How we create an adult man cheated of full range of his emotions

Nigerian novelist, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, pointed out why high number of men always get into depression and always chose an option of committing suicide.

According to short stories writer, she said that when we tell a wounded teenager to ‘man up’ we are creating an adult man who will be swindled out of the full range of his emotions.

Giving a speech on Wednesday at the Hubspot entry conference in 2018 that takes place in Boston, USA, Adichie revealed that men have a higher death rate by suicide than by women.

She attributed the situation to patriarchy, which according to the author is a blessing and a curse for men, adding that men are trained to suppress emotions, not to show vulnerability or ask for help.

She said: “Both men and women suffer from the illnesses that lead to suicide but it is men that have a much higher rate of dying by suicide.

“Why? Because men are socialized to suppress so many human parts of themselves, men are socialized not to ask for help, men are socialized to be afraid of fear, men are socialized not to show vulnerability.

“From the moment we tell a little boy that ‘boys don’t cry’ or we tell a hurting teenager to ‘man up’ we are creating an adult man who will be cheated of the full range of his emotions. So, while men benefit from patriarchy, they also suffer from it.”

The ‘Americanah’ author also spoke on gender equality, saying there is no difference between men and women, adding that women should not be viewed differently or given special treatment.

She said: “There is nothing a woman should be because she is a woman, and there is nothing a man should be because he is a man.

“Women are not special, women are human, women are flawed just like men… If we keep saying women are special, then we judge them at a higher and unfair standard.”