Craig Sailor of the Bellingham (Wash.) Herald has published a most enlightening interview with the host of “Out of This World Radio” on KKNW, Ted Mahr. Ted runs the upcoming Galactic Wisdom Conference, which is “dedicated to the awakening of all human beings.” Tickets sound steep at $97-247, but if you think about it, that’s dirt cheap when you look at what he promises you’ll be able to do there:

Speak to benevolent extraterrestrials (ETs).

Obtain ET protection.

Learn amazing and profound insights from people in contact with ETs.

Find and remove any alien implants you may have.

Contact your angels.

Talk to the dead.

Communicate with water.

Have an appointment with a medical psychic.

Mahr, a disbarred attorney, assures Sailer this is not about conning gullible people, because he’s “getting better at identifying the charlatans.” Glad that’s straightened out. Sailer asks Mahr what got him into this:

My foster mother started giving me readings in 1994. She found missing and lost children for the Auburn and Seattle police departments.

I could purchase a lifetime of galactic wisdom with a nickel for every psychic who claims to have helped police (something the police oddly continue to remain unaware of).

Meanwhile, Sailer isn’t impressed with Mahr’s entry-level cold reading skills:

You’ve mentioned “the other side” a couple of times. What exactly do you mean by that? Do you have a grandfather who has passed away? Me? Yes. He’s right there (pointing behind reporter.) He just said, do you have any questions you want to ask him. Thank you, no.

Amazing! Who could have guessed a middle-aged man would have a deceased grandfather? Now that Sailer has proven he’s the real thing, we can believe him when he says Earth is perfectly lousy with aliens:

The Galactic Alliance is a group of benevolent, mostly human extraterrestrials. They love us dearly and want to help us out so we don’t destroy ourselves. There’s another group I call the Reptilians, who feed off negativity and fear in our world. Our government has unfortunately been involved in a treaty with them since 1954. That’s why the UFO subject is secret in our government. OK, then why … Oh, they’re here. In the room? The Galactic Alliance? Yes. They want to know if you want to ask them any questions. Ambassador Terwellian is his name. OK then. Ambassador, what planet are you from? Seres. He says it’s 100 light years from here… What’s your mission on Earth, Ambassador? …Ambassador Terwellian says many of the world leaders are controlled by the Reptilians. That’s why when you see (President Barack Obama) at a press conference his eyes are very wide and he speaks in a monotone. You can see that in Hillary Rodham Clinton. She’s been controlled since 1994. That explains the Democrats but what about (House Speaker John) Boehner and the Republicans? All controlled.

O…kay there… But then, a small coincidence produces the purest of pure, pure gold. Turns out Mahr was engaged to the reporter’s grandmother in a previous life:

Have you had past lives?

A: …My last time was in Germany… I died in 1946 after Allied bombing in ’44. I was a member of the Hitler Youth. I don’t like to talk about this… Before that I lived in Indiana. I died in 1925. I was a stuntman on a biplane. That’s coincidental. My grandmother lived in Indiana and dated a biplane pilot but he died in a crash before they were married. What year was that? Well, I think she married my grandfather in 1926 so it must have been just before then. It’s not coincidence… Yes, I was the pilot. You were that guy? Yes. I remember the day. Beautiful day. Cornfields everywhere. Small world.

Love Sailer’s understated reactions. If only this were on video, so we could watch him keeping a straight face.