Am I missing anything, or is “homonationalist” just a derogatory way of saying “gay/bi person who sees their identity as compatible with mainstream values/capitalism/liberalism”?

Because if so, I am really really bothered that people who think everyone ought to see their identity as incompatible with mainstream values specifically went out of their way to come up with a word for gay people who fail to do that.

If you want to come up with derogatory slurs for people who think of their “identities, and relationships … as not only compatible with but even exemplary of neoliberal democratic ethics and citizenships” fine. But if you specifically need a word for gay people who do that, because gay people are a suspect special class that we can’t engage with the way we engage with anyone else, and they need extra policing for Cause Traitors lurking among them…, then your ‘radical queer’ praxis has horseshoed right around to look like the far-right.