Black Friday shopping provides opportunity for mother-daughter bonding

It began innocently enough nine years ago. After working an early morning shift battling the Black Friday crowds, I arrived home to my curious 6 year-old daughter asking what's Black Friday?

As the retail reporter at Democrat and Chronicle, Black Fridays have been a constant in my life and Noelle's young life, even as her dad was deployed overseas on active military duty. Every Friday after Thanksgiving, I'd get up in the still darkness of early morning to talk to shoppers in line outside big box stores to record their family shopping tales. My daughter would still be asleep, not realizing that mom was at work.

But the year she entered second grade she took notice, perhaps because her classmates talked about it. I took her that afternoon to a packed Eastview Mall to fully experience Black Friday, with the hustle and bustle of the crowds.

In the years since that first foray into this uniquely American tradition to mark the beginning of the holiday shopping season, Noelle and I made it a mother-daughter tradition to shop Black Friday. My role at work changed the following year as I became a features writer and no longer had to cover Black Friday, but my then 7-year-old daughter set her alarm for 4 a.m. that morning and woke me up to drive her to the mall.

I'm not sure what was in her young mind when she decided to set a new family tradition. Perhaps it was to show her gritty determination that she can tackle a difficult task or, perhaps it's curiosity. But shopping in the early hours the day after Thanksgiving is now a definitive annual mother-daughter tradition.

Over the years, we've evolved just as Black Friday has evolved. No longer is the day marked by long lines of frenzied bargain hunters trying to snatch that door buster television. Since stores started opening on Thanksgiving Day and staggering the sales four years ago, Black Friday morning is now a peaceful way to shop and spend some time with my growing daughter.

Family Traditions

From toys and calendars in the early years, Noelle has grown to become quite a fashionista. We'd spend the early morning hours perusing the aisles at Aéropostale and JCPenney to find out what's trending, followed by brunch at 7 or 8 a.m. in a food court. We'd talk about our fabulous deals such as that $5 dress while digging into mac and cheese from Macarollin' or sipping fruit smoothies from Colie's Cafe.

We're not the only mom and daughter team shopping in the wee morning hours the day after Thanksgiving. All around the mall, groups of mothers with their daughters and sons of all ages could be found shopping and bonding.

Greece mom Tammy DiCecca has been shopping on Black Friday with her two daughters Juliana, 20, and Danielle, 21, for the past five years. They would arrive shortly after midnight to Eastview Mall and walk for hours in search of the perfect deals. It's a tradition as well as a time to gather together as a family.

Many families enjoy the joy of shopping together on Black Friday, from moms and sons and daughters to patient dads who are holding bags for members of the family while sipping Starbucks.

Some families have traditions such as making a favorite recipe or playing football on Thanksgiving. In our family, shopping is our tradition. Neither my daughter nor I are athletic, but we're competitive nonetheless. Black Friday is the ultimate game for competitive shoppers. Like any coach going into a big game, I'd strategize with my daughter the day before over turkey and newspaper circulars, teaching her how to budget and prioritize.

As we prepare for our annual outing this Black Friday as Noelle is about to turn 16, I'm reminded of the young girl determined to show her mom that she too can tackle this shopping task and how she's grown over the years. Year after year, her childhood is slipping away before my eyes as she transforms into an independent teen. Nowadays, it may not be cool to be seen with mom. Except on Black Friday, when we carry on our mother-daughter shopping tradition.

Mary Chao is the Marketplace reporter at Rochester Democrat and Chronicle who has not missed shopping on Black Friday in two decades. She lives in Brighton with her teen fashionista daughter Noelle and her Marine husband Matthew Nafus, who has no interest in the girls' passion for competitive shopping.