Trevor MacDonald, a slim man with short silky, dark brown hair, a radiant smile sandwiched between a wispy moustache and goatee, sits bare-chested in a leafy Toronto garden, his infant son sucking gently on his tiny left breast.

In the photo, shot on a recent visit to the city from his Winnipeg home, Trevor blissfully cradles the boy, contentment visible in his soft features. This is a proud papa breastfeeding his 16-month-old child, just as he has done many times before.

Trevor, a 27-year-old stay-at-home parent, loves fatherhood and, as a transgender man, identifies as a dad. And he loves breastfeeding, owing his confidence and comfort nursing to his La Leche League Canada (LLLC) motherhood support group in Winnipeg.

In early June Trevor wrote a letter to LLLC — an affiliate of the influential international mother-to-mother breastfeeding advocacy group — asking what it would take to become a group leader. He wanted to coach LGBTQ members and those who struggle, like he did, to breastfeed after chest reduction surgery.

LLLC rejected his inquiry seven weeks later, citing an 18-year-old policy: “Since an LLLC leader is a mother who breastfed a baby, a man cannot become an LLLC leader,” the organization wrote in its reply, which is posted on Trevor’s blog, Milk Junkies.

“You told me that you do not identify as a mother,” LLLC continued. “You are your baby’s father. According to LLL philosophy the roles of mothers and fathers are not interchangeable. I think that this would make it difficult for you to represent LLL philosophy.”

Not interchangeable. Those words resonate strangely to a transgender man. For Trevor, who said he was “disappointed” by LLLC’s refusal, the terms motherhood and fatherhood are, at best, quaint.

“First and foremost I identify as a parent,” Trevor said. “I suppose I use the term (fatherhood) because it’s what we have going in our society, not because I think it’s fantastic or I think it’s really accurate.”

(On his blog, Trevor uses “MacDonald” as a pseudonym to protect his family’s identity. He calls his son “Jacob” and partner “Ian.”)

Fiona Audy, chair of the board of directors at LLLC, refused to discuss organization policy in an interview with the Star. But she insisted the group’s decision was not based on gender.

“This has made us all stop and think,” Audy said. “This is the first time in 55 years (of LLLC history) this question has come up. La Leche League is about supporting parents who wish to breastfeed their babies . . . and we don’t want to get drawn into a discussion about gender issues, which is not our focus. This is not about gender identity or (Trevor’s) choices in his gender.”

The group’s philosophies are contained in its 54-year-old best-selling how-to guide, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. A leader requires at least nine months of breastfeeding practice and a conviction that breastfeeding is “the optimal way to nourish, nurture, and comfort her baby,” according to LLLC’s website.

LLLC’s rejection resists a trend among fertility care providers — such as reproductive health-care and abortion clinics — to treat parenting in non-gendered terms, said Andy Inkster, a health promoter at Toronto’s LGBTQ Parenting Network.

“Many providers who offer fertility and birth care have been challenged to rethink their practices as being client-centred rather than only women-centred,” Inkster said, noting the Association of Ontario Midwives, which has a transgender people-specific policy.

“Maybe it’s La Leche’s turn now.”

Trevor, who was born a woman in British Columbia, began transitioning four years ago. Testosterone treatment thickened his vocal cords and enabled him to grow facial hair; later, surgery to remove chest tissue shrank his breasts.

“I didn’t know at the time of the surgery I’d be breastfeeding a baby,” he said. “Early in the pregnancy we thought we’d be formula feeding.”

He said “bottom surgery,” replacing his vagina with a penis, was too expensive.

After consulting his endocrinologist, Trevor quit testosterone treatment about six months before getting pregnant in July, 2010.

Toward the end of his pregnancy, unsure if his reduced breasts would allow him to breastfeed, but aware of the health benefits and curious to find out, a big-bellied Trevor nervously attended his first LLLC meeting. LLLC support meetings can cover all aspects of breastfeeding, from identifying whether the baby is full to dealing with clogged milk ducts to weaning.

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He told the women-only room about his transition and his passionate desire to nurse. He still finds it hard to believe he was welcomed with open arms.

It was Trevor’s LLLC leader who coaxed baby Jacob into latching on to the new father’s nipple. Four days after the birth, when it became clear Trevor couldn’t lactate sufficiently, he turned to a supplemental nursing system: a bottle with a long, narrow tube filled with donated milk. Trevor wholeheartedly credits LLLC with helping Jacob suck simultaneously from his father’s breast and the tube.

“I can nurse him to sleep when he is wild yet far beyond exhausted, and latch him on to calm him when he’s had an unfortunate adventure with the corner of a coffee table,” Trevor writes on his blog. “When I attend La Leche League meetings nowadays, I am able to give advice to brand new breastfeeding parents. If a new mom worries that she doesn’t have enough breast milk . . . I can share my story.”

Trevor said his tight-knit Winnipeg LLLC group sees him for what he is: a breastfeeding parent.

“It’s about the baby and what he needs,” Trevor said. “My chest looks male, but breastfeeding doesn’t feel to me like an exclusively female task. It’s a traditional mothering task, but to me it’s parenting.”

LLLC acknowledges Trevor has ample experience breastfeeding, as well as providing peer support. But the organization believes his mothering knowledge would not be put to appropriate use as a leader. Audy, the LLLC chair, refused to discuss specifics.

“He would be more helpful outside of La Leche League,” she said. “We’ve suggested Trevor would be able to support parents in other ways other than becoming a La Leche leader.”

Mary Lynne Biener, a Toronto lactation consultant who has worked with several trans dads and supports LLLC, suggested the organization might not appreciate the complexity of gender in 21st-century society.

“When people have babies, well, you got to feed the baby,” she said. “Trans parents and trans fathers want the same opportunities to do that, the same as anyone else would.”

In the wake of the rejection, Trevor, with Biener’s help, is starting his own Skype-based LGBTQ breastfeeding support group and has since attracted more than 100 members to a related Facebook page.

In the meantime, he said LLLC’s black-and-white approach must change.

“I think allowing a transgendered person to become a leader is the next step to reflecting the diversity of experience that’s out there,” he said.

jtapper@thestar.ca