Occupy Wall Street has gotten its hands on some nifty anti-union training documents that an increasingly beleaguered Walmart has evidently devised in its efforts to keep the populist throngs from their slimy gates. Offering the banal, utterly spurious argument that unions are just after their money (a whole $5 a month), the scripts stress loyalty to the brand, "open communication," and the need to promptly report any talk of unions to a commie hot line. And the dialogue! So snappy!

Sample 1:

Female Associate: Hey I have a quick question for you Male Associate: Sure Female Associate: Hey I was talking to one of the guys in my area and they told me that we could get an automatic increase in pay if we got a union in the store. Is that true? Male Associate: Hmm, well that's a good question LaTonya, and thanks for asking, but you know our company doesn't feel that associates should have to spend their hard earned money to have someone represent them and neither do I. But to answer your question, through the collective bargaining process, there's no telling what they will end up with. They can end up with more, the same or even less. Female Associate: Hmm you gave me a lot to think about I appreciate it. Thank you Male Associate: You're welcome. Sample 2: