Anyway, as we've pointed out before , animals are one of those subjects particularly vulnerable to laughable misconceptions. Which is why even today you can hear somebody say ...

Somewhere, right now, an adult is quoting an interesting animal "fact" that he actually learned from an old cartoon. Or from some other equally unreliable source. This is why sayings like "blind as a bat" persist even though bats can in fact see (tip: try substituting the more accurate phrase, "Blind as a man with two assholes in his face instead of eyes").

5 Mother Birds Abandon Their Chicks if You Touch Them

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You're a little kid, and you have discovered a newly hatched chick for the first time. Maybe it fell out of the nest! You go to poke it, when your mom runs up and gives you the "Don't touch it or the mother bird will abandon it!" speech. Something to do with the bird having the smell of a human on it. And from that point forward, you know that loving something means letting it remain free ... from your repugnant stink, which is capable of ruining a life form for entire its species.

On one hand, the warning is well advised. Trying to help a baby bird by feeding it, cleaning it or housing it will usually kill it. There is a specific set of instructions for how to care for an abandoned bird, though usually the bird isn't even abandoned. Usually, kids are just stumbling upon the bird when its mother is away doing something else.

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"I just want some goddamned time to my goddamned self."

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It's a big enough problem that it's actually against the law to try and raise a native species of baby bird yourself; it's punishable by up to six months in jail and a fine up to 15 grand. Damn, having to admit that to your fellow inmates would actually be worse than the sentence itself.