I want to welcome a new resident to Kingston: Lucy DeCoutere.

She used to be an actor, now is stationed at Canadian Forces Base Kingston, but more importantly, she is a lynchpin for activism in ending violence against women.

I don’t remember exactly the first time I met Lucy, but it was when I was living in Toronto many years ago. I was an avid viewer of the Canadian TV series The Trailer Park Boys. The Halifax resident played the character of Lucy on the show “¦ a sort of strong, trailer park-residing, lovable character that viewers empathized with and cheered on.

I recall meeting her at some work-related functions and music events. We had some lunches and dinners and talked a lot.

I remember a lunch we were having on a Queen Street patio in Toronto in 2002 or 2003 when a bunch of guys came over. “Oh my gawd! Bill Welychka! Wow “¦ and is that Lucy from The Trailer Park Boys? Cool! Can we have some pictures!?”

We happily obliged.

A week later, a friend pointed out to me an online TPB fan forum message board where it stated that Lucy and I were seen dating. Hahaha!

Ummm, no. We were always just friends.

Lucy eventually departed the Trailer Park Boys franchise of TV and feature films. It sadly brought an online swarm of negativity to her life.

As life goes, sometimes people move and they lose contact.

Social media kept me up to date with Lucy while she and other brave females stepped forward and were in a public battle with then CBC golden boy Jian Ghomeshi. The well-publicized 2016 trial found Jian acquitted of five of the charges of sexual harassment or assault. Ghomeshi would eventually sign a peace bond and apologized to one of his accusers. The trial and aftermath of much needed dialogue was way before the #MeToo movement.

Lucy recently moved to Kingston.

I asked my friend to join me at the Gord Downie tribute benefit concert on July 20.

We had a great reunion. I loved that people swarmed her with hugs and much affection. She was warm and generous with everyone at the event.

We met again on a recent sunny day at Breakwater Park to go swimming. I did the swimming, but Lucy did the talking.

Lucy was brought to Kingston for her new job. “I am at CFB with the Royal Canadian Air Force. I am a training development officer and we move every few years. Prior to here, I was stationed [at home] in Halifax. There are some similarities with Kingston and Halifax — both have waterfronts but one is saltier than the other. Kingston has a big city feel, but when I talk to complete strangers, they allow me to pet their dogs. Big cities don’t have that jam! Everyone here is friendly.

“I spent this morning riding around Wolfe Island. The trip was punctuated with cinnamon buns “¦ it is paradise!”

Aside from The Trailer Park Boys, Lucy has a lengthy array of TV and film credits under her belt.

Will she ever return to acting?

“Acting is way deep in the past. Locked away. It seems a lifetime ago, but occasionally I’ll read negative stupid stuff like death threats and rape threats [for walking away from TPB]. By the miracle of social media, it has furthered my resolve in leaving the entertainment industry. It got really dark when I left the TV show.”

I asked about the positive side of social media. It can sometimes bring people together.

“A lot of women, after hearing about me being sexually assaulted, started sharing their stories of being sexually assaulted. I heard from females across Canada and the world. Yes, bringing people together who might feel they’re alone is a great thing.”

I reminded her that men need to be part of the conversation. It takes men to remind men about respect and boundaries, and men need to be involved in ending violence towards women.

Lucy added, “For a long time, men would never talk about it. Now some are. Men have to engage. I have no problem talking about it. But some men might. Social media can be good, but it’s finding the balance and activism. There’s a huge balance. I like social media for a great cheesecake recipe.”

Lucy explained the sad side of social media. She told me about a recent online message to her, stating, ‘Hey, Lucy, want to bang?’

“Usually I don’t engage, but I was so angry,” she said. “I replied, ‘On what planet is that OK?’

“It’s never OK to be fundamentally rude, hostile and objectifying “¦ whether in person or behind a fake name online. It’s invasive. I have learned the hard way about gender-role disparity.”

Lucy is also a big supporter of Canadian music, as I am.

She wants to bring the “Side Door Access” model to Kingston (www.sidedooraccess.com).

“I want to immerse myself into the Kingston music community. The best way for me is to introduce Sidedoor. It connects people and music fans with travelling musicians and new artists in between cities,” she said. “Artists touring Canada have a difficult time. There are many stops along the way to the next gig. This new venture features artists playing in people’s backyards or living rooms while on tour in an unplugged and intimate setting. This will only make Kingston a jewel in the Canadian music scene, even more than it is.”

Lucy and I were steps from the Gord Edgar Downie Pier. It reminded me of her connection to music, and specifically Gord.

“I met Gord Downie through The Trailer Park Boys TV show. The Hip and our show were eventually woven together. The Hip guys were big fans of the show. We were big fans of The Hip. Whenever Gord and I spoke, I was aware he was dangerously smart and intimidatingly cool. Whatever I said to him was sort of bananas, but he would match the bananas and add even more fruit. He had a knack for making you think you were the only person in the room while dozens were around.”

Lucy enjoyed the location for our fun afternoon.

“I love that this Breakwater Park area exists and the pier being named after Gord. It makes so much sense,” she said. “He loved the water, his lyrics were fluid, The Hip’s music brought people together, this pier is bringing people together. It’s perfect.”

Welcome to Kingston, Lucy! You’re already fitting in.

The Kingston Whig-Standard 2018 ©