LOWELL, MA—In a huge blow to the already neglected varsity team, the Lowell High School football program found its future season in jeopardy this week after administrators allocated $500,000 of school funds to the theater department’s upcoming production of Little Women. “We’re worried about the future of the program. It just seems like the school district never sees the value of investing in the athletic department,” said football parent Meredith McCoy, who confirmed that the team would have to raise money for new balls this year because of the excess spending by the drama department on authentic 19th-century dresses and handcrafted reproductions of furniture from 1868. “I understand that this is a live-theater town. Parents move to this school district just to get their kids in front of a director to potentially get cast as Meg. The JV boys haven’t had new uniforms in 10 years and yet the school spends $250,000 on dance training for Newsies. Football has value—it’s an outlet for so many misunderstood kids, and to see it constantly pushed to the side like this is disheartening.” At press time, the football team was being forced to practice in a coach’s backyard after the field was demolished to make way for a $10-million state-of-the-art amphitheater.

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