"The first ability he has is to nod silently, it's particularly useful for confusing journalists."

Late last year, one of our writers tried to chronicle “every time Tony Abbott screwed up, got yelled at, or just acted terribly” and I’m not saying it’s directly related, but he no longer works here. It was a task that can ruin a man.

The resulting list is our Infinite Jest, our Les Mis; it was what War and Peace might have looked like if entirely comprised of Vines of men in speed dealer sunnies and awkward videos of a world leader attempting to engage conversation with a human woman.

But today I see the error of our ways. We dreamed too big. This man’s follies were best documented in a medium which befit their nature: simple, odd, and entirely outdated. Presenting, Tony Abbott and the Quest for the Suppository of Wisdom — a new RPG game that documents the fall and fall our former PM.







This new Pokemon-style game has been made by a Perth legend named Ed Smith. Though Smith has been teasing it over the past couple of weeks, the first episode just dropped online today and it is pretty great. The game, which you can download for free on Windows or Mac, allows you to roam around Canberra as Tony as he “seeks to uncover the mysteries of the fabled Suppository of Wisdom and retake his position as captain of Team Australia”.

It includes relatively recent references to #auspol dankness like smashed avocado and old classics like the onion.

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You can download and play the game here… Then check back in 6-8 weeks because there are more episodes on the way.