Pos-i-lute-ly Rape-a-cious

(3.23/10)

by Peartree

(book assigned by Beau Dashington)

Editor’s note: Who knew that in the 1950s, there were graphic novels about broads sadistically molestering hoodlums? Its kind of progressive in a weird way. Or is it just fucked up? I honestly don’t know.

Ah Bonnie and Clyde, America’s sweetheart outlaws. I sure do like them folk. Robbing banks, killing cops, smoking cigars, that’s the bee’s knees if you ask me. They really stuck it to the man. Didn’t put up with no shit from nobody. But now that I’ve seen this picture story of Bonnie and Clara, I tell ya, Clara was some feisty bearcat. Eric Stanton draws some wild stuff. Some wild, sexy stuff.

Clyde dies see, and Bonnie’s a dame so she don’t know nuttin’ and gives all their dough to some lawyering guy named of Douglas. That’s right, that lame broad gives 400,000 clams to some flat tire dweeb. I couldn’t believe it, but Clara hears about all this and isn’t going to be left holding the bag. Oh no. She’s got a plan and spells it out to Bonnie real easy like so the dumb dora don’t forget.

She’s a choice bit of calico but she’s firing on all sixes.

Once Bonnie got the gist of the plan Clara got some sexy times from her and then sent her out. Even though Bonnie’s on the lam she goes on a date with Douglas and they go out to some real ritz joint and starts necking on ‘im. This gets Douglas all hot and they go back home to make whoopee. But Clara ain’t letting some palooka get any from her sheba and busts in, gun in hand and sexy outfit ready.

Douglas tries to get all hard-boiled but Clara ain’t having it and ties him up. He makes a bunch of excuses, chewing gum and won’t give up the kale but again Clara don’t take no wooden nickels, though see, and paints a target on his ass. This ain’t no hatch job, she brought paint and some goddamned darts with her.

He keeps whining but that only gets Clara going. And when she gets going, ain’t nothing gonna stop her short of a bullmoose.

This gets Douglas yapping and he writes a bunch of checks, not just for the loot but for all he’s worth too, Clara is posilutely rapacious, but even then she ain’t done yet. She gets a wine bottle and gives Douglas the ol’ in-out for a bit, then makes him get all dolled up and do some cleaning.



Clara finally gets tired of the sap and pulls the scissors out, kicks him to the curb where he’s put in the slammer for indecency and that’s about that.



There are some fellas who are gonna see this and get in a lather, but they ain’t gotta cast a kitten. Nothing but good fun… and rape. Which is not fun. Some folk enjoy fantasizing about that kinda thing, and that ain’t my beeswax, but this story is about Clara. She doesn’t accept the complacent role society gave her. That’s horsefeathers. The middle aisle marriage and kids don’t fly with her. She breaks out and does things her way. And who can’t respect some aspect of that? If you overlook the rest of the story that is…

Peartree