On September 12, 2011, 20th Century Fox and Lucasfilm will be releasing one of the most anticipated Blu-ray boxed sets ever—all 6 Star Wars movies in one complete package. By all accounts, this will be the definitive version of the films—all in 1080p HD, and with nearly innumerable extras throughout. It’s hard for me to even imagine the amount of extra content that will be available.

And I won’t be buying it.

Lucas has gone too far

People who know just how much of a Star Wars fan I am (I grew up with it, and it’s simply a part of who I am) have already been instructed that it is completely off any and all wishlists for birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah, whatever. I just plain do not want it. George Lucas has simply gone too far. The changes he made in 1997, the goofy things they did with the DVD release in 2004, the downright insulting release of the “original” prints in 2006, and the ridiculous changes in this current release are just too much for a life-long fan to bear.

But rather than regurgitate rhetoric, I’m going to give a run-down of the primary reasons why I just can’t stomach it:

Greedo shoots first—A New Hope

This abomination showed itself in the 1997 remastered “Special Edition” theatrical release. I gladly went and saw all three of them, excited for every moment I was about to witness again on the big screen. When Greedo’s shot fired, I was completely and utterly stunned. “That’s not how it happened!” my brain screamed at me, but I had already moved on to the next scene.

Why I hate this change so much:

A New Hope is almost as much about Han’s journey as it is about Luke’s. When we meet him in the Mos Eisley cantina, Han Solo is NOT a good guy. He’s a smuggler, a killer, a ruthless money-grubbing scruffy nerf herder, if you will. He’s only in it for the cash, and constantly trying to figure out a way to make each step he takes more profitable than the next. His journey is a natural evolution from true rogue to hero, and only comes about through his travels with Luke, Obi Wan, Leia, and our two droids. By making Greedo shoot first, George Lucas completely watered down the character of Han Solo and totally negated the significance of his journey. Rather than finding a better person within himself, Han simply uncovers what was there all the time.

Han’s conversation with Jabba in the launch bay—A New Hope

In a scene cut from the original release, Jabba confronts Han Solo in the launch bay at Mos Eisley, demanding payment for a failed smuggling run of Kessel “Spice” (sounds very Dune-like). In the 1997 Special Edition, this scene is added back in, with a ridiculously poorly-rendered CGI Jabba replacing the actor that was filmed originally.

Why I hate this change so much:

Seeing Jabba so early in the series completely eliminates the impact of his reveal in Jedi. When we first saw him on screen in 1983, it was fantastic. Here was this gigantic hulking slug monster who wanted to take away our new favorite character. He took up the whole screen. He was disgustingly glorious. By putting him into A New Hope, all of that impact was completely taken away, particularly when accounting for the slapdash way he was wedged into the movie. Possibly (and this is a HUGE possibly), had they taken the time to render the scene well, and give Jabba at least some of the on-screen impact that he had in Jedi, the scene might have worked. But as he appears in the Special Editions, it’s just not there. The entire scene is just completely unnecessary.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: My original memory of this scene is flawed. I had somehow concocted a scene in my head where, in the original release, Jabba had sent a henchman to warn Han Solo of the consequences of not paying back his debt. Thinking about it further, I think it would have been a great way to do the scene, rather than the ridiculous thing they put in there in 1997. Check out the “Behind the Scenes” section of this article on StarWars.com for details about the scene.

Jabba’s palace band & new song—Return of the Jedi

In the 1997 Special Editions, Lucas completely redid the opening scene in Jabba’s palace. The original song, ‘Lapti Nek’ was replaced with a new composition titled ‘Jedi Rocks’ and updates to the cast of the Max Rebo Band. On the surface, the song isn’t really bad, and is rather entertaining, but it still doesn’t fit with the original feel of the movie. Call it “too clever by half” if you will.

Why I hate this change so much:

Jabba’s palace is not supposed to be a cool place to hang out. The original low-fi song and lackluster performances by the singers and dancers give the idea that this is a place where bad people chill (as evidenced by the presence of Jabba and Boba Fett). One YouTube comment describes the old palace as a “creepy opium den in space” which is exactly how I would place it. The new version makes it seem like some hoppin’ club on the outer rim. On top of that, after watching clips of it again for this writing, the CGI and re-filmed characters just look out of place and (particularly in the case of Joh Yowza) cartoonish. Yet more watering down by Lucas.

