There's a hidden-away service entrance door off to the side of the theater, and many attendees use it to sneak out and grab a smoke or take a break from the stuffy ceremony. This (A- list mostly movie actor who is an Oscar winner/nominee) was out there when I walked out, smoking something that wasn't tobacco. "Glaucoma's getting' worse" he said with a grin. While we were relaxing, discussing new ways to split the atom, this (A list mostly movie actress who is an Oscar winner/nominee) came outside with a total jerk in tow. I didn't know his name, but he was not her date. He was an aspiring horrible comic was my guess. He's trying to make jokes, and I can see the actress getting uncomfortable and the blazing actor getting a real sarcastic look on his face.



The horrible comic kept reaching to pull the actress' top open, and she'd smack his hand telling him to stop. Seriously. I seriously told him that was not nice, and he should knock it off. He laughed and said she didn't mind, and she crossed her arms looking embarrassed. The idiot then says: "Somebody should slip Kimmel a note to alert all the women that Harvey just arrived and he's holding auditions backstage on a couch". Ha-fu@%king-ha. The guy then pulls out a vial of white powder and does a bump right there on his hand, much to the actress' horror. He says: "That Lupi-tiya Oblongo. Or Loop My Dongo, or whatever…she's fine. If you could Face-filter her about 50 shades lighter to Halle Berry's color she'd be smoking hot! Fifty shades of Laid!". I saw the chilled-out actor start to get upset now. The actress stalks off down the walkway away from him. "I think she's gorgeous like she is", I said. Mr. Idiot says: "I'd still do her, don't get me wrong, give her some hot slow-jam lovin'." Yeah, a regular Barry White romantic.



After more of this, the chilled-out actor motions for me to re-enter with him, turns to the actress and says: "You okay? You wanna go back with us?'. She declined. The actor turns to the idiot and says: "You're not funny man. You're a total asswipe and the reason so many women have to put up with all this sh!t. That sh&t you're saying is as bad as the crap the writers wrote for this show tonight." The idiot just stared with a stupid grin on his face. Walking back inside, I asked who that jackass was. "Can't remember his name, but he's a writer for tonight's show." I laughed, thinking he was kidding. He wasn't. I don't think he'll have to worry about writing for next year's show. When we returned, both the actor and I stopped in the foyer and messaged the top production officials of the show to express our disgust.