I’m an upper-middle class white girl. I’m in a sorority. I carry Starbucks in one manicured hand and a designer bag in the other. I have a great job, great friends, and I love my life. Out of all the things I am, the one thing I am not is entitled.

I see the way you look at me. You don’t try to hide the judgment on your face as you walk past me laughing with my friends. Our hair is teased and we’re probably wearing pink. Does that make us any less intelligent than you? Did you know we also make good grades in our classes? With all the jokes about “Daddy’s credit card,” you should know that some things actually can’t be bought, such as As on finals or cords at graduation. We recognize that, and we worked our asses off to achieve those accomplishments.

Speaking of Daddy’s credit card, we should probably address that it doesn’t exist. It does for some girls, and some have one “in case of emergencies,” but most of us pay for our Starbucks and manicures and fro-yo with money we make from working. I’ve had a job since I was 16, and I know that’s not changing now. So before you judge the label on my bag, know that I purchased it myself. Even though I have bows in my hair, I still manage to juggle my social life, work, an unpaid internship, and my coursework.

I spend time getting ready in the morning because I know appearances matter. It’s sad that this is how the world works, but it’s true. Peers, professors, and potential employers all notice whether or not you respect yourself enough to take care of yourself. Getting ready shows that you take yourself seriously, and I don’t want there to be any doubt about whether or not I believe I can succeed.

I know there are plenty of people who were born into less fortunate circumstances than I was. That’s actually a big reason I joined a sorority. On top of my individual volunteer work, I love the focus we have on philanthropy. Working together as a team to raise tens of thousands of dollars for charity is truly a feeling like none other. We can accomplish so much more together than we can separately, and we want to do everything we can to make our community a better place. Before you jump to conclusions about why I joined a sorority, make sure you take a second to consider all of the ways society has benefitted from our work.

You know what they say about assuming, but you should know that it only makes an ass out of you, not me. I haven’t judged you for your choices, so please don’t judge me for mine. I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but we could change that if you erased your preconceived notions about sorority girls long enough to say hi. I’m a good friend, a good person, and a good personal stylist. Most of all, please know that everything I am, I decided for myself. I earned what I have and I’ve worked for all of my accomplishments, just while wearing more pink than you. So, again, before you assume anything about me, take a moment to consider that I’m just like you–only in a hair bow.