Researchers are now finding so many negative links between gaming and your physical and mental health - from self-esteem to dementia, anger issues to bladder control that theyre stopping just shy of outright blaming Halo for erectile dysfunction and Tomb Raider for the sudden surge in autism. Here are some of the many bizarre (but possibly bullshit) ways that modern science thinks video games are screwing you over.

#5. Poor Self Esteem

A study by a psychology professor at Kansas State University has found a strong link between body image and video games. According to his research, Professor Richard Harris says that only 15 minutes of playing video games featuring extreme body types can negatively impact your own body image. The men in the study were made to play WWE Wrestlemania for their allotted time, while the women were made to play DOA: Beach Volleyball. Though general decline in positive body image was noted across both sexes, the men more specifically reported much lower satisfaction with their lack of body oil and rage-induced veinage, while the women openly lamented about the lack of bounce customization in their quintuple-J breasts.

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"Any woman not built like this is a failure." -Video games

But its not like all video games will make you weep openly, wishing on every eyelash that you could wake up in the morning magically transformed into a pretty, pretty princess just the games that feature large, handsome, well-muscled men and busty, scantily-clad sex goddesses.

Thats tops like, what? 98 percent of them?

Most retro gaming is still probably okay, though - just dont go picking up Pac-Man if youre a short, fat, jaundiced quadriplegic. But then, if thats the case, youre probably not exactly bursting at the seams with sexual confidence in the first place.

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#4. Male PMS

A study by scientists at Stockholm University hooked up some teenage boys to heart monitors, and then split them into two groups giving one group a violent video game, the other a non-violent one. The results they found revealed a much higher heart rate variability in the violent group, which continued well after they stopped playing and even into their sleep that night. In general, higher HRV can cause a myriad of symptoms, from increased stress to seizures and loss of bladder control.