I am a fat woman

I say this, and immediately the cacophony of voices rush to my ears.

‘NO, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!“

We have been told too long that fat and beauty cannot exist on the same plane.

Everywhere I go I see this

The War on Obesity has us in the trenches

Fat bodies shown headless like prisoners long gone to the guillotine.

My doctor says I need to lose 50 pounds while the duck lips are inside me

Free shaming with every pap smear, his sign should read.

I walk down the street and I hear the word: hippo.

Whale

Cow

Fat ass

Humanity has a weight limit of 150

The gym is the bane of my existence

I walk in and immediately feel the stares

The lithe and muscled bodies shun my fat presence

I am unable to comprehend the hate

Just 20 minutes ago I was told to be here

And now I hear the silent screams of the judgemental trainer

GET OUT FAT ASS! YOU DONT BELONG

"Nobody wants to see a fat girl in video games” I’m told

There are no fantasies of fat women

No alternate realities of love and affection and awe for the corpulent

I eat and I cringe as I hear the girl behind me

“I’ve lost my appetite looking at that”

I’m told my basic human needs are not as necessary as my weight loss

Lose 10 pounds quick

Get your sexy slim body today

Trim down the FAT

Such a crisis

Yet I still exist

Fat and beautiful and smart and kind

A goddess amongst mortals

Venus of Willendorf

Rubenesque Nymph

Glorified and exhaulted beyond measure

I exist

I am

I be