Dear Santa you remember me? it’s Mia, when I was 3 I wanted the ride on sheep to play with in the yard, it was cool thanks but dad drove over it the day after xmas when he was drunk and had just beat mom and I wanted My brother to stop touching me there.

When I was 5 I wanted a train set but dad sold it for booze, and I still wanted my brother to stop but now he was doing other things and it hurt.

When I was 6 I wanted dad dead so mum wouldn’t cry and spend so much time in hospital, and I wanted my brother to go to the hell the preacher talked about for people who hurt gods children, but then the preacher touched me too at Sunday school camp ,was it wrong to wish bad things for a priest?.

By 7 I didn’t believe in god, baby Jesus or you Santa anymore, because the pain never stops, the toys never come and momma still cries.

Now I’m big Santa, actually I’m a grandma , I don’t want anything for me I’m in a wheelchair these days and my brother stopped raping me after 10 years and my father broke mommas arms and never came back ,was that you?.

I have a gran baby now, I’ll never meet her because of a divorce so I can’t protect her from monsters she is across the world. If you’re real can you watch her.

I’m in a wheelchair as I said, and my wife works hard and then she looks after me, when I close my eyes I have nightmares of when I was little and still hoped you’re real. So if I can be a little girl in my nightmares perhaps you can exist again during my day. As I said I don’t want much just less pain, but look after the kids that can’t ask for themselves anymore because they’re afraid to speak incase the monster finds out where they’re hiding thankyou Santa. Mia.

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