Social dynamics and psychology: A behavioral study and pattern analysis on dating, love and relationships.

Title of Project: The Solstice 100 Hypothesis: Any human can be persuaded to fall in love using neurolinguistic programming. -“A collection of concepts and techniques intended to understand and change human behavior-patterns.” – Love can be manufactured, then taught and reproduced for the general benefit of society. “NLP: Defined as the study of the structure of subjective experience and what can be calculated from that and is predicted upon the belief that all behavior has structure. – Allows us to do magic by creating new ways of understanding how verbal and non-verbal communication affect the human brain. Allows us to gain control over what we consider automatic functions of our own neurology.” – www.neurolinguisticprogramming.com

– Dr. Richard Bandler (also John Grinder) *Focus: Influence of media on our perception of ideal love. – If media tells us (defines) what our ideals are for love and romance, why not copy media, then we automatically become the ideal mate. — Copying success. Using what professionals have already created (marketers, filmmakers, musicians) to elicit responses in their audience and manipulating those methods in eliciting the “forever feeling” in the target. I. Goal of Project To isolate specific behaviors that cause people to fall in love. To isolate specific behaviors that cause conflict and failure in relationships. To positively influence human behavior by guiding feelings of love through neurolinguistic programming. To create a step-by-step manual to ensure success and avoid failure in dating and relationships for the general population. II. Methods To go on 100 dates, each with a different test subject, applying neurolinguistic programming to guide and influence behavior and generate feelings of love. To document what works and what does not from both the male and female perspective. III. Student’s Role 1. Analyze previous research on neurolinguistic programming. 2. Apply proven methods and techniques and document changes of behavior in test subjects. 3. Gather all research into a cohesive manual that summarizes data and provides step-by-step instructions for applying techniques. 4. Interview 100 men about what qualities they look for in an ideal mate and document. 5. Interview 100 women about what qualities they look for in an ideal mate and document. 6. Document all patterns in the following: 7. Watch 100 romantic films 8. Read 50 men’s and 50 women’s magazines 9. Watch 100 sitcoms 10. Make a list of common male insecurities and ways to validate them. 11. Make a list of common female insecurities and ways to validate them. 12. Listen to 100 Love Songs. 13. Get 100 definitions of love. IV. Initial Reading List (minimum of three) 1. Frogs Into Princes (1979) Dr. Richard Brandler 2. NLP Volume I (1980) Dr, Richard Brandler 3. Tranceformations (1981) Dr, Richard Brandler 4. Reframing (1982) Dr, Richard Brandler 5. Using Your Brain (1985) Dr. Richard Brandler 6. An Insider’s Guide to Sub-Modalities (1988) Dr. Richard Brandler 7. The Adventures of Anybody (1993) Dr. Richard Brandler 8. Time For a Change (1993) Dr. Richard Brandler 9. Persuasion Engineering(1996). Dr. Richard Brandler 10. The Mystery Method – Mystery 11. The Game – Neil Strauss 12. Love is a Fallacy 13. How to Win Friends and Influence People 14. How to Lose Friends and Alienate People 15. Influence

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Dating Challenge Send submissions to TheSolstice100@yahoo.com or just facebook me : ) -Emyli Ayn The Dating Blog: TheSolstice100.wordpress.com

