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You must have a heart of stone not to burst into uncontrollable, hysterical laughter at the agony of the failing New York Times and the rest of the media over how conservative activists are going to apply the same internet colonoscopy to lib journalistas as they apply to us.

Monsters!

Fascists!

Meanies!

Oh yeah, that’s the ticket.

Drink in their pain.

Drink it all in.

Mmmmm, that’s some delicious pain.

Yeah, conservatives are fighting back, and to the other side it’s an assault on the free press and further evidence that Trump is totally Hitler and probably Stalin too. But to us, it’s long-overdue counterpunching right into the progs’ soft gut. (Note: The author knows some of the conservatives allegedly involved, but was not involved in this glorious initiative).

This is righteous retribution, and the screaming and hollering about it is further evidence that there’s plenty of dirt to dig up.

Welcome to Accountability City. Population: All you liberal media jerks.

For years, these pompous hacks have clobbered ordinary folks whose only “crime” is making fun of Obama at a rodeo, or making a funny meme about liberals, or understanding that there are only two genders. They pored over the social media accounts of lesser mortals, highlighting thought crimes and sometimes thoughtlessness with malignant glee. They tried to teach us rubes the lesson that disobedience and defiance bring cancellation. They took normal people and hauled them up onto the Aztec altar of human sacrifice to have their beating hearts cut out to appease the demon demi-gods of wokeness.

Take that, grandmother who likes Trump on Facebook.

Take that, random congressional staffer who gets snarky about the Obama girls’ partying.

Take that, restaurant that supports candidates the Santa Monica swells dislike.

Take that, kid who stands there while some Frigidaireborne ranger veteran of Dick Blumenthal’s platoon in ‘Nam channels Elizabeth Warren by pounding a drum.

And now these media cretins are stunned – stunned, I say – at the fact that these new rules they created are going to be applied as a suppository of justice right back at ‘em.

“This is terrible!” they fume, outraged that the very same standard of transparency that they wish to apply to their enemies is getting applied to them, too. It’s vitally important that the preferences and positions of ordinary citizens can be publicly exposed so liberal bully boyz and bully girlz and non-gender conforming bullyz can harass, assault and intimidate their victims into submission.

Yet, it’s also vitally important that the racist, homophobic and otherwise obnoxious ravings of our alleged betters remain hidden because…

Because…

Well, just because.

You know, there’s an undeniable satisfaction to be had from Alinskying these weasels, in taking the New Rules they pioneered and ramming them down these lefty punks’ collective collectivist throat. After all, we’ve been warning them for years that the idea of a two-track system of social accountability – one where there’s one set of rules for the elite and another for us Normals – is totally unsustainable. But to point out that these are new rules is almost beside the point.

To our elite, there are no rules, at least not for them. The concept of rules is simply inapplicable to them. There are rules for us Normals – how else would they be able to hold onto their prestige, power and sinecures if not for a complex web of formal and informal social regulations designed to keep us in thrall and leave them unaccountable for their myriad failures? No, there are no rules for them. Rules are limitations. Rules create obstacles. Rules limit the ability to do as one pleases. The will of the elite is justification enough; rules are actually immoral when applied to our betters because rules might foil our betters from fully exercising their better natures to Normals’ disadvantage.

Except we’re not playing that.

Not anymore.

What’s notable about the fallout from this revelation is how few conservatives wimped out with the kind of Fredocon bleating about how this is not who we are and we’re better than that. Even formerly squishy conservatives are no longer being sissies about getting their hands dirty pummeling leftist jerks in the public arena. Sure, some of the Ahoy Boyz on Joe Walsh’s campaign team probably fussed about it, but no one reads their crappy cruise brochure so how would we know? The rest of conservatism is unified through the magic of hysterical laughter.

Conservative wokeness is spreading.

See, the media’s “But we’re a bunch of neutral truthtellers dedicated to the truth and to telling it!” act just got to be too much. You can’t have all the respect and deference an objective news monk might deserve yet still get to act like an active partisan. Dinner is not all dessert – you gotta eat your vegetables, too, and the broccoli is you not inserting your personal opinions into the news. The ice cream sundae is you being respected as unbiased. You gotta gobble your veggies, but they don’t want to.

The NYT’s leaked transcript from a few weeks ago wrecked any chance of anyone falling for their “All The News That’s Fit To Print” baloney again – when the scribblers are hassling their editor because the paper isn’t calling Trump “racist” often enough, you’ve Old Yeller’d objectivity. When you openly plan to replace American history with a garbage narrative designed to undermine the moral foundation of its citizenry’s right to self-government in order to solidify your own caste’s hold on power, you’ve chosen a side in the Octagon, so don’t be shocked if someone figuratively busts a chair over your skull.

Oh well.

You media hacks chose a side, and now you’re going to be treated like anyone else who chose a side. Sometimes, it hurts. The thing is, we conservatives are used to it. We can take it. But you’re not. You’re soft, and weak, and when you get hit it’s going to hurt bad.

Too bad.

Your suffering shall be glorious.

Our mainstream media is garbage and if you want to read a vivid account of what happens if the left establishes the dictatorship our media dreams of in the ruins of the blue states, check out my action-packed yet hilarious novels, People's Republic, Indian Country and Wildfire. After liberals become unbearable, the United States splits into red and blue countries and antics ensue. The Never Trump losers hate my books and tried to label them “Appalling,” so you know they’re good!