A/N: Alot of thanks to my beta, sedryn. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Reviews are appreciated.

"So, how's Elsa? Hans told me you were coming back... did you guys...?"

I stayed quiet, eyes following the buildings going past us as we drove through Newark. Hans was driving in front of us, and I was sure he was already worried. Ma took a glimpse at me, sighing.

"What happened?"

Still, I didn't say anything.

"Why did you come back? You were so happy the last time we came." Which was months ago?

My lips were shut tight. I'd rather explode later when everyone is together, to look at them in the eyes and tell them how fucking stupid each and every one of them were to shut me out. Why, oh why, did they have to ruin what Elsa and I once had? No, but I knew, they weren't the ones to blame mainly. They were still at fault, though.

"Anna Smith, talk to me!"

God, for fuck's sake.

Finally, I managed to look at her in the eye. "You're right, I broke up with her."

Ma was silent, possibly thinking of the possible reasons for why we did such thing. But, wasn't it obvious, Ma?

"... Why? What did she do?" Seriously? I laughed, shaking my head.

"What did she do?" I mocked, "No, what have YOU done?"

She frowned, lips tightening together as if she wasn't sure what I was referring to. The expression I had, eyes looking at her with so much pain. But god, I was tired... so tired of this heart sinking to the bottom of my stomach, pounding rapidly like it was drowning. And I was drowning, falling apart like shattered glass.

"What are you talking about?"

I turned away. "We can talk about this when we get home, now isn't really a good time."

And surely enough, when I got home, I exploded. Hans was holding me tightly as I wept, squirming as I wanted to grab my mother in the collar, shaking her awake until she realized how heartbroken I was.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!" I shouted, gripping Hans by his arm .

Ma looked at me in tears, worried... what kind of daughter am I? I was lashing out, at her, Hans, my father. Yet, I couldn't stop. Because I wanted to feel relief from this burden, because I wanted to feel loved, I couldn't stop.

"A-Anna, stop!" Hans called. I ignored him, tugging away from him.

"WHY DID YOU KEEP THIS AWAY FROM ME?!"

She looked so shaken up, but so were all of us! Ma started whimpering pathetically and suddenly, I pushed Hans away, leaving him stumbling down to the ground. What was wrong with me? This wasn't what I wanted, hurting others just because they'd done the same to me.

My visions were completely blurred out from the tears I'd been holding in for so long. But I was too angry to release any helpless cries.

"WE BROKE UP BECAUSE OF THIS!" With one last yell, I slowly fell to the ground. I was weak, nothing like what Elsa was. Slowly, a single tear finally made its way down my cheek. Staring at her with the blankness of my eyes, I whispered, "we... we broke up because this secret had been hurting us for too long..."

Ma hugged me quickly, tightly. I was unable to respond. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Anna—"

Quickly I shoved her away from me, hugging myself. I shook my head, letting Hans hug me from behind. "N-No… No, this can't… You're not sorry—"

"Anna, we just wanted to protect you…"

"FROM WHAT? FROM WHOM?!" I screamed, hand on my chest. I was desperate. "What did Elsa do to make you feel like you needed to protect me…?"

She looked away. "She wasn't herself when she saw you, Anna… You weren't yourself. I wanted you to be saved from the feelings—the friendship you had with her. Anna, it was—"

"Elsa was hurt because of me… Elsa is like this now because of me… she cheated on me because of who she is now…"

"Anna, it was for your sake!" Hans started, hugging me tightly in his strong arms.

"IT WAS FOR NOBODY'S SAKE!" I yelled. "Nobody's…"

Then, we were quiet and I looked at the ground. My hands instantly took Hans' arm as if it was to protect me. I could feel his heart pounding against my slouched back. Had I hurt him? He made sure to protect me—a promise he made with Elsa—he made to make sure to take care of me, yet… did he know how my heart felt for Elsa? I was angry, scared, alone… but he only stayed by my side because of what Elsa told him? Or did he really love me?

Hm, I wondered.

I sighed, finally. My voice was hoarse. "So… by keeping this secret… you'd rather hurt your daughter—"

"Anna that's not what we wanted… I'm sorry… I'm sorry, alright? We made a mistake." She crawled towards me, hand on mine. I nearly flinched from her touch. Utterly disgusted, I was.

"A stupid mistake, that's what it was…" I looked into her brown eyes, seeing the view of myself through her unshed tears. I looked miserable. But I couldn't stay like this for long, moping around because of the obliviousness (the stubbornness!) of Elsa Snow.

"Anna, please… forgive me."

When I almost opened my mouth, saying that 'yes, it is okay', I stopped myself. This wasn't something I could forgive so easily. She's my mother.

Her eyes were pleading for her daughter for forgiveness, because god knows how kind… how forgiving her daughter was. And because she was just too kind, she only had herself to blame if someone else hurt her.

My eyes couldn't hold still and they just wouldn't look at the pair of tearful orbs directly—at all, even.

All I could say to her was, "I'll think about it."

Maybe, it'd lift some heartache from both of us.

