It is officially the month of June.

These are exciting times, folks.

We are not only on the cusp of celebrating Accordion Appreciation Month, but are also now societally aloud to make bold and outrageous predictions about the upcoming NFL season without suffering any repercussions of ridicule or mockery.

If someone were to tell me last June that Peyton Manning would lead the troops to Super Bowl 50 with a 67.9 passer rating while nearly leading the NFL in interceptions thrown, I would have giggled like a school girl and written them off as an unintelligent blockhead.

The uncertainty of sports is what makes them so entertaining, but I am about to spoil your fun with the most accurate predictions on this side of the Mississippi. So go snag your AccordiCarl tee-shirts from deep within your closet and join me on a journey of futuristic prophecy.

Week 1: Carolina Panthers at Denver Broncos

Remember when Cam Newton threw a hissy fit like an eight-year-old who has to share his Playstation? He will immediately get his chance at redemption against the defense that made him look like a poor man’s Johnny Manziel in Super Bowl 50.

Although the Panthers cut ties with Josh Norman, who has since signed a monstrous $75 million contract with the Washington Redskins, they are still quite possibly the biggest threat in the NFC. Newton is coming off an MVP season and has only increased his arsenal of weapons with a healthy Kelvin Benjamin, who missed all of the 2015 season due to an ACL injury suffered in training camp. Sports Illustrated ranked the Carolina Panthers as the second best team in the NFL entering OTAs, but they will be the first team to receive a loss in the 2016 season.

No doubt. The Broncos defense will manhandle the Panthers once again. With a home crowd and a relatively similar defensive roster, Denver will come out stronger and more aggressive then they were in San Francisco.

Newton will get sent to bed without dinner after coach Ron Rivera finds his legos scattered all throughout the locker room.

Carolina Panthers – 20

Denver Broncos – 23

Week 2: Indianapolis Colts at Denver Broncos

Now that the Colts don’t have a 40-year-old quarterback at the helm in Matt Hasselbeck, who is most well-known for his “we want the ball, and we’re gonna score” debacle against the Green Bay Packers, they are actually equipped to be atop the AFC South once again. With a healthy Andrew Luck and an advantageous playmaker in T.Y. Hilton, they are always going to be a threat of posting enormous offensive numbers any given Sunday.

The Broncos offense will struggle and the Colts will put up just enough points to squeak out a victory.

Indianapolis Colts – 20

Denver Broncos – 16

Week 3: Denver Broncos at Cincinnati Bengals

The last time the Broncos faced Cincinnati, Brandon McManus duck-hooked his game winning field goal like a post-affair Tiger Woods. Luckily he got another opportunity in overtime and drilled it home for a 20-17 Denver win.

The Broncos might have used up their good luck token last season, and they might need another one as the Bengals are always tough to beat at home. Since the start of the 2013 season, the Bengals have only lost four times at home. Between Giovanni Bernard, Jeremy Hill, A.J. Green, and Andy Dalton the Bengals have more offensive assets then they know what to do with. They are also incredibly strong on the defensive side of the ball as their defense only gave up a mere 17.4 points a game last season, second fewest in the NFL.

The Bengals get the lead early and pad it with an abundance of field goals. The Broncos are beaten squarely during their first road game of the season.

Denver Broncos – 10

Cincinnati Bengals – 19

Week 4: Denver Broncos at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

After signing Doug Martin to a $7 million a year deal, the Buccaneers have had a fairly blah offseason. They did bolster their secondary by drafting Vernon Hargreaves, III with the 11th overall pick in the NFL draft and by signing ex-Dolphin Brent Grimes. But with Grimes comes his sharp tongued wife known for her twitter rants not fit for family entertainment. That’s a liability in of itself. Although improved, the Buccaneers are still not fit to compete with some of the NFL’s elite.

The Broncos will have no problem handling Tampa Bay a loss. Running back C.J. Anderson will have a big game on the ground and the defense will find their mojo.

Miko Grimes will immediately take to social media to rip on the entire city of Tampa Bay.

Denver Broncos – 27

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – 6

Week 5: Atlanta Falcons at Denver Broncos

Let’s call a spade a spade. Matt Ryan is overrated. He has done less with more than almost any quarterback in the last decade. With that being said, it is tough to count out any roster that has Julio Jones on it, but the No Fly Zone is too well-equipped to let him go crazy.

Jones will have a big day, but the Broncos secondary will keep him out of the end zone.

Atlanta Falcons – 13

Denver Broncos – 24

Week 6: Denver Broncos at San Diego Chargers

Do we even need to touch this?

Phillip Rivers will do his usual scowl and whine routine that would give Joffrey Baratheon a run for his money. Mark Sanchez will have his first three touchdown performance in a Broncos uniform and Denver will steamroll in San Diego, once again.

Denver Broncos – 34

San Diego Chargers – 10

Week 7: Houston Texans at Denver Broncos

Is there any game in 2016 that is more anticipated then Brent coming back to the city of Denver?

I think not.

Brock Osweiler played an intricate part in helping Denver win their third Super Bowl title in franchise history, but Broncos fans seem to have some strong distaste for their ex-quarterback. I am obviously under the impression, like many others, that $18 million a year for Brent’s services are somewhat comical, but I cannot blame him for chasing the dollar signs down to Texas. Although, Civic Pride will always trump logical thinking, and that is why this game seems to mean a bit more for Broncos Country.

Player announcements might be the best part of Brock’s day as the No Fly Zone will prevent the Texans from doing much on offense while Sanchez does just enough to keep the Broncos offense afloat to spoil Brent’s homecoming.

Houston Texans – 13

Denver Broncos – 16

Week 8: San Diego Chargers at Denver Broncos

…Next.

