This weekend, I went to Kith in Brooklyn for some shoes, followed by the nearby Uniqlo for some pants, then to the Guitar Center to play the electronic drumsets by myself. I've got nothing to hide here. It's not like I went to buy a cologne soaked clubbing shirt at Express.

Facebook already knew that, though.

The social-media big brother is rolling out a new feature that allows advertisers to see which brick-and-mortar stores you've physically walked into. This is calculated using information from anyone who has the location services feature turned on (aka all of us!). Facebook does insist that this data is aggregated and anonymized. The, goal on the business end, is for advertisers to see in real time which Facebook ads are turning into actual online and offline sales.

Last year, Facebook added advertisements that target certain consumers based on location. Now, these advertisers will know if you see their advertisement, drop everything that you're doing, and walk into the nearest Hot Topic to buy a Nirvana T-shirt that literally everyone else owns—just like the mindless walking credit card that you are.

"This is a window into a black box that [retailers have] never had before," Sam England, Facebook's product manager, told Adweek. "It's not just something new for Facebook but something across the board."

Welcome to our glorious ad-based human utopia!

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How does this benefit us, the Facebook users, you ask? I can't actually figure that out. But any advertising person would probably tell you something like, It's creating less distance between you and the brands you love, thereby making it easier for you to make decisions as a consumer!

[Vomits about 64 ounces of Coca-Cola™]

Here's how the marketing guy at Facebook explains it:

"This is one of the biggest partner challenges that exist in a digital and mobile world," Facebook's director of monetization product marketing (a real title) Maz Sharafi told Adweek. "Consumers are increasingly spending their time in mobile and online, but transactions are happening everywhere."

Gross!

But, since we pathetic humans have no willpower of our own, it's already working. As Adweek reports:

French retailer E.Leclerc found it was able to reach 1.5 million people within 10 kilometers of its stores, with about 12 percent of clicks leading to visits within a week. Others have also begun using store visit measurement tools, including M&S, Petco, Burger King UK and Cadillac.

It's hard to imagine brands were ever able to make us buy things without tracking our every movement at all times! What would Don Draper do if he lived in this bright, beautiful future of ours?

This content is imported from YouTube. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

This post has been updated to clarify that Facebook insists it keeps this information anonymous.

Matt Miller Culture Editor Matt is the Culture Editor at Esquire where he covers music, movies, books, and TV—with an emphasis on all things Star Wars, Marvel, and Game of Thrones.

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