Brenda Yurkoski

A semiretired caregiver who grew up in Ohio.

I’ve always known the family story, my entire life. I don’t want to misquote my father, but he said something like, “This is something we know, but people will never believe you.” In history class, we were talking about Thomas Jefferson, and I said, “I’m related to him.” The reaction was laughter, and therefore embarrassment.

The first time I visited Monticello, I had this sense of excitement. There were these high ceilings, all the treasures he had displayed. Then someone asked, “Didn’t Thomas Jefferson have some children with slaves?” The guide said, “Absolutely not. It’s just rumor.” I thought, “Shame on you.” I wanted to turn around and leave.

Over the years, I did return. I went for the sleepover in the slave cabins. Anyone who participates in something like that wants this “out of the world” experience, like your ancestors might whisper something to you. I wanted that, so badly. Maybe too much. I didn’t feel this great connection to my ancestors that I wanted to feel.

But then I got to participate in an archaeological dig at Monticello. We were trekking through the woods in an area that is off limits to visitors. One of the archaeologists pointed up the hill to an area where Elizabeth Hemings’s house was. Standing there in the woods with two of my distant cousins who also descended from Elizabeth Hemings, to me, was an experience. We all looked at each other and thought, “If she could see us here today.”

For the descendant community, it gets a little old: “Sally Hemings. Sally Hemings.” Other slave descendants have richer stories. But she is the biggest draw because she is synonymous with Thomas Jefferson, almost. She was part of this family that had its own story of privilege. They were still slaves, but they were treated differently than other slaves.

If I could ask Thomas Jefferson anything, I’d ask, “Did you have feelings for Sally?” Because he left nothing behind. This man wrote everything down. Everything. He knew that people would be looking back at him. He wanted that. But there was nothing about her. It hurts. As descendants, and because of his character, we want to believe that it wasn’t just a slave-master rape situation. I don’t know why we want to believe that. But we do. We just do.