Two weeks ago I amused the people with my top 25 for 2020 dynasty football where I wrote about my crooked hard-on for Kerryon Johnson from my cushy American barn. Last week I captivated the audience with my top 50 for 2020 dynasty football where I insulted JuJu Smith-Schuster while vacationing in Madrid. This week I’ll regale the world with my top 75 for 2020 dynasty football, written while stranded in Paris on Jesus’s Birthday. Long story short: the Europeans are on strike. Nobody wants to work, making my holiday travels a challenge. But there’s worse places to get stuck than Paris where Donkey has made the most of it by visiting world renowned Peyronie’s Disease specialists, eating hay crêpes and discovering new football talent; I’ve heard this Cristiano Ronaldo hombre will be a great kicker. Anyway, here’s my top 75 for 2020 dynasty football PPR leagues:

Rank. Player | Position | Age on 9/1/2020 | Free Agency Year

51. Terry McLaurin | WR | 25 | 2023

52. Mike Williams | WR | 25 | 2021

53. Robert Woods | WR | 28 | 2025

54. Adam Thielen | WR | 30 | 2025

55. Jarvis Landry | WR | 27 | 2023

It’s scary how great Terry McLaurin‘s rookie numbers are with Case Keenum and Dwayne Haskins switching off at the helm. I think Washington even played a scarecrow at quarterback for a couple games. Yes, McLaurin’s only my #5 ranked receiver from the 2019 class. Queue the angry mob. But the four rookies ranked ahead—A.J. Brown, D.K. Metcalf, Deebo Samuel and Marquise Brown—are all at least equally as talented and I like their respective situations a little more. And it’s not like I have McLaurin 100 spots behind them.

The regression fairies got touchy with Mike Williams this season, and to a lesser extent Robert Woods. Williams followed up an 11 touchdown sophomore year with only 2 touchdowns despite improvements across the board in the rest of his numbers. Williams only just turned 25 and has the body type—6’4″ & 220 lbs—which could play well into his mid-thirties. The fairies tickled Woods down from 7 touchdowns in 2018 to only 2 this year as well but he’s now posted back-to-back 1,000 yard, 80+ reception seasons and the 28 year old will be a part of the Rams offense for at least two more seasons—which feels like a positive.

Adam Thielen is a tough guy to rank. When he’s healthy and at the top of his game, few in all of fantasy have matched his production. But he’s faded down the stretch each of the last two seasons and he’s no spring foie gras. Counter-but, now could be a great time for contenders to buy and ride Thielen’s 2020 early season hot-streak.

Donkey Teeth: Always a year early and a flight home short. I was the high man on Jarvis Landry entering 2018 and owned him everywhere. Landry waited until 2019 to post the top 15 fantasy WR season I predicted for 2018, but how much of that production should be attributed to OBJ drawing the heavy coverage across the way? And will OBJ be back in brown come 2020?

56. Russell Wilson | QB | 31 | 2024

The consistency of Russell Wilson over the last five years is unmatched—even without 2019 week 17 he’s averaging 30.6 touchdowns with 3,910 passing yards per season, or 1.94 touchdowns with 247.5 passing yards per game. Not to mention the 300-500 rushing yards with a couple rushing touchdowns he kicks in each year. Plus, Wilson hasn’t missed a game in his eight year career. He still has realistic #1 overall QB upside for the next couple seasons and he won’t cost Mahomes, Jackson or Watson prices to acquire, as long as you avoid the airport currency exchange.

57. Mark Andrews | TE | 23 | 2022

58. Austin Hooper | TE | 25 | 2020

59. Darren Waller | TE | 27 | 2024

60. Evan Engram | TE | 25 | 2021

The tier of four young tight ends, with the tightest of ends, is headlined by Mark Andrews who only just turned 23 in September and benefits from a Ravens system which targets the big boys heavily.

Before a week 10 MCL sprain, Austin Hooper was in the midst of a huge breakout campaign. Thru nine games Hoop had totaled six touchdowns while averaging 6.2 receptions and 67.5 yards per game. He’s a free agent this off season, but we have to imagine the Falcons will make every effort to bring Hooper back and if they do, there’s an actual chance he’s the #1 fantasy TE in 2020.

I have no idea where everyone else is on Darren Waller, but I’ll guess I’m close to the high man. Mainly because I’ve ranked him based on how he looks without a shirt on rather than football skill. But Waller’s great at football too and he’s locked into the Raiders offense—Gruden loves his tight ends—for another 5 years.

2020 was mostly a lost season for Evan Engram who managed only 8 games before injury ended his campaign early for the second straight year. When healthy, he’s still among the most talented pass catchers in the tight end ranks. I have no issue with any ordering of these four TE’s, they’re all close in my book.

