‘But I’m here to say that I love dating short men. In fact, it’s tall men that suck.’

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It’s a truth universally acknowledged that women don’t fancy short men.

What I Rent: Bailey and Maddie, £2,075 for a two-bedroom flat in Wembley

We want guys tall, dark and handsome; big men that’ll make us feel dainty and protected; real men who knock their heads on door frames and ask for fourth helpings of dinner.

Science says it’s true.

A recent study found that nearly half the women surveyed would only date men taller than themselves. As if that’s not enough, they are also underrepresented in the business world. According to Malcolm Gladwell, as well as being predominately white and male, apparently CEOs are almost all tall.




Research like that has got to hurt – and it does. Reddit has a page called r/short where over 20,000 members discuss things like ‘heightism’ and the difficulties of dating as a short guy.

But I’m here to say that I love dating short men. In fact, it’s tall men that suck.

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

While in caveman times I might have needed a hulking monolith of a man to keep me from freezing to death, we live in the era of John Lewis, and I have a really great duvet.

Short men are welcome to snuggle with me under it. Looming 6-footers producing enough body heat to cook a Sunday roast can sleep in the shed.

Short men are better in bed. Do you know why so many people don’t enjoy 69ing? Because they’re trying to do it with someone whose penis might as well be atop Mount Everest. Try it with someone whose body is actually the same length as yours, and it’s a hell of a lot of fun.

Spontaneous shower sex feels amazing, but unfortunately, with tall men it’s also the equivalent of a particularly demanding gym session: for it to work, they’ve got to lift you up. Unless you’re dating Chris Hemsworth, being lifted up during sex is rarely an empowering or enjoyable experience.

With short men, it’s just not necessary; you can get right to it.

Kissing short men is also way easier. In missionary with a tall guy, the only thing I’m likely to be able to kiss is his nipple. And don’t even get me started on making out. I can deal with bruised lips or the odd love bite, but craning my neck to kiss a tall guy for twenty minutes leaves me in the wrong kind of pain entirely.

So while a guy being tall isn’t a total deal-breaker, I hope I end up with a short guy.

They’re cooler (literally). They’re sexier. I even like being the big spoon. It’s 2017 and I don’t need a guy to protect me.

The only thing a tall man can do for you that a short man can’t is reach things on high shelves and give you a ten pound baby. I can live without both those things.

MORE: 10 reasons shorter men are hotter than tall guys

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