The Mormon Temple - Not so sacred secrets revealed

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I Receive The "Second Endowment" 05/24/2016 - by Anonymously Anointed

When I was a young and devout Mormon boy of 19 (many, many years ago) I was thrilled to be called on a mission. In those days missionaries were trained at the training center in Salt Lake City. One of the first activities of the new missionaries at the missionary training center was to go through a ritual called the “endowment.” All adult Mormons (if they are deemed worthy enough to get this great blessing) go through this secret ritual in a Mormon temple, and it is also part of the missionary initiation.

Each adult Mormon goes through this ritual the first time on behalf of himself. But Mormons are encouraged to repeat the ritual, with each subsequent endowment as a proxy for some person who died as a non-Mormon, and who thus will be allowed into heaven because some devout Mormon today has done "the temple work" on his behalf, thus qualifying that dead person to share in heaven's blessings. Devout Mormons are encouraged to go through the endowment as proxy regularly, once a month or even once a week.

A relatively unknown temple ritual - unknown even to many faithful Mormons - is the so-called "Second Endowment" (also called "Second Anointing"), given only by invitation to the very top Mormon leaders and their wives, each couple privately in the "Holy of Holies" room of the temple. During that ritual, the recipients are ordained "priests and kings" and "priestesses and queens," and assure that their "calling and election" has been made "sure," meaning that they are now guaranteed first-class admission to the Celestial Kingdom, regardless of their sins. Part of the ritual is performed by the couple in the privacy of their home, with the wife washing her husband's feet and giving him a blessing.

After training, each missionary left Salt Lake City to the mission assigned. My mission was in a large city near the east coast of the United States. I was assigned by the mission president to a "senior companion," who was supposed to get me started and teach me the day-to-day ropes of missionary work. He and I shared a small apartment in one of the seedier parts of town. The work was tedious and frustrating, and we did not have great success in gaining converts.

But the months went by, and my senior companion was transferred to another part of the mission, and I was given a "junior companion," who was to learn the ropes from me. His name was Ned Bronson, from Sanpete, Utah. (By the way, all names in these pages are fictitious, even the names of fictitious people.) He was tall and lanky, and spoke with that southern Utah drawl that is unmistakable. He was easy-going and good natured, and quite ignorant of anything other than what he had learned in Sunday School and after-school Primary..

There were other missionaries, of course, and we got to know some of them casually, other than at meetings of the mission staff. There were a few "sister" missionaries, a few years older than most of us elders. Sister Rogers was very good-looking - I was surprised that no former missionary (a "returned missionary" or RM) had not snatched her up back home. Even in her very conservative dresses she was a stunning figure. She came from the Los Angeles area, and some of the sophistication of that area had penetrated into her in spite of the Mormon shell around her. Her companion was Sister Evans, from Mesa, Arizona, a very Mormon town with its own temple (at that time there were less than a dozen temples on the entire planet. Sister Evans was very petite, with reddish-brown hair and green eyes, and slightly droopy eyelids that gave her a sultry look. But she had a strong personality. They had an apartment just a few blocks from where Elder Bronson and I lived, so we saw them often.

One day we got a phone call from Sister Rogers, inviting me and my companion for dinner. Since missionaries generally survive on macaroni and cheese or tunafish sandwiches, a dinner invitation is always welcome. We gladly accepted, and agreed to come to their apartment on the evening of our one day a week off. When they greeted us at the door, it was obvious that they had gone to a lot of trouble to make it a nice evening. Although the table was nicely set, with candles and paper napkins, the dinner was not going to be a feast, unless compared to our usual fare. Canned ham, rice, canned peas, and some chopped lettuce with mayonnaise for a salad. Dessert would be vanilla yogurt with Oreo cookies. Sister Rogers asked me to say the blessing on the food. But before we started to eat, there came a surprise.

Sister Evans produced a bottle of chianti wine, with four wine glasses. Elder Bronson objected. "Hey, what's this? Is that wine? We shouldn't be drinking that!"

Sister Rogers assured him, "We are following the example of the Savior, whose first miracle, at Cana, was providing wine to the wedding guests for their pleasure. Before we drink it, Sister Evans will bless and sanctify it to our use. Sister Evans?"

"Wait!" hollered Bronson. "What would the mission president say?"

"President Hales?" said Evans. "He doesn't know anything about this. How would he?"

"We're going to have to confess to him if we break the Word of Wisdom!"

"Then don't tell him! Is that so difficult? One important lesson you still have not learned, Elder Bronson, is that there are some things so sacred and so intimate that they are not to be discussed or even revealed to others, to those who would not accept and understand. Didn't you learn that in the temple?"

"Well, yes, but..."

Sister Rogers interrupted him: "This is one of many sacred moments that deserve that respect. And silence! Sister Evans, go ahead now and bless the wine."

Sister Evans picked up her glass of wine, bowed her head, and said,"O God, the Eternal Father, we ask Thee to bless and sanctify this wine to the souls and bodies of those who partake of it, that they may do so in remembrance of the work of Thy Son, who through the power given to him gave joy and pleasure to many. Amen."

That sounded very much like the standard prayer that is offered over the water that substitutes for wine in Mormon church services (that other religions call "the Lord's Supper" or the "eucharist"). But the part that spoke of the "blood of Thy Son, which was shed for them" was omitted.

She then took a big swallow, and said, "Do not spurn what God has offered you!"

"Elder Bronson, Elder Preston? You may now drink the wine. It has been blessed for your use."

Bronson lifted his glass slowly and finally took a sip, and made a face. The sisters and I also drank. I liked what the sisters had said, and did not feel any guilt about it. It felt good, going down. So that's what wine tastes like! I thought.

Sister Evans said, "We are now joined together in the fellowship of the grape! Now let us eat!"

I noticed that as we ate, Bronson finished his wine, and Sister Evans refilled his glass.

After we had finished eating and the sisters had cleared the dishes away, they invited Bronson and me to sit on the sofa. Rather than sitting down in the other chairs, they stood in front of us as though they were going to make a speech. And they did.

Sister Rogers spoke, very slowly and very solemnly: "Brethren, we have been authorized to offer you a special blessing because of your worthiness and devotion. You may have heard of that most holy of all sacred ordinances, the Second Endowment or Second Anointing. Very few are invited to receive it. Sister Evans and I have received it, and we are authorized to offer it to you. This will be the only opportunity you may have to receive it. It will not be offered to you a second time. If you choose to receive it, you will be required to make certain binding covenants, the nature of which cannot be revealed to you beforehand. You will also be placed under the strictest obligation of secrecy, never to reveal even the slightest detail of the ordinance to any other person. You will also be forbidden to ask questions during the performance of the ordinance, or even to speak unless commanded to do so. Do you wish to receive your Second Endowment now? Each of you answer yes or no."

Bronson and I sat there stunned, and looked at each other for a moment.

I said, "Can we ask a couple of questions first?"

"You may ask, since we have not yet begun, but I cannot assure you that your questions will be answered."

"I thought that the Second Endowment was performed only in the Holy of Holies in the temple?"

Sister Rogers said, "That is true, although parts of it are performed privately in the home. As for the Holy of Holies, this room has been dedicated and set apart as a temporary Holy of Holies for the purposes of administering the ordinance. The ordinance has also been modified in form from the one performed in temples. Any other questions?"

Bronson had another question: "How can you sisters administer an ordinance when you don't even hold the priesthood?

Sister Evans replied, "You will recall that in the previous endowment, sister temple workers did indeed perform sacred ordinances, because they were authorized to do so. And besides, Sister Rogers and I do indeed hold the priesthood, but it is not the same as the male priesthood. It is given only to women, and has been handed down directly from Heavenly Mother, through generations of time."

Bronson said, "I was told that the purpose of the Second Endowment was to make sure one's calling and election. Is that right?"

Sister Evans replied, "Yes, your calling and erection will be made sure."

"Well?" said Sister Rogers. "Are you ready and willing to accept your Second Endowment?"

Sister Evans added, "If one of you accepts and the other does not, the one who does not accept will be required to leave at once."

There was a long silence, during which Bronson and I kept looking at each other. Finally, I said, "Yes, I accept. I would like to receive the ordinance."

Bronson got a frightened look on his face and stared at me. "But I am never supposed to be away from my companion! I can't leave without you, Elder Preston!"

"Then say you accept, Bronson!" I said.

"Okay, I guess I accept." It was obvious that he was not happy about the situation. "I guess I have to."

"Good!" said Sister Evans. "You have made a good decision. You will not regret it, I promise you."

Sister Rogers took over: "You will see that this version of the Second Endowment is similar in many ways to the endowment you have already received, but that it also differs in many ways, making it closer to resembling the joys and glories of the Celestial Kingdom. As the first step in the ordinance you are required to receive the Law of the Second Endowment and to take a solemn covenant to strictly observe it. Are you now prepared to do so?"

"I guess so," said Bronson.

"Then both of you rise and you will have the Law explained to you." Bronson and I stood up.

"This is the Law of the Second Endowment: That while receiving the Endowment you are to remain solemn and silent, speaking only when commanded. You are not to make any facial expressions, not to smile, or smirk, or laugh, but at all times show only respect and silent devotion, under penalty of being immediately expelled from the room and committed to eternal misery and regret. You are to obey every instruction given you without demur or hesitation, but with only good will, joy, and gratitude in your heart for the blessings you are receiving. Do you understand what this Law requires of you?"

We both nodded.

Sister Rogers then said: "Bring your right arm to the square!" We did so. "Do you, and each of you, solemnly promise and covenant to observe and keep the Law of the Second Anointing, as it has been explained to you? Each of you bow your head and say 'Yes'."

We bowed our heads and said "Yes."

"Very well," said Sister Evans. "You will now kneel at this sofa, which for the present is a sacred altar. You will bow your heads in prayer, asking God to keep you worthy of the blessings you are about to receive. Sister Rogers and I are leaving you for a few moments and will return shortly. Until then, continue to pray until you are instructed to stop."

Bronson and I did as instructed, after giving each other quizzical glances. I don't think I had ever prayed more fervently and sincerely. This was obviously going to be a great moment in my life.

