The Daily Distraction: Huggies for Chickens Just in time for Easter, it's the Chicken Diaper - made proudly in St. Tammany Parish. But wait, there's more! They are res-usable!

Grace gets REAL Stephanie Grace talks about how much a pain boarding flights can be with a Louisiana ID because we don't have REAL ID (the headline suggests it is timely in the wake of Brussels attacks but it doesn't really elaborate on how. Grace writes that will all change). The big question here is: how do you afford air travel on a journalist's salary?

Veto No Go Republicans in the House have ended their drive to veto line item edits from John Bel Edwards in the budget cuts. Not that they had a change of heart, but the votes just weren't there. Or, maybe, it was that it might mean working on Good Friday and we can't have that!

Kennedy's got Complaining Down to an Art Remember when State Treasurer John Kennedy went all angry American about the expensive art at the New Charity Hospital. According to Lamar White, Jr., he shouldn't be throwing stones at glass art when he leaves in a glass house - or actually a non-state owned office that costs us more money than one that is owned by the state. White has records that show Kennedy's office has at least $300,000 in art, including a Clementine Hunter piece. How about we put that up for auction and move you into a state office before we talk about expenses?

Whoa, Warden Looks like Burl Cain won't be heading back to Angola as an inmate. Two investigations cleared the former warden of wrongdoing. That's great for him, but I was kinda hoping to see him go back in and run the joint as El Jeffe, tatted up and giving the shiv to those who oppose him.

FBI, LSTA, Tho The hunt is on. Louisiana Voice reports that the FBI is investigating the Louisiana State Troopers Association campaign contributions to Louisiana candidates. Looks like they didn't contribute to the right fund.

Happy Town, USA Just how happy are we? The Today Show came to town to answer that question. Cause, you know, we are the happiest place in the United States. Those happy people must have never tried to make a left turn on Johnston Street or exit the CVS on the corner of Verot and Ambassador.

It's About to Get REAL The Senate Transportation Committee moved towards making our IDs complaint with REAL ID requirements. Now, there are a few more steps to take and we won't need to replace our old ones before 2020 but I feel like Steve Martin in The Jerk: The new licenses are (almost) here! The new licenses are (almost) here! We're finally somebody.

Not Really Satire The Red Shtick reveals the key for defeating Donald Trump: Bobby Jindal. Not as a candidate, oh no that would never work, but with an endorsement. Please, Bobby, we promise we will leave you alone.

Bel Bashing Bobby Who is bashing Bobby today? Why it's John Bel Edwards (via The Advocate)! The Advocate shows how much of Edwards' legislative agenda seeks to counter things Jindal did. Stop making the Hayride mad already.

So Much Money, We Don't Even Know Where it Doesn't Come From We don't have a spending problem, we have an exempting problem. The Revenue & Fiscal Affairs Committee will look at some 400 or so tax exemptions for ones that need to be killed. The lede says it all: "Louisiana gives away nearly $1 billion a year from dozens of sales tax exemptions without state officials knowing the cost for each one."

Education Cuts Back Again With the budget not where it should be, public education is again in jeopardy of being hit with cuts. The $44 million in cuts we once thought schools escaped is looming again. This time, the Minimum Foundation Program is in danger. What is Minimum Foundation Program? Under this program, school districts get funding as a block grant. It is connected to how many students are enrolled and the cost of education each student - some $4 thousand a year. Cutting this is bad news. This isn't the same as when the $44 million would put standardized testing in a pinch. Speculation is that it will be teachers' salaries. This is money we can't afford to lose.

We're Number One ... at Something Uhm, this a mixed bag to say the least, but here's a compilation of things at which Louisiana is number one. There are some throwaways like crawfish production, but bright spots are included such as ACT gains. Too bad we couldn’t fill the whole list with things like that and, instead, had to turn to things like most bars per capita.

Crash Test Dummies Louisiana ranks 14th in terms of expense of operating a vehicle in the United States. The only surprise here is that we are not higher - have you seen that pothole behind Chick-Fil-A?

Red vs Blue? Not so Much! Remember how the world seemed to turn upside down when Democrat John Bel Edwards defeated Republican David Vitter? According to the 2016 Louisiana Survey by LSU’s Reilly Center for Media and Public Affairs, it wasn’t such a big deal as there’s really not much difference between the Left and the Right in Louisiana. The survey says we agree on things like Common Core, minimum wage, TOPS and same-sex marriage. That’s the first good thing to come out of Common Core. How about we keep it around? Nah.

Sausage Factory Bayou Buzz interviews Tyler Bridges about the secret deal involving Senate President John Alario and House Speaker Taylor Barras and business lobbyists. This is how your government is made, folks!

Bobby Bashers Hate is a pretty strong word, but The Hayride says The Advocate hates Bobby Jindal and references Tyler Bridges' piece about his future plans as evidence. The next day, The Advocate was back again it again with this piece by Stephanie Grace. Here's the thing: the media probably doesn't hate Jindal. But, you gotta call him out. Are we overdoing it on that job? Maybe. There's plenty of times I have skipped posting a piece about what he has done, figuring it beating a dead horse (like this piece of Bobby bashing in The Week). Nevertheless, Jindal is owed as much. At the same time, the dislike is compounded with the expectations and potential to which he didn’t live up. Even Grace calls him smart and notes he has a future, but also a past. And that’s the thing. Jindal can’t be allowed to skate on this us. We owe you that much.

Landrieu Must Show his Cards The Hayride seems downright giddy that New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu lost his battle with The Lens and now must make public what firms are benefiting from city contracts. Chill guys, the monuments are still coming down.

The Daily Distraction: Me, Myself but not I Tom Aswell goes all Internerd grammar Nazi on the LSU baseball commentators use of "I" when they shoudl have said "me." Me know, its a slow blog day for I.

Whiz Kid Apparently, the financing magic Bobby Jindal worked to keep the budget passed on down the line "alive" during his time in office makes payday loans look like a good idea. What's the vig? About $231 million in extra charges to be paid by us. I wish I ran a big company so I could put him on the board. That guy knows how to run things.

Perks over Budget Yeah, I get it. It's a pain having to commute to Baton Rouge, and you don't make that much - never mind the $157 a day allotment for expenses. But, how about instead of cutting services and raising taxers, we turn the Pentagon Barracks into private housing and make money off of them instead of renting them to legislators for cheap? If you don't like it, I don't know, move out the way and let someone take your spot in the office to which you were elected to serve (not to get perks).

Huh In case you haven't heard the mainstream media's reports on protesters shutting down the roads leading to a Donald Trump rally: protesters shut down the roads leading to a Donald Trump rally. There's a Louisiana connection: the lead protester - who chained her check to the door of a van - lives in New Orleans (she is originally from Mexico). Man, I really wanted to hear what he was going to say.

The Daily Distraction: Flooding for Safety The Daily Crawfish reports on officials using floods keeping Interstate 10 safe. While they are at it, let's flood Ambassador at Chick-Fil-A so people will stop parking on the road so they can get them waffle fries.

Monky Business Monky Business Why, back in my day you could depend on Buddhist monks to spout Zen like statements, reject materialism and destroy you in some martial arts, even if they had no legs. Nowadays, they roll them dice. Kids today are missing out.

More than One Direction for One Acadiana Solutions! With the oil industry tanking, One Acadiana presented a study showing where we can go instead. You hear that, T? We going back to work!

Bobby's Future There's a great deal of recapping what you already know about Bobby Jindal in this piece, but the last quarter is about his future moves. What will happen? Speaking engagements, seats on boards and - because he is young and we are so forgetful - re-entry into politics.

Vitter and Cassidy Back the Block David Vitter and Bill Cassidy are on somewhat of the same page when it comes to President Obama's Supreme Court nominee. While Vitter rules out action, Cassidy says he would be down for a courtesy meeting but opposes voting on him. Well, that seems like a big serving of nothing.

Dealing and Wheeling Louisiana Voice cries foul over what the Advocate called a secret deal between Senate President John Alario, House Speaker Taylor Barras and lobbyists for LABI and the Louisiana Chemical Association over a tax break for manufacturing. Man, some people just don't learn. This is why you have a 15 percent favorability rating.

Polls and Results A new UNO poll details what Louisiana residents are thinking about the state of things in the state. For one, they are slowly changing their opinion about John Bel Edwards and remain negative on Bobby Jindal. In three weeks since the last polling, JBE's rating went from 34 to 43 percent. That is still pretty low but is still better than what they think about Jindal - nearly half blame him for the budget crisis. Both are whipping the legislature, which has a 15 percent favorability rating. In another poll, this one by LSU, 63 percent said the state is moving in the wrong direction. That's not really surprising. What's surprising is how did they find people who didn't think we are heading downhill?

The Daily Distraction: Catahoula is Nuts On Monday, Mr. Peanut's Nutmobile was spotted in Catahoula. There was very little info given on this and there's even less to support it on the Nutmobile's website. Nothing else has come out of the story. Either it is the weirdest stop on its tour or someone coming out of Red's Levee Bar saw a tan RV.

Truth and Fiction Daryl Dixon/Norma Reedus from the Walking Dead was in Lafayette Wednesday. That is a fact. Seen it on the Facebook (watch that hand son, she's a badass judoka) . But, what he was here for is a different story. The Daily Crawfish gets the scoop.

Clay Higgins on the Job Do you feel safer already? Clay Higgins has signed on as a reserve deputy marshal for the city of Lafayette. Don't get too excited: Shaq has a similar post and I don't see him out fighting crime. I guess the good news is he is not out there going solo vigilante on bad guys.

WHATARUSH! The Saints have signed James Laurinaitis of the Rams. The linebacker helped put the Rams over the Saints the last couple years in some really ugly games on our part. Bonus: he is the son of Road Warrior Animal!

Swamp Grass Man, I don't know if it is this weed or these laws in New Orleans, but ... hey, have you seen my Doritos?

Da Berry Doesn't Disappoint They throwin' cats in Da Berry.

As Usual Louisiana Voice points out that the qualifications for a six-figure state job is not what you know but to whom you are married. Oh, and the job has been unfilled for five years, meaning we probably could have gotten by with it being vacant during our time of cuts.

Friends in Oil Places John Bel Edwards has already started fundraising for reelection, turning to a once-enemy for some dough. Political action committees linked to the Louisiana Mid-Continent Oil and Gas Association and the Louisiana Chemical Association joined forces to throw him a fundraiser. Don Briggs, the president of LOGA, said it is a no-brainer as, "He's governor." While it is very early, he's got the right idea: if Edwards doesn't pull us through this budget gap with minimal taxes and cuts, he will need every penny come 2019.

