The ancient Democratic Party obelisk known as Joe Biden announced his intention to run for president today, and it wasn’t hard to tell that the burgeoning new American left views him as a serious threat. Sure, squeaky-clean neophytes like Beto O’Rourke and Pete Buttigieg might garner single- or even double-digits from early primary states like Iowa, and the Bernie supporters of Twitter might get a lot of traction out of mocking them.

Much as they might laugh, however, these so-called Bernie bros aren’t bothering to take on the hollow rhetoric of the Buttigiegs and O’Rourkes of this world line-by-line.

Not so with Biden: the usual chorus of jokes from the peanut gallery are nowhere to be found, replaced by alarm bells and cries of genuine fury.

For more centre-leaning Dems, Obama’s vice president represents a return to normality through his so-called “straight talk” and blue-collar appeal. For the more vibrant reaches of the party, however, who support popular left initiatives like Medicare for All and free public colleges, Biden is anathema, a mottled relic of “third-way” neoliberalism who has personally been on the wrong side of nearly every important issue in his lengthy career.

Since the Obama years shattered the collective delusion shared among millennials that the Democrats might leverage power to do any good in our daily lives, fervent leftists have often used humour to cope with the constant disappointments of our two-party system. As the overstuffed clown car of candidates opposed to left firebrands like Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders has rolled onward, revealing empty suit after empty suit with little to no chance of winning the nomination, the leftist commentariat has taken great glee in taking shots at each.

But while ripping these obscure figures to shreds might seem like an indulgence — or, worse, an expression of the navel-gazing nihilism that some left programmes like Chapo Trap House occasionally dip into — this sort of tomato-throwing serves an important end: public humiliation. And that can be an important tool in politics.

It might seem hard to believe in a post-Hermain Cain era, but back in the late 20th century, running for president and losing was considered a mark of shame rather than an exercise in brand inflation. You couldn’t simply collect cheques from all your millionaire friends and spend six months eating artery-hardening slop in dingy diners across America while peddling your book, or drop out after Iowa to embrace B-tier punditry — at least if you wanted to try again four years later. Even transformative political figures like lionized liberal Ted Kennedy took only one bite at the apple.

The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 Show all 25 1 /25 The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 Bernie Sanders The Vermont senator has launched a second bid for president after losing out to Hilary Clinton in the 2016 Democratic primaries. He is running on a similar platform of democratic socialist reform Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 Joe Biden The former vice president recently faced scrutiny for inappropriate touching of women, but was thought to deal with the criticism well and has since maintained a front runner status in national polling EPA The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 Elizabeth Warren The Massachusetts senator is a progressive Democrat, and a major supporter of regulating Wall Street Reuters The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 Amy Klobuchar Klobuchar is a Minnesota senator who earned praise for her contribution to the Brett Kavanaugh hearings Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 Michael Bloomberg Michael Bloomberg, a late addition to the 2020 race, announced his candidacy after months of speculation in November. He has launched a massive ad-buying campaign and issued an apology for the controversial "stop and frisk" programme that adversely impacted minority communities in New York City when he was mayor Getty Images The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 Tulsi Gabbard The Hawaii congresswoman announced her candidacy in January, but has faced tough questions on her past comments on LGBT+ rights and her stance on Syrian President Bashar al-Assad Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Pete Buttigieg The centrist Indiana mayor and war veteran would be the first openly LGBT+ president in American history Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Deval Patrick The former Massachusetts governor launched a late 2020 candidacy and received very little reception. With just a few short months until the first voters flock to the polls, the former governor is running as a centrist and believes he can unite the party's various voting blocs AFP/Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Beto O'Rourke The former Texas congressman formally launched his bid for the presidency in March. He ran on a progressive platform, stating that the US is driven by "gross differences in opportunity and outcome" AP The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Kamala Harris The former California attorney general was introduced to the national stage during Jeff Sessions’ testimony. She has endorsed Medicare-for-all and proposed a major tax-credit for the middle class AFP/Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Bill De Blasio The New York mayor announced his bid on 16 May 2019. He emerged in 2013 as a leading voice in the left wing of his party but struggled to build a national profile and has suffered a number of political setbacks in his time as mayor AFP/Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Steve Bullock The Montana governor announced his bid on 14 May. He stated "We need to defeat Donald Trump in 2020 and defeat the corrupt system that lets campaign money drown out the people's voice, so we can finally make good on the promise of a fair shot for everyone." He also highlighted the fact that he won the governor's seat in a red [Republican] state Reuters The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Cory Booker The New Jersey Senator has focused on restoring kindness and civility in American politics throughout his campaign, though he has failed to secure the same level of support and fundraising as several other senators running for the White House in 2020 Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Wayne Messam Mayor of the city of Miramar in the Miami metropolitan area, Wayne Messam said he intended to run on a progressive platform against the "broken" federal government. He favours gun regulations and was a signatory to a letter from some 400 mayors condemning President Trump's withdrawal from the Paris Climate Accord Vice News The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Kirsten Gillibrand The New York Senator formally announced her presidential bid in January, saying that “healthcare should be a right, not a privilege” Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: John Delaney The Maryland congressman was the first to launch his bid for presidency, making the announcement in 2017 AP The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Andrew Yang The entrepreneur announced his presidential candidacy by pledging that he would introduce a universal basic income of $1,000 a month to every American over the age of 18 Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Julian Castro The former San Antonio mayor announced his candidacy in January and said that his running has a “special meaning” for the Latino community in the US Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Marianne Williamson The author and spiritual adviser has announced her intention to run for president. She had previously run for congress as an independent in 2014 but was unsuccessful Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Eric Swalwell One of the younger candidates, Swalwell has served on multiple committees in the House of Representatives. He intended to make gun control central to his campaign but dropped out after his team said it was clear there was no path to victory Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Seth Moulton A Massachusetts congressman, Moulton is a former US soldier who is best known for trying to stop Nancy Pelosi from becoming speaker of the house. He dropped out of the race after not polling well in key states Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Jay Inslee Inslee has been governor of Washington since 2013. His bid was centred around climate change AFP/Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: John Hickenlooper The former governor of Colorado aimed to sell himself as an effective leader who was open to compromise, but failed to make a splash on the national stage Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Tim Ryan Ohio representative Tim Ryan ran on a campaign that hinged on his working class roots, though his messaging did not appear to resonate with voters Getty The Democrat challengers to Trump in 2020 DROPPED OUT: Tom Steyer Democratic presidential hopeful billionaire and philanthropist Tom Steyer is a longtime Democratic donor AFP/Getty

In 2019, with a humiliation-proof charlatan as our head of state, one thing has become clear: there is no downside to running for president, especially when there’s no single candidate that the institutional organs of the party are laying out the red carpet for. Hillary’s iron grip on the centres of Democratic power ensured that most of these bats stayed in the belfry for 2016 (at least the ones who still wanted to be invited to chic dinner parties). But with Trump as president and a self-identified democratic socialist as one of the frontrunners, the clown car is unleashed, and it rolls on with no end in sight.

When an ostensibly serious politician and fracking-fluid quaffer like John Hickenlooper looks at the early national polls and sees a big fat goose egg next to his name, what possible end flashes through his mind? Perhaps a position in the winner’s cabinet that he’d be unlikely to claim otherwise, or another unreadable tract on the state of America’s riven electoral system that he might be able to sell. It’s a cynical view, sure. But in a world where high-profile Democratic programmes like the podcast Pod Save America devote five minutes to discussing candidates with sub-zero chance — like Seth Moulton of Massachusetts — perhaps the cynical position is beginning to win out.

Not that the old hats of the party pay much mind, of course. In Biden, they’re cheering for a candidate who represents everything the left should abhor: a mouldering corpse of a long-failed electoral strategy, a black hole of charisma and ideology. When the supposed frontrunner built his career on policies that encouraged the violence of mass incarceration, who carried the flag for the war on drugs, who seemingly undermined women without a care, even the most hardened tweeters have a hard time coming up with a pithy quip to take him apart. Instead, they settle for howling into the void that is the politics of our current moment.