ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A gifted and talented youngster at Saint Brett’s Cathedral School in Betoota Heights has told The Advocate this afternoon that even after he aces his high school leaving exams and his university degree, he’s still optimistic about failing to live up to the high expectations his friends, family and community have placed on his shoulders.

Oscar Dennis, son of prominent local barrister Dennis Dennis SC, sat down with our reporter and discussed what he wants from life and what life is like now for the 17-year-old dork.

“I can half-arse everything and still come out on top,” he said.

“Which isn’t a very good life lesson. Maybe the real world will be much tougher than what life is now, here in this stinking hot hell hole in the desert,”

“If it becomes engrained in me that I can succeed without effort, it’ll ruin my life. To be fair, though. A lot of my classmates must’ve been deprived of oxygen at birth or something because some of them are old fashioned dumb. Like burning your hand repeatedly on a bunsen burner dumb. Anyway, I’m not expecting much from life. That’s me, anyway.”

Our reporter spoke to a number of the overly-polite and eager to please Sagittarius’ teachers about his project and where they see him heading in the future.

Oscar’s English teacher, Denice D’Kahlua, told The Advocate that her expectations are high – much like all of Oscar’s other teachers.

“We’re expecting him to be our local member, at the very least,” she said.

“But to be honest, we’re hoping he becomes a barrister like his dad, or a surgeon. Maybe even an author? He seems to be good at everything he tries,”

“We’re so proud of him here at St Brett’s. He’s a real superstar.”

However, when our reporter asked the odd-looking kid what he wanted to do with his life, he said he didn’t know.

But one thing he does know is that nobody has ever really asked him that before.

“I just want to be happy,” he said.

“Can I be happy without being successful? Can you please tell me? I don’t even know what to think anymore.”

More to come.