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This season’s must have accessory at elite weddings? A shared belief that the achievement gap is the civil right$ i$$ue of our time. EduShyster even has a little game that she likes to play involving the Vows section of the Sunday New York Times and a large pitcher of mimosas. The game goes something like this:

Take one small sip if the bride is under the age of 30 (the age at which teachers are at their freshest and most innovative, before they have succumbed to LIFO liferism);

Take another sip if the bride teaches at a charter school. A larger sip is in order if she has already left the charter school. Chug your mimosa (there is really no more delicate way to put it) if, despite being under 30 years of age (the age at which teachers are at their freshest and most innovative), she is already the principal of her charter school;

Sip again–and fittingly so–if she graduated from Harvard, Princeton or Yale. Take another small sip if she graduated from said Ivy with honors. Skip the sip if she graduated from UPenn, as it isn’t REALLY an Ivy.

Refill the mimosa at this point and sip if the young master she is marrying is employed in the financial services field–after all, one of them must earn a decent living…



Toast to their good fortune and sip again if the young master’s employer is a large bank, hedge fund, or if his employer includes many capitalized names all strung together.

Gentle reader, today’s Vows section did not disappoint. One of the featured nuptials involved a young couple who met at Yale and then saw their love blossom while Teaching for America in the city that is the greatest laboratory for education innovation today–New Orleans.The bride has since decided to dedicate her life to teaching in an urban public school to abandon the teaching profession after two years and attend law school at UPenn (which really is an Ivy). The groom (who graduated with honors from Yale–sip) founded a nonprofit to advocate for charter schools in Philadelphia, because, as we know, charter schools in the City of Brotherly Love have been all but forgotten in the rush to dismantle the public schools and hand them over to charter school operators.

But no New York Times celebration of love would be complete without a distinguished pedigree. The young master happens to be the son of the one-time presidential candidate Howard Dean. Reader: I will allow you to toast to the happy couple yourself. Just don’t forget the mimosas.

Mimosas (serves one…) Sparkling Wine, Cava, Prosecco or Champagne (1 bottle)





Orange Juice (1 carton)



Triple Sec (optional) Fill half of a champagne flute with chilled sparkling wine or Champagne (about an ounce) and top off with chilled orange juice (again about 2 ounces), gently stir. If you’d like to add triple sec, just a splash to taste works out fine. For added flare, slice up a strawberry to decorate the rim of each flute. Enjoy!