Possible trigger warning. NSFW. I will be using sexual descriptions and all the juicy stuff. Read at your own risk!

SEX, That’s right, the taboo subject of bumpin’ uglies. We all do some degree of it yet it’s an age-old theme that’s deemed blasphemous and shameful by societal norms. By definition, sex is a sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. It’s shared by lovers, strangers and of course ‘friends with benefits’. As humans we think about sex a LOT, so why are we so shy about it?

Well, I’m not. It can be used for a plethora of ailments or it can be simply for fun or intimacy. Stressed? Have sex. Headache? Have sex. Angry? Sex. Lonely? Sex. Madly in love? Sex. Hot guy or girl? Sex. Bored? Sex. It’s the best tool for distraction in our arsenal yet the majority of us only connect it to a psychological open door for our partners to walk in or as a false front to love.

Let me share my personal experiences and thoughts. Sex can come in many forms. There is lovemaking, hate sex, DIY sex, sensual sex, casual sex, drunk sex and probably more. I’ve had them all. In my experience intercourse is different with every person and every time. Someone can completely rock your world one evening and the next time with them could be an epic disaster or vice versa. I lost my virginity just before I was 16 with someone I would call my first love, we were on an old itchy couch and it was awful. It was awkward, quick and didn’t feel good at all. But as we learned each other’s bodies and kept at it, I would honestly say it’s some of the best sex I’ve had to this day, even 15 years later. Since that relationship, I’ve experienced about 25 other partners (I don’t count) and there have been some epic fails and some nights I won’t forget. Most of my bad sex came from not knowing my own body, and what I like and don’t like In different scenarios (most not all). This is a must for male and females, no matter your sexual preference, learn what your body likes and doesn’t like. Get on Spotify, load up that sexy playlist, close the door and start exploring! If you are anything like me you can be quite directive during intercourse so is better to know exactly what you need to reach your goal.

Let’s dish some dirt!! (Without dropping names of course). Only 25 percent of women can reach climax through intercourse alone, most need clitoral stimulation as well. So Dick Directors, pounding away at us in a monotonous fashion, in-and-out, in-and-out, is not going to work and dry us up quicker than a sun-baked desert. Even if you are apart of the 25 percent of super climaxers that don’t need extra help to achieve the big O, I guarantee no woman likes that, it’s bad. Really bad. It’s shocking the number of men that do this, leaving women to pretzel themselves into some kind of position that makes it worth our time or faking it until we make it. Tip for the penis warriors; stir it, don’t jam it. You will stimulate every inch of her and you will feel and hear the difference. Another pet peeve, which I’m sure most people can relate to being in the throes of passion with your partner and they are all over the place and not paying attention or keeping focus, its the handsy, handsy, kiss-kiss. Let me paint the picture… It starts with sensual kissing, hands caressing curves, kissing moves to the body and boom, foreplay. As your getting more and more excited for the main event they start kissing you again and don’t stop. The train is in the station, all-good down there but the kissing hasn’t stopped and the hands are grabbing like a 3-year-old in Toys R Us, and you can’t breathe. You direct attention away but just like a magnet there they are again smooching your face off, killing the focus of the best part. I hate that shit. Please tell me I’m not the only one? Let’s face it nobody is a pro at sex, everyone is different but we shouldn’t be shy about what we like. I’m not talking about full horse costumes or sexy vegetable hide-and-seek more like sharing what feels good. We all want the same thing right?

Okay now for the good stuff. Dude. Everybody needs the at sex that afterward, you forget your name and what year it is, and how to walk like an able-bodied human. If you aren’t like baby Bambi on ice, get back in there! Mind-altering, seizure-inducing, pure ecstasy. I have only experienced that a few times in my sex life but talk about enlightenment!! Everything melts away and your left 100% satisfied with life, love and everything else. Honestly, I don’t remember any funky positions or new moves it was more the connection between us and their attentiveness towards reading my cues. Sometimes the simplest things can lead to the best feelings. Again this comes with knowing your body. Another great thing guaranteed to make someone melt is spontaneity. You just can’t wait to have them, you don’t even get undressed maybe. It’s fluid, natural and shows real intent. It’s hot from the get-go, even before the main course. Be brave, be spontaneous, be confident and read your partners body to experience the highest of highs.

So far I’ve stayed pretty close to intercourse itself but let’s not forget about all the fun stuff in-between! From sensual kissing to exercising your tongue. Scientifically we need a release and its extremely healthy for your brain and mental health. It’s also a great way to form intimacy without actual intercourse. Let’s run through some things. Good old high school make-out sesh. Great for intimacy and a build-up tease. Over the clothes/heavy petting. You get to feel all the good parts and yearn for more. Using your hands to trace the body. It’s like checking the temperature before diving in the pool. Another great example is mutual masturbation or you scratch my back I’ll scratch your scenario, for all your toe-dipping needs. On to probably the most controversial part of foreplay, oral sex. I understand it’s not for everyone, but you’re missing out. For me, oral fun is the next best thing. Again with attentiveness you and your partner can reach the highest honors. It’s all about finding that one spot and teasing it just so A large number of us believe a blow job doesn’t take any finesse and that the man is easy to please, but the latter is true. Penises need attention too #penislifesmatter. If you’re not experienced or just uncomfortable try this; Use your mouth (obvs!) and your hands. Take the head in your mouth, and lick and swirl like you would a soft-serve cone. Meanwhile, use your hands to grip, squeeze, and stroke the length of the penis. Don’t keep up the same motion — a variety of sensation is key!

Advanced blow-job move: Twist your hand as you move your mouth up and down his shaft like you’re tracing the grooves of a corkscrew, and slide it over his tip each time you get to it. He’ll worship you.

(Don’t worry I got a tip for the clitoris capers too). I have to say, in my experience a female who knows her own body is far better at giving attention to another devil’s doorbell. Not saying there aren’t talented men out there, but usually, it takes them time. If you are unsure about what to pay attention to down there or you just want to test the waters try instead of licking up and down your vulva, your partner should lick side to side and straight across the clitoral hood for an orgasmic feeling. Don’t forget, the clitoris extends down our labia in the shape of a wishbone. So try licking or stroking the labia — not just the clit — while you’re down there. Hell-O!

So sex is natural, messy, forgiving and something that will never be mastered. Learn to love sex and most importantly HAVE FUN!

Peace & Love ❤️