Part of coming off as a confident person whom women want to talk to is dressing for the part. This doesn’t mean you have to drop loads of cash on designer duds, however. It means dressing in a way that makes you feel awesome and shows that you have your own unique style. You do this by thinking about items that get you the most compliments (for me it’s a pair of well-worn red cowboy boots). My girlfriend does this by accident — she never leaves the house without her Amelia Earhart-esque aviator hat and a gigantic studded peacock necklace. She literally peacocks, and it gets her tons of attention (admittedly, some of it unwanted). Dressing uniquely helps you stand out among the sea of flannel and Doc Martens, and it helps to bolster conversations by giving ladies something to remark upon.



On the flip side, do notice and comment on other people’s clothing items/hairstyles/amazing boat shoes. Lesbians love to accessorize and are usually happy to discuss the finer points of bow ties, manicures, undercuts, or messenger bags with you.

Caveat: Don’t dress like somebody else because you think that’s how a “smooth” person dresses. Remember when there were at least a dozen Shane lookalikes at every queer party fidgeting with their carefully messed up hair and talking to no one? It’s awkward when you look uncomfortable in your own skin. Be yourself. You do you. You’re great.