MUMBAI: Turns out Mumbai isn't a bad place to retire. In a recent nationwide survey, the city has fared far better than other metros in treatment of

.

The survey, with 5,014 participants across 23 cities, shows that Mumbai is less prone to disrespecting, verbally abusing, beating, slapping, financially exploiting and neglecting its elders than Delhi and Chennai. Mumbai has emerged more compassionate with only 13% saying they had experienced

as opposed to Delhi’s 33%, Chennai’s 27% and Mangalore’s 47%. Also, it seems, fewer elders in Mumbai are likely to feel “disrespected” (58%) when their millennial children and grandchildren disappear into the digital rabbit holes offered by phones and computers than those down south in the tech hubs of Bengaluru (96%), Mangalore (99%) and Hyderabad (81%) and up north in Tier-II cities such as Amritsar (78%) and Kanpur (74%).

Released on the eve of the World

Abuse

Awareness

Day on June 15, the report by NGO HelpAge India aims to understand the extent of elder abuse in India, impact of social media and technology, and awareness about redressal avenues.

It found that 60% respondents confirmed the prevalence of

’ abuse in India and nearly 25% admitted to being victims of disrespect, verbal abuse and neglect. Elders perceive that they are mainly abused as their children want to live independently, do not like their way of living, treat them as a burden and lack resources to meet their needs. Property disputes were among the oft-cited issues. Incidentally, in this national survey that interviewed 2,495 men and 2,519 women, over 60% of the silvers said the quality time spent with their children and grandkids had declined with the increasing use of phones which many of them construed as a form of “disrespect”.

But over a quarter of Mumbai’s elders could not articulate what amounted to abuse. The national consensus seems to be that covert forms of abuse such as harsh words and neglect at the hands of sons and daughter-in-law is more widespread. “Many financially independent elders also own a house and their children live with them. But when they advise their children, it is treated as interference,” says Prakash Borgaonkar of HelpAge India. “Many elders in metros think they are being used for household activities and managing kids,” he added.

Besides, many of Mumbai's internet-savvy silvers confirmed that while social media has helped cement relationship with extended family members, it has truncated “quality time spent by kids with family”.

As far as elders reporting abuse to others or to an agency is concerned, at 21%, Mumbai seems to lag behind Delhi's 23%. But it is doing better than the national average of 18%. While many in Mumbai are aware of redressal mechansims such as approaching police and courts, Borgaonkar finds they prefer to resolve issues domestically for confidentiality.

NGO Dignity Foundation gets four-five cases of elder abuse on its helpline daily. “Most stem from property disputes,” says founder Sheilu Shrinivasan. “Cops refuse to take up domestic issues and when we ask elders to approach the tribunal, their kids refuse to appear.” D N Chapke of All India Senior Citizens Confederation (AISCCON), who has come across various cases of elders thrown out of their own homes, says, “Unless elders are better connected, we cannot hope to solve abuse.”