『 Delivery 』

Chapter 5: Keikaku Doori

Ren slid his hands across the smooth bowler hat. It felt and looked only slightly different from the other hats in Torchwick's collection. It was absurd to think that they went this far for an accessory, losing Jaune to the White Fang in the process. He swept his bangs aside and looked up at the night sky. The situation wasn't too bad, in his opinion. As long as the hat held the same relative value to Torchwick as Jaune to them, the criminal wouldn't hurt their leader.

Pyrrha and Nora, however, seemed... unstable after the incident. With Nora, that was nothing too surprising, but seeing Pyrrha this depressed was a first for Ren. Professor Port was still lying in the backseat, unable to move his limbs more than a few inches after the Lightning Dust explosion. The effect should wear off in a few hours, but having the only full-fledged Huntsman paralyzed was devastaging for the Team's morale.

Lost in planning their next moves, Ren overlooked the blinking display on his scroll. Pyrrha and Nora tackled his back nearly immediately, resting their heads on his shoulder in an attempt to grab at his scroll. He attached the hat to his hip and propped up his hands upon his knees.

"Girls."

His quiet, yet commanding voice caused Pyrrha to blush and withdraw, while Nora simply embraced him tighter. He tapped the small envelope icon that showed an unread message from Jaune Arc.

"heyyyy (^0^)/*･゜ﾟ･*"

Ren, Nora and Pyrrha stared at the floating message for a moment.

"Who are you and why do you have Jaune's scroll? -Lie Ren."

"its me bby (^W^)7"

An image popped up shortly after that. Emerald was excitedly waving into the camera with her arm slung around Jaune's neck. While the green-haired girl was all smiles, Jaune had a rather mortified look on his face. His teammates immediately began cheering upon seeing Jaune in safety. Pyrrha squealed in delight, reaching tones Ren has only ever heard of Ruby when she saw fresh Strawberry Cookies. He shook his head and focused on his scroll again, but before he could answer, he received another message from the unlikely duo.

"dw, im omw 2u~ (*≧▽≦)"

Ren caught himself smiling as he typed a response. He was happy to see Jaune returning safely, but ignored the warm feeling spreading in his chest when he saw Emerald Sustrai. The thought that she wasn't working with Torchwick was oddly comforting. Maybe I can finally let these nagging suspicions go. His index hovered over the Send button for a moment, but he decided to redo his message instead. A few quick taps later, he stashed away his scroll, an amused smile on his face.

"cu l8r ;) -Lie Ren"

Emerald had to practically drag Jaune all the way to his team's location. Whatever the White Fang did to him, it left him limping. The easily excitable red-head was the first one to spot her arrival.

With a sigh of relief, she let go of Jaune's arm around her shoulder. Her temporary companion lost his balance and fell to the ground with a groan of agony. With this, most of Ren's suspicions against her should be cleared. The queen of thieves closed her eyes and tried to relax after the day's increasingly absurd string of events.

The humming engine of Professor Port came closer and stopped, three pairs of feet moving towards the luggage she'd carried to here. She opened her eyes and put on her best casual smile. The red-haired girl didn't even look at her face and cradled Jaune's head in her arms while Nora was yelling something incomprehensible. Ren followed the excited girls from a safe distance and bowed a little when he met her eyes.

"Thank you for your help, Emerald."

Emerald hastily returned the gesture, a genuine smile on her face. Being praised was a rare occurrence for her when working with the likes of Cinder and Torchwick.

"No problem, Ren. That's what friends are for." The girl paused a little before speaking up to the entire Team JNPR. "I'll go back to Beacon and report this mess."

Ren kept smiling at her. "That would be nice. You've done more than enough for us already. Stay safe from this mess, if you can."

A giggle escaped her lips. How cute. "Don't you worry about me. See you tomorrow."

Emerald calmly strode away from the Team, never looking back. She started running as she turned around a corner, smiling at her own genius, happy about being able to keep up her innocent schoolgirl appearance in front of the ever perceptive Lie Ren. Strangely enough, she found herself looking forward to tomorrow's classes and their next encounter.

Nora hugged Jaune tightly, oblivious to his pained whimpers beside her ear. However, their moment of reunion ended very abruptly when she heard the sounds of a car approaching. Her hands shot to Magnhild and her feet moved into a low stance. A rather colorful truck slid around a corner at a breakneck speed and drove towards her and the Team, emanating a very familiar tune. Someone had somehow found their location, and she didn't like it.

Normal trucks used in frontal assault attacks accelerated in a straight line, but this incoming truck was behaving in a very peculiar manner. Loud, cheery music drowned out the screeching wheels of the van's seemingly random swerves and curves. Nora fired a few grenades at the carriage, missing every shot due to the truck's erratic and unpredictable course. As the ice cream truck came closer, she stopped trying to slow down the truck with gunfire, hesitantly lowering her weapon. Nora took a few steps closer and squinted. She nearly dropped Magnhild when she saw the face behind the steering wheel.

"..."

Neo was pouting inside the truck, tears welling up in her eyes. She was finally having some fun for once, and Roman decided to be a dick about it again. It was always the same, Neo do this, Neo do that, but nobody ever cared about how she felt.

"You're making this much harder than it has to be."

"...!"

"Young lady, let go of the wheel, now!"

"..., ...!"

"Just because we are criminals, that doesn't mean we should drive without licenses!"

Despite Neo's feet relentlessly stomping his face, Torchwick somehow managed reach over and pull on the steering wheel. The van nearly tipped over, turning to narrowly avoid a crash with a tree.

"I'll have you know that those licenses exist for a reason!"

"...!"

"When all this is over, you are SO grounded."

Why does it always have to be SO UNFAIR?

Nora knew that she was crazy by everyone else's standards sometimes, but she would have never done anything like this.

Neo and Torchwick came into sight, and what she saw scared her. The contest over the wheel devolved into a slapping fight, with both Roman and Neo completely neglecting their driving. The wheel spun freely and the truck began to turn in a wide arc, curving away from Team JNPR.

The four of them flinched simultaneously when the ice cream truck diagonally collided with a parked car, resulting in multiple full rotations in the air before hitting the ground again. The ice cream truck bounced a few times and came to a halt while leaning sideways on another car.

Even after the crash, the voices, or rather, Roman's voice, didn't stop arguing. A few small explosions blasted the truck's door into the air, revealing Torchwick emerging from the smouldering mess, angrily muttering something about an "ice cream ban" to the offended little girl that followed him.

Roman Torchwick dusted himself off and walked up to the stupefied Team JNPR, a little swing in his steps, a little spice in his smile, a little mischief in his eyes. The horrific accident all but forgotten, Neo returned to his side. He snapped his fingers on his left hand rhythmically, twirling his cane with the other hand, dancing to the beat of his own greatness.

"I see you people have rubbed the magic hat, huh? Allow me to introduce myself," he said with a haughty voice, "I am the mystical genie of the bowler hat."

After a quick spin on his heels, the master thief lifted his own less-than-magical hat and bowed.

"Since I am quite inexperienced in the wish fulfillment department, I shall offer you one of two choices."

He smirked and leaned on his cane, crossing his legs in an over exaggerated movement.

"I wish I could keep that hat, or alternatively, I wish I didn't have bullet holes in my chest. The choice is aaaaall yours."

Torchwick high-fived himself internally when he saw the students' jaws drop. Roman, you still got it.

Ren was the first one to recover and the first one to attack. Shoot first, ask later, huh? Roman watched the bullets soar past him, aimed at a target just a little bit to his right. The illusion fractured, the pieces quickly reforming into more copies that were quickly dispatched by the meddling kids. Waves upon waves of fake Torchwicks supported Neo in their onslaught on the kids while Torchwick slowly made his way between the pesky teenagers. Neo's rendition of him had improved considerably, although Roman thought that their orange hair could be a tad shinier.

"Bullet holes it is," Roman whispered, swinging his weapon like a bat at the back of the spartan girl's head, in an attempt to incapacitate the most potent combatant right away. She narrowly ducked under the blow and rolled away from Torchwick. A furious Jaune decided to tackle Roman from the side, earning himself a chuckle from the experienced villain. He spun the Melodic Cudgel around and caught the rim of Jaune's shield with the rounded end of his cane, pulling it down to create an opening. He laughed like a maniac, ramming his fingers into the blond boy's eyes. As his assailant staggered backwards, Torchwick caught his foot with his cane and pulled Jaune right between him and Pyrrha, a veritable human shield. The familiar tingle on his skin was his cue to slip away to the side as refractions in the air created a soundlessly laughing copy of him.

