Previously on Survivor:

Gabby and Ciera attempted to distance themselves from Patrick following his failure to eliminate Lauren Rimmer. Gabby made friends with Randy, while Ciera made contact with Billy Garcia, which ultimately led to her receiving a vote steal advantage. Knowing she was on the outs, Lydia Morales put her social game on high speed and impressed everyone on her tribe, except for Bret LaBelle, who was still scared of her latest use of the Tony Vlachos Advantage. At the reward challenge, the castaways played for comfort and it was the Roark Luskin tribe that left with a bunch of comfort items, including a King sized bed. Back at camp, Lauren and Patrick spied an advantage under a sleeping Mad Dog and wrestled over it. Patrick walked away victorious, with the Ben Driebergen Advantage, which included 1 real idol and 5 fakes. At the immunity challenge, Sandra and Courtney chose the sit outs, and it was Roark Luskin who once again won immunity. Back at the Richard Hatch beach, Jonny Fairplay targeted Angelina, who seemingly had no idea she was playing Survivor. He formed an alliance with Lydia, as did Jill, Bret and Caryn. However, at the water well a secret alliance was made without Fairplay between Jill, Bret and Caryn and at tribal council the threesome blindsided Lydia right out of the game.

12 players remain, who will be voted out tonight??

Night Nine – Richard Hatch

“Fuck them, fuck em all.” Thought Jonny Fairplay as they returned to their beach, sans their little fishmonger. They had had a solid plan going into tribal council, he thought. He wanted to keep Lydia around, hell he’d even made a final three deal with her! But the people he was supposedly in an alliance with had voted her out.

[Confessional] Fairplay: (No advantages) “I’m mad as hell! Angelina was supposed to go home, there’s no reason for her to be here, and now I don’t know if I can trust the people I aligned myself with……fuck.”

Fairplay laid his torch with the others, in the crook of a tree against their shelter and walked off down to the beach to calm down.

Angelina grabbed Lydia’s second pair of cargo shorts that she had left behind. After all, she was freezing. Angelina didn’t know that she was supposed to be the target tonight, she thought it was supposed to be Fairplay. The last thing they needed on their beach was someone who would LIE about a dead family member she thought.

But the real action took place around the fire as Jill, Bret and Caryn celebrated their little coup d’etat at tribal.

[Confessional] Bret: (No advantages) “Angelina’s like an ingrown hair, yeah it’s there and it’s annoying but eventually it will go away. But Lidz was more like male pattern baldness. It starts off casual and before you know it, it’s full blown!”

Bret was suspicious of Lydia the second that she took out dear Chet, and vowed to not forget. It wasn’t a revenge thing for Chet, but it was insurance for himself. Sure she did a fantastic job of improving their camp, but she was dangerous. He didn’t need to convince Caryn, who instantly jumped on the idea. But the real conversation took place last night with Dr. Jill at the water hole. She wanted to take out Fairplay and keep Lydia, but Bret figured that Fairplay was a lot more predictable and that a player like Lydia, who could be rainbows and smiles one second and then a ruthless killer the next was a more dangerous person to have on his tribe.

[Confessional] Bret: (No advantages) “I gotta do some damage control with little Jonny, but he’s made some moves in the past. Let em’ realize that he ain’t playing with no ‘Lills’ or ‘Ruperts’ here. I’m the big bear for a reason.”

Day Ten – Roark Luskin

Lauren Rimmer awoke before dawn, and grabbed her partner, Mad Dog for their upcoming mission. Together, the two of them had decided that they were starving and enough was enough. The Poptarts hadn’t been long lasting, and they were determined to kill and eat a goat. How they were going to accomplish that was a mystery to them, but they figured they should try. They had the support of the tribe, but had told them all that it would just be the two of them going out to hunt. “Give em hell!” implored Keith when the girls explained their plan.

[Confessional] Lauren: (No advantages, but did sleep in a King sized bed) “To be honest I don’t know a doggone thing about huntin’ goats. Personally, I think they’re adorable but heck, we gotta eat. Alls I know is that Mad Dog plays that pipe thing and them goats come flocking over…….It’s impressive.”

Mad Dog and Lauren headed out past the rocky outcrop that stood at the end of the jungle. What Lauren said was very true. Maralyn was used to waking up and going for a nice walk, often humming to herself or smelling different types of flowers. She would find a nice distance between herself and the camp and would bring out her didgeridoo. She wasn’t sure if the soothing deep calmness of the instrument called them, but for some reason whenever she played in the morning, a few goats would come by and bleat along with her. They were her friends, but they were also food.

