Untangling religion and culture can be very difficult, not within a mental standpoint, that’s quite easy, but to detach cultural constructs from religious commands, on a societal level, is a very difficult process.

The reality is that change must occur from those who are the most sensitive to this bitterness. So, when I see Muslims on Tumblr exert tremendous intellectual energy to understand concepts and their Islam, or to combat prejudice, there is always a curious absence: solutions.

When we spoke in California, this is the exact issue we discussed: we do not have a solution-based approach to problems. There is a benefit to awareness, some issues are simply not known, but within the spheres in which things are known, there is a tendency towards inaction, and therefore, in order for these vicious circles to stop, it must be with those who are most aware of these circles to stop participating in “excluding the excluder,” if you will.

We should take a lesson from The Prophet, who led by example, and that ultimately what we don’t approve us should be made manifest through our actions. We need to start living our Islam in totality, because we are very selective in what Islamic rules we use and what Islamic rules we don’t. The reality is that Islam’s rules are interlocking, and when you remove one, you have removed an essential assumption that justifies another rule, and when we are selective in what rules apply to us and which don’t, the system will fall apart because it become incoherent.

Therefore, by striving for a complete adoption of the rules, particularly those which govern human interaction and conduct, it is from this place that we can begin to tackle the ugly prejudices within our Ummah and the divides that plague us.

The bitterness is a result of us discussing the rationale behind the rules rather than the rules themselves, and since different people will necessarily need different rationales, we think we are debating Islam, when really we are debating reasons why we should apply one rule or not, which is an extension of our egos.

Therefore, we need to remove our egos from the process, because it is our ego (Nafs) which encourages bitterness, which encourages negativity, and which allows us to accept some forms of things we don’t approve of and to “stand up” to other things.

People are very selective in what rules of Islam they will be strict about, and so until we can stop making exceptions to the most basic rules of human interaction, we will continue to have this circle of negativity.

PS: I think we must also focus on having unity of purpose. The Sahaba had very different view points on a host of different issues, and looking at Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, and Ali, all four were very different in their methods of doing things, but their success was predicated on their unity of purpose, which allows debates over methods to be subservient to the ultimate goal of fulfilling The Command of The Almighty.

I think we must affirm in our minds what The Qur'an defines as “piety” in order for us to move forward, which is as follows:

“True piety does not consist in turning your faces towards the east or the west - but truly pious is he who believes in God, and the Last Day; and the angels, and revelation, and the prophets; and spends his substance - however much he himself may cherish it - upon his near of kin, and the orphans, and the needy, and the wayfarer, and the beggars, and for the freeing of human beings from bondage; and is constant in prayer, and renders the purifying dues; and [truly pious are] they who keep their promises whenever they promise, and are patient in misfortune and hardship and in time of peril: it is they that have proved themselves true, and it is they, they who are conscious of God.” [2:177]

This definition of piety is wildly different to the definition bandied about by Muslims, and I think if we can remind ourselves of this definition, we will have the foundation to move forward, together.

Remember, The Qur'an says:

اهْدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ

It doesn’t say “guide me,” it doesn’t say “guide you,” it says “guide us.”