ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

David Costigan was overcome with a sinking feeling in his stomach last night when his life partner asked him if he had any sexual fantasies.

The city worker was nervous because he does – and they’re not the Disney picture book ones that involve whips, chains or the family Labrador.

Speaking to our reporters this afternoon, the chin-strapped-pervert said he cleared his throat, looked his partner in the eyes and started talking.

“I said my darkest fetish is to be cuddled and reassured everything is going to be OK,” said the 34-year-old sex freak.

“Life is hard and I’m constantly anxious that I’m doing it wrong. It’s nice to be told that everything’s going to be OK,”

“I know it’s not. Everything’s fucked and we’re all going to die much sooner than we want. But in the moment, it’s nice.”

Our reporter then put the phone down in disgust.

More to come.



