I get in today to find that the backup process hosed the website. This has happened before. So, I kill the backup process. Website still hosed. So I restart Plesk. Everything is hosed. So I reboot the server. It doesn’t come back. So I call GoDaddy. They reboot the server. It doesn’t come back. They do it again. It doesn’t come back. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. So I let them do that and look for solutions. “Hey, I’m not getting mail!” Right, that server had DNS as well. So I setup DNS elsewhere and change WHOIS and wait. Website. Okay. So I setup a VPS and install everything. Is 384 enough? No? Okay, resize to 1GB. Oh, that’s going to take four hours? WTFBBQ Slicehost? Really? FU. Call GoDaddy. Still rebooting it. Fine. Setup new website from backup. Where’s the backup server? What’s that smell? OhwhatthelivingHELLhappened. THE MAGIC SMOKE IS COMING OUT. Unplug. So, that was the backup to the site that won’t come up. Call GoDaddy. Still rebooting. Guys, are you rebooting the right server? Ohwaitwhatthefuck. Nope. Reboot the right server. No va. Sure it’s the right server? No, will look into it. OH MY GOD THIS IS WHAT YOU DO‽‽ “Hey, mail is working!” Ah, WHOIS updated. Okay. Update DNS with the right info. Oh, right, DNS is down and the records with it. Guess. Guess correctly. There we go. “The website is still down!” Yes. Yes, it is. Call GoDaddy. “Rebooting isn’t working.” Oh, really? Get back! Moving on. Where’s the backup PSU for the backup of the site? What backup PSU? What’s the wattage … 600W. What size spares do we have? 250W, of course. We need a new PSU. “Hey, can’t we just get a Mac Mini and put it all on there?” I will love you forever if we do that. Remember to get backup drives. And AppleCare. Dear God, get AppleCare at this rate. Okay, check the website. Not up. Check the GoDaddy account for the server. What server? WHAT SERVER‽ IT’S NOT IN THE ACCOUNT ANYMORE‽‽ FFFFFUUUUUUUUUU

HOLY HELL IT’S FIVE ALREADY.

I want a do-over. I think I took a wrong turn somewhere. This day was clearly intended for someone else.