Brittney Campagnolo wrote a poem about her experiences of the past few weeks. And it might make you cry.

Guelph resident Brittney Campagnolo is a nurse at Cambridge Memorial Hospital and Sick Kids in Toronto. She has shared her thoughts and experiences of the past few weeks in a heartfelt, raw and honest poem. With her permission, her mother Janice Champion shared the poem with GuelphToday.

It’s 3am

Why am I awake?

Need to turn off my mind

But this dread I just can’t shake

I have an ICU shift today

How will it be?

Will there be enough masks?

I guess we shall see

I’ve been wearing the same mask

Now for 12 hours

They say I’m a super hero

But where are my powers?

I feel drained, raw and scared

A parent said my eyes were tired

Do I pick my health or my patients?

If I pick mine will I be fired?

I have a family at home

What about them?

Will I get them sick?

It's not an if but a when

Did I sanitize everything after my shift?

What if I missed a germ

Now it’s in my house

That’s my biggest concern

I would never forgive myself

If I brought home this bug

Maybe I should live somewhere else

All alone with nobody to hug

Should I quarantine myself

And not see my kids for a long time?

Make the questions stop

I need a glass of wine

People are dying alone

With nobody to hold their hand

Can you imagine that being your family member?

This is serious, I need you to understand

You need an N95

No surgical masks will be just fine

Actually a bandana will do

Please make up your mind

I’m usually the one

That is relaxed, cool and calm

But sometimes as a bedside nurse

There’s nobody to tell what’s going wrong

When you have nobody to vent to

Your feelings get confused and lost,

Talk it out and let it free or

You’ll end up paying a big big cost

My mental health is cracking

No it’s permanently broken

I don’t even know this reflection

Of that person who has just spoken

Give your frontline workers

A virtual kiss and hug

We are so so stressed

About catching this damn bug

Don’t judge us if we are grumpy

We’ve got a lot on our plate

We may not don our usual smiles

It’ll come back, just wait

The numbers keep climbing

My worry along with it

Why do I not feel like eating?

Because my stomach is replaced with a pit

We are waiting, waiting, waiting,

For the peak to hit

The ventilators are being used up

Bit by bit

There are not enough tests

Only the really sick get a swab

I feel gutted for those affected

A silent tear turns into a full blown sob

Devastation in the hot spots

Like the US, Italy, and Spain

I just can’t fathom

The immense amount of pain

Please please don’t let us be next

For our lives we must fight

We must stay strong and knit together

Tighter, tighter, tight

I don’t want to be involved

In the decision of who lives or dies

Please don’t make us make the choice

Of who will lose their life

Some vent on social media

Some of us write poems

Some use humor to deflect

Whatever you do, just stay home!

I can’t imagine the stress

Of losing my only income

I consider my myself fortunate to work

Which is unfortunately more than some

Communities have banded together

It’s so nice to see

Sewing, donations, and socially distant activities

Let’s see more of that please!

I desperately miss the new friends I was making

In the amazing world of axes

I can’t say enough beautiful things about them

In my life they have made an amazing impact

A BIG shoutout to my husband

Who has been holding down the fort

Chef, child minder and teacher

With all this going on his temper is never short

My sister is a welcome presence

Gives us a much needed break

She’s awesome with the kids

Favorite activity has been the cupcakes they baked

I can’t wait to see my family and friends

What will we do when this is all done?

I will never take anything for granted again

I can’t wait to smile, starring at the summer sun

They ask me what my skill set is

Will I have to float to a different floor?

Oh my gosh my poor ears

They are just so damned sore

Did I mention I’m exhausted?

Even my bones are tired

Never did I imagine all this

When I was a baby nurse newly hired

I’m in an immense amount of pain

With nobody to help me

Physio and RMTs are Nonessential

How can that be?

Bathing in Icy Hot

Turning to pain pills

I won’t be able to work soon

And neither will my valuable skills

Sometimes I wake up

And feel like I can conquer the day

Sometimes everything feels hopeless

And just want it to all go away

I really need a break

But many people need me

My patients, my kids, my family

I sometimes wish I had less responsibility

I haven’t drank, I have peed

For I have a mask stuck to my face

When I take it off for my break

I’m supposed to put it in this little paper case

My mind says let’s get in shape

It’s the perfect time lets go!

My poor broken body says

Are you kidding, I don’t fucking think so

Feels like I’m half-assing this mom thing

Homeschooling, what’s that?

The kids are having another meltdown

Now they’re in timeout, come we need to chat

I should discuss end of life wishes

But then that would make it all too real

Angry, sad, frustrated, scared

I don’t know what to feel

Nobody can fight this alone

We must all band together as one

Keep the course, trust each other

And this will all soon be done

Each time I wake up

It’s takes a bit for reality to sink in

Those moments are peaceful and kind

And then it all comes crashing like a punch on the chin

I don’t want to live in this kind of world

I didn’t sign up for this

I don’t want this for my kids

Yeah, yeah you the gist

I also flip

Into appreciation mode

Thankful it’s not the dead of winter

And freezing cold

Dearest Canadians

And fellow world humans,

Everyone is stressed and the unknown is scary

For we don’t know what is looming

Hold each other’s virtual hand

Hold it strong and tight

We need each other more than ever

To win this horrible fucking fight

️BRIT