Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve spent countless hours of my life defending the flawed genius of Kanye West. If you don’t, then let’s go down the rabbit hole for a minute, shall we?

In my opinion, Kanye’s public image, discography, and legacy can be summed up in one word: conflict. With that in mind, I think no project of his better exhibits that theme than the highly controversial Yeezus. Since it’s 2013 release, Yeezus has been the subject of much debate. There are some Kanye fans who laud it as Kanye’s best work to date for its minimalist sound and incredible innovativeness. On the other hand, many criticize it for its brash sound and its shocking, often blatantly misogynistic, lyrics. Objectively, neither side of the debate is wrong, and if anything, they’re equally correct about the album. To understand why, we first need to put the album in context.

It’s 2012 in Paris and Kanye West is turning the page on a new creative chapter in life. A couple years, two critically applauded albums, and nine Grammys now stand between Ye and the 2009 VMA controversy that nearly ended his career. With My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, Kanye exceeded the public’s expectations for what the album that would make or break his career would be. In fact, he demolished them, entering the 2010’s with what would soon be considered his magnum opus. Almost ten years later, publications like Billboard, Complex, New York Post, and Rolling Stone, named it the #1 best album of the decade.

Kanye clearly reached a new height in his career, but felt he still had much to prove. In fact, he dismissed the high level of praise MBDTF was given, writing it off as “an apology record.” In many ways, it was. He was at the mercy of public opinion prior to its release, and he wouldn’t deliver anything less than perfection. This catering to the demands of the average consumer may have saved his career, but it was also the least Kanye thing that Kanye has ever done. In a 2013 interview with SHOWStudio, Kanye addressed his feelings about the album, saying:

“So many people rate Dark Fantasy as one of the best albums, and Yeezus and 808s are so much better and stronger… Dark Fantasy is almost like an apology record. ‘Power’ was the least progressive song that I ever had as a single.”

Not only was Kanye looking to move past MBDTF musically, he was now exploring other creative ventures. Much of the time Kanye spent in Paris making the album also saw him frequenting fashion shows and trying to break into that industry. Kanye was no stranger to facing adversity with his creative ambition, but he found the fashion industry to be much less accepting of him, which he felt was partially due to his music stardom. His Yeezy sneaker deal with Nike was one of the company’s most successful and highly coveted collaborations of its time, but the two parties angrily went their separate ways after Nike refused to pay Kanye the royalties he deserved. Kanye felt that he was hitting glass walls and ceilings at every corner in fashion because his creativity was so limited by what people would allow him to do. It’s this frustration and creative fire that fueled the making of Yeezus.

The album kicks off with “On Sight” and its vicious medley of synthesizers that immediately disorient first-time listeners as Kanye’s verse begins, putting his arrogance on full display. It was a major departure from his previous album structure, which opened with catchy songs like “Dark Fantasy,” “Say You Will,” and “Good Morning.” Initially, he planned to start the album with one of its biggest hits, “Blood on the Leaves,” a far more palatable introduction to the project. He ultimately decided against it, wanting to make it clear from the get-go that this project was an anti-commercial standout.

Although “Blood on the Leaves” may have garnered the album more positive reviews as an introduction, “On Sight” set the tone perfectly by stating plainly that Kanye has no intention of pandering to expectations on this project. It’s a fitting exposition to the album’s narrative. He is in the driver seat, he doesn’t care what you think, and he knows what he’s doing even if you don’t because he’s the greatest artist living. The highlight of the song, and its most defining moment, begins with the bridge, as Kanye raps:

“How much do I not give a f*ck? Let me show you right now ‘fore you give it up.”

Immediately, the aggressive, bouncy synthesizer instrumental cuts off and a sharply contrasting interlude begins. The interlude, sampling “He’ll Give Us What We Really Need” by The Holy Name of Mary Choral Family, could easily be seen as the album’s mission statement:

“Oh, he’ll give us what we need, It may not be what we want.”

It’s a complete rejection of the dependence on public approval that defined MBDTF as “an apology album.” If MBDTF was his way of saying “Sorry…” then Yeezus completes that sentence with “…Not sorry.” As abruptly as the sample comes in, it transitions back to Kanye’s egotistical rapping over the hard-hitting Daft Punk-inspired beat. Although “On Sight” is a perfect theme-setting introduction to the album’s narrative, the next track shows that he was really just warming up.

