Big Brother’s house is open once more! Every week, Parade.com’s Mike Bloom will be bringing you interviews with houseguests as they get evicted from the game.

“I have lived a life of being underestimated,” Holly Allen told the jury while pitching for their jury votes on the final day of Big Brother 21, “and I capitalized on it.” Indeed, the wine safari guide marketed herself as a stealthy predator, especially compared to her showmance partner in the dominant Jackson Michie. Holly’s bonds in and out of the house got her in a safe position early on, only for it to all crumble apart like a healthy cake. But her strong alliance with Jackson and their competition dominance got them to the final two against the odds, leading to a respectable silver medal for Holly.

Wyoming-based Holly started the season mountain high. She became a part of the powerful “Gr8ful” alliance from the get-go, and also housed an outside connection with outsider Kathryn Dunn. Matters got slightly awkward, though, when she began a romance with Jackson Michie, a server who had just served Kat an intention to separate. Though “Gr8ful” remained in control, the rest of the group was growing wary of her and Jackson growing closer. Her first HoH reign tangled her in more drama than the ivy that won her the key. When initial target Nick Maccarone won the Veto, Kat volunteered as a pawn to obscure their relationship. All seemed good for Sam Smith to head out of the house, until Jackson revealed Kat and Holly’s connection. What followed was a series of manic minutes leading up to the eviction, as her “Six Shooters” alliance came to blows. Holly was able to dispute the accusations enough to kill the plan to flip the vote, keeping Kat to conspire into the jury phase.

Jackson and Holly soon turned into public enemy number one for the majority of the house, especially after Kat’s eviction. When Jackson won a clutch HoH, Holly was resolute on finishing off Nick, convincing Jackson to keep his rival Christie Murphy to help. The next week, she rolled her way to the HoH room once again, and despite the paranoia of Prank Week, was able to get the last laugh by finally evicting Nick. Simultaneously, she and Jackson had made a final four deal with Nicole Anthony and Cliff Hogg III, which kept them safe through a pulse-pounding double eviction. Holly was the last houseguest to touch the block, getting nominated by default after Nicole used the Veto on Cliff at the final five. Though the two “Fellowship of the Zing” members were tempted to break up her and Jackson, they ultimately did not cast their alliance into the fire. From then on, the path was clear for Holly. Jackson won the final Veto and HoH to ensure they would take up the final two chairs. Addressing the jury, she attempted to separate her game from his, naming her successful shots and arguing she was guiding him. And though three jurors wanted to honor her strategy, she ultimately walked out hand-in-hand with Jackson, soon to get a $50,000 check in hand.

Now out of the house, Holly talks with Parade.com about her strategy for her jury speeches, why she planned to play with honesty and integrity, and how she’s gained a sense of self-worth from her time in the house.

It’s been about twelve hours since you walked out of the house. What’s been your state of mind?

Oh my gosh! I knew it would be an overflow of emotions, but I think I underestimated it a tad. I got to see my family, which was phenomenal. They live in Wyoming, so I haven’t seen them since December. That was the highlight for me; that was my focus. My family got to be here and experience all the craziness with me last night. I’m very happy with the game I played. I’m happy with second place. Of course, I would have preferred the win. I’ve gone over a million different scenarios in my head of how I could have gotten there. I’m kicking myself for several things. But at the end of the day, I played very true to myself and came out okay. So I’m happy.

Were there any jury votes that surprised you one way or the other?

I was shocked I didn’t have Sis’ vote. She was telling me to dump Jackson before she left, saying he was bad for my game. So I’m not sure where her bitterness came from. She was the only big surprise; everyone else was pretty much what I anticipated. I wasn’t sure how Christie and Tommy would vote. I knew they were going to vote who they liked more–because I was close with both of them–or who they saw as the outwardly savage game player. They didn’t see a lot of my moves, and that was my error. Before they left, I should have clued them in more. That’s my fault. I knew I didn’t say enough to them to get their votes.

What was the thinking behind the approach you took in your statements to the jury, as you tried to separate your game from Jackson’s?

I knew at that point that I had done a good job playing under the radar. Yes, I had people coming after me because of my association with Michie. But nobody in the house was truly targeting me, and that’s what I wanted. I wanted to stay off the block. I wanted to make big moves without the repercussions. I think I did that, but at the same time, I knew I had flown too far under the radar. I wasn’t getting credit for a lot of things.

