When Justin Bieber and his entourage flew from Canada to New Jersey ahead of Super Bowl weekend, the private jet was reportedly filled with so much marijuana smoke that pilots had to wear oxygen masks to prevent a contact high. Additionally, Bieber and his father were allegedly “extremely abusive” to a flight attendant, who was forced to take shelter in the cockpit.

According to the official report of the incident, acquired by NBC News, “The captain of the flight stated that he warned the passengers, including Bieber, on several occasions to stop smoking marijuana. The captain also stated he needed to request that the passengers stop their harassing behavior toward the flight attendant and after several warnings asked the flight attendant to stay with him near the cockpit to avoid any further abuse.”

This whole thing is a carnival of absurdity, as are most things involving the Biebs these days, but the most absurd thing of all may be how much gravitas NBC Freaking News affords this glorified gossip tale (it required the work of FOUR reporters!). Anyway, read on for a look at how our precious law enforcement and journalism resources are being wasted on a spoiled teenager who is comically inept when it comes to keeping a low profile.

The incident took place January 31 on Bieber’s leased Gulfstream IV jet. We have never been inside a Gulfstream IV, so we have no idea how much weed smoke it takes to hotbox the thing, but we imagine it’d be a lot. So much that NBC News says the pilots “were forced to wear their oxygen masks during the flight, according to multiple sources, so that they wouldn’t risk inhaling marijuana and failing any subsequent drug test, which would put their licenses at risk.”

Once the plane landed, “it was met by DEA and Customs and Border Patrol agents and police. There was still marijuana smoke inside the cabin, according to the report… Authorities then boarded the jet, which multiple sources said reeked of marijuana. However, no unsmoked weed was found during the search.” Since no drugs could be pinned to Bieber, nobody filed charges after the flight, and thus the star avoided his third run-in with authorities in about as many weeks.

My question is — if this is how Bieber is acting (and to be sure, he is being a prodigious jackass), how did people deal with bona fide party animals like Motley Crue or Metallica or Snoop Doggy Dogg back in the day? How is a Canadian twerp so effectively disrupting everything??

[via NBC News]