Sure, I use Facebook for networking and to keep in touch with friends. But sometimes the website gets so annoying that I just want to beat my head against a wall. Here’s why.

10. Applications

I have apps like everyone else, and some are fun. But some apps need to be destroyed forever.

How many times can a zombie bite me? How often will Pokey Puppy throw a bone at me? Will my friend hate me if I ignore her “best friends forever” request?

And by the way, would you really trust the Zombies app? “Brains… brains… …. BRAINS! Brains…” Yes, they’re eating my brain. Every time I get a zombie request, a neuron in my brain dies.

9. Gossip Girl

A girl’s status recently read: “Jane Doe is wondering why some of her women friends over 32 are not mature?!?!” Since she only had one woman friend over 32, it was easy to figure out who she was talking about. But this begs the question – if she had a problem with her friend, why didn’t she just tell her? Why whine about it in her status? With friends like that…

8. Piggy-Back Apps

One day, someone sent me a rum & coke on Facebook. Deciding this app would pass the “Dube Test,” I accepted it, only to find Rate My Friends loading on my Facebook! WHAT? I hate Rate My Friends! Sure enough, the rum & coke was a smokescreen to trick me into loading an app I hate. Sadly, there was no rum & coke for me that day. 😦

7. “Look at Me!” Syndrome

Unfortunately, when many adults sign into Facebook, they are bitten by the “junior high bug” and start acting like prepubescent teens.

There are plenty of examples… Take the grown man who included a “PayPal Donation” on his page. I don’t think he looked at the demographics of Facebook users first. Most of us aren’t wandering around with tons of extra cash just begging to be thrown wildly into cyberspace at individual people. And if we did have that kind of money, we’d be wasting it on these:

Girls, take note. If your boyfriend doesn’t give you a birthday gift, but he’s sending hundreds of these out to other girls, you might have a problem.

6. Stalkers

(Note: Picture from www.markmoore.terapad.com)

Unless your Facebook is set to be viewable by only your friends, someone is spying on you. Guaranteed. These pages are magnets for creeps who would rather watch you through the Internet than actually talk to you in person.

5. Relationship Hell

Whatever you do, never advertise your relationship on Facebook.

Adding “in a relationship with” is like putting up a billboard that reads, “Please! Hit on my boyfriend!” or “Hey guys! Stalk my girlfriend!” I’m not kidding. For some reason, twisted people see the “relationship status” as an invitation to break it as quickly as possible. Women and men alike flock to the “no longer available” with e-mails and wall posts (usually accompanied by photos that really belong in the back corner of a video store). Which brings me to…

4. Slutty Profile Pics

I’m sorry, but I really don’t want to see your naked picture on Facebook, even if you do think you’re God’s gift to men or heaven’s present to women. What’s even worse is when you go to the person’s profile page and it’s covered with Bible verses and quotes about how conservative they are. Sorry, but you’re not fooling anyone.

3. Are You Interested?!

Apps like these are out to make Facebook the single most annoying website in the history of the Internet. First of all, why on earth would anyone add that information on an Internet application? “We will keep track of who is crushing on you so you don’t have to!” Internet becomes Big Brother anyone?

But most importantly – isn’t this what we did in elementary school? I prefer men now, not boys who hide behind Facebook applications.

2. Unwanted Friends

Sure, I could make my page on Facebook unsearchable. But that kind of negates the point, doesn’t it? I like friends from elementary school or former work colleagues to be able to find me. But the cost of this is great. Every now and then, I receive a friend request from someone I really can’t stand.

Sometimes it’s a person I deleted before. Sometimes it’s a person who deleted me and now wants to be my friend again. Umm, you got rid of me. Why would I take you back? Worst of all are the times it’s a “friend” who just wants to spy on me for someone I deleted. I only have this to say to them:

1. Weapons of Mass Destruction

Far too many times, I’ve seen Facebook used by a disgruntled person as a weapon of mass destruction. Just check out the sad story about Megan Meier for a worst case scenario involving Facebook’s sibling, MySpace. A good friend of mine experienced this once too. After her “nice guy” dumped her, he took time to make fun of her “broken heart” online with his sleazy buddies. Oh, but wait! His profile still talked about what a lovely Christian man he was (rolling my eyes).

People: Facebook was not created to be your personal weapon of mass destruction. For another example, check out this lovely find:

This girl broke up with her boyfriend on Facebook. How mature. Now look at how nicely Facebook capitalized on it:

Oh-so-classy is the “broken heart” ad for a Facebook app on the left. Nice move, Facebook. Real nice.

******

Note as of 10/15/2013: Please check out www.WiredForPR.com/blog/ – It’s my new blog (although I’ll still update this one from time to time).