For context: I have recently been reading Max Stirner’s ‘The Unique and its Property’, and thought it would be both personally insightful and amusing to try to justify veganism from an Egoist perspective in a manner reminiscent of Stirner’s delightfully abrasive style. Whilst I agree strongly with a large part of Stirner’s philosophy, I have the feeling that many Egoists would still consider me to be far too moralistic to be counted amongst their ranks, so this brief essay should not be considered without caution as a good representation of an Egoist position; it may also not be a very good representation of my own position. I have written this for my own, direct enjoyment, and have, therefore, taken the liberty of refraining from sourcing the claims made in this essay. I hope that we can share and multiply the pleasure that I took from writing ‘The Vegan Egoist’; your feedback is welcomed!

Vegans are often accused of being moralistic, of judging others for their pleasures and indulgences. And, of course, in the majority of cases, these accusations are, indeed, perfectly justified; many vegans are moralistic, demanding sacrifices for the ‘greater good’. “It is wrong to eat animals”,they exclaim, “it is wrong to cause suffering to innocent beings”, and so, I must dutifully obey this higher-calling and deprive myself. I must not think of myself or my own interests, but rather the interests of the animals and those who ‘give voice to the voiceless’. I must not behave selfishly and must remain proudly tethered by the chains set forth by these ideas, these phantasms possessing me; restricted in my behaviours, thoughts and actions, no more free than the miserable cattle and swine in their narrow pens, painfully constrained so that they may be fattened up to better feed their masters. This form of Veganism is a transcendent standard of morality and therefore above me, external to me, and, so, I, the egoist, reject it because I will not sacrifice myself; I exist for myself, and I will act as I please.

However, carnists often act in the same moralistic manner as the vegans; see how they tremble with indignation at being given a label! They do not at all like any idea that their consumption of meat sets them apart, they are afraid of doing anything that could disrupt the status quo and thereby distinguishing themselves from others; they are afraid of being unique. In fact, many of their arguments revolve around their rejection of their own uniqueness, claiming that eating meat is, itself, part of something greater than themselves. A carnist may argue “But eating meat is natural! I am merely playing my part in the food-chain, the circle of life!”. That’s all very well and good, so you would not oppose being eaten yourself? Would you dare to take your precious circle over your knee and break it if it meant preserving your own interests, your own life? I do not doubt that you would sacrifice this sacred thing for your own sake, and I applaud you for doing so! At the same time, then, why must you idealise what is natural? Why do you worship this idea? Am I a sinner for taking medication against an infection? After all, are the bacteria flooding my body not more ‘natural’ than the pills made by man, that dastardly destroyer of Gaia’s intricate workings? Disease is no less a part of the natural order than predation, and, as one animal consumes the flesh of another, so too the bacteria consume their host. Nature, in this regard, is an ill-defined abstraction, and it is reliant on the existence of another abstraction, man. What comes from man is artificial is not from nature and is therefore not natural. Yet, does man not come from nature? If he does, at what point does man cease to be natural? Is it at his creation? No, man’s physical body is no less animal than that of the slaughtered creatures that he devours so gleefully! Is when he makes tools? No, all sorts of animals make tools, from chimpanzees to crows, both pitiful beings ‘unworthy’ of being ‘human’! Is it his thoughts then? Surely, that must be what sets him apart- his rationality!

And, so, I must behave rationally to distinguish myself from the ‘beasts’! And what does it mean to behave rationally? To serve a higher-purpose! To become a servant of man, not nature! If I am to be rational, I must reject my egoistic, lower tendencies, and follow only my higher, ‘rational’ desires! If I do something for the good of society, I am rational, a true ‘man’, yet if I act on a whim to fulfil my own sensual pleasure, I am transgressing against my higher calling! Whilst the vegan denies their self meat and eggs, both they and the carnist deny themselves personal indulgences, placing their ‘self’, through pathetic self-depreciation, on a pedestal ‘above’ nature! Of course, one might argue that rationality is merely pursuing one’s desired ends in a manner that has been consciously assessed, critiqued and planned out, yet, though a common definition, this is hardly how it is used in common discourse- just observe how people seek to eradicate selfishness in service of their sacred abstractions (‘humanity’, ‘society’ and the like) – and, if this is, indeed, the definition of rationality that we are to take, then man’s difference between other animals becomes only one of degree, not quality; are we to suppose that the tactics and strategies of hunting wolves consists wholly of blind instinct and not one ounce of forethought?

‘Man’, and the ‘speciesism’ that such a separation entails, is a phantasm, a property that is above us and possesses us, turning it to its own purpose, not our own! We are made to become prejudiced against ‘lesser’ animals, yet supposed to make special treatment to other humans for the sake of their species alone! My love for another person is not my feeling, but a duty imposed upon me; I must respect them, not because I care for them, but because they, too, are human. At the same time, I am forbidden from loving a ‘lesser’ animal, for they are not rational and, therefore, undeserving of love, which is no longer my love, my property, but the love of the sacred Man! Of course, I am permitted to dote over an animal, to take pleasure from it and to provide its needs, but a barrier must always be maintained between I, the capable servant of Man, and it, the ‘irrational’ non-human. Man has taken my love and my perceptions and relations with others; he has stolen my property and I will resist this encroachment with all the force that is necessary. ‘Man’ is an idea with no further use for me, and so I, at every opportunity, will pick apart this sacred idol and will serve no other but myself!

