11 Ways That I, a White Man, Am Not Privileged

1. I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon.

That’s right, I had to work for what I’m given. When I went to college, I worked hard for those grades. I didn’t get in on nothing, I took school seriously! I worked each day to pay my rent and my tuition.

2. I earned my job.

You think it was easy to get to the job I have now? I didn’t just waltz into it. I had to work my way up to my current position. I came in on time, put in my hours and even had to hang out after work with people I despise. That’s how you make it in America.

3. I budgeted and saved my money.

It’s easy to just spend all of your cash, but I put it into a savings account. Learn some self-discipline!

4. I fought against a history of social stigmas and systemic biases to get to claim the tiny space I occupy.

Oh no, wait, this might be getting away from me.

5. I have been judged on name alone when applying to get my house and job.

What? That’s not a thing. Is that a thing?

6. I had my entire life plotted out in statistics before I even began making my own decisions.

Oh come on… is that… I’m just going to google for a second.

7. …

Oh shit. I think I just figured it out. Uh…

8. I’m really sorry, this really wasn’t my intent.

How do I check my privilege? Do I just tell people that look like they might not know that I’m privileged?

9. I don’t know how to fix this, money? I gave to Planned Parenthood, is that good?

Who else? ACLU? Can I donate directly to Black Lives Matter? I don’t just give it to my Black friend, right? That seems weird.

10. I’ll just sit down, would you like to fill in the last one?

11. [Your answer here.]

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Read an interview with Matt Caron about the making of this piece over on our Patreon page.