The Informer’s 2014 MLB Fantasy Baseball Preview

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“Informer the 2014 Major League Baseball Season starts on Monday: When are you going to do a fantasy baseball preview?”

Here is the thing figment of my imagination; The Informer has not played fantasy baseball in five years so a fantasy baseball preview probably wouldn’t be all that informative. Sadly, it would just be one big long article where The Informer makes jokes about not knowing players names.



You see, the problem The Informer has with fantasy baseball is the everyday grind of the season combined with the NBA Playoffs(The playoffs last the first three months of the baseball season) and the start of football season (The last two months of the baseball season is NFL fantasy draft season/start of the regular season) makes following fantasy baseball too hard.

Plus, since the MLB outlawed steroids The Informer has made the conscious decision to no longer watch any baseball after opening day (The Informer does love the first Monday of the baseball season).

“Come on Informer, are you really going to turn down the opportunity to do a fantasy auction draft? Just open up a couple of Natties and spend three hours in front of your computer ignoring your family.”

Well . . . When you put it that way how can The Informer say no?

So here is the deal, for this auction draft The Informer took the “pay for as many well known players as possible” approach and then filled out the back half of his roster with $1 players.

Normally this strategy would be the perfect way to build a team; unfortunately in this case, since The Informer does not follow baseball, the back half of my team ended up with guys named “Smoak-Monster” and Devin Mesoraco (Who?).

Honestly, even though the back half of The Informer’s team is thin, my roster turned out pretty darn good considering I am a novice baseball fan at best. In fact, The Informer actually thinks his team is good enough to win the pennant.

Anyways, without any further ado Felipe Alou here is The Informer’s 2014 Auction Draft Fantasy Baseball Team.

1. Los Angeles Angels OF Mike Trout ($55)

First things first, The Informer should explain that he did a standard ESPN auction draft which allows for $260 to be spent on 25 players. So spending $55 dollars on one player is a bit of a stretch, but in The Informer’s mind any time you do an auction draft you need to buy one of the two best players available no matter the cost (this rule applies for any and all fantasy sport auction drafts).

The reason you need to follow this rule is because over the course of a 162 game season you are going to want to have a stud player you can count on to provide points on a near nightly basis. Well, for the past two years in baseball no one has been better at getting nightly points than Mike Trout.

Needless to say, spending $55 dollars on a 23-year old fish named Mike was a no-brainer in The Informer’s eyes.

2. Detroit Tigers 3B Miguel Cabrera ($48)

The Informer — like everyone else — worries about spending money on a guy who just signed a 300 million dollar contract. He also worries about spending money on a guy who has been known to have weight issues and “alleged” alcohol issues after said guy just signed a #300 MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT.

With that said, The Informer does not feel bad about spending money on a guy who two years ago won the Triple Crown and who last year almost won the Triple Crown.

For those that do not know what the Triple Crown is, it is a fictitious award given to a player when said player hits the most home runs, drives in the most RBI and has the highest batting average during the course of an entire MLB season.

Now believe it or not homers, RBI and hits (batting average) are how you score points in fantasy baseball. So obviously it would be pretty wise to buy the guy who has a chance to lead the league in all three categories.

On top of that, after the first two picks The Informer has the two best offensive fantasy players and he still has money to spend. Maybe this fantasy baseball stuff is not as hard as The Informer thought. Now all we need to do is pick up some pitching.

3. Los Angeles Dodgers SP Clayton Kershaw ($35)

Boom . . . The Informer just bought himself the 2013 CY Young Award winner.

The Informer does not know much about fantasy baseball anymore, but even he knows that any team with the two best offensive players and this generation’s Sammy Koufax has to be somewhat decent.

(Editor’s note – We are all pretty sure The Informer meant Sandy Koufax.)

4. Cincinnati Reds 1B Joey Votto ($24)

Correct me if I am wrong, but wasn’t Joey Votto the National League MVP two seasons ago? Maybe it was three seasons ago (It was 2010), but either way he is a 28-year old slugger playing in a hitter friendly ball park.

So yea . . . Sign me up for $24.

(The Informer note– Turns out Votto is actually 30-years old and his numbers have dipped each of the past two seasons. Again, this is why guys who don’t watch baseball should not be doing fantasy baseball draft previews. If you are smart save the $24 dollars on Votto and use it to pick up Atlanta Braves stud Freddie Freeman who is currently going for around $17.)

5. Washington Nationals OF Bryce Harper ($24)

There was absolutely zero chance in France that the Washington Nationals young phenom Bryce Harper was not going to be on The Informer’s team. To be honest, The Informer would have spent well over $50 to get him.

Since everyone is probably waiting for it, here is a bold “The Informer doesn’t watch baseball” prediction: Harper is going to win the 2014 National League MVP Award.

6. Cleveland Indians SP Justin Masterson ($5)

The Informer drafted Justin Masterson because he was cheap and he is a starting pitcher. Masterson is actually one of the Cleveland Indians starters, right?

7. Los Angeles Dodgers OF Matt Kemp ($13)

Sleeper Alert . . . Sleeper Alert . . . Sleeper Alert . . . If Matt Kemp stays healthy he will win this league for The Informer. To me that possibility makes this a great use of $13.

