WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

In a sad indictment on the state of the planet we call home, some US explorers have today discovered rubbish at the deepest point under the sea.

On the deepest dive ever made by a human inside a submarine, Victor Vescovo, a retired naval officer and Texas-based investor, made the saddening discover of rubbish at the bottom of the Mariana Trench today.

The diver explained how shocked and saddened he was to discover the Palmer United Party leaflets at the deepest point in the ocean.

“I was crushed,” explained Vescovo from his sat phone in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

“At a moment when I should have been celebrating an incredible feat, I was reminded of the devastating effect mankind is having on this planet.”

Vescovo then explained that he was somewhat confused as to how the laminated leaflet made it’s way down there without disintegrating, and who the obnoxious smiling man on the paper was.

“But one of my crew is from your country of Queensland,” said Vescovo muddling things up slightly as many Americans tend to do.

“And he explained to me who this guy who doesn’t pay his workers is, and how much of a bin fire his entry to politics was a few years ago and how he is trying it on again.”

“Hopefully people don’t go for the baseless promises of things like 300km/r bullet trains across the country and we don’t have any more of his pamphlets floating down into the ocean in future.”