Wow, I went back and read my blog posts from 2013 and I am shocked and utterly appalled!!!

I’m glad that I write when I’m hurting. (I’ve always kept a journal of some sort).

The reason why I’m glad is because I can always go back and see what made me into the person that I am today. Writing and then reviewing my writings years later is better than pictures, to me. (Though I would be an emotional wreck if I lost any pictures from my past lol).

Though I never shared it publicly, I created a blog site in 2013, in reference to the roller coaster ride that my ex-husband was taking me on. (He’s from Africa, that’s all I’ll say). But, when I was married to my 1st husband, who was Muslim, I used to “blog” too. Back in those days, it was just called journaling though lol. I also wrote a lot of angry poetry too.

I realized that a lot of my emotional trauma is similar with both of these assholes! I sure know how to pick’em, huh?! What the FUCK??? I guess I didn’t learn the first time, but I definitely learned on the second go-round.

In both my marriages, I was being psychologically abused and I didn’t even know it.

But, my second marriage took the cake! I thought I was going crazy!

My second ex-husband (from Africa) was an excellent manipulator. He often had me questioning my own sanity by suggesting that I was imagining things when his words or actions didn’t add up. One of his favorite lines was “that never happened”; when it clearly did. Or another one of his favorites: “See, that’s the thing with you…”. Obviously, his intent was to flip it back to me so I would feel guilty.

His best manipulation tactic, by far was the silent treatment. If we had even the smallest disagreement, he would ignore me for hours or days and I would literally beg him to talk to me, but he would continue to ignore me because it made him feel powerful. He’d eventually come back in a good mood, like nothing happened which left confused for lack of closure. This went on throughout our entire relationship.

By the end of our marriage, I was unrecognizable to myself and to my family. It wasn’t until I left him that I began researching his extremely bizarre behavior and what I found was the answer that I had been asking myself the whole time we were together. “What is wrong with this man?” He is a narcissist. Below are some traits associated with these sick individuals:

No regard for others

No shame

Extreme lack of empathy

Blame-shifting

Rushes lovers into serious relationships

Withholding affection or support

Hijacking conversations – loves to talk about themselves

Difficulty taking feedback

Strong sense of entitlement or superiority

Won’t validate your achievements

Pathological lying

Frequently ruins special moments

Fantasies about power and success

Overreact to criticism

Making others feel inferior

Rarely apologizes or makes excuses for their behavior

Moving onto a new relationship immediately after you breakup with them

Exaggerating their accomplishments (often when their career doesn’t align)

A lot of other people are dealing with this subtle form of abuse and they are unaware that they are being manipulated.

Since I got away from my ex-husband, I have been sharing my story with others online and through film. I find that bringing awareness to this epidemic is important because abuse isn’t always physical. I am just hoping I can help save others from this brutal form of psychological abuse before too much irreversible damage has been done to the victim.

Please check out the trailer to my short film below titled: “Rise From the Ashes”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9WUWhkcIXk

Rise From the Ashes is about Narcissistic Abuse, which is a form of abuse that is mostly verbal & psychological, but still leads to emotional trauma in victims. Inspired by true events, Rise From the Ashes presents a story of Gracie Phoenix, the marriage she suffered through and the journey of how she met her ex-husband…which was by-way of another Narcissist.

Synopsis: A beautiful, independent, young woman is swept off her feet by a married African man and narcissist, who takes her on a luxurious trip to Africa; then unknowingly passed off, like an unwanted puppy to his buddy; also a narcissist who marries her for his own personal gain.

The purpose for creating this film is to advise potential victims to trust their instincts and recognize the warning signs of abuse, because it’s not always physical.

Being married to a covert narcissist, Gracie always sensed bizarre and unusual behavior from her ex-husband… She felt something was wrong, but she couldn’t put a finger on it.

From the beginning, his mannerisms were very difficult to interpret. It started with the “Silent Treatment”. He would ignore her for hours or days and she couldn’t figure out why. She later learned that this is a technique used by emotional manipulators called: “The Silent Treatment”. This is just one of the many tactics that narcissists use to cause confusion and worry in their victims.

Other behaviors or “Red Flags” that caught Gracie’s attention was that her ex-husband seemed to display immense difficulty apologizing or acknowledging his actions. He demonstrated an extreme lack of empathy for others and struggled to take feedback or criticism. His behavior suggested that he avidly enjoyed the spotlight; hijacking conversations, talking about ONLY himself and his imaginary “accomplishments”.

Pathological lying was The Big “Kicker”. Instead of owning up to the truth, even when I presented proof, he would either call me crazy, say I’m too sensitive or go on a complete rampage. This form of abuse is called Gaslighting. It’s a sneaky tactic that narcissists use to confuse their victims and make them feel like they’re going crazy. It makes the victim question their own memory, judgement and sanity.

The lying was constant and utterly blatant. He would even go as far as to falsely convince his close friends that he was involved in extravagant events that Phoenix experienced prior to their dating. This pattern of lying never ceased, and the lies only got bigger and less believable.

When Gracie finally decided to save herself and her children from her emotionally abusive marriage that was taking a toll on her sanity, she began to write… She found writing to be therapeutic. Eventually her writing turned into a story, which quickly evolved into a script… and Rise From The Ashes was born.

I hope you enjoy the trailer. Please visit the website below for updates and please share with other victims of emotional abuse. Let’s heal each other. I know it’s traumatic, but we can move up and move on together.

Bless,

-Gracie Phoenix

Facebook: Gracie Phoenix

Facebook: Rise Form the Ashes Movie

Instagram: @RiseMovie

Twitter: @GraceLPhoenix

Youtube: @GraciePhoenix

Have a Happy and Narcissistic Free New Year,

Gracie Phoenix