You're Under Arrest!

Chapter 1: Let's Be Cops, Bro!

Hey, it's your favorite author, The Draigg! I'm ready to serve up another multi-part story for all of you, and you're going to take it! Now, for this story, I'm going to do something a little different. That's right, this is going to be a buddy-cop story! And not with Team RWBY members, at that. So, before we get to sweating perps and slappin' cuffs on criminals, I have to go through the legal motions. Rooster Teeth owns RWBY, and I don't. I also don't own any other media I reference in here as well. There, that ought to cover me for a few chapters. Now, 10-4, let's get out there!

xxx

"Vale City.

Called a shining gem among the kingdoms. But I've seen its true face. The lies, deceit, and murders that make up this city. It isn't a city where being nice would get you far. The main religions in this shithole are blood, money, and dust. The glue that holds the world together. Dust.

It sounds like my type of town.

Not every hack in a uniform can make it in this city. It's nothing but a sea of corruption, where the foam of theft, whoring, and larceny laps around the ankles of the scum that lives underground.

I came here to make a difference, not to earn a paycheck. I don't need paperwork, I don't need reports. All I need is my brass badge, my gat, and my resilience. Those are my only partners in this wretched hive, this—"

"Sun, could you stop already?"

"Huh?"

Sun Wukong blinked. Damn it, he had a good detective monologue going on there!

"Man, why did you have to stop me when I was on a role?" the monkey Faunus complained at his partner.

"Because…" Neptune groaned, "You've been saying NOTHING but monologues for the past five blocks!"

"How the hell do you think we're gonna be ready to be detectives if we DON'T monologue?!" Sun pointedly questioned.

In fact, that was the exact reason why Neptune and Sun were in Vale City today. About two days ago, they had received their first assignment as partners, and more importantly, as hunters. Their orders were to report in to the Vale City Police Department and sign in for their junior detective program. It was, for the lack of a better term, a major favor to Beacon Academy. After all, if the police wanted access to the rather good weapon stores and investigative labs that Beacon had, they had to give something in turn. It stood to common sense that the police could provide good experience for hunters in training. So, it was more or less a case of give or take. Thus was the relationship between Beacon Academy and the VCPD.

Anyway, back to the situation at hand, Neptune was still rather peeved at Sun for speaking in nothing but hardboiled detective narration for about an hour. Seriously, it wasn't all that interesting when he started, and now it was flat out annoying.

"I dunno, maybe actually do detective stuff when we get there?" dryly remarked Neptune.

"We gotta prep, man!" Sun protested, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Why are you so hyped about this, anyway?" the blue haired hunter asked to his partner. Seriously, while it was neat to work at a police station, it was still just an assignment. Why not treat it as such?

"Are you kidding me? We're gonna be cops, bro! We're gonna be crackin' skulls, arrestin' guys, sayin' one liners, all that stuff! It's gonna be just like television!" Sun gushed.

Neptune shot Sun an odd look as they continued to walk down the street. There was no other way to respond to that without being blunt.

"…I think you don't really get how being a cop really is…" Neptune drawled out.

"Well, if it isn't that way, I'll MAKE it that way! We're gonna be even bigger badasses than before!" ranted on Sun.

Neptune sighed when he heard that. Sun was way too hyped up to be stopped right now. But, hopefully at the station, he would be able to see how being a police officer really was. All the monotony of paperwork and sitting at a desk would probably calm him down.

"Whatever…" Neptune grumbled to himself. All he could do was hope that, in his excitement, Sun wouldn't do anything stupid to get them kicked out of the junior detective program, and get them a bad grade. Hunter assignments were like tests, you couldn't just fuck them up with reckless abandon.

The pair kept on walking down the street, towards the headquarters of the VCPD. When Sun started up his monologues again, Neptune decided it wasn't worth the headache of trying to get him to stop. Instead, he tried to focus on other things. Like, the pretty girls walking in front of him. Man, those jeans were tight in ALL the right places.

Normally, if he wasn't on assignment, Neptune would try to play the game that he normally played when he saw a pretty girl. It was called "Connect the Hots". It was where, walking down the street, you follow a hot woman until you see another one, where then you change direction to follow that one. He couldn't help but be interested in the game after hearing it on a video somewhere on DustTube. And, after he tried it for the first time, he couldn't help but like it. Sure, from an outside perspective, it made him sound like a fucking creep. But, he just couldn't help it. The sights he got from doing it were too good to pass up. But, for some reason, when he tried to ask out a few of the aforementioned girls, they all turned him down. Neptune just didn't get it. Was it his clothes? Maybe he should get a new tie…

At least Neptune had some thoughts to fully distract him now. And no, he wasn't just thinking about getting some spiffy new neckwear.

xxx

About twenty or so minutes later, Sun and Neptune found themselves standing in front of the VCPD Headquarters. The both of them couldn't help but stare at the brick building, and at the stairs leading up to the three pairs of double-doors. The marbled steps served to enhance the dull white edging of the roof and corners. In addition, the arches that decorated the windows added an almost gothic look to the contemporary architecture. Honestly, it was an on-point representation of mid-age inner-city architecture.

"I thought it would look bigger," Sun observed.

"I think some of the mortar is crumbling up there," Neptune added, pointing to a corner on the second floor.

At that, Sun stopped looking at the building and turned to Neptune. "Shouldn't there be, like, government funding for this stuff?" he asked.

