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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill’s 12:30 Report: Trump, Bloomberg trade insults on Twitter | Trump hits back at John Kelly John Francis KellyMORE over criticism | Why Senate Dems are worried about Sanders's rise | Buttigieg, Klobuchar face uphill battle for black, Latino voters | Hope Hicks Hope Charlotte HicksSenate intel leaders said Trump associates may have presented misleading testimony during Russia probe: report Cuomo turned down Trump invitation to participate in April press briefing: report Trump shakes up White House communications team MORE returning to the White House | Former US attorney who oversaw Mueller cases resigns | Senate to vote on curbing Trump's Iran war powers | Eight senators expected to side with Dems

NEWS THIS MORNING

Can you imagine a Donald Trump-Michael Bloomberg Michael BloombergTop Democratic super PAC launches Florida ad blitz after Bloomberg donation The Hill's 12:30 Report - Presented by Facebook - Latest with the COVID-19 relief bill negotiations The Memo: 2020 is all about winning Florida MORE general election? CAN YOU IMAGINE?:

President Trump Donald John TrumpHR McMaster says president's policy to withdraw troops from Afghanistan is 'unwise' Cast of 'Parks and Rec' reunite for virtual town hall to address Wisconsin voters Biden says Trump should step down over coronavirus response MORE repeatedly slammed White House hopeful former New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg on Twitter this morning. http://bit.ly/2UPcIpe

Trump tweeted: “Mini Mike Bloomberg is a LOSER who has money but can’t debate and has zero presence, you will see. He reminds me of a tiny version of Jeb ‘Low Energy’ Bush, but Jeb has more political skill and has treated the Black community much better than Mini!” http://bit.ly/3bK8pSq

Annnnd this: “Mini Mike is a 5’4” mass of dead energy who does not want to be on the debate stage with these professional politicians. No boxes please. He hates Crazy Bernie and will, with enough money, possibly stop him. Bernie’s people will go nuts!” http://bit.ly/2SKVoPN

^ HEY! 5’ 4” is a PERFECTLY REASONABLE height! Don’t make things personal for me!

AND OBVIOUSLY, BLOOMBERG COULDN’T ~NOT~ TAKE THE BAIT:

Bloomberg tweeted back, “.@realDonaldTrump — we know many of the same people in NY. Behind your back they laugh at you & call you a carnival barking clown. They know you inherited a fortune & squandered it with stupid deals and incompetence. I have the record & the resources to defeat you. And I will.” http://bit.ly/2SFmQhW

It’s Thursday. I’m Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what’s coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com — and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

Did someone forward this to you? Want your own copy? Sign up here to receive The Hill's 12:30 Report in your inbox daily: http://bit.ly/2kjMNnn

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

It’s all uphill from here, Pete and Amy:

Via The Hill’s Rafael Bernal and Amie Parnes, “Democratic candidates Pete Buttigieg Pete ButtigiegBogeymen of the far left deserve a place in any Biden administration Overnight Defense: Woodward book causes new firestorm | Book says Trump lashed out at generals, told Woodward about secret weapons system | US withdrawing thousands of troops from Iraq A socially and environmentally just way to fight climate change MORE and Amy Klobuchar Amy KlobucharEPA delivers win for ethanol industry angered by waivers to refiners It's time for newspapers to stop endorsing presidential candidates Biden marks anniversary of the Violence Against Women Act, knocks Trump and McConnell MORE, fresh off their strong showings in New Hampshire and Iowa, now face the uphill battle of winning over black and Latino voters in a short amount of time.” http://bit.ly/2tSWVuz

How so: “The former South Bend, Ind., mayor and Minnesota senator have shown their brand of moderate Midwestern politics carries traction with white liberal voters, but they will need to fine tune that message in Nevada and South Carolina before the onslaught of Super Tuesday.”

