From the day most women become aware of their “private areas,” they’re told that they’re unclean. This leads to a lifetime of anxiety and self-consciousness about cleanliness, smell, and appearance. There are entire markets of beauty products that bank off of this insecurity. You can enter the aisles of any drugstore and find numerous options for “cleansing” your vulva and vagina: douches, feminine hygiene wipes, special washes, perfumes, and delicate soaps. Many women don’t realize that cleaning yourself with these products can actually cause numerous health problems. It can even cause vulvodynia flare-ups in more extreme cases.

Okay, so I’m obviously suggesting that these products are not the way to go.

But if I’m not supposed to be using beauty products to make sure I’m clean “down there,” then what am I supposed to be doing? I’m glad you asked!

The Real Trick to a Beautiful Pussy

No, you don’t have spend hours grooming your privates to be clean and healthy. No, you don’t have to sell your soul to the devil to obtain the “perfect vagina.” The real trick to a beautiful pussy that Cosmo will never tell you about is simple, easy, and (mostly) free: lukewarm water.

A clean, healthy pussy requires very little maintenance. You just need to let it do its thing and then wash the vulva area with lukewarm water every now and again to wash away any buildup. Most of the time, just standing in the shower is enough to give it a good wash. Can you believe that? You need little to no money and no elaborate beauty routine. All the products you’ve been told you needed since puberty are completely unnecessary. If you’re a makeup/beauty freak like me, then this should be a relief to you. Just one less thing to add to your maintenance routine!

Yes, there will be some goo in your underwear and this is all perfectly normal. Your vagina is a self-sufficient mechanism. Think of it as its own ecosystem. The vagina and vulva are flourishing with bacteria, but that doesn’t mean they’re dirty. These bacteria actually keep harmful foreign bodies from invading your vagina by creating an acidic environment that destroys bad bacteria. If you’ve gotten a yeast infection before, it’s because the yeast broke through your natural defenses and invaded to set up house in your vagina. The discharge you find in your underwear every now and again is actually meant to flush out bad bacteria and keep everything balanced. When it comes to your pussy, “clean” does not mean discharge and scent free. “Clean” means that business is running as usual. If you want to have a healthy pussy, then do yourself a favor and leave it alone.

Of course, I’m certainly not suggesting that you should never cleanse the vulva at all. After all, you certainly won’t see me performing fellatio on a guy who hasn’t washed himself in a few days — and they have even few folds and crevices to worry about than we do! The vulva does get smegma build-up. All that you need to do to get rid of this is open up the lips of your outer labia and wash some lukewarm water over the folds. You can do this in the shower without much effort. Depending on the amount of build-up you have, you probably won’t have to do this more than twice a week.

Why Scented Products Are The Devil

From day one we’re taught that any scent our body emits is foul and unnatural and should be covered up ASAP. This is especially true for our vaginal scent.

I collided with this self-consciousness head on when a guy first offered to give me oral sex. The idea of him having his face buried in my “smelly” lady parts only made me anxious. For a while, I actually avoided receiving oral sex. Of course, after reading into the subject and talking to other women, I finally realized that every woman has her own unique scent that should be embraced. It’s a reflection of your body chemistry and is as unique as your fingerprint. There is no reason to be trying to cover it up.

As I mentioned earlier in this post, beauty companies have made bank by exploiting our insecurities. Beauty companies all over the world offer a plethora of products that attempt to camouflage or eliminate vaginal scent. Not only is this completely unnatural, but it’s horrible for these gentle areas. Now I’m not trying to perpetuate some sort of hippy-dippy “all natural” agenda here. I’m simply stating fact: Using scented products in your genital area is terrible for you.

Many of the perfumes contained in scented products are extremely irritating to the delicate vulvar tissues. They contain strong ingredients such as alcohol and other chemicals that will wipe out the ecosystem between your legs. This will make your vagina a haven for bad bacteria and makes you significantly more susceptible to yeast infections and other problems, such as excessive dryness, itching, and burning.

I’ve seen articles in ladies magazines that advocate the use of gentle soaps for cleaning, but here is the thing: Even gentle soaps meant for sensitive skin are often too strong for those tissues. Even products meant for vaginal use are potential irritants (I’m looking at you scented tampons). The bottom line is that your pussy is a self-sufficient zone of your body. Keep it that way. Women around the world experience intense vulvodynia flares because of the scented products they use. Some find that once they discontinue the use of these products, vaginal dryness and pain vanishes.

Always keep in mind that while every vagina has its own distinct scent, smell can also be an indicator when something is going horribly wrong “down there.” Your vagina should never smell distinctly fishy. If your scent changes dramatically or changes from a scent to an intensely unpleasant odor, then you could have an infection or STD. Consult your GYN for immediate diagnosis and care.

Stronger smell during your period? Not to worry. This is perfectly normal. It’s actually not your vagina or the menstrual blood that causes the smell, but the increased amount of moisture. The scent might be much stronger if you leave a tampon in for too long or wear pads. Change often and shower daily to reduce the smell.

If you’re still unhappy with your own smell, then there are natural ways to change it that don’t involve putting damaging products on your delicate skin. Your diet is a large determiner for your smell and taste. Reducing your consumption of processed foods, specifically sugars, will tone down your scent. Some studies show that adding yogurt to your diet will not only make your scent a little more subtle, but will also contribute to your general vaginal health. Trimming your pubic hair decreases the amount of discharge and moisture that will be retained by your lady parts, so that’s another option. Wearing cotton underwear or going commando can also help release trapped moisture. I’ll be doing another post on that last part in the near future.

