A tiara, two stuffed goats, and a notebook made to look like an old VHS tape of Beauty and the Beast; these are just a few of the mementos Margaret, 18, from just outside Albany, New York, has left to remember 22-year-old Jordan Cofer, who was killed in the August 4 mass shooting in Dayton, Ohio. Her room is full of his things, a sign of the generosity and love for friends that she says defined his personality and life. (Margaret requested that Teen Vogue not use her last name out of concern for her privacy.)

Following the shooting that killed Cofer, leaving nine others dead and 27 injured, national TV and news outlets reported that the shooter’s “sister” was among those slain in the massacre. But Margaret says that “sister” was actually a brother — because Cofer was a trans man, as Splinter News first reported last week. (There is no indicator at this time that his gender identity was a motivating factor in his killing.)

Now, some loved ones are fighting to remember Cofer as who they say he really was: a sweet, caring young man.

“Jordan hated being misgendered,” Margaret tells Teen Vogue. “[His old name] made him feel dysphoric. It made him feel bad [about] himself. I don’t think he’d prefer to be called ‘Jordan’ on the news; I know he would.”

Though Cofer was not widely out to those in his small, conservative Dayton suburb, including his family, he had many friends online and all over the country who knew his real identity. Multiple friends have confirmed this. News outlets have also uncovered multiple social media accounts with Cofer’s photo and name, and Teen Vogue found a 2017 Tumblr post where Jordan is tagged in a photo showing what appears to be the same person depicted in initial news reports of his death. In the bio of the tagged account, Cofer identifies himself as a “transboy with a loving heart and way too much work to do.”

Cofer’s brother, the shooter, did follow him on Twitter and, friends say, knew of his use of the name “Jordan.” Cofer had tweeted at his brother’s account just hours before the shooting. However, Margaret says Jordan told his family the name was an internet alias to protect his identity — that’s the explanation he’d offer to his parents when packages arrived at the house with that name on it.

Margaret told Teen Vogue she met Cofer over Tumblr almost three years ago, and they’d flown out to meet each other multiple times since then. They even spent a week together at Disney World during New Year’s Eve this past January, and briefly dated during that time. After they broke up, they remained close friends who liked the same bands, talked about witchcraft, and frequently fell asleep together while talking on the phone. She said they had been chatting less than 24 hours before Jordan left for Ned Peppers Bar in Dayton, Ohio, with his older brother and a mutual friend on the day of the shooting.

Cofer’s gender identity has been subject of a press release by the Human Rights Campaign and has been covered by or mentioned in reporting by Splinter News, BuzzFeed, and HuffPost. But many mainstream news sources that reported on the incident before Splinter’s report came out did not issue updates or corrections related to Cofer’s gender identity. This is just the latest example in a long line of the press misgendering or using the deadnames and incorrect pronouns for trans murder victims, especially trans women of color.