Cutting human rights only way to catch terrorists who go on Channel 4 to talk about their extremism, says PM

The prime minister has explained that removing your human rights is the only way she can be sure to catch terrorists who go on Channel 4 documentaries to talk about their extremist tendencies.

Just 24 hours before the polls open for the 2017 general election, Theresa May said that human rights are a ‘nice to have’ that she is willing to ditch if it helps her catch terrorists she definitely couldn’t have caught any other way.

She told reporters, “In the age of technology we have to adapt the way we fight terrorism, and if that means we lose a few human rights along the way, then so be it.

“Giving me more control over absolutely everything you do and say is the only way we can guarantee our security services can spot terrorists who go on national television to talk about their extremism.

“We cannot sit idly by and let you live in a free society if it means we miss television programmes that would have handed us a terrorist on a plate.

“Our critics will tell you that maybe doing better with the intelligence we already have might be a better next step in the fight against terror, but I am here to tell you it is not – I need to strip you of your human rights to keep you safe.

“You can trust me, I’ll do it strongly and stably.”