Broken Wings Ch. 8: Estranged

With every day that passed, waking up got easier for Weiss. For so long, waking up was the hardest part of her every day activities. She was waking up to face nothing but horrid mental and sometimes physical pain. None of that had gone away since coming to Beacon, but days where Weiss could open her eyes, get up and have a morning stretch in peace were becoming more and more common. This morning was one such morning.

She didn't feel anymore at peace with anything. The freshly opened scabs of old memories were pouring blood into her emotions, but this time it didn't hurt as bad. The knowledge of it hurting less hurt her more than the actual memories.

Am I just used to it? She asked herself. Is it getting easier and easier to deal with?

Her questions were often with a simple flare in her back pain.

No… I'm just imaging things… I'm better at ignoring the memories.

Today, when she first woke up, no memories were clawing their way through her. She briefly flirted with the idea of getting some coffee for herself, but she didn't want to go that far. She settled for sitting on the window, looking out at the view below her.

Very few people were out and about yet but those who were, Weiss tried to spot those whom she had never interacted with, those she had no knowledge of. She wanted to observe them, see what they're doing and maybe even get a glimpse of how they feel.

A duo walked by that Weiss didn't recognize at all. She could see the first person was wearing a beret and sunglasses along with a heavy sweater, thoroughly obscuring what she looked like. Weiss could catch glimpses of their longer hair and she could see how much they were looking at the second person as well as giving the occasional chuckle at whatever was being said.

The second person was taller and had a mess of red hair. Their whole body looked scarred and their eyes seemed completely white and vacant, leading Weiss to believe they were blind. They weren't looking at the first person, but laughed in time with them.

"That's Fox and Coco," Blake said behind her. Weiss jumped and turned around, seeing Blake leaning against the wall nearby her. "Sorry, I just thought I could fill in some blanks for you." Weiss nodded, swallowing and trying to regain her composure.

"Who is who?" She asked.

"Coco's the one with the beret and Fox is the other one. He's blind."

"I thought so."

I hope she hasn't seen me doing this before, Weiss thought.

"How do you know them?" Weiss asked.

"You know Velvet?" Blake answered.

"The rabbit Faunus?" Blake nodded.

"She's on their team. I've met them a few times." Weiss nodded and looked back over at them. Apparently something had been said because Fox and Coco both had stopped to have a larger fit of laughter.

"They seem happy," Weiss whispered.

"Most likely because they are. CFVY is a close team."

Weiss watched them for another minute before standing up and leaving the window in favor of sitting on her bed. Blake's eyes followed her the whole way. Weiss looked down, staring at her hands.

Seeing people like that made her morning better immediately. Coco and Fox were happy, they were laughing, there were no blanks for her to piece together. Something was going right for them, even if it was just that this morning they were in a good mood.

I would love for that… Weiss thought. The joy… The comfort… I just…

"Fox and Coco were partners originally," Blake said, cutting straight through Weiss' thoughts. Weiss looked up and nodded.

"I see," she said, unsure of how else to respond to Blake. She was silent for a moment, finally taking in the deep breath and asking the question she didn't know if she wanted an answer to.

"How long have you been watching me do this?" Weiss asked.

"Since you first started doing it," Blake answered. "I only know because you hesitated going to the window for a little while." Weiss felt her heart sink. "I haven't told anyone, don't worry."

"I appreciate you helping me maintain some of my dignity," Weiss said with a small smile. "After all of my various meltdowns and whatnot." Blake gave a short chuckle before nodding at Weiss.

"For what it's worth, I'm glad to have seen them," Blake said. Weiss felt herself tense up a little, afraid of the path. "You came in and I just… Well I expected the worst from you." Blake stood up and moved towards her bed. Weiss was staring at the ground, only tracking Blake's movement with her peripheral vision.

"You're not the Schnee shit show or the spoiled, protected brat," Blake continued. "You're… Human. Maybe even more human than I realize."

Weiss winced and closed her eyes.

She felt like she had just been shot.

Human

"You've proven that, Weiss."

I'm not that…

"You've shown that you are equal with us and want to be welcomed as such."

Every horrid thing people have said about you and your heritage is what I am.

"I'm happy you're a member of RWBY, Weiss."

I'm a worthless, lying, animal.

"I'm happy we're teammates.

I deserve the worst.

"Thank you for welcoming me-"

If you knew what I was, you'd get rid of me.

"-even though I know it's not what you were raised to do."

Yeah, showing love and compassion definitely isn't what I was raised to do.

