Running around trying to get everything for the perfect Valentine’s Day? Worse, looking for the right words to entice that young lad or lady into being your valentine at the last minute? WFNY is here to help, along with some of our favorite Cleveland sports figures.

Try these cards out and see if your bones don’t get jumped in a jiffy.

(Some of the cards allude to adult-ish content—you’ve been warned.)

Delly’s star isn’t the only thing that’s rising.

Austin’s stuff is not weak.

Maybe we had the wrong idea about the tweets all along.

Dion is gone, but never forgotten.

Corey Kluber: humanoid of passion.

Nick Swisher: actual man of passion

Typical Dolan amirite?

Kyle Shanahan likes to declare his feelings with visual aids.

What Ray Farmer wants, Ray Farmer gets, rules be damned.

There’s still time to turn it around, you crazy kids in love.

Some call he and his company predatory. I’m afraid to ask what he’s hunting.

Some things write themselves.

Happy Valentine’s Day.