ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A one-room cafe in the Betoota Heights Industrial Park has been found to go through more Turkish bread than the entire nation of Turkey.

The Industrial Estate Cafe on Greenbryer Road was audited by the Australian Tax Office this year after they claimed to have bought and sold almost four billion loaves of Turkish bread last financial year.

Turkey only consumes a paltry 3.8 billion loaves.

During the ensuing investigation, investigators and auditors from the nation’s most enduring branch of public service found that owner-operator Gary Doolan did, in fact, use that much Turkish bread.

The ATO owes him an apology, Doolan says.

“I’m not dodgy,” he said.

“I just use a lot of Turkish bread. We put everything on Turkish, there’s no sourdough here. Nothing cures a mild hangover like a bacon and egg roll on Turkish with a mugachino to wash it down,”

“Do the maths. My cafe is the only one in the area and there’s like 40 businesses in the park. It’s basically workshops, car salesmen and accountants. The type of human that’s not a bread snob. A few more for outliers and such and bang! Four billion loaves later, I’ve got Magnum PI going through my bank accounts. I’m having a go, so give me a go!”

More to come.

