1. THROGUH SONG

(police sirens) [the police sirens are actually at the start of part 2 though] john: hi im john egbert and and i'll tell you about my rock opera that's totally like, OH MY GOD DAVE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON THE FLOOR GROUND WRITHIN IN PAIN dave: nothin, nothin, john... just ignore me... im not... pregnant john: OH MY GOD DAVE... WHAT S HAPPENED TO YOU DAVE: im... im lyin.... i am pregnant john: WHAT!!! HOW HOW, HOW, IS THAT POSSIBLE!!! WHOSE THE FATHER dave: the father... i cant tell you john john: but... then... WHOSE THE BABY dave: the baby john... is you dave: your the baby dave: all the babies dave: all of them JOHN: NO DAVE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JOHN: WE HAVE TO GET YOU TO A HOSPITAL JOHN: ARE YOU SERIOUS THOUGH WHAT ARE YOU , WHAT ARE YOU SAYING Are you just [unintelligible] dave: john i guess the only way you can understand is through song

2. IM HAVING A BABY, AND THE BABY IS YOU BUM BUM BUM i was sittin around, in the middle of the night all bored with nothing to do i called up my friend, he put some stuff in my end taught him a hundred different ways to screw john: Oh, Dave! i conksunked his boots, touched his imigrants the chips had just started to fall now after that night, i was given a fright a babytummy shaped like a ball DAMN JOHN!!! im havin a baby and the baby is you id birth my best friend its true john: Oh, no! im havin a baby and the baby is you koalababies up the avenue john: What? im a havin a baby and the baby is you my ovaries are out the wazoo john: Oh, no! im having a a baby and the baby is you john: [unintelligible] ur gonna come out my hoohoo john: BUT HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE dave: i dont know... such is the magic of skaia he entered all of my seven gates he touched me john john: meow he prototyped my medium and now my kernelsprite is rich with data and... nwo.... your the baby john: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO dave: OPEN WIDE What the fuck FL Studio? duet: YOUR HAVIN A BABY AND THE BABY IS YOU/ME I'D BIRTH MY BEST FRIEND ITS TRUE I'M/YOUR HAVIN A BABY AND THE BABY IS YOU /ME KOALABABIES UP THE AVENUE john seems to say something else but it's probably gibberish I'M HAVIN A ABABY AND THE BABY IS YOU /ME OVARIES ARE OUT THE WAZOO HAVIN A BABY AND THE BABY WEARS SHOES BABIES FLYIN OUT THE HOO HOO BABIES BABIES BABIES BABIES BABIES BABIES B-B-BABIES [you get the idea] WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

3. bootes (more police sirens, some other sfx too) DAVE: OH MY GOD... john... THE BABY... IS A BABY.... IS A BABY John: dave you're losing your water break, we cant go to the hospital now DAVE: YOUR RIGHT HTERES NO TIME DAVE: WE MUST GO TO MOUNT PROSPIT DAVE: where i myself was born JOHN: you were born in a lab dave and im your lab daddy DAVE: ok shut up, dad, because your my baby now and youre the one that's going to have mantitties in your face john: what? dave: MANTITTIES IN YOUR FACe, john: no, no, gross! MANTITTIES IN YOUR FACE john: aww, gross! dave put your fucking shirt on dave: MANTITTIES john: i'm not even born yet that's not fair dave: oh my god... someone needs to deliver this baby right now karkat: I CAN DO THAT john: karkat what the fuck are you doing karkat: delivering babies... i did it once i can do it again....... john: leave it up to me karkat karkat: no... no i cant... your the baby..... karkat: i must do this... i must be the... the midwife karkat: john... theres some things you cant know john: like what dave: please just reach inside me KARKAT: LETS SING A FUCKING SONG ONCE UPON A TIME ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN i'm karkat by the way A BABY WAS SITTING IN A WATER FOUNTAIN karkat karkat [unintelligible] HIS NAME WAS DAVE AND HE WAS SUPREME HIS BOOTIES WERE COVERED IN PEACHES AND CREAM AND THAT STORY TODAY IS TOTALLY IRRELEVANT I'M A TROLL AND JOHN I WANT TO FUCK YOU OUT OF HATE MM I WANT TO FUCK YOU OUT OF HATE CAUSE I'M KARKAT MMMMM MMMMMMMM MMMM dave: oh. my god. please sotp this singing shit, i need have to have this baby... now...... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

