No Escape I awoke to a sharp beam of light piercing through the darkness that shrouded my room. Shielding my eyes from the harsh sunlight, I searched for its source to see the blind had blown out of place slightly from where I had left the window open in the night. The room was sweltering from the summer heat, as the bustling world outside hummed into my head. The cars driving along the main road, the birds chirping in the trees, the children playing in the streets. I looked at the clock to see it was after midday. I’d been asleep for almost 12 hours now. Groaning, I lifted myself out of my bed and headed over to the window. Moving the blind back into its original place, I turned to face my bed to make sure the light had been snuffed out. As my head turned, I saw the mess my room had been left in. Clothes on the floor, takeout boxes scattered here and there, the bedding flung from the bed where I’d thrown it off in a childish tantrum. I could feel the sweat running down my forehead as my phone vibrated on the bedside table. It vibrated a few more times, making me sigh as I chose to ignore it. I picked up a jacket from the armchair in my room and slung it over my semi naked body. I readjusted my boxers as I stretched out and carefully opened my bedroom door. The house was silent apart from the background noise from outside. I pulled the hood of my jacket over my head, shielding my face from the bright lights as I gazed down the staircase, seeking signs of movement. Nothing. I assumed my family must have gone out again. Not that it matters. Turning to face the window, my eyes gazed towards the rustling leaves on the tree outside as a gentle summer’s breeze ran through the branches. A small light flickered inside me at the beautiful sight, but it was brief. The void within me quickly swallowed it whole, as the usual feeling of emptiness sunk back into it’s usual place. I opened my bathroom door and walked over to the sink, turning on the tap. I pulled back my hood before placing my hands underneath the cold flow of water and cupped as much liquid as I could. I splashed the water over my face, immediately feeling a refreshing coolness run through my body. I looked in the mirror above the sink, to see the pale white frown that had become fixed upon my face. I ran my hand through my fringe, pushing it out of my face as I looked into my own eyes. The pale blue that used to shine so bright, now just a pale imitation of their former hue. A darkness in the pupils, as if there was nothing there. Blacker than black. This was who I was now. This is what life had thrown at me. The worries, the sadness, the unbreakable thoughts that had filled my head. Worthless. Unwanted. Broken. Used. The thoughts that had wrested control of me, and twisted, warped and molded my life into one of self imposed isolation. Pulling the hood back over my head, I shuffled back into my room. Immediately, a wave of warmth rushed over me. Walking over to my desk, I shifted some of the rubbish into a bag and placed the fan on top, flicking it onto the maximum setting as a cold breeze shot out from between the blades. I walked over to my bed, falling onto the mattress as I buried my face into the pillows. My phone vibrated again, and I chose to ignore it. I didn’t want to deal with it, whatever it was. Maybe it was my parents asking me to clean my room or get outside. Maybe it was the people I used to hang with asking where I was or telling me about how great things were going for them. Maybe it was just some stupid message from the phone company about some great deal they have for new contracts. I didn’t know, and I didn’t care. I just wanted to be left alone. It was easier this way. I didn’t have to feel second best. I didn’t have to feel upset that people left me or didn’t want to spend time with me. I didn’t have to deal with the bullshit that people complained about, and then deal with the aftermath when they chose to continue on that same path. Everyone had always told me that I need to be okay with being alone before I can get good at being with people. And that’s exactly what had happened. I was better off on my own, I found a comfort in it that I hadn’t before. But it had the exact opposite of what people had told me. I didn’t want to be with other people. I didn’t want to get my hopes up and be let down at every corner of life. I didn’t want to watch as everyone got what I wanted, and I was left to fade into nothingness as I became nothing more but a ghost in a memory. The uncontrollable issues and flaws of life that inflicted their wounds on me with every fall they pushed me down. But now I was in control, I chose to be alone. I chose to not deal with the issues anymore. I chose to just live a life of not caring. I didn’t care what they thought about me, I didn’t care what happened between us. I didn’t care about myself anymore. As I picked up my earphones and pushed them in, I rolled over and pulled the hood further down my face as the music ran through my head. I just wanted to sleep.

3 years ago // 0 N // //

Unspoken As I sat there, hands hovering over the keyboard, my mind flourished with what I wanted to say. Would I be blunt or would I be comforting about it? Every time my head started to lean one way, my heart would lean another. “Gah, fucking bullshit feelings…” I groaned as I placed my head in my hands, ruffling my hair in frustration. Why was this so hard? Why was it so difficult to put thought into words? Every sentence started was quickly erased as I silently hoped you weren’t seeing that I was typing to you. I want to ask how you are. I want to keep my distance. I want to know how your day was. I want to learn to not be so attached. I want to let you know that I’ll always be there for you. I want to let you know that I can’t always be there for you.

