WESTEROS – Lord Joe of House Biden announced via raven several days ago that he would take up arms against friends and foes alike to secure his position on the Iron Throne. This announcement came as a surprise to some, given Lord Joe’s mixed signals regarding his potential candidacy over the past two years.

Lord Joe made this announcement to his commonfolk from atop his castle in The Kingdom of Scranton. “Yeah I figured why the hell not,” he said through chuckles while enjoying ice cream. “Everybody else is doing it, I figured I’ve played this game for a long-ass time, I can probably serve as Protector of the Realm. I used to be Hand of the King y’know, which is close enough to the job, right?”

Shortly after the speech, The Lord boarded upon his glorified horse, Amtrak, and rid it down to Westeros, D.C. There he met with the previous King, His Former Grace Barack of House Obama, and plead that he doesn’t support his campaign. Obama apparently responded with “Joe, for the last time, get out of my house or I’ll call the police.”

There are currently 22 Lords of the Left campaigning for the Iron Throne, which is currently being treated like a latrine for the child-hating, incestuously inclined, wall-fetishistic Mad King Trump. When Biden announced his candidacy, Trump responded by calling him “Sleepy Joe,” and then taking a half-day to play golf.

Meanwhile throughout the continent, the commonfolks considered falling on their swords instead of enduring another campaign cycle. Most in fact, have pledged their allegiance to the Night King.