OPINION

TO THE mum who chose to pull her children out of Frankston High School purely because they support transgender kids,

Let’s have a chat. Mother to mother.

What is it you want most in the world for your four children?

When I look into my own daughters’ faces, I hope with all my might that they are happy and safe. Not all children are safe. Every parent knows and fears this.

Like you, I hope my children have the strength to be who they are and to reach for opportunities. I hope they get a good education. And perhaps most of all, I hope they can move through the world with courage and compassion for others.

“Be kind,” my husband and I tell our girls over and over like a chant.

Do you teach your children kindness, too?

By withdrawing your own children from a school that supports children who are different, what are you are teaching them? Are you teaching your children to be kind? Or are you, in fact, teaching your children, that it’s not OK to be different?

I’ll be honest, I’m really struggling here. You have publicly declared you have a child with a learning disability. Is it possible then, that you or your son might be able to imagine what’s it’s like to have different needs? Perhaps you recognise a mother’s hope that her child won’t be marginalised. Alone. Different.

I’m a not a member of the LGBTI community and I do not pretend to speak for them. However, I have spent the past year reporting on the experiences of transgender kids in our schools.

Let me tell you about the mums of transgender kids I’ve recently met. I think you’d like them. They have blown me with away with their courage. They are fighting like lionesses to keep their children safe.

The word “safe” is important here.

As Dr Michelle Telfer, one of Australia’s leading paediatricians in the field of gender dysphoria, told me: “Young people who are transgender feel an urgent need to be themselves. If they can’t be, they are at great risk of suicide and self-harm.”

This comment is borne out by a 2014 study from La Trobe University and the University of New England that found of the 128 gender diverse young people in their research group who were harassed, abused or discriminated against, 37 per cent had attempted suicide and 70 per cent had self-harmed.

Hearing the stories of the way transgender kids are treated in some of our schools shocked me to the core. So far, I have interviewed six transgender children and their parents. I cried in every interview.

I was told about transgender children in Australian schools who were physically assaulted and verbally abused by teachers. One little girl was reportedly sent to what appeared to be “conversion therapy” without the parents’ knowledge.

Other children were denied permission to use the toilets of their preferred gender or refused permission to compete in sporting events with their preferred gender.

Kids were shunned and ignored in various ways by school staff and in some cases, teachers refused to address transgender children by their preferred pronoun.

That’s just the start of it. There were many other forms of overt and more subtle discrimination too.

Currently, many transgender children are not safe in our schools. This is what I have learned. I’m sure you’ll agree that children should be safe at school. This is why Safe Schools Coalition Australia (SSCA) exists.

Now. Just please try to imagine that any one of these things I’ve mentioned above was happening to your child because they were different. How would you feel then?

This is why the principal of Frankston High, John Albiston, deserves applause. He understands his school is for all children.

“What we do at Frankston is accept all students and people, regardless of cultural origin, disabilities and gender,” Mr Albiston said in response to your decision.

Thanks John. We need more educators like you on deck.

I get it. You hold the view that people are “are either born a boy or girl.” You think transgender kids are anomalies.

They aren’t. This isn’t just a few transgender kids.

As I’ve previously reported, based on a New Zealand study of secondary students, 1.2 per cent of the population identifies as transgender. Extrapolating from this finding, it’s likely that more than 44,000 Australian school-age children are transgender. Taking into account the variation in school sizes, that’s an average of almost five kids in every typical school.

I’m not sure where you are now planning to send your children to school. But you should know, whichever school you choose there will be most certainly be transgender children there too.

Rather than being afraid of those that are different, wouldn’t you rather use this as a learning opportunity and teach your kids that some people aren’t like them?

And hey, listen up kids. That’s perfectly OK.

Ginger Gorman is an award winning print and radio journalist, and a 2006 World Press Institute Fellow. Follow her on twitter: @GingerGorman