

When that foolishly brave Slovenian laddie performed his parody of Russia’s great leader at half time during the EMA final we expected the worst – but we never expected anything this bad! We were thinking more along the lines of troop movements and rapid rises of polonium in the drinking water, and not this clumpy stomper extolling the virtues of the Russian guvnor.



However, we’re still not clear whether this is a straight up love song to the bloke in charge, a subtle parody that’s so localised that it’s beyond our ken, or some strange slice of CIA-subsidised propaganda designed to make us point and laugh. Heck, we’re probably getting ourselves on the watch lists of at least a dozen shadowy security agencies just by writing this. In which case – we have no prejudice here at Eurovision Apocalypse. We love you all with equal fervour (honest!).



However, the one thing that makes us suspect that this is just some bedroom loon trying to make a name for himself (or indeed some regional public access TV show’s ill-advised comedy skit) is that the video is festooned with banners saying “Song claimed to participate in the contest ‘Eurovision 2017’”. This is the Russian version of all those blokes in bad pub bands from the home counties who write to their local papers telling them that they’re going to be next year’s entry just because they sent a back shed demo of a song called ‘We’re Bringing It Back To England’ to: “The Eurovision, BBC, London” isn’t it. Bless.