Oops, says Theresa May

Theresa May thinks she might have made an awful mistake.

The prime minister appears to have lost her parliamentary majority after taking the gamble of fighting a general election against an opponent she believed was even less popular than she is.

“Well, that didn’t quite go to plan, did it,” said a slumped Theresa May in her Maidenhead constituency, looking anything but strong and stable.

“Did you people not listen to me and my media friends when we repeatedly said that Jeremy Corbyn was completely unelectable? Why not? Was it my shoes?

“It’s almost as if me being like Cruella Deville without all the warmth has put the electorate off, when really you should have been lapping up every attack I made on Jeremy Corbyn.

“Or maybe you don’t actually want me negotiating Brexit on your behalf? I don’t know why you wouldn’t, I’ve explained to you repeatedly that Brexit means Brexit, so what more could you want?”

There has yet to be a formal comment from Labour HQ though sounds of laughing can be heard in the next street.