[Confessional] Maralyn: (No Advantages) “Heaven knows I want nothing to do with hurting a precious animal. But you get a mad dog hungry, and she’ll eat anything. *She takes a long deep pull on her vape* Thank god Matthew sharpened the machete last night, even if it was scary as all fuck.”

It was true, last night as the Roark Luskin tribe sat around their fire, wrapped in blankets or relaxing with their comfort items, Matt von Ertfalda had managed to show up. Without saying a single word to anyone, he walked around, inspected all of their tools and their shelter. He took their machete and sat by the base of the tree and proceeded to sharpen it. The tribe fell asleep to the rhythmic noise of the waves crashing on the Fijian beach, and of a machete being sharpened with a heavy stone.

Lauren Rimmer now currently held that sharpened tool as the two of them headed up the side of the cliff. It was high, about 30 feet or maybe 100 feet to Angelina. Although initially not certain of their plan, they had a rough idea of what to do.

[Confessional] Lauren: (No advantages) “We seen how Sandra held them goats in Game Changers, and also how she handled them goats in Lill and Russell. But we don’t think it’s gonna be that easy to catch them this time. Rumor has it someone beat one in the head with a rock and now they are scared of us.”

Mad Dog positioned herself on a nice flat rock in front of a grassy pasture. About 50 yards out the goats were nibbling on bushes at the tree line. She put her didgeridoo into position, took a double puff of her inhaler and started to hum across the field. Lauren lay in the thick grass, ready to lop off a goat’s head at her first opportunity.

For about twenty minutes Mad Dog played the instrument, with it’s distinct hum and slowly but surely, her little flock mad their way over. They took their time, stopping to eat certain grasses and weeds. Lauren lay, waiting to pounce on the first poor creature that she could reach. She was already dreading it, but knew that if she wanted to provide for her tribe, it had to be done.

Thankfully for Lauren, she never had the chance.

As Maralyn continued to play, a rustle in the bushes caused the goats to stop moving. Lauren stared and then screamed as a goat dropped dead. An arrow was shot directly through it’s heart.

She looked up at Maralyn, who had stopped playing and the two of them stared open mouthed as they tried to understand what just happened. They looked over at the bush where they could see a bush of wavy hair and a tiger tattoo.

Brian Heidik walked out of the bushes calmly towards the two terrified women, holding a crossbow in his hands. As he approached them he put on his classic used-car salesmen smile and asked them how they were doing.

“Uh….good. I guess.” Responded a shocked Lauren Rimmer.

They watched as Brian walked over to the goat and looked down at it. “Ahhhhh shit!” He pauses as he looks up at them both. “I thought it was a dog…….What a waste.” He said as he jerked his arrow out of the body of the goat. “You ladies want this?” he asked as he gestured towards the dead animal.

“Well why the heck not!” implored Maralyn as she feigned some form of normalcy into the day. After all, it’s not everyday that you get to play Survivor, and it’s not everyday that a winning contestant/soft-core porn actor kills a goat in front of you, mistaking it for a dog.

“Oh yeah, I have this for you also.” Said Brian as he handed a parchment envelope to Lauren and Mad Dog. “Only one of you can have this, so you’re going to have to figure out who wants it.” Lauren was holding the envelope as the two of them exchanged a nervous glance. Lauren, who already had been screwed by a split advantage in Survivor: Heroes Vs. Heroes Vs. Hustlers didn’t want any part of it. She handed the envelope to Maralyn and said she could have it.

They quickly thanked Brian as he walked back to the edge of the jungle. The crossbow was slung across his back like The Walking Dead. Lauren and Maralyn grabbed the goat by the legs and started walking back to camp.

[Confessional] Maralyn: (Brian Heidik Advantage) “This was one hell of a day. First, Brian Heidik kills a motherfucking goat right in front of us! Then he hands me this envelope.” *She opens it up* “Congratulations, you have been gifted the Brian Heidik Advantage. This advantage allows you to save up to 15% on a new Chevorlet of your choice at any used-car dealership in Georgia. You also can trade this advantage in for ONE jury vote. In the chance you are voted out, you have to will this advantage to someone still in the game.” Maralyn stares at the camera for about ten seconds and just nods. “Well how ‘bout that.”

Day Ten – Reward Challenge

“Come on in guys!” announced Jeff Probst. He watched as the Roark Luskin tribe walked onto the challenge beach, all smiles and comfort. “How are the comfort items working out for ya?”

