Honey Badgers' terrorist attack foiled by feminist heroes #GamerGate

You may have heard of the Calgary Comic Expo. It's a huge Canadian comic book convention where all voices are welcomed, and the free exchange of ideas is encouraged. They can't have enough dissenting points of view at the Calgary Expo. Their motto has always been "Stand against censorship." Or maybe I heard that somewhere else... but I'm sure the Calgary Expo would agree with it.



Unfortunately, not everyone does agree with that motto. The Honey Badgers terrorist organization, known internationally as Al-Qaeda, was having none of that. They devised a plan to infiltrate the peaceful convention in order to spread their hateful message of MEN'S RIGHTS! Which is ridiculous. Everyone knows that men can't have rights, because rights = humanity - penis.



Here's the official statement from the Badgers' male supremacist manifesto:



"In April of this year, the Honey Badgers plan to commit a worse than 9/11 attack against women in comics. We plan to infiltrate the Calgary Comic Expo by replacing all of their surveillance footage with footage from last year's Expo, cutting their silent alarms, killing 3 guards, and then entering through the north wall of the building using our battle tank. Each of us has been carefully undergoing plastic surgery to modify our physical appearances so that we look like women. Once there, we will confiscate everyone's comic books and begin cutting out all of the female heroes using a pair of scissors. We will leave the female villains and damsels, as they serve our goal of using seemingly harmless entertainment to teach men to rape."



Once inside, the Badgers violently disrupted a feminist panel on revoking the law that currently makes it a federal crime for women to read or write comic books in most countries, including the US and Canada. Alison Tieman rushed the stage and shoved down a feminist speaker who was in a wheelchair. He then planted his GamerGate flag in the ground and claimed all comic books in the name of the Patriarchy. It seemed as though all was lost.



Fortunately, the Badgers made one crucial mistake that would cost them their chance at victory. You see, while cutting the silent alarms at the Calgary Expo, they'd forgotten to cut one. The one that goes to the Social Justice League headquarters. Alerted as to what was going on, our heroes sprang to action. They immediately took to Twitter, where they bravely cried about the Honey Badgers being at the Expo. It worked! Within minutes, the Badgers were banned from the Calgary Expo, all affiliated comic book conventions, and picnics.



This is exactly what happened, by the way. For anyone who doubts it, watch this video of the Badgers disrupting the convention and see for yourself. You can hear one of the Badgers demanding to see their favorite (MALE!) comic book character, Harvey Dent. https://youtu.be/sckInULQByY



Disclosure: I'm not telling you shit. Stop harassing me.

Reply · Report Post