So I know the stereotype that Fi is selfish or doesn't care for others is untrue, but is there a difference in how Fi users express this versus Fe? If you were upset and went to an Fi friend and an Fe friend, how would they react differently? Would they have different ideas in how to best help you? Like distraction vs active consoling. Could a more dominant thinking function affect this?

Fi can be very nice. Just the other day, a Fi friend of mine leaving a theater on a rainy evening saw an older couple walking ahead of her without an umbrella, and ran forward to cover them with her own umbrella. Total strangers. She walked them to their car. So yeah, screw the stereotype that Fi is selfish.

When people say that Fi is selfish, they mean that it is based in self. It is, therefore, selfish, but not necessarily selfish toward other people–merely, selfish in that it measures everything according to how it feels about whatever it is, to an internal abstract idealistic moral code.



That aside, you generally cannot tell the difference between Fe/Fi in terms of caring about people, or what they might do in a situation. Fi is going to be a little more awkward with an outpouring of emotion than Fe, but both will try and comfort you, reassure you, and help you in whatever way they can (presuming, of course, your friend really does care … and most of them will). Usually, Fe goes into “problem solving mode” through Ti, and wants to fix whatever it is, after, of course, expressing total contempt for whatever it is, or whomever it was, that hurt your feelings. Fe is a “go big, or go home” function – melodrama in a great, creative burst of FEELS on your behalf. Fi is not as inclined to that kind of rampant moralization, and is going to react through Te in some way.

Let’s see, in terms of responding… Te is more pragmatic, while Fi is quietly consoling. It’s the difference between, “I heard what’s happening to you, and I’m so sorry. I really do know how you feel, so I know it must hurt. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you,” and Fe’s “THOSE BASTARDS HURT YOU? HOW DARE THEY! I WILL CRUSH THEM BENEATH MY WRATH, TELL ME WHERE THEY LIVE.”

Don’t tell them. Really. Don’t.

