Evil Genius Woman > Snarky, rude, funny pregnancy / maternity t-shirts

Weight bitch-slap maternity

Don't comment on my weight and I won't be forced to bitch-slap you, deal? Funny snarky maternity / pregnancy design also good for dieters or those deemed over or under weight. HTML baby

Funny nerdy tee for any programmers or writers of code out there. HTML < baby> < /baby> over and under your baby bump. Great geek baby shower gift. You have been warned funny pregnancy

Danger, due to the influence of pregnancy hormones I could burst into tears or kill you in the next five minutes. You have been warned. Funny pregnancy hormone maternity t-shirt!

Beautiful baby loading

Funny maternity t-shirt for any tech heads or gadget freaks or computer wizzes. Status bar with Beautiful baby loading. Great parody and excellent baby shower gift! Pregnancy hormone warning

Warning! Pregnancy hormones at work, stand clear! Funny parody warning sign in yellow and black for those days when your hormones are running wild. Do not touch sign

Our most polite anti belly rubber shirt to date for moms who want to tone it down or have co-workers and family too dumb to get snarky humor. Also great for germ carriers and coffee cup thieves

Belly to boob, funny

If you touch my belly I am totally gonna grab your boob! It would be RUDE to grab a boob, right? well, it's also RUDE to feel up a pregnant woman's belly! Funny belly maternity pregnancy t-shirt. Out when I'm ready

I will come out when I'm damned good and ready! Super gift for pregnant or expecting moms who believe in the natural progression of labor and childbirth NOT old wives' tales! No, just NO!

Completely unequivocal, just NO! in grunge text. Perfect for belly rubbers, people who demand to know the name, want to be at the delivery, or need to dole out "helpful" advice.

Weight comment

Careful, I ATE the last person who commented on my weight! Lighthearted and silly t-shirt for those people who just HAVE to make stupid remarks about your weight. You are huge

Yeah, like "OMG, you are HUGE!" is an appropriate thing to say to a pregnant woman. Funny, snarky maternity pregnancy t-shirt for any expecting mom-to-be who is sick of rude comments like this! Alien symbiote and big butt

Funny, snarky maternity tee perfect for science fiction, fantasy, or comic book fans. Does this alien symbiote make my butt look big?

Go away, scaring the baby

THE perfect funny pregnancy t-shirt for those nasty belly rubbers, rude mothers-in-law, snotty sisters-in-law, that horrible co-worker, and those bitches at the playground. Scaring the baby. In, out, not allowed

Unless you are the person who put this baby in there, or the person who will take this baby out, then you are NOT allowed to touch my belly! Perfect funny pregnancy t-shirt for expecting moms. Proximity alert maternity

Funny pregnancy t-shirt for any mom-to-be fan of science fiction, space, fantasy, etc! If you love aliens, space ships, and far away worlds but hate belly rubs, then this is the t-shirt for you!

You go away now pregnant

I am pregnant. You are irritating me. That means YOU GO AWAY NOW. Funny, rude, snarky maternity t-shirt or pregnancy tee for any expecting mom who works or lives with the annoying. It's a beachball

Funny, fun maternity t-shirt for summer, the beach, the pool or the mall! Great pregnancy tee for anyone who is pregnant but optimistic and NOT miserable in the heat of summer! Pregnant, no bull

For those of us who are pregnant and are already fed up with the dumb advice and unwanted belly rubs! Look, I'm pregnant and I don't need your BULLCRAP right now, OK?

Tentacled monster inside

Cool green tentacles writhe out of a trapdoor on this funny maternity t-shirt. Great for sea monster fans, pirate chicks who love the Kraken, and Lovecraft / Cthulhu reading moms. Hormonally heinous

Hormonally heinous in grunge distressed text. Whether you're pregnant, TTC, or just having PMS, every now and then all of us has been in the ugly grip of horrible hormones. Warn the world! Crabby pregnant warning

Let everyone know how you feel right off. Big black and yellow danger sign that says Warning crabby pregnant woman - stand clear! You're tired, sore, and sick of stupid comments!

