Here are the thoughts from someone who's been online dating for about 5 years, and knows a lot of men/women who have done the same.



Before I get into it, it’s cool to read a woman’s perspective on Era when it comes to dating – doesn’t happen very often so thank you for taking the time to be thorough about it!



Let’s take these point by point.



Quality of Dates:

Someone already called it out, but multiple dates can add up. Keep in mind that a lot of people are going out on several dates, and these $7-10 coffee/boba/drink occasions can add up quickly. I make more than enough money but if the girl doesn’t at least start going for her wallet or looks at me with an “expected” gaze, there’s already a red flag being waved. For perspective, I was living paycheck to paycheck from the age of 18 to 25.



Age Gap

You’re 21, ya? You ever heard the implication that women mature faster than men? In my experience I’d find that very true, but to be honest people in their early-mid twenties are still trying to figure stuff out in general. I was probably at the worst part of my entire life from the age of 20-23. It's probably extra hard for you because you're still so young.



Attraction:

The sad part of online dating is that much like looking at products on amazon, stuff really does start to look the same. The truth is that people don’t really differ from one another all that often, and being “average” is actually pretty standard. If someone is “unique” in looks, personality, or style, then they are the odd ones out and you’re probably going to have to compete for them against others.



People Liking you and not Liking you Back:

Here’s the hard truth – when someone likes you, you become part of a ‘pool’ that they’re filling. If you’re not the prettiest, sharpest, or most unique fish in the pool, then you might get passed on without as much as a second look. It sucks.



I might sound a bit jaded, but the fact of the matter is online dating is hard unless you're super attractive, white, or asian. Good luck out there!