“It is not about me. It is about not having to be ashamed.”

-Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson

On Saturday evening, Michael Sam became the first openly gay man drafted into the National Football League when he was drafted by the St. Louis Rams in the seventh round. Around the nation, activists and common citizens hailed a new day for equality in sports in this country. Of course, there were those who spoke perverted words of hatred and bigotry – that is a sad reality in this country. Their words were awful, bigoted, and ignorant. However, their words did not speak to me as much as those who said they did not understand why Mr. Sam’s sexual orientation mattered or why there was a big deal being made about him being drafted at all.

These individuals, many of whom I believe spoke from a position of privileged ignorance, took no moral high road by straddling the fence on LGBT rights and advocacy. If they truly do not understand why his sexual orientation matters, they have not been paying attention to the state of affairs of this nation. These sentiments of him “keeping his personal life private,” “keeping his sexual preference behind closed doors,” and “not flaunting his homosexuality” come from a place of prejudice that is really what should be brought into the open. My personal least-favorite phrase that was used was, “I have no problem with gays, but that kiss made me uncomfortable.”

For heterosexuals, it is no matter of courage to show affection for the one you love while in public. It is probably rare that heterosexual men or women think twice before taking the hand of their lover on the street; it is not worthy of a second thought to kiss. However, for we who are same-gender-loving, we are forced to make a statement to the world each time we embrace the person we love. There is an ever-present fear of being harassed or, God forbid, physically assaulted. This is not a fear that is isolated to red states or rural areas.

Having lived in the District of Columbia for two years, I have been harassed twice while walking down the street with the person I was dating. One time was last summer and consisted of a woman following my boyfriend at the time and I for three blocks yelling anti-gay statements. The harassment ceased only when we entered a local business. More recently, I kissed my boyfriend goodbye as he was entering the subway system after dinner. A man that was selling flowers on the sidewalk began to proclaim in a rather loud voice how disgusting our actions were and how he couldn’t believe that what we were doing is legal.

My experiences with harassment are minor compared to those that have been bullied to the point of suicide or killed outright for who they are. Fifteen years ago, Mathew Shepard, a gay man, was beaten and left to die tied to a fence post outside of Laramie, Wyoming. More recently, Mark Carson, a gay man, was murdered in New York City for identifying as gay. Report after report show that gay men suffer bias-related crimes at a higher rate than other groups, and, when these attacks do happen, they are more brutal and violent than other assaults.

LGBT citizens face economic obstacles with higher poverty rates than the population taken as a whole. Additionally, black gay men are six times more likely to live in poverty than white gay men. Several factors contribute to these obstacles including workplace discrimination, inequality in marriage rights, and lack of family support for many LGBT persons. Workplace discrimination is rampant in the NFL. There are 1,696 players in the League. Now, there is one openly gay player. That means that .059% of employees (players) are LGBT. This indicates that there is much work to be done. However, with the average salary of an NFL player being $1.9 million, there is reason to rejoice when a black gay man is drafted as a player.

So long as people are harassed, assaulted, and murdered for living an authentic and true life, so long as individuals can be statistically more probable to live in poverty because of their skin color and their sexual orientation, the other Michael Sams of the world should be applauded when they succeed. By their making it, they have beaten enormous odds. The dominant culture is against black men. It is also against LGBT persons. To be both is to exist in a country that is squarely against you and your success. For anyone to say that a gay black man’s sexual orientation does not matter is to subtract from his identity.

These opponents of the Michael Sam kiss never say that a quarterback and his girlfriend or wife should keep their private lives private when they kiss after a Super Bowl victory. No one thinks twice when the girlfriends or wives of players are featured in game-time shots. These displays of affection are never categorized as flaunting a sexual preference nor is it ever described as making a nation uncomfortable. The fact that it is a scandal that ESPN showed the kiss between Sam and his boyfriend is a sign that it does matter. It matters because we continue to view two men demonstrating affection for one another differently than a man and woman doing the same.

Until we, as a nation, get over our collective fear of and discomfort with gay people, we will continue to discuss these manufactured scandals. How do you become more comfortable with LGBT people? Get to know someone who identifies as LGBT. Ask respectful questions. You probably won’t have to search far for a way to get acquainted with LGBT folks. We exist in every community. We are there living our lives in much the same way as you are living yours. In the meantime, can’t we be happy that a gay black man has overcome the odds and now has a shot at a lucrative career? After all, don’t we all love an underdog?