“I DON’T know why I’m back here ...”So said Sophie Monk, sitting down for a second round of ‘Hard Chat’ with comedian Tom Gleeson for his popular segment on the ABC’s The Weekly With Charlie Pickering.

Monk and Gleeson first squared off back in April, with the former Bardot singer proving herself surprisingly adept at handling Gleeson’s barrage of withering put-downs disguised as serious questions.

Second time around, Monk was in fine form once more. Gleeson said that after her success on The Bachelorette, he’d like to see her hosting The 7:30 Report and interviewing the Prime Minister — but notes she’d need to learn who the Prime Minister actually is first.

“I like Bill Shorten, he follows me on Instagram. Likes my photos,” is Monk’s cheery response.

“Australia fell in love with you in The Bachelorette … is it good that someone fell in love?” Gleeson asked, referencing the persistent rumours that Monk’s relationship with chosen winner Stu Laundy is just for show.

And then, another stinger:

“What’s more fake, your relationship with Stu or your face?”

“Oh my god, that’s so mean! But … good question,” said Monk.

Noting that their last chat went viral, Gleeson asked if any of Monk’s Bachelorette suitors were also “a bit viral.” She didn’t bat an eyelid, instead launching into a frank and animated discussion about STI testing procedures on the dating show that left Gleeson speechless.

And in the end, Monk won round two, pulling out this beautiful non-sequiter when talk turned to personal grooming.

“I’ve got a nipple hair that just won’t stop growing. I’ve called it Trevor, because it’s just part of me now. I pluck it and it comes back — people should study that for male pattern baldness.”

With that, all a dumbfounded Gleeson could do was wrap the interview up.

Hard Chat: Monk 2, Gleeson 0. Let’s see if he’s game for round three.