The "Herman Cain Train" has derailed from its tracks, blown up, and brutally killed all the people inside. Meaning: Herman Cain is not likely to win the Republican presidential nomination! But since he's still running anyway, what should he talk about? How about impeaching Barack Obama, the red-meat throwers' ultimate expression of hitting rock bottom.

The first thing you need to impeach President Obama is for President Obama to commit an impeachable offense, such as getting a blowjob from a fat lady and then lying about it in testimony for a separate civil suit. So far, President Obama has received no such hummers that we know of. What else, then? How about... oh, we've got it: That time he made an executive branch decision to not enforce the third part of a dated law. And what about that health care law that Congress passed and Obama signed? That's gotta be an impeachable offense there, signing a law that Congress passed. Here's Cain:

"That's a great question and it is a great - it would be a great thing to do but because the Senate is controlled by Democrats we would never be able to get the Senate first to take up that action, because they simply don't care what the American public thinks. They would protect him and they wouldn't even bring it up," Cain said, citing the administration's position on the Defense of Marriage Act as an impeachable offense. More from his answer: "So the main stumbling block in terms of getting him impeached on a whole list of things such as trying to pass a health care mandate which is unconstitutional, ordering the Department of Justice to not enforce the Defense of Marriage Act - that's an impeachable offense right there. The president is supposed to uphold the laws of this nation … and to tell the Department of Justice not to uphold the Defense of Marriage Act is a breach of his oath. … There are a number of things where a case could be made in order to impeach him, but because Republicans do not control the United States Senate, they would never allow it to get off the ground."

So not only is he calling impeachment a "great idea," but then he doesn't properly explain how impeachment works: The House takes up impeachment on its own initiative, and if successful, the case goes to the Senate for a trial. Why not impeach Obama in the House to get your position on the record, at least, if it's such a great idea?

On a side note, the only reason that this House of Representatives has't impeached the president over one thing or another — Libya, maybe? — is because there's a bad economy. When Bill Clinton was presiding over a booming economy in 1998, House Republicans needed something to run on in the midterms, so they impeached the gross Democratic president for being so gross. If Obama wins a second term and the economy actually recovers, they'll impeach him for spending the money they'd already appropriated, or something.

[Image via AP]