A break from our regular Katz Programming…

In this post, we will alter from our usual lazer sharp focus on Ben Katz and the world of Ultimate, and shift our focus to a different sport: NBA Basketball. I have become ensnared in a bet to write up a deep look at the upcoming season of the Philadelphia 76ers. Here we go!



First, I would like to put the 76ers into context for some of my non basketball devoted followers. The 76ers, to me, are the epitome of a bubble team, outside of a few interesting years. In the 2000’s they were good, led by Allen Iverson, Andre Iguodala, and a couple other great players. They made it to the championships one year with Allen Iverson, and never made much noise after that.



Eventually, they came under the leadership of a wonderful and insane man named Hinkey, who was sick of middling results. He wanted stars, and he wanted to win championships.



Unfortunately in the NBA, it is very difficult and expensive to convince stars to play on your team. So Hinkey began what is known now as “The Process.” This meant he traded/sold off every single good player on his roster, in order to be bad. He got a ton of draft picks, which would be high picks due to how bad the team was. He somehow in this process convinced his fans to enjoy losing, knowing it would lead to future victories. The fans would cheer losing teams, and eventually it panned out, with some pretty solid picks coming through for them. They have developed a couple of high picks into quality players (in a way), and traded assets for good role players.



This brings us to now: I will look at the roster for the 2019/2020 season, and go into some detail on each player, with my initial thoughts on them, alphabetically. I will watch the first youtube video that comes up after a simple search of each players name, and read their nba.com Bio for context.



Jonah Bolden: Bolden was a rookie last year, also for the 76ers. He is from Australia, which I like, as Australians tend to be tough, no nonsense individuals. His father was in the NBA, I beleive as a journeyman. Right away this tells me he has some potential, but some players who have been spoon fed don’t end up that good.



Bolden played two years of college ball in the USA, one as a red shirt at UCLA, the other as a bench player even though he had good size/athleticism. He was upset by his lack of playing time, so he decided to go pro in SERBIA?! He was then drafted after two years to the 76ers, but was still stashed overseas, and played another year with Maccabi Tel Aviv, and won a championship there.



Wow! A lot going on with the first player here. My thoughts after watching one youtube video: He is quite tall and thick, and has a pretty good three point stroke. His career 3pt stroke is 35%, but his FT % is 48. This is abysmal, and unless he gets better at shooting free throws he won’t do much on the court. He also seems pretty flat footed and slow, which will hurt him in any real defensive situation.

Jonah Bolden: I don’t love him.



Trey Burke

A former Knick! I love Trey Burke, and I hope he has great success on the 76ers. He also played at the University of Michigan, a college program I enjoy watching, due to my friend Mike Katz.



When Trey was on the Knicks, he was known as Mini Allen Iverson. It is fitting he is now on the 76ers. He actually went all the way down to the Knicks G League team, after having a pretty rocky start to his career. At a point he was our starting PG! He is very very quick, has a great handle, and a great mid range jumper.



I would say after watching many, many of his games is he would be best as second unit point guard, as he was put on this earth to get buckets. Let him spark your offense, and not feel guilty about shooting. He does not play defense at all.



Trey Burke: No defense played, but I love him.



Joel Embiid: Joel Embiid is one of the most known and studied players in the NBA. I have followed his career closely, as I love Centers. I will say the following statements:

He could be the most dominant player in this era of the NBA (Post Lebron) He is at serious, serious risk of losing the future of his career if he does not keep injuries, playing time, weight, and conditioning under control. He shoots unnecessary threes, BECAUSE he is not conditioned to drive in/power through every possession. At his best, he could realistically hit a layup, dunk, or get fouled every time he touches the ball. Instead he wastes time at the perimeter, when is is a below average shooter and passer. I love his energy, I love his competitiveness, I love his drive for the game, I love his willingness to put everything out on the court. This drive and love for the game can actually hurt him if he doesn’t get together the conditioning/injury prevention off the court. He is clearly the best player on the 76ers, possibly in the entire east. It’s not that he shouldn’t shoot threes- it should be a counter, where he shoots only if they are forcing him to not drive. Off a kick out to him, why not just pump fake, one dribble, dunk every time? Think Al Horford but much stronger and faster with more hops and more skilled at the rim. Instead we get a smaller Shaq who shoots threes.

Joel Embiid: I love him. I want him to stay healthy. If he gets a torn ACL or fractured vertebrae I will pull out my own hair.



