In 2009, when I interviewed Rihanna for the Guardian, I asked whether she might use her experiences at the hands of ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown, to help other victims of domestic violence. Brown had been sentenced some months before, for an attack which, according to police documents, involved him shoving Rihanna's head against a car window, punching her repeatedly in the face, biting her left ear and fingers, and placing her in a headlock until she began to lose consciousness. Rihanna was clear. She would like to help others, she said, but "I don't want that stamp going across my head as a victim of domestic violence. As much as I was, that's a part of my life that I want to throw away, that I never want to go through again."

I thought of that conversation, her wish not to be branded by her experiences, when looking at Chris Brown's new neck tattoo. As many have noted, it looks surprisingly like the image of Rihanna that circulated after that attack, a woman with her eyes bruised, lips split, seriously battered. Sources have told gossip website TMZ that it's not of Rihanna, but "a random woman".

But is she meant to look beaten? Early sketches suggest some sort of decoration on her face, rather than bruising, so it's possible the finished article is being misconstrued. In that case, Brown should think twice about revisiting the tattoo artist in question. Because there's no doubt the image calls to mind the biggest scandal of his career, looks absolutely like a pummeled woman, and is in those terms completely sickening.

What's also depressing is that if this is, in fact, the intention, it would actually mark a natural next step in Brown's career path. While he might have been expected to be contrite in the wake of the 2009 attack, he has actually built a strong and burgeoning profile by embracing a bad boy image. He started out as a clean-cut teenager, the kind of singer who made guest appearances on Disney shows, but in the intervening years he has responded angrily to questions about the attack on a breakfast TV show, and after success at the Grammys, tweeted "HATE ALL U WANT BECUZ I GOT A GRAMMY Now! That's the ultimate FUCK OFF!" So he is not exactly keeping his head down and making amends.

He has been rewarded with enormous success, soaring adulation. He's had both a number one single and album in the UK this year, having never charted anything like so highly before the attack. And there are now rumours he may get back together with Rihanna. At the MTV video music awards last week, the two were seen to embrace, and she spoke warmly about him in a recent interview with Oprah Winfrey, describing him as "the love of my life".

If there's one thing more sickening than Brown's new tattoo, it's those who have criticised Rihanna for her renewed relationship with him, suggesting she won't deserve sympathy if she's hurt again. Every time people do this – and many even blamed her for the attack itself – I am reminded of another conversation we had in that 2009 interview, in which we spoke about her relationship with her father, Ronald, a former drug addict who had physically abused her mother. His behaviour had made her hate him, she told me: "Then, one of my school friends, who I was very close to, she knew, and she always used to say, 'You can't hate your father,' that you have to love him, at the end of the day, because he's your father. So I listened, as much as it took out of me."

Rihanna has experience of forgiving men who act brutally, but that forgiveness doesn't carry any responsibility for being hurt. When someone is beaten, the only person with responsibility is the one with the balled-up fist. If Chris Brown's body art reminds us of anything, it should be that.