What is a hot mess mom?

I realize that there are moms out there that actually have their shit together, but I am not one of them. I’m a hot mess mom. What is a hot mess mom? Well, I don’t know that there is a real definition, but here is what I think:

She doesn’t give a flying F*** about what anyone thinks.

Sometimes she lets her children eat cheese puffs for dinner (not every day, but most of you know the days I’m referring to).

She barely showers every day when they don’t have to leave the house.

She will walk around with breastmilk or other bodily fluids on their clothing without even realizing it.

Sometimes forgets to brush her teeth.

She lets her kids be kids. She doesn’t push perfection because she’s wise enough to know it doesn’t exist.

Her kids don’t dress cute. She doesn’t buy fancy clothes. In fact, a lot of their clothes come from thrift stores.

She uses treats to bribe her kids when necessary.

On the bad days, she drinks an extra glass of wine or eats 25 candy bars.

She doesn’t judge other mamas because she knows she doesn’t have it all figured out.

Most days, she just tries to survive.

She is a damn good mom.

Perfection doesn’t exist.

I basically just described myself in the list above, but I know there’s mamas out there that can relate. This mom thing has been an amazing journey for me. You see, I used to thrive on perfection. And then came my daughter. She has taught me that nothing is perfect, and that’s what makes life so great.

In the beginning, my strive to be the “perfect” mom is probably what pushed me over the edge with my postpartum anxiety. I didn’t want to make a mistake, and I wanted to be super mom. I let it get me to an extremely dark place, and I never want to go back there.

Kids are just messy. Gravity does not apply to baby poop. Seriously, it gets everywhere. Toddlers are walking disasters. My daughter can destroy any clean surface in a matter of minutes. She gets dirty when I try to make her look cute, and she always rips bows and headbands off within 30 seconds.

Hot mess moms are the best moms.

Being a hot mess mom doesn’t mean you don’t give a shit about your kids. Being a hot mess mom means that you simply don’t care about what anyone else thinks. We don’t put our value as a parent in how our kids look or act. Because, let’s face it; kids are going to throw shit fits or poop their pants in a fancy restaurant. They are going to slam their bodies down in a tantrum at the grocery store.

Instead of being embarrassed about how our kids look or act, we simply embrace it. You’re making a scene? Well, that is your problem, little girl. Hot mess moms are the best kind of mom because we’re not afraid to let our kids be kids. We don’t try to make them fit in a cookie-cutter box, and we let them have fun.

Cheers to all the other hot mess mamas out there! Our houses may look like a crime scene, and we may look like we were put up wet; but we are killing this parenting gig! XOXO

PS…you are a total badass, mama!