The Porcupine Festival put on by the Free State Project in Keane, New Hampshire is a raucous gathering of liberty activists that meets annually for fun, food and freedom fighting. Every year the liberty loving participants hold events, lectures and sell merchandise related to the cause of freedom and civil rights.

Last year the editor of The Libertarian Republic participated in a spirited debate over the nature of conspiracy theories. The event packed the tent and incited enormous amounts of discussion related to the future of libertarian ideas and the liberty movement in general.

The 2012 Porcfest lecture series includes a section devoted to free style rants about government, each other, or anything. One older activist, Emily Sandblade gave a bodyslam of a speech positing that a mafia is superior to a government listing ten bullet point reasons why. Her list and her video are below. Do you disagree? What points do you refute?

10 Reasons Why a Mafia is Better than a Government

#10 – The Mafia has a sense of honor. If they say they will do something, they’ll do it. If the government says it will do something, you can count on it only if you’re getting screwed.

#9. The Mafia code of conduct is simple, clear, easy to understand and unfettered from millions of regulations.

#8. When the mafia goes to war there is little collateral damage to civilians. War is the health of the state, but for the mafia it’s bad for business.

#7. Instead of banning drugs or alcohol, the mafia peacefully provides high quality products to people who want them.

#6. When you buy protection from the mafia, you get protection. The mafia limits violent crime in the areas they protect, when you buy protection from the state you can dial 911 and die.

#5. The mafia’s protection is much less expensive than the states. The mafia wants around 10- 15% of your profits and the various levels of government agencies want at least 45% of your profits.

#4. Unlike the state, the mafia actually wants your business to succeed. They understand that without your business succeeding you will be unable to pay for their protection. Government bureaucrats get paid no matter what.

#3. The mafia won’t keep you from having a gun. The state wants you disarmed. The mafia gladly sells you the weapons you need to protect yourself.

#2. The state wants to regulate what you want to do in your bedroom. The mafia will sell you whatever you want for your private enjoyment.

#1. The mafia has a great sense of style, they dress far better than government bureaucrats and they are much easier on the eyes.

Emily Sandblade’s rant is below.

