The army and the police could have prevented the death of a 24-year-old woman who was murdered by a jealous and controlling soldier, her family have said.

Alice Ruggles had contacted police about Trimaan Dhillon’s stalking in the days before he broke into her Gateshead home and repeatedly cut her throat in October 2016.

A Northumbria police officer contacted Dhillon’s barracks in Edinburgh and spoke to a superior of the soldier, who had a history of offending against ex-partners, but the Royal Military Police and Police Scotland were not informed.

Dhillon, then 26, ignored a warning to stop contacting her and eventually drove 120 miles to Gateshead, where he murdered the popular Sky employee in an “act of utter barbarism”.

Dhillon, a lance corporal at the time who trained with the Special Reconnaissance Regiment, was jailed for life with a minimum term of 22 years after a trial at Newcastle crown court.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Trimaan Dhillon. Photograph: Northumbria police/PA

In a domestic homicide review published by Gateshead council on Tuesday, Ms Ruggles’ family said they believed the police and army could have done more to protect her.

Her parents, Sue Hills and Clive Ruggles, said: “We believe that her death was preventable. We find it difficult to comprehend that, although Alice described in her first phone call to the police that she was being stalked and provided ample evidence, the police and the army were unable to support and protect her.”

Her sister, Emma, a serving soldier, said she was frustrated by the army’s response to the murder.

She said she had had no contact from Dhillon’s unit, no response to questions she asked of the military police, and no sense that lessons had been learned. She could not believe the army was unaware of Dhillon’s history of offending against ex-partners, because he was serving at the time of the incidents.

“Similar situations need to be taken far more seriously in the future by both the police and the army,” she said. “Failure to do so would show a blatant lack of regard for my sister, the nightmare she lived in her last few months and the sustained, painful, violent last few minutes of her life.”

The domestic homicide review made 20 recommendations for action by local authorities, the Home Office and the Ministry of Defence. One of its recommendations is that it be made an offence to threaten to release intimate photos of a former partner, as Dhillon did after Ms Ruggles ended their relationship.

In a second call to police after Dhillon’s stalking continued, a call handler asked the Northumbria University graduate if she wanted him to be arrested. She declined, and no action was taken.

Dr Hills said her daughter was particularly hurt by that reaction because it left her feeling as though “she was on her own, that she had to deal with it herself”.

The homicide review found the arrest decision should have been made by the police, not left to the victim.

Two officers were disciplined last year following an investigation into the force’s handling of the case by the Independent Office for Police Conduct.

Northumbria police’s assistant chief constable, Rachel Bacon, said changes had been made nationally regarding the response to stalking and harassment as a result of this case.

“With the help of Alice’s family, we are now leading the way in training officers in the best way to deal with these types of offences, with their input vital in developing a video which is now also used by other forces and partners,” Bacon said.

“Their continued determination to change the law to better protect victims of stalking is commendable.”