Look familiar? (Picture: Warner Bros Television)

There are lots of things that people put up with in the name of love, but nobody will know true sacrifice like the boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse of someone who is a serious, serial gamer.

The long hours wiled away in front of a glowing monitor and super-strength finger muscles from such intense clicking – while you sit in the corner and wonder how many hours straight they can keep going without any sustenance.

With Grand Theft Auto 5 coming out on PC tomorrow (Tuesday, April 14), there’s no doubt that many partners are going to be left behind while the keenest computer gamers get to ride and rob all over the digital city of Los Santos.



Here’s 18 things only computer game widows and widowers understand.


1. You often have strangers in the house

You’ll never get used to hearing screaming matches between angry 13-year-olds playing out in your bedroom. Mute, please.

2. You repeat everything three times

There’s an old saying – if you say something to a gamer who is in the middle of a shoot off, was it ever really said?

3. You learn the language of grunt

And can translate every mumbly, non-verbal response with fairly impressive accuracy.

4. Your room is significantly warmer

Who needs central heating when that beast of a computer raises the temperature by at least three degrees?

5. You know what football WAGS feel like

The triumph/defeat when an online match is won/lost is akin to the teary footballers who didn’t make the penalty kick.

Only with less sports cars and diamonds.

Oh God, please let him win (Picture: Xposure)

6. Things don’t download in your house

Heaven forbid you try and do anything on the internet at the same time, lest you cause gameplay lag.

7. Money mysteriously disappears

Who knew the graphics card with the best stats cost that much?

And that it would be trumped by a faster one six months later?

8. Seriously, so much money is lost

The only reason I’m down with paying that much for a ‘gaming keyboard’ is because it has a beautiful rainbow backlight.

9. You become desensitized to bad language

You just have to be thankful that no small children are around to be exposed to such slander.

10. You learn a secondary language

Gaming abbreviations. RPG. GG. LoL. WoW. KIK. Etc.

11. You try to invest more in your own hobbies

Because you’re a little worried that you haven’t experienced a passion of the same level that your partner has for gaming.

12. Hardware knowledge has seeped into your brain

You can distinguish words such as motherboard, graphics card, SSD. Et cetera, et-bloody-cetera.

13. You know of lots of technology cooling methods

For example, you now know that it’s acceptable – nay, normal – to have water within a computer to keep it cool. Of course.

14. Enjoyment for trivial gaming is lost

All I want to do after a long day is unwind with a cheeky Candy Crush level or a go on Mario Kart without being mocked. I know they’re not hardcore, and I’m okay with that.

15. Normal board games become long forgotten



A moment of silence for Monopoly, which apparently isn’t good enough because you can’t slaughter people with virtual explosives.

16. Non-human things suffer too

The carpet under the computer chair is threadbare, and you said goodbye to the WASD keys a long time ago.

17. You understand there are laws outside of the legal penal system

No camping. No random death matches. No aimbotting.

Penalties are worse than death (if an admin bans you from the server your life is basically over).

18. You learn that some games are good enough to spectate

There’s Fallout: New Vegas with a glorious 40s soundtrack, or the comedic value of Portal 2 with Stephen Merchant.

We admit: some games are pretty great pieces of work.

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