Apple SVP Phil Schiller displays what is either an Internet-connected tablet or a filthy porn machine. REUTERS/Robert Galbraith Tennessee lawyer Chris Sevier is taking legal action against Apple because (in the words of CNET's Chris Matyszczyk) "its products are exposing him to rottenness at his core."

Put it another way: Sevier is suing Apple because its devices are capable of displaying porn.

He alleges that he is, in fact, a victim of this capability.

His 50-page complaint begins by qualifying that "the complainant loves Apple," but Sevier lays out his reasoning on why Apple should implement some sort of "safe mode" to block out porn on our iPads, iPhones, and computers.

Matyszczyk writes that this all started when Sevier "was trying to log onto Facebook.com when a completely innocent maneuver – a spelling mistake – landed him on F***book.com."

The mishap seems to have traumatized Sevier: "The Plaintiff could no longer tell the difference between Internet pornography and tangible intercourse due to the content he accessed through the Apple products, which failed to provide him with warnings of the dangers of online pornography whatsoever."

This of course led to trouble at home: "The Plaintiff began desiring younger, more beautiful girls featured in porn videos than his wife, who was no longer 21."

A surreal case, to be sure. We will hold our tongues and let you arrive at your own conclusion. A full copy of the 50-page complaint is embedded below.

Chris Sevier Apple Complaint