The Washington Post has exposed itself to withering ridicule after reporting on how a sexy peach emoji has been adopted by the anti-Trump resistance. Maybe it was a slow news day?

Our fruity saga begins in late September, after the Democrats decided to go all-in on initiating impeachment proceedings against President Donald Trump. Reacting to the political showdown, singer Lizzo used a peach emoji – which in the exciting world of sexting represents an alluring butt-crack, WaPo expertly explains – in a celebratory tweet.

IM🍑MENT — |L I Z Z O| (@lizzo) September 24, 2019

This tweet reportedly sent shockwaves through the #Resistance, which never before considered replacing words with an emoji. The trend quickly caught on, and soon all of Donald Trump’s most ferocious Twitter critics were firing volleys of digital peach-butts.

As the go-to source for breaking emoji news, WaPo fired off an exclusive report, appropriately titled, “How the sexy peach emoji joined the resistance.”

No longer just for sexting or cobbler, everyone’s favorite 🍑🍑 thicc stone fruit 🍑🍑 is now a juicy anti-Trump symbol https://t.co/CpzPKfCvDK — The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) October 1, 2019

The paper explained the “multiple layers of meaning in the peach emoji — the impeachment pun, the color of the fruit evoking the president’s tanned skin tone and the original slang meaning of the peach emoji.” That’s an actual quote from an actual newspaper article.

Twitter users expressed nearly unanimous disgust, but there were a few netizens who said they were genuinely concerned about the paper’s psychological state.

No — seejay (@SmokeMidsDaKid) October 1, 2019

As expected, the article spawned a treasure trove of memes, with dozens of animated GIFs mocking the prestigious paper for its hot impeachment take.

Trump has described the Democrats’ impeachment efforts as a coup designed as an attack on Americans. In other words, this could be the first coup in history that involves sexually suggestive e-peaches.

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