The National Union of States in India (NUSI) has declared Odisha as a ‘dwarf state’ at their annual meet held in New Delhi.

Odisha was one among five other states shortlisted to get the sack including Jharkhand, Chhattisgarh, Tripura and Manipur. But after a series of intense debate, the lawmakers took the decision to demote Odisha and also presented an expansive new set of rules & regulations to determine the statehood of other states in the future.

“Odisha is dead,” said Joy Mukherjee, secretary general of NUSI, with a smirk on his face. “It does not contribute anything significant to the country’s economy and apart from the genius that is Sudarsan Pattnaik, it doesn’t provide any personalities of international repute.

“In fact, the West Bengal government is actively pursuing Pattnaik to become one of their own,” finished Mukherjee with a paedophilic wink.

Call it fortuity or the universe’s ironic synchronicity, Odisha’s embarrassing dismissal came on the anniversary of the planet Pluto being declared a dwarf planet by the International Astronomical Union.

“Half of the delegation can’t even point Odisha on a map, mate,” said one lawmaker.

“Honestly, your food is bland & your cities are dirty with shit and spit stains, quite in contrast with what we are looking for.”

Odisha’s official detachment from India will commence on the next Utkal Divas. An intricate chain of bombs are being put along the borders of West Bengal, Jharkhand, Chattisgarh and Andhra Pradesh that will break Odisha off India while jet propulsion engines will guide the state towards the planet Pluto to roam the cosmic wilderness until the end of times.

Talk of the street is that Odisha and Charon, Pluto’s moon, have already engaged in a war of words.

Stay tuned to Odisha Gazette as we try to decipher the Plutonian dialect.