
Amidst the pages of boozing, fist-pumping, and partying in Snooki's first novel—A Shore Thing—is an alarming scene involving Bella (cousin of the main character Gia) and some preppy assholes. Check out the excerpt after the jump.

So here's the setup: Gia (a fictionalized version of Snooki) and her cousin Bella are hanging out at the Jersey shore for the summer, working in a tanning salon called Tantastic. Although they spend their downtime on the hunt for "gorilla juiceheads," Bella agrees to go on a date with someone who isn't her type: A preppy named Bender. He takes her to a fancy restaurant (probably the kind with cloth napkins) and pays for an expensive meal and a bottle of champagne. While on the date, Bender starts laying it on thick, but Bella still doesn't find herself attracted to him.

No matter how hard she tried, Bella couldn't convince herself to have sex with Bender. But if she told him that, she'd hurt his feelings. And probably make him angry, considering how much he'd spent on her. Bella already felt guilty about it.


Then Bender starts coughing and tells her he has a rare blood disease called "hemotitis" and only has two months to live. With that information and enough champagne bubbling in her brain, she decides to accept an invitation to his house.

Bender has a roommate named Ed who sounds like a creep. The two guys have developed some kind of weird rape lair at their shore house, equipped with a video surveillance system that includes cameras in every room (including on the roof deck overlooking the hot tub), that they utilize to watch each other fuck "bimbos" they bring home, even though Ed—who likes watching his friend rape girls—always secretly hopes that Bender fails. Not because it would be better for the girl, but because it makes Ed feel like he's a better player than his friend. This is where it gets creepier—the "preppy" description aside, the entire scenario sounds eerily like an exaggerated version of what we've seen played out on Jersey Shore with The Situation and Pauly D, particularly in regards to their aggressive strategy of taking girls home to the hot tub.

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Anyway, Bender texts Ed "C4," meaning for him to watch the hot tub surveillance. And then this happened:

Ben was apparently trying to talk the girl into joining him [in the hot tub]. She kept shaking her head. What a cock tease. Why go home with a guy if she wasn't going to bang him? Ben waded over to get closer to her. Then he grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward him. She resisted, tried to jerk her arm free. But Ben held on tight, talking the whole time. he got hold of her other wrist. Oh, yes! As Ed watched, Ben pulled the girl right into the hot tub, in her clothes! She went under the water and sputtered to the surface. Ben didn't give her a chance to breath. He was all over her, hands everywhere. Once he got a girl in the hot tub, it was over. Done. Ben would pound her for sure, whether she liked it or not. Whoa, a lot of splashing! This girl was putting up a fight. Most whores would just give in at this point and accept the situation they were in. If she ate the dinner, took the gifts, came home with you, she was obliged to put out. If she changed her mind and didn't want to? Too bad. Things might get a little rough. She deserved what happened. Whores didn't respect themselves. So why should Ed and Bender respect them? Ed tried to zoom the function on the camera, adjusting the focus to sharpen the picture. He moved in for a close-up and could see the girl's face a lot better. When things got heated, most girls looked scared. But this one was pissed! Ed smiled. He liked the fighters. Ben tore her dress. Her tits popped out. "Holy cow! Look at those udders!" said Ed to himself, momentarily stunned by the splendor.


In the end, Bender wasn't successful because Bella ended up punching him and then throwing patio furniture at him before running away, crying.

In XX's interview with Snooki's ghostwriter Valerie Frankel—which also includes awesome tidbits of info, like what Snooki smells like—Frankel says about the date rape scene:

We wanted the book to have some depth, and one thing that does come up a lot watching the show-people drink a lot and get into dicey situations, and for the fans of the show, we wanted to put it out there that sometimes dicey situations can be scary. This is a reality they should be aware of. I can't speak for Snooki, I don't know that she has ever faced this, but it had its place in the novel.


"Snooki Drinks for Our Sins": An Interview with Her "Shore Thing" Collaborator [XX]