Movie Talk

Ranking Every Ernest Film (and More) With a Splash of Magic

The most comprehensive Ernest film rankings of all time!

Just imagine if Ernest had his own Twitter… LOL! I digress…

Vern! Vernon, open up! …Guess what?! The internet is lettin’ me — Ernest P. Worrell, thespian extraordinaire — have my very own ranking system for all my movies! I cain’t believe it, Vern! So grab some of that there punch yer so found of and let’s get to readin’, knowhutimean?!

Since I was a kid in the 80’s, I have been a huge fan of the Ernest movies. But if you’re not so familiar with them, you might be surprised to learn there are 9 total films, a 13-episode children’s television series, multiple comedy specials, an indie film with an Ernest cameo, and thousands of Ernest commercials that were broadcast in local markets across the USA (and probably a lot more). Needless to say, actor Jim Varney (the guy who played Ernest), John Cherry (creator, owner, and director of the films), and the rest of the Ernest Brain Trust were extremely prolific during their run.

These rankings are written with the hope that someone unfamiliar with the Ernest universe can have an idea about what to expect in the film catalog and where they should start. To be different from other pages that rank the nine Ernest films, I also include the children’s series Hey Vern, It’s Ernest!, the indie film Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam, two comedy specials full of Ernest bits called Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain and Your World As I See It (which I will count together as one item), and the comedy special Hey Vern It’s My Family Album. And to be clear, this is an article about the ever-optimistic Ernest P. Worrell, so in that spirit I will try to stay as positive as possible even with my least favorite of the rankings.

On top of that, each ranking includes a “Magic Meter,” which is a subjective ranking of stars (*****) to indicate how much Ernest movie magic exists in that film. Think of it like a ‘Disney effect’ — heart, lasting emotional impression, story, fantastical elements, and comedy all wrapped into one. The highest a film can get is 10 *’s, and the lowest is 1 *. These do not necessarily correlate with the film rankings so one movie could be ranked higher but still have less magic in it than a film ranked lower.

You’ve got my full underdeveloped attention, Vern.

Alright, enough talk! Buckle-up (but don’t stare directly at the passenger while the car is still moving) because we have 13 totally subjective Ernest film rankings to cover in the most comprehensive Ernest rankings of all time!

#13 Ernest Goes to Africa

The irony of ranking something I love so much is having to start my ranking system here at #13 with Ernest Goes to Africa. It is the third of the 4 straight-to-VHS Ernest movies, which were the last Ernest movies to be made.

Ernest Goes to Africa poster (1997)

Ernest Goes to Africa feels like it is supposed to be the Indiana Jones of the Ernest films, and while that sounds cool, I don’t recommend it to anyone other than hardcore Ernest fans. There are a few funny moments that capture the original feeling of Ernest, like when he creates a hugely unnecessary outfit full of trinkets while using that classic, cocky, robotic Ernest voice. But by this point in the Ernest timeline, it feels like the once plentiful Ernest pixie dust was so low that you’d have to turn the bottle upside-down and smack the side to get the last little droplets of magic out of it. But I should also add this — if you google Ernest Goes to Africa it shows that 85% of viewers liked the film, so don’t let my pixie dust-glass half-empty opinion stop you. If you love Ernest you might like this film too (and I hope that you do).

Here’s an interesting nugget of thought — according to Ernest movie collaborator Coke Sams, from a seemingly defunct website called “Know the Artist”, there was a script for a movie called Ernest and the Voodoo Curse which was written during the Disney run of Ernest films (which consists of Goes to Camp, Saves Christmas, Goes to Jail, and Scared Stupid). In an Ernest Goes to Podcast episode called “The Unmade Ernest Movies,” they speculate as to whether Goes to Africa was basically the script idea from Voodoo Curse. If true and this film had been made in the Disney golden-era, then Ernest and the Voodoo Curse would have been comedy gold and could’ve been #1 on this list.

Overall, watch this only when all other Ernest film items have been previously explored.

