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Here's my idea for an 'I Love Lucy' episode about #GamerGate

The episode is about a big indie game developer competition. The indie developer whose game wins first prize gets a part in Ricky's show. So Lucy decides that she wants to make a game to enter the competition.



Ricky: "Lucy, I don't want you entering that indie game competition."



Lucy: "But Ricky, I want to be in the show."



Ricky: "I'm sorry, Lucy, but it's too dangerous. Sun*Storm and his gang of white male gamers said that if any feminazi gamer girls enter a game into the competition, their noses will be bitten off and they will be raped where their noses used to be."



Lucy: "Waaaah!"



Ricky: "You heard me, Lucy, and I don't want you and Ethel cookin' up any crazy schemes to get into the competition."



*Ricky leaves to go rehearse at the club*



Ethel: "Gee, that stinks, Lucy. Oh well. Maybe you can be in Ricky's show next."



Lucy: "We don't have to wait until next year. Come on, Ethel. We've got a game to make."



Ethel: "But Lucy, you heard what Ricky said. Besides, Sun*Storm and his gang have already doxed several feminazi gamer girls. Their information is all over Twitstagrammer."



Lucy: "Don't worry about Ricky or Sun*Storm, Ethel. I've got a plan."



Ethel: "I don't like the sound of this."



*So Lucy and Ethel make a game called Valkyrie Marines. You can play it however you want. You can be violent or peaceful, have a matriarchy or a patriarchy, but mostly you just go around hammering posts into the ground. Kotaku said it's better than Star Fox 64 with the Rumble Pack controller expansion. Then Lucy and Ethel put on fake mustaches and enter the indie competition disguised as male developers.*



*We now cut to the day of the competition, and a judge is walking around looking at all the games.*



Game Judge: "Valkyrie Marines, huh? Why this is one of the best games I've seen in years. I think you fellows might just win first prize."



Ethel: "Did you hear that, Lucy? He said we might win first prize!"



Game Judge: "Pardon me, sir, but did he just call you Lucy?"



Lucy: (Doing fake deep voice) "Uh... No. He said Loosey. That was my nickname in high school because I was always getting my teeth knocked loose from playing contact sports all the time."



Game Judge: "Ah... of course. Us men do love sports. Who's your favorite sports competitor?"



Lucy: (Still doing deep voice) "Uh... you know... I kind of like 'em all."



Game Judge: "Yes, it's difficult to choose just one, isn't it? Very good, then. Carry on, gentleman."



*The judge leaves*



Lucy: "Phew. That was a close one. What's wrong with you, Ethel? Do you want us to get us raped where our noses used to be?"



Ethel: "Sorry, I just..."



*Suddenly the lights go out, and a loud scary voice comes over the intercom.*



Scary Voice: "THIS IS SUN*STORM AND HIS GANG OF WHITE MALES. IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION THAT THERE ARE FEMINAZI GAMER GIRLS PARTICIPATING IN THIS COMPETITION. YOU LEAVE US NO CHOICE. WE WILL NOW RELEASE THE DICK WOLVES."



*The lights come back on, and a pack of blood thirsty dick wolves have been released in the building.*



Ethel: "What are we going to do, Lucy? Those dick wolves have been trained to sniff out vaginas."



Lucy: "Don't worry, Ethel. I've got a plan. Here, stick this cheese in your vagina."



Ethel: "In my vagina? Are you crazy!?"



Lucy: "Just do it. The cheese will throw off the dick wolves' scent."



*So Lucy and Ethel quickly shove a bunch of cheese up their vaginas."



Ethel: "I don't think it's working, Lucy. The dick wolves are circling us."



Scary Voice: "THIS IS SUN*STORM AND HIS GANG AGAIN. OUR DICK WOLVES HAVE BEEN TRAINED TO SNIFF OUT EVEN THE CHEESIEST VAGINAS. PREPARE TO DIE, FEMINAZI GAMER GIRLS!"



*Just then celebrity guest star, Ice T, kicks the door in and shoots all the dick wolves.*



Ice T: (Looking down at one of the dick wolves as it's dying) "Ain't no health potions in the real world, Playa. (Shoots the dick wolf in the head)



Lucy & Eltha: "Thank you, Ice T!"



Ice T: "No problem, ladies, but now I have to go after Sun*Storm and his gang. They think this is a game, but there ain't no cheat codes in the real world, Playa."



Head of Security: "I saw them going up on the roof earlier, but I didn't think to stop them due to my incompetents."



Ice T: "I'm on it. They think they can hide out on the roof, but there ain't no secret levels in the real world, Playa."



*Ice T goes up on the roof and is able to take out all of Sun*Storm's gang in a gun fight.*



Ice T: "It's just you and me now, Sun*Storm. Your gang thought they could take me down, but there ain't no power up packs in the real world, Playa. Now give up or I'll blow your head off."



Sun*Storm: "You don't scare me, Ice T. Unlike you, I don't know the difference between video games and the real world."



*Sun*Storm goes to shoot Ice T and Ice T blows his head off.*



Ethel: "Gee, Lucy, I guess everything worked out after all."



Game Judge: "Not so fast, ladies. You two entered this competition using fake identities, and therefor must be disqualified, I'm afraid."



Lucy: "Disqualified?! You can't do that. I was going to get to be in Ricky's show."



*Ricky walks up laughing*



Ricky: "Hah hah hah"



Lucy: "Ricky! What's so funny?"



Ricky: "I thought you girls might try something like this, so I set this whole thing up to learn you girls a lesson."



Lucy: "But how did you get Ice T to help you?"



Ricky: "That's not Ice T. That's just Fred in black face."



Fred: "We really got 'em good, huh, Rick?"



Lucy: "But what about Sun*Storm and his gang of white male gamers?"



Ricky: "Those were just my drummers from the club."



Lucy: "Waaaah!"



*THE END*

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