Magic Story Abridged: Invasive Species

(Episode 8, Battle for Zendikar Episode 2; Original Stories HERE, HERE, and HERE)





Art by Adame Minguez



RAVNICA

Liliana, muttering to herself: I can’t believe him. Running off on some wild adventure and just ditching me like that. I had adventures planned. Better adventures. With wine and dancing and demon slaying.

Raven, a bird: You could have just asked him for help, you know.

Liliana: Well, I certainly didn’t ask you, so can it.

Raven: Yes, of course. Ignore the advice of the one person who has consistently been right for your entire life.

Liliana: The fact that you’ve been following me, across planes, for my entire life tells me something is seriously wrong with your decision making skills.

Raven: No worse than yours, I promise. I’m not the one ruining their chances with someone they love.

Liliana: I… what?! I don’t love him!

Raven, a man, with a book: No? Then allow me to read an excerpt from your diary. Ahem. “Mrs. Liliana Beleren. Mrs. Liliana Beleren. Lady Liliana Beleren. Guildpactess Liliana Beleren. Mrs. Liliana Beleren-Vess. Mr. Jace Vess.” It literally goes on like this for three pages.

Liliana: Give that back! What do you know, anyway? You’re a bird.

Raven Man: I know you destroy everyone and everything you’ve ever come into contact with, and that you’re going to destroy a great many more things in the future.

Liliana: I can think of one thing I haven’t destroyed yet that I’d really like to… (Liliana pulls out the Chain Veil)

Raven Man: We’re doing this again? It’s just going to be the same as every time before.

Liliana: Before, I didn’t have the veil!

(Liliana unleashes ultimate dark magic, blasting the Raven Man. He explodes into a burst of dead birds.)





Art by Adame Minguez

Raven, a bird, right behind her: Ooh, nice shot.

Liliana, glowing purple, but turning red: Just die already!

(Liliana blasts the Raven. It immediately ages into dust)

Raven, a different bird, perched nearby: That’s some pretty impressive power you’ve got there.

Liliana, glowing brighter: Just SHUT UP!

(Liliana unleashes torrent of deadly energy, killing everything within a hundred feet. Dozens of Ravens fall down dead.)

Liliana, bleeding from her tattoos: Is it done? Are you gone? Can I finally just handle this myself?!?

(Silence)

Liliana: Good… good… Okay, that’s been a day. Now, to head back to Innistrad, get washed up, and get some sleep. Razaketh and Belzenlok won’t murder themselves.

Raven, a different bird, flying overhead: Great! Meet you there!

Liliana: SONOFA-





Art by John Avon







Art by Wesley Burt



ZENDIKAR

(Cut to Nissa Revane, now an adult, but who really knows what that means for elves? Maybe she’s twenty five, maybe she’s fifty. She’s probably not over a hundred, but who can say? With her is the Soul of Zendikar, now regularly taking on the form of a wood elemental that everyone can see, but not understand)

Nissa: I’m really not sure we can win this.

Zendikar: We win a lot! We just smushed two eldrazi at once! I am the best at eldrazi smushing.

Nissa: I meant long-term, though.

Zendikar: Oh… yeah. They are sort of sucking all the life out of everything they touch and leaving nothing but wastes lands.

Nissa: You mean wastelands?

Zendikar: Pfft. I wish. Look, we just gotta… keep hitting them. A lot. Until we’ve smushed them all. All one million forty two thousand of them.

Nissa: They keep spawning, though.

Zendikar: What if we hit them really, really fast?





Art by Igor Kieryluk



Surprise vampire!: Special delivery for Nissa Revane!

Nissa: Vampire! … Why do you know me?

Zendikar: A vampire! Kill it dead!

Nissa: You have ten seconds to talk before I kill you dead.

Vampire: Anowon sent me to find you, or any other planeswalker. We need you to save Zendikar!

Nissa: …I’m listening.

Vampire, pulling out a bag: Behold… SEEDS! Now, when the eldrazi eat this world you can put all these seeds somewhere else and build a new Zendikar.

Nissa: I…

Zendikar: That’s stupid!

Nissa: Excuse me?

Zendikar: That’s a plan so stupid only a vampire could think it up. Saving the babies is a great idea, but do you know what happens when you introduce alien plants somewhere?

Nissa: The same things that happen when you introduce eldrazi or vampires?

Zendikar: Basically! You can’t give these babies a good home without taking away something else’s.

Nissa: And of course I can’t do that… And I can’t leave here anyway. This is my fault. I need to help clean it up.

Vampire: Excuse me, who are you talking to?

Nissa: Zendikar.

Vampire: Zendikar?

Nissa: The wood elemental right here?





Art by Raymond Swanland



Vampire: You call your elemental Zendikar?

Nissa: Is that… bad?

Vampire: It’s certainly… odd.

Nissa: Well, how about… Ashaya?

Vampire: That’s just Elven for Zendikar!

Nissa: It’s Elven for World, thank you very much! Now, give me those! (Nissa grabs the seeds) I’m going to figure out how to save Zendikar, I’m going to plant these seeds where they belong, and I’m going to call my elemental Ashaya whether you like it or not!

Vampire: Fine. You’ve got your seeds. What you do with them is up to you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go drown myself in alcohol until the world ends.

Nissa: Vampires drink booze?

Vampire: …I’m going to go drown myself in alcoholics until the world ends. (Vampire wanders off.)





Art by Franz Vohwinkel



REGATHA

KERAL KEEP

(Knock, Knock, Knock)

Monk: (Opens the door) Can I help you?

Jace: Can Chandra come out and play?

Monk: …You again. I’ll get her. (Monk goes inside, acquires Chandra)

Chandra: The finks do you want?

Gideon: Hello, Chandra. It’s good to see you.

Chandra: Oh, joy, both of you are here. I really hope you’re not starting a ‘people who seriously messed with Chandra’s life’ club, because I’m just starting to have a good thing going now.

Gideon: Zendikar’s in trouble. We need your help.

Chandra: Well, I can’t go. I have classes.

Jace: You’re getting an education?

Chandra: What? No! I’m a professor.

Jace: …

Gideon: People are dying in large numbers. We need all the powerful planeswalkers we can get.

Jace: And besides, you and I are partially responsible for this. We did get into a fight around an ancient and dangerous artifact.

Chandra: Oh, we’re talking about things I’m responsible for now?

Gideon: Shouldn’t have said that…





Art by Eric Deschamps



Chandra: I’m responsible for my students! I’m responsible for this school! I’m responsible for teaching dozens of young pyromancers how to control their power and learn the ancient wisdom of Jaya Ballard when the only thing I remember of her teachings is “That’s a lot of nuggets,” and I don’t even think that one’s canon! And why? Because the abbot said so and then died before even asking me about it! So you go, you go be responsible for an apocalypse that wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t snuck into my house, stole my stolen scroll, and threatened a child, and I’m going to stay right the fylgja here!

(DOOR SLAM)

Gideon: We’ll be at Sea Gate if you change your mind!

Jace: And yet, that still went better than I expected.

