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THE persecution and career of the amazing revolutionary policing force that is Garda Commissioner Nóirín O’Sullivan has now come to an end following her announcement that she is to retire, unable to keep up with the insane demands of the job.

“They kept asking me questions about Garda stuff, which was a bit weird. If I had known this job meant I’d have to answer questions I’d never have taken it,” O’Sullivan confirmed in a statement confirming her retirement, going some way to letting the public know just how hard the job of Garda Commissioner can be.

With repeated questions being asked by the public, media and politicians regarding scandals and future reforms, insiders reveal there was a real danger the role of Commissioner could turn into something that could change policing in Ireland for the better.

“I heard she was asked 3 or 4 questions about how she would reform the gardaí, which somehow made it impossible to go about reforming the gardaí. I’m not a police expert, but you can see why she just had to immediately retire and begin to draw down her €90,000 a year pension,” shared one garda source.

“How was she expected to implement reforms and changes if people were asking her about the reforms, and how they were going to be implemented?”

Directly after retiring, a garda commissioner is required to hand over their baton, badge, and complete unwillingness to reform gardaí.

Responding to the news of the Commissioner’s retirement, which definitely isn’t a resignation, the government, which had confirmed its full confidence in O’Sullivan only last week, expressed their delight that every garda scandal and controversy was now over.