Interdimensional RED-Coded Contract

Crash Course

The journey to Lowee went without a hitch.

Not.

"Are you freakin' kidding me?!"

Actually, their plane crashed.

They didn't know how that happened, but someone caused one of their engines to go ablaze. That was a fun moment, Blanc cursed the whole way down while the rest of the passengers were either scared or panicking.

But things were quiet once they hit the ground, until Scout woke up, which he then proceeded to announce by dramatically shouting at the top of his lungs. He felt pain, but that pain just couldn't override the sheer annoyance and anger he felt right now. "Seriously guys! I know we ain't the most liked guys in Planeptune right now, but how the hell did they saba- sabo- sabeee-? Sabitaged our plane?"

Others began to stir and get up as well, Heavy released a pair of spooked children/CPU Candidates from his grasp. Though it took them a few seconds to release him, as in their own fearful shaking and shivering, the twins hardly noticed that they've crashed already and aren't falling anymore. "Is it- is it over?" Rom asked.

"Yes." Heavy nodded. Rom sighed from relief.

Soldier grimaced. His Kringle Collection was stained with alcohol and the owner was sheepishly backing away, hiding the now empty bottle behind his back. Demoman turned away and ran when Soldier pulled out a shovel, chasing Demoman while being chased by Pyro, who smelled a very flammable material to burn.

Spy scoffed at the trio and stood up, or tried to. A sharp, sudden pain in his leg prevented him from standing up; the french looked at what was wrong and deadpanned. "Oh merde." His leg was broken, and his very expensive pants were already turning crimson. "I liked those pants too." At least they had Compa with the Quick-Fix on board, so that shouldn't be a big problem.

"Are you alright, Miss Nishizawa?" Spy saw Scout helping the Oracle onto her feet. The merc silently praised his former student for making a good move.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thanks to you, Scout." Mina sighed and Spy nodded. Another good choice. Before they crashed Scout did everything he could to make sure Mina came out of this alive. The smile on her face also said that she was grateful for that too.

Scout felt his heart flutter and his cheeks blush. It was his first time hearing a woman (who wasn't his mother) thanking him heartfully. He didn't know how to take this and was embarrassed. Scout tried to hide that embarrassment with a cough. "Eh, it was nothing. It's the duty of men like me to protect women, yeah?"

...

Awkwardness could be felt and heard between them, so was Spy facepalming. At least Scout had enough common sense and dignity to realize that he fucked up and retreat. "Yeah, I'll just go… over there." Scout left the confused Mina alone, while she was still flabbergasted by his previous words.

Fortunately Scout's salvation came in the form of heavy steps coming towards them, before a fist punched through the doors. "GODDAMNIT!" Blanc roared, retracting her limb and kicking the doors off the hinges. "I'll fucking kill whoever messed with our goddamn engine!" The angry CPU stepped into the room, observing the status of the others. Spy was hurt, which was bad. Sniper seems to be trembling in the corner, which was weird. Everyone else seemed to be alright, which was good. And her sisters were safe and sound, which was great.

Compa peeked from the same door frame Blanc just arrived through. "Is everyone alright?" She asked, and Spy raised his hand.

"My leg appears to be broken. If you could use your Quick-Fix I would be grateful."

"Umm…" Compa looked unsure as she raised the device in question and Spy kicked himself for tempting fate. Because fate and luck were a bunch of bitches, just look at Random Crits. "I don't think it's going to do much." The Quick-Fix's body was broken in half, hanging on the cable to remain in one piece, and also the cable connecting the head with the backpack was severed. No matter how much Compa tries, she won't be healing anyone with it anytime soon.

Spy sighed. At least they had alternatives. "Fantastic. Dispenser?"

"Destroyed on crash."

"Then please inform Engineer that we need a new one."

"About that…"

"Oh no…"

Spy knew that tone. He hated that tone, that tone was bad, it was horrible. That tone always meant trouble. And today was no exception. Compa glanced at the twins hugging their sister, and then back at Spy. "Mr. Engineer won't wake up."

He knew what she meant, and why she phrased it like that. But even so. "He won't wake up?"

Compa ran her finger along her throat, which was the final nail in the coffin. Engineer was dead, they had no dispenser, and also...

