With Geekly Redux, we revisit our childhood favorites and determine whether or not they hold up.

I was born in the very early 1980s. It was a fantastic time to grow up -Reagan was in the Oval Office, we had the NES, two Star Wars movies, and Thriller was on the radio. The cartoon game was on point at the time. We had G.I.Joe, Transformers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Rainbow Brite (I liked it, what about it?), and many more shows. Unlike anything that came before it, every cartoon was attached to a massive toy line. All my favorite shows had figures I could play with and create my own adventures at home.

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe ran from October 1983 to November 1985 with a whopping 130 episodes. There was also a spin-off series, two made-for-TV movies, Secret of the Sword and The He-Man/She-Ra Christmas Special, and even a live action movie in 1987, starring Dolph Lundgren (Frank Langella’s Skeletor was awesome, by the way). A reboot/sequel series titled The New Adventures of He-Man aired in 1990 and a full on reboot of the series by Mike Young Productions aired in 2002. He-Man also has the distinction of being the first syndicated show based on a toy line and, within its first year, was seen on TV in over 30 countries. Needless to say, He-Man was a cultural phenomenon and it was HUGE in the 1980s.

Like many shows of the time, there was a strong presence of Good vs Evil in well-defined sides, although this is likely a byproduct of the Reagan-era US=Good/Communism=Bad. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is the story of a young man (Good :D) who can transform to an identical man, only tanned and wearing less clothes while fighting against the the forces of evil led by Skeletor (Bad >:( ), the skull-faced sorcerer.

My dad was a member of the United States Air Force and we were stationed in Japan, where I was born. When He-Man started airing in Japan, my parents recorded every episode they could on our giant Beta-Max player (a precursor to the VCRs, for you kids that are too young to remember). As a baby barbarian, this was my favorite show. My brother and I repeatedly watched every episode.

I looked up to this golden mountain of man muscles as a shining example of what a powerful fur-underwear wearing hero should strive to be. He was right and just and helped those in need. Every episode ended with a PSA that taught children about inappropriate touching, don’t do drugs, and helping others. Every lesson reiterated the moral of the story we just watched.

I loved the art, the fantastical world shown with a mix of technology and magic. Everything seemed epic and grand. I can still hear the trumpets of the theme song in my head. I loved this show and idolized He-Man; I even dressed up as He-Man for Halloween in the second grade. Pretty embarrassing thinking about a skinny little Asian kid pretending to be a built blond barbarian.

Fast forward nearly three decades. I bought the DVDs of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe a while back but haven’t had the time to just sit and enjoy this old classic. Now that I have a baby barbarian of my own, I decided to put my son on my lap and share with him the show I loved when I was his age.

So, does it hold up?

No. Not at all.

The show’s opening tells you everything you need to know about the characters. Prince Adam, was given the Sword of Power by the Sorceress that could transform him into He-Man, the Most Powerful Man in the Universe and his talking green tiger companion, Cringer, into Battle Cat, the Most Powerful Cat in the Universe. Together they team up with Man-at-Arms, his daughter Teela and a few other “Masters” like Ram-Man, Roboto, the space cop, Zodak. They fight against the boneheaded Skeletor and his minions: Evil-lyn, Trapjaw, Beastman and Merman.

I remembered this show being amazing. It was a tent pole of my childhood. It taught me things and shaped who I was. My first Dungeons & Dragons character was a Lawful Good Barbarian because of He-Man! As I watched it, I realized that this was shit. It was utter shit. There was He-Man, there was Skeletor…there was Orko…ugh…there was Santa Claus? Why the hell was Santa Claus in a He-Man cartoon? They celebrated Christmas on Eternia? What the fuck.

The show was not anywhere near as good as I remembered and my nostalgia for the property was better than the show itself. It was horribly animated – the animation was so extremely repetitive that you could make a drinking game out of it. I do understand that this was an effective cost cutting measure, but it became hugely distracting.

The show was also horribly written, which is insane to me because many of the episodes were written by Paul Dini who created Harley Quinn for Batman: The Animated Series and J. Michael Straczynski who created Babylon 5. Sometimes the adventures make no sense. In the episode “Day of the Machines”, Prince Adam turns into He-Man to get rid of a computer virus. He-Man even asks “How do we get inside the computer to fight it?”. I don’t know He-Man, maybe download up-to-date anti-virus software? Call the Geek Squad?

I couldn’t finish the series. I got through the first disc. You’d think this show was made for children! I put the DVDs back on the shelf and I wept and after a few short therapy sessions, I moved on.

Did your son like it?

Yeah, but he’s a dumb baby. What does he know about good cartoons?

Is there any hope for the He-Man Franchise?

Yes.

In 2002, there was a new He-Man and the Masters of the Universe cartoon series by Mike Young Productions and designs by The Four Horsemen, a talented group of toy designers. This show aired on Cartoon Network while I was too busy being a cool and hip early 20-something year old adventurer.

I recognized some of the voice actors: Cam Clarke, who previously played the original Leonardo from the 1987 iteration of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Kaneda from AKIRA, played He-Man/Prince Adam while Garry Chalk, who you may remember as Optimus Primal from the excellent Transformers: Beast Wars and Beast Machines, played Teela’s father, Man-at-Arms. The talent behind this show was top notch.

While this show was very obviously still designed to sell toys, one thing Mike Young Productions did differently was that they told an amazing story. He-Man was no longer just a tanned, naked Prince Adam, he physically looked different and was someone who wasn’t sure he could live up to being He-Man. Skeletor was kinda scary now and a bit psychotic instead of a bumbling foil for our hero. Evil-lyn had daddy issues (her dad is called the Faceless One. He’s a badass). Characters had motivations and growth. Sometimes the good guys did not so good things to get ahead. This is the show my rose-tinted nostalgia remembered from my childhood. I believe that it is an extremely underrated show. If you hadn’t seen it before and liked He-Man growing up, look for this on DVD. It’s well worth a watch.