What will Jack and Jill do while their parents go to Europe...

What will Jack and Jill do while their parents go to Europe this summer?

The 5 fun ways the kids are already planning to spend their summer in your penthouse and expense account…

Well, let’s cut to the chase, Jack and Jill are horny, thoroughly corrupted by the current cultural domain (or the lack of one) and have been waiting lustfully for the opportunity to get their hands on your suite. You probably think the kids are all just going to watch TV, go camping and have well tamed lunch parties. Loser- let’s get to the truth, and find out what the kids have got planned as soon as your ass is flying over Charles de Gaulle Airport.

First fun activity Jack and Jill are planning to do-

1/ Bring all their cool friends from the Jane st Hotel and convince them them doing ‘blow’ in the lavatory at Jane st is hardly as much fun as doing long ‘fun’ lines on ‘daddy’s’ prized desk with sweeping views of Central Park.

2/ Finally find the courage to invite the ‘nerd’ from facebook over for a tantalizing session of ‘let’s catch up on summer homework.’ Of course there will be a revised definition of what ‘homework’ actually means…

3/ Jack and Jill this summer for two long weeks will host their own reality show out of your apartment called- “Jack and Jill get dirty on Park Avenue.’ Special guest hosts may include Adrien Field and Devorah Rose, assuming you’re photogenic enough…

Expect to see disgruntled but (nearly) good looking pre- adolescents assuaging their pedigree, their plight into investment banking and high ranking modeling careers, and how they manage to be brilliant and make it to a guest of a guest picture series on a daily basis (yes we know it’s a hard slog- but these kids have tenacity)

4/ Will invite a prominent personality from the Upper East Side – someone like Kristian LaLiberte where they will exchange phone numbers and think of fun things to say to each other and how to concoct clever ways to becoming an uber celebrity like Kristian at only the tender age of seventeen. We think Kristian will manage to inspire the kids….

5/ Invite prominent editors like us (yes we are open for bribes) to come and write feature length stories about their lives as ‘angst but photogenic pre adolescents destined to do good things, host reality shows alongside Kristian, and eventually run their own fantastic blog like us.

This in short are the top things we are certain to see come to fruition now that mom and dad are in Marthas Vineyard, on their trial separation or quick jaunt to the Hamptons.

After all ‘kids will be kids’ and Jack and Jill are very savvy kids to be sure…