4 Warning Signs Your Thoughts Are Giving You a Negative Life

If you’re like me, chances are you constantly deal with negative thoughts. You sometimes doubt your abilities, what your limitations are, and where you should aim your life directions at.

But what we sometimes forget is the importance of properly guiding our thoughts before they lead us into a negative direction. Some people become mindful of themselves before they stir into a bad direction as others face harsh consequences.

Take, for instance, Johnny thinks of himself as a failure because of a mistake he made at work. He remembers being humiliated because his boss yelled at him and his coworkers laughed. As a result, he sees the world is against him and immediately raises his guard, thus preventing himself from sharing positive emotions at the workplace. As a result, his job becomes miserable and he dwells on the terrifying thoughts of going to work every morning.

Your mind is like a puppy and without properly training it, it’ll act on its own the moment its emotions takes over it. It’ll bark at whatever situation it feels threatened by and run away from anything it feels it can’t handle.

Some people learn to control their thoughts as others are controlled by it. To relieve you from facing this obstacle with major confusions, we’d like to talk to you about the dangerous thoughts that can lead you into a negative life.

#1 Thinking Like a Chameleon

You like thought experiments? Well it doesn’t matter because we’re doing one anyway.

First, think of a yellow car. Concentrate on the details of any particular car you’ve seen in your life. It can even be the Bubble Bee from Transformers. Focus on its contours and dimensions. Study the image of that car for a few minutes.

Now think of either the most embarrassing or scariest event in your entire life. Really go deep in your recollection of experiences. It could have been the moment you got rejected. It could be the time you got beat up. It could be the moment you received a wedgie. Whatever situation you think of, recollect how it made you feel and stay with those feelings for a few minutes.

If you’re like most people, chances are you noticed those two different thoughts had produced very different emotional experiences. So what’s happening?

When you imagine something such as a yellow car, you can’t become attached to that object. Your mind acts as a mirror that reflects whatever is brought before it without becoming the thing it’s reflecting. Without any true connections to whatever object you imagine, you’ll only see it as a fact than an experience. Whether you think about a potato, a leaf, or a piano, most objects you think about won’t stir your thoughts too much.

However, when you think of an experience such as your most embarrassing or scariest moment, you relive that experience. You conjure those old feelings that relates to whatever happened in the past. You become less like a mirror and more like a chameleon. You depart from your previous state and travel back into the state of mind when you dealt with that experience.

This is when the mindset of living in the past comes into play. It’s why whenever Timmy thinks back at the time Samantha rejected him at the bar, he’s bound to forever be rejected by females. It’s why whenever Britney remembers the time she was bullied in class, she’ll automatically assume most people won’t like her.

Reliving any negative experience can range from mildly upsetting to excruciatingly painful. Thus, be the mirror instead of the chameleon and become mindful of your thoughts. Learn to observe them in a logical way rather than fusing with them.

If you made a mistake in the past, accept them and avoid them in the future. If something uncomfortable happened in the past, take it as an unsettling experience and move on. You can’t undo a rejection in the future, but you can handle yourself better the next time it happens.

Don’t pretend the past didn’t happen because you assume that’ll set you free. That’ll be like throwing your bills away, pretending you never saw them. Refusing to acknowledge your bills won’t make the electricity or water company not cut off your utilities.

Being mindful is accepting what you observe and learning to be a the mirror of your experiences. That way, you acknowledge that they exist, but you avoid the temptations of letting them manipulate you.

#2 Looking Far ahead and far behind

Focus on the current moment as much as you can. People who think too far ahead fail to act in the present. They’re so busy planning their life that they fail to start the process to work on it.

Back at my old job, I noticed a few people I worked with constantly planning each step to get to the next area in their life. But what had harmed them most was refusing to take any actions until their entire life was mapped out and guaranteed. They refused to start their business because they didn’t have enough money. They refused to start exercising because they didn’t have the proper clothing.

I’ve seen and heard enough entrepreneurs who offered their advice to know that one of the first rules to success is the ability to act on your thoughts rather than your emotions. Planning ahead and seeing the future is a must if your intentions are to go somewhere. But if you’re planning the future more than you are acting in the present, you’re doing something wrong.

