As rumour-mills buzzed with news of Bollywood’s hotshot director Karan Johar inviting Gujarat Chief Minister Narendra Modi on his hugely popular talk show, Koffee with Karan, news television channel NDTV’s popular anchor Nidhi Razdan wasted no time in pulling him in for an exclusive interview.

Nidhi is seen gesturing at one of the studio spotboys. “Oye, increase the picture size! Make it largest!” she urges. Seconds later, the cameraman shouts, “Rolling” prompting Nidhi to turn to the camera with her game face on.

Nidhi: Good evening to all our viewers. There are plenty of rumours about Bollywood director Karan Johar inviting controversial Gujarat Chief Minister Narendra Modi to his talk show, Koffee with Karan. Mr.Modi has always courted controversy in all walks of his life, starting from the 2002 Gujarat riots, where hundreds of people were killed, which made him a huge center of controversy, one that has always haunted him till date. The riots aside, Modi is also considered to be a highly communal and a deeply polarizing figure. His detractors allege that he is fascist, dictatorial, indifferent towards the minorities, and…

At this point, Nidhi is interrupted by a yawn from K. Jo, who has been waiting for quite a while now.

Nidhi: Oh! I’m sorry, Karan…are you there?

Karan: Yes, darling! Good evening!

Nidhi: Good evening, Karan! Thank you for appearing on NDTV. Now…

Karan (runs an appraising eye over Nidhi): Let me start off by saying how stunning you’re looking tonight, Nidhi…

Nidhi: Er… thanks…

Karan (cocks his head to one side and smiles slyly): So what is going on between you and a certain cutie from Kashmir?

Nidhi (looks shocked, before recovering): Let’s focus on the bigger picture here. (Karan looks slightly disappointed) Now Karan, there are a lot of rumours that you are going to invite the highly controversial Chief Minister of Gujarat, Narendra Modi to your show, Koffee with Karan…is that true?

Karan: Haha, I’m not sure, yaa. I will obviously start the new season with Shah Rukh… but after that, I haven’t really decided, darling…

Nidhi: But Karan, you are aware that Mr. Modi is a highly controversial person in India and around the world, and carries the huge burden of the 2002 Gujarat riots on him, something he is yet to express regret for. He has been shrouded in this for more than a decade now and…

Karan: Awww, that’s so sad!

Nidhi: Karan, Modi is considered by many across the nation as someone who isn’t secular. And as someone who made a movie on the exact same thing, with a cult dialogue, “My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist,” would you consider it right to invite him to your show?

Karan (wistfully): My name is Khan! It was such fun shooting it, yaa! Those were the days! I miss shooting with Shah Rukh!

Nidhi: You haven’t answered my question, Karan!

Karan (giggles): Sorry, darling, what was it?

Nidhi (beginning to show signs of frustration): Never mind, I’ve got many more points to make… I mean… many more questions to ask. Karan, now Modi is a highly polarizing figure, is it because you’ve made a film with a polarizing title yourself, namely “Kabhi khushi kabhi gham,” that you’re considering inviting him to your show?

Karan: Awww, come on, K3G was awesome, darling! Every single person loved Shah Rukh and Hrithik in them…they were both sooo handsome!

Nidhi (stares at Karan Johar in exasperation): Time for a short break. After we come back, we’ll once again take up the question of whether it is right for Mr. Karan Johar to invite man accused of butchering millions… I mean… thousands of people in the 2002 riots.

The discussion goes off the record.

Nidhi: Karan, the discussion is not going according to….

Nidhi’s cell phone rings and she picks it up.

Nidhi: Hi, Vasu…

Voice at other end: Not even one ‘major blow to Modi’ line. What the heck? Manish Tewari has been pinging “still waiting”

Nidhi: I know, yaa. I’ll steer the discussion in the right direction as soon as we resume. Don’t worry.

Nidhi disconnects and turns to Karan.

Nidhi: Karan, you need to focus on the big picture here: commitment to liberalism, India’s multicultural and colorful diversity…

Karan: Speaking of colour, love your new beige coloured sari, yaa. Muah! It goes well with your bobcut tomboy look.

Taken aback once again, Nidhi is still formulating a response when the cameraman shouts “Rolling” and Nidhi snaps to news anchor mode.

Nidhi (takes a deep breath): Let me put it this way, Karan. Is there any politician other than controversial Modi whom you would consider inviting to your show?

Karan: I love Rahul Gandhi darling, he’s so cute! Especially with those dimples!

Nidhi: Phew! Thank you so much for joining us, Karan! You win a free coffee hamper from NDTV! (turns to camera) And there it is! Bollywood’s most famous director says he’d invite Rahul Gandhi over controversial Narendra Modi. This is a major blow to…