The plan calls for the reef to be put out to international tender, with intense interest anticipated from Japanese and Chinese companies or consortiums. Legislation would require the new owner to protect the reef's ecosystem of rare corals and sealife while, at the same time, permitting development of coal-loading ports, natural gas pipelines and a naval base, and the siting of exploration platforms for oil and mineral resources. There would be a six-star resort hotel and casino in the centre of the reef, with a floating heliport to attract high-rolling international gamblers. The cabinet paper concedes there would be protests from environmentalists but insists that no coral would be harmed. Where necessary for development, whole reefs could be excavated and raised from the seabed, then reconstructed ashore in a purpose-built coral museum that would serve as a major tourist attraction near Cairns. ''We firmly believe that governments should not do what private industry can do much better,'' the source says.

Keen to forestall criticism of the government, the plan's authors propose that the sale of the reef should be managed at arm's length by an independent commission headed by an eminent global figure such as the British jurist and environmental scientist Viscount Monckton of Brenchley. The plan to downsize the NBN is still in the early stages but is understood to involve the selective bypass of Telstra's old copper infrastructure and a major reduction in Labor's extravagant optic fibre cabling. Instead, former workers from the Holden production line would be retrained as fleet-footed runners and stationed at strategic street corners ready to carry messages as required. Transmission of data over longer distances in rural and regional Australia would be managed by a new Avian Information System, or AVIS. Trained pigeons would fly from point to point with USB flash drives strapped to their legs. These proposals ''must be carried through purposefully, prudently and methodically'', the cabinet paper argues. '' They should be wrapped up well before the next federal election.'' Melbourne's Institute of Public Affairs, often but incorrectly described as an independent think tank, likes to preen itself as ''The Voice for Freedom''. This stirring slogan leaps out from the very top of its website.

That freedom, though, does not extend to revealing to the rest of us where it gets its money. The donor list is a tightly held secret. Big Tobacco is thought to be high up there, prompting the IPA's furious campaign against plain cigarette packaging last year. Intelligent guesswork would also lead you to Rupert Murdoch, whose father, Sir Keith, was one of the IPA's founders, and who himself was guest of honour at the joint's 70th anniversary black tie bash last April. Also enjoying that frolic was Gina Rinehart, no doubt thrilled that the IPA is in strenuous support of her pipedream of a low tax zone for mineral prospectors in northern Australia. Much of the IPA's schtick is the sort of gaseous nonsense that excites the Tea Party nutters in the United States. It has published a wishlist of 100 things it would like the federal government to get on with. At Number 82: ''Abolish the Human Rights Commission.''

Imagine, then, the surprise among the chattering classes when the Credlin-Abbott regime appointed the HRC's newest commissioner on Tuesday: none other than Tim Wilson, one of the IPA's public policy directors. ''An incredible honour,'' gushed the happy recipient. And incredibly well paid, too. At $332,000 a year plus expenses it is no doubt much grander than the IPA stipend. You can hardly blame him for grabbing this taxpayer-funded good fortune with both paws. Tim quickly let it be known he is keen to see off Section 18c of the Racial Discrimination Act, the bit that got Melbourne's village idiot, Andrew Bolt, into legal hot water after he aired his views on light-skinned Aborigines in his blog in 2011. In this he has the fervent support of his benefactor, the federal Attorney-General George ''Soapy'' Brandis. That scuppered, with Bolt free to shovel still more excrement into his online sewer of racist hatred, Tim - true to his principles - will no doubt turn to abolishing the socialist HRC. Regrettably, that would leave him hardly any time at all for dealing with such other thorny human rights issues as the mandatory and indefinite detention of refugees seeking Australia's protection.

Still, there's free speech and there's free speech. Twitter this week unearthed one of the new freedom czar's memorable tweets from 2011: ''Walked past Occupy Melbourne protest, all people who think freedom of speech = freedom 2 b heard, time wasters … send in the water cannons, '' quoth Tiny Tim. This is my last column for the year, and I would like to end on a cheerful note. I generally avoid writing about my family, but on Wednesday my five-year-old son finished two years at pre-school kindergarten. So this is to thank the women teachers - they were all women - who so brilliantly gave him a nurturing and creative environment and led him towards what I hope will be a lifelong love of learning. This goes for pre-school teachers everywhere. The pay is lousy, the job beyond demanding, but your work is precious and priceless. The community is in your debt.

That said, my best wishes and thanks to Herald readers. Again, a grovelling apology for not answering all your emails, a task that is beyond me. But do have a happy Christmas and a terrific 2014. smhcarlton@gmail.com Twitter: MikeCarlton01