Chapter Three

Fun story, I almost got murdered today. Let me rewind a bit. Momma if you ever read this, don’t be mad, I obviously survived and yada yada yada. Calm down. So I went to drop off the Mist’s food through the slot, but when I got there he was straight up passed out. I knocked on the glass and he didn’t respond. “Kyle… KYLE NIMBUS,” I yelled. He wasn’t breathing. Nothing. The next part is the dumb part. Some real Harry Potter chasing Voldemort without Ron and Hermione kind of stupid. You know what, Nimbus kind of resembles Voldemort….

Anyways, I went in with my gas mask secured hella tight and when I leaned over to check his pulse his eyes opened wide. I swear he smiled as he morphed into a green haze then wrapped himself around my neck like a snake! I couldn’t tear him off and then he became a man again. A crazy, trained assassin man who once worked for the most dangerous mob in Central City, mind you. He said he’d prefer to feel my neck in his hands and I, obviously, very much so preferred the opposite. It was all a blur of me punching and him absorbing the blows until he was “done playing with me.” Um, who’s playing, bro? I’m karate-ing the crap outta you. Then he got my mask off, I was so screwed. Okay, so then I’m squirming on the floor, breathing in well, mist, definitely asphyxiating. My gas mask is chilling in the corner just looking right at me. Also, I’m pretty sure I tasted him… so gross. Yes, I am eating toothpaste by the tube now. The taste of evil is no cherry slushy.

So there I am, smothered in his toxic fumes when Caitlin shows up rocking her own gas mask and a handheld vacuum. Like… a car vacuum. It was so jank but brilliant. Only Caitlin. She put that baby on full blast then cleaned that scumbag right up. Then she yelled at me with the fury of a thousand angry mothers. I was still trying to get my breath back (and check to make sure I didn’t need a new pair of underoos.) But I did manage a thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.

You know, I was thinking, this was all supposed to be temporary. Wells said we would try to rehabilitate these people, find another solution. I never thought I would actually have to be a prison guard to the city’s most powerful and deadliest. Prisons, irl, are lame. None of us can be reduced to our worst decisions, our gravest mistakes. Even as the Mist was trying to kill me, I kind of saw his point. Locking people up is only going to make them angrier. And what if that person is innocent (see Barry’s dad) or really really cute (see Peek-a-boo.) Why did we even build this damn prison in the first place? Whatever, I probably lost too many brain cells today.

I didn’t lose too many it seems! Caitlin gave me a great idea for a new toy. Think vacuum. Okay, now imagine a giant, man-sized vacuum built with the power of an F4 tornado – you aim at a bad guy and WHOOMPF - he’s literally sucked through a hose and into a dust bag. Writing that made it seem… a bit dumb. I guess I did lose too many brain cells. Okay, nap time.

Cisco. Peace! (And slushies.)