BEAMSVILLE, ON – Niagara Regional Police were called on a man accused of advocating for the coercion of women into having children, and preventing access to safe and legal health services.

When police arrived, a tall, politician-like male between the ages of 18-25 was attempting to impose his will and beliefs on half of the population.

“These are serious crimes he’s accused of,” said criminal lawyer Harry Kirkchaff. “If it’s illegal for a man to force a woman to do something she does not want to do with her body, then I assume it’s illegal for the man to do the very same thing but on a collective scale via legislation.”

The man, who is known to police since he calls them every hour to report any counter-arguments, was apprehended but not charged.

“Boys will be boys,” said an NRP officer holding the elected-official’s hand while waiting for his mother to pick him up from his constituency office.