Arash Shirmohamadi has never held, never laid eyes on, his infant daughter.

And he fears he may never know her, and may be forced to choose between his child and ever being free.

Shirmohamadi, an Iranian refugee, is currently held on Australia’s offshore detention island of Nauru. His wife was brought from the island to Australia for health reasons when she was pregnant more than a year ago. His daughter was born in Sydney in March.

While the first of the refugees accepted for resettlement in the United States are preparing to leave Nauru within days, Shirmohamadi faces an indefinite future on the island. And, he says, an impossible choice.

Because he is currently separated from his wife and child, Shirmohamadi has been told by the Australian Border Force he can apply for US resettlement, but not with his family. He must relinquish all custody of his daughter, border force officials have said. They have sent him a “release of custody” form.

“The ABF said to me officially you have two options: bring your family to Nauru and you can go through the [US resettlement application] process as a family; or your wife and daughter can stay in Australia but you have to give custody of your child to your wife and you will be processed as a single man.

My innocent baby: there is no future for her in this hell Arash Shirmohamadi

“I have never held my daughter, never looked at her with my own eyes,” Shirmohamadi told the Guardian. “I was not allowed to be with my wife for our child’s birth, and now they are saying to me ‘you must abandon your family’. And they do it just to be cruel, just to cause pain to me and my family. To be heartless.”

Shirmohamadi says his wife cannot return to Nauru because of ongoing concerns over her physical and psychological health. And he says he would not contemplate bringing his daughter – who has never left Australia – to Nauru for a chance at a US resettlement offer that, for his family, might never eventuate.

“My wife cannot come back because of a lack of medical support. And my innocent baby: there is no future for her in this hell.”

One of the ramifications of Australia’s hardline asylum policies has been the deliberate separation of families, sometimes for years. Now, with the imminent closure of the Manus Island operation and confirmation that refugees will never be able to settle permanently in Nauru, there is the potential that families might be cleaved forever.

The Pacific island of Nauru where at least seven parents held in Australian-run detention are separated from their children between Nauru and Australia. Photograph: Remi Chauvin/The Guardian

The Guardian understands at least seven parents are separated from their children between Nauru and Australia, as family members are brought to Australia for medical treatment while spouses and parents are left behind.

Shirmohamadi arrived in Australia from Iran in 2013, fleeing religious persecution because of his Baha’i faith.

He was at sea when the then Rudd Labor government imposed the rule that no boat arrivals would ever settle in Australia.

I really don’t know what is my crime to take all this torture and punishment Arash Shirmohamadi

Shirmohamadi, a qualified computer network engineer, presented with demonstrable evidence of having been tortured in his home country, and was recognised as a refugee – that is he had a well-founded fear of persecution in his homeland and could not be returned there.

In March 2016, Shirmohamadi married a Somalian refugee in a modest ceremony at a friend’s house on Nauru.

The wedding on the island was attended by more than 50 people, officially recognised, and acknowledged by border force officials on Nauru. Shirmohamadi and Mariam (a pseudonym used in this piece to protect her identity) have a marriage certificate and lived as man and wife in their home.

Mariam soon fell pregnant with their first child.

But as Mariam’s pregnancy progressed, doctors identified significant health risks for mother and baby, far beyond the capabilities of Nauru’s lone, rudimentary hospital. In August 2016, Mariam was flown to Sydney, where she safely delivered their healthy daughter in March this year. Mariam and her daughter remain in the family compound of the Villawood detention centre, in what’s classified as community detention.

Shirmohamadi, despite repeated requests, has never been allowed to see his daughter.

“This is my first baby in all my life and I was waiting to see this special moment but the Australian government ruined it and they can’t return that moment,” he tells the Guardian from Nauru.

“I have been through a lot of torture by my government and after that Australian government give me more problems and pain. If we died in the ocean was better than be in this situation and they kill us every second mentally and physically. I really don’t know what is my crime to take all this torture and punishment.”

