Inside Funland - An Investigative Report by Vesperian Researcher Orlis Teryon.

Day 0

Today, me and the others were given our commission while aboard the IHM: We are to infiltrate the hated Funland and record information about it, and then report back. Hopefully this will satisfy Lord Hunter and Lord Herandic's desires to unveil the true nature of Funland to the world. Of course, the mission is incredibly dangerous. I am prepared for anything, including death. We are being smuggled inside of a Tickle Monster costume as I write. Soon, it will begin.

Day 1

I have made it inside Funland with my team successfully. We almost were caught by a Tickle Monster upon entering, but we managed to dress in bright pink and force ourselves to grin incessantly in time. We only let ourselves stop smiling for seconds at a time when we're sure no one's looking. I feel like my facial muscles are going to burst.

So far, my look inside Funland has been disgusting. No one ever stops smiling, and everything seems so happy and cheerful that it makes me want to throw up. Maybe it is really happy here, though. All of these smiles does make it seem like this place might be good to live in. A closer look at the personal lives of the citizens might clear that up.

Day 2

I haven't managed to get a look at someone's personal life yet. However, I did witness my first... I'm not sure what to call it. Let's go with "taking". I guess that's the best word for it. Anyway, during a party (they have those, like, every second of every day), a man suddenly broke out in sobs, shouting, "I can't take it anymore!" Tickle Monsters and Funland authorities quickly grabbed him and dragged him away. I got some of my team to trail them, and it looks like they were heading for some government building. I don't want to know what they did to him there.

Day 3

It took me a while and almost got me reported several times, but I managed to get a Funland woman to tell me about life there (she will be kept anonymous for her own safety). I convinced her that I wasn't a spy for the government and that I wasn't an evil ERC demon out to kill her, and she told me what goes on in day to day life. Apparently, citizens are not allowed to show the slightest emotion excluding happiness. Noncompliance can lead to reeudcation, or in more intense cases of sadness, disappearing and never being heard from again. Citizens are ordered to attend parties and happy festivals, and if they are not enjoying it enough, a Tickle Monster may "persuade" them otherwise. No one can leave Funland (we already knew that they couldn't enter from outside, nice to know the inverse is true), because the government cannot understand why someone would want to leave the happiest place in the world. In addition, all citizens found to have an ERC bloodline are being rounded up and executed publicly - the woman seemed to believe that they were "demons" bent on destroying fun forever. Although it took much urging and promises that I wouldn't tell anyone, the woman admitted that her happiness was a facade meant to hide her extreme trauma and horror. Satisfied, I went back to hide in the large, pink trash bin me and my crew were using as our hideout.

Day 4

Today, our trip to the Funtain of Youth commenced. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen. The massive spring was able to be visited by a few citizens at a time. When they returned, they were in an unparalleled state of happiness. Upon me and my team's turn to go, I was wary of what the water could be doing and only allowed one member of my team to try a small amount. He immediately burst into a fit of giddiness and crazed euphoria. Upon researching the water's contents, we realized that it was a powerful hallucinogenic used to keep people in a state of perpetual, artificially induced "happiness". The water was highly addictive as well, and it took several days for my team member to recover before we saw it fit to take any further action again (hence the day skip following). Having seen enough of this horrifying landmark, we quickly hurried away.

Day 7

We are devising the means for our escape. I pray it goes smoothly. We are to dress up as Tickle Monsters again and pretend to be escorting a so-called ERC citizen to his death outside the walls of the city.

Day 8