NEW YORK—In what numerous brands are calling a potentially lucrative new strategy, the beauty and cosmetics industry this week launched a massive initiative aimed at convincing women to feel self-conscious about the palms of their hands. “Nothing says youth and beauty like smooth, silky palms, and our new line of Palm Perfection products ensures that women everywhere can wave to the world with confidence,” L’Oréal executives said of the company’s new release, one of dozens of recently launched beauty campaigns designed to make women feel deeply and profoundly ashamed of their palms by obsessively scrutinizing every aspect of their size, shape, and texture. “Women won’t believe how different their palms look and feel after just a week of using Palm Perfection. They’ll wonder how they ever went outside without it.” At press time, revenue reports indicated that the beauty campaign was one of the most successful in recent history with over 3.4 million women mortified.

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