Much as we’d like to totally ignore the Skoda Kodiaq vRS’s official reveal – purely in protest at what must be one of the most drawn-out teaser campaigns in history – we’re not going to, because Britain loves a hot Skoda. And besides, there’s every chance this thing could be pretty good. The regular Kodiaq is a two-time Top Gear award winner, don’t forget…

Welcome, then, to a quick-ish diesel SUV its maker claims holds the record for the fastest seven-seater ever to lap the Nürburgring, with a time of 9m29.84s. This is thanks to a 237bhp, 369lb ft 2.0-litre turbodiesel engine, which makes the Kodiaq vRS the most powerful diesel Skoda ever made. A seven-speed DSG supplies power to all four wheels, giving 0-62mph in 7 seconds flat and a top speed of 138mph.

Four-cylinder diesel engines aren’t known for sounding especially sporty, so Skoda’s fitted a sound-symposer that pipes exciting noises in through the speakers. These noises get progressively more exciting, we’re told, as you ramp up through the DCC modes. There are Eco, Normal, Comfort and Sport options – each with their own suspension and steering set-ups. Or if you want to mix and match, there’s a configurable Individual mode.

Skoda doesn’t specify what, if anything, it’s done to the chassis/suspension in going from regular Kodiaq to vRS. We hope more than a cursory tweak, because good as the normal car is, it’s not in the least bit sporting.

Naturally there are vRS badges aplenty, a sporty bodykit and large 20-inch alloy wheels (masking 17-inch brakes). Iniside it’s awash with Alcantara, much bolstering and red stitching. Because SPORT.

The vRS is making its debut at this week’s Paris Motor Show. Excited?