A big part of it is taxes: Younger residents mean you have to fund a school district and then worry about accidentally running over the little tykes. The Sun Cities are meant for the elderly, by the elderly, and as long as they keep the average age up they can focus on enjoying their retirement instead of having to supply the many amenities younger people need. Technically, anyone 19 or older can buy a house, but there has to be at least one 55-plus person living in it. And you're allowed only 90 days of visitors younger than 19 a year. Got nine grandkids? You better hope they each get their fill of fun with you in 10 days. Kids are considered so out of place that Michael's grandkids are watched like a hawk when they visit.

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"We keep close tabs on them and don't let them leave the house. If they do and cause mischief on a neighbor's lawn, then they can be reported. It's been done to others, and we don't want to go through that."

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It sounds like a horror movie -- don't go outside or the old folks will get you. And if you're caught, you won't just get a slap on the wrist and a lecture about shiftless millennials. They're serious about calling the police to enforce a charge of "harboring children," to the point where fines and threats of legal action will be used to maintain their reverse Logan's Run. One age cop's description of his child patrol duties sounds like a Terminator hunting for signs of human resistance. A little misplaced sandal on a front step or a ball in a backyard with a fence not tall enough to hide it? Sound the alarm. It's reached the point where people who have fallen on hard times and want to move in with mom or grandma until they can reassemble their lives are being turned away, because crippling economic depression really puts a damper on Bingo night.