When I call my voice mail, I have to call collect.

The IRS recently sent me a letter regarding this year’s tax filing that said: “Don’t bother.”

I now have vultures following me on Twitter.

When a panhandler asked if I could spare some change, I asked him if he had an easy-payment plan.

I don’t have enough cents to finish this sentence…

The lower-class revoked my membership for not keeping up with my dues.

Both the Democratic and Republican Parties removed me from their donor mailing lists.

To improve his station in life, my cat ran away to the Humane Society.

I asked Congress for a bailout so I can help pay for my bankruptcy filing.

I’ve resurrected my Ramen noodles’ recipe book from my early college daze.

That I e-mailed the Obama Administration asking them if they could spare some change I can believe in.

WordPress has threatened to foreclose my free blog.

Now’s your chance, Dear Reader, to say something funny by adding your two cents (no I Owe Yous, please; I’m broke enough as it is) in the COMMENTS section below.