Win or lose, and we all know there is much more losing going on these days, the Diamondbacks have a promotion with Taco Bell as most of you know, to give away three free tacos with the purchase of a large drink between 4-6 pm the day after the Diamondbacks score six runs or more. Again, you get that, win or lose.

I noticed that 7-11 is giving away free Slurpee’s today, July 11th. Genius. I’m not sure many of us have stepped inside a 7-11 much lately with all the Quiktrips and Circle K’s floating around the valley. The Dbacks should give them some love. I haven’t had a Slurpee in years.

There are several good reasons why the Dbacks should consider a 7-11 promo. First, it should be tied to wins, not wins and losses. Let’s be honest, the Diamondbacks, who lost in humiliating fashion a couple of nights ago to the Florida Marlins 14-7 after leading 7-0 going into the top of the sixth inning, really didn’t do much for an appetite. Further more, when you don’t have an appetite, who the heck wants tacos? Don’t get me wrong, I love tacos, but since we know they don’t use real meat in their tacos, it just all in all puts a sour taste in my mouth. Sure the Dbacks scored 7 runs, but they became only the third team to give up a 7 run lead that late in the game and then lose by 7 or more. Pathetic. Every bit of those tacos I would have bought yesterday would have reminded me just how much Doug Slaten sucks. It would remind me that Juan Gutierrez couldn’t pitch for the Durham Bulls, much less the Arizona Diamondbacks. It would remind me that this Boyer guy ( I call him that because I’m still trying to figure out on what planet the Dbacks were on when they decided to pick up this treasure off waivers), can’t get an out to save his life. So, the last thing I want is a cruddy….and I mean cruddy, taco from Taco Bell.

I took advantage of the Taco Bell offer last week after a win against the Cincinnati Reds. Each hard shell taco was soggy and came apart before I could even take my first bite. Plus I had to pay $2.49 for a large drink that had ice filled to the top, so only really getting about 8 oz. of actual Diet Pepsi. Soda is the cheapest thing for restaurants to have, so why all of a sudden are we overcharging the consumer for this crap? Pisses me off damn it!

So, I need something sweeter than some stupid tacos I picked up while running for the border. I need a Slurpee from 7-11! Nothing would have tasted sweeter than a 7-11 Slurpee after Dan Haren’s masterpiece last night in an 8-0 victory over the Florida Marlins. Of course, if they did decide to tie a promo into losses on this one as well, just as when an ice cream would make it all better after getting hurt as a child, a Slurpee would take off the sting of a debilitating loss such as 14-7 after nursing a 7-0 lead.

If we are tying it into just wins, then the promo should be if the Dbacks score at least 7 runs and get at least 11 hits, then a free 7-11 Slurpee should be ours. None of this tacos if we score 6 win or lose crap. Uggh….plus it is summer time and we live in Phoenix frikin’ Arizona. It’s 115 today!! Who would rather have a 7-11 Slurpee at 4pm today than 3 soggy tacos? ME baby ME!! Let’s start a writing campaign to Dbacks President Derrick Hall. He’s not doing anything better right now as we all know the only decent move the Dbacks have made recently to make this team better was to trade Tony Pena. Even that though turned out to be a cruddy deal because they called up Doug Slaten to replace him. That’s like trading Purgatory for Hell. When are the Dbacks going to open their eyes and see Slaten couldn’t get my two-year old son out much less a major league hitter?

Enjoy the hot day!

Scott Allen

AZScott