Coming back home after hours of thinking and coming to this decision was the last thing Elsa wanted to do. But she did it with a heavy heart. It was almost evening, the sun slowly going down. The silence was eerie in her home, crimson light dripping through the window. But no matter how the sun shined, the beauty was lost on her. To her, everything was black.

Elsa was exhausted. Completely traumatized. Humiliated. Right now, she needed to be strong, however empty she felt. However disgusted she was with herself. She had a chance for redemption in her relationship with Anna - only to be ruined by her own selfishness.

But how different would everything be if she hadn't gone to Hans? She didn't dare answer that because the truth was… perhaps, it would only be just as bad, if not, worse.

And being at home was suffocating enough. Things changed around the apartment. Her place was a bit messy. She stared into the living room. The television was on. On the table, there was a small piece of paper - a check - with Anna's signature. A yellow sticky note behind it read, 'for you'. Elsa sighed, pressing her fingers against the bridge of her nose, dropping her hand to her side with the check in her palm. "Damn it..."

At least Anna seemed to have gotten out of her room for once. There were dirty plates and a half empty glass of orange juice on the kitchen counter. Good, she ate something. The silence was suffocating, but instead of cringing from it, Elsa welcomed it. She grabbed the plates and put them in the sink.

She didn't move from her spot. Her head dipped low, hands resting on the edge of the sink.

The defeat swallowed her… and she had let it. Elsa didn't realize how much she had hurt Anna - didn't realize that all this was her own doing. And she would keep telling herself that it was her fault. Even if it wasn't, how could Elsa ever let it happen?

She was a coward. Running away when she when things become unfamiliar. When she was out of her comfort zone. Hans was right. He was a bastard, but he was right.

While everyone else thought she was perfect, everything that Elsa knew she was… did not fit that image. Hurting people was all she seemed to do - despite her caring heart. Only caring in all the wrong places. It was the truth, really. And while it was never her intention, some things could never change. No matter how much of herself she willingly sacrificed in pursuit of it.

Elsa sniffled, nodding in acceptance. She wiped those abandoned tears off her face. She couldn't stand here the whole time. Someone was waiting for her. Someone needed her. Quietly, she led herself towards the only room where Anna could be.

With the door closed, Elsa assumed that she was still sleeping. She hesitated to grab the doorknob. If she could delay any talking, it'd be all the better. She didn't want Anna to know what happened, but this was the only way to lessen the hurt. The only way to break themselves free.

When she opened the door, she sighed in relief to see Anna asleep.

What am I scared of?

Elsa sat down on the side of the bed and ran her fingers through Anna's hair. Her soft freckled cheek.

The blonde's eyebrows knitted together. This was the first time she'd observed Anna's features so closely, discovering things that she never noticed - long eyelashes, the slight flush painted on her cheeks, her pink lips glistening in the faint light. Anna glowed. Beautiful. Maybe, this was the last time she would really get to see her like this. The last time she would be able to touch her without any shame.

Her heart felt like it had been inflamed with hurt, but she couldn't show it. She shouldn't.

"I'm sorry…" Elsa whispered. It was all she could really say.

"Mm…" Anna turned her head away, finally, opening her eyes. For a moment, the girl was in a daze before turning to meet Elsa's eyes. "El… sa?"

The blonde tried her best to smile. "I'm glad you ate something," she whispered. "Go back to sleep, I didn't mean to wake you up."

Anna grumbled to herself and scratched her head. "What - what time is it…?"

"Six. I'll make dinner soon."

Again, Anna hummed in response, slowly sitting herself up. Anna didn't say anything for a second - eyes wandering up and down Elsa's body, curiously. But it was no matter to Elsa. Everything that she had right now was all for Anna's eyes. She was so fucking tired of hiding.

"Did you see my check?"

Elsa waved the piece of paper. "You don't have to return this to me."

