Parental choice now depends on ability to pay in some rural areas, where a new school bus policy to cut costs is splitting families and communities. Children suffering severe anxiety, parents fearing they may have to give up their jobs to drive one child to class behind a bus transporting a sibling – these images are a far cry from the happy picture of school choice successive governments have tried to project.

In Suffolk, father-of-two Tristan Wood finds the stress of getting his daughter to secondary school overwhelming. It is not anxiety over whether she will be accepted or rejected for her choice of school – that process proved relatively straightforward. The stress is owing to the complex and divisive new school transport policy in their rural area. “I can’t begin to say how this has affected us as a family”, says Wood, a local housing officer.

Until this year, free school transport in Suffolk was determined on transport priority areas linked to school catchments, with schools organised into groups to smooth transition between primary and secondary. This year, children will qualify for a free bus pass only if they attend their nearest school – measured by contested walking routes. If they choose another, even a few metres further away, their parents will need to spend hundreds of pounds on a bus pass – if they can find a free space on the bus – or drive them the many miles to school.

Because distances are calculated by walking routes, not roads, villages are being split, with some sections being in a “bus catchment area” going five or six miles to a school in one direction, and the rest to another school. Siblings are being separated, with younger brothers and sisters offered bus passes to a different school because it is closer to their homes.

In nearby Essex, which introduced a similar scheme four years ago, campaigners say the council is transporting 7,000 fewer children to school.

Scott Wilson, of Essex Against School Transport Cuts, says: “It is the cost to parents that is most concerning. Our survey found that many are making sacrifices to get their children to their ‘catchment’ schools rather than accepting the draconian diktats of the council to secondary schools with which they have no relationship.”

Back in Suffolk, the Wood family say they moved to the area to be in the “pathway” for their chosen school, Sir Thomas Gainsborough in Sudbury, which their son Jamie attends. His sister, Matilda, 19 months younger, believed she would follow him there. Although she has gained a place, the county council’s new transport checker means she has been offered free transport only to a school six miles in the opposite direction, as it is marginally closer.

If the family wants their children to attend the same school, they can pay £750 a year for Matilda’s pass on the bus, which will rise to almost £1,000 over the next two years. Even this option depends on the availability of spare seats, which could change on a termly basis.

The Woods say they could drive Matilda to school behind the school bus, but one parent would have to give up work.

“All our schools are over six miles away in terms of walking distance,” says Wood. “It would put a huge financial burden on us if we have to pay for a spare seat – but even then it could disappear next term, creating more uncertainty. If my wife, who is a nurse, gives up work to arrange the transport ourselves, we may not be able to pay our mortgage. There is constant stress on us, and on our daughter.”

Matilda is currently going to her first-choice school on a temporary bus pass while her parents appeal against the council’s decision to fund travel to a different school to her brother’s.

A Suffolk School Bus Campaign image shows the village of Nayland, where some children will be forced to pay for bus travel while neighbours won’t. Photograph: Twitter

They are not alone in feeling angry and confused. A Facebook group Suffolk Parents Against School Transport Proposals has attracted almost 1,000 members, many with similar stories of parents at breaking point, or contemplating giving up their jobs for their child to attend their preferred school.

Helen Geake, a Green councillor, is concerned about the impact of the policy on the environment as more parents drive. In addition, her primary-age children risk being separated from their closest friends.

“Half my village is lucky and half isn’t. This has caused a lot of ill-will. Many of the losers are from less affluent families and can’t afford to just get into their cars,” she says.

Another parent, Ali Everett, is still waiting for a temporary bus pass for his daughter, who has just started year 7. “We can buy a spare seat at £750 that may not last. Everyone knows another family who might bump your child off the bus,” he says. “My daughter is suffering severe anxiety, still not sure which school she will finally attend.”

Jack Abbott, Suffolk county council’s opposition Labour education spokesman, believes the policy probably won’t even save money, as most children will still need to be funded to travel long distances to school. “The policy has been very badly implemented, interferes with parent choice and is causing a lot of distress, pushing those ‘just about managing’ families over the edge if they have to find an extra £1,000 a year to attend the school they feel is best for their child,” he says.

Abbott believes the problem has been compounded by the opening of several free schools in Suffolk, facilitated by the closure of the county middle-school system that left vacant school buildings.

For several villages the free schools are closer than long-standing high schools, and the fact that some are undersubscribed has caused some parents to suspect the transport policy is also designed to boost free-school rolls.

The council’s executive member for children’s services, education and skills, Gordon Jones, says the council needed to make school transport costs more sustainable and says the policy change was subject to extensive consultation, that parents can appeal, and the process is being evaluated for next year.

But he acknowledges parental choice is affected and that for many families, the travel policy trumps parental preference: “Parents still have a choice,” he says. “But they must take school travel into account when applying for their child’s school place.”