Today’s guest post is brought to you by Jack Hoffmen. You can follow him on Twitter@deth39.

Oda Eiichiro, the creator of the hit series One Piece, has always been an elusive individual. However, in a rare recent private interview, he revealed that the secret to his health is a result not of vampirism (as had been earlier suspected) but of a slow process of him replacing his skin and internal organs with cybernetic implants.

For almost 20 years, Oda has been working on One Piece with minimal interruptions – a feat which he chiefly attributes to a series of expensive surgeries to replace failing body parts with robotic equivalents. Oda’s efforts have made One Piece one of the most popular manga in the world.

“At first, I was able to get by with just passion alone like any other struggling mangaka,” Oda admitted to reporters. “But around the ‘Water 7’ arc, I began to get irritated by how long it took to consume food and keep up my hygiene.”

Fans are aware that the arc in question did feature a cyborg. However, with the great length of the series we were unable to focus on the franchise long enough to verify any potential further connections.

“At first, I turned to alchemy,” Oda continued. “It soon became difficult to find sacrifices to appease the elder gods. So I began putting my fortune to work in developing the technology I would need to transcend humanity.”

“One day I was invited to his house. His wall was covered in mysterious symbols and the image of some squid-like being,” Oda’s editor recalled. “At the time, I thought they were concept drawings for a new antagonist, but I began to suspect otherwise as the series progressed.”

“Around that time, we became concerned with what Oda was getting into but failed to stop him. Even now, we’re barely able to contain him. It is no secret that he has already finished the next 10 years of One Piece and simply refuses to stop. He has become too powerful.”

“Becoming a digital life form has helped the strain of drawing One Piece immensely,” Oda added as several cables plugged into his spine let off a concerning spark. “I no longer need to sleep and I’m able to draw new characters with just a mere thought.”

Oda expressed his hope that One Piece would have a lifespan longer than that of the current generation, eventually striving for the series to outlast all other collective works of art as a whole. When the existence of humanity itself ceases to exist, Oda assured readers that the eternal adventures of One Piece would continue in its place.

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