Even though the annual Lazygamer Awards are regarded internationally as the only awards that actually matter, that hasn’t stopped other organisations from cashing in on our completely original idea to hand out prestigious honours to those video games who deserve them. Take for instance the annual DICE awards, a prize-giving gala that industry developers and publishers usually flock to for some reason, sometimes ignoring a chance to get their hands on one of our magnificent golden cocks.

This year, the awards included some stiff competition in the game of the year category. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, Ori and the Blind Forest, Rise of the Tomb Raider and Bloodborne. Somehow, Fallout 4 managed to win top honours, a move that is usually bookended by one of my inbred cousins yelling “DEY WUZ ROBBED!”.

It got even stranger. Fallout 4 romped home with awards for RPG, MMO and game direction of the year as well. That’s the equivalent of me being recognised by the Guinness World Record organisation as the tallest man alive. Look, Fallout 4 isn’t a bad game, but GOTY material? Pull the other one mate. Here’s the full list of winners from the DICE Awards, where it just gets even weirder:

Action game of the year: Star Wars Battlefront

Star Wars Battlefront Fighting game of the year: Mortal Kombat X

Mortal Kombat X Family game of the year: Super Mario Maker

Super Mario Maker Mobile game of the year: Fallout Shelter

Fallout Shelter Outstanding achievement in character: Lara Croft (Rise of the Tomb Raider)

Lara Croft (Rise of the Tomb Raider) Lifetime achievement: Satoru Iwata

Satoru Iwata Outstanding achievement in original music composition: Ori and the Blind Forest

Ori and the Blind Forest Outstanding achievement in sound design: Star Wars Battlefront

Star Wars Battlefront Outstanding achievement in story: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Outstanding technical achievement: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Outstanding achievement in animation: Ori and the Blind Forest

Ori and the Blind Forest Outstanding achievement in art direction: Ori and the Blind Forest

Ori and the Blind Forest RPG and MMO game of the year: Fallout 4

Fallout 4 Strategy and simulation game of the year: Heroes of the Storm

Heroes of the Storm Hall of Fame inductee: Hideo Kojima

Hideo Kojima Sports game of the year: Rocket League

Rocket League Racing game of the year: Forza Motorsport 6

Forza Motorsport 6 Outstanding achievement in online gameplay: Rocket League

Rocket League Handheld game of the year: Helldivers

Helldivers Technical impact: Visual Basic (Microsoft)

Visual Basic (Microsoft) Adventure game of the year: Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain

Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain Sprite award: Rocket League

Rocket League Outstanding achievement in game design: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Outstanding achievement in game direction: Fallout 4

Fallout 4 Game of the year: Fallout 4

Beyond the absurd selection of some of the winners, the DICE 2016 Awards did touch a few hearts though. The late Nintendo President Satoru Iwata was honoured with a lifetime achievement award, which was collected on his behalf by Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aime. “He always put himself second,” Fils-Aime said via VG247, quoting Earthbound creator Shigesato Itoi.

Mr Iwata, you were the best of us. You will never be second to us. You’ll always be number one.

Hideo Kojima was also inducted into the Hall of Fame by none other than Guillermo Del Toro, the director of the greatest movie of all time, Pacific Rim. And also that fellow who wanted to make video game babies with Kojima. What a weird night it all was.

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