Story highlights Roxanne Jones: As a black woman, I've been conditioned to see the world through the suffocating prism of race

Michelle Obama inspires people of color to fight the fear and hate that might otherwise consume us, Jones writes

Roxanne Jones, a founding editor of ESPN Magazine and former vice president at ESPN, has worked as a producer, reporter and editor at the New York Daily News and The Philadelphia Inquirer. Jones is co-author of "Say it Loud: An Illustrated History of the Black Athlete." She talks politics, sports and culture weekly on Philadelphia's 900AM-WURD. The views expressed here are solely hers.

(CNN) Three weeks ago, my house was pelted with watermelon rinds. No other garbage. Just watermelons. As soon as I heard the noise, I ran outside. When I saw the mess, I was enraged. I wanted to confront the culprit.

My anger was caused by something much deeper than watermelons. You see, growing up in the United States, I've been culturally conditioned to see the world always through the suffocating prism of race. And it's not just me. This is a basic instinct for Americans of every race. No matter how much we say "everyone is equal," our government policies, our history and our daily social interactions betray this lie.

Without a second thought, I freeze with terror when I see a police officer -- in any country -- or wake up in a panic when I know that my son is driving home late. It often feels like there's no escape from this nightmare.

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So when I saw watermelon slices scattered all over my patio, I took it as a form of racist intimidation. The problem was, I wasn't in the United States. I was in Costa Rica, where watermelon is just a delicious fruit enjoyed by all. There's no racial stigma attached, no lingering racist Reconstruction Era cultural stereotypes about lazy blacks and watermelons.

Calm down and breathe is what I told myself as I cleaned up those watermelon rinds. It's nothing. But generations of toxic cultural indoctrination do not die easily and even now, weeks later, I'm still trying to get over it and my suspicions about some of my expat neighbors, many of whom like me are from the United States and travel around the world towing their own racial baggage as white Americans.