POMONA, CA—Acknowledging that although she has always imagined her special day as something out of a storybook, bride-to-be Beth Wharton admitted Wednesday that it would be kind of thrilling if someone objected at her wedding. “I’ve spent so much time and money planning the perfect wedding, but I can’t deny it would really take everything to the next level if, say, one of my exes burst through the chapel doors and begged me to reconsider,” said Wharton, 27, ruminating on the possibility of a handsome man rushing to the altar, proclaiming that she deserves nothing less than perfect happiness, and declaring, over the stunned silence of her friends and family, that he had to at least try to win her back. “Watching the baffled priest try to regain control of the situation as my fiancé haughtily demands we dispense with the vows and cut to the I-dos would make the nuptials one for the books. And if the entire congregation erupts into a free-for-all when the best man attempts to toss the guy out…Well, a girl can dream, anyway.” Wharton further speculated about how the long train on her wedding dress might complicate the process of fleeing from the church, though it would look amazing when she hopped on the back of her former lover’s motorcycle and peeled out of the ceremony.

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