Manchester United embarrassed themselves in defeat on Monday night with the smallness of their thinking but Stamford Bridge could soon be visited by representatives of a club that often embarrasses itself in victory. Barcelona are said to be ready to send a delegation to London with orders to dive and mewl until they get an agreement for the purchase of César Azpilicueta. But fresh from shouting down José Mourinho, icy-eyed berzerker Antonio Conte is confident of standing up to the Catalans better than most referees do.

And once he’s chased away Barça, Conte will turn his attentions to wooing Bayern Munich’s wünder-winger Kingsley Coman, with whom he previously worked at parent club Juventus. But another of Coman’s former bosses is also keen on rekindling an old relationship, as Pep Guardiola wants the young Frenchman at Manchester City. Bidding will start at £52m and who knows where it will end.

Before they leave London, Barcelona will hurl themselves over to the Emirates, then get up and surround and jostle Arsène Wenger, throwing the folks from Arsenal Fan TV out the way if necessary. They won’t stop until they’re given Héctor Bellerín. Wenger, meanwhile, is pondering a move for Idrissa Gueye, whom Everton bought for £7m last summer while Wenger was splurging five times that amount on Granit Xhaka. But Wenger has earned the right to make mistakes like that, apparently.

Jack Wilshere may return to Arsenal next season for all Bournemouth care. The Cherries are no longer particularly keen to buy the midfielder, who can no longer get into their team.

Norwich are on the search for a manager who can help a squad with a lot of exciting young talent to fulfil its potential. Naturally, then, they are being linked with Roy Hodgson, who did so much to help an inexperienced Iceland team reach unprecedented heights.

West Ham’s woeful transfer dealings last summer have not put them off trying again, and Slaven Bilic reckons the answer to his team’s striking problems is his fellow Croat Mario Mandzukic.