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Since the dawn of civilization (and probably even before that) men have been hitting on women, which means the oldest form of communication is the pickup line.

“In fact, some men are still using those lines from 10,000 B.C.,” says sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko, creator of the popular Cuddle Parties and an expert on intimacy.

(Cuddle parties originated in New York city and quickly spread nationally. Couples attend in pajamas and learn to cuddle – without sex. It is designed for women to show their men how to be intimate. For real!)

Over the years, women have told Reid the worst, most painful and ineffective pick-up lines men have tried. He shared 12 of the absolute worst with RadarOnline.com, and issued this warning: “Buckle up. Some of these are pretty bad.”

Counting down to the worst:

12. “You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.”

(Listen up guys, aside from being politically incorrect, women tend not to like puns. Especially really, really bad ones like this. But if we even have to explain that…)

11. “Can I take your picture? Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.”

(We really shouldn’t have to explain what’s wrong, but here we go anyway: not only does this destroy the wholesome concept of Santa Claus — which will automatically put most women off — it turns the potential date into a potential possession. That’s a no-no.)

10. “Can I borrow your cell? I promised to text my mother when I fell in love.”

(Hey a pickup line with technology! Oops, you used the L word and seem like a momma’s boy.)

9. “Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole some diamonds and put them in your sparkling eyes.”

(As charming as the second half of this pickup line tries to be, you don’t insult a girl’s daddy. Ever.)

8. “If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

(This is a classic of the bad-joke kind. If a woman hasn’t heard it, it may take a few seconds to register. That will give you time to duck the drink she’ll be throwing. )

7. “I’m new in town. Can I have directions to your house?”

(Red flag, red flag! Girls don’t respond well to stalkers.)

6. “I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.”

(In theory, self-deprecation is disarming. But suggesting to a girl that no one else is interested in her is obviously not a smart move.)

And now, we hit a new level of tackiness for the Final Five:

5. “My name is (fill in the blank). Remember it: you’ll be screaming it later.”

(Suggesting that you’re macho is bad, but implying that you and the girl will be hooking up is beyond bad.)

4. “I’m a bird watcher, and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one?”

(No, seriously. Some guys have used this! Sexism is the worst of this line’s sins, but even changing the name of the bird to something less offensive won’t help. No one is going to believe you’re a bird watcher, and a lie is a terrible way to make a connection.)

3. “You might as well go home with me because I’m going to tell everybody you did anyway.”

(Blackmail? Not a good approach in the adult world. In fact, if the girl has any moxie, gal-pals, or male wingmen with her, you might not have a functioning mouth in the morning.)

2. “Say, is your dress felt? Would you like it to be?”

(Stalking and blackmail are bad, but suggesting that you get in a lady’s space right then and there is arguably worse.)

And speaking of worse:

1. “That dress looks good on you but it would look better on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.”

(This one pretty much speaks for itself!)

(Photo: Jupiter Images)