A few weeks ago I was at Anime Los Angeles, and was talking to a friend who had only been to one convention before. I had been talking about a shoot I did with a group of cosplayers and said, “Well I did the shoot in the photographers hotel room…” and her eyes widened slightly in horror. “Oh! Oh no, nothing like that. A lot of people here do that out here.” But, what do I tell this person about shoots to let them know that they’re safe?

If you don’t frequent cons in big cities, chances are the only time you’ve heard the phrase “Private Cosplay Photoshoot” was when raunchy photographers were exposed for taking advantage of younger girls. The truth is,There’s no hidden twist, you don’t have to shed any skin. It’s actually pretty common to meet with a talented photographer and take private photos for (usually) free of charge. Especially in Los Angeles.

Guide for Cosplayers and Parents:

Always text a person your location, no matter who it’s with: I’ve shot with several photographers dozens of times. I have a lot of them added on Facebook, and it’s safe to say I know them personally. But even though I know them, each and every time I go off and meet someone for a shoot, I text a friend or family member EXACTLY where I’ll be and who I’m with.

I’ve shot with several photographers dozens of times. I have a lot of them added on Facebook, and it’s safe to say I know them personally. But even though I know them, each and every time I go off and meet someone for a shoot, I text a friend or family member EXACTLY where I’ll be and who I’m with. You decide how comfortable you are with a certain pose: You might think, “If I don’t do what the photographer wants they’re going to stop shooting with me!” There are dozens of photographers, more every day, who will take your photo at conventions. If someone is pushing you into showing something or moving a certain way you

don’t like, don’t hesitate to stop or say something. You feeling comfortable with the photos is the most important thing

The majority of cosplay shoots aren’t sexy anymore: Well, you’re all adorable. That’s a given. But if you don’t want to be sexy, you don’t have to be. You might think because the majority of cosplay photos that get published in mainstream media are pretty sexy, that’s how all photoshoots have to be. They don’t. A lot of favorite shoots done by photographers have been either cute, action packed, or hilarious.

Well, you’re all adorable. That’s a given. But if you don’t want to be sexy, you don’t have to be. You might think because the majority of cosplay photos that get published in mainstream media are pretty sexy, that’s how all photoshoots have to be. They don’t. A lot of favorite shoots done by photographers have been either cute, action packed, or hilarious. Don’t send nudes or pose naked for photographers who pressure you: If at any moment at all, a photographer says “you need to give me naked pictures so I can take your photo better” or pressure you to take off clothes without your consent, you can immediately stop talking to them.

You can block them, delete them, etc., cut off all communication. If they sent you something inappropriate on chat or email, immediately screen shot it, post it in every cosplay group, send it to all your friends, let everyone know that this particular photographer has lost your truth. We will not be angry with you, we will support you. No matter how much we like someone’s photos, we like our community more.

Go through the photos with the photographer to make sure you’re ok with all of them: I did a shoot with Nick Nack’s Photography at Anime Los Angeles this year. I wasn’t paying attention and I bent over too far and accidentally showed too much skin. (i.e. underpants) I asked him to see it after I realized, and asked him to delete it. He then pulled up the rest of the pictures an said, “Ok! Do you want to look through the other ones and delete the ones you aren’t comfortable with?” Which really made me feel safe trusting him with my photos.

Guide for Photographers:

Don’t be offended if a cosplayer takes excessive percausions: If you’re shooting with someone new, there’s a good chance they don’t know what to expect. Be prepared for phrases like, “ok my mom is coming with me”, or “I want to stay near people”, and “my boyfriend is only five miles away.” It’s nothing against you. They want to stay safe. Which, if you’re a safe person, you should have no problem with. You might get the urge to say, “Don’t worry about it. I’m a good guy.” You might be a great person, but the cosplayer has no way of knowing that. Instead of that, say “Alright! I respect whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

Learn their age beforehand: I’ll be the first to say it. I have no idea if certain people are 14 or 26 when they’re in cosplay. Everyone looks so different. It’s always better to be safe than sorry, and make sure the person you’re shooting with isn’t too young. Do not, under any circumstances, do any private shoots with someone under the age of 18 unless their parent or guardian is present. DO NOT EVER EVER TAKE “SEXY” PHOTOSHOOTS WITH SOMEONE UNDER 18. I DON’T CARE IF THEIR PARENTS, GAURDIANS, CON STAFF, THE POLICE, OR THE POPE HIMSELF SAY IT’S OK. JUST DON’T DO IT.

Find out if the cosplayer is ok with being tagged on their personal facebook account before you do it: This is a tricky one that people forget. If you tag someone on facebook, it usually pops up on their feed before they have a chance to approve it. That might be a risky move, if they have friends, family and work colleagues on their Facebook. There are definitely photos I would not want my grandma seeing. (Or, being added to the family photo calendar my cousin makes every year.)

Make sure your own needs are made clear when sending them photos: If you would like credit whenever the cosplayer posts the photos, don’t hesitate to let them know before sending them. You guys are working as a team to make great content, it’s important that you’re happy with how the photos are shared too!