Caught in Traffic, a story about OWL Stage 3 Even without a patch, we are seeing significant meta changes. Image via Blizzard Entertainment

It’s been a long drive already and you’re visibly exhausted. Sipping away at your energy drink, you drive up to a red traffic light and several cars are in the left lane, while for some reason nobody took the right lane. From behind, you can’t see why nobody is using the right lane but since these other cars are in the front, you assume that there must be a roadblock or some such on the left lane.





Surely they have seen something that you aren’t able to from where you are standing. You feel further reassured because more cars are lining up behind you and are also staying in your lane. Peeking into the rearview mirror, you can’t believe your eyes. “Is that a clown car? There are way too many people in it! What the… are they repainting it on a public street?! I guess a yellow car with red side mirrors does look obnoxious…”





With a shake of your head, you reevaluate your decision to stand on the left side. Sure, you could switch lanes, but you don’t want to be the arrogant person whose hubris catches up with them once they’re standing in front of the obstacle and everyone is passing them by. Sure enough, one orange car with a Chinese license plate blasts past you. “I’ll be the one laughing when I don’t let you cut me off” you think to yourself with a bitter smirk.





And as it always does, the stupid traffic light turns red right as the cars in front of you pull away from you and you just barely don’t make it over. “Typical. Construction sites everywhere” you think to yourself, “I wish these urban designers didn’t slack off on their jobs and listened to the people!” Determined to find out what they messed up now, you scout the street for obstacles.





Curiously, all you notice are colorful letters crookedly written onto the asphalt with children’s chalk. The letters on your lane spell out “GOATS.” Confused, you look towards the other lane, searching for the road work that the first couple of cars must have seen in order for them to decide to stand on the left side.





Nothing. Not even a car crash or a road block. Only more colorful handwriting on the pavement spelling all kinds of words such as “Sombra,” “Pharah,” and “Doomfist”. The Chinese car that seemingly so rudely overtook you can only be seen in the distance.





Settling into the realization of how lemming-brained you’ve been, you notice an old plane in the sky. It’s pulling a banner with bold printed lettering. “DPS.”





Half a mile in front of you, you see the cars once in front of you blithely switching lanes. You chuckle to yourself and start switching lanes as your little heart desires. You press the pedal down to catch up. Far behind you, you notice the clown car explode in a display of fantastic fireworks...