Become the forbidden fruit.

American Social Hygiene Association's WWII venereal disease prevention campaign [ otisarchives3 / flickr

"Truth is, life is complicated. Sometimes having a fake internet girlfriend helps make it a lot less complicated."

I imagine that coming from a throaty, deliberate voice like that of Sam Elliott over a beer commercial.

But no, it's the copy that the site Fake Internet Girlfriend uses to pitch their service -- in response to a rhetorical "Why rent an online girlfriend?" Said service involves a quasi-fraudulent Facebook account that will declare itself "In a relationship" with you. It will also post syrupy missives on your wall, and send you messages at times apropos of your proclivities. All for a minimum three-month $750 commitment.

Intimate as that sounds, the relationship is never anything but online. The operator of said Facebook account is indeed a real woman (supposedly) who knows real things about her patron, but nary the twain shall meet.

The company says that some people hire fake girlfriends for purposes of invoking jealousy in exes; others for reasons related to their jobs. Most troubling, they also suggest using the service to deflect suspicion of homosexuality:

Sometimes people want to keep certain aspects of their personal life, well personal and private. The one way to do this is to hire a fake Internet girlfriend for appearances sake. It avoids all the pesky little questions about why you've never been seen dating a girl before.

Suppress your sexuality by paying to construct an elaborate system of lies. Make life "less" complicated.

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This and other services for fake Facebook relationships have been almost entirely marketed to men. Beyond quirky misogyny, that also carries the implication that we men occupy the lion's share of the market for consumption of moral depravity. For all other sexes and genders and preferences excluded by these sites, though: give it time. As Cosmopolitan posited:

Certainly, having a girlfriend can make a guy seem more desirable, and we totally understand why a dude might be tempted to use the service after a breakup to make an ex jealous. (Hey, in some of our lower, post-relationship moments we'd probably even consider using it, too, if there was a ladies' version.)

Some day women, too, might go to lengths to make their partners jealous. Maybe, some day.