The decade after high school, I started taking acting seriously. I screen tested for “One Life to Live” with Ola Ray, a Playboy centerfold. Blair Underwood was the actor I was up against. He got the part.

In 2010 I saw him at a party I was working as a cater-waiter. Ebony magazine was honoring celebrities who had graced its covers over the years. I had been on Ebony covers. But my job for the evening was to serve and clean up after the other celebrities. Mr. Underwood and Ms. Carroll were among the honored guests. I felt embarrassed about approaching Diahann and purposely stayed out of her sight. I had thought waiting tables was a job I would do for a summer or two in my 20s. Yet that night, at age 48 , and until last year, I was still waiting .

Not that there’s anything wrong with being a cater-waiter. It’s an honest profession. There are upsides. I’ve stood just feet away as Stevie Wonder, Sting, John Legend, Lady Gaga, Lenny Kravitz, Elton John and Katy Perry performed. I’ve tasted the finest foods prepared by famous chefs from around the world. Whenever I come across an entitled celebrity at one of these events, I remember how I was once one of them. I’m in the National Museum of African-American History and Culture, and the Smithsonian, part of our national archives. How many people can say that?

I ran into Ms. Carroll a handful of times over the years and she was always kind. I have acted intermittently in the years since “Julia” — “Cop Rock,” “Diff’rent Strokes,” “Sanford and Son” and “The Kid” — though less in the last 10 years.

Then in the fall of 2017, Ms. Carroll and I signed photographs next to each other at an autograph show near LAX airport. When I got there, one of the organizers informed me Diahann was suffering from dementia. This was the first I’d heard of it. There were no apparent signs as far as I could tell. She looked great as usual, in a black and gold outfit. She did not approve of what I was wearing. My sweatpants and bandanna look were not up to her standards. She was never shy about voicing her opinions to me, as a mother would.