tashabilities:

gluten-free-pussy:

Honestly like I know the black community likes to joke about getting whooped by their parents when they were young but like we really need to talk about how we’ve normalized abuse. For me, my turning point was when I was at work one day. So there was this little black girl no older than like maybe 3-4 and she was playing with her doll next to my folding table. So at the time I had blue ombré hair so kids used to love coming up to me and commenting on it and also for whatever reason, children and sometimes small animals will just approach me so I’m used to it.

Anyways, so the little girl accidentally knocked over a couple of tshirts and her mom started yelling at her and telling her to come here. Her mom basically said “I told you to stop playing, now come here!” And held out her hand like she was ready to hit her.

So the little girl ran behind me and said “I’m sorry I’m bad, I’m sorry I’m bad! I not mean it! Help please!” And like I almost started crying because this little girl was just being a child and had no context for why she was about to be hit.

Like that isn’t okay and I feel like we need to start having actual discussions on proper child rearing and not just going by what your parents and their parents used to do (because to be honest, a lot of them didn’t know shit)

Dr. Joy DeGruy’s Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome addresses why we do this.



We were traumatized during slavery, and just passed down what was done to us.



We were all raised by traumatized people!



WHO hit us when we “misbehaved”?



WHO killed our babies and threw them to the alligators?



Even AFTER slavery,



WHO lynched us for stepping “out of line”?



That’s also why respectability politics are what they are in our community as well,



Because life and death actually depended on being ‘good’ and ‘respectable’ and ‘well behaved’.

Grandma beat Daddy for running around the store,



Cause “I’ll get to him and correct him before YOU do, Mr. White Man.”



Daddy then beat us for being children in public.



And then we had kids.



Just passing down the trauma, not even understanding WHERE we got it from.



Dr. Joy’s work is transformative.



That video I linked is the best hour and 49 minutes you’ll spend all year.



