OKLAHOMA CITY–in a feel-good moment gone wrong, local officials here today badly botched the state’s traditional Thanksgiving execution of a condemned turkey, leading to a grim scene of “flapping and squawking” at the State Kitchen today.

“Stuff happens,” said Gov. Mary Fallin (R), “We shouldn’t let one little setback disrupt our quest to find new and innovative ways of killing things.”

According to the state chef’s official inquiry, the condemned turkey seemed to be conscious for a “considerable period of time” after it was supposed to be sedated. The state’s “lethal cocktail” for turkeys consists of cutting each bird’s head off and refrigerating it for up to a week; the report said it was unclear why this “normally reliable” method had failed in this instance.

The turkey’s identity was not released. In a bid to stave off criticism, however, Gov. Fallin noted that it had been convicted of a 1987 convenience-store robbery on the basis of “highly reliable” eyewitness testimony.



Shocking photo taken minutes after the botched attempt