A friend of mine on Facebook shared a video thats been quickly garnering popularity in conservative circles online. The video was posted by Ali Kassak, your standard “car guy” on FB. You know the type, thirtyish, white, never really grew out of the foundational texts of Family Guy or South Park.

The video in question shows what the viewer can only assume is Mr. Kassak in his driveway, watching Greta Thurnburgs now infamous address to the UN. The laptop rests gently on his lap. His boots propped up on an American flag themed beach chair. The reflection of Ali, holding his phone is visible like a double exposure photo in the laptop’s screen. He cracks open a beer. There is an American flag fluttering tastefully in the corner of the shot, next to his Cadillac.

“So he’s gonna shoot the laptop.” My assumption for the video’s climax. Conservatives love breaking their own stuff to prove a point.

But the direction this video took was much more pitiful than a simple computer assassination.

I’m not a car guy, my dad never talked to me growing up. So I can’t be sure about the next part. But either an unseen associate of Ali’s was working the pedals, or there’s some “Push-to-Rev” feature built in to the vehicle. The engine of the car begins to roar, drowning out Greta’s stolen childhood speech.

The epitome of Small Dick Energy. Which is no stranger to the average Republican Poster, but rings especially true here.

Imagine getting so triggered by a teenager that you film a video of yourself polluting, and treating it like patriotism.

The video has reached a level of popularity that Ali’s posts very seldom match. Having been shared thousands of times in one day. This is obviously his first big hit, because his About Me info is still public. He lives in Ocala for instance, we’re practically neighbors.

By all accounts, he has posted cringe. But will it cost him subscribers?

If anything this video is a perfect lens to view the various manifestations of Right-Wing thought. The deranged, self-spiting thoughtlessness that is required to live in dissonance with reality.

Climate change is real, its happening, and its going to kill a lot of people. Greta is right. Her generation will die in a world of pestilence and violence. My children will suffer the same fate, as I will grow old and watch it happen to them. This is the curse that Mankind’s hubris has wrought. We might survive, we might not. But if the reaction to this video is any indicator of the average citizens mindset, I’ll see you in the Water Wars.

Of the thousand of comments, most are just tagging other dumb reactionaries to watch the car make noise. Which isn’t as political as I’d hope.

But the non “hey look” posts reveal the inner workings. What really makes them tick.

You may notice a lack of scientific rebuttals to her claims. This is mostly attributed to there not being any. But it’s also because they don’t care.

To the reactionary, there is no greater sin than demanding introspection. Asking someone to examine their own choices and how they relate to the world is far more egregious than threatening to kill a child. Which happens several times over the comments.

There were dozens of other videos in the comments displaying self-uploaded scenes of the commentators themselves “rolling coal” to make people who care about the environment angry.

Besides displaying the toddler like mindset of right-wingers, of which we certainly don’t need another article about, it betrays the insidious feat that Capital has pulled on the American public.

Consumption is American, consumption is patriotic, and anyone asking you to consume less is anti-American.

The sweeping structural changes needed to survive the coming ecological collapse start at top levels. After all, the individuals impact on carbon outputs is tiny. While corporations pollute at levels most Americans couldn’t even grasp.

But because the ecological justice movement has been hijacked by Capital, it will not turn inwards. Instead they tell us to turn our lights off. Walk to work, don’t eat meat one day a week. Buy an incredibly expensive hybrid, high efficiency lighting, eco-friendly laundry sauce. As long as you’re still buying something, then Capital is fine.

But what will actually make genuine, helpful impacts on our world, is just consuming less. The rare earth minerals used in our phones wouldn’t be as ruthlessly mined from the planet if we didn’t need to buy a new model every year. If Amazon hadn’t normalized the concept of cross continental shipping done in under a week, then we wouldn’t need fleets of vehicles creating emissions.

So when we attack the unsustainable levels of consumption across the developed world, we now also attack the country that so many stupid people pretend to love. American patriotism has been a vehicle for unsavory capitalists to sneak their agendas into real life for generations. Look at what the anti-war movement faced in the early aughts. Hundreds of thousands dead in Iraq, from a war based on proven lies. And when anyone had the audacity to question why America needed to destabilize an entire region just so the execs at Halliburton could make more money, they were derided as traitors.

Capital has crafted a narrative that was devoured by the ravenous American public. Climate Activists aren’t demanding more accountability on a societal scale, they’re coming after your toys. And as I’ve mentioned before, Right-Wingers will sign on to any atrocity you’d like if they can keep their toys.

I’m personally in the “We Lost” camp. Some people are more optimistic than I. I hope that someone is able to craft an adoptable narrative about holding those in power accountable, while still allowing losers like Mr. Kassak to own their toys. “There won’t be enough gas for your chop chop if the military uses it all in Iran.” That might work, who knows?

For now I’ll leave you with a man saying the same thing twice about raping a child.

Stay classy John.

This is our world now, these are the people in charge, and we’re all going to die. Goodnight folks.