We don’t typically post motorcycle news, but this is pretty amazing stuff.

Warning: this is also the gorriest story we’ve had on here since someone tried to decapitate a motorcyclist in Toronto, Canada.

A Brazilian man with an eleven-inch knife lodged in his head was nonetheless able to ride his motorcycle to the hospital. Juacela Nunes was stabbed at a gathering when somebody lodged an eleven-inch blade in his head. Nunes was in dire need of assistance however the nearest hospital was over 60 miles away. Apparently the only logical thing to do was jump on his motorcycle and begin driving to the hospital with the knife protruding of his skull the whole ride. That’s just about the one legitimate argument for not wearing a motorcycle helmet while riding that might stand up in court.

We don’t know hospitals are run in Brazil, however when you casually stroll in the emergency room and check in with the receptionist with a knife in your head, we hope that you get to jump to the front of the waiting list.

Thankfully, the 11″ blade didn’t pierce his eyes or harm his sight so he could see where he was riding… you know, so as to not put himself at any greater danger or anything. So, knife in head Nunes managed to make it to the closest hospital after two hours of riding. While the doctors fastidiously removed the blade from his skull, they found that Nunes had additionally suffered a number of wounds to his chest and throat as a result of the assualt. At the hospital, Nunes told police he doesn’t remember being stabbed (yeah, sure, he “fell on some stairs”, right?). Get this, he also told police that he neither fainted or lost consciousness.

Juacela Nunes is a certifed bad ass. Have we finally found someone able to defeat Chuck Norris? Possibly. Doctors expect Nunes will make a full recovery. As if this man’s story isn’t already over the top, he isn’t expected to have any long term side effects from the assault. His wife calls it a miracle.

Our advice: guys, if you go to a party, and get stabbed in the head, and the chest, and the throat, and have to ride yourself for two hours to the hospital in that condition, it’s time you find some new friends.