Hey y’all thanks for comin back to see me again, I’ve been waiting a whole week for ya. As always I’ve brought the weekly helping of internet rage and I see you’ve brought your popcorn.

This is week six of our beloved college football season which means either we’re halfway done with this season or I’m not as good at math as I thought. Either way it feels like it’s going by faster than a man with SEC speed streaking down the sideline.

As we plunge in to the meatier part of the schedule, never forget to cherish these fleeting moments of someone else’s extreme pain because they will be gone before you know it.

Anyway let’s get to the football sads! Tennessee finally lost its devil magic and was downed at the hands of those Aggies in Texas in a dramatic and painful double OT loss. Texas lost the Red River Rivalry Shootout Showdown Football Game and Charlie Strong might not make it to November.

Arkansas hosted the Tide at home and extended their losing streak to a decade at the hands of Bama. And lastly we focus on a game that wasn’t played, might not be played, but still made LSU fans madder than a Cajun tasting food from the Midwest.

As always what follows is filled to the bring with pottymouthery so if you ain’t about that life I suggest you turn back now. Please enjoy the show.

ROCKY PLOP

Myles Garrett obsessed with dinosaurs Josh Dobbs obsessed with space We got 8 year old nerds leading two top 10 teams "It's not chess. It's checkers." Well I was way off. I thought it was football. "Hahaha! Concussions are funny!" - Gary If we're doing 75 minute quarters, I'm going to need more beer Is this a football game or a 6 hour car commercial? Guys I'm naked, with only my lucky Tennessee hat on, and my balls are trimmed. I've pulled out all the stops. My father in law's name is Gary. He is a Notre Dame fan. He talked shit from 3pm til half an hour ago. How you gonna lose to Duke two weeks ago and talk shit about my team. I'm gonna go fuck your daughter, Gary. ‘member when football games didn’t last 5 hours? al·co·hol·ism (/ˈalkəhôˌlizəm/) noun an addiction to the consumption of alcoholic liquor as a result of supporting the University of Tennessee football team "Vols fans have a long history of depression and alcoholism" Also see Alcovolism. I feel like I just got waterboarded for information critical to the United States. I drove 15 hours from knoxville with two of my buddies to go to this game and this is the shit i get for it? Fuck me for having faith in this team enough to waste a weekend going to a shit town for a shit game with two shit teams to have them shit all over me. "I wish Allie would use my face as a barstool." What was that Gary? "Shit we're live? Uh. Turnovers. Flags, bad." If we win this game, I will finish all the alcohol in this house. If we lose, same. That was literally like the fan thing from the Buffalo Wild Wings commercial. Every fucking week I can’t handle this shit. Today's playbook: Make a bunch of great plays Gain a bunch of yards Load gun Shoot foot STEP RIGHT UP AND SPIN THE TURNOVER WHEEL!!! WHAT WILL IT BE THIS TIME? TIPPED PASS INT?!? JUST DROPPING THE BALL?!? HAVING YOUR FACE EXPLODED AND FUMBLING?!? IT'S ANYONE'S GUESS!!! If you have problems starting up that old car, no worries, call Tennessee they can help getting it to turn over If I fumbled 6 times in NCAA 14 I'd owe my roommate a new TV and would likely be facing an assault charge Butch: "Say pixie dust one more time, bitch" If CBS had filmed the Kennedy assassination they would have kept a camera on Jackie O's face the entire ride to the hospital. Classless fucks. This game game is two vaguely athletic men beating each other with pool noodles until someone giggles TENNESSE AINT BOUTA GO OUT LIKE NO BITCH God-2016 Tennessee is doing their best Virginia Tech impression right now. I see tennesse has this game set to Heisman difficulty New theory: Butch is a cat. Cats have 9 lives. Butch has sold 5 of his lives to the devil. Reveille is a bad dog

