This one is impossible to explain -- really, it is -- but we'll try.

A woman possessed by the "most beautifiliest angel lusefer" and claims to be the "reincarnation of Venus Aphrodite Demilo" has filed a $3 billion lawsuit against Hugh Hefner, suing him for ... well ... it's nearly impossible to tell.

Sheri Allred -- who also calls herself "the biggest hat in the world" -- claims Hefner is a member of a pedophile organization and once hid under her bed when she was five-years-old in order to do naughty things to her.