San Diego Chargers – 16

Denver Broncos – 28

Week 9: Denver Broncos at Oakland Raiders

I didn't know finishing a game under .500 constitutes for an influx of band wagoners…. pic.twitter.com/40XnqitYa7 — Alex Acton (@alacton) May 4, 2016

This is quite possibly the most amusing meme I have seen in my entire life.

Yes, I am sure that all eleven fans that jumped off the bandwagon during Lane Kiffin’s tenure are clawing their way back on the bus after last season’s 7-9 record. Those fans definitely don’t have enough time to take a trip to Party City for eye patches and wooden legs when so much of their day is spent standing in line to trade their Kobe jerseys in for Curry ones. Plus who in their right mind would ever voluntarily step foot in O.co Coliseum?

The Raiders, however, have improved drastically over the last few seasons. They have finally found a quarterback who they can build a team around in Derek Carr, and have one of the best pass rushers in the league with Khalil Mack. Adding safety Karl Joseph in the draft was a great move, and Amari Cooper might have already reached elite status. The Raiders will absolutely compete for the AFC West this season.

In a back-and-forth afternoon in front of a rambunctious 50,000 fans, the Raiders will score late in the fourth quarter to hand Denver their first divisional loss of the season.

Denver Broncos – 17

Oakland Raiders – 27

Week 10: Denver Broncos at New Orleans Saints

The best thing about the city of New Orleans certainly isn’t their sports teams, but all about those beignets at Cafe Du Monde. The Saints have put together back-to-back painfully mediocre seasons for their fanbase. The worst part about it is that everyone and their sister knows where they fall short. Spoiler alert… its on the defensive side of the ball.

Over the last two seasons, the Saints have finished 31st in total yards allowed, and gave up the most points in the entire NFL last season. These are issues that they clearly focused on this offseason by bringing in defensive tackle Nick Fairly and using their twelfth overall pick to snag defensive end Sheldon Rankins. Although the defensive gaps not been entirely closed, progress has definitely been made.

This game is the first and only shootout that the Broncos defense will be in. Drew Brees will put together another great season statistically, but fall short against the Broncos after a failed attempt to convert a fourth down deep in Denver territory.

Denver Broncos – 34

New Orleans Saints – 28

Week 12: Kansas City Chiefs at Denver Broncos

The Broncos will split with the Chiefs this season, but this won’t be the game they lose. Alex Smith is, and will always be, a check-down master. If he’s throwing the ball over eight yards, then he should definitely go through the concussion protocol. The Chiefs found a goldmine in Marcus Peters last season, but might be on the back end of Jamaal Charles career. They will likely be the Broncos toughest divisional foe.

With a bye week to rest some the defense, the Broncos roll easy in this one.

Kansas City Chiefs – 9

Denver Broncos – 23

Week 13: Denver Broncos at Jacksonville Jaguars

The Broncos will lay an egg at least once next season, and it likely could be in Jacksonville, Florida. The Jaguars have improved on both the offensive and defensive sides of the ball year-after-year. Blake Bortles showed that he is developing nicely under center and has two incredible weapons in Allen Hurns and Allen Robinson. Plus, one can only have so many top ten draft picks without eventually being pretty darn good. If the Jaguars stay healthy they will be solid next season.

Jaguars win in a stunner.

Denver Broncos – 16

Jacksonville Jaguars – 17

Week 14: Denver Broncos at Tennessee Titans

Wait.

So the Titans traded for DeMarco Murray and then drafted Derrick Henry? I am so confused by this logic, but they may be on to something here. The NFL is becoming more of a running back by committee league, but a lot of analysts don’t think Henry is a running back by committee kinda guy. It was definitely a head-scratcher, and the Titans will suffer until they figure out which running back reminds them most of Eddie George.

The Sanchize, after feeling the pressure in Denver to start Paxton Lynch, has a terrific afternoon by racking up over 250+ yards passing and multiple touchdowns. C.J. gets in on the action and the Broncos win easy.

Denver Broncos – 27

Tennessee Titans – 14

Week 15: New England Patriots at Denver Broncos

This game will almost assuredly have playoff implications. With Rob Gronkowski on the cover of EA Sports’ Madden 16 this year, he will definitely be absent by week 15 due to the Madden curse. But Brady is on a mission after serving a four-game suspension earlier in the season and the Patriots will sneak out of Denver with a close victory.

New England Patriots – 19

Denver Broncos – 17

Week 16: Denver Broncos at Kansas City Chiefs

A primetime game in Arrowhead Stadium on Christmas evening. Does it get any better than that? Unfortunately it is not going to be a very Merry Christmas in the Mile High City.

On a cold, blustery night in Kansas City, the Broncos fall short in a low scoring affair.

Denver Broncos – 6

Kansas City Chiefs – 10

Week 17: Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos

This game will decide on playoff seeding, one way or another. The Broncos, Raiders, and Chiefs will all be in contention for a playoff spot on the final day of the season. Although nothing can be as dramatic as Manning firing up a 20-point second half comeback to beat the Chargers like last season, this one will come down to the final minutes.

Brandon McManus will poke a 33-yard field goal through the uprights for a season split with the Raiders.

Oakland Raiders – 21

Denver Broncos – 24

There you have it.

The Broncos will finish the season 10-6. Their roster is too talented to not be one of the premier teams in the AFC once again. Whether Mark Sanchez or Paxton Lynch gets the start at the quarterback position, it almost seems unfathomable that their offense could perform as poorly as it did last season. But on the same hand it seems highly unlikely that their defense can be as dominating and disruptive as they were last season. The AFC West is miles better than it has been in recent years, and that could present some problems for Denver, but I would suspect a 10-6 season to win the division depending on how the tie-breakers fall.

Just remember. I might be a cretin with far-fetched prophecies, but as of now I am shooting 100 percent.