An excerpt from The Beaverton Presents Glorious and/or Free: The True History of Canada. Available where books are sold.

November 12, 1981

143 KM ABOVE THE EARTH – In a move that has further escalated tension between Prime Minister and the West, Pierre Trudeau has ordered that NASA’s Canadarm extend the robotic arm’s middle finger every time it orbits over the province of Alberta.

Canadarm’s Bird 1 on board the Columbia Space Shuttle was fully extended for the first time by US and British astronauts during the 21.3 seconds it passed over the prairie province.

Trudeau argued that the move was part of a symbolic message that he wanted to send to Albertans that provincial revenues and control on natural resources belong to the federal government and that Albertans should “go fuck themselves.”

Observing from a powerful telescope, Alberta Premier Peter Lougheed muttered to himself “that son-of-a-bitch” before instructing provincial officials to cut oil production again.

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