Marco Gutierrez, the founder of Latinos For Trump. Photos courtesy of the author.

Marco Gutierrez, a co-founder of Latinos for Trump, became an Internet sensation when he told an MSNBC interviewer, “If Hillary Clinton is elected, there will be taco trucks on every corner in America.” Since then, he has been made into a meme, criticized by the left, and celebrated as one of the most vocal Latino Trump supporters.

I found his “taco trucks on every corner” comment funny and ridiculous — it’s like some stupid thing my drunk, slightly racist uncle would say at Thanksgiving dinner. But, as I do with most memes, I saw it, laughed, and ultimately forgot about it.

But when Gutierrez was later interviewed by SFGate, I realized this guy not only lives in the East Bay but also lives just a few short miles from me. At that moment, I knew it was my duty to track him down and ask him a bunch of absurd questions to see if he had any meme-worthy quotes left in him.

And he didn’t disappoint.

Me and Marco.

I met up with Gutierrez (and his daughter Amelia) at his favorite taqueria, Tortas Ahogadas in Oakley, California, a small delta town on the outer edge of the East Bay.

The Bold Italic: What inspired you to create Latinos for Trump?

Marco Gutierrez: What I found in my community is that for some reason everyone is a Democrat. I feel that the left has kidnapped the Latino community. So I just wanted to bring balance to the spectrum.

How did you end up on MSNBC?

I started doing a lot of work for the [Trump] campaign.

How did that happen?

Well, it goes back to the convention. I attended the Republican National Convention on behalf of the California delegation…Because of the work I’ve done prior to that, they allowed me to go.

I see. OK, let’s get to the real issues. Do you think Trump’s fake tan is actually a subtle outreach to Latino voters?

Uhh…hmm…I know he’s having a hard time appealing to the Hispanic community. But if he was, that’s a…that’s a good try I guess…(laughter)

Who won the recent presidential debate?

The most recent one? The mainstream media won.

So we actually agree on something. If you were a woman, would you still vote for Trump?

If I was a woman, would I still vote for Trump? Hmm…Wow, I never thought about that before.

“If Trump [grabbed my daughter], I would punch him right in his orange face.”

Given these recently leaked sexist recordings, is Trump still a choice you would consider?

Yeah, definitely. You know, because he knows how to touch a woman…It would make me a very rich woman. Well, at least he says that, you know.

So if you were a woman, you would approve of Trump grabbing you by the pussy?

[At this point in the interview, his daughter interjects and shouts, “WHAT IF DONALD TRUMP DID THAT TO ME?” Marco’s usually smiling face suddenly becomes very grave as he looks to his daughter and says, “If Trump did that to you, I would punch him right in his orange face.”]

That’s a fantastic answer. How would you rate Donald Trump’s hair, out of 10?

I’m not a big hair person, but, you know, probably about a 9.

His hair is a 9! So you’re saying Donald Trump has nearly perfect hair.

Yes, almost perfect.

If Trump were to kick out all the Latinos, would it make America great again, or would it make Mexican food bad again?

If he kicks out all the Latinos, they’re just going to come right back, so Mexican food is forever safe.

If Trump were a type of Mexican food, what type would he be?

He would be like a super burrito. Yeah, with lots of sauce on top. Very spicy orange sauce.

Is there a type of food you’d be OK with on every corner?

Uhh…probably taco trucks.

What!?

Yeah. Taco trucks are fine with me.

If Donald Trump were to become president, would you agree with his proposal to change the name of the green card to the Trump card?

Is that really a proposal of his?

Absolutely. Well, I certainly hope so. It sounds like something he would do.

It has a ring to it. Donald Trump is a genius at branding. It would probably make more immigrants come to America because everyone wants their own Trump card.

There’s a conspiracy on the Internet that Donald Trump is running for president only to turn the White House into a presidential hotel and casino. How would you react if that happened?

Well,(laughter), I know he’s definitely going to make some changes. But I don’t think so…I don’t know if he’d do that.

Who would win in a fistfight: El Chapo or Trump?

EL CHAPO!

[At this point Amelia interjects: “El Chapo would whoop him!”]

To be honest, between El Chapo, who is known as a murderous drug kingpin, and Trump, who is everything wrong with American culture, I honestly don’t know who to root for morally.

OH, COME ON! What is it with you millennials?