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Promoted from the diaries by streiff. Promotion does not imply endorsement.

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This week’s edition of the culture wars has a theme- jerky Democrats. Theoretically, this could be any week of the year.

BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS “RESISTANCE” LIKE BYPASSING A STARBUCKS

Eric Swalwell (D-CA) was in New York City recently when he started to jones for a cup of java. Considering there is a Starbucks at every corner in the Big Apple, he decided to pass up one because it happened to be in Trump Tower. Why? Of course, he explained the reason in truly epic stupid tweet and selfie: “It’s snowing in New York. I need coffee. The closest cafe is inside Trump Tower. This is me walking to an alternative.” Because nothing says “principle” like walking an extra block to the next Starbucks and posting it on Twitter.

SORTA BLACK PRESIDENTIAL WANNA BE TRIES TO SCORE SOME BLACK CRED AND FAILS

In an effort to show the American public that she really is black (her father is Jamaican; mother is Indian, as in from India), Kamala Harris (D-CA) noted that while in college she often listened to some gangsta rap like Tupac Shakur and Snoop Dog. One problem: she graduated in 1989 from college while Tupac’s first record came out in 1991 and Snoop Dog in 1993. Apparently, Ms. Harris did the time warp…

THE MOST PRESSING PROBLEM FACING DETROIT FINALLY ADDRESSED

Detroit evidently has an annual pub crawl tradition held on May 4th called the Tacos and Tequila Crawl. Enter Congresscritter Tlaib (D-MI), she of “motherf***er” fame, calling on One Michigan to protest this obvious case of cultural appropriation. Her attention was brought to this daunting urban problem by a Latina Detroit Councilwoman. The city known for its vacant houses and flight of businesses and jobs is now reconsidering the event altogether.

SAVE THE PLANET: STOP HAVING KIDS

AOC is known for some stupid things, but she may have hit yet another low. Harping on her New Green Deal nonsense, she claims the world is reaching its tipping point and that young people should seriously reconsider having children. That’s right! Save the planet by depleting the species. Now if only her mother and father had thought about that about 31 years ago…

JOE BIDEN LIVES THE ROCK STAR LIFESTYLE

Rock stars, when they perform, are notorious for including riders on their contracts which specify certain things. For example, Pearl Jam requires a certain number of loaves of bread and particular vegetables and fruits for use in their personal juicer. Joe Biden, out hawking his latest book, received $150,000 for one recent speaking engagement. On the rider, he requested a meal of angel hair pomodoro (whatever the hell that is), a Caprese salad, and raspberry sorbet along with assorted sodas, specifically orange Gatorade, and black coffee.

DEMOCRATS ARE SO TALENTED THEY CAN EAT SALAD WITH A COMB

Amy Klobuchar (D-MN) is known for berating her staff. As the New York Times reports, on one trip in 2008 she ordered a salad. Once on the plane, the bad news was delivered: the poor sod dropped the eating utensils. After berating the aid, Klobuchar did what any normal human would do and brought out a comb and ate her salad with it after which she ordered the offending aid to clean her newfound eating utensil. Come on… you have to admit it: anyone who could use a comb to eat a salad after it has been through your hair repeatedly has what it takes to be President. Let’s see Trump top that one!

SPARTACUS STRIKES AGAIN

Speaking on a recent podcast, Cory Booker (D-NJ) recently said that if you are going to be born poor today, the United States is not the country where you would want to be born. Supposedly, this somehow ties in with the collapse of the American Dream and such. However, considering the fact that this country has the richest poor people, one has to wonder what, in the view of Booker, is the preferred country? Rwanda? Venezuela? Perhaps, Wakanda? It may not be the country to be born in if you are poor, but it sure seems to be the country that poor people want to immigrate to- legally and illegally. And this dope seriously wants to be the next president?