“I’m a Lawyer. I Hate It. What Now?”

QQ more. Kthnx, bye!

If I could get away with it, that’s all I would post for this column. But I think Lat would say that it doesn’t exactly meet my quota, so I’ll elaborate.

“I’m a Lawyer. I Hate It. What Now?” is yet another “woe to be me!” schlock post, appearing at Slate. But I repeat myself.

At this point it seems like there is a cottage industry of journalists writing about either (a) what a crappy time it is to be a lawyer or (b) how crappy it is to be a lawyer. The Slate post is of the latter variety. Let’s take a moment to look at this poor J.D., who can’t stand her job, profiled in this piece:

After college, she (Ann) volunteered abroad and then went to law school hoping “to help people and do some kind of social justice work.” (Also, “frankly, I didn’t exactly know what else to do, and, as my dad always says, I like to read, write, and argue.”)

Hmm. Let’s consider this for a moment. Either Ann is:

At an atypical law firm that is particularly horrible; or

SHE WENT TO LAW SCHOOL FOR SOME DUMBASS REASONS.

Pretty safe bet it’s the latter. Although, if she had waited a few more years, and law schools continued to stick their heads in the sand instead of addressing systemic problems, she might have gotten her wish.

It’s not like Ann went to law school in an era when organizations like Law School Transparency didn’t exist. When extensive coverage of the woes of the legal industry didn’t exist. Anne graduated in 2014. That means she enrolled in law school in 2011, back when Above The Law was running stories about it being the worst job market for lawyers ever.

There was plenty of information out there about the state of the industry if Ann had bothered to look for it. There are books about being a lawyer that she could have read (affiliate links). Ann could have actually spent some time in or working at a law firm first, before just jumping into law school with a vague notion of “social justice” and “I like to argue.” I mean, no s**t, you don’t like your job, neither of those things have much to do with the day-to-day role of a lawyer.

But guess what? There are thousands of people with J.D.s who have never had a job as a lawyer that would kill for your “hated job.” They went to law school because they wanted to be lawyers, not because they were bored and didn’t know what else to do. They want to practice law, not become a “consultant, coach, or counselor specializing in helping other lawyers figure out second careers.” That’s seriously a suggestion in the Slate post.

The above quote demonstrates yet another cottage industry that has sprung up in the past few years in the wake of the law school depression. Far too many law schools graduating far too many J.D.s who don’t really want to be lawyers for far too few jobs led to a bunch of people all telling each other what they should do instead of being lawyers. It’s pretty hilarious, really.

To help prevent all this from happening again, here is a quick FYI for people like Anne who are considering law school:

As should be incredibly obvious, being a lawyer is nothing at all like it is portrayed in the media. It is not Law & Order, it is not Suits.

The majority of lawyers are solo practitioners. They do not work in huge firms on the 47th floor in NYC. Most of them are in flyover country.

Lawyers spend very little time in a courtroom, and even less time “arguing.” “Social justice?” LOL.

Lawyers spend most of their time in their offices, at their desks. Lawyers spend inordinate amounts of time on the phone and replying to email. Lawyers write lots of letters and other tedious business documents.

As has been said before, being a lawyer is like doing homework for a living. Do you like reading immense amounts of dry material? Hours searching for a needle in a haystack? Writing thousands of words on a regular basis? All for transient topics that will often change with each client or case, having little to do with your own personal “passions?”

No? Go do something else.

And QQ more.

Keith Lee practices law at Hamer Law Group, LLC in Birmingham, Alabama. He writes about professional development, the law, the universe, and everything at Associate’s Mind. He is also the author of The Marble and The Sculptor: From Law School To Law Practice (affiliate link), published by the ABA. You can reach him at keith.lee@hamerlawgroup.com or on Twitter at @associatesmind.