Disneyland pumps the scent of vanilla (or peppermint, if you’re there around Christmas) into the streets. Why? Because the smell of vanilla reduces stress and anxiety. It facilitates a general sense of wellbeing. (And it makes you want to buy junk food.) The fragrance you wear not only effects your state of mind, but that of the people around you. Here are a few perfumes that really drive home an impression.



If you want someone to think you have a more intimate relationship than you actually have, try Nude from Bill Blass. This perfume is like answering the door in a towel because you think it’s your significant other/mom/best friend but it’s actually the pizza guy. You’re ok with it because, hey, at least you remembered the towel this time. Nude projects the kind of self-assuredness you only have around the people that you are closest to.

If you want people to think you are in middle school, try Pink Sugar from Aquolina. This perfume couldn’t have a more astute name if they called it “Kitten Gumdrop Princess”. It’s absurdly stereotypical-adolescent-girly. It’s quite possibly the most cloying perfume ever made. Best when worn with a Juicy Couture track suit and too much lip gloss.

If you want people to think you read Russian literature for fun, smoke cigars and own a Yves Saint Laurent tuxedo, try Tabac Blond from Caron (vintage formulation). It positively oozes sophistication and independence. You don’t just happen upon vintage Tabac Blond like the newest Thierry Mugler. Its very hard to find and usually quite expensive. That’s apart of the appeal and that’s why it’s so effective. A woman that wears Tabac Blond has no interest in being trendy because, in her mind, trendy equals common. This perfume is strictly for the uncommon.

If you want people to think you’re the aloof type, try L’Heure Bleue from Guerlain. It’s a perfect femme fatale perfume. Beautiful but troubled. This is the perfume to wear when you’re going to ask someone to do something illegal because you’re in a jam and have no where else to turn.

If you want to be mistaken for Ava Gardner, try Coco from Chanel. It’s the sort of fragrance that smacks you in the face with glamour and femininity. It commands attention. NSFW

If you want people to think you’ve been robbing graves, try Black March from CB I Hate Perfume. At first, Black March smells like fresh cut grass and flowers. But in the dry down, it turns into wet earth and decomposition. It literally smells like a freshly dug grave.

If you want people to feel like they can trust you with their children, try White Shoulders from Evyan. Tania Sanchez wrote of White Shoulders that it is “so unbendably maternal-feminine that if Harvey Keitel sprayed it on, he would spontaneously sprout a ruffled apron and ask you if you wanted another cupcake.”

Choosing perfume is a lot like playing dress up. There’s one for every occasion and every mood. What perfumes do you wear to send a message?