"Because right now… honesty and trust are what I need. And you've never given me that. Never… treated me like your rightful daughter."

The clock ticked as evening passed, the sun settling down while the sky became a shade of red, orange, and pink. The season, of course, was getting cooler by the day and night was quickly falling. Ah, maybe from the other side of the country, it was still warm. I missed the sun covering my skin with its fieriness and bringing out the beauty—I'd rather say, it was the opposite of beauty—of my freckles.

I looked out the balcony with a hot mug of coffee in my palms. The Empire State Building was just glowing with its color from its tip. Wearing just Hans' shirt, I watched the busy street buzzing with yellow taxis and their lights through the evening night.

And my mind was fluttering with the thought of Elsa's well-being. I chuckled, inwardly. How could I forget her? Changing my number and going back home without telling her wouldn't make me forget about the CEO I once loved.

How is she?

What is she doing at this time?

Has she eaten?

Is she still working?

Has she taken her medicine?

How's Olaf?

Sighing, I could see the steam of my breathing flowing out into the open sky. I looked up into the dark space above me. Maybe Elsa was looking at the same sky as I was. My heart had been quiet, even with the thought of her for the past few days. Was this part of moving on?

This is how it feels like? It's so… peaceful.

This was just what I wanted.

I blinked, feeling warmth around my back and shoulder. I looked down, a blanket wrapped around my shoulder warmly. I almost let out a hum, feelings Hans' arms around my waist, his head on my shoulder.

We swayed ourselves left to right slowly. Ah, this was relaxing.

"You'll catch a cold if you keep dressing like this…" he whispered into my cold, red ears.

I smiled softly. "It doesn't bother me."

"Well, it bothers me if you're dressed so scantily."

I rolled my eyes. "You sound like my father. It's okay, Hans, it's really not that cold yet."

"You see the steam coming out of your mouth? Yeah, it's cold. Do you want to come inside?"

Shaking my head, I took a sip of my beverage. "I'd rather stay out here for a while? You know, fresh air."

He nodded, kissing my cheek. "Are you thinking about her again?"

God, this man…

Teal eyes glistered from the street light that evening, ears blaring with crazy traffic. I slowly put my cup on the railing. "Did I make the wrong choice?" I murmured, close enough so he could hear. "I… I forced her to leave… made a move on her against her will… forced her to leave." I touched my cheek. "She slapped me." And I still remembered how painful it was to feel the sting—and it'd hurt me more than what she'd done to me in bed.

Slowly I turned my body around, back leaning against the black railing. "Was I wrong?"

Hans looked at me, eyes feeling sorry for me. I didn't need any pity, but I'd take any care and kindness that was provided to me. But he only said the simplest thing to me, "I have no say on what you've done, Anna."

He was right.

This was my problem, my relationship to deal with, on my own. This wasn't his problem, nor Ma's. Nodding, I let him hug me tight enough to feel his warmth all over my body. I hugged him back. "I hope she's… she's okay with Belle…"

"Belle? Who's that?"

"Ex-girlfriend. She came back just to win Elsa over. The girl, Elsa was cheating with on me, you know?" And yet, I put no feelings in my words. Hans was shocked, hearing the tone of a robot instead of the tone he'd heard the day Elsa was with Belle.

"You're not angry?"

I pulled away, looking at him. I scoffed. "Of course I am, but… if she's happier with her than with me, that's fine. I'm just… sad that my memories comes back and the moment I wake up, I see them together."

He nodded, there really wasn't much to say. All he could do was listen and comfort me. Honestly, I'd leave myself to my own thoughts as well —whether I did the right thing, it was up to my decision to decide.

Leaning against his warmth, he hugged me tighter, warm breath steaming out of our lips as we exhale.

"You know I'm always here for you, if you need anything, baby," he whispered into my hair. My lips stretched into a smile, relieved and feeling so loved. Maybe, just maybe, my heart really did belong to him. I took his arm in my hand and squeezed, looking down. I was warm and cozy on the inside, even if the wind was roaring, little flakes of snow drifting down to our frozen cheeks.

"It's snowing…" I mumbled, looking up to the black sky. "Isn't it too early?"

He chuckled, and I felt his chest rumble from his laughter of amusement. "Have you forgotten how it is here?"

"I only came back for Rapunzel's wedding… so…"

"Mm, well, I could've been there, if it weren't for work. Designing is hard, Anna."

I nodded. He'd worked hard, always under the demands of his father. He was strict, cold, never letting Hans mother soothe him when he needed a pat on the back and one little compliment. His father just wanted the best out of him, that's all. To my family, Hans' father was one of our closest friends—a father that was a buddy to mine, always teasing us about how Hans and I were never going to get married.

It'd always been a joke, but now… I don't know.

"Are you worried about Elsa?"

I blinked, saved from my thoughts by his voice. "W-What do you mean?"

"It's getting cold there, right?"

Giggling, I shook my head. "Still probably warmer than ever, but yeah… getting cold. She'll be fine, I'm sure." I hadn't noticed the smile I had, quickly fading into a tight, sour expression.

"You really believe that?"

