Why ISPs Like Verizon Are Likely Ripping Off Your Older Parents

If you're the one tasked with being tech support for your aging parents, you're probably intimately familiar with this sort of conversation:

"Mom what’s your password?"

"I don’t know"

Installing update 1 of 231.

"Foxfire"

"It worked until you touched it last year"

And so forth.

Windows 10 and OS X have done a better job of taking care of themselves than their predecessors. The family computer situation has certainly improved with the inclusion of auto-updates and basic anti-viral mechanisms. It’s not yet flawless (as evident by a large market for computer repair) but it’s on the uptrend. Unfortunately, while the rise of home assistants, online bill paying and internet of things devices are great for the tech savvy, they're a new type of hell for those of us tasked with family customer support.

The same person who had 31 toolbars in IE 6 a couple years ago now wants to YouTube the Twitter like the kids do. Aka -- your mom. She doesn’t know what Netflix is or how to get there, but she wants to watch some damn murder mysteries. For anyone whose parents have ever bought a wide screen 1080p TV and a new VCR player (true story) this is a strange new world around them.

Long gone has the era of most inboxes being clogged up with constant spam and getting a drive-by virus every other week by just looking up recipes. The new computer boogieman tends to originate with a more familiar source: your ISP. Mom and dad need to start checking their cable and internet bill on a routine basis. Again (AT&T / DirectTV) and again (CenturyLink) and again (Comcast) and again (Cox) and again (Frontier) and again (Time Warner Cable) and again (Verizon) last year service providers are running into legal troubles due to their awful billing practices.

Nickel And Dimed

This entire scenario started when mom asked me why is her “internet bill” is so high compared to what is advertised on TV.

My mom lives in Verizon FiOS territory and has subscribed since 2009. I explained that new offers are generally lower to get people on board and locked into contracts. It’s a game where most people won’t switch since that takes effort and just eat the price increase for the sake of convenience. The standard definition of price creep. She then showed me a bill three times the size of an advertised package.

This made me curious. So I began to take a closer look at Verizon's billing.

Let’s start at the front page of Verizon and see if we can find anything on the public facing internet. If you work at certain areas there are feeder programs where your employer can offer you a discount for other companies services. Here is the lowest offer I could find for a new Verizon customer on their website: $70 a month for gb fios, free multi-room DVR, tv, and phone for two years. Sounds great if you can get it. Then it goes up to who knows what because you can’t find it on their site anywhere. That’s not exactly a new problem for most people attracted by the low price.

I ask mom her to log into the Verizon site.

“Mom what’s your password?” - “I don’t know”

Verizon Math

After getting mom logged into the site (and to the surprise of no one she still sends checks) the actually pretty useful dashboard shows she owes $170.28. There is no breakdown of costs so let’s dig around and view the bill.

There is an option to generate PDF copy of the bill. It seems she is getting authentic discounts already (somehow) or Verizon is using a high-low pricing strategy in this market.

Scrolling down in the PDF we get to more details.

Verizon knows exactly what it’s doing. They hire the best to figure out how to add 31% more to an advertised priced and not get sued for false advertising. Mom is on the hook for $20 in set top boxes, a router fee, but with a $10 discount so there is a 16.2% upcharge. I’ll give them some credit. We only have $27.51 in non-advertised unavoidable bullshit monthly fees.

Okay we see what we’re paying and where it’s going so let’s hunt for more specifics. Mom is in a triple play so she has TV, Internet, and Phone. Let's take a look at each bundle component, one at a time, and see if there's any way to actually save my mom some money.

Trying to Lower Mom's TV Bill

Trying to Lower Mom's Phone Bill

Either she has the best deal, a legacy price, or Verizon’s new packages really suck. My favorite part? According to Verizon's logic, for $2 a month less she can lose 315 channels. Okay no changes here.Next up, taking a look at the company's phone service options in the quest to lower my mom's bill. The phone button isn’t really helpful for pricing but I did find something of interest in combating the ever growing problem of robocalls : Nomorobo intergration. I remember this service from a few years ago. The owner recently did a AMA on Reddit for those interested. Let’s do it.

Like other such offerings, Verizon's website simply dumps you off to Nomorobo's website, where you create an account. You're then redirected back to Verizon's digital voice account manager.

After filling in whatever it wants and linking the accounts it does a simultaneous ring to some 866 number. Hopefully this helps with the robocall spam. Props to Verizon for having this integration.

I still want to see the phone section though. Services -> Add Change Plan. You’re greeted by a big upsell banner. Sorry stock model, we want to *reduce* costs. It’s tax cut season!

However something noteworthy is on that page to the top right.Verizon Math™ is at it again. When did $142.77 become $172.77, which at the end of the day the real number out of the bank account is $170.28? Just search our forums for “Verizon Billing”. Billing has to have a random number generator in there somewhere. Whereever these numbers are being pulled from is not true so I chuckle to myself and keep going.

Finding the phone plan you get one choice. Here’s your shiny new phone.

Trying to Lower Mom's Broadband Bill

Okay the last bastion of self service hope -- looking for a better internet deal!

According to Verizon's website, options for trying to lower mom's broadband bill are pretty much a wash. I like how we can downgrade 25mb both ways for free. I suspect mom has a grandfathered deal or more high-low pricing shenanigans. We also did learn that the magic special from the beginning *could* be a $55 per month discount. We don’t really know and Verizon's website makes it very difficult to figure that out.

A closer look at individual broadband packages doesn't present any real money saving opportunities, so let's dig deeper. What are the current subscriber deals?

Historically ISPs offer big discounts to new customers and existing customers get nothing. In Verizon’s case the deals page if you are a new subscriber is cheap rainbows and unicorns. If you are an existing customer you are forced to log into your account.

Let’s get started! We are presented with a massive list of “Special Deals!” which really aren’t that special. It’s all upselling. The Quantum router upgrade got my attention even though mom doesn’t have a Quantum package.Will this increase mom’s speed? Of course not. It’s probably just has a slightly better Wi-Fi radio. They just want to sell you more expensive equipment for no real benefit. Pretty slimy.This graphic bothers me for two reasons so I’ll highlight a point with MS Paint. 2.5ghz has a wavelength of 12cm whereas 5ghz is at 6cm. Is the more detailed wider dark green area supposed to be the bigger wave length (the copy says its slower) or is it supposed to represent more throughout? If it’s slower, why is more attention being put on the “worse,” “slower” frequency? What’s the point of upgrading then? The facts and implied statement of the big green stripe don’t add up. Everyone knows racing stripes equals more speed. Get your stuff together technology clueless advertising group.

The other thing that ruffles my jimmies is of course, the first dual band router was released in July of 2011 and is essentially a standard on even the cheapest, junkiest $24 router today. In reality for the end user with today’s consumer speeds, both bands essentially offer the same thing. 2.4ghz has a little extra range and with 5ghz, the option for extra channels is useful in crowded urban areas. BUT DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE ANIMATED RACING STRIPES? This is how moms end up paying for more stuff they don’t need: racing stripes.

It looks like we can do nothing on our own so let’s do it the old fashion way -- let’s talk to someone via chat since there is a written record.

After a couple seconds waiting and verifying account holder name, account number, address, and a PIN pushed to my moms phone we got to negotiate with “Hanson”. After Hanson looked at the account, pointed me to the deals page, and then the bundles page we come up with nothing except for 25 minutes of wasted time. I then presented the magic words : "Comcast is offering a much better deal and my parents are interested in going with that." After a brief pause and checking with the manager, they were able to apply a $5 monthly discount which will start on the next bill with a shiny confirmation number. While Verizon is giving everything from the tax cut to the shareholders, you have to actively try to get a piece of the action for yourself or for your mom.

In conclusion

I learned several important lessons in my quest to try and save my mom some money:

• Billing math is intentionally complex, confusing, and downright misleading.

• Your monthly bill is probably unique.

• Check for corporate affiliate discounts.

• Price creep is real -- but you can fight back. Sometimes.

• You can often negotiate your monthly fees in your favor.

• Don’t expect much help from the website however talking to humans is the way to go.

•If you want to try to dance with your provider, let us know how you did in the comment section below.