I am 20 years old, and I am size 26-28, measurements 50-55-62. I do not fit into the largest sizes at ASOS Curve and Forever 21+ and trendy places so whenever I look at all these adorable fat girls sizes 14-20, I am so incredibly jealous and resentful. I want to wear babydoll dresses and rompers and crop tops and skater dresses and printed leggings, cute, age-appropriate clothes (to the point where i did a low calorie diet for a month in april so that maybe i could have nice things. didn’t work, as always). But due to my size I am forced to either make my own cute things (which I really do not have the skills or the time for as a full time student with two part time jobs) or shop at Avenue and Lane Bryant. (I try to boycott Walmart and Target because of their despicable business practices.)

I like shopping online, but it is such a risk everytime because sometimes, even when the stated measurements say something will fit, it won’t because the size charts are based on a standard, and not measuring the actual garment. I end up selling shit on ebay in lots because returning it wouldn’t be worth paying the shipping to send it back. The only trendy online shop that fits me is Domino Dollhouse, but they sell out fast in my size and I can’t afford pieces at $60-100 a pop. So I dress in the most well-fitting items i can find, but my style is more 30-something than 20-year-old girl, because it has to be because that is what i can get. Most people guess my age at 25 or higher. It really hurts my feelings because people my own age don’t talk to me or ask me to party or do fun hangout things because they think I’m much older and also that i’m in the HR department instead of a student. No matter how gregarious I try to be, people judge me by my appearance. To say absolutely nothing of dating. I am a lesbian and no girls my age look at me twice because to them I look like a soccer mom!

Bottom line I’m forced to pay more than thin women, for clothes that don’t fit well, age me, and deny me self-expression. So fucking stupid and sick of it. I want more options.