GEE MA, I WANNA GO HOME (Author Unknown) They say that in the army The coffee's mighty fine Well, it's good for cuts and bruises, But it tastes like turpentine! Oh, I don't want no more of army life Gee Ma, I wanna go home! The chicken in the army, They say is mighty fine, A drum rolled off the table And squashed a pal of mine! Oh, I don't want no more of army life! Gee Ma, I wanna go home! The clothing that they give us They say is mighty fine Well, me and half my regiment Can all fit into mine Oh, I don't want no more of army life Gee Ma, I wanna go home! The salary that they pay us, They say is mighty fine They give you thirty dollars And take back forty-nine Oh, I don't want no more of army life Gee Ma, I wanna go, Gee Ma I gotta go, Gee Ma, I wanna go home! ***** ALTERNATE VERSION: As used in the TV show "Mash" Father Mulcahy: A chaplain in the Army Has a collar on his neck, If you don't listen to him You'll all wind up in heck. All: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home! Colonel Potter: Friendships in the Army They say are mighty rare, So I spend all my free time Carousing with my mare. All: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home! Radar O'Reilly: The corporals in the Army You say we're really green, But if it weren't for us guys You'd be in the latrine. All: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home! Margaret Houlihan: Oh some nurses in the Army They haven't tied the knot, But this one's gonna try it With Donald Penobscott. All: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home! Hawkeye & B.J.: Oh the surgeons in the Army They say we're mighty bright, We work on soldiers through the day And nurses through the night. All: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home! The Nurses: The surgeons in the Army They're bright, they are profound, But we'll take chopper pilots They'll get you off the ground. All: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home! Corporal Klinger: Oh some guys like the Army I think that it's a mess, If it's so damn terrific How come I wear a dress? All: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home! Frank Burns: Oh Hawkeye and ol' B.J. They think they're pretty smart I'd like to take a scalpel And stab them in the heart. All: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go, But they won't let me go, Gee Ma, I wanna go home!