How To Talk To Babies About Postmodernism

BABY: [knocks plate off of table]

ME: that’s right

in postmodernism we reject the notion of ‘totality’

ME: what book do you want to read

do you want to read ‘Go, Dog, Go’ or ‘Pat The Bunny’

BABY: buhh

ME: are you saying Bunny?

BABY: buhh

ME: that’s right

resist the metanarrative

here is no such thing as outside-of-the-text

the dog can go nowhere

ME: looks like you’ve outgrown these jammies

BABY: [kicks]

ME: have you also outgrown epiphenomenalism?

BABY: [kicks]

ME: are you kicking the notion of a hierarchical system of cause-and-effect away from you

is that what you’re doing

BABY: [kicks]

ME: good

BABY: hi

ME: what else

BABY: hi

ME: …degger

ME: what is that in your hand

BABY: block

ME: very good

and what do we do with blocks

BABY: [gnaws block]

ME: that’s right

we experience the merging of subject and object, self and other

BABY: [rips up paper]

ME: excellent

explore the text

BABY: [eats paper]

ME: oh VERY good