Overall

Vision Vision

Originality Originality

Technique Technique

Impact Impact

Hey friend e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title="(Smile)"/>I'd like to write you a thorough critique to show you where I believe your strong points are most in your current works and point out some things to improve your art techniques!Vision:Overall, just looking at this comic looks very consistent. Each character looks very well portrayed from a visual and proportional standpoint. Just a couple of things to point out here. For me, it is a little difficult to distinguish Luna's mane from the background. The colors seem too close to each other for my personal taste. What I think would a quick fix is to make the darker portions of Luna's mane blue in hue as well, rather than just turning it into a dark purple. If we look at Luna's color scheme here, it is much like Nightmare Moon's: black and blue. Is there some purple? Yes, but to really have the viewing eye differentiate the background and Luna's mane more easily, keeping the mane entirely in hues of blue would make it easier on the eyes. I can also notice that with each blush on each character, you used a different color. I think that was the best route to go, since Celestia needs a darker blush due to her white body and sombra/NMM need brighter blushes due to their darker bodies.Originality:Now, we all know that this is directly taken from the context of Fall of the Crystal Empire. It just happens to have a cute/adorable little twist to it. However, while that will dock some points down due to that nature, it doesn't mean that the idea here is entirely unoriginal. I have seen critiques that knock down originality since they use ponies from MLP among other things, and they state that the originality is almost non-existent, believe it or not. No, that is not the case. Your pictures have a knack to be funny and adorable, especially comics like this. So we need to look mainly at the second and third panels. The first panel serves as establishing context, which is fine. I'd say originality is fairly good in this comic. I'm sure a lot of fans out there will agree that older siblings embarrassing the younger ones is rather adorable. The problem you have with this comic though is you have created a controversial point. How did Celestia manage to recover so quickly? Where is the armor she wore? And why the change of personality all of a sudden? If this comic was made with those questions taken into consideration, originality would be much more well thought out. But again, the goal here is to embarrass Luna, because that's what drives this!Technique:One of the things that I really enjoy with your medium is your attention to detail. That is truly something you've become very aware in and you are able to use that gift to your advantage. Lighting, and mane detail I feel are your strongest points in this regard. Now, I mentioned on another piece of yours that you use a true white for the lighting of dark colored characters (Chrysalis, Sombra, NMM) whereas for Celestia, you can't really do that and get the same effect. What you have done to compensate for that is to focus on shading with lighter colored characters like Celestia. I have two things to point out that you might want to look at to consider. My first point is the shading of Celestia. The darkest color you use for her is a hot pink color. What I have concerns with is that the shading is in factthan the purple in her mane, which is directly adjacent to the pink shading. I would urge you to darken the shading of Celestia even further to where you have a bigger contrast of light to dark like you have on Nightmare Moon and Sombra. The only other option I think mentioning about this is to actually brighten the darker colors of Celestia's mane (red and purple). Either way would accomplish what I am talking about. The only other point I want to mention is the level of detail in Sombra's hair compared to Celestia's and Luna's. I can tell you spent a lot of time on Luna and Celestia, but Sombra's detailing is surprising sub par to that of the other two in this comic. If you added more lines of hair in his mane, it would equal out the level of detail throughout the picture!Impact:The impact of this piece comes in two waves: The second and third panel. Now, you are certainly very well capable of providing the intended impact you desire in your pieces of art. There's no doubt in that and regardless of what I said in the originality portion, it does not affect the impact in any major form. So yes, your impact is very straight to the point and easily understood correctly. Obviously that is the case since this piece has so much popularity. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title="(Smile)"/>Overall:This is a great comic and definitely delivers for what was expected out of you, Mandy. It's short, it's sweet, and yet has a great amount of attention to detail. I, along with plenty of others I am sure, will be looking forward to future works by you and would love to see you continue along with making improvements to better not only the already good quality of art you have, but to help you become an even better artist!