"The truth is, though, that the rejection you might be manifesting in your mind is so much worse than it will be in real life," says Megan Stubbs , EdD, a sexologist and relationship expert based in Michigan. "Most people are polite, and chances are they aren't going to reject you outright." But this fear of rejection can also manifest in a completely different way: expecting other people to approach you. "People think that dating and finding a relationship is a passive state of being," Dr. Costa says. "Whether you're online, or doing it organically, you've got to learn to drop your ego. You can be looking for a casual hookup and have ego, but you can't have ego and be looking for a relationship."