grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

GA: And Because You Are So Persistent On Squirming To Make Things Infinitely More Difficult For Me But Also Because You Are Starkly Aware Of How Much Of A Disadvantage I Have You At I Place One Hand On Your Hip So That I Will Finally Be Able To Spread Your Legs Apart

GA: Shit

GA: Jade Im So Sorry

GA: That Was Meant For Rose

GG: ummmmmm...

GA: Oh My Goodness Rest Assured My Face Has Currently Been Relocated Into The Cradle Of My Palms And The Lease For Such A Residence Will Not End In The Foreseeable Future

GG: hehe you sound really stressed out kanaya

GG: don't worry about it! i was just confused because i dont remember being that stubborn

GA: Oh

GG: so you're roleplaying with rose?

GA: I

GA: Suppose That Is One Way Of Putting It

GG: is it a private game?

GA: I Am Not Entirely Certain Of What You Mean

GA: Although Rose And I Have Never Made Any

GA: Commitments

GA: Towards One Another So To Speak

GG: can i play?

GA: Jade

GA: Are You Entirely Certain You Understand The Nature Of This Game

GA: If I Used Punctuation There Would Be Air Quotes Around The Word Game

GG: gosh kanaya i'm not stupid. i know cyber sex when i see it!

GA: Well

GA: That Certainly Clears Up My Previous Query And Remarkably Leaves No Room For Confusion To Continue To Linger In This Conversation Really I Wish Everyone Could Be As Straight Forward At Crucial Moments As You Are Jade

GA: But

GA: Are You Absolutely Certain That You Wish To Do That

GA: With Me

GG: if you don't want to you can just say so :(

GG: i know i'm not as wordy as rose and i don't make metaphors seem like my first language, but i won't be that bad

GA: Oh No Please Dont Misunderstand Me

GA: I Admit To Being More Than A Little Intrigued By The Idea

GA: So Intrigued In Fact That I Cannot Convince Myself That Things Are Really Unravelling In A Way That Benefits Me So Thoroughly

GG: hehe... “intrigued”

GA: Yes I Am Truly A Master Of Words

GA: Okay Can We Please Start Now Before One Of Us Loses Our Nerve

GA: We Should First Determine The Scenario Location Etc So As Not To Hinder Ourselves Later With Conflicting Story Lines

GG: ok, the story line is...

GG: we've just got back from a date and had three whole bottles of wine to ourselves!

GG: and the location is my sofa because it's right next to my front door

GG: sorry if that seems boring

GA: Oh No Not Boring At All It Sounds Wonderful

GA: Sometimes Simplicity Can Be The Most Malleable Situation Of All

GG: :)

GG: do you want to start?

GA: Oh Yes Very Much So

GA: Now That We Have Finally Stumbled Back Into Your Apartment Though I Could Not Very Well Keep My Hands Entirely Off Of You In The Elevator Under The Guise That I Wanted To Admire Your Dress Through Receptacles That Werent Entirely Visual I Have Encircled My Arms Around Your Small Waist And Fallen Onto The Sofa With You

GA: We Are Immediately Irreversibly Close And With That Much Alcohol In My System I Cannot Bring Myself To Be Timid Because Of It

GA: So I Thank You For A Wonderful Evening And Once Again Tell You How Beautiful You Look As I Leave Kisses Up And Down The Side Of Your Neck And My Hands Move Of Their Own Accord Making More And More Creases In Your Dress

GG: ok

GG: because you're so warm and pretty i really can't do anything else but pull you on top of me on the sofa and i don't mind at all when my dress ends up around my waist

GG: oh you're probably wearing a dress too, because you like those!

GG: so i'd be able to slowly brush my legs against yours while i make a little moaning sound as you kiss my neck in just the right place

GA: Oh

GA: I Bring One Hand To The Side Of Your Head To Run My Fingertips Through Your Hair

GA: Because With Your Legs Rubbing Tortuously Slowly Against My Own I Am Satisfied That I Do Not Need To Hitch Your Dress Up Any More

GA: And The Moan That You Let Out Makes My Throat Go Dry And I Am Determined To Hear More So I Run My Tongue Out Against Your Soft Skin

GG: awwww kanaya you're so sweet!