The Daily Distraction: Food Hey, but at least we can eat good! New Orleans received more nominations - per capita - for the James Beard award than any city in America and the third most overall.

Butt Head Ugh, what's worse? Smoking or being a dog killer? How about being a dog killer because your mommy wouldn't give you money for cigarettes?

Don't Pay Today, Pay More Tomorrow With public defender offices across the state too broke to function, we could face tremendous legal fees down the road as convictions are overturned and appealed. That's ok, that is a problem for another day's budget and we love to kick the can in Louisiana.

There's no Business Like Show business The Advocate says that if the special session was a play on Broadway, it would get cancelled. Instead, it gets another run via the regular session.According to Stephanie Grace, John Bel Edwards will have a tough role to tackle. And there's no understudy. I think I'd rather watch a Broadway musical ... and I hate Broadway musicals.

Voting on Bobby According to Jeremy Alford, the regular session will not just be politics as usual but a referendum on Bobby Jindal and, specifically, his education reform. Notes Alford, “These bills have the political gunpowder to launch mini-wars that would pit the right against the left and business against unions.” So much for hugging it out.

Today's Bobby Jindal Nonsense Bill Moyers called out Bobby Jindal specifically as one of the things that led to Donald Trump's acsension. This goes against the theory expressed by Jindal that Obama created Trump. Meanwhile, in Jindal's daily here's-what-I-think report, he says voters want politicians to know that they work for us, not the other way around. Can you please tell us again how you were working for us while stumping in Iowa?

More Special Sessions on the Way Looks like more taxes are on the way. Yesterday. numbers were released that show Louisiana still faces a deficit of more than $70 million in the current budget cycle and will fall some $750 million short in the coming year. Most legislators say this can't be overcome without more taxes.

The Daily Distraction: Alexandria - Big City Problems, Small City Attractions Not to be left out, Alexandria has a confederate monument fight brewing. Just don't go to Colfax, y'all. You won't like what you find.

Not Gentlemen Lawmakers Not everyone is hugging it out: Rep. Valarie Hodges of Denham Springs spoke to Moon Griffon about the nastiness she says she faced for refusing to vote for tax increases. Legislators not being upstanding human beings? No way!

The Hayride Borrows From the Voice The Hayride has no use for progressive/left-leaning sites like Louisiana Voice, except for when they steal material from them and don't give credit. In that case, they are pretty useful.

Big Vitter News Yay! David Vitter is coming to Lafayette ... said no one ever.

JBE is all about the Applause If you were wondering what got applause and what didn't in John Bel Edwards' state of the state speech, here's a handy break down. According to this both sides like bucking Washington, D.C. trends and gaining local control of education. Equal pay for women, not so much.

Bobby on Trump, Again Oh, Bobby Jindal. Here, The Raisin says Donald Trump is fine with big government as long as he is running it. Please. Stop. No one really cares what your little Raisin head thinks about the Donald. Then again, at least he is not trying to lend a hand to Louisiana.

JBE is a Hugger Too John Bel Edwards wants to hug it out too. In his state of the state speech, he called for unity and played to the crowd using Louisiana's uniqueness. One thing he also called for was rail service from Baton Rouge to New Orleans. Look, that would be neat, but - if it involves any state money, even if there is a federal match - let's focus on righting the budget and fixing the basics before we get all Tokyo Bullet Train.

The Daily Distraction: Let's Get Carried Away (Again)! Woo hoo! Gas prices are going up! Let's cut taxes!

Better Call Saul Better Call Saul Forget the Fifth Amendment, forget due process, there's a budget crisis. Forget the old saying that if you commit a crime, be sure you can afford a good lawyer. Now, in Louisiana, be sure you can afford any lawyer because one will not be provided.

A Flood of Problems The flooding in northern and eastern parts of our state is experiencing is bringing back Katrina and Rita memories. It is so bad, Some areas (but not the ones above New Orleans where it is needed as well) have been declared disaster areas by President Obama. Let's see, budget crisis, economy in the toilet. higher education in jeopardy, no money for public defenders, taxes going up and now flooding. What more can go wrong? That's a rhetorical question, please don't answer it.

NOLA, Space City Wait, there's rockets and NASA in New Orleans?

But I want to Forget! The American Press has a pretty good summary of what is behind us on the special session and what is yet to come. That is, if you aren't sick of it already.

Drive-by Fostering Louisiana Voice's Tom Aswell uses an arrest for falsifying records to jump into the cuts that have been made under Bobby Jindal's time in office. He has an email from a Louisiana Department of Children and Family Services supervisor who says things are far from up to par. It points out drive-by checks on foster homes conducted without stepping into the home. Aswell provides numbers on the program's deficits. To say the least, it doesn't look good and likely will not get better in our time of cuts. Maybe workers could be replaced by nanny cams? That sounds like top quality care, eh?

Hug it Out Senate President John Alario says to for legislators to leave all that bad stuff behind and give each other a hug. Seriously. That's what he said.

What's Next? What's Next? Now that the budget is (not) done, the regular session is upon us. What's in store? Oh, not much other than protection for gay marriage opponents, some stuff about nonhuman primate service animals, limiting the amount of money state agencies can use to buy sculptures. You know, the usual.

The Daily Distraction: Was it Delivery or was it Digiorno? Not to make light of this case of domestic abuse (or cases of habitual and life threatening domestic abuse by comparing them to this), but in Eunice a piece of pepperoni pizza was used to assault a woman during an argument. Scratches and threats of stabbing were exchanged, cheese and pepperoni was stuck to her head and she was taken to a hospital for a burn to her face. Both parties were arrested and the police chief gave the quote of the year: “That squabble got a little saucy." As for me, I'd allow my wife to hit me in the face with a slice as long as it has extra pepperoni and my mouth is open.

Budget Sausage You don't want to see how the sausage is made, especially when it is made with your money.

Bobby or Katrina? The question of which was worse thing to happen to the state - Bobby Jindal or Hurricane Katrina - is posed here, but never really examined with cold hard facts. Look, Jindal screwed us but has yet to be responsible for a massive amount of people losing their homes or lives. I think we can settle this one pretty easily.

Sadow on JBE Jeff Sadow calls John Bel Edwards the complainer in chief and says he lied and the things he says don't relate to reality. That sounds familiar, where have I heard it before, Jeff

Alario looks to the Future Senate President John Alario shed tears in frustration at the end of the session. Looks like he'll need a Kleenex again as he says it is not looking good for next year, in fact it's a disaster.

Mother Jones: Oil is the Devil Mother Jones weighs in on our budget crisis, using it as an indictment on fossil fuels. It's true that it's not best to put all your eggs in one basket - read: 1980's oil bust - especially when that basket is so tumultuous due to outside influences, but their green agenda is clearly showing. The smart money is on being smart - using what we have, reigning in spending, diversifying and taxing where appropriate. Don't count on the oil industry to save us when prices turn back around and don't count on our "leaders" to learn from their mistakes. Do count on oil to continue to be a big part of our economy for years to come and for some people to have a big problem with that.

Trump and Bobby at the White House This fantasy piece dreams up what an encounter between Donald Trump and Bobby Jindal (and later Trump and Vladimir Putin) would be like if the Donald takes the election. The headline promises a laugh, but all I can think about is "it's only just a dream, it's only just a dream."

Daily Distraction: OMG It’s Cajun Sno! If you are anything like the people on my Facebook feed, this is more important than the budget crisis. Brace yourself: Cajun Sno is almost ready to re-open. Meanwhile, what happened to this long winter we were supposed to have?

A Silver Lining in the Cloud of Bad Hair According to The Hayride, Donald Trump will actually get less delegates from Louisiana than Ted Cruz, despite Trump's win in our primary. The Hayride has a screen grab of a Facebook rant from one of Trump's people and a chart that shows why. Hmmm, is this actually a win for our delegates system? Maybe this is why the Founding Fathers invented things like the Electoral College - to save us from ourselves.

Good News or Bad? According to this report, what we already knew is still true: access to healthcare sucks in Louisiana. Or maybe it doesn't suck as bad as we thought. According to this we are the 25th worst state for access to healthcare. In case you went to school here: there are 50 states; we are 25th; we are right in the middle. So, if you think about it, we are the 25th on the list for the best states for healthcare access. That really doesn't make it any better, does it?

Bobby Jindal brings us Together It's unanimous: SAVE is dead. The act - passed by Bobby Jindal for his no tax resume - was refuted with a unanimous vote (that means all) in the House and Senate. Gee, Bobby, that should read as a message

The Session Ends The drama. The last minute passes. At least one person in tears, another saying we could have done more. Knowing this will all repeat itself. It's not a post game conference from the Saints – it’s the post special session report. There's almost too much to digest and comment on but we are going to do it any way. One good - or bad - takeaway is that education escaped without cuts. The proposed cuts to education would have impacted state testing - making PARCC tests and the ACT impossible to accomplish for schools. Had that happened, many people would have been happy. Now, vouchers might be impacted, which is to the delight of John Bel Edwards. LSU's fall football season has survived the cuts - which is important because so many people in this state base their self-worth on the success of the Tigers. Despite the cuts and revenue raising, there is still trouble on the horizon. The budget cycle is not fixed and could see a $30 million hole in the current cycle and an $800 million in the cycle starting in July. For me, the whole drama of arguing back and forth and then a close finish is indicative of the partisan politics that plague us. It also reeks of drama for the sake of drama. This is a show legislators put on for us. A shell game to win voter support. Here's a simple equation: do your job, do what's right for this state or get out of the way.

Daily Distraction: Suh, Bruh After Peyton manning's big news this week, Drew Brees tweeted a pic of two QBs from 1998. #TBT #totallynotataNSYNCconcert In other Saints news, Ben Watson has agreed to a deal with the Ravens. Watson was a standout on the field and off - authoring a poignant book about race relations. He is a loss in terms of player output and leadership.

Vitter funding the Donald? The measure David Vitter wants to take to stop non-citizens from sending money out of the country will slap a fee on those transactions and use the money gained to pay for border security. This site scratches its head and ponders the question of is that accidentally a bill to pay for Donald Trump's wall? This is just what we need: A Vitter-Trump alliance, accidental or not. How long until Vitter is out of office?

Shufflin' Out the Way Ever wonder what happened to that guy from Lafayette who did that "Cupid Shuffle" song? Yeah, me neither. But here it is anyway - he almost got gored by a bull at a rodeo in Texas. But, thankfully, he was able to shuffle out of the way. Thank God! Had he been killed we would have had infinite repeats of that song as we mourn him. I just can’t take that right now.

