One of my favorite unmade films of all-time is a little something called Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, a never-was sequel to Tim Burton’s 1988 comedy-horror classic Beetlejuice. Screenwriter Jonathan Gems (Mars Attacks!) explained the premise as, “Tim thought it would be funny to match the surfing backdrop of a beach movie with some sort of German Expressionism, because they’re totally wrong together.” Haha, that Burton, what a card. What Culture has the plot description, and indeed, Beetlejuice DOES goes Hawaiian:

The movie would have been a direct sequel (with all the actors back) following the Deetz family moving to Hawaii where Charles is developing a holiday resort only to find it was being built on an ancient Hawaiian Kahuna burial ground, which brought back spirits from the afterlife and it would work much the same way as the original. With one exception…Beetlejuice would win a surfing contest with magic! (Via)

When news broke that Mad Men would be filming in Hawaii, Danger guessed that hijinks would ensue when Don and Megan trick “Bert Cooper and the other attendees of an important bow tie conference to switch their reservations from the big chain to Megan’s grandfather’s hotel,” which makes sense in context. I agree with my colleague that there will be shenanigans, but I think the funny buisness will involve Lane Pryce coming back to life and Bobby Draper winning a surf contest…with magic. EVERYTHING’S COMING UP BOBBY, VERSION 5.0.

Anyway, here are some va-va-voom images of attractive people Jon Hamm and Jessica Paré in bathing suits.





OF COURSE Don would read The Inferno while vacationing in Hawaii with his smoking hot wife. He’s saving The Bell Jar for their trip to Machu Picchu.