In this last week in the house, Nicole and I got closer, and I let her in on my gameplay and strategy. And she said, “Wow, Holly. I didn’t give you enough credit. I’ll admit I haven’t done that this whole season. And then I got her vote. When she told me that, it cemented my fears that I had been a little too discrete. I wanted to make that clear to everyone. I wanted people to realize I was taking big shots and getting out big players. Jackson was a very powerful player, but all his moves were on the surface. And I’m not saying one way is better than the other because obviously, he’s an insane player. But I should have made my moves a little more seen. (Laughs.)

If you had won the final HoH and taken Jackson, would have that had any effect on your perception to the jury?

I think it would have, but I don’t think it would have been enough to flip anybody. I genuinely believe the jury had their minds made up before last night. They’ve been sitting in the jury house all summer. All they’ve seen are the comps, where Jackson dominated. And now everyone knows Kat and I know each other, and I’m sure there was some resentment about that. I think their minds were made up. Afterward, a juror asked me, “Who won the last part of the HoH?” So I realized it wouldn’t have made a difference. They didn’t really pay attention.

At the beginning of the game, you were trying to manage relationships with both Jackson and Kat, who were not seeing eye-to-eye. How difficult was that to do?

Oh my gosh! Balancing act. Holy cow! I felt like I was juggling. They both have such strong personalities. They’re very eccentric, while I’m more of a grounded person. I tried to pull them down to the ground with me and talk them off of multiple ledges. (Laughs.) I had to make sure they didn’t self-implode separately or together. It was a lot of work, I tell you what.

On Day 44, Kat nearly gets evicted, and you and Jackson get separated from the rest of your alliance. How did your gameplay change after that confrontation?

Like I said, in the beginning, I had Plans A through Z lined up of how I would apply strategy to different situations. We capitalized on Day 44. That was one of the best things to happen to both of our games. We were “exiled” and slept in the Have-Not room. We milked it! We sunk to the bottom of the barrel and made people think we had nobody. But at the same time, I still had great relationships with almost everybody in the house. I still maintained a really good social game even while people were mad at Jackson. I was playing the “wounded animal” in acting like I had nobody. It ended up helping us quite a bit.

You spoke in your jury speech about wanting to play with honesty and integrity. Looking back, is that possible to do while simultaneously having a successful Big Brother game?

Oh, no! I knew that going in. I knew it was impossible for me to play a truly honest game. But I wanted to do so as much as I could. I wanted to play a game that my family could be proud of. I knew there would be times where I had to lie. Like I said last night, there are multiple ways to play this game. I knew I chose the hardest route by choosing to play with integrity. Had I gone in playing dirty, I might have had an easier time. There are moves I could have made. I could have tried to get Jackson out earlier because I knew that would better my shot. I could have done things that were against my morals to better my game. But I knew to play with integrity was going to make it a heck of a lot harder, and it did.

You were also very concerned with your image and the way you were coming across on the live feeds. How much did that affect the way you approached the game?

That whole setting threw me for a loop, being under a microscope. I was sleep-deprived, cranky, and stressed out because it’s such a pressure cooker. I did not sleep at all; anxiety was through the roof. I was really worried that I wasn’t the best version of myself at all times. I was terrified that live feeders were seeing me not at my best. I kept thinking about what my family and my home state of Wyoming would be proud to see. What kind of game are people that I care about going to respect? That was always in the back of my mind with the moves I made. What could I do and then lay my head down at night and feel good about?

Speaking of emotions, we saw you frustrated when you threw the Final Four HoH to Nicole per a deal you made with Cliff for your safety. You accused the two of them of “bullying” you and robbing you of a competition you could have won. What caused those feelings to come about?

Nicole was underestimated a lot in this game. A lot of people tried to use her and manipulate her. They saw her weaknesses and that she played with her heart. I sat her down at multiple times throughout the game and said, “Nicole, you play with your head and your heart. That’s why I love you and respect your game. Do what is best for you and your game, and that’s it.” I always had her back and I was always there for her. I perceived her as preying on my weaknesses and trying to strongarm me. And I get it from the game perspective; I’m empathetic to it. But at that moment, I was so frustrated because I felt like I was being backed into a corner that I shouldn’t have been forced into.

What do you feel you learned about yourself from your Big Brother experience?

I found inner confidence. I’ve always struggled with self-confidence and self-worth, especially in my twenties. The past few years have been transformative. I’m way more secure in myself. I surprised myself being on this show and competing in a way that I never have, especially so physically. I thought I would be way better at the mental comps, even though I was throwing most of those. I thought those would be my strengths and I wouldn’t be good at the physical comps. Then I got there, and I realized I am good. I just haven’t applied myself because I underestimate myself. I found inner confidence and strength in my own body. I’ve learned other people underestimate me, but I can’t join in on that.