A Play in One Act

Character List

Kieran: Male, around 20 or 21 years of age. Dressed in a loose fitting flannel, old jeans, and sneakers. From the midwest, probably Ohio or Western PA.

Bobby: A little older than Kieran, maybe 23. Dressed wearing a t-shirt, shorts and rayban sunglasses. He always has a pack of cigarettes on his person. From the PNW.

Luc: Same age as Kieran. Dressed in a t-shirt, khakis, and a casual Borsalino fedora pushed back on his head. He is from Algiers, Louisiana.

Setting

The stage is set upon a rooftop in Brooklyn. The audience can see the other neighborhood rooftops stretching out beyond the horizon, on the backdrop of the stage. Lighting should make it appear to be a late summer afternoon that slowly darkens into early evening.

(The curtain opens to see Kieran sitting center stage with a bottle of wine in his hand. There are no chairs on the roof, so he is stationed on a steel vent cover and looking out towards the audience. The eaves of the building face out towards the audience as well, and there is a jutting slab of concrete that creating a barrier between the flat of the roof and the street below standing between, it is only a foot and a half, or so, tall. The concrete barricade runs along stage left and stage right creating about a 20 foot surface on which the play takes place. Upstage from where Bobby sits, so that the audience can see it, is an open hatch through which people enter and exit the stage. A ladder is set underneath the stage which the actors use to climb through the hatch. Other parts of a typical apartment building roof can also be set upon the stage at the director’s discretion.)

Kieran: Sometimes, a bottle of wine and that warm summer air are all you need. (He takes a swig and then lets go of a big breath) Much better….

(Bobby’s voice is heard emanating from beneath the stage): When are they all coming? Ah, well fuck it, I’m going up to the roof. Oh piss off, the landlord doesn’t give a shit.

(We hear Bobby clanging up the ladder, cursing under his breath, until he arrives on stage.)

Bobby: Shit man, that ladder never gets any easier to climb. Every time I do it, I’m sure it’ll the one where I finally break my goddamn neck.

Kieran: It’s worth it though, yeah?

Bobby: I guess so, I don’t know, I just like a place where I can smoke and drink in peace. (Pulls out his cigarettes and begins to smoke.)

Kieran: You see those clouds out there over the bridge?

Bobby: Yeah, like, past the chrysler building?

Kieran: Yeah, I think a storm’s coming. It would be crazy to see it from here.

Bobby: No storm is coming, man.

Kieran: You don’t think so?

Bobby: Man anytime someone tells you a storm is going to come, it never does. Weathermen, soothsayers, you (he points at Kieran) none of you know what the fuck you’re talking about, and you sure as hell can’t read the clouds. Only God can do that.

Kieran: I didn’t take you for religious.

Bobby: That’s because I’m not, but you gotta hope that someone is in charge somewhere, right? (points his pack of cigarettes in Kieran’s direction) You want one? (moves toward Kieran and sits on the ground stage left of him)

Kieran: Yeah, I’ll take one.

Bobby: Of course you will.

Kieran: Why did you say it like that?

Bobby: Like what?

Kieran: With that bullshit tone, like you think I’m a bum or something.

Bobby: I wouldn’t call you a bum. You’re not a bum, but you do like bums some smokes when you drink, and only when you drink. Never any other time.

Kieran: So?

Bobby: So I think it’s pretty fuckin’ lame to do that. Every man should be a man of commitments. You should smoke or not smoke, but to just reside listlessly in this non-committal middle ground says a lot about you.

Kieran: Okay, so I won’t smoke it then. (K attempts to hand the cigarette back to Bobby)

Bobby: No, no, no, now that’s even worse. Now you just seem like a push-over. All I had to do was say one unkind thing to you, and you try to appease me. Come on, man. Have a spine.

Kieran: You’re confusing. It’s just a cigarette, and I don’t want it anymore. I’ll throw it off the roof if I have to.

Bobby: How am I, in anyway, confusing? All I ask, is that you be a man, stand up for your commitments, or fucking don’t, but don’t reverse course at the first sign of trouble.

Kieran: Whatever bro, it was just a cigarette, and so what? I smoke when I’m drunk. You only have sex with girls when they’re drunk, and that’s way worse, by any measure.

Bobby: Whoa, low blow man, you know that’s not true. (laughing)

Kieran: Ah shit, you’re right you never get laid. Who am I kidding? Drunk or no, there’s no love in the world for you my man.

