A/N: Ta-da! A new chapter! If you also noticed, the fanfic has a new cover. I made it myself, you can find a horizontal version of it on Deviantart or Imgur. While writing this I was also doing some concept sketches for how I wanted to visualize the humanized Penguins in RWBY, but that won't be showing up on the internet until it's sufficiently good. I'm also happy to see the huge spike in views, but I'm disappointed in the lack of extra comments because it means I still don't know if I've been doing something wrong for the past five chapters. Anyways, enjoy!

"A wallet! A pair of headphones! Some house keys!"

Teams RWBY, JNPR and SKPR all sat close around the same column of tables at the cafeteria. Most of their eyes were on Rico, who was showing off his storage Semblance by spewing object after object in a bizarre 'game' with Nora, who was listing off as many items as she could think of for the unhinged punk to disgorge.

This 'game' had been going on for the past five minutes, although everyone on team RWBY and JNPR pretty much lost their appetite when it first started. The pile of items Rico had pulled out of his mouth had slowly been taking up table space.

"You must have dozens of items in there, Rico." Jaune said.

"Hundreds rather," Kowalski clarified. "823 items to be exact."

Jaune blinked.

"We do an inventory check every now and again." The gadgeteer said.

Kowalski then turned to Nora, who was still zestily spouting out more suggestions. "Nora I appreciate the assistance in practicing Rico's Semblance, but I think he needs a rest."

Rico grunted and shook his head, telling his brother that he was capable of continuing.

Kowalski was still unsure, but he relented. "If you insist, Rico."

"A backscratcher! A toy truck!" Nora continued. "Speakers!"

"Actually our speakers got broken the night before we moved." Private interjected.

"Thanks for the reminder, Private." Skipper said. "Kowalski, add 'Speaker Replacement' to our priority list."

When Rico spat out the toy truck, it rolled off the pile of items and slid down the table, only to halt at Blake's left hand. She was one of the few among the twelve that weren't watching Rico and Nora as she was too busy reading her notebook.

"Hey Blake, can you pass that over here?" Nora asked.

With a swift turn of her wrist, the Faunus girl slid the toy truck back up the table. Rico caught it and immediately swallowed it, sending it back to wherever it was stored.

Ruby used this opportunity to talk to her teammate, her concerns carried through her voice. "Blake is something wrong?"

"I'm fine." She replied with an indifferent tone, not even looking up from her notebook.

"You don't look fine," Ruby continued. "You look tired. Have you been sleeping late?"

"It's nothing." The girl in black insisted, closing her notebook.

Skipper got up and moved closer to the two. "Oh really? Look at those sleep-deprived eyes, and the secretive way you hold your notebook. Blake, you have the symptoms of PIO."

"PIO?" Ruby asked.

"Paranoia-Induced Obsession," Skipper explained. "Take it from a specimen whose tackled with it tooth and claw before." The commando pointed to himself as he said that.

"This is none of your business, Skipper." Blake retorted.

"Antisocial behavior. Another prime symptom of PIO." The boy added.

"Please, that's just how she is." Yang quipped.

Skipper spoke again, shifting from his natural charismatic tone to faux seriousness. "Yang, POI is no joking matter. Just ask Manfredi and Johnson!"

"Who the heck are Manfredi and Johnson?" Yang asked.

Skipper lowered his head and closed his eyes, acting as if he were at a funeral. "Such brave soldiers...Fell victim to POI."

Private spoke from further up the table. "I thought you said Manfredi and Johnson got lost in the woods and never came back."

"Kowalski, give Private the 4-1-1." Skipper ordered.

Kowalski pulled out his clipboard and filed through the various cover stories for what really happened to the infamous pair. After a few seconds of choosing, he put it down and spoke to his brother impassively. "You don't have the clearance level to access that information."

Blake asked Skipper. "Did Hans have anything to do with what happened Manfredi and Johnson?"

"Negative."

"Hans?" Yang spoke. "You mean that guy we-"

Ruby motioned to her sister to remind her about the secrecy of their activities.

