A/N: FINALLY RIGHT? Yes, I updated after like 2 million years. Sorry for the wait, school has been rough on me and it's only the first marking period. Bleh. I've been trying to boost my grades up for the past two weeks, because I was failing multiple classes, but yay, I managed to barely pass! Of course, school is my first priority so I had to shove this fic to the back of my mind. Stay in school, kids. Don't be like me.

Time for some shoutouts: To Guest Reviewers, Susan, alex and Leelan I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS THEY MAKE MY DAY THANK YOU. To users, Mpsantiago, barondoat, YOU'RE AWESOME THANK YOU LOVE YOUR REVIEWS!

k, reviews are appreciated. love them reviews :0

and oh hey, there's fluff. whoaaa... all of the sudden right? geez!

Warning: obviously, belsa. duh.

Slap.

"Wake up, will you?"

I stared at the ground, cheek stinging like a thousand bees had just stung me.

Jack was still, looking at me with pity. I could see it through his eyes. Licking my lip, I could not hold back a chuckle. At that point, I realized how wrong I was, how crazy of a person-how broken I was. And it all started because of her.

"Am I wrong?" I questioned, stepping towards him. He wasn't the kind to back away easily, even if he was the kindest, caring brother I'd known.

He shook his head, jaw clenching together. He looked down to me, eyes just centimeters away from mine. "You're so wrong, Elsa Snow. Grandfather will be so disappointed-"

My face fell and I grabbed his collar. "Don't you dare bring Pabbie into this."

"You say that because you know he will be..." He breathed, "he's going to be so disappointed to know what an ugly person you are today..."

Jack wasn't wrong. I admit, I was oblivious, stubborn at heart, unable to change for the better. Hurting people was something I would do. And now, I couldn't even figure what would be good for me and for others.

I stayed quiet, eyes filled with hurt. Ah, but I wouldn't mind hurting myself anyway. It brought relief to know that someone... anyone would be glad to see me experience what I did to them. I couldn't help myself anymore.

He grabbed my hand and pulled it away. "Did you think... getting back to Belle will make you forget about Anna?"

Backing away, I brought my arms around my body. "Belle... she's just... she's always been there-"

"Yes, she's been there for you. So has Anna. Me. Your parents. Even Olaf who doesn't even have the fucking guts to tell you he loves you."

Finally, the first tear, of the many that I'd been holding in, was falling, lazily running down my rosy cheek. I shook, staring at the ground.

"Elsa..." He stepped toward me, reaching out for me.

"Don't!" I backed away, finally bumping against my table. "Don't touch me..."

He didn't say anything, sighing instead. "Do you love her? Belle, I mean."

I stared at him, fear and insecurity swirling around and around me. His expression didn't falter, looking at me with such determination as if he knew I'd answer him right away. I didn't.

"I... I do..." I murmured.

He didn't hesitate to question my words. "Do you?"

"...yes."

He sighed, nodding. "Alright. If Belle is who you want to be with... who can make you happier than Anna, I'll be happy for you."

I wouldn't be so sure.

I stared at him, fingers tapping on my table as I lean myself back on my seat. Olaf sat across from me, hands on his lap - he looked so serious.

Sighing, he looked down to his fidgeting fingers. "Let's talk."

I tilted my head, stopping my fingers. "If this is about..."

"Yes, this is about Miss..." He cleared his throat. "Yes, it's about Anna and we ARE going to talk about her."

I chuckled, unbelieving. "I've... never seen you like this before."

Olaf's eyes wandered and he relaxed, running his fingers through his hair. "Maybe it's because you've forgotten that we were best friends before I started working for you."

My fingers twitched, eyes darkening at his words. He was never like this. Clenching my fingers in a fist, I took a deep, silent breath through my nose and got up, turning to the windows. Staring down to the streets, it was quiet. Way too quiet.

"Elsa," He began, his tone sturdy, but I could already imagine how harsh his words would be. "I'm worried about you."

"You don't have to."

He shook his head. "Stop lying to yourself, Elsa. I know you still talk to her, but... you just... you don't sound okay."

I was never okay.