In a few minutes we heard the sisters coming back into the room. One of them said, "Do not move until you are told to do so!" We obeyed, staying in position on our knees at the sofa. Rather, at the "altar."

In a moment we heard Sister Rogers say, "You may now rise and turn around, remembering your covenant to remain silent."

We got up from our knees and turned around. I gasped. The sisters were standing in front of us, about three feet away, solemnly looking us in the eye. They had used make-up on their faces - their lips were a cherry red, the cheeks a gentle pink. Their eyelids had been darkened a little, as had their eyebrows. They were wearing some kind of perfume that I had not noticed before, that had a kind of musky and enticing fragrance. And that was all that they were wearing, except for their white temple garments with the sacred markings. The material of the garments was not entirely opaque, so that the faint color of skin shone through in places, as well as the brown circle of nipples behind the sacred breast markings of the "square" and "compass." Sister Rogers had the kind of body I had guessed from seeing her fully clothed: full body, everything nicely round, fairly large breasts, hips high and not too broad, and a slightly protruding belly. Sister Evans was smaller, with smaller breasts but larger aureoles around the nipples. She was obviously in good physical shape, with muscular arms and legs, and a very tiny waist and flat abdomen.

Bronson muttered, "Holy shit!"

Sister Evans immediately said "Silence! You have now already brokenyour covenant of silence!" She turned to Sister Rogers. "Should he be expelled as a covenant-breaker, or merely punished?"

"If he will accept punishment, he may remain. Elder, will you accept the punishment you deserve for breaking your oath of silence?" He stood there, goggle-eyed, with his mouth open.

"Say yes, for heaven's sake," I whispered to him. So he finally said, "OK, uh, yes, I guess."

"Drop your pants and kneel at the altar!" ordered Sister Rogers. He hesitated a moment.

"Do it!" I whispered. So he did as he had been told, but very slowly. When he was in position, with his pants around his ankles, and only his thin garment covering his behind (and not likely to be much of the protection Bronson had been promised when he received it in the temple), Sister Evans reached into a large basket that they had apparently brought into the room, filled with various things like towels, bottles and other items we couldn't see.

She pulled out a large paddle, like a ping-pong paddle, only larger. "How many?" she asked. Sister Rogers said, "One on each side, but hard! And Elder, do not make any sound during your punishment, or it will be doubled!"

Sister Evans did as she had been told, and gave Bronson a mightly whack on each buttock. He could not avoid making a kind of gasping sound as each blow struck, but it did not trigger more of the same treatment.

"Now pull your clothes as they were and face us!" commanded Sister Rogers. When he had done so, and we stood facing the semi-naked women, she continued:

"We have been instructed to reveal to you our true identities. We are messengers from Father and Mother. We have been ordained and anointed queens and priestesses of the Most High Gods. I am Mary."

"I am Martha," said Sister Evans.

"What you see before you is the embodiment of the scripture which says that the body is a temple. Here are two holy temples, covered with the veil of the temple with its sacred markings. You are about to receive the most sacred and joyous ordinance which our Parents have devised for the edification, instruction, joy and exaltation of their children. You are to receive the sacred signs and tokens of the higher priesthoods, which shall be required of you when you are to enter the Celestial Kingdom of Exaltation. Before you receive them, you must first be washed and anointed. Remove all your clothing and place it behind the altar and present yourselves in the innocence and nakedness in which you entered the world from your mother's womb."

"Even our garments?" gasped Bronson. The sisters (or rather, "Mary" and "Martha") exchanged shocked looks. "No questions!" said Martha firmly. "Another punishment?" and looked at Mary. "Not for now. We'll see how well they obey. The other brother is doing as told."

I was indeed taking off my clothes, and piled them behind the sofa. Bronson was slowly doing the same. I realized that I was getting an erection, but noticed that Bronson was not. I think he was shaking slightly. When we were both in our birthday suits, Mary said, "Now come and stand in front of the altar. We will wash and anoint you separately. Which of you will be first?"

Bronson said, "Not me!" So I said, "I'll be first."

Mary said to Bronson, "Stand silently to one side. You shall be the witness to this brother's washing and anointing, and then he shall act as witness for yours." To Martha: "Prepare to wash and anoint this brother preparatory to his receiving the Second Endowment."

Martha pulled a large pan out of the basket and placed it on the floor in front of me. "You are to stand in this vessel to receive your washing." I obeyed, and stepped into the pan. Mary and Martha brought a basin of water from the kitchen area and got some cloths out of the basket. Martha poured a little fragrance into the water from a bottle in the basket, and they dipped their cloths into it and proceeded to rub the cloths all over me, beginning with my head and neck, then my arms and hands, then all over my torso, down my belly, over my buttocks and into my crotch. They took a long time on my now very hard erection. As they went over each part of my body, Martha was saying appropriate pronouncements: "We wash your eyes that they may see beauty and truth, your ears that they may hear words that give joy, your breast that it may feel love and tenderness, your back that it may be strong, your arms that they may clasp to you what you hold dear, your hands and fingers that they may always give pleasure in their touch, your loins that they may always perform the duties required of them, and your entire body, that it might be the temple of joy and happiness which God intended it to be." When they had moistened my entire body, they towelled me off, rubbing vigorously everywhere.

Mary then said, "We will now anoint you." Martha got a small vial of some kind of fragrant oil from the basket, and poured a little into Mary's hands. Mary then started rubbing me all over with the oil, repeating a similar blessing to the washing blessing. I had to hold my breath and grit my teeth as she anointed my erection, slowing rubbing her fist back and forth a few times on it.

They then took a towel and rubbed off the excess oil. Then Martha got a small packet out of the basket, and Mary said, "We now place upon you the Condom of the Holy Priesthood." And it was in fact a condom. Being a good Mormon boy I had never actually seen one, but I had heard about them. As Martha proceeded to unroll it slowly it on my very firm erection, Mary continued: "Inasmuch as you are faithful and obedient, this condom will protect you from evil and all untoward eventualities, so long as you wear it in gentle love and unselfishness."

When the condom was on, she continued, "With this condom we give you a new name, which you must never reveal except at a certain place later in the Endowment. The new name is 'Stud'. You will now act as witness to the other brother's washing and anointing."

I stepped aside, and Bronson, trembling a little, I think, stepped into the pan, where the entire process was repeated, with Mary and Martha playing the reverse roles they had played with me. By this time, Bronson was in a sufficiently tumescent state that Mary had no problem in getting the condom onto him.

There we stood, Bronson and I, both stark naked, wearing only a condom on a huge erection.

Mary then instructed us: "You are about to receive the tokens, signs, and names of the Holy Priesthoods. Unlike those of the First Endowment, these have no penalties associated with them, although you are obligated to keep them secret from a curious world. Please be seated on the altar and watch with full attention. While watching, you are to follow the commandment in the Book of Mormon to 'hold to the rod,' in order that no part of you should grow weak in the faith. However, keep your hands perfectly still, since masturbation is a violation of the rules under which missionaries are bound, and you do not want to cause a premature end to the ceremony."

Mary said: "We will now demonstrate to you the First Token of the Aarotic Priesthood. The token is given and received with each person extending the tongue so that the tips are touching, then rotating the tips around each other to the right at least three times, or as many times as the Spirit may instruct you. We shall now demonstrate."

Martha faced Mary, and they opened their mouths and touched their tongues together as Mary had described, moving them around several times. Mary then said, "That is the First Token of the Aarotic Priesthood. We desire all to receive it. Please rise, and continue to hold to the Rod."

Bronson and I stood up. Mary came over to me with her tongue out, and I opened my mouth and put out my tongue. I could smell her perfume and I inhaled her breath. I looked directly into her eyes, and she rubbed her tongue over mine several times. Martha was doing the same to Bronson.

Mary then said, "You may be seated." We sat back down on the altar. She continued, "The sign of the First Token of the Aarotic Priesthood is made by extending the tongue between the lips without opening the mouth more than necessary, and moving the tip of the tongue up and down three times. I will now demonstrate the sign." And she did, first in Bronson's direction, and then toward me. "The giving of the sign is a request to exchange the Token."

Martha said, "The name of the token is 'The Tongue.' We will now demonstrate to you the Second Token of the Aarotic Priesthood. The token is given and received by each person opening the lips slightly and pressing them against the other's lips, pressing at least three times without breaking contact. "

Mary turned to face Martha, and they kissed as described. Martha then said, "That is the Second Token of the Aarotic Priesthood. We desire all to receive it. Please rise, but continue to hold to the Rod."

Bronson and I stood, still grasping our erections. Martha came over to me with her lips leading the way, and I held my lips ready for her. She pressed her mouth against mine, all the time looking me straight in the eyes. At the same time, Mary was kissing Bronson (or rather, she was giving him the Second Token). Martha stepped back, and said, "You may be seated. The sign of the Second Token of the Aarotic Priesthood is made by placing the fingers of the right hand over the mouth, then moving the hand forward until the arm is extended with the palm upward while pursing the lips slightly. I will demonstrate the sign." She did so, blowing one kiss toward Bronson and then another toward me.

"The name of the token is 'The Kiss'. We will now demonstrate to you the Third Token of the Aarotic Priesthood. It is a combination of the First and Second tokens, given and received with the hands on the cheeks or the shoulders of the other person."

Martha put her hands on Mary's cheeks, and Mary drew her closer with hands on Martha's shoulders, and they kissed each other for what seemed like a long time, moving their faces against each other and making soft moaning sounds. Finally they parted, and Martha said, "That is the Third Token of the Aarotic Priesthood. We desire all to receive it. Please rise, and free your hands from the Rod."

We stood up, and Mary came over to me, took my face in her hands, and thrust her tongue into my mouth, breathing deeply with her eyes closed. Her mouth tasted wonderfully of mint, and I could feel her shoulders shaking slightly. She seemed to be sucking on my tongue when I extended it into her mouth, so I also sucked gently on hers in turn. When she broke away, she gasped a moment and looked at me. Martha still had Bronson's head in her hands, sucking on his mouth. He had let go of her shoulders. but I could see that his eyes were rolling.

