1. Ariel and Eric, The Little Mermaid.

"He stops and reaches for a washcloth as I pant against him, wanting... needing. My hands rest on his firm, muscular thighs. Squirting more soap onto the washcloth, he leans down and washes between my legs. I hold my breath." — bathtub sex, Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 135

2. Tiana and Naveen, The Princess and the Frog.

"Very slowly, he pulls down my sweatpants. Oh, how demeaning is this? Demeaning and scary and hot. He's making such a meal of this. My heart is in my mouth. I can barely breathe. Shit, is this going to hurt?" — the first spank, Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 274

3. Aurora and Phillip, Sleeping Beauty.

"He lifts me up, and suddenly we're moving, my arms still tethered above my head, and I can feel the cool wood of the polished cross at my back, and he's popping the buttons on his jeans. He puts me down against the cross briefly while he slides on a condom, and then his hands wrap around my thighs and he lifts me again." — "trussed up" sex, Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 324

4. Jasmine and Aladdin, Aladdin.

"'I am going to tie you to that bed, Anastasia. But I'm going to blindfold you first and,' he reveals his iPod in his hand, 'you will not be able to hear me. All you will hear is the music I am going to play for you.'" — a whole new world of sensory deprivation sex, Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 487

5. Mulan and Li Shang, Mulan.

"He binds my wrists together with his tie, knotting it firmly. His eyes are bright with excitement. He tugs at the binding. It's secure. Some Boy Scout he must have been to learn this knot. What now?" — Ana's first achievement badge, Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 139

6. Cinderella and Prince Charming, Cinderella.

"He holds out his hand, and in his palm are two shining silver balls linked with a thick black thread... I look questioningly up at him. 'I am going to put these inside you, and then I'm going to spank you, not for punishment, but for your pleasure and mine.' He pauses, gauging my wide-eyed reaction." — a Ben Wa party, Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 362

7. Pocahontas and John Smith, Pocahontas.

"'We're here because you said yes, Anastasia. And you ran from me. I am going to hit you six times, and you will count them with me.' Why the hell doesn't he just get on with it? He always makes such a meal of punishing me." — a belt too far, Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 505

8. Belle and Beast, Beauty and the Beast.

"Christian is standing over me grasping a plaited leather riding crop... He flicks the crop slowly into his palm as he gazes down on me. He's smiling, triumphant." — the (wet) dream sequence sex, Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 231

And last but by no means least, the obvious pairing.

9. Anna and Kristoff, Frozen.

"He reaches between my legs and pulls out the blue string — what!? — and gently takes my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Sweet mother of all... jeez. And then he's inside me." — that too-wild-for-the-movie tampon scene, Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 430

Kristoff and Anna/Christian and Ana; it all makes perfect sense, right!? (Also, dat ice merchant ass.) Anyway, pleasant future Disney movie viewings; things will never be the same again.

Note: All images courtesy of an incredibly talented DeviantArt illustrator, who has asked to remain nameless given the sensitivity~* of their work here.

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Alex Rees Deputy Editor of News I’m the news director here at Cosmopolitan.com, and I could really use a cup of tea right now.

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