Football

5 January: “We have money for sardines and I’m thinking lobster. I will do my best to try and bring in the best players. I will look to the lobsters and sea bass, but if not we must buy sardines. But sometimes the sardines can win games” – Perhaps, Carlos Carvalhal, but they couldn’t keep Swansea in the Premier League.

19 January: “I didn’t actually eat the worms. It was a bit of banter where you get a nice, big juicy worm hanging out the edge of your mouth as if you’re chewing it. Of course the worm comes out and you wash your mouth out with water” – Burnley’s Sean Dyche is forced to deny, er, going to ground while a player at Bristol City.

Play Video 0:45 Burnley's Sean Dyche laughs off suggestion he eats worms – video

22 February: “It could have been worse as the cow ran at him for a second time but he managed to get out of the way” – Queen of the South assistant manager Dougie Anderson explains how a runaway cow on backup keeper Sam Henderson’s family farm led to a selection crisis.

The alternative sport review of 2018, from Kanté’s curry to Salah’s statue Read more

23 March: “Dear Los Angeles, You’re Welcome” – a full-page ad taken out by Zlatan Ibrahimovic in the LA Times as he signs for the Galaxy.

19 April: “Piss off. Eleven!” – Sam Allardyce marks himself out of 10 after Everton sent out a survey to fans asking them to do the same of the club’s then manager.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Sam Allardyce was annoyed Everton asked fans to rate his performance as manager. Photograph: Geoff Caddick/AFP/Getty Images

20 April: “I have some bad news” – Arsène Wenger breaks the news to his squad that he is to step down at Arsenal.

27 May: “Haven’t really slept until now … the scenes are still running through my head again and again … I’m infinitely sorry to my teammates, for you fans, and for all the staff. I know that I messed it up with the two mistakes and let you all down” – Liverpool goalkeeper Loris Karius apologises for his performance in the Champions League final.

Play Video 1:06 'We tried everything': Jürgen Klopp on Liverpool's Champions League defeat – video

13 June: “This is a very hard day and now we have decisions to make just two days before the World Cup starts” – Spanish Football Federation president, Luis Rubiales, sacks manager Julen Lopetegui on the eve of the World Cup after Real Madrid announce that he is to take over as the club’s manager. Lopetegui would by sacked without ceremony by Madrid in October.

16 June: “I honestly did not know that no one can smoke in the stadium. I apologise to everyone” – Diego Maradona after lighting up a sizeable Cuban in the stands during Argentina v Iceland. Ten days later, he was treated by paramedics after appearing to collapse during the country’s victory over Nigeria.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Diego Maradona: a quiet World Cup. Photograph: Olga Maltseva/AFP/Getty Images

2 July: “People should recognise that I am one of the best defenders in the world” – Croatia and Liverpool defender Dejan Lovren. Yep, that Dejan Lovren.

2 July: “It is just shameful that so much time could be lost over one player. The delay for one player lasted four minutes, and that is a lesson for even children who play. This should be a game of men and not so much clowning around” – Mexico boss Juan Carlos Osorio speaks for the world when discussing Neymar’s play-acting.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Neymar goes to ground. Photograph: Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images

15 July: “Sometimes the better teams don’t win” – Croatia’s Luka Modric does not take losing to France in the final well.

15 July: “It is quite heavy, and very shiny!” – France’s N’Golo Kanté on what holding the World Cup trophy feels like.

23 July: “I am German when we win but I am an immigrant when we lose” – Mesut Özil retires from international duty, citing racism as one of his reasons.

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12 August: “Haters gonna say I didn’t mean it” – Lauren Hemp has a wry take on her fluke goal at the Under-20 World Cup.

Lauren Hemp (@lauren__hemp) Haters gonna say I didn’t mean it https://t.co/HjZg57U6Cx

28 August: “3-0, 3-0. Do you know what this is? 3-0. But it also means three Premierships and I won more Premierships alone than the other 19 managers together. Three for me and two for them two [Pep Guardiola and Manuel Pellegrini]. So respect man, respect, respect, respect” – José Mourinho demands some respect from Jamie Jackson.

