Him: Hey. ‘Sup.

Me: Oh Jesus…

Him: What?

Me: Nothing. I just… Hi.

Him: Hi.

(a long pause)

Him: So, what’s up?

Me: I’m just on a walk.

Him: Cold day for a walk.

Me: Well, I like walking in the cold.

Him: Is that so?

Me: That is so.

(a long pause)

Me: No. It isn’t so.

Him: Ha.

Me: It’s not what you think.

Him: What do I think?

Me: I think you think that I’m here to… hang around in the park.

Him: Hang around?

Me: Stop. You know.

(he glances at his crotch)

Him: Maybe I do.

Me: Don’t do that. I’m here to write about this.

Him: Are you serious? What do you mean?

Me: I’m covering The Ramble for a lifestyle piece I’m working on.

Him: Really??

Me: Yeah. Really.

Him: Awman. I gotta leave.

Me: No, wait. I’d like to ask you some questions, if you don’t mind.

Him: I don’t know.

Me: Come on.

(long pause. i glance at his crotch.)

Him: Okay. But you can’t identify me.

Me: You haven’t introduced yourself.

Him: Good point.

Me: What’s your name? Just kidding. What do you do for work?

Him: I’m a prep cook at a restaurant.

Me: What type of restaurant?

Him: A hotel.

Me: Faggy.

Him: Shut up, I’m not… Only a few of my friends even know I’m gay.

Me: Is that important to you? That you pass for straight?

Him: I guess so… I guess. I don’t like it when people think I look like a sissy.

Me: Hm.

Him: I’m not ashamed of being gay. But I don’t want everyone to know about it. I don’t want to have to shout about it.

Me: Okay. How often do you come here for sex?

Him: What?

(long pause)

Him: I don’t know. Once a week. Sometimes twice?

Me: So the majority of your sex life happens out here, in the wild?

Him: Well, in the summer time, sure. In the winter… sometimes I go home with somebody.

Me: Okay.

Him: Is that weird? I think it’s thrilling. Like hunting…

Me: Do you think it’s weird?

Him: No, but I can tell you do.

Me: No. I don’t. I don’t think it’s weird at all. But I do think there might be a connection between your self-consciousness about people knowing you’re gay, and you conducting your sex life anonymously. I mean… Don’t you think?

Him: No. I don’t think about it that much. It’s such a small part of who I am.

Me: Really?

Him: Yeah. Really.

Me: Well… Sounds like you’re really good at compartmentalizing.

Him: So?

(long pause)

Me: So… more power to you, I guess.

Him: Hey. You’re a decent guy.

Me: Thanks.

Him: Wanna go behind those trees and blow each other?

Me: I do not. Thanks for chatting though. I have to leave.

Him: Don’t identify me.

Me: I don’t know who you are. You never said.

Him: Fair enough. Jerk.