I love porn. Love it. Outside of farming, porn might be humanity’s greatest singular invention. Masturbating is cheap, calorie-free, and a great stress reliever. It doesn't even cause cancer! Do you know how rare that is in this world? And because porn is so great, I’m going to encourage you to consume even more of it. Or maybe not more, but different, refreshing porn: erotica.

If the word “erotica” makes you wince, immediately conjuring a Fifty Shades of Grey trailer or that explicit Teletubby-related fanfiction you accidentally found on your cousin’s Tumblr years ago, you’re not alone. But there’s plenty of erotica outside of Fabio-covered paperbacks and crossover sex scenes between Snape and Willy Wonka. Much of erotica is short (or at least shorter) stories that you can find online for free. Sites like Literotica and Lush Stories are chock-full of tantalizing, bite-size stories that are meant to be used similarly to Pornhub. On Reddit, check out r/gonewildstories or r/eroticliterature, and on Tumblr just browse around for about two minutes and you’ll bump into porn. As a general rule, written erotica is much easier to search and refine, and is often more thoroughly tagged.

Erotica is in so many ways better than visual porn, because it relies on your imagination rather than hand-delivering you someone else’s pre-taped fantasy. Sure, erotica requires the minor task of having to conjure up the face of the person you’re about to come in, but in doing so, it gives you control: If the character is blonde, pretend she’s a brunette, if that’s your thing. Don’t like it when people leave on their clothes during sex? Take them off! You’re in charge! No more bad hip tattoos of anchors! No more terrible lighting on worn leather couches! No more shaky camera work! You get to erase all the parts of porn you don’t like. One straight man on Reddit, when talking about why he liked reading erotica, said that he liked not seeing the male actors’ buttholes. Specific, but fair enough, I guess.

Written porn is all about the story. And it usually delves a bit deeper than driving by a group of college-age girls wearing denim skirts and inviting them into a van with tinted windows. In fact, that’s the real beauty of written porn: the slow build. Of course, like any kind of porn, you can technically skip ahead to the “good bits” if you really want to, but the build is there if you want it. Granted, reading porn doesn’t necessarily lend itself to a quick solo sesh as well as porn gifs of bouncing titties might (and god bless porn gifs), but sometimes you want to take a little more time with yourself. If watching porn is a daily shower, reading porn is taking a bath.

“If watching porn is a daily shower, reading porn is taking a bath.”

It’s not just about the form, though. The content of written porn differs vastly from porn videos. As with cartoons, there are virtually no rules in the erotica universe. Sometimes it goes wildly off the rails (like the time I read a story of two people trying to meet up to bone who were impeded when a bridge in Toronto was purposely shut down by their overweight mayor. No, I’m not kidding). But there’s something nice about letting yourself go down weird horny paths. We’re all into somewhat “weird” stuff; stuff we wouldn’t necessarily admit out loud but like to think about in the privacy of our own shower. If you thought Rule 34 existed for visual porn, erotica is laughing at your naivety. I guarantee someone right now is publishing a sexy sonnet about your two favorite celebrities getting together and eating a rotisserie chicken naked.

And if that's not enough, reading erotica also makes you better at being sexy yourself. A lot of erotica is made for women by women, so if you’re interested in what we find hot, you’ll definitely find some valuable insight. (A good way to tell if what you’re reading was written by a guy? If every single woman has natural and perky 32HH tits, a size that even retailers specializing in large bras do not sell, ding ding! Male writer.) Female-authored erotica will reveal the ways women imagine foreplay going, with explicit detail. Of course, you’ll still have to communicate with your partner about what she actually wants, but where porn tends to be made for men and by men, erotica tends to focus on what women find hot.

Is erotica perfect? No. A quick perusal of Literotica’s list of tags will show you all the odd avenues you can travel down, including crime drama, demons, divorce, and the very descriptive “fuck” category. There are also complaints that erotica is often not all that well-written, which is akin to saying a lot of porn is not well-lit. Well, if you came here for Tolstoy, you’re going to be disappointed. If you can’t handle the misuse of your/you’re every once in a while, written porn is not for you. This is free content made by horny people! Excuse the typos and logic jumps, okay? Enjoy the unmatched gift of getting to jerk it to something new.

Besides, aren’t you tired of that video of two women by the pool that you’ve watched 37 times? New is valuable. Getting out of your sex routine, even if it’s just your masturbating routine, is in and of itself a thrill.