The third season of Game of Thrones has finally debuted, and we're back to chronicle the TV adaptation of George R. R. Martin's world of Westeros – and how it differs from the books – in a series of letters between Wired writers (and Game of Thrones fanatics) Erik Henriksen and Laura Hudson. Spoilers for this episode obviously follow.

Laura, I hope this crow finds you well. I send it to discuss a tale I don’t doubt you’ve heard: “Valar Dohaeris,” the season premiere of Game of Thrones! After so long a wait, I feel it a matter of great urgency to discuss.

First, a recap! In the North, Sam finds his brothers in the Night's Watch battered and bleeding after the battle with the White Walkers that closed Season 2. Lord Commander Mormont orders his men back to the Wall. “We have to make it, have to warn them,” the srs bsns Mormont intones, “or before winter’s done, everyone you’ve ever known will be dead.” (Great job keeping your men’s spirits up, chief.)

Elsewhere in the North, Jon Snow gets taken by Ygritte to meet Mance Rayder, the leader of the wildlings an – HOLY CRAP, THERE’S A GIANT! THE WILDLINGS HAVE GIANTS! FOR PETS! THIS SHOW IS GREAT! Anyway, after mistaking a fearsome ginger named Tormund Giantsbane for Rayder, Jon meets the actual Rayder, who is, thankfully, as badass as any dude who leads a bunch of outlaws (AND GIANTS) should be.

A mere 12 minutes and 45 seconds in, we get the first nipples of the season, thanks to Bronn's extracurriculars at a brothel in King’s Landing. He’s beckoned by Tyrion, and we’re reminded that Tyrion’s face is all jacked up from last season’s Battle of Blackwater Bay. Cersei takes pains to put him in his place, and his father Lord Tywin does the same, calling Tyrion an “ill-made, spiteful little creature full of envy, lust and low cunning.” For good measure, Tywin refuses to give Tyrion credit for saving King’s Landing, tells Tyrion he’ll never inherit the Lannisters’ fancy-pants castle, and warns Tyrion that the next whore Tyrion sleeps with will be hung. Tywin Lannister: Hand of the King! Father of the Year!

In (somewhat) less depressing Lannister news, Joffrey’s future queen, Margaery Tyrell, makes a big show of pulling a Mr. T and stopping off at the King’s Landing Rec Center (fine, an “orphanage”) to “rap” with some “teens” about “what’s happening.” Quickly establishing herself as everything Joffrey’s not – kind, charitable, not a beady-eyed sociopath – she is embraced by the commoners.

Margaery's actions don’t go unnoticed by Cersei, who, at the world’s most awkward family dinner, gets testy with her future daughter-in-law. Playing dumb, Margaery takes a few swipes at Cersei’s age and increasing obsolescence, and adds that it’s the Tyrells who’re supplying the food keeping the Lannisters alive! Snap, Margaery! Is it weird to feel bad for Cersei? This makes me feel bad for Cersei. (But it mostly makes me want to high-five Margaery.)

Elsewhere in King’s Landing, Littlefinger starts to creepily hit on Sansa, hinting that he might be able to take her away from the city! Littlefinger is Westeros’ Creepy Uncle.

Nineteen minutes and 45 seconds in, we see our second set of nipples this season, these from Davos (NICE) who’s washed up on some crappy island after the Battle of Blackwater Bay. Dumbly loyal to the last, Davos makes his way back to Dragonstone, where he tries to convince Stannis that Melisandre’s evil. Stannis, still butt-hurt from his defeat (and still inexplicably smitten with Melisandre) has him thrown in prison for his trouble.

The Starks! (Hey, remember when this show was like, about the Starks?) Robb – accompanied by his new wife, Talisa – is still leading his army around and claiming to be the King in the North. But then he comes upon Harrenhal, where he finds “200 northmen, slaughtered like sheep.” Reminded again of his mother Catelyn’s decision to release his only Lannister hostage, Jaime – and aware that his men are still extremely pissed about it – Robb orders her put in a “chamber that will serve as a cell.” Hey, they’re still less dysfunctional than the Lannisters.

Across the Narrow Sea, Danerys is on a ship, sailing for the city of Astapor, where she plans to buy an army, but all of her landlubber dothraki are seasick, and – HOLY CRAP, DANY’S DRAGONS! THEY’RE ALL BIG AND BADASS! THIS SHOW IS GREAT!

In Astapor, a slaver offers to sell Dany 8,000 of the “Unsullied” – powerful, castrated slave-warriors who live only for battle. Dany worries about being a slave owner, though, because ugh, morals, but then she gets distracted by a little girl who wants to play catch! Except the little girl’s ball actually contains some sort of horrid little Starship Troopers bug that attacks Dany.

Turns out the little girl was a warlock assassin, because of course she was, because this is Game of Thrones. Dany’s saved by Ser Barristan Selmy, the former leader of the Kingsguard, who was rudely dismissed by Joffrey waaay back in Season 1. Selmy – who’s old, but still “one of the greatest fighters the Seven Kingdoms have ever seen” – vows to help Dany reclaim her throne. Not a bad ally, Dany! I mean, he’s not, like, a giant or anything. But still.

-Erik

Erik, one of the things I noticed (and liked) the most about the premiere is how much more willing the show is now to diverge from the canonical text of the book – not in terms of plot, but in terms of additive material that didn't (and often couldn't) appear in the novels. It's both more interesting as a long-time fan who knows this story by heart – there are actual surprises! – and necessary, considering the limitations of that source material.

