Co-leader of the New Zealand Green party Marama Davidson has given her first interview about being sexually abused as a child; a revelation that saw her thrown out of parliament when she first went public with the experience three years ago.

In 2015 Davidson was the first of several female MPs who were ordered to leave the chamber after their revelations that they had been victims of sexual violence were ruled out of order by the Speaker.

“We got feedback from around the world, around the country, that that action had touched people, and I didn’t know that that was going to happen,” Davidson told the New Zealand Herald this week. “What I felt in the house immediately as I was listening and watching my peers, was a sense of collective strength ... it felt safer than what I’ve ever felt.”

In April, Marama Davidson was elected as co-leader of the Greens party, which holds eight seats in Jacinda Ardern’s coalition government.

On Wednesday Davidson detailed for the first time the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of a distant relative in her family home when she was eight or nine years old. Charges were never brought against the relative, who has since died.

“When I was a young girl I was frequently visited in my bedroom at night by an older relative, a slightly distant relative who had been staying with my family for some time. And I think that should give enough essence.”

Davidson said she didn’t know what was happening to her at the time, didn’t have any words to describe it, and pretended to be asleep as a form of psychological protection. “It was such an assault, such a personal, embarrassing, shameful, shameful assault that you just shut down,” Davidson said.

According to Rape Prevention Education, one in three New Zealand girls will be subject to an unwanted sexual experience by age 16, with over 70% considered “serious” and involving genital contact.

Davidson said she told no one about the assault in a bid to protect her family, but said she “acted up” and displayed “troubling behaviour” as a young girl because she didn’t know how to respond to what was happening to her.

She would scream loudly whenever her parents had to leave the house, because this was when the abuse occurred.

The MP, whose portfolios include Maori development and ethnic affairs, was visibly upset when recounting the trauma, and restarted her story a number of times, apologising to the interviewer.

“Here I am, I am now the co-leader of a political party, in one of the most powerful positions that women could be in, but I am still thrown by this, when I have to go back to that time. So if I am feeling like that with all my privileges and supports, I can’t imagine how others feel.” she said.

But her decision to go public with the experience has been met with widespread support in New Zealand.

So much courage baring your scars to highlight the incredible plight of all victims. 💚 @MaramaDavidson https://t.co/r2rTh3bbqN — Golriz Ghahraman (@golrizghahraman) June 26, 2018

Very important korero from ⁦@MaramaDavidson⁩ here. Children being abused often don’t understand what’s happening and can’t talk about it. Changes in behaviour are an important indicator that something’s wrong. https://t.co/vGcdxYztx8 — People & Planet (@DeborahMTNZ) June 26, 2018

[CW - sexual abuse] Today we’re offering Marama all the love & support that we can. She wants other survivors to understand that they’re not alone & it’s okay to talk about what they’ve been through. We salute her strength & courage 💚https://t.co/8f4YjGq4Dq — Green Party NZ (@NZGreens) June 26, 2018

Davidson added: “It feels unsafe to be speaking out against what happened to me, the sexual abuse that happened to me, because at the moment that sexual abuse happens to you, you are silenced and you feel like you have been pushed out to a space that is dark and alone and cold.

“And that is essentially what I went through when it was happening to me, and it happened over time, and I just felt further and further and further, like I needed to shut up. And its a downward spiral because the abuse silences you, and then you feel like cannot talk to anybody and it just keeps going down and down and down.”

Years later, Davidson discovered that she was not the only victim of the relative who abused her, and other girls had been harmed.

“I am speaking now to try and help others and I know this is very yuck and probably very painful, but none of it was [my family’s] fault ... sexual violence is its own monster. And it sections us off as individuals and we need to come together and tell the stories that will help other people speak up and tell someone.”

Minister for Women Julie Anne Genter said she admired Davidson’s “courage and bravery” in speaking out.

“No one should have to deal with unwanted sexual attention, especially children. Marama’s leadership is sending a message of hope and survival for others out there who might be struggling.”

Kyla Rayner, agency manager of Wellington Rape Crisis, said it is always significant when a woman with the “influence and platform” of Davidson publicly discloses an experience of sexual violence.

“Whenever stories such as these appear in the media we have a number of clients reference its importance in sessions, along with survivors reaching out to us to discuss their experiences; often resulting in an increase in new clients for our agency,” said Rayner.

“These stories provide a pathway for survivors to think “I’m not alone, this has happened to others and I’m worthy of support”