Earlier today, President Donald Trump held a press conference at the White House to announce he was considering switching the nation to the metric system. The President, whom prior was against the switch from the nation’s current imperial system, stated that he had the realization that his penis sounds much larger when stated in centimeters than in inches.



“I’m very good with numbers. VERY good with numbers,” The President explained. “So, I know that thirteen is a much greater number than five. It’s exactly eight numbers higher than five. Again, I am very good with numbers.”

“So I think its safe to say that everyone will agree that my penis sounds larger when I say its 13 cm rather than 5 inches.” The presidents claims were met with applause from the press and White House staff, alike. “And, before the Democrats try to say these numbers are inaccurate, I tested this, myself, with a ruler just moments before I called this conference. Again, VERY good with numbers.”