Posted: July 14, 2012





Ever since the first wire was plugged into the second controller port, allies have been an essential part of gaming. Maybe it’s a second gun on the field or even an annoying girl, crying and whining as you drag her around by the hand. Maybe it’s someone who serves the story. Maybe it’s just someone who’s damn likable. Regardless, single-player gaming can be lonely. Why else do MMO’s exist? Having a devoted crew of computer controlled allies along to save the world can be a reward unto itself. And anyone who disagrees clearly didn’t grow up an only child.

6. Delta Squad (Sev, Fixer, and Scorch) – Star Wars: Republic Commando





Delta Squad has an unfair advantage here. First off, they’re clones. Literally clones. Ever wonder what it would be like to have another you to pal around with? How about three? Delta Squad was raised from birth to cooperate seamlessly in a unit and even die together like some four person intergalactic version of Spartans. Delta Squad has an unfair advantage here. First off, they’re clones. Literally clones. Ever wonder what it would be like to have another you to pal around with? How about three? Delta Squad was raised from birth to cooperate seamlessly in a unit and even die together like some four person intergalactic version of Spartans.





Picture it. You’re a clone. Since you were in the womb (or test tube rather), you’ve been within eye contact of your brothers –which just so happens to be the perfect bonding distance. From childhood, you were specially trained to function as an integral cog in a four man team. One that without you, their sniper, demolitionist, commander, or heavy weapons specialist, would probably be crushed under any number of monstrous aliens’ boots. To top it off, the Republic seems hellbent on killing you. They see Delta Squad as some disposable multitool that fixes whatever problem the Trade Federation sends their way. And who cares? They can always grow another identical squad anyway; all the more motivation for you to keep your teammates alive, right?





You know when your grandfather used to tell you all about his war buddies and how you’ll never find closer friends than that? Yeah, your grandfather didn’t have shit on Delta Squad. Did he storm Geonosis and assassinate the Geonosian leader? Did he ever board a derelict star cruiser full of Trandoshans? Did he risk his life to try and liberate the Wookie homeworld? No, he didn’t. So he can keep his wrinkled trap shut.





But Ryan, why is Delta Squad at number six? Because even though their devotion to each other is unquestionable, it apparently isn’t as unquestionable as their devotion to The Republic. Towards the end of the game, Boss (the leader of Delta Squad) is given an order to pull out of an increasingly hostile mission while Sev (the unit’s bloodthirsty sniper) is still on the ground. Without a second thought, they defiantly land and retrieve their fallen brother. Oh, sorry, I’m writing a happy ending. No, they just leave him there and declare him MIA. Better get to work growing another sniper!





5. Alyx Vance - Half Life 2





Valve, the Pixar of videogames, knows characterization. Some of their games owe their entire success to it. Portal is essentially a three-hour tutorial with great characters. So when they set out to make an impossible-to-hate sidekick that gets the job done. Gabe Newell knew that Half Life 2 needed a sidekick for Gordon Freeman; someone who understood the strange post-apocalyptic world around them and could give the depressing scenery some hope and relateability. Alyx Vance was that sidekick. Everything done right is what wasn’t put into the game. She never nags Gordon to “come on!” when the player lags behind. She knows her way around, never getting lost or even stuck on obstacles. And, above all, she genuinely helps the player in more ways than just opening doors. Gordon never has to have “that” scene. You know the one: the helpless princess is attacked and you feel obligated to rescue her. Alyx comes to your rescue more often than not. Whether it’s beating up a couple Combine early in the game, or just being able to reach objects and places the player can’t, Alyx endears herself to anyone and everyone, becoming invaluable over the course of the game. Valve, the Pixar of videogames, knows characterization. Some of their games owe their entire success to it. Portal is essentially a three-hour tutorial with great characters. So when they set out to make an impossible-to-hate sidekick that gets the job done. Gabe Newell knew that Half Life 2 needed a sidekick for Gordon Freeman; someone who understood the strange post-apocalyptic world around them and could give the depressing scenery some hope and relateability. Alyx Vance was that sidekick. Everything done right is what wasn’t put into the game. She never nags Gordon to “come on!” when the player lags behind. She knows her way around, never getting lost or even stuck on obstacles. And, above all, she genuinely helps the player in more ways than just opening doors. Gordon never has to have “that” scene. You know the one: the helpless princess is attacked and you feel obligated to rescue her. Alyx comes to your rescue more often than not. Whether it’s beating up a couple Combine early in the game, or just being able to reach objects and places the player can’t, Alyx endears herself to anyone and everyone, becoming invaluable over the course of the game.

As far as gameplay is concerned, she’s the perfect teammate. But Mrs. Vance undergoes little character development throughout the game, making her incredibly enjoyable to be with but monotonously, flawlessly lovable, which from a story perspective, makes her boring.





4. Tippi – Super Paper Mario



Super Paper Mario features one of my favorite stories. The Paper Mario games have long been credited with great writing and localization but, for me, this one wins the blue ribbon. The most surprising character is a Pixl (basically a small, sentient power-up) named Tippi. After Mario is knocked out of the Mushroom Kingdom by the monocled, top hat-wearing Count Bleck, he awakens between dimensions to a colorful butterfly fluttering nearby. features one of my favorite stories. The Paper Mario games have long been credited with great writing and localization but, for me, this one wins the blue ribbon. The most surprising character is a Pixl (basically a small, sentient power-up) named Tippi. After Mario is knocked out of the Mushroom Kingdom by the monocled, top hat-wearing Count Bleck, he awakens between dimensions to a colorful butterfly fluttering nearby.





The butterfly turns out to be Tippi, a cute and spunky gal who can’t seem to recall her past. She feels compelled to follow Mario on his journey and aid him. Why? To keep the very fabric of space and time from falling apart.





Their friendship, much like Gordon and Alyx, is a one way affair, with Tippi talking and generally being the voice of reason while you do all the heavy lifting. I know what you’re thinking: it’s incredibly cliché to have a silent male character being controlled by the player while being guided by a weak talkative female who can’t fend for herself. And you’re right. It isn’t original, but it is extremely well done. Tippi’s not as 2D as she appears. The whole game sees her having an identity crisis. Right off the bat, she’s almost robotic and unfeeling, confused and under-confident. She is plagued with flashbacks of Blumiere and Timpani, two lovers whose forbidden love caused tensions between their families resulting in Timpani’s banishment from her realm and Blumiere to loathe the world he calls home. As more flashbacks occur, her personality only strengthens until she eventually realizes she is Timpani and Count Bleck is Blumiere, causing him to no longer wish the world undone. But it may already be too late.





Throughout her development to fully fledged character, she relies on Mario to be her foundation. He gives her the strength to go on, reversing the traditional role of the sidekick. It’s amazing to see just how much personality Intelligent Systems can push into a 2D sprite, especially since there isn’t a word uttered the entire game. Yes, at times, Paper Mario games can be like reading a novel. But damn, Super Paper Mario’s a good one.





3. Dogmeat – Fallout Series





What is it about a dying dog that can make grown men weep in a movie theater? Show me a horde of zombies stampeding suburban family neighborhood and I’ll get the popcorn. Show me Will Smith having to put down his wounded dog and we’re no longer friends. What is it about a dying dog that can make grown men weep in a movie theater? Show me a horde of zombies stampeding suburban family neighborhood and I’ll get the popcorn. Show me Will Smith having to put down his wounded dog and we’re no longer friends.





Dogmeat, the iconic Fallout canine, can grant the player the most enjoyable or tragic moments in all of videogaming. You first meet the poor little guy early in the game as you’re both wandering through the nuclear wasteland. He quickly becomes a blessing, helping you fight the wasteland’s mutant inhabitants and retrieving items otherwise unseen by the player. Inevitably, if you don’t part ways or tell him to stay, Dogmeat, eager to protect his master, will charge out into battle, bravely facing an enemy far stronger than he is ; often before you can react. A sharp yelp is all you hear before a small tear trickles down your cheek, followed by a quick trip to the load selection screen – because death in Fallout is permanent.





Remember when Copper was injured protecting Tod from a bear? Yeah have that happen a dozen times and have it end in the faithful hound dog’s death. Then tell me that Disney’s The Fox and the Hound is sad.





2. The Baby Metroid – Metroid II and Super Metroid





Super Metroid may as well have been titled Super Old Yeller… if Travis was an outerspace bounty hunter, Old Yeller was a floating baby parasite and the rabid wolf was a sentient organic super computer intent on controlling the galaxy. Classic!





So back in the pixilated green days of Metroid II, Samus Aran finds herself on a vengeance fueled mission to wipe the galaxy clean of all metroids, parasitic metamorphosing aliens reminiscent of the Xenomorphs from Aliens. After doing some serious spring cleaning on the planet SR388, Samus, being the cosmological Clorox spray she is, has eliminated 99.9% of the planet’s metroids. All except a hatchling that believes she is its mother. Sparing the little gooball, she leaves SR388 and drops the little guy off at a research station believing him to be in safe hands.





But, of course, she’s dead wrong and the space pirates that she faced in the first game have gone full Joker on her ass, somehow defying death and resuming their dastardly deeds. Samus fights through the space pirates in her traditional “lost my power-ups, now I have to get them back” way; eventually working her way back to the dreaded Mother Brain, who’s had a bit of a growth spurt from her early days and now resembles a horrifying dinosaur with a brain for a head. Clearly outmatched, Samus lies on the ground waiting to receive the final blow when, all of a sudden, the now giant baby metroid bursts in, latches onto Mother Brain’s head, and stuns her. What little energy the now fully grown baby has left it gives to Samus. Back on her feet, Mother Brain blasts the metroid out of the sky.





Playing this scene as a kid blew my mind. Not only did the Metroid series have great continuity, but it brought my preteen blood to a boil. With the baby blown into pieces, Samus, healed by the baby, gets up and, with the help of enraged players everywhere, kicks some serious brain ass.





It was the first time I can remember a game eliciting an emotional reaction. All for a character that is on screen for a total of maybe two minutes and made of a mere couple-hundred pixels. Godspeed little metroid!

1. Garrus Vakarian – Mass Effect Series





After playing through three games with this guy, it’s clear to me that Mass Effect is the greatest buddy cop drama ever. Garrus Vakarian -- the ex-citadel security officer, ex-mercenary hunter turned reaper killer -- becomes Shepard’s best pal in the galaxy. These bros have taken down Saren, they’ve blown up Sovereign, wiped out the collectors (sorry, Collectors… Garrus and Shepard didn’t inspire a hobbyist genocide), and eliminated countless Reapers, all while holding onto a light-hearted, competitive, even playful Legolas-and-Gimli style relationship. You don’t get thousands of DeviantArt illustrations by being unlikable. After playing through three games with this guy, it’s clear to me that Mass Effect is the greatest buddy cop drama ever. Garrus Vakarian -- the ex-citadel security officer, ex-mercenary hunter turned reaper killer -- becomes Shepard’s best pal in the galaxy. These bros have taken down Saren, they’ve blown up Sovereign, wiped out the collectors (sorry, Collectors… Garrus and Shepard didn’t inspire a hobbyist genocide), and eliminated countless Reapers, all while holding onto a light-hearted, competitive, even playful Legolas-and-Gimli style relationship. You don’t get thousands of DeviantArt illustrations by being unlikable.





Initially, Garrus is a passionate, by-the-book cop. He’s after the same guy Shepard is so they join forces. After defeating Sovereign, Shepard gets his greaves handed to him by the Collectors and they get separated. During the two years Shepard is snoozin’ and resting in a climate controlled hospital, Garrus is on Omega, the ghetto of the galaxy, cleaning the place of its gangs and mercs. That’s right, he went full ‘80s movie and went beyond the law to enforce the law. After Shep gets off his ass and decides to head to Omega, he’s just in time to see Garrus get half his freaking face blown off by a rocket. Next we see him bandaged up and back on the battlefield. What a BAMF!



