Woman: There’s still a long way to go to achieve equality.

Dude: Not true! A woman was mean to me once.

Woman: That’s not what —

Dude: SO MEAN

drawing by Matt Lubchansky

Dude: Pretty sure you have more rights than us.

Woman: What rights?

Dude: You know, the rights. All of them. I HAVE TO DIE IN WAR

Woman: Well, for starters, there’s the wage gap.

Dude: It’s not real. Look at this chart I made.

Woman: But studies show —

Dude: CAN’T HEAR YOU, CHART

Woman: What about rape? One in five women are sexually assaulted.

Dude: Ehh, pretty sure they’re just saying that for the money.

Woman: What?

Dude: That sweet rape money

drawing by Matt Lubchansky

Woman: I just want to be left alone when I walk down the street.

Dude: THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER WAY FOR ME TO INTERACT WITH A WOMAN

drawing by Matt Lubchansky

Woman: Let’s talk about consent.

Dude: What does “consent” mean? What do words mean? “Yes?” “No?” What does anything mean? I’m not a word genius.

Woman: We need to work together to prevent rape.

Dude: If you really cared about rape you’d go stop rape in Somalia.

Woman: But —

Dude: SOMALIA

Woman: Rape needs to stop!

Dude: Look, rapists be rapin’. Nothing to be done about it. It’s the rape robots.

Woman: What? No, I don’t —

Dude: RAPE ROBOTS

Dude: Your fight to stop rape and abuse is dumb.

Woman: Go away.

Dude: This is why nobody likes feminists, you don’t like to debate.