8. Boston Red Sox Paul Middlebrooks ($5)

Is his name Paul? Is it Will? Maybe it is Tom? That is it, Tom Middlebrooks.



The Informer honestly has no idea. In fact, The Informer doesn’t even know what position this dude plays. Right now all we know is he supposedly plays for the Boston Red Sox and he only cost me the equivalent of a six pack of Natty Light tall boys.

(The Informer note – Turns out the dudes name is Will Middlebrooks. Who knew?)



9. Philadelphia Phillies OF Domonic Brown ($10)

The Informer may have been drunk last summer, but wasn’t Domonic Brown one of the better young players in the game? If this is the Domonic Brown who The Informer thinks it is, then he was a steal for $10.

10. Washington Nationals SP Stephen Strasburg ($19)

No The Informer does not plan on keeping the “Stras” on a pitch count. However, that does bring up a very important question: Do the Washington Nationals still keep Stephen Strasburg on a pitch count? Or did they finally realize that shutting down your best player during a pennant race is about as dumb as walking into a Blimpies and not ordering The Blimpie Best? #RookieMistakeBro



Anyways, after picking up the Washington ace The Informer is now sending out Trout, Miggy, Kershaw, Strasburg, Votto, Harper, Masterson, Kemp, Middlebrooks and Brown as his main fantasy team.

Call me crazy, but that is not a bad 10 to play fake baseball with.

Here is the problem though; there are 25 guys on a fantasy roster.

Now if The Informer new anything about baseball — other than steroids made it a better game — then he would have been able to fill out the remaining 15 players with sleepers and steals.

Unfortunately, since The Informer hasn’t watched since his favorite team Ken Griffey Jr. retired, The Informer had to pick up guys he either doesn’t know, or who are about four years past being good fantasy players.

Trust me, it is not a good combination.

Here is my remaining roster; Neil Walker 2B Pittsburgh Pirates ($2), New York Yankees SP Michael Pineda($1), Los Angeles Angeles SP Ervin Santana ($3), Jose Veras(Don’t know his position or team sorry, $2), San Francisco Giants SP Tim Lincecum ($1), SP Ubaldo Jimenez ($1, does he play for the Indians?), Boston Red Sox SP Jake Peavy ($3), Coco Crisp($2),Cleveland Indians SS Asdrubal Cabrera ($1), Los Angeles Angeles 2B Howard Kendrick ($1), Zach Wheeler ($1), John Lacky ($1), C Devin Mesoraco ($1), Seattle Mariners 1B Justin Smoak ($1) and Houston Astros Chris Carter($1).

The first thing The Informer thinks when looking at the remaining players is that he really likes the Pineda guy from the Yankees. Do you all remember two years ago when he was supposed to be the heir apparent to King Felix in Seattle? Now he is flying under the radar on a much better New York squad.

Also Ervin Santana and Jake Peavy seem to be solid pitchers. And wasn’t Jimenez once a Cy Young winner? Finally, if Tim Lincecum turns back into Tim Lincecum then The Informer may have a seriously stacked starting pitching staff.

You will notice The Informer said “starting pitching staff” because for some reason there does not appear to be any closers on his roster. Once again, The Informer has been out of the game for awhile, but having no closers sure seems to be a slight disadvantage when trying to accumulate points for saves.

Then again ESPN’s Matthew Berry always tells us not to pay for saves, so really The Informer was just following Berry’s “Bold Strategy Cotton” and not paying for saves.

(After some research it looks like Jose Veras might be the Chicago Cubs closer, I think).

As for the rest of the guys, The Informer is happy he has the “Smoak Monster” just so he can make jokes like “Smoak em if ya got em” and “Someone tell him your not allowed to Smoak in public”.

Furthermore, The Informer really likes that Chris Carter from Houston because he used to be an awesome fantasy football player, so hopefully his stats translate to the “Big Leagues”.

“Informer you do know that Astros Chris Carter and Hall of Fame WR Chris Carter are not the same person, right?”

Man . . . The Informer knew he should have spent his last dollar on New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez.

“Seriously Informer? Didn’t you know that Major League Baseball suspended Alex Rodriguez for using performance enhancing drugs (allegedly)?”

Well that is just plain stupid. Since when do All-Stars get suspended for using performance enhancing drugs? If Jose Canseco was not completely healthy, in better physical condition than any man not taking steroids and still alive he would be rolling over in his grave right now. You know what, The Informer is going to chalk this experience up as a loss and go play his MLB the Show 2014 where guys like A-Rod can juice without fear of being suspended for the entire year.

(Another The Informer note – I always juice A-Rod, Albert Pujos and Bryce Harper so their attributes make them 100 overall and they can each hit over 90 home runs. On a side note, The Informer turns 30 in a month and has four kids.)

One last thing; The Informer was joking earlier about ignoring his daughter to do this draft.The truth is we were watching Dora the Explorer the whole time and now we are listening to her favorite song.



In fact, my daughters favorite song is actually the perfect way to end this article because just like the song says, if you listen to The Informer’s advice then at the end of the season you will be able to say you are “on top of the fantasy baseball world”

Pun was intended . . . Enjoy the season –Go Bryce Harper