I grew up in a single parent home. Back then, it was much less common than it is today. Gratefully I did have adults in addition to my mother, who took an interest in my well being and helped care for me. One such person was Mark Gould. He has since passed away, but Mark was like a surrogate dad to me in a lot of ways.

When I was trying to help our family out by learning to change the brakes on our car as a teenager, he came over and showed me how. (He even helped with the first aid that was needed when the spring slipped off and I cut my thumb in the process). He was for me in many ways a mentor.

In a recent workshop I attended with Gerry Robert, he made the comment,

“The right mentor can turn decades into days.”

If this is true, then it would be good for everyone seeking to become better to have good mentors. If we wait for a mentor to come along naturally, we may be waiting a long time. Or worse yet, one may never come along. In light of that, it would make sense for each of us to actively seek the assistance of a mentor.

Here are some strategies for finding and gaining the help of an appropriate mentor.

#1. Look for someone who has already done what you are trying to do.

Advice is cheap, and there is lots of it. Most of it is what you pay for it. If you’re looking to accomplish something, for example lose weight, would you be more interested in learning from someone that has successfully lost weight and kept it off, or someone who is overweight? Once you have identified a potential mentor, then what?

#2. Ask

I am in the process of transitioning from employment to self-employment. For someone who has had the comfort of a regular check for three decades, this is a scary prospect. I realized that in a city not too far from my home, a man who can accurately be described as a serial entrepreneur lives. I realized that he would be a great resource as a mentor. I didn’t have his contact information, but managed to find an email address for the museum he has built there. I was excited to receive a reply from the director of the museum who served as a go between for us for a number of communications. While not as valuable as an in person meeting, it proved to be very helpful. In fact, he was kind enough to send me a copy of a book he had just written on entrepreneurship.

#3. Follow the advice and counsel you recieve

I sat in the audience of a real estate investors meeting once, when the speaker put some detailed information on the screen that most people would not be willing to share publicly. They were details about how he went about his activities as a real estate investor. When someone commented that they were surprised he was sharing such detailed information, his response was, “That’s okay, because almost all of you aren’t going to do a thing with it.” The sad reality is that he was right.

When you’re fortunate enough to find a qualified mentor, and they are good enough to provide you input, then you need to do what they say. Yes, it will probably take you outside of your comfort zone. Yes, it will probably be harder than what you would prefer to do, but if they give you counsel at your request and you talk yourself out of following it because of fear or other rationalizations, then you might as well realize that your relationship with that mentor is over, and it should be. You are wasting their time and yours if you don’t.

#4. A mentor doesn’t have to meet with you in person

Ironically, one of the most impactful mentors in my life died before I even knew of him. Jim Rohn passed away in 2009. I didn’t learn of him until 2015. Fortunately he left behind books and audio programs that continue to be available today. He is not the only person who has books or audio programs that serve the same function as a personal mentor. Take advantage of all such opportunities, if you truly want to reach your full potential.

#5. Be respectful of their time

In the case of a “live” mentor, understand that their time is valuable, and respect it. They’re not there to listen to all of your struggles. Just enough to know where you’re at, so they can suggest your next step or steps.

#6. Thank them

Beyond a verbal “Thank you,” take the time to send them a note, or find some other way to serve them in return.

I will be forever grateful for the impact that Mark Gould had on me as a growing boy. I didn’t think of him as a mentor then, but he was. He chided me when I didn’t live up to my full potential, and he showed love to me in that way and many others.

In adulthood, I have benefited tremendously by the help of mentors, both personal and recorded.

I invite you to realize the benefits of having a mentor to help guide you in your efforts to become more than you are. Take a minute right now to list an area of your life that you’re trying to improve. Now, right down two or three names of persons you know who have already done what you want to accomplish. Once you have that list, put them in order of your preference, and then ask them to help coach you in your efforts. Follow the rest of the steps above, and see how many days, weeks, years or even decades they can help you shave off of your own efforts.

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