A research report released yesterday by Deakin University ranked fast food chains across Australia, based on their healthy eating policies.

Each chain was given a score out of 100, with Subway coming in top with 48, and Macca’s second with 42.

Not the best scores, but alright considering this is fast food.

Domino’s, however, came in last with 3/100. Three.

Not the best publicity, but — as the pizza chain points out — it’s a goddamn pizza chain. “Domino’s is a treat” they said in a statement, pointing out that the study has been misinterpreted by the media as an overall nutritional ranking, rather than what it was: a study based on the approach to healthier food options.

Again, it’s a goddamn pizza chain.

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“Unfortunately, many people have taken an incorrect impression from this latest research that it measured the nutritional value of our meals – this is not right”, a Domino’s spokesperson said.

“Instead, the report measured our approach to healthier food options, and policies such as not marketing to children – this is something we are proud we have never done.

“We’ve taken that approach because it was the right thing to do, but recognise we need to keep our customers fully informed about our approach.

“Domino’s is a treat, and customers choose what’s healthy for their lifestyle.

“We will continue to develop products for customers who want a tasty meal that meats their dietary approach, including those who have specific requirements including vegan or gluten free menu options, or those who want to reduce fat, sodium and preservatives.”

Domino’s will soon be introducing vegan cheese to their pizzas — but then again, they also introduced the chocoholic dessert pizza, so it’s swings and roundabouts, really.

Macaulay knows…