TOKYO, Japan — Earlier this week, 2004 Cutie Honey movie director Hideaki Anno admitted that some of Evangelion’s symbolism “may have deeper meaning.” This came as a shock to the gathered press who had actually been interviewing Koji Tsuruoka, Japan’s leading negotiator on the Trans-Pacific Partnership.

“Someone had just asked something really complicated about the TPP and I was about to fall asleep,” says Shinji Daijoubu, investigative journalist for Japan’s Doki Doki Times, “when suddenly some bearded guy stood up and started spouting some crap about Christian iconography. What this guy was saying was also pretty complicated so after a minute I fell asleep anyways.”

Those few who were able to stave of sleep throughout Anno’s entire speech recalled that he began by saying “I feel obligated to admit that some of my works may have deeper meaning.”

Anno went on to explain that for years he and his colleagues had denied the allegations that Evangelion is anything other than a poorly funded mecha anime with Christian Imagery to draw viewers’ attention. Laughing, he said, “now people actually believe I only chose the name Evangelion because it sounds complicated. You know what else sounds complicated? Freundschaftsbeziehung, the German word for friendly relation.”

Anno went on a 45-minute tirade about the show’s many clear allegories and how they drive the characters and influence the show’s message. “It is not by pure chance that the Eva units are derived from an Angel named Adam,” he said, “any moron should be able to tell this references Adam and Eve. Evangelion Unit-01 standing as the final testament to humanity’s existence and Eve being one of the first humans in the Bible is not just coincidence. Then there is Lilith who is suffering on the cross pieced by the Lance of Longius, how much more obvious do I need to be?”

Journalists who have spoken to Anno since the incident report that Anno has been indirect in explaining his outburst, “Don’t expect to be catered to all the time,” Anno told Anime Maru. “We all have to find our own answers. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am very busy not working on the final Evangelion film.”

Fan reaction to this revelation has been mixed. “I thought Anno’s analysis of the show was extremely interesting. I didn’t really understand it at all, but I’m sure I can use something he said to prove Asuka is best girl,” Jason “Azukafag94” Roesch told Anime Maru. Other fans were not as interested in Anno’s opinions. JibrilFan343 said, “Who the fuck cares! Personally, I only watched the films in the first place because they made those great razor blades.”

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