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A STUDY conducted by the World Wildlife Fund has revealed that people could be ingesting an astonishing 5 grams of plastic a week, such is the ubiquity of plastics in our societies.

However, those seeking to partake in a balanced diet may be worried their inadvertent consumption of plastics through plastic bottles and shellfish consumption is not at the recommended levels.

With a third of all plastics leaking back into nature, it should be easy to up your consumption and get all the vital nutritional value you’re missing out on if you’re not chowing down on plastic. Don’t get jealous of how much animals unintentional eat plastics, instead, learn from them.

When eating food from plastic containers it may be wise to first spoon out all the food into a bin and wash the container before ingesting the plastic. Use a knife and fork to carve up the plastic into smaller, nearly impossible to notice pieces.

Soon you’ll have all the same intestinal problems your plastic heavy diet friends have.

Over the course of a year the average person can consume 250 grams of plastic. But why spread it out when you can carb-load your plastics in one sitting.

Your fridge should be packed with plastics which aren’t even suitable to recycle so why not have a cheat day and consume it all, it’s not like there is any other way of finding a harmless way to dispose of it.

Tomorrow on WWN Health & Fitness: do you really need lungs? We remove the intern’s ones to find to find out!