Elsewhere we have Ned, the little cop who couldn’t, and a weather blogger who I don’t believe is actually paying her bills by blogging about the weather. Bullshit, is she. The characters are a bit like The Raggy Dolls reimagined by a dickhead.

“You’re trying to hide something. What is it, some new kind of twister caused by, what, runaway global warming?” Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the worst line of dialogue in cinema history. It’s delivered like the actress learned about sarcastic putdowns from watching Dawson’s Creek while taking bathsalts. Don’t judge, we’ve all done, if not that specifically, at least similar. Maybe. There are a lot of wonky lines in Tornado Warning, but that’s probably for the best. It’d be really frustrating to hear the cast fumble every single line if any of it was good.

It also features one of the weirdest car chases I’ve ever seen. It’s one driver aggressively pursuing another and screaming at him to warn him about driving into a tornado. So, he’s chasing him into the tornado to try to warn him about it. Then they try to run each other off the road. Even the tornado thought they were idiots.

So, anyway, it turns out the tornados are controlled by aliens. I was kind of disappointed the pregnant horse didn’t turn out to be an alien. I’d have made that the plot and called the film Neighliens. Anyway, in order to stop the alien tornados, they have to sit in a dark room and play with a laptop. The end involves the power going out, which switches off the battery operated laptop that no one has plugged in. The highlight of the big showdown, which is not actually big or a showdown, is three of the actors struggling to get a laptop out of its carry case. I know this all sounds horribly mean, but you watch Tornado Warning and let me know how nice you feel after.