NEW YORK—Saying she has still not grown accustomed to the irritating habit despite being married to the Brooklyn Nets power forward for a decade, Brandi Garnett revealed to reporters that she was once again kept up the whole night Thursday by her husband talking trash in his sleep. “I must have woken up four different times from Kevin tossing and turning in bed while calling someone a little bitch who can’t fucking score on him,” said Garnett, adding that although she tries her best to simply tune out the unconscious trash talking, it generally occurs multiple times per night and can continue for 30 or 40 minutes on end. “At one point I actually thought something was wrong, but then I saw his eyes were shut and he was snoring in between reflexively pounding his chest and mumbling God knows what about an opposing player’s wife. The worst was when he screamed ‘Get that shit out of here!’ at the top of his lungs around four in the morning—I’m honestly surprised he didn’t wake himself up.” Garnett went on to explain that her husband never has any recollection the next day of having talked trash in his sleep, though he often seamlessly continues cursing out Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah as soon as he wakes up.

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