Just say no to Nazi sex

By David Futrelle

Andrew Anglin of the Daily Stormer is giving out sex tips now, and they are pretty dire. He begins a recent lengthy disquisition on the subject by informing his male readers that, no, women can’t be good at sex — and that as far as he’s concerned the very notion of “good sex” is “absolute boomer tripe.”

It only gets worse from there.

I hear men talking about how “good in bed” a woman is and I’m like “wow so I guess she was really squirming around a lot, huh?”

Hey, squirming is good.

The only measure of “good” or “bad” sex is the physical fitness of the couple – much more so the man, because he is going to be the one exerting 95% of the energy.

Uh, what about, say, those positions in which the woman is doing the most work?

This modern “woman on top” style sex is just a disgusting porno myth and actually you can basically never get proper motions in that position.

I think a lot of people are going to have to disagree with you on this one, bub.

More importantly, having a woman “in control” on top of you like that is vile and degrading. No man should ever subject himself to being underneath a woman during the act of copulation. It’s virtually on the level of cunnilingus, and at that point, you might as well just let her peg you with a strap-on. … Allowing a woman to “take the reins” by being on top is humiliating and emasculating. It basically creates a situation where you are the woman. Women don’t respect this.

Apparently there’s only one proper kind of sex, in Anglin’s world, and — somewhat surprisingly — it isn’t missionary position.

The ideal and appropriate position is to have her on all fours, and to enter from behind.

At least that way you don’t have to see the disappointed look in her face, I guess.

This is also the natural position of human mating, given that beds did not used to exist.

Huh? You can fuck all sorts of ways without a bed. Nazis have such severely limited imaginations.

As you have probably noticed, Anglin doesn’t seem much interested in women’s pleasure — and in fact he thinks the more a man pays attention to what his partner wants, the worse it will be for both of them. Anglin suggests, rather, that everyone will be the happiest if the man is completely selfish.

If you are exclusively concerned about your own enjoyment, this will lead to her having a higher opinion of you, because you aren’t acting like her servant. … [M]en should never, ever stoop to thinking about how much a woman enjoys sex. If you do that, you are like some pathetic little dog. No woman respects that.

The only way straight women will ever be fully satisfied, Anglin asserts, is if their partners start slapping them around. You see, he’s under the impression that all women secretly (or not-so-secretly) want all sex to be rough sex with a lot of slapping and choking and name-calling.

Here’s the truth about what is considered “good sex” for a woman: every single woman just wants to be slapped and choked during sex. That is what women crave more than anything. That is what she will compliment you on, that is what will make her obsessed with you and keep texting you compulsively afterward.

Well, sure, some women are into this, just as some guys are. People are into all sorts of things. Some like rough sex, some like gentle sex, some like sex in which both partners are dressed like sexy pokemons. The key thing is to be on the same page with your partner. Going into a sexual encounter with a new partner assuming that every women is into choking and slapping is a recipe for disaster.

I’ve even heard tell that literal hookers will ask you to choke them, if you’re a muscly and aloof young guy, and they want to use the opportunity of you paying them for sex to act out their own sex fantasies on you in-between business sessions with old men.

I’m pretty sure sex workers are mostly interested in getting the sex over with as efficiently and safely as possible, even when their clients are “muscly and aloof young guys.” Choking is dangerous to begin with; having some stranger do it to you is risky in the extreme.

Not that he’s advocating giving in to women’s “vile” and “debased” desires.

Just so you understand: I am not encouraging anyone to do these sick BDSM type acts with a woman, ever. She will enjoy it, but you will feel dirty afterward, and that may stay with you for a long time.

Nah.. It’s reading the Daily Stormer that makes me feel dirty for a long, long time.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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