61. Phillip Lindsay | RB | 26 | 2021

62. Sony Michel | RB | 25 | 2022

Dynasty running backs are tricky. On one hand they usually have a short shelf life, on another hand they’re necessary for fantasy glory, on a third hand—which is actually a hamburger bun with five sausages inside—they tend to wear down and get hurt when you need them most. Phillip Lindsay and Sony Michel are two running backs I’ve been in on since before their rookie seasons but they have as much uncertainty as that five-sausage-bun. Lindsay sits with a meager 298 career carries which is nice, but 2021 free-agency and a 2020 Royce Freeman timeshare loom. Michel, while talented, is stuck in the Patriots’ nightmare backfield for at least two more seasons.

63. Zach Ertz | TE | 29 | 2022

64. T.J. Hockenson | TE | 23 | 2023

65. Noah Fant | TE | 22 | 2023

The ends are so tight in the top 75! I never expected to have ten tight ends in my top 65 but there’s loads of young talent at the position these days and I’m not afraid to give the big men a boost since they can play into their elder years—see Antonio Gates and Travis Kelce, don’t see Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez. Zach Ertz is a PPR stud, but talented sophomore Dallas Goedert has become a pest to Ertz owners and I don’t see him letting up over the next two seasons in Philly.

My favorite tight end from the 2019 draft class was jack-of-all-trades T.J. Hockenson, but highlight-reeler Noah Fant isn’t too far behind with the emergence of Drew Lock in Denver.

66. Christian Kirk | WR | 23 | 2022

67. TY Hilton | WR | 30 | 2021

The Cardinals offense brings question marks the size of my European-vacation-credit-card-bill, but the talent of Christian Kirk isn’t one of those questions marks.

Tough year for T.Y. Hilton and his dynasty owners. First Andrew Luck retires, then T.Y. Hilton misses 7 games due to calf injury, then half of Europe decides to go on strike stranding them overseas. Maybe that last part was just me. Hilton’s only 30 and had missed just two games over the previous three seasons. Jacoby Brissett looked good enough this year for me to think Hilton still has WR1 upside in 2020.

68. Dak Prescott | QB | 27 | 2020

69. Josh Allen | QB | 24 | 2022

70. Kyler Murray | QB | 23 | 2023

71. Baker Mayfield | QB | 25 | 2022

I expect this quarterback tier will draw some criticism. Dak Prescott’s offense—assuming he’s back in Dallas—is sure to undergo some changes with Jason Garrett getting the ax five years too late. Amari Cooper’s contract is also in question but I think he returns and Prescott has shown elite glimpses. New leadership could help elevate him; it can’t hurt.

Most will rank Josh Allen a bit lower, but he’s only 24 and over the past two seasons he’s scored 17 rushing touchdowns in only 26 starts while averaging 42 rushing yards per game. Yes, please!

One of my European-vacation-credit-card-bill-sized-Cardinals-question-marks mentioned above is, of course, Kyler Murray. I’ve ranked him in the top 75 based on pure potential and he has every bit the ceiling of Lamar Jackson if Arizona gets their act together.

It seems like rather than working out, Baker Mayfield spent the 2019 spring chugging beers, mowing the FirstEnergy Stadium lawn and cleaning up his friends’ mystery socks. Seriously Baker, don’t touch that sock! Let’s hope for less fluid-filled-socks and more workouts this off season.

72. Kareem Hunt | RB | 25 | 2020

73. Chris Carson | RB | 25 | 2021

Which team will take the chance on Kareem Hunt this off season? With 493 career carries there’s still plenty of tread left on the tires but landing spot will be everything for Hunt. Unlike my flight home, which never took off!

I’d love to know a bit more about the season ending “hip fracture” Chris Carson suffered last week. Sounds like it could be cause for concern in 2020, and beyond, depending on the severity. But I’m no doctor and there’s no Holiday Inn Expresses in Paris. On the plus side, BeastMode is back!

74. Tyler Boyd | WR | 25 | 2024

75. A.J. Green | WR | 32 | 2020

I drafted Tyler Boyd this year in redraft and dropped him after week 11. He went on to catch 4 touchdowns the following 5 weeks and I went on to cry myself to sleep every night. What a cruel game! As for Boyd, there’s some QB questions in Cincy but he’s only 25 and already shown he can produce without A.J. Green lining up across the way. Speaking of Green, he might be slightly over the hill going into his age 32 season but at age 30 he still posted back-end WR1 numbers on a per game average. We don’t know where he’ll land this off season but he should be fresh after taking the a full season off because he didn’t want to play without a new contract. I mean, because of an ankle injury.

Alright, I’m off to miss my connecting flight in Iceland where I’ll then write-up the next 25.