All women are sadly used to uncomfortable touches and gazes from males around them, be it a senior in office, a random guy walking on the road, your driver and more. But somehow, seeing Ariana Grande’s video of being almost groped by a pastor, it shows how no woman, no matter how strong, really is safe.

Grande was performing at the funeral of Aretha Franklin who was called the ‘Queen of Soul’ that was being held at the Greater Grace Temple.

She had performed one of Franklin’s songs called “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman,” when she was called back by the pastor Bishop Charles H. Ellis III.

The bishop then went on to make a very crude and racist kinda joke by saying that, “When I saw Ariana Grande at the program, I thought that was a new something at Taco Bell.”

He did this and made some other comments all while holding her from above her waist (under the arms: why?) and his fingers very clearly and visibly DIGGING into the right sight of her breast for over 30 seconds.

I don’t care what you think about Ariana Grande, her music or her dress. This is wrong. That bishop’s hand should not be on her breast: I just saw this because I’ve been working and not watching pic.twitter.com/ixVhgYBJTN — Mona Eltahawy (@monaeltahawy) September 1, 2018

Nonverbal Cues And An Apology

The bishop after the major backlash, did come out with an apology in an interview with ITV News, where he somewhat explained the situation. He said that, “I hug all the female artists and the male artists”.

And further added that, “Everybody that was up, I shook their hands and hugged them. That’s what we are all about in the church. We are all about love.”

He also said that, “It would never be my intention to touch any woman’s breast. … I don’t know I guess I put my arm around her,” and that, “Maybe I crossed the border, maybe I was too friendly or familiar but again, I apologize.”

About the Taco Bell joke he stated, “Listen, maybe it’s just a joke that went bad,” and continued that,“But when you’re doing a program for nine hours, you know, you try to keep it lively, you try to make some funny references and what have you.”

He finally ended it by saying “If it was taken to be an offensive statement, I apologize.”

Now, the apology is not really useful here since it can be heavily assumed that the only reason he did it is to waive off all the negative press and comments he was getting. People all over Twitter, trended #RespectAriana as a means to bring light to the issue and how wrong the pastor’s actions were.

But what it really shows is that people or men, in particular, are still not aware of what non-verbal cues really mean.

Grande was clearly uncomfortable and in the video and pictures released tried to put some distance between them, however, it almost felt like the bishop had a strong grip on her.

It was a live telecast and in such a scenario the 25-year-old musician could not really have done anything without calling over a lot of attention to herself. Thus first, the pastor should have known himself only on where to put his hands when hugging her in the first place and 2nd he should then have realised the non-verbal cues she was giving and removed his hand instead of keeping it there.

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Why Couldn’t Ariana Take His Hand Off Herself?

A good question to also ask is why exactly couldn’t Grande herself take his hand off, move it, or do anything to remove that unwanted grope.

The answer is the fact that it would have appeared incredibly arrogant, and considering that a pastor is held in a high regard in the Western society it would have called rude of her to do something like that.

Especially when it is being broadcasted live with probably millions watching it and thus she had to endure it with a smile on her face.

Her removing his hand from that place would also bring the attention away from the funeral, that is being held in the memory of an important person and artist, and Ariana probably wanted to keep the sober atmosphere without making a hue and cry over it all.

But considering that she is a young, modern and strong woman, I believe it is time that they take action then and there instead of enduring it, more to give courage to other women too, more to set an example.

And even we as a society need to stop thinking in terms of whether someone is being rude or not especially when they are in this kind of situation.

If someone is touching you in an inappropriate manner, or one with which you are not comfortable then it does not matter where you are, you have full right to shirk their hand off without other people judging you and calling you disrespectful.

Image Credits: Google Images

Sources: New York Times, BBC News, The Guardian + more

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