Extra tentacles and the Sarlacc’s beak—Return of the Jedi

Again, in the 1997 Special Editions, Lucas added extra tentacles and a snapping beak to the Sarlacc, that mysterious sand pit monster where you are “slowly digested over a thousand years”. Apparently, the original Sarlacc didn’t come across as dangerous enough—or maybe Lucas felt that it looked too much like a toothed sand anus with pinworms (why that’s not frightening enough on its own, I’ll never understand). Either way, the changes to the Sarlacc are incredibly obvious and don’t lend any additional weight to the monster.

Why I hate this change so much:

The thing that made the Sarlacc scary was the fact that, once you were down in the hole, that was it—but you didn’t know exactly what “it” was. The danger of the Sarlacc is in its unknown. Adding the tentacles and the ridiculous beak completely takes away from the whole thing. The fear goes from “What’s going to happen when I get swallowed up by the giant toothy sand anus with pinworms?!” to “That beak looks like it will hurt.”

Extra celebrations after the Death Star’s destruction—Return of the Jedi

One of the greatest moments in my cinematic memories is the final destruction of the Death Star at the end of Return of the Jedi. The celebration on Endor, the X-Wing’s dropping fireworks, all of it. In the 1997 Special Editions, Lucas added footage of celebrations occurring on other planets, notably Naboo and Coruscant. What looks like early footage from the prequels (then only two years out) showing crowds cheering and a group of Gungans (one of whom we all know is Jar Jar, even though it’s never credited or confirmed) screeching “Weesa Free!” is interspersed with the original celebration to convey the feeling of a galaxy-wide victory.

Why I hate this change so much:

I don’t really hate this change that much. I thought it was pretty cool at the time to see some of the other planets that would be included in the next set of movies, and potential new characters. Looking back, however, I find that it was just too much, and took away from the intimate victory brought forth by so much sacrifice on Endor itself. If the mission on Endor had failed, the Empire would have suceeded, and the Death Star would have survived. I feel that in the original cut, the rest of the galaxy would have heard about the victory second- and third-hand, becoming the fuel of legends that would eventually be the scripts we were seeing played out already on-screen. And on top of that: Jar Jar. Really, George? You had to take the single worst character from the prequels and shoehorn him into the Holy Trilogy?

Actor replacement of Anakin Skywalker—Return of the Jedi

In the 2004 DVD release of the Special Editions, the actor who originally played Anakin Skywalker (Sebastian Shaw) is replaced with Hayden Christensen, whom we all know played the late teen to adult Anakin in the prequels. Fortunately, so as not to get downright comical with the changes, they left Sebastian Shaw in the suit during the death scene rather than trying to shoehorn Christensen into that spot.

Why I hate this change so much:

He’s not the guy that’s sitting there on the fence in my memory. And trust me, it’s deeply embedded in my memory. The original trilogy are the most watched movies in my history. I have seen each of them a minimum of 30 times, and since Jedi came out right at the perfect age for me, it’s probably up in the 50+ range. I know what the guy sitting on the fence looks like, and it’s not Hayden Christensen. I understand the change from a continuity standpoint, but I still really don’t like it.

The awful sound and video restoration issues—All three of the original trilogy

The 2004 DVD release of the Special Editions is fraught with problems both in audio and video (and from what I’ve been reading, most of the issues have not been repaired for The Complete Saga). Certain parts of the score got stereo flipped during the upmix into 5.1 (the rear channels’ right and left), the score is almost completely drowned out in parts, and a bunch of goofy ambient clicks and beeps were added to certain scenes. Much of the matting is still visible when ships fly across the star field (a hallmark of the original prints that for some reason never got corrected), some scenes were darkened to enhance the lowlights but manage to completely erase a good portion of the detail, and the color correction on the lightsabers in some scenes is completely nonexistent or just plain wrong: an early scene in A New Hope shows Luke’s lightsaber as green, rather than the blue it is in the entire rest of the movie; also, Vader’s lightsaber is pink for a good portion of his battle with Luke on the star destroyer in Return of the Jedi.

