1. Barack Obama is the best speaker I've ever seen.

Now for all these years I've been attributing this to his being brilliantly smart, a great writer, and a passionate orator. BUT maybe he's SO good at all those things because he's not human. You know who else is a brilliant and convincing rhetorician? Satan.

2. Barack Obama is empathetic to the needs of America.

Now sure, I bet you're thinking to yourself, "Wait. Wouldn't empathy be a sign that he's not a demon?" I would have thought so too, but isn't it possible that THAT'S WHAT THE DEMONS WANT US TO THINK?! Wake up, sheeple.

3. Mitch McConnell doesn't like Barack Obama.

Turtles famously hate demons. This one is so obvious.

4. Barack Obama is one of the best presidents we've ever had.

Maybe the reason why past presidents were often disappointing was because they were mere mortals. It took a supernaturally omniscient hell being for us to finally have a great president.

5. Barack Obama himself addressed the rumors.

Sure, on first glance it might seem like this dismisses the rumor that Obama is a demon, but when he sniffed himself, did he say what he smelled like? Nope. Furthermore, does anyone know what Barack Obama smells like?

So there you have it. Barack Obama is probably a demon. Which means I now will exclusively be voting for demons for the presidency, because apparently that means you end up with empathetic and effective leaders who speak well and are hated by noted turtle Mitch McConnell. That's what I'm looking for. If only there was someone else that Alex Jones called a demon. Hmmm...