I have missed you all. I'm glad to be back. I offer no excuses. I have been away but always writing. I hope my next absence with not be as long. As always, I thank my Beta, my Avatar Artist and all my consistently amazing followers. You haven't given up on me and for those who did, well...I can't say I blame you. But I'm here and I haven't quit yet.

This chapter is for mature audiences. You've been warned.

*Cracks Knuckles* Here we go...

"Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust."

-John Webster

Elsa had only run this fast one other time in her life: the night she fled her castle to escape the frightened eyes of her coronation guests. She remembered it distinctly now; the rushing scenery, the smell of pine and oak trees, the crackle of ice beneath her feet as she skipped across the fjord in a mad dash for freedom, safety and seclusion. This sprint was similar, only now it was within the warmth of her castle. She smelled paint, sealing wax, oil-fumes and pastries in the kitchen. She heard the hammering of nails and the sudden thud of timbers being laid against walls. She saw faces, some worrisome, some busy and others disinterested. But all these senses were absorbed and pushed aside, even as they guided the queen, not away from her people, but faster and faster towards her sister. Towards her Anna.

Around another bend, through a pair of double doors with a pair of perplexed men standing guard, past the row of apartments meant for her aunt and uncle. She was vaguely aware of lights within their rooms. Perhaps they were preparing for supper, perhaps they were simply relaxing and reading by firelight as the winter night quickly enveloped the castle. Either way, Elsa was surprised at how little momentum she lost as she sped past their doors. Her legs kept her on a disciplined curve, using the inertia of her turns and leans to accelerate her out and away from further distractions. She had places to be.

The blast of cold air which smacked her in the face was bracing, to say the least. She'd snuck out a side door so as to avoid the palace guard nearest the eastern courtyard, but the wind was just as wild and strong. The queen flexed her 'muscles', attempting to calm the storm, but her actions seemed to only increase the gale. She relinquished her efforts and began walking towards the barn-like forge shed, keeping her footsteps broad and deliberate as she marched in hip-deep snow. Behind her, to the northwest, the sun barely peaked above the horizon, causing the falling flakes to flare up like orange flower petals for the blink of an eye. But soon the clouds overtook the light again, smothering the kingdom in a growing haze of white and gray. Elsa looked over her shoulder for a moment as she reached the entrance to the forge and, finding no one pursuing her or standing in her way, she pushed the door open and slipped inside.

The warmth was welcome but fleeting in its comfort. As the queen shuffled through the switchback of overlapping walkways, she could hear the distinct sound of a saw slicing through wood. Anna was only a few yards away, working diligently on her spear. In a few seconds, Elsa would be upon her, able to speak to her in private for the first time in almost a week.

So why were Elsa's footsteps so hesitant?

It seemed endless, this slow trudge to the main threshold of the forge. Her bravery had not ebbed, but her body was suddenly flickering with anxiety. It made the muscles in her body twitch involuntarily, leading to troublesome spasms of frost appearing on the walls around her. She wrangled herself in, but it wasn't making her journey any easier…just more expectant of something going wrong.

The forge didn't look much different from the last time she had visited. The coal store in the corner of the room seemed somewhat depleted, but the same two fires burned as they had before. Both were far less powerful, owing to a lack of fuel, but they were still smoldering with considerable heat. In the opposite corner of the room, a makeshift bed was set up. Two large bales of cotton were covered in furs and loose sheets, looking like a strange alter layered in animal offerings. A pair of large boots sat beside it, as well as a change of men's clothing and a cloak, neatly folded. Upon the nearest anvil, a tray of dishes and silverware sat, clean and tidy but clearly used.

"I think Elgar has been sleeping in here," Anna said to one side. "It would explain the on-the-go cot he's built for himself."

Elsa actually gasped at the sound of Anna's voice. She looked to her immediate left and beheld her sister, saw still in hand. She worked the tool up and down, her strokes uneven and staggered as the teeth of the tool occasionally bound themselves in the wood. She had a leg-up on a work-bench, leaning against the spear-shaft with her bodyweight. She was more successful when pulling the saw towards her, but when pushing down, she couldn't make much headway.

Elsa held her ground, despite her initial surprise.

She didn't seem surprised to see Elsa. More indifferent than anything else. Elsa could tell that she was concentrating on her work and that she was struggling with the saw-blade (which of course, she wouldn't admit). But that look wasn't one of a loving sister. It was one of a woman tired, frustrated and withdrawn. The little glint of excitement and apprehension she'd witnessed earlier in the armory was gone. Now, the princess seemed all business. Even her training garments were less formally worn upon her slender body. The binding material at her wrists and ankles had been loosened, allowing the princess to cover her body more comfortably. She seemed to be wearing a very conservative set of working clothes now, designed to be functional and breathable. She was not dressed to impress, she was dressed to work.

Anna must have read the queens mind. She let the edge leave her voice in a sullen sigh, before returning to the saw blade. "I won't be long here. If you needed something, I'll be out of your hair soon."

Elsa was off-put but tried to hide it, shaking her head slightly. "Oh no no, I…I'm not here for anything else. You don't need to hurry."

Anna looked up for a second, then back down at her work. "What did you come for then?"

The queen gathered her words carefully. "I would think that was obvious; to see you."

Anna halted long enough to take a deep breath before continuing to saw. The sound of the blade moving through the dense wood was irregular and dissonant, much like the atmosphere between the two women. Elsa wanted to assist the princess with her work, to see it if it would go more smoothly. Anna wanted no assistance and was content to let the sawing take as long as it would, no matter how haphazard and inconsistent it was.

Elsa came around to the other side of one of the anvils. The physical barrier between her and the princess seemed to loosen her tongue more. Anna seemed to notice this, but refused to look up from her staff of partially-cut wood.

"Anna, I wanted to apologize," Elsa began, leaning forward a bit on the slab of stone. "What happened in the ballroom, I…I wasn't trying to hide things from you. Not intentionally. I did talk to Kristoff just after we left the Promenade, yes, that's correct. But what we discussed had much more to do with the two of us than anything else. He had a grievance which he brought to my attention. It wasn't a pleasant conversation, but it ended peacefully…sort of. We went our separate ways and really haven't spoken since. He may still be cross with me, in a way, but I don't blame him."

Anna continued to saw. Elsa waited a few moments before continuing.

"I just want you to know that I'm not keeping things from you in some intentional way," she said, twisting her hands slightly. "Sometimes…sometimes I have things to deal with on my own. If at some point something were to happen to me, and you were to become Queen, YOU would suddenly be burdened with many, many responsibilities that would be wholly your own. You would need to make decisions weighed by benefits and detriments to your people, need to facilitate the whims of those whom you detest and scorn, simply because it leads to a mutual understanding or agreement of how they might conduct themselves around you. It's exhausting. I know you understand much of this already, but I'm telling you this so you don't take it personally, won't be offended, when I can't share things with you as openly as you like..."

SSCHHHLOPPP! BUMP…bump…bop…bop…

The staff was sawed-through. The hollow thump of the wood upon the stone floor acted as an awkward punctuation to the Queen's sentence, causing her mind to momentary go blank. She coughed softly, watching the wood roll across the ground as Anna removed herself from the work bench.

"Is there anything else?" Anna asked, flat as a board.

Elsa seemed unprepared for that answer. It wasn't an impolite response, but it was far more direct and cutting than expected.

"Well, I…I'd hope you'd accept my apology," Elsa said, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "That you'd understand where I'm coming from, that you wouldn't hold it against me that I have a few issues that are personal and remain as such…"

Anna took her spear and righted it in her hand. The head of the weapon sat four inches closer to the floor, pointing menacingly towards the ceiling. The princess tapped the ground, noticing that her cut had been somewhat angular and uneven. It annoyed her slightly, but she seemed content that the length of the weapon was more manageable now. She reached towards the workbench again and grabbed a rasping file, laying the spear back down with the blunt end pointed towards the queen.

"Anna?" Elsa said.

"You know…I think I get it," Anna said, applying the rasp to the end of the staff and slowly grinding way her irregular saw-mark. "I think I understand why Elgar carries his spear with him wherever he goes. It's actually really simplistic."

Elsa pulled back her head, opening her ears a little more. "How do you mean?"

The princess didn't look up as she spoke. "I feel…enabled, when I carry this thing. I feel powerful. I've had it for only a couple of hours but even so, I feel so much more in control when I have this thing in my hand. I bet that's how Elgar feels, sometimes…or maybe most times, I don't know. He's cocky and strong and has a voice that can split stone, but I bet that spear of his makes him that much more arrogant. Why wouldn't it? This weapon is capable of so much in the right hands. You can fight, conquer, defend, all because of a meticulously crafted tool. Maybe it's fleeting, maybe that sense of control is a fallacy and it doesn't really amount to much…but I understand why that feeling is desirable. I do."

Elsa collected herself, as if to understand where Anna was going with this. "Anna I'm not sure what this has to do with what I said to you—"

"Do you know why I've not come to you over the last several days?" Anna asked. "Why I haven't sought you out?"

Elsa folded her hands. "That isn't what I've come here to discuss."

"No…you offered me an apology," Anna said, rasping away. "A very sweet and well-articulated one, which you want me to accept."

"Yes."

The princess stopped her work, finally looking toward the queen with dull, tired eyes. "Why do you feel the need to apologize, Elsa? Are you really sorry for something or do just want to mend fences with me?"

"Well…both, I suppose," Elsa said, blinking away her confusion. "That's why I came here."

"Then please answer my question," Anna said, a little bit more forcefully, with just the smallest hint of sadness behind her eyes. "Do you know—or care—about why I haven't spoken to you in days?"

Elsa took in a frustrated breath. "Of course I care! As to WHY…NO, I don't know exactly why you've been avoiding me. I can make an educated guess, but that's all it would be: a guess."

Anna nodded her head slowly, keeping her mouth steady and her tone even. "I saw you, Elsa. From a distance. Saw your face, the way you walked. How you kept your door open for me. I saw you fall asleep upright in bed, waiting for something…waiting for me, I guess. There were so many times that I wanted to go to you, to be at your side. So many times, I felt myself drawn to your room, to your voice, to your…arms. I fell asleep craving your company almost every night, to the point where I saw you in front of me just as I woke up, as if you'd been hovering over me as I lay in bed…"

The single tear she shed was angry. Elsa saw it, holding back her own tears of sadness and frustration.

"…but I couldn't," Anna said, returning to her work, speaking angrily into the ground, as if she were talking to her spear. "I couldn't relinquish so much control again. I know you aren't wicked or even mean-spirited, but I felt…I felt like if I actually came to you, it would be because I was admitting to that loss of control. That I was deciding 'Yes, fine…you can keep your secrets, sister dear. Doesn't matter that we're closer than ever, doesn't matter how I feel about it or how frightened it makes me to know that you're still hiding part of who you are from me, I just need to be with you, no matter how it makes me feel.'"

