Greetings. How many thousands of words have you read in preparation for the coming college football season? Aren’t you sick of reading paragraphs?

Yes, that’s right, I got rid of the copypasted intro paragraph because apparently the new editor doesn’t have a minimum number of words an article must have.

So here’s some dumb jokes I made in MS Paint.

No Northwestern this week. Sorry. nothing interesting. Also no Minnesota. What, have you not gotten enough fawning coverage of PJ Fleck yet? Coach a game or something.