ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Move over Fiji!

Australia is now the home of Oceania’s most unstable government, according to the International Monetary Fund.

The international financial institution explained to The Advocate this morning that after close to a decade of political in-fighting for the sole purpose of personal gain, repeated coups and minority governments, the planet has grown weary of our island home.

“The last proper, stable prime minister that Australia had was John Howard,” said one IMF analyst.

“And he thrust the nation into two wars, taxed the bejesus out of the poor, reintroduced race-based policy and took away everybody’s guns,”

“Since then, each successive leader has been a habitual bed-shitter who’s struggled to consolidate power and run the nation with any real authority. Liberal or Labor, they’re both as reliable as a 3am promise made outside a pub. Not that we can talk in America, but Jesus. Ya’ll worse than Fiji.”

The Advocate reached out to The Office of the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

However, a person from The Green did send our reporters and unsolicited reply to the questions we put to the major parties. That fax was promptly put in the bin, where it hopefully, by the grace of God, will not be recycled.

More to come.