In an attempt to defend his honor, Ben took to twitter.com to post his Uber score, which he believed to show that he was a polite boy.

Yesterday, a natural, un-filmed controversy came up at the office. People were accusing Producer Ben, the maestro behind the wizardry of Young and Happy, of being a grump. Accusing him of being rude to people in the service industry. Waitresses, hotel workers, shucks, even Uber drivers.

After that, the flood gates opened. I learned the full scope of Uber scores (or at least the self reporting ones) and Ben’s was towards the bottom. For all the people with scores in the high 4.9s, what is going on?

I got a bunch of intel on the scores of some Barstool folks, and let’s just say it’s pretty illuminating about their personalities. Robbie was one of the main accusers alleging that Ben was mean, to which Ben replied that Robbie was simply soft. Robbie’s rebuttal:

Smitty, somewhat unsurprisingly, misspelled his own last name on his own Uber account.

Riggs snuck in with a respectable score that showed him to be a common man, but with an edge.

Same with YP.

Trent’s score, meanwhile, was shockingly low. Coming from such a nice guy too?

KFC’s was low, but not shockingly.

Donnie, meanwhile, proved to be worldly in every realm.

Word is that if you are under a 4.6 you are a “problematic rider.” Asa is on the cusp.

Glen confirms this.

Some employees didn’t have an Uber score. I wonder why…

Others found themselves mysteriously one upping me.

Some had extraordinary scores.

Some SO extraordinary, one starts to wonder whether they ever grab an Uber pool for the homies.

Others had bad scores:

And some we’re just embarrassing.

The ones that didn’t report on Twitter:

KMarko is a nice 4.69.

Feitleberg is a 4.64.

PFT is a 4.77.

Big Cat was a 4.66 yesterday, but after a couple skipped calls at the Mets game last night he’s down to a 4.60.

Milmore is a 4.75.

Brett is a 4.60. He was a 4.9 before Barstool, but the whole company rides on his account. Whoops.

All Business is a 4.82.

And Clem, in the shocker of them all, clocked in at a 4.33. He requested that I include this message: “Please have him add that if anyone is ever in Chicago and gets Chioma as their driver, cancel that ride ASAP.”

Coley too ranked at a disappointing 4.37.

Our fearless leader Dave checks in at a 4.61.

The clubhouse leader, however, was Frankie Borelli, who clocked in at a 4.91.

Wow. What a ride. A lot of statistics to pour over and a lot of inferences to be made.