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CAPITALISING on President Donald Trump’s first trip abroad since becoming leader of his country in January, the American public hastily hired a locksmith this morning in order to change the locks on the doors to the White House, thus ensuring Trump’s old keys would no longer grant him access to the building.

Trump’s short week away in the Middle East and Europe has so far only resulted in several hundred incidents which have invited intense embarrassment and shame on the American people, prompting the American public to take drastic action.

“Can we get a mortise lock, a dead bolt and a padlock? We just want to be sure he won’t be getting back in when he returns. Oh, and is there, like, a limit to how many latches you can put on doors?” America said, urging the locksmith to move as quickly as possible, for fear Trump could return at any minute.

The controversial politician made headlines yesterday after shoving fellow NATO leader and president of Montenegro, Dusko Markovic, out of the way so Trump could get to the front of a grouping of world leaders.

The incident is just one in a long line of incidents this week, which also saw his administration deliver a budget that contradicts every promise made by Trump on the campaign trail in relation to cuts to vital programs availed of by some of the most vulnerable in American society.

While the American public was changing the locks on the White House doors, they also took the time to remove a number of Russian flags which were dotted around the Oval Office as well as removing over 4,000 photos of Trump’s inauguration crowd.