The Last Ride to IEM San Jose - Preview Text by lichter Graphics by shiroiusagi, lichter .1 No Midnight Countdown

OB The Open Bracket

GS The Group Stage

Intro Sometimes We Write Stories

Fanfic The Last Ride to San Jose

.LP IEM San Jose on Liquipedia .01 No Midnight Countdown This time last year, we were counting down the time left for foreigners to win something in 2013. While no foreigner has yet won a WCS event, 2014 was at least a small improvement. Bunny and Sen (twice!!) were the two saviors of foreign hope by beating HyuN and Bomber in their respective finals.



IEM San Jose could be (unless we get a surprise in the coming weeks) the last chance for another foreign victory in 2014. It's the first time IEM has ventured so far west of the Americas, and the continent is very well represented in the open bracket with 5 Americans, and in the group stages with Scarlett, MajOr and qxc.



Standing in the way of a homecourt win are the many regulars (the HyuNs, Polts, and Bombers) of the international circuit, as well as a few fresh faces (Rain, Seed, Symbol). It's a strong cast of mercenaries bent on striking gold. Will another expat nab the prize, or will America finally keep one title on its home soil?

OB The Open Bracket As per usual, fans of foreigners will watch the open brackets closely as 7 of the 8 initial matches pit a Korean against a local (or not so local) favorite.



Open Bracket 1





Arguably the stronger of the two open brackets, this set of players features a former MLG and IEM champion in viOLet, a former MSL winner in Hydra, and a resurgent GuMiho. The Towel Terran has won a Leifeng Cup and recently placed second in 32 Boys 1 Cup after a largely invisible career in HotS. The new Invasion signee Super is also a dangerous opponent, one that can win against anyone and lose against anyone in equal measure. Only HuK has a Korean-beating pedigree among the foreigners, but he's up against it with GuMibro as his first opponent.



Predictions : and advance.



Open Bracket 2





Though this side of the open bracket only contains 3 foreigners, it could be our best hope to see one advance to the group stages. TOP is about as mysterious as they come, but his lack of a team until recently suggests his stock has never been very high. TRUE, Symbol, Seed and Revival are all able players, but they don't carry the same air of impenetrability against foreigners as their more illustrious comrades. All four can be upset with good series planning. Could #yearofHarstem or the wizard CatZ (or Phog, I guess) surprise us and take a spot in the main tournament? They definitely could, but I wouldn't bet on it until I see a series or two.



Predictions : and advance.



Arguably the stronger of the two open brackets, this set of players features a former MLG and IEM champion in viOLet, a former MSL winner in Hydra, and a resurgent GuMiho. The Towel Terran has won a Leifeng Cup and recently placed second in 32 Boys 1 Cup after a largely invisible career in HotS. The new Invasion signee Super is also a dangerous opponent, one that can win against anyone and lose against anyone in equal measure. Only HuK has a Korean-beating pedigree among the foreigners, but he's up against it with GuMibro as his first opponent. GuMiho and viOLet advance.Though this side of the open bracket only contains 3 foreigners, it could be our best hope to see one advance to the group stages. TOP is about as mysterious as they come, but his lack of a team until recently suggests his stock has never been very high. TRUE, Symbol, Seed and Revival are all able players, but they don't carry the same air of impenetrability against foreigners as their more illustrious comrades. All four can be upset with good series planning. Could #yearofHarstem or the wizard CatZ (or Phog, I guess) surprise us and take a spot in the main tournament? They definitely could, but I wouldn't bet on it until I see a series or two. Symbol and Seed advance. GS The Group Stage With each group still waiting for their last member, it's difficult to make predictions due to the nature of matchups and bracket luck. Instead, let's look at which player each Group Stage contestant will hope won't fill out their foursome.







Group A

: Since IEM San Jose, Rain has had a record of 52-16 (76.47%). One blip against Bly aside, he shouldn't fear anyone from the open bracket except a completely unexpected opponent. So, I guess that means Zanster.