She stopped her rasping for a moment, much to Elsa's seeming relief, to catch her breath. "I thought 'Maybe, if I give it some time, it'll hurt less. Maybe I can take a few weeks and just detach, you know? Reassert myself in something that I DO have some control over. Not TOTAL control, just…some. When I train, when I learn how to defend myself, I have some control. I have some control over my body, my mind, and my actions. I can keep myself safe, defend my person, my home, my sis…my queen. Even if I have no say in what I feel or what my heart wants, at least here, at least with THIS, I have some say. I can speak my mind and not be told 'don't worry about it, it doesn't concern you', just because I'm a princess. HERE, I don't need defending; I'M the one doing the defending.'"

Elsa held her sides, biting her tongue as he sister continued.

"I knew I shouldn't have spoken so candidly with Rapunzel," Anna admitted, the rasp again scraping away at the wood. "You spoke with Kristoff the night of the promenade? Well, it seems like you weren't the only one getting raked over the coals that night. Never saw it coming. And I knew it would be painful to be totally honest with someone. But in a way, I'm glad it happened. I'm glad that at least SOMEONE heard me, saw me, as raw and throbbing as I could be. It was so exhausting, but now that it was over with…I was calm. Or closer to it, at least, than I had been before. Other parts of that evening contributed to that, I'm sure, but there was moment of peace to it all. Real, true, peace."

Elsa reached forward subconsciously, before retracting her hand and laying it on her chest. "What did…I mean, Rapunzel told you something? Or you told her something…?"

Anna looked up sharply, an angry, sad smile upon her face. "Oh, you have QUESTIONS about our conversation, do you, my queen? You want to know the details about a private, vulnerable moment in my life?"

Elsa saw the correlation and it sickened her, but she held strong. "You don't need to be snide, Anna. I was merely inquiring about what you discussed. If you refuse to tell me out of spite, I suppose that is your prerogative."

"Is THAT why you do it?" Anna said, jumping back in again. "You keep things from me out of spite? Is that it?"

"Of course not! I have things that are private, that I don't share with anybody!"

"And round and round it goes," Anna said, twirling a finger. "This double-standard thing is getting old, you know that? I am so tired of the hierarchy excuse that sometimes, I wish we were poor. That we were common and simple, that we might avail ourselves total transparency. The alternative seems so backward that it infuriates me!"

"We are NOT common citizens, Anna!" Elsa said, jabbing her own finger outward. "We are royalty, and as such, we are beset by duty and a need to conform to certain behaviors! It feels like we've had this conversation already. We support one another, we are there for one another, yes, but there are certain moments when discretion and secrecy are necessary. More to the point, we…we have a certain relationship with one another. I am queen, yes, but I am also your sister, your older sibling. A certain responsibility comes with that title as well. As my little sister, you should know—!"

SLAM!

Anna jabbed the butt of her spear into the floor, the force kicking up dust and shaking the very rafters above the pair of flustered women.

"I am NOT LITTLE!" Anna declared angrily, baring her teeth and holding her spear high. "I am your sister, your friend and the princess to your queen…but I am not little! Not a baby! Not a CHILD! NOT! ANY! MORE!"

She punctuated the last four words with four additional bangs from the butt of her spear. The effect was hammer-like, silencing the room like a court before a judge.

Elsa was astounded at the ferocity in her sister. A pick-axe swung from the post on which it hung, the squeaking wood not unlike a nail being drawn across a chalk-board. The woman seemed to be itching for some kind of a fight, even if she was unwilling to throw the first punch. The static between them made the air smell of ozone, drowning out the prevailing odor of charcoal and wood-fire.

"I know you're not a little girl anymore," Elsa said quietly, her own anger held in check that she might diffuse the situation. "You're a young woman. I respect your age and your station. I always have."

"You say that," Anna said, choking the words past her frustrated, saddened eyes. "Yet you don't seem to trust me. Or you can't, not fully…"

"Of course I trust you! Why do you conflate the keeping of my private affairs private with not trusting you?!" Elsa demanded.

"They're not all about you, though, are they?" Anna said, her fingers shaking with restrained grief, causing the spear to rattle in her hand. "Suddenly they're about Elgar, or Kristoff or Mama and Papa or…or…me…"

Elsa's body betrayed her. She backed away half a step and Anna, sharp as a flint, caught it the moment it happened.

"Ah! See? I was right!" she pointed with her free hand. "That recoil, I SAW that! Your private affairs might be private, but they don't concern only you, do they? Do they?!"

Elsa clutched at her neck, as if something were constricting her windpipe. "Anna this is ridiculous…!"

"Is it?!" Anna said, raising her voice. "How many of your 'private matters' concern your problems with other people? How many of them are about ME?"

Elsa felt the tell-tale dip in her peripheral senses that signaled the onset of stress-induced fatigue. She'd felt it days ago when being interrogated by Kristoff, her mind and body seemingly unharmed, yet she still felt as though she we being driven into the ground like a tent-pole. Elsa feared that she might have another moment where she collapsed in front of someone she cared for, except now, that person could make or break her with a word.

"It's true, isn't it?!" Anna said, her own anger and exasperation bubbling over slightly. "You think things about me, about your opinions or disapprovals of what I've done or what WE'VE done or…or heaven knows what else, don't you?"

Elsa did what she could to steady her breathing, but her mind rushed her like a cloud of ash. It blinded and bound and suffocated her tongue, to the point where she couldn't speak.

Anna did a curious thing then. She sobbed in her hands, allowing the great spear in her grip to fall to the floor of the forge. The wood banged hollowly, bouncing once and slapping the impressive blade against the dirty stone with a harsh clang. It shocked the queen almost a full step backward, her own grief momentarily shoved aside as she beheld the reaction of her sister.

"Fine!" Anna said, wiping furiously at her eyes as she failed to conceal her broken, wounded voice. "You win! I can't…I WON'T force you to tell me things that you don't want to! Keeping things secret is so important to you? So be it! But I'm so angry I can't even SEE straight right now! I don't have it in me to accept your apology right now, I'm sorry, but I don't!"

Elsa waited for further fallout, her own hands quivering beneath her chin at the sight of her weeping sister.

"But I won't stand here and guilt you with my tears, either…" Anna said, regaining a little control. "So I'll go. I won't be a burden on you, I won't make you watch me like this. I'll go…I'll go…"

The princess gathered her things. Her mind was wretched soup of sadness, anger and exhaustion. No matter what she seemed to do, no matter what she said or felt or hoped, she couldn't reach her sister this way. It was a circular punishment, to be kept running round and round and making no headway, but it was one she had visited upon herself, it seemed. Though she tried to keep her eyes from welling up, her hands were too busy picking up loose clothing and her spear to attend her trickling tears. It made the whole endeavor a miserable mosaic of color before her eyes, to the point where she moved and walked more on instinct than anything else. It was like trying to swim through a sea of stained glass.

Out of the corner of one eye, she saw Elsa, scared and dejected, reach towards her. "Anna, please, don't! Don't go like this!"

Though Elsa hadn't touched her, the princess pulled away before her hand could reach her arm. It caused Elsa to whimper, ever so slightly, but it didn't keep Anna from looking back at her queen with a vicious, despondent glare.

"I don't need COMFORT right now, Elsa!" she said, the sound of her own voice causing her to hang her head for a few cringingly unpleasant moments. Her voice was lower, dragging and defeated when she spoke up next, unable to look the queen in the eye as she admitted "I need something that you…can't give me, I guess. Or won't. I don't need comfort. I need…I need…"

Elsa waited, her hand covering her mouth. The tumultuous tumble within her breast had slowed, partially relieved by the fact that Anna seemed ready to leave the subject where it was. Another part felt stung by the blatant rejection the princess had given her, pushing Elsa away like some undesirable malignance.

Anna sighed, in defeat or weariness or some other draining realization. Whatever it was, it only made her feel heavier with her situation, providing no comfort or reprieve.

"I need more," she said, turning her back. "I might not have earned it. But I need it. I need…more."

She couldn't even fully hoist the spear up from the ground. As she turned to leave the forge, the butt of the weapon dragged across the floor, the few articles of her training-gear lazily slung over her shoulder. She felt like she was retreating, backing down and admitting defeat in some way. But what more could she do? What more could she say? Even as she approached the threshold of the forge-works, she was at a loss as to what other options she had…but to leave.

SCCCHHLLLAAAAAACCKKK! CRICKCRICK…CrickCrick…crickcrick…

Anna halted in her tracks. Her nose was within an inch of a solid wall of blue-green ice. Steam tumbled down the side as the heat of the forge attempted to melt the barrier, but it seemed insufficient to topple the structure. It filled the door-frame, pressing into the wooden brace and out into the corridor, sitting like an eight-foot plug in a man-sized drain.

The princess turned. "Elsa?"

THHRRUMMMMMMMM…..!

The queen fumed even hotter than the forge. Eyes wide and tears flowing, the Queen should have appeared dashed and crumbling from her sadness, but Anna saw none of that.

Instead, the Queen of Arendelle burned from the inside out. It was freezing inferno, her powers causing her eyes and her very skin to ripple with energy. The woman breathed in short, hard inhales, her fists balled at her sides and her lips pressed together in a straight, flat line. Bits of ice began to form on her arms and shoulders, dangling from her body for a few short seconds before toppling to the ground under their own weight. Her hair fell from its woven position top her head, cascading down her shoulders like silver-white wisps of smoke.

The queen was, at once, broken, burning and staggeringly beautiful.

Anna actually held her breath.

"You wish to know the thoughts of the queen?!" the older woman demanded, her voice filling the forge as molten lead fills a cast. "You demand her opinion of you? Unrestrained? Un-tempered? You seek clarity on what YOU are to HER? You…You wish to know JUST what kind of monster she REALLY IS?!"

For all her anger and sadness and frustration, Anna couldn't agree that her sister was a monster.

But rather than disagree and start a whole new diatribe of conflict, Anna held her tongue. She offered a single, definitive nod in Elsa's direction, keeping eye-contact, before resting her spear against the doorframe.

"Then SIT," Elsa said, gesturing to a small nearby stool, casting an icy glaze across the floor in the same instant.

Anna raised a finger. "But I—"

"You will SIT and you will LISTEN, if you wish to hear ANYTHING!" Elsa commanded with glaring eyes and a trembling lip. "No arguments! This is what you get!"

