Art by Mike and Laura Allred

Name : Doop

: Doop Code Names : Doop

: Doop First Appearance: X-Force #116 (July ’01)

X-Force #116 (July ’01) Powers : Is there anything he can’t do?

: Is there anything he can’t do? Teams Affiliation: X-Force, X-Statix, X-Men

About

Comics are weird. No, weird isn’t a descriptive enough word. Some comics are gritty, straightforward, planted firmly in reality. Some are epic tales of gods, monsters, swords and sorcery. Others are vibrant sci-fi adventures with roguish heroes and dastardly villains. Others still are stories of hope, the importance of a single man who decides to make a difference in the world. What shared universe superhero comics allow is the synthesis, the blending of these ideas into one world. In that world, Grant Morrison can relaunch X-Men as a sensible subculture of mutants protecting a world much like our own. And at the same time, in the same franchise, in the same line, you can have Peter Milligan and Mike Allred introduce their pop art skewering of reality TV celebrity culture. This bizarre, paradoxical world is the only place Doop could exist, and we are all better for it.

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No one is quite sure where Doop came from. Some say he was created by the US government at the height of the Cold War to combat the Communist menace. Others say acclaimed Swedish filmmaker Ingmar Bergman drew in the margins of his script for The Seventh Seal and he was willed into being. The exact mechanism of his creation didn’t much matter, Doop simply was. He left home at a young age to practice his art, documentary filmmaking and was met with critical acclaim. He took many lovers, saying both male and female would be too restrictive for Doop, and met many friends, including a close bond with Wolverine, but he wasn’t fulfilled. He therapist encouraged him to broaden his horizons past the arty, European documentaries he was making and set his sights on Hollywood.

Art by Federico Santagati and Laura Allred

After a messy affair on a casting couch, Doop got a job documenting the adventures of the new X-Force. It was a cultural sensation. The team showed what happens when superheroes stop being polite and start getting real, and audiences ate it up. Merchandise adorned with Doop’s image flew off the shelves. Doop plushies were the hot toy at Christmas. As long as Doop kept the camera rolling, his residuals kept rolling in too. Doop was there recording everything when X-Force shocked the world. An attempt to save the pop group Boyz R Us went south and Doop, U-Go Girl, and the rookie Anarchist were the only surviving members of the team.

Art by Mike and Laura Allred

Doop stayed behind the camera to chronical the misadventures of this new team. He was drawn into the action when he popped a pimple on his head that sucked the members of X-Force into the mind of Doop. He dove into the cavity in his own body to rescue his cash cows from the nightmares that lurked in the mind of Doop. The mind of Doop is hard to put into words. It is absurdist, post-modern, cartoony and it is both all and none of those things at the same time. It was truly a world unlike any other.

Art by Mike and Laura Allred

Doop continued his filming as X-Force became X-Statix. He opened Doop Kiddies Hospital and got rid of the bodies that X-Statix happened to accumulate. He teamed up with his old buddy Wolverine to go on a noir caper and added drama to X-Statix by leaking an incriminating tape featuring El Guapo. Russian terrorist captured Doop and used his brain attack X-Statix. This drew the attention of The Avengers whose intervention caused pieces of the mind of Doop to be spread across the globe. Doop survived thanks to the backup brain in his butt and X-Statix battled the Avengers for the pieces of his brain. Doop himself got in on the action, battling Thor to a standstill. X-Statix restored their friend but the team decided to close up shop. Some say they were killed in a hail of gunfire, others say they simply retreated into the margins to be forgotten. Whatever the case, the X-Statix were no more.

Art by Mike and Laura Allred

Polaris claimed to see a creature who looked like Doop. A creature known as Daap who never spoke a word, but it was a difficult thing to verify. When the island nation of Utopia was formed, Wolverine dreamed that his lost friend oversaw enforcement of the law. Or perhaps Doop dreamed of that dream. Regardless, Wolverine enlisted Doop to work at the Jean Grey School. The faculty often questioned his role there, as well as his subversive lifestyle, but Logan knew the reason. Seducing the members of the school board or battling Satan himself with the power of funk, Doop was the school’s protector. If the League of Nazi Bowlers wanted to attack, he would strike before they could. If an alien invasion needed thwarting, he would team up with Howard the Duck to push them back. He was the hero that Westchester needed, but not the one it deserved. He was a silent guardian, a watchful protector, the Doop knight.

Art by Mike and Laura Allred

During his tenure at the school, the original five X-Men were brought to the present. This made a lot of people very angry and was widely regarded as a bad move. In the midst of the X-Men trying to send them back to their own timeline, Doop confessed his love to their mentor, Kitty Pryde. He floated down on one knee and presented her with a ring made of rancid meat. She was confused, disgusted, and intrigued. To prove his love, Doop took Kitty to his home. It was the place between panels, the margins of the book, the world that begins where the story stops, it was Doopspace. They ate at Chateau Du Armpit Hair, watched The Cinema of Emptiness, and played games at the carnival of chaos. He asked Kitty to be irrational, to feel with her heart and not think about it. Doop let Kitty return to the story and stayed in the margins where he discovered that a future version of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants had infiltrated the X-Men. He darted into action but was held back when Raze threatened to reveal a dark secret he learned from Doop’s mother.

Art by David Lafuente and Laura Allred

Doop was faced with his greatest fear, but after a pep talk, he decided to face Mama Doop and finally understand his past. Now Doop had long subscribed to the belief that he was created when Ingmar Bergman scribbled in the margins of his script for The Seventh Seal, but the truth was that Bergman didn’t create him. Mama Doop blamed Doop’s creation on Papa Doop leaving their family, she told him that he ruined their marriage and he couldn’t argue because he had never seen his parent together. The truth sent Doop into a mental breakdown that was only stopped by his buddy Wolverine defeating Mama Doop and getting the actual truth from her. She revealed that Doop came from a race of asexually reproducing hermaphrodites, Mama Doop and Papa Doop were one in the same.

He and Kitty had a heart to heart about the revelation and Doop rescinded his offer of marriage. Kitty tried to talk him back into it but Doop revealed his grand gambit. Doop really just wanted to help Kitty make a decision she never thought she could. Kitty didn’t want the original X-Men to go back, not if it wasn’t on their own terms. Kitty stood against the school she loved and the friends she cherished to help her X-Men. And Doop? Doop returned to the margins where he remains today.

Art by Duncan Fegredo

Must Read

There are two issues to sum up the mystery that is Doop. One is a silent issue of X-Force that revels in the pop art absurdity that built the character and the other is a day in the life of the X-Men’s floating green potato. Wolverine & the X-Men #17 is a respite from the chaos of Avengers Vs X-Men tie-ins, simply showing what Doop does at the school. With beautiful art by creator Mike Allred, and Jason Aaron writing his peak zany goodness, it is a fantastic one shot that is worth the time.

Ary by Mike and Laura Allred

Ranking

I am going to upset people with how high Doop is going to go. The more I read and researched for this article, the more I remembered how much I love Doop. He is an X-Men character unlike any other. He is the absurdity of Mister Mxyzptlk combined with the marking potential of Slimer. He is a statement of intent for the X-Statix era and a continuing reminder to not try and make sense about X-Men. I think the closest character on the list to Doop is Dr. Nemesis and I get more excited by seeing Doop float around in the background. Psylocke is probably a better written character than Doop but I don’t think Old Man Logan is even close. That makes Doop the new number 8 in the Xavier Files.

Doop was requested by /u/RussisanOkayGuy and others. Thank you for the request. If you have a request for how about you send it below? If you want to cut to the front of the two-year long line, we have a Patreon you can support Xavier Files for just $1 to get a line cutting reward.

Click here if you want to see the full ranked list, with links to every entry in the Xavier Files so far.

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Next week I guess it is Shatterstar!

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