Magic Meter-* (1)

#12 Ernest in the Army

Moving to #12 on our list is the last Ernest movie ever made, and the fourth of the 4 straight-to-VHS movies, Ernest in the Army. Because who doesn’t want to see Ernest save the day and receive a medal of honor with that huge Ernesty smile on his face while surrounded by hardened war heroes? Someone please draw that image and email it to me!

Ernest in the Army poster (1998)

Ernest in the Army is about… well… Ernest in the army. If you know a little about Ernest you’ve probably realized he somehow always manages to bumble his way into unimaginable trouble. So in classic Ernest form you can bet his reasons for joining the army are not traditional. Similar to Ernest Goes to Africa this will only appeal to a handful of hardcore Ernest fans and I don’t recommend starting here. But different to Ernest Goes to Africa is the positive feeling left when reflecting back on it. As a last film it is an improvement to Ernest Goes to Africa and there are enough funny gags in the film to prove that there was indeed a little more of that pixie dust left in the tank… especially the scene where Ernest is eating “Oooey Gooey Gummy Toads!”

But’s that’s not the biggest reason it makes a lasting impression on you. Part of the viewing experience is knowing you’re watching Jim Varney’s last role as Ernest, and for anyone who grew up with Ernest during their childhood like I did, that alone is enough to make it special and emotional. This film is where the train pulls up to the last station and even if you wanted it to, it’s not going any further in the Ernest universe.

Overlook the flaws and soak it in.

Magic Meter-**** (4)

You can check out the Oooey Gooey Gummy Toads scene below…

#11 Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam

At #11, Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam is… It’s… Well… It’s really hard to describe. After you watch it, you’ll knowhutimean. But, Ernest would want me to give it a Worrell!

Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam poster (1986)

Dr. Otto and the Riddle of Gloom Beam is a wacky, dark, feature-length indie film that stars Jim Varney as the semi-naive, mad-scientist, Dr. Otto von Schnick-ick-ick-ick. In case you didn’t notice, I should also mention he has a third hand growing out of the top of his head which pulls at his forehead at all times. Dr. Otto is plotting to take over the world using his electromagnetic Gloom Beam, as long as Lance (the supposed hero) doesn’t stop him. He also has a magical teleportation machine that allows him to turn into any villain he wants before teleporting to where ever Lance is located.

Next to Varney’s acting, Lance feels like a bit character and I honestly can’t remember a single memorable moment of his. Really, this film is an expose of Varney’s acting chops, who plays a number of funny and eccentric characters including a pirate captain (Varney was actually considered for a pirate film in 1999 but could not perform the role due to his eventual declining health), an Australian militant, and an evil version of Auntie Nelda (is that an oxymoron?) among a few others.

But even though Ernest is featured on the poster, he is only featured at the beginning and end of the movie and has no real part to play in the plot. Due to this and for the fact that the film has a darker tone, for the typical Ernest-only-interested viewer I recommend starting elsewhere. But for those who enjoy experimental low-budget indie films or who want to watch all of Jim Varney’s filmography, Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam is a wild ride.

Magic Meter-**** (4)

Below is the catchy and theme song to Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam. Hearing Jim Varney sing along as Dr. Otto is pretty funny.

#10 Hey Vern It’s My Family Album

In #10 is Hey Vern It’s My Family Album, which is a Jim Varney comedy extravaganza. This is a special full of comedy shorts where Varney plays a bunch of members from the Worrell family. This allows Jim Varney to flex his acting chops and uses the familiarity of Ernest as a jump-off point.

VHS Cover for Hey Vern It’s My Family Album (1983)

The special starts with a typical Ernest set-up — Ernest bothers Vern and invites (pesters?) Vern to check out his family album that he found earlier in the attic. From there as he mentions each member of the Worrell family, we are transported to a comedy short of that specific family member. Before each new member is introduced, there is always a short Ernest bit to keep the story flowing. We are introduced to Corporal Davy Worrell the Davy Crockett-esque frontiersman, Ace Worrell the machine gun-happy fighter pilot, his incredibly mean old Uncle Loyld, his carny cousin Billy-Boogie Worrell who speaks in disco rhymes, his great-granddaddy Rhetch Worrell a Mississippi River card-playing gambler, and Ernest’s word-slurring granddaddy “Pop” — all of whom are played by Varney.