Shaking my head immediately, I turned my front to him, arms around his hip. "She's… She gets these nightmares every night… and freaks out a great deal when she wakes up." I ran my fingers across my neck. "She once choked me in her sleep—"

"Anna, babe… She's a strong girl, I know it."

I looked at him, confused of why he seemed so relax, running his hand up and down my back. It felt warm, having his hand snaked up to my waists, and I felt protected. Shrugging, unsure of what to say, I breathed out, "Just… I'm worried about… what she would do after what happened to us."

Hans didn't make a sound and I looked at him. My hand lifted up to cup his cold cheek, his eyes filled with pity for me—and I needed them, badly. I needed reassurance, someone that could take care of me. "I'm scared I made the wrong choice… S-Scared that she'd do something wrong to herself and I…" I look an advantage of her. "I can't…"

"Hey, hey, Anna…" He grabbed my wrist, fingers quickly entangled between each other. "Anna, she's okay."

"You don't know that!" I screamed, my thoughts bursting into an ugly mess. But he held me close, kept the ugliness out. He whispered soft whispers of shushes. "It's okay, Anna… it's okay… shh…"

"Y-You don't know that… She might do something…" I cried, head against his chest and I now realized, how much I cared for her—maybe not love, but caring for her wellbeing—I shut my eyes and the tears that'd been trapped on my pupil were squeezed out.

And we were quiet—a comforting quiet, it was.

"She has Belle, doesn't she? She's capable of taking care of Elsa, right?"

I'm sure she is.

"I don't know… Belle is… Well, I trust her, at least."

He frowned. "You do…?"

Sighing, I wiped the remainder of the tears away. I sniffled, before saying anything. "I've only talked to her once. Once and I already know she was serious about Elsa. She blamed me for how Elsa is now, and she's right," I admitted. "She's right about that. If it wasn't for me, Elsa would've been happy with Belle."

"Anna," he sighed. "Elsa never blamed you—"

"No, she did," I interrupted, and I no longer had the will to cry out like a child. "She just wouldn't tell me my past with her because she didn't want to let me go—but still, I went away, whether she liked it or not."

And then he went silent, his eyebrows furrowed firmly. "She loved you too, Anna. She still does, I'm sure."

I nodded. "I know, I loved her too. Hopefully, she's happy now." But even with Belle, I knew she'd keep thinking of me. Maybe even the time we'd last seen each other. I cringed at the thought, hearing the smack of her palm going across my cheek. Maybe she was thinking about that, regretting her actions now…

Laughing heartily on the inside, I realized, we'd never said our goodbyes to each other. We'd only left each other, in tears and in pain.

"Anna? Baby?"

I blinked. Had I been spacing out? "Y-Yes?"

"Are you alright? Come on, we should get inside, the snow's getting heavy."

The floor was covered with light coating of little white flakes already. I was sure my head was covered as well.

"Oh um… Yeah, yeah, let's get inside. Sorry," I kissed him on the cheek, feeling his lips stretching to a grin. Grabbing my mug of now lukewarm coffee and an arm wrapped around my shoulder, he kissed my forehead.

"Hey, I love you."

I could only smile and nodded. "Yeah."

He paused for a second, yet, I didn't notice the dull expression and the hurt he was having as I got into our cozy living room. The faint sound of the television surrounded our silence as I waited for him to come in. I turned to him, giving a shiver. "Hey, what's wrong? Coming in or not?"

"Yeah… Yeah, I'm coming."

My vision blurred and I realized I'd been spacing out for god knows, how long. Sighing I leaned back against my seat and put my pen down. Tired… I stared at my desk, documents and papers splayed all over. I was almost certain that it was impossible to get them all done by today.

I stared at my computer, a dozen tabs filling up the screen. They screamed for my attention, but I had none to give. God, how many emails did I have to reply? I decided to push that to the back of my mind.

"3:42…" I whispered to myself as I grabbed my cup of coffee. Empty.

Olaf...

Sighing, I pressed my fingers on my forehead, and I felt as if I was suffocating.

Turning myself around, I decided to let myself relax a little. The sky was grey and the clouds covered the surface of it. Indeed, the season was getting cooler, leaves turning to a variety of different colors, rather than their usual green. I wondered if Anna was dressing warmly.

Grinning, I laid my head on my fist, elbow pressed on the armrest. I hadn't thought about her since this morning. "It must be cold there…" I whispered to myself.

Anna and I… we'd been talking and texting each other as if everything between us were normal. We were friends—possibly, best friends. But I knew, hearing her talk about her day to me, hearing her laugh at her own joke, getting embarrassed with her own stuttering and rambling—which was par for the course for her —she sounded much happier. And I couldn't be any happier to see her shining so brightly.

Looking down, my fingers fiddled with the diamond ring. It was beautiful; the tiny stone glittered with its wonderful gleam through the light. Blue eyes stared that the small jewelry empty from any emotions, voided from any light. My heart ached, but I could no longer feel it. I was numb ... as I had always been.

