Guys, Dolls, and Feminism

Feminsts efforts to get boys to play with dolls wasn't wasted after all. . Turns out these days, after puberty has past and bank accounts have filled, more and more men are beginning to play with dolls, $8,000 sex dolls that is, in the privacy of their own homes.

Feminists everywhere should be screaming, “Hooray for sex dolls!” Three waves of feminism later, everything you ladies, and selected gentleman worked hard for has arrived.

All you Baby Boomers and Baby Busters told yourselves you would be the ones that would change the world. You were going to rip that G.I. Joe action figure from your son’s hands and replace it with a Barbie…wait that’s too objectifying. How about a Bratz? Nope they look like whores. Hell I don’t know, some kind of doll. But sadly, you found out that unless everyone was paralleling your actions, you wouldn’t be able to get your son’s dirty fingers around that busty blonde Barbie — unless no one was looking.

But maybe your efforts weren’t wasted after all. Turns out these days, after puberty has past and bank accounts have filled, more and more men are beginning to play with dolls, $8,000 sex dolls that is, in the privacy of their own homes. And here are some reasons third wave feminists, just might find this techno-sexual revolution empowering.

Let’s start with the pornography. First you may need a quick background in feminism. Second wave feminists said pornography led to violence. Third wave and sex-positive feminists had the balls to say, hey second wavers, not all porn is rape. Some porn is just sex! Good old fashioned sex. Hell, half of it is almost missionary anyways. Don’t act like you haven’t flicked the bean, second wavers. So in this sense, when a man is willing to pay eight large for even a speck of what a woman offers, take it as a compliment.

I’ll put it this way: remember the guitar you wanted one Christmas? You wanted to make beautiful music. So you learned some chords and strummed some rhythms, but when you put on Clapton you couldn’t top it. Ultimately, it made you appreciate his work that much more. Ladies, you’re like a beautiful instrument. Some men might want a sex doll — hell a few might even fall in love with them — but my guess is after awhile, they’re going to learn that these dolls don’t have emotions and intelligence, or anything else we value as human, so what’s the worry? See it as a practice for men, warming up for the big show: You!

And let’s not be hypocrites ladies — that ten inches of plastic you have in your sock drawer hasn’t stopped you from going on any dates, has it? The way I see it, the sex doll is just the male response to the dildo. A little revenge for the times you were too tired from the plastic stallion.

As for the idea of objectification, to second wave feminists it could be said that at least the entire body is presented and not just select parts, which is certainly not honoring women. It’s also more than can be said for female toys. You know men are more than just inches of vibrating plastic, right? And to third wave feminists who embrace objectification and consumerism — well, enough said.

Don’t forget that sex dolls are equal opportunity; meaning, there are sex dolls for women too. And in all fairness, I would prefer women used the rubber stud over the dildo, so we’re not objectified too. Feministly thinking, male sex dolls may just be the most empowering thing for feminism since it eliminates the need to pleasure a man, and instead a woman can focus on her needs, and hers alone.

So men grab your dolls, women grab your six-foot action figure, and let’s agree that this techno-sexual revolution could be an empowering step in the right direction. It really isn’t too far off the path we were already on; I mean don’t all human relationships eventually lead to lifeless robotic sex anyways?