After celebrating Gandhi Jayanthi by posing ten questions to Narendra Modi through tweets, Sagarika Ghose organised a quiz between Narendra Modi and Rahul Gandhi by posing tough questions on ten subjects to help the public form an informed opinion about the two Prime Ministerial candidates. Since Rahul baba is not on Twitter, both the leaders graciously agreed to appear on Sagarika’s critically acclaimed “ Facepalm Face the People” to answer the questions:

—Understanding of Social Media—

Sagarika: In a Twitter survey I recently conducted on their preference for the next Prime Minister of India, 90% of them gave the same answer. What is it?

Modi: Haha. That is easy. The answer is ‘Narendra Modi’.

Sagarika: Wrong. 90% of them said ‘You are a bimbo’ or sentiments to that effect in more colorful words. 8% voted for [Modi] and 2% for Rahul Baba.

–

Sagarika: Rahul baba, are you on Twitter?

Rahul: No.

Sagarika: Correct answer, Rahul baba. You are one Indian politician who really gets social media.

—History—

Sagarika: Who is my favourite freedom fighter?

Modi: WTF yaar? How am I supposed to know? Nehru?

Sagarika: Wrong! I adore him, but that’s not the answer. You would know if you gave a damn about the Indian freedom struggle, Mr.Modi.

Modi: How is that even related?

Sagarika: It is totally related. If you read about the freedom struggle, you would have thought of me when you read about ‘Jhansi Ki Rani’ Lakshmibai. We are so similar. *takes up an imaginary Lakshmibai pose*

Modi: FML

–

Sagarika: Rahul Baba, which Indian freedom fighter gave us the slogan “Freedom is my birthright and I shall have it”. Lokmanya Tilak or Dr.Manmohan Singh?

Rahul: Hehe. Good one. Should be that Tilak guy. Although, to be true, Dr.Manmohan Singh also shouted that slogan at a party meeting recently and everybody laughed.

Sagarika: Tilak is the correct answer, Rahul Baba. Only a true patriot understands the struggle for freedom. *Gives Modi a condescending look*

—Economics—

Sagarika: Modiji, what percentage of GDP does Benin spend on primary education?

Modi: Who? Menon?

Sagarika: Wrong answer. Gosh! do you know anything at all? How will you revive a crumbling economy with such little knowledge of the global economy?

–

Sagarika: Rahul baba, name an Indian Prime Minister with a PhD in Economics.

Rahul: Dr.Manmohan Singh

Sagarika: Correct, again. Clearly shows not only your understanding of economics but also the sacrifice you once made to let an economist PM to run Indian economy.

—Constitution—

Sagarika: How many words are there in the Preamble of the Indian Constitution?

Modi: What? How is that important?

Sagarika: That’s because you don’t believe in the Indian Constitution, Mr.Modi. For us common folks, it is important. Every word of the Constitution is gold for us. Now answer the question.

Modi: I don’t know. 75?

Sagarika: Wrong. Unbelievable, you are.

Modi: What’s the correct answer?

Sagarika: I don’t know. I tried counting many times but kept losing count mid-way. It’s so difficult, ya. But then I am not the one looking to become the next PM, am I, Mr. Non-Believer Modi?

–

Sagarika: Rahul baba, Who piloted the draft Constitution in the Constituent Assembly? Raja Ram Mohan Roy or Dr. Ambedkar

Rahul: Never heard of the first one. So, I am going with Dr.Ambedkar

Sagarika: Correct Rahul Baba. It shows your complete trust in our Constitution. *Gives Modi another condescending look*

—Governance—

Sagarika: Andhra Pradesh government has this year launched ‘Bangaru Thalli Scheme’. What is it for?

Modi: Come on, yaar. I don’t even know what that means. Ask me about Central government schemes or Gujarat schemes.

Sagarika: Modiji, don’t change the topic. Answer the question.

Modi: Scheme for exporters?

Sagarika: Wrong. You and your pro-rich pro-business mentality. Bangaru Thalli means ‘golden girl’. It is ‘a welfare scheme that supports the BPL family of a girl from her birth till her graduation.

–

Sagarika: Rahul Baba, Indira Awaz Yojana is named after which former PM of India?

Rahul: ummmm…Dadhi maa?

Sagarika: Brilliant. You knowledge of governance is astounding.

—IQ—

Sagarika: Modiji, If I am going from Delhi to Calcutta for Diwali, which train will take lesser time? Rajdhani Express at 80KMPH or Junta Express at 40KMPH?

Modi: Rajdhani Express.

Sagarika: Wrong again. I don’t go to Calcutta for Diwali. I go for Durga Puja. Clearly, you have no IQ, Mr.Modi.

–

Sagarika: Rahul Baba, If India has 28 states and a new State of Telangana is carved out of Andhra Pradesh, how many States will there be in India?

Rahul: 29

Sagarika: Brilliant! Correct answer, Rahul Baba. Your IQ is off the charts.

—Secularism—

Sagarika: What is the word for Secularism in Latin?

Modi: Hain? I don’t know.

Sagarika: I knew it. I knew it. Horrible communal fellow, you are.

–

Sagarika: Rahul Baba, how many letters are there in the word Secularism? 1 or 10.

Rahul: Come on yaar. That is too easy. 10.

Sagarika: Brilliant Rahul baba. I always fully believed in your secular credentials.

—Environment—

Sagarika: If temperature rises by 2 degrees celsius by the end of this century, what percentage of ice on Antarctica will melt?

Modi: I don’t know. *resignation and defeat writ all over his face*

Sagarika: Of course. Shouldn’t really expect a selfish man like you to care much for our environment.

–

Sagarika: Rahul baba, are summers hotter than winters?

Rahul: Yes.

Sagarika: Correct answer. Wish other wanna-be PMs cared as much as you for environment.

—Foreign Policy—

Sagarika: Name the capital of Samoa?

Modi: WTH, man! *getting angry* I don’t know. Aloo?

Sagarika: Not Samosa, Mr.Modi. Samoa. Answer is Apia. You not only possess no knowledge of tiny island nations but you also have a condescending attitude towards them. Attributes that are not suitable for a PM.

–

Sagarika: Rahul baba, name two neighbouring countries.

Rahul: Pakistan and Bangladesh.

Sagarika: Correct. *tears welling in her eyes* Your knowledge of foreign policy is profound.

—Inclusive Development—

Sagarika: Yesterday, I made poha. But I added one special ingredient which no one else does. What is it?

Modi: How the f*ck am I supposed to know that yaar? *getting very angry* babaji ka thullu?

Sagarika: Wrong. The answer is ‘A small cup of Old Monk’. Only a truly inclusive politician will understand the needs of all his people.

Modi: WTF, man! What kind of person puts Old Monk in Poha?

Sagarika: Stop talking out of turn Mr. non-inclusive Modi!

–

Sagarika: Rahul Baba, which of the following words start with an ‘I’? Inclusive or Divisive?

Rahul: Easy. Inclusive, of course.

Sagarika: Correct answer. Ah! The way you say ‘Inclusive’ just blows my mind, Rahul Baba. You are just like your great grandfather, Nehru.