Your House All Alone

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A silly parody ofby your friend Lex Friedman

I’m my only friend

I’m not my only friend

But I just never see my friends

Cuz really

I stay distant from my friends

And loved ones



Epidemic ‘cross the planet and so now I’m

Stuck here at home like you

Make sure you stay in your house all alone

Not to put too fine a point on it

Scrub your hands raw with bleach and then Comet

Make sure you stay in your house all alone



I have a secret to tell

I’m hoarding tons of Purell

I’ve started bathing in it

And it’s in my smoothies as well



So the world must listen to me

Slow the spread of Covid-19

If you’re infected with it

One note, pronounced quarantine



This lockdown’s infinite

Like feeling desperate

It doesn’t end



Epidemic ‘cross the planet and so now I’m

Stuck here at home like you

Make sure you stay in your house all alone

Not to put too fine a point on it

Don’t shake my hand; instead we’re just noddin’

Make sure you stay in your house all alone



I’m my only friend

I’m not my only friend

But I just never see my friends

Cuz really

I stay distant from my friends

And loved ones



When I order delivery

The driver can not touch me

He leaves food at the door

Which I won’t touch till quarter past three



Haven’t had a friend in my room

With the exception of FaceTime and zoom

I need more toilet paper

Someone ship some very soon



I’ve binge watched everything

I hate when people sing

On balconies



Epidemic ‘cross the planet and so now I’m

Stuck here at home like you

Make sure you stay in your house all alone

Not to put too fine a point on it

Stay far away from me if you’re coughin’

Make sure you stay in your house all alone



While you’re at it

Wash your hands for 20 seconds

While you’re stuck in your house all alone



Not to put too fine a point on it

Scrub your hands raw with bleach and then Comet

Make sure you stay in your house all alone



Epidemic ‘cross the planet and so now I’m

Stuck here at home like you

Make sure you stay in your house all alone

Not to put too fine a point on it

I sang this song while I was hand-washin’

Make sure you stay in your house all alone

