Ahh, Art bollocks. Where would we be without these inane ramblings, sorry, uninformed idiocies, sorry in depth analyses? Most art-worlders can make a good stab at it…

“Without doubt the best work in the exhibition – the artist has allowed himself time and freedom to sensualise a compelling dialectical opposition whilst never merely re-presenting images usually regarded as iterations of the matrix. Don’t you think?”

…but if you can’t there are even web-apps to help you out: Art-bollocks generator. Even the most well-meaning cove slip into it every now and again, some say it’s the effect on the brain of four stark white walls. Others believe it’s a natural human defence mechanism when presented with

To celebrate this vital part of the art world we have launched the FLANEUR MONTHLY ART BOLLOCKS COMPETITION!

How does it work I hear no one ask. Exactly as you might expect. Every month we upload a work of art. And every month we send out a plea for the best art bollocks to describe it.

Please add your art bollocks to the comments. The winner will receive a certificate signed by the editor attesting to their art world skill. The certificate itself will be a work of art, so you can write some more art bollocks about that when you get it. The whole thing works on so many levels I can barely cope.

ONWARD!

Leave your artbollocks in the comments for the following painting. I won’t give any details about it yet for fear of stifling your creativity:

Just to start you off, don’t you feel that this is a redefinition or rather, let’s be more honest, a transformation of an intuiting minority – a pre-construction if you will of the very political poetry that it inculcates? The clouds no longer encapsulating the traditional, but giving a patina of glamour to an otherwise unengaged electorate? The focus of the painting, it’s very raison d’être is of course the goat.

Add your art bollocks below!

This competition is advertised on: OfferOasis.co.uk – Competitions and Freebies in the UK