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Things look dire, but 2018 could be the ‘year of the woman’

America looks set to confirm Brett Kavanaugh, a man who seems to think birth control is an “abortion-inducing drug”, as a supreme court justice. It is, to say the least, terrifying. But there is some good news amid this patriarchal hellscape: a new analysis by NBC News predicts that the midterms could see more than 100 women elected to the House for the first time in history.

NBC’s race-by-race analysis predicts that between 30 and 40 new women will enter the House next year. This is way over the current record of 24, which was set in 1992. Known as the “year of the woman”, the surge of new women elected was largely attributed to Anita Hill’s 1991 testimony during Clarence Thomas’s confirmation for the supreme court.

Donald Trump’s victory in 2016 and the growing #MeToo movement have inspired a historic number of women to run for office, many as first-time candidates. And they haven’t just been running – they’ve been winning, too. This week Ayanna Pressley beat Michael Capuano, a 10-term Democrat, and will become the first African American woman to represent Massachusetts in Congress. Pressley’s win followed Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s victory over Joe Crowley in New York.

Ayanna Pressley ousts 10-term Massachusetts Democrat in latest primary upset Read more

What’s interesting, if not exactly surprising, about the increase in female candidates, is that they’re largely Democrats. NBC reports that of the 254 non-incumbent Democratic nominees for the House, 50% are women, compared with 18% of Republicans. What’s more, the number of Republican women in the House is set to decline. This is despite the fact that the GOP is keen to inform us that they have binders full of women. Indeed, during the confirmation hearings this week Kavanaugh stressed that he knows a few women himself, and has even hired a few!

None of your monkeysplaining, please

In other completely un-related news, a new study has found female monkeys prioritize bonds with other females and dismiss male monkeys as untrustworthy. They’re even less likely to listen to the male monkey on the rare occasion that the guy happens to be right. Professor Andrew Whiten, of the School of Psychology and Neuroscience at St Andrews, explained: “[The females] may be less inclined to copy males, who are likely to have less reliable local knowledge.”

PSA: please don’t put rose quartz eggs up your vagina

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop, purveyor of beautiful nonsense, is paying $145,000 to settle a consumer protection lawsuit about vaginal eggs. Basically, Goop was selling eggs made out of jade and rose quartz which it promised increased your sexual energy and toned your vagina muscles. (Spoiler alert: they didn’t.)

Women are going to the poles

Well, the north pole, to be exact. If you’re looking for some weekend reading that has nothing to do with the midterms, this Wired article about an all-female trek to the north pole is fascinating. Basically, a group of women from Europe and the Middle East are freezing their tits off, so to speak, in the name of science. While the women trek, scientists are measuring their vitals to learn about the effects of cold temperatures on the female body. I reckon they could have just used an aggressively air-conditioned office as a testing ground and saved themselves a lot of walking.

Is applying makeup on public transportation a war crime?

Some men appear to think so. A recent BBC investigation into the subject contains hilarious quotes from the likes of Michael, 59, who finds the sight of a woman applying makeup on the train so egregious he is often forced to change carriages. Frankly, I think anyone who can put on eyeliner in a moving vehicle should be awarded a MacArthur “genius” grant. I have a hard enough time applying makeup in my own bathroom. It truly is an art.

Please, brands, enough with the faux fempowerment

Sex sells, they used to say in advertising. Now, apparently, it is gender empowerment that sells. It seems like every brand these days is keen to flaunt their (often faux) feminist credentials in their ads. The latest example of brands treating feminism as some kind of trend is Harvey Nichols, a posh department store in London. Remember when Johnnie Walker switched its name to Jane Walker earlier this year? Well, Harvey Nichols decided to nick their idea and are rebranding as Holly Nichols for September. Because, feminism. Not only is this stunt derivative but it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Harvey Nichols was co-founded Anne Harvey and James Nichols. So the rebrand to Holly Nichols erases a real woman from the store’s history and replaces her with a fictional woman. Holly ridiculous, I reckon.