Madison, WI—

Speaking to reporters in a Madison airport, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan was asked what his favorite memorabilia from his political career was.

“Definitely I would say it would have to be a coffee cup I received from the Koch Brothers a few Christmases ago. They’ve always been such big patrons of my career, and it warms my heart that they appreciate what I do for them. The coffee cup says ‘World’s Best Congressman’ on it, with a cute little first-place trophy icon at the bottom, and, honestly, winning their approval has been the biggest accomplishment of my life. Their cash donations are nice, too. No seriously, they’ve done so much for me. Too much. Way too much. It’s probably not even legal. They gave me $500,000 last month, like, what can I say? It’s like I was adopted by two elderly men and given the world. Just two very happy old men working in politics together and very interested in sponsoring a young, baby-faced pro-business representative from Wisconsin with millions of dollars. It’s like my life has been a great, American pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps story.”

At least he’s honest…

(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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