ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A 24-year-old public relations professional who was discovered unresponsive by coworkers shortly before 9 am has tragically passed away in Royal Betoota Base Hospital this morning.

Annie Nerada, of Betoota Hills, was complaining of dizziness and general lethargy to colleagues due to skipping her morning coffee after running late.

Moments before she sat down, the deceased Scorpio confided in her desk mate and told him that she felt like she was about to die – all because she hadn’t had a coffee.

The boutique agency in Betoota’s fabled Upper East Side where Ms Nerada worked has closed for the day, with CEO Miranda Cornwallis and an emergency services spokesmen speaking to journalists about the tragedy earlier.

“At around 1230 EDST, ambulance crews were called to an address in the Old City District in response to a woman found unresponsive at her desk,” said the spokesman.

“The woman was transported to Royal Betoota Base Hospital in the French Quarter, where she sadly passed away some time ago. Our thoughts are with the family at this time.”

Speaking from the heart, Mrs Cornwallis spoke of a highly dedicated and hard-working Annie, who always knew how to get the best for her clients.

“Annie lived and breathed PR. She was a rare breed of person who actually enjoyed working in this field. She always used to joke about how she’d die if she didn’t have her morning coffee. Sadly prophetic, don’t you think? Her favourite client, Coca-Cola, has sent her family a lifetime supply of Fanta.”

Ms Nerada’s family has asked for donations in lieu of flowers to Annie’s favourite charity, her marginally employed boyfriend, Max.

More to come.