Interesting, interesting.





Rule of thumb, though- whenever you have someone else start talking it goes on its own line. For example:





“Hey Otto!” said the rounded girl. She had a purplish tone to her skin, and her hair had a hint of green to it. The scene reminded Claire of the berries she had eaten on her first day on the island. The sight was definitely a lot to take in. Apparently, working in the orchard harvesting fruit turned the women who worked there into fruit as well. Claire’s curiosity kept her mind from running away. “Margaret! So glad to see you. Have you seen-” Otto pleasantly greeted before he was cut off. “Niklas and Uma? They’re behind the storehouse.” Margaret had an accent Claire could not place, but the features of her face gave away that she was from eastern Europe. “Thanks, your the best!” Otto said, and took off while Claire chased after him.







Should be:





“Hey Otto!” said the rounded girl. She had a purplish tone to her skin, and her hair had a hint of green to it. The scene reminded Claire of the berries she had eaten on her first day on the island. The sight was definitely a lot to take in. Apparently, working in the orchard harvesting fruit turned the women who worked there into fruit as well. Claire’s curiosity kept her mind from running away.



“Margaret! So glad to see you. Have you seen-” Otto pleasantly greeted before he was cut off.



“Niklas and Uma? They’re behind the storehouse.” Margaret had an accent Claire could not place, but the features of her face gave away that she was from eastern Europe.



“Thanks, you're the best!” Otto said, and took off while Claire chased after him.











Lots of spelling errors, word errors, missing punctuation... I totally understand an eagerness to post, but this definitely needed another polish pass.



