It’s easy for someone who doesn’t have a ‘strong personality‘ to confuse those who do, with something they’re not.

Those with a strong personality are not dominating or rude- you’re not being difficult or “crossing the line.” None of that reflects who you are, or what your personality is, at all. In fact, most strong people are giant balls of fluff- they’re really just kind-hearted softies.

But things get twisted because people with domineering personalities (those who refuse to back down when they are wrong, and won’t admit mistakes) give those with strong personalities (those who hold the other types accountable for their actions, words, and mistakes) a bad reputation. It’s not that you have to win, you’re just not willing to let others walk all over you whenever they please.

Sure, some people may be scared of you, but that’s because they don’t understand you.

How can you be so comfortable with yourself that you do not need anyone else to validate you?

Here are 7 signs you have a strong personality that may scare others:

1. You don’t tolerate excuses

Also called ‘accountability.’ You do not put up with excuses. If you have a strong personality, you aren’t going to listen to people whine and complain about what they can’t do, what has gone wrong, and why they can’t succeed. You’d rather spend your energy focusing on what you can do, what can be resolved, and what can be accomplished. Sure, there might be plenty of reasons why you can’t do something…but there are more reasons why you can.

2. You can’t stand small talk

Small talk is unbearable. You have a lot of ideas, so of course you don’t want to waste time talking about what people are wearing or who is dating whom, when you could be talking about things that matter and, oh I don’t know, maybe change the world.

Maybe you feel as though you are bad at making small talk. That’s actually not true. Anyone can do that. What’s really happening is you are feeling discomfort because small talk kills time and brain cells.

3. You walk away from insensitivity, idiocy, and willful ignorance

Domineering personalities stem from a lack of knowledge, and understanding. Strong personalities are developed by being thoughtful and well-informed. There is a massive difference between these two.

See, you have spent plenty of time and effort using your brain power for good. So you don’t tolerate people who make instant judgments about things they don’t know anything about. This very well might be your best quality- not because you could use your intellect to influence others, but you can use your knowledge to encourage them to think about what they say before they poison the air.

4. You listen to others

Sure, it sounds like a great thing that most people would appreciate. However, listening to people and giving them your honest advice can be terrifying to someone who is used to living their life in a box of conformity and shame.

5. You can live without the spotlight

If you’ve got a strong personality, then you do not need attention. So why do people who meet you think you are an attention hog? It’s because you have something besides a strong personality; you have a magnetic personality as well. People are just drawn to your openness and honesty. You don’t socialize because you have a dire need to- you do it because people need and want you around.

6. You are fearless

Actually, you are probably afraid of at least one thing. But there is a difference between your fears and the fears of others; your fears do not dictate how you will live your life.

7. You see insecurity as opportunity

We all have moments of insecurity. It’s what you do with those feelings that matter. For you, insecurity is an opportunity to improve. You know you’re far from perfect but you keep going. You continue to learn and evolve, despite the risk of looking like a fool. This is the definition of living…not merely existing.

It’s true, some people just aren’t going to like you. They think that you are difficult to be around. But what some perceive as difficult, others might see as challenging. You challenge other people to be the best version of themselves, and that’s not always a comfortable experience.

By Raven Fon