Saido BerahinoHas the international break come at a bad time for Chelsea? Conte has set his foot soldiers off to their countries with ample amounts of cotton wool to wrap themselves up in. Just as you find a winning formula you lose players to be coached in defending by Gareth Southgate. Infuriating I would imagine. Staying with Chelsea, if Michy Batshuayi was as prolific on the pitch as he was on social media then Conte would have a world beater on his hands. As it stands though, he is just another over-rated Belgian not fit to lace the boots of the Belgians that are quite good. I’ll let you decide which camp Fellaini lumbers into.

Talking of players on social media, Saido Berahino has tried to get Tony Pulis’ attention by sending him photos of his six pack. Now now Saido, I am sure this works with the girls of West Bromwich, but Tony is a little tougher to please. Back to fat camp now lad.

Lord Zlatan came out yesterday to apologise for getting himself suspended for the post-international-break fixture against Arsenal. Zlatan, until you scored twice against Swansea I thought you’d been banned for five games! Luke Shaw is baffled by Jose apparently. He is not the only one. Even in victory Jose finds a way to take down his players in the media. Shaw, recently recovered from a sickening leg break, is apparently not “brave” as he felt a problem in the leg he had previously broken and thought more of his career than to risk it in Swansea. The chances are Shaw will be at United long after Mourinho, so he probably made the right call. I have to admit to being a little baffled myself today. Rooney has more assists than Ozil and Pogba finally did something that was worth showing off that inane celebration.

Traditionally, if your chairman comes out in public and says anything positive after you’ve been stuffed 5-0, it normally means you can expect your P45 in the not too distant. Ronald Koeman may well be double checking the direct translation for “vote of confidence” after being told his board “trust” him and they are planning to give him a skip full of cash to spend on players in January.

You might have thought Spurs spent all week working on their new formation – not a bit of it. The Poch rocked up to their team meeting less than 24 hours before kick off and told them they were going three at the back, according to Eric Dier. Sunday league tactics for the Sunday lunchtime kick off, excellent.

Jordan Henderson has stated that you get nothing for being top in November. I know it has been a long time since Liverpool have had to worry how the top of the table works, but we don’t need it explaining to us.

Jordan Ibe can be anything he wants, according to Eddie Howe. Howe would presumably like that to become a wide man with a decent final ball and an element of consistency sometime in the immediate future. Still, even Cristiano took a little while to cotton on to that. Mind you, he had Roy Keane barking at him not Jack Wilshere.

Emile Heskey has come up with a novel concept for Leicester – get to 40 points and take it from there. Emile, I hate to break this to you, but I think Claudio was preaching this last season. It’s not new news to his boys. Though this time, I think Claudio might actually mean it.

Hector Bellerin is close to a new contract extension, according to sources at Arsenal. I’d imagine a true Gooner will wait until he has seen Bellerin’s name signed in blood on the paper before getting too carried away. They’ve lost a few who were “close” to a new contract extension over the years.

As the Premier League news is likely to get scarce over the next few days I shall refrain from mentioning anything England for the next day or so. Otherwise I might start shouting something along the lines of “Jagielka? Are you kidding me?”