These last few weeks in the United States of America have shown the undying spirit of us University of North Texas students, as we have seen through my colleagues' past petitions for REDUCED TUITION, PARKING PASS REFUNDS, and PASS/FAIL classes for this semester.

While my comrades in arms, textbook arms, to be precise, have moved in the right direction with these effective petitions, they have NOT GONE FAR ENOUGH.

Without giving away free puppies to students at the University of North Texas, it's impossible to attack the root of the problem that comes from this pandemic: the emotional destruction that it's caused for students unable to EAT KERR'S DELECTABLE KALE, SLURP ON, or BUY OVERPRICED CHICK-FIL-A at the University Union. With these essential HUMAN RIGHTS being taken away from nearly every student attending North Texas, students are left emotionally VULNERABLE in a time when VULNERABILITY CAUSES DEATH! (by corona!)

One of the only solutions that remain for students affected by this crisis is receiving FREE PUPPIES, or cats for allergic students, and then adding free money and housing on top of that. If you deny these rights, you stand on the side of OPPRESSORS in the history of UNT!

Any student who is unfortunate enough to be affected by this crisis in one way or another deserves these REPARATIONS! The time for UNT to recognize these HUMAN RIGHTS has come, and by signing this petition, you show UNT that their quite literal TORTURE of students through denial of these services is NOT OKAY!

GIVE EVERY STUDENT A FREE STIPEND OF $1,000, A HOUSING CREDIT WORTH A MINIMUM VALUE OF $2,500, AND A FREE PUPPY (OR CAT).