Earlier this afternoon I became irritated with a few different drivers. With that in mind I’ve described the type of driver a few of the presidential candidates are likely to be:

THE RACE FOR THE WHITE HOUSE

Hilary Clinton:

She is a texter/emailer. I can see her now with those bug eyed sunglasses on. Text, snapchat, instagram, and liking tons of photos on Facebook. She’s also in an all black Land Rover. As she obliviously swerves between lanes, others flip her off but of course, she realizes no wrong doing. And when a camera catches her run a red light, she argues that the entire system is out to get her. In the end she never pays her ticket and continues texting all her girlfriends over an unsecured messaging system.

Donald Trump:

Trump is a speedster. He’s the dude that you find recklessly weaving his shiny ass racer in and out of traffic. Never mind the mini van full of kids, he’s coming through 40 Mph over the limit. The car has huge rims, a new wax job and some trophy wife sitting right beside him. Sunglasses on and “hair” blowing in the wind is the way he rolls. And when the cops try to slow him down, he hides behind the nearest wall or guns it for an exit. Not because he’s scared, but because the car is nothing more than a rental.

Bernie Sanders:

His ride of choice? A busted 4 door from the 70’s fully equipped with a cassette player. This thing is also plastered with every environmental, union, or peace protest bumper sticker you can image. Its nothing but the right lane for Bernie as he creeps no more than 1 or 2 MPH over the limit. His car is significantly rusted out and the antenna is held together with some warn out duct tape. If the wind blows just right he loses all signal and resorts to nothing more than the clank of his car and the thoughts in his mind. He also grumbles any time someone speeds by in the left lane.

Ted Cruz:

It’s a family motor home for Cruz. He sits with a sly grin on his face while in control of this monster. Of course his family is properly placed throughout, reading their books and singing the gospel. Need to stop for a potty break? “Tough luck, sweetie. We have an agenda” he yells out when his daughter has to tinkle. Never mind the toilet on board, the kids can’t use that because he doesn’t like it dirty. For Mr. Cruz its all image as he trucks the family across country for a good ol’ fashion family road trip.