But please. Do enjoy your $60 Keep America Great hat tree ornament finished in 24-karat gold.

As for “Rudolph,” the whole movie feels as L.G.B.T.Q. friendly to me as any episode of “Queer Eye” or “Steven Universe” or “The L Word.” (In fact, the theme song from the Island of Misfit Toys, “The Most Wonderful Day of the Year,” once made it into the “Glee” Christmas special.)

There’s plenty of queer code in Christmastown. After Rudolph’s red nose shines in his father Donner’s cave, for instance, causing Donner a curiously profound mortification, the old man comes up with a fake nose for his boy to wear. You know: so as not to offend The Straights.

“It’s not very comfortable,” Rudolph says.

“You’ll wear it and like it!” his father replies. “There are more important things than comfort — self-respect!”

Maybe it goes without saying that this is exactly how I felt, putting on a coat and tie to go to my right-wing, all-boys high school, before coming out as trans years later. Is it worth adding that the character of the misfit male reindeer Rudolph in the special was voiced by Billie Mae Richards, a 40-something woman?

Prospector Yukon Cornelius’s sexuality doesn’t enter into the plot, of course. But in a scene that was deleted from the 1964 original, we learn that even though he claimed to be searching for silver or gold, in fact, Yukon C. was looking for a peppermint mine. No further questions, your honor.

And then, there’s Hermey the Elf. Beautiful and blond where all the other elves resemble bulbous-nosed Vulcans, all he wants is to be able to be himself (a dentist, in fact), instead of being forced to toil in Santa’s soul-crushing toy factory. “What’s eatin’ ya, boy?” his boss asks. “Oh, nothing,” Hermey explains, “I just don’t like to make toys.”

His boss roars with disapproval, and the other elves cluck and go tsk-tsk. “Not happy in my work, I guess,” he says. Oh, Hermey. Tell me about it.