Harper’s hands shook slightly as Devin handed her another glass of amber liquid. “Thanks,” she muttered hoarsely as she lifted the drink to her lips.

The alcohol burned her throat even more than the long bouts of heavy sobbing that had plagued her for the past few hours.

The moment Harper saw the casket, something inside of her completely broke. It killed her to know that it held the cold, lifeless body of the woman she loved. Her beautiful, perfect Ivy… Though she was neither of those things anymore, Harper knew.

She was grateful that Ivy’s brother had opted for a closed casket. It was bad enough to just imagine that terrible sight… There was no way Harper could ever handle seeing it with her own eyes. Instead, her final memory of Ivy’s face was vibrant and beautiful. Her bright blue eyes glistening with tears; the very corners of her soft, full lips curled every-so-slightly into a sad smile as they said goodbye…

Harper already dreaded the day when she could no longer remember that beautiful sight.

“Hey… Maybe you should slow down a little.” Devin said gently as he took a seat beside her on the couch.

She finished this drink in nearly half the time of her first. Her head was already pleasantly fuzzy, and her cheeks had begun to grow slightly warm. It felt nice. For the first time all day, it felt like some of the pain was finally being numbed.

“I’m fine.” She insisted. “In fact… I wouldn’t say no to a third?” Harper smiled slightly.

Devin shook his head. “Getting drunk isn’t gonna help.” His voice was pained. “I know how much it hurts, Harper. But that won’t make it better.”

“No… You don’t know.” She replied, her voice quiet but firm. “You have no fucking idea what this feels like.” The sharp sting of tears had suddenly returned to the corner of her eyes.

So much for numbing the pain…

Pain…

Harper suddenly found herself thinking back to one of the most terrible parts of that afternoon… Talking to Finn. Until now, she’d only met Ivy’s brother in passing, maybe a handful of times in the year the two of them had spent in prison together.

Harper had always liked him. He was kind and warm like his sister… Maybe not quite as introverted as she’d been, but still so gentle and soft-spoken. She enjoyed the brief time they’d spent together.

But talking to him that day had been torture. He’d tried to put on a brave face, but Harper could tell just how broken and empty he truly was… Probably even more than she was. The thought made her heart break even more than it already had. He had no one now. Literally no one. Ivy was his only living family member he had contact with… And now she was gone.

Ivy had loved her little brother more than anyone in the world. And if she could see him now… She’d be so worried. Harper knew she had to do something.

So at the end of the funeral, she gave him her phone number, and encouraged him to reach out to her. “If you ever need to talk to somebody, please… Call me.” She’d said.

Finn accepted her offer gratefully. And then he’d said something that haunted Harper even now, hours later. And it would probably continue to haunt her for a long time. It was something that should have brought her great joy, but instead, it simply broke her heart.

“Thank you. You’re so sweet… Just like Ivy always said,” he’d told her. “Thank you for everything you did for her. I’m sure you already know this… But she loved you so much, Harper.”

He’d said the words with such certainty… And Harper knew it was true. Maybe she always had.

And maybe if she’d told Ivy she felt the same way, none of this would have happened.

Before Harper knew it, the floodgates were open, and she found herself sobbing and wailing once more.

“Shhh… It’s okay.” In an instant, Devin’s strong arms were around her, pulling her close to him. “You’re right. I don’t know how it feels… But I’m so sorry. It kills me to see you like this.”

She buried her face in his shoulder, unable to reply as her tears continued to flow. Harper tried her best to calm herself once more, taking a few slow, deep breaths. Devin’s arms were so strong and warm… It was hard not to feel safe in his embrace. Loved. Just like the way she’d once felt with Ivy. Harper had missed feeling this way so much more than she realized.

She nuzzled gently against Devin’s neck as she inhaled the musky scent of clay and cologne on his skin. She’d always loved the way Devin smelled. It was just as intoxicating as the alcohol she’d drank a few minutes before.

“Thank you.” She whispered at last, her head still resting on his shoulder. “You’re the best, Dev.”

His shoulder shook slightly with a small chuckle. “Best? I don’t know about that…”

“I’m serious.” Harper continued. She finally sat up once more. “Don’t ever tell Rylie this… But you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” She had no idea where these words were coming from, but Harper meant every single one. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’ve always been there for me, even when no one else was. And I’m… I’m just so lonely right now.” Her voice was suddenly thick. “You’re the only person who makes me feel okay again.”

