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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Trump steps up attacks on CNN | Trump reportedly discussed preparing for impeachment proceedings | DeSantis says monkey it up remark had 'zero' to do with race | Biden to deliver eulogy at McCain memorial today | Prince Harry sings 'Hamilton' onstage | Chick-fil-A meal kits

NEWS OF THIS MORNING

If you write 'councel' ONE MORE TIME!:

This morning, President Trump Donald John TrumpSteele Dossier sub-source was subject of FBI counterintelligence probe Pelosi slams Trump executive order on pre-existing conditions: It 'isn't worth the paper it's signed on' Trump 'no longer angry' at Romney because of Supreme Court stance MORE denied that outgoing White House counsel Don McGahn is the reason he didn't fire special counsel Robert Mueller Robert (Bob) MuellerCNN's Toobin warns McCabe is in 'perilous condition' with emboldened Trump CNN anchor rips Trump over Stone while evoking Clinton-Lynch tarmac meeting The Hill's 12:30 Report: New Hampshire fallout MORE and Attorney General Jeff Sessions Jefferson (Jeff) Beauregard SessionsRoy Moore sues Alabama over COVID-19 restrictions GOP set to release controversial Biden report Trump's policies on refugees are as simple as ABCs MORE. http://bit.ly/2C9Wa3U

He tweeted: "I am very excited about the person who will be taking the place of Don McGahn as White House Councel! I liked Don, but he was NOT responsible for me not firing Bob Mueller or Jeff Sessions. So much Fake Reporting and Fake News!" http://bit.ly/2LEqa76

Trump also stepped up his attacks on CNN:

President Trump lashed out at CNN and veteran journalist Carl Bernstein for a July report that the president knew about Donald Trump Jr. Don John Trump'Tiger King' star Joe Exotic requests pardon from Trump: 'Be my hero please' Zaid Jilani discusses Trump's move to cancel racial sensitivity training at federal agencies Trump International Hotel in Vancouver closes permanently MORE's infamous 2016 Trump Tower meeting with a Russian lawyer. http://bit.ly/2wp2qiI

He tweeted: "CNN is being torn apart from within based on their being caught in a major lie and refusing to admit the mistake. Sloppy @carlbernstein, a man who lives in the past and thinks like a degenerate fool, making up story after story, is being laughed at all over the country! Fake News." http://bit.ly/2wsJtL6

CNN then fired back: CNN's official communications Twitter account tweeted back. "Make no mistake, Mr. President, CNN does not lie. We report the news. And we report when people in power tell lies. CNN stands by our reporting and our reporters. There may be many fools in this story but @carlbernstein is not one of them." http://bit.ly/2PMWQip

Back story: Bernstein wrote in a CNN article in July that Trump's former lawyer Michael Cohen was willing to tell special counsel Robert Mueller that Trump knew about a June 2016 meeting between promising dirt on Hillary Clinton Hillary Diane Rodham ClintonFox News poll: Biden ahead of Trump in Nevada, Pennsylvania and Ohio Trump, Biden court Black business owners in final election sprint The power of incumbency: How Trump is using the Oval Office to win reelection MORE.

Cohen's attorney, Lanny Davis, later told The Washington Post he was a source for that story. But he retracted his claim that Cohen knew Trump was aware of the meeting. CNN, though, maintains it had multiple sources and stands by its reporting.

Happy Thursday. Tomorrow is the last day of August -- yikes. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com, @CateMartel and on Facebook.

