Hello and welcome to the second installment of Josephine Simpleton’s complicated and rushed legacy! I’m catching up slowly to where I am in-game, so updates may be rocky at first. At any rate, this is Josey, apparently driving a Vespa AND a sloppy jalopy at the same time! Bravo, Josey!

Josey: It’s hard bein’ thug.

Yeah. Okay.

This bitch needs Josey to run around like a chicken with its head cut off over some ancient relic, which I deduce to be a baseball. Spoiler alert: It’s a baseball.

French Lady: But I NEED zat baseball! For eet ees ze only zing I have ov’my late huband!

Yeah, yeah, whatever. I need visa points anyway. Crazy hag.

Josey: Oh, this looks inviting. And not at all threatening.

Go for it! Shoot for the stars!

Lots of this. It gets old, pretty fast.

Josey got tired and I didn’t want her to pass out, so I just kind of gave up on the adventure and went back to base camp. Besides, I kind of wanted to go to France to find a husband, not to adventure.

All I found was a bunch of bitchy locals.

Local: I don’t like you.

Josey: Thanks for the sentiment.

Local: I wish I was the founder of a legacy…

Josey ran into these two fine, upstanding citizens. She got to know both, but found that the one wearing that ridiculous beret was much more in tune with her than the other. His name? Yves. Nope, that’s not a typo. Yves. Can anybody please tell me how to pronounce that? Because it’s driving me batty.

Yves: You heard the Almighty Creator. Scram, Randolf! This one’s mine!

Randolf: :I

Believe it or not, they got along smashingly, despite having no traits in common. I SMELL MARRIAGE.

Sadly, her trip ended abruptly when I realized I had spent all my time looking around France instead of actually doing stuff. Man, do I love the architecture!

By the way, if anybody’s curious, I made her housing situation a lot more bearable.

Obligatory “The dog is somehow still alive after not being fed or given attention in 3 days” shot.

Oh, well look who it is. Yves, who I’m going to just conveniently call Ves, because that Y is very distracting.

Josey put The Moves on him and immediately things were heating up. He was quite a bit younger than her, but neither her nor I care.

Josey: I just met you.

Josey: And this is crazy

Ves: Oh, honey, what are you doing?

Josey: Flirt, flirt, amorous hug, massage —

Josey: Marry me, maybe?

Ves: That’s so sweet…

Ves: But I’ll be damned if someone proposes to me using the “call me maybe” jingle.

Josey: But I was just trying to be witty!

Ves: Well, it didn’t work.

Josey: Well… Do you at least want to move in?

Ves: Oh yeah! Sure! I’d love that!

Josey: -___-

Ves brought in 5,000$! Thanks Ves!

Needless to say the only reasons why I bothered moving him in first was 1. To get him to stay in this area, 2. To get money and 3. For him to propose to her.

IT WORKED!

He’s an insane natural cook (bad combo) with an emotional side, and has pretty shitty luck. Oh, and he’s really childish too!

His LTW is to have a bottomless nectar cellar, which I’m not sure whether or not I’d like to keep and work on. I may change it. Any opinions?

Awh, she looks so happy with Ves.

We’re gonna end it right here!

What will Ves and Josey Simpleton do now? Procreate? Work on their LTW?

Also:

Uuuuuh… I didn’t realize that this was possible to have in-game…

Anyway! See you guys next time!