CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

A new family of Saffas that have moved in down the street are finally enjoying life in Australia, after successfully moving their family’s inheritance out of the old country via Great Britain.

While the head of the household, Gough (43) makes remarks about how the changing political landscape of South Africa meant that he had to move the family to Australia and start at square one – his wife Margarette nods along with a stern agreement.

“I hud an entya landscaping business back in Jo-berg” he said.

“Over heya orl I cun do is mew lorns”

Luckily, with the influx of colonial wealth, Gough won’t have to work again – and can focus on decorating their household to look exactly like the gated manor they left behind.

“Aww. Don’t guh in thet room” he says to his neighbours who came over to check out what they’ve done with the place.

“We hiven’t finished renerverting in thur”

A passing look through the stained glass window on the door show a room full of taxidermied endangered African land animals.

“We stahll need to finish the floor” says Margarette

“I tell you whut. Australian construction workers are much slewer thun buck home”

The conversation then turns to just how inefficient Australians are in general, especially when it comes to sport.

With his two sons being blatantly outshone by the local kiwi kids in the club rugby trials, Gough says the poor quality Australian rugby grassroots to the superior programs they have back in South Africa.

“We have different programs for blacks and different programs for whites, it mekes it much fairer”