From NetEase:

@现代快报 [Modern Express]: Excrement Truck Explodes, Passersby Tragically Covered — According to netizen @旺寶兒發, an excrement truck [a vehicle that collects human waste from septic tanks] in Guangxi province Hechi city exploded, and this is probably what the having your face sprayed with shit must be like! The poor pedestrians, going out for a stroll only to be covered in shit… Without any precaution, and without a trace of apprehension, you appeared…

Comments from NetEase:

网易北京市网友 ip：114.245.*.*

The most headstrong sprayer since the beginning of shit. [Note: This comment involves multiple puns. 喷子 “sprayer” also means hater, flamer, a netizen who complains too much or attacks others. It is used here to echo the excrement that was sprayed in the explosion. 有屎以来 is a pun of 有史以来, the latter which means “since the beginning of time”. Taken together, the comment doesn’t really say anything but simply involves puns relevant to the story and to Chinese internet culture.]

呀哑吖呸 [网易广西南宁市网友]：

If someone with mysophobia encountered this, I bet they’d even think of just committing suicide…

mlgb163163163 [网易北京市网友]：

威加海外兮 [网易加拿大网友]：

The moment Sister Feng‘s child is born, it can go to the best public school in the United States for free, without having to send gifts [bribes] or find connections, and the enrollment process only takes 1 minute. Can you people compare?

鱼坐飞船 [网易天津市网友]：

Onto your body, [shit] “freely” flies!!! [Note: Also lyrics from a well-known song.]

鱼坐飞船 [网易天津市网友]：

Upon seeing the words “warmly celebrate” vaguely visible on the storefront signage, brother [referring to self] pissed himself laughing!!

非正常人类 [网易广东省揭阳市手机网友]：

A terrorist attack. No explanation!

网易安徽省合肥市手机网友 ip：124.73.*.*

I will do my best to stifle my laugh.

天涯路远0505 [网易北京市网友]：

A scene of beautiful but sad rain of shit.

你的淫荡 [脑洞全开]：

[Shit] freely flies…