holy shift.

For those of you who have been following me for any amount of time (BTW - THANK YOU!!!) and based on the number of questions I get on the daily about what I’ve been up to lately, it’s safe to say that a good number of you have noticed some changes going down on my end. So I figured I’d let you all in on what’s been going on in the world of Alix, and clear some things up.



Right this very moment, I’m going through a major shift which I can best describe as a process that entails becoming a different, albeit better version of myself and life as a whole. This really started a few months ago, and while I’m unable to pinpoint the exact turning point, it’s one of those aspects of life that I can best explain as this: When you know it’s time to make a change, and that you’re ready to embark on a new journey, you just know.

So, to start. I’ve been doing adult film since 2014, which was something that I truly wanted and had made the decision to do for myself and myself only. And let me tell you something. When you decide to leave your cushy “normal” job only to drop everything, pack up your life in boxes and relocate across the country to pretty much restart your entire life, it’s absolutely terrifying. Not to mention, the vast majority of your friends and family think you’re insane and making a mistake, and will take a whole lot of time out of their lives to tell you this.

But when you just know deep down what it is that you want, and that you will never feel fulfilled unless you at least give it a chance, it’s far easier to take a leap of faith and dive headfirst into the pool of uncertainty, fear and “WTF am I doing?!” instead of listening to loved ones who have your best interests in mind that are telling you to play it safe. And that’s exactly what I did.

When I say that making this decision was by far the best of my life, I mean it. It was the first time in my entire life that I had done something solely for myself - not because other people wanted me to and not because I felt like I should.

Leaving everything I knew for the first time in my life behind, only to start anew as a blank slate, was indeed terrifying. But with the extreme amounts of scariness that come with venturing far away from your family and friends to start your own life also comes with equal parts of excitement, empowerment and “Holy shit I can’t believe I did _______ all by myself!”

As I often say, the greater the risk involved, the greater the potential for reward. I can honestly say that after 4 years (which is but a blip in time when you think of the grand scheme of life) I have grown in more ways than I ever would have imagined.

Because when you work for yourself, no matter what kind of career path you may choose, it is single-handedly the most rigorous, intensive course you will ever take on personal development. Why? Because when you truly get to know yourself; Your strengths, weaknesses, flaws, what makes you tick, how to make yourself happy - it translates into all aspects of life. Aspects like business, hobbies, relationships, friendships, etc.

When you make it your mission to become the best version of yourself and re-commit to doing so every single day, you’re going to be able to show up as that person for every single part of your life and give it your all. The whole process is uncomfortable, messy and emotional, but it’s simultaneously the most fulfilling journey you will ever take.

And in accepting the fact that you and you alone are the only person who is fully in charge of the way your life turns out, having this level of extreme self-awareness also means that when that little voice inside you tells you that you want more out of life, you’re doing yourself (and the rest of the world) a disservice by dismissing it, pretending it’s not there and trying to keep it quiet. Even if you’re able to do all of the above, you know deep down that it’s truly impossible to fool yourself. Because regardless of how quiet that little voice is, it’s still there. And in fact, it will never shut up.

I had that little voice chirping away in me in 2014, right before I decided to take the plunge and restart my life out here in California.

And now it’s back.

Only this time around, the conditions are a bit less extreme. I’m far less afraid and far more excited compared to when I went through this whole ordeal previously. Because this time around, I know exactly what I’m capable of. And this time around, I’m also quick to recognize when it’s time to make changes. Without change, there is no growth. Without change, there is complacency. And complacency is just not something I do.

That being said, I’m not quitting porn. Yet. It’s something that I truly enjoy - I have an absolute blast sharing an intimate side of myself with the world, infusing sexuality and art together and spending time with my big crazy porno family that I’ve accumulated over the years.

I have however decided to put the brakes on shooting for companies, and am now exclusively shooting for my own website, as well as my OnlyFans page (which I prefer as it’s a one-stop shop for all the scenes I’ve shot over the years, and I can talk to my members directly which is SO FUCKING COOL). Anyways.

