NGARI, TIBET—In the wake of his six-month suspension for false claims of riding in a U.S. military helicopter downed by Iraqi rocket fire, sources confirmed Friday that NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams has ventured to a small hut in the remote Gangdisê Mountains in order to quietly meditate on the fickle nature of truth. “Truth itself is in many ways the one universal constant—that which indisputably conforms to reality. But the question remains: Can we as humans understand this concept, or are we forever thwarted by our own individual understanding of the world?” a bearded and unkempt Williams said, gently sipping plum flower tea and staring intently at a creek flowing between two distant snowcapped mountains. “Is truth absolute? Is reality absolute? Or are these concepts majestic castles we construct for ourselves and in which we alone may reside? Perhaps the only truth is that we do not know what is illusion and what is not.” At press time, after claiming to have “found [his] own truth in nature,” Williams had reportedly decided to remain in the mountains for the rest of his life and promptly submitted his resignation to NBC.

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