A WOMAN who killed her husband lived in a marriage where kinky sex, multiple lovers and internet dating had replaced love and respect,a court has heard.

Defence counsel Jane Dixon SC told the Supreme Court today that Eileen Mary Creamer went along with her husband David's sexual demands because she loved him and wanted to please him.

Ms Dixon said Mr Creamer, 52, had a string of lovers and persistently tried to persuade Ms Creamer to have sex with strangers and allow him to watch.

Opening the defence case she said that contrary to the prosecution case Eileen and David Creamer did not have an open marriage.

Mr Creamer posted revealing photos of his wife on the internet in order to lure men into having sex with her.

"This was a marriage that was off the scale of normality for a middle-aged Australian couple,'' she said.

"The marriage was sick in more ways than one.''

Police found on a laptop used by the couple that Mr Creamer had sent an inquiry to a website called Club Insatiable saying he and his wife were interested in attending one of its sex parties.

Ms Dixon said according to its website Club Insatiable offered "total hardcore gangbangs ... in an open party room''.

Ms Creamer described her disgust to police at what went on in the marriage telling them "it's filthy, it's filthy''.

The couple were originally from South Africa but moved to New Zealand and Mr Creamer left his wife to live with another woman in Victoria.

But Ms Creamer followed him in an effort to save her marriage and they got together again.

Mr Creamer was open and boastful about his lovers but Ms Creamer also had a couple of boyfriends which she tried to keep secret.

Ms Dixon said her client's interview with police explained her feelings.

She told them: "I loved David from when we were at school. I just don't know why he was never happy. He was happy with me at the beginning but in the end it was all just sex. We were good together before he got on to this Internet''.

The defence counsel said that Ms Cramer also told police that despite everything she did for him "he treated me like a dog''.

"She was subjected to increasingly aberrant sexual demands and felt she could not refuse,'' Ms Dixon said.

"She had to go along with the kinkier ways of having sex. He wanted her to have sex with other men for his titillation.''

Ms Creamer, 53, of Moe, has pleaded not guilty to a charge that on February 4, 2008 she murdered David Creamer, whose body was found in the bedroom of their blood-stained unit.

The jury has heard an autopsy found the victim had been stabbed in the stomach and hit with a blunt instrument a number of times.

Ms Dixon said it was not in dispute that her client killed her husband but she said it was not because of jealousy, as suggested by the prosecution.

She said that domestic violence did not only include a woman being battered but it could also include sexual or emotional violence.

"We are not saying he (Mr Creamer) was a violent tyrant but he was driven by impulses he couldn't control,'' Ms Dixon said.

Ms Creamer told police her husband would constantly ask her "when are we getting the men over, when are we getting the men over?'' and she would get drunk to avoid having sex with men he brought to the house.

On one occasion Ms Creamer was having sex in a car with a man and after it was over her husband approached and shook hands with the man.

Prosecutor Tom Gyorffy said the duration and the extent of the assault, which left the victim's blood all over the house and a rear courtyard, showed it was a clear case of murder.

The trial before Justice Paul Coghlan is continuing.

Originally published as Kinky sex led to killing, court told