I’m going to keep this short and sweet because it’s Friday and this week has already been about five days too long: BuzzFeed has revealed that Donald Trump appeared in a softcore pornography film released in the year 2000 by Playboy.

I’ll answer the two questions that you/everyone have about this.

1. No, he was not recorded naked and/or doin’ it. BuzzFeed says that his role in the film is “relatively benign and centers around breaking a bottle of champagne on a Playboy-branded limo.”

2. Yes, the film’s plot is about women named “Carol and Darlene” who “bare their sex appeal and lead you on a sensual journey of discovery.”

Trump, of course, just this morning complained that former Venezuelan beauty queen Alicia Machado was “disgusting” for having appeared in a raunchy scene on a Spanish reality show.

Can you believe this freakin’ guy? No, you cannot. One simply cannot believe this freakin’ guy.