Ah, another episode of my favorite show: Law & Order: Downfall of the Republic! When last we caught up with the gang of tertiary Batman villains running the country, the Mueller Report revealed that the President wanted to but failed to obstruct justice because no one would play with him, but before that Attorney General Bill Barr—a man who always has the expression of Gene Hackman trying to sneak out of the club at the end of The Birdcage—released a letter summarizing the Mueller Report which basically said "All good; nothing to see here; definitely no crime or nuthin'." Mueller, however, wrote to Barr and was like "that is definitely not what I meant; I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion." But we didn't find out about that until yesterday, hours before Barr was scheduled to testify in front of the House Judiciary Committee. And that's what you missed on Glee.

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Wednesday's hearing got off to a bold start when Senator Lindsey Graham, while reading from quoted speech in the Mueller Report, said "Trump is a f*cking idiot" on live TV, which is exactly the kind of content I pay my cable bill for.

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Lindsey Graham just said the F-word pic.twitter.com/000Jjfi1eu — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) May 1, 2019

Lindsey Graham dropped the f-bomb and called Trump an idiot and I immediately texted all my friends and some close enemies "I can't stop crying; we did it kids!" Please someone edit Lindsey Graham's Wikipedia page; this is his career-capping achievement.

Who could doubt the judgment or savvy of a man who would would say that sentence into a room full of cameras in the internet age? Of course, Graham is the same person who once called Donald Trump a "race-baiting xenophobic bigot" and now defends even his worst ideas with the sort of fervor usually reserved for pop star stan accounts on Instagram. So... really, who is the idiot?

Graham later apologized to all the children at home on a Wednesday watching a Senate hearing but for some reason stopped short of apologizing to me for wasting my time and giving me stress wrinkles despite my deep commitment to living right and Botox.

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Fortunately, however, Senator Kamala Harris knew just what I need to lift my spirits and my brow. In a line of questioning that showed off her expert cross-examination skills and has surely guaranteed her a spot in the newly reformed Avengers, Harris demonstrated that she has clearly passed the Barr by utterly decimating the Attorney General with a series of her now-trademark "yes or no" questions.

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.@SenKamalaHarris: Has the president or anyone at the White House ever asked or suggested you open an investigation into anyone?



BARR: ..... ah .....



HARRIS: Seems like something you should be able to answer



BARR: I don't know ....... pic.twitter.com/8FIqrGzSrm — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) May 1, 2019

It's fascinating that the Attorney General of the United(?) States of America has chosen the strategy of stammering more than Christopher Walken doing a Jeff Goldblum impression. This... does not seem like a good plan. I thought it couldn't get more stunning than Senator Harris' complete deconstruction on a molecular level of former AG Jeff Sessions. But yet here we are, a few years later, another Attorney General turned to Thanos dust. It's almost like the top attorney in the nation is no match for the former California prosecutor and presidential candidate. It's almost like—and I know this is a really out there idea—they should not be in their jobs at all and she should be given some sort of promotion. Call me Rihanna, cuz I'm having wild thoughts.

There are so many things I love about this line of questioning. Chief among them is the question itself: "Has the president or anyone at the White House ever asked or suggested you open an investigation into anyone?" I feel like I can answer that question honestly about my own life and I would certainly hope the Attorney General would be able to. And yet!

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Harris helpfully points out, "seems like something you would be able to answer," with just the sweetest, most delectable trace of a read. Kamala Harris doesn't even need to go all in on this guy. She's letting the tone of her voice and the tilt of her head communicate her displeasure. The way her hair falls is like the words "DO BETTER" broadcast over a loudspeaker.

And then, when Barr saltily says he's "grappling" with the word "suggest" as if he's Russell Crowe in Gladiator, Harris starts just throwing out synonyms like she's a teacher at a writing workshop! It kills me! I am dead! Deceased! Eighty-sixed! Dearly departed! I have logged off the chat! Unsubscribe to life!

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I also love how Senator Cory Booker is sitting off to the side with an expression that can best be described as "OH SNAP!" The phrase "it me" is so overused these days, but reader, please gaze upon Sen. Booker, awed and nearly jumping out of his seat with anticipation, and know "it me." Midway through the clip he glances at Barr with a look clearly communicates, "This is not going well for you, sir."

Behold Booker hopping around like a kid on Christmas morning in this next clip as Harris scoops up the scraps of Barr's remaining dignity, makes a wish, and then blows them away as she questions him about his decision not to bring charges based on the Mueller Report.

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“I think you’ve made it clear that you have not looked at the evidence,” Sen. Harris says, blasting Barr for “making a critical decision” to not charge Trump with obstruction without reviewing any proof pic.twitter.com/2DwjjXvzrH — Bloomberg QuickTake (@QuickTake) May 1, 2019

What is happening to our country is not entertaining and, to quote the wise senator from South Carolina, nor are the antics of the "f*cking idiot" (apologies to the children around the world who are reading this). But if we're going to go through it, it might as well sometimes be as satisfying as this: watching a well-qualified, intelligent woman, dismantle a man who is most likely lying and most assuredly not up to her level, piece by stammering piece.

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R. Eric Thomas R Eric Thomas is a Senior Staff Writer at ELLE.com, home of his daily humor column "Eric Reads the News," which skewers politics, pop culture, celebrity shade, and schadenfreude.

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