So your first death threat to Apex tournament founder Alex Strife didn’t do any good. Technically, that might have been your second. But now we know who to really send death threats to: Nintendo. Let’s do it right this third time. I know Nintendo already receives tons of death threats for not including Geno or Shadow the Hedgehog in Smash Bros., so we need to make this death threat really stand out. It needs to be so powerful that it would force Hideo Kojima to make Metal Gear games in the afterlife even though this has nothing to do with Metal Gear.

But to get the inspiration for your hatred, you need to realize why you’re doing this in the first place. You have to remember that this is all because you want to prove to the world that you’re the best at playing a modified version of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Nothing else can be more important than this, otherwise why send a death threat? This is your life now.

It’s like Satoru Iwata is Hitler and is trying to exterminate all the poor Project M players that are hiding in the attic or basement. That’s how I feel about this because I have dedicated my life to this mod. There’s nothing more important. So if you’re not that dedicated, please stop reading this because you’ll probably send out a poorly written death threat that’ll make other death threats look bad.

The content is not really important if you’re that motivated to get Project M back into Apex. Once you have that blind fury turned on, anything you write will be pure gold. You just can’t hold back. You need to wish death not just on Masahiro Sakurai. You need to wish death on his wife, his children, his children’s children, Kirby, and anything else even remotely related to him. But you can’t stop there.

You also need to send a death threat to the Project M development team. Why aren’t they joining in this cause? They made this mod, they should clearly be a part of this effort to take down Nintendo. Once Nintendo has bowed to our will, then we can make Project M a real Smash Bros. game and get it back into Apex where it belongs. But we can’t do that if the creators refuse to send death threats to children.

Remember, people will call you evil and a terrible person for doing this, but who’s the real bad guy? It’s Nintendo because they took away Project M. So think about that while you’re writing about how you’re going to poison Shigeru Miyamoto.