I am a big fatty. This is the one area where Internet criticism of me is correct.

Now, I am not exactly morbidly obese, but I am fat enough to worry about things that fat people worry about, like clothes. The world has not wanted to see fat people naked since the Renaissance, so we are pretty much forced by our fascist society to wear something. I can barely call them "clothes," however, as much of what's been available for the full-figured woman could better be defined as tents, or period costumes, or tablecloths with neck holes cut in the middle.



A sample of the hot fashions often available to the overweight.

Note how a muumuu can make even a skinny woman look fat.

You might think, Well, serves you right for being fat, fatty. Lose some weight if you want to wear nice clothes. Sure, Americans in particular should probably take some responsibility for their weight, but does it benefit any of us, fat or thin, to see that sweater or those floral prints coming down the street at us?

Fortunately, this seems to have gotten through to many clothing designers in the last few years, who have started coughing up clothing lines for the specially-sized. Unfortunately, this "victory" actually just opens up stage two of the "finding clothes even though you are overweight" game. Stage two involves navigating the maze of stupid euphemisms to figure out where all these new plus-sized clothes are.

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