This weekend we bore witness to true greatness. No, it wasn’t the absurdly high-octane OKC offense running roughshod over the suddenly very mortal Golden State Warriors. It wasn’t Draymond Green’s hurtling junk-kick heard ’round the world (*Author’s note: or at least ’round the island of New Zealand) that caused a noted and sudden lack of oxygen in the world’s atmosphere as millions of men all inhaled sharply at the same time.

No, it was LeBron James. It was the King. And he was in the midst of submitting another of his most virtuosic moments on the court. He gave us what may have been the single greatest flop of his career. Feast your eyes upon this little number:

LeBron flops after getting hit in the face by his own teammate, Raptors gets called for the technical foul pic.twitter.com/ECFWtu08gY — gifdsports (@gifdsports) May 22, 2016

For a rational, interesting take on the dichotomy of LeBron’s superhuman strength and his inherent need to morph from Superman to Clark Kent in an effort to try to lure the refs into making the wrong call, check out Alex Schubauer’s post. If you’re just here for some good ‘ole LeBron James sports-hate, stick around.

Here are the G.A.F.s (Greatest All-Time Flops) from one of the G.O.A.T.s.

Code Name: Limbo Lean

The Game: 2011 Eastern Conference Finals, against the Bulls

What Happened: LeBron grabs one of his many rebounds and, on his way down it appears that Derrick Rose may have displaced several of the molecules near LeBron’s face. LeBron, accordingly, acts like he is attempting to win the company picnic’s Limbo party after housing a few too many of the complimentary drinks. The only thing that’s missing from this absurd over-reaction is some tiki torches, a few leis, and bongo music being drowned out by drunkenly cheering co-workers.

The Extra Mile: What makes this one of LeBron’s G.A.F.s is how, after his non-contact with Rose’s imaginarily long fingers, he then proceeds to collapse to the floor like he’s swearing fealty to the latest king to sit on the Iron Throne. Well played, Mr. James.

Code Name: Hamlet

The Game: 2012 Eastern Conference Playoffs, 1st Round against the Knicks

What Happened: Tyson Chandler sets an, admittedly, illegal and kind of hard screen on LeBron. James then proceeds to spasm in the opposite direction, defying the laws of physics in a way that would make even those fake scientists in his Kia commercials shake their heads in disgust.

The Extra Mile: What makes this one called Hamlet? The sheer length of the production. This theater has multiple acts, with James collapsing into a seemingly shallow-grave to apparently die before our eyes on national T.V. Then his rising once again, a faux-phoenix, lifting from the ashes to try to just. Grit. It. Out. Then he proceeds to walk it off. Mind you, not in the way that most people walk off a screen that rings their bell a little bit. He walks around that court like he’s one of the middle-aged women at my office trying to do 2 loops around my work campus before their break is over. To flop, or not to flop: that is the question.

Code Name: Paranormal Flop-Tivity

The Game: 2011 Regular Season Game, against the Mavericks

What Happened: Lebron attempts to move into the lane to crash the boards and collect a rebound and he makes contact with Brendan Haywood’s shoulder. A fairly common occurrence in the middle of the lane in an NBA game. What’s not common? The fact that, immediately after this impact with Haywood, LeBron is yanked in the opposite direction by an invisible, malevolent spirit-monster. Make no mistake: ghosts are real. And they are out to attack LeBron and pull him in the opposite direction of where he is trying to go like he is a suburban white woman attempting to sleep while being video-taped by her dumb-ass husband.

The Extra Mile: LeBron’s pure athleticism. To reverse course, changing his way to flying in the opposite direction of the impact? That’s impressive. This should be a drill at the NBA combine to test explosiveness and the ability to redirect. This would’ve snapped Derrick Rose’s knee-tendons like a cheap guitar string during a hack-guitarists’ attempt at Free Bird.

https://youtu.be/hpp13kwRzTY?t=16s

Code Name: The Drake Fake

The Game: 2016 Eastern Conference Finals, Against the Raptors

What Happened: LeBron wades into a mid-court scrum between his teammates and several members of the Toronto Raptors. DeMarre Carroll shoves Tristan Thompson’s elbow off of his chest and Thompson lands a $14.26 million dollar tap to LeBron’s grill. LeBron, weighing in at a mere 250 pounds is dropped faster than a failing college course prior to the “if you’re still registered it counts” deadline (*Author’s note: this is fast. I can vouch) and ends up stumbling backwards and launching his ass backwards across the court like a Space X rocket on rewind mode, sliding so far backwards he ends up back in Buffalo, New York. The referees, somehow sold on the fact that LeBron has been hit so hard as to turn his body into a Canadian Curling Stone, T-up Carroll and the King pouts Joffrey style as he exits the court, still using his body language to sub-tweet the shit out of anyone in Toronto.

The Extra Mile: I got drunk one time and ended up falling down the stairs into my tiny basement-located bedroom. I had decided — naturally — that I desperately needed a hot dog before I went to bed at 5 AM that morning and so my hands were full of a few dogs, some chips, and my mind was packed full of keg beer and dreams of blissfully mowing through some of Bar S.’ finest pork side-product. Instead, I tripped down the steps, tossed my hot dog up and over my TV (*Author’s note: only to be found 5 days later, when I was finally taking out my Die Hard DVD that I usually ran on loop mode) and I crashed into my movie collection, skinning both knees and ruining a perfectly bad hot dog breakfast. I woke up the next day with a raging hangover, late for work, and had to try to search my bedroom for missing food.

All this is to say: LeBron’s fall was somehow more dramatic than this.

FIN