a/n: suggestion of rape. please see authors note after this chapter.

It had been days. Perhaps, even weeks. Anna was trying her best to keep things afloat, but the atmosphere… the dreaded feeling in the house felt horrible. The news said it all.

Norwegian Cruise, on the way to the Bahamas had, experienced a devastating problem… leaving thousands severely injured… and another thousand… sitting right on the bottom of the ocean floor. The ship had been recovered as soon as possible, but what did it matter when all those people were…

It was dreadful.

Elsa hadn't eaten. Hadn't slept. Hadn't even cleaned herself for a week. Two weeks. It was becoming worrying, and Anna nearly called for a doctor, a therapist - anyone to get her to come out of her house. To see the sunlight. She missed seeing her sunshine smile.

But Anna couldn't blame her. Each day, they listened and watched the news… and each day the death counts were increasing. Their heart ached… and every night, Anna prayed with her wife that everything was going to be okay. Almost, every night… Elsa would throw up at the horrifying thought that -

Well… they couldn't just imagine the worse. Expectedly… they did. Nobody answered their calls. Anna went to the police, called for a detective, even a lawyer - but it was all in vain. They even recently found out Elsa… couldn't conceive a child, but it was only their first try.

Two weeks had passed. No news, except for the broadcasted news about the incident kept dishing out however many people had died, had been found, had gone MIA. Anna didn't allow Elsa to watch it. She would freak out.

But that Sunday morning, Anna was making breakfast. Surprisingly, her wife came down from their room. Her hair was oily, dirty, tangled, and all she wore was an oversized shirt she hadn't changed from since… God knows, how long.

"Anna."

Anna immediately turned her attention from washing the dishes to Elsa. Quickly, she came to her side, arms lovingly holding Elsa together. "Hey… hey, honey, how are you feeling? I made breakfast, do you wanna eat with me?"

Timidly, and hesitantly, Elsa nodded. And she could see it, all of Elsa's dark circles, her awfully pale - almost seemingly grey - face. Those blue eyes… were so voided from light and love. The redhead could feel her heartache as she slowly took Elsa to sit on the couch. She sat down beside her, gazing carefully at Elsa's face. Her hand came to caress her cheek, and it just felt so dry and dull.

Those blue eyes stared at the black screen of their television for a moment only to look away.

"Okay, do you want to watch anything -" Elsa immediately tensed, "- I-I meant Netflix? Hulu?"

Shitty save.

Elsa shook her head. "I… let me just sit here."

"Okay, okay." She leaned in to kiss Elsa's forehead. "I'll finish up making breakfast and we can sit here to eat it, alright -"

Knock, knock.

Anna turned to the door. There was another knock. This time, she got up, "I'll get that."

She didn't know anyone in the neighborhood that would knock on their door this early in the morning. How strange.

She peeked out into the lens… only to see a man in a brown long coat and formal wear. She frowned, seeing how he immediately pulled out… his badge. A detective.

"Elsa - Elsa, come here, it's a detective."

That surely got Elsa's attention because, in a blink of an eye, the blonde had gotten up, rushed to Anna's side, and swung the door open.

A short silence filled the air as the man looked right at the two distraught wives.

"Hi, how can we help you?" Anna started. Her wife… still looked shocked.

The man showed his badge again before clasping his hands together. In one hand, he had an orange folder. "Yes, I would like to speak to... Elsa Arendelle?" He eyed the blonde immediately.

"That's me," Elsa immediately answered. The detective lowered his head, eyes gazing down. That only made Elsa more nervous. "What's going on? A-Are you here for my p-parents? D-Do you know where they are?"

Silence. Anna didn't blame her wife for being nervous, for bombarding the man with questions. She cared so deeply, loved so deeply about Agdar and Idun. She was their child after all…

Anna began to hold her wife in her arms, her own eyes coated with tears. She could hear all the little pleas whispering from Elsa's lips… and all of the sudden, Anna realized… this was all real. And god, she had always wished the nightmare would end… but it just didn't.

