Like Captain Kirk and Spock, Jared and I went where no man has gone before. Or should go. A space not filled with galaxies but tampons. These are the voyages of the Starship Crowder, who's mission is to explore the bizarre and disgusting, to seek out new ways to blind ourselves, to boldly go there in just out tighty-whities.

Yes, we went there so you wouldn't have to. It wasn't a diplomatic mission. We got booed. We got chased. We got a little sick and went home to our beautiful wives with love and appreciation in our hearts.

Highlights:

Trigger Warnings: everywhere. Trigger warnings for "patriarchy" trigger warnings for "anti-trans rhetoric", trigger warnings for men drinking beer etc.

The transgendered, man-bewbed Jesus who was shoved in our face. No trigger warning for that

Ironically, feminists look the least like actual women.

Transgendered things who paraded around like Barbies and no one cried sexism

Seriously, feminist don't look like actual women.

New running speeds as we fled the cops

Apparently "Fat pride" is the biggest growing sector in the feminist movement.

Three different bathrooms were required to make all "genders" feel comfortable. That being said, any gender could use any bathroom at any given time.

These feminists REEEEALLY don't look like women.

You're welcome.