October 29, 2009 - The Soldier

The Powers That Be have instructed me to pen another dispatch for you unfortunates. How many goddamn words do you people need? In my day you wrote just enough words to convey meaning: "Secure that damn hill." "I will have more sausages." "This man spoke trash and I strangled him." Today's writing is complicated and has to mean two things at the same time, or it won't win writing awards. Double intendreys. Metafores. If I meet the Billy Shakespeare who came up with that nancy-assed garbage, I will bury my war-foot so far up his ass it will be a foot and a half up his ass.



At any rate: If you weren't one of the lucky few who received one of the 10,319 Ghostly Gibus Hats, you can still get your hands on one by dominating any son of a bitch you see wearing it in the Harvest map. It'll look better on you than on a dead man, that's how I see it.



That's probably enough words. If you want more, go buy a dictionary, and as long as you're at the store, pick up a pretty dress to wear to your Ladies' Looking Up Words party.



The Soldier