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Pat Buchanan defends Palin’s media whine with a Freudian Slip and opens Pandora’s Box. Oopsie, Pat.

Pat Buchanan figured it was just another day on “Hardball” with Chris Matthews, defending the brilliance and relevance of the apple of his eye…oops, I mean, the apple of his party, Sarah Palin. But this particular time Pat opened his mouth, Freud reared his mind over tongue theory, and now the ball is a rollin’.

Now, I don’t watch Pat Buchanan because his screeching voice sets my nerves on edge and in this world of Republican craziness, a girl just can’t afford to give them an advantage like that. So, it was with great dedication and service for my country that I pressed play on this particular clip.

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Oh, I love Chris at times like this. No one gets to the nitty gritty like Chris. Remember when he went after the Republican who didn’t know WWII history during the campaign last fall? Just thinking about it makes me giddy. So, I know this is gonna be worth the pain. Here we go, Buckle up, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride:

MATTHEWS: Pat, can you think of something that the media, the national media, has reported about her that‘s not true? She talks about how our fighting forces overseas—and we‘re all for them—how we have to do them the favor, basically, or the honor of not telling bad stories about her. What has been said that‘s not true by the media about Sarah Palin? What‘s she talking about?

BUCHANAN: Well, I don‘t know. When it started off—I don‘t know where the source was—the allegation was floating all over the place, reported by the media, that Bristol‘s child—rather, the child she was born with, with Down syndrome, was actually Bristol Palin‘s. It was a horrible, ugly thing. And I think that‘s wounded her. There‘s no doubt her…

MATTHEWS: Well, who was reporting that in the media, “The New York Times,” “The Washington Post,” the networks?

BUCHANAN: Well, I was hearing it—well, look…

MATTHEWS: I never heard anybody report that.

BUCHANAN: Mike Barnicle, quite frankly, was one of the fellows who was telling me about it when we were out there in Denver. But Chris, she can answer that thing.

So…nothin’ to see here. Just another Republican lie. Another fable gone bad when mean ole Chris Matthews asked for facts. None of the media reported on the Trig scandal. No one had brought it up until last night, Pat, when you so conveniently touted Bristol Palin’s baby being born with Down’s Syndrome as proof that the Poujadist Princess had been run outta Juneau, in spite of her best efforts to rule. He must have meant to say Sarah Palin’s baby, since his entire point was that the media was reporting that Trig was not her child, but rather Bristol’s. Ouch. However, the only time Pat heard about it was when some dude told him about it (!!!) in Denver. Ok…See, that wasn’t on the air, Pat. None of US heard about it. Until now. Capiche?

Not one to be shamed easily, Pat had no problem holding the line. Tell me another bedtime fairytale, Uncle Pat. I got a few I want to share with you, too, about some good people whose lives were threatened after an evil Snow Queen told her Kindgom that they were “pallin’ around with terrorists”, but I digress.

Yes, complete with Freudian slip and all, Pat Buchanan outed his sweetie’s lie about the MSM (and perhaps some other really ugly lies, but really, I can only handle so much sober). And now that he has, the rest of the MSM has free reign to follow up by reporting on the Wild Ride, the rumors regarding the fact that the hospital has no official announcement record of Trig’s birth, the fact that she never put a stop to the rumors by supplying a birth certificate for Trig (these questions were brought up by ADN readers and a journalist who was trying to help her by putting an end to the rumor) and the fact that this was a rumor long before she was “tapped” (love her word choices) as VP candidate. Rumors, I tell ya’, rumors! Where did I hear it? Uncle Pat. And then the googles for clarification. Thanks, Pat.

Frankly, I don’t care whether or not she gave birth to Trig. The personal lives of the Wasilla Hillbillies are just too complicated for this girl to digest. I come from the Midwest — you know, real America? So this is all too much for me. But after hearing her version of the Wild Ride, there are legitimate questions to pose a potential Presidential candidate, no?

Questions about judgment. Like, gee, you were pregnant with a special needs child, your water broke, and then you decided to fly all the way back to Alaska from Texas (involving a plane change), and then bypass one (or two?) hospitals on your drive home so that you could get to the hospital in Wasilla, where the doctor who treated you did not specialize in high risk pregnancies?

Ok. I’d like to hear the reasoning behind that one. Especially if you’re suggesting you have your hand anywhere near the Red Button, because right now, it does not say “calm, good under stress, considers all angles before making decision”. It says, “erratic, emotional and does not take others’ safety into account” at the very least. But then, I’m pesky about things like decision-making processes of my elected officials. Eight years of the Great Gutster will do that to a person. Sigh.

Pat was none too concerned with any of this, though. Even after his Freudian slip, “that Bristol‘s child—rather, the child she was born with, with Down syndrome, was actually Bristol Palin‘s,” he valiantly carried on with his lover’s task of blind adulation.

It’s so sad when your fan club turns on you like this. Bad Uncle Pat!!

Lest you think the crazy was contained to Fables of Evil Media, I’ll leave you with Pat’s strategy suggestions re Palin:

BUCHANAN: “But right now, if you‘re talking 2010, yes, she‘s on the right course. You get yourself a good rally speech and you use it like Nixon did in 1966.

MATTHEWS: Yes.

BUCHANAN: He wasn‘t out there boring the country with one-hour press conferences on health care.

Oh, Pat.

Yes, those pesky one hour press conferences on stupid issues like American lives. Pffft. Who needs it! We’d rather buy a bumper sticker, Pat! Sing us a jingle! Drill, baby, drill!

Lie to me, Republicans. I promise, I’ll believe.