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Whatsapp For a variety of reasons, more Australians are choosing not to have children.

More Australians are choosing not to have children, yet there is still a stigma attached to being childless, especially for women. Evidence is now emerging that kids don't necessarily make you happy or improve your wellbeing. Life Matters listeners discuss the many reasons they did not have children.

I had my daughter when I was 41 so I had many years as a 'child-free' person. When you are a woman of a certain age without children, there is definitely a sense that you are at times pitied, sometimes regarded with bafflement, often characterised as a 'career woman' and even seen as selfish. Not a single one of these characterisations tells the full story and some of them are blatantly unfair.

-Monique, via Facebook



People ask why we made that decision often stating what a big decision it is; it is probably an even bigger decision to choose to have children, it just happens to be the social norm.

The assumption is I do have children ... Funnily enough it’s men who usually look the most shocked or disappointed. Maybe it’s location based, but having a family is almost like a set prerequisite. There were a lot of reasons, but the main one was that I didn’t want to be a single mother, so that was a very pragmatic choice on my part.

-Emma, via phone



It’s hurtful when I am referred to as child-free—there’s nothing freeing about it.

-Louise, via text



When my friends were young and having babies it never interested me. When I had a partner who I could’ve with, he wasn’t terribly responsible ... I always wanted to be an independent woman, and not to depend on an irresponsible man. As an adult woman, I don’t regret it. Life is about reaching your full potential whatever that is—with children or without. There are so many other choices in life.



-Jane, via phone



To me, 'Childless' rings with loss and 'Child-free' rings with freedom! I thought I never wanted children and made choices that way. But now at 43 I regret that decision deeply as I feel that loss echo around & within me. 'Child-free', however, keeps me inspired to move on & find the endless possibilities of freedom.

-Tracey, via Facebook



I love children, I have 23 nieces and nephews, and I stop women in the street and want to look at their babies. I’ve decided not to have children, but I feel that my hands have been tied behind my back. I have a mental illness, bipolar ... sometimes I can’t look after myself, let alone a child, so I made a conscious decision not to bring a child into that. In a way, I feel like I didn’t have a choice. I take my hat off to anyone who has a mental illness and a child; it must take extreme courage.



-Marie, via phone



We chose to be child-free based on a number of factors including our opinion that population growth is the single biggest factor altering our global environment. People ask why we made that decision often stating what a big decision it is; it is probably an even bigger decision to choose to have children, it just happens to be the social norm.

-Tim, via Facebook



I’m 70 now and can recall as early as 1960s when it was de rig to be engaged at 18 and married by 21. I thought no way, and I have not regretted it. I have no regrets whatsoever. You really find out who you are as a person, not somebody’s wife or mother. Whether the government does recognise all us single ladies as something they should look after... does it really matter? Look after yourself.

-Jan, via phone



I am told I started telling people I wouldn’t have children when I was in primary school. Never fails to astound me the viciousness with that revelation can be received by women who do have children. I’ve never understood what’s going on there. They say things like ‘you’re so selfish’, ‘you’re going to be sorry, old and lonely one day and there’ll be nobody there and you’ll regret it’. I’m nearly 50 and no regrets yet.

-Sam, via phone



I think having children doesn’t always make you happy. My kids haven’t always been a great joy, but the best thing is you might get to have grandchildren, and the happiest moments of my life have been with my grandchildren.

-Vicky, via phone



Leave your comment below or join the conversation on Facebook.

Choosing a life without kids? Listen to the full episode of Life Matters to hear the panel discuss why more Australians are choosing not to have children.

Life Matters charts and analyses contemporary Australian life, with a special focus on social policy, personal stories, and listener contributions.

