An overwhelming proportion of scientists now accept that Liberal MP Craig Kelly is a fucking idiot, new analysis shows.

Experts have suspected the link for years, but say recent evens have put the association beyond doubt. “People in Australia have known this for years. If you look at the evidence, if you look at the signs, it’s undeniable, and it’s getting worse over time,” one researcher said.

Kelly has denied the link, saying the way he acts today is exactly the same way he has acted for decades. “This is simply the natural way of things, this is nothing new”.

Scientists have called on Kelly to stop providing new evidence, saying they have everything they need and are becoming overwhelmed with new data. “We’ve settled this now. It’s been tested, it’s been peer-reviewed, so we don’t need any further samples”.

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