Other ways to express your feelings in safe and appropriate ways: crying, giving sounds to your feelings, any physical release, drawing, journaling, music, a silent scream (One shelter wants to install a soundproof room and a punching bag.)

There is nothing like professional peers who, often unlike family and friends, will know immediately what you are talking about, will understand without your explaining, and will not judge you. This simple sharing, this simple taking of responsibility for your feelings, will do wonders to eliminate sniping, gossiping, polarization, triangulation, and negativity.

Deep Breath: Inhale, filling belly, letting shoulders down. Exhale slowly. Slump body on exhale. Repeat. Now as you inhale and fill belly, feel your sitz bones. Let your belly and the floor of pelvis soften and expand as you inhale. This breath can be an anchor. When confronted by someone, faced with a sad or angry person, say to yourself, I can breathe and soften my belly and the floor of my pelvis. I don’t have to calm them down. I will calm myself and tell myself I am glad they came to the shelter. I am glad they brought their animal here.

Anchors: As you breathe you can recall moments of triumph, a happy ending, the starfish story.

Begin staff meetings/department meetings with a check-in. For example, “How are you feeling?” You may vary the question. The worker does not have to explain (Tom Colvin, Iowa)

Take Time out following difficult events: Take a break after painful or other stressful incidents. Pull in. Self-soothe. What touches your heart, gives you relief, peace? It can be prayer or meditation. Walk outside.

Get Back-Up: Ask a colleague to handle a task that you know you are not up to at the time

Pet the Animals

Wise people tell us to eat well, to decrease our intake of sugar and caffeine (doughnuts, comfort food) during times of stress



Alcohol and drugs rob you of rich full life you deserve in return for your work for animals

Stay hydrated (i.e., drink water)

Exercise: Walk, walk in the woods, hike, ski, ride a bike. Tolerance to stress can be improved through regular exercise and relaxation. People who exercise have a higher sense of self-esteem and lower rates of depression.

Acknowledge/thank a colleague

Laugh

Set boundaries: Remember, you teach that it is cruel not to train an animal/set boundaries with an animal. You are being cruel to yourselves if you do not set boundaries.

Writing: You can write to express feelings. You can write yourself the letter you deserve from your supervisor. You can write yourself the letter you would like to receive from your parents. One ACO wrote himself a letter from all the dogs he had euthanized (from the perspective of where they are now).

Self-talk: How many of you say things to yourself that are as kind and generous as the things you say to your colleagues, your friends, the animals?

Faced with an angry person, you can breathe and silently say something true and positive to yourself, like, “I am doing a wonderful job,” “I am a wonderful adoption counselor,” “I am wonderful with animals,” “I am a dog whisperer/cat whisperer,” “Dogs trust me,” “I am an excellent supervisor,” etc.

This is the positive self-talk that is true and that you deserve.

If you are having flashbacks/recurring images/nightmares, they will generally dissipate over time and become less intrusive. They are very normal. Lots of times we get scared about them. You can do thought stopping, choose not to think about it. You may need help to do this.

Light a candle or create another kind of ritual