PRIVATE’S PARTS DEPT.

In what is surely a new standard for chutzpah, convicted traitor Private Bradley Manning announced that while he’s serving prison time for betraying his country, he would like that same country to pay for hormone treatments so he can become Chelsea Manning! Ironically, such an outrageous demand does take balls. Science can transform a person’s gender — it’s too bad it can’t transform a person into less of a douche.