: Ever since a high in July, Scarlett's ZvT has taken a nosedive. If advances, it could spell trouble for our favorite Canadian.



: Another recent ZvT sufferer, Snute will be praying alongside Scarlett that HuK drops down to the loser's bracket.



Group B

: For some reason, First can't seem to get a handle on PvZ. He's lost games to Tefel, Elazer and Snute recently, though he did beat TRUE and Jaedong. Still, he won't be happy if or make it through.



: Starting from Red Bull DC, Polt has only won 3 of 10 TvT series and has a record of 14 - 19. is once again the man he should fear the most.



: Jaedong seems destined to die versus cheesy or timing attack focused protoss. If or advance, the Tyrant could go down early.



Group C

: Since IEM San Jose Qualifiers began, ForGG is 17-1 in series and 38-12 in games. The only thing he'd fear is falling asleep during a baneling bust.



: MajOr will probably play mech, especially with ForGG showing how strong it is versus zerg. is one of the more clever anti-mech players, so this could be an interesting clash.



: HyuN will build roaches. will build immortals.



Group D

herO: . This is pretty obvious.



qxc: Revival, Seed, Symbol, ... sorry, man, but you lucked out on this group.



Bomber: . Bomber recently lost to Has and Top, so cheesy protoss might have his number.



Rain : Since IEM San Jose, Rain has had a record of 52-16 (76.47%). One blip against Bly aside, he shouldn't fear anyone from the open bracket except a completely unexpected opponent. So, I guess that means Scarlett : Ever since a high in July, Scarlett's ZvT has taken a nosedive. If GuMiho advances, it could spell trouble for our favorite Canadian. Snute : Another recent ZvT sufferer, Snute will be praying alongside Scarlett that HuK drops GuMiho down to the loser's bracket. First : For some reason, First can't seem to get a handle on PvZ. He's lost games to Tefel, Elazer and Snute recently, though he did beat TRUE and Jaedong. Still, he won't be happy if viOLet or Hydra make it through. Polt : Starting from Red Bull DC, Polt has only won 3 of 10 TvT series and has a record of 14 - 19. GuMiho is once again the man he should fear the most. Jaedong : Jaedong seems destined to die versus cheesy or timing attack focused protoss. If Super or HuK advance, the Tyrant could go down early. ForGG : Since IEM San Jose Qualifiers began, ForGG is 17-1 in series and 38-12 in games. The only thing he'd fear is falling asleep during a TRUE baneling bust. MajOr : MajOr will probably play mech, especially with ForGG showing how strong it is versus zerg. Symbol is one of the more clever anti-mech players, so this could be an interesting clash. HyuN : HyuN will build roaches. Harstem will build immortals. Seed . This is pretty obvious. TRUE ... sorry, man, but you lucked out on this group. Seed . Bomber recently lost to Has and Top, so cheesy protoss might have his number. Intro Sometimes We Write Stories Regular previews can get a little stale after a while, especially when writing about the same players over and over again for an entire year. The community demands a certain "professionalism" from its news sources, and that often leaves us with little chance to flex our imagination. But as the year comes to a close and our creative sides itching, we've been trying to write more interesting articles lately (which hopefully you've noticed). IEM San Jose gets the same treatment.



* Disclaimer: The following is a work of fanfiction. Any potential likenesses or inappropriateness is made with the purpose of humor or entertainment. Anyone who takes it seriously should probably get his head checked.



Fanfic The Last Ride to San Jose from the mind of Destructicon

The Great Shaman It was a hot summer day in the American midlands. The sun shone bright on a clear blue sky, only a gentle wind provided relief from the scorching heat. There, on a hill overlooking a river the great shaman of the plains had decided to perch his teepee. The great shaman was old and wise, respected not only by his fellow Native Americans but also by the white men. The great shaman had lived for so long that his old name had long since faded into history; he was now known simply as the Great Cat of the plains. The white men referred to him simply as CatZ.



