Things got off to a slow start when my original gifter was forced to use the present he'd bought me to fight off a gang of crowbar-wielding Presbyterian home invaders - he told me it was such an ordeal that he no longer wanted any part of this Reddit business.

Cut to yesterday and I've been rematched with, no hyperbole, the greatest and most significant human to ever walk the earth, sookybabi. (I am assuming she's human...though I have never before come across one that reached her levels of syrillicity).

This woman sent me a roast chicken-scented Christmas card with jelly beans on the front and binary in the middle that took two years for her to write.

She also:

Indulged my manly pursuit of cross-stitch *Fed me delicious German cornflake chocolate *Aided my quest to get throat and mouth cancer *in style *Provided a wallet-sized tool to protect against drop bears *Covered my nakedness

Everything had little explanatory notes with stickers and pretty handwriting and ribbons.

sookybabi, thank you so much. You are a fantastic person and you've brought me a great deal of joyful delight. Really.

-Also- despite wearing out two keyboards trying to decode the binary text, all I could get was this:

"Dear gorian_dray, Hope you are well! May ?????

lol, ????? you have an enormo ?????"