A List

Version 6.1 (31 March 04)

Next update in mid-April. My Year From Hell should be over by then.

The following may or may not be true, and is based on hearsay, rumor, and gossip--most of it from relatively reliable sources, some from more dubious ones, and some based on my own suppositions. I have tried to make this list as accurate as possible, but in some/many cases I wasn't able to verify rumors. I have not put anything here that I know to be untrue. If you want, send me e-mail. Please don't be offended if I don't respond to you quickly, or at all. I average around 90-100 e-mails a day.

Proceed at your own risk. Believe what you want & reject the rest. If my political opinions upset you, stop reading and read something else. If you don't like reading "scurrilous gossip," stop reading and read something else.

FOD means "Friend of Dorothy," a.k.a. a gay man.

L______ stands for lesbian.

B______ stands for bisexual.

A "beard" is a woman who dates or marries a gay or bisexual man so that the man can pretend to be heterosexual.

A "merkin" is a man who dates or marries a gay or bisexual woman so that the woman can pretend to be heterosexual.

Recent updates, additions and corrections since Version 5.4 are in blue .

With thanks to the folks on alt.gossip.celebrities, K-Y Mellie, and Jill "The Diva" Stempel, from whose page I took some of the information included below. Thanks to Richard Corliss (in Time) and Richard Johnson (in the Post) for mentioning the site in their columns. Thanks to John Lithgow for mentioning the site on Conan O'Brian's show; to reward him I made up something about him for his entry. Thanks to Maxim magazine for rewarding my efforts with a Site of the Week award. Thanks to the Star for the interview. A shout out to Sludge for the link and the kind words. Thanks to Gossiplist.com. Thanks to Anythink. Thanks to InfectedLogic. Thanks to Bitterwaitress. Thanks to 411mania. Thanks to all the radio shows that pimp the site. Thanks to Ms. Eng for the short note. Thanks to you-know-who on the Jim Rome show for the information. Thanks to that Variety writer for accurately describing this site as "a mean-spirited, rumor-mongering, tawdry list of distilled re-hashed gossip and sexual innuendo." And, finally, thanks to all the fans and industry professionals (and the occasional celebrity) who've e-mailed me; this site wouldn't be the same without you.

Aaliyah. Was acquainted with many men as well as Quincy Jones' daughter. Had a threesome with Stacy Dash. Linked with/married R. Kelly when she was only 15.

Aames, Willie. Recovering drug abuser. Currently a tedious born-again Christian.

Abdul, Paula. "Very nice girl, has a very wicked sense of humor." (And yet there are persistent rumors of bad behavior by her behind the scenes of American Idol). Reportedly a recovering bulimic. Linked with Lorraine Braco, Emilio Estevez, Arsenio Hall (surely a vibrator would be better than that?), Janet Jackson, and John Stamos.

Adams, Bryan. "A clean freak." Prefers the company of gentlemen. Linked with Princess Di and Todd Oldham.

Adams, Joey Lauren. Arrested on D.U.I. Self-admitted bisexual. Linked with Vince Vaughn.

Adams, Maud. Bisexual. Linked to Bruce Dern & OJ Simpson. Reportedly took Dern to court for claiming to have penetrated her while filming a simulated sex scene during the movie Tattoo.

Adjani, Isabelle. Formerly with Warren Beatty, Jean-Michel Jarre, and Daniel Day Lewis.

Affleck, Ben. Rude and a boor. "Boring." May possibly be more than just friends with Matt Damon and perhaps other men over the years. Has a filthy mouth. Tranny chaser. Recovering alcoholic. Has used hookers in the past; likes threeways with hookers and Matt Damon. One account has the two looking at each other (and getting off on that) while doing the pro. Has had work done on his teeth, hair, and chin. Linked with Pamela Anderson, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Garner, Salma Hayek, Lauren Holly, Famke Jannsen, Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lopez, Gwyneth Paltrow, Britney Spears (who he cheated on Jennifer Lopez with, while Spears was seeing Justin Timberlake).

Agassi, Andre. Humorless, vain airhead. Possibly closeted. Linked with Steffi Graf, Brooke Shields (his ex-wife), and Babs Streisand.

Aguilera, Christina. "Rude, crude, selfish and disrespectful." "All around mean rotten little bitch." (Though I've heard at least one story of her being nice when she didn't have to be). I've gotten several e-mails in the past several months about her treating waiters and waitresses very badly, to the point of not leaving tips and even not paying the check. But I've also been told that part of her bad actions toward others is the result of her paranoid bodyguards. Stuck-up snot. Prefers women and three-ways; possibly prefers watching women and three-ways to partaking of them. Plays "hostess" to "lavish orgies." Cocaine addict. Has breast implants. Bad tipper. Keeps her weight down thanks to the over-use of laxatives. (Which matches the feces coming out of her mouth). Hygiencially challenged; I've received two different e-mails from staff at two different hotels both saying that she never used the showers, soap, or shampoo in her room.Linked with Carson Daly (Christina, is this the best you can do?), Leonardo DiCaprio (boy, did that pairing turn the Skank Switch up to 11), Enrique Igelsias, Alicia Keys, Lil' Kim, Madonna, and Justin Timberlake.

Aiken, Clay. Subject of wildly differing rumors, ala "Very nice" and "What a creep!"

Aikman, Troy. FOD. Or perhaps not. Reports differ.

Alba, Jessica. "Snobbiest little thing I've ever seen." Linked to Mark Wahlberg.

Albert, Prince, of Monaco. FOD? Linked with Angie Everhart, Kylie Minogue, Brooke Shields, Claudia Schiffer, Sharon Stone, and Teri Weigel.

Alda, Alan. "Was very arrogant from his success with MASH but has calmed down since."

Alexakis, Art. "VERY very nice guy." (Though this is disputed, with several groupies claiming they've slept with him & he treated them badly).

Al Fayed, Dodi. Linked to Princess Diana, Darryl Hannah, Princess Stephanie of Monaco, Winona Ryder, and Brooke Shields. Died in the same car crash that snuffed Di.

Alger, Horatio. Pederast. (This is an established historical fact, not mere gossip.)

Ali, Muhammed. Cheated on his wife. "An uncaring, self-centered dad."

Allen, Joan. Former coke dealer and user before hitting Hollywood and making it big. Has been clean for a number of years now and is well-respected and generally seen as being a very nice woman.

Allen, Tim. Possessed of “self-destructive” and “womanizing ways.” Former coke dealer.

Allen, Woody. Neurotic pedophile who took up with his wife's adopted daughter and betrayed the esteem millions held him in; still literally cannot understand what the problem is. Linked with Diane Keaton & Mia Farrow; had affair with teenager during filming of Manhattan.

Alley, Kirstie. Divorced from Parker Stevenson. $cientologist. Given to boasting publicly about her partners' sexual skill. Recovering drug addict. Has a torture chamber i n her house. Turned tricks as a teenager. Linked w ith James Wilder.

Allman, Gregg. Recovering drug addict. Linked with Cher. Reportedly introduced porn star Savannah to the biz when she was only 16.

Almodovar, Pedro. Gay.

Amos, Tori. Rape victim. Record industry brat whose first attempt at a metal album was so laughably bad it was suppressed. Employed casting couch to get the chance to make the follow-up al bum. In fairness, I've received numerous e-mails from people, fans and those who worked with and for her, about how kind and nice and sweet she was to them. Recovering addict.

Anderson, Gillian. Divorced. Single mom; daughter reportedly fathered by David Duchovny. May have a drinking/drug problem. Rumored to be bisexual. Hot-tempered. Linked with David Duchovny, Melissa Etheridge, Jodie Foster, Gina Gershon, and Helen Hun t.

Anderson, Laurie. Linked to Lou Reed.

Anderson, Loni. Failed marriage to and bitter divorce with Burt Reynolds; held her adopted son hostage in the divorce. Bi_____; linked with Carol Burnett.

Anderson, Louie. Gay.

Anderson, Pamela. Ex-wife of Tommy Lee and broke up with him again after taking him back; maybe she is learning, after all. Has breast implants. Videotaped sex with her husband; tape was then stolen from them and widely sold. Continues to be surprised that no one takes her s eriously; lied, stupidly, about Tommy Lee giving her Hepatitis C when the truth, that it was Kid Rock who gave it to her, was so easily discovered. Formerly with Ben Affleck, Scott Baio, Dean Cain, John Cusack, Kid Rock, Lil Kim, Pink, Marcus Schenkenberg & Sylvester Stallone.

Anderson, Paul Thomas. "Coke head. Not very loyal to friends." Linked with Fiona Apple.

Anderson, Richard Dean. Closeted FOD or bisexual. Linked with Justine Bateman, Lara Flynn Boyle, Teri Hatcher, Marlee Matlin, Sela Ward, and Katarina Witt.

Andress, Ursula. Formerly married to John Derek, which means she's suffered enough. Linked with Mikhail Baryshnikov, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Marlon Brando, Sean Connery, James Dean, John DeLorean, Harry Hamlin, Dennis Hopper, Marcello Mastroianni, Ryan O'Neal, Elvis Presley,and Peter O'Toole.

Andrews, Julie. Reportedly closeted L____, in long-term relationship with Carol Burnett (or, according to e-mailers, they're just longtime friends-with-benefits). Married to Blake Edwards.

Aniston, Jennifer. Has become a big pothead through her relationship with Brad Pitt. Has jealousy issues; "can be a real bitch if you're not in her 'circle.'" Used her pull with NBC to force them to rehire her father when he was let go from Days Of Our Lives. Good tipper. Linked with Adam Duritz, Tate Donovan, Paul Rudd, and Brad Pitt.

Ann-Margret. Linked with Johnny Carson, Eddie Fisher, Steve McQueen, and Elvis Presley.

Anselmo, Philip (of Pantera/Down/Superjoint). Recovering heroin addict.

Apple, Fiona. Humorless, self-important brat. Holding on to reality with only a couple of finger s. Linked with Paul Thomas Anderson and David Blaine.

Arbuckle, Fatty. Slut. Unfairly convicted in the public of killing a younger actress via Coke bottle rape; poor Fatty was innocent, but the world was convinced otherwise.

Archer, Anne. $cientologist.

Arden, Eve. L______ or Bi______.

Armstrong, Lance. Bisexual. Linked with Sandra Bullock.

Armstrong, Louie. Major pothead. Had an almost religious zeal for high colonics.

Arnaz, Desi. Philandering SOB, but Lucille Ball loved him, so I shouldn't say any more. (And he did protect her in front of HUAC). Alcoholic. Married to Lucille Ball; linked with Ginger Rogers, Cesar Romero, and Lana Turner.

Arnold, Tom. Failed marriage to Roseanne Barr; bitter divorce from her. Large drug user & dealer. Has hair implants. Treats his assistants badly. Former tabloid snitch.

Arquette, David. Annoying freak. Recovering drug user. Crossdresser. Linked with Ellen Barkin, Courtney Cox, and Charlize Theron, among others.

Arquette, Patricia. Linked with Nicholas Cage, Tom Cruise, Thomas Jane, a nd Christian Slater.

Arquette, Roseanna. Very sullen and rude to fans.

Arthur, Jean. Bisexual.

Asimov, Isaac. Groped women.

Astaire, Fred. Difficult to work with. Linked with Ginger Rogers.

Atherton, William. "Nice guy, good conversationalist."

Atkinson, Rowan. "Clinically depressed."

Avalon, Frankie. "Very friendly and nice to his fans." Although I've also heard that he's very full of himself and acts unpleasantly to salespeople.

Aykroyd, Dan. Very charming in person, or so I'm told. Has a taste for loose women in bars. (But then, who among us does not?). Has a reputation in New Orleans for enjoying the company of rented women and for not tipping them very well. Linked to Donna Dixon (marriage) and Penny Marshall.

Azaria, Hank. Linked with (failed marriage to) and merkin for Helen Hunt. Linked with Matthew Perry. (No, really!)

Bacall, Lauren. Bailed on su pporting victims of McCarthy because "they were Communists." Very stingy. Married to Humphrey Bogart; linked with Kirk Douglas, James Garner, Harry Guardino, Burgess Meredith, Jason Robards (by marriage), Frank Sinatra, and Emmanuel Ungaro.

Bacon, Kevin. "Everyone loves them. (Bacon & wife) They're very sweet, friendly and genuine. They were reported to act very warm toward each other, and always left big tips."

Baez, Joan. Bisexual , although she now denies any former same-sex relationships despite having written about one in her second book. Formerly with Bob Dylan.

Baio, Scott. Closeted bisexu al. Rumors of his having forced himself on women. Former regular at the Playboy Mansion. Former unrestrained relationship with Erin Moran; also linked with Pamela Anderson, Nicole Eggert, Heather Locklear, and Denise Richards. Jodie Foster claims to have made out heavily with him, as well.

Bairstow, Scott. Charged with having sex with a 12-year-old. Linked with Jennifer Love Hewitt when she was way too young.