"Happier with someone else…" I told myself—

Knock knock

Looking up, the door creaked open and quickly I shoved the ring back into the little box and into my pocket. "Babe?"

I turned myself around, grinning at the brown-haired woman.

"I didn't tell Olaf to let you in, did I?" I smirked, tilting my head. She rolled her eyes as she came in with a handbag filled with food. Oh, I was starving.

"Well, I don't want to starve my hard working girlfriend, so I barged in. You're not going to fire Olaf, right?"

I stared at her, grinning gently. "No." Picking up my pen again, I continued where I left off. I noticed her staring at me, eyes filled with concern, but I had no care.

"You look tense," she began.

"Mm. It's work." I looked up, eyes following her as she walked towards me. She wrapped her arms around me, lips pressed to my ear. I leaned into her; letting her loosen my tie, slowly unbutton my shirt. With her light feather touches of her fingertips lazily running under my shirt and to my shoulders, I closed my eyes.

I let out a low hum, letting my head turn to her and I kissed her neck. "I'm sorry," I said.

She shook her head. "That's alright, I'll give you a little massage, would that be okay?"

"That'd be amazing."

Immediately as she started massaging my shoulders, I sighed, leaning my head against the headrest. I rolled my right shoulder, feeling a pop and I groaned. Painful, but it was satisfying. For a while, she let her fingers squeeze against my muscles in silence.

"You've been working hard…"

"Mm." I put my hand on top of hers, rubbing my thumb on her smooth skin.

"Maybe a little too hard, don't you think? I haven't seen you taking any breaks."

"I did, just a few minutes ago."

She groaned and quickly turned herself to my front and sat atop of me, hands still massaging my shoulders. I opened my eyes, staring at her concerned face. I was confused by the way she looked at me, head tilted.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's you, that's what's wrong," she sighed and as irritated as I was with that tone, I kept my eyes at her. I remained calm, my hands slowly lifting to her laps.

"I… don't see what you mean by that," I replied, tilting my head slowly.

She loosened up quickly and chuckled, shaking her head. "Elsa, I just want you to relax sometimes. Take a few days break, if time lets—"

"Time and work doesn't, Belle. You know how it is." I turned away from her. Even without looking, I knew the smile she had before disappeared. She stopped massaging, yet her fingers squeezed tightly on my shoulders. I forced my teeth together, enduring the sharp pain from the right.

"I just…"

My fingers twitched and slowly, I stole a glimpse of her. Her head was down, and I swore I heard a sniffle. I frowned, turning my attention completely to her.

"Belle…"

"I… I just want to spend some time with you, Elsa…" She looked up and god, she was holding her tears in with all her might. I wondered, if she had been crying alone while I was out there… working my ass off. And by working my ass off, it let me forget about Anna. Belle was hurt and looking at her, my heart cracked.

"Elsa…? Snowflake…" she began, her fingers caressing my cheeks. I bit my bottom lip, eyes avoiding hers. "Elsa, what do you say?" She sniffled once, and wiped her tears. How painful it was to see her trying to force out a grin.

I closed my eyes and swallowed loudly. I kissed her palm, yet I couldn't answer her. "I'll do anything for you but…" But this.

She tilted her head and I was suddenly forced to look at her. She was never this soft, yet looking at her reminded me of… her. Anna…?

"Please, Elsa… I… I feel lonely… You're always working so late in the night and I-I can't handle it—"

"I can't, babe." I pulled her hands away from me and quickly, I wrapped my arms around her waist. I She blinked, feeling a sharp tug forward. Staring down to her chest, blankly, she pulled my chin up. Our eyes met and god, chills ran down my spine. She looked so distant.

"Why not…?" she asked, almost as if she was pleading for my love. She held me in her palms and I glared, guiltily.

"I… I told you, babe. Work—"

Without notice, she pressed her lips against mine and I quickly shut my eyes. Heat quickly rushed through my body I ran my fingers into her hair. Her lips were soft, and I craved for more. So I pushed myself against her, her breasts pressed against mine. I couldn't think anymore. Her ever so gentle lips— the touch of her fingers in my hair, tugging and leaving light red marks—making me shudder, hot and cold chills crawling on my skin like ants. I couldn't breathe, completely overwhelmed by her.

"Mm…" I moaned into her—

Stop.

Slowly I pulled away, wondering why I'd given up so easily to her.

"Belle," I started and suddenly I was pulled into another eager kiss. My hands wandered, her heat against my warmth.

But I couldn't help that fact that I grinned against her eager tongue, quickly feeling her trying to take off my clothes.

Without any hesitation, I grabbed her wrists. "Not here, babe…"

She pouted. "You don't get to tell me what to do," she whispered. I could feel her breathing and god, she smelled like chocolate. I gulped, immediately freezing up as I notice the glimmering darkness, the lust… the longing of her eyes. I was hers.

"I love you," she mouthed against my lips, fingers hugging my chin.

"Mm…" I hummed, licking my lips. I had my hands on her perfectly round bottom and squeezed my hands under her tight jeans—

She froze, slowly pulling away. That concerned—no, scared look… Did I say something wrong?

