All right, guys. Now let's go back and talk aboutinfinitives. Remember -- Those are verbscombined with the word "to." [ Whispering ]Oh, my [bleep] God.Now, usually, an infinitiveacts like a noun, as in"I want to go out to eat," or "I hope to be chosen today." [ Whispering ] What?! I'mbored, dude.Now, usually, it isn't common to split "to" and the verb,but sometimes you can. [ Normal voice ]Knock it off! Is there a problem,guys? Go get my pen,fat ass! I'm am notyour slave, Kyle. Go get my pen! MR. MACKEY: Attention, students. Kyle Broflovski, report to the principal's office, please. [ Laughs ] PC Principalwants to see you, Kyle! Kyle Broflovski to the principal's office. M'kay? God damn it. Have fun, dude. [ Sighs deeply ] Oh, Kyle, [chuckles nervously]uh, thank you for coming. Where's PC Principal? I think he'sfinally lost it, Kyle. He and his PC buddies areon a hunger strike. They're callingfor people's resignations! Kyle, PC Principal had problemswith Jimmy and with Leslie, and now they're missing.M'kay? Nobody knowswhere they are. That's what happens. You go against PC,and you just end up missing. [ Shuddering ] M'kay. What are you talking about? PC Principal had issueswith them, m'kay? and he had issueswith you, Kyle. Whatever's going on...it's pretty damn scary.

JIMMY: For years, mankind hastried to rid the world of ads. For our ancestors,ads couldn't be avoided. But everyone knew what was an adand what wasn't. After many years,mankind invented cable, a way to pay for televisionso there would be no ads. But somehow,the ads still found a way. And so mankind invented TiVo,a way to skip past commercials. [ Pop ] Finally, it appearedto be the end of ads. And everywhere, people rejoiced. The ads were stopped.Or so it seemed... With the rise of the Internet,suddenly the ads had an en-entirely new wayto attack us -- Pop-ups. The top scientific mindswere brought together to find a way to stop the adsonce and for all. They invented the ad blocker. Suddenly, there were no adson phones, on computers. And everywhere, people rejoiced. But the ads adapted.They became s-smarter. They disguised themselvesas news. All around the world,people read news stories completely unawarethey were reading ads. And now, the ads have taken thenext step in their evolution. They have taken human form. Ads are among us. They could be your friend,your g-gardener. The ads are tryingto wipe us out. The question is how?

So, um...[clears throat]South Park kind of sucks now. You guys want to bail? What?! What are youtalking about? It's just, you know, used to benice and laid back here, but now it's all "ngh,"you know? Like -- Like now everybody'sall, "ngh-ngh." Let's bail.You want to bail, Stan? No, I don't. What's going on,Randy? Nothing! I just -- You know,we don't have to live here. We could live anywhere! Last month,all you could talk about was how greatthis town had become. What changed your mind? We can't afford it. We can't afford it? All these fancynew restaurants and shops and everyonewants to live here. A bowl of City Beef costs10 bucks now, for Christ's sake. And there's nowhere to shopbut stupid Whole Foods. Well, we'll just have to stopgoing to those places. I had to take outa second mortgage on the house. You what?! I had to Sharon!It isn't my fault! It's the man!Don't you see? The man is pricing usout of our own town.

It's just my luck. I talk to a nice girl,seem to hit it off, and she turns outto just be an ad. Well, that's what an ad does. She was designedto entice and manipulate. This is such a fantastic storyfor the school newspaper. Why don't we just run it so thateverybody knows the truth? Jimmy,we're newsmen like you. For decades, we usedour soft, buttery voices to inform the peopleabout what's happening. Then we watchedas our entire industry was taken over by the ads. Some of our colleagueswere manipulated into doing the ads' bidding. The man who came to your housewith a gun was one of them. Our own Kevin Jarvis has more. Thanks, Tom. Jimmy,the man who tried to kill you was a Brian Bouyant of WXNR,Fort Collins. When he saw there wasno money in news anymore, he sided with the adseven though he knew it meant the destructionof our species. Back to you, Tom.Thanks, Kevin. The only hope for the truthto get out there, Jimmy, is for you see throughthis ad's deception and to find outwhat they're planning. Your Super School Newswas a threat to them, but unless you getthis little bitch to talk, we may never know why.

