Remember those popular lesbian pulp fiction books with the sexy cover illustrations? Me neither. It was before my time too. But we’ve all seen and yes, enjoyed (and even snorted at) those tawdry covers. Admit it ladies! It’s a guilty pleasure. Monica Nolan’s Lois Lenz, Lesbian Secretary is unabashed, campy parody. It completely spoofs the lesbian pulp fiction of the 1950’s and 1960’s as well as the beliefs and mores of the time.

After her guidance counselor suggests that she work during the summer in Bay City’s top ad agency, popular high school cheerleader Lois Lenz decides to put on hold her plans to attend junior college with BFF and equally popular cheerleader Faye Collins. Not as easy as it may seem since the lovely, blonde, spoiled Faye has a magnetic hold on Lois; she’s her kissing practice partner. You read correctly. The girls have been kissing for almost a year as “practice” for kissing boys. Uh huh. Sure. Nevermind they each have popular boyfriends of which neither girl seems terribly interested. Adding to her obstacles in working in Bay City during the summer is Lois’ mom who fears her daughter may fall into the nefarious clutches of white slavers, commies and reefer smoking beatniks amongst other dangers lurking in the Big City. The story takes place in 1957.

But once Lois’ mind is made up she leaves behind suburbia and heads for Bay City where she rents a room on the fifth floor of the Magdalena Arms, a once reputable boarding house for career girls. All the women on the fifth floor are friendly and “gay” but there is something “queer” going on. I’ll say! The whole book engages in double entendres and plays with words that often had different connotations in 1950’s America. The motley fifth floor gang includes such disparate characters as a fashionable debutante, a mysterious actress, a smart and serious bookworm who’s hiding something ….they all are! But even when they make it more than obvious that they’re all lesbians even inviting her to the local dyke bar, goody two-shoes Lois remains CLUELESS! This actually adds to the novel’s humor because while forehead slappingly naïve, Lois is not the judgmental type so it makes it a bit difficult to dislike her. Yes, I know it sounds unbelievable but it’s fiction and it’s camp!

As if the goings-on at the Magdalena Arms weren’t “queer” enough, there’s also Lois’ boss at the ad agency, the cutthroat executive and predatory dyke Mrs. Pierson AKA the Hyena. What happened to the previous tenant in Lois’ room? Why did she mysteriously disappear and to where? Who is blackmailing Mrs. Pierson? And why is it that none of the girls on the fifth floor boarding house are ever seen with a man or even mention the opposite sex? Lois resolves to get to the bottom of this.

Lois Lenz, Lesbian Secretary is pure camp. A fun, light-hearted satire. Perhaps not for all tastes but if you enjoy parody and accompanied by plenty of sapphic characters then I definitely recommend this one.

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