(Permanent Musical Accompaniment To The Last Post Of The Week By The Blog's Favourite Living Canadian)

CLEVELAND—If it's not one damn thing, it's another. From The Guardian:

A soldier in Istanbul has been filmed saying "it's a coup, go home."

Well, OK, then.

It seems from what smart people are saying that a military coup is regularly what Turkey has in place of elections, and that the army has been traditionally been the safeguard of secular democracy in one of the few places in the region where it still thrives. It also seems that President Recep Erdogan has become more than a little autocratic and that his committment to keep Turkey clear of the region's religious fanaticism has been less than ironclad. What I do know is that this is one country that nobody wants to see destabilized, and that it's a good thing that we have a cool cat in the White House, and not somebody who keeps changing his mind over and over again because he likes to be the goddamn center of attention.

Meanwhile, as we sit by the big lake, waiting for the triumphal exercise in universal bad taste that will unfold next week, it's nice to know that, back in Washington, the Congress of the United States, and the Republican majority thereof, are not exerting themselves too much in the midsummer heat. They have adjourned without doing anything about the looming threat of the Zika virus, and also they have politely, and with impeccable parliamentary procedure, told the people of Flint, Michigan to pound sand. As Arianna's piecework factory tells us:

Several senators urged Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) in the weeks leading up to the break, which starts on Friday, to bring up a broader piece of legislation that contains a $220 million aid package for communities grappling with crumbling water infrastructure like Flint. "Here I was, wishful thinking for a long time," Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Okla.) told The Huffington Post on Thursday. "I'm not criticizing Mitch, because he said if we can find a place ... we can do it, but it just didn't happen." In recent weeks, the Senate has been busy with legislation relating to the Zika virus threat and the opioid epidemic, and the debate over gun violence. Late last month, Inhofe and 29 other Republicans sent a letter to McConnell pressing him to bring the Water Resources Development bill that includes the Flint money up for a vote before the summer recess. But McConnell never did.

We can only hope that history is incredibly unkind to these people one day. Not that it will help the children who are born with severe developmental problems, or the ones who develop them by drinking lead-thick water, but I suspect the phrase "pro-life politicians" in this context will baffle future historians.

The GOP vice presidential candidate designate has had an odd, but pronounced, affection for declaring victory in Iraq, including one memorable occasion archived by ThinkProgress.

And so it went, up and down the street, in between tents and tables, squeezing past pedestrians to inspect the offerings in one booth after another, we milled around this marketplace in downtown Baghdad for more than an hour. I told reporters afterward that it was just like any open-air market in Indiana in the summertime. I didn't mean that Baghdad was as safe as the Bargersville Flea Market; I just meant that that was what it looked and felt like…lots of people, lots of booths and a friendly relaxed atmosphere.

Not long after Pence stopped by, a man went to the market and killed 84 people. The chandelier has brighter bulbs, I'm just sayin'.

Speaking of the latter, oh, brother Cornel...

You gave me the best afternoon of the campaign when you showed up in Ames, Iowa, and took one of the most distinctly melanin-deprived audiences in the history of American politics off to glory. But please, brother Cornel, come back to the light. Per CNN:

"This November, we need change. Yet we are tied in a choice between Trump, who would be a neo-fascist catastrophe, and Clinton, a neo-liberal disaster. That's why I am supporting Jill Stein. I am with her—the only progressive woman in the race—because we've got to get beyond this lock-jaw situation."

Even accepting brother Cornel's paradigm—which I don't, but anyway—there's simply no comparison between a neo-liberal (like, say, the late Paul Tsongas) and a neo-fascist (like, say, Marine LePen.) For one thing, we've managed to survive the former. And then there's this, from Dr. Jill Stein:

"I am incredibly honored to have the support of the legendary Dr. Cornel West, a great American intellectual activist who has tirelessly carried the torch passed by love warriors like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Dr. West's truth-telling voice is especially needed now, with Americans across the country rising up against a morally bankrupt political system."

Please. The Green Party has as much to do with the Civil Rights movement as it does with the Congress of Vienna. I've never been as down on brother Cornel as a lot of people are. I've always been able to see his underlying joy in language. But, damn, this is a bad move even by my standards.

