Stassi Schroeder opened up about her SUR-prising split from on-again, off-again boyfriend Patrick Meagher.

As previously reported, Meagher spontaneously broke up with the Vanderpump Rules star, 29, hours before the duo were set to board a plane for a romantic vacation in Mexico. But rather than canceling the trip altogether, the Bravo personality enlisted her best friend, Rachel O’Brien, to join her on the getaway.

Currently…. @rachaelnobrien, will you accompany me to Mexico, close the shades & feed me oatmeal on the trip I planned? If I see any ❤ shit, I may die. A post shared by Stassi Schroeder (@stassischroeder) on Aug 12, 2017 at 3:39pm PDT

Schroeder spoke candidly about the heartbreaking split during a new episode of her podcast, Straight Up With Stassi, which she recorded from the Mexican resort. “We get into an argument on our anniversary that he did not remember. Our four-year anniversary. Granted, OK, we broke up for a really long time, but we met four years ago on that day,” the New Orleans native recalled. “I didn’t even get a f–king daisy. Not even a weed. What did I get? I got told I was broke up with a day before our Mexican vacation that I already paid for.”

Although the fashion blogger gave the radio host a few hours to reconsider, he didn’t budge. “I start going crazy, like mindlessly sobbing, taking mad amounts of Xanax to calm down,” Schroeder continued. “I’m still on my Xanax. It’s the only way I can [get through]. My breakfast consists of milk and red wine and two eggs that I didn’t eat and bacon and a Xanax. And that’s pretty much how I feel.”

Despite the fact that she’s currently lounging poolside in paradise with a close pal, the model is still heartbroken. “I miss him every f–king minute. I’m going to cry. I don’t know how to bounce back from this. It’s the biggest deal,” Schroeder said through tears. “He couldn’t get on the plane. I made the effort. I got on the plane. I wore a harem pants jumpsuit to go on the plane and he couldn’t get on the plane. It’s pride. He was too prideful to [come on the trip and] that’s’ what makes it so much harder.”

Fuck it. A post shared by Stassi Schroeder (@stassischroeder) on Aug 15, 2017 at 5:00pm PDT

Overcome by emotions, Schroeder revealed that she still has feelings for her former flame. “We both really love each other. Four years later and I’m just as equally attracted to him as I was the day I met him. So I’m f–king confused and really upset. So it’s making it way harder,” she admitted.

She then ended the podcast by urging fans not to throw shade at Meagher, saying, “Please, I don’t want anyone to go and hate him. He’s a good guy. He’s a d–k for not f–king coming on this trip and breaking up with me for whatever f–king prideful reason that I know he regrets now, but he’s a wonderful person.”

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