The Earth is curvaceous, alluring, a little dirty, and very wet. These well-rounded puns are absolutely intended.

Earth is our beautiful home. She is genial to life and brimming with plants, animals, soil, microbes, oceans, mountains, hills, humans, beer, and the adult-side of the internet. Most people agree with all of these facts, but for some, there is one exception: they believe Earth is flat. Yes. The sun, moon, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, the other planets and stars are all round, except for one place among the cosmos: Earth.

And I love them for it. But Earth Chan may not love them as much as I do, and Frankly, I don’t blame her.

I am not writing this small series to make Flat Earthers turn a(round) and see the light. Their belief is not a question of evidence, but perception— they are too g(round)ed in their idea for me to change many minds. Nor will I elucidate on all the evidence sur(round)ing a curvy Earth—that would be like trying to drink from a fire hose using a cocktail straw. Also, this isn’t intended to (flat)ter us round Earth believers. Instead, the target audience for this shoddy excuse of scientific tutelage is:

people who like history and science those who wonder how in the Hades Flat Earthers help society, or Those who got lost on the interwebz and can’t stop reading this train wreck

Wrong ideas also have value. The scientific method is centered on learning from mistaken ideas. And there are times when demonstrably false and bizarre claims provide us with a unique insight. Flat Earthers don’t just take the cake of weird claims; they conquer the whole industrial baking complex. It. Is. Amazing. They see something they are convinced—CONVINCED—is wrong, and they will stop at nothing to open the publics’ eyes to the light they swear they see, using whatever means possible. In a (round)about way, it is quite inspiring. If we were half as dedicated to values such as charity and kindness as Flat Earthers are to their cause, this world would be a far better place. But the dedication to facts ought to be centered around the process of systematic, ingenuous evaluation—not beloved presupposition. Science is the suppository for shit the refuses to leave.

Flat Earthers, for all their bizarre beliefs, kindle a desire to learn more about ourselves. They pique our curiosity about history. How did the ancients surmise Earth’s globular shape before the age of rockets? They compel us to learn how people can so steadfastly adhere to disproven conceptions. They force us to confront the uncomfortable questions. Are we also the victims of misperception? What ideas are we woefully mistaken and why? And most pertinently, how can we collectively and individually improve our reasoning skills?

First, we will take a cruise down antiquity lane to see how the ancients first solved the question of Earth’s shape. Then we’ll take from there and explore these other questions. Grab a beer, glass of wine, water, tea, or whatever, and enjoy.

Next to Part 2

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