-Ahmed:

(The second I started recording) ...We, Goof, agree that our stuff be used as porn promotion.

-RetterAM:

Oh, Perfect! Also, before we get into this, I wanted to know... Is it Punge or Prunge? I've heard it both ways, and it was from 2 of you.

-Ahmed:

Ryan likes punge and I like prunge, and Josh doesn't give a shit so we just like all of it. That's why it's punk, prunge, punge, whatever you want..

-RetterAM:

I like the idea of it being both… either way it’s nice to meet you guys. I want to start off by asking, who is Goof? Band members.. or however you want to explain.

-Ahmed:

(looking left to right) Ryan, Ahmed, Josh… (Starts laughing) Us Goof, you Audience!

-RetterAM:

What do you guys all play, what do you guys do?

-Ryan:

I play bass.

-Ahmed:

Guitar.

-Josh:

Drums.

-Ahmed:

We all sing.

-RetterAM:

When exactly did you guys become a band?

-Ahmed:

(looking at Ryan) When did we send you the email?

-Ryan:

January or February 2019?

-Josh:

That's when Ryan joined us, me and Ahmed first played together probably in November?

-Ahmed:

Yeah, around the midterms of last year, second semester. So About a year ago in November 2018.

-Josh:

but we weren't a full band.

-RetterAM:

Well that kind of explains also how you guys met. So then Ryan came in the mix, and how did you guys meet him, Craigslist?

-Ahmed:

Well we didn't know how we were gonna find a drummer and Josh like, doesn’t really play the drums, but it came instinctually to him and so I was like, fuck it, let’s do it.

-Josh:

I put out the ad for a PUNK FUCKEN BASSIST WANTED!!!!!! on Craigslist and Ryan, I feel like he was the only one who responded. From our very first practice it was like ok, cool, we’re a band now.

-RetterAM:

Clearly you guys have a sense of humor, and while that's expected from a band with the name Goof, it isn't everything that defines you. You guys are also very serious in regards to your music, from everything you've accomplished in just a short amount of time, to the topics about serious issues in your songs. So has there ever been a situation where you're engaged as not being a serious musician? Like has anyone perceived you as that?

-Ahmed:

Constantly man, everyone thinks we're not serious. I'd say everyone that is a musician probably thinks we're not serious. I mean we do love to hang out, make jokes and off-color comments, and like drink and just be a band basically, you know what I mean? We like to have fun.. and some people… well like for instance, we were playing a show with a band and I went to introduce myself to the drummer and she was like "Oh I'm working dude." and I was like "Dude You're about to fucking play a show"... the fucking jerk, I know you're working, because I'm here working too... There's just a lot of people that take themselves too seriously, and we do too. We take what we do seriously but we also love doing it while having a great fucking time.

-RetterAM:

And that's kind of what I've written the interview based around. I want to explore that duality more with these questions and showcase to people why you should be taken seriously. But even more so why they should have just as much fun as you guys do with your music.

-Josh:

Also, we do have a good time but it's just like as a result of the kind of pain in our lives and other stuff too. I feel like there's a serious undertone to our music because I play it kind of like an exorcism or respondent of the stuff we’re actually going through, you know? Like it's been an intense year and our practices get pretty intense, so even though the nature of our music might be kind of silly it's also kind of serious.

-RetterAM:

That was my takeaway, as for something you just said, I’m really glad you did because I was going to say another describable trait would be your guys intensity. It’s very apparent, as you guys have multiple photos of your instruments covered in blood. Which are some of my favorites. So is playing intensely something you do intentionally to bleed? Or is it just organic because you're feeling the music?

-Josh:

I'd say it's organic. I mean it's organic but then once we're aware of it we kind of embrace it, but I don't think it's intentional.

-Ryan:

Mine was an accident, at a show when I had drank too much I threw my bass in the air and caught it with my face and I think I have a scar on my eye from it.

-Josh:

He had finally joined the club.

-RetterAM:

Yeah, it kind of became an oath or a rite of passage.

-Ryan:

Yes it was like initiation to the gang.

-Ahmed:

I mean it's like the unspoken initiation, and it's not like it was cruel. It just happens.

-Josh:

And I feel like we do play intense, and it comes off as we party and have fun, but I guess we’re sort of angry too. I don't know.

-Ryan:

They're angry, I'm Not.

-Josh:

Yeah, Ryans the Zen one.

-RetterAM:

You guys make it seem, from how I can imagine that there's a high energy level at the shows. So Is there anything that you do specifically to create a memorable impression every time? For instance how one time I saw a Foxy Shazam's lead singer smoke a handful of cigarettes at once, and how like GWAR has the blood, and then other bands walk out to specific songs every time. So do you guys have anything like that?

-Ahmed:

Not really.

-Ryan:

It's always in the moment.

-Josh:

Well I know we all wore matching American flag shirts at the first show, and for the last two shows I started wearing sunglasses just because I wanted to look cool.

-RetterAM:

Well I'm going to try to basically give you a pitch on a couple of things in these next few questions. Basically acting like a hypothetical expert in ironic band strategy.

