Basically it comes down to this: I’m tired of seeing people unhappy. This whole ten-step thing is a project I’ve been working on for quite some time, and I’m proud that it’s finally finished. The best part about each of these steps is that each one is a huge spectrum, from minuscule and mild daily changes to absolutely radical life-changing choices–and everything in between. No matter who you are or where you are in your life, every step counts.

Step 1: Change of space. The human mind is complex, massive, and wild beyond what we can even comprehend ourselves, and it doesn’t all really fit in our human bodies. The place where you live, whether it’s a bedroom in your parents’ house, an apartment, or a home of your own, should be a reflection of your mind–the things you like to look at and think about, and the things you like to be around. Possibly the best decorating tip of all time is this: If you love how it looks or what it makes you think of, put it up. (some examples of spaces where people totally got this right) You need at least one place like this in your life. It may not be a magazine-worthy, perfectly balanced and matchy-matchty decorating style, but I can guarantee you will not care by the time it’s finished. But it’s never really finished. Your space is constantly evolving and changing, just like you are, and as you move on from things (including people), you’ll find things you once loved being confidently placed in the trash bin, replaced with something that better represents who you are now. And that’s when you’ll know you’re doing it right.

Step 2: Change of place. Changing places is something I pretty much consider sacred, and absolutely necessary to a healthy mindset–and the best part? It’s a HUGE spectrum. You can change places on a small scale by going and doodling at a coffeeshop while your parents are fighting, or you can make a major change and move across the country as soon as you graduate college. Everything in the middle is awesome too, like spending a few days visiting a friend a few hours away, or going on a 3-week camping trip in the mountains (see next step).

Step 3: GO OUTSIDE. Let me start by listing the things that DON’T count as going outside: Commuting to work. Walking into the mall from your car. Cleaning out the garage. Go is a verb, which means something you do, which means an intentional decision; going outside means an intention to spend time in the Earth’s air, around the Earth’s trees and plants, under the Earth’s sun. Or maybe under the Earth’s rain, because that is absolutely magical, and rain is nothing to be afraid of. You don’t have to go on a 3-week mountain trip to get the benefits of the outdoors. Taking a dog for a moderate to long walk, going for a bike ride with your family, eating lunch on a park bench instead of at your desk…all super easy and really great ways to get outside a little more. But never underestimate the power of truly escaping into nature. I really hate author-unknown quotes, but one of the best quotes I’ve ever heard is this: “The human spirit needs places where nature has not been re-arranged by the hands of man.” Find such a place, go to it, and lose yourself in it. You will not be disappointed.

Step 4: Be active. You were expecting this, weren’t you? Before you scroll past this one, give me a chance. I won’t go on about the health benefits of exercise because we all know it makes us feel and look great–it’s just hard to actually get it done. But when it comes to exercise, think Nike and just do it. The words that never fail to motivate me, no matter how lazy I feel, are these: “A shitty 20-minute run is better than nothing.” Miraculously, those simple words really get me up and going, because it reminds me that even a quick walk around the block is better than sitting on the couch. And the hardest part of going to the gym is going to the gym–once you’re actually there, it ends up being less difficult than you anticipated to get a really great run, swim or other workout in, and there’s nothing like the smiling afterglow of some great exercise. And if you need a little more motivation than that, realize it truly gets easier every time. Go to the gym once, and then go again the next day and do the same workout. I guarantee it will be noticeably easier the second time. That’s a great example of how our bodies adapt to exercise over time. And even if you’ve never gone to the gym, not even once, you could be running a 10k in a few months–maybe it all starts with a shitty 20-minute run.

Step 5: Let what you eat be fuel for your body. I wrote a separate article on all this here, because it needs it, but here are the basics: Eat something in the morning, because eating early burns more calories and gives you real energy. Avoid preservatives and artificial additives, and your diet will be fine. Don’t go to McDonald’s. And don’t go to Burger King either. Cut the crap. Realize that cooking is NOT as hard as you think it is. Do not count calories. And most of all, don’t forget to treat yourself.

