As popular media started using psychological term 'executive functions', more and more parents are learning about the importance of increasing executive functioning capabilities as a critical developmental stepping stone in virtually every area of child’s life. But what is ‘executive functioning’ and how does it relate to your child’s development into a teenager and young adult?

First, executive functioning is not just one thing. It is a wide category of cognitive capabilities that together constitute what it takes to achieve the goals we set for ourselves and the goals set for us by others. When we say, ‘Debbie, the family is going for a vacation and I want you to pack your own suitcase.’ We are asking 12 year old Debbie to engage her executive functioning capabilities. We are asking her to engage short term memory by actually remembering to be packed and ready for an 8 AM departure. We are asking her to plan out (i.e. planning skills) what she will need for a trip that will include time at the beach and family dinners at nice restaurants. We are also asking her to have the organizational skills that will allow her to find her snorkel and flip flops that she hasn't used since last summer. We also assume that Debbie has prepared in advance by making sure that all of her clothes are clean and that she’s thought out everything she needs to bring including one or two school books. Finally, we are asking Debbie to engage her in emotional self-regulation that will keep her calm and even tempered through this entire activity.

These cognitive and self-regulative abilities that are so vital to Debbie’s ability to meet her parents’ expectations develop over time during childhood and adolescence. Full maturity of executive functioning capabilities actually extends into the mid-twenties. Children generally follow a similar path of development as the connections in the frontal lobes of the brain to the impulse centers in the mid brain strengthen. These connections are especially important because they regulate emotion and impulse. They help a young child to manage their frustrated impatience when they don’t get what they want. They help a teenager to learn how to socially interact with others and how to share a conversation.

Some children develop these self-regulation and cognitive capabilities sooner, some later. Some children, often the ones labeled as ADHD or ADD, are especially noted noted to have weak executive functioning capabilities in relation to their peers. Executive functioning limitations are also often accompanied by other developmental limitations such as learning disabilities. These developmental differences and delays can be as much as three to four years. This means that a 12 year old who has been given the diagnosis of ADHD will typically have the emotional self-regulation and organizational capabilities of a child of eight or nine.

It is important to recognize, however, that weaknesses in executive functioning are on a gradient. That is, these weaknesses are not a matter of having or not having a capability but rather a matter of ‘how much’ and ‘for how long’. All children, no matter where they are on the scales of executive functioning capabilities can improve these abilities.

Weaknesses in executive functioning typically become most problematic in the classroom environment where it can manifest in any number of ways. The child who wiggles and jumps up and down due to poor impulse control will get a teacher’s attention right away. But the child who sits quietly with a dreamy inattentiveness is equally debilitated by weaknesses in executive functioning. As children move into junior and senior high school executive functioning limitations will manifest as an inability to write a long paper or organize a project or keep track of assignments.

This does not mean that the classroom environment is the only place where executive functioning limitations are problematic. These limitations show up EVERYWHERE. Lost book bags, wallets, purses, phones, jackets and keys become hallmarks of an inability to plan and organize at a time in life when these skills are increasingly important.

All of this can leave parents with a sense of helplessness about what they can do to help their struggling children. First, it’s important for parents to know that executive functioning capabilities at any age can be improved upon by behavioral exercises. We can literally change our brains. Second, since executive functioning limitations manifest in all aspects of life, parents can make an enormous contribution to supporting the development of their children’s executive functioning outside of classroom hours.

Asking 12 year old Debbie to pack her own bags for vacation is one example. This may be a big challenge for Debbie who does have problems with forgetfulness and lack of organization. How Debbie’s parents work with her on this project can make all the difference.

In the past, Debbie’s mom has come into her room with a list of everything that Debbie needs to pack and watched while she packed it. In this way, she modeled to Debbie, how to do this in an organized way.

This time however, Debbie’s mom is taking a different approach. Instead of managing the entire packing process, Debbie’s mom reminds her early in the morning that she needs to pack. A few hours later she starts a conversation about all the things they will be doing. She makes little comments such as how Debbie will enjoy snorkeling. Debbie may smile and say that her fins are packed or she may jump up and run upstairs to find them. Even later Debbie’s mom might ask Debbie what types of restaurants she wants to go to in the evening. This may prompt Debbie to remember to pack a skirt and a cute pair of shoes.

The importance of this approach is that it is a graduated one. It doesn't transition abruptly from managing everything for Debbie to asking her to manage everything on her own. It provides some supports along the way that will help Debbie develop her skills. This is a critical parenting skill that relates to everything that is done to help Debbie strengthen her brain. Try this type of approach with your own children. In doing so, you can make a huge difference in the quality of your child’s life.

Image Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/denniswong/3459465709