Anna hesitated for a full second before her curiosity and need for closure dashed her caution to pieces. She marched quickly and directly to the stool, taking care to avoid the ice, turning at the last second and placing her rump upon the seat. She felt as though she were nine-years-old, being told to sit, perk up and pay attention like this.

But this would be far more valuable than any arithmetic, at least to her.

Elsa began to pace. Her heart was rock-climbing in her chest, trying feverishly to pull itself out of her doubt and fear, to some new plateau where it could speak, unfettered and free. Back and forth she went, from the entrance of the forge to the actual forge-fire, her hands still curled into unsure fists. The Queen witnessed a barrage of images and thoughts and ideas flying haphazardly behind her eyes, but every time she tried snag one out of the air to begin her 'explanation', the words seemed drastically insufficient, causing her chosen subject to scurry away, unrestrained.

"OK…alright…OK…" Elsa said as she marched, back and forth, with Anna following her like a shuttlecock with her eyes. "Firstly…do not interrupt me. Understand?"

Anna nodded. "Yes."

"Second," Elsa said hastily, "none of this leaves this room. Understand?"

"Of course—"

"THIRD," Elsa said quickly, raising a hand, "you will accept what I tell you. You will hear it for what it is and believe me when I say it is the truth. No objections or questions. Understand?"

As if on cue, Anna felt a need to object, but seeing the look on Elsa's face pulled her mouth closed for a few moments. She nodded in acceptance and sat up straight. "Agreed."

'This could be a disaster…' Anna's inner voice told her.

The princess shook her head slightly, blinking her eyes. 'Then let it be a disaster…so long as it is the truth.'

Similarly, the Queen was battling back her doubts.

'What are you doing?!' her inner voice demanded. 'This is not what I agreed on…this is the opposite of what I chose to do!'

In kind, the Queen shook away her objections. 'This is for Anna…and for me. For us. From the beginning…'

A deep breath.

'Here goes everything…'

Anna leaned forward as Elsa began to speak.

"Several years ago…you were thirteen, I think. I saw you from my window, walking through the garden, alone, in the snow," Elsa said, her voice precise and clear. "I was frightened, that day, because even though you didn't know it, I had created the flurry you were walking through. I was worried that my snow and ice might still be dangerous. That the very act of walking through something I had created might put you in danger. But nothing happened. I had an urge, then, like I'd had so many times before and since, to go to you, speak to you, wipe that lonely, unhappy frown from you face…but I didn't. I fought the urge away, like I had practiced so many times. But I took solace in the fact that, if nothing else, you looked like an angel as you walked through my snow."

She paused. Anna listened.

"It wasn't enough. But it made me smile…a little."

Anna held back a small sigh of happiness. 'Well…it's a start…'

The queen marched on. "A few years later, when you were fifteen, I saw you flirting with a house-guard in the northern corridor…"

Anna felt her face tighten. 'Uh-oh…'

"I don't blame you, I suppose," Elsa continued, her tone almost nostalgic. "He was handsome, strong, cut quite a figure in his button-coat. He was much older than you and you knew it, too…which I guess is why you took such delight in torturing the poor man. Walking closer, asking about the weather, inquiring about how often he took pretty young village girls to the local pub…I heard it all. You couldn't see me—and that was by design—but I could see you. At first, I…I wanted to go up to you and scold you. Tell you how much I disapproved of what you were doing. When I realized how ridiculous that was, given how little we spoke, I had a desire to join you. I was curious if the guard could withstand TWO princesses trying to ruffle his militaristic feathers. It even made me smile, the idea of being coquettish and sly with this man, seeing which of us could out-flirt the other…"

Anna fought a smile back. 'I think we would have made his cheeks as red as a tomato…'

"…but I turned and practically ran back to my room," Elsa confessed, looking away, "when I realized that I didn't want to flirt with the guard. Or encourage you to do so. What I wanted, what I couldn't have and didn't deserve, was your full attention. I wanted you alone, to myself, to talk and laugh and just BE with. But I couldn't. Not then…not when I was still afraid of what I was."

Anna's smile vanished.

"Mama and Papa died at sea a month or two later," Elsa continued, not even fighting the break in her voice, "and I forgot all about that silly episode. In fact, any courage I might have had to approach you was strangled in its crib. I was so frightened, Anna, such a coward, that I couldn't even leave my room! It was ALL I WANTED, but I couldn't do it! I'd never been so sad and lonely and hurt in my life but I STILL couldn't come to you! I was ashamed, ashamed at how much of Mama and Papa's time I had monopolized for myself, ashamed that I had pushed you so far away…ashamed that I didn't comfort you when you needed me most. I sat in my room, wailing into my pillow and drowning myself in my bedsheets, casting ice and frost in every direction, hoping I could 'magic away' my grief. But it never worked."

Elsa let out a choppy, shattered sigh. "I am so, so sorry, Anna. I have apologized for months and you've accepted them over and over, but…but I may never forgive myself for that. Not fully. Not honestly. It might be redundant and silly by now, but I cannot say enough about how much I regret not being there for you when Mama and Papa were taken from us. That self-inflicted wound cuts deep, even now."

'I'm not going to lose it…' Anna told herself, though her face was ashen. 'There's more…I know there is. Don't cry Anna…be strong right now. Don't cry.'

Thankfully, her body listened.

"Three years later and what do I do?" Elsa said, pressing her forehead into the heel of her palm. "I see you, decked out in your beautiful dress, happy and carefree and hopeful and and…and I muck it all up! I hadn't seen or spoken to you properly in years. So as soon as the coronation is in full swing, as soon as you approach me with optimism and logic and reason…I CAST YOU ASIDE! I refuse to even entertain the idea of keeping the gates open, to encourage the idea of you being social and OUT of this castle for a change! Three years of almost NOTHING between us and the first thing I do is tell you that as soon as the coronation is over, NOTHING will change! I should have pulled you aside, spoken to you, TRIED to communicate what was really going on…but then Hans showed up, and we fought, and I was revealed and the kingdom was covered in a summer blizzard and everything just went…WRONG."

Anna knotted her fingers together, matching the knot in her stomach.

Elsa took a deep breath, doing her best to inhale control and exhale her exasperation. "We both made mistakes over those two days. The whole debacle, all of it, started with me pushing you aside…and it ended with you throwing your life aside for mine."

She looked at her sister earnestly, clasping her hands together as she managed a broken smile. "And I'm very grateful Anna. Truly, I am. For your life, for another chance to live mine…I'm so very thankful for what you've done for me."

Anna's eyes were so heavily blurred she couldn't even see her sister anymore. "Elsa…!"

"I'm not done!" Elsa said, pulling back. "Please. Just…just…WAIT…please…"

Anna was being tortured, but she held fast.

"That was a very, very dark moment in my life," Elsa said. "One I almost didn't come back from. But you pulled me back, Anna. Over the following weeks and months, I started to BREATH again. I could walk without constantly feeling like I was about to topple over. The private moments, the public ones, the times we spent doing the silly and the mundane and the sweet and the bitter, I wouldn't trade those months for a hill of gold. It's hard to describe, really, how much more ALIVE I became once I stopped being afraid…once you helped me beat back my fear. It was so immediate and so casual and so amazing that I thought 'Is this real? Is THIS sisterhood? Have I been pushing aside this amazing feeling for so long because I was afraid of what I might do to my sister? My gods…I'd sooner die myself than let ANYTHING happen to this girl. She has changed my very eyes, so that the world looks and feels so fundamentally different now. I have lived in winter so long, and it was Anna, my beautiful baby—but not a baby—sister, who FINALLY brought me spring.' The peace that came about over the last days of the summer and the beginning of autumn felt absolute. Nothing could remove me from this bliss, the kind of bliss that only comes after reuniting with someone you adore with all your heart."

Anna was floating now, head in the clouds, her heart bathed in warm spring water. But she kept her seat, because there was no force in heaven or earth that would stop Elsa's momentum now.

"A little over a Month ago, we discovered a problem," Elsa said, "and I proposed a ridiculous adventure be undertaken, so that we might solve this problem, together, as sisters. As I think back on it now, the real problem I discovered had nothing to do with finances or the state of the kingdom…but rather, a problem with me. With your sister, Anna. Because that's when things really started to go…WRONG. Again."

Anna slouched.

Elsa looked away, her eyes fixed on the fire.

"I shouldn't have held you that night," she said, feathery and sad. "Our first night away from the kingdom…I should have left you to yourself. I shouldn't have sung you to sleep and watched you drift away in my arms. I shouldn't have held you so close. I shouldn't have planted the seed inside myself…the one that practically demanded I remain close to you at all times. Perhaps that was the start of it, I'm not sure. Maybe it started long, long ago and it only showed signs of life for the first time that night. But it only got worse from there."

Anna felt petrified. 'She…REGRETS keeping me close that night? Why? WHY would she say that…?!'

"A day later, and I made a second mistake," Elsa continued, walking closer to the bed of burning coals. "After almost losing you to a cave-in, a bear and some stranger in the woods, I couldn't fight off your touch, your warmth, your…kiss. Oh, that kiss…"

Anna watched Elsa's head fall backward, eyes screwed shut with the memory that was as beautiful as it was forbidden.

"It was amazing," she whispered. "It was unexpected and fleeting and…and…it almost shattered me. Not because it was wrong, but because it was the FIRST time I realized just how deep I was sinking into this quagmire of ours. Punctuated by adrenalin and fatigue, we could have just let it go, right there and then. We probably should have, once we were out of danger and reunited."

She spoke over her shoulder. "But we didn't. Did we?"

Anna dropped her head forward, the burning of her cheeks attributable only to her memories and totally removed from the forge fires which burned around them.

"No," she admitted.

Elsa paused for a moment or two, before letting out a short burst of ironic laughter. "I suppose there is some solace in knowing that you've lost your mind, even if you can only recognize it in hindsight. I could have sworn that I was reestablishing control over my mind, my emotions and my powers…but maybe it was only a delusion. I worked so hard to control the big issues that I failed to manage the small ones we were creating without even knowing it. I mean…the night we spent together after we met Elgar, the journey home, how infinitely wonderful it felt to keep you so close as we rode our way across the ice, running into you in the corridor and how time seemed to creep to a halt as we came to a heap on the floor? Just samplers, I guess. Treacherous little aperitifs, designed to make us believe we're actually in control of something, when in reality we're spinning out of control and doing things we would never do…never do…"

Elsa buried her face in her hands and took two breaths designed, it seemed, to keep her upright and conscious. Anna watched the Queen rotate twice in front of the forge-fire, appearing lost and despondent for a moment, before consigning herself to the fact that she simply couldn't get away from whatever this was.

One thing was evident; it was ripping Elsa up inside.

