If you have any issues with depression and suicide as a topic, this is not the post for you. As that’s… all this episode is. We’re not going anywhere else but there. That’s the episode.

But there are two other plots to talk about outside of this, so the structure of this blog will be different, by a little bit. I’ll start with the side plots in Part 1, then the main plot, then the side plots in Part 2.

Interwoven Stories

So more than just about any other episode this season, all plots interweave at all points. The close second on this is Scream, where events in one plot were spurred on by actions in another. Cam & Dallas’s plots are interwoven from the start, and Eli’s plot in part 2 is a direct reaction to events in part 1.

This also allows them to ‘cheat’ narrative structural things Degrassi does in regards to POV. Mostly the audience follows the perspective of one character, and only knows what they know. Here we ‘know’ what others know due to the close knit plots. It means we know Dallas will strike out with Alli because of a scene in Cam’s narrative. When normally that scene would be about if Dallas wins the girl, we now know it’ll be about what Dallas does after she rejects him.

Little things like that are fun in episodes as meticulous as this. In Next Class this is where episodes like HugeIfTrue and Fire get their luster, as the narratives are completely bound together.

B Plot (Part 1) – Mike Dallas

This is our first Mike Dallas plot, we’ve known him for a while, but he’s never properly been the POV character. Which was a good choice overall, he got to be a fairly positive force in the B Block of episodes (21-30). So he’s been separated enough from his antagonistic first introduction. And his plot is purely understandable to anyone who screwed up but likes a gal (or guy).

This is our first showing of Dallas being even half-way vulnerable. Not with Alli, with Fiona. Fiona as a girl who won’t be into him is one he can open up to freely, while he can’t be that vulnerable with Alli. As he wants to impress her, so he ups his swagger. Of course with his boys he has to be all business, all control.

This plot’s conclusion is more of a set-up to his other plot. Alli calls him out for his behavior, without knowing the full story. Dallas doesn’t mount a defense on Alli’s criticism of him, he accepts everything he did with Cam and just rejects the idea they matter between him and Alli. Which in Dallas’s world is true, fun is fun, business is business. What he does with his hockey team doesn’t express how he acts with those he loves. Because, again, Dallas’s concern isn’t Cam: it’s the team.

Dallas loses the girl because of an action he didn’t think of, that’s how this part of his story ends. Which is how it should, really. Who you are is not reflected in your best moments, nor your worse, but both of them taken together. And Dallas can’t pretend who he was with Cam isn’t also a part of who he is. Which is the set-up for later.

C Plot (Part 1) – Eli Goldsworthy

So Eli’s needed in this episode for later, right now we’re doing a ‘harmless’ C plot where Eli accidentally does that thing Eli always does. Eli is possessive and jealous, and this behavior is not okay. This isn’t cute, nor romantic, and the episode treats it as bad… and then undermines that by how their apology goes but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Sharing space with someone (a home, a locker) changes things, specifically it removes a layer of illusion and mystery. Eli isn’t aware of this, he should be as his hoarder past would make it clear that what you see, and what’s beyond what you see, can be as different as night and day. Which would have been a great plot, focus on how Clare’s stuff in Eli’s locker is too much. They bicker, fight, and eventually come to an even 50/50 split.

Or Dave can give Eli the idea to look in Clare’s diary. Now, Eli does so because of his own hubris… after Dave goads him a bit. Which gives us the meat of this plot, Clare once thought she may have been in love with someone else when she and Eli were not together.

I cannot stress this enough were not together.

To anyone in my audience reading this, if your girl (or guy) has been into anyone before you, that isn’t cheating, you can’t get mad about it. You can be a bit saddened that you weren’t there for that part of their life, but please be chill.

Back to the plot, this is a solid showing of Clare and Eli being good together, but not quite perfect together. It took 0.5 seconds for Eli to do a dumb thing, and Clare overstepped off screen. Eli lied to Dave (and himself) that this was fine, he and Clare should have talked out sharing a space more than they did, this is the lesson. It shows Clare and Eli both have huge blindspots. But not at seeing past each other.

A great ‘they’ve been dating a while’ moment is Clare and Eli both pick up on the subtle clues in body language and actions as to what’s going on. Eli realizes Clare’s mad when he walks up, Clare sees the way Eli looks at Jake and realizes he had to have read the journal.

