WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Marine Corps has updated its procedures for command climate surveys (CCS) in order to reduce time between reading the surveys and throwing them into the garbage, sources confirmed today.

The surveys, which are used to evaluate the morale and welfare of unit troops, are taken anonymously and ask scaled questions about topics such as work environment, sexual harassment, and a commander’s ability to delay approving leave requests.

“We really feel that this new digital system is more efficient,” said Lt. Col. Jim Stenson, officer in charge of Pentagon Administration and Resources Management. “It used to be that the surveys were taken, delivered to the OIC via the chain of command, and then printed and analyzed extensively before they would ever make it to the trash bin.”

With the new system, however, incoming surveys are automatically placed into the commanding officer’s Windows trash bin.

“See how effective that is? We’re finally moving this system into the digital age.”

The CCS was a relatively new concept when it was established in a White Letter published by the Commandant of the Marine Corps in 2013. Before that, unit morale was delicately calculated by the decibel level of crying in the barracks at night. The CCS, however, gave commanders the tool to systematically collect, analyze, and ignore troop grievances with new speed and efficiency.

Lance Cpl. Devon Griffin, a motor transport operator with Joint Base Henderson Hall, expressed appreciation for the new design.

“The old system was okay, but this new one is much quicker. It used to take forever to know that my CO didn’t care that my barracks shower was backing up with sewage,” Griffin said. “Now I know, like, same day.”

Stenson feels the same. The amount of surveys he processes used to take weeks. Now, it takes seconds.

“That’s the kind of efficiency you get when you pay a contractor only $1.2 million to design and install a system like this,” he said, grinning, “And you won’t find that on any survey.”