On Thursday, November 20, while driving to work listening to my preferred sports talk radio station, Dennis and Callahan on WEEI in Boston, I heard an exchange that chilled me instantly. The hosts, an admittedly puerile group, were enjoying a yuk-fest while discussing what they considered a newsworthy story, an intersex woman who was preparing to be interviewed about her relationship with the swimmer Michael Phelps. They began by discussing the woman’s sexual organs,

“The twig is still there, the berries are gone? Is that normal?” was Gerry Callahan’s comment to Kirk Minehane’s explanation of the woman’s anatomy. And then came the first use of the word that froze me:

“You can play guess the tranny all day…because some of them are really passable….this to me is not passable”, obviously referring to an image of the woman they were looking at. This came from Minehane, the same host who was suspended for a week earlier this year for calling Erin Andrews a gutless bitch, but only after Fox Sports threatened to pull all advertising from the station and bar their on-air talent from appearing on the station’s shows.

Callahan then asked,

“How would you tell if you were with her? Think she has a low voice?” to which John Dennis piped in “Adams apple”, at the same time that Minehane muttered “penis”.

Callahan said “Yeah, the wiener would give it away” and Minehane followed up:

“A penis is always a giveaway this could be a tranny”.

The hosts then went on to discuss what a freak Michael Phelps is, with his webbed feet, and his dope smoking, and how he probably has gills behind his ears like Kevin Costner in Waterworld. They figured someone wacko like that would be into a relationship with this woman, or as Minehane summed up, “Always a give-away you’re a tranny guy”.

As the father of a transgender child, I know that the word tranny is fraught with dehumanizing symbolism, and in every use of it, Minehane exhibited why that is. First, there’s the “guess the tranny” game he alludes to, which demeans transgender people who are only attempting to present to the world as the gender they identify with inside. They are not trying to trick people into believing they are something they are not – they are human beings, not the subjects of some carnival game. Similarly, they do not deserve a pejorative label that seeks to define them as something freakish – a girl with a penis –a tranny! And Minehane also used tranny as essentially a genre of sexual kinkiness, again, as if they are a toy for others’ use and enjoyment.

As a volunteer speaker for PFLAG, I know that one of the elements of our safe-schools program is to encourage straight allies to speak up when they hear homophobic slurs. Here was an opportunity for me to practice what I preach. As soon as I got to work, I found the station’s website and called in to attempt to get on the show. As I waited in queue, I texted the show “As the parent of a transgender child I would like the hosts to know that their use of the word “tranny” is incredibly insensitive and hateful to transgender people and the people who love them and I’d like to hear an on-air apology.”

I got a standard thank you reply, and when I got through to the screen caller, I said I wanted to educate the hosts on their poor choice of language, to which the screener replied, “yeah, we’re not going there” and hung up.

I then found a contact email for the program manager at the station and sent an email complaint. No response. Later in the day, when I went back to their site looking for another contact name I could try, I was astounded to see a link to the audio of the segment under the title “Michael Phelps and his Tranny”.

The next day, still not having heard back from the station, I found the email contact for the President of Entercom, the company that owns WEEI. This is what I sent him:

On Nov. 20, which happens to be National Transgender Day of Remembrance, which honors the memory of transgender people who were victims of violence in the past year, including those who were homicide victims, morning hosts on the Dennis and Callahan show laughed their way through a story about Michael Phelps, using the word “tranny” several times in referring to an intersex woman who had claimed to date Phelps. The website for WEEI even contained the word “tranny” in a headline for the available audio of the segment. As the parent of a transgender child and a board member for Greater Boston PFLAG, I can assure you that the term “tranny” is as offensive to transgender people and the people in their lives as the ‘n-word’ is to African Americans. I tried several methods of contacting WEEI to voice my displeasure, including attempting to call the show. I was not allowed on the air, and emails to both the show and to the program manager for the station have gone unanswered. This is a life and death situation – transgender people are at high risk of violence in our society, and demeaning and dehumanizing them with terms like Tranny contribute to that risk. Since many media figures have been suspended or fired for racial remarks, I would like to at least see a public apology for this language from the D&C show hosts, WEEI, or both. I hope to hear back from you on this as I am prepared to seek other public ways to expose this cruel and insensitive language and behavior.

Within half an hour, I received this email from WEEI VP/Market manager Phil Zachary:

Mark:

I’m in receipt of your e-mail and have pulled the offensive term from WEEI’s Web site. I don’t think any of us had an understanding of the sensitivity of the matter, and I personally apologize to you and your family.”

Phil Zachary is the man who at first refused to suspend Kirk Minehane for his “bitch” comments about Erin Andrews, and when Minehane returned to work after he was ultimately suspended for a week, he welcomed him back with a website headline hailing “Minehane’s triumphant return”.

Here is how I responded to Mr. Zachary:

Phil,

Thank you for your response. As your reply indicates, there is a teaching moment opportunity here. While removing the offending word (actually, I checked the link, and what you did was change “tranny” to “transgender girlfriend”) is a positive step, what was most offensive was the demeaning attitudes of your on-air talent. I am a regular listener of the show, and as an experienced marketer I understand that the target audience drives show content and “brand”, which I would describe as “boys locker-room for those who remember the good old days of politically incorrect boys locker rooms”. So the opportunity I’m looking for is for the station to step up and acknowledge publically what was said, and to acknowledge that what was said and how it was said does not reflect the standards a diverse community expects from a public broadcaster, and to apologize. While I appreciate the personal apology, there is more at stake here. The organization I work with goes to 150 schools a year in the Boston area, sharing personal stories as a way to break down barriers and create safe environments for gay, lesbian, bisexual, intersex, and transgender people. One of the main messages is to stand up to those who use offensive language (like “that’s so gay”), and begin to make those kinds of comments unacceptable. That is what I am doing here, and why I don’t believe it’s enough just to apologize to me. I look forward to hearing back how you plan to do this.

And here is Phil Zachary’s response:

Mark:

As a regular listener to Dennis & Callahan you already know I can’t mandate their contrition. It would only serve to make matters worse or even backfire (Think: Erin Andrews). I’ve extended my apology to you and will mention the matter to them when the time is right. That will be our teachable moment.

Thank you for understanding.

Phil Zachary

Well, I’m sorry Mr. Zachary, but it’s you who doesn’t understand. How would you feel if someone you loved had a marker for suicide or was at high risk of homelessness and violence? Would you try to help them? Would you try to find the reasons for the pain in their life? Being transgender is not something anyone would choose to be on a whim, but people are transgender nonetheless. Key word being people. They are someone’s children. They are my child.

I’m as big a believer in freedom of speech and thought as any American, but there is precedent in the use of certain language that is deemed so incendiary and offensive by enough of society that there is a heavy price to pay for using it in a public forum. I’m looking to set that precedent for language that demeans and diminishes the very existence of people who already are at risk in a legal system that does not protect their rights. No, Mr. Zachary, I will not be granting my understanding and I will not be going away.