ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A locally-popular breeding pair of Baby Boomers have broken their silence this morning after selling one of their investment properties at a loss over the weekend.

John and Diana Williams-Creswell have worked hard to amass a large portfolio of properties around town. They’ve saved, begged and borrowed.

The sexagenarians told The Advocate that they bought their first property in 1981. A humble four-bedroom Californian bungalow in Betoota Grove.

“We paid $45000 cash for that place,” said John.

“It’s worth about $1.45m today. But we don’t own it. We’ve used

it to mortgage our other properties. We have six houses, two flats and a beach house on Lake Betoota which we’re still paying off,”

“But even with interest rates this low, we couldn’t keep up. The rental yields were too thin. We could cover the mortgage repayments but we wanted more. We’ve worked hard and we deserve to make a profit on renters. It’s our right as landlords,”

“We had to sell a house over the weekend and we didn’t get the price we thought we deserved for the property. In an ideal world, we wouldn’t have sold. But we had to. We sold it for less than what we paid for it. That shouldn’t happen to hard working Australians. Where’s my go?”

“I think people should feel sorry for us. We’ve lost our go and our promise of Australia has broken.”

Our reporter spoke to a number of local mortgage brokers who claimed that now is the best time to be a property investor in the Simpson Desert as lending conditions are great and interest rates have never been lower.

“You can afford to borrow more. So borrow more,” said one lender.

“Get that new car, too. You deserve it. We can do you a package,”

“Fuck it. Get a boat too if you want. We’ll bundle that in, too. Also, if you get this credit card, you’ll get 100 000 frequent flyer points and a lounge invitation. You’ll be better than everyone else, better than your renting neighbours,”

“Borrow more money, you hopeless cunt. Just say fuck it. Deal with it later, you piece of shit. Fuck you!”

More to come.