INT. VELTHOMER CASTLE - AFTERNOON

Holy Lord and Saviour DARK PRINCE JULIUS FALA is arguing with Wacky Camus archetype PRINCESS ISHTAR TORDO. JULIUS tries to hug ISHTAR but she shakes him off.

JULIUS

Please Ishtar, don't leave me.

ISHTAR

I'm sorry Julius, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.

JULIUS

I am such a person!

ISHTAR frowns.

ISHTAR

I'm sorry, Julius. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.

ISHTAR leaves.

JULIUS sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, loyal Deadlord GENERAL MUS RISEN barges in looking flustered.

JULIUS

Goodness, Mus! Is everything okay?

MUS

I'm afraid not.

JULIUS

What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...

MUS

It's ... a Dragon ... I saw an evil Dragon Infect a bunch of Children!

JULIUS

Defenseless Children?

MUS

Yes, defenseless Children!

JULIUS

Bloomin' heck, Mus! We've got to do something.

MUS

I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.

JULIUS

You can start by telling me where this happened.

MUS

I was...

MUS fans himself and begins to wheeze.

JULIUS

Focus Mus, focus! Where did it happen?

MUS

Belhalla! That's right - Belhalla!

JULIUS springs up and begins to run.

EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

JULIUS rushes along the street, followed by MUS. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

EXT. BELHALLA - SHORTLY AFTER

JULIA NAGA a mean Dragon terrorises two Children.

JULIUS, closely followed by MUS, rushes towards JULIA, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

MUS

What is is? What's the matter?

JULIUS

That's not just any old Dragon, that's Julia Naga!

MUS

Who's Julia Naga?

JULIUS

Who's Julia Naga? Who's Julia Naga? Only the most mean Dragon in the universe!

MUS

Blinkin' knickers, Julius! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most mean Dragon in the universe!

JULIUS

You can say that again.

MUS

Blinkin' knickers, Julius! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most mean Dragon in the universe!

JULIUS

I'm going to need Wyrmslayer, lots of Wyrmslayer.

Julia turns and sees Julius and Mus. She grins an evil grin.

JULIA

Julius Fala, we meet again.

MUS

You've met?

JULIUS

Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young JULIUS is sitting in a park listening to some Jazz music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees JULIA. He takes off his headphones.

JULIA

Would you like some Cinamon rolls?

JULIUS's eyes light up, but then he studies JULIA more closely, and looks uneasy.

JULIUS

I don't know, you look kind of mean.

JULIA

Me? No. I'm not mean. I'm the least mean Dragon in the world.

JULIUS

Wait, you're a Dragon?

JULIUS runs away, screaming.

EXT. BELHALLA - PRESENT DAY

JULIA

You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

MUS

(To JULIUS) You ran away?

JULIUS

(To MUS) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?

JULIUS turns to JULIA.

JULIUS

I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!

JULIUS runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

JULIUS

I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with Wyrmslayer.

JULIA

I'm not scared of you.

JULIUS

You should be.

INT. GRANVALE CASTLE - LATER THAT DAY

JULIUS and MUS walk around searching for something.

JULIUS

I feel sure I left my Wyrmslayer somewhere around here.

MUS

Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly Wyrmslayer.

JULIUS

You know nothing Mus Risen.

MUS

We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.

Suddenly, JULIA appears, holding a pair of Wyrmslayer.

JULIA

Looking for something?

MUS

Crikey, Julius, she's got your Wyrmslayer.

JULIUS

Tell me something I don't already know!

MUS

The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

JULIUS

I know that already!

MUS

The Prince has no weakness.

JULIA

(appalled) Dude!

While JULIA is looking at MUS with disgust, JULIUS lunges forward and grabs his deadly Wyrmslayer. He wields them, triumphantly.

JULIUS

Prepare to die, you mean Corrin!

JULIA

No please! All I did was Infect a bunch of Children!

ISHTAR enters, unseen by any of the others.

JULIUS

I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those Children were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Julius Fala defender of innocent Children.

JULIA

Don't hurt me! Please!

JULIUS

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these Wyrmslayer on you right away!

JULIA

Because Julius, I am your mother.

JULIUS looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

JULIUS

No you're not!

JULIA

Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

JULIA tries to grab the Wyrmslayer but JULIUS dodges out of the way.

JULIUS

Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?

Unexpectedly, JULIA slumps to the ground.

MUS

Did she just faint?

JULIUS

I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly Wyrmslayer.

JULIUS crouches over JULIA's body.

MUS

Be careful, Julius. It could be a trick.

JULIUS

No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Julia Naga is dead!

JULIUS

What?

JULIUS

Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.

MUS claps his hands.

MUS

So your Wyrmslayer did save the day, after all.

ISHTAR steps forward.

ISHTAR

Is it true? Did you kill the mean Dragon?

JULIUS

Ishtar how long have you been...?

ISHTAR puts her arm around JULIUS.

ISHTAR

Long enough.

JULIUS

Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Julia Naga.

ISHTAR

Then the Children are safe?

JULIUS

It does seem that way!

A crowd of vulnerable Children enter, looking relived.

ISHTAR

You are their hero.

The Children bow to JULIUS.

JULIUS

There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Julia Naga will never Infect Children ever again, is enough for me.

ISHTAR

You are humble as well as brave!

One of the Children passes JULIUS a Dank Memes

ISHTAR

I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

JULIUS

I couldn't possibly.

Pause.

JULIUS

Well, if you insist.

JULIUS takes the Memes.

JULIUS

Thank you.

The Children bow their heads once more, and leave.

JULIUS turns to ISHTAR.

JULIUS

Does this mean you want me back?

ISHTAR

Oh, Julius, of course I want you back!

JULIUS smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

JULIUS

Well you can't have me.

ISHTAR

WHAT?

JULIUS

You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a Dragon to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.

ISHTAR

But...

JULIUS

Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Mus.

MUS grins.

ISHTAR

But...

MUS

You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

ISHTAR

Julius?

JULIUS

I'm sorry Ishtar, but I think you should skidaddle.

ISHTAR leaves.

MUS turns to JULIUS.

MUS

Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?

JULIUS

Of course you are!

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly MUS stops.

MUS

When I said The Prince has no weakness, you know I was just trying to distract the Dragon don't you?

THE END