When you first start off as a camgirl, the world seems to be your oyster, yet you have no idea how to go about doing anything. You watch other girls, you take ques from them on how to run your shows, your profile, your videos, your… life, essentially. Because that’s what camming becomes. Your life. Your personality seeps into everything you do, and you find it easier to be yourself than anything else. Yet there are parts of your life that you want private, there are things that you don’t want to share. Still, there are people who want more, they want to know your day-to-day activities, they want to know more than you want to give.



I am a camgirl. I am a stripper.



I am a face, a body, and persona that you come accustomed to seeing, to interacting with, to watching for all the faps. I show you what you want to see. Nothing more. You fall in lust with that image of me, that little 600p pixel image of a person you think that you know oh-so-completely, when most of my life is a mystery. And maybe that’s what you like, the mystery. Yet I have all these people coming at me with “I love you” phrases, with grand ideas that we will be together. And why? Because you’ve given me enough money at some point far, far down the road? That is not love. You cannot love me, you love the idea of me, the idea that you’ve been shown, the idea that has been built. Sex on wheels, devil-may-care, crazy bitch that everyone wants to ride, but not take home to their parents.



But here is the thing. I don’t show you my bad days when I can’t hold it together, I don’t let you listen when I let out a fart in my sleep, I don’t show you my face until I’ve woken, washed it, and brushed my teeth. No, I didn’t “wake up like this”. I don’t show you the wart on my elbow, I don’t talk to you on the toilet, you haven’t seen me with snot running out of my nose, dripping down my face, makeup smeared, looking a hot mess when I’m sobbing out my soul. You haven’t seen me screaming so loudly that my face is bright red and there is rage in my eyes. You haven’t had a door slammed in your face, you haven’t had a real fight with me and come out of it okay. Because we aren’t those people. We are what we are on the internet, and that’s what it is.



Friendship. There is a word people use a lot, and I myself have as well. Yet when I look at the conversations I’ve had online, when I see what some of the people who call me their friends have said to me repeatedly (insults, fights over nothing, telling me how to live my life)… that’s not friendship. Friends share everything, and they may not be okay with how things are, but they accept it and move on. That’s a real friend.



And after what I’m about to say, I might not have any of you left. And that’s fine. Because I need real friends with real support, not people who have some idea that isn’t real.



And if there is one thing I’ve always wanted to be, it’s a real person.



Yes, I’m real. I have feelings, I have outside things that affect my life, not all to do with my job, even though camming has taken up such a huge part of that life the past 5 years.



I didn’t know what I was doing when I first started, nobody does. I was very young. I took advice from other camgirls, even advice from members at the time who knew my situation. And I rolled with it, not realizing what a devastating effect that would have on my personal life.



Every camgirl is single, right? That’s the idea. Come online, chat with thousands of beautiful, funny, energetic, sex-crazed women and find…I don’t know what people think. Love? That seems to be the word that pops up more frequently than most. Love takes more than tokens and pixels. Love takes work, and not many people can take the heat. I’ve tried not to perpetuate the idea that people on MFC can “get with me”. I have listed past date raffles as NON SEXUAL, yet there are still those who think that they can change my mind… and go crazy when they don’t. I guess in a way I’m happy that the policies on the site changed, as I won’t have to deal with that ever again. That’s why I felt this was the time to say something that I’ve held back, despite wanting to let it loose hundreds of times, just to be done with the lies. Because if there is one thing I hate more than anything, it’s being lied to.



So here it goes.



It will never happen.



I will not date anyone from MFC. It will not happen. I will not have sex with you, I will not date you. I will be more than happy to take off my clothes, shake my titties, dance around, and put a dildo in my pussy.



I know that the best time to make this post is not now, but if not now, then when? Keep pushing it back? Keep lying? Keep pretending? No. No longer. The mental strain that things like this put on any person is tiring and difficult. When I get offline after a long day on cam, and I have someone who is obsessed with the idea they have of me, and angry that I don’t reciprocate, and starts some fight with me… how do you think my mood is? Oh, it’s bad. I’m a firecracker, and it sets me off.



You can call me all the names you want, you can write me out of your life, you can cry and kick and scream, and you’re entitled to that. And you know what? If that will be your attitude, then that’s fine with me, because I don’t need any level of childish immaturity on a site that is my place of work, my source of income, my JOB. So before you try to come start anything with me, just keep in mind that you will be instantly banned from every single social media platform without any second chances, because I will have zero tolerance for it.



I also know that some camgirls, one in particular, who gave out my legal name and home address to an ex-tipper, will do her little victory dance… but what are you celebrating? The fact that you attempted to destroy someone’s life because you were so unhappy with your own? That’s very sad, and I feel sorry for you.



If you want to be happy that I am happy, and support me in spite of all this, then I owe you more thanks, more admiration, and more gratitude than anyone else. I know this will be hard for some people, and it’s difficult for me to even write this. I feel like I shouldn’t have listened to all those people telling me which lies to spin, which way to spin them… and why did I ever? I never gave pretenses of being available to tippers… but in a way I did, and that was never what I intended.



It’s terrifying to be threatened with information by other camgirls who only look to push their own career forward in the most toxic ways. Nobody wants their dirty laundry aired because there is a side to our lives that is supposed to be private. However, I’ve been threatened and had this information used against me so many times, that I just don’t care anymore. So many camgirls I have met, shove an image of being single and available, even though I know for a fact that they are not, and have met their significant others. And if that is something that they want to push, good on them, but if you think I’m the only one, then think again. It’s not my place to put someone’s secrets out there, even though some of the girls who have used these things against me have the same secrets.



If you are looking for a fun place to hang out, to chat about your day, to hear about mine, to see something sexual, to hang out and laugh, to masturbate, to play games… that’s great. I’m like an interactive strip club with more laughs. But if you’re looking to date a woman, a real life woman, MFC is not the place for you. You’ll get told all the pretty little lies you want to hear to keep the tokens flowing, but I have never met a camgirl who would even consider dating someone from MFC, and even if I was single, as I wrote earlier, I would not either. If you’re looking for love, go out, live your life, meet people who live near you, who have similar interests, who have lives you can truly, wholly be a part of. Love is not lust, though the two are often confused. It’s not easy to find someone, but when you do, it will make you happier than any idea of some pixelated stripper. You should never have to give someone money to make them love you, and if that is what you’re doing, you will never find someone who truly wants to be with you and give you their attention.



I appreciate all of you who have been kind to me over the years, I truly do. I appreciate your tokens, your conversation, your silly pictures on snapchat, the support you’ve given me throughout my career, my photoshoots, everything. If I could find a better way to thank you, I would, but I’m not sure how. I know that many of you will not want to talk to me again, and I respect that. I know that many of you won’t even be able to come online in my room anymore, and I respect that to. I know this will be devastating to my camming career, but this is more important to me than rank and tokens. Do I love a good ranking month? Sure, I do. But I’m going to do it because you guys want it for me, not by leading people into an idea that I’m single.



I am seeing someone, right now, and it’s none of your fucking business. Past boyfriends? Past flings? Doesn’t matter. None of your business. It doesn’t matter. I will not date any of you, I will not “be with you”, I will not have sex with you. I know I’ve said it, but I’m saying it again. I am unavailable. Even if I was single, I am unavailable to you.



I hope you’ll understand.



But if not, I also understand.



Thank you for reading, I hope you read it thoroughly and understand the message I’m trying to send. I do appreciate you, I do like you (most of you :P), I’m not quitting camming, I will be here if you have questions (except details about the person I’m seeing), and I’ll be standing by.



Molly