Close every museum and cut Revelations out of the Bible, because this video of Arizona State sorority girls taking nonstop selfies at a baseball game is the most accurate possible representation of our once-great civilization’s past (implicit but absent), present (lots of selfies), and future (inevitable, stunning crumble and decline).


The members of ASU’s Alpha Chi Omega sorority were at Wednesday evening’s Diamondbacks-Rockies game when they were caught by cameras (and two very uncool announcers) taking picture after picture of themselves having a fun time, of themselves with hot dogs, of themselves looking confused.

“I can’t even get my phone to take pictures,” says one announcer, who likely just has a landline.


“Here’s my first bite of the churro. Here’s my second bite of the churro,” says the other.

Also, holy crap, these guys are professionals (though these girls don’t seem to be in the video above):

They’ll be doing this long after the world’s ended. Like roaches, but beautiful. Watch the whole video below:

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