I’ve been itching to get some time at a computer today to write this post. It took just under 8 milliseconds after the story that Osama bin Laden had been killed for the conspiracy theories to begin. The conspiracy theories, of course, have always been there. Many people are convinced that he died in 2001 or 2002 in Tora Bora of kidney failure or military action. Alex bin Jones said that bin Laden has been “on ice” for the better part of a decade. As he said in 2002, “Alex Jones was separately told by a high level Republican source that Bin Laden was dead and that his body was being kept ‘on ice’ until Osama’s death could be announced at the most ‘politically expedient’ time.”

The Republicans waited until just the right moment to…let a Democrat president take the credit? Or was it to interrupt Celebrity Apprentice, as Tengrain from Mock, Paper, Scissors found? Clearly, Trump is a danger to the Republican establishment, and they must crush him.

The faithful heeded the call to conspiracy sounding from the minaret of Above Top Secret and bowed toward Austin. In a post titled, “Calling all ATS Osama Dead huh? What are they breaking the news to hide? Let’s start digging please,” the writer exhorts:

“This is how they do it we all know this. This is a blatant MSM wool over the eyes type of an announcement. It’s time to peruse the interwebz with a fine tooth comb. I have a huge suspicion that there is something that is occurring or about to. […] This seems entirely too convenient right now….senses are tingling strong on this one. I wouldn’t post this if I didn’t feel strongly about it.”

Well, if you feel strongly about it…no, actually that has no bearing on whether or not your claim is true. This fellow casts a wide net (something occurring or about to happen that is or will be listed on the Internet?) and offers us only a “feeling” as justification. Before It’s News thinks it’s a distraction from…whatever we’re doing in Syria.

I have a suspicion that many conspiracy theorists will look to the other reported deaths of bin Laden, which really were reported but were of course inaccurate, but they will probably ignore the fact that there are multiple lines of evidence leading to the conclusion that this one is in fact correct, not the least of which is that an al-Qaida spokesweasel, “in vowing vengeance against America, called him a martyr, offering no challenge to the U.S. account of his death.” Wow! Talk about independent confirmation!

One guy, who has a webcam and a fauxhawk (never a good combination), thinks it has something to do with the occult, sort of, or it’s all a lie, or… uh:

Well, if you can’t trust an insomniac in a basement, who can you trust?

Some people just assume that the raid was staged, like the moon landing. I know that when I stage assassinations, I stage them within spitting distance of a Pakistani military installation.

So who’s staging it. According to a former member of the ISI (why are insider sources never current members?), the security forces of Pakistan, it’s the CIA, but this is just too convenience, since the Tehrike Taliban Pakistan, who have sworn to avenge bin Laden’s death, are blaming the ISI.

Of course, Fox got it wrong:

I challenge the Truthers to answer how FoxNews knew that Obama was going to die years ahead of the event itself? They must have psychic powers. (A real 9/11 Truther argument re: the BBS reporting on WTC 7.)

There are elements of the story that will, inevitably, lead to much speculation. The fact that we no longer have the body is going to make the predisposed doubt. I don’t blame the military for burying bin Laden at sea. You have 24-hrs before you are technically desecrating the corpse, so they had to dispose of it. It’s not in our interests to have his burial place be a shrine, so give him an actual “burial” at sea. I think it is a pretty elegant solution, myself. They have apparently all the evidence they need. The raid was, surprisingly, live-tweeted. They have DNA of the dead man and from his family. Al-Qaida confirmed the death by swearing revenge. There is apparently additional facial recognition evidence. One of his wives (one who was NOT used as a human shield) identified him. And who knows what trail of evidence evidence led to the compound? This is a pretty firm case. I’m sure there will be more.

Old, known forgeries of an image of Osama bin Laden’s corpse, which were never endorsed by the military but have circulated on the web for years, inexplicably, are being used as evidence that Osama is not dead. If he was just killed yesterday, then wouldn’t the old photos have to be faked anyway? And nobody in the government is even claiming that those photos are of bin Laden.

I am also hearing rumors of a recently Wikileaked an al-Qaida document saying that if Osama is killed there will be nuclear retribution in the US. I haven’t confirmed that, but I suspect that people will use that, regardless of whether or not it’s true, to say, “The government/NWO/Jews/Illuminati/ other is going to nuke us soon and blame al-Qaida.” Oh well.

Ben Radford is on the case over at Discovery News. I look forward to seeing how this one plays out. Will Osama end up hiding in Argentina? Perhaps underneath the Antarctic ice cap in a flying saucer? Is he cloning himself and raising an uber-race of super-jihadis among the stars? Or maybe he’ll pop up at a Burger King in Kalamazoo, MI? We’ll wait and see.

RJB

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