In 2020, American voters must choose among several visions of the future. There is a serious debate going on in the Democratic Party about what is wrong with the country and what needs to be done to fix it.

And I, for one, am not going to take a stance on that debate.

Should we be realists? Should we be radicals? Should we be neither radical nor realistic? Yes, yes and yes!

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Put it this way: America is being attacked by a bear, and depending on what type of a bear it is, we either must play dead immediately or should NOT play dead at any cost — in fact, playing dead is the worst thing we could do. So I would advise America: Either play dead, or don’t! This building is either on fire or not, and consequently, I advise people either to rush out of the building with their children and valuables, or take a nap! Good luck!

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One of these 12 possible cups contains the antidote to the poison that has been coursing through America’s system. I would advise America: Definitely drink from one of these cups!

One of two things is wrong with America: Either the entire system is broken or is on the verge of breaking, and we need someone to bring about radical, structural change, or — we don’t need that at all! Which is it? Who can say? Certainly not me, and that is why I am telling you now which candidate to vote for.

We stand at an immense crossroads, a decision that will have enormous consequences. Some paths lead to destruction, and others to potential destruction, and others might lead to renewal. And my advice to you is: You had certainly better choose a path.

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If there were ever a time to be open to ideas, it is now. But if there were ever a time to seal off our minds from ideas, lest they contaminate and confuse us, it is also now. If there were ever a time to have principles and state them, now is surely that time. But, then again, if there were ever a time to cast principles aside and choose a candidate for sheer pragmatism, now is also that time.

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If there were ever a time to vote for a candidate who was polling well, now might be that time, more than ever. But if there were ever a time to question the entire concept of polls as an institution, might it not also be now, also more than ever?

If there were ever a time to have a single opinion about something, and try to convince people by arguing for that opinion, it might be now. But then again, if there were a time to pick literally every possible opinion and try to have it at once, it might also be now.

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Maybe I should have come to a little bit more of a decision before writing this! No, I think this is good. I’m going to continue.

If there were a time to advise people what candidate to select, it might be now, in this, my official endorsement. But if there were a time to not advise people what candidate to select, it might equally be now, in this, my official endorsement.

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On the one hand, every individual candidate has some flaw. On the other hand, in the aggregate, the candidates are pretty exciting. On a third hand, why limit yourself to two hands?

Yes, in an ideal world, I would only endorse a single candidate. But this election has made it all too clear that we do not live in an ideal world. Therefore, I am endorsing one candidate for each reality: one for what I have dubbed an ideal reality (Warren), one for a “pragmatic” reality (Klobuchar) and 10 others for slightly different versions of reality, in one of which America and Canada are a single entity, and in another one of which, everyone has crab claws for hands! (Pete Buttigieg, John Delaney.) Also, I am endorsing Donald Trump, in the reality where he is a completely different man whom everyone would describe as “very not-racist.”

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I am glad I do not have to go to the voting booth and choose a single candidate. I will be voting 12 times, and I urge everyone else to do so, too. I hope this endorsement has been useful.