Weekly WWOZ Pick To Click: "Open Marriage" (The Luxurious Faux Furs): Yeah, I pretty much still love New Orleans.

Weekly Visit To The Pathe Archives: Here's The Republic doing the Brexit thing to the British Empire in 1949. The volley fired in front of the GPO is an especially lovely touch.

I missed this when the Republican Party released its platform, but the GOP essentially is calling for the elimination of America's national parks. The Seattle Post-Intelligencer brings us the details on this post-intelligent policy proposal.

The drafters of the national 2016 Republican platform marked the anniversary by calling for a mass sell-off of federal lands in the West, and stepped-up logging in national forests. The platform is a kind of Theodore Roosevelt-in-reverse document, which renounces even policies of Ronald Reagan. Using the 1908 Antiquities Act, Roosevelt created national monuments in spots like the Grand Canyon and the Olympics where state and territorial governments were beholden to mining companies and timber barons. The 2016 GOP platform would require that national monuments be approved by both Congress and state legislatures.

Knuckling the legacies of both TR and Saint Ronnie? That doesn't sound too conservative to me.

Republicans have helped give us treasured places: Ronald Reagan signed the Washington and Oregon Wilderness bills, and legislation creating the Columbia Gorge National Scenic Area. But very different Republicans are now in charge. Dan Evans used money from the federal Land and Water Conservation Fund to preserve parks and recreation lands across Washington. He is cofounder, with ex-Democratic Gov. Mike Lowry, of the Washington Wildlife and Recreation Coalition. Back in Washington, D.C., Wednesday, the GOP-run House took up a bill that slashes the LWCF by 30 percent. Don't do this, "This really matters," said Rep. Derek Kilmer, D-Wash., opposing the cuts.

This should be a matter of great public debate. Most Americans don't own timber companies, but most of them love their national parks and, frankly, most Americans realize that an open-pit mine and/or a cleared mountain hillside aren't going to bring in those tourist dollars. Nobody's going to pack up the family in the minivan and drive 11 hours to look at an oil field. Well, Jim Inhofe, maybe.

I am a subscriber to Jonah Goldberg's weekly G-File newsletter, which usually sends me into the weekend chuckling over the vanity of man. This week's installment, however, brings JG back to his roots as a public figure—namely, the Great Penis Hunt of the 1990s, when his momma was arranging things for the rest of the elves. However, the years have passed, and young Jonah has lost a bit of his edge. He's now just as bad at dick jokes as he is at political theory.

I don't mean to be unduly harsh—just duly harsh—but Hillary makes any limerick-quality double entendres unworkable. That's particularly unfortunate because Rodham, her maiden name, is particularly well-suited for such associations.

Amirite, guys? AMIRITE? Gubba-gubba.

I hate to ask, Fox News, but is it a good day for dinosaur news? It's always a good day for dinosaur news!

In 2007, after the bones were unearthed, a road accident involving one of the vehicles transporting them temporarily halted the investigation and the bones were lost until 2012 when they were discovered to be in the hands of personnel with the Rio Negro Patagonian Natural Sciences Museum, where they still remain, and were turned back over to the original team. Due to the many difficulties, the paleontological team named the new dinosaur "Gualicho," which in the language of Argentina's original Tehuelche culture refers to "bad luck."

Well, that's certainly strange. Did the bones get up and walk away from the accident? Did a lot of local house pets mysteriously go missing? Ghost dinosaurs on a rampage! I'd be scared, if I didn't know that dinosaurs lived then to make us happy now.

Top Commenter Of The Week: John Kierig, for summoning up the memory of one of my earliest bloggy heroes:

Somewhere in the great beyond, Doghouse Riley is laughing his ass off.

Evan Bayh back in politics, trying to decide now whether to run for governor or senator? Mitch Daniels considering a comeback? Mike Pence for VP? To hell with laughing his ass off, the late, great brother J.B.S. Riley is up there orchestrating these events. And then laughing his ass off.

Obviously, there will be some blogging over the weekend as Cleveland's strange run of luck this spring finally runs out and the RNC sets up shop. Be well and play nice ya bastids. Stay above the snake-line, or I'm going to hurl myself in front of Chris Christie and hope for the best.

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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