“But that’s not how I use social media at all!” I thought then. As a writer, artist and creator, I find myself using social media (and especially my blog’s Twitter) to reach out to people – not in the celebrity-chasing, obnoxiously desperate follow-for-follow way. No, to me, it was always about relating to others, reaching out to others, communicating with people who had something interesting to say about something I said. My tweets were sincere, if not always SEO-friendly and with an optimal number of hashtags. For some reason, that comment bothered me, it rang wrong against what I knew to be true, but I couldn’t quite figure it out. So, I thought about it for a bit.

I thought about this comment more as I spoke with various clients who all had different marketing techniques and needed help with their blogs.

I thought about this comment when meeting with one potential client, whose company blog was written in a heartfelt, sincere and mature tone of voice.

I thought about this comment as I rewrote the advertisements for my blogging and social network management services, wondering if maybe, just maybe, doing this job well makes me some sort of con man. I wondered if the writing I do and the graphic design I do and the art I do were deserving of the attention they got; if maybe the only thing I was good at was getting like, five people to think I’ve got my life together and know what I’m doing.

I thought about this comment as I read my BlogLovin’ feed at night, scrolling through the thoughts and feelings of countless fashion, beauty, craft, lifestyle, and design bloggers.

I thought about this comment as I scrolled past countless click-bait headlines on Facebook.

I thought about this comment as I read every single blogging, writing, and marketing newsletter that popped into my inbox, separating those that seemed sincere and honest from those that seemed to be just trying to sell me something.

And then, finally, it hit me. Optimizing things, making yourself and your work easy to find, getting followers, getting subscribers, advertising… those things are just half the puzzle. There’s another component, a big, fat, obvious secret that no one ever talks about. And I’d finally found it.