BUTCH? OR FEMME?

Are you a butch or a femme? Or something in between?

Take our test and find out!

This is the full monty - the 100 question test! Have fun!

We'd like to thank, bless, bow to, express our kudos to and worship our net friend who offered free use of his server and wrote the perl script to enable automated scoring!!! PLEASE VISIT HIS SITE AT: FLUTTERBY!!

Now, answer the following as honestly as you can.

We realize some questions have more than one answer you'd choose equally well, or no answer you would choose. This is a test of how you react in a forced answer situation to see how you think, so pick the best one you can and live with it!

You MUST select at least one choice for each question or your result WILL be inaccurate.

Ready? GO!

When making a grilled cheese sandwich with limited cooking materials, are you more likely to:

Iron it

Skip making it

Put it out on a hot sidewalk on a plate

Wrap in foil and cook on hot truck engine

Sear with butane torch Do you carry a:

Fanny pack

Wallet

Money? What's that?

Bra or Belt (inside the lining) money bag

Purse To crush ice, you would rather:

Slam bag on concrete

Smash bag with hammer

Run over it with truck

Use electric ice crusher

Chew it To chop wood for a fireplace, you'd rather use:

Saw

Wedge wood splitter

Chainsaw

Your neighbor's help

Hand axe If you rip your clothes, you repair them by:

Stapling

Scotch tape

Buy new clothes

Ignoring the rip

Sewing (Ignoring any allergies) you prefer as a pet:

Dog

Cat

Pet other than Dog or Cat

No pet

Dog or Cat Your idea of a good dinner entree is:

Pasta

Meat casserole

TV Dinner

Salad

Steak In an empty apartment, the first furniture to buy is:

Couch

Bed

Computer Table/chair

TV/stand (if needed)/chair

Dining Table and Chairs On a first date, you prefer to:

Each pay their own

Bring friends and let friends treat

Go free places

Pay for both

Be treated by date Of these five colors you best like:

Red

Blue

Orange

Black

Green When you write, you:

Write in longhand (script)

Print

Type

Dictate to someone else to type/write

Use a mix of longhand and printing You prefer to (if you could only do ONE of these things):

Fix cars

Home decorate

Care for children

Work in an office

Go shopping If you injure yourself, you:

Ignore and deal with it later

See a doctor

Rush to the ER (even if minor injury)

Run whimpering to partner to fix it

Wash and throw a bandaid on it While having dinner, you just slopped spaghetti sauce on your shirt. Do you:

Run to the nearest sink to get the stain out immediately

Strip on the spot then stroll to the ladies room

Throw some on your date to make it even

Dab it with club soda at the table

Since your shirt is now dirty anyway, you forego your napkin in favor of your sleeve You have been called on to babysit for friends at the last minute. Do you:

Plan an evening of quiet fun and adhere to the bedtime

Rent a video for the kids and talk on the phone to your pals

Strip the kids down to swim suits and attack the neighbors with water balloons

Go out to somewhere fun with them

Tell your friends "No way! Kids give me the heebie jeebies!" You are having some friends over for dinner, no special reason, just for fun. Do you:

Show off by cooking a fabulous meal

Throw steaks on the grill

Order from a caterer

Have a pot-luck

Order take-out You are given tickets to the ballet. Do you:

Trade the ballet tickets for choice seats at a football game

Gussy up and take along a friend who appreciates ballet

Attend even though it bores you

Give away tickets (nothing in exchange)

Attend but leave at intermission You break a nail while doing some home repair. Do you:

File it down and put a bandaid on it

Nearly faint with the trauma and make an emergency appointment to have it repaired

Do nothing and suck on the sore finger all day pouting

Superglue it back together

Rip the rest of the nail off with your teeth and continue with your project You have a sinkful of dirty dishes. You have a good dishwasher. Do you:

Soak them in hot soapy water then load the dishwasher

Hand wash them without gloves

Load the dishwasher without rinsing them

Leave them for somebody else; you don't do dishes

Ignore them and go out and buy paper plates Your car breaks down on the road. Do you:

Call AAA

Call a friend who's good with cars

Stand by roadside looking helpless and wave down help

Push car (however far) to nearest mechanic

Drag your toolbox out of the trunk and fix it yourself Your house is on fire. Do you:

