The year is 2011 it’s about 10pm. The air is still with a mild chill — much like you would expect from an October in England. This week was my first week at university. I had promised myself that — Unlike at school — I would make friends. It was about to go horribly wrong.

So on this October evening at 10pm. Me and my 5 new flatmates we’re in the queue to enter the university nightclub. On the outside these events we’re perfectly normal, even exciting. But on the Inside The anxiety was reaching boiling point. This new social situation was just too new.

Me leaving university in 2015

They say we have two Instincts. fight or flight, and on this embarrassing occasion I chose the latter. As cringeworthy as it is to admit when heads we’re turned, I fled the scene.

I’m not telling you this as a precursor to moving this blog to Tumblr. I’m telling you this because as a Software Engineer my job is about — first and foremost — working as part of a team. And this story captures why that fact has been the defining challenge of my career.

So fast toward 7 years. And I’m in another new social situation. I’m about to give a talk on ‘Mob Programming’ at FullStack 2018. Given the last story you might be holding your breath wondering How I made it through. The great news is that I did.

So here’s 3 things that I did to be able too give my first conference talk. If you’re an introvert then these tips might be of help to you too.

But first a definition….

What is an introvert?

If you asked an introvert what introversion is, they might give you some of the following traits:

Being unduly anxious during and ahead of ordinary social events that others seem either unintimidated by or excited for.

Being unsure how to respond or behave in social situations that others seem to navigate with ease.

Feeling excluded from or not fully part of groups around of you e.g. teams at work.

In truth I don’t think any of these are fundamental traits that an introvert must have. what they are are things that come along with a personality that feels drained by social Interaction.

I’m telling you this because as introverts we often let ourselves fall into a fixed mindset, in which traits like these are inescapable parts of our personality. Over the last 7 years what I’ve learn’t is to start small. do something a little outside your comfort zone and work up. You’ll do fine.

So now for my 3 tips

If you’ve opened this blog post it means that you are at the stage (weather you are comfortable with that or not) where you are planning on giving your first conference talk. at the start of the post I promised you 3 tips that would help you make the most of it. Here they are:

1: Slow Down.