(Ed. Note: As the Stanley Cup Playoffs continue, we're bound to lose some friends along the journey. We've asked for these losers, gone but not forgotten, to be eulogized by the people who knew the teams best: The bloggers and fans who hated them the most. Here is Brad Lee of St. Louis Game Time, fondly recalling the 2015-16 Chicago Blackhawks.)

(Again, this was not written by us. Also: This is a roast and you will be offended by it, so don't take it so seriously.)

BY BRAD LEE

This is a BREAKING NEWS update from the NHL Network. We take you live to the National Hockey League offices in Manhattan. Reporter Mike Glumac has the story.

The NHL has become the next large corporation to be the victim of a data breach. We have learned this morning that the personal email account of Gary Bettman has been hacked.

According to an online cyber organization only going by the initials SLGT, they hacked into the commissioner’s email in the aftermath of the Game 7 victory of the St. Louis Blues over the Chicago Blackhawks.

Mr. Bettman was in St. Louis for the deciding, dramatic and surprising game Monday night, sitting with members of the Hawks front office – at least when he wasn’t up getting beer and snacks for them. Apparently at his hotel that night, someone got access to his phone and downloaded several emails. And now they’ve published them online for the world to see. The vast majority of the thousands and thousands of emails are from Blackhawks supporters and even some employees filing complaints with the league via the commissioner.

What follows is just the tip of the iceberg, but it is a representative sample of all the emails. Last names have been redacted.

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Commissioner,

The officiating in the Hawks-Blues series has been horrible since Game 3. We are the defending champs and deserve the benefit of the doubt! The Hawks needed more power plays, but you didn’t come through like normal. The Hawks somehow lost. Now the NHL doesn’t have any Original 6 or Canadian teams in the second round of the playoffs.

You get what you deserve, Bettman. You think people are going to watch The Blues and Stars?!! Please.

I’d like to formally request a coach’s challenge for the entire series. I figure no one ever knows which way the challenges will go anyway, so it’s worth a shot.

I expect compensation, sir. No more preferential treatment for the Blues. And no means "no."

Jon T.

View photos

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Gary,

Listen, I’m going to need a favor.

When our fine young rookie Artemi Panarin finished the season tied for eighth in points, he triggered some salary bonuses for the year. In fact, his bonuses total $2.5 million. Now you probably don’t know a lot of details about the salary cap or league rules or almost anything about hockey, but that number carries forward to next season. And that is going to hurt us with the cap. It will put us over. I already have to deal with $10.5 million for Patrick Kane and Jon Toews. Marian Hossa counts $5.2 million into the next decade, Brent Seabrook’s number rises to $6.875 million and even Corey Crawford counts $6 million a year. I get vertigo just looking at those numbers. We had to dump Patrick Sharp, Brandon Saad and Johnny Oduya because of cap troubles. I could have used those guys. The Hawks would still be playing and NBC would be getting ratings if there was a Hawks exception to the cap.

Story continues