My daughter said something recently that made me realize that we all feel this way even if we won’t admit it.

She said “If I marry someone who is all Asian, then my baby will be 3/4 Asian and be more than me! Or I could adopt a hapa baby who needs a home, and I will understand how they feel and I can make them feel awesome about themselves.”

I had identical thoughts as a child. Marrying myself to imaginary Koreans and having babies with specific percentages “better than myself”. When I got old enough to feel like I was dating my family, I dated guys thinking about artificial insemination or adoption.

Why do we feel so much about how much of a percent we are? Why does a hapa feel less than next to a full Asian or a quapa the same about people who are hapa/full?

Probably people keep telling us what we aren’t all the time.

“You don’t look Korean. You are American.”

“Are you Native?”

“You’re Puerto Rican, right?”

“She’s not Asian, she’s only half.”