Dear Emily,

I recently started seeing a guy, and although his penis is magnificent and huge, it’s an even huger problem. I’m a petite woman, and so far sex with him has been very painful. I’ve managed to get through it multiple times, but I’m always incredibly sore afterward.

Is there anything I can do to lessen the pain, or is the fact his penis is too big something I’ll have to get used to?

Thanks,Penelope, 22

Dear Penelope,

Sex is not something you want to just get through—you want to enjoy it as much as possible! Although men are usually worried about their penis being too small, more women actually inquire about how to enjoy a larger-than-average member. Thankfully there are ways to maneuver around any penis size for a pleasurable experience, not a painful one.

Communicate

This guy doesn’t want to hurt you; he wants you to feel good during sex. Let him know that sex has been painful because he’s just so big. That way, you can work together on making things more enjoyable for the both of you (and it’ll stroke his ego a bit too).

Prepare With Foreplay

If you already engage in foreplay before you have sex, double up on it. The more time that is spent on you and your pleasure, the more aroused you’ll be, and the more your body will be ready to brave his beautiful penis. Even if wetness isn’t your issue, adding extra lubrication to the action for more comfort never hurts.

Assume the Position

The name of your game here is shallow thrusting positions. These will prevent him from hitting your cervix, which may be what’s causing you pain. The closer your legs are to each other, the less likely he’ll go too deep, making the Coital Alignment Technique (or CAT) position an excellent choice if you’re keen on missionary. Woman-on-top is also a great position because it puts you in control of how far he enters you, how you move, and at what speed.

Sex is supposed to be fun and pleasurable for all people involved, so you should never have to brace yourself to just "take it." Speak up, spend more time on foreplay, and work those positions. You’ll be ready to take on that magnificent member in no time.

xx, Emily

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