A 30-year-old man reported to police that his Whopper was cold at Burger King, 12309 Central Av. NE. Police determined it was a civil matter.

Damn!

Reddit and Twitter users pounced on the story; the shoe-leather journalists at City Pages demanded to know more. Armed with an insatiable thirst for truth and $.50 for physical copies, we secured the August 10 police report, which was summarized as "COMPLAINANT REPORTED HIS WHOPPER WAS COLD."

Here's a rundown of events from that fateful night, per the report:

At around 10 p.m., a St. Paul man ordered a Whopper sandwich with cheese at the Burger King located on Central Avenue.

The man apparently also ordered onion rings, but he did not "get enough"; a BK employee gave him additional onion rings.

The man drove away and started eating his Whopper; he claims the center of the burger was cold.

The man returned to the Burger King and requested a refund; he was "refused" because he ate "half the Whopper already."

The man was also "upset" because the burger "left a bad taste in his mouth."

At roughly this point, police were called to resolve the matter. The two officers who responded deemed the situation a civil matter, and suggested the aggrieved customer should "take it up with management." When asked on Monday, a Burger King manager claimed to have no knowledge of the situation.

Several Yelp reviews complain about food arriving cold at that BK location. None of them mention involving law enforcement to correct it.