We the Q.P.R fans wish to respond to the recent allegations in the press that our club is being run by two mercenary crooks and their yapping Italian lapdog by agreeing with you and distancing ourselves from these plonkers.

The recent revelation that it will cost £50 to sit in the away end at Loftus Road has led to a twitter campaign #boycottQPR, we strongly endorse this boycott. We have seen the upper tier of the School End, we know it’s a shithole, we know the view is terrible and we know that watching Patrick Agyemang is not worth £50 (unless you are interested in a comedy evening). We feel that whilst we are stupid enough to be fleeced by our tight fisted owners when it comes to paying through the nose for tickets, you don’t have too. The joys of Sky and streaming mean you can watch the game anyway without a questionable substance dripping on your head from the leaky roof above you.

We the fans are as shocked as you the press at the lack of transfer funds given to our manager. We cannot understand why over the last 3 years our Small and Orange owners have felt the need to part with their money in order to secure the signings of Liam Miller, Gary Borrowdale, Nigel Quashie, Damiano Tommasi and Allesadro Pellicori yet are now stalling once we have reached the promised land of The Premier League and will only allow for free transfers. we also wonder if the owners regret spending millions of pounds on chandeliers to hang in the club offices for no particular reason.

To the compilers of season preview packages, we also can’t understand why we are yet to see a new kit for the season. Surely releasing a new home shirt and charging £40 for it a few months ago would have generated income due to the wave of optimism garnered from our promotion? We agree with you that it’s sodding annoying that the only team in The Premier League that don’t have a new kit yet is Q.P.R.

Fans of other clubs that were excited to see a founding member of the Premier League back in England’s top flight. We were excited too. It’s a shame that we are unrecognizable from the family club that went down in 1996. If it helps, we still hate Chelsea just as much. In fact we hated Chelsea before hating Chelsea was even cool. We can’t promise you that we will be a credit to the Premier League, we can’t promise that our owners won’t make you pay handsomely to sit in the smallest ground in the league, we can’t even promise you that Leon Clarke won’t sully the fine traditions of your club by daring to appear against you. But we can promise you that we the fans will strive to keep the name of Q.P.R clean and out of the press for the wrong reasons.

Finally to the owners that saved our club. I saved a cat once, I don’t walk around kicking it, pissing on it and blowing in it’s ears before reminding it that it wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for me. I leave the cat alone with owners who care about it.