The CNE is just around the corner, which means you’re just a few days away from significantly reducing your natural life expectancy.

Not because the rides are dangerous or anything, but because of (wonderful) insanity like Timbits poutine.

Arguably the most Canadian thing since our senators spent public money on hockey tickets and fishing trips, this offense to the human digestive system is a sweet mix of Timbits and dessert toppings.

The exclusive poutines ($4) will be available in chocolate, birthday cake, Oreo, cinnamon French toast, and chocolate salted caramel flavours, while unfathomable Timbit varieties like cola and cotton candy will also be on offer.

Perhaps even more (stomach) upsetting, you’ll also have a chance to sample Tim’s limited time pretzel doughnut honey Dijon ham sandwich ($6) if you so dare.

This is why we have free healthcare.

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