I didn’t really get to enjoy much of Washington during the four years I lived there, what with getting crippled up and all. But I made some good friends, and I wouldn’t want them to be engulfed in nuclear fire. Well, not most of them, anyway…

Kyle Mizokami, Popular Mechanics:

North Korea certainly had a busy weekend. The country released an odd, bombastic video of its country nuking Washington D.C…

The bizarre video is narrated in English by a commentator using vocal fry and weird 80s-style music. Despite these quirks, there’s nothing funny about the message to the Washington: back off, because we can nuke you, too.

“If the U.S. imperialists and the South Korean traitorous Park Gyeun-he group stretch their tentacles of aggression and war to the DPRK, from the moment[?], the aggressors and provocateurs will face the most absurd and painful self-destruction of digging their own tombs with their hands.”

Well, maybe it lost something in translation. Let’s hope the Norks’ nuclear capabilities aren’t any further advanced than their CGI. That last part looked like a CD-ROM game from 1994.

Popular Mechanics also has another video from the Norks, threatening to attack Seoul. I don’t care so much about that because I don’t know anybody there, but I hope that doesn’t happen either. I like their soap operas and pop music. Oh, and their tacos!