The sun is shining brightly on Horse Guards Parade as 30,000 screaming students with drums, whistles and placards holler their disconcertion at the coming bonfire of public education and public services. The parade is heaving and a brass band is playing the Liberty Bell, and teenagers on their first ever protest are dancing in the streets.

This is more like it. A considered report will follow, but here, in the interim, are a selection of the best chants and placards:

1. LGBT caucus: We're here! We're queer! We can't afford nine grand a year!

2. Hoodie-wearing sixth former with sign: Forget university, I can't even afford college any more. Where's my future?

3. Busted lookalike: This is not what I voted for!

4. Cortauld institute: Education is not a business! Keep your hands off my arts!

5. Man wearing a wig and suit made entirely from Monopoly notes: Do I look like I'm made of money? (see picture below)

6. Bath students: We are bath! We will march! (This one needs a bit of work).

7. Tiny teenager in a tutu with a megaphone: Marx was right! Marx was right all along!

8. Her friend's banner: Scrap bonuses, not EMA, TWATS!!!

9. Socialist students: Tories! Putting the N in cuts!

10. Handpainted placard: If it's Browne, flush it down!

11. Emo kid with sign: Is this the queue for Justin Bieber tickets?

12. Scotland: Gonnae no dae that!

13. Scotland: Free education - Scottish style not USA style!

14. London teenager with a placard: Fuck this, I'm moving to Scotland!

15. Polite hand-drawn slogan by Bath university student: I very much regret voting for the Lib Dems!