Cottage cheese butt, spare tire, thunder thighs, muffin tops? If you plan on gaining any of these fabulous terms for your body, just look at my favorite comfort foods below. Your taste buds will thank you, but your waistline may not.

Portillo’s Chocolate Cake Milkshake One of the main ingredients in this glorious milkshake is mayonnaise. Yes, I said that correctly, mayonnaise in a milkshake. Mixed in with the ice cream and tiny chunks of blended cake and frosting, this milkshake will be sure to be your jeans’ button breaker. For the many suburb locations, click here.

Cheesecake Factory’s Caesar Salad According to the “Eat This Not That: 2011,” this salad has 1,513 calories, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1,481 milligrams of sodium, and 23 grams of carbohydrates. Didn’t see that one coming did you? Figured you always get the salad so you won’t feel guilty ordering the cheesecake, right? Sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin that for you.



4999 Old Orchard Center

Skokie, IL 60077

(847) 329-8077 930 Milwaukee Ave.

Lincolnshire, IL 60069

(847) 955-2350 2020 Spring Road

Oak Brook, IL 60523

(630) 573-1800 53 Woodfield Road

Schaumburg, IL 60173

(847) 619-1090

RA Sushi’s “Must Have” Rolls It’s a crunchy mess in your mouth—some too big to fit with one bite, but you try anyway. Anything tempura is a must for me. Add cream cheese, and you have sent me to heaven. I make the sausage neck disappear when straining to shove the Viva Las Vegas Roll in my mouth.



310 Yorktown Center

Lombard, IL 60148

Phone: 630.627.6800 2601 Aviator Lane

Glenview, IL 60026

Phone: 847.510.1100

Uno’s Chicago Grill’s Mega-Sized Deep Dish Sundae According to Men’s Health Magazine, this must-have dessert contains three-and-a-half day’s worth of saturated fat and more sugar than you’d find in 14 Twinkies. (Gross, Twinkies.) Even while splitting this dessert four ways, which I choose not to do, you’ll still take in more than twice as many calories as you would with a hot fudge sundae at McDonald’s, according to the book “Eat This Not That: 2011.”



619 North Wabash Avenue

Pizzeria Due

Chicago, IL 60611 49 East Ontario

Su Casa

Chicago, IL 60611 Click here to view more locations.

California Pizza Kitchen’s Kid’s Curly Mac & Cheese And on to my favorite comfort food—macaroni and cheese. Swallowing the 1,038 calories and 1,651 milligrams of sodium (according to Eat This Not That 2011 edition) makes me a happy girl. Luckily for the kids, they can burn it off faster.



4999 Old Orchard Center

Skokie, IL 60077

(847) 673-1144 551 Oak Brook Center

Oak Brook, IL 60523

(630) 571-7800 1515 Lake Cook Road

Northbrook, IL 60062

(847) 897-5106