So Mum and Dad were invited to a wedding this past weekend. For some reason my name was left off the invitation. I think that the bride and groom were probably worried that the paparazzi would be around because of my celebrity status, and I guess it wouldn’t be fair to upstage the bride.

I asked Mum why anyone would ever want to get married considering the single life is so much fun, and she said that at some point, most men decide to become a “one-woman guy”. That made me LOL because I have so many chicks wanting to date me, it’s hard to imagine the thought of settling down.

Then again, I was curious, and I thought I might try my hand paw at some serious dating just to see what it’s like. I convinced Mum and Dad to let me spend the weekend on my own to do some celebrity chores while they went to the wedding. They didn’t believe me, but that didn’t really matter. As soon as they left, I pulled out my trusty binder of women.

I think I need not mention which great American politician inspired this fantastic idea..

Except mine isn’t as much a binder as it is an encyclopedia. With all of my exotic travels and worldly expeditions, I have met many, many bachelorettes (and a few spinsters). You may in fact remember my recent Sexy Ladies Wiener Dog Party, where I was introduced to a lovely redhead named Gogo. She’s a little bit older than I am, but she’s sweet and easy going, which I like.

In fact, she even came over for a quick visit a few weeks ago while Mum and Dad went out to dinner – where this conversation took place with Mum..

(That’s her on the bed).

Anyway, I seemed to really get along with her so I thought I would give her a call first and see what she was up to. Before I even had the chance to finish the question, she invited me up to her pad. Truth be told, I’ve never been over to a lady’s place without my parents, so I had to think about everything Dad has ever told me (he likes to give me a lot of romantic advice). I remember him saying something about flowers, candlelight, long walks on the beach, and having a cool car.

Well, Mum and Dad had the car, so I did what I had to do and whipped over there on the bat-bike. That’s sure to impress her even more than a cool car ; )

I arrived 15 minutes late as usual (I’m always fashionably late), to find her waiting out on the porch for me. She looked lovely with her red hair glistening under the sun and her sassy tongue poking out at me.

As soon as I walked in, I realized we weren’t alone. That kind of helped take the pressure off, but I decided to keep up my best strut just to keep her interested.

Gogo was so excited to introduce me to her friends. And guess what? They were in the middle of a poker game! A bit of peculiar start to what I thought was a romantic, one-on-one date weekend, but I went with it nonetheless.

There were some serious players in attendance, including Fearless Frankie, Prince Corleone, Gambler Gogo (who knew?), Zapper Zoey, Ruthless Rusty, and an old friend of mine, Mister Coco (that’s his real name – he doesn’t do nicknames).

It made me realize that Gogo is a pretty cool cat dog to be into poker and whiskey. Plus she looked pretty cute in her frizzled-feather scarf and jewel-encrusted headband.

These guys seemed to take their poker – and outfits, pretty seriously.

Prince Corleone here was also pretty good at the intimidation stare. Didn’t fool me though..

It seems I had all the luck that day, because Cardshark Crusoe (hey, I had to join in all the nickname fun) came up with two aces right when it mattered most.

By the way, the ears-back look was part of my bluff to make them think I didn’t have anything in my hand.

Well that sent everyone home pretty quickly, which left me alone with my new squeeze.

I asked if she wanted to go for a walk, and she said she would rather go in the hot tub. (My kinda gal!)

Watch out baby, here I come!

Even though I hadn’t brought my swim trunks, she said “no worries, we’ll go skinny dipping”. I didn’t have a problem with that.

We spent some time just chatting on the side of the hot tub with only our paws dipped in the water. I was happy to learn more about her, especially the fact that she speaks French. I can speak a little myself since Mum is also French, and so we kicked up the romantic factor and chatted en français about love, life, and everything in between.

One thing led to another, and before I knew it we were cuddling together on the couch. I was about to make my move when we both fell asleep. I guess the poker and hot tub really took it out of both of us..

Oh well.

The next morning came and then we did go on a walk. Upon our return it was time for some serious sunbathing.

This is the life. The warm sun, a nice open a yard, and chick by my side.

Even in such a relaxed moment, I was careful to maintain my flexing posture at all times. That’s just how I roll.

In this state of such carefree bliss, I was actually starting to think I could get used to this “one woman” thing.

The rest of our day included more suntanning, a nice homemade meal for two, and a quiet evening on the couch. So how did the date end, you might ask?

A gentleman never tells…

(Well, usually I would tell everybody but Gogo’s a nice chick).

I’m looking forward to our next date.

Keep romancin’,

~ Crusoe

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