Jay Parini, a poet and novelist, teaches at Middlebury College. His upcoming book is The Way of Jesus: Living a Spiritual and Ethical Life . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the author.

(CNN) One of most bizarre stories in the recent press -- and that's really saying something these days -- concerns the tackling of Senator Rand Paul on his lawn by his Kentucky neighbor, Dr. Rene Boucher, on November 3. Both men are physicians, and have been living in close proximity for 17 years.

What on earth happened?

"It was a very regrettable dispute between two neighbors over a matter that most people would regard as trivial," Boucher's attorney said, which contradicts a piece in the Washington Examiner which implies the attacker was rabidly anti-Trump and may have had a political motive for the assault.

On the other hand, Rand Paul has himself often seemed quite anti-Trump, at times almost a thorn in Trump's flesh (though the two recently played golf to patch things up). So that motive would seem, at best, confused.

According to CBS News , neighbors originally reported that "the two men had a long-running dispute over yard waste." And on Thursday Boucher's attorney, Matt Baker, told CNN that Paul has hired a personal injury attorney to file a damages claim against his neighbor. Baker directed CNN to the account of the developer who sold both men their homes and who has said the long-running conflict was over lawn maintenance.

"It was absolutely and unequivocally not about politics, not about right versus left and not about Democrat versus Republican," Baker said.

Let's assume the two neighbors don't much like each other, or this attack could never have happened. And let's also assume that trivial disputes about landscaping may have combined with political animus on the part of Boucher, and that the doctor exploded when he saw his famous neighbor blithely cutting the grass. He tackled him, breaking six ribs and damaging a lung.

It's beyond absurd.

On the other hand, from the beginning of time neighbors have exchanged nasty words that led to fistfights or worse. Trivial wars in neighborhoods become a kind of microcosm, with explanatory value. Reading about Paul and his neighbor, I kept thinking of President Trump and his childish banter about "little Rocket Man," his taunting nickname for North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, and the potential for such rhetoric to escalate -- in this case into a full-blown nuclear war that could end the lives of millions.

JUST WATCHED Attorney: Rand Paul attack was not political Replay More Videos ... MUST WATCH Attorney: Rand Paul attack was not political 02:33

The truth is, even when you profoundly disagree with people, you must treat them with respect, even when what they say or do seems beyond the pale, as with Kim (or Trump himself). The consequences of escalating fights are too real, as we have seen with Paul and his injuries.

They could lead to his missing key Senate votes on the Republican tax bill -- although, as a deficit hawk, one might assume that Paul's vote on this bill remains in question. (Paul once bemoaned that "Republicans gave up on caring about deficits long ago.")

So how does one deal with neighborly conflicts in an ethical manner?

Robert Frost's poem "Mending Wall" offers an insight into this dilemma. It's about two farmers in northern New England who once a year walk the border between their properties to repair the dry-stone wall that separates them. "Good fences make good neighbors," the one farmer says, repeating an old saying.

But do they? The narrator would seem to disagree, at least in part, as his neighbor is "like an old-stone savage." But Frost accedes to this yearly ritual, believing in the need to maintain borders, working with, not against, his "savage" neighbor.

Photos: Famous poets throughout history Photos: Famous poets throughout history Juan Felipe Herrera, son of migrant farm workers in California, has been named the next U.S. poet laureate. Herrera, 66, whose parents emigrated from Mexico, will be the nation's first Latino poet laureate since the position was created in 1936. Here's a look at some other famous poets from the 16th century to the present. Hide Caption 1 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history William Shakespeare (1564-1616) is best known for his plays, but he's not nicknamed the Bard of Avon for nothing. Shakespeare also wrote more than 150 sonnets and love poems, with such enduring lines as "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" Hide Caption 2 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history John Keats (1795-1821) was an English romantic poet whose reputation has far outlasted his brief life. He is most admired for his series of odes, most notably "Ode on a Grecian Urn," with its famous final lines: "Beauty is truth, truth beauty -- that is all / ye know on earth, and all ye need to know." Hide Caption 3 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history Englishwoman Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-61) was the wife of writer Robert Browning and an acclaimed Victorian poet in her own right. Many believe her literary reputation exceeded that of her husband. The opening lines of one of her love sonnets -- "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways" -- are still widely quoted today. Hide Caption 4 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history American poet Edgar Allan Poe (1809-49) also wrote short stories and essays and is widely credited with inventing the modern detective story. A master of dark, spooky atmosphere, he became a sensation after the 1845 publication of his narrative poem "The Raven." Hide Caption 5 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history Walt Whitman (1819-91), often called the father of free verse, was one of the most influential American poets. His landmark collection "Leaves of Grass" was considered obscene by some at the time for its overt sexuality. And that "O Captain! My Captain!" line from the end of "Dead Poets Society"? It's Whitman's. Hide Caption 6 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history Although she never traveled far from her Massachusetts home and was not well-known in her lifetime, the reclusive Emily Dickinson (1830-86) is now one of the most admired American poets. Among her best-known lines: " 'Hope' is the thing with feathers / That perches in the soul / And sings the tune without the words / And never stops -- at all ..." Hide Caption 7 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history Irish-born author and critic Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) is best known for his biting wit, plays like "The Importance of Being Earnest" and his gross indecency trial over his homosexual relationships. But he was a fine poet as well, especially early in his career. Hide Caption 8 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history The Pulitzer Prize-winning poems of Robert Frost (1874-1963) were rooted in the rural imagery of his beloved New England. His best-known poems, including "The Road Not Taken" and "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening," have inspired countless school-yearbook quotes. Hide Caption 9 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history Although born in Missouri, T.S. Eliot (1888-1965) moved as a young man to England, where he spent the rest of his life. Acclaimed for such complex, modernist masterpieces as "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" and "The Waste Land," Eliot received the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1945. Every time someone says "April is the cruelest month," they're quoting Eliot. Hide Caption 10 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history E.E. Cummings (1894-1962) was a prolific poet who was perhaps best known for his playful experiments with grammar, syntax and form. (Some of his poems contained no capital letters, and his name was often printed as e.e. cummings.) He was one of the most popular American poets of the 20th century. Hide Caption 11 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history A central figure in the Harlem Renaissance movement of the 1920s, Langston Hughes (1902-67) was a poet, novelist, playwright and social activist who championed African-American culture. He's maybe best known for his poem "A Dream Deferred," which begins, "What happens to a dream deferred? / Does it dry up / Like a raisin in the sun?" Hide Caption 12 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history Chilean poet Pablo Neruda (1904-73) wrote in a variety of styles but is probably best known for his passionate love poetry, on display in such popular collections as "Twenty Poems of Love and a Song of Despair" and the Oscar-nominated film "Il Postino." A beloved political figure in his native country, Neruda served as a diplomat and was awarded the Nobel Prize for literature in 1971. Hide Caption 13 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history One of the key figures of the Beat movement of the 1950s, Allen Ginsberg (1926-97) wrote poems that celebrated nonconformity and his counterculture leanings. His best-known work was 1956's "Howl," an epic poem that scandalized some readers and was banned for its depictions of homosexual sex. Its publisher was even jailed, although a judge later ruled the poem was not obscene. Hide Caption 14 of 15 Photos: Famous poets throughout history The multitalented Maya Angelou was a poet, actress, dancer, essayist, civil rights activist and filmmaker. She first made her mark with a 1969 memoir, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings," which became a bestseller. Angelou's popularity spiked again in 1993, when she read her new poem, "On the Pulse of Morning," at President Clinton's inaugural ceremony. She died in May 2014 at the age of 86. Hide Caption 15 of 15

There is a mighty wisdom here, one that can inform local and international politics.

Good etiquette means keeping your neighbors closely informed about your doings. It means keeping up the conversation, so that misunderstandings are kept to a minimum. What works on a small scale works on a large scale. To prevent violence, which, given the predilections of this species, is always a serious threat, we must engage in what I would call "daily diplomacy." Real conversation is our only way through, and conversation means listening as well as talking.

Tackling our neighbors, even if they are politically noxious to us, even if they let their dead leaves blow onto our property, is surely out of the question.