This is billed as a buddy cop style story in a Lord of the Rings style fantasy world. I do not disagree with my fellow reviewers as that is pretty much what we get with this story. It is a little like the book version of the Netflix movie Bright. Only without any of the stuff that make Bright good and fun to watch!!!



There was nothing intrinsically wrong with the world Lucas created. The scale was not large as the action took place in a single city but I've never had an issue with small scale fa

This is billed as a buddy cop style story in a Lord of the Rings style fantasy world. I do not disagree with my fellow reviewers as that is pretty much what we get with this story. It is a little like the book version of the Netflix movie Bright. Only without any of the stuff that make Bright good and fun to watch!!!



There was nothing intrinsically wrong with the world Lucas created. The scale was not large as the action took place in a single city but I've never had an issue with small scale fantasy when it is done right. The populace was a mix of humans, dwarfs, elves, and orcs which is where all the Lord of the Rings comparisons obviously originated from. This sort of old school fantasy world make up is not my favourite but many authors have pulled it off well enough. The problem with the world Lucas created here was that he decided not just to keep the old school fantasy creatures he also kept the racism and misogyny that is rampant in books like Lord of the Rings. Which was super disappointing to say the least. The one spin we got was the the elves in this tale were sexual deviants who viewed consent in much the same as your average serial rapist. I could have lived without this fresh new take on the elven race!



I know what you guys are thinking: Gavin has it all wrong. This is actually a story offering a bit of scathing social commentary on issues like racism, misogyny, violence, and abuse of power. If only, my friends, if only. I'm afraid Lucas was 100% serious as there was not a bit if satire in sight! I actually had to pause to check this was published in 2017 and not 1917!



There was also zero humour to be had in general which was another big flaw in my eyes. All the best buddy cop movies are comedies so to have one devoid of humour was a strange choice.



Our "heroic" duo were actually supposed to be likeable characters that reader could emotionally invest in and root for throughout the story. Mind-boggling really when the most likeable of them, Rem, a young runaway human noble, was an incredibly passive character who was prone to violence and spent his time leering at every female that entered his eyeline.



Here is a few classic Rem observations on woman:



Her name was Indilen, and his short but pleasant conversation with her in the market had told him that she was far too polished and well-spoken to be just a barmaid.



'Cause regular barmaids are just not good enough for our dashing hero.



“You should’ve seen her, Torval. Auburn hair. Big brown eyes. And well-spoken, too. I can’t tell you what a turnoff a dull-witted woman is.”



Yep, all peasants with their regional accents are "dull-witted". As a regular fantasy reader I like to think of moments of wisdom like this as Goodkind-isms!



Without a single word— with all the simple, honest sincerity of a true and longtime friend— she threw her arms around Torval and held him. To the dwarf’s credit, he didn’t try to throw off the embrace or shun it— as many a dwarf might— but put his own long, thick arms around Aarna and held her, too. It was a good thing he was sitting on his stool, otherwise, his head would’ve been buried in her ample bosom. Then again, maybe that would’ve assuaged his grief further.



Guy is being comforted after just learning his best pal got murdered but good old Rem is daydreaming about the ways the woman could improve her comforting technique. Some might scream lecherous little perv but I'm sure Rem was just being compassionate lol!



Rem suddenly found himself staring, watching the young lady as she smiled and flirted and freely laughed with a group of stonemasons as they placed their orders.

“Oh ho, see here,” Torval said beside him. “Some bull’s had his lead yanked.”



Indeed. I'm not sure what it was with barmaids but Rem viewed every single one of them he met as if they were on the menu!



The porter approached his mistress, bowed, and whispered into her perfect pointed ears. How Rem wanted to nibble on one of the soft, pale lobes at the base of those perfect, tapering ears …



I swear I thought Rem was going to have to ask for a pause mid crime interview so he could go for some "me time". This moment was the tip of the iceberg when it came to his leering at the sexy elfmaid!



The Creeper turned his dark gaze on Rem. Suddenly, Rem felt violated. There was something in the robber baron’s eyes that made him profoundly uncomfortable. Rem felt naked … leered at. Desperate to avert his gaze, Rem looked to Torval, silently asking if an introduction was in order.



I almost died laughing at Rem's reaction to some crime baron looking at him. Not a hint of irony here which is what made it so hilarious considering all his leering at the female characters throughout the story!!! All the great moments of satire in this book were, sadly, unintentional.





If you thought Rem was bad wait until you get a glimpse of his lovely grouchy dwarven partner Torval:



“Orctown’s just outside the North Gate, not far from here. They’ll drink where they can, providing the proprietors let them.”

“Hardly sporting,” Rem muttered. “If they’re not causing trouble.”

“Oh, they will,” Torval said, perhaps a little too bitterly. “They always do, the mouth-breathing bastards. Save your pity, boy. They don’t deserve it.”



Yep, Orcs are just naturally awful in good old Torval's eyes and need to be segregated on principal!



Hang the lot of them. If I had my way, they’d not be within a hundred miles of any civilized city.” He spat on the sawdust-strewn floor.



Oh Torval, you grouchy old charmer!



As the orc wailed, Torval proceeded to shatter its teeth and jaw with his fists. By the time he was done, the orc was no longer roaring or wailing … it was sobbing, begging for mercy. Rem’s stomach turned. He wasn’t sure what sickened him more: the sound of Torval’s bare fists striking the orc’s thick flesh, again and again, without relent, or the ferocity of Torval’s hatred. His broad face was a mask of fury and contempt, but there was an infernal light in his eyes— a sort of feral satisfaction.



If only this scene was a scathing observation on institutionalized racism and abuse of power by those in a position of authority! What it really is is just the climax of an action scene that saw a tiny dwarf beat the shit out of tons of orcs and some random humans in a bar brawl. We are actually supposed to feel sympathy for poor Torval as by this point in the story it has become clear that some nasty orc stole his lunch money or something along those lines in the days of yore so this is just him working through his feelings! Despite being "sickened" by Torval's actions Rem just sweeps this whole incident under the rug and never mentions it again. Not even a cursory half-arsed "you might have went a bit to far there, old pal" just right out with the brush and under the rug with it all!!!



“Had I my wish,” Torval muttered, almost not to Rem at all, “we’d toss the lot of the knuckle-dragging sods into the Fires of the Forge Eternal and swill mead as they slowly burned.”



"knuckle-dragging sods" you have to love a good ole bit of fantasy racism.



Torval punched him. Rem hit the floor.



Torval spends the first third of this book beating the shit out of his new partner. By the 30% mark I was just praying the guy did not have a spouse and family at home as it was clear violence was his answer to pretty much everything that even remotely annoyed him!



Some might call Torval a dangerously violent racist but I'm sure you guys agree he is just the typical grouchy, foul-mouthed, good at heart partner every naive good guy character needs in a buddy cop show!



The worst thing about First Watch, barring all the violence, racism and misogyny obviously, is the fact that Lucas actually had a mildly engaging writing style and that the slow burn murder/mystery story arc was decent enough to inspire a bit of interest, if not any real excitement. This could have been an OK read if not for all the stuff that drove me insane!



It is fair to say I found this one a bit disappointing. It might not have offered a scathing social commentary within the pages of the story but it did offer a scathing indictment on modern fantasy and the publishing industry just by existing!!! I'm not sure if publishing has just went downhill in the last decade or if I'm just becoming less tolerant of racism and misogyny as I age. Either way I'm beginning to despair at the quality of books being churned out by the big fantasy publishers lately:(



Rating: 2.5 stars. Yeah, not even a 1 star rating as despite my massive rant I've actually read way worse than this story and it did have a few good moments. It just frustrated me so much that I ended up hating it!



Audio Note: I've never been much of a Simon Vance fan. I'm not sure what it is with the guys voices and accents but I find I'm more prone to disliking characters in my stories when he is on narration duties. Not that I can point to any single issue with his pronunciation or performance as a specific issue.