You call me up on the phone and ask me to come over and cuddle

I think you must want me or else you'd be a little more subtle

We go into your room get into your bed

My lap is where you decide to rest your head

And just when I'm about to make my move

You say

"You're my straight gay friend"

(What?)

"My straight gay friend"

"You're closer to me than the rest of those men"

"To sweet to try to get in my pants"

"I appreciate you not trying to advance"

And I say

"Don't mention it I'm here for you"

"But the subtext is damn, and my balls are blue"

I can't believe i just got L.J.B.F.'d again

Another lets just be friends

Well I'm out at the bar when I see her standin' there

(Dude she's so freakin' hot)

She walks up to me and runs her fingers through my hair

(Awh yeah)

We drive back to her place

She says take of your shirt

I'm gonna change out of this tiny skirt

So it doesn't get dirty and whats that I see in your hand

It's a can of paint and a roller too

You seem like such a nice guy so heres what we'll do

We'll paint my room watch Will & Grace on T.V

Just like when it was my brother and me

Your my straight gay friend

My straight gay friend

Your closer to me than the rest of those men

Your cute and non-threatening and nice to me

Thanks for being that way Ba-by

And I say don't worry about it thats nice of you to say

But in my mind were doin' it 10 different ways

I can't believe I just got L.J.B.F.'d again

Another "Let's just be friends"

What you girls don't understand is that guys like me

We got enough friends

And it fills me up with so much spite when you

TALK ABOUT THE DOUCHE BAG YOU WERE WITH LAST NIGHT

Im finally doin' it right with this awesome hottie

She says sweet words to me and is feeling

All over my body

When we wake up from that crazy night

I look at you and realize my eyes where not right

That beer made my brain rise, she's a big ol' cow

And when she tries to make a move right now

I say lets just be friends

Lets just be friends

I know it felt like that night would never end

But you seem so nice don't want to ruin it with sex

I gotta go now but I'll give you a text

So I run for the hill and can't help but feel hexed

You ladies out there really got me vexed

Gonna staple a sign to my face that says

I have no interest in being your friend

(be your friend) (be your friend)

(be your friend) (be your friend)

(be your friend) (be your friend)

(be your friend) (be your friend) (be your friend)