Famous graffiti, seen on many walls, metro seats or bus stand benches:

“God is dead.” signed Nietzsche

“Nietzsche is dead.” signed GOD

Well, the supposed emptiness of the sky is a language shortcut. Looking for a comprehensive metaphysical “truth”, I studied seriously the Chaos theory. If the sky is empty, it’s because creation does not need to come from above, creation comes from chaos, the amazing self-organization implied by entropy. Disorder is the great creator, disorder creates what we call order, self organized structures.

I followed with passion the thin line between determinism and indeterminism traced by Nobel price Ilya Prigogine. He compared the Universe to a person, who, when it was young, could become a doctor or a lawyer, but not both. The whole subtilty is to figure out that, when I decide, the whole Universe decides at the same time. I am, we are, the Universe constantly evolving.

Needless to say that these type of considerations, as fascinating as they can be, does not usually make you shine in society. Loneliness is the burden of the seeker. It appeared to be also the burden of the finder…

This cold, objective, factual truth that I had progressively gathered, and which allowed me to shape my own philosophical system, very few people are interested to hear it. Most people are very satisfied with living in a magical world, so safely satisfied that they can react very aggressively, toward those who try to reveal the tricks behind this magic.

I have spent recently some time on a website called reddit.com, precisely on the atheists forum. I have been quite surprised to see how many of these atheists (mostly americans) think that regular religious believers are cheated into fake beliefs by their priests or by religion itself. That not correct: most believers desire to believe.

In fact, I know personally a few lost souls who have been wandering since decades from one religion to another, trying every guru or personal developement program they could find. They wish to believe. Believing is often a source of relief, sometimes even the way to save one’s life.

Whether there is or not some illusion involved, doesn’t really matter: most of the time a strong faith is a great chance.

So I learned to respect other people beliefs, and to keep my hard cold truth for myself…

Let me precise one thing, and then it will be enough for today. At that time of my story, I was a convinced atheist, silent but convinced. It was almost 15 years ago. My opinion is less black and white today. I still strongly reject superstitions, but i have understood that, for a large part, the main problem is a question of words. Some of the greatest religious thinkers give definitions of their God, that are so close to my idea of philosophical Tao, or scientific entropic process, that you could almost replace the words…

Well, when i reached around 25 years old, I had found what I was looking for, which meant figuring out a philosophical system, that could provide intellectually satisfying explanation for the world around me. And this left me alone, silent, with no clue about how to live in this world…