Beto O’Rourke seems intent upon making the biggest goofball possible of himself.

Among other ridiculousness, he’s promised to fight against privileged wealth — as he backstrokes in his own, from inheritance and nuptials (here).

When a politician promises to wage war against the wealthy, that sounds to me as if he’s/she’s focused on American failure rather than success. Or, at least, that they’re trying to win the poor’s vote by making them covetous. Still, I’ll listen to every single word they have to say — so long as they first give away 100% of their net worth, minus that of the average American.

Otherwise, they’re full of it.

Given his rhetoric, Beto’s several millions of dollars away from me pencilling him in.

Wanna see what marrying into a half-billion dollar family and trying to pretend otherwise looks like? Wanna watch someone try to gain the White House as something they’re not, rather than who they really are?

This may be his goofiest move yet.

On Monday, the a**-waxing, ball-scrubbing poet posted a video:

Hey — that dude must be an Ultimate Everyman!

He must be just like me! Welp, that settles it — he’s got my vote.

All he has to do now is sell every single asset his family has, but hold onto something worth $288,700…then put all the cash in the back of that truck and whistle and wait.

It oughta be empty by sundown.

In the meantime…

GYAH.

Hey, Beto, millionaires don’t have to change tires. I know a guy who delivers sandwiches for a living, and even he has AAA. You can certainly be rich and do your own work; but c’mon, dude. A video of it?? Why?

Witness the Twitter:

What does this have to do with anything? This man is in desperate need of help. — MRO (@MichaelOlden4) August 12, 2019

He's just like us! — Sometimes gets it right (@Iampersonhuman1) August 12, 2019

This actually depicts what he really does. A)Let air out of tire B) Get someone to film him C) pretend to fix problem while showing how incompetent Francis is. — SeeBeyondTheIllusion (@Taffi801) August 12, 2019

😂 Pretty soon we'll be watching this guy get a colonoscopy — Mike Commisso (@CommissoMike) August 12, 2019

I can't wait for the part where he lifts the truck w/ one hand while replacing the tire with the other.#FakePolitician #RealPopcorn#RobertFrancis#MAGA #Trump2020 #KAG — The Deplorable Truth (@LeftyLieBuster) August 12, 2019

Guess what Robert? You aren’t interviewing for a job at Tire Man. — MarieTweets 🇺🇸 (@mkues65) August 12, 2019

When’s the video of you unclogging the toilet? — His Dudeness (@Hankdogg12) August 12, 2019

What a desperate tool. This guy is an embarrassment to men. — Frank Savannah (@FrankSavannah6) August 12, 2019

I can honestly say I’ve changed flat tires a dozen or more times in my life and have never had the need to have it recorded to show that I’m a regular guy. — AGerhardM (@tonymatt9) August 12, 2019

Can you say staged , looks like the Lugnuts are all ready loose , just like his presidential run🤷🏻‍♂️ — MJ (@buddy31114) August 12, 2019

A tutorial about how to NOT change a tire. Or a rich kid who has never changed a tire. Choose — RabidTexan (@TexanRabid) August 12, 2019

Is this is Texas? How come he's not sweating in 100 deg!! 🤣 — Suresh Karanam (@sureshkaran) August 12, 2019

He certainly does look really, really together and not at all sweaty to be changing a giant tire in August in Texas.

Geez.

I anxiously await your comments.

-ALEX