Have you ever wanted to be Batman? Of course you have. And now, thanks to DC Comics and AT&T, you can be Batman, because the comic book publisher and its new corporate parent are bringing something called "The Batman Experience" to San Diego Comic-Con later this month, and, as far as we know, it's not a high-priced escort service where a prostitute dangles you off a rooftop while demanding to know where you've hidden poison gas throughout the city.

Without reading the press release, we're going to take a stab at imagining what the Batman experience must be like. If you sign up, when you arrive at Comic-Con, you'll be treated to dinner and a nice movie, but then when you're leaving the theater, executives from AT&T will leap out of an alley and murder your parents right in front of you. Properly motivated, you will embark on a decade-long quest to become the best fighter and detective you can be, arriving back at Comic-Con in 2029 to lurk about the rooftops of San Diego dressed in a sweaty rubber bat suit, swoop down on cosplayers acting suspicious, and beat the living crap out of them. Now, let's see how much we got right…

In celebration of the 80th anniversary of Batman, DC and AT&T* today announced THE BATMAN EXPERIENCE POWERED BY AT&T, a massive, interactive exhibition that includes the largest-ever collection of Batman-related props, costumes and vehicles. The immersive pop-up museum and gaming-centric installation will transport fans into the crime-fighting world of the Dark Knight and will be open to the public at the Comic-Con Museum in Balboa Park at 10 a.m. PT from Thursday, July 18th through Sunday, July 21st. No SDCC badge is required to enter this free exhibition. THE BATMAN EXPERIENCE, custom-built by AT&T with DC, will include activities on all three levels of the Museum's staggering 68,000 square feet space. A sneak peak of the exhibition will be available to attendees at THE GATHERING, a special ceremony inducting Batman into the Comic-Con Museum Character Hall of Fame on Wednesday, July 17 at 5 p.m., the first time a comic book character has ever been given that honor. Tickets are available at www.ccmgathering.org.

Uh, ours sounds way cooler. You know, except the murdered parents part we suppose. Depends on the parents.

Here's what Jim Lee had to say about the event:

DC is pulling out all the stops for this year's Comic-Con to celebrate Batman's 80th, from our dozens of panels to our newly expanded booth which is the largest on the convention center floor – THE BATMAN EXPERIENCE takes everything to the next level.

And AT&T Senior Vice President of Advertising and Creative Services Valeria Vargas, who we're just gonna say, based on her name alone, sounds like she could be a Batman character, maybe a gruff but honest detective working on the Gotham police force who reluctantly agrees to work with Batman even though she feels his methods are counterproductive to the rule of law:

We're honored to have a role in celebrating Batman's induction into the Comic-Con Museum Character Hall of Fame, and we wanted to celebrate this iconic Super Hero in a way that is unique to what AT&T has the power to do. THE BATMAN EXPERIENCE will be an epic, fan-centric activation showcasing how creativity and innovative technology can unlock new opportunities for fans, allowing them to engage and interact with Batman in a whole new way.

And finally, Dan Didio:

…

Actually, nevermind, who cares what Didio has to say. Here's some more info from the press release:

Other featured elements of THE BATMAN EXPERIENCE POWERED BY AT&T include: The Dark Knight Dive is the centerpiece attraction of THE BATMAN EXPERIENCE and a one-of-a-kind VR skydiving experience into the Gotham City. By combining a skydive booth with the magic of VR goggles and a helmet in the shape of a Batman cowl, gamers and Batman fans will enjoy a 4D interactive experience. Visitors will virtually fly through Gotham City in pursuit of the Scarecrow, who in attempting to take over the city, unleashes his Fear gas and creates a harrowing journey for fans through Batman's 80 years of friends and foes.

The Batcave gaming lounge will feature all generations of Batman video and arcade games straight from the DC archives – examples include Warner Bros. titles such as Batman The Brave And The Bold (Wii or 3DS), LEGO Batman 3 (PS4), Batman: Arkham Knight (PS4) and Injustice 2 (PS4) – and are all available to play as part of THE BATMAN EXPERIENCE.

Hundreds of rare pieces of iconic DC comic book art and large-scale film and television props, including several from Tim Burton's groundbreaking "Batman" film such as the Batmobile and Batsuit worn by Michael Keaton. The original Batman feature film is celebrating its own 30th anniversary this year. Joining these classic pieces will be a new car created by "Wayne Technology" that will give fans a taste of their future entertainment experiences in autonomous cars with 5G.

WHAAM! KABOOM! POW! The Rogue Gallery Rumble is an interactive punching bag experience that uses projection mapping and lights to trigger classic and iconic animations and sounds throughout the space.

A special 6-foot Batman Black & White Statue designed by acclaimed artist and writer Todd McFarlane will be unveiled on July 17, marking the 100th statue in the line. The one-of-a-kind life-size version of the 100th statue will be displayed throughout SDCC along with the other 99 Batman Black & White figures from DC Collectibles.