(See the end of the chapter for notes .)

Chapter Text

Epilogue III

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Adgar’s hands tied a full windsor out of habit. He frowned at his reflection and sighed as he undid his tie. This time, he took a moment to think and did a half windsor knot.

“Much better,” he murmured to himself. It was, after all, just dinner. No need to be too formal.

His eyes drifted to the gray gradient sneaking out from his temples. At his age, almost everything he did came across as formal in one way or another. Or maybe it was just the way he carried himself. Briefly, he tried slouching. It made him look ridiculous. Adgar fidgeted with his collar. He didn’t want to come across as too… what, even. Inaccessible?

“Are you done, dear?” Idunn called from the bedroom.

“Just about.” He adjusted his tie one final time before walking out of the bathroom.

Idunn was sitting on the edge of the bed, putting her earrings on. The afternoon sun cast her in a dramatic light and he smiled. “You look beautiful,” he said.

“There’s a reason I buy so much makeup,” she remarked wryly. Finishing up her earrings, she reached behind her for a necklace laying on the bed.

Adgar took a few quick steps forward and plucked it up before she could. “I’ve got it,” he said. She rolled her eyes at him, but smiled while she did it. He smiled back at her and clasped it around her neck.

“Thank you,” she said.

“You’re welcome.” He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek. Her eyes seemed distant, focused vaguely out the window.

Sometimes, he wondered if she was thinking of someone else.

She turned back to him and tilted her head. “Are you ready?”

Being preoccupied by the concern was an old habit, however, long discarded. He sighed. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

And concern aside, if she was thinking of someone else sometimes it was honestly only fair.

He held out his hand and Idunn took it as she stood up. He looked her over as her dress settled around her calves. It was the purple one, as casual as Idunn tended to dress. The earrings were familiar, one of her wardrobe staples, and the necklace was one that he’d given her, for some anniversary several years past.

“Is there any going back from this?” he mused.

Idunn grabbed her purse. Adgar shut the door behind them. “In general, life does not allow for genuine do-overs,” she said.

“Yes, yes. Time only moves forward. Physics and all.” He shot her a look as they went down the stairs. “You know what I mean, Idunn.”

“Everyone has to live out their choices in life,” she continued. “There is no going back, but that’s okay.” She paused at the front door and gave him a piercing look that softened into fondness. Her voice dropped. “It’s okay if it’s a little messed up,” she said.

Her shift in expression relaxed him. If they had nothing else, their truest bond was being willing to stick it out with one another, despite all mistakes.

They were absolutely a little messed up.

And that was okay.

He took a deep breath as he opened the door for her. If it was good enough for him and Idunn, it was good enough for Elsa and Anna.

The confidence stayed with him long enough to start the car and pull out of the driveway. He faltered at the first stoplight.

“What if this is just a terrible choice for them,” he asked.

“Then it’s a choice they have to live with,” Idunn said, voice sharper. “The two of them, no matter their path but especially this one, will have to let their choices play out. The pressure should be off of us. As far as we’re concerned, this is just ‘meet the parents’ night.” She paused, but he could sense that she wasn’t done.

They drove a block in silence before Idunn added, “For our part… we need to make our own choices tonight that we are willing to live with. In how we meet Anna, in how we respond to the two of them. That is our focus. If we mess up, we live with it. But we should at least try not to say anything we’ll regret.”

“Mmmmm.” He hummed an acknowledgement.

Adgar had always liked driving. In particular, it was good to have something he was doing if he needed to have a difficult conversation with someone. Driving gave him a secondary focus, something to keep him from overthinking everything. He gave himself over to paying close attention to the road while he processed what Idunn had said.

“It’s strange,” he said at length, “to think that we’re supposed to meet Anna as a… as a stranger. She’ll be showing up to dinner tonight as Elsa’s, as Elsa’s girlfriend.” He swallows a lump over the word, but took some small comfort in the fact that his voice bears no tremor.

Small favors, paid forward from previous choices. He glanced sidelong at Idunn, who was studiously examining her nails. Incest was, after all these years, not too shocking a scandal to think of rationally.

It was the other thing that had him choked up.

“I’ve never stopped thinking of her as my daughter,” he said. “It stings to think that she doesn’t think of me as her father.”

