Queer Eye's Tan France describes the bullying he endured growing up South Yorkshire, England, in his new memoir Naturally Tan

The witty wardrobe wiz and one of the stars of Netflix's Queer Eye, Tan France is the first openly gay, South Asian-Muslim man on western TV – but it took years for him to come to terms with his sexuality and heritage.

'It was men I was attracted to and loved, so it stood to reason that I would eventually marry one', he confesses in his book, Naturally Tan: A Memoir, published by St. Martin's. 'I always knew that women weren't for me'.

Tan, now 36, grew up playing with Barbie Dolls and singing Celine Dion and Barbra Streisand songs in his bedroom.

Raised in Doncaster, South Yorkshire, England, Tan was the youngest of five children of his Pakistani parents who had moved there in their teens and describes how he was always hiding his ethnicity and his sexuality.

He was called a racial slur for Pakistani's - a name as derogatory as the N-word and just as painful to hear. His big dream was to round up all the bullies and give every brown person a turn at beating the sh*t out of them.

At age five, Tan wanted to be white.

By age 10, he was stealing bleaching cream from his cousin and using it at night before going to sleep. It was his 'dirty little secret' - along with being gay, which he kept secret from his family until he came out as a teen.

Tan writes that it should have been no mystery that he was gay because he was obsessed with watching Melrose Place, Beverly Hills 90210 and ER as a young boy with two older sisters and two older brothers.

Tan also adored his Barbie dolls.

By joining Netflix's hit Queer Eye, Tan became the first openly gay South-Asian Muslim man on Western television (L-R) Tan, Antoni Porowski, Jonathan Van Ness, Karamo Brown and Bobby Berk. In his book Tan details what it was like auditioning for Queer Eye, and said the final audition was in a room full of 42 gay men

Tan is the youngest of five children to Pakistani parents and says he hid his ethnicity and sexuality from the world most of his life

Tan has been married to his husband Rob France, a Mormon cowboy from Salt Lake City, for 10 years, pictured together in their earlier days of dating

His large Barbie doll collection was innocently given to him by his father who was in a fierce competition with his own brother.

Tan and his cousin were encouraged to compete in school and the competition spilled over into the gift giving – but his cousin was a girl.

When Tan's cousin got a Barbie house and Barbie doll, the following week, Tan was gifted with a bigger Barbie house and five or six Barbie dolls.

He also had two Ken dolls and Sindy, the UK Barbie knockoff.

'I was over the freaking moon,' he writes. 'It felt like all my Christmases had come at once.'

He played with them in secret so his father wouldn't realize that playing with Barbies for a boy 'wasn't quite right' – and he wondered when it would finally dawn on his father.

When people were around, he acted indifferent towards Barbie, but when the coast was clear, he'd rush up to his bedroom and play house with the dolls.

'It was a really happy time,' he confesses.

Tan writes that he had difficulty crossing his legs like men do and 'struggled pretending to give a sh*t about watching football on TV, when I clearly wanted to watch reruns of Golden Girls and hang out on the lanai and eat cheesecake with those broads'.

He spent years trying to hide his sexuality and trying to diminish his ethnicity.

'I didn't need a double whammy in my life'.

Tan revealed that he would use bleaching cream at night before going to sleep around age 10, calling it his dirty little secret

He had a collection of Barbie dolls growing up and would play with them in secret, calling it a 'really happy time'

Each summer Tan would visit his grandfather who owned a clothing factory and had a licensing deal with Disney to produce denim clothing with Disney characters on it.

His grandfather taught him how to sew during those summer visits.

That experience changed his life and fashion became his focus – that included changing his own clothes no less than six times a day.

'Fashion became my thing because I couldn't express myself any other way.

Naturally Tan, published by St. Martin's is out now and France's first book Tan offers wardrobe advice to men and women in his book – from accessories, to clothing and shoes and says his favorite fashion icons are Victoria Beckham and Tilda Swinton

'I used clothing to show the world who I was - Gay Tan was here to stay,' he writes.

