My mother and father were both from here, in the Philippines, but she left [him] for an American so that she could get a visa and go to the US. I was left with my father. She never tried to contact me until I was 19. She called me on the phone, and I was so surprised because I thought she did not know me or care for me. She told me she had found a husband for me in America and she was sending [him] to me so we could be married.

I told her “No, I have already have a boyfriend here.” And she asked me if he was American, and I told her no. Then she says I have to marry an American so I can come to the states. She says it is much better over there. I told her I love my boyfriend, so she calls me names and names, she says I’m so stupid, tells me I have to marry an American. She tells me that after all this time she still loves me and wants me to be at her house in America with her. Can you imagine, after nineteen years she doesn’t talk to me?

But even still, she is my mother, and I was happy to know she still loves me, so I told her, “I will not leave Albert, because I love him very much, but I will try to get a visa and go to you.” She told me it’s okay as long as I come be there with her. Then she calls me every week, asking me question about Albert. She asks if he is a Catholic, and I lie to her, “yes,” because I am afraid she will hate him if she knows he is a Christian.

Two days later I get a call, and my mother is screaming at me all these things. She tells me I need to leave Albert because he a Christian. I tell her, “No, I love Albert. I love that Albert is a Christian, and I am a Christian now, too.” She was very upset, she said she would pray for my soul to not go to hell. She said she would pray that Albert would leave me so I would stop being a Christian and be saved. I asked how she found out Albert was Christian, and she told me she called her family here in the Philippines and asked them to check and found out.

She did not call me so much after that. When she talked she would always tell me how much she loved me and wanted me to live with her in her big house in the US, and every time she called she would ask me if I left Albert yet or if [he] left me. Several times Albert would come home from work and get attacked by people telling him he was going to hell. They hit him until he was on the ground, and the women even scratch him with their nails. I think it was maybe my mother’s family or friends, but when I ask her she said she did not know anything about that.

Eventually my mother tells me that she will pay for my trip the US, and she will let me stay with her. She said she is very rich and does not have to work, and I would not have to work if I went to live with her. This was in 1995, Albert and I were already married and Philip was just born. We did not have so much money, so I got a work visa and decided to go to the States to get a job and send money home to family. I asked my mother if I could stay with her, and she told me it was okay.

When I got to the States, there was a– what do you call that– the big, long car? Ah, right. There was a limousine waiting for me at the airport. My mother’s house was very big. Her husband was the owner of a company and he had a lot of money. My mother threw a big party when I arrived. She gave me so many gifts and told me she loved me. She said the house was too big for just her and her husband, and she wanted her real children to be with her. She also told me she wanted Philip to live there, too.

My mother did not want me to get a job, but I did anyway, because I needed to send money to Albert. After a few weeks, my mother came to my room with a very expensive dress, and said she would take me to a party at her friend’s house. The dress was very nice, and I had been working very hard, so I agreed.

But then when we got inside the car, she drove us to some kind of nightclub. I asked her, “Why are we here? You said we were going to your friend’s house.” And she laughed and told me it was a surprise. She wanted to give me a good time. We were already there, so I went inside. My mother kept telling me to drink, giving me more and more drinks. I did not drink them, but I pretended to.

When it was late, my mother brought me to a man named Randall. She said he was rich and that he wanted to sleep with me, and he could even marry me and get me a permanent visa. I asked my mother, “Is this why you took me here to the states? So you could get me drunk and sleep with an American? Don’t you know I’m already married to Albert?” And she tells me to forget about Albert, that I need to marry an American. Imagine, even though I have already a husband and a son!

I made my mother take us home. She was very mad, but she did it anyway. After that, she was always bringing men to the house. She told me again and again that I needed to get married to an American while I am still beautiful and 26.

One night I told her, “Mom, please stop. I love Albert very much, not because of money, but because I love him so much, and we are so happy together.” I told her I will never leave him. Even though it was cruel, I said, “I will not abandon my child and my husband like you did! You left us for money and toys and parties, and you never cared about me for 19 years until you realized you wanted me! You don’t love me, you only want me like a dress or a doll. You only love yourself!”

She got so angry then, it was like a demon was inside her. She was screaming and screaming and throwing things everywhere. Finally her husband had to come and take her away to their room. [He] told her I was an adult, and I should marry who I want. And so my mother promised to stop bringing men to the house, but I think it was only to make her husband happy. I told him I wanted to go home, so he bought me a ticket and I left the next day.

When I was back in the Philippines, I did not hear from my mother again until, I think, 2002. She said her husband had died and she was very lonely. She wanted me to come back to the US and to bring Philip, but Albert would have to stay behind. I told her “no,” but she kept calling and calling. I stopped answering her.

Then there started to be rumors that Albert was hitting me. Even at church, people said they heard the rumors. I knew it was my mother again. I told Albert, “Maybe she thinks you will leave me if she makes rumors.” He told me it was okay, and he would never leave me. Ever since we met, we have always loved each other so much, and we are always happy together, even when we had no money, and even now that we are here in this place.

My mother never stopped calling me, and never stopped making rumors. My husband would get attacked, and several times he was arrested, and I had to explain to the police what was happening. One time a man punched me in the face, and apologized and told me that someone had given him a lot of money to punch me. Then another man hit me, and after that I was always being attacked, and people thought it was Albert. We moved many times, but everywhere we went it happened.

Several times Albert said that he would leave if I wanted him to. He did not want me to be hurt anymore, and he did not want Philip to grow up being told his father was a wife beater. I told him that as long as he wanted to be with me, I would never ask him to leave. He was the only thing in my life that made me happy after my mother caused me to suffer so much.

Albert and Philip and I have suffered so much because of my mother. Every night I prayed to God, “Please, Lord, let her die so she can no longer make my family suffer.” And I also prayed for forgiveness, because she was still my mother, and I knew I should love her. And you know, I do still love her, even until now. I cannot love what she does to my family, but she is still my mother, and I hate the things she does but I still love.

The last time I talked to her on the phone, I said, “I still love you even though I also love Albert. My love for you is not less because I also love him.” And she cried and cried and told me that she’s lonely in her big house. She said her house was always getting bigger and it would not stop. She told me that sometimes she gets lost in her big house, and it’s full of toys and dresses for her children and her grandchildren, but she is all alone and she can’t get out.

I don’t know if she will ever stop making our family suffer, but I do not feel angry at her anymore. I know that as much as she is hurting us, she is hurting even more, and that is because of the things she did when she was alive. I pray for her soul every day. Even if she could no longer make her phone calls, and we were happy here, I would still pray for her to be at peace, because she is my mother.