Bruce Jenner speaks: 'I am a woman'

Maria Puente | USA TODAY

Show Caption Hide Caption Bruce Jenner speaks: 'I am a woman' Reality TV star and former Olympian Bruce Jenner spoke about his male-to-female transition for the first time with ABC's Diane Sawyer and said he is a woman.



Finally, America has heard it from Bruce Jenner's own mouth, in a long-teased, two-hour interview with ABC's Diane Sawyer Friday night: The former Olympic gold-medal decathlete-turned-Kardashian-clan-reality star is transitioning to a woman, at age 65.

"For all intents and purposes, I am a woman...I was not genetically born that way and as of now I have all the male parts... But I still identify as female. It's very hard for Bruce Jenner to say that. Why? Because I don't want to disappoint people," he told Sawyer.

After months of rumors and leaks, predatory paparazzi and mocking tabloid headlines,Jenner acknowledged what mother Esther Jenner had confirmed and what fans have been wondering about for months.

Grabbing a tissue, sometimes tearing up, he said God decided to give him something to deal with, so he got "the soul of a female."

"I'm not a girl in guy's body, I hate that, I am a person, it's who I am," he said. "My brain is much more female than it is male. It's hard for people to understand but that's what my soul is."

Also, he says, being transgender is not the same as being gay. "I'm not gay," he said. Later, Sawyer said he preferred to use the male pronoun when referring to himself, at least for now.

He told Sawyer it was important to "keep a sense of humor," laughing at the irony that super-athlete Bruce Jenner, of all people, would be changing his gender.

But for years, Jenner said, he's been living a lie. "I lived a lie my whole life and I can't do that any longer," he said. "Let's take the damn ponytail out," as he let his long hair loose.

Later in the interview, Jenner asks himself the question, are you going to be OK?, and answers it: " Yeah, I hope I'm going to be OK. I feel like I'm going to be OK," he says. "2015 is going to be quite a ride. Quite a ride."

It's not a publicity stunt for reality TV, he said, rejecting the claims of some critics.

"Would I go through a gender change and do all you need to do for that, for the show?" he snorts. "Have you any idea what I've been going through all my life, and I'm doing it for publicity for a show? Oh my God."

Still, he says his connection to the Kardashians allows him to have an impact on the larger culture by going public with his transition.

"What I'm doing is going to do some good," he says firmly. "We're going to change the world, we're going to make a difference in the world. If the Kardashian show gave me a way to do that, I'm all for it."

Jenner's family — a sprawling tribe that includes three ex-wives, six children and four stepchildren, and seven grandchildren — has been coping with the transformation for some time.

Jenner said in the interview that a top priority is protecting them, not "hurting" them.

But he was aware of the unknown irony of the reality show.

"We've done 425 episodes over almost eight years, and the entire run, I kept thinking to myself, oh my God, the one real true story in the family was the one I was hiding and nobody knew about," he said. "The one thing that could make a difference to people's lives was right here in my soul and I could not tell that story."

He said his third wife, Kris Kardashian Jenner, knew he dressed up in women's clothes occasionally but did not know that he felt female in his soul. His decision to transition was "tough on her," but he had "no complaints" about her.

"Kris is a good woman, a good person, I have no complaints with her," he said. "If she had understood, we'd probably be still together."

After the interview, she tweeted support, as did her Kardashian daughters.

He said he first told his secret in the 1980s to his older sister, Pam, whose clothes he used to try on secretly when they were kids. He took initial steps at transition back then, but halted it because he was afraid of hurting his kids.

Throughout the interview, Jenner occasionally wept but often joked. He wasn't open about everything: He did not disclose the female name he will use, and did not say whether he would marry again or if he would marry a man or a woman. He did, however, show Sawyer his closet of female clothing, including a chic black minidress.

He did not discuss details of sex reassignment surgery, which is still far off anyway, he said. And what about sex?

"That's so far down the road," he said. In the future, he said, "I want a free soul, and a lot of great friends. I just want a great life, it's that simple... Let's go with asexual for now. "

Before the interview, some of his relatives posted supportive messages on social media, including his second wife, Linda Thompson.

Sawyer interviewed Jenner's four oldest children, all of whom attested to their support and their admiration for his "bravery." What do they call him?

"Call me dad, I will always be your dad," daughter Cassandra Marino said he told them. Oldest son Burt described him saying,"I'm not trying to dress like a woman, I've spent my whole life dressing like a man."

Stepdaughter Kim Kardashian, the most famous of the family, spoke up for Bruce at an awards luncheon in New York hours before the interview.

"We always support each other," she said of the clan. "Our family is super supportive of everything that we do and you know we're gonna watch the special tonight and support Bruce and watch it with him tonight."

Jenner said stepdaughter Khloe Kardashian is having the hardest time with the change. His youngest daughters are worried about their dad being hurt. But Kim has been the most accepting and easiest to talk to, he said, after talking it over with husband Kanye West, who told her he couldn't live without being "true to myself."

But as a fashionista, Kim had a warning for him: "If you're going to do this, you gotta rock it, baby, you gotta look good, you're representing the family," Jenner laughed.

Although she didn't interview them, his Kardashian stepchildren gave Sawyer a quote supporting Jenner, saying, "If he's happy, we're happy."

Sawyer, in her biggest "get" interview since stepping down from the anchor desk last year, was generally careful in her questions.The interview was taped in February, before Jenner was involved in a multi-car crash near his Malibu home that resulted in one woman's death, which Sawyer said Jenner described as devastating.

Jenner's intentions has been the topic of increasingly more frenzied speculation since last year, when paparazzi began documenting his altered appearance and unsourced stories about his surgeries (shaved Adam's apple) and fashion touches (painted nails) began appearing in celebrity media.

At the same time, in the larger culture, transgender people, TV shows and films were gaining attention and acclaim. Whereas most Americans could say they know someone who is gay, most still cannot say they know someone who is trans.

But millions can say they know Jenner, first as a gold-medal winning decathlete at the 1976 Olympics who went on to become a popular actor and celebrity spokesperson. That culminated in mega-stardom as the somewhat befuddled dad, married to momager Kris Kardashian Jenner, in the Keeping Up With the Kardashians reality show.

Now that Jenner is officially out about transitioning, America's growing transgender community hopes Jenner helps make trans Americans more acceptable, less alien.

Sawyer reminded Jenner that some transgender activists worry that the circus that usually surrounds the Kardashians might somehow derail their recent gains.

"I sure hope not," Jenner said. "I'm not a spokesperson for this community but I want to work with them. I would like to think we could fix some lives here."

Sawyer also elicited the admission that Jenner considers himself a conservative Republican. "Anything wrong with that?" he asked. He also said he thinks he could persuade GOP leaders to be more accepting of rights for trans people.

In church, he said, he used to think God put him on earth for this mission. "It gave me a lot of courage," he said.

But he was generally optimistic, saying goodbye only to people's perceptions of him, "not saying goodbye to me."

"If this is the only problem I have in life, I've got it made. If it's only this, I'll be OK."