CatZ had taken shelter in his teepee from the heat. As he overlooked the vast emptiness he sensed a wind of change drift towards him, prompting him to enter the spirit world and find out more. CatZ prepared for the ritual, mixing a special tonic to drink while also burning sacred herbs. As smoke filled the teepee CatZ chanted the sacred words, "Ruut fo ruut". Once he felt his mind quiet he drank the tonic.





Root for Root



CatZ opened his eyes to find himself on a cliff. Below him a great river flowed, behind him he could see the empty planes, ahead the gold filled mountains. In the distance he could make out what looked like a great battle. The white people were riding a great metal beast: it blew steam and lumbered on a road of iron. As the beast marched forward all the tribes of the plains were assaulting it, doing everything in their power to stop its advance. Then suddenly the great beast and all the Native Americans were engulfed in a great ball of fire as a thunderous sound emerged from it. The ground beneath CatZ shook violently as a great wave of dust blew towards him, enveloping him and turning the day into night. In that moment CatZ awoke.



The vision had troubled the great shaman in a way no other vision had before. He knew he had to warn the other tribes. He exited his tepee in a puff of smoke and yelled for his lackey , who he had just hired three months ago. Unable to find him, CatZ muttered under his breath and hopped on his horse. As he rode past a ditch he saw the missing delinquent passed out toked on vespene gas, blabbering something about "pidipop pidipop emesel". The young man had yet paid himself off and he was already playing hooky.



CatZ raced onward, but as he reached a clearing he saw something in the river: a white man was floating downstream. The shaman went to investigate, and he saw the white man was unconscious and injured, so he decided to pull him out of the water. Upon touching him the shaman had another vision.



This white man would face off against another. Upon a mountain of gold the injured man would call forth the crawlers of the earth to swarm forth and swallow the invasion. Then the wise shaman had an idea. He knew that the spirits had sent the man to him for a reason. He would tend to the man's wounds and send him forth to fulfill his destiny: to make the white men fight among themselves. Then in the heat of the conflict the Native Americans would sweep forward and end the white invasion.



The white man woke up as CatZ was mending his wounds. As he rose a sharp pain in his abdomen stopped him. CatZ leaned forward and said, "Stay!". The white man was surprised to find the shaman could speak his language. He initiated a conversation, revealing his name, " " and explained he was a prospector migrating to California, seeking to make his wealth off gold when his companion betrayed him and left him for dead. CatZ nursed TRUE back to health and instructed him to head south to the white settlement. Unbeknownst to TRUE, CatZ had lead him right into the heart of conflict.



When TRUE arrived he found the town to be busy and hectic. He discovered that the KeSPA Rail Company was in town and seeking to build a railway from coast to coast. He learned that the company was hiring as many people as possible to carry out their grand design of expanding and conquering all of America. Sensing an opportunity TURN eagerly signed up for the expedition and climbed into a covered wagon.



The KeSPA Rail Company A train was parked in the middle of town, ahead, as far as the eye could see, many workers were busy laying down new tracks . Overseeing the action from his carriage was the wealthy businessman . As he sipped on his favorite brandy his eyes meticulously scoured the surroundings and inspected the workers. In that moment his number one foreman walked in.



Rain: "Yes, what do you have to report?".

First: "Sir, recruitment rate is through the roof, people from all walks of life are coming to join us on this expedition."

Rain: "Excellent, at this rate we'll reach the west coast within a year."

First: "Sir there might be a problem with that. Our men are nearing Native American territory and the work is grinding to a halt."

Rain: "In that case send the Tyrant out to whip the men into submission!"

First: "But sir, even he can't protect them all."

Rain: "The cavalry will take care of that."

First: "They haven't arrive yet sir."

Rain: "I don't care, keep the men working, every moment lost is money wasted. Besides, the first dragoon regiment should arrive within a day. Now go, I'm not paying you to sit around!"