"I'm fine." I didn't turn to him, knowing that I'd look so hurtful if I did. I sighed, closing my eyes, hoping that I would regret telling him that I wasn't. That I miss her. That it just pained me to hear her talk about someone who cared and loved her that wasn't me. So...

"No, I'm... I'm not fine." My fingers shook and deep down, I knew it'd be better for me to disappear.

Olaf looked at me in pity. Was it his love for me that made him feel this way about me?

"I was wrong." I shouldn't be crying, but tears naturally flowed down my cheeks, blurring my vision. "What I did... shutting her out, it was wrong." And I was too blind to realize what the consequences were until she was long gone.

He nodded, looking down to his fingers, fiddling. "I've always thought what you were doing... perhaps the way you think... it wasn't right."

Ouch.

"But I followed you anyway. I stayed by your side." He sighed, but I didn't dare turn around to look at his pitiful, vulnerable face. "Do you even love Anna?"

Such a simple question, yet I couldn't find the words to tell him that I do. I grimaced, pressing a gentle hand on the cool glass. "I... I don't know," I whispered with much disappointment with myself. I hated myself.

Just die.

"Do you love Belle?"

And I hated the fact that I didn't know how to answer that either. Maybe Anna was right, I was only playing them like my very own toys.

"I do," I sternly answered, chuckling bitterly. "What do you know about love?"

"More than you. All you ever do is shut people out - "

Angered, I turned towards him, slamming my fist on the glass wall. "YOU DON'T GET TO SAY THAT, WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL ME YOU LOVE ME!"

I was shaking badly... vulnerable and weak, just like the little girl I used to be. But he stood his ground, clenching his jaw as he slowly got up. He wasn't in shock, maybe on the inside he was, but Olaf's eyes were filled with nothing. Just nothing. What was he feeling?

"So you knew..."

Tilting my head, I let out a laugh. "I have always known Olaf. The question is, just when were you going to tell me."

But it didn't surprise me, that he wouldn't tell me.

"I couldn't say it, because I knew you wouldn't accept me. That if I ever told you... we wouldn't be friends."

I twitched. "You're a coward."

Olaf nodded, chuckling. Whether he was doing it sarcastically or not, I wasn't sure.

"I am..." He nodded. "But I'm nothing like you. I do it so you won't lose anything, so that you'll get all the happiness you need. You've taken her happiness away. She loved you. You're the real coward here."

Coward... That was all I ever was. I couldn't face her. Maybe I was too ashamed of myself, that I couldn't even tell Anna that I was her very best friend - but she was right. We were anything but friends. Anything but a healthy relationship. It was toxic. Poison. Disease.

I wished I'd never known her.

My mouth opened and shut, nothing but pathetic whimpering slipping out. And Olaf looked at me, of disappointment and shaming in his eyes. Did everyone thought of me like this? A shameful, pathetic, weak, cold-hearted woman? A... A waste of life?

Leaning against the cold glass, my sighs grew shaky.

"Elsa."

Eyes blanked out from the horror of my disgusting self, I looked up.

"Who do you even love?"

"Anna Smith..."

"Not Belle? She'd always cared for you."

I turned my eyes away. "I do too. Olaf... what do you want?"

His lips parted into his usual gentle grin. "I want you to fix yourself... and whoever else that you've broken too." Anna? "... I want you to change."

I grimaced. "Change...? It's not that easy, Olaf."

"Ma'am..." He sighed exhaustingly, slowly getting up from his seat. "Nothing... nothing will ever be easy. And if you can't change for the better..." I blinked, listen to the rumpling of a letter as he took it out of his pocket, sliding it on my desk. I glared at the envelope. Oh but I knew full well what he was trying to do.

"Olaf—"

"Then there's absolutely nothing I can do for you, Elsa. There's no point of me being here."

Still staring at the enveloping, I held myself together tightly. I was enraged, but there was no way I could deny that I was helpless.

Sighing, he got up, patting his suit down. "Are you willing to change?" He asked. I didn't know what to tell him.

I avoided his eyes, glaring right into my soul.

