Pinky: Gee, Brain. What are we going to do tonight? The Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.

Any fan of the show remembers these lines. They began each episode and were quickly followed by the scheme du jour — a fool proof plan for world domination.

Over nearly two decades across industries known for vast arrays of data, cutting edge technology, and analytic excellence — I have witnessed a similar, though annual occurrence.

Pinky: Gee, Brain. What are we going to do this year? The Brain: The same thing we do every year, Pinky. Ask for $40 Million to re-platform the data warehouse.

The ‘episode’ that follows the adjusted quote is not nearly as humorous, but typically ends with the same epic failures. Unintended consequences, fluke events, and odd mishaps inevitably lead to the fool proof plan’s demise. Only it takes a lot longer than 15 minutes, costs more to make, and rarely leaves you with a smile on your face. But just like The Brain, they will be back next episode to try it all again…

The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering Pinky: I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking… I mean, what would the children look like?

There are entire websites devoted to listing all of the ‘are you pondering…’ jokes from the series. They are a special sort of humor that was credited for allowing the show to survive in prime time and continue to have cult popularity today. Each week the question was the same and each week the answer was a very clever — No.

Sadly, this holds to our friends in data management, too. We are not pondering what you are pondering! Whether the ‘we’ here is marketing, sales, analytics, or operations. We are not thinking about the data, data warehouse, or even the business the same way you are. Many of us are not thinking about either of first two items at all. And this is a problem…

While we are busy pondering what we ponder; communication is breaking down, focus is lost, and wacky hi-jinx will soon unravel the master plan. But never fear, next year will bring a new budget and another opportunity.

The Brain: Come, Pinky, we must prepare for tomorrow night. Pinky: Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night. The Brain: Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!

And so, the episode comes to its predictable close. Roll the credits. And queue the closing theme song…

… One is a genius

The other’s insane…

Einstein defined insanity as ‘doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results’. And while it may be a bit of a shock to him, that means The Brain is insane. Of course, he doesn’t see it. Each of his elaborate plans for world domination is unique, novel, genius! Yes!

But then each year Data Management brings us new plans, methods, and technologies, too. In-Memory storage. Agile methodologies. Hadoop! But the elephant in the room (pun intended), it’s just déjà vu all over again.

So perhaps the last thing we can learn from our two creative laboratory mice, is to finally try a different approach. Or better yet, a different goal. Any fan of the show would surmise that Pinky was really unlikely to succeed at world domination either. But then that was never his goal…

Maybe our friends in data management should pattern themselves after Pinky. Focus on helping others succeed. Be innovative and creative. Stay positive and thoughtful. And remember that the smartest mouse in the cage is the one who actually achieves his goals, not the one acting cerebral and spouting vocabulary words…

Pinky was the genius… Narf!