One woman feels much more empowered when single:

“Outside of a relationship I feel very free. I am attracted to people no matter their gender, and I can go with the moment and how I'm feeling or the vibes I'm receiving. Within a relationship I feel my personality slowly begin to dim. I'm not as exciting and vibrant as I once was.”

She’s not the only one who feels empowered as a single woman. Another friend agrees:

“I take pride in the life I've led as a single woman, and I like the freedom to experiment with my identity and sexuality.”

She acknowledges that being single allows her to fully experience cultural changes around sex:

“One night stands, dating apps, protection options, sexting — there's so much happening with feminism, technology, and sex combined that it seems like it could be alienating to not be able to participate due to marriage. But then again, I am also aware that marriage culture is exciting and evolving and I am not able to participate.”

Another woman sees value in having a variety of sexual partners over time, stating that her sexual desire is directly related to her sexual liberation. She also acknowledges the value of sexual experience:

“Orgasms came after I started dating men who had more involved sexual histories.”

The perspective that more sexual experience leads to a sense of greater sexual empowerment is corroborated by one married woman:

“For me, marrying at a young age precluded opportunities for sexual identity exploration, leaving unanswered questions and lingering curiosity as I get older.”

The opposite perspective is offered by a single friend who has not experienced an exclusive romantic relationship:

“It's much harder to grow in your sexual identity without a long-term partner. That being said, I have had to use long-term sexual relationships with non-partners as moments for growth, and I definitely have grown within them in terms of trying different things and becoming more comfortable with my body as a sexual body.”

A few friends who are married or in committed partnerships acknowledge how being in a relationship has allowed them to grow in their sexual empowerment and identity.

One married woman states:

“The sex, as well as other functional aspects of our relationship, like our communication and how we fight, has only gotten better with time and practice. Part of what I've gotten from choosing my partner and knowing he has chosen me (i.e. getting married) is feeling like we have a safe space to express ourselves, whereas in the earlier years of our dating there may have been more restricted communication.”

She goes on to define sexual empowerment:

“I think I equate feeling sexually empowered to feeling comfortable talking with him about sexual needs and asking for what I want, as well as identifying what works for him and what works for me without judgment.”

Open communication leading to a feeling of sexual empowerment was a theme for women both within and outside of long-standing relationships. One friend elaborates:

“I think about sex like it's a practice, similar to yoga.”

When communication around sex is not open within a marriage, there can be consequences for the marriage:

“Most people need to have sex, and not talking about issues related to sex in a marriage may drive people to seek fulfillment outside of their marriage.”