A/N: Sorry! It's been over a month, I guess, since I last updated, so let's blame school and my horrible habit to procrastinate. We are currently nearing the end, but don't panicccccc, elsanna is end game :3 As always, thank you for your patience and for reading, especially for my beta! Thank you for everything, sedryn!

I flinched away as Olaf pressed a cotton ball full of rubbing alcohol on the corner of my lips.

"Sorry," he whispered, while I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and downed a large gulp. Trails of the brown liquid dripped down my chin.

Shaking my head, I shut my eyes at the burn from the wound. "Continue," I wheezed, gripping onto the bottle. The pain in my shoulder lessened, yet I could feel still feel the sting. I knew this wouldn't be fading away for some time.

An hour before, I'd called Olaf. Being alone wasn't the best time for me… after what'd happened, and I needed someone to talk. I sat on the floor, leaning against the window with little to no strength, mental or physical. As much as I wanted to call Anna (I'd been staring at my phone, pondering with pursed lips until it'd gone dead), I realized it was not a good time.

Of course, we were both very unstable. But I worried about her more than anything. Gods, perhaps she'd be crying at this moment and I wouldn't know.

Olaf looked at me warily and tried again to clean my broken lips. The way his eyebrows furrowed and his grey eyes shimmered, made me question what he was thinking at this moment. As a friend, he'd hide too much inside.

I grabbed his hand.

"I know what you're thinking," I began, strangely with a soothing tone.

His lips pursed, embarrassed.

"What happened, right?" I shook my head in shame, and looked down to my lap with the guilt that had burdened me. I let go of him, head turning away from his questioning pupils. "What happened, doesn't matter now. Well, not anymore, I should say."

He glowered. "Elsa—"

"She doesn't deserve this."

"Neither do you, Miss," he sighed, continuing to clean my lips and put a small bandage on it. Gently, after, he took my collar and paused. "May I?"

I hesitated, but I nodded and he unbuttoned my shirt, going around to the back. I felt him staring while the cloth drifted down half way. At this point, I couldn't care less about what he was doing.

His fingers ran down my scar. "Does it hurt?"

"No."

Olaf gave it a bit of pressure. "Now?"

"A little."

"You'll be fine, Elsa." He lifted my shirt in place and came in front of me.

I looked at him with the eyes of a little girl, and his sunshine smile glowed in the night.

He's too good to me.

And neither did I deserve his kindness. Perhaps, his love. Damn it, I did not need him to love me—the person that I was. But with the way he was, he'd gladly use anything that'd convince me that I did indeed deserve every little bit of him.

He wiped away a tear away that I'd never notice.

"Please, have some faith. You've always been strong, I need you to be stronger, can you do that, Miss Snow?"

I looked down from him, my hands held together. My discouraged look was contrasted by his smile - strong, determined. Oh, but I'd given up and the determination was nothing, other than an emotion that I'd haven't felt for a long time.

Please don't look at me this way.

Taking a deep breath, it was a no brainer that I needed to listen to him. To anyone, as a matter of fact. At this point, I'll do anything.

"I will."

Like the sun, he was bright and warm—and I was pressed into his arms tightly.

I stared blankly over his shoulder and hesitantly, I patted him in the back. On the inside, the darkness and pain were restrrained and a lightness took over my heart. At times like this, all I needed was to forget and find the joy deep inside of me.

The joy that Anna had given me, since the first day, was nothing but an empty emotion. It was a cover up for the hurt we'd caused on each other. But we enjoyed it—desired it. And I craved for it more than anything else, now that I was without her.

He let go of me and turned to the locked door behind him. "Your grandfather wouldn't want you to be like this."

"I know."

Olaf sighed, patting me on the shoulder. "Well, it's late. Would you like me to stay overnight?"

I pondered and wondered if he was alive, he'd treat me the way Olaf did. My grandfather wasn't always the kindest person to anyone. I was glad the night sky hid the tears in my eyes. But who was I kidding? Olaf knows me more than I do, myself.

He peered down at me. "I'll stay—"

"Anna's engaged."

The words left him in shock, but he showed no weakness. But I could see it… all through his eyes. He looked exposed. Weak. Confused, perhaps. And most of all, the shining in his eyes was now gone, where there used to be contentment, now was sadness It was heartbreaking, and my chest ached. It'd always been hard to see someone with such a kind heart getting torn apart.

