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Australia’s next Labor Prime Minister, Kyaliegh Mayweather-Hendrix (4) has already begun drafting her national apology to the entire generation of detained children who have been held behind bars on the pacific Island of Nauru and Manus.

Even though most of the 755 people held in mandatory detention are older than Kyaleigh, she understands that it will be up to 50 years before Australia can reconcile their feelings that surround the idea of having allowed hundreds of stateless youths live out their entire childhood inside a sweltering island prison.

She believes that 2069 will be around the same time that she is pushed forward as the first gluten-free lesbian Labor Prime Minister of Australia.

“Obviously I’m going to upset a few people by acknowledging these people’s existence with an apology,” she says.

“..But I think in a couple decades there will be a push for some sort of recognition of the abuse they suffered, and it’ll take another thirty years from that point for the government to do anything,” she says.

Ms Mayweather-Hendrix says her national apology will be very similar to Former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s 2007 address to the Stolen Generation, complete with the blatant Labor party opportunism and subsequent lack of action that follows.

“All I need to do is do it,”

“I might even get a national holiday named after me. It won’t be quite a Whitlam-dirt-through-the-hands moment, but it’ll definitely be broadcast live on Parliament House lawns,”

“Obviously, Labor won’t be taking full responsibility for reopening Australia’s offshore detention centre in 2012,”

“Or the fact that we ignored the repeated warnings from doctors and human rights groups about the detrimental impact on the detained children’s mental health,”

“Dutton is probably going to take most of the heat on this, though. He’s on the wrong side of history for this one. Not Kev or Julia, or ScoMo”