Take a moment to look at yourself. What are you wearing? But, most importantly, why are you wearing it? I can already feel so many readers shrugging at what they will think is a superfluous question, better left for high-maintenance dandies with way too much time in their hands. That may have been how I started (I don’t have as much free time anymore), but I soon enough realized that style is one of the easiest and most significant ways to gain ownership of your personhood and find agency in a chaotic world.

The Choice of Clothes as A Struggle for Individuality

Don’t be one of those people who are so easy to ridicule, the ones who let others shop for them. Men are particularly guilty of this. Every so often, I will use my sympathy to feel bad for guys who let their girlfriends or wives pick clothes for them. The very first thing people will notice about them, a crucial component of their persona, is built by someone else. They project a false image to the world and we can all notice that, even if only subconsciously.

Yet, an even more insidious problem is the undue influence of trends, which are an abdication of your personality not to the collective ideals of the people who have designed what your persona is supposed to be. Then, people at a clothing store chain repackaged all of that and peddled it to costumers for maximum profit and engagement. Your sense of personhood and individuality is really not of the matter for them, because tribalized customers, who quickly revert to their groups, make target advertising so much cheaper and more effective, and customers easier to acquire and maintain.

At least in fashion, the desire to abandon individuality in favor of trends and collective thinking is often a manifestation of a lack of self-esteem. To purchase a version of yourself that has been pre-packaged by expert marketers is considerably easier than going through a process of self-discovery. More importantly, it is less risky, because there is no real individual decision-making for which to be held responsible, and there is no apprehension that may come from being different. It is the ultimate risk-averse choice, which, by sidelining choice, also sidelines responsibility, and erodes individuality and agency with it.

There is nothing to be gained from following trends. It is far better to dress in a way that is personal and unique, instead of popular, no matter the risks that may come with it. Ultimately, the greatest risk a person may face is not humiliation or even ostracization, but the loss of what gives personhood in the first place, choice. There is nothing significant to be gained from copying others. Yet, individuality, even when just choosing what to wear, has greater far-reaching implications. When the very act of choosing what to wear and how to showcase yourself to the world is uncompromisingly personal and deliberate, it helps foster the self-esteem necessary so that all other acts throughout the day will be, too.

Your attire is a great first step in the battle of your individuality against the collective, precisely because it can be seen by everyone, and it gives the world a snapshot view of who you are. Even the most seemingly ordinary choices you make a reflection of your subconscious, all that you believe you and has been built throughout your life. Growing up in a family of businesspeople may lead you to develop a certain style, but it goes far beyond that. In fact, even the way you part your hair is a reflection of your personality and it conveys a message to the world. Notice how Clark Kent and Superman differ when parting their hair1.

Wearing something of which you do not have true, personal ownership is counterproductive. While some, like me, love suits and ties on workdays and preppy attire the rest of the time, this is not a reflection of the average man. This picture is the opposite of who many of them are, especially the younger ones. Yet, every day when I walk out of the front door, I see so many men wearing a suit to work. They often make serious fashion faux pas, but, even worse, they look fake. Men may gain some fake confidence wearing a cheap suit to work, but that fugacious feeling becomes worthless when the anxiety and nervousness set in, and it becomes evident they are playing a role. That’s all just unnatural. If you are not a complete sociopath, it can be hard to keep face when portraying a lie to the world; your subconscious always knows when you are lying.

How to Find Your Style

Clothes do not make the man; they represent the men. The reason it is even more egregious to copy the style of others is that your style should be developed over an entire lifetime. Hence, it not only represents your history and tradition, but, most importantly, your attitudes, ethics, values, and overall life philosophy. Accordingly, I would suggest that the best way to find the clothes you can honestly own is to follow your instincts and try everything until you find your style. It’s a trial and error process.

Of course, at the end of the day, we are all just picking clothes that were designed by someone else. It is what we make of them, and how we incorporate them into our own style that matters. But always guard against the ready-made version of what you should look like that is paddled to the masses by the marketers seeking to make a buck. It’s like trying to make a homecooked meal: you pick the ingredients grown and harvested by someone else, and you make them your own; to follow the marketers would be like buying a ready-to-eat microwave meal and trying to pass it as your own.

Having your own sense of fashion will also make you memorable. Whether it is that far too many people walk around with athletic apparel or that office workers too often reach for baggy grey suits, they all blend together into indistinguishable masses. No wonder that so many people shy away from fashion as if it were a waste of time. I have often told friends they should try wearing wider variety of suit colors, like a tan suit, or at least go for a windowpane design.

Don’t waste the potential of clothes to create your persona. Find something that matches your personality and don’t be afraid to be different. Another suggestion I have often given is for them to wear a lapel pin, an easy way of adding something to your clothes and making a statement at the same time. There is a great scene in the TV show The Loudest Voice where a staffer brings two bags of American flag lapel pins for all the TV hosts to wear after 9/11 as a political statement. But you don’t need to go that route, because there are a lot of different alternatives, like smiley lapel pins. Or, why not buy one at a gift shop the next time you go on vacation instead of an ugly t-shirt?

Conclusion

Clothes can be a tool of oppression, or you can make them a tool to promote your sense of personhood if you get ahead of it and take control. You will either dress yourself the way the world wants you to, or the way you want to. If you don’t take action, the choice will be made for you. In that sense, it is not too different from having a routine. Some people will stumble out of bed already late and hurry to work, while others will take a Patrick Batterman approach to the start of their day. For as bad as he may be, one thing I have found everyone admires about him is his discipline, a man taking control of his life. It feels better to take the lead and have ownership over your day.

Then, you can go sell yourself to the world. Whether for better or for worse, human labor has been commodified. You are the product, not what you produce. Therefore, neglecting your appearance would be like trying to sell a used car without at least washing it first. Also, it becomes more important to diversify yourself from the masses. Differentiation helps market and sell a product. A large part of your worth comes from your ability to communicate to the world that you are unique. Take a look at how Jacob Rees-Mogg, the Honorable Member for the Eighteenth Century in the UK Parliament, has dragged himself from the backbenches to a cabinet position in no small part because of his eccentricity, which made him an internet meme.

All of this is not about traditional attire. It’s not about shopping at Brooks Brothers or Vineyard Vines. For most people, doing that would make them inauthentic. And that’s okay. The true process that is called for here is style self-discovery and ownership, no matter what it may be. So, always guard against the urge to follow the masses and instead strive for originality and true personhood.