Maybe you don't care if the governor sent his bodyguard to break up with his girlfriend. Because this isn't a sound government. It's eighth grade.

And maybe you don't care if your governor is such a technoboob that he alerted his wife to his own affair by accidentally sending her steamy text messages meant for the Other (whoops) Woman.

Yikes.

Maybe you're over it. Done with the accusations and allegations laid out by ex-employees. Perhaps you feel that peeking under his governorship's sheets is just a bit ... unseemly.

I feel you. I do. Not the way Gov. Robert Bentley wanted to feel his former political adviser, of course, but I get what you're saying.

Because it's not the sexy (cough, cough) stuff that matters. The big takeaway from the latest claims -- laid out in lurid detail in a long-awaited lawsuit by Bentley's former head of security -- has precious little to do with governor's ample amorous indiscretions.

It's not whether Bentley misspent taxpayer money or overstepped the bounds of his dubious authority. Those things are big, but the recurring rash here -- the itch that keeps popping up like a pox -- is the Alabama Law Enforcement Agency.

Bentley and his libidinous lunacy has made it clear. The Alabama Legislature's consolidation of law enforcement agencies under ALEA was an abysmal failure, and needs to be reversed.

Oh, there have been signs from the beginning. Consolidation was to save millions and streamline the functions of a dozen different agencies. But it hasn't saved so much. ALEA said it was $16 million in the hole last year and $23.5 million short this year.

Gov. Robert Bentley and ALEA chief Stan Stabler. (Julie Bennett/jbennett@al.com)

It left a shortage of overworked troopers and rankled many of the agencies it was supposed to streamline. It took DPS, the ABC Board, the Marine Police and others and crammed them together, which was problematic enough on its own.

And it allowed Bentley to name who he wanted to run the whole shootin' match. As a cabinet-level secretary. And that has gone horribly, incalculably wrong.

Together the revelations by former ALEA Secretary Spencer Collier and former Bentley security chief Ray Lewis paint a vivid picture of just how wrong.

Bentley used ALEA aircraft time and again, and had an ALEA chopper fly his wallet to the beach after a famous argument with his wife. He appointed his friend Spencer Collier as the first ALEA secretary, and asked him to move ALEA money around to make the governor's office look more frugal. It was only when Bentley tried to meddle in law enforcement affairs that the two fell out.

When Collier was fired by Bentley - forced out by former Bentley political adviser Rebekah Mason, the way he tells it - Collier revealed the first details about the improper relationship. That was when the problems became apparent.

Because Bentley replaced Collier with Stan Stabler, another of his former bodyguards. And Stabler's first acts were to a) investigate Collier to put Bentley in a better light, and b) stand behind a podium and claim he never saw explicit text messages between Bentley and Mason.

The investigation Stabler started was later discredited by the attorney general's office.

And the lawsuit filed last week by Lewis supports claims by Collier that Stabler saw that text message. He denied it only after he was appointed Alabama's top law enforcement official by the governor.

Making it look like Stabler is mistaken, or is lying, or is squirrelier than Linn Park when all the nuts are out.

No governor needs his own police force, and no governor should wield this much control over any law enforcement agency.

It may not be sexy, but it's a fact. ALEA is a failure. It's time to go back to the drawing board.