Posted 28 June 2016 - 02:25 PM



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14 years ago today, I met up with my friend Fred from highschool and we modified a nerf blaster, committed an act of petty larceny, and signed up for a Geocities account. The blaster was actually a Super Soaker XP 150 modified to shoot nerf darts, the theft was a garden gnome from the garage-sale addicted hoarder down the street, and the Geocities account was for the LGLF homepage . 5 weeks later we joined up with one of my nephews (Left Nut) and found ourselves at the first annual Apocalypse nerf war, where we met Vacc and Spoon (the original founders of NerfHaven), One Man Clan, and the members of the Lawn Chair Mafia nerf clan. A couple of weeks after that we hosted our own war, and called it GnomeFEST. We were the baddest group of toy-gun-toting dorks in New Jersey.Over the next few years I met Talio and we all went on a road trip down to the D.C. area to nerf with Crankymonky and Groove (Edit: yes, and THIRST.). Shortly after that, Hasbro sent a designer and an engineer out to a GnomeFEST to meet us, and they recruited Talio and One Man Clan into an early version of their Nerf Ambassador program. The designer from Hasbro is still working there, leading the team on the Rebelle line. We nerfed around Philadelphia and some paintball field in bumfuck Delaware, and had a few more Apocs and GnomeFESTS. Around 2005 One Man Clan agreed to pick up some kid from Hoboken who he'd never met on the way to a war. They sat in uncomfortable silence for about an hour as OMC wondered how this guy was going to load a nerf gun with only one arm. That guy was JLego, and he turned out to be the fastest most impossible to hit nerfer at that event. We met lots of other people over the years, and some drifted away or stopped nerfing, including Fred, and then eventually, me.When I came back in early 2008 after a two year hiatus, I reconnected with Talio and JLego, and they introduced me to some new guy named Splitlip. We all agreed to carpool down to a DCNO later that spring, and in an alcohol fueled surge of collective nostalgia, the four of us decided to re-boot the LGLF. A month later Talio joined the Mag7 in the worst act of betrayal on American soil since Benedict Arnold. But that was okay, because we would add Muttonchops in 2009 and Gears in 2010. Our old allies Crankymonky and Groove would both join us in 2011, and (though he'll deny it) TED joined in around 2012.Over the years we traveled all over the east coast, to Maryland and Virginia, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Toronto and Chicago. We went to Penn State for Humans vs Zombies, and some of us flew out for Armageddon in Los Angeles. We made a lot of friends on those trips, and even more came out to visit us every year at Apoc. We met the Sex Dwarves of Pittsburgh, and the U3 and Rainbow Clans from Chicago. We played with nerfers from Ohio, Minnesota, Oregon, Washington, Georgia and Florida. We helped host Geddon, DCNOs, ECNOs and NENOs. We ate Hasbro's Pizza and we drank their beer. We busted UIN13s balls, hit on Lord Draconical's girlfriend and pooped in Forsaken Angel's toilet.I got a little carried away there. What was I saying? Oh yeah.I love this clan, and the people who are in it. It's been an incredible 14 year journey and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I know we're scattered all over the country now, and I'm well past my nerf expiration date, but I'll keep going if you do. Thanks guys.-LangleyThere are some more photos I dug up in this album on facebook: https://www.facebook...59315644&type=3