At this time of year, whether out shopping or stuck in elevators, one is constantly reminded by Paul Young that “It’s Christmas time, and there’s no need to be afraid…”

It’s time to let go. Relax, deck the halls with boughs of holly, drink a little, damage relations between Europe and turkeys, snore on couches, watch bad movies and do things one avoids for the rest of the year, such as eating Brussels sprouts and mince pies and playing board games.

And thank goodness for that…

Hopefully, the Christmas holiday will put a stop to the orgy of reportage that has been going full steam ahead in F1 for the last two weeks, regarding who will replace Nico Rosberg at Mercedes. Once-great magazines, bedroom bloggers and bottom-feeders have been plopping out exclusives like incontinent sheep and we’ve seen stories about pretty much everyone being linked to the second Mercedes, from Valtteri Bottas to Forrest Gump.

To add to the clicks, each story is duly followed by a denial. It’s been clickbait heaven. Fans too have gone wild on social media, giving their opinions about who they think should get the drive and why. Bad news folks, Toto’s not reading it.

Some of these suggestions have been about as likely to happen as Mary Poppins being named team principal of Ferrari.

All this clutter has been like what the British used to call “Window”, thin aluminium strips dropped from planes to render radar screen useless, by swamping the system with signals and hiding the true path of the bomber squadrons.

And what have we learned? When you strip away the lights, the baubles and the tinsel, we have discovered that a tree is still a tree – even in a so-called post-truth world.

The story hasn’t changed: Mercedes has been after Valtteri Bottas, with Pascal Wehrlein sitting uncomfortably on the subs’ bench wearing a “What about me?” teeshirt, waiting while Toto Wolff has been pursuing Claire Williams around the Christmas tree, like an office party that has gone wild. She keeps saying “No” each time Wolff makes a suggestion.

Even without a Christmas woolly sweater, Toto is a Wolff in sheep’s clothing. He knows what he wants and in the end, Ms Williams must know that it is best for her to succumb to these lupine charms and give Valtteri the ride of his life.

Der Wolf is, after all, the man who provides Williams with its motive force and it would not be wise for Claire to hold out for too much, although she must do her best for her shareholders. As compromises go, free Mercedes engines and taking Felipe Massa back is a pretty good option for the future of Team Willy. After all, did Felipe retire of his own free will or would another season be acceptable to the old codger from Brazil? Or would Jenson Button mind making an F1 comeback?

The money that Williams will save can be invested in people and equipment to pull the Grove team back into contention. Williams has always worked on the theory that if you build the best cars, the best drivers will come to you. The problem is that it’s been a while since they have built the best cars.

Having said all of this, the twaddle has kept Mercedes and F1 in the news in a way that one simply cannot buy. And that’s a good thing… Oscar Wilde had it right: “There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”

In the meantime, after this blog item, you can expect to read something like this fairly soon:

“Monstersport.com can reveal that Mary Poppins could be named as team principal of Ferrari. We hear that Maurizio Arrivabene is moving to Disneyland, where he will be employed to frighten small children.

“We deny the story,” said a Ferrari spokesperson. “But it would be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious news. It would show that we don’t have a glass ceiling here in Maranello and it could be a big leap forward for Ferrari products in the umbrella industry.”

Disneyland said: “It all started with a mouse… It’s a small world.”