Remember that Timbers playoff shootout where the ball bounced off the pole and saved the day and it was the most bizarre shit you've ever seen? I do, because I was there, in the stadium, watching the game, this is not a joke about how little I know about the Timbers, I swear, I genuinely saw the biggest single moment of Timbers history even though my knowledge of the game and the team are, uhh, minimalist. I do want them to win, I want to be clear, I have a lot of Sounders friends from going to college in Olympia and I like to see their smug ass faces shoved in mud. Also I worked for the team for like three years and they were pretty good to me. Anyway Nurk is a lot like that pole because he is big and white and he prevents the Blazers' opponents from scoring and is beloved by all and also came out of nowhere to take a central place in the mythos of the franchise. He is so great and also he and Lillard are best friends, they sit next to each other on the bench and talk about destroying their enemies every game, it could not possibly be cooler.