A story about a teen father being made head boy has stirred considerable debate about the way New Zealand talks about teen parents.

The newly-appointed head boy of Porirua's Aotea College, Noa Woolloff, became a father in March to baby girl Kyla with his former girlfriend Shania Paenga, also 17. At the time he kept the news from his mother, Siggy Woolloff, who was herself pregnant with Noa's brother.

Woolloff, 17, said he was driving when he heard the radio show with a theme of how being a father had changed listeners, and he decided he had a "hell of a story to tell", about his experiences.

ROBERT KITCHIN Jimmy Davidson (Siggy's baby son), Siggy Woolloff and her other son Noa Woolloff who has had his first baby at 17 years old

Some criticised media reports about Woolloff for focusing too much on the male experience, praising the young father for basic human decency while obscuring the experience of the mother. They called for more positive stories about teen mothers, who are generally portrayed as vulnerable, rather than victorious.

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Celine Walters of Tauranga, who had Eli when she was 17, would love to see more articles that show teen mothers doing well.

Supplied Celine Walters and Nathaniel Tawhiti with their son Eli. "Everyone thinks that I'm single, and everyone asks him if he's still with me. It annoys us so much. We can still keep our relationship together."

"People don't realise that you can do well, they think you are going to be stuck working at McDonald's for the rest of your life," she said.

Walters finished her last year of high school while pregnant, gaining NCEA Level 3 with excellence endorsement that just one in 10 of her fellow students managed. After a gap year - which she had always planned on any way - she is beginning university this year.

Strangers glare at Walters when she is in public with her child. Some make direct comments.

Supplied Grandmother Siggy Woolloff with her baby son Jimmy Davidson, alongside her other son Noa Woolloff, 17 and his baby Kyla.

"If you're buying nappies they ask whether you should be at school instead," she said.

"It's mostly older people and people your age. Grandparents seem to the worst in my opinion. Lots of older parents with teenage kids too, like, 'oh my kid would never do that!'"

"I try to ignore it. I know that they don't know me as a mum, they don't know what I'm capable of."

THE GENDER GAP

Society's perceptions of teen fathers and teen mothers are radically different. A plethora of research shows that people generally assume teen fathers to be much less active in the life of their child than the mother.

This stereotype exists for a reason - American studies have shown that only about half of teen fathers lived with their children after birth. Furthermore, there are far fewer teen fathers than teen mothers, as teenagers are often impregnated by adults.

Walters is in a relationship with her son's father, 19-year-old Nathaniel Tawhiti, who was in her year at high school. But since the stereotype of a teen mother is a single one, people assume he has left her.

"Everyone thinks that I'm single, and everyone asks him if he's still with me. It annoys us so much. We can still keep our relationship together.

"And we're not together just because of our son either either. People assume you're either together just for the baby or broken up because of the baby.

"I know he got a lot of comments when everyone found out, like, 'how could you could that to her?'

"I know his friends give him a lot of s*** about it."

Those who disliked the article saw a double standard between the way a father's success and a mother's success was celebrated.

"Im just real tired of what is basic good behaviour being put on a pedestal when a guy does it (& when a girl has little choice to not do so)" tweeted @Madicattt.

That double standard may be in part due to overwhelmingly low expectations society holds for teen fathers.

A 2014 study of 255 American university students found that while all teen parents are disliked, teen fathers are particularly hated.

This was consistent with other research which found that teen fathers are seen as further from the "ideal parent" than teen mothers. Men are also expected to be older than women when they first parent a child.

If one expects all teen fathers to be absent deadbeats, then seeing any participation becomes a positive surprise. Teen mothers are afforded no such luxury.