“What a day” – Kelly Slater, 5 minutes after claiming his 53rd ASP trophy.

Let’s all agree with him and acknowledge this day for what it was: a fucking good day! If you enjoy watching contest surfing as much as I do, this is the kind of shit that gets your blood pumping. And if you don’t like contest surfing, please do yourself a favor and go check out this wonderful tool called Heat Analyser on Volcom’s event site.

We will fully wrap up the event in a later post today but let’s first break down the last 7 heats of what was the event of the year so far.

Quarter Final 1 – John John Florence VS Jordy Smith

We have 2 of the 4 event’s favorites (with Parkinson and Slater) pitted against each other here, with the end result being a lot less tight than I imagined it to be, Jean Jean taking out Smith 19.06 to 13.60. This heat had me thinking: how would I explain JJ’s seemingly effortless competitive success to a non-surfer? Why does he seems different from the rest of the field? Two things:

1- A lot of times, he is able to out-do his opponents by a vastly superior skills set. But here, in 6 to 8ft+ Cloudbreak against the mighty Jordy Smith, and even if he is a better tube rider, I don’t think this would be sufficient enough to explain the 5.46 points differential.

2- This heat showed us that John John is first and foremost a great ocean reader. That guy’s ability to get the best waves, in a heat or else, is second to none in the history of surfing. Kelly close second, Vetea David coming in third. I think this ability to get the best waves has been acquired throughout the years and doesn’t come from a supposedly innate “magnetism”, as Chris Cote referred to during that heat. John John unconsciously worked for this talent: he has salt in his veins from so many hours trading with the oceans, has an obvious passion for getting the best waves of the day and has surfed good waves, and big waves, so much and so early in his life that I suspect he has much higher standards than anybody else in terms of waves selection.

Combine that with a decent amount of luck (this insane buzzer beater at the 2012 Volcom Pipe Pro comes to mind) and you have one of the deadliest competitors ever. Of course, as soon as I realized all this and finally put it on paper, JJ loses his next heat… Pro Surfing is great in its unpredictability.

Quarter Final 2 – Kelly Slater VS Sebastian Zietz

This heat instantly makes surfing’s history for two reasons. First, It is only the fourth perfect heat of the “two best waves” era, after Kelly’s 2005 Teahupoo final triumph (the one where Damian Hobgood dislocated his shoulder for the second year in a row), Joel Parkinson’s Round 3 Pipe Masters victory over Dusty Payne in 2008 (retrospectively, the heat that allowed Joel to claim the Triple Crown that year) and Jeremy Flores Round 5 victory at Teahupoo in 2011 over local son Michel Bourez.

Second, this heat will also be remembered as one of the biggest beatings ever. 20 to 4.10, that is a 15.9 pts gap. Ouch. Marlon Lipke once did better though, or worse actually, by posting 1.33 pts to Fanning’s 19.43 during the 2007 Quiksilver Pro France. This is an atrocious 18.1 differential people. But it was a 1st round three-man heat, in fickle French Beachbreak, not a man-on-man quarterfinal in perfect Cloudbreak. Sebastian Zietz probably doesn’t mind that much though, being the happy-no-matter-what guy that he seems to be, but I can’t wait for a Zietz/Slater rematch to see how bad he wants to erase this blooper off. I’ll be mosdef cheering for you Zietz, get back at him!!!

Also, I want to add something there. On-site commentators and media where quick to interpret Slater’s pre-heat hug of C-Bass as mind-game. Please give this guy a break. As much as I hate them mind-games and am highly suspicious about them, this was clearly a case of “alright buddy, let’s go have fun in perfect waves, good luck.” PERIOD. They were all hugging each other all week long, so much that it got scary. And, from a distance, it seems that Kelly has been playing it fair-play for a while now and seems to hold less animosity against his fellow competitors than earlier in his career. I liked the way he praised Mitch Coleborn after their heat for example. Still, the two perfect barrels he found agains Zietz were nothing short of spectacular and came from a man possessed. Was it worth a perfect 20? I’d say HELL YES, GIVE IT TO HIM!!! But let me know of your thoughts in the comment section below.

Quarter Final 3 – CJ Hobgood VS Josh Kerr

Coming right after a perfect heat, watching those two guys waiting through lulls and scratching their way into a combined 15.27 was like going through a nasty Saturday morning hangover. A slooooooow and painful hangover. But hey, it is not like those guys didn’t try to keep entertainment levels up. Between CJ’s unique take-off to barrel stance combo and Kerr’s cutback to reverse on a 6ft steamroller, there was enough to cheer for. It must have been a tough one to judge but I think the end result was fair. 7.77 to 7.50, CJ goes through. Note: they have to throw Wassel in the booth during those slow heats. (More on the Wasselhoff, funniest commentator in the biz, in a later post)