Ren stopped his swing before hitting another obvious copy and took a moment to observe the situation. Neo kept trying to taunt him and Nora into committing to an attack while Torchwick employed sneaky hit-and-run tactics on Jaune and Pyrrha with the illusory feints. Another cane shattered upon contact with Magnhild and Ren dealt with two more illusions. This is going nowhere.

"Nora."

Ren's hushed voice was barely audible to his partner, but their coordination was perfect. Nora began attacking recklessly, covering for Ren, while he helped the others take out the weaker combatant first. Multiple Neopolitan's dashed, but Nora smashed her hammer into the ground, sending splinters everywhere around her, shattering the illusions.

"Fooound yooou~" Nora cooed.

She may be strange at times, but she's reliable when it counts. Ren opened fire at the many Torchwicks. Jaune was in a bad shape, but Pyrrha was fighting fiercely enough for the two of them. As they eliminated copy after copy, the real Torchwick's location became increasingly easy to discern. Pyrrha and Jaune began pelting him with blows, forcing him to retreat backwards slowly. The number of illusions decreased over time, leading Ren to the assumption that Neopolitan's Aura must be running low.

Just as Ren began to think they had the upper hand, he heard a sickening crack behind him. The one weakness in his move to help with Torchwick was leaving Nora to fight Neo. Her thoughtless style of attacking would get her in trouble against the small elite fighter eventually. The flash of pain in his chest was followed up by a feeling of numbness. Nora trusted me, and I let her fight Neo alone. He started to turn towards Neo when he heard his leader's voice.

"Ren, go for Torchwick. You beat him once, do it again."

A smile found its way on Ren's face when Jaune and Pyrrha started holding off Neo, leaving Roman and him to themselves.

"Listen, we just want to talk."

"No, you listen, kiddo. You touch my hat, you're not walking out of this alive." The malicious spite in Roman's voice was mismatched with the casual grin on his face.

"Fair enough."

Ren charged and sunk his blade into Torchwick's shoulder, only to see the shattered pieces of the illusion, just as he anticipated. He turned as fast as he could and blocked the overhead swing from behind his back. His victorious smirk disappeared when Melodic Cudgel burst into a million tiny, triangular pieces. A blinding pain knocked him off-balance as the projectile exploded in his back.

The boy in green forced himself to grin. "At least this'll be more interesting than last time, now that you can rely on your partner there."

As soon as he finished the sentence, he charged. Torchwick was still trying to return a snappy remark, a golden opportunity. Ren furrowed his eyebrows when he saw the criminal's figure flicker before dashing backwards. There's only one place he can be. He swung his right arm in violent hook, only to move one step short of Torchwick. Using the momentum, he turned on his heels to face another Torchwick behind him. Ren smiled as he retracted his right arm, twisting his body further to elbow the original Torchwick that was now behind him.

The unexpected impact knocked the wind out of Roman's lungs. "You're not the only one that can do feints."

"Exactly. I was never much of a fighter, you know." The cold-blooded chuckle sent a shiver down Ren's spine. He turned to see the villain's cane extend to reveal a grappling hook, attached to the hat on his hip.

Ren shook himself to rid him of the shudder. It feels so good to have plans come together. He smiled at his adversary. "I know, right?"

A pink grenade erupted in Torchwick's chest. Ren grabbed hold of the hat in mid-air and pointed StormFlower at it. He could hear Nora cheering in the background.

"Your Aura is now depleted and I still have the hat. This is game over."

"Sorry to disappoint you, kid. You're just not in my league."

Roman casually lifted his cane and fired at the hat in Ren's hands. The blast caught him off-guard and knocked him back a few meters. He was shocked to see his opponent raise a hat up into the air.

"Plebeians like you will never be able to tell the difference between good and great hats."

