ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Receiving the homebrewing kit for his birthday in August, one local waterproofer turned brewmaster got to sample his first batch this today after weeks of toil.

And the results are in: it’s the best beer he’s ever tasted.

Linden Monk took time out of his busy afternoon to talk to The Advocate about the process, sacrifice and personal hardship that went into the inaugural brew.

“My uncle Tim is an avid homebrewer and I told him over Christmas that I was considering getting into it as piss costs a bomb these days,” said the 26-year-old.

“So he sent over one of his old brew kits for my birthday a few months ago and next thing I know, I’m making beer in my laundry! Tim also send a Coopers Pale Ale kit that comes with all the instructions and everything on the back,”

“I didn’t follow them to a tee, I definitely went a bit freestyle on the recipe. Like they said to keep it in a cool, dry place. Well, it sat atop my dryer the whole time so it was hot, damp and full of lint. Still, the yeast took and it fermented.”

However, it wasn’t all smooth sailing for the convicted car radio theif.

As he quickly ran out of bottles when he began bottling the wort about a month ago, Monk was forced to use everything from half-empty Mountain Dew bottles to his housemates SodaStream.

“You see, the combination happens inside the bottle. The sugar you put in the bottle turns into bubbles. But we couldn’t wait for weeks, so we put some in the SodaStream to see what happened. It was messy but fun,”

“To cut a long story short, the finished product is going to make me rich. It’s the best beer I’ve ever had.”

More to come.

Order Betoota Bitter from Dan Murphy’s today and it’ll be there before you know it.