The Seleucid Empire

TEXT Friday, 06 May 2016 Your ENTJ Unit User Survival Guide and Manual Thanks to @intpboard for letting me do this :)

CONGRATULATIONS!

An ENTJ unit has been bestowed upon you. This ENTJ comprehensive user survival guide and manual will detail every necessary step in order to manage and care for your ENTJ (if they let you). Please return non-compliant models and enter a request for a replacement with our ENFJ customer service officer.

Your ENTJ unit will come with the following accessories:

Two (2) everyday outfits (business casual).



Three (3) suits (Jet Black, Charcoal Grey, Navy Blue)/dresses (Jet Black, Electric Blue, Blood Red) for more formal events.

Three (3) pairs of shoes (daily wear, comfort and formal events)

Two (2) watches (daily wear and formal events)

One (1) mobile device which constantly receives alerts and messages.



One (1) personal brooding corner for world domination planning space.



One (1) Take Charge TM Real World Correction System TM .



Real World Correction System . One (1) weapons system to encourage compliance.



One (1) locked Strongbox of Feels TM . Might arrive damaged. Not covered under our return policy. Fiddle at your own risk.



. Might arrive damaged. Not covered under our return policy. Fiddle at your own risk. One (1) passcode to locked Strongbox of Feels TM . ENTJ units would respond aggressively (with Excessive Force TM ) if forced to reveal passcode. Passcodes will only be revealed if ENTJ units are convinced of understanding and acceptance, but can be changed without notice if ENTJ units no longer deem passcode holders to be Premium Users.

. ENTJ units would respond aggressively (with Excessive Force ) if forced to reveal passcode. Passcodes will only be revealed if ENTJ units are convinced of understanding and acceptance, but can be changed without notice if ENTJ units no longer deem passcode holders to be Premium Users. One (1) locked caring and protectiveness module for Premium Users.



One (1) personal secretary to schedule your ENTJ unit’s time.

One (1) “The 48 Laws of Power” book.

Software: Your ENTJ unit comes pre-programmed with the following traits: Te: Your ENTJ will utilise its Take ChargeTM Real World Correction SystemTM to select and act on the most efficient and impactful route. Your ENTJ is highly capable of enforcing and pushing for the completion of tasks.

Ni: Your ENTJ unit’s brooding side stems from Ni, where it is used to stimulate direction for its Te. This provides your ENTJ unit with the drive to reach towards a better future (with your ENTJ unit as the global hegemon of course).

Se: Your ENTJ unit has the ability to quickly receive and collate information from the environment and physical results of their actions. This grounds your ENTJ in reality, allowing for quick adjustments to action plans.

Fi: Your ENTJ unit’s true drive is derived from its Fi. This provides personal morality and values to direct your ENTJ unit’s deepest desires and goals. However, it is often under-utilised and partially broken, so it is tucked away in your ENTJ unit’s Strongbox of FeelsTM.

Getting Started:

Fast boot (WARNING: This booting of your ENTJ unit would also trigger Excessive ForceTM )

Accuse your ENTJ unit (unfairly so) of being incapable/other unique triggers (model specific). Proceed to engage in intellectual debate or physical exchange. Normal booting Provide your ENTJ unit with a to-do list. Engage your ENTJ unit with potential ways to approach the tasks. Wait for a short while for Quick StartupTM to engage. Trouble shooting inability to boot Provide your ENTJ unit with its brooding corner for auto-reset of functioning capability. Cuddle your ENTJ unit (For Premium Users only).

Your ENTJ unit should now be booted up and ready to go!

Modes: Task master:(Default) This is the default setting for your ENTJ unit, where it would push for the completion of tasks and demand compliance on common goals and plans.

Brooding nerd/geek: (Default): The secondary default setting for your ENTJ unit. Only activated when there is no one around your ENTJ unit to bother/engage it. Allows your ENTJ unit to formulate its devious plans. Chilling: (Default): The secondary default setting for your ENTJ unit. Only activated when your ENTJ unit is safe and does not have to take up too much responsibility.

