Do you remember when birthdays were celebrated with a boxed cake, store bought frosting, a few balloons (blown up by your mom), and running around the yard? And if a pinata or pool was involved, you had it GOOD. How simple was THAT? They were filled with delight, friends, and tons of presents!

When exactly did we start celebrating birthdays with trampoline parks, amusement rides and cakes that might as well have been made by the Cake Boss himself? Oh, do not get me wrong- I am completely guilty of throwing these EXACT types of parties. But why? Let’s examine the reasons.

1. Pinterest. How many of you have boards titled “First Birthday” or “Birthday Ideas?” [cue hands going up] While we scroll down, the images of platinum parties infiltrate our brains and egos, as our own imaginations start going wild. Each party thrown at home has precious treats such as pretzel rods or strawberry milk, adorned with tongue in cheek labels, tying in to the theme. The tables are decorated with glass vases filled with candies and cookies dipped in the appropriate colored candy melts. Favor bags are filled with personalized Etsy items, sometimes with the birthday boy/girl’s monogram. A Frozen party might even have a wall of snow made with fishing line and cotton balls in order to set the frosty mood. Wait- that last one was my idea, not Pinterest’s. The thought of a party thrown in your home makes you feel like you are not going over the top when in fact, you usually end up paying well over $500. And that might only include 6 kids.

2. The Sparkle! Yes, I am referring to the sparkle of glitzy, ritzy parties in germ infested warehouses. We have all had that moment when your child came home from school with a professionally printed birthday invitation (from a kid you have never heard of), asking with pure joy, “Can I go? Can I go?” Of COURSE they want to go to the super- holy- shit package birthday at the coolest new locale in town! Who wouldn’t????? Seriously though, some of those parties are super cool!!! And they also require minimal effort on mom, which is a major plus! But it WILL cost you. Like I said, I am guilty of throwing these $25 per kid parties as well, even though I won’t even glance at a meal over $18 at Applebee’s!

3. Competition. I can tell you are ready to skip this paragraph. “Not me, I’m not competitive.” Let’s be honest, here. We live in a time of parenting when comparison is almost a daily occurrence. This does not have to mean that you are looking over at your fellow mom-friends and judging them on their failures. More often than not, it is actually you feeling defeated and sub-par, as you measure yourself up to others. We do it to ourselves and I am most certainly guilty of doing this myself. These feelings stir up a need to measure up- to the moms around us, the other parties thrown and even what we see on the internet. It becomes a race to the finish, which in this case is the best or most unique party of the year.

Let’s stop the BS. Kids do NOT care about Pinterest. They care about cake and presents. Balloons are nice and so are colored plates, but you do not need to make it a part time job to prep for the party. Instead of taking that time to plan out that one day, spend that time with them. Talk to them about what brought them the most joy in the last year and make a plan to do more of that in the year ahead. I promise you that your children will appreciate this so much more. Don’t have the space for a party, but still want to celebrate? I get it. I am currently renting and fear for the safety of the kids (and my walls) if I was to have a group here all at one time. You still do not need to spend half a grand to bring a smile to your child’s face. My oldest child’s first party was thrown at a local park that had a playground, river, and plenty of room to run around and have fun. As I write this, I wonder why I have never done this again!! I need to free myself from the chains of spending tied to my kid’s birthdays as well! And, let’s be real. No one who loves you cares what type of party you have for your son or daughter. They are the ones that have seen your sink full of dishes, folded clothes on your couch (sometimes for over a week), and the fingerprints all over your walls, that have never been cleaned. They are your tribe and they want to wave the white flag of surrender to this craziness of birthdays, just like you! Realize that you will also be gaining some more money in your pocket, less stress the week of the birthday, and the pleasure of knowing you have not bought in to this birthday madness that has become the norm. Celebrate your newfound freedom! Just be sure to get the boxed cake….and maybe throw in that cool pinata!