It’s starting to heat up now. The hooey that surrounds the transfer window is moving up from simmering to sizzling, and before long it’ll be broiling, then it’ll set on fire, dinner will be spoiled and we’ll have to have cheese sandwiches again. In summary: with only a few days to go until January, the gossip is at least starting to get a little more intense and earnest, even if the actual transfers aren’t quite at that point yet.

But let’s start with a managerial move. The topic of who’s going to be Swansea’s next manager is a piping hot one, and thrown into the ring is a hat, a hat belonging to one Harry Redknapp. Yessir, the man last seen limping away from a doomed QPR because of a gammy knee, a knee mercifully now restored to full health, thinks Swansea could be just his sort of caper, and what’s more he wants to take John Terry with him. Remarkable how Swansea have gone from being one of the most likeable clubs in the league to, well, not. Other, perhaps more realistic candidates for the gig are Chris Coleman, Gary Rowett and Ryan Giggs, with the latter apparently chairman Huw Jenkins’s preferred choice.

Patrice Evra, star of Instagram and occasional games of football, is heading back to England. An emotional return to Manchester United? Perhaps to link up with former Juventus boss Antonio Conte? Maybe a chance to heal old wounds with David Moyes? Nope, none of them: apparently West Ham is the place, with a lack of playing time in Italy meaning he will accept absolutely anything, even if that is running around a state-funded bowl in east London somewhere as those around him stumble around in assorted forms of shambles.

If you keep your ear to the ground, you’ll surmise that Chelsea are looking for some help in midfield. Their £21m bid for Atalanta midfielder Franck Kessié apparently wasn’t quite what the Italian club was looking for, but don’t worry: they’ve got other plans. Specifically, Radja Nainggolan-shaped plans, with a £51m – £51m! – bid in the works for the Roma midfielder. And if that doesn’t work, then they’ve got their little hearts set on Bayern’s Arturo Vidal, which does sound a little like ordering the burger, learning the restaurant has run out and instead opting for the filet mignon.

Here’s a weird one. Sam Allardyce, freshly installed as the new Crystal Palace manager, is cross. Specifically, cross with Wilfried Zaha for the crime of choosing to represent the country of his birth. Even more specifically, cross with Zaha to the point of selling him for £30m. Apparently Allardyce is so vexed with Zaha’s decision to play for Ivory Coast in the upcoming Africa Cup of Nations that he’d rather be rid of him completely and have the money, even though Zaha will be gone for a month, tops, and perhaps an even shorter spell if things don’t work out for them there. Still, if Zaha is available, then Tottenham are keen.

It sounds like January might be an interesting month at Old Trafford. José Mourinho seemed dead set on bringing Benfica defender Victor Lindelhof to Manchester United, but has now apparently decided things are fine at the back and they won’t bother. In addition to a man not arriving, another seemingly won’t be leaving, as United have wagged their collective finger at Anthony Martial and told him he won’t be leaving for Sevilla on loan, not on your nelly young man. However one move that does sound rather plausible is Marcos Rojo, who could be taking his absurd two-footed challenges with him to Valencia.

You’ll probably be aware that Liverpool are among the clubs testing the water for Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, but did you know that they’re also sniffing around PSG’s winger Jesé Rodríguez? And did you also know that Arsenal have apparently ear-marked Marco Reus to replace Alexis Sánchez, should the Chilean leave? Well, yes, probably you did, as the gossip columns have featured little else in recent weeks. Also in the news is speculation that Max Allegri wants the Arsenal job, should Arsené Wenger ever retire. Carl Jenkinson, that hapless son of banter, should be leaving the Emirates in January, with five clubs – specifically Watford, Hull City, Swansea, West Ham and Aston Villa – keen.

Elsewhere Everton are looking to spend big, firstly on Charlton youngster Ademola Lookman, but also on Morgan Schneiderlin and Virgil van Dijk, the latter in particular looking like a rather ambitious move. Middlesbrough are closing in on Aston Villa battering ram Rudy Gestede. And Emmanuel Adebayor could be back, back, back in the game, with Ligue 1 side Montpellier.