Author's Note: My characters' views on The Stu Erwin Show in no way represent my own non-existent views on it.

Trigger Warning: Attempted sexual assault, character death

'The Way You Look Tonight' belted from the record player as Rapunzel and Anna discussed their favorite albums nearby over cocktails. It was a discussion they'd had time and again, to the point that either could have given the other's answer to each question, but they enjoyed going back over it while they listened to the music. Rapunzel's red dress complimented Anna's green. Kristoff and Hans's wives, Lillian and Caroline, were at the minibar mixing themselves drinks.

Thomas sat in the kitchen eating hors d'ouvres with Kristoff and Hans. Rapunzel's husband, Eugene, was going to be late, as he was held up at work. Anna had prepared a spread of deviled eggs, gelatin, club sandwiches, meatballs kept warm in a grape jelly sauce, and cubes of honeydew melon. They all nursed martinis. "Why aren't we watching your new T.V.?" Kristoff asked, taking a bite from a sandwich.

"Because you're not getting crumbs in the living room, that's why," Thomas explained, indicating the crumbs already caking the large man's shirt.

Hans chuckled lightly, eyeing the doctor. "The ball and chain won't let you eat out there?"

"Please," Thomas sighed. "If she had her way we'd eat all of our meals in front of the television. No one appreciates a proper meal anymore. Sit, eat, there's nothing good on right now anyway."

"Hey, I like 'The Stu Erwin show!'" Kristoff insisted, prompting a snicker from Hans.

"'Mama' starts in about twenty minutes, we can all watch that," Thomas offered. The show always made Anna and him homesick, but it was an enjoyable program.

"That weird show about the Norwegian family?" Kristoff asked. "We're not going to watch 'The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet?'"

"I think you'll live," Hans snorted.

"I wanted to know what Harriet's hair color was!"

"Maybe we'll flip over to it during a commercial," Thomas offered, picking at a meatball.

Hans finished his martini and left the room without a word, to procure another drink. "He's putting away those drinks tonight, isn't he?" Kristoff observed.

"That was only his second," Thomas replied defensively, finishing his own second drink.

"I guess," Kristoff shrugged. "Just seems like something's on his mind, and he's barely touched the food."

"Well I think you're touching it enough for the both of you," Thomas chortled. "I'm going to go get another drink too." He rose from his seat and went to the other room. He saw Hans and Caroline having a heated discussion while Hans put away his new drink. After their argument, Caroline stormed over to attempt to discuss music with Anna and Rapunzel, but her insistence on the superiority of Nat King Cole over Sinatra was meeting substantial resistance. Thomas shrugged and continued on his way to the minibar, and mixed himself up another martini. Kristoff's wife, Lillian, grabbed Hans before he had a chance to get himself yet another drink, asking him about the fight he'd been having with his wife, and insisting that they normally seemed so happy together.

"Honey!" Anna called, waving him over.

He approached, sipping casually at the drink. "Yes, dear?" He knew he was about to be roped into the music debate and had no stomach for it.

"Who do you think is better? Nat King Cole or Frank Sinatra?" Anna asked, giving him a look that suggested he wouldn't be enjoying her company tonight if he gave the wrong answer.

He called her bluff. "Dean Martin."

Anna grumbled.

Rapunzel smirked, "Hey, he's still part of the Rat Pack, so I'm taking it as our win."

"I guess," Anna agreed, still pretending to be more irritated than she actually was.

"Oh come on," Caroline continued insisting. "Sinatra is just a thug! He's such an unsavory character, how could he be the best musician?"

"Last I checked we weren't arguing who we'd want as our minister," Anna reasoned. "If an artist isn't troubled then they're barely even an artist."

"Well I don't want to be listening to someone who my children couldn't respect!"

Anna, Thomas, and Rapunzel all exchanged looks. They had never taken Caroline for the type to consider Nat King Cole respectable. Her strangely progressive attitude was refreshing, but seemed at odds with her WASPy persona. "How about Sammy Davis Jr.?" Thomas prodded, checking to see if this attitude carried over.