LATEST FROM THE WEST WING

Don't use the i-word:

Via The Washington Post's Philip Rucker, Carol D. Leonnig, Josh Dawsey and Ashley Parker, President Trump and his legal team have recently discussed the possibility of impeachment proceedings. Their worry: If Democrats take the House, there could be impeachment proceedings and Trump's legal team doesn't have enough of a strategy or staff to protect him. Full story: https://wapo.st/2LBixyw

GETTING TRACTION

There are hundreds of extremely angry American citizens who are being denied passports and entry:

Via The Washington Post's Kevin Sieff, the United States is denying passports to hundreds (possibly thousands) of American citizens along the U.S.-Mexico border, questioning their citizenship. https://wapo.st/2LBrLe8

Why: "The government alleges that from the 1950s through the 1990s, some midwives and physicians along the Texas-Mexico border provided U.S. birth certificates to babies who were actually born in Mexico. ... The same midwives who provided fraudulent birth certificates also delivered thousands of babies legally in the United States. It has proved nearly impossible to distinguish between legitimate and illegitimate documents, all of them officially issued by the state of Texas decades ago." https://wapo.st/2LBrLe8

For example: "In some cases, passport applicants with official U.S. birth certificates are being jailed in immigration detention centers and entered into deportation proceedings. In others, they are stuck in Mexico, their passports suddenly revoked when they tried to reenter the United States." https://wapo.st/2LBrLe8

REACTION FROM THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY: Democratic National Committee Chairman Tom Perez Thomas Edward PerezClinton’s top five vice presidential picks Government social programs: Triumph of hope over evidence Labor’s 'wasteful spending and mismanagement” at Workers’ Comp MORE slammed the practice. Perez said in a statement: "Americans are being targeted, detained, and denied their rights because of the color of their skin. This is a disgrace to our democracy and a vicious assault on our community." The full statement: http://bit.ly/2NxlaTR

BUT KEEP IN MIND: The practice of denying passports to people delivered by midwives in Texas’s Rio Grade Valley was also enforced during the George W. Bush and Barack Obama Barack Hussein ObamaObama warns of a 'decade of unfair, partisan gerrymandering' in call to look at down-ballot races Quinnipiac polls show Trump leading Biden in Texas, deadlocked race in Ohio Poll: Trump opens up 6-point lead over Biden in Iowa MORE administrations.

IN OTHER NEWS

I think we're looking at the race we will hate-watching, but can't stop following:

Tallahassee Mayor Andrew Gillum became the Democratic nominee for Florida governor and is facing off against Trump-backed conservative Rep. Ron DeSantis Ron DeSantisTrump faces tricky choice on Supreme Court pick DeSantis wants to protect college students from punishment for not following COVID-19 rules Texas governor proposes stiffer penalties for organizing, participating in 'riots' MORE (R). Controversy du jour: On Fox News, DeSantis warned Florida voters not to "monkey this up" by voting for Gillum. Why that sparked controversy: Gillum, a progressive Democrat endorsed by Sen. Bernie Sanders Bernie SandersThe Hill's Campaign Report: Trump faces backlash after not committing to peaceful transition of power Bernie Sanders: 'This is an election between Donald Trump and democracy' The Hill's 12:30 Report: Trump stokes fears over November election outcome MORE (I-Vt.), would be Florida's first African-American governor if he wins. DeSantis has been facing intense backlash from the comments some deem as a racist dog whistle. http://bit.ly/2onSdP2

Decide for yourself -- Watch the clip of DeSantis: http://bit.ly/2wyfPV1

NEW UPDATE -- DESANTIS RESPONDS TO THE RACISM CHARGES: Rep. Ron DeSantis (R-Fla.) told Fox News's Sean Hannity: "It has zero to do with race, Sean. It has everything to do with whether we want Florida to continue to go in a good direction, building off the success or do we want to turn to leftwing, socialist policies, which will absolutely devastate our state? And here's the thing, I believe people should be judged based on their ability and character regardless of race. But it's because of that that I know that socialism won't work in Florida." http://bit.ly/2Pl5fbH

WHY GILLUM WILL HAVE A TOUGHER TIME WINNING THE GENERAL ELECTION:

http://bit.ly/2oqLaVL

Today in social media tech glitches -- *covers eyes*:

Via BuzzFeed's Ryan Broderick, this morning Snapchat's Snap Map displayed "Jewtropolis" instead of New York City. Is Snapchat to blame?: Well, Snapchat responded that the company uses a third party for the map data. That's why it took some time to fix the problem. Screenshots of the map: http://bit.ly/2wwjiU8

Washington's fall agenda:

"Congress and the White House are facing a number of important issues this fall. But the clock is ticking with the November midterms looming and the end of the year fast approaching."

