Ever since the release of Grand Theft Auto 3 people have been asking when the multi-million selling Rockstar North title will head to London.

However, there would be a lot of problems with London being the backdrop for one of the most expansive and controversial games of all time. And, yes, we know the original Grand Theft Auto had a London 1969 mission pack – but we’re talking new, not top-down GTA and modern-day London.

Here are hecklerspray?s top 10 reasons why GTA London would never work:

10 – Rockstar North

Rockstar North is a Scottish company. This is the same country that sells ‘Anyone But England’ T-shirts. Are they really going to set their top selling title in an English city? No.

9 ? Boris Johnson

The new-style GTA games all feature a political figure of some sort. Imagine having to listen to this floppy haired buffoon as he tells you to, ?ruddy well sort out that ruffian!?

8 ? The Daily Mail

Could you imagine what the Mail would have to say about a GTA London game? My guess is ‘New Liberal Game Results In Immigrant Teen Pregnancies’.

7 ? Transportation

Public transportation has always been a way of travelling across the game map in a short space of time. GTA London would have to feature engineering works and make you top up your oyster card every time you wanted to travel. Plus at some point you'd be expected to drive one of the godforsaken bendy buses.

6 ? The Congestion Charge

Every mission costs you ?20 and if you forget to pay it your wanted level goes up at the end of the day, without any warning.

5 ? Cyclists

They?ll be even more annoying than they are in real life, if that is even possible. Every turn you make will result in the death of a cyclist, causing your wanted level to go up.

4 ? Traffic Calming Measures

Speed cameras, speed bumps and traffic jams – three things London is renowned for. Would it even be worth stealing a car in Grand Theft Auto if you couldn't actually go 10 yards without hitting a traffic jam, snapping the suspension or being gatso?d?

3 ? Weapons

In order to accurately reflect London life GTA London would have to feature a distinctive range of knives: lock knives, butterfly knives, samurai swords etc. Guns would obviously only be available in Hackney.

2 ? The Police

They don't have guns. What are they going to do when they come to arrest you? How do you know whether or not they're an actual police officer or one of those PCSO things that can't actually do anything?

1 ? Londoners

Crime wouldn't even register on a Londoner?s radar unless they were the victims, or they read the Daily Mail and are now afraid to go outside. Your character will be shoved, abused and hunted by marauding teenagers wielding baseball bats when the sun goes down while everyone just walks past with their heads buried in a copy of the Evening Standard. The game would play more like a survival horror than a sandbox game.

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