NEW YORK – Blissfully unaware that global demand for a strong dollar had already pushed sovereign nations like Argentina and Turkey to the brink of collapse prior to coronavirus, local trader Tom Austin took to Reddit to indiscriminately criticize the Federal Reserve’s Quantitative Easing and Repo strategies today. “When JPow turns the printers on,” explained Austin, “he’s just doing whatever he can to save his hedge fund buddies.” The young trader, who spent his morning upvoting “printer memes,” never reached the concepts of dollar-denominated global foreign-exchange reserves and international dollar debt during his cursory Investopedia readthrough.

“Jerome Powell can’t just keep hyperinflating the economy to make sure stocks don’t go down,” the trader said, seemingly oblivious to global deflationary pressures like decimated supply chains. Austin also expressed disappointment that the Fed wasn’t helping ordinary Americans, and glazed over during our correspondent’s explanation that Jerome Powell is the head of a bank that can only use financial instruments in the banking system to bolster employment. “Liquidity won’t stop the coronavirus! Corporations aren’t people!” he crowed. During the interview, the trader was busy photoshopping Jerome Powell’s head onto a shirtless Tom Cruise from Top Gun.

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