Eggs are wonderful, wonderful things. If you don’t have eggs in your fridge, then shame on you. Go out and buy some right now. Unless you’re allergic to eggs (although I’m sure your friends will be more than happy to accept free eggs from you). Eggs can range from extremely simple and light to hearty and filling. We’ll start with the light.

Simple scrambled eggs:

You get an egg (or more, if you’ve got more)

You put some oil or butter on the pan so it doesn’t stick

You crack the egg into the pan

Keeping it on medium-low heat so you don’t burn your egg, you stir it, effectively scrambling it

TA DA

Of course, I would at least add some salt and pepper (and garlic if you have some on hand). Now wait, you say, I thought this stuff was supposed to be easy! My pan’s dirty and I’m too lazy to do the dishes. I feel your pain. No one likes doing the dishes. So instead, I present an alternate process:

Again, get the egg

Crack it into a mug

Stir it up

Heat in the microwave for a while

Stir it up again

Heat some more

Stir

And so on until it’s cooked

This is, of course, the simplest way of making scrambled eggs, and they’ll be somewhat bland. What to do? Why, add one or more of the following:

Ham

Sausage

Cheese

Ham and cheese of course can just be microwaved, but if you want to microwave your sausage, make sure it’s well-cooked first (I’m not super experienced with cooking a sausage in the microwave, so if you end up eating raw sausage because you wouldn’t listen, that’s on you).

But let’s say you’re really really hungry. Then you can upgrade your eggs to an omelette. In addition to ham/sausage/cheese, you can add one or more of these:

Onions

Tomato

Carrots

Peppers

Mushrooms

And herbs/spices

As with the scrambled eggs, you can then choose to cook these in the pan or the microwave (although I’d recommend leaving the onions out if you’re going with the microwave route). I’ve done both, and they’ve both been delicious. Personally I like my onion/tomato/carrot/sausage/cheese omelette with ketchup all over it, so if ketchup’s your thing, go crazy!

And if you’re still hungry, you can always double upgrade your egg dish to a sandwich (I’d recommend toasting the bread to keep it from getting soggy, but it’s up to you). Bread’s pretty filling, and it’ll complement your eggs wonderfully.