When it was announced that Lone Ranger star Johnny Depp would honor his Native American heritage by playing Tonto, perhaps the Native Americans’ most hated character in all of pop culture, the first question that sprung to mind was, “What nonsensical, disparate impressions of deceased character actors, rock stars, and cartoon characters would Johnny Depp say he combined for the role—like maybe Vincent Price as filtered through Sebastian Bach and Snagglepuss?” We’ll probably have to wait for a trailer for the official reply to that, but in the meantime producer Jerry Bruckheimer has already answered the other burning question—namely, what outlandish combination of thick make-up, animal parts, and every beaded necklace he can carry will Depp emerge wearing from out of a suddenly barren costuming department.


Bruckheimer gave everyone an early glimpse of what sort of spectacle we can expect from the Gore Verbinski film, tweeting the above image of Armie Hammer’s relatively dignified Lone Ranger alongside Depp’s Tonto. And as you can see, Depp's version of Tonto will resemble a Jack Sparrow who has since become chief of the Southwest’s storied Obsessive Crow Fan tribe. And although Depp glares at Hammer as he steals his usual hat-thunder, it is a challenge he has more than answered by putting a dead bird on his head. “So who’s got the most distracting hat now?” Johnny Depp thinks to himself, his eyes hard and defiant. “It is Depp. Always Depp.”