I’M BACK! Gem is doing great again, we just finished her last round of antibiotic and I’m looking forward to father’s day! Speaking of which I would like to give a shout out to my dad and my father in law.

My dad doesn’t think he’s that great. See for a while my dad and I were always butting heads. He was mean and short tempered and I was rude, arrogant, and just as mean and short tempered. As time went on and I grew up, things pulled a complete 180. I used to hate interacting with my dad because it would always end in a shouting match. But ever since college and me wrenching my head from the caverns of my anus I have absolutely nothing but fond memories of the guy. I never would have guessed that my dad would become a friend of mine but that’s exactly what he is. I talk to him about dumb things, we play off each other’s sense of humor, and he is still teaching me things to this day. Any rough patch we went through as I was growing up was just normal teenage angst and growing up stuff and the more I look back on it the more I realize I wouldn’t have become who I am today without my dad. And I am so very proud of that. He has one of the biggest hearts and it’s not just because of all the pierogies. He shoulders so much and doesn’t complain about it and I honestly hope that I am half the man my father is for my own daughter. I know I won’t be perfect, but neither was he and in my opinion things couldn’t have turned out better. You made the right choices dad. Some were tough, some made me hate you at the time but I’m still here, I’m still your son, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

Second of all is my father in law. You know, I used to be scared of the guy and I blame TV. I always thought that the father of whoever you’re dating was supposed to be just itching for the chance to string you up. And I was dating his YOUNGEST daughter too! How could the guy NOT hate me? But you know what, over the past few years I’ve gotten to know him pretty well and he has more than accepted me into his family. I mean, my wife and I didn’t have the most stable relationship when we were dating, mainly due to the aforementioned head-anus lodging conundrum, and I broke up with her at least twice before. But this guy knew that, he knew me when I was arrogant, angry, and basically a father’s worst nightmare but he has taken me under his wing and treated me like his own son. I am so lucky because I really do have two dads and not in the Neil Patrick Harris’s kids way. I mean, every other week he LOOKS FORWARD to playing video games with me, and we talk about zombies and stuff and crack dumb poop humor and its nothing like I thought a relationship with my wife’s father would be. Television taught me that my father in law would always be grumpy, disapproving, and I would constantly be saying things like “Oh boy look at this dumb pair of shoes! What kind of idiot would wear these?” and then Uh-oh, guess who has a pair of them on his feet? Then the camera would wipe and I’d be like “Well you know, know that I look at them on such a dignified man they really do remind me of the kind of shoes a duke would wear!” “Yeah, the Duke of Kicking Your Essex!” he’d reply. Then the audience would laugh and Chuck Lorre would cash another paycheck. But despite all my efforts to make that our relationship, he’s been just the nicest, most understanding, forgiving, and accepting father in law that I surely don’t deserve.

Both of you are amazing men and I hope I will grow up to be half of the men you are. Maybe like a freak experiment! “Negative! Subject Brundle and subject Dad have been merged into Brundledad!” “Be afraid! Be very afraid!”

Seriously though, I love you guys.

But don’t make it weird.