My wife, Laryssa, is the most beautiful girl in the world. We were high school sweethearts, and friends called our marriage perfect. She is without a doubt the hottest woman in our neighborhood with her supermodel good looks, blond hair, 34c’s and an ass every one of my friends loved staring at.

My best bud, Rob, the alpha male of our circle of friends, was tight with both my wife and me. The worst kept secret was that Rob had a huge cock. The guys and I joked that if there were a ‘Big Dick Club,’ Rob would be the only member based on the gossip of every girl he nailed. In addition to being somewhat athletic, Rob had a sweet car, a nice income, and was boyishly cute. He had that big dick confidence, almost cocky, always assertive. I looked up to Rob, as he was very much the opposite of me.

Rob and I weren’t always tight – he often looked down on me, but as we were part of the same social circle, and in time, he warmed up to me. Maybe he liked talking to someone different; maybe he liked the favors I did for him, like wash his car, do his laundry or pick up his dry cleaning. I didn’t really care – having a friend like Rob made me feel cool, even if I did feel somewhat inferior to him.

While Rob was all about banging hot chicks, playing sports, and making money, my nerdy tag-along friend, Andrew, was all about Star Trek and WWE. No one really talked to Andrew because he couldn’t hold a conversation without talking about one of those two franchises, ad-nauseum. Even Andrew’s older brother, James – another close friend of mine and a regular part of our social circle who lived with Andrew in a small apartment down the street from mine – could only talk to Andrew in small doses. Andrew stood out when he hung out with us – the rest of the guys took the time to dress and groom, while he wore WWE apparel like it was nightclub attire. It was evident he gave himself haircuts with his electric shaver, and he had the same pair of worn-in sneakers on every single day.

Andrew did have a ‘thing’ that could get people to chuckle, no matter who was in the room. When he tagged along with us, Andrew could make anyone laugh by making fun of me. Whether it was in front of my friends, my wife or a stranger, Andrew loved to isolate any weakness he could see in me to amuse others. For example, he once made my friends laugh by saying I throw like a girl after my wife asked me to toss her something. Another time, he corrected inconsistencies in a story I told my friends about a topic I claimed to be an expert in, discrediting me in the process. Many times, Andrew’s subtle innuendos about the size of my dick got a smile out of my wife. Humiliating me was his ‘in,’ but I was thankful his lack of social skills prevented him from parlaying any of those moments into something more at my expense. Despite that, there was something about letting Andrew tag along with me that made me feel like an alpha male. Of course, that begged the question: was that what Rob felt like when I hung around him?

Rob didn’t like Andrew at all, dubbing him the “neighborhood loser,” leaving the room anytime Andrew tried to mingle with the guys and I. Rob flat-out told me he didn’t want to be seen with him, suggesting that Andrew was beneath him, not that Rob was a snob or an elitist. He just didn’t care for Andrew. Whenever Rob would see him coming our way, he would say “uh-oh, let’s bounce, the neighborhood loser’s coming…” or something to that effect. I think it came down to the two of them being opposites. One was the epitome of cool, and the other one…not so much.

Once James got a steady girlfriend, Andrew spent less time with his brother and more time with me. His monologues about sci-fi and wrestling would get to the point of annoyance, and yet I never considered ditching the guy. The guys would often question why I kept bringing him along with us, referring to him as trouble. I had no logical answer, other than the fact that having someone like him follow me around like a puppy dog.

Andrew and I sometimes tussled, just horseplay-wrestling, but he would always dominate me physically whenever we fought. It wasn’t real, of course, no fists, just fake fighting while still trying to ‘win.’ To be honest, I never really beat Andrew at anything – video games, trivia, billiards, you name it. Upon each victory, no matter what the competition was, Andrew would gloat and put me in my place verbally. It was humbling always coming in second place to the “neighborhood loser,” as Rob called him. The light, playful slaps to the cheek he often gave me afterward was his way of telling me who was the true alpha male between us, though I never took that seriously. In hindsight, I should have, but like most things Andrew did, I dismissed it.

Things started to change between Laryssa and my nerdy friend on the day she came home to find me in a submission hold begging Andrew for mercy. She watched in awe as Andrew made me repeat self-deprecating things, knowing Laryssa was his audience. My wife smiled at Andrew, biting her lip, hearing me shout how much bigger and stronger he was than me, and how she deserved to be with a real man like him. She didn’t see past the fact that he was making me shout those things, which made it even more humiliating. While caught in the hold, his dirty white-socked foot made its way between my lips, and when I gagged on his cotton-covered toes, Andrew released the hold, unable to control his laughter. For all Andrew’s flaws, he truly excelled at making me look meek and wimpy in front of others.

Laryssa would later tell me that, while “watching Andrew slap me around,” she realized Andrew wasn’t the nerd I made him out to be, that perhaps it was me that was tagging along with him! She spoke as if her realization was a fact without even considering that I might have had a perfectly good explanation for getting my ass kicked by my tag-along friend. Laryssa offered me some advice, telling me to “stand up to my bully” if I wanted him to stop picking on me. I was flabbergasted at her perception of how things were between Andrew and me. I told her that he wasn’t my bully, reminding her that this was Andrew were talking about – the guy my best friend dubbed “the neighborhood loser.” She wasn’t convinced but didn’t push the issue.

I told Andrew the next day what my wife said about our tussle. I don’t know why, but I felt obligated to tell Andrew that my wife thought of him as my bully. I told him that Laryssa thinks he made me look puny. Andrew interpreted that differently than I intended him to, like Laryssa’s perspective of our friendship had established what the realistic status-quo was between he and I. Andrew’s smile turned into a smirk upon remembering just how much my girl’s eyes were on him that day. Suddenly, I got the same sense of inferiority being around Andrew that I got when I was with Rob.

The next day, I invited Andrew over to play video games while Laryssa prepared dinner in the kitchen. She overheard Andrew tell me about a party he was invited to by some computer geeks he used to go to school with. She and I both knew Andrew wasn’t going to attend the party since he wasn’t that social. That’s why it surprised me to hear my wife ask Andrew if she could come with him…as his date…to that party. Joining us in the living room and sitting right beside Andrew, she pitched an idea about how she could help improve his social life – teasing that he would be the life of the party simply by showing up with a “hot chick.” Andrew loved her idea, and the two spent the rest of the night talking to each other while I played video games alone listening to them. From my peripheral vision, I could see their body language was anything but awkward, which surprised me. I was used to my wife seeing Andrew as nothing but background, and now she was giving him her undivided attention, which he was eating up. Andrew left before Laryssa, and I sat down for dinner, and all I could think about was the cocky wink he gave me on his way out. Suddenly, my nerdy tag-along friend was exhuming the same kind of big-dick confidence that Rob had.

