



Phyllis Stewart Schlafly passed away on Monday after half a century of warning us about the dangers of feminism and I”m convinced she died of a broken heart. After discovering we are living in a world that venerates the likes of Lena Dunham, she decided life was no longer worth living and went gently into that good night. An old, amateur Wiki entry trivialized Phyllis” work thusly:

Schlafly believed that if women were given equal rights they would be drafted into the military, that unisex bathrooms would be mandated and that same sex marriages would be legalized, none of which were correct. Schlafly also believed that with having the Equal Rights Amendment the atmosphere and the “traditional home life“ would be disrupted.

That last hyperlink, entitled “My Brother’s Pregnancy and the Making of a New American Family,” features a woman with a beard “chest-feeding” her son because she thinks she’s a man and moms don”t have breasts when they”re dads, got it? The amount of injections, hormones, fake smiles, and suspensions of disbelief required to make his “brother’s pregnancy” appear normal is enough to make you wish Phyllis croaked about fifteen years ago.

Back in the 1960s, Schlafly opposed the ERA because she recognized that it only purported to be about equality when, ultimately, it was about sabotage. Feminists rail against the patriarchy, claiming we have to move over and let them replace us, but when handed the keys to the city they let them fall on the floor and say, “Whoops.” They want to be the same as men when it comes to fun stuff like being action heroes and making lots of money in advertising, but when it comes to sanitation and sewage they are a silent fart. Pretending women are the same as men is like putting your dad on the runway during Fashion Week and saying, “Werk it!” It’s a ridiculous mess that makes up new rules as it goes along and fucks up the lives of everyone it touches, especially women.

“In a postfeminist world, we put any woman remotely competent on a pedestal and keep giving her rope until she inevitably hangs herself.”

As Schlafly was dying, a talk-show host in Australia was complaining about a comment Dunham made in 2005. Apparently, a 19-year-old Dunham wrote in her diary, “I dreamed I was a prostitute and that I molested a little African American rodent.” This is news because young girls find it interesting. They have incredible buying power and thus have undue influence on the economy. Bill Hicks warned us of this decades after Schlafly, but still decades ago. While expressing his horror that Debbie Gibson had the No. 1 album in the country, he asked the audience, “Is there that much babysitting money being passed around right now?” There is. After writing little more than a racist dream journal, Dunham got her own movie, then a TV show, and soon after, a $3.7M book deal. This has since become small beans as Amy Schumer was recently gifted at least $8M to write a book. To be clear, men who have been hammering away at a keyboard their whole lives would be very lucky to clear $100K, and if we ever get our own show, we may be able to get to $1M. Eight million dollars simply does not happen to male writers, especially if they have the language at their disposal.

This was the America Phyllis warned us about. She knew that the vast majority of women would be happier at home. She knew pretending they were men and trivializing childbirth would give us an upside-down culture where major accomplishments are scoffed at and the minutiae that enthralls babysitters is world news. Every time Lena Dunham is in the news it’s more irrelevant than the last, and it garners even more attention because that’s what we care about. That’s why I”ve crowbarred her into an obituary about Phyllis Stewart Schlafly. Lena Dunham pays the bills. Young girls look up to her because she’s successful and she’s successful because young girls look up to her. The rest of us can”t resist gawking at the carnage because we still can”t believe we are living in a world where this mediocre manatee gives mandates.

Before being chastised for having a rat reference in her teenage diary, Dunham was in the news for rejecting Odell Beckham Jr.’s rejection. She was at the Met Gala with fellow author Schumer and was shocked to discover the New York Giants wide receiver wasn”t turned on by the tuxedo she had draped over her potato-shaped body. “He looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of a woman by his standards,” she told Schumer. “He was like, “That’s a marshmallow. That’s a child. That’s a dog.”” A riotous backlash ensued because the only thing more precious to our society than fat chicks is blacks. Feminists came up with this rule on their own and it’s likely because they love gangsta rap so much. That and the fact that their enemies are all the nice white boys who don”t fall at their feet and abide by whatever ridiculous rules are in fashion that week (Dunham’s boyfriend describes himself as “a straight man with, like, lesbian chemicals”). Lena has since apologized, claiming she “would never intentionally contribute to a long and often violent history of the over-sexualization of black male bodies.” This apology came at around the same time she was in trouble for a recently unearthed 2011 tweet wherein she indicated you don”t have to worry about being followed by men who aren”t black because Asian men don”t rape. She doubled down on the rapey vibes when she claimed that Kanye West’s sculpture of celebrities in bed made them look “drugged” and gave her “a sickening sense of disease.” I realize this is completely retarded and not worth your time, but these controversies got as many eyeballs as a Phyllis Stewart Schlafly article, which is exactly what Phyllis Stewart Schlafly was warning us about.

Like all feminists afflicted with verbal diarrhea, Lena Dunham is in a constant state of criticizing society and then apologizing for what she’s done. This is the matriarchy at work. They have no idea what they”re doing because they”re not supposed to be there. Dunham makes a show about vapid white girls with no black friends and then apologizes about the lack of black friends on the show. She complains that she was sexually assaulted by a Republican (who doesn”t exist) but jokes about sexually molesting her sister. When her sister follows the pattern of many victims of molestation and becomes a lesbian (30% have been molested), Lena makes it about Lena and what a fantastic ally she is to the gays. This is what happens when you let an infant drive. They crash.

When she writes about what she knows, Lena Dunham is fairly good at her job. Girls was an accurate and interesting look at rich kids in New York City and the petty lives they lead. However, in a postfeminist world, we put any woman remotely competent on a pedestal and keep giving her rope until she inevitably hangs herself. This is what happened to Amy Schumer when she was forced to produce so many jokes, she had to steal to make the quotas.