Danger is NOT my middle name

Oh, dear! Every new dad who has come up with this thinks he's the very first guy ever to think of it! "But honey, he'll be able to say'Danger is my middle name!'" Uh ... no. I love you, but NO. Pregnant with chainsaw

Do NOT argue with me. I am pregnant, and I own a chainsaw. Cute,funny,and so very true of how tired you can get of people's crap when you're expecting. Snarky maternity tee / gift. Pregnancy rule #62

If you invite yourself to my house when I've just had a baby then don't expect me to play hostess! I don't care if you're my mom or MIL or whomever. Either clean or make milk (or leave!)

Not telling name

Yes, we've thought of a name. No, I'm not telling you what it is. Great gift for anyone sick of the bad reactions they get from their choice of baby names. Pirate baby

Perfect shirts for pregnant pirates! Skull and crossbones of the jolly roger on our dark tees. Good for Jack Sparrow and POTC fans as well as a cool design for Goths. Great for Halloween! Long distance puker

Back up! I have morning sickness and excellent range! Great shirt for those with hyperemesis or anyone just feeling pregnant and queasy. Cute maternity tee to combat belly rubbers, too!

Pregnant slap

Ever been slapped by a pregnant chick? Touch my belly and live the experience! Great deterrent for belly rubbers or just a funny maternity tee for work or at your in-laws. Gestating colorful rainbow

Gestating. That says it all. You're pregnant, you're expecting, you're making a whole new human being in there, from scratch! Colourful funky text on this cute maternity/pregnancy tee Not finding out

You're pregnant and you feel harassed! You are not finding out the sex of the baby and immediately everyone claims to know it based on how you're carrying or you hair or your skin ...

Had that baby yet

Talk about annoying. You're overdue (or worse - not due for a month), you waddle in, and some moron asks: Haven't you had that baby yet?! Haw, haw, haw ... jerkwad, you are SO not funny. Pregnancy size sarcasm

"My god, you're huge!" How many times have we heard it? Yeah, pregnant women just LOVE to be told how big they look. Wear this snarky, rude, funny tee and see if the idiots get it. basketball shoplifter

A great maternity tee for any pregnant woman with a silly sense of humor. Perfect for telling off those folks who think you're fat rather than expecting. Good shower gift for a sports fan, too!

Alien symbiote/pregnancy

Funny maternity tee and works for beer bellies, too! Green slime and alien symbiote in dripping text. Perfect gift for any pregnant friend with a sense of humor or any science fiction /horror fan. Your opinion is not required

I'm sorry, but your opinion on any aspect of my pregnancy is NOT required! Tired of folks telling you what to eat, how big you are, when you're going to deliver, etc? Great funny, snarky gift. Barfs for belly rubs

That will teach those morons who think it's perfectly acceptable to grope a pregnant woman's abdomen! Rub my belly and I will BARF on you! Finally, a use for morning sickness.

It's not pregnancy hormones

Let those idiots who love to offer you everything from comments on how huge you are to advice about labor know the truth. It's not pregnancy hormones, it's YOU. hands off the bump

Perfect gift shirt for those rude belly rubbers who think they can invade your space just because you're pregnant! Hands off the bump! Great maternity tee for moms who are expecting. Trying not to hurl pregnancy

What's all this 'pregnancy glow' crap? You spend all day exhausted, crabby, and trying not to puke. Great maternity tee, funny pregnancy t-shirt. Perfect shower gift for first time moms.

No touchie!

When you've had enough of the belly rubs, stomach touches, and general invasion of space and privacy during pregnancy. No touchie! With red universal NO sign. NO you may not touch

The original Yes, I'm pregnant, No you may not touch my belly T-shirt! Why do folks think it's ok to invade a pregnant woman's personal space? Cute maternity or shower gift! University of motherhood

Cute gift idea with bottle, blocks, on an official seal: University of Motherhood. Are you a mommy? Expecting? Adopting? Fostering? Then you attend the U of Mom! An EGW original.

morning sickness blows

Ugh. Most expecting ladies or women who have been pregnant have experienced it. Morning sickness or hyperemesis. And it BLOWS (chunks). Cute tee and funny gift for mom to be Pregnancy symptoms

Think I'm crabby? YOU try the aching hips, swollen ankles, insomnia, and rib kicks for a day! Great t-shirt for folks who ask you why you seem so irritable. YOU try it for awhile! Prima gravida

Is this your first baby? Pregnant with your first child? You are a Prima Gravida (latin for first pregnancy). Lovely script on our 100% cotton dark tees. Wear your status of FTM with pride!

