Jon Stewart does a brilliant segment on the multitude of ridiculous and offensive positions the Bush administration (including Mukasey, McConnell, Alberto, Hayden and Bush) has taken on torture, i.e.,: waterboarding.

It's not torture, it is torture, don't do it to me, we don't torture---it's classified---I can't discuss it---water goes up my nose--swim lessons---it's not appropriate for me to say if it's torture---we never torture---we only waterboarded three people...Will you investigate?---No.

Download Download (h/t Joe)

Kennedy: Would waterboarding be torture if it was done to you? Mukasey: Ummm. I would feel that it was. McConnell: Being a water safety instructor and teaching people to swim, he said. "Well, what about if water goes up your nose?" And I said that would be torture. That would be very painful to me. Q: American prosecutors actually obtained convictions against Japanese after WWII because of what they did to American captives. What about it---makes it not torture now? Is it just the circumstances? Fratto: I don't think that's a question I can answer...

How do these people sleep at night? Outside of Bill O'Reilly, that is. He sleeps very well---especially after he's made a nice long phone call to one of his female employees. Text messages just wouldn't do.