THE Guardian website has a larger readership of argumentative right-wing arseholes than middle-class bedwetters, it has emerged.

The newspaper’s site now has an audience that is 81 per cent tedious right-wingers who flock there to sneer at ‘the left’ and make unfunny comments about hairy women.

Deputy editor Stephen Malley said: “I think they come here because they’re guaranteed an argument and the Telegraph has closed its comments section as nobody could moderate it without becoming suicidal.

“As a result even an earnest article about youth unemployment will get thousands of hits and rabid comments like ‘Welcome to Benefits Britain!!! National Service or compulsory sterilisation!!! No if’s no but’s. Simples.’”

Troll Roy Hobbs said: “I hate the Guardian and everything it stands for, so I have to spend hours there reading up on obscure human rights issues so I can rant incoherently about them.

“I think they might have realised there are loads of people like me because they’ve started selling ‘golf and wine’ mini-breaks and ‘Enoch was right’ mugs.”

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