"Sammy Davis Jr. is the one member of the Rat Pack I do really appreciate," she agreed.

The three exchanged another perplexed look. "I think I have a Nat King Cole record around here somewhere," Anna decided after a few moments. She searched through the shelves under the record player, going through the complete Sinatra collection, Elsa's Dean Martins, a few Sammy Davis Jrs, and individual records from a number of artists. When she was done, Unforgettable sang out, in the smooth baritone of Nat King Cole.

Caroline grinned, swaying to the music. "Oh, I love this song! Hans, won't you come dance with me?"

Hans looked over from the mini-bar where he had been mixing another drink. Thomas wondered how many he had actually had now. "I'm busy dear, can't you dance with Anna?"

"Oh, I would love to," she grinned. "I hope you don't mind if I take your date, I promise you can have mine," she added, winking at Thomas as she dragged Anna away from any furniture.

Thomas walked over to Hans, continuing to savor his drink. "If you'll forgive me, I think I'd rather sit out this dance."

Hans blinked before meeting Thomas's gaze. "You couldn't keep up with me anyway," he sniped.

"Oh really?" Thomas smiled. Hans was in an interesting mood today. "I'll have you know I can out-dance anyone."

"Care to prove it?" Hans asked, extending his hand. Thomas stared down at it. He was beginning to think that Kristoff had been right; something had gotten into Hans.

"Oh, all right," he sighed, taking the redhead's proffered hand. "Step on my toes and I'll break your nose."

"Just try to keep up," Hans breathed, leading Thomas in a dance. Anna and Thomas exchanged looks as their dance partners spun them. Rapunzel clapped eagerly and dragged Lillian to join the others in their dance. Kristoff was presumably still helping himself to the food in the kitchen.

When the song ended, it took Hans a moment to release his friend. He was clearly quite drunk already, and there was something in his eyes that Thomas couldn't quite shake. The green spheres seemed to be staring hungrily into his very soul. It made Thomas feel quite naked, which was never a good feeling when you had so much to hide. Thomas quickly pulled away and mixed himself another drink, trying to shake the feeling that there was something going on in the redheaded man's mind.

Anna noticed the time, and summoned everyone to watch the show. Kristoff came running in from the kitchen, his shirt covered in even more crumbs and stained with the mixture of jam and barbecue sauce. He sat down on the foot rest in front of the chair his wife was sitting in. Thomas and Anna both took a spot on the couch, with Anna pushed against the armrest once Hans and Caroline joined them. Rapunzel sat on the armrest by Anna. "Eugene doesn't know what he's missing," Anna sighed.

"He'll make it eventually," Rapunzel insisted. "Work always keeps him so late."

"Shh," Kristoff added. "I'm watching the show."

"I thought you were insisting we should watch Ozzie and Harriet," Hans chided him, his speech slightly slurred as he downed another drink. "Do you even know what we're watching?"

"Shh!" Kristoff repeated.

They settled in and watched the episode. Everyone ooed and aahed at the impressive realism provided by the color set. At the commercial, they did as Kristoff begged and he finally got to see what 'The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet' looked like in color. "Wow," he breathed."

Hans rolled his eyes and went to get another drink. "Grab me one too," Thomas called.

"You don't think you've had enough?" Anna whispered.

"After that dance I'm not sure I'll have ever had enough," Elsa admitted, her voice slipping out for a moment in Anna's ear. "I swear he saw through me. There was something in his eyes, like there was a secret that he knew. I think he knows that I'm really," she gestured, not willing to say the words aloud even in a whisper.

"That's ridiculous," Anna replied, lowering her voice even further, though the sound of the commercial and the mixed conversation of the guests ensured that they remained unheard. "There's no way he'd have noticed anything, you look... Well, you look like Thomas. You look like my husband, there's nothing that he could have noticed. He's just really drunk, that's probably all it is."

Elsa didn't look convinced, but Thomas turned his attention back to the TV, and the brief slip of the disguise had been fixed.

"What was that about?" Caroline asked, leaning over to Thomas as the show resumed.

