Knock, Knock: A disturbing jumble of male experience and death... Sincerely awkward and repulsive, even offensive at points, but in a way that begrudgingly works. 3.5 stars



Eleanor: Tedious... I think the word substitutions lose some of their impact due to the vast number--might have worked a bit better for me if written in first person for this reason (as it could make a fun character trait), but ultimately it still would be tedious to have to parse out the intended meaning and significance. May

Knock, Knock: A disturbing jumble of male experience and death... Sincerely awkward and repulsive, even offensive at points, but in a way that begrudgingly works. 3.5 stars



Eleanor: Tedious... I think the word substitutions lose some of their impact due to the vast number--might have worked a bit better for me if written in first person for this reason (as it could make a fun character trait), but ultimately it still would be tedious to have to parse out the intended meaning and significance. Maybe 2 stars, or perhaps more like 1.5 stars (with my amount of patience being challenged so much in reading it, I have less left to bother with the decision... with a more moderate amount of word play, or more patient/less easily annoyed reader, this might work much better).



How Monkey Got Married...Orlando: Maybe I am still too bitter about Eleanor or maybe I have spent too little time enmeshed in office politics to appreciate parts of this, but ugg! Didn't even particularly find any characters likeably dislikable... Just awful, 1 star?



Zombies: Surreal like a dream, but increasingly tolerable... Found myself hoping for a different ending, but much better than the past couple of duds. 2.5 stars (probably higher if you don't mind the kumbaya ending)



Loser: So "it's like forever" that this one drags on, but the curve ball is the long awaited ending almost manages to feel a touch abrupt... "but it's probably the Hello Kitty." Honestly, the ending redeemed this a bit, even if it was predictable; 2 stars.



Red Sultan's Big Boy: A horse tale not for the faint of heart. But works in spite of itself. Maybe 3.5 or 4 stars.



Romance: Somewhat endearing in a non-cutesy way, glad i didn't skip it I suppose... but not by much, too predictable. 3 stars



Cannibal: Disturbing, and yet boring too... At this point I think I am getting the author's schtick (because really how could you not in this story), but I am really beginning to wish he'd consistently develop the quality of his work rather than skating by on content and effect. 2.5 stars, since it left me pretty strikingly neutral



Why Coyote Never Had Money for Parking: Same style as the 'How Monkey...' story, but with reluctant father mishaps... maybe less annoying maybe I just started into it less annoyed. 1.5 stars, still dull adult angst



Phoenix: Twisted, one-sided. A neurotic mother works herself into intense paranoid worry for her child during phone calls while out of town... segmented by flashbacks to timeframe of said child's early pregnancy. Kind of boring plot progression, but better than many of the others in this collection. 3.75 stars



The Facts of Life: Meh. Birds and the bees talk with a twist. Stream of consciousness response to the 6 yo's mention of a school assignment (on unsafe sex). Sighing and eye rolling, maybe 1.5 stars.



[At this point, I almost feel like Troy's father could be the son in Knock, Knock... This thought leads me to a sequence of thoughts, until I feel like this whole trainwreck could be an exercise in that child trying to live up to the legacy in his mind. I convince myself this really could be all a collection of this character's trying too hard stories... This revelation, while unlikely/delusional, makes me mildly more tolerant of the disaster thus far... and deciding to entertain this game, makes me somewhat more willing to continue/resume reading.]



Cold Calling: Even more drudging than I would have imagined a fictional telemarketer account (I knew some, their true stories were better)... The author's polished his flair on this via copious racist remarks. 1.5 stars



The Toad Prince: Laughably melodramatic "ickifying" tactics, but it somewhat sails (despite the fact that it reads a bit like being back in high school creative writing class), I guess 2.5-3 stars.



Smoke: This scene seems very familiar, like something I have seen or read before... but a rawer, rough draft version of something that was made better that has crept hauntingly back up (like when a child half-cleans a spot on the carpet and it wicks back up from the pad). I found it slightly worked better for me when I reread it at a frenetic pace like the manic inner obsessions of someone uninterested in participating in the conversation that is being baited, but who's also unable to just let the awkward silence sit there. Again with the unrealized potential, 2 stars I guess.



Torcher: Much too slow to unfold, and a bit underwhelming in other ways... but it does manage to garner a bit of success as a hamfisted parody of both Burning Man and bungling detective stories. Despite the condescension and charachure-ish depictions I'd say this isn't bad, maybe a draw at 2.5 stars.



Liturgy: So forgettable I can't in good conscience rate it (but it would have been low). Loosely remember some prissy HOA bleck... but didn't find it as amusing as it seemed to find itself.



Why Aardvark Never Landed on the Moon: Unfortunate tale of preteen devolution... Slightly more impactful because I have children this age, but certainly of similar style and captivation as the 'How Monkey...' and 'Why Coyote...' tales. 1.5-2 stars



Fetch: This ridiculous story about a tennis ball actually amused me. 4.25 stars



Expedition: Like quicksand (or perhaps like the bag of cat food in 'Phoenix'), once finally on the other side I looked back flummoxed how it took so long to get there when it appears so unassuming. Feeling more than bit like I'm being punked. Some odd choices are made, and I was much less patient than earlier in the book... 2-2.5 stars



Mister Elegant: Jarringly bizarre bell curve tale of exotic dancing, could have been extraordinary... 3 stars



Tunnel of Love: A woman chatting with her masseuse, another working piece... 3.5 stars.



Inclinations: Horrible topic, some rotten characters, and of course the expected ick... but fairly nice development. Begrudgingly enough it is pretty good, good enough it could (should?) have stood on it's own. It also proved I was right about this author's potential (made me forgive the recommender, a little) maybe I'll read something else by him... in time. Let's be generous and say 4 stars.



How a Jew Saved Christmas: Well, not much to see here (beyond a 'nice' ending)... but mostly because it is just dull. 1.5 stars



This book as a whole feels just meh... and the biggest shock wasn't one of the offenses he nested in the stories, but that this would be printed as a finished work. It is as if the author had a publishing deadline looming but was in a funk so he rummaged through his old papers and dug up a few fistfuls of abandoned projects/scenes edited out of larger works or other writing exercises and called them a collection of shorts. Most rely a bit too heavily on shock value, prejudice, gory descriptions (which in and of themselves can at times be so beautiful that they point to great ability/potential not elsewhere put to use), sex and swearing as if it is some type of written slight of hand to distract you from the lack of effort and boringness as an attempt to salvage these 'almosts.' Perhaps it just is gratuitous to appeal to a young demographic, but his schtick doesn't outweigh all flaws for me (and hopefully his other works don't have the same unfinished student work air; I can't help but equate him with the smirking student cranking out junk overnight for class just watch classmates/teacher attempt review it as if it were a serious workwork--only laughing his way to the bank since this was actually printed).



While I "can't unread," I do greatly look forward to forgetting many of these as soon as I can and am very grateful I did not buy this. {Average rating ending up about 2.5 stars, seems somehow fitting because many left me neutral and or felt like a bunted effort get ideas on paper...}