Opinion

As a way of a soft reboot, The Raven Express will devote energy from all of its backlog and deliver them to the masses. It is also to make up for lost time, as well as a partial response to this letter we received prior.

Imagine Edward Snowden sharing classified secrets to the world, but does so by giving cliff notes on each one of them Bill Simmons style. This is what we are going to do.

Disclaimer: some of the information imparted herein has either gone stale (old news) or has not been fact checked for veracity (possibly fake news). Take everything with a grain of salt. As we learned on “How I Met Your Mother” and “Fight Club”, the narrator is usually unreliable.

K1 – Lost second straight War of the Kingdoms match since 100Kings (1KS) left. Kingdom dynamics rocked just before last month’s big event, can K1 thrive losing its dominant alliance yet again?

K2 – How is life without DaciaLegion (DcL)? From what I gather, it is as if DcL still exists. Also is 0-3 at War of the Kingdoms. Nothing has changed really.

K3 – Remained winless at War of the Kingdoms, is a walking punchline at this point.

K4 – Won War of the Kingdoms by gathering K7 empty.

K5 – Finally wins kingdom versus kingdom because K1 did not bother to show up. Despite that, alliances are still at odds of each other with one set to transfer to the 50s once those realms open.

K6 – A ‘ghost town’ that won its latest War of the Kingdoms pairing. Explain to me how a supposed ‘dead kingdom’ still keeps on winning, eh?

K7 – Kingdom loses at War of the Kingdom for the first time. Alliances, including the resident overlord, reportedly in mass exodus leaving K7 virtually empty. The end is nigh! lolz

K8 – Just beat K14 at War of the Kingdoms easy. [spoiler]Eclipse (ECL) shows it can play nice with its neighbors.[/spoiler]

K9 – Third of three kingdoms that has lost three War of the Kingdoms matchups. Cannot win with ECL, still fell short without them.

K10 – A pacifist kingdom that continue to bleed dry of active castles; cannot overcome a more organized K16.

K11 – A kingdom whose dynamics resemble present-day Good and Best Korea (of course, Democratic People’s Republic of Korea is best Korea. Also, DPR Korea is not democratic despite what its official name states.), all sides worked together to put down K3. Is this K11 turning a new leaf? And here we have written evidence of the two biggest alliances’ respective propaganda paraphernalia. No “Der Untergang” or “El Risitas” clips were included in these said materials. Maybe… we have not gone through all of them.

K12 – Empirical proof that one does not need a whale to win War of the Kingdoms. Either that or they were just fortunate to be drawn with war-torn K9. Also, K6 coalition (or whichever alliances came along with StormOfSwords – SvS) setting up shop after the big event concluded. Before I forget, we were approached in numerous occasions and platforms by a disgruntled transplant stating that K12’s chill atmosphere is nothing but a façade. So, there is that.

K13 – A former undefeated kingdom suffers first loss after big guns relocated to K14 just before War of the Kingdoms.

K14 – Cannot believe they lost War of the Kingdoms despite its perceived superior firepower. Harangued, I mean petitioned, the Old Gods to change the scoring of the big event due to this. NORDMANN (NOM) once again being blamed for the ills of the kingdom when, in reality, the big alliances are just looking for a fall guy to pin mistakes to.

K15 – A KvK-centric domain that unfortunately got matched up with the only teens kingdom to stay unbeaten at this point. Also, everybody does not like the resident whale, and somehow, said whale takes all verbal abuse in stride.

K16 – A kingdom that keeps its cards close to its chest despite the fact that one only needs a can opener to unleash a plethora of worms. A vexed former Diplomat from an alliance there revealed to us a plan of an undetermined quantity of alliances and castle owners planning to jump ship to K23. When we approached some of the concerned personalities involved, The Raven Express was met either with a cold shoulder or a “no comment”. One did give time to us to shed light on the issue stating that it was a red herring just to (paraphrased) “keep the kid occupied”. As it turned out, at least one alliance did transfer to K23 later on and names that appear on chat screenshots provided to us were spotted on the K23 Common Kingdom Hall. Oh, we have not even touched issues involving Athens (ONE) (or what is left of that alliance) and other guilds there. Told you there is a lot to unravel here.

K17 – There is some parallel between this kingdom and K7. Thing is, who would step up once the incumbent steps down?

K18 – All right, I get it. You are the ‘no vacancies’ kingdom. I would like to know how people were able to convince the former leading alliance that the royal decree they call “The Purge” does not work?

K19 – And they win yet again. Nothing much to see here actually. Although I have not gotten a statement regarding the transfer of Doakness to K8.

