Outwit a Mechanic

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Nobody likes to be fleeced by a greedy grease monkey, so arm yourself with knowledge to keep your mechanic from blinding you with science. Pick up a shop manual or subscribe to an online service like AllDataDIY.com. Even if you're stranded, you can still get a second opinion by phoning another shop and asking what it would charge for the same repair. If possible, hit the Web to price out parts your mechanic needs to replace. Don't be afraid to call him out under the guise of clueing him in to a good deal you saw. On major parts, markups of more than 25 percent should set off alarms. And ask your mechanic to keep the old pieces so he can show you what broke — for your own education, of course. This should keep him from faking a problem or from charging you for a new part and then simply repairing your old one.

Use a Slim Jim

If you rock a Nixon-era ride, you can pop the lock with a tool called a Slim Jim. Here's how:

1. Wedge a matchbook or rubber doorstop between the window glass and the outer rubber seal. This opens a gap to maneuver in without breaking the window or damaging the seal. 2. Insert your Slim Jim through the gap and feel around behind the keyhole for a plate called the tailpiece. You need to hook one of the tool's notches on it. 3. To unlock the door, you'll need to either push down or pull up on the Jim. You're trying to rotate the tailpiece and turn the lock cylinder. 4. If it doesn't rotate easily, it's probably one of the modern ones that will snap if forced — rendering the lock useless. Of course, you can always just smash the window.

Get 50 mpg in a Buick

They don't call Wayne Gerdes the king of the hypermilers for nothing. Not only can he pull 200 mpg in a Honda Insight but he can coax 59 miles per from a garden-variety Accord. Gerdes says no single technique will max your mileage. You need the whole toolbox: No brakes! In traffic, maintain a slow creep instead of accelerating and braking. Ignore the horns. Drive with the engine off. Shift into neutral, turn your key back a notch so the engine shuts down, then forward a click, so you can still have lights. Draft. Gerdes urged us not to reveal this (dangerous) move. But we trust you: Inch up behind, say, an 18-wheeler, and kill the engine as you enter its slipstream (you'll feel it). You're drafting now, getting pulled along by the truck's gas instead of your own.

Wire Your Car Stereo for an iPod

Driving with your headphones on is dangerous, and those FM adapters blow. Good thing it's easy to install an auxiliary jack that you can plug directly into your MP3 player.

1. Rip it out Most dash panels attach with screws or clips, so if you can't find screws, try pulling carefully or prying at the sides with a flathead screwdriver. Wrap the tip with tape to avoid scratches.

2. Find aux input Most aftermarket stereos have RCA jacks — those red and white female connectors — at the back for hooking up extra audio sources. Some factory-installed ones have 'em for a CD changer or satellite radio input. For some models you might need a special adapter, but it's gettable (Internet!).

3. Install a cable Ask the guys at RadioShack for a Y cable. This will connect those RCA jacks to your iPod's 3.5-mm stereo jack.

4. Find your spot Plug the cable into the RCA jacks and snake the plug to a convenient location — like inside the glove box or popping up from center console. (Be sure to leave some slack.) Don't drill any holes if you ever want to sell the car.

5. Put it back Replace the dash panel. Be careful not to crimp the new wires.

Change Your Oil

You don't need the Apple genius bar to swap out your RAM, so why waste $50 at Greasy Lube when you can swap out your own sludge?

Lift the car. Never trust a jack — drop $30 on a set of stands or ramps instead. Position a catch tub under the oil pan and unscrew the drain plug.

Remove the oil filter. You should be able to loosen it by hand, but if you're too much of a wuss, you can buy a $5 oil filter wrench at any auto parts store.

Smear some clean oil onto the new filter's rubber seal and screw it into place. Hand-tighten it only — if you strip the threads it'll cost a mint in repairs.

Reinstall the drain plug and pour in the new stuff. Your manual knows what kind to use and how much.

Run your car for 30 seconds to circulate the oil. Then check the dipstick to gauge the level. Remember: Overfilling is just as bad as underfilling.

Recycle! Most auto parts chains or repair shops should take the old sludge off your hands and not charge you a dime.

