Our nation faces an enormous crisis. I'm talking, of course, about the fact that the Los Angeles Dodgers are actively enjoying it when they perform impressive baseball feats, occasionally displaying that enjoyment while still on the baseball diamond.

You might have heard about what Yasiel Puig did Monday, flipping his bat after hitting the ball because he thought it was a home run, only to still leg out a stand-up triple.

It was a sign of Puig's incredible athleticism, both on the power and the speed. It was a funny moment, a reminder that someone capable of amazing accomplishments is also a 22-year-old with the potential for baffling screw-ups. And the raw outbursts of emotion reminded us that Puig is a person, capable of having feelings and such rather than a McCannical -- err, mechanical -- automaton that just happens to play baseball. Suffice it to say, Puig's play contained many of the reasons I watch sports.

But by failing to run hard the entire time, Puig committed a violation of Baseball's Unwritten Rules, and as such, reporters had to ask pitcher Adam Wainwright how he felt about it. Per True Blue LA:

"I didn't see Puig's reaction. I saw Adrian (Gonzalez) doing some Mickey Mouse stuff at second," said Wainwright.

What he's referring to: (via Chad Moriyama)

The abject, unthinkable horror. In a key moment in a baseball game, he moved his arms in a celebratory manner to indicate that he cared about the baseball game. Note: Gonzalez has never been considered a showboat -- in fact, many have considered him stoic -- and the run scored on his RBI was the first the team had scored in over 20 innings of play. He was excited because it was an exciting moment and a chance for his team to turn things around. However, for him to do it in a disgusting, classless way by moving his arms a little bit is horrendous.

Quite frankly, I could not agree more with Wainwright for calling Gonzalez out -- and for correctly identifying the source of his disgusting behavior.

Mickey Mouse was the first of the over-celebrators. A mindless, gleeful rodent, Mickey always acted like everything he did was the greatest thing in the world without ever taking a moment to wipe that smile off his stupid murine face and act like he was taking things seriously.

Look at him gloating. Disgusting.

Mickey is breaking several of the Unwritten Rules of Boating. NEVER whistle. It makes the ship's foghorn feel inadequate. And besides, he shouldn't be having such a jolly freakin' time when piloting a vessel so near land, when he should be ensuring his passengers' safety. This is just showboating.

wait is he actually on a showboat

is it okay if he's on a showboat?

Wow, we're soooooooo impressed that you have a hat. You know who else has a hat? Pete Kozma, of the Cardinals. Do you think he throws himself a little party every time he puts his hat on? No. Because he treats baseball like a job rather than a joke and gives 110 percent every time he steps in between the lines. Sad to see that so many mice think about the names on the backs of their magician's robes rather than the ones on the front.

Here, Mickey is breaking several of the Unwritten Rules of Happily Jumping Rope With an Anthropomorphic Old-Timey Telephone. The telephone is clearly trying to murder Mickey with his cord, and every time Mickey succeeds in evading the murder attempt, he rubs it in the telephone's face by grinning from comically oversized ear to comically oversized ear. How does he think that makes the telephone feel?

For his part, Gonzalez handled the really stupid accusation of showboating well:

On that Adrian Gonzalez response, it was "We're in LA, Mickey Mouse is an hour away ... It fits us." — Eric Stephen (@truebluela) October 15, 2013

I look forward to seeing Puig and Gonzalez do this, forever and ever.

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