HOPING YOUR MAN IS A MIND-READER



It may be a feminine game, but it won’t get you what you want. Men just don’t think that way, and it’s disrespectful to later blame them for something they could never figure out from such indirect communication. Drop the games and be direct. Effective communication is what will hold you in good stead. If you’re embarrassed to ask what you want, use language which makes your meaning clear. Though you may find it difficult to express your emotions, he’ll need feedback to make sure he carries on enthusiastically. Losing your self in your bliss and not saying anything will make him wonder if you’re asleep, dead or uninterested, at which point he is most likely to stop.



RESENTING HIM WHEN HE DOESN’T GET IT RIGHT



If you want more foreplay, then you need to say so. If he charges straight into your erogenous zones after a few minutes’ of petting and kissing, then you need to educate him about what you want. Men are much more quickly aroused than women on the whole, and they simply need slowing down. As a woman you’re likely to be more creative than a man, so maybe you can apply your creative skills to sex, and improve it for both of you!



NOT REALISING THAT ‘WOMEN COME FIRST’!



Well, maybe not in everything, but it’s not a bad rule to follow during sex. Men lose interest after a while: like it or not, that’s how they are biologically built (in fact they are programmed to sleep after sex) and unless they’re especially sensitive, they won’t be much interested in your satisfaction. The best way to deal with this is to have extended foreplay. This way he’ll be very turned on and he will enjoy the act.



BEING CRITICAL OF YOUR BODY



It’s hard for women to believe, but it’s true. In general, men are much less critical of your body than you are. When you start hiding it during sex, or refusing to enjoy certain sexual positions because you fear what he might think of your body, he’s likely to get very disenchanted, very quickly. If you need reassurance that your body is OK, remember rule number 1: ask him for it. Say, for example, “Do you find me attractive?”



NOT BEING ASSERTIVE DURING SEX



It’s an old, old stereotype: men lead, women follow. Well, that certainly shouldn’t be true all the time in sex. Even if you like him to be masculine and dominant during sex, or even if you like to feel as if you’re being “taken” sometimes, it’s just as nice for him to see your assertive side. Take the lead from time to time.



BEING CRITICAL OF HIS PERFORMANCE



Nothing but nothing will turn a man off faster than being critical. Instead, find a way of gently expressing your feelings.



BEING TOO INSECURE



You want the lights off, you have to be under the covers and you never want to take off your shirt. Yeah, that sounds like some really exciting sex. If he’s with you, it’s because he likes you. So it’s time you got over your insecurities and gave in to your flaws. You can do so with baby steps by lighting candles. You are all set, go with the flow