Martha paused a moment after letting go of Bronson, and took several deep breaths. Then she continued the instruction. "You may be seated. The sign of the Third Token of the Aarotic Priesthood is made by making the sign of the First Token, followed immediately by the sign of the Second Token. The name of the Third Token of the Aarotic Priesthood is 'The Tongue Kiss.'"

Mary then said, "We will now demonstrate to you the First Token of the Fe-male-kiss-a-dick Priesthood. This token is given by taking the other person by the hips, using both hands, and drawing close so that the lower parts of the torso are touching, and then pressing them together firmly at least three times, all while looking directly into the other's eyes." She and Martha then did as described, rubbing their bodies together several times while looking directly at each other.

"That is the First Token of the Fe-male-kiss-a-dick Priesthood. We desire all to receive it. Please rise and release the Rod."

Bronson and I stood up. I was wondering what I was going to do with the Rod while receiving this token. Martha came over to me, took me by the hips, and raised her leg slightly so that she was able to hold the Rod between her thighs, straddling it. I was getting a little giddy. She pressed against me several times, smiling. "Don't even think of it!" she whispered.

Mary had positioned Bronson's erection between them, so that it got the pressure from her bumping against him. She was probably fearful of getting him past the point of no return, because she only held him against her for a few seconds.

"The name of the First Token is 'The Belly.' The sign is made by cupping the right hand and placing it over the crotch, and placing the left hand on the left buttock, and moving the lower torso back and forth three times." Mary demonstrated the sign.

Martha continued: "We shall now demonstrate to you the Second Token of the Fe-male-kiss-a-dick Priesthood, 'The Iron Rod' or 'The Matriarchial Grip'. This token is given to a brother by taking a firm grasp of his penis with the right hand and squeezing or rubbing it three times. It is received by the brother raising his hands and placing them on the sacred marks of the square and compass which are on the temple veil before him. When given to a sister, it is given by cupping the right hand, placing it under her loins, and raising the middle finger three times so as to press against the most sensitive spot there. All this is to be done while looking directly into the other's eyes."

Mary then faced Martha, who said, "I shall give, and you shall receive the token." Mary then cupped her hand and pressed it between Martha's legs, hard enough that Martha winced slightly. Martha raised up her hands and cupped Mary's full breasts in them. After holding that position for a moment, Mary said, "That is the Second Token of the Fe-male-kiss-a-dick Priesthood. We desire all to receive it. Please rise and release the Rod."

Bronson and I stood up. Mary turned to me and said, "I shall give, and you shall receive the token." She then reached down and took my Rod firmly in her hand and slowly started to move her hand back and forth, looking me straight in the eye, with a mischeivous smile on her lips. "You must do your part!" she whispered. I reached up and put my hands around those breasts. "Do not give in to temptation now!" she whispered, without the smile. I wondered what Bronson was thinking, but only for a moment.

When the priestesses had released us, Mary said, "You may be seated. The sign of the Second Token of the Fe-male-kiss-a-dick Priesthood is made by bringing the right hand forward, palm down, the fingers curled to form a loose fist. The left hand is also brought forward, palm down, fingers and thumb extended. The left thumb is then slowly inserted and withdrawn into the right-hand fist three times, while saying aloud, "O God, O God, O God." She then demonstrated the sign.

"As with the other signs, the making of this sign signifies an invitation to exchange the token. The name of the token will be given to you later."

Martha then spoke: "Brethren, you have now been given all the signs and tokens pertaining to the Second Endowment. You have received the names of all except one, which you will receive presently. You are now each to present yourself at the veil of the temple, to be examined as to your knowledge of the secret tokens and your worthiness, before being granted entrance. To do this, you will approach the temple and gently press on the call button three times. You will find it if you part the veil slightly. It is in the Sacred Grove which grows around the door to the temple. I will demonstrate." She stepped over to Mary, slipped her hand between Mary's legs, and pressed three times.

Mary said, "What is wanted?"

Martha said to us, "You will answer: 'Adam having been true and faithful desires to converse with the Goddess of the temple'.'

Mary replied, "Let him present himself at the veil, and his request shall be granted."

Martha then told us to simply follow the instructions that we were given. She looked at Bronson and he stepped over to her, very slowly. I went over to Mary. I paid no more attention to him, since I was concentrating on my own performance. I reached out and put my hand between her legs, found the sacred button, and pressed three times, very slowly.

"What is wanted?" she asked.

I said, "Adam having been true and faithful desires to converse with the Goddess of the temple."

Mary replied according to the script, and then said, "Have you been given a new name?"

"I have," I replied.

"Will you give it to me?"

"I will," I said, "the name is 'Stud'."

She then extended her tongue toward me. I stepped closer and touched my tongue to hers. She slowly rotated her tongue around mine several times.

"What is that?" she asked.

"The First Token of the Aarotic Priesthood," I replied.

She asked for its name, and I gave it: "The Tongue."

Then she pursed her lips and leaned closer to me. I responded by placing my lips on hers. She moved her lips slightly so as to pull part of my lip between her lips. It was a very nice kiss.

"What is that?" she asked. I answered, identifying it as the Second Token, and giving its name correctly.

Mary then took hold of my head and gave me the Third Token. She took a long time to do it, which was fine with me, although I was worried about how I was beginning to feel in my groin. Finally she released me, and asked me to identify the token and give its name.

I was beginning to wonder how much more of this examination I could endure without exploding. We exchanged the First Token of the FMKAD Priesthood as before, I gave the correct answers, and moved on to the Second Token. She took hold of my ready-to-burst Rod, I quickly put my hands on her breasts, and she asked, "What is that?"

"The Second Token of the Fe-male-kiss-a-dick Priesthood, the Iron Rod, or the Matriarchal Grip."

"Has it a name?"

I remembered from my previous endowment how the dialogue was supposed to go, and so I followed that script. "It has."

"Will you give it to me?"

"I cannot, for I have not received it. For this purpose I have come to converse with the Goddess at the temple."

"You shall receive it upon the altar, on the Five Points of Fellowship. Follow me to the altar." She led me over to the altar/sofa, pulling me behind her, her hand still gripping my Rod. She sat down close to the edge and looked up at me.

She then described the Five Points as she positioned herself in them: "The Five Points of Fellowship are: inside of left thigh to outside of right thigh, inside of right thigh to outside of left thigh, breast to breast, hand to back, cheek to cheek." She was still gripping my Rod, which was pointing at her navel.

With her mouth close to my ear, she whispered slowly: "This is the name of the Token: 'Fuggaminaw.' What is that?"

I could barely speak: "The Second Token of the Fe-male-kiss-a-dick Priesthood, the Iron Rod, or the Matriarchal Grip."

"Has it a name?"

"It has."

"Will you give it to me?"

"I will. 'Fuggaminaw'" I said.

She said, without moving, "That is correct. You have proven yourself worthy. Your request will be granted. Part the veil at the door of the temple and enter into your exaltation in the Holy Temple." She moved herself slightly, opened the flap in her garment, and took my Rod slowly into her very moist belly.

"Now you are in the Celestial Room. Do not make quick movements, but lie still and enjoy the full peace and pleasure there. You may stay as long as you like. You have now received the Second Endowment as well as the previous Endowment, and you may now consider yourself "well endowed." The ceremony itself is now ended, but the blessings are just beginning. Make them last, and remember that it is more blessed to give than to receive. You no longer must remain silent."

I wanted to speak, but I didn't know what to say. It was the most blissful moment I had ever experienced. I felt tears of joy and gratitude welling up in my eyes. "Thank you, thank you," was all I could say.

"It's okay to cry, as long as they are tears of joy. Now let's explore a little." She began to move her hips slowly in a circular motion, and I could see that she had closed her eyes and was digging her nails into my back. She was making little whimpering noises and biting her lip. I was struggling to hold back and make it last, until she said, "Let it go, honey, let go!" and the dam in me burst and I uttered the words of the Second Token without thinking: "O God O God O God!"

At the same moment something made her lie perfectly still, holding her breath and gritting her teeth, rigid as a board, and I could feel her groin muscles tighten around me. It lasted for several seconds, and then she relaxed and leaned back. She looked at me, smiling, grabbed my head and pulled my mouth to hers in the Third Token of the Aarotic Priesthood. We kept kissing for a beautifully long time. She was still holding me inside her, her legs gripping me. "Stay awhile," she said. "You feel good inside me!" and kept moving her hips in tiny motions, side to side and back and forth.

In the back of my mind I was wondering where Bronson was, and whether he had panicked at some point. Neither he nor Sister Evans was in the room. "Where's Martha? And my companion?"

"They're probably in the bedroom. We consecrated the beds as altars as well. I'm sure they're doing fine. Don't worry."

I could tell that my Rod was slowly shrinking and no longer quite as fulfilling to her as it had been. She said, "Go into the bathroom and rinse out the condom. Get it dry and sprinkle it with some bath talc you will find on the tub. Then roll it up again and come back. And wash your lance well with soap and water." I did as I was told, and when I came back, she was lying full-length on the sofa, with absolutely nothing on. The garment (the "veil of the temple") was on the floor. "You have already passed through the veil, so there is no need to have it cover the temple," she explained. I stood there, savoring the sight, taking in every inch of her skin, her face, her hair. She was gently pressing on her call button in the Sacred Grove.

"Let me look closer at your Rod. Come over here." I stepped closer and the hand that was not tending the Grove took hold of me in the Matriarchal Grip. It was semi-limp, but beginning to respond to the attention. She sat up a little, leaning on the elbow whose hand had been ringing her temple doorbell. "I'll show you now why our priesthood is called the Fe-Male-Kiss-A-Dick," and put her lips around my Rod, very gently rubbing its underside with her tongue. She sat up, and put both hands on my backside to keep me from backing away, which, of course, I was certainly not going to do. She was able to pull me so close that her nose was touching my abdomen, and every inch of my rod was in her mouth. But I was ready to pass out. My knees were about to buckle. She stopped swallowing me, and stood up. "You had better sit down," she suggested. So I did.

She spread my knees and knelt between them, once again tending to my now really iron rod, with both mouth and hand. It was wonderful, but excruciating and frustrating. I was worried that I might pop while she had me in her mouth, and that didn't seem a proper thing to do, even under these unusual circumstances. Fortunately she stopped, stood up, and said, "Where is that condom?"

