WHY WE SIMPLY ROCK... a Testimonial

My Dearest GoKickball,

As I sit here in my cubicle pretending to do work, desperately trying to avoid making eye contact with any of my coworkers and drinking as much water as humanly possible in a failing attempt to combat my raging hangover, I can't help but blame you for my unfortunate and very depressing current state. And to be honest, I actually blame GoKickball for many things in my life right now.

Beginning with the civil war that is raging inside my head as a result of a wild kickball party we had post-game last night, to the copious amount of money spent on neon sunglasses, tall socks, toga sheets and cowboy hats in an effort to "enhance" our kickball experience with weekly themes and costumes, my dignity as well as my bank account have been grossly depleted at your expense. GoKickball, I blame you for the many Thursday mornings that I have lacked every ounce of my personality after one two many beers the night before with my fellow Hookers on the field. I blame you for the fact that we now know ALL of the Three Dogs bartenders and wait staff by name, a testament to the fact that no Hooker can turn down a good deal at a neighborhood bar... 16 weeks in a row.

I blame you and your league for allowing our team (initially a team of mere accquaintences) to come together and unite as a solid group of Hookers on the field. Bound by our love of cheap beer and dressing up, we have come together as neighbors, friends, and lovers (in some instances) only to have taken these relationships off the field, resulting in an extremely full social calendar and quite a bit of heavy boozing. I blame GoKickball for the side cramps that frequently ensued after five minutes of laughing when one of my teammates whiffed the ball, for the fourth time in a row. I also blame you for the severe increase in blood pressure that occurred when trying to get our costumes just right AND get to the field on time every Wednesday night. It has really been a long time since any of us has been reprimanded for being late, and I blame you for the compliment my boss gave me for being early for work these past few weeks as a result of moving the hands on our clock at home forward ten minutes in order to avoid conflict with our refs on the field.

It is also 100% your fault that I got a little emotional last night post-game, thinking about our season - the perfect season as we like to call it- coming to an end. It's your fault that every wednesday from here forward, I will miss writing our weekly Hooker pump up email congradulating the past week's MVP's and best dressed players as well as talking shit about the team we're about to play.

I blame you GoKickball for all of it. From the midweek benders, to the incredible friends made, from the ever-growing costume box in our attic to the hundreds of ridiculous pictures and memories, you are solely responsible. And though I am still currently in the darkest of places, I think we owe you a big thanks. Thank you for an exceptional two seasons on and off the field, Thursday and Wednesday nights are now my favorite nights of the week. See you next season.

With much love, hugs, kisses and warm PBR's,

Danielle

Captain of the Hookers