“B e Data Driven” -every person ever “Don’t use vanity metrics” -every other person “Data is the new oil” -don’t even get me started about these people

It’s hard out there for a dashboard.

We’re seriously misunderstood. Everybody wants us… but it tends to be the wrong kind of attention.

When that girl from marketing is staring at me from across the office I can tell she’s not really looking at the real me.

She’s looking at my nice charts, sleek scoreboard, and trendy live data.

She just doesn’t get it. She’s not seeing what I really have to offer.

But, if I keep her attention long enough, she’ll start to realize I’m pretty great and maybe even notice all my other data that actually matters.

It’s dashboard 101. What people want from us is pretty standard:

To know how they did (last week, last month, etc.)

— compared to how they did before (the comparable period)

— relative to their goals

— compared to how they did before (the comparable period) — relative to their goals With drill downs to the drivers of that performance.

I mean… BLAH! Am I right!?

I almost fell asleep writing that.

The only exciting part of that list is the “drill downs”, and that is usually just a boring pivot table or a blasé pie chart.

The moment one of us starts showing some prettified demographics data, or a big user behavior chart, or even some animated live #hashtag activity…. all of sudden everyone’s saying we use “vanity metrics” or “data fluff.”

But you know what? I like vanity metrics. I like fluff. I like all the data that gets forgotten and pushed to the side. That’s where you find the good stuff.

I’m a dashboard, and I shouldn’t just be defined by boring reporting.

I should be an explorer! I should uncover new frontiers of your data. I’m ever changing and always evolving. I need to be exciting and sexy.

I also need to keep your attention.

Because a boring dashboard is an unused dashboard. But one that’s sexy, cool, exciting, and different… people will check every damn day.

Stop pretending to be nice, Brian. We all know the truth.

Who cares if that dude from the data science department calls me “unsubstantiated, statistically irrelevant nonsense” (ouch Brian, that really hurt…). Maybe that “nonsense” is what keeps Hannah from marketing checking my other data every day. Maybe it’s what lets her get to know the real me! Huh, Brian, did you ever consider that?!

I’m here to loudly declare that I’m vain and I’m proud of it. That my vanity metrics, my data fluff, and every other part of me is just as important as “actionable insights.”

I declare that sometimes the best ideas come from looking at data that isn’t a top KPI. That dashboards should be fun, exciting and always evolving. That they should help us explore and find new frontiers in our data.

Go ahead and add that pretty, multi-colored, animated, pie chart! Your local data scientist might shed a few tears, but he can deal with it.

Go ahead and add that table that breaks down your activity by age, favorite color, preferred brand of donut, or whatever else you have in your data warehouse! Do it now, I’m waiting!

Use your dashboards in a new way every day, make them fun, make them engaging and please help me be a little less boring.

Sincerely,

Every Damn Dashboard You’ve Ever Seen