I've seen some people describe this game as sweet. Depression and Anxiety are not sweet things, they are a darkness the creators of this game clearly do not understand. This game isn't just bad, it's borderline offensive.



As a real sufferer of Major Depressive Disorder, I am highly unamused by these armchair psychology adventure games about depression and anxiety on steam. Generally speaking, they portray self-diagnosed upper-middle class individuals who live lives of little to no adversity. In this regard, Samantha Browne is no different. The character absolutely suffers no actual anxiety or depression. The Samantha Browne featured in this game is simply lazy, unwilling to accept criticism, and views all other female characters in the story very misogynistically. At one point, she expresses no issue with venturing into general public, her "anxiety" only relates to talking to other young adult women in her dorm who might challenge or call into question her physical value to men. The themes at work here are oddly enough anti-feminist, and Sam is often times a straight up internalized misogynist. If I had to sum Samantha up with a spattering of adjectives, she's unskilled, overprivileged, ignorant, has an unwarranted sense of self-importance, has no common sense, and makes terrible decisions constantly.



Included below is a Stream-Of-Consciousness style play-by-play of a playthrough of this game so you can understand how horrifically banal, overprivileged, and logically absurd the whole thing is without actually contributing to its sales. Great works of feminist literature have been written about these topics, and for this or anything like it to be lumped in with them is absurd. This is feminism for people who have never sat through Roots or The Color Purple. Playthrough:



As I opened the game and gazed upon the 3-frame steam rising from the already-made oatmeal, I became overwhelmed with trepidation. Why was the oatmeal already made? In an attempt to access some kind of options menu to turn down the absurdly loud music, I entered a credits menu, and my fear turned to outright terror. There were no options. This was a game made in Renpy, and there were no options. I would be forced to play this game with its 7-key toddler keyboard soundtrack on max volume with clipping. I do not like my experience being restricted, so I alt-tabbed out of the game at this point, only to discover that the window was nowhere on my task bar. The music still poisoning my ears, I remembered to lower the volume in my OS, at which point the track started over. It was becoming abundantly clear to me that, somehow, somewhere, someone thought this music was worth playing at absolute max volume allowed via the engine.



Despite the ominous feeling deep within my bones, I soldiered on and returned to the game via alt-tab. As it turns out, Samantha Browne is the kind of girl who makes oatmeal in your grandma's cat coffee cup, how quaint. Mulling over Sam's bad decision making was getting me nowhere, the time to begin this Adventure(s) was upon me.



Only a few seconds into the game I was startled to learn that Samantha Browne is, in fact, not one of US, but one of UK. So Indie. I was introduced to Sam's "remote" 5-story, at least 70 room, dorm in the middle of campus. It's a flat, not because she's british, but because that's what the other students call it. Uh... Okay. We now learn that Sam has 0 friends. Bummer. Poor Sam, she truly lives a tortured existence of macbooks and iPhones that I'm sure only her mom calls her on. I was offered a chance to view the consequences of not obliging Sam's horrible decision to eat a high-carb food 6 hours into the night. "I'm sure she'll just ♥♥♥♥♥ on Tumblr," I thought, before clicking the top option.



I got introduced to Sam's desktop pretty quickly, upon which I learned that she was at least some degree of a furry, wonderful... In addition, she was illegally viewing copyrighted material on a TV Streams site. Samantha's power as a good role model for young women was only growing. The only word I can pick out of the Pirated TV dialogue is the male saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" in a threatening manner to the female. How mature and progressive, I thought! I am now thrust into my first decision, do I lie to my furry boyfriend about my """crippling" "social" "anxiety""" (emphasis mine), or do I "make up some excuse"? I told the truth, because as we've already explained, my Sam is a smart furry role model who is working on improving her awful decision making. She quickly undoes my decision by spelling because "coz", much to my chagrin. We learn that Sam has no problem going to a Grocery Store, but can't be assed to walk downstairs because a person or two might be there. Sam continues saying and doing illogical things for 2 minutes. That was a joke, but the game immediately broke into 5 minutes being told to me not shown... after I wrote that joke. I can't make this up. After an official had declared Sam fully out of bed, choices once again forced themselves into the narrative. I could pick whichever oatmeal I liked. Joy! Upon my selection of Apples & Cinnamon, Sam spelled yes "YAAAAAHHHHSSS". I begin to lose energy to play the game. One man can only be expected to put up with so much tongue-in-cheek exaggeration. I picked a single oatmeal packet, but Sam overrode my decision and forced me to pick 2 because she isn't a bovine or something. "Look at me, making choices, like an adult," the adult character said. The toxic unchecked western privilege had begun to consume me. I am now playing a mini-game where I choose a spoon from a selection of one spoon while a 7 second jazz loop of royalty free muzak plays. This is a real game on steam, I chuckle to myself. Sam proceeds to complain about walking 10 feet. As she steps into the hallway, we learn that our introverted protagonist who "is scared of being seen" is wearing booty shorts that we had no option or inkling to change out of, probably because we're an overprivileged white womanchild who is afflicted with habitual whining instead of any real depression or anxiety, just a hunch. As it turns out, Sam's social stigma stems from someone trying to give her constructive criticism on her makeup, you know, the makeup that a character with introversion and social anxiety naturally wears all the time!



