The Bundesliga table makes for uncomfortable reading, except for those of a Bavarian persuasion or who happen to support TSG Hoffenheim. (Thanks for reading this, Dieter. Much appreciated). Record champions Bayern Munich, 4-0 winners over Hannover 96, seem to be heading for another championship milestone, having won five of their seven opening games (two draws) – despite the absence of Messrs Schweinsteiger, Thiago Alcantâra and Franck Ribéry, despite post-World-Cup fatigue and despite Pep Guardiola’s new tactical knack of switching between three at the back and four at the back, via an occasional none at the back, every 90 seconds or so.

Bayern were supposed to be vulnerable at the start of their season but all their problems have proved inconsequential in the light of opposition issues that are vaguely familiar. A depleted Dortmund struggle to get regular domestic wins but turn it on in Europe. Jens Keller’s Schalke are a byword for inconsistency and lack of sustained progress, Leverkusen play good stuff but cannot quite close the deal. It is all a bit Stan Smith: so last season, darling.

Some things have changed, however. Second-placed Hoffenheim, last campaign’s chief purveyors of amusingly retro scorelines ( 6-2! 2-6! 4-4! etc) have cleaned up their defensive act. They still score a lot (11) but concede at only half the rate (6) and at opportune moments. Markus Gisdol’s plucky, billionaire-bank-rolled side from a village in nowhere (Rhein-Neckar, the locals call it) are still unbeaten. It is the best start since their first ever appearances in the top flight resulted in a spectacular Wintermeisterschaft (they were top of the table at the winter break) and equally spectacular collapse in the second half of the 2007-08 season.

“We have more depth in the squad and the players get on very well,” Gisdol explained after the 2-1 win over Schalke on Saturday. He could have also mentioned an impressive attack line with the former S04 striker Adam Szalai (who very much celebrated his strike to make it 2-0), the Brazilian playmaker/false No9 Roberto Firmino, a superstar in the making, the German international Kevin Volland and Norwegian Tarik Elyounoussi (four goals). The 26-year-old had once compared himself to a “ketchup bottle”, the general manager, Alexander Rosen, told Bild: “You keep whacking it but nothing comes out at first. And then everything comes all at once.”

If you like your symbolism heavy and your narrative monochrome, second-placed TSG’s resistance against the Red Machine from Säbener Strasse fits with the troubling idea that the big, storied clubs are either too slow or too stupid to keep up with Bayern.

“I feel sorry about the traditional clubs,” Ralf Rangnick, the sporting director of Red Bull-infused RB Leipzig (Bundesliga 2) said recently. His comments came in the wake of Nürnberg ultras forcing their players to hand back their shirts (“these people have been given too much power,” Rangnick said) but could just as well have applied to the often confused, capricious and volatile way a lot of the big boys do their business.

Werder Bremen, Hamburger SV and Stuttgart, the trio leading the depth-charge at the wrong end of the table, have more championships (15) than points (14) between them. Dortmund, Schalke and Hertha are not faring much better and 1.FC Köln will have their work cut out staying up.

Some observers feel that Bayern’s dominance is such that only new or newish money teams like VfL Wolfsburg (owned by Volkswagen), Hoffenheim (effectively owned by SAP boss Dietmar Hopp), Leverkusen (owned by Bayer) or indeed RB Leipzig will be able to challenge them in the long run. Hoffenheim’s good run – third-placed Gladbach could only draw 1-1 with Mainz and Sunday and do not look well-equipped to take up the Bayernjäger (Bayern hunters) mantle – feeds this dystopian vision.

But then again, things are not that simple. Bayern’s lead at the front is smaller than Chelsea’s in the Premier League, for starters. And the points difference between them and 18th-placed Werder is only 13. No major European league is currently as balanced and permeable.

Two seasons ago Hoffenheim were battling relegation; this year they might make the Champions League or slip down to mid-table again. Nobody knows. Neither new nor old money has been able to have the upper hand consistently, and even the status quo of the recent “elite”, comprising Bayern, Dortmund, Schalke and Leverkusen, is constantly being challenged. From the second spot down, at least.

Disaster in Dortmund | Bundesliga | Talking Points

Talking Points

• “This is the low point,” said a visibly shaken up Jürgen Klopp after the 1-0 defeat by Hamburg. Pierre-Michel Lasogga, who had been insulted by former HSV great Uli Stein in midweek (“he wouldn’t have carried the ball net in our team”) hit back with his first and Hamburg’s second goal of the season to inflict yet more pain on the Black and Yellows. Four defeats in seven games marked the worst start to a Bundesliga campaign since the Kloppo era began in 2008. Marcel Schmelzer’s broken hand (four weeks out) added injury to insult.

• Klopp will get plenty of time to turn things around but Keller might not be afforded the same luxury. The defeat at Hoffenheim was typical of his stop-start-reverse-forward reign at the Veltins-Arena. Whenever his S04 look as if they have turned a corner, they keep on turning until they are back where they started.

“This can’t go on,” said the sporting director Horst Heldt. There is another of those crisis meetings scheduled on Tuesday. Meanwhile Keller might check the Yellow Pages for rapid pest control: a dressing-room mole has given Bild a blow-by-blow account of Sunday’s team meeting. Moments of inactivity by Julian Draxler had been discussed, among other things, the man from the tabloid revealed on the Sky 90 talk show – with Keller sitting right next to him. It was quite tough to watch.

• Augsburg’s Tobias Werner complained to the assistant referee that Kevin de Bruyne had stepped on his heel. What came next was plain odd. Werner flipped up his leg – “I wanted to catch the (loose boot) but tried too hard,” he explained later – and the boot came off to hit De Bruyne right where it hurts. The Belgian’s remarkably non-plussed reaction saved Werner from a sending-off. Wolfsburg won 1-0, by the way.

“These people are stupid,” thundered Lucien Favre, “who comes up with these laws of the game?” A handball from Julian Korb (Mainz’s Jonas Hofmann converted the penalty) enraged the Swiss coach; Gladbach’s defender had only slightly extended his arm and handled the ball completely inadvertently. This made for one of those “the rules need to change” debates that Germans really love but the bigger story, in many ways, was Gladbach not taking advantage of their rivals’ weakness.

Max Kruse’s fine opener remained their only successful attempt despite a few good opportunities. The 26-year-old forward has been duly recalled by Joachim Löw for the national team. He had missed out on the World Cup, the story went, after an unscheduled team hotel visit by unauthorised service personnel in London back in November 2013.

Results: Hertha 3-2 Stuttgart, Dortmund 0-1 HSV, Werder 1-1 Freiburg, Leverkusen 2-2 Paderborn, Hoffenheim 2-1 Schalke, Bayern 4-0 Hannover, Frankfurt 3-2 Köln, Wolfsburg 1-0 Augsburg, Gladbach 1-1 Mainz.

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