Last year, Twitter’s staff revealed that they had discovered thousands of accounts affiliated with the Internet Research Agency, an organization sensationalized in the press as a “Russian troll farm.” It’s widely believed that these twitter accounts were part of a larger Russian intelligence operation to sow discord, encourage disillusionment in American democracy, and potentially influence the outcome of the 2016 presidential election.

FiveThirtyEight, data journalism mecca and this editor’s favorite non-misery-adjacent website, recently published an archive of almost 3 million tweets associated with these Russian troll accounts. Certainly this archive is an incredible resource that will be providing insights (and dissertation fodder) to political scientists and historians for years to come. But, here at Misery Tourism, we don’t give a shit about that. So instead I loaded a sample of them into a predictive text emulator and wrote some bad poetry.

As with my previous predictive text posts, I used Jaime Brew’s pt-voicebox emulator to compose the poems below. The titles, capitalization, punctuation, and formatting of the poems were added after the fact, but all of the text comes from the emulator, which provides a limited list of options as you write similar to the suggestions offered by a smartphone’s autocorrect feature. These options are based on the frequency with which words appear in the source text.

I was going to close this introduction with a perfunctory “Have fun!,” but apparently you can’t have fun in Russian, so, uh, here’s some god damn poetry.

News

NEWS

Breaking:

Princess Bride scene sparks outrage

from conservative groups

over Islamic extremism

and more.

NEWS

NEWS

Knife attack victim thanks patriots

who shot fleeing black teen

in his kid’s school board meeting.

Green

i voted green and

they call me sexist but

i dont even care

its all corrupt

Berlin

You see my ghost in Berlin,

so I am happier without tweets.

T’Challa

Socialism started with the beautiful black mothers

one day after the fall of young pharaoh Netjeretkhau

to the white supremacist dog gasser

at his final resting place

in Hell.

Clickbait

Avocados with our reparations:

this video exposes

American marxist monopoly

on black student debt.

Is it 1979?

Trump supporter threatened group

of influential middle easterners

and then blocked them

on soundcloud.

Baby Jesus

baby jesus hears our cries

but he will not vote

oh wait um

Tiffany

Dumb animals have feelings,

but don’t you retweet

Tiffany Trump.

Legacy

Are we supposed to hurt

the first time someone says,

“Suck it up ugly,”

and then kills his family

to save his legacy,

as you walk away.

trump tower

trump tower reminds us all

who our enemies are

and they destroyed

ferguson flint baltimore

or deface this country

by not cracking down

on protesters who called for

violent hatebased violence

against white students

who really just need to be treated

with such total agreement and

you wonder why america

is waking up with

a gun in both hands

u r

u r racist

u r loser

u r old

u r sick

u r not funny

especially

when u

try to

block debate

rt

on twitter for years;

maybe someone should listen.

rt if you want more

about being too weak to stop.

Coffee Filter

Coffee filter in Syria

rests on a sill,

without knowing.

Theodicy

Secret Service detail emerges

from their wicked ways

to conceal Pizzagate arrests

via amazon contractors

using bleachbit tools,

and Hillary has pneumonia in her blood.

Not only did Moscow vote Trump and Putin

in to the White House for sure

on hacked voting machines

from illegally deployed #usarmy staff

that they paid cash for vans on tv

during violent demonstration,

jet fighters entered the DNC

and Bernie Bros are Russian bots

and bogus Russian military heroes

fighting for their animalistic benefit.

When companies allow Pence to say

anything, disparagingly, about Benghazi

without consequences,

why didn’t god help?

Hope

not sure hope is eternal in this case

anyone else tired sad and pathetic

watching the same woman

for a long time now

work out

and can’t remember

her husband michael

lol

Rare Pepe

not all pepes

are the true face

of tragedy

and his pathetic god

will never turn around

and do lewd acts

for his dirty war machine

John Oliver

North Dakota dictator

Kim Jung Trump

will ban hard truth bombs,

and then turn his back

on your tinfoil hat sunrise.

not afraid

you know i’m not afraid,

but #hillaryclinton

herself destroyed

a big fish sandwich

to keep her doctor lost,

and don’t ask why

podesta’s brother runs ads

in new jersey train station

using someone’s soul

for his failed deal

with the saudis.

Hate Speech Couplets

Lynch Obama and cheer as they stomp

their disgraceful liberal heads into the swamp.

Kompromat

for your bullshit network news.

Duterte is destroyer

of all sexual orientations.

I voted illegally;

hope everyone won’t report that.

CNN is begging to stop mass shootings but

Dylann Roof doesn’t care about black trans women.

Stocks plunge as much as dreamers do.

Die.

A national disgrace and fury like you always love;

exactly what liberals want.