At 13:04, a few minutes after the termination of her lunch break, in local Ohio mall, Tania Clayton confessed to her sinful secret- her alleged aversion to one of the most cherished religious holidays mankind has cultivated and maintained throughout the centuries.

The outrageous remark is rumored by colleagues Cattey with a C and double T, to be a blatant lie, constructed by Tania in an attempt to diverge from the ordinary, a social mutant of sorts that forms a special category of females all on its own.

It is speculated that the deeper reason behind this need to diverge, stems from Tania’s innermost qualities such as her sense of self-worth and sexual marketplace significance coming to question after a moment of clarity, that she’s not too different to her peers. The unfortunate incident caused significant damage to the subject’s relative importance within the circle of people she held dear, namely herself.

Tania is so funny, beautiful and sexy, I wish she would answer my friend request

-Tania’s uncle

Yea, well, leave it up to Tania to act like a class 1 attention w***e

-Best friend that wishes to remain anonymous

I have a few cats in the area that I feed. I don’t have much money so usually, I will gather up any leftovers that I find in the garbage bins in a little baggy that I carry with me and feed it to them at the end of the day. My life isn’t all that pleasurable but doing this every day helps me feel more human, and reminds me to be happy and humble

-Mall janitor

This seemingly isolated event turned out not to be an isolated event at all, as additional confessions of aversion towards the celebration that forms the pinnacle of purity arose since. These modern succubae mutants share a list of traits, such as an affinity for nude shade lipstick and never buying their own cigarettes.

Experts in epidemiology are cautiously making mentions of a potential virus outbreak in the general area of the US, specifically in the few states where nothing interesting really ever happens. Preventive measures are being developed as more research is directed towards this class of pestilence

The mutation seems to be taking various forms as it evolves into a pandemic, with few of its forms including:

Teens with body image issues that “hate the summer months”

Art students claiming all religious holidays are inherently racist, even though race should obviously not the focal point in this argument, you illiterate bastards

My mom not approving of my crop tops

Science has always been a saving grace in times of despair, and for one more time, we rely on R&D to rid ourselves of the horrifying impact this anomaly might cause.