Serves 4 – 795 Calories

The Cost

Bamboo Steamer $4.88

Muffin cases $2.29

Salt $0.89

Sambal Oelek $1.79

Pickled Ginger $3.29

Coconut Milk $2.29

Sesame Oil $3.49

Baking Powder $1.99

Sesame Seeds $2.99

Total cost: $23.90 (Does not include fresh ingredients and what I already had in the kitchen.)

Gluten Free Substitutions

Jamie’s coconut buns are made with coconut milk and self-raising flour. I have replaced the self-raising flour with gluten-free baking flour and baking powder.

Hoi Sin sauce is full of gluten, and so I have used this recipe to make my own. (But I have substituted sambal oelek for Chinese hot sauce, my garlic has come out of a bottle, and I’m using tamari instead of soy sauce.)

Other Substitutions

I used Gai Lan (Chinese broccoli) instead of “200g tender-stem broccoli”. The sesame seeds I bought are black. The mushrooms I chose are “wood ear”, “enoki” and “portabella”. Shitake would probably be more authentic, but I am violently allergic to shitake mushrooms and their cousins.

Ok, let’s Cook!

6:38 – I decide I should make the hoisin sauce before “officially” starting Jamie’s recipe. Everything in the food processor! I wait for a lovely silky smooth sauce to appear. Instead, the soy sauce and vinegar begin to froth up alarmingly, pieces of garlic floating gleefully to the top, while the peanut butter and honey congeal stickily together at the bottom. A quick re-read of the recipe reveals that the correct procedure would have been to combine in a small bowl and to whisk together. Yes, I can see why now.

6:50 – Jamie says to make a dough of flour and coconut milk in the food processor, roll it out and partition it into 8 pieces. I’m then to steam these pieces in muffin papers in my brand new bamboo steamer. I scrub out the food processor and then, as instructed, tip in the coconut milk and 2 cans full of gluten free flour before realising that I have not yet added the baking powder to the flour. I find a recipe indicating 2 tsp for each cup of flour – but I didn’t measure in cups – I measured the flour in coconut milk cans. I add 8 tsp on a whim. I forget the salt, so add it to the dough when I remember, and give it a bit more time to mix through. My tiny kitchen has no available bench space and so I first need to put away the food processor and sanitise the bench before rolling the dough out. Finally I get it all into the steamer and onto the stove.

7:11 – I’ve bought way more than the allocated 140g of mushrooms so the scales come out and the mushrooms and chicken are thrown in the bowl with the hoisin sauce and some lime juice. Jamie says to “Tip into the second steamer basket along with the trimmed broccoli and pop underneath the tray of buns for 5 min until cooked through.” I push it all in, chicken juice and marinade dripping out of the bottom as I lift it out of the sink. “Popping” it under the tray of buns proves difficult, but I manage it without too much extra mess.

7:22 – How do people use a speed-peeler to slice an entire cucumber? I do a bit more than half, until risk of speed-peeled fingertips gets too high and then just eat the other part of the cucumber. I check the chicken, it’s still pink, so more time is needed. 5 min? Really Jamie? The heat on the stove goes all the way up.

7:31 – Mr Oliver’s helpful instructions are to toast the sesame seeds until golden… but they are already black… so I just put them in the pan until I think the chicken might be cooked. By this time, the Gai Lan is looking very sad.

7:40 – After 1 hour and 2 min we finally eat!

Stim 1 star

Just didn’t really go for the mix of flavours. The only redeeming quality was the chicken and the tree fungus.

Dodi 2 stars

We threw most of the coconut buns in the bin. Just terrible – doughy and dry at the same time, no real flavour. Awful. The chicken and mushrooms were nice – the chicken was amazingly tender – and I didn’t mind the cucumber pickle/ginger accompaniments, but the buns really were just so bad, and a terrible waste of money and time. Will not cook again.