And then I got REALLY excited. I thought, wow, this girl is a catch, and she seems really into me. I know women are little more flirty on Halloween, but this felt different.

So I decided it was time to get her number. When she stood up and turned to say goodbye, I smiled and said, "Hey. You’re gorgeous, and I enjoy chatting with you. I want to take you on a date, so I’m going to get your number."

She replied, "Oh! Thank you, but I can’t do that."

Can’t do that?

She saw the confused look on my face, pointed to a guy standing a few feet away, and said, “that’s my husband.”

I’m sure my jaw dropped. My eyes went straight to her left hand – yup, I had totally missed the ring.

Fuck! Why was she indulging me? Was it out of pity? Did she feel sorry for me? Ouch. That cuts deep...

And God dammit, why are all the good ones taken?

You read that right – I still have the same thoughts come up. I’m not any better at controlling them than you are.

So what do I do differently now?

I say, "oh cool, how did you guys meet?" and I ask questions to learn about the start of their relationship.

Why? Because she is a woman I find attractive, and she is in a relationship with a man, who must have done something right for that to happen, so I want to learn from their experience. And when a girl says "I have a boyfriend" (or "that's my husband" while sitting on your lap 😁) it's the perfect opportunity.

On Halloween, I did just that. And I learned SO much. I learned how this couple met, where they went on their first dates, how they developed such a trusting relationship (lots of prior experience) and how they work on it every day. Honestly, that conversation stretched the limits of what I thought was possible in a relationship, and made me think about what kind of relationship I really want.

And I know. It sounds crazy to sit around and listen to a woman gab about her happy relationship while you are still single. When instead, you could be talking to the next girl who is available. But try it, and you'll find that women open up in wonderful ways about dating, relationships, and even sex. Here are just some of the benefits you'll start to experience.

You will learn something about dating, and continue to improve your conversation skills. You will learn something about her, and possibly build a friendship. This applies to anyone you get genuinely interested in – they will love you and even make the impossible possible for you. You may be a great match for her friend, who is single. It's fun to have women play matchmaker for you. You might have a shot when she does become single. Relationships are not always forever, so I may OCCASIONALLY check a girl's Facebook to see if she is still with her boyfriend :) – I think this is fine as long as you're not harassing her and still meeting other women.

So yes, even though I'm still a bit disheartened when a girl I’m interested in tells me that she's in a relationship, I usually leave the situation with some good ideas. It could be a new place to meet women, a new date idea, or even what to change on my online dating profile (true story, and it led to a match that I dated for 2 months).

So don't let "I have a boyfriend" stop you – just learn from it.