OVERVIEW & FACTS

Discover all you need to know about mompetition, including signs and symptoms of mompetition and what increases your risk of catching it. Also, learn some proven ways to prevent mompetition with simple lifestyle strategies. We want you to stay well and avoid getting mompetition. Discover all you need to know about mompetition, including signs and symptoms of mompetition and what increases your risk of catching it. Also, learn some proven ways to prevent mompetition with simple lifestyle strategies. We want you to stay well and avoid getting mompetition.

WHAT IS MOMPETITION?

mompetition (mom-pi-tish-uh’n)

noun

The one-up rivalry that moms play making their child seem better, smarter, and/ or more advanced than yours. May involve two or more moms and any number of children, even full-grown.

“She engaged me in mompetition insisting her son walked at 6 months and implying my son was slow for his age.” ((c/o UrbanDictionary.com) )

(c/o Mompetition)

CAUSES

Mompetition can be brought on by a variety of biological and environmental factors, such as:

overall competitive personality disorder

extreme insecurity with regard to own parenting abilities

limited social interaction with non-parents

exposure to mothers exhibiting symptoms of mompetition

SYMPTOMS

Mompetition can manifest in many ways, with early indicators sometimes being mistaken for the “desire to offer thoughtful and helpful advice” or the “need to empathize in a sincere manner.” Symptoms to watch for include:

Incessant need to promote your child’s accomplishments (whether real, exaggerated or imagined)

Urge to engage in one-upmanship with any mother you encounter, regardless of situation or venue

Desire to appear (more) knowledgeable (than you are) with regard to parenting skills and abilities

Overwhelming compulsion to judge all other mothers’ parenting decisions on everything ranging from sleeping to feeding to care-taking

TREATMENT

Once diagnosed, the first step to treating mompetition is to acknowledge that you have it. Understand that it’s not just a problem – it’s a sickness. Then, begin to examine the root cause of your mompetition. Determine how you contracted it and examine why and how it has progressed. From there, engage in activities specifically designed to counter the symptoms of mompetition as they manifest.

For example, when you feel the need to tell a stay-at-home mom that you think their 6-month-old is not being properly socialized or exposed to enough germs because they’re not in daycare, resist. And when the urge strikes to let another mother know that you’re better than her because she stopped breastfeeding at 6 months and you breastfed your baby until they were 2 years old, don’t. And when you find yourself ready to explain to another mother why your baby has better self-esteem than hers because you went with the Baby Whisperer sleep method instead of the Ferber sleep method, stop. Instead, acknowledge your feelings while keeping your mouth shut and move on to the next topic. Perhaps even compliment the other mother on something that you think she’s doing well versus criticizing her (new) parenting abilities. By increasing the number of times you do engage in this positive behavior, you significantly increase your chances of making a full recovery from mompetition. PREVENTION

Any time you think you may be starting to exhibit signs of mompetition, try repeating this mantra: “If it goes without saying that my child is the best, then I don’t need to say it.” Another tactic to try is to think of how you felt the moment your child was born – the pure joy, the overwhelming exhilaration. And then, remember the sheer terror you felt when you first brought that child home – the clumsiness with which you handled that first bathing session (when the umbilical stump was still on and you had to find a way to clean your screaming, wriggling newborn without getting it wet – or dropping him/her); the trepidation with which you first attempted to breastfeed (when despite taking classes and reading books, you couldn’t quite seem to figure out how to get your baby to latch); the hesitation with which you first tried to ascertain if there was pee in the diaper (especially before diapers with wetness indicators). As mothers, we’ve all been there. We’ve all doubted ourselves and our parenting abilities. So when we finally start to feel like we’re getting the hang of things – but still aren’t quite sure – we resort to middle school behavior by cutting other people down or exaggerating our own abilities to make ourselves feel better. And frankly, who wants to relive middle school? So rather than ignoring the symptoms and allowing them to get progressively worse until you have a full-blown case of mompetition and have become a social pariah at the playground, consider using one of these simple lifestyle strategies – or perhaps one of those mentioned in the resources below – to stop/treat/survive/prevent it from occurring in the first place. ADDITIONAL RESOURCES Do you suffer from Mompetition?

8 Tips on how to survive mompetition

Three Tips to Get You Back into Motherhood and Out of “Mom-petition”

“Mompetition”: Why You Just Can’t Make Mom Friends

Mompetition: Hey Moms, Can’t We All Just Get Along?

The Other Side of Mompetition: Dadversaries Any time you think you may be starting to exhibit signs of mompetition, try repeating this mantra: “