As more and more people discover and read parts of my blog, I inevitably field a number of various questions around chastity. I do try my best to get back with at least a brief answer for each and every question that comes up, and many of them even become an entire topic for a new blog post. One question that seems to be asked most often is simply “WHY?“ Why the heck would I actually WANT to be locked in a chastity device and be denied orgasm? I write often about all of the orgasms/pleasure that Angel is receiving (at my “expense”), but what about MY pleasure; isn’t that important too?

Now, the easiest answer to that question would be to just go back and read my entire blog from the beginning! After all, that’s basically what the entire subject of ‘Thrill of the Chaste‘ is all about! 🙂 But that’s kind of mean.. I could never actually answer one of my readers in that way! Lol I am into the 100’s of posts now, so that would be an awful lot of content to sift through. And I do greatly appreciate the fact that so many people do read my blog and ask such thoughtful questions as they try to comprehend why exactly I do what I do, so I don’t think it would be fair in the least to just brush anybody aside and tell them that their question has already been answered, so go find it…

As I thought more about it, I realized that I have written pretty extensively on various blog posts about WHY I enjoy chastity so much, but I can’t recall ever dedicating one single post to that topic alone. So here it is! This should give a pretty good rundown of why I allow myself to be locked in chastity (and even ask for it). When I get this question in the future, I may very well start redirecting folks back to this particular page, so if that is you, please don’t be offended that I didn’t type out a personalized, lengthy response to your question. I think this should give you the very basics, and if you want to know more about literally ANY aspect of the lifestyle that I haven’t covered enough of here, please feel free to keep asking questions! If you ask about something that I either don’t know or don’t have any direct experience with then I will tell you that; but if I have any insights/opinions on the topic then I’m more than happy to share it!

First of all,

WHAT is Male Chastity?

Simply put, Male Chastity is a conscious decision for a man to not orgasm, either by his own hand, by “normal” sex, or by any other means. A period of chastity can last anywhere from a couple of hours to several days/weeks/months/years(?) at a time. It can be a decision by the man alone to engage in “solo chastity” or it can be enjoyed with the involvement of a partner. It can be as simple as using the honor system where the man commits to never touching himself in that way, or it can be enforced by wearing one of many different chastity devices that are available on the market today. I find that enforced chastity does become much more effective when done with a partner, as (s)he can take control of the keys and therefore make all decisions regarding if/when the chastity device should be unlocked…

For more information there are numerous resources online, or I could also recommend some light reading with The Toybag Guide to Chastity Play [Yes, a real BOOK! Lol]

Ok, so…

WHY would a man want to be chaste?

I’m sure if you asked 100 different men in this lifestyle why they do it, you would probably get about 100 different answers. So for the sake of this post I can only share my own perspective. To start with, and to elaborate on my above description of chastity, I should say that I do engage more in the realm of “enforced chastity,” and I do indeed wear a device for sometimes weeks/months at a time. My wife, Angel, is my key-holder, and I am never released or allowed an orgasm until SHE decides! So why do I want this?

Well for starters, I happen to enjoy the confined feeling of wearing a chastity cage. That’s not something that I can really explain “why,” but I would liken it to “why do you prefer certain foods over others?” or “Why do you like certain types of music over others?” Everybody is wired a little different, and I’m quite sure that not EVERY man would appreciate not being able to get hard because there are a couple of steel bars in the way preventing a full-on erection. But I enjoy it, so that’s pretty much that. When we first upgraded to a metal device, Angel did express some concern about it hurting me. I assured her that it really did not hurt at all, and it could actually be thought of more like a piece of jewelry… People wear rings, piercings, etc. all over their body with no problems. This is just a different place to have jewelry like that, and it also happens to have an added function of preventing erections! Angel did seem to feel much better about it after that explanation.

Besides just the feeling of confinement, there are SO many other feelings that come from wearing a chastity device, both physically and mentally. For one, I find that I am “aroused” almost constantly. No, there is no erection to show for it, but sex is on my mind to some extent pretty much all day long. I realize that for many men this would be very frustrating, to be so conscious of their sexuality but not be able to sneak off to some corner and take care of it.. But over time that changes to more of a craving! As Sarah Jameson writes in her e-book “Be Careful What You Wish For,” a man in chastity may WANT an orgasm, but he CRAVES denial. I definitely do find that to be true!

I think one of the best parts of being locked (especially during times of being intimate with my wife/key-holder) is that it’s like I am right on the edge of an orgasm pretty much all the time! Normally, with “regular” sex, I would reach that plateau fairly quickly, then I’d be over the edge and it would be all over… This way, I get 99% of the way there and get to hold that feeling for a very, very long time! It is well worth forgoing only a few seconds worth of that last 1%, when the 99% lasts so long. I truly believe that this is about as close as most guys can get to multiple orgasms–and yes, it is WONDERFUL! 🙂

and Finally,

HOW does one live, not having sex?

There’s a very common misconception about chastity, that being locked in a device means you can’t have sex. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Angel and I actually have far MORE sex now than we did pre-chastity! No, I don’t get to be inside her very often anymore, but the amount of other sexual contact that we have with each other has increased by at least ten-fold. I find that I am pretty much horny ALL the time (for obvious reasons! Lol) and as Angel has seen more and more benefit to KEEPING me that way, she is always wanting more of it too! Chastity has opened up so many other doors for exploring other avenues of our sexuality; be it oral, anal, using a multitude of various toys on each other, light bondage & spanking (both giving and receiving), etc.

There is just something very good and fulfilling (to me, at least) about giving up control of my sexuality and instead focusing all of that energy onto my wife. When I get to watch her (and even better–help her) have one or more orgasms during a session, that energy often seems to be enough to satiate BOTH of our sexual appetites! As counter-intuitive as it may seem, I am truly not exaggerating when I say that I can and do derive my own pleasure vicariously through Angel’s. As long as I get to keep helping HER to orgasm regularly, as much as I may want one I really don’t NEED a release for myself.. At least, not very often. I’d probably draw a line before saying “Never,” and we are certainly not at that point in our lives anyway.