"As you may already know, I was assigned to your case. The ship has been recovered last week." The detective let out a low sigh, handing Anna the folder. "Unfortunately, Mister and Missus Arendelle were lost in sea -"

"Oh, no, no, no, God, no…" Elsa cried, the desperation and sorrow in her voice broke out like a shell of an egg had cracked open. "Y-You're wrong. It's not true -"

"Ma'am, it is -"

"WHY COULDN'T YOU ALL TRY HARDER?!" The blonde wept so loudly, falling on the ground, and all Anna could do was fall with her, support her, hold her tight.

Anna didn't want this. She never wanted Elsa to mourn. She never wanted Elsa to cry like this. Her heart broke into pieces. Her folks… were loving people and treated Anna as their own, and now this?

She pressed her forehead against Elsa's, letting the woman cry… letting the woman scratch her with her sharp nails.

"I am… truly sorry for your loss, Mrs. Arendelle. Please, rest assured, we did all that we could… but it was an unfortunate event. We found them and have brought them back to land. Contact us, please. Here, my card -"

"Just go…" Anna croaked. "Leave us be."

The detective didn't say another word. He nodded, leaving the card on the floor… and he was gone.

Right now, Anna prioritized with Elsa's mental health. The woman was crying so loudly, almost like a child…

"Mama… Papa…" she wept. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… Please don't leave me, please…"

"You know, you should really tell Olaf about our relationship."

Anna blinked, turning to her side, facing Meg. They were bare in bed for the night, clothes shed from their body, and the moon shined brightly, illuminating Anna's freckles. She watched her girlfriend smile, a hand coming up to run through Anna's loose hair. And all Anna could see… was the flawlessness of Meg's skin, how full her breasts were. She licked her lip, eyeing the cleavage under the blanket. "W-Why?"

"Eyes." A finger propped below Anna's chin to tilted her head up. Meg raised her eyebrows. "Up here."

"S-Sorry." She cleared her throat. "It's a little too early, don't you think? Shouldn't… I don't know, we prepare?"

Meg sighed her hand falling to lay atop of Anna's arm. "Prepare for what? A war?"

"No, I -"

"Anna, any time for you would be early. You're not ready, I can tell, but the longer you wait, Anna… the worse things are going to be."

She wasn't wrong. But either way, she wasn't quite sure how Olaf would react once he found out the news. She chewed on her lip in deep thinking, feeling Meg's finger tracing circles over her skin.

"Hey…" Meg sounded. "Isn't it better to get it over with. He's still just a kid."

"Yeah, but he's my kid… and I… I don't want to hurt him, you know?"

A sigh escaped, and Anna wasn't sure if that because Meg had succumbed to acceptance or if she was becoming more frustrated. Anna understood though - she would be frustrated with herself too. She looked away, feeling Meg pull the redhead closer to her body, her warm hand scaling down Anna's waist. "Tell you what, tomorrow, when you come to pick him up, we can discuss this with him in the classroom. How does that sound?"

It wasn't what Anna quite imagined, really. The most she expected was for them to go out for the night with Olaf, have an evening just spoiling the boy with entertainment and dinner before breaking the news to him. Sure, it wasn't such a good idea, but… neither was doing this in such a straightforward manner in a strictly professional environment where he was being taught. No, it was barely professional now that Anna was fucking his teacher. This was laughable.

Her thoughts swirled wildly in the back of her head, but all she saw was the determination and the plea written all over Meg's expression. How odd for her to push Anna to do this, but… Meg was always considerate of others. If it meant that she had to mother Anna's son as well… then, so be it.

She swallowed, nodding. "Yeah, you're right."

"Of course I am." Meg smiled, pecking a small kiss on Anna's lips. "Trust when I tell you I want the best for you and Olaf. And I know… I'm just his teacher, but… I care, do you understand?"

"I do." Anna felt timid, listening to all of this.

Feeling Meg hold her body, her chest heaving with each slow breath taken in and out, it rid Anna from these intrusive thoughts. The fact was… she cared too much for the boy to even start breaking the news that… both his mothers were selfish. Instead of taking care of him together - despite their differences - they had to break apart, they had to put themselves above him… they had to leave him for other people.

She swallowed, shutting her eyes. The soothing hand mellow with its touch dragged against Anna's skin under the warmth of the cover. She didn't need to peek up, having her forehead kissing Meg's chest, to see determined orbs staring right at her. "You'll be there…?"

