Step 1: Go shopping.

Step 2: Cut lardons to size.

Step 3: Fry them up.

Until they’re brown.

Keep the grease.

Step 4: Season the coq (in this case chicken).

Fry it in small batches

When done you should have this.

Step 5: Fry the pearl onions until browned.

Step 6: Fry up the mushrooms.

Step 7: Deglaze your pan.

Step 8: Line your dutch oven with veg.

Step 9: Place chicken and fond from deglazing in the dutch oven.

Step 10: Add stock and tomato paste.

Step 11: Take a few swigs for yourself, then add the wine.

Step 12:

You should have something that looks like this.

Put a lid on it and place it in your fridge overnight. Along with the mushrooms, lardons and onions.

Step 13: Put it in the oven.

Step 14: Remove the vegetables. Don’t eat them, they taste like shit.

Step 15: Remove the chicken and keep it warm.

Step 16: Add the lardons, onions and mushrooms to the remaining liquid, reduce by 2/3 to create a sauce.

Step 17: Plate and serve your exercise in culinary masturbation.