If he only had a brain!

An Argentinian shepherd was found dead after having sex with a scarecrow that he had dolled up in a wig and lipstick – and manned up with a strap-on sex toy, according to The Daily Mirror.

Neighbors reported a foul odor emanating from the San Jose de Balcare home of Jose Alberto, 58, whose rotting remains were found by police next to his stuffy date.

“I initially thought there were two bodies but then I realized one was a scarecrow wearing lipstick and a long-haired wig,” said Rodolfo Moure, a spokesman for the prosecutor’s office. “It was lying next to the deceased and had a six-inch strap-on penis.”

The scary scene showed no signs of violence between the lovers, he added.

“We are working on the assumption that the man died during sex with the scarecrow,” Moure said. “We are now waiting the results of an autopsy.”

The apparently reclusive Albert lived alone and didn’t have a cellphone.