The Twins need to cut their payroll to the bare bone.

Front-office types need to go back to standing in line to receive their daily lump of coal for the pot-bellied stoves in their offices. Paper clips need to be properly requested, in triplicate, via the appropriate forms. Soap fragments from the clubhouse once again should be lumped together and brought to the executive washrooms.

And everyone needs to work by candlelight, circa 1999. Spend more money? No way. The Twins need to spend less.

Some people just don’t do well with money. The Twins, apparently, should be counted among them. When the organization was lean and scrappy, it fielded a solid, farm-grown team. One mistake could set the whole organization back, so we almost never saw a major mistake.

Veteran stars who became too expensive for the small-market Twins were swapped for legitimate prospects. Scouting and talent evaluation were paramount to success. Some called it the right way to do things; others called it the cheap way. We all were agreed it was the Twins’ way. And it was good enough for us.

Then came Target Field, a wonderful ballpark that also happened to be a cash cow. Suddenly, the payroll jumped by between $30 million and $40 million. That’s what ownership promised, and its intentions were good.

Everything went to hell. The Twins were like hillbillies who won the lottery. They didn’t know what to do with all the cash. So they bought shiny things. And they ploughed money into long-term contracts, some legit but some ill-advised. And suddenly, mistakes were popping up all over the place. These errors didn’t take down the ballclub right away. But after repeated goofs, well, here we are.

Now, the team is paying the price for getting absolutely zero for Johan Santana, the best pitcher in baseball at the time. It’s struggling with a rotation that is too expensive to simply discard. It’s suffering because of the trade of two young regulars for Delmon Young, who was such an expensive jerk that he became one of those guys everybody just wanted to see disappear. They got nothing for him. And on and on …

Terry Ryan came in to relieve Bill Smith. Ryan immediately misjudged the quality of his rotation. And I’m wondering if the Twins brought back the best tugboat captain in the harbor to run what has become an ocean liner. These little Rule 5 and waiver-wire moves look silly. But maybe Ryan just needs to get his sea legs under him again.

There also has been bad luck. Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau were signed to mega-contracts and quickly stopped producing because of injuries. People now are yelping. But if the Twins had let those two guys go, fans would have yelped even more loudly at the time: “Ownership is cheap!” You just can’t have it both ways.

Some want manager Ron Gardenhire fired. Fans always want the manager/coach fired when things go screwy. Sometimes they are right. But John McGraw couldn’t win with this rotation. This isn’t about finding a scapegoat.

Several pitchers seem incapable of making any sort of in-game adjustments, despite being coached to do so. Some of the hitters give away at-bats through lack of discipline. And sometimes certain guys on the bench seem more concerned with chatting up spectators than paying attention to the game. Somewhere along the way in the minor leagues, the system broke down. Players started showing up unpolished and unprepared. It has all come home to roost.

Maybe the money made it easy to try to take shortcuts, such as Tsuyoshi Nishioka. Perhaps the excess cash increased the urge to gamble – see Joel Zumaya. But it hasn’t been the same since the vault was opened and the payroll was significantly increased.

Solutions for this mess? None come to mind. I guess I’d draft every power arm out there, regardless of whether a kid knows where the ball is going. Enough of this pitch-to-contact stuff. I’d also start looking to the future, even if it means dipping down to Double-A.

So my outfield would consist of: Denard Span, Aaron Hicks and Joe Benson. My infield would be Brian Dozier at short, Morneau at first, Jamey Carroll at second or third and then either Alexi Casilla or Danny Valencia, whoever is in less of a funk at the time. Josh Willingham can DH. Mauer and Ryan Doumit catch. Ben Revere and Chris Parmelee are on the bench and ready to go.

Scott Diamond gets a shot at the rotation. So does Luke French, who has put up eye-popping numbers in Double-A. But they aren’t going to turn the team around. Anybody else does well down there this summer, call them on up and give ’em a chance.

Most important, the whole organization needs to tighten up. Everyone should pretend they are once again the poor stepchildren of major league baseball. When money was so tight, it was as if everyone was afraid to fail. Now it happens routinely.

Tom Powers can be reached at tpowers@pioneerpress.com