‘The Sound of Music’ is a classic. But it is too long. If Oscar Hammerstein II had written for a 21st-century website like Buzzfeed, or one of the “news” sites now forfeiting news for click-bait, then he could have delivered the same ideas in a more efficient manner. With this in mind, I am rewriting The Sound of Music for the internet. Here is a sample. I think you will agree that it is an infinitely better work. Thanks, internet!



14 Of My Favourite Things

1. Raindrops on roses

2. Whiskers on kittens

3. Bright copper kettles

4. Warm woollen mittens

5. Brown paper packages tied up with strings

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6. Cream-coloured ponies

7. Crisp apple strudels

8. Doorbells

9. Sleigh bells

10. Schnitzel with noodles

11. Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings

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12. Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes

13.Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

14. Silver white winters that melt into springs

with apologies to Rodgers & Hammerstein