OMAHA, NE—Asserting that the workplace had to have multiple huge freezers, sources across the nation reported this week that the break room at the Healthy Choice corporate offices was probably completely stocked with every kind of Healthy Choice product imaginable. “I bet if you open the freezer at the Healthy Choice offices it’s just full of Country Herb Chicken, Beef & Broccoli, Homestyle Salisbury Steak, you name it—and employees can just grab whichever Healthy Choice they want for lunch,” said Georgia resident Shannon Torrance, echoing the claims of millions of others nationwide who stated that, if you worked for Healthy Choice, you could probably select a different meal every single day for a whole month, including some meals that likely haven’t even come out yet. “I’m sure the people who work there can eat as many as they want. If they want two Healthy Choices for lunch, they can do it. And that place must have someone whose entire job is just to come in at the end of the day and refill all the freezers with more Healthy Choices.” Reports further indicated that it was safe to assume the Healthy Choice break room had, at the very least, 10 or 12 microwaves.

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