"Oh, Gods, Anna…what kind of creature am I?" she said, losing her articulation for a moment and choosing to call the situation as she saw it. "As if it wasn't bad enough that I craved your touch like a plant craves the sun, I have to go ahead and make it ten times more seedy and repulsive, don't I? I mean…who does that? What kind of QUEEN does that? What kind of monster gets herself trapped in a bowl closet? What kind of invasive INSECT peeks out of the door and KEEPS peeking, keeps watching, even though her sister is bathing not ten feet away, totally unaware?! Wh-What kind of letch invades the privacy of someone else…and then…and then draws pleasure from what she sees?!"

Anna was befuddled.

But the details fell into place.

The bath…the sudden deep-freeze…the sounds of people nearby, though she couldn't sniff them out.

The conclusion hit the princess between the eyes so hard she almost forgot to take her next breath.

'Elsa was…she…she SAW…she was wat-watching me?!'

The second wave hit harder than the first. The undertow dragged her across the rocks and she brought her hands over her mouth to keep from swallowing the seawater.

'Ohmygods…oh my GODS!'

Elsa had one hand knotted in her hair as she stared at the floor, unable to face her sister.

"Four weeks ago, I assaulted your privacy, Anna," Elsa said, barely able to maintain her balance. "It was an accident…but only for the first five minutes. After that, I did nothing to stop what I saw and overheard. I let it happen. And I tried to cover up the fact that I had been wa…watching you bathe."

A shaky inhale followed.

"It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen," she confessed, her words exsanguinating upon that dirty, soot-covered floor. "It wasn't planned. I didn't seek it out. But if the truth is what we're after here, then the unpleasant must be recognized as well. I'm not sure what…abnormality, or defect, exists within me, which makes me think this way. But there it is. When I saw you standing before me, the only thing I could think of was how thoroughly perfect you were. Every. Square. Inch of you. I couldn't look away. I knew that I should. I was SCREAMING at myself to shut my eyes and look away."

She managed another breath. "But I couldn't. More importantly, I didn't want to. Wrong, horrible, vulgar as it was…I didn't want to look away from you."

She looked up at the visibly shaken princess. "I STILL can't look away from you."

Anna was as a tree, rooted to her seat. Even her mind refused to move in any meaningful way. She was in a state of perpetual madness, while swimming in river of peace. Being caught between both extremes seemed to negate rational thought, not to mention her vocal chords.

Elsa offered a weak shrug. "So after all that, the rest doesn't really matter, does it? It doesn't matter how much you moved my heart by staying by my side, for three days, after I was in a state of mental collapse in Pabbie's cave. It doesn't matter how unwaveringly kind and affectionate and ostensibly beautiful you appeared to me on the day of the great race. It doesn't matter that four days after my intrusion into one of your most private of moments, we spent several heavenly hours together in Mama and Papa's room…exploring each other as sister's NEVER should. After revealing my actions to be as puerile and fiendish and unsettlingly secretive as they are, none of that matters. I've…I've betrayed you. In how many ways, I'm really not sure…but I have. I've made a perfect mess out of the relationship I swore I would protect from now on. I may well have destroyed the bond I have with the one person in this whole world who means more to me than anything else."

Another pregnant pause.

"Sisters…" she started, fumbling a bit. "Sisters don't…DO these things. The things we've done. The things I've done. They don't see each other this way. They don't plan things this way. They don't mess things up this way, or this badly. They don't restart a relationship only to muck it up with so many cruel, taboo desires. Perhaps I am a poor authority on such things. But I'm reasonably certain they don't veer so far from the path that they can't find their way out of the woods."

The queen cast a shower of snowflakes across the smoldering coals, listening to them as they hissed and melted away, much like the last bit of her common sense.

"But I guess I do. I'm one of those sisters. I was lost for so much of my life, perhaps I don't recognize it the way I should. With everything you've done, everything you've offered me, all the sacrifices you've made, all the freedom you gave me, gave US, every loving glance you've shared with me…I don't FEEL lost anymore. I don't feel broken, frozen or abandoned. I don't dread what I can do because you accept it, without hesitation. I don't fear the world because you are the shield to my sword, it seems…defending me left and right and asking nothing in return. I don't ignore my future because NOW, finally, you're a part of it again! Having you with me as I walk forward...I've never known that strength before. I can topple mountains with a flick of my hand, but now I can climb them, too. All because of what you've done for me, BEEN for me. I'm soaked in it. I adore it."

She rested her hand at her side. "And I'm lost in it. Lost and wandering with a smile on my face…but still lost in the woods. Again."

She spoke slowly after several seconds of waiting. "Six days ago, I hurt you to the point where we had a terrible fight, which very nearly ruined the promenade. It takes two to disagree, but I suppose I instigated this conflict, even if you prolonged it. It was a mistake, either way. For my part, I am very, very sorry."

She turned enough to lean against the wall, as far from Anna as she could manage without jumping into the forge.

She suddenly wanted to do just that.

"Five days ago, I was scolded, not only by my own blasphemous heart, but by Kristoff as well, for denying, and then admitting, that I had fallen in love… with my little sister."

She clutched her sides, as if to keep herself from crumbling to silver-blue dust.

"…and fifteen minutes ago, I realized that while I may never deserve or even approach the relationship I want with you, it's more important that you know the truth. All of it, as it pertains to you. To us. To what I am and what I feel…about you."

The tears crashed down her face as she looked upon her sister once more, unburdened, unfettered and free.

"I Love You, Anna," Elsa said, the words tumbling so easily now, though her face was shattered with pain. "From the day you were born, I have loved you as my sister. Keeping you safe and keeping you away were the only methods I had to express that love. It was foolish and dangerous to trust you so little. We made it past that, thank goodness. That should be enough for a lifetime. But now, heaven help me…I want. I desire, something. Something I can't have. Something I have no right to ask for.

"From the day our bond was reborn, slowly but surely, I have loved you as a woman. I don't know what to call this part of me. I don't even know if a pleasant definition exists. But it doesn't matter…and I have no excuse to offer. I'm sorry, I truly am sorry, my kjære hjerte. I don't know what this makes me or if this makes me anything more than a degenerate. But here it is: no mirrors, no smoke, no strings."

She combed her hair back as she sniffled away the last of her tears. "There…now you have the truth of my disaster. Now you see my…monster. I must sound like a fool for repeating myself so much, but I am so, so sorry for what this is. Not for what I feel…never that. But for what this must being doing to you."

Her voice grew quieter. "Whatever I am, whatever this makes me…my love belongs to you, Anna. It always has."

A long, long silence followed.

Anna remained immobile.

Elsa was a snarl of raw nerves, despite her restrained demeanor.

The only voice was the crackling of the coals, muttering to themselves as they discussed just what in all Hades had taken place in front of them.

The Queen and Princess could not bring themselves to look at one another.

In the near distance, Cloven began to ring, signaling the arrival of the hour.

After what felt like decades, Elsa waved her hand and dissipated her wall of ice. The door to the forge opened wide, allowing much of the heated air to finally escape.

The Queen, wearily and drained, made her way slowly to the exit.

"It's getting late. We…we should probably go. Go back," she said, monotone and resigned.

SNAP…

Elsa was halted in her tracks.

She looked down and saw her sister, eyes turned away, posture a bit crooked, holding her by her pinky finger.

Elsa starred.

Anna whispered.

"We aren't finished yet…"

'Now you've done it…' said the inner monologue of the queen, mocking her. She swallowed and held her position.

Anna's own mind was equally braced with anxiety.

'You should let her walk away…' she told herself, even as she held onto Elsa's finger. 'You're not going to like the answers she gives you.'

Anna finally raised her head, making a choice. 'Yeah…but I already promised I would see this through. All of it.'

Elsa spoke. "What else is there?"

"Details," Anna said, releasing her finger and coming to her feet, even though her legs with filled with sawdust.

"Details on what?"

Anna walked slowly, putting herself between Elsa and the door. It was strategic, but subtle.

No escape. For either of them.

"For starters…the conversation you had with Kristoff," Anna began, looking Elsa uneasily but steadily in the eye. "Is that why he was acting the way he was this afternoon?"

Elsa looked down, but then up again, keeping Anna's vision fixed on her own. "Yes."

Anna nodded. Processing. "I take it he's very angry at us. Hence his exit."

Elsa waited before answering. "He seemed angrier at me."

"Why?"

Elsa sighed. "He thought I betrayed his trust. Lied to him, even if it was a lie of omission. I suppose he was right, in a way. But I wasn't misleading him out of spite. I simply didn't want to hurt him by admitting the truth."

Anna looked a bit distressed at that. "He took it kinda hard…didn't he?"

Elsa cocked her head, a little bemused. "I told him that I was in love with the same woman he loves. If I was on the receiving end of that information, I suppose I would take it pretty hard, too."

Anna scowled a bit. "It can't be that simple—"

Elsa raised a hand. "Kristoff LOVES you, Anna. Deeply. He's rough around the edges and likes to believe he's tough as nails. But he feels exactly what I do for you. That vulnerability isn't easy to admit, especially for him. I guess no one likes being vulnerable, no matter how strong they are."

Anna contemplated that, displeased at the churning, unpleasant guilt that was stewing beneath her ribs. It ate at her, little by little, to know even an approximation of what Kristoff must be feeling.

"I hate the idea of hurting him…" she admitted.

"So do I," Elsa said, backing up a step. "He's a good man. A good friend, too. And seeing him like that, so raw and angry and sad...I'd have given anything to avoid that. To keep him from being hurt."

Anna lost a good deal of color from her face, feeling a few more puzzle pieces take their positions within her head and heart. "I guess you can't always do that, really, can you? Keep the people you love from getting hurt? Or keep yourself from hurting them?"

Elsa appraised that truth and gave a small nod. "I suppose not. Much as we try."

Anna clasped her hands behind her back, looking to the floor again. "Given that he knows...how many other people know? What you told him, I mean."

Elsa sighed unhappily again. "I don't know. He told me—snarled, really—that he wasn't going to use the information as leverage. I believed him. But as for the rest of the staff, the village…I'm not sure. I get the impression that some of them THINK they know something. But I've never directly asked them."

The queen leaned against an anvil. "I've never dealt with this directly at all, I'm afraid."

Anna softened, feeling her voice and her posture become less rigid. "Why not?"

The queen shrugged, folding her arms and looking into the near distance. "Anxiety? Fear? It could be any number of reasons. Maybe I thought it'd go away. Or lesson. Or maybe I'd hit my head and forget all about it…I don't know. But facing it meant acknowledging it. Admitting it was real."

Anna pressed, but gently. "And you couldn't do that?"

