I will say this: The Joker’s grandma is looking good for 108.

While the rest of us spent our 3-day weekend in a self-induced Miller High Life hot dog coma, Joan Rivers was at the “Grandma, don’t say that” Reference Library finding new ways to be an offensive hag. When a reporter asked her on Friday if she thought America was ready for a gay or female president, she responded with a “joke” suggesting that President Obama was gay and that Michelle Obama was a “tranny”. It was basically just like hearing your Uncle Randy tell a joke at Thanksgiving that starts with a Rabbi and ends with everyone nervously shifting in their seat; nobody was into it. I guess someone (Joan’s publisher) told her she better open up her plastic mouth slit and release an apology, but instead she shat out a classic “sorry not sorry” statement to CNN:

“I think it’s a compliment. She’s so attractive, tall, with a beautiful body, great face, does great makeup. Take a look and go back to La Cage Au Follies (sic). The most gorgeous women are transgender. Stop it already … and if you want to talk about ‘politically correct,’ I think this is a ‘politically incorrect’ attack on me because I’m old, Jewish, a woman and a ‘hetty’ — a heteosexual … and I plan to sue the reporter who, when he turned off his camera, tried to touch me inappropriately on the ass – luckily he hit my ankle. Read the book … if you think that’s silly, wait to (sic) you see what I say about FDR and Eleanor!”

She kept the No Apologies Tour going by telling The Wrap that she also isn’t sorry for stunting like a senior citizen stunt queen by walking out of a CNN interview on Saturday:

“The CNN interviewer was a news reporter and not an entertainment reporter…She did not seem to understand we were talking about a comedy book and not the transcripts from the Nuremburg Trial. Every question was an accusatory one designed to put me on the defensive.”

I know Joan has a book to hustle (Diarrhea of a Mad Diva or something) but I don’t think this any of this is a PR stunt; I think this is Joan’s way of trying to nab a spot at an assisted living facility for seniors with dementia. She’s obviously losing it, but she’s just too proud to tell us it’s time she move into a home with a keypad on every door and an episode of Matlock on every television, so she’s acting like a damn mess until someone says ENOUGH and sticks her senile ass in Shady Acres.

And the #1 sign that Joan has officially lost her damn mind is when she called herself a “hetty”. Bitch, there is one and only one “hetty”, and it’s Hetty King!