Doc: Why would MLS pick Cincinnati?

In the wake of the news. . .

If I’m MLS commissioner Don Garber today, I’m slam-dunking my picks for the league’s two expansion teams, expected to be named in the next three weeks:

Sacramento and Nashville. Not Cincinnati. Why would I pick Cincinnati?

Sac has been a prohibitive favorite for a very long time. That hasn’t changed. Nashville has come from behind. Why has Nashville come from behind, kids?

Because it’s a bigger TV market in a sexier town and has its stadium-plan act together. Unlike Cincinnati, Nashville’s pitch to join the big leagues doesn’t resemble a magic show at the junior-high Talent Night.

Watch me turn this rabbit into a soccer stadium! Nothing up my sleeves, folks.

What is it today, HamCo, Cincinnati and FCC? Rather, where is it?

Oakley? Absolutely. We love Oakley, even if some of the people who actually live there aren’t crazy about us. But, you know, we’ve never ruled out Newport. Newport is shovel-ready. Of course, there is the West End. Don’t count out the West End. Now, watch as I pull $24 million out of my hat!

That’s what we still need for infrastructure. Why? Why not?

County and city are giving us $51 mil, but we need $75 mil. Where’s the difference coming from? Can’t say.

The state of Ohio? The state of shock? The independent state of Samoa? Can’t say.

From the Enquirer’s Jason Williams, whose highly appropriate and ongoing skepticism dances from his laptop like sugar plum fairies in The Nutcracker:

Berding already has a Statehouse lobbyist lined up and ready to go after money in next year's state budget. Lawmakers hand out money for wish-list projects every two years, and the capital budget is due to be tapped into again in 2018.

Requests are due Jan. 3, and our Statehouse reporter Jessie Balmert says there's a lot of speculation around the capitol that FC Cincinnati will ask for money.

Berding briefly alluded to pursuing state funds while speaking to City Council on Monday, but he sidestepped specific questions about how the gap would be covered.

Why did he do that? Why did all involved congratulate themselves and celebrate like it was 12:01 Jan. 1 when the deal they made was $21 mil short?

Can’t say.

FCC’s plan has been so hastily assembled (or at least so hastily made public) it appears slapdash. Pulling together a stadium funding plan should not resemble throwing ideas against a wall and seeing which notions stick. If I’m Don Garber, that says to me that as wildly successful as FC Cincinnati has been on the field, it’s not quite game-day ready off it.

And Garber doesn’t need Cincinnati. He’s swimming in alternatives. In this seller’s market, your down payment better come from Ft. Knox. Your bid can’t look like a bunch of Democrats at a Republican town hall meeting.

We can applaud FC Cincinnati’s triumphal two seasons on the field. In fact, we have, ad nauseam. We can say its goal of bringing the big leagues here after just two years in the minors is wonderfully ambitious, even audacious. Great for them.

But if I’m D. Garber, I thank FCC for its efforts and suggest the futbol club get its act together for Round 2 of expansion, which apparently could happen as early as next year.

Might that be a huge blow to the local effort, should other, bigger hitters step to the plate? Possibly. That’s not Garber’s worry.

Now, then. . .

IF IT’S THURSDAY, it’s time for a Men pick. Actually, I’ve been derelict in that duty this year, which is a good thing. I picked them to finish 10-6. Ten-six won’t be possible after Monday night.

We see all Steelers Games! as referenda on all things Bengal. This Game! is no different.

It’s not about mental prep or Big Game-itis. It’s a little about Andy and Marvin, because their time together has been Groundhog Day when it comes to the Stillers. But that’s not it, either.

Sometimes, the answer comes down to talent, even in the socialist NFL. Who has more of it, who gets the most from it.

Pittsburgh wins that game. The Steelers protect Ben (just 15 sacks allowed), they run the ball effectively (Bell not as dominant as in the past, but still elite) they have the best receiver in the game, apologies to AJ.

They’re #2 in sacks (38), they’re top 10 in passing yards allowed.

And of course Ben rarely loses in Cincinnati.

It’s going to be close. One-drive close. We’ve seen The Men lose one-drive games this year. We’ve watched opponents march late and convert 3rd downs. Our catalog of nightmares is incomplete without visions of Roethlisberger with the ball and a few minutes, down a couple points.

Same game, different day. At least Joe Mixon gets a chance to put his legs where his mouth was. Remember this, after 14-29?

"I feel like I can do way more than (Bell) did... I can't showcase nothing if I don't get the ball. There's nothing else I can say."

Steelers 20, Men 17.

A FOOL AND HIS MONEY. . . This is a whole story about a $495 pair of sneakers. Further proof we’ve lost our minds, irretrievably.

A PRIMER ON HIRING AN NFL HEAD COACH, for those intent on packing Marvin’s bags.

A PRIMER ON BASEBALL HOF VOTING. Let’s reward the clean sluggers, shall we? First-ballot yays for Chipper Jones and Jim Thome.

THE MOST LIKELY NO. WC IN THE AFC.

BECAUSE TV IS MY LIFE. . . This Is Us skirts the edges of touchy-feely, but doesn’t fall off the edge. The writing is superb, the acting improves on the writing. One of the few “family’’ shows ever that is both smart and uplifting. TML sez ckitout.

BEERMAN DAVE CHIMES IN. . .

Family Time Is Hard



Did everyone survive Thanksgiving? You are forced to navigate some potentially dangerous obstacles, including, but not limited to: awkward personal questions, politics, new family members, absent family members, crazy family members, and of course the food. Any of these things could send you reeling. Thankfully we have beer to help us get through the tough times. Personally I must blame overeating and not beer for most of my massive weight gain over a 72 hour period. Don’t get me wrong, I had plenty of great drinks. MadTree’s Pilgrim is tasting great this year. Braxton Lab’s Cherry Saison goes perfectly with typical Thanksgiving fare. Dove into some classic Stone IPAs that I haven’t had in a while, like Delicious and Ruination. Sharing bombers and growlers is wonderful during the holiday season. Check out the 3 Floyd’s Floy Division IPA and Dreadnaught Imperial during your next get together. Cheers! cincybeerguydave@gmail.com

WANNA HEAR ABOUT MY FANTASY TEAM? No? Great. The Charlie Gogolaks finished a miserable 4-8, largely due to the failings of Michael Crabtree, Amari Cooper and CJ Anderson. Kirk Cousins is a superb fantasy QB, Le’Veon Bell and Gronk were as advertised. But I didn’t luck out with a Kareem Hunt or a Carson Wentz. You are who you think you are when you end a season with Cooper Kupp as your top receiver. Yeah?

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . Monday night, all over.