Every town has its inside jokes, its “street facts” that only its more seasoned residents know. Shreveport-Bossier City is no different. If you’ve been in Shreveport long enough, most of these will make sense:

1. This is Southern Maid Donuts’ turf.

If there’s one way to decipher between a true Shreveporter and a “foreigner”, it’s definitely through different methods of consuming sugar.

In the donut realm, Southern Maid rules Shreveport. What makes them stand out? Maybe it’s the glaze. Maybe it’s the special flour they use. Maybe it’s the tons of ad money they spent putting the odd graphic of that cart-pushing dog on all their boxes. Whatever the case, real Shreveporters choose Southern Maid. Anyone who chooses the Krispy Kreme route more than likely doesn’t have a “318”at the beginning of their cell phone number.

2. Speaking of phone numbers, how random is it that everyone knows Diesel Driving Academy’s?

If I’m ever given the task of ranking the world’s greatest marketing geniuses, whoever composed the Diesel Driving Academy jingle is going right up there with Mary Kay Ash and Seth Godin.

In terms of how much of Shreveport has it permanently etched into their memory, it is rivaled only by the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song and John 3:16. It has left the imprint on us all that when you can drive a truck, you’ve got a job, my friend.

Their ad jingle proves that the world of music is really just a flat circle – the song is bad, but for some reason it’s also soooooo good! Once heard, it will not leave the mind. In case you need a refresher, listen here:

3. A political candidate promising to bring back the Hamel’s Log Ride will win.

By. A. Landslide (er, logslide?). And this is an election year, folks. It could happen.

Those of us who were around for the glory days of Hamel’s miss it dearly. Those of you who weren’t have probably heard so many stories from the rest of us that you wish it would re-open just so we’d shut up.

Alas, this is most certainly never going to happen, so hold on to those memories, people. And if you’re looking for a Hamel’s memory refresher, we tracked down where the old roller coaster ended up complete with a virtual tour:

4. That “Ellerbe Road School” probably isn’t haunted, but let’s not take any chances.

“Satan School” is what we called it. It got the name from the rumored devil-worshipping rituals that would supposedly take place in the dilapidated gymnasium of the school. But you already know this because you’re from Shreveport.

Here’s what you didn’t know about Satan School: it’s actual name was George Washington Carver High School. It closed down some time in the 1970s because of the population decrease in the area since the school had opened a couple decades prior, not because someone mysteriously disappeared after evidence of Satanic rituals were found around campus.

Regardless, I still have a scar on my leg from frantically scaling that fence out front after getting the Southern Baptist scared out of me one night in my high school years. I would not recommend going there.

5. Shreveport is about as Cajun as Olive Garden is Italian.

We’re aware this may step on some toes, but if everyone could be truly honest about Shreveport’s “Louisiana-ness” for just a moment, we will all admit we’re a little lacking in that department. Tourists who come to Shreveport to experience Louisiana might be a little disappointed. Take a deep breath and accept this fact.

Granted, we’ve got great things to offer. Only, authentic Cajun cuisine and jazz music are a little further down on the supply list. Tell your friends to come to Shreveport for the gaming, outdoor activities, and people watching. Think of the hints of Cajun we have up here as a nice surprise for them.

All these all of the random facts only Shreveport people know? Heck no! The author of this is just working with limited time and brain power. What’s some of your favorite Shreveport-only knowledge? Drop it on us in the comments below.

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