Realizing fashion was his true calling, he went off to fashion college before the gay rumors made their way to his home.

Tan had over 30 jobs between ages 16 and 27 – working for brands until he designed a small collection and went to China where he sewed his own samples.

The collection became a massive success and he was suddenly handling three businesses.

Tan writes that his life became all work and he started feel depressed, but he was afraid to quit because he didn't want to stay at home – and he wanted to make money.

That only brought on more depression and suicidal thoughts, he reveals.

He had to get out and sold all the brands to private buyers in the apparel industry.

'I am a fu**ing nightmare...when it comes to worrying about money and production', he writes.

'I was the OG millennial. I know that I can be the biggest bi**h. When it comes to being a bi**h, I am informed'.

He's a 'seasoned bi**h' and gives tips on the art of not being a bi**h at work – just one of many tips he offers in the book.

Tan said he went to the Queer Eye audition hoping to make some new gay friends - and got exactly what he wanted, plus a job, pictured having a meal with the Fab Five

Tan says he loves women and writes they have molded who he is but he observes that they are always criticizing other women. He advises women to start building each other up.

'Men are already there to stomp on you; the last thing we need is for women to join in on the act'.

While on vacation with his husband of 10 years, Rob France, a Mormon cowboy from Salt Lake City, Tan got the call from a talent manager who asked him if he'd be available within the hour to Skype with someone from Netflix.

Tan expressed no interest and after all, he was on vacation, he told the fellow.

Tan had seen the British version of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy but not the American version and still had no interest in auditioning for anything in entertainment.

But Rob convinced him to do it, saying it was only a call.

So he went for it. He and the casting director talked for two hours with Rob answering questions about why he lived in Utah, what his husband was like and life in America versus England.

The call was turned into a three-minute video to share with the show's creators and the offer finally came – 'You're the one'.

The final stage was a three-day audition in Los Angeles where Tan had to meet more than 40 other men all vying for the same job.

He never believed that this would work out and informed the casting director he was too busy to come to LA.

Rob once again convinced him to go.

Tan says that he sometimes caught himself crossing his legs or having a limp wrist and would stop himself, but now that he's married and on a gay show 'the jig is up!'

Tan originally expressed no interest in joining Queer Eye when he got the call from a talent manager, but his husband Rob (pictured)convinced him to audition

This final audition would be in a room full of 42 gay men – so maybe he'd make a couple of new friends, he reasoned, if nothing came of it.

'My resting state is that I'm a dweeb. I don't drink, I don't dance, and no one would ever accuse me of being cool. I get nervous in crowds and just want to skulk off into a corner,' Tan writes.

But he took Rob's advice again and went out to the west coast.

He quickly learned that he least got what he came for – some new gay friends.

Back at home, five days later, Tan got the call from the casting director offering him the job.

'Holy sh*t!' Tan screamed.

The guys he liked during the final audition turned out to be the other guys cast for the show –Antoni, Jonathan, Karamo and Bobby.

In this new role, Tan France segued into being the witty wardrobe whiz offering one makeover at a time and becoming a positive role model for LGBTQ people.

In his book, Tan offers wardrobe advice to men and women – from accessories, to clothing and shoes.

Men should drop the functional belt; don't live in your sweatpants. Go for a crew neck t-shirt as opposed to a V-neck, according to Tan.

Victoria Beckham tops his best-dressed list with Tilda Swinton coming in second, followed by Cate Blanchett, Cheryl Tweedy, Gigi Hadid, David Beckham, Zayn Malik, Justin Trudeau and NBA player, Russell Westbrook.

'Finally I had to have a come-to-Jesus moment', Tan writes.

In a conversation with himself, he told himself, 'You shouldn't pretend to be masculine if that's not you'.

He says he would catch himself sometimes crossing his legs or having a limp wrist – and he'd stop himself.

But after all he's now on a gay show so 'the jig is up!'

Tan hopes that one day there won't be a need to talk about being queer or gay or Muslim, 'when 'Me Too' is no longer a thing, and racism is no longer happening. I pray we get to a time when all of this feels obsolete'.