Aamir Khan has found support from the most unexpected quarters: PM Narendra Modi said he fully agrees and empathizes with Aamir’s sentiments about the country becoming unlivable and that he himself prefers flying away to foreign shores every other day to escape its rising intolerance.

PM Modi’s stunning admission has come as a major blow to the liberals who had already prepared five days worth of inventory assailing Modi for the climate of intolerance. Now they will have to quickly rewrite the scripts, slamming the PM instead for shirking responsibility when the country is reeling under a crisis of unprecedented proportions.

“Things were quite pleasant initially when I assumed charge as the Prime Minister,” the PM said, getting into mann ki baat mode as the baggage handlers were loading his suitcase into Air India One for his jaunt to some island in Oceania. “The country was still recovering from what had just happened. No one was criticizing me, no one was raising any question, which gave me a lot of confidence and I made a couple of extra promises to people.”

“But one day, while I was sitting on a park bench,” Modi continued, “reading ‘101 Manmohan Singh jokes’ with a reassuring smile, someone called me ‘Feku’ in a hushed tone. I turned back but couldn’t see anyone.”

“Later when I logged into Twitter to share a Rahul Gandhi cartoon, I realized that the term had spread like wildfire on the net. It was annoying. I mean, what’s the point of having a 56-inch chest if you cannot use it anywhere other than in your speeches? Unfortunately, unless one is Ra.One, it would be really difficult to enter the virtual world and beat up people. So, I decided to stay out of the argument and left for Brazil. Yes, FIFA World Cup was going on during that time and I watched a couple of matches as well. But when I came back, I noticed that people had coined more terms like ‘suit boot ki sarkar’ to troll me, and I immediately left for America.”

“Since then, whenever I come to India, I realize that I am held responsible for everything including kids not scoring enough marks in their exams to domestic squabbles. I too am a refugee now. Why, I have now visited as many countries as Pratibha tai. I don’t use Twitter anymore, man. I have given the ID and password to my driver who logs into my account occasionally to wish everyone on Diwali and New Year.”

When The UnReal Times asked Mr. Modi who would reassure the citizens of the country that everything is under control whenever he runs away, pat came the reply: “Chetan Bhagat and Anupam Kher. They have taken it upon themselves to prove something that we are not fully aware of.”

(Reported by Flying Table-fan)