Last week I was off for the holidays, but my girl had to go to work on the day after Christmas. She’d forgotten to bring a lunch, and she works downtown where everything is overpriced for the most part. So I decided to spontaneously bring her something and chill with her on her break (so romantic right). Anyway, her building is right next to Peet’s Coffee so we went there.

The table we sat at was in the back right near the bathroom. It’s getting close to the time that she has to get back to work and the place is getting pretty crowded. A line starts to form for the bathroom near our table. So we’re carrying on with our convo and being cute or whatever, having a moment. And this white lady walks up to my girl and just puts her hand in my girl’s hair…she didn’t even say hello first. My girl’s hairstyle is like these really big curls. It’s super cute. The lady just grabs at it and says “Ugh, your hair is so beautiful.” I was legit in shock. Like people really do that? Like grown ass adults? I dealt with it mostly when I was younger and with people I know or at least acquaintances. But never have I seen a complete stranger do it without even saying hi first.

I’m sure my face showed my disgust and shock. And my girl was so nice about it. I expected her to pop off but she said thank you. What trips me out the most is that the lady (probably feeling the tension and our discomfort) says, “Oh I know I probably shouldn’t touch it. I’m sorry it’s so nice.” So if you know then why would you???? I was sooo confused. That made it even worse to me. Like she’s well aware of the implications, but still decided to do it? My girl responds saying, “Yeah people usually just don’t touch it,” in the nicest but also firmest way. We dipped soon after because the lady was still standing there waiting to use the restroom. It was so awkward and weird and I felt like we both didn’t process it until after we left.

Like wow. White folks really out here just groping black people’s hair without acknowledging the person first. The audacity.