Heard you missed me, I’m back! And I’m doing so with Diamond Dave and his first full length solo album Eat Em And Smile, released July 7, 1986 on Warner Bros Records. Made shortly after Dave’s departure from the Mighty Van Halen, the album was produced by Van Halen’s producer Ted Templeman and the band consists of Steve Vai on guitar, Billy Sheehan on bass, and Greg Bisonette on drums. So how does the record turn out? Let’s kick things off with…….

1. “Yankee Rose” (David Lee Roth/Steve Vai):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAaixxSn_Lg

Yankee Rose, the first single off this album written about the Statue of Liberty, which was being renovated at the time.

Man, the way the song is kicked off, Sheehan and Bissonette set such a dirty groove. And Vai is just a freak of nature, a motherfucker on the guitar. And great performance by Dave, with an excellent presence and attitude, not to mention a great structure. THIS is one of the greatest Van Halen songs that never was, and it’s just a great song to kick off the album.

2. “Shyboy” (Billy Sheehan):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENEkPpdz2MQ

Shyboy, which Billy Sheehan wrote with his former band Thrasher.

EDIT: It was actually Talas where Sheehan wrote this song.

This is pure speed metal goodness, very Van Halen like, yet very much it’s own thing. Seriously, you got the smoking guitar work of Mr. Vai, such a ripping bassline by Mr. Sheehan. I will say this: I LOVE Michael Anthony, excellent harmony singer, very underrated bassist (seriously: Romeo Delight), and very much missed from the current Van Halen. That being said, I can’t see him doing this song, Billy Sheehan may be a wackjob Scientologist but goddamn that man is a mighty bassist. Too bad he was in Mr. Big. But nonetheless, this is such a slamming song in which the band is just killing it.

3. “I’m Easy” (Thomas Price/William Field):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hhJ-4bQ-tY

I’m Easy, which is a cover of a song by singer Billy Field from his 1981 solo effort Bad Habits. I’ve actually only just now heard the original, and I have to say, I really dig that tune. Anyway, this is one of two lounge tunes on the album as a nod to the Crazy From The Heat EP that came out a year later.

I really love the way this song combines the hard rock sound with the big band, it works really well and has it’s own distinct flavor compared to the original, which Van Halen were great at, forget whatever Eddie says or people going “Diver Down has covers, eww, I can’t like it then.” Anyway, it’s a fun song to mix it up.

4. “Ladies’ Night In Buffalo?” (Roth/Vai):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aslM8-7JaPA

Ladies’ Night In Buffalo?, such a dirty, sleazy, funky tune. First off, you got that slow burning groove. Vai’s guitar work goes between grooving with the rhythm section, and he also manages to create so much atmosphere throughout the track when combined with . The band as a whole is super tight on this track, whereas Van Halen tended to be looser and more organic by comparison. As far as the whole Eddie vs Vai thing goes, I do prefer Eddie, but really I go with what the great Frank Zappa said when an interviewer asked him about him compared to Vai-“there’s things I’m good at and then things he’s good at. We’re different players- not better, not worse, different.”

Also, let’s talk about Dave’s performance on here. Seriously it is a great vocal, it has attitude, it has feeling, it has charisma, and those are things that Sammy Hagar does not have, has never had, and will never have. Seriously, let’s just this out of the way: fuck Sammy Hagar*.

Best song on the album, certainly my favorite off the record, what an absolute gem of a song.

5. “Goin’ Crazy!” (Roth/Vai):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmCU_QtSzWI

Goin’ Crazy, the second single if Wikipedia is anything to go by. The song was going to be the theme song to a movie Dave was planning to make around the time he left Van Halen

Probably the most poppy song off the album, certainly the most keyboard heavy song on the album, with keys by Jesse Harms who I’m sure has an incredi-oh. ohhhhhhh. This album is easily the best thing I can see on his resume. The keys I am not a huge fan of but they’re mainly kept in check and if you can overlook the keys, there’s a really good song in here- good structure, great hooks, strong melody, along with solid performances by all involved.

Overall, a strong tune and a good choice for a single.

6. “Tobacco Road” (John D. Loudermilk):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBPdJwibh6A

Tobacco Road, an old John D. Loudermilk tune.

The is a cool kind of bluesy tune, but done DLR Band style. Once again, Vai is a motherfucker on the six string, with some really sweet licks. Complimenting him is Sheehan and Bissonette providing a muscular rhythm, while Dave sells the song with a cool, cocky attitude. Then there is the blistering solo by Vai. All in all, you have yet another highlight of the album.

7. “Elephant Gun” (Roth/Vai):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0YMmDskGXY

Elephant Gun, what a blistering tune. Straight ahead machine gun riffing, some excellent guitar work from Vai, stellar bass work from Sheehan, both delivering some stellar fills throughout the track. Dave is solid as well, and you know what, Bissonette is often the forgotten one from this band but he was a great drummer, absolutely on point at all times.

Goddamn it is a ripping song with some decent of Vai and Sheehan’s best work.

8. “Big Trouble” (Roth/Vai):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PU2kVCC-fKw

Big Trouble, with some really brilliant guitar work from Vai that very much recalls Zappa. And then you got that dirty groove from Sheehan and Bisonette. It’s definitely one of the poppier songs on the album but it’s done quite well. The song is dirty, stinky, awesome tune.

9. “Bump And Grind” (Roth/Vai):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EPDJQpKToYE

Bump And Grind, a good down and dirty rocker that once again is very much in the vein of Van Halen. Good riffage by Vai, along with a driving groove by Sheehan and Bisonette, while Dave does his cool cocky thing. It’s kind of fillerish, kind of Van Halen by the numbers but it’s still good.

10. “That’s Life” (Dean Thompson/Kelly Gordon):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Lf6ao8cvyoU

We close the album with a cover of the Frank Sinatra tune. This song is essentially a tongue in cheek reference to the Van Halen split.

Overall, I dig this tune, Dave did a good job with this song, giving the track a sort of cool and carefree vibe with a sense of hope to it. The original by Sinatra is pretty much untouchable but this gets a second place trophy, I enjoy it.

And that is Eat Em And Smile. Be sure to comment, like, subscribe, and recommend to your friends, foes, and people who like music.

*And yes I know Eddie is also to blame for Van Hagar so shut your fucking cakehole.