(Written by guest author Ellie McFarland, a contributor for 71 republic. Edited by Men Are Human.)

Due to the government shutdown in December, the VAWA expired, and the internet’s outcry was intense. The expiration of the The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) impacted the funding for all (female) domestic violence shelters and sexual assault crisis centers. Grants already given to these programs were not impacted, but newly directed funding could have been delayed. No one has actually overturned the act; there was simply a short gap before it was reauthorized on January 25th, with great haste (and bi-partisan support).

That’s hardly even a blip – but from the outcry on sites like Twitter, Instagram, Jezebel and Tumblr it might have been gathered that the Republican Party outright repealed the VAWA (and further legalized the rape and murder of women across the nation). This misleading hysteria is dangerous, but it also highlights a rather upsetting contrast in the way violence against men vs violence against women is treated by the media. To start off, there exists the VAWA. There also exists a government office dedicated to stopping all violence against women – and women alone. Every Western country has a similar office – or several.

And yet men are the overwhelming victims of all violent crime, being at least equally as likely to be raped, and slightly over half of all Domestic Violence Victims. But there is no male equivalent to the VAWA. The mere fact that women have such legislation, and men don’t, shows that almost all available resources are being poured into a single demographic.

Of course – the counter claims to such statistics are rather weaselly. One repeated claim is that “2,142 women were murdered *last year* by a current or former partner.” Which actually makes a lot of sense – men are vastly less likely to be fatally injured by a female domestic abuser, and it’s difficult to work out how many men are murdered by women using other men as proxies. Or by manipulating and pressuring the man to commit suicide.

Many of the articles and posts written about the act would have you believe the non-renewal of the act makes it legal to commit violence against a female domestic partner – this is not the case. To be clear – the VAWA’s actual wording (all except the title) is, in fact, gender neutral. Theoretically, the act should provide funding for men and women equally…. but it doesn’t. At the time of writing there does not exist a single male-only shelter in the USA with government funding. Indeed, the general impossibility of getting funding for a male shelter in any part of the world is well known. It was cited as the cause of Earl Silverman’s suicide in Canada. It is also heavily evidenced by the fact there are only two or three dedicated shelters for men in the USA, and over two thousand for women.

The Act Is Used To Prioritise funding For Women

The VAWA doesn’t provide any new legislation on crime or domestic disputes but, rather, is a spending act. It legislates that a certain amount of grant money is to go to, quote, “domestic violence shelters” – which is gender neutral and seems to cover both men and women. “Seems” is all it is, though. There exists no more than three male domestic violence shelters in America as a whole, and all three of them are privately funded – meaning that no state funding goes to them. At the time of writing, there are no publicly funded male domestic violence shelters in America whatsoever.

As you can see – the problem here is not exactly with the legislation so much as the way it is implemented. There are also secondary problems with the legislation that make it incredibly hard to get male domestic abuse shelters “up to code”, or to pass certain inspections.

The fact there are so few domestic violence shelters for men should worry everyone. Despite public perception, men are extremely vulnerable to being abused and exploited due to their traditional roles in our society. Their biological drive to protect and provide for their family makes them easy to exploit, blackmail, isolate, financially enslave through child support, and so on.

Yes, men are (by and large) much stronger than women, and have a far greater ability to preform physical labour. Men can also endure greater pain, and for longer periods. These facts fuel three assumptions: 1) That men are not abused by women – at all, ever. 2) That violence is always against women and committed by men, and: 3) That, if men are abused at all, they should just be able to ‘man up’ and ‘take it’.

But The Truth Is: No One Should Have To ‘Toughen Up’ and ‘Take It’.

Abused men are at a major disadvantage – they cannot hit back, they cannot raise their voices, and even the abuse they suffer can be used as proof that they are the abusers. It seems appropriate to bring up the fact of Johnny Depp’s abuse at the hands of his wife. As one commenter pointed out:

Which brings us back to our key point:

The Experiences Of Male Victims Are Real and Valid – But Ignored

Here are some quotes from men who called abuse hotlines, taken from National Parent’s organization:

They laughed at me and told me I must have done something to deserve it if it happened at all.

We all know a woman can hit a man with a baseball bat and knock his teeth out, and the man is not allowed to defend himself – but when men say they are abused they get told they are too strong to be hurt:

They asked how much I weighed and how much she weighed and then hung up on me…I was told by this agency that I was full of BS.

They told me women don’t commit domestic violence — it must have been my fault.

Which is completely untrue. According to the CDC, women commit half of all domestic violence attacks.

They accused me of trying to hide my “abuse” of her by claiming to be a victim, and they said that I was nothing more than a wimp.

This is a classic problem with the feminist-made ‘Duluth Model’ of Domestic Violence – men cannot be seen as victims, and women cannot be seen as abusers. That is why men calling abuse charities get reactions like these.

They just laughed and hung up the phone.

They didn’t really listen to what I said. They assumed that all abusers are men and said that I must accept that I was the abuser. They ridiculed me for not leaving my wife, ignoring the issues about what I would need to do to protect my six children and care for them.



According to the National Parent’s organization: “Twelve percent of the hotlines accused the man of being the batterer or responsible for the abuse. Of the men who sought help by contacting local domestic violence programs, only 10% found them to be “very helpful,” whereas 65% found them to be “not at all helpful.” The actual statistics jar with how particular branches of the feminist movement frames the issue. Again from National Parents Organization:

The median age of the abused men was 40, and the median age of their abusive female partners was 38. The relationships had lasted on average a little over eight years, and 73% of them had minor children. About two-thirds were married, separated, or divorced. Of the abused men who called domestic violence hotlines, 64% were told that they “only helped women.” In 32% of the cases, the abused men were referred to batterers’ programs. Another 25% were given a phone number to call that turned out to be a batterers’ program. A little over a quarter of them were given a reference to a local program that helped. Overall, only 8% of the men who called hotlines classified them as “very helpful,” whereas 69% found them to be “not at all helpful.” Sixteen percent said the people at the hot line “dismissed or made fun of them.”





The Truth

Men are equally as likely to experience physical abuse in a relationship as women, according to the CDC. About one in seven men (some studies say one in six) report being victimized – however, men are also known to drastically under-report their own victimization. As you may have realized by now, it is also socially expected for the man, and the public, to do nothing in response. Indeed, a lot of men’s stories involve the public laughing at him for being beaten up by a women he doesn’t dare to defend himself from – lest that same public beat him senseless and have him arrested. There are even abuse stories and videos where the public joins in in abusing the man. Yet most men don’t seem to see themselves being hit by a women as abuse. These are all reasons why the CDC estimates as many as one in four men actually may be victims.

Men also experience psychological abuse from an intimate partner just as often as women do. 63% of males as opposed to 15% of females had a deadly weapon used against them in a domestic violence incident. These numbers are likely much higher than what they suggest, as the vast majority of men do not report or try to leave domestic abuse situations. This whole mess shows just how the public forgets men and their issues, and coddles women and our issues. According to the CDC, women are often the aggressors in domestic situations – but that is an inconvenient fact that is very rarely mentioned. Injuring men within a relationship is normalized to the point that women are able to, quite casually, hit their partners in public. These people don’t care about the unreadably high rate of male assault, suicide, and rape rates, but will push a boogie-man out onto the internet.

This disgusts me. The expiration of the VAWA in late December was fixed on February 15th, with support from both parties. However, despite the egalitarian wording of the act itself, men continue to go unprotected, and their shelters continue to be unfunded. Society continues to not care. My heart goes out to men to are being abused by their partners and who are not uplifted to seek help or to press charges.

There are people who care. There are people who will help you.







This Needs To Be Public Knowledge

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