No matter how much you try to act like you’re in the movie Goodfellas, you’re just going to look like a color-coordinated bowling team. It’s Pawn Stars! Let’s sell things off screen and then try to find a plot to film before everyone clocks out at five, okay?

Aaron Littleton is your host this week, keeping track of the how old each individual member of Pawn Stars is getting by the second. John Hurst co-hosts, frantically trying to find anything to appease a History channel audience in 23 minute chunks.

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