Winter does not exist in Portugal. Of this, I am convinced. I was strolling around in a long-sleeved t-shirt hours before the mid-December Lisbon derby kicked off. Late afternoon sunshine drenched the palm trees across the road from the Estadio da Luz and there was a tremendous buzz around the Colegio Militar/Luz metro entrance. I made note of my location and promised to namedrop like a smug gickbox in this piece. Here I am, back in Dublin city, as good as my word. Public transport was packed in the build-up to Benfica versus Sporting Club. One of the first on, I was squished up against the wall when both sets of supporters crammed in. All merry and full of cheer not unfamiliar at Christmas time.

But fair play, they know how to host a Derby. England take note… 🔥🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/dt4N6y8Y8a — James Fielden (@James_Fielden) December 11, 2016

Families are probably split by divisive loyalties in Lisbon, I thought, yet it was hard to detect any aggro. Until Sporting boss Jorge Jesus appeared in his technical area. A legend at Benfica, he flushed his standing with supporters down the toilet when he opted to skedaddle across the city for an astonishing amount of money last year.

Jorge Jesus was targeted by paper-throwing Benfica fans throughout. Here he is in his litter-strewn technical area. pic.twitter.com/G3kr3JMSEl — Bleedin Deadly (@Bleedin_Deadly) December 11, 2016

In May, Sporting renewed his €6million per year contract. He was getting a different kind of paper when home fans targeted him, though. Sheets that were used for an astonishing tifo before the match were subsequently chucked at their former saviour. He was walking around the most litter-strewn technical area I’ve ever seen.

Jesus’s boo boys unintentionally harmed their own team with this mess. Benfica had a break a quarter of an hour in when referee Jorge Sousa stopped Rafa Silva from running down the left flank. The ball bobbled over a crumpled up piece of paper and sent Sousa into an OCD-esque clean-up. It could have waited but the germs! Think of the germs!

Sousa was one of the few people to halt Silva during the match. Signed from Braga for €16.4m in the summer, Benfica inserted a €60m release clause into his contract and it’s not unfeasible that a club would be tempted to splash that cash on the 23-year-old. Running riot down the left, this was easily his best game in a Benfica shirt. Ten minutes later, he set up the opening goal with an exquisite outside of the boot assist. Goncalo Guedes did tremendously well in the build-up, pipping Sporting’s Ruben Semedo in a race to the loose ball. Salvio applied the finish from close range.

Did I mention the celebrations? It was a carnival of glee. Looking down from the press box in the nosebleeds, with my head tilted back so that my occipital bun was touching my spine, the temptation was there to dive into the crowd and get involved. Thinking that a bloke jumping on them from a few levels up might wreck their buzz, I decided against it.

This was the kind of event that made you curse your crappy camera. Only a decent piece of equipment could do the colours and the noise justice. But even that ain’t like the real thing. James Fielden captured good pictures and videos before tweeting them into the Twittersphere. They’re embedded here. Good stuff, James.

Just when you thought football had reached peak cringe, Benfica exit the pitch through an Emirates check-in desk after warming up. pic.twitter.com/QYPGvLArLT — James Fielden (@James_Fielden) December 11, 2016

So many Manchester United targets were playing in this match. A United scout apparently attended and fell head over heels for Victor Lindelof. I gotta admit, the Swede didn’t really stick out. Luisao dominates the scenery when he’s close-by, like a giraffe that can play football. Nelson Semedo, at right-back, had a decent game. Joel Campbell did destroy him in the second half, though. Yes, the very same one. Ljubomir Fejsa felt his colleague’s pain. He was tormented by Gelson Martins in the first half. The winger had him beaten all day long. He was still outshone on that side of the pitch by Silva.

I was looking forward to seeing William Carvalho in the flesh but he didn’t have his best game. He’s world class and always makes me think of 80’s NFL star William ‘The Refrigerator’ Perry. The moustache, the giant frame, the prodigious rise. He failed to grab the game by the scruff of the neck here. It wasn’t necessarily a derby for the ages in terms of quality.

Campbell came on at half-time for Bruno Cesar and gave the visitors a new-found urgency. Immediately, Bas Dost hit the post from his cross. That miss proved costly with Raul Jimenez doubling Benfica’s lead a minute later.

The home fans twirled their scarves about and sang Let’s Go Fucking Mental in Portuguese. Dost pulled a goal back midway through the half, scoring a header after terrific work on the left from Campbell. He left Semedo for dead before chipping an inch-perfect cross. Ederson couldn’t do anything there but proceeded to make a series of good stops to prevent Sporting from leaving with a draw. Apparently, Man City are batting their eyelashes at him.

The singing of Bailando by Enrique Iglesias typified the whole experience. It was essentially one big party. The return fixture is in April. It’s a bucket list essential but just because it’s crossed off doesn’t mean I won’t be coming back. It’s a hard one to resist. I’ll see you at the Estádio José Alvalade in four months. Bring dance moves and sun cream.