Being a woman is pretty awesome, but you can’t be this fabulous without there being a catch. Yes, with a great uterus comes great responsibility. I’m talking of course about menstruation and PMS; the monthly event that comes along to remind women that they are a metal warrior who can withstand a barrage of cramps, aches, irritability and the occasional nausea, and yet still kick-ass every day. Not to mention that whole bleeding for 3-9 days thing and not dying. Very metal.

Fortunately, there exists a single plant that can effectively soothe and relieve these menstrual symptoms: marijuana. Yes, weed is truly woman’s best friend.

Cannabis has been shown to be effective at relieving pain, and there’s nothing like a good toke of some heady body-high strains to send the memo to your uterus to chill the fuck out when it’s doing its cramp dance. Medicated creams and salves are another way to go, just rub it in and feel the aches melt away. Bonus: cannabis is well known for relieving nausea, so if you’re a warrior who’s cramps are so hardcore that they can make you sick, look no further than a little weed to put things back in order. You might even end up with the munchies instead!

Are you also feeling a little irritable? Of course you are. Your uterus is raging, angry at you for refusing to procreate this month, it’s only natural to rage right back at it! But you’re a badass, so you’re gonna stand up to your unruly uterus and show it who’s boss. The solution? Cannabis again! The soothing cerebral effects of weed calms the mind and soothes the soul. A potent indica or a happy sativa will both do the trick, switching you from warrior to victor. You are now the champion of your uterus.

Weed doesn’t stop there either. Being this badass all the time can definitely take it out of you. So, not one to do a half ass job, the calming mental effects of marijuana can also relieve feelings of anxiety or depression, giving you the clarity to face this challenge with confidence and ease.

Cannabis has the capacity to act as a cure-all for most menstrual symptoms. Okay, it might not be able to stop the flood, but it’s still our secret weapon in this bloody war. Even the strongest warriors need allies, and lucky for us, ours is weed. What’s more fabulous than that?