Mr. Adams, who favors stronger spousal rape laws, said: ''I think jailing can be very theraputic because, one, it is a consequence, and men will look at something if they get caught, and two, it is a statement from the public that it is wrong. It is not just private behavior, it is a crime against society.''

David Finkelhor, the associate director of the family violence research program at the University of New Hampshire who is co-author of a book on marital rape, said of sexual abuse by husbands: ''These are brutal acts that are most often committed out of anger or power, with the idea to humiliate, demean or degrade the wife.''

Studies by the research program have found that one out of 10 wives has been sexually assaulted at least once by her husband.

As for why many women remain in these relationships, Dr. Finkelhor said: ''They stay because there is affection and love and positive feeling, because people's relationships are built out of a great many experiences and people have many years invested in a marriage. Or wives believe their husbands will change. For some, it's a case of being an economic hardship.'' Plight of Abused Wife

In Michigan, a coalition of women's groups supporting the Attorney General's arguments filed an affidavit from a sexually abused wife, married since 1973 with an 11-year-old daughter, who said:

''Since the birth of my child, I have been forced more than 40 times by my husband to engage in sexual acts that caused me a lot of physical pain and that I feel are degrading and demeaning to me as a person. Although I have filed for divorce, my husband refuses to move out of our house. I have very little income of my own and cannot leave my home. My understanding of the law is that if he should force himself on me now, even though I have filed for divorce, he could not be prosecuted for his assaults.''

Drives for changes in marital rape laws are under way in a number of states, including Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Nevada, North Carolina, Maryland, Missouri and Tennessee.

State organizations are frequently assisted with information and in court arguments by the National Center on Women and Family Law, a federally financed organization in Manhattan assisting women who are poor, their lawyers and their advocates; the Center for Constitutional Rights, a civil rights litigation and educational organization, also in Manhattan, and the National Clearinghouse on Marital and Date Rape. 'We Don't Want Any Exceptions'