I had forgotten that I still had it in my hand. I opened my hand, showing it to her, and she took it and unrolled it over the rod. Then she positioned herself over me, her knees on either side of my hips, and lowered herself onto it, very slowly, taking deep breaths as she took it in. Her hands on my shoulders, she looked me in the eye, smiled with her cherry-red lips, and said, "Massage my breasts! Pinch my nipples and make them hard!" Meanwhile she was riding me like she would a horse, posting at a steady gait, breathing faster and sucking in deep breaths. I could see small beads of sweat forming on her face and upper chest. I was doing the same, muscles tensing all over my body and the persperation forming on my belly, which was rubbing against hers, and my chest. Finally the rockets went bursting in air, and we collapsed in each other's arms. She was giggling softly, and gave me the Third Token of the Aarotic Priesthood, several times, for long times.

She rolled off of me into a sitting-slouching position on the altar, holding my hand. "Tell me now, Elder Preston. Have you ever experienced anything like this before?"

"Never!" I said.

"Your Rod has never entered any female temple before this, either with priesthood authority or not?"

"Never!"

"So your Rod has only received the Patriarchal Grip, and never the Matriarchal Grip?"

"I'm afraid so, Sister Rogers."

"I think now you may call me by my first name, which is Linda. And I will call you Robert. But only when we are engaged in temple work. OK?"

"So there might be repeats of this?" I hoped.

"Of course! Aren't we always encouraged to return to the temple often, to perform the sacred endowment rituals? And it does not have to be the same temple - you might benefit from hearing from your companion about his experience in the other temple here, and next time attend there, instead of here."

I was surprised at her suggestion. "But... this was just wonderful, with you. I can't imagine it with anyone but you, Linda." It seemed very intimate, using her first name, and not "Sister."

"Don't be silly. It will always be wonderful, with everyone, as long as you do it with kindness and consideration. Next time you will experience the same joy, but with Martha."

Just at that moment, Martha and Bronson came into the room, holding each other by the hand, with not a stitch of clothing on either. Martha was smiling. Bronson had a canary-eating look on his face, and looked a little bit ashamed.

"All right, Elders. You may get dressed now, and go home. Remember that you are under a covenant of the strictest secrecy regarding the events at the temple this day."

So Bronson and I dressed. We were offered another glass of the chianti, which we accepted and drank. Before Linda opened the door, she gave Bronson the Second Token of the Aarotic Priesthood, while Martha gave me the Third. It made me think more favorably of Linda's suggestion for the next time.

"Good night, Elders!" said Sister Evans. "Come back soon and often. And if you prove yourselves worthy, you might be offered the Third Endowment!"

We left and staggered out into the night, toward our place.

I said to Bronson, "If you ever mention any breath of this to anyone, I swear I will kill you!"

Bronson said, "I did think that I should confess to President Hales what happened, what I did, but then I decided that it might be better all around if I didn't."

"A very wise and mature decision," I said. "You have just saved your own life."

"I wonder," mused Bronson, "what the Third Endowment is like?"

Being a Mormon temple ordinance worker lead me toward resigning my membership 09/17/2015 - by Tom Padley at Recovery from Mormonism

Several years ago I served as an ordinance worker at the Jordan River Temple. I thought to myself, finally I'll get some answers to questions I've always wanted to ask. What better place to get answers than the temple, and as an ordinance worker I would surely become privy to the mysteries of heaven. Not so!

I was told to stop asking questions and just do the work. Well, nobody tells me to stop asking questions. That's when I turned to the Internet. And boy oh boy did I find answers. My journey toward enlightenment is still going on even though I resigned last year.

My biggest problem was Joseph Smith. After my initial period of study I came across the CES letter. This guy's 80 page letter nearly duplicated my conclusions. Anyhow, long story short, the Mormon church did a huge disservice to me and I'm sure it's destroying many with a lifetime of faithful service because of its policy of withholding truth. According to what I am continually learning, they are losing members in droves.

The truth will prevail and the leaders can no longer hide those truths.

Gilbert Arizona Temple Tour: "The whole thing is a doubletree lobby with white carpet" 11/05/2014 - by sb at Recovery from Mormonism

So I had dinner with a catholic coworker last night that is from New York City but was visiting family in Gilbert, AZ. They decided to attend the temple open house, because their momo neighbor invited them to tour "one of the most beautiful buildings in the world."

This is her report:

"Mormons seems to have two modes when you ask them about their church: NEVER talk about it or sales mode."

"As my grandmother's living room kept going on and on, we asked where the chapel or basilica was, we expected a cathedral, with stained glass windows, it turns out this giant doubletree lobby with white carpet WAS the temple"

"My mom blurted out: this is like the nicest conference room ever"

"as went went up the stairs your eyes meet the most homoerotic picture of Jesus I have ever imagined, he has a man kneeling down in front of him and his eyes are closed and he is leaning back slightly, it was the most sacrilegious thing I have ever seen"

"We looked at all the art and there was not one woman depicted, no wonder people feel mormon women are underrepresented, I mean not even a woman in the crowd? are they so clueless as so ignore 50% of their membership?"

"They could tell that we were not mormons, they greeted us very seriously and they treated the Xanax-blonde mormon women with huge smiles."

"They asked us if we had questions, I asked if/why women were not allowed to be in the artwork, I got the coldest stare I have ever seen and they ignored my question"

"They mentioned the temple clothes and that there was a video we could watch, I went home and watched it and laughed: how can they be so sacred and secret and NOW, SUDDENLY they are like -oh yeah lets make a youtube about it, it reeked of an inferiority complex"

"They can't seriously think that educated people will join them?! I had a lower opinion of them after, they now there with scientologists and Jehovah Witnesses "

_____________________________________________________________

A friend of mine went to the Nauvoo temple open house. (Her family on both her parent's sides lived in the Carthage/Nauvoo area years before the mormons ever arrived. We like to joke that her ancestors drove my ancestors out of the state.)

When she went through the open house she was told that the Celestial room is what mormons think heaven is like. So as soon as she got home from the tour she called to ask me if mormons really believe heaven is full of Ethan Allen knockoff furniture. - bezoar

What About the Temple Penalties Angers You the Most? 11/05/2014 - by azsteve at Recovery from Mormonism

Here is what angers me the most about the pre-1990 temple ceremony "penalties", starting with the worst things at the top.

1. They tricked me in to giving up something I wouldn't have given them if they had asked honestly.

2. Whether they meant it or not, they threatened my life and my happiness.

3. The oath of secracy included in that threat against me was yet another form of abuse. Without someone to talk to about it, the damage to my psyche festered and grew worse over time. Everyone knows ahead of time that there will be secrets. But no one knows that the secrets will include a threat to have your throat cut open from ear to ear.

4. The penalty threats are inconsistant with what I was taught about the church up until that time.

5. The church got people who I trusted to hide this from me until it could be sprung on me, intervention style. My only dysfunction up until that time was to have mistaken a cult for a valid religion, and wanting to be a better person.

6. The church has found good reason to discontinue this practice but has not yet seen the need to apologize for violating my trust and for making me feel threatened and unrightously controlled. And some day when they get around to making that apology, it better not be one of those "...I'm sorry you felt that way" apologies. That would just add yet another insult to the injury. They know what they've done wrong.

_____________________________________________________________

I thought it meant suicide. - Think2much

_____________________________________________________________

I went through the temple when they had the blood oaths.

They tell people that they can leave, at one point, and only at that point. Well, they ask BEFORE you have any clue of what is going to be required of you. During the suicide oaths, I was angry that had I agreed to stay, without any real information. During all three blood oaths, I had my fingers crossed behind my back, and as I said the words, I would interject: "God, I don't mean it! I don't mean it!" It was traumatic.

The Mormons in the temple must know it is weird and manipulative and false. I know this, because they had a rule--and perhaps still do--that no one is go to through the temple for the first time without a companion, of the same gender, to sit next to you and to keep an eye on you! If a family member or close friend can't be with you, then you are assigned a temple worker to sit right next to you. A friend of mine wanted to go alone to get her first endowments, and was in a different country. They would not allow her in, unless she agreed to have a stranger temple worker shadow her at all times.

I wanted to jump out of my seat and run--several times--but I was surrounded on one side by my mother and aunt, and on the other side by my SIL and her mother--and, oh, the humiliation. I was literally held hostage. I didn't really want to marry the hulking thug in the baker's hat, either, as he had begun to repulse me three days before the wedding. It was one of the worst days of my life, except for the physically painful days that followed.

You go in blindly and innocently, seeking God and more Truth, and you come out beaten down, having made promises you know you'd never keep, and disillusioned by the church you trusted. I felt absolutely alone and hopeless--for many years afterwards. - ExMoBandB

My Grandfather's Second Annointing - Calling & Election) 10/29/2014 - by templenamegabriel at Recovery from Mormonism

About 15 years ago my dad sat all of us kids (6) down to tell us about something important and amazing that happened to Grandpa. My mom was visibly uncomfortable and voiced a quiet plea for my dad to not continue with what he was going to say. After all, it was her father, not his that was the subject of the story. He resisted her pleas to stop and she submissively ended her protest.

He then told us how our grandfather, a Stake President, was taken to the temple recently and that an apostle had washed his feet. He said we weren't supposed to talk about it (hah) and that grandpa had his "calling and election made sure". I knew what that meant and was happy that Grandpa was guaranteed the highest degree of the celestial kingdom.

After a few minutes though I began to feel sad and confused. This grandpa, my maternal grandpa, was very quiet and didn't really talk to us kids. We were never allowed to touch anything other than toys in his house as my mom would recount how grandpa used to scold them as kids if they ever put their hands on the walls. I liked him, but he was very distant and unfriendly (and wealthy). I don't recall having any fun with him ever.

My paternal grandfather, however was my hero and friend did all the stereotypical grandpa/grandkid stuff. He was warm and funny and gave us all his attention. He was a convert and had become less active and drank tea, in short, he wasn't in nearly the same standing in the Mormon God's eyes as my maternal grandfather.

And that's what bothered me. The cold, gruff, unfriendly grandpa was going to heaven and the warm, fun, giving grandpa's eternal salvation was at stake because he didn't often go to church and drank tea.

