I am selling my totally awesome bike. Perfect for the aspiring culture creator. I have recently become a Successful Entrepreneur and I no longer have the need for such trifling possessions. I drive a gigantic cargo van that literally pisses gas onto the road to mark its territory.



Do you want to be noticed? Do you want to stand out from the crowd? Sleeve tattoo didn't do the trick? Dubstep bounce remix didn't go viral? Look no further than this bike. Don't even look past it in the pictures posted below. Import it into Photoshop and delete the background. I know you know how to do it, because you're a graphic designer.



Yellow body, red accents. Black. Dirt. Are there even any more colors?



Just think of all the great places you could see and be seen on this bike:



1. A vegan rally

2. Pikos

3. Rally's

4. Miscellaneous

The possibilities are endless.



This bike will get you laid. If you ride this bike around Hagley Park at 1 in the morning without pants on, dudes will literally knock you off of your bike to try to blow you.



This bike is a freewheel fixed gear, because you're a fucking monster and you have one speed, and that speed is +/- 15mph.



SAFETY FEATURES



This bike is NZ made and comes with four distinct safety features:



Safety Feature #1: back brakes only. Because you're not about to conform to anyone's preconceived notions of how a bike should stop.



Safety Feature #2: Bright colours. Stand out - be scene (seen).



Safety Feature #3: Welding fix at seat joint. When this joint came loose, the bike was deemed horribly unsafe. When I welded it back together, it became safe again, therefore: safety feature. It's supersturdy now; I painted the welding joint yellow because I was feeling creative and I don't have to explain my art to anyone.



Safety Feature #4: Apparently this bike has really nice rims. I am listing this under Safety Features because I feel that less-nice rims would probably make the bike marginally less safe.



Pick up from Rolleston. Your parents can pay me.

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