Dear Moneyologist,

My wife and I married in California in June 2014, but two days after the ceremony she had to go back to take care of her ailing father in her home country who had terminal cancer. Weeks and months went by and, even after her father passed away, she didn’t want to come back to me.

All of a sudden, she developed an aspiration to become a dentist in her home country. She studied hard, and unexpectedly passed her exams (according to her) and, despite my disagreement, enrolled in dental school in her country, which is a seven-year program.

I’ve been as patient as I possibly can. I’ve never cheated on her and tried to keep my spirits up as much as possible. Last August, in one of her three-week vacation visits, I filed for legal separation. I didn’t want to be too aggressive by filing for divorce. I wanted to allow her a chance to reconsider and, if she didn’t, protect my assets as well.

The legal separation never became official because she started showing signs of interest again to move here.

“ I’m afraid of divorcing her because she might be entitled to half my assets. I wouldn’t be surprised if she asked for spousal support. ” — Deserted Husband in California

She finally moved here, almost two years after we got married but by then she seemed like a different person. As if we’ve grown apart. She tells me herself that she’s a different person prior to enrolling in dental school. I simply did not feel that this was an authentic marriage.

Now I’m afraid of divorcing because she might be entitled to half my assets. I’m a physician, even though she’s never lived here with me and has never helped me or been through with me “thick and thin.” Knowing her, I wouldn’t be surprised if she asked for spousal support. However, I can’t leave this subject untouched because the longer I wait, the more “entitled” the State might see her as, therefore the higher the risks I have in sharing my assets with her.

What are my risks of needing to share my assets? How can I avoid sharing any assets? Any words of wisdom will help.

Deserted Husband in California

Dear Deserted,

You’ve been more patient than most people would have been in your situation. Your wife’s initial reason to go back to her home country was a legitimate one, but to stay there in order to start dental school seems cruel and unusual. It must have been difficult to comprehend how the same woman you married could be so callous as to leave you after two days and only come back for three-week vacations at a time. It’s not clear whether she married you for love, money or a Green Card. You need to consult a divorce lawyer, but I have a hunch that she will be out of luck on all three.

“ In California, spousal support typically lasts for one-half of the length of the marriage, but I don’t believe any divorce court will treat this as anything other than a marriage in name only. ” — The Moneyologist

This could happen to any man or woman, and it has: He or she meets someone who seems genuine. They fall in love. They go through all of the actions that that entails, and then when the marriage contract is signed, everything changes. Perhaps she did think she was in love, didn’t care about money or a Green Card, but at some point knew her heart wasn’t in it and simply didn’t have the words to back out.

What doesn’t make sense here: Thus far, your wife still doesn’t seem to know or have the ability to say what she wants. What’s more, she didn’t even play the role of wife long enough for her to acquire a Green Card or stay with you long enough to warrant a sizable divorce settlement or even convince you of her love. My guess: You have to make the next move because you could be waiting months, even years, for her to do the right thing. (My colleague Catey Hill and I host a weekly podcast Money, Markets & More. Last week we discussed the 10 most important financial decisions you will ever make. Chief among them is the person you will marry.)

The good news: It’s no longer your problem. The Moneyologist can see signs that you’re getting your moxie back. You’re right to follow your instincts. You have remained true to yourself. Don’t change now. Tell the immigration officials the truth: You married in 2014 and she left after two days (with good reason) but didn’t come back. Tell your attorney the same thing. Some economists refer to the time we spend searching for a partner as “romantic unemployment.” You’ve spent the equivalent of two years on welfare. It’s time for you to get back in the game.

California — along with Arizona, Idaho, Louisiana, Texas, Nevada, New Mexico and Washington — treat marital assets as community or marital property, meaning assets acquired during the marriage are divided equally, but you keep everything you had before. In California, spousal support typically lasts for one-half of the length of the marriage. One year, in this case. That said, your wife was not even in the country for most of that time. I don’t believe any divorce court in California will treat this as anything other than a marriage that existed in name only.

You have every reason to file for divorce now and put yourself first. You deserve to be happy and to meet someone who treats you well. It’s time to embark on the next chapter of your life.

Do you have questions about inheritance, tipping, weddings, family feuds, friends or any tricky issues relating to manners and money? Send them to MarketWatch’s Moneyologist and please include the state where you live (no full names will be used).

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(This story was republished.)