PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)—North Korean leader Kim Jong-un surprised Korea-watchers today by abruptly cancelling his nation’s controversial rocket test and launching a fragrance instead.

The dictator’s signature fragrance, called “Number Un,” could be on store shelves in time for Christmas, according to the Korean Central News Agency.

The decision to launch a fragrance rather than a rocket “shows a kind of realism that has been rare in the Kim family,” said North Korea expert Dr. Hiroshi Kyosuke, of the University of Tokyo.

“I think Kim Jong-un most likely said to himself, ‘Given how badly my last rocket did, maybe I’ll just launch a fragrance,’ ” he said.

The official North Korean announcement offered this description of the new fragrance: “Number Un deliriously combines the sweet smells of North Korea’s native unicorns with the irresistible aroma of our Dear Leader himself. This holiday season, every kiss begins with Kim Jong-un.”

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Photograph by Xinhua News Agency/Eyevine/Redux.