Welcome back beatslackers. Its been over 2.5 years and nary an update.

That changes now, and the topic is karaoke. Because you see, thats what I’ve been doing for the last 2 years or so. And then voice lessons. But thats a topic for another day.

Today, I wanted to lay out my rules for karaoke, with a huge nod to Roger Niner, my friend and karaoke guru. These rules are guaranteed to make any karaoke experience better, either as a singer or watcher.

NEVER APOLOGIZE (big nod to Niner on this rule). There are two reasons. First, apologizing takes the focus away from what went right (you sang great, you were entertaining, or you just rocked out) and puts it on what you think went wrong (which may not actually have been wrong). Second, apologizing is a way of beating yourself up, and making an excuse for not trying again, or not trying harder next time. Just don’t do it. ALWAYS BE POSITIVE. Following closely from #1, be sure to always be positive. While it should be obvious for those watching (do I really have to say that?), being positive as a singer makes it a better experience for other singers and the audience as well. Just remember that people have fragile egos, and many are just as nervous as you. No need to remind them of what could go wrong, or make them doubt themselves more when its their turn to sing. Karaoke is about FUN, and positivity is fun. Negativity is not. BE EPIC. Whatever you do as a karaoke performer, make sure you COMMIT TO IT and try to be epic. What is epic? Well, you’ll know it when you see it, sing it, or feel it. Epic is when everyone screams after you are done, or people dance while you are singing, or people congratulate you afterwards OR everyone ignores you but you feel like you absolutely KILLED IT. Epic is about creating a reaction, either for you or someone else – its the reason we do karaoke. Its not about technical achievement, its not about getting the most applause, its about putting it all out there and knowing that you changed the universe a bit with a three minute performance. THERE ARE NO MORE RULES. It doesn’t matter what people say, karaoke is about you putting yourself out there. Be mindful of those around you, but ultimately don’t let anyone tell you what to do (well, except me). Oh wait, there IS one last rule… ALWAYS TIP THE KJ! If you go to a show with a host (a “KJ”), make sure you tip them. They wouldn’t be able to eat if you didn’t, and you don’t want to know what starving KJ’s look like… (update:I think KJ’s who take tips for the purpose of allowing singers to sing sooner are providing a really lousy experience and I would strongly suggest avoiding those shows.)