When I was younger, my youth group would take a semiannual trip to the LDS Bishop’s Storehouse about three hours away. The Bishop’s Storehouse is very much like the Canneries or other food packaging service centers that at which LDS youth groups occasionally volunteer except that the Storehouse is designed to look like a 1960’s grocery store. The Bishop Storehouse is set up to provide food assistance to tithe-paying members that first have to get approval from their Bishop before making a request for food donations. The Bishop must give his approval to ensure that the requesting family is only getting what they need and only enough to provide some assistance through a tough time. At least, that was my perception of how that worked.

Typically, a youth group arrives for the day and the group is split in half — one half goes into the back of the Storehouse and unloads truck deliveries and loads them onto storage shelves, the other half stays in the storefront and walks around with a shopping cart and grabs items like flour, gelatin packets, and whatever else is listed on each family’s Bishop-Approved “Wishlist.” These youth groups only collect food for families in their own ward. After all the food has been selected for the Ward’s families that need assistance, the youth packs up the food in boxes to be taken to the respective families when they get back to their hometown. The service is quick, easy, and it gives the youth the ability to brag that people in the LDS church are charitable and volunteer all the time.

I remember we once went to the Storehouse close to Thanksgiving. While it wasn’t every family, most families received a frozen turkey with the rest of their food list. Among the list of families that was meant to receive food during our trip was the family of one of our Bishopric members, the First Counselor. His family was usually on the list and always got food when we went to the Storehouse. It was common to see the First Counselor’s shopping cart filled with the most amount of cardboard boxes when we loaded the food at the end of the day, although it would be difficult to say that his family was “struggling” by any means. I don’t think anybody ever thought anything of it. It only became a conversation piece during this Thanksgiving trip.

I was assigned to fill the shopping cart with the First Counselor’s food. When we got near the end of getting all the food, the turkeys were the last thing we loaded. Every family before them got one turkey. The First Counselor’s family got four. Four frozen turkeys which weren’t in any way small or lightweight. The First Counselor’s family wasn’t that large either, only five family members. We gave only one turkey to a family of nine who clearly struggled financially, but the First Counselor’s family received four and a whole bunch more food in general. Nobody expressed any concerns about it, but eyebrows were raised and the First Counselor was gossiped about by the youth for a few weeks. I can’t say that the excess food wasn’t given to other families that the First Counselor knew personally, as this was one of the rumors that was spread. Even if it was a case of good intentions, then why was the standard process of the Bishop Interview not used? Or separate shopping lists for each family? These processes are allegedly set up in place to prevent the waste and abuse of the Storehouse by people who didn’t need the assistance. So why, then, was the common practice of documenting each family’s name and the specific food items not followed while during the same trip that those same documents existed for all of the other families? Mind you, as a child that grew up to be an Auditor, I always had a knack for professional skepticism my entire life. This was the first out of two instances where I questioned the Bishop’s judgement on food donations.

The second event happened nearly a year later. The youth trip to the Bishop’s Storehouse went as usual. It was fun for the youth, an excuse to hang out and socialize around some heavy equipment. It wasn’t until we got back to the church building that I noticed something I hadn’t seen when we were packing the boxes of food. There it was: a box with my own family’s last name on it. I was flabbergasted. I knew for a fact that my family didn’t need this box of food. We weren’t the wealthiest members in our ward by any means, but as a high ranking Officer in the Military my father did well to provide for my family.

When I got home, I confronted my father about this. Nobody in my family requested the food and my mother was just as surprised as I was. Clearly it was a gift from the Bishop. My father suggested that it was nice of the Bishop to think of my family as my father transitioned out of the military. Sure, my father was transitioning out of the military, but when you retire from the military you still receive retirement checks every month and it’s not like he hadn’t already found a new job. Again, we did not need this food. Surely there were more deserving members that truly struggled that didn’t get this food. Thankfully, my mother saw it fit that we should use the food given to us to provide meals to those in the same Ward that didn’t get any food but struggled nonetheless.

After this instance with my own family, I began to realize how malleable church service was. There was never a guarantee that we were actually providing service to someone that desperately needed it. Looking back, I recalled the names of most families that received assistance, and I began to be much more skeptical in regard to how badly those families really needed that food. My attitudes about the church did not change at this time, but my attitudes about service and volunteering did change. I had concerns that Charity and service projects within the church seemed to always be focused on the church itself. On the local level, Mormons only helped other Mormons or investigators.

I thought to myself, “but what about Community Service?” Charity had a new meaning to me now. Sure, I could spend a Saturday morning planting flowers in the Ward Clerk’s front lawn or I could spend my time helping those that desperately need help such as the homeless or the elderly that are unable to prepare their own meals. Personally, I found my new calling to be in Animal Welfare. To me, getting animals out of shelters and into loving homes gave my life purpose.

A while later, when I was attending a new Ward, I was discussing with the Bishop some of my concerns with church service because I felt as though I made much more change in the world when I did community service than when I did church service activities. We are responsible for being good people and to be charitable towards others. My Bishop said:

“Although you are doing good service towards others, you still need to participate in church service activities: otherwise, it doesn’t count and doesn’t progress the mission of the church.”

Essentially, I was told that the church is charitable and promotes service, but the church only wants you to participate in select kinds of service regardless of the needs of non-Mormons or animals. This is what we do, and this is how we do it.

To my constant readers, I implore you to discover what brings you joy in life. Find a way to give service to some purpose you know in your heart is the right thing to do. Personally, I have never felt so fulfilled since leaving the church and giving my time and energy to helping animals instead. Imagine the change that you can bring to someones life by giving the time and energy that otherwise would’ve been spent on church activities. Imagine the impact if everyone found a way to help develop the world instead of just helping to promote their church.

Noncommericial use of the featured image courtesy of lds.org