To Dream of a Wolf

I park in front of a small white house with white trim and picket fence that looked like something out of the 50s. I step out of my car into the cool spring air and take a short look around at the mountains that surround my little town. It's the last job of the day and I will be off for the weekend. With tomorrow's plans and the promise of a great adventure while I sleep, I have no doubt this is going to go fast.

I rap my fist on the door and wait till I hear a "come in." from the other side. I push the door open to be greeted by the smell of old. I wrinkle my nose for only a moment then I move deeper into the house. A voice calls from the sitting room to the left and I follow it.

And old lady sits in an elegantly made rocking chair that creaks every time she rocks back and forth. "What seems to be the problem ma'am?" she looks back at me through her spectacles.

She considers for a moment and answers "My son wants me to get an email so I can keep in touch, but the computer won't turn on." The woman points to an old computer on a table in the corner and then ads, "And you can call me Jean." Her smile was full,

I made my way around her stained coffee table and over to the computer. "When was the last time you used this thing?" I asked, stooping to look at the tower.

"Oh, when my grandson got a fancy laptop a few years ago," She responded. That was not a good sign that anything could be done at all. that But I start inspecting the tower anyways.

It wasn't plugged in. I reach back and push the cord into the power strip and move back. I press the big button in the center of the front face of the tower. The light above the disk drive starts flashing and the fan starts to whir. I stand up and turn on the monitor to be greeted by the worst thing imaginable.

The logo for windows 97 burns to life on the screen. My jaw drops and I turn to Jean "Well, would you look at that. You fixed It." Jean is speaking with a smile on her face and I contort my face to match.

"Oh it wasn't that big of a deal it just wasn't plugged in," I say calmly. "I do it all the time," I lie.. "There is still a problem. Your computer is really outdated" I sit in the computer chair. "And it's really bad, like 17 years old bad. Your computer won't handle most of the stuff you might want it to do."

"So I need to get I knew one. Is that going to cost a lot?" She stops rocking for a moment. "I'm not a rich person I can't just go buying things like this." she crosses her arms and goes back to rocking slowly.

"It's not as much anymore. Actually there are so many more options that I think we can find the right match for you. I can go grab my computer and we can get right to work on it." So much for a quick job. I jog out to my car grab my laptop and run back in opening a Wi-Fi network on my phone so we could get through this. In the end she chose a MacBook that she could get a data plan for. And I give her my card before walking out the door and to my car.

I was bouncing in my seat. It's the weekend and I'm going to go on an adventure. My first time camping. On top of that I was done with work early so I had time to go to bed early and rejoin the adventure I'd been dreaming the past few months. In no time I'm at my house; a small, blue two bedroom house with a good kitchen. I am isolated but content. I get inside the door and nearly trip over my daypack. I've been packed since Monday and everything is ready. I head to the kitchen and cook a quick dinner of hotdogs and baked beans. For what it is the food tastes great and I have little to complain about.

I get prepared for bed and lay staring at the ceiling waiting for sleep to take me to my second life.







I'm assaulted by all five senses, aided by the long narrow muzzle, long ears and fur that cover my body. I'm running, bow drawn and arrow notched; ready to fire at a moment's notice. "Idiot, you missed again," my breath is ragged from running.

A scent hits my nose and I slow to a stop. A deer, right in front of me. I extend my left arm, holding the bow up and pulling the string back to my cheek ruff. I let my breath slowly slip from me as I release the bowstring. The string snaps forward, propelling the arrow through the air.

My ears pick up the satisfying "thump" of the arrow finding its mark. The shaft of wood sticks from the animal's neck. The deer launches itself into the air in shock and then runs off. It doesn't get far. I find it on the ground, it's breathing labored. Bending towards it, I take a slender curved blade from its place on my ankle and spring it forward, releasing the animal of its pain. I whisper a wish of peace before getting to work.

