How low has your career sunk when a consolation goal in a game your manager doesn’t really care about is possibly the spark your season needed? Yes Wayne, we all know you have the occasional spectacular in you but I think the United fans would like a bit more than an 89th minute goal away to Fenerbache when you are losing, no? Still, it’s not all bad for United. Pogba got injured.

United’s defeat in Turkey turned out to be Liverpool’s second best evening in Istanbul. Mind you, if nothing else it gave their fans a chance to remind everyone they won something there once.

West Ham striker Andy Carroll was chased down after training yesterday and the potential robbers of a very nice watch pulled a gun on him. I know what you are all thinking, Andy Carroll was in training? Still, he managed to accelerate away in a manner the Hammers fans have rarely seen. Just a shame it was in his car.

Swansea are monitoring Dimitar Berbatov. Unless the Bulgarian has upped his workrate, I cannot imagine he takes a lot of monitoring. That would be the kind of gamble Americans usually make in Las Vegas. Berbatov struggled to look motivated for Champions League matches, so imagine him digging in away at Sunderland when your Premier League future depends on it.

I don’t know much about football and even less about insuring a footballer. I would imagine that when you are as injury prone as Jack Wilshere, getting that allegedly worth £20m body insured can be an expensive game. I mean, if I had had as many crashes as Jack has had injuries, my rust bucket would cost me Jack’s wage packet a month. Now, I would imagine silly little things like driving a motorbike would be top of the no-no list in the small print of any policy Arsenal or Bournemouth have taken out. And maybe, you know, paddle boarding in the English Channel?

Back when Inter Milan were winning the Champions League in 2010, and I’ll let you guess who was manager, Southampton were mid-table in League One. Last night they came from a goal behind to beat the managerless side 2-1, even managing to throw in a missed penalty for a bit of a giggle. Claude Puel. I never doubted him.