Why should anyone benefit from something they haven’t paid for, asks MP with house paid for by you

Michael Gove has insisted it is unfair to expect to benefit from something you haven’t paid for, before returning to a house delightfully furnished at your expense.

Gove told Andrew Marr that people shouldn’t have to pay for things they don’t benefit from, seemingly unaware we bought him a £134 elephant lamp to furnish his second home.

“Yes, I benefit greatly from the light from that lamp, why do you ask?” continued a baffled Gove.

“This isn’t about me, it’s about students getting things for free, not MPs getting things for free, which is very, very different.

“Everyone gets the benefit of me being in the government, whereas students only go on to be doctors, engineers and business leaders that make no positive difference whatsoever to people’s lives.

“See, I knew you’d agree with me eventually.”

Taxpayer Simon Williams told us,”Nothing that man says surprises me.

“It’s a philosophical difference, unfortunately. If a Tory gets something for nothing, then it’s an earned reward for a job well done; but if you or I get something for nothing, then we’re just hopeless scroungers who need to be cut from the teet of the public bosom.

“He believes he’s worth it, but we’ll never see MPs getting paid what the public think they’re worth, because no MP would work for nothing.”