Facing your fear of career change

Right up there with relationship issues and anxiety, I frequently hear patients say some version of, “I hate my job, but I have no idea what to do about it.” Years can pass between the moment those words are first uttered and the moment anything meaningful is done about it. Work is a huge part of people’s lives and it can determine where someone finds meaning, identity, confidence, and community. It is hard to be at peace when your job is not aligned with your vision of yourself.

There can be a lot of emotional work to be done before someone feels ready to quit a job and/or change careers. A person may have to grapple with change and uncertainty, confront feelings of failure, or grieve the loss of the career path they thought they would have. A common barrier to change is also when there is no mental space left to think about change. When you are caught up in the chaos and drama of a distressing work situation you can sometimes barely address your basic needs much less contemplate how life can be different. So for those of you who struggle with roadblocks to quitting your job, here are some things to consider before you dive back into misery and chaos.

Flow State

Put your current job situation in perspective: Imagine a job where you go to work and time passes effortlessly and you leave feeling satisfied with your day’s work. Everything you do at your job, even the menial tasks, feel easy because they are consistent with who you are and what you want to achieve. This tends to be the case in careers based on flow states. Being in flow is a state of hyperfocus where you get out of your own way to accomplish a task. Nothing else exists in that state other than what you are doing: no to-do lists, no extraneous thoughts, no discomfort, no doubt. Even your heart-rate and breathing slow down. When you get to achieve states like that on a regular basis, you know you are in a good spot with your career. Going to work now feels like walking downhill.

As an example of someone who has capitalized on a flow state, Oprah talks about giving up a career in journalism to follow her instincts. That process has led to an empire built upon her natural skill at making personal connections with strangers. Anybody who has watched her interview can see how effortless it is for her to get people to trust her and confess intimate revelations. Perhaps the best way to find and achieve flow states regularly in your career is to listen to your instincts and follow your natural skills where you feel most confident. Of course, this process is a journey that does not happen overnight and does not allow for staying put at an ill-fitting job.

Excuses

Recognize excuses for what they are: excuses. For example, “I’ll never get it as good as I have it now,” “I owe it to my co-workers or boss to stay,” “It’s not a good time right now,” “What if I want to start a family?”, “I’m too old to take a risk like that,” and “I can’t afford to take time off.” These excuses can seem really understandable. I may agree with you in the moment. But are they really insurmountable problems or even that big of a challenge?? Don’t people face these same obstacles every day and quit anyway? National labor surveys have suggested that the average American changes careers seven times in a lifetime. People find a way to make this change work if they have to. Try not to get caught up in these seemingly important considerations if it means getting sucked back into the grind. Who knows when you might be able to resurface to make meaningful career change. Remember that, if you are stuck in a job that is toxic to you, it also affects your thinking and perspective. Removing yourself from that environment will often allow you to see things from a different and more positive perspective.

Taking the Plunge

Maybe you already have a good idea of what you would enjoy much more as a career than what you do now. But some people just don’t know for sure and don’t know how to find out. That uncertainty can be terrifying and paralyzing, often adding another year of misery before change can proceed. Some people think if they sit tight that somehow they will become more enlightened over time. But when you stay at a stale or ill-fitting job under duress from fear, your mind will be unable to access inspiration. What it boils down to is just taking the plunge. Quitting is the fire under your butt that will make you explore and find out what lights you up.

Not Quite Sure?

If you are still harboring doubts as to whether you can make meaningful change in your career, then consider this. How many times have you heard someone regret quitting a job they were unhappy at? Not many. That’s because if you are consistently unhappy at a job it is a sign that it is not a good fit and you need to move on. Everybody will agree with your choice once you are honest with yourself—even your employers. Of course it helps to understand why, but that may come later. The sooner you can accept and embrace that idea, the easier the process will be. Nobody can do this for you except you (unless you are fired). Some people may find it scary to have to change course, but there is no good reason to stay. Waiting for that next bonus is a slippery slope that leads to nowhere. The most successful people know that time is the truly limited resource, so stop wasting it!

Action Stations!

One of the best ways to get ready to quit your job is to set reasonable expectations about what the process will look like. In my experience it takes one to two years before you can feel emotionally solid with a new career. If it is just a job change then you can expect to bounce back quickly. Totally give yourself two weeks to veg in front of the tv in your PJs until you are ready to explore networking or job opportunities. You deserve it.

You did the right thing; now keep going. Feeling uncomfortable about the uncertainty you have introduced into your life? Congratulations! You have officially taken the reigns to your career. Start listening to yourself and see where it takes you. Stop making excuses. The hard part of change is over and now you can move forward with your career life on your terms.