February 18, 2014 4 min read

Even Google says you shouldn’t be a glasshole. Just because you wear an insanely amazing $1,500 computer on your face doesn’t give you license to be “creepy or rude.” The tech behemoth, which apparently has a witty, sensitive side, also advises against donning Google Glass while riding a bull or cage fighting. Gee, we can’t imagine why not.

Yes, Google wants users to go boldly, but ever so carefully and considerately into the pioneering world of Glass. And in case you brave Explorers can’t make heads or tails of what’s kosher and what’s not while rocking Glass, Google also wants to give you a hand. The company today issued a helpful Google Glass do’s and don’t guide and it’s equal parts practical and entertaining.

Related: Virgin Atlantic Is Using Google Glass to Greet Customers

“Since the [Google Glass Explorer] program got started, our Explorers have gotten a lot of attention when they wear Glass out and about,” the guide reads. “Reactions range from the curious -- ‘Wow!” Are those the ‘Google glasses? How do they work?’ -- to the suspect -- ‘Goodness gracious do those things see into my soul?!’”

Who knows? They just might peer deep into your soul. But maybe not if the person peering from behind them follows Google’s official Glass-iquette pointers. Here are some of our favorites from the cheeky do’s and don’ts list:

Don’t “glass-out.” Yeah, don’t be that guy who wears glass like a second skin and zones out basically 24/7. Like Google says, “If you find yourself staring off into the prism for long periods of time you’re probably looking pretty weird to the people around you.” Oh, and don’t tuck into a tome like War and Peace from behind Glass. True, “things like that are better done on bigger screens.”

Related: The NYPD Is Testing Google Glass for Patrol Purposes

Don’t “be creepy or rude (aka, a ‘Glasshole’).” You know, creeping sketchily around places with Glass, like the movies, banks, casinos, and, yup, even (cringe) locker rooms and dressing rooms. Google sums it up perfectly: “In places where cell phone cameras aren’t allowed, the same rules will apply to Glass.” Capiche? Okay, good.

Don’t “rock glass while doing high-impact sports.” See? We weren’t kidding at the beginning of this article. Google really thinks that “water skiing, bull riding or cage fighting with Glass are probably not good ideas.” We’re pretty sure Glass is also a no-go for volcano surfing, too. Yes, that’s a thing now.

Do “take advantage of the Glass voice commands.” In other words, don’t be afraid to boss your Glass around, like you would Siri. Start by saying the magic words “ok glass,” then literally tell that pair what to do, like so: “Take a picture.” “Record a video.” “Get directions to.” “Send message to.” and “Make a call to.” Last we checked, “Make a pastrami sandwich.” isn’t a real Google Glass command… yet.

Google points out that nifty voice commands “free your hands up to do other things like golfing, cooking, or juggling flaming torches while balancing on a beach ball.” But wait, didn’t they warn that Glass and extreme sports don’t mix?

Do “ask for permission.” Would you snap a person’s picture with your smartphone or DSLR without asking them for permission? No? Then it’s probably poor form to stare someone down with your Glass and take pics and video of them without getting their buy-in first.

We’re not sure how many people will actually follow this somewhat unrealistic tip, which feels a bit like an awkward acknowledgement from Google regarding the shame spiral of privacy pitfalls haunting Glass. After all, it’s impossible to know what Glass wearers are really up to from behind their snazzy tech specs (that is, unless you’re the NSA).

Remember, eyeborgs, like the friendly -- and surprisingly pretty funny -- folks at Google caution, “Standing alone in the corner of a room staring at people while recording them through Glass is not going to win you any friends.” Neither is wearing them in the shower and snapping a selfie https://plus.google.com/+Scobleizer/posts/TcaqNeYJWXo