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Trust us, you want to be Paris Hilton's bitch ... because her dogs already have their own mansion -- air conditioning, furniture and chandelier included -- and now she says their crib is about to get way more baller.

Paris was shopping in NYC's Meatpacking District on Monday when she told us about the SICK upgrade she's about to install for her nearly 20 (at last count) pups.

Let's just say ... you might want to change your Super Bowl plans.

In case you've never seen it ... Paris' dog house is a replica of her own house, which puts most human dwellings to shame.