For me, one of the most helpful cues from Sam has been to stare into the darkness behind my eyes. Before Waking Up, I had never tried to stare into the vast expanse of my eyelids the same way I would gaze upon the NYC skyline. There's a shapeshifting depth of color and movement that exists behind closed eyes in the same way that it does with eyes open. Throughout each meditation, Sam often shifts between eyes open and closed to make the point that reality exists just as entirely in both stages. Although all of the light and color may seem to come rushing back in as the eyelids crack open, the same spacious experience can be perceived looking deep into the darkness. Eyelids are windows.

This Isn’t Doing Anything

In your meditation journey, not all sessions are created equal. Some will feel like a waste. You may go minutes lost in thought, forgetting that you are meditating. Other sessions spark about pockets of clarity, real presence. Meditation is not supposed to have a “goal,” but for me, a “good” meditation is marked by stretches of presence unclouded by thought, sometimes thirty seconds, other times a minute if it’s a spectacular day before the distractions rush back in. And this cycle may recur five to six times within a ten minute span before Sam thanks you for meditating with him that day. Presence doesn’t feel like an existential washing over of your soul, like a beam of sunlight shining through your chest. It’s not emotional. Bliss is different than being present. Bliss is being overwhelmed by happiness. Being present is noticing the bliss.

Also, don't let the ups and downs determine the frequency of practice. Sitting down daily and pressing the next meditation within the app is the key. The times you feel most wound up are the times you need to practice the most. Give this app a good two weeks before you decide to call it quits. As someone who went 24 years without noticing perpetual onslaught of thought, I can tell you that it takes time to feel the effects of meditation. Distraction seems like the only option until you momentarily break free. As Sam writes in his 'How to Meditate' blog post:

Such distraction is the normal condition of our minds. Most of us fall from the wire every second, toppling headlong—whether gliding happily in reverie or plunging into fear, anger, self-hatred, and other negative states of mind. Meditation is a technique for breaking this spell, if only for a few moments. The goal is to awaken from our trance of discursive thinking—and from the habit of ceaselessly grasping at the pleasant and recoiling from the unpleasant—so that we can enjoy a mind that is undisturbed by worry, merely open like the sky, and effortlessly aware of the flow of experience in the present.

The magic of the Waking Up App happens not only in the meditations but in how it starts to affect life outside of the practice. During moments of transition, like getting up from my desk or walking across a threshold, I often stop, notice five to six breaths, then proceed.

You Have The Right To Remain Silent

Earlier today, I thought, "No one gives a shit about my podcast, and other people make better ones. What's the point?" Before Waking Up, that thought probably would have taken root in my mind and flooded my soul. Now, I still have these thoughts, but meditation has given me a space between the stimulus and reaction. I no longer feel as much of a slave to the constant barrage. It's a new freedom, like having a pause button to notice the bullshit instead of operating on autopilot, knee-jerk responses.

Since downloading Waking Up, I kiss more passionately. I feel more like a kid. I notice the way my hand slices the wind as I walk. It took me 25 years to realize that you can feel the slight graze of wind as your hands cut through the air, even at a walking pace. Everyday experiences inspire me in ways I never before let them. I didn't have the circuitry for it.