Let The Journey Begin…

A little over a year ago I released a list of books that I found to be pivotal in my personal growth. As I shared the link with others, I noticed many people don’t have a solid of list books to jump into when starting their own journey.

I’ve had so many conversations with people saying “I’ve never really gotten into those kinds of books” or “I feel like they’re full of a lot of fluff. The second response is one I typically hear when talking with other men.

Personal growth is hard, I know. But the biggest obstacle to overcome, in my opinion, is the mindset. How does that saying go? “You can bring a horse to water but you can’t make it drink?”

Truer words have never been spoken in regards to personal growth.

If someone hasn’t committed to themselves that they will grow and improve, what good is a list of books if you never read them? That’s why I like books that present the problem along with the solution. Books that are both practical and direct.

I don’t mind a little fluff, but I need the book to be hardy as well. With that being said, you can expect this list to serve plenty of meat and potatoes and just a few veggies…

If you haven’t read last year’s list, be sure to check it out here: “19 Books Every Man Should Read In 2019 To Jumpstart His Growth“ You’ll notice a number of repeats from last year. Those are the books that have withstood the test of time and remain relevant, regardless of the year. They are also books that continue to be the most impactful through my personal growth journey.

The following books all have valuable tips, practices, and strategies to help you live your best life. They are in no particular order:

20 Books Every Man Should Read in 2020 To Jumpstart His Growth

I’ll be blunt… This book is dark. It’s dark but it’s real.

David Goggins is a certified bad-ass. The former Navy Seal turned Ultra-Marathon Runner and World Record holder had every reason to quit.

Instead, Goggins relentlessly cut out all excuses and decided to get the job done. He would dig deep inside his mind and find the strength to transform himself from an overweight, depressed and broke man, to one of the toughest bastards on the planet. It’s amazing what this man has been able to overcome.

Where it would be easy for someone to get down on themselves and curse their luck, Goggins has fully embraced, and maybe even learned to enjoy, the dark times. This book will challenge you to embrace the suck in your life too. If mental toughness, resilience, and sheer will-power are a few things you hope to improve, this book will set the tone.

I certainly don’t advise you to follow in Goggin’s footsteps and go to the extremes that he does in this book. What I do advise though, is to follow Goggins’ example of knowing when it’s time to be tough.

Channel the darkness within you and use it to create your light. Your true self will thank you for it.

When was the last time you analyzed the type of relationships you have with those around you? Do you know the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship?

You’ve heard it said before that “you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.” Well, this book takes it a step further. You’re also the result of the QUALITY of the relationship you have with those people.

We’ve all experienced friends or acquaintances that just suck the energy out of a room. On the flip side, maybe you just sat down with a good friend for the last hour and you left the conversation motivated and inspired to take on the world.

Like it or not, the quality of the relationships we have with others will either limit or multiply our efforts. It’s important you stay aware of these relationships if you truly want to grow and improve.

The author, Dr. Henry Cloud, breaks down the different relationships we typically have. They’re divided into four corners with 1-3 having a neutral or negative influence. Dr. Cloud explains how the only true beneficial relationship is found in the fourth corner, where transparency, connection, and trust is greatest.

This book will teach you how to analyze your relationships, increase the quality of your interactions with others and cultivate true connections. This is a must if you truly want to take your life to the next level and grow further.

Everything is negotiable…

That’s what this book has taught me. Among other things of course.

More specifically, this book has taught me that negotiating happens more often than we realize. Sure, asking for a promotion or discussing the price on a house are clear examples of negotiating. But what you don’t know is that we negotiate every day with little to no strategy. As a result, we leave with what is given, not what is wanted. This is a passive and less than ideal way to live, wouldn’t you think?

Never Split The Difference gives you strategic and effective tips on how you can negotiate and get what you actually want out of certain situations. This isn’t a book about manipulation. It’s a book about communicating and understanding.

The author Chris Voss, former FBI international kidnapping negotiator, breaks down the principles of listening with intent, building trust by mirroring, labeling emotions and more.

This will change the way you approach conflict, and ultimately the way you approach life. Add it to your bookshelf today.

I credit this book for starting it all. I’ve always had an ambitious personality but this book really opened my eyes to what I was capable of.

People can’t change if they’re mind isn’t in it. This book will get your mind right.

In it, Dr. Robert A. Glover describes what’s called the “Nice Guy Syndrome.” It’s a belief that being nice to others and giving them what they want and expect will result in a problem-free and easy life. Unfortunately, we all know that’s not always the case.

This is a book about putting your needs ahead of others and taking care of yourself. I want to be clear here. It’s not a book about being selfish. That would serve you no good. It will, however, teach you to be more assertive, decisive and clear about what it is you want.

