Editor’s note: This article was originally published October 2018

It is a well established fact that women represent only 4% of EVE’s player population. There’s no real one accepted reason why this is, though a few have been put forth. One CCP Dev who will remain anonymous said they believe it is because the object of agency within EVE Online is a ship, and not a person. One ex-CSM member believes that it is because the social structures of the game have evolved over time to exclude women. Another theory that is not easily attributable, is that women generally prefer to avoid the deceitful, underhanded gameplay of EVE Online. Whatever the reason, the number of women in EVE is quite low.



Most of the time the conversation centers around trying to increase this number. This is the wrong question. We really should be asking ourselves how we can lower this number. I say 4% is much too high! With a peak concurrent user count of about 50 thousand, that means two thousand of them will be women. This is entirely unacceptable.



EVE is a boys-only club. Everyone knows that although the sign “you must have a Y chromosome to ride” isn’t actually printed anywhere, it’s still there. Some women just didn’t get the memo, and joined anyways. While it’s probably against the law to actually disallow women from playing EVE, there are still actions that CCP can take to prevent women from playing EVE. There are also actions that the player base can take.



CCP can—and should—make sure that their advertising campaigns only target male gamers. There should never be any women featured, ever, in their advertising. Guys should be talking about guy things in CCP’s ads. Only focus on fighting and PVP, the kind of 80’s action movie stuff that appeals only to the manliest of testosterone powered men. I am not saying that a woman cannot enjoy this too, but CCP cannot achieve their no-women goal with just advertising alone.



CCP should make sure that the game remains hostile to women. The first thing they should do is keep the character creator focused on the Barbie Doll ideal. This is actually pretty common to the industry, so it’s not really that hard for them. Make sure that the male fantasy plays out in every female character created. Breast sizes should start at C-cup and then go into the absurd and obscene. Gravity should also never affect breasts; that would ruin the fantasy. Necklines should always be revealing. Female characters should also be constrained to high heels only. Everyone knows that women only wear high heels all the time, even to bed. Especially to bed. Whatever CCP does, they have to make sure that the male players with female characters can continue to fantasize.



While CCP is making sure that the female characters fulfil every man’s fantasy, they should also continue to make sure the New Player Experience voiceovers continue to use the male pronoun, regardless of what characters the players create, since we all know the kind of player CCP wants behind the screen: male. The voice over isn’t talking to the character, it’s talking to the player.



Speaking of players, they don’t get to slide either. Every time a player hears a female voice in mumble or discord, they should immediately make a disruptively huge deal about it. The correct response is always: “go make me a sandwich” or a solicitation for pictures of the girl’s breasts. Remember, players, females are just objects for men to enjoy.



Players can go one step further. Reikoku, the infamous T20 corporation, once had a full ban on female players. For some inexplicable reason they lifted this ban. Player groups can and should openly declare the treehouse rule: “No Girls Allowed.” If players make the game hostile to women, we can ensure that EVE remains free of anyone whose reproductive organs don’t dangle.



After all, women do not actually contribute anything to EVE Online. They don’t contribute anything to the game play. I can think of no argument to the contrary. Though some women have certainly proven to be good diplomats, fleet commanders, sky marshals, or leaders, in every case there was a man that could have done the job better.



EVE Online doesn’t need women players. They are icky. And gross. If players and CCP work together, they can drive the percentage of female EVE players down to zero.