Hi all,





We have another treat for you today!

We’ve asked US porn star, Ms. Kimber Haven, to answer some questions on trans dating, and her experiences of dating as a porn star.

Enjoy! :)





Hi, thanks for agreeing to this Q&A.





Kimber: It’s my pleasure Hon. Thank you for taking an interest.









Can we ask how you got into porn?





Kimber: The easiest and simplest answer would be boredom. I had retired from my mainstream career and did well enough for myself that I didn’t have to work. After 6 months at home, I became restless and felt I no longer had a purpose. I need something that makes me get out of bed in the morning or I won’t. I started camming and did well and became popular in the cam circuit. I was soon discovered by legendary TS porn star, Wendy Williams. She took me under her wing and helped get me started in the industry.

What does your typical work day look like?





I wake up, have my cappuccino (I’m spoiled and have a barista machine) then start going through my online messages and emails. I tend to receive 300-400 messages a day so I spend my first 2-3 hours when I first wake up answering them. I respond to everyone who takes time out of their day to write me. After that, I begin to edit videos because I own a production company that produces quite a bit of content. I spend 3 to 6 hours editing content so that its ready to be released. Then, I do a cam show for my fans followed by whatever my publicist Erika Icon has put on my to-do list. I typically work 10 to 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, and take 1 day off a month. I basically have 5 jobs; porn star, producer, radio show host, exotic dancer, and cam model. Then sprinkle in my other endeavours like stand-up comedy, producing comedy themed YouTube videos, or spending time writing scripts and my day is rather busy.





We’re a blog dedicated to trans dating and men who are attracted to trans women. Has being a porn actress affected your dating life for good or bad?





I’ve always been a sex addict, even before I was in porn. I was unknown and would get on all the dating sites, like Adult Friend Finder, and Grindr to get some action. Now that I’m known it’s much easier to get sex, that’s for sure. I’m still on those dating sites because they are great ways to talk with my fans. I have never had a shortage of men trying to get with me because the majority of men are attracted to transsexual women. She-male and tranny are some of the most common porn searches on the internet for straight men. They see us as a preverbal forbidden fruit, exotic, and almost unattainable. When you have 3 trans women in your general area and hundreds of men desiring one you become a popular girl. It all goes back to supply and demand since we are in demand and in short supply. Of course, dating is a different issue altogether and most men who want to be with us sexually do not want to be with us publicly. I think gay men find it easier to find love because there are so many gay men looking for a relationship with one another.

Do you think guys are scared to date trans women?





Of course. The men who want us are straight men that are attracted to femininity. Society still has blinders on and see us as our birth gender no matter what we look like and see any man who dates us as being gay. A straight man doesn’t want everyone thinking he’s gay. It’s a pain in the ass and a situation that is pretty particular to trans relationships.









If guys are scared, how do you reckon they manage it?





That’s not an easy question to answer. If a guy wants to openly date a trans woman or bring us home to meet his family its comparable in some way to us coming out to our families as transgender. It’s never going to go well and you’re going to lose friends, maybe some family members, kids, respect at work. The complications are endless. Since it’s still not socially acceptable and mainstream doesn’t consider it “Normal” it will always have a lot of social complications. However, giving a man advice on how to openly date us and deal with the fall out is like trying to give a trans person advice on how to come out to their friends and family as their true self.









Not many trans women like guys who are chasers, understandably. How can a guy who is interested in a transwoman not come across as a chaser?





I don’t really mind chasers that much. What most girls in this industry don’t realize is that chasers make up their fan base. Without the many horny chasers of the world, I would be out of a job, so I embrace them and tailor make porn to hit their fantasies. I don’t get the whole tranny chaser anyway because to me if a guy prefers transsexual women he could be labelled a tranny chaser which I don’t think is very fair. So, basically, I love those fucking tranny chasers. For all those girls who hate them, just send them my way.

If a woman is pre-op or non-op, how can a guy not fetishize her for having a penis?





I might piss off a few of the fem Nazi trans women out there, but I’m going to lay down some truth. If a man wants a transsexual he wants one with a dick. Period. That’s why when these pornstars like Kimber James and Danielle Fox have it removed, they are out of a job in this industry. The reality is if a man wants a woman with a pussy, he doesn’t want a man-made one that used to be a dick. Genetic girls are a dime a dozen. We are not. What makes us special and unique is that we are feminine pretty women with dicks. Guys go crazy for that exotic idea.





In a relationship, how does a guy provide emotional support, as transition can be a struggle?





This is out of my wheelhouse because I’m married to a woman and she gave me emotional support. Women approach emotional support much different and a lot of the hormonal effects we go through they can relate to and understand. As far as my 2 cents on how in a relationship a man can provide emotional support…Men in relationships are not well known for their emotional support chops. They are not emotional creatures like women are and emotions make them fundamentally uncomfortable and they are raised from a young age to not express them (Boys don’t cry…you have to be strong and not let your emotions show kind of shit). I’ve been married for 20 years and I don’t think there’s a whole lot of women that have been married a long time that say their men are good emotional supporters. Men just think differently and to expect a man to be a good emotional support is optimistic at best. Now I do have a word of caution for men in a relationship with a trans woman who just starts HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). My advice is to get ready because your woman is about to go nuts! Almost everyone acts like a crazy person in their first 6 months as brain chemistry changes before they even out.

How should a guy handle both positive and negative feedback from his family/friends when dating a trans woman?





Expect negative feedback. Nobody brings a T-girl home to their folks and they are like “Good for you…that’s the kind of girl I always wanted for you!”. Same goes for friends. Expect the worst. There is a lot of negative shit for a man who dates us which is why they are hard to find and they go through their own world of shit to date us. Society won’t understand for the most part and neither will friends and family. At first, it’s going to be a shit show but in most cases, friends and family will eventually come around. But to expect it to go well initially is unrealistic.

Can we ask how your own dating life is now, or if you’re single or attached? What lessons have you learned from dating men? Can we ask also if you’re straight, gay, or bi?





I identify as Pansexual. I like to sample the menu. Basically, if you’re of legal age and have a pulse, I might want to fuck you. As far as my personal life, relationship-wise, I’m married to the most wonderful woman on earth. We’ve been married for 20 years and I still get butterflies when we kiss. She is my everything. I also have a transsexual girlfriend. My wife and I are polyamorous. My wife and girlfriend are very close and hang out all the time. We make quite the interesting family dynamic. As for what I’ve learned about dating guys, dicks are awesome! Men tend to get territorial and possessive, so considering my job and my polyamorous life, it’s very difficult to find a man who can cope well with it. Men may strive to come off as confident but most tend to be very insecure.





What new projects do you have coming up?





My next big project will be my first DVD release from my production company Badgirlmafia, which will be distributed by the wonderful peeps at VIP media. The DVD is called “Shemale Scares”. It is a horror-themed anthology video spoofing the horror genre. There’s a scene spoofing slasher films. One spoofing Nightmare on Elm Street, as well as one spoofing zombie movies and TV shows. I know people are going to love it, and it was a labour of love and blast to make. It was the first time I’ve ever had to build tons of full-sized Hollywood style sets and go location scouting to get the scenes just right.





And as trans issues are more prominent now, is the future brighter for transgender people?





Of course it’s brighter. I know we have an LGBT hating dumbass in office right now, but that’s temporary. I see these younger girls going off on how bad we have it and I’m like “Bitch you should have been transsexual 15 years ago and then you might count your blessings!”. Things are so much better it’s unreal, but girls transitioning now don’t get that. We have transsexual characters on TV and who have their own TV series and now even a Trans woman in politics. Its night and day from the old days. Things have come a long way and are moving in the right direction. Every group whether it be Jews, Black people or Gays all had to go through the shit before they get to where they want to be. We need to be patient and not be so militant. Educate, not attack someone for using a wrong pronoun. A lot of these girls have chips on their shoulders and are looking for a fight. Especially with soapbox armchair crusader platforms like Twitter and Facebook.





Thanks a lot. We’ve admired your work a lot and keep it up!!





It was really my pleasure, Babes. Thank you so much for putting up with me during this interview. I know I can be a lot to handle at times, and pretty soon I rub everybody the wrong way.





Check our Ms. Kimber at:

twitter.com/kimberhaven

facebook

kimberhaven.modelcentro.com

Thanks again to Ms. Kimber Haven for taking out time to answer our questions! Hot, beautiful, and smart too!