When I was asked by reddit to describe myself for the 2013 Secret Santa, I wanted to appear humble but also let my Secret Santa know what I'm all about. I'm a simple man who likes pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast foods.

Luckily for me a personal hero of mine, Ron Swanson, also has these same qualities. From this simple phrase, my Secret Santa has delivered unto me the perfect gift.

Gianna (gml3289) you are an amazing woman, I hope you are a pretty, dark-haired woman because right now I like you quite a bit.

Thank you and merry Christmas.

Jon (guyseriously) Bolarinho