Similar to Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam, due to the amount of time Varney is playing other characters besides Ernest, this comedy special is not recommended for the Ernest-only-interested person who’s starting their movie journey. But different to Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam, Hey Vern It’s My Family Album features Jim Varney almost exclusively throughout the entire comedy special and is a must-watch for anyone wanting to see all the films in his filmography. Given that it is an out-dated and low-budget film made in 1983 before any of the Ernest films were made, it does incredibly well to hold your attention.

I personally think it is funnier than Ernest Goes to School and Slam Dunk Ernest and I strongly considered moving this to #8. However, due to Ernest’s limited screen time, Hey Vern It’s My Family Album remains at #10.

Magic Meter-**** (4)

If you want to see a clip of Ernest’s super-mean old Uncle Loyld, check this out…

#9 Ernest Goes to School

Ernest Goes to School is the rock in my shoe of the Ernest movies. It isn’t that it’s the worst one — it’s that I love the Ernest movies so much and it feels like Ernest Goes to School had the potential to be by far the best non-Disney movie. As it is though, Ernest Goes to School comes in at #9 and I’m left with that perpetually niggling thought, “What if?”

Ernest Goes to School poster (1994)

Ernest is the janitor at a high school and because of a new rule being enforced that all employees must have a high school diploma, he must take classes with students to keep his job. It’s a perfect Billy Madison-esque scenario that allows plenty of funny interactions and pranks with all the stereotypical types of high school students. My favorite scene of the movie is when Ernest fights the tide of water pressure building in the locker room pipes while the toilets begin moving back and forth (scroll below to watch this scene)! But regarding that rock in my shoe…

For me the joy of Ernest comes in his innocent, trusting, caring, never-say-die, hard-working, and regular man's attitude. So when German science teachers in the school create a machine that makes Ernest an arrogant, condescending, super-genius in order to help him pass his tests, those scenes take away all the reasons I love Ernest in the first place and change the dynamic of my Ernest Goes to School experience. But don’t let my petty rock interfere with your clean shoes, plenty of people disagree with me and rank Ernest Goes to School as one of their favorite non-Disney Ernest movies!

Overall, Ernest Goes to School — the first of the straight-to-VHS movies — is still a fun outing if you’re looking for something outside of the Disney 4. And if the super-genius machine doesn’t bother your soul like it bothers mine, you might really like this one.

Magic Meter-***** (5)

Classic scene! “Crazy Legs, what we need… is a miracle.”

#8 Slam Dunk Ernest

Here’s an interesting question — if Ernest stepped out on the basketball court, what skill sets do you think he’d be good at? Jump shots? Dribbling? Granny-style free throws? You can get the answer to this question by watching Slam Dunk Ernest, which comes in at #8 on our list!

Slam Dunk Ernest poster (1995)

Slam Dunk Ernest is the second of the 4 straight-to-VHS movies, and it is my favorite of those 4. In it, Ernest desperately wants to join his co-workers’ successful basketball team “The Clean Sweep” so that he can fit in and make new friends. After disappointing the team and seemingly on the outs, Ernest is visited by the archangel of basketball (played by the legendary Kareem Abdul-Jabbar) who gives him a pair of magical shoes. These special shoes have a mind of their own and make Ernest a superhuman basketball player! But is Ernest mature enough to not abuse this power and handle the attention one gets when he becomes a superstar? You’ll find out!

Though it has its flaws, this film has a touching ending with a good message about hard work, honesty, and doing the right thing. In that regard, actor Cylk Cozart does an incredible job portraying a father named Barry Worth who is trying to teach his impressionable kid to work hard so that he will avoid the same mistakes Barry made in the past.

Overall, as long as you understand you’re watching a low-budget film, if you’re wondering which of the straight-to-VHS movies to watch first after checking out the ‘Disney 4’ and Ernest Rides Again, I’d start here.

