Gil Smart

Treasure Coast Newspapers

Whenever the discussion turns to nudism — ahem — I recall an episode of the old "Bob Newhart Show" where Bob is to give a lecture at what turns out to be a nudist camp. The director — buck naked — is seated behind a desk in a big leather chair.

Bob asks: "Don't you stick to your chair?"

And speaking of sticky situations involving nudists (sorry!):

Last week, our newsroom got an interesting email from Kai Luckan of Tampa. He, his wife and their 5-year-old daughter were visiting St. Lucie County and decided to spend New Year's Day at Blind Creek Beach.

Which, if you didn't know, is a nude beach.

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Well, not officially; the county has never formally designated Blind Creek Beach as a "clothing optional" beach and there are no county signs identifying it as such. Visitors and folks from the Treasure Coast Naturists have used the beach sans "textiles" since 2014.

They tout its "family-friendly" atmosphere. Which is to say, sometimes there are nude kids on the beach, along with their parents. It's never been a big deal.

It turned into one New Year's Day when Luckan said his family was approached by a St. Lucie County Sheriff's deputy who said he'd gotten a complaint about Luckan's daughter — and the family had to leave.

"He said it was an adult-only beach," said Luckan.

Luckan and his wife offered to cover up the girl. No dice; the deputy insisted they had to go.

Later, in talking to others who frequent the beach, Luckan learned there are often kids there.

"We consider the deputy's action as an embarrassing harassment in violation of our civil rights," said Luckan in his email. He said he might sue.

There will be no lawsuit after St. Lucie County officials conceded the deputy was wrong.

At Blind Creek Beach, said St. Lucie County Sheriff Ken Mascara, the mere presence of nude kids in proximity to nude adults isn't a crime unless it's accompanied by something else — like lewd and lascivious behavior.

"Of course, our duty is to protect the children in our community," said Mascara, "and our deputies err on the side of child welfare, whenever in doubt."

Nonetheless, "we are distributing additional training materials to our deputies to ensure a fun and safe day at the beach for all who enjoy it, in whatever manner they choose to do so," he said.

In fact, said Nelson Jones, president of the Treasure Coast Naturists, decorum is a big deal at Blind Creek Beach.

"We're hyper-aware of what is considered naturist etiquette," said Jones. Behavior guidelines are listed on the group's website. First and foremost, "Apply the golden rule. Your nude beach conduct should be the same as your textile world conduct."

No gawking. No photographing others without their permission, especially where kids are involved.

And, the website mentions this twice: "Public sexual activity is inappropriate and illegal."

"We’re aware of potential gawkers," said Jones. "We notice them; we curb it," he said.

The whole idea is the group is merely a bunch of law-abiding citizens who just like to shed those "textiles" every now and then.

And rock on. Do your thing.

The whole bit about kids, well ...

I asked Luckan: Don't you get a little nervous letting your daughter run around nude in front of a bunch of strangers?

Not at all. He was born in Europe, where "naked children on the beach — at least 'til the age of 6 or so — is the standard situation."

"If there are people on the beach committing illegal activities, its the job of the Sheriff's Office to prevent or prosecute these," he said. "But its not the solution to kick — as a precaution — the 'potential victim' off the beach."

That's right, of course.

Yet I can't shake the notion that where you have a beach with naked kids, you're not only going to attract those who want to live freely and practice body acceptance — but also those who come to see the show.

Child porn is illegal; images of naked children on a computer can get you sent to jail, and rightfully so.

Yet one can go to a "family-friendly" nude beach and get an eyeful of the exact same thing.

Unless you make a spectacle of yourself, law enforcement can't lay a glove on you.

That creeps me out, sorry. I get why the deputy did what he did, even if he was wrong to do it.

Understand what I'm NOT saying: That the naturists are doing anything wrong, or that law enforcement should be keeping "potential victims" off the beach.

To me, letting your kid wander around naked in front of a bunch of people you don't know seems a tad ... unwise.

Maybe that makes me paranoid.

In this day and age, I'd rather be too paranoid than not paranoid enough.

Gil Smart is a TCPalm columnist and a member of the Editorial Board. His columns reflect his opinion. Readers may reach him at gil.smart@tcpalm.com, by phone at 772-223-4741 or via Twitter at @TCPalmGilSmart.