A set of emails that implicates DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz in a concerted effort to undermine Senator Bernie Sanders is rocking the Democrats on the eve of their convention. But Hillary Clinton is determined not to let anything derail her Presidential campaign at this juncture, including doing whatever it takes to prevent Sanders supporters failing to turn up for her come November.

Though Sanders has already endorsed Clinton there is concern that his highly passionate young supporters – who were already struggling to reconcile themselves to supporting Clinton – would balk at supporting her given the latest revelations. Clinton sent her operatives to find out what it would take to appease them with instructions that nothing was off the table.

Wasserman reportedly phoned Clinton to inform her that she would be stepping down after the Democratic convention, but was told it would not be necessary as they had already decided to bring her tenure to an end by burning her alive onstage on the second night. Clinton impressed on the condemned DNC Chair that it was not her preference, but if that’s what the Bernie-ites needed to get onboard then by god they were going to get it. Clinton added that it would be during a prime-time slot.

Since Wassermann Schultz had already sent out a statement saying she would step down after opening and closing the Convention, the Hillary campaign is expected to shortly release a statement clarifying that though Wasserman Schultz will still be opening the convention, she will be unable to close it due to her being a charred mass of bones and the lingering stench of burning flesh and permed hair by that time.