Something about the way people talk about Vickie Guerrero troubles me. And for once, I’m not referring to the fans who laugh whenever someone calls her old, fat, or ugly (although obviously, that sucks). I’m referring to the way her fans talk about her. The people who are her fans and are also Eddie’s fans. The people who get upset whenever The Rock or John Cena makes fun of her because f–k you, guy, that’s Eddie Guerrero’s wife you’re talking to.

People, we need to stop talking about Vickie Guerrero in relation to Eddie.

I don’t mean in the casual “Harry Smith, the son of the late Davey Boy Smith/Natalya, the daughter of Jim Neidhart/Christian, who may or may not be related to Edge” color commentator way. Rather, we need to start seeing Vickie Guerrero as a person with a life completely separate from that of her late husband.

Historically, women tend to be described in relation to a man. They are not seen as themselves, but as a man’s wife, mother, daughter, girlfriend, or sister. This is a common thing people do, and it’s something I’m guilty of as well. So to continue speaking about Vickie as “Eddie’s wife/widow” is to reinforce the idea that women are male appendages, Eve born of the rib of Adam. Have you ever wondered why some women insist on keeping their own last names post-marriage, or why some women prefer to be called Ms. (or Dr., if they have the credentials) instead of Mrs. or Miss? Yeah, all of these things are related. Hopefully I’m not blowing anyone’s minds by saying this, but women are people, with hopes and fears and goals, and we want to be recognized as such.

I don’t presume to know anything about Vickie Guerrero. I have never formally met her. I don’t speak for her. In fact, I should put that in bold all-caps: I DO NOT SPEAK FOR VICKIE GUERRERO. It’s possible – perhaps even likely – that she enjoys the attention from Eddie fans. She must be an Eddie fan, too. After all, she married him.

And I get it. I miss him, too. He was the bee’s knees. My eyes still fog up if I think about him too hard. And when you say, “F–k yeah Eddie’s wife!” you’re probably thinking, “F–k yeah awesome lady once married to my favorite wrestler!” I get it. I’ve done the same thing. But if we’re going to celebrate Vickie or defend her against sexist jerks, let’s try these comments instead.

“Hey Vickie, you are so good at being a horrible person. Hey Vickie, your maniacal laugh fills me with terrible joy. Hey Vickie, it’s pretty cool how you work so hard to provide for your daughters. Hey Vickie, I love Dolph Ziggler, but he would not be where he is now if it wasn’t for you. Hey Vickie, it’s really awful how people make fun of you for looking like a regular person. Hey Vickie, you are one of the reasons I watch RAW.”

We’re approaching the 7th anniversary of Eddie’s death. There are children in the audience who don’t know him like we do, but they do know Vickie. Think about that for a second: they don’t know who Eddie Guerrero is, except that he was a great wrestler that a lot of grown-ups like, and for some reason the lady he was married to works for the WWE now, and she is really mean to everyone. Why was that Eddie guy married to such a mean lady, they must wonder.

Are you feeling old yet?

So come on, fans. Vickie Guerrero is a woman with her own life and her own career. Let’s work on singling out her awesomeness instead of bundling her up with her man.

Ari Amaru is a writer and educator who keeps crawling back to wrestling no matter how many times she quits out of disgust or disappointment. She has a fondness for white collar wrestlers, odd couple tag teams, and Alberto Del Rio. She can be seen currently trying to escape her Floridian habitat for less humid pastures.