General Hux was wise to not comment more than "We're evacuating. The Supreme Leader requested our presence". Kylo Ren clutched his side and trudged on through the snow and strengthening tremors of the planet's final death throws. His breath misted through the air with exertion as they made their way to the escape transport. Hux warily kept casting glances at him, no doubt wondering what happened. Part of Ren wanted Hux to say anything so he could Force choke him and leave him behind, but the Supreme Leader would be displeased with that action he was sure. Ren had too many emotions and thoughts in his head of the events that unfolded that day. He needed to think everything through and compose himself before seeing the Supreme Leader.

Kylo Ren laid back on the cold med lab bed exhaling painfully as he reclined. "This will leave a scar Sir, and I suggest anesthesia to effectively treat this and your wound on your abdomen..." the head med droid 2-1B droned on while preparing to clean and mend the gash on Ren's face. The lightsaber cauterized the wound somewhat, but it still needed medical attention.

"Local anesthesia only" Ren said through gritted teeth. He had too much to think about and he didn't want the drugs to make him sleepy or unable to focus. 2-1B said nothing and began to tend to his face, while the other droid started to cut away his belt and robe which was soaked in blood and sweat. Ren suspected that the pressure from his belt and his determination was the only reason he carried on... and braced himself for the release of pressure when the belt was removed. His head spun briefly and he gripped the bed rails as the belt was cut away. He refused to cry out and instead focused on the Force to help dull the pain. Ren knew the shot in his stomach was the deliberate target- the Wookie had very good aim and if he had to guess he was unsettled by Ren's betrayal. Ren perused the day's events, and pointedly avoided thinking about his biggest annoyance until last.

Starkiller Base had been destroyed. He didn't have to see the explosion to feel the reverberations throughout the ship as he arrived on the freighter. Ren knew that there were several weaknesses that could have been abused, but all of them had several layers of protections and few knew the codes to take the shields down. The traitor FN-2187 was a lowly engineer on the base and only recently had been elevated to do field runs supervised by Captain Phasma. No way would he have the codes for the shields. With any luck the traitor would be dead with the wound Ren impacted on him... FN-2187 took a Force enhanced swing across his whole back. Ren hoped that Hux had a moment of weakness and lowered the shields for some implausible reason. Then he could remove that annoyance from his life. Ren felt a moment of pleasure at the thought of executing Hux for his incompetency. The destruction of the base was a huge setback to the First Order, but the Supreme Leader always had other machinations in the works.

The death of Han Solo at his own hand brought him opposing feelings, and that made him angry. Ren was so sure that once he killed his own father he'd be released from the pull of the Light side, but instead he felt as conflicted as ever. Ren still felt the pull of the Light on the bridge until the very last second. The desire to see his mother and a thought of bonding with his father was a Light based fantasy. He pushed down the few memories of his childhood with Han Solo and instead tried to focus on the act of driving his own lightsaber into his father's torso. Unfortunately that only brought up the last gestures and words of his father - saying that he would help Ren, and touching Ren's face before falling off the catwalk. In his mixed shock and euphoria at killing his own father, Ren's senses were weakened and missed blocking the crossbow shot from Chewbacca in retaliation.

His thoughts raced on. Ren hoped that maybe he needed a few days for his course to the Dark side become set, yet a small voice told him that wasn't the way. The only thing Ren felt was regret for what could have been with his father. Ren also suspected some of the feelings of loss were from his mothers connection with the Force. He needed to become stronger, to be better than even his grandfather. The Supreme Leader must be withholding knowledge from him until this day came. Ren could only fantasize that any additional information the Supreme Leader could pass to him would strengthen Ren's desire and power with the Dark side.

Ren wiped some wetness from the corner of his eye; 2-1B was almost done mending Ren's cheek. The med droid scanned over the scar several times with a sensor to make sure no further infection was present and to promote healing. Ren's face felt taut and he hoped the sensation would pass soon. He caught a small reflection of himself in the droid's metallic face,and for the first time realized how big the cut had been. A little deeper and Ren would have been dead. Ren wanted to lash out at his own weakness, and the subject he wanted to avoid. He clenched his jaw instead until it felt that his teeth would break.