A laughter rumbled. "Silly, of course, I'm going to be there. Now get some sleep. It's going to be a long day…"

What was I thinking? Anna should never have agreed to this. Her palms were sweaty, gripping onto the steering wheel, her eyes almost bulging out each time she looked to the side where Olaf's school was. The majority of the students had probably gotten out of their after-school program.

There were still fifteen minutes before the school closed for the night, and Anna… really had to go in and catch her boy, but she just couldn't budge. She promised Meg that they would talk, she promised Meg that they would do whatever it took to make sure Olaf would understand.

But the way her mind swirled, finding different types of scenarios where Olaf would definitely disagree and throw a tantrum… Oh God.

She repeatedly bashed her head against the steering wheel lightly, groaning to herself. "Get it together, get it together, you can do it… I mean, it's not the end of the world if he throws a tantrum. He's a kid, after all. What's the worst case scenario? … Throwing a tantrum. Ugh!" Get over it!

With that, and a shot of courage mixed in her adrenaline, she got out of the car. Her legs trembled, but it wasn't stopping her from entering the school. And when did that building get bigger?

As usual, the lights were turned off in the hallway, and by the time Anna arrived at his floor, she could hear Meg yelling for the students to pack it up. Each step she took, came closer to the light of the classroom. And each step became heavier than the last, and it was almost like the whole world depended on her. Her son depended on her.

She knocked on the open door, seeing Olaf show Meg a sketch he drew. The two picked their head up, and almost like they were twins, they smiled and came right towards her.

"Mama, you're here!"

"Oof," Anna laughed - as well, making sure she didn't seem to visibly nervous to the boy - when he wrapped his arms around her. She looked up to see Meg silently tending to clean up Olaf's crayon bucket. It must've been a coincidence. Everyone, except for Olaf, was gone for the day. Have I really been sitting in the car for that long? "Alright, did you have fun today?"

The boy, as always, cheerful, smiled. "Yes! We played with clays today, and I made a robot."

"Oh!" Anna widened her eyes. "Must've been pretty cool, huh? Wanna show me?"

"Olaf, come get your robot for Mama," Meg urged, gently picking the one that was his from the rows of sculptures near the window. Of course, it wasn't the best, but it was the best that a child could ever make, and Olaf was proud of it.

With his small hands, he was careful to take it - and saying thank you to his teacher - he showed his little artistic skills to Anna. "Look!"

"Wow, you made that, huh?" Anna took Olaf's hand, sitting them by a table. Meg followed suit as well, sitting right across from them. "That looks cool. What's its name?"

Olaf thought for a moment, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Not sure yet… But I'm gonna show Mom! Maybe she'll give it a name!"

"Oh?" Anna smiled, leaning her head against her hand, elbow propped on the table. Her fingers ran through the boy's hair, and she sighed. "Well, let's wait till you get home, hm?"

He nodded, looking around. "Are we not going home now?"

The women eyed each other silently the moment he said that. "Well…" How should I even begin? She continues to caress Olaf's hair, gazing at him with the softest, motherly eyes… and God, she wished she didn't have to feel regret or else, this would've been so much easier. "We want to have a talk with you, buddy."

"We?" Olaf looked between the both of them, eyebrows furrowed in worry. Slowly, he cowered into a ball, shoulders tucked upwards. "M-Mama, am I in trouble?"

Anna immediately shook her head. "No, God, no… of course not." She paused for a silent moment. "Olaf, remember when I told you Mom got tired of… being with me?"

"Uh-huh…" he said timidly, and only when Meg extended a hand to Anna… he turned to his teacher. There wasn't any other way. She held the brunette's hand."Mama, what are you doing…?"

This is it. Anna opened her mouth… but those words that she had been practicing all this time - left her mind immediately. She couldn't do it. Tears rested on the corner of Anna's eyes, and she gazed down, shutting them. Olaf shouldn't see her cry. And Anna… shouldn't show a sign of any weakness.

"Olaf, look at me," Meg started. Curious, Olaf turned to his teacher. Thank god. "Your mother and I… we've been friends for a long time, you see. You see us every day together, talking and laughing. And you know what? What did I tell you today about friendships?"

