Let’s get right down to it. Abolishing the minimum wage, cutting government spending – you’ve made these central platforms of your candidacy for port commissioner. Do you worry you’ve lost focus on your central issue of space exploration?

Uhh, no. So, my website says “colonize space," so anyone who goes to my blog will know I’m an advocate for the U.S. space program.

Well, I notice you haven’t mentioned space colonization in a voter’s pamphlet since 2012. What do you say to those who say "You’ve changed, Goodspaceguy?"

Well, my theory is that to have a good space program, you have to have a strong economy. It’s a strong economy with a high living standard that supports the space program. Because the space program is expensive. So with a prosperous people, a prosperous people can better afford an orbital space colonization program.

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In the past 13 years you’ve run in 13 elections…

Um, 16. This is the 16th election.

Okay, for U.S. Senate, House of Representatives, governor, King County executive and county council. When Commissioner Goodspaceguy starts at the Port of Seattle, do your colleagues need to worry about your commitment to the institution?

I don’t think so, because space involves travel, and the Port of Seattle involves travel. Now, I don’t think I’m going to advocate for any launches from the Port of Seattle into space, because it’s rather noisy.

That’s the reason?

Um, no. You mean that’s the reason…

That you wouldn’t advocate for space launches from the Port of Seattle.

Right, the noise. Unless people said they really would like the noise. But I’m guessing people would say they don’t want the noise.

Yeah, I’m guessing that as well.

So you received over 23k votes in this past election.

A lot of friends…

In one word, what are people voting for when they vote for Goodspaceguy?

Well, I think they’re voting for a higher living standard. They’re voting for someone who understands economics and understands business.

How does Commissioner Goodspaceguy plan to use the port to further the U.S. space program?

All the people of King County are the owners of the business called the Port of Seattle. So by showing we can improve the deal the people of King County is getting, that increases my credibility…

To get us towards orbital space colonies?

Right, to begin with colonies that orbit around the earth. And I want them around the earth because that’s the cheapest place to a build them for the people to learn how to colonize orbital space.

Cheaper than other planets, such as Mars.

Mars being more distant will be more expensive. And I’m an expert at keeping cost down.

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You’ve been very critical of the US government on this issue. You’ve said, and I quote, “Our leaders are not educated in orbital space colonization, and so wasted billions of dollars of our space money and a bunch of our space material.” So let’s dream together. Stardate 2024. Goodspaceguy has just been sworn in as the President of the United States of America.

Wow, that is a promotion from commissioner!

You have the keys to our space program. What’s your first move to get us to the stars?

Okay! The stars are very far way. We’re not getting to the stars. This generation of people, it’s local, our solar system near the earth. So we want to begin our colony right in orbit around Earth. So that’s where I want to get us. I want to use a capitalistic system.

And I want to take away the torture that the astronauts have to currently go through. For example, right now they have a two astronauts at the International Space Station, they’re supposed to spend more than a year? Well, human beings are sexual creatures and for two Astronauts to be up in the International Space Station without female companions is a horrible way to torture them. So the colonies should be co-ed colonies.