Well good for you! You read quality publications like the New York Times. Isn’t it amazing that after all these years, our country is under threat from Russia again? We need a strong military to stop these terrible enemies. And we have got to take action against these constant cyberthreats, targeting our most beloved institutions.

We have to stop the guns, too! Why, every time we turn around someone with a gun has murdered kids in a school, nightclub — even on their front porch!

Half the time, it’s a cop who shot them.

Hillary Clinton, 1 September 2016

We need more law enforcement and military strength to stop the cyberattacks, terrorisms and leaks!

Also, we need to be concerned about racism. Racism is a curse upon our world, and building walls between our country and Mexico is extreme racism.

The best way to be a non-racist is to notify everyone on the planet who is not in a coma who the real racist is!

Racists like Donald Trump must never be allowed anywhere near sensitive, top-secret information, much less any type of power or decision-making ability. Latinos, blacks and other people of color will never vote for a racist like Donald Trump or anyone outside of the Democratic Party. They know that white liberal leaders know what is best for them.

Intelligent people won’t support that woman Jill Stein, either. She is an idiot, just like that mean, angry old man Bernie Sanders. I heard she’s against vaccinations! Is she some kind of doctor or something? I don’t know why they’d let her be on television at all. Free college for all? People should pay their way! How can we afford free college anyway? We have to pay for cybersecurity, the war on drugs and terrorism, safe streets, and other things you don’t need to worry or think about like Social Security and public education (we might need to privatize them — no worries — it’s working great with prisons!).

Listen, did you hear about Trump? He won’t release his tax returns. He called Mexicans “taco bowls” — can you believe that? Taco bowls! What a racist! He’s just like Hitler. He admitted he paid money to politicians to get favors. How corrupt! He filed for bankruptcy, I don’t know — three or four times. Look how fat he is! He’s so unhealthy. His hair? Please. And his skin — so orange!

These comments written on article about Trump speaking at AA church, AA church members accused of making “Nazi” salute at end of service.

Did you hear about that swimmer kid from Stanford who raped the girl and only got 6 months in jail? How could they give him such a short sentence? Rape is wrong! We stand for a woman’s right to choose and equal pay. We are feminists! I read Joe Biden’s letter to the rape victim, didn’t you? That made me cry. We really need to pay more attention to why girls are getting raped so often. They should be more careful about going out by themselves at night.

The Grim Sleeper — never heard of him.

Some woman at work said there were 20,000 rape kits unprocessed by the Los Angeles Police Department at one time.

Where?

Oh that’s out west. That’s where Ray-Gun came from. What do you expect!

Then there was that article about how men are sexually harassing women on long overseas flights. The nerve of those guys! No woman should have to tolerate sexual harassment — especially not on the job.

Did you read that article about how she had chased after an older married man before she went to Washington? She did! What a slut! She is lucky she didn’t end up dead somewhere, going after our President like that. She said she fell in love with him. What a liar! I bet she was a Russian plant.

Just like Putin and Trump and that Wikileaks. I used to think that Julian Assange was okay, but then I read about how he is a rapist and that’s why he’s in hiding in addition to being a traitor to the United States. What? He put out all that information about the Iraq war and all the crooked deals the Shrub did? Well maybe somebody paid him like Trump.

Don’t you hate George Bush? He got us into all those wars. He was in charge during 9–11. He and his cronies caused the recession. Yeah, that was bad. Not around here. We have so many brokerages, banks, finance companies, insurance companies and government contractors.

Remember when Todd and Katie lost their house? Whatever happened to them?

He became a truck driver? They moved back to her hometown in Pennsylvania?

Well at least they’re not homeless!

I heard Todd turned Repugnican. They’re going to some church now? Oh. He’s probably an NRA member. I bet they own assault rifles.

Did you hear the latest about Trump? He eats fried chicken with a fork!

Hillary will win in a landslide and we’ll have Bill in the White House again.

Clinton ordered hundreds of drone strikes via Blackberry [FBI report 2 September 2016]

Child killed by US drone in Waziristan 2011

Syria today (28 August 2016)

Libya today (25 June 2016 Russian photo)

We can’t afford college for all.

I know some people want to raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour, but everybody’s got to start out somewhere. Maybe we can make a few gradual improvements. I always make sure to tip at least 10 percent.

Besides, Hillary Clinton is endorsed by the best people — good and smart people like Warren Buffett. He said we had to raise taxes on the rich because his secretary paid more taxes than he did! What a great, charitable guy. Not like those Repugnicans.

Bill and Hillary are the most caring, charitable people ever.

Look at all they’ve done for Haiti after that terrible earthquake!

Hillary Clinton reflects my values perfectly. I’m a white liberal.

No worries. Perfect!