celtyradfem:

its-a-bi-guy:

wereoctopus: theunitofcaring: celtyradfem: Cut the bullshit. He didn’t have to jump from a balcony he could have defended himself. You are really reaching here. Like I said earlier don’t compare actual abuse victims to an idiot who jumped off a balcony when he was under threat. Also you give yourself away when you tagged your post ‘misandry‘ (not a real word). Fuck off I don’t have time for men’s rights types.

She trapped him inside a room on the third floor of a building. Locking someone in a third floor apartment with no means of escape is abuse. It is abuse that can easily be fatal if there is, for example, a fire, or if the person suffers a medical crisis while trapped there. It is absolutely a life-threatening situation justifying extreme measures to reach safety. “He could have defended himself?” It’s not on abuse victims to defend themselves. The whole thing where we expect abuse victims, acting under extreme fear and pressure in a terrifying situation, to behave in exactly the way we (sitting calmly at our computer chairs) think we would have behaved is part of the culture that makes it terrifying to admit to being abused, the culture that silences and belittles abuse victims.

I want all abuse survivors, regardless of whether you think they had better options or should have fought back or didn’t actually have to leave, to feel safe sharing their stories without being laughed at. I think when the crowd roared with laughter at this man’s description of being abused, it made the world less safe for abuse victims. I think that when you blame someone who landed in the hospital for not defending himself, that makes the world less safe for abuse victims too. “Soft” tactics like stealing/hiding someone’s glasses, keys, etc so they can’t leave the house, is abuse. Literally locking someone in an apartment with no safe way to escape is so obviously abuse it’s bizarre anyone would claim otherwise. jfc ‘Misandry’ mentioned aside (because ugh, fuck that concept).. He could have fought back? See, the thing with abusers is they are often incredibly good at manipulating people. It’s one reason why so many people don’t believe that someone they know could possibly be an abuser. It’s one reason why abuse isn’t taken seriously. Who do you think would have come off looking better if he’d physically defended himself and someone called the police? Because my money is on the abuser being damn good at looking like the victim, or making it seem like it’s nothing to worry about. It doesn’t matter the gender of the people involved - extreme power dynamics and abuse fuck up the normal way we look at situations. It makes abuse victims feel like they deserve it (did you notice how he said he occasionally hits walls? $10 says she holds that over him every time she does something to him. He seems to be trying to reduce the severity of what she did to him because he provoked it. Sound familiar to anyone?). Abusive relationships happen regardless of the gender of the people involved (same sex couples aren’t immune from this either). And abusive partners can be any gender. Ignoring this harms anyone who is a victim that doesn’t fit the narrative. Support victims of abuse, of any gender.

“Notice how he hits walls I’ll bet you $10 she hold that over him” holding him accountable for behaving like that and destroying property is not abuse. It is so obvious you guys are the abusers lobby.



We live in a male dominated society and male violence is at epidemic rates. Men are the ones beating women and killing them. This is well documented and domestic violence is apart women’s oppression. You are ignoring that men have the power not women. There is a reason why there are women’s shelter that are full of battered women and their traumatised children.

Don’t pretend domestic violence isn’t gendered because it is. The sex of the offender is almost always male and the abused is usually female. Even when the victim is male the abuser is almost always male. To deny this is not only misogynist but dangerous. How are we supposed to implement policy against male violence if we don’t admit who the perpetrators are?



Men are on average far more able to defend themselves from women. He could have blocked her or left fare more easily than abused women are able to. I find it riducluous men are pretending that women are a threat to them and downplay male violence. Besides this guy was a wall puncher he is the abuser, go away.

