I said I was gay and liked superman. I was awoken by my boyfriend telling me I had a package. So I did the manliest thing possible, I squealed like a 5 year old girl and ran to open my first christmas gift of the year. Looking at the address I see I received a gifter from The Bible Belt. Upon opening said box, I see three separate wrappings, something rolled, something bubble wrapped, and something bagged. I open the roll'd first and staring at my face was no other than Superman himself. I opened the bag to find a Kansas Christmas orpiment, along with Chocolate Caramel Brownie Ground Beans. So the giant bubble(bible?)wrapped was the last thing, on closer inspection I see inside those glorious bubbles is the words, "HOLY BIBLE". As a homosexual I chuckled, and opened it the rest of the way, something was off... I open the bible and THERE I find Malibu Rum!!!

Thanks Kris B.