It’s that time of the year again when love invades our personal spaces and makes us want to feel things other than the bloodlust from that triumphant Pentakill we scored the other night. If you spend all your free time either playing Ranked or following eSports like me, you probably don’t have a date either. But that doesn’t mean we lack that ever-elusive four-letter word; We just save it for our video game waifu or hubby. And if they could reciprocate…

AHRI

If Ahri loved you, she would do everything in her power to control her natural urge to siphon out your life essence. Instead, she will prey on other poor souls and bring home their empty human husks as trophies for her favorite hooman – you.

ANNIE

Don’t even think about it, you perv.

ASHE

When she’s not busy ruling Freljord and uniting the tribes, she’ll wine you and dine you until you turn into putty in her hands. She plans your dates with the same precision she uses to guide her frost arrows to their target; So, it’s no surprise your heart’s been shot too. Sometimes, you may feel like a peasant next to this queen but remember, your loving support is what makes you her king.

BRAUM

He’s no Bruno Mars but he’ll catch a grenade for you. Like a real grenade. This of course will leave you alone in the world with all the love and admiration you have for his selflessness until he miraculously emerges from the debris and embraces you. He also has a sweet habit of rescuing stray Poros. You guys may not have kids but you have dozens of these fluffy little guys and that’s awesome.

EKKO

He’s a little rough around the edges but to you, he’s perfect. You don’t really get how he does it (hint: it’s about time) but somehow, your relationship just works. But behind the scenes, he messes up more often than he’d like to but he always goes back in time until he gets it right. And although you’ll never see all the effort behind his smooth moves for yourself, your heart knows it’s there.

EZREAL

Your wanderlustful pretty boy will show you the world, including every canyon and crevice in between. He’ll make you ‘OOH’ and ‘AHH’ at all the breathtaking sights and he’ll still blush every time you do it. He’s the ultimate lover who never leaves a stone unturned or body part unexplored (yes, my nose is bleeding while writing this). Imagine what else he can do with that magical arm.

FIORA

You never get into an argument with her because you never win. Despite making a scary sparring partner, she exudes the nobility and refined grace that always leaves your jaw hanging. Not to mention she knows exactly what to do with a baguette.

GRAVES

Sorry, Tobias is the only one for him. Try getting in between their ship and you’ll end up like the last guy who did (it was Gangplank btw).

JHIN

This guy is like Christian Grey and Jack the Ripper combined to your sweet submissive heart. He is one dominating gentleman and he loves how naive and innocent you are. You’re his only saving grace from all the skeletons he keeps in his closet. Literally. Also, never open that big scary door he always keeps locked. You won’t like it.

JINX

This crazy little lady loves you the way only a maniac can. When you’re with her, you’re never bored because she never runs out of out-of-the-box date ideas. Other times though, she runs off for days at a time wreaking havoc on someone else’s backyard. She isn’t up for settling down just yet but she does love watching you explode. Close enough?

LUCIAN

Up to this day, he continues to weep for his ex-wife Senna. You do what you can to console his broken heart and although he may never be totally yours, his broken brooding self will still steal your heart. He’s every girl’s kryptonite – tall, dark, handsome, and emotionally unavailable.

MISS FORTUNE

She’s beautiful and she’s dangerous but you’ll bet on her anyway. She hits the biggest fish in the sea so the bigger you are, the more she’ll run after you. If you can look past her initial attempts to kill you and collect bounty (and that she farts hearts), she won’t back down from the idea of committing to you. Bonus points if you can navigate a ship like an expert!

ORIANNA

She is the talking, moving, and occasionally dancing equivalent of a dakimakura. She’s programmed to say all the sweet nothings to you but until her artificial intelligence (AI) functions progress enough to comprehend real human love, that’s all they’ll ever be – sweet nothings.

SHEN

Though you may never lay eyes on him in your lifetime, he will always have his eyes on you. In other words, he’s the stalker every victim wishes their stalker would be. He’ll always be in the shadows (yes, including your shadow) but he’ll never bother you nor snip your hair and keep a collection of it.

SONA

Sona is the muse to every disgruntled husband’s soul. She couldn’t nag you even if she tried but she could play loudly and out-of-tune on purpose, so there’s that. When her music isn’t filling your home, she’s off on tour, tugging on everyone else’s heartstrings.