Act One: Offices of Cornered Fun game studios. The owner, Max Buymystock, sits at a desk.

Enter: Ole Bloom, accountant.

(Ole sits down and begins reading.)

Ole: Interesting. Interesting.

Max: What?

Ole: Oh, it's nothing. Just that...well, I've never done the books for a game company before.

Max: Yes? And my poverty amuses you?

Ole: No, it's not that. It's...I always thought it might be possible to make money off a game that's a complete flop. And I see it is.

Max: (upset, eyes wide) Are you mad? Who sent you, John Romero?

Ole: No, no. Just look here -- you overspent your development costs because of the length of your beta test, which wasn't thorough enough to catch all the bugs anyway. And then you released on two continents simultaneously, which more than doubled your costs.

Max: That's the way it's done. You obviously know nothing about the game business, it's designed to crush a man.

Ole: Oh, I only know accounting, it's true. But...

Max: Yes? Yes?

Ole: Let's assume, for a moment, that you are a dishonest game producer.

Max: Assume away.

Ole: Well...a game producer could release a game on one continent before it's ready. Have them do the beta test, under full stress conditions. Sort of making the players on the first continent purchase beta software. Then when all the bugs are fixed, close down the game on the first continent and re-release it on the second as a fully functional game. Oh, but it would never work.

Max: Oh, but it's devious. It intrigues me. Why not?

Ole: Well, you'd have to have a reason to shut down the servers on the first continent. If the game was not awful enough, you wouldn't be able to justify closing it down.

Max: That, my friend, is not a problem! We can give the game awful content that will simply drive the players away!

Ole: But if the game is awful, it will still be a flop when you re-release it.

Max: No, no -- we'll release the game the first time with awful content. Then while we're fixing the bugs, we change the skins and text for the re-release. And fund the changes with the beta purchases! You -- you're a genius!

Ole: But it would be awful to treat players like guinea pigs. Players are not animals. They're human beings.

Max: They are? Have you ever IRC'ed with one?

Ole: Well...no.