Steven Seagal famously has a unique physiological reaction to arousal, collects ornate saddles, drives tanks, sings reggae, trains psychotic vigilantes, collaborates with the CIA (allegedly), and works tirelessly to promote immortality, so perhaps it’s no wonder than he can keep track of neither space nor time. Point being, there’s never a dull moment in the life of Steven Seagal, and today is no different, as none other than Russia’s Deputy Prime Minister has suggested publicly that Steven Seagal could become the “face of Russia’s arms industry.”

Dude, have you seen Steven Seagal’s face?

Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin said action movie star Seagal could lead an international marketing campaign for the Degtarev arms plant, according to the Associated Press, citing Russian news agencies. Rogozin accompanied the actor on a visit to the plant Tuesday. “You’re ready to fight American [manufacturers] with your teeth and your intellect, and if Americans are prepared to promote and support you, that says we’re learning new ways to work on corporate warfare markets,” the AP quoted Rogozin as saying. [LA Times]

Boy, I hope something was lost in translation there, because that’s one of the most confusing and convoluted public statements I’ve heard outside North Korean propaganda. So… Steven Seagal is going to “fight” American manufacturers with his “teeth and intellect?” Those are two of the last things I’d expect Steve Seagal to fight with. If Steven Seagal is fighting nowadays, I’d expect the weapons to include aikido, a bulletproof kimono, and half a meatball parm.

“Alright, punk, let’s settle this once and for all. I’ll meet you yesterday, high noon, Beijing.”

[pics via HuffPo]