HENDERSON, KY—Saying he wants to show his support for the gay and lesbian community in the wake of the state’s recently passed religious freedom bill while at the same time acknowledging that he was excited to look at a variety of animals, local man Ryan Schutz, 32, told reporters Monday that he’s torn between boycotting Indiana’s businesses and visiting Evansville’s Mesker Park Zoo. “This is definitely an important moment to take a moral stand, but on the other hand, they have a new sun bear that I really want to see—boy, this is real tough,” said a visibly anguished Schutz, noting that he definitely wanted to protest in solidarity with the state’s homosexual community while also stressing that it was a beautiful day out and if he got there early enough he’d be able to hand-feed oats to the Bactrian camel. “It’s been almost a year since I was last there, and I haven’t even been to Komodo Cove yet. Don’t get me wrong, I really care about gay rights, but this place has paddleboats, too. I’m really not sure what to do here.” At press time, Schutz was actively attempting to envision the gay and lesbian friends he was standing with and not Junji, the zoo’s red panda.

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