If she still had a problem, the court ruled, Ms. Spivey could let someone else represent Mr. Ellison’s estate.

Ms. Spivey decided to go ahead with the mediation, though she said she worried how Christian panelists would view her son because of his homosexuality and drug addiction.

Peacemaker Ministries, which would run the process, said the mediation would incorporate prayer and scripture, according to a motion Ms. Spivey’s attorney filed in Florida circuit court. Lawyers for both sides were also told that if they attended, they could not advocate on their clients’ behalf. Ms. Spivey had to pay a $5,000 retainer and a $750 fee to Peacemaker Ministries, her lawyer said in court papers.

Dale Pyne, chief executive of Peacemaker Ministries, said he understood Ms. Spivey’s reluctance about conciliation since it was her son who had signed the arbitration agreement, not her. But he said the process helped “those in conflict to reconcile their issues and their relationships.” He added that “most of that is highly unlikely in a court process.”

Last year, Ms. Spivey decided to settle with Teen Challenge. She said she felt she was neglecting her other two children by obsessing over the case, which had gone on for more than two years. She declined to disclose the settlement amount.

Ms. Spivey said that without a court trial, she was never able to learn what happened to her son, not just on the night he died, but during his stay at Teen Challenge.

His family still does not know why he wrote the letter saying he was no longer gay, or whether he meant it. “I don’t actually believe it,” his sister Katie said.

Mr. Ellison did not mail the letter. His family found it in his duffel bag at the apartment where he died. It was mixed in with clothes, family pictures and his Bible.