A Comprehensive List of Stuff the United States Has That Canada Does Not:

- Garden & Gun Magazine.

- Dignity.

- Nuclear weapons.

- The balls to tell you what's what, straight up, no bullshit, ya hear.

- Dollar bills, like adults.

- The Price is Right.

- The New York Mets.

- Guam.

- Respect.

- Some places where it doesn't really get cold.

- Snowboarders that can do this:

This content is imported from Instagram. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

- Rich nerds.

- Two fists, and we're not afraid to use 'em.

- A government so broken it's almost a little pretty if you hold it up against the light just right, like your weirdest ex-girlfriend's bad modern art diorama things.

- Certainly not fking bags of milk, that's what.

- Judges that aren't <>forced to dress like Santa Claus.

- St. Vincent, and we're not sharing.

- A near certain gold in men's ice hockey at the 2014 Winter Olympics. (Ed's note: Whoops.)

- Almost uncomfortable levels of dominance in every other sport, even ones that we think about for exactly 45 minutes every year, tops.

- No remorse for that last paragraph.

- Pride.

- Hurt feelings.

- Cracker Barrel.

- A silver in Women's Ice Hockey at the 2014 Winter Olympics

A Comprehensive List of Stuff Canada Has That the United States Does Not:

- A gold in Women's (Update: and now maybe Men's) Ice Hockey at the 2014 Winter Olympics.

- An invitation to bite me.

- Our congratulations.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io