starfleetrambo:

Aww look what Dipper made. A certificate of mystery?? How adorable! Yeah sure, I’ll sign it. Anything for you, little champ.

Wait—

“By signing this official document, you are hereby agreeing to dedicate your life, your afterlife, and any potential clone-lives to the discovery, uncovery (Is that a word?), and exploration of the paranormal, the alter-average, and the extra-usual. When friends ask you to stop being paranoid, you will scoff. When they say that you’ve been acting really weird since you read that book and they don’t even recognize you anymore, that means they’re jealous/you are like me now. We are part a higher calling. We will meet one day and on that glorious day we will show the small-minded doubters we were right all along, and are also really cool, and they should have been nicer to us. Okay that’s about it. This sort of sounds like a supervillain manifesto in retrospect. But you get the gist.” — (Photos and decoded text from the awesome post by gumballsanddippers)

Uhh really, Dipper..? A veiled contract? Since when did you turn into Bill?

Oh dang..