FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT

As the festive season draws closer, staff at the recently-rebranded Betoota Bottle Shop & Nang Boutique are looking forward to some much-deserved time with their families.

For Assistant Vice-Manager Jim Ford this can mean only one thing; listening to the lickspittles drone on about how they need to spend time with their neglected kids and parents before putting them out of their misery by selecting “Rejected” from the drop-down menu.

“Obviously Christmas is our busiest time of year,” explained Jim to another hopeful employee “and nothing would make me happier than giving everybody time off, it really would. Unfortunately, you are too valuable to let go, even for a short period of time.”

As young employee Chantelle Nougat leaves the office, she has learned a valuable lesson; that the solution is clearly to be valuable enough to not get fired, but annoying enough that management will jump at the chance to be rid of her over the Christmas break.

“I think I’ll take some online Excel classes, and also stop showering,” Chantelle said, when asked about her plans for the future.

“Or maybe I’ll stay back to do some deep cleaning and also become a close-talker. Maybe I should smile all the time but also start wearing tap shoes.”

Meanwhile, Jim presses the intercom button and calls the next hapless employee into the Assistant Vice Manager’s Office.

“I wish they would get their arses into gear and submit their leave applications” he said.

“I really need to finish rejecting them before I go on my 2-month cruise. Wait, does the red light mean the intercom is on or off?”