Chapter Text

Meg had not, thank god, peeked into Elsa's bedroom on her way down the hall. Anna caught up to her in the kitchen, looking through cupboards. “I believe you mentioned coffee?” said Meg, eyebrow raised expectantly.

“Nnno, I didn't mention coffee. You mentioned coffee, then you barged in and then you started going through the cupboards like a…well, I don't know like what, but you just don't do that!”

“Aw, you're sweet. Of course, you would be. How about I sit quietly with my hands in my lap and you go ahead and offer me a mug? Hey, where is Elsa, anyway?”

Keep her busy. “Um, all we've got is instant. Is that okay?”

Meg sat sideways at the kitchen table, using the chair back and table edge as armrests. “Bring it.”

As Anna boiled the water, she asked, “Elsa mentioned you. You were friends, right? At Universität Iwerks?”

Meg drummed her nails on the tabletop, watching her own fingers. “We were roommates for years, at the prep school and at university proper. Pretty close. Friends? Well, with Elsa… Mmm, yeah, I guess we were friends. She was the closest person there that I hadn't fucked.” She saw Anna freeze for a second while filling the mug. “She tell you much about school?”

“Some stuff.” She kept her hand steady as she spooned the instant coffee into the mug. “Not, um, that stuff.”

“She and I, we cut quite a swath through U.I. Never with each other, though. That…wouldn't have worked.”

Anna put the mug on the table. “Wha-what do you like? In your coffee? Milk, sugar?”

“Coffee. I like coffee in my coffee.” Meg pointed to the jar of instant. “More.” Anna added another half-spoonful of instant. “More.” Anna glanced at Meg to see if she was serious, then added a quarter-teaspoon. Meg sighed. “Gimme.”

“Sure.” Anna handed her the jar. Meg tipped it, pouring the brown crystals directly into her mug, then stirred. She sipped. “That's better.”

Anna sat down across from her, disconcerted but fascinated. Meg seemed so sophisticated, so sure of herself, but in a completely different way than Elsa. They both took control of the world, but Elsa put up a wall and forced the world to come to her; Meg dominated the world before it could try to dominate her. “So. Tell me about Elsa. Please? And, um, 'cutting a swath'?”

“Don't get me wrong, she wasn't a partier. She's not the love 'em and leave 'em type. That's my job. Nah, not really.” Meg smiled that wry, beautiful smile that never quite reached her eyes. “She loved 'em but didn't leave 'em, I left 'em but never loved 'em. Teamwork. Elsa… she's so reserved, but when she opens up to you it's so real, that it makes you feel really special. But you know that, right?”

“Well, I…”

“First she was with Snowy. Mary, that is. We called her 'Snow' because her hair was jet black. You know, like calling a big guy 'Tiny'?” Meg shrugged. “We were fourteen. We thought we were clever. So Snowy is just this sweet, vulnerable, deer-in-the-headlights girl, and Elsa starts looking out for her, and Snow melts, y'know? Real onee-sama relationship. And Elsa's mothering her, guiding her – I suppose Elsa must've been a kid at some point, but I just can't picture it – and Snow adores her. And Elsa really cares about her, too. But, dot dot dot.”

Anna looked at Meg quizzically. “But what?”

“There's always this wall. This distance. Snow wants to get closer, and Elsa never really pulls away, but there's a line you can't cross. She withdraws, Snow is heartbroken. Next thing you know she's seeing seven guys at once, just to say 'fuck you' to Elsa.”

Anna folded her arms around herself. “That must've been awful for her.”

“For who, Snow or Elsa? Snow got it out of her system, snagged a rich guy, and is all set to live happily ever after. Elsa was…Elsa. A little quieter for a couple of weeks, that's all.”

“But, Elsa really cared for her?”

“That's the thing. She really cares for everybody. I mean really sincerely. But then bam, you hit the force field and bounce off. I mean, the next girl she was with – and it's always girls, she's a gold-star lesbian – I thought she was trying to change things. Change herself. Or something. But people don't really change.”

