“Life is a sum of all your choices.” — Albert Camus

Christmas Night 1989, my life flashed before me.

I stood by the entrance of a convenience store with my little sister, looking at a gun pointed at my temple.

In the next few seconds my heart played the drums, and my skin sweat like a sticky summer day.

A stranger demanded the Walkman my mother gave me for Christmas. I handed it over and walked away with something priceless in return: A new appreciation for the value of life.

That same year I discovered my father’s battle with AIDS.

I struggled with my own battles including a brief stay at a halfway house as a victim of domestic abuse.

But nothing illuminates what’s truly important like a near-death experience.

It clarified the first step in building permanent habits and a fulfilled life.

Purpose

“If you don’t build your dream someone will hire you to help build theirs.” — Tony Gaskins

Habits should be deeply personal. No amount of growth hacking or habit building will succeed if your why is someone else’s.

Find your why. There’s no greater motivator than clarity of purpose.

Strategy

“Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.” — J.K. Rowling Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

There is no one path to success. There are many paths.

This may sound strange coming from the author of Think Smart Not Hard: 52 Key Principles To Success And Happiness.

But one of those principles is flexibility. What works for me, may not work for you. What works for you may not work for others.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything.

Pick a strategy, and make a plan that you’re most likely to follow. A clear plan with specific daily actions will simplify habit building.

Make it real. Keep it simple.

Routine

“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. ” — Jeff Olson

The difference between living a fulfilled life and the life of a zombie is awareness.

Everyone has a routine. The absence of routine is its own routine.

Identify and record your average day, even if that means highlighting what’s missing. Drop the unessential. Add what you need.

Superglue new effective habits to existing ones.

Attaching new habits to old ones is an effective strategy that makes your habits stick.

Size

“If you can’t do great things, do small things in a great way.” — Napoleon Hill

Habits make skipping actions harder than doing them. So do whatever it takes to form those habits.

You can apply a one-minute trick to any new habit. Schedule your desired habit on your calendar for one minute. Do it early and do it daily. Consistency is the secret sauce.

Once you’ve formed your new habit, add one more minute each day or whatever works best for you.

You become what you think about. Mini habits build anticipation. They keep the vision in your mind.

Once you solidify your habits, feel free to 10X your actions. But when habits are new, overdoing it robs you of tomorrow’s desire. Doing less than what is possible eliminates resistance to getting started.

Motivation is nice. It can inspire action. But you will have bad days. Why rely on motivation when you can make it obsolete?

Anticipation

“The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry” — John Steinbeck

As you read these words, I’ve busted my routine and habits over the last few days. The reason: I’m sick.

Life happens. Expect setbacks. It’s not a question of if but when.

But planning for setbacks will only get you so far. You can’t see every obstacle or interruption.

The solution requires flexibility and the right mindset.

When the unexpected crushes your momentum, fight back with persistence. Progress won’t disappear because of a day, a week, or even a month.

The connections you’ve built in your brain remain part of you. While they may fade with time, they never completely vanish. Use this to your advantage.

Think of habits like riding a bike. You might get a little rusty when you lose momentum. But persistence vanquishes life’s rust and deepens your mental pathways.

Reflection & accountability

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” — Søren Kierkegaard

Evidence supports the strategy of weekly reflection and added accountability.

Give yourself the greatest chance of building permanent habits. Reflect often, and find an accountability partner.