Lehigh Men’s Basketball team faces the Duke Blue Devils on Friday in the NCAA Basketball Tournament and, well, I don’t think anyone who is trying to win their office pool has Lehigh winning, but, OH MAN what if it happened?

What if Lehigh went down there and upset Duke? Not only would it be one of the biggest upsets in the history of the NCAA Tournament, it would also be one of the biggest upsets in sports history, period.

I’m not going to go into a big history lesson on how great the Duke program is or how much the Lehigh Valley is rooting for Lehigh, we’re all pretty versed on that, I’m just curious, what would happen if Lehigh actually won?

Here’s how I think it’d go down.

9:45 p.m. Lehigh’s men somehow hold a 2 point lead going into the final minute of the game. All of the bars in South Bethlehem start to fill with people saying “Oh my god.” and “Holy shit.”

9:46 p.m. The final buzzer sounds and Lehigh pulls a 2 point win over Duke. 743 Lehigh students simultaneously hug each other in the largest recorded show of affection on one college campus, per capita, in recorded history.

9:47 p.m. The first Lehigh student is charged with public drunkeness after falling out of his first story window wearing only a bedsheet.

9:48 p.m. J.P. MacGrady’s Pub serves up the largest single order of Jager shots in the history of modern science. The bar owner immediately decides where to retire to.

10:00 p.m. The streets of South Bethlehem are awash with guys in backwards baseball hats and girls in UGG boots all trying to remember the school’s fight song. One guy finally Googles it on his iPhone.

10:01 p.m. The first video of Lehigh kids in the streets of South Bethlehem goes on Youtube.

10:15 p.m. The Bethlehem Horse Police come to the South side and allow the students to act like jerks for a solid 30 minutes before asking them rather politely to go home.

10:16 p.m. Bethlehem Hose Police pepper spray entire South side.

10:30 p.m. In the confusion, Lehigh frat kid mistakes Raven the police horse for Lehigh sorority girl.

11:00 p.m. Asa Packer rises from his grave and laughs at Lafayette.

11:15 p.m. Lafayette students make some excuse about how their school is better at football or something and keep talking about Homecoming.

Midnight: The collective BAC of South Bethlehem residents is 0.28.

1:00 a.m. All frats on Lehigh’s campus simultaneously catch on fire.

2:00 a.m. 37 Lehigh coeds tell guys they just met, “OK, but just this one time and only because Lehigh won.”

3:00 a.m. Facebook erupts with every Lehigh student making a post similar to this: “I toldsa you sooo we all kewna lehigfs woud kiakds duks ass!”

8:00 a.m. State of city emergency called by Mayor John Callahan after 89 students are rushed to ER for alcohol poisoning.

1:00 p.m. Lehigh cancels classes for two weeks to let everyone sober up.

Sometime in a few days: Lehigh loses in next round.

Rest of eternity: Lehigh students never let anyone forget they beat Duke. They die happy people.