TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

Claire Harris has found herself wishing she kept her mouth shut this morning after a conversation with an old codger on the bus has just entered its third round of questioning.

It’s understood Claire made her first mistake when she politely greeted the old man as she sat down next to him, it was this simple greeting that opened the floodgates.

“And your boyfriend, what does he do?” Asked Ron Dickson both innocently and invasively.

“Where did you meet? I met my wife…” Ron continued but it’s too long-winded to report.

After she got off the bus our reporter caught up with Claire, who looked like she’d hopped off the bus and into the cold bony arms of a dementor.

“As soon as I said hello I immediately regretted speaking”

“I mean, chatting to old people is nice but I’d done my community service just by saying hello – I didn’t sign up for the slowest retelling of his grandson’s birthday”

“He might not have anyone else to talk to, which is sad, but I’m coming off a 3-day bender and hearing him speak was like having glass shards blown directly into my ear canal.”

The Advocate understands that Ron has since engaged in another conversation with an old lady who sat next to him, luckily for both parties they’re both old and can continue chatting to each other for as long as their hearts desire.

More to come.