Article content continued

I don’t know if you heard the news, but Wall Street now is a farmer’s market.

The good news is that, last year, the F.B.I. reported a 20% decrease in the number of people robbing banks.

The bad news is that there was a 100% increase in the number of banks robbing people.

Michelle and Sasha Obama vacationed at an exclusive Spanish resort, while Washington, D.C.’s unemployment rate is ten percent. They did so on the advice of their public relations firm, Lohan & Gibson.

Hey, look, I don’t want to say the stock market is unstable, but this morning, the opening bell was rung by Paula Abdul.

The Dow is dropping so frequently they have decided to just add an ‘n’ to the end of it

The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart

The economy is so bad, Bill Gates had to switch to dial up

The economy is so bad, Barack Obama changed his slogan to “Maybe We Can!”

The economy’s so bad, Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen

The economy is so bad, that I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank

The economy is so bad, I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail

The economy is so bad, the Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates

The economy is so bad, a certain celebutante changed her name to “Paris Holiday Inn.”

McDonalds just added another item to its $1 value menu… Citigroup stock

What is the difference between Iceland and Ireland?… One letter and about six months.

A Wall Street trader is leaning out the window one afternoon watching the traffic go by. He accidentally falls, plunging four floors.

As he lies on the sidewalk, a very pretty women comes up to him and asks: “How are you doing?

He looks at her and says: “I make about six figures.”