Sean Miller was sweatin’ the small stuff last night. And the big stuff. And pretty much just sweating a ton no matter what. The under-shirt-less coach of the Arizona Wildcats somehow managed to upstage any of the other spectacular first-round pyro-technics by pretty much looking like a cruise director wading through chest high water of a sinking Carnival Ship looking for any remaining passengers to evacuate.

So, it begs the question: what do you think Sean Miller most resembled last night? Since Richard Simmons is allegedly being held hostage in his home by a witch, it’s time for us to sweat to the Tourney with the Wildcats.

In the spirit of all things March Madness, we’ve created a bracket that I will update at the end of the day. Place your votes for the 1st Round Matchups.

1) 5th Place in the Señor Frogs Cancún Spring Break Wet T-Shirt Contest

8) The Male Star of the Ill-Fated Sequel to “Flashdance”: “Flash Dance 2: Dance Harder”

[polldaddy poll=9353677]

2) Seaworld’s CEO, Desperately Attempting to Show How Much He Loves Orcas

7) A super-hammered groomsman at an outdoor wedding reception in August

[polldaddy poll=9353682]

4) A Person Who Just Got Baptized in 1940

3) A Man Whose Plane Crash-Landed in the Desert and He’s Been Wandering for Days

[polldaddy poll=9353687]

5) An informant testifying against the mob in the 1980’s

6) Richard Nixon’s Sweat Coach for the 1960 Presidential Debates

[polldaddy poll=9353693]

Get your votes in and we’ll keep everyone updated.

FIN