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Can’t stop wondering why that guy didn’t text you back? Is your mother-in-law giving you grief? Feeling left out of the parents group as a stay at home dad?

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Andy has the answer.

Well, an answer anyway and that’s better than nothing.

Be warned he’s not here to mince his words.


If you’re ready to hear the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth – then you’re ready to ask your new favourite agony uncle, Andy.

Dear Andy, Why can’t men take the hint when we try to let them know we’re not interested? From, Pissed Off

Dear Pissed Off,

‘Faint heart never won fair maiden’, goes the old saying.

The more intently we we pursue our quarry, the more likely we are to succeed.



Right?

The notion that – shock horror – a girl mightn’t be up for it really doesn’t sit well with the masculine ego. We have a way of brushing inconvenient truths such as this under the rug.

At the heart of the issue – that of graciously taking ‘no thanks’ for an answer – lies the knotty paradox at the core of modern masculinity. With our man-bags, rose-gold phones and moisturiser we assume we’re enlightened. In truth, men are mostly still savages.

Controversially, I’d argue, women don’t exactly help themselves by not appreciating their own worth. You really do hold all the cards, you know. Don’t suffer fools. Men are pathetically addicted to sex. Slaves to our own ballsacks.

Trouble is, in an age when Tinder and its ilk have normalised transitory, disposable f**king, a chap feels noble just for applying a perfunctory spritz of elbow grease to the archaic craft of wooing. And a woman feels less secure in her ability to ‘hold down a man’ in such a jaded marketplace.

In sum, men struggle to ‘take the hint’ because on the one hand we’re brought up to believe ‘playing hard to get’ is just another cynical coquettish strategy employed to bring men to heel.

On the other, we know perfectly well how awful other men are, so assume it shouldn’t take much effort and attention (we think) to elevate ourselves above the common herd and so achieve the only goal we really care about – getting laid.

Love, Andy

Dear Andy, How can stay-at-home dads feel less isolated? I can’t find any support and I feel like I’ve lost all my old mates. From, Daddy Daycare

Dear Daddy Daycare,

Looking after a young child is so joyful. I’m biased, or course, but my little two year-old lad is an absolute riot. Hilarious, hapless and handy if I need to park that bit closer to the shops.

Thing is, because being a stay-at-home dad is still somewhat niche, there aren’t so many of us knocking around.

While mummies merrily congregate on Mumsnet or find easy camaraderie at the soft play centre, us chaps struggle to network, ending up more often than not hanging out awkwardly alone by the swings, waiting for our sprogs to tire themselves out.

It can get lonely.

It needn’t be so. Even though striking up a conversation about, say, toilet training or sleeping patterns is literally the most cringe-worthy thing ever, most mummies are massively amenable to a male perspective once you’ve broken the ice.



I’ve even found (whisper it) a scintillatingly flirty undercurrent to these initially awkward exchanges – after all, if you think being a young father puts a dampener on your sex life, imagine what it would be like if your undercarriage was ravaged by the rigours of childbirth.

Any conversation that, however innocently, reminds both parties they’re still a bit sexy does wonders for self esteem.

In short, don’t expect social interactions to be what they once were when you were young free and single. But by the same token, don’t dismiss the people who are now, like it or not, your peers. Even if they smell like milk and wee.

Love, Andy

Got a question for Andy? Got a burning question you think Andy might be able to answer? Comment below and let us know or email hey@metro.co.uk

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