Finding a rich old man to support your hot young ass is not easy. Most old men are not only creepy, but also withholding! Securing the perfect sugar daddy is tricky. And once you’ve got him in your hot young grasp, you must not let him get away. It’s important that in addition to being a full-time hottie, he also thinks you’re pretty smart. There are many ways to appear wise beyond your years, such as reading a book, or knowing how to drive. But you can really impress your sugar daddy simply by reading an analog clock. It shows that you are a clever girl with a public-school education and decent eyesight. What more could an old man want? Here’s how.

Bring up what time it is, all the time.

Prove that you know how to tell time by constantly saying “would ya look at the time!” Some people may find this to be “rude,” but the right sugar daddy will understand that it’s purely academic, and also cute. Like a sexy little clock tower, alert him of the time every hour, on the hour. Wake him up if necessary!

Say fancy things like “quarter past.”

There is no better way to flex your time-telling prowess than dropping in some freaky fractions. Ask your sugar daddy to pick you up at “half past 7” and watch him go wild. Using the real numbers is so millennial. Saying “it’s 4:50” makes it seem like you use your iPhone as a clock. Instead, you can say “it’s ten to five, papa.” Delicious!

Steal his watch.

Use your nimble little baby girl fingers to grab that big huge Cartier right off his wrist. He may be a little upset at first, but he will be so impressed once he sees you reading it, roman numerals and all. You’ll look so smart, hot, and most importantly young that he will have no choice but to accept it and buy himself a new watch.

In order to remain a successful sugar baby, you must be three things. Hot, young, and literate in analog clocks. By brushing up on your big and small hands, you will keep your sugar daddy drooling over your hot young bod, and your hot young intellect too!