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Alan Pardew was not the only terrified visitor who went missing at St Mary’s yesterday, but certainly the most notable by his absence.

In the week a useful chocolate teapot was created, Newcastle United have unearthed a manager too scared to manage.

The horse had long since bolted by the time John Carver tried to shut the stable door, his team trailing 3-0 on the south coast. But it would have been nice if the man in charge had been able to take the lead.

It would have been good if he or any of his entourage had the courage to apologise to the fans in a post-match Press conference.

Ducking responsibility, though, is part of the job for senior figures at St James’ Park.

Not that Pardew was wrong to hide from the fans. It took four stewards to wrestle the man who sprinted for the dugout at the end of a shambolic defeat widely considered even worse than the Magpies’ last 4-0 hammering at Southampton.

Had he reached Pardew, he might have been the first person in black-and-white to hit the target all afternoon.

If it was just Pardew affected by the hate pouring from the away end, that would be one thing. “They have qualities,” Ronald Koeman protested afterwards, and they do, but Pardew’s startled players are bottom of the Premier League, drowning in the sea of vitriol.

With Mike Ashley and Lee Charnley within earshot, Pardew’s growing band of critics had plenty to shout about yesterday.

It only took Graziano Pelle six minutes to put the Saints in front, but already you could say it had been coming.

The match was less than a minute old when Fabricio Coloccini played a backpass to Tim Krul of the hospital variety.

Shane Long closed him down, but the ball bounced just wide.

In the second minute Long sent in a curling cross which Daryl Janmaat was forced to put behind.

The Irishman was putting in the sort of performance which made you wonder if signing a proven goalscorer actually wasn’t such a bad idea after all, and he ought to have won a penalty quickly afterwards.

Krul rushed off his line and brought Long down just inside the corner of his penalty area. Long was going away from goal, but Chris Foy could easily have pointed to the penalty spot and reached for his yellow card.

Then Pelle took over.

Ryan Bertrand crossed from deep and the Italian headed in.

His ninth-minute shot from a tight angle seemed to panic Krul more than it ought to have, but he did at least keep it out.

“Alan Pardew, it’s never your fault” sang the away fans before rolling out their full repertoire of anti-Ashley, anti-Pardew and pro-Hatem Ben Arfa songs. When Southampton’s supporters helpfully pointed out “You’re getting sacked in the morning,” the black-and-white shirted supporters to their left enthusiastically joined in.

The second goal best summed up Newcastle’s malaise.

Why Mike Williamson thought it was a good idea heading across his own goal to Coloccini only he knows, but it would have helped had he made proper contact.

Long appeared to try to volley into the net but instead picked out Pelle, played onside by Coloccini. Of course, he scored. It was that sort of afternoon.

Twenty-six minutes in, Moussa Sissoko – swapping ineffectively between the hole and left wing with Yoan Gouffran – forced a save from Newcastle academy graduate Fraser Forster. When the ball came back to him, he swung at fresh air.

The chance came from Massadio Haidara, the only visiting player to hint at first-half penetration.

Jack Colback’s shot under pressure from the edge of the area was also saved by the man from Hexham.

The midfielder was booked at the end of the first half trying desperately to stop Long breaking from a Newcastle corner.

If the Magpies thought it could not get any worse – and let’s be honest, they probably didn’t – they were deluding themselves.

Williamson had a lovely snooze interrupted when Jack Cork ran off him onto Steven Davis’ pass. He took the ball around Krul, too far off his line, and scored.

Southampton were able to settle back into their own slumber then, and Newcastle almost capitalised. Haidara’s 79th-minute cross picked out Sissoko, who pulled the ball back for Emmanuel Riviere. His shot picked out Colback a couple of yards wide, and the midfielder poked it the wrong side of the post. From a corner seconds later, Gouffran’s header forced Forster to push the ball over his bar.

Instead it was Morgan Schneiderlin, only here because he was so slow rushing for the Southampton exits that they had been blocked by then, to put the cherry on the steaming pile of manure, curling a beautiful shot beyond Krul.

At least Newcastle did not have an assist for this one.

Pardew is rapidly turning from a human shield for his unpopular puppet master into a chocolate teapot. And not a useful one.