It’s that time of the year again folks! Time to talk about the players we here at floppy disc have our eyes, ears, and noses on. Before we get to the good stuff, you may notice that this list includes both genders. That’s because, for the first time in the history of forever and ever, Floppy Disc will be giving out one POTY award for all of Ultimate. That’s right ladies and gents. A Uni-POTY. The revolution is here.

Let’s get to it.

Catherine Zeta Jones – Oregon

Possibly the most athletic handler in the Men’s division, Ms. Zeta Jones can dip beneath the lasers and beat you with a high release backhand. She’s obviously the early season favorite, considering she’s the only one on this list who’s even close to the magical powers of “dribbling.”

Meathead Rob Lowe – UCF

Boy did this guy have an offseason. A whole summer of looking at pictures of himself and grunting while playing with Florida United has made him a force on the field. His athleticism is unmatched by even studs like Paranoid Rob Lowe and Far Less Attractive Rob Lowe. But who are we kidding. Even far less attractive Rob Lowe still makes Jimmy Mickle look Beavis from “Beavis and Butthead.”

Gandalf the White – Pittsburgh

You got it. Even this member of the “Istari” makes our list. It’s not so much how he left, but it’s how he came back. The “Maiar” chose to bring him back, until his task will be completed. The mighty Balrog of UNC-Wilmington seemingly ended this heros journey, but it has only just begun.

“A Marcus is never late, he arrives precisely when he means to.” – Gandalf The Grey

Hermione Granger in the Goblet of Fire – UNC

Every male between the ages of 18 and 22 remembers the first time he was sexually aroused. Exactly. It was when Hermione Granger walked down the stairs before the Champions ball in her puffy pink dress. That’s how we all feel when we watch this handler from UNC go to work. She’s nimble, quick, and knows how to pronounce all the spells. No doubt the new professor of the dark arts, Mike Denardis, will coach this one into a powerful muggle born.

Katniss Everdeen – UCSB

Readers and readettes, the “girl on fire” is now a burning skirt. “Katny E’s,” as she’s now affectionately referred, rise to fame was due mainly to her participation in the Hunger Games this past October in Frisco, TX. She can dominate the field with deadly accuracy, but where she’ll really win is the unreal amount of competitive energy. She’s got the throws, she’s got the bids, she’s got the looks. Just be sure not to kill her little black friend or you will surely be murdered. Ruthlessly murdered.

The Blue Monstar from Space Jam – UMASS

This guy is just huge. Here’s what probably happened. He found some sort of magical disc that Danny Devito gave him and threw with George Stubbs. He then grew to a massive 11 foot 9 and began to wreck everyone who has played any sport in the history of the world. The only way to beat this guy is to recruit a rag-tag bunch of fictional cartoon characters. Then, and only then, you might have a chance.

Bonus Floppy Tip: Don’t skip on Lola Bunny. She’s got skills.

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Honorable mention for COTY:

Mark Whalberg from “The Gambler”- Florida

This man really knows the game. You got to play to win, and he’s been playing for a while. To be fair, I didn’t see his latest theatric performance, but if it’s anything like his on-field prowess, then watch out. No, but actually watch out. Go check out some RSD stuff and you’ll believe me.

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So there’s our list. Feel free to post your nominations in the comments below. However, we’re going to try and be an actual award and not just take a YouTube video as substitute for talent. But still, we like hearing from you.

Love always,

FD