Back when I was a whole lot more unscrupulous, I would begin meetings by letting people know exactly how I liked to be addressed. Then, I would lay out some ground rules for how and when attendants should express themselves. They would usually go along, even if only to be polite. All of these ridiculous theatrics actually served more than just to please my ego. I brought people to my playing field and conditioning them to express themselves the way I instructed. I already had control over their minds before even getting down to business. If you will obey a rule that is useless and arbitrary, is there anything else that you won’t do?

When you refrain from using profanity because of social pressure, you take away some of your freedom and allow yourself to be controlled by the masses. One way most people let their speech be conditioned every day is by not using profanity. Of course, some words have appropriately been removed from everyday vernacular for their discriminatory connotations. Still, there are many more that are not accepted in polite conversation even though most people are willing to use them in more casual circumstances. We even have motivating swear word coloring books now, and they are amazing.

An Outdated Censorship

Profane words like shit, fucking and cock are only considered distasteful because of people who chose to censor themselves due to pressure from an outside group, the Normans in this case. When England was invaded in 1066, many of the common Anglo-Saxon words used by the people were considered bad, and their Latinate versions were favored, such as feces, fornication and penis.

Since we don’t have a germophobic dictator like Hitler trying to tell us to avoid so-called crude language, then there is no point in oppressing our own use of language or applying social sanctions and looking down on those who are not afraid of talking freely. There is something quite authoritarian and terribly oppressive in trying to censor words related to natural human impulses. The Latinate versions of those words just don’t sound natural and they distant the speaker from what the words are there to describe. And it’s so ridiculous that we care so much about what an 11th century Frenchman would think of us that we will not use the Anglo-Saxon versions of common words after all these years.

It also makes no sense that people should cling on to outdated religious sanctions on language. Even today, so many people go out of their way to self-censor curse words that have no real significance in society anymore. I have always found that French speakers don’t see profanity as severely as English speakers. That tends also to be the case in secular Quebec. However, a few curse words that date to the province’s profoundly religious past and are still seen with great shock. One of those words is tabanak. Thankfully, I rarely meet English speakers who still think goddamn is a terrible thing to say. It was always just an Orwellian power play by the church to control the very language people can use. Doesn’t it seem awfully silly that you wouldn’t even be able to use the name of a god as you want, especially when scripture claims him to be all-powerful?

When Profanity Is Still Illegal Today

But, as if all the self-censoring wasn’t already bad enough, there are places where you can get into actual legal trouble for using profanity. And that’s not just in Russia. It seems like we may not be as progressive as we once thought. Despite being unconstitutional under the first amendment, Virginia still has laws against swearing in public, which continue to be enforced sporadically since first appearing in 1860. Likewise, the city council of the British city Salford Quays had a ban on profanity until recently, carrying a fine of £1,000. In reality, this should be one of the places that celebrate free speech the most, since it is where MediaCityUK is located, with offices from the BBC and ITV. How ridiculous is it that courts and police officers should be busied enforcing this tripe?

The simple truth is that people who use profanity are the so-called sons of bitches. They deserve our resolute protection precisely for that reason. The tyrants who seek to curb our freedoms always go after the people who are different and controversial first. And they will even say that they are doing this for the well-being of society. But if you accept the censorship of written or spoken words, whatever they may be, you condition people to accept the suppression of other forms of free speech. It’s a simple escalation of commitment.

The Nature of Profanity

There is something quite natural about using swear words. On some occasions, we just need to let our animalistic instincts play out. Like a happy and excited dog may bark, sometimes the proper answer to a joyous surprise is to yell out holy shit. That same phrase is also quite adequate when screeching in pain. As it turns out, the sounds animals make are not all that different from the human use of profanity, often reserved for occasions of fear, pain and emotional turmoil.

While I may be strongly in favor of the widespread use of profanity, I will still hold my tongue in the presence of children. I believe that is the right thing to do despite that fact it is a pointless endeavor. Children do not become proficient in the language that is formally taught to them. They learn the language in the streets and from society, which obviously comes with all sorts of profanity. I am still to meet a 13-year-old who does not know a handful of “bad” words. Even if they don’t socialize, at some point in their lives, they will still probably come across a movie like The Wolf of Wall Street, with its 569 uses of fuck.

Such animosity towards a few words that society deems profane often has the effect of only making them more tantalizing, a linguistic forbidden fruit. I still remember this homeschooled boy scout from my freshman year in college. He was so happy to finally be free from what undoubtedly were his parent’s draconian rules against profanity that he tried to add the most exceptional and versatile expletive in the English language, fuck, to every sentence coming out of his mouth, even when completely unnecessary. It was so boring for the rest of us. Honestly, profanity is boring; it tends to be repetitive and unoriginal. If you want to cause offense or insult people, there are many better ways to go about doing it if you try to use some actual wit for a change. Out of all the great insults in the TV show Succession, my favorite was when they said a guy had a mind like a balloon instead of just calling him a fucking idiot. I have since incorporated this saying into my repertoire and I already used it to insult a few people with great success.

Profanity as a Guarantor of Free Speech

Censorship is a disgusting practice, regardless of whether it is self-inflicted, coerced by draconian laws, or enforced through the implicit threat of social sanctions. Being offensive is the ultimate form of free speech. We should keep exercising this right even if only to remind ourselves and whomever it may concern that we are allowed to say whatever we want, and that is how we like it.

We must always resist ridiculous power grabs by control freaks who seek to dominate our lives. When it becomes acceptable to censor even just one word, there is a pernicious effect of tolerance towards censorship. Free speech is eroded from the fringes. After all, we only need to reassert our right to say what is controversial, not to sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. We need free speech for revolutionary ideas that could be dangerous to the existing power structures.

If you are feeling pumped about profanity after reading this, you should get one these lovely mugs that make great gifts for friends and family. Or why not just go around the workplace with one of them? It’s what we call of a conversation starter. If that doesn’t work but you are an adult who likes coloring books, at least get yourself a coloring book that is for adults only, like this profanity-laced piece of work. It’s especially good if you are feeling stressed. Harness the power of profanity to make your life better. But if you want something a little more serious, you can get Michael Adams’ book on the subject, In Praise of Profanity. If none of that works, get yourself a Shakespeare profanity party game.

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