A biologist in Toronto has made a huge medical breakthrough this week by discovering that there is a strong correlation between breathing air and staying alive.

“Many people just assume that breathing air is necessary for life. They don’t really understand the science behind it. When performing a super complex experiment that only smart people can understand, I was able to confirm that air is definitely required to stay alive. This is truly the most important discovery I’ve ever made regarding the human body.” – Canadian Biologist Marco Glassman on his big breakthrough in modern science

Mr. Glassman reiterated that only a really, really super smart person like himself could make such a big discovery.

Before returning to his lab, he took a few seconds to list some of his other big scientific discoveries in the last few years. Among those discoveries were the fact that water is wet and snow is definitely cold.

We need more people like Dr. Glassman to explain the intricacies of modern science to us. Keep up the good work, sir.

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