There are times when Jay Gruden wakes up at 2 a.m. with a million different thoughts racing through his head. He’s tried to stay in bed, ignore those thoughts, push it all off until morning. But at this point, he knows better.

Now, when Gruden wakes up at 2 a.m., he hops into his white Mercedes and drives to Redskins Park. “Come on in, put it to paper and watch some tape,” he says. Sometimes, he never makes it to bed in the first place. Sleeping in the office is not out of the question. It doesn’t happen very often, but it happens.

“It hurts you about 4 o’clock that afternoon,” Gruden says with a laugh. “You’re ready to die.”

In 22 seasons of coaching, Gruden has always tried to stay even-keel, never over-celebrating wins or beating himself up after losses. But this year, he has learned that some things can gnaw at you. Some things can keep you up at night. It’s Week 14, and the losses are beginning to take a toll — emotionally, and even physically.

“I’m getting fatter,” Gruden says, laughing again.

The Washington Redskins are 3-9 entering Sunday’s game against the St. Louis Rams. They have lost four straight games, cycled through three quarterbacks, committed nearly eight penalties per game, made national headlines on a seemingly weekly basis, and blown defensive coverages that Gruden has classified as “the simplest ones we’ve got.”

Not all of these things are Gruden’s fault, but as the team’s head coach, they all trace back to him in one way or another. And he knows it. It bothers him.

“I feel like I’ve failed, in a lot of different ways,” Gruden said in an interview at Redskins Park earlier this week. “When you have a lot of penalties, when you have a lot of turnovers, a lack of production in key situations — I think that’s a reflection of coaching, and I’m miserable in that regard. Obviously the record is what it is, and that’s no fun either. But coaches are judged on wins and losses. Period. And we’re 3-9, and it’s not a very good start. Not what I had hoped for, my first year of coaching.”

‘More like work’

On most days, especially early in the week, Gruden rolls up to the gate at Redskins Park around 5 a.m. Offensive coordinator Sean McVay and defensive coordinator Jim Haslett often beat him there.

Eight-hour workdays do not exist in the NFL, regardless of organizational role or the team’s record. For the Redskins coaching staff, the workdays are closer to 18 hours. There’s film to be watched, weaknesses to be identified, gameplans to be drawn. Gruden embraces this aspect of his job, the challenge of preparing to beat another team.

“It’s not like it’s work. It’s fun for us,” he said. “When you start losing, it becomes more like work. But it’s fun.”

When Gruden was named Washington’s head coach in January, he brought an impressive resume, a trail of wins at every stop along the way. In 22 seasons of coaching across three professional leagues, Gruden’s teams had reached the playoffs 18 times and finished .500 or better 19 times.

So as the losses piled up this season, it was a relatively new experience for him. And at times, it’s showed.

“I’ll be honest with you: being an ex-head coach, I think it takes a toll on all head coaches, especially when you start off like this,” said Haslett, who spent six-plus seasons as head coach of the New Orleans Saints and St. Louis Rams.

“I think it does tire you out, it wears you out. Jay just happens to show his emotions a little bit more than a lot of guys. So you’re probably going to see. He wears them on his sleeve. Some guys don’t. A lot of guys don’t. He’s different that way.”

Tight end Logan Paulsen said Gruden has dealt with different losses, and the various mistakes within them, in different ways. Sometimes he is affirming and nurturing, Paulsen said. In other instances, however, he is not afraid to make his frustration known.

“It’s difficult to stay positive and optimistic when you lose a whole bunch of football games,” Paulsen said. “He’s been really good about keeping himself professional and everything, but you can tell it weighs on him. He does a good job of hiding it from the team.”

Quieting the noise

The losing is what bothers Gruden. But the constant media scrutiny — a byproduct of repeated failures long before his arrival — has also been new to him. And it certainly hasn’t made his job any easier.

Gruden spent his first 17 years of coaching in places like Nashville, Tampa Bay, Orlando and Cincinnati. He worked in the Arena Football League and United Football League, where media coverage was sporadic.

Even when he reached the NFL, Gruden didn’t coach in a major market. He was never truly under the microscope, speaking to reporters five days a week — and feeling the repercussions of his words — like he is now.

“It’s more of a strain mentally going to those press conferences than it is coming up with a gameplan,” Gruden said. “But it’s fine. I try to be, if they ask me a question, I’ll answer it honestly. But that gets me in trouble sometimes. So it’s more of a strain just because I have to think about what I say all the time now.”

There’s been no shortage of controversy surrounding the Redskins this season, and much of it has involved third-year quarterback Robert Griffin III. The questions began as soon as Gruden took the job and have followed ever since, from Griffin’s struggles in the preseason to his dislocated ankle in Week 2, near-return in Week 8, actual return in Week 9, controversial postgame comments in Week 11, and benching after Week 12.

The noise is not all about Griffin, however. Over time, Gruden said, he has had to work against his naturally honest disposition. He’s become more careful with what he says about a specific player or unit, because he knows now that any sentence can become a headline. In recent weeks, he’s looked increasingly exhausted at the podium.

“People are sensitive around here, man,” Gruden said. “Just in general.”

Gruden’s straight-shooting nature has ruffled some feathers, specifically when he publicly criticized Griffin’s fundamental flaws in a press conference last month (despite sharing those criticisms privately with Griffin beforehand). However, that same nature has also endeared him to players and coaches alike.

“Jay’s going to be a guy that when this thing gets rolling, it’s going to be amazing to play for him,” veteran safety Ryan Clark said. “He’s a guy who wants to take care of the players, but in turn, we have to give it back to him. If he’s taking care of your bodies during the week, you’ve got to lay it on the line for him on Sunday. And I think once he gets the people here that he really understands and knows, I think this team will do well, just because of the way he treats us.”

‘I understand this game’

Gruden and his staff know how this league works: when a team is losing, fans want to see change. Any kind of change.

“Whether it’s right or wrong, that’s just kind of how it is,” said Haslett, whose own job will likely be in jeopardy next month. “It affects the head coach more than anybody. The two people that probably get more credit than anybody when you win are the head coach and the quarterback. And the two people that take the biggest brunt when you lose are the head coach and the quarterback. Again, that kind of comes with the job.”

When asked to evaluate Gruden’s performance this season, Redskins owner Daniel Snyder and general manager Bruce Allen both declined to be interviewed for this story. A team spokesman said the two executives will not address the media during the season.

Gruden signed a five-year contract in January for a fully guaranteed, but undisclosed, amount. It was an unusually strong investment in a first-year NFL head coach, the type of deal that seemed to secure Gruden’s long-term future in Washington.

But in a production-based league, the 47-year-old also understands that anything is possible.

“Mr. Snyder has been positive in all our talks, but I understand this game,” Gruden said. “It’s a tough business to get into. It’s great to be a head coach, but if you don’t win, you’re not going to be a head coach for very long. I’ve accepted that. That’s why we work so hard at what we do. Ultimately, the wins have got to come or I’ll be gone — this year, next year, whatever. That’s just the way it is.”

Sign up for Daily Newsletters Manage Newsletters

Copyright © 2020 The Washington Times, LLC. Click here for reprint permission.