"We will no longer be forgettable," explains Hitchens. "People will no longer be shocked to learn there is an MLR team in Fake Detroit. "



It's one of many initiatives that Hitchens plans to take in developing the Tigers organization. He has held much love for former GM Zum Boehner, inducting him into the team's hall of fame as its inaugural member. But he isn't shy about evolving the team to heights it has yet to reach.

"The players have really welcomed me as the new GM. I can't say what it was that set me apart, but I am here to help bring more fun and a winning culture to the team," says the new GM. "My aim is to establish a positive and thriving culture in the clubhouse. I intend to meme the hell out of the MLR and get us noticed."

Much of Hitchens' chalkboard is filled with prototype memes, crude drawings of stick figures with small 'D' hats. Activity is important to him, and may lead to Detroit being the next big presence in fake baseball discussion boards.

Another important aspect to Hitchens is his clubhouse, and how it is now. On the chalkboard, he writes 'TRADES' in capital letters, and marks a line through it.

"I've been approached about trades and asked about when we will start winning. Believe me when I say that we already have the pieces in-house to compete. We need to improve in certain areas, sure, but I know it's just a matter of time."



His biggest tenant is to not trade "for the sake of [trading]."

When inquired further about players, Hitchens wastes no time gushing about his new responsibilities.

"I am excited to inherit this group of players," he says. "I think any GM would be thrilled about getting Morris Deratt, Valentino Rollin, and Dick Woolridge; you can build a team around anyone one of these guys. John Johnson Jr. is our team captain and I'm inclined to agree with the 501D article: he's about to break out in a big way. C.H. Lee, Tyler Phoenix, and Mason Spurs have been solid contributors; you may not know their names yet, but you will."

