Man tells court his penis can work like a stove

A man confessed, yesterday, to taking out his penis and making lewd gestures to a female. He also admitted to damaging a door at a City Constabulary outpost.

As a result he was jailed for a total of five months by Magistrate Alex Moore, when he appeared in the Georgetown Magistrates’ Courts.

Balram ‘Dog Mouth’ Singh (no address given) was slapped with three charges—damage to property, indecent exposure and indecent assault. He pleaded guilty to all the charges.

Singh told the court that he exposed his penis because he wanted to “heat up” a tennis roll. The magistrate frowned and whispered to the clerk whether the man’s penis was a microwave or a gas stove.

Particulars of the first charge stated that on January 4, last, at Stabroek Access Road, Singh exposed his penis to Gail McAlmont. He also admitted to indecently assaulting the woman the same day.

Singh explained that on the day in question, he had a tennis roll but wanted to “heat it up” before eating it. It was more like he wanted to make love to it before eating it.

The man said that he had nothing to warm up the tennis roll and decided to take his penis and rub it vigorously against the bread to generate sufficient heat.

The court was told that McAlmont was walking in the area at the time, when the man moved his naked lower body in a back and forth motion at her.

Singh was subsequently arrested by police in the area and taken to the Bourda Outpost, where he damaged a door valued $10,000 belonging to the Mayor and City Council. He was charged and pleaded guilty to destroying the door. Singh was sentenced to two months’ imprisonment.

As it relates to the indecent exposure charge he was jailed for one month and two months for the indecent assault.

As he was being led away, a policeman told Singh that in prison, he would have a lot of tennis roll to “hot up”.