How does one win coitus from an aficionado of the TARDIS? Wear a massive scarf. Also, tweed blazers and sneakers are essential. Here are some Who fans with a word or two on exterminating your romantic inhibitions.


In a recent column on Nerve, Doctor Who fans spilled the beans on how to win a mate and negotiate erotic imbroglios, even if you have the social graces of a Cyberman. Not to get all self-referential on our readership, but io9's very own Charlie Jane Anders drops some prime advice on balancing your sex life and house guests:

My girlfriend and I are having house guests for the next two weeks. We normally have very loud sex. How can we keep quiet without abandoning sex completely?

Here's your chance to try some new sexual techniques! The marsh-savants of Nexus 74 have sexual congress by rubbing their foreheads together, very slowly, for five or six hours. The Nebulons of Andromeda send their genitalia into orbit separately, but the trajectories are carefully calculated so that the two sets of genitals collide just as their orbits begin to decay, creating a single fireball which crashes into the largest artificial body of water (a reservoir would be perfect). Inhale the resulting steam until you pass out. Then there are the Fingerlegs of Proxima V, but perhaps you're not ready to hear about them yet.


As for my own Doctor Who-themed relationship advice, I cannot recommend this track enough. It is unmitigated dance floor thunder. It's like the Dance of the Seven Veils.

[Via Nerve. Photo via Geekologie.]