BY Stephen A. Smiff

Missing Skip Bayless

PISCATAWAY—The Rutgers men’s basketball team is off to a surprising 6-0 start, something new head coach Steve Pikiell is beginning to regret.

“I thought it would be good to win all these games against bad teams,” said a somber Pikiell at a recent practice. “But then I saw our upcoming schedule and remembered we play in the Big Ten. Then I looked around and realized people are putting faith in us, thinking we can make up for our football team’s disgraceful performance. I’m so sorry for what’s about to happen.”

Rutgers has yet to play a quality opponent. The team’s last win was a 77-75 victory over Hartford at home. Next, Rutgers goes down to Florida to play Miami. Eventually, the team will have to play Wisconsin, Indiana, Maryland and Purdue, all ranked teams. Things can only get worse.

“I mean we want to win, but we don’t want our fans to go through the agony of realizing we’re actually not that good,” said second-year guard Corey Sanders. “Nobody on the team wants to let anyone down, but now that’s unavoidable. Sorry everyone.”

Over the last two seasons, Rutgers went 22-43 under head coach Eddie Jordan, who led the team to an embarrassing 2-16 in-conference record last year. However, with the Rutgers football team having just finished a 2-10 season, most are turning to basketball for solace, even though Rutgers sports high-achieving wrestling and girl’s soccer teams.

Players, coaches, trainers and everyone else associated with the team are continuing to downplay their solid start and are stressing patience upon their fans, but it is already too late.