Yesterday Ubisoft live-streamed its announcement of a new bounty of pre-order bonus opportunities, offering collections containing exclusive figurines, hip flasks, art books and a game called Assassin’s Creed Syndicate. With so much variety on offer, we’ve compiled a list of all those packs to help you choose which one to buy a full six months before the first review!

Assassin’s Creed Syndicate – Gor Blimey Luv-A-Duck Collector’s Case

Price: £114.99

Contents:

– Exclusive bonus chimney sweeping mission

– Teach Yourself Cockernee Booklet

– Audio CD of American actors’ best Lin-don accents

– Exclusive pearly king hat (queen hats too difficult to manufacture)

Assassin’s Creed Syndicate – Eastenders Edition

Price: £159.99

Contents:

– High quality Art Of The Caff book

– Exclusive Alfie outfit

– Queen Vic Diorama

– Audio CD of bow bells

– An exclusive mission to shut it, you slag

– Official Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate OST performed by Anita Dobson

– Ennui

Assassin’s Creed Syndicate – Sitting Backwards On A Chair Deluxe

Price: £219.99

Contents:

– Exclusive reversible wooden chair (GAME online purchases only)

– Actual cane from this image (Amazon phone orders only)

– Double sided guide to jaunty sitting (Cancer Research Shops exclusive)

– Zack Off Of Saved By The Bell figurine (when purchased with Uplay refund voucher)

– In-game chair cushion (utorrent exclusive)

Assassin’s Creed Syndicate – Look Like A Massive Wanker

Price: £289.99

Contents:

– That fucking hat

Assassin’s Creed Syndicate – Other Stuff We Know About London Edition

Price: £369.99

Contents:

– Exclusive in-game red buses

– Cut-out-and-keep signed photograph of The Queen

– Exclusive in-game Beefeater outfit

– Two-sided map showing how all of England is near London

– Uh, we dunno, do they have dragons there?

– Some Harry Potter shit

– You’ll buy this crap whatever we write here