IT WAS football’s version of being on the front lines.

Embedded with Essendon, we had unfettered access to the players’ most torturous session of pre-season.

Split into competing sides — Team Cobra v Team Mongoose — they would slog it out for 100 painful minutes in the “Dons Challenge”.

PRESSURE: CHAPMAN NOT TRIGGER HAPPY OVER CONTRACT

There was a 2km time-trial, two 1km time-trials, four 500m time-trials, 5km on the Wattbike, 1km of rowing, 2km on the fluid grinder and a goalkicking and field kicking test.

We were not only there to see the carnage unfold, but to help inflict it. The stakes were high, with the winning team to be given this weekend off.

SCROLL DOWN TO SEE WHICH BOMBER MAKES A MESS OF TULLAMARINE

We arrive to get the brief from high performance manager Justin Crow.

“We do match-day running, match-day football drills and we simulate everything as well as we can, but rarely do our guys get that same external competitive pressure like match day,” Crow explains.

“I don’t mind if you get up in a few guys’ faces.”

We sidle up to Paul Chapman. “There might be a few times I tell you to piss off if I’m buggered,” Chapman says.

Chappy’s Team Mongoose link arms for a face-off with their rivals. Think Haka, but with no intimidation factor.

Chapman starts with the 500s where he decides to do all four in one hit. He’s soon on his haunches and full of regrets.

How’s the body? “It’s feeling like it’s 33 years of age,” he says. “I’ve gone about this the wrong way, I reckon.”

He soon recovers and walks past the goalkicking test just as rival Jake Melksham is shanking one. “This is where we’ll make up our points,” Chapman yells across the ground.

As Chappy heads off on the 2km run, Dustin Fletcher has drawn a crowd as he rips into the grinder. Heath Hocking is barking encouragement. “Keep going Lankster, looking good, nearly done.”

Nearby on the bike, Adam Cooney is fearing the worst. “This isn’t really my forte. I’m more a synchronised swimmer,” Cooney says.

Five kilometres later, he’s no longer joking. “My quads!” he pleads.

Chapman has knocked over the 2km, but before we can talk we’re interrupted by the sound of David Myers vomiting behind us. The grinder has its first victim.

Back in front of goal, Brendon Goddard has his issues with a tricky wind. Lining up for his fourth shot, he says: “Right post, has to be.” He hooks it anyway. “S---!” he screams.

Chappy has just finished his bike leg. We find him on his backside.

“I tried to go to a happy place,” he says.

“I tried to go to Fiji, but there were a lot people around me talking about how hard things are which didn’t help.”

Ariel Steinberg is flying, but he’s almost delirious at this point. “We should just finish now,” he says. Crack open a few beers — how good would that be?”

Our eyes are drawn to young Irish rookie Conor McKenna, who is walking back from the goals.

A voice calls out: “How many out of five Conor?” The teenager holds his hand in the shape of a zero. The ball drop may need a little work.

Back at the bikes things are getting messy.

Joe Daniher has got off the saddle and is in trouble. On hands and knees, he gives everyone a look at what he’s been eating.

“That’s why I set up the bike and walked away,” Melksham offers. “I was feeling sick”.

No one offers to hold Daniher’s hair back, but Alex Browne can’t resist putting a hand on his back and giving a thumbs up for the cameras.

Just as Daniher is composing himself, Myers has gone berserk on the rower and has collapsed to the ground to vomit again.

“The later you go, whatever you do last is going to be hard,” he says.

“Everything has been at max effort today, so by the time you’re on your third or fourth thing you’re wrecked. Everyone’s tired so the coaches will be happy.”

They are. So are Team Cobra, who are crowned winners and will get the weekend to put their feet up.