Late-night hosts on Flynn turning on Trump: 'Well, it feels like Christmas is here'

Late-night hosts reveled in Robert Mueller’s closing net on Donald Trump, and criticized the shoddiness of Friday’s Republican tax bill.

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On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert giddily responded to the news that Michael Flynn was cooperating with the investigation into Trump’s ties with Russia. “Well, it feels like Christmas is here, courtesy of Robert Mueller coming down the White House chimney with a sack full of subpoenas,” he said.

Flynn, Trump’s former national security adviser, has not only admitted that he lied to the FBI but has agreed to provide information about any other guilty parties within the White House. “Flynn is turning on his old friends,” Colbert said. “It’s like the old saying goes: ‘Snitches get significant time off their federal prison sentences.’”

The host then brought up Jared Kushner, who allegedly ordered Flynn to make contact with the Russians. “That three-star general must have been honored to get orders from a no-star son-in-law,” he said.

The moves made by Flynn were initiated before the Republicans had taken back hold of the White House. “You’re not supposed to make policy until you’re the people in office,” he said. “We only have one president at a time. Back then it was Obama, now it’s Vladimir Putin.”

Colbert also joked about Trump’s inability to keep quiet on the subject with a series of damning tweets. “It’s like when you’re trying to get out of one lie, and you accidentally tell a much worse lie,” he said.

Trump’s lawyer John Dowd took ownership of the most problematic tweet, where the president claimed he knew Flynn lied to the FBI, saying that he had drafted and sent it. “I certainly hope John Dowd has a lawyer who’s a lot better than John Dowd,” he said.

The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) Trevor looks at the last minute adds to the GOP tax bill that finally gives millionaires a break. https://t.co/85DBwSwAq5 pic.twitter.com/oC12v2mGtx

On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah spoke about the rushed tax bill, filled with illegible handwritten additions. “You know what’s interesting, is that most of these senators finished this tax bill the same way I finish my exam after the teacher says pens down,” he said.

After summarizing the main tenets of the bill, Noah joked: “Well, all I can say is: people who decided to be rich rather than poor – good call!”

Noah then looked at some of the wildest parts of the bill, helping those with extreme wealth. “If you’re flying your kids to their private school on your personal jet from your golf-course winery, then your problems are finally over,” he said.

Finally, he took one more jab at both the bill’s shoddy nature and the leaning toward richer Americans. “The odds are that they’ll finally get it done, which means Republicans will finally achieve their two big dreams: helping the nation’s neediest millionaires, and, of course, getting Americans the [illegible handwritten note] atterrisabuah that they deserve,” he said.

On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host looked back at Trump’s history of conflicting statements about Michael Flynn. “Trump loves to give these weird two-part answers,” he said. “Here’s one answer and here’s another answer for when you find out the first answer was a lie. It’s like saying: ‘I have a girlfriend who lives in Canada, and also there’s nothing wrong with not having a girlfriend’.”

He similarly joked about John Dowd’s ill-conceived tweet and Dowd then saying that he’s out of the tweeting business. “Are you also out of the lawyer business?” Meyers said.

He then looked at the tax bill and the poor quality of the handwritten amendments. “Senators should be able to read the bill,” he said. “The only justification for handwriting that messy is if the bill was so depressing, they had a doctor write a prescription for Zoloft on it.”

He continued: “This is a bill that could affect almost every aspect of American life and senators are reading it like Nic Cage finding a secret message on the back of the constitution.”