Jon Stewart: 'Cheney can pixillate things just by touching them'

David Edwards and Muriel Kane

Published: Thursday June 28, 2007 Print This Email This

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart returned on Wednesday to his series on Vice President Cheney's extreme penchant for secrecy, reporting that "while the White House and Capitol appear crystal clear on Google Earth, the Naval Observatory, the vice president's official residence, appears only as an obscured mass of pixels."

"Don't think that Dick Cheney asked Google to have him pixillated," explained Stewart. "Dick Cheney can pixillate things just by touching them. ... It's a superpower he got when he was bitten by a very low-resolution spider. Luckily, with this power comes no responsibility."

Stewart then turned to a story about a top adviser to Rudy Giuliani being arrested on charges of cocaine distribution. "But relax everybody, this is no big-time drug dealer," said Stewart, playing a clip of CNN saying that "the US Attorney handling the case says Ravenel purchased less than 500 grams of cocaine to share with other people, not to sell it."

"Not to sell but to share?" asked Stewart. "And you call yourself a Republican? That is not capitalism, my friend, that is welfare."

The following video is from Comedy Channel's The Daily Show, broadcast on June 27.





