“I honestly can tell you for a fact, I would not be on this planet if Em didn’t love on me when she did.”

Kassidy Heal, 33, of Pomona was speaking of his friend, poet Em Bohlka, 33, who grew up in Claremont and was among dozens of concertgoers killed Friday in a warehouse fire in Oakland.

They had been buddies since attending Bonita High in La Verne. In 2009, Heal was in a deep, seven-year funk after his bandmates hit the road to tour without him. Bohlka was there, encouraging Heal to get up and perform again.

“I was so depressed and at that point, I was agoraphobic,” Heal said. “I was writing and recording, and she was pushing me to play in front of people.”

Bohlka took up stand-up bass to perform with Heal on stage. They began playing in a two-person band called Rope in Hand.

No longer agoraphobic, he saw her as recently as three weeks ago during a trip to the Bay Area.

On Tuesday, Kassidy drove up to Oakland again, this time for a memorial at High Wire Coffee in Berkeley where Bohlka was working. The coffee shop had also employed Donna Kellogg, 32, who also perished in the fire.

Bohlka, a transgender person, was born Matthew Bohlka, and began identifying as female in the past year. Bohlka leaves behind wife Natalie Jahanbani, with whom she moved to Oakland last year after earning a master’s degree in English literature from Cal Poly Pomona.

The couple met working at Starbucks on Foothill Boulevard in La Verne in 2009, around the time Bohlka was attending UC Riverside.

2012 was a big year. Bohlka earned a bachelor’s degree in English from UCR and married Jahanbani. They lived in Pomona for a few years while Bohlka attended Cal Poly Pomona. Jahanbani, a Buddhist, would meditate at the Middle Land Chan Monastery.

“Em was a Buddhist and that was a really important part of her identity,” Jahanbani said by phone Tuesday. “She was a fantastic photographer, so when the monastery would have special ceremonies, they called upon Em to photograph them.”

Jahanbani, who works as a baker in San Francisco, said she and Bohlka moved to Oakland because “of the incredible diversity here.”

On Friday, Jahanbani dropped off Bohlka at the Oakland BART station earlier in the evening so she could meet up with friends to listen to electronic music at the warehouse venue, which had been called “The Ghost Ship.”

Bohlka texted Jahanbani at 10:15 p.m., saying how amazing the venue was and how she couldn’t wait to share more.

The fire, reportedly started by an electrical short at about 11:30 p.m., blocked the one exit. The death toll stands at 36.

“Em was a writer and poet. There’s a small underground writing scene here and small publishers and she was looking to get into that. I’m in food. We were looking to expand our experience and also because there is a strong LGBT community up here,” Jahanbani said.

But there are fond memories, too, of the Inland Valley. Jahanbani fondly remembers walking their dog Baroness, a rescue from the Rancho Cucamonga animal shelter, through the Claremont Colleges and to the Claremont Craft Ales brewery. She also remembers how much the pair loved classic literature and cinema, enjoying Humphrey Bogart movies “The Big Sleep,” “Dark Passage” and “Key Largo.”

“We were like best friends before we were anything,” said Jahanbani, who could not remember a day where they didn’t text each other an affectionate message. “When you have a person that you go to, that’s who we were for each other.”

Despite separating earlier this year, the pair had decided to remain the best of friends and still lived together in an apartment in Oakland.

“We had decided that we obviously needed to move in separate directions, (but) we had this pact with each other, to talk every day and check in with each other and maintain our bond,” Jahanbani said.

Bohlka had been planning a trip to return to the area after Christmas to see family in Claremont, her father Jack Bohlka said by phone. In January, she was planning to begin her new life in Brooklyn, to be active in the LGBT community there.

“She was going to be looking for work there,” Jack Bohlka, who owns CBC Photography in Upland, said. “She always enjoyed New York as well. She had friends there and she was looking to start fresh again in New York.”

Em came out earlier this year, Jahanbani said.

“We had made the decision to separate, but it’s hard because what we had did not fit a title. We still lived with each other and shared a bed until Friday.”

Em’s father left this public message on his Facebook page thanking people for their thoughts:

“Thank you to everyone who is expressing support and love at the devastating loss of my child in the Oakland fire,” Bohlka wrote. “Most of you will remember her as Matt, but recently she began her transition to becoming a beautiful, happy woman. She at last was living as she was meant to live. I only wish she had more time to fully enjoy her life.”

In an interview, Jack Bohlka said he hopes Em’s story will shed a positive light on the transgender community.

“Trans people still live very much in fear for their physical well-being as well as a general sense of being scorned by other people and not being understood,” Jack Bohlka said. “The reason I’m talking to people is to make sure there will be more positive light shed on the trans community.”

Jack Bohlka said wants a criminal investigation into the fire.

“Those sorts of spaces that are physically not safe are the spaces that trans people are relegated to,” Jack Bohlka said. “They feel safe with each other in their communities but not going into a straight bar or night club. The trans community is a very close-knit group. I hope it’s a real issue of (making) safe spaces for them to gather.”

Jahanbani said she plans to cremate Em Bohlka’s remains and bring them to Southern California within the next few weeks.

“Once that process is done, I’ll be driving down to Southern California to be with family,” she said.

“Em was a firm believer in reincarnation, and it’s comforting to know,” Jahanbani said. “We have a beautiful tree outside, and it’s red. Everyday I’ve woken up, and I’ve woken up weeping, and I see her in these moments. Anytime I see the sky. It’s been so beautiful in the bay these last couple of nights, and on Saturday night the moon was beautiful, and I see her in every bit of it. As hard as it is, I see her everywhere and I haven’t felt alone.”

Staff writer Alejandra Molina contributed to this report.