Hey, media. So, I heard Donald Trump broke up with you. Stings a little, doesn't it? Finally thought you'd met your match: a blabbermouth who's as thin-skinned and narcissistic as you are. Well, now it's over. Well, good riddance, I say! Kick. Him. To. The. Curb.

It is time for you to get your groove back, media. 'Cause let's face facts: You kinda let yourself go a little bit for these past few years. Put on a few pundits. Obsessing 24 hours a day, seven days a week about this one guy ...

Here is my point: This breakup with Donald Trump has given you, the media, an amazing opportunity for self-reflection and improvement. Instead of worrying about whether Trump is un-American, or if he thinks you're the enemy or if he's being mean to you, or if he's going to let you go back into the briefings, do something for yourself. Self-improvement. Take up a hobby. I recommend journalism.