I meant to watch Saturday Night Live last night, because Prince was the musical guest and my senses really needed to be moisturized with his sexy. But The Joy Luck was on Starz or some shit and I watched that instead because I cannot deny the stone cold brilliance of Auntie Lindo and Russell Wong’s tongue working a piece of watermelon like it’s a clit. Well, it looks like I missed a good old-fashioned live OUTRAGE party.

Chris Rock was the host and since he does stand up, he did stand up for his opening monologue. I guess Chris Rock really wanted to make b-holes throb and split up with rage, because he got right into making jokes about the Boston Marathon bombing and then he skipped along Outrage Lane by joking about the Freedom Tower and ended it with some anti-gun talk and America’s gift for commercializing everything. I watched it this morning and I wasn’t offended, but the only things that offend me are CROCs and couples who sit on the same side of the restaurant booth when there’s no one sitting on the other side.

Chris Rock didn’t make light of either tragedy. Chris mostly made fun of marathons and the insanity of running. He joked that after running 26 miles and suffering from bleeding nipples and sore legs, the marathoners had to keep running when the bombs when off. The audience let out an uncomfortable laugh and it’s probably the same uncomfortable laugh that was heard at Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding when they kissed for the first time. The audience was not feeling it. Chris then joked that when the Freedom Tower goes up, he’s going to run from it the same way people ran from Grown Ups 2.

As Yahoo! and Uproxx point out, a lot of people were clutching all of their pearls and thought that Chris Rock pole-vaulted over the line. Those people screaming “BURN CHRIS ROCK AT THE STAKE!” on Twitter should just be grateful that he didn’t sing and dance during his monologue like every other goddamn host does.

But I am mad at Chris Rock about one thing. He’s giving American corporations ideas. I fully expect to see Red Lobster’s $9.11 shrimp special on 9/11.