

Are you ready, class? Let us count the errors:

(h/t Ministry of Truth at DKos)

::head desk:: What the hell is that? Teh stoopid, it hurts. How does this woman find her way out the front door every morning?

At risk of being pedantic, let's break this down, shall we?

We're gonna continue the chain of freedom that was purchased for us at a very heavy price

As the DKos diarist mentions, it might not be the best choice to use the phrase "chains of freedom" when referring to the Founding Fathers. Because we all know who were actually shackled at the end of those chains:

That "chain of freedom" that was "purchased" had a slave on the end of it. Just saying.

*cringe* But then again, Bachmann's revisionist understanding of the horrors of slavery is legendary.

It was a heavy price that was paid at Lexington and Concord with that shot that was heard fired around the world.

I guess we should be thankful that she didn't place Lexington and Concord in New Hampshire again. But for cryin' out loud, how hard is it to retain the phrase correctly? "The Shot Heard Round The World" A shot fired around the world sounds overly hostile and not much reason to celebrate.

There was a heavy prices that for five Aprils of war to secure our freedom.

This one stuck me for a second. The phrase sounded familiar if overly poetic, but I also knew that the Revolutionary War lasted eight years. A little Google-fu identified it as the title of a Civil War historical novel, Across Five Aprils, frequently used as a reference in elementary schools. It's also the name of a hardcore band, but I'm gonna assume they're not on Bachmann's iPod. So apparently she jumped wars for a moment, because then she's back in Revolutionary War mode and then jumped again:

There was a heavy price that was paid in the lead up to our country establishing itself, but the British came and attacked us again in the war of 1812.

Wait, what? I'm sure that there were instances of British attacks in the war of 1812, but actually, it was the U.S. that declared war on Britain...mainly over our desire for expansion into the Northwest Territory.

There was a heavy price that was paid to hold this country together in the Civil War...

Oh we jumped in time again...

..., when Abraham Lincoln just about lost his life just trying and help, trying to hold this country together and we were pulled apart at the seams.

Hold on. Just about lost his life? Was he just sort of assassinated? Did he only kinda die?

But we remain one nation under God, and the last act of President Abraham Lincoln when he was in office was to secure our national motto "In God We Trust" on a coin, his last act in Congress

Oh god, this one gives me a headache. The first time the phrase "In God We Trust" appeared on an American coin did indeed occur during Lincoln's term as President. However, it had been called for by citizens for years and the actual submission of designs was initiated and overseen by Secretary of the Treasury Salmon P Chase and Director of the Philadelphia Mint James Pollock. Congress (a completely different branch of the government from the Office of the Presidency, which you'd think a Congressperson running for President would understand) passed the Act calling for the approved design in 1864 on the two cent coin. The motto appeared on and off various coins until 1957, where it was established on paper dollars as well. (source: U.S. Treasury). Abraham Lincoln had little to nothing to do with it. In fact, there is some question that Abraham Lincoln would spearhead such a thing, as he was frequently derided as an infidel or atheist by contemporaries. I suspect it would horrify Prof. Bachmann to learn that Lincoln never became member of any specific church although there was a lot of posthumous attempts to whitewash his rejection of the strict Baptist teachings of his parents.

We could go on and ask Bachmann which of our freedoms exactly our military was fighting for in Vietnam and both Gulf Wars, but frankly, I'm a little afraid of what the answer would be.

There will be a quiz on this material later.