"... okay." He nodded, lips pressed together into a tight grimace, eyes finally sparkling with tears. The floor sounded softly. I listened to him nearing the door. And with it creaking open slowly, my heart cracked. What choice did I have? How stubborn did I have to be? He bowed, maybe even for the last time.

"I hope you have a great day, Miss Snow."

"... Why...? Why are you leaving me too?"

He didn't hesitate, nor did he ever give me a sour expression. With his head down, he answered, "Like you with Anna, I just want what's best for you. And if leaving would force you to change," He looked up, his eyes and posture strong and sturdy. "Then so be it, Miss. Have a good day—or rather, have a good and a safe life." Olaf quickly turned his back, and finally, I made my decision. Oh how desperate and needy I was.

"Wait."

He paused, turning silently back to me. I wiped my tears, eyes finally brightening up. I regretted everything that'd happened. We stared at each other for the longest time, him waiting for an answer, me trying to make the right decision for myself. Oh but I wasn't right after all these years.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"I'll change." I gritted my teeth, enduring the desire to cry. This was for Anna, I repeated to myself. "I'll become a better person."

"Will you forgive yourself?"

My fingers twitched but I kept my head high, blue eyes strong. "Yes. I'll let the past go." But would Anna forgive me? She would never...

Olaf nodded, his expression unchanged. He was cold, but deep down, he was hurt. So badly, painfully hurt—I broke this man.

"Will you try to learn to accept yourself, to change for Anna?" He voice shimmered down quietly, softly. It was too sad.

And so did my voice. "... I'll accept myself, I'll accept Anna." The little girl that I once knew, and this stranger... this lover I once had.

Olaf nodded. "Okay..." Even so, he looked at me, with such painful looking eyes. "Okay."

Three days later

"What are you doing?" I leaned back on my chair, flicking my pen around my finger. She sat on my lap, lips pressed against my neck. I hummed, tilting my head as she grabbed my collar. "I… have work…" I whispered, taking her waist in my hand.

"I don't care…" she breathed. "Pay attention to me too, will you, baby girl?"

Belle pulled back, fingers fiddling with my collar. How could I resist her? I grinned, my heart racing. "I… pay attention," I replied, eyes roaming up and down her body. She had nothing but her underwear on. "Now, why aren't you wearing clothes?"

"It's late," she grinned and I let her undo my braid, fingers running between each strands. I purred with delight. "Almost midnight, Elsa. We should sleep."

"Mm… corporate business…"

"You can do that tomorrow."

Taking a moment to think, blue eyes meeting hers, I knew there was no way I could argue with her. "So…" Sliding my fingers up her back, she shivered, jerking her back from my fingers. Ah, she was sensitive… I grabbed the clasp of her bra. "Sleep?"

"Maybe…" She husked, eyes closed from the wonderful sensation. "We should do something that's so much better than sleep…"

Ah, this was fun. "Like what?"

"Like…" She grabbed my jaw and my wrist, putting me in place. I could not help but hitch my breath in fear, seeing her eyes glaring right at me this time. How could she change that fast? It was wonderful, really. "Bringing me to bed…" She licked her lip, and I noticed her already unbuttoning my shirt. "Doing… stuff." I didn't have the need to stop her—I knew what she wanted and oh, how much she wanted it. I grinned wickedly.

"Stuff…?" I grabbed her wrists, stopping, as she was just half way through from undoing my clothes.

"Fuck me?"

That's it.

"Gladly, my mistress." Quickly, I grabbed her ass, getting up. She giggled, legs wrapped around my hip. I sat her down my lap as I situated myself on my bed. My heart raced, lips red as I chewed on it with anticipation. Staring at hers, I managed to get her to stretch out a wonderful smile.

I caressed her beautiful round bottom, loving the sound of the hums she was making. "So… how…?" I breathed, slowly leaning in to her lips. She grabbed my collar, immediately, pressing my lips against hers. Oh she was hungry, but I didn't mind.

Chills ran down my spine and instinctively, I flipped her over to her back. It was thrilling, feeling her tongue against mine, lips spreading warmth throughout my body.

"Mm… Elsa…" she breathed, hands on my chest and she pushed me away.

