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Kobe Bryant scored 40 points for the 100th time in his career — with a groin injury — Tuesday night in the LA Lakers 106-93 victory over the Detroit Pistons, prompting me to come up with a list of 100 reasons (one for every game, obviously) why he’s so awesome.

Just kidding. Who has time (or wants) to sit around and come up with 100 different reasons why Kobe Bryant is good at basketball? Let’s go with 10 of them for now in Chuck Norris Facts fashion. Feel free to add your own ridiculous lies to the list.

10. Kobe Bryant doesn’t say “who’s your daddy” because he knows the answer.

9. Kobe Bryant can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

8. Kobe Bryant can touch MC Hammer.

7. Kobe Bryant doesn’t read play books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

6. Kobe Bryant can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

5. Kobe Bryant doesn’t daydream. He’s too busy giving other players nightmares.

4. Kobe Bryant knows every word to every Elton John song ever written and he’ll sing them all to your wife, who will immediately leave you.

3. Kobe Bryant can sneeze with his eyes wide open and will dribble all over your face if you don’t say “bless you.”

2. Kobe Bryant once drank an entire gallon of whole milk in 30 seconds.

1. In a one-on-one game between Michael Jordan and Dr. J, the winner would be Kobe Bryant.

In case you doubt the badassery of chugging a gallon of milk in 30 seconds, try it at home. If you hate milk and/or are too much of a sissypants, check out this tough guy who barfed after like 50 seconds and didn’t even finish it. Plus, I’m pretty sure he totally cheated, what with all the cut scenes (a.k.a puke breaks.)