Dearest mother —

I have received your care package of cured raccoon knuckles and the fresh bottle of Squirrel Oil. It has been decided the unit shall battle on Saturday, perhaps giving us the element of surprise. We have enlisted an ox to help strategize. Determined.

— Andrew

Ahead of the Indianapolis Colts playoff game against the Houston Texans Saturday, Captain Andrew Luck penned his latest missive to his dearest mother.

The Captain is ready for battle (the playoffs), and the hilarious parody account expressed those feelings in a way only @CaptAndrewLuck can.

Colts fans know that quarterback Andrew Luck isn't actually tweeting from the Twitter account but the historic details and Civil War-era phrasing create a type of authenticity that's drawn over 400,000 followers to the account.

In honor of what could be actual Andrew Luck's last game of the 2018 season, here's the Colts season as told by the Captain.

Week 1

After the Colts suffered a 34-23 loss to the Cincinnati Bengals, Captain Andrew Luck wrote of a lost battle against "the Tiger men."

The post also states that "my sidearm was true," referencing Luck's first game back after missing the entire 2017 season recovering from shoulder surgery.

Week 2

The Colts picked up their first win of the season, beating Washington 21-9. The captain chose to celebrate with a bottle of Squirrel Oil.

Week 3

The Colts fell to 1-2 with a 20-16 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles. The Colts led in the fourth quarter but ultimately "the Eagle men's talons proved too sharpe."

Week 4

Indy drops its second game in a row, losing to Houston 37-34 in overtime. The Captain finds a hilarious way to congratulate Adam Vinatieri on setting the NFL's all-time field goal record, and remains upbeat about the team's status moving forward. Luck threw for a season-high 464 yard in the loss.

Week 5

The Colts' losing streak extends to three games at the hands of "Capt Brady" and the New England Patriots.

Week 6

The low point of the Colts' season came after their 42-34 loss to the New York Jets. The loss dropped Indy to 1-5. Capt. Andrew Luck included a captivating illustration of the battle.

Week 7

The Colts ended their losing streak with a 37-5 win over the Buffalo Bills. The Captain's optimism about the season returned: "The clouds have parted. Sunshine beats down on my face. We shall enjoy this."

Week 8

After winning their second game in a row, Captain Andrew Luck feels the Colts season turning around.

"I dare say the tide has turned. The unit secured another victory in the Land of Oak."

Bye Week

The Colts had a bye week during Week 9 of the season. The Captain used the time off to enjoy "a fresh batch of Squirrel Oil."

Week 10

The well-rested Colts increase their win streak to three games with a 29-26 win over the Jacksonville Jaguars.

"The Jungle Cat men dug in their claws, but we were able to hold them off. The sun shines brighter everyday."

Week 11

The Colts play one of their best games of the season, defeating the Tennessee Titans 38-10 and improving to 5-5 on the season. Indy's win streak moves to four.

Week 12

The Colts "trusted sniper" Adam Vinatieri's game-winning field goal sent Indy to its fifth straight victory. The win moved the Colts over .500 for the first time all season.

Week 13

The Colts' win streak ends after a 6-0 loss to the Jaguars. Indy dropped to 6-6. The Captain is disappointed by his troop's effort.

Week 14

Captain Andrew Luck is re-energized after the Colts defeat the Texans 24-21. Wide Receiver T.Y. Hilton broke out for 199 yards on nine receptions.

Week 15

Colts move to 8-6 with a 23-0 win over the Dallas Cowboys. The win has the Captain thinking about the postseason.

"There remains a chance our campaign lengthens, a marvelous thought. I love you."

Week 16

The Colts improved to 9-6 with a close 28-27 win over the New York Giants. This entry is probably the funniest letter from Capt. Luck all season.

"They attempted to squish us, but we were prepared for their massive limbs. I have never been more proud of these men."

Week 17

The Colts end the regular season with a 33-17 win, clinching a spot in the playoffs. Capt. Andrew Luck and his army earned the right to fight on.

"I shall not be returning home quite yet. Our unit was victorious in the hard fought, rain-soaked battle against the Titans. Jubilation. Our men gave it all their might. Save for one ricochet, my sidearm was true. We are awash with joy. I love you." — Andrew

Follow IndyStar sports producer Akeem Glaspie on Twitter at @THEAkeemGlaspie.