Warning: This chapter contains the most direct depiction of cocaine use we’ve seen so far (We see it happening in a screenshot.)

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Another long silence fell over the three friends as they sat together in the corner of the coffee shop.

Harper stared down at her cup for a moment, trying to ignore how strange and awkward it felt to sit there in the silence. There used to be a time when she relished in these moments, even going as far as turning off her hearing aid and letting her thoughts wander.

But this silence was different. It was tense and uncomfortable and Harper hated it. She’d only seen her friends a handful of times in the two months since her birthday, and she kept waiting in vain for things to get easier. Still no luck, I guess… She thought sadly as the awful silence dragged on.

Harper raised her mug to her lips and closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the sweet warmth of her coffee and trying her best to ignore all the troubling thoughts that were now swirling around in her mind.

Like how stressful it was being behind on this month’s rent.

Or how awkward it still felt being around Devin.

Or how annoying it was becoming having her father as her boss.

Or how sad she felt that Rylie would be leaving so soon.

Or how badly her leg was itching…

“Hey!”

“What?!” Harper’s eyes snapped open.

“You’re doing it again.” Rylie almost laughed. “Stop scratching!”

“Yeah, it’s still fresh. You don’t wanna fuck it up.” Devin added softly.

She lifted her hand from her leg guiltily. “Sorry… I just didn’t think it’d itch so much.”

Harper glanced down for a moment at her new tattoo — the first of what she hoped would be many. She’d decided to go big for her first one… It was a design she’d had Devin draw for her months ago, before she’d even turned eighteen.

Large, blooming flowers on the front of her leg, and a fish swimming down the back. A koi fish — just like the one on Rylie’s arm, and the scales covering Devin’s. The two of them had always wanted to get tattoos that were similar to one another… And the plan had been for Harper to get one too.

“It’s perfect. We’re all such freaks — three fish out of water!” Rylie used to joke.

Harper had been looking forward to getting the tattoo for so long — a permanent symbol of her bond with her two best friends. And now that she’d finally saved up enough money, she’d done it. And she loved how it came out.

But it did feel a bit strange to still go along with the plan after everything that had happened. The tattoo on her leg was still fresh — but so were the wounds from everything that had happened between her and her friends.

The three of them had been slowly drifting apart from one another ever since Rylie and Devin found out about the cocaine. Maybe even before then… Maybe as far back as New Years Eve. And after what happened on her birthday…

Well, they’d hurt her and Erik so much. And, as much as she hated to admit it, she’d hurt them too. Especially Devin. Harper had a feeling things would never be the same between them again.

Especially now that they were all going their separate ways.

As though on cue, Devin rose to his feet almost the moment the thought crossed Harper’s mind. “I hate to bail… But I should probably start heading home. My parents are driving me up to Falkenburg to check out some apartments today.”

Rylie rolled her eyes. “We know… Shitty timing, Dev. Leaving early on the last day you’ll get to see me for like, forever.” She teased as she rose from her chair as well.

“I know, I know.” Devin smiled softly at her. “But if I don’t figure it out now, I’ll be living in a cardboard box once classes start up. We can’t all rough it like you and Sage…”

“Yeah, pretty sure the hostel life wouldn’t be for you.” His friend replied. “Gotta have an extra-comfy bed for that beauty rest… And a daily shower for those luscious locks.” Rylie winked at him.

“Ha! Smartass…” Devin punched her on the arm before pulling her into a warm hug.

“Love you, Dev.” Rylie had buried her face in her friend’s shoulder, and Harper could barely make out her words. “I promise to text you like, every day.”

“I’ll hold you to it.” He replied, still holding her against his chest. “Stay safe out there, okay? And have fun… But uh, not too much fun.” Devin added teasingly, earning a playful smack on his chest as Rylie finally pulled away from him.

Harper felt so awkward and out of place watching the exchange. It felt like such a special and intimate moment between two friends. Rylie and Devin had been practically inseparable for years before she joined them. She couldn’t help but feel a bit of sadness and jealousy at the sight.

At last, she broke her silence. “Good luck apartment hunting, Dev.”

Rylie and Devin both nearly jumped at the sound of her voice. It was almost like they’d forgotten she was there. They each hastily wiped a few tears from their eyes, clearly embarrassed.

“Thanks.” He muttered in reply. “I’ll text you guys and let you know if I find anything good.” Devin turned his gaze back to Rylie for a moment. “Bye, Ry.” He said gently. “See you later, Harper.”

He gave her an uncomfortable nod and one last wave to Rylie before finally heading out the door.

“You okay?” Harper asked her friend as she finally returned to her seat.

Rylie nodded. “Yeah… That was just a little harder than I thought it’d be.” She admitted. “I think the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing Dev was like, a week. But hey, at least I’ll be back to visit soon!” She suddenly perked up a bit. “Sage already promised mom and dad we’d be back for Christmas.”

