What part of “we can’t sweat” don’t these people get? June 4, 2006

Is it because there’s no reliable mechanism in place to provide these animals with a means to cool themselves in 100F heat? That’s a possibility. But take a look at just a few of our archive photos tagged “pigs” and you might catch a glimpse of a previously existing wallow, a generic garden hose for filling it, and a faucet to make the whole process as easy and union-friendly as possible.

Is it the big-word implications, like thermoregulation and hyperthermia? Couldn’t possibly be the case given the breadth and depth of animal agricultural experience, education, and undifferentiated spin-ese wafting from this operation. Is it because they’re bound by law from providing a species-specific, physiologic necessity in the environment? Our friends at the pro shops had four words for that talking point, only two of which will make it into print: “f——-g load of b———t.”

Or is it because they’re just incapable of operating the faucet? Now that’s a definite possibility. But half a day and and some well-timed rewards could have the two long-loin lovelies themselves operating it at will. Regardless of the excuse the only real question of any importance is, how long do these pigs have to suffer the scorching consequences?

Props to RandomRunningGuys for the update. Consistency is the better part of something we’ll have to let you know about later once we figure out roughly what the hell it is.