"What about your... Re:Spawn System?" Mina asked, but Compa shook her head. "We crashed outside the Re:Spawn's range. It won't work until we carry Engineer back to Planeptune."

They have no Re:Spawn too, because "Fuck you." - The Author.

And worst of all, it's freezing in here. Like in Coldfront or Russia.

And Medic was back in Planeptune, drinking coffee inside their warm, cushy hotel. Not needing to deal with any of this.

Medic raised a mug to his lips and sipped its contents, the hot, dark beverage tasted bitter, but it was exactly as Medic liked it, and he savored every drop of it. It was one of the rare moments of peace, where none of his teammates were around to cause trouble. Even IF and Falcom, who stayed back in Planeptune, weren't with him as they have their hands full with people on the streets. It was just him, peaceful silence, and a mug full of delicious coffee.

And of course, an unconscious test subject back in his office.

But science could wait. An opportunity to relax without any of his teammates around was a rare experience, he couldn't afford to waste it with work. Even if a chance to experiment on a CPU Candidate was tempting.

However his moment of peace came to an end, in form of glass shattering in the lobby.

Medic slammed his mug down and rushed onto the scene, Blutsauger ready in his hands and Amputator resting on his hip, in case he needed some Random Crit goodness. But when the german arrived at the half-floor, he saw no one in the lobby. A window was broken, which was the source of the sound, but it seemed no one have tried to enter the building. Otherwise there would be a dead body on the floor and the Sentry Gun missing some bullets.

But the lack of a body wasn't enough to make him drop his guard.

Medic took a few steps further, cautious as if he was traveling through enemy lands. There weren't many places to hide in here, but that didn't exclude cloaking devices. No footsteps either, so they were standing still. A Cloak and Dagger user?

With the window forcefully open, Medic could hear how loud people outside were. Even more than when the entire riot started. But Medic ignored the rowdy folks outside and focused on finding the possible infiltrator. Now Medic wished Pyro or Heavy were here, as they could help him spy-check their home.

The German fired a few syringes at places he believed would be perfect hiding places, also listening for any footsteps that might appear due to the person dodging his shots. But there was nothing; his syringes hit the walls, and his ears didn't pick up any sound cues.

Still feeling wary, Medic stepped further into the room and examined the broken glass. There was a brick lying on the ground, someone had thrown it at their window. It just occurred to him that most of the public didn't have access to any cloaking devices, and he would detect any of Miss Pauling's men trying to hide with a Cloak and Dagger.

Which meant that this wasn't a case of enemy infiltration, but rather some vandals wanting to cause as much trouble as possible.

Medic rolled his eyes and picked up the brick, intending to discard it outside and fix the window later when Engineer gets back. But when Medic saw what was outside, his eyes widened.

"Away with the murderers!"

"We don't want you here!"

"Send them to prison!"

"They're hiding the CPU there! Let's get her!"

"Off with his head!"

Dozens of people, an entire mob surrounded the hotel. Civilians, ASIC, and Medic even spied few Guild members among the crowd. They were armed with pitchforks and torches, and they all focused their angry eyes at him. Few of them even pointed at the german once he got within their view.

"There he is!"

"It's that crazy, doctor guy!"

"Stop right there, you criminal scum!"

The mob rushed at him, with full intention of beating him up or worse. Medic of course had no plans of becoming a punching bag, and he stepped back once a few very brave (or foolish) people tried to grab him from the broken window. Those people quickly found themselves screaming when the Sentry Gun locked onto their limbs and mercilessly opened fire. They didn't die, but their blood stained the walls and no one else wanted to come closer. However people started screaming at him with renewed vigor, some even threw rocks at the merc, but even an infant would have more accuracy than any of those people.

Medic thought about his situation for a moment, before nodding to himself several times. He calmly walked towards the counter where the Sentry Gun was hidden behind, and grabbed a remote with a big, red button. The remote had a writing on it: "In case of emergency."

Medic pressed the button.

A bell rang loudly, acting as an alarm, while the edited voice of the Administrator announced what was happening.

"Alert! Lockdown has been initiated!"

Steel shutters dropped down on every potential point of entry, and additional Sentry Guns appeared around the room and rooms above them. Shotguns and pistols fell from the roof and onto the tables, with ammunition. A level 3 Dispenser magically appeared on the half-floor. How, you ask? With magic and sv_cheat commands, of course. Tables and chairs that could be used as potential cover for the enemy was swept onto Medic's side, where they acted as a barricade for the last stand.

