Employees took issue with dangerous plastic shards, ice machine infestations, and the “unacceptable Oktoberfest fiasco”

Back in 2016, the Washington Post reported on an Inspector General investigation at the Defense Intelligence Agency which substantiated allegations that former DIA Deputy Director David Shedd had used a Pentagon-provided vehicle as a “personal limousine service.” In the report, originally released to the Post via FOIA, Shedd defended his use of the vehicle, arguing that his 40 chauffeured trips to and from restaurants were necessary because “the DIA cafeteria food is poor.”

As an aficionado of the gastronomical gripes of the Intelligence Community, I decided to see if there was any merit to Shedd’s claim and filed a request for:

“Complaints and commendations received by the DIA about its employee cafeteria(s) from 2011 to the date this request is processed.”

That was in March of 2016. Just last week, after a little over three years of processing, the DIA responded with a release of 110 pages of responsive records. And after reading them over …

as much as I hate to admit it, Shedd might have a point.

Among the more severe complaints levied by DIA diners were raw egg sandwiches …

mouth-lacerating plastic shards …

and meals rendered inedible due to an overabundance of salt …

or in one case, sand.

In fact, the DIA’s cafeteria’s reputation is apparently such that it has generated its own horrific mythos, including the Lovecraftian horror that is “roach in ice machine.”

Fortunately for the sanity of all involved, the bulk of the complaints are far more prosaic, including familiar foodservice frustrations such as bacon envy …

Jamba Juice envy …

and worse of all, waffle envy.

While others are admittedly a bit bizarre but not exactly matters of life and death, such as the unchopped chopped salad …

and the chicken nuggets sans chicken.

Finally, while there’s not quite anything that tops the infamous Jazz Salad Incident, the “unacceptable Oktoberfest fiasco” comes pretty darn close.

Read the full set of complaints embedded below or on the request page, and let us know if you think Shedd’s excuse was legit.

Image via Air Force Medical Service