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"I pay the same train fares as you!" squealed the little Tory piggy, not mentioning his chauffeur-driven car or that he is allowed to claim train tickets on expenses.

Nor did Chris Grayling, our illustrious Transport Secretary, mention during his defence of the 3.4% rail fares hike that he has claimed for just one £13.20 return train ticket since 2013. The rest of his expenses are for car mileage, so it seems using the trains he's in charge of is a little beneath him.

He's been criticised for delivering this spirited defence from the sunny climes of Qatar, where he's on a taxpayer-funded jaunt looking for jobs to make up for those expected to be lost along with our EU membership.

The fact he's a hypocrite is neither here or there. It's not a surprise that a man who as Justice Secretary tried to restrict legal aid for the poorest and most vulnerable and was found to be acting illegally by judges he was likewise trying to restrict, while saying it was in all our best interests, is about as two-faced as it's possible to get.

What matters is what he's NOT telling you.

This is a man paid £141,505 to both represent his constituents in leafy Epsom, Surrey, as well as run transport policy for the nation as a whole.

And he's taking you for a ride.

(Image: AFP)

Epsom might have a reputation as well-heeled, but 9.1% of its children live in poverty. Almost as many speak English as a second language, a sixth of the population is over 65 and 13.4% of his voters live with long-term illness or disability.

A tenth of them are unpaid carers for a loved one. It's not all roses-round-the-door in Surrey - it's also unequal, deprived, and unhappy.

Such people do not have chauffeur-driven ministerial cars. They are less likely to commute into London every day on trains for better-paid jobs, or to give two figs about a price rise for a service they do not use very often, if at all.

Such people, by and large, use buses.

According to the Equality Trust, a charity which campaigns for more fairness in these things, the poorest 10% of people get a total of £296million in transport subsidy.

By comparison, the richest 10% get more than three times as much in subsidies - £977m.

That's because wealthier people tend to use trains, and trains get a lot of attention and money lavished on them by politicians.

The reason for this is simple - psephology. The science and statistics of elections shows that richer people vote more than poorer ones, while the more politically-powerful newspapers complain on the middle classes' behalf.

That's why the Tories worry about trains and have to find a bogeyman in the unions to blame for problems that occur on their watch. To admit they'd got it wrong would mean losing power and authority.

And it's why Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn talks about nationalising trains. He needs those middle class votes as well, and thinks in his socialist utopia no-one will notice it would be a bung for the rich.

Under the ministerial stewardship of, in turn, Philip Hammond, Justine Greening, Patrick McLoughlin and now Chris Grayling funding for buses has been cut by 33% since 2010.

The Campaign for Better Transport says more than 500 routes were cut or cancelled entirely last year. The vast majority were in the south east, an area which like Epsom has a reputation for wealth and Daily Mail readers.

But Kent County Council has just announced £4m of cuts to 78 "socially necessary" bus services. That's a funding cut of 70% to routes which aren't financially viable and rely on subsidies to exist.

It includes school buses, rural buses, single deckers carrying grannies into the nearest town to do their shopping. It'll mean disabled people remain housebound, more cars on the traffic-jammed school run, more elderly isolation and low-tax internet shopping firms raking it in.

(Image: REX/Shutterstock)

It also means those people who need to go to hospital - and the sickest among us are also the poorest - can't go on the bus and will have no choice but to pay the swingeing hospital parking charges we all despise.

Cutting bus services is what local authorities do when central government cuts their cash. It's what happens when Tories refuse to fold the growing demand for social care into the NHS and tell local authorities to handle it out of existing funds.

It's what happens when the person in charge of transport thinks subsidies exist to buy votes, rather than services.

But by going on a long-planned trip to the sun at the same time as a long-expected fares rise, and not even ordering a junior minister out to face the reporters in his absence, Grayling's barely even bothering about the votes now.

Like everyone else in the government it seems his job is not to run a ministerial department but to keep the backbench headbangers happy. To continue campaigning for Brexit as he did in the referendum, while Brexit collapses around their ears.

Train fares aren't paid by the people who voted for Brexit; bus tickets are. Yet while talking up the prospects of Leaving he's ignoring the needs of those who agreed with him. He's not meeting the needs of his constituents whatever they voted and however they travel, and he's still getting £141,505 a year for being a bad MP and a worse Transport Secretary.

He might pay the same train fares as you, when he can be bothered; but he pays them with your money. Billions of pounds in rail subsidies, at least some of which should be spent on buses.

In a sign of just how bad a shape the Tories are in, Grayling is being touted as Theresa May's next deputy. She lost the last one to lies about porn allegations; perhaps she thinks one more wanker won't matter.

It matters to us.

(Image: Manchester Evening News)