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An altercation with a cliche on International Women’s Day, Rules for Radicals, why no one goes to sporting events, The Dodgers commit Opening Day ticket extortion, Peach sends in her greatest Jass number yet, the effect of weed on the police, Grant Mooney has a podcast, Nick Rekieta Bible-splains to me, Stove hits on JLH, why Rucka will never be on this show, raising your children without a fourth act, Martin Shkreli makes people happy, more sure-fire pickup lines from America’s Wingman, and Maddox admits to impersonating “Heather S” [in an attempt to destroy Asterios’ career]; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

This week, in a move that has bottled legal minds and non-legal minds, and even the minds of children and dogs and whales and horses, across the Internet, Maddox has confessed to impersonating “Heather S”, emailing Asterios’ employer, and telling tall defamatory tales of his alt-right comedy harassment campaigns and the “women’s comedy group(s)” that have noticed them. Here is the affidavit Maddox filed with the court in which he admits impersonating Conde Nast employee (and senior content producer) “Heather S” (page 5) for no apparent benefit to himself.

Orangutan Affidavit (page 5)

And continuing on in that same document (page 8+) are the emails Maddox wrote while pretending to be “Heather S”. It’s a much more interesting read when you know for certain it’s him, and also a disturbing look into the deteriorating mental state of a man who seems to operate with a 10-year-old’s understanding of the world around him. Maddox has been compared to “Chris-Chan” before, an infamous lolcow known for his deranged mental state and quasi-sexualized Sonic/Pokemon amalgam “Sonichu”. I always thought that was a hyperbola (hehe) until this latest admission, but the similarities in their derangement is now unmistakable. Granted, it’s uncertain whether or not Maddox derived any sexual pleasure from pretending to be a woman online and corresponding with “other” women in executive roles–maybe ones who exhibit the markers of feminine empowerment and independence that Maddox has railed on for decades, but that he also secretly yearns for to escape a childhood of mental abuse manifest in his gender–but whether or not he was getting off while pretending to be a woman online, Maddox does seem to have satisfied the legal requirements for Criminal Impersonation in the Second Degree. What happens now is anyone’s guess. Nick Rekeita calls in with his.

Here is a recreation of Maddox’s disturbing transformation into “Heather S” by Andy Lee AKA CallOfTheDeep (Patreon). Apologies to the real Heather S. Please don’t use this as a #MeToo story.

As always, the most recent lolsuit documents can be found on lolsuit.com, but first…

Grant Mooney, the creator of “Maddox Lost” Titanic song and the Patreon.com/Asterios Pokemon song calls in to talk about his podcast Thought Cops, and ends up reading some news! How about that.

Ken Doll In Hide sends in “A Ramshackle Affair”, which this all certainly is. Here is Ken Doll’s Patreon where you can get direct access to the hits and correspond with Pim Tool himself.



Peach sends in this Jass Number, “Nobody Knew I was Heather”.



Elay Arson sends in diss track, “Podcast God”



The Dick Pics.

Thumbnail of an unappreciated fan who has only been kicked out of one Dodgers game by Ali Hassanein.



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