I’m on record with my thoughts that the Robert Mueller testimony, scheduled for tomorrow, is dumb. Robert Mueller wrote a 450-page report. He has said that the report “is my testimony.” He is an accomplished witness who will come to the hearings armed with 39 different synonyms for “read my report.” The entire Democratic strategy since Mueller released his report in April has to been to beg Robert Mueller to make impeachment easier for them, and tomorrow is going to go no better on that front than the previous four months.

I’ve read the report (twice). I’ve been led to believe that the main Democratic strategy is to get Mueller to read his report aloud, in hopes that people who didn’t read the report, didn’t listen to the audiobook, and didn’t go to the performance of the Mueller Report by trained actors will, now, finally, listen to the report. Afterwards, I expect that the Democrats will ritualistically lead a horse to water and then shout at it until it starts drinking.

It’s all so pointless, but if I had five minutes in a public hearing with the man, I’d waste little time on getting him to recite what is in the report. I’d focus on the shocking incompleteness of his report, in my subversive attempt to get Nancy Pelosi and weak Democrats to finish what Mueller started.

Isn’t it true that Donald Trump did not cooperate with your investigation?

Isn’t it true that Trump refused to conduct a live interview, under oath?

Is it true that Attorney General William Barr denied your request to subpoena the president?

Is it true that Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein denied your request to subpoena the president?

Is it true that former Acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker denied your request to subpoena the president?

Is it your testimony that you did not have the authority to subpoeana the president?

Is it your testimony that you never even asked William Barr, Rod Rosenstein, or Matthew Whitaker if you had the authority to subpoena the president?

Can you please refer me to the statute that proscribes your authority to subpoena the president?

Can you please refer me to the court ruling or decision that prohibits you from subpoenaing the president?

You don’t have a statute or a court ruling outlining your authority to subpoena the president, do you?

And you never asked any of your superiors if you had the authority to subpoena the president, did you?

So would it be fair to say that the decision to not subpoena the president for testimony under oath was a decision you, and you alone, made?

Is it your standard practice to not ask witnesses questions under oath?

Have there been other times where a material witness refused your request for an interview and you did not respond by issuing a subpoena? How many times? What percentage of witnesses have flouted your authority and you have acquiesced to their demands?

So, it’s not common? Did you give the president this special treatment simply because he is the president?

And, again, you decided to give this president special treatment despite having no statutory requirement or legal ruling requiring you to do so, and without consulting William Barr, Rod Rosenstein, or Matthew Whitaker?

Mr. Mueller, you have made multiple references to the written statements you received from the president, through his attorneys. I now refer you to Appendix C of your report. Isn’t it true that you found the president’s written responses “inadequate”?

Is it your standard practice to not follow up on inadequate responses received from witnesses?

You write that your decision to not follow up was made because of the time and litigation that would ensue, which would cause you to delay your investigation. Is it your standard practice to rush to complete investigations?

Did you consult with William Barr, Rod Rosenstein, or Matthew Whitaker about how much time your investigation should take?

Were you pressured by any person in the Trump administration to finish your investigation along any particular time frame?

Well, my time is up. My final question is: do you think any other body should follow up on the responses you deemed to be inadequate, and complete the investigation you yourself did not?

And if I had 10 minutes I’d go all in on Mueller’s cowardly decision not to subpoena Don Trump Jr., Jared Kushner, or Ivanka Trump.

Robert Mueller didn’t finish the job. Most likely, Democrats will be too busy trying to make him into some kind of hero to point that out.

Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and a contributor at The Nation. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at elie@abovethelaw.com. He will resist.