Mindfulness meditation is the practice of focusing your attention to a neutral source, such as your breath, and then refocusing that attention when your mind inevitably wanders. It’s a simple concept, but it can be a frustrating experience if you don’t know what to expect. In this article, I’ll explain the way I teach mindfulness meditation to clients in my therapy practice. Your mind is a hectic place — how do you find your way?

Navigating your mind

Here a metaphor for the way the mind works.

Your thoughts are trains

Think of the phrase “train of thought.” It’s a vivid metaphor that describes thought in motion. Some of these thoughts are so mundane we may not even notice them (like picking out socks in the morning). And then some thoughts have huge emotion attached to them (like dreading a sit-down with the boss).

If you counted every distinct thought you had in any given day, it’d surely be in the thousands. They are forever chugging along, emitting white noise in your mind.

So where do these trains of thought come from, and where do they end up?

Your mind is a train station

To flesh out the metaphor a bit: if your thoughts are trains, then your mind is a train station though which all of these trains pass.

Your mind is a wide-open place with the potential to take you anywhere you want to go. But it’s also a chaotic place with blinking lights, flashing signs, loud noises, pushy crowds, and plenty of irrelevant information. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, lost, or both.

It’s tempting to take the first train of thought that arrives

We are often in the habit of simply taking whichever train seems to pull into our mental train station first. We just get on board whichever train is front and center, without asking where the train is going, or whether we even want to go that way.

Sound familiar?

How many would-be relaxing nights have you had spoiled by an anxious or depressing thought that entered your mind and derailed you? I know it’s happened to me. When a emotionally-provocative thought arrives, it’s almost like we can’t resist getting on board. And then we ride this train as far as it wants to take us.

But would you do this in an actual train station?

We have all gotten on trains of thought without questioning their direction, but would you do this at an actual train station? Would you just show up, and walk onto the first train you happen to see? Of course not!

You walk into a train station knowing it will be a chaotic place. From the second you walk into the terminal, you’re probably diligent and focused in seeking out the specific train you want to get on, ignoring as much of the noise and distraction as you possibly can.

You can learn to navigate your mind like you would a train station

This is exactly the same approach you can take with your own mind: seek out the train of thought you want to be on, and ignore the noise and distraction. For some reason, it’s so hard to do this with our thoughts.

So how do we break this habit, and start navigating our minds more deliberately?

Mindfulness meditation is the practice of sitting in that train station of your mind and watching the trains of thought come and go. You’re not boarding any of them — you’re making a conscious decision to let them pass. With time and practice, this will allow you to navigate your own mind like a pro.

So that’s the primer. Now, let’s dive in.

A guide to mindfulness meditation in four steps

At first, meditation is daunting to a lot of Westerners (myself included). With so many forms and variations, it’s hard to know if you’re doing it right. But worrying about ‘rightness’ is counterproductive to the exercise itself. Mindfulness meditation is about accepting your experience as it is, imperfections and all.

Here is a very simple mindfulness meditation practice that you can do anytime, anywhere:

Pick a focal point — your breath, a spot on the wall in front of you, or maybe your stomach as you inhale and exhale (I use this one). Breathe through your diaphragm, and begin to pay attention to your mind and body — your thoughts, emotions, and the physical sensations you are experiencing. When you notice your mind wander, identify the thought with filter words Return your attention to your focal point

That’s really all there is too it. Mindfulness meditation is as simple as it gets, but hat’s not to confuse ‘simple’ with ‘easy.’ Mindfulness meditation can be very challenging, and can elicit surprising emotions.

You may think or feel a variety of things when you’re meditating– boredom, frustration, impatience. Or, you may find that your thoughts turn negative when you forego distraction and sit quietly with yourself.

These are just more trains of thought inviting you to get on board. Identify them, and return to your focal point.

Now let’s dive into each step in more detail.

1. Pick a focal point

Finding the right focal point is a personal experience. And, really, there’s no right answer. A lot of people focus on the sensation of their breath as air enters and exits their nostrils. When I do this, it makes my eyes want to cross, which is distracts me. So don’t worry about getting it right — just pick something and give it a try, knowing you can try another focal point later.

Some common ones to try are:

your breath, whether through your nostrils or your diaphragm/belly

a body part: head, shoulders, fingers, toes (or maybe eyes and ears and mouth and nose)

a visual cue, like a picture or maybe a light switch on the wall

imagery, such as an imagined beach or other calming place

2. Breath through your diaphragm

The diaphragm is a thin muscle that sits at the bottom of your rib cage, separating your chest from your abdomen. This is the way you want to breath for relaxation, as opposed to breathing through your chest.

To practice diaphragmatic breathing, place one hand on your chest, as if you are saying the pledge of allegiance, and the palm of your hand over your belly button. Now take a deep breath.

Breath in slowly through your nose, and out again through either your nose or your mouth. If you felt your stomach gently expand like a balloon slowly filling with air, and then gently deflating, congrats — you know how to breath through your diaphragm! If you’re not used to this, though, your diaphragmatic may feel weak after a few breaths. Make a point to practice a few diaphragmatic breaths every day and you will build up this muscle in no time.

