You Can Put a Dog in a Cat Costume, but it’s Still Going to Piss on Trees.

By Beau Dashington

Editors Note: Beau and I are now even on PUA assignments. Let’s see how long this stalemate lasts.

Here at the PSBC we’re always looking to flush new and original turds. But some literarry shit-piles are so big, we keep coming back up them. So here I am, reading yet another book by a self-styled “pick up artist” (PUA)

Its not the first time we’ve read a book by one of these Zeta Males who claims to have the perfect tips for getting laid. One of the first books we ever reviewed was Day Bang, by Roosh V, who we revisited in reviewing is certified turd Pussy Paradise, or other’s like Tony D’s I Hope its Sunny Out. Self-styled “pick up artists” usually prescribe a fairly simple approach. Step #1: Seek out emotionally vulnerable and/or drunk women, #2 emotionally manipulate them, and #3; don’t take no for an answer. Although they stop short of advocating holding people down and raping them, many of these books (as discussed in the reviews linked above) advise you to continue to put pressure on your target even after repeated being told “No.”

Famous pro-rape author “Roosh V”. Yes, we’ve used this awful picture of this guy on our previous PUA reviews. And, yes, we’re going to keep using this awful picture again.

And so its time for me to dive into my book this week; “How to Get Over that Bitch and Grow Balls They Can’t Resist” by Anthony Clark. In my limited experience in the world of PUA literature, it is only a matter of time before you encounter two key characteristics. The first is explicit misogyny, while the second is the promotion of sexual assault. Since the title of the book refers to “that bitch”, I think we can already tick off the first of those. Interestingly, though, the first page of the book includes a caveat that the book is not intended “to degrade or humiliate women in any fashion.” And herein is the central dichotomy of the book; borderline misogyny, with a small amount of reasonable advice and self-reflection. In investigating the book, I realized that later editions advertise Anthony Clark’s wife Melanie as a co-author. I can’t help but wonder if Melanie offered some tempering advice on the book, smoothing out the rougher edges. If she did, her editing apparently missed the judicious scattering of spelling mistakes, and the over-use of italics.



Really, Anthony? Its better known as the “Coochie”? Have you ever heard of the word ‘vagina’?

Anthony opens by explaining that the “bitch” in the title refers to any woman in the past that has broken your heart; clarifying that the book really is intended for those who aim to get back in the saddle after a harsh break-up. If you follow his advice, then “By simply exhibiting the correct masculine behavior, you can literally command women to be attracted to you sexually, spiritually, and emotionally (even if they don’t want to be).” Aaaaaand there we are in rape territory.

The book purports a worldview where women are “whores, queens or in-betweens”, which might be a satisfying rhyming cadence, but it provides little that is elucidating. Anthony also asserts that women can never change what they are, and so men shouldn’t try to turn a whore into a queen or vice versa. As Anthony says, “you can put a dog in a cat costume, but its still going to piss on trees.” I can see what you’re going for there, Anthony, but I’m guess you aren’t really aware that cats mark their territory and piss on a trees on a regular basis.

No matter how you dress them up, they still piss on things.

Now, I want to be clear that I don’t hold the same worldview as the self-styled “Amazing Clarks”, and definitely don’t recommend following this book as an advice. However it would be unfair for me to say that everything in this book is wrong. For example, Anthony recommends that if you want to date someone who is in shape, you need to be in shape yourself. Fair enough. He also recommends avoiding unrealistic expectations of other people or yourself, and to not get down after one or two failures or bad dates. Also fair enough. He further notes that women like to be listened to, and its important to show an interest and ask questions. Again; this is true, though perhaps of all people and not just women.

But not all of the advice is spot on… For example, Anthony suggests that many men are controlled by a fear of their present or ex-girlfriends sleeping with other guys. And how do you get over this? By jerking off to the idea of other men pounding your love interest. He notes, “Masturbating to this can produce unusually powerful orgasms due to the very conflicting emotions that are involved.”

Umm…. Okay… I might skip this particular piece of advice. But I encourage you, dear reader, to engage in this experiment yourself and post your results in our subreddit. This isn’t the most offensive book I’ve ever read – that right goes to The Pink Swastika – and in many ways this week’s book is less misogynistic than I was expecting. But even with the influence of Melanie, and even though some of the advice in this book is valid, the book remains what it is; a piece of shit with misogynistic overtones and a distorted view of both women and romance. At the end of the day, you can put a dog in a cat suit, but its still going to piss on trees.

Beau Dashington, 2020