SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – A large tertiary care center in Sydney, Australia is pulling out all the stops to try and cut their expenses. As of next month, all doctors and nurses currently on staff will be replaced by parents who have done research on the Internet.

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SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – A large tertiary care center in Sydney, Australia is pulling out all the stops to try and cut their expenses.

As of next month, all doctors and nurses currently on staff will be replaced by parents who have done research on the Internet.

“I can’t tell you how happy and relieved I am when a patient tells me they have done some research on the internet,” said head of neurology, Dr. Eric Sheppard. “It’s only topped by a patient telling me they have a family member who is a nurse.”

The hospital is excited about how much money this move should save them, not to mention the overwhelming support from parents everywhere.

“This is a great move in my opinion,” said anti-vaccer Meryl Dorey. “Most parents know more than doctors anyways, so this is a huge step in the right direction.”

Fake doctors are also supportive of the decision and are hoping to be given consideration for available positions: “I have two internet doctorates and know far more about how to heal people than any medical doctor,” said “Doctor” Dante Seers. “I would love to go into more detail but it will cost you $1495.”

The current staff are in the process of being moved to other, less innovative health centers.