We’ve come halfway through our exploration of the four sublime mental states (in Pali: brahmavihāras). We’ve considered loving-kindness (mettā), compassion (karuṇā), and now we come to sympathetic joy, or muditā. Yet to come is equanimity, upekkhā.

The first three of these unbounded mental states have a lot in common. Compassion and sympathetic joy are forms of loving-kindness felt in specific situations, when someone is (a) suffering, or (b) elated.

In all cases, the sublime states reflect a receding of self-obsession. As we experience these states, fleetingly or in a lasting way, we are likely to notice that there is a sense of freedom, of lightness, associated with them. That feeling is the easing off our our tendency to myopic self-concern. A door opens and there we are: not painfully separate but fully present and engaged. It is a subtle turning of our attention away from our incessant grasping and avoiding, judging and churning.

Within our bodies, we have a category of nerve cells called “mirror neurons”. They work, more or less, like this:

People feel each other’s pain and joy to a much greater degree than do any other primates. Just seeing someone else smile activates some of the same neurons as when you smile. The other person is effectively smiling in your brain, which makes you happy and likely to smile, which in turn passes the smile into someone else’s brain. (Jonathan Haidt, The Righteous Mind, chapter 10)

While the scientific research on mirror neurons in humans is in its earliest phase, most of us will recognize the phenomenon in our responses to others. If someone has something we want, we feel that wanting keenly. If someone is suspicious of us, we may feel suspicious of them. If we see someone who is fearful, we are likely to feel at least some of their fear. When others are suffering, willingly or not, we suffer along with them. If someone in our vicinity is happy, we pick up on that happiness. In all these cases, the initial sentiment is mirrored in us if our nervous system is functioning normally. Most human moods are “contagious”.

What can we do with this information? We can direct our attention to investigating this process as it comes up in our lives. In particular, we can assess our own responses when we hear good news or observe someone else’s good fortune. Are we unreservedly happy for them? Is there envy? Do we contrast other peoples’ happiness with our own unhappiness? The more we make other peoples’ good news about ourselves, the unhappier we are likely to be. Conversely, the more freely we connect with others in their happy moments, the more joy and satisfaction we can experience.

We can confirm this positive movement of the mind through our words and actions. “I’m so happy for you!”; “That’s wonderful news!”; “Congratulations!” — these are easy phrases for us to say and mean. We can use other peoples’ good fortune to take a break from our own concerns by writing congratulatory notes or by marking special occasions with a phone call or text. We all like to be remembered, and we can all give that pleasure to others.