You know something is inherently wrong with a mode of transportation when you address it as the fuel it runs on. The first thing that comes to your mind when someone utters “CNG” is not the compressed natural gas it runs on but a green three-wheeler whose driver will ask for an additional 20 taka fare even if traffic is not particularly atrocious.

What you share with the CNG driver is the mother of all complicated relationships. It's like the friend you want to avoid but still have to call up before the night of an exam for notes, and to make it worse the friend knows and exploits that opportunity. For dealing with these small, eco-friendly green monsters, you need to know some basic rules.

The fare question



When CNGs are in high demand (think rush hour traffic), the driver might ask you for a set fare. Please be aware that this is illegal. CNGs are legally obligated to go by the meter. Some CNG drivers may ask you for 20 taka extra on the metered fare. Whether or not you want to yield to their demands is up to you, really.

No PDA, please



The weather is overcast with the wind on your face and the distant roar of thunder awakening your quixotic nature. The soft sprinkle of rain wets your skin through the grated windows and slowly you reach out to find the shyly approaching hand of your significant other sitting in the CNG beside you. The moment is perfect. And then you spot the over-excited eyes of the driver trying to take a peek of your oh-so-perfect moment on the rear-view mirror. Don't do this. Just. No.

Do not vape



While you may be enjoying the reduced harmful effects of your apple pancake flavoured vape, your CNG driver is simultaneously freaking out observing all the smoke you are apparently creating with the device. They might just pull over next to a traffic sergeant, scared and screaming and start accusing you of being the new felon in town. Oh, and this anecdote is based on a true story so be warned.

Note down the registration number when it's late



A distressing number of crimes involve CNGs but being the audacious race that we Bangladeshis are, we carry on about our life like it's no big deal. It's always better to know the registration number of the CNG you are travelling in, especially if it's late and you are headed to an unfamiliar and secluded place, and ESPECIALLY if you are a female. Before getting into one, just note down the number or take a photo and send it to a family member or a close friend. So if you ever get abducted by aliens from inside a CNG, they would know what to do first.

Do NOT fall asleep



Who doesn't like a nice and quick power nap with the drone of the CNG in the background? However, due to this you may have to end up paying more as you will never know if the driver took a longer route or in some extreme cases, you may wake up with only one of your kidneys. Be safe, do not sleep. If you think you are too clever to trick the driver into thinking you are not dozing off then remember, a CNG driver sees everything.

Follow these rules and it's likely you will not be cussing yourself for letting him win at life. It's like a chess game when you get in a CNG. The clash of the egos. You have to be alert at all times.

Iqra suffers from wanderlust, dreams of discovering the Loch Ness Monster and occasionally complains about Economics. Tell her to get a life at iqralaqa@gmail.com or www.facebook.com/iqra.l.qamari