With the deer's innards in a pile beside me, I clean my knife, replacing it in its sheath. Standing, I pull the deer over my shoulders and start running back the way I'd come. The trees pass by me faster than I can count. The undergrowth got thicker ahead. I could see plain and clear. I angle myself to the road as I run though the thickening plant life. The sun is just beginning to dip below the western horizon. My paws carry me forward to the town ahead of me.

There is not much to say of the place. Wooden buildings with thatch roofs, dirt roads that criss-crossed crookedly through town. My eyes came to focus on a sign with the word "Butcher" written in crude lettering. I walk into the doorless shop.

The walls are covered in countless trophies of past hunts and the bear behind the counter sits calm cleaning a gleaming knife. My claws click against the wooden floor, loud in the silence of the room. The bear looks up.

"Well stranger, it's not every day I get a wolf in here. What can I do you for?" The bear's eyes survey me calmly as he places his knife on the scarred counter.

"I'm hoping to get rid of this deer if you interested in some business." A smile spreads across my muzzle. Something that from what it looks like in a mirror is not as encouraging as intended, but the bear returns the smile.

"Let's see the bloody beast then" I let the deer carcass fall to the counter with a thump. "Certainly looks fresh" he tacks his knife and cuts a small pace of flesh from the animal. He smells it slowly then tentatively puts it in his mouth. "Yeah that's fresh all right," he says.

"Killed it just today." I say leaning against the counter, "Took most of the day to run the thing down you know. Missed my first shot; lost my favorite arrow." My tail flicks with contentment. The bear listens well, surveying the rest of the meat.

"Not to nosey or anything but don't you wolves travel in packs? Why you are alone and down from the mountains?" My ears go flat against my head and I stand up straight.

"That is none of your business. So, are we doing business or not?" The bear's hands go up in a surrendering Gesture.

"I meant no harm! Just thought I'd make some small talk, if you don't mind." His paws came down and he went back to cutting. "But, since you do, we'll stick to business. This deer is worth 30 gold pieces."

I smirk at the bear "30? This beast is worth at least 100! I do hope you not trying to cheat me, friend." I give him another smile. We negotiate back and forth again and again. At last we agree upon a sum of 63 gold pieces. I leave the shop my money pouch once again clinking with coin.

I turn back to the edge of town, stopping at the inn. Pulling the door open the, afternoon glow sends a shaft of light across the dim room. The first scent to hit my snout is the smell of food. Hot, juicy food. My insides smell it too and remind me that I haven't eaten a true meal in several days.

I stride to the bar and sit down. A female lynx greats me. "What do you need tonight, sir? Something strong to push off the day?" Her lips pull back from her sharp teeth into a smile.

"Just some wine thanks." She turns to leave and he ears flit back as my stomach gives off a grown worthy of a lion. "And some of whatever smell so good," I add quickly with some embarrassment.

"That would be the pork stew. It will be out in just a bit." That smile came again. Its predatory feel kind of scares me to be honest, but I just smile back as she disappears behind a door frame.

Movement catches my attention as a large horse sits next to me. "The names Kelton, and you look like someone with a story to tell." He holds out a hand waiting for a response.

"Bren," I say flatly, taking his hand. "You overestimate my storytelling ability. So I think my story will stay just that. Mine." A bowl of soup and a wine skin are placed in front of me with a nod from the waitress.

I convey appreciation before the horse orders two shots of Flest. "Would a drink help loosen your tongue?" He smiles a long, flat toothed smile.

"You know what, I think we may just speak the same language. But one shot won't make me an idol peacock." I down a spoonful of the soup and it's fantastic. Better than anything I made from a can.

The horse inspects me for a moment, "Well if you got the time and are willing to buy every other round, we can trade stories." We are both handed shots of a golden liquid. "Stories are my life. I am in fact the town's story teller."

I raise the glass and then down it. The sharp sour taste is replaced with a warmth as it slides to my gut joining the soup. We spend the rest of the night swapping stories, mine of my home in the mountains and him of war to the east and the port to the south, before I feel the dream begin to fade and I'm pulled back once again to reality.







