With the number of Catholic clergymen in the United States waning, those who choose the pious life of the priesthood are presented with many practical and spiritual challenges. Here is a step-by-step guide to becoming a priest:

Step 1 : Make sure you truly feel summoned to the priesthood rather than simply seduced by its promise of a glamorous life of chastity and contemplation



: Make sure you truly feel summoned to the priesthood rather than simply seduced by its promise of a glamorous life of chastity and contemplation Step 2 : Decide whether to follow the path of the priesthood or pursue other key roles within the Church, such as catechist, deacon, or archangel



: Decide whether to follow the path of the priesthood or pursue other key roles within the Church, such as catechist, deacon, or archangel Step 3 : Before applying to seminaries, update your highlight reel with your best performances of the seven Holy Sacraments



: Before applying to seminaries, update your highlight reel with your best performances of the seven Holy Sacraments Step 4 : Candidates must personally feel the call of God to spend a life in servitude of Him, though you won’t have to prove that or anything



: Candidates must personally feel the call of God to spend a life in servitude of Him, though you won’t have to prove that or anything Step 5 : Take a good, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself if your body type really works with a chasuble



: Take a good, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself if your body type really works with a chasuble Step 6 : Obtain letters of recommendation from two patron saints of your choice



: Obtain letters of recommendation from two patron saints of your choice Step 7 : Memorize the chart that assigns the amount of times one must repeat certain words in order for their actions to be forgiven



: Memorize the chart that assigns the amount of times one must repeat certain words in order for their actions to be forgiven Step 8 : Seminary diploma is withheld until student defeats the Devil best of three in a game of the Devil’s choosing



: Seminary diploma is withheld until student defeats the Devil best of three in a game of the Devil’s choosing Step 9: Enjoy hard-earned 10 percent discount at participating Chili’s locations

