Bob Nightengale

USA TODAY Sports

PHOENIX — They taunt Ryan Braun the moment he steps into the on-deck circle. They scream at him while he's at the plate, boo as he catches fly balls.

Braun never flinches.

Oh, he hears you. The cascade of boos drowns out most of the personal nastiness, but he hears the hate. The vindictiveness.

Yet, he looks into your eyes, and adamantly insists that it doesn't faze him.

If you think you're going to break him, you've got the wrong guy.

Playing in front of a Cactus League record crowd of 14,770 at Cubs Park in Mesa, Ariz., on Sunday, Braun refuses to succumb, just as he has this spring from opposing fans at Brewers' home games.

"Dude, say what you want about me, but I am strong,'' Braun says in an exclusive interview with USA TODAY Sports. "Mentally, and emotionally, I am strong.

"This doesn't bother me. People may have something new to yell now, but it's really no different than anything I've gone though. I've never gone to Chicago and had them cheer for me. I've never gone to St. Louis and had them say, "I hope you do great.' Nobody's fans have ever cheered for the opposing team's best player.

"I'm sure it will be a bit adventuresome at times this year, but if anything, it's probably better now. Normally, you go to Philly and Chicago, and they're talking about your mom, your sister, your girlfriend, whatever. So, now, it will be just about me.''

The difference, of course, is that fans won't be heckling Braun for his talents.

It will be all about his past with performance-enhancing drugs. Braun was the first of 14 players last July to accept a suspension — his lasted 65 games — for his involvement with Biogenesis. It cost him $3.3 million.

Most damaging, it cost him his dignity.

Braun, 30, isn't asking for forgiveness. He doesn't even ask you to understand.

He wishes he could publicly tell everyone how the mistake was made, and why it was made, and how he never heard of Tony Bosch or set foot in the Biogenesis office, but nobody would believe him.

All he can ask now is to be judged going forward.

"There's just no reason to get into it and continue to bring this stuff up,'' he says. "It's bad for baseball. It's bad for the team. It's bad for me. It's not good for anyone.

"Well, it's probably good for (TV) ratings, or else people wouldn't continue to do it.''

It will be no different Monday morning when Barry Bonds returns to the San Francisco Giants to be a guest spring-training instructor. He will be joined by former teammates Rich Aurilia and J.T. Snow as instructors, but Bonds is the only one who will be seated at a press conference, staring into a sea of cameras, tape recorders and microphones.

And, no, the topic of conversation won't be focused on Bonds' willingness to share his hitting secrets.

"All this stuff, really, is indicative of a larger issue in our society,'' Braun says. "People love negativity. There are so many great stories out there, so many wonderful things to focus on, but people focus on the negative because a lot of people aren't happy in life.''

After Braun doubled on Sunday, one fan yelled, "You couldn't do that without steroids.'' Fans chanted M-V-P-E-D earlier this spring at Braun. The insults make news. No one bothers to mention the legion of Brewers' fans who have mostly cheered him this spring, still wearing his jersey at Maryvale Baseball Park, and yes, forgiving him.

Braun says there wasn't a single time this entire winter that someone approached and voiced their anger. He was cheered louder at the Brewers' Fanfest than he ever has in his career. No opposing pitchers have hit him, and no opposing players have publicly ridiculed him. His teammates interact with Braun as if he was returning from nothing more than a torn hamstring.

In some respects, maybe foils have become immune to the drug scandals. Braun has plenty of company this season with drug-suspended players. If you're a Cardinals' fan, can you really boo the daylights out of Braun and wildly cheer for Jhonny Peralta? Isn't it hypocritical to love Orioles outfielder Nelson Cruz and hate Braun?

Braun isn't naive. He realizes there still is plenty of anger among his peers. They feel that Braun lied to them when he won his drug-test appeal in 2012 – he beat the system on a technicality, not due to some bizarre conspiracy concocted by a urine sample collector.

Maybe Braun was actually lying to himself. He wanted so badly to live up to his new $105 million contract extension that a few months later, when he was hampered by calf and quadriceps injuries, he took a substance to help him stay on the field. He believed, at the time, it was perfectly legal.

No one wants to hear the reasoning.

So Braun will wear it. And will continue to hear it.

He is encouraged that there are numerous players who have not been forgiven for past PED use, but are widely adored. Red Sox DH David Ortiz, who tested positive during the 2003 anonymous drug tests, is worshipped in Boston. Andy Pettitte remained a huge fan favorite until the day he retired, despite his admission of PED use. Few players are more respected and admired than Cleveland Indians DH Jason Giambi, who admitted to a federal grand jury in 2003 that he took steroids and human-growth hormone.

So why can't Braun find redemption, too?

"Obviously, I made a mistake,'' he says. "Everybody makes mistakes. Just not many people have to deal with their mistakes publicly.''

Braun, who apologized to everyone from his teammates to the Brewers' season ticket holders to Commissioner Bud Selig to his own family, wants to believe that he'll be back in good graces, too.

Sure, it's going to take time. But Braun has grown numb to boos, and he's answered skeptics who wondered if he could perform without the use of PEDs.

Braun, who failed his drug test in 2011, came back in 2012 and had the greatest season of his career – hitting .319 with 41 homers and 112 RBI, and finishing second in the MVP race. He welcomes scrutiny now.

"I'm one of the league leaders in confidence,'' says Braun, who is hitting .636 this spring with two homers. "If I perform like I've always done, I'll be one of the best players in this game. I don't need any added motivation of drama at work.

"I'll just let my work speak for itself, as every artist should.''

Braun, who married in December and honeymooned in Bora Bora, insists that life is good. In some respects, never better.

"I'm enjoying life as much as I've ever enjoyed life,'' he says. "I'm not saying there won't be some moments that are annoying this year, but come on, who hasn't dealt with drama at work one time or another?

"I'm in a good place.''

Even if plenty don't want him to be.

Follow MLB columnist Bob Nightengale on Twitter at @BNightengale.