LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

Old Betoota Hotel was nearly thrown into chaos last night, as pool player and resilient fedora wearer George Silvestrini (34) was mistaken for a suave 1940s mafioso.

It is believed the 34-year-old public servant’s skill on the pool table, choice of headwear and drink of choice (Negroni) sent a strong message to everyone in the bar that this was a man who demands respect.

“We were halfway through a game but when he came in and placed 20 cents on the table. We noped the fuck out. Just not worth it man.”

Although usually a strictly bar service venue, manager Bernie Sanderson immediately greeted Silvestrini and his alleged ‘Goodfellas’ with a handshake before sincerely asking them what they would be drinking.

“You have to show respect immediately. You never know what they can do to a small business owner like me.”

With a tip of his fedora, Silvestrini suggested he and his ‘crew’ would need many drinks the quench their thirst after a vicious battle for territory, which it has now been revealed probably took place during a game of Dungeons and Dragons.

When asked if anything else would make him more comfortable Silvestrini asked if they could ‘put on some jazz.’

“That’s when I knew he meant trouble.”

From there, Silvestrini and his company played pool and drank $789 worth of alcohol, which Sanderson refused to charge them for as a sign of respect.

“Small price to pay to have the mob on your side if you ask me.”

So strong was Silvestrini charisma that a review of the security footage reveals most patrons did not realise he was wearing a metal charm necklace and a Dragon Ball Z t-shirt beneath a Jay Jays blazer.

We reached out to Silvestrini for a statement and received the following reply:

“Mafioso huh? I always thought of myself as more of a Shogun.”

MORE TO COME.