





The original list is found here.

Call me a retro AI programmer, but I like my women as I like my logic: fuzzy. Can I get a peek of your implementation? Dear God, I haven’t seen a stack like that in ages. It’s enough to make me overflow. If things get a little hot and heavy later, I’ll make sure to call ‘join()’ so that we finish together. You look a little compressed in those pants. Let me make you more comfortable by running ‘gunzip’ on them. My, my, my…your mother allocated quite a buffer on you. Mind if I address it with my pointer? When using my web services or spending some time in my bedroom, it’s recommended in both cases that you get plenty of REST. Now that we’ve gotten to know each other, it’s about time for production…and I’ve got my branch all ready for deployment. I just ran a ‘netstat -a’ on your luscious body, and fortunately for us, it reported back that all ports are open. Girl, let’s ditch this party and head back to your place for a code review on memory usage. I’m sure that we’ll find a few leaks which you’ll want me to address. How about we start a process together and get right to forking?

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.