By Marty McDonald —

When I was religious, I felt I was “at war with myself”. I’ll list some of the ways a person might feel at war with themselves.

If you believe you must become less so Jesus can become more, you might be at war with yourself.

If you exclaim “It’s no longer I that live, but Christ who lives in me”, you might be at war with yourself.

If you feel guilty about your sexuality, you might be at war with yourself.

If you’d like to broaden your perspective but hesitate because it would conflict with your religious beliefs, you might be at war with yourself.

If you think your goodness is no better than filthy rags, you might be at war with yourself.

If you deprive yourself or do things you don’t want to in order to “make up for your sins”, you might be at war with yourself.

If you pursue a life path other than the path you want because “God wants you to”, you might be at war with yourself.

If you avoid contact with otherwise good people because they “aren’t living for the Lord”, you might be at war with yourself.

If you’d like to wear certain clothes, wear certain jewelry, have a certain hairstyle, get a tattoo, or get a piercing but decide not to because it would offend a religious entity, you might be at war with yourself.

If you abstain from foods or drink that you’d otherwise partake of because your religion “says so”, you might be at war with yourself.

If you have more children than you want, you might be at war with yourself.

If you disown or ostracize a loved one because they don’t believe as you do, you might be at war with yourself.

If you “lean not on your own understanding”, you might be at war with yourself.

You can be at war with yourself even if you didn’t start the war.

You can be at war with yourself even if you don’t want the war.

You can be at war with yourself even if the war is someone else’s war.

I used to be at war with myself. Not all of the above applied to me, but some of them did.

I remember thinking: “I’m tired of fighting against myself. This isn’t working. I’m a good person. I’m going to accept myself as I am. Even though I have faults, I am honest enough to address them. I’m going to trust my own intuition. If that sends me to hell, then so be it”.

If you are at war with yourself, realize you can stop whenever you want! Your life won’t fall apart, and you won’t go to hell.