Step 6: Just say yes, AKA DO THINGS. If I had to pick one, just one, of all these steps to tell you about, I just might pick this one. Being open to new experiences and getting outside of your comfort zone is what makes the magic happen. Do something you’ve never done before every day, even if it’s just taking a new route to work or something. As much as possible, do something that you can admit is outside of your comfort zone…and every once in a while, do something that REALLY freaks you out. Cook something you’ve never cooked before, and make it for someone you make food for a lot just in case it goes awry. Start a project and decide when you’re going to finish it. If someone asks you to go do something crazy, especially if you would have never thought of it yourself, GO DO IT. You’ll meet new people, see new places, and experience new components of life and the world you live in. Very applicable here is my favorite quote of all time: “Life begins where the comfort zone ends.”

Step 7: Positivity. Visualize and focus on a universe that’s working for you, not against you. This sounds a little space-y but you’d be surprised how much a simple change of focus can change your daily life. Don’t be afraid to start small; fixate yourself on the good and fortunate things that come to you, and when unfortunate or disastrous things arrive (they will) let the feel-good sunshiny silver linings take over. Pretty soon you’ll realize that there are a LOT of great things happening in your life, and definitely more great things than bad things. The good will overcome the bad, and the light will overcome the darkness. That’s just how the universe is. (As for the world, I’m not 100% sure yet, but planet Earth is kinda the nasty exception to the natural yin and yang of things.) More words on positive thoughts can be found here.

Step 8: Find something, anything, sacred. Most of the definitions of “sacred” I found are centered around the words religion and religious, which I don’t like at all. But I did find these ones: 1. reverently dedicated to a person, purpose, or object. 2. regarded with reverence. And reverence means “a feeling of deep respect tinged with awe.” This is exactly how I love to think of the word sacred. A sacred component of your life DOES NOT have to be centered around a deity or a religion, though that’s often the easiest route. It means a deep dedication to a purpose. It means acknowledging something, anything that is a higher power than you, even if it’s just, like, science. It means identifying or finding something that is SO important to you that it’s actually sacred to you. The most sacred parts of my daily life are doing yoga, taking baths with yummy aromatherapy things, using [tarot cards]link, and writing about the world and how I feel and think. Recognizing that these things are sacred to me makes them absolutely necessary to my happiness, and when I mentally pair them with the word, I find them impossible to go without. And it’s amazing.

Step 9: Release the insanity. This step could pretty much also be “Make Good Choices,” because I’m using the specific definition of insanity here: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If you’re tired of being around someone, stop being around them. If you wish you exercised more, exercise more. If you don’t like something in your life and wish it would change, change it. The world is not a Disney movie, and no one is going to take care of you, and it will NOT work out great in the end no matter what you do…but it will work out great in the end if you make it. I grumble at cliches as much as the next person, but life is, in fact, what you make it. Nothing is going to change unless you change it, and please don’t be afraid. Browsing for new job openings, sending a text to an old friend, deleting the number you should have deleted a long time ago, signing up for EHarmony, learning a few words in a new language…all super simple things you can most likely do from where you’re sitting right this moment.

Step 10: Change of People. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good about who you are. This includes what you say, how you look, how you think about things, what you like to do…everything that makes you who you are. This can be nearly impossible until you go to college. And possibly still impossible in college. But with enough good intention and actual decision-making, you’ll find who you’re looking for. You may sometimes feel like there’s no one out there like you, and you’ll feel like pouting about it. Reality check: there’s 6 billion people on this one blue planet. You’re not that special. Be humble and patient, and wait for the people you click with to arrive. Or if you’re feeling motivated and adventurous, go find them (see “change of place”.) Side note about the people thing: once you’ve decided to be positive, open-minded, and optimistic about your future and your place on the planet, you’ll enter in to a new world where almost everyone you meet is also that way, and the entire population will be at your fingertips…you’ll have no problem finding the right people.