Knowing he’d made that bed himself didn’t make it any less shitty to lie in. Still, after all these years, part of him still thought that he’d get another chance to make things right with Anna.

“Well they’re not engaged yet,” Idunn said, “but if it makes you feel better, you could think of Anna as your future daughter-in-law.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at her when they reached a stoplight.

She shrugged. “I thought future daughter, of sorts, would be better than stranger?”

“Fine,” he said. Maybe he’d screwed up so badly that even his second chance was screwed up. That would be somewhat fair. “As long as, one way or another, I’m allowed to care for her. As long as I can find a way to be there for her again, to try and atone for past mistakes.”

“As long as you don’t bring up the past, I don’t think that will be too much of an issue for Anna.”

He glanced at her, sharply, but was looking out the window. Not for the first time, he wondered how long before him she had known. In a way, it made sense. Adgar was fairly certain he would know if Elsa were to, for instance, have an affair. If Idunn had a certain insight that let her in on the secret before Elsa sent them a carefully worded letter, well, that was to be expected.

Between their two vices, he would rather that the girls took after Idunn in their affection for one another than after him for his infidelity.

And yet, that very infidelity had brought Anna into his life. His foot felt leaden on the gas pedal. He sighed and pulled his foot back.

He could never regret his choices, even the terrible ones. All he could do was live with them.

“I think this is the place,” Idunn said.

“Looks right to me.” Adgar pulled into the parking lot.

Idunn saw them first, after they got out of the car. She tapped his elbow to get him to look over toward the restaurant entrance.

His eyes glanced over Elsa. He’d seen her last week; she looked the same. Holding her hand, however, Anna looked so different and the same all at once. He tried to process as many details as possible as they walked over.

His first thought was that she had the same smile as she used to. His next was that she’d grown her bangs out a bit. She had a slight wrinkle on her forehead and looked almost not-herself without her braids.

But he would have recognized her eyes everywhere. She had her mother’s eyes.

He raised a hand to wave at them as he and Idunn walked over.

Elsa and Anna leaned closer together for a moment and Adgar stifled a wince. Though he’d had enough discussions with Idunn on the topic, it didn’t soften his reaction to actually seeing them together, seeing his daughters hold hands as lovers.

But Anna was smiling so widely he had to return the expression.

“It’s nice to meet you, Adgar, Idunn,” she said.

Frankly, he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her this happy.

“It’s wonderful to meet you too,” he said.

“We’ve heard good things,” Idunn said. A thread of humor laced her voice in a joke they couldn’t laugh at.

“Thanks for meeting us here,” Elsa said. He detected a trace of anxiety in Elsa’s voice, but nothing concerning. “Let’s go inside.”

He watched Anna slip a hand around Elsa’s waist as they went inside.

It was so wrong, but it was their choice. Adgar held in a sigh. He would do anything, keep any secret, to keep the both of them in his life.

His gaze caught on Anna’s as they requested a table for four. Her eyes twinkled and he found himself caught between fatherly love and suspicion. Was this her plan? To run off and leave long enough that he would do anything for her to come back? Even accept her with Elsa?

The mischievous glint he’d seen disappeared a beat later and he faintly wondered if he’d imagined it.

They stood awkwardly together as they waited a moment to be seated. But… they had always stood awkwardly when together. The thought made him smile, despite everything. Another joke that had to go untold.

Even if that scheme was Anna’s plan, Adgar found he didn’t mind his part in it. Father to one amazing young woman. Maybe the father-in-law to another. Husband to the most patient, most understanding woman he knew.

Elsa had even picked a nice restaurant for dinner.

The four of them sat down to the table and Adgar sensed a different energy. They hadn’t had dinner together in years, but he could never remember them smiling quite like this, with mouths pulled a bit to the side.

To his surprise, he felt Anna’s smile, Idunn and Elsa’s smile, mimicked on his own face.

Choices to live with, secrets to keep.

There was something in the air between the four of them, a new bond formed around a terrible secret.

But secrets were not so terrible when carefully shared, their weight spread out between those willing to keep it.

Secrets had almost ruined his family before. It seemed fitting that it might be a secret that made them whole again.

“So, Anna,” he said, “Tell me about yourself.”

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Sillage End