FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT

March 23 was a dark day for football fans and players alike, as the NRL made the difficult decision to suspend the remainder of the competition in response to the COVID-19 pandemic.

However, another tragic casualty of the move has been thousands of lawyers, who would otherwise be cleaning up multiple PR disasters caused by the messy combination of NRL players and alcohol.

“It’s been really tough” says Peter Grey, formerly Junior Partner at legal firm Gouge & Scram.

“Things were going great, and then bam, here we all are, lined up outside Centrelink. The worst part isn’t being unemployed; it’s the fact that there is no-one to sue for causing my termination”.

But whilst some of his former colleagues have taken the news badly, Peter is doing his best to stay positive.

“Hey, they’ll come back eventually” he said, straightening his tie.

“And when they do, I’m sure there will be some kind of welcome back celebration, maybe a strip club might be involved, definitely alcohol, probably some drugs and boom, my phone will start ringing again.”

“How does this sound: ‘Your Honour, my client feels terrible about his actions on the night in question and would like to apologise to everyone who witnessed his disgusting behaviour. To show how remorseful he is, my client has offered to spend two hours in the Children’s Ward visiting all the sick kids who have contracted coronavirus.'”

“Yeah, pretty happy with that one”.