ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The nation’s departing Ambassador to the United States has reportedly scrolled through his rolodex in Washington this afternoon looking a mate who’d be able to shoehorn him into a role upon his eventual return to Australia.

Joh Hockey, a former Treasurer of land girt by dead coral and asylum seekers, started at the top of the alphabet – calling an old friend who’s currently atop the AMP tyre fire.

After a short chat, Joh decided taking a private sector job at AMP would not be something of interest to him.

Hockman Sachs rocked back in his chair and thought this wouldn’t be as easy as he thought.

With a twist of his supple wrist, the ethnically North Sydnaese man landed on an old school friend currently on the board of the Commonwealth Bank.

But much to Joh’s chagrin, his old college friend thought it’d be a bad look, a bit crass for a man of Joh’s character and past employment to serve on the board of a big four bank.

Cursing Jesus, a now frustrated Hockdog gave his rolodex one hell of a twirl.

Eureka!

As the dull slap of laminated card paper subsided, the name of an old friend who owned him a favour was looking back at him.

“Qantas,” said Joh softly to himself.

A gurgle slithered out of Joh’s thorax.

“Think of the perks! It’s a national icon, too! I’ll give him a ring in a minute.”

But first, Joh had to deal with the breakfast burrito he had last night for dinner. They were now ready to part ways.

More to come.