Mr. Nice Guy: Bud Stevenson

Just a couple of mornings ago, as I was putting on my sneakers – running shoes? – I noticed they looked like it was time for retirement. I figured I would get a pair of Nike’s or the equivalent. That decision changed abruptly when I sat down to watch Fox News and saw the story of the most craven behavior in modern corporate history. It turns out that Colin Kaepernick, who needs no introduction, didn’t like the new model that Nike had already distributed to many, or most, dealers. I’m sure you know the story, but just in case, what his majesty Mr. Kaepernick objected to was the “13 Colonies” flag. You see, the flag was first made by one of the heroes of the American Revolution, Betsy Ross.

So, what was the crime? Several of the original colonies – later states – still embraced the institution of slavery, and did so until the time of the Civil War. By now you know that Nike saluted and said, “Sorry, Mr. Kaepernick, we’ll pull them back from all the dealers, and, sir, it will never happen again.” Think I’m exaggerating? Did you see the statements from Nike’s senior management? They gave total veto power to an unemployed NFL quarterback over any new product they wished to introduce.

Of course, Nike has the right, actually obligation, to do what is best for the shareholders, and their sales did not suffer when Kaepernick was first signed on as the company mascot. I say “mascot,” because, these days and probably far into the future, when you think of Nike, you’re going to think of Kaepernick. Undoubtedly Nike knows far more about marketing than I, and other conservative critics, will ever know. And Nike didn’t suffer when the first Kaerpernick flare-up broke. I was going to say I wish them luck, but I don’t. I hope the company and its shareholders suffer financially for hiring a man who hates the symbols of the origin of our country.

Now I’d like to bring up a story that definitely affects many of our fellow residents in Fairfield and Suisun City – the church that most Americans used to call simply “Mormon.” Now, as a few more months have gone by since the “divine revelation” was revealed to Russell M. Nelson, the church president, the church is cracking down on the use of the name “Mormon.” The revelation said, in no uncertain terms that “God had impressed my mind the importance of the name he has revealed for his church.” Nelson said that church members should no longer refer to themselves as Mormon. Furthermore, the use of the initials L.D.S. is banned by Nelson, and once again, he insists that he is simply relating, not his own opinion, but divine revelation.

It seems like this edict about banning traditional terms of the Mormon church is an echo of the doctrine that dominated the Catholic church for centuries. It was referred to as “papal infallibility,” and meant just what it sounds like: if the pope said it, it must be true. Disagreement could result in temporal and even divine punishment. You may remember that Nelson said that the use of the term “Mormon” is, in fact, satanic. I’m not certain what the condign punishment would be for church members who strayed off the linguistic path.

There is a paradox at work here, in my humble opinion. Mormons usually rank high in every aspect of their lives. They excel in school, they excel in business, they are among the most law-abiding communities in the United States, and, you may have noticed, they make up a substantial number of doctors, dentists and other caregivers right here in town. I just heard a story on NPR that might, at first, seem unrelated, but I was shocked to learn that the largest group of long-haul truck drivers in California are Sikhs, primarily from the Punjab provinces in India. They always wear turbans and often have beards.

So what’s the point? Easy. As many, or most Mormons do, Sikhs take their religion very seriously. They pray at great length every morning in their trucks. And, by further coincidence, they have a reputation for obeying the law, something they share with members of the Mormon church. Or to be perfectly correct, I should have used the correct term: members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

More seriously, church members are now in the midst of rebranding any institution or group that still uses the term “Mormon.” Except the Book of Mormon itself.

Bud Stevenson, a retired stockbroker, lives in Fairfield. Reach him at [email protected].