Planned Parenthood Now Offering Post-Birth Abortion Services

NEW YORK, NY—In honor of the organization’s 100th birthday, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards announced Wednesday a bold new program, expanding a woman’s right to choose by offering a plethora of post-birth abortion services for fetuses from birth all the way up to eighteen months old.

“A woman should be able to determine her own destiny,” a smiling Richards told reporters. “That’s why we’re now allowing women to bring in any clump of cells younger than eighteen months, and they can count on us to be their advocate and take care of the problem right away.”

“Allowing anything less or even disagreeing with our new policy is a cold, heartless attack on women,” Richards warned.

In response to a question as to the legality of killing young children under the banner of “women’s reproductive rights,” Richards simply laughed and replied, “Are you in favor of an innocent woman being enslaved to parenthood just because she has the result of a pregnancy living in her home?” further adding that President Obama had already expressed his support of the new procedures, calling them a “brave and necessary act to protect the rights of women everywhere.”

“Thank you PP for being a champion for women! #100MoreYears” tweeted presidential candidate Hillary Clinton in response to the news.

A Planned Parenthood spokesperson also confirmed the organization’s plans to possibly expand the post-birth abortion program for fetuses up to eighteen years of age, should the pilot program prove to be as popular as expected.

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