Bobby Created Trump in Louisiana Contrary to Bobby Jindal’s idea that Obama created Donald Trump, this piece says that Louisiana’s Republican support of Donald Trump is owed to Bobby Jindal's failures. Ken Levy notes that voters see Trump as a non-establishment candidate and that a vote for him is "a vote with the middle finger." No, that's not what we said: we want give Trump the finger not vote for him with it.

Vouchers in the Budget Cross Hairs BESE is at odds with John White over a report about the costs - or savings - associated with the state's voucher program. If you are a voucher fan, this is not going to be good news: the board refused to accept a report provided by White's agency that claimed the state saved $23.6 million by providing vouchers for students. Instead, a different take says the state would save $8 million by having those voucher students in public schools. With the budget like it is - and John Bel Edwards not a fan of the program - this almost certainly spells change for the program.

Deadline'd Last night was the deadline for the special session. According to this Times-Pic report, the governor and legislature said they were close to making a deal to fix the budget. What's their definition of close, though? For you and me, it is a few dollars short of buying a pizza this weekend. For them, could that equate to millions of dollars short? (Here's another look at the back and forth on the issue). I feel like we will be saying "more on this budget crap tomorrow" again and again. Prediction: this isn't the last of the special sessions we will see. I hate it when I am right.

Trump’s Security in New Orleans Donald Trump's New Orleans visit featured a new wrinkle in his security detail. Security agents now are dressing in plain clothes and going into the crowd to assess protesters and help uniform security remove them. Gee, this in no way can end badly can it?

Daily Distraction: Manning’s Plus One After Peyton Manning's retirement, the NFL tweeted an infographic showing the players who have caught touchdown passes from Manning - all league-leading leading 539 of them. One Saints’ fan made a slight correction - adding the game clinching pick 6 from Super Bowl 44 to the list.

The World Turned Upside Down Quote the Advocate: "'Hell no!' said Rep. Ted James, D-Baton Rouge, when asked if he would support the additional sales tax." Meanwhile, Taylor Barras, R-New Iberia, says he is receptive to an additional sales tax increase. Man, this budget crisis has dogs peeing in litter boxes and cats dousing fire hydrants.

Pig in a Poke This boudin was made with love and exploitation.

History Repeats Itself Again Stephanie Grace compares the current presidential election to a governor's race we sure would like to forget: the 1991 contest between David Duke and Edwin Edwards. Grace offers ways the GOP candidates could battle back against Donald Trump. But alas, isn't it already too late? Could you have offered this a few weeks - or months or a year - ago?

Jindal's claim has Legs From the land of Obama, columnist Phil Arvia says he gets Bobby Jindal's Obama-created-Trump logic, as they are opposites. Locally, he could use Louisiana as an example. If you go back in Louisiana history you will find cycles of boring reformers following outlandish, flamboyant corrupt characters who followed boring reformers. It is a cycle of opposites (John Bel Edwards and Jindal much?) or a chicken and egg sort of thing. Arvia also calls Jindal a human Pez dispenser. That’s pretty good.

The Daily Distraction: We Found Your Weed, Bruh The Eunice Police posted on Facebook that they found some weed. Is it yours? If so, you can claim it at the police station. Be sure to bring your photo ID. Jokes aside, someone somewhere is contemplating how to pull this off.

More Taxes for You OMG! An additional sales tax increase that is being supported by Republicans like Taylor Barras? Someone buy me a Powerball. Ok, I can't afford one, at least get me a scratch off. (Meanwhile, the House sipped at a booze tax. Now, the Senate has a choice to abstain or indulge.)

Bobby Jindal, Rhodes Scholar Bobby Jindal's claim that Obama created Donald Trump's popularity ranks on this site's vilest Right Wing moments of the week. They go as far as asking for his Rhodes Scholar status to be revoked. Look, that's a good idea but that's not even near topping the list for why he is, as the site says, a complete moron.

Sit Down, Sadow Louisiana Voice goes back for seconds on Jeff Sadow, this time taking aim at his claim that John Bel Edwards is the reason Moody's lowered our credit rating. Tom Aswell says Sadow may have a PHD behind his name but he's just not that bright.

Ted's Big Push The Washington Post looks at Ted Cruz's near victory in Louisiana. What factor pushed him up in the polls on primary day? Could it be people realized there was no hope in Donald Trump? Or could it be Cruz's Duck Dynasty endorsement? I hope not - taking political advice from a guy famous for making duck calls is pretty sad and indicative of what's wrong with our state.

Thanks for the Memories KPEL compiled what it calls Clay Higgins greatest hits. Kinda brings a tear to your eye.

Escape from Angola Escape Man, man, man. I get it. You want to test yourself. The Warrior Dash isn't enough. Escape from Angola. Sure, what could prove your mettle more to your Crossfit bodies - hey why haven't you updated your status about today's WOD, bro-ham? - but, seriously? Who thought this would be a good idea? Sleeping in the old death row? Winning the keys to the prison? This ain't a game son, this is Angola.

UL Loses Two Bowl Wins Hey, remember that time UL won those four straight bowl games? Nope. You don't. Never happened.

Thanks for the Memories KPEL compiled what it calls Clay Higgins greatest hits. Kinda brings a tear to your eye.

Scotty's In Scott Angelle has entered the race for David Vitter's Senate seat. Perhaps now John Kennedy can stop sparring with non-candidate John Bel Edwards. Yeah, doubt it.

Tax Break? (Nope, Just a Breakdown) Here's a break down of the taxes that you might be seeing soon.

Coast to Coast Jobs That vanishing coast we have may just pay off big - 13,000 plus jobs big. See, silver lining to every storm cloud!

Keep on Smoking: It's good for the State Smokers, thanks your help with the budget crisis. It's nice to know you are always reliable for a fix - nicotine or otherwise - for when we bungle things. Love, the Legislature.

Jindal: Obama Created Trump Bobby Jindal penned a piece for the Wall Street Journal, asserting that Obama created Trump. It is an interesting theory, broken down into an abridged version here. So how about it, Obamanationers, do you still hate the man who created the man you love?

Trump'd Well, you did it, didn't you? You went all Trump on us. Congrats on electing Hillary Clinton. Oh, what? You didn't know? Yeah, that's right. Trump can't win this thing. Nope. It is just not happening. Trump can't court the independent voters needed to swing the election. (Some polls say other could have, but you don't listen to polls do you?) Don't believe me? That's fine. It is still true. Don't like it? You have eight years to fix it.

The Daily Distraction, part 2: Tweets throughout Time The Huffington Post shows us what tweets would have been like in past presidential elections, had they had Twitter and been mean like Donald Trump. There's some serious besmirching going on!

Victim State Bayou Buzz puts it like this: "John Bel Edwards, Louisiana legislature still at odds while victims plead." And they are right: the people of this state are victims. The Buzz tells about parents of special needs children speaking at the Capitol as legislators wiping away tears. You should cry. This is your fault. Yes, it notes, the oil crisis is a severe factor here, but you did this to us. Compiling reactions from the crisis, the Buzz goes beyond the reporting in newspapers and shows the human side of this mess. We are halfway done and it is not halfway fixed. As one Twitter user - displayed on the Buzz - puts it: "If they're more concerned about their job security than the future of their state, they shouldn't be in office."

Ssssso Ssssorry for Your Losssss Wait, there's a fungus that kills snakes? And we are concerned about it? We should be spraying that stuff from trucks!

Iberia Burning Louisiana Voice takes aim at Louis Ackal, the Iberia Parish sheriff. Noting the beatings and deaths in custody over there, Tom Aswell says it is hotter than a Tobasco pepper on a fever blister. That's kinda like a Tabasco pepper right? (Sorry, he corrected it and that was my only joke about the piece. Seriously, WTF Iberia?)

Grace on Chris By now, you've probably seen the footage of Chris Christie, standing behind Donald Trump, looking like he was trying to solve some Common Core math. Stephanie Grace weighs in on just what was he thinking and provides an update about Bobby Jindal's activities these days. Cause you so wanted to know. Me, I think Christie just realized he left a sandwich uneaten somewhere.

Louisiana Goes to ... Who's primary is it to win? Who knows, as no one has paid any attention to us as we don't matter. True, this Advocate piece argues that we have more impact than we once did, we still don't have enough delegates to swing the thing. Also, here's an announcement exclusive to this page - because of high voter turnout predicted, Republicans who are voting for Donald Trump may do so next weekend. Everybody else, go this Saturday.

The Daily Distraction: OMG Brangelina to move to Breaux Bridge. LOL No, tho. It ain't no Us Weekly but this site - the McKenzie Post - claims Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are looking to move to Breaux Bridge. Errybody on the internet - locally - is talking about this. That is some encouraging news - yeah, not really as who gives a gerbil's sphincter - until you check out the site's contact page.

It's not Good for Women Either Another study shows Louisiana is at the bottom of the list when it comes to women friendly states. It points out lower median earnings, less preventive health care and fewer female-owned businesses plus high rates of women living in poverty and a high female homicide rate WalletHub put us at No. 51 (that's dead last) in Women’s Economic & Social Well-Being and two notches up in Women’s Health Care & Safety. And this news comes on a Thursday - they just ruined Ladies' Night.

Retire? I Need a Job First! Calling out factors like high crime rates and poor healthcare, Louisiana ranked as the fifth worst state for retirement (not to mention it's hot, the study says). With our economy, who has time to plan for retirement anyway?

'Copter Gas Theft Charles Boustany is accusing the Obama administration of forcing offshore refueling sites to fuel federal helicopters against their will and is calling for investigation. Look on the bright side: maybe they will have to buy more gas and this will drive up gas prices. Probably not though.

Higgins on Higgins, Gremlins are Fake Clay Higgins did a phone interview with KPEL and told his story - not just about his resignation, but about how he became Uncle Clay. From a big money business man who was a bad dad and husband to joining the police force in Opelousas. For his fans, the humbling interview is a must listen. Meanwhile, family members of the Gremlins gang are at it again. This time, they claim there is no such thing as the gang. One civil rights activist - John Barnett - claims they are being denied due process. But, who are you going to believe; the cops or Barnett, who thinks we have counties here in Louisiana?

Math is Easy when It's Fake Louisiana Voice features a guest column by an associate professor at SLU who take issue with Jeff Sadow's claim that Louisiana ranks above the national per capita for spending. Michael Kurt Corbello says that is not just fuzzy math, it is not math at all. He claims Sadow, columnist for the Advocate and a professor himself, is just making numbers up. Unethical journalists in Louisiana? Get out of here! Say, did I ever tell you about the time John Bel Edwards stole candy from my baby? Happened.

Duke Won't Go Away Dear David, please go away. Every time you try to insert yourself into national politics, we get a reminder of our stupidity. I don't care who you are endorsing. Just. Go. Away.

