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BEST CALIFORNIA TEAM TO WIN THE STANLEY CUP::

ONLY CALIFORNIA TEAM TO NEVER WIN THE STANLEY CUP:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:

Fear the Fin

Battle of California

The Canafornians

BEST OPPOSITION TO FOLLOW ON TWITTER:

@MegalodonBOC

@FearTheFin

@annfrazi

@El_Brian

@BriannaBehrendt

@Noctro

@Stace_OfBase

WORST OPPOSITION TO FOLLOW ON TWITTER:

@Nuggetsauce

@Stars_Insider

THE ROYAL HALF GAMEDAY PREVIEW GIF OF THE DAY

ARE THE KINGS IN THE NEXT ROUND?:

No.

A wise man once said...

Wait... that's not it.

That's more like it.

For Los Angeles Kings fans, the definition of insanity is playing the San Jose Sharks 13 times over the course of 3 playoff seasons. For hockey fans across the world, the Kings-Sharks 1st Round Series seems to be the one to watch. And I totally understand why... these two teams are very evenly matched. Here is an infographic that illustrates just how similar the Kings and the Sharks are:

Obviously, that is the Kings on the left with the scar on the face.

But how evenly matched are these two teams when it comes to hockey intangibles? Let's take a look, shall we!

HEAD COACH GIF-SEARCHABILITY (HCGIFS)

To be honest, when you Google Image Search "Todd McLellan GIFs"... this is what mostly shows up:

The work of Todd McLellan, the artist that deconstructs technology.

That actually makes sense, since if the San Jose Sharks lose to the LA Kings in the 1st Round, their roster will be deconstructed over the summer.

Now, let's look at how the LA Kings' Head Coach matches up in GIF-searchability.

Need we say more.

ADVANTAGE: KINGS

INTERNET INSIDER

Behold: Xcel Energy Center http://t.co/MhI1h8OthB — Jon Rosen (@lakingsinsider) March 30, 2013

Behold: Canadian Tire Centre http://t.co/5lQQVXZfVx — Jon Rosen (@lakingsinsider) December 14, 2013

The convention that has followed us from San Jose to Chicago: http://t.co/SX78xV922q #BIMONSCIFICON — Jon Rosen (@lakingsinsider) June 1, 2013

@HrudeyCantFail I was thinking of "I feel so confident of [a Kings victory] that I can waste the court's time by rating the superhunks." — Jon Rosen (@lakingsinsider) December 11, 2013

@HrudeyCantFail I googled that quote during the third period before realizing it wouldn't help me write this LAK-dot-com feature. — Jon Rosen (@lakingsinsider) December 11, 2013

Jon Rosen is the LA Kings Insider , and in addition to providing in-depth coverage of the team with sharp insight , Rosen struggles every day to find the perfect Simpsons quotes to go along with his articles.While Kevin Kurz , the San Jose Sharks Insider for Comcast SportsNet California , just struggles daily. For example, this article from December 26th, 2013 about Dustin Brown's hit on Thomas Hertl.

Some say Dustin Brown’s hit of Sharks rookie Tomas Hertl last week was an accident. Replays appear to show that Brown was trying to avoid the 20-year-old rising star when the knee-on-knee collision occurred late in the first period on Dec. 19.

Others aren’t so forgiving of the Los Angeles captain, who has a history of “accidental” hits that result in significant injuries to his opponent. Brown’s apparent lack of empathy towards Hertl hasn’t helped his reputation among his detractors, either.

So Kurz begins the article by making a sweeping generalization by using “Some say…” and then references a “history of accidental hits that result in significant injuries to his opponent” without citing or providing examples of these alleged instances. #Journalism!

The game moves so quickly these days, there’s really only one guy who knows what the actual intent was, and that’s Brown himself. CSNCalifornia.com asked our own analyst, former NHL defenseman Bret Hedican, what he thought of the hit that quite possibly ended Hertl’s season.

One of those fans that starts paying attention at playoffs? We’ve got you covered with 10 #SJSharks bullet points http://t.co/7jAp0T46BZ — Kevin Kurz (@KKurzCSN) April 15, 2014

FYI, Kevin Kurz uses only one source in this entire article, an interview that he likely didn’t conduct seeing as he references it as “CSNCalifornia.com asked our own analyst.” Maybe Kurz should stay away from the hard-hitting articles and instead stick to lighter, lifestyle pieces. You know, like helping San Jose bandwagoners get up to speed on the Sharks!

FYI, this article literally doesn't have bullet points.

Well, at least there is no bad blood between Rosen and KurWHAAAAAAA?!?

@lakingsinsider Thanks for the shoutout! — Kevin Kurz (@KKurzCSN) April 15, 2014

@KKurzCSN No problem. Happy to cite our source. — Jon Rosen (@lakingsinsider) April 15, 2014

ADVANTAGE: KINGS

BEAUTIFUL SIDELINE REPORTER

VS.

ADVANTAGE: SHARKS

ADVANTAGE: STILL THE SHARKS

IDIOTIC TEAM NARRATIVE

Vlasic: “In order to get revenge, you win the series. That’s the way you get revenge for what happened to Hertl.” #sjsharks #lakings — Brodie Brazil (@brodiebrazilCSN) April 14, 2014

Just want to be clear that a team that pays Raffi Torres 2 million dollars a year is talking about enacting revenge on an injured player. — The Royal Half (@theroyalhalf) April 14, 2014

This playoff year, the San Jose Sharks have decided that their idiotic playoff narrative will be... avenging an early-season non-hit on a rookie?

While the Sharks have made "#AvengeHertl" their idiotic post-season narrative (we also would have accepted "The SAP Center is Loud!")... let's look at what the LA Kings have come up with for their idiotic post-season storyline:

Oh yeah, right... winning their 2nd Stanley Cup in 3 seasons. What a lame narrative!

ADVANTAGE: KINGS

FAN CELEBRATION

The Sharks bring this celebration to the table:

Over 22 years and counting.

While the LA Kings fans prefer this:

ADVANTAGE: SHARKS...

BECAUSE THEY DO THE SHARK CHOMP IN SAN JOSE WITHOUT IRONY.

@theroyalhalf contain your jealously but these are actually what were getting tomorrow. pic.twitter.com/6pzPNFyLcc — Brianna Behrendt (@briannabehrendt) April 17, 2014

As created by Jesse Cohen from All The Kings Men Podcast... The Moulson Index™ highlights an opposing player from tonights game who has the opportunity to score against his former employer, the LA Kings.

Tonight's Moulson Index Spotlight is:

BRAD STUART, DEFENSE

In 50 games versus the LA Kings, Brad Stuart has 3 GOAL & 11 ASSISTS

THE ROYAL HALF GAMEDAY PREVIEW TWEET OF THE DAY

After a few days of rest and practice... the LA Kings players are focused on what's important!

If you're not tuned into Hall & Oates Radio on Pandora for at least one hour per day, you're doing yourself a disservice — Alec Martinez (@amartinez_27) April 16, 2014

@amartinez_27 lots of time on your hands hey fella. — Colin Fraser (@colinfraser) April 16, 2014

@amartinez_27 I am embarrassed to say that I have no idea what that is #facered — Michael Richards (@MRichie_10) April 16, 2014

Well, at least Anze Kopitar is focused on what's important!

RT'ing celebrities!

BONUS ROYAL HALF GAMEDAY PREVIEW TWEET OF THE DAY



The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick and Ben Scrivens. If you like the hockey equivalent of dirty jokes or enjoy humorous screen-grabs of NHL players and broadcasters with funny captions... man, you are going to like The Royal Half. You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter at @TheRoyalHalf