I was imploding. I felt detached from everything and everyone, being a father.

One day I imagine how absolutely frustrated she would've been to see that, and how hurt she would've been to even be associated with that sort of pain and obsession.

I found myself constantly looking for ways to include her, to give meaning to even her smallest opinions, like imagining her scolding at me for leaving a mess somewhere so that I clean it, or looking up a craft for our daughter that I knew wouldn't have come to me is a natural inclination without her.