For instance if you had to choose between playing duck duck goof with the audience or walking out on stage to the SpongeBob Squarepants Goofy Goober Rock song, what would you pick?

-Ahmed:

Can we have a band record the SpongeBob cover as a punk rock SpongeBob song and then play it while we play duck duck goof with the audience in the mosh pit?

-RetterAM:

Absolutely!

-Ahmed:

That's the only way we'll do it.

-RetterAM:

That was the best answer I could have hoped for… anyway, I’ve also got some good merch ideas to pitch as well. So if you had to choose one of these products to best represent Goof, which would you pick?

A branded bouncy ball called the goofball, I'm sure you've heard of it...

Fake goofy teeth that glow in the dark to show the name Goof, with all 4 letters that somehow fit on 2 buck teeth...

Or a tape/vinyl release that ironically features tracks from the other seven bands with the name Goof.

Which would you pick?

-Ryan:

(Laughing) The last one!

-Josh:

Yeah. I liked the first one until you said the last one, but now I'm like... but I just think goofballs funny, because isn't it like a slang term for some drug in like the 50s or something?

-Ahmed:

Honestly the funniest name of the products is the goofball, but the last one is definitely the dopest.

-RetterAM:

I'm glad you see the humor. I was hoping you would. What about promoting? Aside from social media how do you guys promote things like shows or new music?

-Ryan:

We did a classic flyer drop for the first show. We promoted that shit hard. For like the first show that we played just like dropping flyers that we cut out like at all the record shops and punk places in town.

-Josh:

I work at a cafe, and so I just tell all my young co-workers in hopes that they will spread somehow through that.

-Ryan:

And then also pleading with people to come out and see us.

-RetterAM:

Word of mouth, old fashion... But imagine you have a budget to actually promote a new single, but it can only be used if you make a satirical video parodying one of these pun based musical references.

Fiddler on the Goof,

The Way You Goof by Outkast,

This Photograph is Goof by Taking Back Sunday,

Goofs Like Jagger by Maroon 5, or

Goof! (There It Is) by Tag Team,

Which would you choose?

-Ryan:

I think Goof! (There It Is)

-Ahmed:

Yeah it’s the only one we could make a punk song out of.

-Josh:

Out of all those things. That's the only one I had a tape single of in the 90s and I was like always jamming to it.

-Ryan:

(Laughing) Jesus!

-Josh:

So I think the answer to the question is Goof! (There it is).

-RetterAM:

And so...I'm going to switch to some more serious music questions. From talking with Ryan to learn about what you guys are going through from scheduling conflicts to never having a dedicated rehearsal space, and until just recently even having to borrow a gear to play a show, it's beyond impressive to learn how much you've been able to accomplish despite a consistent series of obstacles you've had to tackle. Also, you somehow seem unfazed by these burdens, but as obstacles go, what's been the most difficult obstacle each of you has encountered?

-Josh:

Dealing with Ahmed. (Everyone busts out laughing)

-Ahmed:

Yeah, that’s probably true... For me it’s been how everyone that plays rock music has such low expectations of what they’ll get out of being in a rock band these days. So I would also say it is probably true though, that dealing with me has been hard just because I have these really high expectations for how hard we work. But until we had people responding positively to us, I don't think they understood my enthusiasm. So to answer your question, it was reaching a point where we realized how we can balance each other out, and make each other better people by collaborating.

-RetterAM:

So I thought that you guys might actually have some kind of anecdote about carrying a bunch of equipment on a skateboard pushing it up a giant hill or something like that…

-Ahmed:

We've taken our instruments on B.A.R.T. and went to Oakland from San Francisco.

-RetterAM:

Yeah, like that.

-Josh:

An alternate answer for me would be having to borrow gear until finally getting a drum kit.

-RetterAM:

I could see burdens like these, breaking another band apart in theory. And so I think that there is a chemistry that really works here which is why I want to know more about what motivates you. Besides a sense of community or the love of playing music, is there something you want to accomplish with being in the band, or is your drive simply based on the intrinsic value you get out of it?

-Ahmed:

Someone called our music punk rock South Park and that was it for me. I've accomplished everything I wanted when someone said that.

-Ryan:

I played Slims, so everything after that is a bonus for me.

-Ahmed:

I guess like I want to be Nirvana. I want to be Metallica. not because I want to be a rock star, but because it's just cool to tell people the truth, and rock out with them. Having them rock out back to you. No drugs, no alcohol, nothing feels like that and I want to keep doing it with these guys.

-Josh:

For me... intrinsic value. I just like to jam. I like playing shows and, yeah, just jamming. I like the idea of shows and they usually turn out well.

-RetterAM:

So as you're coming off from recently playing show with Agent Orange and The Avengers, followed up quickly by you guys releasing your debut E.P. Do you have any plans for how you'll use this momentum in 2020?

-Josh:

Hopefully play more shows.

-Ryan:

Just the basic shit, to be honest. We've been sitting on the E.P. for a while. It took a little bit to get out. Now we need to do the basic cold emailing to try and play locally as much as we can and try to branch out to the East and North Bay and San Jose area.

-RetterAM:

If you had your druthers, what would you want the next thing you guys do, be? Like what’s the most ideal thing you’d want to do?

