Shannen Doherty is opening up about her cancer journey in the new issue of Elle magazine.

The 49-year-old actress and filmmaker walked the magazine from her diagnosis to today, and revealed what the future holds for her.

“When I got cancer the first time, it was this really beautiful thing, because it finally stripped all of that away. Those walls were, like, eliminated. That sort of childhood resentment—19 to me is childhood—was gone,” Shannen shared while discussing how she had planned a dinner with her closest friends and her doctor to break the news to them of the cancer’s return.

She continued, “I was like, ‘Okay, do I have good karma? Do I have bad karma? Why would I have bad karma?’ I started taking stock of my life and the things I’d done, and the things I hadn’t done. How I was with people.”

After receiving the call that her cancer has metastasized, she says that “what I came out with was, I have good karma. It may not seem like it, but I’ve been a really good human being.”

Shannen adds that she’s not even close to done with the things she wants to do in her professional or personal life.

“I haven’t sat down to write letters. That’s something I need to do,” she said. “There are things I need to say to my mom. I want my husband to know what he’s meant to me.”

“But whenever it comes time for me to do it, it feels so final. It feels like you’re signing off, and I’m not signing off,” she added. “I feel like I’m a very, very healthy human being. It’s hard to wrap up your affairs when you feel like you’re going to live another 10 or 15 years.”

“It’s like anybody with Stage IV faces this sort of thing, where others want to put you out to pasture,” Shannen shared. “I’m not ready for pasture. I’ve got a lot of life in me.”

Just recently, one of Shannen‘s 90210 co-stars shared an update about her health. See what they said here…