It seems we’re never quite sure how to portray Santa’s elves in movies. Either they’re oppressed minorities, ready to rise up and overthrow Santa at the drop of a candy cane, or they’re evil. The idea, I think, being that they’d have to be evil to subject themselves to such a life, because there must be an ulterior motive. Maybe they’re the ones making the cheap toys that break a day after you get them, forcing you to cry for a week. Stupid Gobot.

↓ Transcript SANTA: What would you like for Christmas little kitty?

MITTENS: A tomahawk.



SANTA: I'm sorry my feline friend, but I don't think that's safe nor politically correct these days.

MITTENS: It's not for me! It's to use on that guy over there who texted throughout the movie.



SANTA: Hang on, I may have something more appropriate.

ELF: Would Santa like his war club?



