Single dads have shared their heartbreaking experiences of spending Christmas away from their children due to custody agreements.

Father-of-one *Mark told Independent.ie that he has spent previous Christmases “crying into pictures” of his three-year-old son as he spends the holidays without him.

“Words can’t describe how lonely it is to not be with him on Christmas. Even the build up to Christmas is hard watching parents shopping with their kids and joining in on the festivities. It can be a very lonely time for single fathers,” Mark told Independent.ie.

For the first time Mark will get to spend Christmas with his young son due to a new custody agreement.

“I’ve had an access agreement put in place this year because it was too flexible before. My son’s mother could decide when I could have my son and when I couldn’t. It was horrendous so I wanted an agreement set in stone.

“This Christmas I have my son because I have him on Sundays and Christmas falls on Sunday this year. I’ll have him from 9-6 and then he will be with his mother for the rest of the day.”

Mark said that separations are very hard when a child is involved.

“It’s hard when a couple separate but it’s even worse when there’s a kid involved. The law in Ireland is definitely on the side of the mother and there’s nothing we can do about it.

“When relationships break down some mothers think that they are in charge and they get to decide the fate of the child.”

Before going to court, Mark said he was only allowed to see his son for a couple of hours at the weekend.

“I was refused to have my son for a couple of days over the summer and then I found out his mum had gone away to Egypt on holidays and had left our son with friends."

Mark recalled previous years where he’d cry into pictures of his son at Christmas.

“I’d cry looking at pictures of him on Christmas and wish he was with me.”

Mark said it’s important to spend as much time as he can with his only son as “they grow up in a blink of an eye”.

“Kids grow up fast. Time doesn’t wait for anyone. They are precious years and missing holidays like Christmas is horrendous.”

He said men often suffer in silence as there’s an attitude of ‘man-up’ or ‘take it on the chin’.

He praised the charity Amen for their help saying “they’re always there”.

“Amen helps all men in an invaluable way. There’s so many men out there who don’t talk or ask for help but Amen is there to help.”

Mark now said he “can’t wait” to spend Christmas this year with his son.

“He’s going to be surrounded by my family who idolise him. My family suffer too when they can’t see him. His grandparents want to see their grandchild so it has a snowball effect.”

Another single dad called *Shaun told Independent.ie that his ex-wife won’t let him spend any Christmases with his 14-year-old son.

“I’m going to spend my Christmas alone again because my son will be with my ex-wife.

“Even when I have a court-order to see my son on Christmas, my ex-wife doesn’t let me see him. I called the gardai last Christmas but there was little they could do to help.”

Shaun explained that he and his ex-wife broke up 11 years ago and his access to his son has been restricted ever since.

“She won’t let me see him but he loves football and so I go to all his games. He doesn’t speak to me at them and walks past me like I’m a stranger.”

Shaun said he will spend his Christmas with his family and friends but it’s “devastating” he won’t be able to see his son.

“I have tried through the courts and through mediation to get to see my son but she won’t allow me to. She won’t let my son see me.

“I will spend my Christmas as usual with tears in my eyes with just the memories of us all together at Christmas.”

Shaun said that, if wasn’t for the services of Amen, he would have “gone crazy”.

“The first time I went there I couldn’t believe that a bunch of women could understand me so well. I was absolutely surprised that they believed me and my story. The courts always believe the woman in tears.”

He said Amen is always there to talk and offer support.

“They listen, they care and they know how to solve my problems.”

Shaun said he worries for the future of his son and the future relationships he will have.

“I can survive, I’m an adult but I worry about our son. How will he deal with his wife or kids when he’s older? He has no other example that what he’s been shown.”

Anyone who has been affected by these issues can contact Amen on 0469023718 or visit www.amen.ie

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

Online Editors