So you want to be a sinner and risk eternity in hell? So you want to masturbate? So you want to wank? So you want to jerk the wild turkey? So you want to smoke the dope, thong the bong, puff the magic dragon, or snort that coke? So you want to shag your best friend’s wife? So you want to cut him with a knife? So you want to steal his best friend’s life? So you want to sin?

Dear friends, the wages of sin is death. And sinners….go to hell. You know how high the rent is in hell? The RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH! You pay with your soul! For eternity! For sin! Do you want to sacrifice your immortal soul for a few quick looks at pixel pussy? Do you want to burn in the fires of hell while Satan shoves a pineapple up your butt and demons rip off your head and poop down your neck? Just for pixel pussy?!?! Do you want to go to hell? I tell you:

Turn off that sinful rock and roll music with its embrace of sex, drugs, and Satan. Turn off that pornography. Walk away from that donkey show. Don’t be a blumpkin eater. Turn your heart towards Jesus and your head away from your dirty magazines. Jesus is watching when you touch yourself, taking note of your sinful act of the flesh. He knows when you’ve been naughty…and he knows when you’ve been having naughty thoughts. Don’t you think that he won’t barbecue your soul in hell for masturbating while Debbie Does Dallas on your tv screen. My friends, the road to hell is paved with sin.

So you don’t want to go to hell? Repent! Embrace Jesus as your savior. Get on your knees, pray to Him, and feel the glow of His mercy across your face as you embrace His forgiveness. Jesus wants us to go to heaven, but the only way to get to heaven is through HIM. Reject sin. Embrace Jesus. Reject masturbation. Embrace the love of Christ. Reject pornography. Rejoice in Christ, who is real. Jesus loves you. Know Him. Let me remind you of the one path to Heaven:

He died for your sins. Accept His sacrifice, and you’ll be able to enter Paradise. I will be praying for you. You can pray with me with the following words if you would like Salvation:

l Savior, and ask y

Dear Jesus, I know that I am a Hell-deserving sinner. I believe that you are the Son of God, the Savior, who shed your blood to pay for my sins. I now believe upon You as my personal Savior, and ask you to please forgive me of all my sins. Please save me and take me to Heaven when I die. Amen.

ou to please forgive me of all my sins. Please save me and take me to Heaven when I die. Amen.