COLUMBUS, OH—Observing clear signs of both pre-established friendships and more advanced ceramic-ware knowledge, area woman Shailene McFadden realized Friday that the rest of her pottery class was already acquainted with one another from at least one previous pottery class. “As soon as I walked in, I noticed that most of the class already had their own thing going on together,” said McFadden, noting that, despite the class being called “Introduction To Pottery,” her classmates were also somehow on a first-name basis with the teacher, a clear indicator that they had already been introduced to pottery. “They’re all helping each other get set up and discussing different clays and glazes, and no one is even talking to me. And they keep asking each other if they’re going to ‘the bar’ after class, so they clearly have an established spot where they all hang out together. Dammit, this is Judo For Beginners all over again.” McFadden later admitted she was considering dropping the class after being informed by a classmate that the stool she had chosen was where Brian usually sits.

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