When Lauren Marks-Clee recovered from a bout of postnatal depression brought on by her conflicted feelings about breastfeeding, she was angry that the parenting class she had paid hundreds of pounds to attend had barely mentioned bottle-feeding at all. In fact, she felt it had done little except exacerbate her guilt.

“I spent two hours listening to a woman telling me breast was best when I was pregnant,” she said. “So when I struggled to breastfeed, I felt I’d failed as a mother … I didn’t bond with my son and I think that was partly because I dreaded the feeds and the pain. I dreaded having him passed to me.”

Earlier this year, Marks-Clee launched the latest in a new wave of alternative parenting classes that focus on helping expectant mothers and fathers feel confident and happy about their decisions, whether they opt to have C-sections or natural births, and regardless of whether they formula feed or breastfeed their babies.

Many of these courses market themselves as practical, open-minded and above all “non-preachy”, and have been created by recent mothers who feel traditional antenatal classes, led by the National Childbirth Trust, can sometimes encourage parents to have a natural birth or breastfeed when those options do not suit them.

Offering “a modern alternative” and “guilt-free guidance”, they promise to prepare parents for labour and feeding in a non-judgmental way, as well as providing emotional support from experts and other new parents.

“We are not on a mission to improve breastfeeding rates. We welcome women who are planning to have caesareans. We are genuinely unbiased. Our purpose is to deliver evidence-based information so people can make an informed choice, and to help them feel good about themselves whatever choice they make,” said Alex Kohansky, founder of Bump & Baby Club, which offers antenatal courses in London that she says are so popular one couple tried to gatecrash a class last week.

“They all tend to sell out and have waiting lists – one has 30 couples on it,” said Kohansky, a 39-year-old mother-of-three. The 15-hour courses cost £250 and aim to impart similar amounts of information as an NCT course, but with fewer activities, roleplay and discussions. Classes tend to take place in local pubs, then one participant will host a tea party at their home. “One of the main reasons people take our course is to form friendships – a solid support network can be a critical factor in preventing postnatal depression,” said Kohansky.

A Bump & Baby Club meets in Shoreditch. Photograph: Baby Picture This

Last week, the Royal College of Midwives announced its decision to begin supporting women who make an informed choice to formula-feed their newborns. Although the college still advocates exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of a baby’s life, it said women who cannot or do not wish to breastfeed should be given all the advice and support they need to develop a close and loving bond with their child.

The move chimes with the ethos of Marks-Clee’s online course, The Parenting Chapter. For £100, new mothers and fathers get access to podcasts, videos and guides that cover a “chapter” of their baby’s life. Midwives, lactation consultants, paediatricians, sleep experts and other professionals take on the role of course teachers, while straight, gay, divorced, single and happily married “parent ambassadors” share their experiences (good and bad) and reveal what worked for them. Participants can also join an online forum for Q&As with experts.

Outside London, Birth and Baby Information, Education, Support (Babies) runs courses in Bedfordshire, Hertfordshire and Sussex. It was set up by Sarah Watkins after she made several unnecessary trips to A&E with her first baby and realised, after having her second, that she had been ill-prepared for the challenges of motherhood by her antenatal class. In 2011, she created her own £275 classes, which prepare parents for “the reality” of breastfeeding and “dare to teach how to prepare bottles safely”.

The NCT said: “We strongly believe it’s up to parents to decide what’s best for them and their baby. We provide information and help parents build a support network giving them the confidence to make decisions that are right for them and their families.”