



Sam & Bunny Sewell

By Warren Farrell, Ph.D.

----------------------------------------------------------------- . DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Battered Men - The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence Domestic Violence Against Men

. Science, Politics, and Domestic Violence

. News Clips

. Women Abuse Men: It's More Widespread Than People Think

. Claims of husband-beating gain prominence

. Domestic abuse: It's not always his fault

. Citations for scientific studies of domestic violence

. Sample of e-mail responses to our National Domestic Violence Education Project ----------------------------------------------------------------- Just as bad cases make bad laws, so can celebrity cases reinforce old myths. The biggest myth the O.J. Simpson case is likely to reinforce is the myth that domestic violence is a one way street (male-to-female), and its corollary, that male violence against women is an outgrowth of masculinity.



When I began seven years of research into these issues in preparation for "The Myth of Male Power", I began with these two assumptions since I had been the only man in the United States to have been elected three times to the Board of Directors of the National Organization of Women in New York City, and these assumptions went unquestioned in feminist circles.



My first finding - - that in the U.S. and Canada more than 90% of the domestic violence reports to the police were by women, not men - seemed to confirm these assumptions. But, then the picture became more complex.



About a dozen studies in the U.S. and Canada asked BOTH sexes how often they hit each other, all of them found that women hit men either more frequently or about as often as the reverse.



Two of the main studies - - by Suzanne Steinmetz, Murray Straus and Richard Gelles - - assumed men hit women more severely, so they divided domestic violence into seven different levels of severity. They were surprised to discover that, overall, the more severe levels of violence were conducted more by women against men.



A caveat, though. Men hitting women did more damage than the reverse. However, this caveat carried its own caveat: it was exactly because men's hits hurt more that women resorted to more severe methods (i.e. tossing boiling water over her husband or swinging a frying pan into his face). These findings were supported by the Census Bureau's own survey:



As early as 1977, the U.S. Census Bureau conducted the National Crime Survey, surveying 60,000 households every six months for three and one half years. They found women use weapons against men 82% of the time; men use weapons against women 25% of the time. Overall, they found that even the women acknowledged they hit men more than men hit women.



The key issue, though, is who initiates this cycle of violence. Steinmetz, Strauss and Gelles found to their initial surprise that women are more likely to be the first initiators. Why? In part,the belief that men can take it - - they can therefore be a punching bag and not be expected to hit back.



I was still a bit incredulous. I asked thousands of men and women in my workshops to count all the relationships in which they had hit their partner before their partner had ever it them. and vice versa. About 60% of the women acknowledged they had more often been the first to strike a blow: among the men, about 90% felt their female partner had been the first to strike a blow.



I still felt violence was an out growth of masculinity. I was half right. Men are responsible for most of the violence which occurs outside the home. However, when 54% of women in lesbian relationships acknowledge violence in their current relationship, vs. only 11% of heterosexual couples reporting violence, I realized that domestic violence is not an outgrowth of male biology.



Why do we vigorously denounce domestic violence against women and not even know about domestic violence against men?



Women Abuse Men: It's More Widespread Than People Think



Excerpt from Special supplement to The Washington Post, December 28, 1993 By Armin A. Brott. M.D.



"Despite all the evidence about female-on-male violence, many groups actively try to suppress coverage of the issue. Steinmetz received verbal threats and anonymous phone calls from radical women's groups threatening to harm her children after she published "The Battered Husband Syndrome" in 1978. She says she finds it ironic that the same people who claim that women- initiated violence is purely self defense are so quick to threaten violence against people who do nothing more than publish a scientific study. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Battered Men - The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence Domestic Violence Against Men

Source http://www3.sympatico.ca/kirwood/dv.htm



"While a discussion of same-sex harassment occasioned expressions of fear about inciting homophobia, there were no such concerns about promoting "hetero phobia" -- which is defined as antagonism toward men and heterosexuality. Yet such an animus is behind much of the recent effort to stamp out sexual harassment."



1 in 27000 men (in Canada) are murder victims whereas only 1 in 67,000 women are murder victims. The source of these1992 figures is StatsCan



Men are also victims of prostate cancer at twice the rate that women are of breast cancer.



Children are killed maimed and abused by their mothers at many times the rates that men abuse or hurt children.



Women who kill men stand little chance of being convicted and less chance of serving any full term imposed. Men get 25 years to life as the norm. Women get 10 years or less for murder usually because they claim abuse.



Who's the culprit? Who's the victim? What's the solution?

"It ain't what ya don't know that hurts ya.

What really puts a hurtin' on ya is what ya

knows for sure, that just ain't so."

Uncle Remus



A Special Report by: Revs. Sam and Bunny Sewell,

Co-Directors of the Best Self Clinic

with a huge thanks to the many people who helped compile the data. Science, Politics, and Domestic Violence

Why This Report Was Sent To You



We are sending this report to the media, and those persons and agencies who deal with domestic violence, in the hope that we can correct a serious misunderstanding about this very important issue.



We want to make it clear that we have been working to end domestic violence for over a decade. One of us is an original incorporator of our local abuse shelter. We were members of the "Century Club"; those who contribute over $100 annually to the local women's shelter. We have sponsored benefit events for our local abuse shelter. Since we began publishing this report the local women's shelter has returned our contributions. Much of the women's shelter movement is seriously misinformed about the causes and scope of the domestic violence problem. We were also seriously misinformed.



This misunderstanding of the domestic violence issue is so pervasive that city and county governments, the courts, law enforcement, prosecutor's offices, mental health clinics, and other tax supported agencies are now funding programs based on feminist propaganda rather than responsible scientific studies. These scientific studies reveal a startlingly different picture of the problem. The following is a summary of domestic violence research done by well established social scientists. Please, help get this important research on the subject of domestic violence to the public.

