Sometimes patient-doctor interactions can get a bit out of hand and bat poop crazy and we like nothing more than exposing these moments for your sound health. Here is a collection of funny doctor jokes to make your day.

Doctor and Nurse Interview-

Doctor: What would you do in the case of a patient who has eaten poisonous roots?

Nurse: I will recommend a change of diet.

Feeling like a dog-

Patient: Doctor, I keep feeling like a Dog. Please help!

Doctor: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Since l was a puppy.

A sick patient went to a doctor-

Doctor: You are very Sick.

Patient: Can I get a Second Opinion?

Doctor: Yes, Of course! You are very Ugly too.

Patient wearing glasses-

Patient : I always see spots before my eyes. What should I do?

Doctor : Didn’t the new glasses help?

Patient : Yes, indeed they did. Now I see the spots much clearer.

The bounced cheque-

Doctor: The cheque which u gave me has returned back.

Patient: The headache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back.

The Nurse and the patient-

Nurse: Wake up! Wake up man!

Patient: Why, what happened?

Nurse: You forgot to take your sleeping pills.

Related read: Doctor Knock Knock jokes

Funny dialogue between doctor and patient

Funny doctor joke – Patient in a hurry

Patient: Doctor doctor; I only got sixty seconds to live .

Doctor: Can you please wait there for a minute!

Funny Doctor jokes- Dentist pulling out a tooth

Dentist: Don’t worry, it will take me only a minute to pull your tooth out.

Patient: And how much will it cost me?

Dentist: $150.

Patient: $150 for just a one-minute job?

Dentist: If you want, I can be pulling it out for two hours. Sounds better?

Funny Doctor jokes – The rabbit

Patient: Doctor, is it true that if I ate a lot of carrots, I won’t need glasses?

Doctor: Of course, it’s true. Have you seen a rabbit with glasses ever?

Funny Doctor jokes – The French patient

A French woman comes to the doctor.

Doctor: Mrs. Williams, good news for you.

Patient: It’s Miss Williams.

Doctor: Miss Williams, bad news for you. Your’re pregnant.

Funny Doctor jokes – Patient and the psychiatrist

Psychiatrist: Do you consume alcohol?

Patient: No.

Psychiatrist: Do you use drugs?

Patient: No.

Psychiatrist: Do you smoke?

Patient: No.

Psychiatrist: Do you run after other women?

Patient: No.

Psychiatrist: Do you play cards?

Patient: No.

Psychiatrist: So why are are you here?

Patient: My problem is that I lie a lot.

Funny doctor jokes – Doctor to another doctor

Doctor 1: Doc, we have lost our patient.

Doctor 2: What happened?

Doctor 1: He recovered.

Funny doctor jokes – Patient in stress

The doctor told his patient to avoid any unnecessary stress, so the patient didn’t open his bill.

Funny doctor jokes – Looking for the patient

Doctor: I have a bad news and a worse news for you.

Patient: Please tell me the bad news first.

Doctor: You have only 24 hours to live.

Patient: Oh my God! And the worse one?

Doctor: I am trying to reach you since yesterday.

Funny doctor jokes – The doctor and his wife

A doctor of a small village drives a car at 100 miles/hour.

Wife: Honey, you should not drive this fast, there might be a cop around the corner and he would stop you.

Doctor: Don’t worry darling, yesterday I told him to stay in bed.

Funny doctor jokes – Patient needs help

Doctor : You are going to die within 4 hours. Wanna see any one before you die?

Patient: Yes. A Good Doctor.

Funny Doctor jokes- The alcoholic patient

Patient: Can you help me withdraw my alcohol.

Doctor: Yeah sure!

Patient: Let’s go

Doctor: Where?

Patient: To the cops who seized it from me.

Funny Doctor jokes- The doctor visited by a Russian

The doctor shows the letters on the board ‘CWZNQSXTAZKY’

Can you read this?

Read? I even know him. He is my my cousin.

Funny Doctor jokes- The old man

Bob, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Bob walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Bob and said: “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”

Bob replied: “Just doing what you said, Doc. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”

The doctor said: “I didn’t say that. I said, You’ve got a heart murmur – be careful.”

If you are a fan of knock knock jokes, this website, The Knock Knock Jokes is for you.

