Gather round children, a pop girlie has blessed us again.

Through all the doom and gloom of late, Dua Lipa has brought rainbow-splattered disco heaven to the corners of your home, and boy are we thankful.

With the release of Future Nostalgia, Dua has defiantly stared the sophomore slump in the face, producing one of the most polished, exciting and well-conceived projects in recent pop history. It’s more than just pop, it’s EXPENSIVE pop.

The undeniable influence of disco and 80s synth that run throughout the album are enough to cause intrigue. There’s reference upon layered reference to songs that marked my childhood and the period just before it; little snippets and easter eggs of disco tropes and 80s grooves. But to be clear, this album is NOT just a patchwork of historic samples and disco beats. It has been so carefully and cleverly produced to present sonically nostalgic songs in the most contemporary of pop-infused lights. A masterclass in not just music producing, but album conceptualising and marketing too. The campaign for this project has been EXCELLENT, and it’s sad that it’s being delivered amidst leaks and global epidemics (just casual things). But, we’re dancing it off for Dua. She’s earned it.

On opening the GIFT that is this project, we find that the album’s opener is also its titular track, Future Nostalgia. Werk.

I usually hate when artists do this, but because I love the title so much (it’s just so clever and is genuinely embodied by both song, and album), we’re letting it slide in this instance.

We’ve had Future Nostalgia in our grubby mitts for months now, and it was a fun promotional single that captured me, but never found the drive or grit that Don’t Start Now and Physical gave us. Other than that, she was a fun bop. It’s a great introduction to what the album is about – playing with electronic sounds, laced with lighthearted and irreverent lyrics, and something to dance to. It will never be a radio hit, sure, but its a solid ditty.

// BEST LYRICS //

You want a timeless song, I wanna change the game

Like modern architecture, John Lautner coming your way

I know you like this beat ’cause Jeff’s been doin’ the damn thing

You wanna turn it up loud, Future Nostalgia is the name (Future nostalgia)

// FUN EXTRA TIDBITS //

Dua sings ‘I know you ain’t used to a female alpha’ before canonising herself as a mainstay pop princess ready to battle in the big leagues with this album. Oh, YES, we’re ready for what’s to come.

// RATING //

I’ve made the bold claim before, and lord knows I’ll make the bold claim again, Don’t Start Now is pop perfection. It is literally a smash-hit-in-a-can type record, perfect for the clubs and radio, and genuinely is yet to get old in my speakers.

The energy of that infamous infectious hook – ‘don’t show up, don’t come out, don’t start caring about me now’ – is matched by infectious verses – ‘did a full 180, crazy’. What’s more, but the synth and electronic editing near the end of the track adds fun ad-lib and vocal moments that pack a punch. You just want to sing every ounce of this one, and I am still shocked that its magic has not worn off on me yet.

Don’t Start Now is still climbing the Billboard 100, looking to potentially peak at #2, having already stormed the UK charts. It’s a colossal hit.

// BEST LYRICS //

Aren’t you the guy who tried to

Hurt me with the word “goodbye”?

Though it took some time to survive you

I’m better on the other side

// FUN EXTRA TI DBITS //

For anyone wondering why this wasn’t a 5 star rating: I docked her 3 points for a mediocre music video, but gave her an extra 2.5 for that string of live performances that Dua SWEPT. Let’s not get it twisted.

// RATING //

I shamelessly indulged in the Two Gay Matts’ album reaction within the week, and in between their pop culture takes and scrutiny, they both definitively agreed that Cool was the best song on Future Nostalgia. More than just that, they claimed this is a song Carly Rae Jepsen would DREAM of being able to claim. When 2 people agree on something so unabashedly, you immediately do have high expectations. It was big talk for an album DRIPPING with impressive songs and a roster of disco heaven.

Now that I’ve listened to the album myself, I DO enjoy Cool, and I think it’s a much needed breather in between the high-energy of Don’t Start Now and Physical. But I think it is the placement between these two colossal numbers that is actually its slight downfall for me – the track never immediately hooks me, nor does it live up to the speculated Carly Slae parallels I had spent the week envisioning.

// BEST LYRICS //

I guess we’re ready for the summer

You got me, you got me losing all my cool

// FUN EXTRA TIDBITS //

In saying that Carly Rae doesn’t need to worry about anyone snatching her brand just yet, I WILL SAY I need a mash up of this and Want You in my Room. Gay rights allows it.

