READY OR NOT

Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World

By Madeline Levine

We are living, for anyone who’s been hiding in a cave (without Wi-Fi), in an age of uncertainty and anxiety, courtesy of incidents both real — melting planet, rampant shootings, polarization — and manufactured by a clickbait-fueled, 24-hour news cycle and pervasive social media. The San Francisco author and psychologist Madeline Levine understands this anxiety. Having practiced in Marin County for more than 25 years, she’s worked to tackle the increasing mental health problems of the affluent. Her 2006 cri de coeur and advice book, “The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids,” was a best seller, as was her 2012 follow-up, “Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or ‘Fat Envelopes.’”

Now comes “Ready or Not: Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World,” in which Levine continues her basic theme — that the way the wealthy raise their kids today is destructive — while turning the lens outward: In our fast-changing world, the epidemic anxiety of contemporary parents, especially mothers, causes them to both shelter and overmanage their children, which leads those children toward depression and likely failure in a future that will require different skills, preparations and even morals from those of the past.

Anxiety, Levine tells us, is now the No. 1 mental health disorder for both kids and adults — and parents’ urge to soothe our own stress can push us to shield our kids from the mistakes and failures that would teach them to conquer their fears. We create “accumulated disability” in our children — “impairment of life skills and the ability to cope, adapt and function” — which is especially damaging in today’s “volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous” world. “If we know anything about the next 20 or 30 years,” Levine writes, “we know that essential skills will include self-sufficiency, equanimity in the face of change and enthusiasm for challenge.” Precisely what neurotic parenting stifles.