Chapter 43

Now they sat on the bed, Weiss once again in the middle, Ruby cradling a box of tissues. Looking at her lovers, Weiss took strength from their reassuring smiles, and swallowed. "I never...never even told Neon the whole story. She never asked and I never told but...you both deserve to know everything. She does too...maybe another time. As you already know, my parents, Jacques and Willow, died in a plane crash when I was twelve. A lot happened afterward, and no matter how distant I believed we were, I still loved them. The stress of the situation, the shock and confusion, the funeral, left me...pained. Winter was grieving, in her own way, working herself till exhaustion and crying in the shower so I wouldn't see. I didn't need to see. She isn't a delicate crier."

Ruby could not tell if she was allowed to be amused at that.

"Winter sold off the company, along with any assets she deemed unnecessary, moved us into a new house far away from the spotlight, and enrolled me in the first high school I agreed to. I can't remember what choices she even gave me, I just looked at the first one with red brick and mumbled. I know she was worried about me, but I didn't want to be a burden. I just wanted to...sink into the ground and fall asleep."

Weiss took a tissue to dab at her eyes, and felt Blake and Ruby press just a little closer. "When I did sleep, I'd have nightmares. Stupid, I know, I was neither in nor near the crash, but I'd flown numerous times before and...I'd open my eyes, and I was on the plane, alone, everything falling apart around me. I'd scream, blink, and I was the one in the coffin, cold, pale, with mother, father and Winter crying over me...the nightmares would wake me up and then I'd be afraid to sleep again. Suffice it to say, I was sleep deprived."

Weiss managed a choked laugh, pulling fresh tissues from the box. "And when you're the new girl in school, being the small, quiet, drowsy and sad one who started a month late, well, you're not in the best of places to make friends, or even pleasant conversation. I just wanted to be left alone, and I got my wish. Snap and glare at people enough and they give you a wide berth." Weiss gave Ruby a sly glance and a watery grin. "I was alone, emotionally numb, going through the motions. Sleep through half the night, have a nightmare, lie in bed until morning, breakfast, school, home, dinner, repeat...one day in art class, I cut myself with a pen knife."

Weiss held up her right index finger, a faint scar ran across the skin. Ruby had never noticed it before. "I wasn't paying attention, something startled me and...suddenly I felt, so good, and it hurt, but I felt alive for the first time in months...but by the time it was bandaged, the feeling had gone away. I felt empty again. And it felt worse now, like a starving man given a slice of bread, one slice...it wasn't enough, I wanted more. Winter would leave in the evenings to train with Ironwood, self defense she said, at the time I thought they were having an affair, but that didn't matter, I had the home to myself for hours...and…"

Weiss closed her eyes, gritting her teeth. She swallowed the sob that threatened to escape her throat, and hooked her thumbs into her skirt, a baby blue number, pushing it down to her knees and kicking it off. Next came her tights, thick, dark and warm, the last line of defense not only from the cold, but the ugly truth. She could not help but blush as her underwear was revealed, simple, dark blue lace, but then her thighs began to show, and she heard Ruby's breath hitch.

"If I suddenly began wearing long sleeves all the time Winter would have noticed, but even then, I always wore skirts and tights...so my thighs were the best choice." Spreading her legs, Weiss better revealed the angry red and purple lines between her legs, some thicker than others, but surprisingly uniform in length. Weiss clasped her trembling hands together.

"Weiss." Ruby sighed.

"Now I-I know, scars, not as bad as Blake's, n-not that your scars are unattractive Blake...I a-actually find you all the more beautiful for them a-and mine are self inflicted." Weiss rambled. "I did this to myself, though I did at the very least keep them neat, not like some of the disorderly messes people make of themselves."

"Weiss." Blake cut in.

"Weiss, slow down, breathe." Ruby advised.

