There was a little hashtag game going around on Twitter with people suggesting New Ways to Leave Your Lover #NewWaysToLeaveYourLover following the theme of Paul Simon’s 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

Here’s my version of the song based on my favourites and some new ones I’ve added. There’s still not 50 here but then again there weren’t in Paul Simon’s song!

The problem is all inside your head

She Skyped to me

The answer is easy if you

Take it logically

I’d like to help you with your struggle

To be free

There must be 50 new ways

To leave your lover



She texted it’s really not my habit

To intrude

“LOLs”, I hope my meaning

Won’t be lost or misconstrued

So I’ll Re-Tweet myself

At the risk of being crude

There must be 50 new ways

To leave your lover

Fifty new ways to leave your lover

Don’t Poke her back, Jack

Send her mail to spam, Sam

@Anonymous-ly destroy, Roy

Just get yourself free

Uncircle on Google+, Gus

You don’t need to discuss much

Trash her crafts on Etsy, Betsy

And get yourself free

Send her a virus, Cyrus

Make a new meme, Kareem

Don’t do a Pin, Glynn

Just get yourself free

Uncircle on Google+, Gus

You don’t need to discuss much

Take her off Fancy, Clancy

And get yourself free



She pinged, it grieves me so

To see you in such pain

I wish there was a LOL cat that

Would make you smile again

I said “plus one” that

And would you please explain

About the 50 new ways



She BBM'ed why don’t we both

Just sleep on it tonight

And I believe in the morning

You’ll begin to see the light

And she liked my status

And I realised she probably was right

There must be fifty new ways

To leave your lover

Fifty new ways to leave your lover

Put her stuff on eBay, Ray

Trash her new iPad, Brad

Change her LinkedIn pic, Nick

Just get yourself free

Uncircle on Google+, Gus

You don’t need to discuss much

Pop it on PasteBin, Lynne

And get yourself free

Call her a Noob, Rube

Send her snail mail, Dale

Ignore her on Foursquare, Blair

Just get yourself free

Uncircle on Google+, Gus

You don’t need to discuss much

Have a cry with Spotify, Cy

And get yourself free

Put out a YouTube vid, Sid

Delete her on Instagram, Stan

Sign up for match dot com, Tom

Just get yourself free

Uncircle on Google+, Gus

You don’t need to discuss much

Just use a hashtag, Dag

And get yourself free

Post unflattering pics, Rick

Hack her new site, Mike

Send her a Rick Roll, Joel

Just get yourself free

Uncircle on Google+, Gus

You don’t need to discuss much

Just send a Tweet, Pete

And get yourself free

by Mecca Ibrahim

With thanks to Tweets from @AnnieMole @Batemanimation @DragonLensman @enstephalitis @Jemimah_knight @suttnutz @taradublinrocks @TP_313 and @WoodyBenny