I blinked. "Babe, what is it?"

Belle looked down to me, slowly putting her hands to her sides. Taking a deep breath, she hid her trembling expression with a face clear from any fear and any concern. It had nothing but a piercing stare

"Snowflake, do you love me?"

Staying quiet, my expression grew grim. Giving her a blank expression, I leaned back, staring into her pleading eyes. "Belle, what are you saying…?" I muttered, taking my hands out and cupped her chin with my fingers. "Look at me." She grimaced, wrapped her fingers between mine, and held on to me for her own dear life. Perhaps, to hold onto my love.

"I'm looking, Elsa…"

I tightened our grip, my thumb caressing hers.

"Do you love me?" she repeated.

"I do," I replied boldly, looking straight into her emptiness of her eyes. She breathed in. Ah, this coldness… I'd seen this coldness of hers before. I feared this, yet… I guess I was expecting it.

"Then say that you do. Say those three words."

With that, I turned away. Those three words were too hard to say.

"I care about you, Belle—"

Sighing, she quickly got up and I watched her grab her jacket as she reached the entrance. I quickly got up, my heart quickening with each beat. No, don't leave me again. "Belle!"

As she opened the door, she turned toward me. Hurt filled her expression, and I couldn't help but feel the same way. I felt sorry and once again, I was filled with regret.

But as painful as it was for both of us at that moment, she gave me a small smile. "Eat alright? I'll see you back home. I love you."

"Belle, I—"

"It's okay, you don't have to say it. I know you love me very much." She nodded, looking down to the ground. "Take your time… you don't have to say it now. I'll see you back home in a few hours."

She shut the door before I could say anything. Slowly I sat back down, unable to run through what I'd done.

I put my hand on my chest and I took a deep staggering breath. It was just hurting too much, aching for a relief, for someone else… for Anna.

Staring emptily to the ground below me, the inside of me was boiling. So I let it out with a sob, an arm pressed over my eyes. What a pathetic person I was. I leaned back into my seat, head tilted up to the ceiling.

An apologetic tear rolled down my cheek and my whole world quickly crumbled into broken pieces of hurtful memories. But that was okay, of course.

"I'm a monster…"

We were quiet when I got home, seeing Belle swaying her legs front and back, sitting on the piano.

It was dark and the only light source was from the streetlights outside the living room.

Staring at her, I was mesmerized. The beauty of her back, visible from her white shirt was mesmerizing. But she looked into the distance, through the glass wall, sorrow leaking out of her brown colored pupils. Leaning against the wall, near the entrance, I tugged my tie off.

It was already well over 10PM and I'd yet to talk anything with her. Or rather, I'd not thought about it. Still, some words were needed to comfort her—to convince her that indeed, I was still loving her.

"I'm home."

She blinked, and the room brightened up as I flicked on the light switch. Still, she didn't say anything, eyes turned to me. Sadness. Disappointment. It scared me.

Relaxing myself, I rolled my sleeves up and walked up to her. "Belle, I—"

"I've been trying to get you to talk to Anna Smith, day by day…" She looked down, fingers sliding across the smooth surface of the piano. She chuckled, bitterness filling the silent haunting air. "What makes her so special that you can't even say three simple words to me?"

Special?

I tilted my head, stopping my walk towards her. "We've been…" I looked down to my hands. "She and I, we were friends… something special—"

"Something that… tore you two apart."

That was wrong. I shut my eyes. "Belle…"

"Elsa…" She looked at me and now, I realized, how painful her expression looked, how many tears she had to hold in. I walked up to her slowly and with soft, careful fingers, I caressed her cheek. With my thumb on her lower lip she let out a shuddering sigh.

I leaned in, an arm by her side. Her eyes were still, dilated, blank, but I was apologetic. "What can I say to make you feel better…?" I whispered, letting her lean into the coldness of my palm.

"Anything that'll tell me that you truly love me," she breathed a warm, comforting breath and I felt my heart jump. I let out a small grin and leaned in to her warm, inviting lips with mine. With the frigidness—the loneliness I'd been having all these years, she warmed me up with her sun kissed skin, her touches, and her smooth lips. I hummed silently, having her all for me.

We pulled away shortly after, a smile forming across her cheeks. The taste of ourselves lingered on each other. Too sweet of a taste, I'd must say.

"Is that good enough for you, my Queen?" I sighed, her arms slowly hugging my neck.

She gave out a graceful giggle, eyes too embarrassed to look up front. "That's more than enough. I love you too, Elsa."

I nodded, fingers burrowed deeply in her brown strands. "I'm sorry…"

She kissed me again. "Take your time, okay? Anna should be calling soon… if you want to eat, you may—"

"I ate," I replied. She nodded, lips under her teeth. I wondered if she'd ever let it go.

"Well then… I'll be in my room, if you need anything, alright?"

The room Anna used to sleep in?

I shook my head. No, it'd been Belle's room before Anna even came in. "Of course, I'll come to you when I'm done, fine by you?"

"Fine by me."

