It’s midnight.

My body’s sore. I’m exhausted.

But I can’t sleep.

It’d be easy to start playing the blame game. I should’ve ran more. The elevation killed me. These girls were bigger and could move the weight better.

But I’m the one to blame. Going into day 3, I had one shot to get back into a qualifying spot. I fought like hell, left it all out on the floor, but it wasn’t enough.

Right now all I want to do is roll out of bed, suit up and hit the hotel gym, sweating through all the events, sweat through them all until I’m too tired to think any longer.

I knew I’d lost during my first set of lunges. Three-fourths of the way down my shoulders just gave out. They just didn’t have anything left. Had this been any other workout, I’d have paced it differently, but this was my last shot and I had to take it.

I laid it all out there.

I have no regrets.

But I failed.

Right now all I want to do is roll out of bed, suit up and hit the hotel gym, sweating through all the events, sweat through them all until I’m too tired to think any longer.

12:01 AM, it’s Monday morning now. It’s day one of training.

“You looked slow.” That’s one of the first things my boyfriend Chris said to me after Event 4.

Ouch, that stung.

Out there on the competition floor, it felt like I was moving so fast.

I went back and studied the videos from every single event. Every. Single. One. They were right. I was slow.

I was slower than I was in practice. I know because I watched all those videos too.

This weekend exposed two gaping weaknesses in my fitness; running and a lack of ability to recover. After the first event of the day, I was completely shot. It was like I was running on empty.

Nobody will ever doubt me going into day three again

The Alexis I know didn’t show up to Regionals, and that’s who needed to be there for all six events, not just two. And now I’m more determined than ever.

I’ll be ready when I step out on that floor again next year.

And nobody will ever doubt me going into day three again.

Training starts today.

See you in 361 days.

Alexis.