With the anime, Godzilla: City on the Edge of Battle, coming to Netflix this week, I thought it would be a fun idea to share 35 of my horrible “Yo’ Zilla” jokes. They’re just like “Yo’ Mama” jokes, but inspired by the endless controversies surrounding Godzilla’s growing weight problem.

Yo’ Zilla is so huge he uses Tokyo Bay as a jacuzzi!

Yo’ Zilla is so big he needs another Ice Age to cool him down.

Yo’ Zilla is so heavy he gave King Kong a hernia.

Yo’ Zilla is so nasty! Mothra’s Twins have PTSD from reading his browser history!

Yo’s Zilla’s so fat, aliens use tractor beams to get him out of the tub.

Yo’ Zilla’s so gross he took a shit and named it Minya.

Yo’ Zilla is so ugly even Hedorah couldn’t give him a make-over.

Yo’ Zilla is so stupid, he thinks “Rock Lobster” is a sport.

Yo’ Zilla’s so big, he makes Jet Jaguar look like an action figure.

Yo’ Zilla’s so huge his head lice are trained attack dogs.

Yo’ Zilla’s so fat Japan’s got to evacuate the restaurants first.

Yo’ Zilla’s so big Mechagodzilla needs more updates than Windows.

Yo’ Zilla’s so lazy Tristar needed to hire a stand-in.

Yo’ Zilla so big Orga tried to assimilate him, stopped midway, and said “I’m good.”

Yo’ Zilla so ugly they had to cut Yo’ Daddy out of the movie.

Yo’ Zilla is so fat he needs Ghidorah to give him the Heimlich.

Yo’ Zilla’s so mean he won’t return Gamera’s calls.

Yo’ Zilla’s man-boobs are so big, Joe Bob gave ‘em four stars (“Check it out!”)

Yo’ Zilla is so ugly he made Batman call in a sick day!

Yo’ Zilla’s so thick the Wolfman can’t chew him.

Yo’ Zilla’s so old he turned into a mountain.

Yo’ Zilla’s so ugly he makes little kids cry for Baragon.

Yo’ Zilla’s so fat he’s generates his own magnetic field.

Yo’ Zilla’s so fat even the salad bar has to fight him.

Yo’ Zilla’s so clumsy that when he falls, the Earth cracks up.

Yo’ Zilla’s so mean, Yo’jimbo had to pick one side.

Yo’ Zilla’s so rich he hired Rodan to be his pilot AND chauffer.

Yo’ Zilla’s so ugly King Kong got up and re-climbed the Empire State Building.

Yo’ Zilla’s so hot his kisses make the bitches melt.

Yo’ Zilla’s so huge the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps lists him as “Category DAAAAAMMMMNNN!”

Yo’ Zilla’s so gassy antacids make him a’splode.

Yo’ Zilla’s so ugly his ass has a face on it!

Yo’ Zilla’s so fat he needs TWO shared cinematic universes!

Yo’ Zilla is so stupid, but not as stupid as Gigan and Megalon.

And the last “Yo’Zilla” joke…

Yo’ Zilla is so lazy he takes 35-45 minutes to show up on set!

Shots fired?