Some people consider oral sex the most intimate of all sex acts. Cunnilingus, the technical term for performing oral sex on a woman, can be incredibly intimate. To be good at it, you have to be an excellent reader of her body, her breathing, her movements, and what she might be telling you with words.

Everything you do is for your partner at that moment and shouldn't be based on performance expectations, lessons from porn, or previous oral sex experiences.

Clean Yourself Up

Make sure your hands are clean and your nails are trimmed as you'll want to use your hands as well as your mouth on her. If you have facial hair and shave regularly, be sure to do it beforehand; nothing kills the mood quite like sandpaper on her sensitive parts.

Get Wet

A lot of people have preconceived notions about the taste and/or smell of their partner’s genitals. If you're anxious about this, suggest a romantic bath or shower together and then go down on her. Getting naked and wet with each other is never a bad idea, and as you get more comfortable, you will probably find that your partner's taste and smell trigger more arousal than anything else. Some people use flavored lubricants, and many dental dams (great for safer sex) are flavored also.

Start Slowly

Most women won’t want to go from zero to oral sex in 30 seconds. Take your time and ease into it. Do other things you know she loves. Use your hands and mouth all over her body, which will nicely foreshadow what is to come. When she’s good and excited, her hips are thrusting and the moans pretty regular, head south.

Get Comfortable

Both of you will enjoy this more if you’re both physically comfortable. Use pillows and be creative with oral sex positions so that you are both relaxed and feel like you can move around. Some people will find it hard on their neck to lie between their partner's legs with their head poised over her vulva. For others, this will work just great. Remember that it’s okay to change positions and move around.

Get the Lay of the Land

If you don’t have the body parts, you might want to brush up on your female genital anatomy. Most of the attention with cunnilingus is on the clitoris, but every woman is different and there may be other parts of her that will take oral sex from the every day to the out of this world. Use your fingers to spread her lips and take a good look at her clitoris, her labia, her mons, her vagina, her perineum and her anus.

When in Doubt, Go Slow

A lot of women have very sensitive clitorises, so avoid stampeding to the clitoris. Flatten your tongue and use wide slow strokes to explore her inner and outer lips, her vagina, and her clitoris. Imagine licking an ice cream cone. Start at the perineum and lick up and around her clit and back down the other side.

Check the Hood

Most women prefer to have their clitoral hood licked. This is a fold of skin that covers the actual glans of the clitoris, which is extremely sensitive.

Experiment With Different Strokes

In general, women tend to like firm pressure and repetitive motion. Quick tongue flicks against the clitoris can be irritating. If you’re not sure, ask her to give you feedback while you try different kinds of strokes—circular, side-to-side, up-and-down. Don’t take it personally if she flinches—discovering what pleases is often a process of trial and error.

Let Her Give You a Hand

If you've ever seen her masturbate, you have some idea how she likes her clit to be touched. Ask her to show you now, or you can offer her your hand and ask her to demonstrate the kind of stroking she prefers by placing hers on top of yours.

Add Penetration

When she’s good and excited, add some lubricant to your fingers or toy and gently insert it into her vagina. Move them in and out using short but firm strokes. Put your mouth back on her clitoris and lick her while you penetrate her. This won’t do it for all women, but many love the experience of clitoral stimulation and penetration.

Keep a Steady Pace

Women like steady stimulation, so don’t stop unless you need to come up for air. You’ll see the signs when she’s getting ready to go over the top—her moans, her thighs pressing against your head, her body arching, her hands tightening on your head—she’ll let you know when to stop.

A Few Extra Words of Advice