“They.are.a.LIFESAVER!” replied Ciera. Gabby agreed in unison. Randy pulled out his iPad because he wanted to watch Love Island.

“Roark Luskin getting your first look at the new Richard Hatch tribe.”

The tribe in yellow watched as the 5 members from Richard Hatch walked in.

“Lydia Morales, voted out at last night’s tribal council.”

Everyone nodded in agreement.

“Who?” whispered Keith as he nudged Patrick.

“I don’t know, I think it was the mom from Little People, Big World.” He replied.

“Roger that.” Responded Keith as he spit onto the ground.

“Alright everyone, let’s get to today’s challenge. Today you are playing for reward. Here’s how it’s going to work. Spread out in front of each tribe are 10 X’s. One at a time each of you will run out to an X and start digging. Buried are 10 individual bags, each containing the name of a Survivor winner. Dig up the 10 bags, return to your mat where you will then use the ten name tiles to answer 10 trivia questions. First tribe to successfully solve the 10 trivia questions will win reward. Wanna know what you’re playing for?

“Yes” replied Angelina

“Today, you’re playing for a shot to win $1,000,000.”

Everyone gasped. Caryn covered her mouth. Bret looked confused.

“The winning tribe will select two people to have a shot at $1,000,000 again, this time by having the chance to run The Amazing Race.”

“What!?” yelled Fairplay

Bret’s mouth dropped. Another chance to run the Race?

“Worth playing for?”

“Hell yeah.” Responded Randy. Even he was paying attention now.

“Roark Luskin, you have two extra people so you need to sit two people out. Remember, who ever sits out will have to participate in the Immunity challenge. Who’s it gonna be?”

The tribe turned to confer, nobody wanted to sit this one out because they all wanted a chance to be on The Amazing Race. Finally, Ciera and Keith raised their hands to sit. Ciera knew that immunity was more valuable and Keith because he didn’t know what The Amazing Race was.

“Alright, runners take your spot and let’s get ready.”

Jill stood first for Richard Hatch, matched against Patrick Bolton.

“Survivors ready?!……GO!” screamed Jeff Probst.

Jill and Patrick raced out down to the face of the beach. Patrick reached his X first and started digging frantically. Jill was more calm, taking deep breaths as she reached her X. She dropped down and started to dig.

As both sides cheered, the two castaways continued to dig. Until a victorious Patrick reached a bag and raised it out of the ground. The Roark Luskin tribe erupted into cheers. He was quickly followed by Dr. Jill, as she found her first bag for Richard Hatch.

They both ran back to their mat, where Randy and Caryn stood at the ready.

They both took off once their tribe mate returned.

The challenge continued under the hot sun as the players found their bags. Randy managed to find his right away, followed up closely by Jonny Fairplay.

“Roark Luskin with 6 bags, Richard Hatch with 7!” announced Jeff as he sat under a nice umbrella sipping a drink out of a coconut. Next to him were Paschal and Sean Rector, who were still on their reward from the coconut milk challenge in the Marquesas.

“Can you believe this pappy!? Here we are, an African American guy from Harlem, still on reward with a Southern white judge from Georgia.”

“You should meet my public defender.” Winked Paschal as he and Sean toasted and then said “cheers” to another coconut full of rum.

By this point, the Richard Hatch tribe had all but 1 bag, while Roark Luskin needed two more.

But Randy tied it up as he returned with his second bag.

“WE ARE ALL TIED UP!” screamed an over the top Jeff Probst.

Everyone watched as the last two people searched for their bags. For Richard Hatch, it was Angelina, while for Roark Luskin it was Gabby. Both were frantically digging, not wanting to let their tribes down. Gabby grabbed hers first and ran back to her mat. Angelina continued to dig.

The Roark Luskin tribe started to untie all of their 10 bags. By the time they were done, Angelina had found hers and had returned to their mat.

At a table in front of each tribe were the following 10 questions about winners of Survivor. They would have to match the names in the bags to the questions.

1.] This winner enjoys being naked

2.] This winner survived every tribal council of the season

3.] This winner only played 9 days of Survivor

4.] This winner craves the strangest things, like dor-eet-oes

5.] This winner can speak like an animal

6.] This winner has the nickname of a model

7.] This winner is still on a pole

8.] This winner found their spouse on Survivor

9.] This winner wears a buff differently than everyone else

10.] This winner called Coach a girl

Together, the tribes pulled out the tiles. They had the following options.

