Because it’s 2017 and these happen with disappointing regularity, and since the phrase “leaked nudes” will get you hits (yes, yes... guilty as charged, pot meet kettle, etc... although I’m pretty proud of how Cageside handles these things and am happy to discuss our approach with anyone who thinks we exploit those situations or the people victimized by them. But I digress...) a story has been making the rounds of a new batch of WWE Superstars having their private photos and videos stolen and placed online without their consent.

One of the people whose photos were allegedly being shared was Kevin Owens. A notion the former Universal champ found as preposterous as many of you probably do. So he jumped on Twitter to shut the story down, in his own inimitable way...

Just landed in Birmingham and saw these ridiculous claims. How laughable! There's some incredibly pathetic people out there. Get a life! — Kevin Owens (@FightOwensFight) July 18, 2017

If you think that's actually me, you're as dumb as the morons who started this stupidity. — Kevin Owens (@FightOwensFight) July 18, 2017

Although I have to admit that I'm now considering getting a nipple piercing. — Kevin Owens (@FightOwensFight) July 18, 2017

My wife said no nipple piercing :( — Kevin Owens (@FightOwensFight) July 18, 2017

And because no wrestling-related or adjacent Twitter gag can exist these days without some involvement by one of the Jackson brothers (I’ll have to check with our social media expert Caitlyn, but I’m pretty sure it’s a law), Matt chimed in to encourage his bud:

Well now I regret this new nipple piercing I just got. — The Young Bucks (@MattJackson13) July 18, 2017

But not even The Young Bucks are immune to disappointing KO online:

You were supposed to wait until we could get it at the same time. https://t.co/KjWnfnha9n — Kevin Owens (@FightOwensFight) July 18, 2017

Pierce Owens Pierce.