#23

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#27

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#26

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#25

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#24

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#22 Personal Trainer Guy

Date: 2.18.2012 Age: 31 Profession: Personal Trainer Positives: His persistence. He remained in contact with me for nearly 2 months before solidifying a date, due to our busy schedules. Negatives: It is important to question why he did not demand my immediate acceptance of a date. To paint a picture of opposition, # 21 (the Indian, marketing guy) was clear, forceful, and masculine. Once he knew my availability, he subconsciously demanded my compliance. I went on 3 dates with #21 within the first week of meeting but it took #22 two months to get me to say “yes.” This highlights the importance of assertive directness. The man is the boss and must take this role to heart. A woman wants to be guided. You should command my compliance because this makes me sexually excited to see you. You cannot be passive or you friendzone yourself before I even meet you. The polarity of the masculine pulls me into the feminine and sexual tension is the result. Height: 5’9 (No bueno) Weight: 170 Nationality: White How we met: OKC Location of Date: Pool hall/bar/restaurant. Summary: 22 was easy to be with. He was calm, confident, and go with the flow. He mentioned that he had made a lot of good friends on OKC. I too could identify with the friendzone factor. Most of the people I’ve met have been intellectually compatible but not sexually so. I don’t force chemistry because as a woman, I don’t have to. That is naturally a man’s role and any man has it in him to do so. It is simply the practice of body language cueing. 22 didn’t elicit any chemistry within me because he didn’t touch me at all, except one awkward hug at the end of the date. I would be fine hanging with him again, but I have zero desire to see him naked. Yes he was confident, yes he was fun, yes he was interesting. The problem then, is one of dialogue and body language. A woman needs to be triggered. I need you to push past your comfort zone, to keep yourself close. We played pool which is good because it gets that sexy, competitive edge thing happening, but I needed him to excite me by bringing himself into my space. Get close to me. Show me how to hit the ball to make it go where I want. I need to feel your masculinity. I need to be placed in the feminine role because you choose to place yourself in the masculine one. Speak in sexual abstraction. Touch me briefly in those key spots. Brush the hair off my neck. I need that… We all do. The friendzone is a result of a man’s fear to move past the comfort zone. I could have created it, but that’s not my role, and I have no self-interested reason for doing so. If I wanted you, I would create chemistry. I would show you something on my phone that brought you close. I would angle my body towards you. I would touch your arm or thigh. I would lean in and whisper in your ear. I guess I pressed for it a few times out of boredom but he couldn’t read me. He was unpracticed. This disqualified him because I need a man that understands the game, that practices the art of making women happy, an alpha, a leader, a brave man, someone who takes control. He also let me pay for lunch which I assumed would happen because he had been so go-with-the-flow up until then. A woman wants a man that leads the way, it is our role to follow. If a man allows you to guide, he has become the woman. I appreciate a man that listens and is agreeable yes, but he must first show me initiative and boldness. Make it clear your role as the man, the dominant, and I will follow. Then when I offer ideas, your compliance is my reward and demonstrates your respect and appreciation for my perspective, not merely your inability to make strong decisions. There is not a lot to report. Playing pool was good because it was semi-active, out of the norm, and allowed for movement and competition. We had good dialogue and I felt safe and happy with him. His height would have been a potential problem but he disqualified himself by not taking control of the dynamics. Good date. Good friend. No sexual potential.

