*This article contains graphic content that may be triggering for some*

Becca Amendola is passionate about helping others. She loves to talk. She is an environmentalist. She’s a mental health advocate. She has an entire YouTube channel dedicated to all of those things. Amendola is now looking to put her passion to use as she studies Social Work at Fanshawe College. The 29-year old will gladly tell you anything you ask about her.

That includes her decade-plus experience with abuse, homelessness, and mental health struggles.

Growing Up

Becca Amendola was born in Orangeville, Ontario and grew up in Bolton – about an hour’s drive north of Toronto. She and her family did not have much growing up. Her father was in and out of the picture, with a stepfather who followed similar patterns. With no consistent father figure, Amendola sought attention from her cousin’s father who lived with the family at the time. He was a pedophile; Amendola was molested.

“Unfortunately, from that experience, I deduced that in order to get someone to care about me, I had to give them my body,” Amendola recalls. The man was accused of pedophilia by other victims and was eventually brought to trial.

As Amendola became a teen, her mother moved the family to London in hopes of finding new opportunities.

The Next Chapter

Amendola was dedicated to her studies. She found solace in doing schoolwork while enduring a home life that wasn’t the most conducive to it. Her family befriended a man named John. This man helped Amendola’s family financially, and Becca felt a connection to the new family friend.

John suggested that Becca clean his apartment to help pay her family’s debts to him. As John and Becca became acquainted, he saw that her home life wasn’t ideal for the pursuit of her academic dreams. So, he offered to support her.

To have someone comfortably support her was new to Amendola. “He had a quiet environment, he had a full fridge of food, he had money.”

John became the new father figure in Amendola’s life. He began to physically abuse her. “It was quite shocking the first time. Then it kept escalating. From raising his hand and backhanding me in the car, to chasing me with items, to all-out beatings.”

Then, physical abuse led to sexual abuse. In Amendola’s mind though, she viewed it as a means to an end. “I remember after the first time [he raped me] I rolled over, cried myself to sleep, telling myself that this was the price I was willing to pay to get away from my mother, to get out of poverty and get ahead in life.”

While the abuse – sexual, physical and psychological – persisted, Amendola continued to focus on her studies. The physical abuse prevented her from attending most of high school. She credits her teachers for being amicable and providing alternatives to be able to meet curriculum requirements. Despite not physically attending the majority of high school, Amendola was still an honour roll student.

Amendola began to escape John’s control as she took classes at both Western University and H.B Beal. She would stay with friends, spend days at a time on the streets only to be manipulated back to where it began. She finally decided to tell someone what had happened.

“He had convinced me that it was shameful, or looked bad to seek resources of aid for poor people like a shelter or support like that for an abused woman.” School staff took her to the Abused Women’s Centre where she began the first steps of getting separation from John.

But Amendola had no intention of reporting John to the police. He was still a prominent figure in her life. She felt as if he was mentally ill and simply needed help.

That is, until a trip overseas.

The Peak

During a trip to Fiji, Becca Amendola was sitting on a bus.

“I was just thinking about all the things that he had done to me; all the suffering that I had gone through. And then I started reflecting on how I’d seen him interact with other people and how as time had gone on I’d seen him conflict more and more with people,” she recalls.

“As I was reflecting, I realized that it was irresponsible for me not to report him because he was still harming other people.”

It was at this point that Amendola decided to report John to the police. She reported her father figure for the six years of sexual abuse and the near-decade of physical and emotional abuse.

Amendola was in university by the time the legal proceedings began. They took such a toll that she dropped out of school. John knew where Becca lived so she was in a state of constant fear. She decided to move out of town with her partner at the time.

Without school in her life, Amendola did not know what to do. “My mental health just spiraled because I was isolated through not being at school, not being at work, and being in a small town where I didn’t really know anyone.” She suffers from fibromyalgia from the physical abuse, making most jobs involving manual labour impossible to do. She had to go to Ontario Disability as a source of income.

When John’s legal proceedings were finished, Amendola was then contacted by another victim of John. This woman and her mother were forcefully held against their will while John repeatedly raped the young girl.

It was a moment of realization for Becca. “It was very devastating to have to face that…it was easier to handle that he’d done so many awful things if it had been a mistake that he had done out of concern and care. To know that he had done it all through selfish intent; out of fulfilling his own needs… it f—-d me up,” she said, choked up.

Rock Bottom

Up until this point, Amendola had academics to keep her distracted. With no schooling, no ability to work, and little money, it was the low point for Amendola.

She began abusing alcohol. She felt as if she were unemployable due to the aftermath of her abuse. Her claim to go on disability was rejected by the province. She was on the waiting list for housing in London, awaiting any stable living situation.

Relief came via the internet. Amendola began making YouTube videos where she would explain her stories of trauma and offer support to others who may have faced similar experiences. “Now and then, people go [to YouTube] searching for an answer. And I like to offer that.”

Amendola began getting support online from those who had faced abuse. The first time she read a comment from someone who had faced abuse similar to hers, she was shocked. Amendola gained a sense of empowerment through her helping others.

Amendola decided that she wanted to go back to school to become a social worker. “I knew that if I wanted to be a functioning member of society that if I wanted to go back to school…I wanted to pursue helping people.”

Back in Class

Becca enrolled at Fanshawe College. After a year-long wait, she was accepted into the Social Service Worker program. While studying to help others, Amendola found that it also helped her.

“A lot of the social work program for students is figuring their own [stuff] out. Because if you don’t figure your own stuff out then it’s going to be muddled up with your client’s problems.”

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know, but if you listen you may learn something new” – Dalai Lama — Becca (@ALife_Learned) January 26, 2020



In figuring her “stuff” out, Amendola learned a valuable lesson. “I spent six years pretending that a man who was raping and beating me was my father who loved me. I will never spend another moment of my life pretending anything.”

Now that she has taken relative control of her life, Amendola can now look to her future. “The goal is to be able to support myself. I’ll be able to do that hopefully while also being fulfilled in my work.” Amendola is receiving help from social programs but is working towards being self-sufficient.

Giving Back

Amendola’s YouTube channel has nearly 2,000 subscribers. The comment sections of her videos are filled with supportive messages from around the world. Some say that she has helped them overcome their trauma. Some thanked her for telling her story.

Becca has used her experiences – however horrific they may be – to make a difference. So, what advice does she give to those facing abuse?

“There is help out there for you and there’s no shame in seeking it. I had so much shame in having to admit what I had been through…I didn’t perceive it as something that someone put me through.”

Unprompted, she also offered advice to those who are dealing with someone who has faced abuse. “Don’t question why they put up with the abuse. Don’t question why it went on so long because half the time they don’t even know that.”

Now, Amendola values the connections in her life. She and her partner of multiple years now live together while Amendola works towards her career in social work.