Bobby: Alllllllrighhht superstar, I forgot, you always pull women. I am a humble squire to your lordship. A student at the feet of his master. Please! Oh Please! Won’t you teach me the ways of the force Obi Wan? I know I saw you chatting up Allison the other night. I didn’t want to say anything but… (takes a long pull on his cigarette) I didn’t actually see that go anywhere. Maybe, I missed it?

Kieran: You know me and Cara have been dating for like, what, three years? So what are you even getting at? Are you trying to shame me or something? I don’t have to justify my actions to you. Everyone, including Cara, knows that I just talk to girls for fun, but I never try to take them home or anything. Even though sometimes Cara and I…

Bobby: (interrupting) Oh my dear God.

Kieran: What?

Bobby: I must be the stupidest man this side of the Mississippi.

Kieran: No arguments here.

Bobby: HA! Very funny, but I can’t believe I’m allowing you to bring up your girlfriend, again. I guess I’m just an optimist, because I’m sure this time it won’t just be a long winded and completely useless speech about modern love or whatever it is that you like to meditate upon when this gets started...

Kieran: Hey man, relax, you don’t even know what I was going to…

Bobby: (interrupting) Oh I know what you were going to say, please trust me on that. You were going to say because (imitating Kieran’s voice) sometimes Cara and I just need some space. I have known her longer than you have probably known anyone, and sometimes I just need to fucking blah blah blah… Your bullshit drives me nuts.

Kieran: What do you mean my bullshit? How is our relationship your business?

Bobby: That’s exactly fucking right. It’s not my Goddamn business, but you sure make it a point to always tell me all about it. You won’t talk to her about it, but you bitch all day long to the rest of us. And then, to top it all off, you decide to go out at night and chat it up with every girl you come across, and then justify with all this nonsense about how talking to other girls doesn’t really mean anything. That you just (pantomiming air quotes around need space) need space, to express yourself or whatever.

Kieran: I haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t cheat on her. So why are you freaking out?

Bobby: Because man, its just like you, to let her hang around and around, even though it’s clear to my blind, deaf dog that you’re not happy with her. That’s fine and all, but it’s pretty lame that you won’t actually have that discussion with her. It doesn’t matter that you’re not cheating on her, because you’re not being honest with her on a fundamental level. The problem with cheating is that it means that you were deceived or misled, and that’s what you’re doing right now. Because you won’t stand up and tell her what you want, whether that’s her or not. You just let shit in your life happen, and when it blows up you walk away and wipe your hands of it. Expecting the rest of us to feel sympathy for you.

Kieran: Look, I really didn’t ask you for your opinion on this, and for someone who claimed that they didn’t want to talk about it, you sure have a lot of opinions on my relationship. If you want to know the truth, sometimes I do wonder if she and I are right for each other, but it’s not as easy to handle as just sitting her down and laying it all out like that to her face. I care about her. Don’t look at me like that, that’s absolutely fucking true. But you wouldn’t really know about that though, would you? You’ve never been with anyone, nor do you want to be. You just want to be selfish, and you want to live in a world where whatever Bobby wants to do he does it. No worries no questions, and then you get to sit back and preach to other people about how to live their lives. Not everyone wants to be alone, man.

Bobby: Yes yes you’ve captured my life…. (interrupting him is the sound of another person climbing the ladder)

Luc: (voice) What? No they’re up here…. I don’t know… Chill out. I’m just seeing what they’re doing. (Luc enters through the open hatch) What’s up fellas?

Kieran: Hey Luc, (getting up from his seat) I’m gonna go get some more wine. (Exits down through the hatch slamming the top closed behind him.

Luc: What was that all about?

Bobby: Well we were talking about Cara and.. Well one thing lead to another…

Luc: Oh man, (puts his hands to his face and groans) Not that shit again.

Bobby: I know. Seriously, that dude never shuts up about his personal drama.

Luc: No, I’m talking about both of you. You two just sit up on this roof and bullshit, and that’s fine in its own way, but I’m telling you that you have to understand your boundaries sometimes.

Bobby: What do you mean, boundaries? He brought it up, and now he’s whining because I’m right, and he knows it. He’s got nothing to say other than to attack my character. And that’s just not RIGHT. (stands up and raises his arm to emphasize his point)

Luc: Whatever, that may be true, or it might now, but sometimes you go too far. And you push people too much. Just take your fucking foot off the pedal a bit for once.

Bobby: Alright. I’ll relax on it. I’m sure he’ll be fine. This is our little dance. Once he gets more wine in his system he always gets happier. (Bobby takes a slug of the wine already on stage and hands it Luc who drinks as well, and they continue to pass the bottle back and forth between them.)

Luc: Holy shit.,you see those clouds over there? Some crazy thunderstorm coming this way, man. I love thunderstorms. Reminds me of home.

