I portray myself to be prominent in all the wrong ways

Going Goth In A Mainstream World

There is good reason why people in the goth subculture have to stress again and again that you don't have to be "on" 24/7. Its not because we can't do it all the time or if we are afraid to. Sometimes its simply a matter of survival or being able to do the things we want to do.

I used to work in security so I have seen things from the other side. Here is a pro tip for you. Have you ever tried to enter a pub/nightclub and been told no because its "members only" tonight? That is usually bouncer code for "I don't want to let you in and I can't be bothered to think of an excuse why". But the truth is they can refuse you entry and refuse to give you a reason why. You can' t be sued for discrimination if you don't provide evidence of it nor admit to it. If you look goth or alternative that could be all it takes.

Lots of different places have rules for entry including dress codes. To continue on the nightclub example, I recall only 20 years ago most nightspots in the CBD here had two big rules; no exposed tattoos and no jeans. They would even have a sign at the door saying this. You see tattoos and jeans everywhere nowadays. If you want to eat at a classy restaurant some require men to be in a dinner jacket and tie. These places often don't have the rules written anywhere, its just expected you would know.

So, do they have the right to refuse anyone entry? Yes. Will someone who looks different invite more scrutiny merely for standing out? Yes.

If you do goth to the nines 24/7 you should be used to this and know it comes with the territory. There is good reason why a lot of people tone it down because outlandish attire, makeup and hair can get in the way of the things you want to do. Want a mainstream job? You have to tone it down. Want to enter a mainstream nightclub? You have to tone it down. Want to enter a mainstream institution or gated public place (and they are mainstream no matter how much goths love cemeteries)? You may have to play by their rules and tone it down. If you are refused entry for anything there is nothing preventing you from going away, toning it down and coming back if you really want to do it.

In an ideal world we could all dress as we want (as long as its not being overly and deliberately offensive) and be able to go anywhere. But we don't live in that world. Just as you wouldn't turn up to a grand ball in jeans and sneakers and complain about being refused entry, you can't really complain about being refused entry to a mainstream establishment/place for looking too alternative.