Son, Please Do Not Swear in Front of the Family’s Bradley Nowell Memorial Shrine

Son, please come over here.

I love you, but I must reprimand you for something I overheard you say last night. You said a curse. I’m not upset that you used a swear word, but I am upset about where you said it. You swore in the living room.

You know what is in the living room, don’t you son?

Your mother and mine’s beloved Bradley Nowell memorial shrine is in the living room. And so help me God, you will never, EVER, disrespect the spirit of Bradley in that manner ever again. If you want to live in MY HOUSE, you will live by MY RULES.

That might sound harsh, but tough love is what you need right now.

Do you even know who Bradley Nowell is? Do you? Well, you should, because he’s only the most underrated icon in rock history. Bradley was the lead singer and guitarist of iconic SoCal ska/dub band Sublime and he’s been in my heart since before you were even a thought in my head.

Your mother and I have assembled all of our Bradley paraphernalia in our living room amongst our display of family photos because Bradley has been considered family ever since the song Date Rape graced my ears as a young teen. This is my favorite photo of Bradley: thick goatee, frosted tips, and the quintessential, “dad bod.” Absolute legend. And this is his dog, Louie Dog. No, son. It’s not creepy that I memorialize a stranger’s dog. You will respect this family’s beliefs and traditions.

Now hit this spliff.

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Listen, I have dedicated my home AND my body to Bradley’s remembrance. These markings I have permanently etched into my flesh preserve his memory. What may look like a mere sun tattoo sprawled across the front of my chest is actually a collage composed of skeletons, psychedelic mushrooms, and a switchblade from the cover of the seminal album, 40oz. to Freedom.

Pretty phat, huh?

Son, do you get it now? Next time, I hope you are able to restrain yourself from using foul language within earshot of such a spiritual and holy sanctuary in our home. Now go on, run along, and Jah bless.

Were you inspired by Sublime’s chill vibes to create a Bradley Nowell shrine in your home? Post a photo in the comments below!