After two summers ~in~ Paradise (experiencing all the highs, lows, dates, roses, and shoreline cryfests that come with the show), Bachelor vet Ashley Iaconetti sat this summer's season out. But that doesn't mean she won't be watching along, and offering her 'been there, done that' insight! Here, she recaps the moments that matter from the fourth, oft-controversial, BiP season for Cosmopolitan.com.

Look, I've found Dean's behavior relatively defensible up until this point last week's recap, but I can’t defend Dean anymore. And I don’t think he’d want me to either. It’s one thing to be 'confused' and to be trying to get to know two girls in Paradise, but it’s quite another to give a girl a rose and sleep with her and then make out with another girl a matter of 12 hours later…in front of the first girl's face! Let me say that again: Dean had sex with Kristina and then made out with Danielle in her presence hours later. Even if the smooching was in private, it would still be a skeezy move! What's funny about all of this is that if he were the Bachelor he'd be kissing multiple girls during a cocktail party and/or possibly sleeping with three girls in three filming days and no one would blink an eye. I guess it's just a different world as far as Paradise does. And the cast goes into the process aware that that's how it goes.

It’s obvious that Dean is highly physically attracted to Danielle, but knows that he has the emotional and mental connection to Kristina. He’s just trying to stall making a decision between the two.

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I like to think of Paradise as being at least a little bit classier than a frat house, and I especially like to think of my dear friend Dean as better than this behavior. I know we all do things we regret and I know he regrets this — it sucks to have it documented and broadcasted to millions. But that being said, it doesn’t excuse the fact that Dean was being completely insensitive to Kristina’s feelings during that pool scene.

Of course, after so many conversations between Kristina and Dean about his need for her to be patient, you’d think Kristina would just dump his ass. But let’s be real. While that what we want to see from our reality TV heroines, this is reality, and most of us cannot let go that easily. Your mind wants to give up, but your heart won’t let you.



Another big douchebro moment this week came from John Krasinksi lookalike Derek. I promise, once you've seen it, you can't unsee it!

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Now, he and Taylor are the only people in Paradise in a "committed relationship," and they’re usually cute and all, but can we talk about that “fuck you” comment? I was disturbed to my soul by this moment.

ABC

First off, never curse at a girl; secondly, never curse at a girl with such... darkness in the delivery? This wasn't an in-the-moment cussword thrown down in the middle of a passionate, blow out fight. Taylor and Derek were having a calm discussion about how they’ve had very little alone time, they were naturally getting on each other’s nerves a little, and I guess Derek felt like she was being condescending or belittling in her explanation? (Taylor can get like that, but still.) This was not OK!

To make matters worse, when Taylor explained later how deep those words cut her because of her history in verbally abusive relationships, he didn’t seem too apologetic. He wasn’t being receptive. He was cold. I really don’t know how Taylor got to the point of accepting his rose a day or so later. If he handles mild confrontation like that, run away.

As promised, we also need to talk about Christen, aka "scallop fingers." You may remember Christen as the chirpy sweet girl who tattled on Liz (you know, that messy 'they hooked up before the show!' storyline) during Nick Viall's season. To me, she's comes across very differently in Paradise than she did on Nick’s season. Between then and Paradise, she gained the nickname "scallop fingers" because, well, let Alexis explain:

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If we’re basing relationships off nicknames, then she and Jonathan the Tickler make sense; Christen seems mostly interested in him because he’s a doctor. But she's also made a play for Jack Stone, and Matt.

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Guys, can we just talk about how slim the man pickings are this season? Jack Stone has kissed multiple women and Matt, one of the blandest people I’ve ever seen on this show, is being fought over! Jasmine, you see, has no time for another woman staking a claim on Matt.

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Her anger over him and Christen going on a date is borderline comical — she did say she was going to give ABC good TV. (I love how she broke the fourth wall there.) On their return, she wastes no time in letting Matt know what he's been missing, wrapping her legs around Matt and kissed him with gusto! That's a confident, self assured woman there! A tiny bit obnoxious, sure, but really thank goodness for her dramatics, because they're are needed to spice up this season. Does Jasmine even like Matt or does she just want roses and to keep a guy's interest?

Well, we don't really get to find out because Matt leaves Paradise — he apparently doesn’t like either of the girls fighting over him enough to deal with the drama. What a flop! He still gives out a rose though... because sure, why not!?

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I would be tearless if I was on this season; there’s no one worthy of crying over. (But, Dean’s eyes though…) Alexis, someone I think Bachelor Nation wanted to see a lot more of coming of Nick’s season, couldn’t even fake interest in these guys in order for more screen time and props to her.



Props also to Corinne, who finally got to sit down with Chris Harrison and explain her side of the controversy — I think she came across very well. She was clear that she never intended on putting DeMario in a bad light, and that she never accused or blamed him for any wrong-doing. And in particular, she said that she felt a “victim” of the media hysteria surrounding the story as it broke, not of the alleged sexual assault that, you know, was the story (until it wasn't).

ABC

Much of this interview had either been leaked or released in previews like that she explained she had "blacked out" during her encounter with DeMario in the pool because she had been drinking while taking a drug she was recently prescribed — and that she didn't know that mixing the two was so risky. To provide some context on how the show deals with this, I'll say this: I’m on a prescription that isn’t recommended to be mixed with alcohol and I can tell you I was always told multiple times prior to the show not to drink. Did I? Yes, but I like to think I know my limits, have been on this stuff for years, and have never been a partier. Chris Harrison, meanwhile, made sure to mention that she seemed like “normal Corinne” to those watching (i.e. wild and uncensored, but mostly conscious of her choices and, at least, lucid in the moment).



Moving forward, Corinne says she’s very thankful for all the support she received from the show, and has no ill will towards anyone. I hope that, now that all sides have spoken, this scandal can die along with all the old Taylor Swifts.

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Ashley Iaconetti Ashley Iaconetti is our resident Bachelor recapper.

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