"Of course, Blake," Weiss said aloud. She opened her eyes as she spoke, putting on a fake smile and straightening her posture. Her back was already starting to burn, fire crawling up it faster than she could comprehend.

"I don't wish for you to think that I'm just another Schnee," she continued. "I wanted to be different." Blake's eyes narrowed and she tilted her head.

No, no, no, Weiss thought. Please don't go this way.

"Why do you do that?" Blake asked. Inside, Weiss could feel herself shaking inside, she could only hope that it wouldn't show.

"Do what?" She asked, putting on her best quizzical look.

"You switch." Weiss opened her mouth. "And don't say you don't, I can hear it. You go from you to… A doll. Some rehearsed, disingenuous, fake person." Blake gave Weiss a hard look and Weiss could feel her barrier start to break. "Why're you lying about emotions, Weiss?" Weiss let her eyes fall and her posture change.

"Have they noticed?" Weiss said softly.

"No," Blake said. "Ruby and Yang are a little quicker to believe than I am."

"Later then. I'll tell you later. When they're gone." Blake nodded.

"I'll hold you to it."

I wish you wouldn't.

Weiss laid back in her bed and stayed there. Her eyes closed tight in frustration. Nothing she did was right, nothing she said was right, everything was wrong. It was infuriating, it hurt her and it made her feel worthless.

At home, she was treated as a worthless burden who could never impress.

Here, she was the heiress under scrutiny that her team wouldn't leave alone.

She wasn't safe anywhere.

Time passed and eventually Ruby and Yang both woke up. Weiss was silent throughout the day but nobody really questioned it. It wasn't unlike Weiss to go silent and with nobody asking any questions, Weiss got her chance to breathe.

She thought about trying to run. It was only fitting for a bird to take flight when threatened. It took a long time to get her off of this thought process and her only reason for not doing it was logistically. She had nowhere to run, no way to survive and no way to get anywhere. Leaving was suicide and she was too afraid to face death.

After a few hours, Ruby and Yang departed for the library. They originally claimed that it was with the intention of studying but Weiss felt confident it was to play a board game with some other friends based on how suspicious Yang and Ruby acted.

Not the first time those two idiots tried that, Weiss thought. They're atop their studies enough to do as well as they'd like to be doing.

What this did do was leave Weiss and Blake alone. There was a moment where Weiss thought about playing dumb, but both her and Blake were too smart for that. She also knew Blake well enough to assume that first contact wasn't going to be initiated by the silent Faunus she shared a team with. After not even a minute of considering, Weiss took in a deep breath and walked over to Blake's bed, where the girl was reading.

"Blake," Weiss said softly. Blake's bow twitched slightly and she redirected her attention to Weiss.

"I didn't think you'd do it," Blake said. She sat up completely and looked at Weiss closely. "But you proved me wrong."

If I had said nothing, would you have let this fade?

"Yeah," Weiss said, gripping her left shoulder tightly with her right hand. "You said earlier… You pointed out…"

"Your ability to shift from human to puppet and marionette in a matter of moments?" Blake asked rhetorically. Weiss bit her tongue and nodded.

Don't speak out of turn, Blake doesn't deserve the hostility.

She's right…

She is right…

"Neither of us have a past we like to share with people," Weiss started. "You… You saw what my dad did to…" Weiss stopped and looked Blake in the eyes. Her teammate's eyes were starting to crack and show some pain.

Memories…

"Well," Weiss continued. "I don't know if you couldn't guess but… Those aren't great paternal traits."

"Wha-?"

"He never touched me," Weiss said immediately. "I never… Got hurt from him directly…" She closed her eyes and started to feel herself straining. Her neck felt tight as the skin closed around the veins, leaving them to become very exposed.

There was no pain for her.

Not yet.

But it was coming.

She had to stop it.

"The closer… People get to that…" Weiss came to a dead stop and shook her head. Tears started to well in her eyes and she turned away from Blake.

"I'm sorry."

Weiss barreled into the dorm bathroom and locked the door behind her. She tossed off her jacket and stripped herself of her top. Weiss fell to her knees and tried her best to make no noise but the pain was already starting to flood her, every mark coming to feeling in perfect detail.

She forced herself to her feet and looked at herself in the mirror. Immediately, the pain ceased and she gasped at the image in front of her.

She was staring at her bare chest, her face, her legs, everything was what she had seen so many times before. Except this time, a large pair of icy wings were sprouting from back.

