Best July Moment: July 7th-9th vs. The Braves. If it is illegal to pick three days instead of one moment, sue me. After the Braves swept the Mets in Atlanta to begin the month, it felt real good to win a squeaker, a blow out, and a pitching duel. This series, sandwiched between the Rangers and Marlins series, gave Mets fans hope that the team wasn’t going to call it quits before August came.

Worst July Moment: The End Of The Padres Rubber Game. You remember the game. Odrisimar Dispagne was throwing a no-hitter and any Mets fan was ready to give his/her right arm to avoid having the Mets be the first no-hit victim in Padres history. Then something funny happened. The Mets broke up the no-hitter, tied the game up, and looked like they were going to sneak out a win. The Mets used to be the kings of throwing 7+ no-hit innings and then end up taking the loss. So I was salivating at the thought of them turning the tables on the Friars. Instead, Vic Black gave up the game-winning run and the Mets left San Diego losing 2 of 3 games. This game sucked.

July Man Crush (Position Player): Travis d’Arnaud. More like Travis d’ArYES, am I right? (I’m sorry). I gave the AAA coaches The Junior Mint award in my Seinfeld Midseason Awards blog because his improvement is soooo important to this team becoming a contender. Having a good all-around catcher does wonders for a baseball team, just like having a good tight end in football. It is a position that is usually occupied by a player that is either good at offense or defense. But if you have one that is good at both, you are well ahead of the game. Oh yeah, and this:

July Man Crush (Pitcher): Jacob deGrom. Jacob’s pitching abilities are finally catching up to his hair-growing abilities, which is the best compliment he can possibly receive. A 1.39 ERA to go along with a 38 to 7 K:BB ratio is good for your fifth starter, right? I am man crushing on Jakey Poo hard right now.

Best Tweet of July:

The Mets have a 2.80 ERA from their bullpen since May 1. — D.J. Short (@djshort) July 23, 2014

The Mets staring pitching having a good bullpen behind it is like John McClane getting a machine gun in Die Hard. Watch out, National League. Ho-Ho-Ho.

July Confession/Rant: I really thought the Mets were going to make a push to trade for at least one big bat by the trade deadline. This team is an outfielder and a shortstop away from being a pretty complete team. Now obviously I have made my feelings for Troy Tulowitzki very well known. He is the best answer for any team that needs a shortstop, despite his injury issues.

The outfield bat can come from a bunch of different directions. Matt Kemp, Melky Cabrera, and Rusney Castillo are all potential options via trade or free agency. Kemp has the highest ceiling (rightful MVP in 2011) and the lowest floor (injury marred seasons in 2012 and 2013). There have been numerous reports that the Dodgers would eat a good portion of Kemp’s contract to open up an outfield spot for uber-prospect Joc Pederson. Any player the Mets will get in a trade will likely have some warts. Whether it is a big contract, injury issues, off the field issues, or something else. At this point, they need to take some sort of a gamble, like Frank Cashen did with Keith Hernandez in 1983. Good thing we have an ownership that doesn’t mind spending money *Places gun in mouth*

Terry Collins Hot Seat, Hot Chick Level: Maggie Gyllenhaal.

The seat and the chick would have been MUCH hotter in the beginning of July. But if the hotness level of the seat is at Maggie Gyllenhaal level, Terry better put some thermals on. I do not think much of ol’ Mags. In fact, her replacing Katie Holmes in The Dark Knight may have been the worst casting decision of all-time. I truly didn’t care if her character survived or not. If Ms. Holmes was in the movie, I would have lived and died with her every breath. Another thing that Tom Cruise and Scientology has ruined. Oh yeah, back to Collins and the Mets. The team has played some of it’s best baseball recently and I don’t see ownership doing much if they continue to tread water. TC isn’t going anywhere as of now, unless the bottom absolutely falls out from the team in September.

Each series in July broken down in GIF form













25-Man Roster Ink Blot Test

Replacing the lightning round this month is something very similar. I will take a look at each player like I would an ink blot and say what that player looks like to me as of today.

Bobby Abreu: A legit pinch hitter who should be played in the outfield only after every other position player and pitcher has been used up.

Vic Black: A keeper for the bullpen. Not as important as a closer, but please cherish having a good, young arm in this spot.

Eric Campbell: A better Josh Satin. On a related note, I just Googled “Satin” and the first Google Autocomplete Suggestion was Satin and Lace, an adult toy store in Danbury, CT. So, ummm, yeah.

Buddy Carlyle: Good bullpen pitcher, even better 1950’s name.

Bartolo Colon: A strike throwing machine with the body of a microwave. Not much else to say about Fat Bart other than he has been exactly what most people thought he was going to be this year: Part reliable vet, part punchline joke, and part potential trade chip for pitching desperate teams (if he passes through waivers).

Travis d’Arnaud: As mentioned above, I have a huge crush of “Little d” right now (we need to work on a nickname). So my opinion may be sliiiiiightly skewed right now. But I see the evolutionary Buster Posey.

Jacob deGrom: Tommy Seaver in the pitching game, Uncle Jess in the hair game. Have mercy!

Lucas Duda: He has become everything I hoped Ike Davis would become (except for a Gold Glove first baseman). His face looks significantly less dumb when he is hitting moon shots off of pitchers. And again, those orange batting gloves make him look 8,000,000% more intimidating. Lucas Duda appears to be <gasp> a legit, power-hitting first baseman!

Josh Edgin: I am ashamed to admit that I think of this scene when I hear Edgin’s name brought up. So other than that weird scene, he is also another decent bullpen lefty.

Dana Eveland: Faceless middle reliever, which is a good thing. Fans only remember the really bad middle relievers faces, even if they have a girl’s name.

Jeurys Famila: A potentially legit closer if Mejia ever falters/gets injured.

Wilmer Flores: Either the shortstop of the future, the second baseman of the future (if Murphy gets dealt), or someone the Mets give up in a trade for a middle infielder (cough, Tulowitzki, cough).

Curtis Granderson: Low average, high power, and higher character. Exactly what I was expecting when we signed him.

Dillon Gee: Likely trade candidate for a return Mets fans will be unhappy about until they realize Gee is more guts than talent.

Juan Lagares: Gold glove centerfielder. Clutch hitter. And the object of my desire and affection when David Wright retires. Wait, what?

Jenrry Mejia: A good, not great closer with a good, not great celebration. If you squint your eyes, you see Old Man Clemens from Billy Madison when Mejia closes a game.

Daniel Murphy: He just doesn’t have the makings of a championship athlete.

Jon Niese: A young, injury prone lefty that is locked up for years and will end up being a bargain as long as he stays healthy.

Anthony Recker: A below-average catcher with an above-average last name.

Ruben Tejada: <Cue The Charlie Brown Music>

Carlos Torres: I see some Turk Wendell in him, which is the highest complement I can give a Mets reliever. My man crush on Torres seems like it was years ago, but Carlito has become a sturdy, unspectacular part of the bullpen.

Zack Wheeler: The Koosman to Harvey’s Seaver for years to come (please God).

David Wright: The honor of a Boy Scout with the happy demeanor of Mickey Mouse. The 2nd best Met of all-time (and best position player Met of all-time).

Eric Young Jr: A fourth outfielder or pinch runner that isn’t good enough to play every day on a contender. Basically Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez at the end of his career.

Chris Young: A cockroach. Young is a survivor that somehow pulls out a handful of good plays out of his ass right before the guillotine comes down on his head. Pretty impressive when you actually sit down and think about it.