Every guy has done it: You're watching TV when some metrosexual nancy boy comes bandying across the screen to the delight of every female in the room. "What's that pussy got that I don't?" is usually the question we're left asking. Unfortunately, the answer is often "a whole lot." For example ...

6 James Blunt

Who Is This Wuss?

James Blunt is the helium-voiced, Jagger-lipped balladeer who burst onto the scene in 2005 with your mom's favorite song, "You're Beautiful." Once his career took off, Blunt could be found every time you turned on your fucking radio or television, including on such rawk-ready shows as Oprah and Sesame Street, where he sang a reworked version of "You're Beautiful" called "Triangles." Jesus tapdancing Christ.

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According to our friend Wikipedia, "You're Beautiful" received massive airplay in the U.K., which helped propel Blunt's debut album, Back To Bedlam, to No. 1 on the U.K. albums chart. This helped unseat Coldplay's X&Y from the pole position, a fact we only mention because those last few words manage to make James Blunt and Coldplay sound even gayer. In short, James Blunt is the kind of guy you'd probably like to punch clean in the face. If he walked into the room, the only thing stopping you would probably be a sense of pity, and possibly the fear of doing some sort of lasting damage to his delicate, child-like frame.

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Why He Owns You:

Have you ever driven a tank? James Blunt has. Before launching a career in leprechaun troubadourism, James Blunt served as a captain in the British Army. Granted, it's the British Army, but you can bet your ass that the training required to make captain involves learning several techniques that would see to it that he could whoop your ass six ways to Sunday before you land a single womanly slap.

To make matters worse (for you), during the war in Kosovo Blunt was put in charge of leading 30,000 troops into the Kosovan capital. So not only could he fuck you up proper, he's the type of dude that people put in charge of ordering around tens of thousands of other men fully capable of doing the same. It should go without saying he leaves a trail of vanquished supermodels in his wake wherever he goes.

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