This Way to the Democrat Debates

Joe Biden still holds an early lead in the 2020 Democratic presidential race.

Can any of the current frontrunners beat Trump? I doubt it. Perhaps a dark horse will emerge from the pack and gain popularity, but I doubt that, too. If one does, then I will spend some time reading up on them. Otherwise, I will concentrate on following the leaders. Here are my short, succinct thoughts on five of them:

BIDEN: Creepy Joe. Career politician Joe. Scandal-ridden Joe. Very old, slow Joe. Even Obama is embarrassed by him. He may be there as a placeholder for crooked Hillary, who hopes the Democrats will beg her to run again once they realize that Sleepy Joe has loser written all over him.

WARREN: Pocahontas promises free stuff and reparations. Maybe she should give Native Americans in her state some money out of her own pocket. She needs to pay them back for stealing their heritage in order to further her career. Trump would scalp her.

MAYOR PETE: Butti-whatever is a novelty. Some people think it’s time for our first gay president, but we already had one—Obama. We already had a first-man, too

BERNIE: He’s even older than Biden, but it doesn’t deter him from cranking up his communist claptrap for one more drive toward the presidency. I showed him driving a Model T because Bernie is too old and his communism is nothing new.

KAMALA “Horizontal” HARRIS: I thought she might be the frontrunner by now, but the ‘female Obama’ is not off to a fast start. Perhaps because people are completely and utterly sick of the lying fraud that is Obama.

They’re all losers. I hope Hillary will jump back in to save her party, which she owns lock, stock, and lying corporate media barrel. Trump defeating her a second time would be glorious.

—Ben Garrison

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