I am shaking from embarrassment/anger at the moment. I thought I had a good relationship with my boss and she has been incredibly supportive of my job search for something in my particular field of law. Today, she even offered to take my resume and send it out to some of her contacts. Well, one of her contacts happens to be a friend of mine in a different context and she forwarded the email my boss sent out in “support” of me.

“She is a terrific director- manages our legal issues, money, takes charge, is pleasant and very smart. However, she really wants to practice xxxx law, and has met up with dead ends due to, I think, a weight problem. But she is SO good, so I would hope you can look past that issue.”

Where do I begin to describe my anger and hurt about this? Number ONE, my weight is not a fucking “problem,” nor is it something she and I have ever discussed and I’ve complained about in terms of my job search. It may very well be that my weight has been the reason I have not received certain job offers, but that is not something that is HER right to discuss or hypothesize upon to total strangers who have never met me. It also makes me suspicious of the fact that she herself holds particular prejudices against fat people when assessing their employ-ability and expects others to do the same. Finally, I’m sure she is sitting in her office right now patting herself on her back for helping bypass the “weight problem” I have by putting the “thin stamp of approval” that I’m not like those OTHER fatties, I am actually “good,” so they can “look past” my “problem.” She sent this email to some pretty important people in my area of law and I am so embarrassed right now. I don’t even know how to proceed.

Think privilege is getting a workplace recommendation that has nothing to do with your weight.