The Lakers:

Their point guards are these guys: Derek Fisher, Jordan Farmar and Shannon Brown. Derek Fisher is 48 years old at this point and though he did hit two clutch shots to drown the Magic in the Finals I think he missed a 108 shots in a row up to that point. He’s kind of like Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon 4, he’s been too old for this for too fucking long.

Jordan Farmar has a lot of talent, he can shoot it, he’s quick and he’s got hops but he hasn’t shown anything in the playoffs so far in his career. He has the potential to be a legit threat in this league but it’s not going to happen this season.

Then we’re on to Shannon Brown, a guy who earned his stripes in last season’s playoffs. He’s got a lot going for him, athleticism, decent shooting and nice handles but he’s not a guy you’re afraid of. I like him. I like his game as long as he plays within himself. I saw a couple pre-season games and he was shooting an awful lot. I don’t think the Lakers are winning a lot of games when Shannon Brown takes more than 10 shots.

Another note I’d like to make. The Lakers didn’t really beat anybody when they won the title last year. They just made sure they didn’t beat themselves. Now that Ron Artest is in town that might not be the case this year. Seriously, he’s at a level of crazy I haven’t seen in a while. I have no clue what he might do this year. Kill a guy. Win a championship. Buy a motor home. Adopt a kid, seriously, everything’s in play.

The Spurs:

Like the Poltergeist 2 ad campaign said: “they’re back!” The Richard Jefferson trade was so good it makes me want to shave my beard because it makes me look like a young Gregg Popovich. I hate this team. I hate them so much because they don’t make mistakes, ever. They only make good decisions on and off the field. The only good thing about them is that they’re old and they get hurt easily. I think Manu Ginobili last played a painless game when he was 15 and Tim Duncan’s knees might need an engine change after the season, they’ve got a lot of mileage on them. If they stay healthy, they win the league. If Manu, Jefferson, Parker or Duncan get injured they’ll lose to the Lakers.

The Cavaliers:

The Shaq signing doesn’t really make them better, the Anthony Parker and Jamario Moon acquisitions, on the other hand, do. I have a bad feeling about this season for the Cavs. They’ve shoved all of their money to the center of the table and they don’t really have the hand to back it up, or a steady stream of cash to fall back on if they lose. It’s do or die for them this year and the Shaq thing smells of desperation. It was the sort of, “we need to do something right now” trade that never works. Ask Isiah Thomas.

Lebron will have to carry the team again and he just might be able to do it. You see, it’s not just a make or break season for the Cavs, in a sense, it’s also a make or break season for Lebron’s career. If he doesn’t get a championship now and goes to New York or L.A or wherever he goes, it changes the complexion of his career. He won’t be the guy who stuck with his state to the very end. He won’t be the guy who finally brought a championship to Cleveland. He’ll be a great player who might or might not get a couple rings and breaks some more statistical records. It’s a desperation season and I have a bad feeling about it.

The Magic:

Turkoglu wasn’t THAT good. Vince Carter is a better player. Bill Simmons also makes a very good point in his recent NBA preview that this is the first legit contender that Vince has played on. Maybe he steps up.

I’m worried that they’ve turned themselves into a conventional team. Not with the acquisition of Vince Carter but rather with the acquisition of Brandon Bass. He’s too short to be a backup center, he’s too slow and lumbering to be a backup small forward. In short: he’s a conventional power forward. Even though the Magic did, at times, play Gortat and Howard together last season they always had the 6-10 Turkoglu out there creating match-up problems. Brandon Bass does not create match-up problems and neither does Air Canada (or is it Southwest Airlines at this point?) Talent wise they are better though.

The Celtics:

Ahh the Celtics, you bunch of unlikable douche bags. Okay, Ray Allen is likable but that’s about it. They, much like the Spurs, rely on their aging stars’ health. Kevin Garnett’s knee looks fine for now. I’ve seen him in pre-season action and he seems to be moving around pretty well. Ray Allen is always in perfect shape and hasn’t had a serious injury since that ankle thing a couple years ago. Paul Pierce hasn’t missed action for a while now and Brian Scalabrine is still the whitest guy in the league. Okay that last bit had nothing to do with anything. All of the guys I just mentioned are past their prime and they have a lot of mileage on. Since they also have Rasheed Wallace who has similar issues, they’re like a used car dealership-except they’re all quality cars… I think I’ve taken the analogy too far.

I’m just putting this out there but I wouldn’t put money on Kevin Garnett’s knee. I just wouldn’t. I have no reason to believe that it’s not fine. But I have no reason to believe that it’s going to be okay for another 100 game season either. No Garnett, no title and that’s that. Rasheed Wallace is a good guy coming of the bench, he still has something left in the tank and he has some valuable experience but he doesn’t put them over the top. The only thing standing between the Celtics and another title is a slight slip or a misjudged landing from Mr. Garnett and they won’t win another title for a long time.

-Magnus.