Anonymous asked:

Hello Boggle. I have a question for you. How do you be a friend? I try making friends but I keep on getting stuck half way. It's always ends up being, "Would they like to be friends with me or just stay acquaintances?" I'm ok either way but its just the not knowing which one is what messes me up. Its like how do you hang out with people without appearing clingy? Be nice to someone without being weird or creepy? This not knowing feeling always leaves me feeling like I did something wrong.

Well, you know, the usual advice is “just go for it,” “what have you got to lose,” “ask them to go play laser tag with you because everybody loves laser tag,” etc etc. But I don’t get the impression that’s what you really want to hear?

I think maybe it will help to ask yourself if you want to be someone’s friend because you’re interested in them as a person, or if you only want to be their friend so that you’ll feel less lonely.

I think latching on to people to mitigate your own loneliness is what comes off as clingy or creepy. Because that’s using people, you know? And nobody likes how that feels.

But if you’re really interested in this person, and that invitation to laser tag comes from a genuine place, because you want to spend more time in their company, they’ll feel that too. And that’s a great feeling! We all want to know that people like being around us!

This is just my feeling, but I think if you approach your prospective friends with respect and sincerity, you can’t really go wrong!