Kathy A. Megyeri

Washington

To the Editor:

Men should listen to women.

Not because Kimberly Probolus says so. Nor for the reasons she states. Her arguments are pure poppycock, either totally absurd or completely useless.

Dr. Probolus says that women do not speak with one voice. Yet she urges members of Congress to “listen to the opinions of their female constituents and prioritize the legislation that they ask for.” Members of Congress should listen to their female constituents. Not because they are female, but because they are constituents. But legislators cannot determine which legislative proposals to prioritize simply by noting the gender of constituents.

Likewise, Dr. Probolus advises men in their private conversations with women to “listen to her, and do what she says.” The absurdity of this advice becomes clear simply by reversing roles. Would anybody take me seriously if I were to advise women in their private lives to “listen to him and do what he says”?

As a male reader and a staunch supporter of equal opportunity for men and women, I find that her argument makes me less likely to listen to the next feminist argument, not more.

Men should take women seriously, not because they are women, but because they are people, and because the inherent dignity of all individuals is equally inalienable, regardless of gender. And because increased diversity of participation in public life improves the quality of all of our lives and our democracy, which sorely needs women’s voices just now.

That is why men should listen to women.

John Fahs

Oslo

To the Editor:

When I, as a young woman in the 1980s, was invited to a party to be introduced to “society” in my fiancé’s Southern city, I was advised by the women there that women don’t talk politics, don’t make jokes and should seldom join in the conversation. Their role is to listen intently to the men and laugh politely. In my experience the legacy of that mentality persists, albeit to a lesser degree.

If the first step to change is awareness that there’s an issue, I encourage men to start paying attention — to how often it’s the men who dominate the conversation in a mixed group and the women who just listen politely and can’t seem to break in; to how often when a man and a woman are conversing, the woman asks about the man and his life and the man asks nothing about the woman; to how often the men expound on a topic they know little about when the silent woman in their midst is an expert.