It can be hard to meet men when you’re shy, or a mild-mannered museum curator longing for human interaction. Confident, handsome men usually pay you no mind…until now. A charming, attractive gentleman insists he buy you dinner. What do you do? Here’s how to tell if he’s genuinely flirting, or just trying to get close enough to lift your ID badge and rob the gallery of its Degas.

Does he find playful reasons to touch you, or does he just want to root around in the handbag where you keep your ID badge?

Is the handsome, well-dressed stranger finding little reasons to brush his fingers against your shoulder? Did he let his hand linger when he passed you a martini? If so, he’s probably interested in you for you. If instead of playful taps on the forearm he’s finding reasons to dig inside your handbag where you keep the ID badge that unlocks the museum’s employee entrance, he might be planning a heist. Sorry!

Is he asking questions about your family, hometown, and hopes for the future, or about the museum’s security system?

You love talking about your work—after all, it’s sort of your entire life (you say as you sheepishly push your glasses back up your nose). But if his questions are less “how many siblings do you have?” and more “how many security cameras are installed in the Van Gogh room?” he might be on the verge of committing a crime so bold you’d actually admire him, if it weren’t for the fact that he’d be denying the public access to such priceless treasures.

Does he ask you for a private, after hours tour of the museum, claiming it will be romantic?

A private tour of the museum is the kind of thing that could get you fired, but no one you’ve dated has ever been this interested in what you do. Most men’s eyes glaze over when you get into the daring intricacies of a Seurat, or the vibrancy of a Monet—but his light up. He may be a criminal, but he’s also the only person in the world who loves art as much as you do. Maybe you should just swipe him in and see where this goes?

Remember—when you fall in love with a con man, you’ll never know for sure if his greatest con is you. Think things over to see if you’ve found someone who finally “gets” you, or someone who’s trying to get something else entirely.