During the holiday rush you’ll be seeing a larger demographic of customers, customers that only shop at your store maybe twice a year and both of those occasions happen in December. Most of these people are the normal type asking normal “where’s this book” or “where’s the bathroom” type questions. Others are the nasty, demanding, center-of-the-universe mouth breathers that you tend to vent about in the break room.

There’s a third type though. The smelly, quiet customer. I’m sure I’m missing a few more of them that I could list at another point, but I wanted to hit the main four. None of them are either aware of how bad they smell or just flat out don’t care. When we get complaints we can ask that the offending party vacate the store but you know that’s mostly just for the smelly hobo. What do you do, what do you say to a nice, unassuming 80 year old grandmother that the whole store now smells like extract of peony? The unwashed nerd is sad because all they need is a stick of Old Spice or similar. Nerds are great customers too. They got all that wonderful expendable nerd money. Buying the whole collection of Full Metal Alchemist manga? They don’t even bat an eye. Buying out the Yu Gi Oh display? Awesome! Just, please, PLEASE shower a little more regularly.

I hate patchouli. It’s musky, dry, and filthy. There is nothing worthwhile found in patchouli. A terrible scent worn by those who have poor taste in everything. I get dizzy, my head aches, breathing becomes a chore. Just a drop of that putrid oil is enough to get me dry heaving. Patchouli SUCKS.