Will you look at this? KYLE:"Principal sends two favoritestudents on a Disney Cruise. This week studentsJimmy Valmer and Leslie Meyers are being treatedto an all-expenses-paid vacation for their outstanding school" --What the hell is this? It doesn't makeany sense, dude. PC Principal is using the schoolpaper to cover something up. Yeah, I...I don't wantto get involved. You don't want to get involved?Dude, what's wrong with you? I've already learned you can'twin against PC Principal. You should know,of all people, since he's convertedyour dad. What's thatsupposed to mean? Fellas, we found outwhat happened to Jimmy! He got to go on a vacationfor being an exemplary student. That is notwhat happened. Something isvery wrong here. We all have to stand upto PC Principal together. Yeah, and wasn'tJimmy the one in charge ofthe school newspaper? So who'sputting this out? I like the school paper. I like to type with my hands. Who told youthat the principal sent Jimmy on a Disney Cruise? Uhhhhh... Uhhhhh... Uh, don't remember. You have quotes in herefrom Jimmy. Did you talk to him? Uhhhhh... Uhhhhh...I like the school paper. Come on.We'll get to the bottom of this. Did I do good, computer? I think the sponsored contentfooled them. I hope I made you happy. Can you see me, computer? Do you know what I'm thinkingright now? [ Pop ]

We have to make surenobody recognizes us. There's no tellingwho works for who. Here, Caitlyn, I got youthis fake mustache to put on. I'm not putting on a mustache.I'll look silly. Oh, that --that's where you draw the line, huh, Caitlyn?Don't be an asshole. [ Sarcastically ]No, you're right. That's nuts. A womanwearing a mustache -- That's just ridiculous,huh, Cait-- All right, all right.I'll put it on. [Bleep]No, no, please, Cait. Don't put on a fake mustache.That's crazy. You don't want people thinkingyou're a weirdo. I mean, geez. [ Chuckling ]You're such an asshole. [ Indistinct conversations ] What the hell is this? What have they doneto my town?! Keep your voice down! Since when do we havea flippin' Whole Foods?! Everything's changed. Hi, there.You got a minute for gay rights? Gay rights?!Geez, you already got all those. What the helldo you want to do now? All right.Your total is $126.39. And would you like to givea dollar to help hungry children get iPads to protectyour Internet safe space today? I will. What the Sam hellis going on?

Why would anyone think that I'mon the principal's side? I hate the principal.I think he's a dick. So, you don't know anythingabout the principal that might be newsworthy? Super School News-worthy? Just that he hated meand called me a blabbermouth. I don't thinkI'm a blabbermouth. I just liketalking to people. [ Clears throat ] Leslie,what kind of plans do you have? Do you have any plans? What kind of plans? Just, you know, plans. Like, what are you hopingto...accomplish? I don't know.What are your plans? Well, I wantto pursue careers in both news reportingand comedy. [ Chuckles ] Really?That's...different. Yeah, you're pretty differentyourself, Leslie. How so? I'm starting to think that maybeall ads aren't so bad. Jimmy, you're thinkingwith your dick. I am not thinkingwith my dick.Yes, you are. No, I just thinkthat she's a --Put your dick away. She's an emotional, interesting,caring girl.Jim. Jimmy. That's your dick talking. Believe me.I know how you feel. Ads promise us things. Ads are perfect. But make no mistake --All ads lie. And all ads deceive.

There -- Leslie's Instagramand her Twitter. Last entry was10 days ago. What about Jimmy's? Jimmy never usedthat stuff, remember? He said he hatedusing the Internet. How do you hate the Internet?That's like hating titties. What are you doing now? I'm just lookingfor any news articles or anythingabout PC Principal. [ Computer whirring ] [ Muffled ] Where did you sayPC Principal was from? I thinkit was Vermont. Maybe there's somethingfrom the news in Vermont that can give usa clue about -- God damn it.What the hell is this? That's an ad for skiingin Vermont. That looks fun! Dude!Dude, look at this. How PC cultureis changing Vermont from a stateof intolerance to a -- Dude,there it is again! KENNY: Mrph?It's that goddamn guitar! This ad is[bleep] following me! Just click out of it.I'm trying! God damn it.Get over here! That's a prettysweet-looking guitar. It is pretty cool, dude.It tunes itself. How does it do that? It's this companythat does all kinds ofhigh-tech instruments. See, look, I'll show you. Oh, that's sweet. Send me the link to thisso I can -- Oh, dude, that new"Frankenstein" movie's out. I totallywant to see that. That movie'sgonna suck, dude. Hit the arrow. I want to seewhere it's playing. Oh, sorry.Wrong arrow button. Wow! What kind ofice cream is that? [ Laughter ] Yeah, yeah. So --So, Clyde says to Token, "Why don't you opena bank account with your mouth so I can depositmy dick in it?" [ Laughter ] So thenwhat did Token say? Token was all like -- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,whoa, whoa. What the hellare we doing? Eating ice cream,dipshit. But what about Jimmy?We were, like, totally trying to find outwhat happened to him. Whoa. What the helljust happened? We got distracted! We got to get backto that computer!

