ERIN, Wis. -- Top five? Ha! Top 10? Not even worth me turning on my laptop. Top 20? Sure, if you want the silver medal. But I ain't no punk, so here's the what the leaderboard will look like Sunday night from 25th place up to the winner. Enjoy this while I go find that gold(-plated) medal.

25. Ernie Els -- I won't lie. If this is the Big Easy's last U.S. Open, I want him to go out with a nice finish. Someone sprinkle his putter with a bit of fairy dust please.

24. Adam Scott -- This is the guy who could throw a monkey wrench into my list. His third week in a row with legendary caddie Steve Williams on the bag, Scott is trending toward a breakout. I know he's ranked low here, but if he gets into contention ...

After missing the cut in three of his first four U.S. Open appearances, Scott Piercy finished tied for second in 2016. Andrew Dieb/Icon Sportswire/Getty Images

23. Scott Piercy -- A runner-up last year at Oakmont, Piercy is long enough off the tee to handle a course this big. Last year's success will also prove useful when it comes to attitude when things aren't going perfectly.

22. Henrik Stenson -- The "Ice Man" went ice-cold for a while earlier this year, missing four cuts in a row, including the Masters. We haven't seen him stateside since the Players Championship, where he finished T-16. I think this week will just be a light frost for Stenson.

21. Alex Noren -- His record at the U.S. Open is atrocious (four starts, three MCs), but this year I believe the course and, more importantly, the conditions (wet) play into his hands. He won the European Tour's flagship event (BMW Championship) last month, and those good vibes should still be coursing through him.

20. Pat Perez -- In his 17 events this season (not counting the WD in Phoenix), Perez has only missed one cut, at Colonial. He followed it up with a T-19 at Memorial, a big golf course not suited for his game. Sometimes that chip-on-the-shoulder attitude can work at this major.

19. Martin Kaymer -- I think you can count on Kaymer's gallery increasing by a few hundred this week after the video he did asking for people to stop being negative toward Tiger Woods.

18. Brandt Snedeker -- After walking these greens for two days, I believe even though Sneds isn't a bomber off the tee, his putter will be on fire this week, keeping him inside the top 20.

Shane Lowry has top-10 finishes in each of the past two U.S. Opens. He took a four-stroke lead into last year's final round but stumbled with a 76 and wound up tied for second. Joe Maiorana/USA TODAY Sports

17. Shane Lowry -- Stamina is the only thing that concerns me for Lowry this week, but if he spends some time in the hyperbaric chamber that's on the course for players and caddies it will really help him.

16. Jason Day -- What's wrong with Jason Day? Nothing! Welcome to the ebb and flow of golf. He's still No. 3 in the world. He's still a very dangerous competitor when he's up near the lead. He's still a human golfer who can go through a lull, which means not winning or contending for a little while.

15. Justin Thomas -- Since missing the cut at the Valspar in Tampa in March, Thomas seems to have found some consistency in his game, with the only hiccup being at the Players Championship.

14. Charl Schwartzel -- You know that saying: "Play your way into form." Well, the South African finished T-35 at the Memorial and last week finished T-2. I'd say that qualifies.

13. Jason Dufner -- Attitude is everything at a U.S. Open, and nobody can keep his pulse more stable than Duff. His win at Memorial a couple of weeks ago is a testament to the sniper breathing techniques he's using to help with his putting.

12. Justin Rose -- A past champion of this event and the reigning Olympic gold medalist, Rose comes into the second major of the year off a runner-up finish at the Masters.

11. Brooks Koepka -- A bomber who's not afraid of the big moment (remember the Ryder Cup)? This was an easy placement, especially knowing he was playing a practice nine with Dustin Johnson on Tuesday.

Joaquin Niemann of Chile is No. 1 in the World Amateur Golf Ranking. Atsushi Tomura/Getty Images for TOYOTA Junior Golf World Cup

10. Joaquin Niemann -- Here's the bombshell of the week. An 18-year-old kid from Chile who's scheduled to be a freshman at the University of South Florida this fall is going make the biggest splash. I walked nine holes with him on Monday, and did more than just hold his own with a pro.

9. Sergio Garcia -- In his first major at which he'll be announced as the Masters champion, Garcia can be expected to play well. Because the fairways are so wide and his ball striking is always so good, a top-10 finish should not surprise anyone.

8. Rory McIlroy -- This spot for Rory is completely dependent on his health being 100 percent. For mere mortal golfers, it would be unheard of to finish top 10 after taking so much time off. But for McIlroy, having already conquered this championship, his nerves will get better as the week goes on.

7. Rafael Cabrera Bello -- He's another European potential star waiting to shine on the big stage. Rafa has slowly but surely been building toward a breakout, and this week will be a big step forward.

With his wife, Nicki, carrying his bag, Steve Stricker will be playing in his first U.S. Open since 2014. Tom Pennington/Getty Images

6. Steve Stricker -- This will be the feel-good story of the week, and the Wisconsin native has his wife caddying. That's not just for show; Nicki is a really good caddie for Steve.

5. Jordan Spieth -- No matter how bad he can make it seem on the course (I love the emotions on the sleeve), Spieth is so smart at course management that he's never really that far out of it. And that short game is still deadly.

4. Rickie Fowler -- He has contended at majors before and is not fazed by the moment. Fowler can get creative around the greens, but it's his putter that will get him this high on the board.

3. Thomas Pieters -- In his first U.S. Open appearance, the Belgium Bomber should benefit from the width of the fairways at Erin Hills.

2. Jon Rahm -- It's time for the young Spaniard to step up to the next level. This course is a major venue that should fit his eye, and he has a caddie who is masterful at guiding him.

1. Dustin Johnson -- Baby No. 2 has arrived and Mama is doing well, so the world No. 1's only concern is being world No. 1.