The Australian government has revoked the visa of New Zealander Shane Martin, after federal police uncovered evidence of his association with son Dustin.

“We have received information that the foreign-born Martin ignored the advice of immigration officials and continued to liaise with questionable characters,” said a government spokesperson. “These people are involved in serious criminal activity, including peddling dangerous weapons like chopsticks and repeatedly getting really terrible haircuts.”

Martin has been detained in prison, where he will be forced to watch every Richmond game this season before being deported back to New Zealand.

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