He sighed, eyes away from me and towards the bright streets. "I'm sorry." His voice was small. It was a pity, really.

A small smile formed and I was too in distraught to look at him in the eyes. "You should go. I'll be fine."

"Really?"

I tilted my head. "What else could you do to make me feel better…?"

"Talking… If you'd like, we could talk all night… drink all night to get rid of the pain—I'd gladly do this with you, Miss, if it's to make you forget."

My lips pursed together, fingers latched tightly with each other. My fragile, thin body tensed. .

What can I do?

What mustn't I do?

Oh, what else could I be doing, that wouldn't hurt anyone else? I'd done enough, and I'd taken all the burden—all the blame. But it never bothered Olaf.

He stared with compassion, waiting for an answer that he knew was obvious. Sighing, Olaf nodded while I showed all my vulnerability to him. "Okay, well… if you need anything, please call me. Get some rest, Miss."

"I will."

He turned to the entrance and stopped half way. "And please," he pleaded. "I'd rather you not't think about what happened. Promise me that."

"I can't do that, Olaf." My eyes stared tensely into his.

His eyebrows crossed and my heart throbbed painfully. Was I being too unreasonable?

"Then… make sure you have a good night sleep."

Olaf left, as the door slowly shut behind him. After holding my breath for as long as I could remember, I let it out. . Leaning back, with my head down, and hands over my eyes, I pondered about calling Anna. I wanted to explain myself. To apologize.

But who was I kidding? Anna wouldn't trust me—never again, perhaps.

And I was the girl who cried wolf.

Sighing, I looked up to the ceiling, emptied from any hostile emotions and ill thoughts. Maybe, Olaf was right. I'd only hurt myself more if I continued to think and beat myself up. This wasn't good.

Moments later, I found myself in Belle's room with a white cardboard in my hand. I assumed that Belle hadn't taken all of her stuff.

I looked around the dark room that brightened immediately as I turned the light on.

The glass table on the corner was filled with books, and a Macbook with its background dark, and colorful flows of light swimming on the screen.

I laid the box on the ground and sat behind the table, taking a picture frame in my hand. Ah, we looked so happy.

Belle and I were together, and she pounced on my back, my palms gripping onto her hand. We were smiling and laughing—I couldn't remember where we were, but I knew we had a fun time. I grinned sadly, fingers gliding on her face as if she was here.

Not the time, Elsa.

Quickly, I put it in the box neatly, along with the books on her table. Gods, I didn't know she could be this messy too. Though, she was quite an intelligent woman and the sharpest person I'd known of. It wouldn't be a surprise if she'd stay up all night to read the book she really loved. I chortled inwardly as I picked up the book that I'd seen her reading most of the times.

It pained me to see it lying here with me.

"Beauty and the Beast…" I read from the red cover, marked with golden words. Between the pages, a bookmark stood out. I turned the pages and immediately, something fell to the ground along with the bookmark.

Picking it up, my skin crawled at what was written on it and my fingers trembled. My heart sank to the bottom pit of my stomach, and it seemed impossible to lift it back where it belonged.

"Je vais attendre…" –Adam, 2/1/14

"Je vais attendre…" I repeated, words forming so gently and weakly. I turned the paper around and I shattered into pieces, and my eyes widened. I was a blubbering mess. Belle had her lips on his, looking very much in love. Whether I was relieved or quite shocked or… rather, pissed, I wouldn't know.

I put the picture in the box on top of the pile of books, and closed it. I stared at the box, bewildered, as if the objects inside were screaming for an out. But now I wondered—surprised that the feeling of disgust was gone—what did Belle had to do with Hans?

I had little to no doubt that they were together. I knew it.

Getting up, I picked up the box and set it into my room. I stashed it in my closet, giving it one last look. I despise it.

Yet, the boiling anger that I'd expected to form inside of me was gone. How could this be? Belle… had been seeing someone that I didn't know of. No, it didn't matter anymore, now that we'd broken up.

Sliding the door closed, my whole being plopped down on the bed and fingers ran through my messy braid and fringes that covered my eyes. Now, I just didn't have the energy to talk to Anna. This was the time where we needed time to think… and time to reflect on ourselves and our actions. This wouldn't be the first time—and I doubt this would be the final time.

