The F1 Strategy Group met this week to discuss ways in which it could continue to be of absolutely fuck all use to anyone.

Sources say the main topics on the Group’s agenda were dithering, bickering, and talking round in circles to the sum total of sod all. ‘The meeting was a great success,’ said one group insider. ‘By which I mean, we got cock all done, as per usual. More cigars!’

As ever, the hottest topic during the meeting was costs and many ideas were put forward for how the Group might continue to talk about cost saving for many years whilst signally failing to come up with a practical and uncontrived way of making such measures work which probably means there isn’t one and perhaps they should just all admit that instead of sitting around eating swan and pretending to care.

‘I’m just going to say something unhelpful that makes me sound like a total prick,’ said F1 supremo Bernard Ecclestone. ‘Erm… all the cars should drive in reverse.’