Once confined to Europe, the plague of demon dentists is now firmly established on the U.S. mainland, according to an article in the Sacramento (California) Bee.

A dentist from Woodland, Calif. is on trial, charged with 21 counts of sexual battery for allegedly fondling the chests of 14 of his female patients. As many as 26 women reported similar incidents.

According to his attorney, the dentist was using the massages in an attempt to treat a “stress-related jaw disorder.”

(I’m guessing that if any of those women had husbands, brothers, or even especially strong mothers and sisters, these relatives would have been happy to demonstrate to the dentist that stress-related jaw disorders were transmissible.)

According to the attorney, the dentist was merely imitating his brother, a physical therapist, who uses chest massages to relieve temporomandibular disorder (TMD). The attorney used anatomical drawings to demonstrate that the muscles of the face, neck, shoulders and chest are all interconnected.

The dentist, his brother, and his attorney apparently all learned their anatomy from the old spiritual “Dem Bones” (De foot bone connected to de ankle bone, de ankle bone connected to de leg bone, de leg bone connected to de knee bone. . .)

Curiously, no male patients have come forward with similar stories about this dentist. Apparently TMD is a problem only in women, or maybe the chest bone is connected to the jaw bone only in females.

—Bob Finn



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Posted in Dentistry, quackery, Sex