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When you read in various “how to” blowjob guides around the internet, you will commonly hear “Deep-throating isn’t necessary to give your man a great blowjob” which is absolutely true. In my guide you’ll learn spectacular tricks and techniques that don’t involve deepthroating. However, in order to really be the best that you can be, to take your man to the heights of pleasure, and to insure that you are the best he’s ever had, learning it is essential for your repertoire of oral sex skills. Believe me, you don’t want your boyfriend or husband always thinking about that girl, two ex’s back, who could deep throat him while you can’t. So in order to master this, you will need to learn to control and minimize your gag reflex.

First, you must know that like everything else, there’s a huge variety of gag reflex strengths among women. Some will find that learning to control it is really easy, and others, will practice for months and still have a hard time brushing their teeth (as an example, read this forum-post plea for help from Amanda: “Help! How do I suppress my gag reflex“? To which she gets very few useful replies.

Controlling your gag reflex isn’t just about deep throating. When a man comes in your mouth, he can often lose control and push in farther than he means to, easily gagging you at the very worst possible time. This, coupled with his semen shooting into the back of your throat has caused many women to gag or even throw up. In fact, almost any woman can tell you a story like this from her past when she almost threw up or did, embarrassing herself and her lover and totally ruining the moment. Learning to master your throat will help to prevent this type of accident so both you and your man can be more relaxed and enjoy more sexual possibilities.

So, I’m going to try to explain in great detail exactly step-by-step how you can learn to suppress your gag reflex in order to be better at fellatio.

Step 1: Understanding Throat Anatomy

Most of the time when you’re giving a blowjob, your mouth and throat are at 90 degree angles from each other, so naturally if his cock goes too far into your mouth, it’s going to bump into the back of your throat, where your gag reflex is very strong. If you’ve watched porn movies, you’ve probably seen women who seem to magically be able to make a large cock bend down into their throats at this angle. Others, when taking in a large one, will find it banging against them in a manner that appears like it would be very painful and make most people puke.

In my article on deep throating, I’ll go into more detail about how to do this right, but for now, it’s important that you understand that the gag reflex can be triggered by almost ANY point in the back of your throat, or at the back of your tongue. Many experts will wrongly tell you that gagging is only caused by a point in the back of your throat, and that you can simply lay on your back with your head hanging over the edge of a bed or sofa, in order to “easily” deep throat. While it’s true that this position IS quite a bit easier because it lines up your mouth cavity with your throat for easy deep penetration, it certainly doesn’t guarantee that you won’t gag.

Part 2: Simple Tricks to Suppress the Gag Reflex

Swallowing: Your throat has a natural mechanism to help you from choking. When it feels a foreign object pressing in the wrong places, your muscles will compress in order to expel whatever’s in there back out. So you may wonder then, HOW is it that you don’t choke when swallowing your food? After all, you can swallow a pretty big bite without activating the gag reflex. The secret is here is that your gag reflex is automatically suppressed while you’re swallowing! Holding Your Thumb: Although it doesn’t work for me, apparently many people who test this find that if you tightly squeeze your left thumb in your left hand, it will greatly diminish or even eliminate your gag reflex. Hard to believe, but many swear that it works for them, so it’s worth a try.

Part 3: Buy a Jelly Vibrator for Practice

What this means then is that you must learn to swallow WHILE a cock is in your mouth/throat. For most of us, this isn’t so easy and it feels very unnatural and can even be painful at first. The best way to practice this (and to learn deep throating in general) is to use a jelly vibrator or dildo such as this from Amazon:

6.5″ Jelly Vibrator:

Just slightly larger than the average penis size (5.5 – 6 inches), this 6.5″ vibrator is somewhat flexible like a real penis.

Some women will find that they don’t like the taste of the vibrator much and it can be a turn-off, so I recommend also adding a flavorful lubricant that you enjoy, which will mask that rubbery taste and provide extra lubrication at the same time for when you’re ready to start actually penetrating your throat with it.

Part 4: Throat Numbing Aids

Deep throating has become so popular, and desired by men, that many companies have started selling various products that will numb your throat, tongue, and mouth, helping you with deep throating. They’re also excellent for practicing, so you can artificially suppress your gag reflex a bit while you get used to the feeling of foreign objects being there.

Most of these products use a pain-killing and numbing agent called benzocaine, which has been around for over 100 years and is generally known to be very safe. It’s the active ingredient in cough syrups, cough drops, etc and is also excellent for toothache.

