The burdens of being an Informed Citizen are many. This weekend, you’ll probably be going out to some holiday party or dinner where your friends will expect you to have an opinion about the monster spending bill that’s been staggering through Congress.

Consider this an opinion primer.

The bill is called the cromnibus. That’s Congress-speak for continuing resolution and omnibus. You do not need to know about this. However, it is crucial that you avoid confusing the cromnibus with the cronut, a pastry that’s half-croissant and half-doughnut. “Like the cronut, but less delicious,” twittered Ashley Parker of The Times.

The worst thing in it is a section — dropped into the 1,600-page measure at the last minute without any hearings — that allows banks to use their customers’ federally guaranteed deposits to buy credit default swaps. Also other investments with impossible names that we learned to hate during the Wall Street bailout.

Most of the language in the section came directly from Citigroup. I rest my case.

The second-worst thing in the bill allows rich people to make up to $1.5 million in campaign contributions every two-year election cycle. Or $3 million if they happen to be a married couple. God knows how much if they happen to be a wealthy extended family.