We've all met a bullshitter -- the guy who claims he's been in a ton of street fights , or a secret agent. But nothing is worse than the fake war heroes -- dudes who want all of the glory and cool stories of people who served without the actual "risking their lives" part. It's not surprising that those ridiculous, compulsive liars exist. It's surprising that some of them managed to fool the world.

6 Overweight "Green Beret" Convinces Feds He Should Be in Charge of Disaster Recovery

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William James Clark liked to pretend to be a Green Beret. That doesn't mean he was good at it, mind you. In fact, we would have named Clark the worst impostor in the history of military fakers ... had his own government not believed him.

For instance, in 2010, an active-duty sergeant saw this whale of a man lumber by him in Army combat fatigues at a gun show. Of particular note were the special forces patch on his arm and his rank, which was captain. Also of note, he was claiming to be a member of the Army special forces group the Green Berets, yet he was wearing a black beret. Clark was hitting up an ATV representative for a special deal on a few for "his guys." To review, an overweight man in uniform indicating that he was an officer in the Green Berets was trying to convince someone to sell him ATVs for use in combat, all while wearing the wrong colored hat. He pretty much did stuff like this every day.

Via Sean Linnane

"I, uh, eat an extra serving of dessert for each of my fallen comrades."

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For instance, two years prior, Clark called up the Russian embassy to warn them that his unit was planning to assassinate Vladimir Putin. Because he's totally a Green Beret, you guys, and that's how they operate.

But it's all harmless fun, right? Just a random crazy guy who found a uniform ...

Via Sean Linnane

"The government issued me a license to bulge."

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Who the Hell Bought This?

On May 26, 2002, the captain of a tugboat lost control of the vessel and collided with the Interstate 40 bridge on the Arkansas River in Oklahoma. What followed was a scene of total chaos -- 14 people died in the disaster. Folks nearby and even the tugboat crew immediately began to render aid to those in the water. You know, like people are wont to do in an emergency. And then fake Green Beret Billy James Clark appeared on the scene.