A young man studying at the University of Portsmouth was shocked to learn on Friday that the posters around his union featuring the words “the Patriarchy” weren’t advertising a band. It came as a big surprise to the student who was thinking about going to see the band and had been meaning to listen to them frequently on Spotify.

When asked how he found out, he told The Schooner that he had been looking for nude pictures of Emma Watson when he accidentally stumbled across a speech asking him to become a feminist. He said “It was about time someone invited me. Before then I really couldn’t see what was in it for me.” He has reliably informed his fellow student LADs that feminism is now for men too, “so they don’t have to worry so much.”

He is planning on doing his feminist research, starting with working his way through Beyonce’s back catalogue and watching the VMAs.

Despite his new found activism the student LAD was clearly upset about the loss of a potentially decent band. “I was sure I liked them on Spotify. I’m going to have to find them.” Failing that he vowed to set up The Patriarchy himself.

He admitted that he still doesn’t understand the posters telling him to “Smash the Patriarchy” because he’s never even seen it, but he very much looks forward to buying the Reclaim the Night album “whatever that is.”