As today is official International David Bowie day (Happy Birthday by the way Sir) we thought we would pick an old wound by re-publishing the great debate between myself and a fool named Adam about which Bowie album is better; Tonight or Never Let Me Down?

We pick up the story from where I have removed references to the Nothing Has Changed compilation…

…I was barely alive when the decade died out, but of a discussion, an argument, a heated, tense debate if you will I used to frequently have with a friend of mine. For the purposes of this article and because it’s his name, we will call this friend Adam.

The source of our disagreement? Which of Bowie’s crap 80’s albums Tonight or Never Let Me Down was better?

Adam and I would sit in conference for hours on end, beers in each hand, ciders in each foot whilst we preached the good word of our chosen side. I championed Never Let Me Down. He, incorrectly, Tonight.

Both of us confessed Bowie fanatics, both confessed armchair politicians (read: douchebags), neither of us claiming that either album ranked among the best. The conversation was more to do with which album had merit to it.

So if you have a few minutes let me show you why Bowie’s Never Let Me Down needs some of your time and why my friend Adam, whom you’ve never met is a stupid-head.

1) Tonight Sucks

The R&B/Disco infused pop of Let’s Dance was a runaway success for Bowie in 83. So he quickly farted out a follow-up with similar musical themes with all the indifference of a man being asked which side of his toast he would like buttered. This fart was Tonight. Blessing the album with his voice alone, the whole project feels like Bowie was chauffeured into the studio, belted the song out in one take, then jumped back in his limo while the engine was still running. The whole project feels unloved, with no cohesive theme. They toss some light reggae in with the hugely bland reworking of Iggy Pop’s ‘Tonight’ and ‘Don’t Look Down’, a theatrical and dull cover of the classic ‘God Only Knows’, the jazzy, ‘Modern Love’-lite ‘Blue Jean’. Plus the other dulled down versions of Iggy Pop tracks ‘Dancing with the Big Boys’ and ‘Neighborhood Threat’. Only ‘Loving the Alien’ stands out of the pack as a truly unique Bowie song with it’s anti-religious themes and gloriously silly production. I’ll give you that one Adam, I’ll give you that.

2) Bowie Plays On It.

Three years after he fell asleep and awoke to realise he’d accidentally made Tonight Bowie decided to go back to his rock band roots with Never Let Me Down. He assembled a core team of musicians to create a band vibe which you can hear on the album. The result being that Never Let Me Down has a musical theme running through it’s core. Frenetic guitars, energetic drum beats, the sound is very much an 80’s vibe of stadium rock. Perhaps at times it feels a little over produced. Some tracks, maybe ’87 and Cry’ and ‘Zeroes’ feel like every instrument in the world has been thrown at them. But the album as a whole feels like a more well loved project. Bowie feels like he actually put some time and effort in creating lyrics and music with an overall vibe.

3) The Most Underrated Songs.

Being considered one of Bowie’s lesser works the album is rich with songs that may have passed you by. Perhaps it’s most well known single ‘Day In Day Out’ follows the ‘Another Day in Paradise’ theme of homeless folk in America. It’s haunting, looped choir chant is met with a funky-ass beat and is entirely danceable whilst still being a “message song”. It evens throws in some Scary Monsters-era sounding guitars. ‘Time Will Crawl’ is still considered by Bowie to be one of his forgotten gems. He even re-recorded back in 2008 with an updated arrangement. It’s one of his classic apocalyptic songs about doom and gloom like ‘Five Years’ or ‘Fantastic Voyage’, but of course it’s an 80’s album so there’s backing singers, a catchy chorus and some tasty guitar licks. The title track is lovely song with song cheerful harmonica thrown in. Written as an ode to his assistant by all accounts which kind of gives the song a slightly threatening tone when asking “Never Let Me Down”. It’s best to look at it as a charming love song about a man who would be lost without the one he loves. The accompanying video even features Eric Roberts, the greatest actor to ever feature in a Best of the Best movie (if you don’t count James Earl Jones). ‘Shining Star (Makin’ My Love)’ is the most wonderfully perky Summer party tune you’ve perhaps never heard. One cannot help but get a little duck walk going and start a Carlton dance. It’s about all manner of fucked up things like Chernobyl, crack dens, dead people on beds, icky things. But it all sounds so cheery. Pop it on your mini-disc player on a summers drive and you’ll be singing along.

4) Let Bowie Be Bowie.

The aforementioned ‘Shining Stars’ dark lyrics are not something that would have turned up on the previous two albums. This was Bowie heading back into Scary Monsters/Diamond Dogs territory. The albums centrepiece ‘Glass Spider’ is an odd a pop song as they come. Arranged like a theatre piece it begins with a spoken word explanation about mythic spiders in the Zi-Duan province of China before launching into a thoroughly 80’s Frankie Goes to Hollywood style beat, with Carlos Alomar’s whaling guitar sounding very Brian May-esque and pantomime vocals. A slow down in tempo with ominous horns sounds not unlike something Kanye West would pull out nowadays. It’s a wonderfully bonkers song that only someone like Bowie could pull off. It’s the song that was also the catalyst for one of the craziest rock tours ever assembled. Depending on your point of the view the ‘Glass Spider Tour’ was either an embarrassingly pompous am-dram performance or a precedent setting stage show which has gone on to shape the way the major pop stars perform to this day; large sets, dancers, set-pieces. He couldn’t even be bothered to tour Tonight, fully aware was he of the puddle of meh that he had created. He even brought Peter Frampton out on tour with him and wore wings to perform ‘Sons of the Silent Age’ for goodness sake. It may be Bowie had his most precious and overblown but it’s Bowie being Bowie.

5) Mickey Rourke Raps On It.

Yes. Yes, drink that in. Mickey Rourke stops into ‘Shining Star (Makin’ My Love)’ for a mid-song rap. Yes. Yes, it’s as terrible as you think it is. Micky Rourke doesn’t really sound like he knows where he is. Maybe Bowie just recorded him talking whilst they were in the bar together. It’s dreadful. But it’s so silly it just makes the song awesome. Where’s Tonight’s random as hell contributor Adam? Tina Turner’s under-mixed warbling in the back of the title track doesn’t count.

So Adam there’s some of the finer points written out in black and white for you to digest. I await your response and scrambling at straws with baited breath. I shall let this song conclude matters for now.

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