This is the Viking ship fire pit available from Etsy seller ImagineMetalArt. It costs $400, which is a little bit (technically a lot of bit) out of my fire pit budget at the moment. The ship measures approximately 40-inches long and 16-inches wide, so basically imagine my penis but on fire and and with oars and a sail. Okay, that actually reads way less sexy than it sounded in my head. I kind of regret saying it, but still feel free to use it in your own Tinder profile in case you're trying to score a lover willing to wear a Viking helmet to bed. SAFETY PROTIP: keep the sex positions basic though, because I have been gored before.

Keep going for several more shots.

Thanks to Jen M, who wants a massive pirate ship fire pit complete with skulls & crossbones cut into the sails. Heck yeah, I'd roast marshmallows in that.