The Daily Distraction: An Answer to a Question You Never Asked Hey, Lafayette ain't got no sign on Interstate 10! What's up with that?

Amazon Taxes on the Moon Now is the time to buy that thing you've been Googling - you know the one that ads for keep showing up in your email and on every site you visit because you haven't changed your cookie setting. The state is looking at imposing sales taxes on internet purchases. The only bright side is that it might help local businesses compete. Tell that to me after I buy this go-kart online.

A Quarter is Top Dollar Although this Advocate piece says early voter turnout is high, it really isn't. Some 100,000 voters have already cast their votes in Louisiana. That's half as much as early voter numbers in the governor's election - which was open to include any party affiliation. Secretary of State Tom Schedler predicts that 20 to 25 percent voter turnout. While this is good for Louisiana, it is a joke. What a state we live in where we are proud of 20 to 25 percent! That's an F on any grade scale!

Exempt the Exemptions JR Ball goes after the budget again, this time railing against the money we don't collect because of exemptions. Who is to blame? Lobbyists. Yup, its always the lobbyists. That and the legislators they bend to their will like sunflowers to the sun.

Columnist: Legislature is a Cotillion of Knuckleheads Knuckleheads? Debutantes? What I like to call them has a lot less letters.

Office Space With about a $200 million gap still in the budget, John Bel Edwards is pounding the pavement for help, calling for the support he was given while running. However he is not looking for it from the state treasurer. JBE went after John Kennedy, who has been going after JBE, accusing him of wasting state money on his office when he could save by bringing his staff into state owned buildings.

Huey/Donald I was really excited when I read the headline atop this piece that said Donald Trump is as American as Huey P. Long. Could this piece tie Trump to Long, thereby turning conservative voters away from the sideshow trap buffoon vote diversion unelectable candidate that he is? There's a lots of stuff here, including an anecdote about Long and Franklin Roosevelt and a drive-by comparison between Long and Trump, but it really falls short of what I wanted. Look, Trump has no real shot in the November election. If you really want a conservative to win, pick someone who actually has a chance - anyone but Trump.

Summer School? Ain't Nobody got Money for That! LSU President F. King Alexander says that the budget scare over Tiger football is not as empty a threat as some are making it out to be. If LSU cancels summer school, he says the NCAA will make half of the football team ineligible for fall play. Somehow, this will all be Les Miles' fault.

Daily Distraction: And the Oscar doesn't go to ... Cuts! LSU students spoofed the bear attack scene in The Revenant to raise awareness about arts funding. Wait, this was shot in one take? No way!

Just Doing My Job The last contractor to publicly sign on to remove New Orleans' Confederate monuments had his Lamborghini torched. Now, the city has removed the names of potential contractors to do the job from a web site. Yeah, that's a pretty good idea. In other news: man, that city ... SMH

More Taxing for More Time The Senate - not John Bel Edwards - changed the 1 cent sales tax hike from an 18-month fix to one with a five-year lifespan. Just making sure you know who you are going to pelt with rotten fruit.

Trump Ducks Duke Donald Trump blames a very bad ear piece for dodging a question about David Duke's support for his campaign. Trump said he didn't know anything about Duke when asked about him on CNN's "State of the Union." (Meanwhile, experts say he will take Louisiana in our primary. Great!) Bad ear piece? What about that terrible hair piece? Who do you blame for that?

What's Healthcare without Art? Dead Pelican breaks out of its role as news aggregator to news maker - reporting that last year Jay Dardenne - then our lieutenant governor - spent $1.1 million on sculptures for the new Charity Hospital in New Orleans. Jay, there's a lot better ways to spend 7 figures on Charity Hospital. Like, I don't know, services?

Kennedy vs. The Governors John Kennedy is just a pain. This piece looks at how the treasurer has often butted heads with governors. Could this have something to do with all the failed runs he has made for Senate? In his defense, at least he is a bi-partisan pain.

Don't Tase the Messenger Louisiana Voice's Tom Aswell appears to be the topic of a letter sent out by the Louisiana State Troopers Association. It accuses him of a lack of ethics. In response, Aswell puts together 15 points to make about the scandals plaguing LSTA and how it is not his doing, including the hiring of Senate President John Alario's wife and son. Tom, that's great but just didn't get pulled over.

Prediction: Crime won't be Stopped The Cajun John Wayne is no more. Capt. Clay Higgins has resigned from his job with the St. Landry Parish Sheriff's Department. But, chances are you will see him down the road. Let's face it - people love Higgins. (except for criminals and their families). (Oh, excuse me, alleged criminals.) Someone is going to cash in on that. Has Donald Trump selected a running mate yet?

The Daily Distraction: Saw it on the InterWeb, Must be True I heard Paul Simon and Sting might show up too. Tickets are $100 a day and available here.

Not so Swift Don't think Bobby Jindal failed us? You should read this about a project for IndyCar that Jindal thought would bring $100 million into the state. (if you already know how badly he screwed us, don't read it: you may not be able to handle it.) He put tax payer money into it and guess what? It was a bust. Further damning, during the process of funding it, funds for the developmentally disabled were cut so we could make the track a reality. Even worse, it drops this bombshell: "Every year, the state gives away millions of dollars of money just like this to events, projects with little analysis." Yes, we have a spending problem. Now, we have a tax to fix it. Want to fix it both? Vote them out.

Taxes by the Numbers Here's a breakdown to the taxes that were passed through the House last week. There's also link to who voted for and against them - in case you are sharpening your pitchfork. Also, here's a piece that says it wont be enough. Keep grinding, guys.

Cuba to the Rescue, Mane If the US ends our embargo with Cuba, it would be a boost to Louisiana's economy. According to this piece, the port of New Orleans used to be the number one port for doing business with the land of grilled and pressed sandwiches. Opening up our trade could impact our economy via more agricultural and petrochemical exports and increased tourism. Don't tell Obama. He might just shut this down as it would only benefit us.

Kennedy: Give us a Chance In the wake of Moody's Investors Service's credit downgrade to the state of Louisiana - not just the eight universities but the state, which impacts us when we borrow money - Treasurer John Kennedy has some interesting comments. Kennedy said he was assured the agency would give the state and new governor a chance and not move our rating for a few years. Really? Cause that's what you have done in John Bel Edwards' two months in office, right? You have given him and our fix to the budget a chance? Get your talking points straight. For a look at the implications of the downgrade, check out this Advocate piece.

JBE on Jindal On Saturday, John Bel Edwards called Bobby Jindal the most irresponsible governor to ever serve - or dis-serve - Louisiana. If you know your history, that's a rather profound statement. Somewhere, Richard Leche must be smiling.

Watson on Race Saints Tight End Ben Watson was interviewed by The Source - if you don't know what The Source is, congrats: you are white - about his book and some of the things he has said on social media about race relations. He drops science like this, (in regards to things like Ferguson, Missouri) " ... whenever these things happen, people get broken down into a Black side and a White side, always drawing a line down the middle and it’s not always that simple."This guy is good. Not just for this team or the city but the country. Read this.

Tom's Good Hey, Tom Benson's all right! He can run the Saints and the Pelicans! Kinda makes your grandpa who can't work the remote look bad, eh?

Build a Vitter Wall David Vitter is still in office, y'all. And he wants people who send money out of the country to prove they are citizens or pay a fee, which would be used to finance border security. Has Donald Trump selected a running mate yet?

There's No Hope in Dope People are talking about the possibility of marijuana being legalized in Louisiana. Whether or not that will happen is one thing, but this column says even if it dd make it into law soon, it wouldn't come in time to close this year's budget hole. I guess we should have know: people who smoke the ganja aren't known for being on time.

Watch Out, Tim! According to The Hayride, John Bel Edwards is partaking in emotional terrorism who is out to steal Tiny Tim's wheelchair.

A Good Cut? Um, what happened to public education being off the table for cuts? Oh wait, these $44 million in cuts to public education would be used to plug holes in TOPS and possibly cripple the state's ability to give Common Core tests and force high school Juniors to take the ACT. So ... errrybody wins?

Folks Here Love Their Booze I don't know what makes me feel older: liking something Walt Handelsman did or knowing the 1960s song he parodied in this cartoon. Either way, the Advocate's cartoonist revamps "Me And Bobby McGee" to be "Busted Flat in Baton Rouge."

Daily Distraction: Apple of my FBI The national daily distraction involving the Apple vs FBI hits home as CBS looks at a Louisiana case where a pregnant woman was murdered and her locked smart phone might hold clues. This one is a toughie, or maybe not - the privacy of a dead woman vs catching her killer. If something ever happens to me, please feel free to hack my phone. You won't find much other than about 600 pics of my kids, notes that might mean something only to me and the dimensions for my air conditioner filter. Better yet, no, don't open it. This is one issue that seems to unite Liberals and Conservatives. Let us rejoice in this one moment of unity ans use it to distract ourselves from all that we should be thinking about.

Stripperella to the Rescue Last week, Pamela Anderson suggested Louisiana's prisons go vegan, a move she says would save the state some $620,000 a year. Arizona did the same and Anderson goes to the prisons to cook for inmates. She says she would do the same here (I'm sure the prisoners would have liked that like, say, 20 years ago). While the state's correction department says no thanks - prisoners were ticked when we took away their cigarettes, let's not make it worse by removing meat - they should reconsider. Think about how much of a crime deterrent this would be: if you go to prison you have to be a vegan!

Let's Get Ready to Rumble John Bel Edwards accused John Kennedy of using our budget issues as a way to further his Senate campaign, or, as the Advocate puts it, Edwards is "ratcheting up" their feud. Uhm, you just noticed this JBE? You might as well enter the race because John Kennedy is running against you even though you aren't even running. Looks like we know who is going to main event Wrestlemania.

8 Down Bad news: eight Louisiana universities were placed on Moody’s Investors Service watch liat for credit downgrades because of higher education cuts. Good News: it was only eight. Good News to Us: UL Lafayette was not on the list.

Smoke that Budget This will fix the budget. Legalize the herb, tax it and they will smoke it. We are talking serious green, son. N alienz cos they invnted earth bruh ...

Jindal Still Stunk Remember how Bobby Jindal gave all those tax breaks in the name of attracting business to our state? And how he said it would all pay dividends in end? Yeah, that was wrong. A survey by 24/7 Wall St. puts Louisiana as the second-worst state in the nation for business. So, like that kid who tries to hard to be your friend, we may be business friendly but apparently no one wants to be friends with us. (On the other hand, this guest editorial says our tax incentives have brought us business.)

