ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The nation’s top rum producer has released a rum-scented hand sanitiser as the battle to control the COVID-19 virus enters another week.

Bundaberg has released the “Bundaberg 5 White Rum Hand Sanitiser’ today amid concerns the national stockpile of the product was running out.

The White Rum, which was released some years ago in spirit alcohol form to very mild fanfare, has been brought back to help fight the deadly virus that’s seen this nation locked-down for the last few weeks.

Speaking to The Advocate this morning, Bundaberg’s chief distiller Tallon Rock Steele explained that every Australian company needs to do their bit to help in these trying times.

“If you set your mind back a few years, you’ll remember that we released a white rum that really put hairs on your chest,” he said.

“It was a high-quality brain varnish but it was ahead of its time. Nonetheless, we’ve since discovered that it works quite well as a hand sanitiser. We knew it had the ability to strip the Duco off a car but the sanitation qualities of Bundy 5 weren’t especially known back then,”

“Bundy Five was the type of grog you’d enjoy at 3:23 AM in some nightclub you’d never been to before. In the CBD somewhere. The DJ was probably playing a vaporwave set. You’d lost your friends but you didn’t care. ‘A double bundy five, por favor,’ you’d say to the bartender. He’d purse his lips and look at the bouncer. All of a sudden it’s 8 AM and you’re waking up in a park. That was the type of waterproofer petrol it was. Now it’s hand sanitiser. Enjoy, Australia.”

Bundaberg has warned against consuming this new hand sanitiser but if left without another option, it goes nice with mint and Coke Zero.

More to come.

