Dear Captain,

My girlfriend and I are getting a dog (jeey!). We are both women and some people have commented this is like getting a baby for us. It hurts to think about us not being able to reproduce “just like” a man and woman would be. Do you have any tips about reacting to these statements?

With love,

Jeey we are getting a dog

Dear Yay for Dogs!

If you and your girlfriend decide to have kids someday, there are many routes you could try, and these people are neither the boss of you nor (clearly!) authorities on the subject.

Depending on the audience and your sense of humor, what if you replied with one of these?

“What a very strange thing to say.”

“Weird, why would you say that?”

“How is it the same?”…”But it’s a dog, not a baby!” (Be super sincere, ask them to explain until they get embarrassed and stop.)

“Your understanding of human reproduction is missing a few pieces, I think.”

“I do not think that means what you think it means.”

“It is…not the same at all.”

“Nope, but it’s exactly like when straight people get a dog!”

Congratulations on the dog, sympathies on the people who are using it as an opportunity to be homophobic and weird.

P.S. Please feel free to send cute dog photos ❤

Update (3/14): Idk what’s going on, but the overall vibe of comments is very contentious this week. Let’s take a break from discussions, eat some pie for Pi Day, and try again soon. Jeeeeeeeyyyyy on the new dog, Letter Writer!