Posted by Andy, under SNAPSHOTS

When you’re making love it’s like you’re soaring through the sky on the wings of passion. But when your little one opens the door on your passionate flight, in about .00372 seconds, it’s like all the air has been sucked out of the room and you’ve made an emergency nosedive into a solid glacier. If you thought your heart was racing before… yeah. This one will take a few months off your life whether or not they barge in crying or demanding an explanation of what daddy is doing to mommy.

The sound of your startled voice and heavy breathing won’t seem very believable when answering the question “Mommy okay?” but you have to answer. You know that pulling the covers over your wild hair and blushing faces, to wait for the worried/curious child to just wander away, is not an option. Dammit! You could have sworn the little one was out like a light! Deep breath…

“Oh hey, it’s okay. We were just… wrestling.” It comes out much shakier than you wanted it to sound, but you got it out. So you snag whatever article of clothing is nearest to hand so you can give a reassuring hug in something more than your birthday suit and see them off to bed again.

For some parents, when this happens, all flights might be cancelled until airport security is improved. So, safe… “flying,” everyone!

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You won’t have a heart attack if your kids barge in on you.

Instructional Diagrams

You may poop in your pants. You’ve been warned.

