Oedipus Probably Had A Self Complex

1st place in Derby #257: On The Beach, with 674 votes!

OEDIPUS:

Aaaiiii, aaaiii . . . Alas! Alas!

How miserable I am . . . such wretchedness . . .

Where do I go? How can the wings of air

sweep up my voice? Oh my destiny,

how far you have sprung now!



CHORUS LEADER

To Dagobah, to that fateful place where men will look away

To hide from what horrors you have wreaked.

OEDIPUS

His sand castle, I knew it not.

That dire prophesy seen out

The agony of my father's face

Pierces me! The memory of aching shame.



[OEDIPUS BLINDS HIMSELF]



CHORUS LEADER

That is a bit dramatic. After all

We know that you can see with

A blast shield on. So boo-hoo.



OEDIPUS

If I could see, I don't know how my eyes

Could look at my own father when I come

To Hades. Though will I still be blind

When I become one of those ghost Jedi guys?

Ah me! What tortures await me there.

The only thing that could be worse than this

Would be if somebody told me I had been

Sexually aroused by my sister.



[CHORUS WRINGS HANDS NERVOUSLY, LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AND MUMBLING "SHOULD YOU TELL HIM OR SHOULD I?"]



Wear this shirt: to the beach to protect against both suns' UV rays.



Don't wear this shirt: on Arrakis.



This shirt tells the world: "I have complicated feelings about my father, unlike everybody else."



We call this color: There aren't many Star Wars puns related to silver.

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