Hamlet or an American Millennial?

1. Is 30+ years old and still lives at home.

2. Is scolded by elders for doing things.

3. Is scolded by elders for not doing things.

4. Attempts to communicate concerns to leaders typically result in dismissal of feelings and/or receipt of bootstrap narratives.

5. Is forced to rely on moping, complaining, and melancholy as defense mechanisms.

6. Is saddled by forebears with a debt that cannot reasonably be discharged.

7. Is constantly paralyzed by indecision for lack of good choices to be made.

8. In an on-again-off-again relationship with someone they will never be able to marry.

9. Majority of problems can be blamed on the prior generation’s incompetence.

10. Has been prepared for none of the problems life presents after years of supposedly necessary schooling.

11. Likely suffers from an undiagnosed anxiety disorder, and lacks the support network to treat or cope with it.

12. Strongly disagrees with one of their uncles about who should be running the country.

13. Is promised a great kingdom, but has it stolen by spoiled older people who quickly close ranks to maintain their stranglehold on power.

14. Dies — along with every other young person in acquaintance — as a direct result of said older people’s machinations, pettiness, or outright stupidity.

15. New government of home country is installed by a hostile foreign power.

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Hamlet: 1-15

American Millennial: 1-13, 15, probably 14