Washington Wizards Player Grades: Week 23

Hark! The Washington Wizards are coming in hot towards the playoffs… is what I would have said, were I not writing this after a 37-point loss to the Brooklyn Nets.

As they so often tend to do, the Wizards ran the full gamut of emotions this week. We cheered after they pulled out a big road win against a very good Memphis Grizzlies team. We laughed when the hapless Philadelphia 76ers tried to stop Marcin Gortat from smashing them into the ground. And we would have cried on Friday night, had Bojan Bogdanovic not melted all our eyeballs out of our skulls.

The Nets loss should just about kill DC’s chances at homecourt advantage in the first round of the playoffs, but whatever. The Wizards could be playing worse ball, Friday night aside. Just get everyone healthy.

Let’s grade.

Mandatory Credit: Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports

John Wall: 18.0 PPG (46.7 FG%), 6.0 RPG, 14.0 APG

I don’t usually give entries to players who only played in one game, but John Wall is the exception, because he’s Optimus Dime.

Wall put in a world-class performance on both ends of the court in DC’s win over Memphis, before getting two nights of much-needed rest against Philadelphia and Brooklyn. It was nice to see that a Ramon Sessions-run Wizards team could effortlessly dice through the Sixers, but against Brooklyn we saw just how valuable Wall is to this team.

It’s one thing to rip up one of the worst teams in the league, but the Nets, while not exactly world-beaters themselves, actually had something to play for. With Wall on the bench, the Wizards offense was, at its worst, Division II college-level. The Wizards are tossing away their meager chance at homecourt advantage by letting Wall sit, but having a rested and healthy John Wall is more important.

Continue praying until further notice.

Grade: A

Mandatory Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Bradley Beal: 21.7 PPG (55.1 FG%), 3.7 RPG, 2.0 APG, 1.0 SPG

Well boy howdy, the Big Panda’s hitting his stride at the right dang time.

He still isn’t shooting threes at the rate we all want (not-very-fun fact: Brad only has two games of five or more triples this year) but he’s showing increasing confidence while driving to the basket, and his midrange touch has been a lot better in the last couple of weeks.

Beal is on his best scoring run of the season, having topped 20 points in four of his last five games, and boy do the Washington Wizards need it. Is 2014 Playoff Beal returning?

Grade: A

Mandatory Credit: Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports

Paul Pierce: 6.5 PPG (45.5 FG%), 3.5 RPG, 3.0 APG

Yo, remember when Paul Pierce was awesome? I mean, I can understand some decrease in production: he’s an old man playing reduced minutes (and resting some games) for a team that’s more or less locked into their spot. But I’d be a little more encouraged if Pierce would actually make himself noticeable in the minutes he actually does play.

Pierce isn’t really featured in the offense right now, and it doesn’t help that he’s shooting less than 20 percent from long range over the past three weeks or so.

It’s enough to give a man pause… until you realize that he’s Paul friggin’ Pierce and he’s just playing possum or something until the playoffs where he’ll morph into a giant lizard alien from the Paleolithic Era and destroy all his opponents with his razor-sharp claws.

Grade: C-

Mandatory Credit: Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports

Drew Gooden: 7.0 PPG (36.4 FG%), 5.0 RPG, 2.7 APG

The Continued Competence of Drew Gooden took another step against Memphis, where Big Drizzle barbecued a 52-win team to the tune of 16 points on 3-5 shooting from deep. Then he went 0-8 against the Nets.

Wild inconsistency is the name of Drew Gooden’s game, but when he’s going well, everything just kind of works. It’s enough to really make you wonder what the Washington Wizards could accomplish with a stretch four who isn’t 33 years old.

It’s a weird development that Drew Gooden has even become a stretch four – he spent most of his career as a hustle big who had a shooting touch but didn’t stray out to the perimeter that much, and even more seldom hoisted up threes. At any rate, the Wizards desperately need an upgrade.

Might I suggest Frank “The Tank” Kaminsky?

Grade: C+

Mandatory Credit: Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

Marcin Gortat: 15.0 PPG (76.0 FG%), 10.3 RPG, 3.5 APG, 1.7 BPG

Marcin Gortat is dominating to a near-comical extent. Watching him against the Sixers on Wednesday was like watching Godzilla fight a bunch of nuns, as the Polish Hammer has continued to get whatever he wants on the offensive end.

Yes, he did really shoot 76 percent this week: let’s try and guess why. Are the Washington Wizards actually running plays that fit into his strengths and get him moving towards the basket? NO FRIGGIN’ DOY. Let’s get one of the best pick-and-roll weapons in the game actually DOING THAT.

What a novel concept.

Grade: A