Bob Crowley Tony Vlachos Amber Brkich Fabio Birza Tom Westman Denise Stapley Tina Wesson Jenna Morasca Sophie Clark Chris Underwood

They worked in unison to fill in the tables. Randy was especially good at this, as he put the tiles into the correct place. He laughed when he saw Bob’s name and he screamed “Penis!” Only Randy, and the people who listened to Corinne’s podcast understood the reference.

Fairplay was making good time with his tribe as well, as he placed tiles in the correct place.

“We’re done!” screamed Caryn as she placed Tony’s name on the board.

Jeff ran over with his index card to check.

“Something’s not right!” he screamed.

Randy and Gabby slapped the last tile onto the board and announced that they were done.

Jeff ran over with his index card to check.

He scanned the board and then raised his hands in victory. “Roark Luskin wins reward!!!” he screamed.

The tribe in yellow joyfully hugged and yelled in unison, excited that they had won yet again.

Caryn dropped her head in defeat, as an angry Jill threw Fabio’s name off into the jungle.

* Answer Key *

1.] This winner enjoys being naked

Jenna Morasca

2.] This winner survived every tribal council of the season

Denise Stapley

3.] This winner only played 9 days of Survivor

Chris Underwood

4.] This winner craves the strangest things, like dor-eet-oes

Tina Wesson

5.] This winner can speak like an animal

Tony Vlachos

6.] This winner has the nickname of a model

Fabio Birza

7.] This winner is still on a pole

Tom Westman

8.] This winner found their spouse on Survivor

Amber Brkich

9.] This winner wears a buff differently than everyone else

Bob Crowley

10.] This winner called Coach a girl

Sophie Clark

Back on their mats, Jeff Probst addressed the winning tribe in yellow. “Congratulations!” he exclaimed as he stood there. “Two of you will have the chance to run The Amazing Race. You can either decide as a group, or draw names from a bag. What’s it gonna be?”

The Roark Luskin tribe turned to debate, but everyone wanted in on this chance to run the race. Even Keith was interested at this point.

“Aw hell, we’re gonna have to draw names!” responded Keith to Jeff.

“Alright, here’s how it’s going to work. I have a bag with all 7 of your names in it. I will pull two at random. The two who I pull will be a team on the next season of The Amazing Race.”

Everyone watched anxiously as Jeff pulled out the first name. He looked at the tile and chuckled. This person hadn’t even been in the challenge, this was sure to stir up some drama.

[Ciera]

Ciera screamed and jumped up and down in excitement. Everyone on her tribe gave her a pat on the shoulder, or said congrats. But they all watched in silent anxiousness as Jeff pulled the second and last tile. It said:

[Gabby]

Gabby immediately started crying in joy as she embraced Ciera in a hug. They were going to run the Race together and they were beyond thrilled to be teammates.

Day 11 – Richard Hatch

The Richard Hatch tribe returned to camp. Defeated. Again. Moral was at an all time low, especially now that they didn’t have Lydia as their cheerleader.

The real conversation took place between Dr. Jill, Bret and Fairplay as they described to him why they took out their fishmonger at the last tribal council.

“I was scared outta my mind by her, to be honest and I know I that she could have easily written my name down 6 times and –I- would have been the one gone.” Explained Bret.

“I know, I know! I just feel fucking stupid man.” Replied a clearly annoyed Fairplay. He knew that he didn’t want to be on the outs, but he also knew that he was still genuinely pissed about their betrayal.

“But why are we keeping Angelina around?” he asked

“Angelina is expendable.” Explained Dr. Jill “I honestly don’t think Angelina is playing on the same caliber as us and I’m not worried about her.”

“But she goes before I do.” Said Fairplay adamantly.

“Brah, if Angelina goes before you I swear to you that there is something wrong with this universe, and I’m gonna make sure that that doesn’t happen.” Explained Bret

What they didn’t know was that Caryn was much more devious than she had been letting on. She knew that she screwed up in the last challenge, and she knew that Lydia was a player she could work with, but Lydia was taking over the tribe slowly but surely and Caryn wanted to put a stop to that as soon as possible.

[Confessional] Caryn: (A lot of buffs) “There was a plan in action last tribal to vote out Fairplay, led by Jill. But I wanted Lydia gone. So what did I do? I acted. And I’m a pretty damn good actress. I made them realize how powerful Lydia had been and I completely threw her under the bus *she smiles* and it was a lot of fun.”

Caryn didn’t want to be anywhere near elimination again and for that she would need some insurance. She searched up and down the beach until she found Angelina, who was busy collecting and counting shells to herself.

