While Planned Parenthood doesn't want any of Tucker Max's fratire money, there's one organization that doesn't mind associating itself with the self-proclaimed "asshole" and "dickhead" and one that shares a history of publicity stunts: The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. PETA's president Ingrid Newkirk has written a letter to Max (cc'ing Ryan Holiday, of course!) saying they'd use Max's $500,000 to get a "brand-new mobile spay-and-neuter truck"—plus they'd name it "Fix Your Bitches! The Tucker Max No-Cost to Low-Cost Spay and Neuter Clinic."

A Forbes blog post by Holiday, Max's publicist, claimed that Planned Parenthood was excited to get a $500,000 donation from Max—with the stipulation that a clinic be named after Max—but then the group got cold feet. Holiday and Max have accused Planned Parenthood of hypocrisy ("the Susan G Komen Foundation did the EXACT SAME THING TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD THAT PP DID TO ME"), while critics have pointed out, "Trying to bolster the career of a misogynist narcissist at the expense of an organization that is already teetering on the brink, and then crying foul — and attempting a public shaming- when the organization protects itself so that it can continue to provide much-needed help to people who need more fundamental assistance than a new image and a tax break? That’s disgusting and transparently self-serving."

ANYWAY: Newkirk points out, "Dogs and cats can't use condoms, so PETA would be happy to have Tucker Max's help in staving the flow of dogs and cats who flood U.S. animal shelters by the millions every year for want of a home." Here's her letter in full:



Dear Mr. Max,



I am writing on behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and our more than 3 million members and supporters with a proposition we hope you’ll like. Having heard about Planned Parenthood’s rejection of your offer, we’d like to propose an alternative way that you can help prevent unwanted pregnancies, receive a tax break, and put your name proudly on a clinic—perhaps along with a picture of you and your dog! We would like to purchase a brand-new mobile spay-and-neuter truck and name it “Fix Your Bitches! The Tucker Max No-Cost to Low-Cost Spay and Neuter Clinic.” The truck would cost just shy of $400,000 (delivered fully equipped) and give us $100,000 in leftover funds to spend on veterinary fees—if you are willing to spend the same amount you were offering Planned Parenthood.



Since 2001, our mobile clinics have helped prevent the births of hundreds of thousands of unwanted cats and dogs. In fact, PETA spays and neuters more than 800 dogs and cats every month in some of the most impoverished areas of North Carolina and lower Virginia. We assist owners who have a hard time paying their utility bills, are without transportation of any kind, and often live in trailer parks. One of our mobile clinics is on its last legs (it’s in the repair shop more than it’s on the road), so this would be a huge help.



Two of our clinics currently display images of Simon Cowell and Ron Artest. Please see this mock-up of what the Tucker Max clinic could look like, complete with the “Fix Your Bitches!” slogan and an image of you hugging a dog.



Millions of dogs and cats must be euthanized every year because people continue to let them breed when there are not enough homes to go around. Most end up in shelters—others are left to fend for themselves on the streets, where they are often subjected to cruelty, suffer from starvation or diseases, or are hit by cars.



Dogs and cats may “sleep” with more mates “than is safe or reasonable”—but unlike us, they can’t unwrap a condom. Will you help us provide this essential form of birth control? Thank you for considering this.



Very truly yours,



Ingrid E. Newkirk

President



cc: Ian Claudius and Ryan Holiday

Your move, Tucker Max!