"The wound on your abdomen is taking additional time to mend due to the seriousness of it Sir. We will be able to repair it and suggest that you avoid physical and stressful activity until it is fully healed" the med droid instructed. The med droid continued to attend to the smaller burns Ren received during the snowy confrontation, the strong smell of antiseptic and the burn salves invading his nose. Ren glared at the droid and then closed his eyes for the mental assessment he wanted to shy away from.

The girl. The scavenger. Rey. Her accusing eyes and face blossomed in his conscious. He could still sense her life force, albeit far away in the galaxy. Just the thought of her was fighting everything else in his mind to dominate his thoughts. He had interrogated her what seemed ages ago, and never had the chance to fully review the information she provided when news came that she broke free of her cell. She was dangerous- he knew that now and paid the price for underestimating her. He won't make that mistake again. As much as he was angry with himself for his arrogance, he was also envious of her exceptional ability.

Her ability was remarked on before - he knew because he was one of the first to know about her.

Ren did not catch any recognition from Rey that she knew who he was. He was his Uncle Luke's eldest student at the new Jedi Academy on Yavin 4. He remembered meeting her, Ren was a young man and she still a child. She was an orphan from Coruscant brought to the academy, found by his mother's assistance to find Force sensative children for Luke's school. Ren attended the meeting deep within the jungle pyramid where Luke tested her midi-chlorian levels, and notated her information into the systems. Ren didn't pay much attention to what his uncle was notating or discussing with her caretakers but rather observing her. She was nervous and scared Ren could tell, but also there was a defiant look in her eyes that she was a survivor.

Ren's thoughts fast forwarded him to that day only several months later where he went to meet with his uncle and over heard him talking to his mother about Rey.

"She's incredible. I know the old Jedi used to monitor the midi-chlorian levels to gage aptitude with the Force, but even with that, I expect great things from her. She is quick to learn. I'm glad you sent her to me Leia. With time she may very well be stronger than I am with the Force."

Ren's breath caught and it felt like someone squeezed his heart. He never had thought about individual strength in the force but with his uncle being who he is, and his grandfather being one of the strongest Force users in modern history, he naturally assumed he'd be stronger than anyone else living one day. To have this young child who barely started her training, destined to surpass him made him upset. And hearing about his uncle talk about her in that way - that used to be how Ren was talked about. A remarkable child.

Ren would often think this was the turning point in his life where he wanted to be the strongest than anyone else, he was intended to be! He remembered doubling down on his studies and researching on his own how to become stronger in the Force. Then he found the information he was looking for. Was Darth Vader stronger in the force than Anakin and Luke Skywalker? Was Darth Vader defeated because of Anakin's weakness for Luke? The revelation scared Ren, but it paled in comparison to Ren's desire to find out more. Maybe there was a way to only utilize some of the Dark side to bend it to Ben's will. Ben was a good person.

Ren realized how naive his younger self was. From there his journey brought to where he is today. His attack on the Academy directed by the Supreme Leader was mostly a success... except Ren suspected his Uncle Luke had an idea about the malevolent plans and spirited himself and Rey away during the confusion.

Since then Luke had gone into hiding and the girl was no where to be found. Ren always had a small fear that the Force would somehow bring her back again and he would have to fight her, so he trained even harder. He always kept his ear open for any sort of young girl who had uncanny luck; and Ren wished fervently that something else would take care of her so he wouldn't have to. Years later, they crossed paths...

Ren looked down to his side, it was a faint pink with weak scar tissue, any extreme movement Ren could tell would rip the tissue apart. He watched as the droid expertly applied clean linen first around the tender scar, and then more securely around his abdomen. "You're dismissed" Ren coldly stated to the med droids and picked up his black robe to dress and leave. He felt that the droid probably wanted to natter on about being careful but Ren silenced him with a look. The droids exited right before he did, and he quickly paced himself to his quarters on the ship. Ren did not like walking anywhere without his helmet and Knights of Ren regalia; he felt more comfortable with it on, he felt stronger with it on. This is who Ben Organa Solo was now. Kylo Ren.

