Kate McTiriss's Proposal





The Following Containment Procedure Was Unanimously Approved by Site Directors' Executive Committee of the Whole and the O5 Council

Item #: SCP-001

Object Class: Thaumiel (Subjective assessment)

Special Containment Procedures: It was the unanimous subjective opinion of the Site Directors' Executive Committee of the Whole on May 3, 20██ that the SCP-001 database entry slot should be locked to edits and only made available for modification with seven (7) private keys belonging to members of the O5 Council. It was the majority subjective opinion of SDECotW that the object believed to have been most recently designated SCP-001 should no longer be given an SCP designation, and should be stored in a standard high-value containment locker in Site-19.

It was the unanimous opinion of SDECotW that no objective claims or statements should be made in the main SCP-001 page of the Foundation Database under any circumstances, only verifiably true records of the opinions of Foundation governing bodies in the past.

It was the majority opinion of the O5 Council on May 3, 20██ that in the event that Entity Thaumiel, Dr. Mary Nakayama, or any entity claiming to be either makes contact with the SCP Foundation, they will be referred to the O5 Council for negotiation and cooperation. It was the majority opinion of the O5 Council that no efforts will be made at this time to neutralize Entity Thaumiel or the vulnerabilities of the SCP-001 database position.

Description: It was the unanimous opinion of SDECotW and the O5 Council on May 3, 20██ that any statement of fact made on this specific SCP Foundation Database page ⦿/Procedures/001/SCP-001.ftml becomes objectively true. The prior unanimous opinion of SDECotW and the O5 Council holds that modifications to this page have vast, and potentially infinite, Category–Aleph Room ("Greatest Concern") reality modification consequences; the prior unanimous opinion of SDECotW and the O5 Council held that no further testing on these effects is to occur due to the potential XK/CK/LK/VK/ZK/תK-Class Scenarios believed to be highly probable with said testing.

It was the unanimous opinion of SDECotW that other pages within the ⦿/Procedures/001/ portion of the Foundation Database have no anomalous effects, and that prior versions of the SCP-001 database leading to the believed discovery of SCP-001's effects and the possible creation of Entity Thaumiel are to be stored as subpages in this directory for reference.

It was the unanimous opinion of SDECotW that all blank spots on the Foundation database shall be checked for further Category–Aleph Room reality modification anomalies, and that only a series of 1,000 thoroughly checked database spots shall be available to Foundation personnel for the designation of new Special Containment Procedures at any given time.

▷ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Feb_18,_20██_1.ftml ▽ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Feb_18,_20██_1.ftml Foundation Database changelog:

Creating new SCP documentation. Trying it in the 2███ slot, but the object's effects might move it over to -001. Had the admins unlock the empty 001 slot (why was it empty? convenient, I guess) just in case.

- mnakayama, Feb 18 20██ 11:34 AM Item #: SCP-001 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001 is to be kept in a standard low-value containment locker at Site-91a. Additional research into SCP-001's effects will be the responsibility of Site-91a Chief Numerologist Dr. Mary Nakayama. Description: SCP-001 is a vinyl record containing Esquivel's 1958 album Exploring New Sounds in Stereo (RCA). The album has an anomalous impact on digital numerical lists that contain it. The album, when listed in text saved digitally, will always be listed first, even if it was intended to be listed in another position. SCP-001 was sent to Billboard magazine as a review copy prior to its release in 1958. Its effects were not noticed until December 20██, when Billboard intern M. S██████, tasked with updating the manual files of review albums in magazine headquarters to a database format noted SCP-001's effects and reported it to superiors. Efforts to locate the RCA employee(s) responsible for sending SCP-001 to Billboard are ongoing. Primary Containment Theory currently holds that SCP-001 was a crude attemtp to manipulate Billboard's album rankings which failed due to the manual typesetting in use by the magazine at the time.

▷ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Feb_18,_20██_2.ftml ▽ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Feb_18,_20██_2.ftml Foundation Database changelog:

Yep, moved right over. Weird, funny. Going to look into this more (might be some potential here?). Also, fixed a typo, thanks to Dr Amoralles.

- mnakayama, Feb 18 20██ 11:41 AM Item #: SCP-001 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001 is to be kept in a standard low-value containment locker at Site-91a. Additional research into SCP-001's effects will be the responsibility of Site-91a Chief Numerologist Dr. Mary Nakayama. Description: SCP-001 is a vinyl record containing Esquivel's 1958 album Exploring New Sounds in Stereo (RCA). The album has an anomalous impact on digital numerical lists that contain it. The album, when listed in text saved digitally, will always be listed first, even if it was intended to be listed in another position.2 SCP-001 was sent to Billboard magazine as a review copy prior to its release in 1958. Its effects were not noticed until December 20██, when Billboard intern M. S██████, tasked with updating the manual files of review albums in magazine headquarters to a database format noted SCP-001's effects and reported it to superiors.3 Efforts to locate the RCA employee(s) responsible for sending SCP-001 to Billboard are ongoing. Primary Containment Theory currently holds that SCP-001 was a crude attemtp attempt to manipulate Billboard's album rankings which failed due to the manual typesetting in use by the magazine at the time.

