Home India Two women and their wedding, in the open and happy about it

Two women and their wedding, in the open and happy about it

Both had been married earlier, their husbands now deceased. Sandhu plans to formally adopt her partner’s three-year-old daughter.

Constable Manjit Sandhu drove to the wedding in this chariot, in groom’s attire. Express

It was initially meant to be a private wedding, two women in Punjab who wanted to keep it a secret. But when they found that they couldn’t, they decided to come out in the open. “Photos of us went viral on WhatsApp and YouTube even before we could complete the rituals. So many false things were written about us, which hurt a lot,” said Manjit Sandhu, 43, a police constable. “So we decided not to hide anything and went for an open wedding, with all the rituals.” It was probably the first wedding ritually solemnised between two same-sex partners in Punjab. Sandhu, a Sikh posted in Kapurthala, married her partner, a Christian hailing from Bathinda, under Hindu rituals that were conducted in Janata Mandir in Jalandhar Saturday. They did not specify why they chose Hindu rituals.

Sandhu’s partner had been married earlier, her husband now deceased. Sandhu plans to formally adopt her partner’s three-year-old daughter. Family, friends and Sandhu’s police colleagues attended the wedding, which was followed by a party in a hotel. Following the wedding, the couple said they had no idea what people said behind their backs but they had the support of colleagues, neighbours and friends. Having decided against secrecy, Sandhu rode a chariot to the wedding, a red turban on her head and a garland of currency notes around her neck designating her as the groom. She put sindoor on her partner’s forehead and took her home in the chariot. The partner was in bridal attire, red lehenga and bangles. Both had mehendi on their hands, Sandhu wearing less of it than her partner.

Sandhu wears her hair short, prefers trousers and shirts, and likes to work out in the gym and drive a motorcycle, besides watching movies on Sundays. “I have always lived like a boy but never wished to get my sex changed. I was born a woman,” she said, angrily referring to some reports that had suggested a sex-change operation. The two had known each other a long time. After the death of the husband of Sandhu’s partner a few years ago, when Sandhu was posted in Bathinda, they began to meet more frequently, Sandhu said.

“As time went by, I realised I could never marry a man as my preference had always been for a woman,” Sandhu said. At one stage, she searched matrimonial advertisements for a bride but gave up. “Then I had two cardiac arrests a couple of years ago and I realised I needed a partner, as no one else comes to help in the time of need. I made my choice immediately and she too accepted my proposal at once,” Sandhu said. “I am happy that I took the decision before it was too late,” she said. “I have applied in court for legal adoption of my partner’s daughter. She will be my legal heir.”

Her partner, who wished not to be named, said, “It was because of love that we could take this courageous step in a society where such marriages are viewed with contempt. It’s our life, and life is too short.” Sandhu hails originally from a village in Amritsar. For the last 15 years, she has been living in Jalandhar, from where she travels to Kapurthala for work. She owns a three-storey house in Jalandhar’s Pucca Bagh and also rents out two of those floors.

Sandhu’s parents died during the 1984 riots in Delhi. She and her sisters were brought up by relatives. Sandhu studied nursing and joined the police in 1996. Her partner said her parents had wanted to settle her down after the death of her husband. “But when I shared my feelings for Manjit with them, they agreed,” she said. “I am enjoying my new life and we went to my home just to perform phera according to Hindu rituals. My parents were very happy.” A senior police officer told The Indian Express: “It is Sandhu’s personal life and we have no problem with it. What matters is that she remains dedicated to her duty.” Sandhu did not take leave for the wedding. It was her day off.

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