Albis

A 34-year-old Ashburn man was charged with battery and pot possession after he allegedly stuck his hand up the butt of an 19-year-old man who was sleeping at the Belmont Red Line station.

The victim told police that he was catching a few Z’s when Nawaf S. Albis “penetrated his rectum with his hand” and then threw hot coffee on the teen when he tried to stop the assault, according to a police report.

Cops say they subsequently found two bags of pot in Albis’ shoe during a custodial search. The victim declined to pursue sexual assault charges, police said.

Alexander

• In other awkward advances at the Belmont stop: A 61-year-old Rogers Park man is charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after a stranger turned down his sexual advances outside the Belmont Red Line station, according to court records.

The 27-year-old victim told police that Christopher Alexander complimented his looks and “stated that he wanted to take him home for some fun.” When the victim responded that he’s not gay, Alexander allegedly pulled out a knife and threatened to stab the man. A CTA canine unit detained Alexander until police arrived.

Brown

• Prosecutors say 40-year-old Anthony Brown of North Lawndale walked into the Avis rental car at 3721 N. Broadway, went behind the counter, and told a bystander, “watch this. I’m going to act like I own this place.”

He then took a set of car keys and went into the lot to see which car beeped when he hit the remote, and got inside, according to court records.

Police arrived and arrested Brown before he left the lot. He’s charged with theft and criminal trespass to a vehicle for the July 3 incident.

Nowak

• Police who responded to Chicago Fire Department paramedics’ call for help in Boystown late last month came upon a bizarre scene.

They found Mitchell Nowak “getting into [the paramedics’] faces” while EMS tried to help an injured woman, according to court records. When Nowak saw the police, he stole a bystander’s bicycle and pedaled down Halsted Street. Cops chased Nowak on foot until he crashed into a car at Halsted and Roscoe, police said.

43-year-old Nowak of Arlington Heights is charged with pot possession, theft (of the bike), and criminal damage to property (the car).

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