I was watching cartoons with my daughter and we were debating the merits of the various types of “Benders” from “The Last Air Bender.” For some reason most people like to focus on what power, superpower, or magical ability would be best in a fight. That always seems odd to me. I spend 99.99999% of my life NOT fighting.

Being able to hurl fireballs is essentially the most useless power I can think of outside of the fourth of July. And I just never cared about fireworks much anyway. I would prefer a power with more practical uses, something I could use in my day to day life.

Hense, waterbending… Or in my case Urinebending. The glorious ability to not have to get up in the middle of the night in a cold house to pee. A little bit of hand waving and a sweet release of pressure and then it’s back to sleep for me.

At age forty-one, I literally can’t think of anything better. I would use that power every single day of my life.

I want to be a Urinebender apparently. Also you’ve got to be impresses by both the size and gracefulness of my stream. That’s real urinebending skill.