In the 6th episode of CBS Reality TV Show Survivor’s 39th season, Island of the Idols, there was a powerful and informative scene that viewers witnessed.

Jamal (left) and Jack (right). Photo courtesy of Robert Voets/CBS

The scene begins with Jamal Shipman, a then 33-year-old African-American college administrator from Providence, Rhode Island, having just shown the other members of the Vokai tribe (the show’s term for team) some West African dances he had learned from his experience as a Teaching Assistant for a college level dance course. It seemed like a typical “Survivor downtime” scene where viewers get some insight on typical life and dynamics between several contestants at any given time. Moments later, Jack Nichting, a then 23-year-old Caucasian graduate student from Harrisonburg, Virginia, refers to Jamal’s buff (headband) as a durag. This is where things get tricky, even after re-watching the episode and analyzing the situation. Nevertheless, I will do my best to explain why this is such a nuanced situation between two people of different walks of life.

Having watched every episode of the US version of Survivor, I fail to recall another instance where the term durag was used to describe the now famous Survivor buffs, which have become a collectors item for fans as well as a memento of their time on the game for the former contestants. So I can understand Jamal’s visible disappointment when Jack used the term durag, which, as Jamal explains later in this scene, is slang for a cloth worn by many subcultures but is often associated with African Americans in less than positive contexts. Jamal’s immediate response is “Durag? Wow” as he appears to be taking in what had just happened. As he begins to talk about why that comment was a race-related remark, Jack is seen nervously walking away (which is pointed out by another team member). The show then cuts to two confessionals (private interviews), one each from Jamal and Jack, breaking down their reactions followed by an immediate individual conversation between the two. Jack is quick to apologize, emphasizing how embarrassed he was to make that comment, and Jamal appears accepting but also concedes that he will need time to move forward from that moment. Jack respects where Jamal is coming from.

After Jamal, again in confessional, explains that the durag comment is reflective of the image a lot of white Americans have about African American men, the next scene is a more in depth conversation at night where Jamal breaks down various pillars of privilege and identity. These pillars include race, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, and religion. Jack concedes that he did not know about a lot of this information, and once again genuinely apologizes about the situation. Jack also mentions that he learns that because of his position in society as a straight white male person, that there are ways he can advocate for others thanks to this conversation he had with Jamal. As Jamal invites Jack to try to think about what it’s like to be someone without that privilege, Jack and Jamal make amends as both feel that despite Jack’s comment their friendship has grown and they’ve been able to heal through their communication and mutual understanding. Jamal notes that the apology he received from Jack was a rare instance of how that kind of situation usually resolves. Even though this is part of a game where neither player can afford to sever bonds as they try to use those bonds to progress, this felt like a real human moment. This was a powerful, meaningful moment not just in the context of this show but for us in our respective societies as well as the greater national and global societies we coexist in today.

Photo courtesy of Robert Voets/CBS

I studied Communication Studies during my undergraduate education at the University of California, Davis as well as during my master’s program at San Francisco State University, so I have a bit more insight and background to fall back on when assessing this complex, layered situation. Before my studies, my life experience and world view was probably not much different than that of Jack’s. I lived in the suburbs of the San Francisco Bay Area through high school, at which time I mostly attended private Catholic schools. Though I went to school and befriended many people of color during that time, those school’s populations were still predominantly Caucasian. Though I am of Mexican descent through both sides of my family, I am a white passing individual who can speak Spanish, albeit with a noticeable Anglo-American accent. I lived only a matter of miles from Bay Area communities where significantly more African-American people resided, but that was enough distance for me to have a largely white-washed perspective of the world. Even the parts of my Mexican culture I inherited from my family members were affected by that filter of bias. A perspective where despite as recently as the 1990s with the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles, I thought that we as a society had moved beyond racism. Especially in California, a state that overwhelmingly voted for Barack Obama in both the 2008 and 2012 U.S. Presidential Elections and I assumed was hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away from the remaining pockets of racism in this country. All the while the San Francisco Bay Area was becoming increasingly gentrified, with lower-income, predominantly families of color, being pushed out of San Francisco and Oakland among other major cities. This trend, which is still ongoing, is due to the increasing home prices that accommodate the billionaires that run the region’s multiple businesses.

