“The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.”

– Mark Twain

“They inconvenience us whenever they raise taxes,” Timothy Andrew Norris told the KFDX News interviewer, “so why wouldn’t we inconvenience them to receive those taxes?”

We call him the “Origami Taxpayer.”

Norris, a 27-year old Texan, walked into the Wichita County Courthouse to pay his $600 property tax.

But he wasn’t content with just dropping off a check.

Instead, Tim came in with 600 dollar bills, 50 of which were folded in such a way that, according to an official statement, “required tax office personnel approximately six minutes to unfold each bill.”

Here’s how he folded them…

The head honcho of the office, Tommy Smyth, didn’t like Norris’ game.

Smyth told Norris that his origami skills were too tight and that he had to leave. The origami, the head said, was a disruption to Wichita County’s Tax office.

Norris then briefly cited Section 31 of the U.S. Code 5103, which states: “United States coins and currency [including Federal reserve notes and circulating notes of Federal reserve banks and national banks] are legal tender for all debts, public charges, taxes, and dues.”

He pointed out that it doesn’t stipulate that the currency cannot be folded.

Smyth shot back by calling over deputy David Duke. And the tussle begins…

“One’s got my arm. One’s got my throat,” Norris recalls. “And I’m being pulled back and, you know, it’s a natural reaction to try and catch your balance when you feel like you’re falling back. And I guess they saw it as resisting arrest. So, I got taken down to the ground and tased for about 15 seconds.”

Norris was charged with criminal trespass and resisting arrest. He was taken to Wichita County Jail and released after posting $500 bail.

Duke the Deputy said there was no tasing. But Norris told reporters that he recorded the entire incident and plans to post it on Youtube.

So we shall see…

Ahhh… smell that?

No, that’s not the burnt hair from the taser…

It’s the smell of burning money. It’s tax time!

We can already see the thoughts roiling around in your brain. Your eyes flipping from left to right as you pull what’s left of your hair out.

What are you going to do?

Accelerate your income? Defer it? Make extra charitable contributions? Sell some stocks for a loss? Bond fund swap? Use your flex spending plan? Send a $14,000 gift? Bunch your deductions?

Gah!

Fortunately, there’s still time to figure everything out.

And more good fortune: there are many ways that we can help you LEGALLY stick it to the taxman this tax year. Far outside of the conventional techniques.

That’s right. Our research team has uncovered a total of 97 ways to save a king’s ransom on your taxes this year.

All you need to bring to the table is a burning desire in your loins (or wherever else you want to burn) to keep an extra $4,800 or more in your pocket this year.

More on that in a moment.

First, let’s get a bit more angry about taxes.

“It lies in the nature of things that the beginnings are slight,” the Italian historian Francesco Guicciardini wrote in 1538, “but unless great care is taken, the rates will multiply rapidly and finally will reach a point that no one could have foreseen.”

America’s first citizens — possibly the freest creatures who ever lived — enjoyed a life of little to no taxes.

(Imagine that!)

For perspective, it was at the beginning of the 20th century when the government guzzled down only 8% of the national income.

Today, federal, state, and local taxes eat up nearly 50% of the national income. Up 42% in 100 years.

When you look at all the taxes that have stacked up over these years, it’s pretty impressive.

Let’s see…

[Flipping through pages…]

We have those taxes you pay directly: income taxes, sales taxes, property taxes, Social Security taxes…

And…

[Flipping a few more pages…]

Taxes when you die… taxes when you give gifts… taxes when you take a…

Oh, sorry. That one hasn’t been implemented yet.

But you get the point.

And then there are those taxes you pay, but you don’t see. The “invisibles.”

Like taxes on corporations and imports.

But wait, Chris, how do taxes on corporations and imports affect me?

Well, the savvy businesspeople at the top sure aren’t going to let them affect their bottom-line. They’ll just pass those taxes onto you — the consumer — and the tax will get added to everything you buy.

And what about employer taxes that reduce your wages?

And those pesky excise taxes that are harder to spot than a couple bedbugs in a jar of black beans…

Excise taxes, taxes paid when a purchase is made, burrow themselves into the prices of your lemons and your bread… inside of your Internet bill… and all the other products and services you use on the daily.

In the end, after all of these taxes, about 50% of your income is sucked into this black hole. Gobbled up by the big tax machine to keep the government fat, sweaty and underworked.

Think about that…

Half the work you do is devoted to propping up the government.

To the government’s credit, this means someone up there is kind enough to let you keep the other half of your money to support your family.

Such gracious overlords.

In light of serfdom season, let’s take a look at some of the more ridiculous taxes we’re forced to pay around the country…

If you live in New York City, you’re lucky enough to get to pay a tax on “prepared foods.” So if someone slices a bagel for you, that bagel is taxed once as food and then again as prepared food. Sliced bagel tax.

Booya. You’ve been taxed!

If you hail from Pennsylvania, you get to pay a tax on coin-operated vacuum machines at gas stations. Fitting. Because they’ll suck it out of you wherever they can get it.

