[UPDATE BELOW] If your internet is acting funky this morning, don't panic: it's just Time Warner Cable undergoing a massive outage! So, you know, typical TWC stuff. Somebody please check on Sir Patrick Stewart, he really took this hard the last time it happened.

before anyone at @twcable_nyc asks yes I’ve rebooted. laptops & modem. I wrote a book about it http://t.co/IN4hk3xOKd — joe reiter (@joereiter) October 19, 2013

.@TWC_NYNJ I called to report the outage to support at 9:15. Rep blamed my wireless router, instead of your widespread lack of service. — Paul Hart (@paulhart1) October 19, 2013

I've pretty much gotten used to @timewarnercable shitting all over my dick — Frank Ward (@2beFrankk) October 19, 2013

And of course on weekend that I plan to do a ton of work, there's an outage in the entire area. Thanks @twcable_nyc 😡 — Fawnia Soo Hoo (@fawnianewyork) October 19, 2013

@Jessedegenerate @twcable_help thanks jesse. sad nobody at twc can respond to the issue. — joe reiter (@joereiter) October 19, 2013

Is Time Warner Cable internet down for other people in NYC or just my sad apartment? — Stephanie Haberman (@StephLauren) October 19, 2013

Half the interweb domains are not working. Including the ones I need for work files. Major outage in NY. Thanks Time Warner Cable. — zeh fernando (@zeh) October 19, 2013

Time warner cable is really dropping the ball right now — Louie Puig (@Lbo9129) October 19, 2013

.@TWC_NYNJ has been down all morning. Related: I fucking hate Time Warner. — The Resident (@TheResident) October 19, 2013

Optimum customers may also be experiencing some outages as well. If you're into acts of contrition, the TWC Help Twitter account has been apologizing to everyone very politely.

Update 12:46 p.m.: Yep, outages are still going strong. On the bright side, though, TWC is "investigating." Also, they're #sorry.

Outages totally suck but we are investigating. Apologies to all our patient customers. We will post update ASAP as we get it. #sorry — Time Warner Cable (@TWC_NYNJ) October 19, 2013

Update 2:55 p.m.: Time Warner Cable says that the outages should be fixed now: