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Look, let's be honest: No porn photographer has ever gone broke infantilizing women. Put a hot girl in a schoolgirl outfit, or make her speak in baby talk while licking a lollipop, and a certain type of dude will come running. Well, back in the day, somebody apparently was curious to see if it was possible to take it too far. And the answer is "Oh, holy shit, what is this? Am I going to jail?"

Foto-rama

That's the same face the judge made at the arraignment hearing.

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Even if you manage to ignore the more disturbing connotations, any mental association with an actual baby should be a surefire way to kill any and all sexy vibes, as anyone who's ever heard one cry can attest. Yet in a crib these fine ladies remain, and that's all you're going to get, boner.

You can just imagine these models excitedly skipping into the studio, expecting a luxurious if slightly naughty shoot in racy nightwear, then having their jaws (and dreams) drop through the floor as the photographer unceremoniously grunts at them and points his thumb at the baby prison in the middle of the floor. To their credit, most models presented in this particular fashion look as bewildered and confused about the situation as the reader. When they seem at ease with their surroundings, it's somehow even worse: