Nation's Democrats Reminisce About Pre-Kavanaugh Era When They Staunchly Defended Due Process

U.S.—Democrats across the land Wednesday took a moment to lightheartedly reminisce about “the good ol’ days” when they staunchly defended citizens against any perceived deprivation of due process by those in power, sources confirmed.

“Remember when we championed the plight of the individual against institutions that would condemn them without allowing them the opportunity to declare their innocence and clear their name? Good times,” numerous liberals gathered at an anti-Kavanaugh rally said with a chuckle. "We were so young then, those short few weeks ago."

“Innocent until proven guilty, remember?” another group of progressives said as they chased a Republican congressman out of a restaurant. “Being deeply concerned about things like trumped-up charges, false convictions, and abuse of power...I’ll tell ya, even though it was a week or two ago, it seems like just yesterday.”

At publishing time, the nation’s Democrats confirmed that they would resume caring about equal treatment under the law once “that [expletive] Kavanaugh” was “rotting in prison.”

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