Becoming a Christian means breaking with the world–a severing of old ties, allegiances, habits, and everything that falls under what can be called your “former way of life” (that is, Ephesians 2). But the severing isn’t ever perfect or clean, not least because, though we are no longer part of the world or belonging to it, we continue to live out our lives right here, in the midst of it. As a result, the break with the world resembles a bad breakup.

Maybe you know what I’m talking about. You’ve called it off, but she hasn’t, and now she calls, and texts, and shows up at your door, and leaves you gifts. He makes promises, like, “It will be different this time.” She says, “I miss you so much!” (Or, in txt, “i miss u so much, pls come back k?”) You run into her accidentally and she gives you a hug that lasts a little too long; he looks at you the way he used to look at you and your hearts starts fluttering. And then, despite all you know, all your memories of how bad it was in truth, despite all the resolve with which you’ve turned toward your new life, deep in your heart there is a twinge, a longing for the old. And contrary to all you know and have chosen, you begin to flirt with the idea of going back to her or him.

Daily and hourly sometimes that formerly significant other tugs and pulls at both your heartstrings and your physical body (the flesh). And the hard truth is that breaking up with the world is always a bad breakup. And because it’s a bad breakup with a needy and codependent person who won’t listen to reason and won’t go away, the only response is to be ruthless. To firmly, repeatedly, and and uncompromisingly say ‘No.’

No, I will not come with you. No, things between us are over. No, we will never get back together again under any circumstances or reasons. But to do this alone would be tragic. When you have a bad break up in life, you go to your friends, who remind you of your sanity, your identity, and reaffirm your choices. When you have a bad breakup with the world, you must flee to the Church, who should remind you of your sanity, your identity in Christ, and continually, constantly, reaffirm your choice for new life.

Someone once sang that “Breaking up is hard to do.” Hard enough when it’s just a person; far more difficult when it’s a cosmic entity bent on corrupting your faith. Just remember: you’re not meant to go it alone.