It was a dark night. The wind whistled through the trees. Somewhere far in the distance, a creeper walked silently across a bed of leaves. And safely in a double bed in Braquesburg, two world leaders, long renowned for their mutual animosity, copulated like college students with reckless abandon.

It was during the climax of their bedroom rampage of wanton carnality that local innkeeper and Braquesburg leader Poulet_Poulet walked in. “Yeah, the room was rented by a “Jon S.” last night,” Poulet said when approached by Enquirer reporters. “They left a diamond in a drop chest and requested the Honeymoon Suite. I left the key in the chest, and an hour later it was gone.”

At first, Poulet was content to leave the anonymous couple to their romp in the hay. “At first, I was content to leave them be,” Poulet said, gripping his broom like a Vietnam War veteran. “I heard one of them yelling, ‘Oh Bonnie! More!’ and I figured they might’ve just been roleplaying.”

Reportedly, the French Canadian native went upstairs for a courtesy call after receiving complaints from one of the other patrons of the inn. “I di’n’t have any complaints when they was fucking like rabbits,” commented the patron, who asked to remain anonymous. “But when I heard one of them yelling ‘Oh yes! Penetrate my Danger Zone! Break my vault! Oh!’ I decided enough was enough, I needed my night’s sleep.”

Upon approaching the open door, Poulet_Poulet noticed that the door was open. Seeing the heads of two world powers making sweet, sweet love, he quickly vacated the scene, waiting until the couple, wearing discreet sets of leather armor, checked out.

Neither Gogyst nor Bonkill could be reached for comment.