Another related incident about the second anointing occurred while I was dating my wife. My dad seemed to think I was better than her because her family wasn't Mormon (she was a convert) and that this obvious misfortune needed to be pointed out to her. She had come to my parents house with one of her girlfriends to visit me. Something she did or said must have made him upset so he decided to have her and her friend sit down to tell us something important.

I had no idea what was coming, but this is what he said to the best of my memory: "Girls, sit down. I want to tell you about something so sacred that you can't repeat it." He looked at my future-wife and said, "you need to know the stock (old cowboy word for 'ancestry') my son comes from. A couple years ago his grandpa was taken into the temple and had his feet washed by an Apostle! Just like Jesus and the apostles of old. He had his calling and election made sure. That's the type of stock he comes from."

He left it at that. I don't recall anyone saying anything and slowly we all got up and resumed doing whatever we were doing before, but it makes me so mad looking back that he tried to use that experience to help her understand her 'place' in the world. My dad had no problem with status as he was, surprisingly, also a racist. But that's a story for another time.

Why a colonoscopy is better than an endowment session 09/02/2014 - by Brother Of Jerry and others at Recovery from Mormonism

1. It only takes one day to become sufficiently clean and pure.

2. They give you drugs that cause a veil of forgetfulness.

3. It doesn't require 10% of your income for life.

4. No creepy old men with bad breath.

5. Only one piece of ridiculous clothing.

6. No weird hand shakes.

7. Full disclosure beforehand.

8. You get a nifty video.

9. Don't normally have to do it before age 50.

10. Once ever ten years is usually often enough.

11. A colonoscopy may actually save your life.

12. You're allowed to talk about it afterwards.

13. They take pictures inside that you can have as a souvenir and to remember the good times with, not to mention sharing with your friends.

14. That prep is hell, but at least crap goes out. In the endowment crap gets shoved in your head.

15. The colonoscopy folks tell you to fart when it's over! Come to think of it, a resounding farewell fart at the end of the endowment might be a terrific celebratory touch. Add just the right note, you know?

16, You are allowed to talk about it afterword.

17. You KNOW what the doctor will do! I didn't know what the creepy veil worker would do or any of the other creepy things, i.e. touchy feely, circle chants, covenant my life to TSCC (The So Called Church.

18. The end justifies the means. And vice versa.

19. And all truth about your colon is circumscribed into one great hole.

20. Colonoscopy has for its purpose the prevention and removal of cancerous growth (polyps). Endowment's purpose is to implant the cancer of deceptive mormon ideas. This will grow and eventually eliminate the life force of the participant.

21. Either way you get a good reaming.

22. Either way, you have to bend over to get screwed from behind.

23. The endowment is painful to endure. Colonoscopy, not so much.

Re: All the praise for the Gilbert Arizona LDS Temple 02/18/2014 - by azcrazy

Had a TBM (True Believing Mormon) relative go through the special dignitary tour with various non member AZ State and city leaders a few week ago. When they all got to the sealing room the tour guide pointed to the alter and said "this is where the marriage is consummated."

It wasn't until they got out to the hall that my relative caught up to him and whispered in his ear "didn't you mean to say "consecrated??"

It was too late, many in the group had already wandered off ahead and did not hear the correction. So you can only image what the non LDS are thinking now! LMFAO!

To the temple again. This time they let me keep my underwear! 05/02/2010 - by Nightingale from Recovery from Mormonism

Last week I took myself and my tight jeans, pink panties and polka dot socks to Open House at the newest Mormon temple in Langley, B.C., Canada. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to go back to the temple so I waited til the last weekend and then the looming deadline of eternal closure to the great unwashed lured me in.

Thirty-three million dollars buys you a nice building on a big plot of land in an expensive spot on the planet. Five million more gets you a new meeting house, an outbuilding or two and an attractive (yet relatively modest) pad for the Misson President. The gardens ain't shabby either.

Smiling Mormon women in navy blue jackets, white blouses and long skirts and Mormon men (not so smiley) in the trademark white shirts conducted tours of about 30 people a time.

First we were led into the chapel where smiling sister missionaries thanked us for "coming to celebrate the temple with us". Uh no. I wasn't there to celebrate the temple. I was just having a nose-around while the doors were open.

I noticed there were no male missionaries, at least none involved in conducting tours. Maybe they're too frisky and risky to trust with non-members. :)

Whenever you enter a Mormon building as a non-mo, the video machine is sure to be primed and sure enough we were a captive audience for a 12-minute presentation giving a rundown on the purpose of the temple, local history relating to Mormons in B.C., BKP (I think) explaining that Mormonism is "not a re-invention but a re-storation", JRH blubbing about heaven not being heaven unless his wife and kids are there with him, and maybe TSM saying what, I can't remember. (It's scary to me that I still know those guys' middle initials!)

The video showed the temple rooms while it outlined the Plan of Salvation, the Pre-Existence and baptisms for the dead which the narrator referred to as "acts of love".

In the video there was a preponderance of Asian and Spanish members making comments in their own languages with a translator's voice overlaid. I noticed that no caption stated that we were listening to a translation (but I could hear the original voices faintly underneath the translator's words). I assumed they made the video for the local area to include some of the predominant ethnic groups here and also the B.C.-related history "to show the strength and history of the B.C. Church". The first Mormons arrived in January 1897. This I did not know. The narrator said that in March 1902 B.C. "became part of the Mormon northwest area". There were 52 people at the first meeting (not far off the average attendance at your typical SM here - just kidding!)

A couple sitting behind me said "oh please" a couple of times during the video. It made me laugh to think they might be exmos but I lost track of them and didn't ask (it may have been a bit rude anyway).

After the video we were led along a garden path (hehe) to a couple of women volunteers who had pulled the most important duty, that of putting paper booties on our feet over our footwear. They bent right down and served us by slipping on the booties, not what I had expected. I quipped, "Oooh, good thing I put on clean socks". They laughed heartily.

I was trying to keep a low profile, not engage with anyone, not mention I am a former member, not be memorable, not break anything. As soon as I saw the booties I blurted out "Oh, this is a much better idea than ripping out all the carpets and laying all new ones!" Then our guide asked me, "Are you a member?" I just shook my head.

At the temple we had a guide and a couple of followers, sheep-herding us through the tour, keeping us together, always a Mormon behind us and to either side, in addition to the tour guide. I guess they do need to be security conscious and avoid accidents and incidences.

Our tour guide as we filed into the temple foyer told us, "Look up" (she points up), "Look down" (she points down) and "Look around" (she gestures around). On the way out I heard the next guide saying, "Look up"... It made me laugh.

The guide spoke of "Restored Christianity", a term I haven't heard them use before (as with my post a few weeks back in which I mentioned a new term for dead baptisms - "ancestral baptism" - or at least I'd never heard that term before). I thought it is "Restored Gospel" but for the temple tour at least it was "Restored Christianity". That'll get the Christians in the group onside all right!

Our guide mentioned many times at the desk in the temple foyer that "we must be worthy" to enter the temple. They have NO CLUE how very strange indeed that sounds to outsiders and to Christians even more so - Mormons have to prove their worthiness, in an ongoing way, while Christians just plain believe "we're not worthy" - Jesus is the worthy one. She even said, on the third mention of worthiness, that "We have to prove to our local leaders that we are worthy". Again, a strange idea no matter which non-mo is hearing it.

The tour guide also mentioned "the Spirit" many, many times. She didn't actually explain what that was and in her whispery sing-song voice and staring manner (I guess prolonged eye contact with tour members) it started to sound quite strange. Christians usually refer to "the Holy Spirit" and maybe shorten it at times to "the Spirit" but she never said "Holy Spirit" or "Holy Spirit of God", just "the Spirit" over and over, saying "We hope you feel the Spirit that we have here with us in the temple". "Listen and feel the Spirit". (I irreverently wondered how you could listen to feel something).

She also said that a lot in the temple is symbolic, but she didn't explain that either. Even just one example would have been more helpful in understanding what she meant.

She said that the temple is "a place of kindness, love and light" where you feel "the serenity of heaven as you visit".

I noted that the first picture you see as you enter the temple is Jesus Christ in "fisher of men" mode, a very familiar image to Christians. The guide pointed to the picture and said "Jesus is our leader, our guide". If you're trying to say "We're Christian too" you miss it - again - with that type of comment. Christians would say "He is our Saviour", and then maybe guide, leader, etc after that, amongst all the other attributes.

I have read some comments here that the McTemple and its rooms look like a Marriott Hotel or other similar types of structures. I have to say I thought it looked of far better quality than any hotel room I've ever seen. The leaded glass windows all around the building, the plush white carpet, the beautiful wood curving staircase, the chandeliers, the different styles of chairs with varying fabrics, designs and colours, the roomy and well-furnished change rooms, the original murals of B.C. nature scenes, the obvious best-of-everything all combined to make it a striking building, exterior and interior. While it is a small size, you don't notice that from the inside where it seems roomy, functional and attractive.

I read a quote recently that I can't quite remember or source about all the impressive and beautiful stone buildings erected for religion while people want and starve. I agree with that sentiment. The Langley Temple is an attractive building. (Of course, eye-beholder). But $38M is a big bunch of moolah.

We saw the oxen (yes, there are 12) and walked through the "instruction rooms". I finally figured out what they mean by that term that I had heard in their advertising and in the video but didn't realize it referred to the rooms where you watch the video about Adam and Eve and go through all the dressing in temple clothes, undressing, redressing, pray at the altar, etc. They didn't mention the temple clothes, the women's veils or the veil of the temple. There was a high gold ruffled curtain on the front wall of the last instruction room which I guess was the veil or the veil was under that.

Only 38 people can go through a session at one time (why not round it up to 40 says my OCD self). The baptismal font is also very small, only meant for one at a time it looks like. This is much different from the large pool at the Seattle temple, which is the only place I've done dead dunks, if I'm remembering it correctly.

We wandered through a sealing room (a lot of white!) and the guide said that after this the couple is "ready for their beautiful day". No mention of temple clothes, W&A, endowments, etc. Lots of chairs for friends and family. No mention that only those deemed "worthy" would be there.