Call your friends for a BBQ

Drag out the garden hose and put it out yourself

Save the pets and your credit card wallet

Save your jewelry and antiques

Run screaming, saving nothing but yourself You're sitting in your living room and are cold. Do you:

Put on more clothes

Light candles and warm your hands over them

Build a fire

Close the windows and turn on the heat

Sit and grit it out shivering You are on foot, walking with a girlfriend. You are faced with crossing a lively, "bold" creek about 1-3 feet deep. Do you:

Walk along the bank until you find a bridge

Dive in and try to swim it

Try to rock hop across

Ask your friend to carry you

Chop down a nearby tree to land across the creek and walk across that You prefer to travel by:

On foot

On bicycle

On motor bike

In hand powered boat (oars)

By car

In a truck

On a train

On a plane

On a powered ship (any size)

Hitchhike If FORCED to wear eye shadow, what color would you wear:

blue

brown

You'd have to consult your colorist

a color that matches your skin tone exactly

purple When going for a haircut, do you:

Cut it yourself

Ask a friend to cut it

Go to a barber

You don't cut your hair

Go to a hairdresser You are attending a special holiday meal at your in-laws (assume you have some!). Do you:

Sit and wait to be called to dinner

Bring something you cooked then get out of the way

Dive into the kitchen to help

Wait til most work is done then volunteer to help

Skip helping cooking and help in cleanup instead

When choosing scents for your personal hygiene products (includes colognes, deoderants, shaving supplies, lotions and/or perfumes), you prefer:

Light, fresh scent, (i.e., rain, cucumber, baby powder)

Flowery scent (i.e., rose, jasmine)

Fruity scent (i.e., strawberry, peach)

Musky scent, (i.e., sandalwood)

Bold, spicy scent (i.e., patchouli)

Minty scent (i.e., peppermint)

No scent

A variety of scents all at once

Whatever's on sale

Herbal scent (i.e., sage, lavendar) When dressing to go hang out with your friends, you prefer to wear:

Loose, baggy, comfortable clothing

Sharp, crisply starched, tailored clothing

The latest trend

Tight jeans and loose shirt/blouse

Something daring and revealing The toilet is overflowing. Do you:

Scream for somebody else to fix it while you try not to panic

Get on your hands and knees and turn the water off

Grab the towels and plunger and go to work

Calmly go report the problem

Run screaming from the bathroom Your ideal choice for a new vehicle is:

Sports car

Sensible sedan

Economy car

Light truck

Sports utility vehicle

Luxury car

BIG pick-up truck

Whatever's cheap

Station wagon

Motorcycle

You are out on a date and your friend's breath is less than fresh. Do you:

Offer gum or a breath mint

Subtly try to bring it to their attention by asking if they had onions for dinner

Tell them point blank their breath is foul

Say nothing and try to think of how to avoid a good night kiss

Say nothing and kiss goodnight anyway When doing the laundry, do you:

Use spot removal, bleach and fabric softener

Wash lights and darks separately

Throw everything in the wash together

Hand wash everything

Send your laundry out to a laundry service If there was a law passed, banning cars, trucks, motorcycles, etc., your preferred mode of travel would be:

On bicycle

On foot

Horseback

Carriage

Cable Car Your quick snack of choice is:

Candy or sweets

Fruits and vegetables

Chips, nuts, crackers or popcorn

A sandwich or a hot dog

You don't eat snacks Choose the career that interests you most:

Museum curator or antique dealer

Corporate CEO

Health Care Provider

Artist (all arts)

Working with animals

Inventor

Politician

Contractor

Police or Fire Rescue

Psychologist

Coach or teacher In private spaces, you prefer which type of decor:

Spartan

Light, airy colors with delicate furniture

Dark, rich colors with oversized furniture

Antiques

Contemporary When drinking soda, beer or water, you prefer to:

Drink from a glass

Drink from a plastic bottle

Drink from a can

Drink from a plastic cup

Drink from a glass bottle On Valentine's Day (assuming you have a partner or steady), do you expect:

To be the coordinator of a special romantic date

To be wined and dined by your lover

To exchange simple tokens of affection

To spend the day... intimately

To attend a public event such as a dance, and share the evening with friends Your ultimate choice of a gift to receive, if this was all there was to choose from, would be:

A gift certificate

Sports equipment/gear

Clothing

Books

Technological gadgets

When out on a date with your lover, do you most frequently:

