MICHAEL J BLAIR

Perthshire, Scotland

In the last few months, many unusual people have visited Antarctica. From Papal emissaries to retired astronauts. Heads of state and more minor functionaries have shown more than a passing interest in this very inhospitable part of the planet.

Now, why would people who aren’t natural tourists travel vast distances to see snow and ice? With the possibility of a penguin landing in their lap being the only form of entertainment available, this just doesn’t make sense.

We already know the Russians have been busy in the area as have the US. But busy doing what?

The latest information on this strange behaviour is that it could be a final refuge for the world elite and the evil puppet masters, from a near future apocalyptic event.

Or possibly a very exclusive holiday destination for the super rich?

We don’t really know, and the majority of the public probably doesn’t care, but it could be happening.

These people didn’t get where they are, without knowing which way the wind is blowing.

So something is going on, and we will be the last to be told. Or maybe not told, and left to face whatever unspeakable horror is lurking round the corner.

Let’s say that the last refuge idea is correct. The only thing which would make these people do something this drastic, is a nuclear wipe out.

The meteor heading towards earth theory is a fairly remote possibility, and it would wipe out the entire planet, so hiding in a big igloo isn’t going to save anyone’s ass.

The only thing which makes sense is the nuclear option. All other types of war are profit making schemes, with minimal risk or effort on the part of the global string pullers. An event which makes the rats scurry off to visit the penguins has to be the reason.

I haven’t heard anything about Nicola Sturgeon visiting the area, but I imagine she wouldn’t be wanted, as it’s cold enough already!

What could trigger the final human act of stupidity?

We have an insane American President. A mad woman in charge of the UK. Europe is run by some of the most corrupt politicians money can buy.

Russia has a president marginally less nuts than that of the USA.

China is run by a committee of doddering old men.

North Korea’s leader actually makes Putin and Trump look almost sane, so I think the trigger of the starting pistol will be pulled by the wee fat psycho with the pudding bowl haircut!

Why would this silly wee man do something so obviously self-destructive?

He is deluded by the absolute power he wields in his poverty strewn country.

Minor hiccups like misfiring missiles, are treated like amazing successes.

He really believes he is the natural leader of the world, and that’s just for a start.

Of course, he could be doing a Saddam Hussein, and lying about his weaponry.

This would be tragic.

Imagine the superpowers taking first shot at the idiot with nuclear weapons only to find out there were none!

This could make life very uncomfortable for everyone. Millions of people displaced. Part of a continent uninhabitable. Radio active fallout swirling around the world, affecting almost all countries.

The recriminations which would naturally follow, could mean more destruction between the East and West. Despite the smouldering countryside, they would be fighting over territory, useless to everyone.

This is not going to be helpful when planning one’s retirement, and house prices would fluctuate wildly!

This is a possible scenario for the evacuation of the world’s bowels into the pristine white world of the South Pole.

The people who would go there are the true effluent of our society, and deserve to spend the rest of their lives in a large cold hole in the ground, surrounded by hysterical radio active penguins.

Could all of this nonsense happen?

Possibly, but only if utter stupidity is allowed its head.

Hopefully, common sense will prevail, but don’t hold your breath. You know who the participants are in this fiasco!

Follow The Party of Common Sense on Twitter, at @tpocs

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[image of Antarctica’s flag courtesy of B1mbo, Wikimedia Commons]

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