Here's your jobs plan. Hope you're inspired.

Here's your jobs plan. Hope you're inspired.

No, this is not a story from The Onion. It is an actual bill , introduced by an actual member of the House, actually debated by other members of the House—for 35 minutes—and actually passed by a vote of 396 to 9 yesterday.

Thanks to the hardworking members of the House, "In God We Trust" is our official national motto. Still.

Of course, “In God We Trust” already is the national motto, guaranteed by an act of Congress in 1956. And “In God We Trust” had already been reaffirmed once before as the national motto, by another act of Congress in 2002.

No matter, because the country obviously needed a third act of Congress to make it really, really, really clear that this is our motto. And it allowed members of Congress to pontificate on some of the deeper philosophical issues that face every American:

“Is God God? Or is man God? In God do we trust, or in man do we trust?” said Rep. Trent Franks (R-Ariz.). He was laying out the deeper meaning behind this debate — saying it was a chance for the House to reassert that it believes there is divine goodness and order in the universe. If there isn’t, Franks said, “we should just let anarchy prevail because, after all, we are just worm food. So indeed we have the time to reaffirm that God is God and in God do we trust.”

But spending time on this critical issue isn't just about God God. Or man God. Or completely redundant, symbolic, meaningless gestures intended to give members of Congress something—anything—to do other than focus on jobs. No, this reaffirmation of the reaffirmation of the national motto has real-life, very practical applications. After all, when the Republicans took control of the House, they promised to strictly adhere to the Cantor Rule:

“Each day, we will hold ourselves accountable by asking the following questions: Are our efforts addressing job creation and the economy; are they cutting spending; and are they shrinking the size of the federal government while protecting and expanding individual liberty?” Cantor said at the beginning of this term. “If not, why are we doing it?”

Cantor's office did not explain how the "In God We Trust" re-reaffirmation addresses job creation and the economy, but the bill's sponsor, Rep. J. Randy Forbes (R-Va.) did:

Forbes, the bill’s sponsor, said it would inspire Americans in tough economic times. “Our citizens need that kind of hope,” he said, “and that kind of inspiration.”

So the next time you're applying for a job, or calculating whether you can afford rent and electricity, or hoping your health insurer will cover that new medication you need (if you're lucky enough to be insured), just think of God—that's God God, not man God—and trust in Him, and enjoy that hope and inspiration you now have to get you through the tough times, courtesy of the House of Representatives.