The reason why people envy other language learners? They see other people making extraordinary claims such as achieving a high level in many languages while putting in little work. The reason why they want to reach a high level in many languages? To communicate with more people. The reason why they want to talk to more people? To get more validation. The envy for other language learners almost always comes down to the need for validation.

On the other hand we don’t envy people who put in tens of thousands of hours into language learning over a few decades. The polyglot who is truly passionate about their language learning doesn’t care about impressing other people. They are too busy studying and maintaining their languages to really care about showing off. Because they are not earning a lot of validation even though they put in a lot of work, we don’t feel that their achievements were obtained unfairly and we don’t feel that they are stealing validation from us. That is why we admire these polylgots.

The problem isn’t that people would brag about their abilities. The real problem is our reaction to it.

Polygloats and validation

When a polyglot is getting praise despite having low language ability, it often triggers serious language learners because the language learner feels that they put in more work than the fake polyglot, but the polyglot is getting more praise. Here is a harsh truth that I have learned:

Someone might receive more praise than you even though they are worse than you at a language, but it almost never matters in the long run.

The problem is that we crave validation. Since language learning is itself a difficult endeavor, anyone serious knows that they have to do more work than memorize a few phrases and always force the conversation to be limited to a few topics. We feel wronged when someone does little work but gets more validation than us. This causes us to criticise the polyglot for being a charlatan and try to point out examples where they mispronounced a word, used incorrect grammar, etc. After doing so, we pat ourselves on the back and continue this cycle when a new polyglot shows up.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, validation doesn’t matter in the long run. By spending time trying to find a polyglot’s flaws, you are wasting valuable time that could be used to improve yourself. The best solution is to acknowledge that the polyglot can speak the language to some degree and forget about them. Even though it goes against our natural instinct, I have found that it is an extremely useful life skill.

Your time is limited and it shouldn’t be wasted on someone who just wants to feed their ego. Anyone who gloats about their language ability is falling for the curse of validation. Let them chase their validation no matter how empty of a path it leads to. There is no benefit from bashing polyglots other than feeling good in the moment for putting others down.

Where to find good language learners

Instead of focusing negatively on polygloats, you should look for positive examples of people who are interesting and dedicated to some mission. Another harsh truth is that the polyglots with the strongest language ability often don’t like to show off. Here are some signs:

When asked for how many languages are you fluent in, the best polyglots will lie down saying they know only 2-3 languages, knowing how difficult it is to reach a high level. The rest will lie up, claiming fluency even at a beginner level. A skilled polyglot will admit when they are reading off a script. Most polyglots would rather not admit this, for it lowers their perceived ability, even if they only had a little to begin with.

Look for language learners who believe that speaking is about getting your message across as clearly and precisely as possible. They are hard to find because they don’t spend as much time trying to lure visitors with clickbait titles and inflating their language ability. They usually have dynamic personalities because they don’t make uninteresting videos that involve a limited number of topics with a limited vocabulary, almost always about language learning or mundane personal history. These types of people might not even identify as polyglots or language learners because they are fully aware that languages are a tool and not some badge to share with others.

One good example is Dogen. Unlike a lot of Japanese learners, Dogen tries to make entertaining videos about life in Japan without trying to impress people with his Japanese ability. When you watch his videos, you might not even realize that he is using a foreign language. He is simply communicating his ideas in a clear way and he is doing a successful job.

If you wish to build a great understanding of the language, you must pursue the difficult and relish the pain of challenge. You will be seeing other language learners earning lots of validation while you are grinding and sharpening your skills. Every year, you should look back at yourself and ask whether you’ve improved. If you didn’t improve significantly, you will only stagnate, although you may find joy in your comfortable monotony.

Conclusion

The next time you see a language learner bragging about their ability, resist the urge to criticise them for their poor ability. If you want to improve your communication abilities, seek out people who are focused on delivering their message well. They might not identify as language learners but you can be assured that they are advanced in speaking.