It is the 10th day of school and I have already cried twice in front of my students. No, I wasn’t crying because of stress or the giant stack of essays waiting to be graded (though I’m sure those days are coming.) No, I just had two extremely emotional moments with my students during the kick off of our narrative unit when I sat us all in a circle and asked everyone to take 2 minutes to tell a story. Our prompt was “Tell about a time when your perspective changed.”

I do this activity every year, and every year I am blown away by the respect and kindness I see when the students share their stories with each other. It is a process adapted from Junebug Productions and lasts two class periods, and involves storytelling, writing, discussion, and a crash course in empathy. I have had students talk about their parents divorces, their first experiences with death, drugs, and several students have “come out” during this activity. When my community experienced a devastating flood in 2016, we told our stories about loss and fear. We then took our oral stories and turned them into written narratives. It is always an enlightening experience, and has always served as my “ultimate community building” activity at the beginning of the year. Most students love it, but there are always those in my class that struggle with how personal these class sessions can get. To combat this, each year I facilitate a conversation with the class about why it is not a bad thing to feel vulnerable or emotional when we tell or hear stories, and how moments of discomfort and vulnerability can lead to realization and empathy. We then spend the rest of the year using our own narratives and experiences to connect to the experiences and stories of the characters in our texts.

During our discussions, I quickly noticed a trend: my female students were dominating the conversations about vulnerability. The young women in my classes were always the first to tell an “emotional” story, and were always the first to offer sympathy or support when other students got emotional. While it was wonderful to see such empathy from these young women, it bothered me that I still had yet to create an environment in which the young men felt safe enough to open up. Every single year I wrote in my personal reflections about how this or that young man shut down in the middle of our group discussion, or how some of the young men in my class wrote about how much they did not enjoy the activity and why they felt we should skip the “feelings” stuff in our next unit.

It wasn’t until I heard a student start his sentence with “I know that talking about this is going to make me a sissy or whatever, but…” that I realized what was happening in my classes. I wasn’t really listening to those young men when they were explaining to me why they didn’t like the activity. This wasn’t about me or my class or the other students’ stories. In a world of “man up” and “boys don’t cry”, my male students did not feel like they were allowed to be vulnerable. Emotional moments during story circles were things they associated with femininity and womanhood, and when you’re a teen boy, it can be confusing and embarrassing to feel during class. This isn’t to say that young women don’t feel this way, merely that society does not punish us for expressing emotion. These experiences have made me realize how important it is for me as a teacher and as a woman to make space for vulnerability and conversations about toxic masculinity in my classes and life. Part of that is, of course, selecting novels that have male characters that shake up ideas of masculinity and manhood for my students. Representation matters, and we must read widely and diversely while allowing space for students to connect their own experiences to these representations. So, with that in mind, here are 6 young adult novels that I will be keeping in my classroom library and recommending to students/friends this year and encouraging them to examine how society’s expectations of masculinity play into the story.

Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo Anaya

This is a coming of age novel about a young boy, Antonio Marez y Luna. Antonio forms a bond with Ultima, a curandera (one who heals with herbs and magic) and she helps him through a summer of self exploration. As Antonio journeys into manhood, he must face his parents’ expectations while coming to terms with his own identity. I teach this novel right after The Handmaid’s Tale in my AP Literature class, and it never fails to make students dig deep into representations of masculinity and their own experiences with societal expectations.

Grasshopper Jungle By Andrew Smith

This young adult novel sci fi follows two high school boys, Austin and Robby, while they fight for their lives during the apocalypse. Smith gives us a grim comedy that tackles sexuality, bullying, and violence set against giant praying mantises and small time America. It’s a bit raunchy, but beloved for its Vonnegut-esque style. While I won’t be teaching this in my classroom, I will be recommending to my sci fi kids.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe #1) By Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Sáenz gives us a weird 80’s throwback as we follow two Mexican-American boys as they struggle with their racial identity, gender roles, and sexuality. This novel represents love in such a tender and realistic way. Another reason to recommend this book is that Lin Manuel Miranda (creator of Hamilton and MacArthur Fellow) narrates the audiobook version of the novel.

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian By Sherman Alexie,Ellen Forney (Illustrator)

I have struggled with this book in the heaviest of ways. I have taught this book twice, and each time was rewarded with rich, complex dialogue from students and not to mention it is an absolute joy of a read. This is complicated by the recent sexual harassment allegations against Sherman Alexie. I have decided that it is better to openly talk with students about Alexie’s life and what it means when our heroes disappoint us. What does it mean that a book we like was written by someone that is accused of sexual harassment? Alexie and Forneys collaboration tells the story of Junior, a native boy born with hydrocephalus and a talent for drawing cartoons. It tackles Juniors experiences with poverty, alcohol, toxic masculinity, sexuality, and familial love. It is a rollercoaster of a narrative, but must be read with Alexie’s history and current allegations as part of the experience.

Tradition by Brendan Kiely

Tradition is a high school survival story. It follows Jules and Jamie as they navigate the toxic rape culture of their elite prep school. This book is necessary and relevant and so timely in the time of #metoo. It explores platonic and sexual relationships, and what it means to have class privilege.

Wandering Son, Vol. 1 (Wandering Son #1) By Takako Shimura,Matt Thorn (Translator)

Wandering Son is a Japanese manga about a 5th grade student named Shuichi Nitori, a transgender girl, and Shuichi’s friend Yoshino Takatsuki, a transgender boy. The series walks us through their experiences with gender identity, friendship, and puberty. It is a sweet story with wonderful illustrations and G-rated content.