I've been trying like a banshee to get Access Services working. I generally know my way around sharepoint.. I just can't for the life of me get this thing working.

I've literally installed SharePoint 2013 in a new environment five times- trying to try different combinations, and I just assume that I'm doing something wrong. I've tried VMs, every time I do this- I put SharePoint on a domain controller.. and the primary logins are all domain admins / enterprise admins.

I see that there's a new whitepaper from Microsoft about this, it was published on 2/7. I definitely have new and interesting information in this article http://www.microsoft.com/en-us/download/details.aspx?id=30445

I really believe that I've tried my best, and this just isn't working!

Here's a previous question from stackoverflow: SharePoint 2013 Access Services Config

I have been using the ULS utility to search for errors.. but now, I just don't get any decent errors, I can't figure it out.

Here is a dump of all of my logs associated with the latest correlationID, can someone look over these and help me to figure out what I should research?

http://accessadp.com/2013/02/15/access-services-latest-uls-error-dump-215/