A running list of North Korea’s near-daily threats (updated)

If you’re having a hard time keeping track of the multitude of threats issued by North Korea in the last few weeks, you’re not alone: Kim Jong Un’s young regime is on a seemingly endless tear of warnings and provocations. From threats of a nuclear holocaust to artillery strikes near disputed borders, here are the latest shots across the bow from the Hermit Kingdom, beginning with those that followed international sanctions over Pyongyang’s third nuclear test in February:

1. We now have "lighter and smaller" nukes, and we’re not afraid to use them against the United States.

2. Are you ready for the silent treatment? We just cut our military hotline with South Korea.

3. We also just tore up all previous non-aggression pacts with South Korea.

4. In response to these UN sanctions, we’re going to "exercise the right to a pre-emptive nuclear attack."

5. We’re ready for "all-out war."

6. We just invalidated the 1953 amristice, so anything’s fair game.

7. Seriously, that armistice agreement has been invalidated.

8. Now we’re sharply increasing the number of training flights for our fighter-jets.

9. Not impressed? How about we turn South Korea’s Baengyeong Island into a "sea of fire"?

10. Now we’re conducting live-fire drills near a disputed maritime border.

11. Just FYI, our military personnel are standing by to "annihilate the U.S. imperialist aggressors."

12. At this very moment, all of our citizens are singing a song about wiping out the "U.S. imperialists."

13. We’re so serious about going to war that we conducted a practice drone strike.

14. That’s it: We’re conducting air-raid drills.

15. We will order "strong military counter-action" if the U.S. conducts more B-52 bomber sorties.

16. Seriously, we’ll destroy your military bases in Japan and Guam if you fly one more B-52 bomber around here.

17. One more move and we’ll start taking hostages … American hostages.

18. Don’t mess with us, we just set our field artillery units to the "highest alert."

19. Remember when we cut our military hotline? Well we actually have another military hotline, but not anymore because we just cut that too.

20. Also, we’re going to let you in on a secret: We can now drop bombs on Hawaii, Washington, Austin, and Los Angeles.

21. Come to think of it, the U.S. mainland is like a "boiled pumpkin" vulnerable to attack.

22. Now we’re blocking access to the Kaesong industrial complex, which we may close off permanently if you don’t take us seriously.

23. We now have "final approval" to nuke the United States.

24. A word to the wise: Do not "misjudge the will of the army and people of the DPRK to annihilate enemies."

To be continued…