Most "tips" for living longer are pretty obvious stuff: eat healthy, don't work too much, stay fit, go on lots of vacations, maybe don't be a popular rock musician aged 27. It turns out that not only are some of these popular beliefs full of shit, but the real longevity indicators are things you probably wouldn't guess in a hundred years, even if you managed to live that long.

7 Starting School Early Gives Kids a Head Start (On Death)

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Starting kids in school as early as possible sounds like a great idea for a number of reasons: it works their brain muscles at a crucial point in development when they're rapidly learning, teaches them to socialize with other kids and, most importantly, gets the little bastards the hell out of the house for a few hours.

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Daddy needs his "pretend my life isn't ruined" time.

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They might complain about getting up early and doing homework, but they'll thank us when they're older ... or if they're older. We say that because an extensive 90-year study found that kids who start school really early live shorter lives.

Researchers think the fact that kids are developing so fast at that age is exactly why it's a terrible idea to start them too early. There's a huge difference between 5- and 6-year-olds; on average, 6-year-olds are going to be much bigger, and 5-year-olds much less socially advanced. Throw them into the same classroom and they're going to find it hard to relate to each other in a way that doesn't involve the taking or giving of wedgies.

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"You deserve this because you're different from me."

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By analyzing the lives of thousands of test subjects from the 1920s onward, the researchers found that being ostracized as a kid leads to lifelong emotional problems, which leads to unhealthy behavior, which leads to a shorter lifespan. In fact, starting age is so important that you don't even have to be a full year younger than your classmates to be screwed for life. In countries like Australia, Norway and the U.K., where there's a mandatory starting age, the kids whose birthdays fall in the summer are less likely to get good grades and go to college than their classmates. All because of when their birthday is.