Donald Trump has gotten a lot of mileage styling himself as the Justin Timberlake of yuletide greetings, claiming to bring “Merry Christmas” back from the dirty hordes who make war on our Lord and Savior’s birthday by viciously wishing people “Happy Holidays.”

At the risk of disillusioning Trump fans who are still reeling from his refusal to read the words “I believe in God” off of a funeral program, it is our sad duty to report that Trump himself was among those Christmas-crushing monsters, even after he stopped being a Democrat. [Pauses for mass MAGA fainting spell]

Way back in 2012, Trump responded to a tweet from an admirer with his first-ever use of either holiday phrase. Can you guess which one he chose?

@shanesgranny Thanks and Happy Holidays. — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 27, 2012



Trump’s first use of the phrase “Merry Christmas” on Twitter (or anywhere else, according to Factbase) occurred the following day, but not to wish anyone a happy Jesus’ birthday. No, he was simply quoting the headline to a poll on the all-important debate:

7 of 10 Americans prefer ‘Merry Christmas’ over ‘Happy Holidays’ http://t.co/Xjimd3KU No surprise. — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 28, 2012



This is where Trump’s Christmas War crimes get serious, because even after he found out how deeply offensive it is to say “Happy Holidays,” he freaking did it again:



In fact, Trump was wishing “Happy Holidays” to a guy who worked for the paper that promoted the War on Christmas poll that he had just tweeted. To make matters worse, in subsequent years, Trump repeatedly retweeted others wishing him “Happy Holidays,” with nary a rebuke for the offense.

Eventually, politics intruded. On September 25, 2015, Trump rolled out his new pro-Christmas platform at the conservative Values Voter Summit [see clip above], ignoring his own past crimes by telling the audience “I love Christmas, I love Christmas. You go to stores now, you don’t see the word Christmas. It says Happy Holidays, all over. I say where’s Christmas? I tell my wife don’t go to those stores. I want to see Christmas. No, I want to see Christmas.”

Then, Trump cut to the resentment at the heart of the War on Christmas, telling the crowd that “other people can have their holidays, no, but, but Christmas is Christmas. I want to see Merry Christmas.”

Among the “other people” to whom Trump is referring are Jewish people, including First Daughter Ivanka Trump. She converted to Judaism years ago, prior to marrying Jared Kushner. Ivanka is also a senior official in the Trump administration. And yet as recently as last year, she continued to defy Trump’s War on Christmas policy by wishing her Twitter followers “Happy Holidays.”



That tweet was the continuation of a years-long pattern of debasing Christmas by firing off “Happy Holidays” tweets with the abandon of an ED-209 on a meth bender.

But the mass grave of “Happy Holidays” skeletons in the Trump closet doesn’t end with Ivanka. First Son Eric Trump has been thumbing his nose at Jesus for years as well, while simultaneously promoting demon liquor:



And in a shocking twist, Eric even went out of his way to snub Easter!

Hope everyone had a great & relaxing weekend. I know Charlie did. Happy holidays… pic.twitter.com/N2ecdYbE — Eric Trump (@EricTrump) April 9, 2012



Like Pontius Pilate before him, Trump is trying to wash his hands of the bloody havoc that he and his family have inflicted on the Christmas battlefield. But like the shining Star of Bethlehem that guided three wise men to a little manger on the first Christmas, Advanced Twitter Search blazes the path to truth for all wise Americans. Happy Holidays!

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.