These breathless headlines about what has already been dubbed "Megxit" are obviously a teensy bit hyperbolic.

After all, many of us don't give a tinker's cuss about which Buckingham Palace resident may or may not be wearing a fascinator the size of a triffid.

The Sun describes the "palace bombshell" as "civil war" while the Daily Mirror focuses on the Queen being left in the dark. ( Supplied )

This has a lot to do with the fact that the average Royal-related news flash is either insanely over-the-top (in 2018, the internet proved Meghan was definitely a robot) or on par with watching beige paint dry (2020 is less than a fortnight old and already Meghan has been lauded for reinventing monochrome simply because she wore a thing that was brown).

That said, substantive feminist issues frequently lurk beneath the Royal flotsam and jetset-sam, so it's often worth taking a closer look.

'Harkle' hounded relentlessly

Space to play or pause, M to mute, left and right arrows to seek, up and down arrows for volume. Watch Duration: 31 seconds 31 s Meghan told ITV the "stiff upper lip" mentality could be damaging.

The flight of Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, from Buckingham Palace — with plans to work and become financially independent — is understood to be a response to the British media's hounding of Meghan in a manner that — quite rightly — has been condemned as sexist, racist, and xenophobic.

(The stupid celebrity couple names they've had to endure — yes, I'm looking at you, "Harkle", "Prinkle", and "Harrighan" — must not have been pleasant either.)

Anyway, as we all know, the British tabloid media often has trouble navigating the fine line between responsible media coverage and bald-faced lying, stalking, symbolic lynching, and so on.

Media defenders would argue that celebrities have a clear if unstated contract with the press: they get a bunch of nice stuff (Harry's net worth is said to be $40 million) in exchange for constant forensic examination of every single thing they ever do, say, wear, or give birth to.

How will Harry be a part-time prince and Meghan a part-time duchess? ( @SussexRoyal: Chris Allerton, AP )

It's worse for women

Celebrity females, however, are subjected to far more toxic coverage than celebrity males. And celebrity female Royals cop some of the worst of it.

In 2019, for instance, Meghan took the unusual step of deciding to sue the Mail on Sunday, shortly before Harry launched an unprecedented attack on the British tabloid press for "bullying" his wife in a manner similar to the hounding of his mother, Princess Diana.

Unfortunately it's hard to imagine things improving much in this respect.

Meghan appeared to follow in Kate's footsteps with a baby shower in New York. ( Reuters: Carlo Allegri )

After all, royaling-up for real-life women is way more Handmaid's Tale than "happily ever after" Disney movie.

Unlike fleeing Gilead, the transportation issues associated with escaping from the social dystopia that is Buckingham Palace will be a breeze.

Presumably there will be no shortage of bejewelled carriages, Bentley limos, Royal yachts, attractive stallions, and Royal dirigibles available to convey the fleeing family to the nearest Canadian safehouse-cum-mansion.

Meghan and Harry's flight from Buckingham Palace is believed to be in response to the British media's hounding of Meghan who was criticised for choosing this dress to wear during a tour of Australia. ( AAP: Darren England )

The Royals won't let them go without a fight

Yet the British Royal family is unlikely to let go without a fight.

Its press release responding to the couple's announcement described the situation — rather ominously — as complicated.

Read between the inevitable Royal understatement and this is on par with everything every evil stepparent has said before imprisoning ladies in various towers.

Then again, maybe in secret they are begging them to stay while continuing to edge away from Prince Andrew in the hope everyone forgets there ever was an eighth chap in the line to the British throne.

Tabloid escape isn't possible

Escaping the media, however, will truly be mission impossible.

Once again, this will be especially true for Meghan who — having already been public enemy #1 to the British tabloids has now achieved Yoko Ono status for breaking up the band.

Consider, for instance, the way Good Morning Britain presenter and larrikin phone hacker Piers Morgan has slammed her for driving a wedge (ouch!) between pretty much everyone.

Morgan also had a go at the couple's "absurd woke hypocrisy" and "constant whining", before noting that he was from Sussex and prepared to step up.

Important to note, too, is the fact that the couple's move to avoid the media has generated SO much media.

A volcano of feelings

Their announcement has provoked a veritable, volcano-grade eruption of internet thoughts.

Members of Team Meghan are go-girling her like no-one's business. One social media type person said she was so high from the Sussex's "ballsy announcement", she was mid-way through getting an image of Meghan, Harry and their eight-month-old son Archie tattooed on her arm.

Members of Team Royal Ladies Should Be Seen But Nothing Else, meanwhile, are accusing her of ghosting everyone's families, calling Harry a snowflake and expressing their concern for Archie's wellbeing. (OMG, how could he possibly receive the recommended daily allowance of corgis and stiff upper everythings if he lives in Canada? Call DOCS immediately.)

There are also a bunch of peeps in the "meh" camp, but they are doing their due social media diligence by broadcasting HOW MUCH THEY DON'T CARE loudly and repeatedly.

There's no win

Is it possible that Meghan and Harry would receive less press if they just stayed put, shut up and behaved?

Nah. It's lose/lose either way.

Ultimately, the check-out policies of the British Royal family are the same ones as at Hotel California.

You can drag your luggage down to the front desk and tell them what you took from the mini-bar any time you like, but you can never leave.

Emma Jane is a writer and an associate professor in the School of Arts and Media at UNSW.