Warren Jeffs, the head of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, was convicted of sexual assault in August 2011. During the trial, he made a motion for Judge Barbara Walther to recuse herself because God said she should.

To support this motion, God showed up in the courtroom to testify. Here is the transcript:

TIPSTAFF: State your name. GOD: God. TIPSTAFF: Occupation? GOD: Deity. TIPSTAFF: Legal residence? GOD: Everywhere. JEFFS hisses: That’s Buddhism! GOD: I beg your pardon. Heaven. TIPSTAFF: Ah, put your hand on Yourself, I guess. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help You … You? GOD: I do. JUROR screams out: Why did you give my Aunt Bertha cancer? GOD: I never. JEFFS: Woohoo! Mistrial! JUDGE WALTHER: Sorry, Mr. Jeffs, no dice. Shall we continue. Mr. God, did you really tell Mr. Jeffs that I should recuse myself? GOD: No. Why that bozo thinks I’m his lap dog is beyond me.