Wheresmyturn Tue 20-Feb-18 12:39:49

I have a DD who is 25 and has a 2 year old DD of her own.



I've always tried to be a good mum to DD and her DBro. I'm single since their dad left me a few years ago, he never sees or speaks to either of my children and has never met my GD.



I live a short 15 minute walk from my DD. She visits me once a month on a Sunday with GD we have a roast dinner and my son comes out of his room for a change. This is the only time I get with DD/GD. I've offered to visit them at DDs flat, I've offered to meet her in town for a coffee with or without GD (DD is married and her husband is GD dad) - I always offer to pay as I know money can be tight with a young child, I've even offered to go to a soft play centre or swimming even though I hated these things when my own children were little. DD says she doesn't have time and she'll see me at my house on that one Sunday.



I wouldn't mind and would accept it but I see her MIL gets to see my GD once a week she looks after her on her own and then meets DD in town for a meal sometimes too. When I ask DD about it she says her MIL pays for GD to have private SALT because the NHS waiting lists for both were long - GD has a speech delay and glue ear - and that's why she gets to see her more because MIL insists on seeing her once per week minimum because she pays for the therapy and DD feels she has to make it up to MIL so buys her a meal once a month or so.



I feel really hurt. I work but can't afford to offer similar for GD, I didn't realise she was pay-per-view. The MIL will also get a huge bunch of flowers, box of chocolates, and a hand made card by GD from "her son" (aka DD) on Mother's Day, she gets similar on her birthday and at Christmas. I'm lucky if I get a 20p card from a charity shop. That's not to say I mind, I appreciate a card I just thought my DD and I were close and I'd see her more often considering I live so nearby. Her MIL is about half an hours drive a way so not a huge distance but it still stinks.



How can this be? It just doesn't seem fair. If it's relevant me and the MIL are the same age, and both still working so it's not a case of the MIL having more time I don't think. I just don't think my DD has the time for me anymore.