I was at the doctor’'s office lying flat on my back with cold jelly on my slight bump of a tummy, hearing a second heartbeat emanate from within me. The sonogram made it real. When I was told it was a boy, my whole life flashed before my eyes. I felt accountable for the choices I’ve made. I have to explain myself to my son one day. Here’s what I’d say:

My Son,

As I write this, you haven’t yet entered the world, not due to be born until mid-December. By the time you read this you will be old enough to browse the Internet, old enough to like girls, and old enough to know the name “Aurora Snow.” I’ve dreaded this day for many years now and my hope is that you find this article before accidentally stumbling upon any pictures or videos that show your mom in a way she never intended for you to see. Let me explain.