As sure as water is wet and as sure as there will always be an England, Elton John will always hate Madonna.

The two stars’ longtime feud was revived last night when John appeared in an interview with Australia’s Channel 7, where he proceeded to lob a bevy of nasty insults at his rival.

“She’s such a nightmare” John said of Madge. “Her career is over, I can tell you that. Her tour has been a disaster and it couldn’t happen to a bigger c—.”

But you better believe Sir Elton wasn’t done there: “And she looks like a f—ing fairground stripper.” Hey-O! Music Mix has never been to a fairground that had strippers, but we’ll go ahead and assume that that was an insult.

If you’re wondering why John’s letting loose on Madonna, he did drop a big hint: “She’s been so horrible to Gaga,” he said, referring of course to Lady Gaga — his son Zachary’s godmother.

But John wasn’t so blinded by hatred that he couldn’t offer some constructive criticism. “If Madonna had any common sense, she would have made a record like Ray of Light, stayed away from the dance stuff, and just been a great pop singer and made great pop records, which she does brilliantly.”

Never before have Elton John and Deadmau5 been so in line with each other.