My earliest memory is of a dream I had, aged five. We lived in a little north London flat and I shared a room with my sister. There was a picture of Peter Rabbit on the wall, and I dreamed about him sitting on a big poo. It was quite sexual, although it only happened once, honest.

London in 1959 was austere, but my childhood was enriched by Scotland. We had family there – my grandmother, and her four naughty sisters. They all had red hair, and would do things like wee out of train windows. Each had lost a fiancé in the First World War, and their generation fascinated me.

I was quite keen on Jesus and toyed with Christianity in my teens. I went to Bible classes with the vicar who lived next door, and I remember saying: “My uncle is a homosexual, would he be allowed into heaven?” The vicar paused, and at that moment I knew I was done with religion.

Hollywood is definitely changing. #MeToo has been a wonderful moment of clarity. When I was a young woman, older men in the industry would constantly try it on. I was always able to say no, and they took that for an answer. What younger women have to encounter terrifies me.

I talked about my mental health before it was common to do so. At university my boyfriend’s father passed away, and my uncle died 24 hours later. I was depressed, and didn’t know it. I might have identified it in myself had it been more widely discussed. Now at least we’re talking about it, although very little of use is really being done.

Dieting screwed up my metabolism, and it messed with my head. I’ve fought with that multimillion-pound industry all my life, but I wish I’d had more knowledge before I started swallowing their crap. I regret ever going on one.

I’ve developed a tendency to over-tidy. My family shriek when I walk in the door. “Don’t touch that!” or “Leave it there!” they yell, knowing once their backs are turned I’ll clear it up or throw it away.

Marriages die, but then they are reborn. I’ve learned not to worry when it seems a relationship is falling apart: it will come back together, if you put your mind to it. The relationship I have with my husband today is completely different to the one we had when we met. That’s what is so fascinating about love.

The natural world is my home, so I’ve broken injunctions with Greenpeace – climbing and crossing things – when it has been necessary. We might live in houses, but the Earth is ours, and we are shitting in every single drawer of it.

Death doesn’t scare me. I’d like to be remembered by friends and family, but I don’t care what anyone else thinks. Legacy seems a blokey thing. And yet… I’d like a big, fuck-off bronze statue of Nanny McPhee in Trafalgar Square. She is wisdom personified, the part I’ve most loved playing. Yes, actually, I’ll have that.

Emma Thompson is currently starring in The Children Act, in cinemas nationwide