With another slow, gentle kiss—but it was almost as if we'd no way of wanting to pull away from each other's touch. With our lips together and our arms holding us closely, I suddenly felt safe. Possibly, she found her own comfort and reassurance.

We let ourselves part ways. "I'll see you in bed," she breathed, wet lips warm against mine. Ah, one last kiss should suffice.

Nodding, I pecked her once more. "I'll be quick, don't worry."

Belle shook her head with a laugh. "Oh, I'm not worried. Anna… I trust her. I trust you too. It'll be fine."

Was it fine, if she questioned my feelings towards her?

She doesn't look fine.

My eyes fell into hers, letting her back away from me with her hands slowly sliding off mine. "I trust you, Snowflake," she grinned—a painful grin, really. "I'll see you in a few minutes."

Putting my hands in my pocket, I nodded.

The door to the bedroom shut and I stood next to the piano in silence. Staring down to the floor, there was my reflection, blurred from the black marble ground. I felt empty on the inside and slowly, Belle's soft cries ringed into my ears.

The clock ticked through the soft cries and pleas of Belle's voice.

Sighing, I leaned against the piano, running my palm through my hair.

I allowed myself to stand there while engulfed by the sound of her cries. It ended quickly and possibly, she was still in bed, her hand against her lips so she wouldn't make any sound that would worry me. But I worried. I cared.

Belle just needed some time alone, and as for me… I needed the time to be with the one that I felt most comfortable with.

Grabbing a glass of cold water, I walked into my room. I sat behind my computer and my heart quickly skipped a beat, finding multiple messages from Anna.

"Where are you? I tried calling you." –Sent, Wednesday, 9:55PM

"Pick up! Come onnnnnn!" –Sent, Wednesday, 10:03PM

"SERIOUSLY! If you don't answer my calls before Hans comes home, I'm going to tell your girlfriend how you don't reply. I bet she's going to scold you a whole bunch and it's not going to be my fault." –Sent, Wednesday, 10:08PM

"Elsa Snow, we're not friends anymore." –Sent, Wednesday, 10:12PM

"Let's be more than just friends, I'm sorry." –Sent, Wednesday, 10:13PM

"Elsa… I love you." –Sent, Wednesday, 10:13PM

"Answer me… I need you…" –Sent, Wednesday, 10:14PM

"My heart hurts… it hurts to remember memories… it hurts to know how hurt you are. We can't even say three simple words to each other without questioning our feelings. I'm sorry…" –Sent, Wednesday, 10:20PM

I blinked, frozen in my seat as I read those last three replies over and over again. No, this wasn't happening —this couldn't happen. Tears welled up in my eyes but I held myself together because I knew, Anna wouldn't say that. I was the one at fault and, for her to say sorry, it made no sense.

With my heart pounding and shaking, my stomach flipping upside down, inside out, I quickly pressed the video chat button. She appeared immediately with a giant grin across her face.

"Anna…"

"Hey, Snowflake!" There was barking and smiling lightly, I knew it was Sitron in the background. "H-Hey, stop, it, Sitron! My food, not yours! H-Hey, down! Not on the bed! G-God damn it…" she groaned, turning to me. "Sorry, can you… can you hold on for a second, I need to kick him out."

I nodded silently, watching the feisty redhead shooing the German Shepherd out of the room. She breathed heavily, sitting down as if just pushing the big dog out was a big task.

"Sorry, that was… Sitron's not like this… usually," she said, shrugging. I chuckled, leaning against my chair, and Belle was pushed to the back of my mind.

"That's alright." I fell silent, looking down to my keyboard. Those texts…

"Anna, what you said… You're not…" I sighed, eyes clear and right on hers. She looked serious, confused perhaps. "You're not being serious, right?"

She tilted her head, looking down. Nevertheless, I was in pain, pleading for her forgiveness—But also, pleading her say that yes, it was a joke. For me to be with someone like her again, I found it to be ridiculous. To have her let me in again, meant that she'd let her feelings get hurt once again. I didn't want that. What I wanted was her happiness. Not this… whatever this was.

But she could have this joy with Hans.

She stared at me, frozen in her spot as I was before.

I shut my eyes, shaking my head. "Anna… we… I've hurt you, we can't go back to the way—"

"Why not?"

I opened my eyes. Was she serious? I turned away from her, unable to speak.

"I want to," I whispered. "I want this so badly as you do..." Chuckling, I couldn't — wouldn't — let myself stare at her. Of course, sensing this quietness, I knew how badly she wanted love. But this couldn't be what she wanted. No, I couldn't be someone she needed. "… But you said it. We're better off as just being friends—"

Suddenly she was laughing, hands grabbing her abdomen. My heart stopped. Had she gone insane?

"Oh my god, Elsa! I was… I was just kidding! The expression you had, oh my god!"

I glared at the screen. "Kidding…?"

She wiped the tears she had, giggling still. "Y-Yeah, kidding. Come on, take a joke! I haven't seen you have any fun these past few days."

That wasn't fun. In fact, what she said was anything but fun and I felt hopeless, hurt, betrayed.

"Anna…"

"Yeah?"