The hypocrisy of my words brings nothing but agony to my chest as every emotion rushes forward, vying for dominance in a whirlpool of confusion. I can’t help how I feel, but I shouldn’t have let things go this far. Deep down I know the truth but I’ve buried it deep inside so I could be there. But that’s not strictly the case. A part of me still hopes that maybe one day I’d be good enough. I’d fit the mold and the emotional connection wouldn’t just be what it was. It would be more, so much more. But it’s nothing but a pipe dream. And deep down, I really know that. Standing up, I walked over to my desk and take a sip from my cup. The cool, refreshing water flows into my mouth as I take a moment to regain my thoughts. Would it be easier to say these things if I was actually face to face? No screen to hide behind, nothing to veil the true emotions that we’d express? I take a seat at my desk and place my headphones over my ears, pressing the play button on the keyboard as music starts to fill my ears. A soothing acoustic melody, a sad song but one that calms me. I leaned back in my chair and gazed at the screen. In trying so hard not to be one of them, I’ve become something worse. At least in my eyes. But that’s always the case. It’s in my head that I’m not good enough, I’m full of imperfections, riddled with flaws and issues that make me a nightmare. Maybe I am, but maybe there’s a simpler answer. I’m just not what you want. My hands went back to the keyboard as again, the thoughts of what I want to, what I need to say dwell heavily on my mind. And then as if a switch was flicked within my head, my fingers started pressing the keys as if the words have been there all along. I want to be there for you, I truly do. But it’s probably best if I keep my distance for now. The way things are, it hurts more to think about it than it does to enjoy the time that passes by and that’s going to hurt me in the long run. I’m good on my own, I always have been, and you don’t really need me hovering around, trying to be some guardian angel that lifts you up when you’re down. You’ve got others who do just as good a job, even better in some cases. People who can do things that I can’t that put a smile on your face. I need to disengage from what we’ve become. Unfortunately, life has put a distance between us, be it my own thoughts or actions or simply things that happen that just have their own place within this vast world. And as long as I feel this way about you, that distance is just going to get bigger. I need to learn how to feel without feeling, heal without healing, learn to live a life without trying to keep you a main part of it. The tears start to well in my eyes as the words flow forth, the page filling up as the music plays louder and louder in my head. A single image in my head that I wish was true so badly, but need to let go off just as much. A rainbow of colours in a moment lost in time in memory of a world gone. I need to let go. Burying the negative feelings of anger and sadness, I leaned back and wipe the tears from eyes. I can’t let this get to me. I’m not proud of who I’ve been, but I know I’ve got to grow from this and stop this before the overreactions to every comment turn into resentment. I took a deep breath and continued typing the final thoughts in my mind and the final feelings in my heart. You probably will always have a place in my life. To me, we’ll always have a connection. And whilst it may not be the connection I long for, it’s a connection nonetheless. But I need to get over it, and get over you. And as I type these words, a sense of calmness washes over me as I know I can do it. It will take time, how long I do not know, but time nonetheless. And whilst that image will forever linger as a what if, I must now face the reality of what is. I’m not for you, you’re not for me. It’s time to put myself as the priority, which is something I have to learn as I’m not really sure how to do it. But I’m a fast learner, even if I’m stubborn. As much as I want to give you this limitless affection and give you the attention you deserve, it’s not fair on either of us to keep trying to fill a role that I wasn’t cast for.

As my hands dashed across the keyboard, typing out word after word, I read back what I’d put and a close comes to mind as the words start to mix and mesh into a jumble of memories and emotions. Taking one final deep breath, the final paragraph of this chapter forms on the page. Whilst it didn’t work as I wanted, it’s not your fault, and I know it’s not mine. The dreams I have don’t match plans of your own, so it’s time I take a step back. Time that I learn to let go of the you in my head that I so desperately wanted, that I so desperately wanted to show the world as you make it for me. I’ve got to give up on you. So until the the day that these feelings are put to rest, I’ve got to leave your side and become more of a background character. Hopefully one day we can reconnect in a new way, one that we both agree on and works for both of us. But for now, it’s farewell my friend. I’ll see you around.