// RATING //

We’re giving her a three, which I’d personally be thrilled with if I was a track. It sounds harsh, but it’s decent approval for a decent song that failed to really add much to the fabric of my morning. So, simply put, I would go to battle for this track.

Can I just say both on and off the record, Physical is possibly the gayest song of all time, which we love to see. It has a jarringly good beat, lyrics you can’t help but sing along to, a rainbow palette, spandex and a VERY brave reference to Olivia Newton John’s copyrighted, trademarked and institutionally protected phrase ‘Let’s Get Physical’.

It is a COLOSSAL number that inspires more than just a two-step, but a three, four or even five-step prance around the living room. Full choreography is the only motive to be had for this one.

This song exudes an unstoppable energy – it’s disco, it’s pop, it’s high energy, it’s high DRAMA, it’s the very lifeblood of the gays. There’s something magic going on behind the production of this one. The music video was one of the most incredible 4 minutes of my 2020 so far (although, she’s been a shit year so is this a high bar?), and is definitely worth the view. She fed us with Physical, and I don’t think I can ever go hungry again now.

and vibe to Physical.

// BEST LYRICS //

All night I’ll riot with you

I know you got my back and you know I got you

So come on, come on, come on

Let’s get physical

// FUN EXTRA TIDBITS //

The rollout campaign for Physical was so much FUN and definitely the good energy/juju we want to be keeping relevant in these dark times. Have a little home workout on Dua’s behalf.

// RATING //

Is there any other answer?

Levitating? More like ‘ascending’ because that is what my body was doing for the entire 3 minute 24 second run time of this track.

You’re rightfully sweaty and drained after making it through your 15th listen of Physical in a row. You’ve lost all concept of other music existing at this point, and don’t know if pop can ever top this severe peak again. Then, Levitating comes on.

This is my favourite track on the album. Much like everyone else, I have bandied about the term ‘disco’ and ‘discopop’ every other sentence in this blog. But Levitating truly is both a wild celebration of rich disco history, and the epitomé of a modern take on the genre. Set to a series of claps and only the brightest of synthesised notes, the formula of this song is simple yet effective. Make people dance, make people smile, make people groove.

Your wooden floor suddenly flips open into the rainbow coloured tiles of a dancefloor. A disco ball shimmies down from the ceiling as you suddenly start clapping along to the beat you don’t even know yet. It’s feel good at its heart, and outrageously so. If you’re only going to listen to one track on the album, for the love of God make it this.

// BEST LYRICS //

You want me, I want you, baby

My sugarboo, I’m levitating

The milky way, we’re renegading I got you, moonlight, you’re my starlight

I need you, all night

Come on, dance with me

// FUN EXTRA TIDBITS //

Every time Dua sings ‘moonlight’, my mind collages every disco song I have ever heard – from Dancing in the Moonlight by Toploader to Blame it on the Boogie by the Jackson 5, this song makes you feel like you’re listening to all of them simultaneously. I have a That’s So Raven-esque vision and my serotonin becomes glitter in my veins to the soundtrack of these disco anthems.

// RATING //

This is what uncompromising perfection sounds like.

WHEW, following two anthemic dance-heavy tracks, Pretty Please is a welcome excuse to only have to head-bop.

It’s sonically one of the more interesting works on the album, and I genuinely do think it was put on Future Nostalgia for me, specifically, to love. Dua really sat back and thought ‘you know what sounds like it would be entirely up TT’s street? This. Let me stick it on the album then x’, and for that Miss Peep, I am forever thankful.

I DO love it, it’s catching and infectious. Easy to get along with, and a definite swayer. The beat, the vibe, the nostalgia. My skin was cleared, my quarantine lifted, Rihanna dropped her 9th album and I finally learnt how to sing the right words to Say So at the right time. Beautiful work. BUT, I wish she took the song somewhere a little HIGHER in the final chorus. It stays quite consistent the entire way through, which I think is a shame as it fails to ever make me have that heart-stop moment.

// BEST LYRICS //

Somewhere in the middle

Think I lied a little

I said if we took it there, I wasn’t gonna change

But that went out the window (Yeah)

// FUN EXTRA TIDBITS //

I think it’s so fun the guitar takes 2 seconds to kick in after she starts singing. After all of the production-focussed songs on the album so far, this song highlights her voice, a guitar and a drum kit, and that’s got to be applauded.

