“What a turn of events.”

Steven and the Stevens is my favorite episode of Steven Universe. Is it really any wonder that this is my second-favorite?

Hit the Diamond is essentially perfect. I could watch it every day. Just as Steven and the Stevens captures the core essence of the show’s four leads, Hit the Diamond is all about celebrating the new status quo of the Crystal Gems being an expanding team with Steven, who spent so long as a follower, leading the way. It’s an absurd breath of fresh air after the tension of the Cluster Arc, and it’s just so much fun. And all of it relies on staying true to these characters, old and new alike.

Consider that of all the Gems we’ve met in the present, only three (Jasper, Yellow Diamond, and Yellow Pearl) are missing from this ballgame. That means Lapis and Peridot, of course, but it also means Ruby and Sapphire, who for the second appearance in a row get to show up in a non-crisis scenario; and unlike The Answer, this is the version of Ruby and Sapphire who are in a comfortable relationship. Hell, this episode is so breezy that Peridot’s safety hinges on Ruby and Sapphire’s inability to stop flirting.

One of my favorite aspects of Hit the Diamond is how trolly it is. The title indicates cosmic plot developments, and it comes at the heels of invading rubies heralding a new Homeworld-centric arc, and the first act is the Crystal Gems freaking out at being discovered, but nope! We’re just playing baseball! This isn’t the first cartoon to pull a home run baseball episode out of left field, but it manages to stand tall alongside what I consider the premier example: Samurai Champloo’s lunatic baseball-as-colonialism masterpiece Baseball Blues.

As with Steven and the Stevens, we get a terrific sense of what defines these characters in a nutshell. Steven is the leader whether or not anybody realizes it, himself included. While his plan to play baseball is ridiculous, the result evokes one of my favorite expressions: if it’s dumb and it works, it’s not dumb. Amethyst is rash, suggesting an ambush and showing off her spindash despite their paper-thin disguises. Pearl seems to be high and mighty, playing the game well and showing little patience for Peridot’s neuroses (“Oh honestly, you call everyone a clod”), but she cheers Amethyst on during said spindash, revealing that she’s not so above it all (and as a bonus: she and Amethyst have a better relationship than in Steven and the Stevens). Garnet is wry and terse, but gets a moment of doofy laughter upon fusing before putting her guard back up. Peridot remains the most nervous megalomaniac we could hope for, but with a new sense of camaraderie befitting the self-styled leader of the Crystal Gems.

Ruby and Sapphire at first seem to be your standard anxious/serene duo, with Ruby choking several times in her spy mission and Sapphire calmly reassuring her. But as the game commences, and the two get their flirt on, we see that Ruby is capable of Garnet’s smooth cool, while Sapphire can tap into Garnet’s passion and violence. They get so lost in themselves that Coach Steven needs to crack the whip a little, and in their game-ending fusion Garnet acts like they’re reuniting after months apart despite only having separated earlier that day.

As in The Answer, we see Ruby characterized in comparison to other rubies, and this time she’s not just unique next to a pair of generic soldiers. I can’t imagine how much fun the studio is when Charlyne Yi is voicing six distinct rubies (seven if you count the fusion, five if you can’t count), and even in our brief time with them we get a sense of how inept they are in their own special ways. If I had one complaint about the episode, it’s that I would’ve liked to have Steven’s nicknames appear in-show to help designate our six new characters; in fairness, it would probably mess with the pacing, but names beside “the angry ruby” or “the confused ruby” or “the leader ruby” would go even further in characterizing these surprisingly well-realized grunts.

But come on. Lapis is the star here. Jennifer Paz steals the show with her desert-dry delivery, going full Daria while the rest of the cast ups the goofy stakes of a goofy episode. Shock factor alone made me crack up so hard I had to pause the episode the first time I heard her legendary “This plan sucks,” considering this medium typically refuses to go further than “stinks” on the pseudo-swearing spectrum. Her bluntness is amazing, but I love that she’s not a one-dimensional disaffected youth (who’s thousands of years old): she does sorta get into the game after a while, giving the tiniest grin at a catch and a shrugging high five to Ruby after Sapphire’s homer. It doesn’t outweigh her snark during the rest of the episode, but it’s enough to see that she’s still capable of unironic happiness here and there.

