Certain trains of a fornication-related nature and ones of the hype-based kind certainly have no brakes, and neither does the one featured in this week’s episode! As things get increasingly Grimm aboard the Valewarts Express, the recap makes everybody crave pizza, Roman tries his damnedest to psych out Blake as she kicks his ass, and Neo’s #style knows no bounds. Oh, and mysterious new character theories abound, from potato chip to full blown potato in insanity! To catch another train to last week’s recap click here, and to catch up on all previous recaps check out the terminus at Recap Masterpost. Those who arrive survive, as do all those that click the Read More below and crack the code as to the whereabouts of the antidote to that poison I just infected you all with through the internet. Muwhaha.

Well don’t we have an episode and a half ahead of us, huh! It’s a long one kids, so strap in and hope you charged your Gameboys and stuff. As we get closer to the end I like to throw in more callback jokes to previous recaps for recursion and stuff, so! But before we embark I’d like to thank all those reading for continued support week after week and who would even notice there’d be callback jokes. Feels like just yesterday we were all watching a food fight and now we’re on the eve of the finale, don’t it? And soon we’ll have to wait ‘til next August for more? Yeesh. I’ll be in my cryo chamber. Wake me up but not when September ends.

PREVIOUSLY ON RWBY :: Back in a less apocalyptic-y area of Vale, General Ironwood is comforted by Glynda as he stews in his doubts regarding Ozpin’s plans to wait and/or alternatively see. Meanwhile in the devastated region known as Mountain Iain Glen, it’s a quiet night so three insecure teenage girls talk about their various problems. Weiss wants to make her family’s name mean something, Blake wants to stop running away yet doesn’t know how to fight injustice, and Yang wants a diamond-studded pony to ride as she goes on adventures. Later that night, Ruby gets up to follow Zwei on his pee break - in the middle of the night? What, is he seventy? - and stumbles upon some White Fang mooks. After following them to their base entrance, she then falls down a hole. Yes, really. Weaponless, she gets KO’d by another two goons and taken, starring Liam Neeson. The rest of her team gets twigged and goes lookin’, while Ruby comes face to face with a familiar beautiful face: Roman Torchwick. Back on the surface, Oobleck comes to realise that the White Fang have been operating in an underground city built near the end of Mountain Glenn’s lifespan, and that it’s in their best interest to rescue Ruby and stop the White Fang, and fast. Yeah. I mean, we kinda figured that already. Lock and load.

And now, on RWBY: A grown man in an Alex DeLarge cosplay beats up a Little Red Riding Hood. More Comic-Con news at eleven.

He’s having a whale of a good time doing so, that’s for sure. Without Crescent Rose by her side, Ruby has the fighting effectiveness of a declawed kitten. Still adorable though!

Bless her for trying.

Roman you’re like actually trash when did you become one of my favourites. Bless your face. After that failed attack from Ruby, Roman asks her how she found him. Maybe she has a trashdar installed.

I don’t make enough Farscape references. Yotz! And also, Ruby finally did what many had expected her to do last week: Starburst outta there with her Semblance.

Run Ruby run. Like Lola, Forrest and rabbit.

Butttttttttt Roman ain’t having it.

Turns out the other end of his cane is actually a grappling hook. Wow. Versatile. If it has a screwdriver, can opener and cup holder in it too and I’ll buy twenty.

Rubabby is dragged back to his feet. Poor Rubabby.

Whatever further interrogation he has planned is interrupted by a KABOOM.

It’s never Godzilla. Poor Ruby.

But it might be her friends, her professor and her dog coming to save the day!

Alllllllllmost feel sorry for Torchy’s Tacos when Ruby speeds off again. He and his men take aim -

- and miss terribly because Ruby has mastered the art of both zig and zag. In frustration, Roman performs his most heinous crime yet.

We maaaaaay need Stevey Mk III if he keeps that up. He also then moves on to tell one of his White Fang rabble that they need to get going, even if they’re not ready yet.

Poor Romaneo needs a ten second head start before his beloved Rubiet comes to kick his ass. Rubiet meanwhile comes face to face with four goons that were chased in that direction by her saviours. Awk-ward.

Thankfully Yang comes in and punches them into a nearby wall. Rest in goddamn pieces jeez.

After getting a relieved hug from Yang, Ruby goes on to give the sitrep: it’s bad.

