Since I began BJJ Girl, the question I get asked all the time is, “What made you start training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu?”

I’ve always answered with the standard, “Oh, it was because of an ex that used to train, and he made me curious about the sport.” Or “I just wanted to learn something new.”

I am now going to tell you the real reason: I started training because I was in a physically abusive relationship. There I said it…just writing that was harder than I thought it would be.

Other than those select few close to me, nobody knew the truth. Until now I have been reluctant to speak about it for many reasons. However, as I sit here and write this blog post, I can’t help but think that I am not alone. The statistics say that in the United States, in one year, 10 million men and women are victims of domestic violence.

After getting out of the abusive relationship, I knew it was time to do some healing. One of the things on my list was to take some sort of self-defense class. I did a little research and came across Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

I first stepped on a mat in January 2010 in Temecula, California. I tried an all women’s No Gi class which I loved, however, two weeks into my training I tore two ligaments in my ankle. After nine months of recovery, I started training in the Gi on and off for two years. I tried several places in my area and finally found my Jiu Jitsu family at Carlson Gracie Temecula.

My first class was an experience I will never forget. I was full of anxiety, my nerves on high alert, and I felt intimidated. But at the same time, I fell in love! The first time a black belt instructor tried showing me some basic moves with light rolling, I started to cry. At the time I didn’t know why I reacted that way. All I knew is that it had taken me back to a dark place, but I forged on and decided to stay.

I am fortunate to have had such awesome experiences because of this martial art. Male dominated or not, it can give women such a feeling of empowerment that nobody can take away. You see, while Brazilian Jiu Jitsu has given me the confidence and skills I know I can use if I ever need to, it is also a way of life. It is a constant journey in getting to know myself.

I have met some amazing people, and I have made some great friends along the way. For me, this started as a way to build the confidence I once had that was destroyed by someone else. I wanted to know that if I ever came in contact with that person and he took a shot at me, I could at the very least defend myself this time.

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu has become my passion. I used it to get over my domestic violence issues; I used it to get over my divorce; and now I use it to become a better friend, teammate and yes, even a better mother.

Not one single person in this world is perfect and while I have changed my attitude about myself, I am grateful for all my experiences and continue to grow as a person every day. I can now look forward with confidence and say, “NEVER AGAIN”.

You can follow my journey through my website www.bjjgirl.net and on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bjjgirl/

Emma Valdez One of my favorite shirts, oh how true this is.http://newazaapparel.com/collections/shirts/products/roll-white-tee?variant=9836618755