2008 At-Risk Survivor At-Risk Survivors have misadventures that stop short of the ultimate sacrifice. Nevertheless we salute the spirit of their colossal blunders with an Honorable Mention. Better luck next time!

Bench Press 2008 At-Risk Survivor

Confirmed True by Darwin

That was how 41-year-old Xian found himself face down on a bench, and calling for help in the middle of the night. The lonely man had noticed that the steel sit-up benches in LanTian Park had numerous ventilation holes, and thought it might be possible to use them for sexual gratification.

Enticing orifices.

Once Xian became aroused, he found he was stuck and could not remove himself from the hole in the bench. Quite understandably, he panicked. Police received a call from a disturbed man, and arrived to find poor Xian trapped face-down on the bench.

Doctors were summoned to the scene. They tried, but emergency workers had to cut the entire bench free and take him to the hospital.

Four painful hours later, doctors finally separated Xian from his bench. It is certainly possible that the lack of blood flow easily could have caused sufficient damage that doctors would have been forced to remove his penis.

This is a bad date that Xian will never forget.

Artist Rendition:



Actual Photograph:



MEDIA REFERENCESS: (1), (2), (3), (4).

Reader Comments:

"What a predicament! (Pun intended.)"

"Wouldn't you think that a man from the country that invented the Chinese Finger Trap would have been able to figure out how to release his piece?"



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