Me: “Thanks for choosing [Pizza Place]. Can I get your phone number, please?”

(The customer provides his info.)

Me: “It looks like you’ve already placed an order a few minutes ago. Did you need to change something?”

Customer: “Yeah. My roommate is being a total woman over here. He doesn’t want to eat pizza.”

Me: “Weird. I’m a woman, and I eat pizza all the time.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, you know. Not a cool woman like you, but like a vegetarian or something.”

Me: “I’m a vegetarian.”

Customer: “Well, you know. I mean… uh…”

(The customer explains his friend has an ulcer and cuts his order down to just one pizza.)

Me: “Anything else?”

Customer: “No. I’m not calling here ever again. I promise.”