WINDSOR, UK – In an elaborate and lavish spectacle watched by millions around the world today, an irrelevant member of an obsolete class system wedded a heretofore little-known cast member of the USA network’s Wednesday night lineup.

“Everything was just so wondrous and inspiring!” exclaimed Sheila Dunphries of North Bay, Ontario who both never has and never will meet either of the married couple. “I feel so happy for these two beautiful people.”

Harry, well known as the uncle of the toddler who will technically be referred to as a King in about 50 years unless the entire concept of the monarchy is abolished by then, first met Meghan in Toronto where she filmed a show about people who are lawyers, except one maybe isn’t. Like all great romances, their love soon blossomed as the Prince did things he was able to do by virtue of his association with a historically powerful institution, and Meghan retired from an unremarkable acting career at the age of 36.

“A love story for the ages! Everything was just perfect for these two sweeties,” said Marsha Northrop of Salt Lake City, Utah, who believed the groom’s name was Prince Harvey until yesterday. “And I just love Megan Minkel in that show that she does, the one that people watch. Grey’s Anatomy?”

Indeed, people the world over have become truly enamoured with the scion of generations of inbreeding and his wife, the star of a television show critics agree is “fine, I suppose.” Ratings records were set worldwide by those viewers feeling a deep and profound connection with an ostentatious wedding thrown by people who can easily afford it.