Eviscerate

It just sounds bad ass, amiright? It just sounds like a completely unpleasant experience. Like, if someone walks up to you and says: “I’m gonna eviscerate you”. You’re probably gonna think one of a couple things. One: “Why is this person coming up to me and using such big words?” Or two: “I wonder if that means they’re gonna give me a really nice hug.”

Look. If that’s what you’re thinking, then you’d only be half right, because no one walks around using the word “eviscerate”. But, perhaps they should. Cause here’s why:

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines eviscerate as :

a : to take out the entrails of : disembowel

b : to deprive of vital content or force

Ouch! See! It totally does sound like an unpleasant experience. Kinda sounds old tyme like, too, doesn’t it? Something they’d use round the turn of the century. Not the turn of this century, FYI. Duh. I’m talking the turn of last century.

And that is where the mind is located.

“Eviscerate” brings to mind dimly lit, unsterile operating conditions. Know what I mean? People fucking around with Radium because they think it’s cool. Patients lying on blood stained wood tables. Dudes in wool suits standing around with rolled up sleeves, long beards and questionably clean knives. Saying shit like:

“I say, chap. I believe you just eviscerated this poor fellow’s bowel.” One long bearded dude pointed out to his not-wearing-surgical-gloves-cause-they-haven’t-been-invented-yet colleague.

“Incorrect!” The not-wearing-surgical-gloves-cause-they-haven’t-been-invented-yet doctor exclaimed, swatting a fly away from his face. “That…” He replied, pointing to a still intact organ. “…is his bowel. I just eviscerated this poor chap’s spleen. Where did you go to medical school, anyway Archibald? Yale?!?”

Man! I don’t know how we made it out of the 19th century, at all. Wing and a prayer, man. Wing and a prayer.

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