The AP reports that the NBA is eyeing "nickname jerseys" for at least one Nets-Heat matchup this season, when instead of last names on the back of the uniform, players will sport their nicknames. All we can say is it's a good thing Kris Humphries isn't with Brooklyn anymore.


It's a wonderful idea (to sell jerseys). Who wouldn't want a Miami jersey with "D-Wade" across the back, or "The Truth" in Brooklyn's home blacks (available for $299.95 at the NBA store)? The NBA will finally get to showcase its best player, monikered with his nickname of choice (buy more LeBron jerseys, you drones).

Players were asked to submit their nicknames to the league, even though the plan hasn't been finalized. Some are easy enough, like KG, AK-47, Birdman, Jet, Baltche, and Ray Allen, who says he'll go with "Shuttlesworth."

"It shows growth in our league and it shows we do adapt to what's going on around us," said Allen. "And we're still kids, playing a kids' game. Even though we're now men playing a kids' game, we still remember where we come from. Everybody had a nickname and it's a way to let the fans in a little bit more."


But I can't help but feel bad for the players who don't have obvious nicknames. What of Joe Johnson, a perfectly talented player who never quite earned a sobriquet? What of the depth guys? Don't Mason Plumlee and James Jones deserve something cool on their jerseys too?

And then there are the trademark issues which ruined one of the best potential jerseys ever created: Shane Battier wanted his to read "Batman," but the NBA can't clear it with Warner Brothers. Instead he'll wear "Shane-O," or possibly "Horsetronaut."

This is pretty much assured to happen, with the NBA testing the waters by leaking the news today. So back the fuck off: that first "Super Cool Beas" jersey is mine.