(A Personal Story of Humiliation Which Taught Me How To Stick Up For Myself)

It’s not often we can say what I’m about to say out loud — but truth is some parents are just unappreciative assholes.

Today, I’d like to share to a humiliating story from my past (back when I was in my second year as a private tutor). I hadn’t the self-esteem or understanding of myself as I do today — and I subsequently allowed myself to be treated like a piece of dirt.

I hope it serves useful to all those in the education sphere.

The Story of The Biggest Asshole of a Parent I Ever Worked With

For the purpose of the story let’s call the dad John, and the son Paul (not real names).

John had read my advert online and called me to tutor his son Paul. We spoke, came to an agreement and I started tutoring Paul on a weekly basis.

First lesson was relaxed, but I set Paul a piece of homework after the second lesson.

Paul came to the next lesson and hadn’t done the homework. Sadly that’s normal with students, but I explained I’d have to inform his dad. Later that evening I called John to update him on Paul’s progress and mentioned he hadn’t done his homework.

The reply startled me. John said something along the lines of:

“That’s unacceptable. It’s your job to motivate him. What’s wrong with you — are you an amateur or something?”

Wow. Just wow.

Naturally I thought it was ridiculous of him to say this. But I didn’t want to lose them as clients. Paul was a decent kid, and I’ll be honest, I wanted the money from the lessons.

That’s when I did something which I look back with disgust…

I apologised!

That’s right my desperation to keep him happy won me over. I knew I wasn’t at fault, yet I took the blame, and tried to reassure him that I’d be more proactive in making sure Paul did the homework.

To this day I feel furious at myself for apologising

After the next lesson Paul had a test at school. In his previous test he had scored 55%. In this one he scored 52%.

John rang me later that day and said:

“Why has Paul’s score gone down? I’m shelling out good money for one-to-one tuition for him and his score is going down. Go on… explain that?”

I tried to reason with him and explain that he’s only had 4 lessons, and that it’s perfectly normal for scores to fluctuate — especially 3%.

He wasn’t happy with the explanation, and told me to “sort my act out, and do my job better”.

I came off that call seething with rage. He had been completely unreasonable, and talked to me like I was an idiot… But what really hurt was the fact I had let him. I felt angry and disappointed at myself.

Finally… I Grow Some Balls!

John called me again after the next lesson. This time he said:

“I’m calling to see what you’re doing differently. I want to be certain his score’s going to improve, and if I leave you to your own way that’s clearly not going to happen. So tell me…what are doing to make sure that happens “Mr Tutor”?

The nerve of this asshole. I couldn’t believe it. I opened my mouth and spoke without thinking:

“John, I won’t be spoken to like that. I’m not going to tutor Paul anymore. If you’d like your money back that’s not a problem. But this is over”.

I hadn’t planned to say it. It just came out in the moment. I was ready and waiting for a backlash.

It didn’t come.

To my bewilderment John began to apologise (sheepishly). He said how in fact Paul really enjoyed the tuition and how he was simply curious — and that I had misunderstood him.

I had none of it. I didn’t care anymore, I decided I didn’t want to deal with him anymore. He pleaded for a while but I stood firm and ended the call.

I was shaking when I got off the call. I couldn’t believe what had happened. I stood up for myself. I had lost a client — and therefore some income — but I felt this weird feeling all through my body. It felt warm and strong. I felt proud of myself!

From that point on I promised myself I would never be spoken to with anything less than full respect. It meant I had to work harder to find a reliable system to finding more students but that’s just what I did. And I’ve been happier ever since.

Why Most Teachers are Forced Putting up With Idiot Parents (and what to do about it)

There’s a few.

The first is that most teachers-turned-tutors find it difficult to secure the number of students they’d like. I’m talking the point where they’d actively turn down another student.

The problem is that unless you reach this point, you’ll always have a seed of desperation inside.

That also happens to be why so many teachers put up with it — because their job as their teacher is their only source on income — and they live in perpetual fear of being fired if some idiot parent gets antsy.

What it means is that unless you reach some level of financial security you’ll be willing to put up with idiots which you wouldn’t otherwise.

Never do this. Not only will be you treated like a piece of shit, but you’ll hate yourself for it. Nothing is worth that.