As a kid growing up in the eighties there was no shortage of good cartoons that depicted good and evil. The main ones to me were G.I. Joe and Transformers. Both will become blockbuster movies this summer, one of which Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen opens tonight, June 23rd. There was also another battle of good and evil that still takes place today, and that is between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox.

Looking between these rivalries one can see many similarities in the characters involved. In my mind the Autobots are the Yankees, and Decepticons are the Red Sox. The characters on both side aren’t so clear cut thou.

Here are the characters in tonight’s movie and the athletes that play them.

Optimus Prime played by Mariano Rivera. I could’ve gone either way here, using Rivera or Jeter. I eventually went with Mo because he is the protector. Without him saving 497 games over the past decade the Yankees would have not been so successful. I chose Mo because the movie incarnation of Optimus Prime, is trying to protect the All Spark from Megatron. The other reason is Mo is a battler. He can be knocked down and beat up but get back up to fight again. Just like Prime, when he gets back up he’s even stronger then before.

Megatron played by David Ortiz. This one’s pretty obvious. Big Papi even in a down year is the biggest weapon the Red Sox have. He’s their leader on and off the field. Just like Mo they wouldn’t be where they’ve been without him. Papi has provided countless big time blasts for the Sox and what’s Megatron known for? The shots from his cannon. Another thing that makes these two the perfect match is their knowledge of their opponent, and that knowledge brings out their best. Ortiz has struggled mightily this year, only 6 homeruns but 2 of those have come against the Yankees. The thought of facing Mariano and the Yankees gets him focused and brings out his best.

Starscream played by Alex Rodriguez. A-Rod is the main reason why I couldn’t just go Yankees as Autobots and Red Sox as Decepticons. His persona fits the Starscream billing perfectly. Starscream has always been a character with an ego, one that looks down upon others, even those that are superior. He even tried to betray his leader, Megatron so many teams that he was eventually exiled from the Decepticons. Well let’s look at A-Rod. He’s got the ego, there’s no doubt about that. Yankee fans have also always debated whether he is a Yankee or not due to his constant failures in big games (specifically against the BoSox) and the postseason. Those failures actually make me think of one thing, and that’s one of Megatron’s most popular lines. “You’ve failed me yet again Starscream.” Don’t us Yankee fans consistently say “You’ve failed us yet again A-Rod”??

Sam Witwicky played by Derek Jeter. He’s the only human character I’m listing here. Over the past decade Jeter has been in the lead role of this rivalry, much like Sam is the lead in the movie. He’s the guy that Yankee fans want to come through the most, and the guy the Red Sox fans want to see fail the most. (Even more then A-Rod). On top of that he gets the hottest girls and what did Sam get? Megan Fox the hottest person in the movie, a girl that might be the only one in Hollywood that Jeter hasn’t dated.

The Fallen played by Terry Francona. The Fallen is one of the ancient Transformers. Those ancients’ roles were to roam the galaxy and find planets that they could use to harvest Energon, the life blood of the Transformers. These ancients can only be killed by descendants of the Primes, i.e. Optimus Prime. And you know what the only way the Red Sox and the run of Terry Francona to be killed is for Mariano Rivera to close the door on them.

Bumblebee played by Dustin Pedroia. Bumbleebee has always been one of the smaller, weaker members of the Autobots. With that being said he’s one of the most valuable members of the team. He’s very efficient at what he does. He’s scrappy and will always put up a good fight. This is a lot like the reigning American League MVP, Pedroia. The guy is not the biggest and definitely not the strongest but he sure as hell is a fighter.

Devastator played by the Boston Red Sox. Devastator is a massive Decepticon formed by five others. The five that form him aren’t the strongest, aren’t the best but they’re role players who do what they have to. But when they come together they become an almost unstoppable force. That is why I picked the Red Sox as a whole to play them, five players in particular

Mixmaster – Mike Lowell

Rampage – JD Drew

Long Haul – Tim Wakefield

Scavenger – Nick Green

Scrapper – Jacoby Ellsbury.

Five guys who are productive but not the flashy starts. But five guys that make the Sox who they are. Five guys who have the Red Sox where they are today, on top of the American League East standings.

Ironhide played by Jorge Posada. Ironhide is the weapons specialist for Optimus Prime, he’s also his oldest friend. So wouldn’t that make Posada the perfect player to play that role? He’s been paired with Rivera for years, since 1997. The two know each other better than any other Yankee probably does (minus Jete of course).

Soundwave played by Jason Varitek. In Revenge of the Fallen, Soundwave is pretty much the one who calls the shots. He directs people where they need to go and puts them in a position to get the job done. Varitek is the same for the Sox. He calls the pitchers and he’s the one the pitchers rely on. He puts them in a position to succeed and its on them to execute.

Blackout played by Kevin Youkilis. Blackout is extremely loyal to Megatron and what surprise Youkilis is extremely loyal to the Sox and his teammates. In the 2007, he was one of the ones to rally the Decepticons at Hoover Dam. Youkilis is one of the keys to any Sox rally. Without him the comebacks normally don’t exist.

Ratchet played by Andy Pettitte. Ratchet is the chief medic for the Autobots, which means he can fix just about anything. He’s got numerous tools at his exposure, much like Andy. Originally Andy was a two tool guy, a devastating cutter and a pick off move out of this world. As he’s aged he’s developed more tools to add to his arsenal. All of these tools make him a formidable foe for any opponent.

Barricade played by Josh Beckett. Barricade is a hunter in the movie edition of Transformers. He’s a powerful Decepticon who doesn’t take any failures lightly. Beckett is much the same way, if he makes any mistakes on the mound he gets very frustrated, he’s got a great sense of pride out there. He’s also been known as somewhat of a head hunter for his propensity to throw the brush back pitch when it’s called for.

Frenzy played by Dice-K. Frenzy is a small irreplaceable Decepticon. He can get in to just about anywhere and get any information they may need. He also takes a beating and keeps on ticking. Dice-K is much the same way. He’s been known to give up the hits and walk many but always works his way out of the jam. Frenzy also speaks Cybertronian and does it so fast it sounds like gibberish. Well Dice is from Japan and to many his language sounds like gibberish as well.

There are many other characters in Revenge of the Fallen who play a vital role in the success of the Autobots and Decepticons. These guys also compare to other Red Sox and Yankee players. For the remaining characters, I’m just going to list them out.

Bone Crusher – Jonathan Papelbon

Jetfire – Joba Chamberlain

Sideswipe – AJ Burnett

Wheelie – Johnny Damon

Jolt – Brett Gardner

Mudflap – Mark Teixeira

Skids – Robinson Cano

Sideways – Hideki Matsui

Demolisher – Jason Bay.





So once again the battle of good verse evil rages on in tonight’s opening of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Just as the battle of good verse evil rages on this baseball season. There’s sure to be surprises along the way in both and we’ll all enjoy watching them take place.

Who do you think the characters of the movie correspond with? Let me know. If there are any characters that show up in the movie that aren’t mentioned here, link them to a player.

But for now I have just one think to say

Autobots Roll Out!