Other than my article on the Democratic Socialists of America, this may be the most bizarre thing you see today (here).

If it isn’t, you have a really interesting life. Touché.

In Rio de Janeiro, gang leader Clauvino da Silva — otherwise known as “Shorty” — attempted a prison escape Friday via an incredible charade: He disguised himself as his daughter.

The dude assumed he could just get so cute that people’d think he was a 19-year-old girl.

You know how you do.

I mean, you’re a guy who’s already wearing a pink T-shirt with cartoon hearts and donuts on it; you’re already sportin’ supertight jeans. Your long black wig’s already there…

Might as well just pull on that silicone mask and give it a go.

All of that was part of the disguise for Shorty. And honestly, it didn’t look half bad:

BOTCHED ESCAPE ATTEMPT: Brazilian gang leader Clauvino da Silva’s plan to break out of a Rio de Janeiro prison was foiled over this past weekend … but take a look at how he planned to make his great escape. pic.twitter.com/uuAI3tPKET — CBSDenver (@CBSDenver) August 5, 2019

But it also didn’t look half good.

🙁

Unfortunately, the Red Command leader couldn’t quite reach Mission Impossible heights.

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via GIPHY

Tom Cruise coulda totally gotten away with it. But that’s why he’s Tom Cruise, and not at all Shorty. Hey, wait…

Either way, da Silva — whose group controlled drug trafficking in a large section of Rio de Janeiro — has been transferred to a maximum-security prison and is facing potential discipline.

I have a recommendation for Clauvino if he wants to actually complete the breakout next time. Go for the Gold, Shorty:

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via GIPHY

No one’s gonna tell that guy he can’t leave.

Have any other suggestions?

I’d love to hear ’em in the Comments section.

-ALEX

Relevant RedState links in this article: here.

See 3 more pieces from me:

13-Time Felon Accidentally Shoots Himself In The Testicles While Carrying Drugs In His Anus – As You Do

Women In Vancouver Lose Their Businesses As A Man Tries To Legally Force Them Into Waxing His LadyScrotum

Insane Argument Involving 2 Men Wielding A Bat & A Gun Explodes On The Subway. A Bystander Gets Fed Up (VIDEO)

Find all my RedState work here.

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