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In an effort to ease the burden on the prison system, back in 1992 Trump suggested that his friend Mike Tyson be exempt from going to prison for rape and instead just pay a few million dollars. Now, not every rapist should be allowed to do this, of course, and not just rich rapists, either. Really only Mike Tyson, and probably because of the value he adds to society by not being in prison. Especially early '90s Tyson, who gave out rapings the way most people give out business cards.

Even though no one important took Trump's suggestion seriously, which is both shocking and hard to believe, considering that this is the man who invented the Stranger (when you sit on your hand until it goes to sleep, then masturbate. Every time you do it, you technically owe Trump $10, but he was never able to find a reliable way to bill people. It happened in the '70s, look it up), Trump did demonstrate a concern for our growing prison populations. This is still an issue today, and Trump was not the first nor the last person to suggest alternative ideas to incarceration that would benefit society as a whole. Would it do anyone any good to put another black man in jail? And, more importantly, would it do anyone any good to put the man who, at the time, was the biggest boxer in the world and a cash cow for Trump's casinos in jail? Of course not.

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In retrospect, maybe it would have been a bad move to allow Tyson to pay his way out of jail. Maybe he never would have gotten that face tattoo. Maybe he never would have done The Hangover. Maybe that ear thing wouldn't have transpired. But maybe if it had worked out, Tyson would have cured dysentery. We'll never know.