Ethan Hawke, the guy best known for playing second fiddle to Denzel Washington in Training Day, has a lot to say about Donald Trump. Just not a lot of intelligent things to say. His line of thinking is pretty much what you'd expect from a 45-year-old man who earns a living by dressing up and playing pretend. What does he have to say, you might ask? Prepare thy LOLs:

“You don’t need a daughter to be offended by what a guy says,” he told The Daily Beast in an interview published Monday. “When you see a man, if he wins, threatening to put his opponent in jail?” Hawke said, adding, “That’s fascist behavior.” Hawke said Trump is resonating with voters who dislike the possibility that Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton could become America’s first female president. “What ‘Make America Great Again’ means is not lost on any of us,” he said of Trump’s campaign slogan. “It means ‘white’ and ‘male.’"

Let's get something super important out of the way first:

Doth my eyes deceive me, or did Hawke say jailing a criminal is "fascist behavior"? Hillary Clinton has broken more laws than Hawke's broken blockbuster records. Wait, maybe that's not a good analogy. Hillary Clinton has broken more laws than Hawke has won Oscars. Wait... that's not a good analogy either. Give me a minute, I'll think of something.

While I'm trying to insult Hillary and Hawke, let's examine actual fascist behavior. For a little compare/contrast exercise. See, Ethan Hawke's left-wing friends want to jail climate skeptics. As in toss people in jail for the crime of not agreeing with an inane idea like man-made climate change (of the hot hots). Also fascism? 9th Circuit Court Forces Pro-Life Centers to Advertise Abortion. Funnily enough, Mr. Hawke was not available for comment on either of those cases.

So what exactly is fascist about holding someone accountable for their actions? In this case, Hillary Clinton? Certainly a man of Hawke's stature is aware of these pesky little things called "rules" yes? Perhaps not, since Hawke is part of the Hollywood set. An elitist group of rubes who prattle on about laws for the common man, but do not follow themselves. After all, leftist Hollywood twits blather on about gun control. While conveniently hiding behind armed security. As their photo is taken for their new movie poster. In which they're holding a gun...

Listening to Hawke whine about Hillary and Trump is at least more bearable than that time I watched Boyhood. Word of advice? Don't watch it. You're welcome.

What is it that inspires these celebrities' into thinking the rest of us desperately need their political opinion (see FAIL: Desperate Celebrities Make Another Pathetic Anti-Trump Ad!)? Maybe some of that pretentiousness from Dead Poet's Society (respect to Robin Williams, though) rubbed off on him. The classiness sure didn't.

You know an actor has nothing to say when he pulls the double-sided fascist/racist card. It's fine if you don't like Trump. But Hillary Clinton does belong in prison. For many reasons. Far too many to list here and keep your attention. Trump says he intends to follow the letter of the law in prosecuting her for her crimes. Because she broke laws. Not because she's a woman. Allegedly.

If one of the candidates is a fascist, Ethan, it ain't Trump...

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