Hello once again, it’s Saltnori with another GG article. This time with a vengeance though since Dark Souls Remastered is making me salty.

Today we are going to go over the third deck list sent by one of you degenerates out there! And of course why not go over one of the sets that can potentially land you in jail in Canada (kappa)… Aka NO GAME NO LOLIS.

By the way I hate this anime and won’t be surprised if it got another set (NGNL Zero, which I actually enjoyed and liked)

I bet you trolls are real proud of yourselves with your lewd NIPPLELESS foils. Sadly I won’t share in your loli haven. Anyway it’s time to get started with the level 0s! I’d like to thank LittleAkiba for the card images before we start~

(Oh and once again, all translations are based on HOTC!)

HERES THE SAUCE:

4x INCESTUOUS COUPLE

[A] [(1) Put the top card of your Library in your Clock] When this is placed from hand to the Stage, you may pay cost. If so, search your Library for up to 1 Cost 0 or lower Character with either “Sora” or “Shiro” in name whose Level is equal to or lower than your Level, put it in any Slot on the Stage, and shuffle your Library.

[A] When this attacks, choose 1 of your Characters, and that Character gains +500 Power for the turn.

Ahhhh a “Riki” truly befitting of a degenerate, unfit even for level 1 or under at level 0. Normally I would love plusses like this but I can’t help but say I dislike this card a bit. You’re limited by being able to grab only level 0 characters in the beginning which kind of sucks since you can’t grab your plussing level 1 characters early on. To add further to the insult, Bushiroad only lets you grab incestuous characters (that’s pretty flavor tbh). The secondary effect is kind of nice though and it’s still worth running this to plus and grab your brainstorm or other level 0 attackers and of course using it at level 1 is definitely a thing which is why we still run it as a 4 of despite me complaining like a lil’ bitch.

3x OF THIS SORA WHO GIVE NO FUCKS

[A] When this is placed from hand to the Stage, reveal the top card of your Library. If it’s either a ::Game:: Character or an Event, put it in your hand and discard a card from your hand to the Waiting Room. (Otherwise put it back where it was)

[A] When this is placed from hand to the Stage, put the top 2 cards of your Library in the Waiting Room. If there is at least 1 Climax card among them, this gains +2 Soul for the turn.

HOLY SHIT this card is fucking nice. Free handfix and free mill! On top of which u can gain some massive soul output early to rush climax screwed opponents. This is definitely a card I can call good. You can use this card especially with the other level 0s in the set to set up milling climaxes on purpose sometimes if you want to be really spicy. Overall your best handfixer in the set IMO.

4x SHINY LOLI NEETS

[A] When this is placed from hand to the Stage, look at the top card of your Library and put it either on top or bottom of the Library.

[S] BRAINSTORM [(1) Rest this] Flip over the top 4 cards of your Library and put them in the Waiting Room. For each Climax card revealed this way, search your Library for up to 1 ::Game:: Character, reveal it, put it in your hand, and shuffle your Library.

WTF EVEN MORE GOOD CARDS! What’s going on! Saltnori you ask? I DON’T KNOW EITHER! The ability to be able to topcheck and leave it on top or bottom essentially turns this brainstorm into somewhat EZ mode early game when you want to sack early plusses. The fact that it’s a tap self SEARCH almost infuriates me. Definitely a 4 of because this card is just NUUUUUUUUUUUTs

4x NIPPLELESS LOLIS OH GOD DON’T ARREST ME FOR THIS

Now… I know what you’re thinking… But just hold up for a second. This card (other than being foil) is being run for a reason.

[A] When this is placed from hand to the Stage, look at up to 2 cards from top of your Library and put them on top of the Library in any order.

[A] At the start of your Opponent’s Attack Phase, you may move this to an empty Slot in the Front Row.

That’s right ladies and lolicons, this is your turn 1 PLUS. Ironic how just like this loli runs to an open slot, you run away from the PORISU. The top check 2 is really nice for making sure you don’t trigger climaxes on the first attack and just overall attack order later in the game. The one thing that kind of sucks is the 1k attack power but NGNL kind of makes up for that with amazing utility as you can see so far.

2x LESS LEWD LOLI TRYING TO BE LELOUCH

[C] If there are 2 or fewer cards in your Stock, this gains +1500 Power.

Speaking of firepower, this gives exactly what we need to kind of ACTUALLY KILL THINGS at level 0. Trading is extremely important at that phase of the game and unless you overwhelm your opponent with the easiest tri fields in the world sometimes, it feels kind of bad being unable to kill the opponent’s characters. This card obviously fixes that so running a few copies isn’t a bad idea at all.

IM NOT HERE TO KINKSHAME AT ALL. Let’s move on to level 1s!

4x FINALLY A NON-LEWD FOIL (yes it’s Sora BTW)

[A] When this is placed from hand to the Stage, this gains +1500 Power for the turn.

