If you were to search for the largest cross in America — and why wouldn’t you? — you’d come across a 190-foot cross in Groom, Texas and a 198-foot cross in Effingham, Illinois.

You can see the obvious problem here: America doesn’t have a cross that’s 230 feet tall. And that’s why Jesus cries to sleep every night.

Thankfully, a couple of Alabama business owners (who must be feeling very inadequate) are about to take care of that:

“I think God has and continues to bless this area, and it would make a great statement,” said [Flora-Bama Lounge owner John McInnis III]… “While I believe that money is always best spent on food, clothing, Bibles, ministry, and other needs before all else, I support anything that helps turn this nation and world back to God,” McInnis said. “All of the problems we face today are the result of a movement away from God.”

All of them? Who knew Christians in this country could do no wrong?

I’m sure starving, poor children everywhere will totally understand why spending $750,000 on this cross will ultimately benefit them…

The investors are already joking about how soon the Giant Cross will be built:

[Businessman Jon] Butler said the $750,000 Giant Cross Project could be completed within two years, depending on donations. “It could happen sooner than that,” he said Thursday. “We don’t want to limit God.”

Hilarious.

Anyway, it’s probably unfair for me to tell them how they should spend their money. They can do whatever they want with it. But I do have a problem with what it says on the Cross’ website in order to encourage other people to donate to the campaign:

When you donate to the Gulf Coast Cross Project your donation becomes a flap of the butterfly’s wings. Your donation could lead to not just one person to the cross but dozens or hundreds or perhaps thousands. Your donation could lead to someone being healed from cancer. Your donation could lead to marriage being reconciled. This is God’s Project and millions will be supernaturally affected.

You’ve got to be shitting me. How the hell are they allowed to say that?! I guess the key word is “could,” since saying “won’t” would scare people away.

So far, they’ve only raised $100,000:

I guess that means God is gonna kill a child who has cancer after forcing his parents to get a divorce.

(Image via Shutterstock. Thanks to Brian for the link)



