The experience of topping is much different than people tend to think. We don’t give tops enough credit; My ass still got a workout even being on the giving end. So, ladies and whomever, start doing some squats and get those legs strong! While there’s a lot of physicality to topping during a pegging session, like many sexual practices, a lot of pegging is mental.

Imagine your partner laying on their back, their body moving in rhythm with yours. Their head, held back, mouth open, letting out moans of ecstasy. That’s why I love pegging. It’s intimate for me and my partner. They’ve let go and put their trust in me to be the top they need. Letting go of any societal judgment and giving into pleasure.

Not every woman will enjoy the same things about pegging; take for example my friend Erin’s experience:

“Seeing men in submissive roles and craving for me to be inside of them, rather than the other way around, makes me feel like a powerful fucking goddess,” Erin said. “After being abused by men – a lot – it makes me feel like I'm not a 'victim' of sex--like, I can be strong and powerful and in control in a consensual way instead of being forced into submissive roles.”

One big misconception about pegging is that wearing a strap-on has no physical pleasure for the wearer. Fact is: besides being really turned on by pleasing your partner, the harness – or whatever apparatus you are using – can totally be used to rub up against your sexy bits. There are even dual pleasure toys – such as the feeldo – that are made specifically to give the top some extra pleasure.

While pegging doesn’t have to be about power dynamics, it’s usually powerful, cathartic and all around sexy. With sex, it’s important to have those kinds of experiences. The ones that leave you open and questioning your preconceived notions about sex.