I’ll tell you what I really admire about Donald Trump: he invented a haircut. OK, it doesn’t look good. It looks like someone shaved a golden retriever, then glued half of the hair on to Boss Nass, king of the Gungans. But if you think it’s easy to come up with something new, give it a try. And how about that weird, infantile yet camp phrasing he uses on Twitter? Do you see what an achievement it is to invent your own syntax? Very hard!

Trump’s face, huge tie, baggy suit and narcissistic manner all make him – apologies for this – iconic. Easily recognisable when reduced to a few essential elements, he represents our moment in history. He crops up a lot in the excellent exhibition Hope to Nope: Graphics and Politics 2008-18 at the Design Museum in London, which demonstrates that good design is an elusive, amoral quantity. Shepard Fairey’s Obama poster struck a chord around the world, becoming a totem for change. When a different demographic saw the same possibility in a red trucker’s cap, we didn’t like it so much. The Make America Great Again slogan is written in Times New Roman, the world’s default font, and was seen as conveying an unaffected, everyman appeal. Genius, or lazy luck?

As the exhibition also shows, the most potent, DIY form of graphic design is the meme, knocked up in seconds, around the world in minutes. I’m a sucker for a political meme. I admire their verbal dexterity and subversive visual content. I laugh out loud at Obama-Biden bromance cartoons and Free Melania gifs. I miss the less-problematic days when Jeremy Corbyn eating a Pringle did big numbers. I loved the handmade Women’s March placards from around the world, shared on Instagram: “We shall overcomb”. “Super callous, fragile, racist, sexist, lying Potus”. The child wearing a sandwich board that reads: “I love naps, but I stay woke”? He really is the absolute boy.

There are a lot of subversive images in Hope to Nope, including a pro-Trump Star Wars parody, Rogue Won, by rightwing street artist Sabo, which was plastered over Hollywood’s bus stops. This was eye-opening because I didn’t realise that a) Hollywood had bus stops, and b) there was such a thing as a rightwing street artist. But there is, and they use the same tools as leftwing ones. A quick search throws up a parallel world of my favourite meme images – Morpheus, Evil Kermit, toasting DiCaprio – all with conservative messages. There’s also a darker, more particular realm that I never see, of six-pointed stars, niqabs and Pepe the Frog content that is as toxic as it is popular. (I sacrificed my “Amazon recommends” algorithm to bring you this news, so let. it. sink. in.)

Clearly, the memes on our side are essential, inspiring, unifying! The opponents’ are reductive, disingenuous, demagogic. But all bypass the need for prolonged thinking, relying instead on quick impact. They trade on what we already believe, making them perfect currency for an echo chamber.

Factchecking, activism and proper debate are way more work than adding a filter to a profile photo, and I only do that once a year. But there are limits to a purely visual society, and politics by meme does not serve us. There’s a thought I’m drawn to, by pioneering computer scientist John McCarthy: “As the Chinese say, 1001 words is worth more than a picture.” Having said that, I only remember the sentence because it’s short and funny. And at 60 characters, makes for a perfect tweet. Sobering!

Jeremy Meeks and Chloe Green. Photograph: Swan Gallet/WWD/REX/Shutterstock

A model citizen



Hot felon news! The life of Jeremy Meeks, convicted criminal turned modelling hottie, has taken another step towards becoming the Great Expectations of the internet age. Jez, or Ol’ Blue Steal as I call him, is rumoured to be expecting a baby with Chloe Green, heiress to the Topshop empire. So, the Meeks really will inherit the earth.

I’d say a biopic can’t be far behind, but usually when they make a film about someone’s life, they find a more attractive actor to play them. Steven Hawking? Eddie Redmayne. Ray Charles? Jamie Foxx. They’re not going to find anyone hotter than this guy, unless Brad Pitt Benjamin Buttons himself back to 1995, or Freddie Ljungberg agrees to do it in his underpants. Seriously, I can’t concentrate on writing this, with his picture up. The cheekbones, the smouldering stare. Not to mention the hot tattoos, particularly that one on his forearm– what does it say: “Crip”? As in insanely violent US gang the Crips? Or maybe he really likes crisps, and is bad at spelling? What about the teardrop under his lovely blue eye? It must mean he’s sensitive. What a total dreamboat.

Where next for Magwitch? I wonder if he has a Topshop collaboration in the pipeline, other than the one that’s currently foetal. I hear stripes are coming back. They should do a range of clothes to accompany babies through that difficult first year, from newborn to toddler. Meeks x Weeks, they could call it. They would make an absolute killing. The trick is to get the jump on your competitors – GBH&M, Abercrombie & Snitch, et al. Seasons change, and fashion is an unpredictable, unforgiving environment you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wants out. Or back in.

Streetfighting plan

So, Streetfighter II is going to be turned into a TV series. Hardly a bolt from the blue, as they turned it into a TV series at least once before. But big news for actors of colour, considering most TV shows are still less diverse than an arcade game released in 1991. Zangief, Chun-Li, Eddie Honda, Vega – all beefy roles. Not that they have a shot. Producers may go with Ben Kingsley as Dhalsim. Apart from that it will probably be Tom Hardy playing M Bison, and every other character. With Boris Johnson as Blanka. Hard to catch a break in this town.