Pleases refer to me by my new title: Magnificent Son Of A Bitch Columnist.

In Victoria, B.C. some residents are upset about a tent city that has popped up. The irate residents call themselves Mad As Hell and the name refers to Network, a film where a news anchor’s mental decline is used for ratings by his network. The Star’s Heather Mallick published a fever dream/column in which “my brain makes grinding ‘hern hern’ noises” doesn’t even make the top ten of bonkers sentences. Davide Mastracci patiently explains the problem which is generous of him because laughing until you fall over is easier. Mastracci also joined BuzzFeed’s answer to Jesse Brown and Short Cuts guest host, Scaachi Koul, to ask “what in the fresh hell?”

We have serious talent on board. Overachievers. I woke & saw our products walking in a forest zapping purple peppers online. #NotApproved — Eve Adams (@EveJAdams) April 7, 2016

In Fresh Hell news, Walrus editor Jon Kay thinks political correctness is keeping the poor out of their 9-bedroom dream mansions. To their credit, the Walrus had a number of people write counterpoints. How they’re all responding to Kay’s thesis: “I do not know what I am talking about,” is beyond me. The question of foreign money in the mortgage market is an important one but Kay’s piece is a garbage fire of bad opinions. Thus, I have prepared a lengthy rebuttal.

@Scaachi don’t bother deleting this i’ve made a record pic.twitter.com/s4ntCBfAvK — Seb FoxAllen (@purpledocket) April 6, 2016

Money has been on everyone’s mind. Postmedia has some money gaps to mind. The wealthy have had their mind on not giving money to the government. The government says, never you mind your pretty heads about how we spend money. But do be a darling and fetch us a defence policy. If you need extra cash, use the money from the “Responsible Conviction” ethics fire sale.

In the post-election hubbub, we all forgot Tom Mulcair was still leader of a party he led to electoral defeat. The NDP are meeting in Edmonton to discuss which foot Mulcair should lead off with when he exits. The Conservatives too are still looking for the One. Will it be the first one out of the limo, Kellie Leitch? Or will they give a rose to Maxime Bernier who speaks fluent french and can capture a riding with 67% of the vote? Or will it be the star of the last nine seasons, a policy lothario named Stephen J. Harper? The J is Spanish and you pronounce it like a long deep sigh of despair.

***

Not Sorry is written by Vicky Mochama who is running for the Conservative Leadership because my birthday is in May and I want something big next year. Get in the donating spirit by first supporting CANADALAND. Subscribe. @ Us.