ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Last night around eleven, Mark Rolands was sitting in the Betoota Heights McDonalds doing a bit of work over a thickshake and a box of nuggets.

The Dulux Paint sales representative was about to make the short hop back down to his Old City home. He told our reporter that he often treats himself to a small McDonalds meal when he knows he can get away with it.

It’s also an opportunity, he says, to unwind and take stock after a long day or handshakes, head nods and confident small talk with prospective clients.

As he walked into the family restaurant, he made eye contact with our reporter and nodded. The Advocate nodded back and went back to eating hotcakes and browsing secondhand golf clubs on their phone.

Just as Mark went to bin his tray and head on home, he looked up and saw what was on the restaurant’s television.

“Why the fuck is Sky News on?” he asked himself.

“Is that Alan Jones? What the f….”

Our reporter stopped him.

“Shhhhhh!” shooshed our reporter.

“You can’t say anything critical of Alan Jones, ever! He’ll find out and ruin you! Are you mad?”

Mark frown and put his tray down. He walked over to our reporter and cough laughed as he took a hotcake off the top of the pile, rolled it up and started eating it.

“I’m a paint salesman,” he said.

“What’s he going to do to me?”

The Advocate apologised and remarked that they thought he was Dean Taylor, a court reporter from The Betoota Bugle.

“Oh, it only matters if you work in media. You can say whatever you want, mate. Don’t let this old broken down cowboy stop you.”

Mark lightly slapped our reporter upside the ear and laughed.

“Wake up to yourself,” he said.

The Advocate reached out to the franchisee of the Betoota Heights McDonalds for comment on the matter and was promptly told to go fuck themselves.

More to come.

