BEARD: We can send a man to the moon, but we can't make an ice cream sandwich that doesn't get my hands dirty?



SCIENCE: Yeah, we sent a man to the moon, but what have writers given us? Othello, Macbeth, and Hamlet were all written by one person! Where's your King Lear? Oh, is it kind of hard to do? Well, so is science! We can't solve all the problems at once!



HOBO: You know, I read that they're not even sure who invented the ice cream sandwich.

BEARD: Lazy historians.



