NICK Cummins is the most Australian man on the planet.

Really. We don’t care how many Southern Cross tattoos you have. You can’t compete with this bloke.

The Honey Badger, as he’s called, is a winger for the Wallabies and the Western Force. We thought we’d celebrate the start of the rugby season by sifting back through some of the Badger’s most indecipherably Australian quotes.

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Here’s a taste of what we’re talking about. A few years ago, Cummins explained how he got his nickname.

“One of the stories that inspires me is that it is documented that a honey badger killed a lion in a one-on-one,” he said.

“What happened was that he clawed the canastas off the big fella. He just went one-two on the ball bag, and the big fella has walked around the corner and fell over ... That, to me, is outstanding.”

As you can see, the Badger really needs to walk around with a professional translator. In that spirit, we’ve collected his best quotes and turned them into something resembling English.

QUOTE: “You gave a lot of pill to the Badge ... which was good of you.”

TRANSLATION: “You passed the ball to me several times ... that was very considerate.”

QUOTE: “The boys were on it like seagulls at a tip.”

TRANSLATION: “My colleagues displayed exceptional enthusiasm.”

QUOTE: “Sweatin’ like a gypsy with a mortgage, actually.”

TRANSLATION: “He was perspiring in a manner comparable to that of a poor individual who owes a great debt.”

QUOTE: “I just saw the line, pinned me ears back and ended up bagging a bit of meat in the corner there, which was tops!”

TRANSLATION: “I caught sight of the tryline, accelerated to the very limit of my ability and managed to score, which was pleasing.”

QUOTE: “Lucky for me every bugger fell over and I got a gig.”

TRANSLATION: “I was selected in this team because several of my colleagues were injured. That was fortunate for me.”

QUOTE: “My old man woke me up in the morning. He was going off like a bag of cats.”

TRANSLATION: “Father woke me up in the morning. He was rather excited.”

QUOTE: “Last year was a bit, uh, how you goin’, but um, nah we’re good now.”

TRANSLATION: “Our standard of play was below par last year, but we will do better this time.”

QUOTE: “Yeah mate, it’s bloody outstanding, you know. That bloody sea of blue, just gets right up ya and gives ya the strength.”

TRANSLATION: “My friend, it’s lovely to compete at one’s home stadium. Those blue-clad spectators inspire one to play well.”

QUOTE: “If I end up gettin’ a gig, mate I’ll be going off like a cut snake.”

TRANSLATION: “Should the coaching staff permit me to play, I will be most excited.”

QUOTE: “Yeah look, there’s a couple of big hooahs getting about.”

TRANSLATION: “Our team boasts several extremely large men.”

QUOTE: “You’re as tough as woodpecker lips.”

TRANSLATION: “You’re a rather hardy fellow.”

QUOTE: “Yeah mate I bloody was like a rat up a drainpipe in one of them runs there.”

TRANSLATION: “I ran particularly fast in one instance.”

QUOTE: “He was huffin’ and puffin’ and, mate he did well, he always does, he’s a tough rooster.”

TRANSLATION: “My colleague was breathing heavily, but he persevered. He always does, he is very hardy.”

QUOTE: “Got a couple of knocks and a whack on the schnoz.”

TRANSLATION: “I sustained two blows, in addition to a particularly firm strike which connected with my nose.”

QUOTE: “Mate we’re just more focused on treading softly and carrying a big stick.”

TRANSLATION: “My colleagues and I intend to remain verbally humble while comfortably outplaying our opponents.”

QUOTE: “Holy tomorrow. How good? Bloody, you beauty.”

TRANSLATION: “Excellent.”

QUOTE: “I’m gonna have a truckload of pudding and uh, old mum’s good on the cook too so, dad’s got the tucker ready over there and mum and dad are gonna work together and form a massive feed and err, I’m gonna come in and dominate it.”

TRANSLATION: “I will eat a large volume of pudding. Mother is competent at the culinary art as well. Father has the food ready over there; the two of them shall combine their talents to create a meal of sufficiently impressive proportions, and then I shall devour it.”

Reckon you’re more Australian than the Honey Badger? Prove it: @SamClench | @nckcmmns | @newscomauHQ