A cat + bird is a paradox, an apparent contradiction, a sort of impossibility. A fusion of opposites, a freak. I’ve taught two classes and written a handful of papers dealing with these as definitions of “the grotesque,” and still they fascinate me. As Flannery O’Connor wrote, “the freak is a figure for our essential displacement.” In other words, things that are off in some way remind us that the world is a bit out of sync.

When I stop to think about it, I find myself full of such freakish contradictions. I’m a pacifist who eats cheeseburgers, a former missionary in love with an atheist, an English major who says “ain’t.” I’m a nearly-tenured instructor at a community college who really just wants to write my own damn novels. I’m a Southerner who’s lived abroad, a spiritual person who can’t find a religion, a woman with six suitcases full of life experience who still feels like the ugly kid on the first day of school.

Of course, a “catbird seat” is also, technically, an enviable position or placement at great advantage. As in, “I bought Microsoft stock in 1987 and am now in the fabled catbird seat.” My “enviable position,” if one could call it that, is the fact that I’m stuck at the junction of so many of these opposing forces, and I can see the strength on both sides. I’m fascinated by what happens when opposites get stuck together. And I’m very good at paying attention.

So, what does any of this tell you about what The Catbird Seat is about? Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. As to the kind of content I’ll be posting…let’s just say it will include a bit of fiction here and there. Maybe a poem or two. Perhaps I’ll use myself as a lab rat to test out some new writing exercise. Likely there will be a cache of observa-rants about teaching. When I must rant, I don’t promise not to pick on my students or co-workers or public education – only that I’ll do it anonymously.

The posts I already have up so far are a grab bag of pieces, some old and some new. Maybe if I stick with this long enough I’ll find something approaching consistency of focus. Or maybe not. Why seek in the blogosphere what I haven’t found in real life?

All I really expect is to keep being fascinated by weird, messed-up, full-of-grace, once-in-a-universe stuff. If any of that sounds a bit interesting, pull up a post and read for a while.

Credits

Catbird image borrowed from artist Katherine Patterson here.

Header image is detail of a Mary McCleary collage called Sehnsucht (Longing). See the whole thing here.