DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our family is hosting Thanksgiving dinner for family friends. Every year when we meet for Thanksgiving, the mother of one of the families insists we take a walk before the dessert course. However, as the hosts, my family prefers other options, such as playing board games. Do you think this is our responsibility as hosts to take a walk with her? GENTLE READER: Surely the traditional division of Thanksgiving guests is those who fall asleep after the meal, those who want to watch television and those who get stuck doing the dishes. Miss Manners wouldn't think that you would have to deal with middle-of-the-meal demands. And you do not. The hosts need only promise to save a dessert for anyone who wants to go out for a walk. Add your comments to the discussion. Holidays & Celebrations | Etiquette & Ethics Read more in: Family & Parenting

Don't Let Family Members' Mockery Stop Your Writing Gracious Notes DEAR MISS MANNERS: Throughout my career and in my personal life, I have sent handwritten notes/letters to colleagues, friends and relatives to thank them for gifts and kind acts, and to offer congratulations or condolences as circumstances arise. At a family gathering, I overheard a small group of young adult relatives mocking my habit. They feel it is pretentious of me to send written thanks after having already thanked a relative in person for a birthday or holiday gift, and proclaimed it "creepy" that, after the sudden death of a close relative, I wrote condolence letters to his wife, brother, mother and stepfather. They are not aware I overheard these remarks, and I have attended subsequent family gatherings without letting on, but their words haunt me, and I feel hurt and embarrassed. Is my practice incorrect? Should I stop sending handwritten thank-you notes and letters of condolence to my relatives? GENTLE READER: Please tell Miss Manners that you do not really suspect your expressions of gratitude and sympathy of being wrong, on the opinion of people who sneer at graciousness. Their attitude is common among those who want to justify their own indifference to the feelings of those who are generous or bereaved. You should certainly not allow them to persuade you to be equally coarse. However, if you have occasion to write to one of the relatives who took part in that conversation, you might open your letter by saying, "I know you may consider it 'creepy' of me to write, but I dearly want to express my sincere gratitude/appreciation ..." If nothing else, this will instruct them to watch what they say in crowds. Add your comments to the discussion. Family & Parenting Read more in: Etiquette & Ethics