I’m Carlos, and I live in Portugal and I’m 43 years old.

I wanted to share with you my life experiences with something that so far I cannot explain. I would like your opinion on this lifetime of occurrences.

I will be as brief as possible otherwise you will have 100 pages of episodes with experiences.

The reason I am sharing this with you is not to get a solution to my problem because there isn’t one, and it’s become a part of my life and routine. My wife knows about it and accepts it, my son wont probably know about it so he isn’t ridiculed – but I want to share this knowledge with you and maybe you can provide me with an opinion on the matter.

I’ve been experiencing this since I remember I existed and since I became self-aware.

I will divide this into phases of my life as the experiences change according to the phase of my life I’ve lived.

Infancy – childhood

I had no idea what an alien was but sleeping for me was a terrifying experience. I have memories of me awakening and having hooded figures around my bed, some of them unhooded and bald with large heads staring at me, and I couldn’t move or react. Some of times I urinated in fear in my bed – in those days I called them “snow men” because they were white like snow and had big heads the same way a snow man dummy has. Besides this, I had one interesting episode when I shared my bedroom with my sister who was also very little at that time, and one day we both woke up and the bedroom was upside down. The beds were in the wrong position, the mattresses were in the floor and the sheets were everywhere, we both woke up in the floor and not in our beds. I had crazy nightmares with miss piggy; it always had to do with she keeping me stuck on the bed and looking at me laughing.

Adolescence

This kept going and one day I saw a program called “unsolved mysteries” with Robert Stack and they were playing Alien abductions, and when they described a gray alien it was exactly like the snow men! When I saw that I completely panicked and to this day every time I see a “grey” picture or drawing I get very frightened and my skin does that response where your hair sticks up. It’s called goosebumps I think. For some reason, every time I see or speak about this I also begin tearing up and feel very sad.

While in my adolescence, I moved to my own bedroom and on a daily basis, I experienced episodes that varied in these types;

Paralysis with lights and creatures

I would sleep or nap in my bed and then I would wake up not being able to move and there was a blue light with a mist. Usually, I always turned my head to the light switch and then I would be stuck, frozen, only my eye balls moved, nothing else, even the eyelids couldn’t move. I had very blurry vision because the eyelids were semi-closed and I saw shadow humanoids around my bed, doing something in me, touching me and most of the times touching my chest. I remember this could be done in a rough way or in a gentle way. One time I was really stressed while the experience happened and one of the shadows touched my head with its hand and comforted me, it patted my head. In the end, I would wake up yelling and then regain mobility with lots of sweat and nothing was there; in some episodes I was able to get to the light switch and it didn’t work – like I had no power. In one episode, I was quick to get in my feet and run to the corridor that led to my parents bedroom and I lost mobility standing up, floated and a hand grabbed me in the back and pulled me back to the bedroom while I was floating – I lost consciousness afterwards – it was too blurry to see their hands in detail but they were big hands

Paralysis without light with creatures

This usually involved the same episode above but without the light. I had one interesting episode where I was in my bed turned in one side facing the clock. I had a digital clock with big red letters. I lost mobility and saw several shadows entering the bedroom and while they passed they blocked the light from the clock because they were between the bed and the clock. I felt hands in my back and then for a long time I felt them doing something in my back. While this happened, I was looking at the clock without moving and seeing the minutes pass.

Assorted bizarre things

One day, my parents were disturbed that during a power outage that occurred while I was out with friends, they saw a “candle flame like light” entering their living room window, going thru a corridor and passing thru a mirror where they saw its reflection, going to my bedroom and leaving my bedroom window and then passing through the glass like it had no matter.

One day I tried to resist one of the experiences and felt a hand grabbing my leg and throwing me into the floor – I woke up on the floor.

One day I reacted this way – I saw the light and I knew what was going to happen and I thought out loud in my head “I am not in the mood today, piss off, go away, not today” and the light vanished and nothing happened.

One day I had one of these episodes and after it happened I woke up. It was winter and my window had water leaks and water entered the room via the window and wall and soaked the carpet floor near the window and I saw small foot prints going from my bed to the window.

I had a particular episode in school, where we had a fence with a hole and we would escape to the woods nearby. On the last day of school prior to easter holidays, I remember going alone to the woods, heading to a clearing and all of the sudden I froze because I felt like something was watching me. I went into a state of complete panic and slowly limped out of the woods. Yes, limped because I had very little mobility. I was paralyzed, and when I left the woods I went back to the hole in the fence and looked back and I saw someone walking in the woods in my direction, walking not running. I could only see the legs and it had a silver suit – I ran back to school – when I met my friends it was 5 pm and they were waiting for their parents to get them but I had gone to the woods after lunch – at 2 pm and they were worried because I wasn’t anywhere to be found during that time.

In my adolescence, every night I had to see if all the windows in the house were locked with my father every night as he was paranoid that someone could invade our house through the windows and hurt us.

