(Editor's note: Aight people, this is satire. Stop emailing me.)

After the Warriors used injury warfare to win there championship* a lot of people made a big deal about Coach Steve Kerr going to a small lineup by removing Andrew Bogit and playing Draymond as center. But most people didnt realize what these moves really means, and that is that Steve Kerr is racist against tall people.

This may seem crazy at first but if you look at it objectivly there is no other answer for it. Commen sense says that getting taller people is better because there closer to the basket and dont have to jump as high to dunk. Also you have heard all of the analysts remind us how important it is to have Length. Using a small lineup goes against conventionol wisdom - which doesn't make sense because its conventionol wisdom for a reason. Going small means your basically going against years of basketball gurus, most of which are smarter than Steve Kerr. Instead of listening to them, tho, Kerr is letting his predjudice get in the way of his commen sense.

I have heard from some anonamos sources that Kerr, who is also rumored to have been called "Short Steve" back in the day, is trying to turn the NBA into a short persons league by trying to make it "hip" or "cool" to use small lineups. I beleive its a slippery slope and who knows where it could lead. Before we know it the game we all love could be played by horse jockeys. Our only hope is that the NBA investigates these strategties and determines that they are cheating.

Speaking of cheating I think the NBA needs to take a long hard (TWSS) look at the Warriors balls because something is definitely up there. They shoot the ball extrordinarily well. In random spots this would be completely understandable, but if you have ever studyed statistics you know something called the "Agression to the Mean" says that eventually things like this should return to the average. To put it in lame man's terms, this means that eventually the Warriors should have regular shooting percentage numbers. The fact that this has not happened means something is up.

My theory is that the Warriors have taken a page out of Tom Brady and Bill Belichecks book and are deflating basketballs. This would allow them to get a better grip on the basketballs and make them shoot better. However the other teams, who are not cheaters, are use to regularly inflated basketballs which means they would shoot worse with the underflated balls.

If the NBA wnats to protect the integrity of its game it needs to investigate this matter ASAP. If I am Adam Silver I get my buddy Roger Goodell on the phone and ask him for the number to Ted Wells. For one thing Wells is already well schooled in the natural gas laws. Plus he knows how they react in all types of temperatures so if the Warriors are doing something with there thermostats, he could pick up on that too. If that isn't enough he knows exactly the tale-tale signs of deflaters and what to look for in the locker room. Once Wells is able to check this out we will see just how good a cook Chef Curry is when he doesnt have the MSG of deflated bballs to spice up his cooking.

Speaking of Chef Curry, I think the league also needs to look into him expesially if the balls turn out not to be deflated. He is hitting to many shots in a unnatural way. Im not saying hes taking PEDs but I think something else is going on.

If you do a little investigative journalism on google maps you will realize that where Golden State plays is really close to a place I like to call Sillicon Vally, which may not have implants like its name implies but it does have the most of the worlds hi-tech companies per capita in the world. Its perfectly concevable that the owner of the Warriors went to some of the smartest nerds and paid them buttloads of money to make Curry into a 3 point shooting cyborg. That is the only logical way to explain the crazy shots he hits on a incredibley frequint bases.

This also explains why Curry is bringing Riley to the press conferences. Most people think it is because he is anti-writer or because he might want to avoid the tough questions about the game but really its because he knows no one will ask him about his being a cyborg when his daughter is around. Its the perfect way to keep his true idenity secret but still look charming.

If the NBA wants to keep its integrity from being ruined by a bunch of cheaters it needs to investigate the Warriors right now because right now they look like white girls at Starbucks in the fall: cheaters, cheaters, pumpkin eaters. And if the league finds any evedince of cheating, the Warriors there title should be stripped and given to a team that plays the right way.