Elsa shook her head. "Not if it meant ruining a good thing. Not if it meant losing you again."

The princess understood. She wanted to reaffirm how ludicrous such an idea was, how silly her sister was for thinking such a thing. But she understood why such a thing would weigh so heavily on the queen. She saw what Elsa saw. She knew what her sister knew.

"You would have gone the rest of our lives like that?" Anna asked. "You would have kept how you felt a secret? Forever?"

"Well," Elsa said quietly, "perhaps one day, far in far the future, when we were old and gray…"

"I'm being serious!" Anna insisted.

"So am I!" Elsa said angrily, placing a shaky hand over her mouth before attempting to speak again. "Do you…have you any idea what it feels like, to keep a secret so damning and destructive, that it could DESTROY you, and everything you love, if anyone found out? I had TWO of those, Anna! Two secrets, one which made me a force of nature and the other which makes me a pervert! I may have come to grips with how I feel, but don't associate my revelation with foolishness. I would never jeopardize what I have, I would never recklessly gamble with something like this, something so precious to me that I would lock away the world, just to keep it safe!"

The princess closed her mouth tight, trying to keep herself steady. She had considered such a thing, but the pure simplicity of Elsa's 'duty' to keep such information clandestine had never hit her so square in the chest before.

"So yes, I would," Elsa confirmed again, sad and stalwart with her commitment. "And I would smile and support you, watch you marry, watch you raise a family, perhaps even help you raise it. Because at least then, I would still be in your life. I'd still be close, still be near, still be the sibling you need and deserve. At least then, I'd know that I hadn't sacrificed a sister, just to satisfy my own longing. At least then, we'd still be a family."

Anna felt it again. A little bubble of curiosity and apprehension. Not at what Elsa had told her, but at what Anna wanted to ask next.

"But you don't see me that way," Anna declared, clear and direct. "Not as a little sister. Do you?"

Elsa almost stomped her foot in agitation. "Of COURSE I do!"

"But…?"

The queen receded a bit, gathering her strength again. "BUT nothing. You'll always be my sister. It's just that, NOW, I see you as a woman. A living, breathing, flesh-and-blood woman, grown up and no longer a child."

"…who you've become attracted to." Anna finished.

Elsa paused. Swallowed. "Yes."

Anna absorbed that again. The shock was still there, bright and glaring. But it was less abrasive now. Less scandalous. More soothing.

Cooling.

She let several seconds pass, dissipating some of the tension in the air, some of it with the softness of her voice.

"When did you know? How you felt?"

Elsa thought about that for a solid minute. To Anna, it looked as if she were having doubts or second thoughts, given how many times her facial expression changed. But she only spoke when she was sure.

"I realized how much I cared about you when I decided to keep you at a distance, in order to protect you," Elsa admitted. "But if I had to choose the moment when I started falling in love with you?"

"Yes?" Anna asked, her breath on tip-toe.

Elsa looked down. She smiled, briefly. Her cheeks flashed a rosy pink.

"The evening after I ran from the kingdom," she said, recalling the date. "When you made your way to my citadel atop the North Mountain. When you found me."

Anna quirked a quick grin. "Really?"

Elsa nodded. "The look on your face when you saw me. The way you looked AT me. Directly, at me, for the first time in goodness knows how long. How you admired my new home. How amazing it felt to have you there. And then, just moments later, as I realized you'd come all that way, just to find me, just to bring me home. It was overwhelming. Olaf jumping through the door, seeing him, realizing that I had created him out of a desire to reconnect with you, with the good parts of our childhood…it might not have been cupid's arrow, but it was a pin-prick. One that led to many other small, sharp realizations. But if I had to pick a place in time where my feelings began their downward spiral…that would probably be it."

She pulled into herself for a few seconds, disappointing the princess that her smile was gone. "Then things went sour again. But at least there are a few minutes from that evening that I remember fondly."

Anna searched the forge for something to stare at besides her sister. "But we're better now. Both of us, I think. Right?"

Elsa had to agree. "Yes. Better. Relatively speaking."

The princess was edging towards another question. But she didn't want to spook her sister. Or give her reason to bottle up again.

'Take your time, Anna,' she thought, pacing herself.

"The night we spent together, the first one on our journey up north," the princess recalled, "you regret it? You wish it never happened?"

Elsa looked up, a sad, nostalgic recollection in her eyes. "No. I never regret spending time with you. But I do feel like I should have shown a little more discretion. It was very self-indulgent of me, given how I was beginning to feel about you."

"It was self-indulgent of both of us," Anna declared, squaring her shoulders a bit. "I was there too, ya know."

Elsa smiled briefly. "Yes, you were. But I should have been more responsible. Or at least a little more cautious. If someone had seen us like that…"

"They did," Anna interrupted. "Even if they/he didn't admit it, he suspected. Not Elgar, but Kristoff...he was made aware. Maybe not that night. But the following one? The one where you wove me that beautiful nightgown for me? I'm almost certain he was aware of that."

Elsa seemed distressed, biting one of her nails as she remembered what Kristoff had said to her. "You're right. Maybe…I should have been less careless. Maybe I should have made the fort a little more complex. Given us a place to change or just separate quarters altogether. It would have been less complicated but I just…I wanted you close, that night. I wanted you away from Kristoff and Sven and Olaf and Elgar. It was stupid and selfish, I know—"

"STOP IT!"

Elsa looked shocked at Anna's outburst. "Wh-What do you—?"

"STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!" Anna yelled again, hands pulling at the hair behind her ears. "Stop acting like a martyr! Stop pretending this was all you!"

Elsa was frightened at the way Anna was speaking. "No no, please, don't be upset! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you weren't part of this too."

Anna threw her hands down to her hips, her voice controlled but angry. "When are you going to let me grow up?!"

"I'm…I'm sorry?"

"When are you going to let me take responsibility for the things I do?" Anna asked, a little softer this time. "Do I have to be your age? Twenty-five? FIFTY? When can I stand up and say 'I did this! It was on me! No one else!'? Tell me! When is that OK?"

Elsa swooned slightly from so much apprehension running through her system. "I'm not saying you weren't partly responsible! Please, Anna, I'm sorry I made you deal with this, I'm sorry I dropped this all on you at once!"

But the princess's mind was made up. She was almost pacing now, moving from side to side like a tiger in a far-too-small cage. "I don't want your apologies! We said we needed to stop apologizing to one another and we meant it. But I'm not going to let you hang this around your neck and watch you drown! I'm not going to let you feel bad about feeling how you feel when I know damn well that I felt it too!"

It took a second, but Elsa came down from her precipice of fear and latched onto the part of Anna's sentence that held an ocean of deeper meaning. "Wh…what? What does…What do you mean?"

Anna went around the anvil, to the door of the forge and back again, her clothing loose and starting to tangle in places. She looked physically uncomfortable, but it was elevated by the fact that she was having a hard time directing her frustration.

So when she came back to the middle of the forge and took Elsa by the shoulders, it seemed to transfer her unease to her older sibling. The queen stood stock still as Anna bunched her clothing in her little fists, holding firm and keeping the two of them in one place.

"Those two nights we spent together are some of the happiest memories I have!" Anna declared. "Apart from being in the middle of nowhere, I've never felt so safe, so wanted, so needed! I had you all to myself! I didn't have to share you, stand nearby without talking to you, pass your door and pretend it didn't hurt when you didn't open it. The feeling of your body next to mine, your voice in my ear, the way you looked at me…like…like I was the first cool night of autumn after a summer of blazing heat. I don't expect this to make sense. I don't expect you to agree. But it's true! I wanted all of it, just as much as you!"

She loosened her grip slightly, trying to give Elsa some space even though she hated the idea of pulling back again. "So stop being the sacrificial lamb, alright? I'm in this, too! You enjoyed holding me while we rode that horse? Heh, you have no IDEA what kind of hell I would have raised if you'd let go of me! And that second night, after we met Elgar? I could have stood there and let you weave that nightgown for hours…it felt too good, Elsa. Too good, having your magic around me, lifting me up and covering me with shivers. It was amazing. Almost ALL of it was amazing! The time we spent planning the Ferring, the little flowers that spring up around you whenever you're really, REALLY happy, the hours we had in private in Mama and Papa's room, the fifteen seconds we spent on the dance floor during the promenade…ALL OF IT. Amazing!"

The princess seemed out of breath, panting and even gasping in places as she reined in her voice. "And I know what you're thinking. You think you've taken advantage of me, that you've done something despicable because you're the older sister and should know better, right? That you're the one to blame here and that I'm just one step away from being a victim of your perverse mind, right? Right?!"

Elsa was still at the mercy of her princess, holding still and trying not to flinch.

But she saw that Anna was earnest. She wanted an answer, a truthful one, even if it meant that it would cause her pain. Much as she tried to struggle against it, Elsa couldn't be reassuring and deflecting right now. She needed to answer.

"You're right, OK?!" Elsa admitted. "More than anything else in the world, I fear hurting you by doing something to take advantage of you! As a kid, I feared physically hurting you. Now, I worry that what I want, what I feel, will ruin what we have because I wasn't strong enough to keep it under control."

Anna rested her hands on Elsa's shoulders and dipped her head between them, eyes to the dirty, soot-covered floor. She leaned on Elsa, just a little, closing her eyes and focusing on the stone. When the floor offered her no new answers, no clever insights or play on words, Anna decided she needed to spell things out. It was the only thing left.

She looked up. "I shared your bed because I wanted to. Not to please you, but because I desired it. And you. I held you to me because no one else makes me feel the way you do. I tease and joke with you because it makes you happy. Because it makes both of us happy. I ask your secrets because I want to know ALL about you, Elsa. Everything. Real, imagined, dark, unpleasant or just overly dramatic…I want to know BECAUSE it's you. No other reason is necessary. I ki…kissed you, because nothing has ever made me feel more cherished. Because it makes me feel wanted, desirable, special…even a little possessive. I WANTED to feel that way. But with YOU. That was a decision I made. I wanted to feel that way with YOU, Elsa."

Elsa found it difficult to speak. But she felt encouraged. Bolder, even, hearing her little sister speak so candidly and so closely to her. The queen reached out and pushed a lock of hair out of Anna's eyes, taking great care to tuck it behind her ear.

"We're both disasters, I guess," she told her older sister, smiling reassuringly. "But you are not a monster. Or a pervert. Or a wretch or anything else of the sort. You never have been."

She pulled back slightly, looking Elsa in her wide, shocked eyes. "So please don't call yourself those things, OK? It hurts my feelings when you beat yourself up for being you."

Elsa was beside herself with disbelief. Courage, happiness, warmth…she swam in these emotions like the ocean on a hot summer day. It showed. Bits of frost were forming on her arms and legs, tumbling to her feet and evaporating in an instant.

