While we've been selfishly worried about human rights and the economy, everyone forgot how truly terrible the Trump presidency must be on Trump himself. Luckily, I've managed to compile a definitive look into our brave new POTUS's hour-by-hour struggle. Prepare for the seriously researched, definitive schedule of Donald Jamillah Trump that is in no way designed to antagonize him or his supporters ...

6:00 a.m. - 9:00 a.m.: Watch TV, Rage Tweet, And Physically Fall Apart

Considering his documented love of stool-loosening Lay's Potato Chips, our president no doubt rouses with an aggressive BM. And for the sake of simplicity, let's just assume that Trump spends the rest of his day in a lightning war with his bowels. #TrumpHasPotatoShits

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While campaigning he was famously a Twitter monster (and regular monster, depending on your ethnicity), but President Trump is surprisingly more restrained with an average of five tweets a day (only slightly more than Obama). As the Boston Globe detailed, the prime Twitter window is between 6 a.m. and 10 a.m. -- giving us a clear idea of when Trump sleeps and what he does immediately after waking up.