A/N: I didn't put nearly enough fucking effort into editing this chapter.

I'm genuinely sorry if you've read it.

Shit, I'm sorry if you're reading this now.

(The Battle for Konoha – Midnight)

Minato stood upon the frog giant Gamabunta's back, holding his son, with the Biju containment seal primed. It was only a matter of time before the Kyuubi would be sealed into Naruto, condemning him to a bitter life of a Jinchuuriki. Although Minato knew what life Naruto would lead without his parents, he could not ask another parent to relinquish their child for the safety of Konoha. It was Minato's love for his village that would lead to his untimely demise.

Or so he thought.

Minato commanded his summoned ally occupy the Nine Tails whilst he flashed through hundreds of hand seals, leaving him relying on do-or-let-everybody-die instinct. Having Gamabunta remain still as he placed Naruto on the gargantuan amphibians back, Minato finished the hand seal sequence without error, and began sealing the Kyuubi within his son.

As life and chakra siphoned from Minato, he fell to his knees on the soft of the amphibians back, and slumped next to his beautiful baby boy.

"Whatever happens, know that I love you, Naruto… I know you'll have what it takes to succeed and surpass me…"

And with that, Minato gave his infant a kiss on the forehead, before he drifted away.

'Funny, I thought now would be around the point some death god would show up and sweep me off my feet to the underworld or something.' He chuckled morbidly. He could see the image of the God of Death – the way he'd seen it before, flicker and disappear before his eyes.

(Konoha Hospital – Midnight)

Kushina sat rigidly in her hospital bed, physically and mentally worn out, a rogue tear escaping from her eye. Her only son had been taken from her at birth to seal the Kyuubi, and her husband had to sacrifice his life in order to do so.

Tsunade was sitting at her left consoling her, internally worrying frantically about the wellbeing of her godson and his father... But she had to be strong for Kushina. A teenage Shizune stood to the right of Kushina, monitoring her vitals and trying to hide her stress and worry as well.

Jiyuna was standing at the foot of her bed, ready to retrieve Naruto at any notice after the demon had been sealed.

Earlier that night, the Nine-Tailed Fox had escaped from its seal as Kushina gave birth, the gate between her and the demon's consciousness weakened, allowing it to wreak havoc upon Konoha and wipe out the majority of Konoha's defence force. The Uchiha volunteered themselves as back up but their numbers dwindled swiftly, leaving a small number of theirs in a catastrophe-proof bunker.

Amongst them were a pregnant Mikoto Uchiha, her wife and future clan leader Fugaku, and their 5 year old daughter Itachi. It was that night that Itachi awakened the initial stages of her Sharingan.

Kushina sensed the monstrous demonic presence flare, then suddenly vanish.

"Minato…He's done it…" She said wearily to Tsunade and Jiyuna.

"Tsunade, you need to stay here and administer aid to Kushina, she'll need all the help she can get." Jiyuna ordered, without waiting for a response, as she evaporated into murky water.

Sapped of strength, Tsunade and Shizune fought to keep whatever flicker of life Kushina had burning.

'It's enough that his father's died and sealed a demonic beast inside of him, but I will not let him lose his mother, too!' Tsunade said to herself, quelling all fear as she calmed the fiery redhead down and treated her.

(Back on the battlefield – Atop Gamabunta)

Jiyuna shed a tear for her fallen pupil, and rushed to pick up Naruto. Minato had his right hand over his son's stomach, at the exact location of the seal, keeping the newborn from crying even with all the chaos and confusion around them. Naruto lay peacefully, unaware of his surroundings, his seal alternating between glowing a brilliant blue and a wrathful red.

Jiyuna lifted the Fourth's hand only to see what she thought was Minato stirring.

'Wait… ' Jiyuna was visibly shocked, eyes widened, and hairs standing up on the back of her neck.

"…Minato?! Minato!" Jiyuna shouted, gaining the attention of the Boss Frog.

"The boy's still alive? I knew he was stubborn, but shouldn't the Death God have taken his soul?" To say Gamabunta was shocked would be an understatement.

"If you two don't mind, me and Naruto are trying to sleep here! I'm exhausted!" Retorted the Yondaime. He yawned, stood up, stretched and picked his baby up. He smiled weakly when he saw Naruto sucking on his thumb.

