IN Texas, where the syndicated columnist Molly Ivins recently lamented that the post-holiday return of the Legislature was ''depriving many a village of its idiot,'' things keep getting weirder. Two weeks ago, Kleberg County, home of the King Ranch empire, passed a resolution against the word hello. The commissioners objected to the word because its first syllable, they maintained, contains a satanic reference.

County employees must now answer telephones ''Heaven-o'' instead. Meanwhile, the Chamber of Commerce has started a campaign to spread the word.

If you're wondering what this has to do with a reasonably sensible state like New Jersey, you might recall the cursing controversy in Raritan Borough, the peaceful little town in Somerset County where swearing was declared illegal two years ago.

Mayor Anthony DeCicco certainly does, and fondly. But the good-natured Mr. DeCicco is quick to disavow any responsibility for what they do in Texas. A former marine who runs a downtown tavern, Mayor DeCicco chuckled and said, ''Hell-o? Hopefully, what we did didn't lead to that kind of thing.''