Or, on the other hand, is "panties" such a grown-up word that it's too sexy? There's a great scene in Legally Blonde in which a bunch of old, crotchety admissions officers are reviewing Elle Woods's (Reese Witherspoon) law school application. "She designed a line of faux-fur panties for her sorority's charity project," says one, his eyes agog. "Uh-huh," says another equally dopey administrator. "She's a friend to the animals as well as a philanthropist."

It's funny. It's funny because the word is a sexual word. If you don't agree, picture your father or grandfather. Now picture him saying "panties." I admire the woman who doesn't shudder.

Why does panties sound sexual? Many arguments could be made, not the least concerning advertising. I have a hunch that the sexualization of the word "panties" is the result of some marketing focus group grasping for a word to run alongside pictures of lingerie models in "tempting" mesh undergarments. One of my male friends suggested its similarity to the word "panting." Another friend, also male, said "panties" sounds so naughty simply because it refers to something so exclusively feminine. While the word "underwear" is strictly asexual, "panties" is not. Actress Christina Hendricks, in 2011, told Esquire that "Panties is wonderful word. ... It's girly. It's naughty. Say it more." Personally, though, I don't know many women who would agree with her.

I don't believe women are categorically against using sexy words for sexy things. After all, I don't see ladies petitioning to ban "lick" or "dildo" from the popular lexicon. However, the hatred of the word "panties" comes from how disconnected the sexy word is from the function of what it means. Women's underwear serves the same utilitarian purpose a man's underwear does. However, "panties" forces us to call our underwear something sexy, when really we decide for ourselves whether our underwear is sexy or not. While saying "panties" might not be downright degrading, that's enough to leave a foul taste in a woman's mouth.

So what word could be used instead? Personally, I've always just called my bottom unmentionables "underwear." My sister, though, disagrees. "Underwear" is no dice, she says, because women have two types of underwear (bras and panties)—and how will you know which ones are being referred to?

Another friend of mine has suggested the terms "top undies" and "bottom undies," but I don't see that particular strategy catching on, either.

So far, the best alternative seems to be referring to them by their particular style, like men do: briefs, boxers, boxer-briefs, long-johns. We could call them thongs, boy-shorts, G-strings. Et cetera.

It's well-documented that women are ahead of the curve when it comes to linguistic ingenuity. When it comes to trends, women often set them rather than follow them—so if women are disgusted, then it's our responsibility to keep the conversation going. At this point, it might be a good thing to get our bottom-undies in a twist.

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