Given my particular background, I have always been a “foreigner” somewhere, with a difficult-to-pronounce name.

Growing up, I only felt “normal” within the confines of our home where my parents and brother, naturally, looked like me.

When I was a teenager, a classmate once encouraged some of her friends to make a ranked list of the girls in class by beauty. I continued to work on my math problems as she laughingly ran through the list and read out my name last. Beautiful or not, I was determined to ace my math test.

I contained my tears until I was able to run into my parents’ arms and confide in them the humiliation of being so un-beautiful.

My father said, “That’s impossible. You look like me and I am very handsome.” Thus lightening the mood, my parents gave me constructive words of advice that have served me well in life. They reminded me that the world is made up of different kinds of people, many of whom strive for high ideals. They warned that I would hear cruel name-calling, face discrimination on multiple levels, but said I should never take that personally.

They helped me to understand that other people can never define who I am, with their opinions or decrees. Only I have the privilege to define who I am, by my words, my actions, my reactions, my friendships, and my joy of being alive.

In particular, my father said, “The best reaction to hatefulness or discrimination is to keep peace in your heart, and to enjoy life as a gift from God.”

My parents’ reminder to not allow name-calling to affect my self-worth served me well in post-9/11 New York City, where in the midst of solidarity, there simmered anti-Muslim fervor. Every day on the subway ride, I would don my invincible cloak of peace and remind myself that I am defined by my words and actions, not by the fear and intolerance projected by anyone else.

In the last year, I have watched a TV personality tap into an existing undercurrent of racism, and unleash vitriol on immigrants, people of color, Muslims, women. Social media has become an easy platform for raging and blinding hate.

According to some, people like me are ostensibly the physical embodiment of that which is preventing America from being great. I don’t buy this rubbish, because I have the fortune of defining myself on my own terms, and not by the malice of animosity and discrimination.

But I can imagine what it must feel like to be growing up as a Muslim or an immigrant in America. Any terrorist attack carried out in the name of Al-Qaida or Islamic State group casts doubts on you.

If you are silent, you are complicit; if you say something, it’s not enough for a cyber-crew of haters and political demagogues.

You live in a country where politicians, while insisting they don’t support racism, still endorse a racist as the potential leader of the free world.

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You can be accomplished like Huma Abedin, Hillary Clinton’s Michigan-born aide, and still face allegations that you’re a terrorist agent.

You can be the popular two-term president of the United States, and still be accused of being in cahoots with the enemy — or, supposedly worse — of being a Muslim.

So, I want to remind you that in reality there is an abundance of beauty and good in the people around you; Republicans, Democrats, LGBT people, Hindus, Jews, Christians, atheists. (Why judge others by labels, when we ask to not be defined by them?)

There is some bad, but do not be disheartened. Instead, use this as an opportunity to strengthen the muscles of your tenacity, and the peace of your soul. You know what Islam is. It is the religion of peace; live up to that in your words, actions and reactions.

A tenet of Islam is to do your best, and leave the rest to God. It does not matter what cruel names anyone calls you, or that you are misunderstood by association. Wear your invincible cloak of goodness, and keep peace in your heart.

Do not be inflamed by incendiary grandiloquence. The best antidote to the poison of hate is the freedom to live a good life, filled with gratitude and joy. Wherever you go, walk in peace, and on the way you will find many others of the same mindset, from all walks of life, religion, race, orientation.

Life is short, and it is a privilege to be alive, so don’t waste any time being hurt by the pomposity of an unhinged narcissist, or the hateful rage of racism on social media, or the vile killing rhetoric of the likes of Islamic State. Whether you wear a hijab or not, whether you want to be a scientist or an artist, whether you are black or white, or any hue in between, define the peace of Islam in your own way.

Islamic State is not Islam, and your faith is distinct from bombast and evil.

Be assured that you are valued. Be the best Muslim you can be, by being humble, smart, engaged, kind, humorous, and calm in the face of fury. Be tenacious, be self-assured, speak out. Make friends, volunteer to help in your wider community, be open to the goodness of those around you, be learned, stand up for any group of people who are also being discriminated against or marginalized.

Be an excellent Muslim, by being an excellent citizen of the United States. Be a model Muslim, by being a model human.

To those who do not know any Muslims, and are afraid, I hope you will get to know one. Your heart will be at peace as you discover our shared humanity. And to those who will continue to hate Muslims because you cannot dissociate a religion from a deranged killing cult, or because you simply want to hate, extra peace be upon you.

Nazli W. Hardy, MBA, Ph.D., is an associate professor of computer science at Millersville University, and a Millersville resident.