I hate to be one of those people, but summers in the city are the worst. New York City right now is basically a scientific experiment to see how much heat, humidity, garbage, and humans you can trap in a few square miles.

But it doesn't have to be this way. If only humans could let go of their innate desire to "look good" and "not be a total nerd with the way you dress all the time, Paul," I could have cool air blowing through my sparse armpit hair this very second.

Why do we do this to each other? Judge each other for our style choices, I mean. Fanny packs "aren't cool." Then they're "cool." Who cares! Can you find your wallet, passport, and chapstick when you need them? Good, now let's get on with our lives and talk about what matters: building a large umbrella to shade Manhattan from the Sun during the months of July and August.

Thanko gets me. The Japanese manufacturer has for years struggled against our inherent bias against our own comfort to deliver gadgets to our bodies that they truly need. This armpit cooler clips conveniently in your short sleeve shirt's arm holes and blasts refreshment until the AA batteries give out.

That's progress. That's innovation. That's humanitarian.

Which side are you on?