She also gets Crescent Rose back from Blake because Blake is the best ever and was holding it. Weiss had begged off because she didn’t carry things belonging to the poor, Yang would’ve tried to use it and would’ve ended up breaking it, and Oobleck was just a gentleman who would never touch a lady’s weapon without her consent first.

We learn that the train’s heading to nowhere; the end of the tunnel is sealed. But Roman’s taking them on some magical ride that Willy Wonka wouldn’t even consider taking, so… They better get to work. First thing to do is call backup.

And yes people, calling Jaune is a good move. Remember my conspiracy that Ruby and Jaune might secretly solve all plot problems if they’re left in a room together? Ruby just wanted to nip this in the bud and go watch Wheel Of Fortune.

Strange that there’s another “Low Signal” thing. Or maybe not strange given they’re underground in an area long abandoned by both people and wi-fi hotspots, but boy I can’t help but remember that Cinder messed with the communication tower… Convenient that things would go haywire just as Roman begins his part of the plan. Of course, Team RWBY’s appearance no doubt forced him to move a little earlier, but still.

No backup comin’, so the team has to go in alone. Don’t stop them now. They get onto the train easily enough thanks to the prowess of Oobleckdiana Jones.

Up at the front of the train, Roman learns they’ve been boarded.

He tells his men to arm up and get to fight scene'ing, because hey if you have a train full of mech suits you might as well use 'em.

Roman does his best to impress his troops by casually insulting their very identities, but that’s about par for the course for him. Hole in one, buddy.

The gang is aboard the caboose of the train with Caboose by their side. Hanging out on top of a train, how cool. It’s like a wild west train robbery caper but with mech suits and furries! Yay!

Also gives me Final Fantasy 8 vibes. That was a fun mission. Less bombs in the carriages, though.

Yep, those bomb-y lookin’ things from last week’s episodes are actually bombs. Who knew.

The White Fang begin to sneak up, hoping to overwhelm with sheer numbers and not anything like conventional weaponry or whatever.

As they do so, the bomb in the car below begins to beep. The team bails to the next car, though, with Oobleck asking Blake to decouple the caboose before they all go boom.

Before she can, it decouples itself! The detached train car slides off and then explodes in the tunnel. Bad thing. Very bad thing.

See! Another bad thing is that all the carriages have bombs. And, through deductive reasoning we can surmise they will all detach and then explode. Ruh roh.

Before they can make sense of it all, the White Fang get within ass kicking distance, so a good ol’ fashioned team ass kicking session ensues. Yang first.

Then Blake.

Shoutout to the Wilheim Scream shoutout. Literally a shout. And then somedat Weiss ice powah.

And Ruby to finish some off. 'Cause she can.

Also how many goons just died, again? Not even counting the damage of throwing folk off the train, there’s also the factor of, I dunno, exploding bombs going off everywhere. And then the other thing.

The other thing caused by another bomb blowing a hole in the tunnel completely. And then the horde spawns.

Hoooooooo boy. Turns out the plan is to enrage some wild Grimm and lead them through the tunnels. The tunnels that go right into Vale. Diabolical as dicks, really. And set-up well too! Because we’ve learnt Mountain Glenn’s story and how they fell even with their defences, so a targeted attack on the outskirts of Vale could do enough damage to very much send a message. Or hell, could lead the whole city to become overrun if the Goliaths take advantage. To use the Attack On Titan metaphor, Wall Maria would fall and there might be a hell of a time reclaiming it.

This is all theory of course. No way anything like that’s going to happen with Team RWBY on the case, right? RIGHT?!

Oobleck turns around to explain how screwed they all are and how they must get to stopping those bombs, and fast.

Cut the red wires guys. Meanwhile, Oobleck and Ruby will head up front to stop the train before they can blow down the sealed tunnels and let the Big Bad Grimm inside.

As Weiss, Blake and Yang head down below, Oob and Ruby go to fight some White Fang riding Paladins. Is it time for the fabled Oobleck fight scene moment? Yes. It. Is.

His baseball bat-esque transformed thermos turns out to be half-flamethrower, and it can do its best Angelo impersonation on Zwei, sending the dog flying into one of the mechs.

Wat.

I mean, yeah cool, and Zwei probably has Aura and all, but still.

In the train cars, the intrepid trio prepare to do their thang. Weiss has a present for Blake in the form of multiple types of dust in one cartridge.