First: "Yes sir!"





ForGG: Take a ride on my magic railroad cart, girl



Rain let go an aggravated sigh as he sipped more of his brandy. As he turned his gaze back towards the window something caught his eye. In the distance he could see black smoke coming out of a machine. The contraption in question sported an impossible number of gears. It usually moved forward, slowly laying tracks, however now it had broken down. Rain could make out the silhouette of his odd French mechanic, , as he made his way towards his invention.



Rain muttered a curse to himself. While ForGG's invention sped up the building process considerably, his crazy invention kept breaking down. Thus Rain was forced to hire as many people as possible if he wanted to meet the insane deadline the company had imposed upon him.



The Dragoons Later that evening corporal finally arrived in town with the rest of his unit. The man was a bit of an anomaly, nobody could quite understand how someone constantly wearing a towel over his hands could also be one of the fastest draws in the west. None the less it garnered him incredible respect and his men would follow him into any conflict without question. His second in command, major pulled up to him and started talking.

Seed: "Sir we've been riding for 5 days straight, now that we're in town I believe we could allow our men to unwind a bit before the long trek west."

GuMiho: "I agree, let's find the saloon in this dust bowl."

At the saloon GuMiho was steated on the second floor overlooking most of the tables, inspecting his men. In one corner stood lieutenants and . It seemed as though they were in a the middle of a drinking competition, one that poor TOP was clearly losing. Next to them, the witty major herO was locked in a game of poker with major Seed.





herO would never wear such un-swaggy pants



On the other side of the saloon, at a table farther away from the rest stood the scouts, three brothers. To say they were eccentric would be an understatement. One of them regularly fished but the men caught him talking to the earthworms. Another had a fixation with roaches, and he attributed his absurd record of sniffing out ambushes to his little crawly friends. The last one was a bit more normal and he acted as a sort of middle man between the brothers and rest of the unit. Weird they may be, but no one could deny that they were the finest scouts on the continent.





Gumigloves is a registered trademark



GuMiho laid back in his chair and took a healthy gulp from his mug of beer. He tried to suppress the thought of another trip out into the scorching sun, of the burden of command, the bureaucracy. Instead his thoughts flashed to the lush valleys of the west and of the gold filled rivers flowing through them.

GuMiho contemplated while looking into his golden brew.

-"These Company fools have no idea of the treasure they are heading towards, the same treasure me and my men discovered years ago, but could never pursue."

-"We just need them to dig deep enough, find enough gold and then bam."

-"We eliminate the company men, we take the gold and disappear, the government will think its Native Americans eliminating intruders, the rest of the world will be none the wiser as to what was stolen!"



The Mad Prospector In the middle of the night, on a wild dirt path rode a strange silhouette. It looked like an old man, he rode a mule and hummed a strange tune, only stopping for the occasional sip out of his flask of Red Bull. The man rode into town looking for the bank; he tied up his mule and headed in chirping all the way. Once inside he produced several nuggets of gold to trade. Money in hand, the weird stranger strode across the street to the saloon, intent on celebrating.



In the saloon he noticed the presence of the soldiers as well as several workers, the smell of iron still fresh on their clothes. The old fool stood at a small table and inspected his surroundings. After a few minutes he determined who the man in charge was and approached him.



: "Hello there mate, you seem to have had a hard day, buy you a drink?"

First: "Yeah today's been hell, and I could use a cold one to wash away the dust."



Bomber ordered several drinks and sat down with the foreman. With each mug First revealed more and more regarding the KeSPA Railway Company. With each new detail Bomber's concern grew. However a small idea occurred to him and he started speaking again.



Bomber: "You're not too far away from the mountains, how do you plan to go through them?"

First: "Pickaxes, black powder and a whole lot of manpower."

Bomber: "The mountains are of hard rock, regular gunpowder won't cut it, I've got something that might interest you. Come outside."