On “Black Skinhead,” Kanye adopts the persona of an out of control black man in white America. Not just out of control as in, “out of his control,” but also “out of our control.” It calls to mind a Dave Chappelle quote from Kendrick Lamar’s performance at The 60th Grammy Awards:

“I just wanted to remind the audience that the only thing more frightening than watching a black man be honest in America is being an honest black man in America.”

Throughout the track, Ye leans heavily into the erratic, villainous persona he’s been characterized with publicly, while rebelling against the public who assigned him that image in his arrogant, anti-establishment, anti-racism style. He does this very ironically however, as the tone of the song shifts over its three minutes. Initially, he addresses a few important social issues affecting the African-American community, with lyrics like:

“They see a black man with a white woman At the top floor, they gone come to kill King Kong”

Here, he’s comparing himself to the fictional ape, because they’re both “out of control,” have black skin, are at the “top floor,” and love a white woman. Furthermore, the alliteration of “kill King Kong” spells out KKK, likely a reference to the white supremacist hate group. However, as the song goes on, there’s a thematic departure from social awareness as Kanye falls back into his egotistical ways. Not only does he begin to make the song about himself and his own struggles, he ends the last verse by dissing other rappers who can’t keep up:

“Come on, homie, what happened? You n****s ain’t breathin’, you gaspin’, These n****s ain’t ready for action, Ready-ready for action-action”

He criticizes the innate racism against black people in America, but then criticizes black people themselves even more so. At the very end of the song, his resentment toward society comes to a head, as he’s alienated himself from supporters and critics alike. Instead of building up his people, he’s only built up himself, and he looks up to the sky in frustration, shouting “God!” At first it seems like a call for help from the divine, but he repeats it ten more times. By the last exclamation it no longer sounds like a call for help, and as the next track comes in, it’s clear that it’s not.

The end of “Black Skinhead” can be seen as the death of Kanye West as a character in the album’s narrative, and as the next track begins, “Yeezus” is risen. By far the most controversial song of this controversial album is “I Am A God.” It’s Kanye taking the egotism he is most criticized for and shoving it in our face. It’s more impolite, arrogant, self-righteous, and obnoxious than anything we’ve ever heard from Kanye, b ut it’s also incredibly ironic and self-aware.

He begins the track with his titular proclamation:

“I am a god.”

The line is repeated four times before he continues:

“Hurry up with my damn massage, Hurry up with my damn ménage, Get the Porsche out the damn garage”

It’s in those lines that the irony, which is lost on most people, lies. He’s declaring himself a God, while relying on other people to provide him with what he demands. In that sense, his “divine” power is unsubstantiated. However, he feels like he can achieve any feat he sets out to accomplish as if he were divine, and he knows how much people will despise him for thinking that highly of himself. He explains it better than I ever could in his iconic and heavily memed 2013 interview with Zane Lowe:

He continues to elevate himself throughout the track, until eventually admitting that, although he is a god, he’s still a man of God. Eventually, that dichotomy between man and God, as well as his alienation from society, become too much to bear and the track winds down with him screaming in terror, gasping for air as he runs from… something. It may be the reality he has separated himself from or, perhaps, the judgement of the true God that he’s running from. However, he refuses to yield, as the track ends somberly with Justin Vernon singing:

“Ain’t no way I’m giving up, I’m a god.”

From there, we transition into “New Slaves,” which makes it clear that Kanye is continuing on his mission to lead some kind of rebellion. In this case, he’s addressing modern racism, classism, and corporate manipulation of the black community as a form of new slavery. He shows empathy for his people, who are now bound by gold chains instead of iron ones, and steps up to lead the movement himself in the chorus:

“You see, it’s leaders and it’s followers, But I’d rather be a d*ck than a swallower”

With this crude metaphor, he implies that he’d rather express his truth and risk sounding like, well, a d*ck, than swallow his words and fall in line with the norms. In the next verse, he illustrates that despite being the “godly” leader of this movement, he’s united with his people in their fear and discrimination. However, his anger and resentment grow and he falls from his leadership role as he becomes overwhelmed by his vices. As the drums pick up and the track winds down, Kanye’s vulnerabilities, which he’s been suppressing for the whole album, finally surface as his hypocrisy and inability to denounce his glamorous lifestyle are brought to light. The track finally closes with a prophecy of sorts, which comes from a sample of the song “Gyöngyhajú Lány” by the Hungarian rock band, Omega, which translates to:

“One day the sun, too tired to shine, Slept in the deep green, somber lake, And in the darkness, the world did ail, Until she came, for all our sake.”

