Megachurch founder Rev. Ted Haggard is profiled in the new GQ (read the full profile here). Talking Points Memo includes some of the more memorable quotes from the man who once chased our current guest blogger Richard Dawkins off his church grounds.

About former meth dealer and escort Mike Jones, Haggard says: "We never had sex sex. I bought drugs and a massage from him, and he masturbated me at the end of it. That's it."

He admitted to buying drugs "five or six times" from Jones, but adds: "Sometimes I'd throw it away. Other times, I'd go someplace and masturbate and use it. But it was for masturbation. And that's one of the reasons why I haven't been real clear. I don't want to stand up publicly and say, 'Hey, I'm a masturbation guy!"

"You know, that's really the core issue here," he added. "I bought the drugs to enhance masturbation. Because what crystal meth does–Mike taught me this–crystal meth makes it so you don't ejaculate soon. So you can watch porn and masturbate for a long time."