If you're an Assassin's Creed superfan and you need some new headphones, the Ubisoft Store in the UK has a nice "Listen Wireless" Bluetooth rig from Focal with a 15 meter range, 20-hour battery life, 15Hz-22kHz frequency response, and the Assassin's Creed logo emblazoned tastefully on the cups. If, on the other hand, you also happen to be in possession of $60,000 and a complete lack of reason or common sense, then perhaps these cans will be more to your liking.

The cans in question are the Assassin’s Creed Origins Utopia by Tournaire handcrafted headphones, created through the combined talents of a 3D artist, an art caster, and a goldsmith, all of whom "worked together with the [Tournaire] jeweler for several months." The headphones—aural artwork, really—are made exclusively in France, and will feature an average weight of 150 grams of 18k gold per set. Only ten will be released to the public, and they will sell for €50,000 each, which works out to just shy of $60,000.

Impedance? Sensitivity? Driver type? What are you, some kind of philistine? Considerations like these are for people who think that Beats are probably a little too extravagant for their budget. But you, my friend, are a consumer of means and discernment—and clearly what matters to you is not how they sound, or even how they look, but that the whole world knows that you can wear 60 large on your head like it ain't no thing.

Tournaire will accept payment via credit card, PayPal, wire transfer, or cheque drawn on a bank domiciled in France. Oh, and that swanky Bayek bust that would make an absolutely perfect display stand for these things? It's not included—you'll need to drop another €12,000/$14,100 for that. Tournaire promises delivery of the headphones (and the bust, because come on, don't be a cheapskate) within six weeks of order placement.

I've emailed Tournaire to inquire about getting a set of these headphones for review. I'll let you know what they say.