He gazed up at the ceiling. "Oh… that there are more types of things than friendships? Like m… marriage!"

Meg chuckled. "Yes, exactly like that. But between friendships and marriage, there are lovers who are not ready for marriage yet."

"Um…" Olaf hummed with uncertainty, looking at his mother. "Mama?"

Anna merely smiled, and in a way, she wasn't sure how to convey what she wanted to say. Perhaps, she was felt sorry for the boy, but in the end, she realized any parent would feel sorry for putting themselves first, rather than their child. "Olaf," she whispered. "Do you Miss Johnson?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, I like her too. But… not in a way that you like her." Is this the best way I can explain this to him? Anna, you are horrible. She gulped. "Miss… well, Meg and I… we're together."

Olaf seemed to have been taken aback by that, his eyebrows furrowing in a way that… Anna never would've thought they would. Or perhaps, she had never seen Olaf in such heartbreak… not after she left their home. The boy looked between the two in silence, and both women were smiling warmly, almost… like they would convince the boy if they continued to look like that. "W-What about Mom?"

Anna sighed, nodding. I get it. I can't leave her. But I have to. "Just like Mom, who enjoys the company of Uncle Hans -"

"No! Mama, no!" Olaf immediately got up, stomping his foot on the ground. He pushed his mother away, and just like that, Anna could feel her own self shattering. Three words… of rejection from her child, and it was enough to make Anna's voice crack as she tried her best to stop herself from weeping.

Meg stood up as well, coming to his side. "Olaf -"

"No, don't touch me!" The boy screamed, glaring at his mother. "Mama, I don't like it!"

Anna took in a shaky breath, crawling towards him, and at least… the boy let Anna touch him. She held his arms tightly, gazing down in shame. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, Olaf. Mama… Mama is a bad, bad person -"

Olaf shook his head, shaking himself away from his grip. His cheeks began to color red, staining itself with tears. "I want Mom and Mama back together! I'm tired of this!"

"Olaf, stop -"

"I-I hate you!" A second hadn't even passed yet, and Olaf had quickly slipped out of his mother's grip and ran out of the room.

"Olaf!" Anna yelled, but she knew the boy wasn't going to come back. 'I hate you' he said… That was the first time Anna had even heard that word. Her heart shattered, and she eyed the opened door widely, in shock… and in fear. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she couldn't even feel the warmth that surrounded her when Meg hugged her. "Oh God… what have I done…?"

"Anna, Anna, look at me." Meg sat right in front of her, hands holding her cheeks. "You did nothing wrong. He's having a tantrum, okay -"

Anna grasped the woman's shoulder and looked over her. "N-No, I… I-I gotta get him back…"

"Anna -"

The redhead stood up, grabbing her boy's stuff. "I-I should… I should never have done this."

"Hey." Meg stood in front of her once more, caring eyes staring at her that even Anna didn't care to look at. "It's not your fault. I…" She licked her lip, hand caressing on Anna's arm. "I want you to be happy. If you anything… call me when you talk him through, alright?"

She knew Meg would say this. And as much she wanted to believe that this wasn't her fault - that this… was necessary - it didn't feel like it. If Olaf had gotten hurt… it was going to be on her. She only silently nodded, accepting - in reluctance - of Meg's kiss on her forehead before leaving. Anna didn't even give her girlfriend the pleasure to say those three loving words, nor look at her in the eyes. It wasn't Meg's fault. It was only a suggestion…

Anna… was only mad at herself, is all.

Knowing that Olaf had probably ran outside, Anna quickly followed through. She didn't want him to get cold - still unable to disregard what he said. The moment she got out of the school, Olaf… was sitting by the steps, arms crossing. In the background, she can hear the boy weep silently as well. Perhaps… it really was her fault.

The woman walked slowly towards him, running her fingers through his hair. "Olaf, come on, let's get in the car."

Surprisingly, Olaf did just that - just… more angrily. And while they did just that with Olaf sitting in the passenger seat, Anna wasn't able to drive yet. She wanted to talk. She turned on the lights, turning to gaze at the boy sitting beside her, sulking.

"Olaf -"

"Hmph." He looked to the side window.

