Magic Story Abridged: Kytheon Iora of Akros

(Episode 3; Original Story HERE)







Art by Chase Stone







AKROS, THEROS

A PRISON

Kytheon Iora, a thirteen-year-old street rat: Prison sucks, but at least I-

Jace Beleren, a blue mage: WAIT, WAIT WAIT! You forgot my story!





Art by Chase Stone



The Narrator, a goblin: I did? Crap! Alright, what was your story, Jace?

Jace Beleren, an amnesiac: …I don’t remember.



The Narrator: Then how should I know it?

Jace Beleren, an annoyance: I’m sure it’s important!

The Narrator: Well, as soon as you remember it, you come tell me, but until then…





Art by Willian Murai



AKROS, THEROS

A PRISON

Kytheon Iora, who has been waiting patiently during our rude interruption: Prison sucks, but at least I’ve got you, best buddy.

Drasus, arrested on unrelated crimes: I’m glad I’ve got you, too. It’s hard work here, though. We have to push a big wheel all day, and Prison King Ristos takes half of our food.

Kytheon: Don’t worry. I can fix that.

(Kytheon beats up like seven mooks and makes rude faces at Ristos. Without mooks, Ristos gets beat up by literally everyone else.)





Art by Eric Deschamps



Kytheon: Yeah, I’m awesome!

Hixus, the warden: Yes, you are awesome.

Kytheon: Ack, the guy in charge!

Hixus: The guy with the keys. Strike me down and you will be able to escape.

Kytheon: That would be wrong.

Hixus: Perfect! You have passed my secret test of character! Train under me, and I shall teach you how to do all sorts of cool magic and to be a benevolent and beloved king of the prison!

Kytheon: …Do I get to go free sooner?

Hixus: Eh, don’t get ahead of yourself.

(Insert EPIC TRAINING MONTAGE here. What you want to imagine is Kytheon learning white magic with chains and deflections and all that stuff all morning and pushing a big wooden wheel all afternoon, with a badass rock song playing in the background that we can’t afford the royalties for. Also, we get a camera twist at the end that replaces Kytheon with an older actor, who’s actually like twenty but is playing seventeen for this movie because do you have any idea how much more of a pain it is to work with actors under eighteen when you can just get someone a few years older with no penalty at that point?)





Art by Chris Rallis



Art by Chris Rallis



Art by Chris Rallis



Art by Igor Kieryluk



(Immediately after Montage ends, UNIDENTIFIED SCREAMING, and lots of it. Hixus gathers the prisoners)

Hixus: Good news, everyone! A swarm of monsters are attacking the city. Everyone who wants to be given a weapon to go fight them will be given a full pardon for all their crimes.

Drasus: Even the murderous cannibal rapists?

Hixus: Shut up.

(Kytheon leads some people who were probably imprisoned for very good reason to great glory in battle against Harpies. Kytheon and Drasus rejoin their old street gang, the Irregulars, and fight some Cyclopes together. Then, they strike a pose because the day is saved and everything is perfect)





Art by Raymond Swanland, Drasus is the one on the far right



Heliod, a God, probably not Kytheon’s father: Hey, kid. Catch.

(He tosses Kytheon a spear)

Kytheon: HOLY CRAP IT’S GOD YOU’RE GOD GOD IS TALKING TO ME WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I-

Heliod: Kill that giant monster.

Kytheon: YES SIR MISTER GOD SIR!

(Kytheon and the Irregulars fight a thirty foot zombie, once again to a badass rock song that we don’t have the rights to.)





Art by Karl Kopinski, Drasus is again the one on the far right



Kytheon: We just slew a titan for a god! We are the best! We are awesome! We are unbeatable!

Erebos, a different god: …Hey, kid, did you kill my monster?

Kytheon: Yeah, and I’m gonna mess you up, too!

(Kytheon attacks Erebos. Erebos attacks back. EVERYTHING EXPLODES)

Kytheon: Foolish god! You can’t kill me! I AM INVINCIBLE!

Erebos: Sure, but they’re not.

(Kytheon looks around, sees Drasus and his friends that never got names or lines lying dead)

Kytheon: I… No. No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-





Art by Winona Nelson, Drasus is still the one on the far right



Art by Anastasia Ovchinnikova



VALERON, BANT

Kytheon: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo? Wait, what?

Moukir, a knight: You look lost. And are screaming. What’s your name?

Kytheon: Kytheon.

Moukir: Gideon?

Kytheon: No, it’s-

Moukir: HEY EVERYBODY! THIS GUY’S NAME IS GIDEON! HE SEEMS LOST!

A knight: Hi, Gideon!

Kytheon: I said-

A squire: Hello, Mister Gideon.

Kytheon: My name is–

An shining, beautiful, perfect Bant angel: Welcome to our home, Gideon. You have a lovely name.

Kytheon: …Yes. Gideon. It is the best name. And it is mine.





Art by Matt Stewart



Jace Beleren, not in this story: I REMEMBER NOW! I went to Ravnica!

The Narrator: And?

Jace Beleren: …That’s all I’ve got.

The Narrator: Goodnight, everybody!