He couldn't stop thinking about her for very long, she was a puzzle and an impediment to his destiny. How did Rey get so strong so fast? He was aware when they first met on Takodana she barely just grasped the Force, he was easily able to overwhelm her. He toyed with her a bit to see how far she was along, and at that moment he knew it was almost nothing. He initially tested her senses in the forest but she struggled to locate him until he appeared. His mind drifted over their chase and her attempts to lose or kill him.

Ren sat down on a chair in his quarters and continued to think about the exchange between him and Rey. His side ached in protest but his mind was elsewhere, specifically on those eyes that challenged him and his authority.

She taunted him to his face, not scared for a moment that she was his prisoner ... and then accused him of being a monster hiding behind a mask. She knew nothing. But why did he feel the need to remove his helmet? He felt somehow reckless and a small part of him nervous that she may recognize him if he took it off - and the reckless part of him won. He removed the helmet and looked into her eyes. She seemed somewhat surprised- what did she think he was?

Ren's mind raced. That must have been his mistake. He was able to control himself and the situation better without her looking into his eyes. Scaring someone as Kylo Ren wearing his mask was much more threatening than without it. He needed to frighten them to read their mind easier as they become weaker to withholding information. She fought back though. The resistance pilot he interrogated just the week before snapped with much less pressure than he had used on Rey. At the time her defiance angered him and he became forceful in getting the information to the location to his uncle's hideaway. Ren preferred to use a combination of verbal threats, exposing his prisoner's weaknesses, and using the Dark side of the Force to prod the pain centers in the brain...

Ren's recollection continued. As he was delving into her mind to find the missing piece to Luke Skywalker when he started to feel her mind in his. A look of surprise and awe rose on her face. Ren panicked and receded but not before it was too late and she taunted him again "You're afraid that you'll never be as strong as Vader!". It scared him. He mustered a threat and left to recollect his thoughts after her successful probing of his mind.

He gripped the armrests in anger. The thought of her fighting back like that, and then learning his abilities to use it against him made his pulse rage hot. She having basically zero training able to already succeed him... No, he forced down the thoughts. He rubbed his temple and closed his eyes. The girl caught him off guard mentally. The Supreme Leader was not impressed with his challenge at retrieving the map, and then developed an interest in her as she was proving to be a match for him. Ren fought the feeling of being weak and threatened by her innate skill...

He reviewed in his mind their duel in the ever-winter forest, and how even then he still tried to dismiss her skill. He was wounded yes but she had great aptitude. Just as Luke said. Even worse that his grandfather's lightsaber flew past him into her grasp. Ren couldn't hide his surprise and dismay long as Rey charged at him with barely a pause. She swung with a vicious ferocity that would have strained any normal being without use of the Force. Trees cracked and fell from Rey and Ren's savage lightsaber hits, and the snow continued to dance around them in the wind.

His thoughts hovered on one moment with the two of them in the falling snow and their light sabers locked against each other, "You need a teacher!... I can show you the ways of the Force!". Looking into her eyes he saw the same young child for an instant. Scared yet determined. With Rey on the edge and Starkiller Base wasting away around them, he really thought that she would join him. Ren remembered the moment the words coming out of his mouth being surprised, but also knowing thats what he desired. She was strong, and he could be the best teacher for her. She closed her eyes and then countered with the Force, leaving him wounded and alone as the ground broke between them.

Why had she refused him? He had come so far on his own and in his own right. He would be the best teacher for her - together they could rule the Galaxy.

Ren stopped himself from those thoughts... they were dangerous. He was on his way to the Supreme Leader. She was most likely on her way to his uncle if she had access to the full map. He assumed she did or that Luke would find her. Despite him being in his hideaway Luke would somewhat be aware of Han's death and possibly Rey's awakening. This was not going to end well. But a small voice said she is only barely older than what he was when he came to the Supreme Leader and the Dark side. Maybe she too can be turned. While his draw to the Dark side was for power, maybe he can draw her with her fears. Ren liked the thought of this possibility. The next time they meet he will show her the true power of the Dark side and what her life could be with him teaching her.

Ren continued to think long into the night about the Dark side and the Force. And about Rey.

Uplated 12/26/15- watched TFA again and adjusted some dialogue and descriptions. Thanks!