How to Tell If You’re On a Date or Just Hanging Out

Use this calculator to find out

The results of Motto’s “Is it a date or not?” quiz are in, and thanks to the 92,000 responses we received, we were able to build a formula to predict when a hangout is perceived as a date. The above calculator applies that model to thousands of possible situations. We’ve written an article on the findings of the quiz, but here are a few key takeaways:

The friend effect

Invitations to or from a “friend of a friend” are mostly likely to be perceived as a date, all else being equal. Invitations from a friend, meanwhile, are the least likely to be considered dates.

Gender and age play a role

In most cases, straight men are at least 5% more likely than women of any orientation to consider something a date. Gay men are 4% less likely to consider anything a date. People age 30 or younger are 3% more likely to consider anything a date.

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Dinner usually means a date

Dinner telegraphs “date” better than any other meal, followed by a drink. This is less true in both cases if the day is Sunday.

The best way to ask

Asking someone out in person adds a modest boost to the odds that the person being asked will consider it a date. Emailing, meanwhile, slightly detracts from the odds.

How to see an ex

If you’re meeting with an ex-boyfriend or an ex-girlfriend, coffee and lunch are the safest options to signal that you’re not interested in getting back together.