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Why did someone make this? Why?



Remember that horrifying Thomas The Tank Engine mod for Skyrim? The one that turned dragons in howling, demon-possessed husks of the childhood favorite? Yeah, well Trainwiz’s Funny Followers mod does it one better. It turns Thomas-style trains into followers with strange, spindly bodies. They wander around and whisper dark tidings, because there is something deeply wrong with them. Here’s the mod’s description:

FEATURES: -Two followers that can be summoned at will, who are not weird and do not want to devour your soul. -These followers do not talk, so you don’t have to worry about any of that nasty commentary. Any whispers or voices in your head telling you to burn everything to the ground are unrelated to this mod. -These followers are both combat capable and undying, but this is because they trained very hard and not because they satanically destroy all life around them. People also randomly drop dead around them, but they have nothing to do with it, we swear. -The ability to not die. Well, technically they do die but another one spawns in their place. They’re fast breeders. Any percieved side effect where all who witness their deaths suddenly go into a murderous frenzy is simply a coincidence. -These followers are also made of pure despair, and any item given to them will disappear forever. This makes them great disposal bins for all those precious items you want to get rid [of]!


Oh, and this bit seems important:

NEVER, EVER let one follower witness the death of another. The world is not prepared for what happens. You’ve been warned.


Freaky.

I kind of enjoy that the mod description balances comedy with some degree of doubt. Like, I still don’t feel like I know exactly what these things are gonna do, exactly how they’ll act in the game. I know it will be strange and fucked up, but beyond that I can only wait and see. Fear, of course, relies on surprise—some sort of dark, unknowable force—and this sounds like it fits the bill. And they’re your followers, which makes for an interesting twist. With friends like these, who needs enemies, etc.

And I mean, just look at them.


What is going on there? What is even going on?

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To contact the author of this post, write to nathan.grayson@kotaku.com or find him on Twitter @vahn16.