LEIGH SALES, PRESENTER: Here is John Clarke and Bryan Dawe.

BRYAN DAWE: Good evening over there.

JOHN CLARKE: Good evening, Bryan. Good evening.

BRYAN DAWE: Comment tale vous.

JOHN CLARKE: Oh, tres bien. Tres bien, thankyou very much.

BRYAN DAWE: And bonjour to you.

JOHN CLARKE: The bonnest of jours to you, yes.

BRYAN DAWE: How's the weather over there.

JOHN CLARKE: Oh, magnifique. Manifique, Bryan.

BRYAN DAWE: OK, well perhaps we might speak English now.

JOHN CLARKE: Sorry, OK. You want to speak English? Hang on a minute.

BRYAN DAWE: Yeah, I've run out of my French, so.

JOHN CLARKE: OK, I just get rid of this.

BRYAN DAWE: What is it?

JOHN CLARKE: It's my auntie's pen.

BRYAN DAWE: So where have you put it?

JOHN CLARKE: On the table.

BRYAN DAWE: How is it over there? I mean, it's a tough gig having to watch the tennis in Paris, isn't it?

JOHN CLARKE: Oh, well, I haven't been in Paris all the time, Bryan. I've actually been down in the country last week.

BRYAN DAWE: Whereabouts did you go?

JOHN CLARKE: I went down to Avignon.

BRYAN DAWE: What happens down in - where was it?

JOHN CLARKE: In Avignon.

BRYAN DAWE: In Avignon.

JOHN CLARKE: There's a bridge down there and people dance on it.

BRYAN DAWE: Oh, they dance on the bridge?

JOHN CLARKE: Yeah, there's a bridge over the river in the town and they dance on the bridge.

BRYAN DAWE: Up and down on the bridge?

JOHN CLARKE: No, no, no, not so much up and down, Bryan, as probably around.

BRYAN DAWE: Oh, so they dance in a circle?

JOHN CLARKE: A circle! That's exactly right, Bryan; they go round.

BRYAN DAWE: Good heavens.

JOHN CLARKE: Mmm.

BRYAN DAWE: Now, back to Roland Garros. How are the Australians going over there?

JOHN CLARKE: Oh, well, a p retty mixed week, Bryan, as you probably saw.

BRYAN DAWE: Yeah, we lost Turnbull.

JOHN CLARKE: No, no, no.

BRYAN DAWE: No?

JOHN CLARKE: No, he staged an enormous comeback late last night. He was down love-five in the fifth, and he got up and won it eight-six.

BRYAN DAWE: Oh, that's terrific. That's very good news. Yeah.

JOHN CLARKE: Fantastic result and he's still there in the doubles.

BRYAN DAWE: Oh, who with?

JOHN CLARKE: Well that varies a bit. He played in the first round with Tim Flannery, he played with Greg Hunt in the second round. He's playing with ...

BRYAN DAWE: So he's going nicely?

JOHN CLARKE: Oh, yes, he's going very well, although, you know, if he keeps going the way he is, he's gonna meet himself in the semi-finals.

BRYAN DAWE: Dear me. What about Gillard?

JOHN CLARKE: Gillard's gone, Swan's gone.

BRYAN DAWE: Oh, really? Combet?

JOHN CLARKE: Combet's still there.

BRYAN DAWE: Hockey?

JOHN CLARKE: Hockey's gone.

BRYAN DAWE: Yeah. Tony Abbott?

JOHN CLARKE: Tony Abbott's not here; he's pulled out on Tuesday.

BRYAN DAWE: He pulled out?

JOHN CLARKE: Yeah, he not playing.

BRYAN DAWE: How come?

JOHN CLARKE: Well, he says it's not on grass.

BRYAN DAWE: Well of course it's not on grass. It's clay, it's the French Open.

JOHN CLARKE: Yeah, well, he says it's not the French Open and it's not on grass.

BRYAN DAWE: Well Wimbledon's on grass.

JOHN CLARKE: He says Wimbledon's not on grass and Wimbledon's not Wimbledon either, he reckons.

BRYAN DAWE: Oh, come on, everyone knows Wimbledon's on grass

JOHN CLARKE: Oh, he reckons - a lotta crap, he reckons.

BRYAN DAWE: So he won't be playing ...

JOHN CLARKE: No, he won't be playing, he's out.

BRYAN DAWE: Great opportunities for the other players though, isn't it?

JOHN CLARKE: Yeah, but, you know, where are we get them? Who's got any form?

BRYAN DAWE: Yeah, be nice with some form.

JOHN CLARKE: We gotta get the job done here. The quality of Australian players is simply not what it should be.

BRYAN DAWE: What about Scott Morrison?

JOHN CLARKE: Well, no, you've gotta hit the ball, Bryan.

BRYAN DAWE: That's true, yeah.

JOHN CLARKE: It's a ball game.

BRYAN DAWE: Yeah, yeah, that's true.

JOHN CLARKE: You can't just go out there and set fire to yourself.

BRYAN DAWE: And whistle.

JOHN CLARKE: Can't do either.

BRYAN DAWE: Yeah. Alright, well you have a good time over there and thanks for your time and ...

JOHN CLARKE: Merci.

BRYAN DAWE: Merci.

JOHN CLARKE: Yeah, merci beaucoup.

BRYAN DAWE: Merci - yes, whatever that is.

JOHN CLARKE: That's the term you're looking for. Oh, saden plazia.