Why Aren’t More Women Libertarians? Who Gives a Fuck?

By the Profe$$ional A$$hole

I’ve been hearing this question more and more like it’s a problem. It all boils down to the traits that make for a libertarian: analytical, disagreeable, independent, principled, logical, and low in effect.

Try to imagine a woman like this? The word “bitch” is usually employed. Mom, generally isn’t. It’s not like Ayn Rand was known for her womanly charm and motherly spirit. Quite the opposite.

But these traits are necessary and worthwhile—in men.

There are two types of libertarian women. The first, and substantially less numerous, are the socially conservative homeschooling moms that realize the government is a threat to her odd, but otherwise peaceful family. She’s a libertarian because her husband is. The second, and substantially more numerous are the libertine women who want to break down the shackles of a patriarchal society that has kept them safe, warm, valued, fed, and loved for centuries—the bisexual, super-tattooed single mom who hates taxes despite being on welfare.

Society exists for one reason: to make women as happy and comfortable as the economic conditions allow. Men are perfectly happy to live in caves, eat meat, jerk off, and die of heart attacks at 50 while wrestling bears. In many ways, it is preferable. Economic activity happens solely for the purpose of making women happy. Any society that you want to complain about, the men have it worse. Always.

When no one gives a shit whether you live or die (and we regularly send young boys to die by the hundreds of thousands in war), you have to be an asshole. Being a man is only having God to complain to.

Women have no comprehension of this. Men guard this truth from them because they would get depressed and not fuck us, or laugh at our weakness and not fuck us.

So here are 8 reasons why women are not, and never will be, libertarian.

1. Oxytocin: the cuddle hormone. This shit makes women sweet and snuggly. Why do they coo for a screeching baby, or sigh with romantic affection at their middle-aged husband? It’s because women have a lot of oxytocin. It makes them think relationally, and sympathetically. Men think conceptually. We have oxytocin, though not much, and we have testosterone that forces development in the spatial, abstract, and reasoning centers of the brain.



Women are neurotic and agreeable. This makes them natural socialists. Duh. They don’t like to disagree with people and they are fearful. This is a fantastic trait in a mother. It is terrible in an entrepreneur.

The Trobriand Islands exemplify what happens to a society run by women. The men are effectively castrated due to yams on the island being the only real food source. 1,500 years ago the island was full of the same type of sailor-warriors who figured out celestial navigation by trial and error. They sailed from modern Taiwan to Madagascar and South America and returned. In other words, these sailor-warriors were ballsy. What happened after a diet of solely yams containing many testosterone-killing phytoestrogens? The wahmens took over and forbid sailing because it was dangerous, forbid trade, and forbid hunting. Over time the Trobrianese lost the knowledge of sailing, their history, their magic and spells, and have almost no idea how reproduction works. If women run things, you slowly forget how to do it.

Women hate the market. They love guarantees. We’ve all see the videos of gold-diggers on the beach. Some dude walks up in normal clothes and asks for her number. She says “no, I have a boyfriend.” Then his friend drives up in a Ferrari and says “hey, boss, I brought your car.” Suddenly she’s interested. She prances over and says “we could def hangout.” This trait is nigh universal. Check Tinder for proof.

Some women, with too much oxytocin, will choose the losers, betas, guitar-playing hippies, and Justin Bieber. This is especially the case in pubescent girls and girls on birth control. Think of Ariel as she screams “daddy, I love him” while diddling herself to a statue of some sailor she just pulled from the ocean, or Rose from Titanic who slept with a baby-faced, smelly, homeless dude because he had some game. However, most women don’t want risk, freedom, or the possibility of reward. They want a guarantee. They’ll take the safest option, unless their neurochemistry is off.

Women are nice. They don’t want to see children starve, even if it was their own parents who threw them out. They hate seeing homeless guys on the street, even if he’s there entirely of his own fault. They can’t say no to that puppy dog. Their dad or husband keeps them from being a walking placenta to the pitiable. To be an effective libertarian you have to see through that.

Women don’t care about principles. They never have, and never will. It’s amazing that women overwhelmingly believe in abortion until menopause. Then, after menopause, they overwhelmingly oppose abortion. I wonder why? Is it that the moral argument changed from when they were 16 to 46? Or is it that women believe in things only so long as it benefits them. You’ll be pleased to know men are much more consistent over the course of their lives on that issue. And all issues. Women think relationally. They care about themselves, their children, their husband, their family, their community. Women care about what materially improves their situation, now.

Women are illogical. Obviously. Proven again and again in double-blind studies. Men have greater spatial and abstract reasoning. We can think about hypotheticals better than women. It’s why all the best mathematicians, computer programmers, economists, physicists, engineers, chemists, lawyers, doctors, and philosophers are all men.

Women are weaker. Yes, physically, but also psychologically. They are more likely to use psychotropic drugs, less likely to cope with workplace stress, more like to have nervous breakdowns, more likely to choose low-stress jobs, more likely to do anything that is easy and non-taxing. Children are a big enough responsibility on their own. Being malleable is more important than being tough, if you’re a woman, but it’s a terrible trait in a man.

Women don’t read. Non-fiction any way. Women overwhelmingly read more fiction and almost no non-fiction. Men read non-fiction overwhelmingly, and more overall. To develop a consistent philosophy of economics, politics, public actions, and social interaction, how much non-fiction do you think you have to read? How many nerdy podcasts? How many lecture series? See where I’m going?

So, why aren’t there libertarian women? Because libertarianism is not conducive to women in any way. Thank God. I can’t stand libertarian women.

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