After the small talk was finished, Caryn pounced on Angelina with the real question.

“Do you want to go home next or do you want to go to the final three?

“Yes” Angelina replied

Caryn just stared at her for a second with her mouth hanging open.

“Yes to what? Final three?”

“Yes” Angelina replied curtly.

The two shook hands and smiled at each other. Angelina was happy that she was not the target, and Caryn was happy because she now had an alliance with every member of her tribe. That was great for her game, but also bad if Richard Hatch were to lose another immunity challenge.

Day 11 – Roark Luskin

A hell storm of confusion took place on the Roark Luskin beach after the immunity challenge. As everyone returned to the camp and congratulated Gabby and Ciera, they all slowly realized that there was a hidden immunity idol in their bag, everyone except for Keith received a fake one courtesy of Patrick Bolton. Patrick decided to only distribute 5 to the players and keep the real one for himself, to create distrust.

[Confessional] Patrick: (Ben Driebergen Advantage) “Everyone was busy eating Brian Heidik’s goat and then celebrating after the reward challenge, but nobody noticed that this morning I put a fake idol into everyone’s bag. I gave myself a real idol using the wood burning kit. This is HUGE, I’m gonna use this to take out my biggest rival, Lauren freaking Rimmer.

The camera jumped from player to player as they found their fake immunity idols. Not knowing that they were fake, they began to celebrate and freak out. Everyone except for Lauren.

[Confessional] Lauren: (No advantages) “I known something was up the second I saw everyone sneak off with their bags, I mean Mad Dog couldn’t contain her smile! Somethin’s not kosher here. I seen Ben get a lot of idols during the last time I played….I dunno, somethin’s fishy.”

Yes Lauren was suspicious; after all she was no dummy. But if she was wrong, she had received a hidden immunity idol for free, and so did everybody else. She figured she would only ask one person, her most trusted ally, Keith Nale.

When they were alone in their giant King sized bed, she asked Keith if he had found an idol in his bag, to which he replied “hell no!” Lauren quickly backtracked and said that neither had she, but she had some suspicions that some people had.

As Keith and Lauren conversed, Gabby and Ciera celebrated their recent reward, even if it did piss off the majority of the tribe.

[Confessional] Ciera: (Billy Garcia Advantage) “I cannot believe that I won a chance to be on The Amazing Race! Not only have I had the chance to play Survivor now four times, but now I get to run the race with someone I genuinely like. It’s a dream come true.

[Confessional] Gabby: (No advantages) “I love The Amazing Race! I just hope it’s not cancelled by the time we get a chance to run it……”

Day 12 – Immunity Challenge

“Come on in guys!” announced Jeff Probst as he stood there in his trademark blue button down shirt and khaki shorts. But today was different, he was wearing a red and white sombrero.

“What the…?” asked Ciera as she walked in with the rest of the Roark Luskin tribe.

Ignoring everyone’s confused looks, Jeff launched into his explanation of the challenge.

“Welcome to today’s immunity challenge…. Jeff said as he retrieved the sad Rupert bust from Keith. This one is going to work a little different. Scattered throughout the jungle are 4 stations full of ingredients for making a taco. One at a time a tribe member will sprint out to a station and read the directions on how much of that ingredient is needed. When all 4 players have returned, you will then have your remaining tribe member act as a chef. That player will be responsible for following the recipe to create a Survivor taco. First tribe to follow the directions perfectly and create 3 taco’s that are approved by our judge, Jon Kirhoffer, will win immunity.

Everyone looked around confused and finally the silence was broken by Randy Bailey “What in the fuck is this shit?” he asked.

An angry Jeff shot back “This is Survivor: What the Fuck….what the fuck did you expect?!”

“Everyone, before we pick a chef we need to find out who is sitting out for this immunity challenge. Roark Luskin, you sat out Keith and Ciera at the last challenge, which means that they will be running in this one. As always, we have a special guest to come and select who will be sitting out.”

“Come on out” he announced as he gestured to the path in the jungle.

Coming out holding hands were two of the least expected people. One of them had never actually played the game of Survivor before, but she was well known among true Survivor fans.

“That’s right everyone, for this challenge our sit outs will be determined by Trish Dunn and the lesbian shop keeper from Survivor: Pearl Islands.”

“Hi guys!” exclaimed Trish as she stepped out into the Fijian sun.

“You are mi Corazon, my everything.” Said the shopkeeper as she pulled Trish in for a kiss. Trish politely turned her head to the side so the kiss hit her on the cheek. After all these years she had no idea that this woman was interested….sexually.

