Anonymous: Hi! I’m glad I found your blog, it seems the perfect place to ask this question I’ve been asking myself for quite a while.

I’m 24 and I first had sex when I was 17, but we only did anal and oral. I didn’t have access to birth control and didn’t want to get pregnant, and my parents were religious so they always pushed not losing my virginity until I got married. I know having anal sex doesn’t make me a virgin anymore, but I was young and horny and it seemed like a good compromise at the time. I loved it, it felt amazing and I quickly learned to orgasm from anal, so there was no urgent reason to start doing vaginal sex.

I got older and had more boyfriends and since I enjoyed anal so much and still felt my parents saying I needed to keep my pussy virgin until I got married, so I always told them I was saving myself for marriage but we could do anal, and they were almost always totally okay with that, so it was easy to just stay anal only, even though I wasn’t in that mindset and really wanted to do vaginal too someday. I had never considered the idea of only doing anal forever, it was just for practical reasons at first and then because I liked it so much and it was so easy to just stay that way and not challenge myself.

Now, I’m not at all religious and no longer have any religious motivation to stay a vaginal virgin, but I’m in a relationship now with a man who I love very much who has told me how much he loves that I have always only had anal sex and that he would like me to stay a vaginal virgin, not to stay “pure” but because he is only interested in having anal sex and he thinks it’s sexy that I’m not only anal only but that I’ve never even done vaginal and that my vagina is virgin.

I had a hard time with this idea, because as I said I always wanted to lose my vaginal virginity eventually even if I have only done anal for seven years now and really do love it, but I can see his side as well. Even I can see why it’s an appealing idea, there’s something special and sexy about being different from all the other girls and never using my pussy, only my ass, but I still wonder and haven’t decided for sure yet.

For anyone who thinks he’s being unfair or selfish, he isn’t, we’re equal partners in our relationship, we love and respect each other very much, and we talk about each other’s wants and needs. He will respect whatever I do, but he will also share his opinion and desires, and I respect that too.

Do you have any advice you can offer? Should I try to have vaginal sex at least once to see what it’s like? Or should I do what he suggests and just move on from the idea of it entirely? We probably won’t have children, or if we did, we’d adopt, so that isn’t a factor. Thank you!