PANEL ONE: Beside a window in stately Wayne Manor, brooding billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne and his loyal butler Alfred are brainstorming on the subject of how best to fight crime.



ALFRED: --or how about a bat, sir? I understand criminals to be a superstitious and cowardly lot...

BRUCE: NO, ALFRED!

BRUCE: My decision is final! I've already chosen my costume and everything!



PANEL TWO: Bruce crosses his arm in stubborn opposition.



ALFRED: But sir--

BRUCE: NNO

ALFRED: I just think a bat would--

BRUCE: DON' WANNA BE NO DUMB OL' BAT

ALFRED: Ah, well, what if we COMBINED the two?



PANEL THREE: Princess Batman stands in the Princess Batcave, which is exactly like the regular Batcave except it has a BADASS THRONE and loyal subjects bowing before him.



SUBJECTS: HAIL PRINCESS BATMAN!

PRINCESS BATMAN: HELL YES



PANEL FOUR: At a lovely tea party, Princess Batman takes on a gang of thugs!

THUG 1: IT'S HER MAJESTY DA BAT!

THUG 2: I IS AT ONCE TERRIFIED AN' ENCHANTED!



PANEL FIVE: Princess Batman prepares to beat the shit out of the joker with his royal bat-scepter.



PRINCESS BATMAN: JOKERRR!

JOKER: Wait, WAIT!

PRINCESS BATMAN: WHAT?!

JOKER: I was wondering...



PANEL SIX: Close on the Joker, who is genuinely confused.



JOKER: It's just, if your parents are dead...

JOKER: Shouldn't you be QUEEN Batman?



PANEL SEVEN: Princess Batman thinks about it.



PANEL EIGHT: Princess Batman punches the fuck out of the Joker.



SFX: BOPPO!



PANEL NINE: Back in the Batpalace, Alfred is coronating a pouty Bruce.



ALFRED: There there, Your Majesty

ALFRED: I'm sure Being queen will be nice too

QUEEN BATMAN: IT’S NOT THE SAME!