Play Video 0:29 José Mourinho demands reporters show him 'respect' after Manchester United defeat – video

17 September: “He was on a protein diet so we had a chicken curry. He even had a cup of tea. He beat us all at Fifa and then we watched Match of the Day. It was a really nice evening” – N’Golo Kanté spends an evening at a fan’s house after missing his Eurostar from St Pancras after Chelsea’s 4-1 win over Cardiff.

2 October: “It sums up the society we are in at the moment. There’s no respect for anyone” – Steve Bruce is unimpressed at having a cabbage lobbed at him during Aston Villa’s 3-3 draw with Preston.

26 October: “His first touch is like a trampoline. He’s not going to make it” – former Republic of Ireland striker and Perth Glory’s Andy Keogh on Usain Bolt’s prospects as a footballer.

28 October: “It is difficult to put into words how much you meant to this football club and to the city of Leicester. Never have I ever come across a man like you. So hard working, so passionate, so kind and so generous in the extreme. You changed football. Forever! You gave hope to everyone that the impossible was possible. You literally made my dreams come true” – Kasper Schmeichel pays emotional tribute to Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha after his death in a helicopter crash outside the King Power stadium.

Play Video 1:03 Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha: the man who helped Leicester to 'dream the impossible' – video report

27 November: “This grave and unacceptable mistake was completely out of character and was made by a person who has been experiencing severe personal difficulties unbeknownst to any other members of the club” – Ballybrack FC apologise after falsely reporting the death of one of their players in order to get a game postponed. Minutes of silence were held at other grounds in honour of Fernando Nuno La-Fuente, who was still very much alive.

4 December: “No” – Ada Hegerberg responds to DJ Martin Solveig asking her to twerk after she won the inaugural women’s Ballon d’Or.

Play Video 0:40 Ada Hegerberg asked if she knows how to twerk when accepting Ballon d'Or – video

9 December: “So for all the newspapers that don’t understand why people are racist in this day and age all I have to say is have a second thought about fair publicity” – Raheem Sterling calls out the media after being subjected to alleged racist abuse at Chelsea.

19 December: “Each time a chapter is closed I show my deepest respect and I don’t make any comments about my former colleagues” – Mourinho gives his thoughts after being sacked by Manchester United.

Cricket

25 March: “I panicked quite a lot. That obviously resulted in me shoving it down my trousers” – Cameron Bancroft on Sandpapergate.

29 March: “It was a failure of leadership, my leadership. I will regret this for the rest of my life. I’m gutted” – Australia captain Steve Smith breaks down in tears as he takes the blame.

31 March: “In the back of my mind I suppose there is a tiny ray of hope that I may one day be given the privilege of playing for my country again, but I am resigned to the fact that that may never happen” – David Warner expects the worst.

Play Video 1:07 'I am not proud of what's happened': Steve Smith on ball-tampering row – video

14 August: “Now that the trial is over, Ben is keen to get back to cricket being his sole focus” – England cricketer Ben Stokes is cleared of affray.

10 September: “I was never going to be the best player the world has ever seen but one thing I can be proud of is that I genuinely believe I have become the best player that I could have become” – Alastair Cook brings his record-breaking England career to a close … with a century.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Alastair Cook walks off after his century in his final Test. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/The Guardian

12 September: “It will be nice to get someone in at first slip who can actually hold on to a few. Who knows how many wickets I could have got if he could catch?” – Jimmy Anderson cannot resists a dig at his friend Cook after going past Glenn McGrath to become the most prolific fast bowler in Test cricket.

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10 December: “It was played in good spirits. Today was a nice snapshot of the way we want to go about it” – Tim Paine on his Australia’s side’s post-Sandpapergate non-aggression pact after India won the first Test.

17 December: “I know he’s your captain but you can’t seriously like him as a bloke?” Paine again, sledging an India batsman in the second Test – which Australia won – after clashing with Virat Kohli.

