Stephens: Gay CSU athlete going public was necessary

"Andrew, what do you want for dinner?"

"I'm not going to be at dinner tonight, Mom. I'm going on a date."

"With who?"

"Michael."

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

Andrew Goodman almost feels guilty about the way he told his parents he was gay.

Standing in his family's Colorado Springs home, there was no hesitation as a boy's named rolled off his tongue. It was spoken with the same nonchalant confidence he exudes on race day, starring as one of the top distance runners for CSU in track and cross country.

His Catholic parents weren't asked to brace themselves for big news. He just said "Michael" and assumed they'd accept it the same way they would have accepted "Michelle."

They did.

Goodman didn't want the moment he revealed his sexual orientation to his family last year to be any sort of ordeal. He sees himself as a casual guy who prefers to keep the mood light in any situation, which probably comes off as ironic, given the medium he used to come out as the first openly gay athlete in Colorado State University history on April 13 was a 2,500-word feature on OutSports.com.

It was a grand stage to do it on, and Goodman was at first hesitant after initially connecting with the author, Erik Hall, through a dating app. But the more he considered putting his story on the Internet, the more he realized the value it could have. Not for him. His teammates, his friends, his family already knew he was gay — he was past the point of caring how other people viewed him. But to anyone struggling with the idea of being true to who they are.

The positive response Goodman has received in the past two weeks has been overwhelming, he said, filling his inbox with more than 50 emails to go with a barrage of Twitter and Facebook messages and a handful of voice mails. Most of the responses, including from a college swimmer and a couple of runners, identified with his story and thanked him for having to courage to speak up, potentially prompting them to soon do the same.

"It was definitely a big surprise. A lot of support from outside sources that you just don't even expect. People contacted me via email that I obviously had never met before, which was really reassuring," Goodman said. "At some point, you're doing it for a bigger purpose — not just for yourself — so that other people are more comfortable with it and ... it's not as much of a weird taboo thing in society."

Then came the negative responses — the ignorant responses — using hashtags #BeTrueToSatan and #Death-ToRainbows or, as a Facebook user suggested, "what homosexual isn't running to the news to come out?"

While the stigma surrounding homosexuality in the United States is beginning to subside, the world of athletics — especially among males — trails far behind when it comes to equality. Goodman chalks that up to what he calls the gender spectrum, dividing masculine from feminine. It tends to put male athletes in a box where they have to be tough guys, because that's just the way jocks are.

But Goodman isn't like that. He's a fast talker with a high voice who his mother calls her most effeminate child, yet he's a star athlete, a Mountain West champion, an all-conference selection, an NCAA national qualifier.

Why was it necessary for him to make a public announcement about his sexuality?

Because Goodman doesn't fit the mold that so much of society has told him to. The fact that a CSU student-athlete happens to be gay shouldn't be newsworthy. Nor should Michael Sam, Jason Collins, Brittney Griner or Derrick Gordon, but it is — for now.

Hopefully, not for much longer.

The You Can Play Project that's been adopted by the NHL, MLS, CSU, the University of Notre Dame — an icon of American Catholicism — and at least 57 other colleges in the U.S. and Canada is a step toward universal inclusion.

More promising is how virtually every member of Goodman's track and cross country teams knew he was gay and yet it didn't leak beyond locker room. The same went for Sam at the University of Missouri. College athletes aren't fazed by who their teammates are dating.

No one else should be, either, but plenty are. The public judgment that reigned over Goodman's announcement was less severe, being that he's an athlete in an LGBT-friendly state, but keep in mind he wasn't using the media as a platform for attention; the CSU runner shared his story to let thousands of gay athletes know it's OK to be proud of who they are.

"(Coming out) was part of breaking down the stigmatism and showing that Iam OK with myself and other people should be, too, and that it's not taboo. I think that's the biggest thing, helping to normalize it, and if people are saying things like (what's the big deal?), maybe it is becoming more normal," Goodman said. "If it's getting to the point that it's annoying that so many people are doing it, then maybe you're getting the point that it is OK."

For insight and analysis on athletics around Northern Colorado and the Mountain West, follow sports columnist Matt L. Stephens at twitter.com/mattstephens and facebook.com/stephensreporting.