Aidan Turner is dangerous. He’s gorgeous, yes, and charming, and a good actor, but he’s dangerous, and don’t forget it, because understanding this is the only protection you have against him.

Or more specifically, against his smile.

It’s an epic smile, and better seen than described, but here’s the problem: it cannot be viewed in motion.

You cannot watch any moving image of Aidan Turner smiling and expect to just get up and make a turkey sandwich. That’s not how it happens. (I’m sure his family is well over it, and his girlfriend sees it coming a mile away, and his friends hide their wallets and better booze when he starts flashing it around. But the uninitiated are defenseless.)

Viewing still images of Aidan Turner’s smile is safe enough. They will make you smile yourself and wonder why you married so young, but you’ll come through it. You’ll move on to pictures of Idris Elba, or Ryan Gosling, or whoever else might be nicer to look at than the sullen teenager sitting across from you on the bus, and you’ll carry on with your day.

Viewing Aidan Turner’s smile in motion, however, may make you insane. We can’t recommend against it enough. But if you insist, be sure you’re sitting somewhere safe and that you’re surrounded by people who care about you. Because, for a while, you’re going to be crazy. Here’s what will happen:

Let’s say you recently watched Desperate Romantics and thought, That actor really sells the joy of sleeping with street whores. I’m impressed. What’s his name? Ahhhh…Aidan Turner. With two “a”s. Right. You will go to YouTube and click on an interview featuring Aidan Turner, just to see what he’s about. About three seconds in, Aidan Turner will smile and you will spill whatever you’re drinking. You will curse, but not much, because your video is paused at the best part of the smile: eyes crinkled, mouth open, and a row of ortho-porn teeth, and who can stay angry around that?

You will clean up your spilled drink, and restart the video. At the seven second mark, Aidan Turner will smile and throw back his head and laugh. Depending on when the video was taken and how long his hair is, a curl may bounce around and add to the crazy. You will make a noise, and put your hand to your mouth, and you will think something like along these lines: Sweet Jesus, I don’t think I will survive this.

But you do survive. You re-watch that section of the clip seventeen times as a kind of inoculation, and then, mental and emotional (and loinal) loins girded, you carry on with the rest of the video. And then, just another fifteen seconds in, Aidan Turner delivers the death blow. Someone will ask something that he does not know how to answer, and he will make a face that is his alone: he will laugh and squinch up his nose and tilt his head just the littlest bit, and beam a smile of rueful but sunny confusion. It makes him look like a puppy, if a puppy could smile, and it’s at this point that you will lose your shit.

You may make a noise again, and you may rewatch the clip a few times, but that’s the sane part. What’s not sane is what happens next. You will call your mother over, or your husband, or your boss, or your best friend, and force them to watch the clip, and say: “Look at him! LOOK!! He movie-shags the hell out of movie-prostitutes AND he has that smile, AND he sometimes looks like a puppy who just peed on your carpet but is hoping you actually like puppy-pee. I LOVE him.”

And even though the person who was just made to watch the clip will be unmoved, and will look at you with concern, you will mean it. For the next three days, Aidan Turner and his smile will fill your thoughts and you will love him. You will skip class so that you and Aidan can spend time alone together on the internet. If you are creative, Aidan will become your muse, and you will knit socks with his face on them. Every curvilinear shape you see will remind you of Aidan Turner’s curls, and you will say so to whoever’s standing nearby. The color white will remind you of Aidan Turner’s teeth, and you will say so to whoever’s standing nearby. You will have succumbed to Aidan Turner’s smile, and you will suffer for it.

You have been warned.