Impossible reCAPTCHAs

Select all images in which there are people whose color you do not see.

Select all images of plastics that can definitely go in the recycling bin.

Select all images of women who have momentarily forgotten to smile and would appreciate your reminding them to do so.

Select all images in which the person pictured would love for you to explain to them how something works.

Select all images of situations in which it is appropriate to establish your bona fides as a man who does not hate women by stating that you have fathered daughters, married a woman, or otherwise encountered a woman in your lifetime.

Select all images that show corporations and not people.

Select all images in which Jeff Goldblum looks anything less than a zaddy.

Select all images of Ph.D. students who would love for you to ask when they will be finishing their dissertations.

Select all images of situations in which it is appropriate to refer to women as “females.”

Select all images of people who consider sharing a fact about themselves with strangers under similar duress fun.

Select all images of situations in which it is appropriate to wear blackface.

Select all images of people who don’t mind that you entered the express checkout line at Trader Joe’s with more than 20 items despite the stated limit of 15-ish.

Select all images of “female nipples.”

Select all images that contain people who, tired of reading articles in plain text, would prefer articles in intricate multimedia formats that take approximately a year to load and have a good chance of killing the tab in which they were opened and possibly crashing the whole damn computer.

Select all images in which it is clear that an influencer’s content is sponsored.

Select all images that show a person of color who has learned something new about the importance of diversity and inclusion in their organization from the seminar they just attended.

Select all images of people who prefer open-plan offices to their sanity.

Select all images in which Idris Elba looks anything less than a zaddy.

Select all images of non-problematic straws.

Select all images of situations in which it would be appropriate to not vaccinate your otherwise healthy child.

Select all images of cats that are not “the best” per their owners.

Select all situations in which it is appropriate to not tip your server because you think the wage economy is flawed.

Select all images of people who would welcome your comparing their skin color to an item of food like caramel, chocolate, or Wonder Bread.

Select all images that contain women.

Select all images of situations in which it is appropriate to suggest that a person critiquing America go back to where they came from.

Select all images that show a person “asking for it.”

Select all images that contain an extant and functional product that requires rebranding to appeal to women, who are widely known to only buy products in shades of pink and labeled “for her.”

Select all images of situations in which it is appropriate to ask a woman whether she is currently menstruating.

Select all images of situations in which it is useful, informative, or novel to assert, “Not all men,” “Blue lives matter,” or “All lives matter.”

Select all images that contain an American.