You're gonna experiencevanilla after tones and a nutty finish. You mean like someoneput their balls in the glass? Nah, like chestnuts,damn it. I just can't keep upwith this town no more. Everything's gettin'all nice and fancy. I swear I'm gonnaneed to get a second mortgage on the ranchjust to pay my daily expenses. Don't you get it? That's just what they want. Nobody cares about the peoplewho lived here before. They want us to move 'cause then they wantto knock our houses down and build more lofts and villas. All right, Randy,you should probably lay off the ol'vine Chatuenuf de Pape. You'll all see. Pretty soon, everyonewho used to live here is gonna have to move, and we'll all be shoppingat the Safeway again. ♪♪ ♪ Where has my town gone? ♪ Where has my -- Oof! You like apples? [ Groans ] How you like them apples? Hey, it's Caitlyn Jenner! Check his ass! [ Muffled ]Principal Victoria? He's one of them.One of what? Caitlyn. [ Groans ]

Let's say you wantedto destroy an entire species. How would yougo about it? Why would I want to destroyan entire species? You have the wrong ideaabout me, Jimmy. The person tryingto change things and make everything terribleis the new principal. And what is the new Principaltrying to do, Leslie? He's trying to make surepeople like you and me aren't allowed to exist. I know thatyou're trying to help. I know that the newsmen in thereare trying to help, too. But now I'm going to tell yousomething very important, Jimmy. ♪ Like a rock! ♪ I drive a Chevy, I'm a cowboy,and I drive it like a rock! ♪ What the hell is that? Tom, it looks likea pop-up ad. How did an adget in here? Let's go to Davidat the network hub. No answers here, Tom. We're tryingto correct the problem. You have to get meout of here, Jimmy. They're going to kill me.What? Listen to me carefully,and don't look at the glass. I feel something for youI have never felt before. I think it's trust. The men in thereare sick with hatred, and as soon as they realizeI have no information, they are going to burn me.I've seen them do it to others. Please, you have tohelp me, Jimmy. Don't let them hurt me.Please don't abandon me. When the lights go back on,just look at me and smile. David, any wordon the pop-up ad situation? Tom, we've just aboutgot it fixed. Should be ready now. And that's really it,Jimmy. I want to help all of youhowever I can.

So, then Token tells Clydethat if his mouth was a bank, Clyde's mom would have alreadydeposited her dick in it, which is hilariousbecause Clyde's mom is dead! [ Laughter ] Wait, wait, wait,whoa, whoa. What the hellare we doing? We're trying on shoes and eatingchicken nuggets, stupid. What do you think? No. That's notwhat we set out to do. We were --We were on Cartman's computer, looking up news storiesabout PC Principal. Didn't we finishdoing that? No, we didn't. It's like someone'strying to distract us because they're worried whatwe'll uncover about PC people. Yeah, like one of usis purposely trying to keep us from digging too deepbecause they're afraid. Why are youlooking at me? Why are youlooking at me? Why isn't anyonelooking at me?