K20 – This is a kingdom that has been fortunate enough to get good matchups. Either that or they just turned things around after getting defeated in their first KvK foray.

K21 – We have not heard from our contact from this kingdom for more than a month now. All we know is that they have alliances that are potent in big events.

K22 – Can no longer recall if we have stated publicly that K22 has lost its asylum tag ever since GreatKoreanEmpire (GKE) took the keys of the kingdom, with alliances starting to leave or have completely left the former K10 clan to fend for themselves… but here it is.

K23 – This kingdom is no longer dead. Hallelujah! The slave drivers were sent away, but the masses needed at least one Daenerys-type alliance from K16 to liberate this Essos-type kingdom. What I admire, and what makes them unique, is that a third-party entity is handling the administration of its Common Kingdom Hall. Nevertheless, in-kingdom affairs are governed by the general citizenry, a breath of fresh air considering how the old guard went through concerns back in the day.

K24 – Considering they are the next best organized kingdom after K8, they still have their fair share of haters, from in-kingdom members who are overwhelmed with the bureaucracy to kingdom jumpers who do not like bureaucracy. Basically, they are the types who hate red tape. Seriously though, what is not to like with K24? They devote weekends for Lords and Ladies who would like to satiate their bloodlust; the rest of the week is for overall growth and development. Council members, meanwhile, keep themselves occupied by voting on resolutions. They have the ideal balance of controlled chaos and harmonious coexistence. K24 is the only kingdom I am aware of that managed to rein its resident rogue alliance and have them work with everyone else. Kudos to that.

K25 – Want me to state a hot, hot take that involves real-world stereotypes? Here goes: there have been three recent instances where a Korean-led alliance has taken control of a kingdom: K14, K22, K25. See anything common? Not sure if it is due to years of playing Starcraft, an RTS where diplomacy is not a factor for end-game success. Okay, I stop now before I cause World War III.

K26 – Before I went on hiatus, a bird was begging me to shed light on the goings on in this kingdom. From the scant data that I have, as of the week during September Alliance Mobilization, the kingdom joined arms to kick out the dominant alliance that is primarily based in east Asia. I would like to think this is less due to a clash in philosophy in management but more of a misunderstanding due to language barriers. Because by going with this theory, we can easily deduce why eastern Europeans are the second most ‘misunderstood’ kingdom leaders in the game. However, I do not have the statistical data to back this up, so this is a sweeping tautology that casts a wide, wide net that would most likely come up empty. Again, stopping right now before war becomes cold once more.

K27 – Nothing much to see here. Just Taiwan being number one. Maybe.

K28 – People fear meowmeow (is the castle still referred as such or has it changed identities without my knowledge?) because, you know… big, large, huge, humongous, ginormous in relation to the rest of everyone else in the kingdom. But save for that one time they went “Dracarys”, I have the impression that meow is as docile as a purring cat. Hey, meow, if you’re reading this, once you have grown tired of that kingdom, inform me so I can hook you up with someone who would be willing to accept you, warts and all. You would not need to travel far.

K29 – Not much to see here. Just harmony in the world. Speaking of HarmonyWorld (HAW), would not that be a good name for a Chinese MMORPG?

K30 – I believe in my past life someone from here have contacted us. Alas, my photographic memory betrays me right now. Also, lost to K21 in the most recent War of the Kingdoms.

K31 – I believe in my past life someone from here have contacted us. Alas, my photographic memory betrays me right now. Also, found themselves fortunate enough to get paired with a K23 that has barely gotten off the ground.

K32 – I believe in my past life someone from either of this kingdoms have contacted us. Alas, my photographic memory betrays me right now. Also, was defeated by K36.

K33 – Their battlecry: win War of the Kingdoms or bust. Also, K24 found a convert to their philosophy as K33 is looking to adopt a council-based form of government to decide on wide-ranging matters.

K34 – Lost to a kingdom that won its first War of the Kingdoms match by gathering. Shame.

K35 – What is amazing is that they won against someone almost 20 kingdoms older than them. Either that or K17 was just pathetic. Also, imagine, a late-teens kingdom is as small as mid-30s one. Sending K17 to the ICU (not the defunct K10 alliance that still shows up on the local rankings and now known as TheBrotherhood – HSE)! lolz

K36 – Can someone tell the leading alliance here to have some chill?

K37 – A semi-pacifist (read: gathering) kingdom that employed new map-wide protocols at the conclusion of War of the Kingdoms to spice things up a bit.

K38 – This is ran by a SerCalvin disciple who happens to have linkages to K24 as well. You know what that means the next time War of the Kingdoms rolls around.

K39 – Was routed badly by K40.

