If these freaks of nature actually exist (and we really hope some of them don't), it proves beyond doubt that the whole world is just one big pile of bat-shit blithering fuckcrazy.

Every country has its own Bigfoot. Some are terrifying, some are awesome, and some are just plain ridiculous. We've found the seven creatures that manage to be all three.

7 Tanzania: Popobawa

Tanzania is the perfect holiday destination for people who enjoy hot weather, beautiful sunsets and being sodomized in their sleep by an ethereal, bat-winged penis ogre.

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Legend says that the beast known as Popobawa has been menacing the Tanzanian island of Pemba in his own unique style ever since the '70s. He can be identified by his smell (reputed to be quite pungent), and also by the fact that he is a one-eyed flying ogre with his spam javelin lodged in your rectum. He attacks only men, sneaking into their houses at night and buttburgling them for up to an hour, then--in an oddly familiar twist to anyone who reads superhero comics--demanding that they tell all their friends about him.

Crime has a new enemy. His name is PenisOgreRapistMan.



Popobawa has one eye, which is one more than this artist.

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We know what you're thinking, that this legend got started because some dude's wife expressed curiosity about the odd grunts and slaps she heard when she came home unexpectedly one day. The dude quickly threw out a story about an implausible marauding fuckmonster while the gardener hid in the closet and quickly put on his trousers.

That would not however explain the actual hysteria that surrounds the Popobawa, and the many alleged sightings. What would explain it is their country being full of flying rape ogres.

How Do We Kill It?

There is no silver bullet for the Popobawa in folklore. However a mob did successfully hack a Popobawa to death once, though at the time the creature had taken the form of a random mentally ill villager. It is entirely possible that when the man confessed to being the Popobawa, he was in fact speaking figuratively.