Don’t you worry

Don’t worry about a thing

‘Cause nothing really dies

Nothing really ends

As perfect a send-off as my hometown show in Vienna was (or I should say, would’ve been), the very next day I started entertaining the idea of adding another one. It would have to be a Saturday, since I don’t have any days off at work left to use up this year, having planned a lengthy Japan vacation, so that left three options: Bochum, which was just a bit too last minute, a pain to get to, and close to sold-out; Stockholm, a city I’ve been to before, and to which flights were expensive; and Kiev… which only had upsides. It was the final show of a 145 dates world tour, flights and lodging were cheap, there were plenty of great seats still left for sale, and while I’ve been meaning to visit, if I’m honest it never would’ve made it far enough up my travel priority list any time soon, so it was the perfect opportunity, and an ultimately very easy choice. It’s neither the craziest nor most impulsive thing I’ve ever done for a concert, but it was very out-of-character for A. to so readily agree to it, so I booked it on a whim before he could change his mind, and I’m so happy we have found something we both love enough to share it in this way!

I had briefly considered coming to see Tori at this same venue, the gorgeous and fancy October Palace overlooking Maidan, in 2014—but then the Ukrainian Revolution happened, and that idea died before I could fully form it (she ended up cancelling the show anyway because the situation was still tense some months later)—it felt like me getting closure to some unfinished business though! I bought the cheapest tickets available that I’d still be happy with if I were to have to sit in those seats, but in a section from where I could reach the stalls from within the auditorium, with the reasoning that we’d try and seat-hop to one of the many open seats left up front. Concerts are an expensive commodity in the Ukraine, not really affordable for the average citizen; the cheaper, upper sections of the concert hall were booked up, while there was still plenty of seats left in the front stalls, and I was determined to have my butt in one of those.

We got to the city around 3PM, and did some sight-seeing and went for dinner, before rushing to the venue because the ticket said that the show would start at 7PM—we got there with fifteen minutes to spare, the line was huge, but when we finally got inside, all the doors to the auditorium were still locked, and we had to wait around for an hour, which was pretty annoying—I wouldn’t have had to wolf down my assorted varenyky as I did! The seat-hopping worked like a charm though; we entered through the amphitheater section we had tickets for, and walked past the mixing desk to the third row seats I’d been eyeing, and sat down as if we belonged. Plenty of others had the same thought, and all the seats the website had shown me as still unsold that morning filled up just before show-time. The stage was very deep, and their instruments set up quite far back, so despite being very close to the stage (the front row had their knees up against it, pretty much), it felt like the band was quite far away, and since the stage was straight, not curved, it wasn’t quite as immersive as in Munich, but still more so than any other show I saw.

A. had a headache and no earplugs, so I gave him mine, something I regretted as soon as Nowhere Now kicked in. Holy shit, I am just not used to concerts without ear protection anymore, or the volume was especially deafening at this show, I don’t know, but it felt like someone hitting a huge gong right next to my head over and over, and it took most of the song for my hearing to adjust. I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to be far enough back to really get the full effect of the double curtains during Pariah for me to like it, but as in Munich, the part where Ninet goes all out and the color bursts explode across the back screen as Steven starts shredding on his guitar gave me goosebumps, it was amazing. It’s still my least favorite song on To the Bone, and my least favorite part of the show, but the visuals are definitely effective, if you’re positioned in a way for them to work their magic.

By way of introduction, he made binoculars with his hands and went “Wow, I need a telescope tonight. I really don’t like the seated audience thing, y’know, especially when the audience is three miles away, which makes it hard to get a good vibe going“. He said that he wants us to express enthusiasm even when we think it’s inappropriate, because it’s the last show of the tour, and after 145 shows they’re “fucking exhausted“, but they want it to be a good one, because it’s their own after-tour-party, in a way. He then asked if most people could understand him if he spoke English (which I found a bit of an odd question—it’s not something he asks his audiences in central Europe, so why here?), and when there were cheers, he went “good, because I talk a lot“, and gave a dashing smirk which made me forgive the somewhat inappropriate question. He said that it’s always interesting for him when he plays a place for the first time, because he doesn’t know what his fans will be like—when he plays South America or India it’s lots of teenagers, while in Germany it’s middle aged men in King Crimson t-shirts, but he has no idea what his Ukrainian audience is like, “also because I actually really can’t see you“. A guy directly behind me yelled out “something in the middle!“, to which he said that’s his favorite kind, because it reinforces his own belief that he makes genre-defying music that can speak to any demographic. On that note, he was going to now play us a song from “way way way way way (…) way way back, all the way back to my last album“, with an explosive Home Invasion and stunning Regret #9 to follow. I was on the right side of the stage for the first time on this leg of the tour (I usually tend towards the left because I enjoy being in front of Nick), and was absolutely transfixed by Alex’ solos, wow.

