Back in the waning days of the Cold War, I made a cassette compilation of corporate, religious and political propaganda called The Happy Listener's Guide to Mind Control, and I offered it to donating listeners as a fundraising tchotchke for our 1991 fundraiser. Fifteen years, one new world order and countless layers of Orwellianism later, the MP3s for the Happy Listener's Guide found me, so I'm hypnotically compelled to offer the contents up once again, free of charge this time. Thanks to whoever took the time to rip them!

Forrest McCullough - Flight F-I-N-A-L excerpt 1

The culture of death, for the culture-of-life set. From the introduction to an LP-length allegory that's sure to terrify Christians under the age of eight. If you're reading this blog, you've already been bumped from this flight, so don't concern yourself. Download MP3.

Sri Darwin Gross - At The Grassroots

The faith of Eckankar, besides advocating low-cost travel through the time-space continuum, has a long history of charismatic (albeit tonedeaf) leaders. Here, the then-reigning Echmaster belts out a melody of his own, uh, devising. Download MP3.

Victor Lundberg - An Open Letter to my Teenage Son

The hit single from a collection of 1960's Libertarian recitations. A seminal release

in the field of hyperpatriotic white rap (see Byron Magregor, below). Download MP3.

Exxon Singers - America's Way

Pre-Reaganomic trickle-down theory, in song. The LP was titled "the Spirit of Achievement" and was distributed to Exxon employees at some point between the gas crisis of 1973 and the second one in 1979. Download MP3.

Jack Van Impe - The Coming War With Russia (excerpt)

The good Reverand broadcast his creative Bible interpretations out of Detroit, and was syndicated nationally throughout the Sixties and Seventies. Van Impe samples also abound on records from the same era. Download MP3.

L. Ron Hubbard - March of the Psychlo

What's a crazed ex-CIA officer / cult leader without a good hit single behind him? From the album of the book of the incredibly horrible John Travolta movie Battlefield Earth, Scientology's own version of Flight F.I.N.A.L. Download MP3.

Radio Moscow - Soviet Putsch

Vasily Strinikov, the Casey Kasem of Radio Moscow, discusses how he first learned of the August 1991 Soviet coup. Followed by Radio Moscow's first announcement of the takeover. Download MP3.

Lonesome Valley Singers - It's Got To Be Done

What real Americans were listening to during the Summer of Love. From the LP Country and Western War Songs, which was offered on late-night TV, from the looks of it. Download MP3.

Buddy Starcher - History Repeats Itself

The original conspiracy theory 45 rpm single, which reached number 39 on the pop charts in April of 1966. Buddy's basic format of patriotic background music with a self-righteous recitation laid the blueprint for dozens of white hyperpatriotic rappers for years to come. Download MP3.

Byron MacGregor - Americans

The work of a bored news anchorman from Windor, Ontario, just across the river from Detroit. The single reached number one in 1974, prompting an entire LP of such stuff and countless imitation records, but still no thanks or credit in sight for Victor Lundberg or Buddy Starcher. Download MP3.

Shelly Looney - Thank You Canada

1980's entry into the hyperpatriotic rap wars, released after Canada helped smuggle four US hostages out of Iran. Shelly turned the table on Canada in 1998, when she scored the winning goal for the US Olympic team in Nagano, Japan. Download MP3.

Chordbenders - I'm From New Jersey

The song that started it all - Bruce, The Pulaski Skyway, Sayreville - WFMU. The rest is history. Download MP3.

Jarrel McCracken - The Game of Life excerpt

Forces of Evil won the game by default after Average Christian tested positive for performance-enhancing substances in post-game screening. Download MP3.



Radio Charlie - I've Got a Pocketful of Dreams

Bonafide anti-semitic swing music under the directions of Joseph Goebbels, beamed from Nazi Germany to British, US and Canadian audiences via short and medium wave radio. More info and MP3 on Radio Charlie here. Download MP3.

Pastor John Rydgren - Radio Spot

Swingin' inspiration from WPLJ's own psychedelic preacher, circa 1966, when PLJ briefly sported a hip Christian format. Download MP3.

Forrest McCullough - Flight F-I-N-A-L excerpt 2

If only real airlines had in-flight entertainment as good as this. Download MP3.

Carson Robison - We're Gonna Have to Slap The Dirty Little Jap

World War Two-era Japan-bashing by the author of the hit song, Life Gits Teejus, Dont It? Download MP3.

US Government Tape - Our Job In Japan (excerpts)

Excerpts from the soundtrack of an Army training film shown to the US forces occupying post-World War II Japan. Winner of the anti-propaganda-as-propaganda award. Download MP3.

Forrest McCullough - Flight F-I-N-A-L (excerpt 3)

Featuring the actual, unaltered voice of The Almighty. Download MP3.

Robin and Crystal Bernard - The Monkey Song

Reverand Jerry Falwell introduces The Bernard Sisters. Grunting away in the background is "Little Sins," who snuck into the recording session during halftime of the Game of Life. Despite this recording, Crystal Bernard went on to a successful TV and recording career. Download MP3.

US Government Training Film - Duck and Cover

Soundtrack excerpts from more government "training films," this one aimed at the schoolchildren of a terrified Nation. Portions of this film were featured in the documentary film The Atomic Cafe. Download MP3.

Pastor John Rydgren - Radio Spot 2

"Trust Me, Man." That's good enough for me! Download MP3.

Eric Weber - How To Pick Up Girls at The Museum

From the LP of the book based on the movie based on the magazine ads "How To Pick Up Girls." Download MP3.

Exxon Singers - We Got 'Em!

If screwing the consumer is so wrong, how come it feels sooo right? Download MP3.

Hank Levine and George Atkins - The Trumpet

Sarcastic musical agit-prop from the satiric 1962 LP Sing Along With JFK, which dared to poke reverential fun at the country's charismatic young King. Download MP3.

Bill Anderson - Where Have All The Heroes Gone

In a recent People Magazine profile, Bill Anderson was only able to name two astronauts. Mr Anderson also recorded (under a pseudonym) a stirring tribute (realaudio) to

Lt. WIlliam Calley. Download MP3.

TV - Quincy Punk Rock Episode (Excerpt)

With Jack Webb dead and the new version of Dragnet not yet on the air, the task of demonizing punk rock fell to Jack Klugman. Network TV tackles west coast thrash circa 1981. Download MP3.

Radio Charlie - You've Started Something

More anti-Churchill swing music from Radio Charlie's nightly broadcasts. More MP3s from Radio Charlie here. Download MP3.

The Exxon Singers - Efficiency

What rhymes with "Keynsian?" Download MP3.

Studio LaRoux In House Announcer - The More You Sell

The highlight of this collection for me, an actual in-store motivational recording from a Manhattan boutique, circa the late Eighties. This was intended for the store's own staff to motivate them before the store opened. Unopened vials of Eau Du Success are now fetching thousands of dollars on eBay. Download MP3.

Forrest McCullough - Flight F-I-N-A-L (epilogue)

The visionary behind Flight F.I.N.A.L. reveals all. Download MP3.

Radio Moscow - Apology

After the putsch fails, Radio Moscow apologizes for their unprofessional journalistic activity of the previous three days. Not a word about the half-century before that, though. Download MP3.

If you enjoyed this page, you might really love the three hour "Oh By Jingoism" special I did for the Fourth of July, 2002. Here it here in streaming Realaudio, and see the playlist here. And dont forget the great Prelinger archives for more free propaganda of all stripes.