One of the things that Why Does It Exist? has taught me is that you can get away with a shit-ton of dubious legal measures if you exist somewhere in the nether regions of Hollywood. After last week’s egregious ripoff of many of Hollywood’s best-loved films, we tackle Brando Unauthorized, a biopic done without any consent from the Brando estate and with all the integrity of a dollar-store R-Patz biography. Triple-threat auteur Damian Chapa (who has also portrayed Roman Polanski, Bobby Fischer, one of the Menendez brothers and… uh, Leroy Jenkins) produces, directs and stars as Brando, a particularly brave move considering this lumpy fortysomething also portrays Brando at the tender age of 16 – certainly the world’s doughiest sex symbol.

As told through the eyes of Brando’s no-goodnik junkie murderer son Christian, Brando Unauthorized celebrates the great actor and innovator for everything he did that was of no particular worth: showing his ass to Talia Shire, multiple fisticuffs and extramarital affairs, telling his dad to stick it where the sun don’t shine and various other sundry melodramatic nonsense. If Ulli Lommel somehow began directing fiction features for TMZ, it would look something like Brando Unauthorized.

Having reserved Brando Unauthorized months ago, WDIE contributor and workhorse pedant Mickey O’Narey joins us for a frank discussion of what Brando means to this world as well as a lot of gesticulating and microphone-peaking impressions of Brando. NOTE: Why Does It Exist? does not condone or condemn the usage of dubious Jersey Shore impressions.

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Dragon BFF by Which is Which is the featured track this week. You can find it on the 5 Songs About Creatures EP. Which is Which is performing as part of the FAST Festival in Sorel on August 17th and the Musique en Folie festival in Valleyfield on the 18th as well as La Sala Rossa in Montreal on September 30th.