MyMagicStars Wed 03-Jan-18 17:22:56

My DS is 27, DD is 19. We have other children, and are a big, close and happy family. DS is due to get married in a few days time.

He and DD are incredibly close. DS was adopted as a teenager, so I think their bond is because some of my older sons struggle to see him as a "brother" in the way DD does- they are all civil and very friendly, but I think the older boys did struggle slightly with jealousy. We never planned to adopt, but DS was a family friend's son, and had nobody else when his mum died when he was 13. I love him as I love all of my children, and he calls me "mum" and is every bit my wonderful son.

However, in planning the wedding, I'm beginning to think that the older boys could do with being involved more. Instead of a best man, DD is the "best girl". I suggested that she should be a bridesmaid, but she claims that she's her brother's best woman, and isn't nearly as close with his fiancée, although they like each other very much. DD's dress was chosen today (thanks DS for leaving it so late) and it's gorgeous, but very much a bridesmaid dress. The boys all have matching suits, and I feel it would be so much more suitable if they were DS' ushers.

DD has written a lovely speech and talks about the three families coming together, which is a very special touch. She and DS are currently out riding together, and are due to come in absolutely filthy any minute, and then put together some table favours.

I'm very excited for the wedding, but I do feel a bit odd about DDs role- am I just old fashioned? I have other DDs, and am not sure how I'd feel about this either. DS does have lots of male friends, but they're in the army, and it was difficult to find anyone who could be guaranteed to be free.