Some New Hampshire 4th grade students got a dose of political reality Thursday when they visited the State House. After receiving a round of applause from their elected representatives, the scene quickly became more tense.

In order to learn the political process better, the students had drafted a bill. Their proposal, House Bill 373, established the Red Tail Hawk as the New Hampshire State Raptor. The bill passed through the Environment and Agriculture committee with a majority vote.

However, when the bill came to the floor for debate, emotions inexplicably began to run high. Representative Warren Groen (R-Rochester), used his time to proclaim that, “It grasps them with its talons then uses its razor-sharp beak to basically tear it apart limb by limb, and I guess the shame about making this a state bird is it would serve as a much better mascot for Planned Parenthood.”

Groen was followed by Representative John Burt (R-Goffstown), who said, “Bottom line, if we keep bringing more of these bills, and bills, and bills forward that really I think we shouldn’t have in front of us, we’ll be picking a state hot dog next.”

The bill was down-voted by a tally of 160-to-133.

Has the New Hampshire legislature inadvertently created dozens of future libertarians? These youngsters have received a rare firsthand look at just how dysfunctional and ridiculous politicians and politicians can become. It is for this reason that governments perform their duties so inefficiently; rather than doing what’s best for the citizenry or working hard on the jobs they’ve been assigned to do, most elected officials would rather pontificate and make spectacles of themselves in order to make names for themselves.

Of course, this particular bill is not of much importance, but it is emblematic of a larger culture that seems to be pervasive and ever-growing in American politics. Elections promote selfishness under the guise of public service. Even those with the best of intentions find themselves swimming in that same cesspool if they wish to survive. Making changes becomes less important the longer that one serves in his or her current role. After all, why tweak a procedure that benefits you and all your colleagues? While government grows and no one is held accountable, incumbents are re-elected over and over again, promoting themselves at every turn.

Needless to say, governments do not respond to the same market indicators that private agents do. In the free market, efficiency is placed at a premium, and results are demanded if a business model wishes to survive. Alternatively, through bureaucracy, the “buck” is passed along and fingers are pointed as things only become worse and nothing changes. Even those ideas which are nearly unanimous among the population are no guarantee to receive the attention of the legislature. Why put in the work and risk political backlash when instead one can grandstand and recite platitudes? If they’re not seeking re-election to their current offices, it seems constant that politicians are trying to find ways up the ladder (for example, ways in which to advance from House Majority Whip to Vice President).

There is likely no erasing the peculiar set of images from the minds of these young Americans who saw their innocent project go up in flames for no apparent reason. However, perhaps this was a more valuable teaching lesson than they or their teacher ever could have imagined. These students were able to move past the flowery and false pretenses that normally accompany politics and come to realize that government is so ineffective because it is filled with narcissists, buffoons and phonies who have no legitimate agenda other than to further their own self-interests. Perhaps it would be appropriate for New Hampshire to anoint “The Yellow-Bellied Politician” as its State Raptor.

