Well, here’s a touching mother-daughter story that’ll make you scrub rubbing alcohol into your eyeballs while soaking in a tub full of boiling hot ammonia. What I’m saying is that you should check to make sure you have a lot of ammonia and rubbing alcohol on hand.

Meet 56-year-old Jessica and 22-year-old Monica, a mother and daughter (meaning, Jessica gave birth to Monica) who are so close that they share everything including peens. Jessica and Monica are known as the mother-daughter porn duo (NSFL) The Sexxxtons and they’ve been doing dudes on camera together for about a year now. HuffPo says that they confirmed that they are actually mother and daughter by checking their drives licenses and private Facebook pages.

Just like the other mother/daughter porn duo Elli and Desi Foxx, Jessica and Monica tell HuffPo (via Gawker) that they have rules like every mother and daughter who bone the same dude together should. Jessica says that they will have threesomes with a dude or another chick, but they won’t touch each other or kiss.

“We don’t have a problem doing two-on-one. We will have sex with one man, but not interact with each other. It’s not easy to do. Our lips never touch and that can be a problem when filming.”

Monica is the one who got them in the porn business. Monica dropped out of school in the 9th grade and after years of stripping and bartending, she met some people in porn and got her mom in the business first. Soon after her mom was humping sex parts on camera, Monica joined her and the rest is porn history.

Monica says that sure, sometimes she has suck dicks that taste like Palmolive, because dude had to wash it in the bathroom sink after sticking in her mom, but overall she loves doing fuck films with her mom.

“I enjoy the sex and I enjoy being with my mom. During the scenes, I think about how we’re going to be filthy rich.”

Ho enjoys sex and enjoys being with her mom so she put the two together? I like eating cupcakes naked and pinching my nipples while watching Property Brothers, but you don’t see me putting those two things together. Actually, scratch that, I’ve been there. And during scenes, shouldn’t bitch be thinking, “SANTO DIOS, I hope my mom’s twatty juices don’t drip on my face right now.”

P.S. – You probably guessed this after reading the words, “mother-daughter porn duo,” but they’re from Tampa, Florida. Oh, Florida, it’s always you.

P.P.S. – So many Lohan jokes, so little time.