With all the talk in the media recently about Scott Morrison's fascination with Captain Cook, Noely Neate begins to understand our PM's thought process.

REMEMBER WHEN DEE MADIGAN famously outraged the conservative “dudebros” on Sky After Dark with her straight-faced summation of Scott Morrison?

“He's not very bright.”

Oh, we laughed. We thought it was hilarious, particularly with Paul Murray and his response of, “I don’t think you can say that a Prime Minister is not very bright.”

But the recent Captain Cook fetish announcements have had me thinking.

We always seem to assume that people in high positions – be it politics, business, or in our community – are intelligent. We think they have some sort of smarts the rest of us don’t. Particularly in politics, if an announcement is made that we think is rather ridiculous – such as The Great Barrier Reef Foundation handout of $444M – being the cynical people we are now in relation to politicians, we automatically assume it is dodgy, some donor is being rewarded, there is a conspiracy to funnel public funds to private enterprise and so on. Whatever spin we hear in media, we always assume there is an ulterior motive that we just don’t know about yet. In most cases, we are probably right, but in the case of interim PM Morrison and his schoolboy love of Cook, what if we are wrong?

What if Scooter is not trying to prosecute a culture war? What if he isn’t trying to divert us from dodgy shenanigans going on behind the scenes? What if this isn’t a subtle racist dog whistle? What if Scooter is honestly oblivious to how offensive this whole idea is to Aboriginals?

What if Scott Morrison is really just not very bright?

I’m thinking the “reconciliation” comment in the below might be an indicator?

HUH?! How does flogging the Endeavour & Cook shite around the nation help "reconciliation"?



Am I missing something here? Or is interim PM Morrison a deadset moron? https://t.co/lBEe0FgLRI — Noely ⚡️⚡️ (@YaThinkN) January 22, 2019

Obviously, the dude loves Cook. We saw that with his statue idea a while ago and, for all we know, he just does have a boyhood love for Cook — though one would assume if that was the case, he would actually know basic history, like Cook not circumnavigating Australia, or, as he thinks he is such a marketing genius, thinking a focus on Cook will give him a way to do some bogan slogan marketing, playing on Cook achievements in his electorate of Cook for his own political campaigning. This could even be the beginning of Morrison’s campaign to actually align himself as a modern-day Cook for PR purposes. Who would know? Stranger things have happened and the way things are going at the moment, in this very long electoral campaign, I would not be laying any bets that this is the strangest idea out there.

But what if Scott Morrison is just not very bright?

Think about it. If you have worked in any sort of large organisation or corporate monolith, you will have come across that high-level executive who, once you scratch under the surface, you realise just doesn’t deserve the massively well-remunerated position of authority they occupy.

These men – well, they've always been men in my experience – are not stupid. They are of medium intelligence, let’s call them mediocre, savvy enough to ensure they have that loyal P.A. who keeps them on track, covers their butts and gives them a heads-up on headwinds. These men also have an eye for hard-working subordinates who are great at their jobs, though not ambitious enough to threaten the boss's position and upward trajectory, but are the ones who do all the work. These mediocre men also usually have the rat cunning to associate themselves with execs of a much higher calibre who help them get up that corporate ladder.

Scott Morrison's Australia Day farce ~ Peter Henning https://t.co/ErsaoRSsJD — IndependentAustralia (@independentaus) January 23, 2019

These mediocre men can often get to great heights in corporations, usually due to sheer luck of never having been caught out climbing on other's coattails. This rise normally starts by going to the right school, making the right friends and being gifted cushy positions that are perfect springboards to higher aspirations in life. Sound familiar?

They also benefit from the obvious assumption of those around them that a deadset moron could never rise to the heights the dope in question occupies.

So, I suggest again, what if Scott Morrison is just not very bright?

What if Morrison is being found out now due to getting to the top of his chosen food chain and, like most mediocre men, thinks he is king of the mountain and doesn’t need to listen to anyone anymore? Can say and do what he likes. Believes his own “merit” in achieving the position of PM.

Note in the video above, there is a bloke in the background nodding. This is Peter Scott, Mayor of Cook Shire. Now, note this video in the tweet below with Peter Scott’s views on the Apology and Reconciliation (thanks to @MinhKular for the heads-up on this one).

A few people have asked about the man behind Warren Entsch. He's mayor of Cook Shire, Peter Scott (yes more Star Trek references). From 2009, dismissive of Kevin Rudd's, 2008 Apology to Australia's Indigenous peoples. Thinks Cook started reconciliation. https://t.co/4Swxd7YH7E — David Marler (@Qldaah) January 22, 2019

I don’t know about you, but if we assume Scooter is the “mediocre man with aspirations” type, what if he got his Cook links to “reconciliation” bullshit idea from old mate Mayor Scott, borrowed as his own, as these types do and ran with it?

I’m starting to think this is where interim PM Scott Morrison’s policy announcements are coming from, a brain-fart from the last person he spoke to, with no decent advisors around him to tap him on the shoulder and say, “Scooter, maaaaaate, let’s just work through the pros and cons of this first, hey?”

Let’s look at this hypothetical: For all we know, the Captain Cook pick of parachuting Warren Mundine, an ex-ALP honcho, Sky After Dark darling, non-Liberal member into Gilmore, is because he happened to have breakfast with Gerard Henderson, whinged about problems in Gilmore, old mate said his son-in-law loved to holiday down there and this was quickly followed up with a quiet coldie with old mate Paul Murray, who mentioned Mundine whilst they both moaned about stupid Australians not understanding the importance of Australia Day. Next thing you know, Scooter has the bright idea of fixing Australia Day, because, you know, backing an Aboriginal bloke means he is not racist and Gilmore, because obviously we can’t whine about a woman not getting pre-selected if an Aboriginal bloke is instead. Winning! Killing two birds with one stone.

Honestly, there are many other decisions that interim PM Morrison has announced since he screwed over Dutton and Bishop to scam the top job. Many journalists have twisted themselves inside out “Scootersplaining” the strategy behind these announcements. But…

What if Scott Morrison is just not very bright?

Look, I hope I’m wrong, I hope interim PM Morrison is not just a mediocre white man who has risen above his station. But all I can say is, if he is not that intelligent and latches on to the last so-called bright idea he hears and thinks he is so important now that he doesn’t need to listen to experts, maybe the fact he has pretty much cancelled Parliament and not bothered to go into work is less damaging for the nation as a whole and a good thing for us.

It’s going to be a long long few months until voting day.

Captain Cook call? Scott Morrison praises new Liberal Party member Warren Mundine as a man of “no excuses when it comes to getting things done”, defending his captain’s call for Gilmore. #auspol https://t.co/JBiOEcbZZW — David Marler (@Qldaah) January 23, 2019