Should You Reveal Your Bipolar Diagnosis?







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One of the most difficult parts of living with bipolar disorder is having to hide it due to its intense stigma.

What would you say if I told you that my brain doesn’t work the same way yours does? That there are times when I act very different and do things I wouldn’t normally do? Would you condemn me for it? Or would you try your best to listen and put yourself in my shoes?

How is it that when I tell people I have bipolar disorder that they immediately judge me? Either they call me crazy or they brush it off like it’s not a big deal.

One of the most difficult parts of living with bipolar disorder is having to hide it. The stigma attached to something as detrimental and potentially fatal as this disease is astonishing.

Not too long ago, I was hospitalized for extreme depression and suicidal thoughts. I had to undergo about 3 weeks worth of intensive outpatient therapy in order to learn coping skills to help me deal with life’s issues. During that time I befriended a few people with my same mental disorder. Not in my 28 years of life on this planet did I ever meet such kindhearted, extraordinary souls. They treated me like a daughter. Always encouraging me and saying it’s OK to feel weak at times. They told me to rely on them for support and that they thought I was sweet and smart.

One older woman in particular mentioned that she was having financial trouble and was looking for a roommate. Recently divorced, her ex-husband decided that he couldn’t take the bipolar anymore and wanted out. This left her heartbroken and alone. She wanted and needed someone to live with her. So she put an ad on a local website and waited for responses.

After a week or so, one woman responded and eventually started the move in process with her. Everything was looking like it worked out. The lease was about to be signed and no longer would my friend feel alone. Then one day, my friend told me the worst possible news: her roommate of a few days was moving out! When I inquired as to the sudden change, my friend said she told her roommate she was bipolar. My friend wanted to be honest and upfront since they were going to be living together. Once my friend mentioned that to her roommate, the room went quiet. The only thing this woman could say was that she didn’t want to live under the roof of someone who “could go crazy and slit her throat in the middle of the night.”

After that, my friend became extremely paranoid about telling anyone looking to live with her about her bipolar. Slowly her bipolar depression began to consume her spirit and left a mark of uncertainty and self-doubt.

Whatever the consequences or circumstances behind her ex-roommate giving up on her because of her disorder is beyond me. There may have been something in the past that drove her away. But in all honesty, you cannot and should not ever judge someone by a label. You have no idea what that person has had to claw, scrape, and bite through to survive on this hellish planet. Life is hard enough without having a brain disorder. Life is hard enough without having support. Life is hard enough without having stigma shoved unnecessarily in our faces.

Those of you reading this have a choice to make. Will you or will you not divulge your bipolar to others? Is it worth it? Who among your close connections needs to know?

I know this story is disheartening but not everyone reacts as drastically as this woman did. Not everyone judges a person by their diagnosis. Not everyone is as close-minded and cruel.

Don’t allow yourself to be stigmatized. If there is someone in your life that is treating you badly for your diagnosis then get rid of them. Your health and happiness are your top priority. Not your career. Not your responsibilities. You. Don’t ever forget that.