So I made a fresh character for safari purposes. Especially since the AMA, safaris have been on my brain a great deal. I built a brand new dude and got to work.

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=18991778

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=18991785

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=18995106

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=18995109

That’s an Orca, a Domi, and both their pods. If you investigate carefully you’ll notice that the pilot was 26 hours old at the time of those kills.

But that’s not actually what I want to talk to you about. I want to talk to you about the next thing:

I joined a corp and spotted a mining op going on. As avid readers of this trash rag know, that’s one of my favourite things to find. The Orca was AFK about 50km off station, providing boosts. I don’t know why he was neither in belt not on station. I did a bit of ransom negotiation on the Orca hull as I was shooting it, demanding 300m. They didn’t comply. I did, however, get 100m shoved into my wallet. I’m guessing the guy who did it figured other corpies would do the same and that would add up to enough.

Alas for him, it didn’t.

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=18995189

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=18995338

My good friend Skjordr Longfang brought his Legion and provided some small amount of bumpage. From there I proceeded to zoom around system engaging whatever would engage me.

From there I warped around system looking to kill whatever wasn’t paying attention, getting a Venture, a Cormy, and their pods. Finally, Anemone221 brought out a Gila and ended by shenanigans in basically a heartbeat. I had a good lol and got my safari dude to near Amarr, where I bounced him around moons and customs offices for a bit.

In the mean time fang, having seen the Gila, went suspect. The Gila obliged him by giving him an LE and the fight was on. Unfortunatly for fang, he couldn’t break the Gila before it could dock. He played some docking games with the Gila and that same pilot in a Navy Scorp for a bit, but nothing came of it.

Meanwhile, over in Kor-Azor Prime, I was getting convoed by the recruiter, who was apparently moritfied that he’d let me in. He offered me a Plex in order to go away. Of course I took it. He had to go buy the Plex and it took some fucking around and relogging before he got it in game, but sure enough I got contracted a PLEX.

The good news is that I wasn’t even particularly interested in hitting them again. I would have to grab myself another dessie by way of another character and I was at that time talking someone else through their first safari.

It was a pretty good time.

Here, enjoy some chatlogs.

http://pastebin.com/SJeqGns1

http://pastebin.com/KV9bNa3V

P.S. So many dudes have been convoing me and mailing me for some guidance on their first bits of assholery that I really feel like there’s got to be some organized way to get them the support they need more efficiently. I’m considering a couple options, including running some classes (like a non-terrible Eve Uni or some such) and/or running a crime-in-a-box scheme where I drop them the exact ships they’ll need for a particular stunt along with some documentation on how, including a FAQ.

Newbros, do either of these things sound like they’d be up your alley or helpful at all?

Oldbros, would anyone experienced in the dark arts be willing to lend a hand with either of these projects?

Let me know in the comments, in the eve subreddit, or in game.