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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Breaking - Mueller report to be released on Thursday | Washington braces | Trump rips Pelosi for defending Omar | Pelosi speaks to Capitol Police about Omar's safety | What to watch on Tax Day | Trump to tout tax law in Minnesota | Trump campaign to report $30M in fundraising | Lori Loughlin pleads not guilty in admissions scam | Secret Shake Shack menu in Valyrian

JUST ANNOUNCED

Everyone in Washington -- take your battle positions:

Special counsel Robert Mueller Robert (Bob) MuellerCNN's Toobin warns McCabe is in 'perilous condition' with emboldened Trump CNN anchor rips Trump over Stone while evoking Clinton-Lynch tarmac meeting The Hill's 12:30 Report: New Hampshire fallout MORE's highly anticipated Russia investigation report will be made public on Thursday morning (!), according to an official at the Department of Justice. http://bit.ly/2PePIv5

NY TIMES CLAIMS TRUMP REVIVED ATTACKS ON SANCTUARY CITIES TO DISTRACT FROM THE REPORT:

http://bit.ly/2Gniff4

HOW THE TRUMP TEAM PLANS TO READ THE REPORT:

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Via The New York Times's Annie Karni and Maggie Haberman, White House aides plan to skip sections in the report relating to potential criminal conspiracy and only focus on the section addressing why the special counsel was unable to prove that Trump obstructed justice. https://nyti.ms/2V3POLm

WHEN TO EXPECT THE REPORT TO BE RELEASED:

Last Tuesday, Attorney General William Barr Bill BarrHarris faces pivotal moment with Supreme Court battle Hillicon Valley: DOJ proposes tech liability shield reform to Congress | Treasury sanctions individuals, groups tied to Russian malign influence activities | House Republican introduces bill to set standards for self-driving cars McCarthy threatens motion to oust Pelosi if she moves forward with impeachment MORE told Congress that the Mueller report would be public "within a week." That was six days ago. https://nyti.ms/2XglydY

Interesting read -- 'The Insiders' Guide to the Mueller Report':

Via Politico's Darren Samuelsohn, here's how experts on both sides are gearing up to speed read the Mueller report: https://politi.co/2Grdbqp

What the Mueller report is expected to look like: "[Attorney General William Barr] last week told Congress that the document will be color-coded to explain why lawyers for Mueller and DOJ have redacted some of the most sensitive material. But he promised that, for all the gaps, the report won't end up looking totally like Swiss cheese."

It's Monday -- and it's Tax Day. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

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NEWS THIS MORNING

Aunt Becky is fighting the new charges:

Via ABC's Bill Hutchinson and Aaron Katersky, actress Lori Loughlin and her husband, fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli, are planning to plead not guilty to charges from the nationwide college entrance scam. http://bit.ly/2Os88s5

The new charge against the couple: Conspiracy to commit money laundering.

Timing of the new charge: The new charge against Loughlin and Giannulli came one day after actress Felicity Huffman and 13 other defendants pleaded guilty to the cheating scandal.

TAX DAY

What's the refund situation?:

Via The Hill's Naomi Jagoda, this is the first tax-filing season since President Trump Donald John TrumpBiden on Trump's refusal to commit to peaceful transfer of power: 'What country are we in?' Romney: 'Unthinkable and unacceptable' to not commit to peaceful transition of power Two Louisville police officers shot amid Breonna Taylor grand jury protests MORE's 2017 tax law, making this year one of the most closely watched tax days. http://bit.ly/2UZbLLB

FIVE THINGS TO WATCH:

Refund sizes -- Earlier in the year, IRS data showed a decline in tax refunds, but agency figures have been revised and now show similar sized refunds. Number of extensions requested -- Some tax preparers are saying more clients are requesting extensions, but there isn't much data to confirm that yet. How the IRS fared -- The government shutdown at the beginning of the year does not seem to have affected processing returns. GOP, Democratic messaging -- Republicans are expected to tout the new law while Democrats argue it is better for wealthy individuals. Filing season's influence on public opinion -- Polling for Trump's tax law has not been favorable to Republicans.

