Gasp! Have I done the unthinkable??? Have I nursed my baby until she was 2.... No...... 3.... No..... 3.5!!(Ok now I'm just splitting hairs, 3.5.... Really? Or--- I could be hardcore and pull the month card. Yes I still nurse my 42 month old.....) oh please let's be real about this I know I don't have time to figure out the math on that. Yes my child walks, she talks, she has all her teeth.... she even wipes her own bum!But.......I have decided to wean my 3.5 year old. I had originally hoped to let her self wean.... but I think she would have been that 19 year old still snuggling for "mommy milk"!!! ; )For me it just became obvious that it was time to ease it off and let her become an official big girl!I had struggled through my pregnancy to let her continue to nurse, as breasts become extremely sensitive during pregnancy. I powered through wanting her to nurse until at least age 2.The first trimester was finally over and things became much easier. ........Then I started producing more milk and let me tell you my daughter loved that! She went from 30 second nursing sessions to 5-10 minutes sessions!Pregnancy was pretty great while nursing I didn't pack on a ton of extra weight. I only gained 20lbs and I have my daughter to thank for that! Don't worry my son was born a happy and healthy 7 lbs. 1oz.Then came the tandem nursing, this was a whole new learning experience.I noticed my son seemed to be suffering from what they call fore milk/hind milk imbalance. I had to balance this by block feeding. This was a struggle for a few months but once my milk regulated and we adjusted to a tandem schedule all was great. My daughter helped me when I was "full" I hardly ever pulled out the pump.April marked the month she turned 3.5. Although she was days away from officially being 3.5 I felt we were close enough and I found the perfect opportunity to attempt the weaning process.She and I were sitting and I was enjoying. (tolerating) this morning nursing session. (Lately I had not been enjoying them they made me irritated because she was rough with me no matter how many times I asked her to be nice she wouldn't listen.)I had a light bulb moment---- I thought ok this one is good, this is a good memory I want it to be captioned in my brain like this.----I looked down at her and I asked her if she was ready to be a big girl. She nodded sweetly up and down. I then said would it be ok if only baby had mommy milk from now on? She again nodded sweetly. I said ok so this will be your last mommy milk.... Is that ok?.…..........She looked up at me broke away and said no more mommy milk for me? Just baby?....I said yes you are such a big girl now I think you are ready to be done with mommy milk ok?She looked a bit disappointed but she agreed.That evening before bed she asked for mommy milk and I had to remind her of our talk from earlier. She didn't take it well...... Melt down ensued......I am sure it was easy for her to say ok she agreed with me as she was drinking mommy milk at the time but once reality hit and she was dealing with not having it, it didn't go over so well.To comfort her I asked her to come snuggle with me and I told her I would still spend special time with her. We rocked and cuddled for awhile, then she was ready for bed. I think she was afraid that just that little moment of time she was guaranteed with me everyday would be lost on baby as well.She has watched me nurse her brother staring at me with this sad longing face. which about broke my heart, I wanted to offer her some but I knew that if I did we would just go through this all over again.I make certain that she gets special cuddle time with me where she snuggles up close to my chest and we just hug.I have to say I love taking this special effort for her. It's so hard to find a good balance between my kids and I know my youngest gets more attention just because of his age he needs more "watching".I would have to say it wasn't as difficult as I had imagined and she has wowed me with her efforts to be a "BIG girl"!-We are so proud she has been clean and sober for 2 weeks now!-Courtney