The Feminist View of Domestic Violence Vs Scientific Studies



One of the widely believed myths of our society is that domestic violence is something men do to women. Solid scientific research reveals that domestic violence is something women do to men more frequently than men do it to women. While it is true that men account for most violence outside the home, women instigate most domestic violence and they assault men more frequently and more severely.



The Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, under grants from the National Institute of Mental Health, has released the last of three national studies on domestic violence. The first two studies (1975 and 1985) revealed results similar to the latest study. The original national survey was done in 1975. Several research papers were published as a result of it. In 1980 the study results were made available to the general public in a book called, Behind Closed Doors: Violence In The American Family (Anchor Press, Garden City, NY). In 1985 Straus and Gelles completed and published a follow up study, which was published in Journal Of Marriage and the Family.. In 1992 a third follow up study was completed by Murray A. Straus and Glenda Kaufman Kantor. The study was presented at 13th World Congress of Sociology.



Comparative data for the three national studies as rate per 1,000 couples: MINOR VIOLENT ACTS: SEVERE VIOLENT ACTS:



1. Threw something 1. Kicked/bit/hit with fist

2. Pushed/Grabbed/Shoved 2. Hit, tried to hit with something

3. Slapped or spanked 3. Beat up

4. Threatened with gun or knife

5. Used gun or knife



Minor Assaults:

Year Assault by husband Assault by wife

1975 98 98

1985 82 75

1992 92 94



Severe Assaults

1975 38 47

1985 30 43

1992 19 44



*Table prepared using data from "Change In Spouse Assault Rates From 1975 to 1992: A Comparison of Three National Surveys In The United States", by Murray A. Straus and Glenda Kaufman Kantor.



Thousands of couples were involved in these studies. The conclusions are based on more than 20 years of research. For the average of reports by both males and females: Husband on wife severe assault occurred at a rate of 2.0%, whereas wife on husband severe assault occurred at a rate of 4.6%. and Husband on wife minor assault occurred at a rate of 9.9%, whereas wife on husband assault occurred at a rate of 9.5%.



The average results of all three studies in the "severe assault" category, are reported below: Wives report they have been severely assaulted by husband

22 per 1000



Wives report they have severely assaulted husband

59 per 1000



Husbands report they have been severely assaulted by wives

32 per 1000



Husbands report they have severely assaulted wives

18 per 1000



Husbands & wives both report wife has been assaulted

20 per 1000



Husbands & wives both report husband has been assaulted

44 per 1000



There are dozens of other studies that reveal similar findings. For instance: women are three times more likely than men to use weapons in domestic violence. Women initiate most incidents of domestic violence. Women commit most child abuse and most elder abuse. Women hit their male children more frequently and more severely that they hit their female children. Women commit most child murders and 64% of their victims are male children. When women murder adults the majority of their victims are men. Women commit 50% of spousal murders. Eighty two percent of all people have their first experience of violence at the hands of a women. Law Enforcement Statistics Do Not Define The Problem.



There is much confusion about whom to believe in the debate about domestic violence. On one side we have women's shelter advocates and feminists who rely on law enforcement statistics. On the other side we have social scientists who rely on scientifically structured studies. Unfortunately, the results of scientific studies do not receive media attention. America's press is seemingly more interested in political correctness than scientific accuracy. Therefore, the public perception, and the perception of many well intentioned domestic violence activists, is radically skewed away from the more balanced perception of social scientists.



Many abuse shelter personnel are unaware of the scientific studies even though they claim to be "domestic violence experts" and often conduct "training" sessions for government agencies. How could someone be an expert without awareness of the scientific studies in their field? There are towns and cities in our country where the entire legal establishment; law enforcement, family law attorneys, and judges are making decisions about domestic violence based on political propaganda rather than well established research.



The typical response of the abuse shelter feminists upon first hearing the results of the scientific studies is to "shoot the messenger". You can almost hear their minds snap closed. There is an almost cult like "party line" among victim advocates. Much of the belief system of their "cult" has no scientific or rational basis. On the other hand, some abuse shelter personnel have not accepted the feminist "party line". They are eager to have accurate information upon which to plan and implement rational programs for prevention, intervention, and treatment for abusers and their victims. Are the domestic violence "experts" in your community aware of the scientific studies? What is happening at the abuse shelter in your community? Domestic Violence in Other Countries



We think it is important to note that there have been the same kind of studies done in many countries. There is cross cultural verification that women are more violent than men in domestic settings. When behavior has cross cultural verification it means that it is part of human nature rather than a result of cultural conditioning. Females are most often the perpetrators in domestic violence in all cultures that have been studied so far. That leads many professionals to conclude that there is something biological about violent females in family situations. Researchers are now exploring the role of the "territorial imperative" as a factor in women's violence against men. Women see the home as their territory. Like many other species on the planet, we humans will ignore size difference when we experience conflict on our own territory. So, the scientific results that reveal the violence of American women are not unique to our culture, and do not indicate a special pathology among American women. World wide, women are more violent than men in domestic settings.



One of the leading researchers in this field is Susan Steinmetz, Ph.D. Here is the list of studies of other cultures Steinmetz has done: A

cross-cultural comparison of marital abuse. Journal of Sociology, and Social Welfare, 8, 404-414. Married couples from 9 different cultures. .1: Finland, n=44; .2:Puerto Rico, n=82; .3:British Honduras(all), n=231; .4:B.H., Spanish speaking, n=103; .5:B.H., Creole, n=79; .6:B.H., carib, n=37; .7:USA, n=94;.8:Canada, n=52; .9:Israel(all), n=127; .10:Israel Kibbutz, n=63;.11:Israel, city, n=64.



