Actor Nicolas Cage attends 2012 Giffoni Film Festival photocall on July 18, 2012 in Giffoni Valle Piana, Italy. Photo: Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images

Here we are, everybody: They are rebooting the Left Behind series, and Nicolas Cage is now in talks to topline it. This is not a drill, nor a dream, nor a mock headline in Doug Ellin’s Entourage movie script. It’s real life, and it is a $15 million adaptation of the Christian-themed book series, and Nicolas Cage is your new Kirk Cameron. There is no director attached yet, but, like, fingers crossed for Werner Herzog or something.