Then we were ushered into the Celestial Room and were told we should stay there a while so we could "feel the Spirit that is here". Despite their best efforts, the Mormon families with all their infants and toddlers lost control of their kids at this point and it was very noisy in there! This degenerate apostate laughed again. First, this was the LONGEST time I had ever been permitted to stay in a CR (over 10 minutes) and the noisiest I had experienced. Finally the guides came and whisked some of the young un's out into the hallway but the Spirit wasn't happy as it didn't show up (unless apostates just can't feel it?)

One woman in the CR was teary-eyed (maybe it was her kids making so much noise?!) The rest were not feeling it and the tear ducts remained off.

I saw one picture of Joseph Smith there - the new and improved version where he looks modern, young and attractive. The other pictures I saw were of Jesus and local nature scenes (actual paintings - I touched them to see if they were prints). There were some I didn't see - we didn't go everywhere and there wasn't much time for hanging about eyeballing every corner.

I must say that even having gone through the temple quite a few times as a member, and quite a few different temples (Seattle, SLC, Jordan River, Alberta/Canada, Arizona) it didn't seem all that familiar to me. Maybe I'm really, really OUT!

After we'd completed the temple tour we were led back to the ward building to the cultural hall/overflow area/gym for water and big cookies. There was a wall display of all the talking points, almost word for word what the tour guide had spieled off. I guess she had just memorized the plaques. I also noted that they used American spelling. Ha. So much for trying to blend in.

In this room were the old familiar pictures of Joseph Smith, with his long nose and chubby cheeks. I would have been a total brat to ask innocently why the discrepancy.

I ducked out to wander the hallways of the most attractive ward building *I* have seen, roomy, modern, new, all mod cons laid on. I peeked into the Volunteer Room and saw in plain view on the board the instructions for the tour guides:

Be Flexible

Be Calm

Smile

Bear Testimony

Actually, we didn't get frank testimony. Lots of smiling but no "I know" stuff. I found the guides friendly and helpful. My mom was with me. She has a bad leg and they started from the time we drove in to run and help her navigate and offer wheelchair, elevator and other assistance. Mom met the missionaries back in the day when I was "investigating" and she really liked them. She was very disappointed to trip over their clay feet when I got involved in helping a sister missionary whose companion was abusive. Between this and other experiences, Mom went from being impressed with these "great young people" to concluding "they're just like everyone else", a bit of a downer for her.

But I digress.

The water was refreshing. The cookies were flavourful. The buildings and grounds were attractive. The people were helpful, friendly, and obviously enjoying their volunteer duty, showing the non-members around their beautiful place. I predict there will be an uptick in tithing and obedience and hence member temple attendance. I'm sure having a temple in their own back yard will motivate the locals. It must be more excitement than they've had since GBH rode into town back in the '90s.

It was interesting to me to go into a Mormon temple again, this time as an observer. I was so happy, though, as I drove off that I hadn't attended for ritual purposes, getting all sweaty from the annoying clothes-changing, left, right, left, right, not to mention the heavy veil covering head and face, during the endowment sessions, and all the up/down, up/down, left/right, shake/sit, file out, etc (oh my aching head). I was feeling clear-headed this time, not full of confusion and questions as on my previous temple trips. That was also a relief.

I spied a lone protester in the parking lot, carrying a cardboard cross with the words "Boast only in the Lord" on it (translation: I think BACs push that scripture as they feel that Mormons boast about their temples, which is obviously "not Christian" in light of the "boast only" scripture, according to the BAC interpretation). Then there was another protester a little further on, holding up a sign that said merely "MRM.com" (I think - I was driving at the time). I haven't had a chance to check that out - I have no clue what it means.

So, I was glad I went. I would have been too curious if I'd missed the chance. I was surprised it was so close (on the same block) as the ward building I used to attend. It's altogether in a different place than I was expecting. Well, I attended that ward building a couple of times as an investigator, with my True Believing Mormon friends. It was the site of my appallingly upsetting Mormon baptism, after which they told me I couldn't go to church there any more as I was in the "wrong" ward. That was the first time I had heard of the ward boundaries rule. It led to me not going to the new ward after I was baptized and the mishies had to come around and do the whole conversion effort again. Yeah. I went for it - twice!

I was also vastly relieved to be driving off still wearing my own little pink panties. That didn't happen the first time I went to a Mormon temple!

Mother-in-law's Spirit in the Los Angeles Temple 04/20/2010 - by Job's Daughter

My sister-in-law married my husband's brother a couple of years before my husband and I got married. We all got married in the LA temple.

She said that the spirit of my husband's dead mother was so strong, everyone could feel her presence there. His mother had died a couple of years earlier while her husband was on his mission and of course he wasn't allowed to come home for the illness or funeral.

When I married my husband I expected to feel something similar, right? Afterall, same temple, a couple of years later, and I'm totally TBM (True Believing Mormon).

However, it was a terrible experience. I hated the temple. The naked washing and anointing, cutting the throat and bowels, and all the masonic symbolism. I had been in Job's Daughters and couldn't understand why so much of the ceremony was the same. (Before internet and Jospeh Smith/Masons link).

This put a big chink in my testimony and within a few years I was out of the LDS Church for good.

The missing point of fellowship 03/02/2010 - by Beavis Christ and others from Recovery from Mormonism

One of the things taken out in the 1990 changes to the temple was the five points of fellowship, one of the clearly copied aspects of the Masonic ceremony.

Does anyone here recall after 1990 ever running into anyone who missed having them after they were taken out?

Seems to me some of the old farts who go to the temple a lot would have complained about it because they were used to it.

I have to wonder that the perpetually changing nature of the ceremonies has caused some Mormons to leave the church just as taking out the nude touching during the "initiatory work" probably has kept some in.

FIVE points of fellowship listed - Baura

From the endowment ceremony here (with numbers added) is the Mormon description:

1. Inside of right foot by the side of right foot,

2. Knee to knee,

3. Breast to breast,

4. Hand to back, and

5. Mouth to ear.

Here is the Masonic meaning of the five points:

1. We are instructed to go by foot to answer the needs of others, but more especially that of a Brother Freemason.

2. We find the power of prayer, especially prayer directed for the benefit of a fallen Brother.

3. We are reminded of the responsibility of trust. Holding in our heart the secrets of our Brother Freemason is a sacred responsibility.

4. We are charged to support the character of our Brother, either before his face or behind his back.

5. We are encouraged to give wise counsel to our Brother Freemason and to support him in his time of need.

"Thus the Five Pointed Star reminds us to extend love and affection to our Brother Freemasons, doing for each of them as we would wish done for each of us. Each point carries an important lesson and responsibility found within the teachings of the Third Degree. Never forget that five-pointed ritual and the bonds that unite us into a sacred band of friend and brothers who strive to emulate the love of the Supreme Grand Architect of the Universe."

those goofy five points of fellowship through the veil - SuzieQ#1

I as a female I didn't miss those goofy five points of fellowship through the veil, when we had to do that contortionist routine with a stranger with a sheet between us. I was glad to see it go!

Yes, some of the execution and dialog of the temple ceremony rituals have changed many times over the years. To the believer, it's just part of "Modern Day Revelation" as a core element of the LDS teachings to the Plan of Salvation.

Much of Mormonism falls in the category of: ours is not to wonder why, ours is to do or die! :-) From "The Charge of the Light Brigade" By Alfred Tennyson

The point is that they follow orders or get killed when they don't.

What happens when they die? - Beavis Christ

What happens to the True Believing Mormons (True Believing Mormons) who were told this was the true way to do things when they got their endowments before 1990?

Does that mean that when they die, they have to do the 5 points but if someone who went through 1st time after 1990 does not?

Yet another area where Mormonism simply makes no sense!

I discovered one of those missing points of fellowship - flattopSF

I learned that there can be some truly soul-searching moments regarding personal motivation while standing at the veil, when a 900-year-old pervert's putrescent claw clutches at your 19-year-old pulchritude and drags you forward into the Sixth Point of Fellowship Grip/Grope.

You KNOW what that Sixth Point is as he slathers and wheezes and exudes breath that would have curdled the blood of the Medusa.

Gah!

Wait a minute - MŒrv FrŒndsen

You mean I was taught the absolutely necessary five points to get through the veil into the glory of the Celestial Kingdom, and then they *went away*???!! Did anyone remember to tell the celestial angels guarding God from the unworthy??

Well what about the other signs and tokens? Will they just go away too?

Next thing you'll be telling me they didn't mean that cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die-before-I-tell throat slitting and disembowling stuff. c No wonder people are posting stuff on the Internet if all the threats of grisly death are gone. What kind of an operation is this?

You got a sixth point of fellowship - NormaRae

Well, if you're trying to get the insides of your foot together while making sure you're feeling each other's knees and you can't figure out what you're doing wrong because you feel something poking your thigh, and then realize it probably WASN'T the Lard's other knee. Well, I guess that makes you x-tra speshul cause you got a sixth point of fellowship.

Last year someone at work asked me about the Big Love episode where Barb is going through the veil. She said it was the most bizarre thing she'd ever seen and wanted me to tell her it was all fictional and we didn't really do that thinking it had something to do with God.

I told her that not only was it absolutely truthful, and not only did I do that, but told her the rest of the story--about the "points." She just looked at me and said, "I think it's a cult." I was like, "Ya think ??"

The "proverbial straw" for me - Travis

After 35 years of being BIC from pioneer stock, attending four years of seminary, serving a forgein mission, & serving in virtually every calling in the ward including the Bishopric...the changing of the temple ceremony was the "proverbial straw" for me.

Everlasting, never-changing gospel like Hell! After suffering through countless hours of discussions with "non-members" about the racist no blacks in the priesthood doctrine on my mission..ol' Spencer changed that too!

I left in 1991...never to go back.

I don't miss grazing at all with the LDS sheep that sleep!

Speaking of actors, I burst out laughing during the temple movie 12/07/2009 by forestpal

When I spotted some of my BYU ski buddies, playing angels, in the background of the Celestial Kingdom shot. They were from California, blonde, blue-eyed, good looking, and tan. As Mormons IRL (one was not), they were not very reverent, and would ski with a flask, and on Sundays, and would often take the Lord's name in vain--but as celestial beings, they had that glow!

