You might remember one specific moment where the truth about your sexuality suddenly hit you — or, as one girl below put it, her "Oh, sh*t, I'm gay" moment. Below, 30 people recall the moments they knew they weren't straight.

"When I was in middle school, I realized that the reason that I loved Taylor Swift wasn't that I wanted to be Taylor Swift, but because I had a crush on her. I also started having what I eventually realized was a crush on a girl at school. Being bisexual can be an odd experience, because it can be very easy to brush aside your own identity for a long time before realizing that you're capable of being in love with more than one gender."— Mimi, 17

"I had always felt a bit different, especially when I went out with guys. It just didn't feel right. I knew my sophomore year of college when I went to a Friendsgiving and saw a female friend of mine dancing. The feeling I felt in my gut...well I just knew. I identify as gay now." — Haley, 22

"There were a lot of signs in my childhood that I ignored, but the first time I was self-aware of my sexual identity was when I watched a video from the musical Fun Home. It was a clip from the song 'Changing my Major' (a song about a girl who realizes that she is a lesbian). Emily Skeggs (the girl) came out in briefs and knee socks and I thought, 'Wow I'm definitely not straight,'and it spiraled from there." — Kelli, 17

"When I was in seventh grade, I had a crush on a girl. I was unable to talk to her normally and was so shy around her and I didn't know why. It wasn't until years later that I realized I liked her romantically. I still wasn't sure about my sexuality, though, until my freshman year of high school when I met a girl at a concert and we immediately clicked. Hours into the festival, after spending all day together, we started holding hands, putting our arms around each other, leaning on each other's shoulders. I wanted to kiss her, and I had no doubt in my mind that I liked girls. I'm bisexual, but honestly, I lean more toward girls." — Meg, 16

"I was 18 and a sophomore in college. There was a girl in my English class who I couldn't stop thinking about. I thought, 'Maybe I just really want to be her friend?' But it was more than that. I knew that I was starting to get feelings for her. I was scared because I had never felt this way about another girl, and I didn't know if it was okay to feel that way. I cried my eyes out alone in my dorm, just worried what people would think of me if it had ever come out that I liked a girl."— Amber, 21

"Even when I was little, I always found I had an attraction toward both males and females. I realized that I had a crush on one of my best girl friends when I was young, and whenever I played with Barbies, I would always have same-sex Barbie couples." — Hannah, 18

"The moment I realized I was attracted to girls was back in eighth grade when I developed a crush on one of my best friends. It was the first 'real' crush I had ever really had. Since I knew that she liked girls, too, I think that helped me realize that it was a possibility for us to be together. We were pretty much attached at the hip already so that deepened my affection for her. I started thinking that maybe I was just attracted to HER, not girls. But then I realized that there were other signs in my childhood that pointed towards the fact that I've probably always liked girls, such as a memory from second grade when I found this one particular friend very beautiful and I remember always wanting to hug her or just be around her. That's the clearest earliest moment that I can think of, but falling for my friend in eighth grade was what made me realize this whole other side to me." — Josefina, 18

"My 'Oh, sh*t, I'm gay' moment happened when I was 16 and watching an Indiana Jones movie marathon. The third film had always been my favorite, and I never consciously understood why. Turns out I had a huge crush on the female lead, not Harrison Ford." — Katharine, 21

"One of the earliest things I remember is looking at my best girl friend in middle school and knowing that I felt very strongly for her, almost too strongly for just a friendship. I always wanted to be with her any chance I could get. After a few years of putting all of myself into a friendship, I realized that maybe I cared for her in a way she couldn't care for me back. I repressed it for so long and said to myself, 'I still like guys so I can't like girls,' so often that I would just try to keep every thought or feeling for another girl out of my head. The feelings started to get too much to control when I was around 18. That was when I finally started to try to accept it for myself. It took until I was a month shy of 20 to come out to my first friend." — Kate, 21

"I always knew as a child that I was queer, but lacked the understanding and vocabulary to properly categorize myself. I remember in kindergarten saying I wanted to marry a girl, which shocked my parents." — Livia, 20

"I remember watching Daniela Bianchi in From Russia with Love (the James Bond movie) with my dad when I was no older than six. She was curved like a Barbie doll. That was probably one of the first times I really thought about the female body and that I was any bit attracted to the ladies as well as the men. I think I sort of confused attraction with body envy. It was not until I was around 11 or 12 when I sat downstairs watching, rewinding, and re-watching the scene in Titanic where you got to see Kate Winslet's boob that I realized it was more than just a little girl wanting to have a womanly figure. I was bisexual." — Gigi, 22

"I'm bisexual and gender fluid. I had my first crush on a girl at summer camp in second grade, but I didn't realize I was gender fluid until I was much older. I spent several years at a time in periods of hyper-femininity and hyper-masculinity. It was constant confusion over whether I was a cisgender girl or a transgender guy. About halfway through high school, I got involved in the LGBT+ community when I became open about my sexuality, and I learned about non-binary genders and genderfluidity through my school's gay-straight alliance. It was exciting to suddenly have an explanation for all the ambiguity surrounding my own identity." — Arin, 17