4. - ROSE PRAGNANT

rose: oh my god i hate garageband so much JOHN: dave you need to hang in there DAVE: AEAAAEEAAA rose: what the fuck what is this fucking metronome shit karkat: i dont get it... the baby just wont come out dave: IM NOT READY... tehre are some things I have to clean up first (car) john: it's a car karkat: holy crap, it's a car rose: i came as fast as i could dave: rose i'm glad you're here.... i need to talk you about................. this........ big baby in my mommytummy rose: i'm serious, i'm a serious actor, voice actor, VA rose: undubitatably. i will embiggen my words less so you can understand me. i am the queen of books. what the fuck i'm fuck dave: lets not talk. lets.... sing....... like old times karkat: rose is pregnant and she can't sing, OK, that's her problem rose: no, strider. the truth is.... im pregnant. i cant sing. john: ROSE!!!!!!!!! dave: it's... its only fair.... rose: right. besides singing is passe for those of a caliber like ours. let us engage in that ancient art far superior..... rap Rose: It happened. ???: Make it happen, Lalonde. ???2: Suck that bitch's dick. Rose: I am going -- that's not what I'm doing, that's the opposite of what I'm doing. Alright. It's not recording! I came as fast as I could. Indubitably. I can-- 5. - the rose rap (feat. von fawn as rose) roserap: alright strider let's do this thing strider let me break it down like this for you there once was a violet femme fatale whose violent violin sung sweet without the tables of a boy who turned tricks and treats like icy halloween breeze/ so fresh were his beats but alone they were weak no revolution together - overtime there was an evolution they met on the net and there was a fusion like danimals yogurt breakfast frusion hearts and minds and souls and hearts they loved each other you bag of farts they promised to be each others baby mommy daddy babies but now theyre both caught in their lies their fingers in another persons pies guilty of another person's scabies CHORUS (SUNG): strider heart to heart dont treat me like a fool you may have played me but my heart waylayed me i wanna be your baby mommy too daverap: rose i know how you're feeling, i know your emotions i want you to know i mirror your devotion you dont see this kind of depravity on the serengetti whoops there goes gravity, moms spaghetti rose: oh my god i hate garageband so much i screwed up, i fucked up, i got screwed and fucked im the baby of bad choices and my little legs are tucked i wanted to be true, make you a faithful hubby but you know i cant do, it's just too much trubby we're related rose, thats the problem, not the other we cant be baby mommy daddies because your my sis and im you're brother karkat?: Miracles! Fucking miracles, bro! i have the feelings your feeling, we share the same idea and i know i screwed up and probably caught gonohrrea but the truth of it all yo is that.... rose it would have never worked and i hope you forgive me because... actually... im having this baby now i want to say im sorry and that i want to be.......... with you and that what i did was wrong and you can be its mommy and we can get married and not worried about retarded babes do you agree roserap: yes dave.......... oh yes..................... take me away........... but the truth rose, is that we can't have a baby because it would be retarded, and besides, incest is disgusting, and, um, anyone that condones pedophilia or incest, is, bad, and they should see a psychiatrist, ??????: water, fire, air, and earth! Dave:and also, will you marry me Rose:Yes, Dave! Take me away! Dave:so we can have [unclear if he says "this" or something else] baby together CHORUS CHORUS X 2 with harmonies slightly different lyrics: strider heart to heart i want to treat you like a fool you may have played me but my heart waylayed me/you i wanna be your baby mommy i wanna be your baby mommy baby mommy baby mommy too rose: oh my god i hate garageband so much rose: i came as fast as i could ROSE: DAVE I LIED.... dave: rose, i mean, i think we can work through this you know, even though... ROSE: NO I LIED.... IM NOT PREGNANT..... IM JUST FAT................ dave: oh rose.............. i dont care........... being pregnant might be against the rules of the mpsa forum, but this isn't shipping us together is not for some reason ........... (worst makeout sounds ever) karkat: im going to throw up john: gross!!! everyone cover your eyes!!! the two naked incestuous pregnant teenagers are..... KISSING gross!!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm dave: apple pie, cheez whiz, [something else unintelligible] rose: that's hot

