“Dennis, getting ready to lift now is Sergei Akmudov of the Soviet Union. His trainer has told me he’s taken anabolic steroids, Novocain, NyQuil, Darvon and some sort of fish paralyzer. Also, I believe he’s had several cocktails in the last hour or so. All of this, of course, is perfectly legal at the All-Drug Olympics; in fact, it’s encouraged …”



— Weekend Update, “Saturday Night Live,” 1988



LAS VEGAS — It’s time for the NBA to dump its insipid tampering rules.



It’s time for the Wild, Wild West to be made legal, when it comes to teams being able to talk to players on another team — or, at least, those players’ agents. Anything should go, including fish paralyzer, if necessary. At minimum, the NBA should follow Major League Baseball’s rules: The day after the World Series ends, free agency begins and continues throughout the fall and winter. The NBA can and should...