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What had been a simple farting competition has now turned into a power struggle. Unfortunately for you, his mother is holding all the cards. Since you are at a disadvantage, your response must be overwhelming and decisive.

If she will not respect you, then the alternative is to make her fear you.

Draw upon your natural talents. Now is the time to eat plenty of eggs, beans, and other gassy foods. Asparagus might add a nice sting to the gift that God has given you. Just make sure to be well-prepared when the moment comes.

You will need to arrange a face-to-face visit with your boyfriend's mother. You may start the call by offering a false apology, but lie as much as is needed to get her to agree to a face-to-face visit at the trailer. Tell her you forgot something vital. Maybe you can say you lost an earring that your dead grandmother had given you.

Once she's agreed to meet you, arrive timely. Dress well, and give no clue to the colonic violence you are ready to impart. Wearing a dress is a wise choice, as it gives you faster access to your nether region. Knock at her door, and when she opens it, thank her for meeting you and quickly punch her in the face. You will need to do this quickly and with enough force to knock her to the floor.

While she's stunned, leap onto her face, anus pointed appropriately toward her mouth, and unleash the captive wind God from your powerful rectum. Make sure to do this last step twice, to illustrate the point that this ability is under your control. Reaffirm this point by yelling at her that you can do this at any time, and that you'd hate to have to do it again, but her lack of respect leaves you with few options.

Stand up, brush yourself off, and smile at her. Thank her again for meeting with you, and let her know you'll be back in the evening to see her son.