There was a nightclub vibe to Michael Gove’s leadership launch: loud music, sweaty bodies and, I kid you not, you needed a wristband to get in. His speech was a masterclass in how to move on from a personal embarrassment. He strode out, screwed up his notes and spoke straight from the heart about schools, Brexit, anything other than cocaine. Unfortunately, the press questions were a masterclass in how to never let go. Can you be trusted, Mr Gove? Aren’t you a hypocrite, Mr Gove? Do you think the Tories are going to elect a coke sniffer for leader?

The assumption is that the party will never stand for it, although you need to know that there are two different conservatisms. The conservatism at Westminster doesn’t give a damn about drugs. Most MPs would probably legalise them if they could. The myth of the blue rinse brigade – a Tory party of admirals and vicars – belongs firmly in the provinces, while the mood in London in the past few days has been surprise that anyone still cares about cocaine. “Cultural conservatism is dead, long live liberalism!” – policed by the media.

One thing I’ve found useful about this contest is that I’ve learned what I’m not supposed to think. Esther McVey said that parents should have the final say over sex and relationships education: the monster! Dominic Raab refuses to define himself as a feminist: misogynist! And on Sky News, Sophy Ridge asked Jeremy Hunt if he still thinks abortion access should be limited to 12 weeks. Personally, er, yes he said – nervous and fidgety. Don’t take too much from his manner though: “anxious” is his default setting. In every interview he gives, Mr Hunt looks like, out of the corner of his eye, he’s just spotted one of his children marching into the garden with a bow and arrow.