Our rating: By: Harland Version #: 1.0 Date Released: 2011-06-10 Developer: Price: 0.99 User Rating: Loading... Loading... Download App

You’d assume that an app claiming that its advice will result in girls being all over you and ensuring that you’re never lonely again would either a) acknowledge its own futility, or b) be intended to be treated ironically. Incredibly, StepToLove is neither of these, and genuinely see its advice as being key to a long and prosperous love life.

Before I get carried away with my own amusement at this app, I should say that it may come in handy for people aged 14-18. Despite referring to bars, partying and dating, some of the advice it gives is so fundamental (‘make eye contact when you talk,’ ‘shake hands with people’) that you’d have to be a hermit not to know these things already. Either that, or you’re a socially-stunted adolescent boy who’s masturbating away his teenage years in solitude; in which case, this app might be for you.

The interface is functional enough, dividing interaction with the opposite sex into 4 ‘levels’; level 1 being to ‘Improve yourself’, level 4 being ‘Invite them over.’ On the main screen it, there are also what could be described as emergency functions. The ‘escape from date’ button immediately makes your phone start ringing; which may look just a tad suspicious to your date, but since you’re looking to escape anyway, who cares what she thinks.

Then there is the ‘conversation topics’ button. So if you’re in the horrible situation of being on a date where no one is talking, and both of you are silently re-reading the menus even though you’ve already ordered your food, then you can sneakily whip out your phone, open the app, and pick a riveting topic of conversation such as your ‘favourite colour’ or ‘your phone’s ringtone.’ What a life-saver.

While some of the advice given in StepsToLove does amount to a basic level of banal interaction with the opposite sex, some of the advice is so brilliantly ludicrous that it’s hard to believe it’s not being humourous. A personal favourite of mine is saying ‘You look like you can cook’ in order to ‘provoke a conversation’ with a girl. In fairness, this could provoke an hour-long feminist debate, but more likely you’ll just get dismissed as a chauvinist pig. But the very best advice on offer has to be: if the girl starts to talk about something boring, smoothly change the topic of conversation by saying…

‘Cool, by the way,’ followed by a topic that you find interesting. Clearly the advice of a 21st-century casanova. Brilliant.

While StepsToLove may help people who are genuinely shy and terrified of the opposite sex, there is nothing useful here for an at least semi-functioning adult. That being said, I would not advise against buying this app, as its over-simplified and sometimes misguided view on male-female relations is endlessly amusing.

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