Physically tired is one thing. I've noticed everyone around me is horribly mentally tired. They are feeling an emptiness, a monotony that doesn't feel normal anymore, like they are WAITING and the suspense just gets bigger and bigger, like something's about to happen (most people are pessimistic about it... I guess you can't blame them for being so), and reality just seems weaker than it used to.



I know I especially have been living in a mental fog for the past two or three years... not that my memory is bad, but just like I don't seem as attached to my perception as I used to... and that alone makes me tired because it means I have to try extra hard to even care about trivial things like money, job, finishing community college, getting my own place, finding a mate to settle with...



All I really wanna do is play music constantly, and even THAT is strained because it seems like everyone is so flaky lately. Me and my bassist have been looking for a drummer for about a year and a half now. Four guys have flaked on us. We're good musicians. I'll give you an example if you'd like. We're damn good at what we do, and we just can't understand why everybody is pulling away.



Yeah, on top of the tiredness of people... everyone except for a couple of close friends seems to be experiencing like hyperactive ignorance, selfishness, and just unabated super heightened apathy... like all the sudden this year, it's gone from 5 to 11 (this one goes to eleven, okay?). I rarely see anyone I hung out with a year ago anymore. Everyone is quite literally running away.... but from what??? They can't escape themselves. What kind of insanity is this?