We are laughing! We are laughing at you, David Portnoy! What an unreal commercial. The “we feel so sorry for you, silly pizza man” chuckle from the narrator is the meanest thing an Iowan has ever done. So condescending. You heard them. They’re the best-tasting, freshest baked pizza restaurant IN THE WORLD. Not in the state. Not in the country. Not even the damn continent. THE WORLD. They just happen to sell gas. You might be saying, “Why can’t they let this go? It’s just pizza. Let it go.” It’s not just pizza. Dave attacked the entire state, nay, the entire region with his slander. We can hold a grudge, too. The midwest remembers.