@DrOxtongue

“Keep watching the skies…”



It’s a term we all love to abuse, even me, but what significance does it have in this day and age?

Since the dawn of time,man and monkey have gazed up at the stars and pondered life’s most demanding questions….

Where do we come from? Are we alone? Will it rain sausage rolls? Is the moon made of cheese? Will we ever leave this planet?

After man, or chimp, asks these questions he waits a few moments, but hears nothing apart from a predictable silence and the quandaries go unanswered – often for centuries.

My friends…recently the chaos of the world has been raping my spirit and drooling o’er my soul.

You have ISIS gallivanting around middle earth riding on the back of gold plated, diamond encrusted Toyotas, to western leaders trying to suppress our right to watch pornography on the internet.

ISIS: Sponsored by Toyota Hilux….and maybe the CIA

Homelessness is still an issue, old dears are still turning to icicles during the winter season, the cost of life is still rising, mortgages cost more than a small island off the coast of Lesbos and depraved men are still making sweet, sweet love to horses under the shroud of darkness.

I was about to give in.

I was about to buy the finest 100 tablets of morphine the black market had to offer and drift off in the bath, with my friend Glenfiddich, to the third moon of Saturn.

But then something happened…

A resident of Salford, identity unknown, filmed something quite remarkable which attempted to answer one of those niggling questions I mentioned earlier.

My friends, we are not alone – Aliens walk among us.

The anonymous Salford resident filmed a Grey Alien walking around the City of Salford, Greater Manchester, and posted it to a Youtube channel dubbed: ‘Para Truthers’

The grainy, amateur, hand-held footage is the closest thing to clarity our world has to offer at this point in time.

In a bygone age one may have contacted the MET office and frantically tried to explain the sighting of cream bellied martian men running around alleys or fields, but we are living in chaotic times brothers and the MET office couldn’t give a single dirty feck.

The video attracted the attention of the national press and within a few days of its upload to Youtube (a popular video hosting website for ISIS and other extreme groups) a fearless journalist named Emma Flanagan posted the story to the Daily Mirror online, Manchester Evening News, and several other news platforms.

The Mirror doing their part….

This bold move spurred the video to go viral.

At this point in time the video has 80, 000 views, but it’s quite possible it may breach the 100,000 view club very soon, and that’s not counting the 18, 000 it has on the Daily Mirror’s Youtube channel.

With help from home grown UFO fanatics posting to thousands of followers on twitter, the blogosphere posting articles faster than the spread of lice in the Congo, and tribute acts re-uploading the video on Youtube, this content is sure to make its mark on extraterrestrial fanatics and even non-believers across the globe.

Have a watch, what do you think?

The channel has received many hate fuelled comments since the upload of the video, and a tirade of accusations on several influential news websites and blogs.

For all we know the anon alien hunter is cowering in the shadows, shivering in fear…This man needs to speak for himself.

The sad thing is that this man will most likely never speak, or make his identity known.

I assume this for a fact after sending the Youtube channel ‘Para Truthers’ several messages expressing my impartial interest towards delving deeper into the rabbit hole – alas my efforts have been in vain.

I look up at the sky and no one answers my questions.

I look down to the ground and notice I’m not wearing any pantaloons, or stockings, and throw up all over my big tasty.

‘The Salford Alien’ exists in all of us he is just waiting to be exploited by the press, or another fellow humanoid, until your time comes kick back and try not to join ISIS.