Monday 3 April

Conservative group tag-teamed by student gov, admins at Flagler

“You know, the library is kind of a cool place when it’s closed.”

They were worried about YAL “trending toward one certain political agenda,” so perhaps the SGA should abolish itself, too.

All-star panel examines ‘organized neurosis’ of PC college campuses

Sometimes, it’s not even that well-organized.

Student reporter fed to wolves for challenging anti-white prof

You’d think that they would bother teaching student journalists the definition of “libel,” but then that might have prevented them from booting a conservative columnist from the staff.

Columbia sets aside meeting space for POC, LGBTQ students only

Diversity through segregation, eh? Interesting approach...

Frat apologizes for ‘triggering’ dance moves

What? Like James Bond?

Constitution-wielding student sues college over speech policies

They already allow free speech on 0.003% of campus, so all they have to do is open up the remaining 99.997% and there won’t be a problem.

Libraries providing students with resources to ‘resist’ Trump

“You know, the library is kind of a cool place when it’s closed.”

Tuesday 4 April

Student destroys pro-life display, yelling ‘this is bullshit!’

Ironically, his words fit his own behavior much better than they do the pro-life protesters’.

CSULA admin vows ‘leftist bigots’ will disrupt Santorum speech

Yep, we pretty much expect that sort of thing, these days…

At least they’re admitting they’re bigoted! The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

Republican students harassed by ‘anti-fascist’ vandals

And here we had always thought that spray-painting hateful messages on public buildings was an essentially fascist thing to do.

Duke can’t find students to serve on ‘bias and hate’ committee

“Nobody goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.”

NAU prez rejects ‘safe spaces,’ students demand resignation

We suspect the real issue was her assertion that students should “develop the skills to be successful in this world.”

Wednesday 5 April

Muslim teen writes BLM hashtag 100 times, gets into Stanford

We’re still a little skeptical about this one. Bear in mind that the kid made the claim on April Fool’s Day.

Florida prof tries to hide identity while protesting Ben Shapiro speech

Perhaps she was worried about the optics of a professor protesting against the free exchange of ideas.

VIDEO: Harvard students say Trump is more dangerous than ISIS

They’ve clearly been watching too much Archer.

GMU hosts ‘make your own damn sandwich’ feminist event

And they actually made sandwiches, which seems somewhat contrary to the spirit of the event, but whatever.

AAUW: ‘Humans will walk on Mars’ before gender gap closes

All the more reason to get that Mars mission off the ground: perhaps then the AAUW will stop its whinging.

Thursday 6 April

Prof tries to keep anti-Trump course a secret, fearing backlash

Oops! Did we let the cat out of the bag?

University lowers ‘Civility Flag’ whenever someone gets offended

That’s right. They lower a “Civility Flag” to half-mast whenever someone is uncivil on campus, presumably so the community knows to begin its self-flagellation.

How on earth is it not continuously at half-mast?

UCLA prevents students from enrolling in free speech course

The school is immensely concerned that too many students would affect the professor’s ability to teach them all properly, but seems to have no such compunctions about forcing students to jeopardize their own safety by sitting in the aisles of a class they aren’t being allowed to take.

Anti-capitalist protesters disrupt work, traffic at IU

That makes a certain sordid sense. After all, without capitalism there would hardly be any work or traffic to disrupt.

Friday 7 April

‘Jewish Privilege’ claims are ‘groundless,’ researchers proclaim

Maybe that statistics course would have paid off, after all...

Defiant conservatives invite Coulter to Berkeley after riots

Somehow we don’t see Ann being driven from campus quite so easily.

Are our children 'unlearning?' OU asks

That’s certainly a novel approach to teaching.

We half-expected this to be a reference to the classic Bush-ism, “is our children learning?”

YAL group rejected, told to find ‘other ways’ to be libertarian

Oh? Are there ways of being libertarian that would meet with SGA’s approval?

Saturday 8 April

Harvard to erase Puritans from 181-year-old alma mater song

Honestly, we would have thought that “‘till the stock of the Puritans die” would have been considered something of an aspirational line.

Sunday 9 April

Protesters use ‘white accomplices’ as ‘buffers’ against police

Note the unintentionally-revealing use of the term “accomplices.”