Anonymous asked:

How do you cope with acknowledging that there may be something really wrong with you? How do you not let a diagnosis define you?

Sometimes it’s hard! Especially when your disease stops you from working, or spending time with your friends, or working on hobbies, or, you know, all the other stuff you WANT to use to define yourself.

You guys know that I struggle with depression and anxiety. A “good day,” for me, is one when I can go outside without psyching myself up first. A “bad day” is one when I can’t make myself go outside at all. Sometimes I really want some M&Ms or something, but those are outside, so I don’t get any. It’s hard not to let that turn into the defining characteristic of my life.

But the way I think of it is like–okay, imagine there’s this person. They’re great. They’re smart, and funny, and they have interesting things to say; they’re just a wonderful person to have around.

Then you strap a 200 pound boulder to their back.

They’re still a wonderful person. They’re just a wonderful person with a 200 pound boulder on their back. That’s going to make a lot of things difficult for them! Like climbing stairs, or getting through doors, or going on second dates.

Some people will only see the boulder, too. They’ll be like, “Ugh, there goes Boulder Girl, holding up sidewalk traffic again.”

But not everyone is like that, and you don’t have to think of yourself like that. Yeah, the boulder is a big deal. It’s not like you’re ever going to forget it’s there. But there’s still a person under the boulder. You can be a good and interesting and funny person even though you have to deal with this burden.

It’s not fun, and I sure would like the boulder to go away, but I don’t feel like I’m any less valuable a human being for lugging this thing around, and neither are you.