When I first found out the news, I considered taking a leave of absence from work, because I had difficulty focusing on anything else besides the revelation from 23andMe. On a hard day, I feel heartbroken about my mom’s secret. Her illness created an intimacy between us in the final months of her life and I felt that we were able to tell each other all the things in our heart. This news taints that memory and created a fresh bout of grieving about her death.

I’ve since met my biological father, his wife, my five siblings, their spouses and children, as well as other extended family. I found out that I was conceived between my biological father’s first and second marriages. They are just how you imagine a warm, big-hearted Italian family to be: accepting, loving, and eager to create a relationship with me (I realize how lucky I am in this regard). Not growing up with them or knowing them sooner feels like a loss. Seeing a therapist, journaling, talking to trusted friends, and the passage of time have helped immensely. On a good day (and most days are good), I feel a tremendous amount of compassion for my father who raised me, my biological father, and my mother. I’m saddened that she couldn’t tell the truth even at the end of her life—surely she would have known we would have forgiven her. I also have empathy for her, especially after reflecting on the fact that she faced the decision whether to terminate the pregnancy and then carried the burden of the secret of my paternity for the rest of her life. Her childhood was filled with trauma and abuse and I’ve come to accept that she didn’t have the skills to take ownership of her choices.

But what a surprise to have in middle age!

Kasi Mireles Taylor

Aurora, Colo.

Oh my! Talk about timing.

For 66 years I have not only known who my family was, but also done fairly extensive genealogy research.

Three or four days ago, it became clear to me that half of those folks have no relation to me. While I’m not devastated that my actual father is a man I’ve never met and didn’t know existed, the news was a gut punch. I teared up knowing that I had given my name—a name that I was proud of, but a name that I had no right to pass on—to my wife and to my sons.

I’ll not be joining this support group, but there is an odd comfort in knowing that it and its members are out there.

My siblings are coming to town this weekend to give me a hug and show their support. That means a lot to me. Our mom, my biological father, and the dad who raised me have all passed, so really this changes little. Perhaps the only real change is the new family members that are out there.

Bill Williams

San Antonio, Texas

I, too, found unexpected results to my 23andMe and Ancestry DNA tests. When I got 23 percent Italian on 23andMe, I thought it was incorrect, so I tried Ancestry and got 30 percent Italian. I always believed I was half Irish, Swedish, and German.



I found I have two Italian first cousins I’d never heard of. My father—who I now believe was not my biological father—had both of his parents born in County Clare, Ireland. I always relished in my Irish heritage. Now I feel left out on a limb. There are no siblings left alive; my parents have passed. I have asked my nephew (my sister’s son) to do the Ancestry test to see if I come up related to him. I am 72 and now wonder, who the heck was my father? Is this correct, or was there a mistake somewhere?



This interesting test has turned out to be a nightmare. I lie awake at 2 a.m. wondering where the connection is. Very baffling.