For a moment, Anna contemplated whether she should be talking to Olaf, but… she was his parent. She needed to make him understand, no matter how angry he was. "Honey… I know you're angry at me. You are young, I don't expect you to understand why Mama and Mom did the things that were done," she spoke softly, caressing his hair. Somehow… it made Olaf loosen his tense posture a little. "But sometimes… in order to be happy, we have to find happiness with another person."

Olaf let out a huff. "Mama, you weren't happy?"

Good, he's talking to me. She shook her head. "Sometimes, when you aren't happy… you want to hide with a smile and pretend to be happy for other people. In Mama's case… I wasn't happy being without your mother. I… had to respect her decision though. And your teacher was always there for me, so I found happiness through her."

Still, with the same expression from before, Olaf turned to her. "But I don't like that…"

Anna tilted her head. "Now, you're going to have to tell me why, so I can understand too."

The boy shook his head. "It's just… I miss Mama and Mom together… Am I gonna be left behind?"

"Oh God, no, Olaf…" She leaned in, kissing his forehead. "Baby, we would never leave you behind, you know that. I… I just want to say I'm sorry. For everything."

While sniffling, the boy tenderly held onto his mother's hand. "Mama, I just… want you to be home again."

And it was just… something that Anna couldn't say yes to. Elsa didn't want her home. Elsa didn't want her. So for Olaf to ask… demand her to come home just made Anna, even more, angrier at herself. She had to come to the realization that it wasn't just her own fault… but Elsa's as well. Being so blinded? Being so… selfish that they couldn't even see their son crying for them? It wasn't anything that Anna and Elsa planned on. But neither… did they plan the fact that Elsa couldn't have a child in the first place.

"I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry I can't be home… But one day, I will be -"

"When? You always say that!" Olaf pouted, crossing his arms. "You big liar, Mama! Big fat liar!"

It had been a week since Hans came home, but he was here. By then, Olaf was already being picked up from school, and Hans had just gotten up to the second floor for a shower. Elsa, as always, was getting ready for dinner, trying her best not to show the pain that was her back. But in the end… it wasn't going to matter if it was going to happen again. Elsa wasn't going to let it happen again - but who was to say she was strong either?

Upstairs, Elsa could hear the shower faucet being turned off, and the door opening. Hans came walking out with his body in full view, his lower half covered in a white towel. Hearing him walk down to her, Elsa simply ignored, until she felt his arm wrapped around her waist, lips kissing her neck. "Mm, beautiful. Smells good. Food… and you."

Elsa smiled, nodding, barely able to get away from his grip.

"Hey, hey." He grabbed her wrist immediately. "Are you alright?"

The woman nodded. "Yeah, just… tired."

"Tired?" Hans frowned. "Doing what?"

"Look, Hans. It's been a long day. Just… I want you to just eat dinner and go home -"

He squinted his eyes. "Why? You don't want me here?"

"Hans -"

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for what happened. I should… I should never have yelled. It was my fault."

Elsa wasn't sure if she wanted to accept that, because she knew… she knew everything that he had said was all intention… and filled with anger and jealousy, no matter how many times she tried to tell him that none of what he said was true, and no matter how many times he would say he wasn't jealous. Bullshit. But in a way, she couldn't be honest with him either. She hadn't told him about her back - hadn't told him that the way he pushed her… hurt her. It wasn't his intention to hurt her, she knew… but a part of her was scared.

"Hey…" She felt a hand caress her wrist, eyes softening up on hers. Elsa didn't respond. And only when she didn't… Hans got more irritated. He clicked his tongue and pulled away. "I don't want to be like this. You can't always act like this -"

The doorbell rang. And before, Hans could even continue, Elsa needed the distraction and head to the door. She tried her best to put on the happiest mask of a face, and opened it… "Hi, buddy -"

… only to have Olaf push through her and run up the stairs. What…?

It was odd of him. Hans slowly came up to her from behind, and Anna… just stood by the entrance, with a face full of regret. "Anna…?"

"Anna, how are you?" Hans smiled, nodding to the boy that had run up the stairs. "Uh… is that normal?"

The redhead merely stayed quiet as she looked between the two… and Hans' naked body. She winced, shaking her head, and looked at Elsa instead. "I.. God, I made a mistake…"

"A mistake…?" She looked at Hans, and that was a complete signal that he had to go away. And so he did. "W-What do you mean, 'a mistake'?"

