In her memoir, Becoming, Michelle Obama:

Recalls falling in love with Barack Obama. At first she was sceptical of the local hype around him. “In my experience, you put a suit on any half-intelligent black man and white people tended to go bonkers.” His photo had a “whiff of geekiness”, she noted, but once she got to know him, she was attracted to “this strange mix-of-everything man” and felt “a toppling blast of lust, gratitude, fulfillment, wonder”. They courted and fell in love. Finally, over dinner, he baited her with arguments against marriage before giving a dark velvet box which, instead of chocolate cake, contained a diamond engagement ring. “It took me a second to dismantle my anger and slide into joyful shock.” The marriage has survived extraordinary work pressures. At one stage they sought marriage counselling and, after a miscarriage, underwent in vitro fertilisation (IVF) treatments to conceive their two daughters.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Barack and Michelle Obama the Obama Foundation Summit in Chicago in 2017. Photograph: Jim Young/AFP/Getty Images

Admits doubts over agreeing to her husband running for president in 2008, aware of the stress it would place on family life. “In the end, it boiled down to this: I said yes because I believed that Barack could be a great president … I said yes because I loved him and had faith in what he could do.” She hit the campaign trail and was criticised for remarks saying: “For the first time in my adult lifetime, I’m really proud of my country.” She faced media headlines such as: “Her Looks: Regal or Intimidating?” Obama writes: “I am telling you, this stuff hurt. I sometimes blamed Barack’s campaign for the position I was in.”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest The Obama family celebrate election victory in 2008. Photograph: Shawn Thew/EPA

Reflects on being the first African American first lady. “I was ‘other’ almost by default. If there was a presumed grace assigned to my white predecessors, I knew it wasn’t likely to be the same for me.” But Laura Bush was compassionate and gave her a welcome tour of the White House, while other former first ladies also offered support. “This was all heartening. I already looked forward to the day I could pass whatever wisdom I picked up to the next First Lady in line.” But asked in a TV interview whether Melania Trump has asked for help, Obama replied: “No, she hasn’t.” Stephanie Grisham, Melania Trump’s spokesperson, told CNN: “Mrs Trump is a strong and independent woman who has been navigating her role as First Lady in her own way. When she needs advice on any issue, she seeks it from her professional team within the White House.”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Laura Bush takes Michelle Obama for a private tour of the White House. Photograph: Charles Ommanney/Getty Images

Writes about two meetings with the British Queen, who remarked, “You’re so tall,” and looked at her Jimmy Choo shoes, asking: “These shoes are unpleasant, are they not?” The Queen gestured with some frustration at her own black pumps. Both women confessed that their feet hurt. The Queen “busted out with a fully charming laugh”. Obama writes: “I laid a hand affectionately across her shoulder. I couldn’t have known it in the moment, but I was committing what would be deemed an epic faux pas.” At the second meeting, the Queen gestured for her to join her in the backseat of a Range Rover, saying: “Did they give you some rules about this? That’s rubbish. Sit wherever you want.”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Barack Obama and Michelle Obama greet Queen Elizabeth ll in London in 2011. Photograph: Anwar Hussein/Getty Images

Describes her husband’s darkest hour as president, when a gunman killed 20 students and six teachers at Sandy Hook elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut, in 2012. “My husband needed me. This would be the only time in eight years that he’d request my presence in the middle of a workday, the two of us rearranging our schedules to be alone together for a moment of dim comfort.” The president was briefed in detail on pools of blood on classroom floors and bodies torn apart by gunfire. “Those images were seared permanently into his psyche,” Obama writes. “I could see in his eyes how broken they’d left him, what this had done already to his faith.”