Hampshire's Ashes opener was second only to Kevin Pietersen on tour but he now fears that his England days are over

Michael Carberry smiles wryly as he explains how he shocked himself while turning towards an uncertain future. As a 33-year-old, and still new, Test cricketer preparing for yet another season in a sport which can make even the best players feel lonely and vulnerable, Carberry is trying to secure a future career path by learning how to become an electrician.

"I've given myself a couple of belts, mate," he says with a throaty chuckle when admitting he has been zapped by the electrical hazards of his apprenticeship. "But you're not a spark until you've done that."

Yet England's cricket hierarchy, rather than any faulty electrical connection, has given Carberry his most jolting hurt and disillusionment. Carberry, England's second-highest run-scorer behind Kevin Pietersen in the disastrous Ashes series, speaks quietly but his plain words have a strong impact when he details some simple truths about the way the management have treated him and other players in their squad.

The opening batsman starts by suggesting that his absence from England's one-day team, and the Twenty20 World Cup squad, "gave me time to reflect and get that anger out. Now I want to come back with Hampshire. They're my focus."

It could have been different. Carberry faced more balls and spent more time at the crease during the Ashes than any other England batsman. He was admirably composed against a hostile Australian attack led by Mitchell Johnson and Ryan Harris – scoring more than 30 on six occasions. Yet, even if he batted for over six hours longer than his opening partner and captain Alastair Cook, Carberry's Ashes average was only marginally better – 28.1 compared with 24.60. He is also not about to make any grandiose claims for himself. When the 695 balls he faced are mentioned, Carberry quips: "I wish they had been runs."

His dilemma is clear. Just as he scored 30 and 34 on his Test debut for England in 2010, against Bangladesh, he failed to turn impressive starts in the Ashes into significant scores. He hit only one half-century and concedes that he needs to score more heavily as a Test opener.

He was at his best in his final innings in Sydney when he batted with real freedom. "Something clicked. Maybe through the series I played to the situation. Obviously if we lost Alastair early or we were two down, and you're 500 runs behind, you think: 'Let's try and weather the storm.'

"I've come back to Hampshire and I'm excited about the next phase of my career, knowing what I need to do to dominate. I know that, technically, I'm good enough to survive. But survival is not batting. You're there to score runs."

Carberry expresses concern that, like Pietersen, he is about to be jettisoned. "I'm sitting here disappointed I'm not involved in the one-day setup. I seem to have been left out for some unknown reason. I don't think it's a cricket reason because my one-day stats speak for themselves over the last few seasons. So I'm disappointed the selectors haven't fronted up and spoken to me."

Has Carberry heard anything from England since returning home? "No. Nothing – which is disappointing. But it's the way they tend to do things."

Carberry shakes his head in the empty nets at Hampshire's ground. "It's obvious that since the tour ended some very, very strange decisions have been made. But even in Australia [during the limited-over series when England were beaten in eight out of nine matches] I sat there game after game, watching us lose, thinking: 'What more can I do to get in the squad?' – bearing in mind that I was without doubt the leading batsman in one-day cricket last year.

"I think my last score playing for England in ODI cricket was 63 in winning a game in Cardiff we shouldn't have won against Australia [Carberry followed up that knock with another 30 against the same opposition]. To suddenly be on the sidelines, not getting a game, just didn't make any sense."

Did he ask anyone for an explanation? "I had a brief chat with Ashley Giles [England's limited-overs coach] during the fifth ODI in Adelaide and his response was that he didn't really know. If you don't know, mate, I sure as hell won't know."

Carberry's rueful laugh turns into a shrug. "It's that age-old word: man-management. I've accepted over my short and breezy England career that that's the way the selectors tend to do things. I wouldn't say I've been in the loop when it comes to why I've been left out. I've had to try and work it out for myself which, again, is disappointing."

He clearly believes that, with Giles in the running to become the head coach in all formats, England's man-management needs drastic improvement. "It's been an ongoing thing for years. I don't think it's something that's going to change immediately. They have a way of doing things.

"I've been in the game a long time and you know some guys get given a shorter rope than others. I'm probably going to be a bit controversial here but throughout my England career, even as a schoolboy, I've always had that shorter rope – for some reason. I don't think much has changed now that I've stepped into the Test and one-day arena. I'm not going to hide my emotions. I was bitterly disappointed.

"You don't mind if it's a winning team because you understand then why you're not playing. There's obviously a winning formula and they're sticking with it. But when you're watching a team getting beaten I couldn't quite understand why I didn't fit into the plans. I played a warm-up game in Alice Springs and batted in my natural way and got a quick-fire 47."

"At the age I am, I need straight answers. To be told I'm on the radar or being talked about? All these lip-service cliches don't interest me any more," Carberry reiterates.

Do other players in England's squad share his disenchantment? "I don't think it's me alone saying this sort of thing. There've been players before me and current players now who have felt the same thing. It's fine when you're in the team but just outside the playing squad you're not really sure if you fit in at all."

