I’m a horror writer, and I have a confession to make….

I have a hard time reading H.P. Lovecraft.

There…I said it.

I have peers that have attempted to crucify me when I’ve told them this, but I can’t help it. I find his work boring, and he’s quite possibly the worst writer of dialogue in the history of writers of dialogue. Plenty of good films are “Lovecraftian” in theme, and you’ll hear no arguments from me when someone raves about the epicness of Alien, Re-Animator, Hellboy or The Thing (my favorite John Carpenter film).

Despite what you might be thinking, this article is not solely devoted to my ranting about the works of H.P. Lovecraft, it’s actually a review for a film based on H.P. Lovecraft’s The Shadow Over Innsmouth.

Innsmouth is a 2015 short film directed by Izzy Lee (Picket, Post Partum). Suffice it to say that I enjoyed watching this as much as I enjoy reading Lovecraft. In other words, I got through it, but I probably won’t be revisiting it again any time soon.

Innsmouth begins with Arkham Detective Diana Olmstead (Diana Porter) arriving at a crime scene where a woman’s body has been discovered, baring a vicious bite mark on the neck and strange egg sacks attached to her back. Olmstead, who is basically Dana Scully’s taller sister, also finds a photograph of the victim and a beautiful, dark-haired woman. On the back of the photo is written the word “Innsmouth.”

Olmstead heads to the seaside town of Innsmouth to investigate and is promptly stalked by a Goth chick, before getting stabbed in the neck with a hypodermic needle. When she awakes, she’s in undergarments that she wasn’t wearing under her jeans and blazer. She’s also in the presence of the dark-haired woman from the photograph. The woman identifies herself as Alice Marsh (Tristan Risk), and she kisses Olmstead on the mouth and then takes her upstairs to the bathroom. Alice gets naked, Olmstead doesn’t, and they both wind up in the bathtub together.

Now, fun facts!

Arkham is a direct reference to the town that H.P. Lovecraft created for the setting of many of his stories.

Olmstead is the name of the narrator in Lovecraft’s The Shadow Over Innsmouth. While the character is never actually named in the book, Lovecraft himself confirms the character’s identity in later notes about his work. Kudos to Izzy Lee for putting in the research prior to filming.

Marsh is a direct reference to Captain Obed Marsh, the wealthy Sea Captain that founded the town of Innsmouth in Lovecraft’s story.

Alice Marsh is Captain Marsh’s daughter (which is mentioned in this film), but what’s crazy is that, according to Lovecraft’s notes, she was also the great-grandmother of the (narrator) Olmstead in the book!

I have to give Izzy Lee props for casting a nearly all-female film. Given that most of Lovecraft’s stories were male dominated, it’s a kind of “fuck you” to someone that I don’t believe was the nicest of gentlemen to begin with. Second, let’s face it–any film that shows an eyeball slithering out of a fully exposed vagina is bound to rack up some style points.

Now for the not so good. The acting was rather painful, with forced dialogue and lots of “fucks” that were really unnecessary. The soundtrack was nerve-wracking, too. Thankfully, you only have to put up with it for 11 minutes.