What do you get for that person who has everything? Or even the person who has nothing? If you ever watched a television show or movie and thought, “hey that would be cool” or “I want one of those”, then this list is for you. These are the top twenty fictional gadgets that we wish we possessed. Granted, not all of them are all that useful. But at least they’d be great to own. And no, the list isn’t sixteen different versions of a time machine. We figure one time machine is good enough, so we tried to diversify the choices to gadgets that performed different functions.

20. Tricorder

As seen in: Star Trek

Why it’s Cool?: For the more outdoorsy person, comes the Tricorder, a device which can scan an area, interpret and display data from its scans to the user, and record information. Useful to both scientists and weekend adventurers, you’ll never know what you might find in your own backyard. I call dibs on the golden scepters. It’s like a more awesome metal detector!

19. Cornballer

As seen in: Arrested Development

Why it’s Cool?: It’s not exactly a useful gadget, but it’s the perfect gag gift or something you give to get revenge on someone. Invited to a wedding you’re not to excited about? Give them a Cornballer and watch the burns appear.

18. Food Replicator

As seen in: Star Trek and Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Why it’s Cool?: The exact form may change from source to source, but the main idea remains the same. The capacity to produce any food at the whim of the user. Even those discontinued items. Craving some Ecto Cooler or a bowl of Cröonchy Stars? Bam! It’s right there in front of you. Not that Americans need something else to make them fat, but having Krispy Kreme donuts or bacon cheeseburgers at the touch of a button would be pretty excellent. It’s the seemingly limitless ability to imagine all things bizarre and unlikely for a party in your mouth!

17. Al Czervik’s Golf Bag

As seen in: Caddyshack

Why it’s Cool?: I guess some people just don’t belong. If you’re a golfer and a little less on the snobbish side, this golf bag is for you, complete with a built-in stereo (Journey not included):

16. Inspector Gadget’s Hat

As seen in: Inspector Gadget

Why it’s Cool?: Inspector Gadget has a bevy of bionic “gadgets” at his disposal, but his hat seems to contain the coolest selection of tools. For example, it comes with a umbrella that can also double as a crappy parachute. Not that one needs a parachute when the hat also has a set of helicopter propeller blades that enable you to fly. Another great use are the gadget hands, which are mechanical hands that come out of the hat for whatever use necessary. And although of little use, a spring can also emerge from the hat.

15. Hypertime

As seen in: Clockstoppers

Why it’s Cool?: A watch that allows the user to effectively “stop time” as the person’s molecules speed up to the point where the world appears to be standing still. Or essentially you could turn into the Flash. Imagine all that one could get done in a a minimal amount of time, or what forbidden areas one you sneak into, just for the fun of it. Not to mention you can seriously mess with people if you have a wicked side.

14. Interactive User Interface Computer

As seen in: Minority Report

Why it’s Cool?: Just look at Tom Cruise use this awesome futuristic computer, I think the video speaks for itself:

13. Lotus Esprit

As seen in: The Spy Who Loved Me

Why it’s Cool?: One if by land, two if by sea. Orbe like James Bond and just get one car that can traverse both. Q branch is up to it. When dealing with a villain who lives in an underwater lair, it is necessary to have a submarine car. This Lotus does the trick, with wheels that turn inward to reveal four lateral fins and a periscope which appears from the roof. It’s also useful if google maps give you these directions.

12. Transporter

As seen in: Star Trek, Galaxy Quest

Why it’s Cool?: Having nothing to do with B-level Jason Statham movies, the transporter is a staple of Star Trek lore with the patented tagline, “Beam Me Up Scotty!” And who doesn’t have a use for a teleportation machine that can dematerialize a person (or object) into an energy pattern and beamed to target somewhere else in the world? As long as you avoid the pitfalls like being combined with a household fly, you should be alright. And I take it from that little impressed noise that you are interested in purchasing that matter transporter, sir. Cost is only two bucks (Emm… Two bucks… And… It only transports matter… Um… Well ah… I’ll give you thirty five cents).

11. Remote Control

As seen in: Click

Why it’s Cool?: Finally someone bought something from the Beyondsection of Bed, Bath & Beyond. The remote has many functions, with its most useful feature being that it can actually pause or freeze time. It can also fast forward past unpleasant experiences, andit can even rewind (although one cannot change the past). There are other less cool features, although Adam Sandler did highlight the use of slow-motion to slowly watch a woman’s breasts bounce while running. The volume control would be useful to those utilizing a Miracle Ear.

