Shortly after the post was published, user u/phoenixwang commented to lament Kage’s financial woes, claiming that they were caused by his need to send money to an ex-girlfriend and child in New Jersey. It soon rocketed to the top of the thread, eliciting sympathetic responses and garnering dozens of upvotes. With the approval of the community, many—including this writer—took the comment seriously.

It was a sad tale, a story filled with pathos and injustice. After all, Kage has been a Melee legend ever since he famously double-eliminated Joseph “Mang0” Marquez at Revival of Melee 2. Surely he deserves better than an existence darkened by financial struggles and a distant child.

Here’s the thing: as related on the Christmas episode of the Bad Melee podcast, not a word of the story is true. It’s a hoax that, by virtue of its that-might-be-true believability, gained steam and has fooled many in the months since its creation.

That said, everyone should support Kage regardless of his parental status. He’s one of the last beacons of hope for a Smash character not quite like any other, and he’s experienced a resurgence in the past year: after falling to a career-low 70th spot on the 2016 edition of SSBMRank, he jumped back into the top 50 this year, reaching the 46th spot on the 2017 SSBMRank on the strength of impressive wins over top players such as Daniel “ChuDat” Rodriguez and Hugo “HugS” Gonzalez.

But let the record be clear: Kage doesn’t have a kid.