BREAKDOWN OF EACH ISSUE TO WATCH THIS FALL:

Defense spending -- lawmakers will have to merge competing bills: http://bit.ly/2omWlPh

Heath care -- Preexisting conditions will take center stage in the midterms: http://bit.ly/2MYmAtx

Preventing a government shutdown -- Border wall funding is the pressing issue: http://bit.ly/2MCMCmO

The GOP vs. the tech industry -- competing over bias claims: http://bit.ly/2PkJA3d

Cybersecurity -- the midterms test new security efforts: http://bit.ly/2wu72U0

Energy -- the EPA's focus is shifting to their new power plant rule: http://bit.ly/2MH16BQ

If you want a quick distraction from work, this video is pretty great:

While attending a performance of "Hamilton," Prince Harry broke into song on stage. The best part: Prince Harry sang part of the King George III song -- King George III is Harry's great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather. Photos and full story: https://usm.ag/2N1a6kH

Watch Prince Harry's brief performance -- Lin-Manuel Miranda's reaction is pretty great, too: http://bit.ly/2N1a9wT

NOTABLE TWEETS

Tales of an urban parking spot:

From today's McCain funeral service in Phoenix:

The program for today’s memorial service — from the state @SenJohnMcCain proudly represented for 30+ years, one final Arizona send-off. pic.twitter.com/kRMZZm3ivV — Peter Alexander (@PeterAlexander) August 30, 2018

ON TAP

The House and Senate are out.

11:30 a.m. EDT: President Trump received an intelligence briefing.

4:20 p.m. EDT: President Trump leaves the White House and travels to Evansville, Ind.

5:40 p.m. EDT: President Trump hosts a supporter roundtable in Evansville, Ind. This is closed press.

6:40 p.m. EDT: President Trump speaks at a joint fundraising committee reception in Evansville, Ind. This is also closed press.

11:40 p.m. EDT: President Trump gets back to the White House.

WHAT TO WATCH

1 p.m. EDT: A funeral service for Sen. John McCain John Sidney McCainAnalysis: Biden victory, Democratic sweep would bring biggest boost to economy The Memo: Trump's strengths complicate election picture Mark Kelly: Arizona Senate race winner should be sworn in 'promptly' MORE (R-Ariz.) at the North Phoenix Baptist Church. Former Vice President Joe Biden Joe BidenPelosi slams Trump executive order on pre-existing conditions: It 'isn't worth the paper it's signed on' Hillicon Valley: Subpoenas for Facebook, Google and Twitter on the cards | Wray rebuffs mail-in voting conspiracies | Reps. raise mass surveillance concerns Fox News poll: Biden ahead of Trump in Nevada, Pennsylvania and Ohio MORE will speak. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2Nx7XdL

7:30 p.m. EDT: Sen. John McCain's (R-Ariz.) casket arrives at Andrews Air Force Base. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2NC9e3i

8 p.m. EDT: President Trump holds a campaign rally in Evansville, Ind. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2omAkjB

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Toasted Marshmallow Day.

Before you get too excited, the Chick-fil-A meal kit doesn't include recipes for Chick-fil-A entrees:

Via NPR's "All Things Considered," fast food chain Chick-fil-A is starting to sell meal kits in Atlanta and if that is successful, the meal kits will be rolled out nationally. Think: Raw chicken and other ingredients to create a meal. Details and photos: https://n.pr/2Nv0Ty5

Come on -- one angry monkey ruined it for the rest of us!:

Carrabba's Italian Grill in Stuart, Fla., has stopped its weekly "Monkey Mondays" after a monkey bit a child's finger. My biggest takeaway: The restaurant allowed monkeys on Mondays and I didn't know about this?! :( http://bit.ly/2Pe4r8r

And because you read this far, here's a dolphin who really wanted to make sure this surfer didn't get in his way. This video gets funnier and funnier every time I watch it: http://bit.ly/2wB2hba