J.K. Simmons lit up Oscars with simple message

Julie Hinds | Detroit Free Press

Show Caption Hide Caption J.K. Simmons reveals his secret to a happy career J.K. Simmons speaks after winning his first ever Oscar. He received Best Supporting Actor for the movie 'Whiplash.'

"Call your mom. Call your dad."

That simple call to action from J.K. Simmons went viral during Sunday's Oscar telecast.

The best supporting actor winner, who played a verbally sadistic, physically abusive jazz band instructor in Whiplash, revealed his real self when he lovingly thanked his wife and children during his acceptance speech.

Then he gave the advice that captivated the Twitterverse and activated cellphones everywhere.

"Call your mom, everybody," said Simmons on the air. "I'm told there's like a billion people or so (watching). Call your mom. Call your dad, if you are lucky enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet. Don't text. Don't e-mail. Call 'em on the phone. Tell them you love them, and thank them, and listen to them for as long as they want to talk to you."

Tapping his hand over his heart, he concluded, "Thank you, Mom and Dad."

The tweets evoked were sentimental and sarcastic. "Ugh, thanks a lot, J.K. Simmons," posted HBO Girls star Lena Dunham, linking to message from her mom asking for a call. Others took his advice to heart: "Really did love the message from #JKSimmons — call your parents. Love them while they're here," said a tweet from a public-speaking coach from Montreal.

Detroit has a strong link to the inspiration for those remarks. Simmons' parents, Donald and Patricia, were originally from Illinois, but they called Detroit suburb Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich., home during the Eisenhower and Kennedy eras.

Simmons said Monday that his Oscar comments were spontaneous and reflect what he's learned since losing his father, who died in 2012, and his mother, who passed away in 2014.

"That sort of just fell out of my mouth, and it's because I am a parent, because I loved my parents deeply and they were such wonderful parents and role models and we lost both of them in the last couple of years," he said by phone. "I think it's one of those things you can't know until you know, like having a baby.

"You can't know what it's like until it happens. I had a wonderful relationship with my parents, but you can't know what it feels like to be an orphan," Simmons said. "Even if you're an orphan when you're 59 years old, you're still an orphan. And it's hard, so I want people to appreciate what they have."

Sharing music

One of three kids, Simmons in Grosse Pointe and grew up in Grosse Pointe Woods in a house filled with music.

"I remember all of our early childhood, during all those years, (our parents) often had gatherings at the house of people sitting around the piano and sharing music and community," Simmons said.

His father taught at Parcells Middle School (then referred to as Parcells Junior High) in Grosse Pointe Woods, where he was director of vocal music. Simmons vividly remembers piling into the station wagon with his mom, sister and brother to pick up his dad at school.

"On a public school teacher's salary, it's not like we were a two-car family," he said. "I remember when I was 7, 8, 9, going to pick him up at the school where the big kids go, the junior high kids, and being so impressed with how cool the big kids were, but also how cool my dad was, ... just the rapport that he had with them as a musician and a mentor and a teacher."

Both of his parents participated in a long list of music groups from the mid-1950s to the mid-1960s. At one point or another, his father was director of the Grosse Pointe Community Chorus and the youth choir at the Grosse Pointe Congregational Church, and founder and director of the Grosse Pointe Chamber Singers as well as a member of the a capella men's singing group the Grunyons.

His mother was a housewife and busy volunteer during those years. She served on the board of the Grosse Pointe Community Chorus and was a member of the Chamber Singers. When her kids were old enough, she built a career in arts administration and community events organizing.

The family moved to Ohio when Simmons was 10. Then in 1973, the family relocated again to the University of Montana in Missoula, where his father was hired to lead the college's department of music. All three Simmons children graduated from there.

Don and Pat, as they were known, became civic and arts icons in their Montana community. After their deaths, each was honored at a tribute evening that filled a concert hall.

"They were the parents of our music school and theater school and arts in Missoula," said Maxine Ramey, the current director of the University of Montana's school of music. "They spearheaded projects and scholarships. They both passed relatively recently, and it was a huge loss to our college and our town."

Still a Tigers fan

But Detroit is still a hometown to J.K. Simmons, whose career as a character actor stretches from TV (NBC's Law & Order, HBO's Oz) and films (Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy, Juno) to his Farmers Insurance Group ads. He has remained a loyal fan of the Detroit Tigers (and played the team's manager in the Kevin Costner vehicle For Love of the Game).

Simmons said he may be back in Detroit for filming of Kong: Skull Island, a new take on the King Kong story that's set to be directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts.

"Honestly, when I first met with the director, he was talking about the whole concept and he said, 'We're going to shoot a few weeks in Detroit,'" Simmons said. "And I said, 'Would that happen to be during baseball season weather?' He said, 'Yes, it will be in the summer.'

"So I'm hoping to be able to spend some time there this summer."

His optimism is still in the cautious stage, however.

"These things, in the next six months, we could end up shooting in Vancouver, Kathmandu," he joked. "My hope is that I will be spending some time in Detroit that I don't even have to pay for the trip."

Simmons said he's been hearing a lot of stories ever since his Oscar speech about people calling up their parents.

Although he didn't know it, one of them happened Sunday to secretary Sheryl Hogan at Parcells Middle School, his dad's former employer. She was at an Oscar party Sunday night when her son, Dan, who lives in Lansing, Mich., phoned.

"'J.K. said to call my mom, so I'm calling my mom,'" Hogan said Monday, repeating what her son told her. "He said, 'I love you.' "