Perhaps there’s a reason why still too few of us pay heed to warnings about how we are killing the planet by cruel and unusual methods. How can you persuade people to stop endangering other species and start protecting the environment when they don’t seem concerned about torturing themselves?

According to Child Poverty Action Group in Scotland, almost one in four (230,000) of Scotland’s children are officially recognised as living in poverty, one of the highest rates in Europe. And unless there is a significant policy shift north and south of the border, the Institute for Fiscal Studies is forecasting that more than a third of UK children will be in poverty by 2022. The charity’s definition of child poverty is a reasonable one: “It means growing up in families without the resources to obtain the type of diet, participate in the activities and have the living conditions and amenities which are the norm in 21st-century Scotland.”

We are rarely more than a few weeks between revelations about another public health crisis in Scotland’s communities. The causes are wearyingly familiar to all those who have been paying attention. The communities that bear the brunt of these crises are the same as those that did so a hundred years ago.

So if no government north and south of the border over the course of the century has been able to effect enough change in the living (and dying) circumstances of these neighbourhoods, how on earth can we be confident they will take steps to stop us torturing the planet? According to a UN report last week, about one million species of animals, plants and insects are facing extinction in the near future. No species, it seems, is considered too big or too plentiful to die.

The pattern of irresponsibility mirrors that which characterises our efforts to end human poverty. We know what is required and we have the means to effect it. We even know the specific neighbourhoods and streets requiring most help to address poverty, while David Attenborough has told us exactly where to find the threatened species.

We also know that if we don’t improve our means of producing food and energy and take greater care in disposing of waste there is a real risk of irrevocably destroying the ecosystem that sustains the existence of animals and humans.

I think we’re also entitled to ask if there is a point at which we declare a state of emergency to rescue ourselves and our environment. Scotland could take the lead. This country imagines itself as providing a gold standard in caring for the environment. At the STUC conference in Dundee in April Nicola Sturgeon pledged to make Scotland carbon-neutral and thus make it “a healthier, wealthier and fairer nation”. The traditional embedded interests that have always influenced UK domestic policy would suggest that nothing will ever be allowed to interfere with free market priorities.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest ‘Every Scottish family would be required to sign up to a national beekeeping register.’ Photograph: Ian Forsyth/Getty Images

The first minister should declare a state of national environmental emergency. It should take the form of a sort of national boot camp. Under this, the government would award itself special powers to impose a form of compulsory national service to save the planet and ourselves. It would apply to all over the age of 16.

The following is a list of measures to get the ball rolling: no overseas travel (unless by boat) for two years. This would reduce our carbon footprint to around a manageable size four. It would also give an almighty boost to Scotland’s tourist trade and the fragile economy of the Highlands and Islands. Lots of jobs would be created and hard-pressed families would save money by not going on ridiculous trips to Florida and Cancun they can’t really afford.

Compulsory beekeeping. Every Scottish family would be required to sign up to a national beekeeping register. This would enjoin them to volunteer for a minimum time each week looking after the wee furry fellas at the community beehive centre. We’d not only save the bees, which are a key building block of our ecosystem, it would get the kids out, give them a sense of purpose and improve their mental health.

Mandatory adoption of an endangered animal. Every Scottish family would be required to adopt an endangered animal and help pay for its welfare. I adopted a couple of amur leopards a few years ago called Henrik and Lubo for a very small annual consideration. Regrettably, I let it lapse but am now scanning the internet for other threatened beasties to help out.

Leave the Munros alone (for a wee while at least). I think some of our wild and beautiful places deserve a break from the intense human behaviour they’ve been subjected to over recent decades when Munro-bagging has become a chi-chi lifestyle accoutrement. I’d limit permits to much more sustainable levels. To ensure we are all getting exercise the Scottish government must establish compulsory attendance at community Falun Gong sessions.

Compulsory lights out. Every family would be required to spend one day a week without any form of energy supply. This would be monitored by smart meters and Alexa (who we all know is spying on us anyway). Not only would it make us carbon-neutral more quickly but it would engender a sense of community and family togetherness in the candlelight. It would also boost the Scottish population, which an independent Scotland requires for a buoyant economy. Any unforeseen costs in rolling out the national boot camp would, in future, be met by the £163m annual savings on paying for Trident.

• Kevin McKenna is an Observer columnist