You each pay your own expense

Quietly pay the tab before your lover can protest

Pick up the tab and ignore your lover's protests

Let your lover pick up the tab without making an attempt to pay it yourself

Protest your lover paying for it, then let your lover pick up the tab anyway When choosing your "spot" in the den, you are most likely to:

Give up the recliner or comfy chair for your lover to have it

Choose the corner of the sofa with the best view of the television

Choose the recliner or comfy chair

Choose a rocker rather than a stuffed sofa or chair

Sit on the floor

Sit on the sofa table

Pile up pillows on the floor and flop on them

Sit in your lover's lap

Have your lover sit in your lap

Choose the part of the den with the best lighting If you had or do have a garden, you tend to:

Grow more vegetables or fruit trees

Grow more flowers

Grow anything and everything in a random fashion

Grow a mixed, but planned garden

Plan a specialized garden (i.e., Japanese, English, cactus, rock, water lily) In this garden (real or imaginary), do/would you:

Share the gardening chores and planning with your lover

Leave the garden work and plans to your lover to do

Plan it together but hire someone to do it for you

Do all the work and planning yourself

Hire someone to plan and work it for you When perplexed or confused, do you:

Ask for help (from friends, lover, professionals, family)

Consult a book

Try to solve the problem yourself

Ignore the problem

Accept offered advice, but don't ask for it (from friends, lover, professionals, family) Your idea of a spontaneous romantic event is:

A duet in the shower or tub

Skinny dipping

Dancing to your favorite song

A practical joke with a prize/reward

Suddenly appearing at your lover's door/office for an impromptu date Choose the thing that MOST causes you to notice another person:

The sound of their voice

The way they smell

Body language, walk

Facial expression

Personality

Laugh

Who they are with

Their profession

A specific body part

What they are wearing When your lover is ill, but not critically ill, do you tend to want to:

Force them up and around cause it's "good for them"

Call your mother to come help

Call every nurse you know to come help

Read all you can on their illness and become "doctor"

Nurse them back to health with special attention

Leave them to rest and recover in the body's own good time

Go stay at a friend's place to avoid getting sick (you do not HAVE to stay away)

Encourage them to "mind over matter" their illness and try to not notice their symptoms

Take them directly to a doctor

Think it is your fault (when in reality it isn't) and feel guilty When your lover achieves something grand (i.e., win award, get promoted), do you tend to want to:

Tell them whatever prize/award/raise they got is not good enough for them

Throw a party to celebrate

Take them out for a night on the town to celebrate

Sit back and watch them receive honors from everyone

Fix a special dinner for them at home

Question the judges' sanity

Call everyone you know to tell them all about it

Steal some of the limelight for yourself

Compete with them and do something grander

Ignore their accomplishment When embarassed in a crowd, you tend to:

Make a hasty retreat

Get angry

Laugh it off and quickly change the subject, never to mention it again

Make it a perpetual running joke, incorporating the experience as part of who you are

Blame your lover

When retelling a funny story or joke that you and your lover heard together, do you tend to:

Let your lover tell it because they tell it better

Tell the joke yourself because you tell it better

Ask if your lover would like to tell the story before beginning

Start telling it then strand your lover with having to tell the end

Split the story and the punchline between the two of you, speaking interactively The age of person to which you are most attracted is:

at least 11 years younger than you

7-10 years younger than you

4-6 years younger than you

1-3 years younger than you

the same age as you

1-3 years older than you

4-6 years older than you

7-10 years older than you

at least 11 years older than you

Age does not matter

If there were no resorts, your choice for an ideal vacation would be spent at/on:

Dude Ranch

Sports Camp

Home - working on the house

Music Festival

Cruise

Home - doing nothing

Relative's house

Biking across country

Sightseeing Tour

Roughing it on a camping trip You store your clothing most likely in which manner:

Separated by color

Separated by activities

On the floor/furniture

Mostly hanging all together

Mostly folded all together Your shoe of choice is:

Depends on the occasion

Lightweight Sneakers

Loafers

Work/Camp Boots

Heels

Dress Boots

Thick sole atheletic shoes

Oxfords

Sandals

Barefoot In swim wear your first choice is (assuming all are OK where you swim):

One-piece suit with a skirt

One-piece form-fitting speedo style suit

Bikini

Two-piece modestly cut suit

Cut offs and a tank top

Jeans and T-shirt

Swim trunks, no top

Zip/speedo suit (bottom only)

A wet suit (as in diving)

