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I’m tempted to write a blog about the Burger King at Kelley Square, because it is by far the ghettoest fast food joint in the city. Seriously, if you’ve never been, go inside that place. Everyone working there doesn’t wanna be there, the floor is covered in syrup, there’s never straws…it’s just fucking terrible. And fittingly someone tried killing a cop there on Monday night:

Wow, pretty fucked up. Cop sees a loudmouth doing loudmouth things and he tries to talk to him to see what’s going on. Loudmouth decides to try to run him over repeatedly. Seems like a rational thing to do. Anyway, Connor Davis is a real Worcester gem. He goes by “Con Davis” on the Facebook machine, and his social media is FANTASTIC. Let’s explore.

First of all, don’t let this face fool you:

The man has ice water running through his veins:

He’s a graduate of Burncoat High School, who apparently thought the graduation was held at Worcester Tech:

He may be a ginger, but his swag game is off the hook:

And that car he was driving – the Kia – she has a name: Fiona. And he bought her literally five days before he used her to try to run over a cop:

With this Facebook post he has officially become the first person in world history to attempt to glamorize a Kia. And what better way to break in your new Kia than trying to run over a cop in the Kelley Square Burger King parking lot!!!

He has some interesting relationship advice for any woman who might consider dating him:

It’s true. #FactsOnly

He also falls for those phony Facebook scams that we all love:

And it appears as if “ya boy” was on his way to pursuing a career at the Boynton:

I’m sure he’ll be getting that call back any day now. Gotta make that chedda dog!!!

Now, just to review, all the officer did was try to ask the kid why he was yelling at the Burger King employee. Because police are taught to deescalate situations that seem volatile, especially in the Kelley Square Burger King parking lot.

And what happened when the cop tried to deescalate? Fiona the Kia tried to assassinate him. Repeatedly. I think we can all agree that this kid deserved to get shot at right? LOL. You’re forgetting that Facebook is a magical place where nudniks of all shapes and sizes can share their hilarious views on life with the world. Like this guy William “Truthit McNeill,” who is a local “pastor” and very involved in the “community”:

Yup. The reason the cops bullets missed this kids head is because he was white. Nothing like a race baiting pastor to get a Facebook thread started off right!!

Then there was the “free my boy” crowd:

And naturally the “fuck the police” crowd showed up soon afterwards:

Yea, VERY overzealous of the officer. How dare he attempt to speak to a man who is creating a huge disturbance and yelling at the drive through speaker!! The Police really should mind their own business. That’s why they exist. To ignore volatile situations.

This “inexperienced” 19 year old driver saw a cop coming up to him, which left him with no other options but to run him over. I know that when I’ve been pulled over or spoken to by the cops, my initial reaction is “better run them over with my Kia.”

Another strong point she makes is that the cop shouldn’t have used his gun because of the “recent shootings of young men by officers.” Because it should be the policy of the police to stand in place and get run over by a Kia because Michael Brown got shot 1,500 miles from here. Perfectly logical way to look at the world.

And spot on about the analogy with the elderly though. Elderly people are always trying to run over cops in the Kelley Square Burger King parking lot. How come grandma gets a pass but not my boy Con-Con?

Yea, he was just trying to run over a cop with a Kia. Nothing dangerous about that.

Then there was this rocket scientist:

Yea, fast food employees deserve to be berated because they’re shitty human beings by nature. When someone causes a huge scene and yells at an employee for forgetting to put a pickle on his burger, this is not the same thing as a disturbance. Because fast food employees have no souls, and thus they do not deserve or need the protection of the cops. Typical overzealous policing.

Oh, why didn’t I think of that? The cop should’ve used the Matrix and jumped out of the way of the moving vehicle that was a couple feet away from him. Because there’s definitely plenty of time to do that. Then after getting out of the driver’s way he simply “apprehends him,” presumably because the driver will stop the car, get out and turn himself in. No blame can be put on the kid who tried to run over the cop though.

Yea, why is this cop trying to defend himself? He should’ve allowed the kid to get away and then proceeded to participate in a high speed chase in one of the most densely populated areas of Worcester. That sounds totally reasonable.

It’s just so funny that people like this live in Worcester and actually believe this stuff. Not their fault though. They’re obviously very dumb and easily manipulated. They’ll generally believe anything that comes after a hashtag. I blame the people who should know better and use morons like this as their food soldiers. The Joyce McNickles and Tracy Novick’s (RIP) of the world, who convince idiots like this that the police are the bad guys no matter what.

As usual Turtleboy has a brilliant idea to avoid getting shot by the police – answer their questions when they try to talk to you. I know, it’s fucking weird and it might sound strange, but just give it a shot. Because you might notice that all these assholes getting shot by the cops have one thing in common – they all resist, don’t cooperate, and try to run.

Boom. Problem solved.

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