Kaleb Hurn loved walking around Mt Maunganui with his dad David, talking about "anything and everything". His ashes were scattered at the top of the mount.

Kaleb Hurn should have celebrated his 20th birthday today. But he won't be there when his family and friends talk about his life.

His father has taken the day off work to reminisce about his son over a few beers.

SUPPLIED David's favourite picture of his son sits on top of the spot where his ashes were scattered. The laminated picture also accompanies David Hurn on his motorbike rides with Riders Against Teenage Suicide (RATS).

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David Hurn will make the walk to the top of Mt Maunganui to visit his son on Wednesday afternoon - a walk he's made too many times to count.

He'll sit next to an assortment of shells and pebbles that mark the spot where Kaleb's ashes were scattered, and he'll have a drink with his son - sharing his thoughts in an effort to keep Kaleb in the conversation.

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Kaleb was 17 when he took his own life.

It was midday on April 3, 2014 when David Hurn got a call from his son, but he hung up before his dad answered.

Hurn rang back, as was their agreement to save his son's credit, but he didn't answer.

The next day his body was found.

Hurn says there were no alarm bells, no warning signs, nothing to suggest their lives were going to change.

He spent the next week drinking on and off, trying to come to terms with what had happened to his son.

Hurn still cries a few times a week. He cries on the phone as he talks about his boy - "The most amazing boy in the world."

While it's hard sometimes, telling his story isn't brave, Hurn says.

It's not just his story, it's the story of everyone who's been touched by suicide.

New Zealand laws put restrictions on publicly referring to a death as a suicide or suspected suicide before a coroner has ruled it to be a self-inflicted death.

The law also restricts public discussion and publication of particulars around, including the method in individual cases.

Hurn says he believes these restrictions are harmful.

"We've got to get it in the open and we've got to get rid of the stigma. We've got to start talking to our children.

"We've got to start saying to the coroner 'let's tell the truth'."

Silence is suicide's friend, he says.

"It's being swept under the carpet. It's still perceived to be the ultimate sin and a huge shame."

As long as society doesn't talk about suicide, people won't know how to talk about suicide.

Hurn wants to start a conversation in the hope of stopping this happening to somebody else.

"I'm not proud of what has happened in my life but I'm proud to say that I'm not going to take it lying down...

"I wish I never knew this stuff. I wish I wasn't having this conversation. I wish I knew nothing about it.

"But I do, and I'm the kind of person that when I get my back up I don't take it lying down."

Hurn says he's had a gutsful of all the ambulances at the bottom of the cliff.

"I want to be the fence at the top."

He wants to go to schools and marae and talk to children and teenagers about suicide in an effort to save "the country's greatest minds".

Hurn's never been worried about breaching the restrictions around talking publicly about suicide. Despite what some people and researchers say, he's not convinced that talking about suicide will lead to other people taking their own lives.

"As far as I'm concerned, if you don't like it, tough. We've pussy-footed around it for too long."

Hurn knows the suicide rate will never be zero.

"But if I can stop one at a time then I've done what I'm here to do."

He always planned to tell the story about his "intensely intelligent" son who loved the colour blue.

The deep-thinker and prankster who would hide behind corners at night and scare his family and friends as they walked by.

Some said Kaleb was quiet but once they got to know him, he was "a bundle of joy", Hurn says.

He was studying computer science at the University of Waikato and was top of his class.

Kaleb had always been smart, Hurn says, adding that he was diagnosed with Aspergers.

Hurn had suffered from depression and had spoken openly with his son and daughter about mental health. But Kaleb had never displayed any signs of depression and the coroner's inquest didn't find this to be a risk factor in Kaleb's death.

When Kaleb wasn't walking round the mount with his dad, talking about "anything and everything", he was chilling at home with his friends or playing video games.

Kaleb was fascinated by gaming technology and before he died the first-person shooter game Borderlands was his favourite.

One of the anthems from the game played at his funeral. But his favourite song was Elton John and 2Pac's Ghetto Gospel.

Hurn says he wasn't ready to share his story until now.

"Now's the time. It's time to start telling the story, it's time to start having the discussion…

"We've all whispered about it...enough's enough."

Not everyone who's been touched by suicide wants to speak publicly about their experience but they should talk to someone, he says.

"A problem shared is a problem halved."

Hurn is a member of networks that support suicide bereaved, including Riders Against Teenage Suicide (RATS).

Their motto is: "It's not OK to go that way."

This is a message Hurn hopes to spread to children, teenagers and families across the country.

WHERE TO GET HELP

Lifeline (open 24/7) - 0800 543 354

Depression Helpline (open 24/7) - 0800 111 757

Healthline (open 24/7) - 0800 611 116

Samaritans (open 24/7) - 0800 726 666

Suicide Crisis Helpline (open 24/7) - 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.

Youthline (open 24/7) - 0800 376 633. You can also text 234 for free between 8am and midnight, or email talk@youthline.co.nz

0800 WHATSUP children's helpline - phone 0800 9428 787 between 1pm and 10pm on weekdays and from 3pm to 10pm on weekends. Online chat is available from 7pm to 10pm every day at www.whatsup.co.nz.

Kidsline (open 24/7) - 0800 543 754. This service is for children aged 5 to 18. Those who ring between 4pm and 9pm on weekdays will speak to a Kidsline buddy. These are specially trained teenage telephone counsellors.

Your local Rural Support Trust - 0800 787 254 (0800 RURAL HELP)

Alcohol Drug Helpline (open 24/7) - 0800 787 797. You can also text 8691 for free.

For further information, contact the Mental Health Foundation's free Resource and Information Service (09 623 4812).