iStockphotoFor sheer shark-jumping, fridge-nuking outrageousness, you just can’t beat the American Beverage Association. In a must-read/listen NPR report, the ABA’s senior vice president for science policy, Maureen Storey, made the claim that soda should play a crucial role in children’s hydration needs:

…Children who have been exercising may not drink enough water to get back to the hydration point that they need to be at. So with a little bit of flavoring and a little bit of sweetness, they will drink enough then to get back to where they need to be.

Are you kidding? Kids don’t drink enough water, so they should drink soda to make sure they don’t get dehydrated?

Have these people no shame?

Oh, and, by the way, Storey wanted to make sure we realize that soda is positively healthy because it’s 99% water, and water is an important nutrient. Anyone else spot the egregious circular logic at work there?

If only NPR host Michelle Norris had expressed a bit more incredulity. This stuff doesn’t deserve to be taken seriously.