NO diner prefers a slab of black rock to a plate, chefs have been informed.

Food eater Tom Booker said: “Everything about slate is wrong. Chefs should know that I never want to eat something that looks evil.

“I think plates work really well, I like the combination of a flat clean surface with the raised edges that are vital to sauce retention.

“Best of all they do not make the noise of a dragster braking when cutlery is dragged across them.”

Chef Stephen Malley said: “Being a chef, I am a completely unreasonable human being so I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about my slates.

“I really like The Flintstones, which influences how I present my food.”