James Ennis: James Ennis is the quintessential NBA Journeyman, who has had a crazy ride. After a varied college career at a bunch of weird California Schools I have never heard of, he was drafted in the second round. As a bubble NBA player, bouncing between the D/G League and the NBA, he was not making enough money, and he needed to support his family. So James played overseas in Perth and Puerto Rico, losing some visibility to make money. What an inspiring man! I feel him, sometimes you have to sacrifice professional opportunities for financial opportunities. In the end, I believe it will make him a better player.



Once he came back to the NBA, he bounced around. He had a good year for the 76ers, and could be a good swingman/defender for them that they can rely on to play some serious minutes, and guard some good 2s and 3s.



I think Wing players like Ennis have a hard time standing out in the NBA, even though every team needs them. I feel for him, and I want him to have a great season!

EXTRA: Check this dunkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dDHWE9Pg0o

James Ennis: I like him.

Tobias Harris: I do not like Tobias Harris’s Game, even though he seems like a funny guy. I don’t really know what it is I don’t like about him- He seems slow, but he’s not that slow. His shot is wet, but looks ugly. He plays like a shitty version of Paul Pierce or Joe Johnson without handles. Phil Jackson would love him because he has a big butt and knows how to use it.

For example: I tried watching the first video I could of his highlights and make it like 90 seconds. This is the shittiest highlight reel I have ever seen and it is eight minutes long WTF

The first youtube comment: “Tobias like Melo.” I guess this is true but Melo had a smooth game and great handle, while Tobias has a horrible handle and I hate it. They do look similar when they get to the rim and have stockier frames.



Also this guy is on a FIVE YEAR 180 MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT ARE YOU INSANE 76ERS!?!?!?!?!? To me this is the worst contract in NBA history.



Extra: I really do like his friendship with Boban: Please google it, it is really sweet.

Tobias Harris: I do not love him at all.



Al Horford: I have gotta say I do like Al Horford, though at times I have not liked him. For those who don’t know, this will be his 11th season, and he has been an ultra reliable, solid offensive and defensive center. He transitioned to a more touch/three point shooting game as he got older, and he is genuinely enjoyable to watch. He also left the Celtics which I love. Al Horford was on the back to back national champion Florida Gators with Joakim Noah who I hate, and I hate Florida.



He is on a 4 year 109 million dollar contract, which I don’t think is great, but I see why the 76ers signed him. He also seemed to be the best in the NBA at guarding Embiid, and now they are teammates. It will be very interesting to see if getting Horford can give Embiid a little bit of a break.



He just seems like an all around great guy, and I am happy he no longer is on the Celtics so I can enjoy watching him. His contract is a little much, making 25 million four years from now? Not sure that will be great.



Al Horford: A little pricey but I love him.



Furkan Korkmaz: Only real NBA heads will even know who this dude is. He is a 22 Year Old Turkish Shooting Guard, who has played a lot overseas. He is not very interesting to me. He did score 40 points in the 2018 summer league, which is apparently pretty high up there in all time summer league scoring.



Mainly I like his name. If I were to make fun of him, I would call him Fuckin Christmas, or Fuckin Korkmaz. Not sure which is funnier, but both make me laugh.

Edit: I just watcheda video of him getting 18 points he is taller than I thought, but still trash.

Fuckin Korkmaz: I don’t love him



Isaiah Miles

This dude was good on St. John’s, and hasn’t really played in the nba since then. I love St. John’s and he’s kinda big so I like him. Has been on the summer league team for the 76ers for the last two years, but not nba roster. Life must be strange for players like this- killing 95% of people on the court but still not being that good in the nba. I would not have the patience and dedication, so more power to him! We all should follow our dreams!

Isaiah Miles: I love him

Malik “Shake” Milton

I was not familiar with this guy, but I looked him up and he went from G league to 4 year deal? Fuck yeah shake Milton. Great nickname, great player, great story. I am with it! I like the journeymen, the bench mob, the grindstone guys!!! Congrats to Shake!! Also pro tip don’t bet against SMU in first round of mm tourney they always win.

Shake: I love him!!



Raul Neto

Not gonna lie I’m getting tired of this activity. I never thought I’d be sitting in the doctors office writing about Raul Neto. He’s a shortish Brazilian point guard who is money in the Olympics. Good shooter but not great athlete. I guess he’s fine should be good to have a real pg on the roster cause Simmons is a bum!!!

Raul Neto: who cares

Kyle O Quinn: KOQITTPFITNBANQA!!!!! Look at his twitter account that’s all you gotta do. He was my Facebook cover photo for like two years. He’s my boy totally underrated such a boss!!



