When did a domestic help become a man's object of fantasy? Kalpana Sharma explores. When did a domestic help become a man's object of fantasy? Kalpana Sharma explores. When did a domestic help become a man's object of fantasy? Kalpana Sharma explores. AFTER a domestic maid accused actor Shiney Ahuja of rape, an issue that was always undercover has been blown into the open. A few years ago, Aditya Panscholi was also accused of sleeping with his maid, promising her a break.

For a repressed Indian male, a maid can be an inviting prospect... a subject of domination and an outlet for their desires. Indian men, though, unlike the nanny scandals of the West, don't fall in love with their maids. And while the Indian housewife too has always hired her maid after mentally sizing up whether the master of the house wouldn't find her too distracting , there have also been hushed whispers about young boys being sexually initiated in the ex p e r i e n c e d hands of older, frustrated maids.

"The image is of a harmless woman, who men feel like overpowering. It's like unleashing their beastly side which they know will not be tolerated by their wives or girlfriends. And, if you observe a maid at work, with ample cleavage on display as she bends to do her work, a man can get enticed," says relationship expert Rajinder Bajwa.

"A maid's swaying behind as she works is the first sexy thing most Indian men encounter within the home. Men can easily convince themselves that the motion is deliberate," says an expert.

But what happens to relationships after a woman realises her man's newfound fantasy? Most of them never see the light of day. Actress Pooja Bedi, who outed then boyfriend Panscholi, says, "When I got to know that he had consensual sex with my maid, I was horrified. I just couldn't see any sense in it. But I knew that I couldn't tolerate infidelity. There is nothing more terrible. I immediately dumped him."

Adds line producer Samridhi Katyal, "If I ever found out my man's sexual inclination towards a maid, it would make me sick. But honestly, I have seen women around me carefully hiring their maids, because whether they admit it or not there is some anxiety associated with having a sexy maid roaming around your house. It makes one insecure."

In the past, many Hollywood stars have also been accused of sharing a 'special bond' with their housemaids. Take the case of Uma Thurman's husband Ethan Hawke who divorced the actress to be with their nanny. Actor Jude Law cheated on fianc�� Sienna Miller by having an affair with the family's nanny. He reasoned it out by saying that he didn't like Sienna's partying ways. Even Hollywood's hottest couple could not stay unaffected by the nanny brigade. Angelina Jolie fired their kids' nanny because she caught actor Brad Pitt getting too close for comfort.

The concept isn't new. In a much talked about episode of Desperate Housewives, Lynette fired her dream nanny just because her husband found her attractive. The movie No Entry had a similar scene where Lara Dutta, who plays an obsessed wife, fires her domestic help since she dresses provocatively and looks attractive.

A recent survey also revealed that men feel more attracted to average-looking women than sexy toned bodies. There's a nanny obsession online too. Log on to find many searches on X-rated , pornographic 'maid' stories , videos and graphics. "The fact that there exists such content online proves that maids are considered an object of fantasy. It may also make a man feel that it's okay to be attracted to a domestic help," says PR manager Anand Mahesh.

However, maids are meant to wash the family's dirty linen, not be the cause of it... So, how did they become a man's object of fantasy? "Men usually don't feel attracted to a maid because of her looks or charm. It could be that in a fastpaced lifestyle, a maid is someone who comes across as a woman who is nonthreatening , non-competitive unlike other women surrounding the man," reasons psychologist Sandeep Vohra.

He adds, "Also, the fact that a domestic maid never raises her voice or snaps makes a man feel more in control." Often, it's just a simple question of availability. So, while these bonds are sure to court controversy, it's time we faced the truth that's stared at us for decades!

kalpana.sharma@timesgroup .com