Hi! It looks like you’re an asshole from Twitter (or Tumblr, reddit or Medium) who thinks they’re entitled to my time! You’re probably getting the autoresponse, over and over, until I get bored with the responses showing up in my timeline and block you, so you’re basically shouting into the void.

I’m not able to talk to assholes (misogynists, MRAs, #GamerGaters, etc) for free, though, because I have better things to do. If you want me to actually read the pile of shit you’re sending me, it is $50 for me to read a max of 140 characters (a tweet) and respond to you, plus $25 for every consecutive tweet after that. I will respond to tweets I have been commissioned to read, but please include an extra $15 if you want a guarantee that I say anything other than “lol nope”.

You may use PayPal to send money. Please specify exactly what you are paying for and your Twitter username so that I know to unblock you for as long as it takes for you to send your tweets.

Have a lovely day! Jackass.