You probably weren’t expecting a sudden shift to the new generation already where ya? Well, neither was I really. With (most) kids in the house all grown up, it was time for Chlamydia to pick a heir for the family name, but she is such a loving soul that I couldn’t imagine it would be in her personality to be able to choose because she loves them all. At least I thought she did, until I looked at the relationship menu for her.

Apparently, Chlamydia loves no one but Christopher…

So I took it upon myself to cast Adolf as the new heir to the family since I love him so much and I began to wonder why I even bothered letting Chlamydia having so many children if I was just going to pick the first one anyways.

So now we begin where we left off, with Adolf trying to set his entire family on fire, managing to kill Jizzelda and now leaving home with only $2,076 to his name. He wasn’t about to go into the world so empty handed though, so Adolf took it upon himself to raid the money trees in his family’s back yard and stock up on all of the produce as well to sell for big money.

He then got the wish to cast ice blast on the tub and I decided it would be lovely going away present to make him break all of the things in the house before leaving. True Adolf style.

However with only a little money comes a lot of problems and Adolf’s only option was to hitch it homeless or move in with his Aunt Gregora and Uncle Joffrey. He knew Joffrey a little bit from their encounter in the past and got along well, so it was the best decision for him at the time.

Ahh, the smell of memories was in the air. I forgot this place was hideous and filled with gnomes. Good times.

Adolf rang the bell and tried not to judge the place on the terrible hall decor he could see through the windows.

The door opened to reveal… uh.. crap I forgot her name. Anyways, this lady, we are going to call her Helena because that sounds like an old person name. She greeted Adolf with a warm smile and invited him right inside and out of the rain.

Helena revealed that she was actually Joffrey’s girlfriend (who knew!) and that she took care of the home while him and Gregora went to work during the day. They would be home soon and he was welcome to make himself at home. Adolf was a little unsettled by the decor.

Adolf: I.. uh. Thanks.

I really forgot how bad this place was… that ceiling. Oh dear. Something would have to be done about all of this…

It turns out that Helena was also a witch! They both kind of stood around in the living room conjuring apples and ignoring each other until Joffrey came home.

When he arrived, Adolf was glowing (not from happiness, from a failed spell) and told joffrey about the situation. He was happy to allow Adolf to move in and told him there was plenty of space since the place hadn’t changed since he was a little boy growing up here with Adolf’s mother and their siblings.

Even Chester’s award of excellence in fishing still hung proudly on the wall, something Adolf appreciated immensely. It was nice to know that his roots came from excellence and not the idiotic likenesses of his brothers and sisters. Especially Carl…

Gregora was still as beautiful as ever with her old lady hair and kitty cat sweater. I wonder what it would have been like if she had become the heir…

At least she wouldn’t have passed down that terrible nose…. Oh god.

Adolf didn’t know his aunt very well, but they seemed to get along nicely and without complaint, so he was also welcome to stay with them for as long as he liked in her eyes.

Even Joffrey’s first little friend was still alive and kicking at home. Poor Frank was so lonely, being put away in the children’s bedrooms all these years. I was surprised he wasn’t a smelly dead carcass by now. I guess Joffrey really did love him a lot.

Frank: I’m gettin too old for dis shit.

The bedroom was definitely ill decorated in Adolf’s opinion. The girl colors were just too much for him to bare.

Luckily for him though, his Aunt Gertrude’s room was still intact and he was pleased to see that she shared similar interests and decor as he did. He would have to one day meet her.

And so that night, everyone went fast to sleep. Joffrey and Helena slept in the same bed that conceived Joffrey by his big fat sweaty father and beautiful mom and I found it a little weird that he had no problems sleeping in the same sheets. But whatever floats Joffrey’s boat…

One thing that definitely still went on was the constant heckling between Joffrey and Gregora. Even in their old age, the two still fought and dished it out with each other.

Helena wasn’t very keen on his actions, but Joffrey didn’t like little old ladies tell him what to do.

I decided it was time for Adolf to get a little bit of a makeover since he was out on his own, so I went with a style that was more fitting to his.. er… nature.

Yes, very fitting.

Adolf was a man in town looking for something to do with his life, so he decided that he’d bar hop that night and check out the nearest venues to find someone he could buddy up with. He wondered what his beloved Amber could be doing right now.

Little did he know, Amber and Krystin were actually in the club and Krystin had spotted him.

Krystin: Don’t look now, but your lover boy is here.

Amber: Who?! Carl!?

Amber: Oh… Hi Adolf. Haven’t seen you in a while.

Adolf: I saw you yesterday night sleeping on my porch but when I tried to say hi, you ran off.

Amber: Nope… wasn’t me…

Adolf decided it was time for a date with his crush so he took her upstairs where they started to play a game of pool. Adolf racked up the balls and fetched pool sticks for the two of them.

Amber was also doing some collecting of her own…

…with her eyes on Adolf’s butt.

But not even two minutes into the game, Amber quit and left the date saying “You have issues and I’m not sticking around to deal with them!”

This was seriously how all of their dates together ended and it made Adolf FURIOUS!

Adolf: I WILL HAVE HER, IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO!

Sounding a little bit like Chester there, bub.

He was so upset he set the club on fire. Yep. What else did you expect? Him to go home and cry alone in his room like a normal person would?

What a baby.

The next thing anyone knew, there was suddenly a fire!

I like to imagine that this song was playing while the place went up in flames.

Krystin: That dude has some serious issues.

The entire club was closed and everyone was rushed out of the venue so that the firefighters could put out the flames.

Adolf had a smile on his face as the place emptied out, happy to have spoiled everyone else’s night just like his.

Then he went home and wrote a love letter to Amber, expressing his deepest feelings and love for her. She never wrote back.

Later in the week, Adolf decided to visit his parents to see how they were doing and his siblings. He had heard that Godzilla had grown up (she did and she it gorgeous, damnit). But Christopher wouldn’t let him into the house so he could only dream.

Here’s Godzilla on her birthday, the game notified me when she grew up!

The only thing Adolf could do was stare longingly into the house through the front door. Not even Chlamydia wanted him around.

Apparently they adopted a kitten when he moved out. His name was Hatbox. Adolf really enjoyed him.

So he picked him up and took him home.

Adolf: You’ll make the perfect present for my girlfriend. Well, she isn’t my girlfriend yet. But… she will be.

Hatbox: u wut m8.

Adolf literally took that cat.

He walked across the street to Amber’s place only to find that she wasn’t there. Krystin wasn’t happy to see him, let alone have him in her house, so she told him he could stay and wait for her in her house if he’d like, but she wouldnt be home til dark.

They sat in silence with one another. Their personalities clashed too much and I felt that Adolf would probably just ignore her and pretend that she doesn’t exist since he thinks himself superior to everyone else (that diva trait doesn’t help at all). So they sat in the living room watching Hatbox roll on the floor.

Hatbox: dis place be dank.

Krystin: Hey, maybe you should just go home and I can call you when she gets here? She might be out a while…

Adolf: No, she’s here. I can smell her.

Amber really had arrived at that moment and was on her way inside Krystin’s home to make herself something to eat.

She was caught by Adolf though, who annoyed her to no end at the moment.

But who could resist such a handsome nose like that when it is begging you to sit outside and watch the stars together?

So Amber followed him out and they shared secrets on the front lawn as they gazed into the sky.

Adolf puttin a move on her… ooooh boy, you get it.

If only they were actually staring at the stars and not Krystin’s big blue purple house.

sigh

Young love…

To be continued! ☺