Baldwin, Alec. The bloviator. Arrogant SOB. Punches out photographers. Acts like spoiled infant on-set. Left Janine Turner almost literally at the altar. Drug problem. Linked with Kim Basinger (failed marriage; among other things, he hit her), Kristin Davis, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Cheri Oteri, and Tatum O'Neal.

Baldwin, Daniel. Cokehead. Slut.

Baldwin, Stephen. So enamored of himself he probably masturbates while holding up his own facial shot.

Ball, Lucille. Long-suffering wife of Desi Arnaz; smart, smart woman and a great comedienne. Alcoholic, and not a good mother to her children. Rumored to have been a member of the Communist Party. Was stingy and mean in her old age. Linked with Milton Berle, Henry Fonda, Peter Lawford, Robert Mitchum, George Raft, George Sanders, and Orson Welles.

Banderas, Antonio. Left his wife for Melanie Griffith. Not the brightest bulb in the lamp, but a very nice guy. Linked with Angelina Jolie.

Bankhead, Tallulah. Omnisexual, and enjoyed it. Hilarious raconteur & source of many great stories. Drug user. All About Eve was reportedly about her. Linked with John Barrymore, Sr., Rober t Benchley, Leonard Bernstein, Humphrey Bogart, Marl on Brando, Yul Brynner, Winston Churchill (!), Gary Cooper, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr, Greta Garbo, Billie Holliday, Libby Holman, Beatrice Lillie, Chico Marx, Hattie McDaniel, Burgess Meredith, Edward R. Murrow, and Johnny Weissmuller.

Banks, Tyra. Breast implants. Difficult to work with. Linked with Michael Johnson, Seal, John Singleton , Chris Webber, an d Tiger Woods.

Baraka, Amiri. Anti-Semite, and doesn't seem to like much anybody except those of African descent.

Barbiere, Jillian. Apparently a real playa. Very uninhibited, or so the rumors go.

Bardot, Brigitte. Animal rights activist. Racist; supports right-wing French party Le Front National. Linked with Warren Beatty, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Marlon Brando, Sean Connery, Alain Delon, Serge Gainsbourg, Jimi Hendrix, Mick Jagger, Louis Malle, Marilyn Monroe (be still, my heart!) an d Roger Vadim.

Barker, Clive. Out and open abo ut it. "He and his partner are great people." "Always incredibly nice to anyone who recognized him. Totally wonderful."

Barkin, Ellen. "Good with her fans." Formerly married to Gabriel Byrne. Linked with David Arquette (...the hell?), Matt Dillon, Val Kilmer, and Ron Perelman.

Barrymore, Drew. "Soooo fun and sweet and adorable." Enjoys playing both sides of the field; openly admits to being B______. Flashed Dave Letterman on camera. Had messy breakup with her domineering mother. Didn't make it through high school. Hygienically challenged. Recovering drug & alcohol addict and perhaps not so recovering at that. Linked with Jeremy Davies, Heather Graham, Tom Green, Val Kilm er, Courtney Love (who she shared men with, according to Drew), Jack Nicholson (when she was 13 or 14), Chris O'Donnell, Sam, Rockwell, Molly Shannon, and Luke Wilson.

Bartel, Paul. Out and doesn't care who knows it.

Baryshnikov, Mikhail. Uses his position to sexually exploit the dancers under him (so to speak). Linked with Leslie Brown, Jessica Lange, Liza Minnelli, Isabella Rossellini, and Janine Turner.

Basinger, Kim. "Has more neuroses than an inbred poodle." Acts like a spoiled infant on- and off-set. Jerk. Recovering cocaine and alcohol addict. Linked with Alec Baldwin (failed marriage), Jeff Bridges, Sean Connery , Eminem, Richard Gere, Michael Keaton, Prince, Robert Redford, Burt Reynolds, and Mickey Rourke.

Bass, Lance. Self-described "power bottom."

Bassett, Angela. Has had at least one affair with a woman (oh, be still my heart and loins!). Isn't as nice as she seems. Linked by marriage with Courtney B. Vance (good taste in men, Angela).

Bateman, Justine. Linked with Richard Dean Anderson and Leif Garrett.

Bates, Kathy. L______.

Battle, Kathleen. Capable of great kindness and great cruelty and selfishness.

Bearse, Amanda. L______.

Beatty, Warren. Slut supreme; the only woman he hasn't slept with is me (and, okay, Shirley Maclaine). Currently married to Annette Benning (though rumors are that he's not faithful to her, either). Also reportedly humorless, homophobi c, blatant sexual harasser, and unpleasant--and, BION, not good in bed, according to H-wood prostitutes and Madonna (although Joan Collins says otherwise about this). Difficult to work with. Linked with (deepbreath) Isabelle Adjani, Brigitte Bardot, Candice Bergen, Halle Berry, Sonia Braga, Judy Carne, Cher, Julie Christie, Joan Collins, Janice Dickinson, Britt Ekland, Jane Fonda, Melanie Griffith, Goldie Hawn, Bianca Jagger, Diane Keaton, Madonna, Vivian Leigh, Jackie Onassis, Michelle Phillips, Diana Ross, Diane Sawyer, Stephanie Seymour, Carly Simon, Barbara Streisand, Liv Ullman, Mamie Van Doren, Tennessee Williams, and Natalie Wood (along with a cast of thousands).

Beck. $cientologist (this is disputed).Very well hung. Linked with Gina Gershon and Winona Ryder.

Beckham, David. Philanderer and possible FOD. Married to Posh Spice.

Beckinsale, Kate. Has a penchant for setside squabbling. "Cold fish. Tremendous amount of plastic surgery. Hates other women."

Belafonte, Harry. FOD. Rumored to have married Farley Granger on Fire Island during the 1950s.

Bell, Catherine. Playa. $cientologist.

Belmondo, Jean-Paul. Linked with Ursula Andress & Brigitte Bardot.

Bening, Annette. Married to Warren Beatty ; she got pregnant by him and then refused to get an abortion.

Bergen, Candice. Closeted L______ Widow of the late Louis Malle; she provided beard services for him. Linked with Warren Beatty, Jerry Brown, Robert F. Kennedy, Henry Kissinger (oh, Candice, how could you?), Jack Nicholson, Burt Reynolds, and Terence Stamp.

Bergin, Michael. FOD. Bathhouse habitue'.

Bergman, Ingrid. Linked with Yul Brynner, Gary Cooper, Bing Crosby, Burgess Meredith, Gregory Peck, Anthony Quinn, Omar Sharif, Spencer Tracy. Shocked Hollywood and America by going to Europe and having a child out of wedlock. Mother of Isabella Rosselini. One of the 10 Most Beautiful Women Ever.

Berkley, Elizabeth. Formerly with Paul Verhoeven.

Berle, Milton. Sour , unpleasant man. (And in the interests of fairness: "He was wonderful. He suffered from a constant need for attention, but he was funny, charming, and he was like a manic attention-starved child. I liked him very much.") Notorious for stealing other comedians' jokes/gags. Legendary implement. Bad father . Swapped women (and possibly drag queens) with Bing Crosby. Once "dated" Marilyn Monroe; also linked with Lucille Ball, Theda Bara, Veronica Lake, Aimee Semple Macpherson, and Nancy Reagan.

Bernard, Crystal. "Hypocritical Christian who engages in lesbian affairs and then quickly retreats to religion and her boyfriend and pretends to be Miss Moral." Linked with Morgan Fairchild.

Bernhard, Sandra. L____/bisexual. Had affair with Madonna; also possi bly linked with Timothy Hutton, Jay Leno (oh, Sandra, how could you?), Debi Mazur and/or Jennifer Grey.

Bernsen, Corbin. Philander er. Vain. Linked with Amanda Pays and Vanna White.

Bernstein, Leonard. Bisexual; had a preference for teenaged African-Americans. Linked with Tallulah Bankhead, Rudolf Nureyev, and Lana Turner.

Berry, Chuck. Voyeur and likes playing with poo as well as watching women urinate and defecate.

Berry, Halle. Formerly married to wife-beater David Justice, and formerly abused by one of her men. "Temperamental" (read: difficult to work with). Formerly a very pricey kept woman. Tried to commit suicide after learning that her husband had cheated on her. Is now so paranoid about her lackwit husband cheating on her (cheating on Halle Berry? What are you, high?) (But then, as has been noted, behind every beautiful woman is a man [or woman] who's bored with her) that she's removed all women from his life, down to dismissing his female assistants and dining out only at gay bars. Linked to Prince Albert of Monaco, Warren Beatty, Kevin Costner, Spike Lee, Eddie Murphy, and Wesley Snipes .

Bertinelli, Valerie. Difficult to work with. Linked with Eddie Van Halen (as well as most men within her general vicinity).

Bextor, Sophie Ellis. A regular at a certain French sex club.

Beyonce. "An excellent tipper." Linked with Kobe Bryant, Eminem, 50 Cent, Mekhi Phifer, Shemar Mor, Mos Def, Nelly, and Jay-Z.

B-52s. "Went out of their way to be friendly to fans."

Bisset, Jacqueline. Has some brains behind her beauty. Linked with Alexander Godunov, Dean Martin, Marcello Mastroianni, Steve McQueen, Ryan O'Neal, Frank Sinatra, and Terence Stamp.

Black, Clint. "Prefers uncut men. He likes playing with the skin and loves to give, not receive." Linked with Lisa Hartman.

Black, Jack. "Incredibly nice."

Black, Karen. $cientologist.

The Black Crowes. "All very very stupid, didn't seem to understand anything unless their manager told them."

Blackwell, Mr. Bitch Supreme (I mean that in a good way). FOD. Linked with Cary Grant, Tyrone Power, and Randolph Scott.

Blair, Selma. Bad temper.

Blanchett, Cate. "A complete sweetheart and a high tipper."

Bleeth, Yasmine. Hygienically challenged. Recovering drug addict ; introduced to blow by Don Johnson, Yasmine has ruined her face and nose through its overuse. Linked with Richard Grieco, Don Johnson, and Matthew Perry.

Bloom, Orlando. A yummy monkey, indeed. ("Dirty flirt.") "Kinda immature, a bit of a brat but still nice." Linked with Kate Bosworth, Helena Christensen, and Susanna Eng; I've gotten a lot of e-mail that Bloom is mostly bisexual, if not gay, and that his "affairs" with Bosworth and Eng are just PR.

Bloomberg, Mayor. Into being dominated. Admits to pot use. Bi______.

Bogarde, Dirk. FOD. Linked with Judy Garland.

Bogart, Humphrey. Cheated on his wife; beat his second wife. Anti-semite and drunkard. Ran errands for Howard Hughes after Hughes got proof of Bogart's philandering. Procured young men for a gay friend of his. Terrible alcoholic; had to get hormone shots to impregnate his wife. Affairs with Lauren Bacall, Tallulah Bankhead, Louise Brooks, Bette Davis, Barbara Stanwyck, and quite possibly Truman Capote.

Bolton, Michael. Vain . Deserves a sound thrashing. (Although I'm told that he's "meek and humble" to hotel staff). Covered the Isley Brothers but would only give them credit after they sued him. Ruined a Percy Sledge song and didn't even thank Percy when he (Bolton) won a Grammy for the son. Linked with Ashley Judd & Nicollette Sh eridan.

Bonaduce, Danny. Drug user. Beat up a transvestite hooker. General impression he projects is of a jerk--at least, that's my take on him.

Bonet, Lisa. Difficult to work with. Linked with Lenny Kravitz (formerly married to him).

Bono. Egomaniac.

Bow, Clara. Enjoyed men--many and often. Infamous in Hollywood for her enthusiasm and endurance. Linked with Eddie Cantor, Gary Cooper, John Gilbert, and Bela Lugosi.

Bowie, David. "Goes out of his way to be nice to his fans." H uge drug abuser. Married to Iman. Openly bisexual & supposedly linked at one time with Mick Jagger; also linked with Bianca Jagger and Marianne Faithfull.

Boyer, Charles. Committed suicide following the death of his wife. Linked with Katharine Hepburn and Hedley Lamarr.

Boyle, Lara Flynn. Good old girl. Possible coke habit, which might explain why she's so unhealthily gaunt. Lin ked with Richard Dean Anderson, Adam Duritz, Ha rrison Ford, Kyle Maclachlan, Jack Nicholson (EW!), David Spade, and Bruce Willis.

Boyle, Peter. "Sweet and gracious to all, especially considering how Doris Roberts rubs her Emmys in everyone's face."

Bracco, Lorraine. Bi______. Linked with Harvey Keitel & Edward James Olmos via failed marriages and Paula Abdul.

Branagh, Kenneth. "Early in his career was ambitio-sexual--would sleep with anyone to advance his career." Cute but conceited. Possibly yet another Great Gay British Actor. Couldn't handle his then-wife's success and pouted, causing Emma Thompson to divorce him. Linked with Helena Bonham Carter and Alicia Silverstone.

