THERE are plenty of departure-lounge stories in Africa that could get you deported. Then there are what Baobab calls car-boot stories, the publication of which might result in a shot in the back of the head at night in some isolated spot and an unexpected meal of filet de hack for a hyena. Baobab has skirted around several car-boot stories in recent years including extrajudicial killings by police, money received by generals for non-existent soldiers and weapons, and gold and platinum vanished from central banks. But the classic car-boot story is drug-smuggling. Drug cartels are colluding with the state in west and east Africa to transport drugs into Europe. More significantly, large amounts of drug money are being laundered in Africa through opaque investments in stockholdings and property.

Since this Baobab, in years hence, has ambitions to wade into a river in the Outer Hebrides and catch a sea trout and to sail the African bit of the Indian Ocean, then as things stand an investigative piece is not likely to happen. But a report issued this month by the International Narcotics Control Board (INCB) touches on some of the broad themes.

Cocaine is being transported to Europe through west African countries in larger quantities than ever. According to intelligence sources at least 20% of the cocaine in Europe has come through west Africa. Much of it makes landfall in Guinea-Bissau, brought by fast boat and plane from the Caribbean. Other landings are made in Liberia, the Gambia, Guinea and Senegal. A lot of cocaine ends up in Nigeria. Some is bought by plush locals. Far more is trafficked to Europe aboard commercial flights. A Nigerian politician was arrested last year with two kilos of cocaine packed in condoms in his stomach as he prepared to fly out of the country. Another route is through the Sahara directly to Italy.

Unrest in Libya is likely being exploited by cartels to move in large shipments of drugs. A lot of this will be heroin coming from east Africa. The INCB estimates that 15 tonnes of heroin is smuggled into Europe each year from east Africa. Some of it is taken by air crews and passengers on commercial flights. The bulk is believed to be hidden in the holds of cargo planes flying roses from Addis Ababa, Nairobi and Arusha airports.