ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Dropping five dollar bombs on Where’s The Gold like a Lancaster over Dresden, a local punter’s decision to gamble a small win failed to pay off last night at the Lake Betoota Surf Life Saving Club.

It was meet with a small chorus of subdued ‘Ooooo’s from those standing behind Nathan Decanter, who was said to have told friends that he swore it was going to be black.

Speaking exclusively to The Advocate moments after he urinated in Mrs Goldman’s lakeside front garden around midnight last night, the visably intoxicated 28-year-old project manager explained why he chose to gamble and the reaction from his friends.

“Red cards, man. You only get them when you don’t need them,” he said.

“Everybody. Even that old crook who invented pokies, that Ainsworth, Ainsley guys. Anyway, um. What was a I saying? Oh yeah. Spades always come in threes. Everybody knows that,”

“I took the gamble and it didn’t pay off. My friends, who refuse to put themselves into the pokie machine breach and be shot out by the rifle of fate, could only offer me an ‘oooooo’ when it said I picked the wrong card,”

“And! And that was after they told me to pick Peter Panner when I got the feature. It was the worst feature ever! If I ever get my hands on that fat prick, I’ll put that pan over his head! Bong! Bong! Bong! Pan harder, you old fuck!”

As Nathan was gestured how he’d club the virtual prospector to death, Mrs Goldman’s garden light turned on and her husband came out.

Our reporter and Nathan then ran.

More to come.