// RANKING //

You know in Ashley O’s episode of Black Mirror where they’re meant to produce like the cleanest and most streamlined pop song of all time for commercial success? Hallucinate sounds like this is what could have been made (no disrespect to On a Roll, of course). It sounds like every radio hit from the past 20 years has been averaged and condensed in to one song potion. This is our mean. This is our line of best fit.

It feels flawless without even trying, and rides a very consistent line of likeable throughout. It’s only downfall for me is the predictability and fact it doesn’t really bring anything new to the table like the other tracks. If Levitating and Physical were the main course banquets, Hallucinate feels like the appetiser that was tasty, sure, but did you REALLY need it? Did it change your life? Would you have preferred to buy a dessert instead?

// BEST LYRICS //

I hallucinate, when you call my name

Got stars in my eyes

And they don’t fade, when you come my way

I’m losing my mind, mind, mind, mind

// FUN EXTRA TIDBITS //

She says ‘hallucinate’ 11 times in this song and that’s something.

// RANKING //

It’s docked a point and a half for not doing anything OVERLY interesting.

A little strings moment, Dua’s lower register, a classic boogie backing track? We were intrigued from the off.

Love Again is the longest song on the album, but it really doesn’t feel like it as Dua slinks through smoky and sultry lyrics. While I’m fully aware the melody is not Bach or Mozart by any stretch of the imagination, the classical influences of this song are fun, with strings and pauses adding to the dramatic narrative.

The ‘call, respond’ pre-chorus structure really sings through this track. I thoroughly enjoy that the chorus evades expectation – it holds back and then goes BIGGER in other areas, a welcome surprise considering Dua usually sticks to a typical formula for her music.

// BEST LYRICS //

I can’t believe, I can’t believe

I finally found someone

I’ll sink my teeth in disbelief

‘Cause you’re the one that I want

I can’t believe, I can’t believe

I can’t believe there’s something left inside my chest anymore

But God damn, you got me in love again

// FUN EXTRA TIDBITS //

This song fits perfectly in a James Bond/Kim Possible universe somewhere.

// RATING //

Goddamn Dua, you got me in love again. I need to stop rating this album highly but…

Break my Heart was an interesting choice for the third single from Future Nostalgia in my opinion. Actually, I take that back, I think it’s perfect for radio play, and I can see why she released it for mainstream marketing. BUT… how is she going to sit on an album with Levitating and even Love Again as two vital components, and maltreat them so?

Break My Heart samples INXS’ ‘Need You Tonight’, a song I would probably label as the prime example of knowing a tune from somewhere but not being able to know why or how. She ELEVATES the 1987 backing beat from electronic riff to lightly synthesised disco-pop, which is a masterclass in song production, and shows a really impressive appreciation yet progression within music. But, the track strangely ventures too far into Mabel/Meghan Trainor territory for me. I think it’s the staccato words that mainly do this, and a great verse/pre-chorus build-up that then drops in to a simpler and smaller chorus. Listen to Mabel’s God is a Dancer, or Meghan’s You Too, and tell me these tracks don’t live in the same ballpark. Thinking about it now, did they all sample the same song? Suspicions luv.

// BEST LYRICS //

Centre of attention

You know you can get whatever you want from me

Whenever you want it, baby

It’s you in my reflection

I’m afraid of all the things it could do to me

If I woulda known it, baby

// FUN EXTRA TIDBITS //

Music video was flawlessly executed, yet again. The COLOUR PALETTE and SCENE TRANSITIONS *chef’s kiss*

// RATING //

I think it’s almost too on-the-nose pop for me, and doesn’t really give me anything I didn’t have before on the radio. Don’t get me wrong, if Jane down the street released this, I would stand back and applaud thinking ‘wow Jane, this is a proper banger’. But Dua, I think this single should have just been an album cut.

So the album leaks happened, lets not pretend they didn’t exist. In that week-long lieu period between criminal gays listening to the record, and the general public having access, I read LOTS of opinions on the songs. In particular, Good in Bed was pinned by numerous people as the one skip on the record.

I would just like to publicly ask these people, do they have ears?