Meg stirred her coffee, staring at the swirls in her mug. “Who was this big change?”

“Merida. Big Red. Not physically big, but huge personality. Dominates the room. Big hair, too. Masses of curly red hair. Elsa goes for her in a big way, and I figure she's finally gonna loosen up, open up, you know? So they party, Elsa goes to all of her games – soccer, lacrosse, archery – and all the LGBT protests. Red is very loud and proud. And it's not like I'm studying them, but I can see Elsa just gazing at her all calf-eyed and adoring until the moment she opens her mouth.”

Meg took a swallow of coffee. “Not that she disagreed with Red. They just weren't a fit. I was stupid enough to tell Elsa what I saw, and next thing I know I'm trying not to hear Merida pitching a fit when Elsa dumps her. And the louder Red gets, the quieter Elsa gets. Red storms out, and Elsa goes to her happy place.”

“Her happy place?”

“Her Fortress of Solitude. Her ice castle. Wherever it is she goes when she's there but she's not there, you know? And then she sort of, quietly, starts – not coming on to me, but letting me know that she might be okay with it. I think it was the first time she was in something that was mostly just physical, and she knew with me it'd be more of the same.”

Anna stared at her. Meg gave her a smile that might almost be compassionate. “Relax, princess. It didn't happen. I knew eventually she'd want to open up and start caring about me, and I know where that goes. Thanks, no.”

Meg sipped her coffee again, shook her head. “Then she landed the big fish. Ariel. Big eyes, big hair. Red, again. Sweet and perky as a sugar-and-Ritalin cocktail. Her parents wanted her to go into marine bio but she changed her major to sociology mid-term. She said she wanted to understand people, not fish. I think Elsa always had an eye on her, and when she could swoop in and help her catch up with her coursework, it was a match made in heaven, assuming heaven is the main library. They were joined at the hip. Kissing, cuddling, romantic dates, flowers, long walks on the beach, piña coladas, getting caught in the rain.”

“There's beaches in Switzerland?”

Meg shook her head. “Work with me. Anyway, I've never seen her happier. But, dot dot dot.”

Meg downed the rest of her coffee, held up the mug. “Refill?” As Anna refilled the kettle she kept glancing back at Meg as the story continued. “One day I walk in on them in our room. Ariel's crying enough salt water to make her own marine habitat, and Elsa's turned into an ice sculpture. No, not literally, for fuck's sake. Elsa's saying, 'It wouldn't be right,' and Ariel's all, 'How could it not be right? It feels so right.' Then Elsa says, 'No it doesn't. It's wrong. It feels wrong. I can't – ' And for the first time ever, I see Elsa crying. I clear my throat, Ariel sees me and takes off, and Elsa says, 'I'll be in my bedroom.' And that's all she wrote. Of course, Elsa still makes friends, sometimes with benefits, but those were the big three. Which is a lesson for you.”

“Me?”

“Sure. You are 110% her thing. A sweet little-sister type with red hair. She will fall for you, and fall hard, and the sex will be beautiful, and then one day – boom – you hit the wall of ice. She's looking for something. That's why she never completely became a hermit. But whatever she's looking for, she can't have.”

“No! It's not like that.”

She saw the stricken look in Anna's eyes, then shook her head and sighed. “Hey, what do I know? Maybe you're the one. Maybe everything'll be different this time. But if it isn't…” She pulled out a business card, wrote a number on the back. “…give me a call. I've had a little experience helping girls get over Elsa.”

“You don't understand – ”

Elsa entered the kitchen, saw them, and grabbed the doorframe for balance. “Meg?!” She straightened, and stepped into the room. “Uh, what a surprise. I see you've met Anna.”

Meg hadn't missed the flash of panic and guilt in Elsa's eyes, or in Anna's. “Hang on, 'Ah-na' is 'Ann-a'? As in 'Anna Arendelle'? Τι στο διάολο?” As the sisters stood frozen, she said, “Oh. Ohhhhh. Well, that explains a lot.”