1. Scream in your DEEPEST, "manliest" voice so that the doctor may mistake you for a man.

2. Or have your brother go into the ER complaining of pain and then when no one is looking switch places with him!

3. And if your brother is out of town wear a mask with his face.

4. Show up with an actual spear going through your chest.

5. Go back to school and acquire hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans JUST to become a doctor, so you can just diagnose yourself.

6. Arrive at the hospital by driving your car through the window like in the movies so that they know you’re serious.

7. Throw tampons at them until they take your severe menstrual pain seriously.

8. Smear your blood all over the hospital floor and spell out “I’m in pain."