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Published on The Doomstead Diner August 4, 2019

Discuss this article & video at the Bugout Plans table inside the Diner

Longtime Diner readers know my enthusiasm for "Bugout Machines" which come in many different configurations and varieties. They can be as simple as your Car or Bicycle, but can also get pretty big and complex like RVs and Sailboats. All though have one thing in common: Their purpose is to help you GTFO of Dodge when Collapse knocks on your doorstep in your neighborhood.

Like all other plans to handle the ongoing Collapse of Industrial Civilization, all Bugout Machines and all Bugout Plans have their deficiencies, many of them quite easily identifiable. All of these deficiencies though tend to work on different timelines than a total Collapse does. The idea here is to have a good Near Term Survival Tool that can help you negotiate your way through the early stages of a Collapse.

Depending on your situation and budget, your Bugout Machine can go anyhwhere from a Used Bike & Trailer combo up to a Big Ass RV or Sailboat if you are Filthy Rich. Hell, it could even get bigger than that if you are Jeff Bozos and buy one of the Airbus A380s or Boeing 747s being currently retired by the airlines because these huge fuel guzzling flying behemoths aren't economic to fly or maintain. Their demise is one of the early Canaries in the Coal Mine signaling the demise of the aviation industry.

As bugout machines go, my Tioga was a pretty good one, not only did it provide you the means to GTFO of Dodge if necessary, it also provided a home and an insurance policy against ending up as a Homeless Cripple Freezing to Death on the Streets of Palmer, Alaska. For that reason alone, Tioga gave me Peace of Mind worth every penny I paid for her, which was quite reasonable, just $5000. An old RV of course, but reasonably well maintained with very low mileage on the engine. If we happened to get a Wildfire which consumed my current digs (we get them all the time around here these days), I would have a place to live while looking for a new more permanent dwelling. Although, I could live in Tioga permanently, I lived in a vehicle with a Cabin smaller than that one, the Freightliner I drove for 7 years across every last mile of the Eisenhower Interstate, consuming lord only knows how many 1000s of gallons of diesel.

However for me, Tioga had major deficiencies also, even before I became a Cripple. First major one was HORRENDOUS gas mileage. On a good day, on flat ground and open highway, Tioga got about 8 mpg. They were not terrifically concerned with optimizing fuel efficiency when this model was built back in the Jurassic Period of the 1980s. I was honest with the buyer about this fuel guzzling habit of this vehicle, and he was quite aware of it to begin with anyhow.

Second issue was its size and obviousness. The damn thing is just too fucking BIG to park on a city street and sleep unmolested by the local Gestapo for the night. It also sleeps 6, and I am just one lone Monast who needs a roof over his head and some better protection than a tent from REAL bears when sleeping at night out in the Alaska bush.

So about a year ago I replaced Tioga with SaVANnah, my new Bugout Machine, a raised roof full size 8 cylinder Ford Econoline van also purchased for $5000, but a decade newer circa 1999. Between getting still sicker last year and having a new replacement vehicle to at least temporarily escape a local Collapse, it was time to sell Tioga. However, it ain't easy to sell a 30 year old RV that currently is not running to anybody except a DIY guy who can fix it up himself. It took a while to find one of those guys, who is the son of a friend of a friend. lol. Friday he came over to look at Tioga in the storage unit, we agreed on a price of $1500 for her, and Saturday he came back over with another DIY friend of his to see if they could get it running and drive it outta there and back home to get a full refurbishing job and use to follow around his Musician son during the summer Tourista season to the various venues he goes to play at.

The video above is a record of this transfer of ownership of Tioga to a new owner who can use it and who will treat it with loving care. I am glad to see she got such a good new owner and did not yet have to be sent to the Land of Away in an automotive junkyard somewhere. I had considered that option just to get rid of the cost of the storage unit.

Now, many of you of course will be unhappy that this ICE powered vehicle is still out on the roads burning gas, and unhappy as well that I still own not just SaVANnah, but also a Ford Explorer 4WD SUV, circa 2002. Do I not know that these vehicles emit copious amounts of CO 2 and are helping to further broil the planet? Of COURSE I know that! I however live inside industrial civilization and I need devices to get around a neighorhood without much to speak of in the way of decent Public Transportation. I also drive these vehicles as little as possible, I do have alternative smaller, lighter EV powered vehicles to use for many things that most people will use their cars for. I am actively working to develop them and make them still better and more functional, not just for Cripples like me, but for everyone! Way cheaper than a Tesla, and you actually CAN charge these things up with a reasonable size solar PV array. You can follow all the developments on this project on the Diner YouTube Channel, CollapseCafe.com.

I am trying to keep off a Dogsled for as long as I can here.