Does anybody know what Malaysia actually wants?

That’s the question I keep asking myself whenever the next twist in the affair hits newspaper headlines – with the latest one happening just last week.

On the 8th of January, Foreign Ministers of both countries concluded what seemed to be a productive meeting, arriving at an agreement to temporarily revert back to status quo ante in dispute over Seletar airport (i.e. freezing any changes on both sides for a month) and establish a working group to settle the issue of maritime boundaries.

It all appeared perfectly positive.

And then, the very next day Johor’s Chief Minister decided he’d like to go on a cruise to visit the disputed maritime area and shake hands with the sailors – effectively ruining the accomplishments of the previous 24 hours, prompting protests and forcing Singapore to cancel the upcoming Iskandar meeting.

Whatever excuses Malaysian politicians want to make it’s an example of either monumental incompetence or simply ill will – or perhaps both at the same time.

In addition, it looks like a completely botched attempt at playing good cop / bad cop in foreign affairs.

It’s as if someone in Malaysian MFA picked up “Psychology 101” in Kinokuniya last weekend and thought it would be good to send mixed signals to somehow confuse Singapore in order to extract more from it than would otherwise be possible. Subsequent ineptitude in execution of this “plan” was really rather amusing.

However, for all the entertainment that Malaysian politicians deliver, we should not forget that nothing that’s happening is a laughing matter. Singapore may be comfortably strong to remain patient about its neighbor’s petulance but it should not suggest that this behavior will be condoned.

The reality is far more disconcerting, since someone across the border thought it was acceptable at all. It’s not – and it should never be.

On October 25th, when everybody was going about their life, Malaysian authorities decided to intrude into Singaporean territorial waters, laying a claim to them in a fashion similar to a parang-wielding thug barging into somebody’s house demanding money and silverware.

Given that such violent acts are a regular occurrence in Malaysia, local politicians have clearly – however bizarrely – considered them to be a good inspiration for handling foreign policy.

Unfortunately, they somehow failed to notice that it’s also tantamount to extortion.

No self-respecting nation – especially one that is strong enough to defend its interests – can agree to any concessions in these circumstances. It’s like negotiating how much of the loot the robber can keep – and being expected to shake hands afterwards.