I’m an Introverted Woman in Tech, and I Want to see Introverted Women Succeed in the Industry TD Follow Feb 5, 2018 · 8 min read

My first two years of college I spent a lot of time in the library, where no one expected you to speak. No one expected me to use technical buzzwords to prove I earned my acceptance. I liked to talk in class, but always thought carefully about what to say before raising my hand. But really, I liked the idea of being someone that liked to talk in class. I couldn’t help but think back to the advice drilled from my school’s all women seminar about speaking up “as much as possible as a woman.” My questions and comments therefore came out rushed. They had the sound of things I’d waited for a long time to get off my chest, because, in a way, I had been waiting. It was just the kind of waiting that nobody sees, the kind of waiting that twists your guts with second-guessing before you finally, torturously, raise your hand.

I wasn’t easily intimidated nor felt pressured to speak up in high school. Why was it so frustrating?

I knew damn well why.

I’m an Introverted woman…in a field where dominance and aggression are pervasive.

RIP my chances.

What I got from the women’s seminar was that I had to embody extroverted qualities like dominance and aggression in order to advance.

I forced myself to become an extrovert throughout university. I saw gregarious women respected by their male peers and favored by the administration. I saw public speaking skills and an outgoing personality as being essential to getting ahead in tech. Women who were recognized for their work and celebrated were women who embodied the type of charisma and magnetism that are admired in men.

In the right situations I displayed extroverted qualities — during job interviews, meeting new people, hanging out with my friends. You would never know I was an introvert. I can handle myself in a large group, but I much prefer one-on-one conversations. Extroversion didn’t come naturally, but it felt necessary. After all of that I’d return from large gatherings exhausted, not energized. There’s nothing wrong with that. I accepted myself an introvert.

Before you read any further…

👏 IN 👏 TRO 👏 VER 👏 SION 👏 AND 👏 SHY 👏NESS 👏 AIN’T 👏 THE 👏 SAME 👏 THING 👏 *