Popular Hearthstone player Jason “Amaz” Chan is currently hosting a tournament to find the best public relations expert in Hearthstone. The winner will earn a treasured position as Team Archon’s newest PR manager, as the previous one had conceded from life after learning that Amaz and Backspace published an entire 11-minute video shit-talking former employee James “Firebat” Kostesich.

“Most teams prefer acquiring and retaining talent through underhanded methods, like regularly paying employees or not insulting them online,” said Brent “Backspace” Kaskel, whose name represents the key he least uses. “However, we at Team Archon believe that we should hire a new PR manager using our greatest strength: holding tournaments.”

“And by ‘greatest,’ you mean ‘only,’” Amaz reminded him.

Among the invited public relations competitors are Rania, the PR Manager and Head Chef of Kripp Industries™; Sebastian “Forsen” Fors, who manages a popular daycare center; and Dan “Frodan” Chou, whom Amaz has been attempting to thoughtsteal from TempoStorm’s employee deck. Firebat was also invited, but only so Team Archon could use his computer monitor.

“We’re looking for a set of important qualities in our potential PR managers,” said Amaz. “They have to be mature, kind of like how Firebat wasn’t. They have to spread positive news about Team Archon events, kind of like how Firebat’s dog spread chocolate all over the floor. Finally, they have to get us out of shitty situations, kind of like the shitty situation that Firebat’s room smelled like.”

Contestants have already proposed several strategies to help Team Archon’s public image. One PR manager urged that Amaz and Backspace only communicate their feelings using a Hearthstone chat wheel. Another competitor, a former Blizzard marketer, recommended that Team Archon wait for the next Hearthstone update to disseminate amnesiacs among its players.

At the time of writing, Amaz announced that Backspace had won the tournament, despite being eliminated in the first round.





