Yesterday I went to a daytime sex party (a brilliant idea: more people should consider it) and during a break in the action was talking to a friend, “Greg,” who I’ve linked to our anonymized amateur porn videos. He said that he’d already come across one of the videos online and that he loves it because it’s clear that we’re into each other and not just doing the synthetic acting thing that is typical of professional porn. He recognizes exactly what vibe we were going for and appreciates it, and his is a very gratifying and interesting statement, especially among the sludge typical of online comments.

We’ve met fans before, but Greg’s view was special for many reasons, including that he’s part of the sex-positive community. Alas, I do not know precisely which video he meant, as I didn’t have a chance to see it, and phones are strictly banned in party premises. We were still chatting when we got distracted and then sucked back into the sex maelstrom, because a massive number of people massaging each other turned into a massive number of people fucking, and when one is summoned by a cute sex fairy who has lost her yoga pants and flimsy green bra for sex, it is hard to continue a conversation about amateur porn, however much that conversation is appreciated.

Greg said he likes amateur porn in which it’s clear the two people in the couple know one another, like one another, and understand each other’s bodies. Our videos don’t show our faces, due to the sex-negative society we live in, but we’re attempting to be the change we would like to see in the world. We’re also impressed by the extent to which sex-positive people, if they are truly sex positive and stay the course, form real communities: many people are starved for connection and sexuality can be a profound, positive way to connect rapidly with others. During sex we lose inhibitions and become incredibly vulnerable, physically as well as psychologically, and that vulnerability is necessary for pleasure. But that vulnerability also makes us able to connect in a way that our normal social guard inhibits.

We didn’t expect to find that our friends have already seen and appreciated some of our erotic work, but it is very beautiful to find that they have. Most people close themselves off from the opportunities life presents; we encourage you to open yourself up.