Good in Bed is one of, if not THE, most sonically interesting tracks on the album. It spearheads a very early 2000s Lily Allen sound, punctuated by the candy pop noises found on Deee-Lite’s Groove is in the Heart . It’s not meant to be taken as the next Grammy contender for Song of the Year, let’s be honest, but IT’S A BIT OF FUN. How iconic that it is a whole song dedicated to how gratifying one of Dua’s sexual pursuits is, and you know what, in 2020 let’s allow women to sing crudely and unashamedly about sex. It’s so necessary in today’s climate. Why can men sing so brashly about sexual conquests, but women have to write sultry love songs? YES Dua, go and sing about getting that good pipe sis.

I get that the chorus sounds a bit odd (although, I don’t think it sounds flat like everyone’s claiming, I just think it doesn’t sound as classic canned pop as the rest of the album, sue her). The mad, bad, sad rhyme is also a miss. But as a track as a whole, she’s a 5/5 from me. FUCK IT, I’ve lost all inhibitions, she needs lifting up after everyone’s been so mean on the internet.

// BEST LYRICS //

‘I dedicate this verse to all that good pipe in the moonlight’

Generation defining. I am constantly dedicating things in my life to all that good pipe in the moonlight.

// FUN EXTRA TIDBITS //

This blogpost is also dedicated to all that good pipe in the moonlight.

// RATING //

Also my rating of all that good pipe in the moonlight.

Echoing what Two Gay Matts discussed in their review, IMAGINE ending one of the highest anticipated disco-pop albums of 2020 with an ANTHEM on rape culture.

Boys Will Be Boys propels itself at tackling unstable toxic masculinity, and actually goes deeper than most other similar tracks of the sort – not only talking about the need of women to walk home with keys between their knuckles, but calling out how this has almost been treated as a light-hearted fact by everyone.

NORMALISE SPEAKING SERIOUSLY ABOUT SOCIAL ISSUES IN POP MUSIC.

NORMALISE SPEAKING SERIOUSLY ABOUT SOCIAL ISSUES IN POP MUSIC.

NORMALISE SPEAKING SERIOUSLY ABOUT SOCIAL ISSUES IN POP MUSIC.

Dua encourages women to stop taking it and making it a joke, claiming it’s time people actually realise these issues SHOULD NOT be normal, and NEED ADDRESSING. In the closing stages of the track, Dua also goes on to sing ‘If you’re offended by this song, then you’re probably saying ‘boys will be boys”. I think this is genuinely such an insightful litmus test of being a douche or not. Simply put, whoever is sitting through the song not agreeing with everything she was saying is probably part of the problem themselves. Although Dua, I hate to break it to you, but your fanbase is 48% female, 48% gay and probably 4% people who liked Don’t Start Now on the radio. We’ll pass on the message for you though, don’t worry.

// BEST LYRICS //

If you’re offended by this song

You’re clearly doing something wrong

If you’re offended by this song

Then you’re probably saying

Boys will be, boys will be

Boys will be, boys will be boys

But girls will be women When will we stop saying things

‘Cause they’re all listening

No, the kids ain’t alright

Oh, and they do what they see

‘Cause it’s all on T.V

Oh, the kids ain’t alright

// FUN EXTRA TIDBITS //

Just to reiterate. NORMALISE SPEAKING SERIOUSLY ABOUT SOCIAL ISSUES IN POP MUSIC.

// RATING //

So brings us to the end of Future Nostalgia (and probably the start again because I WILL just be looping this album on repeat for the coming weeks). It’s a fantastic project, full to the brim of life, colour, positivity, sexuality, empowerment, rainbows, spandex and drama. The true antithesis and remedy to such dark times we’re in.

Dua Lipa, Dula Peep, whatever you want to be addressed as, you’ve officially been christened with another name after this project: Dua ‘No Skips’ Lipa. Wear it with pride.

My track ranking as of first listen:

1. LEVITATING

2. PHYSICAL

3. GOOD IN BED

4. BOYS WILL BE BOYS

5. DON’T START NOW

6. LOVE AGAIN

7. PRETTY PLEASE

8. BREAK MY HEART

9. COOL

10. FUTURE NOSTALGIA

11. HALLUCINATE

What did you think of Miss Lipa’s second album? Are you as enthralled with it as I am? What were your favourite tracks and WHY? Please let me know!