It’s NBA Preview time and every aspect of NBA Coverage is starting to brush off the dust from the offseason. ESPN Rank and SI’s recent rankings were vehemently criticized by fans, other media members, and even NBA players. Ranking Carmelo Anthony 64th might be egregious, but ESPN Fantasy Projections looked at every gaffe ESPN Rank and SI made and said...

Hold.

My.

Big.

Board.

Team Rankings

ESPN Fantasy gives overall rankings as well as rankings within a team. The Mavs top three checked out: Harrison Barnes, Wesley Matthews, and the faceless Dennis Smith Jr. Matthews should be lower on this list but don’t get caught up in that ranking just yet—it gets better.

The order of the next three are arguable but not ridiculous: Dirk Nowitzki, Nerlens Noel, and Seth Curry.

Then, out of nowhere, he hears his music and CHARLIE V resurfaces from the depths forced retirement takes his place as the 8th ranked Maverick in ESPN’s Fantasy rankings. Normally Devin Harris ranking above J.J. Barea or even Yogi Ferrell would be the most ridiculous thing on a list of this sort but what coding error had to happen for Charlie Villanueva to actually be ranked for Fantasy Basketball?!

If that wasn’t insane enough, 10-15 (somehow) took another turn: Josh McRoberts, Manny Harris (!), Jeff Withey, Pierre Jackson (!!), Dwight Powell, and SATNAM SINGH!!!

Josh McRoberts has played 64 games in the last two years, last we heard Manny Harris worked out for the Pistons in June, Pierre Jackson signed with Maccabi FOX Tel Aviv in Israel, and Satnam Singh has never even been offered a 10-Day contract.

This is truly the murderer’s row for Fantasy Rankings in the sense that whoever normally does these rankings must have been murdered and replaced with a horse who is also being silenced for his political beliefs.

There are 15 Standard Contracts allowed per NBA team (plus two additional Two-Way Contracts) but ESPN’s rankings were not done. Next up: Salah Mejri, Ben Bentil (!), Dorian Finney-Smith, Jonathan Gibson (!!), and finally: Yogi Ferrell.

Overall Rankings

These rankings weren’t just bad for the Mavericks, the rankings of the entire league were hilariously flawed with 694 total players being ranked (#692 Frank Ntilikina and #694 Milos Teodosic). Here are the Mavericks’ overall rankings:

Harrison Barnes: 74th

Wes Matthews: 103

Dennis Smith Jr: 106 (Darren Collison is 105)

Dirk Nowitzki: 109

Nerlens Noel: 110

Seth Curry: 128

Devin Harris: 195

CHARLIE V: 219

J.J. Barea: 232

Josh McRoberts: 241

Manny Harris: 317

Jeff Withey: 379

Pierre DeShawn(?) Jackson: 391

DWIGHT POWELL 434

(Note: There are 450 Standard Contract players in the NBA and 510 total players in the NBA with Two-Way Contracts included)

Satnam Singh: 537

Salah Mejri: 547 (AJ Hammons was 573)

Ben Bentil: 582

Dorian Finney-Smith: 617

Jonathan Gibson: 620

YOGI FERRELL: 637...

It’s hard to imagine 636 NBA Players better than Yogi Ferrell, but then again, it’s hard to imagine 637 NBA Players. If there were actually 694 players like the number of players ESPN Ranked then each team would employ 23 players. Until G-League players start earning fantasy points then ESPN might want to sit down with their Rankings Machine.