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Few things in life are as utterly predictable as the evangelical circus, as some pieces I read this week show.

The phoenix rises

Everybody’s favorite preacher boy and ringmaster is back. According to the seattlepi blog:

Former Mars Hill Church senior pastor Mark Driscoll has filed incorporation papers in Phoenix for a new entity called The Trinity Church in Arizona, 14 months after he resigned his Seattle pulpit and just under a year after Mars Hill ceased to exist.

The new entity will be a “Bible-based Christian church” with Driscoll and two other directors, each giving the address of Mark Driscoll Ministries in Phoenix. Driscoll and his family moved to the “Valley of the Sun” last summer.

…On Nov. 30, 2015, Driscoll and two associates incorporate[d] The Trinity Church in Arizona. Driscoll has been back on the evangelical preaching circuit and has early new year appearances at the Zion Conference in Texas, the North Valley Community Church in Arizona and the megachurch-hosted Most Excellent Way to Lead conference in South Carolina.

Driscoll is also blogging, lately with an eight-part series on the meaning of Christmas.

I’m all for second chances, but this one was a no-brainer from the start. Do you think Driscoll and crew moved to Phoenix because one day he learned about the legend of the phoenix rising again out of the ashes to live forever? Do you think he’s gonna be working that into his bio?

Do you think maybe he has been reading feng shui Master Lam Kam Chuen’s description in The Feng Shui Handbook?

A mythical bird that never dies, the phoenix flies far ahead to the front, always scanning the landscape and distant space. It represents our capacity for vision, for collecting sensory information about our environment and the events unfolding within it. The phoenix, with its great beauty, creates intense excitement and deathless inspiration.

Sounds like the making of a new evangelical leadership conference:

“You won’t want to miss this spectacular event — Phoenix Rising. Learn how to fly in front of your people, to gain vision from your environment, to create intense excitement and deathless inspiration! Starring…of course, Marky D!”

Excuse me if my excitement is not intense and my inspiration bit the dust at this news. It’s just so predictable.

• • •

Will the hymns be by John Williams?

From the Daily Record (New Jersey):

The Liquid Church’s Christmas services will center around Star Wars, coinciding with the release of “The Force Awakens.”

“We want to draw on the excitement surrounding Star Wars in order to reach new people and teach them about the birth of Jesus Christ, in a way they’ve never heard before,” said Tim Lucas, lead pastor and founder of Liquid Church. “We believe we have the greatest story in the world, but the challenge is reaching people with that story. So, as a church, we want to be dynamic, engaging, and culturally relevant.”

Liquid’s “Cosmic Christmas” services began last Sunday and will conclude on Christmas Eve with a live Star Wars Nativity Scene. Guests will be invited to line-up for their opportunity to wield a lightsaber and join the Nativity with Leia, Han Solo, Chewbacca, and R2D2, according to a press release from the church.

…In a break from tradition, the church will tell the story of the birth of Jesus through the book of Revelation – the last book in the Bible. Kenny Jahng, media pastor at the church, said the use of Star Wars characters allows the church to draw a line from something familiar, in this case Star Wars, to the biblical story.

“In there is a story about an epic battle of good and evil and we will pull in the story from Star Wars and frame it from that perspective,” Jahng said. “We will use Star Wars characters on stage to tell the story. It’s family friendly and Bible based.”

Here’s some promo text from their website:

COSMIC CHRISTMAS EVE is an “out of this world” 60-minute holiday experience featuring… NJ’s only LIVE Star Wars Nativity Scene ! You’ll wield a lightsaber and join the Nativity Scene with Leia, Han Solo & Chewy

! You’ll and join the Nativity Scene with Leia, Han Solo & Chewy Sit on “Darth Santa’s” knee and take a selfie

knee and take a selfie Plus Jolly Ol’ Stormtroopers and fun Star Wars giveaways This family-friendly event culminates in a message of hope that tells the story of Jesus’ birth in a way you’ve never heard before! The event is FREE…but TICKETS ARE REQUIRED. Space is limited…please fill out a campus form below to register today! Register during the “12 Days of Star Wars Christmas” starting on December 6th and get automatically entered to win awesome Star Wars prizes!

If you didn’t see this coming, you don’t know evangelicalism.

• • •

The suckers are still being born

Christianity Today ran a couple of major circus stories this week, one of them about yet another wave of Multi-Level Marketing companies becoming popular among Christians.

Shaklee or Amway, anyone? The businesses that made many of us uncomfortable back in the 1970s and 80s are back with a vengeance. And the evangelical church, especially its women, are signing up more than ever.

The article in CT discusses why this form of business has such appeal among Christians, and especially among conservative Christian women:

In some ways, the church is a perfect setting for MLM sales. Many companies were founded by Christians or have explicit Christian values, including Mary Kay (cosmetics), Shaklee (nutritional supplements), Pampered Chef (kitchen equipment), Premier Designs (jewelry), and Advocare (sports performance). “Because direct-selling is relationship-based, and of course the church community is so relationship-based, that definitely is a draw,” said Monroe.

Further, MLM allows Christian women to engage business, community, and family at once, in a way that the current work–home divide doesn’t allow for, at least not as seamlessly. Many women want to work and raise a family without the demands of a 9-to-5 job. In a 2012 Pew Research Survey, US mothers said their most desired work scenario would be part-time; working moms wish they were home more, and stay-at-home moms wish they could work outside the home. This makes a “work-from-home” arrangement such as MLM attractive—especially to evangelicals, who are more likely than any other religious group to say it’s better for the family when one parent stays home.

“As long as MLMs are regarded by conservative Christians as a more honorable option for women than a normal part-time or full-time job, these organizations will continue to attract women within the church at significant rates,” says Jen Wilkin, a minister at the Village Church in Flower Mound, Texas, where she leads a citywide women’s Bible study.

MLM is “one of the most sanctifying things that I have ever done aside from parenting,” says Molly Abrigg. The stay-at-home mother of two based in Dallas sells essential oils—tiny bottles of plant extracts purported to have cleansing and healing properties. For her, it’s a way to meet and minister to other sellers. “There are many benefits to being a stay-at-home mom and having an extra income coming from a product you are passionate about,” Abrigg said. “It helps women find their ‘why’ outside of being a mama.”

What the MLMs don’t tell you however, according to CT, is that fewer than one percent of sellers in them earn a profit. In one company the article profiles, more than ninety percent of recruits stay at the lowest level, earning $600 or less per year.

And that’s not the only problem. For years, these kinds of companies have been on the FTC’s watch list for fraud, deceptive claims, unfair pricing of their products, and operating as pyramid schemes.

In terms of Christian relationships, the article accurately attests to the awkwardness that can grow in communities where people want to love and support each other, but feel conflicted and uncomfortable when they are pressured to buy or join up. Beyond personal discomfort, some churches have found this kind of “pitching in the pews” troublesome for the health of the congregation and potentially schismatic.

Nevertheless, this piece reports a resurgence in MLM, especially among evangelical Christian women.

With a church that tends to view life in consumeristic, transactional terms (and, in my opinion, doesn’t adequately value the contributions and gifts of women), we oughta see something like this coming pretty easily.