Televangelists like Jim Bakker are basically scam artists who feed on implanting people with fear and profiting off that fear. Bakker, for example, is notorious for shilling his buckets of survivalist food that costs hundreds of dollars and last 20 years (just in time for the world to end!). But how does that food taste? We got chef Greg Lauro to cook up some of these evangelical survivalist food items and it’s absolutely disgusting. Like, gross doesn’t even begin to describe it.

The food—which basically only requires the addition of hot water to cook—ends up being like beige slop and red vomit and liquid sludge. Lauro described the taste as “paper mache” and “a bathroom at a bar at the end of the night in a college town” and “one of the worst thing I’ve ever eaten in my life” to describe the taste and smell of the food.


But I guess you can’t be picky when the world ends.