I have barely had time to see my friends lately. Life has been insane and I am so grateful for the quiet after this incredible journey. After Macon Bibb County honored Rick with RICK DEVENS DAY (isn’t that crazy?), I took Jack to our friends’ house to play for the first time in a long time. Amyre and I were talking and totally ignoring the boys (something we used to do regularly) and at 9pm they came into our room and told us it was time to go home and go to bed. They were right. Jack PASSED OUT on the 5 minute drive home and I feel like things are finally settling down. I used to practically live at Amyre’s house. Both of us have been very busy with work lately and then of course SURVIVOR. Being able to hang out and relax and fall into our old groove has reminded me so much of the peace of our normal lives.

The past several months have been amazing. Watching as our friends and family were excited and then disappointed and then excited and then REALLY EXCITED and then REALLY DISAPPOINTED was fascinating. Hearing the views of total strangers on the internet was like its own social experiment. While there has been so much love, the hate has been there since episode one. I reflect back and am shocked at how quickly I got used to it. The first week, I hated all of them. The second week, I decided they were probably 12. The third week, I analyzed their life stories and started to feel bad for them. And by the fourth week, I seriously didn’t care anymore and focused on the love.

It is a little disheartening that human nature seems to tell us to focus more on negativity than positivity. THEN, I noticed people I KNEW saying ugly things about people in the cast. People I KNEW WERE GOOD PEOPLE and it suddenly hit me. These contestants aren’t real to them. They are characters. Most of the commenters aren’t even bad people. It was like a switch flipped in my head. Total euphoria.

Last week was mind blowing. Between Rick getting such an incredible gift from FREAKING SIA and watching him interact with REAL LIFE FANS I felt like I was living in a dream. At the after party, I could not even get to my husband. It was so crowded and every time I tried to get back to him another crowd of people blocked me. They wanted to meet my husband. These people were excited to meet MY husband. SIA LOVES MY HUSBAND.

The moment I met Rick, I knew he was special. I was completely enamored with him. I had never connected with someone so instantly. The conversation flowed so easily and by the end of the night, I knew I wanted to date this guy. What’s funny is I thought it was because he was FOR ME. I think the truth is that almost anyone who speaks to Rick feels comfortable and at ease. He is so approachable and welcoming that it is hard not to feel like you’ve already met and even know each other well. Luckily, I guess he liked me back.

Nine years after meeting him and here we are. At the end of a pretty cool adventure with a little extra money in our pockets. Rick likes to tell everyone that I sacrificed myself for him to go on this. It is true. It wasn’t easy, but I had a lot of help and he is the one who went away all alone for 7 weeks with a lot of people against him. He is the one who didn’t get to see his family or have anyone to confide in. He is the one who stayed *mostly* positive in an unimaginably tough situation physically, mentally, and emotionally. THEN, he came home, immediately went back to work, and carried on as father of the century.

Before this Survivor situation existed, I already occasionally found myself day dreaming about how lucky we were. We had two healthy children, two dogs, a cat, a house, a MINIVAN (only the moms will appreciate this), a supportive family, the best friends in the world, good jobs, a happy marriage, and a partttridddggeee in a pear treeeeeee. Survivor has given me so much perspective on people, a different type of admiration for my husband, new friends I love dearly, and a good chunk of change-but I was already so proud of my husband, my family and my life and so so happy. Survivor made our life a lot cooler, but it was already the coolest to me. Now, I just get to share that with A LOT more people.

Thank you everyone for watching and supporting my Rick Devens. Just having the energy to write tonight feels so good and I will write more about Survivor as things come to me. I read every comment, like, and message and I cannot tell you how much it means to me and how stinking grateful and shocked I am for all the love.