Updates: “No longer Ecstatic” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “No longer Ecstatic” who wrote last month about her husband’s Ecstasy meltdown and the guilt she felt in hurting the relationship he had with his girlfriend (they have an open marriage). She wrote: “Several days after I found my husband by the toilet, I finally emailed her and told her that I was uncomfortable with their relationship […]. Things fell apart between Fred and this other woman after that. I have such a hard time not taking on the blame for that happening. I tell myself that I’m not the one who screwed that up, but that if I could have just kept her out of it from my end things would have been okay between the two of them.” Keep reading to see how they are doing.



I’m not going to waste time defending myself in this response. I did that toward the bottom of the comments on the original column (look for comments from Trina). I didn’t really take what you had to say to heart because you had made some assumptions that weren’t true. However, I really appreciated some perspectives I received from the comments section! As for how we are doing….things are plugging along. I’m still going to my counselor every couple of weeks, and I even got my husband to go to one of the appointments with me this last Friday. I can’t tell you how relieved I was when he walked out of that appointment and said, “That was certainly a more pleasant experience than the last 2 counseling experiences I’ve had. I’d be willing to go back to her to work on any issues that you and I have.” I’m sure that’s because we spent the appointment whipping my ass and not his, but it’s a good step. LOL! Thank you for posting my letter.



Thanks for the update. And I think continued counseling is a great idea. What happened to the other woman?

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If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].