After hours of working on that mother fucking bike, it's fixed. I am a genius, I am going to lie to everyone and say that Vinnie crashed it after drinking all that white wine we love to bond over so much. Anyway I am such an alcoholic sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder who I am feeling up, I pray it's Kelly but there have been some nights where I think it might have been Brian, but that's the most action he gets anyway so I hope he will be forever thankful. I never update and all of a sudden all of my band decide to update like two times a day so I figure I will give two times a month. I'll get better at it I've just been busy with the tour and with Kelly.



We have been dating for over a month and it's been great, I've never had a girlfriend that has actually admitted to be dating me, but really she is wonderful, she goes to Wendy's with me and we buy six things off the 99 cent menu and after that keeps adding up we just keep eating more and more until it costs more than a normal nice place would, not that I'm saying Wendy's isn't a five star fast food place. But now touring without her is lonely and when Chris Carraba dedicates songs to us it makes me want to give him a kiss then I realize what I just thought and feel rather homosexual. I need my girlfriend with me at all times. This is all Dan Estrin's fault. Kidding but what is with all this drama doesn't everyone know that Shakira is madly in love with me? I've tried to tell Vinnie this thousands of times but he normally just ignores what I am staying and stares towards my dick. I tell you I am the only straight one in this band, besides Jesse of course, but then again he also is very violent, but that turns me on in my men. See I could be so gay, but I'm not. I love Kelly. I need to go repeat that a few more times.



p.s. I am really short.