

I've lived with jerky people before, I've always been able to ignore/avoid them, or in the instance of housework confront them somewhat reasonably. I'm living with my sister and her boyfriend who has been rude to me from the start. I don't think this stems from meanness, he's clearly good to her, but he has fewer social niceties than a teaspoon.



From the very beginning he's ignored me; I tried being friendly, saying hello/good morning etc in passing and also asking him about work or his day when he came home. Invariably his response is monosyllabic with zero reciprocation. He has never spoken to me unless I instigate and he has never asked me a question in return. He won't even make eye contact.



A few instances have arisen where he's needed my help. He uses my sister as a mediator to ask the simplest things and when I am engaged in the conversation he continues to talk to HER even though I am right there and answering him.



He has never done housework. I'm sorry, once. Once I caught him vacuuming. We have a walkway to the driveway where his car is parked. He will carry the snow shovel through the 5" of snow, carve out a very obnoxious little frame around his car (which only he uses) and haul the damn thing back without bothering to clear the walk or the stairs which have on several occasions become treacherous.

He leaves garbage, dirty dishes and empty beer bottles around the living room and I don't think he knows we have/how to use the dishwasher.



I love my sister and want to spend time with her, I can't do that without him there. We watch tv together and he will turn his back to me to remark on the show to her. Even for something completely minor! This has been going on for 7 months.



I think she knows there's a problem because she never brings him up in conversation to me, but I can't bring myself to say "Hey, your boyfriend's an asshole", it'll break her heart. It's gotten this bad because I didn't want to rock the boat, especially since her feelings are at stake and I thought maybe he'd get used to me and it'd stop. It's getting to a point where I can't stand to be in the room with him. She wants to get married. If she marries this guy there's no way our family will welcome him as things are. But I have to say again, I don't think this is active hostility, we have on occasion had reasonable conversations (that I started) and aside from her he behaves this way (to lesser degrees) to everyone (including our parents, bad move on his part).



I know I have to confront him. How do I do it without losing my nerve or looking like I'm making a mountain out of a mole-hill (which I think would happen if I focus on stuff like the walkway and ignoring me, even though those are the things that piss me off the most) Or, maybe I don't have to (which would rock) and you have a super awesome solution! (like where to hide a body)

Please help!

How do I deal with my inconsiderate roommate when ignoring isn't an option? (kinda long)