Stephanie Smith, who police say made millions a month on an unlicensed marijuana operation (San Bernardino, Calif., Police Department)

May God grant me the serenity to accept the news cycle I cannot change, the courage to call out the evil asshats I can, and the wisdom to know when to use a semicolon and when to just end the sentence (copy editors: I’m still working it).




And Lord, if you’re in a generous mood, could you please throw me a little bit of Stephanie Smith’s unimpeachable, THC-infused white privilege? I hear it’s some high-grade stuff.

Smith is a 43-year-old mother from San Bernardino, Calif., who was nabbed last week in what could be “the largest indoor marijuana operation ever discovered,” according to the Miami Herald. Smith’s business was so big, it’s been referred to by some media outlets as a “weed fortress,” and reportedly netted Smith millions of dollars a month,.


The Miami Herald painted a picture of just how large and sophisticated the operation was:

The unlicensed operation ... included employees, guards, an advanced drip-irrigation system, multiple buildings filled with more than 24,000 marijuana plants in various stages of growth, and a $67,000 electric bill, according to San Bernardino police. The outsized electric bill — linked to an old, ostensibly empty warehouse — helped lead authorities to the operation.

Y’all might be aware that marijuana is legal in California, and thus, growing weed is allowed so long as growers register their businesses and run them by their respective city governments for approval. But growing pot on that scale is still not legal, and growers won’t technically be allowed to sell their wares until January, when commercial licenses will be available.

KTLA-TV reports that Smith paid for two warehouses and a nearby home for the off-the-books operation (her actual home is in the affluent Pacific Palisades neighborhood).


Now for the caucasity:

Smith built one of her warehouses right next to the cops. Like, on the same block as the San Bernardino police headquarters.


Smith also wasn’t arrested, according to CBS News. Questioned, yes, but not arrested—and it’s unclear whether she will be. Even if she did get charged, the TV outlet reports, all she faces are a misdemeanor, jail time and a state fine.

*Asks for answers in Kanye.*


Here’s where the story gets even wilder: This isn’t even Smith’s first violation. The Daily Mail reports that DailyMailTV found court records showing that Smith was sentenced to three years’ probation in April 2013 for the unauthorized practice of medicine. The records don’t say what Smith did specifically, but Smith, who was known as Stephanie Darcy at the time, was named in “a trio of personal injury suits” filed in 2008 for performing liposuction without a license.

If anyone is nervous, it sure isn’t Smith, who was walking around Brentwood, Calif., free as a bird on Friday. When asked by DailyMailTV whether she was concerned about possible misdemeanor charges and potential jail time, Smith, wearing leggings, slides and sunglasses, responded, “No, what for?”


White privilege is one hell of a drug.