Researcher ██████: You are aware that those cards are of terrible quality, and extremely overpriced, right? Anyway, I've been told that you worked there, but quit. Why did you quit if you liked that store so much?

SCP-XXXX-2: Hello to you, but I prefer Janet. Did you hear about that new thrift shop that opened on [REDACTED]? That place is really cool! Decks of cards used to be on sale for only $340,223! And only about seventeen were missing!

If SCP-XXXX-1 refuses to enter the back room or purchase the item at full price, then they will instantly lose all free will, place any items they have on their person on the shelves, and take the place of SCP-XXXX-2. SCP-XXXX-2 then leaves and spreads positive information about SCP-XXXX before committing suicide from insanity one week to one month later.

When a person enters SCP-XXXX (now referred to as SCP-XXXX-1), they will be greeted by a cashier (now referred to as SCP-XXXX-2), which will persuade SCP-XXXX-1 to enter a back room where they have "just the right thing" for SCP-XXXX-1. Upon entering the back room, SCP-XXXX-2 will offer a very mediocre item for an extremely high price, with the lowest recorded price being $15,863.

Description : SCP-XXXX is a small thrift store located in ███████, Illinois. SCP-XXXX constantly broadcasts advertisements on AM ███ KHz, telling people to come shop at the store. The radio signal is detected to be the strongest just behind the counter, but when the area was searched via drone, no radio was found.

Special Containment Procedures : SCP-XXXX is to have 2 members of Mobile Task Force Pi-1 ("City Slickers") in an unmarked, windowless van parked in front of SCP-XXXX. Any civilians attempting to enter SCP-XXXX are to be turned away and administered Class-A amnestics by a third MTF agent dressed in street clothes. Any civilian that enters SCP-XXXX undetected is to be considered dead, under the cover story of an automobile accident. All instances of SCP-XXXX-2 attempting to leave the store are to be detained on sight, and taken to Humanoid Containment Site-██.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Samples of SCP-XXXX are to be contained in vials containing no more than 2.5 ml of SCP-XXXX at any given time. Personnel are not to touch SCP-XXXX with bare hands for any reason, and are not to speak when near SCP-XXXX unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary to speak, personnel are to use a unique accent, to minimize knowledge gained by SCP-XXXX. One sample is to be contained in a room lined with heat shields rated for 2800 degrees Celsius, as well as thermite launchers capable of heating the room to 2500 degrees Celsius in 5 seconds. Under no circumstances should samples of SCP-XXXX come within 100 meters of each other, and any manifestation of SCP-XXXX-1 constitutes a containment breach. In the event of a containment breach, SCP-XXXX-1 is to be led to the recontainment area, and thermite is to be launched into the room for 15 seconds, and teams will then be dispatched to redivide SCP-XXXX into the 2.5 ml samples in no more than 15 minutes.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a chemical compound that behaves similarly to a brain cell, with a consistency and appearance like that of standard motor oil. Unlike a normal brain cell, SCP-XXXX possesses a high amount of mobility, as well as being able to sense its surroundings and the location of other SCP-XXXX molecules up to a distance of approximately 120 meters, but this distance scales with the amount of SCP-XXXX. Within this distance, SCP-XXXX will attempt to join the other amount by sliding towards it, and boring holes through any materials in its way. SCP-XXXX is surprisingly fast in this, being able to bore through 5 cm of steel in 45 seconds. The process is not fully understood, but it involves temporarily lowering its pH to become highly corrosive. SCP-XXXX has shown an aversion to very high temperature, with it becoming disoriented and losing any bonds to other molecules.

If 6 ml or more of SCP-XXXX bonds together, it then forms a very hostile and possibly sapient entity, hereafter referred to as SCP-XXXX-1. SCP-XXXX-1 is extremely mobile, being able to move at speeds in excess of ███ km/h. SCP-XXXX-1 is hostile to humans, and can sense SCP-XXXX at a distance of approximately 150 kilometers. SCP-XXXX-1 can also change shape at will, with enough precision to pass biometric security systems as another person. It uses these abilities to find and bond with more of SCP-XXXX, gaining more power and intelligence. SCP-XXXX-1 has shown to kill by corroding large holes in arteries and muscle groups, causing the victim to die of blood loss in approximately 3 minutes.