Homebrew Items: Deck of Many Blings

Yep, you read that correctly. You might have expected the usual Deck of Many Things topic, but you can call me D.J. Flutes because this is a remix. I present the Deck of Many Blings!

Deck of Many Blings

Wondrous item, legendary

Usually found in a box or pouch, this deck contains a number of cards made of ivory or vellum. Before you draw a card, you must declare how many cards you intend to draw and then draw them randomly (you can use an altered deck of playing cards to simulate the deck). Any cards drawn in excess of this number have no effect. Otherwise, as soon as a card is drawn from the deck, its magic takes effect. You must draw each card no more than 1 hour after the previous draw. If you fail to draw the chosen number, the remaining number of cards fly from the deck on their own and take effect all at once. Once a card is drawn, it fades from existence.

Cards and effects:

Blame Game: A bramble ring appears on your pointer finger. That same finger grows to twice its normal length. If the finger is cut off, it regrows to this same extended length. When you speak about a character with whom you are very familiar, the finger instinctively points in a direction that leads to that person. Heart on Your Sleeve: A ring appears on your middle finger with a gemstone that is initially clear, but shifts to different colors depending on your mood. You have advantage on charisma checks when you are sincere, forthright, or honest; you have disadvantage when you are insincere, misleading, or beguiling. Fidget Spinner: A ring appears on your finger that has a smaller band inlaid that can be spun as your other fingers flick and spin it. You feel an obsession with flicking this ring. At all times, you must fidget with it. While doing so, you are unable to hold anything in the fidgeting hand, such as a weapon. You also cannot perform somatic spell requirements with this hand. Happy Couple: A wedding band appears on your finger, and incorporeal church bells begin chiming. You are now married to the most recent unmarried person of your preferred gender that you spoke to. That person gains a ring identical to yours. Alternatively, If you are already married, renew your vows and gain the effect of the Ceremony spell as long as you wear this ring and honor your spouse. Old Prospector: Your teeth turn to dust, replaced with a full set of golden false teeth. Each tooth has a trade value of 50 gp. Flintstone: Flint bracelets appear on your wrists. When your hands or wrists touch one another, the bracelets spark and cast the spell Immolation on you for two rounds. Coral Grief: Manacles made of smooth, polished coral appear around your ankles. While wearing them, you fall through water as if through air. In water, your swim and fly speeds are zero. You can walk, run, attack, and jump as you normally would on dry land even when you are immersed in water. Chatterbox: An emerald piercing appears in your tongue. Starting now, count the number of words your character utters out loud, and reset the count each dawn. Casting a spell that requires a verbal component will count as one word. If you sacrifice grammar to conserve your words, you have disadvantage on charisma checks that rely on your speech. Speaking gibberish will not count as words. When you have spoken fifty words in the same day, your emerald stud becomes black as you become mute/silenced until the next dawn when your word count resets. Hustle, Loyalty, Respect: A medallion appears around your neck with the insignia of a hand with pointer finger and thumb touching at the tips while the other fingers are outstretched. While wearing this medallion, anytime someone who does not know your name requests that you introduce yourself, a godly narrator’s voice booms to declare your name, followed by ten seconds of trumpets sounding. Having your name announced this way grants you advantage on one roll of your choice in the next 24 hours. In addition, wearing this medallion encourages you to never give up; the next time you would drop to zero hit points, you instead drop to one hit point. You regain this ability to never give up if you salute the sun at dawn. Hornswoggle: An earring of dull copper appears in your left ear. It has an ‘x’ scratched into it. When you speak, it sounds normal to you, but those who hear your words hear them as if you were speaking like an uneducated pirate. This may help you or hinder you, depending on the situation. You may also be surprised one day to find a grand treasure in an unexpected place. Silver Tongue: A ring of polished silver appears on your finger. If you have a catchphrase or favorite quote, it will be etched on the ring. When you speak, it sounds normal to you, but those who hear your words hear them as if you were speaking like an educated sophisticate. This may help you or hinder you, depending on the situation. You may also find that people are prone to try stealing from you. Midas Touch: A ring of shiny gold appears on your finger. When you speak the word “gold”, a non-sentient object no larger than a one-foot square turns to gold if it is in contact with your finger adorned with this ring. You can use this ability once per hour. Tree Hugger: A polished oak band appears around your finger, adorned with an emerald. You are affected by the Tree Stride spell while you are attuned to this ring. Get Even: A white circlet appears on your forehead, adorned with a sapphire. While wearing this ring, your odd-level spell slots are perpetually depleted, and your even-level spell slots are doubled. For example, instead of three level-two spell slots, you have six of them. Your personality also develops an unhealthy sense of revenge, causing you to hold grudges for insignificant reasons. Onyx-plainable: An obsidian ring appears on your finger, adorned with an onyx stone. All of your belongings shift from their regular colors to a new deep black. This affects possessions you gain after this ring is adorned as well.. You are under the effect of the Stoneskin spell while attuned to this ring, but you become unable swim and you sink like a rock when in water. Tickled Pink: A beautiful necklace of silver, adorned with a ruby, appears around your neck. Whenever you become attracted to someone new, the necklace loudly sounds with a sexy instrumental tune. You also become inclined to blush at inappropriate and unwanted times. Going Platinum: A platinum stud piercing appears in your chin. The next song you perform is highly regarded and well-liked as long as you are attuned to the stud. Itching for Adventure: A pair of scratchy, itchy socks adorn your feet. They never need changing since they always remain clean and dry. You are under the effect of the Bark Skin spell while attuned to this ring, but you also become vulnerable to fire damage. There Is My Mind: You gain a staff topped with a diamond. If you ever die of a cause other than old age, and you are in possession of this staff, the diamond shatters and releases diamond dust. The dust coalesces into a new body to house your soul. You are reborn in the form of a pixie. You keep your old racial features and stats, but you gain the features of a pixie as your DM permits. Big Pimpin: You gain a red leopard-skin coat. It is long and loose. It makes you feel confident, though you look trashy to characters of true refinement. You randomly believe you can do things that you probably cannot do. Flesh and Stone: A ring made of human skin appears on your finger as you are turned to stone. You become petrified. Oddball: A silver band appears around your finger, adorned with an amethyst. It feels invigorating to wear. While attuned to this ring, your even-level spell slots become perpetually depleted, and your odd-level spell slots are doubled. For example, instead of three level-three spell slots, you have six of them. You also gain one of the following quirks:

You smile and stare at people while they eat. Whenever you eat, food gets stuck in your teeth. You occasionally talk to your inanimate possessions. Being touched makes you shiver and giggle. You’re not good at whispering. When you whisper, it’s still pretty loud. During rests, you tend to play with your food and act out stories. Your socks always stink. If asked a question, you tend to overshare and make others uncomfortable.

So what do you think of this twist (with lemon) on an old favorite? I want to hear about other blings you think this deck deserves. Place your thoughts in the comments.

See our other Deck of Many Things homebrew, Deck of Many Unearthings.