Fact 86% of people suffer with Boarderline Personality disorder and don’t know about it – and when they are diagnosed it is usually when they are in their 50s. I am 23 years old and I have been diagnosed with this disorder with advance onset. Pretty much I am a severe case. At least I was until now.

I am a BPD (boarderline personality disorder) sufferer. It has taken 4 years for me to learn to say that without fearing rejection, judgement or other adverse reaction towards me (generally by me). How did I learn to say it well, that a whole new story. One of which one day I will share.

I have BPD, I didn’t catch it like aids, I didn’t contract it like cancer, I didn’t smoke a million cigarettes or drink until my liver exploded. I was precondition by the people in my childhood to have BPD, I was pre conditioned to fear, rejection, abuse, not being accepted as a person, and being emotionally tormented and crushed day to day. People say to me ‘My mother use to make me clean my room’ my reaction ‘that’s nice, I have an internal battle that I have with myself everyday which usually ends up in mass anxiety attacks, panic, anger, frustration and usually ends finally with me in bed crying like a 2 year old, and not having any idea why because of my parents, and you had to clean your room’ I know its a really bad way to put other peoples childhood issues as all of us deal with things differently but this is part of the condition I have. Part of my disorder is that I am harsh, I am insensitive and I find it very hard to empathise. Another part, where the emotions I have learnt (such as anger, fear, frustration, anxiety) fail me, I emotionally shut and off use cold hard logic only generally resulting in me hurting some just as bad emotionally because I am not giving them emotional support they need.

SO you know someone like me, that’s great. Do you understand that person? I didn’t think so, so this blog is for the sufferers and the people surrounding them as well. I designed it to help people understand, and maybe point close family and friends in the right direction as far as lending out a helping hand or supporting that person. Remember you think they are harsh – they are doing 10x worse (at least) to themselves everyday.

So I have different sections of this blog. Sometimes I focus on symptoms and how I help myself deal with them and how my partner helps me deal with them. Sometimes I write about the thoughts and issues I have had through the day – so you can kind of see a day in the life of…. I am covering all basis.

Important Note: I am not a psychologist or a mental health professional. I am just a girl trying to survive the day like every other sufferer. I just thought that there was enough medical jargon about BPD out there, it was time to hear for some who sufferers with it. So take my coping methods, quote me, reference me. I don’t care. Use whatever you need to cope I am just hear to help.

Enjoy.

BPDjuju