No Ball State football players were arrested in the incident we are writing about, and none are accused of any wrongdoing. This will not prevent us from writing about it, because it is a story about poop and sports.

From the Ball State Daily:

Three Ball State football players were involved in an incident at Brothers Bar & Grill in which a minor attempted to tip a waitress with two dollar bills covered in fecal matter.

EWWWWWW POOP MONEY

According to the Muncie Police report, defensive back Darius Conaway, defensive lineman Kennan Noel and linebacker Nicholas Isaacs were listed as three of six "subjects that were allegedly causing the problems" around noon Sunday. The suspect, a 17 year old, left their table, which was also occupied by the three Ball State football players, and went into the bathroom after their waitress gave him his bill, according to the police report. After returning to the table he put the money into the black folder, according to police who sourced a security video of the event.

POOP MONEY! POOP MONEY! POOP MONEY!

Did he go to the bathroom to poop out money? Did he poop on the money, or did he take the money and smear poop on it? Did he at least tip well, if he covered the money in poop?

Anyway, this is a non-story. Some kid did something very stupid, and he isn't even a football player. Still, it prompted a quote from head coach Pete Lembo:

"This is more of just a lesson of being careful of who you are with, who you associate with," Lembo said. "Understanding that if you're a student-athlete, even if you're not guilty of doing anything, you just being connected with somebody that is is enough."

This has been the story of how a college football coach gave a statement about poop. We hope you've enjoyed.