Stop Five

Bumble Bee

by Erik Adkins | The Slanted Door, San Francisco

Jeffrey Morgenthaler: "One night, a couple of years ago, I was working at the Clyde and this woman comes in and says she just moved to Portland and her bartender in San Francisco said she had to come to me for cocktails. I asked her who her bartender was and she said, "Erik from The Slanted Door. He always made my favorite drink: the Bumble Bee." The Bumble Bee is a classic Charles H. Baker drink. I knew I could totally make that! So I make it for her and I’m super-precise and careful. I made the best Bumble Bee I’ve ever made. I give it to her and I watch her reaction and I’m like, "Well?" And she’s like, "Ehhh, it’s pretty good."

My ego is thinking, "It’s fuckin’ pretty good? It’s fucking amazing." So to the woman, I’m like, "Whatever. Welcome to the neighborhood. That’ll be $9." Later that night, I text Erik because it’s still stuck in my craw. I’m like, "Okay, motherfucker. What’s your fuckin’ recipe?" Of course he gives it to me—he doesn’t really think that he’s as good as he is. He doesn’t know. I see the recipe right off and I’m like "Fuck, of course!" His recipe is slightly different and it’s amazing.

So a week later, this woman comes back and I say, "Guess what? I talked to Erik and I got his recipe. I’m going to make that drink that you love the exact same way." Then, I make it even more carefully—with Erik’s specs and all the details—and I know it’s right because he’s not the kind of guy to throw me off the scent. So I make it, and put it in front of her, and ask, "What do you think?" She’s like, "Yeah, it’s good." And I’m like, "That motherfucker!"

A couple months later, I’m in San Francisco and I go to his bar and I’m like, "Yeah, douchebag, make the Bumble Bee." And when I take a sip I remember what Jon Santer always says about Erik Adkins: ’Erik sprinkles magic pixie dust on all of his drinks. Even if you make the same exact drink, the same exact way, it will never be as good as Erik’s.’

And I hate his guts. If you want to go see him, he manages the bar at The Slanted Door. He’s the big, dumb looking bald guy."