When Scott Pruitt—a.k.a. Grifter King, a.k.a. 2018’s Most Blatantly Corrupt Trump Official, a.k.a. Mr. How ’Bout a Chick-fil-A Franchise for My Wife—resigned in disgrace this past July, stories about his comically corrupt ways had been emerging on a near-daily basis. Thanks to these revelations, which became so frequent that he was forced to quit despite the exceptional job he was doing destroying the environment, we learned of his decision to:

-Use his position to attempt to score his wife a Chick-fil-A franchise and a $200,000-a-year job;

Treat E.P.A. staffers like personal assistants whose jobs included picking up dry cleaning, hunting for a particular type of lotion, and paying for his fancy hotel stays.

But, like a dying man who leaves behind a letter for his wife to find long after he’s gone, our King of Grift appears to have saved the best for last: