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You start out watching normal people having normal sex, and it's pretty damn cool. But the more you watch, the more your brain gets used to it. So you start watching more specific videos. Student/teacher sex, bondage, MILFs fucking the vacuum cleaner. When that gets old, you up the ante again and the cycle continues until one day you find that you're unable to get a boner unless you're watching East Brazilian mink farmers having sex with pregnant servants dressed in latex astronaut costumes.

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"Yes! I knew if I looked long enough ..."

Now that's not saying that one porn video is going to take away your dragon slayer. Pretty much every sex expert in the world says that watching a porno together is a good way to add some excitement back into a stagnating sex life. It's the habitual use that's bad. That's when regular everyday sex starts to feel bland, and you find yourself asking your partner if she could put on this plastic elephant trunk while you go to your stereo and put "The Humpty Dance" on a loop. And the more you expect her to conform to your every desire, the less you're involving her in the act. You've inadvertently turned her into a warm sack of meat that's only there to facilitate your orgasm.

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Her needs and desires get put on the back burner because she's too busy trying to be the impossible fantasy taking place inside your head. No, unlike the porn videos show, not many women were built to handle the 14-inch dildo that's as big around as your forearm. Nor do most of them have a desire to have a cock jammed into the back of their throat until they convulse and try not to puke on your pelvis. That's why the women in those videos get paid to do what they're doing. And it's why many of their moans in those kinds of extreme scenes aren't ones of pleasure.

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"No, your 10-inch dick feels great in my ass. Can we maybe speed this along, please?"

The woman you're with wants to please you, because that's how people behave in a relationship. But she doesn't want to do it by becoming something she's not. If she's into that sort of thing, fine. But even then, when she does act out those fantasies, she has to be doing it with you and not for you. Otherwise, they're going to start killing her mood more frequently until she finally has enough and the fantasies are all you have left. But don't take my word for it. The comments section is just a few inches below these words. Ask. Women are just as human as you, and they have no reason to lie. You'll learn more from them than you ever could from me.

John has a Twitter and a Facebook fan page where he regularly puts on live nude webcam shows for his premium members.

For more Cheese, check out 5 Ways You Know It's Time to Get Married and 5 Bits of Advice That Don't Make Sense Until It's Too Late.