For most law students, judicial clerkships — especially Article III clerkships — are highly coveted, prestigious post-graduation employment positions. It is truly an honor and a privilege to obtain a clerkship, even one with a state court judge. If you’re the lucky recipient of a clerkship offer, you should take it and cherish it with all of your heart, because the benefits of working beside a judge will stay with you for your entire career in the law.

Unfortunately, sometimes things just don’t work out as planned for these eager law clerks. Sometimes, things like this happen, per our amazing sources here at Above the Law:

* A law clerk in Morristown, NJ, has filed a lawsuit against his judge. The complaint is 42 pages and it details everything his judge ever did wrong. * I’m sending a tip about a law clerk suing his judge in NJ. The complaint is insane, and if you find the clerk on LinkedIn, his profile is even more insane. * A 2014 Rutgers-Newark grad, not barred yet, loses his s**t, gets fired from clerkship, sues in federal court for everything imaginable (filed under seal), emails out the complaint to hundreds of people, and posts to the internet. TL:DR – brave or stupid kid quits on his future.

Well then! Sit back and relax, because we’re about to tell you a tale of absolute ridiculousness, courtesy of Joseph L. Dearie Jr., the “brave or stupid” law clerk in question. Before we begin to dissect his complaint, let’s check out his LinkedIn profile, which, in our opinion, is exactly as “insane” as our tipster promised — and maybe more.

In the summary portion of his LinkedIn page, Dearie tells anyone who is willing to read it his story about the supposed corruption he allegedly witnessed while working for Judge Edward V. Gannon of the Morris-Sussex Vicinage’s Civil Division in New Jersey. He also insists that his “mental health is excellent,” and that he “[doesn’t] believe any out of state psychologist or mental health professional would say otherwise.” Duly noted, Dearie.

Let’s get to Dearie’s complaint (it’s pro se, of course), where he names not only Judge Gannon as a defendant, but also the New Jersey Judiciary, the State of New Jersey, two law firms, and two members of the New Jersey Advisory Committee on Judicial Conduct.

Dearie is suing for everything under the sun, including, but limited to, retaliation, deprivation of due process rights, “defamtion,” intentional infliction of emotional distress (or negligent infliction of emotional distress, because you know, whatever), and civil conspiracy. Among the nine types of relief he seeks, Dearie requests “compensatory damages for time and money invested in graduating law school, passing both [the NJ and NY] bar exams, obtaining a clerkship position, and endur[ing] numerous acts of abuse by Judge Gannon all for the sole purpose of securing a prosperous legal career.” Would that we could all be compensated for going to law school and trying to get a job.

These are a few examples of some of the truly terrible things Dearie alleges Judge Gannon did to him during the length of his clerkship:

27. During the period between August 28, 2014 to December 1, 2014 J.L.D. spent a substantial amount of his time at work doing Judge Gannon’s personal tasks, these included, but are not limited to: a) Fixing Judge Gannon’s internet at his house; b) Driving Judge Gannon to his house to get his mail; c) Waiting in the car outside his Judge Gannon’s house for 30 minutes while Judge Gannon “checked on” his cleaning lady; d) Typing letters to Judge Gannon’s “debt collectors”; e) Regularly getting Judge Gannon coffee, and soda at a nearby market; f) Typing up a detailed order list for a décor box for WWII medals; g) Delivering closed packages/containers to the “New Courthouse” for “personal matters;” h) Researching parking and travel information for the Chicago Bears football team (specifically regarding their November 23rd, 2014 game against the Miami Dolphins); i) Looking up driving directions to a funeral service Judge Gannon was attending for a person with no connection to the New Jersey Judiciary or J.L.D.; j) Getting a specific judge or attorney on the phone so Judge Gannon could speak with them about personal matters; k) Performing research on a judge’s free speech rights on the bench and in the press for purposes of Judge Gannon’s personal affairs. l) Also see ¶ 63.[1]

Dearie goes on to allege that Judge Gannon was a foul-mouthed man who “[m]ade numerous derogatory remarks regarding: minorities, mentally handicapped, and women,” as one does. Dearie also claims that Judge Gannon told him that one of his former clerks “had to be mentally institutionalized during his clerkship.” Lovely.

The straw that broke Joe Dearie’s back came after Judge Gannon allegedly held oral arguments while he “appeared to be intoxicated.” Shortly thereafter, Dearie returned to chambers, had some water, stood over his desk for a while (presumably staring off into space), and then stood over his desk some more. He claims he felt so “anxious” about Judge Gannon’s alleged state on the bench that he had to leave the courthouse. This is where things begin to fall apart for Dearie, because other courthouse personnel apparently have a much different recollection of the day’s events. From the complaint:

110. On December 6, 2014, J.L.D. received a text message, followed by a phone call from B.G. (another Sussex County law clerk) saying she had heard that on Friday that J.L.D. had “thrown something” and “stormed out” and wanted to make sure everything was okay. She said she was under the impression J.L.D. was “done for good.” She said this story was told to numerous people, and that Judge Gannon had come over to the New Courthouse to tell people this story.

Dearie claims the incident was a complete fabrication, and that Judge Gannon told on him by calling Dearie’s ol’ dad, which led his father to stop by his apartment and “demand[] that J.L.D. go back and finish the year with Judge Gannon regardless of the circumstances” — lest he be spanked, we imagine. Dearie alleges that Judge Gannon called him “violent,” a “threat to others and himself,” and a “disgruntled law clerk” at a later meeting. Dearie also claims Judge Gannon gave him an ultimatum: that he must “sign up for treatment to deal with his ‘behavior/mental health problems’ or be terminated.”

Dearie took another route, and asked to be reassigned to another judge. Although it’s not entirely clear from the complaint, we believe Dearie may now be clerking for Presiding Civil Division Judge Rosemary E. Ramsay, or was clerking for her for at least a short time after leaving his job as a law clerk with Judge Gannon.

Who do you think is telling the truth, the tenured judge, or his allegedly “disgruntled law clerk”? The complaint is on the next page if you think you can sort this mess out. Only one thing’s for sure: Joseph L. Dearie Jr. just “quit on his future.”