TWT #207 –

On July 26th, 1991, Paul Reubens was arrested for playing with his Pee-Wee Herman inside an adult movie theater, an arrest that would nearly destroy his career.

Compared to some of the other stuff out there, I actually don’t think this one is that bad, folks (Until we get to 2002 when things take a dark turn).

But focusing on his ’91 arrest first: What do the police think happen in “adult movie theaters”???

Let’s take a quick look at the “South Trail Cinema, where Reubens was arrested:

I mean, c’mon, obviously dudes are diddling themselves in there

So Reubens was apparently visiting family in Florida when he wanted a little alone time. At least he wasn’t in a normal movie theater, right? If he had to do the deed, at least he chose the right venue.

And what exactly did the police expect to find? They did a random sweep of a movie theater that only shows porn. If they were surprised to find dudes playing pocket pool, they were the worst police officers ever.

Now, I’m really not trying to defend Reubens here. Because what happened 11 years later is truly horrifying, so this first arrest doesn’t really phase me too much.

Those glasses are pretty cool, wonder where I can get a pair?

Anyway, as he was being arrested, the police actually had no idea who he was. Instead of keeping a low profile, Reubens came out and told them “I’m Pee Wee Herman” and offered to do a charity show for their department if they let this slide. Surprisingly, the Florida police didn’t take the bribe.

(Apparently he made the same offer of a charity event to a newspaper, if they agreed not to run the story. Didn’t work.)

The criminal charges Reubens faced were not all that bad. But his career as Pee Wee was essentially over. Toys “R” Us dropped a line of Pee Wee toys. Disney dropped a video of Pee Wee from it’s studio tour. And CBS dropped their recently announced syndication of the Playhouse.

So what was Reubens legal punishment? Basically just community service time, which he used to make this incredible video teaching kids that, while doing Crack might make you cool, it can also kill you (at least, that’s what I take away from this):

Should have been a PSA warning middle-aged men about the dangers of adult movie theaters

After this whole debacle, Reubens decided to lay low for a little while. Over the next few years he took small roles in TV shows and movies (including an Oscar-worthy performance as “The Spleen” in Mystery Men).

And finally, we get to 2002 when things get very ugly for Mr. Herman.

Apparently while he was “laying low” all those years, Reubens had gone about collecting all sorts of collectible toys, paraphernalia and… oh no… child porn…

The LAPD found 70,000 items of “kitsch memorabilia,” two video tapes (which turned out to be Rob Lowe’s sex tape), and dozens of photos that the attorney’s office initially classified as child porn.

Reubens attempted to explain this all away by saying he was a collector of “vintage erotica” magazines, which (because they were “vintage”), sometimes included images of naked younger men. His defense was that he was a collector, and had never sat down to look through every page of every magazine.

But still… the guy had child porn.

Of course, because he’s famous he wasn’t actually charged with a felony, nor was he even charged with having child pornography. Reubens pled guilty to some lesser crime and was simply legally barred from being alone with minors.

So the next time you watch Pee Wee’s Playhouse, just remember: that dude collected dozens of “photographic studies of teen nudes.”

Horrifying.

(p.s. If you enjoyed this terrible take on history, sign up to our newsletter for EXCLUSIVE Terrible stories!)

Email address: Leave this field empty if you’re human: