WHERE does self-care sit on your list of priorities? For many women, it’s at the bottom of the list behind family, work and home commitments.

“Many women don’t make it a priority. They see self-care as being selfish,” counsellor and life coach Fiona Craig says.

“They want to be a superhero and do it all, but you don’t have to be supermum.”

Mother-guilt: the feeling of guilt for making time for themselves and having a break from the endless list of responsibilities is often to blame.

But this negative outlook on personal care needs to end and women need to schedule leisure and exercise time.

Ms Craig says weight loss and health are two examples where women unconsciously sabotage their chances of success, and offers 10 ways to stop sabotaging your health and weight-loss goals.

LET GO OF MOTHER-GUILT

“When we set our expectations too high we feel as though we have failed as mothers,” she says.

Understand that the supermum complex is tied to perfectionism and setting goals too high or low. Silence the inner critic and understand the guilt, shame and need to belong in society. “If we can understand and deal with this guilt, then it will make achieving weight-loss goals a lot easier, as often mothers feel guilty for taking time out to exercise … which is completely wrong.”

PRIORITIES

Understand work-life balance isn’t about allocating equal time for each task and activity, but prioritising what is important.

PLAN

Set goals and plan ahead to overcome barriers. Create to-do lists, weekly menu plans, family calendars and whiteboards to get you and your family under control and give you time to achieve your goals.

PRACTISE SELF-CARE

“Self-care is not about being conceited or being only interested in yourself, but about taking good care of your feelings,” Ms Craig says. Practical solutions include getting a good night’s sleep, eating healthy foods, exercising, meditating, relaxing and seeing friends.

FIND AN ACCOUNTABILITY BUDDY

Tell a friend you are giving up or changing something and seek their support when you feel the urge to quit. This will help you stay on track.

CELEBRATE YOUR WINS

No matter how small the accomplishment, recognise you’ve taken a step toward a positive change in your life. Change often takes perseverance and you may need a few attempts and failures before something sticks, but you can do it.

STOP BAD HABITS THAT CAUSE WEIGHT GAIN

Understand what triggers bad eating or snacking, such as when you feel bored or in front of the TV, and consciously try to stop the habit.

STAY CONSTANT

“It’s said to take 30 days to change a habit. Remember you are rebuilding a superhighway and sometimes it requires repeated experiments and failures,” she says. Staying constant will ensure you stay on track for your weight-loss goals.

LIFE PLAN

Having a vision of where you want to go in life will provide clarity and make it easier to achieve weight-loss goals.

“Too many people are stuck in a rut,” Ms Craig says. “Ask yourself, what lifestyle am I trying to create? Have a clear vision of how you want to live. How would you like to spend your days at home and work? You must think about all facets of your life, including ... family, friends, spirituality, career, money, health, home and holidays.”

SET GOALS

Goal setting is a powerful tool to achieve success and create happiness, providing a clear focus on where you want to channel your energies.

Ms Craig says a key to success is for families to work together as a team.

“Take extra time to teach kids chores, back away from being a helicopter parent then everyone is happy because they have time and mum feels refreshed.”

media_camera Stuck in a Rut by Fiona Craig.

Stuck in a Rut — How to Rescue Yourself and Live Your Truth by Fiona Craig. Available from Amazon or www.lifebalancecoach.com.au