(Ed. Note: As the Stanley Cup Playoffs continue, we're bound to lose some friends along the journey. We've asked for these losers, gone but not forgotten, to be eulogized by the people who knew the teams best: The bloggers who hated them the most. Here are Brad Lee and Laura Astorian of St. Louis Game Time.Again, this was not written by us. Also: This is a roast and you will be offended by it, so don't take it so seriously.)

By St. Louis Game Time

The scene: Outside the United Center in downtown Chicago. A temporary stage has been erected next to two statues. One is the Michael Jordan and the other is covered by a red sheet.

Ed Olczyk: Good afternoon everyone. Welcome to today’s ceremony. I’m Eddie Olczyk. It’s a great day to be a Blackhawk fan like me.

As you know it’s been too long that the Hawks have played here at the Madhouse on Madison without having a statue out front. With all apologies to Mr. Air Jordan here, the UC has needed a hockey statue for a long time. Well at least since the Hawks have been good since 2010. But we’ll get to that.

I think it’s fitting we meet here today, a few days after the Blackhawks cemented their legacy as a dynasty by trying hard in the Western Conference Finals. I know we are all a little disappointed by the Hawks failing to bring the Cup back to the Windy City. I know the NHL already engraved our names... I mean their names on the Cup.

But you can’t deny it. This team is a dynasty. Even though they fell just short of everyone’s expectations. To that, I say good effort.

Let’s recap this dynasty-clinching season.

First, the Hawks decided to rest the two cogs of the machine, Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane, down the stretch. They captured fifth overall in the conference with 107 points. Which put them right where they wanted to be — playing the St. Louis Blues in the first round. Brent Seabrook was a star in that series, eliminating the Blues’ captain David Backes with his physical play. It was almost as if Backes wasn’t even on the ice for part of that series. And Seabrook fit in so well, it was like he wasn’t even out there either.

Speaking of the Blues, we owe them a couple of things. First they decided to draft Erik Johnson with the first overall selection in 2006. Of course we drafted our captain third overall that year. He’d be up here today, but I saw on the Twitters that he’s arguing with a meter maid about a ticket. Apparently he feels like he didn’t do anything wrong. What’s new, am I right?!

The next year at the draft in 2007, the Blues offered three first-round picks for our first pick, the No. 1 overall in the draft. Apparently they wanted this kid from Buffalo named Patrick Kane. I don’t know if Kaner becomes a Blackhawk if we don’t get that reassurance he was the best player in the draft. I mean we only had like one part-time scout at the time. And I think he was watching games on VHS tapes. You know, budget constraints. Because we had trouble selling tickets. Not that you folks here would know about that.

And Patrick Kane, if you weren’t face down in a gutter somewhere in Madison, I know you’d be here smiling. Remember, penicillin is your friend, my friend.

Only Brandon Bollig showed up today. Hey Brandon! You played a couple of important minutes in the playoffs for the Hawks. Emphasis on a couple. But you’re a hockey player. When you probably should have been a firefighter. I kid. But the fire department recruiter is right over there…

I wish Marian Hossa was here. So I could dry his tears. Hydrate, buddy. Hydrate. But I’m glad Nick Leddy isn’t here. He should get a playoff share from the Kings. And I was going to say something nice about Niklas Hjalmarsson, but I’m just not that smart. I’ll give a new Hawks hat to anyone who can spell his name. I’ll spot you the J, A, L, M, A, R, an S, another S, O and N.

Let’s look at how this dynasty was built. Duncan Keith was a second round draft pick in 2002. Someday he might live up to that. Brent Seabrook was a first-rounder and Corey Crawford a second-rounder in 2003. Apparently the scout watching tape thought Bryan Bickell was worth a second round pick in 2004. You heard me talk about Kane and Toews. That’s six guys in five years drafted in the first or second round who are important players on this dynasty. Well, Bryan, don’t blush. What that tells me is that the Hawks have made good decisions.

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