#21 – Sales/Marketing Guy

Date: 2.3.2012 Age: 30’s Profession: Sales/Marketing Positives: He was very confident, picked a great location, built a strong rapport by connecting to things I was passionate about, built trust by being honest and easy-going, and made me want to spend longer than the normal amount of 1st date time with him. Negatives: Hmmm. Maybe height, my hooker heels could be a problem. Height: 5’11 Weight: 160 Nationality: Indian How we met: OKC Location of date: Unique tea cafe. Beach. Hidden Cave. His car. Summary: I met with 21 at a unique tea house in a bright, hometown type neighborhood. I loved his choice of location because, although I had never visited this area, it was obviously very safe without being pish-posh or snooty. It was a Saturday afternoon, so a lot of people were on the streets, walking their dogs, sipping coffee, talking with their kids. The whole area and “moment before seemed very happy, warm, and inviting. Parking was a little bit of a problem but not enough to affect my good mood. I was instantly attracted when I saw him, which blew my mind because I have never, ever been attracted to an Indian guy. This gives more validity to my thoery that attraction, for a woman, has llittle to do with race, status, or good looks. It was his body language that did it. I don’t know how, but he radiated a calm confidence that instantly made me feel good about him. I got nervous almost immediately, a very good sign. We made small talk and I got the feeling he knew about seduction. He mentioned NLP within the first 5 minutes which enticed me. I have been meeting so many people in the community, I must be qualifying them. These are the type of people I want to be going on dates with, people that practice, understand and make an effort. I, of course turned into a pile of mush, becoming submissive in response to his strong, masculine confidence. Hmmm, so perhaps the masculine/feminine dynamic comes from confidence and self-assurance. This will be something I actively focus on moving forward. I loved the location he chose, it was exotic and unique but still warm and inviting. He showed me a part of his culture while still keeping my feelings in mind, or so I assume because I felt very warm and comfortable with him in that environment. I was nervous for a while and admittedly so until he fessed up and told me he was into the seduction community and did what I did. I think I could feel the hesitation we both had in admitting it to each other but after opening up and allowing ourselves to talk freely about our experiences, we were able to relax and soften to each other. Perhaps it was too much for me because my nervous energy went away and I felt only the possibility of friends. I must have vocalized this because I noticed he adjusted his energy towards me later. He suggested we go to Ocean beach if I had the time, and although I never would have planned on spending 5 hours of my time on a first date, I agreed. We stopped by the store before hitting the beach and he suggested we get sake. Hmmmm, I wonder if he remembered this from my profile. It was a connect. We got two small bottles and headed to the beach. Immediately the vibe changed when I saw the view. There is something so cliche and yet so magical about being out in nature with a man. It sounds silly but it definitely elicits this strong response that easily associates itself to the person you are with. I knew he had chosen this spot on purpose and I loved that he made it appear so “in the moment” and “fly by the seat of your pants” *Men… it sucks when you make it obvious you’ve planned everything out, it’s sexy when you act like you just came up with it.” We walked along the beach and as we did, I tried to friendzone him. He could feel my push and responded in a way that again made me nervous, which told me he was pulling me back in. I couldn’t control it and I’m not sure how he did it but I was impressed. I noticed I resisted him a lot. I was afraid to allow myself to give in to him because I knew what he was doing was planned and well-rehearsed but it was so enjoyable that I couldn’t resist. We walked to this hidden little cave, which gave away completely that he’d done the same routine before but it was so out of the ordinary that I loved it. A man that puts time and thought into any date sets himself apart from the crowd. *Mental note for me to make more of an effort as well. Why do women fail to take responsibility for their selection choice. When a date is unsuccessful, they are often quick to blame the man, saying he was this or he was that, but did they really qualify him beforehand? I think the only way to get better at qualifying is to date a lot. Learn to isolate what you like and dislike until you can see a red flag a mile away, before you even innitate contact. I have been more and more satisfied with the quality of men I’ve been attracting. I can’t wait to see what happens after 100. Anyways, so he starts kino-ing me, telling me he’s a massuese and asking if I want a massage. This was a little obvious and made me too aware of his agenda but, really, who turns down massages? Even though the concept was weird, when he put his hands on that area between my shoulders and neck, I immediately felt a pull. It’s like fucking magic. That spot is so key, you can be the biggest nerd and make a woman want you if you kiss, touch, or massage her there, even briefly. I definitely moved into the “wanting to kiss him” stage. I communicated this to him by moving my body closer to him, holding back when he pulled me near, maintaining contact when he touched, angling toward him. He didn’t kiss me then, which really built that necesary sexual tension. He told me we had to go so we picked up and walked back. I wanted to kiss him, and previously I would have. I wanted to touch him, be near him, to give in. The tension he had built, literally out of nothing, was so strong, I would have made it happen if he hadn’t. I knew he would of course, because he knew the game, but when he did it was brief and forceful. It was good because it made me want more but bad because he wasn’t matching my energy. I was feeling soft and sensual, he, firm and aggressive. Although I like a man leading, I also like him responding to my energy, especially in a first kiss. It seemed a little fake, a little forced, a little too planned. Not really honest. Didn’t mean I didn’t want more, just could have been more intense I guess. We walked to his car, I felt safe and happy, almost nostalgic leaving the beach. Reminiscent of childhood in a way because the sun was near setting and the day had a sepia glow. He drove me to work and asked me if I’d be available Thursday for date 2. He was firm in his request and asked in a way that made it impossible to refuse but also impossible to brush off later. He made me want to see him again, completely. No question about it. And not as a friend. Really gives merit to the false friendzone maneuver.