3 years ago // 0 N // //

My Hero Academia: Redemption of the Storm (A MHA Short Fanfic) All men are not created equal. From birth, there are those that would always have better circumstances than others. Be it being born into a wealthy family, or being blessed with good health, to even having the loving parents that make up for any luxuries they can’t afford to provide. This is a fact of life. But life has changed. The world is not what it used to be. It all began with the birth of a child in Qing Qing, China. The birth of something miraculous. The birth of a child… that glowed. From that very moment, the world changed and the normal life that humanity had once followed day after day came to a grinding halt as a new way of life burst forth. As time went on, more and more people developed abnormalities, or Quirks as they were shortly named afterwards, giving way to a dream that many had once longed for. The dream to be a hero. However, the path to be a hero is unattainable by some. Whilst the organization’s of the world maintain and regulate the hero activity, some children stray from the path of justice and veer down a darker path. The path of a villain. A life of crime and treachery that forever stains the world of humanity. Be it the simple petty criminal stealing and causing damage, to the bigger underground organizations who hide in the shadows, where power is earned by the blood you spill and the money you rob. — The sound of sirens filled the London streets as a blue streak of lightning danced from rooftop to rooftop. A group of heroes charged after it as it bounced between buildings. “Stop him now!” one of the heroes yelled as he waved his hand, forming a barrier of light in front of the lightning with his Quirk. The barrier slowly grew in size before enclosing the electricity within a cube of light. As the group of heroes surrounded the barrier, the lightning tried ramming into the the cube but bounced off and dissipated as a man crashed to the floor. He rose up, his black trenchcoat waving behind him, as he grinned at the heroes surrounding him. “Give it up villain!” another of the heroes piped up, her voice confident as she looked at the man trapped within the makeshift cage, her hands a glow with light. She looked across at her comrades and nodded as they all slowly advanced on their sides of the barrier. He shrugged in response and laughed, running his hand through his hair as he smirked at the heroes.

“The old man has enough money, doesn’t really make a difference if he loses a few grand or not does it? He’s a stingy bastard anyway” he sighed as he cocked his head to one side, “Besides, you really think your little light show is going to stop me? My Quirk has gotten me out of your grasp several times before, what makes you think that’s going to change now Society lackeys?” The man trapped in the cube went by the name of Xavier White or as the media had started to call him, Storm Rider. His Quirk, Lightning Body, allowed him to form an aura of blue electricity around himself. It gave him the ability to dart about at incredible speeds, even fly to a degree and was also incredibly useful as an offensive tool.

The heroes surrounding Xavier were from the Society of Heroes, one of many government founded organizations within the world that maintained and supervised the superhero population. This specific group, the Light Foundation, had been hounding after Xavier for a while now as he robbed person after person, intending to claim the bounty on his head and send him to prison. Xavier glanced out of the corner of his eyes at the people to each of his sides and came up with a plan of action in his head. He just needed to wait for the right moment. With each second, the Light Foundation moved in towards him, and the man who formed the barrier slowly shrunk it down with each closing step. Xavier knew he had to break out now or they might actually catch him this time. He needed to overwhelm the barrier. A gentle downpour had started to rain down from the sky and as the rooftops soaked with the water, he seized the moment and decided it was now or never. Standing up straight, Xavier smiled at the woman in charge. “It’s such a shame that you came so close to catching me but I’m afraid I don’t have time to be standing around. So I guess this is farewell” Xavier said as he bowed before them. Clicking his fingers, the aura surrounded him and started expanding outwards. It increased in size and intensity as Xavier focused harder and harder on breaking out. A onset of panic swept through the Light Foundation members.

“Keep that barrier up!” one of them cried out to the man but, as the words left their mouth, it was too late. The cube smashed into pieces as a burst of lightning roared outwards, sending the heroes flying across the rooftop. Unfortunately the woman in charge was sent hurtling over the edge, having been closest to Xavier at that point. The others wouldn’t make it in time and she feared that this would be the end as she hurtled down. She closed her eyes as the pavement got closer and closer, expecting a sudden onset of pain to hit her or worse. But the pain never came, only the words “I don’t kill”.

She opened her eyes to find herself on the floor, not a single broken bone or feeling of pain apart from a few scrapes from the burst of electricity breaking the cage. Looking around, she saw Xavier dashing away as her teammates made their way down towards her. “He saved you? Why the hell did he save you?” one of them asked her as they extended their hand. The three words she had heard him say lingered in her mind as he faded from view.

