"I haven't made any progress. I haven't really attained any happiness"

Fans of Japanese pop idols are notorious for the intensity and passion with which they follow their favored singers and groups. Sometimes their fandom veers into unhealthy territory: they may develop an obsession with their favorite idols (like Me-Mania in Perfect Blue), they may spend exorbitant amounts of money on their hobby, or they may find they've spent critical years of their lives in hopeless pursuits. The last of these is the realization that a certain idol enthusiast, who goes by the Twitter handle @ha739, came to.

In his searingly honest autobiographical webcomic, posted on Twitter on August 31, he describes his college years as happy and carefree. The idols he cheered for were always smiling at him, and he bonded with fellow idol fans. He neglected his studies, preferring to indulge with his friends and the cute girls he would shake hands with. "If a time came when I had to do my best, then I'd do my best then," he reasoned.







But before he knows it, he's 25, and he realizes he's spent his life cheering on other people. His friends have moved on — to their hometowns, to jobs, to girlfriends. The idols have "reverted to ordinary girls," gone to college, and started families. "Meanwhile, I haven't made any progress. I haven't really attained any happiness. I've just spent all my time waving glowsticks at girls as hard as I could." He lacks a girlfriend, savings, and qualifications; he's become someone "no one would want to be, even if they died." The comic ends on a dour note, with the author walking up a staircase representing life and wondering if it leads not to "a light brimming with hope," but to a noose instead.

If you've had a similar experience or realization, or just want to share your perspective, be sure to make a comment in the forums. (It might be prudent to note that, if you really feel that you've wasted your life on an obsession, suicide is not the answer.)

Source: Twitter via Yaraon!