ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Summer school is coming to an end at South Betoota Polytechnic College which means exams have already started.

For the four score and three students who made the decision to fuck their last term of study up by having too many bamboo schooners when they should’ve either been in class or doing homework, the summer school term offers and opportunity to write past academic wrongs.

One of those summer school fuck ups took the time out of their hectic exam schedule to speak candidly to The Advocate about one of the more colour aspects of exam week.

Dennis Coleman, who told our reporter that he got really into his bongs last year which ultimately destroyed his life in many ways, said he enjoys all the old ducks and needlessly cranky elderly men who take their exam supervisor roles a bit too seriously.

“They all look at you like your prisoners of war or something,” he said.

“Then some funny bastard makes a fart noise or yells out ‘penis’ at the top of their lungs, just to mess with them,”

“On top of all that, they have the gall to say they’ve got better things to do than supervise a bunch of 20-something fuck ups redo a COM119 exam they should’ve aced last October,”

“Fuck off they’ve got better things to do. I didn’t come down in the last shower.”

Our reporter reached out to a number of exam supervisors for comment but all were too busy to respond.

More to come.