This plot’s proper conclusion is with the apology in the cold open of part 2. Eli apologizes and explains himself, Clare explains herself (not that she needs to, but the openness is a solid conclusion)… you know, before this plot becomes something else. Technically it is Eli owning his mistakes but it also isn’t good because the plot needed to change due to the episode, so we can’t explore how much Clare holds Eli breaching her trust in her mind.

A Plot (Part 1) – Campbell Saunders

So this plot isn’t going to be happy, Cam does make his own choices and is a fully involved member of the plot’s momentum… but its also about what everyone around him gives him to work with.

Now, to be clear, nobody can be blamed for anything. As they aren’t people this is fiction, and the narrative was crafted to go exactly where it went. And, each member of the narrative can’t know what’s in Cam’s head. So this isn’t a game of blame, this is a game of understanding the moving parts.

Cam’s goal is happiness, which he’s pinned on Maya. Meaning that whatever can hurt Maya, or take Maya away, is a threat. Which is why Cam’s fixation on beating Zig happens immediately after Tristan labels Zig an enemy to all. It’s one of those catty pieces of Tristan dialog that seem cute until you think about it (see: Notes).

Which undercut Dallas’s one good exchange with Cam in the episode. It sets the stage for the next Cam scene, ball hockey, and hitting Zig in his pretty, pretty face. The editing here is good too, we get a full display of where Cam’s mind is: Maya. Cam just going off, based on the insecurity in his mind, is a warning sign nobody seemed to see.

Zig’s concern isn’t with Cam, because Cam punched him (see: Notes). Maya’s a freaked out kid who watched her boyfriend just start wailing on her best friend. She’s scared more than she’s angry, thank you Olivia Scriven’s expressive adorable face. Simpson does schedule Cam to talk to someone, but that’ll be a week late.

Dallas is… trying to protect the team, which isn’t the same as protecting Cam. At first it is, don’t let Cam get benched, but then we get to them in the hallway. Dallas’s concern, his only concern, is the team. He tramples all over Cam’s feelings for the team’s needs. This is Dallas’s version of love, he is doing it for his love of the other players and their futures. His duty as captain, which isn’t wrong but it certainly isn’t kind. And absolutely not what Cam needs, and definitely has an impact in where Cam goes.

Which leads us to our first actual scene supporting Cam. Alli didn’t see the fight, so she has no reason to be freaked out (like Maya). She has no vested interest, all she sees is a dopey farmboy far from home and freaked out by something. She… helps as best she can, her motivations are absolutely pure. But it has a caveat I gotta hit on. Alli does give Cam a focus, but it’s the sort of focus that won’t help him in the long run. Again, she can’t know what’s fully going on, but I am mapping how Cam gets to the end here. It is a good contrast moment to Dallas’s ‘tough love’ (which was neither loving, nor very useful).

Maya’s hesitation isn’t a lack of love, merely a show of Maya’s being young and definitely freaked out. But as Cam is relatively normal during their two interactions (his showing up + his staying), they pretty quickly move into a space of being kids. There isn’t a ton to say about this scene other than Cam calling Maya his hoot. In the context of the scene he isn’t lonely while she’s around. Which puts into the narrative how much of his happiness is rooted in her. A very important beat in Cam’s plot.

Which… is why Zig attacking that makes it all fall apart. Cam oscillates wildly from destructive to dopey and cute. And a lot of those shifts are due to his taking in the words of others. He’s happy and childlike with Maya, he’s weak and pathetic with Dallas, he’s aggressive and violent with Zig. Cam made Maya the center of his world, Alli doubled down on that concept. His night with Maya made him feel better.

“You know, it just sucks that Maya’s gonna have to deal with it. And if you cared about her, at all, you’d get out of her life now… forever.”

Maya is, without any understatement, all Cam cares about, and the idea he could hurt her… Leads him to hurting her. Just- not the way he thought. Zig picked exactly the right way to attack Cam. And that was the last idea of who he was he took in.

The goal here was to take us through Cam’s last day, show us all the people that played a part in what he did. Not to explain what he did, but to put us next to know what he’d experienced. It also lets us put the Part 2 plots into a context, because Cam’s plot doesn’t go forward from here. What we get next is how everyone responds, based on who they were to him, and what they did to him.

