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Adderall and advertisers' chickens had come home to roost. Bob felt from feline millennials the transmissions of Instagrams blitzingly blazing from all directions ... No one spoke to anyone, and when they did, it was more about those anthropomorphic arrows than it was the natural air of organically human traverse ... An age group so lost to letters and steeped in transactional sex, it seemed of them that they distinguished little between an active orgasm and an acted one.

Wow, sick burn. Penn careens from "selfies are dumb" to two paragraphs on gun control to a brief aside on why hunting is bad to long stretches during which nothing happens and no point is made. It's as if Penn thought that slam poetry was the result of getting one's penis slammed in a car door.

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He compares people who buy stuff (nothing in particular, just stuff) to sheep, and then, in case you somehow weren't getting it, declares: "BAHHH-BAHHH-BILDERBERG." What do you have to say about marketing, Sean? "Branding is being! Branding is being! The algorithm of modern binary existentialism." He even talks about ice cream trucks like he can't get through a single conversation without bragging about his IQ: "The music of an ice cream truck sells sweetness, but its wares are cold and fattening." But it's Trump and his voters where Penn is at his least elegant:

Between the id and the superego, the sheep had traded a love of their own children for the chance to cry, "Look at me! I'm a pisser on a tree!" Ouch goes the human heart. Out comes the orator's brain-fart, this Jesus of Jonestown, this blind man to Newtown, spits bile aplenty, to bitch us all down.

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So many words haven't been used to say so little since Ayn Rand was working. The greatest insight Penn can muster up is calling Trump "Mein Drumpf" and "Mr. Landlord," before declaring "Sir, I challenge you to duel. Tweet me, bitch. I dare you." My cat has stepped on my keyboard and accidentally sent tweets that are more politically insightful. And it gets worse, because ...