Below is a summary of the most recent and significant studies we could find about domestic violence in Canada. There were two waves of data collection. The first was done in 1990 the second was finished in 1992. This study was done by "Ms." Reena Sommer, Ph.D. a research associate with the Manitoba Centre for Health Policy and Evaluation. We emphasize the "Ms" to call attention to the fact that scientific studies of DV include female social scientists. It has been argued that scientific studies contain a gender bias against women, as if all scientists are male. In this field many of the leading experts are women. Female vs. male perpetrated violence as a percentage of all respondents:

Minor Violence

% of females % of males



threw an object (not at partner)

23.6 15.8

threaten to throw object

14.9 7.3

threw object at partner

16.2 4.6

pushed, or grabbed

19.8 17.2



Severe Violence

slapped, punched, kicked

15.8 7.3

used weapon

3.1 0.9

Violence as self defense

9.9 14.8

Alcohol factor

8.0 16.0

My partner needed medical help

14.3 21.4

Overall Violence

39.1 26.3 Another survey of couples in Canada found that the rate of severe husband-to-wife violence was 4.8%, while severe wife-to-husband violence was 10%. Brinkerhoff & Lupri, Canadian Journal of Sociology, (1989) The Propaganda Problem and the Scientific Solution

Abuse shelter advocates and feminists have severely distorted the DV picture and deliberately produce fraudulent statistics and dis-information. Even when they quote well grounded statistics, they misuse the information. Here is an example: One of the favorite statistics quoted by abuse shelter advocates is that a women is the victim of domestic violence every 15 seconds. This statistic is deduced from a well conducted piece of research which was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, a respected professional journal for marriage and family therapists. The Abuse Shelter advocates arrived at this figure by using one of the conclusions of the study, i.e.; 1.8 million women suffer an assault from a husband or boyfriend per year. What abuse shelter advocates always ignore is another finding of the same study, i.e.; 2 million men are assaulted by a wife or girl friend per year, which translates as, a man is the victim of domestic violence every 14 seconds. This is typical of the wide spread deception practiced by abuse shelter advocates. America's press establishment is a party to this deception and shares the blame for exacerbating the DV problem by perpetuating a false diagnosis. Acknowledging that women are abusers leads to better solutions.

Women usually initiate domestic violence episodes (they hit first), and women hit more frequently, as well as using weapons three times more often then men. This combination of violent acts means that the efforts of finding solutions to the domestic violence problem need to focus on female perpetrators. We need to recognize that women are violent, and we need nationwide educational programs that emphasize the women's role as perpetrators. Other studies show that men are becoming less violent at the same time that women are becoming more violent. Educating men seems to be working. Educating women to be less violent should now be the main thrust of public education programs.



Any domestic violence program which accepts the "male abuser - female victim" paradigm is based on a false premise. These kind of domestic violence programs actually perpetuate the problem of domestic abuse and do not deserve to be supported by private citizens or government agencies. Many government agencies, and legitimate charities, have been funding a feminist political cause, rather than funding rational, solution focused, domestic violence prevention programs. What kind of domestic violence prevention program do you have in your community? Does your local program encourage the healing of families, or do they take the "divorce" approach? Does the domestic violence prevention program in your community devote as much attention to violent females, as it does to violent males? If not, why not?



Let us quote from a book on the subject by McNeely, R.L.. and

Robinson-Simpson, G. "The Truth about Domestic Violence: A Falsely Framed Issue" : "Yet, while repeated studies consistently show that men are victims of domestic violence at least as often as are women, both the lay public and many professionals regard a finding of no sex difference in rates of physical aggression among intimates as surprising, if not unreliable, the stereotype being that men are aggressive and women are exclusively victims." The feminist view of domestic violence is part of the problem. The media boycott of news about the scientific studies is part of the problem. The scientific view gives us hope for solution. Please do your part to share this very important information with your community.



Thank you very much for your attention to this important issue.



Please make and share copies of this report.

Sam & Bunny Sewell News Clips Below, are some exceptions to the usual media silence on science based stories about DV.



USA Today June 29, 1994 Spouse Abuse a Two-Way Street

By Warren Farrell, Ph.D.



Just as bad cases make bad laws, so can celebrity cases reinforce old myths. The biggest myth the O.J. Simpson case is likely to reinforce is the myth that domestic violence is a one way street (male-to-female), and its corollary, that male violence against women is an outgrowth of masculinity.



When I began seven years of research into these issues in preparation for "The Myth of Male Power", I began with these two assumptions since I had been the only man in the United States to have been elected three times to the Board of Directors of the National Organization of Women in New York City, and these assumptions went unquestioned in feminist circles.



My first finding - - that in the U.S. and Canada more than 90% of the domestic violence reports to the police were by women, not men - seemed to confirm these assumptions. But, then the picture became more complex.



About a dozen studies in the U.S. and Canada asked BOTH sexes how often they hit each other, all of them found that women hit men either more frequently or about as often as the reverse.



Two of the main studies - - by Suzanne Steinmetz, Murray Straus and Richard Gelles - - assumed men hit women more severely, so they divided domestic violence into seven different levels of severity. They were surprised to discover that, overall, the more severe levels of violence were conducted more by women against men.



A caveat, though. Men hitting women did more damage than the reverse. However, this caveat carried its own caveat: it was exactly because men's hits hurt more that women resorted to more severe methods (i.e. tossing boiling water over her husband or swinging a frying pan into his face). These findings were supported by the Census Bureau's own survey:



As early as 1977, the U.S. Census Bureau conducted the National Crime Survey, surveying 60,000 households every six months for three and one half years. They found women use weapons against men 82% of the time; men use weapons against women 25% of the time. Overall, they found that even the women acknowledged they hit men more than men hit women.



The key issue, though, is who initiates this cycle of violence. Steinmetz, Strauss and Gelles found to their initial surprise that women are more likely to be the first initiators. Why? In part,the belief that men can take it - - they can therefore be a punching bag and not be expected to hit back.



I was still a bit incredulous. I asked thousands of men and women in my workshops to count all the relationships in which they had hit their partner before their partner had ever it them and vice versa. About 60% of the women acknowledged they had more often been the first to strike a blow: among the men, about 90% felt their female partner had been the first to strike a blow.