"What…?" I murmured. And right now, I could only see her lips coated with saliva, her eyes looking at me sensually. I couldn't resist but to lean in against her lips once more. Belle was grinning, hurriedly wrapping her arms around me, hips thrusting up. I smirked, quickly getting her wrists off of me.

"Oh no, babe…" I whispered, brushing my lips against hers. She looked at me, rolling her eyes as if she knew what was up.

I tilted my head. "You did say I could fuck you." I leaned in, pressing my lips close to her ears. It quickly grew hot and god, the way she squirmed, fingers curled into a tight fist. She was irresistible. I was in control.

Belle chuckled. "I never said I couldn't touch. What happened to rules?"

Shrugging, I leaned in, nose against her neck. God she smelled wonderful. "Well… would you mind…?"

"I do mind."

Looking up at her, I gave her a frightening glare, quickly grabbing her jaw. She didn't flinch. How did she do it?

Before she could even say anything else, I pressed my lips against hers. She groaned, tongue wrapped around mine. The air was hot, my skin burning against hers and she wrapped her legs around my body. My shirt was quickly undone, her fingers frantically searching for something to hold.

"Fuck… Elsa…" she moaned, letting my palms drifting down to her back, lips pressed against her neck. Chills ran down my spine, feeling her fingers between my hair and I could not help but sighing in pleasure, laying my body against her warmth.

Ah, it was heaven.

Pulling back, her eyes begging me to touch her more—I needed her just as much.

"I want you," lips mouthing longing words. I leaned towards her palm, kissing her palm warmly.

"Belle…" I whispered against her. What has she done to me? She was intoxicating.

Slowly, I laid my body down against hers, arms hugging her tightly. Belle moaned, stomach raised up to mine as I laid my tongue against her skin. God, how sweet she tasted, how wonderfully heated her skin was from the touch of my fingertips. And she shuddered, eyes closed in pleasure.

"G-God…" she repeated, over and over again, my teeth scrapping her reddened neck. I wanted that taste of hers. More. I closed my jaw, teeth bruising her, red. Ah, I was feeling flushed suddenly as she grabbed my hair, pulling me away from her heated skin. I blinked, astonished. She smirked, humming as she tilted my head up with a short, sturdy tug.

"What are you—"

Within the blink of an eye, I ended up below her, legs between my hip as she sat on me. She smirked, tilting her head. "I changed my mind." Fucking hell.

As much as I wanted to give her a grimacing expression, I would not dare. Her eyes were cold, and I felt as if I was her slave—that I was hers, and only hers. My body shuddered, whimpers escaping. Oh her fingers, gliding softly down my stomach. I had not have enough of her yet.

The pleasure of her touch overwhelmed me, and finally, I rolled my eyes back. "Belle…" I called her. She leaned in, kissing my lip. God her tongue… I wasn't prepared, feeling her softly exploring me inside out. This was the Belle I knew.

Quickly, like a starved animal, I grabbed the back of her neck, her lip between my teeth. Moans finally filled the air and—

My computer screen turned on. Slowly we pulled away, groaning not from pleasure, but out of frustration.

Staring at it, it was a skype call.

Ah, immediately, I knew who was disrupting us from our lovemaking—well, fucking, perhaps.

She looked at me, eyebrows raised. "Really, again?"

I chuckled, fingers running through her hair. I pecked her lips. "Twice a week, remember? Monday and Wednesday."

She rolled her eyes, but I couldn't help but respond with a shrug. Groaning, she got off of me. God what a lovely girlfriend I had. "Well, you better hurry it up. You know I'm not that patient."

Nodding, I kissed her chest. "I promise, I'll be quick. Maybe… you'd prefer, you know, doing it by yourself until then?"

Belle smirked, throwing my shirt from the floor to me. "Maybe. I'll see you later." With one last kiss, she turned to the door and disappeared to the living room or wherever else she was heading to.

There wasn't much time left until… well, Anna hang up. I smiled gently as I got myself tidied up—honestly, I shouldn't be too happy. And I wasn't at all. It was painful.

I sat in my chair, staring at the screen. Where were my guts? My hand was shaking as I clicked on the green button, Anna quickly popping up in the screen. My grin quickly faltered.

