Just think of them as the secret weapons -- or handicaps -- of soldiers around the world: booze, weed, ecstasy, heroin and a handful of other illicit pills, plants and elixirs. Because whether top brass want to admit it or not, the storied history of global warfare would be way less interesting without them. From some boozy bonding in the barracks or a few uppers to stay alert on an aerial mission, to scoring psychedelics that pass a urine test or experimenting with rave drugs to alleviate trauma, controlled substances are, for better or for worse, surprisingly ubiquitous in military circles. So whatever your vice of choice, light it, pop it or drink it, and then indulge in a little war -- on drugs. Troops on Tap That mask is a good idea in more ways than one. Not only is this troop enjoying some of the most extreme funneling we've ever seen, but he's also concealing his identity from military brass cracking down on alcohol consumption among enlistees. Troops in Iraq and Afghanistan are subject to General Order 1, which forbids the holy trifecta of booze, gambling and pornography. After all, alcohol and firearms don't exactly mix. Alcohol and protective masks, on the other hand, seem like a perfect combination. Photo: Out of Regs

Heroin's Hazardous History These endless fields of delicate flowers might offer a scenic respite from war's stresses, but for centuries, American soldiers have known that ingesting them tends to do a better job -- at least in the short-term. During the Civil War, it's been reported that as many as 50,000 troops became all-out opium addicts when doctors doled out the drugs like candy to relieve pain. More than 100 years later, most American troops steer clear of Afghanistan's ample opium supply -- but VA doctors are still bracing themselves for an uptick in addiction treatment when soldiers ship out. Photo: U.S. Marines

'Go Pills' for Non-Stop Airtime As if being an Air Force pilot wasn't bad-ass enough, these elite aerial aces are also sanctioned to pop "Go Pills" -- Modafonil, a drug designed to treat narcolepsy, is the latest favorite -- to keep their focus. Of course, the entire practice sounds sexier than it is: Being stuffed inside a cockpit for 12 hours at a time is bad enough, without being hyper-alert the entire time. Not to mention that the pills are notoriously addictive and often need to be counteracted with sleeping meds. Dexadrine, the Air Force's former standby drug, was even blamed for one particularly ugly fatal fire incident in Afghanistan. Video: Magnolia Pictures

Every Soldier's Favorite Sanctioned Psychedelic The bad news about Salvia, a psychoactive plant that produces a short, intense high, is that most military bases have in recent years cracked down on its use among soldiers. The good news? The stuff can't be detected in standard military urine tests. So it isn't exactly sanctioned by the Pentagon, but Salvia retailers still make a special effort to appeal to their military clientele. One soldier spotted this G.I. Jain variety at a store near Fort Hood. "It is such a trip to walk into a head stand and see a half-dozen high-and-tights sitting around," he wrote. Photo: Warondrugs.com

Cigarettes: A Soldier's Best Friend Apple pie and vanilla ice cream. Fireworks and the Fourth of July. Cigarettes and combat. Some of America's favorite pairings are so right, they could never be wrong. Except, that is, when top brass get all up on the health train. Pentagon leaders have already launched comprehensive anti-smoking campaigns, restricted where soldiers can smoke and even toyed with all-out bans. Lame? Yes. Effective? Maybe: Last year, cigarettes were for the first time outranked in sales at military commissaries. By yet another beloved American vice: cheddar cheese. Photo: U.S. Air Force

An Army of (Prescription) Addicts Despite all the illicit substances that surround soldiers, it's arguably the meds prescribed by the military's own doctors that have done the most damage in this decade's wars. The use of psychiatric medications by troops and their spouses soared 42 percent between 2005 and 2009, while anti-anxiety pill prescription rose a startling 72 percent. And thousands of soldiers are sanctioned to pop a cocktail of pills, despite deathly serious side effects: Accidental fatalities due to multi-drug usage has nearly tripled since 2001. Photo: U.S. Navy SEALS Blog

The CIA's Top-Secret LSD Studies LSD might have been legal until 1966, but the CIA's use of it during their MK-ULTRA experiments certainly wasn't. From 1953 until the late-1960s, hundreds of military personnel, CIA employees, prisoners and even civilians were administered doses of the high-powered hallucinogen to see if it worked as a truth serum. Often, in what would assuredly guarantee a really bad trip, participants didn't even know what they were taking. Of course, the days of freaky, ethically vacuous drug tests are behind us. But the military is still on the prowl for substances that might subdue or overwhelm enemy minds.

Khat Makes a Combat Comeback Kidnapped by angry, irate pirates yielding weapons? That romantic Horn of Africa cruise was probably a bad idea, given that pirate hijackings have soared in recent years -- and many of the violent vandals are hopped up on khat, a chewable plant with effects similar to amphetamines. Last year, the EU's Navfor even released a pamphlet guide to life as a pirate kidnap victim. Their top tip? Just say no: You might enjoy “temporary relief," but Somali pirates won't be too amenable (Say ahoy to an ass-kicking) to “the negative effects of withdrawal symptoms and increased tension due to cravings." Photo: Dave Bouti

Afghans Take A Blunt Hit in Combat By all accounts, plenty of Afghan locals enjoy the odd spliff. We're all for that, but for American soldiers trying to triple the size of the country's local military, the habit has made for some rather dazed and confused educational efforts. The country, which is the number one global purveyor of marijuana, likely offered American troops more than one unexpected challenge -- trying to train local soldiers who were getting stoned 24/7, and, we would imagine, trying to resist the urge to do the same. Video: We Smoke Weed TV

Party Drugs Meet PTSD Researchers are still searching for the pill that's a magic bullet PTSD treatment. But one husband and wife team are convinced they've already found it: A tab or two of X and eight hours rolling on a comfortable couch. Michael Milthoefer and his wife Anne, are midway through their second study that uses the club drug ecstasy -- glow-stick not included -- to help counsel traumatized veterans through their flashbacks. Their first study, from 2004 to 2008, boasted results more successful than any of the Pentagon's recent efforts, which have included PTSD-prevention pills and cocktails of anti-psychotics Photo: Glenn Slaughter