Could I take this opportunity to advise people to self-isolate in the Highlands of Scotland? Not many people around – and good walking country. I mention this because SNP MSP Kate Forbes has urged people from virus stricken areas not to come visit. You are risking lives, she says.

The virus spreads because we are a highly urbanised country and piled too closely to one another. The more we can disperse and self isolate, the less likely the virus is to spread. Public-spirited politicians should be urging us to get the hell out of urban areas. If you decide not to relocate, temporarily, to the Highlands, at least remember that this woman told you that you were not welcome in the first place.

So when this is over, you might be tempted to boycott the Highlands, leave it all to Kate, so she can enjoy solitude in those vast acres of emptiness characterised by economic stagnation, fish farms and, er, English expats.