A RECENT story about a 70-year-old man who, after watching his six-year-old granddaughter frolic naked in the waters of Sydney's Balmoral Beach, found himself questioned by police left me feeling deeply disturbed.

An anonymous caller contacted police expressing concern about an elderly bloke "sitting with a naked child at the beach".

Not only was the grandfather shocked and shaken to find himself the subject of official scrutiny, but the young girl, Emma, was reported to be very upset and, according to her mother Jessica, felt she'd done something wrong.

Bravehearts founder Hetty Johnston declared that "the member of the public did what, we hope, everyone now does in such situations".

Excuse me? What situation is that, exactly?

This was a grandfather spending precious time with a happy little girl - doing what not so long ago was considered normal.

Johnston believes it's a good result. I disagree. To me, this entire scenario is symptomatic of what's happening in our culture. Not only are we living with constant wariness about each other and our motives, we're assuming the worst.

When did we become so afraid? So paranoid?

When did a naked child, supervised, romping on a beach, become cause to call police?

Upset with what had happened, the child's grandfather, Leo, posed the questions: "Would this have happened if I was female? Would it have occurred had I been a younger man?"

The answer to both is, likely, no.

This points to another perhaps unintended but no less serious consequence of our aggressive vigilance around children: the effect this is having on men's relationships with their loved ones.

Increasingly men are not only cautious, even afraid, of showing affection or attention to young kids (even their own) in public, or of reaching out to a child in distress, but they are deserting careers such as teaching for fear of being regarded as a pervert, or worse.

But our mistrust and anxiety around (male) adult behaviour and children doesn't stop there. Photography is either banned or frowned upon in public places and children's sporting events. And let's not forget the policy of many airlines not to sit men next to unaccompanied minors.

In terms of young children, there's no doubt a great deal of our concern is driven by so-called "good intentions", but I would argue this extraordinary and negative scrutiny has to be balanced against potential long-term detriment.

Before I go any further, I have to make something clear - and I've mentioned this before - I'm a survivor of long-term child sexual abuse. I've no vested interest in this issue except, sadly, direct understanding.

When someone - child or adult - is abused, it's important they're not made to feel a victim for the rest of their lives; that their future public and private relationships don't suffer as a consequence. If that happens, then the abuser wins. They still wield their terrible power and ruin any goodness, love and trust a survivor might find.

Statistics show confirmed cases of child abuse and neglect are actually falling overall. And sexual abuse is the least common form of abuse. Of the 40,466 cases reported in 2010-11, 13 per cent were for sex abuse.

This is still unacceptable, clearly, but the reality is most people are not abusers and the majority of children are not abused. So why do we behave otherwise?

Kindness, generosity of spirit, trust and reaching out to strangers have all been eroded by a warped sense that those we don't know pose a potential threat.

According to Bravehearts' online booklet, about 95 per cent of victims know their perpetrators. Only 5 per cent of child sexual assaults are by strangers.

I don't want to sound cavalier about abuse, but we must take a good hard look at ourselves and the unrealistic paranoia gripping and changing us. Especially when innocent people such as Leo and Emma suffer the penalty.

A minority of evil people have made the majority of decent people modify and change their behaviours and, in doing so, have turned us all into victims.

Dr Karen Brooks is an associate professor at the UQ Centre for Critical and Cultural Studies.

Email Karen Brooks



brookssk@bigpond.com

Originally published as Innocent men hurt by abuse paranoia