Valentine’s Day is traditionally reserved for romantic dinners, flowers, chocolate and clothing the world in red. It’s a time to express devotion and appreciation to our significant other.

But parenthood often changes us in ways big and small, readjusting our values and priorities, even on a holiday set aside for amorous fun.

The origin of Valentine’s Day is one of those traditions enshrouded in mystery - part history and part legend. Some people believe the Catholic Church reimagined the pagan fertility festival of Lupercalia, which was held each February 15th – and instead refocused attention on Saint Valentine, a martyred priest who defied the emperor’s orders and married lovers in secret.

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Regardless of where the facts end and the fiction begins, Valentine’s Day has become big business. According to the National Retail Federation, Americans will spend $27.4 billion this year – up from just over $20 billion in 2019.

That’s a lot of chocolate and red roses!

But what do men really want for Valentine’s Day – especially fathers?

More than anything, men want to be loved and respected by their wives – and loved by their children, to the point their kids enjoy spending time with them.

Society often depicts fathers as bumbling fools, but being a dad is hard work. The demands they feel are very real – there’s the boss at the office and the bills that never stop.

Just when you think you’re getting ahead, the hot water heater blows out or the car breaks down. After a long day of work, you have to referee squabbles at home, taxi kids to practices and spend your Saturday mornings down at the ballfield.

More than anything, men want to be loved and respected by their wives – and loved by their children, to the point their kids enjoy spending time with them.

And if you don’t work, the kids won’t eat and the mortgage will be foreclosed on – so, no pressure.

But the parenting season is so brief and so quick that it’s only the short-sighted father who doesn’t try to maximize time with his kids. So, good dads keep trying to find points of connection with the family.

As someone who grew up in a dysfunctional home – my father was abusive to my mother and abandoned us when I was five - I’m acutely aware of what kids want because I know what I missed.

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So, I parent out of my pain. I’m eager to spend time with my sons, Trent and Troy, doing the things they love and the things we love doing together.

We love to camp, ride our ATVs, ski and go to ballgames. We have special memories of hunting and fishing in Colorado’s aspen and pine forests or up in Big Sky Country in Montana.

Both of my boys are in their late teens now, and if I could, I would turn back the clock and relive highlights of the past.

But I can’t. None of us can.

Time is the world’s most precious and yet fleeting commodity. We all get the same amount of it each day, yet we sometimes seem to think everybody else has more of it than we do.

I don’t know where you’re at this Valentine’s Day week. Gallup recently suggested the majority of people are happy with their economic status – but what about life at home with your family?

Maybe you’re struggling with your spouse or wishing you could spend more time with your kids. Healing wounds is never easy – but it’s always worth the time and effort.

As a Christian father, I want my boys to love God and have a personal relationship with the Creator and Savior of the world.

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“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth,” the apostle John wrote.

What does this father want this year? To say thank you and happy Valentine’s day to my beautiful wife, Jean. She has been there for me and our boys through good times and bad. I want to thank her for her love and bask in her love reflected back at me. THAT is the best Valentine’s gift of all.

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