Andy Marlette

News Journal Cartoonist

As officially reported by the stud who Troy Moon refers to as “sexy news reporter” Carlos Gieseken, Quint Studer has announced he is leaving the Studer Group in order to give his full attention to his many Pensacola projects.

In other words, Studer is retiring from health care and taking on the challenge of mental health care. Cuz we be crazy ‘round here, y’all!

For the homegrown health care consulting company forged in Studer’s name that reportedly earned $90 million last year, it’s a moment not unsimilar to Jordan’s retirement from the ‘98 Chicago Bulls.

And for our city that’s so often buckled into a clown car full of governmental chuckleheads on the road-trip toward economic progress, maybe Studer’s increased civic involvement means that a grownup will finally take the wheel — as if the Studers haven’t been trying to steer it in the right direction for years.

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Friday morning on NewsRadio 1620, Studer even told Andrew McKay that he wouldn’t rule out running for office. Talk about an outsider shaking up the political establishment. Imagine a Studer run for mayor, sheriff or superintendent. It’d have all the energy of the Trump campaign minus the weirdo nationalism, xenophobia and orange hair.

Or what about Studer for governor? Hey, Rick Scott made his millions in health care, too. And Studer’s campaign bio wouldn’t include “largest Medicare fraud in history,” unlike our current governor’s resume. Not to mention that Studer has the skill set to actually communicate with an audience without the habit of going blank-eyed and tuning into the mothership just to avoid answering yes-or-no questions.

Most folks would probably agree that the guy would have to be crazy to get into the cuckoo’s nest of politics at any level. But bet on this — the very notion of a Studer campaign for public office is a nightmarish thought to the few scattered and secretive Studer-haters out there. Watching those invertebrates squirm throughout the lens of a public campaign would be an entertaining, even if fruitless show.

But the only reason these political hypotheticals are even worth talking about is that folks just plain like the guy.

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It’s interesting that the fame and renown that Studer earned through his career and the company he is retiring from exist almost entirely apart from his fame locally. Whatever rock-star status he carries within the halls of the health care industry is an unknown quantity to most of us in town who don’t work in health care.

What is widely known, felt and understood however, are the Studers’ many projects and ideas, the quality of them and the way they’ve helped transform this town in a relatively short amount of time. People look around and like what they see. They walk down the street and like how it feels. Most folks are simply fans of the Studer brand.

Which is why some residents reportedly freaked out for a second when they thought Studer’s retirement meant he was quitting on Pensacola — and specifically, the game-changing $65 million apartments and office building on the former PNJ property.

Apparently, upon Studer’s retirement announcement some sort of local fake news website started spreading that falsehood online. Crazy, huh? Who knows how these things happen? That’s the magic of the internet — it’s the one place in the world where Donald Trump can become a viable presidential candidate and lonely, unkempt, Cheeto-clutching nerds can stare into the eyes (and other body parts) of beautiful women. It’s the place where every little weirdo’s fantasy can be written to seem true, and apparently, myths about Studer’s development plans are all it takes to create some weirdos’ fantasies. Gross.

For the record, Studer said Friday that any notion about leaving Pensacola and abandoning the apartment project is totally false — and just ridiculous. The project is too important. Studer says they’re committed to that project just like all their others in town. He says there are a few challenges that will require government to step up and find solutions. But that’s only because the government caused problems and uncertainties in the first place.

So don’t worry. Pensacola’s resident mental health care consultant isn’t going anywhere — and it’s a good dadgum thing. The way this town works, you never know what’s going to leak out of the looney bin next.