Furry culture has fascinated me since I first encountered it several years ago. How could you not be intrigued by the idea of people putting on animal costumes to have sex?

I know what you’re thinking: Those people must be freaks. Anytime I tell someone about my interest, the response is almost always, “What’s wrong with them?”

I can’t blame you. A perusal of Google supports the idea that furries—people who are interested in human-like animals or creatures, and sometimes dress up in costumes accordingly—are somehow psychologically messed up or sexually deviant.

The few opposing opinions floating around the blogosphere come from furries themselves. As an academic, I was surprised to find that no one had studied the phenomenon.

So last year I trekked to Furnal Equinox, the largest furry convention in Canada, with more than 900 furries in attendance.

As I entered the convention center, I was surrounded by fursuits of every color and animal hybrid imaginable: foxes, dogs, wolves, and lions, to name a few. If you think it’s hard to approach a potential mate at a bar, just imagine going up to a 7-foot-tall dragon at a furry convention.

But these weren’t sex-crazed perverts. Once I worked up the nerve to speak with them, they were all friendly and welcoming, offering hugs and agreeing to have their photo taken. They were mostly young, either teenaged or in their early 20s, male, and identifying as gay or transgender. And they all happily obliged my request to chat about the furry fandom, which is what they call their community.

At one point, I entered a room where a group was playing a card game. One furry showed me his hand and explained the rules so I could follow along. None of the other furries playing seemed to mind me spontaneously joining their game. I can’t think of another time when a group of strangers was so inclusive.

As I was leaving the convention that evening, I saw a male furry kneel down so that a little girl could kiss him on the snout. I realized that he was the girl’s loving father. It’s not exactly the scene that comes to mind when most people picture a furry convention.

Being a furry has more to do with community than it does with sex. Furries don’t feel like they fit into mainstream culture, so the fandom provides a place for them to bond over comic books, science fiction, art, and video games. Several of them told me that one of the draws of a furry convention is that it’s a nonjudgmental venue to share interests.

Sex is just one part of their lives, as it is for you. One furry told me he puts his fursuit on because it’s a part of his identity, and sex is just something he does while wearing it.

Most furries, however, said they don’t knock boots in fursuits. This is for a number of reasons: The suits get very hot, have poor ventilation, are heavy and uncomfortable, and cost thousands of dollars. As fun as sex is, would you risk it in a $2,000 custom suit?

And because you’re likely wondering, there was no public sex at the convention.

In hindsight, let’s be real: I went to the furry convention with a can of mace in my handbag. I had no idea what to expect, but wanted to be prepared just in case my safety was in jeopardy.

Instead, I was completely taken aback by the kindness I encountered. In the cab ride home that night, I texted my friends that I wished every weekend was a furry convention.

We could all learn something from my new friends. How many of you have interests—including in the bedroom—that you’ve been too afraid to explore?

Embracing your own sexual quirks and kinks can have major benefits. For example, experimenting with BSDM can encourage couples to communicate better, be more creative, and heighten your sexual satisfaction. (Don’t wait: Have Kinkier Sex Tonight with These Tips.)

Bondage isn’t the only way to expand your sex life, though. It could be as simple as trying one of these 45 Hot Sex Positions. Standing Dragon, anyone?

Debra W. Soh is a Ph.D. candidate in psychology specializing in sexual neuroscience at York University.

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