Check Your Fridge: Perdue Is Recalling 50,000 Chicken Breasts After They Left The Factory Without Getting A Little Kiss Goodbye

If you were planning to cook up some chicken for dinner tonight, you might want to double-check the package after this startling announcement from one of the world’s largest chicken suppliers: Perdue Farms is recalling 50,000 chicken breasts after they left the factory without getting a little kiss goodbye.

Yikes. Perdue’s PR team has got their work cut out for them if they’re going to recover from this massive blunder.

Perdue issued the recall this morning on all boneless, skinless chicken breasts sold within the past eight days after a plant worker reported to upper management a breakdown in the packaging process that allowed an estimated 50,000 chicken breasts to leave the plant without a line worker first giving each individual piece of chicken meat a sweet little goodbye kiss. In a statement released this morning, the remorseful poultry company provided a mailing address for its processing plant where customers can return any Perdue chicken breasts bought within the recall period so they can be properly embraced before being sent back out for public consumption.

“It has come to our attention that over the past week, thousands of Perdue chicken breasts were shipped out to grocery stores nationwide without an employee first picking up the package, telling the chicken breasts, ‘Goodbye, you are loved,’ and giving them a little kiss,” Perdue Farms CEO Randy Day said in the statement. “We are issuing an immediate recall on any Perdue chicken breasts bought within the past eight days so we can have a chance to kiss them goodbye and wave tearfully as the delivery truck pulls away from the factory. We also strongly urge members of the public not to attempt to kiss the chicken themselves, since that just won’t have the same emotional significance.”

Perdue’s statement goes on to assure customers that the company’s quality-control team is now taking every measure necessary to ensure that no additional customers are sold chicken breasts that were treated so coldly and callously so as to not receive their special kiss goodbye. Company officials are also urging customers not to eat any of the unkissed chicken breasts under any circumstances because then the chicken breasts would have come into this world and left it without ever knowing it was truly loved.

Oof. Well it sounds like Perdue Farms knows it messed up royally, but only time will tell if it’s able to right the ship after this epic screwup!