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In this episode, the Haggler departs from his usual letter-and-intervention format to tell the story of a stock trade gone wrong. The matter does not require the Haggler’s usual burst of nervy, superheroic derring-do because it has already been resolved, in the consumer’s favor, through arbitration. But the tale is interesting and potentially has wide ramifications. And, anyway, the Haggler doesn’t need to be the star of every single one of these columns.

That’s a joke. Of course the Haggler needs to be star of every one of these columns! It’s pathetic. But the Haggler can make room for a second star in this particular column, even if grudgingly.

The tale starts on Sept. 7, 2012. David de Groot, who works as a tech support guy — a.k.a. a genius — at an Apple Store in San Francisco, calls E*Trade to sell five shares of Apple stock. He uses E*Trade’s I.V.R., or interactive voice response system.