ON THIS DAY IN 1953, JOSEPH STALIN DIED; his New York Times obit the following day reads like necrophilia: Stalin Rose From Czarist Oppression to Transform Russia Into Mighty Socialist State:

Although he remained an enigma to the outside world to the very end of his days, Stalin’s role as Russia’s leader in the war brought him the admiration and high praise of Allied leaders, including President Roosevelt and Winston Churchill. And, indeed, only a man of iron will and determination like Stalin’s could have held together his shattered country during that period of the war when German armies had overrun huge portions of Russian territory and swept to the gates of Moscow, Leningrad and the Caucasus. Like Churchill in England, Stalin never faltered, not even at moments when everything seemed lost. When most of the Government machinery and the diplomatic corps were moved to Kuibyshev in December, 1941, in expectation of the imminent capture of Moscow, Stalin remained in the Kremlin to direct the operations that finally hurled the Nazi hordes from the frontyard of the capital. His battle orders and exhortations to the Russian armies and people to persevere in the fight contributed immensely to final victory. Repeatedly, Churchill referred to him in Parliament as Russia’s “great warrior.”

Plus this classic bit of Orwellianism: “But those who survived the purges hailed Stalin as a supreme genius,” which sounds like something out of the Onion.

Speaking of which, I can’t find the text of the article online, but in 2003, the earlier, funnier, pre-Hillary-supporting Onion had a much better headline for their mock 1953 obit on “Russia’s Comback Kid:” “Soviets Mourn Loss of Stalin — ‘Who Will Crush Our Spirits and Destroy Our Will to Live Now?'”