Even with Toddlers, It’s the Thought that Counts

A reassuring new study finds that even in toddlers, intentions matter more than actions.

If you’re a parent, you probably get bummed if you promise something to your child but can’t come through with it—a Zhou Zhou pet, for instance, or a Tickle-Me Elmo back in the day. And while your child might be a little disappointed that he’s not unwrapping his top request, you don’t need to worry about him thinking badly of you for it: a new study says that even toddlers are able to recognize good intentions in others, and will help people who’ve tried to help them, even if the attempt failed.

In the study from Queen’s University, researchers performed a series of three experiments with 16 toddlers and two actresses to see how the toddlers would react to different behaviors. In one of the experiments, one of the actresses would deliberately refuse to give a child a toy. The other actress would attempt to pass the toy, but accidentally push it out of reach.

When the tables were turned and the actresses asked for the children’s help, 75 percent of them assisted the one who had tried to pass over a toy, even though she’d been unsuccessful. None of them helped the other actress.

So even though the first actress hadn’t actually helped them, they’d realized that she was trying to do something kind, and returned the favor anyway. The study seems to illustrate that intentions are more powerful than actions, even for young children.

“This is the first time anyone has demonstrated that children this young can be selective in their helping,” said Kristen Dunfield, a doctoral student in psychology involved with the study. “Before that, we just knew children helped, and that they helped a lot. In this case, the helpfulness didn’t really change - what changed was who the child was distributing that helpfulness to.”