Remember this. Big foreshadowing.

From here, we see the deterioration of the Yeezus persona. After “New Slaves,” Kanye is left in emotional ruin. With the next song, “Hold My Liquor,” we see that Kanye’s alienation has made him heartbroken, lonely, and desperate to feel something. The sound is incredibly somber and dark, much different that what we’ve heard on the album so far, as Kanye self-medicates with alcohol and marijuana. Chief Keef, representing Kanye’s darker, more hard-headed side, sings:

“I can’t handle no liquor, But these b*tches can’t handle me, I can’t control my n****s, And my n****s, they can’t control me, You say you know me, my n****a, But you really just know the old me”

It’s clear by now that Kanye has given up on his mission, and now he falls back into old habits as he wakes up on an the couch of an old lover. It’s a rock bottom moment brought on by his loneliness and need for emotional connection. Clearly, since declaring himself a God, his life has been in a downward spiral. At this point, like E.T., he feels lost in this world, and wants to “phone home.”

It’s one of Kanye’s most unyieldingly vulnerable tracks to date, but with the next song, we see that he’s succumbed to his demons in dramatic fashion. “I’m In It” is by far the most sexually explicit rap song in Kanye’s career. I mean, the instrumental is built upon the repetition of pornographic moaning, for God’s sakes. Lyrically, it tackles his sex addiction head on, and exhibits his failed attempts to find some meaning in his sexual conquests. Although it sounds braggadocious, the inner-voice on the hook shows that he’s trapped in his ways and making things worse for himself.

I would include some lyrics to illustrate these points, but my mom reads this blog and the depravity of that song cannot be stressed enough, so let’s keep it moving.

The climax of the albums narrative comes with one of its most popular songs, “Blood on the Leaves.” At the track’s beginning, Kanye reflects on the sinful lifestyle that’s left him feeling empty. He realizes that he’s been using these women as a means to sexual gratification, but that they’ve exploited him for his wealth as well. It’s for this reason that Kanye can’t connect with women easily, which becomes a major theme in the album. From there, Kanye finally opens up about his heartbreak, grieving the loss of a lover from his past who admired him more for his fame and fortune than his true self:

“And you was screamin’ that you love me, Before the limelight tore ya, Before the limelight stole ya, Remember we was so young, When I would hold ya

In the second verse, he denounces the meaningless sexual relationships, vain consumerism, and drug fueled nightlife of his troubled lifestyle for good. As the track comes to an end, Kanye has an epiphany about the damage those habits have caused him, while he tells himself to “breathe” and “live and learn.”

From there, he sifts through the ruins of his own destruction on “Guilt Trip,” which starts with him vowing that:

“I need to call it off, I need to, I need to”

As the title suggests, he’s on a guilt trip, as he tries to reconcile his many failed relationships and explore why they didn’t work out. He admits that monogamy was an obstacle of his own making and that he’s learned his lesson, but shrugs it off and says he’s ready to move on. However, this is contradicted as Kid Cudi’s timeless humming comes in and he repeats the line:

“If you love me so much, then why’d you let me go?”

It’s clear that he’s still plagued with heartbreak and feels like his openness and vulnerability have gotten him nowhere, so he dives head first into his old ways once more with “Send It Up.” The track opens with a warning for Kanye from Jamaican dancehall artist, Beenie Man:

“Relivin’ the past? Your loss!”

He’s essentially calling out Kanye for his bullsh*t in wanting to regress into that Yeezus persona once again. It’s pathetic, because since he opened up about his broken-heartedness on “Hold My Liquor,” he’s lost whatever godly power he may have once had. Regardless, he goes crawling back to the same toxic habits that he was stuck in, the same ones that prevented him from leading the movement he set out to create. At the end of the first verse, he declares:

“Yeezus just rose again”

But as he realizes that there’s still no emotional substance to be found in that lifestyle, his memories come rushing back, as Beenie Man closes out the track:

“Memories don’t live like people do, They always ‘member you, Whether things are good or bad, It’s just the memories that you have”

It’s Kanye’s memories that shape his identity, but they can’t affectively change what he’s going through. If he wants things to change, he first has to change himself. It’s from that point that we move into the album’s finale, “Bound 2,” which sees the unexpected happy ending to the album, marking the arrival of the woman prophesied at the end of “New Slaves.” It’s where the album comes full circle and the hero’s journey is summed up by Charlie Wilson in the bridge:

“I know you’re tired of lovin’, of lovin’, With nobody to love, nobody, nobody”

Immediately, this track stands out musically from the entire album. It’s the only significant departure from the electric, industrial sound of the project with it’s warm soul samples that are more reminiscent of the “old Kanye.” Taken literally, the song marks the arrival of Kim Kardashian in Kanye’s life. Just days before the album’s June 2013 release, Kim and Kanye announced the birth of their first child, North, and were engaged to be married months later. The track is a celebration of love and his new family:

“Close your eyes and let the word paint a thousand pictures, One good girl is worth a thousand b*tches, Bound (To fall in love) Bound (To fall in love)”

Kanye reflects on finding what he searched for all along: someone who finally loves him for him. Kim and Kanye’s relationship had been scrutinized by the public since its very beginning. After Kim’s failed marriage with NBA player, Kris Humphries, which only lasted for several months, few people could imagine Kim’s relationship with a bigger superstar could be any more successful. You don’t hear much of that any more. Kanye has spoken publicly a number of times about why his relationship with Kim works so well. They’re both huge successes, and there’s almost nothing that they could give each other that they can’t give themselves. That is, except for love and family.

It may seem shocking that an artist as big as Kanye would put out an album describing his sexual depravity and struggle with monogamy at the start of a new, loving relationship, but that final track shows why he did it. He needed to get the demons of his old lifestyle out there and let them be known. He needed to close a troubled chapter of his life so he could enter a new one with a clear conscious. He needed to put himself and his massive ego on trial, holding himself brutally accountable for his problematic behavior. He needed to put the past behind him to find the peace and happiness that his vices deprived him of. But for any of these things to happen, he first needed to seek forgiveness for his sins, from himself, and from God. And as many Christians know, in order for your sins to be forgiven, you must humble yourself and confess them.

That’s what this album is about. It’s a tale of redemption. Yet, the ruthless honesty with which Kanye put his ego, depravity, addictions, and failures to light overshadows the album’s narrative journey to reconciliation for many people. It’s a pattern that has followed Kanye’s career from it’s very beginning. There may be no better example than the Taylor Swift incident. Kanye saw something he thought was injustice, he expressed that thought openly and honestly, and everyone hated him for it, even though he was 100% correct. He was brutally honest in a culture where honesty of any kind is a highly rare commodity.

As we reflect on the Kanye we see today, we can tell that his life has continued to fall very much in line with the album’s conclusion. He’s humbled himself before God and denounced his former lifestyles. He’s found his “one good girl” and held on to her. The love they found has endured, and grown into a beautiful family with four healthy children. He’s still striving every day and against all odds to find the peace and happiness that can be nearly unattainable for someone struggling with mental illness in the public light. His honestly still gets him in trouble, and we still overlook his well-meaning intentions to focus on the often flawed ways he expresses them.

Kanye is someone who’s never lacked self-confidence. This is well known. However, we often paint a picture of him as a complete narcissist with no concern for anyone else. I don’t think this is true at all. In fact, I think he cares about people to a fault. In both the George Bush and Taylor Swift incidents, he was not speaking out because he thought his opinion was so crucially important that it needed to be known. He was speaking out in defense of those that he felt were unfairly wronged. When Kim told us he was off his meds, it wasn’t because he was in denial of his mental illness. It was because they stifled his creativity, and he sacrificed the safety those meds offered so that he could continue to inspire and innovate the world with his art, for better or worse. When he put on the MAGA hat and met with Donald Tr*mp, it was not because he supported the policies of the Tr*mp Administration, it was to heal the division and hatred he saw in the country by trying to add empathy to a symbol of bigotry. Obviously, it was a very short-sighted attempt to make a statement, but I digress.

It’s not empathy or concern for others that Kanye lacks. It’s self-awareness. Go look up any interview Kanye’s done in the past ten years and you will see him struggle to focus on providing clear answers as his mind moves in a million directions at once. He’s never been great at expressing himself on the spot. Yet, when it comes to the music, we get the most uncut, honest self-depiction of Kanye that no one else could provide. We get the good, the bad, the gorgeous, and the ugly. That’s what he gives us on Yeezus in no unclear terms. Whether we choose to love him or hate him for it is up to us. But either way, he’s found love, so he has everything he needs.