But Anna went still for a moment. Elsa felt her body stiffen, even though she was arm's length away.

She waited.

"Elsa," she started, "can I ask something of you?"

The queen nodded quickly. "Yes…anything."

Anna pulled back a step, the loss of Elsa's embrace causing an ache in her. She looked at Elsa, almost bashfully, as she curled her fingers together.

"Could you…make it snow?" she asked. "In here? In this room?"

Elsa blinked. "Pardon?"

"Could you make it snow, here, in the forge?" Anna asked again, enunciating a little.

The queen looked to the side before nodding her head. "Eh…yes, of course. But why—?"

"I just need to test something," Anna said, trying not to be too timid as she looked at Elsa with big, open eyes. "Please? Could you?"

Elsa had another few seconds of perplexed hesitation, but no more than that. She spun her hands together, dipping her fingers in and out around a small, glowing ball of snow. Her power flowed easily from within her, coalescing and finding form. With a small upward thrust, the ball was lofted towards the ceiling of the forge. It didn't have far to travel, but it burst before hitting the rafters with a soft POOOOF. A cascade of snowflakes filled the room, slowly falling towards the pair. The hiss of snow melting on the coals was almost like water flowing over rocks, soft and smooth and soothing. The heat in the room lessened and the light dimmed, if only slightly, as Elsa's small flurry filled the forge.

Anna looked up at the falling sparkles. She beheld them for a moment before closing her eyes and smiling to herself. The sensation of each cooling crystal, drifting through the air to land weightlessly upon her hot skin…it filled her senses to the brim. There was no winter gale, no tempest of dread, no looming doom surrounding her heart or her head. Not anymore. The snowflakes teased her collarbone, tickled her ears, caressed her cheeks and kissed her lips, slowing her heartrate and draining her of her worry. The sensations within her, once so chaotic and harried, felt ordered and relaxed. She was as the snowfall; a focal point of cool, calm expression.

That was it. That was the catalyst point. And Anna knew it.

It was only confirmed when she finally brought herself out of her trance. For when she opened her eyes and beheld her sister, smiling and standing patiently, equally covered in a dusting of sprinkled diamonds, the first word that came to her mind was 'Angel'.

"I've loved this since I was a child," she finally said, catching Elsa's attention. "The touch, sensation, the feeling of being surrounded by snow. By YOUR snow, Elsa."

"You have?"

"Yes," Anna said, holding her hands up a bit, catching snowflakes on her palms. "Perhaps that's what made winter so much fun. Maybe that's why I coaxed you into playing with me as often as I did. Snow and ice were fun, exciting, even a little dangerous at times. But I never felt like I was in danger with you. I never felt unsafe. In fact, later, while playing alone…something felt off. Like I was missing something. As time went on, I realized that it felt odd to play in snow that wasn't made by you, or conjured by you. Even with my memories modified, it seemed so…different. It sounds silly, but I don't think I could have articulated it any better than that at the time. Now, as I feel your snow around me, I'm reminded of how good it felt to play with you and your winter magic."

She lowered her arms, wrapping them around her stomach. "But it's more than that, Elsa. Bigger. Probably has been for a while."

Elsa looked slightly alarmed. "What do you mean?"

The princess looked down. "I mean it's not just the snow. I mean, I love your snow. I do. It's a connection to my childhood that I never want to lose."

Elsa was afraid to push. "But?"

"But I love so much more than that!" Anna said, looking up suddenly. "So many things, all of them small but all connected! It sounds crazy but they mean so much to me, like…like food tastes strange if I'm not eating with you. I don't sleep as well if I don't tell you goodnight. If we're fighting, I'm snappy and unhappy around other people. When we're together, even if no one is saying anything, I swear, sometimes, I can hear music…"

The princess shook her head. "I'm rambling, I know. But maybe that's part of it, ya know? Maybe your mind rambles and jumps and skids all over the place when it's trying to make sense of something that doesn't make sense. Even simple things aren't so simple. Snow is snow…why should yours be so precious to me? A chocolate is a chocolate, so why should it taste so much better if I'm sharing it with you? A sister is a sister; precious and dear to me, true, but why…why do I feel like calling you my sister doesn't even come close to describing what you are to me? What you've BECOME to me?"

Elsa searched for an answer but couldn't find one, keeping silent.

"So maybe it's hopeless!" Anna said, crossing her arms and shrugging in defeat. "Maybe I can't differentiate between what makes me happy and what makes up my relationship with you. Maybe we're both insane and don't know how to be proper sisters. Maybe I'm ready to deal with this, even if I can't fully understand it…"

She grasped another snowflake, pulling it out of the air. "Maybe the thing that makes me happy is like your snowfall; it covers everything around me and it comes from a single source."

The queen felt a swelling in her breast, but still her common sense won out. "Anna, please, just because I told you something damning about myself, that doesn't mean you need to confess something that you're unsure of—"

"WHEN, then?" Anna asked, raising her arms and dropping them to her sides. "When do I say it? When do I stop circling the idea like a scared kitten? When do I stop pretending? When do I acknowledge that what I want and feel isn't normal…but isn't wrong, either?"

She crept as close as she could to Elsa, inches away, her voice delicate and thin.

"When do I admit that I'm in love with you? When is it OK to say that to my sister? When? Please, tell me, when?!"

Elsa reached out a hand and gently brushed a few flakes of snow from her sister's cheek. The tear that followed was warm and happy, streaking down her beautiful face, a punctuation mark beside her quivering lips.

"I think you just did," Elsa whispered. "So I guess…here. And now."

Anna squeaked happily and leapt into Elsa's arms. The queen caught Anna, wrapping her arms around her middle, crushing her face into Anna's neck and shoulder. After days of being without Elsa's touch and warmth, the princess was ecstatic, pressing herself as deeply into the hug as she could. Elsa enveloped her totally, holding her so tight she could hear every breath in her lungs. It almost stole her voice away, to be so close to Anna again.

"…I'm…I'm…Anna, I d-don't…know what to say…" The queen stuttered, her sister's embrace tightening.

Feeling her hug returned filled the princess with light, radiating from her head to her toes. She squeezed tighter, feeling Elsa press her body upward, holding her like a life-raft atop a cresting wave. The princess gasped with happiness, even giggling a little, at just how good it felt to feel this way again.

But Anna's mind grew bold. She grew curious. Much as it pained her, she pulled back from Elsa's desirous embrace, holding the queen just a tiny distance away.

Elsa looked anxious and worried.

Anna took her sister's hand and lay it across her cheek, the cool skin of Elsa's palm causing her to breathe deeply. The twinkling snowflakes dotted both their faces with flecks of sparkling crystal.

"Tell me the truth. Again," Anna requested, soft and timid. "Please?"

Elsa hesitated.

Anna smiled. "Please, Elsa? Tell me the truth. Your truth."

The Queen knew what Anna meant.

The Queen feared what Anna meant.

But the Queen knew what Anna meant.

She smiled that same disarming smile that Anna had admired for years, cupping the cheek of the princess in her trembling hand.

"I Love You, Anna."

Anna dropped her eyelids and leaned into Elsa's touch, committing the motion of her lips to memory.

"Again. Please."

Elsa let a happy tear drop from her eye, trickling all the way down her cheek as she gazed upon her disheveled, unkempt, gorgeous sister. "I Love You, Princess Anna. Gods help me…I do…I really do. I love you so very much, my Anna."

Said princess covered the hand of the queen with her own, giving her palm the smallest of kisses before tightening her grip around Elsa's fingers. "Mmhh…please, again, again…tell me again, Elsa…please…"

Elsa coughed out a happy laugh, holding Anna's face as she looked at her. "I love you, you silly, beautiful, amazing girl. I love you, I love you…"

Anna laughed and let out a short cry of happiness, blinking her tears away. "Oh, gods…I love you too, Elsa. With everything I have, I love you, I love you!"

The Queen, drunk and soaked with her sister's words, closed the distance in an instant. Her lips met Anna's in a collision of rose petals, as fiery and burning as the forge behind them. Anna swooned and fell forward into the kiss, her hands wrapped around Elsa's head and neck in a manner most possessive and firm. They breathed each other in, deep and covetous, trying to inhale through their noses but finding it insufficient. Every so often they would part, causing them to gasp and pant as if they had been under water for hours, before one of them would seize the other and claw them back into their feverish fray of lips and hands and need.

Elsa tried to speak first, but her mind kept slipping out from under her every time Anna lay her lips across the hungry mouth of the queen. "An-Anna…we…wait for a s…second…"

The princess seemed single-minded, using her momentum to guide Elsa towards the wall of the forge, away from the burning coals. Elsa could provide little resistance, her own legs retreating at Anna's advance. The princess left kisses along Elsa's jaw-line, the faintest hint of her teeth raking across her ivory skin. She remembered how such kisses weakened the resolve of her older sister and took great delight in seeing Elsa roll back her head, sighing with pleasure.

"Oh you little brat…" Elsa huffed, reaching her hands up and tickling the princess beneath the ribs. The younger woman gasped and giggled and tried to retaliate, but Elsa had better leverage and her hands was just as merciless as the lips of the princess.

But Anna found a loophole.

The first kiss she laid on Elsa's chest was just above her collarbone. The second was beneath that, along the faint peppering of pale freckles between the folds of her blouse.

The third halted Elsa's fingers, along with everything else.

"A…Anna?"

The princess moved slowly now. Purposeful, deliberate. Her small hands rested on the hips of the queen, for balance and stability. Her eyes were wide for a moment, catching herself in a position most awkward and brazen. Even her lips seemed to pull back, afraid of the discoveries they might make.

But only for a moment.

The princess laid another kiss upon Elsa's skin. Her breath was timed with each touch, sending warm air up and over the queen's shoulders. She felt bold but cautious, her hands curled more firmly into the loose clothing along Elsa's flank. Her kisses were keys on a chain, each one unlocking permission to lay the next kiss upon Elsa's body.

Elsa looked straight ahead. Every touch from her sister was softer than silk, but yet she felt as though she were being pummeled by heavy rain. It was pressure, building and radiating outward, so powerful she was unaware just how shallow her breathing had become. She didn't even notice how her hands seemed to instinctively crawl over Anna's neck and shoulders, gentle weaving themselves into the messy braid atop her head.

The princess stopped. Looked up. "I'm…I'm…am I hurting you?"

Elsa looked down, gob-smacked. "What?"

Anna hissed out a hot breath. "I'm not…is this scaring you? Tell me."

