Comebacks for Questions Vegetarians are Tired of Hearing

While answering questions about your dietary needs or lifestyle can be an excellent chance to educate others, sometimes it feels unfair to bear the burden of the extra emotional labor of answering questions that could easily be Googled. While it’s usually possible to provide succinct and polite answers to well-intended questions, sometimes you need a snappy comeback for those more critical of your life.

“How Do You Get Your Protein?”

Often asked by those aghast that you consume no meat (or no animal-derived products, if you’re a vegan), a good comeback to this one is a simple “the same way you do, from your food.” If you feel like explaining further, you can list some veggie-based protein sources or, depending on the querent, leave it at that.

“Aren’t Plants Living Things? Why is it Okay to Eat Them?”

This question isn’t usually asked out of genuine curiosity – unless the asker is under the age of, say, 10. So rather than taking the time to educate the person asking about the varied nuances between plant and animal biology and pain response – or even the existence of fruitarianism — or the ethical decisions involved in choosing responsibly grown and sourced veggie food, come back with a thought-provoking deflection: “Pick an apple and kill a pig — you tell me the difference.”

“If Humans Weren’t Meant to Eat Meat, Why Do We Have Canine Teeth?”

A subset of the “but biology!” false argument, it’s easier to use a snappy comeback to this question than it is to try to explain your life to someone dead-set in their thoughts. You can point out that humans weren’t meant to fly, sit in a chair all day or swim underwater for extended periods of time, and yet we do because it enhances our quality of life — just as eating a veggie diet does. You can also try pointing out how food-industry animals are bred into unnatural oddities just to accommodate human consumption — and isn’t that the real shame?

“But People Have Been Eating Meat for Millennia!”

People have also been starting wars, raping others, stealing, carrying grudges and other unnecessary violent acts for millennia. Pointing out that just because it’s always been done doesn’t make it morally or ethically right may strike a chord with the uneducated asker of this question.

“What About Vitamin B12?”

To the credit of the asker, there’s no wholly-accepted, naturally occurring plant-based B12 source. Which isn’t to say obtaining adequate plant-sourced amounts is impossible — it’s just a little harder. So the querent barking this question at you might know a thing or two about vegetarianism. Pointing this out, as well as the reduced risk of heart disease, hypertension, type 2 diabetes and certain types of cancer make it worth the extra hassle of sourcing plant-based B12 for your body.

“You Don’t Drink Milk, Either?”

For vegans, this question is one of the most oft-asked. If you’re not in the mood to answer questions about your life and personal decisions, go ahead and point out how weird it would be if a cow wandered up and started suckling from a breastfeeding human woman. Usually, that stops the conversation and gives the asker food for thought.

Using Snappy Comebacks to Common Questions

Although well-intentioned questions are a great way to provide insight and education to others, it isn’t your job to do the emotional or intellectual labor for them. By all means, point them toward a helpful website or book if they’re truly curious about learning. For those using questions as a means to attack your diet or lifestyle, a well-timed, well-practiced comeback can shut down unwanted aggression and end a conversation you don’t feel like having.