A petition to deport Justin Bieber back to Canada drew upward of 250,000 signatures on the White House’s website, requiring a formal response from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. On Saturday, President Obama’s administration finally issued its decision — or, rather, non-decision.

The White House declined to comment on Bieber’s legal status, explaining that in order “to avoid the appearance of improper influence, the White House may decline to address certain procurement, law enforcement, adjudicatory, or similar matters properly within the jurisdiction of federal departments or agencies, federal courts, or state and local government in its response to a petition.” Bieber is currently facing a series of charges stemming from separate arrests in Toronto and Miami.



Rather, the White House used the opportunity to push for immigration reform as a whole, while also working in a few Bieber-related puns for good measure.

“We’ll leave it to others to comment on Mr. Bieber’s case, but we’re glad you care about immigration issues. Because our current system is broken. Too many employers game the system by hiring undocumented workers, and 11 million people are living in the shadows. That status quo isn’t good for our economy or our country. We need common-sense immigration reform to make sure everyone plays by the same set of rules. Not only is it the right thing to do morally, it’s the right thing for our country: Independent economists say immigration reform will grow our economy and shrink our deficits by almost 1 trillion in the next 20 years. For those of you counting at home, that’s 12.5 billion concert tickets — or 100 billion copies of Mr. Bieber’s debut album. You better believe it.“