What do you do if you need to remove that poopy smell when it really counts?

Let's say you've got a really hot date with a supermodel gymnast best-selling author. You're picking her up at her parents' mansion in the hills, but you're just eaten enough Taco Bell to feed six grown men and you're wondering how long you can delay the inevitable. You arrive, and the tummy rumbling kicks in. There's a natural disaster on it's way, and there's no stopping the oncoming ordeal. How do you boldly defile one of her parents' many bathrooms without making the dog vomit in the next room?