APPLETON, WI—Acting quickly to induce vomiting, members of Hillary Clinton’s campaign staff confirmed Thursday that they forced Tim Kaine to drink syrup of ipecac after the Democratic vice presidential nominee ate an entire sheet of “I’m With Her” stickers. “We didn’t even notice Tim had gotten into the stickers until he had already swallowed at least 30 or 40 of them, so we called the poison control center and they recommended that we give him ipecac immediately,” said Clinton campaign aide Sarah Wattsford, adding that the Virginia senator had to be physically restrained after refusing to open his mouth for the medicine and then, on two successive dosing attempts, spitting the “yucky stuff” onto the floor. “It’s really our fault for not keeping a better eye on Tim. The stickers are bright blue and round and kind of look like candy. You turn around for just a second and the next thing you know, Tim’s just peeling them off the sheet and shoving them in his mouth.” At press time, the campaign staff was reportedly looking for a clean set of clothes for Kaine, who had vomited all over his shirt and pants.

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