My noble Secret Santa sent me an Orka brand all-purpose dressing maker (moulin des sauces!) that "makes perfect dressing and mayonnaise." I can't wait to do a taste test between hand-churned mayonnaise from my new Orka and my legendary bathtub mayonnaise. May the best mayonnaise win!

Upon the opening of my first (of three) gifts, my ill-tempered, one-armed crazy cat lady wife said, "It looks like a penis pump."

Well, if by penis she means mayonnaise and by pump she means maker, then I guess...

My SS also sent me a specially made mayonnaise spatula that effortlessly reaches unknown depths of stubborn nooks and crannies to secure the last remnants of mouth-watering mayonnaise. And an Amazon Kindle gift card!

Thank you, Secret Santa.