Sandwich Monday: Cheese In Hiding

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Today we're sampling Burger King's new Stuffed Steakhouse Burger. What makes this sandwich special is they've put cheese and jalapenos inside the patty, rather than on top. You may be asking yourself, why? What's the difference? Well, firstly, it keeps the cheese warm, like a meat sweater.

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Mike: Ours really doesn't look like the one in the picture. Peter, did you sit on our burger?

Ian: I think this is the photo from the burger's e-Harmony profile. So misleading.

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Mike: This is a great way to prank a lactose-intolerant friend.



Eva: It's also great if you love cheese but hate how it looks.

Ian: Yeah. And it's true that if you can't see the cheese you're eating, it keeps your eyes from getting fat.

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Mike: Now that the technology to hide stuff in burgers is out there, the door is open to all sorts of things. They could stuff one with candied jellies and make a Stuffed Christmas Burger.

Ian: You could put your presents under it.

Mike: You could put your presents IN IT.

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Eva: You can pretty much put the word "stuffed" in front of anything and Americans will want it.

Mike: It's true. I can't tell you how many stuffed animals I've eaten.

Ian: Instead of "obese," we should say "stuffed person." That's a lot nicer.

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Peter: You ever hear of prison loaf, where they take all these different foods and mash them together into one big thing? I think what we're seeing with this burger is the idea of prison loaf trickling out.

Ian: Peter, I didn't think what you were saying could get any grosser, then, boom, you finished it off with the phrase "prison loaf trickling out."

[The Verdict: fine, but not worth running out and getting. It is not clearly superior or inferior to a traditional cheese-atop-patty formation, and far less cheese-stuffed than the ads had us picturing. If you're going to stuff a burger, stuff it.]