Devin’s expression was almost impossible to read. He seemed at a loss for words.

Harper had no idea what came over her then.

But the next thing she knew, her lips were on his.

And he was kissing her back.

A strange flood of memories came rushing back to her then. That night at the New Years Eve party, when she’d kissed Devin for the first time. The gentle way Erik used to kiss her ‘good morning’ each day, even when he was at his worst. The sweet, perfect taste of Ivy’s lips and tongue against hers…

Harper missed it — all of it — so much. God, I need this.

She ripped Devin’s jacket from his strong arms, tossing it to the floor below them. He groaned softly against her lips as she swung her legs over his.

Her entire body was on fire. And nothing else mattered but him.

But just as quickly as it had started, it was all over.

“Harper… Wait… Wait!” She felt Devin’s hands on her then… But not in the way she wanted to. “Stop, okay? Shit… We can’t do this.” His voice was pained.

She could still feel Devin’s erection pressing against her, even then. It was so fucking hot. Harper knew he wanted this just as much as she did. So why was he pushing her away?

“What is it?” She asked, one of her small hands touching the rough stubble of his cheek. “What’s wrong?”

He gently pushed her from his lap then, rising to his feet. “You seriously have to ask?” Devin shook his head almost bitterly. “This isn’t right, Harper.”

She felt her heartrate rising at his words. All the comfort and joy she’d felt just moments before had completely vanished. Why was he doing this? How could he reject her? She needed him!

“What’s your problem?!” She demanded suddenly. “I thought you wanted this!’

“Of course I do! You know I do… I’ve always wanted this.” Devin paused, shaking his head slowly. “But not like this.”

“Why not?!”

He held his face in one of his hands for a moment before replying. “Because the woman you love just got put in the ground this morning! And because no matter how much I want this, I know that you don’t, Harper. You think you do, but you don’t.” A soft sigh passed his lips. “You’re not thinking straight right now. You’re hurt. You’re grieving. And you’ve had too much to drink, which is totally my fault…” He was almost rambling now. “If we go through with this, we’re both gonna end up getting hurt. Trust me.”

“You don’t know that.” Harper insisted, her voice suddenly small. “I need this, Dev. I need you.” Why couldn’t he understand that? She needed to feel safe again. Happy. Wanted. Loved. And she knew he could make her feel all of that and more.

“No.” This time Devin’s voice was firm. “If you’re looking for some kind of rebound hookup, you’ve come to the wrong place, Harper.” For a moment, he narrowed his eyes at her. But when he spoke again, his tone was much softer than before. “Look, you know how I feel about you. You know I will always be here for you when you need me… But not like that. Not now.”

Harper felt her tears begin to fall once more. I’m being ridiculous. She knew it was selfish of her to keep pushing him like this. He was right… It would be an insult to Ivy’s memory, wouldn’t it? And she’d just end up hurting him. And I’d hate myself if I ever did that to him.

But where else could she go? Who else could she turn to? Erik had Phoenix for the weekend, and she couldn’t stand the thought of being alone in the house with her parents after the funeral… But it was simply too awkward now to try spending the night here.

I’ve gotta get out of here.

“I’m sorry.” She said at last. “You’re right. I’m just… I’m really overwhelmed right now. I never should have tried pushing you like that. I… I think I just need to go home. Head to bed.”

He smiled softly at her. “It’s okay. I know you’re not exactly yourself right now… Which I totally get.” Devin assured her. “This can’t be easy for you…” He paused for a few seconds before speaking again. “Do you want me to give you a ride? Are you okay to drive?”

“I’m fine.” She promised. “Don’t worry about me, okay?” Harper leaned forward, planting a soft kiss against his cheek. “And I really did mean what I said before… You’re the best, Dev.”

Harper headed for the door then. And thankfully, he did not follow.

She only made it to the sidewalk outside Devin’s apartment building before she stopping herself. Fuck… I can’t go home. She knew she couldn’t.

So where would she go instead?

It didn’t take long for her to find the answer. What she needed right now was a friend… A shoulder to cry on. Someone to comfort her.

Maybe even in the way Devin wouldn’t…

Harper shook her head. Dev’s right. I’m being stupid. That’s not what I need right now! So why did her heart seem to be telling her otherwise?

Trying her best to shake the thought from her mind, Harper headed straight for her car.

She knew exactly where she needed to go.