How do I select players?

During the draft your local admin will ask you what player you want on your team. During this time, you should take either the highest MMR player available on the sheet or whoever looks like they’re smurfing. You should not under any condition do any research, planning, or preparation for your draft you fucking tryhard.

2. How does the draft order change per round?

Draft order after the 1st round is based on Team Average MMR. This means you should draft as many smurfs as possible.

3. What is my main responsibility as a captain?

Your major responsibility is yelling at your team until they win the game. You should take full credit for all wins, and blame your safe laner/mid laner/supports (whatever position you are not) for any losses. The best captains make sure to accuse the other team of using smurfs and look for excuses to have them disqualified.

4. What else could I be doing as a captain?

A. Mute your teammates.

B. Ask for as many rigged stand-ins as possible.

C. Blame all your problems on the admin team

D. Avoid personal responsibility for everything.

Yet again, thanks for agreeing to take on all the irresponsibilities of being a captain, and with this simple advice I’m sure you’ll either have a great season or disband before the pain becomes unbearable.