Much more detail about these products can be found here: Products to help control your gag reflex but here’s a basic description:

Throat Spray: These products aren’t perfect… they won’t remove your urge to gag completely, which is ideal because you want to have SOME feeling of gagging in order to learn to control it. Throat sprays are best for practice, because you can spray multiple times. At first, you can do more applications of the spray to achieve more numbing effect, and later as you get better, only one spray. When using the throat spray, make sure the spray is atomizing well and not going in a stream but doing a practice squirt. Often, the first try will result in a stream. Then, extend your tongue and try to get the spray into the back of your throat and tongue. Don’t swirl it around your mouth, or everything will get numb. Leave it there for 30 seconds or so and then swallow. Rinse with water and repeat up to three times. Numbing Mints: Several companies offer mints/candies that numb your throat. They’re basically just cough drops with sexier packaging and a much higher price, containing the same benzocaine as the main active ingredient.

Of course you can practice without these aids, but I assure you they’ll make it a lot easier at first, especially for those of you who have a very strong gag reflex.

Part 5: Explore and Desensitize Your Gag Reflex

Lay flat on the bed so you’re in the most comfortable possible position for you, with your eyes closed, and with soothing music to help you relax as much as possible.

You can start by just using your finger, or a toothbrush or something, but I highly recommend getting a jelly vibrator (or dildo) to use, because the sooner you get used to having a large object the size and shape of a penis in your mouth, the better. You will be simultaneously strengthening your jaw, tongue, learning to swallow, and working on your gag control.

Now this is the part that’s never mentioned in other guides about how to learn to deep throat. WHAT EXACTLY are you now supposed to do and what should you expect?

GET COMFORTABLE. You can first just get comfortable with the vibrator in your mouth (turned off of course) and practice swallowing with it there. Then, as you push it back very slowly, you will start to notice a point where you’ll begin to feel like you’re about to gag. DON’T GAG! Be very careful that you don’t go so far that you actually gag. Stay on the edge of that sensation, and pull back immediately when you feel you’re about to choke. This is absolutely essential for those of you who have a strong gag reflex! If you keep gagging yourself during practice, you may actually become MORE sensitive to gagging and more easily start to react to the vibrator in your mouth and throat as you subconsciously anticipate the gag coming! That’s not going to help you so don’t get to that point. ALTERNATE SUGGESTION Some will find that your actual gagging isn’t very strong, while others will nearly vomit from the slightest touch. If you discover that your actual gag reaction isn’t very strong, then you may be able to take a different route, and this will happen more quickly. What you do is that at the point you start to gag, you let yourself gag and just hold it there, swallowing repeatedly until the gagging stops. This can habituate your throat to an object much more quickly, but few people can learn control this way. BUILD AWARENESS of your gag reflex. When does it start? How does it feel? This reflex is a deep instinct that you need to be able to control with both your conscious and subconscious minds, and to do that you must HABITUATE yourself to the feeling that you’re about to gag, but not actually do it. YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES! You will probably gag! That’s okay… don’t beat yourself up over it. Just relax a bit. Massage your jaw and any muscles that tensed when you gagged, such as in your throat, neck or stomach. Don’t try to right back to this immediately because you’ll be extra sensitive. With time you’ll discover how long it takes for you to relax again. PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. With time and many sessions, your body and mind will become acclimated to having an unnatural object touching your gag nerves, and your urge to choke will diminish. Week by week, you’ll gain inches of depth, and be able to sustain an object in your throat which is wider, rougher, and moving in and out.

At first you’ll be able to do this simply lying flat on the bed, but you’ll reach a point whereby in order to get more depth, you’ll need to tilt your head back in order to get your oral cavity and throat to line up, because when you’re lying down, they’re actually at 90 degree angles to each other, and only a very flexible object is going to bend enough to go down your throat.

When I first practiced this, I originally started on my back, but moved to kneeling, with my knees wide apart, which was the position that my boyfriend at the time seemed to like seeing me in most, so I thought I could just get used to deep throating in that position, as well as strengthening my knees and ankles to the pressure of this position. Eventually I didn’t need a pillow or blanked anymore and could easily kneel and finish him without any discomfort in my body, so I could fully focus on pleasuring him.

