The headline explains it. Let’s see Meltzer deliver wrestling journalism this hard-hitting and important!

Jim Ross: “God as my witness, he is broken in half!”

English to Croatian to Hmong to Icelandic to Kurdish to English: “God is up on the cabin, and he sees me!”

Bobby Heenan: “It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and Mr. Perfect is a Milk Bone!”

English to Malay to Latvian to Welsh to English: “He is the dog who eats its own world, and the mammary is impeccable.”

Jerry Lawler: “He has muscles in places most people don’t have places.”

English to Tamil to Bangla to Arabic to English: “Hi, my muscles are not in most places. Do others have them there?”

Jim Ross: “Back in Oklahoma, we called a match like this a slobberknocker!”

English to Hindi to Chinese to German to English: “When moving backwards over Oklahoma, we said the game was such a saliva banker!”

Vince McMahon: “The boyhood dream has come true for Shawn Michaels.”

English to Thai to Bulgarian to Somali to Japanese to English: “Baby boys dream of shaving Michael.”

Jim Ross: “Austin is stomping a mudhole and walking it dry!”

English to Burmese to Vietnamese to Persian to Urdu to English: “Hole drilling for six dirty holes, so keep walking!”

Gorilla Monsoon: “He doesn’t know a wristlock from a wristwatch!”

English to Greek to Swedish to Zulu to English: “He is not even aware of the crystal in the bracelet!”

Gorilla Monsoon: “The irresistible force meets the immovable object!”

English to Filipino to Hungarian to Slovenian to Afrikaans to Khmer to English: “Isn’t unquestionable power is worthy of stubborn wealth?”

Michael Cole: “You are watching the longest-running weekly episodic show in television history!”

English to Haitian Creole to Japanese to Latin to Finnish to English: “You’re seeing a show that lasts a week, which is like the longest on television!”

Michael Cole: “May I have your attention please? I have just received an email from the anonymous Raw general manager, and I quote…”

English to Javanese to Yoruba to Korean to Sudanese to English: “Did you hear it? I got a letter from an uncooked businessman, and I must repeat all of it.”

Mauro Ranallo: “Mama Mia! And just like the headphone jack on an iPhone 7, Alexa Bliss is eliminated.”

English to Albanian to Chinese to Uzbek to Italian to English: “My mother is missing in action with the happiness of Alexa, who destroyed her smartphone, James.”

Tony Shiavone: “We understand that Mick Foley, who wrestled here one time as Cactus Jack, is going to win their world title. Ha! That’s gonna put some butts in seats.”

English to Indonesian to Maori to Swahili to Scottish Gaelic to Chinese to Punjabi to Norwegian to Xhosa to English: “Yes, a microphone played for us as a succulent plug, and he has won a hat on a chair. Sit on it!”