The NFL’s Conference Championship weekend is setting up to be so epic you could re-cast it as an all-out battle between houses in Game of Thrones.

So we did.

After 19 gruelling weeks of battle, 32 houses have dwindled to just four, and that quartet will soon head to war in a clash for the most coveted prize of them all: a seat at the Gridiron Throne.

In the Game of Throws, you win or you go home.

House Chief

Kingdom: Kansas City

Capital: Arrowfell

Ned Stark: Andy Reid

Jon Snow: Patrick Mahomes

Robb Stark: Alex Smith

Sansa Stark: Travis Kelce

Arya Stark: Tyreek Hill

Bran Stark: Eric Berry

“Super Bowl is coming.”

Admired throughout the land as a well-seasoned commander, Lord Andy Reid, ruler of the cold and desolate land of Kansas City and head of House Chief, has long been steadfastly loyal to west coast offence – and has nearly lost his head for it.

Following years of dispiriting defeat in the biggest of battles, Lord Reid made a high-risk change atop his leadership ahead of his latest campaign, shipping his most battle-tested knight, Alex, off to the capital (where he later suffered a tragic injury in battle) and summoning to the forefront a new addition to the family – one many onlookers were unable to accept as a legitimate threat: Sir Patrick Mahomes.

An intriguing leader known for his unusual battle tactics, word of Sir Patrick of House Chief travelled quickly throughout the land, and he has rewarded his lordship with 13 decisive victories on his way to claiming the AFC Westeros crown.

Lord Reid’s two most trusted warriors have flourished under Sir Patrick’s leadership: Tyreek, making up in killer instinct what he lacks in size, has the speed and elusiveness to assassinate the best of opponents without them ever seeing him coming; and Travis, a handsome and highly sought after bachelor, is opportunistic and has learned to play “the game” with the best in the land.

And finally, Eric, a combatant many have seemingly forgotten who has the ability to change his house’s fate. Injured in battle, the feared warrior was forced to be carried along with the House from battle to battle during the campaign, but is now finally ready to be unleashed in battle.

House Chief is prepared to fight on their freezing home turf against the hated House Patriot, a family despised throughout the land but a dynasty that has yet to be toppled despite dozens of attempts…

House Patriot

Kingdom: Foxboro

Capital: Kraft’s Landing

Tywin Lannister: Bill Belichick

Tyrion Lannister: Josh McDaniels

Cersei Lannister: Tom Brady

Jaime Lannister: Julian Edelman

The Mountain: Rob Gronkowski

“A Patriot always poses a threat.”

Used to fighting battles on their own turf at Kraft’s Landing in the Kingdom of Foxboro, House Patriot must travel to the freezing fields of Arrowfell to do battle with the House Chief, an advantage many believe could ultimately lead to the fall of House Patriot and the iron-fisted rule of Lord Bill Belichick.

Led by the feared Lord Belichick, known for constant scheming and … let’s call them controversial strategies, and Sir Josh McDaniels, the Hand to Lord Belichick whose penchant for game-planning has earned him the admiration and ire of many while his brief connections with rival houses (and shunning of others) has caused his loyalties to be questioned. (Is he an heir to the throne? We may soon find out.)

But it’s Sir Tom Brady who, despite his age and all other houses praying to the seven gods for his demise, rules the land with little regard for those around him. Having lost plenty of loved ones along the way, Sir Tom knows better than to get caught up in the politics of war, always taking matters into his own hands and never letting emotions stand in the way of ultimate rule.

Brady’s trusted allies are Sir Julian Edelman, with whom he shares a brother-like relationship that has fuelled plenty of salacious rumours throughout the land; and Gronk, a mountain of a man who despite taking beating upon beating in battle continues to put his life at risk for the good of House Patriot. Some have questioned his motivation of late, but opposing houses don’t buy it. They fear The Mountain.

As the feud between Houses Patriot and Chief rages, a different war unfolds across the land.

House Ram

Kingdom: Los Angeles

Capital: The Great Coliseum

Daenerys Targeryan: Sean McVay

Jorah Mormont: Jared Goff

Dragons: Brandin Cooks, Todd Gurley, Aaron Donald

King Aegon I: Kurt Warner

Mad King Aerys II: Jeff Fisher

“Fire and Blood and Photographic Memories.”

House Ram was once banished to the Midwest, conquering desolate St. Louis thanks to the unlikeliest of heroes and an offensive strategy rarely seen before or since. But memory of those victories faded quickly, as did House Ram’s reign under Jeff “The Mad King” Fisher, and soon they were no longer welcome in their new home.

Their return to L.A. has been triumphant, welcomed by a fanbase which has secretly longed for its return. Lord Sean McVay, a young, vibrant, natural-born leader has become the envy of all as the fair-haired leader grows his loyal following with his faithful servant, Sir Jared Goff (Or, *ahem*, Jarah MorGoff), always by his side.

Lord McVay and Sir MorGoff ride into battle in the Great Coliseum, unleashing their trio of TD-breathing dragons – Gurley, the aptly-named Cooks and, most feared among them all, Aaron Drogon – on anyone who dare tries to defend against them.

House Ram’s three-headed attack has ravaged the competition for the better part of two campaigns but has been sent back to NFC Westeros with their tails between their legs when the Throne is on the line. Now, in their biggest battle yet since returning to their native land, they must travel south in a long-anticipated clash of two of the land’s biggest houses.

House Saint

Kingdom: New Orleans

Capital: Mercedes-Benz Super-Dorne

Doran Martell: Sean Payton

Oberyn Martell: Drew Brees

Ellaria Sand: Taysom Hill

Sand Snakes: Michael Thomas, Alvin Kamara, Mark Ingram

“Untouchable, Unguardable, Unstoppable.”

Facing off against House Ram is House Saint, a house once believed to be finished but which has reinvented itself under its old leadership – a veteran, but innovative lord, Sean Payton, who was once thought himself to be out of touch and is not far removed from near-rebellion.

House Saint’s true leader, however, is a dangerous but revered fighter who inspires hope and respect throughout his native land and fear in the rest of the great houses of the South. Sir Drew Brees, the greatest knight House Saint has ever seen, has taken his spot on the Lombardi Throne once before – but that was nearly a decade ago, a different time, and Sir Drew’s desire to rule once again has fuelled him ever since.

At his command are the Saint Snakes, a trio of dangerous fighters each possessing different skills but all equally savage: Michael Thomas, a deceptively skilled warrior who is nearly impossible to stop when a connection with his general is established in battle; Alvin Kamara, a dual-threat speedster who can’t be stopped, only contained; and Mark Ingram, a bruising fighter who leaves opponents scattered in his wake. House Saint is also known for using trickery to defeat its enemies under Lord Payton, often employing the versatile skills of Sir Taysom Hill.

Not to be forgotten is House Saint’s defensive strategy – once considered among the land’s worst, but now one that should be underrated only at its opponent’s risk.

Beware the Night King

But lurking in the darkness, ever present, is the Night King, whose existence risks the livelihood of all who live in this land. As these four remaining houses battle for supposed supremacy amongst themselves, the Night King waits patiently for a much more important battle ahead.