Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s.



WALSH

Transfers:

OUT: Iheanacho and Clyne

IN (For a -4 points hit): Carroll and Alonso

I’ve thrown my hands up in the air and reconciled that Nacho was a failed punt. He may well start these next two….or not….either way I don’t want to take the risk. I’d rather gamble on someone with great fixtures and a high upside play with Carroll. He looked good against Burnley and Bilic loves him more than his wife and cigarettes. Hopefully he is fit enough for another start and smashes it. I’m thinking that he can do some damage with HUL, swa on the cards and it feels better than keeping Nacho. Even if I am giving away four points. Fuck it. Origi was the more obvious replacement but I wanted the extra money as it allowed me to stretch Clyne up to Alonso. A slight risk for Alonso starting on such short turnaround at Palace but with 9 days off before their next game I’m hoping that Conte sticks with his strongest side. Either way, similar to my Toby transfer last week, this one is for the long haul. An OOP Alonso is clearly the crown jewel of the Chelsea defense and I’ll probably hold him for a long time. Clyne has a bad fixture and a bad fixture run so I have no problem getting rid at this time. The hit sucks but I feel like it’s time to get more aggressive and go for some upside points plays. Taking out two guys who have a low chance of returning this weekend for two guys who have a good chance. Let us fuck.

GK: Fuckford. Finally a good fixture. Please get more than 3 points you ging. Starting to grow tired of him as a solo job. Might see if I can get away with getting a better keeper at some point in the near future.

DEF: I’m properly heavy in defense now and it feels great. Toby, Alonso, and Van Dick will go for me this weekend. Not much to say about it. Three great defensive teams and three guys with a great shout for an attacking return against anyone. I still have Holebas as cover and I finally feel like my defense is properly settled. Maybe an outside shout to start Holes over VVD as his fixture is better but it’s hard to not back Southampton defense right now. They’ve been incredibly tight and look like they can clean against anyone.

MID: Hopefully Hazard starts. People are actually selling him so I hope that continues. He’s going to be in for a while in my squad along with Alexis. I’m going to be ultra patient with them both as their class will always come through. I’m still sticking with Firmino and Can. Hopefully the Derby is a mad game on Monday night under the lights with goals. Can I expect to return to the starting eleven and even though the price drops hurt Bobby still has looked pretty good and is nailed on for 90 if nothing else. It doesn’t feel great and might be Bobby’s farewell game for me but hopefully my Liverpool boys return some points. With Adam and Divock blanks, please.

FWD: If Kane doesn’t return this weekend I don’t know what I will do with my life. Costa and Carroll make up the rest of my striker trio. I already have an eye towards removing Kane for Ibra next week so we’ll see if that comes to pass. Carroll can end up as a disaster as he often does but when he’s fit and starting he usually just returns points. Hopefully I’m getting him in early before a couple of points hauls. Go on Andy.

CAP: Kane. As discussed on the pod there is no other choice for me. I hate Kane and he’s a piece of shit but I got him basically to cap for these two games. He could hat trick this weekend against a shit Burnley on the road. Or he’ll blank again. We don’t know, but I’m playing the fixture.

ALON

Transfers:

OUT: Koscielny, Kolarov, Anichebe

IN (For a -4 points hit): Toby, Phil Jones, Carroll

So I’m a fucker. What more can be said? I had my plans and I talked about my level-headed plans on the pod but I’m a fucker who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. I’ve been wanting to get rid of Kos/Kol for seriously months at this point but haven’t had the chance to so in that sense it feels great. But taking a hit to do it is not ideal… What came through the wire this morning was that both Anichebe and Matip (also in my squad) could miss their fixtures this weekend, very sketchy news on both of them. Also they both have low points potentials in general in their respective fixtures (Anichebe just sucks). So making two moves in defense to prevent having to start Kos or Kol (playing each other) and/or Amat which is always a nightmare felt good. That feels like I can makeup the -4 hit already right there with one clean from Toby or Jones, which is likely. And then that left me with a lot of money but no one calling out to me. I was still rocking Vic Anich and De Roon as my 5th midfielder. It felt tooooooooo passive to me to not make a move on either of them with 2.1 mil in the bank I just had to figure out who and I crawled back into bed with the highest of ponytails in Andy Carroll. Hull and Swans in the immediate-term followed by Leicester and Palace in the mid-term it feels like a very high ceiling there. What the fuck am I doing time will tell. But I’m off the biggest ‘mare of my season so hopefully I can get some fucking points this week and rebound.

GK: I mean it is known. Lee Grant is a god. Some sort of god / legend. It’s gonna suck when I have to make a keeper move soon or start Pickford regularly. Both are nightmares.

DEF: Two new great friends. Walsh and I both going in on Toby feels very fun. He’s a huuuuge differential everyone on earth has Walker on Spurs defense so hopefully he gets benched and/or a red card. Toby on the other hand is a class above, can score/assist as well as any CB. The Belg Bonucci. Joining him is another new friend Phil Jones who I’ve been shouting out for weeks now. United have a very tidy run of fixtures coming and Jones is nailed and cheap as fuck. Mou is jerking it to him and I might start doing the same. Until he gets hurt… Rounding out my defense is Holebas @ Sundy. I have no faith in a Watford cleany but hopefully I get lucky and/or some attacking returns.

MID: Alexis, Payet, Siggy aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. Love all three lads and all three have strong upcoming fixtures. Alexis has a ton of captaincy shouts in the next ~8 GWs. Feel very secure with these three, something I haven’t been able to say a lot with my team this season… Mid #4 is my friend my love Bobby Firmino. He has been nothing short of a FPL nightmare lately and I’m very sad about it. Everyone on the planet is selling him but I still have faith. Though a sixth blank in a row and even I will come to my senses. I just need him to regress to the mean against a really really shit Everton side. Or progress to the mean? Is that a thing? Who knows? Doesn’t feel great though either way it must be said.

FWD: Same as Walsh’s above. Usually when our teams get more similar we both tit, so I’m starting to get a little al dente down there you know?!?!!? Anyway cometh sir ‘Arry of Kane fucking piece of shit close your mouth one time in life but no then he can’t breath. He is an old hunchback man lately but hopefully he can turn one of those awkward ugly turns into points. And/or get a lucky pen that he slots which I’d kill for. Home Burnley is a festival. Costa will keep ticking @ Palace but it would be very interesting if he blanks again. Chelsea attack has been far from impressive as of late… And lastly Andy top knot sex machine Carroll. Feels insane to double WHU attack as they’re basically relegation fodder this season but home Hull and at Swans is as good as it gets and I think returns are in the cards. There was no one else reeeeally giving me the feels up top. Even as a LFC fan, I didn’t feel as good as you’d expect me to about Origi. Can’t explain it.

CAP: Yup you guessed it, Kane. Fuck Eriksen I hope he dies and own goals this weekend. It’s Kane’s team, he will get it done. I believe.