In this modern society we could easily figure out all of the values that are counterproductive. It’s fairly obvious to come to the conclusion that greed is not good and seeking power at all cost is destructive. Especially in this season of Lent, these things are most likely at the fore of our thinking. What about those virtues/sins that are not so obvious? In our modern culture we pretty much pride ourselves on having the ultimate say on: the environment we exist in, where and when we go places, the work we choose to do, how we prefer our food, who our children play with, what kind of people we ourselves spend time with.

In today’s culture it’s all about being in control. We give kudos to those we describe as “having it all together” and view, with a critical eye, those who we perceive don’t. We are so used to making all the rules and parameters as well as constructing perfect families and creating immunity from evil things like disease and misfortune that we simply lose the point as well as the benefit of trusting God. For all of our valiant effort we take less vacation and have more heart disease and cancer than any other civilized nation. What an accomplishment!

In the midst of Lent, then, we consider our “willingness” to give up a piece of chocolate or a cup of coffee as an accomplishment. After all, sacrifice is a matter of control too, isn’t it? No contest. Sacrifice is sacrifice but maybe we have simply cheated ourselves out of a rich spiritual opportunity because we were looking in the wrong direction. The Lenten sacrifice is meant to stir something new in each of us, a different longing than what happens the rest of the year. If we calculate that or believe we are controlling that, we have simply missed the boat. The truth about transformation is that it only happens when we are desperately out of control. That’s a dialog that can only happen deep in our interior. It’s a scary proposition, too. What would life look like if you gave up control and actually consulted God first before you tried to fix things? What would happen if you saw your latest struggle not as punishment or something to “get rid of” as fast as possible? What if your thoughts about faith include the ability to always seek God no matter where you were at, even if it was a terrible situation?

Within a spirituality that leaves us room to grow there must be a component that recognizes that we are never “in control”. That is what creates humility and leads to virtue.

“Another sentiment that should inspire us is that of penance. We should gladly suffer all inflictions as a chastisement well merited by our sins. No matter how ill-treated we may be we should feel that the pain falls far short of what we have deserved. This brings us into a state of true peace. This fits us to exhort and lead our neighbor to the practice of virtue. And this way is far more profitable to us, far more conducive to God’s honor, than all manner of self-chosen devotional or penitential practices” (Father John Tauller, O.P. t1361 mystical theologian).

Nedless to say, this is a tall order and none of us are Dominicans at this point in time. But think about Father Tauller’s point; real penance is how we react to what we don’t control and least expect. So maybe looking for something to “give up” is not where we should be looking as a Lenten exercise, but rather taking a deeper look at self and changing the way that we react to life, for all to see. Now that’s “outta control”.