“Trish, shopkeeper, you are responsible for choosing two people from the yellow tribe to sit out. It cannot be Ciera or Keith. Gender does not matter. Your decision.” Explained Jeff.

Trish and the shopkeeper turned to each other to conference, and once again the shopkeeper tried to confess her love for Trish, who simply laughed and smiled and threw her arms around her should “Ahhhh gracias!!” she said in a typical American language. After all this time, she still had not learned Spanish.

“Honey, you pick.” Said the shopkeeper as she gestured to the Roark Luskin tribe.

“Ahhh, I’m going to pick you!” as she pointed at Maralyn “And I pick….uhh…ahhh…you!” as she pointed at Gabby.

“Hey Trish!” waved Fairplay sarcastically.

She winked at him as Jeff excused them from the challenge area.

“Alright, take your spots. Let’s get to it.” announced Jeff as Maralyn and Gabby took their seats on the sit out bench.

“Up for Roark Luskin we have Randy and up for Richard Hatch we have Bret. Grab your correct unit of item, bring it back and tag out. Once you have all four you can make your tacos. Richard Hatch has chosen Caryn to be their chef, while Roark Luskin has chosen Lauren.”

“Survivors ready!? GO!”

Randy and Bret took off into the jungle. Bret headed for the shredded lettuce, while Randy went directly for the ground beef.

“Okay, 1 cup a shredded lettuce.” said an out of breath Bret LaBelle as he used his measuring cup to fill grab the ingredient.

“One two cups of ground beef…fuck me.” said Randy as he shoveled the ground beef into his pyrex.

Bret ran back to Caryn, who was covered in head to toe with buffs and wore a 1 foot tall white chef’s hat. He put the shredded lettuce down next to the awaiting taco shells as Angelina took off for the diced black olives.

Randy had returned and placed his ground beef next to Lauren Rimmer, who was also clad in a chef’s hat. “Let’s go!!” she cheered while holding a giant spatula.

Keith took off for Roark Luskin, he was on the hunt for the shredded mexican cheese.

Angelina had returned with her diced black olives at the same time that Keith returned with the cheese.

Patrick took off for Roark Luskin, followed closely behind by Dr. Jill.

As everyone was standing on their platforms they could only hope that their tribemate was able to pull ahead, it was coming down to the wire.

That’s when they heard the distinct voice of Aras Baskauskas scream “Someone call the whambulance, Terry’s crying on the course!”

Out of reflex, Jeff jumped up while wearing his giant sombrero and yelled “They are fighting it out like two battering rams!”

While this distraction was taking place, Dr. Jill came back with her tribe’s third ingredient, leaving Jonny Fairplay to get the final one.

A blonde headed Patrick Bolton came sprinting back victoriously as he held up a measuring cup full of shredded cheese, not knowing that Keith had already brought that back.

“NO! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” screamed Randy.

“Go back!” yelled Gabby from the sidelines. Maralyn was napping.

Patrick sprinted back out, but by this time Jonny Fairplay had returned and Caryn had all of the ingredients she needed to start making her hard-shelled tacos. A little known talent that Caryn had was that she was able to make one hell of a mean taco, burritos maybe not, but tacos? Fuck yeah.

Patrick returned for Roark Luskin as Ciera took off to grab their last ingredient, but it was too late. Caryn was filling her taco shells with ground beef and was covering them with shredded lettuce, cheese and diced olives. “This needs some sour cream!” she cheerfully exclaimed as her tribe stood on the sidelines cheering.

Ciera returned with Roark Luskin’s final ingredient, but it was over. Jon Kirhoffer had judged Caryn’s tacos and loved them immediately.

“Richard Hatch wins immunity!” yelled Jeff Probst as he ran towards the tribe in orange. A dejected Patrick Bolton dropped his head as Lauren grumbled something negative towards him.

“Alright, Richard Hatch! It’s been awhile, but sad Rupert is coming back to camp with you! *He handed the bust of Rupert to Caryn who was still wearing the chef’s hat* Enjoy the night off, head on back to camp.”

They took their tacos, flag and left the challenge area. Jeff turned to address the loosing Roark Luskin tribe.

“You know the drill, tonight you have a date with me at tribal council where the fifth person will be eliminated from Survivor: What the Fuck. Take the afternoon to figure that out, I’ll see you tonight.”

[Confessional] Randy: (Wanda Shirk Advantage) “That god damn idiot Patrick really pissed me off with his stupidity. All he had to to was get the correct freaking ingredient but the fucker couldn’t even get that right. He’s gotta go.”

Day Twelve – Roark Luskin

Back at camp it seemed pretty evident that Patrick Bolton was going to be sent to loser’s lodge. After all, he was on the outs ever since the first tribal council and now he had went and ruined Lauren’s chance at making some sweet Mexican food, costing his tribe immunity.

[Confessional] Patrick: (Ben Driebergen Advantage) “Yeah, I’m not feeling too hot right now. There’s nobody to really blame for this loss except for me. Am I worried that I’ll get votes? Yeah sure. But I’ve got my advantage in play. Everyone except Keith thinks they have an idol when I’m the only one that actually has one. I’m not going anywhere.

Patrick feigned anger at himself and despair, and the rest of the tribe bought it. He knew that he wasn’t going to go home tonight, but where would that leave him after tonight? He knew that he had to get his alliance of Ciera and Gabby back together.

As they stood around the water well, Patrick dropped a subtle bomb on them that would shake the game. “Y’all got immunity idols in your bags right?” he smiled. Ciera and Gabby just stared at each other, after all they hadn’t told anyone. “Ah come on.” said Patrick “I’m the one who put them there!”

“You did what?!” exclaimed Ciera

“How?!” questioned Gabby.

“I found an advantage, which allowed me to give away two idols and keep one for myself. They are all real and none of us are going home. Will you work with me tonight?”

[Confessional] Ciera: (Billy Garcia Advantage) “So Patrick tells myself and Gabby that he’s given us each a hidden immunity idol and that he has one himself. He wants to take out Lauren, which was obvious. I really don’t want to work with Patrick in the long-term, but I think tonight my hand is forced.

As the three solidified their plans for the night, the other four tribe members were around the fire discussing the vote.

*Exhaling her vape pen* “It’s gotta be blondie.” said Maralyn

“Yah hum.” replied Keith, he was fully on board with the plan, as was Lauren and Randy.

[Confessional] Lauren: (No advantages) “I got this idol in my bag yesterday and I dunno what to do about it. The plan is to vote off Pat, but if for a second I get a whiff of something else, I’ll pull this out and shock em all.”

Lauren however was not so sure that she had a real idol. “So now y’all I got a question. I found a idol in my bag and I know for sure that I didn’t find one. Somethin’s fishy.”

[Confessional] Keith: (No advantages) “Well hell, looks like I was played. Everyone in my alliance said they found an idol in their bag. Everyone except me! I dunno what I did or didn’t do, but I hope my neck ain’t on the choppin block.

With that all out in the open, the foursome discussed what to do next, something was happening and it was big. But they weren’t quite sure what to do. Did everyone except Keith have an idol? Did Patrick have one? Were they real? Only time would tell….

Tribal Council – Night Twelve

The seven members of the Roark Luskin tribe walked into tribal council for the second time. They stopped to bang the gong and then pay respects to Debb Eaton’s torch, as was tradition. Then they all took a seat.

“Welcome back to tribal council, it’s been awhile.”

“Roger that.” replied Keith.

“Mad Dog, tell me what life is like at camp Roark Luskin…..does everyone get along?”

She looked right at him with her trademark smirk. “Honestly Jeffrey, no we don’t. Sure we had a nice winning streak but that one *she points to Patrick* he was wrestling under my hammock for something the other day and today he goes and gets the shredded cheese!”

“So Patrick….Maralyn says that you were fumbling under her hammock for something. Did anyone see you?”

“Ahh yeah, Jeff I did!” piped in Lauren. “I seen Pat reach for something and me and him had a good tussle over it, but whatever it is, he’s got it.”

“Patrick, care to show us what you found?” asked the host.

“Not one bit,” replied Patrick with a giant smile.

“Well it seems like there is a division on this tribe, and that was especially evident after your first vote when it was split down the middle until Lauren played her advantage. Have you all been able to heal from that?” Jeff questioned the group.

Ciera jumped in right away. “Jeff, you know how much I love and appreciate big moves. I loved that Lauren did it. I was not in love with who she voted out, but I loved that she had the guts to make such a big move that early in the game. It put me on the negative side of the numbers and I’ve had to work hard to recover.”

“And have you recovered?” asked Jeff

“We will see.” she winked back.

“And with that, it is time to vote, Patrick you’re up first.”

With a big exaggerated sigh, Patrick got up and walked down the row of former player’s torches and walked up to the voting confessional. He once again wrote down Lauren’s name.

“Lauren, You’ve been coming after me since day 1. You gotta get out of here.”

Patrick was followed by Gabby and Marayln, and then Keith and Ciera.

Randy walked up the podium and scribbled down a name.

“You’ve got a lot of growing up to do.” he said as he folded the parchment in half and stuffed it in the urn.

Up last was Lauren Rimmer who happily wrote down “Pat”

“Pat, you’re a good kid, but that’s all you are ever gonna be in this life…a kid. Good luck.”

With 7 votes cast, Jeff Probst announced that he would go tally the votes.

He returned with the urn and turned to face the players.

“If anyone has a hidden immunity idol and would like to play it, now would be the time to do so.” he announced.

Everyone stared around at each other, not wanting to come off as guilty in anything.

Finally a hand reached into their own pocket and pulled out an idol. It was Patrick.

“Yeah Jeff, I got another one of these.” he announced as he walked up to the host and handed him an idol.

“This.is.a.hidden.immunity.idol.” said Jeff “Any votes cast for Patrick will not count.

“I’ll read the votes.”

“Hold on Jeff.” said a voice, it was Lauren Rimmer. She knew that something fishy was going on and figured that she should play it safe.

She walked up to Jeff and handed him an identical looking idol.

“This.is.NOT.a.hidden.immunity.idol.” said Jeff. “Any votes cast for Lauren will count.”

Lauren’s head dropped as she shook her head back and forth. How could she have been fooled by this kid?

“Don’t worry, I got you covered.” said Maralyn as she pulled another immunity idol out of her djiderdoo. She too walked up to Jeff and handed him an identical idol.”This one’s for Rimmer.”

As she did, Patrick was covering his face laughing.

“This.is.NOT.a.hidden.immunity.idol.” said Jeff. “Any votes cast for Lauren will count.”

Maralyn’s eyebrows raised as her alliance grumbled.

“Hey Jeff!” hollered Randy. “Is this real?” he said as he held up an identical idol. He wanted to save his friend Lauren.

“That.is.NOT.a.hidden.immunity.idol.” replied a robotic Jeff Probst.

“Fuck it.” said Randy as he tossed it in the fire.

“Anyone else?” asked a shocked Jeff Probst. He hadn’t expected to see Ben’s advantage play out all at one tribal council.

Of course, it hadn’t as Ciera and Gabby still had theirs. They now highly suspected that they were fakes, but held on to them anyway. Gabby because she didn’t want to make a fool out of herself, and Ciera because she knew that she could use it down the road to fool someone on the Richard Hatch Tribe.

“Alright, once the votes are cast the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately. I’ll read the votes.”

Jeff reached down and pulled out the first vote.

“Patrick, does not count.”

“Patrick, does not count.”

“That’s two votes Lauren, 3 votes left.” said Jeff

Lauren held her face in her hands.

Jeff reached into the urn, took out the parchment and stared at it for a few seconds…

“That’s two votes Lauren, one vote Gabby, two votes left.”

“That’s two votes Lauren, two votes Gabby. One vote Left.”

He reached into the voting urn and pulled out the last piece of parchment.

“The Fifth person eliminated from Survivor: What the Fuck is…….”

A clearly shocked Gabby held her hands over her mouth as Patrick almost fell out of her chair. How could this have happened?!

“Gabby, I’ll need you to bring me your torch.” said Jeff as he stood there with the snuffer.

Tearfully, Gabby brought her torch up to Jeff Probst, slid it into the slot and watched as he put out her fire. “Gabby, the tribe has spoken.”

She turned to Patrick and gave him a wave, which he sadly returned. She turned her back to the jungle and walked into the darkness.

Both Lauren and Patrick were beyond confused at what just happened, but it turned out that Maralyn and Randy sensed that Lauren was in trouble and that the idols were fake, after all how could everyone have one! All they had to do was mention it to Ciera and she quickly jumped on board to eliminate her partner for the next Amazing Race.

“Well Ciera spoke a lot about big moves, and both times you have been here that’s what we have seen on a consistent basis. Big moves. Grab your torches and head on back to camp. Goodnight.”

Final Words: Gabby (3 votes Gabby, 2 votes Lauren, 2 nullified Patrick votes.)

“I knew once Stephen Fishbach was gone that I was going to be in trouble. I thought that I had made some in roads with Ciera at my side, but it looks like that wasn’t enough to save me. I’m upset that I’m out, but I’m really looking forward to running The Amazing Race….without Patrick.

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