PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A WIP AND THEREFORE UNEDITED

CHAPTER ONE

It was a sordid situation and if she hadn’t felt such hate, she may have been afraid. But Alice Kincaid, young as she was, realised that if she was to survive and have any kind of life then she had to take action, and she had to take it now.

She lay on her single bed and let her hands run the length of her small body, no breasts to speak of and hip bones that jutted out, partly due to malnourishment and partly because no one cared enough to notice that she wasn’t eating the meagre amounts of food offered to her.

He was a bastard was Bill and she wished that she could kill him, and her, the fat disgusting Valerie who had not a maternal bone in her body, but managed a pretty decent show for the authorities when they made their six monthly visits.

Even that was about to change with her turning sixteen at the end of the month, there would be no more visits and what did it matter anyway? She had never had the courage to speak out or plead for help. She just kept taking it. Well she wasn’t going to any more. She wasn’t.

And so Alice lay there, sleep far from her mind and plotted. She would run away after her birthday and find a way to survive. She had no money and she wouldn’t be alone for long, but there surely had to be an alternative to this existence.

She wasn’t a strong girl, she was a victim that had been tossed into a system that patted itself on the back when another orphan was placed and virtually walked away from any developments.

There was no way in the world that Bill and Valerie had been vetted. They had simply shown up at the right place, at the right time offering a home to a parent less child.

She never, ever, wondered about her birth parents, although sometimes she could recollect a faint scent of Freesia, usually when she was falling asleep and she imagined that this must be a memory of her mother from somewhere deep in her subconscious. She didn’t know their names and didn’t want to.

Who would have any feeling for a pair of junkies who had abandoned their baby, without a second thought for its safety or welfare and just walk away?

She had ended up in the system until Bill and Valerie had somehow managed to convince the authorities that they would make a good mother and father for an unwanted, unloved child. And just like that her fate was sealed and she became the plaything of a monster.

She knew that Bill Harris was a sick man. He had to be. He had started raping her when she reached puberty after years of forcing her to perform unthinkable actions that she tried to blot out.

But then she supposed she should be thankful that he waited that long. But he wasn’t to be congratulated for his patience. He had waited because he liked the taste of blood.

And the thing that really fucked her off was that he always knew. And he knew because that cow Valerie told him.

Valerie Harris showed no feeling or concern for her husband’s depravity and Alice had long since decided that they only adopted her to show that they were a charitable family or just maybe because a little girl in the fold was a well conceived plan to fulfil the disgusting desires of him, and take the pressure off of her, eventually.

Alice almost understood why Valerie did it. She was happy that she didn’t have to put up with the fucking ugly bastard shagging her when Alice had her time of the month. She bought the protection needed and then waved the calendar in front of his face.

On that first morning when she woke with a gnawing, cramping pain in her stomach she had no idea what was happening to her or what it would mean.

Despite the lack of love, Valerie had taken her to the bathroom and told her that she was a woman now and that her life would never be the same again. She handed over enormous sanitary towels and left her to get on with it.

It was only by confiding in her only friend, Maggie, that she learned about the menstrual cycle when they went to her home and her mother had explained the workings.

She was totally unimpressed that Valerie had not taken the time to inform her of the changes occurring within her body and she went on to give her “the birds and the bees” story, which completely horrified her and convinced her that she would never let a boy anywhere near her. Ha!

During that first month she had become aware of Bill watching her in a way that he had never done before. In fact he had taken no interest in her whatsoever other than to yell for the pettiest of reasons.

On the day her second period started, Valerie was at the cinema with a friend and she was in the kitchen doing her homework.

Bill Harris had come in and abandoned his coffee mug on the draining board and stood looking at her.

“It’s time you contributed something back to this household. Well over nine years now we have provided you with everything. Don’t you think you would like to give something back?”

Alice had looked up, not sure what to say to him, or really even understanding what he meant.

“Do you want me to give you the money from my paper round? It’s not much but you can have it if you need it.” So naïve.

“No Alice. I don’t want your fucking pocket-money. I want you to come with me. Now.”

Something about the way he had spoken and the way he continued to look at her had caused her to shiver and she’d gripped the edge of the table as she stood.

Had she known, she would most likely have tried to run. But she didn’t.

She followed him back into the lounge where he hovered at the bottom of the stairs. She’d just looked at him.

“Right Alice. You come with me now and you do exactly as I tell you. Understand?”

She’d nodded, not understanding at all.

When they’d reached the door to their bedroom, his and Valerie’s, she started to fear what was about to happen, even though she had no idea what it would be.

Once they were in the room, he’d locked the door and put the key in the top drawer of the chest.

“Take your clothes off.”

“What? Why? What are you going to do?”

“Just shut the fuck up you little bitch and do as I tell you. Take your clothes off. Slowly.”

She had stood there, frozen to the spot as he had sat on the edge of the bed and watched her. She looked around at the door and her eyes slid to the chest but she hadn’t a hope in hell of getting the key and leaving.

What was she to do? She could not have imagined what he was thinking and she would never, ever have guessed what was to follow in a million years.

And so on that first occasion she had little choice other than to do as he commanded and over time Bill Harris did things to Alice that no girl should ever have to experience.

Alice had no notion that as her life unwound she would come to understand that for some men it is a really big turn on to have sex during a menstrual cycle, but for a naïve girl just starting her periods it was horror personified to be made to remove a sanitary towel so that the man who was supposed to be her guardian could feast on her blood.

She has been enduring these attacks for four years now, it was illegal because she was still a child and had she known who to turn to, Mr Harris would be doing a serious amount of time. But she didn’t, and he wasn’t.

So there you have it. Raised as she had been by the violent, drunken Bill and the fat useless Valerie, she had no concept of what love and caring meant.

She learned from a very young age that, as with her step-father, if you want something, you take it and you didn’t let anyone get in your way until you had it.