Relatives of people killed by security forces have met the Northern Ireland secretary, Karen Bradley, and asked her to resign for defending fatal shootings by soldiers during the Troubles.

A delegation of family members sat down with Bradley at Stormont House in Belfast on Friday to express concern over her comments in Westminster on Wednesday, when she said security force killings were not crimes and were the actions of people “fulfilling their duties in a dignified and appropriate way”.

Bradley invited the relatives to her office to repeat apologies she made on Thursday, but Frances Meehan, whose brother Michael Donnelly was shot with a plastic bullet in 1981, said her position was “untenable”.

Addressing the media after the meeting, Meehan said Bradley’s apology was not sufficient to undo the damage given her position in cabinet.

Relatives for Justice, a group of bereaved families that sent members to the meeting, said afterwards: “They looked her in the eye and told her she needed to resign.”

Families emerge from meeting with Karen Bradley - they looked her in the eye and told her she needed to resign pic.twitter.com/Ri3YcZEQ9R — Relatives 4 Justice (@RelsForJustice) March 8, 2019

Others shunned the meeting. “We will not meet her and have one request for Mrs Bradley, and that is for her to resign immediately,” said John Teggart, whose father, Danny, was shot 14 times by soldiers in Ballymurphy, in west Belfast, in 1971.

Ten people died in Ballymurphy during an army operation. An inquest is under way. Michael Mansfield, a barrister who is representing some of the families, said Bradley had shown no regard for the inquest and had made “entirely inappropriate observations”.

Next week prosecutors are due to announce whether paratroopers will be charged over the killing of 11 people in Derry in Bloody Sunday in 1972.

Nuala O’Loan, a former police ombudsman for Northern Ireland, has echoed calls from across the political spectrum for Bradley to resign. However, Downing Street has expressed support for the minister.

Bradley has said she misspoke, and that her comments were factually incorrect and did not reflect her views. She said she was “devastated” to think she had worsened bereaved relatives’ pain. “I want to get on and get this job done,” she said.