In today's deeply unsettling news: men's beards are disgusting cesspools of germs and poop.

A lab in New Mexico decided to ruin all of our happy make-out sessions and enjoyment of Jamie Dornan by going round and testing the beards of random guys in the street. They swabbed men's beards, took those samples back to their lab, and changed the world forever by revealing that all that majestic facial hair is "riddled with poop particles". Oh.

The study concluded that beards are as "dirty as toilets", finding the kind of germs that "you see in faeces". Cheery.

And, if you're now shuddering at flashbacks of all the beardy hook-ups you've had, it gets worse. "These are the things that cause urinary tract infections," says one of the labs scientists.

To be fair, as Vuz TV put it, there's poop on EVERYTHING. Mobile phones, toothbrushes, laptops, your own hands. Super reassuring. Thanks for that reminder, guys.

Bottom line: men, clean your damn beards.

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