Family and fans help me fight on: In moving words dictated by blinking, former Boro star Gary Parkinson reveals his battle with locked-in syndrome



Former Middlesbrough and Burnley footballer Gary Parkinson was struck down by locked-in syndrome — a condition that has left him aware and awake but unable to move or speak — three years ago while working as a coach at Blackpool. He made his first public appearance since then at the Riverside Stadium on Boxing Day. This column was written with the help of Gary’s son, Luke.



As Gary is unable to speak, he uses his eyes to work through the alphabet with Luke, identifying which letter and word to use by blinking. These are Gary’s thoughts about his battle, his return to football and how family and friends have renewed his passion for life.

September 6, 2010 and my Blackpool Under 18s side had started the season unbeaten, a normal day of training at the club’s Squires Gate training ground had gone by like any other and I had gone to bed without a trouble in the world.

Crowd favourite: Gary Parkinson with wife Deborah (left) and son Luke at The Riverside Stadium

Around 6am, I woke with a severe headache, my wife Deborah brought me a paracetamol and a glass of water. I struggled to hold the glass and that’s when Deborah said she was going to ring an ambulance.

Minutes then turned to hours as I was rushed to the Royal Bolton Hospital to be tested for a host of possible problems. The initial thoughts were of an inner-ear infection and the doctor prescribed some medication with a view to me returning home within 24 hours. As Deborah went to pick up the prescription, things changed for the worse and I was taken into intensive care and placed on a ventilator to stop any further damage to my brain and body.

From this point, I have very little recollection of events and without the help of my family I wouldn’t be able to remember what happened in the weeks that followed.

After being taken to intensive care, three brain scans were carried out on me to diagnose my symptoms.

Close family: The brave former footballer is supported brilliantly by those around him It wasn’t until two days later, with the third scan, that the extent of the illness was truly diagnosed — a brain stem stroke leaving me with locked-in syndrome, a condition that completely shut down my ability to move any body parts apart from my eyes.

After six weeks of hospitalisation it was agreed that my position had stabilised enough for me to be transferred to a neuro-rehabilitation unit, where I spent the next two years on a programme of intense rehabilitation.

This was extremely difficult and demanding for my family, who had an hour round-trip to see me each day.

That was something my wife, Deborah, and my children did every single day without fail — Christmas Day, New Year’s Day, they were there with me every step of the way. There were some bad days for me, as there would be for anybody. Just imagine being in a room on your own once visiting times had finished, not being able to move or speak.

Fine player: Gary Parkinson featured for both Burnley and Middlesbrough before retiring

At times I would shed a tear or two. At the end of the day I am a family man, I love my family and I just wanted to go home with them, to the place I belonged. That hope became a reality shortly before Christmas 2012.

My first night back at home was incredible. Our family home was adapted thanks to the support of fundraisers of the Gary Parkinson Trust and everything from bathrooms to lifts has been fitted to fulfil my every need. Having my family sitting around my bed that night was something I had dreamed about since my life had changed.

Twelve months have passed since then and being at home to watch my children Luke, 20, Chloe, 17, and Sophie, 10, come home from school, college and university each day is something that most people would take for granted but for me it is quality time I thought I might never see again.

It is the little things such as these — and being able to go out shopping with Deborah — that keep me remaining positive.

Ball player: Gary Parkinson's impact at Middlesbrough has clearly not been forgotten about

Without them I don’t think I would have ever been able to go back to a football ground as I did on Boxing Day to watch my two former clubs, Middlesbrough and Burnley, at the Riverside Stadium. That day was a huge step in my progress and rehabilitation.

Football has been a major part of my life since I was a child and to be back around the atmosphere of a match day was a great feeling. I was very anxious on the way up to the game as it was my first real public outing since being taken ill and I wasn’t sure about the perception people would have of me sat in my wheelchair.

Both clubs were great and I would like to thank Middlesbrough chairman Steve Gibson, who had invited me up to the game to go in a hospitality box.

Within half an hour of arriving at the stadium, Steve had been to see me alongside Neil Bausor, Keith Lamb and Burnley directors Barry Kilby and Clive Holt. That’s not to mention the host of friends and former team-mates in Lee Turnbull, Gary Hamilton, Gary Gill and Bernie Slaven.

Emotional day: Boxing Day represented Gary Parkinson's first football match in over three years Nice touch: Boro chairman Steve Gibson (right, with Aitor Karanka) invited Gary Parkinson to the game

But the feeling I will never forget came from the fans that day at the Riverside. As I came out on to the pitch alongside my family just minutes before kick-off, to see all 20,000 fans — including 5,000 from Burnley — on their feet, applauding and singing my name is something that has really given me a huge lift and the motivation to keep moving forward.

Of course I still have my dark days where I get upset and wonder why all this had to happen to me, but what kind of person doesn’t have a down day?

I appreciate my family so much because when those dark days come along they are always there to keep me thinking positively, whether that’s talking about my playing days or just something one of the children has been doing with their friends. Their positivity always brings a smile to my face.

I thank all the fans, and all the friends for the support they continue to give me but without my family — and particularly my wife, Deborah — it would have been hard to keep on fighting.