Today, a man called Roy and his squadron of plucky footballists take on the might of Uruguay and a small man with sticking-out teeth in a “six-pointer”.



So with sound editorial reason, and definitely not jumping on the bandwagon of a subject we don’t necessarily understand in sufficient depth, Top Gear has assembled the finest XI of English ‘players’ to do their nation proud in South America. And by ‘players’, obviously we mean ‘cars’. Yeah, you saw that twist coming, right?



Please note we’re not suggesting that Hodgson deploys these 11 lumps of sharp, powerful metal onto the Arena Amazonia on June 14 for England’s first game against the squishy, unquestionably human Italian team. That’d be hideously messy. Though possibly less messy what might actually happen.



Some say this is nothing more than an excuse to run pretty pictures of English cars, barely strung together with a series of weak footballing puns. All we know is, they’re probably right.