Praetorial Profile Blog Joined May 2011 United States 3631 Posts Last Edited: 2012-07-17 04:50:14 #1

Talk about these wonderful rodents! I will include quotes via PM.

Quality hamster stories will be added to the OP every Sunday in the Hamster Stories section, following EST. Images will not be added to the OP unless they are amazing.



WARNING: No talk of eating hamsters anymore. This is unnecessary and brutish.



Table of Contents

I. Definition of Hamsterhood

II. Introduction

III. Benefits

IV. Commentary on Hamsters

V. Pictures(Lots of them)

VI. Hamster Stories



I.

From Wikipedia:

Quality hamster stories will be added to the OP every Sunday in the Hamster Stories section, following EST. Images will not be added to the OP unless they are amazing.: No talk of eating hamsters anymore. This is unnecessary and brutish.I.From Wikipedia:

Hamsters are rodents belonging to the subfamily Cricetinae. The subfamily contains about 25 species, classified in six or seven genera.[1]

Hamsters are crepuscular animals which burrow underground in the daylight to avoid being caught by predators. Their diet includes a variety of foods, including dried food, berries, nuts, fresh fruits and vegetables. In the wild they feed primarily on seeds, fruits and greens, and will occasionally eat burrowing insects.[2] They have an elongated pouch on each side of their heads that extend to their shoulders, which they stuff full of food to be stored, brought back to the colony or to be eaten later.

Although the golden hamster (Mesocricetus auratus) was first described scientifically in 1839, it was not until 1930 that researchers were able to successfully breed and domesticate hamsters.[3] Pet golden hamsters are descended from hamsters first found and captured in Syria by zoologist Israel Aharoni.[4]

Hamster behavior varies depending on their environment, genetics, and interaction with people. Because they are easy to breed in captivity, hamsters are often used as lab animals in more economically developed countries. Hamsters have also become established as popular small house pets.[3] Hamsters are sometimes accepted even in areas where other rodents are disliked, and their stereotypically solitary nature can reduce the risk of excessive litters developing in households.



II.

Hamsters are the most adorable creatures known to man. They can be hyper, lethargic, nervous, patient, and can emulate many other human features. Hamsters also do not carry many of the same dangers as other pets.



III.

-First, hamsters are not carnivorous. This means that unlike dogs, cats, and rabbits, hamsters are incapable of chewing your face off in your sleep(there are documented instances for each of these).



-Secondly, hamsters are small. This means that they require less of your total income on food. This boosts your economic situation. As such, if you are poor, buy hamsters.



-Thirdly, hamsters can hear sounds in the ultrasonic range. Because of this, your hamster will be able to alert you if a tsunami is incoming, or some other threat(I don't know physics, sorry). This can be crucial to your survival if you live in tectonically active areas, such as Japan or Los Angeles.



IV. Expert Commentary

Well, I've always resented hamsters because ever since I was a child, people always thought that hamsters were really cute. I became jealous, because they didn't say that about me. So for the longest time I never had anything to do or say about hamsters, and cut them out of my life in protest. However, recently with the aide of several therapeutic programs, I have begun to be able to appreciate them again and found out that they are reall

~CyDe

hammsters are a cosmic gift to be treasured by all the world

~RedJustice

Four score and seven years ago our hamster fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in tasty treats, and dedicated to the proposition that all hamsters are created equal.

~Anacletus

the hamster cult has already taken hold in this thread

~Jaaaaasper

It takes the continuous efforts of fifteen hamsters to keep the TorteBot up and running.

~marttorn

time to start a hamster thread

~Praetorial

What about deep frying them? That might compliment their boniness.

~McFeser

all i can say is that if there is an ABL mafia, i am sending a severed hamster head to marttorn.

~daPHREAK(he is a bad man)

How many hamstaz fell victim to tha streetz

Rest in peace young cricetinae, there's a Heaven for a 'G'

be a lie, If I told ya that I never thought of death

my hamstaz, we tha last ones left

but life goes on.....

