When a speech has been agonised over for as long as David Cameron's speech on Europe, one is allowed the assumption that the language is explicit and chosen carefully. "I never want us to pull up the drawbridge and retreat from the world," he said. That he sees Britain at the end of a drawbridge is the saddest and most telling aspect of his statement. And as an increasing number of commentators deliver the verdict that his posturing risks doing precisely that, what of the millions of people stuck on the wrong side of the moat?

I speak of people like me: Europeans who have chosen to make a life for themselves in the UK. Will we get a vote? Do we get a say in this issue, which affects our lives more directly than any other group in this country?

Every indication is that we will be excluded from the vote, just like we are excluded from general elections. Every reference to the debate is about "British people" deciding what relationship they wish to have with the EU; not people living in Britain. I listened agog to question after question, statement after statement, tweet after tweet, all of which were completely silent on this issue.

This was in marked contrast with recent discussions on the Scottish independence referendum, where the relevant voting constituency was one of the top and most hotly contested issues. That discussion recognised the importance of who should get a say. It recognised the possibly competing interests of Scots living in Scotland, non-Scots living there, Scots living elsewhere.

It would be tempting to launch into a vain – in both senses of the word – explanation of how many years I have lived here, how I've worked hard, always paid tax, never claimed a benefit, love cricket; to justify myself as deserving of a voice. But that is not the issue and I have no wish to pit myself against others who have been here less time or hate cricket or are currently unemployed. We all deserve to be heard.

Estimates of how many non-British Europeans live in the UK vary. The latest reliable census points to just over 1.6 million of us – fewer than half of the 4 million foreign nationals who live in the UK. The fluidity of the data is in itself an indication that "free movement of people" within the union was never meant to be seen as migration – rather as a flexible arrangement beneficial to everyone, by expanding employment horizons and opportunity. I – like many others – thought this "deal" was for good, when I came to the UK from Greece in 1990 and decided this beautiful country suited me so much, I chose to make it my home. Then a prime minister, under political pressure both from his own and other parties, stepped up to the podium and made an announcement about a decision that has the potential to turn my life upside-down and in which I get no say.

One would have to go back to the days before universal suffrage to identify a larger group so stereotyped and reviled and so excluded from a decision that affects it so directly. We are your colleagues and lovers, your friends and neighbours. We go through our lives trying to do out very best, just like you, to carve ourselves a corner of happiness. We are told daily by this government that we are undesirables.

This leaves someone like me in the unenviable position of having a stark choice. Either I wait quietly and hope it all blows over, or I go through the difficult, expensive and, at times, bewildering process of applying for British citizenship. The process costs many hundreds of pounds (a friend some years ago paid a total of roughly £800), involves citizenship tests and oaths of allegiance and, for many who come from countries that do not permit dual nationality, giving up their original provenance.

And what of British people living elsewhere in Europe – a conservatively estimated 1.4 million of them (looking at only the top five countries of choice)? Do they deserve a say? Less than Brits who live in the UK? More than me?

Meanwhile, the big white continental elephant in the room is the idea that all this has nothing to do with xenophobia and an instinctive dislike of immigrants. Eric Pickles recently wilfully conflated the issue of "households in which English is not the first language", like mine, and "households in which nobody can speak any English". Recent polls show consistently that the surge in Ukip support is about immigration much more than Europe.

The issue has become politically toxic and nobody will speak up for people like me. A leading progressive commentator told me that my insistence on this issue was "strawman schtick", much less important than welfare and the NHS.

Yet problems must be assessed against solutions. The solution to this one is incredibly simple: a vote for residents on the electoral roll, exactly like in MEP elections. The arguments against are rooted in the same misconception that plagues the debate on prisoners voting; that a vote is a right, rather than a civic responsibility. The arguments in favour spring out of a desire for more democratic decisions, which both Cameron and Ukip's Nigel Farage claim is their aim.

Some always get trampled on the road to electoral victory. This time, it might just be me and 1.6 million like me. Friends, lovers, colleagues, neighbours.