The entire hotel was shifting to help fend off the attackers, courtesy of the team's Engineer. And it's sole occupant couldn't be happier.

"It's just like Rottenburg!"

They came for him, just like they came for his father and his grandfather and his grand-grandfather and his grand-grand-grandfather. It was his own turn to stand against an angry mob armed with pitchforks and torches.

And Medic has been preparing for this very moment all his life.

Blanc rubbed her face and donned her hat. "Damnit. Fine then, you guys stay here and try not to die. Keep Rom and Ram and the pilots - wait, are they still...?" The CPU turned towards Compa, who gave her a firm nod. The CPU nodded back and continued. "Keep them safe. I'll go to Lowee and send some help."

Rom and Ram immediately objected. "W-Wait! We'll come with you!" The Candidates ran towards their sister, but she placed a firm hand on their shoulders. "No. You stay here." Blanc told them. Rom and Ram were surprised at first, but then they pulled out their staffs. "But we can help! While you were gone, Mina taught us how to use magic!" The pink clad twin summoned some ice to show off. "I can fight with you, and Rom can support us!"

"I can heal people." Rom meekly added.

Blanc continued to stare, but then she sighed. The older sister walked past the twins and turned back towards them, her hands clamped together. "Rom, this man is hurt." The brunette pointed at Spy, who still had a broken leg. "He needs your help more than I need yours, there's also another man hurt even more who needs your help."

Rom's shoulders dropped in disappointment, the blue-clad twin looking at the ground as she walked towards the injured Spy. Her sister Ram glared hard at Blanc, but Compa interrupted their argument. "Actually, Lady Blanc. I think I can bring Mr. Engineer back. You see, Mr. Medic taught me surgery and how to heal people… without using the Medi-Gun."

Blanc turned her head away from Ram and locked onto Compa. The CPU did it so slowly that the nurse heard sounds resembling stones scraping together; blue eyes bored hard into Compa's thick skull while the blondie herself had no idea what was going on.

"Um, Bla-"

"THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE, WOMAN?!" Blanc shook the nurse by her collar. "Grab whatever you freaking need, and get to goddamn work!"

"Y-Yessir!"

Compa rushed towards the first aid cabinet, stumbling and almost falling onto the ground. She ripped the doors open, took whatever was there, and ran through the doors while Blanc continued shouting at her like a drill Sergeant. "And I want Engineer back on his feet by the time I get back here, are we clear?!"

"Y-Yes, ma'am!"

And it just occurred to Blanc, she was so worried about her sisters' safety that she's forgotten one small detail. Namely the presence of dead Engineer on the ship. If Blanc was to leave the twins behind, then there's a chance that they might see him and get traumatized.

"Blanc, I AM coming with you!" Ram demanded.

"Ram, you aren't going."

However going on foot to Lowee was dangerous. Harsh weather made sure that only the strongest of monsters will survive here, any of them more dangerous than anything Planeptune had to offer. Not to mention the cold, lack of food or troubles in transport. If she were to be separated from Rom or Ram… Blanc shudders to think.

But the pink brat huffed and crossed her arms. "No." She dared to say, glaring back into Blanc's eyes.

"What did you say, you little brat?"

"I said 'No'!" Ram threw her hands into the air. "I'm not letting you go alone! Last time you went somewhere alone, you disappeared for 3 years!" She exclaimed.

"That was because I had to go to the Graveyard, compared to that this is basically our backyard!" Blanc argued back, but Ram just put her hands over her ears and sang loudly.

"I'm not listening, LALALALALA!"

"Listen to me when I'm talking you damn brat!"

Suddenly, someone put themselves between both Loweeans. Both of them paused to reassess the situation, while Heavy glared at them. "Both of you, stop." He told them. "I go with CPU."

"You?" Ram questioned, not impressed.

"Yes. This snow is summer compared to Russia's winters."

Blanc took this chance to put a stop on this pointless argument. The brunette walked around Heavy (Goodness, she had to take two whole steps just to be at his side) and added. "See Ram, I won't be alone. Heavy will come with me."

Ram pouted.. "But we still want to come with you!"

