The ‘silent majority’ has to shut up. No seriously, they do. In order to be a silent majority they have to first – wait for it – be silent about something. And the current group that claims this title while planning and touting a “FNC Tax Day Tea Parties” or Tax Day Tea Party, is far from quiet.

“Silent Majority No More”, reads the front page of the Tax Day Tea Party website. Fox News hosts are attending the gatherings around the country. Silent? Majority?

First, they have to be gentle. Stoic. But mainly, hushed. Then they have earned the right to call themselves the brilliant, Nixon coined ‘silent majority‘. He was referring to the people that weren’t protesting. Hint, hint. Yes, a perfect moniker for lovers of all things rhetorical. The phrase implies that if you don’t vocally disagree – you’re by default onboard. Genius.

So, Tax Day Tea Parties are planned for April 15 – tax day. Thousands of protesters (not all in the same place) are going to protest. Something. Obama probably. Government maybe; with politicians that hate government. Mostly Obama.

Their message is clear – they’re sick of not being heard. As one commenter put it on taxdayteaparty.com, “HI- TEA parties across America-A great idea! YES- We can have a voice in the direction of our country.” Yes. Say it. And another, “This administration has made the people that have been paying attention MAD AS HELL AND WE ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT. STAND UP STAND UP STAND UP.” Yes, stand up. You’ve been pushed around by Obama for too long – nearly 80 whole days. You poor long suffering muted people.

Wait, taxes? Are they angry about taxes? And there’s a tea party? Like a revolt? Like the precursor to the Revolutionary War?

The Boston Tea Party was standing up to tyranny after years of neglect. Not standing up to being mad that your candidate didn’t win. The tea was a symbol of the tone deafness and arrogance of King George. Everyone knew Englishmen (which the colonist were) could never live without tea, so British Parliament imposed a huge tax on it. So instead of Liptons being thrown into various bodies of water around this country – the symbolic equivalent would be cutting up your credit cards. Credit card companies are taxing Americans with no representation – but they know that Americans can’t live without them. So where’s that mutiny?

The Founding Fathers weren’t hotheads. They didn’t just ‘get mad’ and usurp a king’s authority. They had real grievances, real ideals, real leaders and a really brutal, bloody struggle. The Fox News Channel Tax Day Tea Parties wasting perfectly good tea to protest government spending is like Jeep Cherokee sponsoring a Trail of Tears 5K. Yeah. Yeesh.

But they’re mad! And they’re ‘teabaggin‘. And the ‘Mainstream Media’ is just ignoring this super important story except for Fox News who’s attached their name to the demonstration. Yeah. A mainstream media news channel part of a huge media conglomerate (whose charm to its loyal followers is that it’s ‘alternative’) is beating the drum for this protest.

Your grassroots movement can’t have corporate media sponsorship.

But heck, if you’re an ear piercing minority calling yourself a ‘silent majority’ what’s a little fact fudging between friends. It’s a little archaic throw back to the Bush Misnomers (titles for things that don’t match what they actually do) – the Clean Sky Initiatives (that aided in pollution) – The Patriot Act (that squashed The Constitution) or my favorite The State of the Union Address (the wedge for the divide was more like it).

Conservatives are either high-profile kvetchers or the silent majority. Not both.

Republicans are either breaking filibuster records or the silent majority. Not both.

You guys are heard. Like Phil Donahue once said to Bill O’Reilly on his show, “Loud doesn’t mean right.” Actually, Phil, these days – it does.

I am a member of the actual current silent majority (all the polls have Obama’s job approval rating hovering over 60 percent, more than who voted for him). I want the stimulus bill to stimulate the economy. I want businesses and markets to be regulated just enough to ban legal pirates but not too much to make them dead in the water. And I hope that it works.

This piece also appears on the Huffington Post.