A Plot (Part 2) – Maya Matlin

Maya’s plot technically begins with the last scene of Part 1. No dialog, just a look of concern on her face. And the lingering question that bridges us from before we know, to when we do know.

The first scene in part 2 with Maya is a slow build of pieces, the audience already knows ‘something’ happened. But as Katie and Maya’s scene moves forward more and more items come into the background to make it clear that ‘something’ is more serious than we thought. And then the French teacher sending Maya and Katie to the office without explanation, which is weird but the look on her face tells you what we need to know.

So this is the payoff to something established way back in the first episode of the season. Which matters now, and didn’t before. Maya’s not expressive when shocked. Olivia is expressive whenever she wants to be, but when Mo gave her a spot in his band we got ‘this is my happy face.’ And now, when she’s told Cam is dead… we get a similar lack of expression. This isn’t that Maya isn’t feeling anything, just that those feelings are deep inside her and not quite at the surface (and won’t be for a while). The mood is different, the camera hangs on this one longer than in Come As You Are.

Katie reacts almost instantly to the news. Putting the pair into a nice useful contrast. It also helps to have Katie react to Maya asking to practice, instead of facing anything. Meanwhile Maya playing is where we see her start to express, not as much as anyone else. Maya playing is also their out to get a montage of reactions, which works on two fronts.

Cello is hella depressing. And Everyone else’s reactions contrast to Maya as well. (The voiceover is the PSA for the episode. It’s not useful in narrative but is useful for any teenager watching dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts.)

So Maya’s arc words for this block happen between her and Katie. “I don’t know, its not like I’ve ever been the girlfriend of the guy who killed himself before.” Maya’s first boyfriend, her first love, is dead. This whole plot, hell this plot and Maya’s next plot, are about how she has no idea what to do here. She doesn’t know what to think, say, if what she’s feeling is right. Is it okay to feel that way? Every time Maya’s presented with something, she doesn’t know.

The other key detail here, about Maya, is she solves things. Maya doesn’t absorb her feelings, she looks at what’s there and tries to fix it. Go back to Maya’s past plots, Maya’s actively doing things. She’s a forward force of change on anything ‘wrong.’ She looks too young, bra inserts. Tris wants a boyfriend, let him keep lying to Cam. Cam’s not in the mood, throw your shirt at him. Maya constantly tries to fix things, and she’ll keep doing this throughout every season but Next Class 3.

This can’t be fixed, so she fixates on what can be. Her audition. Maya does not understand how to just feel things. Which leaves her just- stuck, going nowhere. Which feels very wrong in comparison to normal Maya, a Maya who is in her element. Which is good for this plot, as it makes her scenes feel jarring and wrong.

And the last detail is Maya doesn’t know how to be pitied, she has next to no reaction to Marisol genuinely feeling sorry about Cam. She blows up at Tori for trying to make up with her today. Something happened near her and now she’s at the center of things without her call. Which… we’ll come back to, next week, you know the episode.

“People keep saying do whatever I feel, but what I feel’s wrong because…”

Maya’s a mess, she’s not presenting as a mess like Dallas who blew up, broke a display, and drank a half-dozen beers on the roof. But she’s got too many things to feel, and too many people telling her what to do. Zig asking how she’s laughing, Tori telling Maya she didn’t mean that, Katie telling Maya she’s scaring her. They’re all pushing Maya to be what they think she should be.

What Maya didn’t get to say privately, to just Zig, is she felt betrayed. So she says it to the whole school instead. Now, hot take, Maya’s feeling this way isn’t wrong. She’s a fourteen year old who just got dumped by suicide (by her point of view), she’s sad, and alone, and angry, and hurt all at once. And wishing she could have done more. And she’s gotta feel all of that while everyone steps over themselves to be there for her. And their ‘being there’ for her is them demanding she act a certain way, do certain things, and throw her feelings in a woodchipper.

And the way the show expresses Maya’s torrent of feelings isn’t at the vigil, that’s Maya getting frustrated at the world and where she is. It’s when she makes up with Tori, someone who isn’t pushing Maya to be anything (anymore) and Maya finally let’s herself be sad. A day after, and not without taking back her other feelings. And… well, she has Hoot with her.

Because as long as she’s got Hoot, she isn’t alone.

