Welcome to Things From The Future, where we take annoying ass market research surveys and then show you some (possible) things from the future!

As an introductory post, we have for you some possible upcoming beer container designs, some good and some that, well, you’ll see…

-The Good-

The Quick Cool Core:

Who can complain about beer that is colder quicker and for longer? This one is a pretty cool idea…

The Twist Top:

Another good one, who doesn’t like beer to stay fresher and colder longer (especially a 40),though it would probably be better if they could combine it with the next item on the list.

The Draft Spout:

I don’t know how or if this works, but if it does sign me up, nothing makes cheap-ass beer taste better than getting it out of a keg instead of a bottle.

The Offset Neck:

Having enjoyed more than my fair share of beers in my day, I appreciate something that makes me less likely to spill beer all over myself while drunk, though it is somewhat reminiscent of a motor oil jug.

-The Bad-

The “Classic” 40:

Edward 40-Hands just wouldn’t be the same without the very real danger of having heavy ass glass 40s taped to your hands while drinking two of them.

The Flip-N-Snap/Pop Top:

This is the kind of shit that should be reserved for little kid’s sippy cups. We all get sloppy sometimes but these are just insulting.

Grooves:

I call bullshit on this doing anything at all to keep your beer colder.

-The Fucking Stupid-

Flavoring/Vitamin Spray:

Man Law – Beer should never contain vitamin or flavor sprays.

Smooth Flow:

Reminds me of periods and looks like a flower vase. I’d feel more manly drinking beer out of a coconut with a little umbrella.

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This entry was posted on Monday, March 15th, 2010 at 6:52 pm and is filed under Things From The Future!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.