Why not?

The standard that I hold myself to is the same: Better than everything I hear. I need to be better than everything that I hear. And I can hear it. They winning with that? Oh, I'm good. If you don't give people something incredible to listen to, they're going to listen to whatever. And I get that. I'm not mad at the fans for enjoying these songs, or the DJs for playing songs they play. I'm not mad at them or the artists that's winning even though they suck. I'm not mad at them.

Who are some of the new artists you like?

Kendrick is dope. J. Cole. Ya know, lyricists.

Do you put yourself in the “lyricists” category?

I don't put myself in any category. I can do it all. I was in elementary school winning contests with fucking Hallmark, where you had to write a poem for a card. I was winning shit like that. I've always been a poet.

How did your cameo at Kanye's Sunday Service come about?

He reached out.

What was your perception of the ceremony?

I wouldn't call it a church service. There's no word.

Yeah, it's like a concert.

Yeah. It's joyful, which God says to do. We about to make a joyful noise. I enjoyed it. It was moving. I didn't know what to expect, though. I didn't know what to expect.

How's your relationship with your mother currently?

I love my mama. I love my mama.

Is it true that she abused you growing up?

That doesn't mean I don't love her. That doesn't mean she's the same person. Children don't come with a fucking instruction manual. She was 20 when she had me. Four sisters; I'm the only boy. Maybe she didn't know what to do with me. I found out I just knew things that she didn't know when I was only six years old. I would get up at night sometimes to drink water because I was so hungry. And I saw something in her notebook that was open on the kitchen table. And it was wrong, so I erased it. I thought I was helping. I don't know what she thought I was doing, but… I don't know if she thought I was trying to sabotage her or whatever. I don't know what she thought. But she beat two teeth out of my fucking mouth with a broom. And I think about this today, I'm like, “Okay, you saw me erase something in your notebook. What did you think I was trying to do? What could you have possibly thought I was trying to do?”

It's awesome that you've been able to find peace and forgiveness for your mother despite things like that happening.

I think a lot of people struggle with forgiving their parents. In fact, I personally struggle with forgiving my parents. But until you learn how to forgive others, you can't forgive yourself. You can't forgive yourself if you don't know how to forgive.

Have you fully forgiven yourself for the mistakes you've made?

Yeah. Hell yeah.

Do you still like touring and performing?

Performing in front of people is beyond a high. It's beyond a high that any drug could duplicate. Just being onstage, period, and knowing that there's so much love out there. I pray before I go onstage with everyone in the room. And I end my show with a prayer onstage. And I'd say maybe 65 percent of the time that I get offstage, I'm so emotionally overwhelmed, I just break down. Sometimes it's leaving the stage, it's just like, “Get me to my dressing room. I don't want people to see me like this.” I just take a minute for myself and just, I thank Him, I praise Him. And I'm like, “Thank you, thank you.” I'm like, “Who am I to deserve this?” We all bleed the same blood.

Mark Anthony Green is GQ's special projects editor.

A version of this story originally appeared in the October 2019 issue with the title, "Dark Man X: The Resurrection".

Watch:

The Resurrection of DMX

PRODUCTION CREDITS:

Photographs by Awol Erizku

Styled by Mobolaji Dawodu

Hair by Wally Morales

Grooming by Barry White for barrywhitemensgrooming.com

Set design by Lauren Nikrooz at The Magnet Agency

Snake from All Creatures Great & Small