Brother Whitaker asked to be in a BYU movie, and I asked how much they would pay me. He said they never pay their actors.

I did get cornered into a BYU promotional movie, with some of the class officers, for a visual to accompany voice-overs. We were all dressed up, after a special luncheon in the student center, and we were directed to smile, and act very friendly to some (nicely-dressed) newcomers. I said, "Wouldn't it be more realistic if Ann and I sneered at the girls and stood between them and our guys?"

Notice, it is the fad now for these people to be "ethnic", in order to give the cult a more world-wide appearance. Did you notice the cast of the televised New Year's Eve youth extravaganza in the great and spacious building in SLC? The entire audience was white and delightsome, and the only dark-skinned kids were the performers. And the one black kid in the audience that the camera kept panning to.

All this hype (strategic emotional advertising that stimulates response) is so over-the-top sappy, that my children would groan out loud. I don't think people fall for this as much as they used to. Remember those old phone company ads, and the Hallmark ads? Very old-fashioned and hackneyed!

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Marijuana Temple Trip 10/26/2009 - by stillgettingbetter

I have a family member who is a temple worker and she has health problems which cause a lot of pain. She has tried lots of medicines without much luck. That particular side of the family is very pro-legalization of drugs, libertarian and almost bordering on anarchist. (yes I know - weird huh?)

Anyway, we were chatting one day about how pot might help her and she said "Yeah it might even make the temple sessions more interesting"

I swear I'm not making this up. lol



Click image for short U-Tube tour of a Mormon Temple under construction.

Waste of orange carpet 10/26/2009 - by Gullible's Travels

The washington DC was my favorite old style temple and Houston was the only McTemple I actually like, though not to set foot in it ever again.

The part that bugs me the most is how many living people could have been fed, clothed, cured, etc. for the cost of just on e those "cadaver clubs" where (by their own theology) those 'serviced' may or may not actually accept the ordinance! What a waste of human energy, orange carpet, movie theatre seating, and white fabric!

Didn't we look pretty in our temple robes? 10/26/2009 - by picture perfect exmo

Last week, we were in a family resort that had a swimming pool. At the reception, you could get a bathrobe to wear on the premises. They were plain white.

One time, the four of us were standing in an elevator, all wearing our ugly, long bathrobes and I happened to look in the mirror. I said to DH: "Look, we're looking every bit as handsome as we used to look in the temple."

He pulled out a green bottle of shampoo, held it in front of his crotch and said: "Now the illusion is complete!"

This is what True Believing Mormon's (True Believing Mormons) think is a super spiritual experience 10/25/2009 - by Gorspel Dacktrin

When I finally concluded that the LDS church was most definitely not a healthy belief system, I stopped going to church meetings and temple sessions, etc. Needless to say, my devout Mormon relatives thought there was something wrong with me that needed to be fixed.

Looking back now I have gained some helpful perspective by realizing that when I left, most of my True Believing Mormon relatives considered the following activity to be the highlight of each month and perhaps even of their entire lifetime, if their hyperbolic effusions concerning their temple experiences are to be believed:

On a monthly or more frequent basis they would slip into some long underwear that their Church sold to them, drive an hour to a building that they called the "temple" (and which reminded the locals of the big building in the Wizard of Oz) and then go into the temple and get dressed up in white polyester jumpsuits. (First they had to show the "temple" receptionist a card that was proof that some guy who called himself a "bishop" (when he was actually a medical supply salesman) was satisfied that they had behaved themselves well enough that they deserved to have access to the temple fun.)

The climax of the event was to then go into a room where, for the several hundredth time, they practiced giving each other odd handshakes, while chanting in unison about what the handshakes were called, after which they then made pantomime throat-slitting and disembowelment motions while chanting in unison that this is how they would be slaughtered if they told anybody else what the names of the handshakes were.

Then they would go up to a big gauzy polyester sheet hanging from the ceiling, stick their hands through holes in the sheet and embrace some mystery guy on the other side. They made a point of also making firm knee-to-knee contact with the mystery guy behind the sheet. They even had a special name for this embrace. They called it the "five points of fellowship."

After this, they would pass through the sheet and the mystery guy to go into a room that looked like a funky hotel lobby, where they would meditate for about 3-5 minutes about what they had just done on the other side of the sheet.

Later, they would tell other people that what they had done in the temple was too special and sacred to talk about.

And my Mormon relatives think I'm the one whose abnormal and nuts because I rejected all that fun.

Women manage to avoid one of the vilest things in all of Mormonism: the urinals in the temples. 03/31/2009 - by Mujun and others

I have traveled to twenty-one countries on four continents. I have used the john in a lot of places where living standards and cultural attitudes about hygiene and cleanliness differ greatly from those of my home.

I have never experienced anything more disgusting in any restroom than the urinals in the Mormon temples.

All the men here who have been to the temple know exactly what I mean. You’re on your way out of the dressing room for yet another hour and forty-five minutes of ritual drudgery. You’re wearing ill-fitting white polyester pants, tight, thin, ribbed white socks and white, terry-cloth slippers. You figure you should take a leak one last time while you still have a chance. You step into the restroom, but you’re still several feet from the urinals when you realize something is very, very wrong. Pee is everywhere. It’s all around the periphery of the urinal. It’s on the walls. It’s in puddles on the floor. What little of it made it into the urinal hasn’t been flushed. You wonder how close you can stand before those terry-cloth slippers start sopping it up.

It’s not just the abundance of urine far beyond its intended receptacle; it’s also the color thereof. Those really old guys who can’t see or aim worth a damn also haven’t peed clear pale yellow in decades. There’s a reason why you notice the pee from several feet away. It’s almost orange.

Nothing makes you feel like you’re in a sacred place quite like having to step around puddles of orange piss.

I no longer have a personal stake in whether Mormon temples have disgusting men’s rooms. If any active, temple-attending Mormons are reading this, however, I suggest that the solution might be found in this nursing home joke I heard about ten years ago.

“Have you heard that nursing homes are using Viagra these days? They give the old guys a half a Viagra tablet in the morning, and a whole Viagra tablet at night. The half tablet in the morning is to keep them from peeing on their shoes. The whole tablet at night is to keep them from rolling out of bed.”

Thus spake Mujun.

Peeing in temple clothes - Kim

I can well imagine that some old geezer might have to go pretty bad after a long temple session. Once in the bathroom, there are so many layers of robes, sashes, apron, pants, garments, etc. to get through, that he may not make it and end up peeing his pants.

Maybe they should install urinals in the Celestial Room...either that or God may find piss on his shoes while he's doing the hokey-pokey with some old guy thru the veil.

Yeah, I've seen gas station restrooms that were cleaner than the ones in temples. - Helamonster

I don't recall ever believing that an Arco station was the House of the Lord, though.

Yeah, Verily The Cabbie Doth Prophesy - SL Cabbie

That when copies of ex-Elder Mujan's accurate reporting filter up through the geriatic cubicles at #50 and #47 East there will be a gnashing of dentures and word will be handed down that such vile scenes described must be rendered white and delightsome once again.

Praise the Lard and pass the Pine-sol.

Urinal Physics - beeblequix

A normal person has the ability to pull up, open, unroll, aim and fire. A significant demographic of Temple attendees aren't exactly "in shape" (I know: round IS a shape but I equivocate...). That extra 200lbs hanging out around the midsection of the average Temple attendee simply changes the probabilities of urine-in-the-urinal success. What was once a stop, drop & go ends up being a convoluted menagerie of guesswork, farting, near misses, complete misses and absolute avoidance of washing their hands. Add cataracts and a male appendage the size of one of those tiny, burned, overcooked french fries into the mix and it just can't end well...

Huge yellow stain - Ilona

The only thing I vividly remember from my temple wedding was the HUGE yellow stain on the guys pants who was performing the sacred temple wedding ceremony. Had a really hard time concentrating on anything else and had to keep averting my eyes to keep from busting out laughing.

That old geezer needed more than training in how to use a urinal...he needed to learn to do his laundry!

Low on hydraulic power - síóg

Just yesterday I was reading an unrelated article that discusses the physics of urinals. Or, perhaps, pissing matches.

Michael Osinski writes in New York Magazine (“My Manhattan Project: How I helped build the bomb that blew up Wall Street,” Mar 29, 2009):

“Now that I was spending more time on the [investment house trading] floor, I wondered why the men’s room always stank. Then one afternoon at three, when I was in there taking a leak, I discovered the hideous truth. Traders had a contest. Coming in at eight, they never left their desks all day, eating and drinking while working. Then, at three o’clock, they marched into the men’s room and stood at the wall opposite the urinals. Dropping their pants, they bet $100 on who could train his stream the longest on the urinals across the lavatory. As their hydraulic pressure waned, the three traders waddled, pants at their ankles, across the floor, desperately trying to keep their pee on target. This is what $2 million of bonus can do to grown men.”

Maybe the temple goers are just low on hydraulic power.

"Big Love" temple episode PROVES the Book of Mormon! - 03/10/2009 - by Richard Packham

The showing of secret temple ceremonies and secret clothing is a fulfillment of the Book of Mormon prophecy at 2 Nephi 30:17, which says that in the last days "there is nothing which is secret save it shall be revealed..." (See also Luke 12:2.)

Mormons should be thrilled at this confirmation of their sacred scriptures. And Jesus must be packing his bags right now for the return trip to earth!

C'mon...The Mormons are just embarassed... - 03/10/2009 - by gemini

at the silly costumes and handshakes that will be shown on HBO.

No matter how much the True Believing Mormon's (True Believing Mormons) talk about "sacred rituals" they secretly know how stupid it is going to look to their co-workers and neighbors.

Take away the secrecy of it all and the temples will lose their mystery.

I was embarrassed on my wedding day... by westcoaster

wearing that hideous outfit while those we invited to the temple were in street clothes. It just emphasized how awful that costume covering my beautiful wedding dress was.

The worst part was trying to stifle a giggle every time I looked at my very good-looking almost-husband in that Pillsbury Doughboy hat.

