It’s a well-known fact of parenthood that what belongs to your kids belongs to your kids, and what you once loved as yours and yours alone will soon be theirs too, fairness be damned. This is especially true of any electronic gadgets. I once enjoyed the exclusive right to call upon my amiable robot friend Alexa to chat about the weather, or the news, or just to stream dusty old tunes from yesteryear (2004). But that all ended once my kids realized they had the power to override me and command Alexa themselves. My once-contented mornings with David Greene and the NPR crew are now cut off by sleepy-eyed, PJ-clad brigands who show up for breakfast and simply must hear “The Hamster Dance” or yet another Guy Raz kids podcast, or maybe they want to ask Alexa whether she has gone poop.

Well, joke’s on them—they are messing with a full-blooded dad, one in total possession of petty and useless dad skills. I will stoop as low as it takes to fool and delight them, and Alexa has all the built-in tools I need. Should you want to fight back and own your kids like a boss, you need to check out Alexa Routines—little customizable commands you can create that tell Alexa to say or do pretty much whatever you want.

I happen to be content with the number of times I’ve heard the song “Baby Shark,” and I feel no need to hear it ever again in this life or the next. So I whipped up a quick Routine in about 30 seconds, and now, should anyone dare to utter the command “Alexa, play ‘Baby Shark,’” Alexa will reply, “Ooh, not in this house, sucker!” and then play Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train.”

You can use that trick for any other tune, podcast, or really any Alexa query that has worn out its welcome. Or get creative and add other smart devices into the mix—if you have smart bulbs, you can have them turn off, or turn on and shift color to something unnerving, perhaps a deep red. Seeing your kids’ eyes go wide and their expressions sink as they realize they have been defeated is inexpressibly delicious.

To mimic this Routine or brew your own recipe, go into the Alexa app you used to set up your Alexa device. In the upper-left corner, click on the lines and then select “Routines.” Then click the + symbol in the upper-right corner and you’re off. The idea is to choose a trigger by selecting “When this happens” and then an action, or several, to take. If you want to create a trigger phrase, select “Voice,” and then enter the words you want your kids to stop saying. Hit “Next,” and then choose what action you want to have happen. You can add several actions and also pick which speakers will play or make an announcement. As a coup de grace, I also set up the Echo Dot upstairs to say “night night” at 8 p.m. every weekday, dim a light in my kids’ bedroom, and then go into Do Not Disturb mode, so they can’t pull any sneaky shenanigans.

So the next time you hear someone diss Alexa, just remember: It may not be perfect, but at least it’s on your side (for now).