REGULAR cannabis smoking boosts the part of the brain that invents excuses.

The Institute for Studies found that people who smoke skunk daily are 84 per cent more effective at explaining why they had failed to do things.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Stoners’ brains evolve this amazing capacity to make up bullshit excuses which, although unconvincing, are at least creative.

“Long-term cannabis users show extensive growth in the ninth ventricle, the region of the brain that deals with responsibility avoidance.”

Inveterate pothead Roy Hobbs said: “I was supposed to pay the council tax but somehow a wild boar got in the garden and I had to chase it out which took all day. It was all snorting, with tusks and shit.

“Luckily I am ok now and able to sit here watching TV, but I was unable to do any administrative tasks or house cleaning.”

Stoner Mary Fisher was supposed to take her boyfriend’s car to the garage: “I was getting some milk out and the fridge fell over, trapping me under it.

“Firemen came to get me out, they broke down the door and then afterwards replaced it with an identical-looking door.

“I’ll definitely be way more on the case tomorrow.”