First, by the most charitable interpretation of your actions possible, you bumble your way into influencing a presidential election on behalf of a vulgar talking yam. Then, the president*-elect blows you a kiss and enfolds you in a bro-hug that is going to embarrass you and your descendants after you unto the tenth generation. Finally, you get to keep your job.

This is your life, James Comey. From The New York Times:

The Justice Department's inspector general is investigating Mr. Comey's handling of the Clinton email case, including both his decision to discuss it at a news conference and to disclose just days before the election that he had new information that could lead him to reopen it. The F.B.I. says it welcomes the investigation, and F.B.I. officials say they believe more information will be made available to the public that will help explain his actions. On Sunday at the White House, Mr. Trump held an event to honor law enforcement officers who provided security for the inauguration. After calling the Secret Service director to the front of the room, Mr. Trump spotted Mr. Comey. "Oh, there's Jim, he's become more famous than me," Mr. Trump said.

Is it worth all this just to go down in history as the L. Patrick Gray of the new millennium?

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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