I have been putting off writing this for a while but in the last week I’ve had four people say to me that they “don’t like feminism” and I’m tired of having the same conversation over and over. So, if I’ve linked you here, thank you for being open-minded and checking it out. Odds are, you’re misinformed about feminism.

This article is divided into quiz questions so you only have to read the things that are relevant to you and your viewpoint. Heeeere we go!

Q: Why don’t you like feminists? (skip to the letter you choose below)

a. Because they’re too extreme and in-your-face.

b. Because they hate men.

c. They are all butch lesbians.

d. Because feminists want the best of both worlds – chivalry and “equality”

e. Feminism is no longer necessary.

f. They’re whiny and it isn’t as bad as they think. Things are equal.

g. Women aren’t equal to men and they’re disrupting God’s law.

a. People hate atheists because they’re too “in-your-face” and other people hate Christians because they’re “too pushy” and some people hate the LGBT community because they throw Pride parades. The truth of the matter is that everyone belongs to some group that some other group hates. There is always a minority within a minority that is louder, and those are the ones are (for obvious reasons) the most conspicuous. There are some extreme feminists—yes—but there are many more quiet ones; even in-the-closet feminists who won’t say that f-word because it elicits too much negativity in the public sphere. Just remember that encountering one person who labels themselves as something (feminist, Muslim, humanist) shouldn’t color your view of the whole movement. This is what we call a “sweeping generalization,” my friends.

b. I love men. Love them. I’m a straight girl and I’m flirty, and I also have a lot of dude friends. What I don’t like is when [the minority of] men who assume that women are dumb or incapable because they are women. I don’t like when people ask me if I’m worried about getting married, but they don’t ask my brother who is two years older. I don’t like when people think that women can’t be CEOs or politicians because they’re “too emotional” and when people believe that women are incapable of logical and/or critical thinking.

Like I said, I love men. But I also love women. This is a huge differentiating factor for women who identify themselves as feminists and women who are actively anti-feminist. I believe in sisterhood. I believe that women should help other women. So often are we told that we should hate each other and that all of our worth is based on whether a man wants to bang us or not. How often do you hear, “I only hang out with guys because other women are too much drama”? No. That’s dumb! I like both sides! Isn’t that okay?

c. First off, don’t be a dick—you’re rude. Secondly, women don’t exist solely to be pleasurable to your eyes. Thirdly, it’s not even a true statement. Feminism is about choice. Right now, women have very little choice in how they look/dress/talk/act/cut their hair in order to fit societal expectations. When my hair is short, people are constantly calling me a dyke, calling me things like “Albert.” I like my hair short because it’s easier. On that same note, why should I have to wear a bra? I know that you want my boobs to look big and perky, but I get real sick of underwire after a couple hours. Some women don’t want to shave their legs – it’s a hassle. Why do you care? Why should you have any say in it? Men get to decide whether or not they shave their faces but we don’t have a choice in whether we shave our armpits?

In that same vein, women who want to wear push-up bras because they like how it makes their boobs look? Get it, girl. You like makeup? Great! Do you want to wear high heels every day? Go on ahead and do it. Feminism is about choice. Some girls are girly. Some girls are tom boys. Some girls are straight. Some girls are gay. That’s it.

d. This is the answer that makes me the angriest. I can guarantee that the women who complain about men not buying them things are not the same women who are self-proclaimed feminists. Do I expect someone in front of me to open the door and hold it open for me? Damn right I do. Just like I would hold the door open for the person behind me. Is that so crazy? I don’t want to be treated like some delicate object. I don’t want to be “treated like a woman,” but I do want to be treated like a person and I would hope that people would treat other people with respect. It seems obvious to me. I don’t understand what people don’t understand.

e. I’m not going into this one too heavily because it’s just too much to take on right now, but I will give you a quote that sums it up pretty nicely:

“Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She then asked a group of men why they felt threatened by women. They said they were afraid women would laugh at them.”

f. See “e” g. Congratulations, you are truly not a feminist. But, of course, if you really believed that you wouldn’t have come to read this post anyway 🙂

You have some other reason for not liking feminists? Please let me know. I’d be glad to add an answer for you.

For the men reading this who think “this is dumb, I treat women likes equals,” I will leave you with this: “not all men harass women, but all women have been harassed by men.” This is the truth, and it can be really scary.

In fact, I just got a Taser yesterday.

❤