Recap: We beat Do-Youn in the Aroma Region and then he fled us to a secluded area in a forest.

Heyy… it’s been forever and I’m a terrible person so I’m just going to jump right into Saga’s adventures in Eterna Forest without making you wait any more.

First encounter in the forest is a Pikachu, which we simply gotta have, so Saga chucks a Friend Ball at him hoping that he will succumb to her desire to befriend a mouse.

Pikachu did not want to be our friend.

So we try a Great Ball.

Because this friendship is gonna happen.

Welcome to the team, Lucian! I promise you’ll have fun.

Despite having kidnapped us here, Do-Youn is gracious enough to allow us to retreat back to Orion City to grab our new Pikachu.

I replace Geodude from the party because, come on, does anybody really use Geodude?

…well, I don’t.

We spend SO much time in Eterna Forest that we somehow run into this dickslice again.

GO AWAY. STOP CHANGING YOUR LEVEL TO APPEASE ME. NOTHING YOU DO APPEASES ME.

Lucian’s having a fun time despite getting his ass kicked every few minutes.

I’m not joking, this place is HARD. I don’t know if we’re underleveled or what, but we have to run back to Orion City after every two battles. Consistently.

Thinking that maybe the problem is Saga’s team in general, I get hold of a Thunderstone and evolve Lucian.

While Lucian’s newfound maturity didn’t save everyone from fainting, it did make him the MVP of the party. Naturally, he was tasked with doing most of the trainer fighting because of this.

This was our next Shadow Pokemon. We caught him. Don’t worry. I never miss catching Shadow Pokemon.

EVER.

Oh look, a mysterious boat in the middle of the forest that our odd little friend sent us to against our wishes that just knows where to go. Clearly, we can trust it.

Lucian, get off of me. We’ve made it to someplace called Origin City and I wanna go check it out.

Who’s this colorful fellow?

Ohh wait, I remember this guy! He’s that funny little dude from that Gamecube game.

He’s… um… his name’s… uhh…

Ah! Miror B! That’s right!

Oh god I wish you could hear the music playing right now, it’s some disco-dance-tune and it is just grand.

Iago was an unfortunate choice for first-up.

Man, Miror B does not play around. He may seem silly on the outside, but there’s a ruthless killer on the inside of that dancer body. Don’t be fooled by his amusing dialogue, he will fuck some shit if he has to.

Dude even had a second Ludicolo that gave us a run for our money. Every move was freakin’ Mega Drain, so Lucian’s Thunderbolts had a hard time keeping Ludicolo’s health down.

Of course, he’s got a Shadow Pokemon. Which we catch.

It’s surprising to me that his Shadow was a Porygon, who could not possibly be an efficient dancer, whereas Ludicolo was practically bred for the task.

Miror B: You’ve beaten me through and through! I guess I’ll have to let you use this Relic Stone…

IT’S PURIFYING TIME

Miror B: Origin City is a very old place! That stone up there may be able to cure Shadow Pokemon, for sure! I can’t test it though, you just beat mine! Cut the music, let’s scram!

I like to imagine those two lackeys of his carry around boomboxes in order to set the tone for each of Miror B’s battles.

L…Lucian? Is that you talking?

WHO IS SAYING THESE WORDS TO ME?!

WHO WILL BE WAITING DOWN THE STAIRS?!

The Relic Stone is so smart that it knows when a Pokemon is in your party who can be purified. That’s great for me, as I’d like to do as little work as possible in the field of Shadow Pokemon.

We didn’t have Future-Leafeon in the party at this time. The one with the open heart was actually Vulpix — who I have shown absolutely no attention to whatsoever.

With Vulpix’s heart opened, we get the chance to name him. We’re on “M” in the alphabet, so he gets the first one that jumps to mind. Along with nicknaming, Markie relearns every move he would have had had he not been Shadow-ed.

There are three little lighthouse towers here that each have a different word on the door. One is “willpower”, one is “knowledge”, and one is “emotion”. At the time I was playing this part of the game (which was, what, like, a hundred years ago) I didn’t see any connection among the three. After having expanded my Pokemon repertoire, however, I have a pretty good idea as to what they mean.

Also, it looks like Do-Youn was the guy waiting for us. Don’t know why he didn’t approach us when he was talking. He just wanted to shout at us from the bottom of the stairs for whatever reason.

The little dork FLYs us back to town so we can retrieve other Shadows that can be purified, but he’s not nice enough to drop us off at the Relic Stone when we ask to return. We have to navigate our way through the whole forest to get there.

I am shocked that Geodude and Electrike can be purified. I haven’t touched them. They’ve been sitting in my party with the purpose of being switch-bait the whole time. Could the amount of battles you partake in be a factor in how quickly a Pokemon’s heart opens? Or the distance you travel with them in your party?

Another fun fact about purifying is your Pokemon gains all of the experience points they would have received in every battle they participated in. Future-Leafeon jumped a ton of levels once he touched the stone.

Alright, cool! Everyone who can be purified, IS purified. Let’s head back to town.

Hey! A quick way to open a Pokemon’s heart! Hooray!

Technically, we “bought” Growlithe’s love… but I feel that is completely justified by the fact that there are SO MANY SHADOWS that Saga could not possibly spend enough time with each of them.

AND, he got to evolve thirty seconds later.

See? Completely justified.

Buying the love of a Pokemon is totally acceptable.

I’m pretty happy with my line-up right now (Jade, Iago, Quirino, Radio, Future-Leafeon, and Lucian), so let’s move the story along!

Do-Youn takes us to Antares Town.

Don’t tell me that. Eterna Forest was painful enough.

Oh god, what has happened to you?! The sheer fact that I was able to tell EXACTLY what sorts of things traumatized you must mean the experience was just awful!

You do not know me at all, sir.

I am not the type of person to appreciate your Honedge.

Whatever that means.

Must be an alternate-timeline watch. That shit ain’t happening.

Saga decides to do a bit of grinding before she heads into the desert.

While doing so, she actually manages to stumble upon a mossy rock.

WHICH MEANS…

DRUMROLL…

FINALLY

OH MY GOD IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED

I HAVE A LEAFEON

flashgflekhfgalfgflajkgf

LEAFEOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN

FINALLYYYYYYYY

LOOK AT HIS STATS

HE’S SO BEAUTIFUL

I DON’T CARE IF HE SUCKS

HE IS MINE AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS IRRELEVANT

We grind wilds, we fight trainers, we go back to Antares, we find a cave.

I don’t recognize this sprite as an existing Pokemon character, so he must be new.

Dude in cave: Who am I? Just another wanderer amongst the many adventurers in the world.

Poetic.

Dude in cave: Cipher and Team Aqua… Much unrest has been caused in this region due to their meddling. They have the power to control a legendary Pokemon, and you have the strength to oppose them?

Don’t be fooled by the Arcanine who I basically forced to love me blocking the entrance — we are a team to be reckoned with.

Kind of.

Dude in cave: Your courage astounds me, and I must admit you interest me. Let’s have at it, shall we? Show me what you’re made of!

Suzerain…

…as in, thesuzerain…

…the creator of the game itself…?!

OH GOD

Fighting the creator?! Isn’t this final-boss material here?!

WE ARE SO BONED