ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Short of running out the front door and throwing himself under the D45 bus to the French Quarter, there’s no real escape for one local man who is currently trapped in a conversation with an errant family member.

Douglas Pearson, of Betoota Heights, spoke candidly to The Advocate just a short moment ago over his back fence about his Aunty Deb, who was giving him an earbashing to end all earbashings .

“She corners everybody and goes over their zodiac,” he said.

“Every year. And it’s never anything positive. Last Christmas, she told my brother that he was going die. Honestly to every God there is, she said that right to his face. What a psycho!”

“Anyway, this year she reckons my new missus is going to jump the fence on me because I’m a Gemini and she’s a Leo. If she does, it won’t be because of my starsign. No, no, no. It’ll be because of something far, far more dark and painfully personal. But yeah, nah. Gotta run back inside, mate. Cheers.”

Douglas left after asking for two darts and a promise to check back in on last light.

More to come.