I was diagnosed with scoliosis, an issue with the spine where you need to take correction sessions in the gym to correct it, and i was x-rayed. The x-ray was a full body x-ray and the doctor that was following my case was puzzled when he saw the x-ray. I had an unknown object lodged in my leg bone, so I had another x-ray of the leg and there it was; I had a hole in the bone and something was there – the doctor was very worried and said that I could have bone cancer. I had to do more testing and I didn’t had cancer and a month later I had nothing – no hole or object.

At age 27 I moved to my first apartment.

I kept having the light and no light episodes then one day had an extremely violent episode where they were very violent and pushed me down in the bed while doing things in my body. I felt a hand on my head pushing me down down into he mattress and I couldn’t move. I kept yelling in my head “leave me alone, get out, stop, go away” and all of the sudden, they stop most of the hands stop touching me except the one thats on my head that stopped pushing me against the pillow and I heard my fathers voice “hey son, how are you doing, are you ok? look just relax, everything is going to be ok” – and I kinda started calming down, and then I realized “hey, I don’t live with you anymore, you’re not my father!” – and then the hands get back and start pushing me against the pillow almost like crushing my head and I hear a very loud angry “Screeech”. I woke up in panic running around my house yelling out loud “help ET ET ET” – nothing was there and well, ‘m sure my neighbors enjoyed the experience as well. The next day, I went to sleep and I see this doctor guy talking to me “hello, remember me? I was your doctor when you were a child, is all ok with you? and then his tone changes and he says – look, we need you to cooperate with us, it’s very important, a lot is at stake here, can you help us??” and I say “ok I will help” I black out and I wake up paralyzed in my bed and only my eyeballs move, and slowly I gain the control of my body – first the fingers then the arms, then the legs etc.

I used to play online. One time I was with 25 people playing world of warcraft, and suddenly, my kitchen switch flips by its own initiative and the lights of the kitchen turn on, I was playing and the record for that evening was me screaming “there is someone in my kitchen help!!! to the other 24 players”.

Nothing was in the kitchen.

I also had for some reason the mark of a hand in my kitchen wall with 5 very long fingers near the window

I met the love of my life, and we decided to move in together, and the daily episodes became less frequent.

However sometimes I get episodes that are very spaced out.

I started having what i call “grey contaminated dreams” which are normal dreams and all of a sudden a grey pops up and I wake up in panic screaming.

I do remember going to my living room one morning to have my breakfast and there are 4 grays in the table. I sit with them, drink my coffee and have an amicable chat with them “sup dudes, whats up, all good?”. I’m talking to them mentally and then I wake up.

I remember one time going to sleep, waking up on a metal table completely blurred, like if I was drugged, leaving the table and walking in metal corridors, and then I fall down and someone grabs me. With the blurry vision, I see its naked, human body, and the head, it had black eyes like the the greys, but the head was deformed, not pear-like, it was un-even, not symmetrical and the creature says “hello” and I say “leave me alone who are you?” and he says “I am your brother” and I wake up.

One time I had like pictures of stars shoved in my head with a voice asking “where are we from?” The voice changed each time I would see a different star. One moment I would hear my father or my mother or my wife or my coworker or my boss always asking where are we? The star picture changed with each question. There were red stars, blue stars, white stars, yellow stars; and finally I hear “we are here” and I see a yellow star and a close up on a planet orbiting. And then I hear “tau ceti”. I woke up and I googled tau ceti and it is a yellow star with a goldilock zone planet (candidate to support life). I was baffled. I had heard about tau ceti; i knew it was a star system but I had no idea the star was yellow and it had a life bearing planet.

We had a baby. A lovely boy named Pedro and he used to sleep between me and my wife (he is a 6 year old kid) when he was 1 month old. One night we fell asleep and when I woke up, there is a gray staring at me – at point blank range. His black eyes winked (looked like a membrane not an actual eyelid) and he just kept staring at me, and I remember thinking out loud, “not the baby, NOT the baby!” I was paralyzed but the rage got to a point where I hurled my self against him with my hands at his neck and I woke up on the floor next to the bed with a sore head because apparently I knocked my head to the wall when I pulled the stunt.

Now… is this real? I really can’t say. Maybe I’m psychotic and delusional. I have a masters degree in forensic psychology so I think I would know if I was somehow delusional.

If this is real then I don’t think these creatures are hostile or have ill intent. For some reason they accompany us for our lives and for me these experiences just became somewhat normal and regular, like drinking a cup of coffee every day, having a shower, or getting a visit from our little friends; if a gray would show up in front of me in normal terms I think I would scream in panic, and then say “oh its you” then I would introduce him to my wife and invite him for a cup of tea; thats how Im used to this. I know this sounds bipolar but thats how ambivalent I feel about this – its almost like Stockholm syndrome!

Submitted by Carlos

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