Day 49: Probably Means Nothing

"Well, you're in a much more chipper mood this week."

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose, "Please never use the word 'chipper' to describe me ever again."

"How about swell?" He replies with that same annoying optimism I've grown used to. Maybe "used to" isn't the right phrase, it's more like I've begrudgingly accepted it.

I sigh, blowing an unruly strand of hair off of my nose, "Look I'm doing okay, alright? If you want to use a word to describe how I'm doing, then there it is. I'm okay."

Olaf begins writing on his clipboard, there's two snowflake stickers on it now. "Anna Reinhart is doing okay," he narrates, "And does not like the use of the words 'chipper' or 'swell'." It's been weeks now, and at this point, I've done enough of these check-ins to know that he's fucking with me. He's an idiot, but he's not oblivious.

"Can we just get this over with, please?" I tell him.

"Ooh, what's up? You got a date? A cute date? Are you guys going to brunch? I love brunch!"

Of course he does. "If by date, you mean going back to sleep- and if by brunch, you mean having a pizza delivered to our room- then yes. It's 9 in the morning, you already know I hate waking up this early." Which I do, but he doesn't need to know that I'm also tired because Elsa and I spent last night watching cheesy action movies.

It's weird how much we've been getting along since she told me about the Mystery Bitch™. The only new information I've learned is that I was the best out of her exes to...you know, but that's more than enough for now, I guess. The past few weeks we've been spending more and more time together and we've kinda settled into a schedule. Mondays and Wednesdays she spends a lot of time outside the room because of therapy and whatever other Elsa business she gets up to, and then I usually spend a couple random days out of the week outside the room entirely. When I get back from the gym, or she gets back from the library, we've started spending time together in the room.

It's a new normal, a weird one.

She doesn't open up much about her therapy sessions, and I know better than to push her too hard about that. I wonder if Olaf knows about them? And what has Elsa been telling him about us?

"So tell me about you and Elsa."

I blink, "Wh- I'm sorry, what?"

"How have you and Elsa been getting along this week?" Olaf asks as he crosses one leg over the other.

"Aren't you supposed to ask me about the room first?"

He shrugs, "Sometimes I like to mix things up."

"Bullshit, you just like fucking with me."

"I can neither confirm nor deny that," Olaf says with a cheeky, close-eyed smile. "Besides, were you even gonna tell me anything else this week besides how lumpy the pillows are?"

"...me and Elsa are just fine."

To my relief, he isn't all smug about getting me to answer his question. He scribbles on his clipboard and nods like he's having a conversation with himself. "Any complaints?" He asks.

Uh...I don't really know how to answer that. I can't really complain about how we're spending more time together, and I can't complain about how she still doesn't really talk to me. I can't complain about this weird spot that we're in right now, because I'm not sure what I want from us. Does there even have to be an us? Does there need to be a label? We could stay how we are now, I'm sure that will get us through the rest of the year, but this new normal still feels fragile.

Like one fuck-up from her or me (probably me) will have everything crashing down again. I don't know, this whole living situation is still all kinds of weird and life would be so much easier if we were already at Day 365. Life would also be easier if me and Elsa had never broken up in the first place. Wait that doesn't sound right. I like where my life is at right now...at least I should. I get to live in a huge-ass tower, don't have to work at a shitty bar anymore, and I can eat all the soup, roast, and ice cream that I want and not feel guilty about it. Life is good for me right now, but life was good for me then too...

Anyway, those don't sound like complaints, it'd sound more like venting. And I am not going to spend my Sunday morning venting to a squirrely guy in an untucked white shirt. Besides, this check-in's gone on long enough.

"No. No complaints. I just want to go back to sleep." I rub my eyes with my palm to show him that.

Olaf marks his clipboard a couple times and makes happy, little noises with each scratch of his pen. What a weird guy, you would think Mr. Arendelle would have someone less...weird to be doing these check-ins. But whatever, there's a reason why he's a billionaire, and I have to keep making excuses for why my rent's late each month.

"Then you and Elsa are still comfortable with these living conditions? No need for a release form?"

"Not from me. You'd have to ask Elsa if she wants one."

He raises an eyebrow, "Do you think she'd want one?"

