It can kind of be dehumanizing to just be reduced to a set of traits. Quite recently I had a situation like this happen to me. I was at a party and had a small group of people who seemed really enamored with me, or at least my appearance. It was nice to be complimented, but it felt kind of hollow. Beyond commenting on my appearance, there were no real attempts to have any more meaningful conversation or get to know me, it was just look at the goth girl, isn’t she great. I don’t think there was any intention to come across that way by anyone I was talking to. But it was one of those awkward social situations that you just kind of want to get out of. Something just felt off.



To sum things up, it’s ok to think goths are attractive. Just be mindful in your words and actions. Understand that behind all the black clothes and make up, there are people, and they aren’t just a set of stereotyped traits, nor are they here solely to pleasure you. This really shouldn’t be all that radical of an idea, but honestly our culture has these kinds of problems with women in general, goth or not. But I think it’s important to try and be better.



Because this is a pretty personal subject for a lot of people, comments and feedback is greatly appreciated. My own experiences and perspective is pretty limited, being trans and mostly in queerer circle, and I feel like other people sharing their own perspectives would be particularly valuable for this subject.

About the author: Zazie has no particular qualifications. She just likes goth rock and going to events a lot and sometimes writes about it for the Belfry Network.

Special thanks to Aytakk for consulting on the article and helping with the images.