I shut my eyes slowly, letting out a breath of exhaustion. But I worried. Oh, I worried about Anna's well being, alright. But what could I do, other than to wait… to stop assuming things that may/may not be true?

Who am I to say that she can't marry someone she loves?

My subconscious flew in, and I was told I was a nobody. I agreed.

Yes… I trusted Hans to be a respectable, loyal, faithful person—I'd seen it in his apologetic eyes that day-and I'd depend on him for Anna's safety. He would not do such a thing—cheating—to hurt Anna like this. It was cheap.

I'm fucked up…

I put my hand to the metal string that met with a ring in the middle. I held it tightly, breathing into relaxation.

But if he did… I wouldn't be able to forgive him… I had been forgiving many times, but with this… I'd be relentless. Even if it hurt Anna, to have her leave because of what I would do—then so be it.

"He wouldn't…" I whispered. "He promised he wouldn't…"

I knew it.

"Anna? Anna, what are you doing?!" he shouted, hugging me tightly from the back to prevent me from throwing more of my clothes into my luggage. Tears streamed down my cheeks, my heart pounding at a rate that would be impossible to count. I grabbed his arms tightly, and pushed him away.

He stared at me, wide-eyed. As if I'd gone crazy.

"Anna…"

Quickly, I pulled the ring off of my finger and threw it to him. "I don't need this, here's your fucking ring," I whispered, my voice hoarse and trembling and I'd been played with. God, at this point, I might as well go crazy. I'd rather do that!

He picked the ring up from the ground. Hans was terrified. "W-What… Anna, why are you doing this?" Coming up to me, he ended up getting pushed again, even harder, and slapped in the face.

He didn't stir, hand to his cheek. "Anna…"

My lips trembled, cheeks flushed and god, I couldn't take this anymore. I was done. "Don't touch me…" I wrapped my arms around myself.

"Please…" he begged. It didn't matter anymore. I couldn't care less how fucked up his emotions seemed to be. "Please you have to tell me—"

Slap.

"STOP LYING TO ME!" I screamed and out of anger and heartbreak, I kicked my luggage. Instantly, he pulled me into him and his arms squeezed around my body hard. He didn't care for the slap—my words must've hurt him more and he was numb. I wept loudly, my hands laid atop of his arms. Reddened and harsh scratches trailed down his skin, and small dots of blood trickled out. I began struggling but I knew I had no chance of getting out of his grip. "DON'T TOUCH ME! FUCK YOU! I don't deserve this… I don't…"

"Anna, you have to tell me what I've done!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

His arms loosened and I immediately took a turn. My palm was almost right across his cheek, until he grabbed my wrist, tight in his hold.

"Stop it." He muttered, teeth gritted together into a threatening manner. He growled, his grip tightening until I could feel my bones getting crushed. I winced, as his fingers pinched into my skin. I trembled. He looked fearful… angry… but also confused. It was laughable. When had become like this—Preferably, why was I such a goddamn mess?

"What are you going to do to me…?" I snarled. His eyes turned and immediately, his menacing stare grew soft. His face turned pale, lips trembling.

"I'm sorry…" He let go of me.

Unbelievable.

"Why?" I prompted. My wrist was bright red, marked by his fingers. This is disastrous

His eyes gleamed in tears. "Why what?"

"You… You cheated… With who? W-With…" I laughed. His confusion was ridiculous and I was relentless. "Who, Hans?" I held my wrist. "And why?"

In disbelief, he glared at me. I should've felt bad but… I wasn't. Shaking my head, I wiped the remainder of my tears and picked my luggage back up. "Whatever. It doesn't matter, I'm going—"

"Anna, I… I don't know what you're talking about. Please, just calm down, and we can have a talk—"

"Elsa told me everything." I looked up at him, closing in on him—I could feel his heavy breathing, his body shaking. His eyes trembled and dilated. Whether it was out of fear… anger, I didn't care. We were both within that range, and never had I accused him in such a heartbroken manner. Never had I cried like this in front of him.

My palms wrapped into tight fist, dark eyes in the night staring back at his glaucous eyes.