An added bonus is the recommendation of men forming groups with each other to increase bonding and reclaim masculinity. This goes a bit deeper into how men can be comfortable with their thoughts and actions.

This is in fact a major influence on the reason I created “The Modern Man” and the impact we hope to have on the community. (If you want to join our Private Facebook Group for men, just follow the link: The Modern Man Facebook)

If you’re looking to take your growth seriously but fear offending those around you, this book will help you break past that barrier.

This list would not be taken seriously if one of the best selling personal development and self-improvement books of all time was not included. With over 100 million copies sold since it was published in 1937, the reputation of Napoleon Hills classic speaks for itself. You need this in your library.

In the book, Hill shares 13 principles that will propel you to success and riches. This is a clear guide on how you can tap into your potential and fully start to execute your goals.

Napoleon Hill takes over 20 years of studying some of the most successful people of his time and condenses the knowledge into 238 pages.

Take in as much as you can between these pages and be prepared to read it more than once. Your future self will thank you for it.

“THE BOYS NAME WAS SANTIAGO…”

The Alchemist is hands-down my favorite book. It’s also the only Fictional book on the list.

In it, a young shepherd embarks on a journey to find a buried treasure hidden in the sands of Egypt. Of course, his journey is anything but smooth and he ends up discovering so much more along the way. This is a story about finding your purpose and risking it all to accomplish your dreams.

Paulo Coelho drops so many impactful quotes throughout the book that will have you re-evaluating your perspective on life. My advice would be to get yourself a fresh highlighter for this one.

If you’re still on the fence about whether you’re ready to get started or not, this book is usually a good indicator of where you stand. If it resonates with you, you just might be ready to start your own journey.

What if success could be second nature to us?

Habits are at the foundation of everything we do. In this extremely valuable read by Charles Duhigg, you will learn how habits form who we are. This book will help you understand how habits come about. Even better, you’ll come away with actionable advice on how to change said habits.

If that wasn’t enough, the author shows you how habits impact business and your purchasing behavior. This knowledge can help you reflect on your spending habits, social habits, and personal habits.

Definitely be sure to give this one a good run through. I promise you’ll want to read it more than once.

“The difference of who you are and who you want to be is what you do.” CHARLES DUHIGG

The buck stops here.

This is a book about owning up to everything in your life and taking complete responsibility for it. If you are able to do this, it can be an extremely empowering belief that puts the fate of your future within your own hands.

Written by Navy Seal Veterans Jacko Willink and Leif Babin, this book lays out the ten principles needed to be a good leader. Take it from the men who had to lead when the consequence of being wrong was death. Though our situation may not be as severe, the tactics and strategies hold true in life.

Whether you lead a business or a family, this book can be applied. Even if you’re currently not in a leadership position, you can gain insight into taking control of your life and positioning yourself for a leadership role in the future.

Mainly you will walk away from this book understanding that the meaning of being a leader is by taking ownership and responsibility of your life while balancing conflicting traits.

Find that balance and lead!

There’s no way around it. When we’re talking about growth, we need to address finances. Love it or hate it, money is important. Without money, you aren’t free to do the things that bring you joy in life absent restriction. PERIOD.

This book is all about understanding money and making your money work for you. I promise if you apply what you learn in this book, you will notice a change in your finances, your confidence, and your relationships.

Though the concept is easy, it all starts with paying yourself first. Take $1 of every $10 you make and save it. When your savings increase, your chance to take advantage of investment opportunities increase as well. When those investments pay off, your money multiplies and you do it again… (Rinse, Wash, Repeat)

Investing your money allows it to work for you and grow on its own. When you’ve invested enough money, you’ll be able to do things you only dreamed of. But in order to get to that point, you must first live below your means. (That’s the hard part)

If you read just one book from this list, make it this one and apply what you learn. You can thank me later.

This is a short but powerful read. I’ve mentioned mindset over and over in this post. That’s because it truly does start in the mind.

Your thoughts are the foundation of what you do and what you do becomes who you are. That being said, manage your thoughts to manage who you become.

This essay from James Allen unpacks the way thoughts are the foundation of who you are. It’s a cautionary book that warns you to take good care of what you think because your thoughts become things.

After grasping this concept, it puts the power in the hands of the reader. Allen does this by comparing the mind to a garden that can be managed by its owner. What type of garden will you have? One that is beautiful and flourishes, or one that is ravaged with weeds? The choice is yours.

When you manage your thoughts, you manage your actions. When you manage your actions, you manage who you become. Grab this book and take control of your mind today.

