Me Commercial Husband

Hello. Me husband from TV commercials. Me always have trouble with things around house. When me change baby’s diaper, me get confused and make big mess while baby laughs and pees on me. When me try be handyman and fix kitchen sink by self, me just get sprayed in face by comically timed blast of water. Also entire house floods. Oops! Me such a klutz! It just so funny when me husband do stupid husband thing.

Me lucky though. Me have smart wife. Smart wife always know how to fix mistakes me make. Smart wife just smile and shake head at me husband, then go out and buy perfect product or service to solve problem. In fact, smart wife make upward of 80% of purchasing decisions in household according to some estimates. This great because me no like shop. Me exclusively like drink beer and watch big game. Smart wife so, so smart at doing shop!

Plus smart wife at least two or three notches hotter than me husband, even though me disturbingly incompetent.

Me think it good thing TV commercials always show smart wife’s big smartness. But smart wife disagree. Smart wife say this advertising trope, although superficially empowering in its portrayal of women, is inherently condescending and demeaning to both sexes. Smart wife say the advertising industry’s habitual reliance on lazy, regressive gender stereotypes, beyond merely insulting the intelligence of consumers, actively contributes to the climate of casual sexism that pervades virtually every aspect of modern American society.

Me like sound of smart wife’s fancy words, and me would agree with smart wife except me no understand what smart wife saying, because, again, me just fucking moron commercial husband.

Oh well. Me go try make dinner for family now. Too bad me no know how to prepare simple meal! Somehow smoke now coming from oven and spaghetti on ceiling fan! Ha ha! Smart wife laughing too—in fact she laughing so hard she sobbing uncontrollably.

Get it together, smart wife! Me husband make screw up so it time smart wife go to store now. Outmoded gender norms not going reinforce selves!