While not focused on too much within the episode itself, Hit the Diamond goes a long way in easing the tension between Lapis and Peridot. We get to see Lapis mildly impressed at Peridot’s betrayal of Homeworld early on, but more important is that even though she thinks the plan sucks, Lapis sticks her neck out to help the person she just spent an episode arguing with. It might be an enemy-of-my-enemy situation, where Lapis sees the rubies as the lesser of two evils, but she had every right to just sit this one out, and instead she plays ball.

As with Log Date 7 15 2, it’s hard to talk about a lot of what I like about this episode without devolving into “X was so funny,” because there are so many hilarious moments here that are better experienced by rewatching the episode rather than me summarizing them. But a highlight is Steven’s interlude with Peridot during the game, because it not only gives us a moment with the only Gem who isn’t playing, but the gag (Steven badly lying about how the game’s going only to be immediately called out) reflects growth in their relationship since Gem Drill. There, Peridot demands Steven to tell her everything will go great, and when he does, she immediately berates him. Hit the Diamond’s joke is similar, but the punchline is Peridot angrily thanking Steven for being so considerate. He’s learned that she enjoys being reassured even when she knows things are going wrong, and we get this development purely through comedy, and it’s just wonderful.

Despite the fakeout nature of Hit the Diamond, it funnily enough does set up major elements for the season’s endgame and beyond. The Ruby Squad’s return leads to Steven learning the story of his mother shattering Pink Diamond, which shapes the final third of the original series. Samus Aran’s Gunship the Roaming Eye is critical to rescuing Greg when he’s dragged to space, and its absence after Navy steals it back (in an episode where the twist relies on the spacey characterization she displays right here) prevents Steven’s family from getting lost in space searching for him after he goes to Homeworld with Lars. Quite a bit rides on the aftermath this goofy baseball episode.

This is also the last of Steven’s Barn Adventures for the time being, which doubles as the finale of Lapis’s readjustment trilogy. And it honestly is the end of an era, as Steven’s homecoming is met with a break from the heavy serialization that spanned Catch and Release until now. It isn’t fully going away, and we do get a lot of distant sequel episodes (Drop Beat Dad to Story for Steven, Mr. Greg for Pearl’s whole Rose-related arc, Beach City Drift for Alone Together, and Monster Reunion for Monster Friend), but there’s far less urgency and far more hanging out until Amethyst’s arc revs up at the end of the season.

Some fans would rather spend all the time on plot, and I get that, but I find these “filler” episodes (what an awful term for a show that isn’t spinning its wheels to catch up to source material) to be like graham crackers in s’mores: even if they’re not everyone’s favorite part, the premise falls apart without them. If every single moment of Steven’s life from now on was Homeworld lore and discovering secrets, he would cease to be the link between humans and Gems and just be a Gem.

So yes, sometimes it’s important to save the world from the apocalypse, but sometimes it’s important to save your friend by playing baseball. Everyone deserves a break, and now that the planet is safe, Steven and the Crystal Gems are gonna make you smile. It’s time for the Summer of Steven.

Future Vision!

Baseball, complete with the same track we get playing baseball in Hit the Diamond, returns in Everything’s Fine. It isn’t fine!



If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have inconsistencies

Not usually a stickler for animation errors, but, uh, where’s your ruby, Ruby?

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

I do not understand how anyone who likes Steven Universe could dislike this episode.

Top Fifteen



Love ‘em



Like ‘em

Enh

No Thanks!

5. Horror Club

4. Fusion Cuisine

3. House Guest

2. Sadie’s Song

1. Island Adventure