Possibly insane guy whose name I can never remember: Did you hear what NBC's decided to do? Listen, NBC, good intentions, raise some money for victims, but the timing is more than suspect. NBC today is gonna put together what they're calling 'Hurricane Sandy, Coming Together', a concert. The question is, it's gonna be Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen, Sting, Aguilera, Billy Joel—the question is, why the timing? Why is that today? Half the state of New Jersey doesn't even have power, they can't even watch this concert—is this more political, is this more let's get this thing on TV before the election to make President Obama look presidential, or is it more to help out victims? Guy whose name is Steve Doocy, which I remember only because he says dumb things with more frequency than the other guy: It does look like they are trying to squeeze things in, keep in mind, there you've got Bon Jovi, and Bruce Springsteen, both supported the President of the United States, Barack Obama, and in fact Mr. Springsteen I believe has been traveling with the President of the United States, uh, where are the conservative performers? There aren't any on the list I saw. Now remember last time, when NBC did the event for Katrina, do you remember Kanye West where he said George Bush doesn't care about black people? And Mike Myers, standing right next to him, had that shocked look on his face? How's NBC gonna, you know, that's the picture right there. How's NBC gonna control what the people say? Original possibly insane guy, who I think is probably not so much insane as faking it for his sweet, sweet paycheck: But the point is—the last one, for Hurricane Katrina, I'm sorry Gretchen, was ten days after … at least, at least, all right maybe it was 9/11, it was 9/11, it was ten days after, it let the city get its feet under itself first before they went to this. This just seems like a rush job, because the election is gonna be three days after that. Guy who I am pretty sure is Doocy, I think?: It is a hurricane benefit, or a concert for Obama? Guy of indeterminate sanity: I dunno.

I am only shocked that it took as long as it did, but yes, now Fox News is having a sad that NBC's Hurricane Sandy fundraising concert is going to have too many darn liberals and not enough conservatives. And why are they doing it now, right before the election? Why don't they tell the hurricane victims to piss off for another week or two, rather than scandalously show people on TV who have previously expressed support for the not-Republican-guy? That's the whole problem with Hurricane Sandy. It's just so damn inconvenient for those stupid meteorologists to have scheduled it right before the election. And then NBC rubs it in by showing liberals on television!

For those of you unfamiliar with your crackpot Fox News hosts, Fox & Friends is basically a version of Fox News dumbed down for even dumber people. They take all the talking points from regular Fox News during that day, but present them in a higher-pitched, less brain-intensive version. People are tired, that early in the morning, and possibly still drunk from their night-long griping session about how government just needs to get off their back and let companies pipe toxic sludge directly to their home faucets. You're not supposed to really watch Fox & Friends, you're supposed to just leave it on in the background so that you can absorb the information via emotional, conspiratorial osmosis, or maybe so when you leave for the day your pets can hear the noise and still think their crazy, ranting owner is still muttering away in a corner somewhere. I don't know what pills Roger Ailes slips into the three hosts' drinks every morning, but someone should really call the FDA or the SPCA or something—because these folks just ain't right.

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