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Tim said all this gave him "a subconscious mindset," cuing him in to what may or may not have been on the table for later on. Tim doesn't, however, say any of that gave him permission to plow forward after making the first move. At no point did he tell investigators, "She was asking for it." But if he'd wanted to tell that lie, he could have, and a lawyer representing him might have, which is one reason taking this to a courtroom wouldn't have been pleasant for all parties.

Now, when you read that first paragraph, do any of you find yourselves getting angry at Vicky? Do you feel like she had "led him on"? We're betting lots of you do, judging by the hate mail and comments that pour in literally every time a woman accuses a man of date rape. That impulse is why sexual assault victims are so afraid to speak out -- if the perpetrator has a reasonable-sounding excuse, then the rage gets focused on the victim. "How dare you put him through this?!?!"

telegraph.co.uk

And it's not just men doing the victim-blaming.

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And you know what? That's fucking insane. Even if what he did was purely a case of misreading the signals, a victim can still be traumatized by it. If you're a guy and find yourself sneering at this, picture yourself in the same situation -- not as a woman, but as yourself. Say you're hanging out with a friend who happens to be a much bigger, stronger guy. You're having a good time, you fall asleep in the same room with him, only to wake up with his hand down your pants. Maybe he's doing more than that, if it helps you get the picture. Even if he just badly misread the signals, does it make you feel less violated?

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When we first talked to him, Tim actually suggested we leave some details out of the article, such as the sex shop bit, saying, "I don't ever want someone to say [Vicky] was OK with what happened or that she was asking for anything." He knew your mind might go there, and we're telling you, the guy who actually assaulted her disagrees with you.