Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf

And she was absolutely right.

He ate her up in one big bite.

But Grandmamma was small and tough,

And Wolfie wailed, ``That's not enough!

I haven't yet begun to feel

That I have had a decent meal!''

He ran around the kitchen yelping,

``I've got to have a second helping!''

Then added with a frightful leer,

``I'm therefore going to wait right here

Till Little Miss Red Riding Hood

Comes home from walking in the wood.''

He quickly put on Grandma's clothes,

(Of course he hadn't eaten those).

He dressed himself in coat and hat.

He put on shoes, and after that

He even brushed and curled his hair,

Then sat himself in Grandma's chair.

In came the little girl in red.

She stopped. She stared. And then she said,

``What great big ears you have, Grandma.''

``All the better to hear you with,'' the Wolf replied.

``What great big eyes you have, Grandma.''

said Little Red Riding Hood.

``All the better to see you with,'' the Wolf replied.

He sat there watching her and smiled.

He thought, I'm going to eat this child.

Compared with her old Grandmamma

She's going to taste like caviar.

Then Little Red Riding Hood said, ``But Grandma,

what a lovely great big furry coat you have on.''

``That's wrong!'' cried Wolf. ``Have you forgot

To tell me what BIG TEETH I've got?

Ah well, no matter what you say,

I'm going to eat you anyway.''

The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.

She whips a pistol from her knickers.

She aims it at the creature's head

And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.

A few weeks later, in the wood,

I came across Miss Riding Hood.

But what a change! No cloak of red,

No silly hood upon her head.

She said, ``Hello, and do please note

My lovely furry wolfskin coat.''

Roald Dahl, Revolting Rhymes