On Monday, the Republicans from the House Intelligence Committee released a “report” of their own in advance of the report that the Democratic majorities on the three committees inquiring into the president*’s impeachment produced on Tuesday.

The Republican document is best read while passing the time with a little Solitaire, because it explains that the president* is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being the Republicans on that committee ever have known in their lives. The Democratic report is an outright burial job. The president* tried to extort an agreement out of the government of Ukraine to help him ratfck the 2020 election. All the receipts are there, in four-part harmony and full orchestration, with circles and arrows and paragraphs on the back explaining how they all would be used as evidence against a renegade presidency.

In dealing with reports such as the one released on Tuesday, it is always important to remember the ARF Principle: Always Read Footnotes. For example, here’s a piquant bit of information that you would miss if you abandoned the ARF Principle. Rep. Devin Nunes, Republican of California, ranking member of the House Intelligence committee and former White House lawn ornament, is all over this report. Calls between Nunes and John Solomon, the enormously useful reporter formerly working at The Hill, are featured. These are the people the president* left on the beach. And this is the true bottom line.

“The impeachment inquiry has found that President Trump, personally and acting through agents within and outside of the U.S. government, solicited the interference of a foreign government, Ukraine, to benefit his reelection.”

Everything else is window dressing. If the Republican Senate votes to acquit in the face of this damning account, it might just as well hang a “For Let—Cheap” sign in every American embassy all around the world. We’re all just another cheap hustle.

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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