1. Canada was founded on the values of: A productive business that maximizes profit A murderous caliphate A backwards liberal state where everyone is forced to be transgender A tax-hungry, refugee-loving dystopia with a required long-form census and a gun registry

2. A woman has the right to: Be an active member in politics and take leadership positions in society so long as she opposes abortion Wear whatever niqab she chooses Be a man, or a woman-man, or a woman-pineapple, or whatever Have the nerve to ask her employer for pay equity

3. If a passenger train left Jasper, Alberta at 10:45 AT travelling eastward at 103 km/h while a CN freight train departed Prince Albert, Saskatchewan at 11:11 CT, travelling westward at 72 km/h, at what time would these trains collide and which group of people are to blame? 17:40, the engineers 20:16, Al-Qaeda/Justin Trudeau 21:17, years of budget cuts that has lead to the erosion of our national railway system 22:36, accidents sometimes happen

4. As a new citizen of Canada, I will: Not complain about anything and keep my mouth shut if I know what’s good for me Take advantage of everyone, especially flag-waving grandmothers and orphans Contribute to the dying field of the arts Assimilate and give myself a Canadian name, like ‘Gord’, or ‘Kelly’

5. My intention in immigrating to Canada is to: Only to give my labour as a Temporary Foreign Worker and get out when I’m told Stay and become a doctor stealing an in-demand job from other doctors who refuse to be a general physician Destroy every Canadian tradition from prayers at city council meetings to only serving gluten-only options at restaurants Implement shariah law just like in Ontario

6. Welfare is: Only to be used by the Queen and her family The real reason people immigrate to Canada A plague on society breeding sloth and greed A great way to support your extended family in Canada

7. Our veterans are: To be admired for the ability to fend for themselves as their benefits were cut to balance a budget All torturers who defiled your country Individuals who, for a variety of reasons including national pride, need of a career or exposure to propaganda, enlisted and served in the Canadian Forces for a period of time before retiring The recipients of benefits through various statues

8. What is your favorite sport? Hockey Soccer Stoning a Christian Canadian flag burning

9. What religion are you? God fearing Christian who feels uncomfortable around the others Other