Brando, Marlon. Alien/freak. Admitted bisexual. Not a good father to his childre n; reportedly molested his daughter who committed suicide. Glu tton. A slut, in his time. Difficult to work with. Linked with Ursula Andress, Tallulah Bankhead, Brigitte Bardot, Joan Collins, Wally Cox, Faye Dunaway, Marilyn Monroe, Rita Moreno, Jackie O, and Shelley Winters.

Brandy. Diva-in-training. "Controlled by her ignorant, crazy stagemother Sonia. Problem with diet pills. O.D. on at least one occasion. Difficult to work with is an understatement. Hygenically challenged--girl, wash your cooch! Multiple hidden tattoos. Secret Husband couldn't take any more of this little bitch and left her ass after a year. You also have to "hire" her brother Ray J and father to work on a project with her...everyone hates her." Linked with Tyrese.

Braugher, Andre. *Dreamy*. "Very smart, very sophisticated, just naturally commands respect and attention just by being there; very nice, friendly, appreciative of everyone and, unlike many Hollywood types, when he signs an autograph for you, he will look you right in the eyes and have a full on conversation with you until you have had enough and leave him. Doesn't talk about himself a lot either unless you ask, then he won't focus on himself very long and then shifts the topic to something else. In a group setting, he doesn't say much and when he does, its not about himself usually."

Brenner, David. Flight attendants maintain that he is the "meanest celebrity of them all."

Brett, George. Bi______.

Brewster, Jordana. Very easy to work with (though this may have changed recently), very friendly. Linked with Derek Jeter and Mark Wahlberg.

Bridges, Jeff. Former heavy drug use r (and possibly not-so-recovering alcoholic). Linked to Kim Basinger, Valerie Perrine and Cybill Shepherd.

Bridges, Todd. Long string of drug busts.

Broderick, Matthew. Reportedly a nice guy. Killed a mother and daughter in a traffic accident in Ireland, and is reportedly still contrite over it. Is destined for Hell because of Ferris Bueller. Married to Sarah Jessica P arker (though I've received reports from waitresses about his flirting with them and about his bringing women who aren't his wife into restaurants) (I've also received reports from waiters of his flirting with them, so you be the judge). Linked with Jennifer Grey, Helen Hunt, Nathan Lane and Penelope Ann Miller.

Brody, Adrian. Has not been acting very nicely around fans recently.

Brolin, Josh. Linked with Minnie Driver and Diane Lane.

Brooks, Garth. "Ridiculously nice tipper."

Brooks, Louise. Former call girl. Razor-sharp as well as beautiful. Heh--this is funny. Supposedly was a dominatrix for Kodak executives in Rochester, NY in the 1960s. (That's giving me some nice, juicy images). Linked with Humphrey Bogart, Charlie Chaplin, Greta Garbo, and William S. Paley.

Brooks, Mel. Possibly B_______. Linked with Anne Bancroft.

Brosnan, Pierce. Homophobe. Stoner. Bad tipper.

Brown, Bobby. All-around asshole. Married to and merkin for Whitney Houston. Linked with Madonna. Wife-beater and generally abusive towards women. Slut, alcoholic and drug addict. Most likely riddled with every sexually-transmitted disease so far discovered. Unpleasant personality. Some of the worst humanity has to offer.

Brown, Foxxy. "Blew her way to a contract."

Brown, James. "Drug of choice is PCP."

Brown, Jerry. Fruitloop. Linked with Candice Bergen, Stevie Nicks, Linda Ronstadt, Liv Ullman, and Natalie Wood.

Brown, Jim. Physical abuser of women; has a problem with anger and violence.

Brown, Downtown Julie. Multiple plastic surgeries. Was a prostitute when she first came to NYC.

Brown, Julie. Bi______. Linked with Penn (of Penn and Teller).

Browne, Jackson. Talentless, conceited hack ("an overrated whiner") and abuser of women. Beat Darryl Hannah while he was involved with her.

Bryant, Kobe. Only married his girlfri end when her parents threatened to have him arrested for statutory rape. Will only have sex with white/Latin women. Fired an assistant when she wouldn't sleep with him. Charged with rape, and admitted to cheating on his wife. Linked with Beyonce (who he described as boring in bed--classy, Kobe, very classy).

Brynner, Yul. Conceited. Linked with Tallulah Bankhead, Ingrid Bergman, Joan Crawford, Marlene Dietrich, Judy Garland, Gina Lollabrigida, Marilyn Monroe, Nancy Davis Reagan, and Tracy Scoggins.

Buckley, William F. Being the erudite linguist he is, he intimately knows many synonyms for "closet."

Bujold, Genevieve. Difficult to work with. Linked with Elliot Gould.

Bullock, Jim J. Recovering crystal meth user. F OD; HIV+.

Bullock, Sandra. Reportedly a very nice pers on, although she was very rude to a group of NYC firefighters (and now I'm hearing stories about her being rude to other people as well) (although, perhaps predictably, I'm also hearing stories that she was nice to fans). Hot tempered. Does not use deodorant. Linked with Ben Affleck, Lance Armstrong, Ryan Gosling, Hugh Grant (who she supposedly stalked while they filmed that "comedy" together) (honestly, is Hugh Grant worth the effort? Couldn't you find men like him anywhere?), Matthew McConaughey, Chris O'Donnell, Jason Patric, and with Dweezil Zappa.

Buono, Victor. FOD.

Burghoff, Gary. Has a mangled hand. Very personable in, er, person.

Burke, Billie. (aka Glinda, the Good Witch) L______.

Burke, Delta. Difficult to work with , although there's at least one of her coworkers who says otherwise.

Burnett, Carol. Reportedly a Closet L______. So adorable most men would marry her anyway. Reported long-term relationship (possibly just friends-with-benefits) with Julie Andrews. Also linked with Loni Anderson.

Burns, Ed. Linked with Heather Graham, Lauren Holly, Winona Ryder, and Christy Turlington.

Burr, Raymond. Closet case. Liked Fijian boys. (That's a rather specialized taste, isn't it?) Linked with Richard Chamberlain & Tuesda y Weld.

Burrows, Saffron. Self-admitted bisexual.

Burstyn, Ellen. "Extremely gracious and kind to fans."

Burton, Richard. Drunkard. Closet case. Abused wom en, and had an "affair" with a 14-year-old girl. Funn eled money to IRA. Two marriages to Elizabeth Taylor. Tried but failed to seduce Eddie Fisher. Also linked with Zsa Zsa Gabor, Ava Gardner, Jean Simmons, Susan Strasburgh, Barbra Streisand, Lana Turner and Raquel Welch.

Busey, Gary. Drug user. Wife-beater. Has found Jesus and now supposedly lives a boring, party-free life, although rumors are that this is a sham. Linked with Babs Streisand.

Bush, Barbara. Married to George Bush. Reportedly nice in her dotage but vicious to social outsiders as a college girl.

Bush, George. "Glad-handing sack of shit." Prissy and sanctimonious hypocrite. Had long-time affair while married to Barbara Bush; hired his mistress as State Dept spokeswoman. Also reported to have enjoyed the favors of "party girls."

Bush, George W. Recovering drunkard (and probably a dry drunk) and cokehead. Not the brightest bulb in the lamp, and in fact couldn’t spell cat if you gave him the “c” and the “a.” The best argument against participatory democracy I know. Hypocritical moralist; Bill Clinton without the brains. Funded a girlfriend's abortion. At odds with his wife over how to treat his daughters' alcoholism. Believes (according to his own words) that only "believers in Jesus" will go to Heaven. Given his performance since being elected, it's now clear that the man is either a pathological liar or holds the American public in such contempt that he doesn't even bother to make his lies credible.

Bush, Kate. "The most stoned woman in Britain." Alcoholic. Holds a number of, shall we say, "off-beat" religious & philosophical ideas. But, "is more down to earth in person than one would think. Very charming and personable. Likes to bake cakes. Linked with Peter Gabriel & David Gilmour.

Bush, Laura. Was involved in an auto fatality when she was 17.

Butler, Brett. Escaped from a horrible marriage to a wife-beater. Recovering alcoholic. Got breast implants, and has a penchant for exposing her new teats to anyone--particularly cute young ( young ) men. Unpleasant to her cast and crew.

Butler, Dan. Open about his preferences.

Byrne, Gabriel. "Very nice to his fans." Formerly with Ellen Barkin, Naomi Campbell, Madonna, and Julia Ormond.

Caan, James. Abuser of women. Alcoholic & cocaine user. Patron of Heidi Fleiss.

Cage, Nicholas. Long-time heroin user. D idn't mak e it through high school. Attacks paparazzi. Has at least dabbled in (and with, and on) men. "Was such an asshole on the set of Wind Talkers, that the crew referred to him as "Nick The Dick" behind his back." Reported to have a large snuff film collection, which is what broke up his marriage to Patricia Arquette. Doesn't tip (shame on you!). Formerly with Patricia Arquette (ex-wife), Laura Dern, Angelina Jolie, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lisa Marie Presley, and Uma Thurman.

Cagney, James. Possibly had a few same-sex affairs. Linked with Merle Oberon.

Cain, Dean. Vain pretty boy. (Very pretty.) Reportedly easy to work with. Might be playing for the home team. Deflowered Brooke Shields. Formerly with Pamela Anderson, Teri Hatcher, N astassja Kinski, Mindy McCreedy, Gabrielle Reece (who he treated badly- -or possibly it was the other way around), and Samantha Torres.

Caine, Michael. Recovering alcoholic. Linked with Faye Dunaway & Bianca Jagger.

Cameron, James. Conceited putz. "Into being dominated in bed" (now there's a visual none of us needed). Cheated on Linda Ha milton with Suzy Amis. Linked with Kathryn Bigelow and Gail Ann Hurd.

Campbell, Naomi. Unpleasant woman. Drug addict; has been hospitalized for overdoses at least once. Poster child for Assholes Of America (Models Division). Dim bulb. Is physically violent toward her staff. Linked to Eric Clapton, Adam Clayton, Robert De Niro, Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Fiennes, Quincy Jones, Val Kilmer, Lenny Kravitz, Tommy Lee, Eddie Murphy, Sean Penn, Sly Stallone, and Mike Tyson.

Campbell, Neve. Has acquired a reputation for using her co-stars as stepping stones t o better roles, and giving her body in exchange (in fairness, I've heard that this isn't so) . Rumored to be Bi______. Linked with John Cusack, Matthew Lillard, and Matthew Perry (although I should add that this latter rumor I've since been told isn't true).

Cannon, Dyan. Has had a lot of plastic surgery. Formerly a massive pothead, now a born-again Pentecostalist. Linked with Armand Assante, Cary Grant and Omar Sharif. "Now claims to have chosen celibacy for spiritual purposes."

Capote, Truman. Gay (duh). Drunk. Rumored to have ghost-written To Kill A Mockingbird for Harper Lee. Linked with Humphrey Bogart (possibly), Errol Flynn, John Huston, and Tyrone Power.

Carey, Drew. Victim of sexual abuse when a child. Picks the wrong women to fall for, poor guy . Enjoys being humiliated in bed. "Super nice guy."

Carey, Mariah. A certain problem with faithfulness and hygiene. Her early career was funded by her sister's prostitutio n. Very difficult to work with, and very unpleasant to fans. (Although, as is par for the course here, I've received some e-mails contradicting this). "Has a staff member remove her tampons during concerts". Has breast implants. Linked to P. Diddy, Vin Diesel, Matt Dillon, Eminem, Grant Hill, Derek Jeter, and record company exec Tommy Mottola, who she used to get a record contract.

Carne, Judy. Bisexual. Recovering drug addict (according to a recent e-mail, "Judy's not recovering so well"). Linked with Warren Beatty, Steve McQueen, Burt Reynolds, Vidal Sassoon.

Carpenter, Mary Chapin. "Arrogant self-centered bitch."

Carrey, Jim. Unpleasant man, simultaneously rampantly insecure and hideously conceited. Extreme hypochondriac. Didn't make it th rough high school--and while in high school, according to one of my correspondents, "JC was incredibly mean to every student he could pick on (expecially when he was with a group of friends). Really mean, he'd pick on defenseless "losers" who had no hope of even excaping his cruelty. He would do this every chance he got." Has been known to act extremely childishly on-set, although there are some reports that one-on-one he's not bad. Has sexually harassed numerous actresses. Used LSD when he was a kid. Uses pot at regular intervals while writing; claims that he can't stay funny without regular ganja use. Likes being spanked. Has, however, been known to give food away to the homeless, and I'm willing to forgive him much for Eternal Sunshine. Linked with Lauren Holly, Ashley Judd, Nicole Kidman, Courtney Love, Linda Ronstadt, and Renee Zellweger.

Carroll, Diahann . "Ranting raving alcoholic."

Carson, Johnny. Jury is still out on whether he is a manipulative, cold, creepy jerk, or simply a clueless and stupid innocent who was overly-well-protected by his handlers. Wife-beater. Hires working girls to sit on his lap and call him "Daddie ." Denies the existence of his biracial granddaughter. Alcoholic. L inked with Ann-Margaret, Angie Dickinson, Morgan Fairchild, Sally Field, and Mamie Van Doren.

