What is it with modern day parenting and motherhood specifically that some people behave with little regard for others, as if they’re entitled to certain privileges simply because they gave birth?

The latest example of this happened last week when a woman changed her 12-week-old baby’s dirty nappy (twice) on a dining table at the Green Grass Home and Body Park Bench Espresso Bar in Brisbane. This was done in view of other patrons. When the mother asked the manager if she had a problem with what she’d done, the manager, “gave an honest answer which was I’d prefer it if you didn’t change nappies in front of my other customers who were upset.”

The mother then posted a one star review on Google. Defending her actions, she also presumed to speak on behalf of all mothers, writing:

“Mothers don’t need your judgment or criticism. We have enough pressure and stress we deal with on a daily basis. We rarely get the opportunity to get out and have a coffee amidst the long list of things we are doing for our families every single day. I am sorry (not sorry) you are so terribly offended by a tiny baby’s tiny little dirty nappy that you think it necessary to criticise.”

I should point out the cafe manager, who didn’t go to the media, has not only thanked people for their support but asked for understanding to be extended to the mother at the centre of this “tiny” shit storm.

media_camera The scene of the “crime”. (Pic: Supplied)

There’s been a huge reaction to the incident. This is because people are tired of some parents acting as if their needs and priorities, and those of their offspring, outweigh and therefore matter more than anyone else’s.

Newsflash: stress, pressure and long lists of duties are not exclusive to motherhood.

There’s no doubt, we live in a world of divas where it’s all about “Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.”

Described as the rise of “individual exceptionalism” (believing you’re extraordinary in some way), it threatens to turn, as Robert Walsh, writing in The Huffington Post claims, “personal accountability into an anachronism.”

Individual exceptionalism isn’t the same as a healthy self-esteem or self-confidence. It’s a sense of being more special than everyone else.

For some reason, there are mothers who feel they’re so extraordinary, they can be held to different standards; the rules don’t apply to them.

Unfortunately, this sense of entitlement carries over to children.

Instead of these women recognising they’re an ongoing part of the historical-social fabric, doing what’s been done since humans existed (only with more timesaving devices, legal and social support), it’s as if they’ve invented motherhood the moment their baby was expelled from the womb.

media_camera There are mothers who feel they’re so extraordinary, the rules don’t apply to them. Unfortunately, this sense of entitlement carries over to children. (Pic: Getty)

Competitive parenting also fosters this.

While social media and blogs can build a sense of community and ease isolation and anxiety for many mothers/parents, they also create the illusion that giving birth and raising a child is somehow absolutely astonishing and so is the person responsible.

Only many mothers/parents aren’t taking responsibility for their progeny — particularly in public. Worse, they’re acting like they don’t have to and that they (and their kids) are entitled to special treatment.

Examples are profuse — from children running amok in adult restaurants (one child urinated on the floor and the waitress cleaned it up), flights (kicking the back of seats for example), and other public forms of transport, disruptive behaviour at movies (or simply being taken to adult ones), hospitals, doctor’s surgeries, running around supermarkets, being brats at weddings, funerals, to even interrupting adult conversations with unruly demands and forgetting their manners.

I mean, what’s happened to “please” and “thank you”? What’s happened to “sorry?”

What’s happened to teaching even young kids to respect others and their needs and priorities? To setting consistent rules and age-appropriate boundaries — especially in communal spaces?

Instead, parents act as if their children are the centre of everyone’s universe.

No, they’re not. They might be the centre of the parents’ universe (though according to experts, that’s not even right — it risks making them entitled), but to others, they’re simply another little human with whom we share this planet.

Considering most of us have raised or know and love children, we are empathetic and understand when they misbehave, challenge or interrupt what is really precious adult time and make it untenable. What other adults (parents and non-parents) don’t like or want is attitude — a sense that somehow, your rights and your kids’ wants trump ours.

Because, no matter how dirty the nappy, how young, beautiful, or “special” the child, how stressed and pressured you are, they really, truly don’t.

Originally published as Mums, stop acting like you’re better than everyone