Survivor: Island of the Idols has arrived! Every week, Parade.com’s Mike Bloom will bring you interviews with the castaway most recently voted off of the island.

If there’s one word that can sum up Kellee Kim’s 22-day journey in Survivor, it’s “bravery.” The MBA student made courage her business when she risked her vote to acquire one of the first idols of the game, along with two more later on. She made one of the biggest swings of the season when she masterminded a huge blindside. And she spoke up against the uncomfortable unwanted touching from Dan Spilo both pre- and postmerge, despite the possible social ramifications. But bravery cuts both ways, as her daring to play neither of her new idols made her the first boot of the new Lumuwaku tribe.

Despite harboring a cold when we spoke preseason, Kellee was on a hot streak with her premerge game. She was the first to pass a test on Island of the Idols, coming back to camp with an idol in her bun to get her out of a hairy situation. Luckily, Kellee found herself in a comfortable majority, even when she swapped over to Lairo beach. There she found common ground with Dean Kowalksi, with whom she shared a connection outside of the game. When Dean was on the chopping block, a moment of inspiration pushed her to take a huge swing, giving him her idol. That night’s Tribal Council was Kellee’s high point in the game. She spoke out against the double standard of women’s alliances in Survivor history, helping lead a complicated and informed discussion on gender dynamics. And she took her shot at a social threat, clipping Jack Nichting right before the merge.

The merge saw yet another group of people for Kellee to meet, most notably Missy Byrd. While Kellee had initially targeted her as the biggest threat, the two came together around Dan’s unwelcome behavior around them. His inappropriate touching had caused Kellee to have a conversation with him within the first days of the game, as well as a private talk and warning from Survivor producers. Her commiseration with Missy, combined with her alliance deciding to shift the target to Dan, made her more than happy to vote him out. But information had gotten out about her targeting Missy, and forces began to mobilize against her. That night, Kellee felt shrouded in protection emotionally in Janet Carbin and the rest of her alliance, as well as strategically in the two idols she had just found. That protection fell away in eight simple votes, sending Kellee to the jury.

Now out of the game, Kellee talks with Parade over email about why she decided not to play either idol, the thinking behind both the Jack move and the fallout, and what she hopes her experience on Survivor has shown women watching at home.

We need to start with everything at Tribal Council, and your ultimate decision to not play either one of your idols. We saw you briefly check in with Lauren to make sure everything was according to plan. But what was your general mentality going into Jeff asking for idols?

My big concern was, what if I misplayed an idol? The group already perceived me to be smart. I’m Asian, I went to Harvard, I was at Wharton, and I’ve been told that people see me that way because “it’s just the way that I speak.” If people knew that I had an idol, it just felt like my chances of getting to the end would be slim to none.

Lauren was always going to be my gauge on whether I was going home. We were very close. I didn’t believe her when she told me we were okay, but I thought it was due to our conversation about Dan earlier that day. At the end of the day, it was probably better to be safe than sorry!

We saw some decide to target Dan for his behavior, while others chose to target you as a strategic threat. What do you make ultimately of the decision to get rid of you at that point in time?

My vote out was truly the perfect storm: the repercussions of voting Jack out; missteps on my part in conversations with Tommy, Dean, and Elaine; the apex of Dan’s inappropriate touching; and forgetting to tell Lauren about Jamal’s idol. If anything went differently, I might have scraped by.

Talk to me about the chaos of the merge. What was it like to connect and reconnect with the members of the new Vokai tribe?

The merge is chaotic – I didn’t expect it to be so crazy, but I should have known better! To be honest, I cared way more about the food than the people during the merge feast. I knew it was bad Survivor, but I couldn’t help it. I was so hungry.

You mentioned a bond that could potentially be forming between those who shared the secret of the Island of the Idols. Were you able to connect with Noura and Janet, or even Elizabeth and Elaine, over your time with Rob and Sandra?

It certainly brought Noura and me closer! Noura has many strengths, but giving instructions to people who are blindfolded is not one of them. At one point, we had to physically restrain Noura because she would follow the people she was giving instructions to. I am laughing, even thinking about it!

When Noura told me what was going on, I thought of every way that I could get her to be the caller, but I would have had to reveal too much and use too much social capital. It’s so funny because I was trying to get Lauren to go to Island of the Idols so that we could have the secret together. Then I saw her confessional saying, “No way would I ever volunteer!”

Janet and I were already close, so it was just another little bond. By the time I got to Elizabeth and Elaine, I think my name was already the plan, and so it was really hard to bond with them. Elaine told me that before the merge, she genuinely wanted to work with me. When we had our one conversation at the merge, she thought that I told her that if she survives this vote, I’ll work her, and that’s why she voted me out. Let the public record show, this is not true! I would never say this! Elaine and I have laughed through many debates on what I actually said. I guess we’ll never know.

You decided to save Dean with your idol, despite him being the consensus boot at that point. What made you seek him out as an ally, and did you suspect at the time of your boot that he had voted against you?

