Without further ado, let's get this party started...

Awkward moments in steak eating history (part one): when you order a T-bone and the meat that arrives on your plate doesn't have a bone in it. Also, when you order a steak medium rare and, geographically speaking, the western side of your meal is medium and the eastern side rare. I want so much to enjoy this steak more, because the venue is great. Not crowded, looks like a pub should look, a bloke playing guitar (it's hard to tell if he's a talented customer or actual talent. But still) and then there's the Freo factor. My workmate Brendan, a Fremantle local who is along for tonight's ride, reckons its one of his favourite haunts in the port city. Sadly though, the portion of cow I get just isn't up to scratch. That said, there's nothing wrong with the chips, which account for half a point in my score of 4.5/10.

In strict steak terms, this one probably belongs in the "meh" category - decent-sized hunk of rump, not chewy but not particulary tender either, with good but not great chips. And you have to factor in that it's competing against the Wembley Hotel and it's esteemed $12 surf and turf on a Wednesday. But the Rosemount has a couple of things going for it. There's an excellent beer garden and atmosphere (it's student night), plus, when I get to the bar and ask for a pint of Swan Draught, the barman asks if I might instead be more interested in a jug for $10. Say what? For a couple of seconds, my mate Macca and I are wondering if we've been transported back to 1998. It's hard to be too critical of a place where you can get a steak and a jug for $22 total (only once, all week will I get a steak and pint for that little). Score: 7/10



I've always loved this place, both as WAtoday.com.au's old local and a place for a beer after the footy. The Village used to do a darn decent $10 curry on a Thursday but these days it's steak night and I've got my mum with me as company - partly because she's a pretty ace lady and partly because she's the hardest marker of a meal I know (a $10 Botanica steak once copped "the treatment" due to a section of about three per cent that was deemed too chewy). Anyway, true to form Mum finds some early gristle in her 300-gram Black Angus but after that it's all plain chomping. It's also the best steak of the week to this point: nicely cooked - I get close to medium-rare, Mum somewhere near to medium - and full of flavour. Score: 8/10 (I ignored the sizeable temptation to deduct half a point off for the waitress who gave me cheek about splitting the bill with Mum. It was for tax purposes, damn it!)

Nice to know there is still such a thing as a hidden gem. You could walk right past 221 St Georges Terrace - the Forrest Centre - without knowing Rigby's was behind it. But you'd be doing yourself a disservice on a couple of counts. Firstly, it's a great, quaint watering hole (a replica of Lord Alexander Forrest's residence) and secondly, as my colleague The Baker and I mention several times during this meal, where else will you find a $10 steak in the CBD on a Friday evening?. Admittedly, the Rigby's steak adventure is one probably best undertaken with an open mind. You won't (based on my experience) be asked how you'd like it cooked, you may have to take the chance a sign saying "Allianz compo meeting upstairs" doesn't refer to a gathering of former diners and your meat may arrive looking like it's just come off a backyard barbecue. But sometimes a slight hint of charcoal to a sirloin isn't the worst thing in the world. Very edible and, for the first time, we've passed the threshold of the meat costing less than the beer. Score: 7.5/10.



Awkward moments in steak eating history (part two): when you arrive at the table you've booked with your golfing buddy to find it is candle-lit. Um, let's move on...quickly. Big-hitting Benny and I have one more very slight hiccup when our 250-gram sirloins arrive before our beers (ordered at the same time) but from then it's medium-rare magnificence. Honestly, I can't say enough good things about this steak. It's gorgeously tender and beautifully cooked - I'd happily pay $35 for it. Maybe even $40. When a resounding cheer reverberates through from the front bar, we figure Australia has scored in extra time to win the Asian Cup but pause for at least a couple of milliseconds to wonder whether a whole bunch of folks have just tried the steak. The chips are terrific too. Overall, well worth venturing into a very busy Northbridge for. Score: 9.5/10 (half a point off for there not being enough sauce - proof that nothing in life is perfect).

Of all the steaks I eat this week, this is the one I'm most tempted to grant a Mulligan to. I mean, the Captain Stirling is such a nice relaxed place for a summer Sunday sesh that I dearly want my meal to match the quality of the venue. But the raw fact - more to the point, the rare fact - is that when I order medium-rare I end up with a rump that isn't just mooing, but quite possibly pawing (hooving?) at the ground and preparing to charge. The chips are too salty and I've no real idea what to make of the "poor-man's pork crackle" fatty bits that run throughout this steak (OK, so I'll confess - I do kinda like them). Maybe I'm just getting grumpy towards the end of the week but I'm finding impossible to score this more than 5/10.

Awkward moments in steak-eating history (part three): you ring a venue a day in advance to book for cheap steak night, leave your number in case there are any dramas, then drive from Subiaco to Joondalup on the evening in question, only to be told "I'm sorry sir, we've run out of the steak". To borrow one of Chevy Chase's best but most underrated one-liners from Caddyshack, "thank you very little" to Bailey Bar and Bistro and your yet-to-be-proven-it-exists $10 sirloin. In the meantime, however, I've got more important matters pressing. Namely the fact I'm standing on a footpath in the norhern suburbs with seven per cent of battery left on my phone, it's 7.15pm and I somehow need to find a steak for $15 or less in the next hour or so to complete this challenge (for those counting along at home, I'm at $84 so far). A couple of quick calls, a 45-minute drive back to Freo and Bar Orient saves the day. I couldn't say the steak is anything special - it's just passable - but I love the old-school charm of this place, the $5 pool comp and a kitchen that stays cooking until 9pm on a Monday. It's been life-saver for me. Oh, and the pints are $7.50! Score: 7/10

And so it's done. A total of $99 outlaid on meat to find two steaks I'd definitely want to eat again (Brass Monkey, Village), one that's too good a value to resist (Rigby's), two places I'd happily return to (Rosemount, Bar Orient) and one joint that's going on my NT News-style shitlist (hint, it's in the north of Perth). Stats nerds might like to know that I spent $64.80 on accompanying beers. So the old saying about there being a steak in every pint doesn't quite hold true but it's not all that far off. It's still in the back of my mind that there must be a whole bunch of cheap Perth steaks I'm yet to try (the Odin and Herdsman spring immediately to mind). I haven't touched the eastern suburbs (or, really, the north). In the absence of the Broken Hill's old $5 steak (extinct, according to my last phone call there), I long to find another venue under $10. Assuming I can find another seven venues that bring me in at $100 or less - and you can help out by commenting on this story, emailing or tweeting me - I promise I'll do it all again. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to eat some baked beans and vegetables...for about the next three months or so.