Know Thy Narcissist

1. Hell hath no fury like that of a narcissist.

2. Whatever you know to be right, the narcissist will scream from the highest mountain you are wrong.

3. Don’t ask the narcissist their age, no matter what they tell you, their true age is 2 – the year known for temper tantrums.

4. Don’t ever, ever, ever, ever tell anything to a narcissist in confidence because they’ll tell everyone they know.

5. If you enjoy being lied to all the time then make a narcissist your best friend.

6. If you want to see a narcissist go into a tailspin, tell them a truth about themselves.

7. Compliment the narcissist, even if you have to lie your rear end off.

8. To kill two birds with one stone, tell a narcissist your enemy is spreading rumors about them.

9. Don’t suggest therapy or a self-help group to a narcissist, they are already perfect and know everything.

10. If you want to keep all of your belongings and money, don’t let a narcissist in your home – ever!

11. If you loan anything to a narcissist, it was theirs anyway.

12. If you do anything for a narcissist, they are doing you a favor.

13. A narcissist is like the Pope, everyone in their presence is blessed.

14. If you give a narcissist a dollar, you’ll owe them two.

15. If a narcissist gives you a gift, be sure to get a receipt.

16. If you don’t like a narcissist, it’s no big deal because they didn’t like you first.

17. Narcissists are like teenagers, they stay bored their entire life.

18. A Freudian Slip to a narcissist is the truth.

19. What goes in one ear of a narcissist, never went in there to start out with.

20. If all else fails – tell the narcissist you have a deadly, infectious, and incurable disease which is known to be airborne. It’s called speaking the truth.