Attention, Guardsmen!

Following the valiant efforts of your comrades, the unfortunate mishap* in the regular delivery of the Regimental Standard has been resolved. You deserve commendation for performing so effectively without a steady diet of useful information from this august publication!

In compliance with Ordo Xenos restrictions, and to avoid any heresy, the entire surviving writing staff of the Regimental Standard has been liquidated** as part of a departmental restructuring. As such, we are happy to introduce the all-new writing team!

THE TEAM

Propaganda-class Word Generation Servitor Delta-7777884C

Newly converted into a servitor, this tireless writer can produce upwards of 10,000 words a day thanks to a combat-grade Frenzon injection system, advanced haemotropic cooling and careful electrocortical stimulation.

Propaganda-class Word Generation Servitor Delta-7777884D

Servitor D joins us from the Munitorum, after a long and esteemed career of tightening rivet 468-C on Leman Russ battle tanks. We’re sure that following the graft of pseudo-creative cogitators and a psalmic reformatting, you’ll find his writing “riveting” too!

Lord-Commissar Percy Faulteroy de Ville IV

Joining us as a creative consultant, Officer Percy brings both his top-class education at the Schola Progenium as well as the valuable insights of being the son of a Sector Commander. Percy has a wealth of knowledge on ground warfare, having served with the Commissariat for almost 48 full hours before being heroically discharged after a severe collision between his toe and a Baneblade.

Propaganda-class Word Generation Servitor Delta-7777884E

This servitor brings a lifetime of combat experience to the role of writer. Unfortunately, after a complete neural wipe due to insubordination in his former existence, he’s unlikely to remember any of it! Remember, roles of this kind with the Regimental Standard are always available to those Guardsmen with the curiosity to question their superiors.

We look forward to sharing these fresh, new perspectives with you, Guardsmen!

++ Thought For The Day: You are not required to think, only to act. ++

*Important Notice: Due to Munitorum regulations on the Regimental Standard, all material printed – even if by error – is to be followed as accurately as possible until appropriate amendments can be made to the regulations. HOWEVER, any Guardsman caught using the words “dakka”, “humie” or “krump” will be flogged. Commissars – make reference to Xenoanthropological Case Study 221XB: “The Digganobs” for advice on advanced deprogramming.

** In many cases, literally. All corpse-based substrates were then fed back into the new team in a remarkable show of efficiency.

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