Now NOW…I’m not saying I have no life as in I literally don’t have one, but…there’s an important aspect of this battle I don’t think niggas realize. And it’s a number…

This battle is longer than the following goddamn movies.

Stand by me, black dynamite, fast times at ridgemont high, liar liar, office space, beauty and the beast, paranormal activity and the fucking LION KING which I didn’t even KNOW was only 89 fucking minutes. Reviewing an hour and a half long battle (which by my standards requires MULTIPLE WATCHES) and somehow condensing it into an article that’s entertaining enough to read yet informative enough to only get told “you don’t know mook and you don’t know what you’re talking about!” A few times is enough to make ones mind snap like that lil Jon dance y’all swear you never did.

Huh? Just me? I’m that old huh? Well that’s depressing…

And yes…I know the battle doesn’t start the second I tap the play icon but Christ this is a LOT of battle rap to unpack…plus it gives me the excuse to NOT type some background info for either of them. You know the deal, you see their chains. Nothing better than the cultures standards being an assist for once so I don’t have to type more shit than I already fucking have to. Y’all enable my laziness and I love you for that.

So the battle has a slow build up…ha…no it doesn’t. Even the intro is hammering home the significance of verb vs mook. Round 1. Lets go.

Round 1. Mook.

Oh the god has returned in all of his glory with a complimentary du-rag and an audience with rapturous praise…no seriously…I had to change headphones because the crowd nearly blew out the speakers in my fucking EarPods. JESUS didn’t get this kind of ovation when he rose again.

Mook rapped with a Transylvanian accent for a Frankenstein scheme…I love this fact way too much and you should too because if you don’t…the terrorists win. I liked this mook round. Didn’t love it, just…liked it. It’s a good warmup round loaded with everything and a shoe scheme I don’t see talked about nearly enough but I feel like he was trying to tick all those url attribute boxes (you know…wordplay, aggression, punchlines, wit, lyrical, performance, narnia, thanos, Christmas, frieza, generosity, earth, fire, wind, water, heart and other vaguely defined strengths.) than battle verb. A third of this round could’ve been directed at ANYONE. this was more of a crowd catering round than a direct one which tends to be the case for most 1st rounds. Get the crowd hype, have them spilling their drinks, people rush to the bar to get a refill…everyone wins. But I liked this round. Good start. Let’s see what verb does.

Round 1 verb.

I…was…soooooo rocking with this intro…until it turned into what I dreaded it would turn into. A black panther angle…you know, I’m AMAZED at how quick this well has been drunk dry. The movie came out in February and the shit was dried out by battle rap in June…that being said, I WISH I had as much fun doing ANYTHING as verb does in this first round…BUT…for someone who wants to battle lux, he’s using one of the key components that lux uses…preaching…and his slogan…Jesus fuck…”it’s time to eat…Ima go noodles like a college student…” that line almost made me give mook the round…not because it was trash but because I don’t need a reminder of the BROKEST I’VE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE. remember what I said about how the 1st round is meant to cater to the crowd most times? Yeah…this is why I said most times. Verb was direct, on point and merciless and you can’t give an opponent like mook a chance to recover. I remember a line I heard in def jam fight for ny “a beaten dog may fear you, but the second you turn your back it’s gonna strike.”…d-mob needs to be reported to the aspca but the line still stands.

Round 2 mook.

An alcoholic scheme…where I hear the line “that’s whiskey business.”

Even MOOK can’t believe he said this shit Elmer Fudd sent him when he needed a closer to this scheme…and then repeats it…multiple times. And then we get…something resembling double time. For those of you that don’t know or shit on grindtime/KOTD battlers for doing so and saying it’s a trash concept, double time is basically multis rapidly fired. You know…the same shit a lot of y’all swear is trash yet saw you praising mook for doing it? Yeah…that’s double time. It’s a great way to get a lot of punches in without having the need for an excessive amount of build up at the cost of delivery…wait wait wait…”you got worked by a dirt smurf named twork, off his name alone you shoulda known you suppose to shake his ass up!”

y’all have NOOOO idea how entertaining this round is to me…

“My aura got me (origami…pfffft…yeah ok.) folding a lot of paper…” yeah, this isn’t so cold when you READ IT. NO. READ IT. READ IT AGAIN…….AGAIN…….AGAIN!!!!…

I…uh…I don’t know if I can properly convey this but fuck it I’m going to anyway. I LOVE THIS ROUND…if you’re looking for bastardized wordplay that is RIDICULOUSLY enjoyable, this is mook’s magnum opus. It’s literally throwing bars at the wall and seeing what sticks and I totally get why this round was as overhyped as it was. This round is like when the club is jumpin and you got someone that looks ok enough to fuck and the only things running your desire to fuck is the atmosphere, adrenaline and that she has her own place. I know I’m suppose to be this over analytical reviewer, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love how deliciously ignorant this round is. Salute mook.