Mule: No boss I don't wanna land on that siege tank



Intrigued, First followed Bomber outside the saloon. Bomber took First a good distance away from the closest building. There he produced a bottle containing a heavy, colorless oily substance as well as a bag of gunpowder. He approached two big rocks, under one he poured the gunpowder, under the other the strange substance. He setup the fuses, went back to a safe distance and then lit it up. Turning to First he said, "watch this!".



The gunpowder reached the rock first, exploded and sent the rock hurtling a short distance away. The then the other substance ignited, this time it produced a much larger and louder explosion than First had anticipated. First didn't see any rock left. It had been blow apart in the blast, the only thing left was a small crater where it was.



First asked: "What was that stuff?"

Bomber: "I dunno some new invention all the way from Europe. I do however know how to make it."

First: "Wouldn't you be interested in a job from the company?"

Bomber: "If the pay is good, sure!"

Bomber however had no plan on actually fulfilling his job. This company was a threat to his prospecting livelihood and it had to be eliminated. A little bit of substance in a tunnel or say, under a bridge would make quick work of it. It would indeed be a bit trickier than ridding himself of his previous partner, but the payoff could be huge. He'd be the last big prospector and he could make a fortune of all the gold.



The War Council The Great Shaman stood before a campfire. Surrounding it and him were the chiefs of all the major tribes. of the Apaches—also known as windy—, of the Cherokee, of the Comanche, of the Seminoles, of the Chickasaws and of the Creeks, of the Iroquois, as well as two cloaked silhouettes.



CatZ explained his vision to the other leaders. A clear tension filled the air as the shaman recited more and more details. Finally one of them broke the silence.



MajOr: "Who cares. Let's play mons instead."

puCK: "Who cares. Just don't pick me first."

HuK: "I keep telling you people, its not the Koreans that're out to kill us, but the terrans. Fuck terran. If I was trapped in a room with Hitler, Saddam and a terran with 2 bullets and a gun, I'd shoot Hitler and Saddam and then use the gun to bludgeon the Terran knowing that he'd suffer the most before he died."

Harstem: "...I'm telling you people a crocodile in a bumper car, even one that can't drive a bumper car is more dangerous than a 8 foot baby on a rampage. No one should be picking the crocodile. Unless they're the best Scottish Zerg JohnnryRecco."

qxc: "We need to get a raven, and then disguise it as a mutalisk. Then it grows up all its life thinking it's a mutalisk. You send that raven to the flock or murder of mutas, and they will accept it as their own. Finally, when the murder of mutas begins to get too big, the raven hunter seeker missiles them all as they clump."

Scarlett, presses a button on a box and the box proclaims, "#Rottimicro."

CatZ: "............I hate all of you. Fuck this, I'ma get some Taco Bell I'm out."



The great shaman then went to Taco Bell and while munching on his 3rd beef taquito (with guacamole) he came upon a revelation. Rather than fight them and lose strong warriors (he wondered briefly if maybe he should just let them all die anyway, but decided extra meat shields was never a bad thing) he should let the greed of the white men take its toll. He'd have the white men fight each other till they were weak enough to be picked apart. With this in mind, he called upon the two infiltrators. The ones that would keep tabs on them and hasten their demise.



At that moment the cloaked men revealed themselves to be white men. The great shaman uttered. "You've already done much for us, if you carry out this last task you will finally be accepted into our tribe. Children shall sing of the mighty heroes, and cahontes, and how they bravely defended The People!"



All the other customers nodded in agreement for they all respected the wisdom of the great shaman. After finishing their war council they all returned to their separate tents to spread the word. Polt and Violet left for the small rail town, intent in causing mayhem. Only the great shaman remained in Taco Bell ("For the last time, we're closing, get out!"). He gazed tentatively into the fire sauce packet and muttered to himself, "The avarice of the white man knows no bounds. Now it's time to make a stand and stop their greedy expansion and protect our way of life. Tomorrow it begins!"





