It appears there may be a difference between how hunters and gatherers (men and women) use language; how we speak. Perhaps the difference is not so much in how we speak, but has more to do with how often and about what.

When I lived in Colorado, my best friend and I got together on most fall Sundays to watch the Broncos. I know how typically male that sounds, but we are not social animals by nature. For three hours, other than an occasional comment about the game, or to request a drink, not a word was spoken. We did not comment about what the other person was wearing, made no effort to pull out tidbits about who someone was dating. There was no exchange of gossip, and no trays of petit fours gracing the coffee table. When the game was over, so was our male summit. We left fulfilled.

One study concluded women use almost three times as many words as men per day; 20,000 to our 7,000. It did not conclude that women say more, just that they use more words—I threw that part in just as an observation. Just thinking I might say 7,000 words a day taxes me. The other day I asked my ten-year-old daughter to tell me about the movie she saw with her girlfriend. Her explanation lasted longer than the movie. when I asked my son the same question, he told me it was ‘good’.

Perhaps I might illustrate how I view the difference with an example.

Woman 1: I love your hair, where did you have it done? (Most men would not even notice that their friend got his haircut unless he had his initials etched into his scalp.)

Woman 2: I went to Elaine’s, before lunch. I was supposed to meet Sally at Clyde’s in Georgetown, but as I was feeling around in my purse with my right hand to find my phone while I was driving, and putting on my lipstick with my left hand. The jerk behind me honked his horn—I looked in the mirror—he was really cute.

Anyway, I dropped my lipstick, and when I bent over to find it on the floor, I tore my nail on that whatchamacallit. You can imagine how upset I was.

Woman 1 is hanging on her every word.

Woman 2 continues: I was actually running fifteen minutes early for lunch, like that’s ever happened before, so I popped into Elaine’s to fix my nails. Wendy, that new stylist from LA started talking to me and mentioned she had an idea for a new cut that would so totally highlight my cheeks and she convinced me to give it a shot. An hour later, ta-da—she shakes her head left to right to show how the new cut flows with her movements—do you like it?

Woman 1: I love it—she knows this is the right response; being truthful is not part of the equation, equivocation is.

In the interest of your time and mine, I will end the conversation here. It actually continued for another twenty minutes discussing a variety of topics covering everything from the fact that Sally appeared to be putting on weight, to the upcoming shoe sale at Saks.

Now, here’s how that same conversation plays out between two men.

Man 1: Haircut?

Man 2: Yeah.

As I pondered this topic it made me wonder whether by being a verbal recluse I might be missing out on part of life’s experience. I have decided to start counting my writing as part of my daily word allotment, so here are six hundred and sixteen words I otherwise would not have used.