Hello, you clever minx.

I’m not sure exactly how you found this, but since you’re already here… Make sure you’ve read THE BURNING WHITE, cover to cover. If you haven’t, go do that now! We’ll be waiting here.

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Now, if you haven’t read the Shawarma Scene yet (I did say cover to cover), go read it HERE.

But then stop. And don’t come back.

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No really. STOP.

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Last chance, then I’m washing my hands of this. Don’t come crying to me asking if it’s canon. I TOLD you not to read it.

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Fine. If you must…

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But one last thing: this is best enjoyed (enjoyed?) a couple months after you’ve had time for the book to settle with you. You weren’t supposed to find this so soon, dangit.

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A few minutes later, Winsen said, “Ugh. My stomach doesn’t feel so good.”

“You know, now that you say it…” Kip scowled at his cup. Sniffed at the aroma. “Is whiskey supposed to smell like almonds? My grandfather wouldn’t…”

Rea Siluz’s eyes widened. “Oh no. No! How’d I miss it?!”

Ferkudi sniffed at the cup. “That’s not almonds, is it?” he said. Then he collapsed.

“He tainted his own whiskey?” Dazen said. “No, he wouldn’t! Kip, who told you where–“

But then he cut off, and got violently ill.

Kip followed, and in between waves of hot flushing spasms, he cast his mind back. Andross had mentioned raising a glass with friends, hadn’t he? He’d said this occasion was almost enough for him to break out his oldest, best vintage. Then he’d gone on to talk of other things.

Only Andross could have arranged for all of them to have empty schedules right now.

In his moments of wild optimism, Kip had believed the man could change. Maybe, briefly, he had.

Now he’d changed back.

“Rea,” Kip said. “Please…”

“I can’t,” she said. “I can’t.”

The air filled the sounds of moans and vomiting. The light flashing from the fireworks cut through his closing eye lids, and then even that dimmed, darkened, went black.

In a few minutes, they were all dead.

And that is how the Lightbringer, Andross Guile fulfilled prophecy and killed his second king, Ironfist. He was publicly quite distraught about Ironfist’s death–and Kip’s, and Tisis’s, and Dazen’s, and Karris’s (he made no mention at all about the deaths of the rest of the Mighty). He mourned three days before placing his own people in all the most important positions of power throughout the Seven Satrapies. Then he used the investigation into who was to blame to root out several possible future enemies, including the satraps of New Tyrea and Blood Forest.

Andross Guile soon remarried, had another much more satisfactory and deferential family, and lived happily ever after, until–decades later–he died peacefully in his bed.

THE END.

P.S. And now you know the real ending of The Lightbringer series. But don’t tell anyone. Consider this our little secret.

P.P.S. How have so many of you read this? Who’s blabbering? The First Rule About The Real Ending Is You Don’t Talk About The Real Ending.