Bom. Chicka. Wah-Wah.

Wait. They’re in a crypt, in the middle of a graveyard… they spent the night there…. kinky.

Oh look, they’re at it again. Respect for the dead is officially at an all-time low. Aren’t her parents buried in there? Y'know what, let’s just leave them to it.

_________________________________________________________________

What’s in Hooks bag?

Guyliner - check.

Rum - check.

Jello - check.

_________________________________________________________________

“I’m really feeling guilty about driving my daughter to run away from her family by making her feel like a monster and a danger to those she loves.”

“No, you mustn’t think like that. It’s not your fault”.

“It’s a little bit her fault, mate.”

“SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT”.

“Hi guys. I’ve been out all night traipsing in the woods undetected. I’d just like to take this opportunity to question the level of parenting I’m receiving from the adults in my life."

"Wait…. now that you mention it, where’s the baby?”

*Thankfully Belle was teaching baby Neal to read at an eight grade level*

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No, it’s fine. I wasn’t hungry or craving chocolate at all. Thanks Once.

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“Help me Gold. My magical puberty has turned into a magical menopause. Mood swings, hot flashes and the uncontrollable urge to decapitate people.”

“Sounds like an average day to me, minus the hot flashes.”

“I also gave my son a papercut-sized injury, which I am blowing out of proportion because I’m so full of feelings right now. Please help me!”

“Fine. Let’s do this spell that was conveniently sitting on top of my counter. I’m sure you won’t find that suspicious at all.”

“I am also hoping you won’t notice this conveniently placed map, nor the fact that you must come alone to the creepy abandoned manor. Please sign this contract stating that I get all your stuff when if you die.”

“This can only end well.”

_________________________________________________________________

“Sorry to bust in guys….”

Evil Queen striding in being a badass bitch with her left boob hanging out is everything we need from any scene.

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“BRB, got to go get my talking phone from your driving carriage so I can press the Emma button.”

“Emma, it’s been three and a half seasons, please don’t tell me after this long you made a deal with the Crocodile. At least I get some credit, I’ve only been here since season 2.”

_________________________________________________________________

With the exception of Narnia, that is probably the most surprising thing anyone’s ever found in a wardrobe.

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It was only after graduation that Ingrid began to regret her masters degree in mime.

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Lol. Alcoholism.

No seriously, this guy makes Hook look like a teetotaller.

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The rare and exotic sighting of someone in a relationship admitting they’ve been a complete fucking idiot.

Convenient map is once more convenient.

_________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile…

“Fucking Nickelback…”

SUDDENLY…

“Shit!”

Phew, that could have been a nasty accident, at least all that happened was the car swerved slightly off the road and into a small ditch. This should only cause a minor bump.

… Emma? … Pfft, drama queen.

_________________________________________________________________

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