But I can’t even process the disjointed dumbfuckery. She blogged something about bringing her car to the shop. Eating a corrupt broccoli salad and a processed clam chowder. Was all up up in arms about the fact that the restaurant flat out said this:

We take freshly harvested broccoli and corrupt it with salty cashews, red onions, smoky bacon, and a sweet tangy dressing. It’s decadent, nutritious and delicious.

So the restaurant is basically saying – don’t kid yourself – this isn’t healthy. But Ragen was pissed about that.

For the record – I did a reverse google image search and I searched that quote – Ragen’s blog is the only result. That phrase has never been captured by google. Nor has the image. But let’s give her the benefit of the doubt, shall we?

Next, she goes on to be morally outraged about ‘processed foods.’ And drops this gem…

Processed food is one of those food moralizing buzzwords, but what does it actually mean? I googled it as I ate my delicious cup of clam chowder with bacon. Technically anything that changes food from its natural state – including cleaning, chopping, heating, cooling, etc could be considered processing.

Not only did she eat a morally corrupt broccoli salad, she is washing it down with a cup of clam chowder with bacon. And claiming that if her clam chowder wasn’t processed, she would be eating raw milk, no butter, no cream, no bacon, no clams (unless they were fresh* and no salt or pepper. And technically, the potatoes would be whole, the clams would be in the shell and everything would be room temperature. Otherwise she would be eating processed foods. It’s all or nothing, yo.

I really am speechless and I am just halfway through this shitshow. Screw clam chowder. Eat a damn clam. On the shell. Go dig for one. Know what you are eating. Know where your food comes from. Practice sustainability. Screw eating a broccoli salad. Eat a fucking piece of broccoli. It’s not about judgement. It’s about knowing what you are putting into your body. Knowing where your food comes from. Food is energy. No more, no less.

But I digress. Let’s get back to Ragen. Because Ragen wouldn’t blog if she didn’t have a villain. In this case, it is in the form of a ‘gentleman who was with a small group at a nearby table.’ And than this conversation happened:

Sorry Ragen – unless you have this on video and have proof? This didn’t happen. You simply don’t seem to understand that nobody gives a shit. Nobody cares. And certainly not enough to argue with you about it. All you are missing from this story is the hot waiter, the free dessert, people clapping and $100.

So just shut up. Nobody is watching you. Nobody cares what you eat. Strangers don’t care if you live a healthy life or eat yourself into an early grave. We are too wrapped up in our own lives to give you more than a pitiful, sorry glance.