The Gameday crew recently said Kyle Field is “not intimidating,” and the Aggie Internet has been debating it ever since. But it’s time to stop asking questions, and start coming up with answers. How do we fix this? How do we make Kyle Field a place all opponents fear? Let’s brainstorm, people.

Bring back the bats

Kyle Field was one home to a sizable number of Mexican Free Tail bats. The bats moved elsewhere following the stadium renovation, but it’s time they came home to the Hate Barn. It’s hard to focus on reading a defense with the constant smell of guano and underlying threat of rabies.

Revamped signage

Even our fonts are too nice! Throw some skulls on the facade to up the creepy factor and lets’s make that “welcome a bit more ominous, shall we?

Perma-swaying press box

That’ll stop the press from saying opponents feel too comfortable at Kyle

Parsons Mounted Cavalry, but with rhinos

I don’t know why I am even having to provide a description here. It’s rhinos, guys. Rhinos.

Undead Reveille Army

Visiting fans often think the way we honor our former mascots is touching and cute. Well touching and cute don’t cause false starts! You know what would? A small army of undead collies waiting for you as soon as you get to the sticks. Sorry Revs, but your service isn’t quite over yet.

The floor is literally lava

Every game will feel like a 2:30 September kickoff.

Pepsi. Pepsi everywhere.

Pepsi-only soda fountains. Pepsi dogs. Nachos with Pepsi sauce. Hot pretzels where the rock salt is dehydrated Pepsi. And everyone’s favorite, Pepsi brisket!