Real World Geek World

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. A "year" is the standard unit of time Geeks use for all project development estimates.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. Geeks can type faster than the average human can think.

Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head." Geek is Portuguese for "pencil neck."

It is impossible to lick your elbow. While possible, it's not recommended to lick any body part of a Geek.

23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts. 32% of all Geek keyboard faults are caused by a build up of doughnut particles, nose hairs and Frito crumbs stuck between the keys.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. Exposure to a Geeks workstation for just an hour can reduce your lifespan by 2 years.

13% of Americans actually believe that some parts of the moon are made of cheese. Geeks at NASA loaded a 1-year supply of Triskuits on the first Apollo mission, just in case.

The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it. An average Geek's only source of protein is a chocolate bar.

In Alaska, it is legal to shoot bears. However, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited. In corporate America, it is legal to fire a Geek, but the only known way to actually kill a Geek is to place them on a remote island where the natives have never heard of the word "wi-fi."

In the course of a lifetime the average person will grow 2 meters of nose hair. In the course of a week, the average Geek can accumulate almost 2 oz of navel lint.

Over 2,500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people. Each day, over 10 million average men and women are reduced to tears when trying to understand written or verbal communication from a Geek.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. Slamming your keyboard against your desk only burns 75 calories an hour, but is much more rewarding.

There are more than 1,000 chemicals in a cup of coffee. Of these, only 26 have been tested, and half caused cancer in rats. The chemical makeup of a Geeks digestive system has been proven to cause rats to spontaneously combust.

80% of people eat their corn on-the-cob in circles rather than side to side. Geeks were excluded from this study as eating fresh fruits or vegetables of any kind was found to be highly unlikely.

Floccinaucinihilipilification, the declaration of an item being useless, is the longest non-medical term in the English language. Howthe*%$@?!!doyouexpect-metodevelopthisinonemonth, is the longest non-technical word Geeks use to express their emotion after receiving technical specs from the marketing department.

Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel, "Gadsby", which contains over 50,000 words - none of them with the letter E! A Geek once wrote an entire piece of code using only zeros.

The word "modem" is a contraction of the words "modulate, demodulate." Webster defines the word Geek as: A carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken (no, seriously - we didn't make this one up!)

There were no squirrels on Nantucket until 1989. There were no Geeks in the Bahamas until the annual Star Trek convention was held there in 1995.

Giraffes have no vocal cords. Geeks have no sense of fashion whatsoever.

In Chinese, the words for crisis and opportunity are the same. In ancient Egyptian, the word for genius and socially awkward is Geek.