Boss to Higgins: Chill The flap up about Capt. Clay Higgins' Gremlins video continues as Sheriff Bobby Guidroz has asked Higgins to tone it down. Sheriff, you don't cuddle with Higgins - you strap yourself in and feel the Gs!

Gone to Texas Meanwhile, JR Ball says let's be like Texas - property taxes should be raised instead of sales taxes. Uhm, you talking about my lot and a half, man?

Normand's Big Speech Sheriff Newell Normand may have just started his bid for governor. The Republican ripped Bobby Jindal to pieces, calling him a better cult leader than Jim Jones. Normand takes on the Republicans who blame John Bel Edwards - one month and half into office - for our mess and whine about Obama. He notes the problems we will now face because leaders have pledged to not raise taxes and says to hell with Grover Norquist. Lamar White posts his entire speech. It is a great read.

A Taxing Vote While everyone was running for cover from Tuesday's storm, Louisiana's Ways and Means Committee sent 31 bills to the House for a vote. Today, that vote will happen. This could be the crucial moment in our budget crisis. Will taxophobic Republicans balk on passing new taxes or will they bite the bullet to ensure there is a state in which to seek reelection? This piece gives a rundown on the issues that were forwarded - pointing out which ones the committee saw as favorable and which ones they saw as unfavorable. Here's another thing that makes today important: this Advocate piece estimates that the special session is going to cost us $1 million. If it doesn't work, there will be more sessions and bills (and deeper cuts and more taxes?). Do it right the first time and there never has to be a second.

The Daily Distraction: No and NO! The Daily Distraction: No and NO! This blog looks at who was the bigger bust: Brandon Browner or Jairus Byrd. Surprisingly, it picks Byrd. Yeah, he had injury issues that stopped us from getting the most out of him but who hurt us more on the field? Meanwhile, news is breaking that the Saints will part ways with Marques Colston.

The Lens on TOPS A writer for The Lens notes that the recent scare concerning TOPS makes middle class folks feel what it is like to be from a low income family (in New Orleans). And, the given the earning power of college graduates, (especially when it comes to low income students) it is akin to de-funding primary schools. In Other words, It's really bad.

Sheriffs' Road to RIches Louisiana Voice continues to fight the good fight against the leadership at the Louisiana State Police. Tom Aswell says sheriffs' relatives are hired as investigators, where they are paid more than troopers with more experience and given promotions and raises faster than non-connected troopers. One sheriff's son got about $8,000 in raises in his first year. Aswell says it might be the reason Louisiana Sheriff’s Association supports Col. Mike Edmonson, LSP's commander. Cronyism in Louisiana? Nah. Couldn't be.

We Don't Vote, Early nor Often Early voter turnout reports are showing that people aren't getting it over with before the big day. And, we have hired extra workers for this. Here's a thought - make all voting early voting. It would probably save us a few bucks and it's not like we actually vote anyway.

This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: Volume 2,789 You know what's a great idea during the times of a budget crisis? Paying a guy to not work while replacing him and paying his replacement. That's what we will do as Burl Cain steps away from Angola. True, it is nothing illegal but it is a practice that needs to be stopped. How this practice has continued for as long as it has is why he have problems with money in this state.

JBE should have picked Nancy The Hayride says to get what he wanted in terms of schools, John Bel Edwards should have gone with a Republican for speaker of the House. It argues he should have backed Lafayette's own Nancy Landry. Stepping across party lines is great, but I have a feeling that no matter what JBE would have done, The Hayride would have pooh-poohed it.

Daily Distraction: Undies Run Participants (or partici-no-pants) in Cupid's Undie Run raised $28,000 for the Children's Tumor Foundation, dedicated to ending Neuro Fibromatosis, by having a one mile run through New Orleans in their underwear. Don't worry: this story is totally SFW.(and like 95 percent not people you want to see in their drawers). Maybe we can have 32,000 more of this to solve the budget problems. That's a whole lotta drawers.

Gremlins Part Three: Justice for Everyone After seeing the video about the Gremlins street gang, the accused criminals' mamas and grandmas went to KATC complaining about how Capt. Clay Higgins said he would return fire on them if they raised a weapon against him. They also say they will write a letter to the Justice Department about it. Thanks, Granny, you just ruined our street cred! Now we are going to have to change our names to The Critters.

Movie Mania Movie Mania Ugh. One lawmaker wants metal detectors mandatory at movie theaters (why not make them mandatory everywhere while you are at it?). A man in a coat caused a stampede at The Grand (not the site of the shooting) by pacing and muttering to himself during a showing of Deadpool (maybe he was upset by the laziness of breaking the fourth wall). Vigilance is great and all, but hysteria and paranoia are the first steps to a police state. Oh wait, the first step is actually having Donald Trump as a top contender for preidency. He's got a campaign office opening across from the other Grand, y'all.

Bible Talk Probably the only thing making Bobby Jindal smile right now is that one freshman senator brought the Bible into the budget crisis and prayed for Jesus' help in the mess. That smile probably turned upside down when Rep. Beryl Amedee chastised the lawmakers for the bad job they did putting us in this mess. That kind of talk makes baby Bobby cry in his manger.

He Said, He Said, We Said John Bel Edwards: "Hurry up, Rumpelstiltskin, and spin that hay into gold!" House Speaker Taylor Barras: "Be patient! It takes time to fix the problems we made for ourselves!" Us: Don't come out of your holes again until you have this fixed!

Bloomberg on Bell Bloomberg Business looks at John Bel Edwards' threat of no LSU football in the fall with a good bit of depth into the budget crisis, examining bonds, credit ratings, oil prices and the like. We all know we are in a mess, but this is the most economically intensive look at what caused it.

GoFundMe vs. JustGoAway That GoFundMe effort to pay off the budget gained a little credibility as one legislator proposed a bill that would allow such donations. So far, it has only raised $590 out of the 900 million we need. To put things into a sad perspective, the GoFundMe for Kanye West's $53 million debt has earned more than $7,000. However, unlike the state - which apparently will now take crowd funding money - West says he won't touch the money. So, Louisiana 0, West: 1. Just shoot me.

Don't Save SAVE Stephanie Grace says SAVE is dying and no one will care. What did it do again? Oh, yeah, it was a bullet point on Bobby Jindal's presidential resume. Hmmmm, so it was worth less than the nonexistent paper on which it wasn't printed? Yeah, die a quick death please.

CSI: Baton Rouge Gambit and James Carville weigh in on the budget crisis. How do they feel about the legislators who put us where we are? Here's a hint: they say we should wrap the capitol in crime scene tape.

Pennsylvania State of Mind Jeff Sadow calls out John Bel Edwards as taking political hostages in the budget crisis.Meanwhile, a Pennsylvania paper says their governor should come out blazing and being blunt about cuts and hikes to fix their budget woes.

It's Gone too Far In the face of budget cuts, one Louisiana couple looks to divorce so they could get better coverage for their child with a severe disability. How's that family values thing working out for you, Bobby Jindal?

Hebert Flunks History Louisiana Voice points out that Troy Hebert didn't do so hot in 8th Grade Social Studies. On a radio show, Hebert - running for David Vitter's senate seat - says Huey P. Long invented our civil service system. No. Just no. Civil service was created and expanded by later governors in response to the jobs Long gave to his supporters and cronies. Next, please tell us about the time Edwin Edwards only served one term as governor.

Season's Open Capt. Clay Higgins has a lot of fans but the ACLU is not one of them. After Higgins' latest Crime Stoppers video - the one where he dons full battle gear and a gun that would make Charlton Heston blush - the executive director is taking issue with Higgins' statement that he will hunt down the Gremlins - that street gang out of Abbeville that now appears to be moving into St. Landry but only because someone fed them after midnight. Marjorie Esman of the ACLU says we don't hunt people in this country. Really? You don't catch Dog: The Bounty Hunter in your ivory tower, lady? He's not hunting them for sport, he's hunting them because St. Landry is the wilderness. This is Clay Higgins - he says ma'am and sir and he keeps planets in orbit, son. If the Gremlins - like the one Higgins says he could dumbbell press (that's with one hand, folks) - are smart, they won't make Higgins hunt them ... they'll turn themselves in to authorities. However, one former Gremlin - Gizmo, who helped start the gang - says Higgins has it all wrong - they have gone straight.

Gun Series The Times-Picayune also started a series on how guns make it into the hands of criminals in New Orleans. This installment looks at three stolen guns that became weapons in three separate crimes. It's a good read that begs the goes after the often ignored variable in the gun control argument: stolen guns. Though they only account for 10 to 15 percent of guns used in crimes, the role they play can't be ignored.

Incoming, Outgoing The TImes-Picayune started a five part series by looking at potential changes to the state's income tax structuring. It's a thorough piece that breaks down the ups and downs of changing the system, written in common sense language that doesn't require a translation from someone fluent in 1040-ese. Still, it is hard to say at this point whether or not your refund check will shrink.

Daily Distraction: Taylor Swift The Hayride has "Bad Blood" with Taylor Swift's actions at the Grammys, saying something or another about how she cheered for other people when they won an award. It argues that her behavior is why sexism "Never Goes Out of Style." The blog goes on and on and on, dissecting it in excruciating detail, like a look back at a bad break-up that makes you say "We are Never Getting Back Together." I tried to read it and get to what he was talking about, but frankly crazy makes my head hurt. Why does he have to be so "Mean?" He makes as much sense as someone who is "15." I'm sure Swift will be able to take this criticism in stride and "Shake it Off."

Not Fade Away The Native Americans of Isle de Jean Charles - subject of Pudd Sharp's Water on The Road - recently became the first community of official climate refugees in the nation. The Biloxi-Chitimacha-Choctaw residents have been living on what used to be a 22,000 acre island for generations. Now, at only 320 acres because of coastal erosion, it can not accommodate them. They will resettle with federal help. Wow, so the federal government is aware that Louisiana is fading away? Are you sure?

Distracted Governing Bayou Buzz pulled no punches when it asserted that Bobby Jindal raped Louisiana and John Bel Edwards - oddly identified here as Jon - is getting thanked for it via recall petitions. I'll take another metaphor: Jindal wrecked your car. Totaled it. Distracted driving and such. Edwards is the repair man. You don't like his bill but you are OK with the guy who crashed it. Sure, it isn't pleasant but this is what happens when you run for president while driving in rush hour traffic. Don't you wish we had insurance?

