FAIRFAX, VA—Citing its longtime commitment to the promotion of safety among firearm enthusiasts, the National Rifle Association published a series of pointers Tuesday on how to keep safe while carrying out a mass shooting. “Every gun owner should know the NRA’s fundamental safety rules so they can avoid being tackled or disarmed in the middle of their deadly spree,” said spokesperson Dana Loesch, explaining that guns should always be loaded, held with a finger on the trigger, and pointed in the direction of anyone trying to stop a shooter from unleashing carnage at a shopping mall, house of worship, of former place of employment. “Before you go spraying bullets from an AR-15 into the crowd at a concert, make sure you familiarize yourself with the venue’s entrances and exits, chaining them shut if possible. Also identify restrooms or stairwells where you can barricade yourself and reload before reemerging to make your final stand against law enforcement.” Loesch added a reminder to stretch before mass shootings to avoid pulling a hamstring or twisting an ankle while exercising one’s Second Amendment rights.

Advertisement