Posted 24 April 2017 - 09:07 PM

Hi all! Lately I've both seen and interacted with quite a few fake Doms and I feel the need to post this. I wrote this a couple of months ago.Hi everybody, it’s Daddy's_treasure! Finding the right partner for a DDlg relationship can be a hard task. Here are some of my warning signs that you should know of when looking for and/or meeting a CG/Dom/Domme both online and in public. i also have a few tips added as well.- Nude pictures. One of the major red flags here is when you’re asked for any saucy pictures or nudity up front. Any genuine CG/Dom/Domme is interested in getting to know you and making a connection. If you meet somebody who asks you for pictures of this nature with no interest in wanting to get know you - LEAVE! This is not somebody you need to get involved with. Odds are they just want a no strings attached sex deal.- Anything off or unusual. Lets say for the purpose of this example, that the person you meet is in their 20’s and state that they have been a CG/Dom/Domme for 15 years. Really? Do the math and question it, it’s another red flag.- Call me Daddy. If they ask you to call them Daddy, Mommy, Master or Mistress, you don’t have to do it! Be respectful of course, but as a little or submissive you have no obligation to address them as such at this stage. i believe that this is an act that should be earned, honored and respected by both parties and the same applies to them addressing you with names like babygirl. Again, something i feel that is to be earned and both should feel comfortable with the names/titles chosen. Use them at a time that feels right for the both of you.- OBEY ME! Asking you to do tasks or to obey. They do not own you and you should not be made to feel like you have a commitment to them when an official commitment by both of you has yet to be made.- Punishment. Again, you are not owned, you have just met. There should not be any consequences like this for simply talking to a CG/Dom/Domme.- Beyond inexperienced. It is fair to say that you will come across a new CG/Dom/Domme in the lifestyle who perhaps has not had a little and or submissive of their own yet. They might be as new to their role as you are to yours. That being said, what they lack in experience will hopefully be made up for in the form of a sound understanding of the basic ins and outs of the dynamic and lifestyle in general. This doesn’t mean to say that they are a bad CG/Dom/Domme, just that they are inexperienced. However, if you come across anybody who doesn’t seem to even have respect for their role or yours and has no regards for boundaries or safety, then perhaps this is not the right partner for you.- Collared/owned. Being owned is a serious commitment made by both parties much like the commitment of marriage and should not be taken lightly. If a CG/Dom/Domme is claiming you as theirs and stating that they own you or have “collared” you without your permission, then this to me is a huge warning sign! This is something that should be discussed and consented upon by the both of you and have personal meaning. If they are attempting to claim you against your will, tell them goodbye and walk away.- Rude or abusive behavior. As in any relationship D/s or not, any rude or abusive behavior should not be tolerated. i found a quote once (author unknown) that said “though you may kneel before me, you will never be below me” and i think that applies here. Just because you are a submissive, that doesn’t give a them the right to mistreat you. No matter what, you should be treated with respect.- Personal details. Demanding your personal details i.e phone number, address etc. This is pretty much common sense, but if a CG/Dom/Domme is asking for your personal details right away, it’s a no brain-er.Tips for finding, meeting & chatting with a CG/Dom/Domme:- Do your research. Know the basics of the lifestyle and what you want out of a DDlg and D/s relationship and always try to keep yourself well informed.- Ask Questions. Don’t be afraid to ask a lot of questions. Just because they are a CG/Dom/Domme doesn’t mean they are the only ones who get to ask the questions. In the beginning ask as much as you can to know as much you can about them and what they want out of a relationship. It’s a good idea to write down a list of questions you have so you can refer to them when needed. Be prepared to answer a lot of questions, too.- Know your hard limits. If you’re looking for your D/s relationship to have a BDSM aspect, then it’s a good idea to know the types of kinks, fetishes and practices out there. It can be difficult to know what might be a hard limit if it’s something you’ve never tried, but do your research and seriously think about what might be on the no go list for you. It’s a good thing to know what you are wanting and not wanting to do, willing and not willing as you will then be able to discuss the possibilities in play with the CG/Dom/Domme if He or She asks.- Don’t rush. Don’t feel like you have to rush into anything. Take your time and don’t feel pressured to enter into anything you feel unsure about or you’re not ready for. Finding a partner in the lifestyle isn’t easy, but it can be very rewarding once you do. This doesn’t mean you have to get involved with the first CG/Dom/Domme you meet, just go at a pace that’s comfortable for you and know that you’ll find the right partner for you when the time is right.**Meeting in public.If you have met somebody online and are meeting them for the first time face in public, my tip here is to meet in a place that’s popular like a cafe and not somewhere secluded. Hey, you gotta be safe, right? If you’re still a little uncomfortable on the idea, ask a friend to come along for support and have them sit at a table close by so you know you’re not alone.

Edited by Daddy's☆treasure, 24 April 2017 - 09:10 PM.