HELP WANTED! Discovery Channel Celebrity Chief Shark Officer

Job Requirements: Must enjoy exotic, waterfront locations, buff bodies in bathing suits and having the bejesus scared out of you. Looking delicious in a wet suit is a plus. Sense of humor required.

Salary: Chump Change (we spent an hour coming up with that!)

Benefits: Lots and lots of insurance and some great dentistry, naturally.

Job Description: Discovery Channel is looking for a fun‐loving, fast‐swimming personality to be the first ever Chief Shark Officer for this year's Shark Week. As we circle in on our 24th year, Shark Week has captured the zeitgeist that began with Jaws and is synonymous with summer. As the CSO, you will be required to swim with sharks (accompanied by professionals, of course), attend Shark premiere parties in NY, LA and Miami (accompanied by celebrities, of course) and help spread the word about the world's most misunderstood predator.

Please forward resumes, audition tapes and blood type to Discovery Channel c/o Elizabeth Hillman.