Right-wing pastor Perry Stone, best known for checking his phone while speaking on tongues, has the incredible ability to thwart natural disasters!

He claims he split a tornado in two… so that it only destroyed strangers’ homes.

You can hear it around the 1:38:30 mark of the sermon he delivered on Sunday — or just watch the clipped segment below. (Notice, too, how he defends looking at his phone while preaching.)

Now, this is where it gets real interesting as well. We’re at the T.L. Lowery Global Foundation Center, which is on a hill, and we’re preaching. And we do know the weather’s bad. There’s 240 people being mentored by the ministry in that room, most of them adults. And I noticed that my kids — I call them my kids, they’re teenagers — and they got their laptops out and they’re looking at radar. Well, about that time, and I can’t remember exactly, seemed like it was about 7:30 or so. My phone is going off. And sometimes I’ll keep my phone here. I’m not looking, but I can get an emergency call, or I can get a… something has happened. And so Pam is calling me while I’m preaching. And I know something’s wrong… She knows I’m preaching. And I said, “Everybody raise your hands for just a minute.” I took the call. She said, “Where are you at?” I said, “I’m at the pulpit preaching. Where do you think I am?” And she said, “Well, I thought you were, but get the people out of the building. There’s an F3 headed right toward Cleveland right now. An F3. And this is as bad as the one that hit Tuscaloosa, maybe a little less, but they’re bad anyway. I said, “Honey, there’s nowhere for these people to go.” And I looked out in the lobby, through the glass, and the chandelier was already going to the roof this way. Cars were bouncing up and down. And I said, “What do we do?” And then I knew we couldn’t release them, because getting to the hotel would be dangerous. And I said, “God, what do we do?” And so help me. I’ll never forget this, the Holy Spirit said to me, He said, “You remember all those old timers telling you stories of how they would pray? And God would turn something, all of a sudden?” He said, “Command that F3 to split like the Red Sea.” I could see Moses holding up his rod and splitting the sea. “Command to form two storms.” I did not know — you hear me — I did not know that storm, that F3, was headed toward my office in Cleveland, Tennessee. It had already jumped a hill and taken out 30 houses and killed 13 people. I did not know that. And I began to pray… You talk about people praying. And I said, “Command it to split.” And on radar. On radar. One of our young kids said… “Dear God, it was headed your way, and it split in half.” And one part — listen — the part headed toward [houses associated with his ministry’s employees] — That part stopped and faded. The other part jumped a mountain and took out fifty homes. But it never so much as touched our building — except it messed up a little awning on two buildings that we have… Now that doesn’t make me special. You better hear me, because it rains on the just and unjust. And sometimes you’ll get flooded and the center won’t. And sometimes your building is damaged and the other person’s is not. One guy came from Florida, he said, “Brother Perry, I thought I was gonna have to cancel the meeting, ’cause the old hurricane came through and took my roof off.” I said, “Brother, sorry to hear about it.” He said, “Sorry, nothing. I was going to have to spend twenty thousand dollars to get a new roof. And now my insurance is paying for it. Praise God.”

Good luck finding any news stories of a tornado getting split in half through prayer, though it’s a phenomenon that naturally occurs for reason that have nothing to do with religion.

More to the point, we’re supposed to celebrate how the tornado destroyed dozens of houses, and killed more than a dozen people, while only touching part of the church. (So what if a bunch of other Christians died as long as the people in that church were fine?)

It’s a hallmark of Christianity to celebrate supposed miracles of God while completely ignoring all the destruction those same miracles cause — like God “saving” one child in a plane crash while allowing hundreds of others to perish. That’s not good news. It suggests that God had the power to stop a disaster entirely… but chose instead to simply limit His damage.

In this case, Stone wants everyone to be in awe of how his prayers pushed a tornado so it took down 50 other houses. It’s not something anyone should be happy about.

But that’s the cruel God these people worship.

(Thanks to Kyle for the link)

