Why the mayor seems to be shunning occasions involving homosexuals is being debated in many corners of Toronto’s gay community as the huge signature Pride festival gets underway.

Rob Ford’s office flatly denies that’s the case. But his decision to head to his cottage rather than the July 3 Pride parade — with no explanation for the festival’s nine other days — coupled with years of brow-raising comments and council votes, has many jumping to conclusions.

“He’s the mayor of a huge metropolis with a big gay community,” said Casey Oraa, chair of the Political Action Committee of Queer Ontario.

“His campaign was all about respect for taxpayers. Where’s his respect for us?”

Ford’s office took the unusual step Thursday of presenting his mother, Diane, to reporters before the mayor cut the ribbon of a medical supply store in Etobicoke.

“He just wants to spend the weekend with his family,” she said when asked about his decision.

Asked if he will attend any Pride events, the mayor said: “I’ll take it one day at a time. My family comes first.” Asked if he is homophobic, Ford looked away and mumbled something unintelligible under his breath.

Ford’s Pride decision follows his rebuffing of a half-dozen other similar overtures since last fall. His singular engagement with the gay community — signing the Pride Week proclamation — was done privately, with nobody from Pride present.

“Clearly it’s an ideological position,” Oraa said. “I’d respect him more if he would own up to his homophobia — say ‘This is what I believe.’”

Councillor Doug Ford, the mayor’s brother, called that accusation insulting “nonsense.”

“If someone needs Rob’s help, he’s there for them. And again, he doesn’t ask if they’re gay, straight, purple, pink, white, whatever.”

Gay activist and Jane’s Walk executive director Jane Farrow said Ford was a “a lovely guest” at her May 4 launch, happily posing for a photo with her and openly gay provincial cabinet minister Kathleen Wynne.

“It’s a very serious thing to accuse people of being homophobic, and I would not say that is how Rob Ford is acting, but he is being less than a really good mayor by avoiding the Pride parade.”

“Some (gay) people don’t want him there. I need him to be at my city’s Pride parade to show he’s the mayor for all the city’s people . . . It’s worth skipping some dock time. This is critical — be big, be brave.”

“Ford is probably frightened on some level of going to Church St.,” and doesn’t feel welcome, she said, adding he could march with Maple Leafs general manager Brian Burke and other parents of gays and lesbians.

Mel Lastman was once in Ford’s shoes. The former mayor at first resisted going to Pride, afraid of news footage of leather and nudity and the prospect of being jeered, but relented in 1998.

“I didn’t know how I’d be treated. But everybody was so receptive, everybody was having a good time and here were people proud of what you are,” Lastman said. “I told a kid: ‘Who’s better than you? No-o-o-body! You’ve got to feel that way about yourself. That’s what Canada’s about.’ That’s pride.”

He urged Ford to get past his gut and go, saying he was convinced by his son Dale telling him: “You’re the mayor of all the people.”

Kristyn Wong-Tam, Toronto’s only openly gay councillor, asked Ford to visit the gay village during a Feb. 9 meeting in his office, and has since repeatedly asked him to engage with the community.

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“My understanding from his staff is they were advising him to participate, but that it was the mayor’s decision not to,” said Wong-Tam (Ward 27, Toronto Centre-Rosedale).

“I have actually quite a bit of patience with the mayor on this issue. He’s going to be forced to look at the world through his new role — ‘I am the mayor of one the city with one of the top Pride celebrations in the world.’”

With files from Liam Casey