There’s an old adage- it takes a village to raise a child. It’s reassuring for new parents, it’s a support system. You don’t have to do it alone- there’s aunts, uncles, grandparents, godparents, the other parents at the day-care/pre-school/kindergarten.

Unless you’re gay.

When people are opposed to gay people having or adopting children, the most effective argument they have is that a child needs the nurturing influence of both genders of parent. The baby will need the unconditional love of their mother and the structure and discipline of a father. This argument cuts to the core because everyone hears the ring of truth in it. The (bizarre) assumption is that gay people don’t have the same support network as straight parents. That we don’t have access to the village.

Here’s the thing though- and some straight people I think might be surprised to consider this.

Gay people do not exist in a vacuum.

We know other people. We know people who aren’t gay. My wife and I know, respect and have excellent platonic relationships with men. If I ever have a son, there are men that I can call and say things like:

“Can you take Boy to Hangdog with you this saturday and teach him how to tie a knot?”

“Boy’s friends at school taught him how to find porn on the internet, can you talk to him?”

“Can Boy go camping with you and your son on the school holidays?”

“Boy wants to start going to this sport, can you teach him some basics?”

“Boy likes a girl at school and he’s too embarrassed to talk to me about her, can you talk to him?”

And they will say yes.

My future hypothetical son will not lack father figures. It’s not even a matter of gay parents having their own village, we all live in the same village. We’re all raising our kids together.