You all have really boring taste in food.

Australia spent 2017 obsessing over fidget spinners, Sophie Monk, slime and beef stroganoff, according to freshly released data from Google that shows the most searched terms and phrases of the year.

Every year Google publishes its “Year in Search”, a compilation of the top trending searches in the country. The list is an extremely weird interesting insight into what got our attention in 2017; a pretty fascinating reflection on the big stories and topics of the past year.

The top trending searches aren’t necessarily the most searched terms, they’re queries that “that had the highest spike in traffic over a sustained period in 2017 as compared to 2016”.

Let’s take a look what trended this year!

Australia Is Obsessed With Sport

The top three queries were all sports related, with the Australian Open (we’re going with the good tennis version, not the bad golf version), the Melbourne Cup and Wimbledon taking out the gold, silver and bronze positions.

In fourth place was… fidget spinners! Remember fidget spinners? Here’s the crazy thing about fidget spinners: they are a meme whose entire existence is limited to 2017. Fidget spinners were born in 2017 and fidget spinners died in 2017. Wild.

On the bleaker side of things Cyclone Debbie, Chris Cornell and North Korea also all made the top 10, which I guess is a reminder of the fragility of life and the chaos of the modern world in 2017. I’m sorry but it’s true.

The top trending news topics also skewed towards the tragic, with Hurricane Irma and the terrorist attacks in London, Manchester and Las Vegas all featuring in the top 10. The final spot went to Schapelle Corby. Yeah, I can’t believe that whole thing happened this year either.

#MeToo Has Left Its Mark

The the stunning growth and impact of the #MeToo movement is also reflected in the Google list with Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, two entertainment industry figures who have been accused of sexual assault and harassment, both featuring in the list of most searched people of 2017.

B-grade popstar Ed Sheeran, Wonder Woman actress Gal Gadot and boxer Floyd Mayweather also made the top five, with someone called Jake Paul coming in at number six. I literally have no idea who Jake Paul is but a quick Google search (hah, see what I did there?) suggests that he’s some kind of YouTube celebrity with billions of views. How 2017.

Here’s Where Things Get Weird

Google has also released a list of the top trending phrases and questions and it’s here where things get very confusing.

The top trending question of 2017 in Australia was apparently “how to make slime”. In case you missed it there was a huge fad (remember fads?) this year of kids making their own slime out of borax. It wasn’t all fun and games though, with parents reporting their children were accidentally ingesting the borax instead of using it to make slime, which is presumably why the sixth most searched question was “how to make slime without borax”.

In fact, four of the top 10 questions were about making slime.

YouTube is fucking weird, man.

Sneaking in at position number 10 was the question “how to vote for gay marriage” which is actually a very positive and heartwarming reflection on Australia in a year where politics has been undeniably shit.

What Is….?

Far and away my favourite list is the the summary of the most searched “What is…?” queries. This year’s list suggests Australia is still struggling to comprehend Asian food, with “What is MSG?” and “What is kimchi?” making the top three.

“What is Bitcoin?” made it to number two, raising a really interesting question: what the hell is Bitcoin? I know I bought a few dozen Bitcoins back in 2013, but I have no idea what it is or how to access them. Help?

The four most searched query was “What is a publican?” which seems very odd considering Australia’s cultural attitude towards drinking and our enormous number of pubs. A couple of politics questions also made the top 10, including “What is Sharia law?” (thanks Pauline) and “What is DACA?”, a reference to a US immigration law revoked by Donald Trump.

A close cousin to the “What Is…?” questions are the “Why is…?” ones, and boy are there some classics this year. My favourite is “Why is my poop green?”. To save you a search, here’s the top answer via the Mayo Clinic:

“Food may be moving through the large intestine too quickly, such as due to diarrhea. As a result, bile doesn’t have time to break down completely. Green leafy vegetables, green food coloring, such as in flavored drink mixes or ice pops, iron supplements. A lack of bile in stool.”

There you go folks, that’s why your poop is green.

There was also “Why is my internet so slow?” (Answer: Malcolm Turnbull) and “Why is Australia Day on 26 January?” (Answer: racism).

Australians Have Really Boring Taste In Food

The last category is all about food and recipes. According to Google, the number one most searched for recipe in 2017 was… beef stroganoff.

Beef fucking stroganoff. Come on Australia, this isn’t the 1970s. Lift your game. Give green curry a crack.

The top 10 also featured chilli con carne, chicken cacciatore, chicken parmigiana, shepherd’s pie and quiche lorraine. Talk about vanilla, come on Australia.

Here are some of the full lists:

Overall most searched:

Australian Open 2017 Melbourne Cup 2017 Wimbledon 2017 Fidget spinner Cyclone Debbie iPhone 8 North Korea Chris Cornell iPhone X Amazon Australia site

In the news:

Cyclone Debbie North Korea Amazon Australia site Hurricane Irma Bali volcano London Las Vegas Manchester UK election Schapelle Corby

People around the world:

Harvey Weinstein Ed Sheeran Kevin Spacey Gal Gadot Floyd Mayweather Jake Paul Post Malone Pippa Middleton Boy George Macklemore

Australians:

Sophie Monk Kate Fischer Schapelle Corby Ben McCormack Dustin Martin Cassie Sainsbury Lisa Wilkinson Paul Hogan Katherine Langford Amber Sherlock

How to….?

How to make slime How to make a fidget spinner How to make fluffy slime How to watch Mayweather vs McGregor How to buy Bitcoin How to make slime without borax How to use Snapchat map How to unblock people on Instagram How to make slime without glue How to vote for gay marriage

What is…?

What is MSG What is Bitcoin What is kimchi What is a publican What is covfefe What is a fidget spinner What is MSG and why is it bad What is Sharia law What is DACA What is good friday

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There you go. 2017, what a year. Let’s pray that 2018 has better memes, better food and way less slime.

Feature image via Alpha / Flickr