Last week, we learned that First Son-in-Law Jared Kushner had spoken to Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman regarding the speculation, fanned by both U.S. and Turkish intelligence officials, that the Saudi ruler had ordered the killing of journalist and dissident Jamal Khashoggi. At the time, we were vaguely told that Kushner “asked for more details,” and requested that his buddy M.B.S. “be transparent in the investigation process,” but didn’t really get any specifics about the conversation. Now, though, we’ve got a better idea of what might have been said! We’re just guessing here, but it seems likely Kushner opened the conversation by telling the prince, “A month from now, no one will even remember you were accused of murdering and dismembering a man; this is no worse than that time your army accidentally slaughtered a bunch of kids, and no one ever mentions that anymore,” and closed it by saying, “Everyone here has got your back,” and maybe, “I know what you’re going through,” and possibly, “I love you, man. We’ll get through this together.” Per The New York Times:

Kushner, Mr. Trump’s son-in-law and Middle East adviser, has been urging the president to stand by Prince Mohammed, according to a person close to the White House and a former official with knowledge of the discussions.

Mr. Kushner has argued that the outrage over Mr. Khashoggi’s disappearance and possible killing will pass, just as it did after other Saudi errors like the kidnapping of the prime minister of Lebanon and the killing of a busload of children in Yemen by a Saudi airstrike.

Update: after this story was published, The New York Times revised its story to remove both lines about Kushner. The new version reads, “Mr. Kushner has argued that the crown prince can survive the outrage just as he has weathered past criticism.”

Kushner, of course, doesn’t offer this kind of support for just any despot—it is reserved for the ones with whom he’s forged close, personal friendships. As a reminder, Kushner and M.B.S. first bonded over lunch at the White House back in March 2017, and from there it’s basically been a Laverne and Shirley routine for the 21st century, if Laverne was a little rich boy who’s only held jobs given to him by his father or father-in-law, and Shirley got her rocks off rounding up and imprisoning her own cousins. In fact, we assume that part, if not all, of the attraction between the two is based on the fact that they both know what it’s like to always get whatever they want and never pay any consequences. (“A source close to Kushner” denies the Times report is accurate, for what it’s worth.)

Meanwhile, Saudi rulers are reportedly considering throwing a top intelligence official, General Ahmed al-Assiri, under the bus for the killing of Khashoggi—who even Trump now says is probably dead—in an attempt to deflect blame from M.B.S. According to the Times, Saudi officials are “expected to say that General Assiri received verbal authorization from Prince Mohammed to capture Mr. Khashoggi for an interrogation in Saudi Arabia, but either misunderstood his instructions or overstepped that authorization and took the dissident’s life.” Obviously, that explanation would concede the crown prince directed his personal goon squad to kidnap a U.S. resident for being mean to him, but hey, who hasn’t done that? We’ve all done things we might regret.