Pope Vows to Keep Child Molestation to Minimum from Now On

Addressing on Thursday the latest wave of sexual abuse scandals to have rocked the Catholic Church, Pope Francis vowed to keep the molestation of children by members of the clergy to a minimum going forward.

"The failure of ecclesiastical authorities to remedy these terrible crimes is a source of justifiable public outrage and a shame upon the Church," the pope remarked. "And from now on we promise to keep it down."

Attending a Mass in Dublin, Ireland, Francis later answered an outcry from parishioners demanding more than just a reduction in child abuse within the Church, but it's comprehensive eradication.

"That would be nice, but let's be reasonable," he said. "I mean, come on."

Scoffing, Francis went on to explain the types of people the clergy attract.

"Some of these people are real freaks," he said. "And they're liars. You have to understand, it's not like these guys mention during the interview that they're pedophiles. It's not like they say, 'Right, my biggest weaknesses are professional networking, effective time management, and oh yeah, raping kids."

The pope also briefly referenced his nuns.

"Don't get me started," he said.