I am in general a very private person so this is incredibly humbling and the hardest thing I've ever had to write so thank you in advance for reading and helping in any way you can. Not long ago our Ozwald started limping and having a bit of lameness on his front left leg. I inspected his paw thinking he may have stepped on something or was developing an interdigital cyst but his paw appeared to be all good. He did have a bump on his leg that I believed to be a mosquito or spider bite but that was the only visible sign of any type of injury. Being an English bulldog he has very dense bones and has a low center of gravity that limits him a bit but Ozzy loves to run and jump and bounce off stuff like all happy puppers. The only other thing I could think of was the possibility he pulled a muscle or stretched a ligament...something of the sort. I started wrapping his leg in a bandage to help hold the muscle to his bone so it could heal well and he realized how much he loves heating pads but something wasn't right. His leg was not only not getting any better it seemed to be getting worse no matter what type of care I gave him and the bump on his leg was growing instead of going away. After a week of this it was time to go see the vet because I was at a total loss. When I called the office they told me to drop him off first thing the next morning so he could stay for the day. We of course can't just order our babies to be still so getting a proper look at his leg was going to require sedation. We anxiously awaited the call for us to come pick him up and get his care instructions because the house just feels empty to us without him in it. After the phone call came I wished it hadn't. One of his 15 year old twin brothers brought me the phone. He was crying and said "Mom, it's the doctor. She's saying Oz has a tumor. I grabbed the phone from him. There is no way they just relayed such critical information to my child without even speaking to me first. The Vet Tech identified herself and told me Oz has a tumor in his leg and I can come pick him up so we can discuss it. We got to the office and I immediately went to make sure the candle wasn't lit. You know, the one they light when a family is saying goodbye to a loved one. My mind was everywhere, even crazy places. It was a short wait in the waiting room and even shorter wait in the exam room after we were escorted back. When the doctor came in she immediately pulled up Ozzy's films and showed us this huge tumor on his ulna bone in his little leg. I just don't have it in me to recount the whole visit but she informed me my baby had bone cancer. The most aggressive type. The treatment plan she had for him was euthanasia. She said we would have a week so we needed to pick a date. After a long conversation with many questions she left the exam room to go get Oz. She wouldn't even entertain removing his leg or any treatment. Palliative care was all she would do. I got off my husband's lap and walked over to vomit in her trash can. It's the first time I can remember my body physically rejecting something said to me but I just can't and won't accept choosing a date. Other than pain in his leg, which can be treated, he shows no signs of being sick. We are all so in love with him and he's not even had his 1st birthday yet. I am so angry and my heart is so broken! It took us two years to even be ready for another fur baby. We traumatically lost our 14 year old Marley to a brain tumor that ruptured in the night. I am thankful I was the one who discovered the terrifying scene but I don't know if or when I will fully recover from it. It was seriously traumatic!Ozzy is the first thing that has started healing this loss in my soul so I can't wrap my head around how this can be happening. Once again, I don't know how to ease the pain in my babies hearts. What do I say? What do I do? My brain is broken. I'm somehow stuck on stupid. My heart is just shattered. My sons and husband are being my strength and comfort when I am supposed to be theirs. I should be helping my boys process this but I don't know how because I can't process it. I don't have to tell any of you doggo/animal parents that walking through the front door of your veterinarian's office or hospital is where the bills start adding up. The bigger the diagnosis the bigger the fees. Cancer means going to a specialist vet. It means amputation and chemotherapy. Cancer means money we just don't have to treat our fur baby his meds and office visits alone are a lot. Cannabidiol has been most helpful to him so far but it is not cheap. I recently found out exactly what when it rains it pours means. Obviously, choosing between Oz's treatments or providing for our boys is really not a choice. Anyone who knows my family well knows my husband is on disability and I am riddled with expensive health problems. My insurance only covers a portion of my treatment and my premium alone is almost $300 monthly. We have 3 teenage sons to provide and our eldest started college this year. I totaled my car in an accident. Our heating/air unit went kaput and, of course, the new unit had to be paid in full before installation. Needless to say, we live life on an exceptionally tight budget. At this point we are in debt. It has become a struggle to provide for our children and manage the monthly bills let alone provide extra care that is of financial cost for Oz that are always unknown figures. I wouldn't say I am a proud person by any means but I have never liked to ask anyone for anything but it's time to admit we are starting to drown so I have no choice but to ask for help. If you know me you know I would give my last of anything to anyone in need but now we are the ones in need. I am not a beggar and I'm certainly not trying to get rich. Especially, off the backs of others but we are in a serious situation and I am turning to you for help. You are my family, my friends, my loved ones, my community, my fellow humans. Even if you are not a doggo person or a kid person we would be most grateful for any help or you can bless my family with even if it's just sharing our story. I wish I could keep any other person or family from this type of heartbreak. Quite literally, there is only thing I can imagine being more painful than this. That is, helplessly, knowing I am losing one of the human loves in my life while witnessing these same loved ones going through it as well. We are most grateful so thank you and bless you and your family furry and smooth skinned alike!

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