Bobby: Yeah, me and Kieran were talking about them earlier, and I’m telling you, no storm is coming. That shit is going to rumble and scream, like something wild is going to happen, but it’ll just stay over there. Shouting at us.

Luc: Well, actually, I hope you’re right. I’m not trying to be up here if that big mean looking sonofabitch comes our way. I’d rather watch them under some cover.

Bobby: Don’t even worry about it. Nothing’s going to happen. (we hear Kieran returning up the ladder)

Kieran: (Voice laughing) alright! I’ll let him know… I promise. (Kieran returns through the hatch) Luc! You have yourself one charming lady! But, she did tell me to give you a fair warning that you should go back downstairs soon.

Luc: (laughing) Well you know she needs my tender love and care.

Kieran: Offffff course she does. Well, well, what are you two fuckers talking about?

Bobby: About your bitch-ass, duh.

Luc: Bobby, you’re a fool.

Bobby: A fool who keeps you all entertained.

Luc: Fine line between entertainment and torture, I think.

Bobby: I don’t torture you, my love. I wouldn’t dream of it.

Luc: Right, right, but naw Kieran we were just hangin’. Checking out the clouds.

Kieran: And drinkinggg my wineeee, I see!

Bobby: That’s the most important part.

Luc: It’s the oil in the engine. But we’re almost out.

Kieran: Well don’t worry, I have plenty more adult beverages for ya!

Bobby: Terrific news. You always come through for us at some point...

Kieran: (laughing) You’re an asshole. Sometimes I wonder why we are friends.

Bobby: Because then who else would tell you when you’re being an idiot? Luc’s not going to do it, he’s got that southern gentleman in him. It’s a real character flaw, but he’s alright in spite of it.

Luc: I appreciate that.

Kieran: Well, Bobby, you’re not doing a very good job of setting me straight, because you still think I’m an idiot.

Bobby: Well I didn’t say I could change the forces of nature, but at least you’re aware of the fact that you’re an idiot. (Bowing) You’re welcome.

Luc: (Laughing) I guess he has a point Kieran. They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

Kieran: Oh, now you’re in on this too? You guys can see yourselves off my roof any time you please. I just wanted to come up here and drink away the vagaries of my fucking job. Not be belittled even further.

Bobby: You always seem to forget that it’s our job. (Circles his fingers to indicate himself and Kieran)

Kieran: I know. I know. Our job. But my point stands, because whoever’s job it is, it’s the worst goddamn job ever.

Luc: I think that might be overstating it, just a bit.

Kieran: Overstating it? How? Calling people all damn day, just for them to hang up on you or tell you what a piece of shit you are. If you don’t need to drink after that, then more power to you.

Bobby: It’s not really all day, we just work after school, Kieran. It’s not like we slave in a goddamn coal mine, or something.

Kieran: It feels like all day to me. If I had to work that job just two more hours a day, I’d off myself. Between the people on the phone, and the people who are our “bosses”, I can’t stand the lot of ‘em.

Luc: Is it really that bad?

Kieran: Yah, it most certainly is. Even Bobby can’t disagree with me on this one.

Bobby: That’s why I always get drunk before work.

Luc: You do?

Bobby: No, but I wish I could. (pulls out another cigarette and begins smoking. While kieran sticks his hand out for another one)

Kieran: (laughing) I’m just saying, I want to quit this fuckin’ job blow outta that joint, ya know/

Luc: Why don’t you go then? Nothing there is keeping you.

Kieran: Why don’t you just quit that restaurant you work at? You must hate it there.

Luc: I wouldn’t say that at all. I make pretty good money, which allows me to spend my nights drink with you fellas, and the work itself is not so bad. I’m not looking for something perfect. I’m figuring everything out and just getting by is fine for me. I want to live simply, and right now, working at a restaurant makes that happen for me. So, I don’t have all the much to complain about.(Luc begins to walk along the concrete edge of the roof facing the audience. Casually dancing or traipsing along the edge.)

Kieran: I don’t know man. I just can’t be content with that, even for a short time. I feel this constant burning to be working on something bigger than any of this. (Luc twirls gracefully on the edge of the roof)

Luc: Whatever makes you happy my friend, but I don’t know if thinking like that will ever actually make you happy. (Luc jumps down from the edge)

Bobby: Happiness is an illusion.

Luc: (sarcastically) Wow, that’s deep.

Bobby: (takes a drink and shrugs) They can’t all be winners.

Kieran: I just know, that at some point, I’ll tell all those people to fuck off. Then, Luc, I will show you how happy I am.

