Tips on speeding in the USA

General tips

ALWAYS keep your eyes open. Stay alert! Use your mirrors! I've had some close calls on long trips, when I was tired and not as perceptive. Cops are sneaky, and will drive at night with their lights out, so be sure to look for shadows crossing other cars' head/taillights. Remember, night conditions are not optimal for speeding, since your visibility is significantly impaired!

KNOW YOUR ADVERSARY. Keep an eye out for folded-in search lamps on the driver's side, large American cars (Crown Vics, Caprices) with fat tires/beefier suspensions. Look for extra high-mounted stop lights. Some states have State Troopers driving Mustangs and Corvettes, but these will usually have lightbars on top.

KNOW YOUR TERRAIN. Look down the road and think where a cop with a radar/laser gun will lurk. They like to nab you if you're zooming over the top of a hill, because you can't see the cop until you crest the hill. Wide center dividers with nice grassy areas are also favorite cop haunts. Keep an eye out for tire tracks leading in and out of an area, especially if it's a road you use often. Learn where the cops like to lurk.

FIND A PATSY. There's usually some jerk on the road in a two-door coupe who has a deep-seated need to race everyone on the road. You can use these nimrods to your advantage. When you see one coming up fast behind you, accelerate a bit so that he has to work to get to you. Let him get side-by-side, you should be in the right lane. He's going to work up a little speed to pass you. Slow down a touch and let him shoot ahead. I swear, I've seen guys like this pulled over, while I just fly on past, smiling. (1 Mar 1996 note: Went to Danbury, CT last weekend via 684 Northbound from White Plains. Played this game with a green Grand Cherokee. Needless to say, the guy blew me off at 85 and kept on cruising. 6 minutes or so later, there he was on the side of the road with a state trooper. I don't think he noticed the road to that point had about 3 cruisers between White Plains and Golden Bridge, but I did. That's why my record's clean.)

MAINTAIN SITUATIONAL AWARENESS. This is slightly different than STAY ALERT. You need to keep these tips in your mind all the time if you want to minimize your ticket risk all the time. Always know how fast you are going, how many people are ahead of you, how the road feels, how many cars have been pulled over, how many cops you've seen, etc. Don't speed when you're sipping coffee, talking on the phone, or bopping to music. CONCENTRATE. Cops catch and ticket lots of the unwary and distracted every day. In addition, I would recommend keeping an eye on how your car is situated in relation to oncoming and following traffic. Try and keep your car out of the line of sight of potential trouble in front and behind. This is best done from the right lane. However, be careful not to ride in the blind spot, because people are ALWAYS switching lanes. I also keep track of "vectors": what direction cars are moving at what speed, where and when gaps will open or close between cars, where and when will I be best placed to put the hammer down. Don't forget to watch for 'christmas lights' up ahead: if a whole bunch of folks are hitting the brakes, either they're stupid morons (There's a curve on the Hutch between exits 22 + 24 north where people just slow down for absolutely no reason), or there's enforcement.

no reason), or there's enforcement. DRIVE QUICKLY, NOT RECKLESSLY. The reason we need to be so alert while speeding is because we realise that most speed limits are set artificially low, in order to raise local revenue. However, you should obey the proper safety rules of the road, as well as maintain highway etiquette. These include: wearing seat belts, not tailgating, staying out of the left lane except to pass, etc. Vindictiveness and ego-inflation do not belong on the road. Also, signaling lane changes is VERY important, since it will let others know what you're doing. Uncertainty necessarily keeps speeds down. I'm convinced if everybody followed simple right of way laws all the time, we could easily be averaging 10mph more on the highway.

STEALTH PAYS. A red Porsche will obviously get more attention than a gray Nova. I used to make high speed runs between Buffalo and NYC back in college, driving a battleship grey '77 Chevy Nova. It was totally nondescript, a wonderful V8 speed machine. If you can, try to get a dark car. Black, Navy Blue, Hunting Green are all nice. Cops see brighter colors better, as do most humans. Bright red, white, blue, or green are not wise for speed. Ford's been selling Mustangs in neon yellow, which I would consider probably the most expensive color possible (in terms of police attention)! Also, 4 doors are better than 2. Think BMW 540i, Nissan Maxima, Taurus SHO, Volvo 850 turbowagon. Note: It's been rumored that laser detectors have a hard time working on dark and dirty cars. Cops aim for the license plates (ever wonder why all the states are turning their plates white? VISIBILITY. And like the human eye, the laser detector will sense reflective white best) , so be sure they have a nice layer of diffractive road salt. (13 Mar 1996 note: Keep your car clean! It'll help you see out of the windows, and it'll keep cops from knowing you're not a local..)

What to do when you've seen a cop

SLOW DOWN! The cop will get mighty pissed if (s)he has to chase your perp ass down, so you might as well take it down to the limit. Get in the right lane. The cop might not be after you, but take it easy for a bit, just in case. Better safe than sorry, as they say.

EVADE! If you can, try getting off at an exit. Try hiding behind some 18 wheelers. I've avoided police around Elmira, NY by getting off the road and pulling into a gas station. However, don't try to outrun them, that'll just get you into deeper trouble.

What to do after you've been pulled over

Eventually, even the most conscientious drivers will get pulled over, for whatever reason. Here are some things to remember about your adversary: Have your license and registration ready when they approach your car. Preferably, you have them both together in your wallet or purse.

They've pulled over lots of folks, and have heard all sorts of excuses. They're trained to detect and see through lies. Don't lie to the officer. If the officer asks you how fast you were going, try to be honest. Controversy!: I've been getting notes on this particular point. Some feel that telling the officer that you didn't know how fast you were going will at least indicate that you weren't intentionally breaking the law. However, considering my personal experience, honesty pays: I once told a trooper how fast I was going (passing somebody between 70-75, he clocked me at 73) and I got off. Another time I told the officer that I didn't know how fast I was going, and I got busted. It's really your decision, so do what you feel comfortable doing. This is probably the most hit-or-miss decision in the process, so you're just going to have to gauge it for yourself.

Try to be polite, and definitely be respectful. Remember, these folks put their lives on the line each time they pull somebody over. They can't be sure if it's your registration or a concealed weapon you're leaning over to get. Whatever you might feel about the speed limit, just remember that the trooper's just doing his/her job.

I managed to convince an officer to give me a "failure to obey sign" instead of "25 mph over the limit" ticket after having been pulled over (while passing somebody). Considering that I'm under 25, single, and male, I have more incentive than anyone to keep points off my license. So far, I've managed to keep it at two non-speeding points in the last 5 years. Also, we may not have long to worry about this: the Feds have stopped holding the states hostage with their highway budget strings! Let's hope that our elected officials have the guts to do their job and listen to the people!





Speed Safely!

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Please send all comments/question/gripes/recipes/speeding tips to Mathew Hennessy (hennessy@cloud9.net)