Okay… I’m just going to bite the bullet and admit this.

I’m not proud of it but I’m going to tell you the story because telling stories is what I do. I’m not advocating the process nor can I or would I condemn it.

If you’re curious then feel free to read on. If you deem this an unforgivable offense then please bugger off.

I was going through a bit of a rough patch. I’d just recently lost my mother. I found myself sitting at my desk in my dorm room staring at the painfully bright monitor of my laptop at 11pm (when it was finally getting quiet enough to start to focus.) My roommate was rolling around in his bed and I had the lights off because I didn’t want to be a miserable roommate.

I wasn’t too worried about being up late. I hadn’t been sleeping great anyway. I had the blank word processor plopped up in front of me and I knew that was at least a little bit more responsible than playing on reddit or texting people.

I had planned on writing the paper. I had 4 days left before it was due. It was a psychology essay that I’d known about for nearly a month but I kept putting it off. I know that was a big mistake. I knew that every time I put it off. But I did it anyway.

My mind was just about as blank as that word processor screen in front of me.

I had ideas but every time I tried to put one of them on paper they just fell apart.

And by midnight, I had, more or less, given up. I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time.

I was now messaging a friend about it and he wasn’t exactly helping.

He eventually started talking about buying an essay. He admitted to doing it himself.

I pestered him with questions about it being wrong and stuff but he just kept throwing the questions back at me.

The “morality” of purchasing essays ended up looking awfully murky to me by the end of the conversation.

Have you ever heard one of these explanations?

The Argument Not-Against Buying Essays

(Notice… it’s not the argument FOR buying essays. This is just going to be going over why the situation is complicated. And I’m not saying I agree with this. It’s just for discussion.)

What is the purpose for a teacher giving you an essay assignment?

1. In the ideal world, it’s to prove that you understand the topic and how to express that understanding. Or something like that, right?

Well… it’s just to prove something.

If you already know it then you can also prove that understanding by properly assessing an essay written by another person. If you can review an essay, prove it’s accurate, all to the point that you’re willing to put your name on it (and take full responsibility for the results) then you understand it.

2. Or are you asked to write the essay to become more skilled at writing essays?

Well… why are you being asked to get more skilled at writing essays? Essay writing isn’t going to help you in the vast majority of careers. Sure… if you’re an English major… you should probably get some practice in but if you’re an engineering major then this is kind of like training a dog to shake hands. Sure… it’s interesting but it’s not going to help the dog in life. Wolves don’t shake hands for anything in the wild.

(And quite frankly, even if you are an English major, there is a difference between writing to learn vs writing for the sake of writing. If you’ve written enough essays then… I could understand being sick of it.)

3. Or — more likely in many eyes — are you being asked to write the essay to prove your willingness to suffer to achieve a goal?

Well… this is silliness. There is no objective reason to suffer if you don’t produce real value out of it. If they want you to jump through certain hoops without any education taking place then isn’t it completely acceptable to not take the concept too seriously?

4. What about ethics/cheating policies?

First of all, most of them are written so broad they’re silly. Some students spend so long in the “writing center” getting help from other people that they’re virtually handing in someone else’s paper too. But… that’s ethical…

But… really… what right does a college have to discuss ethics with you?

See the recent college admissions scandal? Rich folks got to pay their way into the finest institutions in the US because college administrators accepted bribes. That isn’t everyone though, right?

But this isn’t even the tip of this 10 billion pound iceberg…

These same schools gladly accept the rich children of their favorite benefactors despite their complete lack of qualifications. This procedure isn’t even kept in the shadows. This is completely out in the open and no one will ever condemn the schools for this.

They don’t condemn the students because they all understand this is how the system works.

Now look into how much the colleges have indoctrinated high school students into making college a necessity. I’ve heard families complain when the military is allowed to recruit on a high school campus but many schools literally REQUIRE students to apply to colleges.

And this has allowed colleges to increase their tuition rates to a level that completely crushes wage increases and traps millions of students into debt without any hope of even going through bankruptcy.

Keep in mind — this is a big reason the essay writing industry even exists. If you’re charges 10k to take a class, paying $50 for an essay to pass the class is a huge bargain. Paying $1000 through the semester to save you hundreds of hours of work just makes sense.

BUT! BUT! BUT!

I get it.

At the end of the day, purchasing written essays may take some mental gymnastics not to feel icky.

But that’s most of life.

I also find it icky to write a paper that I’m just writing to make the teacher happy. I’m willing to jump through schools hoops even if I believe these hoops are wrong because I know it will put me ahead in life.

Anyway… my story continues…

That night talking to my friend planted the idea in my head and it stuck but before that…

I stayed up almost all that night and wrote about 2 paragraphs of the paper I had due. I ended up laying in bed at 4 AM hoping to get a little bit of sleep before my first class of the day. And that whole next day felt just like I’d went to bed at 4 AM.

I don’t know if you’re anything like me with this but when I’m tired physically, I kind of emotionally break down as well. That day thinking about my family got to me and at the end of the day I went out with friends hoping I’d feel better. I got home late and did nothing on the essay.

Desperation kicked in that next day and I let my friends logic take over my own moral high ground…

I asked him where he’d bought his essay from.

I got the recommendation and I did it. I bought the essay that night and slept easy knowing it was someone else’s problem.

When I got the essay, I read through it. I made some adjustments so it felt more right for me. I was super happy with the essay as I read through it. It felt way better than anything I could have thought of in those couple days. I put my name on it and printed it out.

I thought it would feel weird or wrong. It didn’t really feel anything.

And a week later I got the paper handed back to me with an A on it.

And it still felt just about the same. I was happy to have another A on the books. It might not have felt quite as good as usual but it still felt good.

Now… I realize this seems like a complicated issue. It was complicated for me until I just realized it’s stepping through the motions.

I spent probably 6–7 hours trying to write that essay before I just purchasing it. If I was making $10 an hour and I worked the job those hours, I’d be ahead a few bucks right now. Isn’t that weird?

As of this point, I don’t plan to purchase every essay. I admit, I doubt the college process quite a bit and I’m not sure the traditional approach is the best possible way.

The essay buying process helped me. And it could have helped me more if I’d just made the decision earlier. Honestly, I’m comfortable knowing that most of college seems to just be hoops we’re required to jump through. Those hoops provide some value but many of them are just hoops. If you’re capable of jumping through these hoops in a more efficient way… then at least you’re being efficient (and not staring hopelessly at a blank screen for 7 hours.)

edit: for those curious, the service I used was JustDoMyEssay.com. I was happy with the result. I recommend the company if you choose to follow through with this (and this is an affiliate link.)