Calling people out on privilege, or bigotry, or any of that is a moment of being vulnerable. I am opening up to try and explain why what someone did hurt, and why the other person should start to take steps to never cause a hurt like that again. And when the reaction is that I chose to take something wrong, I don’t open myself up again. I shouldn’t be expected to.

A display of privilege is like knocking someone off a cliff. You did something, you knocked them over, and they fell down the cliff and were hurt. Maybe you didn’t mean to. Maybe you were just walking and you tripped, or maybe you walked up and shoved them, or maybe you just weren’t looking where you were going. Maybe you had your headphones in while jogging and singing your song and bumped into them. Maybe you body rushed them off the cliff. Hell, you could have picked them up and chucked them over the edge.

It doesn’t matter. What matters is that your actions caused someone to fall off a cliff, and hurt themselves–cuts, scrapes, a black eye, a broken arm. And they told you that’s what happened, and show you the cuts and scrapes and bruises and cast. And the appropriate response? Is to apologize and take steps to try to not do it again and help them heal. Not to say that you didn’t mean to, or that it was an accident, or anything else. It’s to apologize, and do your damnest never to do it again.

When the response to telling someone that they knocked you off a cliff is “I’m sorry that you chose to break your arm when I pushed you off that cliff, but you shouldn’t stand so close to ledges, after all I’m standing over here and I’m fine, and my culture has a history of pushing people, it was an accident, you have to see it from my side, I was running, the push wasn’t that hard, don’t you think you’re overexaggerating, maybe your bones are just too brittle, it’s only a little wound, your arm will heal up anyways, I’ve had bigger bruises, and let me tell you about that time I tripped over a pebble and scraped my knee that hurt a whole lot more” and a shitton of excuses and bullshit–turning it back to them and ignoring your pain–they shouldn’t be surprised that you walk away and you avoid standing by them again, or cross the street when you see them walking nearby.

And if that person then pouts that I won’t stand next to them or take walks with them anymore? Fuck em. Why in the hell should I stand next to you? Why should we be close again? Why should I walk near you? Fuck you. Now not only do I know you’re not sorry for pushing me over–but I now have the absolute joy of knowing that anytime I walk next to you and a cliff comes up, I have to think every time that you could shove me over the cliff again. I never know when you’re going to swing out, and I’m going to fall and get injured again, and get the same shitty reaction.

Given the past reaction when I showed you my broken arm, I’m inclined to believe you won’t be sorry the second time, either. I doubt you’ll even muster the damns to call for help.