Every chapter in the novels takes place from the point of view of a certain character – usually, significant ones like Jaime or Arya – which certainly helps you get in their heads, but is its own sort of limitation. One of the earliest examples (and highlights of the previous seasons) was the sharp-tongued conversations between Littlefinger and Varys, the two masters of secrets. They aren't point-of-view characters, which is likely why we didn't see more of their enormously entertaining sniping in the book. But we can see on the show, and I'm glad we do.

Similarly, the books would have had no way to depict the conversation that takes place between Shae and Ros in this episode; there simply weren't any point-of-view characters there to hear it. Speaking of Ros – a character who is entirely the invention of the show – she's another shining example of the TV series developing something new that doesn't contradict the canon, but has added some extra folds of its own to the story. Originally a bunch of random bit-character prostitutes, Ros has become quite an interesting woman in her own right.

Robb's wife, Talisa, is another innovation of the series; in the books, Robb broke his vow to marry a girl from House Frey for a girl named Jeyne Westerling, the daughter of a Lannister bannerman he fell in love with after storming her family's castle. I wasn't thrilled about the change at first (especially since it cuts out a whole chunk of the military campaign) but I do feel like Talisa comes across as a more interesting and fully developed human than Jeyne ever did, so points for that.

We also get to see a lot more of Margaery in the show, whose cunning and intelligence are far more dazzling when you observe them firsthand, rather than just seeing their effects on characters in the novels. The contrast between her and Cersei is particularly dramatic during the dinner scene where she appears in a flowing, revealing garment while Cersei's dress is almost literally armored with metalwork. (METAPHOR?)

Margaery is just as lovely as Cersei, not to mention younger, and also everything she's not: open, warm, easy to adore – oh, and spectacularly good at manipulating people, including Joffrey, whom Cersei now finds it harder and harder to control. That's the biggest difference between them, really: Cersei has always been terrible at the titular game of thrones, bad at judging the angles and quick to display force instead of true power. Margaery, however, is not only smart enough to know exactly which pieces need to be moved around the board, but charming enough to make them move for her – and do it with a smile on their faces. She has all of Cersei's gifts (beauty and ... well, mainly beauty) and none of her flaws. Naturally, Cersei hates her.

So yes, the HBO show enjoys its random, naked lady sex-objects, but in terms of plot, the TV version has done a great deal to develop its female characters in ways that actually do one better than the books. Keep it up!

-Laura

Photo: HBO

Totally, Laura. And I’d add Sansa to the list of female characters who’ve been dramatically improved by the shift to TV. Can’t stand her in the books, can’t help but root for her in the show. (That said, counterpoint: Brienne, at least as of last season, remains as one-dimensional, boring and head-smackingly dull as she is on the page.) I’m particularly stoked to see Margaery continue sneaking her way into the game of thrones – especially since all the other characters are clearly wary of her. Except Joffrey, but that’s just because he’s too stupid to be. Stupid, stupid Joffrey.

It’s easy to come up with a few complaints about this first episode – starting with the fact that it begins with the sounds of yet another battle that we don’t get to see, a running annoyance with the series – but it mostly did a whole lot right. I was super stoked to see Ciarán Hinds as Mance Rayder and Kristofer Hivju as Tormund Giantsbane; they’re fantastic additions to the cast. My favorite stuff in Game of Thrones is everything that takes place at the Wall and beyond it, and it was excellent to see the excellent Rose Leslie and her Ygritte again, continuing to be a 100 percent great counterpoint to ol’ sad-sack Jon Snow.

That said, one of the best scenes – and one that will set up a lot, I think, for this season – was seeing Cersei desperately grasp at her diminishing power, like when she tells Tyrion, “I’m not afraid of you, little brother.” And she isn’t – for perhaps the first time, Tyrion is now scared of her. That’s a big shift, considering last season was basically Tyrion in Charge.

I’m excited for next week, largely because I suspect that’s when we’re finally going to get to see what Arya’s up to. After this season premiere, we’re caught up with just about everybody except Arya, who, you know, is only the series’ raddest character. Next week’s episode better be all Arya, all the time! I know it’s supposed to be called “Dark Wings, Dark Words,” but “Arya in Charge” would probably be a better title. Think about it, HBO.

-Erik

Point taken about the battle, Erik, but – and I don't think this is really a spoiler for a book titled Storm of Swords – there's a fair number of battles in this book, and I doubt the show can afford to film them all. I don't know if you ever watched HBO's Rome, but it had the same habit of cutting away to the aftermath of battles that were too expensive to shoot.

Finally, while I cannot dispute that Arya is incredibly cool, I think she and Tyrion are in a pretty dead heat for the “best character in the series” title. Despite all the dragons and psychic wolves, the part of this show where I really have trouble suspending my disbelief is Tyrion. Despite being brilliant, charming and handsome as all get out, we're somehow still supposed to accept that everyone around him – especially his family – treats him like total crap and thinks he's worthless. It's like how in Smallville Hollywood somehow thought we would plausibly believe that Tom Welling was a nerdy outcast who got picked on by the jocks. Really? This guy?

I mean, I know it's a medieval society that's pretty prejudiced toward dwarves, but he basically saves all of their lives and their control of the Kingdom and he gets repaid by his family with a murder attempt, getting stripped of all power and credit, and then death threats against his favorite lady? Come on. I know life isn't fair and everything, but the discrepancy between how amazing Tyrion is and how badly everyone treats him is almost comical.

-Laura

Next week: Arya (finally!), Diana Rigg as Lady Olenna Redwyne (finally!) and Brienne versus Jaime (finally!).