You've fought and lost two elections. Your qualifications are a mystery as you've given multiple affidavits in your election and ministerial declarations. The big entry in your curriculum vitae is your starring role in one of India's biggest ever saas bahu serials. Worse your party colleagues can't stand you, publicly calling you out as an "attention seeker" when you claim a spy cam was used on you. A case is registered but, like much else about you, it evaporates into thin air and soap bubbles.

And, yet as Smriti Zubin Irani you are the Union minister for HRD, perplexing all observers as you had earlier threatened to go on a fast unto death against Prime Minister Narendra Modi when he was Gujarat CM, asking him to resign for the Gujarat riots and leaving thousands dead. And, today you are the leader closest to him along with party president Amit Shah and finance minister Arun Jaitley.

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So where does Irani go from here?

The HRD ministry is not really her cup of tea. After trying to follow RSS apparatchik Krishna Gopal's bidding, she has set off campus unrest. As the grinch who tried to turn Christmas into "good governance day" and as "aunty national" for trying to break the JNU butterfly on a sarkari wheel, she's attracted huge censure.

Irani is hyper sensitive, witness her attacks and spats with journalists on social media. From "kyar tag kar" to accusing a beat corespondent of having an agenda, she's been a fierce "social media yodha".

What people miss is the fact that this apparent train wreck politician dismissed as "queen bee" is following a plan.

Prime Minister Narendra Modi along with minister for human resource development Smriti Irani.

Irani has no constituency, but with vaulting ambition she does not want to be a Modi confidante forever.

She wants to be the BJP's face for Uttar Pradesh and is cultivating the only constituency available to her - nationalist Twitter trolls - who go in to paroxysms of joy each time she aggressively attacks a "presstitute" or a small time Congress spokesperson.

Irani is so tuned in to her audience (good auteur) that she always drags Rahul Gandhi in and in a weird, paranoid way asks a Congress spokesperson if she is planning an attack on her!

What is lost is that the spokesperson was complaining about a real world threat that she "should be raped like Nirbahaya and killed". Does Irani care about violence against women? Apparently not as she is busy catering to her virtual constituency.

Irani has assiduously been telling the party and the wider world that she has a huge Uttar Pradesh connect and is not a "bahari". The connect is a tenuous link from her grand mother's side to Moradabad from where Robert Vadra hails.

Also read - Shame on Smriti Irani for trivialising Priyanka Chaturvedi's Twitter rape threat

But, Irani is unfettered. She is extremely important in the current BJP power equations, and as a senior minister says, "ek lakeer koh chotta karney kei liye doosri lakeer badahni padti hai" in a reference to other women BJP leaders.

Whether it's Sushma Swaraj, Vasundhara Raje Scindia or Uma Bharti, Irani despite being a Rajya Sabha MP, having no mass base and completely beholden to Modi, thinks she can outdo all rivals.

Even powerful party president Amit Shah's disapproval - he dropped her from the national executive - has not been a roadblock in her effortless rise to the top. Having made it to the cabinet despite having zero administrative experience, numerous failures and famous Yale gaffe have had no consequences for her.

Also read - Modi government's biggest battle set to begin in the warfield of education

Irani's case of false educational qualifications is coming up for hearing in two weeks. It would be a prudent move on her part to ensure the BJP commits to her plan of projecting her for UP.

Hence the hysterical attacks on Rahul Gandhi and the projection of the "tough lady" image vis-à-vis BSP chief and former Uttar Pradesh chief minister Mayawati, which backfired spectacularly when she dramatically, in true soap style, offered her head, and much to her chagrin, Mayawati said, "off with it". Irani has confided that she believes UP only likes "strong leaders" and she's offering a contrast to the namby pamby Gandhi.

Unfortunately, Irani tends to get carried away with her melodrama.

The BJP leaders say that Irani is naturally aggressive and abrasive cut in the Modi matrix of giving rivals no quarter. Irani's lack of education and parliamentary exposure has ensured that she is comfortable only with a tiny coterie of what are described as "mini Smritis" around her.

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Her meteoritic rise in the BJP sans any base has ensured that the "karyakartas" resent her and her closeness to Modi scares her cabinet colleagues. While other senior BJP members of the cabinet such as Sushma Swaraj, Rajnath Singh, Nitin Gadkari enjoy a good rapport with senior leaders in other parties, Irani is conspicuous by her lack of contacts among others.

She has two backers in the BJP, Modi and finance minister Arun Jaitley, who use her as part of a strategy to check-mate rivals. Irani has desperately tried to cultivate the RSS, which has been given full access to saffronise education, despite the fact that the RSS remains suspicious of her.

Irani's desire to be the face for the UP campaign has seen her ruffling many feathers including Varun Gandhi and his mother Maneka Gandhi and heavyweights such as Rajnath Singh. The periodic outbursts such as BJP MP Meenakashi Lekhi's Twitter tirade on Irani are a symptom of it.

Irani is raring to take on the two Gandhi siblings and finally prove her credentials to the country which has been utterly unimpressed with her mediocre performance as a minister.

The only hearts Irani has truly won are the those of social media trolls. Is it any surprise that she's loath to give up her base? Expect her to up the ante as the countdown to UP gets closer. BJP insiders say that Irani's calculated punt has Modi's blessings, and with the BJP winning Assam, Modi's wish will prevail.

Watch this space for melodrama that befits the size of the biggest election battle ever.