Laryssa spent our dinner conversation planning her date with Andrew, or as she kept referring to him, “my bully,” which always made me cringe. She was subtly taunting me while telling me she was looking forward to getting to know him better. I knew she was just kidding and had the best intentions for Andrew. Her plan made sense, as the party was going to be full of nerds like him – how could he not be the center of attention there with a babe like Laryssa on his arm?

My wife mentioned that he couldn’t show up to any party wearing WWE apparel, suggesting that I lend him my credit card. She took him shopping the next day, and when the two of them came home together, both looked at me devilishly, like they knew something I didn’t. Before he left, Laryssa kissed Andrew on the cheek as he flicked my credit card at me and gave me a thumbs-up. I was in awe of confidence oozing out of the kid, oblivious to the fact that soon, everyone involved in this situation would betray me.

The next day, Andrew was over my place playing video games. Rob dropped by spontaneously. He was about to leave upon seeing Andrew, but I convinced my best friend to stay for a while.

It was awkward at first, with Rob and I talking like Andrew wasn’t in the room while the three of us had our hands on controllers. At one point, Rob and Andrew eliminated me from the game, not realizing they were both doing the same thing to me separately. Upon figuring out why I was no longer in the game, a sight I never thought I would see happened right in front of me – my alpha male best friend high-fived the guy he referred to as “the neighborhood loser.” Their eyes squinted while laughing aloud at me right in front of me, and the inferiority feeling I had around Rob suddenly got kicked into overdrive. I heard Rob whisper to Andrew, “let’s do it again!”, and each time I re-entered the game, Andrew and Rob killed me instantly, laughing harder each time they did it. Once I gave up, they kicked back and continued playing the game against each other, talking to one another like they were long-time friends. About 10 minutes into their conversation, Andrew looked over in my direction.

“Eh…make yourself useful and get me a beer-ah.” My tag-along friend instructed me.

I’m not sure why I didn’t say “go get one yourself,” but when I scurried to the fridge to fetch the kid one of my premium beers, I heard Rob chuckle, and from my peripheral vision, saw him fist-bump Andrew.

“Get me one too, buddy,” Rob shouted my way.

I returned with two beers in hand. Andrew stopped Rob short of taking one.

“Eh…that bottle cap’s not going to twist itself off-ah….” Andrew said to me with an eyebrow raised. I immediately twisted off both bottle caps and handed them over to my two guests. Neither one of them thanked me when taking them out of my hands.

Andrew took a sip and put his beer bottle down on my newly-installed hardwood floor, still playing the video game with Rob. It didn’t take long for his size thirteen foot to knock over the bottle, making the foamy beer spill all over the ground. I threw a hissy-fit when Andrew didn’t make any attempt to clean up his mess – he just looked down at it, then looked at me, then back at the TV screen, thumbs still on the controller. I grabbed a sponge, leaped to my knees in front of him and absorbed the spreading spill.

“Eh…quick –it’s gonna hit my sock-ah!” Andrew shouted at me, but I was too late – some of the beer touched the sole of Andrew’s holey white sweat sock.

I complained about Andrew’s clumsiness, but looked up and saw that neither him nor Rob, were listening to anything I said, engrossed in their conversation. On all fours, I continued to soak up the last of the beer, when suddenly, Andrew stretched his legs out on my back.

“Ahhhhh….” Andrew exhaled, getting comfortable with his feet perched up on my spine. “Much better.”

With that one action, I felt an intangible connection form between Rob and my tag-along friend. My alpha male best friend laughed at Andrew’s act of superiority over me. With his feet still on my back, Andrew asked me if I wanted some beer, and when I turned my head to face him, Andrew shoved his stinky socked-foot in my mouth for the second time that week. With the sole of the sock almost black, I could taste more sweat than dirt or beer on the cotton sock. Rob’s laughter egged Andrew on as he began shoving his socked-big toe in and out of my mouth like I was performing fellatio on it. I was trying to process just how big Andrew’s feet were. His big toe alone was like four of mine put together.

Still on all fours, I pushed Andrew’s foot away, and like a klutz, lost my balance, flipping around 180 degrees on the slippery wet hardwood. Andrew saw that as an opportunity to humiliate me further, resting the meat of his foot directly on my face, with my nose unable to breathe in anything but the sole of my so-called bully’s dirty sweat sock. I tried to push him away, intending to get up, but Andrew placed more pressure on his foot, making it difficult to get back on my feet. Rob’s laughter was incentive enough for Andrew to keep his foot on my face, while I struggled to break free and suck in fresh air at the same time.

“C’mon, buddy!” Rob mocked me, watching me give my all to take my tag-along friend’s foot off my face. “You can do it!”

I was relieved when Andrew took one foot off my face and assumed he was done making me look like a complete wimp in front of my alpha male best friend. I should have known better. The only reason Andrew took his foot of my face was to take his dirty sock off, before shoving it right in my mouth. I went wide-eyed, my head sandwiched between the beer-stained hardwood flooring and the meat of Andrew’s size thirteen bare foot. My lips were on the center of his sole, and I’ll never forget the taste of his sweat or the sight of his pinkish-pale toes above my eyes. From Rob’s perspective, it had looked like I was worshiping my tag-along friend’s foot. I had never heard my buddy laugh for this long before – if Andrew’s goal was to impress Rob at my expense, he was batting a thousand.

“Eh…what smells worse?” Andrew asked, looking down at me. “My sock or my foot-ah?”. Rob was almost in tears from laughing so hard.

“What tastes worse,” Andrew continued to taunt, brushing my front teeth with his big toe in my already sock-gagged mouth. “My sock or my toe?”

He finally took his foot off my face, taking off the other sock and tossing it down at me, telling me I could keep them both.

“Eh…here. Something to beat off with tonight-ah…” he chuckled.

Andrew finally got up and walked into my bedroom, pulled out a fresh, unopened pack of socks from my drawer, and took out a brand-new pair. My tag-along friend didn’t even bother putting the pack back in the drawer or closing it. Instead, he tossed the bag on the floor, walked back over to the couch while sidestepping the spill by stepping on my back, sat back down, and began putting the new, unworn socks on. The torment Andrew put me through didn’t even phase him, something that impressed both Rob and me for different reasons.

I rose to my feet and began throwing another hissy fit, telling Andrew to leave my place. To my shock, Rob immediately came to the defense of his newfound friend.

“Why does he have to leave?” Rob asked me as if I was the one behaving inappropriately. Andrew just chuckled, slipped on his running shoes, grabbed his jacket, and made his way towards the door.

“Andrew, wait up!” Rob shouted, dropping the video game controller to catch up to his new buddy without even acknowledging me. “Don’t leave me alone with the footfag!”

