ssi, dan, pfg; picture: Shutterstock

Donald Trump has once again managed to snub the international community. The USA pulling out of the Paris climate agreement rends 20 years of tough negotiations useless. Now, in an exclusive interview with, he faces the big questions surrounding this historic move in person.Yeah, I don’t usually like to do interviews. Fake news everywhere! I’m sure you know that. You seem serious though. Do you mind if I smoke?Well I’m smoking anyway. Make America great again!Yeah, it was a big decision. Maybe the biggest ever. Almost as big as my election victory in November. They all said it was impossible, Crooked Hillary was gonna win. But then I won the greatest victory in history. The greatest!Global warming. How long will it take for the US to feel serious effects? These eggheads, what are they called again? Oh yeah, scientists. Anyway, they say that it’ll be really bad in 15 or 20 years. I’m 70 now and in 10 years tops I’ll be dead anyway, embalmed and lying in my gold mausoleum in Washington D. C. Why would I care about the climate?Ah, they’re rich. They’ll be fine. Ivanka, for example, is smart, rich and very sexy, too. The dream woman if you ask me. The planet can’t possibly get as hot as her.Well, to start with, the agreement was very unfair to the USA. At least, that’s what Steve Bannon and someone on FOX News told me. Also, why would I care about the climate in Paris? I might have reacted differently if it was the Pittsburgh climate agreement. Aside from that, one of my most important goals is to reverse everything that was put into place by this Obama [spits on the floor in disgust]. And: make America great again!We will do the opposite! We want to at least triple our carbon emissions by 2020, maybe even double them! No President before me has ever achieved that. We will do everything possible to reach this ambitious goal. We will convert our electric chairs to use combustion engines and wind turbines will turn backwards and consume electricity. If necessary, we will build factories which don’t even make anything. They’ll just burn trees and produce smoke. And that even has the side effect of generating jobs.That’s nonsense. Climate schlimate. I can’t understand why everyone is whinging again. We can do what we want with our American air. If other countries want to keep their own air clean, please, go ahead. I’m not stopping you. Anyway, if the Earth warms up, I won’t have to go to Mar-a-Lago as often, I can just stay in tropical Washington D. C.Syria made a good choice not to take part. After all, lots of carbon dioxide is released when we bomb it. And what on earth is Nicaragua? Is that something to do with the N-word?I know what Nicaragua is! You’re not very polite. Make America great again!Make America great again!MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!Read the German version HERE