The AP story is based on interviews with "Ryan allies" who spoke on the condition of anonymity "to discuss private proposals they were preparing for him" after the Romney-Ryan ticket tanks. It really makes for some humorous reading.

According to the anonymous "biggest boosters" of Ryan, he "probably can write his own ticket" after Nov. 6!! Here are some of the possible roles they envision for Ryan after President Obama starts his second term:

Paul Ryan the Quitter!

Some of Ryan's closest pals are so worried about the Dems in Congress being mean to Ryan when he returns as a loser to Washington, that they are urging him to follow in the illustrious footsteps of the last Republican VP loser, Sarah Palin, and just quit!



A return also would make Ryan a leading target for Democrats. For the next few years, Democrats would lay traps in legislation, forcing him to take sides on measures that could come back to haunt him during a presidential bid. That is why some of Ryan's biggest boosters are considering whether it wouldn't be better for Ryan to resign from the House.

Don't deal with those mean, sneaky Democrats Paul. Just run away!

Paul Ryan the Professor!

According to Ryan's awestruck allies, Paul Ryan is such a serious, intelligent, "wonky" guy that he would make a wonderful college professor!!!



After all, on the campaign trail, Ryan is as much lecturer as campaigner. Aides routinely set up giant video screens so Ryan can use visual aids to walk audiences through the minutiae of budget politics. Graphs and charts are as common as yard signs and American flags at some events, with Ryan settling into his role as explainer in chief. It's no accident he embraces the "wonk" label aggressively. It could make him an attractive figure as a guest lecturer or visiting professor.

Paul Ryan as explainer in chief? Really? Really?? Like when he explained his tax proposals here??:

That would make for one damn short college lecture.

Paul Ryan the Thinker!

Yes, the alternative-universe allies of Paul Ryan see him as a Big Thinker of Big Thoughts who could set up shop in Washington to do some Heavy Thinking for all of us.



Or Ryan could set up an office at a Washington think tank and focus on issues that interest him. That would give him a platform to shape public policy without the frustrations of electoral politics. Both options would give Ryan some space to contemplate serious issues. One of the chief reasons Romney put him on the ticket — and one of the reasons he accepted — was to have high-minded debates about Washington's relationship with the public.

Paul Ryan wants to have high-minded debates??? Like this one?:

Hmm. I guess I missed the lesson in debate class when they advised us to run away if we didn't like the direction of the discussion.



Paul Ryan the Breadwinner - Finally!

In Paul Ryan's inner circles, it's apparently a big problem that his wife earns more than he does. So his allies see his election loss as a great opportunity to make some big bucks so that he can finally - finally! - wear the pants in the family.



Ryan could cash in and become a lobbyist. His family is on solid financial footing, thanks in part to wife Janna Ryan's family money. Last year, the couple reported adjusted gross income of more than $323,000. Yet Ryan himself has never been a major earner. He started out as a congressional aide and waited tables to pay the bills.

In the end, I only know one thing for sure.

Go Obama!! GOTV!

UPDATE:

As several folks have commented below, save Paul Ryan the trouble of having to resign from Congress and donate some time or money to Rob Zerban.