Does Carberry fear for his future in international cricket if Giles takes complete charge and also becomes England's Test coach? "Leaving Adelaide after our brief chat, I've got to be honest, it didn't fill me with a great deal of optimism. I feel that this is a question he should have answered. And, OK, if it's not him answering, it should be one of the selectors. But that that's the way England like to do things. It disappoints me because I'm quite an approachable guy. Maybe I'm a bit straight-talking but it's the best way to be in this world – say what's on your mind."

Before everything soured, Carberry thrilled to the fierce task of his first Ashes series. "I didn't get involved in all the politics but I enjoyed the challenge of facing Johnson, Harris, Siddle and Lyon. That's what Test cricket is all about. It's a test of technique and, more importantly, courage. I felt I stood up well to those guys."

He was heartened by the praise he received from the Australians. "Yeah, massively. I had chats with Chris Rogers who's had a similar career path. I also spoke to David Warner who is at the other extreme as an opening batsman. I had great admiration for the way he played. He was very free. It showed me how to put the pressure back on the bowlers. Broad and Anderson are experienced Test bowlers – and at times we didn't know where to bowl at him. We were setting defensive fields within the first 10 overs."

Did Carberry receive more positive feedback from Australia than England? "Yeah, I would say so. I've played against enough Australians to know they're very cagey with their compliments so I must have shown a glimpse of something for them to say: 'Look, mate, you stood up through some serious spells …'

"Talking to great Australians like Ian Chappell, they said: 'Son, you've got to look to dominate. That's the key at this level. You can't just survive against bowling attacks that good.'

"It was the ultimate test. Everything was ramped up tenfold, the intensity, the cricket, the way Australia played. Mentally, every innings was a challenge. But I thrived on that challenge. Walking out to bat and Johnson and Harris are flying in? I like that and I like big crowds. It heightens all your senses. You definitely feel alive. In county cricket you very rarely get those experiences."

Flights and accommodation for every wife or girlfriend of all the other England players were paid for as they were reunited for Christmas and the Melbourne Test. In another sign of managerial insensitivity, only Carberry's request that his mother be his invited guest was denied. "Apparently it's ECB policy. It's mainly for guys with their kids and when they have long-term partners or wives, and I have neither. But it would've been nice because my mum's never seen me play Test cricket. It would've been especially nice at the MCG, in front of 92,000 people, to see your son walk out. That doesn't happen too often in a lifetime. So it was disappointing."

Other players were also wounded. Steve Finn's Ashes fate, for example, was far worse. Once hailed as England's great bowling hope, England seemed unable to repair his shattered confidence and Finn barely featured. "Finny's a lovely kid," Carberry says. "It's sad to see someone struggling so it would be more a case of trying to keep his spirits up, which a lot of us had to do to various members of the team. You could see it was wearing them down, getting beaten game after game, not playing at our best. The media were on our back, there was a lot of pressure, people were leaving the tour."

Was he shocked when he heard that Pietersen, England's best player, had effectively been banned from ever playing international cricket again? "I'd have to say so. Yeah. It was a big surprise because I don't think anyone saw that coming. Through the tour, certainly, Kev was very helpful to me. Over the years Kev, as one of the greats of the game, has always been very helpful in talking about the mental side. In England's position you want to retain that knowledge as much as you can. You hope he will still be around the county game for the benefit of the next generation."

Kevin Pietersen (@KP24) This makes interesting reading guys - http://t.co/9og9xlYVa9. Hmmmmm.....

Carberry has endured many lows. Nine years ago he came close to walking away when, having left Surrey for Kent, he felt unappreciated in county cricket. Shane Warne, captaining Hampshire, rescued and transformed him in 2006. A resurgent Carberry then suffered a career-threatening illness in 2011 when blood clots on a lung kept him out of cricket for nine months.

"I've been dealt some harsh cards," Carberry says as he explains the reasons why, early in 2013, he completed a two-year electrician's course in three months. "I had to decide what I'd do in terms of working for the rest of my life. It was good. But it's difficult to recreate that buzz you get from cricket."

It will also be hard to recover from his jolting disappointments with England, but Carberry is resilient. His future life, as an electrician, will have to wait. "I've played some of my best cricket over the last few years. So I'm looking at the next five years. Hopefully I can finish with a pretty good career that people can look back on and say: 'Well, OK, he may not have had a lot of opportunities at international level but I certainly enjoyed watching him play.'"

As Carberry begins Hampshire's final warm-up match on Tuesday, against Middlesex and Finn, an ambivalent smile creases his face. "The best thing to do is start the season well and give myself the best possible chance. That's all you can do. If they still decide that they want to look in another direction? Yeah. I'm not going to sit here and say it wouldn't disappoint me."

• A clarification relating to this article was published on 22 June 2014.