I have a good friend who is conventionally pretty - tall, slim, and “understatedly beautiful,” as other people have called her. I, on the other hand, am short and stocky. Not many people would call me beautiful.

We go to the same gym and decided to take a group fitness class together since they’re free. While perusing the offerings, she suggested zumba. I said I didn’t feel comfortable dancing in front of other people.

“But everyone looks silly doing zumba, that’s what makes it great” she said. And then she proceeded to beat-box and break out in an awkward, limbs-flailing dance in front of the entire cardio section of the gym - about 20 people. Everyone found it hilarious.

I also laughed, but inside I felt a little depressed. I would never have the self confidence to make myself look intentionally goofy. I think I’m funny, but it’s always a turn of phrase, never something that would draw attention to any bodily flaws. I don’t make weird faces in pictures, I don’t wear funny costumes on Halloween, and I definitely don’t do silly dances. All because I don’t want to attract any unnecessary attention to my body.

We decided on spinning. I’ll most assuredly be sitting in the back row.