One year after a shooter attacked a synagogue in Poway, two online memorials on Sunday celebrated the life of the woman who was killed while calling for acts of kindness as well as dedication to the fight against anti-Semitism.

Rabbi Mendel Goldstein of the Chabad of Poway led a pre-taped tribute to Lori Gilbert-Kaye, who was killed shielding Goldstein’s father, the rabbi at the synagogue at the time. A couple of hours later, a group of leaders in the movement against anti-Semitism gathered on Zoom to discuss the aftermath of the shooting and what they believe would help rid the world of hatred against Jewish communities.

The younger Goldstein called on the community to focus on self-improvement and faith.

“The pain is real. The loss of Lori is ever-present,” Goldstein said. “But we know our focus must be on the future, on becoming better people and better Jews.”


The 40-minute memorial that premiered on the Chabad of Poway’s website at 10 a.m. included some of Gilbert-Kaye’s favorite songs, as well as short speeches from her husband and a rabbi who had particularly inspired her.

Dr. Howard Kaye said he’s used prayer and tried to follow his wife’s example of kindness in the past year as a way to find his path forward.

“Taking the high road is a much better way to go, and I want all of us to consider that,” Kaye said.

The coronavirus pandemic made its way into the conversation a few times with several of the speakers, including Kaye, calling for a time of introspection as well as community unity. Goldstein lamented that they hadn’t been able to hold the one-year memorial in person because of the virus.


Sacha Dratwa of Combat Anti-Semitism led the afternoon’s Zoom conversation. Speakers roundly condemned anti-Semitism and called for more to be done to fight it.

“The main message of this day is only together, we can win,” Dratwa said.

He announced that 25 olive trees would be planted in Israel in memory of Gilbert-Kaye.

Richard Hirschhaut of the American Jewish Committee Los Angeles said that in a survey from late last year, his organization found that 88 percent of Jewish people in the U.S. believe that anti-Semitism is a problem in the country and 84 percent said that problem has gotten worse in the past five years.


One in three said that they have been targets of anti-Semitism, Hirschhaut said.

“By any reasonable measure, it has not been a good year for America, but we gather today in solidarity and resolute in our determination to push back against these dark forces,” Hirschhaut said.

Some of the conversation turned to more political and controversial themes.

Jonathan Morales, the off-duty Border Patrol agent who had shot at the car of the man who attacked the synagogue as he drove away, said that the incident underlined the importance of people in the Jewish community arming themselves under the Second Amendment.


“We need to be prepared to protect ourselves,” Morales said. “As we all know, that day, we were there to fend for ourselves.”

Morales also called for people to be kind and compassionate.

Several of the speakers, including Dratwa, called for more governments to officially adopt a definition of anti-Semitism created by the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance: “a certain perception of Jews, which may be expressed as hatred toward Jews. Rhetorical and physical manifestations of antisemitism are directed toward Jewish or non-Jewish individuals and/or their property, toward Jewish community institutions and religious facilities.”

According to the U.S. State Department website, the department uses this definition as a “working definition.”


“We are at war with these hatemongers, these murderers, these ethnic supremacists on the far right who feed for years off of a venomous hate-filled movement,” Elan Carr, a State Department official responsible for fighting anti-Semitism, said during the Zoom conversation. “We’re at war with them just like we’re at war with the anti-Semites on the left and militant Islam.”

The proposed definition worries some because of its implications for First Amendment rights to freedom of speech. Some also worry that the definition could be used to try to silence people who criticize Israel’s treatment of Palestinians.

“This is a very emotional and fraught subject,” Rabbi Alexis Pearce, a member of Jewish Voice for Peace, said in a phone interview. “Every Jew understands that anti-Semitism is a threat, but a lot of American Jews here see criticism of Israel thrown in there, and it starts to sound a little like McCarthyism, an infringement of normal political speech.”

“We have a First Amendment right to criticize Israel,” said Doris Bittar of the American Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee. “It’s not hate speech. It’s about foreign policy.”


She pointed out in a phone interview that the man who is charged in the attack on the synagogue also is charged with setting fire to a mosque. She’d like to see more conversations between groups about the hate that they receive.

“When it comes to white supremacy, we’re in the same boat,” Bittar said. “It could be our place of worship or our home just because of who we are.”