"It's dangerous, Ram."

"That's why I want to come, Blanc. Safety in numbers."

The CPU resisted the urge to snap the little brat's neck. Her patience was running thin and she was still testing her.

What really shocked Blanc were Heavy's next words. "Do you promise staying back and far from danger?"

Ram's eyes lit up. "Yes!"

"What the hell, Heavy?!" Blanc exclaimed.

"We waste time arguing. It's faster if we just let them come."

Ram had a smug grin, and ran to deliver the news to her twin sister, who just finished healing Spy's leg. It gave Blanc time to send a death glare to the merc, but it didn't faze the Russian at all. Neither did Blanc's threat.

"If any of them gets hurt, I'll beat you to pulp."

"Okay."

The twins returned to them, wearing bright smiles and their coats, gloves, earmuffs, hats, and whatever else Mina made them wear to fight the cold. "Shall we go now?" Ram eagerly asked. Heavy nodded and opened the doors, or rather he punched the doors out. Heavy jumped out of the ship and landed on snow, which reached to his ankles, then Rom jumped out…

And she almost buried herself, the snow reached up to her chest. Rom looked up at Ram, unsure what to do. The twins didn't think this through, the snow was too fresh for them to move.

"Oh." Ram winced. She tried to think of a solution to their problem, but none of them would work with what little time and resources she had. Maybe if she turned the snow into ice? It turned out that Ram didn't need to do anything, as Heavy plucked Rom out of the ground and placed her onto his back. Rom held onto his jacket for dear life because of how high it was.

Heavy didn't seem to care what Rom was doing, he just waited for Ram to jump down as well. Ram took a moment to psyche herself. "Well, you asked for it." and the pink-clad kid jumped off the plane and into the snow below, creating a Ram-shaped crater from which Heavy picked her up and placed her onto his back.

"Woohoo! Piggyback!"

Blanc stared at those three with mixed emotions. She didn't know how to react upon the sight of an unknown old man, carrying both of her sisters and his giant minigun at the same time. The three of them looked up and waited for the last of them to join. "Come on, sis! We gotta move!"

Blanc meanwhile...

"Ma'am! I am burning to death right now."

...was wondering where did she go so wrong?

Soldier was lying on the ground, burning, and the merc himself was calmer than he should be. Pyro, the obvious suspect, was sitting cross-legged next to the fireplace. Mina was gone, Blanc hoped she ran off to find an extinguisher and the rest of the mercs were salvaging what they could from the ship, not paying any attention towards the fact their teammate was burning their other teammate.

It's official now.

"That's it I give up. Pyro, extinguish those flames." The CPU told the merc before joining her sisters.

Pyro looked around in confusion, it saw no rescue threat to its dying teammate happy and colorful place, but Pyro could've sworn it heard something.

The merc shrugged and poured gasoline watered the plants nearby. They bloomed and screamed sang happy songs while Demoman an adorable cyclops smashed rubbed Pyro's head.

Pyro went unconscious to sleep.

This wasn't a good day for Blanc.

"God. Damnit. I. Hate. This. Crap." The CPU growled under her breath. Her source of annoyance was this stupid snow that reached up to her thighs, making it hard to move and significantly slowed her down.

Meanwhile her sisters get to ride piggyback on a mercenary who seemed to be completely unbothered by this. He easily carried both twins, their equipment AND his own minigun, while snow for some reason seemed solid underneath him.

"How do you NOT sink with all of that weight you're carrying?" Blanc asked in disbelief. Better yet, why Rom and Ram seems to freakin drown in this snow while she can (barely) move around.

"I am Russian." Heavy stated bluntly. Blanc waited a moment for Heavy to continue… but the merc fell silent.

"That's it?" Blanc blinked.

"Yes."

"That doesn't explain anything."

"It does."

"Oh come on." Ram groaned. "Can you say more than just 2 words?" She climbed higher and lightly bonked him onto his head. "Nice hat, by the way."

"Thank you." Heavy said as he readjusted his Officer's Ushanka. "Your hat is nice too."

The conversation died down, and the group once again moved in silence. The area around them was all the same and boring, just like Ram remembered it. White snow, couple of trees, more snow, some river, even more snow, a beaten path, some yellow snow that both Heavy and Blanc steered clear away from. Ram was quickly getting bored and the fact that they can't move away from Heavy's back wasn't helping.

They're the lightest of the group, and yet they're sinking the most. Stupid, not logical snow that doesn't make sense.

"What is your world like?" Ram asked, just so she can have something to focus. "I mean, Scout told us that you're not from Gamindustri, so where are you from?"

"From Earth."

"From dirt?!" Blanc exclaimed in surprise, she even tripped and fell down onto the snow. Heavy stopped and looked at her digging herself out, with some snow still being on her hat. "You're from dirt?" The CPU said again, getting a nod from the merc.

"Yes, our planet is named Earth."

That earned him a laugh from Ram. "What a stupid name." She nudged her sister. "Isn't that right Rom?"

"Yes. Dumb." The blue twin chuckled.

"The CPUs in your world are probably stupid too, naming their world dirt." Ram continued to snicker. She imagined some airheaded, dumb, CPU thinking that dirt is a good name for their world and that you need to brush your teeth every day. She would probably be too dumb to mess with too!

"Ram, stop-"

"We do not have CPUs."

"Huh?" The goddesses were speechless, their thoughts came to a total halt. Blanc paused in her track and stared at Heavy's back, as he left her behind. The three CPUs were thinking the same thing - Their world doesn't have CPUs?! How!

"W-Wait. How can you NOT have CPUs? Who's leading you guys then? Who's collecting the shares?" Ram questioned, climbing over Heavy's shoulder and looking into his face. Heavy threw Ram off his shoulder for that, before picking her back up.

"We do not have shares on Earth, and we rule ourselves."

For better or worse - Heavy almost added. Remembering his own country and its mistakes. And with the memories of Russia came memories of his family… and now Heavy felt sad. When was the last time he contacted them? When will he get to do that again?

"I miss my family..." He said to himself. But he forgot about 2 pair of ears on his back, and they heard him.

"It'll be alright. They're fine." Rom reassured him, but he paid her no mind. His family was stuck in the middle of nowhere, with no society around them. Are they're alright without their brother? Is there someone delivering them supplies? No one knows where they live, they might starve to death.

Heavy took a deep breath, and then another.

They'll be fine, just like Rom said. His sisters are… not babies, not anymore. They are strong! They're strong, grown women! They can survive for some time without their brother to watch over them… They have to.

But the next chance he gets, Heavy will ask for a way to return.

While the Russian was musing over his family, Blanc pondered about Heavy's world, this… Earth. "A world without CPUs. That's… weird." And impressive at the same time. How did they protect themselves from monsters without a CPU? And she meant before they got all that fancy Re:Spawn and enhancements and stuff. How did humanity survive long enough to develop this technology? And what about their culture? What books do they have? Do they even have books? Or maybe they're using something else to hold their knowledge.

"Can you tell me more about Earth?"

"Yeah! I want to hear about it too!"

"Me too!"

Heavy groaned as he was bombarded with random questions, asking him about all sort of subjects and Blanc sometimes even used words Heavy did not understand. It was an annoying experience and Heavy started to regret his choice of tagging along.

After Blanc's group left, the people who stayed behind calmed down and got to work.

Some were busy salvaging what they could from the wreck, some were trying to get in contact someone, and some just goofed around and waited. Soldier in particular claimed that the (completely ordinary) toilet must've belonged to the president himself. The others had no idea how long he was there, but his presence made everyone else decide that it's better to do their business outside of the ship.

"Holy Mary mother of Joseph..." The merc whispered in amazement. His eyes dared to gaze upon the while porcelain, and he felt blessed to see this very shiny, very clean, very white, and possibly-even-belonging-to-the-president-himself toilet. It even had a hole at the bottom! The luxury of this thing must have been unimaginable!

Such perfect craftsmanship made Soldier doubt he was even worthy of this thing. For he was a sinner in his eyes and undeserving of Father's love. The merc dropped onto his knees, put his hands together, and prayed. "Am I an American worthy of using this presidential throne? Oh tell me Jesus Christ, the blessed founder of America, am I allowed to be even on the same planet as this beautiful toilet?"

"Soldier?"

Soldier's eyes widened. He has heard the voice of the Father himself! And he had a feminine voice! The merc wasn't prepared to actually meet the blessed founder of America at this moment.

