Opinion: I Accept My Son’s Decision to Be Openly Gay. I Just Don’t Buy Him as a Top

When our son Terry told us he was coming home from college for the weekend to “tell us something” my wife and I had a pretty good idea of what it was. Terry had always been different. I could never get him into sports, he never showed interest in girls, etc. I grew up in a strict catholic household and was raised on very traditional values. In the back of my mind I always knew this day was coming and it terrified me because I honestly didn’t know how I would react. But sometimes you surprise yourself. As our son stood in front of us and delivered his years rehearsed speech about no longer being able to live a lie and needing to be who he was, all that I felt was pride. I was so proud of our gay son.

All of that changed when his lover, Keith, made a joke about Terry “wearing the pants” in the relationship during dinner.

Are you kidding me? There is no WAY my son is a fucking top.

I have to say I am disappointed. I thought that raising my children in the church would instill them with morality but evidently that didn’t work. By presenting himself to the rest of the world as the dominant half of a gay couple my son is commiting one of the greatest sins in the eyes of God. My son is lying.

Terry is the kid who flinches when you toss something to him underhand. His sister used to let him paint her nails because he was so good at it. You expect me to believe that my son, the same son who threw a god damned conniption fit when he couldn’t find a scarf to match the shirt he wanted to wear, has the MACHISMO to take a grown man, bend him over and fuck him in the ass? Son, I call bullshit.

I am trying my best to be open minded, but I look at my son and I look at Keith and I just think “this is wrong.” Keith clearly works out. Keith was on the wrestling team in high school. Keith could drop my son in a fight in five seconds flat. Keith should be the top. My son is a power bottom at best.

When I think about gay sex and I think about the guy fucking the other guy I think “man, that guys has gotta be TOUGH.” Like REAL tough. Trying to picture that tough guy as my son? I’m sorry, that just doesn’t work for me.

It just kills me to see that after all this time Terry is still living a lie. It must come from his mother’s side of the family. All of the gay men on my side conformed to their given stereotypes, dammit.