SAN FRANCISCO—A local 22-year-old has obtained a job at a website, sources confirmed Wednesday. “I am eager to begin my career working at this website,” said the white male in his 20s, who secured his position after graduating from a four-year educational program at an accredited university. “This is an exciting industry. My job will allow me to use my technological skills in the workplace.” According to preliminary reports, the 22-year-old is currently looking to rent an apartment in the major metropolitan area where the website is located.

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