I like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and at times, I love Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. A lot of them can be big, dumb nonsense, but they can also be a lot of fun. I was happy to see Arnold return to movies; I feel like The Last Stand is a silly but very entertaining movie that more people should’ve seen, and Escape Plan was forgettable but enjoyable. So I went into Sabotage with high hopes. The film is directed by David Ayer, who wrote Training Day and directed End of Watch, so the prospect of Arnold teaming up with a filmmaker who has shown some talent also raised my expectations.

Unfortunately for me, Sabotage took literally thirty seconds to dash any hopes I had and continued to violently assault my expectations into a bloody pulp. I can enjoy bad movies, but this is one of the most aggressively bad movies I’ve seen. There’s no heart or soul to this film, just a big empty void filled up with bile and gore. This is a film in which every character appears to be a sociopath—no one acts like a “normal” human being; everyone is despicable. Movies with negative lead characters can work, but here’s the thing: Sabotage doesn’t treat its characters in a negative light. The script, and the cast, seem to think this group of people are a whole lot of fun to be with, and we should really give a shit about all the annoying stuff they do, like frequently go to strip clubs, degrade women in general, or say things like: “Why are we sitting around when we could be drinking?!” Cool story, bro! Here’s another sample bit of dialogue: “We had to go and lick the devil’s pussy!” And another (my personal favorite): “THEY SENT ME HER FACE.”

Sabotage is the story of the worst DEA agents ever, although the film keeps telling us they’re the best. There are possibly 497 scenes where characters comment on how awesome and amazing either Arnold or his team members are.

They all have cool nicknames straight out of American Gladiators, like “Grinder,” and “Pyro,” and “Tripod.” The only female in the group (Mireille Enos, chewing scenery so badly that she might have broken a tooth or two)—who is, of course, a walking-talking bad/tough-girl cliche—isn’t cool enough for a nickname; she’s just Lizzy. Unless Lizzy is her nickname? If so, why didn’t she get a cool inanimate object nickname like “Wrench,” or “Ball-Point Pen”? I don’t know. Also I don’t care.

The team is lead by Breacher (Arnold). He looks badass, and has a really cool haircut, but beyond that there is nothing to the character. There is nothing to any of these characters. And yes, Arnold is usually just playing Arnold in his movies, but in those other movies, there’s some spark there; some bit of life. Escape Plan, which is a rather bland movie, has one of the best Arnold performances in years (witness his scene where he starts ranting madly in German for some fun). Here he seems half-asleep, or maybe counting his paycheck in his head.

Any time the team members (played respectively by Sam Worthington, Joe Manganiello, Josh Holloway, Terrence Howard, Max Martini, Kevin Vance and the already mentioned Enos) are all together on screen, the film is almost unwatchable. I don’t know if it’s bad screenwriting, or just bad ad-libbing, but the characters are constantly repeating each other and tossing out f-bombs. For instance, one character will say, “Where’s the fuckin’ money?” and another character will follow up, “Yeah, where’s the fuckin’ money?” “The fuckin’ money’s gone?” says another character. “The fuckin’ money is gone!” says someone else. “Where’s the fuckin’ money??” cries yet another character. And it goes on and on until all I want to know is: “Where’s the fuckin’ exit?”

At the start of the film, Breacher and his gang of foul-mouthed rapscallions steal a bunch of money (the aforementioned fuckin’ money, if you please) from a drug lord, only to find later the money is missing. The FBI and the DEA are well aware of this missing money, and they naturally all suspect Breacher and his team. Will the rest of the film be about Breacher and his team trying to cover up their crime? Not at all! What this film is about is people acting like sociopaths and using ancient put-downs like: “I was fuckin’ your mother last night!” Oh no he didn’t!

One by one, members of Breacher’s team start turning up brutally murdered. Enter Homicide Detective Caroline (that’s all she’s listed as on IMDB and I honestly don’t think they even mention her name in the film, so she’s Detective Caroline; just go with it), played by Olivia Williams. Caroline is the only character in the film who behaves half-like a human being, but Williams’ southern accent (the film is set in Georgia for some reason; no idea why) is so distractingly bad that it makes it hard to enjoy her performance. Harold Perrineau, as her partner Jackson, is a lot of fun, but he’s not in the movie nearly enough for me to care. Instead we need to spend time with Breacher and the Lil’ Sociopaths as they barely react at all to anything that is happening to them or their so-called friends.

I honestly don’t know who will enjoy this film. If you’re an Arnold fan, I can’t really see you enjoying it because he’s so bland and lifeless in this. He has one or two good one-liners, but they’re buried under an avalanche of generic “tough guy” dialogue. Action movie fans won’t really enjoy this either, because while there is plenty-o-shootin’, it’s all filmed rather flatly. Gore-hounds might get a kick out of some of the more graphic kills, but is that really a good enough reason to see this movie? Whom is this movie for? I have no idea. Certainly not me!