Since the founding of this great nation, our people have been oppressed for no reason except for the selfishness and bastardization from the United States government. The United States was founded upon the belief that I can decorate my salad with whatever toppings I want, and I can choose who I deem responsible to toss said salad. These are the most basic rights, that up until today, have gone unnoticed. This fact is the greatest transgression upon condiment equality in the history of mankind. Here we, the great people of the ranch loving community, can now see the glimpse of the day when we can freely adorn our cuisine with the greatest gift of the gods, the Ranch dressing. That is why I am asking you to stop whatever you are doing, and share this with all your friends and family. Together, we can take a giant step forward, leaving behind the shadow of discrimination, and enter a truly new era of mankind. Thank you, God Bless you, and God Bless the Hidden Valley in which we all must seek.