For those of you who do not know, I served exactly 13 years, 6 months & 19 days on active duty in the US Army. Out of those 13 years, I deployed twice*. I purposely put an asterisk by the word twice because my first “deployment” was back in 2006 where I spent an entire year living in a wonderful desert in the middle of hot ass Kuwait collecting all the combat pay minus all of the bullets, rockets & IEDs. But in 2010, they sent my ass all the way down range to some FOB (forward operating base) in southern Afghanistan where I was greeted with a lifetime supply of rockets, explosions, suicide bombers, seeing what people look like immediately after coming into contact with an IED…just all kinds of shit that most fake ass uber-patriotic Americans will never experience even in their wildest dreams. But anyways…

So in the aftermath of these NFL players kneeling last Sunday, white Americans & a few of their pet minorities looking for Scooby snacks decided to hit the social media streets and repeat the tireless lie of “THESE NFL PLAYERS ARE DISRESPECTING OUR VETS!” Well, since I am a veteran who was honorably discharged from the military and I am now soaking up every damn benefit Uncle Sam says I am entitled to, let me educate you all on a few things in regards to military veterans…

Most Vets Do Not Join Because of Patriotism

I hate to break this to you non-veteran civilian idiots who got all of your knowledge about the US military from watching every Rambo movie that ever came out, but the fact is, out of the roughly 3 million or so (1% of the US population) that actually have the balls to sign up to join the military, the overwhelming vast majority of these servicemen & women didn’t join the service in order to fulfill some civic duty of patriotism. I spent the last 4 years of my military career working as an AIT instructor (the people who teach new Army recruits how to do the job they signed up and/or qualified for) and I came across literally a few thousand or more brand new soldiers on the enlisted side of the house & quite a few brand new commissioned officers and damn near ALL OF THEM did not sign up out of some sense of loyalty to the country. To be honest, in my 13 years, 6 months & 19 days I only came across ONE SOLDIER who actually joined the military because SHE believed in patriotism & defending American’s rights & freedoms…JUST ONE. She actually told me that ever since she was a little girl, her goal in life was to be a soldier in the Army. And she executed her a job extremely well. When she & I first met in Kuwait, she as Staff Sergeant (E6) & I was a newly promoted Sergeant (E5). Fast forward about 5 years later, I run into her in the states at the last post I was assigned to, she’s a First Sergeant (E8) and I’m an E6. Today, I wouldn’t be shocked if she was on the E8 promotable list if she isn’t promoted already. But anyways, she is the ONLY soldier out the countless soldiers I have ever come across who honestly believed in the idea of patriotism. THAT’S IT.

Now for the rest of the soldiers (including myself), here are the top reasons why most joined:

1. The military was the best option they had after high school.

Do you know how many straight-outta-high school vets I’ve dealt with in my 13 years, 6 months & 19 days on active duty? Too damn many of them. Most of these soldiers who came straight out of high school did so because it was quite literally the best option for them at time. Most didn’t have money to go to college, most didn’t have any real skill that could get them a decent job, & most were just average ass students in high school who just breezed by. That’s not to say that they are bad people, this is just the facts of who these soldiers were upon entering the military. Most of them couldn’t give a damn about the idea of patriotism. Truth be told, most of them probably never even heard the word patriotism prior to joining the military.

2. Trying to clear out college debt.

I fall into this category. I joined because after college I had about $65,000 worth of debt and Uncle Sam told me that he would erase my debt upon raising my right hand and shipping my ass off to boot camp. So I took my happy-go-lucky soon to be student loan debt free ass right on boot camp and became the most patriotic soldier in my basic training battalion because I knew Uncle Sam was about to cut this check to make my 22 year old life much easier. People who also fall into this category are commissioned officers, your 2nd Lieutenants (2LT) & above. There are 3 ways to become a commissioned officer in the US Army: graduate from West Point, attend OCS school (for enlisted & warrant officers looking to crossover), or go to college, join ROTC, graduate & become a commissioned officer upon graduation. Those who choose to go to college have 2 options: go as a scholarship student where Uncle Sam is paying your tuition OR you pay your own tuition, you participate in ROTC, become commissioned and Uncle Sam forgives your student debt (I believe that’s what happens with non-scholarship ROTC students…I could be off, but whatever). Those who attend West Point (which is basically a 4 year long boot camp for college students) have no choice but to join the military after college. Those who do ROTC have no choice as well because Uncle Sam paid for their education and in return, Uncle Sam wants that ass to lace up the boots & go to work. That’s just the reality of the situation. Nowhere in this exchange for paying for one’s education or paying off one’s educational debt is there a rule stating a person MUST exude patriotism in order for those college loans to be forgiven. This is/was a fucking contract that people voluntarily entered into of their own free will accord because who the fuck really wants to start their adult life out in 10s of thousands of dollars or more in debt? Get the fuck outta here.

