1,188 Calorie Day of Cheesy Eggs, Salad, Sushi, and Wine

AKA “The Usual”

So as mentioned in my Introduction post, I try to stay around 1,200 calories per day, and I am a Vegetarian Volume Eater (trademark pending) and also a person who drinks a lot of wine.

Wine is very important to me. Wine and dogs. And sometimes the cat. But mostly wine and dogs.

(Ugly) Breakfast: Cheesy Eggs on Toast 322 Calories

2 slices Pepperidge Farm Light Style Wheat Bread (87cals)

2 large eggs (140cals)

1 slice Kraft Big Slice Swiss (90cals)

1 tbsp Heinz Reduced Sugar Ketchup (5cals)

Massive sprinkle FlavorGod Garlic Lovers (0 cals)

I switched to cold brew tea instead of coffee for mornings, because I am lazy and making coffee is apparently too much of an emotional burden for me right now. Because, and I can’t stress this enough, I am the worst person ever. But I think it’s actually helping my teeth. Or, at least the lack of black coffee in my mouth has allowed my whitening toothpaste/mouthwash routine to actually do what it’s supposed to do without the beverage equivalent of Sauron blackening my mouth.

I also had a tiny bit too much to drink last night at a family BBQ last night (shocking, I know), so cheesy egg breakfast was required. What is even in a Moscow Mule? Seems like something I should know…

Lunch: Balsamic Beet Salad with Edamame 294 Calories

93g baby spinach (22cals)

0.5cups Pictsweet Steamed Edamame (110cals)

58g Sunset Mini Sweet Peppers (20cals)

108g roasted beets (62cals)

45g Bolthouse Farms Creamy Balsamic (60cals)

2 tbsp Balsamic Vinegar (20cals)

I ate this in a conference room and waited until my project partner headed to the bathroom to eat it, so that I could take pictures. Because I am a massive douchecanoe and may have taken these exact pictures from like 10 different angles. Perhaps while standing on a chair in the conference room going “Yaassssss SLAYYyyYyyYy”. No, you’re weird. Shut up.

Dinner: Veggie Soosh 231 Calories

So I learned to make sushi recently. Like, two days ago recently. Earlier today, I realized that I have literally no idea how long nori (the seaweed blunt wrap stuff) lasts in your cabinet, so I decided to make some soosh again tonight. Is it sushi if everything involved is a vegetable? Is seaweed a vegetable? These are all very important questions.

To get started, assemble ingredients. Yes I am weighing my wine. I use cauliflower (instead of rice), of which I steam an entire head at the beginning of the week so that I have it to toss into salads or mash like potatoes or I guess make into sushi rice going forward. I’ve also got sweet mini peppers, onion, Edamame (which I swapped out for asparagus, because I changed my mind because you don’t own me), and beets. The beet I roasted on Sunday, a massive one, and for this recipe I cut off a slab, julienned it, and marinated in a vinaigrette that later became my dipping sauce.

158g cauliflower (36cals)

1 tsp cilantro (0cals)

52g asparagus (11cals)

1.5 tbsp onion (6cals)

77g Sunset Mini Sweet Peppers (27cals)

2 sheets nori (20cals)

2 tbsp rice vinegar (20cals)

2 tsp Fish Sauce (4cals)

1 tsp Sriracha (4cals)

1 tbsp light mayo (35cals)

Massive sprinkles powdered ginger (0cals)

So the steamed cauliflower I chopped up into rice-sized pieces, and then added a little bit of rice vinegar, a massive sprinkle of powdered ginger, and a teaspoon of cilantro. I bought one of those $6 squeezy tubes of “Fresh Cilantro!” from the store a few weeks ago, because I wanted to make salsa and they were out of actual cilantro and I was like “yeah, no, I totally eat enough cilantro to justify this half cup squeezy tube of pure cilantro herb I super love salsa and need cilantro ALWAYS.” Anyway, turns out I was wrong, so I have until June 4th to eat a half cup of cilantro. But it was amazing stirred into the ginger cauliflower rice, so that’s something. Like actually, stupid good.

The beets are marinated in the rice vinegar, ginger powder, fish sauce, and Sriracha. The longer marinated the better (this might be a lie, I’ve only done like 20 minutes max), the beet pink vinegar sauce that’s left over gets a tablespoon of light mayo mixed in and becomes the dipping sauce.

I don’t own a sushi mat, or whatever those things are called, so I use a sushi rolling technique that I picked up from being a massive pothead in college. Ayyyyyy. It works.

One of my end pieces fell apart. The leftover beet marinade got a tbsp of light mayo to become a sweet, spicy, vinegar ginger aoli for the soosh. It was fucking amazing.

It took 8 oz of Pinot Grigio to make the sushi, and 7 oz to eat the sushi, so that equals to 341 calories.

Which brings us to 1,188 total! Food and Wine, and a great day all around.

I also helped my buddy apply for an apartment close to my house, I beat the woman next to me in a race she didn’t know we were having on the treadmills at the gym, I bought the dog a new bandana that has shooting stars on it, and there are ducks nesting in the tiny park behind my apartment building. Hash Tag Blessed.