(Note: My math is awful. If it's wrong, tell me.)

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Cartman Gets an Anal Probe

Ass: 15

Bastard: 1

Bitch: 6

Piss: 2

Damn: 12

Hell: 6

Fuck: 7

Shit: 2

Total: 51

Average: 6.375

Time Average: 25.88 Seconds

Volcano

Ass: 3

Bastard: 4

Damn: 6

Dick: 1

Hell: 6

Piss: 1

Total: 21

Average: 3.5

Time Average: 1.03 Minutes (62.85 Seconds)

Weight Gain 4,000

Ass: 12

Bastard: 1

Bitch: 2

Cracker: 1

Damn: 7

Hell: 2

Hick: 1

Piss: 1

Total: 27

Average: 3.375

Time Average: 48.88 Seconds

Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride

Ass: 19

Bastard: 1

Damn: 4

Hell: 5

Queer: 1

Total: 30

Average: 6

Time Average: 44 Seconds

An Elephant Makes Love To A Pig

Ass: 22

Bastard: 2

Bitch: 2

Cracker: 1

Damn: 1

Piss: 2

Hell: 2

Fuck: 1

Total: 33

Average: 4.125

Time Average: 40 seconds

Death

Ass: 5

Bastard: 1

Bitch: 6

Damn: 7

Dick: 1

Hell: 4

Hoe: 1

Fuck: 1

Whore: 3

Total: 29

Average: 3.22

Time Average: 45.51 Seconds

Pinkeye

Ass: 12

Bastard: 6

Damn: 6

Piss: 2

Hell: 10

Skank: 1

Whore: 3

Total: 40

Average: 5.71

Time Average: 33 seconds

Starvin' Marvin

Ass: 3

Bastard: 2

Damn: 3

Piss: 1

Hell: 5

Shit: 1

Total: 15

Average: 2.5

Time Average: 1.46 Minutes (88 Seconds)

Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo

Ass: 1

Bastard: 1

Bitch: 36

Damn: 3

Hell: 6

Fuck: 4

Total: 51

Average: 8.5

Time Average: 25.88 Seconds

Damien

Ass: 7

Bastards: 2

Bitch: 3

Cracker: 1

Damn: 5

Hell: 6

Total: 24

Average: 4

Time Average: 55 Seconds

Tom's Rhinoplasty

Ass: 8

Bastard: 1

Bitch: 1

Cracker: 1

Damn: 4

Hell: 2

Fuck: 2

Total: 19

Average: 2.71

Time Average: 1.15 Minutes (69 Seconds)

Mecha-Streisand

Ass: 4

Bastard: 2

Bitch: 7

Damn: 8

Hell: 4

Piss: 2

Hick: 1

Fuck: 1

Total: 29

Average: 3.625

Time Average: 45.51 Seconds

Cartman's Mom Is A Dirty Slut

Ass: 2

Bastard: 2

Bitch: 3

Damn: 11

Hell: 7

Piss: 1

Fuck: 2

Whore: 1

Total: 29

Average: 3.625

Time Average: 45.51 Seconds

Stats

Most Vulgar Episode(s): Cartman Gets an Anal Probe, Mr.Hankey, The Christmas Poo

Least Vulgar Episode(s): Starvin' Marvin

Lowest Average: 2.5

Highest Average: 8.5

Overall Average: 4.40

Lowest Time Average: 25.88 Seconds

Highest Time Average:1.46 Minutes (88 Seconds)

Overall Time Average: 48.38 Seconds

Most Used Swear(s): Ass (113)

Least Used Swear(s): Hoe, Queer (1)

Uses

Ass: 113

Bastard: 26

Bitch: 66 (Jesse Pinkman would be jealous!)

Cracker: 4

Damn: 77

Dick: 2

Fuck: 18

Hell: 65

Hoe: 1

Piss: 12

Queer: 1

Shit: 3

Whore: 7

Total Amount of Vulgarities

There are a total of 395 total swears in the 1st season. In comparison to the movie, 399 swears, Season One has 98% percent of the amount the movie has but 3.5X the runtime.