At first I was like, "Huh. Star Wars auction paddles and rhythmic gymnastics ribbons. Ummm...neat?" But then I looked up what BDSM is* and suddenly the gallery of items before me got a lot more interesting. GeekKink's Star Wars collection of paddles, canes, restraints, and floggers give everything from lightsabers to Vader's face some deviously raunchy alter egos fit for the most formidably dominant and happily submissive followers of the Force.

Though I'm disappointed Princess Leia doesn't make an appearance in any of the toys, I would like to thank GeekKink for leaving out letchy old Yoda, who I don't even want watching me kiss a girl on the cheek. I'm loath to speculate about what goes on underneath that Jedi robe of his, but I'm pretty sure whatever it is can be classified as an instant mood killer.

*I told you I'm a wholesome boy from the midwest. How the heck would I know about these things? But suddenly that gimp scene from Pulp Fiction and the entirety of the movie Secretary are making a whole lot more sense to me. Though now it's going to be even worse when I see Maggie Gyllenhaal on TV and immediately flash to her with a saddle on her back rambling on about peas.

Muchas danke to Obvious Winner.