(Ed. Note: As the Stanley Cup Playoffs continue, we're bound to lose some friends along the journey. We've asked for these losers, gone but not forgotten, to be eulogized by the people who knew the teams best: The bloggers who hated them the most. Here is Colorado Avalanche blogger and old Puck Daddy buddy Jibblescribbits, fondly recalling the 2013-14 Minnesota Wild. Again, this was not written by us. Also: This is a roast and you will be offended by it, so don't take it so seriously.)

BY JIBBLESCRIBBITS

Today, I’m here to eulogize the Minnesota Wild Hockey Franchise.

Today, I fully empathize with Father McKenzie.

First, let’s all congratulate them on their 2014 NHL Western Conference Central Division Finals Appearance, the second best season in team history. All it took for this moderately successful season (by most other teams standards) was having a very good Blues team collapse down the stretch, allowing them to match up against the Avs, one of the worst possession teams in the league (not to mention a team playing without Matt Duchene and their best offensive defenseman due to a skate-by Cooke-ing).

Still, they were only able to barely squeak by in Game 7 OT.

Maybe in 11 more years the stars will align once again and everything will fall into place for another Cinderella run into the second round by upsetting a modestly favored opponent.

And yet, the comedy of this win is that, in a few short months, the team still won’t be remembered for winning. In another universe, this series could be redemption for their previous division champion team getting upset by the same Avs in 2008. It won’t be remembered for that, because no one cares. The series will ultimately be overshadowed by Nathan MacKinnon’s coming out party, Patrick Roy proving pulling the goalie earlier is better and Matt Cooke cementing himself as this generation’s Ulf Samuelsson.

No one outside their home state will remember or care about their third-ever series win.

Even with all this said, I fear I’m selling the team short, because this is a franchise that is truly remarkable in its ability to be inconsequential.

When fans around the league divvy up their season tickets, the games against this team are given to nieces or nephews who only get one game a season, or given to a local charity as a tax write-off. They, we, have more interest in seeing their team play the Carolina Hurricanes, Winnipeg Jets or Nashville Predators than sit through a boring game against a nameless, faceless hockey franchise.

Those tickets are like preseason tickets in that they are included to guarantee seats against teams people actually want to see.

If the franchise got up in the middle of the night and moved to Texas, no one outside the franchises’ home state would notice.

It’s time to come to grip with it, fans: The team is a filler franchise, a team cast into the league for no other purpose than to be the faceless dirty blonde that a notable competitor faces on the way to facing someone else.

Montage filler. Team Tommy:

View photos

We also won’t get into the trap hockey which the fans insist doesn’t happen anymore despite two-and-a-half home games against the Blackhawks that prove otherwise. There’d be even more evidence but no one cares enough about the regular season to dissect the teams’ system.

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