“Good. I’m sure it’ll be here before we know it.” She smiled at her friend. Six months was still such a long time to go without seeing each other… But she had a feeling Rylie wouldn’t want to hear that.

There was another few seconds of silence between them then. But with Devin gone, it wasn’t nearly as painful as it had been before.

“So… Before I head home to finish packing…” Rylie began at last. “Can I get all weird and serious for just a second? Kinda make one last request?”

“‘Last request’? Jesus, you make it sound like you’re dying or something!” Harper couldn’t help but laugh.

“God, let’s hope not.” Rylie shook her head in amusement for a moment. “It’s just… Before I go, I really wanna talk to you about something.”

Harper felt her stomach sink at Rylie’s words. Whatever it was couldn’t be good. “Okay, I guess…” She muttered reluctantly.

Rylie took a deep breath. “I just really hate seeing you and Dev like this. I know things are still weird between you guys, and I don’t want everything to fall apart once I’m gone.” She confessed.

Her friend just shrugged. “He’s leaving for uni in like a month and a half. It’ll be hard for things not to change.”

“I know. I know it’s gonna be different. I just mean… You shouldn’t shut him out. You’ve gotta try talking to him. He feels like shit about what happened on your birthday. He knows he shouldn’t have blown up like that. But maybe when things calm down a little you can try –”

Harper cut her off with a look. “Do we really need to talk about this right now?”

“We do. Because I don’t know when I’m gonna have another chance to say it.” Her friend replied seriously. “Devin loves you. I love you. And I know it’s not what you want to hear, but we’re worried about you. And Erik too.” She continued gently. “We know he loves you. But he needs help, Harper.”

She shook her head. “He’s fine. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you guys that. He has it under control.” Harper insisted.

“How the hell can you say that with a straight face?!” Rylie’s voice was suddenly much louder than it had been before. Thankfully the cafe was nearly deserted, and her cry of frustration did not draw much attention. “Look, maybe you’re right. Maybe he has it under control… for now. But it’s only gonna get worse if you don’t get him some help.” A soft sigh passed her lips. “Haven’t you guys talked about like, rehab or something?”

It was all Harper could do not to cringe. She hated that word. And so did Erik. “He doesn’t need it.” She insisted. “And even if he did need it… It’s not like it’s that easy.”

“Of course it isn’t. But that doesn’t change the fact that he needs help.”

Harper shook her head. This was exactly the type of conversation she hated. She and Erik tried to talk about the drugs as little as possible. He went to great lengths to keep his stash out of sight too. And he never ever used in front of her. And Harper was extremely grateful for that. It made it so much easier not to think about it. It helped keep it from feeling real.

“Look, things are getting better, okay? I promise.” Harper hoped she sounded convincing. “Things are going really well for Erik right now. He’s got that summer internship starting next week. He’s still doing some tutoring too. He’s happy. He’s keeping busy. And he’s still cutting back… He’s getting everything under control. He’s fine.”

“And what if things stop being fine?” Rylie asked. “What if all of a sudden things aren’t under control anymore? What happens then? What will you do?”

“It’s not gonna happen.”

“But what if it does?” Rylie’s voice was almost pained.

“Can’t you just drop it?!” Harper cried. She felt like she was going to be sick. “Just stop, okay?!”

For a moment, Rylie said nothing. She simply stared at Harper as though she wanted to say more. But she didn’t. Instead, she slowly rose to her feet, and Harper did the same.

“Guess I have to, huh? I need to go home anyway.” Rylie said softly. “Look, I didn’t wanna piss you off before we said goodbye or anything… But you’ve gotta talk to Dev about this. Or your Oma. Or your parents. Somebody. They’ll help you figure out what to do.”

Harper’s nausea worsened at the mention of her family. “I don’t need to ‘do’ anything.” She insisted weakly. “And… you still won’t tell anybody about this, will you?” She found herself panicking that she hadn’t asked Devin the same.

“I’ve thought about it.” Rylie confessed. “But no, I won’t. I promise.” She paused for a moment. “I have a feeling they’ll figure it out on their own anyway though, one way or another…”

She shook her head nervously. “They won’t.”

For a moment, it looked like Rylie wanted to argue. Instead, she reached her arms out toward her friend. “Come here.”

Harper closed her eyes as Rylie pulled her against her chest. No matter how angry and frustrated she felt, she was really going to miss her. “I’ll be fine.” Harper assured her, forcing a small smile. “And if things really do get bad, I can handle it. Don’t worry about me.”

“You make it really hard not to…” Rylie pulled away from her at last, but kept her hands on the other girl’s shoulders for a moment. “Stay safe, Harper. Please? Erik too.”

“We will.” Harper hoped her smile was convincing. “I promise.”

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And with that, goodbye, teen arc 😮

See you Saturday with the start of the YA years! 🙂