We did it, folks! There are only four months left of this purgatorial realm of political thinkpieces and media incredulity toward Donald Trump ... a man I'd be sure was a shared delusion if it wasn't for the Reagan-invoking RNC that was held in his honor.

Republican National Convention

Trump's secret weapon: nostalgia for stupendously old nutjobs whom people love solely because they've been on TV.

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There is no denying which era the "again" in "make America great again" refers to, but in case anyone doubted it, Trump himself identified with the late president during his sanitized bumper-bowling equivalent of a Reddit AMA:

Reddit

Straight from his hose mouth: Baby-Gripper digs the Gipper. And while that's certainly in line with the GOP platform, I can't help but feel like this is actually a lie. And I'm not insisting that Donald "Melting Lizard Creamsicle" Trump is in fact the reincarnation of Barry Goldwater -- the Republican senator and one-time presidential nominee who famously championed the use of "coded language" to push racist platforms without sounding racist, forever alienating the African-American community at large from his party.