Christ how long have these two been dating? Weiss giving a little gift specifically made for Blake, them being all smiley, jeez. And Weiss has been the first one to notice everytime Blake’s had something wrong with her… I can dig this. I’m for this.

Yang/Neo shippers are about to crawl out of the woodwork so while they’re distracted with that, quick Checkmaters! Take our ship to the high seas! Speaking of Neo, the queen hath finally returned after seven long episodes away.

Glorious. The dren-eating grin. The silent snark. The majesty and beauty. Neo’s design is glorious to behold, and not just 'cause ice cream is great. Her eyes change colours a bunch too, some form of Semblance or just 'cause it’s cool. Yang, who’s been waiting to punch Neo’s lights out since her Hulk rage earlier in the year, tells Team Monochrome to go on ahead and leave the midget for her to kick around.

Short and sweet. Pint-sized. Some other pun. The fight begins with Yang trying to punch that precious face and getting a smile in response.

With a flash and a poke of her parasol, Neo sends Yang reeling back.

Neo’s strategy involves her dodging, ducking and weaving, all while looking amazing and making Yang more frustrated.

She’s efficient, our ice cream queen, and some folk smarter than me have pointed out her strategy might’ve been not to directly hit Yang as much so as not to trigger Yang’s Semblance. I can dig it. Same folk have also made charts explaining how Neo’s eyes changing mean something about her current fighting stance, because they’re Smarties and I’m just M&Ms.

Beautiful, really. Yang is sent to the ground for all her trouble.

And Neo? Well, if you’re gonna land after scoring a hit like that, better to do that when your Style Rating is 200%.

The best. Meanwhile, the other biggest ship of the episode that involves far less of one member being beaten up by the other encounters a miniboss of their own.

Yes it’s the very same guy we saw hyping up Torchwick to his compatriots back in Chapter Four. This whole chapter feels like a big ol’ Chapter Four Part Two, which I love. But anyways, Lt Phineasberg has a chainsaw because chainsaws are cool. Weiss, being the best girlfriend ever, tells Blake to go on ahead so she can beat up Torchwick.

Blake does so. Rapier Vs Chainsaw time. I never thought I’d see the day.

Lt Phineasberg makes note that he always wanted to kill a Schnee - I’m sure Weiss was happy to be noticed, really - so that gives all kinds of possibly history between him and Weiss’s family. Which is cool, because we haven’t really seen any other White Fang folk be explored enough. This isn’t much but it shows that Weiss’s quest to reclaim her family’s name for good is something that has hurdles to jump over.

Also let it be known I am a sucker for any close-up shot involving Weiss and her rapier’s revolver bit revolving. Sooooo cool. Speaking of cool, strap yourselves in we’ve got some Blake awesomeness ahead.

Yes, a little part of me - and half the fandom - was expecting Adam to be in that train car. I mean c'mon. Blake, Adam, train, robots, good times right? But nah, I’m really glad it was Roman.

Because the whole volume’s been building to this and I’m so glad it’s following through. Like, one of the final images we see of the V2 opening is Blake Vs Torchwick. And while we’ve had Ruby Vs Cinder, we haven’t had indication of Yang Vs Mercury or Weiss Vs Emerald having an actual, y'know, build. For effect yeah, but still, Blake Vs Torchwick’s been built up. His taunts have been haunting her, his methods kept her up night after night, and if it wasn’t for Blake having very good friends who wanted her to get some sleep, she wouldn’t be at one hundred percent for this fight. One hundred and ten, even.

And she totally devastates him. It’s amazing. In case you were wondering, who won MVP for this chapter? Blake Blake Blake Blake Blake Knowledge for her complete badassery.

What helps her is the mixing of Dust and her Semblance together to create shadow clones with bonus effects. First time we’ve seen this kinda mixing? Probably not in actuality, but this is the first explicit time we can put two and two together (Weiss giving Blake the Dust cartridge plus knowing what Blake’s Semblance is equals four!). But the Dust allows one shadow clone to go boom.

And one that turns to stone, one that turns to ice…

And that trips Roman up long enough for Blake to finish him off.

Blake’s utter domination of Roman-Wasn’t-Built-In-A-Day is notable in that it’s really her first solo victory, and she’s flawless as all get out the whole time. She’d been viewed as weaker than the other girls back when the trailers were coming out because of it, even though she totally had the biggest emotional victory in severing ties with Adam when he went collateral damage uncaring-y. And her journey’s been amazing to track, especially throughout this volume. This is probably the most earned moment of the entire series for me. Torchwick didn’t stand a chance against her pure swag.

