www.rileysride.com

Stiff neck. Aching lower back. Left hamstring shot. Sharp cramps behind both shoulder blades.

I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN!!!!

An 800 milligram Ibuprofren and a heating pad later … I mentally justified my agony as I stretched this morning.

I AM IN LOVE WITH Wii. AND LOVE, IS SOMETHING UNCONTROLLABLE.

A little background info …

I’ve played Wii several times before; once at a promo party when it was first released and a few times at various friends’ houses. Threw a few strikes with a virtual bowling ball and raced on a cow’s back for fun between beers. Yeah, I thought it was fun, but never really got into it. Not in the way that I’ve gotten into certain Xbox or online games. Not in a way where I felt like I might die if I couldn’t play.

My Wii emotions changed over this holiday. I met DDR on Christmas Day, fell head-over-heels in love and knew for sure that I might die if I woke up tomorrow and the blue and white mat wasn’t waiting for me in front of the TV.

Santa brought me new Choos, an iPod (to replace the one I left on an airplane), a Wii and Dance Dance Revolution. I’m terrified that the big guy made a mistake and hit the wrong house. What if my stellar gifts were intended for the girl who lives next door … you know … the one who was nice all year????

EEK!

My stuff hasn’t been repo’d yet, so perhaps I was left off the naughty list for the first time since ’88.

SWEET.

My new favorite toy couldn’t have come at a better time. I smashed 6 tamales and about 8 cocktails on Christmas Eve … a workout was definitely in order. The family gathered ’round and we each created our Miis, which is an inexplicably comical process.

Why is a cartoon-like image of people you know so funny? I have no idea, but it is hilarious.

About 15 of us battled one another in Wii boxing, baseball, tennis, bowling, and golf. It got competitive … REALLY competitive. My parents’ family room sounded like game 7 of the World Series … bases loaded, bottom of the ninth, 2 outs … only difference was my cousin was up to bat, not Babe Ruth. Our series wrapped up around 2:30 a.m. and after everyone turned in, I decided to crack open the DDR box for a looksie. I envisioned the one-legged champion who I’d seen crushing it on YouTube … had a moment of inspiration so I ignored the clock, popped in the disc and plugged in the mat for a quick test run.

Six hours later, I saw my mom’s reflection in the slider. I was mid arrow left+down, double right nunchuk … I turned to look at her just as she stopped dead in her tracks and said, “Oh my god,” in a low, serious voice. With one hand over mouth, no doubt an attempt to hold back laughter at the sight of her adult daughter in a sweatsuit, cutting a DDR rug, in her living room. I stepped off the mat and paused the techno beat. I was instantly overwhelmed with fatigue and nausea.

“What time is it?” I asked. I blinked and it stung like tiny pieces of glass were slicing through my eyes.

“Six in the morning,” she said through a chuckle.

I walked to my old bedroom and crashed out. Six hours later, I was woken up by dishes clanging, people laughing, and music pumping — the standard soundtrack at my rents’ house.

I found the fam and some friends already deep into some Wii sports action. There were empty beer cans, glasses of wine, and finger foods everywhere. I saw a pad of paper revealing a pool that my dad created and my aunt was holding an ice pack to her ankle.

Holy $#%! We’ve all lost our minds.

I was pretty sore from my private DDR party, but got suckered into a cold Chelada and a bowling tourney by 1 p.m.

Day 2 was much like the day 1. Wii sports all day, DDR all night. On day 3 I had to slowly roll out of bed, OUCH! My calves were on fire and my right tricep throbbed. I limped to the bathroom and took advantage of the steam. About 15 minutes into a piping hot shower, I thought about how Wii-crazy I’d gone and how I’d really like to spend some one-on-one time with mom. I figured maybe I’d take her shopping or to a movie. I quickly got ready and headed for the kitchen to put on some coffee. I was pleased to find the smell of fresh grinds lingering in the hallway … someone had beat me to it — nice!

Oh, how I wish I had the next minute on video to show you … I’d kill to have it all on tape!!!!

I turned the corner and found my mom standing in front of the 50 inch flatscreen, one Wii controller in her right hand and THE SECOND CONTROLLER IN HER LEFT HAND.

WAIT … WHAT?!

Mom had to get her Wii on so bad that she was actually playing 2 Miis at once?! Yes, I saw it with my own eyes, she was smashing tennis balls … serving AND playing.

SWEET.

She spun around with a face of embarrassment laced with guilt. I BUSTED OUT laughing.

“No one was awake, so I … I thought I’d, I was bored so I just, I — ” she stammered.

“Who’s winning?” I asked. I could not hold in my laughter.

“Oh, shut up,” she said and handed me one of the controllers.

And like that … day 3 began.

Somewhere into day 4 I had another moment of what are Wii doing … uh, I mean we … but everytime the gaming stopped, it never lasted. The “let’s stop moments” were merely time outs.

Some of our family traditions were skipped this holiday … my mom and I usually do some after-Christmas sale shopping, I didn’t make my famous sugar cookies, and my dad never built the fire he does every year on Dec 25th (we were all sweatin’ from the Wii, it was too damn hot). But, now that I think about it, those traditions were not moments lost, they were moments gained.

Rather than spending more money, eating more fatty sweets, and sitting still like a pile of over-stuffed potatoes on the couch … we played as a family, we laughed as a family and hell, we even burned some calories as a family! There is definitely something to be said about that.

Today is day 5 of my new found Wii love. I’m back at work.

WICKED SORE.

But it’s going to be okay …

’cause in just 9 hours …

I’ll be free …

free to Wii.

SWEET.

www.rileysride.com