Rachel Holdsworth

Thoughts On Having Sat Through The Mayoral Election Videos

You can tell it's election season: everyone's got their party broadcasts ready. We've watched them all so you don't have to. (Though you can if you want.)

Greens

0.05: Whoever the Green Party has coming up with ideas for its videos needs a raise. For last year's general election they made a boyband, and now they've made kids pretend to do PMQs. This is genius.

0.16: This kid has better hair than Boris.

0.40: Nice work getting in a reference to Sadiq Khan being 'hostile' to Jeremy Corbyn, there.

0.45: Genuine 'aw' for the Jeremy Corbyn kid.

0.55: GET A BETTER SUIT, JEZ.

1.05: Genuinely had to look up whether it's Tim Fallon or Farron. (It's Farron.)

1.45: We bet Theresa May does throw cuddly toys around after having to deal with all the bickering in cabinet.

2.07: Ahahaha, Liz Kendall literally loves fracking.

2.24: Oh. Actual policies. Bit bored now tbh.

3.40: Hang on, where the hell was Sian Berry?

Labour

I’ve just launched my official campaign video - I’ll be a Mayor for all Londoners.



Spread the word - RT this now.https://t.co/twqnwdUvZX — Sadiq Khan MP (@SadiqKhan) April 4, 2016

0.02: What's with the stock music? Did they pull this off YouTube's copyright-free database?

0.22: Grew up on a council estate klaxon.

0.34: Sadiq has a real plan to fix the housing crisis. Not one of your fake plans.

0.45: Dad was a bus driver klaxon.

0.48: Sadiq doesn't sit at the front of the top deck. That's just weird in our view.

1.18: Is Sadiq ever getting off this bus? Will City Hall become a roving administration?

1.30: Sadiq now has a real plan to tackle extremism. Again, none of your fake plans.

2.00: Seriously, he's still on the bus.

2.15: HE'S GETTING OFF THE BUS.

2.25: Why is he walking in slow motion? Is that why he spent so long on the bus, because walking anywhere takes ages?

Conservatives

Watch the #BackZac2016 broadcast to see how my Action Plan for Greater London will deliver for all Londoners:https://t.co/SdpH8xgXmi — Zac Goldsmith (@ZacGoldsmith) April 4, 2016

0.02: More bland backing music. Can't anyone afford something a bit more interesting?

0.13: "Boris Johnson has put London back on the map." When did we fall off the map?

0.25: Zac sounds very impressed that we make 24m journeys every day, doesn't he?

0.33: Zac also walks in slight slow motion. What's going on?

0.37: Zac looks deeply uncomfortable being filmed doing this.

0.44: Plan klaxon.

0.54: Disappointed to see the real Theresa May not throwing stuffed animals around.

1.04: What's that yellow thing that whizzes through the field?

1.15: Having David Cameron in the video is probably not the boon it seemed last week.

1.32: Doesn't the river look lovely?

1.45: Hang on, why is Boris doing a speech to camera? Why has Zac been talking to us in voiceover?

1.55: Boris looks like he's been given very strict instructions to be sensible, not go off script and don't dick about.

2.05: Never noticed how small Boris Johnson's eyes are before.

2.18: They just spent over 30 seconds getting Boris Johnson to talk at us instead of the guy who's actually standing.

2.26: Finally! Hello Zac, nice to hear from you.

2.35: Zac's a bit smirky, isn't he? Maybe that's why he didn't get much to-camera time.

Liberal Democrats

Caroline Pidgeon's Election Broadcast You saw it here first! Caroline has just released her Election Broadcast a day before it's on TV. Posted by London Liberal Democrats on Wednesday, 6 April 2016

0.01: We're already on first name terms.

0.10: That coat's quite bright.

0.12: First sighting of high-vis in these videos. Which is surprising. We all know politicians love a bit of high-vis.

0.36: £515,000 for a two bedroom flat in Drayton Park, there.

0.53: Some real Londoners, chatting. Apparently.

1.02: This guy doesn't sound scripted at all.

1.18: Fair play though, you didn't get the boys shooting the breeze with other people this much and we're only halfway through.

1.40: New word needed for a kid who 'photobombs' an election broadcast, please.

1.50: That guy's wearing a yellow tie. Hmm.

2.05: Everyone has plans. Isn't the most basic thing we expect of a candidate?

2.38: Hang on, this guy looks familiar. *Googles* Ah, that's because he's a Lib Dem candidate for the London Assembly. We'd hope you are supporting Caroline, mate. You could be in trouble otherwise.

3.07: This lady is making us feel like we're being told off.

UKIP

0.03: Traditional British icon klaxon.

0.11: Didn't take long for UKIP to start on about overcrowding, did it?

0.50: There are many factors behind London's problems. But we're only going to talk about one of them in this advert.

0.59: This really is aimed at outer London, isn't it?

1.37: Not a leading question in any way.

1.44: £800 a month for a two bedroom flat? We know people who dream of £800 a month for a two bedroom flat.

1.55: Here we go, here's Nigel.

2.00: And it's all UKIP will talk about.

2.14: Nigel is daring you to tell the truth with your vote.

2.25: Vote UKIP for a party with only one policy.