A SHATTERED Brent Tate says he is too emotional to formally retire as he confronts the agony of a fourth knee reconstruction and a life without football.

Speaking to The Courier-Mail on Thursday night after his return to Townsville, Tate revealed he was such a “mess’’ he could not afford to rush the biggest decision of his glittering career.

The 32-year-old admits his NRL career flashed before him the moment his right knee buckled under the weight of NSW forward Ryan Hoffman in the 57th minute of Origin II.

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Maroons medicos administered morphine as Tate privately wept in the sheds — evoking images of his break-down after injuring his knee for a third time in the 2010 Four Nations final.

Tate confirmed he had ruptured his anterior cruciate ligament for a fourth time.

He had scans on Thursday night to discover the extent of damage, but concedes he will not return this season and may have played his final game of rugby league.

The worst-case scenario would be a crushing blow for Tate’s club side the Cowboys, who recently handed the popular clubman a 12-month extension for 2015.

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“I’m just gutted, I’m a mess,’’ Tate said.

“I’m pretty sore and swollen actually. I know what it is, I’ve done my ACL, so I’ll have the scan to see the exact damage.

“Honestly, I’m just so up and down. I’m going to take a couple of weeks to get my head sorted, I don’t want to make any rash decisions, I want to process it and take it all in.

“I need to talk to people and sort it out myself ... I know I have a big decision to make.

“If this is it, I have no regrets.’’

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Just one player in the modern-era, former Manly lock Nik Kosef, has overcome four knee reconstructions to play first grade.

But Kosef admitted he lost his pace and eventually retired prematurely because of constant pain in his knees.

Tate has undergone the knife twice on his left knee.

He has had his right knee reconstructed once, providing a glimmer of hope the Cowboys stalwart can fight back one last time.

The Cowboys will honour the final year of Tate’s deal, but the veteran of 23 Origin matches, 26 Tests and 229 NRL games admits he isn’t sure if he can face the road to recovery.

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“I won’t be rushing into surgery yet because I know what’s involved with that,’’ he said.

“I knew straight away it was my ACL, I felt the bang go and the pain came with it.

“I shed some tears of disappointment. The medicab was there but I wanted to walk off. I thought: ‘If this is my last game, I want to be able to walk off, that’s how I want to go’.

“That (his career) definitely ran through my mind when I was down. I was trying to stay calm because back in the Four Nations in 2010 but I lost control and didn’t help the team.

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“I didn’t want to lose it out there, I didn’t want to affect the team so I just wanted to get off.

“I had some morphine to take the pain away.

“Because I’ve done my knee before, the recovery will take longer. I just think about what lies ahead of me. It’s the whole operation, sitting in the hospital bed again, I just feel crook, I don't want to go through all this bulls*** again.

“I don’t know about playing on, that is what I’m wrestling with at the moment, that’s why I need a few weeks because things aren’t clear.

“I’m too emotional to be making any decision.’’