True love means never having to say you're sorry... for eating something with heavy cream in it and then hogging the bathroom for four hours.

Aonghus Shortt, the founder of biotech startup Food Marble, was very sorry to learn that his new live-in girlfriend had intestinal problems. So, out of empathy (allegedly!), he created a device called AIRE, to help Grace (his muse) figure out which foods were going to ruin their evening.

People who are in love and want to stop bothering others with their intestinal problems can take AIRE breath readings before and after they eat to determine how "compatible" the meal was with their bodies. Over time, Food Marble promises, AIRE will develop an increasingly "complete picture" of your digestive health. AIRE will also pair with an app that allows users to share their test results with their family, friends, and boos.

me + you + the device that helps me avoid diarrhea on dates

Shortt doesn't suggest that AIRE should be used for self-diagnosis of actual digestive disorders, just that it will help you "discover your own personal digestive profile." That sounds vaguely scientific. Like a mood ring! If mood rings could make you develop a creeping paranoia about everything you put in your mouth!

This gizmo sort of looks like a thermos for a doll, and it's a portable version of the common, microwave-sized machine that doctors use to conduct hydrogen breath tests. That sounds promising, but hydrogen breath tests aren't widely considered that reliable in the first place. Your gastroenterologist is surely aware of this, and probably wouldn't recommend you dropping $99 on the WebMD of medical devices.

AIRE could be fun to use at sleepovers, as an alternative to Ouija or MASH ("I'm going to marry LUKE HEMSWORTH and we're going to live in CALABASAS, and I'm going to DEVELOP A VIOLENT GUT RESPONSE TO THE ACIDITY OF TOMATOES.")

Jokes aside, Shortt appears sincere when he says he wants to raise awareness about digestive disorders like IBS, which are enormous burdens for the people who live with them and are often outwardly invisible. That's a pleasant side effect for a probably silly hardware startup.