— Xavier slipped into the building, taking a sigh of relief as he pulled off his trenchcoat and hung it up. This has been the closest call yet to him being captured, but it had worked out alright and nobody had been too badly hurt. He crashed down on the couch and lay there. It had been a long night and he needed sleep for what lay ahead tomorrow.

3 years ago // 0 N // //

Rainfall As the pub moved and danced around me, I sat at my table with a vodka in hand. Today had been the worst. My mood had been gradually improving for the last few weeks but, as the laws of life go, what goes up must come down. I sipped at my drink as everyone’s enthusiasm roared in a moment. Glancing across the room, the TV flickered with the football game that was happening at this very moment. I sighed and shook my head. How anyone could find football interesting was beyond me. I turned away as my phone vibrated. Someone had messaged me but at this point, I really didn’t give a damn about responding. I always made the effort to respond right away and it always came to bite my ass. Society these days was a dog eat dog world, and everyone was out for themselves. As I brushed the hair out of my eyes as I gazed downwards, another roar of cheering came from the noisy group watching the football. I turned my attention to the screen to see one of the players doing a celebration as his goal reply flickered onto the screen. Trying to drown out the insufferable cheers and taunts from the rowdy patrons as they sloshed and gulped on their beers and ciders, I gazed out of the window at the gentle fall of rain. The darkness that accompanied this late hour blocked most things from view, but the occasional streetlamp here and there gave just enough light to show the damp paths and the patter of rainfall as it hit the ground.

I took another sip from my drink as I checked my phone. It was coming close to 11pm and, judging by the contents of the glass I was holding, I was almost finished with my drink. Reaching into my coat pocket and pulling out my wallet, I made a sound of frustration as the contents were running low. Payday wasn’t for another few days and I still needed to eat; if I could be bothered to that was. Downing the rest of my drink, putting my coat on as I walked out of the place. The rain wasn’t severe, but I put my hood up as I pulled a cigarette out of my pocket and raised my lighter. Pushing down on the button, the jet burst into life, lighting the end. I took a deep drag and sighed as I headed off into the night. Thoughts started flooding my mind as I walked, the sounds of my feet splashing in the rain as cars drove by me. Why was I such a waste of space? Why was it that no matter how I tried, it amounted to nothing? It drove me mad sometimes at the sheer nerve of some people. Was the world truly such a cruel place that showing affection and care for someone, who does the same for you, such a rare occurrence? I clenched my fist as I took another puff from the cigarette. It was infuriating. The feeling that even if you are a nice person and treat someone better than another; if that other person means more to them, you get left in the dirt. It grinded my gears and filled me with anger. Fuck them, I thought to myself. Fuck them and the bullshit and the waste of effort. Fuck them and fuck them some more. I really just didn’t want to do with this at the moment. But what was I supposed to do? Become an asshole like everyone else? Not give a fuck and act like I’m an entitled bastard? It just wasn’t me. How am I meant to do something that literally is the complete opposite of who I am? As I turned the street corner, my house came into view. The empty feeling inside me just kept getting larger and larger and I could tell it was just going to be one of those weeks. Stubbing out the cigarette on the nearby bin, I pulled out my house keys as I walked towards my front door. I just didn’t want to have to live like this anymore. It just wasn’t fair. Unfortunately that’s the way life is. It’s full of unfairness and selfishness. Even I was being selfish by wanting things to go my own way for a change. I sighed. In my head, there was nothing I could do. The negative thoughts kept shouting out and I just wanted to disappear. I decided to call it a night and go to bed. Placing the keys into the lock, I turned them and entered my home. Maybe I’d feel better in the morning. I doubt it.

3 years ago // 1 N // //

Breakdown As I stood by my car, a lit cigarette in my hand and music in my ears, I thought back to a few months ago. A sadness hung in the air as it all came rushing back to me.

