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After a tumultuous California governorship, Arnold Schwarzenegger is returning to show business. And why not? Those last years spent presiding over a perilous budget deficit, gridlocked legislature and flagging poll numbers must have taken a toll on the former weight-lifter turned Terminator. But it's been over seven years since Schwarzenegger headlined his own film (cameos don't count). If he's serious about getting his acting career on track he needs to pick the right first role to curry audience favor.

To do that, maybe he should eschew the inevitable Terminator 5 or Expendables sequel and broaden his range. Would you buy Schwarzenegger in an indie drama? How about as a voice actor in a Pixar title? In an Apatow film? We envisioned how a few of these imaginary roles would pan out:



As an Embattled Politician in a Weinstein-Produced, Oscar Contending Drama:

Deciding to chase that elusive Oscar, Schwarzenegger could accept a role as an earnest Senator who tries to root out corruption in Washington only to become ensnared by special interests. The film would be tonally similar to Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, but without Jimmy Stewart or a rousing ending. In the last scene, Schwarzenegger would be seen gathering his things, dramatically throwing open his office door and switching off the lights as he leaves Congress for the final time. It would look exactly like this. The film would be only a mild commercial success, with Arnold lucky to avoid a Razzie nomination.