[Warning: spoilers for 13 Reasons Why season 3, ahead.]

Alright, 13 Reasons Why fam, we’re about to get into it. Believe me, I know this show is controversial and we’re not always going to agree, but there’s something happening on Twitter that I feel we need to address: our collective hate-on for Ani Achola.

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I was scouring the social media dumpster fire in hopes of answering one question: Did 13RW fans believe Bryce Walker was redeemed or nah? And for the most part, the answer was a resounding no. Okay, whew, that’s great. Unfortunately, I found something else that was kind of disturbing.

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Turns out, many people were struggling with how Bryce’s attempts at redemption made them feel. That’s okay! In fact, that’s exactly what the series was trying to accomplish. Clearly, the writers were hoping to prove that people are complex, and labeling all rapists and killers as sociopathic monsters is just a way of letting ourselves off the hook for things like rape culture and internalized misogyny. Sure, I personally was not down for the humanization of a guy who confessed to raping at least 10 girls, but I understand what they were trying to say.

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What I can’t fathom, however, is how so many 13 Reasons Why fans are spewing violent vitriol against the new girl. If you’re able to feel sympathy for Bryce—even against your own will—how can you turn around and wish harm on a character who, in comparison, hasn’t really done anything at all?

Don’t get me wrong, she’s awful. Ani is a new player who inserts herself into everyone’s business despite her own ignorance of their history, she sleeps with Bryce even after she learns what he did to her supposed friend Jessica, and she is a straight-up rape apologist. But how can we have more hate for Ani than we do for Jessica’s actual rapist?

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I have a theory. The threshold we have for tolerating women is simply much lower than it is with men. Think about it: Why do famous men get canceled? Chris Brown went down beating up Rihanna (which didn’t stop Drake from collabing with him), Pete Davidson is currently being slammed for using offensive slurs, and a whole slew of men have finally been taken down in the wake of Me Too.

Meanwhile, it seems we shunned Anne Hathaway for years for...trying too hard? Taylor Swift is never woke enough and her fake shock at her own success is the actual worst. Daisy Ridley “ruined Star Wars” (she didn’t). Men have to be violent or cause some kind of harm to earn our scorn, but women just have to be annoying.

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This same staggering imbalance is happening right now with Ani on 13 Reasons Why. Ani wasn’t even the only one who cut Bryce slack in season 3. Justin went to him for drugs and help with Seth. Alex hung out with Bryce in order to get his “friends discount” on steroids, even going on a fun lil trip to meet a prostitute together. Considering their close relationships with Jessica, these are the last two people in the world who should have given Bryce the time of day.

Many people are going so far as to declare Ani the “worst character” on a show that involves two rapists, a groper, a dude who let his friend rape his girlfriend, and an actual murderer. I’m sorry, but I don’t think so. Something is seriously wrong with this picture.