ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Punters all up and down the Betoota Turf Club beer garden are on the cusp of folding their iPhones in half and throwing them to the shithouse after a number of sports betting apps have spectacularly shit the bed on the biggest day of the year.

All of them – except SportsBet.

Rather than capitulate to the pressures of increased betting traffic today, SportsBet used the biggest race day of the year to upgrade their server and app.

“We appreciate our punters,” said one SportsBet representative.

“Which is why rather than take their money today, we’re making sure our platform is strong enough moving into the future. We’re not about to comment on other apps like Ladbrokes and Bet36Cuck because that’d be unprofessional and crass,”

“To show how much we value our customers, we’re giving them thousands in free bets tomorrow when it really matters.”

The SportsBet outage is set to continue until the day is over.

More to come.