There are definitely foods that I used to enjoy, that I have had to stop having around the house. Cheez-It brand snack crackers are one of the foods I have had to simply give up, such is my devotion to them. You can keep your Goldfish, your Cheese Nips, and your Better Cheddars. Cheez-Its are my dark master. I’ll go through an entire box in an afternoon, sitting in front of the television, making myself sick as I add fresh cracker after cracker into the ever-growing cracker-mush pocket tucked between my cheek and gum. It’s disgusting, really. But few things go as well with beer, and with a Sunday afternoon, as a box of Cheez-Its.

But oh, the humanity! Around 2,000 calories per box. Almost 100 grams of fat! Around 2800 grams of sodium! This version uses just five ingredients, and you can go as organic with them as you’d like. They aren’t quite as crunchy as Cheez-Its right out of the box, but I like them even better that way. If they seem TOO soft, toss them into the oven for a few minutes longer. No matter what, you’ll still probably finish the whole batch in one sitting.