Favorite Answer

First you must gather supplies, because growing a condom is insanely difficult, and one of the steps you must take to become a man. A bucket, some cash (preferably Norwegian) a hockey stick, some glue, and if you have some comics they might help. First you strip of all your clothes, and i mean all of them. Then hitchhike to your nearest coastal city. Here you must search for the nearest McDonald's, if the city has none, you obviously did something wrong and must start over. Behind the counter there will be one black dude, only one. If this is not the case, you again failed. Whisper to him "I'm sorry, i don't own a hotel in Budapest." He will understand, and take you to a secret indoctrination hall. You will be rewarded with a bathtub. With the help of your hockey stick, you must get to Oslo. When in Oslo, go to the nearest supermarket, and buy exactly one bucket load of pickled herring. Go to the nearest public place with a church, and stand there screaming random gibberish, they are Norwegian, so they will understand you. Pour the Herring onto yourself while screaming and throw yourself to the ground.

Behold, your wee-wee has now grown a condom. The people will clap and give you fresh clothes.

You can then return and show all the women how it is done. ;)