We had been great, things were going well between us. Mistakes were made now and again, but there was nothing we couldn’t fix. She was studying hard for her graphics degree and I was doing well at the business role I was in. But then the arguments started. Little issues turned into big ones, and big problems turned into bigger ones. The perfect castle we had built for ourselves started to fall apart. And the cracks got larger and larger, until nothing could repair them. Finally, the wrecking ball came swooped in and it all fell down around us. ~~~ “What the fuck do you mean it meant nothing?! Why didn’t you tell me about it if it meant nothing?!” I yelled at her as I sat at the table. “I was drunk!” she cried, as she held her head in her hands, the tears streaming down her face. “That’s a shitty excuse and you know it! We’ve all been drunk before and never done anything like that?! And why didn’t you tell me about it?! Why him?!” My hands slammed down, making her shake in the spot she stood. I could feel a throbbing in my head, as the rage built up within me. This was shit. It was all fucking shit. “I’m sorry! It was a mistake!” She tried to take a step toward me but stopped as I bolted up right. “You’re sorry? You think fucking sorry makes it alright? You think it makes everything better?!” My throat felt coarse as the words left my mouth, a venom behind every syllable. Her mouth opened as if she was about to say something but I didn’t give her a chance to speak before I had walked out of the room. ~~~ I rolled down the window in my car, letting the air flow in as I remember how upset and furious I felt back then. A destructive fire burning within me that had hunted down every good thought about us and burnt it to ashes. My fists clenched the steering wheel as every angry thought filled my head. It’d been so long since we’d gone our separate ways, and I definitely had my own flaws to blame. But did things have to have turn out the way they did? Did I push her that far? “Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we had stayed together?” I slammed my foot on the break as her voice echoed in my ear. Looking in the rear view mirror, her eyes stared back at me. ~~~ “What are you doing?” she stuttered out as I emptied out my drawer into a bag. “What does it look like I’m doing?” I responded. I couldn’t bear to look at her. The girl I loved, who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with… and she had betrayed me like this. This was it. We were over. There was no coming back from this. She put her hands into the bag and started pulling things out. “No. No. No! You can’t leave! Don’t let this ruin us!” I could hear the pain in her voice but it was nothing in comparison to the thumping in my chest. “JUST STOP! LEAVE ME ALONE AND GET OUT OF MY WAY!” I hadn’t meant to but the words were screamed at her, straight in her face. I’ve never seen fear in her eyes like that before. ~~~ The eyes were staring straight into mine, I glanced over my shoulder and there she was. Sitting in the backseat. “What the fuck?!” I yelled as I pulled the car over and turned the engine off. I don’t think I’ve ever managed to get out of the car as fast as I did in that minute. But when I looked back, she was gone. “You really should stop smoking” her voice rang out from behind me, making me leap back towards my car. “How are you here?! This can’t be fucking real…” I stood there in shock, not entirely sure what the hell was going on. “Do you blame yourself for what happened between us?” she asked me as she cocked her head slightly. I looked at her, confused. Of course I blamed myself for what happened. I’m not perfect and I have plenty of issues. I worry too much, and I struggle to adjust to change. “What does it matter?” I replied. I don’t even know why I was responding, this can’t be her. I haven’t seen her since the break up. And to just appear like that? I must be going crazy. “Do you think it’s all your fault?” the words left her mouth as if she hadn’t heard my response. I got back in the car and turned the keys… nothing. I tried again. Still no response. What the hell was going on? The damned thing was working fine literally a minute ago. I tried again. Absolutely would not start. “Fuck fuck fuck” I grumbled, pulling a cigarette out and lighting it. I ran my hand through my hair as I took a drag and tried to make sense of what was going on. “You really should stop smo-” “WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!” ~~~ She ran out of the room, silent but the damage was done. I heard the front door slam and as I walked out of the room, she was nowhere in sight. Silently, I swore under my breath before punching the wall in frustration. The quiet that had settled in the apartment made me uneasy, adding to the already swirling whirlpool of emotions wrestling inside me, trying to break what little hold I had left. I had to get out of there. It was over, and I needed to leave. Heading back into the bedroom, a picture frame stood out underneath the mirror. It had a faint shine to it, as if it was beckoning me over. Without hesitation, I slowly walked over, and picked it up. The image of me and her together, smiling at a party we had gone to with our friends back when we were all young and dumb. It had been one of the best nights of my life, and now looking at it just caused me nothing but pain. A splatter of water dropped onto the glass, followed by another and another. Looking up at the mirror, I could see the tears swelling up in my eyes. Tired, dreary eyes. Nothing like I used to look like back in the picture. Time had taken it’s toll on me, and taken it’s toll on us. Maybe this was for the best. Maybe this is what we both needed. The thoughts flashed to mind as if I was trying to give myself reason for this being all right. But it wasn’t alright. This was a level of despair I hadn’t felt before. The feelings of sadness slowly warped into anger, an anger that coursed through my veins until I couldn’t take anymore. I threw the frame against the wall in a violent burst, screaming in agony as everything within me exploded. I punched the wall. I hit the bed. I kicked the door. Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. “FUCK THIS!” I yelled at the top of my lungs as I slammed both hands against the door. I fell to my knees as I curled into a ball and just sobbed. Every dream of our future was gone. Every promise we’d ever made to be together forever was broken. Every wish for our happiness was pointless. Everything hurt, and everything felt numb at the same time. ~~~ I took another drag from the cigarette as she just stood there looking at me. Or whatever this thing was. It couldn’t be her. No. It wasn’t her. It was a figment of my imagination. “Why won’t you fuck off already?” I spat out at it. I closed my eyes and started counting to 10, hoping that it would disappear by the time I had opened my eyes. As I hit 6, I felt a sharp pain on my cheek and opened my eyes to realise she had walked over to me and slapped me. “Why don’t you grow up and stop acting like a child?” she responded, a strange calm in her voice, clashing with the sad look on her face, “Not all your problems disappear by running away and hiding.” “What do you want from me?! You’re not even here! This isn’t real!” I shouted out, exasperated. “Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we had stayed together? Do you blame yourself for what happened?” she asked. I looked her or whatever it was in the eyes. And broke down. Her eyes were the first things I noticed about her when I first met her, those gorgeous eyes that shone with a sparkle like I’d never seen before. That’s when the tears started to flow from my eyes, as I fell to my knees. ~~~ I stayed on the floor for what seemed an eternity, the only company was the silence that lingered from the aftermath of our row. I didn’t know where she’d gone, and I didn’t particularly care. I just didn’t want to be here when, or if she got back. I rose to my feet and pulled my bags and suitcase out from the cupboard. Opening the drawers, grabbing as much of my stuff as I could, I shoved it all in the bags. I didn’t have time to carefully pack everything. I just grabbed what I could. I needed to be gone from here. I didn’t know where I would go, or what I’d do. I just couldn’t be here. After I had grabbed everything I needed, I walked out of the bedroom and headed for the front door. I took one last long at the apartment, as a wave of memories rushed to my head. The day we first moved in. Our housewarming party. The birthdays and holidays we’d spent together. As each memory faded from view, that pain in my chest got stronger and stronger until it was unbearable. I reached out for the door handle and pushed it open. ~~~ “Everyday. Everyday I think about what would have had happened if we’d done things a little differently, if we’d not fallen as far as we did. Of course I blame myself, I must have done something wrong for you to have gone to him. I always thought I was never good enough for you to begin with. I… I never even said-” “Goodbye?” she finished my sentence as she knelt down in front of me. “Do you regret not saying goodbye?” I looked up to see, through my tearful eyes, her face to face with me. She placed her hands on my cheek and looked at me as if staring into my very soul. ~~~ I walked down the stairs with my things, and opened the car, placing them inside. The tears were starting to well up in my eyes again. Maybe I’d go back to my parents place, or stay at a friends until I found a more permanent place. I just couldn’t stay here. I opened the driver’s seat, placing the keys in the ignition and started the car. I pulled out of the car park and started heading in a direction. And that’s when I saw her, heading back to the apartment. Her eyes were pink and rosy from where she was crying. She glanced up and saw the car, the look in her face giving way to the fact she knew what was happening. I saw her running after the car, crying out for me to stop. And then I saw the look of defeat when she realised I wasn’t going to stop, and I wasn’t coming back. I saw her fall to her knees, and then she was gone out of view. ~~~ “Yes. I regret not saying goodbye. I regret saying the things I did and I regret ever leaving” I responded. “You need to move on. Stop dwelling on the past. You were hurting and had every reason to be. You weren’t to blame. We both were. It just didn’t work out, and you need to stop letting it haunt you.” Her voice was calm, and melodic. I restrained a sniffle as I wiped my tears from my face and looked back at her. “But what if we had-” The words struggled to leave my lips, as if I knew what her response would be. “What if we had? What if we hadn’t? There’s no point thinking about it. All you’re doing is hurting yourself by holding on.” The same soothing voice came from her, and I felt my body relax as it wrapped around me like a blanket. “I loved you… I really did… I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you” “I loved you too. But things changed and things happened. You need to let go of the regrets, you need to take a step forward and get over it. You owe yourself that much. Now get in your car, take a deep breath and go start anew. Don’t remember it for the sad parts. Remember the fun we had when we were happy, and simply move on.” She smiled as the words left her mouth and I felt a sudden weakness at my knees. “But the car won’t start, I’m going to need to call a mechanic-” “Won’t it? Give me the keys a moment”. She placed her hand on mine and slowly opened it, taking the keys from within my grasp. Walking over to the car, she leaned through the window and placed the keys into the ignition. With a turn of her wrist, the engine roared into life, causing me to shake my head in confusion. “But it didn’t… it wouldn’t work…” I just sat there, looking at the car as it vibrated with the soft hum of the engine. She turned the keys again and pulled them out, walking back over to me. “It wouldn’t work? Or you didn’t want it to work…?” she asked, holding her hand out for me, beckoning me to my feet. My brain couldn’t form a response that made any sense, so my body responded by taking her hand and rising to my feet, “It’s time to go. We didn’t work out, but it’s not the end of the world. There’s someone out there waiting for you, someone who’ll make me seem like a small fry in the big ocean that is the world. At least you can get one regret out of the way now.” She looked at me as she stepped closer. “I don’t want to…” I started to say before she placed her hands back on my face and pulled me in closer. “Say it. Just say it” she whispered. I felt her breath against my skin as she pulled me in closer and closer to her. Her lips pressed against mine and we kissed for the final time. As we kissed every happy memory that had been burned away came to mind. A timeline of memories playing in reverse, from moving into the apartment, to our first christmas together, to our first kiss, to the very first moment that we had met. And as the kiss ended, the words came out, shattering the silence that formed around us in that very moment. “I will always love you… but goodbye” When I opened my eyes she was gone, all that was left was the lingering feeling on my lips. What had just happened? I still couldn’t quite figure out what, but then I felt the warm trickle of tears down my face as every emotion I had suppressed since then came flooding out. A barrage of tears and sadness that sent me to my knees again. But there was something missing. The weight on my shoulders felt lighter and I finally realised something I should of realised a long time ago. It was time to get over it. Time to get over her. It was time to move on.

