Matt L. Stephens

matthewstephens@coloradoan.com

Three severed heads rest in Guy’s basement.

On laundry day, there’s a fourth. After he cleans it, it goes back into a closet on the Moby Arena concourse.

Now this guy’s name isn’t Guy, but in order to write this story, I had to promise not to reveal his identity. He wouldn’t even tell me his last name.

Because while Guy by day, up to three nights a week, he straps on a 10-pound fur suit and oversized head and becomes a demigod. Instead of being a wiry 5-foot-7, he towers more than 6-feet, has oversized biceps and somehow pulls off an intimidating expression while still welcoming anyone into his loving arms.

Three nights a week, Guy’s institutional worth goes from just another, well, guy working for Colorado State University’s ticket office and transforms into the school’s most valuable and recognizable asset. Three nights a week, he’s CAM the Ram. And by midnight, he fades back into anonymity.

“I thought it might help with the ladies. I let it slip on a date once; didn’t really work. Some people think it’s weird,” Guy said, not making it clear whether he was joking. “But it’s kind of weird not being able to tell anyone. I mean, my roommates probably have an idea given there’s this costume that sometimes hangs in our laundry room, but very few people know.”

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Players don’t know. Coaches don’t. The same goes for some CSU administrators. That’s part of the mystique of being a college mascot.

Seen yet never truly seen, and certainly never heard.

There’s certainly much responsibility that comes with being CAM, and it’s not easy work.

Guy, another guy and some guy we’ll call “Guy III” (who’s currently being groomed for when Guy finishes his CAM duties at the end of this semester) are constantly attending CSU events, many of which have nothing to do with sports. Every home men’s and women’s basketball game, volleyball match and football game , CAM is there.

Donor events, orientation, press conferences. If CSU is tied to it, expect CAM to be in attendance. He’ll probably even show up for your kid’s birthday if you ask nicely. And bring cake.

That’s the job. Exhausting, thankless and smelly (there is no cooling mechanism in the head and, regardless of the weather, Guy sweats heavily under there), and there’s nothing Guy would rather do for the rest of his life than live half of it in secrecy.

His dream job is Benny the Bull. Unfortunately, Guy said, the Chicago Bulls recently hired a friend of his who’s fairly young, and these job openings only come around every 15-20 years. And it’s not that he’s a Chicago fan – he was only just born during the front end of the Bulls’ championship run during the 1990s. Actually, when it comes to what sports teams he’s a fan of, he’s really not. It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy sports, he’s just a bigger fan of mascots than any franchise or player.

That’s also why he lives three additional personalities – Slapshot (Colorado Eagles), Stix (Denver Outlaws) and, when it comes to Northern Colorado events, he’s Denver Broncos mascot Miles.

And, again, when he puts those suits on, no one knows he’s him.

“It can be lonely. A lot of people don’t quite understand what I do, especially compared to some of the other mascots across the country,” Guy said. “When I’m frustrated after a game or I’m really tired, a lot of my friends don’t understand that. They say, ‘Oh, you just ran around in a suit. That’s not tiring.’

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“No, I put a lot of effort into it and sometimes I’ll get frustrated if it doesn’t go well. And that’s something that I have to deal with on my own.”

But although those who know about his alter ego in Fort Collins are few and far between, he doesn’t have to shoulder his burdens completely by himself.

Any secret life wouldn’t be complete without being a member of an underground organization. Yes, there’s a secret society of mascots. They meet in secrecy at cheerleading competitions, conference basketball tournaments and annual summits, including a recent conference in Steamboat Springs.

Their primary method of communication? A Facebook group that, of course, is private.

There, they discuss everything. Last night’s game, hirings and retirings and videos of new mascot fights, something Guy says is frowned upon – even the fake ones – and it’s why CSU fans should never expect CAM to exchange blows with Chip from the University of Colorado (though CAM would totally win).

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It’s a safe haven in a life that, while surrounded by so many friends, can’t help but feel lonely.

Because after the games – after the selfies and the skits, the hugs from kids and high-fives from dads – he’ll shed his skin and walk the fluorescent hallways around Moby Arena sweating carrying an opaque bag that holds his soul. From superstar to anonymity in a matter of minutes, and back again.

But there’s nothing Guy would rather do. Because while he spends more time out of suit than in, those hours he spends as CAM the Ram are the most enjoyable of his week.

“The Philly Phanatic once told me, ‘you’re a professional idiot,’” Guy said. “As long as you’re having fun, everyone around you is having fun. It doesn’t matter what’s going on in the game, it doesn’t matter what you do. Just as long as you put that suit on and have a good time, you’re going to make people smile. That’s pretty cool.”

For insight and analysis on athletics around Northern Colorado and the Mountain West, follow sports editor Matt L. Stephens at twitter.com/mattstephens and facebook.com/stephensreporting.

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