You’d think it’d be easy to find your chosen family and feel like you belong in a community where everyone has struggled to come out, but side-eyes and thoughts of “these kweens” often times dominate over a friendly hello.

Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey along with his gay friends discuss why it can be hard to connect with other gay people and steps you can take to finally find and keep your tribe.

Matthew Dempsey is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice based in Los Angeles, CA where he focuses on gay men’s issues. Matthew’s also been featured as an expert on Nancy Grace, Buzzfeed, and has a pretty dope instagram account tbh.