3. McDonald’s isn’t paying enough to help out on the child support.

Do you know how many men & women simply join because they need the money & stability to help them be able to provide a decent life for their children? Some single soldiers are so serious about this that they will temporarily sign away their parental rights in order to attend basic training and advanced individual training (AIT) just so that potential childcare issues doen’t interfere with their chances of becoming a soldier who can now get access to a steady reliable paycheck combined with a world of other benefits that McDonalds & other places aren’t offering.

4. Fucked up teeth & subpar healthcare coverage.

Speaking of other benefits, do you know how many people simply join the military JUST to get access to the military’s healthcare system? Seriously, there were a bunch of soldiers with some fucked up ass teeth prior to joining the military who now have remarkable grills. There were a bunch of soldiers who were putting bandaids on everything from cuts to broken bones to cancer cells who now have access to “great” healthcare. (Great is subjective…but it’s better than none especially when you don’t have to pay out of pocket). These people didn’t join to show YOU how patriotic they are…they joined to fix their fucking teeth & get access to a damn doctor for themselves or their kids without going into bankruptcy.

5. The local recruiter promised them a Camaro.

On every military base you’ll see a gang of Chevy Camaros & Dodge Chargers. Often times we can just look at the car and identify the rank of the person because most of these Camaros & Chargers will be rimmed up & booming, all designed to do one thing & one thing only…attract women. And the sad part about this, right outside of damn near every military post there is a used car lot full of lemons and there is always always ALWAYS at least one retired senior NCO (non-commissioned officer) who works at these places trying to sell these young soldiers these piece of shit cars with a high ass interest rate attached to the car…DESPITE these retired NCOs knowing better.

6. Speaking of women…

In addition to getting a car and possibly some sign-up bonus money, everybody knows that military men (& women now) get all the pussy. At least I did when I first came in. I’m not lying nor am I trying to brag about this, but when I was 22 fresh out of basic training on my way to AIT then on my way to Airborne school to end up at my first duty station, I was in the best shape of my life. I had no wife, no kids, no debt, I could run 2 miles in 14 minutes flat, I could do 20 pull-ups without stopping, I’m light skinned, good hair, 6’1″, I had a steady stream of income with benefits…I was literally swimming in pussy. Seriously, I’m not making this shit up. I had so much pussy from military chicks to civilian chicks to married chicks etc throwing it at me that I honestly had the option to pick and choose whom I felt should be blessed to receive my penis. I’m not even lying about this shit. I had so many pussy options that I truthfully didn’t have to do a damn thing in most instances to attract women except show up and smile. And guess what, it’s the SAME WAY for countless other soldiers out there. Even the women who serve, there are dudes for miles lined up trying to get at these women. It’s real out there in these streets as a young serviceman or woman. Pussy & penises (depending upon your preference) are just tossed at you non-stop in hopes of you catching one so that pussy or penis can latch on to receive some of those coveted benefits you have access to. If any veteran disputes what I’m saying, these muhfuggahs are flat out lying OR they never served. Even the ugliest of dudes and women serving in the military get vaginas and/or penises tossed their way non-stop. And this often times last you throughout the duration of your career for the most part, but as a brand new servicemen, the hotdogs & buns are tossed at you the hardest because these people tossing these loose genitals know that you don’t know any better and they are hoping to get pregnant (or get you pregnant) so that they can get access to those dental, medical, & educational benefits etc. The game is real ladies and gentlemen. So if you honestly think most young soldiers join because of some sense of patriotism to the flag and this country, you are out of your fucking mind. Way too many join for the patriotism of racking up some new ass. 🇺🇸

Every now and then one will join because they believe in patriotism, but they are the unicorns.