Leadership. Integrity. Spray.

Leadership. Integrity. Spray.

WINTERSET, Ia. – Donald Trump says if he gets elected president, he would have to change his hair style because he wouldn't have time to maintain it, as he would be working his butt off in the White House.

"I would probably comb my hair back. Why? Because this thing is too hard to comb," he said. "I wouldn't have time, because if I were in the White House, I'd be working my ass off."

He'll defeat ISIS single-handedly. He'll build a wall on our southern border and make Mexico pay for it. He'd change his hair Now there's a lede. File this under Elections, Our Modern, and also under promises President Donald Trump would never be able to keep. Donald Trump without his hair helmet would be like Rick Santorum without his sanctimoniousness. Without his defining feature he'd just be an everyday, normal asshole.What? He doesn't have people for that? Hiring on a new staff to comb President Trump's hair seems like one of those shovel-ready projects we're always going on about. Create those jobs, Mr. Job Creator.

He's almost certainly going to be in the first debate, you know. This is going to be so, so wonderful.