Later that week, my computer wasn’t working properly. I asked Andrew if I could use his laptop, which he allowed me to use at the apartment he shared with his brother. I typed away with my back to Andrew in his bedroom, while he lay in bed watching TV. Laryssa texted me asking where I was, and when I told her I was at Andrew’s, she decided to drop by and join us. Andrew unlocked the door for her so she could come right in. He then walked back to his bed and spread out. Laryssa arrived shortly afterward and made a bee-line for Andrew, taking off her coat and tossing it on a nearby chair.

“Mind if I join you?” Laryssa asked Andrew, biting her bottom lip while hovering over his horizontal body. Andrew returned the smile, gave her a wink, and patted down on a spot right next to him.

“Eh…I saved you a spot-ah.” Andrew replied, shifting his body left to give my girl plenty of room to lay beside him.

Getting comfortable in his arms, Laryssa used Andrew’s bicep for a pillow while they made small talk. I still had my back to them, typing away on Andrew’s computer, and in the screen’s reflection, I saw Laryssa cover them both up with a blanket so that they were under the covers in his bed. They continued to talk, with a lot of movement in the middle of the bed.

I caught the tail end of a conversation they were having about shaving, not realizing they weren’t talking about the hair on Andrew’s head. I felt like interrupting when Andrew told her he kept his balls completely shaven, and maintained it monthly. He also went as far as to say he was going to do just that before she came over,

“Don’t let me stop you,” Laryssa said to Andrew with a smile, taking the covers off, rising out of bed, grabbing his hand, and pulling him up. “I’ll even give you a hand!”

“Eh…as you can see, you’ll need two-ah,” Andrew said cryptically, making my wife blush.

“We’ll be in the bathroom if you need us, sweetie.” My wife said to me. I didn’t have to look at Andrew to know he was smirking at me.

I finished what I had to on Andrew’s computer, got up and went to look for my wife and my tag-along friend. Hearing Andrew exhaling from behind the bathroom door, I silently opened it, and my jaw hit the floor. Andrew was standing with his head cocked back in the tub, pants-less. His hands gripped my wife’s hair, holding it up. Laryssa was on her knees with the electric shaver in one hand and Andrew’s big round ballsack in the other, which was completely shaven. The head of Andrew’s big dick landed on her lips, and when I cleared my throat, both turned their heads in my direction. A trail of pre-cum was attached from Andrew’s dick-head to my wife’s bottom lip before she broke the rope with her finger. She looked guilty but excited. Andrew looked pissed off at me like I was blocking him from something.

I realized I saved my wife from an awkward, uncomfortable moment. It must have been embarrassing for her to have the “neighborhood loser’s” dick on her lips. She was a good sport about it, though, in fact, she was on cloud nine right up until she left the apartment with me shortly afterward. I must admit, it was quite the sight to see my girl hold my mate’s thick cock.

When I told Rob what I had walked in on, he was beside himself in shock. He asked for details, and I gave him as much as I could. Rob was awestruck, and when he came over later that night, Andrew was already over playing video games on my couch against me. I felt like a third wheel once again, as Rob sat down beside him. The neighborhood loser and the ultimate alpha male began talking to each other in hushed tones so I couldn’t hear them, even though I was in the same room. I eavesdropped on them and overheard the following:

“You HAVE to hit that!” Rob said.

“Eh…what do you think I’ve been trying to do-ah?” Andrew responded.

“Is he cockblocking you?” Rob asked, thumbing in my direction. “You want me to smack him around a little…?”

“Nah, I don’t sweat him.” Andrew laughed. “I’ll just dangle one of my dirty socks in front of him and he’ll be completely distracted.” The two of them fist-bumped while laughing hard.

“Dude, she shaved your balls?!” Rob said, incredulously.

“Eh….yup,” Andrew replied proudly, exhaling confidently.

“And he (Rob nodded to me with his head) walked in on her – on her fuckin’ knees – with your dick in her hand?!”

“Hands, plural. She needed both hands to hold it-ah” Andrew replied with a smirk.

“Nice”, Rob said with a smile. “Welcome to the club.”

“Eh…thanks.”

Seeing the two of them sitting together the way they were, laughing, talking…an intense feeling of inferiority began to bubble within me, to the point where I suddenly felt very unworthy to be in Andrew and Rob’s presence.

“Eh…you should have seen the way she was staring at it…” Andrew said to Rob. “She inspected it wide-eyed like it was the biggest thing she had ever seen-ah…”

“Look what she’s used to,” Rob replied, again nodding in my direction. “What at you gonna do about you-know-who?”

“Eh…fuck ’em,” Andrew said looking right at me. “What’s he gonna do about it?”

“I love this,” Rob said with an ear to ear smile, also turning his eyes to mine, then back to Andrew. “She’s all yours, buddy. She’s waiting for you.”

On the night of the party, Andrew was attending with my wife, Laryssa got so dolled-up, you would have thought she was going to the Oscars. From the F-Me pumps to the cleavage-revealing dress, to her blonde hair done up professionally, there was no way anyone’s eyes would miss her beauty. And by default, since she was side-by-side with Andrew, he was going to be just as popular.

Andrew didn’t dress up on her level but didn’t attend in his trademark WWE apparel either. He wore modest clothing, bought with my credit card – dressed casually, not a radical change from how he otherwise would look. Jeans and a t-shirt. Since my wife was the one who took him shopping, what she suggested he wear was indicative that she didn’t want to change anything about him – she just wanted him to show up to a party without wearing pro-wrestling apparel. The lack of wrestling clothing made me realize Andrew was a better-looking guy than I was. His weekly self-given haircuts made him look well-groomed, complete with light, shaved down facial hair to compliment his somewhat pale skin. Any acne he had was gone, and his face didn’t carry a blemish. It’s amazing what a change in attitude will do your physical appearance. Also, unlike me, he didn’t look awkwardly out of place standing next to the hottest girl in the neighborhood. They looked believable as a couple.

I found out very little about what happened that night, as both my wife and my tag-along friend barely gave me details. Laryssa said she didn’t want to cheapen the night by gossiping about it, and Andrew just shrugged his shoulders and smirked at me when I asked him how the night went. What I did learn was that Rob attended the same party, invited by some girl he was banging at the time named Sara (who happened to be the ex-girlfriend of the party host – classic Rob). Andrew got a double-dose of attention, not only by having a smoking-hot date by his side, but also by hanging out with the ultimate alpha male. The pictures I saw of Andrew and Laryssa, via Facebook, showed them together intimately. She wasn’t uncomfortable with his arm around her waist, and she had no trouble touching his chest, riffling through his hair, or kissing his cheek.

Rob sent out a mass text, perhaps forgetting the picture would go to me. The photo showed him standing between Andrew and Laryssa, his arm around them both. I felt left-out looking at the photo, and when I asked Rob about the party, he talked about Laryssa as if she wasn’t my wife. Rob built up Andrew as some kind of stud, how my wife couldn’t keep her hands off him, even going as far as to call them a cute couple. Sara was with us when Rob told me that, and claimed Laryssa was infatuated with Andrew, saying she used words like “cute”, “hot” and “huge” when talking about him.

