Debates about racism in Australia are always contentious, more so when they involve political representatives, but the public should be forthright in speaking out against appeals to fear.

Australians should resist attempts to divide the country according to race or religion. It’s only right to expect political representatives to set the tone for society.

Yet Australia’s values of civility and tolerance are being tested. In the Senate last week Pauline Hanson said that Australia was being swamped by Muslims, that immigration should be halted, and that immigrants who don’t endorse an Australian way of life should “go back where they came from”.

Many may be asking about the response to such political rhetoric. Should you engage with those who may be intolerant of cultural diversity or racial difference? Is it worth accepting that significant section of the Australian community may be holding such views? Should racial ugliness be killed with kindness, empathy and understanding?

First, it is essential that Australia remain a society committed to non-discrimination and tolerance. There should be no excuses for the advocacy of discrimination and the expression of intolerance. Acknowledging people’s concerns doesn’t mean endorsing them. This doesn’t in any way mean stifling freedom of expression. Those sympathetic to populist political rhetoric about race, immigration and Islam are, of course, entitled to their view. But they are not entitled to engage in vilification or discrimination. They are not entitled to be coddled or be protected from criticism.

Everyone has a right to free speech and to call out prejudice, racism and bigotry. If people don’t want to be called racist or bigoted, they can begin by not doing things that involve racism or bigotry.

And as part of listening to community concerns about issues, it’s also worth listening to those who experience racism or bigotry.

Australians have a natural sympathy with battlers. But on matters of race and free speech, the battlers aren’t political representatives or media commentators who enjoy regular, prominent public platforms to express their views. The real battlers are those whose voices are only rarely heard, or whose voices get silenced by racism.

When politicians target particular groups with their rhetoric, it can affect what children experience in the schoolyard, and what their parents experience in their workplace.

There’s a need, though, to retain perspective. The vast majority of Australians are comfortable with multiculturalism. We shouldn’t overstate the small minority who are hostile towards it. Five per cent of people across the country voted for One Nation, but 95% of Australians did not.

Moreover, we must avoid the complacency of believing that there may be nothing more Australian than intolerance – to believe that copping racism is just part of some initiation rite for any immigrant group. Some say that just as the Irish, Italians, Greeks and Asians copped ugliness, so too must Muslims. According to this view, immigrants must show forbearance, become part of the mainstream, and then be free to have a go at the next lot who arrive.

While racism and bigotry may never be eradicated, it isn’t good enough to say its targets must grin and bear it, or that there’s nothing that can be done.

Most of those who have experienced racism don’t endure it thinking they will one day get their own back by dishing it out themselves. That’s not how racism works. It’s no accident that it is our multicultural communities – the Jewish, the Chinese, the Arabs, the Greeks, among many others – who are most prominent in fighting racism. It is perverse to suggest that the greatest aspiration for immigrants should be the power of having a go at the next lot.

Finally, let’s tackle the question of whether we should kill ugliness with kindness. It’s one thing to discuss matters, including race and religion, in a civil and respectful manner. But it’s another thing to ask those who are vulnerable to discrimination to suck it up and be nice to those who are dishing it. Such kindness and generosity is rarely if ever reciprocated. Too often, people forget that the burden of racial tolerance is borne unequally by those who are its targets.

All this goes to perhaps one aspect of racism that not everyone may appreciate. Racism isn’t just about prejudice and discrimination; it’s also about power.

• Tim Soutphommasane is Australia’s race discrimination commissioner