Carson, Lisa Nicole. Suffers from bipolar disorder; drug use r. "Self-admitted nympho."

Carter, Helena Bonham. "Dresses like an old homeless woman and has the worst breath you've ever smelled." "Whines when male co-stars don't make passes at her." Home-wrecker (with the husbands' help, of course). Broke up Kenneth Branagh's marriage to Emma Thompson, broke up Tim Burton's marriage, and was also linked with Steve Martin.

Carter, Nick. Has a very bad drinking problem.

Carter, Lynda. Alcoholic. Bisexual during the 70s. "Left Hollywood to become a Washington power wife, but it all backfired on her when her husband was caught in a terrible political scandal involving influence-peddling. Hubby lucked out and was not convicted, and now Lynda can once again hold her head high as she arrogantly berates service people and hired help throughout the DC metropolitan area."

Cartwright, Nancy. $cientologist.

Caruso, David. Egotistical. Difficult to work with.

Cates, Phoebe. "Perhaps the sweetest woman I have ever waited on." Linked with Kevin Kline.

Cather, Willa. L______.

Cattrall, Kim. Linked with Isaac Mizrahi & Bruce Willis.

Cavanagh, Tom. "Very gracious with fans."

Chamberlain, Richard. Now publicly admitting that he's gay. Linked with Raymond Burr.

Chan, Jackie. Very private about his personal life, but has finally has provided some good gossip. Reportedly a very nice, down-to-earth man, although his marriage fell apart because he was never home and he did cheat on his wife. Reportedly linked with Maggie Cheung, Anita Mui, and Elaine Ng, who he fathered a child on.

Chancellor, John. Boozebag. Possibly dabbled in Uranian relationships when younger.

Chandler, Jeff. Crossdresser.

Chaplin, Charlie. Had a taste for young women; was the inspiration for Humbert Humbert in Lolita. "Notoriously oversized." Linked with Louise Brooks, Marion Davies, Paulette Goddard, Hedy Lamarr, Pola Negri, and Lupe Velez.

Chapman, Graham. Gay. Alcohol & drug abuse.

Chapman, Tracy. L______.

Charles, Josh. Linked with Jennifer Connelly (who he did not treat well at all, and who was the cause of JC looking so glum at the Oscars that year) and Sheryl Crowe.

Charles, Ray. "If you wanted to be a Raylette, you had to let Ray." Huge pothead.

Chase, Chevy. Vain, humorless, unpleasant man. Recovering drunk.

Cheadle, Don. He's fine .

Cheever, John. FOD.

Cher. Unpleasant personality. More plastic surgery (including breast implants) than anyone (except Michael Jackson) thought the human body could withstand. Difficult to work with. "Extraordinarily uneducated and poorly informed of worldwide affairs." Pench ant for younger men; linked with Gregg Allman, Warren Beatty, Sonny Bono, Tom Cruise, David Geffen, John Heard, Val Kilmer, Diana Ross, Richie Sambora, Gene Simmons, and Eric Sto ltz.

Cherry, Neneh. L_____/bisexual.

Chevalier, Maurice. Closet case. Linked with Merle Oberon.

Chiklis, Michael. "Contrary to what you may have heard, is extremely friendly and personable; still genuinely surprised by his recent success; swears a lot; very magnetic in person too."

Chow Yun Fat. The Coolest Man Alive.

Christensen, Hayden. FOD.

Christensen, Helena. Linked with Jon Bon Jovi, Adam Clayton, Billy Corgan, Liam Gallagher, Michael Hutchence, Norm MacDonald, Dave Stewart, and Michael Stipe.

Christian, Claudia. L______/bisexual.

Christie, Julie. L____/bisexual. Linked with Warren Beatty, Brian Eno, Omar Sharif, Donald Sutherland, and Terence Stamp.

Christopher, William. "EXACTLY like his Father Mulcahy character on MASH. Exactly."

Church, Charlotte. Diva-in-training.

Churchill, Winston. Admitted to one same-sex affair. Linked with Tallulah Bankhead.

Chyna. Closeted lesbian.

Clapton, Eric. Hasn't had a happy life; recovering drug addict. Linked with Naomi Campbell, Sheryl Crow, Mick Jagger, Janis Joplin, and Michelle Pfeiffer.

Clark, Anthony. Racist, gay, bi-polar pothead (quite a combination, that).

Clark, Arthur C. Pedophile (hey, I don't believe it, either, but that's the rumor).

Clark, Dick. "Complete asshole. Full of self importance." "Nazi-like, micromanaging, whip-cracking production style made him detested by much of the glitterati who attend his awards shows."

Cleese, John. Is hard to work with, but he admits it. People who've waited on him, on the other hand, have found him to be "extremely nice and forgiving." Didn't get along with his mother, who didn't want any children and regretted Cleese's birth.

Clemens, Roger. Liar, bully, and soulless mercenary. Is clueless about how his neighbors in Katy, Texas really feel about him.

Clift, Montgomery. Called "Pink Princess Tiny Meat" due to his underendowment. Closet queen. Drunkard. Linked with James Dean and Elizabeth Taylor.

Clinton, Bill. Corrupt gladhanding weasel. (Likable in person.) Horn-dog; reportedly nailed Sharon Stone on election evening. Rumored to have slept with Markie Post and Babs Streisand (while Hillary was visiting her ailing father, no less!). Merkin for Hillary Clinton. Underendo wed. Rapist. Reportedly very good at oral sex. Also linked with Elizabeth Gracen, Elizabeth Hurley, Chaka Khan (!), Heidi Klum, and Demi Moore.

Clinton, Hillary. Corrupt, manipulative power behind Bill Clinton. L______/bisexual; reported to have slept with one/both of the Fosters and George Stephanopoulous.

Clooney, George. Reportedly a nice guy. Slut. Possibly swingin g for both fences. Like lumberjacks, likes to try on women's clothes. May have a serious gambling problem. Linked with Lucy Liu, Ginger Lynn, Kelly Preston, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Charlize The ron, and Renee Zellweger.

Close, Glenn. Reportedly "wanted some faded It boy of the 1960s as part of her contract for Sunset Boulevard." Lin ked with Woody Harrelson, William Hurt, Jeremy Irons, Kevin Kline, and Cam Neely.

Cohen, William S. Anti-Semite.

Colbert, Claudette. Bisexual. Linked with Gary Cooper, Marlene Dietrich, and Edith Head.

Cole, Natalie. Recovering heroin and cocaine addict; former Harlem streetwalker. Plays both sides of the fence.

Cole, Paula. Diva.

Coleman, Gary. Admitted virgin at age 30. Selling dates with himself over the Internet. Freak.

Collette, Toni. Is criminally underused by Hollywood. Recovering bulemic. Linked with Jonathan Rhys-Myers and Michael Stipe.

Collins, Joan. Doxy who is not aging wel l. Alcoholic. Reporte dly was a hooker when she first arrived in Hollywood. Linked with, oh, just about everyone, including Warren Beatty, Harry Belafonte, Marlon Brando, Sydney (son of Charlie) Chaplin, Robert Evans, Dennis Hopper, Anthony Newley, Ryan O'Neal, Terence Stamp, and Robert Wagner.

Condit, Gary. Sleazy leather fetishist and all-around scumbag.

Connelly, Jennifer. Seems to get involved with her costars. Linked with Paul Bettany, Billy Campbell, Josh Charles, Russell Crowe.

Connery, Sean. Arrogant and self-satisfied sexist. Abuser of women. Wear s a toupee. Notorious tightwad. Requires a penis pump to function with women. Hostile to fans. Posed nude before being Bond; the man who took the photos, George Lynnes, often had affairs with his subjects. Linked with Ursula Andress, Brigitte Bardot, Kim Basinger, Zsa Zsa Gabor, G ena Rowlands, Lana Turner, Shelley Winters, Lana Wood, and Catherine Zeta-Jones, who impressed him with her oral skills.

Connick Jr, Harry. Punk, albeit a talented one . ("Extremely giving and appreciative of his fans," according to one e-mailer). Hung, and ought to be. (Yes, I know things are "hung" and people are "hanged"). Workers and security guards at his concerts are (or at least were) instructed not to look at him at any time before, during, or after one of his concerts. Married to Jill Goodacre. Linked with Debra Messing.

Conrad, Robert. "A complete bottom, but his catholicism makes him completely whacky about it, and often he used to beat up the guys he had sex with. he enjoyed being spanked on that famous butt of his."

Cooper, Gary. Contrary to what I had previously written, Cooper was not an "unthinking conservative," and his work with HUAC was to let the committee know that Hollywood was not a nest of Communists. Cooper later offered to testify on behalf of Carl Foreman and was the only star to try to help Foreman after he was blacklisted. Linked with Mari Aldon, Jean Arthur, Tallulah Bankhead, Ingrid Bergman, Clara Bow, Lorraine Chanel, Claudette Colbert, Marlene Dietrich, Anita Ekberg, Paulette Goddard, Libby Holman, Grace Kelly, Carole Lombard, Sophia Loren, Patricia Neal, Merle Oberon, Barbra Stanwyck, Lupe Velez, Mae West, "and about a zillion Paramount secretaries from the mid Twenties until he left the studio in 1938."

Copperfield, David. Vain and preening jerk. Hair-fetishist. Linked with Claudia Schiffer, although reportedly she only goes out with him because he pays her a lot of money. Also rumored to have a huge collection of gay porn, and possibly be a FOD. Vile personal habits.

Coppola, Sofia. Married to Spike Jonze.

Corbett, John. "Likes pot, coke, booze and women (not necessarily in that order)." "Paranoid about losing his hair." Linked with Bo Derek.

Corgan, Billy. "Unpleasant, egomaniacal jerk; numerous enemies in the Chicago club scene, since he's always been the above." Beat his girlfriend in high school. Linked with Courtney Love (while Kurt Cobain was still alive).

Cornwell, Patricia. L______. Stalked/stalks Jodie Foster; seems to be quite unstable. While researching a book, got involved with an FBI agent; said agent's husband then tried to kill Cornwell. Has stolen at least one story idea & plot. Linked with Diane Sawyer.

Cosby, Bill. Rumored to touch children's private parts off the set of his shows. Several stories about him being rude to his fans. Rumors abound about his disliking white women. Unfaithful to his wife.

Costas, Bob. "Extremely rude and belligerent" to the security guards at the Olympic Games in Salt Lake City. Or so say some of the security guards themselves. Naturally, I've received e-mails from fans who've had more positive experiences with him.

Costner, Kevin. Humorless slut who overestimates the level of his own talent. Prone to interfering with production, direction, etc of his films. Cuckolded John Travolta and Cal Ripken, Jr; Ripken punched Costner out for that. Uses hookers. Linked with Halle Berry, Kathy Lee Gifford, Elle Macpherson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kelly Preston, and Mira Sorvino.

Couric, Katie. Reported to be not so perky and sweet in real life; in fact, rumor has it that she's a big phony and prima donna who treated her husband horribly while he was alive.

Coulter, Ann. Alcoholic and habitual liar; if she says 2+2=4, doublecheck her figures. "Smokes, drinks, whores around."

Cowher, Bill. Cheated on his wife with his secretary.

Cox, Courtney. Junkie. "Is the bitchiest of the three Friends girls." Linked with David Ar quette, Adam Duritz, Michael Keaton, Conan O'Brien, Sean Penn, Richie Sambora (who she blames for starting her coke addiction), and Christian Slater.

Crane, Bob. Into S&M. Liked to pick up prostitutes and videotape his sex with them. Liked to hook up with actresses he was working with as well as bored housewives in places he was doing dinner theater. Bludgeoned to death by a shady businessman in a hotel room post-videotaping.

Crane, Hart. FOD.

Crawford, Cindy. Former wife/beard to Richard Gere. Closet L____. Hard to work with. Linked with/used as merkins Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, and Shaquille O'Neal.

Crawford, Joan. "Slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie." "She was a mean, tipsy, powerful, rotten-egg lady." "'There is not enough money in Hollywood to lure me into making another picture with Joan Crawford. And I like money." Vain and unpleasant personality. Horrible to her children. Broke into Hollywood by starring in porn films. Abused by her parents. Alcoholic. Clean freak. Reportedly killed her husband. Linked with Dorothy Azner, Jean-Pierre Aumont, Yul Brynner, Jackie Cooper, Kirk Douglas, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr, Henry Fonda, Glenn Ford, Clark Gable, John Garfield, Jackie Gleason, Cary Grant, Edith Head, Rock Hudson, JFK, Robert Mitchum, Tyrone Power, Martha Raye, Barbara Stanwyck, Franchot Tone, Spencer Tracy, John Wayne, and Johnny Weissmuller.

Cronkite, Walter. "Not only the most trusted man in journalism, but the cheapest." (Sigh. Throw another hero on the fire....)

Crosby, Bing. Unpleasant, cold personality. Treated family horribly and was physically abusive towards his children. Alcoholic. Swapped women (and possibly drag queens) with M ilton Berle. Attended at least one orgy. Lin ked with Joan Bennett, Ingrid Bergman, Joan Blondell, Frances Farmer, Grace Kelly, and Mary Martin.

