I’m gonna address the 800,000 pound elephant in the room that was last night’s Facebook Live: it stunk. It was horribly horrible. Maybe the most boring thing we’ve ever done at Barstool, and that’s saying something.

1. I’m probably not the most exciting guy to watch, watch a football game. Hey, I can admit it. I know my strengths, few as they are, and I know my weaknesses and people watching me watch sports have long said that they’d rather actually be watching the game. I’m rather reserved. If I’m not in the stands or in a bar atmosphere then I’m not going to scream for every first down and I’m not the guy who’s gonna say things like, “COME ON BOYS! NEED A STOP!” on third down, because I don’t point out that the sky is blue to everyone I walk past.

2. It wasn’t exactly a riveting game. I know it’s a bad carpenter who blames his tools but when you’re watching a surgical and methodical dismantling of a “worthy” adversary then there’s really not much to do. The game was a snooze, like almost every other game that’s been played in these NFL Playoffs. There really wasn’t much suspense because after the first drive everyone already knew what was coming.

3. Actually, no third. It was just those two things. That’s it.

But when you see this reaction from the coach, isn’t it quite understandable? A people follow their leader and ours didn’t give a FUCK about winning that game. His body practically rejected the Lamar Hunt like it was an illness. Try handing your grandfather a participation trophy and he’ll be far more gracious than Bill Belichick was with the AFC Championship trophy. Honestly, Bill discarded that thing like it was a poopy diaper. You can see his brain spinning, thinking “Oh what the fuck, Nantz? Now I have to be responsible for this piece of metal? I have to carry it around and do what with it? Put it where? Can’t you just hold on to it?” I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Bill took that thing up to his office and threw it in a closet like you did your dirty clothes when mom told you to clean your room. It’s garbage, as far as he’s concerned. And if that’s what Bill thinks of it then that’s what I think of it.

Because you know what? The New England Patriots winning the Lamar Hunt isn’t what Bill Belchick’s wanted since training camp, it’s not what the players have sacrificed blood and sweat (no crying in football) for, and handing the Lamar Hunt to Tom Brady isn’t what keeps Roger Goodell up at night. It’s the Lombardi. That’s all that matters and it’s all that’s ever mattered.

So I apologize for the Facebook Live but Bill and the Patriots should too. You want to watch an exciting simulcast? Bring me a real opponent. In two weeks, we finally get just that: Roger Goodell, you’re finally next.