Anna shook her head, pushing her hand away. "I know, but it's the right thing to do. Please accept it."

"Anna -"

"I-I know it doesn't mean much to you. I really… don't want this check to be a reminder of what I do."

Elsa wasn't going to argue with Anna anymore. Not with that guilty gaze staring at her. If that was what her little sister wanted, fine. She nodded in acceptance. At this point, she'd do anything. "Okay, I'll keep this safe in my account. If you ever need anything, you can always come back -"

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

The woman froze, her heart made a sudden stop because this was the last thing she wanted to talk about. Even she didn't know how she looked like. The only thing she wanted right now was to hold Anna's hand. To hear her voice. To see her smile at the thought of having to finish repaying Elsa. And the blonde needed to feel that warmth. So she did, lacing their fingers together, her thumb caressing every little freckle that dotted her skin. "How do I say it…?"

Anna slightly shifted in bed, tightening her fingers on Elsa's. "What's wrong?"

Take a deep breath. As calm as Elsa was, she was choking back tears as well. The trembling never stopped. "I don't ever want you to be disappointed in me. And especially not in yourself. I have your best interest at heart. I only want to make you happy." She grimaced. This wasn't what she wanted to say most. "So… I want to say that I am sorry. I am proud of you. I am glad to have met you - even under these circumstances."

The younger woman arched an eyebrow. "Elsa…? What did you do? You were gone…" She widened her eyes. Elsa couldn't bear to look at her. "Did you… you went to see Hans, didn't you?"

Elsa lowered her head in shame. Never did she think she'd care so much for one girl - never thought she'd feel pain. Even without picking her head up, Elsa knew to expect a reaction like that. The hand she held twitched, slowly pulling away even when Elsa gripped as hard as she could. The love and admiration they had for each other was slowly slipping away too.

Perhaps, it was quite ironic for Elsa to hold onto her as much as she could, as tightly as possible. But she needed to. Anna needed the comfort - the love.

"Anna, I only wanted to protect you -"

"What did you do? Did you negotiate with him? No, don't -"

The blonde immediately got up, a hand longing to hold her - longing to comfort her and slowly reaching for her. But she couldn't hold and comfort her. She didn't have the right. Not even with her little sister jerking away. "Anna."

"Don't touch me." This was the first time Elsa had ever heard her say those words. No matter how soft she said it, every single syllable was covered in pins of hurt. The way Anna squinted, looking away from her like she was thinking... for the first time, it made Elsa nervous. But for what? That she'd lose Anna again? Her sister as well? Yes. "Why do you look so scared?"

Elsa couldn't say. If anything, she was waiting for the girl to say what she had to say. What she knew. Because Elsa knew that Anna was smart enough to understand that things were not going to be that easy.

"I take it that I'm not working there anymore?" Her fingers clenched tight on the blanket. There was no better way to say it.

"You won't be hurt anymore. Anna…" Her glistening eyes, coated with unshed tears, gazed at the ceiling. "I did what I could. I asked him. I apologized for what I did. I begged -"

"Why didn't you come to me first?" Anna's lips trembled, and though, her expression was just as dark… those tears for Elsa would haunt her forever. Her eyebrows crossed, shaking her head in disbelief. Elsa couldn't answer, standing there like a coward. When she wasn't afraid of Hans… she was afraid of Anna. How could it be? "You don't trust me, do you? I stayed home like you told me, didn't I? I fed myself, I cleaned… I gave you back the money I owe. Wasn't it enough?"

"I don't want him hurting you, I had to agree to the terms he asked for." Elsa breathed in all the anger that was in the room.

"No, you're…" Anna lifted a finger to her lips. "You're treating me like a child."

