But even more important, no matter what else is going on, it is just not like Taystee (even an emotionally distraught and angry Taystee) to abandon Suzanne to one of the other girls. Taystee is upset because her friend Poussey was killed but she is going to ignore her other friend when she is most in need? Now it is theoretically possible that Taystee, like many Redditors, blamed Suzanne for Poussey’s death but she sure hasn’t even remotely expressed this to date.

My suspicion is that Taystee is starting to be so lost in her own grief and anger that she has no way to express it and is starting to escape into her "job" (negotiating) so that she does not have to live entirely in her immense sorrow. The dangers here are that she really isn't dealing with her grief (which will fester) and that she is also not acting like herself.

I did, however, enjoy all of the CO’s keeping Suzanne company but whatever else is going on, Suzanne will need serious help and she will need it very soon.

Let me also say that Uzo Aduba is just an amazing actress, at times her depiction of Suzanne just makes me want to break down crying (and I never cry).

4. “Did You Want To Go To The Poo?”

I am kind of confused as to why the CO’s were playing along once they were let out of the bubble. Pretty sure at least three of them are ex-military which means they could cause some serious problems when un-penned.

Sure, they are not fully clothed and still massively outnumbered but they have to know that the inmates cannot afford to lose their leverage and invite an all-out assault by hurting more hostages. My feeling is that they could easily grab a few inmates and use them as human shields pretty easily.

3. “In Russia, We Do Not Have ‘Happy Meal,’ We Have Unhappy Meal”

Pidge and Ouija find some coffee in the officer’s lockers and they start serving coffee to the inmates. Later, they find out that Brandy Epps was a barista and they start to work together to make their version of a coffee house (Apparently, Epps was on the cover of "Barista Magazine" two times before she was arrested for poisoning the coffee of African-Americans and Jews).

Somehow, against all odds, the existence of a coffee house starts to relax tensions between the inmates particularly during a set of performances including:

Sankey singing Green Day’s “Time of our Lives” but with slightly altered prison appropriate lyrics.

Skinhead Helen reciting the poem “Full Bush, Half Snickers” (here is my transcription):

Full Bush, Half Snickers

Revolting Women, My Sisters

Stand United, Better Guards

Yummy Snacks, Nicer Yard

Maxi Pads, Cleaner Showers

Voices Screaming, Fight the Power!

Finally, Ouija (her character’s real name is Carmen Aziza) does pretty spot on impersonations of Lorna, Nichols, and Red.

Sadly, like always, the Meth-Heads ruin everything by stealing the remaining coffee while everyone is busy watching the performances. Once the coffee runs out, everyone in line gets pissed and the entire coffee area devolves into a prison-wide melee.

An aside, I do get tired of the ongoing casual racism of the Nazi’s, I also got tired of it in prison, so I guess it is true to the characters. I still hate it.

2. “Fucking Bond Villain”

I won’t lie, as much as I find Blanca hilarious, I am getting really tired of Kate Mulgrew’s characterization of “Speed Freak Red.” Maybe it would be more accurate to say that I am still having a really hard time understanding how after only a few days of abusing speed Red’s entire personality and ethical system has changed 100%.

I am not suggesting that Red is a saint but now I am supposed to believe that she would cut a guy’s fingertip off just so that she can continually access his cell phone in order to enact the dumbest plan in the long history of dumb plans on television?

To recap the plan, they are going to pretend to be Humps and send a text to Piscatella to lure him into the prison so they can “trap him” Home Alone style (no seriously, they actually planned it to work like Kevin against the “wet bandits” (Let us not forget that Piscatella is at least 6’5, murderously vicious, and most likely entirely criminally insane).

So, we are supposed to just accept that Red, who has been one of the most consistently ethical and thoughtful characters on the show for four full seasons, is now a total idiot and a speed freak?

Sorry, the Red storyline just isn’t working for me this season.

1. “Snape Was a Slytherin”

You might not believe this, but the Harry Potter books are actually extremely popular in prison (you basically cannot find them in the library because they are always checked out).

I actually had a friend who sent me the set and I loaned them out liberally (I had already read them). I was very lucky to have friends who sent me a huge number of books (my library was probably better than the actual library and I shared liberally).

As crazy as it sounds, I remember several times sitting around with other inmates talking about all the happenings at Hogwarts. I am myself a pretty big fan of Harry Potter, which maybe should be embarrassing, but it really isn’t (J.K. Rowling wrote a great series of books).