A U.S. Attorney in Tenn. has been forced to remind parents not to buy or sell lollipops that have been spat on or licked by children with infectious diseases like chicken pox. So much for the "free market" in Barry Soetero's America, eh?

Yes: if you want to buy a lollipop that has been ineptly infected with chicken pox, you can do so on Facebook, where groups exist to connect the unbelievably stupid with the inexplicably gullible:

[U.S. Attorney Jerry] Martin said it is a federal crime to send diseases or viruses across state lines, whether through the U.S. Postal Service or private services like FedEx or UPS. Sending the lollipops would be illegal under the same law that makes it illegal to mail contagions like anthrax. He said a conviction could lead to a sentence from less than a year to 20 years in prison. Martin said the items are sought by parents who don't want to give their children vaccines. He said he could neither confirm nor deny that his office is investigating or seeking charges against anyone.

According to the TV reports, parents have turned to a Facebook group called "Find a Pox Party in Your Area" to link up people looking to share the virus. One of the Facebook postings from Wendy Werkit of Nashville offered a "fresh batch of pox in Nashville shipping of suckers, spit and Q-tips available tomorrow 50 dollars via PayPal."

Why do we have a federal government? Why do we pay taxes? Because we need to give Jerry Martin a salary so that he can remind idiots not to solicit measles-laden candy for their children. And then prosecute them when they do it anyway.

[Google, image via Shutterstock]