…because the ‘ideal’ woman’s body in this society is basically a person with the body fat percentage of a thin man, with narrow and “fat-free” hips, ass, thighs, etc.

…because both men and women judge women on how much they measure up to this standard. fatness=womanness=gross in the eyes of society.

I know that fat (mostly cis) men suffer too, but they also contribute to fatphobia against women: “i’m a big guy, sure, but that’s manly. fat girls are disgusting.” I’ve heard variations on that numerous times. When I speak out against the double standard, I receive the bullshit-laden crap of evolutionary psychology and how “men are visual and judge women on looks, while women just want a good provider” (slaps hand against forehead).

However, many men AND women see women as competitors in the Looks Olympics, even if the individual woman (or trans man who is misread as a woman) does not WANT TO BE IN THIS POSITION. It seems that the analysis is always about women’s bodies, no matter the gender of the speakers. I’m a trans guy, and in restaurants I can often tell if I am being read as a man or woman by whether the waiter brings me Coke or Diet Coke (I ask for regular Coke all the time). When I say “I asked for Coke, not Diet,” the response is ALWAYS “sorry ma'am” or–even worse–“Oh, I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. You know how it is, almost all WOMEN want diet since they are counting their calories.” Misgendering, sexism and fatphobia in the same sentence! If the waiter says, “Here you are sir” and hands me my Coke, it’s always the regular Coke I ordered. (Actually, S.Bear Bergman wrote an article about the exact same thing happening to him, so I know I’m not the only one!)

Also, my degree of thin privilege waxes and wanes whether I am read as a girl or a boy. Somehow, magically, when read as a boy I am described as short, muscular and athletic. When read as a girl I hear stuff like this recent comment overheard by my boyfriend: "she’s [sic] so bulky and stocky–she(sic) should lose some pounds, women look fat when they’re so 'petite’ (more accurately: short) and have arms like that.“ (misgendering, fatphobia, and sexism yet again).

On the other hand, thin privilege is ALSO about embodying your chosen gender without it being questioned/having diet bullshit imposed onto you. Some asshole said to my friend, a trans woman: "You’re getting too fat for a girl. Don’t you know that being a girl means watching your weight?” (she’d gone on estrogen and felt great about her new curves until this girl knocked her down). To me, by a “well-meaning” gay guy who supposedly is a “trans ally”: "If you want to pass, you should have gotten lipo on your ass when you had your top surgery.“ ARRGGHHH. Sorry so long. I’m just pissed, pissed, pissed…and my dysphoria has gotten even worse since he said this.

**This post has been edited to remove problematic / trans-misogynist language. On behalf of TITP I wanted to apologize for not catching it before it was posted. -FBP