K40 – Handily defeated K39.

K41 – Previously a site of a budding whale, we have not been updated since our bird has gone cold on us.

K42 – You know we need the Old Gods to throw us a bone a bit when we do not have scores for two matches in last month’s War of the Kingdoms. Stop this talk of gathering being overpowered or closing down supposed ‘dead’ kingdoms. We need to know who won War of the Kingdoms!

K43 – You know we need the Old Gods to throw us a bone a bit when we do not have scores for two matches in last month’s War of the Kingdoms. Stop this talk of gathering being overpowered or closing down supposed ‘dead’ kingdoms. We need to know who won War of the Kingdoms!

K44 – Sucks that the alliances that made this their new home got hoodwinked by the relatively low kingdom strength to think they will live in blissful harmony. That is what you get when you have a laissez-faire kingdom administrator who is just looking after themselves and the only alliance willing to make an effort to unite the kingdom was shooed away like the Pied Piper.

K45 – Was victorious versus K41.

K46 – Was victorious versus K52.

K47 – You know we need the Old Gods to throw us a bone a bit when we do not have scores for two matches in last month’s War of the Kingdoms. Stop this talk of gathering being overpowered or closing down supposed ‘dead’ kingdoms. We need to know who won War of the Kingdoms!

K48 – You know we need the Old Gods to throw us a bone a bit when we do not have scores for two matches in last month’s War of the Kingdoms. Stop this talk of gathering being overpowered or closing down supposed ‘dead’ kingdoms. We need to know who won War of the Kingdoms!

K49 – 134 million points is not the smallest margin in last month’s War of the Kingdoms. However, a kingdom that held almost all big castles virtually the entire day can only muster that enough points against an uncoordinated kingdom where the two largest homegrown alliances bubbled and gathered. Or maybe they did not just put the effort since the victory was in the bag as soon as they marched to K44’s Great Cities with barely a fight. OK, some of the K44 alliances might contend that they did put up some resistance, but is it not laughable that K44 King’s Landing was under Taiwan’s (TW*) grasp for nearly 24 hours?

K50 – Won against K51.

K51 – Lost against K50.

K52 – Lost against K46. What if their whale was not recruited to go to K28, would the outcome differ?

K53 – No data.

K54 – No data.

K55 – No data.

K56 – No data except that this has been a go-to destination for alliances that want to start anew.

K57 – No data.

K58 – Notorious for housing the castle owner who leads the world ranking in kills.

K59 – No data.

K60 – No data.

K61 – No data.

K62 – No data. Or was it here where GloryStark (G1S) got their “healer” from? Cannot recall details anymore.

K63 – No data.

K64 – No data.

K65 – No data.

K66 – A budding whale who likens themselves to that Aryan (not Stark) despot who is now relegated to a video clip meme (Fegelein! *bangs on desk*) and an internet law (not Rule 34) was found lounging by their lonesome near The Wall. The power vacuum was filled up by an aggressive alliance that won the amazing race for King’s Landing and another whose figurehead is another SerCalvin disciple.

K67 – No data.

K68 – No data.

K69 – Heh.

K70 – No data. What do you expect, I was out for about three weeks?

K71 – No data. What do you expect, I was out for about three weeks?

K72 – No data. What do you expect, I was out for about three weeks?

K73 – No data. What do you expect, I was out for about three weeks?

K74 – No data. What do you expect, I was out for about three weeks?

K75 – No data. What do you expect, I was out for about three weeks?

K76 – No data. What do you expect, I was out for about three weeks?

K77 – No data. What do you expect, I was out for about three weeks?

K78 – No data. What do you expect, I was out for about three weeks?

K79 – No data. What do you expect, I was out for about three weeks?

K80 – No data. What do you expect, I was out for about three weeks?

K81 – No data. What do you expect, I was out for about three weeks?

Proof that the Old Gods should not consolidate kingdoms because the Lazarus phenomenon is real: K6, K23

“Small kingdoms” that thrive aka hands off the merchandise aka do not ever consider closing out the following kingdoms: K9, K10, K12, K20, K21

But if they do, here are our candidates for merging: K3, K7, K13, K17 (is there some form of numerology shite going on here? If that is the case, should not it be kingdoms that end with 4 would shut down first?), K22

Now that I have swiped the slate clean, let us start over.

Discuss.

As always, do remember to become a Patron of The Raven Express and be included in our Hall of Names.

Image courtesy of Victus Shao, K10.

DISCLAIMER: This is an opinion piece and does not necessarily represent the views of The Raven Express in any way, shape, or form. The views expressed on it are solely responsibility of its author.