Athletic Director Dave Brandon is dreaming. It’s the night of Michigan’s Spring Game, which took place on the same weekend that Brandon unveiled the lavish new Schembechler Hall as well as the announcement of a preseason international soccer game that will be played in Michigan Stadium in August. In the dream, Brandon is interrupted on the walk to his car by a statue.

The imposing figure is Bo Schembechler, the most famous figure in Michigan sports. It’s the first outdoor statue of an individual in the 197 years of the University, all part of the new renovation to the football facilities.

Confused, Brandon walks over to the statue.

Bo Schembechler: Dave, it’s been a while. Gotta admit, I don’t love this new statue, but you’re the boss now, not me.

Dave Brandon: I knew you’d be too humble to be a fan of it, but it’s a great opportunity to draw attention to the Michigan brand. Did you see the Towsley Museum inside the new Hall? It’ll be a great recruiting tool.

BS: Looks great. Has getting recruits really been an issue over the last few years?

DB: Well, no. We’ve had a top-20 recruiting class every year for the past three seasons, actually. Our ‘J. Ira and Nicki Harris Family Head Football Coach,’ Brady Hoke, is quite the recruiter.

BS: Sounds like it. The team has got to be pretty successful then, right?

DB: Well, sort of. We won the Sugar Bowl in 2011, but last season we got to just seven wins. Had one of the worst offensive lines in college football even though an NFL team will draft two of the five starters in May. Rushed for minus-48 yards against Michigan State. Got beat up by Kansas State in the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl. But, we’ve got an exciting schedule the next two years against non-rivalry teams. Appalachian State. Utah. Miami (Ohio). BYU. Oregon State. UNLV. Playing against new opponents is a great way to build our brand, plus, we’re almost through with having to play Notre Dame. Thank God. Those games were always so boring.

BS: But is the team going to be any good? How’d they do in the Spring Game?

DB: Bo, sorry, but it’s the Spring Game presented by PNC. Sponsoring every event we run helps build the brand. Anyway, it went fine. Devin Gardner threw an interception on the first play of the day and couldn’t place any throws, the offensive line could be even worse than last season’s and we didn’t have enough depth to play an actual game, but besides that, I think people were excited! Must be leftover from the Big House soccer announcement.

BS: What soccer announcement? I didn’t think the Michigan soccer team could draw that many people!

DB: Well, err, it’s not exactly related to Michigan. But it’s very exciting. Two of the most famous clubs in the word, Real Madrid and Manchester United, will be playing a friendly in the Big House in August. Trying to set the record for most fans to ever witness a soccer game. After the success of the Winter Classic, I think it’ll go well. Great for the brand.

BS: So in the span of nine months, Michigan will be hosting two events that have nothing to do with the University? What’s next, Dave? A WWE match? An NBA game? A NASCAR race?

DB: Those are actually great ideas! Let me write some of those down. Can’t ever have too many opportunities to build the brand.

BS: I mean, is the money at least going toward something worthwhile?

DB: Of course! Some of it’s going toward general student scholarships, but we’re also going to construct a new soccer facility.

BS: The old stadium must be pretty run down, then?

DB: Oh, yeah. I mean the thing was built in 2010. How am I supposed to build the brand with all these decrepit old facilities?

BS: So you’re doing a lot of construction projects, then?

DB: Of course! Yost Ice Arena and the Crisler Center just got facelifts, and we’re redoing the entire South Campus. We’re getting rid of all the old buildings and facilities, like Ferry Field, and creating the shiny new Stephen M. Ross Athletic Campus. All of these brand new buildings will really show off the rich tradition and history of Michigan.

BS: You’re getting rid of historic Ferry Field? Where Jesse Owens set four world records in 45 minutes? What new facility is going there?

DB: Well, actually, a parking lot. But that’s beside the point.

BS: Dave, I don’t know about that. Can I give you some advice?

DB: Always, coach.

BS: You’re focusing too much on building up a brand that already exists. The influence and power of Michigan existed well before you, and it will exist far after you. You know what builds brands? Winning. The basketball team didn’t build up its brand with that fancy new Crisler Center or with those highlighter Adidas jerseys. It built up that brand by making two Elite Eight games in two seasons, without excuses about age or anything else. That team just won, plain and simple, and that’s why that brand is so popular. The same thing will happen with football, or anything else. Start treating Michigan like the historic place it is, not like a second-rate university that needs to make a splash on the national scene. This was Michigan well before you got here, Dave. Don’t lose sight of that.

Brandon begins to respond, but the Schembechler statue is frozen again. The athletic director stands there for a few seconds, scratching his head, before getting into his car and driving home. His dream only ends when every last piece of pizza from the Domino’s box in Brandon’s car is gone.

Cook can be reached at evcook@umich.edu and on Twitter @everettcook