The queen combed her fingers through Anna's hair, her nails teasing her scalp and causing the princess to hum involuntarily. Looking up at the queen, her blouse parted and her eyes soft, Anna felt that she might fall to pieces or set herself ablaze, depending on what Elsa might say.

Looking down at the princess, her lips poised above her sternum and her eyes pleading for approval, Elsa felt a very real shiver begin to work its way up her legs.

"No," said the queen, stroking the hair of her baby sister. "It feels new…different…"

Anna kept looking up, placing another slow, experimental kiss between the folds of Elsa's blouse.

Elsa's eyes shut involuntarily, her back arching just an inch as she smiled and sighed "…wonderful…"

Anna sank slowly to her knees. Her kisses followed, one by one, descending apprehensively down the sagittal line of the queen. Two of her buttons fell open below her chin, as if to encourage the princess along her trail. Elsa continued to massage the back of her sister's tussled braid, her other hand bracing her against the wall of the forge. She kept her breathing quiet, measured, doing her best not to shake as each kiss landed upon her chest, her stomach, her abdomen. The princess was painting fire across the belly of the queen, who was doing her best not to succumb to the flames.

As Anna reached the ground, she leaned forward, into her queen, sliding her hands upward along her back. The gentleness of her touch calmed Elsa immensely, but the sensation of her sister's lips upon her navel caused her to exhale sharply. It was the loudest she'd been during Anna's southward journey.

Again, Anna looked up. "Did I hurt you?"

Elsa shook her head, smiling briefly before opening her eyes. "No, no, not at all…g-goodness gracious…"

Anna perked up, seeing Elsa so enraptured, smiling brightly. "Are you enjoying this?"

Elsa laughed aloud, tangling her fingers in Anna's hair as she looked down at her. "Clearly you are!"

Anna dragged her nails over the small of Elsa's back, smiling coquettishly up at the queen. "Must be your imagination…don't know what you're talking about…"

"Oh you-you…little weasel!" Elsa said, slamming one hand against the wall and sliding to the ground. "That's it!"

Anna was mesmerized by the sight of Elsa's body flowing to the floor, her rump landing on a pile of polishing cloth. In one swift motion the queen was eye level with Anna, before she spun her sister around and clutched her to her body. Anna kicked her legs out in front of her but it was too late; the Queen had her from behind, arms pinned at her back.

A gaggle of strained laughter erupted from the princess. The queen used her teeth to nibble and bite at the back of Anna's neck while her hands clawed and tickled the princess like some fiendish bobcat. Anna couldn't defend herself. No matter how much she kicked and cackled and swore revenge, she was totally at the mercy of her monarch. After five minutes, she had almost laughed herself into submission, tears of joy caking her cheeks.

"I GIVE I GIVE I GIVE OH GODS I GIIIIIVEEEEE!" she yelled, finally settling into a heap upon Elsa's lap, panting and sobbing and sore. "You win! Ohhhhhh OK OK OK! Time out! ARGH! Can't breathe …ehhhhaaahaaaHAAAA I can't breathe!"

Elsa relinquished, wrapping her arms around Anna and holding her close, her own laughter muffled by the unwoven braid of her hair. The two shook with laughter for several minutes, their faces bright red and sweaty and split with smiles. It was a delicious pile of nonsense and happiness, as pure as freshly fallen snow and just as comforting.

Elsa laid several kisses on Anna's neck. They were soft and exploratory, while the princess managed to free one hand to stroke Elsa's cheek. The queen reveled in every warm touch, every sweet inch of skin offered to her by her princess. The weight of her baby sister, pressed into her exposed stomach and held fast in her arms, seemed to plant her into the ground. She felt as if she were growing, slowly and fearlessly, up into the body of her sibling, coaxed and encouraged by the cloud of light which seemed to encompass them.

"I love you, you little trouble maker," she told her sister between each soft, greedy kiss, "You mountain climber…you storm chaser…you bear fighter…you wonderful girl…"

The princess drank every word like sweet, warm tea, feeling her insides glow as the queen traced a hand over her abdomen, leaving cool, tingling trails along her skin. Anna sank deeper into Elsa's embrace, breathing deeply and closing her eyes in appreciation of every touch lavished upon her by the queen. It had been so long since she'd surrendered so completely, trusted so effortlessly, with another person. Her face was a mess of sweat and fire-touched cheeks, her hair was a dismal array of knots and curls and her training gear was practically a snarl…but she didn't care. She was exactly where she wanted to be. Exactly where she belonged.

"I may never tire of hearing that, you know," she confessed to her queen.

Elsa smiled into Anna's shoulder. "Oh, you might yet. Though I admit it will take some getting used to…"

Anna frowned. "Why?"

"Because I've always loved you," Elsa said quietly, "but this love is so much more…I don't know, illuminating? Tangible? I have loved you since you were a little girl, as my sister, that I have always known. I've cultivated it, given it dimension, come to understand what it means to have my family back. But now…"

Anna squeezed her sister's hand. "Now, what?"

Elsa sighed and laid another kiss on the back of Anna's neck. "Now it's like I'm starting from scratch. I'm not complaining, far from it. But there's a lot to learn, a LOT to discuss. I'm not even sure where to begin."

The princess nodded, careful not to bump Elsa in the chin. "Yeah. You're right."

Elsa wasn't sure she liked how her sister's voice sounded. "I am?"

"Yes, of course," Anna said, stroking Elsa's hand reassuringly as it lay across her bellybutton. "This is new to me, too. I mean…I've only ever kissed one other person and you. That's really all the experience I have with such things. It's not like I'm starved for that kind of affection, but it is an odd thing that I should find such affection with someone who only recently came back into my life. Very strange. Very new."

Elsa looked down, her grip on Anna tightening. The rascally distempering of her insides was slowly coming back, kept at bay by her sister's proximity, but only just. The queen hoped it would pass soon.

She felt a small pinch atop her hand, causing her to look up again.

"That being said," Anna continued, "can I be honest with you about something?"

Elsa nodded. "That's all we seem to be doing tonight…so yes, please."

Anna turned, looking over her shoulder. "Having you hold me like this, feeling you kiss me, being soaked in your attention…is probably the most amazing thing, ever."

Elsa sighed happily into her princess. "It is?"

"Yeah, it is, it really, really is," Anna said, laughing a bit at her own admission, "so however new or odd this is, can we just be here, now? Can I just be the woman you love and smother with kisses until the world comes to an end? Please?"

The answer to her question was a fierce embrace of cool hands and strong arms, practically seizing the princess where she lay. She whimpered as Elsa's lips redoubled their tender, murderously-generous assault upon the neck of the princess, pushing her legs out and allowing the queen to drag the two of them deeper into the small pile of rags. The frightfully deft touch of Elsa's teeth behind her warm lips caused the princess to gasp, curling her head to one side, exposing as much of her back and shoulders to Elsa's touch as she could.

Elsa couldn't believe what she was doing. All doubt had been kicked from the room like so much rubbish, causing her hands and arms to glide over Anna's body like leaves swirling around the base of a tree. Up and down Anna's sides, over her leggings, down her flank, across her belly and over her hips they flew, drawing energy from her princess, her sister, her dearest and greatest love. The heat of the forge was formidable, but now some new furnace had been lit, gaining fire and consuming fuel faster and faster as Elsa pampered her sister.

It struck her like lightening when she realized what was happening. Somehow, Anna's tightly fitted training shirt had become grossly debrided from the rest of her. Elsa realized that it had been her own feverish exploration of her sister that now left her garments untucked and barely secure upon her person. But the placement of her hand, barely an inch beneath Anna's small, heaving breast, caused the queen a hurricane of distress.

She froze in place.

Anna, her hips partly levitating now, noticed the frigid change in Elsa's passion. She came down from her own elation, settling her posterior into Elsa's lap, panting and huffing and genuinely frazzled at being halted so unceremoniously, right as things seemed to be gaining momentum.

"What's wrong?" she asked her queen, grasping one of her hands in her own and reaching back to touch Elsa's face with the other. "Why did you stop?"

Elsa was panting as well, though at least fifty percent of it was from anxiety. Anxiety over what she had been doing. Anxiety over what she had almost done.

"I…I almost…"

"Yes?" Anna said, soft and fearless.

The queen let out breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She wrapped her arms around her sister's middle, the equivalent of sitting on her hands. The princess accepted the hug but kept waiting for a response, caressing Elsa's cheek as she looked straight ahead, ears perked.

"I almost gave in," Elsa said, feeling sweat trail down her own neck and quivering shoulders.

Anna sighed, biting the inside of her lip as she lay her head back. "You say that like it would bring the world crashing down around us…"

"How do you know it wouldn't?"

"I don't. But if I have to go, that doesn't sound like a bad way to do it."

"Anna…"

"Elsa, please," the princess insisted, "just…tell me. Why did you stop?"

The queen fought the urge to pick herself up from the floor and flee into the night, ashamed and angry at herself for letting things go THIS far. She could have done it, too, her sister's compromising and far-too comfortable position atop her notwithstanding.

But she'd established a pattern of conversation that evening, one she knew Anna would be unwilling to break. So she didn't.

"Because I just spent an hour explaining to my baby sister that I love her with my whole heart, and now here I am, wallowing in my own desire, giving serious consideration to throwing the rule book out the window entirely. You just don't…DO that, in the same breath, on the same night. Or even at all, given this situation. It's just not right, to take so much from you and expect you to be alright with it."

Anna understood. She waited a moment or so, collecting, filtering her thoughts. She hadn't expected such a direct answer, and while it was difficult to respond given how fiercely the brakes had been applied to her sister's 'attention', she knew she had to.

And it gave her an idea.

"Throw out the rule book, huh?"

Elsa nodded, resting her head into Anna's shoulder. "It's a euphemism but yes; ditch common sense in favor of more direct satisfaction."

Anna tightened her grip on Elsa's hands. She was firm but gentle, indicating that she wanted the queen to remain where she was. She nestled herself into Elsa's chest and rubbed her cheek across her chin, slinking down a bit so she could look up at her big sister as she lay in her arms.

"OK," she said, "then here are some rules, since you're worried about making or breaking them. We'll keep it simple, alright?"

"Simple?"

"Yes. I'll ask you a question. You can only answer with a 'yes' or 'no'. Nothing else."

"Yes and no, only?"

"Exactly. And since I'm asking the questions, you'll know it wasn't something you planted in my head or forced on me. This will be my responsibility. OK?"

Elsa thought about it. What did she have to lose? It seemed simple enough.

"Alright…deal."

The princess reached up and pecked Elsa on the underside of her jaw. "Excellent. So…you love me, as a sister and much more; yes or no?"

Elsa grinned and rolled her eyes. "Gee, let me think…yes."

