hewasatwunt Wed 15-Apr-20 22:51:20

Hi, please don't shoot me.



I was involved with someone who turned out to be quite dodgy. Some of you will recognized the details- have name changed just in case he views posts under my other usernames.

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I think his wife should know about the hundreds of sexual assignations he's had outside marriage. I don't particularly have an axe to grind now, I just genuinely think she should know. She's in her mid 50s, she could choose a different life if she wanted.



Some people on various forums already gave me a lot of help writing this. Do any of you have any other tweaks you can suggest?

All names etc have been changed.

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Hi Sue, I thought you deserved to know what’s happening.



Bob is constantly seeking opportunities for encounters.



He was having an involvement with me for the best part of 18 months, from July 2018 until January 2020. I blocked him because I realized what he was like. I'm really sorry and won’t interfere in your marriage again.



Whenever he said he was with Fred and me, he was just with me. Sometimes he maybe said he was with us overnight, or gave some other excuse to be away; he was just with me. After I took him back home from his treatment, three times a week, there was some activity involved.



There’s a woman he’s seeing at times at his treatment, called Lucy. Maybe he said he was setting off early before treatment solely to give her a lift. That is not always the case. He also sometimes meets her in the afternoons.



He talks to a woman online called Eve. He has encouraged her to send him explicit photographs and videos. He’s frequently propositioning women online and asking for photos or to meet.



The first woman he mentioned having had an affair with was called Suzie and lived in Blackpool. I think that started at some point while he was studying at Manchester and finished a while after he finished there.



Around six years ago he was seeing Mina who attended the gaming club at the time. At one point they went to a bed and breakfast for a night, I think somewhere up north. His involvement with her lasted a few months.



He is bisexual and also goes to ‘adult cinemas’ where he engages in acts with several male strangers at a time. He’s been doing this for decades and it will have been hundreds if not thousands of men. He does not tend to use protection for his activities there. He tries to get women to go along to the cinema with him to join in with these pursuits, and sometimes succeeds.



There’s another woman, also called Sue, who he’s been involved with at times over the years. He invited her to go to the cinema/swingers’ clubs too. He didn’t mention this woman to me, so it just goes to show that what I’m able to let you know is just the tip of the iceberg.



There’s another dimension to this in that the women he targets or succeeds with tend to be vulnerable, or at a vulnerable time in their lives. He is exploitative, coercive and manipulative. He also lies to get what he wants, including about the nature of your relationship. Some women didn’t give meaningful consent as it was when they were ill, through exploiting their vulnerabilities, or it was given under false pretenses.



Sorry to let you know about all this, but I thought you should be aware.



-Judy.



P.S. If you want more evidence or to discuss this further, you can contact me