Browse > Home Politics / Michael Voris Hair, Trump Hair Get Together For Drinks | EOTT LLC

Michael Voris Hair, Trump Hair Get Together For Drinks

Just days after Super Tuesday, Donald Trump’s hair reportedly called Texas Catholic and apologist Michael Voris’ hair to “comb on over to the bar” to celebrate the victory.

According to reports, Trump’s hair told Voris’ hair that there would be “Hell toupee,” if he did not eventually win the GOP nomination.

“Listen, hairs where the story ends for the other nominees, alright?” Voris’ hair reportedly said, “You got the nomination locked, so just relax and take a breath. It would literally be unbeweavable if you didn’t win it. So hat’s off to you.”

Trump’s hair later went on to ask Voris’ hair whether he ever just sat back and pondered Hamlet’s question, “Toupee or not toupee” after contemplating the sad state of affairs in Washington and the Vatican, to which both replied at once “Toupee! Not even a question,” before laughing and finishing their pints.

“It really is a sad state in the Church, that’s for sure,” Voris’ hair bitterly told Trump’s hair. “There’s just so much corruption in this post-Vatican II Church that you got be Sheerlock Combs to get to the bottom of who’s really pulling the strings in the Church. Sadly, I’m not that guy, because ain’t no sheers coming near this puppy, amiright!”