There are only 17 days left in 2016, and just when I thought this garbage year was over, the American Association for Cancer Research had to put the kibosh on that idea. Thanks to their new study, my ‘how much white wine can you drink during an episode of The Bachelor‘ days are over.

For those of you (like myself) who know absolutely nothing about science, booze can increase your risk of certain cancers because ~alcohol creates a carcinogenic byproduct when it’s metabolized.~ Damn, I feel smart.

Although we’ve known for a while that alcohol has links to cancer (Wait, we have?), we didn’t know it had links to skin cancer until now. Great, now I can’t get tan or have a bottle glass of pinot greege. According to the study, daily drinkers have a 14 percent greater risk of melanoma than non-drinkers, with a 73 percent greater risk of skin cancers in areas that aren’t typically exposed to the sun if you drink 20 or more grams of alcohol per day (aka about a standard drink and a half).

Ya hear that friends?! Better switch to red wine ASAP! In the meantime, I’ll be sleeping my way through the rest of the year before something else happens. No, not like that. Goodnight, ya’ll. ✌️