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They told us to take water retention pills. A lot of the girls took laxatives. I started drinking this yogi tea that makes you poop more. We would have happily defaulted on a loan with Shylock just to be rid of that unsightly extra pound of flesh. And it's not like any of us were overweight from the start; we had maybe 15 or 20 pounds to lose. When you're that close to your goal weight, it's harder to cut pounds. But their goal was for us to lose a pound a day for a month, because that looks awesome on a banner ad. And since losing a pound a day for a month is just all kinds of unhealthy, they plied us with, uh, "diet aids." I have no idea what they were -- they told us they were vitamins -- but it sure sounds like a polite pseudonym for "shady Chinese amphetamines."

Psychonaught

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We agreed not to drink any water for hours before the weigh-ins, because those few seconds under lights on the scale were all that mattered. During weigh-in, we'd all pump our arms in the air and cheer and high-five -- shit no one actually does to congratulate friends outside of an '80s teen comedy. But when you celebrate like that, even when it's forced, you start to buy into it. They give so much positive reinforcement for the weight loss, and you're sort of isolated with all these hungry, tired people. It's like a recipe for breaking down a person's psychological barriers. This is how they get people to turn state's evidence. Or join Scientology.