That same response is something I’ve faced throughout my life (Picture: Ken McKay/ITV/REX)

This Morning has spoiled us with some legendary telly recently – remember Iris and her KY Jelly? – but Phillip Schofield opening up to Holly about being a gay man is one of the most powerful moments I’ve ever seen on that famous sofa.

When someone in the public eye shows the bravery and courage to make an announcement about their sexuality, the hairs on the back of my neck still stand up. As an out and proud queer man, it’s sometimes easy to forget just how momentous these kind of moments are.

In true form Twitter has delivered its verdict to the unfolding events and for the most part it’s been a celebration and a big welcome from LGBT+ people and our allies.



But the most disappointing hot take is people using a line that still gives me shivers, ‘oh yeah, I already knew that’. No, you didn’t. Because Phillip’s sexuality was, and will continue to be, his to own. End of.


That same response is something I’ve faced throughout my life.

It was during the early part of my teenage years that I came to terms with the fact that I was staring at men for a little longer than I first expected on the telly.

But I also spent a lot of time forward planning my actions – how I talked, how I dressed – to not ‘give the game away’ that I wasn’t straight.

It was utterly exhausting and relentless, and I’ve probably only realised the impact of analysing my behaviours constantly has had on my mental health.

So when I did decide to come out and heard the words, ‘oh, I always knew’ uttered with a smile, it stung. It was as if the game was up and I had lost.

Not only had I just found the bravery to express those feelings I’d been effectively repressing, I was being accused of being some kind of fraud. Hurt only begins to describe how I felt.

I’d sometimes ask how that person knew without me telling them. ‘The clues were there’ was usually the response.

The clues. As if they were collected in some sort of Sherlock Holmes binder of evidence, that – let’s be frank – were probably based on nothing more than homophobic stereotypes.

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And that point still rings true today. My Twitter account has been littered with people showing images of Phillip Schofield wearing certain clothes as if they were somehow evidence of him being a gay man.

Honestly, give me strength.

This kind of response is exactly why people are still so fearful about coming out.

It’s also important not to underestimate the huge pressure put on people in the public eye when they come out. The relentless hounding by the press to out the first gay footballer is just one example of this.

We also need to keep in mind the huge mental health problems LGBT+ people continue to experience. According to Stonewall, over half experience depression, while one in eight young LGBT+ people attempted to take their own life in 2018.



In light of this, the best response to someone coming out for the first time is to do one thing: listen. That’s all you need to do.

Listen to find out how you can best support someone who has probably been agonising and rehearsing this moment for years and years.That’s exactly what Holly did on that sofa earlier today.

I know that I’m fortunate enough to – at times – live in a bit of a bubble, surrounded by other LGBT+ people, happy to talk openly about our lives on social media.

But seeing Phillip talk so honestly about his journey, was a real reminder that for every rainbow emoji on a Twitter profile there’s another person out there who is still struggling, living in fear and anxious about revealing their true selves.

And to people in my community who have trotted out speculation over social media, you should know better.

Don’t bring someone down just as they have shown that very same bravery and vulnerability we all had to go through when coming out for the first time.

Just like the day I first came out, Phillip, today is your moment and yours alone. Welcome.

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