SHANGHAI—Proving to be just as flimsy and precarious as many observers had previously warned, the Chinese-made Shanghai Composite index completely collapsed Monday, sources confirmed. “Sure, it looked fine from the outside, but anybody who saw it up close knew that it was of such poor quality that it wasn’t built to last,” said Allen Sigman of the London School of Economics, adding that the stock market, which he described as a crude knockoff of Western versions, was practically slapped together overnight and featured countless obvious structural weak points. “They pretty much ignored regulations, and inspections were a joke. The only surprise is that it didn’t fall apart sooner.” Sigman added that he just hopes there weren’t too many people who were hurt in the disaster.

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