WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A resident of Washington, D.C., has been identified as the source of the community spread of coronavirus misinformation throughout the United States.

Officials at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said on Thursday that the man had ignored the advice of public-health experts and spewed a toxic strain of ignorance, potentially infecting millions.

The man, believed to be a fact-resistant organism, travelled last week to South Carolina, where he came in contact with thousands of people who, as a result of community spread, now believe that coronavirus is a hoax.

The epidemic of cluelessness expanded last night, when the man called in to a Fox News television program to encourage people with coronavirus to go to work rather than stay at home, as scientists have urged.

A C.D.C. spokesperson in Atlanta said there are steps that the public can take to avoid becoming infected by the man’s noxious contagion of falsehoods.

“According to the data we have, the most virulent misinformation is transmitted via this man’s oral cavity,” the spokesperson said. “If you turn on your TV and see him open his mouth, move as far away as possible.”