Appletreehouse Thu 03-Oct-19 08:50:19

We have friends like this, they have kids same age as us, their house is filthy, unwashed dishes, food all over the floor, dirty bathrooms, clothes, toys and paperwork everywhere. They're both academics so very intense working all hours, international travel and both had quite alternative childhoods (home educated for periods, one lived between relatives for a while whilst their parents went off travelling together etc.) so I get that they're only doing what was modelled to them as children, and it's obviously done them no harm as they're very successful and lovely people, but we met at uni and it feels like they never grew out of that lifestyle.



Since we had kids I find it quite uncomfortable visiting as everything is so chaotic. So now I suggest we eat out for lunch, and I'll bring an evening meal in repayment for them 'hosting', something simple that just needs warming up and I bring the dish home, like lasagne and bagged salad, and a cheesecake, could you do the same?



I do feel a bit annoyed sometimes as I'll start doing a bit of washing up and suddenly I'm asked if I wouldn't mind just doing a bit more, and can I do this, etc. I don't want to spend my weekend cleaning someone else's house, I have my own to sort too! But I've accepted they're not going to change and just plan my visits carefully!