7am: Sherwood sits down for breakfast and pours himself a healthy bowl of cornflakes. Like everyone else, he positions the packet in front of him so as to read the various blurbs on the packaging. Halfway through the meal, he feels his heart rate racing, his blood pressure increasing and his skin begins to tingle with adrenaline and oxytocin. He is thrilled, excited and delighted to note that the new recipe has been voted, ‘our best ever cornflake recipe,’ ever since they made a few changes to the ingredients. He can honestly not remember feeling happy or more confident in his entire life. Everything, he means everything, is as it should be. All is in its right place.

7.15am: He takes his bowl to the sink to wash it up, where he sees a mug on the draining board with a post-it note stuck to the side. It’s an oversized mug with, ‘World’s Best Dad,’ on it - a present from his children. Sherwood convulses with raw emotion, so touched is that he is the world’s very best father. He is elated, and bounds through the house, to the bathroom, with a spring in his step. He almost visibly glows.

Premier League How Battle of the Bridge descended into chaos and crowned Leicester champions 02/05/2020 AT 19:59

7:32am: The morning routine almost becomes too much for Sherwood when he notes not just the awards his shampoo has been awarded from various cosmetic organisations, but also sees that his new toothpaste promises the whitest teeth ever. There comes a moment where he wonders if he really needs to go to work. Perhaps, he muses, simply staying at home and enjoying such amazing luxury is all he ever needs for the rest of his days.

9:32am: Sherwood wants to make the most of the international week, what with his job being under pressure. To his mind, he cannot remember any manager - domestic, continental or international - having been under more pressure than he is under this precise moment. He cannot believe that anyone else could have dealt with the incredible expectations at Aston Villa anywhere close to the manner he has managed it. He has handled the situation in a way that is second to none.

12:05pm: Sherwood goes for a lunch break, knowing that he has to keep his mind well fed in order to function at its very peak. Today is a special day when it comes to lunch, though. After extensive research, Sherwood has discovered the very mildest cheddar on sale anywhere in the world. Most mild cheddar is aged for a month or two, but after three years of scouring the globe, he has secured a block of cheddar that is merely waved in the direction of a cellar once it has set. It is the greatest cheese he has ever tasted, and he eschews the exotic frippery of butter in the sandwich. Two slices of white, and two slices of luxury, tasteless cheese. He is in heaven.

12:54pm: He almost goes to pieces when his PowerPoint presentation crashes without him saving progress on the most inspirational slide he has ever written. This is, he considers, the absolute, very, totally worst moment of his career. Injuries, sackings, red cards and retirement, he has never felt as low as this single moment when he has to restart PowerPoint and find that picture of a lion to copy and paste again. He counts on all of his inner strength to finish the majority of the presentation, ready for the return of the players for their next two games. He decides to finish it off after watching England play.

7.45pm: He sits down to watch the England-Estonia game, but unfortunately misses the first half an hour after sobbing uncontrollably after watching the players sing the national anthem. He cries half because those who are singing touch him with the most emotional rendition he has ever heard, making the proudest he has ever been, and cries half because he has never been lower, more upset or ashamed of his country when he sees that some players choose not to sing the anthem. It gets to him like this every time England play, and he is only just recovering from the last international weekend. He makes a note to send Joe Hart some of his cheddar.

10:10pm: He finishes all the cheddar after not being able to resist its bland charms. The almost-waxiness, the almost-crumbliness, the almost-tang and the almost-lactose sweetness combine to make the almost-tastiest cheese in the world. He gets to his iPad and orders two more kilos of it. In his hurry and excitement he forgets that he needs to finish off his PowerPoint for the players’ return and goes to bed excited but with an indefinable sense he has forgotten something, but is at least confident that at least, with this cheese, he shouldn’t have any more unsettling dreams where he’s asked to play 4-2-3-1, or take a ferry to France.

Premier League Leicester City: The greatest underdog story of all 02/05/2020 AT 07:10