Friendship is a great invention. From the cave-people who relied on groups of friends to survive against predators to the friends-focused adventures of American television shows that have dominated our living rooms, friendships have taken a great meaning in our society. In many ways, they have become our surrogate family. They love us unconditionally, deeply understand us, and create with us the greatest of memories. Yet unlike a family, we choose who are allowed to join our collective tribes and support our individual journeys, forever shaping our values and shifting the trajectory of our life. These life-defining relationships influence Missy Elliot on “Best Friends”, off her influential debut album Supa Dupa Fly, an emotionally affecting and beautiful duet with Aaliyah that rejoices in the saving grace of friendship.

“Best Friends” by Missy Elliot

Missy Elliot understands the importance of best friends.

As Missy started her music career in the early 90s, she stayed closed to her roots of Virginia, USA and enlisted the help of neighborhood friend and aspiring producer Timbaland. Together, Missy Elliot and Timbaland created an outstanding rapper-producer duo that dominated and stood out in the hip-hop and RnB landscape for years to come. After RnB singer and now-legend Aaliyah enlisted the help of these two on her second studio album, 1996’s One in a Million, this duo transformed into a trio — combining the strengths of Aaliyah’s divine singing, Missy’s eclectic rapping, and Timbaland’s mind-bending producing. A new magical chemistry and a powerful friendship was born. A year later, these three would reunite on Missy Elliot’s debut album, 1997’s Supa Dupa Fly, celebrating the virtues of this friendship.

On “Best Friends”, Timbaland’s thumping funk-inspired baseline, woozy and spacey synths, warm vocoder-backed instrumentation, and commanding drum beat create a serene atmosphere that sounds futuristic yet somehow timeless. In this tranquil space, Aaliyah and Missy trade verses throughout the song about romantic woes, unconditional support, and the comfort of a friend’s words. Aaliyah’s airy and charming voice, along with her smooth and silky vocal delivery, acts as a contrast to Missy’s grittier and deeper voice and her rap-sung hybrid vocal delivery. These verses capture the necessary angles of friendship — the levity of a friend’s love on bright days and the tenacity of unending encouragement through bleak nights. These angles prop up the chorus, which allows the song to swell to gentle and heartwarming heights.

“I’ll still be there for you / In your time of need, you can lean on me / Come on, I’ll be there for you / I’ll still be there for you / In your time of need, you can lean on me / Come on, I’ll be there for you”

With a straightforward but profoundly blissful message of the endless bond between friends, Missy and Aaliyah’s vocals come together in perfect harmony on this chorus. Missy’s confident and rich singing is intricately layered with Aaliyah’s soft yet powerful crooning and wailing, evoking the memories of late nights in parking lots, backpacking adventures around the world, and warm home-cooked meals shared between the best of friends. Whereas many RnB duets are often strictly between romantic partners, it is refreshing and absolutely needed to hear an ode to platonic friendship.

Unfortunately, this song has since carried with it a sorrowful undertone. In 2001, Aaliyah passed away in a tragic plane crash after the filming of a music video for her third studio album.

In a 2010 interview with MTV, Missy Elliot reflected on the loss of one of her best friends.

“There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of [Aaliyah] or watch a video or play her music. I miss her every day.”

The premature death of Aaliyah coats the entire track with a dark shade of sadness and reminds me to be obscenely grateful for the friendships I have made since childhood, high school, and college that have maintained me in my darkest times and have generated so many of my happiest moments.

At the same time, I try to remember that friendships alone cannot save me. Television shows like Friends and How I Met Your Mother have often romanticized the codependency of friendships, and this romanticization has widely permeated worldwide culture and values. As I have gotten older, I realize that friendships can not become my only source of love and support. Rather they are an integral support system to my individual journey, as I learn the necessary skills of loving and supporting myself.

As I start to explore this world on my own, I know that the physical and mental spaces between friendships are bound to become a bit wider. Yet whenever I am reunited with my group of best friends and we laugh, eat good food, celebrate life, share our fears, and open up about our dreams, an ineffable spirit breathes life into the margins that exist between us. I take those moments in and let that spirit sink into my bones, knowing that the spirit will exist regardless of the size of the margins. And without warning, I feel less scared about the places I may go.

I owe that to my friends.