I wake with an alarm blaring some dumb song from the radio in my ear. I groan and look over at the time. Its 5:30am. I curse. sitting up and turning off the alarm. What was I thinking setting the alarm for this early on a Saturday?

I hop out of bed and slip into the clothes I had planned out for today. I'm almost bouncing as I eat toast, tying my boots tightly. Before leaving, I grab my bag and make sure I turn off all the lights.

I leave my door with a bounce in my step. This is it I'm going to have a real adventure. I may not be killing wild animals with a bow and arrow but it was an adventure none the less.

I'm almost running out the door, grabbing the backpack on my way out. I unlock my car door and make my way to the driver's side door. My bag lands in the passenger's seat with a resounding clunk. I slide into the driver's seat and start the car. Backing out of the driveway my anticipation grows.

The mountains around the town are all protected forest. By the end of tonight I will be sitting on a ledge overlooking the valley and watching the stars pass with the slow spin of the earth. Sipping on the expensive whisky I had bought earlier this week. .My car moves forward to the edge of town where the road built to prevent forest fire will ferry me up part of the way.

The dirt road comes into view with large tree branches hanging over it like a dark maw waiting to swallow my car. I don't dwell on that thought as the shade covers my windshield. I follow the road as it twist and turns up the mountain until the path is blocked by a fallen tree.

I pull over and stop off to the side of the road. This seems like as good a place as any to start my adventure. I push my door open and make my way around the car to the passenger side door, where i grab my bag and toss it over my shoulder.

Cautiously, I make my way across the road and stop at the tree line, taking a deep breath. First step I think, then I press forward. I imagined leaving myself behind and becoming someone new, and I did. The trees quickly swallowed me.

Ferns and small trees keep trying to catch my ankles as I walk. I'm loving every second of it, from the wind in the trees to the birds in the sky. Why was I never brave enough to do this before? Infact there was no part of this that was scary.

I continue walking, at points humming to myself and walking in beat with the toon,. until the inevitable growl of my stomach comes and I look for a place to stop and eat. Before long I come across a small clearing from which I can see my goal: A ledge in the distance.

I pull out some beef jerky and one of my five water bottles. I slurp down the water and chew the jerky, staring at the sheer rock face I had to somehow get around. But it was no problem. Finding my way there was part of the adventure.

As I finish my meal, I pack up what's left of the food and toss it back into my bag. I make the quick decision to go up to the rock face and then try to find my.*finish this thought*

I pull the pack back on and begin my direct assent to the rock face. Im making my way through the trees when a deeper shadow comes over head. I ignore the chill in the air and the Gusting of the wind, right up until a raindrop hits my face.

All the energy I had had for this trip turns to panic. I look back the way I'd come and contemplate going back. I stand for a tentative minute then turn back to the rock face. I had a mission, a goal, and I will not let some rain take that away from me.

I press on. It wasn't even supposed to rain today! As I approach the wall I'm soaking wet and my boots are heavy with mud. Every time I try to kick it off the next step puts more back on. I start walking along the wall trying to find my way around

I feel my way along the wall, rain coming down in great sheets as well as the constant pouring off the wall. I can barely see the incline ahead and when I step onto it my foot slides out from under me and I go sliding down to the bottom. On the way down I twist and try grabbing at the earth to no avail.

At the bottom I feel crushed. My plan ruined, death imitate. "What did I do wrong?" I ask myself. I slowly flip myself cursing the weather for ruining my plans when I see my salvation.

The mouth of a cave sits right before me. I stare in disbelief at the strange natural formation. I push myself up elated to finally be out of the rain. I get under the cave and it all stops except for the noise. That gets amplified.

The cool interior of the cave is dark. The light from the entrance only makes it about a hundred feet into the cave after that it quickly fades to pitch black. The ground is covered in water, and the walls feel damp.

I survey my surrounding looking for a place to hold up for the night. I spot a ledge that's almost out of reach. I toss my bag up and hear no splash or indication of water. Clambering up behind it I find that it's dry as a bone. What luck?

