The positive affect of saying NO on your personal life

Do not fear the NO. It may seem like a powerfully intimidating two letter word. But for such a tiny word, NO is profoundly liberating. When you decide, “this does not warrant my immediate attention, or this is counterproductive we’re not doing this” you embrace your intuition.

If at any point you’ve already thought about saying NO to something, there’s probably merit for consideration. Saying NO is your battle shield for deflecting distractions, staying true to yourself, and sticking to the course.

Every time you agree to do something you do not believe is right, or want to do, it beats you up mentally. I know firsthand. People like to see progress. To create. The creative process is handicapped when you are playing dodge ball with bullshit you wish you had never committed to.

Trust your gut, your brain will thank you.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life …Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

- Steve Jobs

Solution

This may sound like a disconnect, but I’ve found it’s all about effective communication. People will eventually respect you for disagreeing with them. Saying NO is not the equivalent of flipping a giant middle finger. It’s quite the opposite. It shows you have a vision, a plan, and an opinion.

By clearly articulating your needs, challenges, or deadlines (in advance if possible) you begin to eliminate distractions. In turn, you stop feeling inclined to people please because you have defined a game-plan.

An example from my professional life which has directly increased our company’s revenue on several projects relates to scope creep. Our SOWs have iterated maybe 10 — 15 times in the last 2 years to be more air tight. However, every client wants more than you agree to in an SOW. It’s inevitable as projects evolve, but free work doesn’t pay bills and it depletes your resources.

Saying NO helps me position clients for valuable repeat business opportunities, enables us to adhere to the original plan, and manage project expectations. In the end, a single NO pays dividends.

People pleasing kills production. It can reduce revenue, confound a product’s MVP, and create a guilty inner demon who laughs at you for agreeing to stuff you know is a waste of time. Saying NO, when thoughtfully structured, creates new business opportunities, shows you’re in control of the situation, and ensures projects actually see the light of day.

It also makes you feel fucking good.

Know when to say NO!