If you have an extra $2,000 in your home entertainment budget, consider investing it in the 12-meter AudioQuest Coffee cable. Oh, sure, it’s not for everyone, but online customer reviews report life-changing and scientifically impossible experiences that you just can’t get with your ordinary $5 HDMI cable.

According to one reviewer on Best Buy’s site, their performance surpasses even that of Monster Cable. Is that possible? Evidently.

WOW, just WOW! I mean this cable made my 2D TV a 3D TV instantly…I turned on Toy Story 3 and Woody jumped out of the TV lassoed me and drug me around my living room. Monster who? I’ll never shop at Monoprice again! I’ve wasted at least $100 on HDMI cables in the past 5 years, I wish I would have saved and just bought 5 of these. What’s great about it: Makes 2D, 3D. Fed and pet my dogs. Made 1080P obsolete.

What’s not so great: package was a pain to open

I was about to say that I wouldn’t recommend buying this cable unless it also walks your dogs in addition to feeding and petting them, but then I found this review:

This cable is amazing! I bought two of them, and I use one of them as a leash for my champion show dog that I got from the pound. They used to say she had an overbite, but now all they can do is stare at my amazing AudioQuest Coffee 39.4′ HDMI Cable leash. It makes my dog look so much more amazing, and she now wins EVERY SINGLE SHOW I take her to, before she even enters the ring! They just see that leash and start throwing trophies and blue ribbons and roses at her.

If you’re concerned at the high price tag, don’t worry: another reviewer says that this cable is so beautiful, you won’t need a TV, media player, or even a gaming console. Just staring at the cable is enough to entertain your entire family.

I must say that this thing is truly a work of art. We no longer bother to turn on the TV, instead opting to stare at this wonderment for hours on end. Now we don’t have to risk cable burn in! The kids have given up playing video games, prefering instead to gaze at the beauty of this cable. If everybody had one of these, there would be peace on Earth forever! God bless AudioQuest!

RELATED:

$220,000 Diamond Ring Gets Rave Reviews On Amazon, Sort Of

30 Ways You Can Spot Fake Online Reviews

Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz

AudioQuest – Coffee 39.4′ HDMI Cable – White [Best Buy] (Thanks, Patrick!)