Early in my career (not early enough but that's a different topic for a different day), I was told that networking was the key to success. Getting out there, being known for something, handing out business cards, and meeting new people were the way to work yourself to the top of the corporate ladder (a goal I am ashamed to admit was a top priority when I was a young analyst out of the MIS program at the University of Texas). I thought I was good at networking. People even told me I was good at it. After about a year of networking events, I got over my introvert tendencies and I could work a room like no other. In an hour, I could identify the movers and shakers in a room and I could work my way into and, more importantly, out of any conversation. After about five years, only four of knowing what I was doing, I stopped attending almost all networking events.

Why would I stop attending these amazing open bar events with beautiful people that could lead me to the top of the mountain? Because it did not work. For me, it never did and never has. A friend of mine, Derek Coburn, has actually written an entire book on the topic that I highly recommend, Networking is Not Working. I promise you can read it in less than an hour. It will be the best hour you will spend this week. Derek has actually built a successful business out of this problem and I believe he has nailed the solution. He assembled a CADRE of like minded people who aren't looking to peddle anything. We will come back to Derek in a bit.

Back to why I stopped networking. I spent countless evenings and mornings at fancy hotels / venues meeting other people who were trying to sell their amazing products and services. After five years of networking, I generated four real leads. More importantly, I made three friends I am still in touch with today. And that is after meeting around 5,000 people at over 500 individual events. Let that sink in a bit. I was what people called a good networker at these events. Five years, four leads and three real friends? That is not a miserable return. That is an abysmal return. This was not working. I had to do something different. There were not enough hours in the day for me to keep doing this and do anything significant for me or more importantly for anyone else in the world. Traditional networking was not working for me. I am sure it works for plenty of folks and I am sure people have had much better returns than I had in my five years. Maybe I really just wasn't good at it.

After year five, I decided to stop networking completely. In fact, I decided to unNetwork. I trimmed my network to folks I really knew. The first to go? The 5,000 people I met at random networking events. It is probably the single most valuable thing I have ever done for myself and for anyone I know. I could now focus my efforts on things that mattered. I spent 100% of my previously allocated networking time just helping people, being myself, sending friends helpful articles, connecting people to job opportunities, and even helping people with things I knew nothing about.

I love helping people with things I know nothing about. It can be anything: buying a new house, finding a doctor, getting a new job, buying a new audio receiver, breaking in at a new client, standing up a PMO, organizing an IT shop, building a new data warehouse. As soon as I understand a problem a friend is having, I immediately think of who I know that can help. I get joy from bringing two people I know together. When it happens, and the stars align, it's magical. These two people who did not know each other are now connected and helping one another. It's the most basic form of humanity. It is the reason we deploy resources to disaster-struck regions. You can really make a meaningful change in someone's life by helping them.

Not sold on the idea?

Let me tell you a story about two good friends of mine. I have not vetted telling this story to the world with them yet so it may get deleted soon, but for the sake of this conversation let's call them Tim and Tanya. I met Tim at a conference and we immediately hit it off. He was a sharp, articulate young man. His values and beliefs aligned with mine. It also did not hurt that he liked to have a good time and was always the life of the party (worked well with my natural introvert / wallflower tendencies). I liked Tim and we stayed in touch for years after the conference. We are still friends today.

Tanya was more of an acquaintance I met randomly. She was affable, nice, and also shared several similar values. We became good friends and we are also still in touch to this day. About two years into knowing Tanya, she told me she was looking for a job. She wanted to get into career counseling or coaching. I was at a very small but growing consulting firm and I knew we were always looking for people. I talked with the person in charge of our recruiting / back office and asked if she would be interested in meeting Tanya. She said absolutely and was more appreciative than I could have imagined about the referral. I was not going to get anything out of this intro. (At the time we did not have referral bonuses and after taxes those things are almost nothing anyways! Don't ever refer a person to a job for a referral bonus-another topic for a different day.) I only did it because I knew Tanya was looking for an opportunity and I knew our firm needed some help. To be 100 percent honest, I did not think Tanya would get the job. She had no relevant experience and had just graduated from a Masters program. After a couple of weeks of interviewing Tanya landed the gig; she's a hustler. I think she stayed at that firm for more than five years. However, at some point during those five years, I introduced her to Tim. Tim and Tanya are now happily married. They have been for several years.

