Swiss Prisoners Are the Best Prisoners in the World Because They're All High

Vices

A recent Swiss study published in the International Journal of Drug Policy suggests that marijuana use by prison inmates and guards could lead to more peaceful conditions in the can.

You know, it is actually much harder to fashion shank out of a hand-sharpened comb and attack an unsuspecting guard when you’re too high to move, now that we think about it. Here’s what the Swiss study concluded.

Participants showed similar opinions on effects of cannabis use that were described both at individual and institutional levels: analgesic, calming, self-help to go through the prison experience, relieve stress, facilitate sleep, prevent violence, and social pacifier.

The study also found that about 50% of guards and a whopping 80% of prisoners smoke weed behind bars. Marijuana is officially illegal in Switzerland. But, because use is so widespread, and prison conditions seem to be relatively peaceful when drug laws aren’t strictly enforced, many guards admit to turning a blind, (albeit droopy and bloodshot) eye when it came prisoner’s marijuana use.

(Pretend Jeff Daniels is in prison)

A similar study of marijuana use in the slammer conducted in Denmark found that prison guards were mostly lax about marijuana use by prisoners because,

Many inmates have smoked cannabis for several years before they were imprisoned. They often smoke as a way of dealing with personal problems. If the guards take away their weed, they become restless and it could result in trouble...If they see inmates who suffer from personal problems such as loneliness sitting there in their cell smoking weed, they understand why they need it. They may then just tell them to shut the door because it smells of weed,

said Torsten Kolind, the anthropologist who conducted the Danish study. Moral of the story; if you have to break the law, do it in Denmark or Switzerland.

What do you think of weed behind bars? Tell us everything.