The Hokage stood before Jiyuna with a still sleeping Naruto in his arms, yawning and seemingly unaware that he was alive.

Jiyuna pinched herself on the arm at the scene before her, feeling as if as though her eyes deceived her.

"You're… You're shitting me, right? You pull off a sacrificial technique, survive, and all you have to say for yourself is you're tired?"

"Wouldn't you be?" Retorted Minato after yawning again.

Jiyuna just shook her head sighed happily before grabbing Minato's shoulder, transporting them all back to the hospital.

(Back at the Hospital – 1 AM)

Kushina's vitals had levelled to their normal and she slept lightly for the first time in what felt like a week. She was suddenly awoken upon sensing three chakra signatures suddenly.

'Wait… three signatures?'

Kushina opened her eyes slowly to see Minato's form, along with Jiyuna and her newborn. If she had the energy, she would have let her jaw drop to stupid depths in shock of what she had seen, but settled on staring wide eyed at her smirking, exhausted husband.

Not really knowing what to say, Minato settled upon giving her Naruto, and kissing her chastely.

…Right before his smirking face met Kushina's freakishly strong open palm, sending him flying across the room.

"Yep, deserved that one… " Minato relinquished painfully, before groggily standing up to face her again.

"That's for almost killing yourself and sacrificing our son, Minato!" Kushina scolded him, a newfound rage coursing through her very being.

Minato still said nothing in response. I mean, what could be said? "Yeah, so, I survived a certain death scenario? Our boy will grow up big and strong, with his two loving parents?" Instead, Minato opted to just embrace Kushina and his son in a hug, a stupid grin damn near splitting his already pained face. Kushina let a stray tear of joy fall from her eye; momentarily forgetting her anger at her clod of a wife, and focusing on her child.

"I can't believe we're actually going to be parents!" She whispered into his ear, her rage momentarily subsided. Minato let a few tears fall as he relished in his own happiness.

(Konoha – Over the course of 8 years)

To be born to the two most powerful ninja in the ninja world was no small burden to bear. As a result of this, Naruto received much training, both from his parents, and his godparents.

Although she herself wasn't proficient in performing seal techniques, Kushina gave her son the history of the techniques from the Uzumaki bloodline – as well as teaching the young boy her "home-made" forms of deadly taijutsu.

Minato taught his son many of the Namikaze family techniques, seals and methods for creating his own seals and techniques, as well as diplomacy and the history of the Elemental Nations.

Jiyuna taught Naruto chakra control and elemental manipulation whenever she came around to Konoha, as she had to maintain and monitor her spy network. Due to his age, however, the great Toad Sage was unable to derive a single element Naruto would have an affinity for.

Finally, Tsunade trained Naruto's strength from the age of 5, by means of chakra augmentation and exhausting physical conditioning. By the time Naruto was old enough to join the Academy, he was on his way to matching Tsunade's, much to everyone's surprise. The Slug Sage would later on also take Naruto and his friend Sakura Haruno under her wing for medical tutelage.

During their diplomatic studies, Minato would often bring along Naruto to meet with the clans and their leaders, and to befriend their children. Naruto had made good friends with all of them, especially Hiashi & Hinako Hyuuga's daughter, Hinata. He also made great friends, and later rivals with the second daughter of the Mikoto & Fugaku Uchiha, Satsuki.

Naruto, being the sociable soul he was, would often drag all of his best friends together frequently for games, and later on in their years, friendly sparring, which then turned into training. Even though Hinata was a little shy at first, Naruto's hereditary charm quickly strengthened her confidence, along with Satsuki & Sakura's reinforcement.

Though Hinata's image of a shy maiden would never fade over their years together, just as Sakura would always have a short temper and caring smile, and just as Satsuki would always have her prideful aura.

The blonde ball of energy thought back to when he first met his friends...

(Hyuuga Compound – some years after the Kyuubi's attack)

"They look so cute together!" Minato cried girlishly as the toddlers Naruto and Hinata awkwardly frolicked in the expansive Hyuuga gardens. Hiashi gave a small chuckle and shook her head as she too, watched on.

Silently, the Hyuuga clan representative mumbled something to herself about "keikaku".*

"Hinata – will you be my best friend?" Naruto asked the shy girl energetically, smiling at her as she mumbled something quiet.

"Th-th-that sounds nice, N-Naruto…" She answered meekly, with a blush adorning her pale cheeks. She remarked at his and his father's attire.

There she and her mothers were, adorned in the finest silk kimonos one could buy - and in come these two jovial, jubilant blondes wearing summer/combat gear.

It ended up breathing a nice bit of life into the day of the Hyuuga at the compound, and it certainly made everyone's day better to hear the joyful cries of laughter coming from the two children.

And so they played together as Minato and Hiashi began their discussion of the Hyuuga Elders and what to do with the Branch House...

"Come on, Hinata! I bet if we climb this tree we'll be able to see all of Konoha!" Naruto yelled as Hinata gingerly climbed up behind him, not wanting to dirty or tear her clothing. It was then Naruto noticed a shy, slightly older child standing in a dark part of the garden, watching on.

"Hey, join us! We're climbing a tree!" He implored the young Nejiko Hyuuga, who was floored by the sudden offer of inclusion. She remained impassive, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Yeah, yeah. I can see that." Nejiko stated blandly. She felt a gentle, yet firm hand land on her shoulder. It was her mother, Hizashi's.

"Come now, Nejiko. Enjoy yourself." She smiled at her child, who apprehensively walked up to the tall tree and made a small climb upwards.

Through their years together, Naruto learnt from the Hyuuga children an incident that occurred when they were very little. Kumogakure, in an attempt to steal the Hyuuga bloodline for their own use, attempted to capture Hinata.

Kumo had sent their best ninja on this mission, and only one returned home. The ninja from the Land of Lightning were quickly executed, save for one who barely escaped with her life. She reported back to the Raikage, A, and in turn, she requested one of the Hyuuga bodies as payment.

Needless to say, after a quick, friendly, and neutral "discussion" between A & Minato, the pursuit for the bloodline was dropped, and the sacrifice the Hyuuga would have had to make was nullified.

Some months later, however, insurgents from Kumo sneaked into the compound in an attempt to poison Hinata's mother, Hinako. The assailant's attempt was foiled by the hands of Tsunade, who removed the poison from Hinako's system, and traced it's components back to the lands of Lightning.

The assailant was later caught, and another friendly "discussion" was had between the Minato and A.

The supposed "rogue" ninja was then never seen again.

(Uchiha Compound – some years after the Kyuubi's attack)

Minato had brought Naruto with him to visit the remaining Uchiha within their compound. It was one of their first "diplomatic missions" together. Minato had come to talk to Fugaku about the future of the Uchiha and where they would stand in a still rebuilding Konoha. Naruto stood by his fathers's side, until he saw a girl with odd looking black hair looking downtrodden, playing by herself.

"Dad, can I go play with her?" Naruto ushered Minato.

"I don't know son, you'd have to ask her mother first." Minato motioned towards Fugaku.

"Madam Fugaku, can I play with her?" The young Naruto questioned the acting head of the Uchiha clan.

Fugaku smiled warmly at Naruto's mannerisms. "Of course, she's been looking for a new friend ever since Itachi joined the Academy. Now the poor girl is always either too tired from training or too entrenched studying to play with her."

And with that, Naruto nodded and walked over to Satsuki, who was balancing on one of the edges of a raised garden, in the bare courtyard of a Uchiha household.

"Whatcha doin'?" Naruto asked gingerly, with a curious smirk across his whiskered face.

"Nothin'." came Satsuki's half-hearted reply.

"Do you wanna play?" Satsuki perked up and almost lost her balance at this question.

Naruto jumped up at the edge of a raised garden wall, his heels overhanging the aged walls surface.

"Do you know how to play ninja?" Satsuki countered.

"Yeah, me and my mom play it all the time, but she pretends to lose a lot… Do you wanna play it?"

Satsuki caught Naruto's grin, and jumped down.

"Sure, I'll be the missing ninja, and you'll be the hunter!" And with that, she ran off towards the interior of the compound, with a still-smirking Naruto in swift pursuit.

