Rock bottom means a chance to rebuild. When everything falls apart, the pieces reassemble even stronger. In 2018, Ameer Vann found himself at a breaking point. Beset with anxiety, mired in sadness, and staring at severed ties from the chart-dominating Brockhampton (which he co-founded five years earlier), the Houston-born rapper and producer got the necessary help, picked himself up, and wrote and recorded his solo debut, Emmanuel. Nearly two years of trials, tribulations, tumult, and turmoil transformed into triumph on the six-song body of work fueled by his vibrant, vulnerable, and vital bars. It started when he returned to Houston from Los Angeles in the summer of 2018. Coming home, he settled back at his mom’s house in the suburbs. Depression set in. Unfortunately, it only got worse. So, he did something about it… “I have to tell the story as black and white as possible,” he admits. “After I got kicked out of Brockhampton, I went into a really big depression. I was sick. I finally reached that point. I did a partial hospitalization for about four months and group therapy for six hours a day. It changed my life. It was the best thing to ever happen to me. I thought I’d be relinquishing a lot of my freedom, but it was the exact opposite. I understood it was okay to feel bad. I wasn’t afraid to analyze my emotions. I learned a healthy way to cope. Now, I want the chance to make music and show audiences I have the perspective and tools to be a much better person.” He went nearly six months without recording a note. At the time, he immersed himself in classic literature a la Niccolò Machiavelli’s The Prince and The Bible. He also carefully constructed an inspirational playlist, which spanned everything from La Roux, Françoise Hardy, The Fray, and Triathalon to Kool & The Gang, Al Green, The Beatles, and Led Zeppelin. In early 2019, he made his way back to Los Angeles and got to work on what would become Emmanuel. Holing up in a tiny nondescript Glendale studio called The Ship, he worked with Hit-Boy [Travis Scott, Drake] and Cool & Dre [Lil Wayne, Jay-X, Nas] and fulfilled a deliberate vision. “I’m an old soul,” he exclaims. “It’s the way I write. I was reading a lot of literature and The Bible. Those are references for me. I wanted to make something bulletproof with a lot of layers. There’s a divide in hip-hop between old and young. I tried to find a bridge. I hadn’t made music with anyone besides Brockhampton since I was 14, so I learned those lessons from what I refer to as the ‘College of Brockhampton’ and brought them to what I was doing. I also knew I couldn’t just make an album talking about bitches and hoes; that’s not reflective of all the things I learned sitting in group therapy.” Fittingly, he introduces Emmanuel with the title track. Produced by Cool & Dre, ominous bass thuds between a stark and spacey beat. The minimalist backdrop buzzes against his bold and breathless verses. Just before the music dramatically stops, he confesses, “It’s so hard to end it all. I want to try to make it right. It’s so hard to live it all, all these obstacles in life. Make it hard for us all, made a fuck up of my life. I’d give anything at all to take back a little time.” “I try to be clear and relatable,” he elaborates. “When I’m rapping, I black out and say what I’m maybe afraid to say any other time. I grew up in a really poor neighborhood and saw a lot of things a child should never see, but I went to private school. So, I have a deep understanding of human beings, which was heightened during my time in the hospital. ‘Emmanuel’ is my middle name. I needed to choose something to encompass the entire year. It’s also my dad’s middle name. He passed in January due to a car accident. Now, I’m carrying his legacy. I choose to remember him as a teacher and nothing else. Holding on to negative feelings only corrodes you. I gained a peace I didn’t have before. The song speaks to all of this.” Elsewhere, “Glock19” slips from the old school guitar and church-style strains into intense rhymes. The melancholic West Coast homage of “Los Angeles” centers around another admission, “I lost my friends to Los Angeles.” Above dreamy keys and skittering hi-hats on “Poptrunk,” he makes powerful declaration, “I ain’t no boy in a band. I am more than a man.” “The project is concise,” he says. “This is like punk music. The songs say what they have to say. Then, they get out of your face.” In the end, Ameer shares his strength with everyone on Emmanuel. “When people listen, I want them to know a little bit about me and possibly something more about themselves,” he leaves off. “I never lied about who I was. I never told anybody anything different about who I am in any of my lyrics. I want to say thank you to anyone who cared about where I’ve been and who I am. It means more to me than they know.”