Weiss choked a laugh as Blake and Ruby both looped their arms through hers. She took their hands in her own and clenched. "I was so stupid, I was supposed to be smarter than that. I did it in the shower so it was easy to clean up, and bandaged myself afterward. I thought I had it under control and I felt good. I thought I'd get better and stop but it didn't stop...it just kept coming back, worse and worse, and I'd cut deeper and deeper…"

Weiss' voice gave out. Ruby abandoned the tissue box to wrap her free arm around Weiss as Blake snuggled closer, nuzzling her hair and whispering calming words into her ear. Curling into herself, Weiss quietly shook, her voice dropping to barely a whisper. "I didn't realize it was taking more of a physical toll. I was already eating poorly, add the blood loss and...and one day I cut too deep. The next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital bed, Winter passed out by my side. When it hit me, when I realized what happened, I was a mess. Then Winter woke, and she was angry, at herself for not pushing harder, at me for not trusting her, but more than anything she was terrified she'd almost lost me."

Weiss sniffled. "I was all she had, I was her everything, she was doing everything to ensure we had a good life, a healthier life, and I was throwing it away because I was too scared to just talk, to talk, to my own sister, the only person in my life who'd shown me unconditional love." Weiss fell silent, shaking with more, barely audible sobs. Ruby reached up to pull the pin from Weiss' hair, combing her fingers through the long ivory strands. Blake nuzzled within, planting a kiss on the back of her neck. These acts seemed to calm the sobbing girl, enough to continue.

"We talked, about how I felt, about how Winter felt, and for the first time since the accident we grieved together...until the psychologist came. Clinical depression. Psh, as if I hadn't realized that, my family has always had issues...of the psyche...they wanted me to take pills. I...did not react entirely reasonably. I understand the medication is supposed to treat illness, but...I just...I wanted to overcome this, or at least try to overcome it naturally. So, after a few days of observation, that's what we did."

Weiss shifted. Letting go of Blake's hand she reached for the tissues Ruby had let drop, allowing Weiss to blow her nose. Uncurling, she reached down to pull up her tights and sit cross legged between her lovers. Taking a deep breath, she continued. "Winter and I became much closer from then on. She stopped training with Ironwood, with whom she was not having an affair. He's gay as a rainbow, but not half as colorful."

Ruby giggled, and Weiss managed a smile. "We did everything together, taking some time off school. They understood. Depressed or no, I was well known for my work ethic. What's a little homework? Winter and I could poke fun at its simplicity together." Blake and Ruby both rolled their eyes. "I began sleeping in her bed, so when the nightmares came she could soothe me. I hadn't slept with her since I was a child. It used to get so cold in the manor. We took to trying new things together, taking drives through the city, picking stores at random, though cafes quickly became our favorite. Though I was accustomed to tea beforehand, I grew to adore it served with a homemade caramel slice."

"Ooh, mum makes a great caramel slice." Ruby declared. "Next time we visit she could teach us!"

"Dibs!" Blake called.

"I'd really like that...that's...that's actually how we met Blake." Weiss went on. "It scares me to think, we almost stayed in that day. I'd been getting better, but sometimes I'd be so lethargic. Winter and I would just stay curled up in bed with some snacks and a movie. But that day Winter pushed me, we found the cafe close to the station and...then I saw Blake, and the rest...we've come so far Blake. I'm so glad we found you. Being able to help you, to give you a family, it gave us so much joy." Weiss reached around her partners' waists, pulling them close again. "I'm glad my family has grown so large in so little time. I love you all so much."

"We love you too Weiss...I hope you can meet my dad, he'd love you both." Ruby smiled.

"Maybe someday, only time will...Blake, what's wrong?" Weiss noticed Blake's vice-like grip on her hand. She could feel Blake's heart pounding, a distant look in her eyes.

"When I was thirteen I ran away from the foster home I'd been assigned to." Blake blurted, closing her eyes and swallowing. Ruby reached over to lay a hand on her thigh, and she continued. "I was just a payday to them, they treated me like shit, abused me, so I decided I'd be better off on the streets. I'm not sure they ever even tried to find me when I left. After a few months I was doing well enough. I knew where to find decent food, where I could sleep safely and all that. I was still concerned about what I'd do when it got cold, but that was a future problem. Then I started to feel strange, my body was doing stuff it never had before...I asked some of the other homeless Faunus and they told me I was going through pre-heat.

"I didn't know much about heat, but I knew I didn't want to have it on the street. I wasn't sure what to do, but someone suggested heroin. Opioids suppress heat, and that was the only one I could get easy access to, so I used what little money I had to buy it, just enough to get me through my heat." Blake took a shaky breath. "I didn't plan to keep using, but by the time my heat was over I was addicted. Before that I could usually make money doing odd jobs, enough to have a good meal most days, and sometimes even enough to get new clothes. The drugs made that harder, and what little I did make all went to getting more drugs.

