Fader here - last meeting was in Autumn 2005. Lurker on this site and others. Not one to get all controversial.

Typical situation, pretty much a born in and left the church at age 38 and never looked back.

I'm 53 now, parents getting older - late 70s but very active, Dad is still an Elder.

Parents, In Laws, Brother and Brother-in-Law still uber active JWs.

My family (wife and 2 adult children) out since 2005.

We have stayed close to our parents - we have treaded religion lightly and have had a pretty good relationship and have kept our personal lives and beliefs/opinions separated from them. This was intentional - as we love them and do not want anything to cause shunning since they are getting older and want to be there for them and we respect their beliefs.

Got this letter today. Note: we did not celebrate Xmas this year - too much going on and frankly it doesn't have the meaning for us since we were raised JW. We do like Xmas and the family togetherness and we give gifts to our grown children - sometimes go overboard on the gifts since they never celebrated growing up...

Need some advice on a response or should I just ignore? My Father is very rigid, to the point - black and white guy - pretty much a nerd (he is an electrical engineer from his pre-JW education...) He has never been emotional and has gotten very upset in the past when we did talk about why I don't want to be JW. He is totally brainwashed.

The letter - sent via USPS with a "Return to Jehovah" brochure inside the envelope:

"Dear XXXX,

I am writing this short and concise letter instead of phoning you as it would have resulted in unproductive emotional verbal exchanges by both of us.

Over the past few years your Mom and I have "looked the other way" with dangerous "sentimentality" regarding you and your family's deviation from spiritual standards. However, we have recently become aware of you and XYXY celebrating Christmas. We suspected such activity was going on, but now it is confirmed. Additionally, it is no secret that there is/was unscriptural cohabitation by your children in your own home.

We know you love us, and we you too, but it is evident that our lifestyles and conduct standards do not coincide.

Therefore, since our loyalty to the God we worship supercedes family loyalty, your Mom and I have mustered up enough courage to limit contact with you and your family to only "necessary family business". We hope you will respect our stand on this.

Your Mom and I dream that someday that this situation will be corrected by you and your family returning to Jehovah, and to us. But that is up to you and them. To that end I am enclosing an appropriate brochure. Please XXXX, don't throw it away. Even show it to the rest of the family. Or just set it aside in a safe place and at some point it might be seriously considered!

Sincerely,

(still your) Mom and Dad

PS: we suspect that after reading this letter you will be outraged and then text, or call on the phone, or drive down to express your negative thoughts and feelings towards us, the congregation and the organization. Please don't. Our hearts hurt enough already.





Any thoughts are appreciated.

Thanks.