A heartbroken yet hopeful nation watched as foster daughter Namita Kaul Bhattacharya performed the last rites of former Prime Minister A B Vajpayee's on Friday evening. Heartbroken to see the political leader go, yet hopeful that another taboo for women had bitten the dust.

Traditionally, Hindu women are not permitted to do the last rites, and considered too frail to even go to the burial ground. To set parents on their final journey is one of the duties of a son, even if he was far from dutiful when they were alive or simply thousands of kilometres away.

In the absence of a son, a distant male cousin qualifies for the task. But a growing number of women are defying this convention.

Says Diya Chowdhury, a communications professional based in Delhi, "I lit the funeral pyre of my mother, and I am going to do it for my father. I am the only daughter, and my parents and I strongly believe that I am no less than a son."

Last year, some women started a campaign on social media with the hashtag #mydaughterwill to urge parents to let their daughters be a part of their final send-off.

Not everyone needs convincing. A few years ago when P Madhu Nair, a retired military man from Omalloor village in Pathanamthitta district in Kerala, expressed his desire to have his funeral pyre lit by his daughters, there was an uproar in the family. "People said I was depriving myself of moksha but I strongly believe that denying funeral rites to daughters is nothing but orthodoxy. My daughters will light mine," P Madhu says.

He is certain that the battle his daughters face will not be an easy one in a village where rules dictate dress code, entry to the local temple, and even how and when to eat.

Sharwari Waingade from Maharashtra's Hupari village is full of regrets at not standing her ground. She and her sister wanted to perform the last rites for their father but were pushed aside. One of the male relatives finally lit the pyre. "When I was watching Namita lighting the pyre, I felt that I should have shown guts," she says in a choked voice.

Many point out it’s easier for urban folks like Namita Bhattacharya and Pankaja Munde (she did the last rites for her father and BJP leader Gopinath Munde in 2014) to break with tradition.

And they’re probably not wrong. Last month, a Regar family in Rajasthan’s Bundi district was ostracised after four girls of the family lent their shoulder to their father’s bier and lit his pyre. The village panchayat boycotted them and no one offered them food after the ceremony.

Mukta Dabholkar, daughter of slain rationalist Narendra Dabholkar who did his last rites, says it is time to question these dogmas. “Women are treated as impure and secondary in almost every male-dominated culture. We have to question and break these irrational traditions,” she says.