I am given the choice to talk to two friendly looking Stephen Universe fanfiction characters, both of the female gender. I choose to not speak to them as Sam has clearly established a dislike for women and only women because they may compete with her or criticize her. Sam has trouble using a kettle, but doesn't have the inkling to google a solution on her iPhone. Use of the iPhone is also not an option for wasting time, and for some reason we must stay in the kitchen while the oatmeal steeps. I am now in a stirring montage. This is on steam. Sam doesn't even know how to remove things from microwaves and also doesn't seem to understand simple Newtonian Mechanics relating to fluids. Despite previously refusing to talk to anyone, Sam makes a very snide remark to the other girls that they can "have their kitchen back". This level of frank misogyny shocked me. By the time I have made it back to introverted Sam's room she is baring her midriff and the artist has now decided to differentiate the cheeks of her butt with a line. Classy.



We've locked ourself out of the room and the furry boyfriend has become dismayed, whatever will we do?



I don't know because apparently I lost the game at this point, Sam can't complain about her hunger on Tumblr because she's locked out of the room, and we can't go talk to the other girls because as we've already covered, Sam is a raving misogynist, so we simply get a game over.



This game is painfully stupid, it should not be considered free until the developers find a way to refund the time you waste playing it.



0/10. Worst game I've played in a few years.

