uglynoodles May 28, 2009









That drat Satyr posted: I decided to go for it with the GoFundMe to try to get the funds to hire a lawyer. I don't know if I'll hit the goal I need, but I overcompensated anyway to account for fees.



I also reposted my story, a more succinct version of what I posted here in this thread (and with more screenshots!) to help promote it.



If you guys feel up to it, any help to even just spread my story would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to sound like I'm soliciting here - because I'm not, but retweets/reblogs would be appreciated.



http://brainmurk.tumblr.com/post/15...alkingnightmare

That drat Satyr is raising funds to hire a lawyer to fight their very own (and much, much, much, oh god so much worse) Denise. Read about it around page 190.



ORIGINAL TEXT FOLLOWS:



Denise is a girl I grew up with. Denise is a very special creature that, along with her equally-as-hosed-up cousin Melissa, believe themselves to be reincarnated dragon/demon/princesses/godkillers/angels/succubi whose powers are dominion over "the carnal arts" as they call them.



Both have never had a relationship, serious or otherwise, have never been kissed or touched in a romantic or sexual way, and at least one of the terrifying two does not know how to masturbate.



I know this because I grew up alongside this trainwreck. For many years I tried to help her think in a way that did not involve her being married to Heero Yuy from Gundam Wing, and later Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7, and then some time later, some guy from some animu yaoi sex game whose 'spirit' had 'possessed' a "dollfie" of hers. Or something. It's really hard to keep track of Denise's lore. I believe Melissa's husbands included Sesshomaru of Inu Yasha fame, Myotismon from Digimon, and some other characters I can't remember.



I tried to teach her that her body odours and constant layer of grease were not simply 'an inherited trait' that was unavoidable, but rather an accumulation of poo poo that could be washed away and kept up upon. I tried to teach her that pop songs were not written for her by stars who were being 'possessed' by Heero Yuy. I tried to teach her to go out and talk to guys.



I still remember the day she took me aside on the way to the cafeteria and when my ride into crazytown started.



Background



When I arrived wide-eyed and blinking into a new school in Grade Eight, I didn't know anybody. I was thirteen years old and altogether convinced that one day I would animate cartoons in Japan. I'd always been a bit of an awkward but friendly kid, and I was struggling in this new environment to meet friends. When I was sat next to a girl in Home Economics with a similar binder full of drawings, we hit it off instantly and became fast friends. Denise was a little bit awkward too, liked the same little-known cartoons I liked, played a lot of videogames too, and we came from similar troubled-home-life backgrounds. My parents split up when I was very young and my mother was a very angry person at the time who didn't know how to deal with her problems or what to take them out on. Denise's mother up and abandoned her and her father after a year of near continuous fighting. We had nobody else but each other, so no matter how weird what she was saying was, I stuck by her.



We're Receiving a Distress Signal...



A few months into the school year it was beginning to turn into winter. It was cold and daylight hours were shorter, and we were young teenagers with a lot of bad things going on at home. We didn't have anybody else but each other to talk to and often the subject broached boys. Neither of us had had a boyfriend and both of us were enduring screaming sex hormones and we just really really really wanted to touch some dudes okay and it was omg so frustrating that there were kids around us who were totally doing it and we weren't. Why weren't we good enough? It couldn't possibly be because with our powers combined we were Unapproachable Creepy Duo who hid in the corner and never talked to anybody else at all. It was actually because everybody else was a total moron. You know how it is.



It all started with fourteen words.







I had barely said, "What?" before Denise had launched into a tirade about her multi-dimensional existence and how her real self lived in another world as Magnolia, a princess living in a castle in the sky. Apparently this entire world was an elaborate trap designed to destroy souls and Heero Yuy was her beloved who fought tirelessly to get her out of here and back to her world. Her world, and their seven children.



"I know you believe in spirits and stuff," she said, having heard me mutter about some pagan thoughts once or twice. She knew I liked a particular character from an anime we both watched, and she said that I was simply another one of her kind who'd lost their memory. She said he was looking for me too and they were trying to help us escape. Denise looked so distraught. "I'm not crazy," she said.



She was my only friend in the world and I had to help her. We hadn't hung out much outside of school hours but ever since she spilled her 'secret' to me she invited me over a lot. I patiently listened as she explained about her idyllic life in a castle in the sky with Heero and how much she wanted to be with him. She told me how she had waited a long time to bring this up with me because she wanted to make sure I wouldn't abandon her.



Oh Please Tell Me Why... We Build Bullshit in the Sky



When I was at her apartment and we were hanging out in her room, Denise liked to put on the radio and "sing." I can't describe the sounds she made as anything more than "singing" as I'm not sure exactly what it was. She would mumble words she half-remembered in wildly flat and off-key tones, and she'd strike this pose like she was this moonlit, delicate princess serenading the night about her lost love. In fact I'm pretty sure that's what she thought she was doing. She would tell me afterwards that the songs were written about her by Heero Yuy possessing someone. To my recollection, she thought that this exact mix of Ordinary World (Aurora featuring Naimee Coleman - Ordinary World) was one of those made by Heero for her. When she was listening to this song she would often move exactly as the woman does in the video complete with cheesy as gently caress slow-mo and weird "sexy" head tilts. She also thought this song was written for her. (Hero - Enrique Iglesias) "Castle in the Sky" was another one. Apparently it was about her life as Magnolia. In her floating castle sky home place.









I need to go to bed now. SO. Ask me about anything I've already written, or tell me which story to tell tomorrow! I've mainly just started at the beginning, and I was 13 in 2001, so that gives you an indication of how long ago these bits were. I have more. Much more. So much more. Still to come is Melissa, a whole other person that proves nuttiness is genetic!



x. Magnolia is replaced by Parrier, who is a Demon. The worst demon ever.



x. "Totally Real Possession" and 'No Uglynoodles, I'm Not a Lesbian'



x. The Sex and Gender Talk



x. Denise retcons Heero Yuy into Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7. Astral babies ensue.



x. The Birthday Incident.



x. I Can't Help You, I'm Saving Up For My Dollfie



I have many more stories from the annals, but I'll give you the choices of these for now as I'm sure someone will ask me for elaboration on stuff I've already gone through!



//EDIT// 24.10.11

Denise is not affiliated in any way with Jen, Hojo, or any of the other "FF7 House" crew as documented on demonsushi.net, but I have had long chats with that site's webmaster and we have had many laughs late into the night about purple unwashed skirts, glitter, and Sephiroth. uglynoodles fucked around with this message at 22:58 on Oct 12, 2016