Just So You Know: Voting Democratic Places the Eternal Salvation of Your Soul In Serious Jeopardy

Not that there's anything wrong with it, but the Roman Catholic Bishop of Springfield, Illinois, warns that Democrats have endorsed “intrinsic evils” like abortion rights and marriage equality whose support will lead you to the fires of hell - though, obviously, "my job is not to tell you for whom you should vote." Sorry Catholics, but Jesus. Bishop Thomas John Paprocki thus joins the growing ranks of Catholic officials citing eternal damnation to bolster right-wing political positions often at odds with their flock. Progressives among the faithful suggest, entirely reasonably, the ungodly tactic might backfire.

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