Shirmohamadi’s latest rejection came from the ABF in July: “As previously advised, transfers offshore are determined on a case-by-case basis and this includes accompanying family members. We again confirm that your request to join your family has not been approved.”

Shirmohamadi’s time on Australia’s offshore detention island has been, like the experience of many, turbulent. Currently, he has a job on the island, working for one of the settlement organisations, and his refugee status means it is illegal for either the Australian or Nauruan government to forcibly return him to Iran.

But he has been abused, beaten and robbed on Nauru (his complaint to the police did not result in any arrests) and his physical and mental health has suffered.

He has previously required psychiatric hospitalisation in Australia and reports from health provider IHMS state he has suffered severe depression and anxiety as a result of being separated from his family. He has attempted suicide on several occasions and has also suffered seizures and, at one stage, paralysis to one side of his body.

In returning Shirmohamadi to Nauru, the ABF acted against the express recommendation of a psychiatrist, who said it would harm him.

“It is my opinion that it would not be appropriate to return Shirmohamadi … to Nauru as there is a high likelihood his mental condition will further deteriorate,” the doctor’s report states. “I am particularly concerned about the intensity of his suicidal ideation and the possibility that he may act on this impulse.”

Shirmohamadi knows there is no future for him, or his family in Nauru, a sentiment confirmed by the Nauruan government.

The president of Nauru, Baron Waqa, told the Pacific Islands Forum this month that refugees could not stay permanently on the island.

“We would love to see them find a home, and they will, and they will. They can’t stay on Nauru forever, we’ve made that clear right from the start,” Waqa said.

The immediately apparent option for Shirmohamadi is to seek resettlement in the US, under the controversial people-swap arrangement agreed to between Malcolm Turnbull and then US president Barack Obama.

The first 54 refugees from Manus and Nauru were accepted for resettlement in the US this week. More resettlements are expected, but it is not known how many, or when they might move. More than 1,600 refugees across both islands have applied for US resettlement – an “upper limit” of 1,250 places was publicly stated by the US – but the final number may be significantly below that.

Shirmohamadi says he cannot contemplate applying to the US if it means abandoning his family. He says he wants only to meet his baby daughter, and for his family to be given the chance to live in freedom and in peace.

Family unity is a fundamental principle of international and Australian domestic law. Australia is a party to the convention on the rights of the child, which states that children have a right to know and be cared for by their parents, and should grow up in a family environment wherever possible. It is also a party to the international covenant on civil and political rights, which says the family “is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the state”.



In response to questions about family separation and Shirmohamadi’s specific circumstances, a spokeswoman for the Department of Immigration and Border Protection directed the Guardian to evidence given by department secretary Mike Pezzullo to Senate estimates this year.

Michael Pezzullo, the secretary of the Department of Immigration and Border Protection. Photograph: Mike Bowers/The Guardian

Under questioning about whether refugees brought to Australia for medical treatment would need to return to an offshore island in order to be considered for resettlement in the US, Pezzullo said, in general, they would.

“Persons who have been transferred back to Australia have been transferred for specific purposes – that is to say, medical treatment – once that … has been effected, the expectation … is that those persons will return to the regional processing location from whence they came.

“The point of your question, I think, is: if they are then considered eligible for the US program, why would they have to transit back through either Nauru or Manus? Generally speaking, people would be expected to do that, but each case is of course considered on its merits.

“While the general expectation is that they would return to their regional processing location, if there is a particular vulnerability, or for compassionate reasons, I can see there could be a circumstance where the minister or the minister’s delegate might allow them to come to a different view.”

Shirmohamadi says he faces an invidious choice, and the very real possibility he might never be allowed to see his child.

“I feel like I am being held hostage, and for no reason, this is all just a nonsense. I see my baby on my phone, and I miss her every day. I need to hold my baby, I need to hug her. They have kept us apart for no reason, only to be cruel.”