Gymnastics

19 January: “I am here to face you, Larry, so you can see I’ve regained my strength, that I’m no longer a victim. I’m a survivor. I am no longer that little girl you met in Australia, where you first began grooming and manipulating. As for your letter yesterday, you are pathetic to think that anyone would have any sympathy for you. You think this is hard for you? Imagine how all of us feel. Imagine how it feels to be an innocent teenager in a foreign country, hearing a knock on the door, and it’s you. I don’t want you to be there, but I don’t have a choice” – gymnast Aly Raisman faces her abuser, former USA team doctor Larry Nassar, in court with an powerful victim statement.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Aly Raisman speaks at the sentencing hearing for Larry Nassar. Photograph: Brendan Mcdermid/Reuters

Rugby union

‘He doesn’t play in a dinner suit’: Robert Kitson’s 25 best rugby union quotes of 2018.

Rugby league

26 August: “We’ve had a fire in our belly and it’s why we are so proud to achieve this” – Catalans captain, Rémi Casty, on his club’s history-making Challenge Cup final win.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Catalan Dragons celebrate their win. Photograph: Adam Davy/PA

9 October: “Some of the women in our game are such units and sometimes they run at me and I think: ‘Oh dear’” – Castleford teenager Georgia Roche wins the inaugural Woman of Steel award.

3 December: “I was happy to be sacked” – Wayne Bennett’s spell at Brisbane Broncos ends on a sour note.

Motor sport

29 June: “It only makes it stronger and stronger. At the end of the day I know I will always be right” – Max Verstappen on dealing with criticism.

21 October: “Fucking finally” – Kimi Raikkonen wins a Grand Prix for the first time in more than 100 races, in Austin.

27 November: “I’m still here, walking and everything is good. I will be back racing and chasing my dream. This happened and I survived thanks to the hospital. Now I’m going to continue and work back again to where I ended” – F3 driver Sophia Floersch vows to return to the scene of her horror crash in Macau.

Play Video 0:18 Formula 3: Sophia Floersch hospitalised after horror crash at Macau Grand Prix – video

17 December: “Nowhere is perfect but we’ll go high & say we are #ProudofStevenage” – Sharon Taylor, Stevenage Borough Council leader, responds to Lewis Hamilton referring to the New Town where he grew up as “the slums”.

Snooker

8 May: “Twelve months ago I was thinking about chucking it and here I am doing an interview having won the 2018 world championship, naked” – Mark Williams keeps his word after promising to strip off if he won the 2018 World Championship.

Play Video 2:12 Snooker champion Mark Williams keeps promise and strips naked – video

15 October: “It’s a bit of a hellhole. I don’t know what this gaff is, but I’ve just done an interview and all I can smell is urine” – Ronnie O’Sullivan takes issue with Crawley’s K2 Leisure Centre, venue for the English Open.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Crawley’s K2: a ‘hellhole’, according to Ronnie O’Sullivan. Photograph: James Drew Turner/The Guardian

3 December: “[I am] incredulous as usual with Ronnie. He gets headlines, I will give him that, but it’s a nonsensical thought” – Barry Hearn, however, has no truck with O’Sullivan’s plans for a breakaway snooker competition.

Golf

8 July: “Look, I don’t mean disrespect to anybody. I know it’s a two-shot penalty. At that time, I just didn’t feel like going back and forth … I’ve had multiple times where I’ve wanted to do that, I just finally did. If somebody’s offended by that, I apologise. But toughen up” – Phil Mickelson takes the rules into his own hands.

22 July: “I was a little hungover. I won’t lie. I had too much to drink last night. And I was so frustrated yesterday, that today was really, I wouldn’t say a write-off, but I didn’t feel I was in the golf tournament. Whether I shot 69 or 73 today, it wouldn’t have been heartbreaking. But as it happens, I shot 67. So, you know, it’s a funny game” – Eddie Pepperell on secret of his final round charge at The Open.

30 September: “Let me put it this way, it’s going to go on a part that only [my girlfriend] Grace will see. The worst decision I made all week” – Thomas Bjørn on promising to get a tattoo of the winning score should Europe win the Ryder Cup. He kept his word.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Thomas Bjørn keeps his promise. Photograph: Ryder Cup Europe/Twitter

Tennis

14 January: “I just count money, that’s all I do. I count my millions” – Bernard Tomic makes himself popular after failing to qualify for the Australian Open.