You will probably find that some days you’ll be much better than others. You’ll surprise yourself with how far you can go, and then the next day you’ll regress. Don’t worry, this is very normal. Like with studying meditation or other mind control abilities, your daily ability to do this will have a lot to do with how relaxed you are. Don’t get annoyed at yourself, just focus on relaxing and accept what happens each day. This game takes time and over time you WILL improve if you follow these steps, until finally you can deep throat like a pro or join the circus to become a sword-swallower!

Part 6: Give Yourself Pleasure With Your Other Hand

You’re probably wondering WHY would you want to do something so distracting while you’re trying to learn this? There are so many reasons for this that you probably wouldn’t think of such as:

Relaxation: Learning to suppress your urge to gag is about learning to relax, and pleasure should be very relaxing to your body and throat. Altered State: When you’re in a state of heightened sexuality, not only are you more relaxed but your body can do things that it might not normally be able to. You can much more easily deep throat, your ability to withstand discomfort or pain will be better Association: By stimulating yourself sexually while stimulating your mouth and throat, you will be training your brain to enjoy the act of giving a blowjob, and deep-throating, much more. Fun: If you’re going to practice this, why not enjoy it while you’re doing it?

Part 7: consider Bringing In Your Partner To Help

Many women will find this entire process slightly embarrassing and prefer the idea of practicing in private. But if you have a boyfriend/husband already, then you could probably imagine that the sight of you sucking on a vibrator and pleasuring yourself is going to be incredibly erotic to him, and if you’re up for it, you can bring him to help you. You may like the idea of surprising him with your new deep throat skills after you’ve fully mastered them, but you will find it easier and quicker to learn to control your gag reflex if you have his participation. I’m sure he’ll be happy to volunteer!

Why do this (besides making him happy with very erotic episodes)? Because his highly aroused state will release pheromones that should greatly heighten YOUR mental state as well, thereby allowing you to achieve much more as far as being able to control your gagging. A heightened sexual state is a type of “trance” that can allow you to do things that you normally can’t, such as how native people in some countries use the trance state to walk on fire, pierce themselves with knives or stick, or allow themselves to be bitten by painful ants in manhood rituals.

I recommend talking to him ahead of time to explain what you’re doing, and why, so he understands that he can help you. He will probably LOVE that you’re taking the time and effort to learn this for him. But, he may become so aroused watching you do this that he can’t really control himself and will start trying to get you to make love with him. So, you have to set some rules. Here are some suggestions:

No talking. Don’t let him distract you from focusing on bringing your awareness to your gag reflex Ask him to start by just running his hands over your body, massaging your muscles in a very light manner that helps you to achieve a state of deep arousal and relaxation. Then, he can rub his penis on your body and face while masturbating. Eventually he will orgasm and you can ask him to cum on your lips and the vibrator (extra lubricant will help you and his cum in your mouth will very likely turn you on even more). If you haven’t learned to enjoy his semen yet, then perhaps your breasts and throat would be a better option. Just be sure to tell him in advance so he knows what to do. When he orgasms, you may find that you’ll be able to penetrate your mouth and throat more deeply with the vibrator, since a woman’s body naturally reacts by “opening up” to a man during this time. You will probably be able to sense whether you’re going to be able to do this. Don’t push too much too hard. Better to make small forward gains week by week until you’ve achieved the abilities you want.

There’s a good chance that either he or you will be unable to control yourselves during this time and will end up having sex… well if that happens, no harm done. You may also find that his presence is just too distracting to you and you can’t relax, or you find yourself worrying about gagging in front of him, or any other number of other concerns. So, next time you can practice alone. You can still achieve the same goals but it may take a bit longer.

Part 8: Achieving Your Goal

Within 2-6 weeks, practicing most of the days of the week, most women will find they’re able to deep-throat the 6.5″ vibrator (and thus most average sized penises too). To go deeper than that requires another set of hurdles, which will be covered in my article about how to learn deep-throating.

This article is about controlling your gag reflex, so I won’t go into all the details about deep throating here, even though the two skills are so inextricably linked. Suffice to say that once you master your urge to choke, you’ll be able to deep throat, and you’ll enjoy giving a blowjob much more. It will also make it easier for him to cum in your mouth or throat without risk that you’re going to throw up. Only a small percentage of women truly master this art, so if your goal is to be the best your man has ever had in bed (and it really should be if you want a long-term relationship) then learning these tricks are some of the best ways to really rock his world.

Other Resources about Gag Reflex Control