I attended the school late last year, and it was an emotional and mental rollercoaster for me. I was already divided in my heart to say the least. One of the instructors stayed in my home for the week, and my family genuinely enjoyed his company. I found both instructors to be very friendly and warm on a personal level, and from the platform they were superb teachers.

As the week began I remember thinking that this could be a turning point for me, either restoring my trust in the slave or hammering the last nail in the coffin.

Admittedly, I enjoyed certain aspects of the school. But, it was less the curriculum than it was visiting with brothers I hadn’t seen in some time and the food was actually really good.

The afternoon session featured a part on organization and the “JW pecking order” was written out on a dry erase board on the stage behind the instructor as follows;

JEHOVAH

JESUS

F & DS

LEGAL ENTITIES

BRANCH

DISTRICT

CIRCUIT

ELDERS

PUBLISHERS

This was written on the board each day of the school, even though a few days didn’t even have parts referring to it , it was still re-written. I think it bothered me most when it wasn’t referred to, it was a giant , looming, not-so subliminal billboard demanding obedience and submission.

As I stared at it each day it dawned on me how far removed the average JW is from Jehovah and Jesus. As an organization who tells me they offer the closest possible relationship with God, the picture they drew for me on that dry erase board begged to differ. Having this diagram of how to reach God written 5 days in a row burned me like a branding iron. For the first time in my life , I felt like there must be a shorter route to Jehovah.

On Thursday , a few statements from the instructor were made that may prove to be the “nail in the coffin” at least mentally for me. These are a nearly verbatim recollection of his statements;

“ Brothers , if the slave asks you to do something that seems wrong in Jehovahs eyes, and you obey, how does that leave you with Jehovah? That’s right, your good with Jehovah. The slave will account to Jehovah for their decisions.”

“ You see, Jehovah can bless any decision made by the slave, even if it is a bad one, but he will never bless your disobedience to his organization.”

“ How does it feel to be the only people on the planet who can never be wrong?”

As a scriptural reference for a command that seems wrong, the account of Abraham being told to offer Isaac was cited.

This information was not new to me but for some reason it seemed to cast new light on my life .

We are not just a sincere group of bible students with the occasional overly eager expectation for the end, and a few embarrassing pictures of Rutherford.

With the issue of “ right and wrong” taken away from me , all that’s left is allegiance to the Effin DS.

The slave has put themselves in a position to demand the same sacrifice that Abraham was by Jehovah. They have already done so in a practical sense with disfellowshipped family members.

I would not pass that test.

My lifelong practice of unwittingly worshipping men has come to an end.

Thanks for listening.