I go to my bag and pull out my sleeping bag. It's soaked. "Crap!" I say aloud into the quiet darkness, my voice swallowed by the crashing water outside. I watch out the cave entrance hoping the rain would stop but it just keeps falling till the small amount of light in the cave wanes and I'm left in total darkness.

I lay looking up tracing the cracks in the ceiling with my finger. I've been here for hours and there seems to be no end to the water flowing over the edge of the cave. The constant noise only a slight annoyance. Over the past few hours it has slowly darkened till now it is pitch black.

My mind begins to lose the battle against my body's want to sleep. I let my head fall back and my arms lay across my chest. It was only a matter of time until my eyes closed and I found myself once again in a comparative paradise.





·

The crisp morning air moves through my snout. The town was far behind. Freedom once again. My world my life far from the confines of a freezing cave. I can see glimpses of a cloudless sky though the trees. The thrill of running faster than any Olympic athlete. Each paw finds its hold and propels me through the woods.

I stop and sniff at the earthiness of the woods. The faint scent of prey reaches me and I look turn to look in that direction. There's nothing but woods. I swish my ears in all directions to pick up any sound, but there is nothing but the wind in the trees and a passing bird. I turn looking for something. My eyes focus on the trunk of a giant pine tree.

I spring toward it then leap. Wham! I hit and dig my claws into the bark. I pull myself up, supporting the climb with my legs. I continue climbing toward the pinnacle of the tree, each branch getting thinner. My head finally escapes from the confines of the tree I am greeted by an unparalleled view. The tops of the trees of all shades of green till they give way to the rolling hills and fields of the lower valley.

I survey the land around looking for something. Finally my head stops swiveling and I have a chance to focus on a small herd of deer. Without a second thought I grab a lower branch and swing down.

My stomach enters my throat as the tinny branch gives way and gravity pulls me to toward the forest floor. I lose track of which way is up as I hit bran after branch. With a crackling thump I hit the ground. There's blood from my muzzle's contact with a branch and my ears are ringing from a similar blow to the side of the head.

Every movement is met with aching pain and as I push myself off my front, rolling onto my back, my quiver and bow seem to be okay. I survey my situation. My arrows are splayed across the ground and the strap for my left hunting knife seems to have broken; it was almost twenty feet away on the ground still clasped within its sheath.

I slowly push myself up through my body's protest . Even my tail feels a solid ache half way down. "Damn" I scream into the silent trees around me. I slowly turn onto my hands and knees before trying to push off my left foot.

A fiery pain shoots up the leg causing my entire body to convulse leaving me on my elbows and knees I slide gingerly onto my rump to see just how bad it is. My lower leg doesn't seem to be at an odd angle. Well no more odd than a canine's lower leg normally is. A tender finger experimentally touches the spot the pain originated from. "Ahh!" The pain is there but on a wide spread. Maybe sprained it, or bruised the bone. It couldn't be a fracture. I fumble at my belt to untie my sword and sheath. When it comes off I push myself up trying to avoid putting pressure on the injured leg. "Well eehh that was dumb," I get to my feet putting no pressure on the injured leg and using the sword as a makeshift cane.

I make my way around a wide arch collecting all my arrows and the hunting knife. Cursing I shove the knife and sheath into my quiver. I stand, still supported by the sword, and start the slow hike back toward town.

The time moves slow as the hours drag past me, the sun reaching its pinnacle. I seem to have lost my way. I should be moving out of the forest but so far it just seems to be getting thinker. I try to will myself to head in the other direction but can't. I needed to go to town. Before too long a jagged rock cliff comes into view, and just barely in view through the trees a black hole in the rock.

My inner turmoil comes to a halt. This just reflected my day. It felt disappointed in a way. All this is my subconscious playing out the emotions of the day. Why would this be anything more?

After the realization the parallels are clear. My wolf took the risk in climbing the tree and I took an adventure. Then we both failed catastrophically. Now we are both going to rot is caves till someone comes across us. "This should do" I said with disappointment. Why would I say anything at all? This dream hurt to watch.

