In the opening scene of Transformers: The Last Knight, we are presented with the spectacle of King Arthur and his knights locked in an existential battle for the survival of human civilization, even though we’re not really told who they're fighting or why. No matter, because this after all is a Transformers movie, so soon we’re faced with

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(Actually, there is one pretty good scene about halfway through, when a British butler robot named Cogman keeps undercutting Anthony Hopkins’ stirring speeches by playing the film’s rousing theme music in the background on organs and such. This got real laughs from me, and for once, I felt like Bay’s desperate attempts at humor were working. But then it was back to

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