On Friday or last, I finally received my Secret Santa package. Needless to say, I was so pleased with what I got that I feel like even more of a jerk about the crap I sent MY Secret Santa.

I opened my box to find that inside was what I would imagine a care-package of a Jetsons type future might be like. Obviously that was not the intent and I'm just some weirdo, but that's what I got out of it and I find it hilarious.

First off, there was a titanium spork, which me and my dad are both very excited about, me because it is a reusable spork and my Dad because "Woah, it's actually titanium? 100% titanium?!"

Second, there was a stick of bacon lip balm which was for all intents and purposes both hilarious and just utterly disgusting. I put it on the first night and let me tell you, the smell lingered. It wasn't even a bacony smell, it was just a greasy smell. It's also the color of congealed bacon grease. So, really it felt like I was rubbing THAT on my lips. Of course, this is how I expect all bacon to be made eventually, some time in 2222 or something. Still, it did not feel right. When I wore it, I felt like this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdaw13zG9qE

and third, and the greatest gift of all, I was given an LED belt-buckle. Initially I asked for a belt-buckle in the shape of the state of Wisconsin knowing full well those don't exist but still hoping for a miracle, and in the end I ended up with this. I am most certainly not disappointed. Now, on to the next task of figuring out if it would be too obvious to write "Hey, ladies!" on the buckle and where I could wear it without being harshly judged.

Thanks for the memories, pal! Holidays Tidings to all!