I’m just glad I backed the right horse. Cat. Queen.

If he’d said sister he might’ve actually stumped her a microt. But he does stop her from stabbing his eyes out by trying to psych her out. After all, aren’t they fighting for the same side…?!

Meanwhile, with Weiss, she’s busy beating up Lt Phineasberg.

She does so with the help of her Haste glyphs and then some pinballing off the launch glyphs. Much kickass. Very cool. Before she can finish the job, her opponent decides to get dirty and goes to grab her by the face.

Ouch kabibble ensues.

Like wow that’s brutal. He then lobs her up to get obliterated.

I’ll admit I wasn’t scared Weiss would get chainsaw’d in half. I was scared her ponytail would get sheared. Priorities I know, but that hair’s insured for a lot of lien and Remnant doesn’t need an economic crisis. Elsewhere, Neo’s busy inflicting her beautiful smirk at Yang.

See? The fight continues and the scales never quite tip back to Yang’s favour. Get rekt.

KO’d like all get out, Yang is left at Neo’s tender mercy…

So let’s go back to Torchwick!

He taunts Blakey with the knowledge of her shady past. Apparently, she’s done some reallllllly bad stuff. Hello intrigue. Whatever it is is cut off by the appearance of Weiss, being thrown into the room bodily by Lt Phineasberg.

Tellingly, in a choice between saving her friend or getting her stabby revenge, Blake chooses her friend. Of course she can’t leave without knocking Roman the frell out with a kick to the face.

B to the E to the A to the U to the Tiful. Beautiful.

Blake heads over to Weiss’s side, cradling her head and c'mon our shipper hearts can only take so much.

Girls please this isn’t the time. Tone down the PDA and get out of there before they get chainsaw’d.

Oh good they listened. Meanwhile, with Neo and Yang…

Neo’s actually preparing to stab Yang. You little psycho I love you but steady on now. Thankfully, before Yang can get perforated, a mysterious saviour appears.

Well. Well well well. At least she didn’t show up naked. … But on the other hand she didn’t show up naked. This oughta be quinnteresting.

And everything has changed. You know what that means? Baseless speculation time! Let’s have a look at her first. She’s wearing a White Fang mask bigger and meaner-looking than any we’ve ever seen, her eyes are red beneath it, her hair could be hair or it could be feathers, her outfit is samurai schoolgirl supreme, and she has an ass cape. If she is a Terminator from the future it’s one where the ass capes won and not the machines. Asscapepocalypse. Believe it. Overall the colour and style could invoke Ruby, Yang, Blake, Adam… Everyone! It’s a good look. though. Intimidating. Strong. Scary. Scary to Neo, for sure.

Okay, who is this person? She deliberately shows up to save Yang, which is important I hope. Like, there has to be a connection there. But yeah, my logic ain’t everyone else’s logic. Maybe it’s like Spiderman. Everybody gets one. Connection to Yang and vaguely similar looks to the Transient Princess makes the leading theory be that she’s Yang’s mom. A very Molly Weasley moment of her to come save her daughter. I don’t think it’s Summer Rose, that’s for sure. If it’s going to be a mother, it’ll be Yang’s. Or Blake’s? Dammit. Too many options.

Her weapon, on the other hand, kinda reminds me a bit of Blake’s in the handle’s style. The revolving Dust blades could be like a next level combination of Blake’s new Dust usage and a longer blade reminiscent of Adam’s. And that brings me to the crazier potato theory: she’s Blake from the future. It might be worth considering, if only for a microt. Because there’s the general style yeah, the fact she saved Yang, and one other thing. Notice that the mysterious lady and Neo have the same necklace. Reusing a prop, most likely. A connection between Neo and this lady maybe. Orrrrr why not future Blake avenged her partner’s death and then took Neo’s necklace as a trophy before travelling back in time to save her! See! Totalllllll sense. I know time travel’s a risky aspect to add into the series, but I could dig it? Especially if the interaction between a Blake that failed her friends in the future and her now-living friends. Bonus points: imagine if current Blake dies in the V2 finale and then future Blake has awkwardness with everyone from now on. No way that’ll happen but there’s a good fanfic plot bunny for y'all!

