The Jets’ hiring of Adam Gase gave us the first of many Gase-themed puns which will appear on the back of New York City’s warring tabloids, the New York Daily News and the New York Post on Thursday morning.

The News went with: GASE CLOSED, while the Post veered in the opposite direction with ADAM’S APPLE (Newsday lagged waaaaay behind in third with ‘Gase New Jets Pilot,’ which feels like a major disappointment.) Either way, it got us thinking about one of the most underrated parts of a fresh coaching tenure. Newspaper headline writers have spent years wringing all the juice out of their old puns (TOILET BOWLES, anyone?) but breathe new life as the endless potential for new jokes surfaces again.

We here at the MMQB (mostly colleague Jenny Vrentas and I, since almost none of you decided to help on Twitter) are here to assist them, and really any of us who enjoy a good old-fashioned headline joke. Also, damn you, Rich Eisen show, for taking all of the good Jets ones already. Without further ado, here are the best we could think of so far for every new head coach.

ADAM GASE

*Takes long, deep breath….*

COLD GASE

UPPER GASE

LOWER GASE

BRIEF GASE

GASE IN POINT

BLOW A GASE-KET

ADAM SHAME

WORST-GASE SCENARIO

ACE OF GASE (H/T Daniel Jeremiah)

CURIOUS GASE

I DON’T GIVE ADAM

GASE-OFF

EMPTY GASE

GASE INVADERS

BASKET GASE

BLANK GASE

GASE THE JOINT

NUT GASE

ADAM BOMB

SAVING GASE

This guy was made for New York.

VIC FANGIO

ONE VIC PONY

VIC-TORY (VIC-TORIOUS)

A VIC UP HIS SLEEVE

VIC OR TREAT

CON-VIC-TION

BIG VIC ENERGY (h/t to MMQB editor Mitch Goldich)

DUELING FANGIO (h/t to MMQB executive editor Mark Mravic)

NOT A FAN-GIO (h/t to MMQB executive editor Mark Mravic)

INVICTUS

KLIFF KINGSBURY

KLIFF BARRED

FIT FOR A KINGSBURY

KLIFF HANGERS

KLIFF DIVING

KLIFF JUMPING

BRUCE ARIANS:

BRUCE ALMIGHTY

BRUCE IS COOKED

BRUCE YOURSELF

BRUCE IT UP

FAST AND BRUCE

BRUCE CANNON

BRUCE’S LIPS SINK SHIPS

BRUCE CHANGE

CRUNK BRUCE

FREDDIE KITCHENS:

FREAKY FREDDIE

FREDDIE LOSER

HOLD FREDDIE

FREDDIE AS WE GO

KITCHENS FIRE

HELLS KITCHENS

FREDDIE OR NOT

FREDDIE TO GO

FREDDIE AND WILLING

FREDDIE TO RUMBLE

KITCHENS ISLAND

KITCHENS AID

KITCHENS CLOSED

THE KITCHENS SINK

REMODELED KITCHENS

TEST KITCHENS

RIGHT SAID FRED

MATT LAFLEUR:

FAST AND FLEURIOUS

FLEUR MAJESTY

FLEUR ALL

FLEUR SURE

MIRACLE FLEUR

DON’T FLEURRY, BABY

WELCOME MATT

DOOR MATT

PLACE MATT

GRAND FLEURRY

IN A FLEURRY

FLEURRY DUTY

TRIAL BY FLEURRY

FLEURRY UP OFFENSE

FISTS OF FLEURRY

A FLEUR THING

FLEUR FIRE

Thanks for reading. I’m so, so sorry.

Not getting this newsletter in your inbox yet? Sign up for The MMQB’s Morning Huddle.

HOT READS

NOW ON THE MMQB: Sam Shields’s two-year journey through a concussion. … Finding Jeff Fisher (on an ATV, no less). … The financial quirks NFL playoffs bring to players’ game checks. ... The Cardinals think they’ve found their Sean McVay in Kliff Kingsbury.

WHAT YOU MAY HAVE MISSED: Months of reporting went into this piece on teams’ community initiatives. What are players doing to combat social injustice, you ask? ... How Sean Payton survived Bountygate without the Saints, and how the Saints survived without Sean Payton. … Can Dallas score a road win on the back of Ezekiel Elliott?

PRESS COVERAGE

1. A surprising favorite emerges for the Bengals’ head coaching job.

2. Will Von Miller be even better under Vic Fangio?

3. A stunning admission from Steelers president Art Rooney II: It’s ‘hard to envision’ Antonio Brown at camp in 2019.

4. Breaking down Demarcus Lawrence, as he prepares to clean up via free agency.

5. The case for (and against) Gase, via the New York Post.

6. In non-NFL news, “Poison toilet paper reveals how termites help rainforests resist drought.”

THE KICKER

The story behind Rolling Stone’s iconic 1992 Nirvana cover.

Question or comment? Email us at talkback@themmqb.com.