Uber has made its fair share of questionable decisions — from threatening journalists to sabotaging Lyft to launching in cities illegally — but it has yet to go as far as The Onion imagines it could.

Any ride, whenever you want it

In the video above, The Onion does what it does best: takes a plausible occurence about two steps too far and lands on ridiculous comedic gold. The clip's faux newscast introduces Uber's newest high-end car service, Uber Seize, as a luxury option that allows users to stop and hijack nearby vehicles.

An actor playing a senior developer at Uber sounds like he could be the real thing: "Our mission at Uber is to let you take complete control of your transportation." Until he doesn't: "We make sure every one of our drivers can be carjacked at any time, without warning."