ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Duke of York breathed a sigh of relief last night after driving into a tunnel in Paris and making it out the other side alive.

His connection to convicted American paedophile Jeffrey Epstein has thrust HM The Queen’s youngest child into the spotlight recently. Palace insiders have explained to The Advocate that this has brought great shame upon the family and the institution of monarchy.

What happens to people who embarrass the Royals? They get taken care of.

Prince Andrew is in Paris this week taking a break from doing fuck all with his life except burden the British taxpayer with his continued existence.

Which is why he found himself driving into a tunnel last night. He didn’t realise were he was headed until it was too late.

“Oh shit,” he said.

The Prince checked his over-sized Range Rover mirrors for a small white Fiat and moved into the far-right lane.

He held his breath.

And appeared out the other side, alive.

More to come.