In the latest blockbuster report about how the chronic understaffing and mandatory overtime at MCC helped contribute to Jeffrey Epstein's "suicide" (or at least that's the official narrative that certain parties are trying to push), the New York Times reported on Wednesday that the two guards tasked with monitoring Epstein's unit were asleep when the pedophile-financier tied a bedsheet around his neck and the other end to a top bunk, before pitching himself forward.

When the guards awakened after not checking on Epstein for three hours to discover, to their horror, that Epstein had apparently committed suicide, they decided to falsify records to cover their tracks, something that could draw criminal charges, per the NYT.

Ladies and gentlemen, have we found our patsies?

The two staff members in the special housing unit where Mr. Epstein was held - 9 South - falsely recorded in a log that they had checked on the financier, who was facing sex trafficking charges, every 30 minutes, as was required, the officials said. Such false entries in an official log could constitute a federal crime. In fact, the two people guarding Mr. Epstein had been asleep for some or all of the three hours, three of the officials said.

The two employees were placed on administrative leave on Tuesday, while Warden of the jail was temporarily reassigned pending the outcome of the investigation, while the Warden of the federal prison in Otisville has been named acting warden of the Manhattan jail.

Those disclosures came on Tuesday as the two employees were placed on administrative leave and the warden of the jail, the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Manhattan, was temporarily reassigned, pending the outcome of the investigation into Mr. Epstein’s death, the Justice Department announced.

One of the staff members who was working to guard Epstein that night was a former corrections officer who had recently taken a desk job inside the prison. But he had recently volunteered to cover some shifts as a corrections officer once again for the extra overtime pay. The second officer, a woman who was assigned to that wing, had been forced to work overtime because of staffing shortages.

Prison staff found Epstein, 66, dead in his cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center at 6:30 a.m. on Saturday, officials said. Earlier reports said staff heard shrieking coming from his cell around the time of his death. He was awaiting trial on charges of sexually abusing dozens of underage girls. Just days before, thousands of pages of documents were released by the US Attorney of the Southern District of New York's office revealing at least half a dozen new names who had never been associated with Epstein and his sex ring before, including former New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson and Marvin Minsky, to name a few.

It's this particularly curious timing that has prompted some to speculate that conspiracy theories that Epstein was murdered or switched with a body double might be real, since without Epstein, there won't be a trial (though AG William Barr has vowed to bring his co-conspirators to justice, his most prominent associate, Ghislaine Maxwell, is nowhere to be found).