BUT THAT WAS ALL A DREAM…

As all the major soccer news outlets have reported, Nashville was an abject failure in the stands and unfortunately, a laughing stock across the country. Once the dozen or so committed supporters began noticing how alone they were, emergency online meetings were held to discuss how they could downplay the significance of their pre the the the MLS seasons. I was sent anonymous screenshots from WhatsApp conversations and private Facebook groups from an insider (Hi, if you’re reading), showing how frayed and dismayed they had become. The fans they did have refused to travel, refused to engage in honest and healthy discussion, or simply deflected all criticism with no moments of introspection. The fever pitched and unhinged reactions to Kevin’s spirited blog post were not an aberration, but an honest reflection of when the beautiful game turns ugly.



THE MAJORS:

The march to the the the the MLS had become a free-fall into madness. The scattered “group” of remaining fans lashed out at innocent bystanders; whining and pleading to be left alone. While critics would say FCC had their own issues to focus on, leading a movement means never leaving the most helpless and pathetic behind. We had perfected the role of supporter, and although it would have minimal impact on the field, it shone as a beacon of inspiration to the lifeless, muffled yelps heard two states below. Growing the sport was far too important a task for us not to reach out a hand and attempt to inspire the withering strands of coarse rectal hair, tightly woven between cheeks and blocking the necessary bowel movements. And you wonder why they’re so full of shit? Folks…

The season is approaching rapidly, and Nashville has tried to shake the zen like trance of USL nothingness into something vaguely resembling excitement. They’ve signed Dax McCarty’s head and several other players with names and numbers. They’ve kept their USL head coach Alan Koch to shore things up on the field, but with Nissan stadium being roughly 45 minutes from downtown, they’ll be hard pressed to get more fans in the gate than last year, even with a successful product. This isn’t a slight on Nashvillians, but the allure of their famous Beale Street is difficult for anyone to resist on a Saturday night. Can they shock the world and prove the overwhelming consensus wrong? Only time will tell…



THE CONCLUSION:

“Write about your own team!” I hear the people exclaim. But how many articles can you write about Old Faithful? She gushes, goes dormant, and gushes again. You can set your watch to it. So just relax, Cytherea. FCC is a known entity, solid and true. We are firm and resilient. We are rock hard and saluting the troops. They’ll be a time soon when we will write about our ascent to glory, but not today. Today is for the dreamers, the visionaries, and yes, the embarrassing. There are no atheists in a foxhole, and I’m afraid there are no fans in Nashville.

War Fiddle, Impeach Doolsta and God bless The MLS.