Anna scowled and wagged one finger near her waist. "One word answers only, THANK you very much."

The queen pecked Anna's cheek, lingering for a few seconds, before answering. "Yes."

Anna smiled. "Good. So given that fact, and how we're really in uncharted waters here, you're worried about 'sailing too far out' as it were?"

Elsa nodded, resting her face against Anna's head. "Yes."

"Is it because you're worried about what you might do?" Anna asked, very calm, very serious.

"…yes."

"It is because you might go too far?" Anna asked, holding Elsa tighter.

The queen didn't answer. She seemed purposefully silent.

"Elsa?"

"I'm sorry it just that…there is no one word answer to your question, I'm afraid."

Anna leaned into Elsa's arms. "I release your lips…wait, hold on a second…"

The princess turned her head, placing a gentle yet firm kiss on Elsa's mouth, feeling her insides light up again as Elsa sighed into Anna's lips.

She pulled back slowly, a satisfied grin across her face. "Ok, NOW, I release your lips. You are not bound by one word any longer. Tell me. Everything."

Elsa found her sister's encouragement very effective. Even if her next admittance was difficult to verbalize.

"Yes," she said, "but it's more than that. I mean, yes, I am worried about what I might do and yes I am worried about going too far. I admit, I don't exactly know what going too far IS. Some might say that what you and I are doing now is going much, much too far already. I can't help but think what might happen if we were caught or…SEEN like this. How would we explain it? How would they react? I know, it's all paranoia to a certain degree."

"Well maybe, yes, but I doubt anyone is going to look for us here…"

"Well besides that," Elsa said, trying to center herself again, "I'm worried about doing too much. Going too far out, as you said. But I'm more worried that I might be too far out already."

"Too far already?"

Elsa went silent. For a whole minute, Anna comforted the queen with her touch, but said nothing. She wasn't sure if more was coming.

She felt a tear drip onto her shoulder.

"Elsa?"

"What if I already crossed a line? What if I'm pretty sure I did?"

Anna held tightly to her sister. "Elsa what do you mean?"

It was another long silence before Elsa could muster up her voice and courage in tandem again.

"I shouldn't have spied on you," Elsa admitted through regretful tears and a wavering voice. "I shouldn't have looked at you when you thought you were alone. I shouldn't…I shouldn't've…"

Anna spun around, laying across Elsa's stomach and bringing her head into the crook of her neck. The motion was haphazard and sloppy, but Elsa welcomed the embrace as she lamented her actions. The two held tightly to one another, seemingly afraid that one of them might break away and vanish into one of the dusty corners of the forge.

Anna wanted to say so many things. But what she thought and felt was a thousand fold more complicated. Common sense knew that Elsa had meant no harm. But common sense also told the princess that her sister should, indeed, have known better. Her emotionally charged brain and body were elated to be in Elsa's arms, but the reminder of what Elsa had done only kicked the young woman in her gut a few times. Even now as she felt slathered in comfort and warmth from her beautiful queen, she found herself looking straight ahead at the darkened wall of the forge, thinking and contemplating and rationalizing and considering the slight against her privacy and trust, if that was indeed what it had been.

'This is ripping her up,' Anna thought. 'I can feel it, even though I'm holding her and refusing to leave her side, regardless, she is so angry at herself. I can't say that I blame her. I still kick myself for yelling at her during the coronation. Apples and oranges, I know, but I guess I'd be furious if…'

She stopped.

'Wait…why AREN'T I furious about this? I haven't even really thought about it since she told me. I was shocked and it took a few tries for me to really wrap my head around it, but overall I'm not freaking out, I'm not pulling my hair out over this any more than when she was watching me spar with the captain.'

The princess was sure she was missing something. She tried to force herself to get angry, get furious even. But it wouldn't come. Every time she tried to imagine herself angrily dismissing Elsa from the bathroom or fighting with her about such an obvious betrayal; it's the natural thing to do when someone intentionally invades your privacy. It would make total sense for Anna to reprimand and even yell at Elsa for what she'd done.

"So why am I more curious than angry?"

Elsa went stiff. "What?!"

Anna gasp and pulled away, almost a full two feet. She hated leaving Elsa's arms but her shock acted like a catapult.

"Oh my…was I, uh…did I say that out loud?"

Elsa tilted her head and wiped her wet cheeks. "Yes, you did, I think."

"Oh. Oh, uh…oh dear…"

"But only the one sentence I think. You didn't say anything else. Out loud, I mean."

"I see. Well. Alright. OK."

Elsa waited.

Anna waited.

The waiting was becoming deafening.

"Anna what is it?"

The princess rubbed her arms, looking down at her queen and wondering why she felt so nervous all of a sudden.

"Anna?"

"Maybe I am!"

"Huh?!"

Anna huffed and sank back on her haunches a bit. "Maybe I am more curious than angry. I mean it shook me, shocked me, yes, to know what you were watching me that day and didn't say so. And yeah, I mean, it's definitely something I should be livid over. I hate the idea of someone invading my privacy."

Elsa cringed and pulled back just enough to make it obvious. "O-oh…yes…"

Anna leaned forward. "So what does that say about me? Yes I've eavesdropped on a few conversation in my time and yes I'm sure I hovered around your door WAY too much when we were separated as kids, but I never considered it spying. You say that that's what you did and I'm hard pressed to agree with you. But why aren't I more angry?"

Elsa looked confused. "Well…you should be. I mean, I guess that would be natural."

"But I'm not!" Anna confessed, falling forward a bit and pressing into Elsa's stomach before lifting her head back. "I'm buzzing with shock and apprehension, but I'm not angry. I want to understand, more than I want to be angry."

Elsa made the cutest face Anna had seen in a while. She was bright pink and tried to hide her mouth as she sucked her lips between her teeth, but she couldn't escape the tea-kettle full of heat rising to her cheeks. "Oh, Gods, Anna…I don't know if I can explain, even ATTEMPT to explain. I'm so sorry and it all happened so quick and so long ago, I'm not sure if I can recapture details, I mean, at least in a way that might give you the answers you want."

The princess came upon an idea that shocked even her. Perhaps she was tired of all the interruptions, perhaps her curiosity was just too persistent to ignore anymore. But whatever the case, she'd found a very simple answer to her own question.

She just wasn't sure if she could 'pull it off', as it were.

"Come here," she said, leaning toward her fidgeting sister.

She came down and kissed her queen again. This time her tongue snuck forward and soothed the underside of Elsa's top lip, pulling it gently between her own. She peeked open a single eye and smiled as she observed Elsa's eyes drop closed like stage curtains. Anna gave herself a mental thumbs-up for remembering what her sister liked most when being kissed.

For five minutes, the princess calmed her queen.

When she pulled back, unexpectedly, Elsa's eyes opened up and saw confidence, apprehension and curiosity looking back at her, even as Anna's eyes darted to her left, towards the front of the room.

Elsa was shocked by what she said next. Almost as shocked as Anna was to say it.

"Lock the door."

It took a second, but Elsa managed to reestablish communication with her hand again. Without breaking eye contact, the queen gestured forcibly towards the doorframe of the forge. With a hiss and crackle, the queen filled the entranceway with five feet of ice, dense as steel and darkest green. Short of a cannon blast, nothing was getting through.

Before she could confirm if she had carried out Anna's wish correctly, the princess had removed herself from the queen and stood up.

She was now five feet away. Even though the light from the forge was dim and flickered all around the room, Elsa could see Anna perfectly. She was standing on the other side of one of the anvils, her arms folded and her posture slightly slouched.

She was nervous.

She stood firm. But was very clearly nervous.

'I can't believe I'm doing this…' she said inwardly, making sure her mouth was shut this time.

"Anna what are you—?"

"Just…please," Anna said, looking to Elsa and then to the floor. "Just stay. Where you are. And don't say anything. Until I say so. Alright?"

Elsa came to her feet but stayed where she was, her back to the wall. Every instinct she had screamed for her to go to her princess, calm her as she had been calmed herself. But she did as requested, brushing off her blouse and straightening her leggings. She wasn't looking forward to explaining to Gerda how her day clothes had become so smirched with soot.

When she looked up, she forgot who Gerda was or if she ever existed at all.

She was very careful, the princess. She'd tied the braces and cuffs at her ankles and wrists, so she knew exactly how to undo them with the pull of a single string. One needed to be careful when preparing for combat, even if it was simple sparring. If tied improperly, the loose clothing about her midsection would come undone without her knowledge, causing a tangle and disrupting the fluid motion of her arms as she dodged, blocked or struck her opponent. A simple constrictor knot held everything in place, but with a thumb and forefinger, she could slip the braided chord down its length and feel everything from her chest to her hips begin to give way. The same was true of her leggings; three simple loops kept her ankles and waistband in place. By now, she had become adept at removing her tactical garments so that she might bath and dress much more quickly, after her lessons. She could disrobe in fifteen seconds if she felt so inclined.

For obvious reasons, this instance would take just a bit longer.

"OK," she whispered to herself, gaining courage. "OK…"

She lifted her arms and pulled the loops at her wrists. The effect was dramatic, causing the material to bloom outward like sails caught in a high wind. With her face shockingly red and her legs fighting back the shakes, she let her tunic and shirt billow around her upper body and hang slack, falling past her hips and hiding her body all the way past her thighs. With her hands hidden, she unfastened the smaller knot at her hips, which caused her leggings to fall to her feet in a soft crumple of clothing. Her shoes she tucked at the heel and pulled free with her feet, pushing both of them and her leggings gently to one side. Though now an inch shorter, the princess stood impressively tall, the bunched, loose shirt and tunic at her chest and arms making her shoulders look broader. Stronger.

But her knees shivered so fiercely at first that she thought it a wonder that she didn't crumple into a pile of clicking bones.

Elsa watched with dry, unblinking eyes. She caught the brief glimpse of Anna's bare legs before they were quickly hidden once more. Watched her collarbone, speckled and shiny with sweat, as it flashed into view. Watched the princess press her lips together and look away, unsure and shy, though her hands were bold and resolute. It didn't seem real, this flickering display of clothing and blushing cheeks, perfectly lit by the coal fire.

But it was real. Too real.

"I'm not sure about this," Anna said softly, almost to herself. "But it feels…I mean, I feel that it's OK, like this. If it's with YOU, Elsa, then this is OK. If I can share this with you, then it's alright. It feels…right."

One more tug at the string near her collar and the laced shirt had nothing left to hold itself up. It yawned wide at the shoulders of the princess, held up only by her nervous fingers. Another few seconds of hesitation and those hands gave way, too. The last of Anna's clothing fell to the floor.

The queen felt a rush of heat fit to shame the sun.

"So," Anna