Isn’t it irritating when you watch someone continuously get their own way in life? The right parking spot, the right job, the perfect relationship and so on. We may find ourselves at war as we face the reflection in the mirror each day and ask: “Why is it that I am failing? What am I doing wrong?”Many people use positive affirmations daily, yet they still can’t understand why their life isn’t working the way they want it to! First of all affirmations need to be planted into our subconscious. It is no good waking up and telling yourself that you look good either when you don’t believe it. You have to really believe it! And in order for anything to work you must first understand what it is you want to change and why you want to change it.You may not be happy with the way in which you approach relationships. You may have become sick and tried of worrying, tried endless tactics and yet still you can’t seem to form a grip of your anxieties.In order for our affirmations to work effectively we must first come to grips with our demons, we must address our anxieties. One of the reasons why affirmations don’t work for some people is A – they lose motivation to do them everyday (at least 3-5 times). And B they worry continuously that the affirmations will not work. [1] Dr Wayne W Dyer explains that it’s been proven that the thoughts we choose have everything to do with our emotions. I can tell you that a commitment to feeling good can take away a stomach ache, fear, depression, sadness, anxiety - you name it. Any stress signal is a way of alerting you to say the five magic words: I want to feel good. This is your intention to be tranquil and stress free - and it’s a way of connecting to spirit.When we let go of the fear of failure we give yourself permission to not just connect with ourselves but also with spirit and the universe as a whole. Working on your own core values first is impetrative otherwise you will not be able to establish what it is exactly that you want to achieve. Asking yourself what you value is a key step forwards.If you value a good, committed relationship and have failed miserably at this in the past then it is time to adjust your settings so that you can welcome in new ones. In this case you may come to recognise that the reason you have attracted unfaithful lovers is because you, yourself have not confirmed your values enough to yourself.Daily you would need to repeat:As soon as you receive a drive to create an affirmation you should do this! It doesn’t even have to be in written format it could be something that you constantly repeat in your mind over and over.“ I have no reason to doubt myself, I feel good, and I am good”.Many people choose to repeat these to themselves before an important business meeting, date or family debate. This allows you the strength and power to stay in control. Not only are you telling yourself this but you are also confirming this with the universe. We forget that we incessantly send out vibes and signals to others, it’s written in our body language and leaks out in our tones of speech and therefore people react to this unknowingly. So it is important to remember that you are always in control.Where to start?First of all it is important that you crystallise your desires. What do you want to achieve and why? Ask yourself why things might be failing. Are you too bored to move? Are you frightened of breaking routine? Are you in fear of standing up to your partner in case you lose them? If so why? And what is it you will lose exactly?When we allow forces outside of ourselves to take over we must immediately stop and reflect or we will lead ourselves down a path of misery where we feel immobile and depleted.You must not start an affirmation by putting yourself down either. For example:“I must try harder in relationships, I must try and make them work”. This is no good as we are not getting to the core of the issue. Why is it you need to make it work? What is it about yourself that you are prepared to give and not give?The “I must” needs to change to “I believe”. “I believe I have the drive and determination to make things happen”. Once we find that rainbow of light within ourselves we must open it up and spread it out. Then day after day we watch our prayers being answered.Affirmations are about restoring our inner sense of faith and trust.“I feel fantastic in my own skin, I have nothing to change about myself and fully accept and appreciate who I am”“I understand and appreciate why my friends like me and spend time with me”.“I have all the time in the world to achieve my goals, nothing will stand in my way”.“In my heart I know I can find a love that matches my true spirit and as each day unfolds I draw myself closer to that person”.“I have a lot to be proud of and I value my mind, body and spirit. I will not allow anyone else’s opinion to shade my view as I know myself too well”.