I still felt violence was an out growth of masculinity. I was half right. Men are responsible for most of the violence which occurs outside the home. However, when 54% of women in lesbian relationships acknowledge violence in their current relationship, vs. only 11% of heterosexual couples reporting violence, I realized that domestic violence is not an outgrowth of male biology.



Why do we vigorously denounce domestic violence against women and not even know about domestic violence against men? Women Abuse Men:

It's More Widespread Than People Think



Excerpt from Special supplement to The Washington Post,

December 28, 1993

By Armin A. Brott. M.D.



"Despite all the evidence about female-on-male violence, many groups actively try to suppress coverage of the issue. Steinmetz received verbal threats and anonymous phone calls from radical women's groups threatening to harm her children after she published "The Battered Husband Syndrome" in 1978. She says she finds it ironic that the same people who claim that women- initiated violence is purely self defense are so quick to threaten violence against people who do nothing more than publish a scientific study.



Steinmetz's story is not unique. Ten years after that study, R.L. McNeely, a professor at the School of Social Welfare at the University of Wisconsin, and Gloria Robinson-Simpson published "The Truth About Domestic Violence: A Falsely Framed Issue." The article examined various studies on domestic violence and concluded that society must recognize that men are victims "or we will be addressing only part of the phenomenon."



Shortly thereafter, McNeely received letters from a Pennsylvania women's organization threatening to use its influence in Washington to pull his research funding. Robinson-Simpson,who uncovered some of the most important data, largely was left alone. According to McNeely, "she, a young assistant professor, was assumed to have been 'duped" by the senior male professor." (end quote) Researcher Claims Abuse Shelter Advocates

Make the Problem Worse

Washington Times Jan 31, 1994

Section A, Joyce Price



Murray A. Straus, a sociologist and co-director for the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, blames "women in the battered [women's] shelter movement" for denying that women physically abuse husbands, ex-husbands and boyfriends, or playing down such abuse. "There's this fiction in the shelter movement that in all cases, it's him, not her" who's responsible for domestic assaults", Mr. Straus said in a recent interview.



Mr. Straus said at least 30 studies of domestic violence - including some he 's conducted - have shown both sexes to be equally culpable. But he said some of the research, such as a recent Canadian national survey, "left out data on women abusing men ... because it's politically embarrassing." Women and men "are almost identical" in terms of the frequency of attacks such as slapping, shoving, and kicking, Mr. Straus said.



Using information on married couples obtained from 2,994 women in the 1985 National Family Violence Survey, Mr. Straus said he found a rate for assaults by wives of 124 per 1,000 couples, compared with 122 per 1,000 for assaults by husbands.



The rate of minor assaults by wives was 78 per 1,000 couples, and the rate of minor assaults by husbands was 72 per 1,000, he said. For the category of severe assaults, he said, the rate was 46 per 1,000 couples for assaults by wives and 50 per 1,000 for assaults by husbands. "Neither difference is statistically different,"* Mr. Straus wrote in the journal Issues in Definition and Measurement. "As these rates are based exclusively on information provided by women respondents, the near equality in assault rates cannot be attributed to a gender bias in reporting." (end quote)



*Dr. Straus's statistics do not reflect the latest study done by the Family Research Laboratory. Claims of husband-beating gain prominence

by Alice Lovejoy - Brown University October 1997



October 1 marks the beginning of Domestic Abuse Awareness Month. Though most people believe this issue to be one-sided, there are forces at work attempting to modify common perceptions of domestic abuse. Armed with scientific data and polls, a select group of private individuals, as well as publicly funded researchers, purport that men are the victims of physical domestic abuse at rates equal to or even greater than women. For every Wilfredo Cordero, the Boston Red Sox player recently accused of assaulting his wife, these factions claim there is a woman somewhere slapping her husband.



Sam and Bunny Sewell



Two main proponents of this uncharted attitude towards domestic abuse are Sam and Bunny Sewell. The couple, from Naples, Florida, runs the "Best Self Clinic," a group which provides counseling to couples. In the course of their work, the Sewells found an unusually large number of cases in which domestic violence was initiated by women. The couple, in the clinic's web page, explores the distinction between "LOVE" ("non-possessive and admiring") and "love" (a kind of attachment which denotes a "lack of emotional self-sufficiency"). In relation to their concept of "LOVE" as a solution to domestic problems, and in support of the idea that violence in relationships must stem from a lack of "LOVE," the Sewells have attempted to publicize the supposedly forgotten half of domestic abuse, that directed by women against men.



Sam and Bunny, in a mass e-mailing to various news organizations, quote Change in Spouse Abuse Rates from 1975 to 1992: A Comparison of Three National Surveys, a study by Murray A. Straus and Glenda Kaufman Kantor of the University of New Hampshire's Family Research Laboratory. The study found that, per 1,000 couples, 92 reported minor assaults such as pushing, grabbing and slapping, by the husband. Surprisingly, though, the study reported a rate of 94 minor assaults by the wife. 19 couples reported severe assaults such as kicking, biting, punching, or using a gun or knife, by the husband. Yet 44 couples reported severe assault by the wife, meaning that women are perpetrators of the crime at more than twice the rate of their male counterparts.



"The Men's Issues Page" quotes a 1989 study in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, "Prevalence and Stability of Physical Aggression Between Spouses" that found that women were, overall, more often the aggressor in relationships than men. In unmarried couples, 31.2% of men and 44.4% of women had engaged in aggressive behavior. After eighteen months of marriage, these statistics changed to 26.8% of men and 35.9% of women. After twenty months of marriage, the numbers decreased to 24.6% and 32.2%, but maintained the notable discrepancy. Further, this study found that "the lower rates of overall aggression for men were not offset by higher rates of more severe type of aggression." The same page uses a third study, The Marriage License as Hitting License: A Comparison of Assaults in Dating, Cohabiting and Married Couples which states similar findings showing that women are more often the aggressor in a marriage. Lash or backlash



In contrast to the vocal advocacy for battered women, claims that men are often the victims of domestic abuse are likely to be dismissed as a mere backlash against today's "politically-correct" sensibilities. Yet the data about husband-beating is, to a large degree, valid. Murray Straus verified the statistics from his report printed by "Sam and Bunny" and Richard Gelles of the University of Rhode Island and author of Intimate Violence and other studies, also validated the statistics used by matching it to previous research.



