Courtney Love has settled her landmark Twitter defamation case out of court, denying the world the first celebrity Twitter-related trial and thus the Inherit The Wind-like drama it would have surely spawned. Now we will never have a Spencer Tracy-type reading aloud the Love tweets that designer Dawn Simorangkir claims damaged her reputation, which included such lines aching for melodramatic elocution like calling her an “asswipe nasty lying hosebag thief.” Instead, Love has quietly agreed to pay Simorangkir a hefty $430,000 sum, which she will dole out in installments through 2014. Simorangkir’s attorneys said in a statement, “The amount of the settlement says it all,” calling it “quite a significant way to say I am sorry,” and then adding,“One would hope that, given this disaster, restraint of pen, tongue and tweet would guide Ms. Love’s future conduct.” Speaking on behalf of all media everywhere, we do not hope that.

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