Attractiveness and Online Dating Photos: A Look at OkCupid’s Data

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I’ve had a hankering to analyze another one of OkCupid’s studies. The one we’ll talk about today looks at the attractiveness of one’s online dating photo. Along with all the other data they collect, OkCupid allows users to rate other users’ photos in terms of attractiveness. We all know that more attractive people get more attention online, just as they typically do offline. But haven’t you ever wondered just how much more action good-looking people get online and whether or not there are differences in how men and women rate and respond to others’ photos?

OkCupid’s analysts took a good look at these questions and found, as usual, some very interesting results.

The Men

Starting with the men, take a good look at this graph, borrowed from the original OkCupid article:

What’s interesting here is that men’s rating of women’s attractiveness approached normal, where most ratings fell into the average/medium range, and far fewer ratings fell into the least and most attractive range. This is what we would expect in the population – where there are fewer very attractive or unattractive people and far more “average” people.

However, what’s interesting is the messaging line in this graph. Men send most of their messages to the most attractive women. According to OkCupid, 2/3 of messages from men go to the top 1/3 of women (in terms of photo attractiveness).

The Women

When we look at the graph for women (also borrowed from the original OkCupid article), we see a whole different pattern:

What does this chart tell us? One, it shows us that women are far more critical when appraising men’s photos – the curve’s peak is skewed far to the left, indicating that women are rating few men as average/medium and almost no men as really attractive. Two, it shows us that despite these critical ratings, the majority of women’s messages go to men in the “below average” attractiveness range.

In other words:

Men are more generous in their attractiveness ratings, but far less generous in who they actually email

Women are far less generous in their attractiveness ratings, but more generous in who they actually email

Moreover:

The most attractive men got 11x the messages as the least attractive men

The most attractive women got 25x the messages as the least attractive women

Some people will use these data as an excuse to talk about how dumb online dating is, how shallow people are, or, worse, to selectively pick on one sex or the other. I don’t recommend any of those courses of action, as they don’t benefit you at all. As I discuss in Changing Your Game and Find The Love of Your Life Online, online dating is tough, humans are imperfect, and both men and women have their dating challenges. The sooner you come to realize this, the easier it gets.

Instead, use these data as a learning tool that can give you an edge when dating online. For example, these data tell me several useful things:

One, men are more easily drawn in by a photo than women are. This means women should take the time to create a quality photo and avoid posting some crap pic from their old phone. It also means that men should be cautious in who they email – the hottest women are going to have tons of other suitors and, let’s face it, her looks aren’t going to be enough to retain your interest anyway. Why waste your time on the hottest women when there are tons of normal attractive women getting far fewer emails?

Moreover, the low ratings women gave men’s photos reflect that photos aren’t often enough to interest them, which means men should focus on having a good write-up and good email technique in order to generate a woman’s interest. Women should also understand that, often, they won’t feel “chemistry” with a guy until they’ve had a couple of dates with him, and shouldn’t rule out men too soon.

Check out the original OkCupid article, entitled “Your Looks and Your Inbox“. Tell me: what do you all think of these results? Did anything surprise you?

Useful Links

Christie’s books

OkCupid’s “OkTrends” site