These are taken from NPR's transcript of the first presidential debate. Only newlines have been inserted.







Ode to Sean Hannity

I then spoke to Sean Hannity

which everyone refuses to call Sean Hannity.

I had numerous conversations with Sean Hannity

at Fox.

And Sean Hannity said,

and he called me the other day.

And I spoke to him about it.







Computers

So we had to get very very tough

on cyber

and cyber warfare.

It is a huge problem.

I have a son –

he’s ten years old.

He has computers.

He is so good with these computers.

It’s unbelievable.







My Company

I built an unbelievable company,

some of the greatest assets

anywhere in the world,

real estate assets

anywhere in the world,

beyond the United States.

In Europe,

lots of different places.

It’s an unbelievable company.







Her Website

I think I should -

you go to her website,

she’s going to raise taxes

1.3 trillion dollars

and look at her website.

You know what,

it’s no different than this.

She’s telling us how to fight ISIS.

Just go to her website.

She tells you how to fight ISIS

on her website.







Jobs

I’m really calling for

major jobs

because the wealthy are going to create

tremendous jobs.

They’re going to expand their companies.

They’re going to do a

tremendous job.







Guns

we had to take the guns away

from these people

that have them and

that are bad people

that shouldn’t have them.

These are felons and

these are people

that are bad people

that shouldn’t be…







Travel

I just left Detroit and

I just left Philadelphia and

I just –

you know,

you’ve seen me,

I been all over the place.

You decided to stay home,

and that’s OK.

But I will tell you

I’ve been all over







I'd read about the Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld, but it was only after making these that I remembered it. If you want more nonsense like this, check out DeepDrumpf on Twitter and RoboTrumpDNN on GitHub. Thanks goes to Gwern for digging up those links.