27 January: “Being here tonight as a grand slam champion, Australian Open champion, it’s very special. Daphne is going home with me tonight. I’ll be cuddling with her” – Caroline Wozniacki has a special night planned with the Daphne Akhurst trophy after winning her first major title at the 43rd attempt.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Caroline Wozniacki reacts after winning the Australian Open. Photograph: Chris Hyde/Getty Images

27 May: “Let’s say for a few years your pieces of writing have been crap every time when you come into Roland Garros. Right? Just crap. And then your colleagues start to say: ‘You know, you really suck around that time.’ How would you guys digest that and would you feel any sort of lingering: ‘Oh, you know what? I want to prove these bastards wrong.’ And it’s just kind of lingering there. So it’s not something I would like to buy into, and I don’t think I do. However, you guys don’t make it easy” – Johanna Konta turns on the British media after her first-round exit at the French Open.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Johanna Konta en route to being beaten by Yulia Putintseva in the first round of the French Open. Photograph: Christophe Simon/AFP/Getty Images

31 May: “Where you from, buddy? If they ever make a tournament there I’m definitely coming because of that accent. Love it” – Alexander Zverev makes friends with the British media after being confused and then charmed by a reporter’s Yorkshire accent.

30 August: “I want to help you, I want to help you; I’ve seen your matches: you’re great for tennis. I know this is not you” – chair umpire Mohamed Lahyani gives Nick Kyrgios a controversial pep talk at the US Open.

9 September: “You are a liar. You will never be on a court of mine as long as you live. When are you going to give me my apology? Say you are sorry” – Serena Williams talks herself into a game penalty during her infamous meltdown in the US Open final against Naomi Osaka.

Play Video 0:51 Serena Williams calls umpire a 'liar' and 'thief' as Naomi Osaka wins US Open final – video

1 October: “Have you ever eaten green tea ice cream? This is a serious question. When you bite into it, it’s, like, sweet but also very strong. That’s how that memory feels to me” – Osaka reflects on that bittersweet victory at Flushing Meadows.

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Cycling

2 July: “I am very pleased that the UCI has exonerated me” – Chris Froome is cleared to race in the Tour de France after the UCI closed its case against him.

24 July: “My throat, nose and eyes were burning … I think we were all grateful for the temporary neutralisation just to have a couple of kilometres to clear our eyes, nose and throat out and then the race continued again” – Froome reacts to being accidentally pepper-sprayed by the police, along with thepeloton, during the Tour de France.

Play Video 0:35 Tour de France riders sprayed with chemical as police try to stop farmers' protest – video

26 July: “Fuck you” – two days later, Froome takes on another gendarme.

Play Video 0:25 Chris Froome swears at policeman who pulled him off bike after Tour de France stage 17 – video

12 December: “Either we move on as a team with a new partner, or there’ll come a timescale when that’s not going to be possible and people move on” – Sir Dave Brailsford on the struggle ahead after sponsor Sky pulls the plug on backing his cycling team.

Athletics

10 June: “He’s flying” – Juan Miguel Echevarria’s coach, Daniel Osorio, as his charge – with wind assistance – very nearly jumps the entire pit to win the long jump title at the Diamond League’s Stockholm meeting.

19 November: “You go from fear to anger asking: ‘Why did this happen to me?’ The first thing doctors say is not to smoke, lose weight, work out and get fit – well that is what I was doing when this happened. I was pretty angry for half a day” – Michael Johnson reveals his anger after discovering he had suffered a stroke.

9 December: “I’m very happy to win for the second time” – Jimmy Gressier brushes over his knee-slide embarrassment after winning the European under-23 Cross Country title.

Play Video 0:31 Jimmy Gressier retains Euro U-23 Cross Country title but faceplants on finish line – video

Darts

16 November: “Every time I walked past there was a waft of rotten eggs so that’s why I was thinking it was him. It definitely wasn’t me. I thought he had a shit and I went ‘That’s dirty’. It was bad. It was a stink. Then he started to play better and I thought he must have needed to get some wind out. If somebody has done that they need to see a doctor” – Gary Anderson causes a stink by accusing Wesley Harms of farting on the oche. The Dutchman’s retort? “If the boy thinks I’ve farted he’s 1,010% wrong.”

