If you brush up against someone — say, at a crowded party or dance club — you may be guilty of sexual harassment, at least according to Ohio State University's policy.

The policy (originally issued in 1980 but updated in 2014) includes as an example of sexual harassment the "unwanted touching, patting, hugging, brushing against a person's body or staring."

This would seem to include such common human interactions as putting a reassuring hand on someone's shoulder, hugging an acquaintance or — God forbid — brushing against someone when moving through a crowded room. As for "staring," spacing out at a party could get someone accused.

And how long can you look at someone before it becomes a stare? Three seconds? Five seconds? What if you're just glancing around the room and happen to catch the same person's eyes twice? They might think you're staring, but you're not. Parties would become a minefield of potential sexual harassment claims.

One can't always know how someone else will interpret the interaction, so at this point, it's best not to come within three feet of anyone, anywhere, just to be safe.

Now, OSU states that the touching would have to be "a pattern of conduct that unreasonably interferes with the work or academic environment." But if "hugging" and "brushing" against someone is considered harassment, that "pattern" wouldn't be hard to prove, even if the person doing the hugging or brushing had no ill intent.

I grew up in the South. We hug to say hello. Even acquaintances. Walking to class felt like one long hugging procession depending on how many friends or acquaintances you saw walking toward you. When I moved to Massachusetts, I remember trying to hug someone a few days after resuming school, and they recoiled. Up North, people don't hug, and I learned that very quickly. With a policy like OSU's, I might be considered guilty of sexual harassment.

And if you think I'm blowing this out of proportion, remember Brian Ferguson, the 20-year-old autistic student in Texas who was expelled for hugging a stranger who he thought he recognized as a friend. Ferguson didn't intend to frighten the woman (and it was not her who made the accusation; a school administrator witnessed the hug and filed the report), yet he was still expelled. Thankfully, his expulsion was reversed — but only after his story caught national attention.

With the hypersensitivity to all things sexual on college campuses these days, it's not difficult to imagine a policy such as this — with such a broad definition of what constitutes sexual harassment — to be used against male students who never intended any harm.

OSU's student wellness center takes the sexual harassment policy even further, by creating a ... helpful ... guide to the difference between sexual harassment and flirting. In case you didn't know (these days you can never really know).

"Flirting" makes the "receiver" feel "good, happy, flattered, pretty/attractive and in control." But "sexual harassment" makes the "receiver" feel "bad, angry/sad, demeaned, ugly and powerless."

"Flirting" results in "positive self-esteem," while "sexual harassment" results in "negative self-esteem."

Essentially, a person's feelings dictate whether someone else is a sexual offender — not intent, not proof. A sincerely misread signal can now be considered harassment. Normal human interaction is now harassment if the "receiver" doesn't like you enough.

OSU did not respond to a Washington Examiner request for comment.