It was just past midnight in early 2011 when, aged 17, I was sat at the kitchen table at home in a village in Cumbria, north-west England, frantically searching for my sexuality online. I was Googling things like “lesbian help” and “coming out” when I discovered Stonewall, an LGBT+ charity. I’d known I am a lesbian since about 14. Three years later, having been brought up in a school and a church that made me feel invisible, I was hitting crisis point. It felt like I wasn’t living; I was surviving.

At the time, Stonewall was promoting a campaign called “It Gets Better...Today” – aimed at supporting gay students in schools – featuring videos with celebrities including Heather Peace , an activist, actor and musician. I’d never heard of Peace, but she was instantly relatable: she looks vaguely like me, she is from the north – and she is a lesbian.

In the video, Peace talked about her first kiss with a girl on Canal Street, Manchester, and echoed the sentiments of the initiative: “You’ve got to be true to yourself, and things really do get better.” In that moment, just before expertly wiping my browser history, I felt less alone. That video gave me hope. It convinced me that I could get my A levels, come to London and actually be happy. (And, right now, I am.)

Today is Lesbian Visibility Day, which is an annual celebration of the diverse lesbian community internationally. Having visibility – and real-life role models – really matters. For me, it validated my identity. Peace’s video kept me going. Her visibility meant that I didn’t feel like a freak, or an insult, or the subject of degrading porn that the boys at school laughed about. It made me see that I’m normal. It left me with the belief that coming out would hurt, but that it would ultimately, undoubtedly be worth it (my mum initially struggled to accept who I am – she’s now a big supporter).

Lesbian Visibility Day: Most influential lesbian women of 2019 Show all 10 1 /10 Lesbian Visibility Day: Most influential lesbian women of 2019 Lesbian Visibility Day: Most influential lesbian women of 2019 Kristen Stewart Even though she only came out in 2017, the actor seems to have long made a point of taking on roles which allow her to portray queer characters. Last year, she played Chloe Sevigny’s lover in thriller Lizzie, but her performances in Camp X-Ray and Personal Shopper have been argued to be unspokenly queer. Getty Images Lesbian Visibility Day: Most influential lesbian women of 2019 Liv Little The 25-year-old founded gal-dem, a UK-based digital publication launched by and for women and non-binary people of colour, which she started while still at university. The magazine has gone from strength to strength, securing investment and sponsorship from the likes of Glossier and partnerships with Penguin Random House and The Guardian. She is currently working with Stonewall and Absolut Vodka to spread awareness on how to be a better LGBT+ ally. Liv Little / Instagram Lesbian Visibility Day: Most influential lesbian women of 2019 Ellen Page One of the most vocal openly gay women in Hollywood, Page got married to her partner dancer and choreographer Emma Portner last year, after writing a lengthy Facebook post in which she called out the homophobia and sexism she has experienced in the film industry. The post was shared more than 250,000 times and widely praised for raising awareness of issues which had for so long been ignored. Getty Images Lesbian Visibility Day: Most influential lesbian women of 2019 Ruth Davidson Leader of the Scottish Conservative Party since 2011, Davidson is one of the most visible queer women in UK politics. Last October she gave birth to a baby boy conceived via IVF with her fiancee Jen Wilson. PA Lesbian Visibility Day: Most influential lesbian women of 2019 Ellen DeGeneres One of the most famous lesbians on the planet, DeGeneres’s rise to fame after coming out in 1997 via her eponymous sitcom – which promptly got cancelled – is one of the most powerful stories of grit and vindication in the business. In 2018, DeGeneres appeared in a Netflix stand-up special, Relatable, which was widely praised. The Ellen Show/YouTube Lesbian Visibility Day: Most influential lesbian women of 2019 Lupe Valdez Had the 2018 midterm elections gone differently, Valdez – a Latinx lesbian woman and former Dallas County sheriff – could have become governor of Texas, one of the most notoriously socially conservative states in the country. She narrowly lost the election, but her Democratic nomination alone made history. Getty Lesbian Visibility Day: Most influential lesbian women of 2019 Ruby Rose Last year it was announced that the Orange Is The New Black actor was cast as Batwoman in an upcoming show, making her the first openly lesbian lead superhero in television. While she uses female pronouns, she has also stated that she is genderfluid and enjoys being perceived as androgynous. Her popularity among heterosexual women who claimed they would “go gay” for Rose prompted an ongoing discussion about the nature of sexuality and queerness. Getty Images Lesbian Visibility Day: Most influential lesbian women of 2019 Kate McKinnon McKinnon is known for celebrity impressions of everyone from Justin Bieber to Kellyanne Conway. She’s also the first openly lesbian cast member of Saturday Night Live. Her impressions are often politically driven and scathing of the Trump administration when it comes to issues such as immigration and gender equality. She was recently cast in an upcoming film about the Fox News sexual harassment scandal. Getty Images Lesbian Visibility Day: Most influential lesbian women of 2019 Phyll Opoku-Gyimah Perhaps one of the most prolific LGBT+ activists in Britain, Opoku-Gyimah is the founder of UK Black Pride. She is also head of equality at trade union PCS, trustee at Diva Magazine, a publication for queer women, and co-editor of Sista!, a collection of writing by LGBT women of African and Caribbean descent. In 2016 she refused an MBE. Alamy Lesbian Visibility Day: Most influential lesbian women of 2019 Sandi Toksvig Writer, actor, comedian and co-founder of the Women's Equality Party, Toksvig is often considered the first high profile British woman to come out as a lesbian, and thanks to her TV work and advocacy remains as relevant as ever. PA

In recent years, lesbians have seen increased prominence. In Britain, Ruth Hunt was appointed chief executive of Stonewall in July 2014 (she will retire from her role this summer), while Lady Phyll has worked relentlessly to ensure the continued success of UK Black Pride.

A raft of TV shows have raised the profile of lesbian or queer women’s experiences, including the long-running The Ellen DeGeneres Show (hosted by lesbian comedian Ellen DeGeneres); Orange Is The New Black (starring openly lesbian actors Lea DeLaria and Samira Wiley); and the BBC’s Lip Service (with Peace in a main role). More recently there has been Desiree Akhavan’s film The Miseducation of Cameron Post; Lena Waithe’s Emmy award-winning “Thanksgiving” episode in the Master of None series; and, of course, the upcoming reboot of The L Word.

Still, I find that some areas of the LGBT+ community are disproportionately taken up by gay and bisexual men. Like the rest of society, men are too often in the highest positions and the most visible.

In the mainstream media, as a journalist, it’s rare for me to see radio shows or newsrooms discussing recent LGBT+ stories – including the Birmingham school protests – with lesbians or bisexual women rather than gay men. I think the patriarchy exists within the LGBT+ community, and that lesbians just don’t have same exposure as their male counterparts.

We need to give more space to lesbians, as well as bisexual, queer or pansexual women. This visibility needs to be intersectional so that it strikes a chord with all, including lesbians of colour, disabled lesbians, and trans and non-binary lesbians. It should encompass, too, women of different religions, ages, nationalities, body sizes, socioeconomic backgrounds – and, I’m sure, more.

It’s also important to call out the disgraceful views of a small number of lesbians, who oppose rights for trans people and will try to hijack this Lesbian Visibility Day. Their bigotry was highlighted at Pride in London last year, when around ten anti-trans lesbians gatecrashed the front of the parade, claiming that “transactivists erase lesbians”. This is completely wrong. Trans and gender non-conforming people have stood by lesbians throughout the gay rights movement (Marsha P Johnson and Sylvia Rivera were key figures in the Stonewall riots nearly 50 years ago). We now need to support them as they fight for their equality.