Be a funeral director they said

You'll help people they said

You'll make a difference they said

People will respect you they said

It's an honor and privilege they said



They weren't wrong, but what they didn't say was the heaviness and weight of death that you will carry will somedays consume you, some days burden you and some days make you wonder why did you ever willingly choose THIS.



Somedays I'm the punching bag

I am the person who deals with the anger because who else can a grieving person take their anger out on

Somedays I'm the cruel and evil person who makes money off of your loved ones death and I just carry around buckets of money preying on innocent people who are grieving

I am only trying to provide a service, I am only trying to respond to a death when I am called, I am only trying to keep my doors open so I can continue to help more people, but unfortunately that is not how everyone sees me

Somedays I am a miracle worker, I spend hours trying to bring back a decent image of your loved one who died in a horrible car accident and looked unrecognizable when they were first in my care

But somedays I'm a failure, because despite my best efforts, I didn't make mom look like mom

Yeah those days are the hard days



Somedays I'm the least favorite person you'll ever meet; here I am to carry your stillborn baby out of the hospital room in my arms instead of you taking your baby home

Trust me, on those days, I hate myself too...so why wouldn't you?



Be a funeral director they said

And when I mean "they," what I really mean is God

Because I never had one person who talked me into this

But God said, "you my dear, are a funeral director, and you were made strong enough for this"



Somedays I really believe I help people

Somedays I pray I do make a difference

Somedays I feel highly respected for what I do

Always, I feel honored and privileged to be trusted with the care of your loved one



I hold tight to those days, more than the days I fall short,

More than the days I question why I do this and more than the days I am scrutinized for being perfectly imperfect.







-Alyssa Fullerton

29 yrs old

Funeral Director

Mason City, IA









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