DULUTH, MN—In a shocking display of utter spinelessness, 33-year-old coward Benjamin Dyer gave in and changed his opinion just like that Monday after learning he was wrong. “You know, I think I’ve come around to your way of seeing things,” the weakling said, reportedly reassessing his viewpoint to accommodate new information like an unbelievable pussy instead of doubling down on his previously held belief like a real man. “No one likes to be corrected, but you really set me straight on a lot of stuff. Thank you.” At press time, the whimpering little puppy said he’d welcome the opportunity to continue the conversation further since he’d benefited so much the first time.

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