Who would ever follow INSTRUCTIONS? That’s just another AUTHORITY FIGURE trying to tell you what to do. You know who wrote instructions?? COPS and PARENTS working together to KEEP YOU DOWN. Here’s some alternative instructions to blast through life like a lone wolf who doesn’t hang out with the other wolves because that wolf is sick of their WOLF RULES.

HOW TO MAKE A CAKE THAT DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT

1. Pull out everything from the refrigerator and put it into a giant garbage bag

2. Set the garbage bag on fire in the middle of your apartment

3. Good luck finding a cake sweeter than living in the forest

HOW TO BUILD A BIRDHOUSE THAT DISRUPTS THE SYSTEM

1. Make a beautiful, elegant birdhouse using the skills you learned in shop class from Mr. Sullivan

2. Chuck it from the top of a balcony

3. Mail the video to your old shop teacher with the message “NICE TRY, MR SULLIVAN”

HOW TO RAISE A HUMAN TO BE A RADICAL RENEGADE

1. Produce / acquire a child

2. Betray them constantly so they develop deep psychological misgivings about authority figures

3. Smile with satisfaction as they throw their first birdhouse from their forest home

And I understand if you don’t listen to me; for all you know I’m just another COP or your DAD.

wes