Soldier raised his head. "Is that you, God?"

"No, I'm Compa."

S-So God's real name was Compa? Soldier was shocked that he shared this knowledge with him. This was something that every other american could only dream off!

"And what do you ask of me, Compa?"

"Oh, I just need some toilet paper to heal Mr. Engineer."

"You're going to bring back Engineer in exchange for toilet paper?!" The merc stood up and his eyes locked onto the rolls of toilet paper. "You got it, Compa! I'll send you as much toilet paper as I can!"

"Than...ks?"

Compa's voice died down from confusion. Instead of giving her some toilet rolls like she asked, Soldier flushed them down the toilet. The Nurse just noticed that there was a small misunderstanding here, but Soldier didn't listen.

"Umm, Soldier?" Compa finally tapped Soldier's shoulder. The merc turned towards her with a roll of paper in his hands. "Could you-?"

"Not now, Compa. I got a deity to appease!" Soldier turned back and forced the paper into the toilet.

The nurse could only stand back and watch as Soldier clogged the toilet with an absurd amount of paper, but despite that the merc kept forcing more and more paper through the tiny hole. Then Compa got an idea. Trying to be as silent as a dead mouse, the Nurse stepped into the restroom and quickly stole a roll of paper before Soldier could notice.

With a payload in her hands Compa ran as fast as her legs allowed.

"Hmm…" Demoman was in the middle of a very important debate. In his hands were bottles of 55% Dogoo Vodka and a 97% Deathstalker. Both of them were interesting but for completely different reasons. The bottle of the former said that it had some gel from Dogoos, which explained its blue color.

But the latter was 97%! What's more it was 97% of methanol! All of Demoman's former drinks had ethyl alcohol in them, but this one was different and had methane instead. This difference made this booze a unique specimen in Demoman's eyes.

He could take both of them, but those two were the only bottles of proper booze in this plane. The rest were either destroyed in the crash, or was some crappy knockoff that Demo wouldn't even give the BLUs. In other words; Demoman had to ration what he has.

In the end, Demoman stashed the Vodka in the cooler, and took the Deathstalker with him.

Then Compa entered the kitchen. "Ay, nursey! How's the Engineer?" Demo asked while opening the bottle.

"Hello Mr. Demoman." She smiled. "Mr. Engineer is still dead, but I know I can bring him back. I just need to get some more stuff."

"Uh-huh." The merc responded. He sniffed the beverage and was pleasantly surprised by the strong smell it gave.

"Can you help me? I need some methane alcohol."

The scot froze, cursing the convenient coincidence of him holding a bottle full of methanol right now. The merc was still as a statue while the nurse innocently followed up with "Do you know if we have some?"

In an obviously-not-suspicious-way-no-sir! Demoman hid his bottle behind his back. "W-Wah?! N-No I dunno."

For a moment, Compa's gaze seemed to be absolutely piercing, Demoman started to sweat as the blondie over there looked at him with curiosity. "Really? But I thought that the bottle you're holding had some methanol in it."

"W-What bottle?! I don't have any bottles! None!" He quickly hid the bottle behind his back, and smiled sheepishly. Nothing could've spelled 'Guilty' more clear than this. Which meant that Compa didn't buy Demo's lie and she stared at the merc with a face as adorable as a doll. Demoman lasted for a solid 2 seconds before he caved in and admitted defeat.

The scot took a glass and poured some of the alcohol into it, thinking to himself how could someone say no to her face. The liquid reached half of the glass before Demoman gave it to Compa. But Compa...

"Thanks!" She...

...She snached the whole bottle from Demoman's grasp!

"Bye!" Then the little thief scurried away while Demo was in a state of shock.

"COMPA!"

The glass of Deathstalker tasted… salty. WIth a little hint of Demoman's tears in it.

Sniper wished he could've stayed in Planeptune. He would've given some of his hats and money for an option to stay behind and sleep in his comfy, warm bed and not suffer in this cold hell called Lowee. He could keep the angry sheeple away all day, as long as it kept him away from Lowee and its sub zero temperature.

Right now, the australian hid himself under 27 layers of clothes, blankets and sheets. There were so many of them that they even hid Sniper's human shape. It looked like a giant pile of cloth with a human inside it.

