written by Adam Crouch and Olivia Huber. Media by Jessica Sturgeon.

A resurgence of Pokémon?

I guess I haven’t noticed. I’ve been too busy honing my dueling capabilities for the past 12+ years.

Oh, dueling?

Yeah, it’s just this thing that really serious Pokémon aficionados do.

Dueling is only the zenith of the Pokémon dynasty. All paths in a driven Pokémon trainer’s life lead to the end goal of nobly dueling. A trainer’s every action- from the first trip to the Vandalia Wal-Mart to buy a starter Pokémon deck, to the finding of the prized rare holographic card in a booster deck, to the advanced decision to never, ever, EVER use Bulbasaur as a starter Pokémon- every decision a trainer makes lays foundation for the epic event of dueling.

And that’s primarily what this article is about.

We are attempting to answer literally one of the hardest questions in human history.

How, in the face of a massive resurrection of all things can Pokémon, can one dazzle friends, professors, and romantic interests alike with mad dueling skills?

This is a sensitive issue. You can’t just trust any random hooligan or rapscallion on the street to give you

solid dueling advice. You’ve got to go the experts. Fortunately, we’ve got you covered. Only two people on Greenville campus have the credentials to answer such a daunting question.

Adam “Cool Heely Dad” Crouch: No worries, as certified Pokémon scientist, he is morally obligated to educate

you on dueling. He is often heard yelling “Pikachu” when he stubs his toe. And, contrary to popular belief, he has in fact evolved into Charizard once or twice.

Olivia “Cool Maverick Mom” Huber: You don’t have to call her Ms. President or anything, but she is the reigning president of the Chatham, Illinois Pokémon fan club. She has drawn all 150 of the original Pokémon for personal reasons and she owns the ever-coveted holographic Zapdos card.

So, yeah. We’re kind of big deals. You can trust us to teach you how to duel.

1.) Buy a starter deck. You can purchase this deck at any classy local Wal-Mart.

*Advanced Move: Build Your Own Deck!!! This is way fun. All you need to do is buy a premade assorted deck (focusing around any one of your favorite Pokémon) and supplement said deck with booster packs! Good times.

2.) Find a dueling buddy. If someone refers to the act of dueling as “playing Pokémon” they are not your dueling buddy. They are profaning the name of dueling. Ditch that nerd right away.

3.) Set up the duel. To do this, draw 7 cards into your hand. Additionally, put 3 prize cards aside. Leave the rest of your to be used for drawing before each turn. Now you will want to assess the Pokémon in your hand and choose the best basic Pokémon you have to be the Pokémon you start your duel with. Make this decision based off of attack ability, HP (hit points) available, and overall badassery. Put that Pokémon face down as your active Pokémon.

4.) Start the duel. Flip your active Pokémon over and assess the situation. Then, flip a coin to see who starts the duel. Then BEGIN DUELING.

5.) Each turn the following things will happen.

– The trainer will draw a card from their deck. This card can be used in their current turn.

– The trainer can put up to five other basic Pokémon on the “bench” in front of them. They must do this one per turn.

– The trainer can play one energy card per turn, either on the active Pokémon or the benched Pokémon.

– The trainer can play any number of trainer cards per turn. These cards help trainers gain more energies, heal Pokémon, add more Pokémon to their hand, and a variety of other actions.

– The trainer can, at the end of the turn, use an attack of their active Pokémon on the opponent’s active Pokémon. This attack damages the opponent’s active Pokémon’s HP.

** P.S. A trainer can evolve a basic Pokémon once per turn as well.

** P.P.S. If you knock out the opponent’s active Pokémon, pick up one of your prize cards. The duel ends when all three prize cards are gone.

So, there you go. This is a succinct summary on how to astound everyone with your dueling skills. Now, go. Duel. Win. Catch ‘em all.

*Disclaimer: We only participate in recreational dueling; we are not experts. If you have any complaints about this article, take them to Mikey Ward.

**Also, if any nerds have the audacity to say this article is wrong in any way, they can duel us for keepsies.