New Study Confirms: “Vaping is Dope”

Thanks to a new study made exclusively available to Mt. Baker Vapor via the American Counsel on Dopeness and Wicked Sick Affairs, we finally have confirmation on what we’ve thought all along. Vaping is dope and anyone that thinks otherwise is peanut butter and jealous.

Lead scientist of ACDWSA Dr. Ricky Spanish made clear in a personal message to MBV the groundbreaking nature of this study:

We have long speculated as to the degree of dopeness attributed to a person by taking up vaping as a hobby. Today, we’re excited to finally confirm these earlier speculations. The exponential increases in swag we observed during the course of this study were truly off-the-chain, bro.

During the highly controlled randomized trials, the ACDWSA looked at a wide-array of characteristics known to correlate strongly with increased levels of individual dopeness. These include time spent wearing sunglasses, personal FPPM (fist pumps per minute), and increased acquisition of fat stacks of currency due to money saved on traditional cigarettes.

Scientists were spotted high-fiving, fist bumping, and chucking massive clouds in the wake of the monumental discovery. One was even observed pulling off a back-flip on his first try while simultaneously beating Through The Fire and Flames on Guitar Hero expert level.

When asked about expectations for the future, Dr. Spanish concluded that he predicts an explosion in the level of dopeness across the country: “We’ve been seeing across the board increases in vaping among the population. Now that we know of this correlation, there is no doubt the World will become a more excellent, chill place.”

This is complete satire. The American Counsel on Dopeness and Wicked Sick Affairs is (sadly) not a real organization. There is no concrete scientific evidence of a direct link between vaping and dopeness. But, if it could be studied, we think these would be the results.