10. Orgazmorator

As seen in: Orgazmo

Why it’s Cool?: An arm mounted device that forcefully triggers climax in those he uses it on? I don’t know, you tell me why it’s cool. Use it for good and pleasure (even on yourself), or use if for evil as a weapon and stop villains in their tracks by giving them mind-blowing orgasms. If there’s one way to go down in defeat, that’s the way. It’ll work either way (except on Neutered Man), just choose wisely.

9. Cloaking Device

As seen in: Predator

Why it’s Cool?: The advantages of being invisible, who wouldn’t want that? This wrist-computer will provide active camouflage, bending light around the wearer and projecting a semi-transparent image in front. As always with electronic equipment, keep out of water. Also, if you’re not fluent in Predator, there’s a good chance of activating a self-destruct device resulting in a small nuclear-like explosion which destroys an area equivalent to 300 city blocks.

8. Sonic Screwdriver

As seen in: Doctor Who

Why it’s Cool?: It’s small, easy to carry, but yet has a variety of uses. Mostly it’s used to open virtually any lock, mechanical or electronic, so no need for keys anymore. But it can also be utilized as a repairing tool, magically fixing equipment, and in a pinch can serve as a decent weapon. Goes great in a set with some Psychic paper.

7. Iron Man’s Suit

As seen in: Iron Man

Why it’s Cool?: Tony Stark’s amazing suit can make anyone be a superhero. Some of the features include jet boots to fly with, repulsor rays to fight with, and a cybernetic helmet to use to control all the various devices within the armor. If you’re not interested in fighting crime, or at least work as a mercenary, there’s limited long term appeal. But even just going to the grocery store you’ll look bad-ass.

6. Holodeck

As seen in: the Star Trek universe

Why it’s Cool?: Do you really need an answer why a simulated reality facility could be useful? People don’t need to drink to forget their sucky lives, instead they can trick all five senses into believing another reality. Go to any time, any place, and be anyone. Fill the room with you wildest desires, which is probably going to be naked women. The drawback is that you can still die (so be careful), and more importantly, reality may begin to really suck.

5. Hoverboard

As seen in: the Back to the Future trilogy

Why it’s Cool?: Mattel brand or not, any Hoverboard will do provided that it’s a magnetic-induction type. Anddon’t tell me they can’t exist, why would Back to the Future lie to us? These things are great to fly around the neighborhood, to avoid the rocky terrain of the country, or for future careers as the Green Goblin. A word of warning, as everyone knows, Hoverboards don’t work on water (unless you got power!).

4. KITT

As seen in: Knight Rider

Why it’s Cool?: Holy crap, a talking car! We’re going with the original here, the Knight Industries Two Thousand Pontiac Firebird Trans Am. Among its many features include: a front mounted scan bar, the ability to drive himself, and Turbo Boost, which allows for quick bursts of speed or jumping over obstacles. Although there’s a reasonable debate whether KITT is cooler than Knightboat, the crime solving boat, we’ll stick with the land vehicle.

3. Neuralizer

As seen in: Men in Black

Why it’s Cool?: There’s probably a lot of things you’d be better off forgetting. A bad relationship. Those Skidz pants you wore in seventh grade. That time you went to the “basement” of a port-o-john. Two girls, one cup. Maybe this post. And it doesn’t have to be you, it can be for others too. Just flashy thing your embarrassing or otherwise unworthy memories away with the push of one button. Caution, may cause brain cancer.

2. The TARDIS

As Seen in: Doctor Who

Why it’s Cool?: Short for Time And Relative Dimension(s) In Space, you can travel throughout space and time in this thing, all in the convenient size of a 1950s-style London police box. So, it’s basically a time machine combined with a rocket ship. Of course ,the negative is that you’ll destroy the space-time continuum with such a device. And if it falls into the wrong hands, your mortal enemies will go back in time to steal for mojoor send killer robots to assassinate your mother. But other than that, it’s pretty cool.

1. Lightsaber

As seen in: the Star Wars universe

Why it’s Cool?: Let’s face it, many of you would probably kill your own mother for a real lightsaber. It’s simply the coolest weapon ever. Search your feelings, you know it’s true. The downside is that’s there’s a strong probability you’ll chop off one or more of your appendages. But until such a time, you can do this:

This article was discussed in depth on our Podcast, The Gunaxin Show. Click below to listen! The Gunaxin Show is classified as Explicit, so probably NSFW, unless you work here.





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