Hey, what are you up to this Friday afternoon in July? Basically nothing at all? Yeah, I figured. So, you want to listen to two-time NBA All-Star Baron Davis tell wonderful comedians Neal Brennan and Moshe Kasher on their podcast, "The Champs," about how he was recently abducted by aliens (or perhaps the Illuminati)? Yeah, I figured.

The audio clip is after the jump — be forewarned, though, that it contains a fair amount of not-safe-for-work language (mostly f-bombs and s-grenades), so listener discretion is advised:

So, in summation: A late-night drive made while tired from Las Vegas to L.A. ends with the former Charlotte/New Orleans Hornets, Golden State Warriors, Los Angeles Clippers, Cleveland Cavaliers and New York Knicks guard burning rubber in Montebello, Calif., at 4 a.m. en route to an In-N-Out Burger, where he ate two burgers while shaking profusely and wondering how he got from Point A to Point B. Yeah, "aliens" is probably the most reasonable explanation for that scenario.

Eventually, Baron backed off his "abduction" stance, but only because that sounds like too pejorative a phrase.

"I don't think it was an abduction, dude — I think that they were, like ... because now, like, I come back and, like, I'm, like, sharper and [expletive], you know what I mean?" Davis said. "Like, I'm retaining information."

That sounds great! We hope you continue to stay sharp and retain information, Baron, because we loved you throughout your playing career and hope that you continue to drive/interface with extraterrestrials in a safe and mutually beneficial manner.

Also: Drive safe this weekend, everyone. And if you're tired, pull over.

Hat-tip to stand-up champion Hannibal Burress Audio via West Coast Rydaz.