click to enlarge SCREENSHOT VIA YOUTUBE

Golf cart thefts on Saint Louis University's campus have been weighing "heavily" on Dr. Fred Pestello.

Saint Louis University has a problem: Its golf carts are disappearing. Four of them, in fact.The Jesuit university's president, Dr. Fred Pestello, sounded the alarm in an ominously scored video posted to YouTube yesterday. Its title: "We Need to Talk.""This is serious," he intones. "It's been weighing heavily on me. Enough is enough."These golf carts, Pestello hastens to add, are not meant for quote-unquote ride-sharing. "These are not Lime golf carts you can just take and leave wherever," Pestello tells the camera, referencing the city's app-accessible bikes and electric scooters. "The SLU squirrels is my witness. We will put an end to Golfcartgate."All kidding aside, Pestello urges anyone with knowledge of the thefts to call 314-977-3000. And while we lack the specific knowledge to help solve this mystery, we will say this: If we were riding around in stolen golf cart, trying to look inconspicuous, we'd likely assume our best chances of blending in were in Soulard ....