It Looks Like America's Bible-Signing President Is Also a Pimp

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Here are the dots for connecting an important piece of information. Dot one: On February 22, 2019, the owner of the New England Patriots, Robert Kraft was charged with allegedly soliciting sex (a blowjob) at the Orchids of Asia Day Spa in Jupiter, Florida, on the morning of Superbowl 2019. The next dot: Today, the Miami Herald reported that "Trump cheered Patriots to Super Bowl victory with founder of spa where Kraft was busted." The founder is Cindy Yang. She loves Trump like nobody's business. However, she no longer owns the Orchids of Asia Day Spa, though some of her spas have "attracted the attention of at least two local police agencies over allegations of prostitution." According to the Miami Herald, they are known as places a man can visit for a "rub and tug."

Dot three: Donald Trump (enough said about that). Dot four: Trump and Kraft are close friends. Dot five: Many of Trump's close friends are in court or going to prison. Dot six: Orchids of Asia Day Spa is not far from Trump National Golf Club, where the Superbowl party occurred the day Kraft was allegedly caught by cops with his pants down. Connecting these dots, which place the Trump at center of Kraft's prostitution charge, plainly introduces the possibility of presidential pimping.

Spotted at Trump’s Super Bowl Party: Florida spa magnate Cindy Yanghttps://t.co/hUpwzjpjgQ pic.twitter.com/brBX8tJYEo

— Boston Magazine (@BostonMagazine) March 8, 2019

And yet, if this were even the case (that Trump is a pimp), we would not be shocked. And Evangelical Christians would be unmoved. Indeed, the report of the connection between the former owner of Orchids of Asia Day Spa and Trump was posted on the very same day Trump signed Bibles for tornado survivors in Alabama. Trump's signature in your Bible. You just can't beat that.

White Evangelical Christians appear to be committed to a man who might very well be a pimp. Nothing shocking here. And while talking of pimps and madams, I want to point out what might be the defining position of the Democratic presidential candidate Tulsi Gabbard. According to BuzzFeed News, "[She] unequivocally wants to decriminalize sex work." This is big. It can even be described as a game changer. And it's not so much that decriminalizing sex work is an isolated issue; but, if implemented, it would have significant ramifications. A change in attitudes about sex work would result in the massive reconfiguration of our society. But the Evangelicals want none of that. They love their sins too much. Decriminalizing sex work is de-sinning it officially. It would be another huge loss. The horror. How can Kraft ask for forgiveness if paying for a blowjob is no different from buying a Bible?

That said, the Miami Herald's report has resulted in some funny Tweets, some of which will conclude this post.

I’m kind of disappointed that Cindy Yang didn’t get a cabinet job. https://t.co/xfPunuP5gj

— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) March 8, 2019

Cindy Yang

Well we may now know why so many .@GOP leaders love visiting Mar-A-Lago and so enthusiastically endorse their #OrangeJesus.

The benefits package.#GOPFamilyValues https://t.co/ODmTlhUzr9

— John😎Maun (@John_R_Maun) March 8, 2019

Senator Rick Scott (@SenRickScottFL) of Florida posing with Cindy Yang of Orchids of Asia Day Spa at a GOP fundraiser. What else was she "raising"? pic.twitter.com/L2J73hxton

— A Very Proper Lady (@VeryProperLady) March 8, 2019

Mueller you betta get over here quick. We got one more interview for you to do. #CindyYang pic.twitter.com/u3cCXKN7BA

— Covfefe Jones, the King of Blamelessness👑 (@King_Of_Shade) March 8, 2019

Cindy Yang appears to be one immigrant that #Trump and the Mar-a-Lago crowd have welcomed to our shores. https://t.co/Sqhhhw4xMD

— DefendDemocracy (@mijoda3) March 8, 2019

Why would Li "Cindy" Yang, founder of massage parlors where sexual services were available, have abruptly started donating money to Trump's campaign and attending events with him and his son? Who can say? https://t.co/8oiLsLNcOs

— Matt Steinglass (@mattsteinglass) March 8, 2019

Because there was no Pizzagate, but there is #TrumpSpaGate

— Penny Good (@PennyGood1) March 8, 2019