It was a hot summer day in the American midlands. The sun shone bright on a clear blue sky, only a gentle wind provided relief from the scorching heat. There, on a hill overlooking a river the great shaman of the plains had decided to perch his teepee. The great shaman was old and wise, respected not only by his fellow Native Americans but also by the white men. The great shaman had lived for so long that his old name had long since faded into history; he was now known simply as the Great Cat of the plains. The white men referred to him simply asCatZ had taken shelter in his teepee from the heat. As he overlooked the vast emptiness he sensed a wind of change drift towards him, prompting him to enter the spirit world and find out more. CatZ prepared for the ritual, mixing a special tonic to drink while also burning sacred herbs. As smoke filled the teepee CatZ chanted the sacred words, "Ruut fo ruut". Once he felt his mind quiet he drank the tonic.CatZ opened his eyes to find himself on a cliff. Below him a great river flowed, behind him he could see the empty planes, ahead the gold filled mountains. In the distance he could make out what looked like a great battle. The white people were riding a great metal beast: it blew steam and lumbered on a road of iron. As the beast marched forward all the tribes of the plains were assaulting it, doing everything in their power to stop its advance. Then suddenly the great beast and all the Native Americans were engulfed in a great ball of fire as a thunderous sound emerged from it. The ground beneath CatZ shook violently as a great wave of dust blew towards him, enveloping him and turning the day into night. In that moment CatZ awoke.The vision had troubled the great shaman in a way no other vision had before. He knew he had to warn the other tribes. He exited his tepee in a puff of smoke and yelled for his lackey Hydra , who he had just hired three months ago. Unable to find him, CatZ muttered under his breath and hopped on his horse. As he rode past a ditch he saw the missing delinquent passed out toked on vespene gas, blabbering something about "pidipop pidipop emesel". The young man had yet paid himself off and he was already playing hooky.CatZ raced onward, but as he reached a clearing he saw something in the river: a white man was floating downstream. The shaman went to investigate, and he saw the white man was unconscious and injured, so he decided to pull him out of the water. Upon touching him the shaman had another vision.This white man would face off against another. Upon a mountain of gold the injured man would call forth the crawlers of the earth to swarm forth and swallow the invasion. Then the wise shaman had an idea. He knew that the spirits had sent the man to him for a reason. He would tend to the man's wounds and send him forth to fulfill his destiny: to make the white men fight among themselves. Then in the heat of the conflict the Native Americans would sweep forward and end the white invasion.The white man woke up as CatZ was mending his wounds. As he rose a sharp pain in his abdomen stopped him. CatZ leaned forward and said, "Stay!". The white man was surprised to find the shaman could speak his language. He initiated a conversation, revealing his name, " TRUE " and explained he was a prospector migrating to California, seeking to make his wealth off gold when his companion betrayed him and left him for dead. CatZ nursed TRUE back to health and instructed him to head south to the white settlement. Unbeknownst to TRUE, CatZ had lead him right into the heart of conflict.When TRUE arrived he found the town to be busy and hectic. He discovered that the KeSPA Rail Company was in town and seeking to build a railway from coast to coast. He learned that the company was hiring as many people as possible to carry out their grand design of expanding and conquering all of America. Sensing an opportunity TURN eagerly signed up for the expedition and climbed into a covered wagon.A train was parked in the middle of town, ahead, as far as the eye could see, many workers were busy laying down new tracks . Overseeing the action from his carriage was the wealthy businessman Rain . As he sipped on his favorite brandy his eyes meticulously scoured the surroundings and inspected the workers. In that moment his number one foreman First walked in.: "Yes, what do you have to report?".: "Sir, recruitment rate is through the roof, people from all walks of life are coming to join us on this expedition.": "Excellent, at this rate we'll reach the west coast within a year.": "Sir there might be a problem with that. Our men are nearing Native American territory and the work is grinding