Quarantined Jerry Jones Micromanages Grandson’s Madden Franchise to 7-9 Season.

Quarantined in his mansion, and bored out of his mind, Jerry Jones recently took over GM responsibilities for his grandson Cory’s Madden franchise.

“I was eating a sandwich one day thinking about the 90’s when I saw little Cory playing his Nintendo gaming box machine on the TV. I’m not normally one for video games, but I saw he was playing a football game. Upon further inspection, I found out he was actually running an electronic franchise. And he was running it very poorly. So I had to step in.” Said Jones about his new role with his grandson’s Madden franchise. “He was resistant to the idea at first, but I quickly reminded him who was paying the electric bill that ran his Nintendo computer machine in the first place. Once he realized I was holding all the cards, the rest was easy.”

10 year old Cory Jones was reportedly not having any issues managing his already successful Madden franchise, but was strong armed by Jerry Jones and his vast wealth and resources. After Jones initially showed interest in “combining their talents” to create the ultimate championship winning franchise, there was no resisting his advances. The arrangement started as a joint venture, and then spiraled rapidly out of control leading to Jerry Jones getting lawyers and Cory’s dad involved to protect his place with the virtual team.

“At first I thought it would be fun to play with grandpa. Especially because the real football team he manages has only won like one playoff game in 25 years.” Said Cory about the business relationship he now shared with his grandfather. “I thought it might be good for him to experience some success. My team did win 6 Super Bowls in the first 6 seasons I played, which I thought was pretty good. But grandpa… I mean, Mr. Jones… Insisted we could do better with his expertise. As he continued to get more and more involved, I realized that was not the case. We went 7-9 last season, and I don’t like our chances this season either. His micromanagement of every process related to the team is very off-putting, and it destroys the morale of the players and coaches. And they aren’t even real. I don’t think he knows how video games work. He’s always shouting at the TV and threatening to call his lawyers. He even keeps calling it a Nintendo even though it’s clearly a PS4. I’m contemplating resigning and playing Call of Duty, but I’m afraid he’ll get involved in that too.”

Jerry’s first move as GM was to fire the entire coaching staff that Cory had carefully hired and developed over the years. “I don’t care what these coaching numbers on the Nintendo say. I know a good coach when I see one. I follow my gut.” Said Jerry about the coaching staff changes. “The salaries Cory was paying these guys were outrageous… It’s almost like he has no regard for the team’s bottom line.”

“He fired all the coaches on our team and replaced them all with special teams coordinators. My playbooks are now almost entirely punt and kick formations, which isn’t ideal.” Cory commented about the controversial coach firings. “He said it’s not about how talented a coach is on the inside, it’s about how much respect they show you on the outside. He said you can walk all over special teams coordinators… But what does any of this have to do with winning games?”

“Make no mistake about it, I need Cory. For now… I’m not too good at the Nintendo games, because of my arthritis. So he has to play every game. I’m just the idea man, the strategy guy. I’m the brains and the looks behind the operation.” Said Jerry Jones smiling exposing his baked bean-colored teeth. “But the second my grand daughter Allie comes of age, I’m going to replace Cory with her. She’s smaller in stature than Cory, I think I’d have a better chance in a fight with her should things get physical. It’s all about control baby.”

At press time, Jones was seen attempting to negotiate a trade with the virtual version of himself. “I don’t think this trade’s going to happen.” Jones remarked. “This guy is a real arrogant ass hole.”

Drew Forbes http://thesportsmemery.com Drew was raised by his 3 dads on an Emu farm in Humboldt, Iowa. He has an irrational fear of cockroaches, and seafood restaurants that leave some of the skin on the fish they serve. In August, 2019 Drew blacked out drinking bourbon Manhattans, and when he woke up the next morning this website had been created. When he grows up some day, he wants to die. See author's posts