Right now, certain parts of the country are in a frenzy to deny transgender men and women the right to use the bathroom of their choice.

One of those places is the State of Georgia. (Full disclosure: I was born in Georgia, and I am a lawyer. I am also a transgender woman, though no matter how hard I try I do not “pass” as a woman born with all the proper parts.)

I confess that I am a coffee addict, so wherever I go it is important that I have quick and easy access to a bathroom.

And likewise, I enjoy going out with my transgender friends to bars and clubs and restaurants where alcohol is served. So I asked myself, “What would I do if I were to go on a visit to Atlanta?” Because like I say, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

So after much deep thought (helped along by several cups of coffee – and several urgent and unavoidable trips to the loo), I came up with a strategy for dealing with places that have laws like Georgia’s.

Which is this: I decided that me having access to a bathroom is something the owner of the business should take responsibility for.

Not me. I’m not the owner. I’m just the customer. It’s me who’s spending my money in his place of business. So… it’s only reasonable for him to prepare for the possibility that – at some point during my visit – I will need to pee.

Often I go to a club here in Cleveland where the manager (Jason) is friendly and professional.

More than once, late in the evening, I have felt a little nervous about walking back to my car in the dark, and he responded by asking one of his bartenders to walk me safely out to my car. This was not just common courtesy – it’s good business.

So… here is what I intend to do, should I visit a similar place of business in Georgia. Upon entering, I will ask to see the manager.

I will inform him that I intend to purchase and consume one or more beverages. Next, I will confess my status as a transgender woman and suggest to him that there is every possibility – even a likelihood – that I – at some point – will need to pee.

I will then ask the manager to designate some member of his staff to accompany me to the bathroom – if and when such an occasion (me needing to pee) should arise.

Now, my expectation is that I will be forced by Georgia law to use the men’s room, but you can easily imagine that I am not going to walk alone into a men’s room where men are present. That would be unsafe.

No, I am going to ask the manager to instruct the waiter to first verify that the men’s room is empty.

Then – after I go in – the waiter should stand guard outside until I am done and reemerge. Then and only then can the waiter go back to his job serving fried chicken and grits to the other patrons.

From what I have read, the Georgia legislation singles out transgender men and women according to what is on our birth certificate (or maybe it’s our DNA, I’m not sure).

But whatever it is, I cannot figure out how the manager of a McDonald’s in Buckland is supposed to look out across a noisy lunchtime crowd and see me and right away know what my DNA is…or what my birth certificate says.

More likely, he’s just going to “profile” me based upon whether or not I pass. So Laverne Cox will get her drink and fries (and use the ladies’ room) while I will have to look up and down the street for a gas station.

As a lawyer, I can promise you that first time I get “profiled” in this way, that business – and that manager – are going to get sued: Sued in Federal Court for sex discrimination and violation of my civil rights.

And if I am there with one of my African American transgender women friends, we will add on a claim for discrimination based on race. Because if they “profile” my friend Tamara, who’s to say whether it was because she’s transgender or because she’s black?

I cannot guess what will happen if I try to go to see the Braves or the Falcons. Will there be police positioned outside the ladies’ rooms?

So they can reach up under my skirt to check for the proper genitals? And at Hartsfield Airport in Atlanta (busiest airport in the world) will they really have the time and staff to check the genitals of every person rushing off a plane and making a mad dash for the ladies’ room?

So I have some advice for the lawmakers in Georgia.

Just pass a law that tells the owners of businesses and government buildings across the state to do this: Go into the back room where you stored away those signs that say “COLORED” and turn them over and stencil the word “TRANNY” in big bold letters.

Then put them up on the doors of those same bathrooms where they used to hang. That seems to be the way you do things in your state.

Holly Maholm is a transgender woman living in Cleveland, Ohio. She is the author of a recently-published book Brave in Ribbons (November, 2015) which features a transgender woman who faces hardship in her life. Other articles by Holly can be found at www.HollyMaholm.com.