Sexts are going old school with a snail mail option.

While the eggplant emoji is a standard choice for colorful sexters everywhere, a new company has decided to allow romantics to send actual, real-life eggplants to their lovers.

Meet Eggplant Mail.

The company will send an anonymous, 16-word message scrawled on an eggplant to recipients anywhere in the world for just £6.99, or about $10.

"The idea began as a birthday present for a friend," Eggplant Mail owner Jack told Mashable in an email. "He has a weird habit of signing off texts with the eggplant emoji, so whilst walking through my local fruit market I had an idea: I could send him a far weirder real life penis emoji."

Thus, a business was born.

Image: eggplant mail

"The purpose of this business is to help people send disturbing phallic eggplants to their haters, lovers and mothers," Jack said.

Think of it as a sensual food delivery service, though the people behind Eggplant Mail advise recipients of the sexy vegetable not to eat it. Apparently the mix of permanent marker used and germs acquired in shipping could prove perilous to health.

Eggplant Mail may seem reminiscent of Potato Parcel — the company that sends anonymous messages engraved on spuds — and, well, it's basically the same thing. But sexy. Kinda.

"This business works. People can post their own potatoes or mail their own bags of gummy dicks, but it's more convenient to pay someone else to do it," Jack explained. "This is why potato parcel and dicks by mail are still profitable. The same applies for eggplants."





Image: eggplant mail





Image: eggplant mail

When asked about how many eggplants have been shipped thus far, Jack is keeping his lips sealed.

"We're not giving away any numbers yet," he said. "But we're seriously expanding storage space."





[h/t Elite Daily]

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