THIS IS GONNA BESO AWESOME !

DO WE HAVEEVERYTHING ?

CHIPS, POP,COOKIES, KLEENEX,TOILET PAPER, FLARES--

WE WON'T HAVE TOLEAVE THE TV ROOMFOR ANYTHING !

ALRIGHT !

LOOK, IT'SALMOST TIME !

Up next on HBC,The Russell Crowe Show.

ALRIGHT,HERE WE GO !

( men singing )♪ BORN IN NEW ZEALANDIN '64 ♪

♪ A HOT-HEADED ACTORNAMED RUSSELL CROWE ♪

♪ HE LOVES TO ACT BUTHE LOVES ONE THING MORE ♪

♪ FIGHTIN''ROUND THE WORLD ♪

♪ HE FIGHTS HIS DIRECTORSAND HE FIGHTS HIS FANS ♪

♪ IT'S A PROBLEMNO ONE UNDERSTANDS ♪

♪ IF THERE'S TWO THINGS HE LOVESIT'S FIGHTING AND ♪

♪ FIGHTIN''ROUND THE WORLD ♪

♪ MAKING MOVIES,MAKING MUSIC AND ♪

♪ FIGHTIN''ROUND THE WORLD ♪♪

( man )RUSSELL CROWE !

HELLO, EVERYBODY,I'M RUSSELL CROWE.

AND THIS IS"FIGHTIN' 'ROUND THE WORLD".

WE'RE GONNA HAVELOTS OF FUN TODAY,

AS WE TRAVEL ALL AROUNDAND LOOK FOR SOME GOOD--

HEY ! WHAT THE HELL DO YOUTHINK YOU'RE DOIN' ?!

YOU WALKED RIGHT THROUGHMY SHOT, MATE !

DO YOU KNOWWHO I AM ?!!

OH, EXCUSE ME,I WAS JUST--

( thud, smack )

( Russell )Goddamn smartass !

You think you can--

SHELLY, WE'REWATCHING THAT, GO BACK !

SHUT UP, TURD,I'M WATCHING "BUFFY".

NO, SHELLY,WE HAVE TO WATCH HBC.

AGH !

GET UP !

GET UP,YA LITTLE PUSSY !

THE RUSSELL CROWESHOW ?!

YOU TURDS DON'T EVENLIKE THAT SHOW !

IT'S NOT THE SHOWWE CARE ABOUT.

DURING ONE OF THE COMMERCIALBREAKS OF TONIGHT'S EPISODE

THEY'RE GONNA SHOWTHE EXCLUSIVE, NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN TRAILER

TO THE NEW TERRANCEAND PHILLIP MOVIE !

IT'S THE BIGGESTNIGHT OF THE YEAR !

THAT'S STUPID.

SEE YOUR TURDY TRAILERSOME OTHER TIME.

BUT ALL THE OTHER KIDSARE GONNA WATCH IT

AND TALK ABOUT ITIN SCHOOL TOMORROW !

NO, TURDS.

SHELLY, DID I EVER TELL YOUHOW HOT I THINK YOU ARE ?

SHUT UP, FAT TURD !

I'M NOT A FAT TURD,I'M A STOCKY TURD !

WE'RE NOT WATCHING THIS.

COME ON !LOOK,I APOLOGIZE--

BUT SHELLY, IT'S THERUSSELL CROWE SHOW !

YOU ALWAYS SAID THERE'SNOTHING YOU LOVE MORETHAN RUSSELL CROWE.

THERE IS ONE THING I LOVEMORE THAN RUSSELL CROWE,

AND THAT ISSEEING YOU UNHAPPY.

SO BUFFY IT IS.

SHELLY, PLEASELET US WATCH !

WE'LL DO ANYTHING,ANYTHING !

ALRIGHT, I JUST STARTED MYPERIOD AND I NEED TAMPONS.

IF ONE OF YOU TURDSGO BUY THEM ATTHE STORE FOR ME,

YOU CAN WATCHYOUR STUPID TURD SHOW

WITH YOUR STUPID TURD MOVIECOMMERCIAL IN IT.

OKAY, DEAL.

