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Australia all rounder Shane Watson has subtly reminded the selectors of the Australian cricket team that he has a set of photographs of them dumping the body of a dead hooker in a remote forest, just in case they were thinking of dropping him from the test side.

“The negatives are stored in a safe place that only Brad Haddin and I know the location of,” said the besieged Watson, whose place in the team has been in question since the day he was born. “If Rod Marsh wants to check his Facebook account he’ll find a PM containing a photo of Mark Waugh and himself carrying a dead hooker into the forest while Darren Lehmann follows with a shovel over his shoulder and Trevor Hohns holds a torch.”

“That explains everything”, said former Australian off spinner Ray Bright, author of The Dummies Guide To Being A Baffling Selection In The Test Team. “I myself owned a set of compromising photographs of Don Bradman in bed with a Thai ladyboy that I leveraged into a string of overseas tours.”

The Australian selectors have refused to comment on the story, preferring to spend the day hard at work cleaning the back tray of Darren Lehmann’s ute.



Peter Green

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Categories: Sport