For a decade, Lori Gilbert-Kaye lent her time and talents to make sure things went smoothly for participants in the annual Friendship Walk to benefit people with disabilities. This year, they walked for her.

Gilbert-Kaye was killed when a gunman opened fire during a Passover service at Chabad of Poway on April 27. A founding member of the congregation, Kaye was known as a generous, exuberant volunteer, who gravitated intuitively toward anyone in need.

“Today’s walk is dedicated to her, because it commemorates her goodness and random acts of kindness,” said Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein.


Goldstein, who was wounded on both hands in the shooting, said her spirit of altruism motivated Gilbert-Kaye to help out with projects ranging from delivering meals to planning events such as the Friendship Walk, friends said.

“She’s always played a huge part because she stood for love and happiness and bringing joy to people, and that’s what Friendship Circle does,” said her sister, Randi Grossman.

Friendship Circle is a Poway-based organization that connects community members to people with disabilities, to ease their isolation. Elisheva Green founded the organization in 2005 with Gilbert-Kaye, Goldstein and others, as she sought a social outlet for her eldest son Dan, and others with special needs.

They recruited teenage volunteers as buddies for Friendship Circle members, and enlisted therapists to train them how to interact with people with issues with speech, mobility or other issues. Volunteers visit their friends at home, attend outings together, and teach them typical teenage skills, such as how to send text messages or dress in style.


When Green launched the organization and planned their fundraising walk two years later in 2007, Gilbert-Kaye was right there with her. Whether she was bringing coffee for early morning volunteers at the event, or donating t-shirts for participants, she always seemed to know how to help.

“Every time she saw something that needed doing, she was there to fix it,” Green said. “Sadly, it’s not surprising that Lori was out in the (synagogue) lobby when the shooter came, because she was there to greet people, make sure people knew where to go, to say hello. That was Lori.”

The annual Friendship Walk, at Liberty Station, is the Friendship Circle San Diego’s largest fundraiser of the year. The organization enriches the lives of children, teens and adults with special needs through social and recreational experiences. This year’s walk honored Lori Kaye, who was shot and killed while attending Passover service at Chabad of Poway. Pictured here is a candle lighting kit, in honor of Mrs. Kaye. (Nancee E. Lewis)

On a cool, foggy morning, about a thousand participants gathered at NTC Park at Liberty Station to contribute their own acts of kindness. Their efforts brought in more than $80,000 to Friendship Circle, bringing them close to their goal of $100,000.


“This event brought together the Jewish community at large, and the community of people who advocate for the disabled,” Gilbert-Kaye’s daughter Hannah said. “It provides joy, love, adventure and celebration: all the qualities my mom embodied.”

Circus performers set the stage with juggling, unicycles and feats of balance, and Poway Mayor Steve Vaus joined the group to sing “God bless America.”

Goldstein lost an index finger in the shooting, and on Sunday, he wore bandages on both hands and slings on both arms. But he urged the audience to focus on love instead of loss.

“Every footstep is a mitzvah,” or good deed, Goldstein said. “Every footstep brings light to the world. Every footstep is a memory of Lori.”


The annual Friendship Walk, at Liberty Station, is the Friendship Circle San Diego’s largest fundraiser of the year. TThis year’s walk honored Lori Kaye, who was shot and killed while attending Passover service at Chabad of Poway. Pictured here is a Mitzvah wall, in honor of Mrs. Kaye. (Nancee E. Lewis)

Alexandra Hirschhorn, who has triplet 17-year-old daughters, two of whom have special needs, said Friendship Circle helped restore normal routines to a life scheduled around therapy and special education.

“When you have kids with special needs, your life priorities go out the window, and what many people take for granted — social, spiritual and religious (activities) — goes by the wayside,” she said. “This fills that void, so the kids grow up as kids, and the parents get a break.”

Although she didn’t know Gilbert-Kaye well, Hirschhorn, like the other participants, felt her absence.


“It’s a terrible loss, because she was always happy to contribute, with a great smile,” she said.

As the walk wound down, Hannah Kaye hugged old friends and new ones, wearing a collection of necklaces that were gifts or hand-me-downs from her mom, and Gilbert-Kaye’s bright pink sweatshirt from the 1980s. Amid her grief, she said she is thankful that her mother’s spirit of hope and happiness endures.

“I’m just fill of gratitude for everybody,” she said. “The community I come from is resilient, and the epitome of kindness, the epitome of love. I know my mom is ecstatic about it all.”