The drive back to Beacon was one of defeat and shame. Four Huntsmen and Huntresses in training had been defeated by only two petty criminals. Roman let them leave alive after getting back his hat, claiming that "victory is nothing without losers to look down upon". With Jaune, Ren and Nora heavily wounded, Pyrrha couldn't even think of chasing after Torchwick and his trickster of a companion. Jaune was half unconscious, leaning his head on Pyrrha's shoulder. The usual upbeat Nora was sitting in Ren's lap, sobbing lightly.

"Nora, what's wrong?"

"I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, I couldn't deliver the letter."

Ren wrapped his arms around his partner and smiled reassuringly.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

Torchwick has had a splendid day, full of fun and games. The minor things like his hideout being found, his room getting wrecked and his car being reduced to rubble didn't faze him in the slightest.

"..."

"No, Neo, getting hit there was totally planned. You gotta get their hopes up before you crush them."

"...?"

"I could never be mad at you. I wasn't really going to ground you and ban you from ice cream."

"...!"

"Actually, you know what? We can steal you that new ice cream truck tomorrow if you want. White Fang's nearly done with logistics."

Neo started smiling. The happiness in her face lit up the dark back alley brighter than the Sun ever could. Satisfied with himself, he took off his right glove. He proceeded to press his hand onto the smooth felt of the bowler hat, when he felt something on top of his hair. Puzzled, he took off his headwear and peeked inside to find a white envelope.

The senders were Jaune Arc, Nora Valkyrie, Pyrrha Nikos and... Lie Ren. Those meddling kids, huh...

He opened it and found a smaller, pink colored envelope with hearts drawn all over it. His name was written in bright pastel colors across the letter.

"Oh, Neo, you shouldn't have-"

"...!"

"Okay, okay, I'll open it, don't worry."

Inside of the letter was a piece of paper with a drawing of an ice cream cone and a bowler hat, enclosed by a huge red heart.

"...!"

Roman wiped tears from the corner of his eyes.

"I-I can't believe you actually remembered my birthday. Thanks, Neo."

Neo started laughing, and it had him marvel at her as if it was their first meeting all over again. He lifted the little girl up and pulled her into a tight hug. She may not be very expressive and bratty at times, but she was his little brat after all. He would do anything to make her happy, even if it meant getting his hands dirty.

And he wouldn't pass up listening to her laughter for anything in the world.

Back in Team JNPR's dorm, the four aspiring Huntsmen and Huntresses could finally rest their heads after an extraordinary adventure. After the paralysis wore off, Professor Port commended them for their tenacity and ingenuity in unexpected situations and very quickly left for his own comfortable bed, a sentiment that everyone else could relate to.

"That was one hell of a ride, guys."

"You were brave today, Jaune."

"Thanks, Pyrrha. That means a lot to me. Ren did most of the work, though."

"I couldn't have done that without you guys."

"Oh stop it, you. I got captured like an idiot while you beat Torchwick in a duel! Nora, what do you think?"

A short-lived silence fell upon their dorm room, only disturbed by Nora rummaging in a box.

"So, who's this Summer Rose and where do I deliver this to?"

Hello there friends. First of all, I would like to apologize for the long wait on this last chapter, hopefully somewhat compensated by the 50% increase in length. I really wanted to get this right, and I'm still not sure if I couldn't have done a better job. This is still easily the most ridiculous chapter I have written, and I personally like it much more than some of the previous chapters in this story.

Over the course of this story, I have learned a lot about writing, and specifically, planning out stories so you don't fuck up your own storylines and have to improvise new happenings. I have identified many mistakes throughout this thing, but additional Reviews would be greatly appreciated.

This story is now completed without any planned additions, unless I get demands for side-stories or continuations or something. In my further plans, I will write a few short one-shots of questionable quality, interspersed with works with more effort put in. For the time being, check out my profile for the first chapter of 『 Flourish 』, a light-hearted story about the childhood of Weiss and my first real attempt at writing OC's.

For the people that don't like my cutesy slice of life stuff and prefer my ridiculous, humorous stuff, my next bigger project will be a longer story about Torchwick and his past. Planned after that is a short excursion into the land of shipping and romance, very likely to be similarly humorous romantic comedies.

For some reason, FanFiction doesn't let you find my name if you search for it, so either put me as one of your favorite authors or keep an eye out for the fancy japanese double brackets in my story titles if you want to read more of my works.

Thank you for sticking with this story until the end. It's been a wild ride.