This is Day 12 of Hindtrospectives’ #MyMosqueMyStory series for Ramadan 2015

By Sabira Dewji

The media these days is all about the “oppressed” Muslimah, be it CNN or some Pro-Muslim media. We are told by many that we are “un-mosqued” and “second class citizens.” There is so much noise out there that I just want to say, “SHUT UP!” While I don’t want to discount the discrimination within Muslim communities, we have to admit that we are not ONE community; we are many communities trying and failing to be one. So while my view may not be yours, it is as real and needs to be heard too.

As a Shia, I am a minority in the Muslim World, but we have a number of Centers, and Mosques all over the World. I have been to many of these places of worship and have yet to come across one where women are not welcome. Women have elected positions within these communities so that the female voice can be heard – a chairwoman who is in charge of the ladies’ programs. We also take part in Jumm’ah, and have female lecturers and reciters – no side doors and no inadequate places. We have rooms for mothers to come with their newborns and toddlers. Enough chairs for the elderly. Clean bathrooms and wudhu areas. Mind you sometimes the bathrooms stink, not because we are forgotten, but because women can be quite dirty too!

In Ramadhan, we have our own programs where we recite the Qur’an and dua and join the men in jamaat for Maghreb and Isha prayers. I don’t need to lead the prayers to be close to Allah. My path is for me to walk alone; no prayer of mine is less than that of a man. Also, as a hijabi, having my own space at the mosque means that I can dress up for myself and be in a safe place where I can express my individuality and literally let my hair down. I understand the need to bond with your kids and spouse through dua, but there is also something that I realized, as a mother of a young girl. My daughter needs a space to dress up and be the same as everyone else and not wear hijab outside the house; she needs a place where she can be told, “You are so beautiful.”

We all have different needs from the mosque, and the only way we are going to get our needs meet is by getting involved with the community. We have many activist Muslims who are doing outreach. Maybe it is time we did some “in-reach” and work with our communities to help them meet our needs. During the month of Ramadhan, in search of our spirituality, let us remember that we have examples of great women in Islam, be it the mother of Prophet Isa, Bibi Mariam (pbuh); the wife of the Prophet, Bibi Khadijah (pbuh), or the daughter of the Prophet, Bibi Fatema (pbuh). Let’s not be shy in our faith. If you feel that you are not being heard, get involved in your communities and make the changes so your voice is being heard. And if your voice still isn’t heard, then find another community where it will be .

Sabira Dewji is a hijabi, Shia Muslim, and a mum from across the pond living in northern Virginia.