Outside the entrance I grab an armload of broken branches and toss them into the cave. I hobble my way in behind grabbing a tuft of dry foliage on my way in. with the click of flint on steel I begin to kindle a small flame far from the entrance where there's scarcely enough light to see by, even with my wild, enhanced night vision.





·

I wake with a start. There's something wrong. Something around me has changed. My mind reels from the vast change in scenery. It's bitch black and cold. Why on earth does my other self get fire? It's not fair.

My mind eventually clicks into place, the rain, it stopped. And beneath me a small bet of water is collecting. I reach up to touch the ceiling and a freezing bead of water runs down my arm. I sit up from the puddle, second grade science coming back to me.. The rain seeps through the ground into caves like this.

I look around and I can't believe my eyes. A light. A real light deeper in the cave. Light means people and if there are people I'm safe.

I yank my bag over to me hoping to find something. I thrust my hand past the bottle and right into a much smaller bag. I grasp it the two cylinders inside making me feel like a complete idiot.

I pull the pouch out and tear it open letting the glow sticks fall into my lap. I crack the first one and I'm greeted by a harsh green light. I crack the other revealing yellow. The two colors cast a sickly hue on the walls giving sharp ghostly shadows to every bump and groove in the cave. I hold the light over the small ledge where I sit, looking for a safe way down. I see it and slowly clamber down. I reach the bottom and find myself ankle deep in water. "Crap, crap CRAP!" too late now. I slosh my way over toward the light. It leads me deeper and deeper into the dark abyss. The passage slowly rises and I find my feet on dry ground. This does nothing for the squishing of water in my heavy boots. The light takes up the whole ceiling of the cave as I realize what's ahead of me.

A sheer drop, but at the bottom I can see the flickering of a fire. The smell of wood smoke greats my nose and I'm almost leaping for joy. I drop the yellow glow stick over the edge and watch as it drops. It hits the ground quickly. I have to get down there.

Without taking time to consider backing out I clasp and tighten the pack on my back, but he remaining glow stick on my mouth and swing my leg over the edge. I find a foot hold and let the rest of my body follow. The climb is hard and my fingers are grating against the stone. I'm getting closer. My foot slips and I fall flat against the stone wall hanging by just my hands.

My feet finds new perches and I continue to shimmy my way down. I make it to the bottom and turn. I can see the fire and a huge sleeping bag unrolled beside it. Beyond that there is more light. Had it really been long enough for morning to come? I stride forward not shure as to what to do in this situation. Do I yell or just wait for the stranger to get up on their own? I decide on a middle ground and give out a timid "hi"

The sleeping bag twitches. Than an impossibly thick arm lifts the huge sack off the ground. Two triangles lift from the small part at the top. They seem to twitch around. Then they stop and it turns its head.

The beast turns to me and stands on two legs. The thing is gigantic and it's staring me down with great big yellow eyes. I'm petrified.

Before I can strike up the courage to say anything it does in a sleepy growl of a voice "what in the name of the king are you?" I'm taken aback not only by the question but the fact that it can talk!

"K-Kane" I answer his head cocks slightly to the side and I hear him sniff like a dog. His head resumes it earlier position and his eyes narrow.

"Kane what's a Kane? I do not think you grow in marshes." He sniffs again "You smell wet and scared. Do I scare you?" his voice sounds bemused by the concept. I on the other hand want to piss my pants and run.

"No, it's my name. I'm a human." He turns and tosses a large stick into the flame. That's when I notice the fluffy tail swing behind him.

"Hmm I have never heard of a human before. Do you all dwell in dark caves with the audacity to try to sleep in them? Because if that's the case I'll leave just soon as I can walk on my two paws again." His head turns back to me snout sticking out far from the rest of his face. "In the meantime why don't you come sit and tell me about yourself Kane. By the way I'm Bren" he turns back and waits.

