One of my big hopes is that, somewhere, at this very moment, sitting on the desktop of some laptop is a video file labeled DonaldTrumpPeeTape.mp4. But even as encouraging as the early reports from these investigations into Donald Trump and his campaign's dealings with the Russians seem to be, the dream of the pee tape seems to be an unlikely outcome. Yesterday, NBC News reported that Donald Trump's bodyguard Keith Schiller testified before Congress this week about the infamous trip to Moscow for the 2013 Miss Universe Pageant that served as the setting for the best (and wettest) rumor that's ever existed.

After a business meeting before the Miss Universe Pageant in 2013, a Russian participant offered to "send five women" to Donald Trump's hotel room in Moscow, his longtime bodyguard told Congress this week, according to three sources who were present for the interview. Two of the sources said the bodyguard, Keith Schiller, viewed the offer as a joke, and immediately responded, "We don't do that type of stuff."

Now, yes, Schiller claimed that he rejected the offer outright and later told Trump about it on their way back to their hotel rooms, which would certainly undermine the dream of a tape. But there are a couple of notable things about this report. For one thing, it seems to confirm that the Steele dossier is being investigated thoroughly, which is a good thing. For another, this looks like at the very least Trump may have been the target of the kompromat-style entrapment that Vladimir Putin is famous for. Those two pieces of news are certainly not nothing, but they aren't nearly as fun or exciting as the pee tape would be. But lest you think there's now no way for the tape to be real, there's still a glimmer of hope.

Schiller said the two men laughed about it as Trump went to bed alone. Schiller testified that he stood outside Trump's hotel room for a time and then went to bed. One source noted that Schiller testified he eventually left Trump's hotel room door and could not say for sure what happened during the remainder of the night.

So what it really comes down to is this: Do you believe that Trump is the kind of guy who doesn't "do that type of stuff," or do you believe that Donald Trump is totally the type of guy who would wait for his bodyguard to go to bed before calling up whoever it is you call to get Russian prostitutes to pee on you? So, yeah, it's just that cliché question that has been plaguing politics over and over for years.