Santa Lucia on the sunrise

soundings in the channels of our hearts

twilight whispers and a million blue stars on your face

freckled and starkissed

writing the last note and I still care about punctuation

all the arguments over the Manatee River

and blowing smoke into my own face

I fell off the highway into your arms,

in a couch that was too small for my naivety

I hated all the bitter clocks,

wasting time counting out the pointless hours

and we never talk anymore

I carved a heart out of sap,

before it became amber

but it melted in my drawer next to all the little notes before–

And I can’t even look at your portrait anymore.

The sound of a piano over my whip

and the only strings that woo me are woven into the old hammock

your hair like delicate fire

and the slight lights my room through green bottles

your laugh like all the whiskey in the world

I can’t actually remember it

Sometimes I can remember the smell of your floor

lying with your dog and breathing deathly vapors

bleeding to death in a hospital to the tune of Alice

Hunger and thirst are the same

Pour all the booze into my eyes and down my shirt

because I hate everything I became

A mind pissed away against a palm tree on the beach

you only met me when I was drowning

You thought you were poisoned by all the thorny flowers in your life

and the itchy cushions in your mother’s home

The last of the nosebleeds coated my teeth and the world swam like some greater ocean

There are only so many attempts on my life I can take

delirium tremens the hellish hours of writhing in my acid

if only I had slept on my back

were the infinite quiet yet unbearable

were so many gasps struck dumb

my eyes rolled back

do you remember stepping on my face?

I was so anxious only to break it later

and the room spun like a hag

and the mornings became nights

and I swam through the lust,

I relished in the blood, the sins that charged my hours

how I loved them so.