It would be much worse. I'd be stuck writing letters to some cousin I met once or twice.

What's a moment in your life when you felt like a complete idiot?

In third grade, there was this school play, and a couple of weeks beforehand, my teacher was bragging to another teacher about how all her students had learned their lines—and then she started going around and having everybody read off their lines. When it got to me, I just kinda pretended like I didn't know what was going. Then everyone started shouting, “Hey Will, it's your part!” And I said, “I don't know my lines.” The teacher was very embarrassed, and I was very embarrassed.

What's the worst job you've ever had?

I don't even remember what my title was, but I worked at Guess Clothing Factory for one summer when I was in college. I wouldn't have minded if it was just folding clothes, but I was a sales rep as well, so my real job was trying to get people to buy clothes. I don't know how I got hired for that, because that whole summer I only wore like three outfits to work.

Do you believe in ghosts?

Yeah, I believe that there is a lot more to existence than we really understand. I don't even know if we understand normal life, but I definitely think that there are impressions of dead people hanging around. It's something that I've never experienced personally, but I've met people who are more sensitive to that sort of thing. There are some people who would go to a super haunted place and never see anything, and there are other people who would be somewhere normal and experience something. I don't know what that means, but I basically think there are different types of living existence on this Earth, and that also translates to post-living experiences.

What's the greatest concert you've ever seen?

For a long time, concerts were not really my bag, because I thought it was a needlessly painful experience—between the noise of the music and having to just stand there for hours, there wasn't a lot of enjoyment for me. But I saw Swans a year ago in Seattle, and it really blew me away. I had heard a lot of cautionary bullshit about how loud they are and how it's the most damaging concert you'll ever see, so I was a little concerned. But for some reason, the fact that Swans were supposed to be kind of painful actually made it more enjoyable for me.

How would you describe yourself as a dancer?

Yoko Ono. She has a song called “Bad Dancer.”

Do you like gambling?

Yeah, I used to play poker in high school. I still do when I meet up with folks who play. Low stakes. It's more about the socialization aspect than the money, and I usually lose. But the money does give it a thrill that it wouldn't otherwise have, even though as soon as I buy in for $10, I basically think that I've lost $10. Maybe that's my problem—I always lose because I've already faded it to the pot.

What's the last TV show you binged?

I watched the first season of “Girls” recently. The first couple episodes were good, but by the end of the season, it started to turn into this parody of what it had been at the beginning, which was kind of strange. So I didn't continue after that. But I liked the Adam Driver character.

Who would you want to play you in a movie about your life?

Myself. But if I wasn't around, I guess Adam Driver.