“Whatever I say I’m going to do, I’m going to do it.”

That’s been Lauren Beck‘s motto for as long as she can remember. The 28-year-old nanny has lived out that decisiveness, between moving from Michigan to California at just 17 and starting to pursue a career in journalism. Now she faces a game full of decisions in Survivor, something the longtime fan is not taking lightly. Despite her bubbly and cheery exterior, she’s adamant to do anything to advance her position and make her mark on the season.

Read on for my chat with Lauren, and make sure to check in with Parade.com every day for interviews with this season’s contestants and other on-set tidbits. Survivor: Island of the Idols premieres on September 25 with a special 90-minute premiere on CBS.

Related: Meet the Full Cast of Survivor Season 39

Tell me about yourself.

I’m 28 years old, about to have my mid-life crisis. What better way to do it than on Survivor? I’ve been married for three years. My husband and I have been together since I’ve been 19. And I’m a nanny of an eight-year kid. I also just got my Bachelor’s in Journalism.

What prompted that field of study?

My current boss’s wife was a journalist for E! Canada, so we’ve always talked about it. She’s been instrumental in building me up and making me feel like this is something I can do. I can’t shut up; I love to talk. So it’s not a problem. I also love to write. I crave that human connection. I love true crime and investigative journalism, and I don’t think there are many millennials who love murder stories. (Laughs.) So I want to see where that can take me!

You moved from Michigan to L.A. at a young age. What prompted the move?

I was born in California, and my real dad lived in L.A. Every summer, I’d come back and visit. Growing up in the suburbs of Michigan wasn’t the best experience for a girl like me. I got to come to California, where people were so accepting, loving, and open. They embraced me for who I am, blackness included. When I graduated high school at 17, I was like, “Peace, I’m out.”

What was that moving experience like?

About a year after I moved there, I had two friends who wanted to be famous dancers. So they decided to move to L.A. as everybody does. All of our parents got together and were like, “Let’s get the kids a place in Northridge.” We got our own little apartment and jumped in headfirst. I’ll be honest, the first seven years of living there I was like, “What am I doing here?” When I met my husband, it all made sense. He actually was living in a dorm in Northridge, going to film school.

How long have you been nannying for?

I have six sisters, so I was always a built-in babysitter. Half-sisters, step-sisters, I’m from a blended family so I’ve always done this. Even when I was little, there was a lady up the street who had her own daycare. I would go over and help her out. My mom is a doula, so we all care for children. (Laughs.) I used to waitress at Red Lobster, I worked for some retail stores. Then I started professionally nannying. The kids for one of the families I worked for were in my wedding.

The thing I love so much about nannying is that you don’t have this hard “9-5, you have to sit in a cubicle and you can’t use your phone or chew gum.” I’m not in grade school anymore, can you not? I love nannying. I’m a big freaking kid at heart. If we’re going to Skyzone Trampoline Park, I’m jumping too! I think that’s what a lot of parents can appreciate about me. If I’m not having fun, the kids aren’t having fun. You see a lot of nannies who are jaded and don’t want to do it anymore. So do something else!

Related: Jeff Probst Picks His Top 10 Survivor Winners of All Time

What made you decide to come out and join Survivor‘s blended family?

I’ve been watching since I was 11 years old. I have always wanted to play this game. Any time I would tell people, they’d be like, “Really? You want to play this game?” I love make-up and being indoors. Even in telling me family, they’re like, “Lauren, are you going to be alright out there?” (Laughs.) And honestly, I don’t know the answer to that. I have so much respect for this game and the players before me. To think that I’m walking, sitting, and talking to the same people that they talk to is so exciting.

To be a part of this blended family is such an honor. I have so much gratitude for this situation. Even coming here, you can see people getting annoyed at the heat or getting on the plane. But I could wait all day; I don’t care. I’m just happy to be here. Being a part of this family is just so loving. You see it and you can’t help but be a part of something. Like, you’re great! I don’t even know you, but I feel like I want to go get drinks with you. If I win this million, it’s on me.

(Laughs.) I’m holding you to that! Give me a Survivor winner and non-winner you want to play like.

I would aspire to be like Cirie. She’s that quiet competitor that can get things moving and make things happen without you even realizing it. She’s a gangster in an Oprah suit. As a black woman, you don’t see a lot of that. She’s definitely someone who I look up to, and I hope I can play a fraction of her game.

As far as winners, I think it would be dumb for me to say anybody but Sandra. She’s won this game twice. I’m not as cutthroat as Sandra, but you know what? I need to be. I can’t allow my heart to lead me all the time. I learned that from watching her. You have to stir the pot, get in there and slit that person’s throat. At the end, they’re going to look for that resume. And if you just sat on the sidelines, got carried through the game, and didn’t find idols, you’re not going to get that money. I wouldn’t give it to you! I want to see myself be pushed to break down who people think I am.

What do you think people are going to perceive you as?

Super friendly, bubbly, and goofy. Smiley and happy. Which I have to be cautious of. Because those are the players who people are like, “Wait, everybody likes them. So they’re going to get that money.” I do believe that’s going to be the reason I get this million dollars. I’m going to strive to make a personal connection with every single person. I really want to get to you know and see what we have in common and what I can learn from you. It’s all about this journey of trying to decipher how people feel about you. But I’m not going to let that overshadow how I play my game.

What do you desire in an alliance partner?

I desire the other black girl here. I want to see us win. As I said, I didn’t have that growing up. To be able to build that with another black woman would be so strong. I also want to gravitate towards the person who nobody thinks would work with me. There’s this older gentleman who has a buzzcut. I don’t think anybody else would think we’d be together.

What line will you not cross morally in the game?

There is no line; it’s an open space. I have 39 days to do this, 39 days to change my life. What am I going to do every day to make sure that I get this money? I can’t put restrictions on myself. If I do, then I feel like I’ve already lost. I don’t even know what the game is yet. People are always like, “Are you worried about how you’re going to be perceived?” This is a game! I’m playing to win. So I’m not going to sit here and think, “What are they thinking about me?” I’m going to do whatever steps are necessary to win.

So how does that mentality translate to what you’ll do when you hit the beach?

In the first three days, I have to have an idol. Before we jump off the boat, I’m looking for the secret advantages. If I don’t find them, somebody else did. So I need to figure out who! In being a fan of this game, we need to remember every season is different and everything can be changed at the drop of a hat. Obviously, I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or take low blows and destroy your character. But if that means I have to vote out my greatest ally, then I’m going to do it. I sit at home and yell at other players, “Send. Them. Home! You will get the million dollars. What are you doing?!” And I think it’s because people get comfortable. They think, “I can get to the end.” Are you trying to get to the end or are you trying to win?

Related: Everything You Need to Know About Survivor Season 39

When your tribe visits Tribal Council, would you rather vote on strength or loyalty?

It’s hard to say. I feel like the first three challenges, we need the strength. I’m not a super physical girl; I’m not going to be a Joe or Malcolm. So I would say, “Let’s keep these physical people around.” But they’re not going to the merge, because I want to win and I can’t beat them. That’s a problem in a lot of seasons. I don’t want to be in a position where I’m allowing something to happen that I know in my gut shouldn’t be happening.

When you’re at your lowest low, what’s one memory you’ll pull from to boost your spirits?

My happiest place is sitting on the couch with my husband and my dog watching TV. That’s our jam. Of course, I don’t know what it’s going to be until I get out there, and I know it’s going to be hard. But I didn’t come this far to be defeated by the elements. I’ve seen 500 people before me do this. It’s that constant reassurance that I can do this and in 39 days, I’ll be back on that couch watching season 40 and saying, “Yeah, I did that.”

Talk to me a bit more about your relationship with your husband.

My husband and I are super opposite. I’m a crazy extroverted black girl; he’s a quiet Jewish introvert. Somehow our two worlds collided. I think he’s super impressed by me, which feels so good. He knows I’m the type of person who said, “I’m 17 and in Michigan. I don’t want to be here anymore.” Whatever I say I’m going to do, I’m going to do it. There may be doubt, but the doubt pushes me more. I’m so scared, but that makes me want to do it even more. So I can come out on the other side and say, “Here’s the thing I was afraid to do, and I did it. Which means anyone can do it!” My entire life has been hurdles. This is just another hurdle.

Will that assertive decision-making play into your strategy?

Absolutely. The game is not over until it’s over. I’m not going to sit there and hunker down and cry about being on the bottom. There are going to be times where I’ll be on the bottom; that’s just a fact. There’s so much power in knowing you can be on the bottom and be on the top in one vote. That’s powerful A.F. I want to do that, and I’m going to do that. I don’t want my story to be getting carried through the game. I wouldn’t want all my hard work to go to waste. I’ve been such a fan of this game and I feel it would be such an injustice to my soul and the show. I’m here to play.

Which is more important to your game: Strategy or social?

I think I’m going to be right in the middle. At first, I thought I was going to be 100% social. But you have to have some strategy. You can’t come in and say, “I’m just going to talk to everybody, and we’re going to sing a song and hold hands in a circle.”

I hear you do quite the Britney Spears impression.

Oh my God! (Laughs.) I didn’t know you knew that! Wow, that’s hilarious. If it comes up on the beach, I’ll do it. I can’t help myself.

I will also call out that you said in your bio you’re most like Troyzan “because we’re both hot.”

(Laughs.) Oh my God. Self-confidence, right?! He’s a gorgeous man, are you kidding? I’ve come into my own and I’m feeling pretty good about myself. Troyzan possessed this confidence about himself. “I’m around models all day; I can do this.” I’m around people of a certain caliber and I feel I can navigate that while still holding my place as a person.

What are the chances you go into nanny mode at camp?

Hell to the no! I love Reem, and I understand why she did that. I felt so bad; my heart goes out to her. She was trying to teach Keith to swim, and you can just see the mom in her. If you’re the mom, own that [expletive]. That’s why the one guy I’m going to gravitate towards is probably a dad. Be my dad; help me out! I think it’s natural for me to be a giver and a natural caretaker, to make other people feel comfortable. I’m always worried about the next person before myself, which can be a flaw. I lead with love and positivity. I came from a place where I wasn’t that and constantly negative. I decided that’s not the life I wanted to live. I think the more you turn your thoughts into positivity, the more gratitude you give to situations, it’s exactly what you get back.

If you could bring one celebrity or fictional character out as your loved one, who would you pick?

I’m going to with Gerard Butler. He’s a looker. (Laughs.) He’s an athlete, and he’s freaking awesome.

PREVIOUS: Kellee Kim

NEXT: Molly Byman