Let's face it: As much as we like to pretend that we're all Bruce Willis, if faced with a real-life kidnapper, most of us would react by soiling ourselves, begging for our lives and soiling ourselves some more. Since stories about people continuously pissing their pants aren't that unique or interesting, here are the tales of six real badass hostages who not only kept their cool but managed to foil their kidnappings in awesome ways. Like ...

6 Telling Passengers to Take Down Their Hijacker (Right in Front of Him)

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The Kidnapping:

In 2007, a commercial flight from Mauritania in northern Africa to the Canary Islands was hijacked by a man who barged into the cockpit with two loaded handguns soon after taking off. His objective? Turning the plane over to France, where he planned to request political asylum for unknown reasons.

Piloting an airplane is hard enough under non-crazy conditions, so imagine having to do it with a gun pointed at your head and 71 panicking passengers behind you. As if that wasn't enough, at this point the crew informed the pilot that they didn't actually have enough fuel to get to France like the hijacker wanted. Uh-oh.

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"And if you look directly behind me, you'll see a man in sore need of an ass-whupping."

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But Then ...

As the pilot tried to explain to the hijacker that they couldn't make it to his intended destination, he realized something: The guy didn't speak a word of French. Turning this small fact to his advantage, the pilot took the PA system and calmly informed the passengers, in French, that they would be making a rough landing ... and that as soon as the hijacker lost his balance from the impact, they should feel free to come into the cockpit and beat the shit out of him. As the pilot said this, the hijacker stood right next to him, assuming that he was just relaying his demands or talking about normal airplane stuff.

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"Nah, I was just telling them how honored I am to be hijacked by a man as cool and awesome as you."

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Women and children were instructed to move to the seats in the back, partly for their own safety, and partly so that those who could deal the most damage were closer to the front. And then the pilot did exactly what he said: Upon landing the plane, he slammed on the brakes and abruptly sped up, causing the hijacker to fall down and drop his guns. Then about 10 passengers immediately rushed in and overpowered him as crew members poured boiling hot water over his body.

Eventually, after the passengers were done using him as a hacky sack, the hijacker was handed over to Spanish authorities. Why the genius chose France above all other countries when he didn't even have a basic understanding of the language, we may never know.