Brown envelope-loving Neil Hamilton reckons he’s a “dead cert to be selected” for one of UKIP’s top Westminster targets, a senior UKIP official has told Michael Crick.

The corrupt ex-MP has been eyeing up Boston and Skegness — even before sitting Tory Mark Simmonds quit as the foreign office’s Africa minister yesterday.

On an “extensive” visit to the constituency last month he told the local paper:

“I am making no predictions but if I were him I would spend less time in central Africa and more time in Boston – although far be it from me to give him advice.”

“I know nothing about Mark Simmonds. I think that’s part of the problem. No doubt he’s perfectly worthy but there is no doubt that Boston can do better.

Hamilton’s idea of “better” happens to be someone who became “known” as a byword for corruption and sleaze.

Naturally, he was accompanied on his visit to the Lincolnshire coast by his wife Christine. Some things never change:

Despite the prodigious levels of fruitcake in his diet, Nigel Farage is not keen on the idea — and was party to blocking Hamilton from the UKIP MEP list last year.

Perhaps they could pay him in Harrods vouchers not to stand?