They were beautiful, they reminded her of what Eds looked like. She was mesmerized and amazed at just how beautiful her Faunus trait could be. She reached to pet it but the moment her hand made contact with the wing, it hissed. The beautiful white began to turn to the angry red coils of flames.

No, Weiss thought. No please don't take them away.

The pain she was experiencing before returned with a redoubled effort, but Weiss couldn't tear herself away from watching her beautiful wings burn in the mirror. No feather was spared until she was stripped down to just her own, human form again.

She finally collapsed to the floor and curled up into a small ball. Tears were flowing freely from her eyes and onto the ground.

Pathetic, a dark, cold voice echoed within the room. Without even looking, Weiss knew who the owner was.

"Dad…" She managed meekly.

Weiss Schnee, marveling at traits that belong to vermin and curls into a ball to sob when they're taken away. Absolutely pathetic.

"Dad… Please it hurt so bad." Weiss couldn't get her voice above a whisper and even at that, it was nearly impossible for her to do.

Don't you have any allegiance to the birth right of your name? Your title? You're a waste of a child.

"Those wings… Are the more of a birthright than anything you've ever shown me." Weiss tried to uncurl herself, but every movement made the pain worse and she eventually curled back into her ball.

What impressively spirited words, Weiss, her father said, venom coating every word he spat. Are you going to share any of this exchange with the other animal? The one who's admitted to killing those you've known? His laughed boomed through the room. You're a weak, sad, pathetic, failure, that I know not as my child.

"You're… A lousy excuse for a father… You're both… Weak excuses for parents…"

A knight and an angel gave birth to a pile of shit who can't do any better when searching for words against us.

Weiss saw boots walk just in front of her. Her father bent down to meet Weiss' eyes on the ground, piercing through her with his intense gaze.

When your death comes, it will be the most joyous day of my life, he said. With one last laugh, Ritter dissipated in front of her.

It was… My imagination, Weiss thought. He didn't say any of that, none of that happened. I… I'm okay.

No amount of words made her feel any better.

Nothing could undo what had just been said to her.

Her mind conjured up the perfect words for him, the exact script of what would hurt most.

Deep down inside, Weiss knew that every last letter was true.

All she could do was sob even more.

She had no idea how long it had been, but it was apparently long enough for Blake to worry. Weiss heard a timid knock at the door before hearing Blake call out to her.

"Weiss? Are you okay?"

"No," Weiss choked. "Stay out… Do me that much and stay out." Weiss heard silence in response and she could only hope that Blake would leave her to finish out her breakdown.

At least that barrier will exist no matter what.

It felt like an eternity before Weiss ran out of tears to shed and her back stopped burning in pain. She tentatively stood and hunched over the faucet. She filled her hands with water and splashed her face. She took the time to completely wipe her face free of everything that water could erase. Weiss was left completely bare except for her completely bloodshot eyes, but nothing she had could fix that.

Weiss gingerly put on her shirt and coat before reemerging from the bathroom. Blake was on her bed, reading and there was still no trace of Yang and Ruby. Blake immediately put down her book and walked to Weiss.

"I'm so sorry Weiss," she immediately began. "I had no idea that… That was going to happen. I didn't think it'd take you to where it did. I-."

Weiss silenced her by holding her hand up. She slowly walked over to her bed and laid down on her side.

"I did it," she whispered. "You asked why I put on an act and I began down the wrong path. I have to do it." She pulled the covers over her, feeling emptier and emptier with every passing moment. All of her emotions had just been expended, there was almost nothing left for her to give.

"Around us, you don't," Blake said after she gave Weiss time. "Don't be polite, don't be… Fake."

"I can't."

"Don't go to the places that bring you emotions, just don-."

"I hate every ounce of what I am." Blake fell to a dead silence. "You all have kept on in saying that I belong but I don't, I never thought that. I go fake so you don't hear my mind in it's endless chatter."

Weiss curled further into her bed. Her emotions were drained, her reasoning went out the window, all she wanted was for Blake to let her be.

"Don't bring this up again," Weiss said. "And if you hear me being a doll, prop me up and let the show go on."

"Weiss… I-," Blake started.

"No, tell me that this conversation ends right now." Blake took in a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh.

"It ends now," Blake agreed. "It'll end until you broach it again, I promise."

"Thank you," she muttered. Without giving Blake a second thought, she closed her eyes and fell asleep. Fortunately for her, Weiss was too drained of emotions to dream this time.

Every break was appreciated at this point.

End: Questions, comments and feedback feedback is always appreciated!