What A Girlfriend Can Do For You That No One Else Can? Provide Social Acceptability

Dr. Manginalove has a new post on the Dickless Mangina Project. (Like with most of his other posts, the only comments come from men pointing out everything that is wrong with what Dr. Manginalove says.) Manginalove starts out with the following.

There’s a very common issue I see among guys who’re looking for a girlfriend: they’re just not ready for one yet. Many guys go full-tilt boogie into finding themselves a girlfriend as soon as possible without having laid the emotional groundwork.

Many guys? Try every guy. When guys start looking for a girlfriend, they don’t give a shit about “emotional groundwork”. And why should they? Enough guys are able to get a girlfriend and/or get laid without doing “emotional groundwork”. That proves that this so called “emotional groundwork is completely unnecessary. What Manginalove is trying to do here is invoke the Just World Fallacy and Feminist Time Machine and hope you don’t notice. Unsurprisngly, Manginalove does not define what this “emotional groundwork” is supposed to be because doing so would get many comments from men showing that they are meet whatever criteria Manginalove would come up with. Because of that Manginalove is using circular reasoning trap to say if you have never had a girlfriend, then you have done “emotional groundwork”. The evidence for not having done the “emotional groundwork” is that you have never had a girlfriend. There is no objective criteria anywhere. Thus, we can only conclude that Manginalove is lying. It gets worse from there.

What Do You Expect To Get From A Girlfriend (That You Can’t Get From Anyone Else?)

One of the first things I ask people who are desperate for a relationship is simple: why? “…I thought that was obvious, Doc.” It’s a more important question than you’d think. One of the biggest mistakes that a lot of guys make – especially guys who are socially inexperienced – is that they expect their future girlfriend to be all things to them. They want companionship, emotional intimacy, a helpmate, someone who’ll make them feel special. They want someone who’ll make them want to get up in the morning and that they’ll look forward to seeing at the end of the day. Oh, and blowjobs on the regular. Which is great and all… but the thing that many guys fail to ask is why they’re not getting these already from their other relationships. OK. Maybe not the blowjobs. (Or maybe those too. I’m not judging.) One of the things that tends to kill relationships is the tendency for men to put all their emotional eggs into one particular basket. Thanks to the way that we’re socialized, straight men are taught to try to get all their emotional needs met by their romantic partners.

This is a canard I have seen a lot (which deserves its own article at some point), that the real problem is that dateless men lacking friends. Unless a man is bisexual, this makes no sense, yet we see this canard over and over again. There are aspects of this that involve trying to trick dateless men into homosexuality to get rid of them (which isn’t done as much as it was a couple of decades ago), as seen with Manginalove’s “joke” about blowjobs. However, that is missing the point. First, sexual relationships are by definition more intimate than non-sexual relationships. It’s not unreasonable to have a deeper trust of your girlfriend than just your friends.

Second, and more important, having a girlfriend and having friendships are connected but in the opposite direction that Manginalove says. If you never had a girlfriend, you are in danger of losing friends through no fault of your own. There are men I have been friends with for decades that I have lost as friends as soon as they got a girlfriend. I have talked to and known many other men who experienced the same thing. (All my enemies reading this will say that it’s because of my behavior or some other nonsense. I can prove that wrong since in several cases the girlfriends never met me.) What happened was that their girlfriends didn’t want undesirable single men around. The men go along with this because the girlfriends can provide sex. I can’t. It’s not that having friends makes it easier to find a girlfriend. It’s that having a girlfriend is the only way to keep many of your friends. This is a bigger problem than even that. A lot of social activity takes places only between couples or people who are in couples. Obviously, to be a part of that social activity, you don’t need to be in a couple all the time, but you do need to be in a couple at least in a semi-regular basis. It’s a case of the poor getting poorer and the rich getting richer. Or in this case the dateless getting more dateless. In other words, the only way for a dateless man to stop this downward spiral is to get a girlfriend, any girlfriend.

While there are other answers to the question of what a girlfriend can provide that no one else can, the ultimate and final answer to that question is social acceptability. Without social acceptability men lose their friends, get shut out of social activity, and have more trouble getting a girlfriend in the first place. The only comment to Manginalove’s post makes this clear.

So to sum it up. Another article from DNL about how men always have to change, and be deserving. Not a single word about what women are expected to change. You know what DNL, maybe if women stopped judging men by their lack of previous girlfriends. Then maybe men wouldn’t be so desperate to get girlfriends. I know you grasp this concept perfectly well when it comes to “slut-shaming”. But somehow the shaming that women do seem to be a totally taboo subject to you.

Dateless men get falsely accused of everything from being useless and disorganized (as Manginalove does in his post) to being terrorists in waiting (even though the evidence says the complete opposite). The only way for most men to avoid this fate is to get a girlfriend. Thus, many men are desperate to get a girlfriend. It’s that simple. Since dating advice for men is female centric, it is assumed the only reasons why men pursue women is being horny and entitlement for women’s bodies. While there is truth about the being horny part, the entitlement canard is a total lie. I have talked to lots of dateless men. Not one of them believes they are entitled to women’s bodies. What they want is social acceptability and to not get falsely accused of being a potential terrorist.

Dating advice ignores the issue of social acceptability being tied to having a girlfriend because it makes women look bad and brings up uncomfortable questions about women.