It’s been a month since mom’s last deposit cleared into your brand new Bank of America bank account and you are on the bones of your now slightly rounder backside (thanks to 2 for 1 alcohol specials and McDonald’s that is probably cheaper than a sandwich).

The 15 dollars an hour for your last 3 days of daywork, before joining your very first permanent boat, are a distant memory. Having gone directly from your sweaty, dirt or silver polish stained hands to the well-manicured fingertips of whichever crew house manager was lucky enough to rip you off this time.

The anticipation is killing you, you know that first paycheck is on its way. You have vowed to take your cousin’s, boyfriend’s, best friend who is a yachtie’s advice and save your first paycheck. Only keeping enough to pay your share in the next crew dinner, you’re new and need to show face after all. But that’s it, the rest is going straight into your, as yet non-existent, savings account. Well maybe after one or two little treats for yourself, you’ve worked for it after all.

Hello first of the month, payday is finally upon you, coincidentally it is also the first day of the week. Yes folks, young money Monday is about to rear its ugly dollar depleting head.

MONDAY

The excitement is overwhelming as you look at the fresh funds in your account; you blink and see dollar signs. You start justifying your first spend before your feet hit the dock. It’s a new week, why not kick it off with a healthy start and pick up that new Garmin/Fitbit/Apple watch you’ve had your heart set on. No better way to get motivated to get back in shape and ready for charter season. Plus, it’s not even that expensive and you did promise yourself one special reward to celebrate your new job. No more splitting $5 burgers at Tap 42 on a Monday night for this athlete.

TUESDAY

Before you know it, it’s time for a change Tuesday. You’re a bona fide yachtie now, you’d better look the part, got to get that hair cut and coloured. Not to mention those toe and fingernails, heaven forbid a charter guest catches a glimpse of your natural toenails at a beach setup. Last treat, you promise as your perfectly tinted lashes flutter closed beneath your freshly waxed brows, bringing your second night of having money to a beautifully made over close.

WEDNESDAY

You’re not wild about Wednesdays and those midweek blues are really sinking in. As your day crawls to an end you’re aching for some fun. What’s that, the boys are going surfing, after swinging by the surf shop to pick up some wax. You love surfing and can’t wait to hit the waves, well you like the idea anyway, you’ve never actually touched a board before. There’s a first time for everything you think, as you set out to buy your first board and of course a matching rashie, or three (can’t be repeating outfits), besides, chafe isn’t a good look for anyone.

THURSDAY

Ok, maybe surfing isn’t your thing, but you won’t be discouraged, maybe after a drink with the guys you’ll feel a bit better about your paddling style and non-existent pop-up. It is thirsty Thursday after all. After a couple of rounds and some wings at Duffy’s you’re keen for a quick stop at your old stomping ground, ladies night at Tap, always a good time. Shame you think, seeing that guy Mike, still looking for a job, best get him a tequila and tell him to keep up the search “it’s only a matter of time, take it from me”. Then a round for your crew, not the free drinks though, something a little classier. Money and drinks are flowing, before you know it, it’s 3am and you’d better rush home before you end up back on the job hunt.

FRIDAY

Friday, the hangover at work is real, Struggle Street is fully occupied and you’re ready for bed. Maybe you’ll quickly sort out some admin on your computer; man that thing is a dinosaur. Wait, didn’t the engineer mention he’d got a sweet deal on a laptop on Amazon? You’re heading to the Bahamas soon, not much opportunity to get one there, and deals like this don’t come along every day. Better set up your Prime account while you’re at it. Maybe you should get a drone too while you’re there, would be great to get some aerial photos of your travels…

SATURDAY

Satur-yay is finally here, time to get out of Laudie for the weekend. Orlando here you come, fast passes for all the theme parks and a night at the Hard Rock, could things get any better?

SUNDAY

No, unfortunately, they couldn’t, you shuffle your feet awkwardly as you ask the bosun to spot you a 20 for lunch on the trip back to the boat (and reality) on Sunday.