To Amber

@amberdollars

Hello to everyone who will read this. I never thought that I would be involved in a weird situation like this but I felt a moral obligation to write this post.

A few hours ago a friend sent me a link to a thread on a music forum. They had reported that someone on Tumblr was accusing singer Mitski of participating in human trafficking and child sexual abuse. My friend had no way of knowing this but… my stomach dropped while reading it. Because I saw a photo of my friend Amber posted in that thread.

I can’t speak about Mitski and have no ties to her, but Amber and I went to the same school in Tennessee. She’s not a bad person and I deeply care about her but I can say with certainty that she never had any contact with Mitski.

Last fall, Amber’s dad Shawn tragically killed himself. I know her family and I can say with certainty that he was an amazing person, a single father of seven children (including Amber’s adopted little sister), managing a household while working in social media marketing. Whenever I was at Amber’s house, we would have conversations about music and movies. He was kind and cool, and his death left his family shocked, alone and vulnerable.

That is when Amber began experimenting with drugs as a way to deal with the enormous pain of losing a parent. I begged her to stop, to go to a therapist and find a healthy way to cope with Shawn’s passing, to be strong and resist the urges, but it was too late. She often called me in the middle of psychotic episodes, talking gibberish and not making any sense. Whatever she was watching or reading would feature in those episodes - crime shows on TV, anime, book plots. I was deeply troubled so I spoke with her oldest brother about the situation. Amber, I betrayed your trust and I’m sorry. I know this is why we stopped talking. But you were endangering yourself and I didn’t know what else to do.

However I won’t ever forget that one time we hang out in my room last December. Her dad was a huge music fan, he listened to unusual artists and loved to read music reviews. That night was the first time I heard Mitski’s music. Amber told me that her father had gotten her album shortly before he passed away and introduced her to Mitski’s songs. She played me a few of her songs, I don’t remember which, but I was under the impression that she was listening to her dad’s favorite music after his tragic death to feel close to him. Amber specifically told me that it was her father who played Mitski’s music for her and that she hadn’t heard of her before.

I am just finding out that Amber hasn’t stopped doing drugs, despite all my hopes. I don’t know what made her write the allegations but her father was a wonderful man who loved his children more than anything. If there was any human trafficking, summer schools, NYC trips, her father working for the CIA or being involved in a pedophilic ring… I would have known. We were classmates and I have known Amber for years, meeting after school, hanging out at each other’s place. There was no way any of her stories would have happened.

Amber, please stop doing this. You’re tainting your father’s name, ruining a woman’s career with false allegations and endangering yourself. People have your photo and name, as I have seen them posted on that thread. That’s enough for people to find out where you live, or for Mitski’s team to take legal proceedings against you. You don’t have to do this and have a lie following you for the rest of your life, because you said stupid shit on the internet while you were on drugs.

Please, please @amberdollars, for your father’s sake, find a way to get healthy. There are better ways to cope with your trauma. If you need to talk to me, I’m here. I’m sorry for that night. I didn’t have any right to share those things but you are my friend and I wanted you to get better. You were scaring me to death and I am shaking while writing this. Please, I don’t want you to overdose.

Just give me a call, please.