AURORA, IL—Noting its impressive collection of shops, restaurants, and transit options during a phone call with her daughter, local mother Carol Wingfield expressed her admiration for Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport in the strongest terms, sources confirmed Friday. “Have you been there? It’s gorgeous!” said Wingfield, 59, who also lavished praise on the airport’s clean restrooms and a manageable layout that did not require her to “walk halfway to China” to catch her connecting flight. “It’s got anything you’d want. I had a chef’s salad that was so good, I totally forgot I was in an airport. And the stores! If you lived close enough, I bet you could just shop here like a real mall—oh, you can buy a little cactus, too!” Wingfield went on to suggest that the bozos who run O’Hare should visit Phoenix and take plenty of notes.

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