the neck, bruny island



what seems to be the problem officer? i can’t have been texting i don’t have opposable thumbs



The sophisticated conspiracy behind hip-hop’s rise to genre dominancy …I don’t think hip-hop’s rise to dominance is the result of it being a better genre of music (though it is). I am firmly of the belief that there is a sophisticated conspiracy afoot. Basically, what I think happened is around 2007 Jay-Z or someone of that ilk attended an illuminati meeting, and while sat at a comically large table – but one that’s also perfectly round and quite clearly came from a single, gigantic protected tree like a sequoia – outlined a desire for hip-hop to dominate the music industry. In order for this to happen however, the genre as a whole would need to find a way to appeal to the suburban masses who didn’t mind hip-hop but just happened to mostly listen to Eminem. The think tank briefly considered softening their image to combat misperceptions of the genre as violent and aggressive, but this idea was dismissed almost as quickly as it was formulated (remember this was before Drakewas invited to attend meetings). After hours of negotiation, finally the committee stumbled on the perfect solution; all they needed to do to give hip-hop mainstream appeal was trick white people into thinking they could dance to it… Keep reading at Happy Mag