kitten.JPG

So fluffy, so sweet. But don't turn your back on it unless you want a $5,000 plumbing bill. This isn't actually the cat that turned on the faucet in Florida, because the shelter won't release that kitty's name. But we all know it could be any cat, including yours.

(Kristyna Wentz-Graff/Staff)

In Florida, a profoundly ungrateful cat turned on a faucet at a shelter, leaving the water running overnight, flooding the place and doing thousands of dollars in damage. The shelter kitties, meanwhile, stayed safely in their beds and watched the water rise for 17 hours, possibly annoyed that the disaster (presumably) delayed their breakfast, what with the (presumed) yelling and running and hyperventilating by the humans who had to clean up the mess. The shelter can't be sure which kitty turned on the water, but one likely suspect has since been adopted, and the shelter says it warned her new owners. Good luck with that.

Elsewhere on the Cats: Minions of Satan Or Just Misunderstood? front, we have this freaky sauce pitcher/gravy boat thing that resembles a cat. Which would be sort of cute, except that the sauce/gravy/whathaveyou is dispensed through the cat's mouth, and can you think of any food that looks more appetizing when a cat pukes onto it? We can't, and the video of the puking cat dispensing salsa isn't going to change that. We love our cats. But no one who's ever woken up to that wretched "Acck-acck-ACK-BLURG-SPLAT" sound needs more cat puke in their lives. (Aside from the people who coughed up - sorry - to fund those puking cat pitchers, that is. The creators sold out. Sold out! We will mull that over as we bitterly scrub the cat puke stains out of the rug and resolve to do a better job of brushing the cats to combat hairball season.)

Speaking of retching, there's this horrifying San Francisco commune that prides itself on its members sharing 1,330 hugs per week and which serves to remind the introverts among us that there are far worse fates than scrubbing cat puke out of the rug. Get your application for the house of hugging horror here, and be sure to bring your puking cat pitcher when you move in. With strangers. Who hug 1,330 times a week.

To help you deal with the screaming horrors from that image, we give you these photos of assorted animals being bottle fed. No one's puking or forcing hugs on anyone, and we applaud that. And then we have a video of pets interrupting yoga, which does feature one creature forcing affection on another, but somehow it's cuter when it's a cat doing Parkour on your Downward Dog pose.

Happy weekend! Watch those faucets!

-- Mary Mooney

mmooney@oregonian.com

503-412-7020; @MaryKnitsPDX