I haven't written about trolls much here on Scripting News, mostly because they have cost me so much, and I learned after a lot of experience that talking about them invites them in. And once they're in, they make you pay.

But now we have to study trolls, at least enough to help everyone understand how our political system is being dominated by one. And there is a simple fix, but it's hard to implement.

The simple fix

It's so important a lesson, learned so many times by so many people, through so much pain, that it has been codified into a mantra, so we never forget.

Don't feed the troll. Don't feed the troll. Don't feed the troll. Don't feed the troll. Don't feed the troll. Etc.

Yet we keep feeding the troll.

Why?

Probably because most people think the best of everyone, and if someone is saying something that's obviously wrong, we think they certainly want to be shown the right way to think. And trolls do everything to encourage us to believe they want to be shown the truth, but in fact they don't. They just want to troll you. They want your attention, your energy, and if possible they want you to draw more people to them.

Trump is a troll

The greatest troll of all time is Donald Trump.

I say that with some certainty even though trolling has probably existed as long as the human species. Never before have trolls had the awesome tool of the Internet to support their craft.

The Internet is to trolling what airplanes are to global travel.

Sure you could do it before, but now you can do it so much better.

And the tools for trolling keep getting better.

Mail lists were the ultimate sporting venue for trolls, because they gave everyone an equal voice. At any time a troll could halt the discussion and make everyone pay attention to him. Without moderation all mail lists become dominated by trolls, eventually. This is a fundamental rule of Internet discourse.

Twitter makes trolling a little more difficult because people have to follow you before they get your announcements. But if you can get people to RT you, then you'll get people to see your stuff even if they don't follow you.

One way to get people to RT is to say something they strongly agree with. An even better way to get RTs is to say something outrageous, so people can express their rage. Trump uses the latter form, more effectively than anyone before him.

However, immunity to outrage builds up over time. What pissed people off six months ago will barely show up as a blip today. Luckily for Trump as he rises in stature, from poll-leader, to presumptive nominee, to one of two possible Presidents, his tweets automatically get more outrageous, because now they have half the weight of the office of POTUS behind them. The idea of a potential President saying such and such adds a rage quotient that's hard to beat.

So we have the awkward situation where during the DNC, as the Democrats are putting on an incredible show, Trump is still commanding more attention than all the Democratic speakers combined. Because he said something more outrageous than you could ever imagine him possibly saying (which shows our imaginations still have to evolve).

On day two, he says he was just being sarcastic. Now we can debate whether or not that's possible. On day three, who knows what he says, but it'll be good. Etc etc. As long as we feed him, he keeps escalating the outrage, and we keep carrying his message, crowding out any other ideas. It's like a media filibuster. No one gets to say anything unless it's about what the troll just said.

Key point -- the only people who care about your condemnation are people who are already totally stoked with outrage about the troll. The people who love him love the fact that he tweaks you. Even people who hate him are fascinated by your rage. It's like stopping to look at a terrible car accident. Or a beheading by a terrorist. It's hard to avert your eyes. And eventually you become immune to it, and need a bigger thrill to draw the attention.

In sailing, it doesn't matter which way the wind is blowing, you can always adjust your sails to move in the direction you want to go. Same with trolls. As long as they're controlling you it doesn't matter if you like them or not. The only thing that makes a troll happy is attention. They probably prefer it if you hate them.

How to win with a troll

Try a mental exercise. Take a deep breath to calm whatever residual rage you feel about the troll. Now imagine what would happen if instead of erupting in rage over his comments about Russian spying, we had simply said Oh there's Trump doing his thing. It's not news. (It's not, it's like a dog biting a man, the most predictable thing ever.)

Now imagine if he never got any self-generated press ever again? That would be the end of Trump. You can report on polls. You can report on FBI investigations of him. Or his trial with Trump U. Or that HRC calls for him not to get security briefings, all that's fair. But you can't report any Trump-generated news. If it came from him, it's trolling. If it's news about him that he didn't control, it's fair game.

You stopped feeding the troll. And science has proven over and over if you do that, the troll will go away.

I got into a fairly heated discussion this morning with a cartoonist for the New Yorker, who thought at first that it was his right to call out Trump. Otherwise he would continue to make messes with impunity. I understand. He's acting as if Trump were a normal person and not a troll. If he didn't crave the attention so, and not give a damn if you know he's a bastard, your condemnation would register, and would cause him to tone it down. But in his case, since he is a troll, he just amps it up. Delighting his fans, and most important -- crowding out any other ideas and messages that need to get out. And in the past that has meant he wins. And it might mean it for the future as well (I don't think it actually will, but I do worry).

The way to send Trump back to his tower after the election is to do the hard thing. When you feel the impulse to condemn him, instead go to the window, open it, and yell I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore. Then close the window, delete the tweet and continue with your life.