Butt Hurt Much? This is great. Opponents (including a lawmaker who owns convenience stores) of the cigarette tax - which would raise the taxes on cigarettes by 22 cents a pack - says it is unfair to smokers and might make them cross state lines to buy smokes in Mississippi, where the taxes are lower. Really? You would go into Mississippi for 22 cents? That's a sign you have more problems that smoking. On second thought, I guess gas is pretty cheap these days …

TOPS Beginning to End The Times-Picayune has a double whammy on TOPS. First, there’s a great look back at the even greater man who started the program to reach kids so many had forgotten about. From diamond jewelry to arriving in a helicopter, Patrick Taylor wanted to grab kids’ attention so they could see it was possible to be successful just like him. The piece follows the plan from its initial 183 students to what it is today: the tuition lifeblood of perhaps too many college students. Why too many? The Times-Pic also posted a fun web doohickey that allows you to look up TOPS recipient percentages by school. Looking at it for a few local schools, the numbers were in the 50-60 percent range. Perhaps this is why the program requires so much dough: it might just be too easy to get. Do 60 percent of the kids you know in high school deserve a scholarship? Better yet, do students with a C average deserve a free ride? Sorry, no.

People who Live in Glass Capitols Louisiana Voice says lawmakers who are upset over the squawking done by higher education officials might want to keep quiet. here Tom Aswell notes that one senator making the loudest noise - Sen. Conrad Appel - profited from what amounts to insider trading. Others have used campaign funds to buy LSU tickets - about $710,000 worth of seats - despite it being unethical. Great job, guys. You sure are making us proud. Tell us again how we should be quiet about being critical about the mess in which you have put us!

The Daily Distraction It's bleak times. In effort to do what media is supposed to do - oh look something about pandas - every day you will see a story here that is just that: a distraction. Some days, it will have ties to this great state, some days it will be - oh, look kitties - bull crap. Today, it's this: here are two lists that Drew Brees will not see himself on - the most overrated Saint list and players cut by the Saints. The Saints are expected to reach a contract extension with Brees. Meanwhile, one of those lists of the most ____ players of all time featured the most over-rated player in the history of each team. Who was it for the Saints? Not telling you, but here's a hint: he used to hold a Heisman Trophy and a Kardashian. USED TO.

1-2-3, Recall JBE Thanks, Hayride, for this handy three-step process to recalling John Bel Edwards. Only one problem: you are a few years too late on your effort.

De-committed to Higher Ed How bad are the looming cuts? So bad a high school student can tell you that the future of higher education is on shaky ground in Louisiana. Johnathan Jones, a wide receiver out of Evangel who comitted to Louisiana Tech, has now de-committed citing the recent budget cuts colleges are looking at making. Well, why else would he not want to go to Tech? It's soooo much fun. All kidding aside, could this be a harbinger for problems in schools across the state? Will the top-rated recruiting class at LSU suffer because of this? That's what's important in this state, right. LSU football? Maybe somebody should fix this mess.

Go Fund Us Not to brag, but I actually had this idea the other day. Someone has started a Go Fund Me page for Louisiana's budget crisis. It's sad that it came to this, but it is even sadder that it is some $899 million from its goal. So, we are struggling but these freeloaders got paid? (At current, the same amoutn that has been raised for us has been raised to save someone's relationship. Let that sink in for a minute.)

Bad Math pt.2 Speaking of bad math, turn out the state misused, misspent, misappropriated or is missing millions of dollars. (That's more misses than a polygamist sect.) I'm sure someone is going to pay for this. Here's a hint: it's you and me!

Bad Muthafracking Math John Kennedy is wrong in his assertion that our problem is wasteful spending, asserts Lamar White, Jr. Here, White caught Kennedy in some of his numbers. White points out that some of the issues Kennedy made hay over was actually uncollected fracking revenues. Nice catch! Now, can you do my taxes?

JK tops JBE in Poll A new poll is out and it is not good news for John Bel Edwards, yet it is not as bad as it could be. Out of those polled, 34.2 percent gave him a favorable rating, while 44.8 percent gave him an unfavorable rating (21 percent said IDK). These numbers aren't good but a week after the TOPS/Tiger football bombshell, they are great. John Kennedy on the other hand, took a 48 percent favorable rating, putting him at the top of the Senate race. It's not clear if the 21 percent who said IDK thought he was JFK.

Last Gas Grasp Apparently, Saudi Arabia and Russia have more sympathy for us than our president. According to reports, the two oil producers have agreed to freeze their output. This will help stabilize the oil industry. Unfortunately, it will not pick up prices at this time. For that to happen, the oil supply must drop. I guess this gives you another reason - other than low prices - to top off the tank. Keep on driving us back to the black, America!

More Budget SNAFUs Just make it stop already! Bobby Jindal's administration used some fuzzy accounting and payment plans to keep the budget can kicked down the road. Not to mix metaphors, but the chickens have come home to roost and they aren't laying eggs. This debacle pushes our budget situation up another $231 million. Oh, and if that is not enough, FEMA is now saying it will not be sending us $17 million for reimbursements we spent during Hurricane Gustav. That money pushes up the deficit again. Sometimes, I feel like this show called Louisiana is in its last season and the writers are just piling on the cliffhangers and disasters to shake us up and get ratings.

Just Be Quiet and We Won't Do Our Jobs Here's a case of who are you going to believe - higher education officials or the legislators that put us in this mess? Two senators - Conrad Appel, R-Metarie, and Mike Walsworth, R-West Monroe - lashed out at higher education officials for reacting to the budget cuts in a way that they say dominates the news cycle. They shrugged it off, noting it was only day one of the special session. Officials from Nicholls have said maybe - just maybe - the schools will have to shut down for two weeks in light of the cuts. These two legislators have a point: we should just trust in them and have faith they will work this all out. Hmmm, isn't that how we got in this mess? Here's a clue you don't even have to buy: stop worrying about the news cycle and do your job!

Sweet ... Caroline In slightly distracting news, Caroline Fayard is the first "major" Democrat to announce a run for David Vitter's Senate seat. Yeah, not distracting enough.

How many steaks can JBE Eat? Bayou Buzz uses an analogy involving eating two steaks to dissect the commercial calling John Bel Edwards a liar. Uhm, who told you we could afford two steaks? This state is on a Manwich Meal diet.

AdBusted After the Louisiana Republican party created a commercial urging against John Bel Edwards raising taxes - citing campaign trail promises - Lamar White, Jr. is calling them suicide bombers. They - he says - are willing to blow up the state in exchange for the dogma of "No new taxes!". The commercial is interesting: they do realize he is in office and won't be up for reelection for four years, right? And, if anything, his tax hikes guarantee him being a one-term governor. Seriously, stop making home movies and do your job!

Just Fade Away, Fade Away I guess this is what we get for making fun of Obama's Baton Rouge/New Orleans gaffe. The president is urging a repeal of the Gulf of Mexico Energy Security Act that would give Louisiana the bulk of $500 million in coastal funds generated from offshore drilling. According to this Advocate piece, the White House says it should be repealed because it is “unnecessary and costly” and only benefits a “handful of states.” Wow. The budget is a disaster, our coast is fading and now our aid is "unnecessary." Thanks, Obama, you are the best.

JR on JBE Would the real John Bel Edwards please stand up? JR Ball argues that JBE has an honesty problem. But, even he admits that tax hikes are the only way out (coupled with cuts). However, he calls out JBE on what he sees as taxes with no end date, saying that he wanted to up taxes - and keep them up - before getting elected - you know, just for the giggles of it. He also asserts that JBE is not really in love with cutting spending. Edwards, however, is trying to convince you otherwise. Look, I am not one to stand up for politicians. They lie, they cheat, they steal. It's in the rule book. And, I am pretty ticked about the whole raising salaries deal. But, what sane person would come into office looking to hike taxes and cut spending (TOPS of all things, the one programs conservatives love)? Is this is the case - keeping taxes up after our situation is repaired - JBE doesn't need to bother changing his address: he's heading back to Amite in four years.

Anyone But Roman Budget woes aren't just for the legislature. The offseason will be about cutting and capping as the Saints try to stay under the league's salary cap and repair our broken team. This blog says free agent Roman Harper (recently cut from the Panthers) could come back to the saints. Um, no. Just no. Meanwhile, a part of the salary cap problem is in dead money. This post looks at the players we no longer have but have to pay.

LW2 4 JBE Before, you could have argued that Lamar White, Jr. wasn’t necessarily a fan of John Bel Edwards. He was, however, decidedly anti-David Vitter. Now, he’s praising Edwards on his own merits, particularly his Sunday speech about the special session to fix the budget. He’s definitely not in John Kennedy’s camp, as he blasts Kennedy’s cut-the-budget plan as not enough and one that uses old figures. Maybe a selfie is in orde

Forget Jindal Louisiana Voice is totally over Bobby Jindal (yeah, not really) and has moved on (but, not really) to blaming those legislators who signed a tax pledge. He’s also calling to remove Taylor Barras and demote Cameron Henry to the kiddie table (yeah, really).

A Bright LITE It's not all bad news today, as the Advocate reports that technology jobs are giving a boost to the economy in Lafayette as the oil and gas jobs fizzle. In the long run, we could see more than a thousand jobs created here. But, who is going to fill them if TOPS goes ka-put?

TOP 28 Will TOPS survive this budget crisis? Hopefully, the answer is yes. If it does, it will likely undergo changes. Currently, students can maintain a C average and make a 20 on the ACT and get funded. That's too low. C grades are - by definition - average. Now, by allowing average students to get TOPS funding, we have sacrificed funding for the ones who deserve it. Next year, students may need to score a 28 for TOPS. Look TOPS is great, college is good. But both aren't for everyone - no matter what Bernie Sanders says. Trim TOPS to ensure it will continue. We need this for our future. If you don't qualify, there are other ways to pay for college. It involves planning and now.

#omgitsleges #louisianalegislators were sent #valentines via #twitter during the #specialsession. Some offered #praise for @John_Bel_Edwards and scorn for @Bobby_Jindal in the form of #poems. My #favoritetwitter handle is @JohnJelEdwards who says he got pumped up for the session by #biting the head off a live #nutria and listening to @Dr. _John. He also offers a how-to guide for making a @John_Kennedy doll using a dried up apple. #cantmakethisstuffup #justdoenmyjob #hashtag #

Last Year's News, Today's Headlines Just in case you forgot, here is Mile Marker 1 in this road of woe.

Poke the Tiger When John Bel Edwards dropped the nuclear bomb of all bombshells - even if it was a Chicken Little moment - that LSU football might not happen next year, you knew there would be a reaction. Here's a couple fan quotes. These are actually the tamest you could have gotten. The fine folks over at Tiger Droppings aren't as kind, even banging the Recall Drum (and offering one of the Evil Twins to lead the effort)

Strategy? The Times-Picayune looks at the budget crisis and the Public Affairs Research Council's strategy to stabilize it. It's a good look at the report's highlights. How about we forward it to every one "working" at the Capitol?

