'Chinese men want wives who are easier to control': How China's high-flying single women are rejected because male suitors are intimidated by their successes



Millions of high-flying women aged 26-34 remain unmarried

Called 'sheng nu' - literally translated as 'leftover women'

New investigation by Dr Sandy To reveals men are intimidated by them

Sheng nu are split into sub-categories of 'maximisers' and 'satisficers'



Women say they are rejected by men who want someone 'easier to control'



Report published in journal Symbolic Interaction

'Leftover women' are highly successful career women aged 26 to 34 who remain unmarried

Hysteria is growing in China about the number of unmarried 'leftover women' - but the fault lies with the country's insecure male population, according to a new investigation.



Far from spurning suitors, highly successful career women aged 26 to 34 badly want to be married, but find themselves constantly rejected by Chinese men who are uncomfortable with their careers and achievements.

The findings come from Dr Sandy To, a sociologist based at the University of Hong Kong.

One woman, a 29-year-old fund accountant with a UK Master's degree, described how a potential suitor, introduced to her by her parents, backed off because 'he said he felt that he had to spend a lot of effort to control me, so he chose someone else who was easier to control.'

Another interviewee, a financial services manager, 33, said: 'I used to date a guy who was much older… He preferred me not working. His idea was that I should quit work after we got married.'

The results come just one week after the country's communist government upset its young female population by ordering its feminist All-China Women’s Federation to use the derogatory term 'leftover women' in order to urge them into marriage.

Far from spurning suitors, these women badly want to be married, but find themselves constantly rejected by Chinese men who are uncomfortable with their careers and achievements

China's government and media are concerned over the phenomenon of the 'sheng nu' - literally 'leftover women' - who remain unmarried despite having a good education and high-flying jobs.

In 2007, the Chinese Ministry of Education attributed their failure to find a husband to their 'overly high expectations for marriage partners', in an official explanation of what sheng nu means.

But Dr To's investigation into the first-hand experiences of these women found that these women struggle to find a lasting relationship because of the constraints of the conservative, patriarchal society in which they live.



Specifically, the 50 women interviewed for the study - all educated to degree level and half with a Masters - found that men either discriminated against them because of their achievements, or expected them to spend more time doing housework in order to make their lives together a success - often at the expense of their jobs.

Dr Sandy To says many high-flying Chinese women wish to marry, but cannot find a man who is comfortable with their successes and achievements



Dr To said: 'During China's early reform era, management-level women faced discriminatory treatment in the marriage market.

'Maximisers' Vs. 'Satisficers'

Dr To's research found 'leftover women' could be split into sub-categories: Maximisers: women who seek out even higher-achieving men who will not be intimidated by them, or actively conceal their own successes in an effort to make themselves seem more compatible.

Satisficers: a fusion of 'satisfy' and 'suffice', these women take the opposite approach, actively seeking out lower-status men who will not force them to quit work and take on domestic roles, because they themselves are not in breadwinner jobs. Traditionalists: these are women who continually strive to find a typical marriage partner for their demographic and struggle psychologically with the pressure of social expectation Innovators: women who respond by actively seeking out a non-married lifestyle.

'Four decades later, my research found that highly-educated women in today's post-reform era still suffer from the same discrimination, as they are passed over for less-educated, less career-orientated women instead.

'Many of them want to pursue the traditional path of marriage and even end up seeking higher-status husbands in an effort to do so.

'Ironically, most are shunned by men because of their own accomplishments. These women can hardly be blamed for their "leftover" status, because they are the ones who are being rejected.'

Dr To, who is based at the University of Hong Kong, carried out the research while a PhD student at the University of Cambridge. Her study was conducted in Shanghai between 2008 and 2012 and involved Chinese women from 14 different cities.

For most Chinese people, marriage is still a 'must'. This has led to a nationwide craze for matchmaking reality shows on TV, and matchmaking events in public parks in almost every Chinese city, where parents advertise their daughters' physical and economic attributes on billboards.

Dr To wanted to find out why the so-called 'leftovers' had not got married, whether they wanted to do so, and how they were responding to the social stigma attached to being single in a culture which prizes marriage so highly.

Contrary to the assumption that sheng nu are somehow pioneers for a new, more liberated generation of Chinese women, Dr To found most remain keen to get married

Her four-year research project showed that despite official claims that these women snub men who fail to live up to their own standards, the reverse was often true.

Contrary to the assumption that sheng nu are pioneers for a new, liberated generation of Chinese women, most remain keen to get married



Many had been rejected by men who felt more comfortable with less accomplished women.



Others had struggled in relationships with boyfriends who expected them to spend less time at work and focus more on domestic and family life.