Context and details for each: http://bit.ly/2UZbLLB

This morning -- how Hillary Clinton Hillary Diane Rodham ClintonDemocratic groups using Bloomberg money to launch M in Spanish language ads in Florida The Hill's Campaign Report: Presidential polls tighten weeks out from Election Day More than 50 Latino faith leaders endorse Biden MORE is celebrating Tax Day:

Hillary Clinton used Tax Day to take a jab against Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin Steven Terner MnuchinHillicon Valley: DOJ proposes tech liability shield reform to Congress | Treasury sanctions individuals, groups tied to Russian malign influence activities | House Republican introduces bill to set standards for self-driving cars Treasury: Trump's payroll tax deferral won't hurt Social Security Treasury sanctions individuals, groups tied to Russian malign influence activities MORE and IRS Commissioner Charles Rettig. http://bit.ly/2IjWsHt

She tweeted: "Millions of Americans will put tax checks in the mail today. Meanwhile, the secretary of the treasury and head of the IRS continue to refuse to turn over Trump's tax returns to Congress for reasons even they can't clearly articulate. #TaxDay."

LATEST WITH THE OMAR CONTROVERSY

Safety precautions for Omar:

Over the weekend, Speaker Nancy Pelosi Nancy PelosiHoyer: House should vote on COVID-19 aid — with or without a bipartisan deal Ruth Bader Ginsburg lies in repose at Supreme Court McCarthy threatens motion to oust Pelosi if she moves forward with impeachment MORE (D-Calif.) said she spoke with the sergeant-at-arms of the House to ensure the safety of Rep. Ilhan Omar Ilhan OmarOmar fires back at Trump over rally remarks: 'This is my country' Trump attacks Omar for criticizing US: 'How did you do where you came from?' Democrats scramble on COVID-19 relief amid division, Trump surprise MORE (D-Minn.) after President Trump tweeted a video targeting the congresswoman. http://bit.ly/2Dh7ysA

Pelosi said in a statement: "Following the President's tweet, I spoke with the Sergeant-at-Arms to ensure that Capitol Police are conducting a security assessment to safeguard Congresswoman Omar, her family and her staff. They will continue to monitor and address the threats she faces." She also called on Trump to take down the video.

The video that Trump tweeted: "Trump on Friday tweeted a video including images of Sept. 11 and comments Omar made regarding the attack and the safety of Muslims in its aftermath. The video featured footage of the burning World Trade Center and was denounced by many Democrats as Islamophobic and as endangering Omar's life. "

What sparked this news cycle: Omar spoke at the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) last month and said that CAIR was founded because "some people did something" and Muslims "were starting to lose access to our civil liberties." That started a firestorm with critics saying she was downplaying the 9/11 attacks. Omar has said she has received death threats over the controversy.

THIS MORNING-- REACTION FROM TRUMP:

The president tweeted, "Before Nancy, who has lost all control of Congress and is getting nothing done, decides to defend her leader, Rep. Omar, she should look at the anti-Semitic, anti-Israel and ungrateful U.S. HATE statements Omar has made. She is out of control, except for her control of Nancy!" http://bit.ly/2UCJpro

REACTION FROM A TRUMP ADVISER:

Marc Lotter said on CNN's "New Day: "I don't think it's the president that's putting her in danger, I think it's her ill-thought-out words that she used to describe the greatest terror attack on the history of United States soil, which killed nearly 3,000 Americans." http://bit.ly/2UgnPUw

IN CAMPAIGN NEWS

Muscle contest:

Via The Associated Press's Zeke Miller, President Trump's 2020 reelection campaign raised more than $30 million in the first quarter of 2019. His campaign now has $40.8 million cash on hand. http://bit.ly/2KDgU86

That number doesn't mean much on its own -- some context:

The average donation: "The Trump campaign said nearly 99% of its donations were of $200 or less, with an average donation of $34.26." http://bit.ly/2KDgU86

Compared to Obama's 2012 reelection campaign: Former President Obama had under $2 million at this point in his 2012 reelection campaign. Yeah, but: "Trump formally launched his reelection effort just hours after taking office in 2017, earlier than any incumbent has in prior years. By contrast, former President Barack Obama Barack Hussein ObamaThe Memo: Trump's strengths complicate election picture Obama shares phone number to find out how Americans are planning to vote Democrats' troubling adventure in a 'Wonderland' without 'rule of law' MORE launched his 2012 effort in April 2011."

2020 Dem rivals: Sen. Bernie Sanders Bernie SandersOutrage erupts over Breonna Taylor grand jury ruling Dimon: Wealth tax 'almost impossible to do' Grand jury charges no officers in Breonna Taylor death MORE (I-Vt.) has raised the most in the 2020 Democratic field, bringing in $18.2 million. Sen. Kamala Harris Kamala HarrisHarris faces pivotal moment with Supreme Court battle Nearly 40 Democratic senators call for climate change questions in debates Joe Biden has long forgotten North Carolina: Today's visit is too late MORE (D-Calif.) has raised $12 million, and former Rep. Beto O'Rourke Beto O'RourkeJimmy Carter says his son smoked pot with Willie Nelson on White House roof O'Rourke endorses Kennedy for Senate: 'A champion for the values we're most proud of' 2020 Democrats do convention Zoom call MORE (D-Texas) raised $9.4 million.

