The PAPA facility is one of the best kept secret in pinball. If you haven’t gone, I implore you to go. Driving to it, you turn into an abandoned industrial park, with dilapidated buildings. The parking is on dirt and stone roads. I saw this sign hanging outside of the PAPA headquarters and thought that I must be at the back or an annex.

As I walked from my car that was parked in a big puddle far away in the depths of this complex, I thought this couldn’t be the place. How could this hold over 400 pinball machines? I stepped in and was greeted with pinball utopia.

Banks and banks of machines. This specific event, Pinburgh, is their annual Match Play Tournament. Enter for $150. Play all day Friday and get placed into a division (A, B, C, or D). Then 2 days of a match play tournament, each division crowning a winner with big cash purses. The tournament was sold out by the time I decided I was going. They had about 160 games dedicated for the tournament and about 250 that were available to play. Most of them 2 tokens, some 1. All of the usual suspects, MM, AFM, TAF, TOM, FH, STTNG, NGG, CC, and pretty much every new stern you could think of. Where to start?!?!

With over 250 games to choose from, I of course was drawn to the most esoteric game I could find. That led me to Asteroid Annie and the Aliens, a extra-terrestrial poker themed pinball machine. This game has beautiful and vibrant artwork. 10 drop targets and 4 rollovers as you try to make different poker hands. The game play is solid, the drop target banks are well situated. Only 211 units produced. Decent game. GRADE: B-

I went to look for my friends and I stumbled Johnny Mnemonic, a game that has been on my wishlist to play since I got into the hobby. I’ve heard mixed things about this game (2 of my friends couldn’t get rid of the JMs fast enough), and I passed on one at a good price 6 months ago. I was going to San Francisco the next day and the guy wanted me to come see it, pay for it, but pick it up when I got back a week later. Something about how he had to move a bunch of stuff in his basement. I said if I come to look at it and pay for it, I’m leaving with it. Needless to say I didn’t get it and after I played this at Pinburgh, I’m kicking myself.

I have no problem with the theme and actually kind of like the movie. Keanu Reeves acts like a robot all the time, so I’m buying it. How can you go wrong with Reeves, Ice-T, Henry Rollins, Udo Kier, and Dolph Lundgren? What a cast. The game play is super fast and smooth and the machine has a great layout. When you hit those ramps consistently you can rack up big points. The big feature on the machine is the magnetic glove/hand where when you lock balls you use the hand to place them in a nine numbered matrix, each providing a different reward. I could take it or leave it and it actually slows down the pace of the game. The wizard mode which I did not get to (Power Down) sounds incredible. It is a 4-ball multiball in which you make shots and extend the length of the mode, but as time runs out the machine powers down section by section. Like The Shadow, people shy away from this due to its theme (If this was The Matrix it would be $3K-$4K easy), but that just means more bang for your buck. Call me impressed. GRADE: A-

Right next to Johnny Mnemonic was another pinball machine I couldn’t wait to play. The hype surrounding Cactus Canyon is palpable. Maybe it’s the $11,000+ price tag. Granted there were only 903 units produced, but is it worth that much money?

Williams was tightening the belt on the pinball division which resulted in the dissolution of the design team before the game was actually completed. Bionic Bart appears on the rule card, but not in the game. There’s no match animations. There’s a jackpot light in front of the Bart Brother that isn’t a jackpot. There is a P-Roc board you can now put in your machine, “Cactus Canyon Continued” that adds a lot to the overall gameplay. A “drunk multiball” a “move your train” mode and much more. I did not have a chance to play this updated version.

I’ve never spent over $1800 for a machine so it’s hard for me to objectively review machines with such high price tags. That being said, this is my shot at objectivity.

