ABOUT The Church Gabenism

The Lord Gabe has Blessed us all with his love and compasion through the Steam Summer Sales

Gabenism is the belief that a man long ago created the Universe purely out of Steam. He created the Fortress, and the Earth. On Earth, Gaben spawned many creatures, but most importantly, Gordan and Alyx. The first humans on earth. They reproduced until the world was full of 7 billion people. We as descendents of Gaben must praise our lord, our face the horrible depths of Chell.



Not only do Gabenists believe in Gaben, they also believe in Garry. Garry is an evil being who lives in the deepest layer of Chell. Chell is where the souls who defy Gaben go after they die. If you do not defy Gaben, you go to the Fortress. The Fortress is where holy beings live after they die. You will be given all of the source games, and Steam Sales will be often. Gabenists also believe in Steam Sales. A Steam Sale is when Gaben is pleased with his descendents' work, and decides to release a bundle of hapiness upon them. (Or in other words, a Steam Sale)



To worship Gaben, you must go to Steam often, buy his games, and never give into Garry's evil doings.