(Picture: Getty / Amazon)

Bottle-feeding, nappies, a wide-eyed naivety when it comes to the pain and perils of real life… some things are best left in childhood.

Despite the media’s constant attempts to take everything dear about your younger years and make it grittier, more realistic and rally serious (looking at you, The Jungle Book), we can’t help but feel like surely some things are exempt from overzealous attempts to suck the youth out of them.

Worried mum writes kid's book to encourage Black children to eat more healthily

Well, as it turns out, we’re completely wrong (sorry!), because even Mr. Men aren’t safe.

Those iconic square books in the Mr Men and Little Miss series taught us how to love ourselves and those around us, despite our quirks and perceived inadequacies. For all the silly jokes and brightly coloured illustrations, there was a real heart of gold in each on of those wafer thin stories.




Sadly, that’s all set to change, with a bunch of new ‘reboots’ of the Mr Men and Little Miss franchise coming this Christmas. And, obviously, they’re all grown up.

Little Miss Shy Goes Online Dating, Mr. Greedy Eats Clean to Get Lean, Mr. Happy and the Office Party and Little Miss Busy Surviving Motherhood are all set for a November release from Egmont.

They’re going to be hardbacks too, because hardbacks are for grown-ups, alright?

It’s all a little bit… depressing. The classic traits of Mr Men gone by – happy, clumsy, loving a good tickle – have been replaced by some fairly grim reductions of modern life.

What to expect from the new Mr Men and Little Miss books Little Miss Shy Goes Online Dating Little Miss Shy likes being single and loves nothing more than staying in with a good book. But her mother feels quite differently and she reluctantly decides to give online dating a try. Will one of the Mr. Men be her Mr Right? Mr. Greedy Eats Clean to Get Lean Mr Greedy loves to eat, but when everyone around him seems to be juicing and exercising, he decides it’s time to make some changes. Will Mr. Greedy get lean with the help of his friends? The perfect book for anyone who’s ever tried to kick start their life with a diet which promises a new improved you. Mr. Happy and the Office Party Mr. Happy always looks on the bright side of life. Even when the office party is ahead of him, he faces the thought of difficult colleagues and hours of small talk with a smile. It can’t be that bad, can it? The perfect book for anyone who has ever been to a work party and lived to tell the tale. Little Miss Busy Surviving Motherhood Little Miss Busy hadn’t always been so busy. She used to enjoy lazy weekends and leisurely lie-ins. But then she had kids. Now her life is a constant juggle of pressures and demands to be the perfect mum. How does Little Miss Busy do it? The perfect book for anyone who has ever faced the trials and tribulations of the wonderful and exasperating world of parenthood.

Why is Mr. Greedy eating clean? What’s wrong with body positivity? We think he looks fabulous.

And while there’s no doubt that raising a child adds more than a few things on the ‘to do’ list, there’s more to Little Miss Busy than just being a mother, thanks.

Little Miss Shy’s anxieties about modern dating are all far too relatable, and as for Mr. Happy… well, he doesn’t sound particularly happy at all. Sounds like he’s absolutely dreading that party, to be honest.

If even Mr. Happy gets anxious, is there any hope for the rest of us? My guess is ‘no’.

Given the positive moral fibre of the original series, we’re guessing there will be some kind of glowing moment of redemption for each of these characters, but either way, there’s a whole lot more to modern life than the grim details listed here.

Why couldn’t we have Mr. Greedy Learns To Be Body Positive? Or Little Miss Busy Downloads An Effective Time Management App And Begins To Improve Her Work-Life Balance?

Given how rough the news has been lately, would it have been too much to ask for the bloody Mr. Men books, of all things, to offer up some positivity?

Oh well, suppose that’s it.

We’re all doomed.

Thanks a lot, Mr. Tickle.

MORE: Christmas TV 2017: What we know so far about festive television

MORE: Your pics could be in a Children in Need Christmas book chosen by Rankin

MORE: The Lion King is perfect and should NEVER be remade under any circumstances

Advertisement Advertisement