"That's not true, Anna -"

A single, clear droplet of tears rolled down her cheeks. Nothing screamed anger than how her eyes were brimming with tears, the fire in her pupils burning bright. But this… this was what Elsa deserved right? This was what Hans wanted? "I handled myself. I did everything - I did everything for you. I… let myself get fucked by those men every fucking night. I prayed that you'd come back whenever you didn't. I dirtied myself, so you'd be clean. And for what? For who? FOR FUCKING YOU! And now, I'm guessing, you want to tell me we need to separate? Again?"

Elsa closed her eyes. Closed her heart. She was overflowing with hatred for herself, but she couldn't imagine how Anna was feeling right now. The hurt that Anna buried inside herself was let loose. The storm that she had contained crashed down. Both of them couldn't even let out a cry of despair. There weren't any. Perhaps, there was no time for despair. All that surrounded this room was Anna's anger. Oh, if Anna wasn't feeling sorry, only Elsa could feel it for herself.

"What could we ever do, Anna?" She didn't say. When the redhead didn't move, couldn't move, Elsa took the opportunity to hold Anna in her arms one last time - even if it meant for Anna to push her away again.

"You could've told me. How could I ever sleep, knowing you made this stupid decision yourself? I thought you were my sister?"

Elsa agreed. She had to listen - and even she knew herself, she was in the wrong. "I'm sorry… I didn't want us to end like this. It has to be this way -"

"Don't. Don't you fucking tell me that. If this is what you want, fine, let's lead our lives separately. You aren't even half the person Meg is." The redhead gritted her teeth, her body trying to squirm away from Elsa. "Let go. Let me go."

The blonde pressed her face against the crook of her neck, pressing her weight down on the girl. But hearing her say that… hearing Anna say she was never going to be enough, shattered her. How could she say that? Elsa couldn't live with that. But Anna was only angry - that was it. There was no special meaning behind her words.

"I'm sorry…" There was no use repeating it, but if there was only one percent chance of Anna forgiving her, she'd take it.

"LET ME GO!"

"Anna!" The blonde laid her head against her shoulder, pressing her whole body on the girl, only to have them fall flat in bed.

Anna didn't have the power to resist. So they stayed like this, Elsa holding onto her, Anna weakly making attempts to get her off. Elsa knew. She knew what she was doing to Anna was wrong.

How afraid she was to see Anna turn into someone that she wouldn't recognize. How frustrated she was to admit that Hans… was right about them. She didn't want Anna to experience any more hardship. She could be free! Whatever Anna wanted, Elsa could provide… and that was what she had been saying all this time before they were even seen as sisters.

Sisters… yes. Elsa was only doing her duty as an older sister.

"Alright, that's all I have for today. Be sure to submit your memoir by finals week. Reading responses are due the next time we meet. Have a good night, everyone."

Every student was pouring out of the lecture hall, and while Meg still hadn't noticed the blonde that stood by the doorway, her arms crossed together, Elsa took this time to think for a minute.

She was furious. She had every right to be. Having to look at Meg being carefree, talking to her students, and cleaning her stuff up, disgusted her. How could she? While Anna was at home feeling like she had lost everything in her life, Meg was smiling.

Elsa clenched her fingers into a fist and slowly walked down the stairs to meet her. At least now, the room was empty. The silence was deafening, the only thing that could be heard was Elsa's heels clicking down on the floor. Meg finally perked her head up. Her eyes widened, body frozen.

Elsa continued to stomp towards her without any hesitation.

"Elsa…? What are you doing -"

The blonde growled under her breath, quickly grabbing onto the professor's collar. Slap. "Fuck you."

The sound resonated through the room, Meg frozen in place. But a single slap wasn't satisfying. The horror that grew in Meg's eyes wasn't even enough either. "What…"

"How dare you…" Elsa whispered, her breathing growing rapid with fiery. She squinted in exasperation. Meg held her cheek in her hand, her hazel glistening eyes meeting with Elsa's. Don't you look at me like that. Immediately, Elsa pushed her away against the table. "How fucking dare you? Do you know what you have done?"

