The 5 Step Process to Guarantee You’ll Have a Great Night Salsa Dancing

“I’m sorry, I can’t following your timing” said my second partner of the night, as she darted away from me in the middle of the song.

I spent the next couple of minutes stuck in my head. It was only the first bit of the song. There were no congas. There was a time switch. While I sat around brooding, everyone around me danced. I was left behind.

We all have “off” nights — socials where we just aren't feeling it. Nights where we feel we have fallen out of love with Salsa. When these nights come, as they inevitably do, there are ways of dealing with them. By taking action and shifting our mindset, we can turn a bad night into a great one.

Step 1: Recognize you are having a bad night: Common symptoms include rationalizing why you shouldn't ask people to dance. Your mind will flood with bullshit thoughts. “She’s too (good/bad/old/young/mean/slutty). This song’s too (slow/fast/hard/romantic). I’m too (sweaty/tired/nervous).”

Fully feel these thoughts. Lucky for you, recognizing that you are having a rough night is the first step to having a great one.

Step 2: Change your body language: On bad nights, it’s tempting to sit down. To cross your arms. To let the nervousness take hold of you.

All of this negative body language will put you in a worse and worse mood. Realize that the goal is to shift your brain into “dancing mode.”

The first step to changing your mood is changing your body language. Stand up as straight as you can. Palms out. Smile. Feel the love flowing from your heart into this room full of dancers.

Step 3: Ask anyone to dance: Don’t forget the reason you went out! Walk up some someone — anyone — smile, and stick out your hand. Don’t seek validation or approval from your partner. It’s your job to build up your own emotional state so you can spread that positive energy to the rest of the room.

Step 4: Get a little silly: We all still have these caveman brains from back in the day when we lived in 150 person tribes. If you acted like a lunatic, you would be socially ostracized, kicked out, and left to fend for yourself. Sometimes, when you go to the salsa club, that caveman brain kicks in. You’re afraid of looking stupid.

Here’s the reality: no one cares what you look like. To quote David Foster Wallace, “You’ll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do.”

When you go out to dance, you need to give your brain proof that it’s alright to let go. So when your dancing, throw you hands up in the air. Move your hips a little too much. Jump up and down.

I promise you, no one besides your partner will notice. If they do, they will just smile. Bring the fun.

Acting silly tells your brain “I’m alright here, this is a safe environment.”

Step 5: Ride the Momentum:

Look at you! You identified it was a bad night, stood up straight, asked someone to dance anyway and acted a little silly. Now you should be feeling a little better. Keep building that dancing mood. On nights where you aren’t feeling it, minimize the number of songs that you sit out.

You’ll find that with each passing dance, you’ll build a bit more confidence. Use it to ask people that might normally intimidate you. When you are feeling it, people will sense that positive energy radiating off of you.

Congratulations, you've fully recovered from a bad night! Dance on, salsero.