In the off-chance you don’t know what a “Cleveland Steamer” is slang for on the street, just Google it. It’s a sex act so depraved that I can’t bring myself to type a description of it this early in the morning (I haven’t had my coffee yet for the love of God!). With that said, if you happen to live in the Cleveland, Ohio metropolitan area, Living Social has got quite a deal to offer you today.

If you’re looking to romance that special someone, forget about spa treatments and up-market dinner dates in Tremont (save that for tomorrow’s deal). Steam it up courtesy of today’s offer from Cleveland Steamer with an eco-friendly carpet cleaning and deodorization for three areas (up to 900 square feet) for $69 (regularly $180). Your beau will swoon over the attention to detail and how the carpet won’t just be clean, but protected and odor-free. What’s more, this truck-mount steam-cleaning service uses only green products so you can be sure to keep the chemistry in your relationship, but the chemicals out of your home. Cleveland Steamer’s been going ten years strong. Let them boost the longevity of your carpets — and your love life.

Yes, giving your gal a Cleveland Steamer is just what you bros need to spice up your love life. Personally, I’m holding out for a deal on a “Hot Carl.”

(HT: Hypervocal)