The main event of WrestleMania this spring will pit the legendary Undertaker against the pugnacious Kevin Owens, confirms the lonely man who writes WrestlingScoopz.com.

The Undertaker-Owens bout is “definately (sic) confirmed,” according to the writer, who cites “reliable backstage sources” for this blockbuster story.

The sole proprietor of WrestlingScoopz.com is believed to be Tyler McCreary, a 24-year-old former KFC night manager who claims to “know a lot of people” within World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE).

Friends and family of McCreary, however, report that he has only attended one WWE live event, and his closest contact with WWE personnel has been a retweet from WWE referee Charles Robinson in 2013.

McCreary nevertheless claims to have “the most reliable wrestling news on the internet,” which of course is bunkum, because that distinction rightfully belongs to Kayfabe News.