Thomas's eyes widened. She hadn't heard anything, but he needed a plausible lie. Fortunately, he had improved in that area substantially since he was a little girl. "I couldn't remember what happened last week, was just asking her to remind me."

"It's not like it matters, right?" she laughed. "It's a different thing every time."

Thomas shrugged. "I'd still rather know than not."

Hans took his seat beside Thomas again. He handed him his drink, his hand brushing the blond's leg as he pulled it back and nursed his own. Thomas took a sip, ignoring the other man's clumsiness. Hans had mixed a strong drink, it was practically just gin. He resisted draining the glass.

When the show was over, Lillian stretched and tugged on Kristoff, indicating the door. Kristoff looked at her, silently pleading. She shook her head. He stuck his lower lip out and continued to stare. "Kristoff, you have to get to bed, we should head home. It was lovely seeing all of you," she added, as she dragged him to the door. Everyone else rose to see them out.

As they climbed into their car, another vehicle pulled in, and Eugene came running up the driveway, his shirt untucked and his tie loose. "Hey, sorry, I'm late, the party isn't over yet, is it?" he asked, looking to the two who were in the act of leaving.

"Not yet," Anna decided. "Not everyone has an 8:30 bedtime," she laughed.

"Well I could certainly go for some more drinks then," Hans announced, heading back inside. Rapunzel was thrilled by her husband's sudden appearance and was hugging him tightly. Thomas followed Hans to the mini-bar while Anna showed the TV to the new arrival.

"You sure you need another drink?" Thomas asked of his friend. "You're already barely upright."

"Oh, I assure you I can remain perfectly upright even now," Hans proclaimed. "Would you like another?"

Thomas stared hesitantly at the drinks. They were now out of rum. "Sure, make me a grasshopper," he decided, the lowered inhibitions allowing him to drink what he would normally consider too feminine a cocktail for this persona.

"Really?" Hans raised an eyebrow questioningly. "I love them, I'll make two."

Anna, Rapunzel, and Eugene sat on the couch enraptured by the plot of the new 'Dark of Night' episode, all occasionally venturing guesses as to the culprit. Caroline sat on the chair nearby, watching silently.

Hans and Thomas went to the kitchen to enjoy their drinks and have some of what little food Kristoff may have left untouched. The smorgasbord was substantially reduced, but the only thing that was completely absent now was the meatballs. Thomas helped himself to one of his wife's sandwiches. "Never figured you for the type," Hans said, as if they were in the middle of a conversation.

"What type?" Thomas asked, his half-eaten sandwich still an inch from his mouth.

Hans indicated their chocolatey cocktails. "To drink grasshoppers. I always figured you more for a gin and tonic."

Thomas felt like there was some hidden message in the words that he was missing, but he only shrugged in response and continued to eat his sandwich. A lifetime of imitating men had taught him that silence was always an acceptable answer.

Hans sat down across from him and sipped at his cocktail. They heard gasps from the other room in reaction to some big reveal in the show. "So how did you figure it out?" Hans asked.

"Figure out what? Who the killer was in the show? I haven't been watching," Thomas reminded him.

"I mean how did you figure out," Hans gestured vaguely toward him, leaving Thomas quite certain that his secret was at least partially discovered. He was only surprised it had taken so long.

"How did you figure it out?" Thomas hazarded, flipping the question on his friend. He was surprised at how well he was taking it.

"I'd always kind of hoped," he awkwardly explained, the liquor giving him courage while slurring his words. "I mean you're just so pretty."

That settled it. Thomas had been found out. "You haven't told anyone, right?"

"No, of course not, I know how to keep a secret, really, you know me. I swear, I haven't told a soul."

Thomas released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He was still safe. "Thank you, that means a lot," he confessed. "I thought maybe Caroline knew with how she was acting."

"She's a clever lady, I'm sure she's figured a few things out in her time, but if she knows then she didn't get it from me. We're friends, we look out for each other, no one is going to tell your secret, Thomas. Come now, you know better than that. Though I have been wondering, does Anna know?"

