The most highly anticipated and respected column in the MLR is here once again. Here is the analysis I have for you this week: And yes, the Phillies are moving up, for those of you who can’t seem to stop complaining about that. Maybe in exchange, you all can give Arizona some of the respect they deserve as well. Anyway, let’s get into it.

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12. New York Mets (0-4), Loss to PIT 4-1

Well, the bottom 4 will remain unchanged until any of these teams give me a reason to move them. At this point there is a very clear bottom third of the league and I see no reason to move these teams around just yet, especially not moving the Mets out of last for the 4th straight week. Another session, another loss for this sorry squad. I do believe that time will favor the Twins in the Streaker/Quin trade, and the lineup continues to disappoint. Two promising Mets debuts from Bo-Horse Jackman and James Maso could help the other 3 Mets producers, Xavier Crowbar, Mongster Mash, and Pip Squires, to shore up the offense some more, but the pitching has to settle down and the run support has to make itself apparent if this team wants to win games.

Last Week: 12th (+/- 0), This Week: vs DET

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11. Baltimore Orioles (0-4), Loss to WSH 2-1

There’s no denying that despite the loss, this was an encouraging loss for the O’s, as they put up a fight against the best team in the league until the very last inning, which no other team had even really come close to doing up to this point. Rob Pancakes had a strong outing on the mound, which I’m sure the team was happy to see. That being said, a loss is still a loss, and the offense minus Randy Nummer was once again completely absent, stymied to only a couple hits by Hudson Hildebrandt. Nummer is putting up top 5 in the league-level numbers, but with nobody else in the lineup producing, this team can’t win. Solo home runs will only get you so far. Get back to me when this team has at least 3 players hitting .250.

Last Week: 11th (+/- 0), This Week: vs TOR

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10. Minnesota Twins (0-4), Loss to OAK 3-2

The Orioles comported themselves well in their loss, but so did the Twins, who got a promising outing from Hudson Quin, despite the fact that it was cut to only 3.1 innings by manager SemiCharmedMike. They staged a dramatic 6th-inning rally against the A’s that fell just short, but it was a dramatic rally against a good team nonetheless. It seems like the Minnesota bats may finally be stirring, which is what it’s going to take for this team to break out of their rut, as they still bring up the rear of the league offensively with a .198/.261/.309 team slash, which is inspiring no confidence at all. Here’s hoping that Quin can stay strong and the bats can come out of their early-season slump.

Last Week: 10th (+/- 0), This Week: vs ARI

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9. Toronto Blue Jays (1-3), Loss to ARI 3-1

The Blue Jays have so far been thoroughly mediocre, posting acceptable but not good numbers both offensively and from the pitcher S.A.R. Dinka, who I expected more from personally. The Diamondbacks knocked 3 solo homers off of Dinka in one inning in Session 4, and the offense simply wasn’t there to back him up with any significant run protection. Graham Grams has been a solid bat, as has Tom Berry and Dinka himself, but the rest of the lineup has been flat, and without the bats to back up Dinka’s somewhat erratic performance, this team will continue to struggle.

Last Week: 9th (+/- 0), @ BAL

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8. Houston Astros (2-2), Loss to ATL 4-3

The Astros started the year at the bottom of this list, proceeded to win two straight, and work their way into the top half of the league. Then they proceeded to drop their next two behind uninspiring performances from their promising pitching duo of Willoughby Hoose and Whitt Bass. Before I can take this team more seriously as a legitimate contender, I also need to see more dynamics from their offense. Jimbo Fishy and Jay Money have been decent contributors, but Buck Cheeks has been the man that makes the engine go out in center field, and so far seems to be the only reliable RBI threat in the lineup. I’ll need to see more contributions from more players to move this team up further.

Last Week: 6th (-2), This Week: @ PIT

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7. Pittsburgh Pirates (3-1), Win over NYM 4-1

The Pirates gain a spot following a solid win, but a solid win doesn’t mean a whole lot when it comes against the hapless New York Mets. There isn’t a ton to say this week about the Pirates that wasn’t already said last session. Johnny Hopkins and Jameson Poe are still the guys that run the offense, and Darth Vader still looks like a solid ace to lead the pitching staff. The depth did improve, however, with the addition of free agent CF Ricky Steele, who could take the spot of the now-retired Francis Falcs as the Buccos’ everyday CF and leadoff man, a key piece that they’ve been missing for a bit now.

