The Ultimate Freezer Burn

2nd place in Derby #245: Poetry Illustrated, with 597 votes!

What’s this? You two are still arguing? Didn’t I tell you both to get this figured out and done millennia ago? I told you, I don’t care which one does it. Freeze ‘em, burn ‘em, whatever. Just get it done already. The people on that little Blue Ball of Blunder are way overdue for destruction.

I mean, look at them. They’re so lost and broken at this point that they’re creating captioned pictures of cats and flinging virtual birds at virtual pigs for entertainment. There’s war, disease, hunger, and corruption all over the place, but they’re too busy complaining about the ending of a video game to care. They’re done! Finished! Over! We let that lot go on any longer, they’ll just regress back to being blathering idiots and hitting each other with stones like they did when this whole mess started.

Can’t you just share the deed? Like what if Fire burns half the planet with the Sun, while Ice provides a slow, withering death to everything on the other side? See? Simple. Oh, you two don’t like that idea, huh? Fine, keep bickering then. But I want that world ended by the end of this year, kids. I mean it.

Wear this shirt: while whimpering about how the world might end.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’d rather the world end in marshmallow fluff.

This shirt tells the world: “And I feel fine.”

We call this color: The Black Darkness at the End of All Things

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