Make a Glowstick

Ingredients: 2 liters distilled water, 50 milliliters hydrogen peroxide (3 percent concentration), 0.2 gram luminol, 4 grams sodium carbonate, 0.4 gram copper sulfate pentahydrate, 0.5 gram ammonium carbonate. You can order the chemicals online at Science Stuff. In a medium-size mixing bowl (fig. 1), add the hydrogen peroxide to 1 liter of water. In another bowl, dissolve the luminol, sodium carbonate, copper sulfate, and ammonium carbonate in the second liter of water. Lay out a few sealable, clear containers — test tubes with stoppers or Nalgene bottles are good. Pour in equal measures of each solution (fig. 2) — and watch with glee as it lights up (fig. 3). The hydrogen peroxide solution oxidizes the luminol, producing 3-amino phthalic acid. As its electrons settle to a more sedate quantum state, they emit photons at wavelengths between 430 and 470 nanometers — purplish blue.

Camp With Less Gear

Being a hardcore backcountry trekker requires a tolerance for discomfort. We don't have that. Les Stroud, star of TV's Survivorman, does. So we asked him for the secret to toughing it in the wild. His answer: Don't take a lot of stuff — just take the right stuff. What's that? Start with a butane lighter or flint-and-striker kit to make a fire — first priority is staying warm, dry, and fed. A light tarp will suffice for shelter. You'll need a flashlight to set up camp at night. And bring at least two full sets of layered clothing (one you wear, one in a water proof bag), so you always have dry duds. If you're going to rely on finding your food, fishing is more dependable than hunting and gathering; bring a good collapsible rod and a set of lures (you can forage for bait). You'll want a small camping pot to boil stream water. Look for one with a locking lid and a hook so you can suspend it from a tripod over a fire. Oh, and bring a friend. There's an undeniable romance in braving the wilderness alone, but a buddy can save your life if something goes wrong. And anyway, the best trips are usually the ones you share.

Acquire Crap Online

On eBay, try a sniper, an app that automatically places a bid seconds before an auction ends. Use UnWired Buyer to bid from your cell phone. Set up a list of criteria on Craig2Mail and the site will send you an email alert when matches hit craigslist. Even better, try Jesse Saccoccios' free craigslist RSS reader, downloadable at Konfabulator. Aggregator services like Oodle let you search thousands of sites, from eBay to local newspapers, in a single pass. College grads unload their stuff dirt cheap before decamping. LiveDeal can search classified ads in the vicinity of specific universities. Buy seized property from PoliceAuctions.com.

Unload Crap Online

Time your eBay auctions so they end on a Sunday between 4 and 10 pm Pacific time to maximize eyeballs. Photograph your item with a decent digital camera. Build shipping and insurance costs into your sales price. Be candid about your product's flaws; people like dealing with a straight shooter. If you have a lot of related goods, invest $50 a month in an eBay store. You'll be a mogul! Craigslist isn't the only free option. Use Oodle to cross-post ads on Lycos, Local.com, and Backpage.com. If collectibles like Beanie Babies are your thing, check out MetaExchange. But it can get zany, so try the site's Practice Trading Floor first.

Decorate Like a Pro

Why doesn't your apartment look like those fancy TV houses? Because you can't afford Todd Oldham, the celebrity-designer host of TV's Top Design. We pinged him for some tips.

1. Mix two shades. The laws of interior design say you should never mix different shades of the same color — especially not green. Ignore them. Trimming a pastel with a darker tint says confident, not clueless. 2. Think big. Don't pick small pieces for small spaces; that creates clutter. Instead, stretch the visual space with one or two large items — like an oversize headboard. "Fewer gestures is a great idea, especially in bedrooms," Oldham says. 3. Show some wires. People do ugly things trying to hide their cables and cords. But in a clean space, a few exposed wires just make the place look lived in. 4. Work the walls. If you're renting, think of your security deposit as a "creativity fee" — and then go to town. For example, use strips of adhesive shelf paper (especially wood grains) on your kitchen walls and cabinets to make a motif that brings the space together. 5. Be crafty. If you're stuck with fluorescents — "the ugliest light in the world," Oldham says — sheath them in plastic tubing to create the "poor man's neon." Or try leaving half the tube exposed and alternating 6-inch strips of pink and orange over the other half. "It'll look like it's always 5 o'clock in your house."

Say 3 Essential Sentences, Phonetically, in French, Spanish, and Mandarin

Help! I need the… police, doctor, US embassy/consulate, bathroom. French: Oh skoor! Eel muh foh… lah poh-leess, luh mayd-ssan, ah lahn-bah-sahd ah-may-ree-kehn, lay twah-leht. Spanish: Soh-koh-roh! Nehs-ehs-ee-toh… lah poh-lee-see-yah, ehl meh-dee-koh, ahl kohn-soo-lah-doh nohr-tay-ah-mehr-ee-kah-noh, ehl bah-nyoh. Mandarin: Ching bangbangmang! Wah she-yow… jow jincha, kahn ee-shung, maygooah leen-sheh-gooahn.

I'm not an American. I'm Canadian. French: Zhuh nuh swee zah-may-ree-kahn (m) -kehn (f). Zhuh swee kah-nah-dyan (m) -dyehn (f). Spanish: Noh soy nohr-tay-ah-mehr-ee-kah-noh. Soy kah-nah-dyehn-say. Mandarin: Wah boosheh may gooah ren. Wah sheh jianada ren.

Does anyone here speak English? French: Eel yah kehl-kuhn ee-see kee pahrl ahn-gleh? Spanish: Ah-ee ahl-ghee-ehn ah-kee kay hah-blah een-glays? Mandarin: Nee shuo ying wen mah?

Get a Deal on Your Cell Phone Contract

A typical contract is a two-year program of monthly reamings. Defend yourself: Pick a handset that all the majors offer — Razr, not iPhone. Find out if your carrier's call center has better terms, and use this info to finagle a better deal from your local electronics retailer. Record conversations with the call center; get in-store offers in writing. If the carrier reneges, say you have a blog and you're not afraid to use it.

Bribe Someone

Preemptive tippers (please — bribe is such an ugly word) know that long lines and bad seats are for rubes.

Stare. Seriously. Eye contact makes you look like you have nothing to hide.

Smile. Conduct your transaction openly.

Practice. Don't underestimate the importance of a well-executed palm-to-palm C-note transfer.

Disconnect. You give someone dollars. You make a request. What does one have to do with the other?

Relax. Successful payola depends on how you playola. Act as if you've done this a thousand times. It makes the target more pliable.

Get a Boost in the Blogosphere

Nothing gives you a quick psychic lift like seeing your post or comment on a social content site voted to the top of the thread. Dazzle the masses: Heed these tips and get modded up on Slashdot or enthusiastically Dugg.

Be first. Your odds of getting props plunge in direct proportion to how late you enter the conversation. Humor is an effective weapon. "Being a smart-ass will get you further than being smart," says Slashdot founder Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda, with perhaps a trace of sadness. A clever turn of phrase, confined to a single sentence, is most admired. Bonus points, of course, if you can work in a Simpsons or Idiocracy reference. Witty innuendo? Yes. Outright puerility? Negative. Digg and Slashdot readers fancy themselves more sophisticated than the meatheads who tormented them in high school. Understand the audience. On Slashdot, you'll get no love for trashing Macs, Linux, or the Nintendo Wii, no matter how clever your argument. On Digg, slag medical marijuana and defend the Bush administration at your peril. Provide vital info if a cited article lacks it (and link to your source). Everyone appreciates a commenter who can point out the foibles of the mainstream media (like how they're always reducing complicated issues to short, bullet-pointed lists).

Order a Drink

Life is too short to let indecision or inexperience cut into your drinking. When you belly up to the bar, it's go time.

1. Watch your timing. Friday night when the bar is four people deep is not the moment to admire the flavored vodka selection. This isn't a social call; this is business.

2. Know what you want. Unless you're getting wine, do not ask for recommendations. It exposes you as an amateur. Be ready to order.

3. Start a tab. Have your credit card ready. If you hold everything up digging for your plastic, you can kiss a long pour or free drink good-bye.

4. Never order Long Island iced teas. No Jägermeister shots. Nothing with sex in the name. And never, never anything requiring a food processor. Gauge the patience and biceps strength of your bartender before requesting drinks that involve muddling, such as mojitos.

5. Know your bar. Places with no top-shelf selection are not where you should be ordering Chardonnay. Get a well drink. Places with bartenders in white coats, standing behind arrays of silver cocktail shakers and freshly cut fruit, are good places to order martinis. Or Negronis. Try a Negroni.

6. Alternate rounds. Buy a drink for everyone in your party; graciously accept one for yourself. But don't deploy a round just to pick someone up — that's cheesy.

7. Get a free drink by tipping well at the start of the evening ($1 per cocktail is the bare minimum). Be friendly with the bartender but not needy. Use references: If you know a regular — who just happens to be the hottest woman in the room — say so. Better yet, be the hottest woman in the room.

Get Backstage at a Concert

Finally, you've made it to the show of your dreams. Now it's time to meet the band. If you're not a groupie or a music biz insider, there's only one surefire way to get behind the scenes: Woo the opening act. Before the show, do your research by checking out the opener's Web site and label. Actually, you know, listen to their music so you have something to say about it. Show up in time to see their set, and be enthusiastic about their performance. Often, the opening act heads to the show floor to watch the headliner. This is your chance. Start with a compliment, but don't get all freaky or stalker-y. Offer them something — controlled substances, including but not limited to tobacco and alcohol, will quickly endear you to many musicians, or so we are told. Here's the key move: All performers want to be rock stars, but openers rarely have roadies. When they return backstage to pack up, offer to lend a hand. Once you're in, you're in.

Bake a Wii Cake

You rock at Wii Sports, but Wii baking? That takes a little more practice — especially if you want to make a ginormous cake like the one on our cover. Here are a few pointers for creating the perfect confectionery console. Serve with Mii sugar cookies and chocolate milk for extra points.

1. Prepare two sheet cakes, but — critical tip — omit the baking soda. You're building narrow and high, so you need dense, structural material. Chill overnight in the refrigerator.

2. Carve the rough shapes of the Wii, the base, and the remote, and stand the Wii piece upright. While they're still separate, frost everything with butter cream icing (heavy on the egg whites). Let dry. Chill for an hour in the freezer. Then — second critical tip — give the Wii another coat of buttercream for more solidity.

3. Place the base on a serving platter. Roll out fondant icing to a quarter-inch thick and drape it over the base, then trim. Fold fondant around the remote, too, and trim.

4. Make buttons out of fondant cutouts, stuck on with melted chocolate. Or use buttercream instead, piping it on with a round-tipped pastry bag.

5. Use metallic luster dust dissolved in a little orange or lemon extract to paint on your arrows and writing. Or use a little melted chocolate. Let dry for half an hour.

6. Third critical tip: Internal reinforcement is key. Insert straws (trimmed to below the frosting line) inside the base to add rebar-like strength. Put the Wii on top of the base and poke dowels or a few more straws vertically through the whole thing.

7. Do not eat! Your Wii cake is full of sticks and, absent the baking soda, will taste like old Atari cartridges.

Make Ice Cream Like a Mad Scientist

Ingredients: 3 liters liquid nitrogen, 1 pint heavy cream, 1 pint milk, cup sugar, vanilla, fruit puree or other flavors of your choosing. 1. Buy the liquid N 2 ($25) from an industrial gas supply company. Or cadge some off your friendly neighborhood scientist — they've got that stuff on tap, and they'll have the container to keep it at minus 320.4 degrees Fahrenheit. Don't touch the nitrogen! It's frostbite in a can. 2. Mix the sugar into the milk and cream. Add fruit, jam, chocolate, whatever. Try flash-freezing drops of flavoring in the N 2 and adding the resulting chunks to the mix. 3. Pour the milk mixture into the bowl of a standard 6-quart mixer set on the lowest speed. Slowly add the N 2 . Cackle as huge clouds of cold-sublimating gas billow forth. After about 5 minutes, the mix will turn stiff, light, and creamy-looking. Eat.

Illustrations by Bruce Hutchinson