WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

Nick Pooley took out an insurance policy yesterday evening down at a local pub in the Old City District.

The plumber from Betoota Heights did so by prefacing a story he was about to tell with the word ‘apparently.’

Before launching into what is most like a wildly exaggerated and glorified story filled about a local politician’s recent escapades, Pooley made sure to qualify what he was about to say with the use of the word.

“Yeah, so apparently,” he said before rolling through the story that has changed forms significantly since it was first recounted down at the RSL in the Heights.

Using the term that begins any forwarded message from an insider source or a mate’s uncle relating to sport in male group chats, Pooley explained that he knew once everyone nodded he was given free reign.

“I mean look, I heard the story from my old man and it’s most likely a crock of shit, to be honest. I can’t really imagine how he even came into contact with that celebrity, but it’s a good one to spin,” said Pooley.

“And if you just say ‘apparently’ before hand it doesn’t really matter whether it’s true or not.”

“Plus it provides you with an out any time some asks a prickly question about the story or tries to fact check the events and your ‘source,'” Pooley laughed.

“I thoroughly recommend using it.”