Fuck you Dick Cheney! I just peeked out from behind my couch to check the living room and I thought I saw khalid Sheikh Mohammed with a nuke in his hand, no wait, that's just a fucking chair. But take heart my dear friends, that chair will not be hurting Americans in the near future. I waterboarded it and it gave up the coffee table's plot to stub my toe on Friday night. Fuck, that was close. After changing my shorts I started watching Dick again. Wait, what? You are some kind of benevolent protector doing the difficult things to keep us safe? Fuck You! You are a malevolent narcissistic asshole who is trying to tell us that we owe you a debt of gratitude for pissing on the ashes of the Constitution and getting us involved in wars that weaken our stance in the world both militarily and morally. Fuck You! We only waterboarded three of them? If you were doing everything you could, and waterboarding isn't a bad thing, why not more? Lets pick up people off the street and waterboard them just in case they are plotting the next 9/11. They might have a dirty bomb in their trunk. We can't take that chance, Dick. Fuck, I'm scared. "We can't just stop half of the terrorists with nukes from getting into America, we have to stop all of them?" Are you saying Obama wants us to get nuked? Fuck You! Are you suggesting that torturing people is the only way to keep that from happening? Well then strap some electrodes to my balls, I'm ready to do my part for national security. But please, Dick, send Jack Bauer to do it, he'll know when to stop. We either have to do what you did or we're fucked? It's torture people, or 9/11 was one of a kind, or we're fucked? Fuck You! Putting terror suspects in supermax is supporting them? Fuck That! Since when is Florence Colorado an Al Qaeida training camp?! Oh, and I don't care what the fucking memos say! How can I beleive a fucking word of it when you were fucking torturing the people who gave you the info? They could say that we thwarted a plot to kill Heidi and Spencer from the Hills, and it still couldn't have less credibility to me. They are memos written by people who needed a reason to justify torturing people containing content gained by said torture. Are we fucking idiots!? Don't answer that, Dick, because I know what your answer is. And since I know what you think of me, this is what I think of you.

FUCK YOU DICK CHENEY!!!

</rant>

Update

My first time to the rec list! Not that I normally write good diaries but I am a little suprised that it was this one. Thanks everyone! I think of you in the opposite fashion as I do Darth Cheney.

Update 2

WOW! TOP of the rec list? You guys really don't like Dick Cheney huh? Me I think he's peachy.