There is no such thing as a perfect rape victim.

People who report their experiences of sexual assault are subjected to constant questioning and scrutiny -- as if there is a certain way "real victims" should behave after being raped. In reality, people process trauma in myriad ways, and someone's reaction after being assaulted should not be used as "proof" that a rape didn't happen if it doesn't match up with the way society believes a victim "should" act.

Emma Sulkowicz, an activist who began carrying her mattress around Columbia's campus after the school refused to expel a student who she says raped her, has been vilified for contacting her rapist after he assaulted her -- apparently, her story is "less believable" because of it. Women who report that Bill Cosby assaulted them have been publicly criticized for not coming forward earlier.

In a Dec. 1 essay for TIME, Susan J. Brison highlighted the issues with how we treat rape victims when she explained why she reported one instance of being raped -- when she was assaulted by a stranger at knifepoint, beaten and left for dead -- but not another, when she was raped by an acquaintance in her dorm room.

"One was the best kind of rape, as far as my credibility as a victim was concerned," Brison wrote. "The other was the worst."

There is no such thing as a perfect human being. There’s no perfect way to respond to rape. #TheresNoPerfectVictim — Wagatwe Wanjuki (@wagatwe) February 4, 2015

Today, feminist activists Julie Zeilinger and Wagatwe Wanjuki started the hashtag #TheresNoPerfectVictim to discuss the pressure survivors face, and the ways in which detractors try to discredit them.

Here's what you need to know about rape victims, because there's no such thing as a "perfect" one:



Victims don't always immediately call 911. They may not report their assault at all, or choose to speak with the media instead of law enforcement.

Not calling police immediately is a common response from those who have been raped.It doesn't mean it didn't happen. #TheresNoPerfectVictim — Victoria Brownworth (@VABVOX) February 4, 2015

Because not going to the police doesn't mean that it didn't happen. #TheresNoPerfectVictim http://t.co/x3QxV9csCx — Pippa Biddle (@PhilippaBiddle) February 4, 2015

Survivors who report to media & not police do so bc of huge problems w/justice system, not bc they're "bad victims" #TheresNoPerfectVictim — Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) February 4, 2015





Victims don't always cry or appear visibly upset.

People who are raped don't always cry or fall apart emotionally. Police and media still rely on these responses #TheresNoPerfectVictim — Soraya Chemaly (@schemaly) February 4, 2015

It's not up to us to judge how others process and express their trauma.It's up to us to listen to & support survivors #TheresNoPerfectVictim — jamiaw (@jamiaw) February 4, 2015

.@wagatwe I've seen this SO many times as hospital advocate. Smiles and laughing are a way to cope & handle things. #TheresNoPerfectVictim — Stacey (@runningfierce) February 4, 2015







Victims may not remember all the details of their assault.

Changing your story or misremembering details is a CLASSIC sign of trauma, not an attempt to fool people #TheresNoPerfectVictim — Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) February 4, 2015







Victims may have been involved with their assailant before the assault.

Remember how marital rape is illegal in every state? Previous intimacy is irrelevant. https://t.co/ZQu3xfg3QC #TheresNoPerfectVictim — Julie Zeilinger (@juliezeilinger) February 4, 2015

Regardless of any interaction before or after the rape, rape is rape. #TheresNoPerfectVictim @juliezeilinger — Srividya Malladi (@karmanmaani) February 4, 2015







Victims may have been involved with their assailant after the assault.

survivors talk to their rapists & we see it as proof nothing happened, instead of someone desp. trying to rebuild #TheresNoPerfectVictim — Trip Eggert (@tripeggert) February 4, 2015

For 12 months after my boyfriend raped me, I stayed with him - even as he continued to rape me. I stand with Emma. #TheresNoPerfectVictim — Haylin Belay (@hlynbly) February 4, 2015

True story: I texted my rapist after the fact too. Doesn't mean he didn't do it. #TheresNoPerfectVictim — Zerlina Maxwell (@ZerlinaMaxwell) February 4, 2015

I stayed in relationships/friendships with rapists at points because sometimes that seemed easier than speaking out #TheresNoPerfectVictim — Trip Eggert (@tripeggert) February 4, 2015







Just because someone was drinking or doing drugs at the time of their assault doesn't mean they were "asking for it:"

When you drink, you're responsible for YOUR actions. Not the actions of what other people do. #TheresNoPerfectVictim — Cecelia (@CeceliaLorraine) February 4, 2015

although rape shield law exists, survivors are questioned about their drinking with the implication that drunk=slutty #TheresNoPerfectVictim — Kimya Forouzan (@kimyaf) February 4, 2015

This online conversation is a brutal look at how society treats rape victims -- and explains why so many victims are unwilling to come forward.

It's time for a change.

Need help? In the U.S., visit the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline operated by RAINN. For more resources, visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center's website.