Two years ago, I graduated from one of the most famous universities in the world, MIT. My whole body was truly happy from deep within when I grabbed my diploma and walked off the stage. Not because I was getting a diploma from one of the most prestigious universities in the whole world. But, I was happy to be liberated so that I could work on recovering form the extreme depression, anxiety, and numbness that I was dealing with at MIT.

It would not be an overstatement to say that my four years at MIT was traumatizing on my mind, body, and spirit. Not only was I left in debt from student loans to pay; I was also left with lots of mental health issues to repair. And what more? I hadn’t learned nearly as much as I could have if I had been happy and healthy at MIT.

I couldn’t believe it! After I graduated, all I could remember from MIT was seeing my friends and peers rushing anxiously to class or to the next place they had to go to. We would pass each other in hallways, sometimes not even noticing one another. Then the next day, I would hear that one of my friends had gone mad in their room, screaming and losing their mind. Or my next-door neighbor, who hadn’t slept for 3 days straight, would talk to me about feeling like a failure. And this was someone who had won awards in the Math Olympiad.

My peers and classmates were all really smart students who had been admitted to MIT. But, I would hear crying often from the other side of the wall in my dormitory room. I would hear those around me being overwhelmed and stressed. I would see friends who were constantly taking pills to stay sane. And at times, I would wake up to hear in the news that a student in the neighboring dorm had committed suicide, and no one had found out about it for more than a week; until their body had started to smell.

Going to university was scary for me.

I, myself, reached a point where I didn’t care to be alive anymore.

It is one thing to be challenged and it is another to be defying our human needs constantly. I came to MIT to be challenged, because being challenged can help us grow as individuals. But, at MIT, I was often pressured to defy my human needs for long periods of time, which can cause students to break down as individuals; and I personally did witness this break down in my friends and myself.

This is how it was at MIT for most students I knew. Those students who cared for their health and needs were often seen to be “weak” by their peers, while those who endured unhealthy lifestyles and habits for long periods of time were glorified as being “hardcore.”

And so, I’m going to be honest.

This is how I lived my life at MIT:

o I didn’t get enough sleep and struggled to maintain a regular sleep schedule.

o I would often skip my meals since I didn’t have enough time to eat.

o I would always be rushing past my friends in the hallways, feeling terrible for not having time to chat with them for more than a few seconds.

o I rarely had time to exercise, relax, and have fun with friends.

o Most of my time was spent doing schoolwork, and I was still always behind in my classes.

o I didn’t even end up getting high grades even though I spent so much time doing work.

o I kept feeling like I didn’t care to be alive anymore.

o I had turned so numb and lifeless that my friends, family, and boyfriend were constantly worried for me and hurt by my lack of responsiveness.

o I couldn’t stop thinking, “Why do I have to do this to myself?”

**And I knew so many others at MIT who were just like me**

Do you want to know how I am certainly sure that I was really not alone?

I have recorded more than 45 other MIT students and alumni who were brave to come on camera and talk about their own hardships at MIT and how they wish to see student life improve.

We think that student voices and videos will humanize mental health issues and help students see that there are many others who share their stories.

We all know too well that sleep and a balanced life are necessary ingredients to our health. And students need to stay healthy to perform at their best and get a good education.

I am now collaborating with other MIT students and alumni to make a feature-length documentary from the recorded student stories to raise awareness and start a conversation about student mental health issues at MIT and other universities. We are now in the process of fundraising to pay for the expenses of making this documentary titled “Sleep is for the Strong.” Sleeping should not be regarded as for the “weak.” Getting enough sleep is very important for health and wellbeing (see here). Sleep-deprivation can contribute greatly to depression, anxiety, and other health problems in college students. So, we want to bring attention to the importance of sleeping as we talk about mental health!

You can join our effort and help us finish this documentary by contributing to our Indiegogo Crowdfunding Campaign. You can also share our campaign with friends to help us spread the word. The fundraising campaign ends on December 23rd.

Join us in this movement to stand up for student mental health! Let’s reduce mental health suffering and prevent student suicides!