Magic Meter-****** (6)

Check out a scene from Slam Dunk Ernest below…

#7 Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain and Your World As I See It

Coming confidently in at #7 is our double comedy specials, Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain and Your World As I See It. You can watch both together in around 55 minutes on Youtube, and both are full of great gags and plenty of laughs.

Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain poster (1989)

Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain was released in 1989, and is a 22-minute comedy special which allowed Disney to market its then new Splash Mountain ride at Disneyland in California. In the special, a breaking news story emerges with multiple reporters on the scene to cover the world’s first “Splashronaut,” the first volunteer brave enough to ride down Splash Mountain. Who might that be? Obviously Ernest! But before he arrives on the scene, he first must go through an arduous training camp at the “Daredevil Facility,” “owned and operated by his best friend Vern.” In the following scene, Ernest spins himself around on a tire swing in Vern’s back yard. What a daredevil! At the end, you see Ernest actually riding the Splash Mountain ride as he drops into the water while screaming for his life. It’s pretty cool to see Varney acting while actually on a theme park ride.

Overall, Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain is full of funny and cute comedy bits that will leave a smile on your face. It’s a short watch and well worth the time!

Your World As I See It poster (1994)

According to IMDB, Your World As I See It is a “comedy short anthology series featuring forty stories about Ernest P. Worrell’s family with the way our world is, but how billionaire Astor Clement sees it.” The forty stories are basically a compilation of quick 45 second comedy shorts with a skit in the middle (featuring Ernest, Baby Ernest, Auntie Nelda, a 50’s style grease lightning mechanic, or a hairdresser) sandwiched by an intro and an outro skit narrated by Astor Clement. All characters are played by Jim Varney. Astor Clement is an extremely condescending billionaire who looks down at the common man (and the viewer) and makes plenty of funny barbs to set up the following comedy bit. When the bit ends, it always comes back to Astor Clement saying, “And that’s your world, as I see it.” As a reviewer on IMDB perfectly remarks, “Astor Clem[ent]’s obtuse, snobbishness contrasts with Ernest’s light-hearted ignorance to produce some very funny (albeit short) sequences.”

Overall, Your World As I See It which was released in 1994 is entertaining and has many moments which will make you laugh out loud. The only mystery left is… what the heck was this made for?

Put both together, and you have an hour’s worth of funny Ernest material, and considering you’ve just learned that Ernest is the world’s first “Splashronaut,” this is highly recommended.

Magic Meter-***** (5)

Below is Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain and Your World As I See It…

#6 Ernest Rides Again

“There once was a man named Worrell! Ernest P. Worrell!” I can’t even express to you how much you need to click on the embedded Youtube video below and listen to the awesome opening theme of the movie by Bruce Arnston! Golly-Bob-howdy, does that not make you want to watch an Ernest movie?!

Ernest Rides Again poster (1993)

Ernest Rides Again is the fifth Ernest film, the first non-Disney Ernest movie, and the last of the Ernest films to be released theatrically. However, because of it’s lower budget and limited theatrical release, most people don’t consider it part of the ‘Main 4’ Ernest movies. I think of it as the brief in-between stage separating the magic and bigger budgets of the theatrical Disney films and the smaller budget, straight-to-VHS films released afterward and listed above.

Ernest Rides Again is the treasure adventure movie of the Ernest films and features Ernest riding on a Revolutionary War cannon for over 30 minutes! Wait… let me repeat that so you can try to digest what I just said. Literally over 30 minutes of the film is spent with him riding around town on a British battle cannon. LOL. Can you even fathom that?! The cannon itself is rumored to have the crown jewels of England inside, so you can bet there are multiple parties trying to get their hands on the crown jewels… even if it means trying to kill Ernest!

One of my favorite scenes of the movie is the first scene where Ernest accidentally wrecks an entire construction site. Why you ask? Oh you know, the usual… just one of Ernest’s biggest enemies — electricity — makes power tools come to life to try to kill him and in the ensuing battle all the wood framing in the construction site gets destroyed. “Ernest vs. Electricity” …that’s an unmade Ernest movie waiting to be written!

