A reader on fMh’s Facebook group alerted us on Wednesday to a situation in Ogden, Utah, in which a family of 4 with two daughters (a two-month-old infant and a 3-year-old) suffered a fire in their house that destroyed everything. Luckily, they were not in the house at the time, but they were left with just the clothes on their backs. The reader reported that The Red Cross quickly delivered a $400 check, and the bishop of the ward the house was in came to assess the damage and promised to return with some assistance. He returned with vouchers to Deseret Industries and the Bishop’s Storehouse, but after realizing that this family was headed by lesbian parents, told his companion, “This is not for us,” and left the scene without giving the promised help to the family.[this is incorrect- please read the update at the end]

We don’t know what this bishop’s motives were for leaving without helping the family, but we can’t help but feel compelled to take up the relief effort where it was dropped, and to own the charge to “ be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you; succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” (D & C 81:5). Even if the church hadn’t just launched a brand-new website urging us to treat our LGBTQ brothers and sisters with Christlike kindness (www.mormonsandgays.org), turning away from a traumatized family with an infant and toddler cannot be our response, nor will it be. The church is all of us, and we will respond. It is our hope that this outreach will be healing for all of us: the family, those of us whose hearts this situation breaks, and even for those who turned away. It reminds me of a quote one of my bishops had in his office: “Love Is The Answer. Now What Was The Question?”

A facebook event page (UPDATE: link is working now!) has already been formed with more information, updates, and organizing to pick up donations from outlying areas; you are welcome to join there. For those without a facebook account, I will post the addresses where items may be dropped off or gift cards sent. The family does have some temporary housing and will file a claim on some renters insurance that will eventually help with some of their losses, but they do have immediate needs that we can help with.

UPDATE: I spoke with one of the parents, and she gave me the address for their PayPal account: bobbiemathews@msn.com, in case anyone wants to help with cash donations for upcoming rental needs. I also asked her, as one of the commenters suggested, to create a public Amazon Wish List, which she and her partner will open as soon as possible. UPDATE: The wishlist is available HERE.

Donations can be brought or sent to:

Clark residence

676 W. 2400 N.

Layton, UT 84041

or to:

Opportunity Enterprises

360 S Fort Lane # 3A

Layton, UT 84041

(This office will be open Thursday 12/13 10-2 and 4:30 to 7. Friday 1-7, and then next week 10-2 & 4:30-7 M, T,Th, and all day 10-7 on W, F).

I will close with thanks to you for reaching out and showing love to this family, even if it is just a card or a kind word.

UPDATE: I’ve changed the list of donation suggestions to reflect that they have received some items. I got this from their friend this morning:

They say they are good with clothes for both the babies and themselves. They have bedding, sheets, blankets, towels. What the need is kitchen items. We got them a coffee maker and microwave . They have a set of silverware, but no other utensils. So the list might be:

Rice cooker

waffle iron

a set of pots and pans

toaster

hand/stand mixer

cookie sheets

Mixing bowels

Plastic storage bowels

spatulas

whisks

measuring cups and spoons

cutting boards

Glasses

Food processor

Bread maker

Sewing and Craft items: (Mom made things to sell on sewing machine and silhouette machine. She canceled a large order for birthday invitation because her equipment burned in the fire.

Sewing machine and notions)

scissors

pins

craft supplies – paper, glues, etc.

silhouette machine and supplies

Food items

A final word: our community started out as far flung women and men reaching out tentatively, reading Lisa’s first posts about Veggie Tales and gender roles. We didn’t know how to help ourselves, much less others. Today Mormon feminists are spearheading social action (Wear Pants to Church Day), writing books (The Book of Mormon Girl, Flunking Sainthood and Chaste) and informing the Brits about our awesomeness. We do all of that because you do all of that. You read, you write, you share, you make all of this happen and all of us here at fMh are profoundly proud to know you and to get to be a part of your lives.

*update- we got some of the facts wrong and want to apologize for speaking hastily and set the record straight. Bobbie Mathews has kindly given us permission to print her letter to us:

Hi Nikki,

Thank you so much for passing along our story. There are a couple of things that I feel need to be corrected though. First, we have a 3 year old daughter and our 9 week old is a handsome little boy. Second, the Bishop didn’t offer anything from the store house or vouchers but did bring to my parents home a small box of items (bag of diapers, can of formula and a few items of clothing) he was very kind as he knows my parents and lives right around the corner from them. It was later that night or the next day when he posted on his Facebook page that we were no longer in need of donations. I would have never known but another angel (such as yourself and the amazing readers of your blog) was appalled at his actions. I grew up in the church so I just let it go as my lifestyle goes against the doctrine of the church. He has his beliefs and I have to respect that. He did what he thought was right for him. We are grateful for the items he did bring and thankful for his service. I can’t expect him to understand our family, I just wish he would have seen that we are no different than any other family in the neighborhood. We love, we laugh, we cry, we raise our children to be kind and give to others, we will teach them to have high moral standards and instill in them a love of service to others.

Ash and I will be home tomorrow evening and are open to meeting R. and her children. I think it’s important for them to see first and foremost that we are just a normal family who just happens to have two moms. Families come in all sizes and types and all should be celebrated.

Thanks for everything, you are truly an angel!

Bobbie