She looked exhausted. Hands in her hair, head down and eyes shut, in a dark room—bedroom perhaps? Did she notice me? I stared at her for a few seconds. What should I say? What could I do? Looking at her, I realized how depressed she was. "Anna." Suddenly she jerked up, staring into the screen. I changed her—no, I broke her. But what could I ever do to fix that?

"Yes, what?!" she shouted.

This wasn't her at all. Slowly she regained her composure, getting back to her normal self. "Hey, Snowflake," she grinned, shoulders slouching down. "Did… Did I call at a bad time?" She looked down to my body, shirt completely unbuttoned.

Looking down with her, my eyes widened and I quickly covered myself up. I was ashamed—too ashamed to look at her.

"I'm… I'm sorry," I murmured. "That was…"

She shook her head, chuckling. How could she laugh at a time like this? We'd broken up. Of course, I'd hurt her plenty of times, who wouldn't laugh at the absurdity now? "It's fine. Really. I mean, how are you?"

I didn't answer her, for we knew how obvious the answer was. I grinned tightly to her.

I promised I'd change.

"It's that obvious, isn't it?" I questioned, looking straight into her eyes. They were empty. Did I do this too?

Anna nodded with acceptance. "Yeah, it is."

We didn't talk, our eyes forming words to each other instead. We were hurt, heartbroken—we couldn't help ourselves. Her eyes were dark, shadows forming. I wondered if she'd actually slept at all. I found it hard to ask her if she did.

"Have you…" she started, ending this sad, sad, silence. I blinked, grinning slightly—well, trying to smile, at least. "Have you eaten?"

I nodded.

"Not stressing yourself at all?"

"No, not at all." Maybe stressing about you. She grinned, looking relieved.

"Had a good night sleep?"

I nodded again.. How could I lie after all I'd done to her—to myself too? I turned away.

She glared at the screen. "You didn't…?" What could I say so she wouldn't scream—blame herself, perhaps?

Sighing, I looked down to my lap, leaning back on my seat. I ran my fingers through my fringes slowly. "I… try to. It really is not a big deal."

Anna looked at me, shaking her head slightly, as if she didn't believe me. I wouldn't blame her. She chuckled, a hand running across her neck. "Why?" she questioned. Why do you care? I was silent, eyes darkening with a hint of shame. I should've seen this coming.

When I couldn't answer, she only let out another sigh. "Never mind. Let's talk about something else. You and Belle…?"

"We're a thing."

"I hope you're not using her as a plaything either…" she mumbled, I could barely hear her. I frowned, goosebumps covering my skin. The air was dense, yet looking at her was the only reason why, it was hard to breathe. Her words… I knew what she said.

Hurt me all you wants, I'll take it.

"Anna…?"

"Nothing. It's… good to be back with someone you used to be with, right?"

I nodded, smiling tightly as she did too. "You and Hans are…"

"We're dating."

There was that silence again as if we were just having this moment to let the words sink in. As if we were afraid to be bold to one another, say what we had to say. No, we just didn't want to hurt each other again. "I looked down... Frustrated with myself, my body feeling heavy and pained, as if a thousand needles just punctured me. Was this punishment for what I'd done to Anna?"

"You… Thank you," she said. I froze, looking at her.

"Excuse me?"

"Thank you for wanting to protect me from being hurtful for all these years. But you know, Elsa… Snowflake, it—"

"It wasn't necessary."

She nodded. "Yeah." That's what I thought.

I looked away. "I know," I replied, voice rasps and soft. "I've been wrong the whole time. I've made mistakes…" It was all for the sake of her. "I was…"

"You're a coward, Elsa." She looked at me, sympathetically. But that's okay, she could blame me as much as she wanted to. I'd done her harm, and I wanted nothing more than for her to do the same to me. I turned back to her, eyes full of sorrow. She pitied me.

How selfish could I ever get? The level of stupidity in me was impossibly high.

"You're mad."

Shaking her head no, she answered, "No, I'm… I'm sad. Sad that you would do this to me. Sad that… how that little girl with the violin turned into someone like this. What could possibly make someone change so drastically?"

No, I didn't need to say it. She knew who changed me so much.

