*adult content warning*

A few months ago, we met 21-year-old 'Jono' who said he could only last about 20-30 seconds before he'd cum. He'd experienced premature ejaculation ever since he lost his virginity, and it got to the point where he was even afraid to approach women in fear of embarrassment.

"Not being able to last long is pretty embarrassing sometimes. Sometimes you've only met the chick once, and they never want anything to do with you after that," he said.

Last time Jono was on The Hook Up, he got some tips on how he could last longer such as relaxing and 'getting out of his head', and since then things have really improved.

[I can now last] anywhere between 10-40 minutes - Jono

"[I feel] a lot better about myself – a lot more confident. I can go up and talk to girls and not even worry about what happens if I take her home. It's been great!" he told The Hook Up.

What's the secret?

Sex therapist and clinical psychologist Gemille Cribb explained that relaxing and getting out of your head was very important when having sex and preventing premature ejaculation.

"Most of the time it's about anxiety and it’s this cycle that feeds itself," she told The Hook Up.

"[When] someone is really worried about cumming too early, that anxiety creates tension in the body and then the more you put pressure on it, the more problems you have," she said.

It turns out many guys get into a habit of masturbating the same way and speeding through it to get it done, which can cause problems down the track when you're not alone.

"I think a lot of people do it very quickly rather than enjoying the journey; they rush to the conclusion. Starting to lengthen the process and enjoying the build up rather than just the orgasm can really help, and it puts you in the right headspace because when you're with a partner it's not all about the orgasm, it's about the pleasure of the build up and being with that partner.

Self pleasure is something that should be made a priority for everybody - Gemille Cribb

"Mix up your masturbation in other ways and use other pressures, other ways of touching yourself, so that you experience different sensations, different paces, and different ways of doing it just to help your body start to get different sense.

"It will help the anxiety and getting out of your head. Relaxing and breathing slowly and relaxing the muscles can help too.

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How long do guys usually last anyway?

While Jono says he now lasts anywhere between 10-40 minutes, don't stress if that's nowhere near where you or your partner lasts, as that is way longer than the 3-6 minutes men tend to take on average.

"Forty minutes is a bit extreme," said Gemille. "Sometimes when people haven't been lasting long they can get so overjoyed that they can go the other direction [and not be able to cum at all].

"But if you're lasting 40 minutes, you should check in with your partner and make sure they're still enjoying it."