Thinking about getting back on the dating scene? Follow our older women dating tips and you won’t be single for long.

For older women dating can be a complex thing. Times have changed, and as a rule society doesn’t tend to judge a woman for pursuing love and sex in the way that it used to. Unfortunately, if you’re a woman of a certain age, having an active sex life is still something that can invite unsolicited opinions.

If you’re in your 50s or older, it’s not unusual to find yourself dismissed or entirely discounted when it comes to conversations about sex, romance and dating. Wanting to re-enter the dating scene in later life can put you in the firing line of well-meaning friends, curious colleagues, and rude strangers. Whether they’re counselling you on what to wear, advising that you avoid dating anyone younger, or asking questions about how going through “the Change” has affected your sex drive, these people can quickly transform your dating excitement into dating dread.

Here’s the good news: the official statistics indicate that more and more men and women are enjoying dating, sex and romance in later life – in fact, between 2004 and 2014, the number of brides and grooms aged over 65 increased by 46%. If you feel like an alien for seeking out a new romance later in life, just remember that you’re not alone, no matter how your coupled-up friends might make you feel.

If you’re looking to date and find love and you aren’t sure where to start, read on for some honest and straightforward advice about older women dating.

Don’t rule anything out

For older women dating, it can be tempting to go into the dating pool with a very fixed idea of what you want to get out of it. Maybe you’re determined to meet someone of a certain age, or perhaps you’re seeking a potential partner who has children. The truth is that while dating later in life tends to be a very different experience to dating in your twenties or thirties, you should still approach it with the same openness.

As an older woman dating, it’s likely that you’ll encounter people who have been divorced, lost a partner, suffered long-term illness, and/or have grown-up children – and you yourself may fall into the same categories. Both of you have lived your own lives, completely independent of one another. As a result, there’s far less pressure for your lives to slot together perfectly – a bit of compromise is always going to be needed, and maintaining your independence is par for the course.

In short, be open to dating anyone with whom you have a good connection – and yes, that includes somebody younger!

Try online dating

On a practical level, online dating can be a lifesaver for older women venturing into the modern-day dating world. Older women dating can use internet dating services are designed to be easy to use, which means you don’t have to develop any advanced tech skills. They’re also a great way to get to know potential dates before committing to that crucial first meeting.

The key to making the most of online dating is finding a service that works for you. For readers of The Telegraph, Telegraph Dating can be an excellent way to meet someone likeminded who shares a similar worldview – our service also tends to attract people in the older age brackets. If you’re looking for something fun and casual, you could try something like Tinder, which requires you to “swipe” yes or no on photos of potential matches. Tinder’s a good shout if you’re seeking a younger partner, as it tends to attract people in their twenties and thirties.

As for creating that perfect profile? Put up a few recent photos, talk about what’s important to you, and (bearing in mind our first tip) be open-minded when it comes to what you’re looking for.

Be body positive

According to the statistics, older men and women are far more open to kissing and having sex early on in a new relationship when compared with youngsters. It makes sense when you think about it – after all, by the time we’ve reached our 50s or 60s we tend to have a “been there, done that” attitude towards bedroom behaviour. What’s more, women aged between 65 and 74 tend to be the most confident about their bodies when compared with other age groups.

Having said that, older women can still feel intimidated by the prospect of entering into a sexual relationship with someone new. If you’re lacking in confidence, try to recapture some positivity before you start dating to ensure that you’ll feel comfortable between the sheets.

Changing your appearance drastically shouldn’t be a requirement, but sometimes an expensive haircut, a tutorial from a professional makeup artist, or a few new items from your favourite dress shop can make all the difference. Beyond looking good, body positivity is about feeling good. Try taking up a new activity that reminds you of what your body is capable – whether it’s swimming, yoga, salsa dancing or hillwalking. As an added bonus, getting fitter and more flexible will do you wonders in the bedroom…

Don’t settle

For older women dating, you don’t have the luxury of time. While this may seem like a disadvantage, it can come in handy when you find yourself dithering over a prospective partner. In your twenties it’s far easier to brush off problematic behaviour or early warning signs that you aren’t compatible – but when you’re in your fifties or sixties, you can keep things much simpler. If it doesn’t feel right, you shouldn’t waste your energy trying to make it work or crossing your fingers that things will improve. Instead, pack it in and move on to something new.

Essentially, it’s important to take your time finding that special someone. Yes, you may feel like the clock is ticking and you want to settle down soon, but there’s no point committing to something that isn’t right. Don’t rush into anything, and take the time to make sure that your lifestyles are compatible before you commit. Extricating yourself from a six-month romance is far more hassle than politely nipping something in the bud.

Communicate with your friends and family

If you are an older women dating and have children, chances are you feel a little nervous about broaching the subject of dating. If you’re divorced or widowed, you might worry that your children will view any new relationship as a betrayal. Whatever your children think (and the chances are they’ll be on board!) it’s important to be honest with them early on in the process. The same goes for any particularly close friends or family members.

Just remember that, while honesty is important, you’re entitled to your privacy. Tell your loved ones you’re dating, certainly, but don’t feel the need to give in to their questions, and never introduce a new partner to them unless you’re completely ready.

Stay safe in the bedroom!

Returning to the dating scene after a long time away, it can be easy to forget about contraception. If you’ve been through the menopause it can be even more tempting to forego condoms, but don’t make that mistake! Whatever your assumptions, sexually transmitted infections are a problem amongst the over-fifties, and picking up something nasty is a sure-fire way to sour that newfound confidence.

Telegraph Dating

For more tips and advice on successful dating after 40, visit our Mature Dating section.

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