How this could play out: http://bit.ly/2tSWVuz

Senate Democrats are biting their tongues about Bernie Sanders Bernie SandersMcConnell accuses Democrats of sowing division by 'downplaying progress' on election security The Hill's Campaign Report: Arizona shifts towards Biden | Biden prepares for drive-in town hall | New Biden ad targets Latino voters Why Democrats must confront extreme left wing incitement to violence MORE:

Via The Hill’s Alexander Bolton, “Senate Democrats are feeling queasy about their party’s presidential primary after Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) seized front-runner status by winning the New Hampshire primary, while former Vice President Joe Biden Joe BidenCast of 'Parks and Rec' reunite for virtual town hall to address Wisconsin voters Biden says Trump should step down over coronavirus response Biden tells CNN town hall that he has benefited from white privilege MORE stumbled to a fifth-place finish.” http://bit.ly/2wfXLT5



Keeping the criticism private: “Democratic senators have been careful not to criticize Sanders publicly, fearing that it could undermine party unity heading into the November general election, which they view as a must-win contest.”

Why Democrats are worried: “But they have serious questions about the electability of their self-described democratic socialist colleague and the problems he may create down-ballot for vulnerable Senate candidates.”

^ For example: “Several of Sanders’s signature proposals, such as ‘Medicare for All,’ tuition-free college, cancelling student debt and the sweeping Green New Deal, don’t even have support from a majority of Democratic senators.”

Interesting throwback from before the Bern was felt:

Flashback: After announcing his run for president in 2015, @BernieSanders walked down the street with an entourage of 1. pic.twitter.com/lnnEMddmZP — Steven Dennis (@StevenTDennis) February 13, 2020

IN THE WHITE HOUSE

Announced this morning -- Have some Hope:

Via The Hill's Morgan Chalfant, President Trump's former communications director Hope Hicks is returning to the White House as a counselor. http://bit.ly/2tYjuhC

Hicks's new role: She will work in the office of Trump son-in-law and senior adviser Jared Kushner Jared Corey KushnerAbraham Accords: New hope for peace in Middle East Tenants in Kushner building file lawsuit alleging dangerous living conditions Trump hosts Israel, UAE, Bahrain for historic signing MORE.

It's the campaign season (the campaign season!), with the whoop-de-do and hickory dock:

#KAGA hats in Oval Office (Pres. Trump meeting yesterday with Ecuador President Lenin Moreno) pic.twitter.com/sLSEX4ESw4 — Howard Mortman (@HowardMortman) February 13, 2020

Yanked:

Via CNN's Kaitlan Collins, former U.S. Attorney Jessie Liu has left the Treasury Department after her nomination to a top job at the Treasury was withdrawn. https://cnn.it/2SmtH0G

Reasoning: "While head of the US Attorney's Office in Washington, Liu inherited many of the major ongoing cases from Robert Mueller Robert (Bob) MuellerCNN's Toobin warns McCabe is in 'perilous condition' with emboldened Trump CNN anchor rips Trump over Stone while evoking Clinton-Lynch tarmac meeting The Hill's 12:30 Report: New Hampshire fallout MORE's special counsel investigation and was also handling the politically charged case of former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe, a frequent target of Trump's ire who is also a CNN contributor. Trump's decision to abruptly withdraw her nomination was directly tied to her former job."

Late this morning -- Miss it, John Kelly?:

President Trump tore into his former chief of staff, John Kelly, who openly criticized the president. http://bit.ly/39ACkur

He tweeted: "When I terminated John Kelly, which I couldn't do fast enough, he knew full well that he was way over his head. Being Chief of Staff just wasn't for him. He came in with a bang, went out with a whimper, but like so many X's, he misses the action & just can't keep his mouth shut ... which he actually has a military and legal obligation to do. His incredible wife, Karen, who I have a lot of respect for, once pulled me aside & said strongly that 'John respects you greatly. When we are no longer here, he will only speak well of you.' Wrong!"

