This is why we can’t have nice things… Washington State edition.

Once you legalize marijuana, you’ll have more people indulging in it. And when you have more pot smokers, the “420 culture” will spread far and wide. That’s resulted in a new crime wave having nothing to do with drug smuggling or cartels. Stoners are stealing the mile marker signs along highways at the 420-mile mark. This has led the spoilsports in the state government to come up with a unique solution. (Outside the Beltway)

Washington State thinks it has a solution to the problem of people stealing a certain mile marker sign: The Washington State Department of Transportation has a problem that just won’t go away. For years, people have persistently stolen those green and white mile markers posted along the highway. The most popular signs to pilfer are Mile 420, a popular number among marijuana enthusiasts, and Mile, ahem, 69. (If you don’t know that one by now, we can’t help you.)… So the sign aficionados in Washington had to get creative. In hot spots for sign theft, they’ve simply moved the highway marker back one-tenth of a mile and tweaked the sign to say Mile 419.9. Or Mile 68.9.

Potheads stealing highway mile markers signs? How creative. You’re really sticking it to the man, aren’t you?

Of course, this is nothing new, at least in terms of petty theft of signage. When I met my wife she had a huge yellow “Children At Play” sign in her apartment. Another friend I used to go hunting with had multiple deer crossing signs in his garage. I don’t recall him ever offering an explanation as to why.

Towns with unique names run into the problem on a regular basis. The most stolen road signs in Amerca are (or at least were) the ones directing you to Intercourse, Pennsylvania. The problem was so rampant and expensive that the town simply gave up.

This is the name of a small town in the heart of the Pennsylvania Dutch country in Lancaster County. It is mostly a tourist attraction in the summer. There are lots of small shops and there is also an old hardware store that the Amish people frequent. It is not hard to find but you cannot find any road signs directing you there. They are stolen as fast as they can be put up so the road dept. doesn’t buy them anymore.

Here are a few more that frequently turn up missing:

Shitterton, Dorset, England

Mile marker 66.6 in (where else?) New Jersey

Bat Cave, North Carolina

Butt Hole Road in South Yorkshire, England

Katies Crotch Road in New Portland, Maine

Stoner Avenue in Bemidji, Minnesota

Even though some of these names are clearly throwbacks to locally famous people or events, you have to admit that naming a street “stoner” is almost just asking for it. I started researching “Katies Crotch” and stopped before hitting enter so it wouldn’t end up in my search history. You may have better luck.

But let’s be honest about one name on the list. If you saw a sign for “Bat Cave” you’d probably at least consider heisting it yourself.