Lovely.

Decades ago I found myself in a similar situation, still closeted and living a continent away from my grandmother, then in her late 70s, who had been raised very Catholic. Early that fall I made a point of coming East and taking Grandma to lunch to tell her I was gay — away from the prying eyes of family and the circus atmosphere of Thanksgiving dinner. During our time together, Grandma was very noncommittal, but she did thank me for being honest with her. A few weeks later I received a letter from her with a number of personal aphorisms, which spoke in her own way to our conversation. Among them were these:

■ “I can’t change the situation; I must change my attitude for my own peace of mind.”

■"Learn to delay replies when in doubt — and this avoid mistakes and misunderstanding.”

■"Make way for tomorrow.”

That Christmas, she gave me a ticket to see Harvey Fierstein’s “Torch Song Trilogy” (watch a clip from the film here);” she went, too. And before her death a decade later, Grandma had become a vocal supporter of gay rights (and mine, too).

Can we change people’s minds about homosexuality and, if so, how?

Update: Earlier this year I fielded a question from a woman in her 50s who rather than come out planned to take her own life. In the end, she told family and friends — and the aftermath was not easy for her. Recently I received this email from Terrie Johnson (who has now allowed me to publish her name):

“I wanted to thank you again for your column; the responses and comments were incredibly encouraging to me. Recently, I’ve been speaking to LGBT student organizations at universities, with the most recent being last week at the University of Kansas. Many of the students wept as I shared my story, and one young man told me after that he had just come out to his family the week before and that his father told him he was never welcome at his home again and that he is no longer his son. So very sad, Steven, and yet so very brave and courageous of the young man to finally be true to himself. I also thought you might be interested to see the video I made, which is posted here.”