Your "birthday suit" When out for a walk, you prefer to walk on:

A paved road

A dirt road

A clay track

A grassy field

A stone or brick path

A wooded path of pine straw

A path of wood chips

A path of pebbles

A concrete sidewalk

The beach The kind of movie you enjoy most is most likely:

Comedy

Action/Adventure

Horror

Mystery

Crime Drama

Human Drama

Musical

Old Classics

Biographical

Science Fiction/Fantasy If you were in King Arthur's court, you would be the:

King Arthur

Queen Gwenivere

Merlin the Wizard

Sir Kay, the King's foster brother

King Pellinore, the old king who was King Arthur's friend

Gawain, the King's Champion

Lancelot, the knight in love with the Queen

Morgan LeFay, the King's sister and mother of Mordred

Mordred, the King's ill-begotten son, and enemy

The Lady of the Lake, the Wizard's goddess/helper When naming a pet, you tend to name it:

According to its personality/behavior

After a real person it reminds you of

After a favorite fictional character

A human name you just like the sound of

According to its physical markings or looks Choose a food that best describes your personality (not necessarily a food you like to eat):

Ice cream (cool and creamy)

Salad (a lot of different ingredients)

A Jalopeno (hot, spicy)

Fresh Baked Bread (warm and tender)

Cake (soft and sweet)

I'm NOT a food!

Candy (hard and sweet)

Vegetables (nurturing)

Pie (crusty on the outside, sweet on the inside)

Meat and Potatoes (filling and satisfying) You win a large hot tub in a contest. You are most likely to "christen" it by:

Inviting your lover to join you

Soaking alone

Asking a small number of friends to join you

Treating it like a shrine and not using it

Throwing a party inviting everyone you know Of the magazines listed below, your first choice of a subscription would be:

TV Guide

People

Time or Newsweek

Life

Readers Digest When bathing you prefer:

Long hot baths

Short hot showers

Short cool baths

Long cool showers

Short cool showers

I don't bathe

Bathing in a lake or river

Long hot showers

Long cool baths

Short hot baths You would prefer to live:

In a moderate climate (little variation between seasons)

In a tropical (hot) climate

In a cold climate

In a climate of changing seasons (cold and hot)

In a rainy climate When people are late for scheduled appointments or dates, do you:

Get upset at them

Get impatient but wait

Use the time waiting productively

Wait a reasonable time then leave

Wait patiently forever if need be When bathing, what order are you most likely to follow:

Wash hair, then body head to toe

Wash hair, add conditioner, then body head to toe

Wash body head to toe then hair

Wash body head to toe, then hair and conditioner

Wash body toe to head, then hair

Wash body toe to head, then hair and conditioner

Wash nastier parts first, then rest of body then hair

Wash cleaner parts first, then hair, then rest of body

Wash from left to right across body (down or up, hair either end of wash)

Wash from right to left (down or up, hair either end) You prefer which of the following in bed sheets:

Percale prints - floral

Percale solids

Whatever comes in the "bed in a bag"

Percale whites

All cotton prints - floral

All cotton solids

All cotton whites

You don't use sheets

Percale prints - geometric

All cotton prints - geometric How important to you is "the place" where you have sex?

Very important

Not important

Not really important but helps if nice

Not critical, but important

Important only on rare occasions When laughing, do you tend to:

Giggle

Belly laugh

Chuckle

Snicker

Smile more than laugh The things that make you laugh more are:

Self embarassment

Cleverness and wit

Slapstick comedy

Mistakes you make

Other people's tribulations Your favorite time of day to accomplish things is:

Morning

Afternoon

Evening

Night

It varies The style of housing which suits you best is:

Apartment or condo

Farm house

"Suburban" traditional

Cabin

Victorian/old urban The piece of technology by which you are most intimidated is:

Computer

Stereo system

VCR

Cellular phone

Video games The objects most likely to be found under your sofa cushions are:

Loose change

Food crumbs

Pencils or pens

The TV remote

Stray facial tissues Choosing from the following, the classic tale with which you most identify is:

Don Quixote

Huckleberry Finn

Lady Chatterly's Lover

Wuthering Heights

Red Badge of Courage The character from the "Wizard of Oz" you most identify with is:

The scarecrow who needs a brain

The cowardly lion

The tin man who needs a heart

Dorothy who wants to go home

Glenda the good witch

The wicked witch of the west

Auntie Em, Dorothy's guardian

The Wizard of Oz

The munchkins who live in Oz

Toto, the dog The skill that was the most difficult for you to master as a child was:

Tying your shoes

Whistling

Riding a bike

Blowing bubble gum

Dressing yourself You are more easily awakened by:

Light

Noise

Touch

You can't be wakened

Habit (always same time) When looking for a phone number you are more likely to:

Call and ask a friend who has it

Look it up in the phone book

Look it up in your address book/rolladex

Call information

Skip calling all together When at a cookout you tend to:

Be the bartender

Be the one cooking on a gas grill

Be the one cooking over charcoal grill

Be the one cleaning up after it

Be the one entertaining everyone else The household chore you are most likely to AVOID doing is:

The dishes

The laundry

The vacuuming

The dusting

The bathroom cleaning When you kiss someone the first time (mutual kiss), you kiss her/his:

Cheek

Forehead or hand

Lips, mouth closed

Lips, mouth open

Neck If a person you just met (you like them as a new friend but aren't sexually interested in them) tries to hug you on leaving, you:

Return the hug whole heartedly

Give a "kissin cousins" hug with space between your bodies

Dodge the hug and back off

Dodge the hug and offer a handshake instead

Hug them and kiss them (on cheek, lips, wherever) Seated in a living room chair, you position your legs:

Crossed ankle over knee

Crossed at ankle with knees together

Crossed at knee

Not crossed

Propped up on furniture or tucked under bottom You catch a thrown ball by:

"Trapping it" in your clothing or using a glove

Bare one-handed catch

Bare two-handed catch

Wait til it grounds then pick it up

Scrambling whatever way the ball hits you Your long distance special friend, loved relative, or lover has a birthday. You:

Send a card

Send a card and a check

Send a card and a gift certificate

Send a card and a gift

Call them only You've received a birthday gift of a check for $100 from a distant friend/relative/lover. You:

Call and thank them

Write a thank you beside your check endorsement

Write a formal thank you note on stationery

Call to thank and send a note

Do nothing. You broke a treasured wine goblet while washing it. You:

Toss the pieces in the trash and proceed on

Crumple in a ball on the floor and cry

Curse loudly as to the value of the glass

Pick every sliver up and glue it back together

Kick the slivers under the stove and proceed on You are eating cereal and milk at home, alone. The cereal has run out and milk remains in the bowl. Do you:

Use the spoon to finish the milk

Drink from the bowl where ever you are

Drink from the bowl over the sink

Give the milk to the cat

Throw the milk away You have a broken leg and are lost in the woods alone. You hear distant voices, but feel very weak. Do you:

Scream for help

Bang a couple of rocks together

Try to drag yourself to the voices

Sit and prepare to die, figuring they won't find you

Cry and pray and assume they'll find you You sleep with:

A small nightlight on

Absolutely no lights on

The bathroom light on

The kitchen stove light on

The bedroom light on You sleep in:

Nothing, nude

Sweats or similar

Cotton pajamas or similar

Lacy pajamas or similar

Whatever is clean at the time Meeting a celebrity you really admire/like makes you:

Speechless

Chatter endlessly about inane things

Able to talk but physically a klutz

Has no effect, normal

Want to run away When your boss disciplines you, assume here this is a good boss, you:

Take your licking and return to sulk

Argue back

Hit or threaten him/her

Cry

Remain quiet but go out and trash him/her to co-workers When you have to discipline a co-worker or child you:

Yell

Avoid doing it

Hit or threaten hitting

Reason with them

State the cold facts and deliver the punishment You are promoted and suddenly are your pals' boss. You:

Try to remain socially friendly

Slowly divorce yourself socially

Finally have a chance to get back at them!

Let them tell you what to do

Try to avoid them Your watch is broken. You:

Get along ok, finding clocks when you need the time

Are completely lost and late for everything

Don't look for clocks, prefering to ask others for the time

Call time/temperature every hour

Estimate time by the sun/moon A parent you love is old and infirm, but needs no critical nursing. They can't live alone any more though. Do you:

Put them in a nursing home

Put them in an assisted living facility

Take them into your home

Talk your sibling into taking them

Let them remain where they are In your view, the most important character trait your partner must have is:

Love

Honesty

Compassion

Patience

Obedience

Ability to provide

Be well educated

Sense of humor

Communication skills

Positive outlook on life

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