India, Vietnam, South Africa


WASHINGTON—Confirming recent reports of conditions approaching crisis levels, sources across the globe revealed Thursday that the situation continues to worsen in Venezuela, Bolivia, the United States, Japan, Mexico, Iraq, and Spain, in addition to South Sudan, India, Gabon, Indonesia, Vietnam, and Saudi Arabia. “What we’re seeing is a sustained trend of things continuing to unravel in Niger, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Russia, Tanzania, East Timor, Jamaica, Pakistan, Zimbabwe, Afghanistan, Palestine, and the United Kingdom,” said sources, stressing that the nightmare scenario faced by the people of Nigeria, Algeria, Kuwait, Australia, Turkmenistan, Canada, and South Korea showed no signs of abating in the foreseeable future, and if anything, would continue spinning out of control for the foreseeable future. “Sadly, earlier reports of the situation improving in Ukraine, France, Chad, Albania, Micronesia, South Africa, and Kosovo were premature. In fact, the frightening pattern we’re witnessing suggests that it will further degrade from here on out for Kenya, Guinea-Bissau, Israel, Sweden, Azerbaijan, Lebanon, Bosnia, and Herzegovina, Belarus, Eritrea, Norway, Ecuador, Uzbekistan, Latvia, Palau, Antigua, the Czech Republic, Iran, Swaziland, Brunei, New Zealand, Portugal, Mongolia, Luxembourg, Nauru, Vanuatu, North Korea, Seychelles, Jordan, Sudan, China, Poland, Tonga, Sierra Leone, Togo, Slovenia, the Dominican Republic, Monaco, Madagascar, Egypt, the United Arab Emirates, Costa Rica, Mauritius, Hungary, Cyprus, Benin, Mauritania, the Marshall Islands, Ethiopia, Belgium, Georgia, Singapore, Senegal, Papua New Guinea, Bahrain, Argentina, Uganda, Guatemala, Cambodia, Gambia, Peru, Angola, Switzerland, Oman, Burkina Faso, Denmark, Bulgaria, St. Vincent, the Grenadines, Italy, Romania, Liechtenstein, Yemen, Samoa, Vatican City, Liberia, Comoros, Armenia, the Philippines, the Maldives, Iceland, Belize, Moldova, Fiji, Estonia, Paraguay, the Netherlands, Rwanda, Bangladesh, Mali, Germany, the Solomon Islands, Andorra, Gabon, Barbados, Kazakhstan, Cameroon, Tuvalu, Chile, Laos, Lithuania, Bahamas, Equatorial, Guinea, El Salvador, Ghana, East Timor, Cape Verde, Djibouti, Turkey, Mozambique, Burundi, Cuba, Morocco, Ireland, Namibia, Syria, Slovakia, the Ivory Coast, the Central African Republic, Finland, Nepal, Haiti, Croatia, Honduras, Austria, San Marino, Grenada, Tunisia, Brazil, Montenegro, Qatar, Greece, Thailand, Botswana, Malawi, Suriname, St. Lucia, Nicaragua, Colombia, Uruguay, Macedonia, Trinidad and Tobago, Guyana, Panama, Taiwan, Sao Tome and Principe, Tajikistan, Guinea, Sri Lanka, Malaysia, Bhutan, Myanmar, Kiribati, Libya, Lesotho, Somalia, Kyrgyzstan, Zambia, Serbia, Dominica, and Malta.” At press time, several reports indicated that St. Kitts and Nevis, however, seemed to be doing fine.