It has been a very loooong week 😳😴 I’m exhausted. All I do is sit behind a computer all day. But the traveling between Newport and Cardiff everyday is a killer, it’s 12 miles and takes over an hour to get to work. Urg.

I don’t often talk about mental health, although I do share the odd post on Instagram or Facebook to try and raise awareness and to tell people in a roundabout way that I’m not entirely ok.

I don’t talk about it because I feel guilty about the people who have “actual” problems and people who have a reason to feel the way they do. I’ve been suffering with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember, going back to my teens. I have no idea why. I wasn’t abused, I haven’t suffered any trauma, I have a loving family. However, I strongly believe that it is genetic as my great-grandmother suffered with depression, as do my Grandma, Auntie, mum and sister. And it comes with its physical issues too, IBS, migraines, weight problems and numerous other aches and pains.

I’ve been inspired lately by a friend from work who has started blogging about her experiences and her bravery and openness has really helped me the last few weeks.

Exhaustion is the worst thing for me, I can’t sleep properly but then come morning I can’t get up either. Every single morning I struggle to drag my ass out of bed and get ready. The last two days I’ve not even been able to drag a brush through my hair,I just wash it and tie it back and hope for the best 🙄

This week, I’ve been so tired I’ve just gone home from work, had food and gone straight to bed. Not to sleep, just to sit and watch a film because I have no energy but I know if I go straight to sleep I will be up every hour and feel even worse. I’ve not even wanted to do any sewing, just seems like too much effort. But I need to keep my hands busy, so while sitting in bed, with Star Trek or a Marvel movie on in the background, I decided to finish my pineapple shawl. This is a free pattern by Amy Gunderson for Universal Yarn. There is a 3-part video tutorial by Jonna Martinez here.

You may recall I started this ages ago, like before Christmas ages ago 😣 just another thing on the list of half finished projects 🤭 something else on the list of weirdness, I can’t finish anything. Here is my list of WIPs:

Anyway, I was on round 20 the last time I blogged about it, and I think I had done a little more at some point so there really wasn’t much left to do. I was determined that my sitting-in-bed-time wouldn’t be a complete waste and wanted to feel like I’d done something.

Here it is before adding the border, I love the Caron Cakes they’re so pretty and soft to work with (I get mine here). That little light pink bit on the pineapple second from the right is a bit odd looking but then that’s variegated yarn for you 😂 plus it’s for me, so who cares 😁

Last night we had KFC for tea, so I went home, put on my PJs, made sure I had everything I needed and got into bed to enjoy my chicken and watch Star Trek Beyond. My best friend and I, despite living 200 miles apart, often watch films “together”, maybe this is weird but we love it, we try to sync up as best we can so we press play at the same time and then we chat and craft “together”. I’d be lost without her ❤️

I was pleased to finish my shawl last night, after all the chicken-munching yumminess 🍗 I love the picot edging and it worked up so quickly.

Even though it was getting late, I then started faffing around getting my mannequin, Ena and draping it over her to try and get a couple of better pics. I was meant to have an early night 🤔 oh well. This was more fun.

I do enjoy my crafts, I just wish I had more time. But I need to earn the pennies to pay for the crafts so it’s a necessary evil. Having something to keep you busy and keep your mind active is the best therapy.

Happy Friday, and happy crafting xxx💜xxx

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