New More Biblical Lunchables Include Five Loaves, Two Fish

U.S.—In a press release Thursday, the Oscar Mayer Company confirmed it is releasing a new line of more biblical Lunchables with five loaves and two fish.

The meals will contain two authentic fish from the Sea of Galilee and five rustic, genuine-looking, ancient Hebrew loaves of bread.

"Your kids can be a great witness to their classmates with our new Lunchables Biblicals," said a representative. "When your son or daughter busts out these authentic loaves and fish, others will know they are true believers in God's Word."

"And these are great for sharing with others," they added, also claiming these meals are perfect for if you went out into the middle of the desert to hear your favorite rabbi only to find yourself starving a few hours later.

Lunchables reps say they can't guarantee the meals will be able to feed a whole 5,000, but they wouldn't rule it out. "Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, just like it says in the Bible."

The Lunchables Biblicals line will also include a Communion flavor, which will have a juice box and some tiny cracker pellets.

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