DEAR ABBY: I'm 39 and have been married for 12 years. My wife is 35. When we first got together, my wife did not want to have kids right away. She said maybe after I graduated from college, or perhaps we could adopt. It took more time because of some surgeries, but I have graduated now and I want to start a family.

She now says she thought I was kidding when we were talking about it all those years ago, and that I knew she never wanted kids. I am at a loss. I love this woman, but I do want children, or to adopt a baby if that's not possible -- but she says she's unwilling to do either. What am I to do? -- WANTS TO BE A DAD IN CHARLOTTE, N.C.

DEAR WANTS TO BE A DAD: You either accept that you will be childless, or talk to an attorney about divorcing a woman who appears to have deceived you. How sad!