

Vintage Vending #6: Moon Monster!

It’s been ages since the last Vintage Vending post. Let’s fix that.

Pinpointing an exact date is impossible. All I can be sure of is that these came out in the ‘80s. The “Moon Monster” title was just their way of skirting copyright issues, because these are obviously Godzilla toys. Hell, the whole collage behind the toys consists of stills pulled directly from Godzilla movies.

The prizes are Godzilla figure/stampers. They are TERRIFIC. I don’t know enough about Godzilla lore to name every monster, but I know King Ghidorah when I see him, and best of all, the goddamned Smog Monster is in there. Hedorah the Smog Monster!

I’m shocked that these were only a quarter a pop. Even by ‘80s standards, Mystery Company X could’ve gotten away with fifty cents.

Plus, there were no duds. Even if Godzilla was the chaser, all of the monsters look interesting. I mean, the plainest guy here looks like a big fat bipedal alligator with a hand growing out of his head.

You just couldn’t go wrong with the “Moon Monster” set. Come to think of it, it’s fun to pretend that this had nothing to do with Godzilla, and really was about giant monsters who battled on the moon. I want someone to build a franchise around that concept. I see it with a female narrator, and outtakes under the end credits.

With quality control rarely seen in the arena of vending machine prizes, each rubber stamp matched up with the particular figure. I’m not willing to tear apart the world’s last remaining “Moon Monster” teaser card, but if I was, I could make a half-inch Hedorah my official seal.

You know what? You only live once:

IT WAS WORTH IT!

I want to send mail to everyone now!