If you’ve seen her stand up, or the movie “Trainwreck,” you know Amy Schumer is less of a comedian than she is a human endurance test. She’s the kind of painfully unfunny celeb who exists so you cage determine how long you’d hold out if you were ever subjected to a Marathon Man-style interrogation. Your torturer will say “talk,” and you’ll respond ” I saw Amy Schumer do two hours at the Funny Bone in Cincinnati, do your worst.”

Given that she’s not - in any way - funny, there would be no loss to the comedy world if she wandered away from the United States. In fact, she’d be doing everyone a favor. Now, like other so-called celebrities before her, she’s threatening to leave. ...And you can help make it happen.