When Ariana Grande released her first single from “Dangerous Woman,” I knew that the wait for her album was going to ruin me. I listened to “Dangerous Woman” every day until she released other singles like “Be Alright,” “Into You” and “Let Me Love You.” I love every single that she’s released from the album so far, and I am nervous to listen to the rest, but I must. I have been analyzing every tweet and Instagram post for clues on what to expect, but I don’t want to ruin the surprise of playing the album in my car and having that first listen alone.

Ariana’s 10 Days to Dangerous Countdown on Instagram and Apple Music has driven me insane because I do not have an Apple Music account. All I have been able to listen to are the 15-25 second previews that she has given us on her Instagram. I almost started an account just to listen to these singles, but I didn’t. I. AM. DESPERATE!!!! But I will be okay, I have to be.

So here I am on the eve of Ariana Grande’s release of “Dangerous Woman” trying to keep my chill, but I don’t know what to do with myself. It has been released on Apple Music and Spotify, but I want to wait until tomorrow to listen to it. Even though I technically have access to it, I don’t have the physical copy. Digital versions of songs do not music justice. AT ALL! So before I have my first listen tomorrow, I need to appreciate its momentum before I dive in.

The main reason that I have related to this album since it’s original promotion is for its title, “Dangerous Woman.” Although some might think this is just another case of Ariana growing up or thinking she’s sexy, I think it is all about being your authentic self. The title is an anthem of confidence, freedom and success. As I am exploring my identity and what I am passionate for, I find that this album to be like a memoir of own. I feel like a dangerous woman because I am not afraid to accept my feelings and express them. I understand that my characteristics are not mild and that I should never underestimate myself or anyone. I have accepted my honest potential and am ready to live the live I decide to have. I It took me a long time to learn what it was to be gay, feminine and masculine. And now that I know what all those things are, all I have to say is fuck these labels.

I have lived under the shadows of my family and friends for too long, and this record may help me continue my endeavors. I have waiting patiently (yeah right) for this album and will stream it soon. I will deliver my first track-by-track review here next week after I have learned all the lyrics to every song and have fully digested what it means to be a dangerous woman. I hope you are all as excited as I am, even if for different reasons. Thanks, Ariana!