Hey iFanbase, Timmy Wood here. The following is from a series of emails that were sent around the Justice League of America. I pulled a fast one and got a hold of them. Read them quickly before Batman takes them down.

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org 1:00 pm (5 hours ago)

Hey everyone,

The Academy Awards are this Sunday and Ollie and I are having an Oscars viewing at our place which many of you all RSVP-ed as attending. I have attached the Oscars ballot, fill it out and send it back to me and we will do our Oscars pool. Good luck voting and see you Sunday!

Black Canary

Green Arrow BigSexyArrow@JLA.org 1:15 pm (5 hours ago)

Wait. That’s this Sunday? I am supposed to be having my conspiracy book club this Sunday.

The Atom Atom_Choi@JLA.org 1:20 pm (5 hours ago)

What are we reading this Sunday?

Green Arrow BigSexyArrow@JLA.org 1:30 pm (5 hours ago)

We will be reading Occult in America which is a true account of how our nation was created by freemasons and devil worshippers.

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org 1:45 pm (5 hours ago)

First of all Ollie we have had this planned for months now. Reschedule it.

Second, Atom, why are you in this book club?

The Atom Atom_Choi@JLA.org 1:50 pm (5 hours ago)

It’s less of a book club and more Ollie rants and raves while Hal and I eat snacks.

Green Arrow BigSexyArrow@JLA.org 2:05 pm (4 hours ago)

The same illuminati that decides the fate of this nation also decides who wins the Oscars. It’s all a big joke!

Superman Supes@JLA.org 2:15 pm (4 hours ago)

Sorry, I cannot attend. Lois is having her own party. I have to make the cheese dip.

I am voting for Lincoln though. Love that Spielberg.

-S

Martian Manhunter JonnJonzz@JLA.org 2:22 pm (4 hours ago)

What are the categories again? I would like to participate in this event this year.

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org 2:35 pm (4 hours ago)

Great J’onn, just look at the ballot I attached and fill it out. All the categories are on there.

Cyborg SighBorg@JLA.org 2:50 pm (4 hours ago)

Best Picture: Django Unchained

Best Actor: Joaquin Phoenix

Best Actress: Jessica Chastain

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org 2:55 pm (4 hours ago)

No, fill out the ballot. Don’t just email me random picks.

The Flash Flash@JLA.org 3:07 pm (3 hours ago)

Best Picture: Silver Linings Playbook

Best Actor: Daniel Day Lewis

Best Actress: Jennifer Lawrence

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org 3:15 pm (2 hours ago)

Do you guys just ignore the emails I send? Don’t just email me random picks FILL OUT THE BALLOT!

Green Lantern HalHARLEMSHAKEJordan@JLA.com 3:25 pm (2 hours ago)

Best Picture: The Hangover (the first one)

Best Actor: Ted (the teddy bear from the film Ted)

Best Actress: Kate Upton (Hottie!)

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org 3:30 pm (2 hours ago)

Hal, you’ve voted for The Hangover four years in a row now. Surely, you know that’s not how this works.

Firestorm Firestorm@hotmail.com 4:30 pm (1 hour ago)

Hey guys!

First of all I always make the mistake of voting with my heart and not with my head. For instance I really want to see Joaquin Phoenix win best actor but it’s probably going to go to Daniel Day Lewis. Gotta make sure I don’t do that again this year. Skyfall was probably my favorite film of the year. What were some of your favorite films of the year that weren’t nominated? Can’t wait until Sunday! It’s my most anticipated (and ONLY LOL) event on my calendar this week.

-Firestorm

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org 4:35 pm (1 hour ago)

I don’t know which one of you keeps forwarding these emails to Firestorm but it isn’t funny. It’s mean. Every time you do this I have to call him and tell him AGAIN that he is not invited and he isn’t in the JLA. Please stop.

Hawkman Hawk_Man@JLA.org 4:40 pm (1 hour ago)

I only care for the animated films. May Wreck it Ralph win all the awards.

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org 4:45 pm (1 hour ago)

Alright I have received ballots from everyone except Batman, Wonder Woman, Animal Man, Plastic Man, Zatanna, Booster Gold and of course HAL JORDAN.

If you are coming please send them.

Batman The_Batman@JLA.org 5:15 pm

I will not be attending. I would also like to remind everyone that during highly anticipated televised events, crime doubles. Please take this into account next year when planning events. I recommend recording said event and watching it the following day.

Also, Argo will win best picture. I have a source.

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org 5:25 pm

Remind me not to include Batman on these emails next year.

Firestorm Firestorm@JLA.org 6:30 pm

Hal just forwarded me the last few emails. Am I not in the JLA? Do you guys…..not like me?

Timmy Wood is a writer and comedian in New York City. He loves the Oscars and really wishes The Master had been nominated for Best Picture. Follow him on twitter!