Happiness is having a little doughnut on every finger and eating them off one-by-one. Kidding. Okay, Google, what is happiness?

It’s probably not a warm gun, though that’s a great song. It’s unlikely to be quotes (maybe those are what ‘wisdom’ is!), I don’t think it’s only real when shared, and pets are great, but they don’t always equate to happiness. A warm puppy? Hard to argue with that… The other Google auto-fill options are interesting though. Happiness is a choice, homemade, an inside job… there might be something to those.

So what is it then? Or, maybe more importantly, how do we live so that we have it?

This is where I think the Stoics were onto something, in fact it’s kind of the whole point. I did name this blog “Be Stoic, Be Happy” after all. But before we can get into what the Stoics thought, I should make clear that my use of ‘happy’ might be misleading if seen as a product of Stoicism. If you’re thinking of ‘happiness’ as the feeling that makes you smile and laugh and dance around, that’s not really what Stoicism is going for (though it may be an occasional preferred indifference – more on that later). The Stoics weren’t just a bunch of dudes whooping it up in their togas all the time. These were serious dudes thinking about serious things!

So when I use ‘happiness’ as it relates to Stoicism, I’m using it as a sort of modern catch-all term for what Stoics might have called ‘eudaimonia’, which translates into something more like ‘good spirit’ or ‘human flourishing’, something a little longer lasting and deeper down than just ‘happiness’. William Irvine named his book about Stoicism ‘A Guide to the Good Life’, and used the word ‘tranquility’ to describe this sort of Stoic state of being. I guess there are lots of ways to describe the same thing, especially when you’re trying to translate 2,000-year-old ideas written down in different languages by people living in entirely different sociolinguistic environments.

What the Stoics were going for, then, is a kind of intrinsic fulfillment of virtue arrived at by living through moderation, practical intelligence, courage and justice. These elements of virtue are the foundation of Stoicism – the things that really matter and should be kept in mind as a sort of foundation upon which all else is built. If you use this foundation and act accordingly within these elements, you’ll find yourself in good spirit, living the good life, experiencing eudaimonia, being happy.

This is one of those easier said than done things, though. In order to keep this foundation of virtue in tact and live through these elements, you’ve got to understand what these elements mean. Here’s how I think of them, and even though I split them up here, I think in reality they’re kind of reciprocal and interconnected, and they probably have to be.

Moderation

There’s such a thing as too much of a good thing, or so they say. The word often associated with Stoicism is ‘temperance’, but I find ‘moderation’ to be a bit more relatable. The point is to use a little reason to moderate the things in life that might result in or from desire or attachment. You don’t have to eliminate good and bad things from your life, just pull into the center a bit and recognize when enough is enough, when things are unnecessary or even harmful. In other words, take it easy and don’t get too attached to feelings or things and you’ll be alright.

Practical Intelligence

To have ‘practical intelligence’ or wisdom is to be able to see what’s really going on and what, if anything, you can or should do about it. This means recognizing what you can and can’t control and being aware of your reactions and judgments about things (hint: reactions and judgments come from you, not from other things). This will help you separate what’s external and out of your control vs. what’s internal and in your control so you can make rational decisions about what to do with yourself. Awareness and self-reflection are key in this one.

Justice

When you’re using your moderation and practical intelligence to make decisions about what to do, it’s worth having a little respect for the greater good. After all, we live in societies with certain social environments, resources, and general welfare that we should consider. A word I like to think about is ‘magnanimous’ (look it up!). Be magnanimous and you’ll be on the right track.

Courage

It takes some endurance and some perseverance to keep doing all the stuff I just mentioned above. Watching your own thoughts, being rational when it’s hard to be rational, doing the right things… these things aren’t easy, man. This is what ‘courage’ refers to.

Okay, so we do things according to these core concepts and consequently we’re happy. But what if I want to go to a party or lay on a beach or drink a few too many beers or ditch work and ride my bike around all day or put on a toga and whoop it up? Ya know, that stuff makes me happy, too! Does being Stoic mean I have to do away with those things, or stop myself from feeling anything if I do do those things?

No way. This line of questioning is super common among people wondering about Stoicism and from everything I’ve read and discussed, the Stoics would absolutely not stop you from doing any of those awesomely fun and happy things. What they would say instead is just to keep in mind that those are temporary and non-essential, that they aren’t the same thing as the deep-down, foundational-level goodness (eudaimonia) that comes from maintaining the virtues.

So go and party it up, but as you do, don’t misinterpret or misidentify what’s going on. Yes, you feel happy, but no, this is not the rich, sustainable happiness that goes in tandem with living purposefully through moderation, practical intelligence, justice and courage. Nor are parties and days on the beach necessary for this rich, sustainable happiness. If you have them, cool. If you don’t have them, fine. As long as you see things for what they are, go ahead and enjoy yourself!

I mentioned earlier the idea of ‘preferred indifference’, and this is what you could use to describe the relationship with positive, but unnecessary things. I enjoy taking time to go camping, for example. Do I feel happy while I’m out camping with my buddies? For sure. Is camping necessary to maintain my long-term, underlying sense of well-being? Nope. So I can prefer camping and enjoy it when it happens, but I can hold a sort of indifference or equanimity towards it so that I don’t end up suffering without it.

The same applies for negative, but unnecessary things with non-preferred indifference. I don’t really enjoy standing up on a packed subway trying to get into the city on a busy morning, but it doesn’t prohibit me from maintaining my long-term, underlying sense of well-being via virtue, so I don’t need to worry about it. I can let out a sigh, accept my fate, pop my headphones in and listen to a good podcast.

Like I said before, I think this framework as a way to go through life is what Stoicism is all about. Since I’ve started thinking about these simple concepts and interpreting what happens both in my mind and outside of it accordingly, I’ve been able to feel a noticeable positive change. It still feels good to have fun and do fun things, but I don’t suffer with as much desire or attachment toward those things. Shitty things still feel shitty initially, but I find my way faster to indifference so that the shitiness doesn’t stick around. When it comes time to make decisions about things, I can run them through the lens of Stoicism and what I end up doing works out in a way that maintains my well-being.

The Stoics said a lot of other wise things about happiness. Here are a couple of my favorite quotes from each of the main guys:

Unhappy I am because this has happened to me. Not so, but happy am I, though this has happened to me, because I continue free from pain, neither crushed by the present nor fearing the future. – Marcus Aurelius Don’t seek to have events happen as you wish, but wish them to happen as they do happen, and all will be well with you. – Epictetus True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not. – Seneca

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