"FUCK IT, I'M DONE," stated Timbers fan Ron Jayson. "We are so doomed, everything is shit. Let's just sell everyone and call it good."

According to soccer expert and part-time blogger Damien Farnsworth, the Timbers main problem was, "the defensive transition through all the zones that I can't quite recall right now but exist as soon as I get to a computer to look up what the zones are and how to phrase them correctly."

Fans in attendance say that the mood on the bench was grim as a lip reader stationed across the field with binoculous reported on twitter that, "Savarese very upset, maybe. Or maybe he wasn't, I'm not sure, but it looks like he might have been upset. #rctid"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as an upcoming victory in pre-season convinces Mr. Farsworth that the team will win MLS cup.