Parliaments in France, Uruguay and New Zealand have passed legislation to permit equal marriage in the past few weeks. In New Zealand collective singing in parliament greeted the news – the joy of song permeates so much of the ways in which people connect with each other there and the celebrations of equality were in no small part about connection and community.

These nations have determined that sexual orientation does not provide grounds on which to permit or deny belonging to the institution of marriage. The number of countries that are leading the journey towards equality is growing and the promise of freedom from discrimination is inching forward.

Little by little the formal structures that tell us some people are more acceptable than others, can lead fuller lives and can expect to live in safety and dignity are being dismantled.

I have no doubt that history is moving in the right direction and we are moving to a place where all will live freely and in dignity.

But we are not there.

We are not there because albinos are beaten and killed for looking different; we are not there because naming a woman a witch seems to grant license for horrific abuse; we are not there because women find that the men who abuse and rape them get away with it again and again.

In a number of countries women who are or are deemed to be lesbians find themselves subjected not only to verbal abuse, stigma or social rejection but to the strange idea that having a penis forced into them, that some perverse idea of the innate goodness of even forced heterosexual contact, will make them see the light – make them become straight.

The practice of what we call ‘corrective rape’, even where homosexuality is legal, is a sharp reminder that the law is not enough to change how people are seen and treated. The idea of compulsory heterosexuality remains powerful.

I am honored to have become chair of the Kaleidoscope Trust, a non-governmental organization which seeks to support activists seeking equality on the grounds of sexuality and sexual orientation.

By equality we speak of enjoying the full range of rights known by others and promised in the human rights framework. Marriage is currently getting attention but it is in the mundane, everyday trivialities of life that dignity and safety also have to be won.

Can an out gay man keep his friends at work? Can a known lesbian women remain at the heart of her family? How easy is it, or indeed, is it possible, for LGBT activists to meet, hire rooms, run workshops, talk about rights? Can LGBT people expect the police to take their complaints of harassment, abuse or fear seriously? And what consequences, if any, are faced by people in public service or in private companies, who discriminate against, refuse to serve or reject the custom of, LGBT people?

It is in these everyday acts and behaviors we know equality, dignity and its absence. And it is towards everyday dignity that LGBT activists are working. Often they do so in situations of danger or fear. They need to see changes that will ensure LGBT people will live freely and safely, know respect and tolerance from their neighbors and peers, be treated fairly by the media.

And those of us who are interested in a just world or in the human rights project share this agenda.

We need to support efforts towards such aims; we need not to lecture on what or how activists should work. We need to step out of the superior voice that says we know this stuff and you are backward. The Kaleidoscope Trust was set up to work with activists in hostile contexts towards the realization of their rights.

The trust mobilizes its own networks and other resources in support of LGBT activists; it also seeks funding to work with individuals and groups on the front line to strengthen work towards their stated goals.

We understand there are clear numbers and complex stories.

There are 79 countries that criminalize same-sex sexual activity (that’s about 40% of states). Five of these allow for the death penalty by way of punishment. Yes, that is being put to death by the state for having sex with someone of your own sex. And again yes, this does happen.

And 43 of the 79 states are members of the Commonwealth – the association of states that prides itself on its commitment to democracy, rights and the rule of law. That’s 43 out of 79 – 54% of those that criminalize – and that is 43 out of 54 members: almost 80% of members.

That is not ok with the LGBT activist who live in those states nor to other human rights activists. The Kaleidoscope Trust is working with activists in the Commonwealth for change, in a year when Heads of Government will convene again to discuss their work.

I have argued above that the law and the lived reality of respect and dignity are not the same. There are countries where legal provisions that criminalize are not implemented, where there is little regard for the colonial legacy of homophobic laws, even if on the books. And there are states where the statute is as egalitarian as could be wished for but attitudes to homosexuality are poisonous indeed.

Likewise, it is dangerous to paint cultures and regions as homophobic or homophilic. The examples often referred to of laws against homosexuality in Uganda or Nigeria have been used to demonize Africans, by lazy observers and commentators who ignore, refuse to see or deny the African stories which do not fit – Rwanda and South Africa, for example.

Kaleidoscope’s work is not easy. It is a difficult journey on which to ask donors to go – outcomes are hard to measure but activists know when the climate changes. And we will stand by them to support their efforts and to promote their safety; we will also seek to find ways to record small but important and incremental changes.

Will you stand with us in this work? Visit the Kaleidoscope Trust website for more information, for announcements of events and for ways in which to donate.