All of these lived experiences, despite me being a well-meaning person, have developed implicit biases about people I often encountered and especially those I didn’t encounter as often. This appears to be, since I do not know Jack personally, where Jack is coming from in this situation. Jamal, on the other hand, speaks about having to confront these biases on a daily basis, which I am sure was no easy task, especially in the field of education. Again drawing from my undergraduate and graduate programs, I was fortunate to witness and experience an increased diversity that I had not previously experienced in high school or prior. However, for many people of color both as students and employees in the university setting, they faced many challenges and biases in their quests to advance their career goals. Jamal talked about these obstacles by saying, “Much of white America has perception of African-Americans as thugs, dead-beat fathers, leeches of social services and it is associated with images like the durag”. Jamal is not the first contestant of color on Survivor to speak on issues such as representation and perception. From Shii Ann’s experience in Survivor Thailand as the only Asian-American contestant on her season and adjusting to the cultural differences, to Yul Kwon, the winner of Survivor Cook Islands (a season that divided the players into tribes based on race), who spoke about growing up with no one on TV who looked like him, to more recently with Davie Rickenbacker of Survivor: David vs Goliath who referred to himself as a “blerd” or black nerd and his experience not quite fitting in with society’s perceptions of African American men, there are countless other examples. However, these moments occur in spite of some of the show’s casting trends.

With Survivor being a show meant to represent a cross section of the United States and to put them in a complex social situation, it is important for many fans that there is representation for as many groups of people as possible. Though this current season’s cast of 20 contestants featured four African-Americans (two men, two women) and five Asian-American contestants (two men, three women, including Middle Eastern, Hmong, and the first ever Indian-American contestant), many seasons have featured as few as one or two minorities of any race throughout the entire cast. Some groups such as Latinx Americans are still cast relatively infrequently, and when they are, their identities are not often addressed on the show. Examples of this include Devon Pinto of Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers and Chris Underwood of Edge of Extinction, who identify as Latino but that information was only provided through off-show interviews. Few seasons have had candid conversations about race, a conversation that many people do not like to have. However, failure to have these conversations and share these stories is a disservice to them and to all of us. I am pleased Survivor included this in a 42-minute episode that was already packed to the brim with other game-related content. I just hope that this type of storytelling and content can become more of a regular fixture within this show. There are a lot of lessons everyone can draw from this particular instant.

From my perspective, the biggest takeaways from this situation are:

We all need to be honest and reflective about our implicit biases and how our lived experiences shape them. If you are someone who feels like privilege does not exist, consider why that may be. Perhaps there are identity traits you possess that allow you to more easily conform to societal norms where you live than others. While it was great that Jamal was open to educating Jack about his mistake, everyone should put in the effort to educate themselves beforehand to attempt to prevent those mistakes from occurring. This may be difficult for people of certain backgrounds and I admit this comes from a place of privilege from my education, but you do not need to be a Social Sciences major to learn about privilege, identities, and perspectives. There are several resources online that can teach you about the history of people of different cultures, sexualities, religions, and more. By doing this prior research, when you do have questions for these people, it comes from a more genuine place and it is less of a burden (think of all of the other people a gay person has had to explain what being gay is like to, for example). Be open to listening and learning. Both of these components are important; without one, the other is less effective. We all make mistakes, but being genuine about them goes a long way. The best way to go about that genuineness is the next takeaway: Actions speak louder than words. We have yet to see what becomes of Jamal and Jack’s friendship long term on the show other than a reassurance this episode that they are still on good terms. However, we must practice what we preach. Ways we can do this is to advocate for the more vulnerable populations in our community. Whether it be through volunteering, legislature, or other forums, have a mixture of voices involved in any project you take part in or wish to accomplish.

Once again, I took a lot of important messages and lessons from this moment in Survivor and I hope that for all future moments like this, I can continue to deepen my perspective and continue to understand people’s point of views from backgrounds vastly different from mind. It is that kind of mentality that can promote positive change in our society and in this world.