Kilgore Trout chapter 4 . 6/1/2014 People far wittier than I have already insulted your writing, which is entirely deserved. It's terrible. But I'm going to tell you why it's terrible. It's because you came here, not because you wanted to grow as a writer or to be a part of the Revolution community, but because you wanted to be recognized, to be the big fish in a little pond. I'll tell you the harsh truth: you'll never be a popular writer, or even an unrecognized good one, if you continue on your current path.

Spirit chapter 7 . 5/31/2014 Jesus, did you drink the bong water then watch the Lord of the Rings? Motherfucking elves. Led by an elf named Elff. And diesel does burn, you idiot. How do you think diesel engines work? Elf magic? Oh wait, you probably do.

M. Miyamoto chapter 7 . 5/29/2014 If I was in a room with you, Stalin and Hitler and I had a gun with 2 bullets I would shoot Stalin and Hitler because genocide narrowly edges out your crimes against the English language.

Guest chapter 2 . 5/3/2014 You all need to check your male privilege. Post-apocalyptic fiction is an inherently male-biased ideology that seeks to prop up the pro-Patriarchy notions of capitalism and survivalism and degrade the inevitable dissolution of the Patriarchal system as a negative outcome when it will actually be the dawning of a new era of naturalism. By portraying the collapse of the Patriarchal society as an evil to be avoided, the Patriarchy cements its position as the arbiter of justice, society, and rights.



I shouldn't be surprised though, seeing as how commenters include a brony invading the safe space of a show for girls and someone who uses abilist slurs like "r******d."

420 Brony chapter 6 . 5/2/2014 this is like when theres a mlp story and the main characeter has like wings an horn that everypony loves and there awesome at everything and its not cool. nice fights tho

Keflex chapter 6 . 5/1/2014 If I wrote something that inspired your new style, I'd like to formally apologize to everyone literate. This is horrible. Are you retarded? I'm not even joking, you must either have one chromosome too many or you suffered some kind of head trauma leading to an IQ that could be generously described as room temperature... in Celsius.

Ceterum Censeo chapter 6 . 4/30/2014 I can understand feeling protective of your creation, so I'm encouraged that you plan on killing off Dirk Speedblood. You can't let your characters become too precious to you, or you'll never write anything interesting. Make them suffer!

Skyfall chapter 1 . 4/3/2014 You offend me. I could forgive you being a terrible author if you weren't so full of yourself. No one cares about your stupid self insert and you're not getting any better. Actually, if your latest chapter is any indication, you're getting worse. How can you claim your character isn't a Mary Sue and then a few paragraphs later give them magical nanite hands!? Just do everyone a favor and stop writing. If you sell your computer, you could probably afford a few more stickers for the piece of shit Civic you must own.

Average Guy chapter 1 . 4/1/2014 I'd say this is the woestt thing that's ever been written, but I haven't read everything that's been written, so I guess I'll just say its the worst thing I've ever read.

Heisenberg chapter 5 . 3/25/2014 This is so bad it gave me cancer.

Guest chapter 4 . 3/15/2014 Why do you refer to him by his full name every time you mention him or someone says his name. Its weird and annoying. You should spend time reading good examples of stories before you try to write your own.

DSpeedblood chapter 4 . 3/13/2014 LOL, thanks dudes for all the reviews. Keep reading and letting me know, I think I'm getting better as I go! I kind of want to be a professional writer and I know I have a way to go!



I will try something new with the next chapter to address the Mary Sue debate. I will also try out a new style. Only a few more chapters in Olympic Brake and then I can start fresh on a good foot with a new story!

Oedipus Rex chapter 1 . 3/5/2014 I gouged my eyes out so I wouldn't have to read any more of this.

Doge chapter 4 . 3/5/2014 Wow. Such Original Character. So Mary Sue. Wow. Do not steal. Such terrible.