…them Trojans up to something.

Welcome back everyone! This season has really been a wild ride.

USC the first four weeks…

USC the last two weeks…

While 3–3 isn’t exactly the start everyone wanted, the season is not over yet. The Pac-12 South is wide open, and with Sam Darnold, the Trojans look like a competent team. There is no reason USC won’t be able to win the next four games before facing off against the undefeated Huskies. Let’s hope neither team screws this up in the next month (looking at you Helton).

This week marks the one year anniversary of the Coach Sarkisian firing. As we all know, the move fixed the program and has been drama free ever since. Cheers!

Game Recap

The game didn’t start off well for our AD…

How could security not have noticed the 2006 Republican Gubernatorial candidate for the state of Pennsylvania?

If Lynn keeps having problems with security he might have to arrive to the game with his Super Bowl rings, but then he might have some trouble with the metal detectors.

Maybe they’d recognize him more if he sprinted on the field during games to argue with officials.

The game also didn’t start off well for our QB…

Love the decision to run, love the speed, but the ball handling skills need A LOT OF WORK. No doubt in my mind Darnold will be working on ball security and sliding drills in preparation for Arizona. Hopefully the redshirt freshman will sliding into some Wildcat DMs as well.

I mean if Rosen can…

This metaphor needs to go. First of all, who holds onto a loaf a bread like a football? Doesn’t everyone just grab it by the plastic bag. Am I holding break wrong?

Second off, carbs? Gross.

We really need to jump into the 21st century and come up with a better metaphor for poor ball security.

“Sam Darnold was carrying that ball like your friend who doesn’t believe in iPhone cases.”

“Sam Darnold takes care of that ball like Brad took care of Angelina.”

After this game, USC will be temporary be renamed “TIGHT END U”. The Trojans currently have four tight ends in the NFL: Randall Telfer, Jordan Cameron, Rhett Ellison, and Xavier Grimble. These names might not be familiar, because USC has the uncanny ability of keeping their five star recruit tight ends off the field holding Max Browne’s clipboard. Xavier Grimble was drafted in 2015! Honestly I thought his name was made up.

Well times have changed, as the the tight ends accounted for all three of the Trojans’ touchdowns in last weekends win against Colorado.

Someone call Hurricane Chris because “I’m in da club hollerin’ ‘E-mah-tore-bae-bae’!”

Is that Sam Darnold or Michael Vick in Madden 2004? Unbelievable play by Sam. Not panicking on the fumble, the scramble drill, and then throwing on the run to Tyler Petite for the score. My one problem is…

*Trump Voice* “I like touchdowns that don’t start on broken plays”

I don’t think this is accurate…

It’s been two years writing about this team and I can say I have seen the Trojans put together two halves of solid football once or twice. Our second half adjustments have been awful all year, which is surprising because it was one of Helton’s strengths when he was the interim. Then again, that was mostly because of how awful we used to start our games. Let’s shoot for three good quarters this week. You can let off the gas in the fourth if you want to head to a couple fraternity pool parties on Arizona’s campus.

Not great. Our team has more turnovers on the field than our coaching staff the last four years.

Giving up the ball three times in opposing territory is the difference between a nail biter in the fourth quarter and leaving at halftime. But with what I saw in the stands last week (or lack thereof), it didn’t seem like the quality of the game was going to affect attendance.

There will be turnovers but as we start to play tougher opponents, we will need to be more careful with the pigskin, or start forcing more on defense. Speaking of…

Adoree’ the Acrobat! If his NFL career doesn’t work out (it’s going to work out), he can always become a performer for Cirque du Soleil. Unbelievable awareness and body control by Jackson.

Who did it better? I’d give the edge to Woodson for going against his body and making a one armed grab, but it’s tough when Adoree has his whole body out of bounds before maneuvering to get one foot in.

Jackson has been compared to Charles Woodson since he arrived at USC and now he can add another amazing highlight to back up their similarities.

Hilarious that this wasn’t even Jackson’s best play of the game. He really is a human highlight reel.

Whenever a team uses a trick play, it’s an indication that their original game plan isn’t working. Unfortunately this double pass lead to a score and the few hundred fans in attendance to sweat out the rest of the game.