As cheerful as I get

See this? I am THIS pregnant (with arrow pointing at your bump) this is as cheerful as I get! Great funny pregnancy tee especially for the last few months gestation! I've been boarded

Cute gift for any knocked up pirate wench! I've been boarded with the jolly roger right over your baby bump. Let everyone know you're cooking a little pirate in there! Adorable shower gift. Pregnant, that's why

Why the extra helping at lunch? Why so clumsy and forgetful? Why no smoke or alcohol? Why so irritable? Because I'm PREGNANT that's why!

Don't like my baby names

Don't like the names I've picked out? Good thing it's NOT YOUR BABY! People are so rude about baby names. They act as if they can say anything they want about your choices. Sorry, NO! No idea you were an OB

Gee, thanks for the advice. I had no idea you were an obstetrician! For when every check-out girl, lady at work, & childless friend gives you pregnancy tips. Good maternity tee or shower gift! Belly touching pregnancy rule

What's up with people touching pregnant stomaches without permission? Do I look like a Buddah? What happened to personal space? Back off the belly, people!

Know what causes it

Perfect gift for large families or any mom who get's that idiotic comment. here's there answer: Yes, I'm pregnant again, yes, we know what causes it! And what business is it of theirs anyway? Still standing there

I'm pregnant, I'm tired, I'm irritated, and you're still standing there! Don't you have better sense? GO AWAY! Nothing like pregnancy hormones to make you cranky when expecting. Rude thing to say

Wow, that was a rude thing to say! Are you related to my mother-in-law? Not for the faint of heart, this t-shirt tells it like it is. Prefect pregnancy / shower / maternity gift!

Huge, not stupid pregnancy

"OMG, you are HUGE!" Yeah, honey, thanks. I'm freakin' PREGNANT, you idiot! I may be huge but at least I don't say stupid things to pregnant women. Great tees for shopping or work Got baby brain

Here's a great shirt directed at all those idiots and their dumb questions and unwanted advice! You've got 'baby brain' (or mommy, pregnancy, maternity brain) ... what's THEIR excuse? Great gift! pregnant, what's your excuse

They say you're crabby, you're over sensitive, you're hormonal ... people tell you this all the time. yeah, well, I'm Pregnant, what's YOUR excuse? With cute frownie face.

Pregnant, uncomfortable, crabby

let everyone know right up front what should be obvious! I'm pregnant, I'm uncomfortable, I'm crabby ... were you about to say something? Perfect pregnancy / maternity / shower idea! Rude thing to say FIL

Wow, that was a rude thing to say! Are you related to my Father in Law? Great maternity tee for any expecting mom with a FIL who can't seem to keep his foot out of his fat mouth! Baby names pregnancy rule

You don't have to like the names I've picked, but you do have to keep your mouth shut about them! People - especially relatives - will say the stupidest and rudest things about the baby names you pic

Finally!

Great gift for anyone who's overcome infertility or couples who have been TTC for awhile. Finally! in retro gold text right over your new bump! Pregnancy hormones

Cute retro flowers and pumped with pregnancy hormones. Are you sure you want to mess with me? in smallprint underneath. Perfect for pregnant moms for their baby shower. Multipara

Are you a second time mom (or more?) You're a Mulitpara according to medical lingo! Perfect gift for the 2nd or 3rd time mom and a great shower gift for anyone pregnant with number 2 (or 3!)

No pregnancy horror stories Delivery room pregnancy rule

So everyone wants to be in the delivery room including creepy uncle Milton and cousin Jason's latest girlfriend? Tell 'em this: Not there at conception? Don't assume you get to be there at the birth No, not twins

Most of us have gotten it: "OMG! You are HUGE! Is it twins?" While many of us would love to be blessed with twins, no one likes to be told she's that big. Great shower gift!

Rude thing to say SIL

Wow, that was a rude thing to say! Are you related to my Sister in Law? Great maternity tee for any expecting mom with a SIL who can't seem to keep her snarky, stupid mouth shut! Rude to pregnant women day?

Who declared it "be rude to pregnant women day"? Our original funny, snarky pregnancy maternity t-shirt for expecting women sick of the rude comments and questions. Preggo magnets for morons?

Are pregnant women magnets for morons or what? With angry frowny face. Snarky, funny, rude pregnancy, maternity t-shirt.