As you may remember, the 1989 film Back to the Future Part II saw Marty McFly and Doc Brown travel to the distant year of 2015, a year filthy with cyborgs and self-lacing sneakers. And a few days ago, Nike announced that they will market said shoes next year, which is smashing news for those of you who have yet to figure out Velcro.

But how far along are the other technological marvels as depicted in Back to the Future Part II's 2015? Well, a scan of the latest headlines is not heartening. If the following innovations don't come to pass in the next 300 days, we'll have to seriously rethink our company policy that all movies are nonfiction.