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Listen to me, because I want to help you. You are not psychotic. You are not going to be psychotic. You do not have any kind of problem that is going to cause you to go crazy or die. Your mind is fine and so is your memory and perception.

I had almost this exact same experience almost exactly one year before you did. Your weed was not laced. Like I said I had this exact experience, and I told myself all those things that scared me into believing something was wrong. I told myself I was crazy, that my **** was laced, that I was going to be locked up in a loony bin, etc. None of this is true.

In this past year I've learned a lot. What you have is temporary drug-induced anxiety which is manifesting itself with severe depersonalization. You don't have memory loss. Depersonalization is often accompanied by a feeling of memory loss due to the fact that you don't feel real anyway, thus your memories don't feel real. You are fine, though.

Panic attacks while high are something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. You were very scared, which is understandable, and that fear was so intense and scarring that you remember it to this day, and you are still afraid of it. That is what anxiety is. You start with one thing that frightens you(eg. a drug-induced panic attack) and then you fear it happening again, and soon you fear that fear, then you fear that fear, and it feeds off of itself. And, you are now so focused due the amount of adrenaline in your bloodstream (the adrenaline is present because of your heightened anxiety, not the drugs) and your habit of fear that you notice your senses TOO MUCH and because of this, you don't feel real. If you were lying on a beautiful beach with the most attractive supermodel you've ever met, would you feel unreal? I doubt it, because you wouldn't be focusing on your senses, you'd be thinking about getting laid. Stop thinking about whether or not your senses are lying to you, stop thinking about whether or not you feel real, just slow down. Be in the present. You're thinking so deeply and so quickly all the time, your brain is freaking wired and because of that you overanalyze your senses. Your senses are the exact same they've been your whole life, and so is your perception, all that's different is your habit of questioning and fearing whether or not they're working right. Stop empowering your anxiety by testing yourself and running away from rationality. Tell yourself you're fine, and stop overanalyzing everything. You are fine.

Also, avoid ALL caffeine until you're sure you feel fine. Caffeine, nicotine, cocaine, all manner of serious stimulants are your worst enemy when dealing with anxiety. Also avoid alcohol, which can leave you more depersonalized than you can even imagine. Look up deep breathing, try some good breathing exercises, learn to relax, learn about the more gentle herbs for relaxation, try some chamomile tea. Exercise regularly; when you push yourself to the physical limit, you don't have time for anxious thoughts, and when you're bursting with happy endorphins from excersising, you won't feel unreal. Learn to recognize when you are having irrational anxious thoughts, and learn to say "STOP IT!" to your anxiety. You are fine. You will be fine. You are in control. Don't be afraid, it's going to be okay.

email me if you want, or i'll talk to you on messenger, because i'm telling you, I had this EXACT SAME EXPERIENCE and I've learned to cope and empower myself and I want to help you.

my email is derfenstein69@yahoo.com