The poll numbers are crazy. The experts are confounded. Bernie Sanders, the wild-eyed socialist Senator from Vermont, has thrown this year’s Democratic primary into chaos. But how has he done it? How has a man with such offensively anti-American views become so popular among the young and the vulnerable? And why is this aging hippie radical such a threat to Hillary, Inc.?

The prospect of a Sanders presidency becomes even more preposterous once you pull back the cover on his secret agenda. Experts who have watched his candidacy closely will tell you that the yellow-fanged demagogue is plotting to jail the job creator class and criminalize our finest corporate citizens. He dreams of free college and health care handouts so the next generation can grow fat on the taxpayer’s dime! He will gut the military one minute, and dump trillions in the laps of the unions the next! He’ll bully the conservatives in Congress. He will take away State’s rights, seize our guns, make Christian freedom illegal and mandate sexual deviancy in our hometowns!

Don’t people realize that this political scheme is the precisely how you destroy American greatness? Isn’t this what leaders like Donald Trump have been telling us for ages now? Why is there such a shocking lack of common sense in the Bernie Sanders voting bloc? What could explain this surreal phenomenon?

Chemtrails for Bernie

One clue to the suspicious surge of Socialist Sanders among the American electorate may lie in the Illuminati’s Agenda 21 plan to seize control over the United States using chemtrails. Chemtrails, as has been widely studied and reported, are aerial sprays emitted from airplanes that enter the atmosphere above human habitations. There is a great deal of debate about the ultimate goal of this United Nations geo-engineering scheme, but most analysts agree that the end result is harmful to middle class lives (#MiddleClassLivesMatter). This fits neatly into Bernie Sanders’ own plot to destroy the middle class with sex and hardcore socialism.

The most common side effect of chemtrails is so-called, “brain fog.” In essence, this means limited mental capacity and may be caused by the radiated nano-particles raining down from the skies. Once they enter our bloodstreams, they gob up the reasoning centers of the brain, making it harder and harder for some Americans to grasp basic political concepts. Any psychologist will tell you that when someone is impaired like this, they’re vulnerable to all sorts of fantasies and false promises. Naturally, populations suffering from chemtrail exposure can fall prey to a megalomaniacal politician hell-bent on stealing American faith and freedom. The fanged usurper may offer the sudden rush of free government entitlements, but when the high wears off the voter will realize he’s signed up for a lifetime of slavery under Bernie’s system of globalist socialism.

All this begs the question, where is the United Nations spraying their noxious chemtrails these days? The answer should come as no surprise. Over the last ten months, citizen journalists across the internet have reported Illuminati geo-engineering efforts in important voting areas. This aerial spraying has been concentrated in places that are either solidly liberal (metropolitan areas) or suburban/rural districts where swing voters are located. Of course, sightings in Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina fall into this category (as do Utah, Tennessee and California.)

The Rape of American Patriotism

Upon closer inspection, it appears that Bernie Sander’s political ambitions are wholly in line with the global elite’s plot to control our lives. Sanders envisions a government that rules over us from cradle to grave, from childcare to free college to federally-protected lifetime employment.

With such dependency, our nation’s entrepreneurial spirit dies. We will lose our sovereignty. Our dignity will be gone. The United States will become a grim hellscape of open borders and multiracial communist collectives. Without America’s watchful military, the planet will become a free-for-all for the worst apocalyptic scenarios (and yes, they are rather dire).

Could this all just be outlandish speculation? There is always the possibility that the public has misinterpreted the chemtrails evidence. There is always the possibility that political experts are misunderstanding Bernie Sander’s very own statements. But for such things to be true, we would have to turn a blind eye to thousands of blogs, tweets and impassioned cries from ordinary citizens who are really outraged right now. Does that even make sense?

Finally, what does the impressive support of Donald Trump among patriotic Americans prove but that we as a nation are pissed off at being lied to by charlatan politicians who want to surrender our hard-earned greatness to the international schemes of the United Nations’ deep state of globalist elitists who fear the soul of the American heartland so much that they’ve sent Bernie Sanders and his Chinese handlers to destroy us because we, yes we, are the very last thing keeping the world safe from intergalactic Illuminati reptilian rape and pillage?