to a halt.": "In that case send the Tyrant out to whip the men into submission!": "But sir, even he can't protect them all.": "The cavalry will take care of that.": "They haven't arrive yet sir.": "I don't care, keep the men working, every moment lost is money wasted. Besides, the first dragoon regiment should arrive within a day. Now go, I'm not paying you to sit around!": "Yes sir!"Rain let go an aggravated sigh as he sipped more of his brandy. As he turned his gaze back towards the window something caught his eye. In the distance he could see black smoke coming out of a machine. The contraption in question sported an impossible number of gears. It usually moved forward, slowly laying tracks, however now it had broken down. Rain could make out the silhouette of his odd French mechanic, ForGG , as he made his way towards his invention.Rain muttered a curse to himself. While ForGG's invention sped up the building process considerably, his crazy invention kept breaking down. Thus Rain was forced to hire as many people as possible if he wanted to meet the insane deadline the company had imposed upon him.Later that evening corporal GuMiho finally arrived in town with the rest of his unit. The man was a bit of an anomaly, nobody could quite understand how someone constantly wearing a towel over his hands could also be one of the fastest draws in the west. None the less it garnered him incredible respect and his men would follow him into any conflict without question. His second in command, major Seed pulled up to him and started talking.Seed: "Sir we've been riding for 5 days straight, now that we're in town I believe we could allow our men to unwind a bit before the long trek west."GuMiho: "I agree, let's find the saloon in this dust bowl."At the saloon GuMiho was steated on the second floor overlooking most of the tables, inspecting his men. In one corner stood lieutenants Super and TOP . It seemed as though they were in a the middle of a drinking competition, one that poor TOP was clearly losing. Next to them, the witty major herO was locked in a game of poker with major Seed.On the other side of the saloon, at a table farther away from the rest stood the scouts, three brothers. To say they were eccentric would be an understatement. One of them regularly fished but the men caught him talking to the earthworms. Another had a fixation with roaches, and he attributed his absurd record of sniffing out ambushes to his little crawly friends. The last one was a bit more normal and he acted as a sort of middle man between the brothers and rest of the unit. Weird they may be, but no one could deny that they were the finest scouts on the continent.GuMiho laid back in his chair and took a healthy gulp from his mug of beer. He tried to suppress the thought of another trip out into the scorching sun, of the burden of command, the bureaucracy. Instead his thoughts flashed to the lush valleys of the west and of the gold filled rivers flowing through them.GuMiho contemplated while looking into his golden brew.-"These Company fools have no idea of the treasure they are heading towards, the same treasure me and my men discovered years ago, but could never pursue."-"We just need them to dig deep enough, find enough gold and then bam."-"We eliminate the company men, we take the gold and disappear, the government will think its Native Americans eliminating intruders, the rest of the world will be none the wiser as to what was stolen!"In the middle of the night, on a wild dirt path rode a strange silhouette. It looked like an old man, he rode a mule and hummed a strange tune, only stopping for the occasional sip out of his flask of Red Bull. The man rode into town looking for the bank; he tied up his mule and headed in chirping all the way. Once inside he produced several nuggets of gold to trade. Money in hand, the weird stranger strode across the street to the saloon, intent on celebrating.In the saloon he noticed the presence of the soldiers as well as several workers, the smell of iron still fresh on their clothes. The old fool stood at a small table and inspected his surroundings. After a few minutes he determined who the man in charge was and approached him. Bomber : "Hello there mate, you seem to have had a hard day, buy you a drink?"First: "Yeah today's been hell, and I could use a cold one to wash away the dust."Bomber ordered several drinks and sat down with the foreman. With each mug First revealed more and more regarding the KeSPA Railway Company. With each new detail Bomber's concern grew. However a small idea occurred to him and he started speaking again.: "You're not too far away from the mountains, how do you plan to go through