I had laughed aloud the first time I saw him in it a week before when I did the endowment gig. I felt bad for laughing at how he looked but it so startled me that the laugh escaped before I could stop it. He said he had laughed the first time he saw his dad in temple garb, so I was off the hook.

The piece de resistance was the very deep, red mark the baker's hat left on his forehead that is forever preserved in our wedding pictures taken after the ceremony. The good news is I don't ever look at those pictures since I divorced him.

The point of this story is that I have no doubt the endowed will be embarrassed by the outing of the outfit because I was mortified to be seen in it even when it was by people who had been dressed more than once in the very same outfit.

I'm not sure how it is now or if every experience is different depending on the old temple-helper-broad (referred to as OTHB for the rest of this post) "assisting" the bride, but this was my experience.

I chose to wear my wedding dress, but I'm told some women just wear the shapeless white "dress" that all women wear for endowment sessions.

Next, the OTHB assessed the modesty of my dress. It was a very modest cut, although extremely form-fitting. It was long-sleeved and no plunging neckline, but it did have a v-shaped plunge in the back that covered the garment top and was NOT immodest by anyone's standards but the OTHB.

She hauled out white cloth squares (picture hankies, but not that nice) of various sizes and proceeded to shove one down the back of my dress and then pinned it to the my shoulders to ensure the naughty, naughty patch of skin on my back was covered. She had razor sharp fingernails and left a scrape mark on my back that was still showing hours later.

My dress was long-sleeved, but the OTHB decided as a precaution that she needed to stuff a smaller white square up each sleeve. I guess she was worried the sleeves of my dress might fall off or the men in the room would be so tantalized by my wrists that they would be having dirty thoughts during that thing they call a ceremony.

My mom was not allowed in the room with me because it was the OTHB's job to assist me. What should have been a peaceful, happy time for me was filled with the OTHB disgustedly ranting about how immodest other brides' dresses were and how it was usually so much more work for HER to "make them modest" with the cloth squares. She added a tsk-tsk about the back of my dress.

Next was the pleated robe that kept slipping on the satin part of my dress and snagging on the beaded part. All the slipping meant the bow on the robe kept loosening. If a bride had a poofy dress, the robe would have made her look like a marshmallow. My dress had a straight skirt, so it still looked ugly, but it didn't make me look huge.

Next was the green (not blue) fig-leaf apron that added more slipping. Under all of this were the garments and white hosiery and the fugly white slippers.

I was not allowed to wear the veil that went with my wedding dress but had to wear the temple veil with the big loopy bow tied under the chin that is beyond ugly.

My wedding dress couldn't even be seen under all the layers, but it was my wedding day and I was damn well going to wear my wedding dress. That was another reason I thought the cloth squares were absurd. No one could have seen any skin that might be showing, but it's the Morg way to focus on things that don't matter.

To get an idea of the finished result, just look at the image above from "Big Love" in the temple garb. Just picture the apron being bright green.

The men wear the same thing they wear for the endowment ceremony. White shirt and white tie. White pants and if they wear a belt, it must be white. White socks and white slippers. They also wear a white robe (I think theirs is also pleated, but I don't have a clear memory of it). They also wear the bright green apron. The ugliest part of the men's temple outfit is that gawdawful baker's hat. If I left something out or remembered incorrectly, I'm sure someone will correct me.

BTW, because of the edict that no one is allowed to speak of the temple outside the temple, I has not been warned that I would be wearing that temple get-up OVER my dress or that my husband-to-be would be wearing the same outfit that had made me laugh aloud the week before.

Edit for clarification: I only found out when I removed my wedding dress from the bag and the OTHB tried to persuade me to wear a rented, white, polyester dress. Color me clueless.

I kept wondering when the beautiful, special part of the temple wedding that all Mormon girls are promised was going to start. I walked out of the temple with my new husband thinking, "THAT was it?" I vacillated between feeling duped and wondering if it didn't feel special because I was somehow unworthy.

I was so embarrassed by JennyAus

when we came outside after the wedding and my SIL asked my hubby, "Were you wearing a hat?" the mark was still on his forehead.

I hated the temple clothing. I was so embarrassed wearing garments at work when I first got married. I wore short sleeved cardigans over my uniform so that no one would even see the outline on my back. When I went to visit non mormon friends I never wore them. I didn't want them to see the markings on my legs.

What about the big huge temple dress that made you look like you were pregnant. Makes me shudder.

Embarrassed, and horrified. The Mormon church OWES us a decent wedding! - by Cali in Utah

I've told non-Mormons about the temple, and they haven't believed me, until they saw for themselves on the Internet.

Even reading other posters' experiences in the temple--I know they're telling the truth--but it is more bizarre than anyone can even imagine.

"She had razor sharp fingernails and left a scrape mark on my back that was still showing hours later."

And a scar your entire life.

I hope every temple couple renews their vows, in a lovely, meaningful FAMILY ceremony, out in nature somewhere. That might help undo the damage.

Everything I know about Mormon temples - by 3X

(except the unappealing architecture) has been learned at Recovery from Mormonism or on Richard Packham's site.

Every time I see a picture of folks dressed up in The Garb, I'm taken aback - and I wonder at the mechanisms that can convince a person that the silly is sacred, the ridiculous is holy, and that their "Creator" is somehow 'honored' by nonsense.

Jeanne Tripplehorn in the TV Guide photo looks like she just walked off of a Star Wars set.

The OP is dead on: it's fear of embarrassment that underlies the Mormon reaction to the Big Love temple episode - hell, I'm embarrassed for them.

Los Angeles Temple and the Jewish Deli by crathes

1. I remember close to the Los Angeles temple was a Jewish Deli. I was there one evening after work (not after the temple) when one of the old waitresses yelled, "Session's out - here they come!" I did not immediately catch what she was saying, but then men in cheap suits and women in ugly dresses started walking in. And, yes, the men still had the ugly red mark across the forehead. Was this the mark of the beast??

2. When I got married, my wife bought a cheap, plain dress for the temple (a regular temple dress), and then a nice wedding dress for photos and the reception. Short sleeves, lower neck and back line, but still reasonably garment friendly. Problem solved!

I am such an idiot! - by rk

I was such a weirdo-I was actually excited and mostly enjoyed the temple at first. I thought I was special. YUCK YUCK YUCK! I'm now disgusted by it and by myself for ever believing and belonging. Horrible.

Dancing in the Temple - From An Intimate Chronicle: The Journals of William Clayton - 04/09/2009 - by ken

Pages 248-249 (re: dancing and partying in the temple after an endowment ceremony and temple wedding)

After the dancing, the following was put forward by President BY who invited "all those who were willing to covenant that they would keep themselves from mingling with the wicked to rise upon their feet, whereupon all rose up. . . . .

"At about half past 2 o clock that it was time to quit and seek repose the whole company assented without a murmur, although many would have been glad to have continued the exercise longer.

"The sisters retired to the side rooms, and the brethren stretched themselves on the floor, or on the sofas and were all soon in the embraces of 'tired nature's sweet restorer, balmy sleep,' with the exception of the Bridegroom and Bride, and a few of their friends who, being unable to close their eyes in sleep, from the abundance of their joy, passed the short hours of the morning, in agreeable conversation in the office. . . "

Washing and Anointing Ceremony in the Mormon Temple as I experienced it - 03/09/2009 - by anon

The following is how the Washing and Anointing Ceremony was carried out during the times I attended the temple from 1962 to 1990 when it was changed. I have written extensively about these rituals prior to the change, (as have many others) and am happy to know that our fellow Mormon human beings will no longer be subjected to this ritual.

Now, I am told, as of about a year or so ago, the tunic is sewed up at the sides, and the naked body is no longer touched and anointed with water and oil. Hopefully, we all had a hand in seeing this ritual discontinued in our efforts to "give back" to humanity, especially our Mormon friends and loved ones.

These are some of my memories of the Washing and Anointing Ceremony in the Temple. (All of these rituals are easily accessed on the Internet, also) I have attended nine temples from 1962 to 1995, eight of them in the US and one in Switzerland, doing hundreds of "sessions" as they are called.

You enter a small stall, and sit on a cold marble type slab. The female temple worker doing the washing and anointing stands behind and to the side of you and starts with the top of the head, the forehead, the eyes, nose, mouth, breast, bowels, legs..etc. She has a little spigot she gets water from that drips slowly.

The oil is done in the same fashion. There are promises given, with each part of the body that is washed-dabbed with water and anointed-dabbed with oil. These have to do with promising the female that she will be a priestess to her husband in the Celestial Kingdom if she is faithful to her covenants. Nothing untoward, or of a sexual nature is done, but it is just very, very ethically and culturally out of order. How anyone can equate that to something spiritual still amazes me.

I can still see the rows of tiny, narrow lockers where we completely undressed and donned the sheet-tunic, carrying our long garments into the little cubical where the old lady awaited me. One of the oddest things about the temple is that the lockers have keys, so in the whispered ambiance of the temple, one of the only sounds heard is the soft jingling of the keys attacked with a safety pin to your clothing..

Now back to the tunic. This is a true tunic - open at the sides and no seams. To walk in and out of the washing and anointing room, most people hold the sheets together. I can still see, hear and feel and smell those old women.

The were like a grandma dressed in a white uniform, false teeth clacking, chewing a breath mint. I could feel her breath and smell the aroma of the mints as she whispered in my ear reaching under the sheet with those warm, sweaty, damp hands sliding over here and over there, anointing me first with dabs of water from head to toe, then going the same thing with oil.

I can still hear the water trickling from the tiny spigot that she put her hands into to begin the anointing. I can still hear the sing-song monotone of her memorized washing and anointing dialogue.

This ritual is not just a tiny tap on an imaginary dot of the skin. Your body is stroked in a 2" to 3" area in a downward motion over specific areas of your body from your head on down to your legs and onto to your toes. You do not know exactly where they will touch you. You only know the general area. It is very uncomfortable as these women are usually older-retirement age of 65 to 75 and their head is outside the sheet. They cannot see where they hands are unless they look under the tunic where the sides are open. They open the sheet on the sides to begin.

Imagine a woman's hand under the sheet (for women-man for men) each time they say a body part, makin