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As I mentioned in my column on bullying, I have this preoccupation with smutty humor. I use it to feel out a crowd, so to speak, and to my detriment, that's a little inconsiderate. To the best of my knowledge, I've never made anyone uncomfortable with my unseemly jocularity and I've never made a woman feel harassed in any way, and I feel shitty just saying that. "To the best of my knowledge." That means I don't know. Maybe I have made someone feel all creepy and weird because I busted out a joke about rimjobs.

This is the crux of the harassment issue and the weird zone where men and women have uncomfortable interactions. In certain instances and with certain people, it's OK to say and do certain things, such as compliment someone's ass. The problem here is that some people are ignorant enough that they are unable to know when that is. A good rule of thumb is that it's never with a stranger. While they may just be a friend you haven't met, they'll never become a friend if their first impression of you is as a potential rapist.

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I'm as awkward as anyone when it comes to determining the best time to try to up the ante in a relationship. If there's someone I find attractive, though, I know right off the bat that things like openly masturbating, drooling, or following her home and clubbing her and dragging her to my cave are not going to get me far. I refuse to believe anyone in the world is so stupid as to not get this also; they choose not to. Men who are too aggressive, too offensive, too overall creepy, are choosing to act this way, because something in their past has convinced them this is in some deranged way appropriate. If you're one of those guys, if you've ever experienced a woman telling you to back off, or looking at you with revulsion as she pushes you away, you need to really consider what pushed you into that, because it wasn't her fault you freaked her out. You need to understand that sex within six minutes of meeting someone is not normal and probably won't happen. Maybe even shouldn't. You can wait longer -- you're not in some porn version of Speed where if you don't hump 50 times in an hour you're going to explode.