Scott Adams is a smart, attractive, and single cartoonist with a six pack who believes coffee is the best drug (or at least in the top 3).

Mr. Adams (no relation to Bryan Adams), the creator of Dilbert, is a lifelong student of persuasion who has gained newfound notoriety for writing extensively about Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump's persuasion abilities. Mr. Adams describes Trump as a "Master Persuader" whose tactics are "weapons grade."

Mr. Adams has has not taken sides in the election. In fact, he does not vote (although he believes you should). However, he has endorsed Hillary Clinton for his personal safety (being perceived as a Trump supporter is dangerous in California).

Team Clinton has enlisted the help of a powerful persuader known only as "Godzilla." With Godzilla's aid, Team Clinton will win the presidential election unless something massive occurs. This "something massive" includes Mr. Adams choosing sides.

That is why we ask Scott Adams to effectively become Megaguirus. Not as powerful as Godzilla, but strong enough to make a difference when Godzilla is already fighting King Kong.

A Clinton Presidency would mean retribution against all the cartoonists who supported or seemingly supported Trump. Even if they endorsed Hillary for their safety. Police would not want to protect said cartoonists for fear of incurring the ire of Clinton's BLM crowd.

Now, Scott, you're probably thinking that the probability of Trump being a great president is low. Plus he's a 70-year-old under the influence of his meds (as is Hillary). But keep in mind that with Trump you have at least a possibility of something being done about the national debt. Whereas with Hillary we know we'll see the same policy we've had for years.

Also, if you jump in now when Trump is in a hole and Trump ends up winning as a result of your efforts, you will be known as the best persuader in the world. Or at least one of the best. Bur probably the best.

Just imagine how valuable that would be to a smart, attractive man with a startup.

Plus, you like Trump. He reminds you of the kind of people you knew growing up in New York. You like his systems approach to politics and you believe his persuasive skills would be a major asset to our country. And you think he's huuugely entertaining. Do you really want to hear and watch Hillary Clinton for the next 4-8 years? I bet your testosterone levels are going down just thinking about it.

Face it, Scott. You want to get on Team Trump. You're just looking for a reason to do so. Let this petition be that reason. Or if you need extra motivation, we who sign this petition will collectively pay to send the attractive female celebrity of your choice to your mansion if you join Team Trump.

Come on, Scott. You know you want to.