We know all about smartphones, and we’re learning about smartwatches and smartglasses, plus we’ve even heard about smart pants and smart tattoos. However, Sony is examining one area where we never expected to find a smart device, the top of our heads. A patent has been uncovered for something called the SmartWig, and although you may not believe it at first, it’s exactly what it sounds like.

This is no threadbare plan either, as Sony seems to have really thought about the SmartWig. As you’d expect (or not, as the case may be) the SmartWig connects to your smartphone, tablet or glasses, but as it doesn’t have a display, it’ll deliver notification alerts using a tiny vibration through your skull.

Now, this is quite bizarre, and not something we’d imagine anyone wanting to use, but Sony thinks it needs more features to convince baldies it’s the wig for them. But instead of something potentially useful like a sensor to calculate wind speed (you wouldn’t want to lose your SmartWig, would you), Sony has chosen a camera and a laser pointer. Just take a second to imagine being in a presentation, when a colleague shoots a laser beam from their hairpiece to highlight a point on a the whiteboard. That’s Sony’s vision of the future.

That’s not all either, as Sony’s syrup could have GPS and provide vibration alerts to tell you which way to turn, and have touch sensitive areas to control other devices. Sony also thinks the wig itself could be controlled using your eyebrows. Of course it does! The rest of the SmartWig is so utterly insane, forcing wearers to look surprised so they can change a setting seems perfectly normal

We don’t think any self-respecting, follicly challenged person would entertain the thought of Sony’s SmartWig, and we can’t see anyone shaving their head just so they can use one. This is one idea which needs to be swept under the rug, Sony.

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