Luc: (Laughing) I know you will, some day. Anyways, I can’t just sit up here all day with you and the birds talkin’ shit. I, unlike you two degenerates, have people who await my presence with baited breath. (Kieran gets up on the concrete edge of the building now, and looks down facing the audience)

Kieran: Speaking of people, here come some more! What’s up shitheads! (cackling) Aww, come on, you know I love you! Get your asses inside before it starts raining and getting all apocalyptic and shit.

Bobby: (exasperated) It’s not going to rain. No storm is fucking coming.

Luc: On that note, I’m going inside, because, shit, it might actually start raining. Orevwa frè m ‘yo.

Bobby: Oh you don’t you get started with that Creole shit. Go back to Louisiana with that noise.

Luc: Ou se yon kouyoné.

Bobby: (Laughing) What does that mean?Are you insulting me in a foreign tongue you bastard?

Luc: (Sly Grin) Wouldn’t you like to know? (Luc exits through the open hatch)

Bobby: (Turns to Kieran who’s still standing on the concrete edge of the roof) What the fuck are you doing up there?

Kieran: Just thinking man. Thinking, thinking, thinking. Ya know, from up here it feels like I could just fly off the edge of this thing. Soar over Brooklyn like a damn wino bird.

Bobby: Ah yes, the famous wino birds of Brooklyn. They’re beautiful this time of year.

Kieran: You know what I mean.

Bobby: I promise you, I don’t.

Kieran: It’s a metaphor man. The idea of flight, of escaping all these confines and restrictions.

Bobby: Confines and restrictions? You talk like you’re in jail or something.

Kieran: I think I am, in a way.

Bobby: What possible way could that be?

Kieran: Confined by the vagaries of life and commitment.

Bobby: Wow, that’s so beautiful. You’re poet.

Kieran: Shut up.

Bobby: Seriously though, you want to just break out and go… Where? And, why? Weren’t you lecturing me earlier about the importance of relationships, and commitment?

Kieran: Yeah, but you know there’s a romantic aspect of leaving. Shaking it off. Committing to life and experience, like a young Kerouac or Burroughs.

Bobby: Didn’t both of those guys die at like 50?

Kieran: I don’t know, but they must have like 50 lifetimes worth of adventure in those years.

Bobby: I guess so, but I still don’t understand where this is coming from. You were mister commitment just like (checks watch) an hour ago.

Kieran: I’m a complicated person.

Bobby: That’s very true. Or you’re just convoluted. But what’s the difference?

Kieran: Convoluted or not you have to see the appeal, you of all people. The idea of just going off across the country. Not a care in the world. That’s what I want to do, and from this vantage point it all seems possible.

Bobby: It is possible. Why couldn’t you, just do it?

Kieran: It’s like I said, I have so much holding me here, I can’t just leave, I have a girlfriend, a job, school, all that.

Bobby: Weren’t you just complaining about all of that? Isn’t that exactly what you would want to leave? Isn’t that the point?

Kieran: It’s easier said than done, Bobby. You have to see that.

Bobby: I don’t know.

Kieran: Besides now-a-days its different than way back when. People don’t just off and leave like that now. We’re all so connected. It would be impossible to really break free. How would I even get anywhere without everyone knowing? Or wanting to know? It’s not like it was then all the romance of mysterious disappearance is gone.

Bobby: It’s not like people just left town casually back then either. If they did then why would Kerouac even matter to us now? He’s significant because he rejected society, in a cliché fashion, but something about the bravery of it still rings true.

Kieran: Okay okay, but my point is more people did it then than they do now.

Bobby: Honestly, I’m not sure about that.

Kieran: Not sure of what? How many people do you know that have done anything like that?

Bobby: None.

Kieran: See.

Bobby: But then again, I know a lot of people like you.

Kieran: What?

Bobby: I don’t want to be rude. We were doing so well there for a while.

Kieran: It’s not like you to worry about being rude. Someone catch me I think I might just fall over.

Bobby: You’re a funny guy.

Kieran: Seriously, what are you trying to say to me? Because whatever it was that you were driving at seemed kind of fucked up.

Bobby: Don’t be sensitive, I’m just saying that I think your life and your supposed life goals are a contradiction.

Kieran: Huh?

Bobby: You want to be like Kerouac and just set out on the road on a whim, right?

Kieran: Well, but, I still don’t…

Bobby: (interrupting) Look, let me finish before you jump in to defend yourself.

Kieran: Okay. (Drinks)

Bobby:You say that what you want is freedom, separation, to reject all the bounds that hold us together in society, but in fact that’s not what you want at all. You want the complete fucking opposite. You want heroism. You want grandeur. You want society to elevate you, and you think the best way to do it is to neg society into loving you.

