. We are all one in this grief.

Something has to be done about making universal background checks the law of the land. I'm not trying to take away someone's gun rights, but we have to do something. In Chicago, where I live, someone is shot daily. I can see it in the statistics and every time I log onto Facebook. I see another mother, another father cying out over their loss.

This shouldn't be how things are. As I write this, I think of Hadiya Pendleton, a smart and lovely 15-year-old who was gunned down blocks away from Obama's Chicago home. She died on 29 January 2013. I tried to think of the words to text her mother and father this year. How do you keep hopeful?

We're here in Chicago trying to encourage each other, but it feels like no one in America really wants to deal with this issue. I didn't want this life. I didn't want to get calls from the media. I never intended to become a champion for gun control, but someone has to do it.

If we don't speak out, who's child will be next? Who will be the next parent mourning for their Deno or Hadiya? I felt so guilty living after burying my child. Your children are supposed to bury you, not the other way around.

My Faith in God has kept me going, and keeps me from giving up. I hope the president doesn't give up on this. I hope it doesn't take many more families and neighborhoods being affected similarly to my tragedy before Congress acts.

Do I wish the president had said more Tuesday night? Yes, I do. But I have to find something good out of it. What he said was a start.