During a recent chilly night at home, 23-year-old Phoebe Murphy cupped a full mug of hot cocoa while secretly thinking about Academy Award winner Rachel Weisz banging her into oblivion.

“I just don’t understand how she’s gotten so much hotter as she’s gotten older,” she thought, before resuming a fantasy in which Weisz wordlessly cornered her in the upstairs room of a large home and pleasured her into a quivering puddle of her former self. “It must be some sort of skin regimen.”

Bundled up in her little reading nook and draped in cashmere throws, Phoebe continued to imagine a certain enchantress of the stage and silver screen ripping the ugly-ass blankets to shreds as she drove her straight to pound-town.

“This is self-care if I’ve ever seen it,” she thought, before quickly resuming daydreaming about Rachel Weisz’s character in “The Favourite” going down on her for hours and hours. “I might start doing this all the time.”

In the future, Phoebe plans on slipping on a pair of knitted arm warmers and drinking some tea while thinking about Weisz’s extensive period work, which almost always involves black lace.

“I might mix it up though,” Phoebe pondered. “I do love Mexican hot chocolate.”

“I also really loved Rachel Weisz in The Mummy,” she added to the thought, before immediately pivoting to thinking about getting aggressively pummeled by the actress.

Although Phoebe knows that she has to focus on other things, she just cannot get her mind off the idea of being ravished by the three-time Golden Globe nominee.

“I’m gonna have to stop eventually and do something else with my free time,” she thought. “But for now, I’m just going to make chocolate chip cookies from scratch and paint my nails while picturing those stunning, angular cheekbones…just barely grazing my thighs. Whew!”