Excuse me, I'm Pakistani, and a while ago I gave my (white) friend a salwar kameez for her birthday. The way she has been wearing it is...disrespectful, to say the least, and it makes me very uncomfortable because she keeps justifying it as "My desi friend gave it to me, I can't be racist." How can I tell her that what she has been doing is not okay?

Tell her outright, you don’t need to hint about racism. Tell her that the way she’s wearing it is not culturally correct or traditional and frankly it’s a little more than rude. She’s even making you look bad by mentioning you every time she wears it incorrectly. If she cares even a little bit she’ll stop. If she doesn’t, it might be time to sit her down and have a very serious talk about what it means to be a liberal racist.

- Nadya

The other side of “it was a gift from my friend!” That doesnt get you out of everything, and if you are tryna get away w/ stuff cuz of that? You are being a bad friend. And prolly racist.

PS- i have felt like “that friend” before where I just do stuff for them or validate them or whatever.

-ZG