The fund raising organization known as the Anti-Defamation League defamed basketball coaches the world over for their use of “100%”, which is now an official “hate” symbol, and therefore “anti-Semitic”.

Football coaches are exempt from the ADL’s calumny because they always call for giving “110%”.

I do not joke nor jest. It really is true, and beyond all belief, that the fund-raising group has condemned 100% as a hate symbol.

The fund-raising group says that “100%”, which before today you thought was an indicator for all or complete, is instead “shorthand for ‘100% white’ among white supremacists.”

How do we identify “white supremacists”? Well, we’ll come to that.

Meanwhile, let’s go through the fund-raising group’s “Hate on Display&tm; Hate Symbols Database“. Pardon the silly “&tm;”, but it is there in the original, and I wouldn’t want to be sued for ignoring it.

The ADL says about their trademarked list: “This database provides an overview of many of the symbols most frequently used by a variety of white supremacist groups and movements, as well as some other types of hate groups.”

We met 100%, but that isn’t the only number now trademarked as hateful. There is also “12”. Whatever you do, don’t ask for this number of donuts and risk being labeled an “anti-Semite”. Don’t think you can get away with a baker’s dozen, either, because “13” is also hate.

“Why not 14, then Briggs? Which is more donuts for me? Is that okay?”

Sorry, pal. “14” made the list, too. And it isn’t just 12. It’s also 1 and 2. “The number 12 is a numeric symbol for Aryan Brotherhood groups (as are the numbers 1 and 2 separately)…”

“Okay! Got it!”

How dare you use “okay!” It is an obvious “white power symbol”!

14 is not equal to 13, which all mathematicians known. But what they did not know until last week was that the “not equal” symbol is white supremacist. Yes, ≠ is hate.

“18” obviously means “Adolph Hitler” (can’t you see it?), and “28” is ten more than that, so it is “white supremacist”.

I could go on listing all the numbers (“83”, “88”, …), but there’s so many I may come to the total of 43, which is numerologically hateful. “If one substitutes numbers for the letters in [Supreme White Alliance]’s initials (19, 23, 1), then adds those numbers together, the total is 43.”

Let’s move on. To “Anti Antifa” images, which are not anti “anti-Semitic”, but just plain “anti-Semitic”. Being against Antifa is hate because Antifa “are left-wing and anarchist activists who focus on directly confronting white supremacists”, and who could be against that?

Boots with laces are now hate because “Racist skinheads prefer wearing steel-toed workboots,” which so do construction workers, many of whom are white, and therefore under suspicion of white supremacy.

“Bowlcuts” you heard about on the mainstream news. Which means Moe is a hater. After all, how many times did he poke his brother in the eye?

The Confederate Flag is hate times two, and has to go. To all progressives, the past must become the future. Parts of the past that do not conform to modern insights, therefore did not happen.

Fasces is hate. It is true that “Fasces are an ancient Roman symbol for authority”, a symbold which the fund-raising ADL says has been co-opted by both Mussolini and white supremacists. But also, apparently to their ignorance, has the United States Government. For instance on the old Mercury Dime. And currently in an enormous bas-relief behind the Speaker’s rostrum in the House of Representatives. Which must mean Nancy Pelosi is an “anti-Semitic” white supremacist.

Pictures of German soldiers are white supremacist. There goes The History Channel.

“It’s Okay To Be White” is obviously hateful, because it’s most certainly not okay to be white.

“‘Muh Holocaust’ is an anti-Semitic phrase popular with the alt right used to convey the bigoted notion that Jews routinely bring up the Holocaust to gain attention or to deflect negative attention.” Which certainly won’t happen in the comments.

The biggest self-own is—are you ready? drum roll please—hate. Yes, hate, the word hate, is now a symbol of hate. You can’t use hate without being a hater and (of course) a white supremacist.

It is common for white supremacists to deny being racists or to claim to that the groups to which they belong are not hate groups, but in fact the word “hate” itself is commonly used as a white supremacist symbol for tattoos and clothing. Many white supremacists use the word to openly proclaim their hatred of people unlike them.

A white who shows any emotion while denying he is a white supremacist is displaying white fragility, which is proof he is a white supremacist.

“White supremacy” to the small extent it is real in part advocates for whites to have their own homeland constructed on racial grounds, an idea which the fund-raising ADL decries. Thus, to be consistent, which I’m sure they will be, they would not support, and would indeed condemn, all other racial groups which seek to have their own homelands constructed on racial grounds. Right?

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