[A] CX COMBO When the Battle Opponent of this becomes Reversed, if “Super Healthy Space” is in your Climax Zone, search your Library for up to 1 ::Game:: Character, reveal it, put it in your hand, and shuffle your Library.

Ahhhh the classic Hibikekaze clone (Yah fuck Shimakaze) . This is obviously your main plussing combo and you probably know why we run runners not just for the sake of plussing. Opening up slots for other shitters to attack into is FODDER for this card and can net you easy plusses. I hope you get the idea.

2x WHY THE FUCK DID THIS TET GUY GET A SP

[A] [(1) Put a card from your hand in your Clock] When this is placed from hand to the Stage, you may pay cost. If so, from your Waiting Room, choose a Character with “Sora” in name and a Character with “Shiro” in name and return them to your hand.

Now this is quite the interesting pick. This NGNL player really wants to ensure that he gets his level 1 combo especially when 4x of incestuous couple riki seems like it’s not enough for him. Other than that this is a decent 5k attacker and at least it can grab your level 2-3s. Try not clocking climaxes too much with this card though cuz it’ll come to bite you later in the game.

4x LOLI WITH A BOOK

If you don’t have a Character with “Shiro” in name, you cannot play this from hand.

Look at up to 6 cards from top of your Library, choose up to 1 of them and put it either on top or bottom of your Stock, and put the rest in the Waiting Room.

DANK. MILLS. I honestly like this card and TOTALLY wish TTGL had something as cool as this :(. Being able to mill through the deck without using stock is important for many decks for first refresh and this card seems to do that really well. The condition isn’t even a real problem since your level 1 plussing combo has “Sora” in its name. It also can help with a very specific and SPICY top end card we will get to later… But yeah it’s almost like you can probably spam brainstorms with no repercussions as long as you have the hand size if you get one or two of these off.

2x SHIRO ADMITTING KAIJI IS A BETTER ANIME

Rest 1 of your Standing ::Game:: Characters. If so, search your Library for up to 2 ::Game:: Characters, reveal them, put them in your hand, and shuffle your Library.

OHHHHH plusses! This one is kind of nice since you can just tap your backrow like it’s nothing. It does kind of cost a bit of stock but if you care more about hand size then it’s honestly no big deal. This is also the last card in the level 1 line up which means 6 events! That’s pretty cool unlike the anime .

BEFORE WE HIT THE LEVEL 2s, HERE’S AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION 90% OF WEISS PLAYERS WHO OWN NGNL

1x SORA WHO VIOLATED SHIRO WITH THIS MASSIVE KING DILDO

[A] When this attacks, if the Level of the Character Opposite this is 3 or higher, this gains +6000 Power for the turn.

Looks like our NGNL player has a thing against BAD DAMAGE ECONOMY. Memes aside, if you dislike anti level 3 bombs because you leave a slot open, this card is for you. Unlike the bombs, it doesn’t always guarantee field removal but at least if it’s successful, you don’t leave an open slot on the field.

I just want you guys to know also before moving onto the next card there are options for anti level 3 bombs that do hard removal. However its in green which obviously this guy doesn’t run (IGNORING THE BEST COLOR LIKE A PLEB). For all of you who are new to this set, it’s NGL / S58-038 U.

1x THE BEST GIRL AKA JIBRIL, THE LOLI KILLER

[A] When you use the BACKUP of this, if you have a ::Game:: Character, choose 1 of your Characters in battle, and that Character gains +1000 Power for the turn.

[S] [Counter] BACKUP 2500, Level 2 [(1) Discard this card from your hand to the Waiting Room]

Ahahaha I bet you guys are mad there’s no anti-change. Anyway we already know we don’t run level 1 backups so this level 2 backup is pretty nice for actually being able to make our characters THICC especially at level 3. The most important part is that it’s Jibril, who is an absolute babe and without a doubt the best girl in the show.

MY FACE KNOWING THIS IS THE ONLY JIBRIL CARD IN THE DECK THOUGH

2X NOT SO BEST GIRL COMPARED TO JIBRIL

[C] ASSIST All your Level 3 or higher Characters in front of this gain +2000 Power.

[A] [(1) Discard a Climax card from your hand to the Waiting Room] When this is placed from hand to the Stage, you may pay cost. If so, choose a Climax card in your Waiting Room and return it to your hand.

This is the staple level 3 support these days but with a really nice secondary effect. You grab a climax for your level 3 game which can be really helpful especially when you have the wrong one in hand and can turn a current bad game into a potentially great one. Since our boi is running 2, it’s probably safe to assume he’s running RESTANDERS right?

