The Catholic League issued a prickly written rebuttal to this week’s Pennsylvania grand jury report revealing rampant child sex abuse by priests — insisting that news of an ongoing pedophilia problem in the church is “a total myth” and that “no one was found guilty of anything.”

“There is no on-going crisis — it’s a total myth,” Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic anti-defamation organization, said in a claim that was quickly met with scorn and disgust.

“In fact, there is no institution, private or public, that has less of a problem with the sexual abuse of minors today than the Catholic Church,” Donohue wrote in a tweet that linked to a longer statement on the organization’s website.

“How many of the 300 were probably guilty? Maybe half,” Donohue said, referring to the grand jury’s findings that victims had made credible accusations of child sex abuse and church coverups against some 300 priests.

“My reasoning? The 2004 report by the John Jay College for Criminal Justice found that 4 percent of priests nationwide had a credible accusation made against them between 1950-2002,” Donohue said.

“That is the figure everyone quotes. But the report also notes that roughly half that number were substantiated. If that is a reliable measure, the 300 figure drops to around 150.”

Donohue’s inference — that the difficulty in substantiating decades-old accusations against priests means that half of the victims are making it up — was immediately rebuffed.

“Bill Donahue’s soul just leaked out of his body,” tweeted John Podhoretz, a New York Post columnist who is editor of Commentary.

Jim Lokay, an anchor for the Washington, DC, affiliate of Fox News, tweeted that the Catholic League’s statement was “One of the most shameful, ignorant, tone-deaf, arrogant tweets I’ve ever seen.”

Others zeroed in on Donohue’s claim that conservative Catholics “are singularly incapable of making a cogent argument, so all they do is vent like little boys.”

“Vent like little boys? Just to be clear,” snarked Lynn Novak, a Twitter user from Virginia, “do you mean like non-traumatized little boys or little boys who have been sexually abused by priests and utterly betrayed by their church?”