TEXAS BAD

Hope a sinkhole opens up and swallows their mouth-breathing, sibling-$#@!ing, uneducated $#@!s I love Jesus but I hate those $#@!s so much. My liver has healed just in time to kick its ass again. Baker Mayfield would look cooler if someone punched him in the $#@!in mouth When's the Mixon video getting released? My buddy was watching from a bar in China. An OU and UT fan got into a fight in the bar. Missing: Defense. If found, please return to your nearest Big 12 team. Just fuck my shit up fam Hi I'm first and second down Texas defense and I have DirecTV. And I'm third down Texas defense, and I have cable! Kirk Herbstreit can get fucked Nothing screams "our rivalry is irrelevant now" than being played on FS1. I don't feel anything anymore. That dropped ball kind of metaphorically sums up Texas as a whole. Have the athleticism to beat a guy and have a wide open play that should be and would be an easy touchdown for any other team but then we overthrow it, lose the ball in the sun and the receiver kind of falls down while trying to catch it and so we go from an easy 7 to having to punt it away. We don’t deserve Gus Johnson calling our game. This is the Red River Shootout and anyone who disagrees can go to oklahoma fuck PC america Are we gonna still be able to afford Herman after paying these refs? Texsa Longsperms Conspiracy thought: Texas didn't pay the refs, LSU did. They are trying to save Charlie's job so they can get Herman. She just turned two months and already thinks OU sucks! A least I’m a good father DID U KNOW?: The Cotton Bowl is not actually made out of cotton. Mood rn There is no such thing as an upset in the big 12 Fox. Just disappointment. 'Member when this game shaped the CFB landscape? I 'member. I've run out of self-deprecating comments TEXAS BACK! TO BACK! TO BACK LOSSES!!!! Hank Hill didn’t die for this shit Of course we lose on a shit attempt at a hook and ladder where everyone who gets the goddam ball stands there with there dick in there hands and looks for another fucktard to catch it and not do shit. Fuck Charlie “I can’t coach a goddam defense” Strong. Fuck Shane “I didn’t have the good sense to not get ejaculated after my daddy’s vasectime” Buechele. And Fuck the goodam state of Oklahoma for being a piece of shit no matter how many shitty football games they win.

BOO PIG SOOIE

Here is video of the UA associate Professor getting arrested last night after his berating of Arkansas head coach Bret Bielema. pic.twitter.com/13nga9XzSg — Razorback Nation (@RazNation) October 9, 2016

I don't even know who to blame. Pittman's half assed recruiting? Anderson's poor coaching? Bielema for hiring them? "Inexcusible missed tackles" should be the Arkansas motto. My theory: some jackasses tailgated too hard and said "Hey, you know what would be epic? If we knocked out the refs, took their uniforms, and posed as the refs for the game tonight! How many quarters do you think we could do it until they notice?" Austin Allen is a fucking warrior. Nobody should have to endure this. Nick Saban seems like one of the few times in my life I'll witness sports history being made and be aware of it as it's happening. Truly tired of this bullshit. Every fucking year we lose to Alabama MEMBER WHEN ARKANSAS WAS KNOWN FOR SUFFOCATING DEFENSE? MEMBER WHEN ARKANSAS WAS KNOWN FOR COMPETENT OFFENSIVE LINE PLAY Someone needs to give Austin Allen a fucking vacation at a spa or something. After these last two weeks he certainly deserves it. Shirts for the next game: Austin Allen's Life Matters Even more relevant after tonight. If our offensive line (besides Ragnow, love ya man) didn't play like absolute rotten donkey shit, we may have had a chance. It's always next year when you're playing Nick Saban. Thank god Bert is a fucking man and willing to take a flag to jump down this shit show of refs throats Woo Pig Pooie is more accurate today What the fuck was that. I don't want to see that shit especially from my own team. I only ask one thing. Don't actually cripple our QB. He's pretty good. Me at this game every goddamn year Well, we should probably be dropped from the top 25. We have a horrible offensive line and a defense than only shows up 25% of the time. If it weren't for Allen, our receivers, Sprinkle and RWIII we wouldn't even be in the conversation. TCU win doesn't look so impressive anymore. I'm glad I have alcohol. Life in the SEC West is suffering. "Derpy doo gonna watch you catch the ball in the endzone and pick my nose" -#29 Really he couldn't have even tried to knock it down or anything? Anything? I feel great knowing that our OLine can block Bama's third string. So is it possible for us to hire Les Miles as our DC next season? Everything HURTS Don't worry, we can win next year! Or the next year. Or the next year.. Wanted: Defensive talent Wanted: Defensive coach Wanted: Offensive Line talent Wanted: Offensive Line coach Wanted: Signature win vs Bama and A&M Wanted: Signature win Wanted: whisky

HURRICANE AIN’T PLAYED NOBODY PAWL

I feel like I should establish a separate LSU-Florida scheduling Twitter account so people can just argue in the mentions. — Andy Staples (@Andy_Staples) October 10, 2016