I recently came across this article that was about an archetype of a man who is commonly shamed and criticized in our uninformed culture of fantasy based expectations about sex and love. In that article, that man was referred to as a fuccboi. That potty piece of writing was a compilation of biased observation which was written with the intent to warn women from dating a fuccboi. First thing. It is a fuckboy and not a fuccboi. If you come from a school where incorrect grammar is taught, get a goddamn Rapidex English Learner Course from the bookstore located at your nearest bus terminal. Second thing. You can’t warn women from dating a fuckboy because he doesn’t date. He fucks. Dating and fucking can be mutually exclusive just so you know. Too harsh of a common sense argument in the face of a person who wrote a full-fledged word bombing piece on a topic she clearly didn’t know anything about. Maybe she was inspired by Romeo and Juliet and had no clue that such stories are for hand holding and smile passing teenage couples who don’t know how to differentiate between fiction and reality. Tinder is real my unaware writer friend. And as much real are fuckboys who don’t fit your baseless opinion of them. What they really are will be explained point by point by breaking apart the writer’s notions of fuckboys which I believe have been formed by reading too much of cheap crappy romance novels that foolish people like her read during rail journeys. Anyways, we’ll now proceed and understand the truth about fuckboys minus the hatred and judgment that miss writer holds towards them.

To warm up my bored out head for hateful words of wisdom to unconsciously flow, I start by shattering the most common misconceptions about fuckboys that the lady wrote in her article:-

1. He is willing to do anything and hurt anyone just to get what he wants

No. He is not a psycho killer. He will find another girl to fuck. Simple enough.

2. He is secretive and manipulative

No. He is discreet and smart, you dumbass.

3. Lying is his natural habit

He is discreet. And being discreet is different from lying. Got it?

4. Portrays himself as a powerful and strong person but he is actually weak

He doesn’t portray himself as anything other than a normal human being who wants to fuck.

5. His physical appearance and body are more important to him than anything else

Not really. Every fuckboy is not body obsessed. So shut the fuck up.

6. Smooth talk is one of his specialties

You said that right. His talk is smoother than a baby’s bald butt.

7. He has a tendency to flirt with every girl

No. He only flirts with the girl who flirts back with him. He is not a walking erect penis.

8. He is a misogynist and looks down on the opposite sex

No. He is a lover of women that’s why he makes an active effort to meet and fuck them.

9. He becomes aggressive if someone disagrees with his thoughts

No. He is a normal human being who lets other people live their lives on their own terms.

The above points were just a broad outline of what is gonna come ahead. Below, we have some guiding principles that our self-righteous author proudly wrote in order to highlight fuckboys as men with psychologically ill tendencies. All those shitty principles have been carefully decoded to give a clear picture about fuckboys. Almost as clear of a picture as the brain of a pseudo-intellectual is. The lens of wisdom used here is that of first and second-hand experience that has helped me and other men figure out the way to a woman’s fluid gushing warm feeling opening, which is referred to as vagina in biology books and called pussy on PornHub. Moving the fuck ahead.

He takes a step forward in the relationship too soon

If a person wants to have sex with you on the first, third or even on the seventy-fifth time he meets you, it is his wish and an offer for you that you can always decline. Nothing is too soon. If you wanna shake his penis back and forth as much he wants to touch your clitoral hood, all is set in that case. He tells you what he wants and you tell him what you want. If you are on the same terms, fuck without being a bitch about not receiving teddy bears and chocolates.

His family and friends are unaware of your existence in your life

Some things are meant to be in the grocery store like vegetables and biscuits. Similarly, some things are meant to be in the bedroom like a copulating couple. The world doesn’t have to know about a fuckboy having sex with a girl because it is something that two people are willingly doing and it deserves to stay between those two people. And since he might not be interested in meeting you after his penis goes inside your mouth, it makes sense to keep things discreet to protect your and his reputation.

He avoids meeting you in public places

Not necessarily. He invites you for a cup of coffee or a beer and talks to you about your preferences to figure out whether you are his type or not. A fuckboy is not someone who will fuck any girl just because he is a fuckboy and there are people in the world roaming around with a vagina. Before being the great fucker that he obviously is, he also is an ordinary human being who lives in the society just like everyone does and thus he behaves like a civilized man.

He is clueless about his life and future

Why do you care about his life and future to the extent of claiming that he is careless about them? Your work and your time of work in his life are limited to having a good experience with him and saying bye-bye once you experience an orgasm or two. That’s it. His life and future are his responsibilities and you don’t have to moralize and educate him about them. If he is old and smart enough to fuck you, he also is competent enough to make decisions about his life and future.

He is self-obsessed and just loves himself

No. If he loved himself he would have masturbated himself to sleep after playing video games on his computer while being high on marijuana. If he gives a fuck about meeting women and cares enough to have a sexual encounter with them, he is not at all self-obsessed. In fact, he loves women more than he loves himself and this modesty of his makes him buy and carry more condoms than he would normally use for a particular sex session.

Sorry is not a part of his dictionary

Yes. He is not sorry about what he does and unapologetically fucks his way into the world of women who surround him and his penis. Why be sorry when you can accept yourself, your choices, your hormonal urges and your conscious decision to fuck all those women who also wanna fuck you? No sorry.

He keeps you under his control

I wonder what the writer drank before she wrote this. A fuckboy has a life where he goes to social events, swipes right on Tinder, sleeps during the day, pays electricity bills and has regular meetings with his male buddies. The only thing he keeps under his control is the power to say no to a woman who asks him for a relationship. He has no objective to control you when you don’t wanna fuck him. And in case you have fucked him, why will he control you? He will offer you a goodbye hug, buy you a pack of Oreo biscuits and walk you to the nearest bus stop.

Conversations with him usually revolve around sex

It has been told before that a fuckboy is a normal human being who has opinions, tastes and knowledge of things happening in the world. He talks to you about them so that he can see if you are interesting, witty and horny enough to be fucked or not. Once the initial stage of rapport is built, he initiates conversations on sex and the game of hole and pole begins.

He has never asked you out on a proper date

What the fuck is a proper date for cupid’s sake? Taking a woman out when you nervously hold her hand and lead her to a chair that is placed in front of a table which has a bottle of champagne and a bunch of roses placed on it. If the last line describes your idea of a proper date, that is only gonna happen in cliche` movies, unicorny dreams and that romance novel poop which you regularly consume. A fuckboy meets you and interacts with you and fucks you with your consent. That’s it.

He never compliments his exes

There is no reason any man or a fuckboy will compliment his exes without a relevant context for the same. You must keep in mind that a fuckboy has fucked many girls and he never talks about them whatsoever. He lives with the principle of “fuck and don’t tell.” And if you can’t digest this basic pact of confidential sexual pleasure, then don’t complain and whine about him for not complimenting his exes.

There is no proof of your relationship with him

It has been told before also. A fuckboy works very covertly.

He looks down upon you

A fuckboy looks at you like he looks at every other person. And that means looking at people as sexual beings. He will go down on you to lubricate your vagina but not look down upon you as a person. If you are having sex with him, you both are satisfying your carnal itch for giving and receiving physical pleasure and there is nothing to be looked down upon anyone of you in that case.

There are a lot of people living around us who didn’t get a chance to get their genitals touched by the person they were attracted to in their childhood. When these loner bums who survived their sexless years during adolescence turn old enough to write and speak, they preach their pain of depressive nights and tear wiped pillows on social media. Irrespective of that, till the time there are people around us who are enthusiastic to fuck each and every willing person they come across, there won’t be a problem for lust to thrive whether Nicholas Sparks agrees to it or not.