Editor’s Note: In the recent Patheos Public Square article Dan Dennett and I wrote, we predicted (among other things) that secularism would grow as more people progressed from religious belief to spiritual-but-not-religious to agnosticism to atheism. In this post, “Preston” responded to some questions I asked about how former clergy let go of their beliefs.

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Linda: What was your progression from religious to not religious? What stages did you go through and in what order?

Preston: I’d like to think of my progression from Christian Fundamentalism to Agnosticism similar to a stack of Jenga Blocks.

As a former fundamentalist (Southern Baptist), the various blocks removed ultimately seem to lead to a much deeper philosophical world-view collapse than occurs in other denominations. Biblical Inerrancy was at the core of my belief system and it took a while to completely end. But eventually I reasoned that all I believed to be true was just a superstitious lie – a 35 year mythological journey through life. It was very unpleasant disconnecting and rewiring those hard-wired fundamentalist connections in my brain. It was a metaphorical collapse of all that I once held true.

First block pulled from the stack: Biblical mythology

I remember the moment in 1995 that I realized that the story of Noah’s Ark was just an ancient hand-me-down ridiculous mythological tale.

I was a youth minister in a small Southern Baptist Church when a student asked:

“What did all the carnivores eat on Noah’s Ark for the entire year?”

I stumbled for a few seconds trying to give the best answer I could, but I knew that there could never be a sufficient answer to such a simple question. Any answer paled in comparison to the obvious: IT NEVER HAPPENED.

Second block pulled from the stack: shift from creationism to evolution

I then became obsessed with trying to make sense of Genesis One and Two. I found no rational answers to the creation stories, the order of creation and the irrational babble of talking snakes. After gaining a real understanding of natural selection and evolution, I began to dismiss creationism as a possibility of the origin of life.

Third block pulled from the stack: shift to a liberal theology

Still grasping to the idea of a god who loves and cares for humanity, I clutched on to the teachings of Jesus and dismissed the Old Testament entirely as well as much of the Epistles. I thought that God would surely be more moral than the hate and anger displayed in the Old Testament. I saw too much bronze-age barbarism and not enough of a moral god.

Fourth block pulled from the stack: reading the Bible from cover to cover

One day I decided that I needed to know what was in it. I had cherry- picked the Bible my entire life without bothering to actually read it like a book. When I began, a beautifully horrid, mythical world opened up that I had never seen before. By the time I got to Judges, I realized that my life was built on a fictional god no different than any other mythological god. I was destroyed. I kept it a secret. I didnt know how to talk about my new religious thoughts. I lived in the heart of the Bible Belt!

Fifth block pulled from the stack: letting go of hell.

I don’t think that Christianity would have survived the third or fourth century without the eternal death threat. For most Christians, this deeply kept fear is difficult to shake. I remember at age six that my mother made me watch a video from church of a man engulfed in hell’s tormenting flames because he refused to “accept Jesus as Savior.” I was scared out of my mind. The thought of eternal torment kept me in line and made me want to warn others about the wrath that awaited them if they didn’t believe in Jesus.

But once I began to step outside the Christian mindset, I finally came to a peaceful place in my life. I realized that hell could not be possible. There could be no cosmic “being” who would create people, express deep love for them and then eternally torment many of them forever. It’s pure madness to think that is even possible. When I finally let that go, I could comfortably say,

I am NOT A CHRISTIAN.

Even then, however, I didn’t know what I was or where my beliefs fit.

Sixth and final block pulled from the stack: Matt Dilahunty and other prominent atheists

I caught his show, The Atheist Experience, on Roku one day when I was home alone and was fascinated!

Matt Dilahunty was the first person I ever heard of who had experienced my same philosophical and scientific journey out of Christianity. And he was great at reasoning his way through anything callers or guests threw at him. Then I learned of others — Teresa McBain, Bart Ehrman, Seth Andrews, Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, John Loftus and many more. They all made perfect sense! Those thoughts I’d pondered since 1995 were finally verified in these people. Thats when all the blocks finally came crashing down. Until I realized there were others like me, I thought I was the problem or that something was wrong with me. After my long journey I was thankful to be associated with such great freethinkers.

Linda: Do you agree with the progression Dan Dennett and I presented? Why or why not?

Preston: I think the move to a more secular society is just around the corner. I definitely agree that the internet has opened the door to reason and rationality. The ability to see so many others who have similar feelings and ideas was never possible before. The days of lynch mobs and burning at the stake, both physically and metaphorically, still linger, but are mainly in the past. Like any progressive movement (slavery, civil rights, gay marriage), I think the move to a secular humanist society is inevitable.

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Bio: “Preston” is a former Christian musician, youth minister, summer missionary, Christian novelist and apologist. He lives in the heart of the Bible Belt. He has four children and is a public school teacher and coach. In 2011 Preston joined the Clergy Project to find support in a community of current former clergy who share similar experiences.

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