Crosby, Cathy Lee. $cientologist.

Crow, Sheryl. Drug addict. Difficult to work with. Broke up Ellen-and-Anne by nailing Anne, having Anne fall in love with her, and then tossing Anne aside. Also link ed with Josh Charles, Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan (ewww!), Jakob Dylan, Kid R ock, and Owen Wilson.

Crowe, Russell. Reports are divided on whether is a straight-shooter or an egotistical roughneck. Drunkard. High school drop-out. Has had at least one three-way (with another man, no less); rumored to have been same-sex before he hit it big in Hollywood; rumored to be flirty to gay men until they respond, at which point he gets abusive. Shouts his own name in bed. Rumored to have sold drugs as a teen. Rumored to have hit women in the past. Brawler who fights dirty, including biting his opponents. Linked with Jennifer Connelly, Jodie F oster, Heather Graham, Nicole Kidman, Courtney Love, Meg Ryan, Winona Ryder, and Sharon Stone.

Cruise, Tom. Oh, definitely not a Friend Of Dorothy. Why would you ever think such a thing? No, certainly not. And he definitely doesn't force his gay lovers to sign lengthy non-disclosure contracts before he gets involved with them; that's just a vile, untrue rumor started to bring shame on this quite emphatically heterosexual movie star. Certainly not someone who has and enjoys sex with lots of men. One would never hear Mr. Cruise described as "awkward and inarticulate" when speaking without a script, and certainly never hear him described as "vain, shallow, and pretentious." No, certainly not--the reverse is true of Mr. Cruise! $cientologist. Vain & arrogant. Never graduated from high school. Acted badly towards Nicole Kidman during their break-up, which was caused partially by his insistence on raising the kids $cientologist (she wanted them raised Catholic) and partially because of her pregnancy, which may have been his and may have been Ewan McGregor's. Broke up with Nicole via his representatives. (Cruise, you swine.) Linked with Patricia Arquette, Cher, Penelope Cruz, Rebecca De Mornay, Nelly Furtado, Anthony Hopkins, Nicole Kidman, Heather Locklear, Paul Newman, Lisa Marie Presley, and Mimi Rogers.

Cruz, Penelope. Lesbian. And those rumors you hear about her acting the beard for Tom Cruise? Don't believe them. No, I mean it. No, seriously. Linked with Matthew McConaughey.

Cukor, George. FOD.

Culkin, Macaulay. Perhaps the quintessential Too Famous Too Soon child star. Messed up on drugs--somewhat understandable, given his father (as thorough an ogre as you're likely to run across outside of the Crosby household). Possibly molested by Michael Jackson. Very friendly in person, however. Linked with Mila Kunis (of That '70s Show).

Cumming, Alan. Gay. "Very sweet and gracious."

Curry, Tim. "An absolute sweetheart - a lovely guy." F OD or Bi______. Linked with Annie Potts.

Curtis, Jamie Lee. Pothead. Recovering drug and alcohol addict. Married to Christopher Guest. Linked with Adam Ant.

Curtis, Tony. Abused by his mother. Recovering drug & alcohol addict. Linked with, oh, just about everybody including Janet Leigh, Marilyn Monroe, Mamie Van Do ren, and the occasional man.

Cusack, John. Cokehead and heavy drinker who can act very badly on occasion, and apparently has a bad reputation in Chicago. (Oh, John, say it ain't so!) Linked with Pamela Anderson, Neve Campbell, Minnie Driver, Claire Forlani, Meg Ryan, and Uma Thurman.

Dafoe, Willem. "A gracious man who seems to enjoy talking to people no matter who they are or what they do." One of the Ten Biggest Men in Hollywood. Linked with Madonna and Mira Sorvino.

Dalle, Beatrice. Thief, drug user (cocaine and heroin) and generally wild and uncontrollable woman. Linked with Rupert Everett.

Daly, Carson. Even less intelligent than he looks, which is saying something. Recently pushed his way to the front of a line at JFK Airport, showing himself to be not just stupid but a bully to boot. Hung. Likes cute, well-hung boys; used his mouth to climb the ladder at MTV. Linked with Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Tara Reid (what, does Daly wield The Force against women or something?).

Damon, Matt. Cracking under pressure of fame, the little punk. Best friends with Ben Affleck, and possibly more than that. Likes threeways with hookers and Ben Affleck. One account has the two looking at each other (and getting off on that) while doing the pro. Got William Goldman to scriptdoctor Good Will Hunting--the final product was not Damon & Affleck's alone. Li nked with Penelope Cruz, Claire Danes (when she was under the legal age), Minnie Driver (who found out that he'd dumped her when she hear d it on Oprah--Damon, you jerk), Susanna Eng, Calista Flockhart, Lucy Liu, Eva Mendes, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Winona Ryder.

Dando, Evan. Linked with Bijou Phillips, Julianna Hatfield, Courtney Love, Kylie Minogue (who he was caught having sex with in a public toilet), and Liv Tyler, among others--and, yes, he and Julianna were having sex.

Danes, Claire. Insecurity leads her to take abuse from men- -or perhaps it's her need to cover up her attraction to women. She needs someone like me to talk to. Treated badly by Yalies, poor thing. (Should have gone to Harvard....) Linked with Billy Crudup , Matt Damon and Ben Lee.

Dangerfield, Rodney. Problem with substance abuse.

Daniels, Charlie. Flaunts his historical and political ignorance in his pro-war statements. Had a woman fired for e-mailing him an anti-war message.

Daniels, Anthony. "Kind of a schmuck...was very conspicuously chatting up naive young female fans at one convention."

Daniels, Jeff. A nice guy.

Danson, Ted. Reportedly vai n. Long time client of LA BDSM house; "a well-behaved client and a good tipper." Fo rmerly involved with Whoopi Goldberg. Currently married to Mary Steenburgen.

Danza, Tony. Self-importa nt (though at least one bartender says otherwise) and often unpleasant to fans and strangers. Fin gered as a client of a gay escort; prefers well-hung gentlemen, esp. porn stars.

Dash, Stacey. Bore the children of Christopher Williams, the man who beat Halle Berry so badly that she's almost deaf in one ear. Also linked with Aaliyah.

Davies, Marion. Linked with Charlie Chaplin, Clark Gable, Leslie Howard, Joseph P. Kennedy, Dick Powell, William Randolph Hearst and Rudolph Valentino. (Her clitoris was nicknamed "rosebud" by Hearst, which is meaningful to you if you've seen Citizen Kane.)

Davies, Ray. Bisexual. Linked with Chrissie Hynde.

Davis, Ann B. Religious fanatic and alcoholic. L______.

Davis, Bette. A great star, and a great bitch (and not in a good way). Linked w ith Humphrey Bogart, H enry Fonda, Howard Hughes, Franchot Tone, and Gig Young.

Davis, Geena. Very difficult to work with, and has let her success go to her head. Breast implants. Linked with Jeff Goldblum, Renny Harlin (busted marriage) and Brad Pitt.

Davis, Kristin. "Snotty and s poiled." Recovering alcoholic. Lin ked with Alec Baldw in and Jeff Goldblum.

Davis, Miles. "The single most overrated figure in jazz." Brilliant despite the hype, but his genius does not outweigh the pure evil he did to so many other people. Emotionally and physically violent towards women, including Cicely Tyson during their marriage.

Davis, Jr, Sammy. Bisexual. Member of the Church of Satan. Had a taste for porn. Linked with Marilyn Chambers, Linda Lovelace, Marilyn Monroe, Kim Novak and Jean Seberg.

Dawson, Rosario. Linked with Colin Farrell (who dumped her in a very rude and abrupt way) and Joshua Jackson.

Day, Doris. Hard to work with. Had an unhappy life. Linked with Jimmy Hoffa, Frank Sinatra, Tyrone Power, Ronald Reagan, Burt Reynolds, Debbie Reynolds, Sly (of Sly and the Family Stone), and Maury Wills.

De Acosta, Mercedes. Gave rise to the game of linking people via their sexual conquests. Famed Hollywood L______. Linked to Maude Adams, Alice B. Toklas, Marlene Dietrich, Isadora Duncan, and Greta Garbo.

Dean, James. Open bisexual; habitue of rough trade and leather bars. Linked with Nick Adams, Ursula Andress, Pier Angeli, Montgomery Clift, Rock Hudson, Eartha Kitt, Roddy McDowell, Sal Mineo, Liz Sheridan (Seinfeld's mom on Seinfeld) and Natalie Wood. Difficult to work with. Called 'the Human Ashtray' because he would ask men in leather bars to put out their cigarettes on his bare chest. Reportedly enjoyed amputees.

Degeneres, Ellen. "Very nice to the crew on her new talk show." Openly gay. Linked with Anne Heche, KD Lang and Martha Stewart. Some have said she is difficult to work with.

De Havilland, Olivia. Bisexual. Linked with Errol Flynn, Clark Gable, Edward Heath, Howard Hughes, John Huston, Frederic March, Burgess Meredith and Jimmy Stewart.

De La Hoya, Oscar. Rapist. Anti-semite.

Delaney, Kim. L______. Habitue' of L.A. girl bars. Once sm uggled ganja for friends. DUI arrest.

Delon, Alain. Closet queen. National Front member. Linked with Brigitte Bardot, Jane Fonda, Shirley Maclain, and Nico.

Del Toro, Benicio. Regular guy. Macho. "Shockingly sweet...amazi ngly mellow." (I continue to get e-mails about what a nice guy he is). Has n o particular liking for o ral sex. "Severely hygienically negligent." "Always carries a condom in his wallet." (Silly man, don't you know that your body heat will warp and stretch the latex?). Linked with Sophie Dahl, Susanna Eng, Claire Forlani, Heather Graham, Scarlett Johanssen, and Alicia Silverstone.

Deluise, Dom. FOD.

DeMille, Cecil B. Anti-Semite.

De Mornay, Rebecca. Daughter of rightwing crackpot Wally George. Liinked with Leonard Cohen and Tom Cruise.

Deneuve, Catherine. Into young boys in leather. Linked with Dean Martin, Marcelle Mastroianni, Roman Polanski, Burt Reynolds, Omar Sharif and Roger Vadim.

De Niro, Robert . "Stupid and boring." "Socially lost, but a total gentleman to work with." "A big weirdo; he once complained that our coffee was too expensive!" Ho-hopper; linked to prostitutes both domestically and internationally. Prefers African-American women (and, if one rumor is to be believed, women who prefer bubble-gum to beer). Link ed with Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford, Calista Flockhart, Whitney Houston, Janet Jackson, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman and Shelley Winters.

Dennehy, Brian. "Extremely nice to his fans."

Denver, Bob. Pothead. Was very generous to his fellow cast members.

Denver, John. His head was never recovered following his fatal plane crash. Alcoholic.

Depardieu, Gerard. Is helping ruin French tv dramas by charging excessive fees. Ass hole. Grammar school dropout. Hygienically challenged . Bad, cheap father. L inked with Nastassja Kinski (when she was underage) and John Travolta.

Depp, Johnny. Difficult to work with (or perhaps not; e-mailed accounts differ). Drug user/abuser. Experimenting sexually. Linked with Naomi Campbell, Sherilyn Fenn, Jennifer Grey, Juliette Lewis, Kate Moss (who he shared addictions with), Vanessa Paradis , Christina Ricci,and Winona Ryder.

Derek, Bo. "Very nice woman. As down to earth as can possibly be expected." Acted in porn before starring in 10. Reportedly frigid, but g-d knows that enduring the sleazy reptilian touch (and no doubt clumsy pawing) of John Derek would be enough to turn any woman off men for the rest of her days. Linked with John Corbett.

Derek, John. Creep. Je rk. Bisexual. Linked with (married to) Ursula Andress, Bo Derek, Linda Evans, and Miles O'Keefe.

Dern, Laura. Helped break up the marriages of Billy Bob Thornton and Ben Harper. Linked with Nicholas Cage, Jeff Goldblum, Renny Harlin, Kyle MacLachlan, Vincent Spano, and Treat Williams (while still a teen).

de Rossi, Portia. L______. Recovering anorexic.

Des Barres, Pamela. World's Most Famous Groupie. Linked with Micheal Des Barres, Bob Dylan, Mick Jagger, Waylon Jennings, Don Johnson, Keith Moon, Jim Morrison, Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, and Frank Zappa.

Dey, Susan. Recovering alcoholic and anorexic. Has daddy issues and prefers older men. Linked with David Cassidy and Wes Craven (while he was married).

Diana, Princess. Vain, shallow, petty woman. The less you knew her, the better you liked her. Addicted to Rohypnol.

Diaz, Cameron. "Self-important bimbo." Germ -phobic. Alcoholic and drug user. Very hard to work for; once made her assistant shave her armpits for her. The blonde nitwit in Lost in Translation is reportedly based on her. Has very bad acne, bad body odor, and bad breath. (What is the appeal of this woman?) Linked with Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Dillon, Jared Leto, Ed Norton, Vincent D'Onofrio, Justin Timberlake (she is acting the beard for him) , and Vince Vaughn.

Dicaprio, Leonardo. Slut. Reportedly aggressively bisexual. Treated Claire Danes horrendously on the set of Romeo (although I've since been told that the latter rumor isn't so and that the two are friends). Reported heavy drug & alcohol use, to the point where it interferes with his acting performance. Hygienically challenged. Punk. Allegedly made gay porn under anot her name. Has used hookers in the past; likes anal sex with them. Tickle fetishist . Linked with Christina Aguilera (the combined weight of their skanky ho-itude no doubt created a Black Hole of Skankiness), David Blaine, Gisele Bundchen, Naomi Campbell, Cameron Diaz, Natasha Henstridge, Eva Herzigova, Lauren Holly, Rachel Hunter, Julie tte L ewis, Tobey Maguire, Demi Moore, Kate Moss, Bijou Philips, Baby Spice,

Q-Tip, and Kate Winslet.

Dick, Andy. Aptly named. DUI and drug abuser. Bisexual.

Dickinson, Angie. Linked with Burt Bacharach, Johnny Carson, David Janssen, JFK, Larry King, and Frank Sinatra.

Dickinson, Janice. A playa. Linked with Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger, Grace Jones & Dolph Lundgren (in a three-way), Kelly LeBrock, Liam Neeson, Jack Nicholson, Prince Albert, and Sylvester Stallone.

Diddy, P. (aka the Egotist Formerly Known As Sean Coombs and Puff Daddy.) Hard to work for. Lousy in the sack. Possibly Bi______. Cruel to animals--threw a puppy from the roof of his Village townhouse. I've heard hints of even more evil behavior toward humans by him. "Incredible cheapskate." Linked with Foxxy Brown, Naomi Campbell, Mariah Carey, Lil Kim, Lisa Lopes, Jennifer Lopez, Mase, and Leah Remini.

Diesel, Vin. Prefers the company of gentlemen (what a loss!) (this is fiercely disputed and supported, with a number of supposed "eye-witness" accounts testifying for and against. There's only one way to settle this. Vin--do me!). "Incredibly generous to friends and family." Ashamed of his ethnic background. Supposedly--ha, this is a good one--supposedly the son of Elliot Gould while Gould was married to Streisand. Reportedly a nice guy in person. Linked with Asia Argento, Mariah Carey, Nicole Kidman and Michelle Rodriguez.

Dietrich, Marlene. Good old girl; player with both sexes, though preferred women. Had a final, ugly descent into alcoholism. Linked with Brian Aherne, Burt Bacharach, Cecil Beaton, George Bernard Shaw (!), Yul Brynner, Claudette Colbert, Colette, Ronald Colman, Gary Cooper, Mercedes De Acosta, Kirk Douglas, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr, Eddie Fisher, Kay Francis, Greta Garbo, John Gilbert, Edith Head, Billie Holliday, Lena Horne, Howard Hughes, Joseph P Kennedy, JFK, Burt Lancaster, Fritz Lang, Hattie McDaniel, Burgess Meredith, Edward R. Murrow, Edith Piaf, George Raft, Erich Maria Remarque, William Saroyan, Frank Sinatra, Barbara Stanwyck, Adlai Stevenson, Jimmy Stewart, Mike Todd, Dionne Warwick, John Wayne, and Orson Welles.

Dillon, Kevin. "Totally one of the good guys, good tipper, easygoing with whomever recognized him."

Dillon, Matt. Reportedly bisexual. Likes being tied up. Alco holic. Drug addict. "Seen more ass than a bus station toilet seat." Lin ked with Ellen Barkin, Mariah Carey and Cameron Diaz.

DiMaggio, Joe. Physical abuser of women, including Marilyn Monroe. Whoremonger. Psychopathically cold personality. Treated his family badly. Had mob ties. In sum, as bad at being a person as he was good at playing baseball.

Disney, Walt. Cold fish personality; sexist, racist, anti-Semitic homophobe.

Doctor Phil. Tells racist and homophobic jokes to his staff.

Doherty, Shannon. Completely unpleasant person. Hypocritical conservative. Incredibly hard to work with. Has a long string of failed relationships, from one-night stands (of which there were a number) to ongoing relationships. Bi______; rumored to have been a regular at Playboy Mansion parties and engaged in trysts with Playmates. Breast implants. Linked with Heidi Fleiss, and possibly a former worker for her. Recovering (current?) drug & alcohol addict. Drunk driver. Linked with Judd Nelson and Matthew Perry.

Dole, Bob. Reportedly a good person and nic e guy, although there are a number of stories about his temper. Div orced once and had affairs while separated. Facelift.

Dolenz, Mickey. Does not have a good reputation when it comes to interacting with the fans.

Domingo, Placido. "Can't keep it in his pants around women."

D'Onofrio, Vincent. His ego has ballooned even larger than his quite sizable package. Very bad-tempered. Sex addict. Linked with Cameron Diaz and Greta Scacchi.

Dorsett, Tony. "Not nice to fans, even to kids." (This shouldn't surprise anyone--he's a former Dallas Cowboy, after all).

Douglas, Illeana. Diva-in-training. Linked with Martin Scorsese.

Douglas, Kirk. "The most hated man in Hollywood." Difficult to wor k with (obviously). Sex addict, and was willing to physically force women to have sex with him (which is to say, he was a rapist; among his victims were Jean Seberg and Natalie Wood). Linked with Lauren Bacall, Joan Crawford, Marlene Dietrich, Rita Hayworth, Patricia Neal, Gene Tierney, and Lana Turner.

Douglas, Michael. Repugnant, contemptible man. Recovering drug & alcohol and sex a ddict. Unpleasant to fans. Lin ked with Maureen Dowd, Melanie Griffith, Demi Moore, Brenda Vaccaro, and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Downey, Robert, Jr. Was a penis-lashed "human piñata" courtesy of the other inmates in jail; made lotsof new friends in his cell. Has now admitted to several same-sex episodes. Recovering and probably current drug addict. Stalks his ex-girlfriend. Never graduated from high school. Linked with Farrah Fawcett, Calista Flockhart, Sarah Jessica Parke r, Winona Ryder, and Uma Thurman.

Downey, Roma. Linked with married man Michael Nouri.

Dre, Dr. Bi______.

Drescher, Fran. Yet another failed Hollywood marriage.

Dreyfuss, Richard. Recovering drug & alcohol addict. Difficult to work with. Good liberal, though. Closeted FOD or bisexual. Friendly to fans (with one or two exceptions).

Driver, Minnie. Possibly not nearly so sweet as she likes to be portrayed. Linked with Josh Brolin, John Cusack, Matt Damon, David Duchovny, Joey Fatone ( of NSYNC), Harrison Ford, Chris Isaak, Mick Jagger (oh, yuch), David Schwimmer, and Elliot Smith.

Drudge, Matt. FOD and egg fetishist who's done great damage to his gay brothers and sisters by aiding the cause of fascists, intolerant orthodox Christians, and conservative scum. Ethically challenged hypocritical lackey and moral catamite to right-wingers. We remember you from the old days, Matt-o, and when you fall back to obscurity we'll be waiting with sharpened knives.

Dryer, Fred. Difficult to wor k with. Sexually harasses his coworkers. Co nservative yahoo. Linked with Tracy Vaccaro.

Duchovny, David. Married to Tea Leoni; deals with his separation from her by engaging in steamy phone-sex with her. Pothead. Reportedly likes strippers and young women. Likes porn--a lot. Hard to work with (this is disputed). Formerly with Gillian Anderson (allegedly fathered her child), Minnie Driver, and Winona Ryder.

Duff, Hilary. Her mom is a racist bitch. It just may be that some of the lead vocals on Hilary's songs in Hilary's sister Hayley, rather than Hillary herself. "Diva and spoiled...many tantrums and feuds." Has (already) developed a coke problem.

Dunaway, Faye. Difficult to work with; was once voted "worst passenger" by a group of H'wood limo drivers. Very cheap, very self-absorbed . Possibly used drugs in the past. Just generally unpleasant to everyone, and that's on her good days. Linked with Marlon Brando, Lenny Bruce, Michael Caine, Marcello Mastroianni, Steve McQueen, Jack Nicholson, and Peter Wolf.

Duncan, Isadora. Aggressively Bi_______, and quite enjoyed herself. Linked with Mercedes De Acosta and a cast of thousands.

Duncan, Michael Clarke. Rumored to be Bi______. "Incredibly friendly, wonderfully gracious, and really nice to fans. He's also really nice to work with." "A master in the bedroom. A perfect gentleman and quite romantic."

Dunst, Kirsten . "Stuck-up," although since writing that I've gotten several e-mails attesting to Kirsten being really sweet (So far the e-mail has been running 20% "she was a real bitch to me" to 80% "she was so incredibly sweet to me". Caught smoking pot in public (not smart, girl, not smart) and may have an alcohol problem. Linked with Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger and Tobey Maguire.

Duritz, Adam. Linked with Jennifer Aniston, Lara Flynn Boyle, Courtney Cox, Mary Louise Parker, Winona Ryder, and Gwen Stefani. (Having typed this, I will now light myself on fire.) (I stole that line from ESPN's brilliant Sports Guy.)

Durst, Fred. "What a sad, pathetic loser." Linked with Carmen Electra, Alyssa Milano, and Brittany Murphy.

Duvall, Clea. "Very easy to work with, cares a lot about the people around her." "One of the sweetest and most down to earth women working in show business today." Lesbian.

Dylan, Bob. Has treated his women badly; numerous sexual dise ases. Plagiarist. Li n ked with Joan Baez, Sheryl Crow, & Pamel a Des Barres.

Earle, Steve. Recovering addict.

Eastwood, Alison. "Stupid bitchpie."

Eastwood, Clint. Refreshingly modest and down-to-Earth pers onality. Did not treat Sondra Locke particularly well in his relationship with her, though, and has a problem with staying faithful. Oh, and I've been told one story of his being incredibly rude to a fan. Has shown up on set in drag at least twice--it's all a joke, he claims. Wife beater. Dodged military service in Korea. Possible early same-sex relationship with his mentor Arthur Lubin. Also linked with Francis Fisher and Babs Streisand.

Eckhart, Aaron. Alcohol problem. Can be very rude "if you are acting with him, otherwise he's a good guy." Linked with Charlize Theron.

Eden, Barbara. Inexplicably popular in Japan. Reportedly now shopping her fading charms around for cash.

Eddy, Nelson. Not, contrary to what I said earlier, gay; was, rather, devoted to Jeanette MacDonald. (How sweet!)

Eggert, Nicole. Hygienically challe nged. Drug/alcohol problems. "Has traded favors for parts one or two times." Linked with Scott Baio and Corey Haim, among others.

Ekberg, Anita. Linked with Gary Cooper & Marcello Mastroianni.

Ekland, Britt. Bi______. Linked with Warren Beatty, George Hamilton, Ryan O'Neal, Peter Sellers, Rod Stewart.

Electra, Carmen. Admits to same-sex affairs. Will use the casting couch to get roles. "Really isn't kidding--she is really a dumb bimbo. Communal box of popcorn for Hollywood." Linked with Vin Diesel, Fred Durst (of Limp Bizkit), Tom my Lee, Dave Navarro, Prince, and Dennis Rodman.

Elfman, Jenna. $cientologist. Linked with Thomas Gibson. Pothead. Given to salty language.

Ellington, Duke. At the least very gay-positive; may have slept with his openly gay collaborator Billy Strayhorn.

Elliot, David James. "An absolute terror on set. Jackass and prick are two words often used to describe him."

Elliott, Missy. L______. Linked with Da Brat and Trina.

Elwes, Cary. Gay. (sigh, what a loss) "Nicest guy in the world - great sense of humor."

Eminem. Described as a nice guy by his friends, but his lyrics are vile and evil. Reportedly closeted very deeply and likes that back-door loving from and with men, and likes to watch men have sex with his girlfriend. Linked with Kim Basinger, Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Geri Halliwell, Elton John, Gina Lynn, and Brittany Murphy.

Eng, Susanna. Tssss...*hot*. (Difficult to work with, however, or so I'm hearing). Recovering cocaine and painkiller addict. Linked with Orlando Bloom (or perhaps it was just a PR stunt), Matt Damon, Seth Green, Salma Hayek, James Marsters, Lenny Kravitz, Ewan McGregor, Joaquin Phoenix, Eric Stoltz, Benicio del Toro, and Owen Wilson.

Englund, Robert. Gay.

Epps, Omar. Bisexual and a philanderer; has vd from his wildcatting ways.

Erving, Julius. (Dr. J). Playa, old school.

Estevez, Emilio. $cientologist. Linked with Paula Abdul (ex-wife) and Demi Moore.

Etheridge, Melissa. Out of the closet L_____. Linked with Meg Ryan, Helen Hunt, and Tammy Lynn Michaels (of Popular).

