Hansard, the parliamentary record, reveals that the word has headed towards futility for some time. What's unAustralian about Vegemite? It shows that MPs have declared all of these things unAustralian: Parliament House; a duty on tractor parts; tax fraud; investigating war criminals; firebombing Chinese restaurants; abolishing compulsory voting; and gender-neutral language, thanks to John Howard, who also described it as convoluted, inelegant, and ungracious. According to at least one of our representatives, it is unAustralian to criticise operation Sovereign Borders. To not watch a film about backyard cricket set in Wagga. To disparage older Australians (that from Bronwyn Bishop, who might be confusing disparagement of her for that of all older Australians). It is unAustralian to be for WorkChoices, and to be against it. It is unAustralian to restrict unions, and to tolerate lawlessness in the construction industry. It is unAustralian to be against the Iraq invasion, and to be in favour of it.

It's unAustralian not to sing carols at school, to be of a bland and passionless character, to let dobermans loose on the wharves. It is said that binge drinking should be unAustralian, which suggests that it is 100 per cent, dinky-di, true blue, you beaut traditional Aussie behaviour. Last year, the Labor member for Canberra, Gai Brodtmann, said one reason to become a republic was the "many aspects of the British monarchy which I find unAustralian." She left unidentified those aspects of the monarchy which were not unAustralian, given that the family of which she spoke is at the apex of British aristocracy, ruling this continent from the other side of the world, occasionally visiting in a perverse tourism operation, where we pay for them to come and wave at us. The confusion as to what is unAustralian isn't restricted to politicians. Academics in Queensland gathered focus groups to ask them back in 1997, and they decided these people were unAustralian: James Packer, Paul Hogan, Rupert Murdoch and Pauline Hanson, along with Christopher Skase, the entertainer Peter Allen, and historian Geoffrey Blainey​. (Of them all, surely only Murdoch may be justified, given his renunciation of Australian citizenship in 1985 so he could buy US TV stations. For his part, Skase might have been a fugitive, but he was our fugitive.) The groups said it was unAustralian to falsely claim the disability pension, to sue people, and to be flashy and big-headed (this was before Facebook made both socially acceptable). It was unAustralian to commit crime, to be a drunk, abusive man, to be racist. Yet they also said Asian students were unAustralian, and the Irish club, and migrants who don't speak English. It was profoundly unAustralian to barrack for Iran against Australia in the World Cup, even if you happen to be born in Iran. It was unAustralian to go to union rallies, to schoolies, to Mardi Gras.

They declared Chinatown to be unAustralian, along with Hamilton Island, Cabramatta, the Gold Coast, and Sydney, all of which I suspect were all fairly obviously in Australia, or at least until 2013 when the government excised the Australian continent from its own migration zone. The Australian government itself was declared unAustralian, too. Social media lets us see just how meaningless unAustralian has become. On Twitter alone this year, it's been said to be all of these things: Nick Kyrgios. Lleyton Hewitt. Not watching Lleyton Hewitt. Watching tennis instead of cricket. Working the Monday before Australia Day. Calling sunglasses "shades" instead of sunnies. Not calling McDonald's "Maccas". The Qantas Club ban on thongs. Not drinking beer. Taking your neighbour's green wheelie bin. The Muslim naval officer who tweeted stuff The Australian didn't like. The Australian. Pronouncing Nike properly. Promite. Vegemite. Returning from Bali without a Bintang singlet. A Bunnings without a sausage sizzle. Burgers without beetroot. While we're at it, it should be unAustralian to bugger up two Australian governments and have the gall to expect your successor to endorse your unsubtle campaign to run the UN. It's like an irritating, incompetent colleague expecting the boss to write a reference just to be rid of the problem. There is so little that isn't unAustralian that the word ought to be excised from acceptable public discourse. Except when referring to Kevin Rudd. Tim Dick is a Sydney lawyer.

Twitter: @dick_tim