Ok, ok, I know it’s been a while. I’m not good at updating blogs. But it’s okay because I’m bringing you something amazing today. Have you ever heard of conservapedia.com? It’s hilarious. It’s a completely serious website that is basically every stereotype of the religious right and every tired cliched argument of theirs rolled into one.

But the best part is when they have lists of what they think are the greatest conservative TV shows and movies. Some of them make sense. Like Last Man Standing, which if you’ve ever seen it, that show couldn’t be any more conservative even if it was called Last Republican Standing.

Some of them are more puzzling like Justified, which if you’ve ever seen that show, literally every religious character on that show is discovered to be either a fraud or an idiot. I’m not sure how that supports conservative values.

And some of their choices are downright hysterical. This is a direct quote from their description of House of Cards “Shows Democrats as they really are: corrupt frauds and atheists”

I just couldn’t get enough of this. This is The Room of conservative websites. It’s so bad you just have to see it.

Oh did I mention the slogan of this website is: “The Trustworthy Encyclopedia”

Liar Liar makes the list of greatest conservative films because it “Surprisingly takes on an anti-feminist theme by depicting the father as the good, righteous side in a courtroom divorce trial”

So if the father is a good guy in a divorce trial, that’s anti-feminst? Sounds like someone doesn’t know what feminism is.

The Dark Knight makes the list of greatest conservative films because it has a message of not giving into terrorists. Are you implying that liberal ideology necessarily includes a message of giving into terrorists? Because if I recall it was under a Democratic President that Osama Bin Laden was killed. That doesn’t sound like given into terrorists to me.

Oh and the worst liberal shows list is just as entertaining.

For example, the New Normal makes the list because apparently it’s a “Pro-gay anti-Christian show about a homosexual couple that want to have a baby, contains many liberal agendas, and portrays the conservative of the show from a negative viewpoint.”

Really? It’s anti-Christian exclusively because it’s pro-gay? You know there’s such a thing as gay Christians right? Plus how many conservative shows (like Last Man Standing) have a liberal character that exists as nothing more than a punching bag for the other conservative characters?

They also have subcategories in their lists such for the greatest conservative movies they have a section labeled debatable whether conservative and debatable whether great.

Space Jam shows up on the debatable whether great list. The plot is described like this: Michael Jordan uses the help of beloved children’s characters from the 1950s (a simpler time in America’s history) to beat back foreign invaders who wish to take away our freedoms.

Under that logic every alien invasion movie ever has conservative values. Apparently Independence day is one of the greatest conservative movies of all time.

Under debatable whether conservative it puts Team America World Police it’s “clearly pro military , pro-America, and anti-Hollywood. While I wouldn’t necessarily argue anti-hollywood as it’s made by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, who pretty much make fun of everybody, the name of the movie is Team America World Police, if you know anything about the plot of the movie, it’s clear it’s a satire that actively mocks the American military and America in general.

Also according to Conservapedia Beauty and the Beast loses points because ” there were a few hints at feminist propaganda at the beginning of the film, such as Belle being different from the villagers because she can read, which is implied to not be supported by the villagers at all (feminist propaganda often claims that women couldn’t get an education until the 1960s), as well as Belle being unwilling to hold the role of housewife for Gaston or raising children.”

So because Belle made a choice to reject Gaston because she wasn’t attracted to him at all, that makes her character a feminist advocate? Should women not have a choice in who they marry? Are they just supposed to marry the first person who proposes no matter what? Plus, she eventually does choose the beast and implied in that choice is the choice to become a wife and probably raising children (He is a prince after all, which means he would want his line continued which means he would want children)

Conservapedia goes onto say that “Gaston is a conservative and hardworking hunter who is considered by the villagers to be their town hero” Gaston is a narcissistic sexist pig that doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Are you sure you want to call him a conservative? I mean you’re probably not wrong, but don’t you guys usually try to convince people that you are not self obsessed sexist narcissists?

Also apparently the villagers of that movie were “strongly implied to be practicing and devout Christians” (don’t remember that part of the movie) and “Belle’s love for Beast (where it is implied that she was largely unaware of the Beast being formerly a human prince) could be seen as promoting bestiality” Do you see what I mean about this being hilarious?

So if you are looking for a few laughs, do yourself a favor and check out these lists. Also, if you find other unintentionally comedic posts on Conservapedia feel free to mention it in the comments below. I promise my next update will be sooner.