mrenabeena Sun 05-May-19 12:44:55

I’ve NCd because I would be mortified if this were to be linked to my usual NN.



I just moved in with my partner and it’s been an incredibly stressful move as half our stuff initially went missing because the delivery company went to the wrong address then tried to bill us extra as they claimed it was our mistake!



And that is just the tip of the iceberg.



I had to use DP’s laptop whilst the main computer was awol and came across a video of him having anal sex with his ex. I felt like I’d been punched in the gut and even though I know logically that it was something he did before he met me, I can’t help but feel upset.



He has never tried to have anal with me or even suggested it which makes me wonder why and if I’m boring in bed. He looked so into her in the video and I desperately wish I’d never seen it but the image is now burning on my mind.



I haven’t told him that I’ve seen it and the rational part of me thinks that I have no right to confront him as it is his past and we all have a past and exes.



But the irrational part of my brain thinks that I don’t ever want to have sex with him again. I am disturbed by what I saw to the extent that I can’t bear the thought of him ever touching me again.



This happened a week ago and I’ve been making the excuse that I’m sleeping in the spare room because I need proper rest for work (he is a snorer). But at some point I know I need to confront this or else the relationship is doomed.