The weird thing about this is that George Lucas' beloved OT was never meant to be seen as a great artistic achievement. Not until our collective nostalgic hive mind decided it had to be, anyway. In all of our fervor and excitement over Episode VII , we've forgotten that ...

If you're a human being, you were probably as excited as we were about Star Wars: The Force Awakens -- or as we call it, Star Wars 4: George Lucas Was Doing His Dishes Thousands Of Miles Away . As fans, we demand that Disney give us the same fuzzy-feeling, space operatic awesomeness of the original trilogy, and less of the brain-numbing, toy-shilling, candy-colored fever dream that was the prequels. Give us art, not a lollipop that forces you to French-kiss Jar Jar Binks .

6 Star Wars Has Always Chosen Children Over Plot

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Almost everyone agrees that booting Lucas from the new movies is a good thing, because the guy who created Star Wars no longer knows what Star Wars is all about. He sold out, man.

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With the prequels, he traded the integrity of the original trilogy for lowest-common-denominator crap that the kidlets would clap their Popsicle-stained mitts for. When the guy in charge says shit like "Jar Jar is the key to all of this," you can sadly conclude that the visionary has lost his vision, like so many other kindly old grandpas.

Except he didn't lose it, because that vision was always "keep children happy above all else."

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Except the ones who got this empty box for Christmas. They can go to hell.

Remember: The first (fourth) film wasn't intended as the opening (middle) of a grand epic. It was simply Not Flash Gordon, Wink Wink, a straight-ahead, good-over-evil standalone sci-fi flick meant to "give kids a sense of values." Lucas couldn't give less of a shit if 40-year-olds considered Yoda a great philosopher of the ages. And speaking of Yoda: He was never supposed to be in Return Of The Jedi. The only reason Lucas wrote him in was because he thought of the goddamn children. He regularly consulted child psychologists, one of whom strongly advised that an outside character confirm to Luke, "Yes, that dickhead who Lannister'd your hand really did sire you. Have fun at the reunion." Why? Because without the thumbs-up from a character they trust, kids under 12 would very likely have dismissed the plot twist as the bad guy being a lying asshole to the good guy.