1. Atheists really enjoy being smarter and more rational than everyone else. Have you noticed that about Atheists? I have.

Yes, i have too. Why can’t they be all “ignorance is good” and “irrationality is rad”? Why don’t they want to be ignorant instead of knowledgeable?

2. Atheists tend to be haters who don’t believe in anything. You get excited about something cool and they are always all skeptical, asking lots of critical questions, and basically kill the positive energy.

Exactly. Nothing kill “positive energy” than not being gullible. Also what’s that all about not believing in anything except things that have evidence for them like science, physics, love, morals and family? How can they be so closed minded and not believe in ANYTHING?

3. They love reading Reddit.com, which is a perfectly good site, but they get all smug about how Reddit is better than other sites. Like is there some rule that if you don’t worship the real God, you have to worship Reddit instead?!? WTF?

Yes. NO wonder atheist go to the Holy Reddit church every Sunday to give their tithes to the Reddit website God. Remember the Reddit Crusades and the Reddit middle ages? Me neither but boy are those atheists a bunch of idolaters…

4. Atheists love to mock hard working, religious Americans who love their kids, work hard, and go to church.

Yes, because if you work hard, have kids and go to church you should be exempt from all criticisms from your beliefs in bible based gay hating, taking away of women’s rights, racism and class segregation. Those intolerant atheists…

5. Atheists think they are rational and scientific but isn’t it more rational and open minded to say that God *might* exist? Should real scientists keep an open mind?

Yes. Hopefully atheist will open their minds to say god, unicorns, leprechauns, big foot and the tooth fairy all *might" exist. That is what a REAL scientist would do.

6. Atheists are some of the biggest trolls on the Internet. They will probably start trolling me just for writing this post.

True. Why would they troll a post that had no intention to inflame, misrepresent or lie about atheist? Atheists, please….

7. Have you ever known someone who would rather be right than loved? And eventually you are like, “dude, ok, ok, you are right” but you are also thinking “what an a-hole!” That a-hole is almost certainly an atheist.

Right on. Who freaking cares about truth? Please, truth is way overrated. Isn’t love, even if make believe, better? What could be better than conditional love? Remember, if you don’t agree with me even if I am wrong, you are definitely an A-hole.

8. Atheists are the kind of people who enjoy telling small children that Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny are all fake. Thanks for ruining all the fun, atheist! I guess you think a 5 year old knowing “the truth” is more important than them having a happy childhood.

There is nothing better than lying to children. Isn’t that obvious? How can you even imagine kids having fun if you are not lying to them? Apparently atheist don’t know what a happy childhood requires…

9. Atheists are selfish. Instead of praising God for good things that happen in their life, they just praise themselves. Like “wow, I really deserved that raise. Praise myself!”

Yeah. Because all that hard work, dedication, hours spent studying or training had nothing to do with your success, you ungrateful atheists.

10. They just suck. You don’t even need a reason. It is obvious. Just accept it.

Exactly. Just like no reason is needed to believe in god there is no reason to accept atheists suck, but you still should. Take that sucky atheists!!!

*Editorial note:

The 10 point list has to be a Poe. Don’t you think so?

-FA