And the Lithuanian equivalent of the KGB decided it was the assault victims who needed to be deported

This amazing event happened during a meeting in Lithuania of Russia’s elite savior class. Present were former world chess champion, Garry Kasparov, runaway member of the State Duma, Ilya Ponomarev, a member of Pussy Riot, Maria Alyokhina, an ex-Human Rights ombudsman, Sergei Kovalev, Masha Gessen who needs no introduction, a former presidential economic policy advisor, Andrei Illarionov, a former vice-prime minister of the Yeltsin-Gaidar government, Alfred Koch and other remarkable persons determined to rescue Russia from Putin’s tyranny.

When asked by a properly accredited crew of the Russian state channel VGTRL how they plan to ‘overcome the political, economic and cultural deadlock’ in their home country, ex-world chess champion turned freedom fighter Garry Kasparov assaulted the journalists. He was joined by social events reporter, Bozhena Rynska, famous for her antics at Moscow opposition rallies. She bravely snatched the reporter’s mobile phone and tried to run away with it.

Naturally, police interfered, soon to be joined by the State Security Department of Lithuania (Secret Police), who deported the VGTRK crew as ‘a possible threat to national security’.

Russia’s liberal opposition finally turned to ‘saving Russia’. Their solutions, as reported by the Russian daily Komsomolskaya Pravda: sanctions, more sanctions, economic blockade. And suddenly, something new:

“Giving portable missile systems to the Syrian opposition so they could shoot down Putin’s ace pilots, like the Americans did in Afghanistan in the mid 80s”.

We’ll see how that turns out.