My head is all over the place.

I will try to keep this coherent, but no guarantees. I am so frustrated by Rachel and her new “fiance”. I am so angry at them for the choices they continue to make. I know, Rachel should be the only one making choices in regards to Harper, but I refer to them as “they” because apparently, she listens exclusively to Kyle now in regards to what to do with MY daughter.

I will try to keep this as calm as possible, but again, no guarantees.

They won’t let me see her. They won’t even let me talk to her on the phone. They are saying that we have to go through the courts first before I can ever see her again. I am so beyond livid. I am not going to hold back in terms of what is going on now. I have tried to keep the personal details out of this blog from what she has done to me, but no longer.

I buy them groceries for Harper (I am sure they eat/use most of them, and Harper only gets some), and I bring them these groceries. They don’t have a vehicle anymore because it got repossessed. So I drive 40 minutes EACH way just to see my daughter (when they’d actually let me). And I even bring them groceries, because apparently they are always “broke”. The last time I saw my daughter (Sunday), I even left them groceries for her. And since then they have started to deny me even being able to talk to her.

I am so irritated at them. Beyond irritated. I hate the choices they are making. This is not the first time they have done this. They have continually gone back and fourth (in a bi-polar kind of way) in regards to if I can even see Harper or not. One time they said I could come pick her up, so I drove all the way down there to get her. When I showed up they had changed their mind and even called the police on me because I had showed up and knocked on their door to pick Harper up. It is these kinds of actions that makes me truly worry about Harper and what else is going on.

Another thing: a couple of days ago Rachel admitted to me that she had had two separate affairs during the time we were together and married. Behind my back. She indicated she wanted to “clear the skeletons from the closet”, but I think she just wanted to pour more salt in the already open wound that is my heart. I heard that one of these lasted quite a long time. Another source indicated that I have reason to believe I need to go be tested for an STD, because of Rachel’s (selfish/poor/horrible) decisions during our marriage. These two affairs are in addition to the one she had right before she left me. She left me to move in with Kyle but told me she had been having an affair with him for the month she knew him before she left me.

So technically, three affairs.

I’ll be honest with you. I don’t really give a shit what Rachel did or does now, but what I DO care about is seeing my daughter. I want to spend time with my daughter and help her grow up to be an incredible young woman, like her mother used to be when I first met her. I feel bad for Kyle (her fiance?), because I don’t think he understands fully what he’s gotten himself into.

Some of you probably will say that putting this laundry out to dry is a bad idea, that I am being a bit of a jerk for even writing it. I don’t really care. I am so sick of how she is acting and she has pushed me to the point that anything that happens, I am going to let the world know. I have more things I could say, but I need to have proof first before I go down that rabbit hole.

All I want is to see my daughter. It’s been three days now. And I miss her more than I ever thought possible.

I applied at about 10 places yesterday. Doing more today. Still no place to live, and no leads. I am working on that as much as possible. And I am trying to find a pro bono lawyer to help me in my struggles with Rachel. If anyone has any leads on these things let me know.

Here’s my GoFundMe if you’d like to help that way.

I hope that maybe next week I will have something better or nicer to say. But for now all I am filled with is anger and disappointment.

Cheers,

-t

For questions/inquiries/to contact me, you can email me at: Topher@MondayFace.com