Savage Love Letter of the Day: My Boyfriend's Condition

I've been in a heterosexual relationship with boyfriend for almost a year. In conversation, he has told me that he has conditioned himself to not feel sexual attraction for women as he feels that it is degrading to them. While I appreciate that he doesn't ogle other women, sometimes I want to feel that he is sexually attracted to me. I think attraction is important in relationships; is it enough that it's not sexual? We do have a healthy sex life, but this has made me considerably less confident in myself. Sponsored Port Townsend Film Festival Stream 24/7 - Watch 75 curated films with filmmaker interviews & special events. Support local arts! Not Feeling Sexy

Hello there, Urban Dictionary:

don't stick your dick in crazy A relatively recent but perennially true maxim, advising one to refrain from sexual congress with the unbalanced.

Some people, e.g. people like your boyfriend, object to this maxim due to its highly problematic gendering or whatever—because not all crazy people are women—but I would argue that those who make this objection need to check their heterosexism or whatever and promptly cease erasing millions of dick-stickable sexual minorities. Lots of people who aren't women enjoy getting dicks stuck in them: gay men; bisexual men with same-sex partners (or opposite-sex partners who enjoy pegging them); men who have sex with men but do not identify as gay or bisexual; male-bodied agender persons who enjoy being penetrated (singly or doubly); bigender persons who experience their gender identities in a non-concurrent fashion and who also enjoy being on the receiving end of penetrative sex when they are experiencing their male identities, etc.

I would further argue that the maxim "don't stick your dick in crazy" can be used by anyone of either/any gender in reference to anyone of either/any gender. (See also: "suck my dick." Citation: "Broad City," Season 2, Episode 8. Illana: "Why don't you suck my dick!") That said, this maxim is easily adapted for use by cisgendered straight women in reference to cisgendered straight men: "Don't let crazy stick its dick in you."

In summation, NFS: Your boyfriend is crazy and you shouldn't let him stick his dick in you anymore. DTMFA.

P.S. It was wrong of me to assume NFS's boyfriend has a dick; not all men have dicks. My apologies. It was likewise wrong of me to assume NFS doesn't have a dick; not all women don't have dicks. My apologies. Also: the word "crazy" is ableist AF. My apologies. And yes, bartender, I will have another.