British polygraph operator Bruce Burgess, who conducts lie detector tests for tawdry TV talk shows in the UK, has been caught attempting to lie his way out of a speeding ticket by falsely claiming that he was not the driver. According to the UK Press Association, Burgess has been given a suspended 24-week prison sentence, ordered to carry out 180 hours of community service, fined £250, and “ordered to pay £1,250 in costs and a £15 victim surcharge.”

And Clare Semke reporting for the Portsmouth News, quotes Portsmouth’s transport chief, Councillor Lynne Stagg, as saying of Burgess, “He’s a very silly man. Anybody who falsifies information is incredibly stupid. I can imagine, being in his position, if he had made his career based on telling the truth and he has suddenly found himself in this situation it could have been pure panic.”

It would appear that Burgess is indeed in panic mode. His website (http://www.bruceburgess.co.uk) has vanished from the Web and presently returns a 404 (file not found) error. The Internet Archive Wayback Machine’s most recent cache of the site, dated 12 June 2008, is available here.