James C. Johnson

After allegations of child abuse, Minnesota Vikings running back, Adrian Peterson said, "… I am, without a doubt, not a child abuser."

As a father of three sons, like many parents, these alarming allegations drew my attention. In addition to raising my own children, I have had the privilege of working with children on a full-time basis for the past 14 years. For eight years I served at a large youth center in Indianapolis as the director, and six years as the principal of Temple Christian Academy. In those venues, I have served many families who have suffered from the results of inconsistent, irresponsible parenting tactics.

Mr. Peterson, and every parent, should consider God's design for parenting and find the balance God intends. Ephesians 6:4 states, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

The Bible is instructing parents to, "provoke not your children to wrath." It is saying that their God-given authority as parents does not allow for unreasonable demands that might drive a child to anger, despair, or even resentment. This command applies to famous NFL players, as well as every parent.

In the next phrase, "but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord," the word of God provides God's pattern for parenting. The words, "nurture and admonition" speak of loving discipline, chastening, training and instruction.

The application of loving discipline and training is not easy for good parents. Discipline and training is the real work of parenting. Many parents err on the side of conceding to the will of their child. Civilized character is not molded by giving a child everything he or she desires. Instead, civilized character is realized in the work teaching a child how to focus on approved behavior in order to enjoy the liberties of life as governed by God and society.

In my experience, I have seen many well-meaning parents make the mistake of over sympathizing with their child's emotional outbursts and perceived needs, instead of teaching them how to have strength to handle their emotions. In most cases, when a parent chooses sympathy over strength they are ultimately weakening the character of the child.

Parents should mold the life of a child in a God-honoring way; a way that reaches the heart. There is a difference between uniformity and unity. A child may conform to the demands of parents for fear of consequence, but in their heart, there is a lack of unity and understanding. The goal of parents should be to instruct and train their children to live for, and love God, from their heart.

Every parent knows children are born with self-will. Children do not come into the world obedient and submissive. Instead, they come into the world sinful and selfish. You do not have to teach your child to say, "no," or "mine!"

The Minnesota Crime Commission declared, "Every baby starts life as a little savage. He is completely selfish and self-centered. He wants what he wants when he wants it: his bottle, his mother's attention, his playmate's toys, his uncle's watch, or whatever. Deny him these and he seethes with rage and aggressiveness which would be murderous were he not so helpless. He's dirty; he has no morals, no knowledge, no developed skills. This means that all children, not just certain children but all children are born delinquent."

The task of raising a child is formidable. Parents must spend time teaching children right from wrong. They must invest time in teaching them to love God with all their heart, soul and mind.

Sadly, allegations of child abuse are constantly in the headlines. We all must remember that the most precious and valuable thing parents have been given is their children. Let each of us discover, and consistently practice, the biblical balance of God's pattern for parenting, and steward wisely this wonderful privilege.

James C. Johnson is pastor of Temple Baptist Church. Connect with him on Twitter @TempleMuncie, or check out the church's website atwww.templebaptistmuncie.org.