Ever wonder what the days of the week would be like if they took human form? Kind of like that really annoying song from the 90’s about God being one of us, except what if MONDAY was one of us? I spent some time pondering this most serious matter and came up with some possibilities… for my week anyway. Your humanized form of Monday could be the archenemy of mine. Here’s what I got (besides lovin).

Sunday – Would most definitely take a humanized form of someone like my Grandma Nellie who I only picture sitting in her rocking chair and knitting while watching golf on tv. That woman could, and would knit anything. Even shopping bags. Sunday would be an old woman just hanging out in a bathrobe, always.

Monday – Hmm … tough one. Monday would be a baby of some kind. A baby dressed as a lobster, more specifically. Monday means its back to the grind, and sometimes it feels like you are being shoved into a pot of boiling water. Not actually, but this is what happens to lobsters. Point is, sometimes Mondays are like a slap in the face. Monday is a lobster baby trying to make it in this wild, wild world.

Tuesday – No question this day would be an angry old man with a top hat and Harry Potter glasses. Tuesday probably has a thick British accent too. As of recent, Tuesdays have become long monotonous days where all I want to do is make this old man face. That is a hard face to make in public, I do my best though. If I saw Tuesday in real life, I would take him out for a drink…or three.

Wednesday – Wednesday Addams, obviously.

Thursda y – This day would be Lindsay Lohan. She’s always thirsty, and so is Thursday. Therefore, Lindsay MUST be Thursday.

Friday – Fridays are wacky, just like Willy Wonka. Gene Wilder Wonka, not Johnny Depp Wonka. Yeah, definitely Wilder.

Saturday – This is a motivation day. Productivity at its finest! Saturday would be someone like Denzel Washington in Remember The Titans. I would listen to anything that man said, especially if The Temptations were playing as my life soundtrack.

Well there you have it, my week in human form! What a relief to finally have this all figured out. Feels like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. You should do this too. That way, you can pass people on the street and think to yourself, “She is such a Thursday.” Maybe not, that doesn’t sound as fun as I imagined. Whatever, just humanize your week for pure amusement! It’s fun, I swear.