I’m blown away. More blown away than Boris Johnson will be after his handshake with a water cannon.

Talk about this game, Hype this game, Buy this game. This is what the game industry needs. This game looks to be a well balanced mix of other game mechanics and new innovation.

Think of it as a magic bean, we want to nurture it, water it, let it grown and we can do that by throwing are money at it. Even if these magic beans ended up growing into a massive green planty penis, it will show the games industry that we want magic fucking beans, not the same can of fucking Heinz but with the label washed off and a new one stuck on saying “Call of Heinz: Advanced Beans” because I don’t want to open it up to see the same beans I’ve seen for the past decade.

The Nemesis System: Putting the magic, back into the bean

Nyaaaahh I like this. Its new, its shiny, its Innovation! Its something that hasn’t been done before, at least not at this level and it has so much potential. Firstly hearing “every player will have a unique playthrough” sent a shiver through my spine, and not a good one, the shiver that you get by hearing the words “I’m pregnant” or “you’re bank balance is £0” or when you hear one direction. Why? Because its not going to happen. Those words are usual followed by a randomly generated number of skins, but this looks different. While you may hear

“I’ve killed you before”

“You killed my [orc name], prepare to die”

A dozen times, I do believe each play through will be unique, there are multiple ways to get to the end point, enough to make things different. I’m sure I will fuck up plenty of times the first play through.

Countries should be run the way this game is made

Pick out the best beans, add some magic ones, find a decent chef and BOOM, a mindblowing risotto. Who doesn’t love the parcour from assassins creed? Who didn’t clean up a bit of ejaculate after playing the combat in Batman Arkham: Asylum?Nerds are still being sent to A&E after they got they dick stuck in the Skyrim CD due to the open world and characters in it.

There is nothing wrong with taking the good shit and mixing it together. The only problems is, if the best beans turn out to be not-so-great, the magic beans only produce penis plants, or the chef is yet again intoxicated, than this game will be a flop. But if Monolith have managed to make the decent combination, then I’m going to wolf down their creation until I’m so fat I need google earth for my passport photo.