Kieran: No, that’s not true at all. How could those two things possibly be true? You can be the biggest bullshitter I ever did meet. (slugs a huge gulp of wine)

Bobby: Well if that’s what you think…

Kieran: It is what I think. It’s exactly what I fucking think. I also think you just wish you could do it, and you know you can’t. So you just sit back here and rip everyone else’s dreams apart. You lash out at me because I want to do something great, and it’s pretty shitty of you.

Bobby: Shitty, why? You didn’t even let me finish my damn thought. Which is honestly pretty shitty of you if we are just gonna put our cards out on the table.

Kieran: Whoa, shitty of me? To stop you from proselytizing about a life well-lived? God, you can be such a pretentious douche sometimes, but go ahead, finish your point.

Bobby: You know, I take pride in being a pretentious douche.

Kieran: Fuck off.

Bobby: It’s so easy to get under your skin. Don’t be so sensitive.

Kieran: Finish your thought, or shut the fuck up for chrissakes.

Bobby: Alright, alright, my point is that you say you want to pull a Kerouac, or whatever, but you really don’t even know what that means. You don’t even see the inanity of making a claim like that to someone. You think Kerouac went out into an unknown world, with no real money, and no plan beyond trying to get to Denver, then San Francisco, and then god knows where else, but is that what he did? Or was he self-aggrandizing a road trip to seem like a thought leader? Did his actions in fact separate him from society and take him to some higher level? No, the dude ended up drunk, crazy and howling at the moon in Northern California. Society subsumed him like it does to everyone who secretly crave its acceptance. So when you say you want to do that thing you don’t even understand why that’s so contrived. Why it’s so transparent that by rejection you really mean a need acceptance.

Kieran: Okay, but…

Bobby: Then on top of that, you won’t even do it. Every time the subject is brought up you have every excuse for why you can’t do it at the ready. Which kind of defeats the whole purported purpose of the trip, which makes your idealism nothing. Less than nothing because it’s a negation of the values you’re claiming to hold close. All you really want to do is goon a road trip, and then have us to treat you like a hero for it. How very American of you. In fact, in that context, I think I’m actually starting to like your idea.

Kieran: You’re an ass. You think because you string together an argument that sounds fancy that your getting to the core of something essential, but you’re really just putting on your own show. The show of intelligence. It’s far easier to destroy than it is to create. Creation can take time and failure. I don’t have the answer, but just going off and doing shit without thinking about that affects people in your life is crazy.

Bobby: I really don’t think so. Give me the wine. (He takes a final slug of the wine finishing the bottle and throws it off the roof stage left) You see, no one gave me permission to do that, and I didn’t do it for approval.

Kieran: It’s not about permission. You always have to be dramatic as a way to shut people down. You lash out to see if you still matter, and then you wait for the world to hit you back to know that someone cares. That’s all you do, throw things at the world, and hope that the world will respond. And good or bad you’re hoping it’ll be the time that will finally make you feel happy. (Bobby jumps up on the concrete ledge)

Bobby: You know what? You’re Goddamn right. (laughs)Speaking of wino birds, do you think I could jump off this roof right now? Do you think I would fly across that angry gray sky?

Kieran: No, I think you would fuck yourself up.

Bobby: What happened to just flying off.

Kieran: I told you it was a metaphor.

Bobby: Ahh, yes you did. (Leans far over the edge, and wobbles)

Kieran: I think you should get down. You’re all wobbly.

Bobby: I’m fine.

Kieran: You’re drunk and you can’t fly. Look, as much I’d love to see you out of my life, I don’t want to have to peel you off the sidewalk.

Bobby: I’d be fine. Look at me, I’m the wino bird. Don’t you like my plumage?

Kieran: It’s grand. But get down man. Seriously, you’re starting to freak me out. It’s all funny, but if you die, that’s it, no more of these fun little chit-chat session.

Bobby: Yeah, you’re probably right, I don’t think the wind will get beneath my wings. But who knows? Maybe if I play it just right… (Starts balancing on one leg at the edge of the roof, swerving drunkenly before catching himself and panting while regaining his balance. Kieran grabs his arm to steady him) Still think that storm is gonna come?

Kieran: It looks like it, to me.

Bobby: Hey man, it’s like I told you, that storm’s never coming. They never, ever do.

(Bobby jumps down from the ledge, grabs Kieran around the shoulder, kisses him lightly on the cheek, and they then walk back toward the hatch on the roof as the lights go down and thunder rumbles overhead.)

CURTAIN