It took longer than expected, but Bryce Harper finally found a deal worth signing. Harper and the Philadelphia Phillies have reportedly agreed to terms on a 13-year, $330 million contract. It’s the most lucrative deal in baseball history, and it will keep the former MVP in red pinstripes for a long time.

The 13-year, $330M deal for Harper will include an average annual value of $25.4M - the 14th-highest in major-league history. With no opt-outs, per @JeffPassan and others, massive commitment by #Phillies. — Ken Rosenthal (@Ken_Rosenthal) February 28, 2019

Harper was in a position to demand a long-term commitment during free agency, and given that he’s only 26 years old, the Phillies can afford to provide him one. But 13 years is a staggering amount of time. What does the future hold for Philly’s new slugger?

2019: Despite Harper’s strong individual season (.320 BA, 39 HR, 101 RBI, two cool haircuts), the Phillies finish third in the NL East.

2020: Energized by his new ad campaign for Maldon Salt (“It’s The Big Salt!”), Harper leads the Phillies to their first postseason appearance since 2011. Harper misses the Divisional Round due to sodium poisoning, and Philadelphia is swept by the St. Louis Cardinals.

2021: A fight between the Phillie Phanatic and Gritty spills into the home dugout and onto Harper. He misses two months due to injury.

2022: Major League Baseball’s collective bargaining agreement expires, and players go on strike after it’s revealed during negotiations that team owners don’t even know their names. It’s the first MLB work stoppage since 1994, and Harper, age 30, loses a full season of his prime.

2023: As the work stoppage enters its second season, team owners fill their rosters with scabs from Portugal’s Liga Atlântica de Basebol. The New York Mets (née Porto Buffalos) win the World Series.



2024: The scabs go on their own strike after a depressingly slow hot stove season. They are replaced by the original players, who come to an agreement with team owners after U.S. President-elect Lincoln Chafee’s famous “Play Ball!” address unites the nation.



2025: Harper’s 1.260 OPS is the league’s highest mark since Barry Bonds’ 2003 season. Phillies fans embrace the star, but Philadelphia loses a heartbreaking NLCS Game 7 to the Chicago Cubs. The Filchner-Ronne Ice Shelf fractures from Antarctica and plunges into the Weddell Sea.

2026: Harper misses most of the season with a torn labrum.



2027: Harper struggles in his return, and home fans shower him with boos after his four-strikeout appearance against the Oklahoma City Marlins.

2028: Harper credits Philadelphia’s new hitting coach for his improved offensive production. His resurgent season ends when the Phillies lose to the Dodgers in the Wild Card Game (which is played in Hershey, Pennsylvania due to massive flooding of the Delaware River).

2029: Too hot to play baseball.



2030: Harper is spared during The Great Conflict. Emperor Chafee invites him to the Enforcement Zone to hit home runs for his amusement.



2031: Harper collects 102 RBIs, and his surprising renaissance earns the 38-year-old a three-year deal with the Yankees. The journey to New York is fraught with danger. Marauding gangs stalk the wooded roads. At a clearing, Harper sees a fawn. Where’s its mother? he wonders. The sun sinks below the tree line and bathes him in darkness. Cold and alone, he listens to weevils crawling through the brush and reflects on the past 13 years. “Hot stove,” he mutters.