To the Editor:

I have discovered a tool for grandparents and relatives who miss the children in the family.

It’s hard because we cannot be with them, and we cannot hug them. We all feel distanced and lonely. Let’s imagine that being stuck at home with no friends and nothing to do (and having annoying siblings, too) could make the children grumpy — and annoying to their parents.

So call each of them and tell them you’re here to listen to their complaints. Tell them to bring a phone into a quiet room and close the door. They can air all of their miseries to you and be as annoying as they please. Even though it’s long distance, they might feel better. And so will we.

Don’t judge them; just love them. That’s our joy and our job.

Jane Isay

New York

The writer is the author of “Unconditional Love: A Guide to Navigating the Joys and Challenges of Being a Grandparent Today.”