The average cost of tuition and room and board at a four-year private university in the U.S. has risen to $39,518 annually. Here is a breakdown of where that money goes:

$250: Omnipresent collegiate scent

Omnipresent collegiate scent $40: Ream of diploma paper

Ream of diploma paper $2,543: Laundry facilities capable of handling constant, round-the-clock loads of pajama pants

Laundry facilities capable of handling constant, round-the-clock loads of pajama pants $25: Credit check

Credit check $5,000: Morgan Spurlock appearance fee

Morgan Spurlock appearance fee $0.15: Student mental health services

Student mental health services $4.40: You think all those comedy hypnotists are stopping by out of the kindness of their hearts?

You think all those comedy hypnotists are stopping by out of the kindness of their hearts? $250: Quills

Quills $8,000: Standard wasted money fee

Standard wasted money fee $29,000: Big tall clock that goes “ding”