That weekend, some friends of ours accompanied my wife and me to a billiard hall. Laryssa was hanging out with her friends, and I was there with mine. Naturally, Andrew was there, but this time, he wasn’t just a guest of his brother or mine. Andrew was asked to come by my best friend and my wife.

I played against Andrew in several games of pool and air hockey, losing each game to him, as usual.

At one point, some girl asked me to help her select a song from the jukebox, as I was standing near it. After I helped her, her boyfriend gave me the evil eye as I walked away. Not long afterward, that same boyfriend, a brute of a man, walked up to me and slapped me across the face. I was in shock, and all my friends jumped up to defend me. Security threw him out immediately.

About a half hour later, we all left, I was the first one out the door, Andrew behind me. As soon as I set food outside, the brute came up to me and socked me in the face, then punched me in the stomach. He stood over me about to pummel me, when Andrew grabbed his arm, twisted it, and shoved him to the ground. The brute tried to get up, but Andrew stepped on his chest and told him to leave, as his friends would be down any minute. The brute’s girlfriend came to take him away, and when Andrew turned around, he received a huge hug from Laryssa, who had seen what had happened from the window.

“My hero!” Laryssa said to Andrew with her arms around him, giving him a thank-you kiss right on the lips, which lasted a little longer than I would have liked. I could feel Andrew’s eyes on me when my wife’s lips touched his.

My wife broke the kiss to check on me afterward, and upon realizing I was in one piece, suggested I go home to nurse my wounds. She told me she was going to stick around and buy Andrew a drink to thank him for “saving my ass”, as she put it.

My friends got home an hour after I did, texting me to see if I was okay. They all applauded Andrew for being man enough to protect me, and most of my friends told me that I owed him for sticking up for me, which I thought was an exaggeration. Andrew didn’t get home until the next morning, and when I asked what he did all night, he just chuckled, like he was laughing at me.

“Listen, Andrew, thanks for having my back, man,” I said to my tag-along friend. “I really appreciate your help.”

“Eh…you can thank me by showing me the proper respect from now on-ah,” Andrew said to me. I laughed nervously, but he wasn’t laughing or even smiling. He looked at me sternly. I could tell he was serious by the tone of his voice.

“Of course,” I said on instinct, the inferior feeling brewing up inside of me. “Whatever you say, Andrew.”

“Eh…good boy-ah…” He said to me with a wink.

Rob was making plans for a sold-out concert, gloating about how he and Sara – who was now officially his girlfriend – managed to score tickets, waving them in front of me triumphantly. He seized the hottest tickets in town, not only for him and Sara but for Laryssa and anyone she wanted to bring as well. I was surprised to learn that it was my wife who asked Rob if she could get 2 more if he managed to get any, and gave him $200 per ticket. Rob suddenly stopped giving me details when Sara whispered something in his ear, breaking eye contact with me, looking like he let something slip that I wasn’t supposed to hear. I reached out my hand to take the tickets from Rob and was taken back when he pulled his arm away.

“Um, the other ticket’s not for you, dude,” Rob said as if he felt sorry for me. He then looked over my shoulder and smiled. I turned around and swallowed hard – Andrew was right behind me.

“Eh…is that my ticket-ah?” Andrew asked Rob, non-rhetorically. I felt ostracized when he handed Andrew the tickets, then man-shaked him right in front of me. My smoking-hot wife was going to a concert with my nerdy, tag-along friend, my alpha male best friend, and his hot new girlfriend…without me. Laryssa hadn’t discussed any of this with me. It was almost like she didn’t want me to know she was going to the concert with Andrew. What made it even more insulting was that Andrew didn’t even care for concerts or music in general.

There were plenty of pictures taken on the night of the concert, which I studied obsessively on Facebook. Almost every picture of Laryssa showed Andrew by her side. Some of them had his big hands on her waist, while in others, her lips were touching his ear and his cheeks. A few of those photos captured Andrew and Laryssa holding hands.

After that night, Andrew and Rob began hanging out on a regular basis, sometimes without me, sometimes at my place without me home, invited by Laryssa and Sara. I felt like there was something the four of them weren’t telling me, because when I would enter the room, they all changed the subject of whatever they were discussing, sometimes going immediately quiet, always making me feel like an unwanted part of their circle.

I was learning what it was like to be treated like the “neighborhood loser”, particularly by the way Andrew and Rob looked at me. As if that inner feeling of inferiority I got around Rob and, more recently, with Andrew, individually wasn’t enough, the feeling I got when they were together was downright overwhelming. The way they looked down at me, combined with the smirks on their faces, made me feel like I truly was beneath them.

Driving home from work one day, I saw Andrew walking down the street, and when I asked where he was going, he told me he was on his way to Rob’s, as some of the guys were getting together. I told him Rob must have forgotten to tell me, but Andrew just chuckled, as if he was laughing at something I wasn’t cluing into. Andrew told me to give him a ride to Rob’s house. Once we got there, I was about to get out of the car, but Andrew stopped me.

“Eh…nope-ah,” Andrew said, unfastening his seatbelt, getting out and shutting the door. “You can go home now. Thanks for the ride-ah.”

I interpreted that as instructions to go home, change, and wash up before coming back to Rob’s. When I tried to call Rob, he never answered, no matter how many times I called. Laryssa wasn’t answering my texts or calls either. I decided to crash the party, showing up about 90 minutes later.

I walked right into Rob’s house without knocking. People were surprised to see me, greeting me awkwardly. I saw Andrew walk into Rob’s bedroom behind some smoking hot girl who was holding his hand. I couldn’t get a good look at her as I left my glasses in the car, but she looked an awful like my wife, which told me Andrew and I had the same taste in women. I was rather taken back to see Andrew with a girl at all, let alone pull him into Rob’s bedroom! Laryssa’s plan to elevate Andrew’s popularity really was working, there was no question about it. Rob didn’t let any guy into his bedroom before, and now he was giving Andrew cart-blanche to go right in, which was mind-blowing to me. The coolest guy I knew was letting a beta male bring some girl into his bedroom. Before closing the door, Andrew turned around and gave a thumbs-up to Rob with a smirk. I looked across the room and saw Rob reciprocate back to Andrew with a thumbs-up of his own.

Rob then saw me, shocked at first, quickly looking back at his bedroom door, which was now closed, then back at me. Walking over to me, I thought my best friend would greet me with open arms, but I was wrong.

“You should go,” Rob said to me, without a hello of any sort. I wasn’t sure why he asked me to leave. His tone of voice suggested that he was saving me from something. I obeyed and immediately left, not wanting to disrespect his wishes.