He sighed, and closed his eyes. "Elsa… right. I should've told you this earlier—"

My eyes widened. I choked out, "What the hell did you do—"

Hans looked down, his hands on his hips. He nodded, at the thought… of whatever he needed to say. Of course, as hard I as I knew it would be, I needed to listen. "Right, Belle." He put his hands up. My heart dropped and my voice was taken away and the only thing left was a whimper. I covered my mouth.

"No, just listen to me, Anna." He grabbed my hand. "Just listen… I promise you, whatever Elsa told you, it's not true. I don't know what she saw—what she said, to make you believe that I'm cheating…" He pursed his lips and squeezed my hand. Somehow, it's comforting and warm. Quite the contrary. "It's not true."

Oh, why, did I trust him so easily? What difference did Hans and Elsa make? I used to be controlled by Elsa… and now, by him, with his mastery of words. I used to be, and still were, a naïve person. I wanted to change, badly, to forget.

But of course, the answer was- their own person.

Perhaps, I'd been too sensitive and too trusting of a person.

I backed myself up. "I'm listening."

"She… probably saw us in the club a few days ago right?"

I nodded.

"Anna, Belle and I… she found me first, a week ago in the same place. It was a mere coincidence, but she saw me talking to you on the phone and… we started talking about you… Elsa… and our life."

Frowning, I couldn't figure out if I could trust his words. But he sounded so sincere.

Either way, perhaps, he was just an amazing actor.

I started hiccupping. "Y-You two—"

His arms embraced me, his lips on my forehead, but I pushed him away. "N-No, you don't get to touch me until we're clear on this."

"Anna!"

"Don't 'Anna' me! I don't know… what… w-who I can trust anymore. Even… even before Elsa and I broke up, I suspected many things."

Hans sighed with frustration. "Belle and I… we're just friends. Fine, acquaintance then. Oh, Anna…" I started crying harder, my face in my hands. I'd always thought I was strong enough to stop this. How could I be such a crybaby?

Hans tried again to hug me, and I couldn't keep myself away. I started pounding him on the chest—not as hard as I thought. I was too soft on him. Gods, what is wrong with me?!

My tears were falling onto his shirt freely. "D-Don't fucking touch me…" Immediately, I pushed him away with all my might. He looked at me, his eyes filled with hurt and unshed tears.

He swallowed and dropped his arms.

"Anna, I promise you I'll never do anything so horrible to you…" he whispered.

What could I say? A part of me knew, he wasn't that kind of person… but Elsa… No. Elsa wouldn't lie, she was only mistaken, with what she saw. And yet, I accused her—God, I could never be forgiven for slapping her. She didn't do anything wrong. This was her way of looking after me, and she didn't say a single word that'd do me harm.

I'm an idiot.

"Do you trust me?" Did I?

"I…" I sighed, and I was shaking with unneeded emotions. "I should… call Elsa."

"Anna…"

My eyes blurred away his desperation. "Please go."

"Anna please—"

I turned my back to him. "Get out, Hans."

. Hans stayed in his spot, trying to compromise with me but there was nothing else to say. He sighed, fingers in his hair. "Okay, well… I'll see you in bed when you're ready. And here's your ring." He placed the ring by the bed. "Tonight's… just been rough for the both of us. I'll give you time and space." The door clicked shut. I quickly let out the breath I'd been holding.

How could I do this? Letting this happen… this wasn't me. Not at all.

Falling back on the bed, the soft mattress made me relax. I could stay here all night, staring up to the ceiling and my body limped comfortably. It warmed me.

And the clock ticked silently and quite slowly. But the longer I waited to call Elsa, the more hurt she'd be. The more she'd be worried.

Unsettled, I sat up.

Perhaps, she might be doing the same thing as I am right now.

Fuck, what was I waiting for?!

I grabbed my phone and called her. At the same time, I knew this wouldn't be the right time.

Screw it, I won't get a chance after this if I don't do it.

My heart stopped and I was still—tensing all my muscles at the sound of her quiet voice. She's… crying? I heard sniffles, her throat clearing a few shuffling of feet and papers. I paused. It was an agony to wait, and my chest ached terribly. And in my mind, I saw her alone and in tears.

Oh, what have I done?

"Elsa… it's me."

She remained silent, but I'd never expect her to answer me back. She's angry.

I looked down at the shimmering ring, shinning bright. The thought of her being quiet and stubborn… and… it was horrifying. I shut my eyes and closed my fist.