Creator was incredible—I payed proper attention to the visuals (which don’t seem that interesting at a glance) for the first time, and noticed that there are brief flashes of creepy imagery (nothing super disturbing, just faces, for the most part) among all the grainy orange-tinted footage, it suits the song well. It’s amazing how much love for detail goes into his live shows, I’m so in awe of it. When you think about it, he’s a relatively niche artist, and considering the small scale of his shows, it’s like getting miniature Muse or Roger Waters productions, which is just incredible. Refuge was beautiful as always (as at most of the gigs I saw this year, he had to take a breath on the sustained line though), and all these shows later, I just have to say that the transition from Creator into this beautiful ballad is still the weirdest of all to me! His introductory speech to The Same Asylum As Before had a bit more cheek to it than usual, I thought. He did the under 25 gag and then went on to say that the electric guitar is incredibly sexy, probably the sexiest instrument of them all, and that all his idols looked incredibly sexy (he really repeated that phrase a lot) while playing it without even giving it a glance, as if it were an extension of their very body and soul, while the opposite of that are people on YouTube with their instrument up by their necks playing 3000 notes a second—“that’s great you can do that, well done, but I don’t want to listen to it“. And for that reason, “I’m going to be playing the solo on this next song—that’s right: me—and I’m going to play it the only way I know how: Badly” (spoiler alert: He played it perfectly).

As usual, Ancestral closed the first set, and if I’m honest, the show hadn’t really carried a melancholic last show kind of vibe so far, but this song reaches places inside me that few others can, and I started being painfully aware that this would be the last for who knows how long, and possibly the last show with this line-up, and it made me sad. This isn’t specific to this song, but I noticed that the guys’ interactions on stage increased with every show towards the end, and there were moments when they were just about having full conversations on stage—I especially noticed it with Steven and Alex at this particular one. I think they’ll really miss each other; as Nick aptly put it, they’re a lovely bunch of coconuts, and I loved watching them bond and have fun over the course of these last fourteen months. After the first few songs I’d noticed Tonto running up to Steven and telling him something, pointing at the front part of the stage. Steven had used it as a runway through-out the first few songs—after that, he didn’t step on it if he could help it, but only made a beeline to the edge of the stage. During the intermission, they brought out the vacuum cleaner and gave the front part of the stage a thorough cleaning, so he could move around on it freely during part two without risk of injury.

The transition into the second part was sudden and unexpected. For one, I don’t think the full twenty minutes were up, and there had been no warning bell as before the start of the show—the lights quite suddenly dimmed, and they came back on stage with their shakers for Arriving Somewhere But Not Here as half the audience scrambled back to their seats. It’s been such a pleasure having this song on the set—played just a handful of times on the final Porcupine Tree tour, it hadn’t been a show staple in twelve years, and it’s just all sorts of wonderful, definitely one of those incredible tracks that take you on a journey, and one of the high points in PT’s entire career.

Then it was time for one final disco dance—me and A. stood up before he could ask us to, which is exactly what he did, introducing Permanating saying “I know you’re Ukrainian and like depressing songs; I understand, I’m English, so do I! And no worries, there’s plenty of that to come“. He pointed out some people in the audience wearing King Crimson, The Cure, and Joy Division shirts, and said that he likes all those bands too, but also ABBA and the Bee Gees (“yes, it’s possible to like all of those things!“), and explained how moving at a concert works: “What you do is you start tapping your foot. Then maybe you’ll start nodding along, and you might just find that you’re enjoying yourself!“. It was a super fun performance, people started filling the aisles from way in the back, and everyone remained standing from this point on, which is when the show, which was already great, really took off and became amazing.

Song of I has climbed my favorite live songs list over the course of the tour, and the holograms looked great at this one as well, although my angle wasn’t as good as in, say, Munich or Vienna, because I was looking at Steven from the right side and he overlapped with the dancer a bit, rather than dancing next to her. What was hilarious is that Nick disappeared at one point, and came back wearing a cape around his shoulders which had “MR. EGGS” on it in glow-in-the-dark adhesive tape (?), which is apparently what Steven’s adoptive daughter calls him. He jumped and flapped around with it for maybe half a minute before casting it off and joining in with the band again. Lazarus was lovely—there’s something so cathartic about that song, and there were quite a few people around me singing along to it (in a nice, complementing way, not the out-of-tune distracting kind), and it always makes me feel such a sense of connection, it’s beautiful.

