Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture, and anyone who has fallen into its excruciating clutches will have no doubt why. Personally, I don’t believe in torture — not when it’s done to political prisoners, and certainly not when it’s done to me. So as you can imagine, I am feeling less than pleased about the fact that I only slept 7 hours last night.

If you’ve been paying attention, you probably know that the average adult needs 8–9 hours of sleep per night to function unimpaired. Again, I slept 7 hours, which is one hour less than 8 hours, so you do the math.

If I had just added 60 more minutes of solid REM sleep to my slumber, I would have awoken bright eyed and bushy tailed, but the cruel and vengeful Gods of unrest had different plans for me. When I woke up to my alarm at 8am, the best way to describe the state I was in is sleepy, and like I would have enjoyed sleeping a bit more.

Sleep is something that your body needs. Blood is also something that your body needs. Now imagine if all of the blood was drained out of body and thrown into the garbage? This is exactly like that.

So what’s next for me? Well it’s impossible to say, but one thing I can say is that my day is 100% ruined.

I will go through the motions, performing personhood, but I am only a husk of a real human being. First I will complain loudly and at length to my coworkers about the fact that I barely slept last night. My coworker Dana will try and sympathize with me by offering that her kid got sick last night and she was up taking care of her all night. Thanks for trying to relate Dana, but I honestly can’t hear you because I am so physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted that my ears no longer work.

That’s right: I slept 7 hours and my bodily functions are shutting down.

For now, all I can do is get to bed earlier tonight and pray for a better, more survivable outcome. And if I can’t achieve that? Well, you’ll be hearing all about it tomorrow.