This week I wanted to tackle a very popular subject in hookah talk. Namely, what makes a good pipe? There are definitely things to look for when determining the quality of a pipe. First off, does it “glow in the dark” ? Does it disassemble? Does it rotate? Does it have more than 1 hose port? If yes to any of these… you’re gonna have a bad time. Now, I know what some of you guys are saying. But John, I have a 9 hose Khalil Mamoon because I smoke with my friends… its a social thing. That’s great man, I’m just telling you you could be having a better experience.

The idea behind avoiding rotators, collapsible pipes, or screwing on a down-stem is because usually that screams cheap product. The head-shops charge ludicrous amounts of money for products that are bound to fail. In order for a pipe to be credited by elitists ,like myself, it needs to match a few criteria.

The stem must be larger than 10”. Sorry guys, she was right… its too small. Even in the hookah world size matters. The pipe must be brass, copper or stainless steel -otherwise your product is going to rust and die. That’s not to say the pipe materials I have listed are guaranteed to last. However with proper care and maintenance, I can promise you they will outlast any head-shop aluminum Ed Hardy pipe. Aside from the physical looks of the pipe there are structural differences as to why some hookahs are different. There are good vendors online who sell quality pipes. You can find decent rigs under a hundred dollars.

So lets say I talked you out of that god awful Chinese thing. Now you’re at a smoke shop with dozens of shiny brass and nickel plated pipes. Everything fits the bill. The pipes are heavy, single hose, non common chamber, even copper down stems! {If you find a store like this please let me know.} Now what do I do John? Now is the fun part. Does the pipe you are looking at please you aesthetically?After all, you are going to be looking at it a lot. Yes? Very good. Now pick it up. Look down the top of the stem. Does it look bent in anyway? Hopefully not. Plug the bottom with your index finger and blow from the top in to check for leaks. Do the same for the hose port. This part right here is the most important thing for me. How big are the hose and purge ports? An Egyptian style pipe is going to have larger ports than a Syrian style pipe. (To the right is a KM Tri-Metal, Left Nawras Syrian)

I’d also like to point out that I have a Syrian style stem that matches the port size of many Egyptian pipes as well as my Regal Melech. These pipes are all hand made over seas and often times vary in welding, size, material, weight etc.

Do you like a restricted draw on your pipe? Or are you more of a easy breather preferred kinda guy or gal? Once you answer those questions you can select the appropriate pipe. It is important to notice however even in the Khalil Mamoon family the down-stems vary in size.

To some down-stem length is not a big deal. I value it immensely. The length of the down-stem will determine the type of base you will be able to use and the amount of water you will fill that base with. All of these factors will -although very little in some cases, change the draw of your pipe.

Here is another thing you should think about before buying a pipe! Where are you going to clean it? I cannot tell you how frustrated I get trying to clean my rig at a friends house when I realize that the kitchen sink is unrealistically too small. I also know people who buy too large of pipes and get tired of cleaning them in the tub every night.

This is a quick checklist I run through my head each time I get asked, What do you think of my pipe? If you are in a money crunch…wait. Please for the love of God wait. Buy a decent stem first. The accessories such as bowl, base, hose and wind-cover can all come later.New products such as Nuhose of Fancy Hose’s are extremely inexpensive and provide a smooth draw which is night and day when compared to the original hoses these pipes come with.

I look forward to discussing accessories and any other questions you may have. Please take my advice with a grain of salt. If you are enjoying what you have going for yourself, by all means knock yourself out. My views are not intended to discourage you, or to tell you that you are wrong. My intent is to expand your horizon in hookah knowledge and enthusiasm.

Also, here are some more pictures of the mini photo-shoot I had prior to posting this.

Best wishes

_MH