Quantum mechanics suggests that as you bore down deeper into matter, Newton’s laws break down. You enter a quirky, alternate universe of gluons and quarks, of probabilities and spin, and particles with “flavors” like charm and strangeness where the rules governing ordinary reality no longer apply.

Now enter the world of quantum conservatism, where commonsense rules of logic and evidence do not apply. It is a world of belief, not fact, where up is down, black is white, in is out, wrong is right.

To you and me, a cat locked in a box might be dead or alive. But quantum conservatism finds it easy to argue that Schrödinger’s Cat is both alive and dead … at the same time. For example, quantum conservatism believes government never created a job … and has too many people on its payroll. Quantum conservatism believes in freedom of religion, and that Muslims shouldn’t be able to put up mosques wherever they want to.

Quantum conservatism argues that we should follow the clear language of the Constitution … and that, “All persons born or naturalized in the United States,” are not citizens under the 14th Amendment when those persons are born to undocumented immigrants. Quantum conservatism complains that President Obama hasn’t done anything to curb entitlement spending, and in the next breath complains that Obama cut Medicare. Quantum conservatism (especially in Arizona) believes any employer should be able to fire a woman who uses contraceptives to prevent pregnancy … as well as to fire her if she actually gets pregnant.

And finally, quantum conservatism believes that Kentucky Fried Chicken is a person – headquartered in Louisville, in a bucket.

And that’s my sermon.

(Cross-posted from Scrutiny Hooligans.)

