The Chinese military says excessive masturbation and too many video games are among the reasons its physical-test failure rates have reached an “alarming high.”

The People’s Liberation Army is now dishing out advice after one city saw more than half its candidates — 56.9 percent — fail their physicals, according to the BBC.

PLA found that 8 percent of candidates failed because of abnormalities found in their scrotum from sitting too much. Another 25 percent flunked because of blood and urine tests.

It recommended that candidates follow 10 basic principles, including exercising more, cutting out fizzy drinks and booze, limiting computer games and masturbation, not getting a tattoo and drinking clean water.

The advice was instantly mocked by users on social media microblog Sina Weibo.

“Next year they’ll be asking for circumcisions!” said one user.

The PLA has struggled to recruit new members, despite desperate measures to find candidates like releasing a rap recruitment video last year.

The Ministry of Defense last month announced the PLA would be cut from 2 million to 1 million — a move that some believe is due to a lack of new recruits.