So at this point in my life I have a large number of male friends who are single and would like to change that. A lot of them try dating sites with little to no success and are tired of sending out messages after messages to girls with no response. As someone who has used OK Cupid as a female for over 10 years and even had some lasting relationships due to it, I want to see where I can help if at all possible.

Lets start with the basics:

Profile

Fill this shit out, fill out as much of it as you can. Talk about your interests, your goals, what you’re passionate about. If you have nerdy or geeky interests don’t try to hide that shit. Are you really going to be happy with someone who gives you the side eye every time you read a comic book or watch Gravity Falls? Maybe don’t list every single thing you’re into or a fan of, but your top 3-10 things should be there somewhere. I like the strategy of listing comics and manga under books and Anime under movies/tv shows. Its there, you state that you like it, if the girl reading your profile likes it too you have something to talk about.

I once went on a date with a guy from OKC because he mentioned liking a obscure tv show I also loved. We met for lunch and there was no chemistry but we talked for hours about 80’s cartoons and Muppets and it was over all a really enjoyable time despite us not clicking romantically. Don’t be afraid of this scenario, it could be MUCH worse.

I would caution against being too wordy about your hobbies, too much can overwhelm people and that might scare them off. Like mention that you play Warhammer, if she wants to know more she’ll ask, don’t spend several paragraphs describing your army and battle strategy. I would keep any given section of your profile to 2 paragraphs of text or less.

Another thing that bugs me about a lot of male profiles is, be who you say you are. Do you claim to be funny? Make me laugh reading your profile. Are you a writer? That shit better be well written.

Questions and Quizzes

FILL THIS SHIT OUT! The thing that truly makes ok cupid a great dating site is that the compatibility matrix they use is honestly REALLY REALLY good. This matrix does not work if you don’t take the basic dating quiz and answer a few hundred questions. Yes that takes time, a lot of it, but if you honestly want to meet people with interests and values like yours you have to do it. The more you do the greater your chances are of showing in the 80’s-90’s in a girls compatibility search. For me I’ve found the sweet spot for dating is in the 83-93 range. My current boyfriend of over a year has a 86% match ratting with me. We didn’t meet via OK Cupid, but we both had active accounts when we met. The people I’ve met with a lower percentage have all had some serious deal breakers that I found out about pretty quickly. It’s not like every one you meet with a high rating is going to instantly click with your or even have a bit of romantic spark but it really does help weed out the people you would have a tough time dating due a difference in values and goals.

Photos

So ok cupid has this thing that’s not that well known but is SUPER AWESOME, its called my best face. You upload up to 10 photos of yourself and people rate them hot or not style, but it’s not just that, they have all that nifty data about the people rating you based on their OK cupid profiles, and they can tell you which one of your photos is most attractive to the type of person you want to date. Here’s a link, try it out! http://www.okcupid.com/mybestface You have to rate some people before you can get your report and it takes a day or two but that data is super valuable in the online dating world.

Photos where you look happy tend to do better, also really bland mirror shots in bathrooms are never good. Photos where you’re active and doing something you love are always a good idea.

Finding a Girl

Go to the browse matches, set it to online in the last day (if not many people show up set it to week). See the Green advanced tab? Set it to “looking for" and click "long term dating”. You can also set up distance from your location and age depending on your preference. Now sort by match %.

You will get your first page of results, now there are probably 1-2 girls on there who look super hot. Don’t message them. 1. They get hundreds of emails a day, yours probably wont stand out. 2. They’re most likely Call Girls using OKC to arrange dates, if they have underwear shots be sure of it. 3. They are guys looking to catfish someone.

Look for girls who you honestly think are cute or hot, but maybe not the hottest model looking girl on the page. Read their profile, like actually read it and make sure they sound like the kind of person you want to try and get to know. If all of it seems good try sending a message!

Initiating Conversation

First off I always ignored anyone who messages starting with something along the lines of “you’re so hot" or "I really like your photos" Of course you do, you wouldn’t be messaging me if you didn’t, give me something that shows that you want to get to know me, that you read my profile and you saw something there that made you think, "This chick is cool and I want to know what her personality is like" It doesn’t have to be super long. In fact a good opening message is 1-3 sentences that leaves on a question. That question should never be "How has your day been?”

One of the most memorable messages I ever got was from a guy who I’m honestly not sure if he read my profile or not, but he just sent me a message asking “If you could ride any type of Dinosaur into battle what type would it be and why?”

I replied to him and the conversation led to a date, that ultimately didn’t work out, but it got us talking. The question is genius because it implies that he actually cares about my opinion, and it was fun and out of the usual. I replied back with my choice and reasoning and asked him what his would be and we talked intermittently for 2 days before going out.

If you’re chatting up and girl and your sending paragraph messages back and forth you probably should ask her to meet up in person by message 15 or 2 days time. Anything after that and she’ll think you’re wasting her time. A surprising amount of guys get girls to chat with them and then vanish when it’s time to meet up. They may be using stolen photos, not who they say they are or just not in the area they claim to be from, but for whatever reason it happens, so if you stall to much before asking a girl to coffee or drinks she may start to think you’re just leading her on.

Anyways this is all I have time to type up tonight. I hope this helps some of you out!

If you use this let me know what your results are!