Elsa/Getty Images

Gonzalez didn't feel like waiting in the long dressing room line, so he thought he would just try on his jersey over his clothes.

It’s official, the Boston Red Sox are now the proud owners of one Adrian Gonzalez, first baseman extraordinaire and three-time All-Star. It’s a happy cross country move for Gonzalez, who said the Sox have always been his favorite American League team because of Ted Williams, who, like Gonzo, was a sweet swingin’ lefty and a San Diego native.

So, is the newest Red Sox player the greatest thing to hit the Fens since Teddy Ballgame himself? Sounds like a case for Tale of The Tape.

Age When Debuted With Sox

Gonzalez: Will be 28

Williams: 20

Advantage: Williams. Though older dudes have been known to rock Fenway now and again.

Position

Gonzalez: First base

Williams: Left field

Advantage: Gonzalez. Boston has always been a city that loves its first basemen.

Nicknames

Gonzalez: Gonzo

Williams: The Kid, Teddy Ballgame, The Splendid Splinter, The Thumper

Advantage: Gonzalez. Quality over quantity!

Hobbies

Gonzalez: Playing golf, fishing, bowling

Williams: Flying fighter jets, fishing, vision training drills

Advantage: Williams. How can anyone compete with this?

Awesome Movie Quote With Players’ Name in it

Gonzalez: “Yo! Adrian”

Williams: "I am, Bill S. Preston Esquire ... and I am Ted "Theodore" Logan ... and we are ... WYLD STALLIONS!"

Advantage: Williams. Purely for the image of imagining what it would be like to watch Ted Williams watching “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.”

Facial Hair

Gonzalez: ‘Stache and goatee

Williams: Clean as a whistle

Advantage: Williams. If you’re gonna grow a goatee on this team, it better beat this one.

Biggest Baseball Claim To Fame

Gonzalez: NL All-Star

Williams: Last MLB player to bat over .400 in a season.

Advantage: Williams. Which gives Teddy Ballgame the edge, according to our calculations. But don’t worry, Gonzo. There’s no shame in being bested by a Hall of Famer. And you have the whole rest of your career to even the score!