(I have been out the back making dough before serving the customer. I haven’t had time to clean myself up a bit, so I have flour on my shirt.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: *looking at my shirt* “Can I speak to the manager right away, please?”

Me: *confused* “Um, okay.”

(I call the manager over.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “I want to complain about this employee. He has drugs on his shirt. He should be fired immediately!”

Manager: *joking* “But, then, where would I get my supply from?”

Customer: *looks shocked, and then storms out of the store*

Next customer in line: “Can I get a Hawaiian pizza on the thin base with extra drugs, please?”