Jerry Jones has a lot going on right now (*Author’s note: when doesn’t he?). What with his starting QB out for the next couple months, his best WR in a similar situation, and Jason Witten battling off every injury a human being can sustain and remain upright, he’s got a lot on his plate.

And in 2015, when we have a lot going on in a highly publicized manner, what’s the way we keep in contact with one another? Text messages. So, with that in mind, No Coast Bias was able to utilize our highly sophisticated team of hackers to worm their way into Jerry’s cellphone and get us some screenshots of his text messages. Here they are for your shock and enjoyment.

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