After being trounced by John Cena in a war of words this past Monday on WWE Raw, Roman Reigns has fired back with a volley of verbal zingers including “I know you are but what am I?” and “Poo on you.”

Reigns took to Twitter today after reportedly spending the past 48 hours consulting his copy of Mad Magazine’s Compendium of Snappy Comebacks.

Among Reigns’ more notable rebuffs:

“Hey @JohnCena, you suck! Stamped it, no erasies!”

“Hey @JohnCena, if you love WWE so much, why don’t you MARRY it?!”

“I think @JohnCena is the greatest WWE Superstar ever……… NOT!”

“Hustle, Loyalty, Respect? More like Schmuscle, Schmoyalty, Schmespect. #ZING”

“Listen, @JohnCena, I think your (sic) really great….. ON OPPOSITES DAY.”

“@JohnCena is always saying U Can’t See Me. I wish I couldn’t see him, because he’s so UGLY.”

Reigns, reportedly embarrassed by the verbal beatdown he suffered at the hands of Cena, is also reportedly planning to reinvent himself in several subtle ways.

For example, this coming Monday on Raw, he is expected to reveal his doctorate in “advanced thugonometry,” and unveil his new catchphrase: “Your eyes don’t work.”