Call them 99 Tears, those now being metaphorically shed by Wayne Gretzky in recounting the tale of how he rejected Garden chairman Jim Dolan’s offer of $1 million to take some time to reconsider his decision to retire on the cusp of his announcement late in the final week of the 1998-99 season.

But if Gretzky — whose decision had been etched in granite from the moment he had arrived at it perhaps a couple of weeks earlier, the news of which was broken by The Post days in advance of The Great One’s official confirmation — had deferred the announcement, No. 99 would not have had the opportunity to say goodbye to Canada, as he did in that stirring final road game in Ottawa on April 15 following which he was named all three stars of the night.

And there would have no Great Goodbye at the Garden on April 18 in that final game against the Penguins that began with a pre-game ceremony featuring Vancouver’s Mark Messier, and Edmonton general manager Glen Sather and ended with Gretzky’s emotional victory lap around the rink.

Even a million dollars can’t buy memories like those.

You know the game has changed beyond all recognition if Coach John Tortorella has resurrected the “Safe is Death” philosophy in Columbus he preached during the his 2003-04 Cup run in Tampa Bay — and that he struck from his vocabulary by the time he reached New York in 2009.

If memory serves, Tortorella threatened harm to anyone who dared to mouth the mantra on Broadway. Or maybe that was only me.

In a year where Auston Matthews and Patrik Laine seem destined to wrestle over the Calder, the Jackets’ 19-year-old freshman defenseman Zach Werenski might even be worthy of a vote or two all his own.

The mistake was made last year, when Rangers coach Alain Vigneault wouldn’t give a starkly improved Dylan McIlrath the time he deserved, instead unfailingly (Ha!) sticking with struggling veterans Dan Girardi and Dan Boyle throughout the second half of the season.

The Rangers paid for it then and they — and McIlrath — are paying for it now as the team attempts to make do with stop-gaps such as Nick Holden and Adam Clendening on the right side while No. 6 on the back of his Blueshirt, but No. 8 on the depth chart attempts to rebuild his confidence and his game in the AHL.

So now, per the estimable Pierre LeBrun of ESPN, it appears as if Las Vegas will have a 48-hour window in which to sign pending unrestricted and restricted free agents left unprotected by their clubs in advance of the June expansion draft, and therefore well in advance of the July 1 opening of the market for the Other 30.

No offer sheets, no right to match on restricted free agents. Sign him, seal him and deliver him to most favored owner Bill Foley and general manager George McPhee’s outfit.

What’s next, the NHL adopting the CHL Memorial Cup plan and holding the Stanley Cup final in Las Vegas where, as the host city, the Knights of the Desert would be automatic qualifiers?

Dougie Hamilton is a solid righty defenseman who provides an offensive kick in a league where there simply are not enough of them to go around. But his game has never quite matched the hype attendant to him, and the hype is largely a byproduct of the fact the Bruins could draft him ninth overall in 2011 as part of the then-generous return from Toronto for Phil Kessel.

The Maple Leafs are at Barclays on Sunday, so that gives you the good fortune of being able to watch John Tavares and Matthews on the ice. For now, they’re on different teams.

At some point, the “it’s early, but …” qualifier no longer applies, but probably not quite yet. It is in that forgiving vein we refer you to Andrew Ladd of the Islanders, who only has six years and 74 games to go on his contract.

P.A. Parenteau keeps on doing that thing he does, which is score goals. Why he’s doing it for the Devils rather than the Islanders is anybody’s guess.

But hey, the Islanders are stacked three-deep in goal for the second straight year, which is a record. Maybe GM Garth Snow is reliving the days of Bill Torrey, who once carried three goaltenders on his pre-dynasty team of 1977-78, Goran Hogosta at the back of the line behind Chico Resch and Billy Smith.

And it was Hogosta who had the best goals against average of them all — in fact of any goaltender in franchise history — by recording nine scoreless minutes against Atlanta in relief of Smith in a 9-0 victory at the Coliseum on Nov. 1, 1977 — 39 years ago Tuesday.

After which, a beaming Al Arbour offered a twist on the cliché on Page 4 of the coach’s manual by proclaiming memorably, “We’ve got three No. 1 goaltenders.”

Words to be remembered by Jack Capuano.

Is there a team in the league more in need of a dynamic force on the back end than the Devils, who somehow years and years later still have not recovered from losing Brian Rafalski, let alone Scott Niedermayer?

Finally, you almost have to admire the Rangers for the way the organization has airbrushed their only general manager to win a Stanley Cup in the last 76 years out of the 90th anniversary photo album, don’t you?

Who gets invited back first: Roger Clemens to Yankee Stadium or Neil Smith to the Garden?