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ST. PAUL -- A St. Paul charter school is divided over what to do for a 5-year-old boy who wears long blond curls and eschews a shirt and pants for a jumper with tights.

Two sets of parents pulled their kindergartners out of Nova Classical Academy this school year after school officials announced they’d be “taking steps to support a student who is gender non-conforming.”

But advocates for the boy say the school hasn’t gone far enough to stand up for students whose gender expression doesn’t match their sex.

“The school, I’d say, is doing a mediocre job in supporting this family because they’re allowing some parents to run the show,” said Ali Yocom, co-chair of Transforming Families, a peer-led support group.

In October, the school told parents it was planning to hold classroom conversations around a series of transgender-friendly books in order to make the boy feel accepted and included. A large number of parents opted out of the sessions, which were revised to a reading of a passage about children whose gender identities don’t align with gender norms.

School leaders since have organized a task force to consider curricular changes, adopted a resolution of support and held an information session about gender identity.

“Transgender is new to a lot of people,” Nova executive director Eric Williams said. “If we don’t make intentional efforts to educate kids on certain things … we are going to be putting out fires all the time.”

Jamie Knippel, who has three children attending Nova, doesn’t understand why the school in Jamie Knippel, who has three children attending Nova, doesn’t understand why the school in St. Paul’s West End has paid special attention to transgender students. She said it should be enough for the school to teach all kids to be kind to each other and then address bullying case by case.

has paid special attention to transgender students. She said it should be enough for the school to teach all kids to be kind to each other and then address bullying case by case.

“We are virtuous around everybody, no matter who you are,” she said, echoing the principles of the school’s classical education model. “You just see someone and you’re kind.”

A book that staff members chose for teaching about gender nonconforming students “takes it to a different level. … I’m not only kind to you, I have to tell you this is good and right,” Knippel said.

Lauren Selberg, whose child started school at Nova this year, is concerned that very young students are learning about gender identity when sex education doesn’t start until fifth grade.

“I’ve talked to social workers in other districts who think it’s not an age-appropriate conversation in kindergarten and first grade,” she said.

Nova, with a sparkling academic record, has a K-12 enrollment of 932 and a waiting list that’s even larger. Knippel said some parents are concerned that they’re losing the culture that has made the school a success.

Williams didn’t want to speak about the kindergartner’s case specifically, but said “I believe we’re absolutely doing the right thing” when it comes to gender identity.

However, the school has not yet had “active conversations,” Williams said, about allowing students to use restrooms that align with their gender identity, rather than their sex at birth.

“We haven’t addressed that issue,” he said. “It is a sticky wicket.”

The Minnesota State High School League last year passed a policy allowing student-athletes to play for the teams and use the locker rooms that match their gender identity.

St. Paul Public Schools subsequently enacted a gender-inclusion policy enabling students to use the restrooms of their choice. Mary Hoelscher, Out for Equity program specialist, said 21 St. Paul district students so far have formally changed their gender in school district records.

Jill Gaulding, co-founder of the nonprofit legal aid organization Gender Justice, is representing the Nova kindergartner and his parents. She said the school ought to state clearly that state and federal laws require schools to protect gender nonconforming students.

Meanwhile, a group of parents opposed to further accommodations for the boy have obtained a legal opinion asserting otherwise. And on Tuesday, the parents and the Minnesota Family Council will hold a meeting at the school to work against what the council called “transgender activism.”

While schools everywhere are grappling with gender identity, transgender advocates say policy changes have gone rather smoothly in the rest of Minnesota.

“I’ve seen schools that have really embraced all kids, no matter who they are, how they’ve expressed themselves,” Yocom said.

The secular private Mounds Park Academy this school year enacted a policy similar to that of St. Paul Public Schools. Head of school Bill Hudson said his initial email to parents about his gender-inclusion plans drew about 30 responses.

“They were all positive. They were all really affirming about ‘This is why we send our kids to Mounds Park Academy,’ ” he said.