2) Wait, is Michigan-bought cereal actually superior to the cereal the rest of us eat?

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3) Just how bad were the rest of Kirk Cousins’s birthday presents?

4) How would Cousins rank the top 101 grocery-store cereals, in order, with extensive footnotes explaining his work?

Most of these questions remain tragically unanswered, but at least Cousins was at least asked to identify his favorite breakfast cereal on Thursday afternoon.

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“Wow,” he said on 106.7 The Fan, when Grant Paulsen put the question to him. “I mean, favorite cereal of all time is like asking a parent to pick their favorite kid. You know, they’re all good, all for different reasons. But just because of the familiarity I gotta go Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles. I mean, if you’re gluten-free, it still works. And man, it’s just a classic. It tastes good. I’ve got no complaints. I don’t have to look any further than those two.”

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This is a mostly bad answer, in my view, although this is one of the more controversial topics in modern journalism. All cereals are good, like Cousins said, but the best cereals — again, in my view — involve at least two different shapes or consistencies, ensuring that every spoonful of every bowl will be a tiny bit different. Honey Bunches of Oats. Lucky Charms. Basic 4. And so on and so forth. Also, I just realized that former NBA player Chris Singleton listed both Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles in his top four cereals.

There was, heartbreakingly, just one follow-up question, about how Cousins rations out the pebble-to-milk ratio at the end of the bowl, so as to preserve the cereal’s integrity and crunch.

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“See, I’m talking to people who know cereal, so I feel like I’m amongst friends,” Cousins said. “And if you go with the Cocoa Pebbles you’re going to get a little more chocolate milk at the end than just regular milk, and there’s something to be said for that.”

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But then he started talking about eating healthy and stuff like that, and suggested “maybe we can talk about the fruits and veggies that I love next time,” which isn’t quite cereal talk, but honestly would probably interest me more than talk about preseason game-planning, which is probably a bad sign for a “sportswriter,” but man oh man some of this preseason football talk does start to sound a bit repetitive after a while. I’m not saying cereal talk wouldn’t also be repetitive eventually. It’s not that I’m uninterested in football. I just think I would be interested in hearing all 11 members of the Redskins starting offense identify their favorite cereals. In fact, I’m going to work on that. Assuming no one pulls my credentials.

The bigger issue here is that Cousins is so disciplined about saying the right things that it’s hard to be surprised by his football-specific answers anymore. But what is his favorite fruit or vegetable? Who knows! It could be kale or carrots, blueberries or bananas, cherries or…well, it’s probably cherries. Still, there’s a mystery there that just grabs your interest, right? Right? Right? Right? Right?

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By the way, did you catch the CSN training camp video in which Cousins and a Redskins assistant discussed Cook Out during warmups?

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“You been to Cook Out yet?” Cousins asked. “It’s pretty good, right? The thing about Cook Out is they give you two sides instead of one. Sets them apart. Fredericksburg is as far north as they go, though, so the goal is we’ve got to pool our finances and open one in Ashburn, and then we can have all the Cook Out we want, whenever we want. I think we could make bank off the equipment room alone.”