Though the cast of characters in Doki Doki Literature Club may not be as robust as some other dating sims, it makes up for this by packing each of them with so much intrigue and emotion, that they feel particularly special and vulnerable. For this reason, it’s all the more petrifying as you watch them be plunged into torment from which they can never escape. That’s what you get for having feelings! Trying to rank the Literature Club members is ultimately a display of personal preference, and if you were to shuffle through twenty different lists, you’d likely get twenty very different results. With all this said, we have stepped up to the plate to offer our bold attempt. If you disagree, be sure to leave a comment with your own list! If you’re not sure what all this is about, and just want to learn more about Doki Doki, take a cheeky peeky at our list of top DDLC mods. And if you’re Monika, then stop breaking the fourth wall, dammit! It freaks us out. TIP: Spoilers ahead! Ahaha! …That’s my advice for today! Thanks for listening~ 5. Protagonist Hey, it’s you. Someone had to be last, and it probably lessens the blow for the rabid fans of each girl if we extend the list to include the nameless player character. Unlike most games that take place from the first person perspective, there is a definitive divide between the protagonist and yourself, so although you steer the course of his actions throughout the game, as you progress deeper, he becomes more of a puppet – a facsimile of a man, and the vessel through which the existential chaos may be unleashed. Too deep for you? I named mine Beef. Because he is intentionally written to be vague and moldable according to the will of the player, the protagonist doesn’t have as many discernible qualities as the other characters, by design. We know he likes cute girls, we know he is loyal and trustworthy, and we know he is a bit of a failure; opting to sit around and play video games, instead of dedicating himself to embracing adulthood. It’s like holding a mirror to the parallels we all face, and it’s rather troubling. By the game’s latter stages, the guilt floats around like a balloon in an updraft. Are you to blame for all of this, or is the venerable Mr. Beef? It all plays into the mind games that made Doki Doki so popular to begin with, and it may leave both you and your character a dishevelled mess.

4. Sayori Wait a minute, so we put a girl whose crippling self-doubt and apparent lack of worth lead to her committing suicide… at the lowest position of all of her friends? Why, yes! Yes, we did. We’re just that cruel, and we’re not even a little bit sorry. Sayori is a sweetheart, and the protagonist’s childhood friend. She is second-in-command only to Monika, and her calming disposition makes her capable of putting an end to any fight. Despite this, she is riddled with inner turmoil, wanting everyone to be happy and driving herself off the ledge trying to find a way to do this. She is the lone shining light in the darkness, and her demise is symbolic of the game as a whole – not even the truest optimism can overcome impending death. Ultimately, Sayori’s early exit results in her getting a lot less airtime than the other characters, and it is mainly for this reason that she sits so low. She does make a return in Act 4 after Monika’s deletion, now the president of the literature club and possessing the same self-aware traits that her predecessor did, and that may be her at her most captivating. She doesn’t have the guile and maliciousness of Monika, so she finds herself unable to act as ruthlessly, when given the same power. Perhaps she should seek out Matt Hardy’s wisdom on the finer points of deletion?

3. Yuri Timid, apologetic and introverted, Yuri is all kinds of weird. She has a fascination with surrealism that can border on the morbid side, but is lacking in conviction, and on most occasions, would much rather just go unnoticed than speak out. She is repressed to the umpteenth degree, and this can sometimes lead to sudden outbursts that take everyone aback. Or, you know, stabbing herself in the chest repeatedly. Which also tends to take people aback. For all of her quirks, Yuri has trouble making new friends, and it is truly touching to see her begin to open up to the protagonist, allowing you to see all of her positive qualities. She’s a generous, thoughtful person held back by her own perceived lack of importance. Once Act 2 kicks in and Monika begins to tinker with her code a little more, Yuri’s descent into full-blown insanity can be particularly devastating to watch. So why does she only take home the bronze in these illustrious standings? It mostly comes down to sizzle and razzle -dazzle, really. Some love Yuri’s understated elegance, while others prefer the charismatic directness of the two characters yet to come. Perhaps it all comes down to what you connect to more, on a spiritual or emotional level. In the case of this list, it’s not quite so profound. A reminder: I named the protagonist Beef, guys.

2. Natsuki Standing less than 5 feet tall and with a love for all things saccharine sweet, Natsuki is your resident pocket rocket, and her boundless energy is sure to warm your heart! At least, until the game removes said heart and turns it to blackened stone. But hey, she tried, right? The antithesis to Yuri, Natsuki likes the simple pleasures in life. With her pink hair and cheeky smile, she prefers for her poetry to be light, bright and to the point. She feels that not everything needs to be quite so dire and grim, and for this reason and more, she often finds herself at odds with Yuri. That purple-haired sulker can be such a killjoy sometimes! Will you, therefore, find joy when she gets killed, I wonder? With so many agendas and subterfuge running rampant amongst the Literature Club, Natsuki is a breath of fresh air. Sure, she can be blunt, and even brash at times. But she never compromises her beliefs, and her determination in the face of detractors is nothing short of inspirational. Because if she thinks that prose should focus on matters like bunnies and cupcakes, then the people need to know this.