We feel like we know the general history of Christianity: Christ was born, he spouted some stuff about free love and messed with the man (the Ro-man), then bada-boom-bada-bing, his followers rule the world. But there are several chapters too awkward, terrifying, or just plain embarrassing for your average Sunday school teacher to handle. Come, let's dive neck deep into the truly weird antics of early Christians.

5 Women Played A Huge Part In Church History (And Were Entirely Written Out)

via United Church of Canada

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Before Christians could freely practice their faith, the whole thing was more secretive than a My Little Pony forum. Perhaps that is why the movement largely coalesced around women instead of wild-eyed prophets screaming their faith to the skies 24/7. Phoebe was the trusted messenger of Apostle Paul, and she was partly responsible for helping establish a standardized dogma. Women like Paula, Marcella, and Fabiola were the driving force behind social services projects that organized religion would eventually become known for -- you know, little things such as monasteries and convents and hospitals for the underprivileged.



"We also had dope-ass bake sales."

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This was usually done at their own expense. In fact, without some very devout sugar mommas who financed and protected its followers, the Christian religion might have floundered in its infancy. Once it gained a powerful foothold in the first Christian emperor, Constantine, his mother, St. Helena, became a religious Johnny Appleseed, spreading the love by building great churches in Rome, France, Jerusalem, and Bethlehem.

Besides money and organizational talent, early female Christians were highly represented in ministerial roles and preaching. They're believed to have comprised a very large portion of the followers in the first scattered congregations. Many of the first deacons and serious scholars were women.

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But do you recognize any of those influential names? No? Not a single one?



Hint: This is one of the five women we just mentioned. No? Still?

Of course not! At some point in history, as Christianity became more stable, it started to turn its gaze toward the less female-friendly bits of scripture, such as this gem from St. Paul in 1st Timothy 2:12: