New South Wales transport minister Andrew Constance has this afternoon announced that negotiations with the rail union have collapsed, all but assuring disruptions to Sydney travellers over the coming days, throwing the city’s business world into chaos and causing widespread public outrage. Stating that his hands were tied, Minister Constance said that there was simply “just no room in the budget to pay train drivers more than they already make” before driving off in his expenses paid chauffeured government car.

“I’m afraid the people of New South Wales are just going to have to swallow a few days of not being able to get to or from work,” continued the transport minister, before asking his driver to take the scenic route back to the office. “It’s a burden we’re all just going to have to bear, us public transport users.”