Saying it would be a very dangerous plan to mess with fate, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has reminded voters that he is absolutely, without a question of a doubt, the only man destined to lead Australia for the next three years and beyond.

“I want Australians to listen very carefully to what I’m about to say next. This is not some little plaything to fuck around with. This is not a game. This is my destiny. It feels very right,” Mr Turnbull said.

“So this is an important test for voters. If you’re considering voting for someone else, think very carefully before you make a mistake.”

Mr Turnbull said it would be an election about jobs. “And I think we all know very well which job in particular we’re talking about”.

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