It was 11 nights before Christmas, and all through the house, I was shovelling the driveway so I'm not sure what was going on in the house.

The stockings were hung from the semi-finished living room remodel fireplace with string, when what do my ear's hear but a little, "dinga-a-ling".

Oh sheesh! Good Lord! Great scott already. This visitor was a man with his arms at the ready!

A package, a box, all wrapped in prime. I offer a signature that was abruptly denied.

Farewell to the messanger, my mind a scurry. Could it be? It is! My hands gripping it firmly.

Should I wait? Yes! But wait... oh dear. I wouldn't want my family to know I exchange with neck beards.

Off to my room, and after a quick wank, I rip up the box and and find quite the skank!

A book and a stapler, oh my oh my, now I can finally, happily, die.

[Lol at the stapler but this book was on my purchase list! Thanks a bunch Santa. You're great. Have a happy happy Christmas :)