But that didn't work. Even when Sniper covered himself with a ridiculous amount of layers, and donned the warmest cosmetics he could find, the chilly air still left Sniper shivering. It came to the point where Sniper feared that he might miss a shot! And that would be even worse.

While Sniper was so busy keeping himself warm, Spy took this opportunity to mock him. And because Sniper was busy keeping his blood warm, he had no mental ability left to think of some witty response.

"A bit too cold for you, Bushman?" Spy teased, but Sniper ignored him. Bickering with him was a waste of energy that could be used to keep Sniper's body above 37 degrees. Spy snickered and shoved his hands into his Puffy Provocateur, that was all the spook needed to handle the cold. Which left Sniper jealous.

"Should I bring you another blanket? Or maybe some hot chocolate?"

"P-P-Piss off, s-spook."

Spy smiled. This was a sight for his sore eyes, and he won't waste any second of it. However Compa had different plans.

"Um, Mr. Spy?"

'Yes? I'm rather busy though." Spy politely answered, not looking back at her. Compa took a few steps forward, and grew confused. "You're… looking at a pile of blankets, clothes and sheets. Umm, one of the pilots is cold and she would appreciate it if I-"

"N-No!" Sniper yelled, which spooked Compa. "T-T-They're mine!"

Spy laughed at Sniper's misery, and by accident he took a glance at Compa.

His humor died quickly.

"What happened?" The french asked, blinking from confusion.

There was blood all over Compa's body; her arms, her legs, her face even on her back! Compa was doing some sort of surgery on Engineer, so it was given that she would get dirty… but that was a bit excessive. And why was she carrying a blood-stained wrench? "W-What the hell were you doing, sheila?" Sniper asked.

"Well, I was trying to bring Engineer back to life, but suddenly this wrench broke." The Nurse raised the blood-stained tool, and the head fell off. Spy nodded in understanding, despite not having a clue what this child was doing. At least she didn't seem to be disturbed by the blood on her.

"Do you know if we have another wrench? Or maybe a hammer at least?" Compa continued.

"I-I have a hammer." Sniper spoke up and Compa turned towards him, beaming.

"You do? That would be a great help!"

"H-H-Here." Sniper dropped the hammer through the tiny hole he made for his face. That brief moment of his hand almost leaving the cocoon made his hand almost freeze. He retracted his hand as fast as he could and rubbed it to warm it up. Compa and Spy however were completely oblivious to his struggles.

"Thank you, Mr. Whoever-Is-Hiding-Inside-The-Pile-of-Clothes." Compa picked up the hammer. "Now I can continue the surgery!"

"That's Sniper underneath all of that." Spy pointed out. Compa stopped for a moment to process this new information.

"Oh. Thank you Mr. Sniper!" She said as she left the room. Spy was left wondering "Why did you have that hammer?"

"R-Reason-"

"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALE!"

Before Sniper could finish, something crashed into the ship. The shockwave was so great that it threw Spy onto the ground, and caused Sniper to cover the hole he made. He knew who it was, and Sniper regretted not staying in Planeptune even more. Angry folks trying to get him are a much better choice compared to him and the cold.

"Ha ha ha!" Saxton Hale laughed, dusting off the vest he just got. It barely covered his chest, but even he wouldn't go to Lowee without something to protect him from the snow.

Despite the fact that this vest was unzipped and thin like paper...

After the dust settled, Spy, Scout and Mina (who rushed there when they heard and felt the crash) were surprised to see the CEO of Mann Co standing proud before them. Hale was surprised too. "Oh, it's you guys. Wassup?"

"Mr. Hale? What are you doin' here, sir?" Scout asked, looking between the muscle headed mann and the big hole on the roof.

"Funny you should ask, moron." Saxton Hale said. "I was in the middle of hunting down a few monsters, when suddenly I had an overwhelming urge to travel where I saw you guys crashing, so I came here to loot your corpses and sell whatever I could find." He explained while playing with his magnificent moustache, before laughing loudly. "Imagine my surprise when I see all of you here, alive too!"

The mercs had no words to reply. Spy simply decided to keep his mouth shut while his former employer laughed as if he said something funny. Mina however, found an opportunity to learn something before Hale slipped again.

"Um, Mr. Hale?" The blue haired Oracle meekly said, catching the attention of the CEO.

"Yes? Who are you?"

