I knew I couldn't live like this any longer, and I decided it was time to get some professional advice. I called a debt helpline and they encouraged me to make spreadsheet of everything I owed. That was the first time I’d ever sat down and taken it all in. It took me an entire Sunday and, by the time I’d finished, I was sitting with my head in my hands trying not to cry. I was so ashamed. I so wanted to ring mum and tell her how bad things had got, but I’d been lying to her for so long, I couldn’t see a way out. My debt had left me feeling totally isolated and alone. Instead of talking to anyone, I drank the vodka I’d been given for my birthday that year until I passed out. I think that was my rock bottom.