By David Futrelle

Recently I wrote about one inventive Incel — that is, a so-called “involuntary celibate” — who thought he had the perfect solution to his no-sex problem: Simply allow all incel organ donors to have sex with recently deceased women! After all, he reasoned, “[t]he pussy of females can be used even 2 days after their death,” and dead women can’t say no.

But what if you prefer to have sex with women who can, you know, move around and make noises and perhaps even fetch sticks for you?

Well, let me introduce you to livinginhell101, an incel Redditor with an even more ingenious solution to the “involuntary celibacy” of the world’s worst men: Simply remove women’s brains and replace them with dog brains. Hey presto! Now she’ll want to have sex with you! Apparently.

Let’s let him explain:

I have so many questions for livinginhell101 and anyone else who thinks this is a brilliant idea! Do you really want to kiss a lady with dog breath? Will you have to follow after your special dog-brained lady with a little poop bag every time you take a stroll with her outside? What if she likes rolling in filth or eating her own vomit? What if she hates bath time as much as every dog-brained dog I’ve ever known? What if she rejects you for some hot German Shepherd named Chad?

But of course the real question is: how does a dude who literally just suggested replacing women’s brains with dog brains come to the conclusion that only “males are … capable of love, humanity [and] kindness?”

The general consensus in the Incels subreddit, where this lovely proposal was submitted, is that livinginhell101’s post is hilarious “satire.” But it’s not satire to post an obviously impossible fantasy that you not-so-secretly wish could be true. Jonathan Swift didn’t write his famous “modest proposal” because he actually wanted to eat babies.

But when incels talk about fucking corpses or women with dog brains it’s because they really do want to have sex with women without having to worry about getting their consent first. Coming up with wacky scenarios like these enables them to fantasize about rape endlessly without having to admit that what’s they’re doing.

Just another reminder that incel is poison.

NOTE: This r/incels post was going around Twitter right around the time I had to take my headache break, and was even discussed in the comments here. So apologies if you’ve seen this before. But I sort of felt I needed to post about it anyway, because damn.

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