I frown, "Kinda feels like you're going off-script."

"You don't have to answer that, I was just curious." Sure he was. "I've been working with you both for almost two months now, I was hoping to get to know the two of you better."

I raise an eyebrow, "That sounds like you think we're gonna stick around long enough for you to get to know us," I reply, trying to fish for more information.

Thankfully for me, he's pretty transparent. "Of course! I like you guys, and think the two of you must have made a really great couple! We haven't had one of those in a while, so it's nice to finally have two people here that I enjoy checking up on." This is maybe the fifth time that he's brought up how good of a couple we must have been, and that's five times too many. The strength I have to resist hurting him is amazing. I can't say the same for this pillow on my lap though.

Maybe I should tell him to replace this one too.

"And what if I don't want to tell you anything about me?" I ask him.

"That's okay too," he replies. If he's offended by that question, then he doesn't show it. "I know that you and Elsa are very different people. Just because she opens up, doesn't mean that I should expect you to."

"Wait, what? What does she say?" Ugh, I didn't mean to ask that. Curse my inability to hold my tongue at the worst possible times.

"Nope! Can't tell you."

Great job Anna, you just blue-balled yourself. "Does she talk about me?" I ask him hopelessly.

"That is classified, madame."

"Oh come on, you gotta tell me something."

"Why do you want to know so much?"

"I don't, but you're the one that made me curious and said that Elsa talks to you. I just wanna know if she talks about me, that's all. Just give me like something. Does she think I suck? Does she want to move out?"

"Anna, I feel like these are questions you should be asking her."

"But she-" I stop, finally realizing that my tone is getting way too aggressive. Plus, the poor pillow's got another few loose threads from my fingernails digging into them. And damn it, he's got a point. I didn't realize how much I wanted Elsa to actually talk to me until now.

But why? Why do I care so much about what she thinks of me? We're not dating, so it doesn't really matter that much. And being friends with your ex still sounds like a horrible idea to me, because...well now I don't really know anymore.

What do I know anymore?

Wow, it did not take much for me to go through an existential fucking crisis. I need to go back to sleep.

I shake my head, "Look it doesn't matter. We're fine, my pillows still suck, and I still want to live here. Check-in done now?"

"Mmhmm, I've got all the information that I need," Olaf says like I didn't just interrogate him for information about Elsa. "Would you mind getting-"

I'm already up and out of my seat and going towards her the door. "I know the drill."

Oh, and there's one thing I forgot to mention to Olaf- and by forgot, I mean that I was never going to tell him. Instead of getting each other's new numbers or something like normal people would do, we've adopted another way of seeing if one of us is in the room. Well, it's more accurate to say that I've adopted it.

I raise my fist to her door and do the thing: one knock, two knocks in quick succession, and then two final knocks spaced out from each other. It sounds way more cutesy in person. And dorky. So of course Elsa was the one that came up with it. Why did I start doing it? Because I was too lazy to come up with my own signal.

I see Olaf raise an eyebrow and grin, to which I just roll my eyes in response. A couple seconds later, Elsa's door opens and she greets me with a smile like I just showed up with her pizza all over again. I hate that my mind immediately goes to that memory.

She's wearing a solid pink tank top and jeans. Damn. She told me that she hasn't cut herself since that day at the park, and I believe her, but it's discouraging to see that she's still wearing jeans.

"Thanks," Elsa says as she closes her door. "Oh, um...do you...want to go watch a movie or something later? If you're not busy, of course."

It takes a little bit for me to register that she asked me a question, when it does I just sort of make weird throat-clearing noises and shake my head. "What? Uh, sure. Sure, I- yeah that sounds fine. Sorry, I had kind of a late night."

"I know."

Uh...hmm. The way she says that makes me know that she doesn't mean anything by it, but damn if my head doesn't come up with a million reasons why she said those two words. I want to ask her more, but she's already sitting on the couch before I can make more words come out of my face.

That's fine though, it's not like this'll be the last time I talk to her today. After all, we're going to go watch a movie together.

...we're going to go watch a movie together.

Together.

She asked if we could watch a movie together.

That probably means nothing.

A/N: Frozen 2 was fucking amazing. I cried. I've already seen it twice.