~Plato

you should be more accepting towards hamster pics

~OpticalShot

hamsters is the way to go.

~Iyerbeth

Chicks have those scaly, little, baby velociraptor legs.

Dwarf hamsters are essentially herbivorous, miniature kittens than never grow up. They're a little bit rounder, a little bit fluffier, have a little bit less tail, and 100% less claws. Plus they scare dogs into as well as queen cats do.

Hamsters are cuter.

~-_-Quails

camels evolved from hamsters.

~JingleHell

Go with it, join the hamsters

~Synwave

Hamsters are the spawn of Satan.

~blubbdavid

Never enough hamsters!

~jpak



V.

[/QUOTE]

+ Show Spoiler +

RIGHT?

II.Hamsters are the most adorable creatures known to man. They can be hyper, lethargic, nervous, patient, and can emulate many other human features. Hamsters also do not carry many of the same dangers as other pets.III., hamsters are not carnivorous. This means that unlike dogs, cats, and rabbits, hamsters are incapable of chewing your face off in your sleep(there are documented instances for each of these)., hamsters are small. This means that they require less of your total income on food. This boosts your economic situation. As such, if you are poor, buy hamsters., hamsters can hear sounds in the ultrasonic range. Because of this, your hamster will be able to alert you if a tsunami is incoming, or some other threat(I don't know physics, sorry). This can be crucial to your survival if you live in tectonically active areas, such as Japan or Los Angeles.IV. Expert Commentary~CyDe~RedJustice~Anacletus~Jaaaaasper~marttorn~Praetorial~McFeser~daPHREAK(he is a bad man)~Plato~OpticalShot~Iyerbeth~-_-Quails~JingleHell~Synwave~blubbdavid~jpakV.[/QUOTE] NOTE IMAGE HEAVY

+ Show Spoiler +



courtesy of charpi







VI.

+ Show Spoiler [theBALL's story] +

On June 27 2012 00:37 theBALLS wrote:

Here goes my story.



So first as a disclaimer, I'm Chinese. If you already catch the hint, leave now or forever hold your peace.



I don't live in China, but I do have very distant relatives who do. When I visited them back in 2008, they had a very special welcoming reception for us. They threw a cute little shindig for us-- nice decor, poppy music and a wide spread. A very, very wide spread.



So my (distant) family are basically self-sustainable. They live on an enormous farm with fruit, vegetables, chicken and duck. They are considered to be a wealthy farming family with a rich history and a long lineage.



So I began helping myself to the feast there was Peking duck (awesome, you have to try), suckling pig, herbal chicken-- the works. It was amazing. Rounding it off with a glass of Chinese wine, it was one of the most memorable meals I've had to date.



So I went into their home, and I saw 3 cages, each with about 4 hamsters each. They were cute, well-fed and very loved by the family.



Thanks for reading!



+ Show Spoiler [Flyingdutchman's story] +

Hamsters haven't been very lucky in our household. My younger brother had a hamster, and when he was away on vacation our cat tossed the cage off the desk and managed to get hold of the poor thing. She tried to pull it out of its cage through the bars, but the head wouldn't fit. So when my older brother and me found the cage the only thing left was the the hamsters head firmly lodged between the bars of his cage.We told my bro that he died peacefully in his sleep, first I had to scrub the blood out of his carpet which was a bitch.



After that my little bro got another hamster. As with the previous one our cat was more than interested, and she almost got this one too. The poor thing survived the feline assault, but was scarred both physically and mentally. The cat had mauled his face leaving him with one eye and one hell of a hostile attitude. I was the only one willing to grab the little psycho out of his cage and hold him when his cage needed cleaning. I had to use a wash-cloth around my hand, because the hamster would bite anyone or anything near him. He spent the rest of his life climbing and chewing the bars of his cage.



