I’m attracted to people not genders (Picture: Lewis Oakley)

I am a 24 year old bisexual man – no, I’m not confused, no, I’m not gay, no, I’m not going through a phase.

What’s more, I’m proud to be a bi guy – if you only knew the fun I was having you’d be jealous.

For the last few months I’ve been dating an amazing girl, so imagine my shock and horror to find out that people have been quizzing her about my sexuality.

How would you feel knowing that strangers have told the person you’re dating that you are confused or hiding the fact that you’re gay?




Dating is hard enough without the added pressures of unknown spectators who feel the need to offer their opinion on a topic they know nothing about.

As a bisexual man in 2016 I’m used to the comments, I’ve heard the questions and my answers leave little room for a counter argument.

However, to find out that the people I date are at just as much risk of biphobia as I am is shocking.

Here’s the top 10 most common questions I am asked so you can finally stop wondering.

Why do people have such a hard time believing a man can be bisexual? (Picture: Lewis Oakley)

Are you lying?

No I’m not lying, I’m bragging. I date people because of their personality, not just because of what’s in-between their legs and that’s a far more authentic way to live.

Basically – I’m not a pervert who has declared themselves loyal only to one type of genitalia.

Do you look at men when you date women?

I’m going to tell you a secret.

Even if your married, your husband still notices other women.

It’s called hormones and as of May 2016 there is no known cure.

If you’re choosing not to date a bisexual man as a tactical method to avoid being cheated on you need to rethink your approach.

Cheating is a personality trait not a sexuality trait.

Is having sex with a girl weird?

No, in fact when it comes to sex, I think bisexual men are probably better in bed.

Straight men can only understand sex from one perspective, bisexual men can understand it from both.

We also have the advantage of being able to see what other men are capable of between the sheets and steal their moves, that’s why women love us.

This is what a bi guy looks like (Picture: Lewis Oakley)

Are you gay?

Nothing I can really say on this one to convince you other than I know what makes my penis fill with blood and you don’t.

Yes, some men damage our reputation by pretending to be bi on their way out of the closet (thanks Tom Daley), but those men are gay, bisexual men are bisexual.

Are you confused?

Once you’ve had a few experiences with both genders you’ll be able to know if this life is for you.

I’m not confused, that’s why I identify as bisexual not bicurious.



In fact, the only one confused in this situation are the biphobes.

Clearly the concept of choosing a person not a gender is beyond some people’s mental capacity.

Aren’t you just being greedy?

Being greedy is eating too much cake, choosing not to limit myself to one gender in the search to find a soulmate is just smart.

In any event it’s who I am and I can’t change my genetic make-up.

If you need to think of me as greedy to sleep at night that’s fine.

It’s really not that simple (Picture: Corbis)

If you’re dating a guy doesn’t that make you gay?

No, if I’m dating someone that changes my relationship status not my sexuality.

Which one do you prefer?

The classic question asked to give people peace of mind and find out if I’m more straight or gay.

The truth is I don’t have a preference.

Women are amazing, but they are also annoying. Men are amazing, but they are also annoying.

See where I’m going with this?

And to answer the ultimate taboo, there really isn’t much difference in the bedroom.

Are you attracted to everyone?

No, I’m not some straight man that thinks every hole is a goal.

When you remove the gender factor from attraction you realise just how specific your type is.

Are you attracted to me?

Probably not.

So there you have it, all the answers to the top ten biphobic questions. I hope that’s helped.

Tweet me @lewyoaks

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