What the heck is the matter with people? Well, when the Macalope says “people” in this instance he means the coagulated meat clumps that write for the Forbes contributor network and liberated sock monkey sanctuary.

Ewan Spence does us all the great favor of explaining how the “iPad Pro's Failure In The Tablet Wars Hands Microsoft A Rare Victory.” (Tip o’ the antlers to @oatmeal33.)

It’s very nice of him as the Macalope is not personally able to decipher the portents of Apple device doom that lie in everyday happenings such as a feather falling from a bird’s wing or certain shapes being burnt into toast. For example, he was unaware that the iPad Pro had already failed. Important information. Good to have. This is why you go to a witch doctor.

Recent studies show that Apple has not been able to increase its share of the tablet market with the iPad family.

Well, it’s been out for two weeks so if it hasn’t dramatically increased Apple’s tablet share in that amount of time then banana box transmission jelly the hot dog water.

Notice that Spence does not link to any of these “recent studies”. The Macalope’s seen one that actually does exist and is based on the iPad Pro’s web share since its release, but perhaps the ridiculousness of such an effort defies linking to. The href tag simply dissolves.

Meanwhile, Strategy Analytics look at the tablet market in its ‘Tablet Operating System Forecast’ report highlights Microsoft’s relative success in the tablet market. Sales of Windows tablets are up 58% year-on-year, and are projected to reach 22 million for calendar year 2015.

And we all know that market share projections are never wrong.

Right.

The Macalope meant to say “right”.

Let’s just lay this comparison out here: The Surface has been out for three years, was an abject failure at the start and finally turned into a nice business in 2015 after Microsoft spent hundreds of millions of dollars forcing professional football players and coaches and superheroes and their pals to use them. (Do we know for a fact that the Surface’s market share increase isn’t from all the product placement Microsoft has done?) The iPad Pro, meanwhile, has been out for two weeks and is already doomed.

Sure, that’s fair. No, no, go on.

Keep going. Further. Nope, the Macalope can still hear you. Little further.

The iPad Pro was a chance to reinvigorate the line.

The past tense can be used because two weeks is the statute of limitations on products being a success. Its chance is over now and there’s nothing left for us to do but wait for the heat death of the universe.

Microsoft has out-Appled Apple with the ability to define the market, and it will continue to reap the rewards as we move forward into 2016.

That’s one way of looking at it. Apple is selling fewer iPads and Microsoft is selling more Surfaces. But Apple’s also selling more honkin’ big phones. Further, when launching the Surface Pro 4, Microsoft compared it against the MacBook Air, not the iPad. While you can use it as a tablet, it seems more likely to be being used as a laptop. Which is fine and it seems to now be working out for Microsoft, but are its sales coming at Apple’s expense or the expense of its Windows OEMs?

Regardless, it’s a little to early to stick a novelty 12.9-inch fork in iPad Pro. Give it a least three weeks.