▷ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Apr_1,_20██_1.ftml ▽ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Apr_1,_20██_1.ftml Foundation Database changelog:

Important one-day revision to containment procedures ;)

- mnakayama, Apr 1 20██ 9:41 AM Item #: SCP-001 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001 is to be kept in a standard low-value containment locker at Site-91a. Additional research into SCP-001's effects will be the responsibility of Site-91a Chief Numerologist Dr. Mary Nakayama. All Level 2 researchers in Site-91a shall give Dr. Nakayama $5, if possible, over her lunch break on April 1, 20██. Description: SCP-001 is a vinyl record containing Esquivel's 1958 album Exploring New Sounds in Stereo (RCA). The album has an anomalous impact on digital numerical lists that contain it. The album, when listed in text saved digitally, will always be listed first, even if it was intended to be listed in another position.2 SCP-001 was sent to Billboard magazine as a review copy prior to its release in 1958. Its effects were not noticed until December 20██, when Billboard intern M. S██████, tasked with updating the manual files of review albums in magazine headquarters to a database format noted SCP-001's effects and reported it to superiors.3 Efforts to locate the RCA employee(s) responsible for sending SCP-001 to Billboard are ongoing. Primary Containment Theory currently holds that SCP-001 was a crude attempt to manipulate Billboard's album rankings which failed due to the manual typesetting in use by the magazine at the time.

▷ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Apr_1,_20██_2.ftml ▽ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Apr_1,_20██_2.ftml Foundation Database changelog:

What the fuck what the fuck what. the. fuck.

- mnakayama, Apr 1 20██ 12:54 PM. Item #: SCP-001 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001 is to be kept in a standard low-value containment locker at Site-91a. Additional research into SCP-001's effects will be the responsibility of Site-91a Chief Numerologist Dr. Mary Nakayama. All Level 2 researchers in Site-91a shall give Dr. Nakayama $5, if possible, over her lunch break on April 1, 20██. Description: SCP-001 is a vinyl record containing Esquivel's 1958 album Exploring New Sounds in Stereo (RCA). The album has an anomalous impact on digital numerical lists that contain it. The album, when listed in text saved digitally, will always be listed first, even if it was intended to be listed in another position.2 SCP-001 was sent to Billboard magazine as a review copy prior to its release in 1958. Its effects were not noticed until December 20██, when Billboard intern M. S██████, tasked with updating the manual files of review albums in magazine headquarters to a database format noted SCP-001's effects and reported it to superiors.3 Efforts to locate the RCA employee(s) responsible for sending SCP-001 to Billboard are ongoing. Primary Containment Theory currently holds that SCP-001 was a crude attempt to manipulate Billboard's album rankings which failed due to the manual typesetting in use by the magazine at the time.

▷ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Apr_1,_20██_3.ftml ▽ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Apr_1,_20██_3.ftml Foundation Database changelog:

Testing something.

- mnakayama, Apr 1 20██ 9:09 PM. Item #: SCP-001 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001 is to be kept in a standard low-value containment locker at Site-91a. Additional research into SCP-001's effects will be the responsibility of Site-91a Chief Numerologist Dr. Mary Nakayama. Dr. Nakayama's desk nameplate is colored green for easy identification. Description: SCP-001 is a vinyl record containing Esquivel's 1958 album Exploring New Sounds in Stereo (RCA). The album has an anomalous impact on digital numerical lists that contain it. The album, when listed in text saved digitally, will always be listed first, even if it was intended to be listed in another position.2 SCP-001 was sent to Billboard magazine as a review copy prior to its release in 1958. Its effects were not noticed until December 20██, when Billboard intern M. S██████, tasked with updating the manual files of review albums in magazine headquarters to a database format noted SCP-001's effects and reported it to superiors.3 Efforts to locate the RCA employee(s) responsible for sending SCP-001 to Billboard are ongoing. Primary Containment Theory currently holds that SCP-001 was a crude attempt to manipulate Billboard's album rankings which failed due to the manual typesetting in use by the magazine at the time.

