LAKEWOOD, OH—Cramped and frustrated at being unable to interact with any of the other guests, Halloween party attendee Hayley Crawford divulged Wednesday that she was sick of being stuck as the back half of the Velma costume. “It’s unbelievably hot back here and I’m tired of suddenly being pulled around without warning whenever [Velma front half] Kelly [Armbruster] wants a drink or sees someone she knows. We’d better be switching out soon,” said Crawford, who claimed she and fellow Scooby-Doo fan Armbruster had spent hours making the elaborate costume only for most people at the party to not even realize she was there. “I have to undo this flap in her skirt every time I want to have a drink, which almost always spills, and now Velma’s right foot has pretty much filled up with beer. This sucks. Next year, I’m just going by myself as a camel.” Crawford eventually left the party early and went home with the middle third of Thomas the Tank Engine.

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