I am an exmuslim. I didn’t leave to drink. I didn’t leave to date. I didn’t leave for the sake of simply leaving. These are all things I have been accused of leaving for, from my closest friends to strangers who think they have a right to judge something they know nothing about.

I have been accused of being an islamphobic by islamic apologists at university who know nothing about islam but what is discussed in the media. I have been accused of betraying my family by people who have no idea of what I have lived through. I have been accused of misrepresenting the religion of peace by people who have never read the Quran once. I have been accused of being immature by people who have no idea what I have suffered through.

Islam is and will always be a crux in my life. Islam is what I was raised with for the first 18 years of my life until I discovered I could no longer believe in the space of a month. I could no longer believe in it, it wasn’t an option. Oh how I wish it was an option to believe in it. Believing in Islam would have made my life so much easier. It was a set of rules that if followed would guide you straight into heaven. It was the belief that there was a higher power up there which made all the disappointments in my life okay. It was the belief that everything that happened for a reason that helped me live through some of the worst moments of my life. But in the space of a month I went from devoutly religious to declaring my disbelief to my closest friends.

The truth is Islam is not a religion of peace. But it is neither the evil that some people make it out to be. The truth is Islam is just simply no longer relevant for a society that isn’t based in the 7th Century.