Shit has been pretty fucking hard lately. I recently lost my job that I worked extremely hard to get after 5 plus years of giving everything I had. Not only did I lose my job, I lost a lot of people in my life. I lost my job because I was a dumbass no doubt. I also landed a better paying job quickly, but three days into that job somebody notified the owner of my situation and he let me go based on perception. So needless to say I’m fucked. No doubt I should be fucked. But what is important is that I’m here and I’m not giving up. I was thinking about one album that could get me through this hard fucking time. By far the one record that speaks to me is Crowbar’s second record. Motherfucker this album has a been with me through this shit. I have determined that this album will get me through this fucked up time period.

Crowbar / Crowbar

10 songs 36 minutes of classic doom/sludge heavy ass riffs and tremendous vocals by the one and only Kirk Windstein. Phil Anselmo produced this record and the power not only lands in the riffs but also the lyrics.

A little backstory on how this record came to me. During the early part of the 90s I was a young metal head working my way through the AC/DC catalog and discovering Metallica and Megadeth and recently purchasing Black Sabbath Children of the Grave cassette (more about that fucking tape later). I had a friend that was into biohazard which I thought was pretty cool because it had a orange cd case. But looking through his cds he had a copy of Crowbar/Crowbar. I was like this shit has to be heavy. The band name was fucking Crowbar FFS. Quickly putting the cd on I realized this is by far the heaviest shit I’ve ever heard. It sure the fuck was. Needless to say, I’ve returned to this album countless times. However, it’s never really been more prominent in my life and the shit storm I’m enduring.

Enduring is a key word here. Because that is what this album is about. Of course if you know anything about New Orleans they have literally endured many shit storms and these guys are no exception.

The lyrics are worth exploring and the riffs match the unbelievable heaviness. This is going to be a long read. But if you put the record on and follow along I promise it will be painless and make this record all the more enjoyable and hopefully if your enduring a dark time you too can find the light in the darkness.

The first track, “High Rate Extinction,” holds no punches. It’s powerful and memorable opening riffs are exactly what a struggling mind needs. It’s like the album knows your in a funk and quickly beats your fucking head against the concrete wall of your despair. “Reign over you another day / take all I can / Slave to me there’a no other way / break all I can.” Holy shit the first four lines hit quick. Think about being pushed down and you want to break free of the struggle. It’s hard. You keep trying to get up but can’t. I quickly return to title and think yeah High Rate Extinction for those who can’t handle fucking hard times. According to dark lyrics it states Kirk sings “weak man/weak man” but I hear “weak man/weak mind.” All of us are weak at some point. Weak minded for sure at times. But this song is all about the struggle of mankind and the ability to endure and not give up. A slow droning cadence of “crawl with me” is the perfect line. Even when your getting your ass kicked, you keep crawling so crawl with me. Listen, he warns we will never be free so be fucking ready because we be knocked the fuck down again. But it’s import we keep bouncing off that concrete.

Okay. So here is the fucking deal, this next song represents the shit and passion I gave to my former profession. The grit, the attitude, the love. This song is the anthem by which I stand and I’m gonna put everything I have into writing this. The second track, “All I Had (i gave)” speaks on so many levels. “How long have I given all I’ve got? / Here I stand / My days and nights now are solitude.” Holy shit. Immediately you hear the grinding lyrics and the fast paced slides on the guitar. You think about what you put into something. A lot of times severely under appreciated. He could be speaking of a relationship and certainly you can hear it that way. But our life is filled with relationships and when you give everything you got it in whatever you do becomes a relationship. You lose track of time and the people that come in and out of your world. Tunnel vision takes over. So when you fuck up you land in that world of solitude and you cannot escape. The next couple lines are significant because we “struggle on.” It’s our job to struggle on. We can be at the fucking bottom but we “struggle on.” He quickly reminds us that “I’ve paid my price.” Fuck yeah you have. Your price was in the hard fucking time you’ve had in your mind. Just like before we have to get up and endure. We can never let whatever it is we’ve done keep us from overcoming. We have paid our price and we must struggle on.

The next verse hits home with me and probably anyone else who has been through the shit. “So much still lingers inside my head / I’ve lost it all / No trace of tolerance I can find / An empty heart.” We can become over obsessed with what we fucked up. It’s that master beating us down into slavery. Yeah we lost everything but while we are down there at the fucking bottom we begin to look for pieces. Pieces of something that mean something to us. In our empty hearts we can find a way to let those broken pieces back in. So we gave all. You gave all. But we keep fighting, enduring. You want to give up. You can’t because there are still pieces at the bottom that matter. Sweep that shit up “Save all that you feel for me” that all of what we feel, our passion and give it to something that really fucking matters. Because we gave all with a ferocity like no other and when we rise with the same ferocity we become unstoppable.

I’ve decided to break this post up into several parts. I want to publish this pretty quickly and get the message out. I also could be way the fuck off base here but we must remember that songs are a message and a message is a text and a text can be interpreted from many different perspectives and our own unique experiences are what creates the uniqueness. Keep an eyes out for part two. I feel I have written way too much on the first two tracks of this great album but I have so much to say.

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