

If you are like most people, you probably think of orgasms and births as very separate things. One should, ideally, precede the other, but they are not likely to occur simultaneously. People who believe in orgasmic birth call it the “best kept secret” about birth. Orgasmic birth is the idea that the woman can have a sensual birth experience and may even climax when the baby emerges. It’s a completely different approach to the pain management model that currently exists concerning birth.

In a 2008 ABC article, Dr. Christine Northrup, author of “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom”, pointed out that the baby is coming down the same route in which sexual activity takes place. According to her, during birth the woman experiences the same kind of stimulation that she gets during sex so it’s just common sense that she’d have an orgasm. There are a couple of potential problems with this theory. First, the size of the stimulation is a factor. There is a great deal of difference in the circumference of a baby’s head and a man’s member, no matter how gifted the man. Secondly, female orgasms do not always work in exactly the way she described. I am at a loss to determine how clitoral stimulation might be involved in a birth. Unless, of course, the woman brings in her partner and/or a vibrator.

Ina May Gaskin is an experienced midwife and home birth advocate. She believes that birth in hospitals is less than ideal because women become afraid and restricted in a hospital environment. This can lead to increased pain and increased likelihood of interventions like c-sections. Instead, women should give birth around sympathetic, caring women who understand the birth process. They should use natural pain management techniques like massage, breathing, nipple stimulation and other methods that help release endorphins. She has spoken out in favor of orgasmic birth and appears in a film about it.

How can you increase the chances of an orgasmic birth? Evidently, it works best in private. It stands to reason that it’s less likely to happen with doctors and nurses standing around unless the mother happens to be an exhibitionist. Some couples spend time kissing and caressing each other before the birth. Ina May often advises couples to try nipple stimulation through a variety of means. Foreplay is important to an orgasm, just like in regular relations. Obviously, this is going to be more challenging in a hospital because doctors tend to be high strung about foreplay in the delivery room. As a side note, I read one of Ina May’s books. In one birth story, the woman’s husband and her best friend nursed on her breasts to stimulate her labor. That is a special kind of friend.

The woman’s mindset before birth is also important to the likelihood of an orgasmic birth. If you expect pain, you’re more likely to experience it. Conversely, if you expect pleasure, that’s more likely to be the result. There is a belief among the members of this community that women experience pain because they are unable to approach birth with the appropriate mindset. An epidural or any other kind of pain-blocking medication is going to lower the chances of an orgasmic birth. While not every woman is successful in having an orgasmic birth, proponents of this approach claim that all women can have pleasurable births.

Research shows some proponents that discuss the importance of masturbating during labor. The theory is that the vagina can expand up to two inches when aroused, which would be helpful during labor. Some women have also reported that masturbating helps them manage the pain. My guess is that these women do not invite their mothers into the delivery room.

You may have heard the rumor that sex can induce labor. I personally wouldn’t know, as I felt too much like a manatee to consider it in the last weeks of pregnancy. Some people go even further and encourage women to have sex during labor. Supposedly, it can ease discomfort and move the process along. Ina May is a proponent of this approach. Again, doctors get weird about this in the delivery room.

Perhaps birth has become too medicalized. A warmer, more inviting environment is certainly a good idea. It’s amazing how different it is to give birth within a female OB/GYN’s practice as opposed to an all-male one. I imagine midwives and birth centers have a completely different vibe than a hospital. However, I think trivializing a woman’s pain by implying that it’s in her head is a bit unfair.

All births are different, as any woman who has had more than one child can tell you. There needs to be space and permission to accommodate the situation as it presents itself. It’s my personal experience that some of the communities that support more “natural” approaches to birth can be as judgmental and narrow-minded as any old-school obstetrician. They have different ideas but their inability to listen to differing opinions is often startlingly similar. And old-school obstetrician are typically not as angry.

If you’d like to do some research on orgasmic birth, there is a 2009 documentary. I found a copy at my local library. There are also lots and lots of YouTube videos. There is also something called “birth erotica” but I cannot bring myself to look at it, partly because it’s disturbing, and partly because my husband the attorney is afraid that visiting the site would cause us to land in some sort of child pornography sting. He makes a compelling point. Warning: NSFYS (not safe for your soul).

If you liked this, you might also enjoy “Parenting off the Grid” for free range children and “Should Your Baby be Diaper Free?” for those who just can’t get with diapers.