CASPER, WY—Saying she could hardly wait to see the looks on their faces as they finish the last few pages, fifth-grade teacher Melissa Botzki told reporters Wednesday she can already tell the kids in her class are about to go apeshit over the ending of Lois Lowry’s The Giver. “They have no idea what’s coming, and when it finally happens, they’re going to go fucking nuts,” said Botzki, who observed that the students had been lulled into a false sense of security by the 1994 Newbery Award winner and revealed that she looked forward to seeing their preconceptions shatter before their naïve little eyes as they read the final pages. “I wouldn’t be surprised if I had to spend the rest of class discussing the author’s intent or devote an entire day to a heated debate about the meaning behind the book’s ending. Judging by how complacent they are right now, when they finally reach the end of that last chapter, they’ll absolutely lose their shit.” In related news, schoolyard sources report that none of Botzski’s pupils had done the required reading.

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