Roundtable

As a Woman, I Ask:

Is Your Sikhi Limited to the Gurdwara?

HARSHARAN KAUR

THE ROUNDTABLE OPEN FORUM # 102

As of late, the media has picked up investment in women’s rights, particularly Indian women and the rape plague encompassing India. My brothers have awoken and have taken more investment in the absence of women’s representation in the media and inside our communities.



Although I appreciate the affection, I take this new attention with an “eye roll”.



There is an enormous part of me that accepts that women have turned into the new feature, simple to reblog, post, and make a speedy status about. We have all become internet activists, with the instant gratification it provides us.



Not a single person wants to spend more than a moment to inquire about or explore why the framework is the way it is. Our story, our battle has been streamlined into a simple quick click of the mouse.



We need to ask, what have we done in our day-to-day lives to promote women’s safety and equality?



More importantly, is it even safe for women to discuss their rights?



I was set to call out my Sikh brothers. However, I was reminded Sikhs don't oppress or discriminate against women, we are all equivalent. It is the Punjabi culture which requires the calling out; the possessive, patriarchal society that has entwined with our Sikhi.



Ostensibly, we demonstrate our Sikhness: at the gurdwara, men clean the plates, serve langar, mop the floors. Yet, inside the four entryways of our homes, do men clean the dishes or help serve?



Sikhi just exists in the gurdwaras, but in our homes we return to Punjabi culture.



So, I ask: does Sikhi just apply in the gurdwaras?



Fascinating how the one thing that raises an eyebrow is our sexuality; indeed, it is the main thing that gets attention.



When it comes to sexuality, something men have asserted as theirs to take once wedded, their ears have perked. A woman in that aspect belongs to the man, and once a woman has suffered sexual abuse, essentially the man’s property has been tainted; there is invested interest.



Like a jealous child when another child plays with his toys.



Men have overlooked past damages and dangers that have come our way; child abuse scarcely gets talked over, domestic abuse is swept under the rug, and even women have accepted it as a part of married life. A woman is not always able to leave the situation.



If it’s not possible to create equality in our households, it’s still our duty to create equality amongst our daughters and sons. The degradation in our culture and communities needs to be changed.



I ask once again, does Sikhi only exist in the gurdwaras?



We are stuck in a society based around the man, which throughout history has made us complicit in the annihilation of women. In fact, the few well known women in our history are portrayed in association with their men.



Bibi Amro, we are told, was the daughter of Guru Angad; Mata Khivi, his wife. Bibi Nanaki, Guru Nanak’s sister.



Their full duties as driving forces and warriors unto themselves, we are told, are dominated by the men they upheld.



The genuine result?



Adolescent Sikh girls are expected to act in the traditional gender roles, but are told they are equals.



We have to change our Punjabi language and its descriptors.



Our community’s value on a woman’s virginity and honour is extreme and holds no merit. The shadow named ‘bezti’ which is appended to a female if anything uncommon happens is crooked, subsequently leaving the female feeling unsupported and shunned.



Where are the men who battled the Nadir Shahs and who overcame the Ahmed Shah Abdalis? Where are the Jassa Singh Ahluwalias? Where have they all gone?



In Guru Gobind Singh’s time, women were emancipated, they marched against armies, were commanders, even jathedars.



Assuming that you have the need to really do something, why not stand with us, and take us out of the glass house you have placed us in? We are not zoo creatures, art on display, which needs to be gazed at, or which needs to be recovered.



We can safeguard ourselves, indeed, that is the main thing we've generally had; solidarity among sisters.



Why not ask us to actually contribute to the solutions, to the change?



It is one thing for a woman to ask why she is serving chai, it would be different if the man being served, asked why?



Get us into the gurdwaras and community centres discussing our issues. Help us make our own particular documentaries, and help us create our own stories, our own depiction.



In today’s society, a Sikh man’s responsibility is to help remind the woman she is already emancipated, not try to emancipate her.



For umpteen eras, the man has composed our story; the time has come to let us compose our own.



We are real; we are a part of the community.



We have more to offer, besides what is between our thighs.



We are more than our sexuality, more than our "innocence being taken".



The definition of what an ideal Indian woman is, needs to be rewritten. History has continually taken from us, and yet, we will continue to be resilient, rise at every occasion, like a phoenix out of the ashes.



The call for sovereignty beats through the Sikh custom, it’s in our veins, in our blood.



A new era of Sikh women have risen, they are wellsprings of impulse, astuteness and authority in their communities. Our Gurus taught us how to overcome overwhelming odds, and so I hope; I hope Sikhi permeates our minds, our homes, our streets and I hope for Sikhi to not stop at the gurdwara doors.

THE ROUNDTABLE OPEN FORUM # 102

We invite your thoughts and responses to the issues raised in this article. Please post them hereunder.

[The author is a student at the Unversity of Manitoba in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. In June 2013, Harsharan was selected one of Amnesty International's "Top-20 Canadians 25 & Under." She has worked for the RCMP as a 911 operator for the past 5 years.]

September 6, 2013

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