Sonia Manzano retired from a 44-year career on Sesame Street as an actress and writer this summer. Fans were sad to see her go, but bid her a fond adieu, with warm thanks for everything she gave to us, both behind the camera and in front. In August 2015, Scholastic Press published her memoir, Becoming Maria, which I recently read, and highly recommend to grownups who grew up with Maria.

Readers hoping for a behind-the-scenes account of her career on Sesame Street will be disappointed, but to expect so little of Manzano’s book would shortsighted. Manzano recounts in gripping detail the chaos and despair of growing up in abject poverty. The book is set in the Bronx, amidst a culture in which there is little hope for a life beyond getting married, getting pregnant (not always in that order), and continuing the cycle of poverty you inherited through no fault of your own. Couple that with the unpredictability of addiction and routine domestic violence, and before long the reader is surprised to find they are as desensitized as the children and family members themselves at what many of us would consider an unlivable reality.

Manzano discovers her abilities slowly throughout her childhood, as the oppression of everyday life makes self-realization almost impossible. She didn’t even have a fully-formed an interest in performing until her teenage years, and then through a slim opportunity earned her way into the performing arts high school which would give her confidence as an actress. It’s gratifying and illuminating to hear her tell her own story, as she earns a part in a new musical, Godspell, and returns “home” from Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, to perform in New York. Her dismay comes through her words (and her voice, if you get the audiobook), as she tries to share her success with her family, who can’t understand her new life. After all, what does “achievement” look like if you can’t imagine it?

The book ends, as it should, as Manzano’s Sesame Street career begins. It allows for a feeling of familiarity toward Manzano that isn’t possibly if we only know her through Sesame Street. It would be too confining. “Maria” is a fictional character with whom we connect because of what comes through the camera. Manzano’s real life journey – then and now – contains meaning far beyond.