There’s a heartbreaking piece in today’s American Lawyer from Joanna Litt, the widow of Sidley Austin partner Gabe MacConaill. MacConaill died by a self-inflicted gunshot in October in the parking garage of the firm’s Los Angeles office. In today’s piece, Litt has some harsh words for the stress that working in Biglaw put her husband under, and which she believes worsened his mental health issues.

I never thought in a million years that he could or would do that. And I keep going back to one thought: “Big Law” killed my husband.

In the article, Litt describes a series of “ill-fated events at work,” which contributed to ramping up the stress MacConaill faced. Other partners in his department left which put him in a leadership role, he was tasked with heading the office’s summer program, and he started working on the Mattress Firm bankruptcy case. In prepping to file that company’s bankruptcy in Delaware, MacConaill worked himself to exhaustion, but he was still primarily concerned about the ramifications for his career:

[I]t was clear he was in distress and had been working himself to exhaustion. He told me his body was failing him. I picked him up and we decided he should go to the emergency room. He actually said to me on the way there, “You know, if we go, this is the end of my career.” I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. I didn’t know whom to reach out to or to tell my husband was in crisis. I called his closest colleague and asked if she had noticed anything unusual with his behavior at work. She said he was working more with his door closed, and then she said something I’ll never forget: She said his sense of humor had been gone for a while. I asked her to keep an eye on him at work and then I just brought him home. I tried to make sure he slept and was rehydrating and eating so he could make the trip to Delaware.

As one might imagine, the piece also contains some self-recrimination as Litt laments what more she could have done to prevent her husband’s death, wishing she’d “held him just a little longer, loved him a little harder.” But she’s also keenly aware of the role the stress of Biglaw — plus a work culture that makes it difficult to seek help — played in MacConaill’s suicide:

So as I write our story and think about it more and more, I know “Big Law” didn’t directly kill my husband—because he had a deep, hereditary mental health disorder and lacked essential coping mechanisms. But these influences, coupled with a high-pressure job and a culture where it’s shameful to ask for help, shameful to be vulnerable, and shameful not to be perfect, created a perfect storm.

Another interesting part of Litt’s piece is her perception of Sidley’s handling of MacConaill’s death, which she refers to as “damage control.” She says she attended the firm’s memorial for her husband because she “needed to see what kind of narrative they were creating.” It’s always challenging to deal with the unexpected death of a partner and colleague, but when the widow comes away with the impression it is all part of a calculated PR move, you’re doing it wrong.

There is a mental health reckoning coming in Biglaw. The issue is too important and the profession is losing too many talented lawyers. Some firms have begun the process by signing a pledge to provide a mental health framework that includes education, awareness, and resources for their employees. However, it is far from being the industry standard. Tragic deaths, like that of MacConaill, serve as a reminder of how essential it is for Biglaw to deal with the issue.

If you or someone you know is depressed or otherwise in need help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) or a lawyer assistance program in your state.

Kathryn Rubino is a Senior Editor at Above the Law, and host of The Jabot podcast. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).