After writing my last post about one of my biggest pet peeves, calling God “Mother,” I received a comment from a friend that said:

Wow, your tone is usually so irenic. This one has you hot under the collar!

(Yes, take a moment to look up the word irenic as I did, or pat yourself on the back for being a smarty pants.)

I thought about her comment and wondered if my post was too harsh. I usually keep my cool when I write, but I will be honest, this topic really gets my goat.

In the end I concluded that a little steam never hurt anyone, but steam can make issues like this seem black and white when there is almost always just a little more nuance.

The need for a little more nuance was made obvious when I received a tweet from a person who obviously thought she was agreeing with me which said:

Yes. I believe God is male.

This led me to think that maybe it would pay to write a little followup on the nuance surrounding the issue of calling God “Father” instead of “Mother.”

So, here are three things to keep in mind:

1. God Is Not Male: God is not male. Let me say that again. Definitely. Not. Male. He is not up in heaven using power tools and living in a man cave (please excuse that shameless stereotype for the sake of levity). Just because we call God “Father,” as Jesus instructs us, this does not mean that God is male.

From the trusty catechism:

God transcends the human distinction between the sexes. He is neither man nor woman: he is God. (CCC 239)

2. It Is Valid to Speak of the Maternal Aspects of God: Again from the trusty Catechism:

By calling God “Father”, the language of faith indicates two main things: that God is the first origin of everything and transcendent authority; and that he is at the same time goodness and loving care for all his children. God’s parental tenderness can also be expressed by the image of motherhood, which emphasizes God’s immanence, the intimacy between Creator and creature. The language of faith thus draws on the human experience of parents, who are in a way the first representatives of God for man. (CCC 239, emphasis mine).

St. Julian of Norwich once wrote, “Just as God is our Father, so God is also our Mother” (from “Revelations of Divine Love”), indicating that the family, both roles of mother and father, teach us something essential about the relationship God wants to have with us. Even popes, including Pope Francis, have referred to the maternal aspects of God. So obviously, it is ok to speak of the ways in which God is mother to us. However, it is also important to keep in mind, as Father Longenecker rightly points out, God gave us a mother and her name is Mary.

3. Despite the Nuance, “Father” is Still the Closest We Get: Despite the fact that human motherhood and fatherhood will never quite describe the relationship that God wants to have with us, we have been given a word to use from God himself that most accurately describes God’s relationship to us and it is “Father.” When Jesus says, “This is how you are to pray,” he does not say “this is how you are to pray sometimes” or “this is how you are to pray but if the times change and this sounds patriarchal, be sure to disregard me” (Mt 6:9). Christ also made clear in Scripture that he is the Bridegroom of the Church (Jn 3:29, Mk 2:19). The gender analogies throughout Scripture describe God’s relationship to us as overwhelmingly masculine.

This is why, despite the fact that God does not have a gender and it is okay to speak of God’s maternal characteristics, I am still sticking with “Father” and the male pronouns that this title suggests (although I often capitalize the “h” in “Him” to indicate that I am speaking of a God who transcends).

So, this issue, even with a little nuance, still seems pretty black and white to me. I know modern ears hate to hear that, but I don’t see any other way that respects the instructions that Jesus himself gave to us.

Do you?