4 Metallica Fakes a Catastrophic Equipment Malfunction

Metallica may be the withered old elder statesmen of mainstream metal, but they like to remind us all how hardcore they used to be in the days before they did songs for Tom Cruise movies by scaring the absolute weenus out of everyone at their concert with an elaborate fake stage collapse, which you may notice is something that killed a bunch of people at a Sugarland concert in 2011.

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In Metallica's spirited farce, a roadie runs onstage to check the pyrotechnics and gets set on fire, running feebly to the other end of the stage as the scaffolding and lighting rigs begin dropping around the band members like space debris in a Michael Bay movie. A man then falls from the ceiling, dangling upside down on a wire, before crashing lifelessly at the feet of James Hetfield like so many XXL T-shirt owners before him. Metallica has used this elaborate gag in many of their live shows, proving that while they may be old, they are still excellent at not giving one blasted ass about people's safety.