SINGAPORE - After a day full of tense, international negotiations on the world stage, Kim Jong-un unwound by logging into TripAdvisor and tearing the Capella hotel to pieces. Overall Mr. Kim gave the luxury hotel 2 stars and said he would not recommend it to any associates.

“Dry-cleaning was overpriced, continental breakfast stopped serving too early, and there was no firing-squad-range suited for anti-aircraft weaponry. Will not be recommending to Putin!” wrote Mr. Kim.

The Capella staff immediately responded to Mr. Kim’s poor TripAdviser rating by responding on the popular travel site with the following statement.

“Mr. Kim, unfortunately due to the constraints of the luxury hotel business, we are not able to offer execution amenities. Would a late check-out improve your stay?"

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