“He who has a WHY to live can bear almost any HOW.” FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE

This book is sure to take you into some dark places. But trust me, it’s necessary. Viktor E. Frankl survived five different concentration camps in addition to losing his mother, brother, and wife. Through pain and suffering, Viktor continues to focus on what makes life worth living.

This book will challenge you to look within yourself and find out what drives you. It will have you applying a different perspective to the world. Instead of looking at life happening to you. You’ll see life as happening “for” you. You’ll no longer view yourself as a victim.



You’ll also be challenged to step back and look at the big picture. We as humans like to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. When we believe our impact is multiplied by the mission we’re working towards, the drive gets that much stronger.

There is definitely a lot to learn between the covers of this book.

It’s time to embrace the masculinity within you. In order to reach your full potential, you will need to fully accept the “Beast Within” and courageously go for what it is you want in life.

In order to do this, you must first set your target and aim for it. Decide what it is you want and go for it!

With that in mind, you’ll also learn that the time for action is NOW!

There will always be a reason to wait. Whether it’s money, time, kids or resources, something will always stand in your way. As a man, you must take action now and push past those obstacles.

This book will also explore the dynamics of masculine and feminine in relationships. It challenges you to be more of a decision-maker in your own life and take more control of situations. This doesn’t mean being a tyrant, though. It’s about being assertive and direct and willing to live with the consequences of said decisions.

If you want to learn a sense of urgency and control, this is the book on how you can do just that.

If you’re looking to take your growth seriously, this is your guide.

John C. Maxwell has a reputation that speaks for itself. His influence, success, and impact in the business and self-help world is well documented and acknowledged.

This is the breakdown of principles, laws, and actions that took him to the heights he’s been able to achieve. This book is packed with over five decades of experience and insight on growth and how to keep it going.

Practicing the principles that Maxwell so clearly lays out in these pages will ensure that you always grow and improve. Your potential will be ever-elusive as you commit to learning and stretching each day.

Bottom line… This book will teach you how to improve daily!

“There is a limit to how much you can cut but there is no limit to how much you can earn.” Remit Sethi

How much attention do you give to your finances? The author of this book, Ramit Sethi, would encourage you to pay as little attention to them as possible.

Not what you expected, I know, but he’s right!

The less overwhelming your finances are, the more likely you are to pay attention and manage them. The problem is, we get overwhelmed with the budget sheets and financial statements and give-up before we even get started.

Ramit Sethi is hoping to solve this problem for you. In his book “I Will Teach You To Be Rich” Ramit lays out a simple, impactful, no B-S 6-week program to automate your finances and start living the life you’ve always dreamed of.

His approach isn’t about cutting the fat and living on ramen. (Though it can be effective) His focus is on spending your money on the things you love, cutting out the crap you could care less about and automating the process so you can live worry-free and enjoy.

If this sounds like the life you’d like to lead, go ahead and read this one ASAP!

Do you want to live a fulfilled life rich with purpose and meaning? If so, this book by Jordan B. Peterson will give you the guidance to do so.

Peterson breaks life down into 12 simple principles. Each chapter details the principle and shares research, stories, and experience to drive the point home. It’s about being confident, disciplined, critical and resilient.

Peterson concludes that life is suffering and that suffering without meaning will make one bitter. (Remember “Man’s Search For Meaning?”) That being said, it is imperative that you find a reason for your suffering and a purpose for your life. After all, that’s what makes life worth living.

Peterson also stresses taking care of yourself as though you were your own parent. Sounds self-explanatory but he brings up a good point in this chapter. We often ignore aches and pains or forget to take our medicine on time because life gets so busy. Yet, when it’s someone we care for, we are quick to suggest they take better care of themselves. I guess it’s time we take our own advice.

Sometimes that’s always the hardest part.

This is the ticket you need to push past that plateau and elevate your game.

Charles Duhigg has already made an appearance on this list with his focus on habits but this one is a little different.

In “Smarter, Faster, Better” Charles dives in on how we can improve the effectiveness of the things we are already doing. This extensively detailed and well-researched book will have you focusing on every choice you make and ask how you can make better decisions.

Charles will teach you how to focus on the big picture while keeping yourself motivated in the details. He’ll unpack the dynamic of teamwork, setting SMART goals, and dealing with distractions.

This is not a book to change what you’re doing. It’s a book on how to do what you’re already doing, but better. I think we can all benefit from that, don’t you?

Have you ever been to the grand canyon? This is a book about how such a wonder is created.

This book will help you focus on the little things. We’ve often heard that greatness is the result of little things being done consistently. This book paints that picture very vividly.