While I would recommend to start your Ernest movie journey with the four Disney films, Ernest Rides Again is a fun movie for everyone and I recommend you watch this film before watching the 4 straight-to-VHS movies listed above.

Magic Meter-**** (*) 5 - The fifth star added for the opening theme song. Did I mention that opening theme song?! Check it out in the Youtube video below!

#5 Hey Vern, It’s Ernest!

“Hey Vern! It’s Me… I’M ON TV!!!” I can’t tell you how much I love this show! Why? Well, let me ask you a couple questions. Do you love seeing Ernest get into all kinds of activities, hobbies, and gags? Are you interested in seeing how other people around the neighborhood respond to Ernest? Are you interested in seeing what Vern’s experience of Ernest is on a daily basis? If you answered yes to those, there are 13 episodes full of short stories and funny gags that do all three of those things.

Hey Vern! It’s Ernest poster (1988)

In Hey Vern, It’s Ernest! Ernest explores everything from outer space, the Boogeyman, Halloween parties, pets, talents, school, hobbies, celebrating every holiday in one day, wrestling, trying his hand at film making, and more! Imagine going to see a film written by, directed by, and starring Ernest P. Worrell — I know I’d be the first in line!

But Vern! It sounds good ’n’ all, but what is it? Hey Vern, It’s Ernest! is an Emmy Award-winning, 13-episode, children’s sketch-comedy television series that was released in the fall of 1988. Each episode features a number of comedy sketches from many actors who, while not usually connected plot-wise in the episode to Ernest’s story arc, are all connected to each show’s theme. For instance, in the sports episode all the sketches involve sports in some way. However, Ernest has a small, separate, story arc surrounding him training to become a professional wrestler named “Ernest the Furnace” (which is hilarious).

While Ernest’s involvement is absolutely brilliant, there are a lot of other sketches in each episode that are hit-or-miss. Some are funny, but if they’re not and you’re an adult you’ll quickly find yourself fast-forwarding to Jim Varney’s next sketch. That being said, Dr. Otto (see #9) returns in Hey Vern, It’s Ernest! and he’s absolutely amazing! Given they had to make him more appropriate for a children’s series, instead of wanting to destroy the world, he’s bent on something even worse… causing minor irritations to your everyday life! For instance, in one sketch he creates the evilest super-villain device of all time — a toaster that always burns your toast. “AHHAHAHA!”

Overall, if you’re looking for more funny Ernest sketch material, a nostalgia boost, and/or want your children to join in with you, this is highly recommended!

Magic Meter-******* (7)

Check out the sports episode below and consider purchasing the entire season here…

***Honorable mentions to Existo, Earl the Barber, and Baby Ernest… but that doll creeps me out!

#4 Ernest Saves Christmas

Coming in at #4 on our list is the second Disney Ernest movie, Ernest Saves Christmas. This is a solid Christmas film full of plenty of Christmas spirit and heart. As a side note, if you want to read an article I wrote about how much of the plot of The Christmas Chronicles (2018) with Kurt Russell is strikingly similar to Ernest Saves Christmas, just click here.

Ernest Saves Christmas poster (1988)

With having a character like Ernest in the Disney universe, it makes total sense to add Ernest into a movie with Santa Claus. The story revolves around Santa Claus needing to find a replacement Santa because he is getting too old and ready to retire. Every time I watch Ernest Saves Christmas I think, “Who is more open-hearted, trusting, and deserving of that job than Ernest? Why didn’t the script have Ernest become Santa at the end?” Interestingly, I found the answer to that question. According to page 124 of John Cherry’s book, Keeper of the Clown: My Life With Ernest, John Cherry and Coke Sams actually did want Ernest to become Santa, and it was Disney that pushed against that idea. What?!?! You made a big mistake there, Disney! Ending Ernest Saves Christmas with Santa coming down Vern’s chimney, waking him up, annoying him, and then saying, “Ho ho ho and Merry Christmas, knowhutimean Vern?!” — before smiling, disappearing up the chimney, and the camera falling backward to signal Vern is fainting — would’ve been the ultimate ending.

