In a bizarre plot twist, not usually seen in animated comedies, a main cast member of Family Guy is set to be killed off. Prior to the premiere of the show’s twelfth season last Sunday on Fox, showrunners confirmed the demise of one of the Griffins in the new season in an episode guest starring Ashton Kutcher, in a spoof of CBS’ Two and a Half Men. I imagine this stunt is to generate interest in an increasingly repetitive cartoon stifled by the Simpsons monopolising storylines – it’s worked, this will be the first and likely last thing I write about the show. So, as I impatiently wait for my 100,000th view, we’ll run down the candidates for animated demise because while I’m obsessed with view counting, I can’t write anything requiring any real thought.

Lois Griffin

We’ll start with nasal housewife, Lois. She wouldn’t be that tragic a loss for the show. Sure, she’s needed to be a counteractive force to Peter’s silliness but she’s easily replaced. The voice actor, Alex Borstein also plays several other characters so it wouldn’t require a massive cast change should Lois be the one to bite the dust. It would even make sense to make Stewie her killer given his disdain for her that has subsided in recent years. That being said, there really is no reason for Lois to die and wouldn’t really provide the shake-up the producers are alluding to.

VERDICT: SAFE

Peter Griffin

Then there’s the possibility of protagonist Peter being the one to die. In contrast to his flame-haired wife, it would certainly provide the shake-up the producers want but let’s be honest, the show would also die – in fact, the very concept of it would no longer make any sense. The only way Peter will end up dead is if he is resurrected without explanation in the very next episode, which is definitely a possibility.

VERDICT: SAFE

Stewie Griffin

Arguably, the show’s second most popular character. To put it plainly, there is no chance that Stewie will be killed off. I’ll actually go on the record and say that he is the least likely to bite the dust. His camp evilness is used time and time again to give viewers a break from Peter’s sometimes tiresome nonsense. Again, in the off chance that the producers do kill Stewie, he’ll be back almost imminently.

VERDICT: SAFE

Brian Griffin

What about Brian, Stewie’s partner in crime? He’s certainly not the funniest character in the show, in fact he’s a bit of a douche at times. There’s actually a decent case to argue that Brian will have his coup de grace in season twelve. For example, he’s a blooming dog, dogs do not live this long. He certainly wouldn’t be that missed and I’m sure Seth MacFarlane wouldn’t mind voicing just two of the six main characters instead of three. Brian the dog may have had his day.

VERDICT: IN DANGER

Meg Griffin

Then there’s black sheep, Meg, voiced by the beautiful and frankly fucking cool, Mila Kunis. I honestly don’t think killing Meg off is a good idea from a creative perspective, sure she’s not necessarily popular (well I really like her), but the fact that she is such a reject within her own family has provided joke after joke over the last eleven seasons. The reason why she might be bumped off is the increasingly high demand of Kunis herself, who has outgrown the show in recent years, and with Ashton Kutcher (her current boyfriend) set to guest star, the signs don’t like great for Meg.

VERDICT: IN DANGER

Chris Griffin

Lastly, is my least favourite Griffin, Chris. I don’t favour the others because he embarrasses my name but simply because I think he’s the most disposable. His usage has decreased in recent years and doesn’t hold a strong tie to any of the other family members. Peter has Lois, Stewie has Brian and Meg is Meg. It’s also worth noting that Seth Green, Chris’ portrayer, has just landed a starring role on a new sitcom, Dads. He’s also the only character to not have a previewed storyline for the anticipated Simpsons crossover. It’s not looking good for Peter and Lois’ eldest son and if I had to commit to just one name, I’d say Chris’ time is up.

VERDICT: IN DANGER

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