Feeling unwelcome in a traditionally non-queer space

Many queer folks with skills that are valued in the tech community do not apply for positions, even though they would be a good fit for the role. Tech companies still give off an unwelcoming vibe for LBGTQ folks. In order to take that first step and apply for a position at the startup of their dreams, applicants need representation.

The next time you see an About page or a job description making the rounds on Twitter, chances are it features a handful of cis white men playing foosball or drinking microbrews. Representation needs to be visible and accessible, or it can’t be found by potential applicants.

When thinking about whether or not to apply to a position, applicants will scour your company’s website for a mirror image — one that gives them the impression that they’ll feel safe, accepted, and welcomed at your company. Without seeing themselves represented on About pages, LGBTQ potential applicants will turn away from your company thinking “maybe this isn’t the place for me”.

Representation and empowerment at your company

LGBTQ representation to potential applicants isn’t easy. You can’t simply put a queer person on your homepage and pat yourself on the back. We don’t have easily identifiable group characteristics — we don’t always wear rainbow patches on our sweaters. Queer representation has to come in a deeper and more committed way. It requires action that your company can take to show that LBGTQ representation, growth, and empowerment really matters to them.

Forward thinking companies who care about diversity and inclusion have diversity groups that focus on creating a safe space for employees, advocating for team members, and creating conversations that focus on moving the company forward. They create codes of conduct for the company and for external events, extending a safe space philosophies beyond their internal groups.

For this article, I interviewed two queer women at a top Boston tech startup. I’ll refer to them as Kim and Nadia. In their company’s code of conduct, Kim explains, “is an explanation of what microgressions are. We’re bringing it to onboarding new people”. Diversity groups hold talks, events, create awareness, and challenge the company’s norms, hoping to build a stronger and more community oriented company by doing deep dives into what’s often overlooked or not talked about.

“I joined, in part, because there were two women on the leadership team — I may not have otherwise”

Representation sends a message. When your company doesn’t have any minorities in leadership positions, that says something to a potential candidate. Kim joined her tech company right out of a non-profit. “I joined, in part, because there were two women on the leadership team — I may not have otherwise”. That representation tells a candidate that minorities are valued at the company. A homogenous executive team sends warning flags for applicants who want to grow and feel welcome at a company that will value them.

Don’t make folks check a box

When LGBTQ folks do make it to your application page, don’t push them away by making a binary gender selection mandatory. Queer and gender nonconforming folks who do not wish to identify as “male” or “female” will instantly leave your application page and never look back. Creating a space that is welcoming to LGBTQ folks means creating an application process that does not force applicants to put themselves in a box they don’t feel like they belong in. Eliminating the gender box entirely, or adding options that fit the queer community sends a message that the company folks are applying to is cognizant of LGBTQ issues and truly wants to create a safe space for folks right from the very beginning.

John Kershaw’s Open Gender Project is committed to codifying the complexities of gender in a tech world that is mostly non-inclusive to the LGBTQ community. They’re working on building a company that will guide other startups in creating a website and/or product that is cognizant of gender and welcoming to everyone.

“Finding ways to describe your gender can be challenging in formal contexts. This is important work, and there’s not a lot of information out there on how to do it”. The Open Gender Project offers free consultations and is working to raise awareness of gender in software and how companies can move forward in inclusivity.

Advocate for diversity

Many companies have realized the diversity issue in today’s tech industry and have created internal diversity groups that exist to challenge status-quo notions, help the company create better diversity and inclusion policies at work, and welcome diverse candidates. Diversity groups are made up of company employees who believe that this is something they want to get involved in voluntarily. However, in these groups, some folks may become stuck in feeling that because they are a part of a certain minority group, they are their only advocate and must be very active in the group, or no-one else will speak up for them.

Nadia, who I interviewed over coffee, describes some of the struggles of being a constant representative for diversity and inclusion. “It’s so important to me and I feel this sense of urgency about it. To them it’s just like oops, I didn’t think about that. I’m like why aren’t you thinking about this all the time? Because I experience this, it’s on me, and it is more top of mind for me”.

Diversity groups at today’s tech companies need to be focused, goal-driven, and present in all company processes. Getting employees from the white cis male majority to participate in these groups is important to the company’s overall diversity success. It opens folks up to the experiences of minority groups in tech and minimizes the chance of minority employees of feeling like tokens in a group.

“It feels like every day you have to be advocating for diversity and inclusion goals or else they don’t happen”, Nadia says. “It’s balancing the fact that I look [queer], so then people think of course I’m pushing this agenda. I don’t know that people think that, but it feels that way. We need more allies”.

“It’s balancing the fact that I look [queer], so then people think of course I’m pushing this agenda. I don’t know that people think that, but it feels that way. We need more allies”

Make inclusivity a priority

Changes your company can make to be more inclusive

Inclusivity at your company can move forward with some actionable changes. Make these a priority to foster a more inclusive and diverse company and be a role model for the tech community at large. Thanks to the folks who talked with me about the changes they’d like to see it tech spaces:

Maria Jose Balbontin, HootSuite: “Single stall or gender neutral bathrooms are a super easy way to show queers you care”. Gender neutral bathrooms take away a trans or gender non-conforming person’s anxiety around something that others take for granted. Shout out to the folks at MozCon 2016 for creating a safe experience for all attendees.

Nadia, Boston tech company: “Recruit from queer spaces”. Meeting people where they are is a great way to let folks know that the company truly values having folks from a diverse background contributing to their product.

Make gender pronouns the norm. When hosting company events, ask employees and attendees to wear name tags with their preferred gender pronouns. This will decrease the risk of uncomfortable corrections if someone misgenders another person.

Kim, Boston tech company: “Remote work lets queers build different lives in different places and still stay connected to a company”. Creating a remote work policy will allow folks who may not be able to come into the office every day because of location, disability, family situation, etc. be a part of the company of their dreams.

John Kershaw, Open Gender Project: “Finding ways to describe your gender can be challenging in formal contexts”. Use inclusive language on your website and job descriptions, as well as in your product.

Finding your queer tech community

Interview your company

Coming into a new tech community can be a scary process, trying to maneuver around a space where folks may not feel immediately welcome. Remember that you’re interviewing the company as much as they are interviewing you. Use tactics that will help you determine whether the company you’re interviewing will be a good space:

Reach out to fellow queer techies and see which companies are queer friendly. Word travels, and others in the community will be happy to help you.

Look at About pages and Company pages that talk about the culture of the company. Notice the team activities they do together and whether folks on the team page represent diversity.

Ask about their benefits package. Does it include trans health care? Is language around their parental leave policy inclusive?

If you’re out and open to it, be straightforward and say that you’re queer. Ask if there are other queer folks on the team. See how your interviewers react. You have nothing to lose. If you find out that the company is a bad choice for you, you’ve actually done yourself a favor.

Ask to speak to employees who won’t be working on your team. Tip from Kim — “it’s good to meet folks in person and speak to them so you can get a good feel for the culture instead of relying solely on the website or your interviewer”.

If folks make assumptions in the interview process, use gender non-inclusive language, pick up on that.

Check out your local queer groups, such as Queer Exchange Boston or Lesbians Who Tech. These folks can help with questions, past experiences, and community, as well as job postings.

Although the process of finding a company that’s right for you can be hard and tumultuous, understand that the tech community is a place for you. You can make the industry better with your presence. There’s a whole community behind you.