Defense was great this game. I didn’t see anything wrong with it besides a few big plays. Consistent pressure on the ball that lead to four sacks, one of which forced Steven Montez out of the game for a short period of time. Makes sense when you are getting body slammed by Porter Gustin. Kid looks like Brock Lesnar’s little brother.

Apparently this is a big deal. Is this a big deal? Could someone explain to me why this is a big deal?

If Betiku is anything as advertised, then burning a redshirt won’t matter. Having an extra year of eligibility doesn’t mean he’s going to use it. And with our pass rush not exactly meeting preseason expectations, we need him more now than next year when we would have debut against Western Michigan.

Wouldn’t be a game without a questionable decision by Coach Helton. This is more of a head scratcher than one where every Trojan fan goes on Twitter to scream “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

This is within range for “Auto-Matt-ic” but at least he went for it instead of punting. People really didn’t jump on to my “Master Farmer” nickname but give it time. It will catch on.

Biggest play of the game. If Rodgers doesn’t steal this one away, Colorado gets greats field position with an opportunity to go ahead.

Damn right he wanted it more. That’s why Darreus goes to USC and Witherspoon goes to a school that gets ranked one week every ten years.

When USC receivers want to embarrass a cornerback they go out of their way to make sure the whole nation sees it.

AHKELLO WITHERSPOON GOT MOSSED.

If you are unfamiliar with the term “MOSSED” let me provide you with some history

For those of you still confused, Mossed is defined by Urban Dictionary as: making a terrific catch in football, usually jumping/leaping is involved, as if Randy Moss was the receiver.

Hopefully Rodgers was able to grab some snack packs from Witherspoon’s lunchbox or a package of Lunchables. The big kind that came with a candy bar and Capri Sun (Pacific Cooler obviously).

A BIG game from Tyler PETITE!

Not necessarily a team player to those in Vegas who bet USC. Not taking the touchdown here prevented the cover and ruined USC’s perfect record against the spread this year. Good teams win, great teams cover.

Our coaches show lack of experience on game management and gave our players bad advice on what to do. I am SHOCKED.

JuJu is that friend you play in Madden that gets in the red zone, and starts taking knees to run out the clock before kicking a game winning field goal instead of scoring and giving you a chance to come back. Instead you’re staring at your screen waiting for the game to end so you can throw your controller at the wall in anger. Actually, that somewhat describes my experience with the team this season.

JuJu on that beat!

He’s learning! Credit where credit is due. The last drive to milk the clock and end the game was excellent play calling.

After a rocky start, Helton is improving every week. The issue is if his ceiling is Paul Hackett or Pete Carroll.

I think I just committed blasphemy comparing his cranberries to Pete’s big balls.

This will be something Trojan fans will have to accept this year. While Darnold has been amazing, he is guaranteed to make a few mistakes every game. He’s young and still gaining experience . Just look at Josh Rosen last year. After the first few weeks where every college football writer was ready to hand him the Heisman he regressed and began to play like a freshman. Now look at Josh Rosen this year…

Okay, bad comparison, but just accept the fact that Darnold is going to have a fumble or a bad throw every game. We can only hope the good outweighs the bad.

Don’t let USC get hot! Despite the turnovers USC was able to knock “ranked” Colorado off the high horse (or Buffalo) they rode in on. Now if we can put together four quarters of good football, we’ll be cooking with gas! But if we can, let’s save it for Washington because the next three weeks should be a cakewalk (I might regret saying this).

Post Game

These rankings can’t account fumbles and interceptions, but it’s staggering how fast “Hey Darnold” has come out of the gate. The future looks bright with football head behind center.

Justin Davis has been the bell cow running back this season and it looks like we won’t be seeing him until we face off against Cal.

After several weeks in the shop, it looks like the Texas Tesla will need get motoring in the absence of Justin Davis. Hopefully his offensive line can alleviate any traffic and provide some clear lanes for the sophomore running back.

The Buffaloes must have had a layover in Utah on the way to the game, because there’s some salt in this response..

It was definitely the offense’s “rhythm” the lead to Colorado scoring only 17 points, well below their average this season. Nothing to do with having a very weak schedule so far and playing a superior opponent. Nope, not at all.

The silver lining of a 3–3 season is that we are the best of all our rivals. UCLA and Notre Dame are struggling and have shown no indication of improvement. They need to step up their game or else our “toughest schedule in the nation” excuse won’t hold up at the end of the year. We will have to use the “inexperienced coaches making bad play calling and personnel decisions” instead.

The Return of the Hypotheticals

Chris Petersen. The one that got away. I mean, the one Pat Haden let get away.

Once again, the Pac-12 South is wide open and despite two early conference losses, USC is still in the running for a bid to the Pac-12 Championship. A little too early and a lot too optimistic.

USC needs to be 6–3 before heading to Washington to have a chance at a legitimate bowl game. I don’t need a third consecutive Holiday Bowl.

Oh god, we are going to be just good enough to give Clay an extra year, aren’t we?

Trojans In The NFL

The only time you’ll be able to see Reggie near campus is if he’s playing the Rams (or the Chargers next year). I don’t know the exact sanctions on him, but USC is basically barred from having him involved with the program or mentioning him in anyway. We almost got in trouble when he entered the Trojan’s locker room during the Pac-12 Championship Game at Levi’s Stadium, the stadium of his then team.

Reggie can’t talk to players unless they come to his NFL games but the NCAA allows Penn State to honor Joe Paterno every year! Seems fair.

Past and present Trojan greats. Hopefully Reggie was able to give Jackson some good advice like preparing for the NFL and what to do when the agent that gave your family a house is threatening you.

Now someone get Reggie off of our campus before we lose 15 more scholarships.

The hashtag almost makes up for the outrageous outfit. Looks like something you’d see at a Kanye West fashion show.

I like when Rex Ryan uses his team captain selection to troll his opponent but this was a nice touch to honor the former Trojans currently on his team.

Not as great as his pick-six against Andrew Luck, but Nickell Robey still shines in the Coliseum.

Game Preview

Another week, another favorite. Feels good to be back on the right side of a spread. Expect this line to increase to double digits by game time. I’d take the points. There is no chance the Arizona students are waking up before noon unless their shift at the bar starts at 11 AM.

After recovering from his Twitter battle with Lendale White, it looks like the five-year senior is ready to make his return to the offensive line. I’m not sure this is the best decision as our offense has flourished while he was gone.

You can’t mess with a bad thing and I think the teddy bear needs to ride the pine before we rush him back into the starting lineup.

Shout out for this extremely bizarre statistic. But it actually checks out.

It’s no secret the Jones can get a little homesick, sometimes literally, when he hasn’t had his Whataburger. So it’s a good thing the Trojans are traveling to Arizona so he can get his burger fix.

RoJo ran for 177 and had two touchdowns against Arizona last year. He will need a similar performance to fill the hole left by Justin Davis’ injury.

You think coaches like Saban or Harbaugh are sympathetic to their opponent’s injuries? They probably try to hide a fist pump when they see an updated injury report land on their desk.

Nice guys finish last (and they also punt).

So is Arizona running an option this year, or is just a new form of labeling black quarterbacks without trying to be racist? I prefer when people use “dual-threat” instead.

Should be a fun game for Adoree’. All we need to do is have the defense force some three and outs and watch Adoree’ weave through the Wildcats like information through an Arizona grad’s brain.

Another stellar receiver going against Adoree’ and Iman. I’m sure this will end well for them.

The only time height matters is when draft scouts analyze Russell Wilson’s ability to make it in the NFL or if you’re under 6' and trying to get a date on an online app.

The Trojans should have no problem against the Wildcats, which leads me to believe this will be a very close game. This is just want USC does. You can’t count on them getting their business done against lesser opponents, especially when they are in conference.

Arizona is one of the worst teams in the Pac-12. Neither side of the ball should scare USC, but that doesn’t mean the Trojans won’t get in their own way. With Justin Davis out, USC will be lacking in the running game unless RoJo can slip out of his sophomore slump. And the turnover problem isn’t something that is going to get solved in a week.

Barring a catastrophic failure of epic proportions, there’s no way USC loses this game.

USC 38 Arizona 21

Update

USC by a billion.

You can follow me on twitter at Sports By Scondi

Special thanks to my numerous “editors”; Tim, Tommy, and Christina

Sources: USC Athletics, SBNation, Conquest Chronicles, ESPN, Reign of Troy, Rivals, Scout, Barstool Sports, Deadspin, Wikipedia, Google, ESPN, and a lot of other places