I had the pleasure of reading an article this morning from the Guardian.

You may read it for yourself here.

If you’re lazy, like most of the developed world is apparently, I’ll summarize it for you here:

The majority of people have not seen any increase in income for the past 8 years.

Now, I know some of you are going to try to point the finger at the benevolent job creators, who are tasked with paying the income of the jobs they’re creating. But remember, every time you point the finger there are four pointing back at you. And clearly you’re just not working hard enough.

Never mind that you’re already spending an inordinate amount of time working.

Never mind that revenues continue to soar.

The problem here is that you aren’t working hard enough. Because if you were, you would be paid more.

You see, we live in a place called The Real World™ and in The Real World™ people work for money.

And hardworking individuals who pull themselves up by their bootstraps are rewarded for their labor by those who are smart enough to be born into a family with connections and capital. And it seems that the trend these days is that people have gotten tired of pulling but still demand compensation.

Well, you can’t expect to get something for nothing, can you?

Now, there’s no need to get all uppity. Sure, productivity has shot through the roof, but workers can’t take credit for that, can they? I mean, really, it’s machines and automation that have been streamlining the process and considering the benevolent job creators are the ones who own the machines, it doesn’t seem fair that workers share in those profits, now does it?

No, I didn’t think so.

And let’s not forget the fact that the world economy is still in recovery, after all.

2008 was a rough year all around. Yes, I suppose the benevolent job creators were the ones who were partially responsible for the way things shook out, but can you fault them for trying innovate and disrupt and generate more revenue? And yes, it was completely necessary for the same job creators to be bailed out with tax-payer dollars. You wouldn’t want the economy to fall flat on its face, would you? I mean, you think you’re in bad shape now, just imagine how much worse things could be.

Never mind the fact that taxes are mostly generated from workers who aren’t smart and hardworking enough to pay the exorbitant fees of the best and brightest accountants to hide their funds from the sticky fingers of Uncle Sam.

And no, of course nobody should go to jail for what they did.

It was an accident after all and does it seem fair to send people to jail for accidents, even if millions of lives were ruined? I mean, predatory lending and ursury aren’t technically illegal. At least, not when everyone is doing it. Besides, there was the intention of giving everyone more opportunity, even if the side effect was that they are now yoked to a mountain of debt they can’t pay.

Really, if you want to make more money, you should go back to school.

Of course, everyone should get an education, but like I said before- nothing in life is free. So take on a little more debt with the hopes of a better future. Yes, you may already be working a 60 hour week and have a family to maintain and support, but if you’re truly hardworking and industrious, you can squeeze in an extra hour or two each day taking online classes from one of the many for-profit universities that exist. Of course the benevolent job creators will look at your shiny new diploma and give you more money, especially when there are hundreds of thousands of other people with the same exact sheet of paper.

Work will set you free.

Everyone has to make sacrifices. The benevolent job creators are the one who hold the world on their shoulders. They give us a gift with the jobs they create every day. Yes, they might not be the most pleasant tasks, but they are offering fair compensation for your labor, so you should be happy to get what you’re getting because they can always turn around and find someone who’s willing to do it for less. Instead of standing around with your hand out asking for more, why don’t you busy those fingers with more work instead? If you work harder, I am certain the benevolent job creators will reward you for the extra effort and certainly not hoard all of the profits for themselves.