The Orlando Bloom-esque Ben Winchell stars as Max McGrath, a shy 16-year-old who’s sick of moving from town to town with his widowed mother, Molly (Maria Bello, whose mere presence is the only reason this movie gets half a star). At the film’s start, the two have just come back to the hometown of his late father (Mike Doyle, seen in flashbacks), a scientist who died long ago in a mysterious, explosive accident. Dad’s former partner, Miles (Andy Garcia, hamming it up big-time), who’s now in charge of the company the two built together, arrives soon afterward to help them get settled.

In no time, Max starts discovering that weird things are happening in his body—like, he can shoot blue-tinted streaks of liquid energy from his fingertips. Appliances start malfunctioning when he’s around, and sometimes he just straight-up blows things up by accident, like a boom box or a lamp.

Thankfully, another visitor shows up to explain things: a drone-like, blue-eyed alien named Steel. He’s voiced by Josh Brener in cheeky, snarky tones that are occasionally amusing but mostly annoying. (Although—credit where it’s due—the visual effects are pretty seamless in incorporating the flying Steel into Max’s world.)

Steel trains Max to control his newfound powers in an abandoned factory where he has plenty of room to do flips and tricks off beams and ledges. It’s like Kevin Bacon’s angry dance in “Footloose,” only not nearly as entertaining. Once Max is feeling confident, Steel shows him what they can achieve when they physically join forces. When they do, they become a superhero known as … wait for it … MAX STEEL, complete with head-to-toe body armor, super strength, flying abilities and a chest beaming with energy. He’s essentially Iron Teen—without the benefit of clever, witty quips.