I always knew there were some bizarre books out there, but I was not aware quite how bizarre until researching this post. Here are 13 books that I consider to be bizarre. I have added pithy comments/fictitious dialogue below each.

Gadsby: A Lipogram Novel

This 50,000+ word lipogram novel claims not to use the letter e.

How many e’s can you spot on the front cover?

Highlights in the History of Concrete

If you’re going to go to the trouble of writing a book about the history of concrete, you might as well tell the whole story.

Sexual Analysis of Dickens’ Props

I always knew that chair in Oliver Twist had sexual connotations, but no one would listen.

The Big Book Of Lesbian Horse Stories

One Amazon reviewer claims that The Big Book Of Lesbian Horse Stories is merely a normal sized book of lesbian horse stories.

Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say “No” to Drugs

This is how I imagine Latawnya the Naughty Horse learns how to say ‘No’ to drugs.

Someone walks into Latawnya’s stable holding some drugs.

Person: ‘Hi Latawnya you naughty horse, would you like some drugs?’

Latawnya: ‘Neighhhh.’

‘Let’s try that again shall we. Would you like some drugs?’

‘Neighhhh.’

‘Would you like some drugs?’

‘Neighhhno.’

Latawyna has learnt to say no to drugs. Have you?

Castration: The Advantages and the Disadvantages

You mean to say there are disadvantages.

How to Speak Cat: The Essential Primer of Cat Language

Purr whilst rubbing against someone if you want something, arch your back and hiss if you are angry, meow for everything else.

Anybody Can Be Cool– But Awesome Takes Practice

Oh, awesome takes practice! That explains why I’ve been stuck on cool for so long.

How to Avoid Huge Ships

Don’t go on cruises or swim in harbours.

Why Not Eat Insects?

Why not indeed!

How Green Were the Nazis?: Nature, Environment, and Nation in the Third Reich

The Nazis may have killed millions of people, but when it came to recycling…

Dating for Under a Dollar: 301 Ideas

Go to McDonald’s with your date and order a grilled onion cheddar burger from the dollar menu, then pull out 99c and plead until they let you off the 1c. Now cut the burger in 2 and give her/him half, but with all the onions.

Date: ‘All the onions? That’s so kind. Are you sure?’

You: ‘Yes I’m sure. Now eat them before I change my mind.’

Does GOD Ever Speak through CATS?

Cat: ‘Meow! Meow! Purr, purr, meow, hiss! MEOW! MEOW!’

Person: ‘Are you sure God? We already have 10 Commandments, do we really need an 11th?’

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