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PLEASANTON, CA(James Ryan Lowe)—Offering a myriad of suggestions for the disenfranchised group, area suburban dad Mike Baker was reported to be an expert on how black men, particularly those living in inner-city areas riddled with crime, should interact with police.

The suburban man has offered to black men who live in high-crime areas countless pieces of advice. He has proclaimed his expertise on social media, declaring how black men could have avoided being shot if they had simply treated the officers with respect and had lower quantities of melanin present in their skin. He has also expressed unwavering support for the officers involved in these controversial shootings.

Baker’s expertise regarding the subject matter has been confirmed, according to sources. Baker, who is white, has himself interacted with police on several occasions. He has been pulled over for speeding two separate times, but was let off with a warning each time for treating the officer with respect and having ancestors from western Europe. On a different date, a police officer recorded the information of the 43-year-old father of two when a distracted driver collided with his Ford F-150.

“I don’t get it,” Baker publicly stated. “All these men have to do is be respectful to law enforcement officers, who are just doing their jobs, and be born with a fair complexion. I do it. Tons of others do it. Why can’t they?”

At press time, Baker was reportedly preparing to go for a walk through his neighborhood, not worried that he would be mistreated by law enforcement due to his utmost respect for police officers and his pale skin tone.

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