Dear Angela,

I’m meeting my girlfriend’s family for the first time in a couple of weeks. We’re both less active LDS but her family doesn’t know that — they think she’s active, and they think I’m active. This is news to me. For the upcoming meeting, she has asked me to pretend and go along with the lie because she "doesn’t want any drama.”

Needless to say, I’m extremely uncomfortable with this. Why should I pretend to be something I’m not because my girlfriend doesn’t want to own up to her lifestyle choices? She says if I love her I’ll do it. Please advise.

Martin

Dear Martin,

I suggest you hold off on the family meeting. Hopefully this relationship works out, right? If so, the family is going to find out eventually and you’ll be the liar that their daughter is dating. It’s not a good start.

Tell her you love her enough to be authentically yourself, there’s too much pretending in the world already. Tell her you also love her enough to respect her family, and to help her respect her family, too — by being honest.

I would also ask her if being an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is something she wants to make a reality. Sometimes people lie about how they wish things were, and then support her in that choice.

Good luck!

Love,

Angela

Readers: Have you ever been asked to lie to a significant other's family? What choice did you make and how did it end up?

Visit the Ask Angela Facebook page for more from Ask Angela, and follow us on Instagram: @askangelashow

Angela Trusty gives advice about religion and relationships. Submit a topic to askangela.dn@gmail.com