mehitabel has an adventure featuring lucy mcmichael as mehitabel elena sapora as fluffy's mistress recorded january 30th 2011 ~

at the ensemble studio theatre nyc archy and mehitabel home though the text of this poem is unabridged,

the recorded text may have been altered

back to the city archy

and damn glad of it

there s something about the suburbs

that gets on a town lady s nerves

fat slick tabbies

sitting around those country clubs

and lapping up the cream

of existence

none of that for me

give me the alley archy

me for the mews and the roofs

of the city

an occasional fish head

and liberty is all i ask

freedom and the garbage can

romance archy romance is the word

maybe i do starve sometimes

but wotthehell archy wotthehell

i live my own life

i met a slick looking tom

out at one of these long island

spotless towns

he fell for me hard

he slipped me into the

pantry and just as we had got

the icebox door open and were

about to sample the cream

in comes his mistress

why fluffy she says to this slicker

the idea of you making

friends with a horrid creature like that

and what did fluffy do

stand up for me like a gentleman

make good on all the promises

with which he had lured me

into his house

not he the dirty slob

he pretended he did not know me

he turned upon me and attacked me

to make good with his boss

you mush faced bum i said

and clawed a piece out of his ear

i am a lady archy

always a lady

but an aristocrat will always

resent an insult

the woman picked up a mop and made

for me well well madam i said

it is unfortunate for you that

you have on sheer silk stockings

and i wrote my protest

on her shin it took reinforcements

in the shape of the cook

to rauss me archy and as i went

out the window i said to the fluffy person

you will hear from me later

he had promised me everything archy

that cat had

he had practically abducted me

and the cheap crook threw me down

before his swell friends

no lady loves a scene archy

and i am always the lady no matter

what temporary disadvantes

i may struggle under

to hell with anything unrefined

has always been my motto

violence archy always does something

to my nerves

but an aristocrat must revenge

an insult i owe it to my family

to protect my good name

so i laid for the slob

for two days and nights and finally

i caught the boob in the shrubbery

pretty thing i said

it hurts me worse than it does you

to remove that left eye of yours

but i did it with one sweep of my claws

you call yourself a gentleman do you

i said as i took a strip out of his nose

you will think twice after this before

you offer an insult

to an unprotected young tabby

where is the little love nest you spoke

of i asked him

you go and lie down there i said

and maybe you can incubate another ear

because i am going to take one of

yours off right now

and with those words i made ribbons

out of it you are the guy

i said to him that was going to give

me an easy life sheltered from all

the rough ways of the world

fluffy dear you don t know what the

rough ways of the world are

and i am going to show you

i have got you out here

in the great open spaces

where cats are cats

and i m gonna make you understand

the affections of a lady ain t to be

trifled with by any slicker like you

where is that red ribbon with the

silver bells you promised me

the next time you betray the trust

of an innocent female

reflect on whether she may

carry a wallop little fiddle strings

this is just a mild lesson i am giving

you tonight i said as i took

the fur off his back And you oughta

be glad you didn t make me really

angry my sense of dignity is all that

saves you a lady little sweetness

never loses her poise and i thank god

i am always a lady even if i do

live my own life and with that i

picked him up by what was left of

his neck like a kitten and laid him

on the doormat slumber gently and

sweet dreams fluffy dear i said and

when you get well make it a rule of

your life never to trifle with another

girlish confidence i have been

abducted again and again by a dam

sight better cats than he ever was

or will be

well archy the world is full of ups

and downs but toujours gai is my motto

cheerio my deario



archy