"Actually, I'll ask you about it later." The blond girl said.

As if on the nick of time, the lunch bell rang. Their next session was Combat Training with Professor Goodwitch. The three teams immediately got up and headed out, leaving Rico and Nora behind as the two were stuffing the items hastily into the boy's mouth.

"Ren? Pyrrha? Guys? A little help please?!", Nora yelled.

"Rico you're not leaving until every last piece of junk you pulled out is back inside." Skipper said. "That's an order, soldier."

"Aw man!" The punk growled.

"You better hurry guys," Pyrrha teased. "You know how much Professor Goodwitch hates it when her students are late..."

One hour and thirty minutes later…

Pyrrha had just wiped the floor with Team CRDL in a 4v1. Up in the bleachers, Team SKPR keenly observed, gathering intel for the upcoming tournament.

"Kowalski, analysis." Skipper whispered.

The scientist put down his notebook. "Fascinating. Several moves had been precisely manipulated to ensure negative impact."

"Negative impact?" Private asked.

"A complete miss. According to my physics calculations several of those attacks should have hit, and instead of colliding with the target they miss just by a few centimeters. At multiple points during the match, members of Team CRDL stumbled, as if an external force suddenly came over them and caused them to slip their balance just a tiny bit."

"Silent, subtle, directed with care." Skipper added. "Adjectives to describe the most covert of maneuvers."

The four boys returned their attention to the arena, where Pyrrha had been dueling an exchange student named Mercury. After a minute or two of sparring, the exchange student had forfeited.

"Well that was disappointing," Kowalski remarked. "Not a lot of data to gather."

The bell rang, and Glynda made some last-minute announcements. "And remember, the dance is this weekend, but you all have your first mission on Monday. I won't accept any excuses."

As Skipper stood up he processed the announcements. "Dance? I don't remember anything about that during the briefing. Kowalski, clear this up for me."

No response.

"Where'd he go?" The leader asked.

The three glanced around the room, looking for their brother. Rico then yelped and pointed down towards the doorway. The trio watched as Kowalski asked some random girl to the dance. Although they couldn't hear the conversation, it was clear from the girl's motions that she wasn't interested. They walked up to him just after she left. As he turned to his brothers for comfort, all he received was a slap from Skipper.

"Eighty-six the lothario act, Kowalski! That dance is a waste of time."

Kowalski sighed. "You're right, sir. I'm just chasing phantoms ever since-"

The commando slapped him again. "No unauthorized flashbacks! We still have some cases to crack."

Rico cracked his knuckles and giggled in excitement.

"Stand down, soldier. That was a metaphor." Skipper remarked. Rico moaned dismally.

As the quartet walked out of the building, Skipper elbowed to Private. "Private, extract some snacks from the vending machine and report to Team RWBY's dorm at 1700 hours."

Private saluted and scampered to the vending machine. Meanwhile, his brothers went back to their room to grab their files. After procuring the snacks, Private was on his way to the dorms, cutting across the open park to get there. Feeling a tad peckish, he fished into his bag for some cheese puffs. As a result, he failed to see where he was going and he tripped on someone's leg.

"I'm sorry!" A familiar voice cried out.

It was Jaune, sitting under the shade of a tree with a guitar. The blond boy got up and helped Private pick up the mess.

"Thanks, Jaune." Private said. "Nice guitar."

"No problem," Jaune replied, helping him up off the ground. "I'm going to ask Weiss to the dance with this." He strummed a few chords as he spoke.

"Oh, how romantic," the Private said, tapping his hands. "Hang on a minute? You're not going to ask Pyrrha?"

Jaune paused from his tuning. "Ask her what?"

"To go to the dance with you." Private said, opening up a bag of cheese puffs. "Aren't the two of you in a-"

Jaune spoke, interrupting Private from finishing his sentence. "Well no...I figured since she's so popular, somebody must've asked her already."

"You didn't try to ask?", Private asked, offering Jaune some of his cheese puffs.

"No." The blond boy answered, taking a handful.

As the two finished the rest of the cheese puffs, Private stood up. "Well, you should at least try and give it a gander. Like Kowalski always says: 'You learn nothing without trying.'" He tossed the plastic bag into a nearby trash bin. "I have to go. Good luck, Jaune."

Jaune waved Private goodbye as the latter walked away. He then returned to his composing, but his mind was mulling over their conversation.

When Private arrived at Team RWBY's dorm, his brothers were already there, sitting on the floor with the girls and their files sitting in a pile in the middle.

"Aw Private, you ate the cargo again?" Skipper groaned.

"Just one bag of cheese puffs." Private replied, wiping the cheese dust off the corners of his mouth with a handkerchief.

As everyone took snacks from Private's bag, Weiss spoke up to review her information. "Alright, so the Schnee Dust Company records show that Vale has been the primary target of Dust robberies over the past few months."

Kowalski bit into a candy bar as he spoke. "Did those records include any cases for Schnee Dust Company robberies that weren't Dust-related? Any statistical anomalies?"

"Just a few reports of piracy. Stolen dust-processing equipment, mostly newer models. Based on eyewitness testimonies, they were White Fang, but Torchwick wasn't seen among them." The white girl replied.

Skipper spoke next. "Then it has to be Hans. That dastardly wretch leaves nothing but trouble in his wake whenever he's high-tailing the high seas. If he's stealing the latest in dust-processing technology, then he must be cooking up something way bigger than just a big heapin' bowl of revenge."

"So what did happen between you and him that got you banned from Vacuo?" Yang asked, grabbing a handful of chips. "Must be something pretty juicy if the law here in Vale doesn't even know."

"That's private, Yang. Between me, Hans and the Vacuans." Skipper took a sip from his soda can. "I'm Vacuo's biggest dirty little secret. Nobody outside of that kingdom knows about it, except for Hans and now you guys. So remember it, and forget you ever heard it."

Blake spoke next. "Well aside from Hans, we know that the White Fang have an operation in the Southeast. We have our first mission on Monday so we could use that as an opportunity to check it out."

"And we'll stay in Vale and see if Hans is still slithering around." Skipper replied, sticking his hand out to Rico, who passed him an opened bag of chips.

The commando motioned to his brother as he chewed. "Kowalski, crunch the numbers for me. I want them ground up like Dust powder."

The scientist pulled out his calculator and typed with rapidity, then started writing into his notebook. After a few seconds of calculations, he spoke. "There's 50.999 percent chance of finding Hans within three miles of Vale."

"Well at least is higher than a straight-up fifty." the leader remarked, disgruntled by the projections.

Kowalski reviewed his calculations. "The probability variables would've been higher if Hans wasn't aware of our presence in Vale."

Skipper asked again. "What about the girls?"

"Based on the geographical data and historical records, and accounting for Grimm concentration, I've calculated an 85 percent probability of the existence of a White Fang hideout in the Southeast. However any attempt at accurately determining the scope of their presence there is pretty much guesswork. " The scientist concluded.

"I'm not sure if I should be liking those odds." Ruby responded.

Team SKPR took their files in a few quick moves and stood up.

Skipper spoke. "Alright ladies, looks like we have a plan of attack all settled out. Good luck on your mission." He looked at Kowalski's watch. "Boys, let's pack it up. We've got some prepping to do."

He then turned to Yang and whispered in her ear. "Keep on eye on Cat Ears. Something tells me she's not willing to wait for Monday to get your investigation going."

The girl gave him a thumbs up as Blake glanced at the two skeptically.

Skipper pointed to Rico. "Rico, engage exit strategy."

The punk opened the window, much to the confusion of the girls. Then, with a salute, Team SKPR jumped out of the window in single file, grabbing onto branches in the tree just outside of the room. From the tree they flipped into the air and landed on the field below. The four ran off as Weiss shut the window.

"We should keep this closed more often." She griped.

A/N: To answer someone's question on other PoM villains: Sorry, not gonna show up. Maybe when I write the sequel that takes place during Volume 3, we'll see. Updates will be sporadic, but the story outline is set in stone. See ya next time! ^_^