Cynthia Germanotta and Lady Gaga co-founded the Born This Way Foundation in 2012. Through their work, the organization has helped young people address mental health challenges while learning how to make for a kinder, braver world. For Mental Health Awareness month, Germanotta writes for OprahMag.com about why this is a topic we urgently need to pay attention to—plus the lessons she's learned along the way.

As a mother, May always reminds me of the end of the school year and the excitement, uncertainty, anticipation, and accomplishment that my girls experienced. This season marks milestones for our children as they move into new phases in their lives. It’s such a hectic, hopeful time and, depending on the day, I’m sometimes relieved to be years removed from those memories—or I miss them desperately.

I know many parents are in the thick of those experiences and emotions right now, navigating the opportunities and obstacles that are a part of this time. But for families with a child experiencing a mental health issue, these challenges are all the more complicated.

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While it is easy to assume that mental health issues are triggered by the challenges of adulthood, the reality is that half emerge by the age of 14—and three quarters by age 24. In fact, one in five teenagers in the United States age 13 to 18 live with a mental health condition. Despite this prevalence, the average delay between the onset of symptoms and treatment is about a decade. That means most of our young people who are struggling with their mental health will do so for years without receiving the help they need.

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I know how hard it is to be the parent of a child in this situation—I’ve been there. My daughter Stefani, who most of you know as Lady Gaga, began to struggle with anxiety and depression when she was a teenager and, as an adult, she’s talked openly about her diagnosis with PTSD and her mental health in general.

As she and our family have navigated these challenges, I’ve learned so much that I wish I knew sooner. So in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, here are a few tips I wish I could share with my younger self.



Practice listening.

Not listening so that you can try to fix the problem—which I think is often our instinct as parents—but listening so that you can understand and validate their emotions. It’s such a simple step, but it can help demonstrate to your child that you care, that you are there for them, and that you aren’t going to judge them. According to our research and the many, many conversations my team and I have regularly with young people, that last part is critical.

Youth are like anyone else—they don’t want to open up or seek support if they feel like they might be judged. So practice listening—and sharing. Be honest about your own stresses and challenges in return, so that your child has a model for what communicating about mental wellness looks like, and so that they can see that you've been there, too and understand what they're going through.



I realize that I didn’t know the warning signs I should have been tracking with my own daughters.

Educate yourself.

Learn about what healthy adolescent development looks like versus the signs of an emerging mental health issue. For me, this is one that is particularly close to home. With the benefit of hindsight, I realize that I didn’t know the warning signs that I should have been tracking with my own daughters. That’s not surprising, since as a society we often miss opportunities to teach parents—and everyone else for that matter—what mental health challenges look like and how to best support someone who is struggling.



Gaga with Cynthia, Natali, and Joe Germanotta in 2017. Kevin Mazur Getty Images

Fortunately, that’s beginning to change. Programs like Mental Health First Aid can provide you with hands-on training to help spot the signs that your child is experiencing a mental health issue and the skills you need to support your family. It’s the practical knowledge I wish I had years ago when my daughter was first beginning to experience symptoms.



Build a “toolkit.”

Help your child compile the resources they can turn to when they need support. Our most recent research found that young people prioritize their mental health and would be comfortable using a wide variety of resources to support it, but often just don’t know where to go to find that help. This knowledge gap is a basic problem that, as parents, we can take steps to address today.



Start with learning about the services that exist in your community (and online) that your child might want to turn to one day—and start a conversation with them about these tools. Make it an ongoing dialogue—not one big, stressful “talk”—about the options for help that exist so that your child knows what is out there if and when they need it.

Don’t know where to get started? Born This Way Foundation is inviting our community to share the mental health resources they rely on this month using the hashtag #CKShoutOutTo Challenge on social media.



Helping to support someone who is struggling with a mental health issue is never easy—especially when it’s your child. But with more information and access to practical resources, it is something that we can all get better at. So regardless of the milestones you and your family are celebrating this season, I hope you do it surrounded by the community and support you need.

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