So guess what, I bit the bullet. I accepted this raw deal. I’m officially “earning” a negative interest rate on my bonus, if you can believe that! I should have just gone to the bar with it, and consumed it. At least I’d be feeling that ten bucks that’s vanishing, right? That’s what my work buddies are doing, spending their tip money like it’s burning a hole in their pockets. They’re “churning the economy” along, I guess. It’s how the powers-that-be wanted it, all those central bankers, those who decide the cost of borrowing money.

Gonna Get a Safe

He basically called it the new normal, that minion, but it feels more like a new racket to me. I work hard enough and I’m always broke. I ain’t gonna take this one laying down. A decent personal safe would cost me $200 (and a bit of time to install, but I have the tools and I’m handy). If the bank keeps this up much longer, or goes any lower with these so-called rates, I’ll get myself the bloody safe and opt out, thank you very much!

Even better, I’ll ask my trusted flatmate, Peter, to go in on the safe with me! He asked if we had one when he moved in (to keep his passports). I bet he’ll be willing to share the safe and the cost of it, especially if I installed it! If I did it over the weekend, I could even grab that $1000 — or $998, whatever will be left of it — back from the bank, and start using the safe right away. Hell, I could even take that 8 bucks and “invest” it into the safe. (Maybe it’s a good thing i didn’t drink it away.)

Peter can take the bottom and bigger shelf. He’s got more use for it than I do, that’s for sure: he’s got $25k saved up, that sly dog. I reckon he might as well take the bulk of his savings out of the bank and lock them in the safe, and just keep the minimum on his account. Why would he just let his money rot and disappear, when we have the safe?

I can’t wait to see their faces at the counter when Peter goes in to make that cash withdrawal for, oh, about twenty thousand dollars. It’s gonna be epic, isn’t it? Like a mini-run on the bank. Hopefully, not everybody goes out and gets a safe too. That might get crazy! Well, better be early on this, just in case…

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