“The secret of the creative life is how to feel at ease with your own embarrassment. We’re all in the dirty laundry business and we’re being paid to take risks and look silly. Race car drivers get paid to risk their lives in a more concrete way; we get paid to risk our lives in an emotional way.” – Paul Schrader

One of the most challenging things to deal with in life, especially in the dating game is with your past. Specifically things that embarrass you or may not put you in the best light. We all have these skeletons, be it a picture taken while drunk and passed out or that time you got caught having sex with the neighbor’s daughter in her car. So how do you deal with your personal dirty laundry?

3. Prevention is the best cure. First things first, is making wise decisions. If you find yourself at a party with people acting crazy and committing arson, then it might not be the wisest idea to be on video in your friend’s snap story yelling “burn it!” at the top of your lungs. A side effect of the internet age is that once things are out there, the are out there. So be smart with how you conduct yourself. I’m not saying don’t go out and have a good time, but just be conscious of the day and age we’re in. One thing you do could wind up all over the web.

2. Own it. What’s past has past, you can’t take it back. So the only thing you can do is own it and move on. When you attempt to bury it, lie about it, or run away from it, somehow it always manages to catch up with you. I’m not saying you should highlight it or lead off with it, but if it does come up, the way to handle it is to take ownership of it.

Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you. – Tyrion Lannister

1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Building on the second point of owning your past, you have to own it but that doesn’t mean that you have owe every a long, heartfelt sob story on how you where young and dumb. You can be honest about your past in the sense of “yes that happened,” and you can leave it at that. Frankly most people don’t care and also trying to explain the past gives them ammo to be used against you in the future. I have plenty of things from my past that I have to own, like being very Blue Pill, being in debt and being homeless. Your past refines you, not defines you. So use it as fuel to drive your life in a positive direction. So should you find yourself confronted by the dirty laundry of your past, take ownership of it and let it be known that while you’re not proud of it, it is a par of your story and you’ve grown as a person and moved on from it.

Cheers.