"I'm sorry, Elsa…" Gods, what else could I ever say?

My throat felt tight, trying its very best to hold down the desperate cries. I did not deserve to be sad—I need to be with her. I was guilty and I pitied her. How could she be so selfless… so caring, yet so appalling the same time? Was this the result of us being together with such molten hot desire and shattering love? Ah, so this was what I'd done to make her crumble—to make her feel so low?

She deserves better.

Tears spilled down my cheeks and I choked through the rippling sobs. I held my phone tight, my legs brought up together to my chest.

"Elsa, I-I'm sorry for hitting you…" I sighed.

Still nothing.

"But you were wrong… Hans and Belle… they were just friends."

"Friends…" Well that got her.

My eyes blurred with tears. "Y-Yeah, friends… Elsa, y-you were wrong—"

"I'm sorry, Anna."

The three words tugged on my heartstring hard, and even harder when I heard a long, quiet sob. I shook my head, and with the back of my hand, I wiped away my tears. "N-No," I chuckled, sounding gratingly. But I couldn't deny the fact that this was both ours fault.

"You were right to slap me. I knew."

"W-What?"

She sighed, exhaustingly. "I was cleaning up her things, moments ago… you're right. Belle isn't with Hans. She's with someone else."

Oh, what could I say? How should I be feeling? Her voice was soft and I knew, at this point, she had given up. Elsa didn't have the energy for anything now. Though, I couldn't blame her for feeling this emptiness. She must have been so numb to any feeling for so long.

I pursed my lips together, bringing my feet up to the bed. Right now, this wasn't the time to talk about Belle. She'd given me advice, and I was grateful. Befriending her… or should I say, making an acquaintance with her, seemed quite embarrassing I trusted her with Elsa. I should've known, she was this type of woman.

"H-How's your shoulder? I pushed you pretty hard."

She paused. It kept my heart from beating. "I've had worse pains. It's quite alright."

What's with that tone?

I didn't quite like it. My eyes glared. "You don't sound okay."

"Neither do you."

"I've hurt you and I feel guilty, of course I'm not!"

"As did I, Anna."

Was she this tired that she had no way of getting pissed?

I gulped. "And I've said some pretty horrible things to you. I shouldn't have."

God, what am I, an idiot?

"I lied to you, so I'm assuming we're even now."

Hopefully. I nodded and tucked my knees under my chin. "Please be alright. I can't… I can't have my best friend stay like this forever."

She let out a soft chuckle, but I doubt she meant it. Even so, she wouldn't want me to worry so… I wouldn't. "To see that you're alright, it'll give me relief. I'm happy that I can still be called your best friend."

"I know." Silence. "I um… you know, Elsa… Despite everything, you know I loved you too."

Too.

I felt her smile on the other end. "As did I."

"But I love him, Elsa. I love him too and... and you can't—"

"I can't stop it."

It hurt to hear that coming from her. "Right," I answered quietly. We'd seem to given up on each other "We can't help the past, just… just let it go. I loved you once upon a time, isn't this enough?"

"It's more than enough, Anna. And I've let go a long time ago. But please, I beg that you let me continue to love you."

And slowly, I broke down to soft tears, and muffled cries of hurt. Yet, my heart seemed to have let go of something of its entirety—but it was trying its very best to hold this something down, to savor it, to keep a part of it. But perhaps, it was a mistake to fall in love with a person filled with kindness, but also ugliness. How could she be so desperate? To have my love… the warmth… The two things I'd most wanted from her from when we were so madly into love—I couldn't even call it that—lust with each other.

As I cried my eyes out, she was calm. On the inside, she must've dying and breaking into pieces I felt horrible.

Well, this was the least I could give her—the love that she couldn't return, and I wouldn't allow it. Perhaps, because I was afraid to separate us even more than we were.

I nodded. My eyes were red, face flushed and my lips lifted tightly into a grin. "Okay… okay, you can do that."

The next time we met, was three months later in March in the Big Apple. The airport crowded with people with luggage, and conversations that grew louder as Olaf and I neared the entrance. Yellow taxis were lined up by the streets in the JFK Airport. Everyone seemed exhausted from their flight. The day was freezing, and looking outside, it was cloudy with dark, snow puffs of greyness. The flakes of whiteness drifted down lazily and melted as soon as it landed on the ground. I knew the winter would be harsher there than in LA. At least, the airport was warm enough for me to shed my clothes off.

