“According to him, incriminating testimony from other witnesses, like Bill Taylor, ‘refreshed my recollection about certain conversations.’ [imitating Sondland] Huh, you know what? That testimony I just heard really refreshed the old noodle here. You know, it made me remember one important detail: that I don’t want to go to jail for perjury.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Wow, so this guy is just revising the testimony he gave under oath? We can’t even edit our tweets, but this guy is walking into Congress just like, ‘Oh, you said “quid pro quo.” I thought you said “squid pro quo.” “Quid” makes so much more sense. Yeah, we totally did one of those.’” — TREVOR NOAH

“I’ll be honest. I feel bad for Sondland because he was the first to testify, all right? And he probably thought everyone was going to have his back and also say there was no quid pro quo. But then instead everyone snitched on him, and now he’s like, ‘Yeah, no, no — I’m also changing my story.’” — TREVOR NOAH

“O.K., if that’s something you just remembered, just think of all the small stuff you’re forgetting. Somewhere, there’s a 40-year-old man still waiting to be picked up from soccer.” — SETH MEYERS

“It is sort of like when you were a teenager and you tell your friends, ‘All right, remember, we tell our parents there was no liquor at the party.’ And you tell your parents the story, and they’re like, ‘Yeah, Trevor brought the liquor.’ And you’re like, ‘Uh, I would like to revise my earlier testimony!’” — TREVOR NOAH

“Gee, I wonder what jogged his memory? Maybe he started taking those Omega-3 supplements or something. They say those are very effective against perjury.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“The ambassador has now revised his testimony, while I imagine President Trump is now revising the ambassador’s employment status.” — JAMES CORDEN