Last year was my last year of high school, and I know it’s generally supposed to suck but it SUCKED. This is going to be a rant post about everything that my school did wrong. Actually, it’ll only be a couple of things because there were too many things. The school I went to had a very high academic standard and my smart ass sister managed to get in, and since I’m a sibling, I also got in. In primary school I was in a group of five. 2 of them went to one school, and the other two went to another so I was well aware that I would be alone. I was very insecure at this point because it was the start of my emetophobia and I was emotionally all over the place and didn’t want to have to make new friends. Inevitably I did, but the school still sucked, just as I’d thought.

So, I was one of those kids that had ‘Special Provisions’ where school is supposedly made easier by having extensions on assignments and having your own room during exams and stuff like that. They managed to screw it up though and it became twice as stressful.I was in a very tight drama class. Everyone loved each other but I was (still am) having serious issues with thinking people hate me. We had a major performance that was our exam but there weren’t enough roles for everyone to act. I poured my heart into it but didn’t get a role. Naturally, I started freaking out because those without a role had to do something backstage (sound, lighting etc) and their exam was a presentation describing what they did and why. I was put onto sound and I didn’t want to be graded on something I’d literally never done. I got onto it though. Now A FEW WEEKS LATER, my teacher had forgotten that there was an option to do a monologue. I was the only one to pick that option, but due to the tightness of the class, I felt obliged to continue the sound. After a few more weeks I started to fall behind and admitted that I couldn’t do the sound. I didn’t just leave though. I know a guy. He’d done sound for previous performances so I asked if he was interested in doing it and he said sure so I gave him a FULL folder of my ideas and told him when to go and whatnot but he never showed. This left everyone in the class thinking I’d ditched them and they started talking on Facebook behind my back. They said some really hurtful things and it made me feel so bad. I’m tearing up just thinking about it. Drama kids can obviously get really intense so I individually apologised to every one of them and they said it was all good and whatnot. I’ll never forget the one girl that said she felt really bad for me despite what everyone else was saying. Shout out to you, you know who you are and I love you for that. Long story short, I skipped class for the rest of the term ‘to work on my monologue’ and filmed it and sent it off. I can’t even remember what grade I got and quite frankly, even an A wouldn’t have been worth everything I went through that year in drama.

There was also the time during a year level assembly. There were about 12 year 12 classes and the leader of each one got up to say thank you to their teacher. Our leader wasn’t there, and the main teacher guy can’t even remember his role) had the shits with me (again, can’t remember why) and he slowly takes the microphone and starts walking into the crowd up the stairs. I was sitting at the room on the highest chairs and he kept walking very slowly looking around suspiciously and no one knows what this is building up too, anyways it probably only lasted 10 seconds but it felt like an eternity and he gets to me. Stops. Turns. And that absolute A S S H O L E gave me the goddamn microphone. Remember how I said I was very insecure about how people felt about me? Yeah, THIS DIDN’T HELP. I took the microphone and looked forward to see literally hundreds of faces staring at me in anticipation. In this moment, the first thing that comes to my head is “thank you Mr. insertnamehere for being a teacher.” and so I obviously thought it would be a good idea to say it. I stared at the ceiling forcing the tears that were stinging my eyes back in. I felt my hands shaking, my face turning as red as a tomato, and beads of sweat hitting my head. I gave the microphone back and slid so far down in my seat that my head was popping out of shoes. People still mock me about it. The worst part is that my teacher wasn’t there to see it. (Also this may have been the end of year 11 but oh well it still sucked)

Finally, it was my second last exam which was for psychology and I got to school feeling pumped and confident. I took my seat in my own room for special provisions which makes it so much easier. Just as it’s about to start the year level leader walks past and goes “Oh Larne, you’re in here? Why’s that you don’t have special provisions” and I just go “wat”. I bloody well do. Apparently, the memo hadn’t got to the important people and I was listed as being in the room with everyone else. At this point if I’d gone in with them I would’ve had to take the only seats left right at the front which I hate because everyone can see me. So, naturally, I start the waterworks. I’m crying and so the teachers are all nononono we’ll figure something out. They put me in the room with the other girl with special provisions. The provisions are that we have our own rooms, so she was also disadvantaged. The exam got underway but I was distracted by the whole situation and whether it would happen the next day in my last exam. 55 minutes went by and I saw on the board that there was five minutes left, and I’d just started my extended response so I had to write like a madwoman but thought logically, and realised something was wrong. THE EXAM WAS TWO HOURS. I’D RUSHED FOR NOTHING.

Long story short, I barely passed year 12 and I hate everything and everyone now.

Rant over, Bye

Larne