▷ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Apr_2,_20██_1.ftml ▽ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Apr_2,_20██_1.ftml Foundation Database changelog:

Making a note about my availability

- mnakayama, Apr 2 20██ 8:09 AM. Item #: SCP-001 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001 is to be kept in a standard low-value containment locker at Site-91a. Additional research into SCP-001's effects will be the responsibility of Site-91a Chief Numerologist Dr. Mary Nakayama. Dr. Nakayama's desk nameplate is colored green for easy identification. Personnel are advised that Dr. Nakayama will be likely unavailable until Apr 9, 20██, as she has been granted paid vacation days by Site Director Green for this time span. Description: SCP-001 is a vinyl record containing Esquivel's 1958 album Exploring New Sounds in Stereo (RCA). The album has an anomalous impact on digital numerical lists that contain it. The album, when listed in text saved digitally, will always be listed first, even if it was intended to be listed in another position.2 SCP-001 was sent to Billboard magazine as a review copy prior to its release in 1958. Its effects were not noticed until December 20██, when Billboard intern M. S██████, tasked with updating the manual files of review albums in magazine headquarters to a database format noted SCP-001's effects and reported it to superiors.3 Efforts to locate the RCA employee(s) responsible for sending SCP-001 to Billboard are ongoing. Primary Containment Theory currently holds that SCP-001 was a crude attempt to manipulate Billboard's album rankings which failed due to the manual typesetting in use by the magazine at the time.

▷ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Apr_9,_20██_1.ftml ▽ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/Apr_9,_20██_1.ftml Foundation Database changelog:

Noting upcoming title change..

- mnakayama, Apr 9 20██ 10:40 AM. Item #: SCP-001 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001 is to be kept in a standard low-value containment locker at Site-91a. Additional research into SCP-001's effects will be the responsibility of Site-91a Chief Numerologist Dr. Mary Nakayama. Personnel are advised that Dr. Nakayama will be likely unavailable until Apr 9, 20██, as she has been granted paid vacation days by Site Director Green for this time span. Dr. Nakayama, Chief Numerologist at Site-91a until Apr 9, will be promoted to Site Co-Director alongside Dr. Green at noon on Apr 9. She will retain sole responsibility over SCP-001. Description: SCP-001 is a vinyl record containing Esquivel's 1958 album Exploring New Sounds in Stereo (RCA). The album has an anomalous impact on digital numerical lists that contain it. The album, when listed in text saved digitally, will always be listed first, even if it was intended to be listed in another position.2 SCP-001 was sent to Billboard magazine as a review copy prior to its release in 1958. Its effects were not noticed until December 20██, when Billboard intern M. S██████, tasked with updating the manual files of review albums in magazine headquarters to a database format noted SCP-001's effects and reported it to superiors.3 Efforts to locate the RCA employee(s) responsible for sending SCP-001 to Billboard are ongoing. Primary Containment Theory currently holds that SCP-001 was a crude attempt to manipulate Billboard's album rankings which failed due to the manual typesetting in use by the magazine at the time.

▷ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/May_3,_20██_1.ftml ▽ ⦿/Procedures/001/Past/May_3,_20██_1.ftml Foundation Database changelog:

Well. This works like I think it does. I've thought this over for weeks: It's time. I've locked the page down to everyone but myself and O5s. I think I'm doing the right thing. I really do think I am. Pray for me.

- mnakayama, May 3 20██ 4:11 AM. Item #: SCP-001 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001 is to be kept in a standard low-value containment locker at Site-91a. Additional research into SCP-001's effects will be the responsibility of Dr. Mary Nakayama. Dr. Nakayama, Chief Numerologist at Site-91a until Apr 9, will be promoted to Site Co-Director alongside Dr. Green at noon on Apr 9. She will retain sole responsibility over SCP-001. Description: SCP-001 is a vinyl record containing Esquivel's 1958 album Exploring New Sounds in Stereo (RCA). The album has an anomalous impact on digital numerical lists that contain it. The album, when listed in text saved digitally, will always be listed first, even if it was intended to be listed in another position.2 SCP-001 was sent to Billboard magazine as a review copy prior to its release in 1958. Its effects were not noticed until December 20██, when Billboard intern M. S██████, tasked with updating the manual files of review albums in magazine headquarters to a database format noted SCP-001's effects and reported it to superiors.3 Efforts to locate the RCA employee(s) responsible for sending SCP-001 to Billboard are ongoing. Primary Containment Theory currently holds that SCP-001 was a crude attempt to manipulate Billboard's album rankings which failed due to the manual typesetting in use by the magazine at the time. Mary Nakayama, immediately after the saving of this document, will attain omnipotence and omniscience, rising to and becoming Godhead. She will span all time and have complete dominion over this Universe and this Reality. Everything, everything under everything and everything over everything, will be at her command. She will gain all necessary mental faculties to process and utilize these abilities while maintaining uninterrupted consciousness. Members of the O5 council will receive a note indicating the nature of SCP-001. Her family will receive a note indicating her love for them. Mary Nakayama disappeared from her quarters at Site-91a before 6 AM on May 3. She has not been located since.