Tonight is the final presidential debate of 2016, the last chance for both candidates to stand on a stage and thoughtfully present their policy proposals in a mature discussion of facts and political philosophies. Or it would be if it were any other year. Instead, this is the last time we'll see Donald Trump talking about Sidney Blumenthal and George Soros on a stage where Hillary Clinton tries to talk about policy. It's also the last chance for Trump to appear normal and sane in a "presidential setting" in front of an American television audience, and the NY Post has a brilliant plan for how he can do that.

The Post's Michael Goodwin lays out what he called a "Hail Mary" for the Trump campaign, suggesting that Trump can still win over easily persuadable voters tonight by just acting normal for two goddamn hours. No interruptions, no stalking around the stage and for the love of god show a little humility, Goodwin essentially begs Trump. The meat of Goodwin's argument is the following passage:

Something really different. I mean humility, as in making a heart-to-heart plea for Americans to trust you with their sacred vote and pledging never to violate that trust or embarrass them.

Let's leave aside the idea that "Don't be a dick," is this campaign's desperation heave, as funny as that is. Apologizing for his latest shitstorm and humbly prostrating himself before the American people is something conservatives asked Trump to do before the last debate, and we all remember how well that one went. Still, maybe this time he's ready to listen? Oh wait, this just in:

President Obama’s Kenya-born half-brother Malik will be in the audience in Las Vegas on Wednesday night when Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton square off in their third and final debate. ... “I’m excited to be at the debate. Trump can make America great again,” Malik told The Post.

Trump and his campaign braintrust still seem to believe that bringing wild card debate guests will somehow cause Hillary Clinton to melt down on stage. Tonight, it's noted Trump supporter and presidential half-brother Malik Obama. Man, who knew asking Donald Trump not to act like an impulsive rich lunatic for more than five minutes at a time would be as effective as asking a dog not to lick its own asshole? (Other than literally everyone watching the election for the past year, I mean.)

What's the point of inviting Malik Obama exactly? Who can possibly know. It's not like Trump can seat Malik at the commentary table in order to unnerve Clinton and potentially interfere in the debate like this is an episode of Smackdown Live! And it appears that no matter how hard he tries, Trump isn't going to be able to pin the birther movement on Hillary Clinton, so it can't possibly have something to do with that. But hey, if Trump just brings Mailk as his guest, it's kind of a step back from when Steve Bannon and Jared Kushner tried to seat women who have accused Bill Clinton of sexual misconduct in the Trump family box at the second debate. So maybe this is Trump's version of humility and maturity.

On @CNN @brianstelter reports that Steve Bannon says "Malik Obama is just the appetizer" at tonight's debate. — Josh Wortman (@jrwortman) October 19, 2016

Jesus, maybe inviting Mark Cuban to the first debate really did start a four-week rage blackout that Donald Trump will just never wake up from. It wouldn't surprise us if tonight's strategy involves a blowgun and a pellet of ricin.

The debate airs at 9 p.m. ET on multiple networks and platforms.