Speaking of Vern, Ernest Saves Christmas is the only Ernest movie that involves Vern and it also happens to be my favorite scene of the movie. While driving his taxi, Ernest finds a Christmas tree laying in the middle of the interstate and rescues it just so he can give it to Vern. Think about how caring that is — that assumes Ernest knew Vern didn’t have a Christmas tree and went out of his way just to do something kind for his good ol’ buddy during the Christmas season! After getting the tree, him and his new friend Harmony Starr go to Vern’s house and Vern promptly slams the door in Ernest’s face. (Where’s your Christmas spirit Vern?! You saw the tree!). Ernest’s refusal to accept that Vern doesn’t want his company makes me laugh out loud every time when Ernest replies, “Ohhh, Vern’s just like that he’ll do anything for a laugh.” Ernest immediately opens Vern’s door back up and goes in anyways only to completely tear up his living room trying to set up the Christmas tree (with the “Hallelujah” song playing in the background). During the mayhem, in classic Ernest style you of course never see Vern’s face.

Ernest Saves Christmas is a lovable, big-hearted, family-friendly Christmas movie that I recommend to everyone.

Magic Meter-********* (9)

Watch Ernest and Harmony “decorate” Vern’s living room below…

#3 Ernest Goes to Jail

Where is the absolute last place you would expect to see Ernest? Definitely in jail! …Meanwhile, would Vern be happy to finally have some peace and quiet? Maybe Vern would be the first to recognize Felix Nash because he would instantly know Nash isn’t Ernest!

Ernest Goes to Jail poster (1990)

The third Disney movie, Ernest Goes to Jail, is the zaniest of the Ernest films. It is pure slapstick comedy madness, full of fun jokes, gags, and amazing acting and impressions from Jim Varney. Whereas in the other Disney movies there is a large emphasis on heart and resolving some type of emotional story arc, this film leaves that behind and focuses completely on laughs. And given the villain is also played by Jim Varney, he has a lot of screen time to showcase his immense acting talent. Not only does he play two separate characters, while in jail Ernest does awesome rapid-fire impersonations of “James Cagney, Walter Brennan, Humphrey Bogart, Barry Fitzgerald, Sylvester Stallone, and James Mason” (IMDB Trivia). Also, you HAVE to watch Varney’s performance in maybe the best Ernest monologue of all time when he realizes he’s about to be put in the electric chair and he bravely faces death with a Grim Reaper shadow in the background.

The plot of the film centers around Ernest getting called in for jury duty (which he is hilariously excited about). However, while performing his role as a juror the defendant notices Ernest looks exactly like a bad guy soon to be executed named Felix Nash. The defendant’s attorney suggests the trial and jurors visit the prison facility and while there they kidnap Ernest and switch Nash with Ernest. Nash is free to live Ernest’s life outside. And Ernest is left… “IN JAAAIIIILLLLLLL!!!!!!!” and soon to get the electric chair!

As a side note, on the podcast The Importance of Seeing Ernest they read through the original treatment of Ernest Goes to Jail. It originally had Ernest as a patsy — getting arrested for unwittingly selling stolen jewels which were placed inside the items in Ernest’s successful yard art store without his knowledge. Just imagining Ernest getting cocky and bragging about his successful yard art business acumen, only to find out his success was completely predicated on the illegal goods he was unwittingly selling, seems like a hilarious Ernest predicament! I can envision it perfectly.

Overall, Ernest Goes to Jail is a laugh-out-loud good time full of great jokes and fantastic acting by Jim Varney. For that reason, it is a lot of people’s pick for the best Ernest movie ever (check out the Ernest Roulette Rankings).

