“I write you in regards of the puppy Advert I want to run in your Office, Its an English Bulldog pup 10 weeks and 2days old puppy a male and I have him for adoption to any good person willing to Take proper cares of him show him love and give him a good home. I will like that the Ad is run for 3 weeks only. Gorgeous Male English Bulldog Pup for free Adoption to a good home where he will be proper taken care of. The Baby is only 10 weeks 2 days old, the puppy is absolutely gorgeous! beautiful markings, nice big head and chest, perfect tail and a personality that can’t be beat! Boss is Registered/registrable, Current vaccinations, Veterinarian examination, Health certificate, Health guarantee, Pedigree. Interested persons that can provide him a good home should please email me at (redacted) for more information about him.”

Sorry about that, I couldn’t think of anything new to say about jolly, ultraviolent, cel-shaded, Doom’n’Duke-esque FPS Wrack on top of what I wrote last year, so I thought I’d share some spam I was sent instead.



Perhaps my lack of inspiration is because, between Shadow Warrior, Rise of the Triad and Blood Dragon, the whole faux-retro shooter joke might be getting old, perhaps it’s because I was woken up five times in the middle of the night by the cat (who wanted to use me as a heat source), or perhaps it’s because I’ve just discovered that after years of eating Walkers Smoky Bacon flavoured crisps safe in the knowledge that they were in fact vegetarian-friendly, they’ve recently added ‘dried pork shoulder’ to them. Much as that probably only means a token sprinkling of bone dust and blood-soaked sawdust from the abattoir floor, it’s hit me pretty hard.

Sorry, yes, Wrack, which I first posted about last year. Here launch trailer here:



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Looks pretty slick for what it is, but I suspect it may need to be a little more offbeat for my tastes. That said, after another visit to Binfinite’s uneven attempts to fuse the cerebral with the mindless, there is something refreshing about a game that basically says, “fuck it, bang bang bang ha ha!”

Wrack’s now hit beta stage, and marked that moment by launching on Steam Early Access. Beta in this case entails overhauled textures, effects and levels, so despite the retro thing it looks significantly spanglier than it did. That’s on top of existent draws including a level editor and a score by Doom composer Bobby Prince. $15 if you want to take a punt on it, and more info is here.

Also I should advise you that I’m almost certain that puppy I mentioned isn’t real, so please don’t ask me to put you in touch with the advertiser.