I was honored to be invited to the first United State of Women Summit in Washington D.C. on June 14th, designed to bring women (and men…like, seven of them!) together to discuss the successes, failures, and ongoing struggles of gender equality. It had the potential for magic – weird and awesome magic, straight-up unicorns-vomiting-rainbows-of-equal-pay magic! While I am confident this event has a strong and successful future, as long as they continue working to improve and maintain quality of speakers and topics, I was left with an overall feeling of concern for its risk of devolution.

When I walked into the convention center, my breath was taken away – the room we were in could probably fit six large commercial airplanes! Of course, I tend to do mass measurements in units of “how many cats”, so by my calculations, we could have definitely had like three cats attend. In fact, I’m a little offended there were no cats. Why weren’t there cats? Another failure on the part of this White House hosted summit! But I digress…

A sense of buzzing enthusiasm and excitement resonated through the convention center. And why not? 5,000 passionate men and women from all over the United States were brought together to discuss the ways we as a country and as individuals could progress in the movement for equality.

I was awestruck at the diversity of agendas and opinions at my table, alone! Across from me at my table were war veteran PTSD researchers, who were using this event to begin delving into the topic of PTSD of female victims of assault. I sat between a few teachers who were coming from a Catholic high school in a financially disadvantaged part of New York. There was even a survivor of the Sandy Hooks Elementary School shooting, who was transitioning careers into gun control advocacy. Being surrounded by such a variety of women was intimidating, to say the least. After all, I was invited to this event for being a crass female comic who openly resented the term “comedienne” for segregating male and female performers. What was a big-mouthed nobody like me doing around all of these people who were so devoted to such valuable causes? I kept expecting someone to come up behind me and tap me on the shoulder and say, “Sorry, your nomination was an accident. Please go tell your fart jokes elsewhere.”

I tried to remain cool and collected. After all, I was wearing business slacks, which means you better have your sh*t together. However, when the speakers began coming out, the inner fangirl in me began to take control, and my façade of composure disintegrated like Kylie Jenner’s face on a humid day. The first big name to step out was Joe Biden. Generally, I consider his speeches to be about as passionate as a cardboard box rotting in a rain gutter, but when he spoke of the hundreds of women he’d met who had been assaulted, you could hear the disgust and shame in his voice. His emotions and sincerity drew his listeners in, and many women mentioned that they were relieved to hear a man sound so violated for female victims.

President Barack Obama’s speech was unexpectedly blunt, yet inspiring. He warned us that many of us “feminists” still box people in by their gender stereotypes. I felt like he was pulling thoughts from my heart and sharing them with the room. It was like a drink of ice cold water after a long hike on a hot day. I felt my entire body lose tension with the epiphany: this guy gets it.

First Lady Michelle Obama and Oprah came up and spoke together, which was fun to watch. Admittedly, I was not quite as moved by their words, but I’ll be perfectly honest here, the minute I found out Amy Poehler would be speaking soon, I kind of just blacked out from fangirl hysteria until she reached the stage.

When she spoke, I was brimming with reverence. As usual, her passion jacked me up into an explosion of pure joy. Unfortunately, her speech threw me a little when she said “women can do most things better than men”. In my eyes, belittling the abilities of men is only asking for further segregation. As far as I’m concerned, gender equality should be about appreciation for skills and minds, there should be absolutely no focus on whether you are male or female. But, she played Leslie Knope, who is my spirit animal, so I let it slide.

The speeches were inspiring, the tone of the day was magically positive, and the company of the thousands of cheering women and men was welcomed. There is so much potential for this yearly event to become something inspiring for the youth of today. However, as aforementioned, I have a couple of concerns. First of all, the women that were nominated to attend were given less than a month’s notice as to their invitation. Less than a month to request time off of work, book a hotel and a flight, and prepare. While I was fortunate enough to already have a trip planned nearby, it saddened me to think of all the people with low incomes and less convenient scenarios who had lost the opportunity to have their voices heard at such an important event. It puts at risk the possibility for women of various economic states to come together and discuss the struggles they face as individuals as well as in their financial bracket. Secondly, Amy Poehler wasn’t the only one to carry the tune of “anything men can do, women can do better”. In fact, it was uncomfortably consistent throughout the event. If women are so offended by men switching that phrase around and using it against women, how does it promote equality to use it against men? Yes, men have had benefits that women throughout history have not, but how are women to inspire them to see women as equals if women focus on what makes us better? Although it may be difficult, if we wish to achieve true equality, you cannot hold the issues of the past against those who did not actively cause them. Just because men are men does not give us the freedom to resent them for the garbage decisions made by men long before them. If anything, by doing this we women will only offer men a reason to resent women, and a reason to fear this equality, because we are saying that women will be better, women will be more…and doesn’t that imply that men are less? Isn’t that precisely the mentality we are trying to prevent? Why would that draw a man’s enthusiasm? As a woman, it sure wouldn’t inspire me if it was the other way around.

When I left the summit, I was reminded that the hardest part of equality is reminding oneself that it goes both ways, and that if we will not stand for phrases such as “A man would be better at that”, why should a man stand for it? The movement for gender equality is a fascinatingly double-edged sword that, with open communication, self-awareness (as well as social awareness), and a willingness to stand firm while maintaining empathy, can become a marvelously successful tool. However, when used in the throes of emotion, or with an unwillingness to see the thought processes of those one may not relate to, it can lead to further segregation of the sexes.

All in all, this event was wonderfully inspiring and motivating. It brought a lot of powerful people together with a lot of excited minds, and true greatness can come from such a mix. I am sure that, if my concerns are addressed, this summit will continue inspiring men and women alike to work together towards a greater future for many years to come.