* I see beauty on the inside, so I really don’t mind you’re ugly.

* You remind me of my mom and my dad. And the dead body in my trunk.

* Wanna get back at your parents for giving you that face?

* My wife’s having induced labor tomorrow night; so, are you free for dinner?

* Ever had sex with the clinically insane?

* Are you a stroke victim, or, are you just happy to see me?

* Aren’t you the woman I followed home last night?

* You ever seen a hermaphrodite do it to itself?

* Are you a woman who regularly enjoys disappointment?

* You are the kind of girl I’d fantasize about while getting raped in prison.

* When I prayed to Satan to give me the hottest girl in the world, I’m so happy it’s you.

* Aren’t you the woman suing me for trying to lawnmower her cat?

* Nice dress, it really hides the fat.

* I could smell you from across the room.

* If you were pretty, I couldn’t talk to you. I can never talk to pretty girls.

* They’d throw me back in prison if they saw me talking to you. I’m not supposed to come within 100 meters of a playground.

* I think safe sex is for chickens.

* I think chickens are for safe sex. I don’t want to catch bird flu.