Round 2 verb.

Oh verb…have YOU got a mountain to climb…

OK…y’all heard the bar..so you’ll understand why this has to happen again.

Now that we got that out of the way…let’s continue.

“Here come the hate…he getting cracked.” Nah verb…the term “my dick hard” is just one of those statements you don’t make to hundreds of thousands of people…especially with a culture that’s quick to post pause pictures…that says more about me than it’s suppose to but anyway…

I can SEE why people felt this round was mooks. But…yeah…um…ok I can’t dance around this issue. This round was close…and that’s a goddamn problem. Verb should’ve had this round in the bag but there were things that didn’t work…at least in the haymaker department. Lots of great setups with minimal payoff yet what landed fucking LANDED. but was few and far between, damn shame…verdict at the end.

Round 3 mook.

Ok. I’m going to do some chores around the house while listening to this. I’ll be back…

Ok…this is one long name flip. A good one, but…BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…but mook actually fights back and gets booed AGAIN. I’m sensing a theme here…no…two…another double time…um…what’s happening here?…a breakdown of how verb and holla ruined the St. Louis battle scene and um…no. Remy d moved to Cali, magic wasn’t even mentioned and we all know what happened to yung ill…this angle shows mook isn’t as in tune with battle rap as y’all think. Everyone knows this info. Christ there another 12 minutes of this……………..hmmmmm…that light did seem a little loose…

ok back…it’s looking like my worst fear is coming to pass…an “aight” nearly 20 minute round. And there’s a huge problem with this.

Quality over quantity is a concept for a reason. When you have a round that is too inconsistent in its energy and only has hot spots instead of mostly being hot, the battle becomes a chore to watch. It loses replay value, and kills that views bottom line battlers are caring about again now that oxxy vs diz isn’t talked about as much…this is just…meh. Very meh…it’s either we get 6 bars and a decent haymaker or we get back to back good haymakers and then mook becomes stagnant…but that’s not what’s bothering me…there’s something about this round that feels…familiar. Something that it reminds me of…its a feeling that’s not suppose to make you feel BELOVED. It’s not HANDSOME, it’s ugly…it’s…it’s…holy shit…I solved it!

The last ten minutes of this round. Wow…I’m almost embarrassed I didn’t catch it last time, but this…this is every 3rd lux has ever done! No seriously…the parent shaming (replace verbs dad with mom) the character assassination, the pointing out of one’s adopted lifestyle being contradictory to how they move…this is a lux 3rd. It’s almost a preview of verb vs lux…that’s how much mook is utilizing lux’s tactics. It’s not a 100% bite, but more than enough to draw this conclusion and not have to use much to argue it. You can be Durag mook all you want…I still see lux’s pen influencing this round.

Round 3 verb.

The first two minutes of this was…kinda cheeks. I really thought verb was going to have the same problem mook had…hot spots with filler with no real emotional resonance. Then it got real. Let’s keep it a stack, this is probably the closest we’ll see to the verb that battled holla and I feel like he was trying to force that aura out when it’s suppose to emerge naturally. That’s how true battle rap moments work. You can’t force greatness out unless under pressure and verb wasn’t really under any. But again, quality over quantity. And that was a solid plan. Remembering that we heard mook for nearly 20 minutes and how that would get tossed to the wayside by simply being…better.

Ok. Verdict…verb 2-1. A solid 2-1 at that. There’s no way I can give verb the second because that was a moment we may never get again of a round so ludicrously out there that it was accidental brilliance by mook. Can’t give the 1st and 3rd to mook because he got outrapped and performed.

This was a chore to watch for its length…but it has some solid moments and the makings of a potential classic.

Even Zeus can fall from mount Olympus.

I’m maj of 15 minutes of fame and I’m out.

Peace.