Boundary Building Skill

Our emotional health is related to the health of our boundaries. When we grow up in a dysfunctional family or one that was chaotic, learning to use boundaries is one of the most uncomfortable set of clothes to try on. It threatens our former understanding of our self and our survival. Hence, it goes against every grain (or cell) of our being. With time, the wardrobe changes. We come to see ourselves as clearly separate from others. Intact and clear boundaries feel good. Healthy boundaries are flexible enough that we can choose what to let in and what to keep out. We can determine to exclude meanness and hostility and let in affection, kindness, and positive regard.