Every mom we know multitasks. And I am one to believe I can use an all-of-the-above approach, too. I can abandon Alaska and ambition myself for the presidency. I can get bored with my job and fight apathy. I can take the easy path out to work hard on a path for fruitfulness. I can move on selfishly and call it altruistically. I don’t need a title now when I can shake up the good ol’ boys and get a better title in the end.

You didn’t really think I was going anywhere, did you? I’m one of Google’s hot trends. We’re doing a fund-raising push this week on SarahPAC to destroy Obama’s attempt to destroy capitalism. And forget about Obama’s youth revolution. I posed for a cheesecake shot in Runner’s World with short-shorts and a crumpled American flag that’s destined to be on the bedroom wall of every conservative 12-year-old boy. It’s the metaphor, stupid! Heck yeah, I’m running! As I learned when I was a beauty contestant  flags and gams show you it’s about country.

And before you say anything though about the glam shots of me stretching and preening on the waterfront in my cute running outfits, don’t bother. That would be a sexist double standard.

Nobody said anything when Obama walked around in Hawaii without his shirt, showing off his washboard abs. Well, maybe they did, but I betcha they say more about me because, of course, we know by now, for some reason, a different standard applies to my decisions.

It’s just like when Obama, the One Who Must Be Obeyed, said his family was off-limits so everyone left them alone. But they never left mine alone. Thank goodness for that though because we hate being out of the limelight! It was a blast to see Bristol with my grandbaby Tripp on the cover of People as the ambassadress of abstinence!

It’s the same different standard with the dirt-digging behind these frivolous ethics complaints. As I told the reporters who chased me up here, if I were in the White House instead of Alaska, the Department of Law down there would look at some of the things that we’ve been charged with and automatically throw them out. Later, the media brats began making a big, fat ugly scene about there being no Department of Law in Washington.