Never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes, so the saying goes. And especially if that mile is through “muddy slush”, and going diametrically in the wrong direction from Salisbury station, away from the very cathedral and its famous 123-metre spire you had come to see, and right towards the CCTV cameras that would make you, two innocent sports nutritionists from Moscow, the prime suspects in the attempted assassination by nerve agent of a Russian traitor turned British spy.

Not even in the very bleakest case studies on ITV’s short-lived Holidays from Hell series has anyone been quite so unfortunate as Ruslan Boshirov and Alexander Petrov. Breakfast buffets would regularly underwhelm. Promises about inclusive jet ski rental would go unkept. E coli would rip through cruise ships and Sicilian holiday resorts would be felled by earthquakes right in the middle of the Around the World cabaret.

But never did two Russian men not only have their short weekend using London as a base to explore Salisbury by train ruined with snow, the bad weather making it simply impossible for them to be among the 1,200 or so people who somehow still managed to visit Stonehenge that day, but six months later their miserable weekend would also land them in the firing line for the most internationally notorious murder and attempted murder in decades.

Ordinarily, this is the sort of thing that would end with at least a strongly worded letter to the tour operator, but in the absence of such a possibility, a sit down interview with your country’s state backed TV channel will have to do.

No wonder they looked so grumpy, in the interview these two innocent civilians, the same ones pictured in CCTV footage released by British police and named as murderers, have now done with Russia Today.

Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack Show all 19 1 /19 Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack CCTV – Salisbury train station The two suspects charged in relation to the attack on Sergei and Yulia Skripal at Salisbury train station at 16:11hrs on 03 March 2018 Metropolitan Police Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack Suspects Suspects Ruslan Boshirov and Alexander Petrov, Russian nationals, approximately 40 years old, who travelled on a Russian passport. It is likely that they were travelling under aliases and that these are not their real names Metropolitan Police Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack Evidence Bottle and applicator recovered by police from Charlie Rowley’s address in Muggleton Road Metropolitan Police Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack Evidence A counterfeit perfume box that was discovered by nerve agent victim Charlie Rowley, who later gave it, and the bottle inside, to his girlfriend Dawn Sturgess Metropolitan Police/AFP/Getty Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack Rowley has previously said he felt lucky to be alive after giving a perfume bottle that contained the nerve agent Novichok to his girlfriend Dawn Sturgess, who later died Metropolitan Police/AFP/Getty Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack Suspeccts The CPS has issued European Arrest Warrants for the extradition of 'Boshirov' and 'Petrov' in connection with the Novichok poisoning attack on Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia in March Metropolitan Police/PA Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack CCTV – ‘Boshirov' at Gatwick airport Movements in detail - At 3pm on Friday, 2 March, the suspects arrived at Gatwick airport, having flown from Moscow on Aeroflot flight SU2588 Metropolitan Police Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack CCTV – ‘Petrov’ at Gatwick airport From the airport it is believed that they travelled by train into London, arriving at Victoria station at approximately 5.40pm Metropolitan Police Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack CCTV – Salisbury train station, 11:48hrs on 4 March 2018 They then travelled on London public transport to Waterloo station and were in the area between approximately 6pm and 7pm. They travelled to the City Stay Hotel in Bow Road, East London, where they stayed on Friday, 2 March, and Saturday, 3 March. On Saturday, 3 March, they left the hotel and took the underground to Waterloo station, arriving at approximately 11.45am, where they caught a train to Salisbury, arriving at approximately 2.25pm Metropolitan Police Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack City Stay Hotel in Bow Road Police officers stand outside the City Stay Hotel in Bow where on Sunday, 4 March, 'Boshirov' and 'Petrov' made the same journey from the hotel as they did the previous day, again using the underground from Bow to Waterloo station at approximately 8.05am, before continuing their journey by train to Salisbury Getty Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack CCTV – Wilton Road, Salisbury, 11:58hrs on 4 March 2018 CCTV shows them in the vicinity of Mr Skripal’s house and we believe that they contaminated the front door with Novichok Metropolitan Police Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack CCTV – Fisherton Road CCTV image of both suspects on Fisherton Road, Salisbury at 13:05hrs on 4 March, 2018 Metropolitan Police Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack CCTV – Salisbury train station, 13:50hrs on 4 March 2018 They left Salisbury and returned to Waterloo Station, arriving at approximately 4.45pm and boarded the London Underground at approximately 6.30pm to London Heathrow Airport Metropolitan Police Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack CCTV – Heathrow airport security, 19:28hrs on 4 March 2018 From Heathrow Airport, they returned to Moscow on Aeroflot flight SU2585, departing at 10.30pm Metropolitan Police/PA Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack Scene investigations The police investigation was carried out over 6 months. Ex-Russian spy Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia were found on March 4 in a critical condition on a bench outside the Maltings shopping centre in Salisbury AFP Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack Victims Former Russian spy Sergei Skripal, right, and his daughter Yulia Rex Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack Victims Detective Sergeant Nick Bailey who rushed to the aid of the Skripals was also taken to hospital in a serious condition after falling ill when attempting to help them PA Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack Victims Dawn Sturgess, a 44-year-old mother of three, died after falling ill when partner Charlie Rowley gave her a perfume bottle that contained the nerve agent Novichok Facebook/AFP/Getty Police release images of suspects in connection with Salisbury attack Scene investigations The home of Charlie Rowley in Muggleton Road, Amesbury, where he and Dawn Sturgess were exposed to the deadly nerve agent Novichok PA

“Just one day changed our lives,” says Ruslan, alternating his glance between the camera and his friend, looking never more like two 14-year-olds in the headmaster’s office. “Our life was turned upside down in a moment.”

At this point, cynics might interject and suggest life was also turned upside down for Sergei Skripal, Yulia Skripal, Dawn Sturgess, Charlie Rowley, Detective Sergeant Nick Bailey, a cat and two guinea pigs.

But it turns out, actually, that poor Ruslan Boshirov and Alexander Petrov are to be added to the list of victims in this ever more mysterious crime.

Perhaps they are just unlucky. We certainly didn’t hear any more about other holidays they’ve been on that have turned to disaster. It may well be that this was the first mini break they’d been brave enough to take after their ill advised trip to Pompeii in AD 79 also ended in disaster.

It is easy to laugh, and when it is easy to laugh, one always should. In the age of fake news, lies and misinformation, when something comes along that is as palpably ridiculous as this, laughing is absolutely the correct thing to do.