It's been 15 years since Courtney Struble vanished without a trace in Estevan.

With every year that passes, Nicole Burkholder worries she won't be able to hold onto the memories of her friend.

"I don't want to feel like I'm forgetting her," she said.

Struble was 13 when she disappeared. Police reports detailed her hazel eyes, the birthmark on the nape of her neck, and a scar on her shin.

The time spent with Struble seems like a lifetime ago for Burkholder. She tries to hold onto memories of their teenage nights spent around bonfires or hanging at the town's youth centre. The place was smaller back then, but it seemed bigger at the time.

Struble was last seen walking alone on July 9, 2004. She was heading into Estevan from a friend's place on the outskirts of town, and had declined a ride home.

Little is known about what happened next, and 15 years later the case is cold.

"No one disappears out of thin air, like someone knows something," Burkholder said.

Investigators found Struble's stuffed animals, wallet and make-up at home. She had made plans with friends for later in the week and had a part-time job.

Her bank account and health card never showed activity after she disappeared.

Burkholder said she has walked through countless scenarios in her head — trying to make sense of the unanswered puzzle.

She still muses about semis passing often through Estevan — perhaps going by Struble the night she was walking alone — heading to and from the border.

"Did someone pick her up, say 'hey, I'll give you a ride uptown, and something went wrong?"

She noted some people, including police, seemed to believe that Struble had run away. Burkholder noted her friend had felt her home life was turbulent and that she had trouble with certain family members.

Struble would stay with friends like Burkholder, and she was known for calling a friend or her grandmother.

The circumstances that followed July 9, 2004 seemed out of place. Struble's silence was unusual.

From runaway to homicide victim

Sgt. Donna Zawislak, who works with the RCMP Historical Crimes Unit in Saskatchewan, noted that Struble's trouble at home was reported to police when she first went missing.

She can't speak to decisions made by local police, but noted that the department had to deal with many rumours when Struble first went missing.

There were several reported sightings of the 13-year-old in and out of province and Zawislak suspects some of those reports came from people who knew Struble.

"The reason they did this was, I think, more so just to kind of protect Courtney, so she wouldn't get in any trouble," Zawislak said.

The rumours of sightings never amounted to anything concrete, but investigators had to spend time on them.

The Estevan Police Department were the first investigators in the case. The detachment declined to comment, saying the case is now with the RCMP.

RCMP reviewed the file and took over the case in 2010. Investigators determined Struble was likely the victim of a homicide.

Time a double-edged sword

The case is cold, but it's still open and alive with the historical unit. It will be until police find Struble — or find out what happened to her, Zawislak said.

With cases like this, time can be both good and bad.

Memories dissipate, physical environments change with development, and the physical nature of remains changes.

We believe someone knows what happened to Courtney. We really do and we just want those people to come forward. - RCMP Sgt. Donna Zawislak

However, there's been technological and medical advancements that help police identify remains.

Zawislak said time can also play in their favour as people age or are exposed to different pressures.

She also noted all of Struble's teenage friends are adults now.

"Sometimes people will come forward where they previously maybe wouldn't have shared anything with us," she said.

​"We believe someone knows what happened to Courtney. We really do and we just want those people to come forward."​​​​​

Zawislak said the disappearance of a young person is traumatic and can change a community.

"People start becoming very cautious with their own families," she said. That's because "it could have been their child."

"We don't know if it's somebody living in their community, or was it someone who was known to the victim or was it someone who was passing through?"

Holding onto hope

She said the families are also deeply affected and isolated, and sometimes police can't ever provide closure. Still, cold case investigators encourage families keep up hope.

"If you don't have hope, you don't have anything."

Danielle Struble remembers her cousin, Courtney, as being spunky, up for anything and fearless.

She was 15 when it happened and she remains anxious to this day because of it.

"You can move from the community, that's no problem, but if the problem is in the family there's nothing you can do about it."

She said she's become a bit of a "hermit," who doesn't go out and has pulled away from some relatives.

"You always have that paranoid moment in your mind when you're with other people that they know something," she said. "They know and they're not saying, and it hurts people."

It's an impossible feeling to shake, for her.

Friend laments milestones missed

Burkholder, meanwhile, has tried to balance hope with the need for closure. She longs to see her friend's face — and look at how she's changed over the last 15 years.

"So many milestones were missed with each other," she said, taking a moment to choke back tears. Burkholder noted that she's changed, too. She even has a child now and part of her parenting has been shaped by Struble's disappearance.

She panics if her son is playing outside and she doesn't hear from him.

Courtney Jennelle Struble is described by her friend as an outgoing, bubbly person who could get along with anyone. (Unsolved Canada)

"I know how easy it is for someone to just be gone, and it's just — every year it gets harder, and harder, and harder."

She longs for closure, even if it comes in a form as daunting as a memorial service.

"You hold onto hope, but at the same time you almost have to mourn that person."

With each anniversary, she wonders if a development in the case will come. Stranger things have happened. Missing people have been found.