Thunderstorms to Rainbows: Su’s Spiral with Depression

Forced to suppress his feelings under the strict prohibitions of his city-state, Su’s mental health gradually declined, ultimately leading to suicide attempts. Su had his first same-sex experience when he was 12 and out of fear decided to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself. This would last until the age of 27, which he currently is. There was no support available for young Singaporean kids discovering their sexuality, so much so that at one point, Su was not aware of what being gay meant. 15 years of having to hide from himself caused major self-identity issues and depression.

One night, Su took 20 painkillers and mixed them with sleeping pills. The next thing he remembered was his mother bringing him to the hospital. He was kept there overnight and recovered fully over the next few days under the official diagnosis of having “food poisoning”. Su was thankful towards his parents for bringing him out of that darkness while also never asking for his reasons as to why he’d attempt something so distressing.

But the darkest nights hold the brightest stars and now, like the star that he is, Su is spreading a message close and dear to his heart.

Joshua Su is not going to let history repeat itself. With this song, the gay youth now have the representation they need, the representation that many before them never got. His mission is to help listeners understand that they are appreciated and welcomed for who they are, whether gay, straight, bisexual, transgender or queer, what’s most important is to be you.

If you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ in Singapore and need guidance, you may visit https://oogachaga.com/contact. Support is always available.