Here, Start Here Can I get a second on this proposal to fix the budget? How about we take it a step further - elected officials should forgo their pay until this is fixed. Don't want to work for free to fix the mess you have made? That's fine, I am sure there are plenty of folks willing to step up and fill your spot.

No Taxes? Here's What You Got. John Bel Edwards has a plan that makes cuts without raising taxes. But, those are some deep cuts. Here's a more detailed look.

The Republican Response When John Bel Edwards spoke Thursday night, the only winners were the Republicans. The sound you heard after the speech was the 2019 election being called for a Republican candidate. Don't like it, JBE, you have four years to fix things and serve a second term.

So, What's Up? t this long without hearing about John Bel Edwards' speech or the TOPS fiasco, thank you for journeying into another galaxy to save us from the blight Matthew McConaughey. It's all I heard about no matter where I was, what I was doing or who I was with this weekend. Louisiana Politics has the highlights and screenshots. Stephanie Grace says it was scary. Lamar White, Jr. called it a Jindal Hangover. Before he even spoke, The Hayride called for his recall. Louisiana Voice says not so fast, it is Bobby Jindal you need to attack. When he said LSU football may get the ax, even Mississippi State felt sorry for us.

Not that kind of Party If you are one of the folks who were ticked off by Beyoncé's Black Panther themed Super Bowl performance - did you catch that? - you aren't alone. But, here on the other side, an African American/New Orleans native takes issue with Queen Bey's video for "Formation," saying she is appropriating New Orleans' suffering for her own gain. Can't say that I saw her on the Super Bowl - the halftime always reminds me to take out the garbage.

Einstein in Livingston When you think of Livingston Parish, surely you think of science, right? Einstein's gravitational wave theory must come to mind when reflecting on that stronghold of intelligence that contains Denham Springs, Walker, Springfield and the like. No? Think again, as a facility there - in conjunction with one in Washington - has proven the existence of gravitational waves. What does this mean? Other than being cool enough to get a Twittter shout-out from Stephen Hawking, we are not really sure. Something about space-time and the like. It's all very scientific and above our pay grade.

Hebert's Looking the Other Way When David Vitter lost the election and announced he wouldn't run for re-election and Bobby Jindal dropped out of the president's race, it looked like there wouldn't be much to fill these pages. Then, along came Troy Hebert and his bid for Vitter's senate seat. Here, Louisiana Voice reports about Hebert investigating - or not investigating thoroughly - a bar after one of its patrons caused a fatal accident. The accusation? He turned a blind eye because he is tight with its owner. Thank you, Mr. Hebert. We look forward to your next move.

Seems a Little High How well did Bobby Jindal do in the New Hampshire presidential primary? Considering he was no longer running, pretty bad. With 50 votes, he tied with a guy we never heard of - Tim Cook, who shares the name of the CEO of Apple. He has the same name! Yeah, this is a stretch of a piece. Being that Jindal spent $1.4 million on his race, that comes out to $28,000 per vote. Well spent!

What a Pickle! Does Louisiana matter in the presidential primary? This editorial says it matters just as much as that pickle on the side of a roast beef sandwich. Sure, it is going to be consumed, but would you even mind if it were left off? If you think that it doesn't matter, you are right. We don't. Who cares, though? Well, you should as the only way to fix our problems - an eroding shoreline, a withering oil economy - is to matter in the 2016 election. Demand the pickle!

The Running Man From running from the cops to running for gold, the New Yorker profiles a Lafayette Olympic hopeful who used to sling crack on these here streets. Kinda makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.

Confidence Level: Zip For once, I feel Louisiana's people are well informed.

Proud of a D There's good news and bad news. It sure sounds bad that Louisiana's education system scored a D on a recent report. But, it's not too bad as no state scored higher than a C and we were among 30 to score next to failing. So ... way to go?

Be Our Guest, Put Our Seafood to the Test With Donald Trump in the state, you know he will likely sample the local cuisine. Irony alert: that seafood he's going to eat was probably processed by guest workers - the immigrants Trump is campaigning against.

Wake Me When It's Over Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. You know that $750 million budget hole we have? We don't have it anymore. We have an $870 million budget hole.

Trump Train Runs into Louisiana Donald Trump will be in Baton Rouge today, speaking at a 10,000-seat arena. Prediction: it will fill up.

Not Bowled Over In case you just woke up from a Mardi Gras debauchery hangover and/or a king cake induced coma, there was a football game on Sunday (or maybe you just watched the uneventful contest and blacked out). It pitted Louisiana's own Peyton Manning - who is apparently either an alcoholic or owns Budweiser distributors - against Cam Newton. It wasn't their game at all. Instead, the win belonged to Denver's defense. However, Newton did some antics that earned him scorn and discontent and some great memes. Some media and social media pundits claim it was racist that he was criticized. Nope, we just don't like Cam. Why not? A) He is a division rival. B) He celebrates every minute accomplishment he makes. Not only that, he does it by doing juvenile dances that are popular among juveniles. That's fine for the wide receivers, running backs, defense backs, etc., but you are the quarterback. You are supposed to be cool. Act like you have been there before. Be a leader. Seriously? Have you ever seen another QB act like this? No, they are on the sidelines planning the next drive. Normally, I'd say ignore Cam and he will go away. That would be a lie. We are stuck seeing this guy - whether dabbing when he makes a two-yard gain or throwing a tantrum when he loses - at least twice a year in divisional play. Maybe he will pull a Marshawn Lynch and get out early. We can always hope for next year, right?

Spanish Town Ugliness Last week, it was Rebel Flag beads. This week it is the Spanish Town Mardi Gras. Known for its controversy, the Baton Rouge parade took it to another level this year, using the names of two black men killed by police as fodder. Sure, the parade isn't for everyone, but there is a line. You crossed it.

Saints Make Cuts! Good news, guys! Looks like Brandon Browner is soon to be an ex-Saint. Browner hinted to his release on Friday but the Saints have not made anything official. Thanks for the memories! Go set penalty records elsewhere. Maybe with the Panthers. We could use a boost when we see them next year. In related news, he is not the only Saint to get his walking papers. If one Saints fan has his way, it is just a good start.

Compromises the Key to Hikes? Could the only way John Bel Edwards get a sales tax hike be by agreeing to turn into Bobby Jindal down the road? Or, do you have the key to the whole mess?

To John, From Jeff At first, our Republican Attorney General Jeff Landry and our Democrat Governor John Bel Edwards looked like they would be able to work together. Now, not even a month later, that bridge is crumbling. Edwards said he doesn't think the state should continue a lawsuit over Common Core, but Landry didn't see it that way. JBE claimed the case was a bit of political posturing on Bobby Jindal's part (Jindal filed the suit) and says it might be the same thing from Landry. Now, it has gotten petty: both men referring to each other by their first names instead of their respective titles. Ouch. It might just turn into an Alexandria Mardi Gras up in here.

New White Details New details have been released in the shooting death of Victor White III. Video shows White in handcuffs and capable of moving. Deputies say he remarked that he didn't want to go to jail and to tell his family he loves them. His brother says he was carrying a gun that matched the one that killed him. His family, however, is not buying it and says they will continue to seek justice.

Beat Iowa If there is something to be upset about regarding an election, Jim Brown will be there. This time, he's pointing out how useless our presidential primary is and how valuable it could have been had we gotten it in before Iowa's. He estimates big checks could have poured into the state and even gives candidates some stopping/stumping points. (Donald Trump at the Hi-Ho, that's gold. Never picked him for the sauce on a bun type, though.) Instead, we have to settle for not mattering at all in the presidential elections. Oh well, I guess we should be used to it by now.

A Permanent Home for the Super Bowl This is a good idea. Really. Not only would it work for anyone attending the game but can you imagine the boon to our economy? This USA Today column - for the FTW! section (I will let you Google what FTW means) - argues that all Super Bowls should be held in NOLA - and even offers reasons why. This guy, I like. Next time you come to the city, we party. I know a place.

The Future of Medicaid The Business Report examines the potential outcome of the changes in Louisiana's Medicaid program. Spoiler alert: it's not sunshine and cupcakes, but doctor shortages.

Un-Common Core Could changes to Common Core be on the way? If the Louisiana Student Standards Steering Committee has its way, the state's curriculum will be in for a makeover. The 26-member committee - made up of parents, teachers and the public - voted to revise Common Core standards. Now, it has a ways to go but that roar you just heard was the sound of students and parents alike celebrating what could be the beginning of the end.

Ziggy Pig John Bel Edwards is saying he won't cut public schools - K-12 - to offset our budget issues. Really? How could you cut something that has nothing to cut? Oh wait, I know of some state education officials whose pay you could reduce or eliminate. Ok, that's fine. But here's the really rocking thing about this piece: in the comments, someone pointed out how much Jay Dardenne looks likes Napoleon Bonaparte. Yeah, it is there, but he REALLY looks like the guy who played Bonaparte in the epic masterpiece, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Cake Beats Oil Just how low is the price of oil? KPEL lists five things you can buy that will cost more than a barrel of oil. And, it's not diamond rings and caviar dreams. This is basic stuff - like king cakes. Seriously, a barrel of oil costs less than a king cake. Not even a boudin king cake or a king cake made with diamond sprinkles. A frickin' king cake. Guess we know what laid-off oilfield workers will be eating to bury their sorrow.

Big Brain on Dardenne After folks howled about John Bel Edwards' staffers' paychecks, Jay Dardenne - JBE's top guy - says he will cut some staff pay. Dardenne, if your pay is among them, we salute you. If not, don't eat any food gifts from your staff. Just sayin'.

BR up, Laffy Down According to this report, Lafayette lost 5,000 jobs last year while Baton Rouge gained 8,800. In the mining and logging sector - which includes oil and gas - we lost 2,800 or 12 percent. Professional and business services dropped 2,100 jobs or 9 percent. All right, everybody with a job stand up. Not so fast, Jimmy.

Mary's Kid ain't Kidding Around Some people shouldn't have kids. And by that, I mean Mary Landrieu. Her son - Frank Conner Snellings - was arrested after his 2-year-old son was found with bruises and scratches on him. The two had been to a birthday party. When Snellings returned the boy to his mother, the tot was shirtless, bruised and scratched; Snellings appeared to be drunk. (Must have been quite a party!) We already know Mary knows how to get down.

