It's been 2 years since Jay Anderson Jr. was killed by a Wauwatosa police officer. His family continues to grieve

Samantha West | Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Like any typical 3-year-old, Jaelyn Anderson seems to be more and more inquisitive by the day.

But what she asks about most is where her dad went — why she can't see him, why he's not there, why his life was taken by a Wauwatosa police officer two years ago.

She'll never understand, it seems — but then, Star Delarosa, Jaelyn's mother, said she won't either.

"The pain ain't never going to go away because she has so many questions about him and talks about him all the time," Delarosa said as tears welled in her eyes Saturday, the two-year anniversary of the day her boyfriend and the father of her child, Jay Anderson Jr., was shot and killed by a Wauwatosa police officer at age 25.

"Two years later, it's still the same, it still hurts," Delarosa said. "It's still just pain."

Family and friends gathered to celebrate Anderson's life Saturday, first with a balloon release at Madison Park, where he was killed in 2016, followed by a picnic at nearby Lindsay Park.

Because the officer who killed Anderson, Joseph Mensah, did not face criminal charges and is still part of the Wauwatosa police force, Linda Anderson, Jay's mother, said feeling any sense of closure or justice is nearly impossible.

Prosecutors determined Mensah's actions were justified self-defense. The incident about 3 a.m. June 23, 2016, unfolded when Mensah approached Anderson's parked car. Mensah said he saw a gun in the car and perceived Anderson to be reaching for it when he roused him.

The family has filed a notice of injury with the City of Wauwatosa, a precursor to a lawsuit.

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"I feel empty all the time," Linda Anderson said. "Because you think of him all the time, and even though we've had therapy and things like that there's still a void."

Sitting at a picnic table with her sister and daughter, Anderson remembered her son as a good man who was funny, hardworking and cared for his family more than anything. He loved to travel and have fun — he loved life itself, Anderson said.

Jay loved to jokingly "stir up trouble" between her and her husband, and he loved when she turned her back while making lasagna so he could steal a bite or two, she remembered, shaking her head and smiling.

Anderson said she wasn't able to make lasagna for a long time.

"He wasn't there for me to say, 'Is your hands clean?' " she laughed.

"He was a big part of this family," added Denise Speed, Jay Anderson's aunt, as she patted her sister's leg, comforting her. "We really miss him, and it was just too soon for him to be gone. Too soon. He was just getting his life started."

"If you knew my son, he's not the type of person who would hurt anybody," Linda Anderson said. "And his life was taken for nothing. He's been taken away from his child and his family, and it hurt."

Although the depth of the loss of Jay never seems to improve, Delarosa said she hopes for something — even if it's just that Mensah is removed from the Wauwatosa force. Or, better yet, a greater sweeping change.

"She (Jaelyn) only got 15 months with her dad. I'm happy she remembers him, but it's not enough," Delarosa said. "I just hope we all can really come together and push to get justice."