GG: rose never pays attention to all the little things like that, you're making me blush.

GA: Rose

GA: You Do This With Rose

GG: errrrrrrrrrrrrrr......

GG: shouldn't i have said that did it kill the mood?

GA: Oh No Not At All You Could Say That I Am

GA: Rather Intrigued

GG: ok, then i'll tell you a secret.

GG: rose and i have been tangle buddies since college

GA: Tangle Buddies

GG: yup!

GG: don't you think that's a cute way of putting it?

GA: While Cute Indeed Should Be My First Thought I Am Forced To Recollect The Way In Which Tangle Buddies Join Together

GA: And

GA: Well

GA: That Certainly Makes For Some Interesting Mental Images

GG: rose liked to go on the bottom :p

GA: This Is Terribly Salacious And I Am Tempted To Ask For More Details Before We Continue Our Session On The Sofa But

GA: It Just Now Occurs To Me That I Have Left Rose In A Rather Perilous Situation And I Ought Tend To Her

GA: As I Do Not Wish To Take The Brunt Or Any Of Her Irritation Tomorrow

GG: brb then?

GA: Yes That Acronym Is Correct

GG: <3

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

GA: And Because You Are So Persistent On Squirming To Make Things Infinitely More Difficult For Me But Also Because You Are Starkly Aware Of How Much Of A Disadvantage I Have You At I Place One Hand On Your Hip So That I Will Finally Be Able To Spread Your Legs Apart

TT: I arch up towards your open palm, body immediately drawn to your touch by the warmth of your skin, and in that moment of hazy delirium in which I can only tremble and spread my legs for you, I truly believe that the mattress beneath me is of no comfort, and that you're the only one who can hope to sap the tension from my writhing form. Slowly. And at the thought of finally surrendering myself to you, of ceasing this ever-frustrating game of Hard To Get, I gasp out a single sentence. My throat is dry, but the words are clear, echoing from the low ceiling above us:

TT: “Fuck you, Maryam, don't think I'm not aware that you absconded in order to seduce Jade.”

GA: Well Shit

GA: It Seems That None Of Us Have Any Secrets Anymore

GA: I Must Say I Was Aware Of The Fact That A Revelation Of Sorts Was Coming From The Moment You Suggested That You Were Going To Surrender Yourself To Me

GA: You Never Do That As Much I Would Like You To You Merely Allow Me A Few Moments In Which The Illusion Of Control Floods My Senses And Helps Me Better Do Your Bidding

TT: And unlike certain people, Jade is capable of carrying out more than one conversation at once.

TT: Or do I not intrigue you as much anymore? I feel that we should talk about this, Kanaya. Open up our virtual notepads and make a list of new things to try out. We could indulge in a sensual round of nyotaimori, if it catches your interest. Think of all the words we would have to employ to properly describe what was happening. The thesaurus abuse is making me tingle in the way that your kisses first did.

GA: Okay First Of All Rose

GA: I See Your Use Of The Word Intrigue But I Do Not Particularly Care How Much Jade Did Or Did Not Copy And Paste To You

GA: And Secondly No That Is Absolutely Not A Thing We Are Doing

GA: It Did Not End Well The Last Time

TT: Admittedly, the tentacles were taking it a bit far.

GA: Rose

GA: Stop That We Agreed That It Would Be Something We Didnt Speak Of

TT: You agreed to that much, Kanaya. But don't act as if it wasn't enjoyable to you. I still have the chatlogs.

GA: Okay That Is An Instance Of Copy And Pasting That I Do Not Approve Of

GA: Delete That File At Once Rose

TT: Why? Some nights, it's all I have to keep my putrid loins warm.

TT: Here it is.

TT: GA: Oh Rose The Untold Pleasure Is Making Me Enunciate Harder

GA: Rose You Are Being Absolutely Ridiculous That Doesnt Even Sound Like Me

GA: And I Do Not Enunciate With Pleasure

GA: No Matter How Tentacleacular It May Have Been

TT: So it won't be a repeat performance?

