I will preface this with a warning that there is going to be next to nothing negative in this post, and probably a lot of fangirling. I am madly in love with Darling Clandestine. I have already ordered more, which I’ll be reviewing as soon as they get here.

Evonne, the owner of Darling Clandestine, not only has excellent customer service and great products, she is also just a really sweet person. The care she puts into things really shows, from the quality of her blends to her adorable (and secure) packaging. My order came well within turn around time with no issues at all. She was also nice enough to include a whole handful of saltwater taffy in my package, which, naturally, vanished pretty quickly. On to the reviews!

So I picked up two Darling Clandestine solids from a fellow Reddit user (thanks again Michelle!) and I figured I would throw them in the review as well because they’re lovely. The one with the adorable illustration is Love & Sharks, and the unlabeled one is a combo solid of Love & Sharks and Small Saga, thus making Shark Saga.

Love & Sharks: Salty shark skin, pepper, cherries, apricots and clove

This is weird, and so amazing at the same time. I have never smelt anything like this before! It’s definitely salty and I can smell the cherries and a touch of pepper. It smells like an adorable shark that just finished picking a basket full of cherries (this is perfectly realistic imagery. shh.). I adore this. It is so delightfully strange and I keep it on my coffee table so I can randomly smell it because I like it so much. My boyfriend doesn’t like it. He says it smells vaguely like cough syrup, which he says about anything with cherry notes so I’m beginning to suspect he just doesn’t like cherry.

Shark Saga: Hybrid of Small Saga and Love & Sharks

This is also a weird one! I like this one, it’s really different. I feel like the saltiness of Love & Sharks is extra strong but also has a sort of floral type of background rather than fruity. I enjoy it, but my boyfriend hates this one even more and says it smells just like Love & Sharks with “rotting strawberries”. Haters gonna hate.

Serpentina: crisp, green, ethereal tea fragrance with a little opium bite

I am going to write this perfume a love ballad. It is amazing. The funny thing is, I didn’t think I would love this one like I do but it just might be my favorite! It is super fresh and definitely ethereal as the description says. I don’t even like fresh or green scents and I love this. The vision I get when I smell this is that of an exquisitely beautiful and dignified geisha wearing a kimono of rich, opulent silk. My boyfriend likes this one a lot as well.

Maudlin & Bedlam: dark, warm honey and herbals and wood frosted unsettlingly with weeping green leaves

This one is woody in all the best ways. It’s a very green scent, but not where it feels like you stuck your nose up to a tree. To me it smells like fir and herbs with a very light touch of sweetness to it, probably the honey. I really enjoy this one as well. It’s what I imagine the wood elves from Skyrim would smell like. My boyfriend says it smells like “waking up in a cabin in the forest” and he really likes it.

Circassian: Chocolate and black coffee, with an intriguing floral note.

Another one I absolutely love. It smells like dark chocolate, a little bitter from the coffee with a sweet floral note that smells, at least to my nose, like roses. I adore it. It brings to mind an image of a beautiful woman, perhaps scorned, and now overlaid by a veneer of bitterness. It’s rich, dark, sexy, and mysterious with that intriguing bitter note that just keeps me coming back. My boyfriend doesn’t like this one either, and says it’s too bitter and chocolately. No taste, guys. He has no taste.

Anyway, in conclusion, if you haven’t tried Darling Clandestine yet, stop what you’re doing and give Evonne your money! She offers bitsies that are one dram for five dollars, or three bitsies for 13. This is my first perfume order where I LOVED everything. I cannot recommend enough.

What are your Darling Clandestine must haves? What scents just do not work for you?