Oh, Charlie Crist. Thanks for bringing the church back into politics. Or thanks for letting it keep its grubby mitts in everything. But hey, we love the Jesus license plate, too! His pecs are so defined and his skin surprisingly supple-looking after being on the cross so long. He really was the king of kings!

That’s right. We at SCFOM think believe good ol’ Charlie doesn’t really want to support an unconstitutional Jesus license plate. Nah! He’s into guys! The license plate is just a cover!

In order to advance the gay Republican agenda, Charlie, we suggest license plates featuring the following people icons that you can likewise pass off as the will of the people:

Divine

Judy

Joan

Brando

Madonna

And, of course, Cher.

We know these icons are a little mainstream. But if Charlie’s going to come out, he needs mainstream gay, not fringe gay. So help us help Charlie, and support the Jesus plate!