We have a polite request to therapists, clinicians and other people work with out kids out there.

There seems to be a trend out there that has irked us for some time now. Actually, it’s been bugging us for a while now, but this was the first time we had the opportunity to say something about it. Have you noticed that therapists, teachers and other people who work with your kid have taken to calling you Mom and Dad? I know this may sound a little nit-picky, but there is so much contained in a name. Parents who deal with autism have enough to deal with already. We face off monthly, weekly and sometimes daily against a juggernaut of a bureaucracy that is monumentally unforgiving. It can strip you of your dignity, your identity and make you feel like a number. Add to that, feelings of failure and self-loathing that we tend to pile upon ourselves that can lead to depression. More times than not, we have to fight for everything our kids need to get through life. We know you have no intent to harm us. We also know that we are just one of a dozen or more clients that you deal with every day and resources are limited. But on this one issue we encourage you to spare the time and energy. There have been many times in our lives that you are the only adult contact we have. We can tell you that it makes a difference when you don’t hear your name and instead a generic moniker, like Mom or Dad.

So, to all teachers, therapists, vice principals, coaches et al please take this in the spirit of friendship and good will – if I’m not paying for your wedding or your college education, we’re not your Mom or Dad. If you’re feeling formal you can call us Mr. or Mrs. Areffi but on most days, Melissa & Andy will do just fine. In return, we promise to not call you Mr. Therapist or Ms. Vice Principal.

Oh, one more thing, and we’ll follow our own rule too. To everyone who works with our kids:

Carla Miller, vice principal

Ms. Green, special ed teacher

Ms. McNeeley, general ed teacher

Anne Marie, therapist

Nadine, therapist

Molly, therapist

Jennifer, therapist

Paula, therapist

Yagnesh, therapist

thank you for everything you do for our kids. We know that it’s not something you hear often enough from us parents. We will try and remember to say it more often.