To quote BMD's own Evan Saathoff: "greasy muscle freaks shooting aliens? I could act above this, but that would be hypocritical."

If you grew up during the '80s and '90s, you more than likely played hours of Contra - Konami's side-scrolling shooter that debuted in 1987 and led to countless boys blasting extraterrestrials until their eyes fell out of their skulls. Now, Konami has announced that they're bringing the eight-bit action game back, in the form of both a live-action movie and television series.

Though the franchise has a long Texas Chain Saw-level convoluted continuity (which spanned over 12 different games and multiple consoles), the central plot focuses on two soldiers, Bill Rizer and Lance Bean (who were basically just Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone). These beefcakes are machine gun-wielding commandos in a guerrilla task force, who decimate everything in their path as aliens threaten to overtake a jungle in...somewhere. No plot is needed. Just violence. I hope the movie follows suit.

No word on who's going to write/direct/produce/star/etc., but Konami released a teaser trailer, so at least they got that going for them.