WE’LL FIND OUT SINCE WE’RE ABOUT TO HIT THE LEVEL 3s LIKE RIGHT NOW

4x SHINY SORA IN A CHUUNIBYOU POSE

A] [Discard a card from your hand to the Waiting Room] When this is placed from hand to the Stage, you may pay cost. If so, put the top card of your Clock in your Stock.

[A] CX COMBO When this attacks, if “Defeating the One True God” is in the Climax Zone, you may put the bottom card of your Stock in the Waiting Room. If it’s Level 3 or higher, deal 2 Damage to your Opponent. (Climax cards are considered Level 0 for this effect. Damage Cancel can occur)

This foil Sora should have came shirtless is your main healer. Obviously if you’ve been playing the level 1 event, you were memeing and putting other level 3s into the bottom of the stock like a true memer. And yes, running this climax combo probably means we aren’t playing the climax for the restander. To summarize, if you set-up properly this is your main finisher and even then if you don’t its a healer anyway that gets past anti-heal. But playing this Sora means we’re probably running a higher count of level 3s like Monogatari no?….

AND YEAH THIS IS PRETTY SPICY IF YOU ASK ME. REMEMBER ONCE YOU GET YOUR BURN OFF, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU DO SOMETHING THIS TO YOUR OPPONENT:

2x ANOTHER FOIL SORA BUT PLAYING OLD MAID

[A] When this is placed from hand to the Stage, look at up to X cards from top of your Library, choose up to 1 of them and put it in your hand, and put the rest in the Waiting Room. X = # of your ::Game:: Characters.

[A] [(1) Discard a card from your hand to the Waiting Room] When this attacks, you may pay cost. If so, this gains +2000 Power and the following ability for the turn. “[A] When the Battle Opponent of this becomes Reversed, you may deal 1 Damage to your Opponent.” (Damage Cancel can occur)

So immediately we can tell it’s worth running this card for the dig X alone. This can grab your climax combo for your level 3 game and helps pay the cost ultimately for your pay 1 ditch 1 burn. It’s a pretty damn nice support for your level 3 game and an alternative for ending games when you need more UMFFF alongside your other cards. I highly suggest for those of you who run either the healer finisher or restander to play at least 1 copy of this because it’s that nice.

3x JAILBAIT SHIRO WHO SHOULD BE WEARING A ONE PIECE NOT A BIKINI

[A] CX COMBO When “Welcome, Gamer” is placed in your Climax Zone, if this is in the Front Row, draw up to 1 card, and this gains +6000 Power for the turn.

[A] [(1) Discard 2 ::Game:: Character cards from your hand to the Waiting Room] This ability activates up to once per turn. During the turn this is placed from hand to the Stage, when the Battle Opponent of this becomes Reversed, you may pay cost. If so, Stand this.

As hinted from before, we obviously don’t run the climax combo for this card. And although you can’t really see it, Shiro has 9500 power. The Climax + 2k support will turn her into 12500, which is honestly not bad. Of course you don’t go for this card when it’s going to be hard getting reverses (example: Rewrite). However it definitely is an option that you can run alongside your main finisher. This is a pretty neat strategy TBH when you crash cards and your opponent doesn’t really have a choice other than overplaying their own cards to reduce the chances of you pulling off a successful restand.

WE’RE ALMOST DONE HERE:

4x BOUNCE TRIGGERS

THIS IS THE CLIMAX FOR YOUR LEVEL 3 GAME. It’s really nice that this is a bounce because clearly we don’t run any early plays in this deck and this can definitely remove troublesome targets if triggered at the right time.

4x LEWD SHOT TRIGGERS

FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING TIDDIES… is what I would have said IF THE LOLI WASNT THERE IN THE MIDDLE. BTW this combos with your level 1 game obviously. I want to stress that this is the foil version and the nonfoil only has the loli so AT LEAST some good choices were made here to some degree. Triggering this at level 3 can probably win u like a game or two.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This is definitely a fun way to play NGNL and pretend you’re a smart fucker at the end of the game if you pull off the burn. On the other hand, it definitely has its flaws. The lack of a good level 2 game is probably going to make you suicidal especially if you go against decks like Hina Logic which can memory kick all your shitters into oblivion, which seems pretty much insta-lose to me. The good news is… WHO THE FUCK plays Hina Fucking Logic . You can’t respond to early plays as well as other decks which really makes it important you pull your level 3 game off and stay ahead in damage otherwise it might be over for you… As for the strong points I do think its level 0 and 3 game can be potentially really strong and should be taken advantage of. It can pull ahead with resources thanks to the OP brainstorm and the tools to topcheck and mill through.

FINAL RATING: JIBRIL IS STILL BEST GIRL

Sadly now that I’m done writing this I have to probably check the front door. The FBI is probably waiting for me…

SALTNORIYUZURIHA PCING OFF AND HOPEFULLY IM NOT IN JAIL THE NEXT TIME I WRITE AN ARTICLE.