"It didn't take long to run out, and I still needed my fix. I begged my dealer to help me out, to give me a shot and let me pay him later. He refused, but made an offer. If I went to live with him and did everything he told me to, he'd give me all the drugs I wanted, free of charge. He'd even buy me food." Blake looked at Weiss and Ruby with teary eyes, pleading for understanding. "How could I say no? Free drugs, a roof over my head, I wouldn't have to go hungry anymore...I mean, I knew what he meant by everything - I wasn't a virgin - but I figured it was a fair trade. And if it was just sex...I probably would have been alright. I might even still be with him.

Blake's breath hitched as Ruby shifted, moving to flank her feline partner, it was her turn to be wrapped in arms, giving Blake the strength to continue. "At first everything was great. He set me up in this big house. It was a little empty and dirty, but better than anything I'd ever known before. He gave me all the food I wanted and the drugs...and I could live with having to fuck him. Then...then it started to go really wrong. He would...h-hit me during sex. After a while, he started...started cutting me too, usually with his claws, sometimes with a knife. Sometimes he would even burn my skin too. H-he never touched my face, nor my ears, except to hold me still, but he tortured my body, said it belonged to him...I belonged to him." Blake's entire body was trembling, eyes squeezed shut, teeth gritted.

"Blakey, look at me." Ruby pleaded. Blake cracked her eyes open, to see watery silver before her, a shaky smile on her face. "I love you, we both love you, you don't belong to anyone, not to him, not to us. You're a free woman, a strong woman, you're doing so well. You can keep going, I have faith in you."

"We have faith in you." Weiss added. "Let it out, let everything out."

Blake felt Weiss nuzzle into her neck, returning the kiss she planted before, she choked a chuckle. "Thank you...I-I know this is a lot, and I could have picked a better time, but I'm just so sick of keeping this from you. You have to look at my scars every day and wonder, and you never push, and I'll forever be grateful for that."

"There's never a better time Blake." Weiss encouraged. "It was always going to be when you were ready."

Blake nodded, sucking in a deep breath. "I came so close to running a few times. He didn't live in the house, and he only really showed up to fuck me or restock the food and drugs, so I could have. But whenever I was ready to leave, he would apologize, tell me how much he loved me, take me out to dinner, buy me more clothes and pump me full of heroin. He'd warn me about how bad it would be to have to go it alone again, and I would just agree and try to put any thought of fleeing out of my head.

"After a little more than a year, it finally got to be too much. He beat me so badly I lost consciousness. When I woke up her was in the middle of...of…" Blake shuddered. "He didn't even apologize. I complained, and he strangled me. I thought I was going to die but then after everything went dark I woke up again. He smacked me around, choked me out again. He kept doing it, calling me ungrateful, worthless. Then I guess he got bored, because he left. I knew I couldn't stay anymore.

"As soon as his car was out of sight I made a run for it. I didn't prepare ahead of time, and I was still weak from the beating. I didn't get very far. He found me as I was trying to make it to a hospital. He grabbed me and took me back. At the house he burned all my clothes. It was the middle of winter, so he figured I wouldn't be able to leave without them. Then he locked me in a closet, left me in there for hours. Then he opened the door and started beating me again, threw me on the floor and...pulled out a knife."

Blake let go of Weiss' hand to pull up her shirt, revealing the most serious of her scars. "And sliced down my chest. He said he wasn't going to let me get away again, that he was going to make me pay for running away. I knew he was going to kill me...I just knew it. But then he got a call on his scroll. He had to leave but he chained me to a hot radiator before he left. I knew if I just stayed there I wouldn't survive, so I fought and fought, and I finally got free. I glued my wound closed, stole some of his clothes and grabbed anything of value I could find. Luckily I found a few lien, enough to pay bus fare to Atlas and then some."

Blake paused to get her breathing back under control. Ruby fumbled around for the tissue box, Blake managing a tired smile as she took several, wiping her face and blowing her nose. Weiss and Ruby each took one for themselves.

