From the desk of John C. Gail,

“Every young man should be the hero of his own story. If that’s not the case, then the story needs some editing.”

People often throw this sentence around with the intent of inspiring young men to work hard and dedicate themselves to living a high-quality life, full of valor and glory. I understand why this could be music to a young man’s ears, but there are a few things I’d like to contest.

Conflating oneself with the archetypical hero breeds a sense of baseless superiority.

“You, who have nothing. I, who have everything. We are living proof that all men are not created equal. You have my pity, Makoto. Life can be very cruel indeed.”

-Byakuya Togami

Let’s be honest, if any of us could save the world, we’d flaunt the hell out of that fact. Viewing yourself as this grand hero forces you to dehumanize yourself and pretend that you fit into a mold that doesn’t match you. You can be as good as you want at something, but in all likelihood, you’ll never be Thor. In fact, treating yourself as though you’re Thor has a good chance of inhibiting any work that you do to close in on that Thor-standard. Thinking of yourself as any more intrinsically powerful than anyone around you will lead to complacency and an aversion to doing what you consider “grunt work,” reserved for people unlike you, who don’t have enormous reservoirs of power due solely to the fact that they’re you and others are not.

Conflating oneself with the archetypical hero breeds an attitude of vanity.

“Nothing pleases man more than the sort of alluring talk that tickles the pride that itches in his very marrow.”

-John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion [Westminster]

This one isn’t too hard to spell out. Thinking of yourself as a Man of Steel actually serves to make you more fragile, since when you fail (as all mere mortals do), you take it a lot more personally and see it as a hit to your persona. Most normal people would fail and think “wow I should work harder so I do better next time.” The “hero,” when confronted with the same failure, tends to have an identity crisis (see the discussion between Peter and Tony when Tony takes away the Spider-Man suit in Homecoming).

Conflating oneself with the archetypical hero fosters dependence on validation in order for work output to remain high-quality.

“It’s one thing to have the respect of your peers in the business. Their opinions are not always verbalized but if you are doing the right thing you don’t need validation.”

-Carlos Wallace

What happens to heroes when they save the world? Well, the movies say that if they don’t die in the process, they tend to be hailed by the world, showered with medals, ribbons, fame, and glory. The man who makes the mistake of thinking he’s a hero often comes to expect the same thing, albeit slightly different in form. He does something noble for a woman not because he believes it’s the right thing but because he thinks he’s entitled to something afterwards. He puts in extra work for his company not because he believes in the company’s vision or loves what he does but because he’s gunning for a promotion or a raise. He starts rivalries with those who receive more acclaim or popularity than himself, because he feels entitled to that acclaim.

With this last point, I’m not only saying that you shouldn’t make yourself beholden to such acclaim, but that you should detach yourself entirely from it. I was talking to my friend David earlier this week. He loves the theatric arts, acting and the like. Every time a school or community play comes around, he always signs up to work on the A/V crew, or to help with stage design. He could be the male lead if he wanted to. He’s an incredible actor. When I asked him why he never auditioned for those big roles, he told me that he thought he could do more for the play backstage, since fewer people wanted to do those kinds of jobs. When I asked why he’d do such a thankless job, he just smiled and said that he doesn’t need to be center stage to be content with his work.

I encourage every one of you to adopt a similar attitude, so that you don’t burn out, so that you always stay humble, and so that you can find happiness in doing whatever you find yourself doing, regardless of whether your name is up in lights because of it.

Again, I understand why people use the saying that young men should be the heroes of their own stories, but I think the expression can do more harm than good without the proper warnings against pride, complacency, and dependence on validation.

Tuck your chin, work hard, and let the history books decide if you’re worthy of that sort of title.

All the best,

JCG

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