ALBANY – The state of New York has politely asked Vermont and New Hampshire to refrain from public displays of affection after the two New England states continued to aggressively make out for over two hundred years. The lip-locked states have historically been rivals, but opposites apparently do attract in this case.

“Nobody wants to see that,” complained the Empire State, after centuries of watching New Hampshire and Vermont basically be all over each other. “Yeah, we feel up Connecticut from time to time, but on the DL. What these two are doing is just so in your face. It’s gross.”

If Vermont and New Hampshire ever come up for air, we will try to get a comment from them.