Sweet! Not. Cuts to higher education are going to hurt students, no doubt. This Advocate piece looks at another victim you might not have seen coming: Louisiana sugar cane farmers. The LSU AgCenter helps farmers because there is no for-profit agency developing seeds for the crop. If the AgCenter takes a hit, it could be bad business for the farmers who are already suffering from a rough year. Edwards - speaking to a group of farmers at the American Sugar Cane League conference in Lafayette - said, “The state of Louisiana is in one of the toughest spots it’s ever been in. There is no sugarcoating it.” It's nice to see Bobby Jindal's staff joke writer was able to keep his job.

Biting his own Hand David Vitter may be lame - some people do like him - but he is not going out as a lame duck. Vitter is going after Congress for exempting itself in a matter regarding ObamaCare. And you thought he had given up.

Likely Story The Hayride says it likes a new Facebook page and (maybe) even liked it on Facebook. Dubbed Don't Blame Me; I Voted for Vitter, the page has a whopping 100-plus likes. If you can't tell from the title, it doesn't like John Bel Edwards but does like David Vitter. I might like it on Facebook to keep in the loop for all its news and such, but I don't necessarily like it in real life - it really hasn't provided me with anything I haven't, like, seen elsewhere. The Hayride would like to see some DBM;IVFV bumper stickers popping up around the state. Like that is going to happen!

Trick Play Flashback In case you haven't heard, there is some kind of football contest coming up this Sunday. The media is in full football bloom and here we find the best trick plays in Super Bowl history. The Saints Ambush play - an onside kick to start the second half of SB 44 - made the list. Yay! The Saints! Maybe next year?

Mardi Gras Madness Neutral Ground News, a satirical web site, has been investigating Mardi Gras. First, the Krewe of Parents threw 436 tons of crap cleared from their houses. Now, we learn the sad fate of king cake babies: about 750,000 king are orphaned every year. One local bakery is preaching king cake abstinence. We can't make this stuff up ('cause they already did!)

Catch Hell The biggest parades haven't even rolled yet and there are already headaches at this Mardi Gras. The Times-Pic reports on a black child catching some Confederate flag beads. The Hayride says it is much ado about nothing, because - you know - the comments on the article said so. Note to self: next year do not attend the Mystic Krewe of Northern Aggression Parade. I wonder if it has a king and queen or if it is all the royal fools? At least they aren't in black face like that Zulu parade. Those guys are insensitive.

Garbage Talk On Monday, an audit of the Department of Veterans Affairs was released and it called out David LaCerte, alleging he gave a nice contract to a classmate and bought himself (or his staff) a tight SUV. There's other allegations too, but LaCerte is calling them all garbage. The audit says he knows about garbage - as his staff shredded documents that would have painted an unflattering picture about his office.

Jindal had a Zero Balance Bobby Jindal's presidential campaign ended with no money and no deficits but cost $1.4 million. What did all that money go to? Here's a break down - it is mostly consultants and travel. Not too bad, eh? That is one budget he managed to balance. Holdup, wait a minute, Stephanie Grace says. We are the deficit.

The Face of ALICE Louisiana Weekly puts a name to the figures of ALICE and goes a little deeper into what it is like living on the margins in Louisiana. It's an interesting and heart-tugging read that really makes you think about what we can do to ... oh,hey, look a piece about the grass at the Super Bowl!

Did He Know? If you don't mind how badly hacked up and poorly edited this piece in Bayou Buzz is, this poorly edited and hacked-up piece in Bayou Buzz poses the question of whether or not John Bel Edwards knew how bad off the budget was when he ran for office and said he would not raise taxes. The allegation: he knew. He knew, and he knew he would have to make tax proposals but campaigned otherwise. Somewhere, deep within the Capitol JBE is smiling, licking his lips and twirling his Snidely Whiplash mustache (he has a mustache, right?) because HE KNEW!

Do What? This study rates how dependent each state is on the gun industry. While we are in the middle of the pack for that, it rated us low in in gun prevalence and gun politics. Sorry, but your measurement is flawed. Either that or there's a whole lot of guns and gun politics in other states. Seriously, I think I saw a middle school student council member get elected on a Second Amendment platform.

T-U-R-T-L-E POWER! This gives a new meaning to the old phrase, "smuggling turtles." Two men - one from Louisiana - are set to be in court today for smuggling protected turtles. Caught in a shrimp trawl - you can only hand catch this protected species in Louisiana - the turtles were being sold to China. Just think, this whole time we've been smashing a protect species on the highway to avoid potholes.

Who is to Blame? In the Not Really News Department, a report says Bobby Jindal's administration is to blame for our current economic mess. Tomorrow, we will hear the shocking news that the run rises in the east.

The Opposite of Ballin' Except for LSU, Louisiana schools lose money on athletics. So, in this age of cuts, why aren't we cutting athletics? It's an investment, according to the latest in The Advocate's special report on the higher education crisis. It points out that after national championship wins at LSU and New Orleans Bowl wins at UL, both saw a spike in applications. But, really? Nicholls having a football team is an investment? I guess, but then again, so was Enron.

The Water, Don't Drink It If you thought that Flint. Michigan's water problem was an isolated event, check out this post about the water in St. Joseph. Or better yet, don't check it out. It's super gross. I don't know where St. Joseph is located, but I don't intend on finding out. I'd hate to accidentally stop there one day and drink some of the brown liquid coming out of the pipes.

JBE: I'm a Promise Keeper John Bel Edwards is defending himself against those who are saying he broke promises he made during his run for office. He reasons that the proposals he made then and now are different because the facts are different and he has to make them. I don't know, it sounds a little like the time Vanilla Ice tried to explain how "Ice Ice Baby" does not sample "Under Pressure."

Delhomme Goes Down Memory Lane With the Panthers going to the Super Bowl (*wretch*), The New York Post looks back on the time USL's Jake Delhomme almost hoisted the Lombardi. He relives the game and gives hi thoughts on Cam Newton. Dammit, we said his name, now he has to do some kind of dance.

The Carnival 7 Forget the Seven People You See in Heaven, the Times-Pic has the The 7 People You See at Mardi Gras. The paper also calls for you to submit an 8th. Hmmmm, has anyone taken the Topless Coed or the Urinating Stranger?

Hard Times for Tiger The Daily Crawfish reports on the budget crisis. Despite two servings of Whiskas a day, it is not looking good for Mike the Tiger.

A Star is Born When KATC rolled into Carencro looking for witnesses to a drive-bu shooting, the found this guy. True, he doesn't have a great "Ain't nobody got tie for that" line, but that robe and that 'stache ... how has this not gone viral? He just might be Uncle Rico's stunt double.

Higher Ed Report The Advocate continues its special reports on education, this time focusing on John Bel Edwards and how he might get us out of this mess. While there is no clear path, there are a few options thrown out here. Spoiler alert: it involves cuts and raising requirements.

Louisiana to Planned Parenthood: It's Still On Like Donkey Kong One part of the budget that will not be cut is the fight to stop Planned Parenthood in Louisiana. This week, John Bel Edwards and new Attorney General Jeff Landry agreed that Landry's office would determine whether or not pursuing the appeal process to block Planned Parenthood would fall under the purview of the AG's office. Bobby Jindal's administration fought the ruling that said the state could not block Planned Parenthood. This was done through the Department of Health and Hospitals via private lawyer contracts to the tune of $750,000. Landry also says he will continue the appeal process. While it is a win for no one at this point, hopefully it will mean less money spent on outside firms handling the case. But this just in - we are still broke.

Take us off the List When John Bel Edwards spoke to the American Correctional Association’s Winter Conference, he expressed his desire to take Louisiana off the top of the list for incarceration rates. Not only did he stress how our standing does not make us any safer - look at the crimes still being committed in Louisiana - there are certain fix-the-budget undertones to what is being reported here. After all, we do spend $350 million keeping criminals on lock down. The only thing missing from this piece is how he plans on un-incarcerating our state. Eliminating mandatory sentencing? Removing jail time for certain petty crimes? Decriminalizing drugs? Making it legal to gargle in public? Cue the wailing and gnashing of teeth.

JBE vs EWE? Thanks to some legal mumbo jumbo and this-ing and that-ing, the state Supreme Court overturned an amendment that barred felons from running for office. So, John Bel Edwards, looks like you might be facing The Real Edwards in 2019. Whatcha gonna do, brother, when the Crook runs wild on you?

Brown on Cuts Jim Brown may be a grumpy old man, but unlike his compatriots, he has experience and some possible solutions to what he is griping about. In his latest blog, Brown says we don't need the taxes John Bel Edwards is proposing. Instead, he offers places to cut spending. Legit cuts that can be made - not to services or higher education. Not bad, Pops!

Hebert ... Just Wow Did former ATC Director Troy Hebert coax New Orleans club owners into financially backing Scott Angelle? That is what a source for Louisiana Voice is alleging. Hebert is already accused of sextorting - extorting sex - a club owner in exchange for smoothing over licensing issues. There are some interesting numbers to support this claim, but nothing - as of yet - that ties Angelle to the shakedown. The source alleges Hebert had meetings where he prodded owners to fund Angelle - perhaps in hopes of keeping his job. The 12 clubs in question did not give money to other campaigns but racked up $40,000 in donations to Angelle. Also, during an investigation of strip clubs - Operation Trick or Treat - out of the 18 investigated, 17 did not contribute to the campaign. Another strip club, Rick's Cabaret, is located close to nine clubs that received suspensions in New Orleans. Rick's was not investigated, as the source says the owners are friends with Hebert. The timing is not great as Angelle is still talked about as the guy to win David Vitter's Senate seat - if Angelle runs. But, JBE winning the governorship wasn't hindered by Trooper Gate. (Of course, JBE was running against Vitter, so ...) Whether or not this hurts Angelle, it makes Hebert look like the dumbest guy to hold a state job. And that is saying something.

The Forty Percent Forty percent. That's 10 percent shy of half. Forty percent of Louisiana households are in poverty or working poor who "barely scrape by" according to this Advocate piece about a new study. Wow. Just wow. Locally, it is a little better in Lafayette Parish at 32, but that's still too much. Check out the info graphic to see how poverty lands in Lafayette Parish.

Give Him a Break JR Ball says that tax breaks for private education should not be on the chopping block as long as industrial tax exemption exists and our schools suck.He even argues that the tuition he pays is not really tuition, it a tax from living in Baton Rouge where the schools suck more than almost everywhere else.

Facebook helps Out Facebook will start reminding Louisiana users about registering to vote so they can participate in the upcoming presidential primary. There's a lot of reasosn to register to vote. Number 5 will blow your mind.

Monument Ruling Issued Be sure to park your Lambo in a garage, cause the monuments are coming down (if the planned appeals don't work out). #northernaggression #nowthehealingbegins?

Ragin' Cajun Cuts UL Lafayette rolled out its budget cut proposals in light of the budget crisis. Included 