I've seen some people describe this game as sweet. Depression and Anxiety are not sweet things, they are a darkness the creators of this game clearly do not understand. This game isn't just bad, it's borderline offensive. As a real sufferer of Major Depressive Disorder, I am highly unamused by these armchair psychology adventure games about depression and anxiety on steam. Generally speaking, they portray self-diagnosed upper-middle class individuals who live lives of little to no adversity. In this regard, Samantha Browne is no different. The character absolutely suffers no actual anxiety or depression. The Samantha Browne featured in this game is simply lazy, unwilling to accept criticism, and views all other female characters in the story very misogynistically. At one point, she expresses no issue with venturing into general public, her "anxiety" only relates to talking to other young adult women in her dorm who might challenge or call into question her physical value to men. The themes at work here are oddly enough anti-feminist, and Sam is often times a straight up internalized misogynist. If I had to sum Samantha up with a spattering of adjectives, she's unskilled, overprivileged, ignorant, has an unwarranted sense of self-importance, has no common sense, and makes terrible decisions constantly. Included below is a Stream-Of-Consciousness style play-by-play of a playthrough of this game so you can understand how horrifically banal, overprivileged, and logically absurd the whole thing is without actually contributing to its sales. Great works of feminist literature have been written about these topics, and for this or anything like it to be lumped in with them is absurd. This is feminism for people who have never sat through Roots or The Color Purple. Playthrough: As I opened the game and gazed upon the 3-frame steam rising from the already-made oatmeal, I became overwhelmed with trepidation. Why was the oatmeal already made? In an attempt to access some kind of options menu to turn down the absurdly loud music, I entered a credits menu, and my fear turned to outright terror. There were no options. This was a game made in Renpy, and there were no options. I would be forced to play this game with its 7-key toddler keyboard soundtrack on max volume with clipping. I do not like my experience being restricted, so I alt-tabbed out of the game at this point, only to discover that the window was nowhere on my task bar. The music still poisoning my ears, I remembered to lower the volume in my OS, at which point the track started over. It was becoming abundantly clear to me that, somehow, somewhere, someone thought this music was worth playing at absolute max volume allowed via the engine. Despite the ominous feeling deep within my bones, I soldiered on and returned to the game via alt-tab. As it turns out, Samantha Browne is the kind of girl who makes oatmeal in your grandma's cat coffee cup, how quaint. Mulling over Sam's bad decision making was getting me nowhere, the time to begin this Adventure(s) was upon me. Only a few seconds into the game I was startled to learn that Samantha Browne is, in fact, not one of US, but one of UK. So Indie. I was introduced to Sam's "remote" 5-story, at least 70 room, dorm in the middle of campus. It's a flat, not because she's british, but because that's what the other students call it. Uh... Okay. We now learn that Sam has 0 friends. Bummer. Poor Sam, she truly lives a tortured existence of macbooks and iPhones that I'm sure only her mom calls her on. I was offered a chance to view the consequences of not obliging Sam's horrible decision to eat a high-carb food 6 hours into the night. "I'm sure she'll just bitch on Tumblr," I thought, before clicking the top option. I got introduced to Sam's desktop pretty quickly, upon which I learned that she was at least some degree of a furry, wonderful... In addition, she was illegally viewing copyrighted material on a TV Streams site. Samantha's power as a good role model for young women was only growing. The only word I can pick out of the Pirated TV dialogue is the male saying "FUCKING" in a threatening manner to the female. How mature and progressive, I thought! I am now thrust into my first decision, do I lie to my furry boyfriend about my """crippling" "social" "anxiety""" (emphasis mine), or do I "make up some excuse"? I told the truth, because as we've already explained, my Sam is a smart furry role model who is working on improving her awful decision making. She quickly undoes my decision by spelling because "coz", much to my chagrin. We learn that Sam has no problem going to a Grocery Store, but can't be assed to walk downstairs because a person or two might be there. Sam continues saying and doing illogical things for 2 minutes. That was a joke, but the game immediately broke into 5 minutes being told to me not shown... after I wrote that joke. I can't make this up. After an official had declared Sam fully out of bed, choices once again forced themselves into the narrative. I could pick whichever oatmeal I liked. Joy! Upon my selection of Apples & Cinnamon, Sam spelled yes "YAAAAAHHHHSSS". I begin to lose energy to play the game. One man can only be expected to put up with so much tongue-in-cheek exaggeration. I picked a single oatmeal packet, but Sam overrode my decision and forced me to pick 2 because she isn't a bovine or something. "Look at me, making choices, like an adult," the adult character said. The toxic unchecked western privilege had begun to consume me. I am now playing a mini-game where I choose a spoon from a selection of one spoon while a 7 second jazz loop of royalty free muzak plays. This is a real game on steam, I chuckle to myself. Sam proceeds to complain about walking 10 feet. As she steps into the hallway, we learn that our introverted protagonist who "is scared of being seen" is wearing booty shorts that we had no option or inkling to change out of, probably because we're an overprivileged white womanchild who is afflicted with habitual whining instead of any real depression or anxiety, just a hunch. As it turns out, Sam's social stigma stems from someone trying to give her constructive criticism on her makeup, you know, the makeup that a character with introversion and social anxiety naturally wears all the time! I am given the choice to talk to two friendly looking Stephen Universe fanfiction characters, both of the female gender. I choose to not speak to them as Sam has clearly established a dislike for women and only women because they may compete with her or criticize her. Sam has trouble using a kettle, but doesn't have the inkling to google a solution on her iPhone. Use of the iPhone is also not an option for wasting time, and for some reason we must stay in the kitchen while the oatmeal steeps. I am now in a stirring montage. This is on steam. Sam doesn't even know how to remove things from microwaves and also doesn't seem to understand simple Newtonian Mechanics relating to fluids. Despite previously refusing to talk to anyone, Sam makes a very snide remark to the other girls that they can "have their kitchen back". This level of frank misogyny shocked me. By the time I have made it back to introverted Sam's room she is baring her midriff and the artist has now decided to differentiate the cheeks of her butt with a line. Classy. We've locked ourself out of the room and the furry boyfriend has become dismayed, whatever will we do? I don't know because apparently I lost the game at this point, Sam can't complain about her hunger on Tumblr because she's locked out of the room, and we can't go talk to the other girls because as we've already covered, Sam is a raving misogynist, so we simply get a game over. This game is painfully stupid, it should not be considered free until the developers find a way to refund the time you waste playing it. 0/10. Worst game I've played in a few years. Check this box if you received this product for free (?) Do you recommend this game? Yes No Cancel Save Changes