Last Week: 8th (+1), This Week: vs HOU

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6. Oakland Athletics (3-1), Win over MIN 3-2

The A’s took a gem of a game into the 6th inning against Minnesota, and it almost all fell apart as the Twins came storming back and brought the winning run to the plate at the end of the game. A scare like that against a poor-playing team is the reason that the Athletics are taking a dive in this week’s rankings despite having won this week: The 2-5 teams are all very very closely grouped at this point in time, and I have to nitpick. Sal Shark has looked good, but also shaky, and it seems like teams have been figuring him out a bit in games as of late. The Oakland offense is also starting to slip into one-dimensionality. Caleb VanVacter is a beast, but only Rick Gymnast seems to be producing other than him, and the A’s are going to need more from everyone to continue to rack up W’s to advance further in a suddenly contested American League.

Last Week: 3rd (-3), This Week: vs ATL

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5. Arizona Diamondbacks (2-2), Win over TOR 3-1

Those of you who read my columns know that I am a fan of the Arizona offensive attack, which proved itself yet again this week against S.A.R. Dinka of Toronto, as three different men launched solo home runs in one inning to lead the Snakes to a second straight victory. Another very promising sign for Arizona is the emergence of their new starting pitcher Einhorn, who has now put together two very nice starts in Arizona’s two wins after a rough start to the year in which they couldn’t quite put their pitching staff together. Things are falling into place for Arizona, but I still knock them down a spot with a win this week. Why? Well, they do still have two L’s on their record, and the four teams above them I think have more than earned their spots in the top 4.

Last Week: 4th (-1), This Week: @ MIN

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4. Detroit Tigers (3-1), Loss to PHI 2-1

Detroit’s bats went out with a whimper this week against the Phillies, wasting a very solid outing from their ace Big Tuna and handing the team their first loss of the season. I am still a believer in this team, and I think their offense and pitching are both legit, but the fact remains that this team’s 3 wins have come against 3 teams who are a combined 0-12. It’s not an inspiring fact, and now that they’ve faced a quality team for the first time and withered in the face of the challenge, I have to temper my expectations until they give me a reason to move them back up.

Last Week: 2nd (-2), This Week: @ NYM

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3. Philadelphia Phillies (3-1), Win over DET 2-1

You slay an undefeated giant, you take a leap up the rankings. The Phillies impressed against Detroit, managing to eke out two runs against Big Tuna, and their pitcher Oliver Yu made sure that’s all they would need, silencing the Tigers’ bats beyond the first inning and holding them to just a single run. The two pitchers Philly wields and their now-coalescing lineup should give the league pause, and they are very nicely poised to make another run at the league’s other undefeated, and now the last one standing, the Washington Nationals. It’ll be a stiff challenge, but after taking down Detroit, Philly might be ready for it. Stay tuned.

Last Week: 7th (+4), This Week: @ WSH

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2. Atlanta Braves (3-1), Win over HOU 4-3

The Braves are making a habit of pulling out victories over solid opponents, and the rest of the league should take notes. Their one loss was handed to them by the vicious attack of the multi-week #1 Washington Nationals, and their others have come against teams that aren’t exactly slouching, staging a dramatic comeback this week to take down the Astros after falling behind late. Cal Tiberius Jr. looks strong, and the power bats in the Atlanta lineup should be concerning to any team that hopes to escape a game unscathed. This team can shut you down and beat you up, watch out when they come to town. They’ll get another shot at another contender this week in Oakland to prove their mettle.

Last Week: 5th (+3), This Week: @ OAK

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1. Washington Nationals (4-0), Win over BAL 2-1

The Nationals got themselves a scare this week against the Orioles, falling behind early but rallying back behind another strong outing by Hudson Hildebrandt to earn themselves their fourth win and stave off their first loss for another week. The offense is still tops in the league, the pitching is playing similarly, and the team hasn’t lost. Don’t expect to see this squad knocked off of #1 just yet. They’ll get a test in their home opener this week as the giant-slaying Phillies come to town fresh off a takedown of Detroit.

Last Week: 1st (+/- 0), This Week: vs PHI

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You can’t rush greatness. Session 5 is underway so get to those games and cheer on your favorite players. Follow me on Twitter, @ryokanemaru, for more updates and news as the season rolls on. Until next time, stay tuned for more updates from Osaka.