Fugaku paused in mid-sentence as she watched the two children frolic in the near-empty area, jumping on roofs and leaping from ridiculous heights as if it was nothing. She, with Minato, cast a loving smile to the two friends.

"They might make a cute couple someday…" Fugaku chuckled with Minato as they went back to their business.

(The Haruno House – some years after the Kyuubi's attack)

"So that's what I'm proposing. I came to you two because little Sakura will be attending the academy soon." Minato said as the pink-haired child showed her new friend around their house, showing off her toys and playing some simple games that kept them busy.

Kizashi held Mebuki's hand tightly as they contemplated the idea.

What Minato proposed was an update to Konoha's schooling system, which would adapt to make the students attend until they were 18, as opposed to the previous range of 10-12. This would include even the prodigies of the Academy.

"…You have our support for the vote. It'd prepare the students a lot more for the more medically-inclined roles, too…" Kizashi mentioned thoughtfully, her concerns both erased and exacerbated for her child.

She looked over to them with a smile, however, after noticing the sheer joy the two displayed in playing their games.

"What's the worst that could happen, right?" Mebuki laughed, as she poured herself some more tea, secretly fretting about her daughter's enthusiasm in joining the academy.

(Konoha Shinobi Academy – 1 year later)

A six year old Naruto leisurely made his way to the famed Shinobi Academy, wearing a simple getup suitable for training and combat. On his right shoulder was the famous Uzumaki swirl, and on his left was a symbol significant to his father, that Naruto himself hadn't yet learned the meaning of.

Upon walking in, Naruto saw the hustle and bustle of about 8 others – he was neither late nor early. He recognised some clan children there – which consisted of Chouji, a tired Shino, Kira and Ino, amongst some other, clan-less shinobi.

He caught eye of Hinata and Sakura sitting up the back and smiled at them, as he made his way to take the seat next to Hinata. She saw the warm smile and gave another back to him, the slightest blush gracing her face.

"Hey Hinata! Hey Sakura!" Naruto greeted with his big grin, baring his canines in happiness to see his good friends.

"Hello Naruto." Hinata greeted back with her own smile, blushing a little as she always would.

"Hey Dummy." Sakura teased in a friendly manner.

"Satsuki here yet?" Naruto asked. He didn't notice their eyes shift slightly.

"No, we haven't seen her this morning…" A look of concern spread across Hinata's face.

"I'm sure she'll be here soon, she wouldn't want to miss her first day!" Naruto said as he put a hand on her shoulder.

Satsuki arrived a few minutes later, taking a seat next to Naruto with a tiny smirk on her face. The four of them conversed about their mornings until their teacher silenced the classroom. She was a chunin dressed in simple ninja attire – black pants, long-sleeved shirt and a green flak vest.

"Alright, alright, settle down!" The spiky haired instructor shouted.

After the roll was called, Iruka told the class what they would be learning about during their attendance, and how they'd be sorted into teams when they turned 16, but would still be educated by the academy for one extra year after that, as an aide for speciality courses and classes before they truly became shinobi.

Despite the surge of boredom that would now doubt overtake the class, each student listened closely.

(2 hours later)

Iruka had finished the students' introduction and set them off to lunch. A small gathering of genin garnered under a shady tree and followed Chouji & Shikamaru's examples by laying about and eating their lunches in the peacefulness of the nature around them.

"You guys excited for this class? I can't wait to become a genin!" Sakura asked enthusiastically, hoping to one day become a great medic, like Tsunade.

"You'd better believe it!" Answered Naruto, dreaming one day of being the Hokage and protecting all of those he loved.

"O-of course." Hinata answered quietly, hoping to be the strongest leader of her clan yet.

"Mm-hmm." Satsuki hummed as her thoughts went to her running Konoha and seeing it as the strongest in the Elemental Nations.

Sakura opened her mouth to speak again, but was cut off by the resounding ring of the bell, signifying the end of lunch. The future genin briskly shuffled their way back into class, at Iruka's beckoning.

That was, until the Jinchuuriki collapsed to his knees, a devastating, sudden ache pulsing in his head. Grasping his head in an effort to comfort himself, Naruto let a deep howl of pain. Satsuki could see an eerie red glow emanate from Naruto's belly, where she saw a circular outline of… something.

"Naruto! What's happening!?" Hinata rushed to his side and placed a hand on his back. Iruka, at the notice of Naruto's great pain, yelled out for an emergency medical team. Sakura rushed to Naruto side, like Hinata had. Satsuki stared on at the scene with an expression of deep shock and horror at seeing the pain her best friend was in.

"Mind… splitting… contact… help… me!" Naruto barely managed to choke out. He collapsed onto the ground, his consciousness gradually slipping away. Hinata quickly put his head into her lap, and Iruka ordered Mizuki to usher the rest of the students back to their classroom.

Narutos last sight was the shaken pale faces of his friends looking down at him, tears forming in their eyes from shock.

"…" He could do or say nothing as he slipped into unconsciousness. As he fell, Minato had flashed onto the scene, with Naruto's seal flashing a blue before it went back to a wrathful red.

(…)

After what seemed like hours later, Naruto found himself inside a sewer of some sort, in front of a gargantuan central chamber. Darkness shrouded its entirety, save for a low red glow behind what looked like a massive set of prison bars. These bars had the symbol for "seal" written upon them.

"Hello?" Narutos voice echoed back to him. His head didn't hurt as bad anymore.

A low rumble came from the "prison". The kind of rumble that shook a person to their absolute core. It reverberated against the shallow, endless pool of water and seemed to echo on forever.

Naruto walked to the bars. A sense of dark, primeval power emanated from behind them.

"Hey! Anyone in there?" He yelled. The rumbling intensified, and the red glow brightened to an almost blinding level, revealing the form of a giant, nine tailed fox. Naruto could've taken one correct and wild guess to what the hell this beast was, having heard the old war stories his parents used to tell him.

The fox opened its massive red eyes and studied Naruto, looking him up and down, as if to silently evaluate and judge the boy from a single glance. Naruto stood completely motionless, maintaining stoic eye contact with the legendary creature.

After a brief few seconds of nothing but the foxes silent breathing and odd looks, it scoffed at the blonde.

"Of all the heroes and legends, of all the skilled ninety-nine-thousand-nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine kunoichi in the land, I get stuck with the odd, single shinobi. And a terrible one, at that." The fox stated, clearly unimpressed with the boy. It reclined itself into a lounging position and went to sleep.

Naruto got offended at this, and for a moment, forgot he was talking to one of the legendary Tailed Beasts.

"Hey, what are you saying?" He asked the furry titan in an offended matter, who lazily opened one eye to look at the boy, hoping to freeze him in fear again.

"I pulled you into your subconscious so I could get a better look at you. I'd wager you wouldn't even be able to utilise Chakra Chains efficiently yet. Is this correct?" The fox asked him, seeing the clear relation of Naruto to Kushina. Naruto just stumbled back.

"That's my mom's technique! And… No, but I'm only six! Mom and Dad have been training me since I could walk!" Naruto tried his best to justify his shortcomings to the fox, who still scoffed at the boy.

"You pale in comparison to your parents. You pale in comparison to most kunoichi. Kushina was able to conjure and control those chains when she was only five. " The fox stated, giving a deep, hollow chuckle. Naruto could clearly hear the fox's lack of emotion within the laugh, but decided to reign in his own.

"Look – why do you care? In fact, why the hell are you here in the first place? What would the Nine-Tailed Fox be doing in my dream, anyways?" He asked it. The fox visibly sighed, and its shoulders slumped.

"Minato, if put into this same situation you're currently in, would've figured this out immediately, child. I care because we're bound by seal. I'm here because, thanks to your father, I've been contained to a seal which has used you as its storage." The fox explained slowly, mocking the boy and using simplified terms.

Naruto kept his anger in check, and thought on the information he was given.

"So what, dad musta' sealed you in me when I was being born… You knew both of my parents… Because you were sealed into one of them! It must've been mom, because her seal would've weakened at childbirth, causing your escape, requiring you to be re-sealed… into me!" Naruto said, piecing the info together.

"And the last horse finally crosses the finish line. Although I guess I'm being too harsh with you, yes? After all, Mito Uzumaki, who sealed me into Kushina was a grandmasters at the art. Her seal was perfect, and only breakable due to her superhuman amount of stress. You, however, had the seal written by a master, at best." The fox began, ruminating with a distant look in its eyes – deep in thought of the subject.

"So, what, dad wasn't able to make the seal perfect?" Naruto asked. The fox looked at him, with less judging eyes.

"No. He was in the midst of a great battle, and had to improvise the seal on the spot. He is a cunning shinobi – I'm willing to admit that much – but it seems the seal he put you had some detriment to your chakra control." The Kyuubi explained.

"Is that why you're ripping into me? Just because I can't control my chakra properly? There's a lot of it there, you know!" Naruto justified, stopping when the fox held up a massive paw.

"The seals design allows for you to utilise my chakra at your whim. The actual writ is convoluted, which would've caused your lack of control in certain techniques, alongside some other things…" The beast went into thought again, before shaking its head.

"However, I digress. I am Kurama, the Nine-Tailed Fox. You are my Jinchuuriki. I brought you here to assess you, and I am not impressed. I will bring you back into this place in a month's time. After this, I want you to see Minato, and ask him to repair your seal. Keep up your training, and I will re-evaluate you." The fox stated, before closing its eyes.

"Farewell, Naruto. We shall meet again, and when we do, I hope to not be as disappointed." It said, before sending the boy away.

Naruto later awoke to the smell of disinfectant and to the sight of bleached white walls.

(Konoha General Hospital)

Naruto groggily opened his eyes, and saw out the corner of them a watchful figure. As soon as he began to focus on it, however, it disappeared, and he immediately fell back to sleep.

An unseen force had pinched a group of nerves on his neck.

"What the fuffufufuu…" He mumbled to himself before falling to rest again. The figure sighed and disappeared at hearing some footsteps approach Naruto's door.

(Some time later)

A massive pain still rang through his head, but was much less intense than when Kurama contacted him. He groaned softly as his eyes adjusted to the light of the room, and his breathing hitched momentarily.

"Naruto!" Kushina hugged Naruto when she saw his eyes open.

"Hey mom… Where's-" Kushina motioned to Naruto's left, where he saw Minato holding his left hand, snoring loudly.

"Oh… How long was I out?" The tired blonde questioned.

"3 days, Naruto. What happened?" Minato began to stir.

"Both you and dad need to be awake to hear this." Naruto said seriously.

And with a nudge, Minato was swiftly awoken.

And the events were relayed back to both of them.

"Why did you guys hide this from me?" Naruto asked pleadingly.

"At this point, we thought you didn't need to know." Answered Minato.

"That I had a demon inside me? I think that's something I should've known some time before this."

"How do you tell your child you put a demon inside them when they were a baby?" Minato asked back. He had reasons for hiding the fact he couldn't mention, but Naruto didn't need to know them at this point.

Naruto sighed and nodded to his dad, agreeing with his logic.

'Still, though.' Naruto thought to himself.

The three kept talking until they were visited by Hinata, Satsuki, and Sakura, all worried tremendously for their friend. Naruto assured them that it was just a killer migraine, and that they had nothing to worry about. His cheeky grin settled them a little.

"So when will you be cleared to leave, Naruto?" asked Satsuki, eager to catch up on some training and to beat Naruto in a friendly spar.

"That's a good question, Dad?" Naruto motioned towards Minato.

"If that headache of yours is gone, we can leave whenever you feel ready. I'll just get some doctors to check up on you and to clear you." Minato said, leaving the room after kissing Naruto on the forehead.

Naruto jumped out of bed, promptly falling down after realising his muscles hadn't been used in three days.

"We're glad you're okay, son." The relieved parents chuckled, Kushina helping her son up easily.

A/N: Here's the down-low, you lovable cunts:

Every major character except Minato and Naruto is a woman in this story. Think "Last Male Nin" but played down a little. There are a lot of kunoichi, but there are also some shinobi. Kunoichi pretty much run the world.

Yes, that includes Kakashi. And the rest of the Jounin teachers and their associates (Ibiki, ANBU, ROOT, etc.) And all of the male Akatsuki. And Madara. And the shinobi from other countries. Plus a lot more.

Naruto will have a harem that will consist of a lot of the characters in the series, excluding his parents.

Minato will be with Kushina.

Shut up.

*Translator's note: "Keikaku" means "plan".