I’VE made some very powerful enemies recently. In fact if you’re reading this and you haven’t seen me on the news for a couple of nights, I may be in a galaxy far, far away having been abducted by the Death Star.

You see I foolishly used a rare appearance on Studio 10 to make a disparaging remark about Star Wars fans.

It was a cheap shot and I’d like to take this opportunity to apologise. Please don’t attack me with your light sabers or your army of storm troopers or hate me like you hate Jar Jar Binks. (I’ve absorbed enough through my husband to at least know the central characters).

The world has gone crazy over a two-minute preview of the seventh instalment in the franchise, The Force Awakens. I heard the president of some national Star Wars fan club confess he cried when he watched it. He is an adult. And apparently he has a wife, in case you’re wondering.

media_camera Rebecca Morse admits she took a cheap shot at Star Wars fans.

The presale ticket release crashed websites and smashed records, making it the most eagerly anticipated film in history. The midnight screenings have been the most popular, because it’s a novelty for Star Wars fans to be out late. Oops, I did it again.

I know I’m easily confused but I just don’t understand the order of it. Who is whose father, who is on whose side, who started out good and ended up evil and what the hell is going on with the men’s wardrobes and women’s hairstyles.

In fact, while I’m making enemies willy nilly, I may as well confess I don’t like Star Trek, Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones either.

The latter in particular must be the most popular TV show in the world right now and my husband is among those obsessed. But every time I look at the screen, someone is getting beheaded or there’s some sordid business going on that makes Luke and Leia’s relationship seem positively conventional.

Maybe I’m just a bit envious I’m not part of the sci-fi/fantasy gang. Maybe deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties (A Few Good Men is one of my favourites) I wish I could strap bagels to the side of my head and quote the wisdom of Yoda.

But it’s OK, don’t pity me. I do experience cinematic joy. I can relate to excitement over a movie franchise. I was beside myself when I heard Carrie and the girls were taking Sex and the City to the big screen and when Charlotte told Big she cursed the day he was born, I cried like a baby. I cried for a different reason watching the stinker of a sequel.

I will grant you this Star Warriors, you must have a sense of humour, the way you worked out May the Fourth sounds like May the Force (Be With You) if you had a lisp, so you made it your national day of talking about Luke Skywalker and stuff.

Cool.

But what I really want to know is, on December 17, when the latest instalment is released, what will we do if something goes wrong with our computers while all the geeks are in the cinema?

I think I hear the Death Star coming for me now.

Follow Rebecca (but please, be nice to her) on Twitter @rebeccamorse10