Yesterday I told you about the classy mofo who decided the best way to restrain someone half his size was by stomping on ’em. Well now we know who Mr. Wonderful is! His name is Tim Profitt and he was a volunteer with Ayn Rand Paul’s campaign. And, in true Tealiban form, he issued his very own nonpology regarding his fucktardery:

I’m sorry that it came to that, and I apologize if it appeared overly forceful, but I was concerned about Rand’s safety

He’s sorry if YOU think he was being to forceful. Then he tries to blame the police:

“A friend of mine went up to three policeman before Rand got there, and told them about the girl who was standing there with that wig on and that she was getting ready to do something,” Profitt said. “The policemen looked at him and said that’s not our job.”

For a bunch of people who claim to support the Constitution, the Teabaggers have a real funny way of showing it. The woman who was assaulted, Lauren Valle, had every right to protest Mr. Paul and his party outside of that debate that night. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. And I’ll say it again, what kind libertarian complains about not enough of a police presence? MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MINDS!

But wait! There’s more! He then goes on to give an interview that is just so chock full of wtf that I had to interrupt my busy day (that involved doing laundry and reading) to share it with you. You’re welcome!

When we spoke to Profitt, he asked that his face not appear on camera, but he wanted to defend himself. “She’s a professional at what she does,” Profitt said, referring to the MoveOn.org activist, “and I think when all the facts come out, I think people will see that she was the one that initiated the whole thing.”

She initiated the whole thing by, you know, standing there with that wig on!!

Profitt claims he believed Paul was in danger from the woman and that he acted to protect the candidate, but the campaign has condemned Profitt’s actions. “I put my foot on her, and I did push her down at the very end, and I told her to stay down,” Proffitt said, “I actually put my foot on her to… I couldn’t bend over because I have issues with my back.”

Ahh, I see. He couldn’t bend over and restrain her so he decided to fucking stomp on her instead. You know, because of his back issues. You understand now, right?

“I don’t think it’s that big of a deal,” Profitt said.

Right. Now ask him if he’d still think it was ‘no big deal’ if some dude did that shit to his daughter.

And when asked if he would apologize to Valle. “I would like for her to apologize to me to be honest with you,” Profitt said.

She TOTALLY should! I mean, her body was BLOCKING his access to the ground! She contaminated the bottom of his shoe with her liberal flesh. HOW DARE SHE interfere with his CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT to pursue happiness by stomping! It’s all Barack HUSSEIN Obama’s fault!

I think she should apologize to all of us for wearing that ridiculous wig. Other than that, I hope she presses charges. I also hope she takes him to civil court. Seriously, bullies should have to pay for their disgusting behavior. I applaud Ms. Valle for having the cojones to stand up for what’s right.

Another thing. I don’t know how things are done in Kentucky, but I humbly ask Mr. Profitt to come on over to Brooklyn and try to pull some shit like that. I can guarantee the outcome would be MUCH different…

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