3 years ago // 0 N // //

The Final Fight : Incomplete Yuri looked up at the door in front of him, an unsettling silence around as he prepared himself for what lay ahead. This was it. If he didn’t stop Dimitri from opening the portal now, the world would be doomed, and Natalia along with it. He couldn’t let her be sacrificed for Dimitri’s wicked plans. He unsheathed his longsword, a pitch black blade on a white hilt, that had handed the many foes and monsters on his journey a swift end. The red runes that allowed him to use magic shining a faint glow, slightly illuminating the dark path he stood in. Taking one final moment to gather his thoughts, he pushed himself against the iron door and opened the way to the grand hall; the final battle was waiting. Yuri slowly walked forward, cautious of any traps his foe had laid in wait. The grass at his feet Dimitri may have been swain by the dark powers promised to him by his late master, but he was a talented spellsword nonetheless and Yuri knew that even if he himself was a great spellsword, he would have to pull out all the stops to ensure that his foe’s plans were halted. His eyes darted across the room, searching for Natalia. The only sources of light were a few candles scattered across the way, illuminating patches of grass here and there; and the cracks in the walls where the building had given way to the passage of time. But then he saw it. A figure lying on top of the altar at the end of the room. A flowing gown that glimmered slightly as the flames of the candles danced and pranced on the end of their wicks. His pace quickened as he made haste towards her, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw a silhouette emerge from the shadows, and the familiar light of a green magic circle form around a hand. Slamming his blade into the ground, Yuri barely had enough time to cast a protection spell before the winds strengthened and blasted at him. “I knew you would come here Yuri!” a voice cackled, booming through the wind as if it was nothing at all, “the beloved princess, and the silent spellsword who protects her from the shadows… It would almost make me cry… if it wasn’t so damned pathetic!” A second magic circle formed around the figures other hand, and the gale intensified further, causing Yuri’s protection spell to splutter out. Yuri tried to hold on to the sword, but the gust was too strong, and he was flung backwards as his grip gave way. “You’re too late Yuri. It’s over, I’ve won and you’ve lost. You can’t stop me now.” Dimitri laughed as he walked closer to Natalia. One of the circles dissipated to be replaced by another one, a violent red as Dimitri placed his hand over Natalia. He muttered a few words over her slumbering body and a harsh red light filled the room from beneath the altar. Flames leapt and roared from the pyres around the ruins as Natalia’s figure slowly rose from the stone pedestal, and hovered in midair, as if she was crucified upon a cross. As Dimitri gazed upon the spectacle of the princess’ frame, a bigger magic circle started to form behind her. “You see Yuri! Once this rune has fully form-” Dimitri turned to face the hero, only to be met by a blinding light that smacked him against the wall. “Let’s end this Dimitri. I will stop you one way or another.” Yuri staggered to his feet, still reeling from being flung across the floor by the gales. “You fucking bas… It is time I was rid of you once and for all! You were always such a fucking pain!” Dimitri spat blood out before drawing his sword, “by the time I’m done with you, the circle will be complete and you’ll be forced to watch as I offer the royal blood of the beloved bitch to the nether!” As Dimitri flung fireballs at Yuri, slowly advancing forward, Yuri lunged towards the final obstacle. Ducking and weaving, he ran towards his sword, grabbing it as he rolled by and charged at Dimitri. He swung the blade high as the clang of metal echoed throughout the hall, Dimitri parrying the blade away with his own. Yuri slammed his hand to the ground, a purple rune appearing where he had, as lightning surged forth from the circle and raced towards Dimitri. The villain leapt backwards, slicing his blade across the path of the flowing energy which exploded in a burst of electricity. Dimitri wasted no time in dashing forward, placing his hand on the ground as he leapt at Yuri, swinging his leg around and slamming it into his foe’s side. Yuri skidded along the ground as he was pushed back, as Dimitri lunged forward again with a vicious flurry of slashes and explosions. He took a glance over towards Natalia to see the circle was half complete, he needed to hurry if he was to save her. He needed to use everything he had, even if it costed him greatly. He kicked Dimitri back, and sheathed his sword, before placing his hands on the ground and chanting an encantation. A bright red, blazing rune appeared around him, swiftly followed by a purple one and then a green one. As Yuri looked towards Dimitri, he saw his foe doing a similar act. An all or nothing gambit from both sides. A burst of energy flowed through the area, before a blinding force of power launched from Yuri and Dimitri, clashing in the middle in a beautiful display of colours. The energy was too great however, exploding in between them as smoke filled the room. Dimitri prepared his sword, waiting for the smoke to settle but a flash of crimson filled his vision, followed by a sharp pain. He looked down to see his left hand wasn’t there anymore, and a giant gash across his chest.

