Mr Gove was extraordinarily arrogant.

Painfully arrogant.

He believed that he knew how everything should be done. He believed that everyone else in the world was stupid and ignorant.

The problem was, Mr Gove himself was the one who was ignorant.

He got most of his information from his own, misty, memory.

He thought he remembered what it had been like when he had been at school – and assumed that everyone else’s school should be the same.

He remembered the good things about his own school days, and thought that everyone should have the same.

He remembered the bad things about his own school days, and thought that it hadn’t done him any harm – and that other children should suffer the way that he had.

He got other information by reading newspapers.

The problem was, he read the wrong newspapers.

He read the ones that told stories that weren’t true, and he believed them.

He read the ones that said that teachers were all bad people, and he believed them.

He read the ones that said all academics were namby-pamby and trendy, and he believed them.

Now some people tried to argue with Mr Gove.

They produced this strange stuff called ‘evidence’. Mr Gove didn’t like evidence – particularly evidence that showed that Mr Gove’s ideas were bad, or that Mr Gove’s stories weren’t true.

So what did Mr Gove do?

Simple.

Mr Gove ignored the evidence.

It was easy! Mr Gove didn’t need evidence, because he knew better than everyone else. And Mr Gove told the newspapers stories to ‘prove’ that he was right. And the newspapers printed these stories, because they wanted Mr Gove to be right.

And Mr Gove was happy

Why not? He was in charge.

And he knew better than everyone else.

So all was right with the world.

Words by me, art by @KaiserOfCrisps

A ‘dramatic reading’ of Mr Gove, by @Elmyra, can be found here….