Stassi Schroeder addressed her Vanderpump Rules return on the October 15 episode of her podcast, Straight Up With Stassi. While chatting with her co-host and guest star on the series, Kristina Kelly, Stassi Schroeder admitted to being embarrassed by her decision to return after announcing her exit from Bravo during a podcast episode in May.

“I’m one of the most prideful people I know. Swallowing that pride when was so hard” – @stassischroeder on #PumpRules http://t.co/NU6sBHlSOa — Play.It (@playit) October 15, 2015

“This is really hard not to be able to discuss for months, because I feel like all are you are part of my life… and I didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t say anything, but that just comes with the job,” Stassi Schroeder told listeners of the reason behind her secretive behavior. “If I am signed on to film something, I don’t have a right to talk about it, and that’s just how it is, and I hated that.”

According to Stassi Schroeder, viewers will better understand her decision to return once the series begins to air. In addition to the paycheck, which was likely a factor for Stassi Schroeder, the reality star and fashion blogger claimed there were “a couple of good reasons” why she returned for Vanderpump Rules Season 4.

“I made a huge public display of saying I’m done with it and all I have to say is I make mistakes… It’s embarrassing that I gave this whole speech about how I will never come back and then I realized that there were reasons that I wanted to because I made a mistake and I think I’m one of the most prideful people that I know and swallowing that pride when I did come back was so hard.”

Stassi Schroeder was part of the original cast when the Bravo reality series made its debut in January 2013. At that time, Stassi Schroeder was dating her co-star, Jax Taylor, but the two ultimately split after Taylor admitted to sleeping with her close friend, Kristen Doute. After splitting from Taylor, Stassi Schroeder moved to New York City after Season 2 and began dating her current boyfriend, Patrick Meagher. While fans believed Stassi Schroeder had quit at that time, she eventually returned to Los Angeles with Meagher in tow, and the pair began living together as she filmed Season 3 solo.

Vanderpump Rule’s Stassi Schroeder says her relationship with Lisa Vanderpump will NEVER be the same (via @etnow) http://t.co/VkjbQRG5wX — TMZ (@TMZ) October 12, 2015

While Stassi Schroeder had been featured in a full-time role during Season 1 and 2 of Vanderpump Rules, she was demoted, or selected to film less, ahead of Season 3, which is why fans didn’t see her as much.

Stassi Schroeder didn’t reveal whether she’d be featured in a full-time or part-time role on season four.

During Season 4, fans will be reunited with a number of cast members from the past seasons of the show, including Scheana Marie, Jax Taylor, Kristen Doute, Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, Katie Maloney, James Kennedy, and Mike Shay. They will also get to meet a new cast member, Lala Kent, when the series premieres in November.

As seen in the trailer, Kent causes quite a stir when she reportedly hooks up with Kennedy, who had been dating Doute at the start of Season 4. During one particular scene, Lisa Vanderpump was seen talking to a friend, revealing Kennedy didn’t waste much time getting with Kent after he split from Doute, whom he had begun dating after Season 2.

For more Stassi Schroeder, tune into Vanderpump Rules Season 4, when it premieres on Bravo on Monday, November 2, at 9 p.m.

[Photo via Instagram]