WRITER: JODY HAUSER | ART: ROBERTA INGRANATA, GIORGIA ESPOSITA, VALERIA FAVOCCIA | PUBLISHER: TITAN | RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

One of the review blurbs on this latest comics collection from Titan’s Thirteenth Doctor series suggest that the strips ‘continue to brilliantly illustrate the versatility of Doctor Who in comic-book form’. We’re not too sure about that unless the comics they had in mind were the creaky, silly William Hartnell strips published in TV Comic in the 1960s. Seriously, if not for the significantly sharper artwork, there’s nothing in this sickeningly twee collection that we couldn’t imagine the likes of the recently-deceased Bill Mevin illustrating for the comic strip first Doctor and his non-copyright companions John and Gillian. Writer Jody Hauser has undoubtedly caught the tone of the relationship between the Doctor and her ‘fam’ Graham, Ryan, and Yaz, but she’s entirely missed the point of the series as an exciting, dangerous, unpredictable ‘adventure in Space and Time’. Although, there‘s much to suggest that she’s been influenced by the cloying, stifling fairy tale ethos inflicted upon the series by the TV show’s 2010-2017 showrunner Steven Moffat. If you’re looking for Doctor Who with a bit more guts and grit, you’ll need to look elsewhere.

Team TARDIS rock up for a holiday in a futuristic amusement park. Much jollity ensues. Graham is suddenly spirited away by a short-range teleport and he finds himself surrounded by blue-skinned aliens. The Doctor rescues him and as the travellers depart it suddenly becomes apparent that they are all remembering the events of the park in entirely different ways. Someone has been tampering with their memories! They eventually arrive on a wintry alien planet and are quickly surrounded by clockwork toy soldiers who take them into a workshop complex populated by elves busily making toys and a malevolent figure dressed as Santa. But Santa’s workforce are actually captives in the forced employ of the terrible Krampus who plans to send out an army so he can feast on the fear of children… most of which likely to be generated by kids terrified they might be forced to read drivel like this. It all comes to a very jolly conclusion with Yaz wondering if Santa is real, the gang eating Christmas dinner and the Doctor leaving a mince pie and a carrot at the foot of the TARDIS… just in case. Pass the sick bucket.

There’s nothing at all of interest here for Doctor Who fans - even the undiscriminating or the very, very tiny - who like a bit of peril, jeopardy, and drama in their stories. Its toothlessness is especially noticeable now that the series has recovered some of its mojo and started telling stories with real scope, scale, and stakes. It’s hard to give it a pass even as a bit of festive fluff as it brings back memories of those tiresome Moffat-era Christmas specials we all became exasperated with after twenty minutes by which time it had become obvious nothing of interest was going to happen for the rest of the episode. Comics completists and those who prefer Doctor Who on the anodyne side will want this in their collections but apart from admiring the smart artwork and astonishing likenesses of the TV cast, there’s nothing here for anyone with a pulse. A real Christmas-themed turkey.