Church Tech Guy Completes Historic Perfect Service

FRIENDSWOOD, TX—According to reports coming out of Grace Fellowship, church intern Greg Barona completed the eighth perfect tech performance in Evangelical history Sunday at the church’s 10:30 a.m. service.

Barona looked totally in control from the very first song all the way until the benediction, according to multiple sources. The congregation reportedly held their breath as the pastor gave the verbal cues for media like illustrative pictures, movie clips, and seemingly endless sermon points, but Barona held it together, retiring all slides with no delays, errors, or false starts. The second the 28-year-old Barona fired off the final slide, the audience erupted in emotional, wild cheering, knowing they had witnessed history. After the teaching pastor dumped a vat of old coffee over his head, the congregants swept him up on their shoulders and carried him outside, where the unrestrained celebration continued.

“It looked dicey there for a minute when the worship leader called an audible and went right into the chorus of ‘Our God,’ but Greg pulled through. A real clutch player,” head tech Paul Stark told reporters during the post-service bash, shouting over the cheers from the congregation. “Guys like Greg make it look easy.”

“It’s not about me,” said Barona, dripping with casserole after taking a celebratory dish to the face. “I couldn’t have done this without my team. Did you see how Robby perfectly faded in the outro music while I cued the rotating announcement slides just as the final ‘amen’ was uttered? And don’t forget the little guys that never get glory, like the teaching pastor and the worship leader. They’re just as much a part of the show as I am.”

Barona went on to thank his “Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” while gesturing toward the heavens with both hands.

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