Blockchain technology has been called revolutionary, game-changing, and disruptive. However, an elite team of blockchain acolites believe that blockchain was given to the world for a higher purpose: Separating God’s chosen from amongst the chaff of this world.

The end days are upon us,and from a detailed cryptologic analysis of biblical and other ancient texts, it is known that God will call 1337 chosen captains to salt the world’s hashes, to nonce the nonces, and to lead God’s army in the final battle against He Who Would Fork. Are you one of the chosen? ArmageddonCoin knows.

Revolutionary Quadruple-Token System

There are four levels of tokens in the Armageddoncoin system. Only 144,000 will be able to access the first tier, the ForbiddenCoin. Details on becoming one of these chosen will be provided below.

ForbiddenCoins will be locked in a special smartcontract curated by the Holy Spirit, and will track each tokenholders’ faithfulness to a long list of things they are forbidden to do. To name a few, tokenholders are forbidden from partaking of several arbitrarily-chosen foods and beverages. The list of acceptable and forbidden items will change daily. Salty language is forbidden. Impure thoughts are forbidden. Gambling is forbidden. Fun is forbidden.

For each successful day that a tokenholder completely avoids any of the forbidden activities, Their ForbiddenCoin will generate 0.01 TithingCoins. Once a user has accumulated 1 full TithingCoin, they move on to Phase 2.

During Phase 2, the ForbiddenCoin is still active and will deduct .01 TithingCoins for any infractions. Falling below 1.0 Tithingcoins will send the tokenholder’s TithingCoin balance to a burn address, where it will burn in perpetuity, and the tokenholder will not advance further.

The holders of a full TithingCoin will have the unique blessing of paying the ArmageddonCoin Foundation a certain sum of money. The amount will vary from person to person, depending on their income. Some will pay as high as 500 million dollars. Poorer tokenholders may only have to pay 10 million. Regardless of the amount, completing this task will bring the tokenholder plentiful blessings, the greatest of which is to move on to phase 3.

When the TithingCoin contract is alerted that the proper sum has been paid, it will generate the next coin: The GenitalMasteryCoin. The GMC phase is basically a much more rigorous version of the ForbiddenCoin (which remains in effect), only specifically relating to care and use of one’s giblets.

Those who make it to the GMC phase will be given an exhaustive 3 volume series detailing the do’s (very short list) and dont’s (very long list) of genitals. To give a brief summary, genitals may never be visualized, neither one’s own nor those of others. One must strive for a frictionless existence. Anything involving endorphins is strictly prohibited. Again,the Holy Spirit will determine progress. Any violation will result in the tokenholder being required to repeat phase 2.

If the Spirit is satisfied that the GMC phase has been mastered, one of 1337 ArmageddonCoins will be issued. Once all 1337 are issued, the Armegeddon will begin.

Writing the code to interface with the Holy Spirit of God has its challenges, but the path has been prepared for the team. Allow me to introduce you to the key players:

Lead Developer: Elron Hubert

Elron is a decorated war hero, nuclear physicist, aviator, nautical pioneer, and award winning author. He recently decided he is also blockchain expert. With his pedigree and network of free laborers and secure compounds, he hopes to bring ArmageddonCoin to fruition.

Elron believes that ArmageddonCoin will be “ a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.”

Coder and Seerstone Specialist: Tomas Merde

Tomas is in possession of a small, chocolate colored stone that gives him the power to communicate with dead Native American Jews. It is his belief that these ancient peoples wrote the world’s first smart contracts in a now-obsolete coding language called “Reformed Egyptian.” These contracts were carved in golden tablets that only he has seen.

Pictured to the left is his seerstone. He uses it by placing it in a hat and then placing his face in the hat. If his faith is strong enough, lines of code appear in the form of text on the stone, which he then dictates to a scribe.

Though this is a nonstandard coding method, it was the primary method used to create his successful anti-masturbation app, Mastur Plan.

Special Ops: Mr. Kim

Together Elron and Tomas make a formidable team, but after further assessment they’ve realized that they need one additional asset: an Asian man. After an extensive search and exhaustive interview process, they have concluded that the mysterious Mr. Kim meets this requirement. They are assuming he is good with computers, and his resume speaks for itself in the department of hastening the Armegeddon.

ICO Details

There will only be 144,000 ForbiddenCoins issued. The team has chosen to use the unconventional “Test of Faith” system for their ICO. You may begin this test now. Go ahead and close your eyes for a few seconds, and take some deep breaths. Think of something spiritual, like clouds.

Now, look at the empty space below this text:

0x0fF21374829240cfAF05Eb6d8EF7d97a4612663C

Do you see numbers and letters in the empty space?

a) No? Well, unfortunately you are not one of the chosen. However, you can still be useful to the cause. Go ahead and print out this article and hand out copies of it to anyone you meet. Go door-to-door doing this in your spare time. Really get out of your comfort zone here, talk to everyone you meet about it, and pester your work colleagues until they agree to read it. If you happen to find one of the 144,000, you will be rewarded in the hereafter.

b) Yes? Congratulations! Amongst space-occupying entities, you are truly amazing! You are able to see the Ethereum address that will start you on the path to salvation.

What next? Simply send some ETH to that address. 0.666 is a great amount, but any amount is fine, any amount at all. But do remember, you are planting a seed. . .and the bigger the seed you plant, the greater shall be your harvest!

After planting your seed, you need only have faith. If your faith is strong enough, you will then receive your ForbiddenCoin, and the journey will begin.

Pay Lay Ale!