89. Lesson: it is unwise to opt for XXS in American Apparel if you are anything other than extra, extra small.

90. The sweaters will be more forgiving.

91. They're so nice!

92. But I can't shake the feeling that ultimately, they're just sweatshirts.

93. And I've persuaded myself that they're the nicest sweatshirts ever so I won't feel guilty about splurging on them.

94. When really, I only like the truffle one all that much.

95. But that one feels too expensive to buy on its own, so I want to buy all three to save £20.

96. Even though I'd end up spending a lot more money than the truffle one would have cost on its own.

97. I cannot afford this.

98. And even if I could, £40 is a stupid amount of money to pay for a sweatshirt.

99. I could buy a Ryanair flight to another corner of Europe for that much.

100. I'll put them back and forget about them.

101. Mourn discreetly.

102. And move. The fuck. On.

103. Where's that magenta velvet miniskirt on the sale rack?

104. Fuck, someone took it.

105. I hate you, whoever you are.