Warning: This story contains graphic content and may be upsetting to some readers.

The night before he died, Derek Soberal went up one storey of his downtown apartment building to visit his mom and dad. They’d lived one floor apart for nearly a decade, which kept the family close, especially once Soberal started one of his own. He’d frequently pop by, his two small boys in tow.

On this night, Soberal was particularly loving, wrapping his mother in one of his legendary hugs.

“He kissed me so much, and said to me ‘Mom, you don’t realize how much I love you,” Judy Soberal said in an interview Wednesday, crying at the memory. “I said ‘Yes, I do, and I love you too, and you don’t realize either.’ And we went back and forth.”

The next day, just before 9 a.m. on March 17, Soberal, 40, walked down the street to the Esso gas station at Dundas St. East and Church St. where he sometimes bought coffee. There, he began livestreaming a video on Occupy Canada’s Facebook page, an online community he helped establish, before suddenly taking a pump in use by a customer, dousing himself in gasoline, and setting himself ablaze.

It was the beginning of an incident called “tragic” by Ontario’s Special Investigations Unit, the civilian watchdog that has been probing Soberal’s death after Toronto police became involved, summoned by a report of a man on fire. On Tuesday, the SIU concluded Soberal’s fatal injuries were self-inflicted, and police played no role in the death.

The SIU did not name Soberal, but he was identified as the deceased man by his family.

A video posted to Youtube shorly after Soberal’s death appears to show part of the incident as seen from a nearby balcony. In it, a man partially on fire can be seen walking in front of the gas station with his arms outstretched. He then walks back toward the gas station. Sirens can be heard in the distance.

According to the SIU, after police arrived at the gas station, Soberal fled towards a Rabba Fine Foods store on Jarvis St. No longer aflame, he went to the store’s deli and began repeatedly stabbing himself in the chest with a knife.

Thirty-five seconds later, Soberal then left the store, where he was confronted by Toronto police officers, two of whom deployed their Tasers. Soberal continued to stagger down the street before collapsing, where police then firefighters performed first aid, the SIU said.

Soberal later died in hospital. An autopsy concluded the cause of the death was multiple stab wounds to the chest. According to the SIU, a pathologist found the Taser deployment did not play a role in Soberal’s death.

“I am satisfied there is patently nothing further to investigate as far as the potential criminal liability of any police officer,” wrote SIU director Joseph Martino.

The death of the well-known Toronto activist has hit his family, friends and broader community hard. Friend David Clow remembers seeing Soberal for the first time at a rally in downtown Toronto during the 2010 G20 Summit, megaphone in hand. After Clow introduced himself, the two men became fast friends, embarking on trips and projects, including a documentary about helping Toronto’s homeless, a passion they shared.

In a short 2015 documentary, the two friends pass out Subway sandwiches to people in need on a cold night in downtown Toronto. Soberal often bought homeless people a hotdog, Clow said, and he felt injustice acutely. That drove his activism, which focused on inequality and civil liberties.

But Clow said the activist’s life can be “such a lonely one.”

“When you spend the lion’s share of your thoughts and energy on objectives and seeking information that no one wants to hear about, it wears on you in ways few could understand,” Clow wrote in a eulogy for Soberal.

Those Soberal left behind are still trying to understand his final act. Judy Soberal said she knew he’d been “agitated” in the days before he died because of the mounting threat of COVID-19. In a wide-ranging video he live-streamed in the moments before his death, Soberal discussed the mounting restrictions on free movement caused by efforts stop the spread of the virus.

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Clow said he did not think his friend was being conspiratorial, but wanted people to be aware as to how “these measures could be used to restrict our rights and freedoms.”

“He was trying to tell us that we can’t just give up these rights so easily,” Clow wrote.

Judy Soberal said she and her family will hold a small funeral for her youngest of three sons when COVID-19 restrictions on gatherings are lifted.

If you are considering suicide, there is help. Find a list of local crisis centres at the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention. Or call 911 or in Ontario call Telehealth at 1-866-797-0000