



My piece about Showtime's Shameless and its subversion of the typical coming out narratives we see on TV was picked up by The Good Men Project. You can read it here:



Shameless Self-Disclosure: Showtime’s Unlikely Coming Out Story

Having read a number of fan reactions to the March 30 episode that, while sort of “de facto positive”, also marveled, “It’s about time! Why didn’t this happen sooner?”, I felt it was particularly important to look at Mickey Milkovich’s character arc through the lens of family violence.

I have worked in the interpersonal violence prevention and intervention field for the better part of my 15-year career. I’m currently an advocacy-based counselor for sexual assault and abuse survivors, focusing, especially, on outreach to underserved populations.When I first started watching Shameless, I was immediately struck by its take on the Milkovich family, portraying the effects of hegemonic violence (perpetrated by father Terry) on Mandy and Mickey in a visceral-but-understated way that absolutely stacks up against the experiences of real-life children raised under similar conditions.



I was surprised to learn, though, that some viewers thought Mickey was an unlikable, unsympathetic character: one who needed to “step up, take responsibility, and stop being afraid of who he really is.” Many admitted that they had a change of heart about the character as the fourth season progressed, feeling he’d adequately capitulated to their expectations, I guess.

Then I realized that, for those not familiar with the dynamics of family violence, trauma responses and coping mechanisms can and do present in the form of off-putting or confusing behaviors. This is, unfortunately, another barrier to intervention in the case of a lot of young people who have experienced both acute trauma and ongoing abuse – because less trauma-informed systems are likely to attempt to address immediately problematic surface issues (for example: hygiene, aggression, truancy) rather than trace the underlying etiology. So, it was relevant to point out how Mickey’s actions, mannerisms, and choices aligned with his history as a child abuse and sexual assault survivor.

Equally relevant: the idea of a non-binary closet, and how the climactic moment in Season 4’s episode “Emily” was simply the culmination of many deliberate, incremental steps “out” by Mickey that started with his and Ian’s first sexual encounter and has progressed – albeit in a sometimes non-linear way – ever since.

Coming out is a slippery slope for a lot of LGBTQ young people. According to a 2006 study, 26% of LGB youth have been kicked out of the family home after disclosing their sexual orientation; 33% have been physically assaulted by family members. So calls for these young people to “own their identity” and unequivocally live as their “true selves” while still being dependent upon parents or other adult caretakers for subsistence needs should be viewed with a jaundiced eye. However, harm reduction notwithstanding, it isn’t fair to expect queer youth to lead these indefinitely repressed lives, either. That’s the double-edged sword Shameless depicted, and navigated with more success than I’ve seen on TV previously. Mickey did come out; but not before fighting tooth and nail for it, and not without consequence.