"I'm Mina Nishizawa, the Oracle of Lowee and Histoire's colleague."

Hale thought for a moment, trying to remember who was this Histoire person. A few silent seconds have passed while Hale was busy remembering the name. "Ah right." He has met her before… probably. "She was that tiny weird lady with wings and an adorable hat, right?" Mina gave him a confused nod. "Alright, so what do you want?"

"Would you mind if we talked a little bit? I would like to ask some questions."

Hale shrugged and sat down. "Well, ya can ask. But don't expect me answering."

"Me and Histoire were curious, but we never had a chance to ask. How did you and Miss Pauling arrive at Gamindustri?"

The CEO laughed at her, while Mina kept a poker face. "Ahahahaha! Ain't that a question people want answered, eh? Pay up!" Mina flinched in surprise when Hale reached out his hand towards her.

"Eh?"

"You want some answers? Pay me some of those credits." Hale clarified. "Blasted folks back at the Guild didn't want to pay me for all of those corpses I brought, so I'm kinda broke at the moment."

"Hold on." Spy frowned. "The Guild refused your payment?"

"Nah." Hale waved his hand dismissively. "They paid me for the quests. But then they told me to get out when I gave them a bag full of beaten up monsters."

"The same bag you brought to us." Spy deadpanned.

"Yup." Hale nodded. "Where else would I dispose of trash?"

"I dunno, a trash can? God, do you how much that stinks?" Scout grimaced as he remembered that awful smell from yesterday. The CEO laughed at his misery.

"That's your problem now, champ. Anyway, my money." He flicked his fingers a couple of times, urging the Oracle to hand over her credits. Mina paid him, albeit a little reluctantly.

Saxton Hale started counting the bills, and he couldn't be more surprised. "A frail girl like you kept 20,000 credits in your pocket?" The CEO felt genuinely dumbfounded. He could break that lady with 2 of his fingers and she just kept 20,000 credits on her. What a madwoman. She also crossed her arms as if he offended her.

"I can handle myself, thank-you-very-much." Mina said in a passive-aggressive voice.

"Whatever you say." He shoved the money into his magnificent chest hair, and rubbed his hands. "Alright, you guys want the short, or the long version?"

"We have some time, so let's go with the long one."

"Okay, get comfortable then."

Interdimensional RED-Coded Contract

Crash Course

This is it, we're officially in Lowee. Hooray!

Responses:

- YORCHspartan117

This is going to be common thing with Saxton Hale. He does whatever he want, and will go wherever he wants. He will appear and disappear from story on a whim because all he wants is to punch and wrestle monsters in gamindustri, there's no motive for him to be with mercs and Histoire when there is nature to fight.

In other words: he's my Ex Machina.

And you're mistaken, the bag isn't important. Those were just monster's corpses that Guild didn't want, so Hale dumped them in a where he dumps his trash. The RED team.

The Alternate Beginning - that was my very first fanfiction (Danganronpa one), and it was horrible. So horrible that I removed it from site.

I honestly forgot about the BLU team, they were there just to pick up the job of defending Mann Co. when REDs disappeared. They're still holding the line.

Pirachu is in Lowee, so you can expect him soon enough. And Linda is in Leanbox, so you might see her too. I had to temporarily remove them from plot for their own safety as mercs were killing all ASIC goons on sight.

- Metastable

Yes, yes it is. I liked writing that scene.

- Guests (All 4. Seriously, just make an account)

Holy shit, is that a poem? - That was my reaction when I first read that, MortalitasBorealis was also surprised.

Yes, there aren't many non-lethal weapons in mercs' arsenal. So mercs might have to improvise a bit.

And in case you forgot. Nepgear's HDD prevents anyone nearby from using Skills and Magic.

If you tried to write a haiku, you did it wrong.

As for the CFW Trick, wait and see what happens.

- FourElemental

I don't want to include Gaben, that would be a poor comedy.

As for the Scream Fortress. When it's ready, I don't like 'special holiday' chapters because they break story's pace. If I want to put a goddamn wizard then I'll do it when it's appropriate.

- NaturalBornK

Yes, the plot i C.

- DatMeeM

I had no idea how to start the chapter, DOOM reference was the only thing that I saw actually working.

So many reviews, I'm happy.

- Harmless Orange