hopefulglimmer Sun 14-Apr-19 09:37:25

Before you all think I am setting myself unattainable heights in going after a god-like young and supple body, it's not that type of dance class. Its more a slightly 'out there' spiritual thing and the teacher is an ordinary middle aged guy and I am a ordinary middle aged woman.



But he seems kind, and god knows, I could do with some kindness from someone in my life. I have been ignoring my feelings because I thought no-one could ever like me, and after my last abusive relationship, the thought of having sex with a man again disgusted me for a long time. I thought that side of me was destroyed forever . But last night I had a lot of sexual thoughts all about him. So maybe that side of me isn't dead after all.



Should I try to take things further and if so how? I thought maybe I could get to the class early to chat before anyone else arrives - just to get to know him better and see if there might be something there?



Part of me thinks - oh don't even try - you'll just make a fool of yourself and you've probably nothing in common (I don't actually have any supernatural beliefs despite the fact that I like going to spiritual things). But another part thinks - why not try? Don't I deserve at least a chance at being happy with someone?



I don't even know why I am posting this. Maybe I just wanted to put somewhere that I feel slightly alive again for the first time in a long time.