One of the most dramatic moments of this season of The Bachelorette HAS to be when rumored frontrunner Jed revealed that he initially went on the show to promote his music career. Now, I have been skeptical of Jed's whole singer/songwriter vibe ever since the talent show episode. Don't get me wrong, Jed was definitely the most talented—but let's not forget that his competition was Luke P.'s weird love confession and John Paul Jones on a unicycle.

Jed's official ABC bio really pushes the musician thing, and even says that "after his last relationship ended terribly, Jed stopped making music and said it was one of the hardest times in his life." So, what is his music actually like?! Was that break from music maybe a good thing? Well, I listened to all of Jed's available music so you don't have to.

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"Vacation" (2018)

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"Vacation" is Jed’s most recent track, so you’d THINK that this would be the pièce de résistance of his musical journey. Now, I was fully expecting a nice, easy-listening acoustic ballad about love/heartbreak/other generic singer/songwriter topic. You can only imagine my horror when the steel pan drums and Jed’s FAKE JAMAICAN ACCENT started. Part of me wonders if the fake accent is a ploy to distract from the weird as hell rhyming pattern in the verse. It does not.

In case the verses weren’t enough of an assault on the senses, there’s the chorus—which I am generously going to call “the drop.” Out of nowhere, heavy synths come at you under the lyrics “you feel like vacation.” Well, yes Jed, I do feel like a vacation after this attack on my nerves.

Spotify

It’s also the only cover art that doesn’t feature Jed’s face, which I personally think is a huge loss. Not that his face would make the song any better, but it would at least give me something to stare at whilst I question the life choices that have led me up to listening to this song.

"Misery" (2017)

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This song confirms that Jed would be *perfect* as an Adam Levine tribute act. With a chill pop-funk vibe, "Misery" sounds just like it could be a rejected track from a Maroon 5 album—and Maroon 5 have released a lot of garbage lately.

Jed croons in the chorus, “I will die in misery / If we call this history.” I don’t know who hurt you, 2017 Jed, but it appears that you very much did not.

We also need to talk about the cover artwork:

Jed Wyatt YouTube

Because literally, all I can think of is this:

GIPHY

There’s even an acoustic version on YouTube, where Jed manages to play the song with his eyes closed almost the entire time. This looks like it’s Jed’s YouTube page, which has a whopping 181 subscribers. Maybe he should have led with that when he told Hannah that he initially applied for The Bachelorette for more exposure.

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"Let Me Dream" (2016)

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Now this was the Jed that I was expecting. Acoustic guitar and lyrics so generic, I’d be troubled to recall a single line—despite listening to the song at least five times. Handily, the only lyrics in the chorus are “Let me dream,” a line I’m tempted to use on my boss the next time I want to sleep in instead of going to work.



Feat. Jed

If for some unfathomable reason you wanted more Jed music, you can also find him featuring on two more tracks. The first one is Kamber Cain’s "I Don’t Think Of You"—except he doesn’t actually seem to sing in this one? He just appears as the eye candy in the music video. If Jed’s involvement is a tactic to get views, I can’t even be mad as it clearly worked on me.

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There’s also the song "Strangers" with a guy called Joe Denny, which looks like it was edited on Windows Movie Maker in the mid '00s—yet somehow was released last year.

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Bonus content: DADDY WYATT

In scouring YouTube for all of Jed’s music, I stumbled upon a man who I am just wildly guessing is Jed’s dad—JERRY WYATT. Jerry makes his own YouTube videos of him playing guitar. You can even learn to play guitar from him!

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Natasha Jokic Natasha Jokić is one of Cosmo’s 2019 summer editorial interns.

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