Neptune looked at Sun. "Are you kidding me? The last I heard, the monarchy here was throwing money at some new wonder weapon against the Grimm."

That, in fact, was very true. As far as the nobility of Vale's monarchy were concerned, Project G was coming along as a success. To the military, police forces, and even civilians, it was a waste of time, effort, and money. After all the research thrown at the project, all the data gathered told the brass one immutable fact. It was that it, in no uncertain terms, wasn't efficient at all to liquefy Grimm using a portable particle array attached to a truck. But, that's neither here nor there.

"What a shame…" Sun mused. "If anything, they should be giving the cash to these guys! I mean, cops are the sickest!"

"How about all the cops that've tried to arrest you before?" noted Neptune.

Sun paused at that question. It looked like he was really considering something, before replying, "…Let me fix that. Television cops are cool."

"Guess I can't argue with that." conceded Neptune.

Without any further ado, Sun and Neptune stopped looking at the building, and climbed up the steps to the entrance.

Pushing through the wooden doors, the pair entered the main lobby of the VCPD. Up at the front was a large desk, where three officers were sat. Off to the left, were a few seats for the people not being arrested to wait, and to the right was a barred door. Through the reinforced window, there were several people handcuffed to uncomfortable looking benches. Clearly, that was where the guests of honor went once they got picked up.

Sun took the initiative and strolled up to one of the officers working the desk. Grinning like a loon, he slammed his open palms down on the desk and said, "Hello! I'm a hunter, and I'm here for the junior detective thing! Where can I get my badge?"

The officer shot Sun a perplexed look. "Huh?"

Neptune took this as his cue to step in. Leaning on the desk, he calmly said, "Hey there. Me and my friend here are hunters from Beacon. Can we talk to your chief, please? We're here for the junior detective program."

The officer nodded his head. "Ohh… Yeah, I'll call 'em."

As the attending officer dialed something into his phone and talked into the receiver, Neptune and Sun turned to talk to each other.

"Dude, this is totally happening!" Sun gushed. Now he could really be part of the real life Marky and Sutch!

"I know, I know. Think we'll get a car?" Neptune added, going along with Sun's enthusiasm.

"We gotta at least push for a muscle car, man. And it has to have a cool pain job, too. I was thinking, how about grey with green stripes?" Sun sad, laying out his fantasy. Clearly, he put some thought into this possibility already.

"Nah. Blue with white stripes is where it's at," argued Neptune.

"Now, you see, that's your own bias coming in," Sun argued back.

"And how is your opinion not a bias?" questioned Neptune.

"Because it's not my hair color, for one. And hey, is that your natural color, or what?" Sun pressed.

Neptune shifted his gaze around awkwardly. "Wha- wha- what are you accusing me of, exactly?" the blue(?) haired hunter stammered.

Of course, Sun latched onto Neptune's defensive response. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that was only a joke. Is your hair really not blue?"

"How about we drop it, and never bring it up again?" Neptune rather pointedly requested.

"Whatever, bro," Sun said, wisely choosing to drop the matter. He figured that if Neptune was that defensive about his actual hair color, he would take his (kind of lame) secret to the grave.

At that time, the officer got up from his chair and walked over to Sun and Neptune. "The chief will see you now. Follow me," he ordered.

Obeying, Sun and Neptune put aside their previous conversation and began to follow the officer. They were lead through the door that neither of them noticed near the public benches. That was the entrance for those fortunate enough of not winning the prize of matching silver bracelets.

Now Sun and Neptune were in the thick of it. The beating heart of the Vale City Police. They walked past several officers. Some were at their desk, working on paperwork. Others were going through files, probably on whatever case they were working on. And, just like the stereotype, some were lounging around the water cooler eating doughnuts. Clearly, they were living the dream.

Walking past the daily grind of the police officers, Sun and Neptune were lead to a group of offices lining the far wall. If one were to look through the blind-covered windows, they would see detectives going through their routines. Talking about cases, playing trashcan basketball, thinking their way through some of the crimes that plagued the city daily. It takes a good mind to be a detective. Sun and Neptune were hoping to be a part of that group. They were up to the challenge, right?

"Holy shit, this is a police station!" Sun gushed. "It's just like in Order and Justice!". Neptune tried his best not to roll his eyes.

Eventually, the duo stopped in front of a door with a frosted window on it. In golden lettering, the name "Chief Irons" was stenciled. Now that was a good cop name.

"Chief's in there. He'll give you your assignments and whatever." the leading officer said, before leaving Sun and Neptune to their own devices.

The door was their gate to becoming badass cops. All Sun and Neptune needed to do now was open it, and hopefully be the best damn cops ever to grace the streets of Vale City. Ironic, since neither came from here. But, soon enough, the only people bemoaning that fact would be the perps that they busted.

Probably.

If they didn't screw something up first.

xxx

Who's ready for a cop comedy? A copedy? Okay, maybe we shouldn't call it that. Not all words should have a portmanteau. Back to the point, I hope that all of you are down with the idea of a different type of story, with different characters than what I usually use. But, you guys are cool, so I trust you'll stick around to see things through. Oh, and as a fun game, try to spot all the references in this chapter! Now that I think about it, that's a game you can play in all my stories. In addition, be sure to thank my lovely editor, Jimbo Yokimbo, for looking over this chapter! Alas, I must go, but don't forget to leave me a friendly message or review. Remember, I read them all!

This is The Draigg, and I'm signing off for now!