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The producer of the Sevenoaks panto has brilliantly hit back at a resident who complained there were "too many black people" in the cast.

Box office staff at the Stag Theatre in London Road took a call today from a person they call "Mr Smith" from "somewhere in Sevenoaks".

He was ringing to complain about the cast of Sleeping Beauty – which includes famous faces such as EastEnders' Ricky Norwood, who played Fatboy, and hit girl group Cleopatra – and claimed the cast "is not representative of Sevenoaks".

So producer Jamie Wilson, who runs the Sevenoaks pantomime season with company Magic Beans, penned a furious and ironic response as an open letter to the complaint.

He first posed the question: "How many black people is too many?" and answered, "But now you've got us thinking, and we need some advice. Is one black performer ok? Two? Is it just five that tips you over the edge?"

Mr Wilson continued to ask how the comments could affect the black female dancers in the cast: "What will your complaint say to those young girls, Mr Smith? How should we explain to them that no-one has ever complained about having too many white actors in the pantomime?"

He questioned whether "sir" further wanted the producers to "check for homosexuals" and wondered if a man wearing a dress will bother him.

And he reminded "Mr Smith" that in fact, "Pantomime isn't British", and asked of of Sevenoaks, "Is that what we are as a town?"

But he signed off with a line clearly summarising the Stag's stance on the matter: "Finally, I understand you told the box office you wouldn't be booking your tickets Mr Smith. And we think that's probably for the best."

Read Jamie Wilson's perfect response in full below

"An open letter to 'Mr Smith', of 'somewhere in Sevenoaks'"

"The Stag Theatre box office team took a call today from – let's call him 'Mr Smith', of, 'somewhere in Sevenoaks'. He was calling to complain about an article he'd seen in Sevenoaks District Council's 'In Shape Magazine', about the pantomime season at the Stag Theatre.

"The article introduced the cast of Sleeping Beauty, and talked about the education programme we are taking into Sevenoaks schools, prior to the run of the show, this November.

"Mr Smith's complaint was, in a nutshell, that there are too many black people in the cast.

"The box office team, who took the call, even tried to reassure him that there are indeed plenty of white people in the show too.

"His reaction: 'Yes, but there are still five of them.'

"Mr Smith left his name and asked for someone to respond. As producers of the show, we would like to respond, with a question to Mr Smith…

"How many black people is too many?"

"This is the Stag's eighth year of professional pantomime, and it happens that we've never had an 'all white' cast of principals in a pantomime. We are proud to say that our diverse mix of casting has previously included Michelle Gayle, Nate James, Andy Abraham, Ben Ofoedu, and Jasette Amos, and this year Ricky Norwood, and the three sisters from Cleopatra.

"All talented performers and good friends. But now you've got us thinking, and we need some advice. Is one black performer ok? Two? Is it just five that tips you over the edge?

"This year, of the hundreds of young dancers who auditioned to perform in the show, we feel we need to warn you; two or three of the girls we cast are black. Should we tell them they can't be in the panto now, or can we just split them up, so we don't have more than one black girl on stage at any one time? What will your complaint say to those young girls, Mr Smith?

"How should we explain to them that no-one has ever complained about having too many white actors in the pantomime? We need some clarification from you on what the maximum allowable quota is, before we proceed.

"Another question sir...

"Do you need me to check for homosexuals?"

"It's showbiz, so there are bound to be one or two gays in the cast, right? Our Prince is ginger, the King is from Wales, and one of the men will be wearing a dress. Are these issues we should be looking into for you?

"The problem is that pantomime is a British institution, isn't it Mr Smith. And having five 'ethnic minorities' in the show, is just not British."

"Except pantomime isn't British."

"The word pantomime can be traced back to Ancient Greece. It's stock characters come from Italian Commedia dell'arte, which then travelled through France, eventually landing on our shores an an exotic 'foreign' entertainment. Most of the source material for the fairytales we tell in pantomime come from the Brothers Grimm – German – Charles Perrault – French – and this year's Sleeping Beauty is also heavily influenced by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, a Russian, and Walt Disney, worse still, American.

"Mr Smith, you mentioned to the Box Office staff that you felt our cast is not representative of Sevenoaks."

"How would you like us to represent Sevenoaks?"

"All the 'middle aged bankers' are too busy with the daily commute to take five weeks out to star in panto, so we've had to make do with Ricky Norwood, who as well as spending six years playing one of the best loved characters in the biggest soaps on UK television, has spent years in live theatre, with credits including the Royal National Theatre and a West End musical.

"Fairywise, we struggled to find three 'yummy mummies' with the vocal and physical strength to deliver 18 shows a week, so we were forced to compromise by casting Cleopatra, a pop trio who have had their own tv sitcom, sung for the Pope, and supported the Spice Girls and Madonna. Their lead singer is currently on the world tour of Thriller Live. I mean she's black, but I guess she can sing a bit.

"Casting a baddie was tricky, Sevenoaks wise, maybe it would have been best to find a 'little old lady'? But they can't cope with the choreography, and they never remember their lines.

"We're stuck with Jasette Amos, who is returning for her fourth Sevenoaks panto, and up to now has felt welcomed and loved by the town. She has performed for everyone from David Cameron to Prince Charles, been on stadium tours with Basement Jaxx and has just wrapped the shoot on her first feature film. Maybe we should have held out for someone with a 'blue rinse'? Would you have been happier with that Mr Smith? Would that have been more representative of Sevenoaks?"

"Is that what we are as a town?"

"I'm worried Mr Smith – next year we might do Snow White. How many dwarfs would be representative of Sevenoaks? Surely not seven, as you hardly ever see one in the Chequers?

"This year's pantomime is Sleeping Beauty. It isn't actually set in Sevenoaks, so it hadn't occurred to us to try and 'represent' the town in our casting. Our aim has been to work with the most talented performers we can find, tell a story in the most magical way we can, and produce the best possible pantomime for our audiences each year.

"Luckily, so far, we're grateful to the 9,000 people have booked their tickets for Sleeping Beauty. I understand you told the box office you wouldn't be booking your tickets Mr Smith. And we think that's probably for the best."

You can find tickets for Sleeping Beauty here