It’s no secret that I fancy myself as something of a writer. As such, I’m always looking out for what’s happening on the literary scene.

I’m particularly interested in what’s going on in the world of publishing. I’m pretty certain that no publishing house would ever be interested in anything I would write. So my only hope really is the world of self-publishing.

The Kindle has revolutionised the literary world. It’s easier than ever to get into reading. But it’s also changed publishing too. Now pretty much anyone can just shovel content onto the Kindle store via Amazon. And suddenly… BOOM, you’re a published author.

There is no better example of this than Hunter Fox.

Hunter Fox has a total of 63 published works on Amazon UK. For comparison, Shakespeare wrote around 40 plays, and Dickens wrote just under 20. The guy is prolific as hell.

However, as we waltz through his quote unquote bibliography, a remarkable trend emerges. Basically every book is the same. Here are some selected highlights:

Erm, what? Common themes include:

Aliens (wtf is an alien hound btw?)

Mythological beasts

Robots

Being “turned” gay

Being “forced” gay

Being “punished”

Here’s a great one:

GAY UNDERWATER LOCH NESS ADVENTURE – HUNTER FOX

What. Is the Loch Ness Monster real now? Real and gay? And surely the fact that it’s going to be underwater is a given?

I get it, it’s a fantasy. But it’s super weird and random. At least with stuff like A Griffin Tore Me Up you can just be like “yeah ok I guess this is standard fare for weird fan-fiction fantasy.” But Nessie? I don’t understand how this happened.

In an effort to get to the bottom of things, I sacrificed my personal dignity (and Amazon.co.uk personal recommendation engine) and rented out A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay because I think it has the funniest title. Don’t worry, I’m renting it via a free trial of the Kindle Unlimited service, so it’s not costing me anything.

I shall now read this book. Until I get back, please enjoy the cover.

Done! Ok that literally took five minutes to read. It is a very short novel. Amazon.co.uk’s estimated reading time of 15 minutes was overly generous. The site also says that is has 3,500 words, making this “novel” about the same length as one of my longer short stories. Maybe I should publish mine.

What was the book about? Well, the title literally says it all. A guy gets a job working for a billionaire dinosaur (the book lampshades this saying that dinosaurs got rich on the stock market in the 80s??), who then homosexually assaults him. In graphic detail. The end.

Some choice quotes:

“My father never liked the dinosaurs ever since they began taking control of the world economy” “I had never been with a male before, let alone a male dinosaur!”

The writing is all pretty terrible and horribly, horribly explicit. I’d recommend against reading this yourself even out of curiosity.

Interestingly, the book ends on a cliffhanger of sorts with the narrator promising vengeance on the billionaire dinosaur CEO. Part 2 of A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay is available now apparently.

I wish I could un-read this book.

So what the hell is going on, exactly? Well, it seems that Fox has found himself a little niche market to dump content into. Cheap, easily reproducible stories involving gay fantasy that will each appeal to a minuscule, yet highly engaged audience. There’s that not that many people into dinosaur homosexual rape, but those that are, really are. And sure they might just pay the £2.11 for the privilege of reading this story. Repeat ad nauseam 63 times and you’ve got yourself a little money maker.

I guess I’m just annoyed I didn’t think of it first.