"Are you drunk?" The redhead paused, looking at me closely when I turned away from her.

"N-No, I'm not… Why would you even…" Yet, I had the guts to say, I didn't believe her. She shifted in her seat as I stayed still, shoulders slumped. This feeling that washed over me, from this so called joke… I felt desperate. It was a joke, yet I took it too seriously. Even if it was just a joke… just a little something that implied the cold love that we had, I realized how much I needed her—how much I cared for and loved her.

Love? Hm…

The concept of true love seemed so easy, yet, acting upon it didn't seem so easy.

I sighed, nodding. "Good… I don't want Hans to deal with the drunk you."

Because I've dealt with you once, I never want to do that again.

"Did I… Did I make you angry?" I looked at her and grinned gently—hopefully, she wouldn't notice the sadness behind it because god forbid, if she thought everything was her fault again, I would never forgive myself.

I leaned forward to my desk, chuckling with amusement. Whether I faked or not, I wouldn't know.

Anna smiled.

"Sorry, you just… I was caught off-guard, that's all," I told her. "You got me good, Anna."

"Good, good, I just wanted to see you relax. You always seem so tense, is all." She sighed, leaning back in her seat. "So… are you alright? It doesn't look like you've gotten any sleep…"

She seemed worried, but… why?

I ran my fingers through my fringes. "I've… been busy."

But yes, I've gotten sleep. Just, I'd wake up early enough for the sky to still be dark, the streets still empty from any human presence. I wanted to indulge myself with work, feelings put aside. It'd helped, of course.

Anna looked as if she didn't believe me. "You know… I'm not there, but I do know when you're lying. I was your girlfriend too, Elsa… Your submissive, as well."

What could I say? She sounded so sincere as if she still wanted to give her heart to me. Her eyes were filled with worry, arms wrapped around her. She seemed tensed even after all that fun she had. I sighed, finger tapping on my table. "I've been sleeping late, waking up too early. I just can't sleep, that's all."

She understood, nodding. "Dreams again, right?"

"Well… yes."

Anna remained quiet for a while, as did I. Through the dark room, I could barely see her chewing on her lip. But I knew how upset she was right now, by the emptiness of her expression.

"Anna, don't get upset. This has nothing to do with you," I started, unconviningly, I'd say.

"How? How can you say that?" she replied, leaning close to the screen. I'd almost shut my eyes from preventing myself to even look at the desperate look of her eyes. "How can you say… after everything that happened between both of us… how can you say this has nothing to do with me? I was the reason you're with Belle, I was the reason you've been miserable—"

"No," I growled, teeth grinding together angrily. I'd had enough. "No you were not, Anna Smith. I've never blamed you. All this, it is all on me, you hear?"

She stayed still, shoulders quickly slouching down. "I care about you, Elsa…"

I took in the air, heavy and sad, shakily. "And I do too, and I'm absolute grateful that I've met you, Anna. But, what I've done is all on me."

Nodding silently, she ran her palms on her cheeks. Of course, we looked dead so depressed. How were we living like this? I hadn't smiled, in a genuine manner, for a long time now. I wondered how she was keeping herself together like this.

Anna breathed out, looking above to the ceiling. "It's… only been a month since then, and every time, we talked about this. I'm exhausted, Elsa."

"And how exactly do you think I feel at this moment, Anna Smith?"

She looked at me. "Tired." Her expression looked blank—dead. "You clearly are. But we're with someone we both love, so… I'm happy. Tired, but happy."

I nodded, unable to even look at the glimmer of light through her teal eyes. "Happy… I'm glad," I replied, with no desire of smiling. And neither was she.

"And you?"

"I'm okay."

This silence was deafening. After all these years of separation, we were running around in circles again. But for how long until we would run out of breath? How long would it take for us to turn back and look at each other with honesty, commitment, love?

But that wish was impossible.

We'd done harm to each other for so long, with so many things. I could not go back from all the pain that made us how we were now. I felt hopeless.

"So, how's Belle?"

I blinked from my daze. "Excuse me?"

She sighed. "I said, how's Belle? Honestly, Elsa. After this, you better be going to sleep, you're not even listening to me. I'm even trying to break this awkwardness —"

Grinning sadly, my thoughts came back to the whimpering and her questioning of my feelings. "She's fine, Anna. I'm surprised you're even asking about her."

Do you even love me, Elsa? Why can't you say those three simple words to me?

I shook my head from her bitter words, voice trembling as if she was at the verge of breaking apart—like how I'd been watching others crumble down.

Anna shrugged. "You've seen me talk to her a couple of times—"

"No, I've heard some bits and pieces. From you, not from her."

She rolled her eyes.

"You know how I get with your eye rolling."

Quickly the redhead burst into a loud laughter and immediately, I realized how atrocious I sounded despite the fact that we both knew I was joking. Grinning, I laid my head on my fist, waiting for that lovely laughter to end. It was music to my ears—filled with her happiness. That was my Anna.

"God, Elsa, you're funny, has anyone told you that?"

"No, well, you. It's just you."