I may have felt that I was over Detonation in Vienna, but that just goes to show how dependent on your daily state of mind the relationship you have to certain music is—it was one of my highlights this evening, and I loved every second of it. Steven was also really into it, and covered just about every square inch of the (very large) stage. At one point he went down on his knees at the edge of it and offered his head to a middle-aged guy who put a hat on him, which he sported for the rest of the song. It reminded me of the teenage girls who adorn Florence Welch with flower crowns at her shows, and I got this really funny mental picture of Steven with daisies woven into his hair, heh. I felt like he was actively seeking out physical closeness to the audience, more so than usual, which was really lovely.



The set continued with a heartbreakingly stunning Heartattack in a Layby, making the main set identical to the one in Munich. Vermillioncore followed, and was off the hook; I got the best look at the videos yet, which are just so cool—I kind of hate what they did to this song on the Home Invasion DVD, the kaleidoscopic effect makes me dizzy, and ruins the visuals, which are perfect as they are. Sleep Together closed the set, and the crowd went wild for it, which in turn really added to the guys’ fire—I live for the keyboard climax, my favorite part, and while I’m usually too busy to think of anything other than staying in the moment for it, I couldn’t resist taking this short clip as a little final show memento—I just love how he flips his hair to the rhythm, the Jesus pose, and Nick’s outstretched hand, I want to inject it all straight into my bloodstream.

After Even Less and Blackfield (I was surprised by the lack of Sentimental, but that just makes the one I got to hear in Vienna even more special!), he introduced the band. I’m pretty sure he called Alex “Hutchingson“, but if it was a joke, it was so subtle, no one got it. Adam supposedly gets a hard time because he’s the only American, while “this guy has had to put up with a lot of shit from me on this tour“, at which point Craig looked a bit miffed, which made Steve go “awww, look at his little face“, which in turn made Craig crack up and give him the finger. Steven then turned to Nick and said “I still haven’t figured out if it’s a man or a woman. I think it’s a girl? Nichola Beggs, everyone!“, which prompted Nick to introduce “a right fucker, Stephanie Wilson“. He then asked us to indulge him as he introduced the touring crew as well, which really drove home that this was the last show, and almost made me cry. He thanked all the people involved in making the tour a success, from his touring manager, to the techs, the roadies, the drivers, the merch guy, and everyone who came to see him over the course of the tour.

The final two songs were introduced in the usual way (both are depressing, but one has a catchy chorus so we can be sad with a smile on our face, while the other has no redeeming qualities and is just depressing), but he added a tidbit I’d never heard before: Apparently Craig doesn’t like The Raven That Refused to Sing. Steven said that it’s one of the songs he’s proudest of, and that some people say it’s the best song he’s ever written… “except Craig, who doesn’t like it, and in fact thinks it’s not just my worst song, but the worst thing anyone’s written, ever“. Craig’s face didn’t betray anything, and I don’t know if he was taking the piss or if there’s a kernel of truth in there, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit offended on Steven’s behalf, haha. The sing-along during The Sound of Muzak was a raging success, he knelt down by the edge of the stage to mime the lyrics for us and get us to sing, it was a beautiful moment.

After taking their final, prolonged bows, they showered the audience in goodies: Nick threw a whole stack of his old setlists, and Steven and Alex whole handfuls of their guitar picks—I found one of Alex’ under the seat in front of me! And that was it. It’s still a bit hard to wrap my head around, because I’ve been following this very extended tour (sometimes on the road, mostly from afar) for such a long time, it feels weird that it’s just… over, for who knows how long. I’m sure we’ll get plenty of things to tide us over until the next album he’s already started writing: We’re supposedly getting new no-man and Blackfield next year, the long delayed Deadwing movie seems to have been revived, and then there’s the mysterious book project he alluded to a while back—thankfully he’s prolific, but I do hope that he takes the time to slow down, rest, and recharge his batteries after what must’ve been a draining year—but hopefully also just as rewarding for him as it was for the fans. I, for one, am incredibly grateful that I got to experience this wonderful show as often as I did, and certainly don’t regret, but rather treasure, the stressful last-minute weekend trip to the Ukraine, which ended with a sleepless night at the airport so I could catch the earliest flight back and make it into work in time—for Steve and the gift of his music, that and more.

Setlist » F i r s t P a r t «

Nowhere Now

Pariah

Home Invasion

Regret #9

The Creator Has a Mastertape (Porcupine Tree)

Refuge

The Same Asylum As Before

Ancestral » S e c o n d P a r t «

Arriving Somewhere But Not Here (Porcupine Tree)

Permanating

Song Of I

Lazarus (Porcupine Tree)

Detonation

Heartattack in a Layby

Vermillioncore

Sleep Together (Porcupine Tree) » E n c o r e «

Even Less (Porcupine Tree) (SW solo)

Blackfield (Blackfield) (acoustic SW and Adam Holzman)

The Sound Of Muzak (Porcupine Tree)

The Raven That Refused to Sing