My name is Jady and I was diagnosed with OCD and Social Anxiety when I was 15.

I had shown very early signs of OCD when I was around 8 years old but it was thought to just be ‘Child’s behaviour’. When I was 11 years old I was manipulated at school and was made to be incredibly unhappy. This made me physically ill and at the time I was loosing weight and not really wanting to eat anything. I went to the doctors to see why this was happening and from then I was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I was given medication to try and help me out somewhat with the pain I was in. After some time of still being manipulated and unhappy in school I became suicidal. The school decided I should start seeing the school ‘counsellor’ but being 11 and not really understanding what I was going through myself, I felt like it wasn’t working so I stopped going. Around this time I was not showing any signs of OCD, at least not what I or those around me can remember. I was good at hiding how I was feeling and I still am to this day. After sometime I made the decision to be home schooled. Looking back now I realise that it wasn’t the greatest decision but I didn’t want to attend another public school because I was quite simply frightened of not fitting in once again. Once I left public school I decided to cut off any of the last people I was still in contact with and I stayed in the house an awful lot. I started to gain weight which threw me off completely because I was used to having quite a small figure. With this became the lack of self confidence, hating myself and wearing hoodies in the summer, doing my best to cover up. Once I had turned 15 I was still nowhere near confident with my weight and started to attend the gym and do table tennis.

My OCD revolves around contamination compulsions and thoughts. The first compulsion I remember carrying out was at the age of 16. I was in public and I remember I had touched something and all my head thought of was ‘germs’. I asked my mum for the hand sanitizer although it didn’t stop at just one use. Within a short space of time I could not stop thinking of germs and contaminating myself, my belongings and those around me. After a little while I started having other compulsions. I began writing out notes on my phone, these notes were sentences or conversations I had. The reason I was writing down these sentences and conversations is so I could show my mum because I was convinced she would die and I’d never be able to tell her the conversations I had. At this point I was no longer in contact with anyone. I would be scared to go out without either my mum or dad with me, and would prefer that they spoke for me. Having a simple conversation for me would be like the world closing in.

After sitting down and talking with my parents we decided the best thing to do would be to talk with a doctor. My GP said I wasn’t alone in any of this and that he would refer me to the child and adolescent mental health services along with putting me on anxiety medication. I waited for about half a year until I got to speak to somebody in the mental health services. I was then given psychiatrist along with a therapist. After talking with my psychiatrist he diagnosed me with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Social Anxiety. My very first lot of therapy was unsuccessful. I got so far then fell right back again, my therapist also was not the greatest. After speaking to my psychiatrist we both agreed that carrying on treatment within a different service would be a good option. I was now almost 18 so I was referred to IAPT.

My treatment from IAPT was when I turned 19 this year. Next week is my last treatment session. I have my bad days and my ok (ish) days although I thank my therapist for being able to guide me to where I currently am.

On 20th April 2018 I emailed Ashley Fulwood from OCD-UK about possibly working alongside them. Although no paid roles were available upcoming projects and volunteering was mentioned so I said i’d happily get involved. After some time I then got in contact with Sue Milichap who is the Children and young people’s lead at OCD-UK. We spoke about an upcoming project that she is doing and I mentioned about how I don’t socialise. She then mentioned Sarah and said she had spoken on the phone to her and that Sarah was looking to speak to somebody also with OCD and that she’d be happy for Sue to e-mail me her contact details over. I e-mailed Sarah introducing myself, and Sarah did the same back. Since then we have been continously speaking to each other. Sarah briefly mentioned to me that she’d like to do a project on OCD/Mental Health and I said that I had started working on something myself. Two heads are better than one so Sarah and I decided to come together and work on stigma around OCD and mental health disorders. I now consider Sarah to be my friend and we are planning to meet up very soon.

The reason this whole thing has been made possible is due to Ashley, Sue and OCD-UK. If it wasn’t for them me and Sarah would have never started talking. They’ve given us both a lot of support.

My name is Jady and this is who I am.

Thankyou so much for reading, I hope you have a lovely day.