With one game left, it’s time for the fabled, legendary….NLFG Towers End of Season Awards.

It’s what all the kids want.

Thunderbastard of the season: Although Odion Ighalo (vs Boro) & Craig Cathcart (vs Brum) put in stupendous late efforts, there’s no way to look past Adlene Guedioura’s ridiculous effort against Cardiff. It gets bonus points for clipping the bar on the way in

Prettiest Goal: Matej Vydra makes a fairly convincing argument for his wonderful goal against Leeds, it’s got to be Troy Deeney’s hattrick goal against Fulham. After about a million passes toying with a demoralised and exhausted home team, Munari’s brilliant through-ball let the skipper in for his hattrick. Also notable for Fernando Forestieri’s amusing tantrum at his refusal to square it.

Individual Performance of the Season: Another tough one in a season which has seen Ighalo’s four goal blast against Blackpool, Deeney score multiple hattricks & Adlene Guedioura run himself into the ground for the team (most notably at Pride Park in the second half) but the winner is Fernando Forestieri’s one man destruction of Reading’s second XI at Vicarage Road. Thrown on as an early sub for Almen Abdi the little Italian made the most of the ridiculous space given to him to assist on a couple of goals and get one for himself.

Team Performance of the Season: Another category with a few entrants (the remarkable second 45 against Blackpool, the annihilations of Fulham & Charlton, Huddersfield at home, Boro at home) it’s got to be that ridiculous game against Bolton. It was the kind of win (followed by another tight victory at Leeds) that showed this team wasn’t lacking in sheer guts.

Worst Performance: Three games stick out; the dreadful, soul destroying losses to Ipswich and Cardiff, and the winner, a frozen, insipid loss to Wolves on Boxing Day. This is probably the last time I’ll mention it. Ever.

Best Opponents: In a season in which most teams have been trampled under foot at Vicarage Road, there were few candidates. The best of these was probably Derby County who were outstanding in the first half, before a spirited second half performance from the Orns looked like grabbing at least a draw before a wondergoal won it for the Rams. It’s been a surprise how they’ve fallen off. Slightly pleasing though, given their signing of the thoroughly unpleasant Tom Ince.

Worst Opponents: Blackpool might have conceded more, but at least showed some spirit in the first half. Charlton, on the other hand, were utterly gutless. That they only conceded 5 was the biggest surprise. Massive shout out to early seasons losers Bolton & Leeds, both of whom appeared to have absolutely no idea what they were doing.

Worst Signing aka “Boob of the Year”: Goes without saying that the utterly classless Bertie Big Bollocks that is Lloyd Dyer wins this award. In a season where almost all of the signings paid off Dyer wins by a country mile for his part in upsetting the dressing room, and behaving like an utter arse when scoring at Rotherham. It appears he celebrated scoring for Brum by cupping his ears to the supporters, once again winning himself more friends. Gabriel Tamas gets a shout out due to his ability to do at least one stupid thing a game before utterly wrecking his knee.

Best Signing (permanent): Arguably the toughest category of all. Aside from the two players mentioned above, almost all the new signings played their part in some way. For me, the choice boils down to three: Heurelho Gomes, Craig Cathcart and Odion Ighalo. I’ve got no idea how to separate them; all have been vital in achieving promotion. Gomes has been unbelievable since Christmas. Cathcart has been a calm, considered presence all season at the back once fit & Ighalo has scored all the goals. Arguably the best summer transfer window we’ve ever had.

Best Signing (loan): A straight fight between Daniel Tószér and Adlene Guedioura. Ultimately, I’m picking Guedioura because (a) he’s an actual loan and (b) his buying into the ethos of the club and the team in such a short time has been nothing short of unbelievable. I’ve got no idea if he’ll be back next season, but his fitting in to the system has been sensational.

Moment of the season: there’s a few entries in this. Matej Vydra’s sealing the points at Brighton. Ighalo finding the top corner against Middlesbrough. Ross McCormack (!) getting his hattrick to send us up. But I’m plumping for something off of the pitch. Although it was undoubtedly a despicable, wicked act, I don’t think any event has quite bonded players and supporters as the assault on Nic Cruwys. At that point, as Troy Deeney led the #fornicforpromotion charge on twitter, promotion ceased to be the goal. It became a crusade, one that bound supporters, players and the club as a whole.

Low Point: Richard Chaplow rolling the ball past Gomes to win the game for Ipswich felt like the moment the dream was dying. Little did we know…..

Player of the Season: The man. The myth. The monster truck (as he refers to in this entertaining talk with the From The Rookery End guys) 20 goals in three consecutive seasons is noteworthy. His approach to captaincy is properly old school. He’s the leader of the pack. And the best thing about promotion is we get at least another season of him in yellow.

Manager of the Season: It goes without saying that of course Slav wins this. All we need to improve the mood is for confirmation that Slav will be coming back next season. Prepared to change things when they’re not working (how many managers are prepared to change it up at 25 minutes?!), to adapt the team when necessary has been remarkable. It was interesting to note the credit that Troy gave Beppe Sanino for his role in the defensive solidity of the team in the FTRE podcast though; also Troy’s tacit acceptance of the fact that Sanino rubbed certain players up the wrong way.