Modern pentathlon

14 September: “It’s a bit of a rookie move. He was completely right when he said he felt stupid – it is stupid” – Jamie Cooke reflects on becoming Britain’s first male world champion for 25 years after snatching victory from Frenchman Valentin Prades, who had started celebrating 50 yards from the line thinking he had won.

Racing

23 May: “I’ve had a lot of practice” – At The Races presenter Hayley Moore wrestles a runaway horse under control.

Play Video 0:37 TV presenter tackles runaway racehorse at Chepstow – video

11 August: “We’re racing against the best jockeys around the world and we’ve beat them on level terms. Just saying” – Hayley Turner after a female team of jockeys beat three male teams in Ascot’s Shergar Cup, in which she was top jockey for the first time at the 11th attempt.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Josephine Gordon, Hollie Doyle and Hayley Turner celebrate victory in the Shergar Cup. Photograph: Julian Herbert/PA

Boxing

8 May: “If my dad hadn’t stepped in they were talking about me getting the six-pack – elbows, knees and ankle. But my father convinced them to only give me one bullet” – Eamonn Magee tells Donald McRae about his punishment from the IRA.

27 November: “If they ever invent something that will allow a man to carry a child, I want to sign up for it. I really do. I would say to my girl: ‘Let’s have a baby, and I’ll carry it.’ I would love to experience what women go through to bring life into this world” – Deontay Wilder’s ambitions go well beyond just being heavyweight champion.

3 December: “I’ve been living like a rock star. But that ain’t a great thing, by the way, because I’ve had a very low time doing it. And I’ve fought back from suicide and mental health and depression and anxiety and I wanted more than anything tonight to show the world that it can be done. Anything is possible with the right mindset” – Tyson Fury on getting back into the ring and earning a draw against Wilder.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury during the WBC heavyweight championship bout in Los Angeles. Photograph: Lionel Hahn/PA

Chess

28 November: “So, there I was enjoying a pint in a Wetherspoon’s pub in Holborn, central London, when who should walk in but Magnus Carlsen? Actually, I did not see him walk in – I was busy postmorteming two games from this night’s London League division three match between Battersea 2 and Mushrooms 2. I congratulated Magnus on his win … But getting back to more important matters, my draw means my Battersea unbeaten streak has reached 18 games” – chess blogger Tim Spanton reveals Magnus Carlsen celebrated his world title victory over Fabiano Caruana in a London ‘Spoons.

Winter sports

10 February: “I am really Pumped watching the Winter Olympics. I am watching events I never thought I would watch before, like curling. You heard me, curling, fool!” – Mr T: curling fan.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Pity the fool ... who doesn’t like curling. Photograph: NBC/NBC via Getty Images

25 February: “I sent it too hard, too early and peaked out. All the Kiwis got there and asked ‘where’s Billy’ but I’d gone. I don’t remember but apparently I was taken back in a trolley” – British snowboarder Billy Morgan celebrates his Winter Olympics bronze a little bit too hard.

25 February: “Everyone knows him as Mad Eddie because he is a bit of a loose dude. He’s an engineer so he made some crazy stuff in his day. Once he even shot himself with a booby trap – he was in the papers for that. We had burglars come into our house. It wasn’t actually going to be a booby trap to hurt them, just to go ‘bang!’ if they climbed over the fence. But he shot himself in the stomach with a 12-gauge cartridge. He was like testing it out and fiddling with it and, yeah, he had to go to hospital” – Morgan again, this time on his dad.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Billy Morgan: shopping trolley out of shot. Photograph: Clive Mason/Getty Images

19 November: “They went out to curl and they were extremely drunk and breaking brooms and swearing. Enough was enough” – Wade Thurber, facility manager at Red Deer Curling Centre, on why he ejected an Olympic champion’s team from a tournament in Canada.