[tw: verbal abuse, emotional abuse, oblivious to abuse]

My husband loves women. ALL women, ALL shapes, ALL sizes, ALL colours. He finds something attractive in everyone (e.g: she’s a great leader, he’s completely genuine, she has deep eyes), and feels strongly that the military ‘Fat Program' for people whose BMI/neck/waist/whatever measurements is incredible. My husband is 6’+ and slender with long legs, while I am 5'8" and fat enough to be very uncomfortable for any period of time in straight seating.

This is relevant, because yesterday I heard my husband say something so bigoted and discriminatory that I was shocked and could not wrap my mind around not only what he said, but that he said it.

We had just picked his parents up from a very long flight and were discussing how awful airlines had become, with his parents stating that Frontier will now be charging for carry-on and water and blah blah blah. My husband then says, “I think that all those add-on fees are bullshit, and that airlines should absolutely go with charging straight up for actual passenger plus their luggage weight, because essentially people and their crap are just cargo that takes up space and weight and should pay accordingly, since it’s fair.” His parents (dad is same frame as husband, but mom is not much taller than 5’ and whatever term we’re using for the end of the fat spectrum that also has quite a bit of thin privilege as well as 'white & matronly’ privilege) both agreed, and the subject turned to the men bitching about not having leg or arm or head room while I just stared out the window.

I came here, because I remembered this article about pay-as-you-weigh, and hoped that you or your followers had some rebuttal (alas!). Today, catching him alone, I told him how hurt I was at what he had said, and that he believed it. He maintained his position. I asked if he would feel different if we were to fly together, and we had to pay so much more for my ticket- while fitting into the same size seat as his less expensive one. What if they said that I had to straddle two seats for 7+hrs (the average flight from Alaska to the northern lower 48)? How about using the restroom on the plane- most of which I can only just squeeze into as it is? Why shouldn’t he pay extra for being tall? He had no answer for my other questions, but this one he jumped on, “I fit in a regular seat!”

“WTF, no you don’t- you always get the aisle seat so that you can stick your legs out- into the communal space, that’s not 'fair’.”

“Ya, but I don’t have to, I can squeeze into the window or middle!” (No, he can’t. If he’s with me/family, he’ll stick his legs into their space and solo he gets up and just stands in the restroom/prep areas for as long as he can get away with.)

“Ya, well I can’t just squeeze in, now can I?”

We were interrupted at that point, and I don’t think I got through to him.

Thin (and tall, white, male) privilege is being oblivious to your own fat discrimination while citing economic “equality” and “fair practice”.