…I’m going to lie to all of you and say I didn’t start crying while writing this. I’ll just… compose myself and get back to this plot in the Final Thoughts section.

B Plot (Part 2) – Mike Dallas

Dallas starts in Maya’s opening scene asking about Cam, there’s no apparent animosity in his voice so he might be looking to apologize. Fallout of his talk with Alli. But we’ll never get to know.

The more interesting scene is Dallas in the room with everyone else. This scene is both a showing of a cascade of various reactions (see: Notes), and Dallas’s mind not handling what happened. But his is reactionary, its him listening to everyone and feeling worse for it. Once we move through everyone’s direct reactions, we get the real good moment. The camera focuses on Mike Dallas when Connor says ‘so why did he do it,’ and the camera stays there as everyone talks the why, and what else he could have done.

This is doing two jobs. First, this is externalizing what’s in Dallas’s head. These are Dallas’s thoughts, just being said by everyone else. Because where Dallas goes next is because of these thoughts. However, Degrassi doesn’t ‘break’ realism (in the sense that we only see or hear reasonable things to see or hear, save Alli’s hallucinations in I Want it That Way) so they have to be clever presenting it. And this does the job, an amazing job of it honestly.

Dallas, when he snaps, does two things. he throws his bandanna in the trash (Cam asked off his spirit week team), and throws a garbage can into an Ice Hounds display (Cam wanted off the team, Dallas called him selfish for it). Dallas is attacking the very things he did to hurt Cam, because he can’t do anything else. Because his screw up happened, and he can’t go back to fix it.

Which is why Alli trying to comfort him doesn’t work. Dallas yelling at Alli, however, isn’t about Alli. He starts with ‘we,’ then when Alli gets defensive lists what ‘she’ failed to notice.

“You knew he had problems. He was crying, he was upset. Why didn’t you do something?”

Dallas knew he had problems. Dallas knew he was crying. Dallas knew he was upset.

And he did nothing.

If you wanted a master class in externalizing subtext, here you go. That did it. As much as Dallas was big and loud, so much of that scene was about what also wasn’t being said (or was being said in a way that obfuscated the true meaning).

So while this plot is separate from the ‘Dallas wants to date Alli’ plot in Part 1, it does bookend with an element of Part 1: Fiona. I said in Dallas’s part 1 he can vulnerable in front of Fiona, she’s not a girl he’s trying to impress nor one of the guys. So she’s the only person the writers could have on the roof with him. Let him say his piece, and she’s there. It’s also a callback for another element (see: Notes).

This is also a subtle set-up for Dallas’s big reveal down the line.

Dallas’s element here is facing his own actions in this plot. He’s more responsible for Cam than say Zig, or Maya. Because Dallas took his role of Captain to heart. So that he failed any of them is more the point than his yelling at Cam. He apologizes to Alli for yelling at her, showing he’s learned his lesson of his actions having consequences. They also show a small but good moment with Fiona to close out his story.

His story honestly could have used more exploration, Maya’s grief with Cam got woven into her every plot in Season 13 (subtly), Dallas’s feelings about Cam got buried between this and the start of S13 derailing. And honestly there was way more of a shot to open this redemption plot up. But this is honestly great.

C Plot (Part 2) – Eli Goldsworthy

So… Eli’s is a callback to Season 10 twiceover. His plot is about Julia, and its about Drop the World. See, Eli’s thing has been death, that’s been his motif since he first showed up stepping out of a goddamn hearse. So he has nothing to do with Cam, and Cam isn’t his problem. His problem is death itself.

Dave asks him how anyone’s head could get there, and Eli’s been there. He drove his hearse into a wall over a girl. Jake asks of his garden is going to be haunted, and Eli responds with the overdramatic ‘just me.’ If Maya is about loss, and Dallas is about guilt, Eli’s is just about death.

He’s having an existential crisis because death always finds him. Of course… this is a plot we’ll come back to later. As in this plot isn’t even done yet, this is our lead into Ray of Light where Eli has to fully confront his emotions on this topic.

This is a plot not yet concluded, so I can’t really go in depth here. Yet. Wait a few days.