"You're talking about Anna…"

Elsa was ready to slap her again. "You don't deserve to call her name. Do you know what the hell you have done?" she repeated, and the anger that she held inside for so long erupted. She was trembling, and never had Elsa been this irritated in her life. Perhaps, even irritation was an understatement.

Meg took a deep breath. "I do." Elsa laughed, disbelieved, unable to even look at her in the eye. Oh, shut up. "But I did it because I know we don't have a choice. She doesn't have a choice."

"And you do?" Elsa gritted her teeth, a finger jabbed against the top of her chest. "You don't get to come back into Anna's life just to do shit like this."

"I did it so I could save her, Elsa." The woman wanted to roll her eyes. It was so tiring for Elsa to hear such calm voice. To see that Meg wasn't even going to compete with her right now. Did she even care? "I did it so that your own reputation wouldn't be ruined, I didn't want you two to suffer -"

Elsa started pacing. "You have no right to do that. You have no place here. She didn't want this - she wanted love -"

"AND I PROVIDED THAT FOR HER!" Meg slammed her fist on the table. She squinted. "You don't think I know that?! You don't think I suffered too?! Instead of looking for you, she was desperate enough to look for me. That night when I was with her, I told her we didn't have to do anything, but she insisted that we fuck! And you know why? She wanted to fill that hole that you left her with. And that's what I've been doing for the past few weeks because it's what she wanted!"

Elsa immediately came closer to her, prompting the woman back up against the wall. "Don't you dare say that to me when you've taken an advantage of her. That video you filmed -"

"Where were you when she cried in front of me?! Where were you when she was being threatened by Hans?! You haven't seen the insanity - the pain she was going through!" She pushed Elsa away roughly. The words in her question left the blonde completely blank - shocked even. And the only thing she wanted to question herself was why? Just why was she so selfish? "Where were you? Tell me!" Elsa couldn't. Perhaps, knowing she was ashamed to hear Meg say that Anna had been with her this whole time. She deserved to know, though- to feel the hurt and pain that Anna had gone through.

"She cried…" That was all she could say. The only thing she heard. Meg shook her head in disbelief.

"Where… were you when she wanted someone to take care of her? You're her sister, yet she got better care from me, someone who doesn't want her love. Someone who thinks that she is better off with someone else rather than a person like me! And I'm the one taking an advantage of her."

Elsa shook her head. Her heart hurt to hear those words. She knew this was all true - that Anna wasn't going to go to Elsa because she thought they needed space. That Anna… didn't want her worry. Because that was what Elsa said. And she really shouldn't have because now? Now, Anna needed her. Now, Meg was the one who had been there while Elsa was running away like a coward.

Elsa was speechless, helpless. And she let Meg stare at her in silence, in anger… because she needed to be criticized. "I… I wanted her to know that I couldn't be what she wanted me to be."

They didn't say anything for a moment, Meg's fiery eyes almost seemingly lusting for Elsa's guilt in her face. There was no doubt about it - Elsa… was guilty.

Meg huffed a breath. "I know that, Elsa. I completely understand you - but do you know what I had to do just so she could get away from that bastard of a man?" Meg pointed to herself. "I had to do whatever I could. I had to sacrifice my pride, I had to risk what Anna would feel about me if - when she finds out what the fuck I have done. I was in that video too, Elsa. And you -" She looked away. "You just sat back for weeks. You may be her sister - her mistress - but what you're doing is not love."

Meg had said enough. She knew what she had done was wrong. And she understood why Meg had to do it. Why that video was shown to Elsa. The humiliation today was more than enough, but that was what Elsa needed. A wake-up call. To show that Anna was crying for help.

But there was no question about it - Elsa… really needed to stay away from her now. And it wasn't because Hans told her so - she needed to do so, herself. Because Anna said so. Perhaps, she was a hypocrite like that - wanting to be there for Anna only to say that they needed space over and over again. She thought Anna would be better off this way, and nothing could change that fact.

She shook her head in shame. "Why didn't you tell me? Why would you let this happen?"

"I wanted to tell you. But despite the difference between us, I didn't want that bastard to hurt you either. Just as he did with Anna. So no." Meg searched her pleading eyes, sternly. "You needed to face the reality - how broken she is, how much she needed someone just because you left. So she came to me - someone that reminds her of you."

"Me…" Elsa grimaced in disgust. "You and I are nothing alike."

"No, we aren't. How we treat her… how you make her feel is the reason why she mistakes you with me."

She still didn't get it. Anna never said anything - never looked Elsa in the eyes that made her guess that Meg was seen in her.

Fingers grasped around Elsa's wrist, and she looked up.

"I hope you understand why I did this. And I really hope you understand what you need to do."

"Do you love her?"

Meg cocked an eyebrow up. "What?"

"You heard what I said." Those words were so softly spoken, embedded with hurt. Elsa was too tired, too accepting of her words to even argue anymore. Her exhausted blue eyes stayed on Meg's like they were expecting an answer just from her expression. But the confused - even shamed - eyes didn't have much to say.

"Even if I did love her, she'd rather choose you. You know it. She knows it." Elsa almost laughed. She wasn't sure if this was just sad or comical. On the inside, Elsa knew it though. How much Anna would give up just to keep Elsa in arms reach. "And I know what you're going to say. Don't act like it's impossible, Elsa. She thinks about you all the time, and I'm sure you already know that."

"What do you know about her feelings? You rejected her." And what does that make me?

Meg chuckled to herself. "You're right, I don't know. So let me ask you this: do you love her?"

"Of course -"

"Cut that shit out, you know what I meant."

She did. Elsa just didn't want to believe it. She didn't trust her own feelings, nor would she ever trust the words that would come out of her mouth. She was different - at least, that was what Elsa wanted to believe. Right now, they were sisters, and the feelings that Elsa had… no matter how intense… how wrong it was, it was there. She didn't want it.

Elsa looked away. "I don't know."

A quiet moment passed before Meg nodded. "Well, when you figure it out, no matter who you are to her, you make sure she's not hurt. Because right now, she's as fragile as glass, and I can't bear to see that again. We're 23 years old - we know better, Elsa."

There wasn't a thing that Meg had said that was wrong. The way those eyes pleaded for Elsa to understand her - their situation was so consuming She gazed at the hand that grasped her, nodding. "You're right. We know better."

Meg softened her gaze. "Good." Taking a deep breath, she put some space between them. "How is she?"

Even Elsa didn't know how to answer that. She didn't need to disappoint another person that was in her life again. But being honest and genuine was what Elsa had to do. Especially now. Her body tensed, eyebrows furrowed, and her eyes closed blue with tears. "Not well." Two words. That was all she could say.

But it didn't take long for Meg to understand. "I guess… hurting her is the only way to separate."

Why was she even talking to her like this? Elsa was supposed to lecture her. Not accept her. Meg didn't deserve acceptance with that stunt she pulled on Anna.

"I'm going to tell her."

For a second, Meg didn't say anything. Because she knew this was the right thing to do. She knew she was in the wrong. Slowly, she nodded. "I know you will."

Elsa squinted. "You know how she will react right?"

"Even if you don't tell me, I'll know." She sighed. "And tell her I'm sorry… even if she won't accept it."

She didn't want to. But Meg had done enough. They all had. This was the least Elsa could do… to lessen Anna's pain. Perhaps, this just wasn't the way - none of this was ever the way.

Elsa stared at her pleading eyes, wanting to shake her head. Wanting to say no. The woman took a deep breath, drifting her gaze to the ground, leaning against the table. "You will hurt her even more than… than I did."

"I can accept that."

a/n: ah... anna finally grows a backbone, and elsa is beaten to pulps by meg. what a turn of events. but in all seriousness... who does anna belong to now?