Ever since I was a little kid, I've wanted to live in the world of cartoons. Unfortunately, Toontown from Who Framed Roger Rabbit isn't real, even though I wished it would be on every one of my birthday cakes. So the next best thing is to help create animation. That's when I had the dream of one day becoming a cartoon voice actor. It's the best job possible. You roll up to a studio at noon in your sweatpants, goof around, voice funny characters, leave at 3 pm and get paid a shit-ton of money. The only catch is that there are no jobs available. This has always been the case. Legendary actor Mel Blanc did the voice of every cartoon character from the mid-30s to the early 80s (girl parts were done by June "Rocky The Squirrel and the old lady who takes care of Tweety Bird" Foray). These days, the job field has expanded considerably to the cast of The Simpsons and about 5 other people. So until Tom "Spongebob" Kenny screams his voice out at a death metal show, jobs are gonna be hard to come by. So why did I enroll in a cartoon voice acting class, if job prospects are so minimal? It's because I'm a cartoon nerd, and this is my way of seeing what life would be like in the giant robot shoes of Peter "Optimus Prime" Cullen.

The class is taught by Dolores Diehl*, who was named one of the seven best voice teachers around by Animation Magazine. And if there's one thing Animation Magazine knows, it's how to make lists of things. Dolores is a sweet old pro who uses the phrase "golly" a lot, which is awesome. Each week, we meet at a studio, where we're given real animation audition sides to read and record, while Dolores gives notes and teaches us technique. She works with the casting directors for all the major studios, and she's been teaching for many years now. Dolores is to voice acting what Egon is to paranormal sciences (and I do mean Real Ghostbusters Egon, with the hair). This past week, I gave my take on characters I barely remembered, like Foofur and Eleroo from The Wuzzles, then I ended the class with Batman (the part this nerdy Jew was born to play). Most of the people enrolled are in their mid-30's, so I'm about ten years younger than everyone else. I laughed when someone read, "it'll never happen again, d-d-d-Dr. Robotnik!!" Suddenly, I knew exactly what character from Sonic he was voicing.

No one else found it funny, probably because they're cool actors in an acting class, and not the guy who bought the Tiny Toons DVD on the first day it was released. This is the most fun class I've taken in LA. ToonTown may not exist, but at least I can pretend to be Batman and have people take it seriously. *So it's an ugly looking website. Wanna fight about it?