Margaret, I really do like this President. He is young and smart… and I think he is trying his best under bad circumstances to do the right thing and create change for good. Not easy these days… Sort of like your convincing Howard that seeing a doctor annually at his age is still preventative medicine. You’ve both got a tough sales job ahead of you.

I really do appreciate his trying to reach across the aisle – as they say – and get Republicans to work towards bipartisanship. But honey, that dog just don’t hunt. Trying to reach bipartisanship with this particular Republican Party will probably achieve bipolarism instead of bipartisanship.

Harsh? Well yes maybe I am being a bit harsh. Part of the problem? Well maybe that too. After all bipartisanship requires a little give and take from both sides. So who am I to suggest that the problem is mainly with the Republicans?

Good questions all of them – particularly because I was the one who asked them. You know me, Margaret. I’m always trying to play both sides of the same issue. Well what do you expect from a woman who invented the all pie diet?

To all my Republican readers out there – I have had quite enough of your nonsense.

Your party gave us Sarah Palin and George W. Bush – dumb and dumber. He’s the guy whose mission still isn’t accomplished and she’s the gal who couldn’t handle being governor of one of our least populous states. Even the “professional” wrestler was able to finish the job in Minnesota.

Your party had an issue with President Obama telling school children to stay in school and study hard. I guess a black man can’t be trusted with your children regardless of his credentials. And your party decided the tradition of separating church and state had an expiration date. You love the constitution but you seem to pick through that document the same way you pick through the Bible – with all the effectiveness of eating corn on the cob through a picket fence.

We are actively involved in two wars, but you just can’t understand why the deficit is so big? Regardless of what you have been told, every time a bomb is dropped, an angel doesn’t not get her wings. Hint: Defense spending represents almost one quarter of all federal spending.

Today’s Republican Party has an issue with abortion, but then fights against healthcare reform knowing full well that more than 9 million children lack health insurance. A stretch argument to be sure, but then again 18 19 Children and Counting is a big hit.

My party at least recognizes the need for increased access to birth control. Your party is pro-life right up until they cut the cord and then you turn your attention to electing judges who promote shortening the waiting time on death row.

And for Pete’s sake your party has an issue with gay people, but you gladly send your straight children to war while telling gays they cannot serve. This one, more than any other, has me scratching my head. Aren’ t you just delaying their eventual trip to Hell?

You actually have Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck as your spokesmen. Rush Limbaugh? Are you serious? Even the NFL didn’t want Limbaugh. And Beck… Glenn Beck? When people use the expression “nuttier than a fruitcake” Glenn Beck is the main ingredient.

The Republican Party of yesteryear was respectable. You were all about a small government that carried a big stick. Now you are just despicable. You used to be the Party of Lincoln and now – honest to God – you make Archie Bunker look progressive.

If it wasn’t for Fox News you would be irrelevent. That’s right. You have become a party that owes its entire existence to a cable news channel owned by an Aussie. Your mascot should be a kangaroo instead of an elephant. After all, the last guy you sent to the White House arrived there thanks to a kangaroo court ruling rather than an election. He then spent the next 8 years bringing our nation to its knees. How about sitting down and shutting your damn pie holes long enough to see if the guy in office now can actually clean up your mess. Honestly, you are embarrassing yourself.

Look. My party has problems too. It’s biggest problem might be in attempting to please everyone, the Democratic Party seems to please no one. But diversity of opinions is something I am willing to work through. Bigotry and ignorance is not. I mean it. Really.

Helen, dear, one of the many things I love about you is your ability to see the positive in just about every situation. Now it might take you a while to get there and it might involve scalping a Republican or two along the way, but eventually you do and life is a much better place for it. Now, could you please just explain to me why my Howard thinks now is the perfect time to get a good deal on a new Toyota? Honestly, Helen, that man will be the death of me yet.