Anyone that wants a hamster cage in his room, I hope you aren't a light sleeper because the little furballs are nocturnal and will run on their wheel all night long :0



oh shiii..forgot that my younger brother lurks on TL



+ Show Spoiler [SeeKeR's story] + On June 26 2012 12:36 SeeKeR wrote:

My hamster story:



Back in 4th grade, our class had a pet hamster. His name was Scooter. He was the cutest thing in the world. I literally squealed like a wee little lad everytime I saw him.

Every week, one student got to take Scooter home to care for him. I was absolutely ecstatic when it became my turn. I was so excited as I brought Scooter home in my mom's car. (I was too scared to go by bus so I called my mom and told her to pick me up) My mom wasn't so thrilled about the idea of having a hamster in the house but she saw how happy I was and allowed it.

Anyways, we get home, and I was so jumpy as I brought him into my room. I immediately took him out of his cage and began petting him and cuddling him. He was THE CUTEST MOTHERFUCKER EVER!!! Scurrying up and down my arm, running around the room as freely as a hamster can. I laughed like crazy and was having the time of my life.

My brother came home from middle school later and met Scooter. Just like me, he fell in love with Scooter instantly. We had so much fun creating obstacle courses for Scooter. We used tissue rolls, books, our desks, etc. etc. It was the greatest time ever!!! (important thing to note: my mom never allowed pets, so having Scooter was like a gift from God for me and my brother)

As the days went by I just kept getting sadder and sadder as I realized I would have to take Scooter back to school soon. We had a little ball that Scooter would run around the house in. That ball was so awesome. I loved chasing Scooter around the house while he was in that little ball. (only downside was the ball needed holes so that Scooter could breathe. Which meant his poop would fall out of the ball and I'd have to clean that up often) But apart from that, Scooter was like my and my brother's best friend.

I loved taking care of him. I loved feeding him and giving him water. I loved watching him run around on his wheel. I just loved watching him. Whether he was doing something or staying still or sleeping, it just didn't matter. I loved Scooter.

Then the week was up. I had to take him back. Stifling all my tears, (my brother didn't cry since he wasn't as young as me but he sulked a lot) I brought Scooter back to class so that a different student could take him.

I remember how much my heart broke as I handed Scooter's cage back to my teacher. It was the hardest time of my life...... I lost the only pet I had ever had the chance to take care of.



Years later, I talked to my 4th grade teacher and found out Scooter had died. I cried. I cried tears of sadness because I missed him. And tears of joy because at least I got to take care of him.



Goodbye Scooter, you were amazing

+ Show Spoiler [Fueled's story] + On June 26 2012 18:24 Fueled wrote:

But now for my story.



I've had hamsters as pets for about 15-16 years. I have a lot of good memories with all my hamsters, but one hamster memory stands out the most. Chester (my teddy bear hamster) and my 8th grade science project.



Now the major science project for 8th grade for my school was the Rube Goldberg Machine Project. We had to have a certain number of steps and what not and it was to be graded on that. Well I decided to make a machine called "Good Morning Hamster". It worked, too! Now what it was was a giant wooden frame, the hamster would go down a PVC pipe > would then go onto a little elevator > when the wooden floor of the elevator hit the bottom of the machine thats when it started to work. While Chester was going through another PVC pipe to reach the end of the machine, the machine was putting food into his bowl, water into his bowl and it lowered a little cup of treats. When Chester finally made it through the other PVC pipe he found his food, water and a cup of treats waiting for him. Good Morning Hamster!



Well to make a long story short...I did a ton of test runs with this machine and Chester never let me down. It worked and he always went through without any problems. Well...then came the day I had to bring in the machine to school and show the teacher/class. I brought Chester to school in his hamster traveling cage and had help bringing in my machine (the machine was pretty big). It was my turn to go, I set everything up, got Chester out and began my machine...but...Chester freaked out. With all the people gathered around watching him he got scared and wouldn't go down the first PVC pipe. He just stayed at the top with his behind sticking out and kept pooping. Everyone laughed and I talked to my teacher that he was afraid and this normally doesn't happen. So he agreed for me to come after school to try again. Sure enough it worked like a charm then. Got an A++ for that project. VI. FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!