“Don’t wish it was easier wish you were better.” — Jim Rohn

What’s the most unspeakable suffering you can imagine? What if you endured that pain every day? What if the nightmares of your waking life woke you up in a cold sweat? How would you handle it?

No matter what your pain, there’s someone who’s had it worse. Someone like Victor Frankl, who suffered through the horrors of the Nazi concentration camp in Auschwitz.

When he walked through the entrance emblazoned with Dante’s inscription to the entrance of Hell, “Abandon all hope ye who enter here,” he could’ve given up. No one would’ve faulted him.

But he didn’t.

Pain wore him down for sure, but he held on. He wrested meaning out of suffering and hope out of survival.

He thrived because he vanquished the darkness of Auschwitz with the choice of optimism and the possibility of hope. His choice birthed the idea of positive psychology, which touched millions of lives.

I’m one of those people.

All it takes is one spark of optimism to set your life on fire and become one of those people too.

Optimism is achievable in three simple steps. Ignore any one of them, and you doom yourself to a mundane life. Complete all three and you’ll achieve greatness.

Forgive

“People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.” — Dr. Kent M. Keith

I can’t begin to compare my life to Victor Frankl’s. But we all have our own real-life version of Hell. Mine was childhood.

I grew up in abject poverty in an abusive and dysfunctional family. It took a while to see past my own anguish, but I forgave them.

My father and grandfather suffered their own torment from severe bipolar disorder. AIDS ended my father’s suffering. My grandfather’s ended in prison.

My mother had her own demons, born from her father kidnapping her as a child and the estrangement from my grandmother until just a few years ago.

I’ve made a crap load of mistakes over and over. That’s the price of learning. It’s the price of life. But through that suffering, I learned that pessimism doesn’t pay. Neither does blame.

There’s a secret about forgiveness for anyone wise enough to learn. Forgiveness is selfish. You don’t forgive people for them. You do it for you, for your peace of mind.

Forgive people who don’t deserve it. Without forgiveness, you dwell in anger. You focus on the pessimism of someone else’s darkness. The first step in changing your focus is to forgive.

You become what you think about. Who do you think you become when all you think about is hate?

Take responsibility

“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.” — Sigmund Freud

Not everything is your fault. You can’t control what other people do. But you’re still responsible for your response. That’s all that matters. Your response determines the course of your life.

Optimism frees you from the bondage of your past. It removes the blinders of suffering and the shackles of hate. It forces you to see your true potential.

Optimism gives you freedom. But the price of that freedom is responsibility.

Look for solutions

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” — Maya Angelou

“I can’t” is not your friend. It’s an insidious lie. Believe it at your own peril.

But something magical happens when you start looking for solutions.

You start believing they exist.

Sometimes all it takes is a chance encounter with Google and few spare minutes to discover the boundless opportunities and the infinite possibilities.

When you embrace the possibility, it changes you. Once that change is deep enough, you don’t look for answers.

You invent them.