Patricia Arquette, shut up! The rich movie star is so delusional and self-absorbed, she claims that American women are victims of rampant gender discrimination — a problem that she finds so pervasive, she turned up at Sunday’s Oscars ceremony in an unmoving hairdo that looked as if she’d stuck her finger in a light socket.

Most women are doing just fine, Patricia. It’s your sisters in the tone-deaf colony of Hollywood about whom I worry.

Or not . . .

Taking the stage at the mind-numbingly boring extravaganza to collect her Oscar for Best Actress in a Supporting Role for the flick “Boyhood,’’ Arquette, 46, whose personal fortune is estimated at $24 million by CelebrityNetWorth.com, donned a pair of serious, dark-rimmed eyeglasses. And she squandered her moment in the spotlight by delivering a mini-manifesto on the dire state of chicks today. She said:

“To every woman who gave birth to every taxpayer and citizen of this nation: We have fought for everybody else’s equal rights. It’s our time to have wage equality once and for all and equal rights for women in the United States of America.’’

From the front row, singer Jennifer Lopez, 45 (estimated by the celebrity-wealth website to be worth $300 million), clapped her hands and cheered, careful not to dislodge her gravity-defying breasts from the mercy of her peekaboo gown.

To J.Lo’s right, three-time Academy Award winner Meryl Streep, 65 (personal fortune pegged online at up to $65 million), rose to her feet and thrust her right arm, forefinger extended, in Arquette’s direction while shouting, “Yes! Yes!’’— sounding like actress Meg Ryan faking an orgasm in the movie “When Harry Met Sally.’’

Democrat Nancy Pelosi, the House minority leader, tweeted:

President Obama’s senior adviser Valerie Jarrett tweeted:

This orgiastic “You go, girl!’’ estrogenfest ignored a pesky fact. Everywhere, except perhaps in the acting community and in the White House, young American women earn as much as — or more than — young men. Stuff it, Patricia. I don’t need to take feminist life lessons from a pampered, privileged harpy.

The old trope that females in this country make, on average, about 77 cents for every dollar earned by men has been debunked repeatedly, most recently in a study by the Institute for Women’s Policy Research. It found that New York state’s female millennials — those who became adults around the year 2000 — earned $1.02 for every buck brought in by young men.

In the rest of the nation, the supposed pay gap about disappears when you compare people who do similar work, such as waiters to waitresses and corporate honchos to corporate honchos.

If a worker’s education level is factored in, and if you consider that some women simply choose to step off the fast lane in order to raise families, the difference in pay vanishes, studies have shown.

Female pay inequity is “a tired cliché,’’ Carrie Lukas, managing director of the Independent Women’s Forum, a conservative think tank, told me. “It can hurt women by perpetuating the idea that women are victims of systematic discrimination — we’re all doomed to failure.

“That’s not what you want your daughters to hear.’’

Females in Hollywood have a problem.

As hacked emails from within Sony Pictures reveal, actresses Amy Adams, 40, and Jennifer Lawrence, 24 — who won an Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role for 2012’s “Silver Linings Playbook’’ — were paid less than their male co-stars for their roles in the 2013 flick “American Hustle.’’ This is a terrible injustice. But I don’t think that folks at home need to join Arquette’s battle on behalf of wealthy white women who get screwed in the land of make-believe.

We’ve got bigger things to worry about. Such as working ourselves into the ground.

‘Pass’ the dope, rabbis

This gives new meaning to the Jewish High Holidays. Officials from a company in Colorado, a state in which growing, selling and using recreational marijuana is legal, are working with New York rabbis on a plan to get kosher certification for edible pot products, The Post reported.

Signed into law last year by Gov. Andrew Cuomo, New York state’s Compassionate Care Act by next year is set to allow sufferers of many debilitating diseases to get high, but only by swallowing marijuana in capsules or adding it to food, not by smoking it.

Pot plants don’t have to be certified kosher, but added ingredients could make them unfit for ingestion by observant Jews.

Just try to avoid chowing down on traif bacon when you get the munchies.

Glitz & glam in Tinkletown

A man answered a knock on his office door in Santa Monica, Calif.

“I have Oprah and she really has to pee!’’ exclaimed “Selma’’ director Ava DuVernay. In town for the Oscars ceremony, Oprah Winfrey, the billionairess talk-show doyenne and film producer, then got out of an SUV and used the stranger’s plumbing.

Keep the toilet paper handy, people. You never know who’s going to show up with an urgent need.

Still a Bond babe

At age 50, Italian bombshell Monica Bellucci is the oldest Bond girl ever cast in a movie with British agent James Bond, now played by 46-year-old Daniel Craig.

Or, as Bellucci prefers to refer to herself, she’s the oldest “Bond woman’’ ever cast. She romances James Bond in the flick “Spectre,’’ set for release in November. Have moviemakers finally learned that women can be hot after age 40 or 50? (Or older?)

We’ll see.

Not nice to fool Mother Nature

New York City publicist Tracey Kahn just gave birth to her second daughter. I mention this only because Kahn is single — and 51 years old.

There seems to be no limit to the age at which women may procreate if they have money to spend on reproductive technology.

I just hope that Kahn’s little one is willing to change her mom’s diapers.