Anna giggled again, biting her lip. "You're funny."

Was this a moment where I should take a bow?

I nodded with appreciation, chuckling. "I'm glad you find me funny."

"Mhm. Hey Elsa, when Hans comes home, could you please do me a favor?"

I blinked, tilting my head slightly in confusion. "A favor? Anna, it's 10PM here. Hans isn't home yet?"

She shrugged. "You know how it is. Work stuff. You're no different either."

Well, I couldn't argue with that. I shut my mouth and let out an exhausting sigh. "So, a favor?"

And I already knew this was going to be bad, hearing the air being sucked into her lungs as she took in a breath. I forced myself not to say no before she even said another word. Oh, I could endure. In fact, it was quite amusing to hear her ramble. "Well, you see, a week ago, I was going on a date with Hans in 14th street and I found this really cute pet place. There were puppies and cats and everything…"

She kept going. Had five minutes passed since she'd been fawning over little animals? Oh, of course, I'd never get enough of her speaking, as funny as she was sounding. Though, I wasn't paying attention—well, paying very little attention—I gave her nods and shakes of my head, even with a little 'hm' to hide from her suspicion. Ah, I'd feel bad for Hans if she'd do this day by day.

They'd been friends for years, I was sure Hans would be used to this.

"… So, my point is, I want a little kitty, but Hans won't let me get it."

I raised my eyebrows. "And why is that?"

"Because we have a dog already and he takes up space. Elsa, I need a kitty!"

"You… need?"

"Yes, need!"

"Not at all want?"

"Well, that too, but I need one. It's too cute to not have. Plus, animal shelters are horrible." She was suddenly all excited as if I'd agreed to anything she would said. I chuckled, shaking my head, completely entertained by her joyous expression. Yes, this was the Anna I'd always wanted to see.

"Anna," I sat up straight. "Hans… he has a point. A dog like Sitron is enough. And you wouldn't want Sitron to scare the poor cat—he's way too big."

"He's not big!"

"He's up to your thighs, cutie."

Anna pouted, crossing her arms. "I'm disappointed in you. I thought I could rely on my ex."

I shrugged. This was amazing—a normal conversation between the two of us without getting miserable. Yes, it was what both of us wanted. "Well, you're cute when you pout, so it wouldn't affect me."

"You said I'm cute, so it should affect you. Please convince him, please, I'm begging you. I'll love you forever!"

I wish.

Chuckling, I crossed my arms. "We'll talk about this tomorrow. It's late here and I have to go sleep—"

"Like, really, really sleep?"

I rolled my eyes.

"You know how I get with eye rolling," she mocked. God, I couldn't believe this woman. After a few cheerful laughters—as wonderful as it was to see her in tears from joy, rather than the misery she was in—I replied, "Yes, I promise, I'll sleep."

Anna nodded. "Cool, then I'll talk to you tomorrow. Remember, cat, alright? Convince him."

"Anything for you, Anna."

"Okay…" She stared at me. But why? Why stare at me with a look that reminded me of the time she left me? The time her warm fingertips slipped away from mine, leaving me cold and isolated from her world? I hadn't notice I'd been making the same expression. We'd been apart for so long and now… even now, we couldn't let ourselves—our dark, dark feelings—go.

I pressed a hand on the screen, rubbing her cheek. "I have to go," I murmured.

She was on the verge of tears, but I knew, I have no say on whether she should cry or not. It'd been awful for us so she might as well, let it out with one big sob. But of course, we'd been crying for too much, for long. We were weak, now we needed to be strong.

With the tight smile I'd always recognize, she waved again. "I'll see you later, Elsa."

"Of course. I'll catch you later."

The goodbye felt cold. Not even the grin we left each other off with made us feel warm on the inside. What had we become?

Opening the door to Belle's bedroom, I saw she was laid on the side. She wasn't sleeping, I knew. Our conversation had been bothering me and perhaps, even her. But, maybe, the night sky glowing with snow and streetlights were too bright, the wind roaring through the starry sky was why she'd be awake at this time.

I managed to close the curtains, looking at Belle. She seemed to be at peace… well, from this angle, that is.

Slowly walking to the bed, I took my shirt off and slowly got under the blanket. Ah, she was still crying. I looked at her, eyes closed but a single tear falling across her nose. Grinning tightly, I kissed her tear goodbye and wrapped my arms around her, tucking her head under my chin. "Good night, love," I whispered. She flinched, whimpering but she didn't open her eyes. Belle wouldn't dare to.

I pressed my lips on her forehead, fingers running through her hair.

Instantly, she relaxed at the sound of my voice singing beautiful notes to her.

"You sound beautiful…" she breathed.

I closed my eyes. "Thank you."

"I love you."

"And I you."

Silence filled the air, the wind bursting against the glass window. But it was warm in here with her staying nuzzled in my arms, legs wrapped around mine. She was my comfort, who I always had to come back for. My addiction.

But I was chained to her, needing her to soothe my from my heartache. She loved me and I could not let her go. As if I had been chained to her when I wanted release. I was her prisoner.