At Instant Lolly, we’re a payday loan broker with a sense of humour. We know that a guide to not wasting money is as good as an invitation to merciless ridicule coming from us — but rest assured there are some far more insane expenses than our interest rates are alleged to be. If you’ve fallen prey to any of these pointless purchases, never fear — there’s hope for you yet. Check out these ways you’re burning what you earn, so we can put this fire out while there’s still time.

Lottery Tickets

Spending any significant or regular amount of money on the National Lottery is a poor life choice. Unless you’re an exceptionally lucky person who fancies their chances in a 14 million to 1 bet, we think you’re better off trying to be struck by lightning or killed in a fireworks accident.

For any hopeless optimists out there, here’s a page on the Lottery site where you can find out which numbers are the most common, and which ones are definitely probably going to be randomly selected soon.

Food Packaging

Doing the big shop every couple of weeks or so can be a heavy enough experience without the awareness that you’re being exploited by promotional voodoo — but for your sake, we’re going to burst the marketing bubble. If you’re buying a shiny new bottle of Ketchup, make sure you’re paying for the sauce and not the supplementary packaging.

Promotional teams spend a whole lot of time figuring out how to get you to spend more, which means it’s worth paying extra attention to exactly what you’re getting out of the transaction so you can be absolutely convinced that you’re not wasting hard-earned Ketchup money.

Pedigree Pets

Designer gear is a hokey enough concept when it doesn’t extend to living creatures – but the pedigree pets mentality is one we just can’t endorse. Bragging rights on account of your pure-blood pets aren’t worth the perceived glory that comes with them — especially when these pedigree animals are often bred against natural selection and animal safety in the name of purebred pride.

Instead of spending several times as much on the real deal, ditch the Levi’s mentality and treat yourself to an affordable mongrel with the character to compensate for its shameful ancestry.

& Clothing for Animals

Worse still than insisting on breed purity is clothing someone unable to give consent – and we still mean pets. If dogs were meant to wear onesies or body-warmers, evolution would’ve taken care of that. The reasons that we as human beings wear clothes simply don’t apply to animals – they don’t have the social inhibitions that we do, their fashion consciousness is limited at best, and they have much simpler ways of attracting the opposite sex. Au naturale may be a little progressive for us, but leave the animals to it.

Tanning Salons

If you don’t have the genetic skills to tan naturally, we more than understand your need to fake that sunkissed glow — but note that there are safer and infinitely more affordable alternatives to the infamous sunbed.

The harmful UV rays a sunbed throws your way damage the skin from both a health and aesthetic standpoint. The harm caused to the DNA in your skin cells can increase the likelihood of malignant melanoma, the most serious form of skin cancer, down the line — hardly worth the risk when you can get your hands on some DIY fake tan with added sunscreen for golden tones and safe skin cells.

Bottled Water

Water is free, so why are you paying for it? One of the greatest blessings of living in a developed country is that we’re in the privileged position of having complete access to clean running water – but somehow these big name brands are still sweet-talking you into parting with money in exchange for exactly that.

Instead of paying £1 every time you want a bottle of water, invest a quid or two in a lovely plastic water bottle and refill whenever it takes your fancy. That way, you save the environment one day at a time and make some much-needed financial savings while you’re at it.

Things You Already Own

Two wrongs may not make a right, but two rights most definitely make a wrong. Making one awesome/affordable purchase becomes a miserable waste of money when you duplicate your efforts. Whether it’s DVDs, books or monthly subscriptions, paying for the same thing twice is just about the most depressing thing in the world – imagine hitting the 200% sales, because that’s exactly what you’re doing when you buy another one instead of getting the second one free.