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With football clubs preparing their merchandise for Christmas sales, The Watford Gazette can today confirm it has received a draft version of the club’s official 2018 calendar, which only contains pictures of Sebastian Prödl. A spokesman for the club explained the decision: “We wanted the calendar to feature players that will be with the club for the duration of 2018. There’s nothing more awkward than starting a new month with a player who has since left. I’ve been looking wistfully at Behrami since October 1st”. When asked why they decided on Prödl the spokesman responded: “We obviously want to sell as many as possible, so Sebastian was the obvious choice. The big shoulders, the man-bun, the chiseled jaw. He’s got it all”. The calendar features seasonal images for each month, such as posing half-naked as Cupid for February, assisting a distressed ewe during lambing season in March, hunting for chocolate eggs in April whilst dressed as the Easter Bunny, enjoying a festival in August with a refreshing can of non-alcoholic beer, dressing up as Count Dracula for October and unwrapping presents under a neatly decorated Christmas tree whilst wearing an over the top knitted jumper in December. The Watford gazette is led to believe that the club will also be producing a 365 day desk calendar, featuring daily motivational quotes from Heurelho Gomes.

@WatfordGazette