For Maureen Stiles of Gaithersburg, Md., it was the empty shoe rack that did her in.

After the eldest of her three sons left for college last fall, she said, “I walked upstairs and I could see straight into his room from the hallway.” The missing shoes made it clear that he was gone.

“It was weeks of real grief before I could go in there,” she said.

Although college drop-off is a moment of triumph and pride, it can also be one of the most painful transitions in parenthood. Perhaps the sadness and anxiety come from the seemingly contradictory emotions of wanting your child to have independence and yet remain close as a family.

Experts and experienced parents say families can do both. Here are some suggestions for ways to manage this mix of emotions and strategies for building a new, exciting chapter for both of you.

Cope With the Empty Chair at the Table

“Parents really do grieve, but there is also an upside to your kids moving into this new stage of life, a real sense of freedom for the parents,” says Jeffrey Arnett, a developmental psychologist and the author of the book “Getting to 30.” In a national survey of over 1,000 parents of young adults, done with Clark University in 2013, Dr. Arnett found that while 84 percent of parents missed their kids once they moved out, 60 percent were glad to have more time with their spouse or partner or for themselves and 90 percent were happy their kids were independent.