Germany, upset over the first bar fight and freshly broke after trying to conjure money out of thin air, starts to rant to itself about why it’s been screwed over by the bar’s resident cat named Jew.

Germany starts claiming it is going to make Germany great again and starts secretly whispering with Russia behind Britain and France’s backs. Germany also downs a full bottle of steroids while no one is looking.

Japan, having been perving on China all night, starts molesting China on the other side of the room after claiming China was asking for it by the way it was dressed.

Britain and America send thoughts and prayers and a half full can of pepper spray to help China.

Italy, having gone a little bit loony during the interwar, decides to beat up Ethiopia and claims they are the new king of the bar over Ethiopia who is out cold on the floor.

Britain, France, and America all say what Italy did was totally uncouth and wrong but don’t really do anything about it.

Germany snatches its cigars back from France who had been keeping it claiming it was for the common good.

Germany then hugs Austria, claiming they are brothers in blood and love of the fatherland. Austria is still really hungover from last night and is mostly fine with this.

Germany then claims it needs Czechoslovakia’s seat for its new business venture.

Britain and France, still really sore from the last fight, decide Czechoslovakia should give up its seat because they don’t want to piss Germany off. Britain claims peace in the bar and buys itself a congratulatory drink.

Germany chloroforms Czechoslovakia and dumps its body behind Germany’s table next to Austria. Britain stutters that this wasn’t part of the deal to which Germany asks what Britain is going to do about it.

Poland, who had been getting creepy glares from both Germany and Russia, makes a deal with Britain who goes and stands next to Poland while spouting bumper sticker slogans about democracy.

France, having been suffering from a little brain damage from the last fight, gathers enough sense to flip over its table and says Germany should stop being a jerk from behind it.

Russia punches Japan and says it wants some of China’s stuff. Japan punches back and they both decide a real fistfight wasn’t worth it. Japan goes back to raping China.

Germany rolls up its sleeves and punches Poland square in the jaw while Russia dead legs Poland from the rear. They both knock Poland out and split its beer before anyone can react.

Britain rolls up its sleeves and runs to hide with France behind their table yelling slurs at Germany.

Germany takes a long hit of cocaine and flattens Belgium before sprinting around France’s table then drop kicks France straight in the face.

Britain panics and runs behind the bar.

Italy, not one to miss a good opportunity decides to congratulate Germany and says that they are both king of the bar. Hungary and Romania both also join in and celebrate by knocking Yugoslavia out and going through its pockets. Italy tries to do the same thing to Greece but trips over itself.

Germany handcuffs France to the bar and claims that France is its newest friend.

Britain starts throwing whatever it can find at Germany and Italy while America passes it ammunition.

Italy tries to get to the bar’s storeroom but Britain and Egypt block the door. They beat the shit out of Italy until Italy gives up and runs to Germany for help.

Germany gets bored trying to beat Britain at throwing bits of the bar at each other and decides to throw a haymaker right in Russia’s jaw while it was looking the other way while kicking Greece in the balls for a change in pace.

Japan gives up on trying to knock China out and starts looking at Britain and America’s stuff they left next to Japan’s table.

America flips the bird across the room and calls Japan a coward. Japan lobs a beer bottle and hits America in the face then moves to grab America and Britain’s stuff.

Philippines and Australia with its little brother New Zealand start throwing hands at Japan to defend Britain and America’s stuff.

Japan knocks Philippines out but can’t quite get to Australia over Malaysia’s unconscious body.

Britain yells encouragement to its colonial buddies while punching Italy on the other side of the room. Germany and Italy both call America a punk ass bitch and congratulate Japan on the bottle throw.

America rips off its shirt yelling that it was cowabunga time and punches Italy several times with brass knuckles America had hidden in its pocket.

Italy staggers, and Germany punches America, knocking Italy out from behind in the process.

Russia gets into a head butting contest with Germany, eventually winning but not before splattering blood all over the room and fracturing its skull.

Britain leaps from behind the bar and frees France and starts kicking Germany in the back. Germany punches all three of them at once.

Russia beats Germany into the floor and begins curb stomping it.

Japan decides the bar fight isn’t going too well and hides behind its table.

Russia starts stomping towards Japan while wiping blood off its face.

America grabs a steel baseball bat from behind the bar and decks Japan with two swings to the back of the head.

America and Russia square up and stare at each other for the rest of the night after pocketing all of Germany’s stuff.