FROM: DIRECTOR



TO: WRITER

O.K., look, I know I’ve been out of the country and out of touch for more than a year. And yes, I was pleased you were finally sending me a comedy feature, not a documentary idea or a script based on a board game, app or piece of cutlery. But frankly your “Trump: Rise of The Donald” idea is the most ill-conceived movie pitch I have ever received.

1) Your central character — “Trump/The Donald” — is just TOO BROAD. There may be a taste for a supersize American-cheese blowhard fantasy compendium of all the ills of Western civilization poured into one guy, but you need a MUCH lighter touch.

2) TONE. The tone is all over the place. You can go satirical (implying your rival’s father shot J.F.K.). You can go surrealist (the rants). You can go gross-out (the menstrual blood). You can go dark (the white nationalist delegate). BUT NOT ALL IN ONE MOVIE.

3) The physical attributes of “Trump/The Donald” are way overblown. “The coarse cotton candy thatch of synthetic mane” — perhaps doable. But to ladle on the “broiled ham visage, toasted golden under the sun lamp” is just FAR TOO MUCH. Even in the dystopia you paint, he needs to be a believable candidate, right?