It's not clear whether or not offenders will be grounded.

The University of Missouri is encouraging its students to file a report any time they hear someone make fun of another person on campus for any reason.

In fact, Mizzou apparently considers campus teasing to be such a serious issue that it developed an online system to make it as easy as possible for students to report it.


“If you have witnessed or experienced a bias incident that has occurred within the MU community, please use the form below to report the incident anonymously or with your name,” the online form instructs.

Obviously, it’s a good thing for schools to urge their students to seek help if they’re facing discrimination or harassment on campus. This form, however, expands the more typical definition of a “bias incident” — which usually refers to discrimination or harassment based on things like race, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, and religion – to include even small things like “name-calling” based on “physical appearance.”

In fact, it even has an option for “other” — which means that someone making fun of someone else on campus for any reason qualifies as something Mizzou considers worthy of reporting.


RELATED: U California System Encouraging Student to Formally Report ‘Unwanted’ Jokes


Keep in mind that the school is soliciting these reports not only from students who feel offended, but also from students who think that they may have witnessed someone else being offended — whether the “target” was actually offended or not.

Now, maybe I’m wrong, but I’ve always thought it was pretty normal for friends to tease each other. In fact, sometimes I greet my friends by saying “Hey ugly!,” and they do the same to me. It’s all in good fun, but under this policy, I could be reported for it – despite the fact that the person I’d called ugly would know that I was just joking.

#share#Oh, and by the way: I also prefer to have the kinds of friends who aren’t afraid to tell me in all seriousness that I’m looking ugly if they think I’m looking ugly. I spent too many years of my life with downright atrocious haircuts — including one that looked like it had been done with a weedwhacker — and I’ll always be grateful to the person who finally alerted me to this problem.


Of course, not everyone would agree with me on this. There are definitely people who prefer politeness to brutal honesty in their relationships, and they would definitely be horrified by this type of treatment.


#related#But here’s the thing: Shouldn’t people be able to make the decisions about what they want in their relationships for themselves? I should certainly think so. After all, these students are adults.

This whole thing is insane. At best, the form is an infantilizing waste of time and resources. College is pretty doggone expensive, and I can certainly think of better uses for paid employees than sitting around reading about who called whom ugly.

At worst? It could lead to more harassment on campus instead of less. Since the forms are anonymous, it’s totally possible that some students might see it as a pretty good way to cause trouble for someone they didn’t like. In fact, since you don’t even have to be a student to fill one out, literally anyone could report any Mizzou student for literally anything without ever having to worry about facing any consequences.

Oh, and, of course, there’s this: No one likes a tattletale.


— Katherine Timpf is a reporter for National Review Online.