I read your description, and it'll get better. I don't know how long ago this was posted, so i don't know if you've already moved past this, but i want you to know that it'll get better. It may take a while, but it'll happen. I'm not particularly good at really comforting people, and i don't really know you at all so this might mean nothing to you ,but i wanted you to know this will all be behind you soon, and you can look onward to a brighter future where you can be happy.