Fruit Loops are just fabulous Cheerios... (S)

“One out of every eight boxes of cereal in this country is Cheerios. This is really the treat now for the homosexuals.”





If you looked at this with a sad frown, unable to understand why some people are unable to accept that QUILTBAGs are not lesser people, you have obviously not seen the video that this quote comes from. You see, while some people still feel the need to protest against gay marriage, not many are able to do it successfully...

In June, General Mills came out in support of marriage equality. The company stated that it was firmly against Minnesota putting an amendment into the Constitution that redefines marriage as “the union between one man and one woman”. This made a lot of people very angry – how dare a food company come out in support of something gay?? That’s just redefining marriage, obviously – according to Chuck Darrell, Communications Director for Minnesota for Marriage; “I think by taking this position General Mills is saying to Minnesotans and people all round the globe that marriage doesn’t matter to them." Maybe marriage doesn’t matter to them, Darrell, but they’ve just shown that love does.





One man in particular took offense to their stance, and armed with a camera crew and a box of Cheerios he went to General Mills’ headquarters in Minnesota and staged a protest. His intention was to burn the cereal in a bowl in front of their sign, in an act of ultimate defiance.





The problem with this was that Cheerios are apparently flammable as all hell. Couple this with the fact that he’d obviously skipped enough science lessons to have not realised that fire goes upwards (look at him holding the box right over the flames, what a rookie), and you have a quite substantial fire going on. I’m not sure why exactly Cheerios burn with the heat of a thousand suns, but you can see from the video that there is little to do except stamp on it and hope it burns itself out.





Clearly both Darwin’s natural selection and God’s interference were working together on this.









I'm not entirely sure why Cheerios haven't been investigated as an alternative fuel source to crude oil (looks about enough to power the US for the next few years, doesn't it), but what this video shows is a distinct problem in modern times. Well, a problem for anti-gay protesters at least. They're a joke! Either that or they're seen as definite crackpots or out of touch with reality. Seriously, you can name any anti-gay organisation; This guy? What an idiot, right? Westboro Baptist Church? Completely off their rocker. One Million Moms? Not nearly as numerous as their name implies. Mitt Romney and the Republicans? Sounds like a band, doesn't it? Well, he's a robot and on his first trip to show off his foreign relations skills he managed to anger almost everyone from all of the three countries he visited.





You'd think - what with the increased economic uncertainty, inability of millions to get access to healthcare, and Romney's threats to annul all gay marriages and civil partnerships if he gets voted in - the American people would have more important things to worry about than the political views of food. Whether it's a homophobic organisation-funding chicken or a gay-friendly cookie , all of the American organisations seem to be taking sides. Whether this is a good thing remains to be seen - a declaration of support may be nice, but would an organisation actually devote time or money to making equality (or on the other side of the fence, inequality) happen? Some do, some don't.



