Hillary’s hilarious ‘Herstory’ (column)

Jerry Shenk | jshenk2010@gmail.com

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In May, a New York Magazine feature quoted (unemployed) Hillary Clinton: "I beat both of them."

Not quite. In a rigged primary, Clinton outlasted Bernie Sanders, who’s not even a Democrat, but, by an Electoral College vote of 304 to 227, lost to President Donald Trump -- decisively.

Hillary and her surrogates in the partisan national media relentlessly hurled insults at candidate Trump, nevertheless, “sure thing” Hillary became a two-time loser.

In a rare candid CNN moment, David Axelrod, campaign manager and advisor to former President Barack Obama, dismissed Hillary’s excuses: "…it takes a lot of work to lose to Donald Trump."

Axelrod: “[FBI Director] Jim Comey didn't tell [Hillary] not to campaign in Wisconsin... Comey didn't say, 'Don't put any resources into Michigan until the final week of the campaign.' One of the things that hindered her…was a sense that she never…[took] responsibility for her mistakes, particularly that server."

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Astonishingly, elitist Hillary took working-class white voters for granted, lumped them with Trump, declared them “deplorables” and made little effort to appeal to them.

Axelrod advised Hillary to “move on,” as did former Clinton aides.

She won’t, though (Google: “Harold Stassen”).

Displaying a comical lack of self-awareness, also in May, Hillary, Class of ’69, spoke at Wellesley College’s commencement, telling graduates, “You are graduating at a time when there is a full-fledged assault on truth and reason.”

Laughably, Hillary -- who once claimed poor eyesight prevented her post-graduate Marine Corps enlistment, said she was “dead broke” when leaving the White House and came under sniper fire in Tuzla, swore her server wasn’t hacked, that she made no attempts at concealment and was never subpoenaed for anything – accused others of lying.

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Hillary told graduates, falsely, that Richard Nixon’s presidency ended “in disgrace with his impeachment for obstruction of justice.” Nixon wasn’t impeached, but Hillary’s husband was – for obstruction of justice. The irony is especially amusing since, unlike Bill, Nixon had enough residual character and the good grace to resign.

To relieve their disappointment, Hillary’s cultists persist, chanting, “Trump is not my president.” But, we all can say with absolute certainty that Hillary isn’t anybody’s.

There’s now a hallucinatory (parodic?) website called Hillary Beat Trump that her fans can visit to pretend she won. Declaring that Hillary Clinton defeated Donald Trump, the website calls itself “News from the Real America, where the majority rules.”

Featuring headlines such as “After first 100 days, Clinton's approval rating soars to 91 percent” and “Historians say Clinton’s presidency is already in ‘all-time top 5,’” the site allows despondent progressives to emotionally transport themselves to an illusory, presumably comforting alternate political universe.

The website whines, “Long live the true president, Hillary Rodham Clinton.” It’s all nonsense, of course.

Even as bitter-enders at CNN and MSNBC fawn over a new “Feisty” Hillary “Finding Her Groove” and “Taking Down” President Trump, there’s a nagging sense of déjà vu: In twenty-five years, ultimately, all of the “New Hillarys” have been exposed as the same old unappealing Hillary.