The world of professional video game streaming is once again consumed by controversy today as popular Twitch streamer Dr UtmostRespect, aka Timothy Quinn, announced he was quitting his channel altogether.

Quinn’s retirement comes in the wake of a series of incidents where popular Twitch personalities deliver casually racist remarks live on stream – something Quinn finds himself unable to replicate.

“I gave it my best shot,” Quinn told Point & Clickbait. “I put myself out there, playing the right kind of games – you know, PUBG and shooters like that – that are more likely to produce a heated gaming moment.

“And it worked, at least to a certain extent. I’d find myself in situations where I knew I needed to curse – my audience demands it, really – but the perfect racial slur would elude me.

“It didn’t matter whether I was getting headshot by someone who was clearly cheating, or a stray grenade would frag me by complete fluke, the n-word was never on the tip of my tongue. My frustration would boil over and I’d yell ‘Damn! or sometimes ‘Oh bollocks!’ I couldn’t help it. I’d panic and the racism was nowhere to be found.”

In a written statement, Quinn acknowledged he’d let down his fans and expressed his hope that they would eventually understand why it was so difficult for him to be racist live on stream.

A devastated Quinn explained that while he’d been battling with the problem for some time, it only came to a head the previous night.

“Last night I’d been drinking before going on stream. I wanted to loosen up a bit, you know? I was hoping the racial epithets would flow more easily,” he says, shaking his head.

“I was playing Monster Hunter World and this other person joined my game and they just sucked, like it was their first time playing or something. They were playing as this dark-skinned woman character and the chat was going nuts, really laying into them and telling me to do all sorts of horrible things to her…”

Quinn’s voice trails off and he closes his eyes. We can tell his inability to be racist has taken a heavy toll.

“I just cracked,” he sighs. “I said over voice chat to this other player – and remember this is live on stream – I said… ‘Hey, are you new? Want me to show you the ropes?’

“I knew there and then my career was over.”