I wish people had as much compassion for people with personality disorders as they do for shelter pets. I have a chihuahua I adopted from a shelter. Her name is Kaya and she was mistreated by her previous owners. Whenever she meets new people, she gets hostile. She snarls and barks and the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Sometimes someone will make an abrupt movement and she’ll jump so bad that she pees herself. If she has bonded to you, she’ll get more and more distressed the longer you ignore her. Sometimes she gets spiteful and destroys shoes or toilet paper or stuffed animals just to get your attention. All I have to do is explain to my guests that she was abused, and everyone immediately understands that she needs some extra patience and empathy. While we work towards rehabilitating her, everyone understands that she’ll always need some extra attention and love. Why can’t people behave with that same understanding towards people with personality disorders? So many of us act out in ways that seem hostile or explosive because we’re deeply hurt and afraid. Yet, when we inevitably slip up and hurt someone else on our paths to recovery, it seems like no one wants to understand the context. They just want to call us abusers and write us off as toxic.