Cactus Canyon has a great layout and plays very smooth. There’s a train that moves along the playfield (Stern ripped this off for Big Buck Hunter). A very cool quickdraw feature where a random target pops up on the playfield and you have to knock it down. I like the idea of a western themed pinball, but I don’t like how cartoonish it is. The audio is a bit annoying. The two plastic guns are unnecessary and obscure the playfield. During my second game I was one shot away from the wizard mode, so I felt the game was a bit easy and I don’t know how much staying power it would have.

I would love to play the game with the Cactus Canyon Continued software.

Cactus Canyon is a fun game, but not anywhere near its lofty price tag. I’d rather have a Johnny Mnemonic. GRADE: B

Amazingly, the next game I played after Cactus Canyon just randomly happened to be another Western themed pinball machine (What are the odds?), Sharpshooter by Game Plan. I actually have a mint backglass for this machine in my garage (contact me if you are looking for one). It was given to me by a good guy in New York after traded pinball machines. Nothing like a macho hombre sharpshooter that wears glasses. I’m sure the girls would be throwing themselves at this guy. Maybe to do their taxes. This was my first game by Game Plan, and they were most known for the cocktail table pins. This game has a unique layout with no right outlane or slingshot. Instead it features two lower right pop bumpers. Has a big bank of drop targets and spelling S-H-A-R-P-S-H-O-O-T-E-R isn’t easy. Has really great sound for a game made in 1979 including the hiss of a snake, a howl of a wolf and I especially like the galloping horse sound when you hit the spinner. Decent game. GRADE: B-

Lectronamo is the first Stern with electronic sound and must have been designed by someone dosing on acid. I researched what a Lectronamo might be and I’ve got nothing. So I will define it as a half-female half-unicorn with Ronald McDonald features and pronounced nipples. And the backglass is the best thing about the machine. The playfield is open and really bland. Playfield artwork just as uninteresting as the game. Hit the right bank of targets to advance the bonus, shoot the left kick-out hole to collect, hit the left bank for extra balls and specials. Wasn’t feeling this one at all. Too Rudementary for my tastes. GRADE: D+

One of my favorite arcade games growing up was Spy Hunter, a fantastic driving game where you get to spray oil slicks and fire weapons at the bad guys, all while driving. I couldn’t wait to check out the Spy Hunter pinball machine hoping this machine could some how capture the feel of the beloved arcade classic. The playfield design is awkward at best. It features a mini upper playfield and a mini bagatelle in the upper left of the playfield (which I like), but then the lower playfield has two huge outlanes on the left side and a pop bumper that aids in the draining. The flippers are off centered to the right. It is an off-putting design and has the feel of an old EM. The artwork is decent and this game uses a “Cheap Squeak” sound board that plays the “Peter Gunn” theme song, which is cool, but it doesn’t sound nearly as rich as its arcade cousin. All in all, the layout detracts more than it adds, and there isn’t much else going on. GRADE: C-

Getaway is a great looking game from Allied Leisure. The artwork is sparse, but very well done. Great ’20s gangster theme. The game features a “machine gun spinner” that when hit, the lights in the backglass fire and a machine gun sound is heard. Very cool. It also has on the upper right side of the playfield an area with a variety of flags which reward you different things via rollovers. Oddly place third flipper that sends the ball into the pop bumpers. Match feature “Line Em Up” is on the backglass and its unique. Instead of matching numbers, you hope the top light lines up with the bottom light on the backglass. Good stuff here. GRADE: B

Shaq Attaq is another pin that was high on my want-to-play list, mainly because everyone told me how awful the machine was. I thought it can’t be that bad, it’s got a basketball theme which I think really works for a pinball machine. Who doesn’t like shooting the hoop on NBA Fastbreak? And this basket moves! It was a confusing pinball experience. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do. The annoying announcer kept telling me to “Shoot the spinner!” There’s an upper and lower playfield and when you make or miss the basket, the ball goes into the upper playfield where you can hit the kickout hole and knock down targets. This playfield is cluttered and awkward. The art package is terrible, Shaq looks more like Fat Albert and they couldn’t get the NBA license so he’s on team Shaq. And to spell attack “attaq” puts another nail in the coffin. Could be the worst DMD pinball out there. GRADE: D-