-Josh:

Yeah I would like to continue to play bigger venues and further away places you know? Maybe make a web series, that I guess would kind of be of ripping off Flight of the Conchords, but it’d be more Girls-esque on HBO.

-Ahmed:

Our hopes are on recording an album, doing a web series or a music video, and doing a tour as big as we can, around election time.

-RetterAM:

And since you've played a show with big bands now, but you're also cool going back to whatever, being happy with playing just a house show, are there any local bands that you look at and say “I want to play a show with them?”

-Josh:

I'd like to play with Pork Belly because they're friends of mine and I have been to some of their shows and they’re pretty kick ass. We're out to make friends.

-Ahmed:

Yeah, make friends, and then pull pranks on them.

-RetterAM:

What about venues? I know for Slims, Ryan you made it seem like it was on your list, so do you guys have a top three list of venues you want to get to?

-Ahmed:

I want to play the Independent and the Fox Theater in Oakland.

-Ryan:

I thought we'd play Bottom of the Hill before Slims, based on how the pecking order seems to go here, but that'd be my next venue.

-RetterAM:

It’s clear that writing music isn’t just a means to solely make a name for yourselves, as it's also an important outlet for you to have fun, while also expressing your truths occasionally, and bringing attention to issues you care about in general. How do you go about deciding whether a song should be surface level goofy as opposed to being something emotionally deep. Is it something you know before you write a song, or do you start writing a song and then decide you're gonna make the tone in somewhere along the way?

-Ahmed:

Personally the fact that it's funny was not an intention. I just like funny stuff. It's like everyone loves funny things. How many times do you look at your phone and laugh at something? We write funny songs about masturbating, punching Nazis and how school shootings are bad.

-RetterAM:

For this last one, if you could pick two issues for a song to be about, knowing that the song would have a guaranteed impact. What are the 2 issues each of you would pick?

Josh:

You mean like social issues?

-RetterAM:

I mean anything that is an issue you care about. Something you would want a song to be about, knowing it would have a guaranteed impact...

-Ryan:

Deep question...

-Ahmed:

Mine would be about how there should be no politics in government. Politics are just the popular parts of the government. I'm just saying people should get their thing because they're qualified, not because they're popular and I’d want to have a beer with them. That's all I mean… That is an issue that I would write a song for if I knew it would have a guaranteed outcome. Because if that gets fixed, so many things get fixed, like health care, education, drug addictions, war on criminality. All that shit. So I would only say that one thing.

-Ryan:

I mean a lot of what I've thought about recently is related to gentrification or the act of moving to big cities and just the flux of a lot of the major cities in America are experiencing. How prices kind of go up everywhere and people who have been there get pushed out and then people who move to those places complain about the prices and the cost of living going up. It's just like this like perpetual weird vicious cycle.

-Josh:

I don't even know if I care about anything at all anymore.

-RetterAM:

I think you could get on board with my pick. I'd pick something about water, because water is the most important thing. A lot of people don't have it, and that could be fixed easily.

-Josh:

That's a good one. And I do care about water. You also made me thirsty by saying that.

-RetterAM:

So to wrap things up, I’ve got some quick, rapid fire questions. No explanations, just a single answers. What cryptozoology creature would you want to be known for finding?

-Josh:

I don’t know, ummmmmm a unicorn?

-Ahmed:

A mummy.

-Josh:

A Mummy?

-Ahmed:

Yeah dude I’m Egyptian.

-Ryan:

I'd try to find Mothman.

-RetterAM:

If you had the means to donate large sums of money for a specific cause, what would it be?

-Josh:

Animals.

-Ahmed:

Akon.

-Ryan:

Tony Hawk Foundation.

-RetterAM:

Wild West or Ye Old England?

-Ryan:

Wild West.

-Josh:

I think I’d pick wild west.

-Ahmed:

Wild West.

-RetterAM:

What’s your go to karaoke song?

-Ryan:

FAT LIP

-Josh:

Mines I’m Not In Love by 10cc.

-Ahmed:

I'm terrified of karaoke. It's too scary.

-RetterAM:

So nothing? all right... What's the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten?

-Josh:

Mint or peppermint.

-Ahmed:

I've tasted my own jizz before.

-Ryan:

A whole jar of relish.

-RetterAM:

Well Goof, it's been a pleasure getting to know the biggest name in punge/prunge. Is there anything you’d like to make known?

-Ahmed:

We’re just a punk band. That's it.

-Josh:

Yeah thanks man.

-RetterAM:

Absolutely. Really quick though since it’s your first interview is there anything you want to be known about you? Or is there a question you don't want to have asked over and over again?

-Ahmed:

No man, people can ask us anything, we’re nobody yet.

-Josh:

I don’t see why people get annoyed about that, because everyone's just hustling and doing their job.

-Ahmed:

I would just like to again plug Akon the rapper, artist of smash hits “Smack That”, and “I Wanna Fuck You.”

-Ryan:

You've plugged Akon more than ourselves.

-Ahmed:

Yeah. He's changing the world dude, he’s helping kids in Africa. He’s giving them like electricity and water…