JEREMY Corbyn has argued that if deckchairs on the Titanic had been properly arranged it would have successfully completed its journey.

The Labour leader believes that a placement of deckchairs according to principle, not short-term pragmatism, backed by a substantial majority of third-class passengers would have made hull damage irrelevant.

He continued: “People talk about the Titanic as if it was doomed from the moment it hit that iceberg, when it was a marvellous opportunity to reconfigure seating to reduce inequality on board.

“Positioning first-class passengers toward the ship’s stern and redistributing third-class passengers into the ballroom would have seen the Titanic proudly and fairly sailing into New York.

“But instead the wealthy selfishly put their own survival above the good of the collective. If only I had been there.”

Corbyn added: “I, of course, would’ve placed myself at the ship’s bow supporting Diane Abbott while declaring myself to be the people’s representative of the world.

“I have a clear mandate to do so.”