If Squirrel Girl tugs and stretches your entire being into pretzels of obsessive bliss like me, I have a truly magnificent announcement for you today.

Her true origin has finally been revealed.

Will Murray has spilled ALL the Squirrel Girl beans in Rob Imes’ fabulous new issue of Ditkomania. You really must obtain your own copy of #79 and wallow in the most spectacular old-school zine in the world. The writing is magnificent, and the secrets of Doreen Green’s creation are mind blowing.

Here are the crispiest nuggets:

1. Will Murray actually wanted to cut loose from the serious drama of the X-Men titles and bring back the light-hearted anything-goes joy of comic books.

2. Monkey Joe was a real squirrel, and Doreen Green was a real girl.

3. Steve Ditko invented the costume and eyeliner himself.

With one last standing ovation for Rob Imes and Will Murray, I leave you today with the finished full color Iron Man 2 Squirrel Girl card by George “Geo” Davis. Now that we know her true origins, we love her even more. Forever.