The coup’s critics are really ramping it up. Eight people showed up at Paragon holding copies of 1984, by George Orwell, as possible references to 1984, by George Orwell. Then, 100 people showed up at Terminal 21 doing that three-finger sign from Hunger Games, which some interpreted as a reference to Hunger Games.

The National Committee for Peace, Love and Order reacted appropriately, sending 1,300 soldiers to Victory Monument, dispatching Humvees with mounted turrets to Asoke and shutting down central Bangkok’s BTS stations. Their message is clear: enough with the cultural references.

“We’ve had it with these little nods and winks to stuff we’ve never read or seen,” said Lt. Col. Pornthip Jumthong, the National Committee for Peace, Love and Order spokesperson, before threatening to delay the lifting of the curfew for Patpong, Phuket and Pattaya’s sex tourists until everyone learns to behave.

“It makes our jobs much harder,” she continued. “I just had to watch King Naresuan 5 to see if Kong Rithdee was trying to divide society or simply slammed it because it’s a terrible movie. It turns out, it just is really very boring, so we won’t court martial him. But I’ll never get those two hours of my life back!”

The National Committee for Peace, Love and Order has moved to officially ban thinly veiled references. Holders of “Army Get Out” and “No Coup” signs will be court martialed and released after very humane two-year jail terms. But those holding up weird books or making obscure hand gestures will be dragged into taxis by plainclothes officers never to be seen again.

“We can’t tolerate this kind of behavior,” Lt. Col Pornthip explained. “It’s psychological terrorism. This country has a proud tradition of reading very little, and if you don’t like it, I have to ask, ‘Are you Thai?’”

Page 3 is satire, not news. Read more Page 3 here.