BEIJING: Senior Chinese officials who negotiated US$34 billion of overpriced infrastructure deals for the Najib government, apologised today, and offered to manufacture Malaysia’s third national car on our nation’s behalf to make up for their role in the 2016 1MDB bail out.

“Yes China finds saddling Malaysia with more One Belt One Road debt almost as regrettable as the fact we couldn’t stop the journalists we were bugging from revealing it in today’s Wall Street Journal,” a spokesman explained,

“However in the interest of maintaining good ties, and by way of compensation, China is willing to lend Malaysia a few billion to build car factories for you in Tianjin and Qingdao to make Malaysia’s third national car here in China,”

“Once again, China would be fulfilling its role as a true friend of Malaysia through a win-win deal of aggressive lending and deploying Chinese workers on Malaysia’s behalf, and if some of the borrowed third national car funds found its way to the Caymans, we’d hardly notice!”

“As the Chinese proverb goes, ‘a friend in need, is a friend agreeable to lopsided contracts indeed!’”