VISITORS are sharing photos of the eerily deserted pages of LinkedIn as everybody gives up on bullshit self-promotion and settles for the job they have.

The social media site is down to mid-00s levels of peace and quiet, following widespread agreement that now is not the time for wanky posts about the fast-paced world of some career that really doesn’t matter and in which there are no new jobs anyway.

Marketing manager Joanna Kramer said: “It’s a small miracle.

“Everyone’s so focused on holding onto their current position that my news feed is no longer polluted by video of someone on stage at the Brentford Data Storage Conference or listing a new invented skill.

“The once-deafening cries of recruitment consultants have been silenced. The bellows of consultants are no longer heard. It’s almost a pleasant place to be.

“I just hope that when all this is over we can learn some lessons and go back to using LinkedIn for its original purpose: checking out ex-colleagues who we always fancied. Or hated. Or both.

“Sod goats occupying Llandudno or fish in Venetian canals. The sense of hope I get from this is a million times stronger.”