Article here. Excerpt:

'Nagging doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s usually the woman doing the nagging and the man feeling nagged. And it happens because of a power imbalance in the relationship: men have more power to blow off what women say to them, in almost every sphere of their lives. I’ve found this especially exaggerated in relationships where one partner stays at home and the other works full time.

I put a stop to the nagging cycle in my own marriage a few years ago, doing it exactly the way Marcotte describes. My husband is a feminist. He cares deeply about gender bias. But he’s still a guy who was raised with male privilege, and it’s not always visible to him when gender dynamics are at the root of a problem.

So I sat him down and made it clear that he could not “help” me with childcare or housework. Parenting the children and caring for our home are shared jobs that we’re equally responsible for. That means that not only is it his job to change half the diapers and fold half the laundry (roughly speaking), it is also his job to know that these things need to be done and take responsibility for doing them.'