Title Fight is another one of Gottlieb’s Street Level games where there aren’t ramps and it was made at a relatively low cost. It might be the best of the Street Level games. I like the boxing theme and I think it works well for a pinball machine. The backglass is animated as the fighters punch each other in the face which is a nice touch. The playfield is basically broken down into 3 areas, the mini-playfield in the upper left where you battle fighter by knocking down drop targets, the roundhouse loop in the upper right of the playfield where you can rack up punches, and then the lower playfield where there’s an oddly place pop bumper and a few targets to hit. Beat the different fighters, go for the jackpot. Both the mini-playfield and roundhouse loop are fun to shoot. The audio and artwork are average. A decent effort. GRADE: B-

Farfalla is the first pinball machine by Zaccaria that I had the pleasure of playing. Zaccaria was an Italian based pinball company that manufactured pins from 1974 to 1987. Zaccaria machines have a really interesting feature which allows you to play a 4th and sometimes even a 5th or 6th ball. Depending on the length of your last ball, there is a clock that counts up to 99. Once you drain your last ball, you will receive another ball and you could potentially have up to an additional 99 seconds of pinball action. When the timer hits 0, the flippers go dead and the game is over. A very cool feature. Another feature Zaccaria machines have outlane save flippers. If the ball is rolling down the outlane, you can save it with a flipper that acts as part of the outlane. It’s very hard to do, but when it works, it’s pretty exciting. Farfalla is Italian for butterfly. The game features and psychedelic playfield with flowers, rainbows and hippes. The audio sounds like it should be for a Science Fiction film. Try to knock down 17 the drop targets, advance the multiplier, get the big bonus. Getting to the upper playfield is not easy. The Italian version backglass which I played is nipplelicious. The American version is much more obscured. Simple, yet fun. GRADE: B

Gladiators is a Gottlieb System 3, in the same vein as Wipe Out! I’m partial to Wipe Out!, but Gladiators has a decent layout, modes and a shaker motor. The artwork and audio is lacking. Good/bad thing about the audio is it tells you where to shoot. Great for beginners, but it becomes a bit tedious. There’s a “catapult” which is a metal wire form that pivots so you can drop the ball in different places and if you hit the “T” ramp the ball comes rocketing back to the flippers from another elevated wireform. Rules not that deep. Would be okay in a bigger collection. GRADE: C+

Mario Andretti is another Gottlieb System 3 game and it’s a bit of a sleeper. I think the car racing theme works for a pinball machine The backglass depiction of Mario Andretti is wretched. His face looks like he just smelled 1,000 farts. Such a pained expression. It has two spinning cars that have posts that rotate, by far the biggest spinner on any game. Hitting the cars helps you advance your position in the race. You try to win races by hitting yellow Mario targets and completing laps. Once you win the race, can choose your “Checkered Flag Award” which might be a multiball or jackpot. Also, you need to watch your fuel and you can fill up by hitting the “pit in” hole on the right of the playfield. If you win 3 races there is a World Championship wizard mode. Mario Andretti also has a up-post between the flippers which is engaged for a pretty lengthy time at the beginning of each ball. Audio is a bit annoying, but solid pinball overall. GRADE: B

As if the Mario Andretti artwork was bad enough, the last game I played on Friday night was Stern Dracula which features a Dracula that looked like it was drawn by Far Side cartoonist Gary Larson. Stunningly bad. Cabinet art, equally as bad. Very cool pop bumper caps though and I like the coffin spinner. The game play is decent as you try to build the bonus via the drop targets and rollovers and hit the left kick out hole to collect. The artwork really crushes a decent game. This Dracula is so stereotypically Jewish, FYI the Hebrew translation of Dracula is דרקולה

GRADE: C-

I decided to break down my Pinburgh escapades into the 3 days I was there so stay tuned for Day 2.