I wanted to use my idol to make someone especially loyal to me. I knew that Dean was isolated from his old Lairo. I wanted to create another loyal ally and figured that saving Dean would do that. I trusted Lauren, but I knew that I needed another person to be my eyes and ears with Lairo, and out of everyone, Dean was in the best position to do that.

It was a great plan until Dean and I had a late-night conversation, the night before the challenge / tribal, where he asked where our relationship was going. Instead of saying, “to the end,” I said, “I don’t know.” Oops. When I got voted out, I thought that Jamal, Tommy, and Dean had flipped!

You orchestrated Jack’s boot with your idol play. What caused you to pick him over Jamal, even though you mentioned he trusted in you?

It was really exactly what I said; I knew that Jamal had fewer allies in the game, and he and Dan had beef. Going into the merge, Jack was a huge threat with really solid allies in Tommy, Jamal, and Janet. I knew that if I toppled Jack, Janet would be squarely in my corner, I would snag Dean as an ally, and maybe I could pick up Tommy and/or Jamal because everyone needs a new number one. I think I underestimated how crazy the merge would be and how insecure everyone would be feeling.

a big part of your plan was to get Noura to vote for Jack by saying Dean may be voting for her. How did you approach that conversation, and what was your reaction upon her mentioning you came up with the idea after Tribal Council?

(Laughs.) I’ve been waiting to talk about this! I actually had Karishma do it. I convinced Karishma that in case Dean had an idol, it would be really bad for our games if Noura went home, which was true. Karishma, Noura, and I were a very tight three that wasn’t shown. Karishma was an incredible strategic partner, especially after the swap, and I didn’t have Jason to intellectualize with.

What you didn’t see was that I eventually fessed up to telling Noura to write Jack’s name down. I said that I felt bad and never thought anything would come of throwing Noura a bone. Dean, to his credit, played his part perfectly. He said he found it in the last three days, which is why he didn’t play it in the first Tribal, and that he decided to vote out Jack during Tribal, because Jack made it clear that he didn’t want to work with Dean. To most, it just seemed like a very curious coincidence that there were two names for Jack.

You were a large part of conversations about gender this season, whether it was dispelling the double standard of women’s alliances or your remarks about women standing up in the context of Dan’s inappropriateness. Having looked at the way things turned out, and the way fans have received the conversations, how has that affected the way you view those issues both in and out of the game?

I have always cared and thought about issues of gender and race. It is one of the big reasons I applied to be on the show. However, my goal was to be an advocate by being a good example and hopefully being a person and a player that all people could look up to, regardless of where you’re from or who you are.

More than ever, it is important to be aware and respect other people’s personal boundaries and to speak up when you feel your boundaries are crossed. It’s not just about being aware of others’ boundaries, but also being aware of when someone might not have the ability, agency, power, or strength to speak up.

[AUTHOR’S NOTE: At the Island of the Idols reunion in December, Kellee was given the opportunity to sit down one-on-one with host Jeff Probst and talk about her experience on the island. Parade caught up with her after the finale to get her thoughts.]

I can’t imagine how much pressure you felt up there talking with Jeff at the reunion. How do you feel now that you’ve had that talk?

Clearly, at the moment, I was very nervous. There is so much pressure on a situation like that. I feel so much responsibility to do justice to not only my voice but so many other people’s voices. Now that it’s over, I can be really proud that those changes are being made. I wanted and asked for those changes, so nobody else needs to go through this. If and when it happens, there are now things in place that are looking to have people protected, heard, and believed.

The very first thing Jeff said to you in your sit down was, “You were right.” What was your response to that?

To me, it’s not being right or wrong. What it really is about is being believed. This wasn’t just me; other people felt this way as well. I have become “the voice” in this, which has become a huge amount of pressure. At the end of the day, to be supported is what really matters. Anyone who goes through this wants that.

Talk to me about becoming “that voice.” I can imagine how unexpected that role came about. What has it been like getting so much feedback from Survivor fans throughout all of this?

It’s interesting. A lot of the people who have reached out to me are of all ages and genders. We sometimes think of this issue being just about women. But it affects a lot of men as well. What was most striking to me is that this is a universal thing that’s happening everywhere. In our schools, workplaces, and communities. It can happen to anyone. I think that’s why this was so impactful for so many people watching. This is a real-world thing. Even though it’s happening in the game, so many people can relate what’s happening to me to their own lives. They can start conversations with their loved ones saying, “If this happens to you, this is what you can do.”

Even though I’m the one talking about it, it was many women. I have this amazing support network of friends and family, as well as the team at “Time’s Up,” to help me. But I also had the voice of the public. It’s not just me; it’s “we.” They were able to say, “What happened to Kellee and all those women was not okay.” Those were the voices who gave my voice power and really made that change happen. It was beautiful and powerful.

For more information and education on sexual harassment/violence, as well as ways you can support victims of sexual harassment and assault, please click here for a list of resources.