In fact, Gelles' most recent research supported his earlier data in finding that, in a quarter of domestic relationships, violence is exclusively male against female. In a second quarter of these relationships, violence is exclusively female against male. In the remaining half, violence is bi-directional, with an equal likelihood of initiation from either men or women. Yet anecdotal evidence on the part of women's groups and police blotters suggests that the numerous studies detailing female violence are wrong or exaggerated. Domestic violence advocacy groups claim that most violence by women against men can be explained by examining the context of the violence; that it is, to a large degree, in reaction to violence or threats that women use violence against their spouse or partner. Deb de Bare, of the Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence, stated "from our perspective, research is often misleading. This is an example of exactly that. Research might interpret the number of times someone was hit, but may not get the context. Women might react and slap, and the research would document that as abuse. The reality that we see is that well over ninety percent of cases of domestic violence involve women as victims. We see domestic abuse as the whole pattern of behavior in an abusive relationship."



Gelles would argue, however, that women's violence cannot be attributed to only self-defense in such a large percentage of cases. Domestic violence, like any form of abuse, is often a learned behavior. Victims of child abuse are more likely to abuse both their own children and their spouse or partner. Violence, to victims of abuse, is a way of expressing anger, which becomes a normalized means to interact with one's partner. This is not to undermine the number of cases in which violence is a direct reaction to threats or aggression; these cases address an issue critical in the problem of violent relationships in general.



Looking in the mirror



The difficulty in assigning blame for domestic violence is evident in Gelles ' study of unmarried college-age heterosexual couples. In these

relationships, violence is perfectly symmetrical between men and women. Gelles termed these "modern aggressive relationships": anger is translated as verbal or physical abuse. Though these relationships are just as violent as "traditional" cases of domestic violence, they receive little attention; abuse has become an accepted part of relationships between men and women of this age group. The violence of this particular portion of abuse came to the fore recently when last month a woman at the University of Michigan was killed by her own boyfriend, stabbed repeatedly by a kitchen knife. Claiming that "nobody wants to present the balanced view," Gelles is dismayed that statistical 'facts' are ceaselessly debated over while the victims of abuse gain little. Rhode Island, for instance, has standards for treating victims of domestic abuse which dictate a certain number of weeks for treatment, as well as a standardized and specific treatment content. In Gelles' opinion, these standards are "guaranteed to be ineffective" because they do not examine specific cases or situations of abuse. Thus, individuals with violent childhood experiences, though "treated", return to relationships only to maintain a previous pattern of abuse.



Proponents of the husband-beating statistics see identity politics as an impediment to the eradication of violence in the home. Sam Sewell asserted that "a solution to [the domestic violence] problem requires that gender politics be excluded." Gelles agreed, arguing that the only remedy to domestic abuse will come when advocates use "informed scientific judgment" to determine treatment standards, and when the focus of the domestic violence debate shifts from a search for the "real" victims to a search for a solution. Domestic abuse: It's not always his fault

Scripps Howard News Service 8/18/97

by Betsy Hart



Not long ago members of Virginia?s General Assembly considered a bill meant to keep husbands from abusing their wives: putting a warning label at the top of marriage licenses! It didn't?t get far. (Possibly calmer heads prevailed and pointed out that it?s non marital relationships that are a major risk factor for abuse.)



Still, this attempt highlights the prevailing notion in domestic violence circles that "it's always his fault." That, in fact, is the title of the cover article in the summer issue of "The Women's Quarterly, " published by the Independent Women's Forum, an increasingly high-profile group that's kind of an antidote to the National Organization for Women.



Author Sally L. Satel, psychiatrist and Yale medical school lecturer, shows how accepted Gloria Steinem?s assertion that "the patriarchy requires violence in order to maintain itself" has become. I.e., abusive men aren't?t criminals, or drunks, or particularly troubled people some of whom may be redeemed. They are just men.



The Chicago Metropolitan Battered Women's Network explains: "Battery is a fulfillment of cultural expectation, not a defiant or sick behavior." This view pervades the activist groups dealing with this issue, and the bureaucracies that fund them with federal dollars.



Today a dozen states basically preclude treatment other than feminist therapy of domestic batterers, Satel notes, and more are following. Forget joint counseling when appropriate and desired-involving the batterer's mate in treatment amounts to "blaming the victim ."



That despite the fact that many abuse experts unhindered by feminist blinders recognize abuse is often part of a "dance of mutual destructiveness" as psychologist Judith Shervin writes. And that women initiate violence in cohabiting relationships as often as men (often using weapons to make up for physical differences) according to leading abuse researchers-widely respected across philosophical lines - Richard Gelles and Murray Straus.



No matter. "Don," a college administrator arrested for once slapping his wife (they are still together) was required to attend a typical "abuse" program. Every week "the message was clear," Don told Satel. "Whatever she does to you is your fault, whatever you do to her is your fault. It would have been a lot more helpful if they taught us to recognize when we felt ourselves being driven into a position where we lash out. The message should have been "recognize it, deal with it, and quit hitting." All Don got was guilt about his maleness.



Hand in hand with this agenda are feminist backed "must arrest" and similar legal policies which exist in hundreds of jurisdictions. These require police to arrest one partner-almost always the man-when called to a domestic dispute. Even when things have completely cooled down, there was no hitting, and the woman doesn't?t want the man arrested.



Common "no-drop" polices do not allow a woman to drop abuse charges once they're filed, even if her motive was anger, not fear. In California, it is mandatory for judges to issue a restraining order separating the parties in all domestic violence cases.



