This is my fifth summer working at the same preschool summer camp. Every year I help my kids do the things that they need help doing. Opening their lunches, settling arguments, and helping them go to the bathroom. Today, though, my work received a complaint. Another worker in the building saw me take one of my female children (we’ll call her Jane for privacy’s sake) from the playground to the bathroom. They watched as I stood at the door and then went in for a short while, later leaving with Jane to take her back to the playground. They complained that I, as a man, took one of my students, who asked me to take her, to the bathroom.

It doesn’t bother me that this person complained about me taking a kid to a bathroom that happened to be close to the offices of the building. What bothers me, is that they complained that it was a boy taking a girl to the bathroom. What this person didn’t see was that Jane had to take her swimsuit off to go to the bathroom, and as I was standing at the door, she asked me to come in and help her get it back on. Swimsuits, especially ones meant for girls, tend to stick to skin when they’re wet, so it’s understandably difficult for a kid to get it back on. The best part is that I never even touched Jane or her bathing suit while I went inside to help her. As the kids get older, I like to talk them through helping themselves rather than doing it myself so they can learn to be self sufficient, so I talked Jane through getting it back on, which she did very well.

I don’t know the gender of the person who complained, but I honestly don’t care. I’m sure if they would have seen one of the female teachers go into the bathroom with a male student to help them get dressed, they wouldn’t bat an eye. “They were doing their motherly duty” I’m sure they’d say. What about fatherly duty? I hope to have kids someday, and if I need to help my daughter in the bathroom, I sure hope nobody would complain about me helping my child. The children at the camp are under my care, and it is my job to help them. I was hired to help and facilitate a fun summer for the kids, and that includes taking them to the bathroom when they need to go, regardless of their gender.

I would like to say that my camp administration and none of my female coworkers at the camp have any problem with me taking our female campers to the restroom, nor has any mother ever complained about it. Someone in the building saw something they didn’t think was normal, and now I’m not allowed to do my job as fully as I once was. We talk about eliminating sexism in the workplace all the time, and yet here we are once more. I am a man who is working in a female dominated workplace and I’m okay with that, and they are too. Countless times I’m told by parents that their kids love having a boy in the classroom for a change, and I enjoyed having that when I was in summer camp too.

So, to my sexist coworker, I hope you’re happy. You’ve stopped a terrible tragedy from occurring any more during the summer, and now I’m only allowed to help the girls as they get changed in the classroom because my female co-teacher is present. You have done the whole world a service, and I’m sure they’re all very thankful for your inherent sexism.

UPDATE: Just about two weeks later here. Just as I explained earlier, my camp director was 100% behind me on the issue and fought for me in a few meetings with the head of the organization saying that no lawyer would back up a policy that is blatantly discriminatory. The rule has been repealed and I can go back to doing everything I normally do. I have also decided not to use the bathroom close to the offices to avoid more complaints. This post was never about a rule I didn’t like, it was about an ignorant person assuming something because I’m a man. I stand by the things I said originally, and I hope we can all spot and point out sexism in any workplace toward any gender.