CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A desperate Prime Minister Morrison has today made an effort to mend his relationship with former Julia Banks MP, after her decision to resign from the Liberal Party and plunge the Morrison Government further into minority.

Banks’ decision to leave the party sends a devastating message to voters that the Liberal Party is hostile to women. It’s a decision that Morrison is eager to resolve, for fear of not only losing the next election, but losing by a record breaking landslide.

Morrison has today met with the outgoing MP to ask just what it was that caused her to make life so hard for him and the fellas.

“Is everything alright at home, love?” Morrison asked the former Director of Corporate Affairs for Kraft Foods Asia-Pacific.

Banks responded by saying that things were fine at home and that she was leaving the Liberal Party because she was constantly being intimidated and bullied by a far-right faction of namely Craig Kelly MP, Peter Dutton and Tony Abbott that honestly think this country is being tricked by elitist progressives into saving the environment and treating homosexuals like humans, despite having every major newspaper in their pocket – and are in turn taking their frustrations out on their assertive female colleagues with public ambitions that may be misleading young Australian women into thinking they can find a rewarding life outside of the kitchen and may be part of the reason that their daughters don’t speak to them anymore.

Morrison gazed into the distance and nodded as Julia Banks explained her reasons, before asking if her issues could have been hormonal.