It’s a nerve-wracking moment when you’re with someone new and she takes off your pants for the first time. What is she going to think of your penis? Does it look good to her? Here we tell you what girls think makes the perfect penis.

It’s a bit tricky for us girls to fully appreciate how you guys feel about your penises. It’s such a personal appendage, stuck to you like that, always hanging around. It’s also impossible for us to completely understand how much you worry about your penises and how they look.

We all have our body hang-ups, but it seems like you guys scrutinise your penises a lot. So let us ask the question: what does the perfect penis look like?

Pressure for penile perfection

Is there even such a thing as the one true perfect penis? Society tries to enforce on us one standard of beauty, but we all know that not everybody likes the stick-thin model type or the guy on the cover of Men’s Health magazine. It’s about personal preference, and the same holds true across faces, bodies and penises too.

The lengths that some people go to in the name of beauty and perfection can be extreme and even downright dangerous, and penis treatments are equally ridiculous. Pills, surgery, stretching devices, weight systems, pumps, injections — they are all unnecessary.

You might think that they make a difference, but the difference is only in your bank balance. Your penis is fine just the way it is. The universe is so big, and you’re concerned about the tiniest amount of skin around the head of your penis, a slight curve to the right, or one centimetre here or there?

There are bigger things to worry about, and the sooner you let go of your hang-ups about your member, the sooner you can get down to having great, uninhibited and satisfying sex with your one-of-a-kind perfect penis.

Variations on a johnson-shaped theme

Every willy is unique. Cut or uncut? Helmet-head or smooth? A grow-er or a show-er? Curved or straight? And of course, there are the variations in length, from a mini-me to a whopper.

What does all of this variety mean? If I may get a bit science-geeky on penises and evolution for a moment, the fact that there is such variation in penis size and shape says something about sexual selection.

Throughout human history, if females chose their mates based on one ‘perfect’ penis specimen, there should be less variation in penises these days, and the vast majority of you gentlemen should possess that ‘perfect’ specimen or something very close to it.

The fact that there exists so much variety is evidence that women choose their partners based on factors other than your waggler. In other words, chicks don’t care about dicks.

Do you wish your penis looked different? (your partner's if you're a girl!) — Harriet Sugarcookie (@HSugarCookie) March 20, 2018

The angle of the dangle

Just as there are countless differences in penises, there is the same variety in vulvas and vaginas. There isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ in either penises or vaginas. Your dongle is unique and you have your own sensitivities and things that you enjoy, and vaginas don’t come with one single pre-printed instruction manual either.

What this means in practice is that there is no one perfect penis shape and size that works for every woman. You need to learn the positions, angles, rhythms and movements that feel good for every new girl you’re with. Experiment and see what works for both of you.

It doesn’t matter if you have the appendage of an adonis if you don’t know what to do with it! She’s not going to care at all what your lollipop looks like once it’s inside of her and feeling great.

The bottom line

I know I sound like a broken record, but seriously gentlemen, us ladies simply don’t care that much about what your thing looks like. We don’t have long and in-depth conversations about every little detail, and we don’t want you to worry your brains out about what it looks like either.

What we do care about is what you do with it and how it feels. Even if your girl has the tiniest bit of disappointment at first that yours isn’t a ‘grande’, she will soon forget all about it when your joystick disappears inside her and you have her cumming all over the place.