If anyone you know is suffering from symptoms below, offer emotional support now. 2020 may be too late. If in the presence of Alyssa Milano or CNN staff, don't mention the word “collusion,” speak no Russian, don't carry an orange.

The following scientific taxonomy simply identifies those afflicted with Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS). Congress is currently investing in progressive research into a cure known as impeachment, but no permanent remedies are expected to be available for 18 months, at least.

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Grandiose delusions

TDS sufferers are not Democrat supporters in temporary political opposition, they are the Resistance.

- Build a wall, we'll tear it down!- Build a Dictatorship, we'll tear it apart!- Build a Lie, we'll debunk it!- Build a Cult, we'll defuse it!- Build an Environment of Hate, we'll create an Environment of Love!We are the Resistance!We will REBUILD America!We will RESIST! — Ed Krassenstein (@EdKrassen) March 9, 2019

We shall overcome — Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) March 3, 2019

Some ask me why I wear my white coat during my YouTube videos. First of all, I earned it by graduating at the top of my medical school class with nearly all honors. Nobody can erase that. Secondly, it’s a symbol of protest that we live in a country where speaking out has a cost. — Eugene Gu, MD (@eugenegu) March 1, 2019

Compulsive revenge fantasies

Trump is not going to be beaten in an election. He is going to be impeached. He is going to be spending his last years in a jumpsuit as orange as his face. His heart will explode.

Donald Trump's day so far:- His campaign manager Paul Manafort just got sent to prison- The other judge will tack on an additional ten years- Trump continues to be dismantled by the day- We're closer to ousting him than ever- Trump is going to prison- It's still only 10pm — Palmer Report (@PalmerReport) March 8, 2019

Victim mentality

The sufferer may be a multi-millionaire celebrity with views endorsed by nearly all of the media establishment. But they are in anguish. Do not be afraid to tell a TDS sufferer that they are one – they will readily agree with you, and blame Donald Trump for a wide range of symptoms.

On Presidents Day, I’d like to thank the Trump family for my awakening. It drove me to see a psychiatrist, unwrap my own personal injuries, write a book, and film a documentary on white privilege. I am awake because of this presidency, and I choose to stay that way. — Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) February 18, 2019

If not at a personal disadvantage, the sufferer may appropriate pain of other victim groups.

I’m trans. I’m a person of color. I’m an immigrant. I’m a lesbian. I’m a gay man. I’m the disabled.I’m everything. And so are you, Kirk. Don’t be afraid of what you don’t know or understand. No one wants to hurt you. We are all just looking for our happily ever after. https://t.co/znkQizV37k — Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) March 9, 2019

Denial

Trump is #notmypresident and must not be “normalized.” Reality: Donald Trump has been the US president since January 2017, for over two years.

The word ‘president’ followed by the word ‘Trump’ has never left my mouth or been typed by my fingers and never ever fucking will. — Ally Maynard (@missmayn) March 10, 2019

Black-and-white thinking

There is still good in Darth Vader, but Donald Trump has no redeeming qualities. On the other hand, anyone who has ever opposed him – from Stormy Daniels to John McCain – is a hero.

A FEW BOOKS ABOUT TRUMPA CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER IT’S EVEN WORSE THAN YOU THINK THE THREATHOUSE OF TRUMP HOUSE OF PUTINTHE DANGEROUS CASE OF DONALD TRUMP EVERYTHING TRUMP TOUCHES DIESTEAM OF VIPERSUNHINGEDTRUMP MUST GOSEE WHERE I’M GOING WITH THIS? pic.twitter.com/Hn4mb8VJFW — Ladyhawker (@ladyhawkerfinds) March 3, 2019

Donald Trump: "America first" The KKK: "America first" — Paul Solomon (@FrankTheDoorman) March 6, 2019

Impaired judgement

Is this a routine government policy I disagree with, or IS IT THE WORST THING EVER?

You can't argue w/ Trump supporters. They'e racists, liars and hypocrites. Treat them as if they're wearing a swastika or white hood. The way to deal w/ them is to ban them from your home and social life, if possible. Don't do business with them, normalize or "tolerate" them. — Cheri Jacobus (@CheriJacobus) March 8, 2019

For many children, school lunch is the only meal they eat all day. Trump’s budget would cut $1.7 billion from child nutrition and eliminate food assistance for millions—literally taking food out of kids’ mouths.This is not humane. This budget isn’t humane. He is not humane. — Ilhan Omar (@IlhanMN) March 12, 2019

Lack of emotional control

This.

Bonus fact: Janna DeVylder did not live in the United States at the time of the 2016 election. Expats often suffer the wildest cases of TDS.

Threats

Mostly of leaving the country. Can be safely ignored.

Conspiratorial tendencies

Wikileaks, Internet Research Agency, Cambridge Analytica, tax returns, Michael Flynn, Michael Cohen, Michael Avenatti, Stormy Daniels, Nastya Rybka, Oleg Deripaska, Paul Manafort’s ostrich jacket, Ivanka Trump spa in Moscow, the woman who owned the spa that Robert Kraft went to, who sold it six years ago, and was then photographed with Trump in 2019. Don’t you see how the puzzle fits?

Donald Trump’s press conference performance in Helsinki rises to & exceeds the threshold of “high crimes & misdemeanors.” It was nothing short of treasonous. Not only were Trump’s comments imbecilic, he is wholly in the pocket of Putin. Republican Patriots: Where are you??? — John O. Brennan (@JohnBrennan) July 16, 2018

2/ I'm seeing, on TV, a perceptible slide into some sort of resignation about a Paul Manafort pardon—even though it would be criminal Obstruction of Justice and one of the most obscene actions taken by any president in the history of the presidency. We *cannot* lie down on this. — Seth Abramson (@SethAbramson) March 11, 2019

Loss of moral compass

Michael Cohen was a no-good liar for Trump, but against Trump he never lies. Insinuation, omission, unproven claims and outright fabrications, are 'fake news', unless they are about Trump, in which case they serve a purpose. Uncontrolled immigration is bad, but if Trump wants to stop it, let them all in. Peace talks with nuclear rogue states are good, but if Trump is leading them, they are worse than bomb tests.

Apocalypticism

The patient believes that the economy will collapse, lynchings will return, World War III will start, the Pope’s robes will alight with blinding fire. In fact, all these things might already be happening (see: Impaired judgement).

Igor Ogorodnev