When you google “Cauliflower Crust Pizza” you get a whole lot of results and absolutely no naked pictures. What does this mean? Cauliflower Crust Pizza is America’s Sweetheart and it hasn’t decided to move to LA to become a movie star yet and have to do things it regrets to catch a break and pay the rent.

It’s also a pretty cool way to make a low-carb pizza.

But mostly that first point I made.

For my first venture in Cauliflower Crust Pizzas, I made one traditionally shaped pizza and three pizzas that I can only describe as an homage to french bread pizza. I love describing things as homages. It’s classy. I’m classy.

Let’s get started with the Cauliflower Crust Pizzas, k?

First things first: If you don’t want to split this “dough” up, you’ll have a super big pizza. My big pizza is half the recipe, my personal long pizzas are each 1/6th of the recipe.

Cauliflower Crust Pizza Crust

adapted from I Breathe…I’m Hungry

1 large head of cauliflower, cut into florets

4 oz goat cheese

1 egg

dash of the following: salt, pepper, onion powder, and garlic powder

Season your cauliflower with some salt and pepper and roast at 400 degrees for about half an hour. Remove from the oven and microwave for 3 minutes. pulse in a food processor until it becomes rice-like in consistency. Squeeze excess water out by wrapping “rice” in a towel and pressing. In a large bowl, combine the cauliflower “rice” with the goat cheese. Stir in the egg. Add your seasoning. On a parchment paper lined baking sheet, arrange your cauliflower mixture in whatever shape pizza you’d like to make. I kept my crust at about 1/4″ in thickness. Bake at 400 degrees for 30-40 minutes.

Apples and Gouda Smoked Pizza

1/2 fuji apple, sliced thin

2 deli slices of gouda cheese (or an 1 1/2 ounces, shredded)

1 oz shredded smoked dutch style cheese (I don’t actually know what this means but I found it at the grocery store and it tastes good?)

1/4 cup shredded parmesan

dash of ground cinnamon

Tear up your gouda slices and arrange them on your baked cauliflower crust. Set the apple slices on top in a pinwheel shape (works better for cutting). Cover with your shredded smoked cheese. Top with some parmesan and ground cinnamon. Place back in the 400 degree oven for 5-10 minutes or under the broiler for 3-5 minutes. Enjoy!

Goat Cheese and Basil Personal Pizza

1 oz crumbled goat cheese, onion and basil style

some basil leaves

a couple sprinkles of tomato sauce

Greek Personal Pizza

1 oz crumbled feta

1/4 cup artichoke and caper tomato sauce

1/2 oz hot banana pepper rings

Fig and Parmesan Personal Pizza

1 dried black mission fig, sliced thing

3-4 tablespoons shredded parmesan

1/4 cup tomato sauce (I used the artichoke and caper sauce again because duh)