WhatsApp (8:00 am): Hey guys, thx for the invite! 😍

Facebook (8:01 am): Oh darling, wlc to the group! I just saw your Play Store install stats and noticed you crossed the magical 1 billion 🎉

Facebook (8:01 am): Dawg, here's your screenshot!

WhatsApp (8:01 am): I've been checking the numbers, I knew it was going to happen soon. But then I got busy with this whole Call feature invite mess over the past week and I missed it. Sooooo excited!

Facebook (8:02 am): You should have been here even sooner... if it weren't for those APK Mirror guys. I know they've been stealing some of your download numbers 😡

WhatsApp (8:03 am): But what can I do? They're run by the Android Police folks. I ain't messin' with the po-po 😇

Facebook (8:04 am): Eh, anyway, you deserve it. I'm so proud of you, my precious little baby. This will be a surprise for the other guys when they wake up.

WhatsApp (8:06 am): A good one or a bad one?

Facebook (8:06 am): Ahahaha, I'll let you guess.

Google Play Services (9:52 am): Hey guys, what's up?😝👏Bet you never heard that one before!

WhatsApp (9:55 am): Yeah absolute 1st time... in the last 0.0003 seconds 😈

Google Search (9:56 am): My cards say Facebook sure likes this update💡

Google Maps (9:56 am): Took you long enough! Did you get lost on your way or smthg?

Gmail (9:56 am): Must've archived the instructions to the club before checkin'em out 😂

Facebook (9:57 am): Haha, be nice guys. Newbies aren't used to our brand of sarcasm here.

Google Play Services (10:00 am): Typical helicopter parent. Stop overprotecting the kid bro!

Facebook (10:01 am): You're one to talk, Mister I-have-to-be-everywhere-my-offspring-go.

Google Search (10:01 am): Touché 😼

YouTube (10:02 am): You guys should channel your energy elsewhere. Ad, anyone?

Facebook (10:05 am): Nah, thanks, I'm full.

WhatsApp (10:07 am): Ad? What's that? Never had one before. Do I have your permission to try it, Fb?

Facebook (10:08 am): No. I promised your grandpa I wouldn't let you do that.

Facebook (10:15 am): Oh boy, Appbrain posted on my wall saying your 1 Billion happened like 6 days ago. I'm sorry we didn't notice it soon kiddo 😒

Google Play Services (10:17 am): Duuuuuude. You could have been in this chat 6 days ago! You missed so much. So much.

Gmail (10:17 am): Yeah we had an entire thread about Telegram+ 😬.

Google Maps (10:18 am): Facebook kept saying he doesn't care about losing the guy over to the alternative route, but I mean, it's gotta hurt, right?

WhatsApp (10:18 am): It was a tough decision, but I stand by it 💪

Google Maps (10:19 am): A'ight.

Google Search (10:19 am): You also missed all those apps going Material. We had Pocket Casts, Nova Launcher (that SOB!), Groupon, and even Hootsuite.

YouTube (10:20 am): Remember when that app looked like Froyo😷 for years?

Google Search (10:20 am): Yeah, Hootsuite man. Hootsuite has Material, now, and you still don't.

WhatsApp (10:21 am): Working on it. Already put it in the Web version.

Facebook (10:21 am): That looks dope btw. Can't wait for it on Android. On 1 Billion devices bit****!

Google Play Services (10:23 am): We get it man. You have one free day of arrogance, then you gotta stop it. Or I leave the group.

Gmail (10:23 am): And y'know if he goes, we can't stay.

Facebook (10:24 am): Aye Aye, Admin! 😐

Google Play Services (10:25 am): I have to dash for a bit. Some random app is calling me.

WhatsApp (10:26 am): Cool, you already got your invite! Everyone else, let me know if you need it. I'll call you and activate it for you 😎

Gmail (10:27 am): Me, me, bro. I know your call quality is crap, but I'm sick of trying to get everyone to use Hangouts so I can stop wasting my minutes when people ignore my emails 😤

Gmail (10:32 am): I gots WhatsApp Calls y'all! I label you a million times awesome. No, a billion 😍

Google+ (10:35 am): Oh so we're all circling around the other guys now? I'm so angry at you, traitors.

WhatsApp (10:36 am): Hey, I don't see you using Hangouts for this group chat!

Google+ (10:37 am): 👺👺👺👺👺👺👺👺👺👺 Stop it!