DETROIT—Releasing bombshell evidence in the form of hundreds of cell phone videos taken during the gathering, numerous anonymous tipsters confirmed this week that Bernie Sanders recently attended a secret campaign meeting with 15,000 working-class donors from the Democratic Party. “This damning footage shows Sen. Sanders clandestinely mingling with thousands of representatives from the nursing, food service, and public education sectors, many of whom were apparently chauffeured to the event aboard city buses and enjoyed fountain drinks upon arriving,” said political strategist August Buckminster, adding that the event, which reportedly took place at a local vocational school, could prove problematic for the presidential candidate in his bid for the Democratic nomination. “Sanders can be heard promising a highly underprivileged audience everything from a minimum-wage increase to healthcare access to educational opportunities—whatever it takes to get them on his side. In one video, he explicitly offers a group of steel workers a quid pro quo of affordable housing in exchange for their votes. If the senator wants to win the backing of the national party, he will certainly have to answer for hobnobbing with this room full of people at the absolute lowest levels of power.” At press time, Sanders had received further criticism after documents were uncovered showing he has acted on behalf of a contingent of approximately 625,000 Vermont residents over a period of nearly 30 years.

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