Onion! You bastard! Raw atop my chalupa you give me the breath of a dragon-sized chihuahua that just puked up a can of tuna fish. Dicing is too good for the likes of you. Prepare to be hacked to bits with my Samurai sword cum kitchen knife! Whack! Slash! Chopchopchop! Haha, how does retribution feel...oh. Oh, ow. Owwwwww! It burns! In my eyes, it burns! Onion! You bastard!

Although a Samurai Kitchen Knife Set may not turn you into a real Samurai warrior, it will make for some fun kitchen role-playing games with onions, as well as other offending fruits and vegetables. The 4-piece set includes one each of a bread, chef's, utility, and paring knife, all covered in slick red scabbards and mountable on a (collapsible) wooden stand. Please be careful while using, as instructions for averting Whack! Slash! Chopchopchop!-ing your fingers and arms are not included.