Image by Sarah Reid. http://www.flickr.com/photos/sarahreido/

The Inescapability of Television

You probably can’t even read this without thinking of your favorite shows.

***Spoiler: This isn’t a serious piece, though many have missed the subtlty. Here’s a clue to go by: count how many you see!

Friends, listen up. I want to talk to you about the perils of television and the evils of advertisers.

Make no bones about it, TV advertisers have perfected the art of propaganda. Commercials. Product placement. And they think they’re justified in doing it for the sake of the economy? As if us going out to buy dish soap and huggies means we’re somehow “making a contribution to the homeland.” Newsflash! This isn’t wartime.

Breaking bad habits is hard. But you don’t have to be Sherlock to know that what gleeful advertisers have done to television audiences is damn near criminal. Mind you, we’re all partly to blame.

You don’t think it’s true?

Blood red eyes greet you in the mirror every morning, right? You struggle through the work day, uncomfortable and tired as the office spins around you. You go to see your doctor, who tells you to get more rest and exercise. And what do you do? You go home and watch your favorite shows night after night!

If I’m a mad man, then mad men and women grace every medical board and hospital in the nation, because doctors everywhere they share my concerns. A country of workaholics as turned lazy. The modern family no longer enjoys life together. Young boys and girls everywhere waste away on the couch while parks and recreation facilities in cities everywhere go unused.

The dexterity with which the suits at major networks have managed to turn the working class into the walking dead every night between 7 and 10 p.m. is supernatural.

When a nation can’t even agree on the Big Bang Theory, but will all sit in unison in front of a screen to watch Game of Thrones, something is seriously wrong.

But don’t expect any journalist or newsroom to cover this scandal. The chances of that are pretty little. Liars grace the boards of news organizations too and they depend on the same advertisers as the entertainment shows.

I’m not enlightened, I’m just paying attention. Americans, together we can rectify this situation, call attention to this story and blow down this house of cards. Let’s bring about the fall of this industry until every last advertiser is arrested.

***Development: Since publishing this post I’ve realized that I love television. Carry on.