Who could have ever imagined that Jeanne Shaheen would prove she was a Native American before Elizabeth Warren did?

At least I’m guessing that the senior senator from New Hampshire can prove it, because Warren’s totally unsubstantiated claims have made her a national laughing stock, to the point of becoming a punchline in the stump speech of the president of the United States.

Shaheen knows this. When she made her revelation on CNN, the interviewer asked her if she’d mentioned her discovery to the fake Indian.

“It’s kind of a sensitive topic,” Shaheen said, “so probably not….”

Funny, Sen. Shaheen, I never noticed your high cheekbones before. Who told you about your lineage — let me guess, it was your “pauw-pauw,” right? I wonder if Shaheen had any, uh, reservations about embarrassing her colleague over this issue. Did they have a pow-wow at the local cheese shop?

Now the Democrats in the Senate can have a new caucus. Actually, two — the Indian caucus, and the fake-Indian caucus.

You know Warren has to be on the warpath about this. She’s just wanted this issue to go away for years, and here it is, back in the headlines again. And there’s absolutely nothing the fake Indian can do about it. Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to check the box … .

I broke the news about Shaheen yesterday to the fake Indian’s likely opponent in next year’s election, state Rep. Geoff Diehl (R-Whitman).

“Has Scott Brown heard about this?” he said. “Maybe he can come back from New Zealand and take another shot at Shaheen.”

You’re not supposed to talk about the fake Indian’s forked tongue, at least not in polite society. If you do, you’ll be labeled a … racist. She’s the darling of the alt-left fake media, which is why she can raise more wampum than anyone else in her tribe, I mean, party.

Let the Great Orange Father call her “Pocahontas,” it’s fodder. She just sends out a smoke signal, I mean email, and she raises another $100,000. This has been going on now for many, many moons, almost since buffalo roamed the plains.

But now Jeanne Shaheen is trying to muscle in on Warren’s racket, I mean happy hunting grounds. Is there any historical precedent for this? Did Geronimo try to crowd Cochise? Actually, I do recall that Massasoit had a beef with Squanto, back in the day, but the Pilgrims arranged for a sitdown. It was called Thanksgiving.

The problem is, there’s only room for one sachem in this teepee. So Shaheen and Warren will have to smoke the peace pipe. Break bread — the fake Indian can cook her favorite Native American dish, cold crab omelet. Maybe they could go to a Red Sox game together, unless Warren has already scalped her tickets.

Of course, there is one way to finally put this issue to rest, one way or the other. The fake Indian could finally take that DNA test. But nobody is holding their breath, kemosabe.

Buy Howie’s new book, “Kennedy Babylon: A Century of Scandal and Depravity,” at howiecarrshow.com.