The Mr. says real men drink tea, fool! But first, they graciously receive it from a loved one, embedded in a gaudily appointed, blinged out greeting card. Mr. Tea imparts well wishes, kudos, sympathies, and good old Wazzups in the form of two cardboard mounted bags of classically blended herbal deliciousness with a kick. Obviously a direct representation of their namesake. Mr. Tea greeting cards are A-Team approved, except by Murdock, who drinks only Death Wish Coffee and Kool-Aid.

Speaking of tea and bags, my friend's elderly boss consistently, loudly, and yet completely innocently refers to members of the Tea Party as "Tea Baggers" around the office. That's good material.