Evangelista, Linda. L_______; using Kyle MacLachlan as a merkin.

Evans, Robert. One of the leading swordsman in Hollywood.

Eve. Lesbian. Former escort.

Everett, Rupert. Openly gay; former rentboy. Into very rough S&M games and viciously harassing his ex-lovers. Linked with Beatrice Dalle.

Fabio. "Nice guy--tacky dresser but nice." Gay (or not, according to some women). Pot user. Extremely nice to fans.

Fallon, Jimmy. There are competing stories about him being "funny and friendly" with fans (when sober) and a real cad (when drunk). Grabby with women, too.

Farley, Chris. "Addicted to everything."

Farr, Jamie. "VERY nice and friendly."

Farrell, Colin. All you Farrell haters--don't playa hate--congratulate! Friendly to fans. Linked with Rosario Dawson (who he abruptly dumped for) Angelina Jolie, Jared Leto, Demi Moore, Kevin Spacey, Britney Spears, Robin Wright, and a constantly growing list, who unfortunately are discovering that CF leaves a little extra behind (a three letter extra, first letter sounds like "esss," last letter sounds like "dee," middle letter sounds like something you drink rather than coffee) after he leaves in the morning. Hygienically challenged and is quite stinky. Recovering drug and alcohol abuser. Likes the sistas, although his high-profile conquests are lighter. "Totally nice and accommodating."

Farrell, Terry. Linked with Mickey Rourke.

Farrow, Mia. Failed marriages to/relationships with Woody Allen, Eddie Fisher, Ryan O'Neal, Roman Polanski, Andre Previn, Philip Roth, Peter Sellers, Frank Sinatra, and Tom Stoppard. Adopted many refugees from overseas but raised them in dubious manner. Shrill and humorless. Occasional drunk driver.

Fawcett, Farrah. Cokehead. Prima donna wanna-be. Slut during her early years as an actress. Kleptomaniac. Lots of plastic surgery. Married & divorced Lee Majors. Linked with Robert Downey, Jr., Ryan O'Neal, Vincent Van Patten, Burt Reynolds, and Sylvester Stallone.

Feldman, Corey. Obnoxious punk; drug addict & drun kard. Rumored to have shared a bed and more with Michael Jackson.

Fenn, Sherilyn. "Very down to earth." Linked with Johnny Depp, Prince, and Kiefer Sutherland.

Fergie, Duchess of York. Has been stalking Tiger Woods. She's also stalked Kevin Costner , JFK, Jr. (show some dignity, girl!), and George Clooney.

Field, Sally. Wears waaaay too much perfume. Link ed with Johnny Carson, Kevin Kline, and Burt Reynolds.

Fiennes, Joseph. "Has ideas above his station. Rude to make up artists. Shags around. Shagged Naomi Campbell."

Fiennes, Ralph. Overly impressed with himself (although I've gotten the random e-mail from waiters and the like about how nice he was to them). Left his wife for an older woman. Bi______. Has a wandering eye when his wife isn't around, and doesn't limit himself to women . Is very well hung.

Fierstein, Harvey. Sweet, insecure, openly gay.

Finney, Albert. "Very polite, very nice." Linked with Anouk Aimee, Audrey Hepburn, Diane Keaton, and Shelley Winters.

Fiorentino, Linda. Enthusiastically played the field--both sides--while in college. Difficult to work with. Size queen.

Fishburne, Laurence. Rude to fans. I've received a number of different e-mails implying that Mr. Fishburne (don't call him "Larry") is gay.

Fisher, Carrie. Recovering drug addict. Former wife of Pau l Simon. Never graduated from high school. Bipolar, but is finally on the right drug regimen and has her life together again--good for you, Ms. Fisher. Very witty writer. Linked with Ben Affleck (you go, Carrie!), Harrison Ford, and George Lucas.

Fisher, Eddie. Admitted speed user. Lin ked with Pier Angeli, Ann-Margaret, Marlene Dietrich, Mia Farrow, Judy Garland, Merle Oberon, Stefanie Powers, Debbie Reynolds, Connie Stevens, Elizabeth Taylor, and Mamie Van Doren.

Flatley, Michael. Hilariously vain and conceited dancer. One of several men for which the phrase "GET OVER YOURSELF" was invented. Divorced his wife. Voted one of the twenty most-hated people in I reland. Recently sued for rape.

Fleischer, Ari. Known around Washington for making inappropriate advances toward at least one reporter. Has apparently also been cruising gay websites for sex partners.

Fleming, Ian. Slut. Wife-swapper and Bi______.

Flockhart, Calista. Anorexic, and rumored to have a heroin j ones. Nice to fans. Linked with Matt Damon, Robert Downey, Jr., Robert DeNiro, Harrison Ford, David E. Kelley (who she cuckolded Michelle Pfeiffer with) (although at least one reliable source has informed me that Calista was shacking up with Kelley's co-exec-producer Jeffrey Kramer, not Kelley himself), and Garry Shandling (who deserved much better than and from Flockhart).

Flynn, Errol. "The most despicable human being yet born." "My son had not only been a bad little boy, he had been a nasty little boy." Jerk and Nazi sympathizer--also a spy for the Axis, if rumors are to be believed. A closeted FOD. Anti-Semite. Linked with Truman Capote, Olivia de Havilland, Doris Duke, Howard Hughes, Barbara Hutton, Hedy Lamarr, David Niven, Eva Peron, Tyrone Power, Lana Turner, Gloria Vanderbilt, Lupe Velez, and Shelley Winters.

Fonda, Bridget. "The only starlet in her 20s that I found cool when I interviewed her." Linked w ith Danny Elfman, Eric Stoltz and Dwight Yoakam.

Fonda, Henry. Cold man in person, even to his family. Linked with Lucille Ball, Joan Crawford, and Bette Davis.

Fonda, Jane. Ninny. Wasn't faithful to Tom Hayden during their marriage. Breast implants. Multiple plastic surgeries. Shamed herself permanently by visiting North Vietnam during the War--we sure weren't saints during that war, but the North Vietnamese and Chinese were a damn sight worse. (At least she apologized for it. Eventually). Linked with Warren Beatty, Alain Delon, James Franciscus, Tom Hayden , Rob Lowe, Huey Newton, Michelle Phillips, Papa John Phillips, Robert Redford, Jimmy Smits, Donald Sutherland, Ted Turner (failed marriage), and Roger Vadim (with whom she enjoyed threesomes--with other girls--in Paris).

Fonda, Peter. "Really sweet. Pothead"

Ford, Faith. "Very nice to her fans."

Ford, Glenn. Linked with Joan Crawford, Eva Gabor, Judy Garland, Rita Hayworth, Debbie Reynolds, and Barbara Stanwyck.

Ford, Harrison. Rumored to be a skirt-chasing slut into stripper clubs; wife dumped him when she found out that the rumors were true. Big hemp smoker. Also rumored to be into leather and S&M, as well as being a homophobe. (Although rumors begin to emerge about his dalliances with younger men). The Bill Murray character in Lost in Translation is reportedly based on him. Good tipper. Linked with Lara Flynn Boyle, Lesley Ann Down, Minnie Driver, Carrie Fisher, Calista Flockhart, Julia Ormond, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kristen Scott Thomas, and "about four dozen others."

Ford, John. "An S.O.B., a demonic man. Part of his mercurial personality was to do something he knew was mean or mischievous, then try to justify it." Bisexual. Linked with Katherine Hepburn.

Foster, Jodie. Closeted L______. Reported to be ver y nice in person. Some experience with drugs in the past. Was repeatedly molested when young. C lose "friendship" with homophobe Mel Gibson. Had major falling out with Michael Douglas. Linked with Gillian Anderson, Russell Crowe, Mel Gibson, Rob Lowe, Kelly McGillis, and Julian Sands (?!).

Fox, Rick. Cheating SOB.

Fox, Vivica. Linked with 50 Cent. (That's way too much woman for him, as events proved). "Self-absorbed bitch."

Foxx, Jamie. Self-important. Frequents Gentlemen's Clubs. Drug user. Bad tipper. Chubby chaser. Prefers white women.

Foxx, Redd. Difficult to work with.

Francis, Kay. L______.

Frank, Barney. Out. Would make a great president. "Very nice guy, bit of a klutz."

Franklin, Aretha. Victim of incest; her first child was her father's.

Franz, Dennis. Can be a jerk. (Although I've also heard some good things about him in e-mail).

Fraser, Brendan. FOD. Hygienically challenged. (Brendan, you stink! Bathe, man, bathe!) Linked w ith Alicia Silverstone.

Freeman, Morgan. Heavy ganja smoker. Recovering alcoholic.

Fry, Stephen. Playing for the home team. No longer celibate, as he was for a good lon g while. "The nicest man you could ever hope to meet."

Furlong, Edward. Abuser of women. Drug user. Linked with Natasha Lyonne.

Gable, Clark. Notorious tightwad. Bad breath, and bad in bed. Preferred blondes--had a hang-up about brown/black pubic hair. Used the casting couch to break into Hollywood; had George Cukor fired from Gone With The Wind because Cukor knew that. A hustler for gay clients. Committed murderous hit and run, and MGM covered for him. Linked with Joan Crawford, Marion Davies, Olivia de Havilland, Ava Gardner, Paulette Goddard, Jean Harlow, Grace Kelly, Hedy Lamarr, Carole Lombard, Merle Oberon, Louella Parsons, Nancy Davis Reagan, Norma Shearer, Lana Turner, Lupe Velez, Shelley Winters, and Loretta Young.

Gabor, Eva. One of the good Gabor sisters. (Zsa Zsa was the evil one.) Never experienced an orgasm with a man; faked every one of them. Linked with Glenn Ford, Merv Griffin, Tyrone Power, and Frank Sinatra.

Gabor, Zsa Zsa. "The most expensive courtesan since Mme de Pompadour." Vain, arrogant, unpleasant woman. Slapped a cop who -dared- pull her over on a traffic violation. Cheated on every one of her nine husbands. Linked with Richard Burton, Sean Connery, Duke of Saxony, Conrad Hilton, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk (!), JFK, Aly Khan, Henry Kissinger, William S. Paley, Porfirio Rubirosa, George Sanders (after they had divorced and while George was married to Zsa Zsa's sister Magda), Frank Sinatra, and Rafael Trujillo.

Gabriel, Peter. Linked with Laurie Anderson, Roseanne Arquette, Kate Bush, and Sinead O'Connor.

Gaiman, Neil. "Is even nicer than you've heard."

Gallagher, Liam. Asshole. Linked with Helena Christiansen, Rachel Hunter, and Patsy Kensit.

Gandolfini, James. Recovering cocaine and alcohol addict.

Garbo, Greta. Sad woman; had her career sabotaged by MGM. Rumored to be a man. Linked with Max Baer, Tallulah Bankhead, Louise Brooks, Mercedes De Acosta, Dolores Del Ri o, Marlene Dietrich, Joh n Gilbert (who she left standing at the altar), Joseph P. Kennedy, Carson McCullers, Ramon Novarro, Erich Maria Remarque, Leopold Stokowski, and William S. Paley.

Garcia, Jerry. Drug addict. Hired by the FBI in 1968 to "channel youth dissent and rebellion into more benign and nonthreatening directions."

Gardner, Ava. "The world's most exciting animal." Temperamental, self-destructive, and a drunk. Linked to Richard Burton, Robert Evans, Clark Gable, Lena Horne, Howard Hughes, John Huston, Fernando Lamas, Peter Lawford, Robert Mitchum, David Niven, Mickey Rooney, Porfirio Rubirosa, George C. Scott, Omar Sharif, Artie Shaw, Frank Sinatra, Robert Taylor, Mel Torme, and Lana Turner.

Garfield, John. Good old lefty liberal who was essentially killed by HUAC. Linked with Joan Crawford, Hedy Lamarr, Edith Piaf, Lana Turner, and Shelley Winters.

Garland, Judy. Led a sad & unpleasant life: alcohol, pills, suicide attempts; died from an "accidental" drug overdose. Bisexual. Linked with Dirk Bogarde, Yul Brynner, Eddie Fisher, Glenn Ford, Aly Khan, Peter Lawford, Oscar Levant, Ethel Merman (!), Tyrone Power, Artie Shaw, Frank Sinatra, Robert Stack, Kay Thompson, Spencer Tracy (when JG was 15), and Orson Welles.

Garner, James. FOD married to beard. Linked with Lauren Bacall.

Garner, Jennifer. "A real sweetheart." Linked with Ben Affleck and Michael Vartan. Her marriage to Scott Foley failed when a) Foley's fragile male ego couldn't take Garner's success or b) when Garner's success changed her.

Garofalo, Janeane. Janeane, you're wonderful--don't worry about yourself so much! Recovering alcoholic. Linked with Ben Stiller.

Garrett, Leif. Drug user. Linked with Justine Bateman, Nicolette Sheridan , and Teri Wiegel.

