As much as you love Britney Spears — and hearsay is that people love the pop star with a passion — you have to concede to the fact that she’s not the brightest crayon in the box. Hilarious, yes. Able to make ridiculous expressions at the drop of a hat, also yes. A hero to all obsesses with junk foods, absolutely. But some of the things that come out of her mouth are absolutely ridiculous… and I have some ridiculous Britney Spears quotes to prove it.

By combing through the extensive catalog of her career, I found some of the most cringe-worthy Spears quotes, lines that totally make you want to roll your eyes, pat her head, and point her in the direction of Google… or a book… any book. And spoiler alert: Spears seems to hate using maps as much as she loves eating Cheetos, and Starbucks for dinner. Then again, that's the American dream, really. Who doesn't wish they could have Cheetos and Starbucks for dinner?

With a lot of love, and a lot more understanding, we present to you a smattering of the most ridiculous things Britney Spears has ever said. We've all had those moments sometimes, so try not to judge her too harshly.

“The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.”

Oh, honey. At least you seem to get that it's not the same as America.

"I always listen to 'NSYNC's 'Tearin' Up My Heart.' It reminds me to wear a bra."

What? Why? I mentally went through the entire lyrics to see if there was any Victoria's Secret references I just completely glossed over as a child, but no. Equally disturbing is the fact that Britney would NEED a reminder to wear a bra.

"My family, we walked around the house naked, we really did. By the time I was 13, my dad was like, 'Uh, Britney, it's time to start covering yourself up.' I'm very free like that."

Honestly? I'm a big supporter of people expressing themselves in whichever way they want. HOWEVER, this gives some preeeeetty important context for the Spears family dynamic, and you'd be lying if a little voice inside your head didn't say, "Yeah, that makes sense."

“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”

I literally just put my head in my hands and rocked back and forth when it came to this one.

“Sundance is weird. The movies are weird — you actually have to think about them when you watch them.”

Jesus Christ, this one is a joke that writes itself. Guess I'm not taking Spears to that David Lynch film festival next week.

“[Crossroads] is not a Hollywood movie, it’s a real movie.”

As someone who has been subjected to Crossroads, and someone who recognizes it as a classically bad film unsuccessfully positioned to launch a pop star's acting career... no. Just no.

"I would rather start out somewhere small, like London or England.”

This was her response when asked if she would want to be on Broadway. Oh my God, Britney Spears. Never change.

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