Apple Corp has decided to avoid spending its cash reserves on paying back taxes, and has chosen to buy the EU instead. ‘It’ll mean Europe being controlled by an unelected, faceless organisation that answers to no man,’ said Tim Cook, CEO, ‘so nothing new there then.’ On the face of it the deal seems expensive, but Apple insists all its employees use Apple products, so the revenues from replacing millions of EU government PCs will offset the difference between the unpaid taxes and the total value of the EU, a “‘wenty Euro shortfall at most’ by Tim Cook’s estimation.

Critics claim the purchase is unnecessarily expensive, and Apple could have achieved the same results just by buying Ireland, however Cook points out, ‘been there, done that already.’