We are still a good full year and pocket change away from Run For The POTUS 2016, the candidates aren’t even in the starting gates yet, and already members of the party hoping at best for a photo finish against Hillary Clinton are pulling up lame. It seems like only yesterday that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was the twinkle in everyone’s eye on Joe Scarborough’s Newsy Housewife Coffee Klatch show but now shit has gotten real and Christie’s career arc bends toward starring in late-night infomercials bullying old people into reverse mortgages. Marco Rubio had a good run until he got himself waist deep in the big muddy of immigration reform and suddenly everyone in the GOP noticed that he wasn’t a white guy and that was the end of that. Rand Paul is still plugging away, counting on some crossover from the drones and bitcoin bro-bund, but his problem is that he is still Rand Paul and he can’t stop saying crazy shit and being a dick when he’s not being a whiny-assed titty baby at the first sign of push back. Ted Cruz? Even his own party hates him.

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So who has risen to the top while everyone else is floundering around in the shallows? God-bothering snake-oil selling Arkansas ladies man Mike Huckabee, the man who puts the ‘huck’ in ‘huckster’:

Following the controversy over his ‘Uncle Sugar’ speech Mike Huckabee has…taken the lead in the Republican primary race for 2016. He’s at 16% to 14% for Jeb Bush, 13% for Chris Christie, 11% for Rand Paul, 8% each for Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and Paul Ryan, 6% for Scott Walker, and 5% for Bobby Jindal. […] Christie’s problems are even bigger with the overall electorate though. His net favorability has dropped 27 points in a month from +12 at 43/31 to now -15 at 31/46. He’s gone from having the best numbers of the potential Republican candidates to the worst in the span of a month. Christie had been popular because of his unusual amount of appeal to Democrats and independents. But now he’s become deeply unpopular with both of those groups, dropping from 38/36 to 20/58 with the former and from 46/28 to 29/44 with the latter.

A coy Jeb Bush is still flirting with the idea although he is getting some static on the home front:

There is one person who Bush would have to convince who recently threw cold water on another Bush presidency. Former first lady Barbara Bush, Jeb’s mom, said she hopes he won’t run, even though “Jeb is the best qualified person to run.” “If we can’t find more than two or three families to run for high office, that’s silly, because there are great governors and great eligible people to run,” Mrs. Bush said. “I refuse to accept that this country isn’t raising other wonderful people.” When asked about what his mother said, Jeb replied, “She promised me she wouldn’t keep saying this. But she is 89 years old and if you have elderly parents or grandparents, you know they speak their mind. There is not much stopping between thinking and speaking. I love her.”

Expect sometime in the next sixth months or so for Barbara Bush to get a late night visit from Mr. Pillow Placed Firmly Over The Face. I bet Jeb can even get Paul Ryan to help her “to the other side” since it will fulfill yet another of a younger Paul Ryan’s childhood dreams.

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But with Mike Huckabee topping out at 16% in presidential preference which is no great shakes, you have to ask yourself: who does the GOP base really love?

That girl.

The best liked person we tested on this poll with Republican primary voters is actually Sarah Palin who has a 70/20 favorability rating. She’s followed by Huckabee at 64/18, Ryan at 58/18, Paul at 58/21, Bush at 56/18, Cruz at 45/20, and Christie at 40/38.

Far be it from us to do anything to discourage star-crossed lovers like Mike Huckabee & Sarah Palin from uniting in holy presidential ticket matrimony (we don’t care who is a top and who is a bottom) since we know that the heart wants what the heart wants. And I think that I can safely speak for all of us that we all want this so hard. Besides, Mike and Sarah have so much in common; both are former governors, both have been employed by Fox News, and both have a hankering for Chick–Fil-A.

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Huck/DumbCluck 2016