Have you ever stuck your foot so far in your mouth that it came out the other end? That’s just what a poor fellow did recently on Scruff, Grindr‘s bearded big brother.

“Love your tat too dude! Very straight!” a user wrote to Little Kiwi, who later blogged about the exchange.

“Straight?” LK responded.

“It’s a tatt a straight guy would get. I love it,” he wrote back, adding that he meant it as a complement. Nice try, but Little Kiwi’s tattoo is a tribute to Harvey Milk.

Whoops!

Sometimes it can be hard to feel awesome about being gay when people complement you on being something other than what you really are. Do you cringe when you read profiles that say “straight-acting”? There’s so much to unpack there: The sadness of having to adopt an act rather than being true to yourself, whether that’s the the marginalization of femmes or butches.

We get it: some guys are butch. Some guys like butches. And sometimes it’s pretty sexy to fantasize about the straight dude who transgresses into our world. Just, you know, watch your language and have some respect for what you, and other people, are.

“God I’m an idiot,” Little Kiwi’s new friend texted after learning the truth.

LK assured him there was real no offense taken but later blogged that it was “a teachable moment”: