Stalk You Forever

I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always.

As long as I'm living,

My baby you'll be.

I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always.

It puts the lotion on it's skin

Or else it gets the hose again.

As a lead up to the fan pack, I've decided to go with a special theme for the next few posts.That theme is the socio-economic influences that lead to disparages between people of different nations.I'm kidding.The theme this time is "What. The. Hell?"I dedicate this week to all those little things that are just too messed up to even think about. All those little moments that make you wonder if evolution is all it's cracked up to be.I was trying to decide on a theme when my wife suggested I read a book to our daughter. She handed me a book called "Love You Forever."Anyone who has read this book probably already knows where I'm going with this.The book starts out very sweetly. It's a mother telling her baby son how she'll love him forever.Hence the title.She goes through the usual trials that all parents experience, but through it all, she still loves her child.Awwww.As he grows a little older, she still takes the time to go in his room each night and cuddle him.Isn't that sweet?She just loves her little boy so much that she sneaks in each night to tell him that she'll love him forever.My daughter smiled at this picture and I realized that this was a very nice book.Wait a second... What the hell?This is where the book turned creepy.The mother continues to sneak into her son's room when he's a TEENAGER.A TEENAGER.She sneaks in, picks up her TEENAGE son, and cradles him.Yeah.But still, you could probably get past this. She just really loves her son and she likes to cuddle him while he sleeps.I guess that's not THAT creepy.Besides, just a few years later, the young boy becomes a man and moves away from home. Her boy grown up and living on the other side of town, the mother has to say goodbye to the child she loves.Or not.Yes, that is a picture of the mother sitting in her son's bed and rocking him back and forth.Her grown son.What.The.Hell?And yes, that's an open window and a ladder in the background.Apparently, mothers are willing to do anything for their children.Including breaking and entering.What is wrong with this freakin' book?This is like the prequel for the movie "Psycho".This shit is creepy.But as weird as that last picture is, there's one that messes me up even worse.This is a picture of the mother driving across town in the middle of the night with a ladder strapped to the roof of her car.Think about that.I...I just...There are no words.This little old lady ties a ladder to the roof of her car and then drives to her sons house to break in and rock him in his sleep.She even ties a red cloth on the back of the ladder.Wouldn't want to break traffic laws on your way to break into your son's house to possibly scar him forever.I just can't get this picture out of my head. Long after my daughter had toddled away to play, I sat there staring at this picture.That shit is frightening.You'd think this book wouldn't be very popular.Hell no.People LOVE this damned book.What the hell is wrong with people?This book is one page away from being an episode of CSI.And yet, this is one of the most highly recommended children's books in the world.I think this is actually number 7 on the list.Number 8 is The Silence of the Lambs.Tonight as you fall asleep, try not to think about your elderly mother creeping in through your window and cradling your unconscious body.Good luck getting to sleep.