Listen to this basic plot outline

An out of shape, out of work nerd wins a tote backpack in a trivia contest and starts carrying everything he thinks he'll ever need in it. When he sees 3 guys mugging a woman, he decides to step in to stop it. Using items in his tote, he fends off the muggers, but is unable to catch them because he is so overweight. He decides to become a crime fighter and he blackmails his friend, a former 2nd string basketball player in high school, to be his sidekick, and take on the petty crimes in their area, which leads to copycats, other wannabe heroes, and "super" villains.