Doing More of What Makes You Happy

What makes you happy in your life? What small things can you do more of to bring more joy into your life? It is an easy concept: Just do more of whatever you like doing! But in reality, it is kind of a hard practice to adapt. We have only so many hours in the day: we have priorities, responsibilities, chores to do, events to attend — the list goes on. How do we fit it all in?

As I am writing this post, I am sitting on the metro north train – a hop skip and jump from Connecticut, through manhattan and into jersey city. My sister is hosting me and my other sister, and our boyfriends, for a nice little get together lunch. A little time of happy celebrations before my youngest sis goes back to college for the semester.

As happy as I am, and as excited about the day’s adventure, I am feeling a little sad too. Sad, because I have realized the last few days I have pushed aside doing what makes me happy to make room for other priorities.

Doing More of What Makes You Happy

For me, one of the most important things I can do to add more value and joy into my life is going to the gym on the daily. Even if it is just for an hour, or a half hour, the time focused on getting my heart rate up clears my mind. It makes me feel stronger, more confident, and happier when I exercise regularly.

But finding that time to get to the gym can be hard. And the last two days I missed out on opportunities to fit it in. I chose to do other things instead: Spending more time with my guy. And Now I am disappointed in myself – sad that I didn’t put myself first.

Being in an relationship, this is one of the things I really struggle with. I want to get to the gym once a day, but sometimes I find myself juggling the options in my head: I can either go to the gym now, or spend time with my boyfriend. I can either go to the gym tonight, or I can stay home and snuggle up with my guy to a few episodes of Game of Thrones (don’t knock it – it’s really awesome)

So the last two days, that’s what happened. I skipped the gym to spend more time with my boyfriend last night. And this morning, after a serious Netflix binge, I overslept. If I went to the gym, I knew I wouldn’t make the train we planned on taking for my sisters’ get together. And I know that by the time we will be back…. the gym will probably be closed. Lame. But this is what I am talking about: Fitting it all in.

You see my point… I slipped up in prioritizing my relationship over myself. And now I am really regretting my choices because I know I gave up something that makes me happy. I made the decision that being a good girlfriend was more important than being good to myself. And that is really no good.

Oddly enough, Matt is the first one to support and encourage any time I make for myself to do things that bring me joy. He is never the one to discourage me from putting myself first and going to the gym instead of hanging out with him. He loves to see me dedicated to something that brings me joy. And He is great for that. Qualities of an awesome boyfriend ::high-fives:::

But… knowing that, why do I end up putting our relationship time ahead of my own needs?

It’s simple really. Because I’m not perfect. I slip up. I make mistakes too. I’m sure you’ve had this struggle before. So lets talk about how you fix it. How do you reframe that mind set? How do you start doing more of what makes you happy and start putting yourself first ahead of your relationships?

How to Do More of What Makes You Happy: Put Yourself First

Any time I slip up like this I make sure to instantly let my boyfriend know how I am feeling. There is nothing worse than letting my bad feelings about my own actions affect our relationship.

I quickly tell him, “I know it wasn’t your doing, but I am realizing that I am not making time for myself the way I should because I am really just so excited to spend time with you instead. And it is really important to me that i don’t let this priority fall on the back burner. So Starting now, I am going to make sure I really put my gym sessions first for me.”

Telling him this really helps me hold myself accountable without blaming him for my choices. I am sure to always make it clear to him that my actions weren’t because of anything he said or did. After all, it isn’t his fault that i decided to just be lazy and cuddle up in my pjs all night instead of sweating it out.

I am responsible for my own decisions, always. But letting him know that I am having a hard time following through on doing more of what makes me happy, really helps me feel like we are a team and helps me feel like it’s okay to go ahead and do my own thing to make myself feel good!

Making more time for your happiness — even if it doesn’t include doing things WITH your partner — will actually make your relationship stronger. Do you enjoy solitude with quiet time and a good book? Make sure you do that as often as you can! Maybe you love a quiet bubble bath on a Friday night or Love watching a show your guy really isn’t into. Whatever it is that makes you happy, DON’T Give it up It makes you YOU!

Be honest with your partner and let him or her know that this is something that brings you joy. It isn’t about you spending less time with your love — it is about being a compete happy and balanced person so that you can be the best partner you can possibly be. Make that clear. And communicate.

Matt loves coming home from a long days work and playing his Xbox for an hour or so. It may sound like we are disconnected, but the truth is, I really don’t mind it. I know it is important to his relaxation time and I know it makes him happy. This is his “Matt Time,” as we jokingly call it. And mjy “Lauren Time” is going to the gym, listening to some good tunes and sweating it out. We all have different things that bring us joy and make us happy. And we should do them as often as we can!

So be honest. Do more of whatever makes you happy… even if your partner isn’t interested in the same thing. A happy person brings a lot more to the relationship table than a person who is constantly sacrificing what they enjoy.

Trust me. You’re mind, AND your relationship will be so much better off if you just go ahead and do more of what makes you happy!





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