My name is Jason, and I’m 22 years old, which means I’m now too old for me to consider signing myself on Football Manager. I’ve also never played a competitive match of soccer in my life. I didn’t even play for my high school. In fact, my entire soccer repertoire consists of intramural league appearances with my friends and kicking the ball around alone for hours in my parents’ driveway when I was growing up.

I’m not exactly in terrible shape, but I’m probably not ready to be a professional athlete. I go for a run maybe once a week and I use my bicycle to get pretty much everywhere, but I also have a soft spot for ice cream and a propensity to spend my free time in front of a computer.

In order to go the tryouts prepared, I probably should have done some physical training. I could have gone to the gym, got on a regular exercise routine, or practiced my shooting technique. But in the end, I thought that would be too much work. Left with a limited number of options, I took a shortcut. I talked to an expert.

Nathan Sprenkel knows how to make a team through tryouts better than just about anyone. The former goalkeeper made the roster for three professional soccer teams through tryouts, including that of Indy Eleven, Forward Madison Managing Director Peter Wilt’s former club. When I told Sprenkel about my plan, perhaps he saw through me, but he was gracious enough to give me a few tips all the same.

The first thing Sprenkel told me was that I shouldn’t expect a cakewalk. Teams typically only take a handful of players, if that, from hundreds of hopefuls that come to try out. In the case of Forward Madison, that meant that of the 110 players who came to the club’s open tryout (not including myself), only four would eventually be picked to move on to the invitation tryout the next day.

“It’s tough because everyone there you don’t know, you’re trying to stand out from the group, it’s guys from really all over the world,” Sprenkel said. “You know they’re not going to form a team off of trialists, you know it’s a couple guys that are going to be getting contracts - if that.”

Okay, got it. So I’m going to have to make myself stick out. But how do I do that? Again, Sprenkel had the answer.

“Have some confidence and belief in yourself,” he told me. “Relax and enjoy the moment, because if you’re good enough, the talent will show.”

Well, to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t quite sure I was good enough. I hadn’t kicked a ball in weeks, and my last rec game had resulted in me giving away a penalty after touching the ball with my hand. But you know what? Trying out for a pro soccer team isn’t something you get to do all that often, so why not just give it a go anyway? I was nearly ready.

Before heading out, I only needed to talk to one more person. The manager.

Daryl Shore has been evaluating tryouts for 20 years, and as the new head coach of Forward Madison FC, he knew exactly how to go about this one. When I walked into his office, I started off by asking him some simple questions about how he was planning to approach the whole thing. I didn’t want to let him in on my true intentions quite yet, afraid that he might laugh me off - or worse, that he might take me seriously.

“We owe it to these players to give them their chance,” he told me, probably not realizing that he was talking to perhaps the least meritorious aspiring soccer player he’d ever laid eyes on. “The message to everybody is to come and and be ready to compete, but also to be ready to have fun.”

After a while, I worked up the nerve to shift the conversation to me. I asked Coach Shore what advice he would give to a prospective player.

“We’re giving all of these players an opportunity to showcase their talents,” he said. “I would tell you, one, don’t try to overdo it. Don’t try to over-impress.”

Don’t over-impress. Okay, well, at least I know I’ve got that part down.