Seen here about to be tested on a very rare pork loin (DAMMIT I SAID MEDIUM RARE) New York University student Joe Landolina demonstrates Veti-Gel, the magical blood stopping formula he invented with NYU grad Isaac Miller. Allegedly the stuff can even stop the bleeding in the event of a punctured organ, something I don't wish on anyone but my top three worst enemies. Make it top five.

The lifesaving goo is an artificial version of something called the extracellular matrix, which makes up the connective tissue that helps hold animal bodies together.

"We use plant-derived versions of the polymers that make up your skin," the whiz kid said. "If they go into a wound, they build on existing polymers. It's like it tells your body to stop bleeding."

Hey -- whatever saves lives. If somebody stabs me I don't care what you jam in the wound as long as it isn't penises and I live to see another day I'm fine with it. Oh, and ideally something that won't cause cancer in five years, but again, beggers can't be choosers. Asbestos, good choice.

Hit the jump to watch the gel in action.

Thanks to Mr. T, who pities the fool with a gushing wound.