You’re never going to be ready to fully commit yourself to anything because you can’t read the future. You’re going to reach situations where you’re going to have to restructure your plans. You’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to have to change a few ideas. But as long as you just start, you’ll be closer to reaching your destinations than if you were just to wait still.

A particular problem I noticed was that my friends wanted to wait until their lives were perfect before they spoke to females. They thought once they lost weight, had more money, and raised their confidence, that’s they’ll be able to flirt with women.

But all they really did was stall until they regretted those decisions. By the time they had reached their previous goals, they had no real experience speaking to females. They never had the confidence they wanted whenever it related to approaching women and continued backing away because they weren’t comfortable yet.

Thus, don’t wait until the time is right because you’ll never know when that’ll be the case. There’s always going to be an uncertainty in you. There’s always going to be a dribble of doubt that things won’t go your way. But that doesn’t mean you should put a lid on it until you feel comfortable with it.

I’m never comfortable with speaking in a room full of people. I’m actually quite terrified because I feel like I might say something stupid and get booed off the stage. But I continue anyway because there is no right moment for me. All I can do is speak about what’s in my mind and go with the flow. I might not be comfortable at first, but the longer I remain on the “hot seat” the more relaxed I become.

Start Building memories instead of living in them. Start creating your future instead of just hoping for a better one. If you don’t do this, your life will become a fog that will only be filled with the unknowns and possibilities.

#3 Being Impatient with Yourself

When I was a child, I always knew I wanted to be a writer. Of course I wasn’t sure what kind of career I wanted to take as a writer. I originally thought about being a screen writer, but it occasionally changed.

However, during the course of my childhood, I occasionally thought about finding a career in other hobbies until I actually tried them out. Although I enjoyed creating minor video games and drawing, they weren’t the careers I thought I wanted.

Some people know from a young age exactly what the want to do with their lives. Some people assume they know and when they try it, realize it’s not for them. Some people never know what they want to do and try different things throughout their lives. As a result, they develop depression and a sense of worthlessness. They question their own value to the world and what they got to offer.

But know that it’s okay whether you know what you want to do with your life or not. What your passion or destiny is isn’t going to be a pop quiz question that you need to answer eventually. Everyone has an equal valid life path they’re meant to take whether they find it or not. The most important part is to simply explore.

You might not know what you want to do with your life, but perhaps you already helped hundreds of people without even realizing it. Perhaps you have an amazing ability to make other people feel good about themselves, thus motivating them to do great things. Maybe your smile is the inspiration someone needs to help them beat depression.

Just move towards doing what you think you want to do and you’ll meet the people that will help you define your vision. This means socializing more often and helping other people besides yourself. Avoid being selfish and learn to deal with stepping outside of your comfort bubble.

#4 Assuming You’re Flawless

You won’t have the answers to life. You’re going to make mistakes. You’re not going to be the perfect person you envisioned. You’re going to fall to your temptations. You’re going to do things you’re not proud of. You’re going to “accidentally” lie to someone. But don’t take these mistakes as a sign that you’re worthless.

Whether you fail a test, say something silly, or anything else that gives you the wrong perception about reality, don’t let them define you. Accept that you make mistakes and be proud of them because those are the lessons you learn best out of life. You learn a little bit about yourself every time you make a mistake or experience failure.

Anyone could be a critic rather than a doer. Ignore the critics and surround yourself with positive people who learn from their failures. Pride will only hold you back from doing the things you know you should be doing.

Humans connect with each other because they’re not perfect machines. Don’t be afraid to show your flaws and be yourself. Be authentic and visible. Reveal your story and how you got to be the person you became.

Many of the greatest successes have failed repeatedly until they finally got it right. Failure breeds success. As Thomas Edison said, “every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” Don’t allow your pride get in the way of achieving your goals. What’s more important? Pride now or success later?

Enjoyed This Article?

Share it with your friends on Facebook

For more like these,

10 Toxic Beliefs that Makes Life Difficult

5 Ways to Deal With Failure

5 things that could be giving you a depressed life

10 personal confessions on how they beat Depression