[ Spits, groans ] Hey [bleep] you. Wake up, dickhead. Garrison, what the hellis wrong with you? I'll tell youwhat's wrong with me. There's enemies to humanityout there, wanting to put an endto all of us, and there's assholes like youhelping them out! I don't knowwhat you're talking about. Whose idea was it to revitalizethe shitty part of town into an arts-and-foods districtcalled ShiTpaTown? All right,it was kind of my idea. Son of a bitch. What, to take one area of townthat was crappy and gentrify itfor the local people to enjoy? I thoughtwe could keep it contained! It doesn't contain. What's happened to South Parkis happening everywhere. 30 miles south of herein the town of Fairplay, they've changed an areanorth of downtown into NODOFOPA. A run-down area southof the capital in Cheyenne, Wyoming,is now historic SOCACHEYWO. Channel Streetin mid-Chicago is being revitalizedinto Chimichanga. Oh, my God. LODO, SOBRO, RIVMO --all happening at the same time. And it isn'tjust in the U.S. In Cairo, the area northwestof the third pyramid is NoWE3Pi. Three miles north of Auschwitzis NoMoAuchie. It goes on and on! What does it mean? In our town, it all startedwhen PC Principal arrived. He's partof a much larger conspiracy, and you're his lackey. Not me. If PC Principal has beenusing us, I'll take the bastard downmyself.

It's day twoof the hunger strike started by the college-agedfraternity brothers who are demandingthat all of South Park's community leaders step down. The PC frat brothers saythey've gone now two days without eating any pussy and will continue to do sountil people resign. Who is that reporter?Do we...know him? Tom, that'sBill Keegan, WCFO. Thanks, Brian. He's workingfor the ads, obviously. Sellout douchebag. That's right, Tom. He was always a douchebagat the conventions. Thanks, Rick. Stay dry. [ Lock rattling ] Leslie, come on. Jimmy,you're gonna help me? Yeah, I'm gonna help you.I mean, come on. TOM: Jimmy! Oh, Jesus,he let her out! PC Principal is our enemy,not her. His dick is compromised.Stay back! It is not my dick. I'm thinking rationallyand with logic. I am taking herout of here. Well, then, I'm sorryI have to do this, Jimmy. Officer Barbrady, we need youto shoot these kids. What?! The ad has gotten to him.There's no time to argue. I'm not shootingany more kids! Do you wantto save your town?! Officer Barbrady,we have to stop PC Principal before it's too late! Barbrady,shoot them in their heads! No! I'm not shootingany more people -- not for you,not for anybody! You're making the worst mistakeof your life, officer. Maybe so. All I knowis I'm done shooting people. [ Gunshot ]Aah! Oh, sorry. Geez. Damn it!

Think about it,you guys. From the momentPC Principal took over, Kyle's been different.Haven't you noticed? Yeah. He's distracting us either because he's too afraidor because he -- What are you guystalking about? Nothing! Stan's calling youa traitor. What?! Kyle, I thinkit's pretty obvious you don't want us investigatingPC Principal. And why do you thinkthat, Stan, huh?I don't know. Because if anyonehas a reason for us to not mess with PC Principal,it's you! Let's not forgetthat Stan's dad is PC Principal'slittle bitch! [ Laughs ]That's a good point! I am loving thisright now. My dad's stupid,not a bitch. This is aboutyou being scared, Kyle! It is you,isn't it? That's why you're tryingto shift blame on me. That's very Cartmanof you, Stan. Oh, that's low. Don't you darecall me a Cartman! No, that's good. Just keep ondistracting everybody. It seems to be working,Cartman. [bleep] you, Kyle! Fight! [ Indistinct shouting ]

Time to takethis asshole down. Whoa, whoa, whoa!Guys, whoa! We can't justgo walking in there. Why not? This is a safe space.We're not allowed past this. When you breacha college safe space, you're crossing the most sacredhuman boundary there is. Oh, give me a break. No, no, no, no, no.Look, this is very real and very importantin PC culture. Every human has a rightto a safe space. It cannot be entered. Yeah, it can. Watch. Wow, how did you -- Whoa!

Burning the midnight oil,huh, Nathan? Jimmy!You son of a bitch. What have doneto the Super School News? I was just holding down the fortwhile you were away, Jim. Writing headlines sponsoredby PC Principal and the ads? How muchdid they pay you?! Please, Jimmy.I'm just trying to survive here. Everyone's gonna knowthe truth, Nathan. We're getting a new editionof the school paper out by morning. Everyone's going to knowall about the ads. [ Laughing ] Deal with him. [ Weakly ] Leslie,I thought we were b-besties. [ Echoing ]Hey there, big man. Editor of the school paper, huh? You still don't even know half the story.