LOUISVILLE, KY – Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) is going to the Dark Side as Darth Vader becomes the sixth celebrity to don the iconic white goatee of founder Colonel Sanders. The restaurant chain made the announcement at a media event this morning filled with surprises.

During the press conference, an actual battle broke out over the hotly contested role. The incumbent Sanders, sports commentator and comedian Rob Riggle squared off against an Elvis impersonator, George Hamilton (hungry for another go-round at being employed) and the Dark Lord of the Sith himself.

At nearly 7-feet tall and wielding a lightsaber, Darth Vader quickly deposed of everyone on stage to the thunderous applause of reporters in attendance. We’re told actor Spencer Wilding was in the suit, and a pre-recorded message from James Earl Jones played once Vader emerged victorious.

“No, I am your Colonel.”

As part of his finger-licking new role, Darth Vader is set to appear in 4 new commercials beginning in December so as to TIE into the release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Similar to George Hamilton’s take on the Colonel, Vader will be heavily promoting a two chicken bucket meals, which parallel the theme of the upcoming Star Wars spinoff.

The Dark Side bucket is packaged in what appears to be a Death Star, and is filled with only dark meat chicken. The Light Side bucket is a white meat lover’s dream, and features graphics of the rebel heroes who help steal the plans to the first Death Star in the film. We’re told Donnie Yen – not Felicity Jones – dominates the packaging for the Light Side bucket, lending more credence to the theory that his character is the only other Force sensitive person in the film besides Vader.

Both special KFC buckets will feature an insert of the “Death Star Plans.” We’re told the small pamphlet launches an augmented reality scene from the film when a smart phone with the appropriate app is aimed at it.

Darth Vader becomes the latest in a string of celebrities-as-Sanders that KFC has been trotting out over the past year and half, including actors George Hamilton, Jim Gaffigan, Darrell Hammond and Norm MacDonald.

Of course, this isn’t the first time Vader has tested the fast-food waters. During the heyday of the Star Wars prequel trilogy in the aughts, the Dark Lord was featured heavily in Burger King promotions with the King. However, this does mark the debut of the new Disney-era Vader as a spokesperson.

We’re hungry with anticipation for the new KFC TV spots to break! Hopefully the new commercials are as funny as the previous executions in the campaign.

As always, keep it locked to FakingStarWars.net for the best made up news from the best made up galaxy far, far away.

-William “Willybobo” Bobo