And that was a big realization for me: Many of the things that I associate with accommodations for kids that are different (like quiet rooms where you can take a break) are actually the things that most kids can benefit from.

Herskovitz told me that she thinks it’s great that places like Beaches are adopting an autism-friendly attitude. “Families often feel like they are very much alone, even when out in public,” she said. “The possibility of a meltdown or odd behavior, as it might be judged by others, is always present. To allow our children to be themselves, can only happen in an atmosphere of inclusion. And this atmosphere can only be achieved when everyone involved is educated and on board. Awareness doesn’t just mean others know about autism, it means they know what to do in order to help your child and family feel accepted, even when things don’t go as planned.”

A new kind of adventure — and some much needed adult time

Our first full day was filled with swimming, hitting the beach and trying out many of the different restaurants. By the next day my sister and I were ready to drop the kids off at Kids Camp. This was one of the services offered I was most curious about (and not just because it would mean a couple hours of off-duty time for me and my sis!).

Normally, if there is a group activity that kids are doing, I need to assist E in participating. I can’t just leave her to take care of herself, so that would preclude me bringing her to this type of club at most other places. But since Beaches offers a one-to-one “Beaches buddy” I actually had the option to let her go along with her brother and cousins, knowing that she would get the attention she needs to be safe and have fun.

Leaving your kid with a stranger (whether she has special needs or not) isn’t easy, but Kimone, our assigned buddy, made me feel comfortable right away. My sister and I took the opportunity to have some drinks and share a meal together where we could catch up without having to cut anyone’s food but our own. For all the stressed out special needs parents, I can’t emphasize enough how great it was to have even a small amount of time to do grown-up stuff, and because I knew E was getting the attention she needed, I didn’t have to feel worried about it. When we returned to pick the kids up, I heard they had played at the water park and made arts and crafts together.

Even though I knew that this wasn’t going to be anything like the vacation I got to take with just my husband earlier this year, no part of me ever expected to have a Sesame Street character come knocking at our door to do a “tuck-in”!

Koenig's daughter enjoying a bedtime story with Abby. Ronnie Koenig

You know it’s a kids’ vacation when a furry character holding a wand enters your bedroom (unless you’re into that kind of thing, hey, it takes all kinds!). As Abby’s assistant read a bedtime story to the twins and their cousins, I stood to the side observing the look of sheer awe on E’s face. At one point, she got up and started to engage Abby in a game of peek-a-boo — I couldn’t believe my eyes since my daughter is rarely the one to initiate social interaction. Even more surprising was the way that Abby responded, stopping what she was doing to engage with E and treating her interruption as a fun game that everyone could be a part of.

I later learned that both the person in the Abby costume and her assistant had autism training. The skills they employed interacting not just with my daughter, but with the other kids, absolutely made this the highlight of our trip.

An autism-friendly environment gave new meaning to 'all inclusive'

While I worried E’s autism would be catered to in a way that we don’t do at home being at an ACAC, just the opposite was true — the resort was a truly inclusive place — a vacation spot that has the needs of kids in mind whether they are special needs or not.

“I think parents in the autism community want more autism-friendly everything,” said Gena Mann, co-founder of Wolf + Friends, an app for moms raising kids with special needs. “Our children have just as much ‘right’ as anyone else to enjoy events, restaurants, amusement parks, vacation spots. That said, I think all parents need to be realistic when it comes to taking their children to places that are appropriate for where their child is in their development — not where they expect them to be.”