So I proceeded as one does these days: tsk-tsking various columns of yours, occasionally snarking about you on Twitter, and ascribing to the belief that The New York Times’s decision to hire you was most likely bad for America and the future of liberal democracy.

But I always had this nagging feeling that the Bari Weiss cyber outrage was overblown. Then, we became friends, and every tender thought I’d had about you was confirmed.

BARI: I was scared of you. Or rather, you were like the caricature of the person I know hates me on the internet: Gawker Media alum, probable Democratic Socialists of America member, many tattoos. That’s like my personal axis of evil.

Then we ended up at the same conference , and you asked if I wanted to hang out.

I thought there was a solid chance you were going to try to James O’Keefe me, which is why I suggested swimming — quite hard to wear a wire in a bathing suit — but it ended up being really fun. We talked almost nothing about politics, but about relationships and love and how we grew up.

The other thing that was sort of strangely serendipitous : The night before I had had a horrible experience with two other people at the conference who confronted me in a bar about my views in a particularly vicious way that was intended to humiliate me. I was shaken up by it.

You had actually heard about it from the guy involved, who was bragging to you about bullying me, thinking he had come upon someone like-minded. In a way, this was perfect timing for me to meet you because I allowed myself to be vulnerable and to talk about it with you.

EVE: We also connected over our Jewish upbringings, being women writers, and finding common ground over the absurd aspects of internet outrage culture. Social media has the tendency to flatten people. It gives us the ability to immediately post any passing thought, which doesn’t lend itself to thoughtfulness or nuance. Not only can someone become a caricature of her stupidest tweet, but it creates an environment in which the most bombastic, aggressive takes about the hot topic of the day get the most engagement. Feuds flourish; offering the benefit of the doubt to another person is a sign of cowardice, or of not being sufficiently moral.