I slowly make my way forward and I have to pass right by him to sit on the oppose side of the fire. All the while there's something nagging at the back of my mind. I sit down trying not to stare at the strange creature, but I look up and almost choke on my own tongue. I know that face. It's my face. Well sort of. I had seen it every time my reflection showed in my dreams. "I... You...This... this can't be happening! You... you're me... I mean me-"

"What do you mean I am you. We have never met and you look nothing like me. Were you dropped on you face as a pup? Not even otters have faces as flat as yours and you seem to have hit your head." I feel on the edge of anger. There has to be some explanation for this. Hypothermia yes that's it I'm hallucinating because I have hypothermia.

"This is going to take a long explanation" I say slowly "are you thirsty?" I ask tentatively. He motions a yes and I dig out the water taking two out leaving only one and the whisky. I toss it over the fire and he snatched it out of the air.

"What's this?" he actually looks perplexed. Then I realize how different our worlds are. And I feel my ears heat up at the need to explain what a water bottle is.

"Well, it's like a water skin but where I come from they're everywhere."

"Where you come from?" his voice is quiet and questioning. "So you don't live in this cave then, right?"

"No, not at all. Just unscrew the lid like this." I show him and unscrew my lid with ease then take a sip and exhale to show it does taste good. I look to him and he tries in vain to unscrew the lid. It's kind of comical. He starts growling clearly agitated by the challenge that he's come across. "I can open it for you if you want" I say trying to be helpful."

"No!" His response is instant and then he takes the bottle and bites it. Water seeps out in all direction before he starts sucking on the plastic. It compresses and within a minute the whole thing is gone and the bottle is in the fire. "That thing is the stupidest idea I have ever seen. A simple skin works leagues better than that."

I look at him mouth open. It's finally sinking in, I think. This is no hallucination. He is real and he is just as capable of biting through my neck as a water bottle. "Well" I say with a swallow "it's all about the conveniance, like computers."

His ears perk up. "Computers, I have never heard of such a thing" Bren is genuinely puzzled by this. In my infinite IT computer nerding I have as always said the one thing that will leave the person I'm trying to explain things to perplexed. I might as well have just told him I dream though him every night.

"Okay this is going to be really hard to explain and it will sound stupid, even insane but I need you to hear me out." I try my best to explain what I've been experiencing through him the past few months all the while his ears slide lower and lower. I finish my story and take a deep breath "So I don't belong here, I don't know how I got here and I don't know why I have these dreams."

Bren considers me for a long moment then slowly starts to speak. "Kane in this world, dreams mean something. It's never clear and damn near impossible to interpret. When I was younger I lived deep in the mountains and my father made sure that every dream I could remember was written and interpreted." His yellow eyes pierce me "If you have been having this dream for so long then it means something. I just don't know what."

His eyes and muzzle drift toward the entrance to the cave and his ears perk up. "Come. You must see something." He gets up and walks with only a slight limp. I follow as we leave the cave. He walks parallel to the wall for a time then starts climbing.

"What are you doing?" I ask he responds by looking back a motioning for me to follow him. He climbs with ease, the injury not holding him back, at least not visibly. I try to follow him and use the same hand holds scrambling to keep up and when I reach the top I'm out of breath.

"Why did you run off and make me climb a rock face." He just looks to the far horizon and smiles. I look too, am lose all ability to speak. The sun is dipping below the horizon painting the clouds with reds, oranges and pinks. "Wow, that's just... wow."

He turns to me "I thought you should see the sunset with your own eyes." He says this matter a factually and then turns back to the sky.

"You know I thought this place was a paradise my mind, made to cover how boring my real life is." I look over to him. "That's why I started this trip thing. To find my own adventure.

Bren's ear is turned to me. And he makes a long toothy grin. "Yes, this valley is spectacular, but the mountains are cold and harsh. That's part of why I ran." He looks down to me. "This valley is as close as I think I deserve to paradise." Then he frowns "You are one ghastly looking creature Kane, but I can tell you this paradise is where you make it"

With that he goes back to watching the sunset and I sit, the wind the only sound, contemplating.