Last year, my depth chart was topped by Jay Cutler and Colin Kaepernick. Cutler is now a reality television star, which remains deeply weird and strangely overlooked. As for Kaepernick, I just don't know where he fits in an exercise like this anymore. Don't blame me. Enter Bradford, the oldest 31-year-old man in the world. He is the ideal fit for our brand. Bradford's long-suffering knees -- think Patrick Ewing on the Sonics -- are the patron saints of the Graybeards. Sam's essentially been in mothballs for two years, but here's your reminder that he led the NFL in completion percentage over 15 starts for the Vikings in 2016, throwing 20 touchdowns against just five interceptions. That's our starter. And yes, we gave him $15 million guaranteed just because we didn't want to break tradition.