Mis-selling of Brexit Party parliamentary candidacies the new PPI, insist cold-calling firms

Managers of unethical call centres and no-win-no-fee lawyers are jockeying for position and buying up data sets of Brexit Party candidates in the hope they can leech off their compensation claims when the penny finally drops.

Simon Williams, a personal injury lawyer who charges rent to his teenage children, explained that people in his line of work were all trying to get their hands on the Brexit Party’s ‘sucker list’.

He told us, “It’s going to be the next big thing. The candidates were obviously ripped off but I reckon the rank and file are also getting sweet-talked out of their pension money in some way.

“If you think about it, the Brexit Party has all the hallmarks of a scamming outfit. It targets the elderly and the uneducated. It gets them used to irregularities like not being a member but a ‘supporter’. It makes the victim feel special and part of a group.

“They also tested the waters by asking idiots to pay fifty quid for the privilege of walking along public footpaths and occasionally catching a glimpse of Nigel at a country pub. I’m willing to bet that the candidates were encouraged to fork out big money for ‘campaigning’ packs.”

Asked how becoming the targets of a predatory industry would help people in the Brexit Party, Mr Williams admitted he had little personal sympathy for them.

“Let’s face it, we all know many of the Brexit Party supporters think a better Britain is a white Britain. I know they come across as a bit dense, but still, how do you believe the electoral projections of someone who has failed seven times to be an MP?”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the T-shirt here!