Laryssa came home a few hours after that, and much to my shock, when I asked where she was, she revealed she was at Rob’s house. I told her I was there briefly and didn’t see here there. I wondered why Rob didn’t tell her I was there, or tell me she was there.

“Where were you, anyway?” I asked her, eating.

“Oh, I was with Andrew for most of the party.” She responded, grabbing some water from the fridge.

“Lucky him. I saw him take some girl into Rob’s room.” Laryssa was quiet after I said that for some reason, reading my expression.

“Shit, I forgot my watch there.”

“Oh, I’ll get it for you, where is it?”

“It’s on Rob’s nightsta—never mind, I’ll grab it tomorrow or ask Rob to drop it off.”

“Okay,” I said without putting any thought into response.

My friends began to question my manhood after Laryssa and Andrew started spending so much time together without me. I tried to tell them that she was just trying to boost his popularity, but word got out that I walked in my wife shaving my buddy’s big balls. In fact, people began referring to Andrew and Rob as the “Big Cock Bullies”. The origins behind that name went over my head, but apparently, I had a lot to do with why Andrew was given that title.

Before long, Andrew was being invited to all the outings I normally attended. Strangers introduced themselves to Andrew as his popularity grew. Everyone wanted to meet the kid who got more attention from Laryssa than her own husband. When I walked by people I heard snickers. My own friends did their best to avoid eye contact with me, as if there were embarrassed for me. It was like Andrew and I traded places – Laryssa’s association with my tag-along friend made him as popular as Rob, while I became what Andrew used to be. In the eyes of most people, Laryssa chose Andrew over me. How ridiculous!

One day I tried to call the guys to invite them to a movie I wanted to see, but they all had other plans, including Rob and Laryssa. I went to the movie alone that day, and my heart almost stopped when in walked the guys who all told me they were busy. I sank down in my chair and luckily, no one saw me as they went further back. I pondered sneaking out when I saw the last four of the group to enter: Rob, Sara, Andrew, and my wife! They almost walked past me, but Andrew spotted me, elbowing Rob, and pointing at me. They both laughed and walked down the aisle behind me, sitting right behind me, pretending I wasn’t in front of them. Rob made some comment loudly about how he just stepped in piss in the men’s room.

“I hope this guy in front of me doesn’t smell it,” Rob said while laughing, making the others laugh with him.

I turned around to break the awkwardness. Sara and Laryssa were surprised to see me, while Rob and Andrew looked down at me with smiles on their faces. A flush of inferiority washed over me once again. It felt like the cool kids were giving me the time of day, and I didn’t know what to say or do. I looked over at Laryssa wondering why she didn’t tell me her other plans” involved my friends.

“He invited me first, sorry!” Laryssa silently mouthed to me, while Rob and Andrew whispered mischievously behind me. Suddenly, Andrew stretched his legs out on my shoulders.

“Eh…take them sneakers off, will ya buddy?” Andrew asked me, although it was more of an order than a request. After taking off his dirty sneakers, Andrew told me to take a whiff of them. Rob was smiling ear-to-ear looking own at me while Laryssa was on the edge of her seat waiting to see what I would do.

“Fuck you, dude,” I said to Andrew.

That was a big mistake on my end. Andrew grabbed his right sneaker and put the shoe’s opening right up to my nose and mouth, shoving my face into it. As I tried to get up, Andrew’s put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me right back in the seat. He stretched legs back out on my shoulders again. Seeing I was doing nothing to stop him from picking on me, Andrew rubbed my cheeks with his socked foot, and I could feel Andrew’s skin through the holes in the base of his socks. When I turned my head to say something to him, his socked toes filled my mouth.

“Stop,” Laryssa said, with Rob’s laughter overwhelming her voice. “You’re destroying him!”

She was saying the right thing, but her tone of voice and lack of action suggested that she was as entertained as Rob was.

“Eh…just another day at the office-ah,” Andrew responded fist-bumping Rob like a total bro. Man, they looked cool together. Two alpha males that I was lucky enough to be in the presence of.

I guess Rob and Andrew didn’t find the movie particularly interesting because popcorn was constantly being flicked at my head from both their directions. It was Sara’s turn to stop Rob from picking on me.

“Aw, but he’s doing it too!” Rob said, his boyish laughter egging Andrew on.

Halfway through the movie I was picking kernels out of my hair, when I caught Rob and Sara move to an empty aisle on my left. Andrew and my wife stayed behind. Sara must have gotten tired because her head fell into Rob’s lap, face-first as soon as they sat down. Rob must have been shaking his legs because I could see Sara’s head bob up and down a few times. Rob, too, must have been bored out of his mind, as his head was cocked back, and his eyes were closed. His big hand was gripping Sara’s head delicately like he was holding her hair up.

I couldn’t concentrate because Andrew and Laryssa were making weird noises behind me. The sounds of slurping and swallowing distracted me. I threw out my popcorn, because once those wet suctioning sounds stopped, something squirted into my popcorn bag. It was as if Andrew had squeezed a bottle of whatever white liquid he was drinking, and shot it right into the bag. Whatever the thick gooey liquid was, there was a copious amount of it. Andrew laughed upon realizing what he did, but also seemed out of breath, which was strange because all he was doing was sitting still. I heard Rob grunt loudly from his seat after that, and Sara put her head back up, wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt. I saw Rob give Andrew the thumbs up after that, turning around and seeing Andrew zipping his jeans up before giving Rob a thumbs-up right back.

Andrew and Laryssa were driving me crazy. When they were together they sat close to each other, whispered to each other…and when Andrew saw me looking at the two of them, that notorious smirk of his would make my heart skip a beat. I don’t know what it was about that smirk, but it oozed confidence, even cockiness, traits Andrew hadn’t exhibited until my girl started spending time with him.

My wife talked about my beta-male friend like a schoolgirl talking about her crush. I overheard Laryssa telling her friends about “his pouty bubblegum lips” and how she “needs both hands just to hold it”, although I’m not sure what she was referring to.

My wife was supposed to only pretend to be Andrew’s girlfriend, and it was only supposed to be for a few hours on one night. I didn’t foresee them hanging out beyond that night, and the fact that she was spending so much time with my tag-along friend began to make me jealous. The rumors and gossip about the two of them were having an effect on me, making me feel inadequate and insecure. Further, the way Andrew and Rob treated me – like a third wheel tagging along with the cool kids – began to make me envious. Andrew’s popularity accession was at the expense of my reputation, my love life, and my social life.

New Year’s Eve was approaching, and I had made arrangements for several friends and me to spend the night in a luxurious suite. The room was paid for months in advance, my treat. The idea was for a bunch of us to hang out until the countdown, with six of us remaining in the room to sleep in three different beds after the ball dropped. One bed was reserved for Andrew’s brother, James, and his girlfriend, Amy. Another bed was reserved for Rob and Sara, and of course, the third bed was for my wife and me.

