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Ok... so, in my movies.txt file (where I keep my list of movies I need to see) was a gem I didn't think I'd get to see anytime soon. Here's how it appears in the file:



Pom Poko (raccoon balls... testicles... movie)



A bit weird, you might say? Well, you see... it's accurate. Pom Poko is an anime film from Japan about shape-shifting raccoons with magical balls.



I shit you not.



And it was just on Turner Classic Movies tonight. It's actually pretty Emo, I gotta say... reminiscent of some Rankin Bass shit.



You still don't believe me about the magical testicles, do you? Well... allow me to show you then:







Yes. That really is a scene from Pom Poko involving raccoons using their scrotums as parachutes. You still don't believe me, do you? Look... where is that skin connecting back to the raccoon?



This is a CHILDREN'S CARTOON.



You know what happens right after the scrotum parachuting? The raccoons' balls swell up to enormous proportions, and they divebomb riot police. They divebomb riot police, and then the raccoons PUMMEL THE COPS WITH THEIR NUTS.



I know this is hard to imagine. How could such a fantastic film have slipped past you all these years? Well, let me tell you, it has... and you will come to thank me for finding it for you.



I'm telling you, that's their balls. In many other scenes in the cartoon, the raccoons are sporting big Peter-Griffin's-chin BALLS between their legs.



It's on again tonight. TCM. 1:45am. Pom Poko.

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