Everything I've ever learned about scaling PHP—

I slept infront of my laptop for a year while scaling Twitpic, rolling over to restart Apache at 2am before drifting back to sleep, but when you're a startup- you do what you have to do.

What if your didn't have any single points of failure? Imagine if scaling wasn't frustrating and you could get back to what you do best- shipping code?

I'm going to teach you how to scale PHP

Stop playing sysadmin and get back to coding. You didn't sign up to put out fires and figuring out how to scale MySQL isn't exactly going to ship features any faster. You know that learning the intricaces of my.cnf is a waste of time, but you don't have another choice. In the book, you'll get a crash-course on every important tuning option, why it matters, and a quick formula to figure out the perfect settings for your hardware. Bliss.

Apache is crying itself to sleep everynight

You've heard alot about Nginx and horizontal scaling, and there're thousands of tutorials out there, but the quality ranges from abysmal to "this must be a joke", and when you finally find a good one, it's usually for Rails. I know what it's like to scramble around, reading bad advice on StackOverflow, copy-and-pasting config files from some message board hope that one of them finally works... pulling at your hair, swearing at the screen.

What if it didn't have to be this way? What if there was a single, high-quality resource of information on scaling PHP, on doing things the right way, that actually focused on PHP and not Rails, Node.js or the flavor of the week? Something that taught you scalable architecture and things you might run into when your only user isn't your mom?

Learn the perfect PHP stack, LHNMPRR

Okay, okay- nothing will ever be as catchy as LAMP ;-)

You'll master a new, more scalable stack called LHNMPRR (Linux, HAProxy, Nginx, MySQL, PHP, Redis, & Resque) that can scale just by throwing more hardware at. You'll be able to finally get your setup to be perfect, all while using a battle tested stack that's been proven to handle billions of requests.

Think of it as your Cheat Code for PHP <?php ↑↑↓↓←→←→BA ?>

You'll also see the exact configurations and technologies that were used and proven at massive scale— 22 billion HTTP requests per month, thousands of MySQL queries per second— basically a metric-truck ton of visitors.