Why I hate this so much:

In 2004, there is absolutely no excuse for such poor quality control on such a particularly iconic set of film restorations. You can darken blacks without destroying detail. Color correction can be done properly by just about anyone with ten minutes of experience in Photoshop. Someone could have actually listened to the entire 5.1 audio track to see that the score channels were flipped and some of the music was completely crushed out before going to master. All simple things that could have made it a much better experience, but only served to make the whole edition feel rushed. On top of that, it appears that most of these issues are still present in next week’s release.

R2D2 hiding in the rocks—A New Hope

On the Blu-ray release, in the scene on Tatooine where R2D2 is hiding from the Sand People, Lucas felt it was necessary to add CGI rocks in front of his hiding place, making him more well hidden. The effect isn’t horrible, until analysis shows that he couldn’t get into that spot with the rocks where they are, and the effect is applied inconsistently in the scene. Certain cuts of this scene don’t have the rocks added in.

Why I hate this change so much:

My problem with this addition is more about poor implementation. Forget the fact that he wouldn’t be able to get into that spot with the rocks there—the fact that the rocks aren’t there in every cut of the scene is just ridiculous. This should not be an easy thing to overlook. If you’re adding in the rocks, make sure they’re in place for the entire scene. Easy, right? I guess not, since it slipped past the designers, the CGI artists, the editors, and the QA team.

No! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!—Return of the Jedi

That’s right. I said Return of the Jedi. “But,” you may say “I thought that line was in Revenge of the Sith!” You would be correct. You would probably also be shocked to learn that Lucas decided it was good to add into the Blu-ray release of Return of the Jedi. Yes, that’s right—the single worst audio clip of all six movies is now the worst pair of audio clips of all six movies. During the climactic scene in Return of the Jedi, while the Emperor is zapping Luke with his Force Lightning, Vader has an audible change of heart before throwing the Emperor down the shaft.

Why I hate this change so much:

This change was actually the last straw for me. By the time I had researched some of the other things noted in this article, I had already made the decision that I would never own a copy of this set. George Lucas seems completely uncomfortable with people coming to the realization of who they are on their own, and on their own terms. As with Greedo shooting first, it waters down the journey that the characters have made to become their final person. In the original scene, Vader watches in silent agony as the man he’s come to know as his son is dying in front of him. His silence when he makes the decision to intervene is where the power of his change, and the scene itself, comes through.

Insistence that these are the Really Real Final Versions—The Complete Saga

George Lucas has gone on record that the changes starting in the 1997 Special Edition release are the final versions of the six films. He has also stated that he would like to see the films in their original state go away, never to be seen again. At times, he cites an extreme cost to do new transfers, which is funny for three reasons:

The cost to make a new HD transfer from the original negatives is quite literally pocket change from a movie standpoint (likely less than $100,000 by some estimations, not including marketing and pressing of discs, etc.) He’s a BILLIONAIRE Any cost incurred in doing an HD transfer of the originals would probably be made up in the first 30 seconds of preorders

Unfortunately, for the many fans of the original trilogy, it seems unlikely that we’ll ever see an official HD transfer of the actual movies we’ve grown to love. George Lucas owns the copyrights, and through shady dealings between rights-holders and copyright law, Lucasfilm will own them until well after anyone who cares about the original films is dead and gone. Maybe, just maybe, in the far-flung future, copyright law will be repaired, and anyone who desires can obtain a set of the original prints housed in the Library of Congress to create their own Special Edition. Maybe.

So, fans of the original trilogy (and even the prequels, which are still entertaining, if not canon-worthy), what can you do?

Do like me. Choose to not purchase “The Complete Saga” when it launches next week. Choose to return any gifts of “The Complete Saga” unopened. Choose to inform anyone who cares about the abominations visited upon these cultural icons and encourage them to follow your lead. Share this article with your friends. Join one of the many causes and petitions that have formed around the changes in the Blu-ray release, and try to get the message through to Lucasfilm that we just don’t want this.

You may also want to check out Save Star Wars—a site dedicated to bringing us the original movies, not the hacked up tripe we’re being served next week. Great reading for any fan of the original releases.