WASHINGTON, DC—Trey Gowdy, the US Representative from South Carolina’s 4th District, is still upset that a small child’s prank cost him the use of his house elf, Dobby. Dobby, who had been in the service of the Gowdy household for generations, believed Gowdy had gifted him with a sock.

House elves are automatically freed from indentured servitude once their master furnishes them with clothing.

Though house elves have seemingly unlimited magical powers, they are apparently easily hoodwinked by small children. The child, who would not be named by Gowdy, had supplied his own sock, hiding it in a book that Gowdy had asked Dobby to return to the family library. It was Dobby’s discovery of this sock that initiated the debacle.

Gowdy, whose last name originates from the Latin phrase meaning “Bad Faith”, was highly upset by the trickery. “The loss of my house elf doesn’t matter so much now here in Congress where I have numerous aides and pages at my disposal,” Gowdy complained, “but what am I supposed to do after my tenure ends and I return to my country estate in South Carolina?”

At press time, it was reported that Gowdy was planning a motion to repeal the Thirteenth Amendment of the US Constitution.