Ah, the five-hour flight had seem to make me lose my mind.

Anna's wedding was in a week and I… was her bridesmaid. Those three months had gone by faster than expected. But I was excited and more than happy to see her dream come true.

Each skype call during these months always ended with a few tears and a huge smile on her face. I was glad.

"M-Miss, wait!" Olaf hurried up behind me and I smiled widely.

"Not paying attention to where I'm going and you'll get lost," I said as he came beside me. I grinned cheekily.

"I've always been precise on where I should be going." He puffed his chest out proudly.

I checked my phone as we walked towards the glass door, Olaf holding both of our bags.

"Well, perhaps, I'm sure you'll know exactly where to go now, don't you, Mr. Nelson?"

"Of course."

I sighed at his chortle. He'd been happier and I was thankful to see him glowing again. "Where is she meeting us?"

"Miss Smith said she'll be in front of the entrance."

I raised my eyebrows and turned to him. "Just call her Anna. She'd said this before, yes?"

He chuckled, gracefully. "Miss, I'm used to calling her that now."

"Then get used to calling her Anna, too, Olaf." Things… just need to change.

He grinned widely. "Of course, ma'am."

My phone quickly rang, and I immediately knew it was Anna. I grinned timidly. "Elsa Snow."

"Elsa! It's cold out here, hurry up! Are you even out yet?!"

I grimaced at her loud voice and decided to play around with her a little bit. "Hello? Who's this?" I frowned. "You shouldn't be able to get this number."

"It's me, Snowflake!"

"Snowflake?" I tilted my head. She hadn't called me that for a while. "I don't know anyone who's called Snowflake, goodbye."

She groaned. "It's Anna!"

The glass door slid open, just as I hung up and she was right in front of me, clicking her phone off. "God this woman—"

Her eyes stared right back into mine in astonishment. Gods, it couldn't be compared to the joy of seeing her. And she'd looked different… her hair was down… beanie on her head… and she was bundled up. Beautifully… or rather, cute.

Cold steams of breath seemed to freeze along with the time, but we continued to stare. No words could describe how wonderful it was to see her—how my heart stopped right there and then.

I missed her.

She grinned delicately as I admired every little bits of her face. She seemed to have matured. Perhaps, even more after the last time we've met.

"Miss Smith, how are you?" Olaf smiled, bowing his head low.

She turned to him, "Better than ever," she giggled. "It's nice seeing you after so long, Olaf." She leaned into hug him.

"A pleasure to see you too, Miss—" He pulled away. "I mean, Anna."

Anna was filled with delighted and looked at me I hadn't have her look at me with such longing and adoring feeling. It warmed my heart and body in this cold weather. I miss this.

"Both of us are glad to see you, I'm sure. May I put this in the car?" He gestured to the luggage.

"Oh, of course. Hans' in the car, maybe you'd like to have him help you?"

He shook his head. "This isn't a big concern." Easily, he grabbed the bags and lifted it into the car.

But I couldn't help but to stay in that very spot, staring at the glowing shine of Anna. The snow had even made her more than beautiful than ever. I blinked as I noticed her smiling back at me with her hands folded together.

"I thought you hated staring."

Smiling slightly, I tilted my head. "I've… always been fond of the way you look. There's no helping it."

"Hans will get jealous."

"How many times have you made me jealous?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh? So you admit it?"

"I'd admit anything at this point."

Anna laughed and came up, with her arms around me. I hugged her back, snugged into her , pressing myself on her neck, leaning into her arms.

Sighing with content, she pulled back and got a good long look of me, her hand squeezing mine.

"Hi, Elsa."

I grinned happily. Yes, she was more beautiful than ever.

I missed you.

"Anna."

We have 3-5 more chapters left. Oh my god, I can't believe after over a year, this bby is about finished :') I'll miss writing and planning this.

And I hate to promote here on this site, but go check out my recent fic "In the Night". It's incest... half-incest... idk, but go do the thing! I've written an incest fic before and it was a disaster *coughs* who the fuck read "Don't shut me out" bye *coughs* so ye, I'm sure my writings much better now, so go do the thing!