Anna leaned back in her seat, unable to believe that the person that she was talking to couldn't answer such a simple question. I'd lost feeling of everything, numbing myself from what I felt for her.

"It's me," she began.

"It has always been you." I looked straight into her eyes.

We were quiet for a few seconds, minutes, perhaps. We couldn't figure that out, for we were getting so lost into each other. But was it for love? Pity? No, I assumed our stares were full of hatred, anger, anything but love.

Before she could even open her mouth again, a knock sounded in her room and the door opened.

"Hey babe, I'm home. What are you doing?"

She turned, looking surprised as I was too. "Hans…" I whispered to myself. We stared at each other, smiling awkwardly.

"Just a minute," she whispered, slowly turning to his boyfriend.

Boyfriend… I looked the two, my heart pounding. It hurt, yet I wasn't able to cry. Was I too shocked... Ah, maybe this was how Anna felt about me all this time. How could I not notice something so straightforward?

"Oh Hans! You're home early," Anna grinned, watching Hans throw his bag on the ground, hugging his girl. Why couldn't I turn away? My eyes blurred with unshed tears, yet I could clearly see the two.

Hans groaned, letting Anna pat his head, fingers running through his hair. "Meeting was cancelled, until tomorrow. God, I have a lot of work to do too…" He slowly pulled away from the hug, looking at her. His smile was warm, filled with love, care, comfort, anything that Anna wouldn't find in me.

I despised him , however - I was glad that he could make Anna happy.

"I'm so glad I get to see you or else, I'd break…" he whispered, eyes on her lips. He caressed her soft cheek with care. I gulped, unable to pull myself away from the screen, shut it off—no, of course I couldn't. I'd be shutting Anna out again, and that would mean, I couldn't learn how to accept myself.

And slowly, with Anna holding his hand, they pressed their lips together. I quickly shut my eyes, a hand running through my fringes. Unable to speak, I let out a whimper of pain and regret. Hopefully, she couldn't hear it. But whether she could see the tears, I wouldn't care.

I'm suffering.

I wiped my tears completely and hurriedly, forcing out a grin as they pull away.

Hans noticed me, his grin of love quickly faltering. "Elsa…"

Nodding to him, I gave him my thank you silently. "Hans."

"Um…" Not knowing what to say, he turned to Anna. "I'll… be in the kitchen to get some food. Continue talking alright?" He quickly pecked her again and waves of hurt crashed into my heart.

"Yeah, wait, there's leftovers in the fridge, you should heat it up."

"Don't worry! I got it. Just keep talking, alright?" He sighed, looking at her sadly. "You'll need it."

Anna didn't say anything, but he didn't expect her to. She turned back to me, looking down to her hands. "So… where were we?" She looked at me, frowning slightly. Had she noticed?

"How's your mother?"

"I don't want to talk about her."

Right. I nodded, looking down. "She's your mother, Anna—"

"She kept this from me too, Elsa. My parents, my cousin… I love them, but… what's the point…? Why shut me out?" She was horrified, yet I couldn't do anything about it. Even for someone like me, I felt the same way as she did.

Sighing, I decided to change to a better topic. I grinned, eyes slowly brightening up by a bit. "So how's going back—"

"Elsa, are you done yet?"

I turned, my eyes quickly meeting with Belle's chest. How could I not notice how near she was? I looked up, seeing the playfulness in her eyes. "Almost," I murmured, but her eyes were towards Anna. I wouldn't want to know how she looked at this moment. How torn she'd be.

Turning my head slightly, Anna looked nothing like she did a moment before. She was strong. "Anna Smith…"

"Belle…"

I closed my eyes. I couldn't take this any longer. The brunette turned back to me, a hand on my shoulder. "I want to talk to her for a second, is that okay?"

Oh, but what could I say? I assumed everything would work out—Belle wanted to mend our relationship together after breaking us apart. Nodding, I got up, offering my seat. "Be quick, babe."

She giggled, kissing my lips. "Always."

But it didn't take too long, as I had some liquor courage outside, while they talked. But no matter what they were talking about, no matter how hurtful their words were, they seemed to be able to get along. Anna… I was worried about her.

