Got a whopping 79% in my 6th sem. I mentioned “whopping” because the last time I got more than 70% was in my 10th board exams. I was happy that time, just to discover later that the entire world had got more marks than me and everyone was greeting me as if someone had passed away in my family. Anyway, that’s a different, more macabre story.

Since I have already got good enough marks, I have decided to pass the tricks to my fellow penitents. It’s a part of social paradigm; you achieve something and then have to start preaching about it to others.

So, here are 5 ways to score good marks in exams:

(1) “Attempt all questions”

You have often noticed this written in instructions on the question paper. Don’t ignore it. This is where your university is giving you the first clue –“Do it and we’ll do the rest”. And that’s how the dude with lots of hot girlfriends and 10% attendance has managed to score better than you. And now that’s what you need to do.

Now wondering how to attempt them all – go to the next point.

(2) “Write. And write in style”

There’ll be questions that you may not know answers to, of course. To answer them there’s a simple trick -

Copy the question onto the sheet, followed by the story of a movie you have recently watched and then conclude the answer by copying the question again.

As simple as that.

Try it, and if nothing, you’ll be awarded marks for attempting the questions.

(3) “Cheat”

Well, The great Wrestler Eddie Guerrero once said “If you are not cheating, you are not trying”. And that’s it. Do it and do it as often as you can. There are a lot of ways of doing it and I assume you probably know them all by now. No matter how many times you have to poke the one sitting in front of you, no matter how many times you have to go to pee, just do it.

Your friends may say you have a chick’s bladder, but on the day of the result you’ll be the one with biggest junk around.

If you’re a girl, don’t worry, no one will ask you anything.

(4) “Draw and draw a lot – bring the artist out”

Irrespective of what’s written in a question or what has been asked, just pick up a keyword/plot from the question and draw diagrams related to it and then explain it in words.

For example – If the question is “Who is Sonia Gandhi?”

Answer – Draw a sketch of parliament house, and then draw a sketch of a sardar on another page, then draw a sketch of Rahul Gandu and then simply describe Sonia as the “Master of Puppets”. You get the drift, don’t you.

(5) “No wasting paper – fill maximum sheets”

You have been provided 40 sheets to work with and incidentally you are not allowed to take those unused sheets home and wipe your ass off with them. So why wasting paper nigga?? Use as many as you can; write on them as much as you can. The environmentalists will thank you and later you’ll thank me.

That’s all folks!!

P.S- There are no spelling mistakes in the above post.