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Cessnock-based single mother, Ava Gogedagogh (25) is today preparing for the next phase of intrusive government policy that looks to completely remove her agency as a young woman, and further humiliate her for the ordinary hand she’s been dealt.

After finding herself in the undesired position of having to follow through with an unplanned pregnancy because of the religious beliefs of the blue-blood aristocrats that make up the NSW state government, Miss Gogedagogh is now facing the prospect of having to piss in a cup to prove her life isn’t so bad that she also has to support a drug problem, as well as a young child

This comes as former prime minister and the now extremely unemployed Tony Abbott led an anti-abortion protest in Sydney over the weekend against the NSW decriminalisation bill, which he believes will lead to “infanticide on demand”.

Mr Abbott joined fellow damaged-goods-of-Turnbull Nationals MP Barnaby Joyce alongside thousands of mostly male Christians in Sydney’s Hyde Park on Sunday as state MPs prepare to debate amendments this week.

Barnaby Joyce’s vocal support for dumping the abortion bill also appears to come as quite a contradiction to the previous thorn-in-the-side-of-the-coalition-comments he was making last month.

Joyce argued about the need to raise the $245-per-week rate for Newstart recipients stuck on the set-up-to-fail cycle of relying on Australia’s rapidly fraying safety net. The Former Deputy PM said he could empathise with the welfare dependents, because he himself was struggling to raise a family on $10,000 per month.

However, seemingly in response to Joyce’s comments, Prime Minister Morrison has doubled down on the Australian underclass by announcing plans to drug test welfare recipients, who he believes face a better prospect of defeating addiction without any support at all.

While the idea of leaving people to die in the streets because of their inconvenient medical conditions may send blood to the groins of conservative Federal MPs – for people like Ava Gogedagogh – all it means is she now has to deal with the great indignity of urinating in front of a drug-testing contractor who works for an agency that donates heavily to the Liberal Party.

Ava says she doesn’t know what the Liberal Party actually wants from her.

“First of all, they made me have a kid with a guy name Kyle who disappeared the moment he found out the cost of having to travel interstate to avoid this situation”

“And now they are making me literally piss on them for even the slightest bit of help”

“You know, I might have actually been able to hold a full-time job if this party didn’t prioritise the existence of a sinfully conceived embryo over my own healthcare” she said.

“And now they are telling me that I can only unwind on cask wine and heavily taxed tobacco. A vegan cigarette costs much less than either”