Thomas stared at the other man. He couldn't wrap his mind around how he could have theoretically managed to hide the truth from Anna for so long, even if they hadn't known each other their entire lives. "Of course she knows," he explained. "It would be kind of hard to hide it from her."

"Don't I know it?" Hans laughed. He finished off his drink. "Well my glass appears to be empty. Would you like another as well?"

Thomas studied his drink. He had already had far too much, but he was starting to wonder if he really needed to watch his inhibitions at this point, if his secret was truly out. Maybe he had really found people that he could trust. "You know what, I will have another," he decided, following Hans to the other room and joining his wife on the couch.

Everyone drank more, and mindlessly watched more of the color television. By ten o'clock, however, Rapunzel and Eugene had been yawning throughout the entirety of 'Tales of Tomorrow,' despite it having been a rather interesting episode that kept Anna riveted during its run. "We should really get going," Rapunzel proposed.

Anna looked at her friend, as the credits ended for the science fiction program. "Are you sure? Eugene just got here, it's not that late."

"It's ten o'clock, honey," Thomas interjected. "Let them get some sleep."

"It was great seeing you all, sorry I couldn't stay for long," Eugene said as they walked to the door. Everyone said their farewells, and Rapunzel and Eugene drove off, dropping the party down to four.

Anna and Caroline decided to resume comparing their tastes in music. They searched through the small record collection, arguing over the merits of each artist. Hans and Thomas exchanged glances and shrugged. They both had their own tastes in music, but lacked the passion that their wives carried for the subject.

Hans started to walk towards the bar again, but almost fell, as his intoxication finally caught up to him. Thomas caught him and helped him into a chair. "Maybe you ought to lay off the drinks for the rest of the night," Thomas suggested.

"I'll be fine," Hans insisted. "I just tripped." He righted himself, as Thomas stood ready, waiting to catch him again when he fell. To Thomas's surprise, Hans did not. He managed to stand without issue. "You know I can handle my drink." He shoved Thomas's hands away and began to head back to procure himself another libation. Thomas searched around for the drink he had left at the couch a few minutes earlier. It was empty. He resisted joining his friend, and decided that he had actually had enough for the night.

The two housewives finally agreed on an album, and soon 'I'm Getting Sentimental Over You' warbled out from the record player. It was one of Anna's oldest albums and its previous owner had not been kind to it. Thomas had bought it for her when they purchased her first record player at a pawn shop. Caroline tapped the beat out with her foot while she swayed to the music.

As the music crept into them, Anna turned up the volume and resumed dancing with her previous dance partner. She and Caroline foxtrotted along to the song, while their husbands looked on and chuckled. "Would you care for another dance?" Hans proposed.

Thomas eyed the other man suspiciously. "I think you'd fall again. Anyway, I need to go to the bathroom, you'll have to sit out this dance," he answered, as he left his friend alone and retreated up the stairs to the master bedroom and its bathroom.

Elsa could still hear the song and laughter from downstairs as she washed her hands. She wondered what Hans was really after. He had been a good friend to her, but she still couldn't quite believe that he'd do nothing with this knowledge. She wondered what had given her away.

She saw the door slide open in the mirror and turned, expecting Anna. Her eyes met a different redhead than the one she expected. "Hans, what are you –" she began to ask.

He fell towards her and she tried to catch him again. Only, he wasn't falling. He grabbed her and pulled her to him, their lips meeting. Elsa attempted to push him off of her, but he held on tight. She felt his tongue press against her lips but she held fast. Only later did it occur to her that if she just opened up she could have bit his tongue off and ensured this came to an early conclusion. Instead she only pushed back, as he pushed her against the wall, pinning her with nowhere to go. His arms fastened hers to the wall as his legs pressed up against her, pushing himself into the embrace with all his might. When he had finished the kiss, he stared hungrily into her eyes, the same look she'd seen when they first met, the one that reminded her of every girl that had yearned for her in college.

"Get off me!" she exclaimed, her voice coming out too high for Thomas.

"Oh Thomas," he insisted, "I've wanted this for so long. Now that I know it's possible, I just can't wait anymore."

