Donald Trump kicked off Wednesday with a series of tweets announcing that the U.S. military would no longer accept transgender service members, due to the “burden” of their medical costs and the “disruption” their presence supposedly causes. To many, the move seemed like a distraction from the G.O.P.’s protracted failure to repeal and replace Obamacare, or from Russia, or from any number of other controversies. Regardless, the result was the same: Trump threw trans people, whom he once said he would fight for, under the bus.

It’s no surprise, then, that almost every late-night comedian found his own way to tear into the president on Wednesday night. In fact, Trump’s bigotry inspired one of the most innovative lineups that late night has seen in recent months.

Perhaps the most bizarre part of the president’s message was the tweet storm’s last two words: “thank you.”

“Thank you?” Stephen Colbert said with disbelief on The Late Show. “Fuck you!”

Lest we forget, Colbert pointed out, Trump avoided fighting in the Vietnam war with four deferments and a medical disqualification for bone spurs in his foot. “And let’s talk about those tremendous medical costs,” Colbert added.

“To put that number in perspective, the military spends five times as much on Viagra. And if your erection lasts for more than four hours, that’s too bad, because you’re stuck on a submarine for the next six months. Why so much Viagra?! Is that why they don’t use bayonets anymore? . . . So clearly, it’s not about the money—or the military.” Colbert was also amazed to learn that the Pentagon itself was apparently unaware of Trump’s plan to ban transgender military personnel. “So the Pentagon didn’t even know?” Colbert said. “Wait a second; Trump said that he consulted with ‘my generals.’ Oh, I know. That must be a typo. He meant ‘my genitals.’”

On The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon came armed with jokes of his own. But he also decided to share his platform with someone who could speak to the president more personally: trans comedian Patti Harrison.