RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

In this edition, we learn that homosexuality is as contagious as the common cold, public schools are pushing homosexual/Islamic indoctrination and that President Obama may be behind the death of a state official involved in the release of his birth certificate. And no, there is absolutely no evidence to actually support any of this.

5. Homosexuality Is Contagious

Televangelist Pat Robertson knows better than to tell his 700 Club viewers to outright shun their gay friends. Instead, he just advises them to be cautious of inviting them gay people into their homes, especially if children are around. If kids meet gay people, Robertson warns, they might end up becoming gay themselves…since we all know that homosexuality is contagious:

4. Medicare Gun Registry?

Much like the discredited conspiracy theory that the health care reform law will lead to mass gun confiscation, gun activists are now warning people that signing up for Medicare will aid the government in creating a gun registry. National Rifle Association president Jim Porter recently warned that Medicare will ask enrollees about gun ownership in order to create a federal gun registry, paving the way for confiscation. In fact, Medicare doesn’t ask applicants about gun ownership, but a complete lack of evidence never stopped the NRA from trying to scare its members.

3. Public Schools’ Islamic Indoctrination

Bradlee Dean is not only worried that public schools are turning kids gay, but also concerned schools are trying to convert kids to Islam. The right-wing preacher writes in WorldNetDaily that “Muslim in Chief” Obama is making sure that students in public schools are “indoctrinated with the Muslim religion” and learn from an “anti-American curriculum.” God will soon punish America, Dean warns, now that schools are training young people in the arts of “learning to become a Muslim” and “staging a jihad.”

2. Obama Was Behind Plane Crash Death

Birther activists from WorldNetDaily to Donald Trump to Orly Taitz are exploiting the recent death of a Hawaii health department official in a plane crash, claiming that the Obama administration staged her death as part of a cover-up of the president’s supposedly fraudulent birth certificate. Loretta Fuddy originally drew the attention of birther activists when she “approved a waiver request allowing Obama to access certified copies of his birth certificate, signed by the delivery doctor, Obama’s mother and the local registrar,” according to NBC News.

Of course, it comes as no surprise that birthers are willing to stoop this low. Taitz is already demanding that the “8 courts and judges who received her cases to rule expeditiously on the merits and review the evidence of forgery and theft in Obama’s IDs before more people die in strange accidents.”

1. God Stopped Obama From Nuking America

Jim Garrow has been making the rounds on fringe right-wing “news” outlets to push his belief that President Obama almost nuked America and therefore deserves to be killed. Speaking with Alex Jones this week, Garrow alleged that Obama would have pulled off his scheme to launch a nuclear EMP strike against his own country if it wasn’t for the work of three military officials… and God.