Today the postman brought a very interesting package to the door; it was addressed to my human mom, but I knew it was something unusual because when I sniffed it really carefully, it smelled of bacon. I waited anxiously for my mom to come home and open it-- I guess I could have done that myself, but it stinks when packing tape gets caught in your whiskers. Just as I was settling down to take a secret nap on the people bed, mom came home and called me over to investigate the contents of the mystery box. She seemed as excited and intrigued as I was; as we tore open the packages, she asked me again and again, "what's this?!" By now, I must tell you that my wiggle-butt was out of control: the first gift was a big beautiful box of Milkbone Biscuits in all my favorite flavors: Chicken, Turkey, Beef, Sausage, and, of course, Reddit's official flavor: BACON. The next two gifts were a mystery to me, but let me describe them and maybe you can figure it out: one looked like a blanket that mom wrapped around my body-- I gave it a roll test and it felt pretty comfy, like having a portable doggie bed. The next gift were these tubes that went over my paws, and boy, did it feel weird to walk in them! I waddled around a bit, but Mom was so happy. She said I looked cute and that I would be warm for my first New York winter, so I guess that I'll figure it all out soon. The final gift was a big green octopus! I nommed on him and he said, "SQUEEK!" I nuzzled him and he said, "Squeek," in a tinier voice, so then I gave him a nice wet dog kiss! I've never gotten mail just for me before, and I am pretty excited to explore all this great stuff! Thank you, Hyperchema, Oliver, Kaya, and Brienne for the best gifts a pup could ever imagine, and a few that a pup couldn't! Wags and Kisses, Honey