I made this decision because having full creative control over what I put out in the world, no matter what it is I’m doing, is so important to me. It’s the most fulfilling, gives me the most control over my own time, and for me, it’s the most fun. So to answer the question I’ve been receiving daily - no, I have not yet retired. I will absolutely be sharing when I do decide to. And, when I do, rest assured nothing I have ever made will be gone. That’s the beauty of the internet. With it comes immortality :)

Giving myself the most control over my own time also means I now have as much time as I want to dedicate myself to a completely different path - music production.

Back to square one: If you’ve been following me for any amount of time, you probably know that I’m a raver for life. Similar to adult entertainment, the electronic music community is also one that is subjected to many a misconception on the daily. When I say I’m a raver for life, it doesn’t mean that all I do is wear neon and go eat molly every weekend. It means that I’m a proud member of a community that encourages and embraces freedom of self-expression, and welcomes with open arms, people from all races, genders, ethnicities, shape, size, whatever. It means that diversity and inclusiveness are two key components of this community, along with its core values: Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect, which are among the values that I live my own life by. It means that it cultivates a love for life, and encourages people to spread love and kindness, not hate.

I don’t know about you, but for me, this is all pretty fucking awesome.

Being introduced to this community in 2010 was monumental for me, even more so than adult entertainment. It was like a brand new world unfolded in front of me - one in which I learned far more about what’s important in life and exactly how much of a positive impact music can have on people, including myself. It instilled a brand-new set of values that I could live my life by. It instilled in me a sense of acceptance and appreciation of diversity on a brand-new level. My deep-seated love for this community is one that will never, ever die.

That’s why, a few years ago, I decided that I, too, wanted to be able to give back to the community (family) that I’ve been a part of for so long, the same exact immersive experience that I would want to have as someone who’s been in the audience at countless shows, events and festivals.

And thus, Fancy Monster was born: my alter ego that I, along with my brother, have been working hard at cultivating over the past few years. It may seem to be coming out of nowhere, but that’s because I’m the type of person who would rather spend time working hard in silence under the radar instead of talking about how I’m going to do XYZ.

To clear up a few other questions I’ve been receiving on the regular: Yes, it’s just us. We do not use ghost producers. We both grew up playing musical instruments for 10+ years each and have spent the past few years hunkering down in front of our computer screens figuring out the pieces to this puzzle. We’re a two person show. Just because I chose to show only a few sides of me at a time doesn’t mean the rest never existed. It just means that I’ve finally grown into myself enough as a person to be comfortable and confident, not to mention a now burning desire to not only create and play music, but to make each and every piece we put out into the world an entire experience.

To me, that’s art.

To me, that’s where I’ve been finding more fulfillment than ever before.

To me, that’s what life is all about.

To say I’m over the moon excited about this new journey is an understatement.

I live, sleep, eat and breathe music. To me, without music, there’s no life. Period.

It’s challenging, it’s stressful, it’s scary…but to me, what’s scarier is choosing to ignore that little voice that’s always proven itself to be right. What’s scarier is making the conscious decision to ignore that little voice and spend the rest of my life wondering “What if?!”

This is also why the production on my YouTube channel has slowed down, and why I sometimes may seem like I’m not as “around” as I used to be.

I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m one person and can have a certain amount of energy in me on the daily that I have to choose where I dedicate that to.

So not to worry, friends. I will NEVER just drop off the face of the earth, never to be seen again. My life is here, in front of the camera. In front of an audience. Creating something from nothing to share with the world, and hopefully inspire others to tap into their own intuition and do the same. That’s just who I am, whether I like it or not. It’s my duty as a citizen of this planet to honor that.

I truly appreciate each and every single one of you. While it’s physically impossible to respond to every single email, message and comment I receive, please know that I do see them and I am beyond grateful for you all.

much love

al