Oh, fuck this:

This woman is out of her fucking skull. How DARE she? Democrats are scaring women to drum up votes? Is she serious? Let’s take a little walk down GOP Fuckery Lane, shall we?

Republicans are trying to shove foreign objects into our vaginas.

Republicans are comparing us to fucking farm animals.

Republicans are trying to force us to carry DEAD FETUSES in our wombs because hey — pigs and cows do it!

Republicans want to tax us if we choose to get an abortion.

Republicans are forcing doctors to flat-out lie to us about abortions increasing the risk of breast cancer.

Republicans tried (and nearly succeeded) in denying us access to any preventive health care whatsoever, if it offends somebody’s twisted theological sense of morality.

Republicans are trying to force us to watch an abortion before having one.

Republicans are trying to force us to get permission from the man (Father? Rapist? Who cares!) before getting an abortion.

Republicans are trying to force us to tell employers whether we’re using the pill for birth control.

Republicans think that a baby conceived by rape is a gift from God.

Republicans think that we gals don’t need contraception — we should just hold an aspirin between our knees.

Republicans think that “rape” is a figment of our imagination. Is it really rape or are you just being a cranky-pants?

Republicans think we’re sluts for wanting insurance coverage for contraception — whether for birth control or otherwise — all the while demonstrating how utterly devoid of brain activity they are by suggesting that the doctor-recommended use for birth control is “a-pill-per-screw,” and that maybe we could pay for our ovarian cyst treatment if we’d just stop drinking so many fucking soy lattes.

Republicans want us to lie back and take it. They want us to just “close our eyes” while they shame us and guilt us and emotionally traumatize us and out us to the public for making a choice about our bodies that has absolutely fuck-all to do with them. And they’re doing this under the guise of “education” and “life-affirmation”; attaching quaint and pithy names to horrific bills which violate our rights as humans. Names like “Ultrasound Opportunity” or “Right to Know and See.” Don’t worry. It’s all about knowledge.

Knowledge is power, you see, and frankly ladies, you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. You think you’re incubating baby iguanas in your wombs while storks slingshot babies through open windows in the dead of night. No, no, silly one. This here probe will give you all the knowledge about the birds and the bees that you need, and conveniently, since you’re pregnant in the first place, you’ve already consented to be vaginally probed by our metal knowledge stick. Hooray!

Oh yeah — and let’s not forget that we’re getting fucking FIREBOMBED for daring to believe that a woman’s uterus is hers. Not her husband’s. Not her boyfriend’s. Not her father’s or uncle’s or brother’s. And certainly not some fucking politician who does not now nor has he ever owned a uterus, or the feckless Republican women who fall in line behind these misogynist assholes.

And you can fuck right off with that “oh, the firebomber was just a crazy homeless dude” crap. As Melissa MacEwan at Shakesville so eloquently put it:

Guess who else is “crazy”? Anyone who sees a pattern of anti-progressive violence—and, very specifically, misogynist and/or homophobic and/or racist violence—and has the unmitigated temerity to suggest that, hey, maybe this shit isn’t happening in a void.

All of this is to say the following–

Cathy McMorris-Rodgers? Jump up your own uterus, lady. You don’t speak for me. You don’t speak for thousands of women who don’t have the distinct privilege of standing on the Capitol steps spewing bullshit in order to protect the misogynist necks of the Republican men to whom you’ve sold your soul, your dignity, your humanity, your personal freedom, and, indeed your life; all the while knowing that should you or your daughter Grace require birth control or an abortion or any of the women’s health services that you and your ilk are viciously stripping from us, you will be able to get them. After all, as a member of Congress, you have some of the best health insurance in the country! And we all know that the rules which you seek to apply to millions of women — many of them poor women of color — don’t apply to the daughters of deluded state politicians from the Pacific Northwest. (Dontcha know.)

So, Cathy, you want to give up your reproductive rights? Or the reproductive rights of your daughter? Fine. Go right ahead.

But back the fuck up off of mine.

And the notion that Democrats are scaring women by shining a light on the horrific human rights injustices that you Republicans seek to impose on us is patently absurd. Democrats aren’t scaring women, Cathy. Republicans are scaring women.

Stop it.

*** Rant written from an unabashedly cisgendered perspective. I’m working on figuring out ways not to do that all the time.

[cross-posted at ABLC