Such practices treat women like children, and ensure that if couples stay together-and most in fact do-nothing really changes, Satel writes, though the woman might mistakenly. and dangerously be led to believe it has. While there is virtually no convincing data that this feminist approach to male violence is effective, Satel notes, several respected studies suggest that these typical legal practices can escalate spousal violence in some men by further enraging them.



The goal of these feminist treatments and legal responses Satel says, is to separate women from their abusive partner -no matter what the circumstances, and no matter how fervently the women wish otherwise.



These "one size fits all" policies might make a bit more sense if "abuse" always meant serious, systematic violence But the feminist politicization of the term "abuse" renders it virtually meaningless.A typical check-list, this from the Westchester Coalition of Family Violence agencies, tells women that if their partner behaves in "an overprotective manner," "turns minor incidents into major arguments"



or "insults you," then "you might be abused."



Sometimes, of course, no redemption is possible and leaving, or ensuring the violent spouse is locked up (preferably for good), is the only answer. And Satel rightly notes that the feminist agenda in this area has forced law enforcement to take domestic abuse seriously.



But once again, the radical feminist agenda of "man bad woman good" has permeated the culture on an a fundamentally important issue, and once again it has done a terrible disservice to the constituency feminists are supposed to help-women.



Betsy Hart, a former White House spokesman, is a weekly commentator on MS-NBC television news. Citations for scientific studies of domestic violence Gelles, R.J. The violent home: A study of physical aggression between husbands and wives



In 1974, a study was done which compared male and female domestic violence. In that study, it was found that 47% of husbands had used physical violence on their wives, and 33% of wives had used violence on their husbands (Gelles 1974). Half of the respondents in this study were selected from either cases of domestic violence reported to the police, or those identified by the social service agency. Very few men report being assaulted by their wives. This accounts for the lowered statistic for violent females, however it would be foolish to ignore 33% of the problem even if this was the only study available. Later studies are more accurate.



Chesanow, Neil, Violence at HomeNew Woman, February 1992, pg. 96-98.



[note: this is a very interesting article, particularly so since it appeared in a women's magazine and argues that women are equally violent towards men in intimate relationships. One of the bases for Chesanow's arguments is that domestic violence among lesbian intimates is as common as domestic violence among heterosexual intimates-based on crime statistics.]



Curtis, L.A. Criminal violence: National patterns and behavior Lexington Books Lexington MA,



In 1974, a study was released showing that the number of murders of women by men (17.5% of total homicides) was about the same as the number of murders of men by women (16.4% of total homicides). This study (Curtis 1974), however, showed that men were three times as likely to assault women as vice-versa. These statistics came from police records.



Wolfgang, M. Patterns in Criminal Homicide Wiley, New York, 1958



Mercy, J.A. & Saltzman, L.E. "Fatal violence among spouses in the United States, 1976-85" American Journal of Public Health 79(5): 595-9 May 1989



Curtis's murder statistic (above study) was no big news,. In 1958, an investigation of spousal homicide between 1948 and 1952 found that 7.8% of murder victims were husbands murdered by wives, and 8% were wives murdered by husbands (Wolfgang 1958). More recently, in a study of spousal homicide in the period from 1976 to 1985, it was found that there was an overall ratio of 1.3:1.0 of murdered wives to murdered husbands, and that "Black husbands were at greater risk of spouse homicide victimization than Black wives or White spouses of either sex." (Mercy & Saltzman 1989)



Steinmetz, Suzanne K. The cycle of violence: Assertive, aggressive and abusive family interaction Praeger Press, New York, 1977



Steinmetz, Suzanne K. The Battered Husband Syndrome Victimology 2, 1977-1978



In 1977, Suzanne Steinmetz released results from several studies showing that the percentage of wives who have used physical violence is higher than the percentage of husbands, and that the wives' average violence score tended to be higher, although men were somewhat more likely to cause greater injury. She also found that women were as likely as men to initiate physical violence, and that they had similar motives for their violent acts (Steinmetz 1977-78).



Nisonoff, L. & Bitman, I Spouse Abuse: Incidence and Relationship to Selected Demographic Variables, Victimology 4, 1979, pp. 131-140



In 1979, a telephone survey was conducted in which subjects were asked about their experiences of domestic violence (Nisonoff & Bitman 1979). 15.5% of the men and 11.3% of the women reported having hit their spouse; 18.6% of the men and 12.7% of the women reported having been hit by their spouse.



Straus, M.A., Gelles, R.J., and Steinmetz, S.K. Behindclosed doors: Violence in American families, Doubleday, New York, 1980



In 1980, a team of researchers, including Steinmetz, attempted to address so me concerns about the earlier surveys (Straus, Gelles & Steinmetz, 1980). They created a nationally representative study of family violence and found that the total violence scores seemed to be about even between husbands and wives, and that wives tended to be more abusive in almost all categories except pushing and shoving.



Straus, M.A. & Gelles, R.J. "Societal change and change in family violence from 1975 to 1985 as revealed by two national surveys" Journal of Marriage and the Family 48, po. 465-479, 1986



Straus & Gelles did a follow up survey in 1985, comparing their data to a 1975 survey (Straus & Gelles 1986). They found that in that decade, domestic violence against women dropped from 12.1% of women to 11.3% while domestic violence against men rose from 11.6% to 12.1%. The rate of severely violent incidents dropped for both groups: From 3.8% to 3.0% of women victimized and from 4.6% to 4.4% for men.



Sexuality Today Newsletter "Violence in Adolescent Dating Relationships Common, New Survey Reveals" December 22, 1986



In 1986, a report appeared in Social Work, the journal of the National Association of Social Workers (Nov./Dec. 1986) on violence in adolescent dating relationships, in which it was found that girls were violent more frequently than boys.



