How Letting Go of Money Made me More of It

How lessons from online poker have helped my consulting business.

Several years ago, when it was still legal to do so, I used to play a lot of online poker. I was still in college and made enough that I didn’t have to work a “real” job. There were a few good lessons, the most important one being how to have an emotional detachment from money. And by applying these lessons to my consulting business, I’ve learned that by thinking less about money, I’ve been able to make more of it.

The Root of All Evil

Of course we all have an intrinsic, subconscious attachment to money. However, this is exactly what makes us the irrational consumer that spits in the face of the prototypical homo economicus that many believe drive our society. As long you maintain an emotional bond with money and wealth, the decisions you make regarding it will be emotional ones instead of rational ones. Which is the way we work by default.

Lesson 1: It’s not Your Money

In poker, there are several betting rounds. In each round, players place money into the pot, a pile of chips in the center of the table. When a winner of a hand is decided, they take all of the money in the center.

When someone thinks or knows they are a favorite to win the pot, but then fate throws them a curveball and you end up losing on the last card, this is called a bad beat. This tends to anger and upset players greatly, often causing them to go “on tilt”, meaning that now they aren’t thinking clearly and are more likely to make bad plays in the future. Why are these kinds of hands so upsetting to us? It’s because we assume that the money in the pot is already ours.

It’s important to remember that money in the pot belongs to no one. You never “have a lot of money in the pot.” You have none. The minute you place a bet in poker, that money is lost. But once we think we are a lock to win, we subconsciously decide that the money in the middle is now ours.

You hear similar things in sales. “Damn! I lost a big sale!” A sale is never yours to lose. You can’t lose something that wasn’t yours to begin with.