LADIES AND GENTLEMEN LET’s get ready for the MAAAAAAIIIIIIIN EVENT of the EVENING!!!!!!

In the red corner: A 92 years young gem hailing from a local nursing home. He weighs in at a hefty 105 pounds. Known for his dementia and unwillingness to sit in a chair, he is the beast from the east, the ITALIAN Stallion, the challenger. MRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!.....X !!!!!!!!!

In the blue corner: He’s been known as the master of destinies, breaker of chains. Measuring at a daunting 6’3” weighing in at 230 lbs. He is the undisputed, heavyweight champion of the world!!!!!! CT “the scanner of the universe” TECH!!!!!!!!!!!

A little backstory to this historic fight. MR. X was at his nursing home when he fell out of his wheelchair and hit his head on the floor. He sustained a 6 cm laceration on the right side of his scalp. He is a man of few words given his prior history of severe dementia and aphasia. Given his age and the fact that he sustained blunt head trauma, the decision was made to get a CT scan to look for an intracranial bleed.

So getting back to the action.

ROUND 1: MR. X heads down to the CT scanner. 5 minutes later the phone rings. MR. CT Tech, who is 6’3” and weighs in at 230 lbs of pure muscle informs everyone that MR. X is simply too much. He cannot be contained. In spite of going “above and beyond,” the CT Tech has to concede the first round to MR. X and is sending back the 92 year old 105 lb challenger. What a surprise.

Judges score the round 9-10, 9-10, 10-9 for Mr. X.

In between Rounds: Mr. X’s cut is being worked on by his corner. The champions have slipped Mr. X a little ativan to relax him. Mr. X is starting to fade. It looks like the end of the fight is near.

ROUND 2: The bell rings. This time the ED physician and a nurse escort MR. X down. Mr. X is lying on his side. He is transported onto the CT table again. With all his might he fights through the effect of the ativan and refuses to lie straight. After the three men finally get him on his back he refuses to stay down. Tape is applied across his head and body. With ease Mr. X battles back and breaks the tape. He continues to move. In a surprise move he starts to act sedated. The team rushes out of the room. CT Tech hits the button and it looks like Mr. X is going to lose the fight. But wait…. What’s this. Mr. X was just playing possum. As slice number 42 is fired Mr. X is somehow able to muster up super human strength and breaks through just enough of the restraints to move. The bell marking the end of round 2 rings.

Judges score the round 10-10, 10-9, 9-10 for CT Tech

In between rounds: Mr. X’s cut is now being numbed, irrigated and stapled shut by his corner men. The staff in the hospital sit with smug looks on their face. They think they’ve done it. The CT will be good enough for a read and the match will be over. The phone suddenly rings. The physician confidently picks it up. It’s the radiologist. The physician listens, his smile vanishes as does all the color in his face. He can’t believe it. The radiologist has reported that on slide number 42 an epidural hematoma can’t be ruled out. That’s right folks, Mr. X made it through round 2 and we are going to go to a 3rd and final round.

The nurse calls CT Tech who again reports that he has gone “above and beyond” and that he won’t attempt another CT. What’s this, has the champ decided to throw in the towel? The physician who has been working all night picks up the phone, “what do you mean that you ‘won’t do the CT? This patient possibly has an intracranial bleed. This is an EMERGENCY. You can’t just refuse.” With that pep talk the CT Tech agrees to the third round.

ROUND 3: 2 nurses, an ER tech, and the physician make the long journey down to the CT Scanner. Mr. X seems oddly sedate. He occasionally pokes jabs at the staff by desaturating to the high 80s. An intelligent move as the staff cannot give any more sedating medications for concern of making Mr. X apneic. Mr. X is moved onto the table. Koban, a velcro band, and tape are applied to keep Mr. X in place. The team of 5 watch as Mr. X seems to be still. Is he playing possum again. Everyone holds their breath. The CT Tech hits the scan button and to everyone’s surprise they are finally able to get MR. X's CT HEAD.

The Bell Rings.

Everyone goes back to their respective corners. Mr. X is stable. The Staff is exhausted. This scrappy 92 year old man had kicked their ass. In an unprecedented display of strength he took out 6 people half his age. The phone rings. The CT is read as negative. And there you have it ladies and gentlemen...IT’S ALL OVER!!!!!!! But one thing is for sure Mr. X’s spirit is legendary!