Are you tired of forking over tens of thousands of dollars to your attorneys for expensive document review? Never fear, because legendary investigative journalist Alex Jones has discovered the ONE WEIRD TRICK THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW to save money on expensive discovery. No, it’s not trucker speed or whatever’s in those supplements he’s hawking on YouTube Facebook Twitter his own Infowars website. It’s dumping the entire contents of your email server on the plaintiffs without bothering to review it first. Just pay shipping and handling, and they’ll throw in a two-pack of Super Male Vitality absolutely free!

Jones, who repeatedly called the 2012 Sandy Hook massacre a “false flag” operation, is being sued in Texas and Connecticut by parents he accused of faking their own children’s death. Plaintiffs demanded email metadata as part of discovery, and Jones’s attorneys produced it in a massive document dump on May 21.

Knowingly receiving or transmitting child pornography is a federal crime, so naturally the discovery consultants flipped their sh*t when they found an illicit image in an email attachment. Plaintiffs’ lawyers called the FBI, as mandated by federal law, and the feds discovered “numerous additional illegal images, which had apparently been sent to Infowars email addresses.” There’s no implication that anyone at Infowars solicited the illegal images, nor is there any implication that Jones’s counsel “engaged in even minimal due diligence and actually reviewed the materials before production.” AHEM.

Why Jones’s attorneys failed to review their client’s emails before handing them over is anyone’s guess. Why they allowed him to discuss the pending litigation on his Infowars broadcast last week is similarly mysterious. But his attorney Norman Pattis’s decision to join him on the show is … well, that one really is quite a headscratcher!

After Jones offered a million-dollar reward for the arrest and conviction of the person who sent him the illegal images while intimating that it was mighty coincidental that the plaintiffs’ lawyers found the images and reported them to the FBI — “And they get these emails a few weeks ago, and they go right to the FBI and say, ‘We’ve got him with child porn!'” — he went on to explain why he couldn’t possibly have knowingly possessed child pornography.

I like women with big giant tits and big asses. I don’t like kids like you goddamn rapists. F-heads. In fact, delete this: You f**ks are going to get it. You f**king child molesters. I’ll f**king get you in the end. You f**ks.

Pattis babbled some nonsense about Aristotle’s theories of anger management as his client pounded his fist on a picture of plaintiff’s counsel Chris Mattei, screaming, “We all know who did it,” and threatening, “One million dollars to put your head on a pike.”

And then now magically they want metadata out of hundreds of thousands of emails they got, and they know just where to go. What a nice group of Democrats. How surprising. What nice people. Chris Mattei. Chris Mattei. Let’s zoom in on Chris Mattei. Oh, nice little—[pounds picture of Attorney Mattei’s face with fist]—Chris Mattei. What a good American. What a good boy. You think you’ll put on me, what—[under his breath] I’m gonna kill . . . [growls]. Anyway, I’m done! Total war! You want it, you got it! I’m not into kids like your Democratic party, you cocksuckers! So get ready! Anyways, you’re my defense lawyer.

Anyways, he went on to refer to Chris Mattei as “a white Jewboy that thinks he owns America” and “a little, white Jewboy jerkoff son of a bitch.”

A different lawyer, Zachary Reyland, defended Jones yesterday in front of Bridgeport Superior Court Judge Barbara Bellis, who was not amused, calling the broadcast “indefensible, unconscionable, despicable, and possibly criminal behavior.”

The court has no doubt that Alex Jones was accusing plaintiffs’ counsel of placing child pornography in discovery material. […] I reject the defense claim that Alex Jones was enraged, it was an intentional act of rage for his viewing audience.

Her Honor was similarly impressed with his attorneys’ objection to complying with a discovery order to produce Infowars’s Google Analytics data because “they don’t possess the data themselves, and they should not have to get it from Google because Google holds Alex Jones in contempt.”

Then she barred his motion to dismiss and forced him to pay court costs and fees for the time he wasted making false implications about plaintiffs’ counsel. Which is a less terrible result than last week when Jones lost a copyright suit filed by Pepe the Frog creator Matt Furie and was forced to pay $15,000 in damages.

The Connecticut case is scheduled for trial in November 2020. Keep buying that Infowars Myco-ZX with “wildcrafted ingredients” to “address” your “intestinal yeast,” and also to make sure Alex Jones can continue his excellent legal defense.

Lawyers for Sandy Hook Families Say Alex Jones Sent Them Child Porn [CTPost]

Infowars Broadcast June 14, 2019 [Transcript]

Lafferty v. Jones, Hearing June 18, 2019 [Transcript]

Lafferty v. Jones, Plaintiffs’ Motion for Review of Broadcast by Alex Jones Threatening Plaintiffs’ Counsel [Motion]

Elizabeth Dye lives in Baltimore where she writes about law and politics.