GA: Maybe Once You Finally Relent And Let Me Have My Way With You

TT: Oh, tempting. The tentacles call to me, but in your absence, I had to resort to other sources.

GA: What

GA: Who

TT: Jealously becomes you, Kanaya.

TT: …

TT: I'm sorry to admit that it was Vriska.

GA: I Currently Have The Most Perplexed Expression On My Face For I Am Aware That The Two Of You Have Long Since Detested One Another

TT: We absolutely do. That spark of hatred adds a certain je ne sais quoi into the act. Something that you tend to lack, seeing as you're far too insistent on wooing me.

TT: Face it, Kanaya. You've had me virtually bent over the kitchen counter one too many times to think to swoon me.

GA: Your Words Are Scathing Rose Really I Could Not Be More Wounded There Is A Dank Coppery Liquid Seeping From My Rhythmically Beating Cardiovascular Organ Into The Surrounding Muscular Structure And Threatening To Fill My Lungs

GA: But I Will Not Even Pretend That I Do Not Wish To Hear More About You And Vriska

GA: So Okay Im Admitting To My Curiosity Now

TT: I'm not going to pass up the chance to show off. Hold on, I'll copy and paste the good parts to you.

GA: The Whole Thing Then

TT: Precisely.

GA: Oh Deeply Agitated Exhalation Noise

GA: I Will Be Back Within A Relatively Short Stretch Of Time

TT: Missing you already.

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

CG: OH KANAYA, THANK FUCK YOU'RE ONLINE, I NEARLY HAD TO RESORT TO TALKING TO ERIDAN. AND YOU KNOW HOW THAT ALWAYS GOES, YOU SAY ANYTHING REMOTELY RELATED TO YOUR POTENTIALLY ROMANTIC INTEREST IN A BIPEDAL BEING AND HE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMES IT'S HIM. NO MATTER WHAT YOU TELL HIM. PROTESTING JUST MAKES IT SEEM ALL THE MORE PLAUSIBLE.

CG: HELLO?

CG: WELL, FUCK, I SEE HOW IT IS. I HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD FOR YOU, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO NEEDING TEN SECONDS OF ADVICE, IF YOU CAN EVEN KEEP IT THAT BRIEF, IT'S RADIO SILENCE FOR KARKAT. THANKS A FUCKING LOT.

GA: Not Now Karkat Im Busy

CG: BUSY WITH WHAT? WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN LENDING AN EAR TO YOUR BEST FRIEND WHO'S CLEARLY IN DISTRESS BECAUSE THE WHOLE FUCKING UNIVERSE IS STACKED UP IN A JENGA PILE AGAINST HIM, AND A CERTAIN FUCKASS IS PULLING OUT THE PIECES ONE BY ONE.

GA: Karkat

GA: We Can Discuss Certain Fuckasses Later But Now Im

GA: Busy

CG: YOU CAN SAY THAT ALL YOU WANT, BUT IT'S STILL A SHITTY EXCUSE.

GA: How Are You Still Not Getting This

CG: GETTING WHAT? I'M NOT A FUCKING DETECTIVE, KANAYA.

GA: I Am Currently Preoccupied With Certain Parts Of The Female Anatomy Which You Disengaged Interest From Upon Doing A Gentlemanly Swoon In Johns General Direction

GA: I Really Didnt What To Put It Like That But There You Have Forced Me To Be Blunt

CG: OH, GOD. WHAT THE FUCK? NO. NO. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HAVING YOUR WAY WITH LALONDE OR SERKET OR WHO THE HELL ELSE IS JUMPING YOUR BONES IN THE ENDLESS SAPPHIC SYMPOSIUM THAT IS YOUR LIFE AND TELLING ME ABOUT IT.

CG: ON THE SAME KEYBOARD.

GA: Well Since Im Being Perfectly Honest Jade Is Also Involved

CG: JADE?

