ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A self-confessed simple man who often regales his small circle of drinking acquaintances at the Saint Ponting Hotel down Old City District (with stories of himself driving home from the pub while heavily intoxicated) has said this afternoon that ‘those vegan farm invaders’ will end up killing somebody.

The protesters, who made headlines earlier this month for their self-indulgent Melbourne protest, have since claimed responsibility for a string of vandalism and other petty damages to local farms in the Diamantina – something that’s attracted the ire of local drinker, Peter Genk.

Genk, a semi-retired forklift driver who lists ‘defrauding the ATO’ as one of his interests on RSVP.com.au, explained to The Advocate this afternoon over a few cold pints of Resch’s that any vegan caught trespassing on a farm should be charged under the ‘domestic terrorism act’.

“They’ll end up killing someone!” he said in his outside voice while inside.

“Those fucking bastards. Somebody should sort them out. They should all be in jail for attacking Australian farmers who are already doing it tough!”

“Especially the one’s who gambled on rain and lost, now they’re caught hand-feeding more stock than they can afford while they cry on breakfast television about it. Protect them! Divert foreign aid to our farmers, not our struggling pensioners or anybody else. To the farmers!”

However, the reckless sexagenarian failed to see the irony in his statement, telling our reporter that he didn’t understand what that word meant.

“Sounds to me like you’re a vegan, Errol?”

Peter then challenged our reporter to eat half a length of cabanossi he pulled from his pocket.

More to come.