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There are two types of people in this world: those who know what a rusty trombone is and those who don't. If you're in the second group, congratulations, you're about to join the first! A rusty trombone is the act of giving a rim job (the "rusty" part) and a hand job (the "trombone" part) at the same time — simultaneously licking your partner's anus and reaching around to give them an HJ.

The name is admittedly silly. "Rusty trombone" sounds like an urban sex legend rather than a real thing you could do with your partner tonight. And you could do this tonight! And it could be very hot! The combination of anal and penile stimulation can be explosive for the receiver and make the giver feel like a sex goddess.

Ostensibly few couples are doing the RT (rusty trombone, let's make this acronym a thing) on the reg, though. It's more common in porn than in people's IRL sex lives. This isn't just because people don't know what it is; it's also because anal play can be intimidating. But it doesn't have to be. Ahead, expert tips on how to play your own trombone at home.

1. Talk with your partner about if/how the RT will play out.

Hint: chances are the rimming will be the hornier thornier issue.

Surprise butt stuff is never, ever a good idea. Like ever — so don't sneak it into sex to see how your partner reacts, discuss it first. "See if they're open to trying it," sex educator and former porn performer Kelly Shibari advises. "If they are, discuss everything from cleanliness to how far they're willing to go — rimming only? Rimming and a tongue in there? Rimming and a finger? No tongue-rimming but they're cool with a lubed finger circling the outside?" Get super specific, then stay the course when the action starts unless you talk about switching it up.

If you're not even sure how to start that conversation, "Honestly, articles like this are a great way to break the ice," Shibari points out. Some straight dudes are worried that butt play is "only for gay guys," she sighs, even though enjoying prostate stimulation has literally nothing to do with your sexuality. It can be helpful to parse some of these stereotypes with your guy before diving in. If the conclusion of the convo is that they're just not interested, that's cool too! But if they are, proceed to step two.

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2. Have your partner clean up, but they don't need to douche.

Shibari tells me that she's really only ever rimmed guys in porn before — and that there are benefits to this. "Male performers on a porn set are tested, showered, shaved pretty much everywhere," she says. "You don't really have any surprises lurking there" — for example, an unexpected forest of hair or lurking fecal matter. Sorry for that, but we're talking about ass play here. If you've made it this far, you knew what you were in for.



And on that note, while showers or at least baby wipes can help you and your partner feel more comfortable about analingus, remember that "it's unrealistic to expect that a butthole be 100% free of any smells or tastes," sex educator and founder of Spectrum Boutique Zoë Ligon says. "I discourage folks from anal douching simply because it is very harsh on the body's natural anal lining."

3. You might want to take off your lipstick for this one.

When rimming, "I always opted for a bare lip, or rather, by the time things got around to that on set, my lipstick was pretty gone," Shibari laughs. "Anything you have on your lips will probably end up on your cheeks, because butt cheeks." She says to avoid goopy lip glosses, and points out that you can use your free hand to gently push one butt cheek away to keep lube / spit / your Chapstick from smearing all over your face. Although it might end up there anyway. If you were looking for a neat and tidy sex move, you came to the wrong article.

4. Play an overture before you get to the trombone symphony (ugh sorry, foreplay, I'm talking about how you should do foreplay).

"I highly recommend lots and lots of teasing before going straight for the asshole," sex therapist Vanessa Marin says. "The whole backside area is full of nerve endings, so you don't want to miss out by going straight for the asshole itself." She suggests kissing, licking, and stroking that sexy curve between your partner's thighs and butt cheeks, massaging their cheeks with your hands, and exploring their butt crack and perineum with your fingers. This'll help them relax and be more receptive to your tongue and lips.

5. You can use lube on both sides, but definitely use it for at least the hand job.

While your rim job will have the lubrication of at least your saliva, the hand-penis combo has no such luck. Squeeze a little lube into your hand and, if you like, apply a little to your partner's anus before the RT. "In general, I'm not a fan of flavored lubes because they can have some gross chemicals in them," Marin says, but if you do want to try flavored lube, she recommends Wicked Sensual Care's body-safe line, as does Shibari. (Mint chocolate chip and salted caramel? I mean, why not?) As far as the hand job goes, lube will reduce friction, meaning more fluid, pleasurable motions. Opt for a silicone or hybrid lube, since it tends to last longer on skin.

6. Steer clear of bacteria and STIs.

STIs can be transmitted through rimming, since viruses and bacteria can transfer from genitals to the anal area and vice versa. That's just one of the many reasons everyone should get tested on a regular basis. Rimming also carries some risk of bacterial infection. "Any type of virus or bacteria that can be transmitted via poop, such as Hepatitis A, can be transmitted via anilingus," Ligon says. You can use a dental dam to decrease your risks, however. Ligon recommends applying a bit of lube on the side of the dam in contact with your partner for a better sensation for them. (After the act, you can "use an antiseptic mouthwash, and swish gently, but not a toothbrush right away," Shibari says, since that might cause microscopic gum scratches that viruses or bacteria could enter.)

7. Have your partner stand or lie on their back.

The most common way to do this is have your partner stand with their legs slightly apart while you kneel behind them, stick your face in their butt, and reach around them to grasp their penis. It's not the only option, though. You can also have your partner lie on their back with their butt off the edge of the bed, then stack pillows on the floor underneath them until you can rest your head on them and your tongue has access to their anus. Then, Ligon says, "you can wing your elbows out to the side and grasp the penis above your head."

8. Use flat, wide tongue strokes.

"While every person likes different types of stimulation, broad, flat strokes with the tongue tend to disperse the pressure in a more pleasurable way," Ligon says. "If you use your entire tongue and let part of your tongue hit the perineum, you can also indirectly stimulate their prostate, which many folks also enjoy." After these wide strokes, "try honing in on the asshole itself, and working your tongue around it in circles," Marin suggests. And, of course, always get enthusiastic consent before moving on to the next stage: don't assume that just because your partner wanted a rim job you can stick your tongue in there too.



9. Improve your HJ game by trying twisting motions, the "infinite hole" technique, and frenulum stimulation.

Honestly, props to you if when you're giving a rusty trombone you manage anything other than a simple up-and-down-the-shaft motion with your hands. If you want major coordination points, though, try twisting your hand back and forth as you grip the shaft. Or, deploy Ligon's infinite hole technique, where you "move your hand downward along the shaft, and place your other hand on top of that hand," as she explained. "Before the head reaches the end of your top hand, remove the lower hand and place it on top to continue the sensation." You can do it in the reverse direction, too. Also, that ridge of tissue underneath the penis head? That's the frenulum — it's super sensitive, and stimulating it with your thumb and forefingers is generally an A+ move.

10. Ask your partner to return the favor.

You did it! You performed the rusty trombone! Now your partner can give you the female-body-specific equivalent and combine rimming with fingering. If you're guessing that there'd be a cutesy term for this, too, you're absolutely right: it's called a "rusty trumpet."



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Hayley MacMillen Hayley MacMillen covers sex, relationships, and health.

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