Did you know Reductress has a new card game? Take a look at our store to get your hands on Reductress Presents: Play the Patriarchy!

There are a ton of adult card games out there that are fun, debauched, and will help everybody loosen up a little at your next gathering. But you know what else would loosen them up? An elaborately planned group sex party, which would be infinitely more fun than literally any card game you could play. Anyway, here are our top picks for your next game night:

Apples to Apples

Apples to Apples spawned a new generation of off-color card games. This classic card-matching game allows players to choose the best-looking match in each round. You know what else would allow players to do that? An elaborate fuck match where all the bottoms in the room get to choose their tops, and then switch over and over again until everybody passes out. This is why you all came to this lake house for the weekend, isn’t it?

Buffalo

This name-dropping game is where players race to identify the people or characters described by two cards as fast as they can (ie. British Wizard = Harry Potter). But you know what’s even more fun and fast-paced? A race to see who will call out the obvious tension in the room before someone dares your ex-coworker Dan to kiss your boyfriend Cory (which is weird because they chose to drive up here together?), then all hell breaks loose.

What’s Yours Like?

This one is a great lead-in to the inevitable: Players have to guess words based off clues after asking the question, “What’s yours like?” This is where everyone will find out how big Cory’s dick is and everyone will come to the mutual conclusion that they are better off having sex than talking about having sex.

F**k the Game

This is fun, no matter how you interpret this. Just remember that you still have one more night of this trip.

If you’re looking for a fun card game for your next gathering, give these a try! Just know that there is no card game in the universe that will be as fun as turning all of your closest platonic relationships into a weird sex thing that everyone will have to process when they sober up. Good luck!