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Haters would have you believe that Canberra is no more than a cog in the bureaucratic machine, a slave to the lamestream. This is false. While many of our suburbs, parks and streets have certainly been named after a politician or two (just the white and male ones), we're also pretty edgy. In fact, some of Canberra's street names are so edgy, so sought-after, that the signs have to be regularly replaced due to theft. "The street signs most commonly replaced due to theft or attempted theft fall into three main categories," a spokesperson for Transport Canberra said. "Streets with names of famous people, streets with names associated with iconic things or places (Ford Place or Holden Place) and streets with names that have a degree of double entendre (Iron Knob Street)." For no particular reason, I will focus on category three. With long-standing vendors like Adam & Eve and Hello Sexy plus other frequented businesses, Fyshwick has a unique reputation. But it's the street of the knob in all its metallic splendour which has helped endear this misunderstood suburb to the masses. Franklin becomes Dank-lin with this drool-inducing sandwich mecca of a residential area. At first, this street conjures sizzling visuals of mole rats and that weird beauty spot which always grows a thick, long strand of hair. But add the "de" and, I don't know, doesn't it take on quite a lovely French feel? Paris comes to Canberra's north-west. While the National Arboretum, the Ausralian War Memorial and Skyspace provide a strong aesthetic, have you really been to Canberra if you haven't been papped at Bogan Place? You'll want to pop on fully-enclosed shoes on this ACT street. I haven't been to this street - mainly because I don't associate with deviants who aren't me - and quite frankly, I don't need to. The very second I spotted this street on the map, the following images flooded my mind: newspapers with eyeholes cut out and military-grade binoculars at every window. Tell me it isn't true. Sure, it's a type of Australian tree - but we're still all thinking of derrière. Even though 2016 was the Year of the Butt and we should have all matured since then. Plumbers hate them! I do not doubt for a second that the streets running off Limestone Avenue in Ainslie are the masterful work of the Illuminati. From Ainslie Avenue to Ipima Street, the streets are in alphabetical order going north. Check Google Maps if you're feeling brave.

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