With the recent deaths of Prince, David Bowie, Alan Rickman and Doris Roberts, people are beginning to worry that our beloved Jeff Goldblum may be next. But there is hope for him still, as thousands of fans have gathered outside the Jurassic Park star’s Beverly Hills home, forming a human wall and vowing to protect him from death.

“2016 is taking all the greats,” said self-proclaimed #1 Goldblum fan Kimberly Waller, as she linked arms with others outside the actor’s home. “We’re here to protect Jeff by any means necessary. We’re willing to sacrifice ourselves to ensure his survival in a time when no celebrity is safe.”

Mr. Goldblum claims that he had nothing to do with the gathering. “These people just started showing up. I tried calling the cops but they said they were too powerful to break up and were refusing to leave. I’m perfectly healthy and have no enemies, so I don’t know what these people are trying to accomplish here…”

But no matter how many celebrities kick the bucket in 2016, life finds a way.