Magic Meter-******** (8)

Check out Ernest’s ‘charged’ electric chair scene below (by the way I LOVE the music in this scene)…

#2 Ernest Goes to Camp

Coming in at #2 on our list is the first Disney Ernest movie, Ernest Goes to Camp! After Disney noticed Ernest was getting more attention than Mickey Mouse at a local parade, they gave Ernest a deal for four feature-length movies. The Ernest Brain Trust was then faced with the difficult task of figuring out how to take a character in 30-second commercials and flesh him out into a role worthy of 90 minutes. Well Verns, with Ernest Goes to Camp they hit the nail on the head… and subsequently Ernest fell off the ladder!

Ernest Goes to Camp poster (1987)

Ernest Goes to Camp is something of a kids-comedy-drama, with Ernest being the ‘most real’ version of himself compared to the other films. By ‘most real’, I mean with each film over the years more supernatural and cartoon elements are added to Ernest’s character. By the time Ernest Goes to Jail and Ernest Scared Stupid arrive, you begin to suspect he’s somehow (and hilariously) impervious to death like Wile E. Coyote falling off of a cliff (credit that idea to Ernest Goes to Podcast). But in this film, he feels like a vulnerable human being with as many complex limitations and emotions as any of us.

The film itself is about Ernest working to become a camp counselor at a kid’s camp called Camp Kikikee. When Ernest is paired up with a group of boys that are released from a Juvenile facility, madness ensues as the boys relentlessly prank Ernest and feud with other kids at the camp. Meanwhile Ernest argues with the camp’s brass that the boys be given another chance to prove themselves even though most of the other counselors want to send the boys back to the facility. On top of that, a greedy and evil company attempts to forcefully purchase/steal the Camp Kikikee land from the Native American family who refuses to leave their sacred and rightful home. This all culminates in a hilarious battle over the land that involves smoke bombs, flying snapping turtle parachuters (do yourself a favor and re-read that), and the ever-deadly and explosive mystery dish — eggs erroneous (#eggserroneous).

At “Ernest Day 2019" in Burns, Tennessee at the actual Camp Kikikee film location, John Cherry said Disney requested the Ernest films always have “heart.” With that in mind, I have to mention Jim Varney’s absolutely brilliant and heartbreaking performance as Ernest singing, “Gee I’m Glad It’s Raining.” Varney is able to convey all the pain Ernest is feeling in such a raw way that it has become one of the most touching, iconic, and memorable Ernest scenes of all time. Many a person has probably watched this and had to quickly wipe their face and reply, “What? No, man! I was just… cutting onions.”

Overall, Ernest Goes to Camp is an excellent film, a lot of people’s #1 pick, and I highly recommend this to anyone of any age. Also, if you’re looking for an opinion on where to start first if you’ve never seen an Ernest film, I’d start here.

Magic Meter-********* (9)

Learn the secret of “Jake’s specialty du jour, eggs erogenous,” below.

…“Oh, I can’t eat on an empty stomach.”

#1 Ernest Scared Stupid

And now it’s time for the #1 spot! My absolute favorite Ernest movie. The pinnacle of what Ernest can be! The most creative cinematography! The best overall character arc! The zany, the endearing, the spooky, Ernest Scared Stupid! “How ‘bout a bumper sandwich, Boogerlips!”

Ernest Scared Stupid poster (1991)

I first saw Ernest Scared Stupid when I was ten years old, and considering the villain is a demonic troll who wants to turn children into little wooden dolls, it genuinely scared me as a kid. I remember being outside in the evening and looking at the bushes in my front yard feeling scared that a troll might pop out and turn me into a wooden doll. And apparently I’m not the only one. There are many people around the internet that have written articles about how “scary” and “terrifying” it is as a “kid’s” movie. One blogger says that Ernest Scared Stupid was scarier than Friday the 13th as a kid! All that being said, I loved this movie then and still do now, so obviously it left a great impression on me. It’s perfect for Halloween!

The plot of Ernest Scared Stupid revolves around Ernest unwittingly fulfilling a small town’s prophecy that a “dumb” “Worrell” will awaken an evil troll named Trantor who was buried underground by Ernest’s ancestors. Trantor has the magical power to turn kids into small wooden dolls and once he captures five children he will unleash an army of trolls that will take over the world. This story structure creates the best story arc for Ernest as a character. Ernest, the town reject and treated by all adults as a nuisance, is trying his hardest to fit in when he makes the ultimate error — fulfilling the prophecy and releasing Trantor. When this happens not only are children’s lives at stake, but this mistake will also be the nail in the coffin in his desire for acceptance if he doesn’t somehow defeat the evil troll and save the children.

