You, a philistine, probably believe that station wagons are dorky. That they always have been, and always will be. But I, a genius, know otherwise: wagons, right this moment, are actually extremely cool.

First, you should know we’re in the midst of a wagon resurgence led by the world’s swankiest car manufacturers. From BMW and Mercedes and Volvo—long-time wagon believers—to newcomers like Jaguar, Ferrari, and Porsche, the high-end has been putting a luxe sheen on this historically dweeby automotive category. These cars are all varying degrees of muscular, expensive, and off-beat handsome, like Benedict Cumberbatch. Inside they’re all leather-lined, pin-drop quiet, and technology-laden. One of them has 550-horsepower. Two of them have more.

There’s a certain timely logic to the wagon-aissance, arising just as Dad Style blossoms into a genuine high fashion movement. Dad Style, as interpreted by menswear’s leading vibe influencers, takes all the sartorial hallmarks of stereotypical dad-ness—the aversion to sleekness, the devotion to the tao of “relaxed fit,” the deep, almost sexual attraction to practicality—and then smashes them together with luxury craftsmanship. It’s important to note that individual dads aren’t cool. But their trend-oblivious ethos is what’s being absorbed and reconstituted into, ironically, fashion’s newest trend.

Thus the universal dad-love of orthopedic blobular sneakers leads to the hyper-lumpy $850 Balenciaga Triple-S, streetwear’s current must-have status symbol. Been-around-forever outdoorsy brands like Patagonia, Carhartt, and Columbia are now repped by guys who have Virgil Abloh’s cell phone number. Fishing vests don’t have to be worn while fishing, I have heard GQ senior style editor Noah Johnson exclaim. Luxury and utility and challenging aesthetics have been mashed together into coolness.

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You know what’s also luxe and useful and aesthetically unexpected? A $175,000 Porsche Panamera Turbo Sport Turismo with 550-horsepower and enough trunk space to carry a Great Dane (or three with the back seats down). It’s a wild sensation, strafing the byways of America with such an esoteric vehicle. You can see the confusion on drivers’ faces: Is that...a Porsche...station wagon...doing 90?

I also took the Jaguar XF-S Sportbrake for a weekend jaunt. It’s brawny and rakish, just like its sedan brother. The extended-length XF-S is also an automotive mullet: party up front, thanks to a gutsy 340-horsepower supercharged V-6, and business in the rear, what with almost 70 cubic feet of trunk space. Installing my kid’s car seat forced me to lie prone inside the trunk, sniper-style, my legs dangling out of the hatch. It’s cavernous in here, I noted gleefully. (Full disclosure: I’m a dad.)