With people locked inside in self-quarantine and displaying social distancing, the world may seem like a bleak place currently. But not everything is a hellscape disaster, as reports are coming in that a record number of people have decided to finish watching The Irishman.

“I mean, sure, why not?” said Marcus Mummer, local Netflix subscriber. “I’m stuck at home all day and have done all of the chores I had planned on doing. Some of the chores. I have listed the chores I’ll do eventually. In any case, this is the first time I have twelve hours to put into watching The Irishman.”

The Martin Scorsese epic came out in the fall of last year to critical acclaim, and many people claimed to have watched it during its initial release. But the evidence is flooding in that these people are dirty, dirty liars who should never have been trusted in the first place.

“Of course I didn’t watch it when it first came out. In this modern world who has fifteen hours to sit and watch a weird-looking Robert De Niro?” commented Jezebel Beiler, another Netflix supporter. “And I love looking at Robert De Niro! Who doesn’t?”

The film tells the story of the rise and fall of the teamsters and Jimmy Hoffa from the 1950s to the 1970s (presumably. Nobody at the office has been able to set aside twenty hours to finish it ourselves). The film was stuck in development hell for years before Netflix funded the film. But even though it was available in every home in the world, the director is not surprised to find out people are only fully discovering it now.

“I had a funny feeling people hadn’t actually watched my film during the press run,” Scorsese told us, “I’m used to reporters not always having watched the finished film, but even three or four months into it I noticed that nobody was asking me about the seventh act crossdressing scene. I think it’s safe to assume that should have been at least a little more controversial.”

Even more shocking, it seems the stars of the film have also decided to watch the final product for the first time.

“What! What is this? I don’t remember this!” Al Pacino tweeted earlier today, with a video showing him watching the twelfth act song and dance number Paint Them Houses, Boys!

The sudden surge in people actually watching the film has lead to many stating it was very underrated and underappreciated at the end of year awards. Many Academy members are saying that, had they watched the film beforehand, they would have considered it more for Best Picture.

“It’s that tenth act turn into a full-blown musical that I found impressive,” said Academy voter Laurence Thump, “I mean, wow! If only the film wasn’t thirty hours long I would have watched it earlier.”