Trying to come up with criticisms for any members of Mercedes-Benz’s S-class lineup can feel a bit like picking nits with a Monet painting—you’re nearly reduced to stabbing the canvas with a crayon just to find something worthy of complaint. Similarly, finding fault with the latest S-class coupe and cabriolet models takes some effort, an impression reinforced after we spent time in the updated-for-2018 versions of the luxurious full-size two-doors, which offer a new engine, the carmaker’s latest driver-assistance features, and subtle styling revisions.

The Holy Trinity

These changes follow quick on the heels of those applied to the four-door S-class. As with the sedan, the non-AMG two-door V-8 models, formerly badged S550, have been rechristened S560 and given Mercedes-Benz’s ubiquitous twin-turbocharged 4.0-liter V-8. Replacing a twin-turbo 4.7-liter V-8, the new engine stirs up 463 horsepower—a gain of 14—and the same 516 lb-ft of torque. The engine also benefits from a fuel-saving cylinder-deactivation feature that shuts down half of the cylinders under light loads, although only in the coupe version, not the cabrio. The S560 coupe comes standard with 4Matic all-wheel drive, but the S560 cabriolet is strictly rear-wheel drive.

A very similar—in this case hand-built—twin-turbo 4.0-liter V-8 makes its way into the Mercedes-AMG S63 this year, where it produces a mighty 603 horsepower and 664 lb-ft of torque. Here again, the 4.0-liter provides a gain in horsepower (26 ponies, to be exact), but its peak torque remains the same as the engine it replaces, a twin-turbo 5.5-liter V-8. Mercifully, last year’s at-times-jerky seven-speed automatic transmission—fitted with a multiplate clutch connecting it to the engine—is gone. In its place sits an impeccably behaved version of the same nine-speed automatic used in the S560, although with the clutch-pack coupler. All-wheel drive remains standard on the S63 coupe and cabriolet, but the system has more control over torque distribution than the outgoing setup. That nifty trick compelled Mercedes to rebrand this version as 4Matic+.

Mechanically, the 12-cylinder Mercedes-AMG S65 remains the same. That’s not entirely a bad thing, given the twin-turbocharged V-12’s 621 horsepower and 738 lb-ft of torque. The only downsides to the S65 are its occasionally clunky seven-speed automatic transmission (here with a conventional torque converter) and the lack of an all-wheel-drive option. Both can be blamed on the V-12’s mountain of torque, which is too great for any other Mercedes transmission or all-wheel-drive transfer case to handle.

In spite of their new engines, the S560 and the S63 motor down the road much like their predecessors. The 4.0-liter V-8 offers snappier throttle response than the ultra-smooth 4.7- and 5.5-liter engines it replaces. And we tip our cap to the S63’s nine-speed automatic transmission, which exhibits none of the low-speed slipping sensations, occasional gearchange stumbles, or laggard responses to manual shifts of the seven-speed unit. We suspect the S560 and the S63, like their four-door siblings, will be slightly quicker in our testing. The freshened S65 won’t be, and it likely will again be slower than the $70,000-less-expensive S63 due to its greater mass and lack of launch-aiding all-wheel-drive traction.

Every two-door S-class otherwise remains smoother than melted butter poured over a Teflon mattress. Setting the adaptive suspension to its Sport, Sport Plus, or—on the AMGs only—Race modes adds barely a whiff of starch to the baseline Comfort ride. They’re all quiet, too, even the cabriolet models—at least when their triple-layer acoustically lined cloth tops are raised. Those lids block out enough noise to convince you that you’re riding in a fixed-roof car; they also can be powered up and down at speeds up to 31 mph in as little as 20 seconds. As before, the cabriolet can effectively nix most front-seat wind buffeting at highway speeds with the top lowered, thanks to a power-deploying rear wind blocker and the pop-up air deflector that runs across the windshield header. A manually installed secondary wind blocker that covers the rear seats further helps preserve hairdos but generates a fair bit of noise.

Pretty Pretty

Every 2018 S-class coupe and cabrio, from the S560 to the S63 to the S65, receives updated front and rear bumpers, sparkling multi-element LED headlights, and organic LED (OLED) taillights. The S63 and the S65 gain a new grille with vertical strakes, referred to by Mercedes as the Panamericana grille as the look is inspired by the brand’s midcentury 300SL race car that won the 1952 Carrera Panamericana. This design is spreading through Mercedes-AMG’s lineup, having first debuted on the AMG GT R sports car, and it looks great on the S-class.

Inside, every two-door S-class has a new three-spoke steering wheel shared with the sedan. In what qualifies as a big deal among Mercedes faithful, the cruise-control switches have moved from a steering-column stalk to the wheel itself. The tiller also gains the same pair of touch-sensitive thumbpads as the S-class sedan and the E-class; the right-hand pad manipulates the center display, while the left navigates the digital gauge cluster’s menus. Those twin, 12.3-inch TFT screens now share a single glass cover. In addition to the steering-wheel pads and voice control, the COMAND infotainment setup can be manipulated via a touchpad on the center console, a rotary knob, and a series of hard-button shortcuts to key menus.

We generally find the new steering-wheel touchpads to lack accuracy and sometimes take a few swipes to respond to inputs, while the central touchpad and knob are more responsive and easier to use. The COMAND system overall is straightforward, so long as you don’t dive too deeply into its audio, navigation, phone, or settings submenus beyond say, changing a radio station or setting a new destination. There are an astounding number of vehicle parameters one can change, personalize, or turn off and on, but messing with them while the car is moving takes too much concentration. There! We found another scuff on the S-class’s shoes.

The rest of the interior carries over largely unchanged from last year. It is as decadent as ever, as illustrated by the massaging seats’ ability to initiate kneading by way of the verbal command “massage on!” The cabin’s effortlessness jibes well with the 2018 model’s upgraded semi-autonomous driver-assistance tech. A revised sensor package now allows for autonomous lane changes at highway speeds, while the adaptive cruise control can slow the car for curves, traffic circles, or exit or entrance ramps based on navigation data. As before, the lane-keeping function can self-steer for brief periods before asking the driver to put a hand on the wheel.

Say what you will about the necessity or practicality of a full-size two-door that starts at $125,495 for the S560, $168,695 for the S63, and $239,895 for the S65. (For the cabriolets, add $8800 to snag an S560, $11,800 for an S63, and $12,000 for an S65.) These cars exist to serve the wants, not the needs, of a moneyed clientele who demand style and a divinely isolated driving experience. The S-class coupes and cabrios continue to succeed wildly at those pursuits, while being as close to perfect as you’d expect given their prices.

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