



Boson mayoral candidate Ema Strickland joined the annual "Walk for Boson Pink Cancer Awareness" and spoke from the podium at the Boson Commons Band Stand Gazebo stage."I think the days of "do your own thing" and "rugged individualism" are over!" Councilor said to the cheering crowd of walk participants many of whom where wearing "Ema 4 Mayor Now!" t-shirts and wind breakers. Large "Ema Now!" signs dotted the crowd as Ema Strickland addressed the people many who work at Boson City Hall or for Strickland's private charitable feminist foundation."The amount of carbon dioxide that is emitted into the air from people breathing heavily because they don't know how to walk properly is a shock to all of us. As Greta Thunberg said so eloquently, "you have stolen my childhood! How dare you?"The crowd applauded heartily and signs bobbed up and down in the air. Nearby a vegetarian feast was on a grill as soy based burgers with non-dairy cheese sizzled under a sign that said - "You don't sell the steak - you sell the sizzle!""While walking might seem like a pretty easy thing for anyone who is past the age of a one-year-old that is actually counter intuitive, and actually mansplaning," Councilor Strickland shouted into the microphone. I have introduced a bill that would set up an Office of Walking and Pedestrian Affairs at Boson City Hall. A staff would advocate for pedestrian friendly city street scapes, and also support its activities by getting walking license fees from anyone who uses Boson City sidewalks or public streets by foot. A modest $50 a year gets the pedestrian a photo ID Walking License that also has a ten percent discount at all Duncan Donuts."The crowd cheered as if on cue. One woman shouted out, "Save the Planet Ema!" Everyone clapped.A young speaker from Boson Green Party took to the microphone to warn people that the care-free days of the past are over. "The Boomer lifestyle is history. Get off the stage. The days when people thought they could just walk around freely without paying a tax for the carbon dioxide they are huffing and puffing into the air are over. Hello! Boomer! Wake up!"The barbecue was interrupted by a counter-protest from Boson Breatharians who oppose the consumption of all food. Breatharians say that one can extract all the nutrients and molecules of goodness one needs to live from breathing deeply, especially during vigorous walks in the open air. "Vegetables are murder!" the Breatharians chanted as they marched through the crowd waving signs. "Soy is vegicide! How dare you consume living things!"The counter-protesters splashed soy sauce on one another and collapsed to the ground in front of the speakers platform on the commons.Ema Strickland stepped to the microphone and emphatically applauded the protesters below. "Thank you, thank you for coming! We welcome all voices! Stay and breath with us a while. Vote Strickland in November! Stop Mayor Welsh! Stop Donald Trump!"The crowd cheered Councilor Strickland and moved around the gazebo leaving the Breatharian contrarians on the ground with no one around them. Soon, they got up and left moving through the picnic tables and vendor booths.