Pornography is a major problem in our society, particularly among young people. An alarming number of young people spend countless hours viewing pornography. What they don’t realize is how pornography really affects them. They may view it a simple “adult entertainment,” when in reality it is seriously hurting them.

To understand pornography’s effect on young people we have to ask, “what are the messages young people receive from pornography?” For young men and women the messages are different. Here are some of the messages young men receive from viewing pornography:

Women are here solely for my sexual pleasure Women don’t need to be loved or respected Women love sex. They can’t get enough of it. They beg for it. The sex portrayed in pornography is normal and healthy Sex and pornography should be a part of any relationship True happiness in life will only come from having multiple sex partners

As you can see, these are all myths. None of these messages will help a young man have a healthy lasting relationship with a woman. In reality they only lead to men using women for selfish sexual purposes. No happiness or fulfillment can come out of this.

Now let’s talk about the messages young women receive from pornography. They are just as damaging as the messages young men receive. Some of these messages are:

Women must be just as sexually aggressive as men In order to be loved by a man a woman must look and act like a porn star The sex portrayed in pornography is normal and healthy A women should enjoy the sex in pornography despite how painful and physically dangerous it is Sex and pornography should be a part of any relationship In order to keep a boyfriend a woman must engage in sexting

These messages are also myths. Ultimately they convince a woman that in order to get a man and keep him she must sacrifice her dignity and engage in degrading acts. This only leads to great sadness and disappointment when a young woman realizes she is simply letting men use her.

Young people today need to realize the lies they are being fed by pornography. Viewing pornography will not teach you about healthy intimacy and sexuality. It will not teach you how to have a healthy and successful relationship. I understand you have valid questions about sex and relationships, and the place most people turn to today for information is the Internet. However, because of all the pornography on the Internet and the dangerous messages it presents, the Internet is really the last place you want to go to for the truth about sex and relationships. To get the real truth you need to turn to trusted adults, such as parents, teachers, health care professionals and clergy.

So why doesn’t pornography present the truth about sex and relationships? Well the truth is that healthy sex and intimacy can only be found in a committed marital relationship where it is an expression of deep physical, emotional, and spiritual love. Pornography violates this because it takes sex out of that relationship. There is no commitment or intimacy. Sex is reduced to nothing more that a selfish recreational activity that, while temporarily exciting, can never provide lasting fulfillment. In a healthy and fulfilling marital relationship there is no need for pornography.

Young men need to arm themselves with the truth about pornography. Beware of the lies you might be buying into because of pornography. Realize that God is calling you to be strong, virtuous leaders, providers, and protectors. You cannot achieve this if you are enslaved to pornography. Also, let the women in your life know how pornography is hurting the way they view sex, relationships and most importantly themselves. Women need to hear from men that they don’t need to look and act like porn stars to be loved. Show them they are loveable simply because they are children of God. Affirm them in their true beauty which is more than physical. Love them by respecting and protecting them. This will help you have healthy and happy relationships according to God’s plan.