Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich leaves the Dirksen Federal Building following a hearing on April 21, 2010 in Chicago, Illinois. Photo : Scott Olson ( Getty Images )

There are some words and phrases in the English language that are open to interpretation, while others—like “criminal”—are pretty cut-and-dried.


Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is a fucking criminal.



While most would point to his terrible dye job as proof that he belongs behind bars, there’s also the fact that he racked up an astounding list of charges, including wire fraud, attempted extortion and conspiracy to solicit bribes—oh, you didn’t know that he tried to auction off Barack Obama’s Senate seat after our Forever President was elected?—while serving as governor before he was eventually sentenced to 14 years in prison in 2011.




Because last I checked, that’s exactly where criminals belong.

Unfortunately, there are people like President What’s His Face who believe Blagojevich was somehow “treated unbelievably unfairly,” and as a result, the 63-year-old criminal will have his sentence commuted by the same guy who just Cupid Shuffled his way out of impeachment.

No, really.



From the Washington Post:

President Trump has decided to commute the prison sentence of Rod R. Blagojevich, the former Democratic governor of Illinois convicted on corruption charges in 2011 related to trying to sell then-President Barack Obama’s vacated Senate seat, according to a senior administration official. Word of Trump’s decision to use his clemency powers on behalf of Blagojevich came shortly after the White House announced a pardon for Edward DeBartolo Jr., the former owner of the San Francisco 49ers football team, who pleaded guilty two decades ago for failing to report a felony.


Others who were granted pardons include insider trader extraordinaire Michael Milken, investor Ariel Friedler, and former NYPD commissioner Bernard Kerik, while Tynice Nicole Hall and Crystal Munoz were among those who received commutations.



Once news of Blagojevich’s clemency hit the streets, there were those who were understandably less than pleased.


“Illinoisans have endured far too much corruption,” Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker said in a statement. “President Trump has abused his pardon power in inexplicable ways to reward his friends and condone corruption...I deeply believe this pardon sends the wrong message at the wrong time.”


It’s also hard to ignore the eerie similarities between the individuals that were pardoned and the crimes that both Trump and his advisors have been accused of.


Blagojevich’s corrupt ass has yet to comment publicly on his commutation, but I would imagine that when he does, it will be something along the lines of thanking Trump for accepting his lucrative bribe.

After all, the disgraced governor once said it himself: “You don’t just give it away for nothing.”