Partisanship be damned, Sarah Palin is one fetching governor. If elections are won on looks, Obama is in trouble: With Palin by his side, McCain's ticket suddenly looks like a Christmas card for the coolest cat at the Scottsdale retirement center. And don't think commentators haven't noticed. If data collection for this sort of thing was available (or if "research" fell under my list of duties), you can bet that on the day of the "Palin for VP" accouchement Twitter neared critical mass:

She's inexperienced!

She's hot!

She's inexperienced!

I just found out my boyfriend gave me HPV :(

She's hot!

Suddenly, the only thing more fascinating than Palin's position on polar bears (hates them) was which female archetype she most resembled. The comparisons came as quickly as an unexpected pregnancy. (Forced? Yeah, forced.) And sure, you can't help but feel that if Palin had been sitting in the Senate from the first minute of her thirtieth birthday, maybe the discourse wouldn't be as much fun as it has been. (After all, no one's commenting on how Joe Biden could pass for the love child of Bobs Barker and Uecker.) But while the topic is being bandied about, let's just throw out the five most popular look-alikes and see how they stack up to the Palinator.

Megan Mullally

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Major Likeness: Perfectly mussed hair which suggests "I'm frazzled, but that's how I like it."

Major Difference: Mullally spent eight years on a hit sitcom starring two gay men; Palin spent two years trying to make the show illegal.

Hello, Irony: It's like Megan Mullally is singing a song right to Sarah Palin! Or Sarah Palin is singing right to her .35 caliber Smith & Wesson!

Mariska Hargitay

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Major Likeness: Tough as nails attitude.

Major Difference: Hargitay's father was a Hungarian-born former Mr. Universe, giving her some actual international experience.

The Call is Coming From Inside The White House: Not only is Freddy's Nightmares a nightmare in itself ("Stick that in your VCR"? No thanks.), but it's also the basis for the real-life story of every liberal Democrat in America should McCain-Palin prevail. (Please note the author's terrific restraint from making a cheap SVU joke. Some might even say he is maturing right before our very eyes.)

Naughty Librarian

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Major Likeness: Smoldering intensity.

Major Difference: Naughty librarians are all about sex outside of wedlock. Considering the glazed-over look on Bristol Palin's boyfriend's face the other night, I'm guessing Sarah isn't.

Cinemax Subscriptions on the Rise: This phrase has been thrown around so much that you can't even search the internet for Skinemax clips anymore without sorting through 10,000 Sarah Palin stories. (You know what I'm talking about, Adam.)

Tina Fey

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Major Likeness: The glasses, hair, face. Hell, it may be her.

Major Difference: Alec Baldwin actually met Tina Fey before he started bad-mouthing her.

Double Mint: In my opinion, this is the most accurate likeness. The hair, the glasses, but most of all the intensity behind those big brown eyes that makes you want to refute creationism just to see what will happen. And then have Fey on your other side telling pro-choice knock-knock jokes. It's every independent's dream.

Wonder Woman

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Major Likeness: Smoldering intensity.

Major Difference: Palin discourages sex education, while for many young boys Wonder Woman was sex education.

Superpowers: Judging by the G.O.P. response and the media's unabashedly positive coverage of her convention speech (if I hear "A star is born!" one more time, I'm going to think she's actually made of burning gasses), Sarah Palin's superhuman powers go beyond even those of Obama. Just make pretend the guy in the video is a polar bear living above an untapped oil derrick. BAM! Success!

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