The Kazakh leader has sparked a search for the elixir of life – and his scientists brought him yoghurt

Age: 72.

Appearance: Part-time Albert Finney lookalike.

What does he do for a day job? He's the president of Kazakhstan.

As in Borat's country? That's the one.

It's an actual place? It is indeed.

I thought Sacha Baron Cohen made it up. Afraid not. He just picked a real country and caricatured it as corrupt and very silly.

So what's the real Kazakhstan like? Corrupt and very silly. Nursultan Nazarbayev has won two decades of widely criticised elections with around a 95% share of the vote, and even changed the law to personally exempt himself from term limits. Which may go some way to explaining why right now he is doing his best to emphasise the country's silliness.

What's he done? He has instructed Kazakh scientists to go in search of the elixir of life, and, after two years and a few million quid of research, they have invented yoghurt.

Hold on. He instructed them to what? To investigate "anti-ageing medicine, natural rejuvenation, immortality".

How did this all start? Two years ago a member of the Kazakh parliament suggested Nazarbayev stay on as president until "at least" 2020. To which he responded: "I'm willing to go on to 2020. Just find me the elixir."

As a joke, surely? Maybe at first. But he then asked Kazakh scientists to look into "the study of the prolongation of life" on three separate occasions that year, even telling them: "People of my age are really hoping all of this will happen as soon as possible."

So they brought him a yoghurt? Well, they had to bring him something. Zhaqsybai Zhumalidov, chair of the Life Sciences committee, announced their findings last week: "We have created a bio-product called Nar. It will be able to improve the quality of life and prolong it."

And Nar is a yoghurt? Yep. It's also the Kazakh word for "food". In his defence, Zhumalidov admitted there was "still work to be done".

Do say: "Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Don't say: "Your works look a lot like Onken."