You think your toes your cozy? Oh no my friend, you are living in a world of delusion. They’re only 10 cozy toes in this world, they are mine!

My secret Santa sent me a message asking for my shoe size. All I could think was, “This poor bastard, they’re going to deal with my size 14 feet.” Everyone knows that coziness stops at size 13, after that it’s just utilitarian socks. If you’re lucky you may find some lined crocs. Little did I know that in the magical land of Denmark coziness cannot be constrained by shoe size. Santa sent me some custom handmade felted cozy slippers, and they’re the greatest thing to ever grace my feet. I haven’t taken them off since they came, which did produce a few strange looks at the office, but who cares!! I’m COZY!!

Thank you so much Santa, you’re the best gift giver I’ve ever come across. My feet thank you!