This story was published in November 2016 and updated in November 2017.

If the current state of politics has shown us anything, it’s that it sometimes seems as if opposing views can never be reconciled.

And with American Thanksgiving upon us — as far-flung family members from all walks of life gather for a meal — the political and personal disagreements that crop up are as traditional as the turkey and cranberry sauce.

So this may be a good time to explore what psychologists and philosophers say are the most effective ways to argue. And by “argue” they do not mean “quarrel,” but communicate without rancor or faulty reasoning with someone who has an opposing viewpoint, with the hope of broadening one’s understanding of people and ideas.

Here are a few suggestions:

Listen carefully

The aim of an argument should not be proving who is right, but conveying that you care about the issues, said Amy J. C. Cuddy, a social psychologist and associate professor at Harvard University.