Michael Cohen's best frenemy, Donald J. Trump, decided to no-call/no-show at work today and I bet you didn't even notice.

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NBC’s @HansNichols just mentioned that Trump has not yet come to work. He’s likely been watching TV in the residence all morning. — Ken Dilanian (@KenDilanianNBC) December 12, 2018

Less than 24 hours after being verbally pummeled in the Oval Office and sent to bed with no figgy pudding by Rep. Nancy Pelosi, the President seems to be so in his feelings that he's taking a mental health day to stew and watch TV.

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It's sort of telling that the President has the same work ethic as your teenage cousin who idolizes Post Malone and is barely employed at a banana stand. Trump is going to roll into the Oval Office tomorrow talking about, "I read the schedule wrong."

It takes a lot of gall to skip your job in your own house. John Kelly's knocking on the bedroom door like, "So... we're gonna go ahead and keep the country running if you want to join us." And Trump is like "No. Shan't!"

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Trump gave himself a summer Friday in the middle of the winter. He has not read the employee manual and he does not understand how PTO requests work.

Somebody please let the President know that just because he works from home does not mean he can ignore his Slack channel. He hasn't even Tweeted since early this morning. Ya boy is straight up snoozing. He has logged off. Trump was like "Self care, bish! Ever heard of it?"

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President Trump saw his buddy Mike Pence taking a nap in the Oval Office yesterday and he got envious. He was like, "If anybody's going to fall asleep on the job, it's me."

Should we be concerned that the job of President is one in which you can not show up for hours and nobody says anything? If you're 15 minutes late to your shift at Arby's, you get written up. No discussion.

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Look, I am not complaining that the President was absent without authorized leave. This is an improvement. Tell him to take the rest of the year off. Just, you know, call first. Do what everyone does: it's that thing where you make your voice sound real raspy and sad and cough a little bit as you leave your boss (the American people) a voicemail describing in vague detail how you think you've got a stomach bug or a cold and you're sure you'll be fine for tomorrow but you're going to take the day if that's okay. "I'll be on email if you need me," Donald Trump says before hanging up, blatantly lying like every other working adult, before climbing back into bed and turning on Netflix.

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R. Eric Thomas R Eric Thomas is a Senior Staff Writer at ELLE.com, home of his daily humor column "Eric Reads the News," which skewers politics, pop culture, celebrity shade, and schadenfreude.

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