On the surface, the dating site Where White People Meet – launched in late 2015 by a married man who publicly defended the site, for white people who want to date other white people, by stating he isn’t a racist because he dated a black woman once – may seem like a fair endeavor. There are lots of dating sites catering to people of certain identities, like jdate.com for Jewish people or ourtime.com for those older than 50.

But while sites catering to specific religions help adherents meet requirements of their faith, and sites for people with shared interests help connect likeminded souls, Where White People Meet is just another example of racism. White people are already one of the most desired demographics on most dating sites anyway. And according to a recent study out of Australia on online dating apps, people who display a marked romantic preference for one race are more likely to be racist.

Researchers found that 64% of the gay men they studied said it was acceptable to state a racial preference on these apps, and 70% believe it is totally fine to list racial preferences.



While those numbers aren’t exactly racist, when their data was crosschecked with the results from a Quick Discrimination Index (QDI), a survey that measures attitudes on race and diversity that participants also completed, they found those who scored high on the discrimination index also had high levels of racial preference.

So if you say you have a racial preference on your dating profile, you’re very likely to also hold racist beliefs in other areas.

“For me, the findings of this study are a reminder that even though society and individuals may actively reject racism, racial prejudices are increasingly subtle,” Callander told the Daily Beast last year. “[A]nd they can find their way into even the most private and personal corners of our lives.”



This, like most other manifestations of racism, isn’t news to most black people.

I remember the first time I experienced sexual racism masked as “preference”. It was after sending a picture of my face to another person on the internet. He immediately told me, “I don’t like black guys, sorry,” and then signed off. And ever since, I have received a version of those words more times than I’d care to count.

From my own experience, being told my skin color disqualifies me from being attractive is sometimes the most hurtful rejection – or it’s at least the one that I can’t seem to shake. It’s a feeling akin to being looked over at a meat counter; it leaves me stunned that my skin can so quickly repel a person who didn’t even get to know me at all. My mind quickly translates race-based rejection into Your body isn’t worth loving.

The stock response to someone questioning race-based dating tends to be “it’s just a preference”. It’s not a “preference”; it’s undoubtedly something the person using the phrase hasn’t tried. When people dismiss others solely on their race, they should at least begin being honest and calling their desire what it actually is.

To deny a person based solely on racial and ethnic identity without even getting to know them, instead of giving their numerous non melanin-related aspects a chance, is racism – both on- and offline.

