Stormy Daniels, née Stephanie Gregory Clifford, clearly provided the only bipartisan, if bare-breasted, satisfaction for voters over a weekend in which moderate U.S. senators sought unsuccessfully to “strike a deal to end government shutdown” (per The Washington Post), “break shutdown logjam” (Politico) or serve as “shutdown fixers” (Fox).

Consider: Whether it was David Broder, Theodore White, Dan Rather, Sam Donaldson, Jim Acosta, Major Garrett, Maureen Dowd, Ron Fournier or Savannah Guthrie, how many reporters who’ve covered a presidency have been assigned to a South Carolina strip club?

Well, that was the deal Saturday night in Greenville, where members of the national media descended on the Trophy Club (“Making America Horny Again” was the slogan outside) to see two shows starring Daniels, the most famous porn star to have allegedly had relations with a president.

Given how the Trump’s faux government crisis hasn’t fully resolved—perhaps the Senate should beckon Tom Brady to assist in miraculously skirting ignominy—the weekend’s primary Trump-related highlight involved the porn star to whom Trump reportedly paid $130,000 to stay mum on their relationship.

“‘I’m trying to think of what I can say,’ said the woman of the hour, sighing and shuddering simultaneously, as if to convey she’s been through an ordeal. She was in between performances, signing autographs and taking topless photos with oglers in a corner of the smoky club.”

That was from the dispatch of Dan Zak of The Washington Post. He had rather more pleasurable duty than his colleagues back at the office hanging on to every utterance of the uncharismatic Senator Mitch McConnell and Senator Chuck Schumer. And then there were normal Americans, probably far more concerned with Vikings, Eagles, Jaguars and, yes, the Patriots and Brady, the Dorian Gray of pro football.

Zak’s due diligence of necessity included a not-quite 60 Minutes-like interrogation of Jay Levy, the club’s owner. “I’m an old grandfather, and I seized an opportunity. I’m a liberal. I’m a big-time liberal,” he said. “I’m not here for the scandal. I’m here to make money off the biggest name in adult entertainment this week.”

But wait, here’s the money quote procured by both Zak and The New York Times’s Matt Flegenheimer (apologies to those others who also extracted the same soaring bon mots): “‘We’re Cheers with tits,’ said Levy, smoking a filtered Camel in his office earlier Saturday as the Greenville Women’s March finished downtown.”

Having once traveled around South Carolina with Senator Lindsey Graham, I can assure that a masterful retail politician could surely have offered insights about Levy and his universe. But Graham was presumably preoccupied with the shutdown—and his golf partner, Trump, now badmouthing him over immigration. So knock on wood for the Charleston City Paper. In a very consumer-oriented set-up to Daniels’s late Saturday-early/Sunday appearances, it offered a primer from Greenville native Vincent Harris. His advice on where to stop while in town included, “CresCom Bank main branch, 1111 W. Poinsett St., Greer. They're open from 9 a.m.-noon on Saturdays, and you’ll need to stop by and get some $2 bills. It‘s kind of a strip-club tipping etiquette thing.”

Thanks, Vincent. Find the journalism school that will teach you that!

Upending the Facebook-Google online advertising “duopoly”

TechCrunch explains why Martin Sorrell, boss of the largest advertising company, thinks that 2018 is the year that Amazon sharply raises its game and evolves into an ad and search company (presumably further leaving traditional media in the dust of declining ad revenues).