Scots is a beautiful language, whether used by Rabbie Burns or Renton emerging from the toilet in Trainspotting.

While it might not be considered a sexy way of speaking to some, no one can deny the raw power that comes from the Scottish accent.

Everything is in bold, underlined, and more passionate than many of the inflections of down south… And good sex definitely requires passion.

Spending my youth trying to get anyone – seriously, anyone – to finger me, I learned enough Scottish sex terms to star in an episode of Chewin’ The Fat.


It’s high time the rest of the UK learned them too.



Because there’s truly nothing like someone calling your delicate orchid-like genitalia a fud.

Tadger

Another word for penis.

Sometimes has connotations of the aforementioned member being small in size, so watch out for tone when you hear this one.

‘He got his tadger stuck in his zip, the poor f***er.’

Fud

Can mean vagina, or be used as a derogatory term.

Certainly not the sexiest word when you’re getting down to it, but packs a punch when said in regular conversation.

‘Wait for the green man before crossing the road, ya daft fud.’

‘Let’s see your fud then, hen.’

Fud staying firmly under wraps, thanks (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Gantin

To be gantin on something is to be gagging for it, or want it very badly.

Can be used interchangeably with horny depending on how you say it.

‘I’ll tell ye one thing, he was clearly gantin oan it. Couldnae get ma troosers aff quick enough.’

Baws

Balls or testicles.

Variants include bawsack and bawbag.

‘His baws were knocking against us when we wir banging, it wis fair distracting.’

Chug

To masturbate. Commonly said in verb form as chugging.

‘I’m so lonely I’ve been chugging like it’s going out of fashion. Even cracked one out to Homes Under The Hammer yesterday.’

Stauner

A Glaswegian term for an erection.

‘Hahahaha look at Ali, he’s got a right stauner oan dancing wae Helen.’

Stauner and a half right there (Picture: Phébe Lou Morson for Metro.co.uk)

Diddy-ride

Diddies are breasts, and we all know what riding is in a sexual sense.

In English, this is likely called a tit-wank.

‘Chloe gied Cammy a diddy-ride on Friday, but she wisnae happy when he finished on her freshly-done blowdry.’

Gammy

Although gammy can also refer to something disgusting or gross (for example, if someone has a big scab on their knee, it could be called a ‘gammy leg’) it’s been known in some parts to also mean blowjob.

‘Andy, go and gie us a gammy? Sandra’s no been near me fir months and ah cannae handle this dry spell.’

Boaby

Yet another word for penis.

Unfortunately for Scottish men called Robert, this might also be their nickname. See, the barman from Still Game.

‘His boaby looked like a baby’s airm haudin an apple.’



‘Awrite Boaby, how you doing? Pint of Tennents please.’

Gash

Gash is said in various parts of the UK, either to mean vulva or terrible.

It never has quite the same level of aplomb than when said in a Scottish accent, though.

‘I think I’m in love with Eilidh, man. Never had a gash quite like it.’

‘This party is pure gash.’

When he calls it your gash and you just can’t stay in the mood (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Pump

A beautiful, almost onomatopoeic way to talk about having sex. Direct, and to the point.

‘Wantin pumped thenight? Thir isnae much oan TV.’

Chebs

Breast, jugs, mammary glands.

‘This dress really accentuates my chebs. Maybe Kerry will finally notice me.’

Poke

Can mean fingering, or be used as a catch-all term for any kind of penetration.

‘When Darren poked me last night, I had to tell him to trim his fingernails. It was sair.’

Sook

To sook is to suck. Present in plenty of sexual chats, as well as arguments.

A truly multi-use word, you can also call someone a sook if they’re being needy or a bit of a brown-noser.

‘Sook ma root Ian, yer way oot ae order there.’

‘All he wants to do all day is cuddle and listen to love songs. What a wee sook.’

‘When she sooked ma cock it wis like a choir ae angels began tae sing.’

Rhyming slang As well as the more straightforward Scots words that refer to sexy times, some people use rhyming slang to make life even harder. Words include Mantovani (or Manto) for fanny and Ian McLagan for shagging.

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