Fox News Hires First Flat Lady Correspondent

Fox News introduced it's first flat female correspondent on the air today, a landmark move for the cable network known for its beautiful, voluptuous women as much as its conservative platform.

Jaden Hoffman, 31, a former Ms. New Hampshire and aerobics instructor with measurements of 34", 24", 34", is a, "B-cup, max," her new male colleagues estimate.

"She's a real handful, let me tell you," Fox and Friends Weekend co-host Pete Hegseth remarked. "But that's it."

"Seriously though, its wonderful. I'm all for it," Hegseth went on, chuckling. "Hoffman may be no Neil Armstrong, but she just might be our Jackie Robinson."

Meanwhile, despite her possible physical shortcomings, Hoffman scored highly in her inaugural episode on Fox and Friends Weekend Saturday.

"Who here is tired of disabled people?" she asked during a conversation about a proposed global cap and trade plan on carbon emissions. "I realize its a little off topic, but I swear, if liberals believed in evolution as much as they say, we should be gassing these freaks like it was 1945."

Hoffman later went on to claim that the Chinese invented climate change in order to, "Get us to all buy one of their 'faggy' Priuses," and called former president Jimmy Carter 'gay'.