Look, you don't have to tell us how hard it is to find the perfect house. You search and you search and you search, and you finally find a place with a 20-car garage, but then you discover that it doesn't have a revolving dining room floor. So you keep searching, and you find a place with a revolving dining room floor, but then it turns out that the garage is only big enough for 16 cars. So you keep looking and you find a place with both a revolving dining room floor and a 20-car garage, and you're just about to sign the papers when, at the last second, you remember to ask whether or not it has the longest residential pool in the United States. And it turns out it doesn't, and it's back to the drawing board.

But now, finally, a cute little house with all three of those crucial features is for sale. It will go up for auction later this month.

· Escondido Estate [Platinum Luxury Auctions]