Exceptional idiot demands common sense

Boris Johnson has called for the EU to show some ‘common sense’ despite only having personal experience of ‘freakish buffoonery’ himself.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson (yeah, still hard to believe isn’t it?) is now demanding that the EU agrees to make changes to the Brexit withdrawal deal through the application of good old fashioned common sense.

Political Analyst Simon Williams explores just what this means.

“Common sense is generally considered to be the execution of sound decision making based on life experience rather than any kind of study or considered analysis.

“Boris’ life experience amounts to being a lazy pupil at Eton, drinking and vandalising his way through Oxford as a member of the Bullingdon Club, getting fired as a journalist and finally becoming a professional clown via the medium of Conservative politician.

“It’s doubtful that a whole lot of common sense could be derived from a unique and limited experience, especially when that experience is of being a total twat.

“Nevertheless, Boris is effectively calling for a complete denial of hard facts and rational thought. He apparently wants to base the future economic prosperity of the UK – and the security of Northern Ireland – on a feeling in his bones.

“This really doesn’t bode well given that such feelings are normally along the lines of ‘Cor, smashing chesticles darling’.”

Of course, a more cynical view is that ‘common sense’ is a meaningless ideology espoused specifically to appeal to the ill-informed. A rhetoric designed to win the hearts and minds of people who’ve ‘had enough of experts’.

A phrase used by a Prime Minister who would prefer the average person on the street not to ask too many difficult questions.

Surely not?