The truth is, deep down, this entire project scares the shit out of me. The thought of being in any kind of spotlight and the potential for everyone to see my failures is terrifying, and it always has been. Because of this deep seated fear, I often have the desire - subconsciously - to look for any excuse to stop. My car getting stolen fed into this perfectly. So, I pulled out my phone, pulled up Dijon's text thread, and typed a reasonable cancellation so I could just deal with the police and my car (or lack thereof).

However, over time as I've worked through my pain, I've learned to slow down and sit with these fears before following through on them. I paused. I relaxed. I felt a little deeper, into my heart...

"don't cancel, just wait and see what happens".

So we waited... and waited. In my mind, I'm thinking there's no way the police will get here within a few hours, because bureaucracy, right? After 30 minutes, I start to get antsy and think about canceling again. I pull out my phone, and as I'm about to open the Messages app, I get a call.

"Hi, this is Jeremy."

"Hello, this is officer so and so, I'm outside."

At this point my confidence begins to build. I go outside to meet a pleasant older officer. I answered some questions, we talked and laughed, and she was on her way. There was nothing more I could do, so instead of letting anxiety get the best of me like my younger self might have, I breathe, relax, and focus on bringing positive energy to the video shoot.

Luckily, getting to San Francisco wasn't a problem. My partner had a to-do list to tackle that day, but since she's awesome, she let me take her car anyway. I leave, expecting the typical awful Bay Bridge traffic since it was a weekday morning, but somehow I got to San Francisco with almost no slow down.

My car was gone and I had no idea whether I'd see it or my stuff inside again, but I made it. I was relaxed, excited, and ready to shoot. It took some patience, but things were finally flowing again.