(Photo: The Onion)

Congratulations are in order, we guess; when called, at last, to our final judgment, and asked to give an accounting of our deeds, at least we’ll all be able to say that we outlasted JNCOs in the end. This is per SFGate, which reports that Los Angeles clothing mainstay JNCO Jeans is closing, and that the company will be “liquidating all extra wide-legged pants.”


The Judge None Choose One brand—once the height of fashion, when it was adopted by skaters, graffiti artists, and, five years later, desperate-to-be-hip kids in Indiana middle schools—attempted to reboot itself in recent years with fresh new fashion lines that didn’t automatically make people think of a flying squirrel crafted entirely out of denim, but to no avail. The company released a statement yesterday, writing that, “While this is an end of an era for JNCO, what JNCO stands for will continue to live on in all of our customers and fans who will carry on the spirit of our brand and all it represents.”

We can only assume that distraught pants fans will be flying their trousers at half-mast for the rest of the afternoon.