If there’s a unifying theory to this shitpuddle of an election, it’s that the people who are voting for Donald Trump are voting for him because they are, above all else, dissatisfied with America in its present form. I saw this when I hung around with Trump voters in Iowa, and you can hear it from Bad Taste Frankenstein himself at virtually all of his nightmare disco rallies, even the ones where he takes his pills and reads off the prompter like a good little boy. America sucks. America is in horrible shape. America is under siege. America has been stolen by DC elites. ‘MERICA AIN’T ‘MERICA NO MORE!

It’s always a mistake to attempt to psychoanalyze Trump and his supporters, given that Trump is history’s greatest imbecile, and given his campaign is little more than a 16-month outburst of childish irrationality. You can blame it on the economy, or sexism, or racism, or all three… but that undercurrent of unhappiness girds all of them. As explained by this Cracked essay that people have been passing around as if it’s good (it is not), people in rural Trump Country are tired of being sneered at. They believe they’ve been disenfranchised, spiritually if not literally. They believe no one cares about them. They believe that their voices have not been heard. “Deplorables,” etc. They are voting for Trump to give a proverbial middle finger to the establishment.

Now, here’s an unsurprising twist: These people are goddamn deluded. That anti-establishment pose that Trump is riding is the same line of bullshit that Republicans have coasted on for decades. And it’s worked. Look around you, rural America. You already live in Donald Trump’s idealized version of this country. Love guns? We have more guns than people. Hate abortion? Multiple states, probably including yours, have already made abortions illegal in most instances and virtually impossible to obtain otherwise. Want a border wall? Yup, we’ve got one of those, too (NOTE: it doesn’t work). Tired of activist justices making up laws as they go along? Well, you’re in luck! Because judicial vacancies are at an all-time high. Support the cops? We gave them TANKS. Don’t want your tax money going to imaginary lazy poor people? America’s tax rate is below average for the developed world. Want Trump to bomb the hell out of Muslims? We’re way ahead of you on that.

Everything you want Trump to do has been done or is currently being done, often by the same Republicans he openly feuds with. Since 1995, the Republican party has controlled the House of Representatives for all but four years. Nearly half of all states are controlled by a Republican “Trifecta” of governor, state senate, and state house. Take Kansas as a prime example. It’s a state that happily suppresses evolution in school and has cut taxes to the bone thanks to Republican governor and Trump supporter Sam Brownback. Surprise! It’s now the fucking netherworld. This is the “great” America you already live in. So what the hell do you have to complain about? You should be happy! What more could you want from this dystopian nightmare? You should go fire some guns off in your shanty and slap a protestor, because chances are no one will do anything about it in 2016 America. It's your fantasyland.