So, why am I, the egoist, a vegan, albeit not one possessed by morality? It is not for the animals sake, but for my own. First, there are the more obvious reasons: a vegan diet greatly reduces the risk of cancer, something that I am sure that you appreciate as something not at all unreasonable to avoid, as well as that of heart disease; a vegan diet also makes it easier for me to maintain my weight and encourages an intake of a greater diversity of minerals and nutrients; a vegan diet also improves kidney function. By maintaining my health, I avoid illness and other physical restrictions, and I can take satisfaction in my own physique, my own well-being, my confidence in being ability to perform a variety of physical tasks without hindrance, as well as the very sensation of feeling ‘healthy’. There are also the environmental reasons; I take great pleasure in enjoying the aesthetics and healing properties of forests, marshes, coral reefs and other, similar locations, and I benefit greatly from the stable climate, food security, and clear air and water, amongst other things, that are provided by the complex, ecological systems across the planet. Industrialised animal agriculture threatens to destroy these benefits, and has already taken so many from me! Land, alongside all the trees, flowers and shrubs that I enjoy looking at, is cleared, not only for pasture, which is soon rendered barren and ugly to my eyes by continued overgrazing, but also for food for the animals, which eat so much yet produce so little of value- nine calories of plant for a single calorie of cow! Streams, where I once could relax to watch ducks swim and mayflies dance, are given a nauseating odour and an unpalatable selection of colours as masses of excrement are poured like poison through them! The weather becomes most disagreeable as the fall of rain is increasingly concentrated into a shorter and shorter period as the climate changes, complemented by the addition of gaseous egestion from belching ruminants into the atmosphere! I will oppose the destruction of these benefits, my property, and a vegan diet is merely a tool for pursuing this opposition!

But I am also a vegan, not because I wish to limit my consumption of animals but because I desire to expand it! I still consume animals, but not as food, not as mere commodities alienated from me by capitalist production and given silly nicknames, such as ‘pork’ and ‘beef’, in order to distract whatever conscience they falsely believe that I am possessed by. I devour animals as individuals; no longer tethered to the service of Man, I am free to act without his prejudices, so I no longer refuse to look at the lesser animals, but instead gaze upon them, scanning every detail and making frequent observations, to see what pleasures I can take from them! I now take pleasure in the pleasure of animals, not because I am doing what is ‘right’, but because I seize their joy for myself and make it my property; I milk delight from the freed cattle, leaping gleefully through the fields of the sanctuary; I crack open the contentedness of the chicken as it pecks seeds from my hand; a pampered dog, descendant of a once ferocious wolf, and I devour hungrily the companionship that we share together. Animals can offer me many things that other ‘humans’ can not; new ways of communicating, of perceiving the world around me; the unique, aesthetic pleasure of their appearance, especially the details that one only notices with familiarity, and the mystery, intrigue and exciting unexpectedness of beings so morphologically and genetically different from myself! Just as a plate with greater variety is far more delicious, relationships with a greater diversity of beings is far more delectable for me and I will not limit myself to consuming only relations with Man!

Why, then, do I care for the suffering of animals? In truth, I do not and I care only for my own suffering, seeking to stop the bothersome sadness I feel when hearing the cries of the pigs as they try, fruitlessly and pitifully, to gnaw their way through the gates of their dirty pens. I soothe the injured paw of the dog only because I dislike the pain that seeing him limp causes me to feel. I seek ‘liberation’ for the animals only because when they are distressed, I am perturbed, and because, whilst they are suffering, they do not produce my pleasures that I described in the above paragraph! When an animal is slaughtered, a potential relation is forever taken from me, something that I value far more than my other property, the lesser, momentary joy that I feel when seeing you take pleasure in your greasy sausage-roll, flakes of pastry stuck loosely to your moist lips by the adhesive oils! The property that I seize in my relationships with animals is also more valuable to me than the pleasure that I take from their deliciously cooked flesh; I appreciate a juicy steak, or a fish supper, as much as anyone else, but such pleasures are limited, and I can easily fulfil my dietary and culinary desires with the diversity of plant-based foods that are available, with the added health benefits and without needing to destroy my more valuable possessions! When an animal is killed to fill my stomach, I gain only a limited value in exchange for possessions that I value far more, and I am not fool enough to be led by my tongue, perhaps an even more pitiful master than the morality of the vegans, to accept a bad bargain! I do not take kindly to having the accumulation of my possessions devalued, and, so, I will fight for the lives of animals, only because they are of greater value to me; the moment that their lives lose that value, I will abandon my battle without a second thought! The pig that I am to wash up alone with on the barren, desert island is already as good as dead to me, but, whilst I can extract a greater value from animals alive, I shall!

My diet may be the more restricted, but it is your consumption that is truly limited!

This should make for an amusing thumbnail.