ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Betoota Heights man has confirmed his love of all things basketball this morning, putting to rest years of speculation.

Francis Roland, a 25-year-old who does things on a computer at an office in return for money to spend on shit he doesn’t need and pay bills for things he needs to survive, explained that growing up in a stable suburban home in the northern fringes of our cosmopolitan desert community created a unique environment that allowed him to foster a love for the unconventional summer sport.

That – and attending a mid-tier catholic private school, he says, created a perfect basketball storm.

“Both my parents worked. My dad was a partner at a small domestic firm that specialises in compensation, wills and conveyancing. Real no-win-no-fee hours, if you catch my drift,” Francis said.

He joined our reporter this morning at the bubblers after a dawn game of pickup in Machattie Park.

“Mum is a librarian at South Betoota Polytechnic [College]. What else do you want to know? Uh, they had a mortgage on a 4-bedroom display home. A Toyota Landcruiser Prado on a novated lease. Mum had her own Corolla. I’ve been to Splendour in the Grass every year for the past six years,”

“Um, I love Triple J. My favourite team is the Celtics in the NBA and I don’t really watch the NBL. I used to when I was a kid but the standard of play is pretty frustrating to watch compared to the NBA. What else? I went to St Matthew’s in Betoota Heights with my older brothers. I was Captain of Basketball. My girlfriend lives five minutes away and we’ve been going out for 10 years. Our parents are friends. I never really go into the city besides work of if we’re going out on the town for someone’s birthday or something,”

“We get the train into the French Quarter if we do so everyone can have their six vodkas and have fun,”

“I guess that’s why I love basketball, I guess?”

More to come.