22-32-22. But which way do you turn it first?

This always looks so easy in the movies… a quick spin one way, a twirl back the other and you’ve cracked the combination. But no. After 15 minutes and counting, all I’ve succeeded in doing is getting myself as wound up as the mechanism inside this damned padlock. Clearly, if I had a stethoscope, everything would be fine.

All I have to do is open a gate. I briefly consider employing the services of the device behind me. It’s called a Dodge Ram 2500. Less of the Dodge, more of the Ram, I’m thinking.

Pictures: Webb Bland

This feature originally appeared in the November issue of Top Gear Magazine