There is a universe where the last Star Wars action figures came out in 1985, the Battle of Endor took place on Kashyyyk, and the prequels were actually a three-night-long PBS mockumentary — directed by Errol Morris — on the vagaries of moisture farming. Suffice to say, we don't live in that universe.


In the upcoming Star Wars Kinect video game — remember, a decade from now, even the collected works of Ludwig Wittgenstein will Kinected — you must do The Dance Of The Seven Hand Jives with Leia in her metal slave bikini. The magic starts at 4:30, and hat toss to Cymbals.