The blogosphere is inundated with the musings and lamentations of the service industry: servers bitching about customers, cooks bitching about servers, and customers bitching about it all. There are stories we've all heard before: the guy on table 11 stretching his glass of syrah over nine courses and then leaving $10 on $200; the surly cook, flinging pans and obscenities, furious as the menu is cut-and-pasted into oblivion. None of it is new, and there is probably nothing that can be done to stop the cycle of diner-server-cook angst, but fear not! Here are a few tips to ensure that you avoid an auto-grat or an application of "special sauce."