Bill Donohue, the leader of the Catholic League and a man who once feverishly spread the message that condoms increase the rate of AIDS transmission, has a new message:

Because if you don’t believe a Canaanite Jew walked on water, rose from the dead, and speaks to you in your head it must be you who is insane (not that being insane is a pejorative – this coming from an insane person).

“They don’t like those three dreaded words in the Hebrew language “Thou shalt not.”

We like them fine when there are sound moral ideas behind them. Don’t kill? Awesome (which is how we know the multiple commands by god in the bible to kill people for non-crimes are barbaric and wrong). Don’t steal? Fucking great. Don’t molest or rape children entrusted to your care? Hell yes! Which is why we wish the Catholic Church wouldn’t shield perpetrators of such crimes. Don’t be a hypocrite? Of course! Which is why we look askance at the Vatican for telling people of the virtue of living humbly while living in a palace. You get the gist.

What we don’t like is when a government that is supposed to be representing all citizens equally let’s Christians put up a religious display on government property and says “Thou shalt not” to everybody else. Then it’s many believers who don’t like being told no, they can’t make second-class citizens of their neighbors.

“Which is why they die prematurely…”

This is unadulterated horseshit. Just look at the numbers for average lifespan by state. You’ll notice that the more religious the state, the closer they are to the bottom. Maybe the handful of atheists in those states are all dying fifteen minutes after birth for some unexplained reason. Or, more likely, Bill Donohue is once again full of shit.

“They’re less happy.”

Yes, because without sitting through a boring ass mass once per week (or more), parting with 10% of our income to an organization bound to use much of it to settle cases where priests raped children, and having pre-marital sex about as much atheists but with huge amounts of guilt, all wrapped up with a the bow of having the fear of hell dangling over your head your entire life, how could anybody be happy?

“American Atheists, when do they have their convention every year? On Good Friday.”

Yes, because that’s the day Catholics go to mass and nobody else is allowed to hold events. Well Bill, the Catholic Church doesn’t own any particular day.

The end of the interview flashes the Catholic League’s response billboard to the American Atheists one. Bill Donohue complains constantly about atheists attacking Catholics. While the American Atheist billboard says religious beliefs are essentially fairy tales (which is true), Donohue’s billboard compares advocates of church/state separation to members of ISIS beheading Christians:

But remember, even though atheist die earlier, are less happy, and more likely to be insane – and that those advocating for equal treatment by the government or saying a person’s religious beliefs aren’t true (I’m sorry, “Christian haters”) are similar to mass murderers, you need to feel sympathy for Bill Donohue because of all the “attacks” pointed his way.

What a simpering hypocrite.