Northumbria police will adopt a “softly, softly” approach to Sunday’s Tyne-Wear derby at St James’ Park after a rapprochement among Newcastle United and Sunderland fans prompted by the tragedy of flight MH17.

The north-east derbies have gained a reputation for violence, volatility and generally toxic atmospheres in recent seasons but the death of two Newcastle fans, John Alder and Liam Sweeney, when the Malaysian Airlines plane was brought down over Ukraine in July, has altered the landscape almost beyond recognition.

The police are dispensing with escorts for visiting fans, “rings of steel” road closures and the enforced marching of away supporters to St James’.

Sunderland fans helped create a spirit of reconciliation by contributing to fund-raising efforts for the families of the victims, who were en route to New Zealand to follow Newcastle’s summer tour. Since then supporters’ groups from both sides have met to discuss how to draw the poison from the fixture and transform hatred to friendly rivalry.

Latching on to this new, welcome, spirit, Ch Supt Steve Neill is adopting a radically different approach to policing the game which he hopes will mark the beginning of a new era. It will be the 10th derby he has taken charge of and he is confident an atmosphere of mutual respect will prevail. He said: “My message to fans is this: ‘It’s your derby.’ These are always fantastic occasions and it’s going to be even more so this year.

“It is 21 December, people are going to be excited about Christmas, and people will be excited for the football match and I want that excitement to really come through on the day and for it to be a really positive experience for everyone, that’s the ethos of the whole police operation. The fans want the passion of the derby but some of the things that have happened in previous years now need to be consigned to history. The disorder of 2013 reflected badly on everybody concerned.

“We need to use Christmas and the very sad deaths of Liam Sweeney and John Alder and make sure 21 December is a positive legacy for the future. This is about two groups of passionate supporters coming together. And having the sheer number of such passionate football fans in such close proximity is a great thing to celebrate. This is the 10th derby I have had the privilege to command and it does feel different. I’m absolutely confident this will be a fantastic showcase for the passion of north-east football fans.”

It represents quite a contrast to when Sunderland fans travelling to Newcastle had to use specially assigned trains or club coaches. Now they can make the short journey independently with those arriving at Newcastle Central Station no longer escorted to St James’ by police officers, horses and dogs.

“The police engagement strategy will be very friendly and very festive,” Neill said. “We are not going out on some sort of battle footing.

With the Football Supporters’ Federation coming up with the slogan “A Derby To Be Proud Of” after they staged meetings between the rival fans, the scene is set for a wonderful occasion.“There has definitely been a shift this time. Both myself and the officers that speak to fans on a daily basis can feel that. The money raised by Sunderland fans after the Malaysian Airlines tragedy sent out a really strong message to Newcastle fans that they felt their pain. We feel it’s going to be a very positive derby.”