Kirkman first brought attention to the rumors surrounding C.K. years before he admitted to masturbating in front of several female comics.

Comedian Jen Kirkman has taken to social media to sound off on Louis C.K.’s sexual misconduct just days after C.K. made a polarizing return by performing a surprise set at New York’s Comedy Cellar. The comedy set was C.K.’s first since admitting to sexual misconduct last fall.

Kirkman brought attention to the rumors surrounding C.K.’s inappropriate behavior back in 2015 when she mentioned on her “I Seem Fun” podcast that she had turned down opportunities to work with male comics in the past due to rumors of sexual misconduct. Kirkman did not name C.K., but the internet figured it out since C.K. invited Kirkman to tour with him in the past.

Kirkman explained in her August 30 Twitter thread that the backlash and lack of support she faced from just hinting at C.K.’s harassment prevented her from not only continuing to press on the issue but also from going public with the harassment she personally received from C.K.

“I didn’t have proof he did any of this masturbation stuff. Only rumors,” Kirkman said. “He verbally did some sick stuff to me. I got harassed so bad for speaking on it with no one in my community to back me up I stopped. He apologized. And lied to me about the others. This is the mess of it all.”

Kirkman’s thread was launched after a Twitter user criticized her for having a chance to expose C.K. years ago and not going forward with it.

“Don’t you dare put me on trial for my clumsy handling of my own harassment and having no idea what to do about it, how to handle that speaking out got me nothing but rape threats, and then me questioning if what happened to me was even that bad,” she responded. “That is literally the trajectory women face.”

The comedian continued by explaining the backlash she faced after her podcast episode. “Tons of press picked it up. Named him. And suddenly it’s implied he physically harassed me,” she said. “I pulled down the podcast and was accused of being paid off.”

Kirkman said the online harassment she faced was so extreme that it was impossible for her to promote her own work without being forced back into the C.K. conversation.

“If you’re a dude who already hates women you’ll use my story against me. It’s been happening to me for years,” Kirkman said. “And most men in the comedy community didn’t back me up on Twitter. Instead they told me ‘don’t feed trolls’ and other not helpful advice.”

Kirkman is best known for her Netflix comedy specials “I’m Gonna Die Alone (And I Feel Fine)” and “Just Keep Livin’?,” plus appearances on “Chelsea Lately” and Comedy Central’s “Drunk History” She recently worked as a writing consultant on the Emmy-nominated comedy “The Marvelous Ms. Maisel.” You can read the beginning Kirkman’s full thread in the tweets below. Click here to read all 35 tweets.

I didn’t have proof he did any of this masturbation stuff. Only rumors. He verbally did some sick stuff to me. I got harassed so bad for speaking on it with no one in my community to back me up I stopped. He apologized. And lied to me about the others. This is the mess of it all. https://t.co/DeQ9U9pM91 — JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) August 30, 2018

2. So don’t you dare put me on trial for my clumsy handling of my own harassment and having no idea what to do about it, how to handle that speaking out got me nothing but rape threats, and then me questioning if what happened to me was even that bad. THAT is literally — JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) August 30, 2018

3. The trajectory women face. I didn’t even realize what I fucking thought of it until I had a lifetime in comedy to process so many aspects of it not just him but the entire system of how women are treated offstage by their peers. — JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) August 30, 2018

4. I’ve never been in a shower crying over how bizarre he treated me for years. What’s upsetting is I tried to tell my story on my own podcast of how being a woman in comedy means being too afraid to go on the road with a peer who asks you. — JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) August 30, 2018

5. I feared him cuz of the rumors and cuz of what I had experienced with him. I didn’t use his name in my podcast. Tons of press picked it up. Named him. And suddenly it’s implied he physically harassed me. I pulled down the podcast and was accused of being paid off. — JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) August 30, 2018

6. Think pieces about me and him ran for years. I couldn’t do interviews for my specials or books without the male interviewers insisting I talk about this. I didn’t personally know the women he assaulted in Aspen. I only heard rumors. — JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) August 30, 2018

7. And after over a decade when it was all still rumors and he apologized to me I thought “God maybe he’s just a creep with compulsive issues – I’m not in any specific pain over our literal interactions” (just pain over current harassment I got online for discussing I’m)…. — JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) August 30, 2018

8. And I wanted the harassment to stop. The Today Show and People magazine and places like that often called my reps offering me to be featured but not for my work – just to expose him. The constant tweets, comedians from NY asking me wtf was I doing….I wanted it to stop. — JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) August 30, 2018

9. So I decided to say publicly that I can’t prove rumors. Maybe there isn’t a thing. I don’t know. He’s my friend in comedy. He apologized. What else can I do. Then a month later The NY Times piece came out. I realize he’d lied to me. I was done. It’s a nuanced story but — JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) August 30, 2018

10. If you’re dude who already hates women you’ll use my story against me. It’s been happening to me for years. And most men in the comedy community didn’t back me up on Twitter. Instead they told me “don’t feed trolls” and other not helpful advice. — JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) August 30, 2018

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