Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Alonzo and Paula each have two. Adam has three.

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Paula has elected to go second. That means, Alonzo, you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in that blank. This week, the IOC banned the entire team from blank from participating in the Paralympic Games.

ALONZO BODDEN: Russia.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, a federal judge upheld the 14-year sentence of former Illinois governor blank.

BODDEN: Oh, what was that guy's name?

SAGAL: We cannot forget.

BODDEN: It was something like Balagovich (ph) or...

SAGAL: That's good enough. Blagojevich.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a train in Iowa derailed and crashed into blank.

BODDEN: In Iowa? It'd have to be corn, wouldn't it?

SAGAL: No, it - the train derailed and crashed into a bar called Derailed. Following - they were asking for it. Following a computer error, blank was forced to cancel over 2,000 flights across the country.

BODDEN: Delta.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Friday, 14-time all-star blank played his last game for the New York Yankees.

BODDEN: A-Rod.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, customs officials in China caught a man attempting to sneak his pet turtle onto a plane by disguising it as a blank.

BODDEN: Child?

SAGAL: No, as a hamburger.

(LAUGHTER)

ADAM FELBER: I think that's pretty clever.

SAGAL: According to the official report, customs officials knew that something was up when they x-rayed the man's KFC bag and noticed some odd protrusion sticking out of his hamburger. When they asked to inspect his luggage, the man said, and this is what he actually said, it is a quote, "there's no turtle in there, just a hamburger. There's nothing special to see inside."

FELBER: Wow.

SAGAL: Well, the man...

FELBER: I think the execution might not have been as good as the plan.

SAGAL: It's true. Bill, how did how did Alonzo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, Alonzo got four right, eight more points, 10 total, and he's in the lead.

SAGAL: All right, Paula, you are up next.

(APPLAUSE)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: (Cheering).

SAGAL: Fill in the blank, Paula. This week, Hillary Clinton called on Congress to approve emergency funding to fight blank.

POUNDSTONE: Zika.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a scathing report from the Justice Department was released on Wednesday, six police officials in blank were fired.

POUNDSTONE: Baltimore.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Federal Government affirmed its prohibition on using blank for medical purposes.

POUNDSTONE: Pot.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Toronto arrested a man for both public intoxication and an outstanding warrant after he blanked.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, oh, oh, oh, I don't know.

SAGAL: Confused a cop car for a taxi and climbed into the backseat.

POUNDSTONE: I knew that.

SAGAL: During the first round of matches on Sunday, the blank sisters were knocked out of the doubles tennis competition.

POUNDSTONE: Williams.

SAGAL: Right, Williams.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, department store chain blank announced it was closing down 15 percent of its nationwide stores.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, I have no idea. Maybe Macy's?

SAGAL: Yes, Macy's.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Wisconsin man who posted a Craigslist ad searching for his lost prosthetic leg had his prayers answered after it was recovered from blank.

POUNDSTONE: The water in Brazil.

SAGAL: No, from a beaver dam.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to the ad, Mark Warner lost his prosthetic limb when his boat tipped over during a fishing trip. He was sure it was gone for good. But several weeks later, two canoers called to say they had found the leg three miles away, sticking out of a beaver dam. Mark and his...

FELBER: Beavers are like sharks. They don't want to work that hard if they don't have to.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: They see the boat go by. They're like let's tip that thing and take the leg.

SAGAL: So it was great. So Mark got his leg back. The canoers got a reward. It was great for everybody but the beaver who was caught in a lie when he told his friends he'd ripped a guy's leg off to build his dam.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She got five right. That means she has 10 more points, and she has the lead with 12.

SAGAL: All right.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, lordy (ph).

SAGAL: So how many, then, does Adam need to win?

KURTIS: Adam needs five to win.

SAGAL: Here we go. This is for the game, Adam. Fill in the blank. This week, the watchdog group Judicial Watch released 165 additional pages of blank's emails.

FELBER: Hillary's.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, a Virginia man was arrested for attempting to scale blank.

FELBER: Trump Tower.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, pro-government militias in Libya retook the city of Sirte from blank.

FELBER: ISIS.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For the second time in as many months, a British wildlife hospital cared for a seagull that had blanked.

FELBER: Flown into the wildlife hospital.

SAGAL: No, turned orange after falling into a vat of curry.

FELBER: Oh, that'll happen.

SAGAL: On Thursday, the gold medal in the women's gymnastics all-around went to American blank.

FELBER: Simone Biles.

SAGAL: That's her name.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, blank announced she was stepping down as editor-in-chief of The Huffington Post.

FELBER: Arianna Huffington.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, a man named Enzo Lefort made the news when he dropped his cellphone while blanking.

FELBER: Swimming the 400-meter backstroke.

SAGAL: You're so close. He was actually fencing in the Rio Olympics.

FELBER: Oh.

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

SAGAL: Yeah. He was halfway through a fencing match on Sunday when he tried to avoid an attack. He caused his cellphone to fall out of the pocket of his uniform and skitter away. It was just like when you accidentally drop your phone into the toilet, except this is the floor of the Rio Olympics, so it's much more disgusting.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: What call...

SAGAL: Yeah, I know.

BODDEN: What call is that important that you're fencing for a gold medal and you're like, I better keep my phone with me?

SAGAL: Yeah, I know. It's like, oh, excuse me, I got call. Hello? Yeah, no, nothing, just (imitating sound of fencing).

FELBER: You know, Alonzo, I got to say, these are fencers. It was probably for a job interview.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Adam do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He got five right. He needed five, 10 more points, 13 and the winner this week.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

FELBER: Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

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