The Divine Comedy's Neil Hannon says 'none have succeeded' to 'encapsulate the King of Sports in song'. He is wrong

A very small number of people will be able to read the phrase "the first Irish concept album about cricket" and not feel slightly nauseous. However, if, like me, you experience even the slightest twinge of guilty excitement at those words, then I suggest you scurry off to get your headphones, and resign yourself to the fact that for the next 30 minutes you're not going to get any work done.

Who would have the chutzpah to release "the first Irish concept album about cricket"? Neil Hannon of the Divine Comedy of course, a man who actually made the charts with a record inspired by National Express coach travel. Hannon has teamed up with fellow musician Thomas Walsh under the name The Duckworth Lewis Method to celebrate their mutual love of the game in a musical form. Quite simply: hurrah.

Among the preview tracks on the pair's very amusing site is a jaunty number named Jiggery Pokery, almost certainly the finest pop-song ever written from the perspective of Mike Gatting. ("How such a ball could be bowled I don't know but, if you ask me, if it had been a cheese roll it would never have got past me").

I have just one quibble with the Duckworth Lewis Method's excellent efforts, and it lies with this quote from their blog: "Few have attempted to encapsulate the King of Sports in song. None have succeeded." Seeing as I'm a male sports journalist with a geek's passion for cricket music, that's as much of an excuse to compile an XI of cricket songs as I'm ever going to need. Enjoy.

11) Machel Montano & Claudette Peters – Come Rise



This place should really have gone to Dave Rudder's anthem Rally Round The West Indies, but then you'd miss the sight of Sir Allen Stanford, Sir Gary Sobers and Sir Viv Richards other having a dance-off at 37 seconds in.

10) The Commentators – N-n-n-n Nineteen Not Out

An unlistenable crime against music. It's a cricketing parody of Paul Hardcastle's scarcely-less-terrible track Nineteen, perpetrated by Rory Bremner. Don't linger on it. If you want cricket comedy and don't offend easily go and listen to Billy Birmingham instead.

9) 10cc - Dreadlock Holiday

The industry standard for pop songs about cricket. It spent a week at no1 in the UK chart in 1978, and was covered by Boney M (whose outfit would you rather be seen in? Boney M's or 10cc's? Tough call isn't it?). Deliciously, even though the song is so beloved by Sky TV and the Barmy Army, it's actually about an obnoxious white tourist trying to prove his phoney Rastafarian credentials to a bunch of muggers.

8) Half Man Half Biscuit - Fuckin 'Ell, it's Fred Titmus

Half Man Half Biscuit have made a greater contribution to the sports pop music canon than any other band. I can't believe I just typed that sentence. Anyway, despite the respective merits of Let's Not (Vanburn Holder), and Hedley Verityesque, the best of HMHB's efforts is surely this ditty about bumping into England off-spinner Fred Titmus in the corner shop.

7) The Kinks – Cricket

Whimsical musing about, well, cricket, God and the Demon bowler from the 1973 album Preservation Act: 1.

6) Paul Kelly – Bradman

The English seem to be incapable of singing songs about cricket without their tongue in their cheek. Leave it to an Aussie then, to provide a straight-down-the-line, painfully sincere rock ballad like this. You'd have to be half-cut to sing this stuff and mean it. That said, the video is exceptional.

5) Lord Kitchener – The Alec Bedser Calypso

Lord Beginner's Victory Calypso about the West Indies first Test win in England is equally exquisite, but I wrote about that a few weeks back. This Calypso is less well known, but just as delightful, and it gets extra points for being about the Australians being skittled out by the medium pace of Alec Bedser.

4) Roots Manuva – Again & Again



You wouldn't know this was about cricket until you watched the video, which may be why it's actually the best song on this list. No surprise that a man who has previously rapped about bitter and cheese on toast should love village cricket.

3) Roy Harper –When An Old Cricketer Leaves The Crease

John Peel loved this track so much that he requested it be played on air after he died. Which makes it feel even more mawkish and sentimental than it already is. Honestly, listen to too much of this and you'll be wiping stray tears from underneath your eye.

2) I Roy – Tribute to Michael Holding

A fine tonic to Harper's track is this implausible and largely incomprehensible dub toast to Michael Holding, confirming his status as the coolest man in the Sky commentary box by a country mile.

1) The Compton Cricket Club – Bullets



The CCC work to "inspire youths to greater civility and away from gangsterism" by teaching them to play cricket. It's a fine and noble project, and also catalyst for the unlikeliest piece of hip hop you'll ever hear.

And I didn't even find room for the legendary Batting Collapse by Colin Wood.