April 12, 2019 • Monica Castellon

I’m currently sitting at gate A23 in the Phoenix airport, waiting for my flight to start boarding for Portland. I still have about an hour to go so I decided to start writing. Wow, so many emotions are going through me. I’m excited, but nervous; actually, overwhelmed.

I just took a look at my Instagram archives and a memory popped up of this day last year. My absolute last drink. The last night I went all out. The night that has changed the past year of my life. The night that I had no idea would be what I thought was my last day on this earth.

I still can’t believe I had another shot. At life. I’ve been able to make this past year memorable and do it all with gratitude every step of the way.

As I sit here, watching people pass by, I can’t help but wonder if any of these people have taken a chance today to be grateful. Grateful for their loved ones, grateful to have the luxury to travel, grateful for the food in their hands, grateful for the electronics they have, grateful for being able to live to see another day. Another day to be thankful and another day to help another being.

I’m grateful and I’m waiting for the next person to trip so that I can pick them up and tell them to watch they’re fucking step! Just kidding, but I will help them up. Oh and hopefully no one trips. Haha.

- 9:43am

It has taken every bit of me to not take my ass to the nearest airport bar. I missed my flight and the first thing I thought of was, I NEED A FUCKING DRINK.

Boy I’m so upset that I have to waste a whole day at this airport. BUT I HAVE TO BE FUCKING GRATEFUL RIGHT?! So I need to keep reminding myself over and over, it’s okay bitch, so what you missed a flight, you’re still gonna get there so stop acting like a brat. I keep reminding myself that my HP was probably like nah bitch you ain’t getting on that flight, YOU THOUGHT. I guess so. I was able to finish a homework assignment that I was planning on doing before I left but wasn’t able to complete it. I took the time given to me as an advantage.

- 11:45am

I’m sitting at the bar at the airport, I’ve had 2 club soda with cranberry and I’m on my second sugar free redbull. I was literally falling asleep at the bar so I ordered a quesadilla, it wasn’t all that. I finally started talking to the dude next to me. I figured he was talker being he kept trying to talk to the guy next to him.

This guy hasn’t stopped talking, what did I do...

- 1:16pm

What. A. Day.



It has been nothing but amazing although God threw me some shit for me to handle.

My roomies Em and Sasha are great. I went out with Em and we got to learn some things about each other. I continued the night on my own and people watched all night. Portland is definitely weird. A good weird. I just got back to the hostel and all I have to say is thank you, God, for another day and thank you for keeping me sober.

Can’t wait to wake up to another beautiful day in Portland and see what else I can do to help someone.

- 1:30am

Xoxo.