Melbourne's Andrew Mashiko works as a dating and sex coach, primarily helping men to become more successful with women.

It's something you could say Andrew needs to be particularly good at, given he has more than one girlfriend to keep happy.

After marrying young "for all the wrong reasons" and feeling unable to express himself, Andrew got divorced and discovered the world of polyamory.

Polyamory is defined as a non-monogamous relationship with the knowledge and consent of all partners involved.

Andrew Mashiko became poly after his marriage ended. ( Supplied: Andrew Mashiko )

"I felt this whole expectation you will find everything in one person to be a little unrealistic," Andrew says.

"The monogamous paradigm is an illusion. We fool ourselves into thinking this is working for us, but for a majority of people in the world, it isn't.

"By embracing polyamory, it allowed me to be authentic to myself and to other people, where in my previous life I was almost driven to suicide because I felt like I couldn't be myself.

"Now I can experience the most deeply intimate and connected relationships like I had never even imagined."

After first entering the world of open relationships, Andrew was at one point dating six people, but his focus gradually narrowed to two women — his current partners.

He lives with his primary girlfriend who he says is "very much a left-brain person" — the opposite of his more "right-brain" lover.

"Having those two partners creates a lot of balance within myself and my life," he says.

"I live with my primary partner and if one of us wants to bring somebody home, we have a spare room either one of us can use with a guest."

Sharing your partner leads to disappointment: counsellor

There aren't a lot of stats available for polyamory in Australia, but 2014 research appearing in CSIRO Publishing found 1 per cent of 5,323 respondents were in an "open relationship".

Anecdotally, open relationships in the LGBTI community are more common, and data from the Victorian Aids Council shows 32 per cent of gay men in Melbourne were in open relationships in 2016.

Counselling psychotherapist Karen Philip says she often sees couples dealing with the fallout of such an arrangement, usually entered into after experiencing dissatisfaction in the partnership.

"They believe entering the open relationship world may assist to rectify the issue, or others may have one or both partners desiring to fulfil a fantasy," Dr Philip said.

She says it is rare a couple can benefit from an open relationship long-term.

"Sometimes partners feel a burst of adrenaline due to excitement, however it seems after the dust settles and normality returns there are concerns over trust, commitment and satisfaction.

"We are designed to have a partner as someone to share our life with, confide in, know better than anyone else, to know us and what we want and need, be there with all ups and downs, fears and excitement, good times and bad.

"When we are asked to share this, the consequence is often disappointing."

'I'm not expecting that person to be everything'

Vanessa O'Brien, who also goes by Priestess Vanessa, identifies as a pansexual serial polyamorous woman.

Vanessa O'Brien is currently dating Mr J and Mr B. ( Supplied: Vanessa )

The 39-year-old is currently dating Mr J and Mr B, who is also poly.

"The first one is in a good spot and now I'm working with the second," she says.

"I like to be committed to each partner before moving on to someone else."

Vanessa is on the hunt for a woman to complete her relationship status.

"What I get from my interactions with women is not the same as men, they are both beautiful, both delicious, but not one person can fulfil my needs.

"If someone is busy or life gets in the way, there is someone else I can go to for quality time and touch."

Vanessa says expectations are less in her world, and therefore she can appreciate each relationship for what it is.

"I'm not expecting that person to be everything … it is what it is, it has its own potential but at the same time it will have its weaknesses.

"If I feel I need fulfilment in those areas I can seek that from someone else."

Vanessa, who just recently found herself envying Mr B's other pursuits, admits feelings of jealousy can be a hurdle at times.

"I like knowing who he is pursuing, I get a certain satisfaction out of it … but there is a fine line between me asking about what is happening coming from a place of love or a place of jealousy."

Keeping everyone happy

Andrew says there is a knack to making a polyamorous relationship successful.

"One of the mistakes some people who are poly make is not being upfront about that fact from day one," he says.

"Know yourself and what you're looking for, and don't expect that is what everybody else wants. Be responsible for your feelings, be able to communicate."

Polyamory relationships usually don't stand the test of time, Dr Philip says. ( Wikipedia Commons )

The main challenge of being poly according to Andrew is keeping everyone happy.

"Although the experience of love is not finite, your resources are. Your time, your energy, money — having more than one person in your life will mean your focus is split."

Dr Philip says polyamory remains a taboo subject for most Australians.

"Individuals see open relationships as a form of cheating regardless if both partners are involved," she says.

"It is based on our embedded standards and ethics from when we were raised, and these standards remain with us through life."

Andrew, however, thinks the tide is changing.

"The last couple of years there has been more chatter about what is polyamory," he says.

"Through social media we are exposed to alternative ways of thinking and relating. Hopefully we will see some sort of acceptance to polyamory, whether that happens at a legislative level I won't hold my breath."