Get breaking news alerts and special reports. The news and stories that matter, delivered weekday mornings.

“Just keep swimming.”

For the past year, Alexandra Greenwald has scribbled those three words on the back of her hand, just above her thumb, whenever she competes for the Hawkeyes gymnastics team at the University of Iowa.

The words are a reminder of Nick Dworet, her best friend, a competitive swimmer who won a full scholarship to the University of Indianapolis before he was killed in the Feb. 14 shooting at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida.

“It’s a way for me to compete in honor of him, knowing that he will never get the chance to fulfill his dream,” Greenwald, 18, said.

She writes the words when she misses him, when she is struggling, when she needs some extra motivation — not only as she flips through the air at the gym, but also as she confronts the pain of continuing her life without her friend since kindergarten.

“It was a way to move through this,” Greenwald said, “and know, as I keep going, it’ll keep getting better.”

Greenwald demonstrates how she writes "Just keep swimming" on her hand before every competition. Kathryn Gamble / for NBC News

That’s a hope many share in Parkland, almost a year after a gunman ended the lives of 14 students and three staff members. As the first anniversary approaches, grieving families and friends are bracing for a fresh wave of emotions. Some are angry about the district’s failure to prevent the shooting. Others are anxious about the anniversary itself, and the memories that will surface.

For the parents of the slain students, the anniversary is just another hard day in a year full of hard days.

“The anniversary for me is really meaningless because every day for me is Feb. 14,” said Andrew Pollack, whose daughter Meadow Pollack, 18, was killed. “I feel the same way every day about losing my daughter.”

On the anniversary, one student said she plans to visit the grave of a classmate who was killed. Another said she wants to forget about the shooting altogether — she and her boyfriend plan to leave town for the day. Some Stoneman Douglas graduates who have scattered across the country are planning memorials at their colleges; others will remember quietly, on their own.

For current students, Stoneman Douglas will offer counseling and wellness activities and will encourage students to do service projects, such as working in the school’s garden or preparing food for the shooting’s first responders. In the evening, the city of Parkland will hold a vigil at Pine Trails Park.

Greenwald keeps the memorial card for Nick Dworet in her dorm room. Kathryn Gamble / for NBC News

Eric Garner, a television production and film teacher at Stoneman Douglas, said he intends to spend the day in the school’s garden, where he hopes to find comfort during what he knows will be a painful day.

“I think it’s going to be years until we’re OK,” Garner said. “I’m not sure when that will ever happen.”

‘Birthdays, Thanksgiving, holidays, they all hurt’

One year after the shooting, the “what ifs” remain overwhelming.

Let our news meet your inbox. The news and stories that matters, delivered weekday mornings. This site is protected by recaptcha

Friends of Joaquin Oliver, who loved playing basketball and Mario Kart, think about how much fun he would have had in Orlando, where many of them moved for college after graduation. Carmen Schentrup’s friends wonder how she would have decorated her dorm room. Nick Dworet’s parents think about how he would have been training hard to compete in the 2020 Olympics.

“For Nick, 2020 was a big goal for him,” Mitch Dworet, Nick’s father, said. “Those kind of goals, those hurt.”

"There are so many hurtful things constantly,” Annika Dworet, Nick’s mother, added. “Like in the fall, when everyone is posting about their kids going to college and Nick is not. Birthdays, Thanksgiving, holidays, they all hurt.”