All throughout Latin America, petty theft is a huge problem. Cell phones and wallets are routinely pick-pocketed; those less fortunate can be held up at gunpoint and forced to withdraw money from an ATM. Fellow expats I’ve met in my travels have been robbed in Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, Costa Rica, Argentina and a host of other places. I myself can only attest to my experience in Colombia, where I have been pick-pocketed or had something of mine disappear 3 times. It’s not surprising that crime runs rampant; wherever there is inequality, poverty and little means of upward mobility there is crime. So while having 2 smartphones and a padlock (ha!) stolen sucks big time, it’s not hard to wrap my mind around. What I have found profoundly troubling is the cultural attitude towards victims of petty crimes.

In most nations, if you inform your friends, family or colleagues that you have been robbed, you will be met with instant concern for your well-being. “Are you hurt? Did he touch you? Have you called the police?” Things of that nature. Here in Colombia the response has been markedly different: taunting and laughter. “You kept your phone in your pocket and not in the innermost compartment of your backpack? Heh, dumbass. You dozed off on the bus? LOL, what did you THINK would happen? Serves you right!”

Now, to be fair, these things are not said in an especially malicious way; instead, they’re often accompanied by chuckling and a hand gesture equivalent in meaning to a slap to the forehead. Colombians are by nature a light-hearted and jovial people, and this is surely their way of diffusing tension.

My coworker Juan– the only person I work with who speaks English and has lived somewhere besides Colombia– explained to me that many people here simply don’t know that life can be any other way; that there are places where people go for walks at night simply to enjoy the fresh air and they never have to look over their shoulder or change the side of the street they’re walking on when someone approaches. Thus, to the locals I don’t come across as a normal person adjusting to an area with higher crime, I come across as woefully naïve. So while I can’t say I’m a fan of being laughed at immediately after having $600 worth of property stolen from me, I get it. No, what bothers me is the constant inferences that I deserved to be robbed or had it coming to me.

There’s a large difference between making oneself susceptible to a crime and deserving that crime. If you walk through the middle of the Bronx at night with a stack of $100 bills hanging out your back pocket as you walk obliviously with your headphones blaring, you are increasing the likelihood that someone will attempt to rob you. But no matter what, the act of theft is never justified. If you wear revealing clothing and drink way more alcohol than you can handle at a frat party, you are increasing the likelihood that someone will attempt to sexually assault you. But no matter what, the act of rape is never justified.

Apologies if I sound like a mandatory freshman seminar, but this is NOT the obvious consensus attitude here in Colombia. Instead of assigning culpability to the perpetrator, victims are often teased and dismissed with a “Ahh well, such is life!” at best and the implication of guilt at worst. Now, I am fortunate enough to have never been a victim of sexual assault. **I do not claim to understand what it’s like to go through that experience, nor do I claim that what I have endured is anywhere near that bad.** But prior to my firsthand encounters with criminals here in Colombia, I never knew the terrible, dull sinking feeling of having to contend both with being the victim of a crime AND of being assigned responsibility for having it happen to me.

I kind of assumed that the worst part of any assault was the act itself, and that contending with an uncaring or unsympathetic social circle would be an incidental unpleasantness. Now I see that in reality it comprises a large portion of what makes the experience such bitter poison. Now I have a much better understanding of why people feel they cannot come forward to discuss what was done to them, despite platitudes from friends and family to the contrary. I may have lost 2 phones and a lock, but those are just things. In the end, the understanding I’ve gained is worth much more.

Please know that this essay was NOT:

-an attack on the people of Colombia, who are by and large friendly, giving and compassionate.

-meant to elicit pity or empathy. I’m safe and healthy.

-meant to imply that I understand what it’s like to be molested or violated.

What I DO now have is a much stronger grasp of the culture of blaming victims for the wrongs they’ve endured; a deeply flawed mentality that knows no border, gender or race.

I don’t often thank my readers but if you’ve heard me out all the way to the end of this post, thank you. Your consideration means more than you know.

-DP