Flargaret Meck is a decorated lecturer, tenured professor, esteemed faculty among one of the best computer science departments in the world. But as she erases the dusty chalkboards that teach the students discrete structures and CS173, all she can think about is her second job--her true calling.

By day, she teaches discrete structures and inductive proofs. By night, she does what’s always needed to be done: save this god-forsaken college’s Reddit thread.

R/UIUC is a place that needs guidance. It needs a sense of judgement that dictates the rights and wrongs of threads, and correctly chooses between good and evil. Meck is that judgement. She is the true reckoning. She is the voice of reason that demands, no deserves, those gold awards. There is a clear hierarchy in CU of who’s top of the stack, and it is Flargaret.

Meck sighed a breath of relief as she slouched back in her chair, exhausted from the rapid ten minutes of typing. The muscles in her Herculean typing fingers pulsed with fatigue. Being a hero is hard. “Soon Flarg,” she’d tell herself, “soon.” Flargaret’s powers were waning. She couldn’t patrol the threads at night anymore like she could when she was young. Back in the 2000’s it was different. Speaking at a conference on neurolinguistics and recent findings of image detection in data libraries, then banning some random clinical psychology majors trying to talk out on theoretical mechanics? Easy. Destroying Chancellor Jones memes to suppress revolts? Done.

But Meck wasn’t the same superhero she once was. But for tonight, her job is done. The University is safe. Her naive CS prodigies can sleep in peace on the 4th floor of Grainger.