One of my favorite things to do is to return somewhere I’ve been before and mention all the ways that things have changed. I’m usually not upset about the change, I just like mentioning how things hadn’t always been that way, then, I comment on the change as if some meaning could be derived from the change itself, perhaps saying something like, “of course, we didn’t even see the iPhone coming back then, so I guess this shouldn’t be entirely unexpected now.”

I have no idea what that actually means, but most people agree with me when I say it, so it makes me feel smart.

Last summer, Jenny and I took a trip to Norwalk, CT, where we used to live, to celebrate her graduating with an MBA. We were looking for something pleasant and close to home, so a beachside town that we knew with the certainty of locals was a great choice.

It was nice to see things we were accustomed to, but from a slightly different perspective. We drove by the house we used to rent and both took great pleasure in commenting how they still had the same rickety old mailbox. Some things never change!

We walked past some of our old hangouts, wondering if the staff would still remember us and taking joy in the fact that we remembered them, even if they no longer existed. We didn’t dare go inside to ruin the fun.

If vacations are about enjoying the moment, this one was supercharged with an appreciation not only for the current moment, but for all past moments we’d shared along our path. The backyard where we hosted a family barbecue and got engaged, the softball field where Jenny won a championship, the picnic area at Calf Pasture Beach where we watched a man chase a seagull with barbecue tongs after it stole his hot dog from the grill.

Repeat vacation destinations are also great for family vacations because you know where you can hide or at least get away from everyone else simply by avoiding their likely and favorite spots. However, repeat vacations are also stressful because once family members start arriving, there is a mad rush to be the first who notices and comments on a change. Doing so constitutes a badge of honor for the vacation’s duration(s).

Every fall, my father hosts about twenty family members at a timeshare he co-co-owns on Cape Cod. Each year, there is intense competition to be the first to notice and mention that something has changed.

Who among us can forget the year the hot tubs got replaced, or that time they upgraded the window shades to honeycomb blinds? Each of these changes were noticed and discussed at length. Many times throughout the year, someone is sure to mention Cape Cod and say, “I wonder what will be different this year?”

There’s also a lot to be said about exploring new spots with a vacation. The most romantic trips I’ve ever taken were to new destinations like Newport on Valentine’s Day and the Bahamas for my honeymoon.

But the truth is, once you’re married, you’ve still got the same amount of vacation time but twice the number of people to spend it with, so most of my trips are spent visiting in-laws in either Michigan or Tennessee.

Visiting family is fine, but rarely provides opportunities to see something new or exciting, unless you count nieces or nephews, which I don’t.

Jenny’s trying to change that for me. On my last trip to Michigan, we went to the tourist town of Frankenmuth, where I was served a traditional German dinner by mid-westerners in lederhosen and shopped at the world’s largest Christmas store.

It was a welcome diversion from the routines associated with a multi-day family visit. And, driving back to her uncle’s house through the acres and acres of uninhabited cornfields, I even got to have a roadside chat with an authentic Michigan police officer.

Maybe the secret to having a good vacation isn’t whether you go somewhere new or somewhere old, but who you choose to be with while you’re there.

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