"I got as far away as possible, the longest bus I could afford took me to Atlas, but when I got there I was still terrified. I knew he would come after me. I didn't dare go to any shelters or talk to any of the other homeless. But I was starving, and the withdrawals were starting to really hit me. I was half scared the barista was going to call the police on me, I could barely order...but she didn't, and that coffee was one of the most beautiful tasting things I'd ever had in my life...I thought it might be my last...and that's when Weiss found me...that's...that's when she saved me."

Blake linked her hand in Weiss' again. "I love you." Weiss smiled fondly, returning the look as best she could, though her lip shook.

"I love you too." Blake declared.

They were both distracted by a muffled sob, and turned to find Ruby, her face buried in Blake's shoulder. "I-I'm sorry Blakey...just...I love you so much a-and that monster hurt you and I asked you to...to hurt me too, and I'm sorry I made you-"

"Don't, Ruby." Blake insisted. "You never made me do anything. What we do is not the same thing. He never loved me. He knew I had no control. He treated me like a pet, abused me like a toy, and lied to my face. You never lie to me, and I never lie to you. The one time things went too far you backed off and let it go. And yes, for a while I was afraid, but you pulled me back, you made me feel strong Ruby, you always make me feel strong. You are my strength. Don't ever doubt yourself. You have done nothing wrong to me, and you never will."

Ruby nodded, clenching Blake's hand and hugging her tighter. Blake shot a tight grin at Weiss, letting go to pull Ruby into her lap, allowing them both to run finger through her hair until the hitching stopped and Ruby relaxed into their warmth.

"I...may have...looked through your backup storage Ruby." Weiss admitted.

Ruby perked up, both her and Blake fixing Weiss with a surprised stare. "My ladybug USB? The one you found?" Weiss nodded biting her lip. "How...much did you look at?" Blake bit her lip too.

"Just your art...and references...people references...Yang and Pyrrha and Raven and N-Nora and...Blake…"

Blake laughed and Ruby whined, hiding her face in Blake's chest. "You saw Yang and Nora being weird exes didn't you?"

"Y-yeah." Weiss nodded. "I wasn't sure if that was before or after the breakup, but they seemed really close."

"Nora wasn't wearing a bra and didn't tell me." Ruby sighed.

"You liked it." Blake smirked.

"Nnnnn she's like a sister to...oh...uh...Weiss?" Ruby struggled.

"Yes Ruby?" Weiss responded.

"Uh...I may have uh...well...how do you feel about incest?" Ruby asked.

Weiss' eyebrows rocked upward, disappearing behind the fringe of her hair. She gaped, mouth bobbing like a fish before she closed it and her eyes, clearing her throat and shaking her head. "Do elaborate."

Blake and Ruby exchanged a glance, Blake looked to be on the verge of laughter again, Ruby pouted. "Yang was depressed because of Nora, and I was depressed because of my ex, Penny. I got drunk off some of mum's wine, Yang came home from bar hopping and I vented aaaaaand we banged. B-but we've never done it again, I mean, we love each other a lot and maybe, just maybe, in another life where we weren't related things might have gone farther, but we live this life and we're sisters so we couldn't do that so we didn't, and we won't. I just didn't want to keep something like this secret because we're letting everything out and I already told Blake and-"

Weiss raised her hand, silencing Ruby's rambling. "You were drunk?" Ruby nodded. "Blake, how do you feel about this?"

"I won't lie, I found it hot." Blake replied.

Weiss sighed in exasperation, running her hands down her face. "Alright, fine, drunk, wine, I sympathize. Just…let's not talk about that again."

"I can do that...I mean...not...do that." Ruby struggled.

"Can I still fantasize about you and Winter making out?" Blake asked.

"Ugh Blake!" Weiss groaned. Blake laughed, and pulled Weiss into a three-way hug. Weiss did not struggle, but she certainly frowned, be it halfheartedly. "You're lucky I love you." She grumbled.

"We both are sweetie." Blake pecked Weiss on the forehead and chuckled some more.

"Uh, guys." Ruby spoke up.

"Yes Ruby?" Weiss asked.

"How are we gonna' tell everyone?" Ruby asked.

They all tensed.

"Oh." Blake sighed.

Weiss frowned, looking at the floor. "Fudge."