Keystoners, taxed!

If you’re currently living in Pittsburgh, you’re stuck with a 5% “amusement tax.” Anything that offers entertainment or allows people to engage in entertainment falls under the soul-sucking umbrella of this tax.

Enjoy. And get slapped with a tax!

If you live in Tennessee and you’re a drug dealer or a pimp, you’re required to anonymously pay taxes on any illegal activities. Just don’t tell them what you do.

Never happens… taxed!

(The IRS also taxes stolen property. Your 1040 instructions will tell you to report it as stolen property, but you have the option of reporting it as “other income” so you’re not incriminating yourself. Just watch out if you have an audit. Or just don’t report it. More importantly, just don’t steal.)

Reside in Arkansas? Well, you just paid a special 6% tax on that nipple ring, pet grooming, and gutter cleaning you just got.

Nipple ring tax!

Dwell in California? Avoid fresh fruit from a vending machine. There’s a 33% tax on that.

Who buys fruit from a vending machine anyways? Nobody tax!

Inhabit Texas? there’s an oddly-specific tax on the holiday-themed portraits you slap on those windows each year. Some Texan taxman chuckles every time he drives past your house and sees your window decorations.

“Sucker… taxed!”

[Know some more ridiculous taxes? Send ‘em our way: Chris@lfb.org.]

Pretty ridiculous stuff, eh?

Well, luckily there are things you can do to get back at the tax man. We have tons of tricks up our sleeve. Many of which we use ourselves…

In fact, we have a full checklist of 97. And today, we’re going to share with you the BIGGEST one in our arsenal.

Sure, it might be an obvious one. But many Americans have no idea just how powerful it can be. Our tax expert (who you’ll meet in a moment) says it is literally what separates the rich from the not-so-rich.

He’ll reveal it in a moment. And tell you why it’s so important.

First, here’s a revolting truth about taxes…

Most people believe that if they play it safe, keep their deductions conservative, and tip-toe through their 1040s, they’ll decrease their odds of being audited.

But that’s 100% wrong.

Actually, our research has uncovered that being conservative makes you an easier target. To a taxman, you look like a lost fawn with a broken leg.

When you take all the possible deductions you can and record them properly, you’re safer than you would be otherwise.

Ridiculous? Maybe. But it’s the truth.

And as you’ll soon see, saving money on taxes can be simple.

“In the past nine months since using this information,” our Laissez Faire director Doug Hill writes, “I’ve accumulated $5,367.28 in deductions by using just one of the 97 items on this checklist. And I’ve tracked it to the penny with just a couple clicks on my iPhone a few times per week.”

Doug’s far from alone.

More than 120,000 Americans are using at least a few of these 97 tricks to grow a little bit wealthier this year — and stick it to the tax man.

And now, with a little help from our IRS insider, so can you…

Today, I’m going to share one of our BIGGEST tax secrets from our hidden tax report.

“I get queries from reporters all the time asking me for one tip that would reduce many people’s taxes,” our own tax attorney Sandy Botkin CPA, begins.

“Without hesitation, my answer is to start up a full-time or part-time small or home-based business.”

According to Sandy, there are two tax systems in the U.S. Most people think these are… one for the poor… one for the rich.

Wrong.

Rather, Sandy writes, “It is one to make you rich and one to make you poor. The one to make you poor is for employees.

Why? Three reasons…

“First, they don’t get that many deductions.

“Second, they are taxed on the first dollar they earn. If they have employee business expenses, these expenses must exceed a threshold before any deduction can be taken.

“Finally, if you take too many employee deductions, you could be forced to pay a U.S. alternative minimum tax that results in the complete elimination of employee and itemized deductions.

“However, if you have a small business, you can get all deductions available to employees, AND you get to write off part of your house, your spouse, and the equivalent of your kids’ education.

“You can set up a pension plan that makes any government plan look small.

“Additionally, you get to take all of your business deductions with no threshold. You are not taxed on dollar one, like employees are. Instead, you get to take all of your business deductions before you pay any tax on your net income.”

Seriously.

And that’s not all. Here are three more “secret” perks to having a small business (even if it’s a teeny-tiny business)…

Business deductions aren’t subject to any elimination under alternative minimum tax.

Also if your business dips in the red, you can use that loss against any form of income. Salaries. Gains. Pensions. Interest. All of it.

“If the loss exceeds all of this,” says Sandy, “you can carry back all business losses two years.”

And third? “You get to carry over any excess losses up to 20 years!

“Thus, you never lose a properly documented business deduction as long as you are working your business like a business and not like a hobby.

“Bottom line: I can’t fathom why anyone wouldn’t want to set up a small business. In fact, they might make enough money to be able to quit their job and walk away from their boss.”

Lots of reader mail to sift through. We’re compiling a “best of LFT fitness” to share with you this week.

So no reader mail today.

You’re just going to have to tune in tomorrow. Darn.

Until then,

Chris Campbell