"During my freshman year, my best friend in the world slowly turned into my crush. She was gay and she would talk about one person or another that had feelings for her, and at one point I realized that I was one of those people." — Julia, 17

"I don't really have a memory of not being attracted to just boys, but the first time I acted on that, I was nine and I made out with my female friend. I didn't realize what that meant really until I was 12-ish and connected the dots like, 'Oh, wait, that's not normal. That means I'm queer.' I've never thought of it as a bad thing, but I've always been very aware of my parent's negative views on that. (They're very, very Christian, very involved in the church, and my mom is very southern.) As far as my gender goes, when I was eight or nine I really, really wanted to be a boy, but since then I've decided I feel more fluid or gender-neutral." — Makayla, 17

"My whole life, I always knew something was different about me. I always wanted to be super close with some of my friends that were girls and got along better with most of the guys. In eighth grade, one of my friends came out to me as bisexual, and when I asked her what that was, her description explained the feelings I had been having my whole life. I never had crushes on male celebrities or wondered who my Prince Charming would be. I dated men when I was younger, but it never worked out. My relationships mostly ended because I just became uninterested or too uncomfortable. I realized after awhile I was dating these guys to have a companion, not because I was attracted to them. I've accepted that as awesome as guys can be, they just aren't for me. I'm a lesbian." — Jen, 21

"I'm bisexual. In fourth grade, I had a crush on a girl. I wrote her notes and my friends would help me plan out how to talk to her. I even wrote her a song in my music class. At the time, though, I didn't register that I had feelings for a girl. My friends and I all thought I just really wanted to befriend her. As I grew up, I found myself suppressing my attraction to girls more and more, but it wasn't until last year that I actually was able to admit that I wasn't heterosexual. I didn't want to label myself as anything but heterosexual. Then one day, one of my close friends said, 'I think your feelings are more than platonic. And that's okay.' It was with her support and the support of my other LGBTQA friends that I began to get more comfortable with my identity to the point that I could come out to more people and become open to the idea of being with a girl." — Zara, 17



"I was really close to this girl in my math class, and when I started getting upset when she would hangout with other girls in my class, I started to realize that my feelings for her were more than just platonic."— Lindsey, 20



"This really cute girl on my softball team asked me to get ice cream once, and I knew I had more than just a little crush on her when I couldn't stop giggling the whole time we were together." — Virginia, 13

"When I was 13, I was really jealous about my best friend having 'other friends' in a way that was never sustainable. When my best friend would hangout with other people, I would get really upset and jealous. After she stopped wanting to hangout with me, I realized that I was actually in love with her and definitely not straight." — Tucker, 20



"I would always end up in the same relationships with boys. I'd have a crush on one for a minute and after a month I would be very disinterested. While, my best friends always meant the world to me and I valued their attention more than anything. I think over time I realized that perhaps I was actually romantically attracted to some of the strong girls in my life, and there was a reason boys could never fulfill me in the same way." — Stacy, 19



"I think my obsession with St. Vincent actually taught me about the complexity of my sexuality. I not only listened to her music constantly, but became obsessed with knowing everything about her in a way I never did with boys I even kissed." — Elani, 25



"When I cut off all my hair people actually started assuming I was gay. This forced me head on to confront my thoughts regarding my own queerness." — Laura, 19



"I would always show my parents films with same-sex couples making out to see their responses. In time, I realized that this was my way to assessing how they felt about not heterosexual couples and was a stepping stone for me to finally come out to them." — True, 19



"When I went to college, I became obsessed with taking ‘queer literature classes. I think in retrospect it was because I was fascinated with learning more about my sexuality, but at the time I really thought it was just something I wanted to ‘learn more about.’ — Kristina, 20

“College taught me that I was not straight. I think being an environment that allows you to challenge every aspect of your identity is the most healing thing you can do. It was through deep self-reflection in college that I was able to come to understand that I was definitely not straight.” — Megan, 20

“I realized I wasn’t straight after taking a quiz on the internet. It asked me a ton of questions about my sexuality and revelaed that I was 99% ‘not straight,’ which is pretty funny to think about now.” — Samantha, 21

“I was always obsessed with the ‘gay’ characters on TV in a way that wasn’t the same with straight characters in media. This eventually led to me to understand that there was a reason for this fascination and start to challenge my own understanding of my identity.” — Grace, 19

“When my best friend came out to me in middle school, it actually inspired me to wonder if I was queer too.” — Allegra, 19

“When I was little I would always play house with my best friends and insist on being the ‘father’ so that I could hold hands with the ‘mother.’ When I was cast as anything else, I would be so hurt and upset. Eventually, I realized that this was the first of many experiences that signaled to me that I was attracted to women.” — Alison, 18

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