1. Being able to wear any kind of heel is something we should all experience, because having to wear kitten heels or flats to an important event is completely sad. I pretended like I wasn’t upset about it, but deep down, it was the worst — you get all dressed up and beautiful just to put on shoes that a kindergarten teacher wears? Come on.

2. The feeling of being really self-conscious about your height in relation to your guy’s is awful. You’re always wondering if you look mismatched, and slouching slightly without realizing it because you want to pretend like he’s taller (even though you know he isn’t). When you date a tall guy, you never even think about it, but as soon as you’re with a guy who is about your height (or slightly less), it’s all you can think about.

3. Laying your head against a guy’s chest and feeling totally protected by him is something that can’t be replaced. And yes, sometimes it can be awkward to kiss someone who is way, way taller than you, but it’s honestly cute having to stand on your tippy-toes.

4. Some short guys totally own it, and that’s awesome. But my ex was obsessed with it, and even though he tried to act like it didn’t matter, he was always trying to prove that he was “manly” or “tough,” overcompensating by being the “funny guy” who always needs attention. My guy was about 5’7, which isn’t even that short, but his ego was tiny, and very fragile. Really tall guys often have nothing to prove.

5. Once in a while, I would wear high heels and just say “fuck it,” but we would get looks. In heels, I was a good three inches taller than him, and it felt so weird having this little guy kind of under my arm as we walked. People would make “climbing tree” jokes, and it was the worst. I’m not even that tall!

6. I think it’s probably better in height-challenged couples for the girl to be much taller, because then it’s totally obvious and accepted. But when you’re constantly on the edge of being taller than him, it’s really uncomfortable. Sometimes I would catch us in the store window and try to shrink down a little bit.

7. Some girls say it doesn’t matter, and if that’s true, good for them. But I think it matters to a lot of girls. And there’s really nothing to be done about that.

8. When a guy is short, you feel fat. It’s weird, but there is a need to feel smaller in some way, protected and cared for and delicate. When you’re not super thin (even just average size), you feel really big and gross around a short guy. With a tall guy, he’s way bigger than you no matter what. With a short guy, you can easily weigh more than him or feel like you could crush him underneath you.

9. Really short girls are lucky, because every guy is a tall guy to them! And I’m kind of jealous.