Deadspin - Way, way, way back in 2007 , we covered a Craigslist posting by a gentleman seeking a co-writer for a tell-all about his time as a Yankees clubhouse worker, the abuse he endured, and and the many scandalous Bronx Bombers episodes he witnessed. It is now 2015, and Abused By The New York Yankees is finally out—and its claims are literally unbelievable. Former Yankees assistant equipment manager Paul Priore was fired in 1997. He says the team let him go because he is HIV-positive; the Yankees, and New York state courts, disagree . Now the seamy tell-all Priore threatened to write has found its way to print (albeit through self-publishing), and co-author Gary Toushek is spamming the world with this bizarre video explaning why Priore’s outlandish claims are totally legit.

About those claims! Here are some things Paul Priore says he witnessed, as outlined amongst the 500-some pages of Abused By The New York Yankeesand according to the book’s website and this review:

Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada engaged in sexual relations in the clubhouse sauna at the end of their first season with the team. Jeter and Posada then allowed Priore to perform oral sex on them in order to keep him quiet.

George Steinbrenner spied on players using secret security cameras in the clubhouse, and was actively involved in the Iran-Contra Affair.

Outfielder Gerald Williams had sex with an underage concession stand worker in a storage closet.

Cecil Fielder played drunk on vodka, and Darryl Strawberry drank whisky during games.

Bob Wickman, Jeff Nelson and Mariano Rivera tried to sexually assault him with a baseball bat.

Batboys created a market of forged autographs on Yankees memorabilia.

I believe him, yo. I dunno why, but I do. Listen if you cant trust an abused baseball clubhouse attendant with AIDS, then who can you trust, right? I mean that guy’s life sucks. Basically completely over. No amount of money or fame can erase how much that hand life dealt you sucks. So I feel like he’s probably being pretty honest.

Plus you cant tell me it doesnt seem like Jeets and Posada were the type to bang each other in the sauna. I mean the shoe fits. You telling me these two right here:

couldn’t star in some sort of gay porno filmed in a locker room sauna? A little one on one action and then the young clubhouse attendant joins in? I mean there’s a reason why that sounds like a perfectly plausible porno plot. Because porno plots are based on real life and inspired by real life events and people. Look at the rest of the things he lists there:

Steinbrenner involved with Iran – I’m gonna go ahead and say that is 100% real. He was the boss for fucks sake.

Gerald Williams had sex with an underage concessions stand person in a storage closet – does this surprise anyone?

Cecil Fielder played drunk and Darryl Strawberry drank whiskey during games – Paul Priore also reports the sky is fucking blue

Bat boys sold fake memorabilia – I wouldnt trust any ball boy who DIDNT do that in the 90s with the Yankees.

Bob Wickman, Jeff Nelson and Mariano Rivera tried to fuck him with a baseball bat – alright this one is a little fishy. But only because of Mo. Mo is definitely not the type of dude to fuck guys with baseball bats. Jeff Nelson and Bob Wickman though?

Those guys look like the type that will definitely fuck you with a baseball bat.

So I dunno. You do the math. Like 9 out of the 10 bombshells seems pretty fuckin true to me. At the very least entirely plausible. But nah, we’ll just ignore Jeets and Posada in the sauna banging each other. No chance that one is real!

Yeah right. Thats probably where “Yeah, Jeets” originated from. Jeter was probably holding on to Jorge’s ears as it went down. My only question is if Jeets gave Posada a gift basket.