INTERVIEW LOG

Interviewed: PoI-2343

Interviewer: Researcher Sarah Clemson

<Begin Log>

Researcher Clemson: Hello, Jacob. How are you feeling today?

PoI-2343: I'm doing great!

Researcher Clemson: That's good to hear. Last month you had a science fair at your school, correct?

PoI-2343: Yup.

Researcher Clemson: What was your project for the science fair?

PoI-2343: Well, I put two bowls with flypaper in them in two different places, one out in the sun, and one inside near an open window for a couple hours. I was gonna see the difference in flies collected in the bowl if the bowl was inside versus outside.

Researcher Clemson: When did you discover the bowl's properties?

PoI-2343: A day before the fair. I was checking up on both of the bowls to see what I caught. The bowl outside collected way more flies than the other. Way more. Anyway, I was gonna bring the outside bowl back inside, when I heard someone say, "It smells in here." It came from the bowl of dead flies.

Researcher Clemson: What did it say to you?

PoI-2343: Well, it really scared me. I went over to pick it up, and it said "Hey, kid, over here, give me a hand?" and "If you could get rid of this flypaper that would be great." It was weird too, it spoke without a mouth, and I heard it talking in my head. It didn't have any ears either, but it could hear me.

PoI-2343: Anyway, I accidentally threw it off the table. Uh, then we talked for a bit after I calmed down. It said that it was a "nice and friendly" person, talked about how it got all the ladies, and how everyone thought he was the best.

Researcher Clemson: What did you do after that?

PoI-2343: Actually, we had a conversation about picking up girls. He told me he could be my wingman, show me the ropes on how to score one, how to be smooth and all that. I really didn't know what he was doing, but I was, and still am, an awkward high school student, so I listened. Once I got past him being, uh, odd, we actually became good friends as well, and we would have conversations with each other when nobody was looking. I didn't tell anyone about it, because I was literally asking for dating advice from a bowl of dead flies.

Researcher Clemson: I see. Anything else of note before we acquired it?

PoI-2343: It told me it was good at video games, so I gave it my computer so that "he could teach me." It teleported all over the keyboard and pressed a bunch of random buttons, and he used all of my items at once, and jumped off a cliff. He told me my keyboard sucked.

Researcher Clemson: Hmm, I see. This interview is over. Thank you for cooperating, Jacob.

PoI-2343: No problem. Where is Bernard, anyways?

Researcher Clemson: We're checking him at the moment. You'll be reunited shortly.

PoI-2343: Thanks, ma'am.

<End Log>