August 12, 2014

It had been almost 5 years since Richard had met with Robin, and a interesting time for one at that. For the past two years Richard had been plagued by chronic depression. This dark new perspective on life had made Richard’s life much more difficult than anything he had previously gone through. This meeting would be much different from the last time, when both he and Robin had been living simpler, more optimistic lives. They were to meet at 4:30 PM near the old statue they had frequented in their hey-days. The time was 4:22 PM and Richard was the first to arrive.

Richard and Robin had always been a odd couple of people. Both were exceedingly smart, but whose passions varied wildly. Richard had always been obsessed with the pursuit of knowledge and understanding. He passionately chased after new experiences and would devour information from any source he could find whether it be book, newspaper, person, or experience itself. Robin on the other hand had always been obsessed about control and power. He fervently trained himself to handle all manner of people, and with learning to manage them, he would attempt to persuade them to his way of thinking. For Richard, this was just too heartless, and the thought of doing such things was enough to make him cringe.

Despite these differences, Richard and Robin had got along quite well, better than one would have expected. On one hand, Richard was forever on guard around Robin, and whilst doing so, he would incessantly be analyzing him, trying to uncover the motives which seemed forever hidden from his understanding. Similarly, Robin was always trying to understand and control Richard, tweaking his techniques ever slightly, looking for weakness and chance to gain ever more power. It was a dark rivalry to be certain, but one which both were deeply aware of.

The time was now 4:31 PM, and Robin was walking jauntily towards their decided meeting point with two coffees in hand. Why hadn’t he thought of that, mused Richard to himself. Robin was always more aware of the social subtleties when dealing with people. Something which could be learned, believed Richard.

“Well, well, well… How are you doing my friend? You are looking great! You must be working out.” Greeted Robin as he handed the coffee over.

“You know as well as I do, that is not the case. But I will take the compliment anyways. By the way, thanks for the coffee, I wish I could offer you something. Oh wait! I have gum for afterwards, if you would like some.”

“Sure! Cinnamon flavoured? You know that’s my favourite,” he chuckled.

“No, just plain old mint, as you know that is mine. Some sort of polar blast or some such name. Essentially, more menthol.”

“Oh well, I guess that will have to do. So, what have you been up to these years? Success, women, money? Or is that just me?”

Richard paused, knowing this was something Robin was always trying to do. Impress his importance onto those around him, not however, looking for acknowledgement, as much as he was looking for how such a comment was received. With Robin, even silence was as important, if not more so than praise. But Richard wasn’t about to flounder to this, so he chose his words carefully.

“No, most definitely not. Success is for those who are dissatisfied with their current predicaments. Money is merely a measuring stick for how much impotance a man feels about himself, and as for women. Well, so far I have yet to find one who doesn’t value those two things less than me, so no to that as well.”

Robin laughed full and hearty, and managed somehow without taking a breath to squeeze out a few words to accompany it, “You always did have a weird set of values. Principled, very principled! But tell me, do your principles get you places, or are they more like trophies you put on your shelves when you have important company over?”

“Only you, Robin, put up accolades and achievements when bringing company by. I prefer to live my principles, not show them off.”

“Please, your very statements contradict you. But I also know what you mean, and I approve.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Well, how about I explain it to you then. Come on, lets find a better place to relax, how about over by those couches next to the window? Hurry! I think those two over by the doors are thinking the same thing. Follow me”

After a quick jog over the couches, Robin turned back to Richard and placed the tips of his fingers together, looking pensive, or perhaps the look was more of judgement. Richard could not quite decide.

“I like you Richard,” Robin began sincerely, “Do you know why?”

“No.”

“I like you because you are the only person I have ever met who is more complex than me. You know me, you know my goals, you know I use people, but yet you hang around me and enjoy my company none-the-less. When I try to use you, I fail. I never fail except with you. You somehow manage to escape by efforts, and you know it, but I also escape yours.”

“Okay… I am following”

“I know you are. You never miss a beat, and of my moves you see them clearly when most others are blind and naive. You have such ability to do as I do, but you upright seem incapable of doing so. You have so much ability and yet you have no follow-through. Your form is terrible, but your potential is massive. What do I have to do to unleash it? Tell me, because I do not know.”

“Neither do I. Otherwise I might have done so a long time ago.”

“Exactly, you do not even understand yourself. You are too complex to be understood. I bet no one, not a single person, understands you. And that is a shame because if one could understand you… oh boy! the insights into human nature that could be learned. I pity you, Richard. I really do.”

“And what about you? Do you understand yourself then?”

“Yes! Of course I do. I know I want power, and I want control, and I want the ability to never be forced to do anything I do not wish. I want God’s power, that is what I want. I can get almost anything I want, did you know that, Richard? For example, I recently was gifted a brand new car from an acquaintance of mine. An acquaintance, Richard! He barely knew me! He was too dull to see what I was doing to him, and before long he had given me all I wanted from him. See what you could do with this ability? Why do you refuse to do it?”

Richard sat there, thinking. He thought long and hard, and a minute of silence must have passed before he knew what to say. Albeit, knew was probably not the most accurate term. He felt the words, and as they came out. He only then, upon hearing them, knew what he was saying.

“I fear the same ability you praise, Robin. I see it there everyday, and it terrifies me. I know what I can do, I see the power, and I know that if I do not choose to hold it back through my own personal sacrifice of happiness, that I will inevitably do horrible, horrible things. Almost every minute I am aware of the individual power I have, and the utmost effort is expended by me in order to ensure it never comes to a head.

"Yes, yes… Continue,” said Robin.

“I know I can control people, I know I can get almost anything I want, I know the madness of which I am formed. I am scared shitless of it. I refuse it to be my essence, I refuse it to be my soul, and I refuse it to ever escape my control!”

“But Richard, if you were to harness it, you could be so powerful! Do you not wish the power?”

“I have the power, I do not need to wish it. At any moment I could do the worst things imaginable, but did you ever think, how hard it is to do good in this world? Have you ever thought about that, Robin?”

“Yes, and I chose to ignore that small obstacle. Good is relative. Not absolute, do not live life paying heed to relative phenomena. For if you pay too much attention to relationships like that, you will lose sight of your place within the world. You will lose sight of reality. Reality is different from every perspective, do not destroy yours by focusing on others’ interpretations. Live your reality, make it yours, and once you have found your reference point, you will cease to live a relative life, and will beginning living a true life, an absolute life.”

“I disagree, I believe that seeing all the perspectives in life allows one to live the truest life. It allows one to finally know the consequences of the actions before I make them. It gives me insight into the true nature of things.”

“Oh, how Buddhist of you, Richard. But allow me one last thought: If you are forever looking in at reality, jumping from perspective to perspective, how then can you ever properly choose to jump in with so many options before you? You won’t be able to, for you will give up your place in it. You will cease to be a participant and forever outsource your soul’s purpose as that of the audience. Not living, just reacting to the true actors of life. I am one of those actors, and Richard, you know as well as I do, you hate reacting to me.”

With that said, Robin turned around and began walking towards the door, but after a few steps he quickly turned around, and reaching out asked, “By the way, before I leave, could I grab that piece of gum? I know its mint, but I really want it.” At the request, Richard paused. He didn’t know what to do.

THE END

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