The biggest story in the world of metal to break this fine Labor Day Weekend: Tim Lambesis is allegedly planning to re-launch As I Lay Dying with all new band members.

Amongst the legions outraged by the fact that someone convicted of trying to have his wife murdered would have the gall to step out into the spotlight again — let alone believe that he’ll still have fans ready and willing to support him — is Oliver Rae Aleron, vocalist for Canadian tech-death wrecking crew Archspire.

So Aleron has decided to do something about it: he’s launched a GoFundMe campaign to help him to take on Tim Lambesis… physically.

How exactly Aleron plans to use the $2k he’s seeking is a mystery — he’s a self-proclaimed “small dude” who says “I need to train to get biggger [sic] so I can kick his stupid ass for being a piece of shit!” — but the amount is small enough that it won’t take much out of any donor’s pocket to see this lark come to fruition.

Aleron is a known joker, and I admit this is pretty fucking funny even if I’m no fan of physical violence (as if such a fight would ever come to pass even if Aleron is successful in his goal). Here’s the GoFundMe text in full:

“This asshole tried to have his wife murdered. I’m a small dude and I’m not very good at fighting but Tim is very large and strong. I thinks he sucks for trying to kill his wife but also, I need to train to get biggger so I can kick his stupid ass for being a piece of shit! Help me fight him! “Help spread the word!”

Donate here.

At the very least, perhaps Aleron will use the funds to produce a funny video… in which case, he’s got a platform via MetalSucks if he wants it! Just contact us, bro, you know how to find us.