And thus we begin the very unfortunate tale of Mr. Chester Cheetah, new man on the block, where he begins life anew in the blossoming town of Sunset Valley. In an attempt to start his life over after the horrific accident of losing his mother, who was a gnome, in the great Gnomicide of 2009, Chester has moved to a new town for a new start so that he may carry on the life that his mother once wished him to have.

Unfortunately, the only lot that the Realtor would willingly sell to Mr. Cheetah was on the outskirts of town because of his horrendous face.

It just so happened to be right next to the town dump.

Chester: I’m never gonna bring home bitches with a dump next door…

Never fear, however, my dear Chester! We have many new adventures to go on and I’m sure once you have hit it big, we will be living in the most luxurious mansion in all of Sunset Valley.

I’m more worried about how we are going to get rid of that horrendous nose…

Chester: Hey!!

Sorry, sorry… I’m sure that blue skin will be much more of a problem. Anyhow, it’s always been my goal to keep my sims happy, so I will try my best to answer to as many wishes as I can that Chester has throughout this tale, and his first wish was to join the criminal career track to avenge the death of his mother… Not much of a patient man are we?

And so Chester ran (I’m surprised he can move that body of his in such a way) all the way across town to the fields full of booze, murder, and revenge and signed up to become Sunset Valley’s next top criminal.

Chester is a lover of the outdoors, which is surprising because with a face like that you would think he would want to stay inside to hide his shame. His next plan was to spend the rest of the morning fishing to gain some new skill and possibly a new friend.

Chester showed a natural talent at this activity as he immediately caught his first little minnow. How cute!

Chester: Ahhhhh yes, a new friend… You shall enjoy being my companion very much.

Chester: Very… very much…

Oh dear.. With the sun high above his head, Chester fished well into the mid afternoon when his stomach started to growl. Noticing a flyer for a grill-off in the town park, Chester rushed off to grab a bite to eat and possibly introduce himself to the people of Sunset Valley.

Upon entering the park, Chester was immediately greeted with stares and he decided to take a stab at introducing himself to the nearest person who happened to be Gunther Goth.

As Chester walked up to the man, I could already tell that he was uncomfortable and this was going to be interesting.

Gunther: What the hell is that thing?

Chester shook hands with the man and immediately began to compliment his appearance in order to woo the man into being his new friend.

Chester: Your hat is magnificent, I can imagine it feels as silkily smooth as the luscious skin upon your cheeks.

Gunther: What the fuck dude.

Chester quickly learned that Gunther was about as bipolar as a mood ring and every little thing set him off. He discovered that Gunther was a grump, much like Chester himself and they seemed to enjoy arguing with one another and plotting each others deaths.

Gunther: So what, was your mama a smurf or something?

Chester: Smurfs are light blue. She was a gnome, you uncultured swine!

Despite the hateful relationship these two were developing, Chester’s eyes laid upon the most beautiful sight across Gunther’s shoulders. There she stood, 5’7, black pig tails, beautiful tan normal people colored skin and dark eyes. Chester watched as she sat down at the picnic cloth and began to have a sandwich. He shoved Gunther out of the way and quickly sat down to join her for a chat. His heart beat quickly in his chest.

The woman was a little unsure of his approach, but he began to smile and stare at her as she ate and she decided making eye contact was not the best thing to do, so she focused on a flower in the grass instead. Chester took this opportunity to admire the soft glow the setting sun laid upon her skin. Oh how he wished to run his puckered blue lips upon the crook of her elbow…

Chester: M-my… my name is C-chester. Chester Ch-Cheetah.

She stared at him with a blank face, saying nothing. She stood. She walked away.

Chester: I think I am in love…

Hold up there, big boy. We don’t even know her name and this is your first day on the prowl. There are plenty of smokin’ babes out there. Let’s take our time.

Chester: I WANT HER!!

Whoa! Okay! Take it easy… sheesh. Weren’t you starving when we came here? Might as well help yourself to a post-introduction sandwich. Maybe a full stomach will help your approach.

Chester: Nothing better than eating other people’s food!

You betcha, now there she is across the park eating some more food. Why don’t you go approach her now?

Chester left the picnic blanket with a trail of crumbs and a happy belly as he made his way over to the table where his newfound love was sitting. As he approached, he watched as her eyes grew larger and larger in fear. He casually turned his head, pretending not to notice.

Chester: M-may I?

Flustered, Chester quickly sat down opposite of her and she immediately began to choke on the food she had been eating in astonishment.

Chester was pleased. He made her swoon by simply his looks and she lost control of her basic bodily functions to swallow food. He knew then and there that their chemistry was aflame and that now was the time to get to know her.

She immediately sprung up from her seat to get away, but he was too quick and grabbed her hand and shook, politely waiting for a name.

Chester: And your name is, beautiful?

Pauline Wan. Her name is Pauline Wan and I am afraid she has been thrown into the disaster that is Chester’s life and she has no idea what may be in store for her.

Fortunately, at this moment, Chester realized his need to pee was overwhelming and he had to stop talking to Pauline, the girl of his dreams, to run to the park bathroom.

Chester: Stay right there! I’ll be right back!

Chester furiously ran up the stairs and went to the bathroom, leaving Pauline alone. She was unsure of this strange blue man and caught interest in another young hunk of love at the park.

Try as he might, no matter how fast Chester ran, when he arrived back to the table, Pauline had vanished.

Low on money, heart broken from his true love, and barely managing to keep his eyes open from the day’s exhaustion, Chester decided the best thing to do would be to drown his sorrows in the remaining food that Pauline had left on the table and head home to dream of happier times.

Chester only had 1,000 simoleons to his name upon arriving to his lot, so he had to make due and only buy the necessities. Which also happened to include an end table with his prized gnome his mother had made for him as a small boy, his alarm clock, and an expensive Egyptian cotton black camel fur rug. Chester was very lucky that he enjoyed the great outdoors, so sleeping without four walls to protect him at the moment does not disturb him in the slightest. However, if he ever wants to get on with creating a family and such, he is going to have to try a lot harder.

Climbing into bed in his fashionable attire, Chester began to wonder what may have happened if Pauline had waited.

He tried hard not to cry as he closed his eyes and began to drift off into sleep. A dream filled land began to fog his mind, one full of Pauline’s wondrous boobies, free ice cream after dinner, and the ceasing of his inevitable life loneliness.

To be continued. ☺