A few years ago I developed a serious phobia. While it absolutely sucked, it pushed me to intensely study meditation, yoga and relaxation techniques, and learn to control my thoughts and emotions in a way I’d never thought possible. In other words, it gradually forced me to live a better life.

Dozens of books and hundreds of articles into my journey I find that the single most valuable thing I learned (and adapted), the one I come back to constantly and teach my friends, is a simple five breath technique. In five breaths I can calm myself, enjoy the moment and even reset my entire day. It only takes a minute or two, and the results are surprisingly powerful.

Given the state of the country (and world) at this moment, I thought now might be a good time to share this.

While you can complete the exercise quickly with only five inhales & exhales, repeating a few of the breaths multiple times makes it exponentially more potent. It works best when you’re sitting or laying down, but works quite well when you’re standing or walking too.

A warning: this technique is deceptively simple. It’s so dead simple that you’ll likely be tempted to ignore it, or try it once and forget it. Trust me, give it a chance. It’s worked miracles for me and for many of my friends.

Here goes:

BREATH ONE: IN / OUT

Breathe in, thinking “In”. Breathe out, thinking “Out”.

If you have time, repeat this breath many times. Allow your mind to only think the words “In” and “Out”, and as your mind starts getting silent, notice the sounds around you. As you breathe in with “In” and out with “Out”, see if you can hear the silence underneath the sounds. Notice the weight of your body in the chair or bed, or as you walk. Continue breathing in with “In” and out with “Out” until you feel you are inhabiting the moment, until you’re grounded in reality. Center yourself in the here and now.

BREATH TWO: DEEP / SLOW

Now take a deep breath in thinking “Deep”. Hold the breath in your body for a few seconds. Then exhale very slowly, thinking “Slow”.

If possible repeat this one a few times as well. During the “Deep” breath, fill your diaphragm/stomach first, then feel your ribcage expand, then your chest. As you hold the breath, feel the oxygen’s healing properties in your body. When you exhale, really draw out the word “Slooooow”, emptying your chest, then ribs area, then stomach last. Feel yourself and the world around you becoming less rushed, moving at a slower pace, becoming more peaceful.

I find it especially helpful to “breathe into my hands” for this breath. I fill my stomach, then chest, then imagine the breath filling my shoulders, upper arms, lower arms, then hands. I hold the breath, feeling it course from my navel to my fingers, and then I exhale, feeling the breath leave my fingers, then hands, then arms, then chest, then stomach. Sometimes I repeat this breath five to ten times, depending on my current state.

BREATH THREE: CALM / EASE

Now breathe in thinking “Calm”. Feel the breath relaxing your body as you inhale. Hold the breath, which is easing tension in you as you hold it. Then breathe out thinking “Ease”, feeling a sense of ease as you exhale.

Repeat this one as much as necessary, letting a feeling of calmness enter your body, reminding yourself with each breath to inhabit the moment, to take life one moment at a time, and that most of the time everything in this specific moment is completely fine. (Even if there’s plenty to worry about in the future, or you’re reacting to something negative from the past.) And let yourself feel peace. Most of the time I find people don’t allow themselves to feel peace or relaxation as they’re going through their day. Take a minute to allow peace into your body, to welcome it, and to let it inhabit you.

BREATH FOUR: SMILE / RELEASE

This is the most important breath by far, the one that I find helps the most.

Breathe in smiling, feeling the healing, nourishing aspects of oxygen in your body. Feel the oxygen actually healing your body, restoring you to a peaceful state. As you hold the breath for a few seconds, imagine it radiating health and nourishment inside you. Then breathe out thinking “Release”, releasing all of the tension in your body through your exhale.

Now repeat the breath many times, smiling always. Every time you breathe in, channel the breath to a spot where you feel tension, pain, fear or anxiety. Imagine the oxygen going to that specific area and dissolving the tension or fear. When you breathe out, imagine that tension being exhaled as a black cloud of breath that dissolves in front of you. Then breathe in again, focusing on a different spot, breathing into it, dissolving it and exhaling it. Work your way through all the tension points in your body, dissolving each one and getting rid of it through the breath. Pay attention to how much better your body feels each time you do it. Once you’ve hit all the specific tension points, focus on the entire body again. Feel the breath bringing you peace, healing and nourishment. Feel the exhale releasing all the negative feelings in your body.

If you’re especially anxious, you can replace the words “Peace / Release” with “Love / Fear”. Breathe in feeling love, dissolve the fear, and then breathe out the fear. When I was dealing with my phobia, simply focusing on this breath — breathing in love then breathing out fear — helped me far more than medicine could.

BREATH FIVE: HERE / NOW

This breath ends the exercise by really bringing you into the moment.

Breathe in thinking “Here”, grounding yourself in the moment, in the space you’re in. If your eyes have been closed for the exercise, this is a good time to open them. No matter what thoughts were racing through your head before, no matter what you’re nervous about in the future or holding onto in the past, there is only the here and now. Breathe out thinking “Now”. Focus again on emptying your mind, on living in this specific, simple moment. Repeat this breath until you feel you’re in the moment, until you’ve let go of the past and the future.

THE EXERCISE, IN BRIEF

Copy/paste this into your notes app or a post-it note for a quick reminder:

#1: In / Out

#2: Deep / Slow

#3: Calm / Ease

#4: Smile / Release (or Love / Fear)

#5: Here / Now

MAKE IT A HABIT

You might feel a huge difference the first time you try this, which should be enough motivation to keep you practicing. If you don’t, see if you can try it in stressful situations a few times before giving up on it entirely. Sometimes breathing exercises take a little practice (as ridiculous as that may sound) because we’re not used to them, and they feel strange and uncomfortable at first.

Another great use for this is getting you to sleep. Try this exercise when you’re having trouble falling asleep. If your mind is racing it might take a few attempts before you’re able to slow it down, but keep at it and it should get you there.

FURTHER PRACTICES

This is an exercise based on one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s breathing techniques. I encourage you to read his version too, as he’s a fantastic writer and his language is calming in itself.

If you’re skeptical that simply breathing would actually help you, read this article on the science behind breathing exercises like this one. If you want to try another very successful breathing exercise, try Dr. Weil’s 4–7–8 breath. For an extremely simple one, slow down your breathing and think the word “One” every time you inhale and then think “One” again as you exhale.

This exercise is also a great lead-in to meditation if you’re having trouble quieting your mind completely as you try to watch your breath. If you’re new to meditation, here are my 1. three 2. favorite 3. ways to get started. Even ten minutes a day is a good start. Or try either Gaiam’s Meditation Studio app or the Headspace app.

If you found this at all helpful, hit the heart to let me know and I’ll keep posting articles like this.