Ladies and gentlemen of the jury

I know you all are in a hurry

And so I’ll make my message swift

And spend my words with careful thrift.

You’ve heard the strident prosecution

Insist on endless retribution

Punishments not known to men

All because of one man’s sin.

Some fruit was eaten long ago

And what an awful mess to show

So here I stand, the great debater

To plea to the irate creator.

You see, my client had no choice

No say, no words, no humble voice

Born a sinner from the start

No chance, no hope; a rotten heart.

Good deeds and will are not enough

To justify that other stuff.

Oh no, we all await instead

Judgment of the quick and dead.

“But wait,” you say, “he had a choice.

If only he had heard my voice!

You see, I warned him many times

Believe, and I’ll absolve your crimes.

For once a long long time ago

With little evidence to show

I sent my son to bear the shame

To conquer death and change the game.

I had him nailed upon a cross

No better way to please the boss.

But death alone would not suffice

I had to bring him back to life!

He turned some water into wine

All in bronze age Palestine

If all of this you could concede

There’d be no pain, there’d be no need.

But it’s all too late for that

Now, burn in hell, ungrateful brat.”

But sir, he lived a noble life.

Never cheating on his wife

Honest to his dying breath

And had no debts upon his death.

He helped the hungry, sick, and poor.

He loved the peace and hated war.

He sought the truth in all his ways.

He read and studied all his days.

So I suppose I’ll keep it brief.

His only crime was disbelief.

And to this much I shall admit

Now to your will I shall submit.

I see his failure to repent

Now burn him ’til your heart’s content.