T'was a chilly autumn day when I opened my door,

To find a package I had been most earnestly been waiting for.

My nerves all a-jumble and my excitement showing free,

I grabbed the package, ran inside and squealed with glee!

At my desk I did sit and stared at the gift,

I wondered and hoped and my heart it did skip.

The Halloween exchange is my favorite of all year,

My dreams were of candy and sweets (or maybe even beer!)

Collecting myself, I prepared for what could lay inside,

Questioning what my Reddit answers may have implied.

Was I thorough and clear? Did I answer something wrong?

Who was I kidding? I don't remember what I wrote at all.

I looked to the return address and blinked, a bit confused.

From "Dr. Reddit, DDS" it had said, my mind rather bemused.

For a minute I wondered where my gifter's thoughts had gone,

But quickly stopped, paid no heed and heartily barreled on.

The tape was soon broke as I opened the package flaps

To find a letter laying right on top... instructions, perhaps?

I unfolded the letter, wondering what my Santa had to say,

My mouth soon dropped open, showing shock and dismay!

It was a letter from a dentist ("Of course!" I thought),

Though this bit of news turned my stomach into a knot.

The letter sang the praises of his dentistry and clean teeth,

Not to mention the horrors of Halloween that lay beneath.

Gingivitis! Cavities! And plaque! Don't forget those gums!

Tooth decay is the real monster, we all know how he comes.

From chocolates, caramel, soda and all those sugary sweets,

But isn't that the prize from walking all night in the streets?

My Santa made a plea, providing the tools to help take care.

We can fight, take a stand and even protest, if we dare.

With a brush and toothpaste, floss and blue minty mouthwash,

I can say NO! to cavities and YES! to dental hygiene, by gosh.

As I stare at the letter and gifts, contemplating my life,

My mind suddenly goes dark and I reach to pick up a knife.

A day without candy is almost more than I can take...

What? No! Don't worry. I need to cut myself a slice of cake.

I wanted to thoroughly thank my Santa for the fun gift. Part of the joy from Halloween is both treats AND the tricks! I will be sure to put the gifts to good use and best of luck on your future protests! Hope your exchange was equally as menacing!

UPDATE - 10/20/14:

WOW. So... I received another unexpected package today on my doorstep from my Secret Santa. And I have not been more shocked by any Santa's generosity. Still reeling!

When I opened the door, there was a rather oddly wrapped package. Which turns out was because the package was damaged by the postal service (see picture). After using my cake knife to open the package wrapping, I looked at the mass of items inside.

On top of some microwave popcorn, oatmeal and tons of other Halloween candy, my Santa had apparently been perusing my Amazon wishlist as well. I received copies of Halloween movie Trick 'r Treat and biopic movie Selena from my list. In addition to all of that, I uncovered The Last of Us for the PS3, which was also on my list. I could not have been more shocked!

I am already preparing for my night of watching movies, playing games and eating far more than I should!

Thank you so very much for the excellent Trick and most excellent Treats!!