Just like in real life, the hardest part about Tinder isn't building attraction or getting a woman interested in you – it's getting an interesting, lively conversation going. And we hate to break it to you, but your "hey" just isn't going to cut it. Women get many, many more matches than men, so your challenge is to stand out from the herd, not blend in with a bland opener. If you're struggling with this, don't worry; we're here to help.

Everyone wants to know how to message on Tinder. That’s the main reason that people are shy about using probably the best dating app there is. Contacting a total stranger for the first time (especially one who might sleep with you) is a high-pressure situation. And we all know the pain of matching with somebody hot, and then screwing up right away. You get all excited about your potential dream girl’s butt, and then you get rejected. But upping your Tinder game isn’t actually that hard, and we’re here to help.

The first thing you need is a selection of solid openers. You need to come out right away with something that’s going to distinguish you from the pack of other guys. Do not, I repeat, do not send somebody a message saying ‘sup’ or ‘hey sexy’, or anything like that. Fortunately, it’s not so hard to stand out, because most guys absolutely suck at Tinder. Every pretty girl has an avalanche of stupid messages. Be just a little different, a little unusual, and you’ll have a way better chance of connecting with someone cool.

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To help you out, we’ve put together a gallery of examples. I don’t recommend copying them word-for-word, because it’s possible that your potential Tinderella has seen them before. And it would be terrible if you tried to come off as original and ended up revealing yourself as a plagiarist. But take these as your Tinder opener inspirations. Take them and put your own twist on them or try something entirely new.

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Above all, you should be funny. You can be any kind of funny -- self-deprecating, absurd, whatever. You can even use puns on their name, if you must. Make your match laugh, and you’ll immediately improve your chances. Again, it’s worth keeping in mind that anyone you want to message is drowning in dull messages already. Be entertaining.

Also, be bold. I don’t mean you should write “wanna Netflix and chill” on the first message. There’s a very very slim chance that this kind of approach will work, but mostly you’ll just get laughed at and/or unmatched. But don’t hide your weird personality. Don’t be afraid to be outlandish, or even cocky.

However, I would recommend against straightforward flattery. If you’re going to compliment your match’s attractiveness, do it in a creative way. Every pretty girl knows they’re pretty, you don’t need to point it out.

Once you’ve got a conversation going, just relax. Act like you’re texting anybody. Keep it light and flirtatious. Don’t send anybody a novel-length spiel. Intense getting-to-know-you chats can wait until the first date happens. Remember that girls on Tinder have to be on the lookout for creeps. And nothing says “creepy” like “100 word text about your childhood.”

Ultimately, your goal should be moving to another medium as soon as possible -- you want to be texting instead of Tindering. So once you’ve made a connection, ask for her number. Once you get it, you’ve probably already won. You’ve graduated from the pool of Tinder matches. Congratulations.

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