THE GREAT SPOILER DEBATE

For those who keep accusing me of spoiling Survivor seasons, this one's for you. With love, of course.



I’m told the spoiler greats earn a plague for the wall. I have one, apparently. I hear it’s hanging proudly near the Survivor All-Stars banner with pictures of Mark Burnett and Jeff Probst glaring ominously toward it—fingers pointing, nostrils blaring.



I’ve never seen said plaque. Had I happened upon it, I most certainly would’ve tried to get a selfie with it as it appears to have garnered quite a bit of attention in the online Survivor-hater community. So I’m not confident it’s there. But I’ve heard about it and assume at this point there’s some dust on it that should probably be removed.



Rumor has it that more than a decade ago I spoiled All-Stars out of spite and malice (great card game, btw). I’ve heard it for years and never addressed it publicly because it didn’t really happen. I always thought acknowledging childish gossip was a silly thing to do. But in light of the recent second chance lists and such, several of the message board trolls are emailing and asking about it—stirring up long-settled dirt. So let me put this puppy to bed once and for all.



<LIVE, LOCAL, BREAKING NEWS>

It is true I wrote columns for years on the show and its colorful casts. I wrote and reported for Entertainment Tonight, E! News Live and TV Guide Network. It was a fun time writing about a show I love and I enjoyed the relationship with people on the inside who offered me information to report. I’m not sitting on crystal balls or anything. I don’t know what happens out there. So the hints and tidbits from behind the scenes offered to include in my columns were always appreciated and usually carried an accuracy rate of about 50%. They fed enough to be credible and enough inaccuracies to protect the product. That’s the game. So if it came from them, I (thus they) felt comfortable with me writing it.



<NO MALICE>

Spoilers reveal information with an evil intent, I think. They want to hurt someone or something. That wasn’t me. I wasn’t bitter because I wasn’t cast on All-Stars. Lynne Spillman is fully aware of the conversation we had when she called to ask me to be in consideration for it. I told her then, “I can’t. I just started a job at E!. I don’t want to jeopardize it.” She explained I was a C-tier candidate anyway, so I’d only get the call in an emergency. She knew I didn’t want to be part of it, really. So, the powers that be know what happened regardless of troll activity.



<PLAYING THE GAME>

Writing a column for a TV show is like a game in itself with its own set of rules. Shows want the conversation. They want the publicity without giving away the secrets. Those in the know send out little tidbits of information (some true, some not) and you write what they say, provided it’s not off the record. For the All-Stars, I approached it no differently. My sources took me to lunch as they often did, offered their bits as they did and left me with the impression that what I was reporting was ok to report. I never got an “off the record” kind of thing from these guys. If they said it to me, a reporter, they expected it to be reported. It’s the game.



For this specific season, for some odd reason, a lot of those tidbits were truth. I don't know why, but they were. So to the armchair quarterback at home who surfed the message boards, I was spoiling the show. But to me, I was an instrument for someone causing trouble for some reason way beyond me and my contribution. They were later fired for their trouble causing. So they got their due. And for that, there’s no reason to reveal their name. It’s water under the bridge. I have forgiven them. They know who they are. They know what they did. And I hope when they miss their time in the jungle enjoying Survivor parties they think of me.



<REVEALING THE WINNER>

I predicted Amber would win All-Stars. Yes, I did. That is not something that came to me from a source. That was 100% my guesstimation. I was shocked to see her out there. A list of all the people who did not deserve an All-Star spot because of their lack of game play would begin with Amber, in my opinion. Why was she there? In the Outback, she rode coattails. She never made a game move. There was nothing about her as a player that fit the list of people heading to Panama. She was innocent and weak with no strategy whatsoever.



For those reasons, it was clear to predict Amber as the winner. In a season with snakes, vultures and rats tearing at each other to stay alive in that game, no one would ever worry about little 'ol lamb Amber—as far from a threat as one could be. My assumption was she would float to the end and win because no one felt she’d beat them. And I was 100% correct in that assumption. I never knew who won as nobody does until the live vote. I was an astute player who knew instinctively who the winner would likely be and I predicted it. I was not surprised at all she won. But predicting she would sure did look like I knew something, didn’t it?



It feels good to finally say all this out loud for the first time. I didn’t intend this short note to become this long, but once I opened the gate it all came out. Pardon my ramble. I close with one piece of logic for those who insist I spoiled an important season of Survivor. If I truly spoiled a show out of spite and malice because I didn’t get cast on it, do you think my name would appear on an All-Star list? Like, ever? Don’t you think a proper blackballing would be in order? Think about that, then click in www.cbs.com/survivorsecondchance. If you see my face, there my friends… is your answer once and for all.



And while you're there, #VoteVarner! Thank you!

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