



Toronto, ON: A stone's throw from the University of Toronto's eastern border lies Brass Rails, an innocence-annihilating Gentlemen's Club boasting the same acronymic classification as the more sartorially-inclined Brennan Hall (listed as BR under the University of Toronto building code directory ). First-year mechanical engineering student Marco Fernandez tragically conflated the two locations, inadvertently stumbling into the former venue and remaining inside for "upwards of 30 minutes". "There were tons of guys inside and a few sleeping in the back so I thought I was in the right lecture hall," said the timid mechanical engineer. "I've seen similar shit at Bahen," he continued.

At around 7:30pm, he says, the gravity of the situation registered. "I dropped an 'F-Bomb" and hightailed it outta' there. I chuckled to myself, but then when I got outside my knees just buckled and I proceeded to ruminate, cross-legged, on Yonge St."

Name has been changed to protect the identity of the victim.



