A massive shit-storm that has been hanging over the UK since June 2016 is set to make landfall towards the end of October confirmed meteorologists. But despite knowing for over three years that the most serious crisis since 1939 was heading our way, the government has done nothing to prepare us for the misery that lies ahead.

Experts warn that the fall out caused by Hurricane Brexit will affect the lives of millions of people across the UK and leave a trail of devastation and destruction for generations to come. Many will lose their homes and livelihood, the storm surge will cripple the job market and there will be a shortage of medicine and disruption to food supplies.

It is estimated that only a handful of people in the UK will escape the aftermath of the storm and not surprisingly most of them went to the same school and hold large bank accounts on small islands far away.

UK hurricanes are formed when a mixture of hot air and toxic lies replace known facts and science-based evidence. PM Boris Johnson has advised people to turn off their TV sets, stop buying newspapers not owned by a non-domicile, don’t listen to the radio and under no circumstances log on to the internet.

‘Follow these incredibly useful tips that Dominic has come up with….hunker down and wait for the storm to pass….and when it is all over everything will be just fine’ urged the PM ‘once you take down the shutters, draw back the curtains and look to see what has been going on….you will be amazed at what we did when you were not looking’.