It was a Friday morning during sixth form when a man from a blood donation charity came in to speak to us. Most of my year group had recently turned 17 – the age at which it’s legal to donate blood under UK law. The man told us that it was one of the most selfless and necessary acts of kindness and generosity, how we could donate blood and save lives. Unless of course, you were gay.

This was 2010, and the law was pretty stringent: men who sleep with men (MSM) weren’t allowed to give blood. I was young, and still pretty naive about queer sexualities and all that came with them, but already it seemed obvious that something about gay sex was deviant and dirty; those who engaged in it to be treated with mistrust. It was just another reason to be ashamed.

My heterosexual teenage friends had their sexual awakenings, slept around and talked openly of their conquests. STIs and terminations were part of adolescence, but each and everyone one of them could donate blood. A man who had any form of sexual relationship with another man throughout his lifetime – however safe, however much time had passed – was barred.

Gay men to be allowed to give blood three months after sex Read more

A bit of research made it clear the ban was a hangover from the HIV crisis from 1983 – but with advances in medical technology making the screening process easier, and a shift in the demographic of HIV diagnoses, something just didn’t add up. By 2011 the abstinence period was reduced to 12 months – but for sexually active MSM, whatever their sexual practice, it was in all but name still a blanket ban.

In an announcement last weekend, Justine Greening, the women and equalities minister, revealed that the 12-month period would soon be reduced to three. On first inspection, this might look like a step forward – in the week that marks 50 years since the partial decriminalisation of homosexuality, an important and progressive step. But the reduction is simply a reflection of technological advances – so announcing such changes under a banner of promoting LGBT equality is disingenuous, or ignorant at best.

It generally takes just four weeks for HIV to show up in a blood sample; the 12-month deferral period is now simply out of date. This new rule change purely reflects a medical reality, not a shift in ideology from the 2011 approach. Equality does not mean reducing the time in which MSM must not engage in sexual activity, equality would see the introduction of an evidence-based system when deciding who is able to donate blood. One that is based on individualised risk assessments and, most important, trust.

Heterosexual men can have unprotected sex with multiple partners – complete strangers – and still donate blood, while a gay or bisexual man who practises safe sex with a known partner is excluded for a three-month period. Yet in the UK in 2015, 38% of new HIV diagnoses came from heterosexual sexual activity. More than one-fifth of the total diagnosed as HIV+ were women.

Of course, HIV still disproportionately affects the gay community – infection rates are at an alarmingly high level – but the reality is that anyone you sleep with could be at risk. It’s why donation must be considered on a case-by-case basis – to ensure both safety in the blood supply and the eradication of stigma.

There would be uproar – and rightly so – if heterosexual people were banned from blood donation after practising safe sex with a known and trusted partner. Instead, the NHS has a list of conditions and experiences that preclude a heterosexual person from donating blood. So we trust heterosexual people to know their sexual history and be open, but the same can’t be said for gay men – a situation that invokes the tropes of deviancy for which gay men have been ostracised for generations.

It’s vital that we don’t reinforce stigma of those who are more sexually active than others, and with multiple partners of whatever gender (there’s nothing wrong with having safe and consensual sex). Your level of risk should dictate your ability to donate blood, not the gender of your partner or partners.

As a society we need to trust men who sleep with men to be honest about their sexual activity – and right now, that isn’t what’s happening. It’s reassuring that in the government’s announcement is an aspiration to further improve the blood donation process for MSM to make it more equitable. But for now it will continue to feel as if gay men can’t be trusted if they engage in sexual activity, take precautions or be truthful about what they’ve done.