The grandmother of missing New South Wales toddler William Tyrrell says she no longer thinks he is alive.

Speaking for the first time since the toddler's suspected kidnapping in September 2014, Natalie Collins says the family has been through hell, and William's disappearance has killed her inside.

“I wish he was alive, but I don’t think he is,” she told News Corp.





View photos The grandmother of missing New South Wales toddler William Tyrrell says she no longer thinks he is alive. Photo: Facebook More

The 56-year-old has admitted she contemplated suicide after the day the happy three-year-old boy was allegedly taken from the front garden of a Kendall home on the New South Wales mid-north coast.

“There are times when I just haven’t wanted to live,” said Ms Collins, who hasn't been able to hold down a job since that fateful day on September 12.

“It has been hell. I had no job, I had no income.

“It’s been tough. With William gone I couldn’t even concentrate. I just kept crying and crying and crying about the whole thing.”

View photos William disappeared from his grandmother's front yard on September 12, 2014. Photo: 7 News More

View photos William was wearing a Spiderman costume at the time of his disappearance. Photo: 7 News More

Ms Collins holds on to little hope that William might be safe and alive somewhere but also revealed the heavy toll his disappearance took on her personality and relationships.

“It has killed me inside. It has killed everyone,” she said, adding that she hardly smiles anymore.

View photos The disappearance of William Tyrrell has been referred to the coroner, but investigations continue. Photo: AAP More

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