THEN THEY BETTER BE HERE WHENI COME BACK DOWNSTAIRS, TURDS !

WELL THAT WAS A LOT OF FUN,WASN'T IT, KIDS ?

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE IF WE'REGONNA GET IN MORE FIGHTS,

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TOGO LOOK FOR 'EM !

DUDE, WHY'D YOUMAKE THAT DEAL ?

IF WE'RE OUT BUYING TAMPONSWE'LL MISS THE TRAILER ANYWAY !

YEAH !

WELL, ONLY ONE OF USHAS TO GO TO THE STORE,

THE OTHERSCAN WATCH.

YOU'D MISS THENEW TRAILER ?

DUDE, I'M NOT GOING.

ALRIGHT, WE'LL HAVETO PLAY FOR IT.

HOW ABOUT: IF YOUR NAME ISBUTTERS YOU HAVE TO GO.

OKAY, SO WHAT'SYOUR NAME ?

STAN.OKAY, WHAT'SYOUR NAME ?

KYLE.KYLE-- WHAT'SYOUR NAME ?

BUTTERS !

AWW, I LOSE,HUH ?

AWW, YEAH, BUTTERS,YOU LOSE.

SORRY, TOUGH BREAK.

JUST HURRY,BUTTERS,

YOU CAN PROBABLYMAKE IT BACK IN TIME

BEFORE THE FIRSTCOMMERCIAL BREAK.

OH, JESUS, I GOTTARUN LIKE THE WIND !

( Russell )That was a lot of fun,wasn't it, kids ?

DUDE, THANK GODFOR STUPID PEOPLE.

AMEN.

WHERE SHOULD WE GOFIGHT PEOPLE NEXT, TUGGA ?

( toots )MOOOOOOP.GREAT IDEA !

TUGGA THINKS WE SHOULD GO TOTHE FAR AWAY COUNTRY OF CHINA.

CHINA IS ONE OF THE OLDESTCIVILIZATIONS ON EARTH !

AND FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND,THEY LOVE A GOOD FIGHT !

SO LET'S GO !

MOOOOOOOP,MOOOOOOOP.

OH, MY GOD,IT'S RUSSELL CROWE !

OH, MY GOD,IT'S RUSSELL CROWE !

OH MY-- BLAH EHHEHHH EH EHHHH !!

WHY DON'T YOU MIND YOUROWN BUSINESS, YA SCROTUM !

( thud, thud )OW.

♪ MAKING MOVIES,MAKING SONGS ♪

♪ AND FIGHTIN''ROUND THE WORLD ! ♪

DUDE, WHY IS THIS GUY ALWAYSBEATING EVERYBODY UP ?

♪ WHAT A GLORIOUS DAYTO SPEND AWAY ♪

♪ FIGHTIN''ROUND THE WORLD ♪

( whistling )

WHAT'S WRONG WITHTHE COLORS ONYOUR TV, STAN ?

THEY'RE ALLSATURATED.

THEY LOOK FINE TO ME.

( whistling )

JUST DON'T MESSWITH IT, CARTMAN.

NO, NO, THE CABLE WIREMUST BE LOOSE.

JUST LEAVE IT ALONE.

DUDE, DO YOU WANT TO SEE THETERRANCE AND PHILLIP TRAILER

WITH MESSED UP COLORS ?

I DON'T.

HOW'S THAT ?

THAT'S WORSE !

OKAY, HOW ABOUTTHAT--

( poof )

DUDE !GODDAMMIT, CARTMAN,YOU BROKE IT !

IT WAS JUST--I JUST--

BUTTERS,YOU ASSHOLE !

DUDE, THE COMMERCIALSCOULD START ANY TIME !

I DON'T THINK WE'REWATCHING THEM ON THIS TV.

GODDAMMIT ! COME ON, WE CANWATCH IT OVER AT MY HOUSE !

GET ALL THE STUFF !

HEY, FELLAS !I GOT THE TAMPONS !

I DIDN'T MISS IT,DID I ?

WE'RE GOING TO KYLE'SHOUSE TO WATCH !

COME ON !OH, JEEZ !