"God, I…" She placed her hand on her forehead, looking away. "I-I told him I was in a relationship with Meg."

The blonde raised her eyebrows in question, arms crossing. "You told him."

"Yeah! I-I was… I thought I had to. Meg suggested it, but… it's not her fault. I couldn't just keep it secret. I thought the sooner he knows, the better. Look, could you just talk to him?"

The defeated sigh made Elsa wonder if it was even worth convincing Olaf that they were okay. Surely, by now… he knew what was going on, but the little boy inside of him just didn't want to insist that things… were okay. She let out a deep sigh, leaning against the doorway. She nodded, but… it wasn't a nod full of promises. "Sure, I will."

"Oh, thank you." Anna clapped her hands together in thanks. "One more thing… Just tell him I love him."

"I will." She paused. "Well, it's late, and I know you… don't want to be here with him so -"

"Hey, did he… I mean, did you two…" Anna squinted. "He's half-naked and all…"

Elsa didn't quite understand what she was trying to say, but after a few seconds of staring strangely at Anna's suggestive expression, she nearly wanted to throw up. A hot blush immediately painted her cheeks. "Oh God, no! He was showering, Anna!"

The redhead sighed in relief, taking a step back. "Sorry, sorry. It's private stuff, yeah, I know. Glad to hear it, though. I take that back. Okay, I'm gonna… I'm gonna go. Um, really, tell him I love him?"

Elsa nodded. "Of course."

Silently, she watched her ex-wife get in her car and drive. For once, just this once, Elsa wanted something other than for Anna to be here. It wasn't because she was embarrassed to ask if Anna wanted to stay - she didn't want Anna to stay, as a matter of fact. Neither did she want Anna to leave.

Being alone with Hans, especially with Olaf in the house… made her feel some type of way.

But how could she tell Anna how she felt? How could she allow Anna's heart to be broken once more, knowing that even though they were with other people… they still had a heart to care and, in a way, love each other?

She shut the door, hearing her boyfriend come back down all dressed up. She faced the door, head against the wood.

"I checked on him, by the way." He groaned, stretching on the couch. "You should probably talk to him. He seems mad at you too."

Elsa nodded. "I know. I will." She didn't want to face him, but she could feel those eyes leering at her like a leopard.

"You know… I can tell the difference."

"What?"

Hans shrugged. "Oh, just… the way you look at her, and when she's gone, your sunshine smile is all gone. I know I'm not her, but… I also have a sense of dignity too."

This is ridiculous. "Hans, if you don't want to be here, you can leave, you know?" Elsa crossed her arms against the wall. Perhaps, she shouldn't have said that, but a burst of adrenaline and anger got the better of her.

"Leave?" The man stood tall and strong, his expression tensing up. "You think I'm saying all of this because I'm jealous?" He strode close to her, his height looming over her. And all Elsa could feel… was his presence as she cornered against the wall - the only thing that could keep her together. "You think I'm saying this because it's her? Your ex? No… Elsa, I don't want to do this in front of your son, beautiful… but you clearly don't understand how it feels to come here every day, just to see you brighten up a smile for her."

Elsa pushed the man's chest to give them some space. "That's unfair, Hans. She is Olaf's mother -"

"AND I AM YOUR MAN!" he yelled, grasping the woman's wrist, slamming it against the wall. The woman barely had time to wince and act in shock. And as much as this hurt Elsa… she wasn't going to let this hurt Olaf as well. She looked over his shoulder - watching Olaf's room, his door closed, knowing… that he would come out any second. She wasn't going to allow that to happen. "You think it's fair for me…? You can't give me the same attention as you do with your wife…" He tilted his head, leaning in.

God, please don't come out, please don't come out.

The woman began to breathe heavily, head tilted up when she felt lips on her neck, hand… reaching under Elsa's shirt on her waist. She shut her eyes, tears immediately squeezing out. Her muscles tensed. Nothing good was going to come out of this. "Hans… you know me," she gritted her teeth together.

"That's the thing… I don't know you," he whispered into Elsa's ear. "So now… you're going to let me know you better. Much better."