Still feeling self-conscious? You might be thinking this: If control my vaginal scent, then I will be more sexually desirable. But let’s be honest here ladies. You shouldn’t be having sex with someone who is squeamish about a perfectly natural scent anyway. If they’re squeamish about that, then imagine all the other things they’ll be squeamish about. Forget about it. Hell, how about you forget about your current/potential sex partner(s) for a minute and maintain yourself the way that is most healthy for you.

What About Shaving?

I have a love/hate relationship with shaving: In 6th grade, I became obsessed with my body hair. Why did I have so much of it? I couldn’t understand why I didn’t a look like those shiny, smooth, bikini-clad beacons of beauty laying across magazine pages. Whenever I looked at my naked body in the shower, all I could focus on was the hair and I despised it. How did I deal with this? I shaved my entire body, head to toe, several times over. I only stopped when my mother noticed the peach fuzz on my arm had mysteriously disappeared and yelled at me. “It’ll just grow back thicker!” she exclaimed (by the way, that’s an old wive’s tale, but it might grow back courser). Though I stopped shaving my entire body after that, my self-consciousness continued. When I started dating, I had the nether regions to worry about. All I knew about sex I’d gotten from porn, so shaving everything seemed like the natural thing to do. Of course, over time and with more experience I threw away this silly idea, realizing that bald wasn’t a great look for me. While I haven’t entirely cured myself of my dislike for body hair (I’m not sporting underarm hair or letting my pubes grow feral), I’m far more accepting now. I had to get more comfortable with my body, partly because of my nerve pain.

But what is the health verdict on shaving “down there?” Well, it depends on the person. It’s certainly not the worst thing you can do to your lady parts, but there are many women who should reconsider their Brazilian nether-hairdues. If you’ve found that you’re susceptible to vaginal infections, shaving your pubic hair is a bad way to go. Pubic hair is there to act as the first line of defense for your vagina against the outside world. Shaving this hair just makes you more prone to infection. If you’re a sufferer from vulvodynia, the verdict on shaving is basically a no-brainer: Keep that razor far, far away from your lady parts unless you’re a glutton for punishment. Shaving could aggravate a flare further, or trigger one if you’re currently in remission. If you’re prone to nasty in-grown hair infections, shaving your vagina is not a good bet either. If you fall into one of these categories, but are still concerned about easy cleaning during menstruation or easy access for oral sex, just stick with a nice trim. The effect will be exactly the same.

Honestly, if you’re going to stick with a full bush, now is the time to do it. The all natural pubic hair look is coming back into fashion and it’s more and more common now to see women with a little hair “down there.”

In short: Stop looking at porn stars and advertisements for advice on how to treat your lady parts. Start looking at the facts. All pussies are alike when it comes to cleanliness. The pussy between your legs can take care of itself just like the purring pussy cleaning itself on your bed. Leave it alone and let it do its thing. Give it too much attention and it will bite you.

In response to some controversy about this article, written 4/15/14: First off, I’m surprised by the negative responses this has received, especially on Reddit. I had no idea people were this opinionated about personal hygiene! It’s been fascinating to observe, to say the least. Anyway, on to my actual response.

I’ve noticed that there has been some misunderstandings, partly from lack of clarity on my part. I’m not against using soap altogether and I’m certainly not against showering. I can skip a day (at most) before I start feeling like an itchy grease ball. If soap runs over your vulva, it’s not going to burst into flames. But for many women, this can cause problems. I put this out there as a good hygiene option based on research that I’ve done and direct advice I’ve received from my GYN. Obviously, your hygiene routine will vary, particularly if you sweat a lot. Some people sweat more than others. Some people’s vulvas build up smegma faster and thicker than others. Experiment with hygiene routines and see what works for you, especially if you perspire excessively.

However, I would also take self-consciousness into account when looking at your hygiene routine. A lot of women smell perfectly fine and would keep their genitals plenty clean with just warm water, but they are so clouded by self-consciousness that they might not even realize that they really don’t need it. I’m talking about women who refuse to stop shaving and scrubbing their vulva, despite experiencing pain and being told to discontinue these routines by their doctor. They’re so afraid of being dirty that they’ll just keep on truckin’. Some people’s zealous hygiene routines emerge from low body image, while others have simply adjusted to suit their needs. Sometimes it’s a little bit of both. It’s up to you to analyze yourself and figure out what’s what. Obviously, I can’t do that for you, nor do I have the right to do so. I’m just trying to save you time and money, possibly even pain if certain cleansing products mix poorly with your body chemistry. If you don’t have to worry about negative consequences to using soap or shaving, then that’s awesome! I wish my body was the same way.

Also keep in mind that while this post is speaking to all women, it is more specifically targeted towards women with pelvic pain troubles or those prone to vulvodynia flare ups. Discontinuing any sort of cleansing products and shaving around the vulva was the first thing my pelvic pain specialist (one of the best in the country) told me to stop doing when I walked into his office.

Take it as you will. Everyone is different. This is just my opinion. I’m glad it has sparked so much discussion.