Entire country voting Ukip, reveals new poll

A poll conducted by 53 Year-old Miriam Knox from Stroud has revealed that everyone she talks to is voting Ukip.

Mrs Knox, who published the poll on Facebook, said her survey showed that Ukip are on course to pick up 100% of the vote in next year’s general election.

“Absolutely everyone says they’re voting Ukip,” she revealed.

“My entire family, people I speak to at bus stops, comedians from the 1970s, former Saturday Superstore presenters, everyone!”

The news that their support has dwindled down to zero has come as a major blow to the other party leaders who had previously made the mistake of looking at polls conducted by leading survey companies.

Mrs Knox received strong backing for her findings, gaining ‘likes’ from Sheila at the post office, her husband and David Coburn MEP.

UKIP voting intentions

Commenting on the poll, Sheila at the post office, said: “You’re absolutely right, Miriam. Ever since I started stocking copies of the Guardian in bear traps, all the people who come into my shop tell me they’re voting Ukip.”

Ukip deputy leader Paul Nuttall said that the poll highlights that Ukip are winning the argument.

“It’s impossible to stand at a bus stop these days without entering into a discussion about Immigration, the EU and foreign aid,” he said.

“The fact that everyone Miriam speaks to intends to vote Ukip just proves the strength of feeling amongst people on the number 46 bus between Stroud and Brockworth.”