The NFL has a lot of problems for a multi-billion dollar organization — head injuries, employing alleged murderers and rapists, dogfighting rings — but little did we know that the most insidious side of the NFL might just be covered with hairspray and immovable smiles. Yeah, we’re looking at you NFL cheerleading! Five former Buffalo Jills, cheerleaders for the Buffalo Bills, recently filed a suit against their former employers. In the wake of the lawsuit, the Jills’ Code of Conduct and Etiquette Guide were released, and man are they weird.

The documents detail working conditions that sound super illegal, and at best advantageous regarding loopholes in the law in order to exploit cheap labor. By defining the cheerleaders as “volunteers/independent contractors,” the NFL can get away with paying them less than minimum wage while still tying them into insane working hours and regulations. Some of the crazy requirements include the Jills having to buy their own uniforms for $600 every year, and making upwards of 20 appearances for absolutely no money.

This is only the tip of the insane iceberg of the Buffalo Jills handbook. At one point, it describes the reasoning behind selling for a profit, details the correct way to use a tampon and explains how to find directions on Mapquest. Considering the fact that you have to be 18 and a high school graduate to be a Jill, it seems a bit superfluous to explain the obvious in such detail and in such a weirdly condescending manner.

At first it just reads like some kooky aunt who just wants to give you some good advice — strange but harmless — but then you realize that this is an actual Code of Conduct that actual adult women are agreeing to and it all seems a bit…disturbing. It’s fun to laugh at the insane rules until you realize that people are following these insane rules, and they have to follow these insane rules or they’ll lose their job. There’s an almost sociopathic undertone to the entire handbook, as it balances overly friendly and intrusive tips with evil landlord-esque exploitative jargon.

The fact that the NFL — where an average team is worth $1.17 billion — won’t even pay minimum wage is questionable. But the handbook of the Jills shows an even creepier side to the organization as a whole. As a Jill, it appears you are no longer a human being but a walking billboard for the Buffalo Bills. The cheerleaders are completely dehumanized and shortchanged by the organization they work for.

The Bills organization has a troubling amount of control over its cheerleaders: everything from their hairstyle to the way they answer questions to what they can post on their blogs is controlled. Seeing as the “friendly tips” are requirements, changing your makeup can get you suspended, “physique evaluations” are the norm and interacting with people you’re uncomfortable with is part of the job, it’s a wonder that cheerleaders can even fake a smile — oh wait, not smiling is actually grounds for termination.

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