Olson focuses on daily decisions to help achieve great success and accomplish extremely large feats. Notice a trend here?

An example he uses in the book to depict the benefit of the slight edge is the Grand Canyon. He points out that the 18-miles wide and 1-mile deep spectacle was the result of constant erosion over time. Something small resulting in something massive. (Let that sink in…)

This same principle can be applied to our everyday lives and habits. Have you ever seen someone lose weight as the result of a diet and put the weight back on shortly after getting off of it? That’s because they stop the habits that got them to that point in the first place.

Imagine if we never stopped the habits that make us thinner, stronger, smarter and richer? Open your mind to that possibility with this highly beneficial read.

This book gets straight to the point. “The 48 Laws Of Power” by Robert Greene skips the appetizers and jumps headfirst into the meat and potatoes.

Greene lays out a well thought out list of laws with examples and applications for each. Some laws will be harder to swallow than others but it’s your interpretation that will provide the most value here.

This book has had a reputation for being manipulative. If you can get past that discomfort you’ll find the laws to be valuable and true. The choice to use them for offense or defense is completely up to the reader.

The one thing that cannot be denied, however, is the wealth of knowledge and value that sits between these pages. It’s that understanding that will help you navigate troubled waters when you need to.

“Become who you are by learning who you are.” ROBERT GREENE

Simple question… Do you want to be one of the best at what you do?

As men, our competitive nature often pushes us towards greatness and striving for the next challenge. Imagine being able to focus that energy towards something productive and specific.

Robert Greene wants to help you focus that energy with “Mastery.” In it, he lays out the steps you should follow to reach mastery in your specific discipline. In order to do that, you must first find out what you’re meant to do.

That takes some exploration, of course.

Once you know your direction, find a mentor. This is also where effort and patience come into play. It’s important to understand that mastery doesn’t happen overnight.

This book also dives into the topic of social intelligence. It’s important to understand people and not try to change them. This will allow you to avoid toxic relationships and let you focus on your growth. (Refer back to “The Power of The Other” for more on this)

Whatever it is you decide to do in life, “Mastery” is the book that will show you how to reach the highest level of achievement.

Last but certainly not least is the second book by New York Times best-selling author, Lewis Howes. In “The Mask of Masculinity”, he addresses the issue of masculinity in our current society. He explains how men are clearly screaming for help when you look at the shocking statistics regarding social skills, homicide rates, school performance, and suicide rates. (It’s a true eye-opener.)

The author also points out the fact that society’s portrayal of men often causes them to take on different personas or “masks” in order to hide vulnerabilities. These masks, when left on, can prove to be detrimental to our relationships, careers, and lives.

As you read through the masks laid out in this book you will find that you either identify with or know someone that fits the description of each one. By understanding our masks, we can then work to take them off and switch them as needed.

Even further, we can let our mask down to those closest to us and practice being accepted for who we really are. This new vulnerability can help men find assistance when they need it the most.

As men, our emotional intelligence is often non-existent. This book can help you start to explore that void and ultimately allow you to better communicate your feelings with others.

Conclusion

If you manage to read just a few of these books over the course of the next twelve months and implement their teachings, I’m sure you will start seeing results and noticing a difference in your life.

The important thing to keep in mind is the value of these books is limited to the amount of action you take. If you never start practicing what you read, you will never truly learn. It’s all about taking the steps necessary to turn the knowledge into real-world results.

If you have a book you think belongs on this list, please be sure to share! I know this is just the tip of the iceberg. There are countless top 20 lists that look completely different but are just as good. These are just some of the most impactful reads I can think of for where I am in my journey.

I welcome you to share yours with me.

#LetsGrow

Bonus Book – The Five Love Languages

This is a book that proved to be the most divisive when I shared it. I get it… It’s not for everyone. However, I still feel compelled to add “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.

This book can help you build and cultivate a happy and flourishing relationship. The author breaks down the five different ways we receive and show love. This is beneficial to understand since we all have different ideas of how to show and receive love. Our individual preference is the love language we speak.

A major benefit you will get from this book is the ability to understand how you naturally share Love with others. What’s even better is you will be able to learn your partners love language as well. (Or future partner, depending on where you currently are in life.)

With that understanding, you will be equipped to communicate more effectively which will help to grow in your relationship. Additionally, when you are in a relationship that is flourishing, your personal growth will see some major improvement as well.

Don’t sleep on this short but impactful read.

Audible Link

Lastly, one tool that has been an absolute game-changer for me when consuming books is the Audible App. Not only are you able to keep a library of books, but you can also speed up the audio and listen as fast as 2X Speed and still maintain retention!

Do yourself a favor and get a free trial of Audible today!