In an upcoming episode of ABC’s Shaq Vs., Shaquille O’Neal awaits the judges’ verdict on his cook-off with Rachael Ray.

When Shaquille O'Neal arrived for his press conference in Orlando, Florida, earlier this week, for a moment it seemed like he was about to make a major announcement. Maybe he was finally ready to reveal which NBA team he’d be signing with this year. But then he walked onstage with teen pop crooner Justin Bieber, and it was obvious that today wouldn’t be a day for answers. It was a day for crazy photo ops. (“Hey look, a really short and skinny white kid and a really tall and muscular black guy are standing next to each other! They’re like a human Russian nesting doll!”)

This was a press conference with the other Shaq. Not the Shaq who’s played for 18 seasons (and counting) in the NBA, with four championships and 15 All-Star appearances, and as of Wednesday is officially a Boston Celtic. This was the Shaq who has wacky celebrity feuds, and sells his likeness to ninja video games and fast- food franchises, and raps about the taste of his asshole, and thought playing a genie in Kazaam sounded like a good idea. He was here to announce his latest non-basketball harebrained scheme/media stunt: starring in the second season of Shaq Vs.

The show, which premiered this week and returns every Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET/PT on ABC, follows Shaq in a seemingly never-ending quest to prove that he’s not just the greatest in basketball, but the greatest in whatever you got! He challenges spelling champ Kavya Shivashankar to a spelling bee, celebrity chef Rachael Ray to a New York cook-off, and eating machine Joey Chestnut to a hot dog eating contest. Coincidentally, narcissistic personality disorder is defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as a grandiose sense of self-importance, in which a person is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success and requires excessive admiration from others. I’m not saying the two things are necessarily related. I’m just saying when a man tattoos the Superman “S” shield on his chest, it’s not as a display of humility.

One of Shaq’s non-athletic competitors this season is Justin Bieber, who agreed to a “singing and dancing” contest with the Diesel (which airs on Shaq Vs. later this summer). Thus the reason for the press conference, which was exactly as bizarre as you might imagine. Shaq joked about their age difference (“I had a career when he was negative 10 years old”), said a little too much about his Bieber fandom (“He makes me wish I was 16 again”), and shared some philosophical Shaq-isms (“A bridge is nothing without the legs”). As for Bieber, he confessed that his favorite color is purple, coaxed Shaq into doing the wave, flashed lots of peace signs, and insisted that singing with Shaq is “right at the same level” as meeting President Obama. (And yes, up close his hair practically glistens. It’s mesmerizing.)

After the conference, I got a chance to sit down with Shaq and talk about his show, among other topics. You know how TV usually makes people look bigger than they are in real life? That’s not in any way true with Shaq. He looks big on TV, and in person he’s like a golem in designer clothes. There’s an adrenaline rush that comes from being in his presence, which I guess is similar to what tornado chasers are always yammering about.

Eric Spitznagel: This singing contest you’re having with Justin Bieber, are you sure that’s a good idea?