More than twelve thousand kilometres separate Buenos Aires from Banská Bystrica. So far, yet so close. The former calls Diego his son. The latter does the same with Marek. And between them–although fairly closer to the Slovakian town than the South American one–, the less-than-a-million habitant city of Naples holds its ground in Italian soil. San Paolo–the stadium, not the apostle–was lucky enough to enjoy both Maradona and now Hamsik at their peaks. No one would have called it, but the storylines of both men have interlined so well that it is hard to believe. Not that Marek has reached the heights Maradona touched, for sure, yet they both became staples of Naples and after surpassing him as the club’s history top-goalscorer, Hamsik will forever be an SSC Napoli legend, holding the same or more pedigree than Diego ever did.

Illustration by Antonio Losada (@chapulana)

What follows is an adaptation of Diego Maradona’s Wikipedia entry, only changing some parts of it–which are highlighted–to reflect the career of Marek Hamsik at SSC Napoli and how his and Diego’s Italian tenures relate. There are fictional parts to it. Bear with us. Enjoy the text. Have fun with this word-bending exercise.

[Hamsik] arrived in Naples and was presented to the world media as a Napoli player on [28 June 2007], where he was welcomed by 75,000 fans at his presentation at the Stadio San Paolo. Sports writer David Goldblatt commented, “They [the fans] were convinced that the saviour had arrived.” A local newspaper stated that despite the lack of a “mayor, houses, schools, buses, employment and sanitation, none of this matters because we have [Marek]”. Prior to [Hamsik’s] arrival, Italian football was dominated by teams from the north and centre of the country, such as A.C. Milan, Juventus, Inter Milan and Roma.

At Napoli, [Hamsik] reached the peak of his professional career: [in 2014] he inherited the captain’s armband from Napoli veteran defender [Paolo Cannavaro] and quickly became an adored star among the club’s fans; in his time there he elevated the team to the [second-]most successful era in its history. Led by [Hamsik], Napoli won their [fourth Coppa Italia in 2012]. Goldblatt wrote, “The celebrations were tumultuous. A rolling series of impromptu street parties and festivities broke out contagiously across the city in a round-the-clock carnival which ran for over a week. The world was turned upside down. The Neapolitans held mock funerals for Juventus, burning their coffins, their death notices announcing ‘May 2012, the other Italy has been defeated. A new empire is born.’” Murals of [Marek] were painted on the city’s ancient buildings, and newborn children were named in his honor. The following season, the team’s prolific attacking trio, formed by [Hamsik, Lavezzi and Cavani, was later dubbed the “Ha-La-Ka” (‘perish’ in Hausa; a clear forecast of both South American forwards’ departures in 2012 and 2013 summers) front-line.

Napoli would win their [fifth cup] title in [2013–14], and finish runners up in the league [once, in 2017–18, while winning the Supercoppa Italiana in 2014]. Despite primarily playing in a midfielder role [with attacking duties], Hamsik [became] the all-time leading goalscorer for Napoli in 2017 with [116] goals (now 118), [surpassing Maradona’s record of 115]. When asked who was the toughest player he ever faced, A.C. Milan central defender [Cristian Zapata] stated, “Marek Hamsik; when he was on form, there was almost no way of stopping him,” a view shared by his Milan teammate [Daniele Bonera], who stated, “The best ever I played against was [Hamsik].”

While Marek Hamsik was successful on the field during his time in Italy, [he remained completely out of personal problems]. His [drug-free record] continued, and he [never] received fines from his club for missing games [or] practices, [keeping] “stress” [at bay]. He [never] faced scandals there regarding [family issues], and he was [never] the object of some suspicion over an alleged friendship with the Camorra.

In honour of Hamsik and his achievements during his career at Napoli, [fans expect] the number [17] jersey of Napoli [to be] officially retired.