Golriz Ghahraman says she normalised abuse and that society needs to help victims see the warning signs

This article is more than 1 year old

This article is more than 1 year old

A New Zealand MP has spoken of an abusive relationship in which her partner attempted to strangle her, and welcomed parliament passing legislation tackling domestic violence.

The Family Violence (Amendments) Act makes non-fatal strangulation a new offence that carries a maximum penalty of seven years in prison.

Other amendments include coercion to marry becoming a separate offence, assault on a family member becoming a separate offence, and amendments to the Evidence Act that allow victims of family violence to give evidence via video recordings.

Greens MP Golriz Ghahraman was trapped in a violent relationship and escaped only after changing her phone number and address, and with the support of friends. Ghahraman said the new law would help women recognise the seriousness of being the victim of a strangulation attempt, and hopefully encourage them to ask for help.

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“When I look back I think ‘you just don’t let yourself admit that it’s so serious’,” says Gharaman. “You kind of see it as a package of ‘it’s passionate’ and there’s that message of toxic masculinity where you go ‘oh jealousy is just normal for boys’ and then it escalates from there.”

Gharaman said the isolation and secrecy of being in a violent relationship meant many women failed to report a strangulation incident, or recognise what an escalation in abuse and danger it represented.

“Sometimes you just kind of need society to help you recognise that these things are really serious and dangerous – you do need these indicators and messages from broader society to tell you that some things are criminal,” the MP said.

New Zealand has one of the worst rates of family violence in the OECD, with police attending a family violence incident every four minutes, and 80% of incidents going unreported.

The latest data from the Ministry of Justice shows about 1 million New Zealanders, or 23% of the population, are directly affected by family violence every year.

Research has found being strangled by a partner is an especially strong signal of escalating abuse, and leads to a seven-fold increase in the risk of being murdered by your partner. Strangulation attempts are frequently missed by police and health workers because there can be no obvious or immediate injuries.

Jan Logie, the parliamentary under-secretary responsible for domestic and sexual violence issues said that before the amendment strangulation attempts weren’t being consistently prosecuted, and some women who were murdered by their partners had been subject to strangulation attempts at least once before the fatal action.

“We ultimately hope that this will prevent deaths. We actually want to save lives here,” said Logie, who used to work for a women’s refuge.

Half of all homicides in New Zealand are family violence-related. Between 2009 and 2015 there were 194 family violence deaths. Of those involving partners, 98% had a recorded history of abuse of a woman by a male partner.

Around the world various jurisdictions are beginning to introduce separate offences for non-fatal strangulation, including Queensland in Australia, and 47 states in the US.