If you felt your chest expand when breathing — that means you’re still chest-breathing. Try again, and see if you can figure out how to take a deep breath without feeling any movement in your chest or your shoulders. When you’ve done this, you’ll have figured out how to activate your diaphragm. Don’t worry if you have trouble with this — you’ll figure it out, just keep at it.

3. When you notice your mind wander, use filter words to detach from thoughts

“I’m having the thought that…

Your mind is going to wander when you meditate. That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong, or that you’re bad at meditating. It just means you’re human. When you notice your mind has wandered, use filter words — “I’m having the thought that…” to acknowledge this, and return to your focal point.

I’ve actually re-purposed this term filter words from a creative writing book I read in college. In fiction, filter words are words that unnecessarily distance the reader from the action in the story. For example, a classic line in children’s literature is Chicken Little’s exclamation, “the sky is falling!” If we were to insert a filter word into this line, it would read, “I’m having the thought that the sky is falling!“

These filter words (“I’m having the thought that…“) are generally avoided in writing because they create a degree separation between the reader and the events in the story. This disrupts the fictional dream, or our sense of total immersion into the story (the coiner of the phrase, author John Gardner, calls the fictional dream the most important part of writing).

But it turns out that what is bad for storytelling is good for mental health.

We suffer when we become too immersed in our own negative thoughts — our own fictional dreams (or nightmares), if you will. If you have the thought, “I’m not good enough!” you may become so immersed in this fictional world that it become your reality.

This is where filter words come in handy. Let’s go back to the thought, “I’m not good enough!” If you add filter words to it, you’ll have something like:

“I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough.”

Or, you can go even further:

“I notice I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough.”

These filter words create distance between you and your thoughts, which can help you to recognize that you have a choice about which train of thought you take. If you don’t like this one, another one will be pulling into the station soon.

A thought unchallenged becomes your reality. Mindfulness gives you the ability to observe your thoughts and decide whether or not they will lead you to the reality you want to live in.

4. Return your attention to your focal point

This one is simple enough in theory. When you notice your mind has wandered, refocus your attention to your focal point (or, you can pick a new one — the point is just to focus on something neutral, and not an emotionally charged thought).

While it’s simple in theory, this is the hardest step in practice.

Benefits of mindfulness meditation

Now that we’ve reviewed the steps of mindfulness meditation, let’s take a look at some of the benefits. There is a whole lot of anecdotal evidence of positive effects of mindfulness meditation, and meditation is a cornerstone to numerous major religions and cultures dating back to antiquity. Modern science is finally catching up. The National Institute of Health recognizes the following benefits of meditation:

Eases anxiety

Eases depression

Helps with insomnia

Additionally, meditation can improve physical health symptoms by:

Reduces high blood pressure

Reduces symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome

May help with quitting smoking

Helps with a number of other physical complaints

There are also less tangible ways practitioners have reported meditation benefiting them.

Gandhi famously said:

“I have so much to accomplish today that I must meditate for two hours instead of one.”

For Gandhi, meditation was so crucial to his productivity that he would meditate for longer periods of time when he had the most to do! He understood the power of meditation to help him to avoid those divergent trains of thought that eat up so much time and energy.

Even though it’s an investment up-front, mindfulness meditation can actually free up more time for the things that matter most. And you don’t have to meditate as much as Gandhi did to see the benefits. Five, ten, or fifteen minutes can be enough to increase your focus and control over your thought processes.

It isn’t all-or-nothing: Any mindfulness meditation helps

When the word ‘meditation’ comes to mind, most of us probably think of a yellow-and-red clad Buddhist monk sitting in lotus position. Many do advocate for this position when meditating, but it’s not necessary. I’ve heard about a monk meditating in a lazy boy!

The truth is you can meditate anywhere, at any time.

lying in bed in the morning or at night

in your favorite chair

on your inner tube as you float around in the pool

or, yes, even in lotus position if you really want to

The important thing is giving it a try.

Mindfulness backlash in the media

In recent years, mindfulness has crested into popular media. Various mindfulness techniques have been branded, packaged, and sold in a plethora of ways.

As with most health trends, mindfulness appears to have reached its saturation point in the mainstream media, and is beginning to see a backlash. Rightfully so — mindfulness has been oversold. It isn’t a cure-all.

But as long as our realities are colored by our perception, mindfulness meditation will be a valuable tool . . . even when it’s time in the media spotlight has passed.

You have more potential to influence the contents of your mind than you might think — it just takes some practice to make good on the potential.

Conclusion

When you begin to practice mindfulness meditation, it will be really hard. But practice makes progress, and over time, mindfulness meditation will make it so much easier to detach from unwanted thoughts, so you don’t just get on that first train that comes your way.

And when you inevitably do find that you’ve gotten on board an unwanted train, you’ll recognize it quickly, and realize you have the choice to get off.

So don’t be discouraged when your mind wanders. This just gives you another opportunity to practice disengagement.

Deciding to get off a train of thought can be just as challenging as watching it pass in the first place, and is equally important a skill to develop.

The more you make this practice a part of your life, the more control you will gain over the contents of your mind, and the easier it will be to let unproductive trains of thought pass.

References:

Chodron, Pema (2013) How to Meditate: A Practical Guide for Making Friends with Your Mind. Sounds True Publishing.

Photo credits:

Photograph licensed under Creative Commons zero.

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