KillItWithFire Jan 1, 2004





I won't bore you all with too much backstory, so let me just tell you what you need to know about the two people involved here, Monty and Krystle.



Picture a 21-year-old half-asian guy who doesn't shave in all black clothing and often a trenchcoat. You have Monty. He's been a senior for I think 4 years now, but just got kicked out because apparently after you turn 21 you're not entitled to any more school. This is fortunate, because he never went to class anyway, just walked the halls and bothered people. He does not shave. He does not bathe. He does not wear deodorant. He's very creepy looking. It's unnerving.



To add to this unsightly image, Monty thinks he's a ninja. Seriously. If there is a stair railing, counter, or other such object/surface around, Monty will jump onto it and pretend to balance and meditate and stuff. He is also an absolute social failure. He's one of those guys who you can't stand to listen to, and yet they continue to talk to you constantly anyway, and you don't scream "SHUT THE gently caress UP" out of pity. His favorite topic of discussion is, unsurprisingly, his insane ninja skills. Also Krystle and how cute she is and how much he wants her, which we're getting to.



Krystle is your typical 17-year-old girl, generally speaking. There isn't much to say about her. She's somewhat cute, but not insanely hot.



Monty has been stalking Krystle for a while now. He used to follow her around when he was still in school. He shows up at parties where she is, uninvited. He calls her every day and talks for as long as she's willing to listen, which usually isn't very long. He comes to her house at 6 AM. She's told him to go away many times, discreetly and non-discreetly, to no avail.



Here is the 6-page letter he delivered to her. My apologies for the quality, it's a scan of a photocopy of a letter written in pencil on notebook paper. Mods, the images are approximately 600 x 800, which is just about rule-compliant, but I'll link them if necessary, let me know.



























I first read this letter in Physics class. Needless to say, I got a lot of strange looks, as I could not stop laughing. I find the English 101 part especially , as well as the hamster. 01-04