O'Leary, K. Daniel; Arias, Ilena; Rosenbaum, Alan & Barling, Julian "Premarital Physical Aggression" State University of New York at Stony Brook & Syracuse University



Another report on premarital violence (O'Leary, et al) found that 34% of the males and 40% of the females reported engaging in some form of physical aggression against their mates in a year. 17% of women and 7% of men reported engaging in severe physical aggression. 35% of the men and 30% of the women reported having been abused.



Daly, M. & Wilson, M. "Parent-Offspring Homicides in Canada,1974-1983" Science v. 242, pp. 519-524, 1988Nagi, Saad Child Maltreatment in the United States Columbia University Press, New York,



Statistical Abstract of the United States 1987 table 277



The idea of women being violent is a hard thing for many people to believe. It goes against the stereotype of the passive and helpless female. This, in spite of the fact that women are known to be more likely than men to commit child abuse and child murder (Daly & Wilson 1988 report 54% of parent-child murders where the child is under 17 were committed by the mother in Canada between 1974 and 1983, for instance. The Statistical Abstract of the United States 1987 reports that of reported child maltreatment cases between 1980 and 1984 between 57.0% and 61.4% of these were perpetrated by the mother. Nagi 1977 found 53.1% of perpetrators were female, 21% male and 22.6% both.



Nisonoff, L. & Bitman, I "Spouse Abuse: Incidence and Relationship to Selected Demographic Variables" Victimology 4, 1979, pp. 131-140



found that men and women reported quite similar instances of violence both by them and by their partner



"The Battered Husband Syndrome" Victimology 2, 1977-1978, p. 499



Steinmetz, Suzanne K. The cycle of violence: Assertive, aggressive



and abusive family interaction Praeger Press, New York, 1977



found that wives were *more* violent than husbands. Steinmetz later left the field of domestic violence studies after alleging that infuriated feminists had made death threats against her children.



Wolfgang, M. Patterns in Criminal Homicide, Wiley, New York, 1958



Mercy, J.A. & Saltzman, L.E. "Fatal violence among spouses in the United States, 1976-85" American Journal of Public Health 79(5):595-9 May 1989



Two studies, 30 years apart, showing that on average wives kill husbands at a similar rate to that at which husbands kill wives.



Straus, Murray, Gelles, R.J., and Steinmetz, S.K. Behind closed doors: Violence in American families, Doubleday, New York, 1980



addressed earlier methodological problems, shows spousal abuse to be almost gender-neutral in almost all categories of violence.



Straus, Murray" & Gelles, R.J. "Societal change and change in family violence from 1975 to 1985 as revealed by two national surveys" Journal of Marriage and the Family 48, po. 465-479, 1986 shows that domestic violence by women is increasing and violence by men is decreasing. A more recent study, reported at a conference by Straus, shows the trend is continuing



Jurik & Gregware 1989 and Mann 1990.



You will find that much fewer than half the female murderers have history of being beaten. Most women who murder their husbands are impulsive, violent, and have criminal records. Jurik (1989) and Jurik and Gregware's (1989) investigation of 24 cases in which women killed husbands or lovers found that the victim initiated use of physical forces in (40%) of the cases. Jurik and Gregware's Table 2 shows that only 5 out of the 24 homicides (21%) were in response to "prior abuse" or "threat of abuse/death." Mann's (1990) study of the circumstances surrounding partner homicides by wives shows that many women who murder their spouses are impulsive, violent, and have criminal records. Jurik (1989) and Jurik and Gregware (1989) also report that 60% of the women they studied had previous arrests.



Jurik, N. C. (1989 November).Women who kill and the reasonable man: The legal issues surrounding female-perpetrated homicide. Paper presented at the 41Annual Meeting of the American Society of Criminology, Reno, NV.



Jurik & Gregware (1989) "A method for murder: An interactionist analysis of homicides by women. Tempe: Arizona State University, School of Justice Studies.



Mann, C. R. (1990). Glack female homicide in the United States, Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 5, 176-201.



Abstract: Prevalence and stability of physical aggression between spouses



O'Leary KD. Barling J. Arias I. Rosenbaum A. Malone J. Tyree April, 1989. Prevalence and stability of physical aggression between spouses: a longitudinal analysis. Journal of Consulting & Clinical Psychology. 57(2):263-8.



Community couples (N = 272) were assessed in a longitudinal study of early marriage. More women than men reported physically aggressing against their partners at premarriage (44% vs. 31%) and 18 months (36% vs. 27%). At 30 months, men and women did not report significantly different rates of aggression (32% vs. 25%). However, using either the self-report or the partner's report, the prevalence of aggression was higher for women than men at each assessment period. Modal forms of physical aggression for both men and women were pushing, shoving, and slapping. Conditional probability analyses indicated that the likelihood of physically aggressing at 30 months given that one had engaged in such aggression before marriage and at 18 months after marriage was .72 for women and .59 for men. Furthermore, 25-30% of the recipients of physical aggression at all three assessment periods were seriously maritally discordant at 30 months.



Spousal Abuse Rates - Stats from UCR and Straus, Gelles \



The data from the US National Crime Survey (NCS) states that 84% of the victims of "intimate" violence were female. ("Highlights from 20 years of Surveying Crime Victims", NCJ-144525.) It also puts the occurrence of this violent crime (from "intimates only") at 5.4 female victims per 1000 women per year - this is all crimes, some of which did <i>not</i> involve injury.



For comparison, the rate for "Accidental injury, all circumstances" is given as 220 per 1000 adults per year - a figure 40 times higher.



If one accepts data such as that from the NCS, one must (at least if one is consistent and intellectually honest) admit that such violence is rare. The picture changes, though, when different techniques of investigation (methodologies) are used, such as those by "Straus, Murray" and Gelles. This data shows that domestic violence is MUCH more common. In fact, some degree of violence (NOT injury, however) occurs at a rate of 113 incidents per 1000 couples per year (husband. on wife) and 121 incidents per 1000 couples per year (wife on husband)! This is 20x the rate that the NCS reports.

