I saw this on eBay and I just had to have it. Capitals Sport & Decor, a memorabilia shop at Dulles Town Center, sometimes hosts signings with Washington Capitals players. They put up some of their extra signed merchandise up on eBay, and that’s where I unearthed this gem. It’s a signed 16 x 20 photo of Capitals defenseman Jeff Schultz checking Sidney Crosby down to the ice. Schultz’s signature is at bottom. To the left is an inscription that reads, “Hows the Wood Sid!”

I repeat: “Hows the Wood Sid!”

This is problematic for me. First, there should be a comma after wood to set off the direct address. Second, how’s is a contraction of how is, and should have an apostrophe. The exclamation instead of a question mark I’m gonna let slide on stylistic grounds.

…and, oh yeah, what the actual hell does “Hows the Wood Sid!” mean?

Other offerings from Capitals Sport & Decor are similarly inscribed. For example, Brooks Laich tells Sid to “Sit Down” and “Can’t Catch Me.” It seems like there’s a cottage industry of Sharpie-drawn trash talk that we’re just now discovering. More please.