Terror in the Wax Museum is a redundant title. Obviously, there has never been a movie wax museum that wasn’t swarming with unimaginable terrors, just as there has never been a John Carradine movie where he didn’t dodder around a secret laboratory full of Bunsen burners and dry ice. (Many people forget that during the famous “I’ll be there” speech in Grapes of Wrath, John’s in the background getting his tongue caught in a beaker.)

When bodies start turning up in London, there’s only possible explanation: the various wax dummies have gained sentience and started murdering people. It’s actually a lot more plausible than the actual twist the movie serves up. Along the way you’ll get to watch people gawk at history’s greatest monsters: Jack the Ripper, Genghis Khan, Lizzie Borden, and the local lounge singer who, though she technically never killed anybody, really needs to improve her vocal range or at the very least learn another damn song!

Mike, Kevin, and Bill all hope to one day be enshrined in Madame Tussauds. Until then, they’ll be settling for this riff.

Written by: Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason

Contributing Writers: Jason Miller, Zachary Shatzer