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Are we reaching the bottom of the barrel? Are we running out of things to rank? A day may come when the supply of things to rank fails, when Steve and I forsake our weekly foray into meaningless listicle nonsense and break all commitments to carrying on this ridiculous tradition, but it is not this day. No, today we rank violations of the Word of Wisdom, in order of least to most sinful.

As always, these rankings are authoritative.



Wheat you didn’t personally grind by hand Loud Laffy Taffy Steaks cooked past medium-rare Candy cigarettes Tobacco on non-bruised cattle Non-wholesome oregano Snorting angel dust Cool Ranch CornNuts Licking the vanilla extract that spilled onto your finger while making cookies Barq’s Root Beer

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[1] Honorable Mentions