For the first time in the University’s history since the merger of the College of California and the Oakland School of Panning for Gold, the University of California, Berkeley has offered all incoming freshmen a seat in their desired course sections.

This exciting news comes only days after the University released statistics for its latest Class of 2021. This year, 15,500 potential freshmen were eagerly offered an acceptance letter to wipe their tears from Stanford rejection on, and an estimated 6000 blew their nose in it while paying the $250 fee to consider paying for tuition (shoutout to the out-of-state kids, $40,000 sticker price).

In years past, after most students flip through their course catalog, talk to their distant Uncle that spent a summer in California, and in recent times, join a Facebook meme group (thankfully no one pulled a Harvard and reported the constant barge of suicide threats), they learn that Berkeley has a had a horrible reputation for impacted classes. For those that were lucky enough to attend a school where a tree is their mascot, an impacted class is one where there are limited seats due to the lack of space and/or instructors to teach that section. Some classes, like CS 61A, the University just doesn’t care. Throw 3000 freshmen into the Greek Theatre and hope no one realizes their CS section was with the other 3000 freshmen.

But, Berkeley somehow was able to offer every student their desired class section, even with the negative budget this year. We asked a couple of freshmen what they thought about the exciting news:

“As a pre-med student, it was almost critical for me to have my Chem 1A and Biology 1A sections right after each other because I wanted to have a long enough break to prepare for CS 61A. Berkeley having enough space this year was incredible” — Sarah “I applied for Unit 3 housing, so it’s obvious that I do not like to think a lot. I thought I would have to actually take Math 1A because there wouldn’t be enough space in any of the Haas prereqs. Guess who is enrolled in UGBA 10, Econ 1A, AND CS 61A? Anyone that wanted to be.” — Brian “The scheduling site was too confusing. Why can I not just plan my schedule in the Schedule Planner and then export that to the shopping cart? Why does it have to be so complicated? Still got into CS61A and Oceans though” — David Horowitz

Truly a gift from the gods this fall. Congrats to all the incoming freshmen, expect another round of housing and classes to bless you next year.

(Satire.)

https://twitter.com/davidsworldtour