Whenever I read an article or online comment saying there’s never been a good video game movie, I get just a bit annoyed. I get downright vexed if those articles or comments specifically call out the Mortal Kombat movies for being bad because, dammit, the Mortal Kombat movies are great. Well, at least the first one is. Yes, they’re ridiculous and immature, but then the games they’re based on are also ridiculous and immature.

The Mortal Kombat movies are the most respectful, accurate video game-to-movie adaptations ever made. Yeah, that’s kind of a sad statement, but, on the other hand, it’s not, because Mortal Kombat is awesome in any form. So, in honor of the recent passage of the Mortal Kombat movie’s 20th anniversary, it’s time to cue up the most ear-slayingly awesome movie theme song of the ’90s…

… and strap yourself in for a totally sincere, non-ironic rating of every fight scene in Mortal Kombat and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.

17) Raiden vs. Shao Kahn (Mortal Kombat: Annihilation)

This is Raiden’s only real one-on-one fight in either movie, and it suuuucks. First off, this isn’t Christopher Lambert Raiden, it’s the infinitely lamer James Remar version. Second, the big bad Shao Kahn gets his ass handed to him within seconds. Finally, and most egregiously, after getting punked out, Kahn manages to kill Johnny Cage out of nowhere. Johnny Cage was the star of the first movie, man. That is not cool, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, even by your standards.

16) Kitana vs. Sindel (Mortal Kombat: Annihilation)

Annihilation featured a lot actors who had no particular action movie or fighting experience. The way they covered for this, particularly in fights featuring women, was to just have them spin around a lot in hopes nobody would notice they weren’t actually doing anything. That’s all this fight is. Kitana and Sindel twirl (rather slowly) in each other’s general direction, then Kitana arbitrarily wins.

15) Sonya Blade vs. Ermac (Mortal Kombat: Annihilation)

In Annihilation’s final action scene, everybody takes on their nemesis, or logical opponent. Liu Kang faces Shao Kahn, Kitana faces Sindel, Jax tackles Motaro, and Sonya, well, Sonya doesn’t really have a nemesis. In her own words, she has to take on the “leftovers,” so she fights Ermac (the eminently forgettable red Scorpion clone). The fight is about as nondescript as you’d expect.

14) Sonya Blade vs. Mileena (Mortal Kombat: Annihilation)

This is really the only woman vs. woman fight of any significant length in either Mortal Kombat movie, so of course it takes place in a mud pit. And Sonya is wearing a white tank top. Tsk tsk, Mortal Kombat. That said, it does end with Sonya slapping Mileena in an armbar then kicking her in the face until she’s unconscious, so there’s a bit of badassery mixed in with the shameless titillation.

13) Sub-Zero vs. Scorpion (Mortal Kombat: Annihilation)

Sub-Zero vs. Scorpion! One of Mortal Kombat‘s most iconic rivalries! This ought to be good! Well, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation has a way of tearing the spine out of things that ought to be good. Most of the fight takes place on an ice bridge that looks like something a middle schooler might build out of paper mâché for a science fair project. Also, the dude playing Sub-Zero this time around is super sh*tty, and the fight doesn’t really have an end. Scorpion just kidnaps Kitana (half the fights in Annihilation end in a woman being kidnapped or held hostage) and disappears into a portal made of pink wrapping paper.

12) Liu Kang vs. Smoke (Mortal Kombat: Annihilation)

Okay, this is the point in our list where the fights actually start to get good. Yes, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation had some good fights. This is just a solid, basic throwdown. Also, Smoke shoots missiles out of his chest and blows up at the end of the fight, so this one checks all the important boxes.

11) Sonya Blade and Jax vs. Cyrax (Mortal Kombat: Annihilation)

Just in terms of effects and direction, this is probably the best fight in Annihilation. Cyrax has these neat little homing mines he shoots out of his chest, and the weird operating gallery this scene takes place in is a good setting to stage a fight. Unfortunately, Jax and the Annihilation version of Sonya are pretty lousy fighters, so that brings the scene down a bit.

10) Liu Kang vs. Baraka (Mortal Kombat: Annihilation)

Okay, I’m largely ranking this fight this high because I’m a Baraka fan. He was my dude in Mortal Kombat II. This scene was also relatively creative. Baraka swinging around on chains Batman-style and him and Liu Kang fighting on top of Kitana’s hanging prison are two of the more unique moments in Annihilation.