Jamie Cooper, 19, the youngest Briton seriously injured in Basra, had hoped to join the march past at the Cenotaph in Whitehall. He is one of a number of young soldiers recuperating from injuries suffered in Iraq and Afghanistan the Royal British Legion had wanted to include in Britain's centrepiece remembrance ceremony.

But last week, the head of the Legion contacted Jamie's's father, Phillip, to say that government rules for participating in the parade stipulated that only veterans, not 'serving soldiers', could take part. Last year 1,500 civilians were among the 9,500 allowed by the government to participate in the official march past. 'I am absolutely outraged,' Cooper said. 'I would not have made an issue of it. But Jamie, who is thankfully recovering well from his latest major operation, said to me: "Dad, do you remember how we always used to go to Remembrance Day when I was younger? Do you think we could go this year?" He feels strongly about it, because he has lost friends on the battlefield and wants to pay tribute to them.'

It is also understood that several soldiers currently recuperating from serious injuries at Headley Court, the military rehabilitation centre near Epsom in Surrey, had wanted to attend, but were also not able to join the official parade.

Cooper said that when he raised the possibility with the Legion, the veterans' organisation was very supportive and initially suggested that he join the main ceremony at the Cenotaph.

But Peter Cleminson, chairman of the Legion, later phoned 'apologetically'. Cooper added: 'He said that he wished he could have arranged for Jamie to take part, as well as some of the others who are recuperating at Headley Court. But he said that the government is in charge of the parade guidelines, and the policy is that no serving soldiers can participate.

A spokesman confirmed: 'Current guidelines do not allow serving personnel to take part in the march past.' The Legion did not say whether it would be pressing either of the Whitehall departments involved in overseeing the event - the Ministry of Defence and the Department of Culture, Media and Sport - to change the rules in future.

Cooper said: 'It is outrageous. I know any father would say this, but I am just so, so proud of Jamie, of all he has sacrificed, and of how he has fought against all the odds to survive and get better. His government ought to be proud too - not ashamed of him.'

Jamie lost the use of one leg and suffered serious hand and stomach wounds in a mortar attack near Basra in November 2006.

His father's anger was echoed yesterday by the mother of Ben Parkinson, the 23-year-old whose horrific injuries from an Afghan landmine explosion sparked a nationwide controversy over compensation levels for seriously wounded soldiers. 'Ben, Jamie and the other young men who have been badly injured are an inspiration,' Diane Dernie said last night. 'But the government wants them hidden away, not be seen or heard from.'

She said the young service personnel should be 'celebrated' for their sacrifice and positively encouraged to be part of the ceremony. She recently took her son to visit the army museum in Chelsea to see the exhibit on operations in Afghanistan. 'People kept coming up to him in his wheelchair and touching him, smiling, and saying: "Well done, young man." These boys are an inspiration, but the current government guidelines suggest they are embarrassed by them. It's bizarre.'

Dernie said yesterday that men such as Ben and those fortunate to have survived serious injury deserved to join the march past and that she was determined to devote her life to helping 'these incredibly brave, very young people' rebuild their lives.

'They are really heroes, refusing to feel down or depressed and determined to carry on. I feel that I have to do all I can to fight for them,' she added.

Cooper told The Observer that he was determined not to disappoint Jamie and planned to take him as a spectator to today's Remembrance Day ceremony in Bristol. Parents of other soldiers said they understood that a nurse at Headley Court was also planning to accompany several of the recuperating Iraq and Afghan wounded in her own time to watch the London ceremony.

The Royal British Legion is running an Honour the Covenant campaign to improve support for British soldiers fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. It said that Jamie Cooper had been offered, as an alternative, a vantage point to watch the march past on a specially raised viewing platform.

'Participation in the march past is subject to ticketing in order to maintain the dignity of the event and keep numbers within the bounds of safety,' a spokesman said.

A statement from Peter Cleminson read: 'Today's serving man and woman is tomorrow's veteran and the Legion will ensure, as it has done since 1921, that the annual service at the Cenotaph will be a fitting tribute to their honour and their sacrifice.'

The controversy came as the weekend's first remembrance events took place in the capital. The Queen led yesterday's Royal Festival of Remembrance at the Royal Festival Hall before an audience of veterans. Among them was 109-year-old Harry Patch, the last British man alive to have served in the trenches during the First World War, a unique living link with the carnage of Passchendaele, a name synonymous with the mud and carnage of the conflict.

Speaking before the service, Patch, from Wells, Somerset, said: 'Today is not for me, it is for the countless millions who did not come home with their lives intact. They are the heroes.'

At the Cenotaph, 150 widows gathered to honour their husbands who were killed in wars fought by Britain. Today major events include a service at the new National War Memorial, Alrewas, Staffordshire, as well as ceremonies from the Falklands to France. For the first time there is even a 'virtual Cenotaph' organised online by the Legion.

Yesterday, the Ministry of Defence named a soldier killed in a road accident in southern Afghanistan. He was Lance-corporal Jake Alderton, 22, from Bexley, south London, the 83rd British soldier to die in the country since 2001.

Last night, an army padre described the significance of Remembrance Day to those servicemen and women currently serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.

In an article released by the MoD, Padre Duncan Weaver explained that today's act of remembering those who died serving their country is as relevant as ever. He said that his service today will 'bring to the fore again' the repatriation services held during the summer.

'As the sun set, the coffins were carried into the hold of the aircraft and one was reminded on one's own mortality and no doubt on Remembrance Day that sense of vulnerability will surface again,' he said.

Day of commemoration

United in remembrance - how the fallen will be honoured worldwide

London: 10.30am Remembrance parade with two-minute silence at 11am at the Cenotaph, attended by the Queen.

The National War Memorial, Alrewas, Staffordshire: 10.30am Remembrance service, march past and RAF fly past.

Birmingham, Centenary Square, Hall of Memory: 10am Remembrance ceremony with West Midlands Male Police Choir and Birmingham Icknield Male Voice Choir.

Elvington, Yorkshire: 11am service at French Memorial in Elvington Village to commemorate losses among French airmen based there from May 1944. Further 12.45pm service at Yorkshire Air Museum.

Ottawa, Canada: 10.55am local time, main Remembrance ceremony at the National War Memorial.

Paris: 9.30am local time, national ceremony at the Arc de Triomphe, including wreath-laying by President Nicolas Sarkozy.

Comilla, Bangladesh: 11am local time, ceremony at Commonwealth War Cemetery.

'Poppy Island', Second Life: the first cyberspace Remembrance Day commemoration, organised at a 'virtual Cenotaph' by the Royal British Legion.