Orgasmic Birthing & Connecting with your partner throughout childbirth

So, the other night while I was clicking through pregnancy and antenatal vlogs on YouTube, I came across a preview for an orgasmic birthing documentary and thought, who on earth could possibly achieve any type of euphoric feeling while pushing a watermelon out of a 10cm hole and how could that process even remotely bring me closer to my partner? But to my surprise, the more I watched of the preview, the more ecstatic/orgasmic birthing made sense. In essence, the process allows the body to relax and gives the mother a way to convert the pain sensation in to a feeling of elation and a way for partners to provide positive support.

The concept seems to revolve around the idea of viewing birth as empowering and pleasurable event instead of a harrowing, stressful and painful experience. Concentrating on ways to help women produce higher amounts of oxytocin (the love hormone) which in turn helps to convert the pain sensation to pleasure. Even though it is reported that only 0.3% of women experience a spontaneous ecstatic birth, there seem to be a fair amount of women who are too embarrassed to tell anyone that they experienced orgasmic sensations during birth for fear of being judged by others.

When you really think about it, the muscles that contract during orgasm are the same muscles that are contracting during birthing. Same goes for the hormones produced during sex… So, is the only thing that is stopping women from enjoying the act of childbirth, the combination of the fear inducing scenes of women in pain that we see in movies and societal taboos surrounding sexual freedom?

So what is it that tips birthing over the edge from pain to pleasure?

From what I understand, it seems to be a combination of chemical (naturally occurring such as oxytocin, endorphins, adrenalin & prolactin) and manual stimulation as well as creating a calm space where the birthing mother feels supported and uninhibited. This supportive atmosphere seems to allow for an almost trance-like state.

What is Oxytocin, what does it do that makes it more powerful than morphine & what role does it play in ecstatic birthing?

Oxytocin is known as the ‘love hormone’ and is produced by both mother and child during pregnancy, birth and post birth. Studies have suggested that it mediates what is called the foetal ejection reflex, among other things. It also plays a role in bonding with the newborn and reducing the severity of postpartum depression.

In short, this little hormone stimulates the production of beta-endorphins which are your body’s natural painkillers. It is the hormone that is released when you cuddle with a partner or bonded pet, when you first fall in love, in childbirth and during breastfeeding.

The Beta-Endorphins that are produced are the same mood enhancing hormones that are released by laughing, exercising, eating chocolate and even giving gifts.

Ways to Boost Oxytocin During Pregnancy & Birth

According to an article by Heather on Mommypotamus the top 6 ways to boost oxytocin during pregnancy & birth are:

Eating dates – Yep! According to studies conducted in 2014 and 2017, these sweet little dried fruits have an oxytocin-like effect on the softening of the cervix, shortening labour and reduced the likelihood of postpartum hemorrhage. Eat and Drink as Needed – Studies suggest that even something as simple as feeling hungry may trigger the cortisol producing fight-or-flight response, increasing stress levels and prolonging labour. Warm Water – Creating that womb-like atmosphere with a warm bath or shower can help release endorphins and allow oxytocin levels to rise. A Calm Environment – The birthing environment should be like date night at home. Soft relaxing music, dimmed lights, beautiful scents and a supportive person to share the experience with. Somewhere you feel safe and comforted. Avoiding Unnecessary Interventions – Much like the fight or flight response that is prompted through hunger, constant monitoring, interruptions and overmedicating can trigger a rise in cortisol levels, slowing down the progression of labour. Nipple Stimulation – Yes, that’s right ladies and gentlemen, playing with your nipples can help boost this love hormone.

You can also have an awesome makeout session with your partner, masturbate or even have sex during labour. This may be easier to do if you are having a home birth or are in a birthing centre, as many hospitals will strap you to monitoring equipment and will generally have less privacy. This will not only help your body naturally cope better with the discomfort of childbirth, but it will also bring you and your partner closer.

The Ultimate ‘Couples Time’

For those partners who think that they are just there to be an extra body in the delivery room, think again! You play a vital role in creating and maintaining the calm, supportive atmosphere required for ecstatic birthing. The simple acts of a passionate kiss, a reassuring touch or a back rub can keep those love hormones flowing, keeping everyone calm and helping create a sense of security. Disconnect from everything outside and focus on your connection as partners and soon to be parents.

The Verdict

I do love that this form of birthing allows couples to use the sexual drive and bond that helped make the child, bring the child into the world surrounded by love and support.

I’m not sure that I have the piece of mind to achieve an ecstatic birth. I have the sneaking suspicion that I’m just too neurotic and also wildly unprepared, but I do like the idea of taking hold of my sexuality during the birthing process. Although, I’m not sure what they will think at the hospital when I show up with a bag full of toys and scented candles… We’ll soon find out.