PHOTOGRAPH BY SAUL LOEB / AFP / GETTY

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an appearance on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” on Sunday, former Vice-President Dick Cheney told host Chuck Todd that he was “sick and tired of Americans being ashamed of our beautiful legacy of torture” and that he was organizing the first “National Torture-Pride March” to take place in Washington in January.

“This is a chance for all of us torturers to say, ‘Look at us, this is who we are,’” Cheney, who will be the Grand Marshall of the parade, said.

The former Vice-President said that he was organizing the march to inspire “the millions of American kids who want to be torturers when they grow up but are afraid they’ll catch hell for it.”

“We’ll be there to say, ‘We’re torturers and we’re damn proud of it—join us,’” Cheney said.

Get news satire from The Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox.