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Just for Men

Every winter, many of the men in my office grow beards. One of my direct reports has been doing so for the seven years we’ve been working together. This year, however, it’s longer than before, and he cannot keep his hands off it. He is constantly stroking, twisting, scratching and arranging it. Inevitably he’ll break off a hair or two between his fingers, rubbing it between thumb and forefinger, examining it and trying to figure out where to put it (ew, gross!!!).

But the move that literally has me gagging is when he picks up the left edge of his ’stache and puts it in his mouth. I can barely type these words. It has gotten to the point that I cannot even look at him in meetings. This is particularly awkward when we meet in my office for our regular check-ins.

I am his supervisor. I am female. He is a nice but sensitive guy who has had some anxiety issues. I get the sense that this beard is a security blanket. What can I say to him to get him to stop before I vomit in front of him when that thing goes in his mouth one. more. time?

— Washington, D.C.