DES MOINES–speaking at a rally here, presidential candidate Ben Carson today compared the federal government’s requirement that Americans buy stamps in order to mail letters “just like slavery.”

“It used to be oppression with whips and chains and dogs,” said Carson. “And now it’s just the same, except instead of abuse and murder, it’s the forcible exchange of sixty cents for a regular-sized envelope.”

Carson went on to compare the leaders of the Postal Service to the Nazi high command, and Postmaster General Megan Brennan to Hitler.

“People may say I’m exaggerating, but I say that you can’t possibly exaggerate when you’re defending the freedoms our soldiers have died to protect,” said Carson. “And if you don’t think that our so-called postal system is just a way of keeping hardworking Americans in chains, then you’ve obviously never tried to mail a dozen thank-you notes when you only have five dollars in your pocket.”

Carson went on to note other forms of modern oppression that he thinks are just as bad as slavery, including yield signs, perfume samples inside men’s magazines, and Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Postage is never mentioned in the Bible.