CG: WHAT?

CG: THAT'S JUST TAKING IT TOO FAR. JESUS CHRIST, SHE'S ONE CHROMOSOME AWAY FROM BEING JOHN.

CG: PLEASE.

CG: JUST BLOCK ME.

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG]

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

GA: I Am Back And My Best Friendly Duties Are Fulfilled For This Month

TT: You scarred Karkat for life, didn't you?

GA: Something Like That I Swear He Was Being Intentionally Dense

TT: I'll have to say hi after this.

TT: Ok, it's ready.

tentacleTherapist [TT] transferred the file sayonethingandmeananother.txt to grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] opened the file sayonethingandmeananother.txt



TT: With my hands bound above my head as they are, I can hardly do anything to retaliate. I try to move my arms regardless, and this only irritates me further. Much the same happens when I kick my legs and find that your weight is pushed down upon them. And so I do all that I can: I scowl up at you, wishing I could bite the grin off your face.

AG: Haha, ok. That's what you'd like me to think! I know the reeeeeeeeal reason you're not struggling is 8ecause you've finally learnt your place. :::;)

AG: I swing one leg over so I'm no longer straddling your thighs, so I can have my way with you.

AG: Eveeeeeeeentually.

TT: Oh yes, elongate your words more.

AG: Shut up, Lalonde. It really kills the mood when you open your dum8 mouth.

AG: Anyway, speaking of mouths, I decide that mine is too good to waste on you today! Even though I know that's what you usually end up 8egging for.

TT: Interesting. So you're saying that I beg in my sleep? While unconscious? Because I see no other way to validate the apparent gaps in my memory.

AG: Ugh, I can't 8elieve I didn't gag you.

TT: You like the banter too much.

AG: And when you scream.

AG: So are you going to let me fuck you or not?

TT: Yes, yes.

TT: Now that you've moved from my thighs, I'm free to bend my knees up, spreading my legs apart. Which I do, because I know you're never one to linger over formalities. My breathing comes heavily, out of anticipation, and my lips part ever so slightly, eyes half-lidded.

AG: This is all very needy needy desperate and awesome, 8ut I tangle my fingers in your hair, pulling your head 8ack, making you look up at me.

TT: I frown all the more for being forced to stare into the cerulean swirl of your eyes, but I stand my ground. My body may be weak and I may be bound, but I can still stare you down.

AG: And how easy will thaaaaaaaat 8e when I push two of my fingers inside of you? I don't worry a8out warning you, 8ecause I know that you'll 8e more than prepared for me.

TT: Oh, but it catches me off-guard regardless, and I finally break. My heavy breathing becomes a soft moan, and my hips lift towards your hand, urging your fingers in deeper.

TT: I know that you won't hesitate to give me what I want and I hate you for that. The resentment is written all across my face, even as I gasp, eyes wide. I hate myself for giving in so easily.

AG: Keep going.

TT: And then I move all that I can, as much as my bonds will allow. I arch my back, and crane my head forwards, until I can press my lips to the shell of your ear.

TT: I do not have much strength left to focus, but I bite at your ear, letting out desperate, pleading little whimpers, and manage to whisper:

TT: “You remind me of my mother with your hair down like that.”

AG: ........

AG: ........ x8

AG: UGH. Wh8t the f8ck, Lal8nde?

TT: What? Was it something I said?

AG: F8cking Freud8an bitch!!!!!!!!

TT: Do I win this round?

AG: F8CK Y8U. arachnidsGrip [AG] blocked tentacleTherapist [TT]

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] closed the file sayonethingandmeananother.txt

GA: Oh My

GA: Rose That Is Quite Devious Of You I Must Say That From My Reaction To The First Bulk Of The Conversation Compared To The Crushing Disappointment At The End I Cannot Even Imagine How Vriska Feels Right Now

GA: However I Am Also Currently Suffering From A Bout Of Laughter Though I Doubt She Can See The Humour In The Situation

TT: I try my best.

