FORT WORTH, TX—Explaining that only a small percentage of passengers ever hit it off to the point that they carry on a conversation for the duration of their flight, American Airlines announced Monday it will no longer attempt to match seatmates by their personal interests. “For years, American Airlines has committed itself to pairing up travelers with similar backgrounds, careers, and hobbies in the hopes they would take pleasure in each other’s company while en route to their destination, but the time has come to phase out this service,” said CEO Doug Parker, noting that the company could no longer justify the long hours that thousands of employees were dedicating day after day to making sure every customer was seated next to someone with whom they would enjoy a friendly exchange. “We initially expected lively conversation and laughter to fill our cabins, with an occasional passenger or two perhaps even striking up a friendship that would endure long after the plane had landed. With few exceptions, however, we’ve found that the vast majority of people just want to put on their headphones or take a nap.” Parker went on to stress that American Airlines would never suspend its extremely successful program of making the suitcases of romantically compatible passengers roll out next to each other on baggage carousels.

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