Liberals Turn To Tried And True Strategy Of Boycotting Delicious Fast Food

U.S.—Democrats are turning to a sound strategy that’s worked wonders for them in the past: declaring boycotts of beloved restaurants serving delicious food.

Liberals just decided to perform their quarterly duty of boycotting Chick-fil-A. "You know it's effective because of how many people go eat there in the weeks after we announce the boycott," said one liberal Twitter activist. "That just shows we're really starting a conversation.

While liberal activists have previously called for boycotts of Chick-fil-A, a move that proved to endear Americans to their cause, Eric Bauman, the chair of California’s Democratic Party, last year decided to take things one step further and boycott In-N-Out, a maneuver that’s sure to win over the hearts and minds of the American people.

“This has always worked wonders for us in the past,” Bauman said. “There’s nothing that makes our cause look more appealing than declaring beloved American pastimes like tasty burgers and fries as problematic the instant we catch a whiff of a restaurant not being on board with the platform of the Party.”

Millions of Americans rallied to the cause right away, proving that the move was a savvy political maneuver and definitely not a case of petty virtue-signalling.

At publishing time, Democrats had called for a boycott of Chevrolet, baseball, and apple pie.

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