Remainer-luvvie Emma Thompson, who in February won a lot of publicity by moving to Venice with her husband in the wake of Brexit, has fled back to Scotland after northern Italy became a no-go zone due to Coronavirus. You can’t outrun a global pandemic, Emma…

A local co-conspirator has informed Guido they spotted Thompson last Tuesday in their Argyll supermarket, where the two have “a cottage, a barn and seven sheep”. Just two weeks after becoming honorary Italian citizens…

Guido can almost understand Emma’s decision, as the media’s advice on running away to second homes has been far from clear. On Saturday, the Daily Mail published the now-deleted article, “Britain’s brilliant boltholes: The best places to revel in splendid isolation, from the lonely Lancashire hills to the Welsh wilderness”, even recommending activities in case rural boredom sets in.

This morning, the Mail labelled those running away, as they advised, to the countryside or the coast to avoid coronavirus, “covidiots”. An even quicker and more embarrassing u-turn than Emma Thompson was capable of…