Anonymous asked: Is it possible for a spirit to be damned to forever haunt someone's butthole?

Theoretically, yes, but it is important to remember that a butthole will decay; after a century or so your damned spirit will be freed of its rectal prison. There are two options here. The first is to steep the body in formaldehyde or to simply freeze it. Neither of these preserve the high level of grossness that you’re hoping to maintain.

Even after becoming liches, many necromancers have issues with the immensities of time they’re dealing with.

Given that it’s unlikely you want to have your own butthole forever inhabited by a damned spectre, I’d recommend creating a zombie familiar. As a zombie, it has a truly wretched arsehole, but as a familiar it should have just enough necromantic energy to halt the process of decay. It’s a nightmare for any butthole-bound-being, spirit or otherwise.

Alternatively, inflict the anally-affixed apparition on a rival liche. I can think of a few liches I’d like to inflict with a rectal phantasm.

If you have a question for the necromancer, ask here.