In all seriousness: a little slow for todays game, but he is built like a boulder, a consummate teammate, a wonderful passer, and can spread the floor. His mid range jumpers are cash!! His rebounding is fire!



76ers treat him well, I am sorry to say he never achieved success with the Knicks, although he was certainly this fans favorite. Also his twitter is insane!

KOQ I LOVE HIM

Norvell Pelle: Next up in the Top Name edition of this preview is Norvel Pelle. Norvel is an interesting cat: He was a top High School recruit as a center, yet was academically ineligible for college. The man ended up skipping college and skipping the NBA draft as well due to wart injury (?). He was drafted to the D league, and after that played ball overseas and in the D League until this year.

First: I hate the NCAA, and this guy should have been allowed to enter the NBA right out of high school.

Second: what a wild ride he has had! He has high, mid and low level played basketball in: Delaware, Dacin (Taiwan), Homenetmen (Lebanon), Pallacanestro (Italy), and now Philadelphia. He was invited to play for the Lebanese national team. He is also a citizen of Antigua and Barbuda, Lebanon, and the United States. What a cool guy!

I have watched his highlights, and I am here to tell you that he has bounce!! He is like a stronger and worse Mitchell Robinson!

Norvel Pelle: Great name, Great Story, Medium player with no jumpshot. I love him!



Josh Richardson:

A 3 year college player out of Tennessee, he had a great past two seasons for the Miami Heat, and joined the 76ers in the Jimmy Butler Trade. Last season he had a 38 point game? Six foot Six, smooth jump shot, great bounce, smooth game, I love it! ALso a 10 mill/year contract. Also a good defender. He looks like a great fit for the 76ers, and I like his game. Reminds me of Robert Covington, who the 76ers traded away for NOTHING!!!! He is a much better fit than Jimmy Butler, as he doesnt need the ball to score. Really nice going left even though he is a righty, which I like!

To be pleasantly surprised and watch a fun reel of his plays last season, watch this

Josh Richardson: I love him!



Michael Scott:

Mike Scott is a forward in the NBA- He has played for many teams. He gets rebounds, shoots threes, plays defense. Has had some good games, has disappeared a lot of games. Pretty much a good player that doesn’t make much noise.

When he checked into the game or had a good play when he played for the Atlanta Hawks, the in arena keyboardist played The Office Theme Song. He can definitely get hot from Three! Good player good fit.

Michael “Date Mike” Scott: I love him!



Marial Shayok

2 way G League and Rostered player- Played for two colleges, Virginia (I am not a fan) and Iowa State (I am a fan). My sources are telling me he scored 19 points in a summer league game. Pretty good size for a 2 guard, but not good speed. Good Shot. Won’t play much behind all the Sixers 2s and 3s.

Side Note: the 76ers Affiliate G League team is in Delaware. I swear until I started this profile, I have not thought of the state of Delaware in well over two years, maybe 5 years. Have you. I am going to say it out loud now. Feels weird.

Marial Shayok: Ottawan, which I like.

Ben “the walking brick” Simmons

Ben Simmons is a 6 foot 10 Point Guard. He is very, very athletic, very good in transition, and makes fancy behind the back passes to shooters for corner threes. There is just one problem. This dude has no idea which hand is dominant, and therefore is a horrible shooter who will never be good.

Watch this video, which has taken the Internet by storm, as he is the most overhyped player in the nBA currently.

This video is supposed to show how he has become a good shooter. Give me a BREEEAAAAK!!! His shot looks worse than it ever has! He is fading right, shooting with his left hand, with his right foot planted!?!?! What the heck!



His first two years, I liked him. I really did. I thought, this dude will get a shot together, he will be fine. NO!!!! His shot is still awful. In todays NBA it is ridiculous to not be able to shoot threes.



On top of that, outside of the transition game, he really does not have good instincts. His physical skills are there as a passer, which gives him some highlight plays, and he works the transition so well, he picks up a lot of assists.



I am sorry Philadelphia. He seems like a great guy, and I like his attitude towards the game. I like his fashion. I like his transition game, which is maybe best in the NBA outside of Lebron. But he is Not a Franchise Point Guard.

Ben SImmons: I want to like him, but I don’t.



Zhaire Smith

This dude is gonna be good, but was out all last year pretty much with a wheat allergy or something? Seriously he was super sick, and almost died. He lost tons of weight and had to be in the hospital for weeks. I bet he would come back pretty well in a season or two, he has a lot of skills and a good shot. Maybe he will be Franchise PG when SImmons moves to the Three or is traded to the Magic when the 76ers perform badly this season.

Matisse Thybulle

Henri Matisse (1869-1954) was a french artist who had amazing colors in his work, and is known as a revolutionary printmaker, painter, and a friend and rival of Picasso. He is perhaps the best known artist in the Fauvist movement, and his paintings are celebrated all over the world in collections of modern art. When he became too sick to paint, he became a wonderful Collagist.

Matisse Thybulle is a rookie this year, selected in the second round, who is best known for being a tenacious defender on the Division I University of Washington. While I like defense, he is already 22 so I doubt will have much ceiling in the NBA. Probably will get minutes. Like a more athletic Frank Ntilikina? Maybe better comparison is Iman Shumpert.

Henri Matisse: Love him. Matisse Thybulle: Hoping for the best!

Side Note: I think the time period 1869-1954 would have been an absolute insane time period to be alive, especially as a super famous rich french artist. Probably had a dope life!



WOW! What a journey into every single player on the 76ers roster. After reading a lot about every player, here is my take on how the season will go.

The Eastern Conference has gotten a lot worse over the past season and playoffs. Lets look at the playoff teams from last season, with a quick summary from my memory if they gotbetter or worse.

1) Bucks: They will be really good again, but have some deep flaws, which is why they did not get to ECF.

2) Raptors: Got much worse, but I was into their young core. I think if they develop well they could still compete.

3) 76ers: will assess later

4) Boston Celtics: Lost Al Horford, Lost Kyrie Irving, Gordon Hayward is Trash, Jason Tatum is trash, they suck and I am so happy they suck. In your face evil celtics assholes, I bet you feel like IDIOTS for trading Isaiah Thomas!!!!!

5) Indiana Pacers: Sadly Oladipo will be out most of this season so they got a lot worse. Bogdanovich or whatever on this team is sneaky good.

6) Brooklyn Nets: They have KD, but he is out for this whole season. I am not sure Kyrie is upgrade to Deangelo Russell. I like Caris LeVert. They will do about the same and be number one in east in two years.

7) Orlando Magic: About the same, I like them. They have Markelle Fultz who the 76ers took WITH THE NUMBER ONE PICK, OVER JASON TATUM, DE’AARON FOX, LAURI MARKKANEN, DONOVAN MITCHELL, OG ANUNOBY, KYLE KUZMA. Wow.

8) Detroit Pistons: They have Blake Griffin and Reggie Jackson, I cannot name any other players on their team. Blake will get worse as he gets more and more hurt, so I can’t say they will get better.



I don’t see any team really improving that didn’t make the playoffs unless the Wizards use an actual wizard to make John Wall, Bradley Beal, and Isaiah Thomas all play the best basketball of their careers the whole season.

76ers

Looking at a stagnant, worse east, I think the 76ers could probably be the 1st or 2nd seed depending on if Embiid gets Healthy. They will probably make the ECF, but I could see the Bucks improving and beating them in the ECF, or even the Raptors. If they face any Western team in the Finals, they are def losing in 5 games.

In terms of how they will play, it will be ground and pound- Not a lot of shooting in the starting five, which I guess will be

Ben Simmons

Josh Richardson?

Tobias Harris

Al Horford or Kyle O Quinn?

Joel Embiid.



I think their bench may be interesting if ZHaire Smith, Mike Scott, Trey Burke, James Ennis, And Fuckin Korkmaz can do some damage. But that seems like an awful bench to me. If they can use Horford as a backup to Embiid and limit his minutes, should be a good season. If Embiid is injured this year, you are paying a lot of money for Simmons to pass to Tobias Harris who will take contested mid range jump shots all season. Kinda Bleak!





Favorite player on roster: Josh Richardson.

Least favorite: Tobias Harris

Most fun to research: Malik Shake Milton and Henri Matisse.



Could be fun: Josh Richardson completely blowing Tobias Harris out of the water, SImmons getting a jumpshot (will not happen) and being top five player in NBA, Embiid losing thirty pounds this summer and dominating east, with Horford spelling him for many minutes, spreading the floor nicely.

Could suck: Simmons keeps getting worse at shooting losing his confidence, Embiid tears ACL or Fractures Toe, or reignites Back Injury. Al Horford is in and out all season…



Overall outlook: If Healthy, a very strong starting five/6, and very tall and strong. Almost no lights out shooters. East is so bad they will probably go deep into the playoffs.

Also if you head to Philly for a game, make sure to go to the Philly Art Museum! It is the best art museum I have ever been to by FAR! Also the Barnes Gallery is cool too.

And that’s it! My repayment to Matt Sexton and Ethan Giles is complete.