In shock news, José Mourinho wants to get rid of Anthony Martial. Apparently Manchester United’s manager has run out of patience with the French winger and is willing to pack him off to Arsenal or Tottenham Hotspur as soon as the transfer window opens. It doesn’t matter where Martial goes, as long as someone takes him. Perhaps he could ask Kevin De Bruyne or Mohamed Salah for some advice on what to do next. Or Romelu Lukaku.

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In more shock news, Paul Pogba wants out of Old Trafford. Word has it that Mino Raiola has promised the United midfielder, who has a terrific working relationship with Mourinho, a move to Barcelona or Real Madrid next summer. Luckily Pogba isn’t picky. Either one of the La Liga giants will do. This one’s in the bag. Just imagine the bidding war if Pogba maintains his current rate of one good game a month.

Raiola, meanwhile, has been a busy boy. Everyone’s favourite agent has been busying charming Napoli on behalf of another of his clients, Lorenzo Insigne, who’s a target for Chelsea and Liverpool. Napoli have agreed a verbal deal to insert a £178m release clause into Insigne’s contract. It would be rude of the Mill to suggest they just wanted to get Raiola out of the room.

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Staying in Italy, Milan and Internazionale are getting ready to squabble over Chelsea’s Cesc Fàbregas, who might find Serie A’s stately pace more to his liking. Fàbregas could be available on a free next summer and the 31-year-old could be joined at the San Siro by Aaron Ramsey, who has a year left on his deal with Arsenal. Milan are keeping a close eye on Ramsey’s situation. Inter, meanwhile, are going to offer new deals to Mauro Icardi and Milan Skriniar in a bid to keep them away from United.

Moving to France, Paris Saint-Germain have no intention of selling Adrien Rabiot to Liverpool. But let’s end on a positive note. Despite missing out on a move to Liverpool in the summer, Lyon’s Nabil Fekir has not given up hope of playing in the Premier League one day. Hooray!