November 30th 2015

UOS announces ‘Project Alpha’

The United Occidental States has announced what it calls ‘Project Alpha’, providing viewers with images. The images released appear to show a flying object, capable of unleashing TNT and lava on the ground below.

Image provided by UOS leader ncordo

Image provided by UOS leader ncordo

TNT.. spooky. Image provided by UOS leader ncordo

Image provided by UOS leader ncordo

Image provided by UOS leader ncordo

Rijeka and Picarona

Earlier today, the holy state of Picarona declared war upon the Rijekan Empire. This was due to the Emperor of Rijeka, MasterOfParadox taking up a different form of Cubism, ‘Novicubism’.

Picarona troops raided Rijeka, destroying many of the stored supplies. Soon after, the Emperor of Rijeka, MasterOfParadox (our reporters were unsure whether we should have put this in the paper: his irrelevancy was a little difficult to deal with), declared that Novicubism has now been renounced.

Draconis awarded to the papacy

Draconis has been given as a Cubist territory, however, one without a core. hthor35, former leader of Draconis announced that

As of now, Draconis is by all rights a Cubist territory. Without a core it shall remain a territory until Picarona fully initiates it into its nation. By law Draconis and all its resources belong to Picarona, its people will be free to chose to stay or to leave. Should anyone disagree with this take your actions now or forever hold your peace.

Bonkill declares war

Following the peace offer made by Arcation, Bonkill has declared war on Arcation, due to Arcation’s raid on 6ix territory. The formal declaration of war included a lot of swearing, and since this is a relatively clean newspaper, our editor has omitted it from the paper. It is unclear how many people have taken up arms against Arcation as of yet.

sweeks131, a former 6ix member who was pearled by Arcation was released for “good behavior” yesterday.

This is now a confirmed shitpost, good job Bonkill.

If anybody would like an interview, please contact AquaTheAdmiral on Reddit