GA: Do Your Conversations With Vriska Always End In That Way

TT: Oh, not always. Sometimes we see things through, because if I wound her up each and every time, she wouldn't want to take part in any sessions with me at all.

GA: Hmm Yeah Thats A Point

GA: Little Does She Realise That The Thrill Of Disturbing Her So Deeply Probably Does Much More To Help You On Your Way Than The Finale Of The Mouth Related Movements She Alluded To

GA: Oh

TT: What's the Oh for?

GA: Vriska Is Pestering Me Hold On Id Better Put On A Straight Face Before Talking To Her

TT: Have fun with that. Tell her to let her hair down.

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

arachnidsGrip [AG] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

AG: Heeeeeeeey K8naya.

AG: H8w's 8t going?

GA: Oh Hello Vriska This Is Entirely Unexpected

GA: And Clearly Done Completely Out Of The Blue I Am Thoroughly Convinced This Is Just A Regular Conversation

AG: Haha, wh8t???????? Who h8ve you been t8lking to?

GA: I Dont Need To Talk To Anyone Other Than You Look At All The Eights In Your Words Vriska

GA: Mathematicians In Third World Countries Are Unable To Complete Even The Most Basic Equations To Feed Their Families And Yet There You Are Throwing Eights Around As If They Grow On Trees

AG: ::::/

AG: I'm just typing too f8st, that's all!

AG: fast*

AG: Goddammit.

GA: Hmmm Yes Well Anyway Hello

AG: Ok, if you can stop 8eing weird for five minutes.

AG: Can I come over?

GA: What Right Now Its Already Late Vriska

AG: It's not thaaaaaaaat l8. It's 8arely gone eleven!

GA: Be That As It May I Am Getting Up For Work At Seven AM Tomorrow And As Such Would Like To Be Asleep Within The Next Two Hours

AG: What the hell, Fussyface. 1) you're self-employed, and 2) you're rich. Get up when you want!

GA: The Reason I Am Financially Comfortable Is Because I Do Not Allow Myself To Lie In

AG: Whatever. So can I come over or not????????

GA: Ill Think About It

AG: Ok, cool.

AG: Take your time. 8ecause I'm not in any hurry or anything.

AG: I'm as cool as a cucum8er.

AG: In fact, next to me, cucum8ers aren't cool at all! You could easily mistake them for one of the many, many irons in my fire!

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

GA: On Second Thought The Acronym Be Right Back Was Not Particularly Fitting At All As I Did Not Return In A Prompt Manner

GA: I Was Caught Up Between Rose Karkat And Vriska Its A Long Story Best Saved For Another Time

GG: oh man

TT: it's like they knew what we were up to and were conspiring against us

GA: Yes That Is Exactly What It Was Like

GA: Shall We Continue Where We Left Off

GG: ummmmm...

GA: That Is Never A Good Sound Effect To Make

GG: i'm sorry! but while you were busy rose messaged me and now......

GA: Are You Going To Treat Me To The End Of That Sentence Or Am I Expected To Guess

GG: we're kind of playing witches and wizards >_>

GA: Oh I See Why That Would Take Precedent Over Our Activities

GG: wait, don't be disappointed

GG: i still want to play with you kanaya

GG: i just can't focus on two things like that at once

GG: i know! i could ask rose to invite you to the conversation

While That Is Certainly Tempting I Must Decline I Am Not Yet Prepared To Be Humiliated In Front Of You

GG: oh ok :(

GG: tomorrow night?

GA: Well I Would Hate To Miss Out

GA: It Is As They Say A Date

GG: yay! <3

GA: Yes I Am Returning That Emoticon Heart To You Right Now

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

GA: Okay I Have Reached A Decision

AG: I hope for your sake that it's the right one!

GA: You May Come Over Though It Seems Unlikely That My Decision Has That Much Impact On The Matter Anyway Seeing As I Am Expecting A Knock At My Door From You At Any Moment

GA: Considering That You Are Apparently Now Signed Onto Pesterchum From Your Cellular Device

AG: :::;)

AG: 8lame Lalonde.

AG: See ya. <33333333