"Hans, you're drunk. Our wives are downstairs, what are you thinking?" Elsa attempted, in as calm a voice as she could manage when she could feel him pressing against her thigh.

"Thomas, they'll never hear a thing over their music. You can be as loud as you want."

Elsa attempted to bring a knee up, but she was pinned to the wall by the banker. "Just stop, I'll forget this happened. You were just incredibly drunk, just sleep it off, and we can pretend this never happened."

"But I don't want to pretend this never happened, I've been wanting this to happen for so long. I know you've wanted it too. Just give in. Give in to your desire," he whispered, his lips a mere inch from Elsa's ear.

"I don't have any desire to give in to," Elsa insisted. "I love my wife."

"Of course, we both love our wives," Hans agreed. "Just like we both have needs that only a man's touch can solve. I see it now, I don't know how I was so blind all this time. You're just like me."

Elsa tried to wrap her head around the drunk man's insane ramblings. "What are you talking about?! Just let me go."

She felt his hand on her thigh. She took a swing at him with her now-free arm, but he brought his hand back up and caught it. He was surprisingly agile for someone as drunk as he should be at this point. "Are you shy, Thomas?" he laughed. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle."

"Please stop," she whispered, unable to manage any more than those two words. Her strength left her. There was nothing she could do. He would take whatever he wanted, and if she tried to tell anyone then he would just spill her secret.

"Stop playing hard to get, I know you want this as badly as I do. Or maybe I should check." Elsa felt his hand slide down her stomach, heading agonizingly southward towards her crotch. She pleaded silently for him to stop as tears filled her eyes.

He arrived at his destination. As he slid his hand down her pants, his expression formed a look of shock. Elsa watched through her tears in confusion as the features changed to rage. "What the hell is this?" he screamed. "What are you?" He groped at her nethers, searching for something that wasn't there. "You're a –" he gagged.

Elsa saw his hand rise from her pants and form into a fist. "You sick freak," he growled. Then her mind went blank. Her head hurt. She saw stars and found herself lying on the floor of her bathroom. She heard more screams from two voices. Her vision cleared and she saw her sister wrestling with Hans. She must have heard his scream, even over the music.

Hans took a swing at her, but Anna jumped back. He was clumsy and his punch pulled him to the wall. The alcohol had affected him; Elsa must have been slower than she had thought. "Stay away from my sister," Anna growled as she charged at him, heedless of her own words. They both went tumbling backwards, and Hans' head struck the plaster of the bathtub. Pieces of the tub went to the floor with them, as Anna lay atop Hans's still form.

Elsa attempted to rise, but the floor came up to meet her again. Anna sat on top of her prey, looking down at what she'd done. Blood was slowly pooling from around his head. She shook her victim, but he didn't so much as stir. "Elsa, you have to help him," Anna pleaded. "I think I killed him. Please, I can't be a murderer. Make it stop."

Elsa failed yet again to rise, looking on in horror as the blood continued to flow from the fresh wound. Hans hadn't moved an inch since he struck the floor. Tears started to flow from Anna's face. "I couldn't let him hurt you, but I didn't mean for this to happen. Elsa, you know I'm not a killer, you have to save him. Please, Elsa, help me." Anna finally managed to drag her head away from the corpse to look at her sister, and saw her lying prone on the floor. "Elsa?"

Anna leapt from the man and crossed the few feet to her wife in an instant. "Elsa, can you hear me? Please, Elsa say something. I can't have lost you."

Elsa's lips moved. On the third attempt word's came. "Anna," she said in response.

It was enough. The younger woman pulled her to her and held her, tears falling onto the blonde's hair. "I was so scared. Elsa, what are we going to do? I just killed him. What are we going to do?" Realization struck the young woman. "Oh God, Caroline's still downstairs, what are we going to tell her? I'm covered in her husband's blood and he's dead in our bathroom. Elsa, I don't know what to do!"

Whether through shock, alcohol, or a concussion, Elsa's body decided that this was the perfect moment for a nap.