Of all the Ernest films, Ernest Scared Stupid and Ernest Goes to Jail are my favorite Varney portrayals of Ernest. He’s much more confident and bold in these films. And while seeing Ernest’s vulnerable side is important for empathizing with him, to me it works best when that is mixed with that cocky Ernest machismo that makes him stand up and fight in the face of danger. They go hand-in-hand. It’s that funny Ernest bravado that makes the moments of vulnerability more touching, and the vulnerability that makes the bravado more energizing. This is also one of the reasons the straight-to-VHS films are not as entertaining to me because they seem to veer away from the funny bravado and lean too far into the vulnerable and insecure side of Ernest.

But, unlike every other Ernest movie where Jim Varney’s performance steals the show, in Ernest Scared Stupid he has to share that limelight with the legendary Eartha Kitt. Her portrayal as Old Lady Hackmore is INCREDIBLE. She is the only other actor/actress I’ve ever seen command as much presence as Varney on the same screen. Needless to say, their scenes together and on-screen chemistry are really something to behold and I wish she would have been a recurring character in the other films.

Production and writing-wise, to me this is by far the most creative work Disney and the Ernest Brain Trust did to bring Ernest to life. The cinematography is great for 1991 standards. On top of the typical fish-eye lens used to exaggerate Varney’s facial expressions, they use a choppy effect on a lot of the action scenes to create an almost cartoon-like frenzied feeling which fits the tone of Ernest perfectly. Writing-wise, they make use of many quick and creative cut scenes that also add to the creative and frenzied feeling of an Ernest movie. “He never knew when to quit.”

Ernest Scared Stupid feels like the pinnacle of what an Ernest movie can be. It’s the perfect amalgamation of creative ingredients and I often wonder what Disney could have done with future films given they were firing on all cylinders at this point. The irony is as soon as they reached this pinnacle and figured out the formula to further unlock Ernest, instead of further exploring the franchise and improving upon it, Disney chose not to offer the Ernest films another contract. NOO!!!!

Also, as mentioned on Ernest Goes to Podcast, it is a total mystery why Ernest Scared Stupid wasn’t a bigger box office success or isn’t more revered as a cult classic because it is a genuinely good kid’s film (even for non-Ernest fans!). Ernest Goes to Podcast postulates that it may have something to do with two things: Number one being that perhaps by this point an Ernest movie fatigue had set in. Number two is the film might have been in a commercial dead zone — too scary for parents to take their kids to see, and too “kiddie” for an adult to want to go see without their kids. I guess we’ll never know for sure, knowhutimean?

Finally, a fun fact about Ernest Scared Stupid is the backup troll costumes (meaning the other trolls besides Trantor) were recycled from the 80’s cult classic Killer Klowns From Outer Space. If you’ve seen that movie you’ll instantly recognize them when they appear. During a Skype call with John Cherry in July of 2017 for a class I was teaching, Mr. Cherry said that the actors in the troll costumes were practically dying of sweat trying to cope with the summer heat in Tennessee (where many of the films were shot).

Overall, this is by far my favorite Ernest movie. It’s legendary. If you haven’t seen it, get to it!

Magic Meter-********** (10)

Check out Ernest battling Trantor below while Rimshot drives…

“Gosh Rimshot, pretty soon kids won’t have to worry about eatin’ their Brussels sprouts ‘cause their Brussels sprouts will be eatin’ them!”

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Your good ol’ buddy Ernest

Golly-Bob-howdy, I cain’t believe you read this entire article! Thanks, Vernon! I always knew you was smart. As the twig is bent, so grows the tree. …I bet after all that readin’ you wish you still had all that punch I spilled, huh? Well, I’m goin’ home, Vern. Good luck with that red stain!