American football. A game of tradition, history, integr(RECORD SCRATCH)

Oh, P.J. Fleck, you done did it again. TIMESTAMP ANALYSIS INCOMING!

0:27 - Take every college coach in the country. Film each one saying the name "DJ ILL MIXX." Fleck would definitely be among the most credible-sounding. Jim Grobe would be among the least. Art Briles would be the most enjoyable. Hire DJ ILL MIXX, Art Briles.

0:45 - "The atmosphere's gonna be electric. It's gonna be alive. It's gonna be positive." These are all said as if they were threats, not promises. This is why P.J. Fleck would be a terrible waiter.

"We have some specials tonight. Number one. Swordfish, served with a - "

"OH GOD JUST TAKE MY WALLET PLEASE DON'T HURT ME."

1:15 - If I'm understanding this correctly, the Fog Horn's only purpose is to let you know that there are 20 minutes until a Western Michigan game will begin. That sort of goes along with the nautical thing going on at WMU, but wouldn't a ship's bell be more appropriate, since it's used to tell time? Isn't a fog horn something you use to say "hey, boat. watch out. there's rocks 'n stuff and you might crash on 'em." I don't see how that's consistent with a positive atmosphere, Coach.

1:27 - Did he sweat through his shirt?

1:30 - Casual 2 Chainz mention. You know what? Give Johnny Manziel a penalty-free transfer if he agrees to play for Western Michigan. They're the only ones who really get him.

1:58 - That's right. The WMU players come out to 2 Chainz, then a nursery rhyme starts, and then it ends with John Fogerty. This is what it would be like if iPods could have dissociative identity disorder.

2:18 - Wait, why are you talking about hockey, P.J. Fleck? Oh, it's to troll your own fanbase? Acceptable.

2:40 - THE SHIRT IS BACK TO WHITE DAMN YOU ENCHANTED GARMENT

3:00 - This is the only part of the video you really, really have to see. It's P.J. Fleck, demonstrating what the fans in the stadium are supposed to do on third down.

He says they'll be playing "For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica while you do this, but be honest - doesn't this go better with Katy Perry's "Firework?" COME ON LET YOUR COVERAGE BURST!

3:16 - Wait, I lied. THIS is the only part of the video you need to see.

ROW.

ROW.

ROW.

ROW.

ROW.

ROW.

ROW.

ROW.

There's more to the video, but it's not P.J. Fleck rowing his ass off, so who cares?