6. uh oh LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHINGS GOING TO BE OK work out fine after all oh shit [unsure, but probably "who's that"] bro: dave im going to eat ur baby 7. vs bros elton john:CAAAAAAAN you feel dave: bro i dont want to fight you. i just want to have my baby in peace. bro: hah! too bad, ash ketchum! im gary motherfucking oak and i'm hungry for babies so get goddamn shoveling! bro: i'm the king of everything under the sun im just like parappa except i like hot dog buns im gonna beatdown your butt ill contention your face ill eat all the babies in the human race john: why would bro say something like that dave: i dunno. he's never tried to eat my babies before! bro: shut up your face dad, im totally me eatin apple jacks is the way to be haha! how does it feel to be shut down by my superior rapping techniques i will show you the power of the forbidden rhyme - the words that rhyme with THEMSELVES john: this is entirely unimpressive bro: you have yet to see my true power huaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh dave: actually this is retarded im going to bed bro: YOU CANT GO TO BED actually im out of batteries so i'm going to die hat hat cat cat john: how much farther can he go with this? vat vat dave: he's gonna run out of words sometime bat vat oops i said something wrong cause i'm stupid uh uh uh uh i don't i didn't even write anything for this part so yeah TOBY "DON'T CALL ME RADIATION FOX" FOX: actually, a fight sequence was entirely unnecessary, so... it was deleted aaand what happens is that in the end it turns out bro's a robot, i mean, it was just complex, given the fact that this is a normally simple story about, um, uh, you know, like a thirteen-year-old boy giving birth to his brea- best friend, i, it didn't fit the archetypes, so i'm going to uh, move on to the next song, and you can just, just relax a little bit

8. A BABY IS BORN (feat. artemis251 as luigi, chorus singer, kid, and hella jeff) KC GREEN: HEY KIDS,,, THIS IS KC GREEN AND IT'S TIME FOR THE GUNSHOW SINGALONG SHOW I HOPE YOU ALL GOT YOUR FACES READY TO SING A LITTLE TUNE HERE kids: Yay! The singalong! Yay! My face is ready! To sing! LETS GO all: I'm having a baby and the baby is you I'm having a baby and the baby is true Greetings Andrew Hussie this is Radiation How high do you have to be pretty goddamn high havin a baby and the baby is you (is you) havin a baby and the baby is true (is trueeee) OHHHHHHHH IM HAVIN A BABY AND ITS GONNA BE AWESOME WHEN I HAVE A BABY dave: omg its happening IM HAVIN THIS BABY IM HAVIN A BABY ALL OVER YOUR FACE AHFSAHFJHAGJKHAGKJHS fjsahfkashgkjhagjks luigi: actually this is pretty gross arty: PUSH PUSH PUSH mia: i came dave: oh, john it's beautiful its beautiful your beautiful john youre a beautiful baby john: thanks dave I LOVE BEING YOUR BABY/ IM THE BABY. IM THE BABY, ITS ME AND WE ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

mia: i came i came as fast as i could dave: brought to you by the rules of the MSPA Forums hella jeff?: who would even write this conksuck songs anyway? sweet bro?: immigrants? 9. A Baby Legend - The Baby is 2 ???:A hundred thousand years ago, far away in the depths of paradox space, a new life form is about to be created. One whose origin is as enigmatic as the glimmer of a musclebeast's teat. Some are carried in by storks, some are recreated from paradox slime. Other appear wet out of their best friend's magical nonexistent vagina. But regardless of how these beings may be born, they all come into the world with a special force, One called, LOVE. This is the story of one man's search for LOVE and truth in a universe forgotten by time. The story of those fearful creatures Those that we call...... BABIES.

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