With his former attorney now set to do actual time in prison, Trump—i.e. the Apprentice host who has convinced himself and his followers that he's POTUS—probably has bigger Filet-O-Fish to fry than this story about his alleged penchant for snorting Adderall. Of course, reason has arguably never entered this man's head, so we can probably still expect some tweeted commentary.

"I worked on a bunch of those beauty pageants [Trump] had in the '90s too," Noel Casler, a comedian and former Apprentice staffer, said during a recent Mediaite-spotted performance. "That was good idea. Miss Teen Universe? That's like giving Jeffrey Dahmer a cooking show. He would line up the girls on the side of the stage and he would inspect them, literally. He would stick his little freaking doll fingers in their mouth and look at their teeth. I'm not kidding. This is true. He'd line 'em up like they were pieces of meat. He'd be like 'You, you, and you. If you want to win, I'm in the penthouse suite. Come and see me.'"

As for the addys, Casler noted that Trump "can't read" and promptly gets "really nervous" when confronted with cue cards. "He's a speed freak," Casler said. "He crushes up his Adderall and he sniffs it because he can't read and he gets really nervous when he has to read cue cards. I'm not kidding. This is true. I had a 24-page NDA, non-disclosure agreement. I didn't know then he was becoming president."

See video (which has already been shared by Tom Arnold and Kathy Griffin) of Casler's comments below. The pertinent section begins around three minutes in. Of course, this isn't the first time uppers talk has entered the discussion.

In related news, snorting Adderall now seems at least 10,000 percent less cool.

In more joyous goings-on, Trump is also—according to NBC News's report, at least—worried about getting canned.