A feminist picnic turned into a complete disaster yesterday after none of the women brought any sandwiches.

The picnic was supposed to celebrate the capabilities of women in a safe, women-only environment, but things didn’t quite go as planned.

With the sun hanging high in the sky it seemed to be perfect weather for a picnic. But the seven proud feminist friends were in for a big surprise when none of them brought any food at all.

‘I brought a communal picnic hamper for us to all throw in the food we’d brought. I was expecting the usual picnic fare: sandwiches, crisps, a nice fruit salad, and so on – but no-one else brought a single thing. Not so much as a sausage. I was even more furious about my lot in life than usual. I ended up storming off and shame eating three Big Macs from the nearest McDonalds. I’m a vegetarian so it was particularly galling for me to have to do that,’ said picnic organiser Rachel Queen.

The other six women refused to accept the responsibility though, each loudly proclaiming that making sandwiches wasn’t a job exclusively for women. They all managed to turn the blame for the gigantic cock up onto men.

‘Men have turned food preparation into a subservient role to be forced upon women. I never make my own food, that is just one of the many interesting ways I fight the patriarchy,’ said non-sandwich maker Roberta Brooke.

All future feminist picnics have been cancelled.