Member Of Marginalized Group Searches Phone Book For Local Business To Be Oppressed By

BOULDER CITY, AZ—It was another busy day for Hollie Garmon as a member of a vulnerable group who could theoretically be subject to discrimination by a local business.

“Being oppressed is much harder these days,” Hollie explained as she opened a phone book. “Let’s say you were an African American in the ’60s; you’d face discrimination daily just going about your normal business. It’s just not that easy anymore.”

Instead, Hollie is forced to go through the Yellow Pages, calling business after business, trying to find someone who will oppress her. “Everyone knows about that one baker in Colorado,” Hollie said, dialing her phone, “but he’s too busy with lawsuits, so I have to find another oppressor, and it is hard work.”

It’s very difficult for her to find someone who won’t do business with her at all, and instead Hollie has to come up with elaborate scenarios she’s asking the business to participate in before the owner becomes hesitant. When they finally agree on a hypothetical situation in which Hollie will be oppressed, her next call is to her lawyers.

“It’s an uphill battle to fight discrimination,” Hollie stated as she circled a few more ads in the phone book. “Especially when you can’t find it.”

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee