A massive depression opened up during a Week 3 preseason game in Winnipeg, leading to the disappearance of Aaron Rodgers' primary protectors.

In what was once believed to be a brilliant idea to spread the game of football to other countries - and also to avoid paying the Oakland Coliseum more money - the Raiders scheduled a meaningless preseason game against the Green Bay Packers at Investors Group Field in Winnipeg, Manitoba.





The game got off to a rollicking start for the first 15 minutes. An attendance of 200 fans attempted the wave in a stadium built for 33,000. Announcer Kevin Harlan affectionately referred to the effort as a scatter plot of sadness. Then, disaster struck.





A wide crack snaked unnoticed between the feet of tackle Bryan Bulaga. The ground then cratered, eating Bulaga and pricy free agent addition, Billy Turner, whole. The ensuing sinkhole came for center Corey Linsley next. Linsley fell but was able to grasp some of the earth's crust on the side of the gaping opening. He soon found himself slipping.





Left tackle David Bakhtiari rushed to the edge, let down a long mane of hair, and urged his fellow lineman to Rapunzel his way back to safety.





A prepubescent fan, who had evidently wandered onto the field disguised as a water boy in football pads, noticed the players in danger and sprung to action. Guard Lane Taylor saw the young boy coming and set his mind to stop him from getting too close to the hole.





Although Taylor may have proved successful a couple years ago, the child easily bull rushed him. As the boy got away from Taylor and attempted to aid Bakhtiari's rescue effort, Taylor angrily blocked him in the back, creating a chain reaction that sent the water boy, Bakhtiari, and Linsely careening over the edge. Authorities later identified the water boy as the actual Packers punter, JK Scott.





JK Scott, a hero. 2007-2019

Taylor, flooded with guilt, made a salute at the nearby Elgton Jenkins - a nice passing of the torch moment in an otherwise tragic affair - and jumped straight into the abyss.





Commissioner Roger Goodell gathered officials from both teams to examine the sinkhole once it stopped expanding. The league determined it best to continue the game. Crew members repainted lines to stage the remaining three quarters on a 30-yard field, removing kickoffs, endzones, and third downs.





When quarterback Aaron Rodgers remarked that third downs still exist as fourth downs even if you remove them, much like a tall building that jumps from 12 to 14 still has a 13th floor, Goodell suspended him indefinitely and then randomly drug tested a team beat reporter just because.





The game eventually ended in a 75-70 Packers victory. Goodell declared the trip to Winnipeg an unparalleled success in a postgame press conference. He announced a ten-year preseason series to be held at unsuitable fields across all of Canada.