IN CONGRESS

Happening today -- Eight's a crowd:

Today, the Senate is voting a bipartisan resolution to limit President Trump's power to take military action against Iran. http://bit.ly/2HmXFeM

Where things get tricky: As many as eight Republicans may vote with Democrats to limit Trump's ability to take military action.

Who: "They are Sens. Mike Lee Michael (Mike) Shumway LeeMcConnell shores up GOP support for coronavirus package McConnell tries to unify GOP Davis: The Hall of Shame for GOP senators who remain silent on Donald Trump MORE (Utah), Rand Paul Randal (Rand) Howard PaulSecond GOP senator to quarantine after exposure to coronavirus GOP senator to quarantine after coronavirus exposure The Hill's Morning Report - Sponsored by National Industries for the Blind - Trump seeks to flip 'Rage' narrative; Dems block COVID-19 bill MORE (Ky.), Susan Collins Susan Margaret CollinsThe Hill's Campaign Report: Biden asks if public can trust vaccine from Trump ahead of Election Day | Oklahoma health officials raised red flags before Trump rally Gideon leads Collins by 12 points in Maine Senate race: poll Senate leaders quash talk of rank-and-file COVID-19 deal MORE (Maine), Todd Young (Ind.), Jerry Moran Gerald (Jerry) MoranLobbying world This World Suicide Prevention Day, let's recommit to protecting the lives of our veterans Hillicon Valley: Zuckerberg acknowledges failure to take down Kenosha military group despite warnings | Election officials push back against concerns over mail-in voting, drop boxes MORE (Kan.), Lamar Alexander Andrew (Lamar) Lamar AlexanderTrump health officials grilled over reports of politics in COVID-19 response Now is the time to renew our focus on students and their futures CDC says asymptomatic people don't need testing, draws criticism from experts MORE (Tenn.), Bill Cassidy William (Bill) Morgan CassidyCoushatta tribe begins long road to recovery after Hurricane Laura Senators offer disaster tax relief bill Bottom line MORE (La.) and Lisa Murkowski (Alaska).

The Senate's timing today: http://bit.ly/2SKbmcG

NOTABLE TWEETS

Bahahaha:

Luna is the three-year-old daughter of Chrissy Teigen and John Legend.

"luna you still holding the hamster?" "ummmm one sec let me check" ahhhhhkjdvjnsdjkvnsdlkfsdf — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 13, 2020

ON TAP

The House and Senate are in. President Trump is in Washington, D.C. Vice President Pence is in South Carolina.

9:30 a.m. EST: Vice President Pence leaves for West Columbia, S.C.

10:30 – 11:30 a.m. EST: First and last votes in the House. The House's full schedule today: http://bit.ly/2SlIQiG

1:30 p.m. EST: Vice President Pence speaks at a Trump Victory luncheon in West Columbia.

1:45 p.m. EST: Roll call vote in the Senate. The Senate's full schedule today: http://bit.ly/2SKbmcG

3 p.m. EST: President Trump meets with New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D).

6:05 p.m. EST: Vice President Pence speaks at the Citadel Republican Society Patriot Dinner.

8:20 p.m. EST: Vice President Pence gets back to Washington, D.C.

Feb. 20: The Hill is hosting an event, "Building the Dream" in Charlotte, N.C. Details and how to RSVP: http://bit.ly/2OJ0A5o

Feb. 26: The Hill is hosting an event, "America's Opioid Epidemic: Lessons Learned & A Way Forward" in Washington, D.C. Details and how to RSVP: http://bit.ly/2SAIQKF

WHAT TO WATCH

4:20 p.m. EST: Vice President Pence speaks to the South Carolina Corps of Cadets in Charleston, S.C. Livestream: http://bit.ly/37oYPRB

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Cheddar Day.

And because you made it this far, here's a woman who is completely over the snow: http://bit.ly/39I6hsD

I get it, Judy. I get it.