Robot rulers (Picture: Dave Anderson)

A quarter of people in the UK believe robots would be better than human politicians.

Well, I’m here to persuade the other three-quarters that having a robot in Parliament would be better than having Nigel Farage or Boris Johnson.

Would you buy a car that chose to murder you?

Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Yet AI leaders would be truly altruistic.


To achieve this, we could program computers with agreed ethical standards and make decisions on predefined guidelines.

Bots are already invading the corridors of power.

There is an AI that automatically writes speeches.

And, in America, a man ironically named after a fortune-telling machine in tacky beachside resorts challenged a supercomputer called Watson for the presidency.



Zoltan Istvan ran for the Transhumanist Party, which advocates research into technologies such as AI, bionics, and, umm, conquering death.

However, in the end, both IBM and the law, which forbids anyone except a natural-born citizen to run, put paid to this campaign.

But what of the issue of cyber security?

Could a robot leader be hacked, then influenced by another nation?

What if, say, Putin was the puppet master of the President, with his finger on the button of certain apocalyptic annihilation?

Ahem.

OK, maybe assigning a robot to the most powerful political position is far from a foolproof plan, but is it any worse than our current situation?

At least its Tweets would be grammatically correct.

1. Would you want Trump kissing your baby?

Bring on the droids (Picture: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Imagine it: President Trump spots your baby girl in a crowd and puckers his meaty lips to slather a big wet kiss on her rosy cheek?

Or instead: an iron giant extends its mechanical neck over your little darling’s face, ominously whirring while it lowers its steely pout towards her?

Yes, I thought so, it’s the robot every time.

2. Robots will do all the work and pay you to live the high life

Already, it is being proposed that when robots take our jobs, they will need to pay taxes to fund our unemployment benefit.

And as for expenses, what robot needs a duck house, garlic peeler, or light-bulb?

Instead, we will be free to spend all our time with sex robots, travelling the world by Hyperloop, or even playing VR games on Mars.

3. Robots are logical

Under the DeepQA system, supercomputers such as Watson are already capable of speedily analysing different perspectives and political agendas on any subject.

They won’t succumb to the basest human instincts of lust, greed, and corruption.

4. Robots are not influenced by vested interest

Many disgruntled voters believe most leading politicians are in cahoots with big business.

But robots won’t dribble at all the filthy lucre offered to tempt them into voting to keep online gambling, for instance.

However, world dominion might admittedly tempt them at some point.

5. Politics would become less, well, political

A soulless, mechanical android. And German Chancellor Angela Merkel (Picture: John Macdougall/AFP/Getty)

Robots don’t point score.

They’re above all that.

You won’t see a robot finding incriminating sexbot hard drives on the opposition.

Or leaking evidence of robot dancing at parties with foreign agents.

6. Robots don’t have ridiculous hairstyles

OK, so our PM, Theresa May, has a fine-looking barnet.



But some would argue male politicians need a blond bouffant to make an impact, such as those specimens sported by Trump and Johnson.

Or what about the greasy crow that died on Kim Jong-un’s scalp?

Robots will probably sport an elegant metallic gleaming bald pate.

You never know, it might catch on.

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