Last night, the Chicago rapper CupcakKe sent out an Instagram Live video in which she claims that she’s retiring completely from the music industry. She claims that she’s ending her current tour, which started earlier this month. She also says that she’s going to remove all of her music from every streaming platform. In the 18-minute video, CupcakKe is visibly distressed, frequently breaking down in tears, speaking to a camera while wrapped in what appears to be a hotel bedsheet. It’s very disturbing.

Earlier this year, CupcakKe was hospitalized after tweeting that she was “about to commit suicide.” (After her hospitalization, she thanked fans, writing that she is getting the help she needs.) Last month, she announced her 10k Tour, in which she would give away $10,000 to random fans over the course of the tour. And she just released a new track called “Grilling N****s” last Friday. Since posting the video, she has deleted her Twitter and all of her posts on Instagram. She is scheduled to perform at the Masquerade in Atlanta tonight, and the venue’s website, at least right now, says nothing about the show being cancelled.

In the video that she posted last night, CupcakKe, visibly in tears, opens up by saying, “So this Live is going to be the last video that y’all will see of me.” She goes on: “I will no longer be doing music, and all of my music will be coming off of every platform.” She also says that her tour is cancelled, effective immediately.

In the video she claims that she’s ashamed of the music she’s released, much of which is extremely sexual: “I feel as though I’m corrupting the youth… I want to go to heaven after this, and I don’t want to go to hell. Just seeing all-age kids at the shows, seeing them sing along to ‘hump me’ and ‘fuck me’ and all this shit, it has torn me apart. I’m just not happy. I don’t want to be around no one right now… It’s wrong. And even if it’s OK for y’all, it’s not OK with me… I want to be normal again.” She thanks fans and apologizes for letting them down.

In the video, CupcakKe says that, even when she raps about non-sexual topics, the sexual music is what gets the most attention. She also feels that “the media” won’t take her seriously because of her body. And she says that she has “a very bad gambling addiction” and that she recently lost $700,000 in a casino, which allowed her to see that the people around her are using her.

Here’s the video, via XXL:

As I’m writing this, CupcakKe’s music is still on streaming services.