By Police1 Staff

A defense attorney who formerly worked as a Miami-Dade cop and with the FBI has compiled his law enforcement expertise into a ‘how-to’ book of tips titled, “Arrest-Proof Yourself.”

In his 369-page book — now in its second edition — Dale Carson portrays policing as a game of ‘who can arrest the most people."

“Policing isn’t about keeping streets safe, it’s about statistical success,” Carson tells The Atlantic Cities.

His words of advice include hiding illegal activities at home, blending in because cops “love hassling people who stand out,” take any verbal insults in stride to avoid a physical altercation, (he even advises to be ‘strategically pitiful’), and to inspire sympathy from police by crying about the effect an arrest is going to have on your job and/or family.

Carson offers a ‘hail Mary’ last-resort strategy of soiling one’s self in the hopes that the arresting officer will let you go to avoid getting their cruiser dirty.

Carson’s final tips for potential arrestees is to never hit the brakes when you spot a cop ahead because the dipping of your vehicle is reason enough for cops to believe you were speeding, and to never let police search your vehicle.