dis gonna b good

I’m sure this article was kept from the pages of Today’s Parent by height supremacists or some shit. But never fear, Tumblr is here with practical advice for raising your kids and/or parenting tips that your parenting friends are certain to appreciate!

All that falderal about nutrition being a factor in physical growth just the height-supremacist medical community oppressing short people!

Also measuring your children’s height against a door is really bad I know this because my parents measured my height against the door once and i died true story

“Not all sons are going to be as tall as their fathers and this causes psychological trauma to those that aren’t when they are told this all their life”

GATHER ROUND, CHILDREN, AND GAZE UPON THE STRUGGLE

BUT GAZE NOT TOO LONG, FOR WHEN YOU GAZE INTO THE STRUGGLE, THE STRUGGLE GAZES BACK.

My heightism-denying ways had me thinking that point 5 was a matter of not being a fuckwit with your money.

Also you might think that number six is funny but I’ll have you know that such casual heightism gets thousands of hobbits killed a year and leads to their reduced economic oppurtunities.

If I weren’t as conscious of the horrific social injustices caused by heightism I’d think that you were comparing being short with being black and/or gay in an attempt to make up for the fact that you’re whiny-mad about having a hard time getting dates.

Damn Disney and those oppressive, height-shaming mothers!

thnk you now let us all pledge to end this brutal oppression now and forever