I remember once hearing someone remarking to another person, “I guess it’s normal in marriage for a couple to argue. I don’t see how you can be married and not argue.” I looked over at the person who had been listening to watch for her reaction. She blinked. Then she said, “Well, my husband and I never argue.” And that was the end of that conversation.

Which of the following scenarios sounds most typical: a marriage where arguing is common, a marriage where arguing never happens, or something in between? I know where I find myself on that spectrum.

Naturally, as a woman who wears a head covering to church every Sunday as a symbol of submission to the leadership of my husband (see 1 Cor. 11:2-16), I feel especially vulnerable to scrutiny on this point. For example, if I were to wear a head covering but argue with my husband regularly, what would that make me? I shudder at the thought.

Whatever may be typical for us, the Bible clearly states what should be the norm for followers of Christ:

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” (NIV, Phil. 2:14-15a)

It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (Prov. 20:3)

It also says these strong words about argumentative wives:

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. (Prov. 21:19)

and

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. (Prov. 25:24)

Clearly, God’s goal for us is to be peaceful in our interactions with others and to avoid argumentative habits. Yes, that’s the goal — but unfortunately we don’t always live up to it. What then? Do we stop wearing a head covering because it makes us feel hypocritical?

That’s a good question, and I believe I have an equally good answer.

Here’s the way I, personally, view the head covering: It’s a practical life tool. Read more