When Malory has a breast cancer scare, she makes the mistake of telling Lana within the same galaxy as Pam, who texts the secret to everyone but Archer and Ray. Archer knows how to uncover ISIS secrets: just ask Pam. When Malory sees Dr. Speltz, he finds Malory tested as a false positive, but Archer has a dead crawfish in his right lung. (Who knew AmPetCo was such a mistake?) Archer O.D.s on positivity and little pink ribbons. Seamus gets more than that for which Trinette bargained. While waiting in the hospital lobby for the surgery to end, Cheryl moans "This is so boring and forever taking!", but some of the gang are determined to see Archer through his cancer - even after Archer takes off with Woodhouse's little brother, Dicky. Their prepaid snort in Las Vegas turns out to suck and blow for both Dicky and Archer. (Figgis, you got some 'splainin' to do!!) On the eve of Archer's surgery, Lana puts 100% of herself into Team Cure Archer, who is shitfaced and spouting love. Four hours ... Written by LA-Lawyer