10 minutes in and I was back in my room with soft lips pressed on mine quickly. She was gone without a word.

Finally, I was alone with Anna again. Had she been crying? I frowned, looking at the redden eyes of hers.

"Anna, what did she…"

She shook her head, hands in her hair. "Don't…"

That was unacceptable. "I'll go talk to her—"

"N-No! It's… I… I'm just…" She took a deep breath, wiping her tears. "I'm just glad… that she was able to accept me." She grinned, tears still streaming down her rosy, freckled cheeks. With a smile like that, I couldn't help but be relieved. "Last time we met… she blamed me for the person you are now… Am I to be blamed Elsa?"

Yes.

"No."

"I… I hurt your shoulder."

"I did it to myself."

"You saved me."

"I had a choice, to not do it. Perhaps, I didn't want to leave my friend to suffer. You didn't have to suffer more than just amnesia, Anna."

She started whimpering, covering her face with her hands. I grinned, slowly gliding my fingers on my screen. I wanted to wipe her tears, yet I was crying too. What a silly girl, she should be happy.

Taking a deep breath, she looked at me once more. "I've scarred you… for 15 years, you've been having all these nightmares about…. W-who? Me?"

"That's okay. That little girl isn't you anymore."

Anna started crying harder. I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, swiping my thumb on her as if I was touching her.

"Silly, don't cry. I never blamed you, I only have myself to blame for keeping all this from you."

"Y-You're not going to blame me?"

I shook my head. "How could I? I can't do that to the girl I loved most for many years."

She sniffled, wiping her tears with her sleeves. I'd never seen her smile this big before. Her expression was so radiant, overshadowing the tiredness in her eyes. It brightened me up, my heart feeling a bit lighter.

"I... I'm sorry…" she whispered.

"I'm sorry too, Anna." But was I able to accept myself? Did I change? I wondered.

She nodded, biting her lip, hiding her smile. Oh, but I loved seeing her filled with joy. Perhaps she was too embarrassed for the excitement she had stored in her. I couldn't be happier for her.

"So… how's New York?"

For a few minutes we continued our small talk. She'd been laughing, going on and on about the dogs—was it cats?—that she wanted to get with Hans. I listened for most of the time, adding commentary every now and then. Just seeing her ramble off with whatever was enough for me anyway.

"It's getting late, isn't it?" she said, seeing me cover up my yawn.

Shaking my head, I chuckled. "No, please, you should keep telling me about your cousin's wedding. Rapunzel, was it?"

Anna nodded. "Sorry, maybe you found it boring?"

Oh god, no. I widened my eyes. "Of course not, it's just…"

"You're tired."

I tilted my head. "You know me well."

"I've dated you for a few months, Miss Snow. It was obvious, you know?" She sighed, and reached out for me, a hand on her screen. "I miss you, Snowflake."

My fingers glide on the screen as if it was her cheek. She grew skinnier… What had she been doing? No, I knew. She'd been crying… unable to have an appetite, unable to have any sort of contact without getting angry with someone. At least, Hans was there for her.

"I miss you too, Anna…"

We stayed like this as if we didn't want to go. But of course, we did. This was as close as we could get to each other. She looked too beautiful, too broken. I needed to mend her back and this… this wasn't the way to do it. I wanted to hold her tight, tell her everything was alright.

This was never the way.

"You should go," she whispered, her hand on mine.

"I know."

"You have work tomorrow, don't stress yourself. Eat properly, take your medication, please."

Just like Belle…

I nodded. "I promise, I will."

With that she grinned. "Alright. Well, sleep well, Snowflake."

"You too, don't be bothered by what we talked about, please."

"Of course I won't. I'll talk to you later, alright?"

I didn't want to leave, but… We could always call each other. And no matter how busy I was, she was always worth my time. "I'll catch you later."

"Yeah… I love—" She stopped herself, and I gulped, looking at her. God, we were just… too… too sad. We were too desperate for love—for each other. How could we possibly forget about each other? I looked down, smiling sadly.

"Good night, Anna."

But was it love between us? Or was it just the idea of it? Love… we just couldn't understand it.

"Yeah… good night."

There's only a few more chapters left... :o