A couple of days ago, on a lark, comedian Elijah Daniel announced that he was going to rewrite the Bible. But he’d make it “gayer just to piss straights off.”

That didn’t mean rewriting the clobber passages conservatives use to condemn LGBTQ people. It meant inserting a hell of a lot of Rihanna, Taylor Swift, and Carly Rae Jepsen. Naturally, the Garden of Eden would be populated by Adam and Steve. And Jesus would turn water into mimosas. (I assume Noah broke out his umbrella-ella-ella.)

And I’ll be damned. He actually did it. He created the ebook in a couple of days.

making god rihanna and noah carly rae jepsen really makes the bible so much better pic.twitter.com/oJAjyzhdtz — fagdad elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 15, 2017

there, fixed that annoying part of the bible pic.twitter.com/PfUZkIQB22 — fagdad elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 16, 2017

in the bible chapter i just edited 2 girls got their dad drunk then literally raped him in a tent???????? tell me more about ur sacred book — fagdad elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 16, 2017

THAT ISNT A JOKE. THAT IS IN YOUR BIBLE. pic.twitter.com/RN26kfw7Nn — fagdad elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 16, 2017

this is really turning out beautiful pic.twitter.com/PGZvpfxfXO — fagdad elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 16, 2017

here it is. i did it. in 2 days i made the bible gayer. welcome to the garden of west hollywood, Adam & Steve. https://t.co/zjUFv9OLY5 — fagdad elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 17, 2017

In case you’re wondering, this isn’t a total rewrite. It’s mostly a standard Bible with certain words replaced with other ones. It’s an exercise in branding and marketing that’s all kinds of hilarious, but not some theologically different revision. And if the book wasn’t enough, the reviews are just as entertaining.

Unfortunately, Daniel hit a snag. About five hours after the book went up on Amazon, the site yanked it from the store…

WE HIT #1 AND THEN AMAZON REMOVED IT FROM THEIR STORE HAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK AMAZON https://t.co/BUOUhos4JP — fagdad elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 17, 2017

… but an hour later, it was back up.

FUCK YOU AMAZON, WE BACK UP BITCHES https://t.co/xJOnOmSxt2 pic.twitter.com/jAQlKJ2aZo — fagdad elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 18, 2017

(Just to be safe, Daniel set up another website to sell the book.)

It’s all in good fun. Some Christians are upset that their holy book is the subject of mockery, but I’ll take being mocked over people taking away my rights any day.

This Bible also has the distinct advantage of being just as accurate as the original.

More accurate, really, since Lord Rihanna actually exists.

