Living in LA. means every other person has a script in his head or a pitch in his pocket but so what. I think the girl with glasses at the Lamelle theater is cute too but I haven’t done shit other than being able to masturbate at home now while wearing maroon argyle knee socks. Asa’s been approached a little less than a dozen times for a reality show so she know’s whats going on. 10 minutes into the meeting, Asa already puts the yawn on their idea of her giving me advice to break out of the “friend zone” - First of all, that’s not an original idea since its essentially taken from the DVDASA podcast and…that’s it? Ok, let me give you 3 quick things about wanting us to do a show.

1. Have more than 1 idea. Because this is exactly what happened. We didn’t like the first idea and now the meetings over because there’s nothing else going. You put all your eggs on this not so great plot point and now we end up watching viral videos because the guy is trying to buy time.

2. For a quick minute, I became an asshole and said to Asa “I’m the talent, I can dress this way”. Meeting us like we’re going to go eat at ayce Korean bbq isn’t the way to go (unless we actually are but no, we did not). Look the part or act the part if you’re not the part.

3. Asa said one thing which resonated through the whole room. The working title should be called The Asa and Bill show and not because its alphabetical. Asa Akira is the brand and she’s going to drive the show. There is no other Asa. People don’t say to me, “are you working with THE Asa Akira?”. No they just say, “you’re working with Asa Akira?” Because like Neo, there is only one.

Being creative is difficult but drop some molly or eat some meatloaf. I do the latter and this magically came into my head.

1. Asa and I are very bad singers. We love singing because we don’t have to listen to ourselves. When a porn company won’t use a sample of Asa’s voice for a song, Money Mark says, “it’ll be better once we auto tune it” or her husband says the Karaoke machine is broken, she’s probably a little off key. Meanwhile, I remember as a kid, overhearing my cousins say in disgust “have you heard bill sing?” - yea assholes, I heard that. But you know what, Asa and I still sing like horny alley cats. They should have us serenade lovers.

2. Everyone knows that reality shows are a sham so lets just be ridiculous and have us rob fast food fried chicken restaurants, shoot the patrons, take hostages on our escape and become their friends. We eventually leave them at the bus terminal with a free ticket back home and a story.

3. After the DVDASA podcast, Asa and I go home. Film us then. That’s when we talk shit about the guests. We see through their pretentiousness and/or tomfoolery. Especially the so called more famous celebrities. Yes, Asa and I talk about what you’re thinking. We’re just like you…except we have each other. The Asa and Bill show. Forever.