Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a nerd and that I love dick. So it’s no surprise that I’ve had my eyes on Bad Dragon Sex Toys for a very long time. They’re a company that, from when I first noticed them several years ago, have always seemed to be spoken highly of, had a reputation among my circle of friends and when longingly looking at the products that they stocked would both inspire an awe dropping look combined with profound arousal. For whatever reason though, I kept putting it off and didn’t take the plunge – but when I was asked if I wanted to do a review on a Bad Dragon product, well the speed of which my hand shot upwards would have put The Flash to shame. So what is it about Bad Dragon?

They’re a company that has a solid base in the fantasy community. And this is a community that can amass a cult like following on a lot of things out there. From the BD website, you can read that they were founded in the late 00’s for a love of all things fantasy and through the understanding that there just wasn’t a lot of fantasy themed adult toys out there and that’s true to this day. When you’re looking at dildos and sex toys whilst there’s an overabundance of choice in sex toys that mimic the look of human genitalia, when it comes to something that looks a little less human or something that stands out from the crowd – there’s a lot less choice.

There was a niche that wasn’t being filled and Bad Dragon was determined to fly in to the rescue. Unlike a lot of other companies out there, Bad Dragon not only offers something that sits outside of the box, but they also offer an extensive level of customisation. So when I was offered the chance to select one I honestly did not know where to start. Not only did they all look amazing, but then they had the options of size, colour, and then firmness! I absolutely love this attention to detail. It’s not so much of a ‘pick a cock that looks like every other cock from the wall and take it home’ kind of moment. But from start to finish, it’s like you have a direct hand in the creation of this sex toy, and this is something that very much reminds me of the cognitive thought processes of the ‘Ikea Effect’ – whereby individuals place a high value on things that they have partially created. It’s an amazing marketing POV and it fits right in this niche market they’re filling. Sure, the base design is something you pick – but from that moment of selecting the base design, you can take your dildo to the edges of your imagination and beyond as you customise it to your own tastes. It’s a shit load of fun. Stressful as you try and get the perfect design, but immensely fun.

After going through endlessly on their website I ended up selecting the Winston’s Tongue. It appealed to me with its smoothness, the detailing of the jaw, the curvature and the super-hot idea of a dragon tongue on my ass. My complete order was the tongue in Small, Medium Firmness and in blue signature. I wasn’t overly sure about the firmness, and this is one of the things about ordering a sex toy from an online website – you’re just not always sure what to expect. So I just rolled with it.

Fast forward a week or so later and the box arrived. I was stunned with what was inside. Not only had I been sent the dildo, but I’d also been sent some Dragon Cum Lube in White, Sex Toy Cleaner and a Key Ring. Talk about going the extra leg and really going all out and I was pleasantly surprised.

Bad Dragon’s Cum Lube

Now, before we get to the dildo, I want to talk about the Cum Lube. Because it’s just amazing and it certainly deserves a mention. Whilst I wasn’t expecting it – this is one super fun lubricant and right off the bat, I’ll admit its shot up to the top of my favourite personal lubricants. It’s hot, it’s sexy, it’s messy as all hell but it’s just so fitting. I was in the shower when I first tried it and the sex toy and I had streaks of it going left, right and just all over the place. It’s exactly what you’d expect if Spiderman ejaculated into your hand a “sticky” wet mess and what amazes me most, is that its water based. I’ve hated water based lubricants and the only reason that I ever use it is for sex toys. I hate the smell, the tackiness and it’s just shit. This however, is durable and by the photos it seems sticky and in a way it is, but it’s not tacky. It’s slick, and stretchy and sinuous and I can’t say that I’ve ever had as much fun playing with lubricant as I did when I got my hands on this. A wet lubricant, slick and fun. If you’re considering getting a Bad Dragon dildo because you think the fantasy element is hot, then you’re going to need this Dragon Cum Lube too, because the two go together like butter on hot toast.

What I Love About My Winston’s Tongue

Now… the tongue. I chose the tongue because it wasn’t a cock, and I was really looking for something different. This is pitched as an oral expert and a cunning linguist, and it was certainly something that I was intrigued by. I loved the look of it, the colour I chose looked amazing, and unlike a lot of the other variants – this one was smooth. I went smooth because I admit, I wasn’t sure just how the silicone was going to be, and the ribbing on the underside of the tongue looked like it was going to be fun. I have a few silicone sex toys and whilst some are super soft and squishy, others are hurtfully hard with prolonged use. When I got this in my hands, I was surprised at the flexibility of the sex toy, the softness and the way it felt. Don’t get me wrong, this tongue wasn’t a marshmallow but nor was it a solid rock and it felt good. I just love the detailing on it, despite the simplicity of it. The top of the tongue has a muscle like groove in the middle which extends towards the tip before petering out. Running your fingers along this, leaving a trail of lubricant behind and you can almost imagine that you’re stroking a tongue of some creature – it’s so cool. Even more so that when you reach the top of the tongue, that it just moves with you. On the other side, the back of the tongue has ribbing on either side of the ‘muscle’. Subtle enough to not be over the top, but not so subtle so as not to be felt. While the shaft is fairly standard, it’s the ‘housing’ of the shaft which really sets this apart in my world, for it’s a tongue, coming out of a dragons mouth. From the flared nostrils of the dragon, to the teeth on either side of the tongue – did I mention that this was hot?

The tongue is, in my opinion, perfectly shaped and curved. The faded blue to dark blue that I ordered simply doing its part in = making the sex toy look stunning. The tip on the tongue is quite thin, and very, very flexible. They’re dead right in the sense that this has been built with oral pleasures in mind. During one session I lubed up this tongue with the Cum Lube, put the tip against my body and let it ‘lick’ my thighs and worked it slowly up. Between the flexibility of the tongue, and the lubricant not only was it leaving a delightful strand of realistic looking cum that just sits against your skin – but it felt amazing. The way that the tip of the tongue is grooved like a muscle and the way it just ‘responds’ to a little pressure – well, this is fast becoming one of my most used and favourite sex toys.

Author: Stephen Smith – BA Of Social Sciences, M.EdSave

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Stephen is a cis-gendered gay male who spends far too much time with his two cats and eating tim tams. A self-identified sex-positive advocate he cares deeply about gender equality, disabilities, sexual education and social issues. Opinionated and bold he isn’t afraid to speak his mind and say what others won’t. With a yearning for knowledge and experience in all things relating to sex, he is a prolific writer that has developed the content for a myriad of informative Sexual Health and Wellness websites. Stephen’s articles and writings tends to focus on social issues, sexual education, queer issues and all things fetish and absurd. He comes qualified with the completion of a double Bachelor degree in Social Sciences and literature, and a Masters in Education. www.adultsmart.com.au

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