Emailed to us at humptrain@gmail.com:

Boy: (17):

There’s this boy in my PE class who claims to be straight and doesn’t seem like the type to be into guys at all except he’s always trying to catch my attention. Like he’ll bend down in front of me, or take off his shirt by me when we’re changing even though his locker isn’t close to mine, he always picks me for his team at any game and I always find him looking at me. What do I do, or do I do anything at all?

**

Wow, sounds HOT. I’m jealous…however, I’m now having memories of high school gym class and being picked last, which sucks.

When it comes to sex, sometimes you just have to “give up” trying to figure out what something “is”. When you stop trying to label things, and stop wondering if something should turn into something more, the sexual chemistry between two people can just BE…regardless of what it is, who’s involved, who knows about it, and what it ends up leading to down the line. Maybe this gym class eye-candy of yours is destined to be this elusive figure who you never actually hook up with in real life, but rather only in your minds– where you both rest comfortably in the abyss between two people who want to get it on but never will. In the land of What-If, the fantasies are infinite; plus, they make great mental-porn for those lonely nights.

Or, you could corner him in the locker room one day when no one is around…grab him, and lean in and whisper something ridiculously hot…have a gay Dawson’s Creek moment that you’ll play over and over in your head later, wondering if you should have said it….

And the next thing you know you’re giving your first blow job in the back of your Plymouth Reliant outside prom! YAY PROM!!!!

And if that never happens, just know he’s thinking about you when he masturbates.

Thanks for writing us. Feel free to write us back with any developments, personal or otherwise 🙂

Have yourself a merry little Christmas; make the Yule-tide gay!

Love always,

-The Jester