"Man, I wonder what it feels like to be a main character."

A masked woman, with flowing black hair, in a full-face grimm mask turned to the speaker.

"What do you mean, Perry?"

The glasses wearing white fang member turned to the masked woman. "Well, we aren't main characters, we don't matter."

A white haired girl snorted, "Well, *I* matter, I *am* a Schnee of course. We always matter. "

Perry stared at her, "But we've never even seen you. The audience has a name and that's it. Heck, I'm even more important, since they've seen my fac- I mean they've seen me."

"Wha-how could you say that?! I'm Weiss' sister! Of course I am a main character! You are just a filthy faunus minion."

"I take offense to that, I shower on a regular basis!" Under his mask, his eyes narrow on the white haired girl, "as much as you can when you are oppressing our rights!"

"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH SHOWERING?!"

Perry's expressionless face gave a impression of incrediulity, "you turn off water to the faunus' living quarters of your mansion, if we don't call you mistress…. Explain how this isn't oppressive?"

"Uh, HELLO, it was in the contract?"

"Not in the human servant's contracts."

"We don't have any human servants!"

"Of course, then you'd have to pay them! Which you obviously can't with your piles of lien that you literally sleep on, r-"

"GUYS!" all heads turn to the new speaker, "er… and girls. At least you haven't died yet."

"Oh pleaseeeeee. Tukson, you have some kind of cozy bookstore and have claws and everyone thinks you are that wolverine fellow. You have fangirls." The white haired girl shook her head, "For some reason" she muttered under her breath.

Silence.

Bark bark.

A corgi appeared, barking at the group, "Oh god its him again."

Bark bark

Zwei was barking at the white fang members, "Isn't that racist?" Tukson turned to the full face masked black haired girl, "did your daughters raise a racist dog, Raven?"

Raven held her hands up in protest, "Hey now, we don't KNOW she is my daughter, for all we know Ruby might not be my daughter."

Winter tilted her head, "I thought Yang was your daughter?"

"No that's not right," Perry piped up, "Raven is clearly Yang. From the future."

All eyes were on Raven, "my personal theory, is that I'm mecha Zwei from the robot apocalypse future. That or its all some kind of mental simulation inside Penny's head, and I'm suppose to be around to make sure no one dies."

Everyone takes a step back.

"Uhhhhh….."

"What?" Raven asks, curiosity in her voice, "I think its reasonable."

The other three look at each other and then back to her, "Who would even suggest that?" Raven points to Zwei. All eyes turn to the Corgi.

Bark bark

"…whats he even doing here? He is like… a major character, I thought? I mean I think my sister is in love with him, it's all she ever talks about now."

"I thought you were estranged from your sister-"

"WHY DOES EVERYONE ASSUME THAT MY FAMILY IS HORRIBLE AND THAT WEISS HAS A BAD CHILDHOOD BECAUSE OF ME, WHY?!" Righteous fury is evident as Winter stares down Tukson.

"Because we expect the main characters to have like some kind of drama in their lives?" the ever insightful Perry noted.

Silence.

"If…if Yang or Ruby is my daughter… what do you think I should get them for their birthday?" Raven turns to Winter, "Winter, you are similar age to my supposed daughters, correct? What do you like to do?"

"Oppress the faunus activists"

"AHA!" Perry jumps from his seat to point at her, "I KNEW IT! SEE YOU HATE THE FAUNUS!"

Winter stares at Perry, giving him a long, hard stare. "You know what, I'm too rich to *not* be a main character. I'm going to go bribe whoever is in charge to be part of volume 3, seeya later peons!" With that, Winter leaves.

Perry looks at the other two. "So are you guys part of the White Fang?"

The woman shrugs while Tukson gives him a scowl, "Up until they offed me."

"To be fair, it was Mercury and Emerald, and I don't think they are with the White Fang officially. I think?" Perry does a double take. "Wait, if you are dead… how are you here?"

Tukson fades out of existence.

"Wow, words are powerful" Raven notes as he fades out completely. Getting up from her seat, she draws her nodachi and slices the air creating a red portal, "Well, I'm going to go and see what teenage girls like for the birthday, good luck with prison Perry!" and with that she is gone.

Perry looks around, not even Zwei is there, its just him. Alone.

"Wait if I'm here, how am I in prison?"

AU: A story literally inspired by me seeing the characters tags on this site. How much more meta can you go? Oh right the gamer!Pyrrha story spin off where they are playing the game that Pyrrha's semblance is based off of. Thats even more meta (shameless plug for Skyros right here, yup).