… Or a story in wine.

Monogamy wine is delightful. Delicious. But to extend the metaphor of its name, I don’t think I could honestly settle down, and just drink only one wine for the rest of my life. To miss out on sampling the Beaujolais Nouveau, or a vintage Moët & Chandon champagne for New Years Eve, or even a simple, lowly sangria, would be a shame. To expect that a winery would demand exclusivity would be madness. Fortunately, we aren’t expected to pledge our love and exclusivity just to enjoy a glass of wine.

Monogamy says you are only capable one “true love” and that anything else is unacceptable. Of course, the assumption that there is only one true love for each of us might be harder to believe, if you consider that our “one true love” could have been born 5000 years ago, or may not yet be born. The core assumption is that your one true love it’s the only person in the world who perfectly matches your temperament, hobbies, and tastes.

Contrast the one true love ideal of monogamy, to the puzzle piece possibilities of polyamory. Each relationship serves to fill a particular aspect, without necessarily having to meet them all. It doesn’t mean that every relationship will be a sexual one, but it does not start with that possibility off the table. So a wife who doesn’t dance doesn’t mean I’ll never go dancing again.

For my lovely wife, polyamory means she can have her husband, and a girlfriend, too. In her case, monogamy had no place for the concept “husband & a girlfriend”. Polyamory is the mature way of handling her needs, without jealousy, sneaking around, or denying the needs she has.

So, why the second bottle of wine? Ménage a Trois is JavaKitten’s favorite winery.

I am such a lucky man.

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