Apart from the frequent occasions on which we leave lots of stones unturned in the name of speculation-peddling that is assiduous as it is judicious, the Rumour Mill likes to leave no stone unturned in the name of speculation-peddling that is assiduous as it is judicious. And so it came to pass that, while perusing the Spanish local press, specifically the Andalucian daily El Correo, we chanced upon some tittle-tattle linking Nicklas Bendtner to Sevilla.

The confident Arsenal striker, currently on loan at Sunderland, paid a flying visit to the Spanish city in the immediate aftermath of Denmark's recent win over Portugal, which was enough for the paper's scribes to presume he was in town for a chat with Sevilla's manager, Marcelino García Toral, rather than a visit to the impressive Cathedral of Saint Mary of the See, or even that bar with the nice tapas and the tables out front, where the Rumour Mill once saw an orange fall from a tree and land on the head of a diner at an adjacent table. Oh how we laughed.

Elsewhere in the Spanish media, local radio station Cadena Ser broke their All Hits-No Chat policy to reveal that Tottenham Hotspur are after Valencia's Spanish striker Roberto Soldado, who made an impressive start to the season by scoring four goals in his first game; three for his own team and one for opponents Racing Santander. Securing the services of Soldado would be dependent on Spurs getting rid of Roman Pavlyuchenko in January, but the Russian striker is believed to be attracting come-hither glances from a number of clubs in his homeland. Harry Redknapp is also interested in signing the Ivorian striker Seydou Doumbia from CSKA Moscow and Barcelona whelps Martín Montoya and Marc Bartra, who play at right-back and in the centre of defence respectively.

It should come as no surprise that Redknapp is also one of several Premier League managers sniffing around Brighton centre-half Lewis Dunk, so much so that he felt compelled to send his shouty-snarly sideline lieutenants Joe Jordan and Clive Allen to monitor the boy's progress during the Seagulls' draw at Millwall on Tuesday night. Scouts from Arsenal and Manchester City were also spotted giving Dunk the glad eye at the Den.

Lille's Cameroonian central defender Aurélien Chedjou has denied speculation linking him with a move to Anfield, having told French daily L'Equipe that he has heard no news from Liverpool and the last foreign club that contacted him was Juventus. "Any news from Liverpool? No," he said. "The last foreign club that contacted me was Juventus." Liverpool are reported to have "won the race" to sign Peru striker Andy Polo, having breasted the tape ahead of wheezing money-men from Real Madrid and Arsenal. Nicknamed The Jewel, rather than the more amusing Mint With The Hole, Polo has been compared to Robinho. If he pitches up on Merseyside at the end of the Peruvian domestic season in November, expect him to be spotted taking the bus to Runcorn Shopping City and hanging around assorted local nightclubs, before throwing a hissy-fit and moving back home to South America.

Sir Alex Ferguson's No2, Mike Phelan, has made no secret of Manchester United's interest in bringing Sporting Lisbon's 22-year-old Dutch striker Ricky van Wolfswinkel to Old Trafford, but the player's Mr 15% has played down talk of a move. "Ricky is doing very well with Sporting and is very happy with the club, the city and the supporters," Louis Laros said. "For him everything is perfect, for me this rumour is not a surprise but I have not spoken with anybody." A more cynical purveyor of football tell-all than the Rumour Mill may view such talk as a sledgehammer subtle hint.

Speaking of hints, the face of Hamburg winger Maximilian Beister has been spotted on "wanted" posters Martin Jol has been sticking up outside Fulham owner Mohamed Al Fayed's office. The Cottagers are also after Ajax's Moroccan striker Mounir El Hamdaoui, who has previously played in England for Tottenham Hotspur and Derby County and is also wanted by Atlético Madrid. The Germany Under-21 winger is currently on loan at Fortuna Düsseldorf, who play in the German second division.

The Everton manager, David Moyes, and his comparatively smouldering but less successful Wigan Athletic counterpart Roberto Martínez are prepared to duke it out in their attempts to sign FC Dallas defender George John, one of several players Blackburn Rovers expressed an interest in but failed to sign last summer. Whoever loses out will have to make do with Paul Ringo.

And Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs and Manchester City are all after Basel midfielder Xherdan Shaqiri, but will have to fight off opposition from Milan, Juventus and Bundesliga propper-uppers Hamburg for the £7m Swiss international whom you may remember as the scorer of a long-range left-footed screamer in his country's 3-1 defeat at the hands of England during the Euro 2012 qualifiers.

And despite interest from a wide range of clubs across Europe, representatives of Morgan De Sanctis reckon the goalkeeper will "hang up his gloves at Napoli", or at the very least leave them pointing towards the sky from some spikes on the railings outside the Serie A side's Stadio San Paolo.

That's your lot, here's a picture of a duck.