One of the prime targets for his daily bellyaching is former FBI director Robert Mueller's investigation into a) Russia's interference of the 2016 U.S. presidential election, and b) whether or not Trump's team did some shady shit with Russian officials. And despite the fact that this sordid tale is all over every (non-FOX) news station these days, the press has somehow neglected to tell you the most weird-ass details. We're talking about gonzo crap like how ...

When he isn't busy golfing, going to bat for Neo-Nazis, or bragging about how his largesse allows him to sexually assault women, Donald Trump spends his days complaining about how hard it is to be a billionaire president -- in private, on Twitter, in front of thousands of random Boy Scouts, and so forth.

5 Part Of The Evidence Against Trump Is A Corny Russian Pop Music Video

You probably won't be too surprised to hear that Donald Trump wound up making a cameo in a Russian music video a few years back. After all, he's squeezed his sebaceous mane into a Gremlins movie, a Sex And The City episode, and dozens of other movies and shows. He's like Stan Lee, if Stan Lee were a moldering batch of toilet pruno who had a racist fairy godmother.

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

The video in question, 2013's "In Another Life" by Russian pop singer Emin Agalarov, featured Trump at the very end, blurting out his "You're fired!" catchphrase from The Apprentice (and, you know, the White House).

The video also features gratuitous cameos from Miss Universe contestants, but Trump's connection to Agalarov goes way deeper than a shared love of butts. Emin's dad Aras is a stupid-rich real-estate developer with close ties to Vladimir Putin -- he is often referred to as the "Donald Trump of Russia" (but we thought Donald Trump was the Donald Trump of Russia?). The two billionaires became buds after Trump's Miss Universe pageant was hosted by an Agalarov-owned venue in Russia. Trump even implied that the two men had brokered an agreement on a Trump Tower in Moscow, though zero evidence exists that such a deal was ever made.

Donald Trump/Twitter

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

"I'll pencil you in, between 'Screaming' and 'Diarrhea.' "

The pop-star son then nestled himself in the good graces of Trump even more, playing concerts for him, hosting him in the aforementioned music video ... and, oh yeah, setting up private meetings with Kremlin-associated Russian lawyers and Donald Trump, Jr., with the promise of some good dirt on Trump's then-political opponent, Hillary Clinton. (You may have heard about that little incident if you've turned on a TV at all during the past month.)

So this crap-sack club-bumping song is just one little tidbit in the investigation trying to prove some canoodling between two camps who amateurishly shat out more unintentional evidence than any guilty people ever. And given Emin's passion projects, who knows how deep this rabbit hole goes?