Take ChargeTM : Activated when there is an emergency and quick maneuvering as well as changes to the game plan must be made. ENTJ unit will demand immediate unquestioning compliance while taking up all responsibility to resolve the situation. Binging party animal: Activated only when your ENTJ unit is presented with the opportunity to enjoy excessive material enjoyment without the need to take responsibility. Alternative activation pathway includes high continuous stress, which pushes your ENTJ unit to narcotise itself. Shutting down: Activated when your ENTJ unit is too stressed out and cannot handle its Fi well. Characterised by self-isolation, intense self-loathing and general withdrawal from its usual extensive socialising.

Unleashing Strongbox of FeelsTM: (open alpha)

WARNING: POTENTIAL INSTABILITY OF ENTJ UNIT

Dark Knight: Activated when someone important to them/a weak underdog is unfairly treated, utilising its caring and protectiveness module. Will simultaneously activate Excessive ForceTM for your ENTJ unit to protect its target.

Eruption of Fi: Activated when your ENTJ unit is unable to contain Fi any further. Often characterised by initial ranting, self-isolation and quiet seething before your ENTJ unit transforms into Satan. Sharing of Fi: (Premium Users only) Activated when your ENTJ unit values you, would like to share its insufficient and often partially broken Fi with you and feels safe sharing (will not be manipulated). Your ENTJ unit might require your help to put away/patch its Fi.

Relationships with other Units: Faulty ENTJ Unit: You agree with me? = Good you should

You disagree with me? = BulldozeTM Functioning ENTJ Unit: NT: Generally enjoyable to be around. NTJs are pretty reliable to work with and your ENTJ unit often find them good working partners. NTPs are often a lot less reliable, but your ENTJ unit value their creative contributions if they work out to be the better solution.

NF: Generally quite odd to your ENTJ unit, which often intrigues them to interact more with NFs. Can have the potential to hit off quite well, especially for NFPs.

SJ: The few who can rival your ENTJ unit in terms of sheer stubbornness. However, they are often highly valued for their reliability, loyalty and work ethic. While some SJs can hold your ENTJ unit back (which will annoy them), they also help to provide an alternative point of view in reviewing your ENTJ unit’s game plan that can prevent the repeat of mistakes.

SP: Viewed as one of the chillest that your ENTJ unit interacts with. It’s pretty much hit and miss with this one.

Sustenance: Your ENTJ unit would feed itself when it is functioning. However, high stress can destabilise your ENTJ unit’s feeding module, resulting in either over consumption due to binging, or under consumption due to the presence of more pressing events/worry. Your ENTJ unit generally appreciates gifts of good food.

Grooming:

Your ENTJ unit generally displays itself presentably. It might offer to help with your grooming if it deems you incapable of dressing presentably. Personal hygiene is also taken care of by your ENTJ unit because it is necessary for task completion efficiency.

Sleeping:

Your ENTJ unit will only sleep when the necessary tasks are accomplished/when it is more efficient to sleep and work when refreshed.

FAQ: My ENTJ unit has suddenly hid away from humans, what do I do? Let your ENTJ unit brood away in its corner. Offer help and support to your ENTJ unit, but don’t force them to take it.

My ENTJ unit is malfunctioning and is threatening to destroy the world, what should I do? Quickly deactivate your ENTJ unit and approach our friendly ENFJ customer service officer for a replacement. Or fight it if you dare.

My ENTJ unit just shared its world domination plans with me, what do I even do?????? Congratulations! Your ENTJ unit now trusts you greatly and deems you worthy of being a Premium User. Be supportive of its plans, but call out any mistakes in those action plans so that your ENTJ unit can achieve greatest efficiency (functioning ENTJ units will value your contributions).

Again, CONGRATULATIONS on the acquisition of your new ENTJ unit.

Posted 4 years ago | 544 notes









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