Welcome to this week’s edition of the Surge, our weekly ranking of presidential candidates according to unsolicited DMs from Pierre Delecto. But only the safe-for-work ones.





This week, we continue to be impressed with refreshingly stented Bernie Sanders. The next Nobel Prize in economics will go to whoever can get Elizabeth Warren out of this “Medicare for All” funding quagmire. Tulsi Gabbard is fighting with Hillary Clinton. Joe Biden needs a bailout. And Donald Trump is screwed. In Iowa, meanwhile, one candidate has jumped into the first tier of contenders, threatening to scramble the entire nominating contest, not to mention the Surge.