Fair disclosure. As far as I'm aware, The Belfry Network doesn't make money. I know there is Patreon stuff for Cemetery Confessions though and that finances that, maybe paying for the website upkeep too. I am also not paid to write articles here. Just thought I'd mention that before people started crying hypocrite at me. Besides no one sees my shit anyway because I'm not young and attractive on youtube.

So yeah. If this were targeted at goths/alternative people it would be fair enough. But as open as it is for people to wear goth as a costume to keep up with the memes its pretty shitty. But hey - you want to do it go right ahead. I choose not to.

Leghumpers

Fucking leghumpers! You know the types - men from outside alternative culture who try to score alternative ladies because they are seen as exotic, kinky and easy. To be fair this can happen to attractive alternative men too but its usually targeting the ladies. This happens online and in real life.

Recently a friend of mine posted about a recent leghumper incident where someone contacted her on Facebook and assumed her and her boyfriend would do threesomes because goth. Someone said she was starting drama talking about it. It started a bit of a back and forth from both sides.

Personally I'm all for exposing people who do stuff like this. From what I've heard talking to a few alternative ladies, as well as a few "normal" ladies, men behaving like this is way too common online. Its as if they feel since a woman is there, they have the right to make unwanted sexual advances or bombard them with dick pics.

As for real life incidents they can be scarier than online as a direct threat can be there. A common thing is for a man to buy a lady drinks, then expect her to put out at the end of the night. Women are not vending machines you can pour alcohol into in exchange for sex. Of course if that's a prior arrangement that's a different story but that will seldom be the case with complete strangers. So ladies if a man you only just met is plying you with lots of alcohol its likely this is why. Though some menare generous and just like to have the company of a lady and have a drink with her. It can be hard to tell them apart until later in the evening if the hard word comes.

Also you get the types who have the mentality that picking up alternative ladies is easier and they are kinky and will be easy to bed. What they don't realize is the ladies are usually attracted more to alternative people like them than "normies" off the street. This isn't the case for everyone but it is common. Turning up to an alt venue to pick up a "freaky suicide girl" will likely end in disappointment and no one likes unwanted sexual advances.

If ever there were a reason for why the world needs feminism this is it. No one should be harassed like this. Being alternative is not an invitation for open sexual advances by anyone. Wearing revealing clothing is not an invitation for sexual advances. Hell posting artistic nudes is not an invitation for sexual advances.

The sad part is these men probably don't even realize that this tactic doesn't even work. But if they do know, why do they still do it? Hope? Nah. More likely its about power. They can't control their own sad little lives so they try to control the lives of others by taking what they assume the universe owes them. They may see alternative ladies as being damaged or weaker, hence an easier target too.

For the ladies out there here is a little secret about how men think. We all think we can have any woman we want. We all think we should get any woman we want because we deserve it. Its how we are wired. But that does not mean we should act on it, nor do we have to. There is a choice.

Of course all of the above can also translate to other gender identities and other sexualities too. Its just that its usually straight men putting unwanted advances on women.

Requesting Inappropriate Music

One for the DJs. We all know this one. You're in the booth playing music that's on genre, and guaranteed someone will come up and request stuff completely inappropriate. Think along the lines of bands like Metallica, Disturbed, Cradle of Filth and so on. That list gets even longer if you are playing at a more genre specific night such as a goth night or an industrial night.

Granted some bands do blur the lines and I have been known to play the odd off-genre song just to see how it goes. But I do follow a general method to my madness. You have to be able to dance to it unless its on genre or a joke song at the end of the night.

So I have pulled such crazy maneuvers at mixed genre events such as playing HIM's Wings of a Butterfly and Satyricon's K.I.N.G. Many people were pleasantly surprised, many others went into raging "That's not goth!" mode. Most notorious of this was playing The Lonely Island's I'm On A Boat on a goth cruise as we cast off because it was apt (we were on a boat) and it was funny as hell. If I recall right I played an Alestorm track that night too for appropriateness. The list of tracks I'm forbidden to play has grown over the years.

Would I do that at a serious goth or industrial event? Very unlikely. Besides they have on genre joke tracks that work just fine as is. Ask me to play Marilyn Manson at either and I won't do it. An industrial remix at an industrial event? Possibly, depends on the mix and the source. But you don't get goth remixes so that stuff tends to remain pure outside mashups. Even then its usually goth music mashed up with other goth/related music.

Until I made this...