Final Thoughts

Eclare being dramatic in Part 1 aside, everything else is a tightly wound interwoven tapestry of sadness that I love. The characters do the wrong things to lead the story along for the right emotions. Not reason, reason has little to do with this story. Everyone, and every act, is driven forward by the characters’ feelings. Cam’s suicide is predicated on his own desires, and fears.

The fallout is very passive, on the parts of our POV characters. This is the right break in Degrassi’s normal structure. If you follow me on twitter (Link) you might have seen me and a fellow Degrassi fan and talented scriptwriter James go on about Dallas’s being passive in one scene. Maya and Eli are also passive in this, most of the way. Eli’s an active party in Ray of Light, while Maya becomes an active participant at the vigil.

But all three POVs are reacting to where they are, which is not how a Degrassi POV character works. The point of view character always pushes the plot forward (see: Notes), making the choices that lead to their own salvation (or destruction). There are the occasional pitfall or twist, but none of these plots had a twist, Dallas sat and did nothing while the others talked, Katie decided Maya should talk at the vigil, Eli wanders the episode lost in his own feelings.

And this is a good break to the rules. It’s only wrong to accidentally break the rules. When you know the rule, you know why the rule exists, you get to boldy go and break them (see: Notes). Because you know the impact of that broken rule is worth the endeavor. Dallas and Maya needed to respectively wander lost in their own heads before coming up for air. Before Maya blamed Cam for his suicide, and Dallas ended up alone on the roof.

The only changes I can think of for this episode aren’t in this episode. There are a few characters that simply never properly look in the mirror over this, and the chance to do so would have been in the last eight episodes of Season 12. Even if they could give them plots in S13 it wouldn’t have worked.

Now I need to go, um, wash my face. For no reason at all.

Notes: Bianca confirming Drew is back at school concludes Drew’s season arc. Drew’s exile ends here and his one last plot is to set him up for Season 13.

Jake wearing his bandanna as an ascot is both horrible and charming. His being there to be the final push for Eli to do the bad thing was a solid choice.

Katie’s ‘you okay’ before leaving Maya with Cam says that she’s treating Maya more like an adult than in the earlier blocks.

Tristan – So the thing here is what was Tristan’s motive for warning Cam? It wasn’t to protect Maya, Tristan is sided with Tori in throwing shade at Maya. They’ve done nothing to say he cares about Cam since Tris’s crush+catfish fell flat. So that leaves what is usually Tristan’s motive (starting S13 on) – hurting someone. He wants Zig to lose.

It plays with the Tris we get later. He already was on board with hating Zig from Zig’s first episode, and here we are. Nothing but malice.

Zig – So Zig smiles when Maya tells Simpson Cam started the fight, like he’s won something. And while Cam was the acting party in the scene on the steps, goading Zig in, Zig lays into Cam about how Maya will get hurt by his being a psycho. Zig’s goal, is still, Maya. The only way I can read his smile in Simpson’s office is that he ‘won’ Maya, and his anger that Maya forgave Cam has to be read with that.

His motives aren’t as selfish as Tristan, but they’re pretty damn selfish. Like Zig’s Maya-based motives always are.

Peanut Gallery – Connor’s autistic spectrum is showing with his not getting it. Jenna and Becky are various levels of ‘don’t care’ to ‘blame the victim.’ Fiona isn’t involved one way or another, and is just there to set-up her later scene. Mo is awkward and failing to lighten the mood, and Marisol… is honestly the most emotionally healthy of the bunch and I feel real bad for all I said about her a decade ago.

Fiona & the Roof – Fiona was on the roof when she was in crisis back in Season 10. This is her coming full circle being the one to help someone else. Which is a nice touch.

Degrassi Protagonists – Characters like Emma and Maya? Who overload their respective eras? They do that because they are characters built to ‘fix’ things. Emma’s a self-defined activist, Maya’s got a hero complex from her first episode made worse by the guilt over Cam. Comparatively speaking, while Miles can be active… a lot of the time Miles would rather get high and not act.

Split Infinitives – Generally speaking you don’t put a word between ‘to’ and your ‘verb,’ grammatical minds frown on such a thing. Except, of course, sometimes the sentence is stronger with this choice. For instance ‘to boldly go’ is a part of the opening credits narration of Star Trek: the Original Series (and the Next Generation). Which is explaining the joke of me using a split infinitive while talking about purposefully breaking rules.

And, because I wanted a Star Trek reference.