John tells me it's Bathtub Party Day, and John ALSO tells me this is the perfect opportunity to remind you of our second-ever censored Cake Wreck, posted several Internet ice ages ago back in 2008.

SO...

Who's ready for some life-sized, potentially-nightmare-inducing, definitely traumatizing, yet fortuitously-censored CAKE? Hmm?

Settle down, now, all of you; there's enough here for everyone.

And no, you CAN'T all split that little birthday cake; then who would eat the legs? The belly? The.. er...tracts of land?

More importantly, who would peel off the towel and answer that one burning question in all our minds:

...which would be worse, eyes or no eyes?

(John would like me to point out that this cake has teeth. There are so many things wrong with that statement, I don't even know where to begin.)

What's that? You want another angle?

SAY NO MORE.

We established last time that "Uprise" is either a really bad attempt at "surprise," the reaction your lunch has to seeing this cake (Hamilton Time: RISE UP!), or possibly the name of the birthing center where this was served. Personally I'm rooting for reason #2.

I actually had this submitted twice, by both Gina & Jeanette E, so thanks for that, ladies. I think it's safe to say none of us will ever bathe with our birthday cakes the same way ever again.

SPECIAL BONUS CONTENT:

Q: You know what the best part of a life-sized nekkid lady cake is?

A: The leftovers.

Note from john (thoJ): By popular request, here's a link to the uncensored picture.

*****

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