Ever noticed when watching old cartoons that a good half of them are about the speech impediments of animals? I’ve got to be honest, I’d be impressed if my cat could talk period, regardless if it could roll its Rs properly. Perhaps my standards are too low.

If it were something more valid, like perhaps an incontinent cat, then I could see mocking them. That my friends is a valid reason to criticize an animal. But stuttering or slurred speech? Honestly, we should be pledging these animals into fraternities, not ridiculing them from afar.

Maybe in a politically correct age where we can no longer mock the minority groups asking for it (you had it coming transsexual midgets), animals have become our only refuge. While inappropriate to point and laugh at the fat man on the street, it is perfectly acceptable to enjoy a Garfield strip. Oh look, he’s gorging himself on food–again. This isn’t humor, but a cry for help.

But let him burn. Let all the cartoon animals burn. Their suspicious lack of opposable thumbs and crudely drawn mannerisms are asking for it. They crave our mockery. Fat, lazy, stupid stutters that they are.