FOREIGNERS have once again ruined cricket with their incessant showing-off, it has been confirmed.

What had begun as a perfectly nice game between England and a different country descended quickly into a disgrace as the foreign people competed openly.

A spokesman for English cricket said: “It’s a shame the unpleasant foreigners have done this to cricket. I’m just going to come right out and say it – I think they’ve been practising.

“We invented cricket as a way of channeling our unnatural desires. It was never supposed to become a sport, especially not one that people are good at.

“Anyway it’s completely ruined now so it’s best if we all just stop.”

England is now preparing to un-invent cricket and has asked all the foreign cricketing nations to stop playing immediately and return the equipment to Lord’s.