1 It Can Create Awkwardness With Your Friends

Remember what I said about swingers being picky about who, when, and where they'll fuck? Well, that means something more when you consider that swinging is something we just do for fun every now and then. Just like how you and your significant other may decide to go out for a fancy dinner as a way to be romantic on a Saturday, my wife and I may decide to unleash a fuck storm as ours. Despite what the term "lifestyle" may imply, it doesn't actually consume our lives.

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Yet some people seem to think we're looking to fuck anyone, anytime, anywhere. The worst is the (invariably male) acquaintance who somehow finds out about our lifestyle and is just a tad too eager with his questions -- or worse, his touching. He finds out we're swingers, and all of a sudden he thinks it's okay to touch my wife in a sexual way without any invitation from her. At best, these acquaintances come across as desperate. At worst, they feel like the opening scene of a horror movie.

Among our more tolerant (and less creepy) friends, though, awkwardness can occur too. Ever since my wife and I "came out" to our vanilla friends, most of them have accepted our lifestyle openly, and some have even been curious. Every now and then, though, we'll notice a slight physical discomfort with our presence -- like if I put my arm around a female friend, I may catch her recoiling or stiffening ever so slightly, as though she's suddenly uncomfortable with the mere thought of me touching her. My wife has noticed the same thing with a few of our male friends. It's a subtle difference in how they now respond to physical affection from us -- physical affection that was always accepted warmly in the past.

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I guess it makes sense, though. Once you find out your friends are into stuff like this, it's easy to think, "Shit, he just put his arm around me. He's about to whip out his hog and take me on a tour of Hog City." The subtle recoils we get are reminders of the hurdles we ourselves had to overcome during our three-year journey to becoming swingers.

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Check out Robert Evans' A Brief History of Vice: How Bad Behavior Built Civilization, a celebration of the brave, drunken pioneers who built our civilization one seemingly bad decision at a time.