Family Homicides - rates by gender - DoJ, 94



In July 1994 the Bureau of Justice Statistics of the U.S. Department of Justice released a Special Report detailing the results of a survey of family homicides in 33 urban U.S. counties. The report covered ONLY convictions, which should respond to any contention that female-on-male family violence is almost always reactive. The report said:



"A third of family murders involved a female as the killer. In sibling murders, females were 15 percent of killers, and in murders of parents, 18 percent. But in spouse murders, women represented 41 percent of killers. In murders of their offspring, women predominated, accounting for 55 percent of killers."



"Among black marital partners, wives were just about as likely to kill their husbands as husbands were to kill their wives: 47 percent of the victims of a spouse were husbands and 53 percent were wives."



U.S. Department of Justice



Conflict Tactics Scales



To give a little background on how the rates of violence were determined, by "Straus, & Gelles", We include the following question from the published survey for the CTS methodology:



Question 35:



No matter how well a couple gets along, there are times when they disagree, get annoyed with the other person, or just have spats or fights because they 're in a bad mood or tired or for some other reason. They also use many different ways of trying to settle their differences. I'm going to read some things that you and your spouse might do when you have an argument. I would like you to tell me how many times in the last 12 months you:

a. Discussed the issue calmly

b. Got information to back up your side of things

c. Brought in or tried to bring in someone to help settle things

d. Insulted or swore at the other one

e. Sulked and/or refused to talk about it

f. Stormed out of the room or house (or yard)

g. Cried

h. Did or said something to spite the other one

i. Threatened to hit or throw something at the other one

j. Threw or smashed or hit or kicked something

k. Threw something at the other one

l. Pushed, grabbed, or shoved the other one

m. Slapped the other one

n. Kicked, but, or hit with a fist

o. Hit or tried to hit with something

p. Beat up the other one

q. Threatened with a knife or gun

r. Used a knife or gun To summarize, Straus & Gelles, using the CTS methodology described above found that rates for total (including less severe violence, such as pushing and shoving) between husbands and wives are quite close) for husbands and wives, with one survey showing husbands as more violent and the other with wives as more violent .



Other data, however indicates that the gender of the striker of the first blow is fairly uniform. Jan. E States and Murray A Straus, "Gender Differences in Reporting Marital Violence and It?s Medical and Psychological Consequences", ch 9 in Straus & Gelles Physical Violence in American Families quote the following: Men claimed they struck the first blow in 44% of the cases, their female partners in 44% of the cases, and "couldn't?t remember" in 12% of the cases. The women claimed men hit them first in 43% of the cases, that they struck the first blow in 53% of the cases, and "couldn't?t remember" in 5% of the cases. However, data for injury rates based on these studies shows women seeking treatment for a doctor much more often than men did. In a study of 8145 families 7.3% of 137 women severely assaulted (i.e. 10 out of 137) and 1% of 95 men severely assaulted (i.e 1 out of 95) men needed a doctor.



(all figures are rates per 1000 couples per year, and the CTS figures are based on two national surveys of a representative population sample)



Recent Trends in Spousal Violence - Dept of Justice



The U.S. Department of Justice released a study on domestic violence and spousal homicides on July 11, 1994. In this study it is reported that women kill men at approximately the same rate as men kill women in "spousal" homicides. (A "spousal" homicide is a husband or wife killing the other or a homicide perpetrated by a common-law marriage partner on the other partner.) In addition this study also reported that children were killed by mothers in 55% of all parental homicides.



The 13th World Congress of Sociology, on July 19, 1994 it was reported that for the U.S. for 1992:For the average of reports by males and females: Husband on wife severe assault occurred at a rate of 2.0%, whereas wife on husband severe assault occurred at a rate of 4.6%. and Husband on wife minor assault occurred at a rate of 9.9%, whereas wife on husband assault occurred at a rate of 9.5%



A rate of 2.0% means that during 1992 there were 20 instances of severe husband on wife assault for every 1000 couples.



Also reported at the conference was the fact that although male on female violence has been slowly decreasing over the last decade, female on male violence is now increasing sharply.



Various Spousal Violence Stats



In 1975 and again in 1985, Murray A. Straus and Richard J. Gelles and others conducted one of the largest and most respected studies in family violence ever done. What they found, confounded conventional wisdom on the subject: Not only are men just as likely to be the victims of domestic violence as women, the study showed that between 1975 and 1985, the overall rate of domestic violence by men against women decreased, while women's violence against men increased. Responding to accusations of gender bias, Straus re-computed the assault rates based solely on the responses of the women in the 1985 study and confirmed that even according to women, men are the ones more likely to be assaulted by their partner.



There is no question that while men on average are bigger and stronger than women, they can do more damage in a fistfight. However according to Professors R.L. McNeely and Cormae Richey Mann, "the average man's size and strength are neutralized by guns and knives, boiling water, bricks, fireplace pokers and baseball bats."



A 1984 study of 6,200 cases found that 86% of female-on-male violence involved weapons, contrasted with 25% in cases of male-on-female violence. McLeod, Justice Quarterly (2) 1984 pp. 171-193.



Of every 100 families, 3.8 experience severe husband-to-wife violence, but 4.5% experience severe wife-to-husband violence. (Straus, Gelles, Steinmetz , Behind Closed Doors: Violence in American Families (1980).



A 1985 study of Texas University students, Breen found that 18% of men and 14% of women reported a violent act by a romantic partner. In the same study, 28% of married men reported that their wives had slapped, punched or kicked them. (Shupe, Stacey & Hazlewood. "Violent Men, Violent Couples (1986) Chapter 3.



In another study, 15.5% of men and 11.3% of women reported having hit a spouse while 18.6% of men and 12% of women reported been struck by a spouse. Nisnoff & Bitman, Victimology 4, (1979), pp. 131-140. Sample of e-mail responses to our National Domestic Violence Education Project

(edited to preserve privacy)

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