^ I.e.: Trump has raised more than the top two Democratic candidates combined.

Here's an updated list of candidates' fundraising totals: http://bit.ly/2Ujrjp6

A story to keep your eye one:

Via The Hill's Jonathan Easley, "Pete Buttigieg Pete ButtigiegThe Hill's Morning Report - Sponsored by Facebook - GOP closes ranks to fill SCOTUS vacancy by November Buttigieg stands in as Pence for Harris's debate practice Hillicon Valley: FBI, DHS warn that foreign hackers will likely spread disinformation around election results | Social media platforms put muscle into National Voter Registration Day | Trump to meet with Republican state officials on tech liability shield MORE's meteoric rise as a presidential candidate is putting a spotlight on his years as mayor of South Bend, Ind., including his demotion of an African-American police chief." http://bit.ly/2IB9iQX

Why this is timely: "An Indiana judge will rule soon on whether to release five cassette tapes of secretly recorded conversations between South Bend police officers that led to the 2012 demotion of Police Chief Darryl Boykins, the city's first ever black police chief."

NOTABLE TWEETS

Just now — that was quite the finish at the Boston Marathon:

#BREAKING: Lawrence Cherono wins the men's Boston Marathon in a sprint. WHAT A FINISH! pic.twitter.com/uI1J6GjEC2 — WBZ | CBS Boston News (@wbz) April 15, 2019

Watch: http://bit.ly/2ZmyLDQ

ON TAP

The House and Senate are out this week. President Trump is visiting Burnsville, Minn. this afternoon and Vice President Pence has no public events on his schedule.

11 a.m. EDT: President Trump left Washington, D.C., for Minneapolis.

1:55 p.m. EDT: President Trump arrives at Nuss Truck and Equipment in Burnsville, Minn.

6:10 p.m. EDT: President Trump gets back to the White House.

WHAT TO WATCH

2 p.m. EDT: President Trump holds a roundtable discussion on the economy and tax reform in Burnsville, Minn. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2Pelybl

5:30 p.m. EDT: Former Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen Janet Louise YellenFed formally adopts new approach to balance inflation, unemployment Federal Reserve chief to outline plans for inflation, economy The Hill's Morning Report - Presented by Facebook - First lady casts Trump as fighter for the 'forgotten' MORE speaks at Georgetown University. Details: http://bit.ly/2IDMqAa Livestream: http://bit.ly/2PaaUSY

6 p.m. EDT: Presidential candidate Andrew Yang Andrew YangDoctor who allegedly assaulted Evelyn Yang arrested on federal charges The Hill's Campaign Report: Biden weighs in on police shootings | Who's moderating the debates | Trump trails in post-convention polls Buttigieg launches his own podcast MORE holds a campaign rally at the Lincoln Memorial. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2PaLJQ7

8 p.m. EDT: Presidential candidate Julián Castro speaks to the Asian and Latino Coalition in Des Moines, Iowa. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2Pafm4i

9 p.m. EDT: Presidential candidate Pete Buttijieg appears on MSNBC with Rachel Maddow.

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Glazed Spiral Ham Day.

We're not regular parents. We're ~cool~ parents:

Three adult eagles -- two males and one female -- are raising eaglets together in one nest. https://wapo.st/2Iu5l0x

The setup: "What might make this all-American family different is that both males are copulating with the mom, whereas earlier examples of a second dad may have been live-in nanny situations, with no role in the reproduction itself, Audubon reports."

Details and photos: https://wapo.st/2Iu5l0x

If you're nosey like me: Here's a livestream of the three birds. Watch: http://bit.ly/2VKzdcD

Is it too much trouble to ask for a livestream of Shake Shack's ordering counter?:

A Shake Shack in New York City has a special menu for fans of HBO's "Game of Thrones." The catch: Customers must order the special menu in Valyrian, the working language created for the show. https://r29.co/2DiqyHf

Photo of the menu items with Valyrian pronunciations: http://bit.ly/2UX9OQ2

And because you made it this far, here's a puppy whose bark sounds more like a seagull to me: http://bit.ly/2IixJn7