3 years ago // 0 N // //

Goodbye Bro As the stars twinkled in the night sky, the two guys walked through the forest, a cold breeze blowing through the trees. “Why do you have to go?” one of them asked as he stopped in his tracks, his gaze aimed downwards. “It’s just one of those things bro. No-one saw it coming. It’s just the way it is” He walked over to his friend and placed his hand on his shoulder. His friend just shook his head, and brushed his hand away. “It’s not fair! Everyone leaves me and now you too?! First Mum, then Sarah and now you? Please Jack, just don’t go! You’re my best friend, I can’t do this without you…” he sobbed as the tears started to flow down his face. Falling to his knees in defeat, he buried his head against them and just sobbed. His friend walked over, crouched in front of him and just stayed there for a moment, looking up at the stars. “I’m not really going though Dev. I’m always going to be here” Jack pointed a finger at Dev’s chest “Like I know that sounds gay as fuck, but no matter how far apart we are, I’ll always be there. Now quit crying, stand up straight and show me how macho you are, princess”. He jokingly punched Dev in the shoulder, and grabbed him in a headlog, rubbing his fist against his hair. “Get off me asshole! Who the hell are you calling Princess?!” Dev shouted back, laughing as he pushed Jack off him. The two sat there for a moment, laughing before Dev went silent again. “I’m going to miss you Jack. I really am.” Jack shrugged and smiled back, “I know bro, I’m just that amazing” Both of them laughed again, the leaves rustling around them as the nights breeze flowed through the path. “You should probably head home now, it’s getting late and your Dad’s probably wondering where the frick you’ve got to” Jack sighed as he looked back up to the stars again, rising to his feet. The moon was shining bright tonight, a circle of white light beaming out against the dark sky. Dev stood up, brushing the dirt off his trousers. He took a deep breath and counted to five, trying to hold back the tears that were starting to fill his eyes again. He placed his hand on his chest and looked at Jack. “In here? Always yeah?” He asked, a sad tone behind his voice. “Always. Don’t forget me Dev. I won’t forget you” Jack smiled, a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless. “Never bro. I’ll never forget you. ” Wiping the tears from his eyes, Dev turned around, clenching his fists as he prepared himself. “Goodbye Jack. Goodbye.” “See ya Dev. Take care bro.” Dev took another deep breath before hurtling off into the night, tears streaming behind him as he ran back home. Jack stood there, watching his friend go, the breeze rustling his hair as he looked at the stars one last time. “I guess it’s time for me to go to” he sighed to himself, and just like that. He was gone.

3 years ago // 0 N // //