Did you hear the one about the TSA agent who stole $50,000 worth of electronics equipment from travelers by slipping iPads down his pants? Or the Phoenix-based TSA security director who deliberately increased screening wait times in order to justify increasing his own staff count?

Or the TSA administrator who approved the practice of giving TSA trainees test answers in advance of their certification exams?

No, these are not bad jokes about the trials and tribulations of air travel. These are true stories that highlight the sad state of airport security in this country.

And it’s only gotten worse with the government shutdown. Since Dec. 22, unpaid TSA workers have called in sick in record numbers and some are quitting outright. Airports across the country are struggling with worker shortages, even longer lines, delayed flights, extremely frustrated passengers, and most importantly, new threats to our national security thanks to an overtaxed security process.

The shutdown vividly demonstrates the need to fully privatize the Transportation Security Administration. Now there is the potential for a bipartisan consensus about doing just that.

With a budget of $7.8 billion, TSA is the fourth most expensive agency under the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, even bigger than Immigration and Customs Enforcement. The results, however, have not improved with the passing of time or dollars.

TSA screeners have repeatedly failed tests carried out by its “red team” -- undercover agents trained to sneak banned items through TSA checkpoints. Gaping security holes cost the agency’s acting head his job in 2015, and tests showed that Office of the Inspector General agents were able to sneak weapons and other banned items past screeners 95 percent of the time.

Two years later, a 2017 OIG report demonstrated that serious flaws continued to persist. TSA still failed 80 percent of “red team” tests. According to the Department of Homeland Security, inspectors “identified vulnerabilities with TSA’s screener performance, screening equipment and associated procedures.”

The relative lack of improvement is not surprising, considering the TSA is essentially a self-regulating entity. Government bureaucracy, lack of competition, and onerous labor laws that make it difficult to fire underperformers and bad apples are a recipe for dysfunction.

After 18 years of embarrassing mishaps, controversies, and arrests, this litany of errors would be comical if the agency wasn’t in charge of much of our national security. From TSA agents stealing, to showing up to work drunk, to sheer profligacy, it’s clear taxpayer funds can be better spent with better results.

Whether to run the TSA as a private security service isn’t a new debate by any means. It dates to the creation of the TSA. But the government shutdown provides the latest piece of evidence in a long litany of reasons why airport screeners should be returned to the private sector, where they will be better compensated, better trained, better motivated, and better managed.

Following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Congress agreed that the our nation’s airport security needed to be revamped, but disagreed about how to treat airport screeners. The Senate-passed Aviation and Transportation Security Act made all airport screeners federal employees, while the House of Representatives preferred to make them private workers under the management of the newly created TSA. Ultimately, the Senate and House agreed on compromise legislation, which federalized the airport screeners, but gave airports the option of opting out after three years at the TSA’s discretion.

It’s now 18 years later, and there are reams of data and plenty of time to assess how well the new status quo is working. Multiple reports are unequivocal: the agency is underperforming. TSA suffers from all the faults of an over-bloated government program with inflated costs and subpar results.

A 2005 congressional investigation found that a pilot program at five airports using private screeners outperformed federal screeners. A 2007 study found a much higher rate of missed weapons at Chicago O’Hare and Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) where TSA relies on federal employees compared with the private screeners at San Francisco International Airport (SFO). A 2011 study by the House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee found the screening process at SFO much more productive than its counterpart at LAX. The private screeners cost 42 percent less, but were 65 percent more efficient.

While only 22 of the U.S.’s 450 airports use privately contracted screeners, other countries have embraced privatization and its benefits. Canada and a majority of European countries use some form of private screeners, and other countries in Asia and South America are following suit.

Let’s take a lesson from the current upheaval and steal a page from our friends across the pond. Airport security shouldn’t be subject to the whims of congressional playground battles and power struggle. That’s playing with fire, and we are sure to get burned.

David M. McIntosh is president of the Club for Growth, the nation’s leading free-enterprise advocacy group with a national network of more than 250,000 pro-growth, limited government Americans, who share the belief that prosperity and opportunity come from economic freedom.