Gates, Bill. Poster boy for the Nerd Generation. Is heavily dominated/hen-pecked by his wife. Still unclear whether Gates and Microsoft are only examples of greed, or whether there is a more sinister evil at work. Hygienically challenged; is a "full-on slob." Has this thing where he sometimes rocks uncontrollably in his chair. Had a need for speed (automotive) while young. Reportedly entertains call girls in his office. Does not tip at all when he eats out. (Open the wallet, you cheapskate!)

Gaynor, Janet. Bise xual. Linked with Mary Martin.

Geary, Tony. (Of General Hospital) Gay, gay, gay!

Geer, Will. Closet queen and open communist. Linked with Harry Hay, a pioneer in the American gay rights movement.

Gellar, Sarah Michelle. Recovering anorexic. Prefers to go out with men less famous than she. Has grown too impressed with herself and acted the diva on the set of Scooby Doo; "arrived for her fitting with large entourage and a condescending attitude." Has hair extension because of the damage all that dyeing has done to her hair. Just had her breasts done (or not, according to Liz Smith). Either "bitchy" and "imperious" or simply too take-charge and aggressive for fragile egos. I've received a couple of e-mails from store clerks and cashiers who said that SMG was "condescending" and "patronizing" to them. Linked with David Boreanaz (whose marriage she helped destroy), James Marsters (who she should dump Freddie Prinze Jr. for) , Jerry O'Connell, Matthew Perry, and Freddie Prinze Jr (whose attraction, for SMG, is one of the great mysteries of our time).

Gere, Richard. Former husband/merkin to Cindy Crawford. Closet case, although the gerbil-stuffing rumor was spread by Stallone. Likes it rough--very rough. Supposedly a regular at the ER of St. Vincent's, where he brings in a few handsome young men every year with ruptured colons. "A big bottom." "Dumber than hell. Narcissistic in the extreme." Or so I'm told. Linked to Kim Basinger, Barbara Carrera, Priscilla Presley, Juli a Roberts, Diana Ross, Barbra Streisand, Uma Thurman, John Travolta, and Tuesday Weld.

Gershon, Gina. Former prostitute. Got her role on Snoops by nailing David E. Kelley. Linked with Gillian Anderson, Beck, Lenny Kravitz, and Owen Wilson.

Gershwin, George. Slut. Linked to Kitty Carlisle, Paulette Goddard, Ginger Rogers, Simone Simon, and Fay Wray.

Gibbons, Debbie. "Miserable bitch." Bi______.

Gibbons, Leeza. Once upon a time was quite the party girl.

Gibson, Bob (former St. Louis Cardinals pitcher). "Unmitigated prick. Nasty temper."

Gibson, Mel. Strident and clueless Catholic. Anti-Semitic (and anyone who claims he isn't, after having seen his odious piece of offal The Passion, is either lying, anti-Semitic themselves, or pig-ignorant as to what anti-Semitism actually is). Compulsively cheats on his wife; refuses to let her use birth control. Homophobe and sexist. Alcoholic. Has a taste for Thai hookers; has them flown in while he's on set. Is also a shoe fetishist. Racist, given to telling jokes about blacks and using the n-word. Locals on one film agreed that he had "the world's worst case of b.o."

Gielgud, Sir John. Openly gay (good on you, Sir John ). Blatant misogynist (bad on you, Sir John).

Gifford, Frank. Lackwit husband to Kathy Lee. Cheated on her when given the chance, admitting his taste for pornography. Former client of Heidi Fleiss' brothel. FOD or Bisexual.

Gifford, Kathie Lee. One of the foci of evil in the modern world. Sociopathic personality; emotional abuser of her child; empty-headed & vain. Exploits third-world workers via her clothing line. Does not treat her assistants well. Cheap tipper . Linked with Kevin Costner.

Gilbert, John. Had his career ruined by that SOB Louis B. Mayer. Was left standing at the altar by Greta Garbo. Linked with Clara Bow, Marlene Dietrich, Carole Lombard, Norma Shearer, and Lupe Velez.

Gilbert, Sara. L______.

Gingrich, Newt. Evil, egotistical conservative martinet. Draft-dodger. Divorced once; cheated/cheats on his wife, and reportedly used House offices for trysts. Has oral sex with women so he can claim he didn't sleep with them. Forced ex-wife to sign divorce papers hours after her cancer surgery. Deadbeat dad.

Gish, Lillian. Bisexual.

Givens, Robin. Difficult to work with, although her failed marriage to (and abuse at the hands of) Mike Tyson might explain that. Linked with Michael Jordan, Jason Kidd, Eddie Murphy (when she was 16), Brad Pitt, Malik Seal y, Howard Stern, Mike Tyson, and Forest Whitaker.

Glenn, Scott. Would-be food connoisseur--but a failure at it. Seen, once, making out in a hot tub with Bruce Jenner. (Man, that's scraping the bottom of the celebrity barrel. What, wasn't Sorrell Booke available?)

Glitter, Gary. Into kiddie porn.

Goddard, Paulette. Bisexual. Had a lifelong taste for rich men and rich living. Linked with Charlie Chaplin (by marriage), Johnny Carson, Gary Cooper, Clark Gable, George Gershwin, Howard Hughes, John Huston, Aldous Huxley (!), Frida Kahlo (!), Sir Alexader Korda, Burgess Meredith (by marriage), David Niven, Aristotle Onassis, Erich Maria Remarque, Diego Rivera, Artie Shaw, John Steinbeck, Spencer Tracy, John Wayne, and H.G. Wells.

Goldberg, Whoopi. Bi______. F ormer teenaged streetwalker. Former heroin addict. Formerly involved with Ted Danson (a worse crime?). Possible involvement with Patrick Stewart. Linked with Frank Langella. Hygienically challenged. Difficult to work with.

Goldblum, Jeff. Pothead. Has let his fame go to his head, but the staff in at least one South Beach restaurant & hotel think he's wonderful. Slut. Well hung. "Major plastic surgery." Li nked with Geena Da vis, Kristin Davis, Laura Dern, and Lisa Marie.

Good Charlotte. "Rude, drunk egotists with anger management problems." Bisexual brothers who may be dabbling in each other. (Yuch!)

Gooding, Cuba, Jr. Gave way to temptation and cheated on his wi fe. Since then has found temptation quite easy to give in to. Is very nice to waitstaff.

Goodman, John. Longtime coke addict. (Say it isn't so, John!) "Very good person and very down to earth."

Gordon, Jeff. Quite rude to non-celebrities. (Although some of his fans who claim to have personal encounters with him say that he's rude only to fans who are rude to him).

Gordon, Ruth. "Very difficult and rather horrible."

Grace, Topher. Gay. Very nice to fans.

Graham, Heather. "Will sleep with anyone if it will advance her career." Coke user. About two cans short of a sixpack. Linked to Adam Ant, Drew Barrymore, Ed Burns, Russell Crowe, Benicio del Toro, Heath Ledger, Tobey Maguire, and James Woods.

Grammar, Kelsey. Drug and alcohol problems. Statutory rapist.

Grant, Cary. Difficult to work with. Tightwad. Played both sides of the fence. Linked with Mr. Blackwell, Dyan Cannon, Joan Crawford, Doris Duke, Howard Hughes, Barbara Hutton, Grace Kelly, Sophia Loren, Kim Novak, Ginger Rogers, Randolph Scott, and Mae West.

Grant, Hugh. General idiot and ninny; an Oxford grad but reportedly eight sandwiches short of a picnic basket. "Pompous wank." Bi_______. Has used hookers in the past. Linked with Sandra Bullock and Elizabeth Hurley.

Gray, Macy. Functioning heroin a ddict, and now back to using crack. Get your Death Pool entry for her in now; you may not have much time.

Gray, Spalding. "Is well known in the arts industry for being emotionally fragile." Reportedly unpleasant in person. Screen debut was in a hard-core porn film--as the star.

Green, Seth. "So funny, super nice and very sweet."

Gretzky, Wayne. Treats his fans very badly. Quite rud e. (Although I've since gotten e-mail from a fan of his in his hometown which would suggest the opposite--maybe he changed once he went to LA?)

Grey, Jennifer. Possible Bi____. Linked with Matthew Broderick, Johnny Depp, and George Stephanopoulos--and, if rumors are true, Madonna, Sandra Bernhard, and/or Debi Mazur.

Grieco, Richard. Conceited. Rapist. Linked with Yasmine Bleeth.

Grier, David Allan. "A total asshole on-set."

Griffin, Eddie. Cokehead. "Such a disgusting pig. Made rude sexual comments to the waitstaff."

Griffin, Merv. Closeted, but still gay as an Ungaro Spring Frock. Linked to Eva Gabor.

Griffith, Melanie. Broke up Antonio Banderas' marriage, then married h im herself. Is justifiably paranoid about her marriage to 'tonio. "A slow learner but an incredibly hard worker". Breast implants. Recovering drunk & drug addict. Homophobe. Formerly with Warren Beatty, Michael Douglas, Ed Harris, Don Johnson, and Ryan O'Neal.

Griffiths, Rachel. Hygienically challenged, and has developed a diva-like attitude since Six Feet Under became successful.

Grisham, John. Not just a bad writer (his popularity, like James Patterson's and Patricia Cornwall's, mystifies me and makes me despair of the American reading public) but a philandering lech as well.

Grohl, Dave. Linked to Winona Ryder, who he did not treat well at all and who he used to cheat on Louise Post of Veruca Salt.

Gumbel, Bryant. Prick. Difficult t o work with. Wanton philanderer and adulterer, and treated his wife horribly before and during their divorce. Doesn't like cheese.

Guttenberg, Steve. "Very personable, very nice to his fans." "Major pothead. Is stoned out of his mind almost all of the time."

Gwynne, Fred. Apparently not gay, just manic depressive and unpleasant to work with.

Gyllenhal, Maggie. Very cute, very difficult to work with.

Haas, Lukas. Messed himself up in a big way with drugs; his career might well be over now. Linked with Natalie Portman.

Hagar, Sammy. Pinhead. Likes multiple women at the same time.

Haggard, Merle. Speed freak. Pothead. Likes threesomes, and uses hookers for same. Cheats on his wife.

Hagman, Larry. Alcoholic who is drinking himself to death.

Haim, Corey. Reputed drug addict and rent-boy. Linked with Nicole Eggert and Winona Ryder.

Halford, Rob. Out and admitting it.

Hall, Deidre (from Days of Our Lives). Very closeted lesbian.

Halliwel, Geri. L______.

Hamilton, George. "A jerk toward everyone on the set except for the unemployed male friend who came to work with him every day."

Hamilton, Linda. L_____/bisexual . "Extremely nice and personable." Lin ked by marriage with James Cameron; reportedly rebounded from the failure of that marriage with a stuntwoman.

Hamlin, Harry. "Hollywood's walking sperm bank." Impregnated Ursula Andress and Claudia Cardinale without benefit or marriage. Also linked with Nicolette Sheridan.

Hancock, Herbie. The nicest, sweetest man in the music business.

Hanks, Tom. A well-meaning and nice man who can and should be forgiven for Forrest Gump--although current rumors have his star status going to his head--a shame, if so. Recovering drug addict. Knocked up his first wife in college. Reportedly took the lion's share of the profits from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. "A really big tipper, although he's a bit curt to anyone who acts remotely like a fan."

Hannah, Darryl. "A 25-watt bulb in a 100-watt so cket." "Addicted to pills and is so high-strung and emotional it is impossible to keep up with her...has been with many younger models." Hygienically c hallenged. Has a prosthetic finger/fingertip. Linked with Jackson Browne, Dodi al Fayed, John-John Kenn edy, Val Kilmer, and Mickey Rourke.

Hannigan, Alyson. (Willow on Buffy) Into three-ways. Very pleasant woman, and is very well-liked on the Buffy set. Very open, and cheerily so, about her sex life; good for you, Ms. Hannigan.

Hardaway, Penny. Reportedly gay, which was why Shaq, that lack-witted chump, demanded to be traded.

Harlin, Renny. Unpleasant man, treats his women poorly (cheats on them) and his casts and crew worse. Linked with Geena Davis and Laura Dern.

Harlow, Jean. Died too soon . Had a sad life; not treated well by her husband. Li nked with Max Baer, Clark Gable, Howard Hawks, Howard Hughes, William Powell, Bugsy Siegel, Jimmy Stewart, and Thomas Wolfe.

Harmon, Angie. Cokehead. "Stuck up bitch who browbeats her hubby."

Harrelson, Woody. Major pothead and general oddball (as well as bad poet). Father is a killer. Beats women. Self-described "sex addict;" has recently begun expanding his horizons (and his nether parts) in that area. L inked with Glenn Close, Carol Kane, Penelope Ann Miller, Ally Sheedy, Brooke Shields, and Moon Unit Zappa.

Harris, Ed. "Enjoys the company of hung black men from time to time." Substance abuse problems. Formerly with Melanie Griffith. Married to Amy Madigan.

Harris, Neil Patrick. FOD . Extremely nice to his fans.

Harris, Richard. Recovering drunkard; charming personality, though. Reportedly difficult to work with. Linked with 