It’s happened to all of us. We are up against a hard deadline, or pushing to get as much done for the day as we can. We glance up at the clock and are relieved to find we have another hour or two to finish up. So we put our head back down and get busy on the task at hand. An hour or so passes, and we look up again to see if we are keeping pace with time, and to our chagrin we realize the hands of the clock have not moved. We panic. What time is it really? Did I miss my bus? Am I missing my child’s soccer game? Did I just work for free with no way to be compensated? We have all encountered the famous broken clock. But, like Bernie Sanders, a broken clock is right twice a day.

Make no mistake, the other 23 hours and 58 minutes Batcrap Bernie is a hate filled raving curmudgeon, full of endless gallons of gasoline to throw upon the fires of the real problems we face in our country. But for those glorious two minutes, when the useless timepiece syncs up with temporal reality, for that fleeting minute, Bernie Sanders identifies a problem and I say, yes Bernie, you have a point. Of course for the next 11:59 he proceeds to find ways to make that problem worse, but that’s what makes Batcrap Bernie, well, Batcrap.

On June 26, 2019, Batcrap Bernie penned an op ed in the Wall Street Journal where he declared “Trump is the worst kind of Socialist”. What a balloon. I’m not going to waste my time reading this, you say to yourself. But before you know it curiosity has gotten the better of you and you find yourself reading it. If you just read the first paragraph you will say, “well there he goes again, hating all things capitalist”. And he does. He clearly does. He truly does. It’s full of all the usual rhetoric, the 1%, the billionaires, blah blah. And in a whirlwind of hate he calls for the death, imprisonment and destruction of all the old familiar villains of the left. It’s a regular who’s who of leftist hate. The rich, banks, Big Oil, Big Pharma, Liberal turncoat Jeff Besos and Amazon, and public enemy number one, the pride of the Walton family, Walmart. Most normal people have already stopped reading. Most normal people are so incensed with his hatred and myopic demands for solutions that they can easily overlook that the curmudgeon actually has a valid point buried deep in his hate filled diatribe. And no, it’s not the President Trump is a socialist. That’s just clickbait for the base.

As you allow your blood pressure to settle, you think back a decade and you realize that Batcrap Bernie is making the Tea Party case. Socialism is wrong in any and all forms. Including corporate socialism. Let’s examine where we agree. If you were on the front lines as a Tea Partier, or just rooting from the stands, you know it was born out of the final straw, the bank bailouts. Only the most dogmatic of the Neocons justified the bailouts as necessary. That was the issue the Tea Party took to the streets over. Well well well, For this moment in time, that 60 seconds where our broken clock is showing the right time, Batcrap Bernie and the Deplorables are in agreement, or at least, it seems they should be.

From electric bills, to the cost of prescription drugs, to taxpayer funded breaks only available to the well lobbied huge corporations, This corporate socialism is just flat out wrong. If it were talked about as a Tea Party rally, we’d wrap ourselves in a flag, dress up as lady liberty, blow our fifes and bang our drums and cheer like we never cheered before. Unfortunately Batcrap Bernie only has 60 seconds of lucidness when the temporal world has crossed through utopia. Even in that 60 seconds he is still spewing global warming, inequality, reparations, and racism, sexisism, homophobia et al. So you have to pay close attention, push down the vomit that is rising in your esophagus, and you will see him. 60 Glorious seconds of Batcrap Bernie sporting a red MAGA hat. It may take more than 60 seconds for that red blanket to disappear from in front of your eyes, and viola, it’s gone. But it is there, I promise.

Now here is where we separate the adults from the kiddies. How do we convince Batcrap Bernie and the millions who love him that all the rest of the socialism is what we are on about? Well we can’t, unless we are willing to be perfectly honest with ourselves. Is corporate socialism ok with us? Because if it is, and no matter how much mental gymnastics we employ to justify why it’s different, better, useful, creates jobs, then weare socialists as well. We then, just want to pick and choose the socialism that we force onto others, likely because we see a benefit to ourselves, or as serving a greater good. I don’t think this is true, but I could be wrong. I was at so many rallies, both here in Staten Island and in Washington DC, and there was no love for corporate socialism.

So we have to ask ourselves why it doesn’t seem like our side, the non curmudgeons, stopped being so against this corporate welfare and are singularly focused on social welfare. Outside of a reasonable safety net, if we are being honest with ourselves, they are both socialism. Imagine if the elected officials we have that wear our home team jersey would stand up in unison and say, like a baptism, “I renounce Socialism in all it’s forms”, and said yes Senator, you are right. But free shit for all is socialism too. We call on you to repudiate the socialism that you are fighting so hard to expand. We propose trading corporate socialism for social socialism, we will end our favored kind if you agree to end yours, we will hammer out a reasonable safety net to ensure no person starves to death and no global financial crisis bankrupts us all. It may not solve the problem, because the democrats may simply want to obstruct, but I posit that the first side who offers up their favorite form of socialism as a sacrifice at the altar of dysfunction is the side that wins the hearts and votes of the American people for a generation. At the very least it will shift the narrative to who is the bad guys and who are the good guys in this swamp we call our government.

But first and foremost, we must look deep within ourselves. We must decide if we agree with the Tea Party or the Chamber of commerce, because that is the divide within those who affiliate as conservative Republicans. Decide if we want to rewrite the laws of nature to say you can be half pregnant, what goes up keeps going and going, objects at rest will never move again, and you are not a Socialist because you disapprove of some Socialism. If we, the ones who see ourselves as the anti socialists are going to defend our favored socialism, then we might as well stop even paying attention. If we decide that we really want to end all socialism, then we must make it clearly known that we are awake and we know that there is no difference. Bernie Sanders socialism is completely equal with chamber of commerce socialism. Then we will be able to make demands of our elected representatives. Because without us making demands on our side, it will be business as usual for as far as the eye can see.

The following article is meant to be read on an empty stomach after taking a calming agent. IF you can get through it you may see where this broken clock got at least identifying a problem right.