LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

In Central Betoota, reports are coming forward that local girl Rebecca (Bec) Lees is dating a man who can’t handle her at her worst yet simultaneously believes he deserves her at her best.

East Betoota RSL bartender Merl Evers says the rumours are true, adding that Lees is dating town BMX biker Tyson Lewis, a man who could in no way handle Bec at her worst.

“Have you seen him? He’s a little shit who couldn’t knock the skin off a custard. No way he could handle Bec at her worst. She’s got nothing to lose that one.”

Others close to Lees are sceptical of this supposed arrangement, such as long-time on/off best friend Terri Jacobs.

“Nah no way can that be true! She’d never be with a man like Tyson, it would go against everything she believes in, including the matching tattoo of that Marilyn Monroe quote we both got done!”

“Don’t get me wrong, at her best she is the loosest girl out and such a good friend. But at her worst, she can be such a fucking cunt. No way is Tyson going to be able to deal with that, I don’t even think he has his Ps, so he’s got nowhere to go when she enters full bitch mode.”

“The rules are simple, if he can’t handle her at her worst, which he can’t, he doesn’t deserve her at her best, which he doesn’t. What’s gotten into her head lately?”

Bec Lees refused to comment on the rumours, stating only that “you should not judge someone unless you know the whole story.”