It’s Iowa Caucus day which can only mean one thing for Iowans – it’s time to mentally prepare for another three and a half years of total irrelevance.

“Things are going to get mighty dull around here come Tuesday.”



But Iowans know how to the make the best of a good thing while it’s still here.

“I’m not going to get any more free pizza lunches and chicken dinners for a good long while, but I’ve managed to pack on over a hundred pounds these last few months to help me through the lean season.”

Just as they did with Rick Santorum last time around, Iowans have a plan to potentially make the rest of the country pay them attention once again come election time.

“We always make sure to select the most outrageous candidates – that way if they go win the presidency and people ask where did this insanity start, we’ll come to mind.”

They’re feeling good this time about Donald Trump.