A Labour MP has called for a change in passport regulations after she was stopped with her daughter at UK border control until her husband joined them, because she did not have the same surname in her passport as her child.

Tulip Siddiq, the MP for Hampstead and Kilburn, said regulations that can lead to border agents detaining mothers who do not share their child’s surname, in order to guard against child trafficking, were distressing and time-consuming.

Siddiq found that an estimated 600,000 women over the last five years had been asked to prove they were related to their children when taking their families through UK border control, leaving many stranded for hours if they did not have marriage or birth certificates or were travelling without their partners.

The problem is likely to become more common as women are increasingly likely to keep their maiden name after marriage. Around one in seven women say they intend to keep their name after marriage, according to recent research by YouGov. A separate survey found that just 4% of women intended to give their children their maiden name rather than the father’s name.

Siddiq has written to the Home Office to ask for children’s passports to be amended to contain both their parents’ names to avoid confusion at airports and borders.

“Things are changing and the law needs to catch up,” she said. “I want to find a way to change this. I don’t know why I should be penalised for not changing my name. I got married aged 30, I lived my life, I had a reputation under my maiden name.

“I understand why these precautions need to be taken, it’s to stop people taking advantage of vulnerable children and I get that. I don’t want to stop anything that prevents abuse of children. But what I do think is that the law needs to recognise more and more children will not have their mothers’ surnames.”

Siddiq was returning from a family holiday in France with her husband, Chris Percy, and their 18-month-old daughter, Azalea, when she was separated from Percy and permitted to go through the fast-track queue to board the Eurostar with her pushchair.

Though she exited French border control without any issue, Siddiq was stopped at the UK border immediately before boarding the train.

“My daughter looks quite different to me, she looks like her dad,” she said. “At the UK border the man looked at my passport for a long time and my daughter’s passport and he said: ‘Who is this girl?’

“I was really surprised by the question, and he repeated it, and I said: ‘This is my daughter,’ and he asked why we don’t have the same name. He also asked for my marriage certificate and my birth certificate.

“There was a lot of discussion, and other asks for documents. I went back and the whole thing was very tense, my daughter was crying and saying ‘mama, mama’ but that didn’t seem to be what would convince him.”

Siddiq said the delay for people in the queue behind and the tone of the questioning had left her feeling uncomfortable. “It wasn’t exactly hostile but there was a real air of suspicion, I was made to feel like I had done something wrong,” she said. “And they said I could leave my child with them when I went to look for my husband.”

The MP said the current procedure made women feel vulnerable and also caused delays for travellers as well as an extra burden for border agents, which could be eliminated by writing the parents’ names in a child’s passport, a change of the regulations that would not require legislation.

“It would make life easier for border agents and it would mean parents didn’t feel under suspicion at the border gates,” she said. “I don’t want my daughter to have to go through that kind of questioning as she grows older because it won’t happen with her father, only with me. I don’t think it’s a good message to send to young women.

“It’s a very uncomfortable experience and you are made to feel like you have done something wrong, by travelling on a family holiday as a woman who hasn’t changed her last name. I do wonder what would have happened if my husband hadn’t been there. My daughter and I do travel on our own. What would have happened next? Would they have let us go?”

The Home Office said: “We have a duty to safeguard children and to prevent people trafficking, child sexual exploitation and other crimes committed against children. That is why Border Force staff need to determine whether the adult travelling with the child has parental responsibility or parental authority had been given to travel with the child.

“We aim to do this quickly and with as minimal disruption to passengers as possible and that is why we encourage all parents to make use of the ‘Emergencies’ page in their child’s passport where names and contact details of parents can be written.”