Boys In Our Midst

No matter how much we want to pretend that princesses can be a perfectly serviceable entertainment option for either gender, the reality is that our vast, VAST majority of clients are little girls. Yes, boys can like princesses and it’s OK to do so. Yes, we have, on very rare occasions, booked for boys. Yes, we’re actually doing a charity visit next month to an ailing boy who is ten and really wants to meet Queen Elsa. But the lion’s share of our target audience at parties is made up of little girls.

But because little brothers, cousins, neighbor boys and other various young chaps get invited to these parties as well, we still have to find a way to connect with them. This is a real hit or miss area for princesses…on the one hand, it depends entirely on the child and whether he is willing to talk to you, or whether he thinks you’re a cootie factory. And on the other hand, your ability to entertain children, outside of being a princess, comes into play. Little boys don’t melt for the princess voice or the pretty singing. They’re rarely impressed with your ballgown. They don’t care that your shoes are sparkly. And they’re not big big BIG fans of your movies. Some princesses just give up on trying to entertain the boys and focus on the girls at the party exclusively, because it’s so tricky.

There’s almost always one boy at a party gaggle of girls, and he hovers around the perimeter of the entertainment, patiently waiting for cake and pizza, not giving the princess more than very mild attention. But if you can entertain the sole boy at the party, as well as the dozen or so adoring little girls, it’s in awesome accomplishment. If you can get the goodwill of the birthday girl’s older brother, that’s money in the bank (often literally in the form of a bigger tip). Parents are WAY impressed if you can get the boy to like you too, because they just aren’t expecting it. It’s practically an achievement, unlockable only on Nightmare Mode.

Is it hard to do? Again, depends on both the kid and you. Some princesses are good at it. Some luck out and the little boy has a goofy shy crush on the princess and will happily play the party games. Some princesses fall back on trying to charm with regular princess powers to bridge the gap, which rarely works. The little boys are the first ones to claim you aren’t the real so-and-so, or to try and make fun of you in order to get a reaction. If you don’t learn how to control and connect with them, they have the potential to actually hurt the party atmosphere and ruin it for the birthday girl.

I’m really lucky, in that I have a lot of experience talking to little boys and I find it comes naturally. My 8 yr old neighbor kid Liam is a total scream (he’s the kid who made the cardboard spaceship, dubbed the USS We Will Rock You) and we get along great. I’ll admit I often practice talking to him in order to use that on my job. You have to modulate away from the dainty princess voice and get a little more normal-sounding when you address the boys, and you have to find a common interest.

I mention this because I had a recent party that contained not one, but THREE older boys. When I entered the party, they were already there in costume, and they looked pretty dead-set on finding the princess dumb and silly. The minute I saw the first boy come to the door with a cardboard tube stuck down the back of his shirt and a purple bandanna pushed up on his forehead, I knew the score. I’m not dumb, I’ve been eight years old before. I was running around an army base in Germany with a cardboard tube stuck down the back of MY shirt twenty years before this kid was born, back when the very first ninja turtles cartoon series was on the air.

“Well hello, Donatello!” I trilled at him, at which he was a bit taken aback.

The boys were dressed as three of the ninja turtles, with toy weapons and colored masks. Boys often dress up for the party if their sister is dressing up, usually as superheroes or pirates (or in one case, a plush alligator). These boys were the older set, maybe 8 or 9, which is a pretty steep challenge for a princess. But they didn’t know about my secret weapon.

I watch a lot of cartoons, because I just like them (and because I love the different art styles and direction, which I think influences my own art….buuuut mostly cuz I’m a giant kid). I’ve used my knowledge of popular shows before to win over difficult kids at parties (you’d be surprised how much of an ice-breaker My Little Pony is), because it’s something we can both talk about and have in common. And what these boys did not know is that I am the world’s biggest ninja turtles fan.

Just as the boy dressed as Donnie regained his composure and was winding up to start telling me I wasn’t a real princess, I bent down on one knee and said, “Oh my, I didn’t know the ninja turtles would be here today! I’m a big fan of yours!" I held out my hand for a dainty princess fist bump. The kid held his hand out, sort of mystified. I bumped his fist and whispered:

Just that one-word catch phrase from the new 2012 TMNT cartoon was enough. Inside of a minute, all three boys were eagerly doing parkour and ninja moves off the couch and walls and saying, "Elsa! Elsa, watch! Watch me!!" They played the princess guessing games, the wishing game, anything else we wanted to do. They sat next to me at cake time and tricked off chairs and performed 9 yr old feats of strength to impress the princess.

When we had a sing-a-long game, I asked everyone who it was that sang "A Dream is A Wish” and the little boy in the purple mask said, “OOOH OOH I know, Cinderella!”

“Wow, you’re so smart, how’d you guess that so fast?” I asked.

“Because Donnie’s the smart one,” he answered proudly, pointing to his mask. I am still smiling at the thought of this kid, because he was so funny, and because Donnie has always been my favorite for the very same reason. It’s a surreal feeling when you realize that both you and a little boy you just met played the very same game, in the very same way, in both a little suburb of Philadelphia and on an army base in Europe, two decades apart. It really does show that who we were as kids is no different from the kids of today, and if we can just think back and see things the way they do, we can make a connection with them.

If you can find some common ground with boys and win their goodwill, you will unlock extra-special levels of achievement in your princess career. Not to mention make the party more fun for everyone and secure a little extra something in your tip at the end.

So I guess what I’m saying is watch more cartoons.

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