If you follow @BlueJays on Twitter, you’ll have noticed a couple things lately: one, that the account now appears to be run by your insufferably upbeat kooky aunt, and two, today is photo day!

Ahh, yes, the annual ritual of Blue Jays players having their pictures taken, and then getting mocked by shitlords on the internet. Feels like spring already!

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Of course, there isn’t too much to mock in the batches of pics pouring in to Getty Images right now, but I’ll see what I can do…

Seriously, people. Quit. Encouraging. Biagini.

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* * * Dalton Pompey working a top notch Bautista beard… Advertisement - Continue Reading Below * * * Cat Latos’s owner… Advertisement - Continue Reading Below * * * Somehow not Jason Grili. (It’s Chris Smith, who… exists, apparently). * * * The actual Grilli Cheeeeezzz * * * J.P. Howell has finally made it off Gilligan’s Island and holy shit I’m old… * * * I really want to know what’s up in the corner of that room… * * * And here we have scheming 80s movie villain, Gavin Floyd… * * * Steve Pearce demonstrating that red belongs nowhere near a Toronto Blue Jays uniform (except, I suppose, in the dumbly over-sized maple leaf designed to give you a patriotic tingle for a Rogers-owned brand). * * * Would anybody object if I just called him “King Shit of Fuck Mountain” all year? (Sit down, Donaldson!) * * * If you look in the bathroom mirror by candlelight and chant Melvin’s name he will haunt your dreams. So… basically the same as if you’ve ever watched him against right-handed pitching. * * * Bo just wishes he was at the Turkey’s Nest. * * * Put him in a plaid shirt instead of his Jays uniform and Kendrys Morales is every guy in Leslieville. * * * Harold Ramirez is 22 years old. * * * Lourdes Gurriel shows us the clearest evidence yet that the Blue Jays’ new front office truly believes neck is the new market inefficiency. * * * Somebody tell Chris Sabo here that nobody believes his name is actually “Dan Jansen”. * * * Matt Dermody looks like the spawn of A.J. Burnett and Jesus. I think we’ve been overlooking him. * * * Tulo smiling? The photographer must have said, “Say, waking up at four in the morning to go take grounders!” * * * TFW yer a fucken boss * * * OK, I think that’s about enough for now…





