‘He’s In A Crack House,’ Agent Assures Media


LOS ANGELES—Following numerous unofficial reports that former Los Angeles Lakers forward and current free agent Lamar Odom has gone missing, a representative for the basketball player sought to quash the speculation surrounding his client and his whereabouts Tuesday, assuring reporters that Odom is safe and sound in a local crack house. “There have been a lot of rumors flying around about Lamar lately, so I just want to make it perfectly clear that he hasn’t gone missing; he just hasn’t been seen recently because he’s smoking crack in a crack house,” said Odom’s agent Jeff Schwartz, clarifying that the two-time NBA champion has, since his supposed disappearance, been spending time in a burned-out apartment building in Los Angeles’ Inglewood neighborhood, which Schwartz described as “Lamar’s favorite crack house.” “While I know a lot of people have expressed concern that Lamar hasn’t been heard from in a few days, I want to emphasize that there’s absolutely no cause for alarm here. Like I said, he’s just in a crack house, smoking crack with a bunch of other people who are also smoking crack. He does this all the time.” Schwartz added that the reason his client is smoking crack is because he’s addicted to crack.