Suppose you’re a Republican. Since you’re reading The Times, suppose hard.

The White House and both houses of Congress are yours. So are 34 governorships, matching a 1922 party record. The Republican Party has complete control of state government in 26 states, and full legislative control in 32 states. Next year, Senate Democrats will have to defend 25 seats. Just eight Republican incumbents are up for re-election. The Supreme Court retains a conservative majority. The Dow keeps hitting record highs, and the economy is finally growing above the 3 percent mark. The prospect of Donald Trump being removed from office? See above. The prospect of Trump inflicting permanent brain damage on Democrats? Outstanding.

Liberal strategists used to write optimistic books with such titles as “The Emerging Democratic Majority.” The Republican rebuttal could be called “What, Me Worry?” with a foreword from Alfred E. Neuman.

So why is your party in such obvious disarray? Why can’t it pass its signature bills? Why can’t your congressional leaders control their caucuses? Why can’t an incumbent Republican senator publicly endorsed by an incumbent Republican president win his primary battle against his nutty opponent?

Maybe you’re tempted to answer that all would be well if only the party hadn’t been stabbed in the back by a handful of self-infatuated G.O.P. moderates — read John McCain and Susan Collins — supposedly more concerned about their reputation on the Sunday talk show circuit than with the welfare of their constituents back home. Welcome to the Dolchstoßlegende, 2017 edition.