Laryssa said she would meet me at the party, and when she arrived, Andrew was with her. Rob had me running up and down the stairs bringing in cases of beer, food, and anything else we needed. I had assumed Rob was contributing in his own way, but each time I dropped something off in the room, all I saw him do was greet and socialize with everyone who showed up. By the time I was finished bringing everything up, the room was almost full, with very little room for me to stand. To add insult to injury, all the running around left me a sweaty mess in my dress clothes. I couldn’t use the shower in the bathroom, as the tub as filled with ice and beer bottles. I didn’t bring a change of clothes either, so I had to endure being a sweaty mess at my own party. Andrew took advantage of my appearance and used me as comedy bait.

“Eh…what smells-ah?” Andrew loudly asked Rob.

“Uh…I dunno” Rob replied, nodding his head towards me, without looking at me.

“Eh…you’d think he would have least showered before showing up-ah,” Andrew said to Laryssa.

I was so angry at Andrew at that moment – I didn’t even invite him to the hotel room that I paid for. He was drinking beer I was kind enough to bring up. You would think he would show some gratitude, but instead, he got a few laughs from the guys by making fun of me.

I brought up my frustration with Laryssa, who told me it might be a blessing in disguise. Seeing how awkward I was standing by myself (no one wanted to hang out with the sweaty guy), she suggested I go home and shower. I told her that by the time I returned the ball-drop would be over, but she assured me she was in good hands with Andrew. Suddenly, the ‘Big Cock Bullies’ approach me and handed me a gift-wrapped box.

“We feel bad we didn’t get you anything for Christmas,” Rob said to me, an ear-to-ear smile on his face. “So, Andrew and I put together a little something for ya.”

I didn’t know what to say, feeling like the two of them were extending an olive branch of sorts to me. I opened the box and found two separate bags inside. As I did, a familiar scent teased my nostrils. I ripped open both bags simultaneously, and my smile turned into a frown. The bags contained a bunch of dirty socks.

“Eh…one bag contains my socks worn this week, the other bag contains Rob’s socks,” Andrew said to me, reaching into the bag containing his socks.

“Merry Christmas, buddy,” Rob said, trying so hard to contain his laughter. The second I opened my mouth, Andrew grabbed the back of my head with one hand and shoved a dirty sock into my mouth with the other. Rob could no longer hold his laughter back. My best friend was laughing in my face while my tag-along buddy was humiliating me in front of everyone…again.

I ran into the bathroom, not wanting to show my face, not knowing what to do, hoping that Laryssa didn’t see what the boys did to me, although there was no way she wouldn’t at least heard what happened. I lost track of time, and when I heard everyone could down to midnight, I bolted out of the room to find my wife. She was on the other side, near the window, and when the clock struck midnight, something even more humiliating happened. She kissed Andrew right on the lips, making my dick twitch inside of my pants. Rob, who was kissing Sara, saw my growing erection from the corner of his eye, and once again, he couldn’t hold back his laughter. He knew I was getting a boner looking at my wife and my tag-along friend kiss.

I was so embarrassed that I took Laryssa’s advice and made my way out the door. I figured Rob could deal with the party’s arrangements. Laryssa ran over to me with one of my feet already out the door, telling me she couldn’t find me anywhere. I told her that I saw her kiss Andrew, and instead of hiding it, she seemed happy that I caught the moment.

“His first-ever New Year’s kiss.” She said to me, beaming. I convinced myself that the kiss was no more than that – a ‘when in Rome’ moment. After all, it was New Year’s Eve and my wife was just trying to make Andrew feel better about being single on New Year’s.

“By the way, where were you?” Before I could answer, Andrew walked up behind me.

“Eh…he was beating off in the bathroom sniffing my socks-ah.” Andrew joked, making everyone laugh once again. Andrew put his hand on my shoulder and shoved me out the door.

“Dude, don’t forget these!” Rob shouted while tossing the bag of dirty socks at me. My alpha male friend made the jerk-off motion with his fist to Andrew before the door closed in my face. The last thing I saw was Laryssa mouthing “I’ll call you” to me. I guess that was her way of saying she was going to stay at the party, and quite frankly, I was glad. I was beyond humiliated, and couldn’t face anyone at that party.

I went home that night, stinky socks in hand, furious about the events that transpired. A good night’s sleep made me feel better, though. I began to think about recent events. With my wife’s help, Andrew turned his life around for the better, and he had ended the year by changing his life for the better. He was one of the guys now, and that was a good thing. I realized I was being too negative and made a conscientious effort to change my perspective on the whole scenario.

Laryssa came home early in the morning telling me she had the time of her life. She wouldn’t give me any details, likely not to hurt my feelings since I wasn’t there, but she told me the night was big.

“Huge, actually.” She stressed. “Sooooo fucking big.”

Before she was about to get some sleep, Laryssa let it slip that my friends were hanging out at a local diner for a post-New Year’s breakfast before heading home. I knew the place, so with my wife in bed, I got in my car to meet with them. Once I got there, I spotted the boys and walked over to them.

“Aw, let’s get outta here,” Rob said as soon as he saw me coming, standing up before I had a chance to say hello. “Look who’s coming.”

“Eh…we saved you some-ah,” Andrew said to me when I reached their table. He pointed to the leftover food on some of the guys’ plates.

“Take care of that, will ya?” Rob said to me, thumbing to the bill on the table. “Thanks, buddy.”

With that, the boys got up and made their way out, talking among themselves without even acknowledging me. The waitress came to the table and handed me the bill. I took it, sat down, and began eating whatever was uneaten on Rob and Andrew’s plate. If I was going to pay for meal, I might as well have a taste of it, I figured.

Rob invited Andrew and my wife to his cottage, where he was staying with Sara for the weekend. I couldn’t make it because of my schedule, not that I was invited. Rob usually invited Laryssa and I to join him, whatever girl he was with at the time, and occasionally another couple. Andrew being invited instead of me spoke volumes about where Rob and I stood, friendship-wise.

I managed to get out of work and surprised everyone at the cottage by showing up stag, but Rob was not thrilled to see me, telling me I should have called. Laryssa got up and made me feel even more unwelcome by saying how rude it was to show up uninvited somewhere. Andrew just looked at me like I was blocking him from something he had planned. I offered to leave, feeling unwelcome, but surprisingly, Rob insisted I stay.

“Well, now that you’re here, we might as well make the best of it,” Rob said, winking at Andrew, and grinning devilishly. Suddenly, Andrew grinned right back at him. The tidal wave of inferiority I was getting used to feeling suddenly was a full-on tsunami.

Rob told me to put my bags in the kiddie room, which had bunk beds. I asked him if my wife and I could have the queen bed in the bigger room, but he told me she already had it. He told me that I was staying in the kiddie room or I had to leave, so I didn’t press the issue. I assumed I was staying in there with Andrew, but I couldn’t find his luggage anywhere. I went to drop something in my wife’s room, and surprisingly, Andrew’s stuff was unpacked inside besides Laryssa’s stuff.

