The C program source (written by Brian Westley aka Merlyn LeRoy):

a(X){/*/X=- a(X){/*/X=- -1;F;X=- -1;F;X=- -1;F;}/*/ -1;F;}/*/ char*z[]={"char*z[]={","a(X){/*/X=-","-1;F;X=-","-1;F;}/*/","9999999999 :-| ", "int q,i,j,k,X,O=0,H;S(x)int*x;{X+=X;O+=O;*x+1?*x+2||X++:O++;*x=1;}L(n){for(*", "z[i=1]=n+97;i<4;i++)M(256),s(i),M(128),s(i),M(64),N;X*=8;O*=8;}s(R){char*r=z", "[R];for(q&&Q;*r;)P(*r++);q&&(Q,P(44));}M(m){P(9);i-2||P(X&m?88:O&m?48:32);P(", "9);}y(A){for(j=8;j;)~A&w[--j]||(q=0);}e(W,Z){for(i-=i*q;i<9&&q;)y(W|(1<<i++&", "~Z));}R(){for(k=J[*J-48]-40;k;)e(w[k--],X|O);}main(u,v)char**v;{a(q=1);b(1);", "c(1);*J=--u?O?*J:*v[1]:53;X|=u<<57-*v[u];y(X);K=40+q;q?e(O,X),q&&(K='|'),e(X", ",O),R(),O|=1<<--i:J[*J-48+(X=O=0)]--;L(q=0);for(s(i=0);q=i<12;)s(i++),i>4&&N", ";s(q=12);P(48);P('}');P(59);N;q=0;L(1);for(i=5;i<13;)s(i++),N;L(2);}",0}; b(X){/*/X=- b(X){/*/X=- -1;F;X=- -1;F;X=- -1;F;}/*/ -1;F;}/*/ int q,i,j,k,X,O=0,H;S(x)int*x;{X+=X;O+=O;*x+1?*x+2||X++:O++;*x=1;}L(n){for(* z[i=1]=n+97;i<4;i++)M(256),s(i),M(128),s(i),M(64),N;X*=8;O*=8;}s(R){char*r=z [R];for(q&&Q;*r;)P(*r++);q&&(Q,P(44));}M(m){P(9);i-2||P(X&m?88:O&m?48:32);P( 9);}y(A){for(j=8;j;)~A&w[--j]||(q=0);}e(W,Z){for(i-=i*q;i<9&&q;)y(W|(1<<i++& ~Z));}R(){for(k=J[*J-48]-40;k;)e(w[k--],X|O);}main(u,v)char**v;{a(q=1);b(1); c(1);*J=--u?O?*J:*v[1]:53;X|=u<<57-*v[u];y(X);K=40+q;q?e(O,X),q&&(K='|'),e(X ,O),R(),O|=1<<--i:J[*J-48+(X=O=0)]--;L(q=0);for(s(i=0);q=i<12;)s(i++),i>4&&N ;s(q=12);P(48);P('}');P(59);N;q=0;L(1);for(i=5;i<13;)s(i++),N;L(2);} c(X){/*/X=- c(X){/*/X=- -1;F;X=- -1;F;X=- -1;F;}/*/ -1;F;}/*/

This program plays tic-tac-toe. Did you guess that already? Well, you couldn't guess how bizarre a tic-tac-toe game can be until you've seen this program! It plays tic-tac-toe on itself. The code is written as a tic-tac-toe grid; moves are carried out within the cource code. As if that weren't enough, this program gets better over time as it plays, by producing improved copies of its own source code!

This initial compile line is:

cc -DP=putchar -DN="P(10)" -DQ="P(34)" -DF="S(&X)" -DJ="z[4]" -DK="J[14]" \ -DH="w[]={146,7,292,73,448,56,84,273,325,297,108,324,22,40,48,40,17,325}" \ westley.c -o westley

The program, when run, reproduces itself with both the player's move (X) and the computer's move (0) added. Recompile this program (using the same compile line) and repeat until the game is finished.

As an example, in response to " westley 3 ", the program prints:

a(X){/*/X=- a(X){/*/X=- -1;F;X=- -1;F;X=- X -1;F;}/*/ -1;F;}/*/ char*z[]={"char*z[]={","a(X){/*/X=-","-1;F;X=-","-1;F;}/*/","3999999999 :-| ", "int q,i,j,k,X,O=0,H;S(x)int*x;{X+=X;O+=O;*x+1?*x+2||X++:O++;*x=1;}L(n){for(*", "z[i=1]=n+97;i<4;i++)M(256),s(i),M(128),s(i),M(64),N;X*=8;O*=8;}s(R){char*r=z", "[R];for(q&&Q;*r;)P(*r++);q&&(Q,P(44));}M(m){P(9);i-2||P(X&m?88:O&m?48:32);P(", "9);}y(A){for(j=8;j;)~A&w[--j]||(q=0);}e(W,Z){for(i-=i*q;i<9&&q;)y(W|(1<<i++&", "~Z));}R(){for(k=J[*J-48]-40;k;)e(w[k--],X|O);}main(u,v)char**v;{a(q=1);b(1);", "c(1);*J=--u?O?*J:*v[1]:53;X|=u<<57-*v[u];y(X);K=40+q;q?e(O,X),q&&(K='|'),e(X", ",O),R(),O|=1<<--i:J[*J-48+(X=O=0)]--;L(q=0);for(s(i=0);q=i<12;)s(i++),i>4&&N", ";s(q=12);P(48);P('}');P(59);N;q=0;L(1);for(i=5;i<13;)s(i++),N;L(2);}",0}; b(X){/*/X=- b(X){/*/X=- -1;F;X=- -1;F;X=- -1;F;}/*/ -1;F;}/*/ int q,i,j,k,X,O=0,H;S(x)int*x;{X+=X;O+=O;*x+1?*x+2||X++:O++;*x=1;}L(n){for(* z[i=1]=n+97;i<4;i++)M(256),s(i),M(128),s(i),M(64),N;X*=8;O*=8;}s(R){char*r=z [R];for(q&&Q;*r;)P(*r++);q&&(Q,P(44));}M(m){P(9);i-2||P(X&m?88:O&m?48:32);P( 9);}y(A){for(j=8;j;)~A&w[--j]||(q=0);}e(W,Z){for(i-=i*q;i<9&&q;)y(W|(1<<i++& ~Z));}R(){for(k=J[*J-48]-40;k;)e(w[k--],X|O);}main(u,v)char**v;{a(q=1);b(1); c(1);*J=--u?O?*J:*v[1]:53;X|=u<<57-*v[u];y(X);K=40+q;q?e(O,X),q&&(K='|'),e(X ,O),R(),O|=1<<--i:J[*J-48+(X=O=0)]--;L(q=0);for(s(i=0);q=i<12;)s(i++),i>4&&N ;s(q=12);P(48);P('}');P(59);N;q=0;L(1);for(i=5;i<13;)s(i++),N;L(2);} c(X){/*/X=- c(X){/*/X=- -1;F;X=- 0 -1;F;X=- -1;F;}/*/ -1;F;}/*/

:-|

:-)

:-(

If you want a program that never loses, replace the string " 9999999999 :-| " with " 9883857753 :-| ".

Sample complete game.