Hi, and thanks for actually reading the text of this article, unlike the hundreds of gun owners already screaming in the comments. The ones who can't even read before firing back but insist that they be allowed to carry AR-15s into restaurants. If you mention gun control online you're accused of bias, as if a preconceived inclination toward not being shot to death is an outrageous personal failing. But even using euphemisms like "gun control" is how first-world countries gently approach the screaming people clutching the lethal weapons.

From the outside, America looks like that Star Trek episode where civilians volunteer to be randomly murdered by computers, but not nearly as well organized. Gun owners have a huge range of arguments in favor of gun ownership, and I absolutely agree with every single one of them until I'm out of range. But I've got an Atlantic Ocean in the way now, and the NRA hasn't (yet) lobbied for the sale of ICBMs to private citizens, so I'd like to respond to the silliest arguments.