I told my wife that Rob put me in the kiddie room, assuming she was going to say, “don’t be silly, you’re sleeping with me”. Instead, she said she would have joined me in the bunk beds, but Rob gave Andrew one of the bigger rooms with the big bed, and he invited her to sleep with him. I asked her if that would be awkward for her. When I brought up my inconvenience, she told me I was the one who showed up spontaneously, so I shouldn’t expect the royal treatment. Laryssa also told me she was having a good time without me, implying I should give her some space. I felt like she was on vacation from me at that very moment. Worse, I felt like she was spending that getaway with Andrew by choice.

That night, feeling ostracized yet again, I got really drunk while I was there, to the point where I felt like I was going to pass out. I felt like my wife was giving all her attention to Andrew, even sitting on his lap right beside me around the campfire. At one point, I got up to take a piss and fell right down, the clothing I was wearing blending into the leaves. I was too drunk to stand up, and could barely muster out a word.

Rob and Andrew walked over to where I lay, not realizing I was on the ground. They both lit up a cigarette and began talking…when it suddenly went silent. I then heard them both mischievously laugh before walking over towards me.

“Eh…man, do I need to take a piss!” Andrew loudly said to Rob. I opened my eyes and saw him unzipping his jeans, taking out his big white cock and pissing right on my face, making Rob laugh harder than ever.

“Aw, can I get in on that?” Rob chuckled.

“Eh…go right ahead!” Andrew replied, just as amused.

Just like that, Andrew and Rob – my tag-along friend and my best friend – were pissing right on my face and laughing at me as they did it. I was too inebriated to move, let alone talk with the dry mouth I had. I assumed they didn’t know I was the target of their piss. I also didn’t want them to feel bad about accidentally urinating on my face.

I couldn’t sleep that night. Sara was wide-awake in Rob’s room shouting things about something being “TOO GODDAMN THICK” while the bedsprings bounced. In Andrew’s room, I could hear Laryssa talking and giggling between the walls. She, too, mentioned how something was “SOOOO BIIIIIGGGG……” before headboards began pounding the wall. I assumed they found a bug and were in the process of killing it. No surprise in cottage country.

I was spearheading a major project at work and made the decision to relocate, as the commute was taking hours out of my day. I managed to find a 1-bedroom on a sublet agreement for a month, right across the street from the work-site I had to be at. I thought I would have to do a lot of convincing to Laryssa about me temporarily not living with her, but much to my surprise, she was all for it. If anything, she encouraged me to move out of the house for a while.

Needing some company, and knowing that Andrew needed a place to stay (his brother was moving in with his girlfriend), I invited my tag-along friend to stay with me for the month, rent-free. I told Andrew he could sleep on the couch and suggested he use the month to find a place of his own. However, when Andrew arrived at the apartment, he began putting his things in the bedroom. When I told him the bed wasn’t big enough for the both of us, he chuckled without even looking at me, as if I said something ridiculous.

“Eh…you’re hardly gonna be here-ah.” He said to me. “Makes more sense that I take the bed since I’ll be here more.”

I should have put my foot down at that moment, so he would know who the man of the house was, but I bit my tongue and accepted his rationale.

“Makes sense.” I nodded in agreement to Andrew. “Besides, like my wife told Sara, apparently, you’re sooooo much bigger than me.” That was a reference to something I overheard Laryssa say recently, though truth be told, I didn’t know what she was talking about exactly. I just wanted to make it look like I was part of the friendship developing between Andrew and my wife.

Besides, Andrew wasn’t that much taller than me, anyways. He was about 5’10”, maybe 5’11”, while I was 5’9”. He was stockier, though. Maybe my wife thought was thicker than me? At any rate, Andrew didn’t reply to what must have sounded like an idiotic comment. I walked out of the bedroom embarrassed while he got his room in order. Andrew walked out a moment later with a pile of laundry, tossing it into my hands.

“Eh…make yourself useful and take care of my laundry, will ya?” Andrew said to me.

“Are you kidding me?” I replied. I was nice enough to let him stay with me, without him paying rent, even giving up the bed and the bedroom, and now he wanted me to do his laundry?!

“Eh….nope-ah,” Andrew replied, giving me a second look like he I was out of line questioning his instruction.

Since Andrew and I were going to be roommates for a while, I decided to kick off our living arrangements by bringing over some beer. Attempting to make Andrew comfortable living in my apartment, I handed Andrew a bottle and turned on his favorite show – WWE Raw. Suddenly, Andrew’s phone went off. He began having a conversation with whoever was on the other end. It felt like he was relieved the phone rang like he wanted to talk to anyone but me, as if I was the neighborhood loser, and not him. I eavesdropped a little at the end of his conversation, hearing Andrew say, “don’t worry, he ain’t tagging along-ah”, making eye contact with me and chuckling.

“Who was that?” I asked upon hanging up.

“Eh….that was Rob-ah,” Andrew replied with a smug look on his face, grabbing his sneakers.

“What? Why was he calling you?”

“Eh….he invited me out.”

“Just you? Why would he call you and not me?”

Andrew just grinned while tying up his laces.

“I guess he’s gonna call or text me the address in a bit,” I said out loud, trying to convince myself. “He say who else is going? And where we going, anyways?”

“Eh…going to your place. Your wife invited Rob and Sara over, Rob invited me.”

“Oh…well, let me grab my shoes, I’ll come with.”

“Nope-ah”, Andrew said, picking up a pair of his dirty boxers from his pile of dirty laundry and sling-shotting them at my face. “Eh…you got work to do. When you’re done, you can watch wrestling and drink alone.” Andrew snickered at that last sentence.

It was humbling. The neighborhood loser was hanging out with my wife and my best friend without me, while I stayed home and did his laundry. I wasn’t invited to a get together at my own house.

Rob never called or texted me. I tried calling him but he wasn’t answering. While doing the laundry, I took initiative and unpacked some of Andrew’s things, as I wanted to be a gracious host. I’m not sure why I did, as I should have been an authoritative roommate, but I just went with the feeling.

Once I finished Andrew’s laundry and unpacking, I decided to crash whatever fun was going on at my house. The reason I assumed no one invited me was because I had just moved out, and they probably didn’t want to make me feel bad knowing they were having fun without me.

When I walked in the front door, I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.

The door faced the front of the couch, and on it were Rob and Andrew. Music was playing loudly so they didn’t hear me come in. Sara was in Rob’s lap, they were dry humping. My wife was on Andrew’s lap, she was whispering something in his ear and he had a smile on his face, which turned into a look of irritation when he saw me standing before them.

