I have been playing the game off and on for 30 years.

In the beginning, I would say I played a lot of chaotic selfish Heroes. I even had the notoriety as someone you need to “watch your back.” Some of the Heroes I played, this was true. But I didn’t like the reputation, and so I tried to play better characters.

I think there is an evolution of roleplaying. In the beginning, players start off playing selfish thugs. Hopefully, they evolve out of this style. It isn’t guaranteed it will happen. Being aware and pushing oneself to play at a higher level helps.

Here is a bit of my own history of roleplaying.

About 25 years ago, I was at a new friend’s house. He offered to run me and some friends on an adventure. It seemed a one-shot, so when I rolled terrible stats, I just decided to go with it. My Mage was so awful, his best stat was 16, a lot of 11s, and even a 6. Up until this point, “magically” every Hero I played had one or two 18s. Yes, I was that guy.

I named the Hero, Kow, and played as a hireling of the party. I felt my guy was so bad, I couldn’t take top billing. The campaign continued for years! Kow went on to become one of the most fun Heroes I have ever played.

What I discovered from playing Kow, was that playing Heroes with flaws and weakness was more interesting than playing the perfect killing machine.

So with a few exceptions, I started to play Heroes with a few bad stats. Not “dump stats,” to min/max. I would just assign 1 or 2 terrible stats. I once made a Fighter with 6 Strength and 8 Consitution. He didn’t die, but the story ended too soon to see how he would play.

Nowadays, having amazing stats don’t interest me. Sometimes when the party is a whole bunch of 18 strength Heroes, I feel I need to have an 18 strength too. But I rather the entire party be modest stats.

Playing these Heroes with flaws lead me to the next discovery of roleplaying.

For the longest time, I would play just about ever Hero the same. Sure they would have an outer level that was different to them. If playing an Elf, I would put on that elf costume. Playing a Warlock, then a Warlock costume. But all of these characters deep inside were the equivalent.

They were all tactics smart and on the lookout for items. Always looking to get power, avoid unconsciousness, and not to do stupid stuff. Be clever and intelligent. If the Hero had a 6 Int, then add a silly voice and do “stupid” things when it didn’t matter. Play him dumb in a smart way.

I remember the point where I first broke this pattern.

I was playing a “Cowboy” fighter who came to convince the party to help his village. Everyone had levels and items on him, so he was underpowered. At an old battlesight, I discovered an ancient arrow sticking to a wall. As an experienced player, I immediately knew this was a magic item. And since it had been on the wall for 2,000 years, surely a powerful one too. So what did I do?

As a Cowboy, I picked the arrow off of the wall checked to see if it was gold. When it wasn’t, I threw it away! The GM was so shocked, he laughed. Later, other party members scrambled to pocket the arrow. But for me, it was just an old valueless arrow.

These days, playing Heroes who make mistakes is amusing. No longer do I like to think through Heroes turns (unless playing a tactician). There are many times the GM says to me, “Oh that won’t work.” And instead of saying, “Oh then I do this instead.” I just say, “Oh well, I did it anyway.” Therefore wasting the turn.

Having my Hero waste turns, do poor plans, pass over treasure, or any other error makes me feel good. I am not saying every Hero I play does this or does this 100% of the time. I mean when it feels right in the moment and true to their personality, I make a knowing blunder. I am trying to remove that inner need to always make the intelligent play and letting the Hero’s goals and personally guide me.

I realize I still have more work to do.

For example, I do not like it when my Hero goes unconscious. When unconscious, I am at the whims of the other party members to when I can rejoin the game. The other players might choose to play on for a short-time or long-time before taking a break. During that time, I am a spectator.

Because of this aversion to being on the sidelines, I tend to play mages and clerics. Any Hero that isn’t on the frontlines. I am trying to change that.

I think my next Hero will be a guy who charges into every battle. He will be reckless and protective other others. He will leap in the way of attacks to save allies. Perhaps play him a bit on the suicide side and see where that takes me.

In the meantime, I have been pushing myself to explore characters I would have never considered in my youth. These would have taken me out of my comfort zone.

Here are a few of recent Heroes:

My current Hero is a cross-dressing Mage. He only feels powerful when dressing as a woman. He is careful as to who he shares this information. When dressed as a man I played him miserable and pessimistic. When in a dress, happy and optimistic. I based him on Ed Woods, the famous B-movie director who made his films cross-dressing.

I played a Cleric who was actually a serial killer. In the past, I have played evil characters but don’t think I have played one like this. I played him as kind and loyal as possible. He helped his community, was generous to his people, and to most of the people he met. He created a split in religion to justify his insanity and gave his god human sacrifices even when this was not the way to worship him. In reality, he hated his god and was seeking to supplant him. It didn’t matter to me that his goals were impossible. He both worshiped his god, built his church, and undermined him at the same time.

One of the most enjoyable Heroes I recently played was a closeted gay Barbarian. In total deny of his sexual identity. To the party, his homosexuality was apparent. In this way, he was a lot like Tobias Fünke. Most people saw it, but he didn’t. And being a barbarian, it was dangerous to mention it to him.

I understand if these odd Heroes would not interest most people. The idea is to explore areas that take me out of my comfort zone. In identifying with these Heroes, it has helped me to understand others. Playing an RPG is a way to walk in another man’s shoes.

Roleplaying games offer more to the players than just entertainment. I really believe it can help us all become better people. I know for me it has made me a more empathic person. I hope you find yourself exploring and pushing yourself to try Heroes with new core beliefs and challenge your basic tendencies and patterns.