So, I’m a bit of a collector.

Not specifically of anything. Mostly I just collect stuff. This can infuriate my wife, but when it’s been eight weeks and I need something to post, I guess it comes in handy.

These are five real, actual things that I just had sitting around near my computer in the office.

#1) Dr. Doom

This one is the best. Dr. Doom is just ready to give you some hard advice. The action figure isn’t out to rule the world, no. He’s out to tell you that you shouldn’t eat all that crap, and for fuck’s sake, go to bed already.

Look at him. He’s tough, but fair.

#2) R2D2/C3P0 puzzle thing

I got this in a happy meal, I think. Or a Wendy’s kids meal. It came with a burger, is all I know for sure.

This is like a rubik’s cube, but simpler and more awful. Artoo is back together, but Threepio is a jumbled mess on the back. I can’t figure it out. It’s maddening.

#3) Official Stuffed Peep

My old room-mate Mariana gave this to me. She had a hard time with food with a face. This meant vegetarianism, yes, but also candy. I can do a great falsetto voice for Peeps, before I cruelly murder them in my hungry maw.

She got me this as a way to try to, I dunno, make me love the Peeps and set them free? I only eat peeps when this guy is around.

To watch.

#4) 1980 Corvette Hot Wheels

This car was made in 1982. It’s 33 years old, and it’s teal and orange. It looks like Roger Moore would drive it.

I keep it because it’s old.

#5) Bendy Iron Sheik

This guy is amazing. This is from my childhood toy box, survived a second life with my nephew, and now is back on my desk. Look at the flower pattern on his tights? That is a resilient paint job there, as this toy was beaten up.

Just looking around here, there are hundreds of things I could post here. Damn. I need to clean this place up, Doom is right.