Books That Literally All White Men Own: The Definitive List

If you are a white man and you think you do not own one of these books, try looking under your bed, it’s probably there.

1. Shogun, James Clavell

2. Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut

3. A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole

4. Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace

5. A collection of John Lennon’s drawings.

6. A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway

7. The first two volumes of A Song of Ice and Fire, George R.R. Martin

8. God Is Not Great, Christopher Hitchens

9. Catch-22, Joseph Heller

10. I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Tucker Max

11. Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand

12. The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat, Oliver Sacks

13. The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger

14. The Godfather, Mario Puzo

15. The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald

16. Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov

17. Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk

18. The Master and Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov

19. The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown

20. The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck

21. The Stand, Stephen King

22. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson

23. The Naked and the Dead, Norman Mailer

24. Tuesdays With Morrie, Mitch Albom

25. It’s Not About the Bike, Lance Armstrong (definitely under the bed)

26. Who Moved My Cheese?, Spencer Johnson

27. Portnoy’s Complaint, Philip Roth

28. Seabiscuit, Laura Hillenbrand

29. John Adams, David McCullough

30. Ragtime, E.L. Doctorow

31. Lucky Jim, Kingsley Amis

32. America: The Book, Jon Stewart

33. The World Is Flat, Thomas Friedman

34. The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell

35. The Curious Incident of the Dog In the Night-Time, Mark Haddon

36. Exodus, Leon Uris (if Jewish)

37. Trinity, Leon Uris (if Irish-American)

38. The Road, Cormac McCarthy

39. Marley & Me, John Grogan

40. Freakonomics, Steven D. Levitt

41. The Rainmaker, John Grisham

42. Patriot Games, Tom Clancy

43. Dragon, Clive Cussler

44. Guns, Germs, and Steel, Jared Diamond

45. The Agony and the Ecstasy, Irving Stone

46. The 9/11 Commission Report

47. The Spy Who Came In From the Cold, John le Carre

48. Rising Sun, Michael Crichton

49. A Walk in the Woods, Bill Bryson

50. Airport, Arthur Hailey

51. Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki

52. Burr, Gore Vidal

53. Angela’s Ashes, Frank McCourt

54. The Wheel of Time, Robert Jordan

55. Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer

56. Into the Wild, Jon Krakauer

57. Cryptonomicon, Neal Stephenson

58. Godel, Escher, Bach, Douglas Hofstadter

59. The World According to Garp, John Irving

60. A Brief History of Time, Stephen Hawking

61. The Tin Drum, Gunter Grass

62. On the Road, Jack Kerouac

63. Lord of the Flies, William Golding

64. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien

65. The Bonfire of the Vanities, Tom Wolfe

66. Beowulf, the Seamus Heaney translation

67. Rabbit, Run, John Updike

68. The Satanic Verses, Salman Rushdie

69. The Complete Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

70. The Big Sleep, Raymond Chandler

71. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Ken Kesey

72. A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess

73. House of Leaves, Mark Danielewski

74. The Call of the Wild, Jack London

75. Gravity’s Rainbow, Thomas Pynchon

76. I, Claudius, Robert Graves

77. The Civil War: A Narrative, Shelby Foote

78. American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis (a glaring omission from the original, pointed out by Naomi Fry)

79. Life, Keith Richards