CARSON CITY, NV—Remarking at the social media user’s ability to immediately cut to the chase, sources confirmed Monday that a conspiracy theory posted on Reddit wasted absolutely no time getting racist. “Man, this guy didn’t even spend a complete sentence describing the cabal of globalists controlling world affairs before going full-tilt with this stuff about ‘Jew bankers’ and ‘intellectual inferiority,’” reported sources, noting that conspiracy theorists usually have the decency to make you read between the lines with references to George Soros or bankers, but this one just jumped warp-speed into calling out the “mongrelization” of the United States genetic pool. “For Christ’s sake, he could have at least buried some of these slurs. I’m only a few paragraphs in and he’s straight-up listing off the science of race. Honestly, I’m kind of insulted this guy doesn’t have enough faith in me to pick up on why ‘Western Civilization needs defending.’” The sources also stressed that despite the manifesto’s lack of nuance, it did make a few pretty good points.

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