It’s been over two weeks since former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay announced that he has uncovered a “secret memo” from the Justice Department stating that bestiality and pedophilia will soon be made legal.

DeLay has still not released this supposed DOJ document, which he said will legalize “12 new perversions,” but BarbWire columnist A.J. Castellitto is already treating it as a point of fact.

Castellitto writes today that this “secret memo” that no one has seen (except for DeLay, of course) shows that Satan has now taken over the U.S. as the country has become “a spiritual cesspool.”

“I’m sorry to say this, but it’s over,” he writes. “Satan has control.”