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"I won't let up on you until you're sucking cocks in hell!"

Out of all the landlords I've known, approximately every last one of them will do everything in their power to strip as much of your deposit as humanly possible when you move out. That's because most of them put that deposit in the bank with the rest of their money, and it eventually gets spent. So when you move, they have to hand back that cash out of their own pocket. They can and will find things to make that number smaller, I don't give a fuck how nice they are.

Now, yes, you are allowed by law (in the U.S. -- I don't know about your weird laws in your weird non-America country) to have a certain amount of wear and tear through everyday, normal living. But that is an extremely gray area, and if pressed by both parties, it often ends up in the hands of lawyers. If you do not have photographic evidence to back up your case, it will boil down to their word against yours. And let's face it, the mere fact that they own a house and you don't means that they most likely have more money than you, so they can afford better lawyers.

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"Is it true that you're a lying asshole? May I remind you that you are under oath?"

That's why we want digital copies of those photos. Because digital images can be easily and instantly dated, whereas printed photos are much harder. If you don't have someone who really knows their shit, they will assume that the print photos could have been taken two weeks ago, in an attempt by you to get out of paying for damage that you're actually responsible for. Remember, as much as we switched into "My landlord is the devil" mode, she's also thinking of you as a piece of shit who is just trying to fuck her out of money that you owe.

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It's all about covering your ass. It's perfectly fine to be polite and to assume the best from people, but when it comes to your money and your comfort, many of us have found that it's best to just expect them to be cocksuckers and be pleasantly surprised if they're not. Because as smooth and wonderful as things may go while you're living there and giving that person your hard-earned money, situations have a tendency to change when it's time to part ways and you have to say, "OK, now about that $800 you owe me ..."

John has a Twitter thing where he says words.

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