(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Dating is generally awful.

Sure, you might get some glimmers of joy and lust. Perhaps you met someone who strikes the perfect balance between actually responding to your messages and not seeming too keen. Maybe you had some excellent sex with someone who was perfectly fine with never talking again.

But the bad bits of dating are just so, so bad.

They’re upsetting, heartbreaking, and all too often very boring.


What’s handy is that the past few years have seen people coming up with catchy terms for the sh*t bits of dating, so we at least have a shorthand to describe people’s terrible romantic behaviour.



Like 2017, 2018 has been packed to the brim with terrible dating trends. Here’s a recap so you can read up and go into the New Year with all the depressing dating lingo you need.

Mosting is the act of coming on really strong before ghosting (disappearing without a trace).

A moster will talk about the future, call you the person of their dreams, and make a load of romantic gestures, only to ditch the relationship entirely.

It’s annoying because you weren’t even that into them to begin with, but their disappearing act still stings. Also, it’s such a waste of time and effort. Agh.

Oh, those little sneaks.

Shadowing is when someone poses with a hot friend who takes up the majority of their profile photos on a dating app. So essentially, these people are their hot friend’s shadow, and know full well that you’ll be lured into conversation because you falsely believe they’re the hot one in the picture.

It’s not full-on catfishing, but it’s still manipulative and a massive waste of time.

Check someone has at least one solo pic before you swipe right.

This dating trend is bad because it’s a miserable truth for many of us.

Obligaswiping describes the act of endlessly swiping on dating apps with no real intention of meeting it up. It’s not for fun, but because you want to feel like you’re doing something.

It only ends up making you miserable.

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Orbiting is a weird inbetween stop on the path to ghosting.

You’re no longer chatting or dating, but they look at your Instagram stories and like your tweets, as if they want to remind you that they still exist.

Annoyingly, it’s not enough interaction for you to call them out, but it’s visible enough to keep them in your general radar… or orbit.

R-bombing is when someone reads messages you’ve sent, but deliberately ignores them, so all you see is ‘read’ or those evil blue ticks on Whatsapp.

Taking time to respond is fine (aren’t we all trying to be less dependent on our phones?), but consistently failing to reply to messages, while letting the person know full well you’ve read them, is just rude.



Gatsbying isn’t a terrible thing to happen to dating by any means, but the term does make us cringe inwardly.

Gatsbying is ‘to post a video, picture or selfie to public social media purely for a love interest to see it.’

The existence of this word shows that people know exactly what we’re up to, which makes us shudder.

No, not catfishing.

Fishing refers to sending out a generic message to a bunch of people to see who’d be interested in hooking up, waiting to see who bites, and then taking their pick.

You may never be aware that you’re being fished, unless you regularly get invited to hang out, only to respond and get nothing back.

(Picture: Ella Byworth)

Pre-cheating. Making steps to cheat but not doing enough to land yourself in trouble.

So a flirty message that you can explain away as being friendly. Feeling out a relationship with someone else when you’re supposed to be committed.

Preating is sh*t.

Mountaineering describes the act of reaching for people way out of your league.

This isn’t particularly awful, but if you’re mountaineering it’s worth considering whether you really like your potential date, or if you’re just interested in the confidence boost that comes with dating someone defined as hot.

Cloutlighting is the combo of gaslighting and chasing social media clout.

Someone will bait the person they’re dating on camera with the intention of getting them upset or angry, or making them look stupid, then share the video for everyone to laugh at.


Thankfully if you’re reading this and you’re still coupled up, you’re safe from scroogeing for another year.

It’s when someone dumps their partner before Christmas so they don’t have to bother getting them a present.

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

You’re probably guilty of this. We all are.

Instagrandstanding is when you edit the way you’re presented on social media to seem more desirable to people you fancy.

It’s pretty standard, but it’s a bleak reminder of the separation of our real and internet selves.

Plus, you should never have to fake who you are or what you like to win over a date. They should like you for you.

Oh, cool, now we have a term to describe agreeing to go on dates purely so you can have a free meal.

You know what? No judgement. You enjoy that free spaghetti.

Just like preating, microcheating is testing the waters of cheating without going all out and having sex with someone else.

Think flirty chats, emotional intimacy, or secretly contacting an ex.

It’s microcheating if you know your partner wouldn’t be happy about it if they found out.

Be warned, clearing season happens in January. It’s when we’re so miserable thanks to Christmas being over, the cold weather, and general seasonal dreariness, that we will hook up with anyone just so we don’t feel completely unattractive.

You might bang an ex, or give that creepy guy who you don’t really fancy a chance, or put up with truly awful sex just so you can feel human touch.


It’s a tough time. Stay strong.

16. Hatfishing

When a guy wears a hat in all of his pics to trick you into believing he’s hotter than he is.

His hat may hide a receding hairline or a weirdly shaped skull.

There’s nothing wrong with losing hair, but making concerted attempts to hide what you actually look like isn’t okay. Be upfront so people can know they’re actually attracted to you before committing to a date.

Shaveducking is a nasty consequence of the rise of facial hair.

Is that guy actually hot, or is his beard covering up a weak chin?

Shaveducking describes the lingering unease that emerges when you realise that you’re not quite sure if you’re attracted to a man, or just his facial hair. Shaveducking, because you’d do anything to dodge that guy getting a shave and trimming off your affections in the process.

The horrible bit comes when the man actually does shave and you realise you are completely repulsed by his bare face.

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