Brad Gray didn't realise until several months after his five-year relationship ended that it had been abusive.

He was working at a newsagent and flipping through a Dolly magazine when he took a quiz on whether your boyfriend is too controlling. Almost every answer applied to him.

Brad Gray was in an abusive gay relationship for five years but struggled to recognise it for what it was. Credit:Wolter Peeters

"I didn't know because I literally had no other role models around me," said Mr Gray, who was in his early 20s then.

"I didn't have a picture of what a positive gay relationship looked like. We didn't talk about it at school, there was no equivalent to the Dolly magazine quiz in the gay press."