Quarter Final 4 – Joel Parkinson VS Mick Fanning

Entering this heat, Gold Coast’s two favorite BFFs were exactly equal in terms of professional competitive success throughout their careers. Sure, Fanning has twice as many World Titles as his pal (2 to 1) but Parko nonetheless has twice as much heat victories over his rival (12 to 6). I would have a tough time choosing a better competitor out of the two to be honest… That being said, I don’t know about you but every time I see those two frickin legends matched against each other, it feels like I’m watching the very world title decider. For fuck’s sake, this was “just” a quarter final in “just” the 4th event of the year but I couldn’t shake off the idea that whoever won that heat would be crowned world champion come crunch time. Before that last quarter final, I would have picked Parkinson over Fanning 99 times out of 100 in big lefthanders though: JP’s work on his backside surfing has paid huge dividends throughout the years. I remember his section in Taylor Steele’s Momentum Under the Influence a decade ago: only rights! Not a single left made the cut in the editing bay. Since then, he has truly leveled the backside part of his game, put it on par with his frontside and he could now have a backside-only section in a movie without a problem (watch his 2nd round heat for further evidence).

Until that heat, I always thought that there was something missing in Mick’s backside attack. I always saw potential in him to become one of the best backsiders in the world (especially during that Rip Curl Search Reunion win a few years back) but even then, I was always thinking “room for improvement” for Mick in lefts. Although, this time, Mick’s first turn of the heat, even if not completed, slapped me in the face like no other all week. W.O.W! Mick, sorry for doubting your backhand abilities, that will never happen again… please keep up the good work! Also worth mentioning: the results of these guys’ core workout programs were obvious during that quarter final bout. They are both amazingly able to surf as precisely in double overhead surf than in shoulder-high conditions, despite the much much greater speed. Let’s have a look at the final scoreboard: 12.13 to 11.83, Mick barely but deservedly advances.

Semi Final 1 – John John Florence VS Kelly Slater

The two best surfers in the world right now? Mmmmh, probably not if you are Australian but damn straight right if you ain’t. Those two don’t seem to have a lot of face time during contests these days so it was great to have them matched against each other and watch them go to work while destroying a bowl of delicious salty popcorn in front of my computer, thousands of miles away from the action.

If I had to name that heat it would be: Florence and the Machine. Not that I want to publicize a poppy band that I don’t really like, but this is what it was: Florence against a raging machine! Man, for all we know, they could have that guy Slater involved in some obscure stem cells research. That turn he pulls off with 11:50 seconds to go is simply the turn of the event. Knowing that the guy performing it is 41 is mind boggling. I watched it 100 times and that snap/tailslide/power lip bash is a mix of talent, power and perfect positioning but also sheer desire and raw ambition. Thanks for that turn KS, it made my day. Popcorn was getting spilled all over my living room at that point already. John John did well to try to fight back but his clever, patient approach didn’t pay off. It will next time, “good things come to those who wait” as said the greatest philosophers of our time: Blink-182 ahah. Another band that I shouldn’t mention, I know. Final score: 18.17 to 14.00.

Semi Final 2 – CJ Hobgood VS Mick Fanning

Once again, I would have put my money against Fanning on that one. Once again, he proved that I am not that knowledgeable about surfing. At the horn, the scoreboard showed a .37 pt advantage for Eugene. In my opinion, it should have been a bigger gap between the two. No offense Clifton James but your turns lacked the oomph they would have shown a few years ago. Impeccable barreling skills almost got you through but the White Lightning was too strong on the open face this time. Fanning kept on surprising me in that final day. He is nowadays putting much more distance between his center of gravity and his front foot while surfing backside, which allows him to distribute his weight nicely, Occy-like, and get a lot more out of his inside rail. Being thus able to cover more ground on his backhand bottom turn than ever, Mick was able to properly carry his speed up the face and dismantle the poor Cloudbreak lips, when he wasn’t hiding under them. Hats off to CJ though, one of my favorite surfers and last goofy in the draw. Disappointing results overall for team goofy by the way, especially considering how much they are all frothing about this contest after having their back to the walls at Snapper/Kirra and Bells at the beginning of the year.

Final – Kelly Slater VS Mick Fanning

Let me get this straight: that opening exchange was crazy! It will take me weeks to clean up all the popcorn that I sent flying from my lap at that point. Great opening ride by Mick. Scoring a 9.20 from the get go against the king helped his campaign and had me guessing that he really did have it in him to win this thing. But then, on the wave just behind this, Kelly pulls in, no hand, full-on Jesus Stance, into this freight train monster… (that’s where I spill the popcorn everywhere around me, wake up the neighborhood screaming, call my mom… crazy stuff), Ok, he didn’t actually make it but at that point, there is no way he is losing, that man is in the zone. Of course, he ends up winning, pushes his 5’9 quad to its absolute limits, bags another ten in the process (should have been a 9 something but that won’t influence the end result so who in hell cares?) and goes on to win the 2013 Volcom Fiji Pro. BOOM! I am not the biggest Slater fan there is but this was one of the most convincing win I witnessed in years. Thank you Volcom for another great event and thank you to all the athletes for the good times provided. Signing off now, I gotta clean this popcorn mess now, merde!