など

ウィザード,

would more succinct, but it's not as fancy as kanji.





内弟子, would *probably* fit the master+apprentice relationship jedi have with their padawans, considering how they pretty much lived together. At this point in their lives though, deshi fits both in their current relationship and as a general read.

デーモン, although you might have people argue that it says daemon, which gets into splitting hair territory.

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I don't want to go into handwriting either since mine is terrible in its own ways, (that is something to work on as well) but you should keep your strokes as close together as possible. It's still legible though.



Here's an example of ma,





in a bigger "font" from Dragonball: vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/d… The bottom stroke shouldn't have quite a bend to it as you have up there. There is also the dangling stroke on the left.

What you have written for tenshi,

魔法使い mahoutsukai魔術士 majutsushi魔道士 madoushi魔術師 majutsushietc.They all get a little confusing, and part of that is there being a cultural difference with translations. The katakana for wizard,Contextually, I find your choice of deshi, 弟子, fits nicely. If you really want to sink in the relationship, then uchideshi,For the demon/fallen angel part, both of those words already connote differences in English. You have datenshi, 堕天使, which perfectly fits for fallen angel. Just like the (English name for the) Street Fighter character, one of the many Japanese words for demon being akuma, 悪魔, fits just fine. Again, contextually, datenshi would be the better choice to follow the symbolism of the character itself. Otherwise, you can always use demon,魔,Your 士 should have a significantly shorter bottom, and since it's your last stroke, there should most likely not be a dangling bit from your vertical stroke.天使, seems more like you should loosen your hand a little and give more of a "flick." It just seems very rigid.*stares at own writing* and this is why I never talk about handwriting. =.=;;--------Anyway, onto the work!I love the imagery! The red setting suns are a nice touch to the background. I think the best part is how you used the color of the sageo (cord on the saya/sheath) to distinguish their colors. It would have been nice to see Darth Vader's tied, but considering the stylistic choice of keeping it short, it works. This is a beautiful piece of work.