0 (6:30) - THE GAME BEGINS.

25 - They're still not fucking doing anything.

34 - THE GAME HAS ACTUALLY STARTED!

35 - Introductions.

Today's Lineup.

HarryGoLucky - Thorin? He's been at this for three months. Likes crushing stones, doesn't like pushing pens. Has a cat that doesn't like fish. Feeds it worms and dirt.

Also, he watched his dad die.

Shady - Shadius Beavertown. His dad was an elf. Mum human. A nobleman who was kept locked in his room by guards. He's here for the money.

DynamiteShovel - Bard in this for the money too. Has gambling debts that he's running from. Plans to gamble more in the future.

Xeaon/ZZ-Top - Warlock that killed someone and is now on the run. He worships an old god that gives him powers. Was distracted by his voice, so I didn't catch what powers. I'll assume it's the ability to talk Barry White.

Vilhjalmir - Wants to get rid of all evil. Isn't a fan of ZZ-Top.

41 - There's a 'really super cool wagon' on the road. The Party investigate it and finds out it's theirs. Contains mining supplies and food. Ale, Pork, Lanterns, Picks. 100 gold pieces worth of things.

43 - The Party round a corner and see something that makes them go 'oh my god'. There's two dead horses on the ground with black arrows in them.

47 - They get into formation, move up to investigate the horses!

48 - WHAT A MOVE! The Goblin Archers hidden in the trees get off to an immediate advantage, and they manage to catch the party by complete surprise!

Xeaon and DynamiteShovel get peppered by arrows. Xeaon cartwheels out of the way, mesmerising Shovel, who then gets smashed by the arrows.

56 - Beavertown (Said like BeaverTin, not BeaverTown) fires off a shot, aiming for one of the Archers. He manages to hit the ground three inches in front of his feet. He then moves forward, trips up and then rolls down a hill.

58 - Harry throws a javelin. It missed. Poorly.

59 - WHAT A FUCKING STRIKE! Sacred flame has been fired off by Vilhjalmir. HE HITS, dealing 0 damage.

61 - BIG CHANCE! Barry White blasts the Goblins with an Eldritch Blast, and he actually deals damage.

64 - GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! DynamiteShovel gets his revenge and takes down a Goblin with a bolt from his crossbow!

65 - A Goblin fires off an arrow, aiming for Xeaon. He fucked up, sending an arrow off into the distance.

In the background, several Goblin Swordsmen attempt to slash at the midgets, but swipe above their heads.

68 - Beavs makes a great move and gets behind a bush. He then fires off a wild shot, but misses his target again.

70 - KILL OF THE SEASON! Harry swings his battleaxe at one of the Goblins and cleaves it in half!

72 - Xeaon tries to attack, but it's a bad miss.

73 - Another Goblin gets smashed, but he manages to hold on.

74 - Shovel has the bloodlust and he goes after another Goblin. Doesn't kill, but the arrow fucks up its leg.

77 - Goblin targets Xeaon and manages to land a glancing blow.

79 - Beavs is up, and now it's time to redeem himself. HE'S ONLY GONE AND FUCKING DONE IT!

Beavs 1 - 0 Goblins

Beaves 0 - 1 Arrows

81 - Harry's up again! Javelin is back up! He winds up! HE THROWS!! It doesn't even stick in the ground. Fuck sake.

83 - GOOOOOOOOOOOAL! Xeaon unleashes another blast of electricity, hitting the final Goblin.

86 - The Party take a rest, healing up the damage that they've taken.

87 - Beavs takes a toe from the Goblins, as he plans to make a necklace for his father.

88 - The horses belonged to the man who hired the party. The saddlebags have been looted, and there's an empty map case around. Beavs takes it.

90 - The Party take the wagon back to its original spot, trying to hide it.

91 - Perception checks a-plenty, and they notice that there's some tracks in the ground, along with non-goblin blood and some teeth.

93 - They investigate the blood multiple times and discover that it is blood. It tracks north.

(I went and grabbed something to eat here, so I missed a few minutes of things)

113 - Harry is throwing twigs in traps, setting off snares.

116 - They continue on their way and a pit opens under their feet. They manage to avoid falling.

118 - Beavs isn't fucking having that. He tries to push Harry into the pit. He fails.

118 - Harry isn't fucking having that. He tries to push Beavs into the pit. He succeeds, launching Beavs against the pit wall.

119 - Beavs dislodges a stone and finds a saddlebag, which searches, finding 30 sticks and a note, which he reads.

"Test Batch. Do Not Use! Property of SkullScar the Enchanter!"

121 - The party debate investigating the sticks, trying to check if they're magical. The WARLOCK is passed over as the Bard examines them. He fails and then passes them to the Warlock who succeeds his check.

They were wands given to Rockseeker. Enchanted to do damage to their intended target, they also have random side effects.

Beavs plans to flog the wands that fell off the back of a wagon.

124 - They pull Beavs out of the pit.

126 - They manage to arrive at a hideout.

As the sides go in for Half Time, the Party have managed to show up, taking the game to the Goblins. At this point, they're more of a danger to themselves.

135 - The teams march back out.

136 - Beavs runs a perception check and finds an area that he can't pass through. There's a stream to move through, but there's a lookout post in the unpassable area with several dice playing Goblin.

138 - Beavs throws one of his wands towards the Goblins. Barry White's voice echoes in the Goblin's head convincing it that playing with said wand is a good idea.

141 - No mere mortal can resist that voice, so the Goblin fucks with the wand and tries to attack a friend. All axes within a 60 foot radius turn into glass.

142 - Barry White's voice continues to carry the party, as it commands another Goblin to fire an arrow at his friend. He misses, but his mate goes fucking nuts and draws his sword.

143 - GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!! Beavertown slaughters one of the Goblins with the utmost ease, as the party decide to be the ambushers.

145 - GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAL!!! The Warhammer swings... The warhammer fucking crushes a Goblin into the dirt. What a hit, son! What a hit!

149 - Hidden in the darkness ahead lies a stream, but with several DarkVision users, everything is revealed. There's a chain of caves.

151 - Beavertown begins to sneak into the caves, and as he walks in, he spots three large and hungry Wolves. They pick up his scent.

152 - Turns out the Wolves are chained up, but they remain aggressive.

154 - They try to calm the Wolves down a little, which they pull off so well that the Wolves got even more annoyed.

158 - The party chop up a goblin and try to feed their new wolven friends, who are about to tear shit up. They decide to eat instead though.

161 - The Party scan ahead, and spot a Goblin keeping watch on the area from up above the stream.

164 - Beavs combines arrow with rope to create rope arrow. He then fires rope arrow at the Goblin, intending to drag him to his untimely death. He pulls with all his might and only manages to slightly unbalance it.

168 - The Goblin tries to take some shots, but fails miserably.

169 - Beavertown continues to move like a fucking cat as he sneaks down under the goblin he shot and tries to pull it down once again. He's pish at this, but a merciful god intervenes and pushes the Goblin down.

171 - The man whose job it was to get shot by arrows got shot by an arrow and announces that he was shot by an arrow. We reached out to his fellow Goblins in an attempt to discover their reaction to this, but they declined to comment.