Last week marked five years since Cory Monteith died from a combined heroin and alcohol overdose. In a new interview in this week's issue of People, Cory's mom Ann McGregor opened up about the impact of his death, which she learned about from Cory's girlfriend at the time and fellow Glee star Lea Michele, and what she's done in the ensuing years to carry on her son's legacy.

Ann told People that she can still remember exactly how she felt when she first learned of Cory's death, and how that "numbness" continued for weeks after. "I got a call from Lea and she was screaming on the phone. She was yelling, 'Is it true, is it true about Cory?' and I said, 'What about Cory?' I had heard nothing. And then police knocked on my front door," Ann said. "I went into a state of numbness. I just shut off all emotions, and I was numb."

She continued, "I knew it was real, but there were times when I could lie to myself and say, 'He's in L.A., he'll call me soon.' I'm still always hanging on edge. When you lose someone who is such a big part of you, you lose all purpose for living."

Cory's mom also recalled that, before his death, the 31-year-old had made plans to move back to Vancouver after his Glee contract was up and had talked about wanting to start a family. "Cory wanted a wife and kids," Ann said. "He would have made a beautiful father. He had accomplished so much. He was ready to step out of Hollywood and really live. He had so much to look forward to."

Since then, Ann has made it her mission to continue her son's most important work. People reports that she has taken over Cory's roles with Project Limelight and St. James Music Academy, two organizations that provide arts education to children and teens. Of her new mission to preserve Cory's legacy, Ann told People, "Cory didn't want to die. There is no doubt about that. But he's carried in people's hearts forever."

If you or someone you know is struggling with a substance use disorder, help is available through Crisis Text Line, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and more locally available resources.

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