Re-working of an old post; now even more tasteless!

* * *

“Physics is to mathematics like sex is to masturbation.” —Richard Feynman, a physicist

Let us assume Feynman is correct, and then grossly misinterpret his comparison. That is, as

physics sex

and

mathematics masturbation.

This is not as far-fetched as you might expect or hope.

Read on.

Clearly physics is something many dream about, and some (mostly young men) place posters of its famous idols on their walls, and struggle to “get”; but on getting there they often find it overhyped and more difficult than they expected (damn those inaccurate movies!), and they then end up tied to their choice and doing the same grind over and over again. While co-practitioners often claim they’d like some variety, they equally often find some variations a big turn-off. (“Honey, how about doing it with strings and membranes?”)

Oh, and those that try to popularize their personal proclivities often are regarded with amusement and suspicion by both their fellows and the general public. (Also, as related by Stephen Hawking, there may be problems with sales if one gets too explicit.)

Also, many boast of their prowess in physics, but few really get as much action as they claim. With mathematics, it’s quite the opposite: few boast of it, and even those who do, often do it more than they’re willing to admit. (Also, everyone does it, one way or the other.)

Now, doing mathematics, while not such a hot word on the street as physics, can be mentioned at parties to shock and awe (well, just shock) others, is often claimed to ruin your eyesight, and is generally, though grudgingly, admitted to be good for you but still somehow icky.

Also, it can be done whenever and wherever you want with no equipment except your mind, though more modern practitioners use a computer as well. Some more applied types use other tools, true, but they’re regarded as freaks even by the computer-users.

Mathematics used to be a solitary activity, but nowadays it’s practiced more and more in groups; this and all the associated computer-using tomfoolery have some purists up in arms; outsiders usually don’t want to think about details like this.

Also, while you might get something to show for a good spell of work, it’s not something to brag about on the street, and thus for most doers the rewards are in the pleasurable process itself. (They certainly don’t get paid for their contributions to “trade magazines”; and those magazines seem to generally be published by rather shady types, like Elsevier.)

Honestly, some days I am afraid of myself.

Also: in most bookstores there are many, many titillating books that are more or less about physics, but the books on mathematics, if there are any, are quite invariably dry, dusty and unthumbed. Also, most movies like to hint at physics though they tend to grossly misrepresent it, but few hint at mathematics, and even those that do are often humorous.

And, oh, if you tell someone you’re a mathematician, they often respond with “Oh, it’s a nice pursuit, I’m sure, but I just never got into that myself.”

And then you will be shunned.

(Not tasteless enough yet? How about this: If you do just mathematics, there’s no chance of getting anyone blown up. With physics, it’s one Big Bang and then there’ll be all these little baboons running around.)

Share this: Share

Twitter

Reddit



Facebook

Pinterest



Tumblr

Related