I have many of these kind of stories but probably none as impactful as this one. It has not yielded any business for me but you know what? It makes me happy. Tim and Tanya probably think I have done a lot for them, but they have done more for me than they will ever know. I can call them any time and they are there. Just a couple of weeks ago I was in their city on a random Tuesday night for business. I called Tim and said, “I'm in town, about five minutes from your place, what are you guys up to tonight?” He was shocked I was in town but was more than happy to have me over, and the three of us spent an evening just talking. I don't even know what we talked about: nothing really memorable, but it was unforgettable.

You can really make a change in the universe by just bringing two of your friends together. You never now what will happen! Sometimes it really is magic.

Back to hacking your career. I decided to just help people. Like I said, I have several Tim and Tanya stories. No others that ended in "happily ever after," but you get the idea. Some of my stories have led to business for my firm or firms I have been associated with. A lot of it has not. But you know what, that is OK. The business is gravy. I don't do it for the business. I do it because it makes me feel good. I do it because in some way, I think I am making the world a better place and because it really brings joy to someone (in most cases multiple someone's) I know.

People always tell me they don't know enough people to just start helping people. That if they start helping the people they know it will never lead to business results. I beg to differ.

Back to Derek. I first met Derek ironically at a networking event (but not a normal one; this was put on by my friend Kathy Albarado at Helios and her events rock). At Kathy's events, you never show up to a bunch of people trying to sell you something. Even Kathy never tries to sell anything and she runs a top notch HR consulting firm in the DC area. Anyway, I met Derek and I am pretty sure from the instant I met him he was sizing me up to see if I was a fit for his network. To this day I do not know if this next part of our interaction was a test or if he really needed help. I have never asked him about it. We traded business cards at that event and he reached out to me the next day. We had an initial call, he did the soft sell on CADRE, and I politely declined. I was opening a new market for a small firm and we were just not at a point where we could invest in the fees associated with Derek's group. However, it did not end there. A couple of days later, Derek called and asked if I could help with a Microsoft Dynamics CRM issue he was having. For you non techies, he needed help with some software he wanted to use for his business. He asked if I knew anything about it and if I would talk to him about it. I said sure and I was more than happy to help. I still vividly remember being on a train to NYC from DC and working through a couple of very small, minor issues with him. When we reached my knowledge limit I told him I had no idea what to do next but if he wanted I could ask my friend Matt who knows everything about CRM and Dynamics. Eventually, I reached out to Matt and got the answers I needed for Derek. I did not think this at the time and only even thought about it recently, but what a great way for Derek to see if I was really a fit for his network. He asked for help and observed what I would do. I didn't offer to sell Derek anything. For those of you who know me, you know that if I can help you with a couple of hours of my time, I will. If I can't help you, I will find you someone who can. And you should think of your network in the same way. Just help.

You can always make excuses. You can always say tomorrow. You can always say, "I don't know who to help or what to help with." Well, I have some excuse removers. Help anybody. Help a neighbor, help your local bartender, help your cousin, help your brother-in-law, help that homeless person you always walk by but never say a word to, help someone from church. Help anybody, don't help somebody. We all get too caught up in helping people with titles because we think that will lead to the most results. And while that is true to some extent, I honestly believe karma will help you more than any fancy CEO at a fortune 100 company. Karma is a powerful thing and if you do the right thing over and over, you will win. You will not only win at business, you will win at life. You will feel good about what you do. You will wake up with a zest for life that is like that first day of school or a new job.

As far as what to help people with, help with anything. You do not have to be the world's number one person at something to offer someone help. You will be shocked at how you can help. You can refer your neighbor to a great new restaurant you found in the neighborhood. You can buy that homeless person on the corner a hot meal and have a conversation (you never know his story – he may have gone to Harvard Law). You can tell someone about the great resort you stayed at on your last vacation. You can send a friend an article that may help them with their job. The list goes on and on. If you need ideas, comment below and I will give you some!

Let's get some positive karma going. If anyone has ever helped you and you want to thank them or give them props, share it in the comments (I think you can even tag them by using the @ symbol and finding them on LinkedIn). Let's share some love!

Dipesh Patel is founder and principal of Solvegy, a management and technology consulting firm specializing in bridging the gap between strategy and implementable solutions.