Precisely three (3) pumpkin ravioli on a giant white plate.

A scoop of mushroom risotto served in a champagne glass.

A single portobello mushroom on a bed of kale that was previously used as a garnish at the raw bar.

A roasted carrot that fell off the plate of the guy eating a steak next to me.

Mashed potatoes :) in the shape of a chicken :(

Bacon-wrapped scallops with the bacon picked off. And the oyster picked off. You know what? Just suck on the toothpick for sustenance.

The olives from my martini.

A picture of a cow named Bessy with a caption about how a donation has been made in my name so that she won’t be slaughtered for one more day.

A whole head of cauliflower and a note from the chef that just says “I’m sorry.”

A bowl of mostly croutons and cheese.

The bruschetta from a cocktail-hour canapé tray, scraped over penne that someone found in the back of the pantry.

A slice of wedding cake. Also my date’s slice of wedding cake. Also the slice of wedding cake of the woman sitting next to my date.

A waiter will whisper the word “calories” in my ear until I feel full.

A delightful goat cheese, craisin, and walnut salad that will somehow leave me hungrier than I was before.

The bean burrito I brought in my clutch.