Kenneth Robinson, a legal “squatter” who bought a $300,000 Texas McMansion for the price of 16 items on McDonald’s $1 menu. (I know, it’s too early for math. Answer = $16)

A track mansion in the neighborhood of Flower Mound, TX was left completely empty after it went into foreclosure, the owners moved out and the mortgage company went out of business. Kenneth, being the crafty little trick that he is, spent months upon months researching a Texas law called “adverse possession.” That law states that if a house is without owners and is left abandoned like my heart when I wink at a picture of Prince Hot Ginge and it doesn’t wink back, anybody can fill out paperwork costing $16 and move into the house. If the owners come back to the house and want Kenneth out, they have to pay off the mortgage debt and the bank has to file a lawsuit against him. They have three years to do this, but Kenneth thinks he’s in the clear because of all the money the bank and owner will have to put up to get him out. Kenneth thinks the owner has moved on and the energy it will take for the bank to push out a shit to give is not worth it.

When the three years is up, Kenneth can go down to the court and get the title to the house for the price of court fees. Of course, some of Kenneth’s new neighbors aren’t smiling about this and even told the police to arrest him for trespassing. Because Kenneth has a key to the house and some legal papers stating he has the right to be there, the police couldn’t do anything and said it’s a civil matter. Below is the story from ABC News of Kenneth’s battle with Leigh Lowrie who I almost sided with because of her really sexy hot pink t-shirt. It’s going to be a loooong three years.

The house doesn’t have electricity or running water, but Kenneth can bathe in the sweat drops of rage trickling down his jealous neighbors’ faces when they walk by and he can warm himself in the winter on the fire they spit at him. Bitches be mad. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have months upon months of research to do in order to acquire my own foreclosed McMansion…. Oh, screwit. Just typing that out made me tired. I’ll buy a foreclosed McMuffin instead.