I hate this column.

It is incomplete and yet I loathe it, despise it, detest it. I feel as though I’ll have to wash my hands when I’m finished.

Because the mere idea of it makes me sick. Because, as were my parents, I’m as San Diego as San Diego can be – as an infant, toddler, child, teenager, young adult, adult and senior citizen. The only significant amount of time I’ve spent away from here was my time in the Army.

San Diego drives me nuts. There have been too many showers of bad decisions sprayed by spineless politicians, the ham-and-eggers, who until now, when it may be too late, have lacked vision, big-time wannabes wearing clothes bought on consignment.


It grew up too soon, tried to walk before it could crawl, and never found its legs. It is strong in some ways, but weak where it matters most. It has trouble standing up.

But, for all its flaws, I will defend it to my dying rattle. I’ve been to every great town in this country, my business has taken me to marvelous foreign ports, but it’s always been a thrill to come back.

This is my home. That’s why. It is not a place one leaves when one doesn’t have to leave.

And so is it the home of the SAN DIEGO Chargers. It has been since 1961, when Barron Hilton moved his AFL franchise here after finding his football team unloved in Los Angeles (as it may be discovered to be again soon). And they don’t have to leave, either.


This is a destination – not extrication – city.

Nevertheless, for short-reaching reasons that stop at the almighty dollar – and too many City Hall blunders to fit in this newspaper – when the Chargers host the Miami Dolphins Sunday in dilapidated Qualcomm Stadium, it could be their final try here as San Diego’s NFL franchise.

And if this is so, if they really go through with this crazy idea of moving back to L.A., it will be one of the darkest days in the history of San Diego. Because we will be losing a huge chunk of our cornerstone.

The three most important things to happen to this town have been the Navy, UCSD and the Chargers. It may be easy for someone who wasn’t here before the Chargers arrived, or those who don’t give a hoot if they vamoose, to wonder how I can lump a football team in with the other two.


Simple. The Chargers made us major league. The Chargers meant we finally had made it.

Before the Chargers, there was San Diego High, the minor league Padres and San Diego State, which wasn’t very good at anything.

Maybe if they do leave, we will realize what we lost. Because it will be devastating. We are not going to be the same. We are going to be a city that lost an NFL franchise. There are but 32 of them on earth.

I know L.A. well enough. It lost its two NFL teams 20 years ago and hasn’t missed either. We will miss them. San Diego is not Los Angeles, never has wanted to be, and that area has gotten along just fine with its Dodgers, Angels, Kings, Ducks, Lakers, Clippers, USC, UCLA and tinsel.


There’s a reason why L.A., the nation’s second largest city and market, lost the NFL. Angelinos didn’t care enough about the Rams and Raiders, let alone the 1960 Chargers, and there is some naiveté involved to think these people with so many other avenues of entertainment are going to buy into $500 million worth of private seat licenses to help pay for a new stadium.

At the present time, the Chargers, Raiders and Rams could not be more unattractive, and among the three, the Bolts have no ties to L.A. Maybe the franchise will be worth more there. Big deal. If you aren’t selling, what does it matter?

Still, I hate to say Sunday’s going to be sad because we don’t know for certain what’s going to happen. This L.A. thing is going to get contentious – possibly litigious – because to say The League is just going to stick a team in there for drill is asinine.

From my dad taking me to their first game in Balboa Stadium, some of my greatest memories revolve around the Chargers – not just as a sportswriter, but as a San Diegan. The triumphs, the disappointments, the great games, the Super Bowl, the Hall of Fame players.


This can’t be their last game here, can it? I hate this column.

sezme.godfather@gmail.com Twitter: @sdutCanepa