@kaijucourse, who cannot be tagged for technical reasons:

Why do people comment and then block? It’s so counterproductive. Anyway I can’t not respond to this because I’ve been begging transactivists to come after me for months for being a straight man who thinks trans women fall outside the purview of my sexual orientation. So let’s see what we have here.

You literally just proved to me that you see people as genitals

*shrug*

I guess. I mean, I see people as genitals to roughly the same extent that a transwoman who has dysphoria about his own genitals sees himself “as genitals” when he pays his hard-earned money to buy clothes to hide them or even to have them surgically altered. Any trans person who does anything to either change their genitals surgically / hormonally, or by wearing a prosthesis / tucking / wearing a garment to hide them, is obviously seeing him or herself “as genitals”, and you’ll want to make sure you call them “fucking disgusting” and tell them to “fuck off” also. You would be a hypocrite otherwise.

I’m not bothered by the idea that genitals matter. When a man is heterosexual, it means that he’s attracted to women – people who are physically, biologically female, who have been socialised a certain way, and who have primary and secondary female sex characteristics.

My attraction to men and transwomen is absolute zero. That doesn’t mean I don’t have aesthetic sense. I can easily tell if a man is conventionally attractive. I wouldn’t be able to make use of a mirror if that weren’t true. I just don’t feel drawn to that type of attractiveness, if that makes sense. I can appreciate that it exists, and I can identify it, and I can groom and attire myself according to the aesthetics of male beauty, but I’m not experiencing any sort of sexual interest or desire for that, does that make sense? That applies to all males, be they men or transwomen or non-binary or genderfluid or whatever else.

and even knowing that someone is trans (operations or not), is a “turn off” for you.

Yes! Exactly! That’s exactly correct. Let’s say I were to see a transwoman who had started transitioning so young that there was no outward way to tell. {This is purely hypothetical because I’m almost 40 – there are none in my generation. But I’m going to pretend that they used to do this when I was a kid and so there would be some of these transwomen my age now.} If I had no idea that I was talking to a male, I could certainly be physically attracted. But the moment the interaction became sexual, I would have no sexual attraction.

I’ve seen this mentioned before as if it’s a personal failing – “if your attraction disappears the moment you see the transwoman’s penis, you’re a transphobe!” If that’s the definition of a transphobe {before I came to tumblr, I actually believed that trans individuals struggled with discrimination and even violence, and that’s what “transphobia” referred to but after a few months on tumblr I’ve been educated as to its true meaning, which is lack of sexual desire for transwomen} then I’m a transphobe, because I don’t experience sexual desire for males. I don’t care how much a person conforms to oppressive, stereotypical notions of “femininity”, I have sexual boundaries, and as a human being, that is my human right. You can call it whatever the fuck you want.

Like, way to go and be proud of admitting you only see people by what’s between their legs, and not even being accurate about it.

I’m neither proud nor ashamed, I’m just stating a fact: I am opposite-sex attracted; if that doesn’t include you, you have a 0% chance with me. Oh well. So do all other males on the planet. Somehow, the world keeps turning. Find someone else and get over it.

I’m not sure what the “not being accurate” part refers to. Is it a reference to the concept of the “neovagina”? If so, that’s of no interest to me. My hypothetical potential sexual partner must be biologically female. If I were to find myself in the position of discovering at such a late stage in the proceedings that my putative sexual partner had a “neovagina”, I would simply call it off. That’s called exercising my right to withdraw sexual consent at any time, for any reason. I would also be disappointed in being lied to and manipulated.

I’ve read some articles and descriptions of what a “neovagina” actually is and I will be extremely frank: I believe that this is medical malpractice. The body wants to be whole. Taking healthy tissue unless it is for an extreme reason {like cancer prevention in a genetically predisposed individual} is very, very suspect. There are individuals, who suffer from a mental disorder called Body Integrity Identity Disorder {BIID} who believe that they have a limb that should not be there, and they seek amputation to rid themselves of it. It is hard to convince me that this is appropriate treatment; that treatment for the mental health disorder would not be better.

From the abstract of an article in the American Journal of Bioethics, very quickly:

Lobbies of persons suffering from BIID explain the desire for amputation in analogy to the desire of transsexuals for surgical sex reassignment. Medical ethicists discuss the controversy about elective amputations of healthy limbs: on the one hand the principle of autonomy is used to deduce the right for body modifications; on the other hand the autonomy of BIID patients is doubted. Neurological results suggest that BIID is a brain disorder producing a disruption of the body image, for which parallels for stroke patients are known. If BIID were a neuropsychological disturbance, which includes missing insight into the illness and a specific lack of autonomy, then amputations would be contraindicated and must be evaluated as bodily injuries of mentally disordered patients. Instead of only curing the symptom, a causal therapy should be developed to integrate the alien limb into the body image.



This is the opinion that I hold for sex reassignment surgery also.

If you’re a woman, you sure as hell don’t need a man to tell you about the vagina/vulva. If you’re a straight man with any sexual experience, you don’t either. But in short, the vagina is not a simplistic anatomical structure. It is complex, living tissue that is constantly responsive during sex for the benefit of the woman but also the man – sex is about mutuality, after all. The experience of making love to a woman is inclusive of vaginal involvement. No one has the right to tell me that I can’t desire this, and that I can’t limit my own sexual experiences to female partners even if it were for this reason and no other {which I assure you, it is not – but it could be}.

To suggest that a “neovagina” is a real vagina is very insulting to women, whose bodies are not something that can be fashioned out of male flesh. Even as a straight man I’m insulted that I should even consider … what? Using a person’s wound like a fleshlight? That’s hideous to me. I am utterly revolted by the thought of it {which is my right as an individual – “transphobic” or not, I have the authority to set my sexual boundaries}. But it wouldn’t matter anyway – I’d be dead from the waist down if I even wanted to attempt it.

There’s no getting around it – genitals are what we have sex with. Man or woman, sexual arousal is absolutely required for sex to happen consensually. It’s not physically possible for a man to have sex without being aroused; just as it’s not physically possible for a woman to have sex without being aroused, though it’s possible to rape her, which is what I see over and over on tumblr being suggested.

What you have to understand is that when you try to guilt someone into sex, or to try to convince them to be sexually intimate with a “neovagina”, or when you hide something essential like your biological sex from a potential partner – you are engaging in non-consensual sexual behaviour. When you try to coerce someone through claims of “transphobia” or “bigotry” or “genital fetish” or whatever else, into sex, you are a rapist.

I can’t be raped by a transwoman because the biological limitations of the male body make it physically impossible. {And I’m strong enough and violent enough to prevent just about anyone from sodomising me either; I don’t worry about it.} And of course this is no surprise to anyone. But because women are usually not as physically large and violent as men {including transwomen}, and don’t need to summon an erection somehow, they are vulnerable to sexual and physical violence. This is, in my opinion, part of why women are overwhelmingly the target of pressure, coercion, and other rape tactics, to force them into accepting sex with someone they don’t want. {Add to that male entitlement to women’s sexuality, transwomen’s male socialisation, etc.}

I’m pleased that you were the first, after several months of trying, to find fault with an Actual Straight Man for not wanting to fuck transwomen, because I was starting to think it would never happen. But you blocked me, so you don’t get to read about how deeply disturbed and disgusted I am by your rape promoting rhetoric.