Fuck you, Nova Scotia

I'm sick of it.

I'm a 27-year-old Haligonian, north ender, diploma graduate of the Human Service: Disability Supports and Services Program at NSCC, currently enrolled in online courses via Cape Breton University to obtain a Bachelor in arts and community studies and overall a fucking steal of a human that you should be begging to stay in your province.

But you're not.

You're being a fucking douche. Every time you've taken to a soapbox in the last year has done nothing but add to the list of reasons why I want to get the fuck out of this province.

I know I am extremely fortunate. I've found a career before 30, something I am passionate about, something I love doing and I'm good at it. I also happen to be a minority within my field—a male support worker in the disability supports field—but you don't seem to care Nova Scotia.

You'd rather make my tuition...whatever the fuck CBU wants to make it next year.

You'd rather I bid farewell to my friends, family, Nova fuckin' Scotians who planted seeds in our shitty soil because there was a viable living to make in our film industry here.

You've charged me the highest power rates in my country.

You've got the best post-secondary education options on the planet, and you use it as a revolving door.

So I'm out. Fuck you. I'm going out west because my girlfriend and I will collectively make double what we would make here in a year. Yup, I'm dead serious, DOUBLE MUTHER FUCKAS. And since you've taught me how to look for the best deal my whole life, since you've gave me so many constant examples of what poverty looks like, what living off of assisted income looks like, what blatant racism looks like, I'm taking the money and I'm running. And I'm taking one of the best teachers you've produced with me. Yup, my girl's a teacher. We could both get work here—I'm working full-time right NOW—but fuck you. She's got a locked-up contract out west, we're just waiting for you to hand over your precious MSVU BeD. Then we're out of this bitch.

You're probably thinking, "Who the fuck is this guy?"

I'm the guy who is going to go clear my debt out west, save up to buy some shitty soil from you and get to business making change. I wish I could skip the paying-debt-off part, but you offer me no means of doing that in a timely fashion. I don't want you to know me personally, because my entrance will be slightly refined upon return, but currently I'm electing myself the voice of the pissed off.

If you're a politician in my province: Fuck you, do better. I know Megan has our back, but if I had to guess, I'm sure she'd admit she could do better. But at least she's in the ring.

If you're a young citizen here, GO VOTE YOU ASSHOLE. GET A FUCKING OPINION THAT MEANS SOMETHING. Life isn't that fucking hard guys, get your shit together and vote. It's the only way to make change happen. If you don't like the candidates, become one. And still vote for the lesser asshole of the bunch while you're not a candidate.

Fuck the Irvings, NS Power and all you rich motherfuckers who are killing my beloved Scotia. Stop turning my province into a retirement destination. PLEASE BE OFFENDED OLD PEOPLE. If you want us to teach you how to use the computer, stop giving me anxiety about taking care of you, your kids and my kids when I'm 45.

Fuck you Nova Scotia, I love you so fucking much and you just keep ignoring me, so I'm breaking up with you. Hopefully you can mature while I'm gone, and see that it was you who needed to change. Not me. I'm fucking awesome, and I'm going to go do what I love for the pay I deserve, somewhere else. —Parental Discretion Advised, Halifax

Correction

Last issue's cover story about the Nova Scotia Liberals' PR troubles ("Haters gonna hate," by Jacob Boon) quoted Barbara Emodi, who was described as an MSVU assistant professor specializing in political strategy and government communications. It turns out Emodi is also a former caucus communications director for the NDP, which might help explain both her academic expertise and her criticism of the Liberals. We are sorry this relevant bit of work experience wasn't included in the story.