Millions of Americans are breathing a sigh of relief knowing the recent historic flooding in South Louisiana has not impacted the home of their annual bacchanal.

People from all over the country are expressing a sense of gratitude knowing New Orleans was spared any significant and lasting effects of the record-setting floodwaters that devastated numerous parishes and destroyed tens of thousands of homes and businesses.

“I happened to see a brief mention on CNN that there was flooding going on in Louisiana,” said Joshua Milton, of Beaverton, CO. “I immediately worried New Orleans was getting deluged again, because I just assumed that’s all there is to the state. Boy, was I relieved when I found out the floods were destroying parts of Louisiana I didn’t know or care about!”

The 27-year-old software engineer added, “I’m so happy I still get to go to Mardi Gras, see titties for free, and get blown by strangers in the street!”

“Boy, was I relieved when I found out the floods were destroying parts of Louisiana I didn’t know or care about!”

Clay Boulden, of Ogden, UT, expressed similar sentiments after learning the deadly floodwaters did not reach the Crescent City.

“I go to Mardi Gras every year,” explained the 32-year-old insurance adjuster. “It’s my chance to let loose and release my pent-up urges I have to repress while living in Utah. I’m just glad I can still go somewhere, get absolutely wasted, and act like Ryan Lochte with impunity without the need for a passport or the ability to win Olympic medals.”