Man With 'Only God Can Judge Me' Tattoo Suddenly Realizes God Can Judge Him

EL PASO, TX—Local man Bud Hapley, who has sported a tattoo reading “Only God Can Judge Me” across his bicep for the past 15 years, suddenly realized Tuesday that only God can judge him, sources close to the man confirmed.

After briefly and idly glancing at the inscription on his arm, the man suddenly began staring off into nothingness as he realized that he would be accountable for his every action in this life, according to sources.

“I always tell people that they can’t judge me because only God can,” he confided in a group of friends. “But I never thought about what that entailed. I mean, the Creator of the universe examining my every thought, action, motive, and attitude? Hoo boy.”

“I’d rather just have other people judge me, to be honest,” he said, shaking his head.

At publishing time, the horrified man had suddenly realized his “you only live once” tattoo was similarly accurate.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee