Gun Maker Issues Massive Recall after Dozens Survive

Firearms manufacturer Glock issued a massive recall today after a man trying to commit suicide with his 9mm handgun survived.

Bleeding from a traumatic but non-fatal wound to his palate after putting the gun in his mouth and pulling the trigger, Reginald Frost of Peoria, Illinois later walked out of his apartment and in front of a bus, inconveniencing several commuters.

The troubling incident was just one of hundreds of similar reports involving Glock from around the country over the past six months.

Another man, who requested his name be withheld, testified of his frustrating experience trying to kill a man with a Glock.

"I shot this guy like ten times, but he didn't die," the man complained. "He was bleeding all over and full of holes, so I know the bullets were going in, but he just groans and walks away."

With the recall, Glock has issued an apology to all it's customers who have been adversely affected by the defects.

"This sort of performance is not consistent with Glock's commitment to quality, and a comprehensive investigation will be conducted," the letter read, in part.