My wife asked why I was home. I didn’t know what to say, so I just said I forgot a few things. Andrew didn’t say anything to me, he had this look on his face like I had just blocked him from something. I grabbed a bag and picked up a few random items to make it look like that’s why I was there. After about five minutes, Andrew approached me and asked if I had what I needed. I told him I did.

“Eh…good. Now get out-ah.” He ordered, which made Rob laugh. I laughed too, nervously, feeling like a fifth wheel. Laryssa kissed my cheek, while Rob walked me out. I think he sensed how awkward I was feeling. The alpha male took initiative and made small talk with me as we walked to the door.

“Alright, I gotta go, dude,” Rob said smiling mischievously as he nodded to the girls. “Gotta get back to our bitches, ya know?” Before I could say “bye”, he closed the door and locked it shut behind me.

Andrew didn’t come home that night, and when he did the next morning, he smiled upon seeing me make breakfast. He grabbed the toast I was buttering for myself and took a bite.

“Wow, long night, huh?” I asked him, curious about what they all did at my place, without me.

“Eh…yup-ah.” He replied, wiping his buttery fingers on a shirt I had on the chair, which I was about to wear. “My laundry done?”

“Yeah, it’s on your bed, folded too.” I realized by calling it his bed, I solidified the fact that I wasn’t sleeping in that bed for the duration of our stay.

“You’re learning.” He said, giving me a thumbs-up before walking into his room and closing the door. He didn’t even thank me.

Andrew was moving out of the apartment he shared with me. He gloated while telling me he got a bigger place, and he was eager to move out. His life was getting better and better and mine was getting worse.

I was able to pack his stuff quickly because all his things were exactly where I put them when I unpacked his stuff the night he moved in. He was a bit of a slob. I’d make his bed because I can’t stand un-made beds (and because he cornered me for coming home to an unmade bed on the first night he moved in. He made me make the bed with my mouth gagged with his dirty sock).

I called Andrew to let him know I had his stuff all packed, and it was all ready to go. I thought I misunderstood him when he told me I wasn’t done yet. When I asked what he meant, he “reminded me” that I needed to deliver and unpack his stuff to his new place. I told him that was too much, that I had things to do on my day off, but he was under the impression I would take care of all the moving duties. He also convinced me that, since I finished packing his stuff early, I had plenty of time to drop them off. He was right, of course. I just needed the address. He chuckled before telling me to come to my place, which is where he was when I called.

Made sense to me, all I had to do was carry his boxes into a van I rented, pick him up at my house, and then the two of us could to his new place together. I decided to call my wife before leaving and let he know I was on my way.

“…hoo….hooold on, fuck your hands are big…hello?” Laryssa answered, out of breath.

“Oh hey honey,” I said, oblivious to what she was doing that was so strenuous. I was the one moving boxes, what could she possibly be doing. “What are you doing?”

“…nothing…. oh god…. don’t stop….” Laryssa replied.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“…. sorry honey, bad timing…. aren’t you supposed to be moving Andrew’s things…”

“Yeah, I was just calling to let you know I’m on my way home, baby. Seriously, what are you in the middle of?” My wife laughed at that comment for some reason. I also heard Andrew’s heavy breathing, strangely quite close to the phone.

“I’ll see you soon, honey” was the last thing she said to me, but she didn’t hang up. She thought she did, but she was clearly too distracted to notice. All I could hear was muffled up talking and laughing right after the conversation ended. It sounded like Andrew making fun of something. My wife started breathing heavily, almost to the point of squeals. Man, whatever they were in the middle of, it was really making her happy. I had never heard her sound so…satisfied.

I could hear a banging sound in the background. It was rhythmic, as the sound of bouncing springs were paired with what sounded like wood banging against a wall. The sound of the springs sounded very familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I decided to hang up the phone, as it sounded inappropriate to eavesdrop on whatever my wife and my tag-along friend were doing together.

Just lifting the boxes into the van left me exhausted. It had been a while since I’d been to the gym. By the time I had the van loaded, I drove straight to my house. When I walked in, my house looked unfamiliar, like some things were moved around. The bedroom door was closed and I could hear talking inside. I opened it and saw my wife in bed. She was damp like she had just been through an intense run. I couldn’t figure out why all the windows were fogged up. And the air…there was something in the air…

My wife was under a bedsheet but quickly sat up when I walked in. I noticed that Andrew only wearing boxer briefs and a t-shirt and that his jeans, socks, and shoes were on the floor right beside my wife’s blouse and skirt.

I was about to ask what they were doing before Andrew raised his voice at me, which told me I was fucking up somehow. He was saying that I was sweating all over the bed, prompting Laryssa to shoo me off. I apologized for being so wet and explained that I had single-handedly moved his stuff. I told Laryssa I was going to have a quick shower before taking Andrew to his new place. Andrew stopped me and told me to just bring all his stuff inside, which confused me. I made my way towards the bathroom, but Andrew sidestepped me.

“Eh…don’t make me tell you again…” Andrew said to me with a raised eyebrow. Over my shoulder, my wife let out a sensual moan as Andrew kept talking. “You can use the shower when you’re done, but you’ll need to scrub the tub clean right afterward-ah.”

“Yes, Andrew,” I said instead of questioning his instruction. “Whatever you say.”

My wife moaned in the background once again, this time breathing heavy. I caught Andrew giving her a wink and grin as if he was pushing her buttons somehow.

As I brought Andrew’s boxes inside, Laryssa – who put on one of Andrew’s t-shirts, told me she decided to let him keep his stuff at our house. There was plenty of room, so I didn’t see the harm in it, and quite frankly, I didn’t want his stuff crowding my apartment. Andrew put on his pants and directed traffic, telling me where specifically to put his stuff. I was confused when he told me to unpack his clothes in the master bedroom. I realized most of my stuff was in the apartment, so there was plenty of room in our closets for his stuff, but I didn’t understand why his clothes were staying at my house.

Andrew jumped in the shower as I was unpacking, and I kissed my wife goodbye a couple of minutes later. I texted Andrew on my way out to let him know I was done and encouraged him to make himself at home at my place.

“What’s mine is yours, Andrew!” I texted my tag-along friend.

“It certainly is,” Andrew replied, wink-face emoji. I felt like Andrew wrote that comment with a smirk for some reason.

I drove back to my place, looking forward to reclaiming my apartment. It was going to be a little empty without the neighborhood loser living with me, but I was happy to having the entire place to myself, and not attend to Andrew’s needs. I’m sure he was just as happy, if not happier, with all the room he would have in my house.

As I sat back on the couch, beer in hand, I got a text from Rob, who send it to “all”, meaning everyone in his contacts list.

“Party at Andrew’s new place tonight. Don’t invite the foot-fag.” The text read.

“He’s off your contacts list, right?” Someone mass-replied.

“Oops.” Rob mass-replied. “Fuck ‘em, he’s off now.”

Strangely, no texts came in after that.

THE END