AT EIGHT months pregnant with my second child, it's not hard for me to feel like the elephant in the room.

But the ability of a packed peak-hour Sydney train to ignore my supersize existence leaves me gobsmacked.

All eyes are diverted from the moment those lucky seat-dwellers spy me and my belly out the window as the train pulls into my station.

Newspapers, books, phones and iPads become the focus of their attention.

Within seconds the unfortunate souls who find themselves without any reading material to hide behind close their eyes and feign sleep.

Occasionally, I'll catch one of them glancing at me sideways, but they quickly turn away when they realise their attention has been noticed.

Not even those in the priority seats which are clearly marked for "those less mobile" glance around to see if their spot is needed by, say, someone carrying another human being around inside their body.

I find it disappointing that it's often young women who seem most determined to ignore the fact I look like I might topple over or faint at any minute as they giggle away on their phones. You wait sister, you'll find out what it's like one day.

Admittedly, I don't always go the entire journey without a seat. But more often than not it is those already standing who bring my situation to the attention of a seated passenger, who then begrudgingly agrees to let me sit down.

Occasionally, after a particularly long day, I find the youngest and fittest looking person sitting nearby and ask them if they mind offering me their seat, and they usually do. But why should I have to ask? Has society become so self-centred that the greater needs of others cease to matter?

If recent reports are anything to go by it seems that might be the case, with manners flying out of public transport windows everywhere. In Britain, a 2010 poll showed that 84 per cent of mothers-to-be had been left to stand on a bus or train journey during their third trimester.

Closer to home, even commuters in the laid-back Apple Isle can't seem to contain their anger at the suggestion they should let a pregnant woman take a load off her swollen feet. A spokeswoman for Tasmania's Rail, Tram and Bus Union said that last year a Hobart bus driver asked someone to offer their seat to the woman in question. Instead of doing the polite thing and standing up, someone called out: "She chose to be pregnant."

Charming.

And I suppose frail little old ladies choose to be elderly by not dying before their 70th birthday?

Sydney etiquette expert Anna Musson is unsurprised by the reports and says today's world has sadly become a "me-first" society.

"It's just not acceptable," Musson, who runs The Good Manners Company, says.

"Those in the immediate vicinity of a heavily pregnant woman have no excuse to not offer their seat.

"They might prefer to pretend they haven't seen you, so they don't have to offer you their seat.

"But sadly it's just a case of people increasingly putting themselves first."

Musson, who offers manners courses to everyone from business people to school children, says Generation Y in particular has a "nobody is more important" mentality and is happy to be seen as shut off from those around them. Another person who is also dismayed at the disappearance of basic courtesies from the modern world is Brisbane man Peter Ryan.

After listening to his wife talk about men bustling for a seat on her train, and often pushing past pregnant women in the process, Ryan started a group called Today's Gentleman in 2010.

The group gained 100 members from more than 10 countries in the first two weeks, and hit 250 members within two months and has gone from strength to strength since.

The organisation is about to celebrate its second annual International Be A Gentleman Day on February 22.

"This is a day for all (men and women) to reacquaint themselves with going about their day constantly displaying 'gentlemanly' conduct," the group proclaims on its Facebook page.

"This is a day to hold the door open for the next person, give up your seat for someone who needs it more ... look around and make the world a better place one gentlemanly action at a time."

Fortunately I start maternity leave shortly, so my daily search for a seat on public transport while struggling with all the aches and pains that come with being heavily pregnant is nearing an end.

But, for the sake of thousands of other expectant women forced to stand on public transport each day, I encourage Sydneysiders to join Ryan and his supporters on February 22 and show some manners.

According to Musson, not only will you make someone else's day a little easier, but it might even make you feel good.

"If we keep going down this path, everybody is going to be miserable," she says.

"When people do something nice for a stranger they actually benefit by feeling good about themselves.

"It's just a shame more people don't realise that."

Originally published as Show manners for pregnant ladies