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Meet The Lakeville Asshole Who Shot A Golden Retriever Puppy Five Times Because He Felt Like Using It For Target Practice And Then Lied About Being Scared

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Holllllly crap am pissed this morning folks.

I’m sure by now you’ve heard about the fucking asshole who shot the Golden Retriever puppy because he felt threatened by it, right? We here at Turtleboy are the only ones releasing his name. (Mostly because I want to stomp this guy in the mooter. That’s a man-cooter. I won’t. But the mental picture has run through my head about 90 times while I slurp my coffee and hatw-write this.

I first saw this circling around my newsfeed yesterday afternoon. I thought to myself “who would even do that? No way this is real.”

Well it was.

Meet Lakeville’s own Mark Vasseur. This 60 something-slab of cholesterol is the man who was afraid of a pair of puppies. He was so terrified of the puppies that he had to shoot the one year-old retriever, named Walle, not once, not twice, FIVE TIMES.

Yeah, they look like a real pair of Cujo-twins. Prick.

Here Mark is posing with a fish that weighs far more than the Walle, the fluffy golden buddy looking for snuggly belly rubs, and Zeke, who makes me want to fluff his ears, combined.

Here is a dog that weighs slightly less than Mark.

You see what I’m saying here? There is zero chance this dog, let alone these dogs, were scary to a man who spent his entire life working with other animals. You can read the MSM version here:

LAKEVILLE, Mass. – On Sunday, a man in Lakeville shot at two dogs after he says he felt threatened by a golden retriever and German shepherd puppies.

The owners say 1-year-old puppies Zeke and Walle were inseparable together and great with their 3-month-old baby, Toran.

“They were best friends and we got them at the same time,” said Krissy Dashner.

Dashner and Pat Bates were just beginning to feel like their family was complete. But things changed when they let their dogs outside on Sunday and they escaped from the yard.

“He went to put them on a leash and they got out before him and booked it kinda into the woods,” Dashner said.

The couple spent an hour searching for the dogs, until they heard five gunshots.

Dashner and Bates later learned from police that their golden retriever Walle was dead. He had been shot by the neighbor who lives through the woods.

They describe the 50-pound Walle as a “goofball” who would never hurt a fly.

“I can’t imagine why you would ever shoot Walle or any dog. Just call animal control,” Dashner said.

Boston 25 News reporter Heather Hegedus tracked down the neighbor, who would only identify himself as Mark. He says Walle killed his chicken, and says he doesn’t regret his actions.

I tried to spook them, the retriever turned and charged at me. I had no choice but to shoot him, it was self-defense,” Mark said. “It was either get bit by the dog or shoot him. I’m an animal lover, I love dogs, I would never shoot a dog unjustly.”

Mark says he has a gun because there are all kinds of predators around his property, such as fisher cats.

“I can’t imagine if the kids – if our kids were with the dogs at the time. I mean, we have paths in the woods that we walk and other people walk all the time,” Dashner said.

Police are still investigating whether these actions were criminal or not. Police will not release any further information until the incident is concluded.

I cited them because that’s what other writers do as a sign of respect. Fox hasn’t learned that yet.

I understand that Mark has some livestock dat needs pertektin’. I really do. But to mistake a puppy thinking you’re playing with him and romping back at you for a charge? COME ON. He said his wife Barbara was there.

Neither of these two grown adults, surrounded by animals all day, had the common sense to pick up a phone and call animal control.

Have you guys ever been to Lakeville? The feckin place looks like the landscape of Deliverance. They must have a pretty well-trained ACO on hand because that place is swimming with trash pandas and those stupid small dog-things that sound like someone murdering a child when they yelp.

(Hyperbole, people. I know what a racoon and coyote are.)

Mark quickly realized that he screwed up big time and came up with this fabulous excuse that Walle had snacked on one of his chickens. The chickens in an enclosure. Even if I thought that was true, and I don’t, SO WHAT? Now all your wife has to do is pluck the feathers and make some stuffing. Your pecker-faced pal isn’t worth the lives of two domesticated family members. You think the family of the dogs wouldn’t have reimbursed you? Hell, I would have.

Something tells me Mark the Scared is very well-versed in the words “treat” and “cookie.” He didn’t have a pan and a spoon to bang together? He should have used those instead of the weapon tucked under his mupa. Just because you have the legal right to do something doesn’t mean it’s necessary.

Maybe he missed their collars and registration tags? Nope, sounds to me like he needed to show how big his unfindable pud really is.

A fucking Fisher is NOT a puppy and Mark doesn’t have a gun to protect him from mean animals trying to nosh his chickens. He has it because it’s his God given right! His Facebook is a variable memecraft fortress built out of such gems as these:

I guess biting animals are only funny when they are chewing on the leg of Joe Biden. Maybe the dogs were liberals coming to protest his right to bear arms. Possibly his freedom of speech? Well please excuse me while I exercise mine.

Oh, Mark the Scared wasn’t done.

Yeah, he’s one of these guys. I call one or more of his kind “uncle” at the Thanksgiving table. You know, the holiday when I’m eating a delicious dead bird and feeding my pup scraps under the table because dogs are superior to poultry?

IN FACT, I sent the news links over to my gun-toting crazy uncles (love youuuuu) and they almost hit the roof with rage. They said this is the kind of guy who gives the rest of gun advocate crowd a bad name. They are huge animal lovers. They agree with me on this dude lying.

Basically, it’s my gut-feeling Mark the Scared shot first and made up a story about a chicken assault later. Five shots. He used this poor baby for target practice. I hope this asshole gets everything coming to him. I seriously hope he had to look this grieving family in the eye and see the grief he has caused.

Fuck you Mark and Barbara.

Lock him up.

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