In December of 2018, The HuffPost published a guest article that was centered around the sexual assault of a man. Comic book creator Tres Dean is both author and victim in question.

Dean detailed a night at an event held within the comics community in which he was accosted, verbally and physically, several times by an older woman who had stock in the industry already. Dean notes she was clearly drunk and that her unwanted and rebuked advances continued throughout the night, after he had already removed himself from her kisses.

In the article, Dean talks about his discomfort after that night and how he used humor and false bravado to cover up his emotions over the incident. It wasn’t until years later, he said, and with the help of therapy that he was able to admit what is hard for many men to admit: he’d been sexually assaulted.

Sexual assault in men is common, and college students like Dean was are 5x more likely to be assaulted. As a society, we are not as readily conditioned to think of men as victims or women as abusers.

You’ll note that in this article, I have not named his abuser. In his article at the HuffPost, Dean did not name his abuser. In fact, he said recently on Twitter that he purposefully omitted her name, not out of a desire to protect her but to protect himself and the career he’s been building for several years.

However, on November 19th, Men’s Day 2019, Dean discovered that his abuser had taken that choice away from him as well. Hope Nicholson, of Bedside Press, took his discreet article and tweeted it out to her 8k+ followers under a locked account naming herself as the assaulter.

In her tweets, shown above, Nicholson uses language that dismisses Dean’s account of his experience and twists the words to imply that she did no wrong. She opens her “confession” with a line about how hard it’s been on her depression to have Dean “name her”. We’ll ignore the fact that she named herself.

While she later attempts to amends that, in her eyes, her language remains gaslighting and manipulative. Nicholson does not take true responsibility for her actions, instead bringing up the fact that she was drunk and that she felt kindness towards her should be repaid by her sexual attention. Apparently, that attention needn’t be returned for her to bestow it upon you.

There is a clear power imbalance in this situation: a college student just starting out being violated by an older, established person of their desired industry. It is an imbalance that, if roles were reversed, would have people howling for blood, and rightfully so.

And while the support for Dean has been overwhelming and loud, the comforting for Nicholson remains consistent. She’s been lauded for her bravery and strength of character in coming forward, despite it not being her story to tell, as she notes in her initial tweet, right as she also says it’s “mostly accurate.” She would later recant that in an interview with ComicsBeat and claim the kissing was consensual, painting Dean a liar.

In lieu of a genuine apology. Nicholson has been vague and self-centered in her response to… herself? She has undermined Dean’s story, has blamed everything but herself, has deleted tweets and accounts. Her faux-pologies have focused on her and how her actions have impacted her. There has been little remorse shown for Dean or the struggle he went through to first deny and then to accept his experience.

Tonight she posted this under the Bedside Press Twitter account.

More of the same misleading language that places the blame everywhere but where it belongs: on her. It has garnered her sympathy and support that is, quite frankly, undeserved. Nicholson recently closed a Kickstarted that was funded for an anthology of Two-Spirit and queer stories from Indigenous creators. A backer update told us that would be honored and re-prints would be directed to a new publishing house in the future.

Sexual assault is serious. It can ruin lives. The strength of character and humor Dean has shown has been nothing short of admirable. The lack of accountability shown by Nicholson is astounding. The comics community as a whole has a choice to make in how we address sexual assault when it occurs among us. The level of accountability must be consistent regardless of the abuser or the victim. With more focus on sexual abuse and misconduct than ever before, we’re going to see a staggering amount of stories come out of the woodworks. Please, don’t be one of the people tweeting that “everyone knew” or that “this is a pattern with them.” Speaking up can stop another victim from being subjected to harm. It can save lives. We talk a lot about believing women but I want to emphasize the importance of believing victims regardless of gender identity or orientation.

Tres Dean has a book out now called For Your Consideration: Dwayne “The Rock’ Johnson. It’s a fun and insightful look into one of Hollywood’s biggest stars and it’s available here. Consider getting it for yourself or a loved one.

If you or a loved one is a survivor of sexual abuse, you are not alone. Every 73 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted. RAINN is a wonderful organization of support and resources for survivors and loved ones.

Call 800.656.4673

CJ Pendragon Married | Mother | Bisexual | Christian | Wordsmith Trying to make the world a little nerdier than I found it. See author's posts