Date of Visit: Monday 27/08/18

Stadium Structures

If Kevin McCloud of ‘Grand Designs’ were to visit the Dripping Pan, he would probably describe it as “a charming blend of period features and modern innovation.” (This is your cue to reach for the remote to see what’s on the other side.) The wall that runs around the top of the steep grass bank is listed; it lends an old-fashioned air to the ground.

Perhaps the best feature of the Pan is the undulating translucent cover over the Philcox Stand behind the goal. It’s great to see a stadium feature that is modern and functional, but looks different to all the identical non-league grounds that have emerged in recent times, as if built from a LEGO set. The Philcox Stand also incorporates a nice little bar.

The beach huts are certainly unique. They might benefit from a wash – but then, we all would.

The uncovered concrete terrace behind the other goal was well-maintained. A toilet at that end would have been handy – indeed, it would be expected from a ground that once hosted Conference Premier football – but we didn’t see one. On the other hand, your correspondent may have been too distracted by the game (or too bladdered) to spot it.

Score: 7 / 10

The Pitch

At Bognor, we’ve always been proud of our playing surface; sometimes our immaculate pitch has been the only good feature of entire seasons.

The pitch at the Pan has sometimes been noticeably sub-par for this level of the game, but this year it was almost perfect, with no noticeable divots. This allowed both teams to pass the ball and contributed to the end-to-end quality of the match. It must be tricky to produce a decent pitch below street level, so respect should go to the ground staff for pulling it off.

Score: 8 / 10

Refreshments

There was a short wait for our burgers – perhaps due to our absurdly early arrival time – but they were absolutely delicious. A fiver for a substantial burger, tasty tomato, a few elegant crescents of red onion, and a slice of Monterrey Jack cheese, all held together in a brioche bun. Nigella Lawson would have been purring. Best food I’ve had at a football ground at any level.

The local beers and ales from the bar were also very good.

Score: 9 / 10

Staff and Stewards

Eleven quid for entry was acceptable. Mind you, it took us a little while to pass the turnstile because they didn’t have any change. No change! Call yourselves a progressive club! Barack Obama would be furious!

We miss you, Mr President.

One wonders if this strange scarcity of coinage might owe something to the digitisation of the programme. (Just as an aside – we think a digital programme is a good idea.)

Still, we gained entry. The bar and food staff were pleasant. The stewards were pleasingly inconspicuous, and organised themselves professionally before the ground filled.

Score: 6 / 10

OVERALL SCORE: 30/40. This has always been one of the best grounds at this level. You might say it’s dripping with character!