Or hey maybe it’s Adam. The moon changes a man… Either way, she scares off Neo and has saved Yang’s life, so. If you’re Yang’s mom then you may not’ve made up for the abandonment, but hey good job. If you’re a time traveller hoping to save Yang, hey good job! If you’re none of the above and just some random, also good job but really who are you?!

The portal she disappears from looks kinda similar to the thing glimpsed at in the Volume One opening. The plot thickens. Yang comes to just as the mysterious woman disappears, no doubt wondering if her concussion made her see things…

Back on top of the train, Oobleck and Ruby are busy killing Paladins.

Oobleck’s pretty good at it, so he decides to stay behind to fight them off while Ruby joins her friends in actually stopping the train.

Not only does Ooby head off, but Zwei elects to help him.

Why tho. I’m not even gonna get into it. Best dog owner Ruby Rose.

She then goes to hook back up with her teammates, mostly unharmed but for some damaged egos - except Blake’s 'cause she’s feeling fantastic - and they look to behold the sealed wall the train’s about to crash into.

Tick tick tick. Ruby and Weiss share a little look, because they know what they have to do now.

Why, encase themselves in ice! We Are Groot style.

Weiss saved the day. Go Weiss. But things go boom - gee I hope Roman and Oobleck and Zwei lived - and they’re back in Vale proper just as the dawn breaks.

The girls are disoriented yet again unharmed. But there’s an ominous alarm blaring in the air…

The citizens of the city look upon the huntresses that just crashed into them, and they ain’t looking happily.

And holllllllllly crap. Where the train blew themselves an open hole, the Grimm have now followed.

Wow. Just. Wow.

I am so here for this. I am so here for the bad guys actually winning in the long run here. Because they’ve got Grimm in the city, the communications might be haywire and Roman’s been stealing all of the Dust ever, so even if the good guys save the day there’s still going to be corpses. I doubt things are really gonna go #Grimmpocalypse2k14, but this is going to be mean.

Continue the Attack On Titan references! This is gonna be a wakeup call. Panic on the streets of Vale.

And so, to cap off the episode, we zoom in on Ruby’s horrified face before her look turns steely and determined…

Best ending. Best episode.

Beautiful. So how’s the finale going to go down? I’m going to try and limit myself a bit and just look at the elements presented that could work only within Volume Two’s set-up. The gang’s lost some battles so the broken innocence thing has been covered. Grimm are going to murder some civilians - off screen - so the dark quotient’s boosted some. Cinder and Roman’s plans, at least for now, have come to fruition. Chaos and destabilisation while Vale’s supposed to be playing neutral ground for the three other Kingdoms, which’ll have consequences throughout the entire series. Safest bet is that the day is going to be saved by Ironwood. He’s got his army and he’s a little annoyed at Ozpin’s passivity. And he’s got Penny. Penny’s going to be debuted in public to save the day; it’s good PR after all!

In a perfect world there’ll be reinforcements in the form of Teams JNPR, SSSN and CFVY and there’ll be this epic massive fight scene with all of them. And then there’ll be a death or two and it’ll be great. Not likely, but I can dream. Mostly I’m hoping that the season ends on a note of unease and not just happy ending. Because oooooh child, things are not going to get any easier. And they shouldn’t! Ahh well.

Actually, my boldest prediction is that P-Money… won’t die. I know I know, who am I and what have I done with Matt the recap guy. It was a longshot prediction at best and a great running joke that I’ll continue, but she’ll live to fight another volume. Then again, my predictions are usually wrong… DEAD wrong…

It has been a hell of a ride. I’m prepared and I’m not. The most certain thing in the world is there’ll be a recap for the finale next week! Hopefully not as long as this monster. And if there’s crazy theories abound, best to find discussion at the Roosteteeth forums (General discussion and the RWBY Vol. 2 thread), the RWBYForums, RWBY Wiki, the r/RWBY subreddit, the RWBY TVTropes page (And hey this recap even has a lil’ page of its own, which is much amaze), and the main tumblr tag. Oh, and the Afterbuzz podcast archive is a great resource for episode recap with bonus cast and crew interviews too. Cool cool.

Until next week, enjoy the finale! Be sure to also send a nice thank you message to Monty, Miles, Kerry and everyone else on the RWBY cast and crew. Because they’ve worked their asses off and given us over two hours of great content and do deserve it. Do it!

Also, there’s actually a song called No Brakes. But also also since it’s finale time, it’s The Final Countdown.