them?": "Pickaxes, black powder and a whole lot of manpower.": "The mountains are of hard rock, regular gunpowder won't cut it, I've got something that might interest you. Come outside."Intrigued, First followed Bomber outside the saloon. Bomber took First a good distance away from the closest building. There he produced a bottle containing a heavy, colorless oily substance as well as a bag of gunpowder. He approached two big rocks, under one he poured the gunpowder, under the other the strange substance. He setup the fuses, went back to a safe distance and then lit it up. Turning to First he said, "watch this!".The gunpowder reached the rock first, exploded and sent the rock hurtling a short distance away. The then the other substance ignited, this time it produced a much larger and louder explosion than First had anticipated. First didn't see any rock left. It had been blow apart in the blast, the only thing left was a small crater where it was.: "What was that stuff?": "I dunno some new invention all the way from Europe. I do however know how to make it.": "Wouldn't you be interested in a job from the company?": "If the pay is good, sure!"Bomber however had no plan on actually fulfilling his job. This company was a threat to his prospecting livelihood and it had to be eliminated. A little bit of substance in a tunnel or say, under a bridge would make quick work of it. It would indeed be a bit trickier than ridding himself of his previous partner, but the payoff could be huge. He'd be the last big prospector and he could make a fortune of all the gold.The Great Shaman stood before a campfire. Surrounding it and him were the chiefs of all the major tribes. MajOr of the Apaches—also known as windy—, qxc of the Cherokee, Harstem of the Comanche, HuK of the Seminoles, Scarlett of the Chickasaws and Snute of the Creeks, puCK of the Iroquois, as well as two cloaked silhouettes.CatZ explained his vision to the other leaders. A clear tension filled the air as the shaman recited more and more details. Finally one of them broke the silence.: "Who cares. Let's play mons instead.": "Who cares. Just don't pick me first.": "I keep telling you people, its not the Koreans that're out to kill us, but the terrans. Fuck terran. If I was trapped in a room with Hitler, Saddam and a terran with 2 bullets and a gun, I'd shoot Hitler and Saddam and then use the gun to bludgeon the Terran knowing that he'd suffer the most before he died.": "...I'm telling you people a crocodile in a bumper car, even one that can't drive a bumper car is more dangerous than a 8 foot baby on a rampage. No one should be picking the crocodile. Unless they're the best Scottish Zerg JohnnryRecco.": "We need to get a raven, and then disguise it as a mutalisk. Then it grows up all its life thinking it's a mutalisk. You send that raven to the flock or murder of mutas, and they will accept it as their own. Finally, when the murder of mutas begins to get too big, the raven hunter seeker missiles them all as they clump.", presses a button on a box and the box proclaims, "#Rottimicro.": "............I hate all of you. Fuck this, I'ma get some Taco Bell I'm out."The great shaman then went to Taco Bell and while munching on his 3rd beef taquito (with guacamole) he came upon a revelation. Rather than fight them and lose strong warriors (he wondered briefly if maybe he should just let them all die anyway, but decided extra meat shields was never a bad thing) he should let the greed of the white men take its toll. He'd have the white men fight each other till they were weak enough to be picked apart. With this in mind, he called upon the two infiltrators. The ones that would keep tabs on them and hasten their demise.At that moment the cloaked men revealed themselves to be white men. The great shaman uttered. "You've already done much for us, if you carry out this last task you will finally be accepted into our tribe. Children shall sing of the mighty heroes, viOLet and Polt cahontes, and how they bravely defended The People!"All the other customers nodded in agreement for they all respected the wisdom of the great shaman. After finishing their war council they all returned to their separate tents to spread the word. Polt and Violet left for the small rail town, intent in causing mayhem. Only the great shaman remained in Taco Bell ("For the last time, we're closing, get out!"). He gazed tentatively into the fire sauce packet and muttered to himself, "The avarice of the white man knows no bounds. Now it's time to make a stand and stop their greedy expansion and protect our way of life. Tomorrow it begins!" Administrator YOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS