Carved

Chapter 1: Eternity is a glorious word

Present Day, Pittsburgh

Anna's face was haunting her dreams again.

The beginning of a semester was never easy to deal with. A month worth of recurring nightmares did nothing to help her through that time. She'd wake up drenched in cold sweat in the middle of the night at least three times a week, and even on days she managed to sleep undisturbed she still felt like a zombie in the morning.

With a splitting headache, she dragged herself out of her bed on a rainy Sunday near the end of the Summer and looked around her room. Everything she could need for the next few months was already packed, safe only for the clothes she wanted to wear now and the few cosmetics she still had to use before they could be packed as well. Miraculously, she managed to fit in two bags and a small backpack, a feat she had never achieved before. She made her way over to the kitchenette and turned on the electric kettle to make herself one last cup of coffee before the journey. Normally, she'd eat breakfast as well, but the images from her dream were still fresh in her mind and heavy in her stomach. She doubted she'd be able to hold any food in for long in this state.

Once the water boiled and she poured it to her favorite mug, she took a quick shower. Then she got dressed and sipped the coffee while working on her make up. It was still early–and quiet because of that–but her laptop was packed and waiting by the door and she had a feeling that once she sat down to work or watch some videos she'd miss her train. Even if there were still forty minutes left before she had to leave.

Elsa sighed. She really liked this apartment. It had to be the best one she had in the past few years, and she would miss it dearly for the next months. But however much she liked staying in it, she couldn't stand the stagnation for too long. It was high time she went and learned something new–and actually cared for something for the first time in a decade.

It was no wonder those dreams came to her now.

"Living my life to the fullest," she muttered into her cup as she stared through the window and watched the city wake up. The first cars were already roaming the streets and people seeped out of their homes onto the rain-drenched pavements.

What a nice Sunday morning to try and leave everything behind once more.

When she was done with her coffee, washed the cup and made sure there was absolutely no food left in the fridge and everything was unplugged, she decided there was nothing wrong with leaving ten minutes earlier than she'd planned. It gave her more emergency time in case anything happened on the way. That, plus if she lingered there any longer, she might actually change her mind. Again.

Getting downstairs with two heavy bags and a backpack on her back was no small feat, but she managed. Waiting in the drizzle for the taxi to come after barely sleeping that night hurt her joints, but she managed. It was only once she was sitting in the backseat and watching the city pass by that her insides started flipping. She had everything in check, at least she hoped she did. Her ID was impeccable. Fake background rehearsed and learned by heart. Flat locked, keys heavy in her pocket.

This was it. She was really going back to college.

After almost an hour of waiting at the windy station she was actually glad for the hot and stuffy air inside the train. She made herself comfortable in her seat, her tablet placed securely in her lap. A few years ago she would sneer at anybody who told her she would ever use, not to mention actually own one, but even she wasn't insusceptible to change. It never came easy to her to abandon her old ways–but she couldn't deny having a thousand ebooks for the weight and space taken of less than one paper book was a convenience.

Her thoughts stopped for a moment when a flash of red–just the right shade–hair passed by her window. She craned her neck to look for it instinctively, but just as fast as it appeared it was gone in the crowd of people waiting for departure. With an annoyed huff, she eased back into the seat again and angrily turned the tablet on.

After all these years she still reacted the same. Red hair of the exact hue, a similar voice, a familiar scent were all guaranteed to make her do a double-take. Forever searching. Some shimmer of hope lying deep in her heart, waiting.

She knew there was no point. It's been years now since she understood that however much she wished there was no way to bring back the dead. That even with whatever sorcery that made her the way she was, there was no way to turn back time. But a stupid little part of her just couldn't give up.

The train started moving right as she chose a book she'd wanted to read for some time now. An eight hour ride was more than enough time for that.

She gave up to exhaustion and fell asleep at some point in her journey, about halfway through the book. When she woke up later, fighting off the haze of a dream and the lingering sense of Anna all around her, they were already arriving at the destination. People were hurriedly leaving their seats, putting coats on and taking their luggage from the overhead racks, but Elsa couldn't bring herself to move. She just sat there, still overwhelmed by the memories she got to relive for the second time this day. The air, simply stuffy before, was suddenly heavy as lead in her lungs.

"Excuse me," the man sitting next to her said and she turned to look at him. For a moment, she saw Kristoff and almost screamed–but then her eyes focused to reveal a boy younger than Kristoff was even when she met him, with hair just a shade darker and worry written all over his face. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, thank you," she answered politely through clenched throat. Out the corner of her eye she saw a sheer sheet of frost cover the edge of the window and felt panic grip at her lungs. Many years passed since the last time an accident like this happened to her, she had lived enough with her powers to learn to control them to the fullest, so much so she could almost forget they existed when she didn't need them. But the nightmares she had lately, topped with the one she just had pushed her out of balance. She was unhinged. "B-but I could use some help with my bags," she said hurriedly to change the subject. His eyes darted upwards, and Elsa used the distraction to take care of the frost.

He nodded, then stood up and reached for her luggage while she did everything in her might to at least present calm and collected. "There you go." He placed both of her bags on his own seat while Elsa stood up and took her coat of the hook by the window. She made sure to check there was no trace of rime left anywhere.

"Thank you." She smiled at him, and he smiled back in a totally non-Kristoff way. There was nothing Kristoff-like about him anymore, now that she took a closer look. What she saw before was influenced only by her own wicked mind.

Her heart slowed down finally just as the train came to a halt at Baltimore Penn Station.

The usual mayhem that ensued with people trying to leave the train as fast as possible–as if they only had thirty seconds to do so, otherwise they would be kept in that train forever–made it easier to shrug off what just happened. So she took a strange man for her late brother-in-law, big deal. It's not like it was the first time it happened, anyway. But even as he passed her the bags with the kindest, warmest smile she'd seen in many years, she couldn't deny there was something eerie. Like the whole world was trying to tell her she shouldn't have come here.

She would roll her eyes at herself for thinking that way if not for the people who could see her now. The whole world wasn't about her.

The new apartment in Baltimore was much bigger than she'd initially thought. Sure, she knew there were going to be two bedrooms, but she had no idea said bedrooms were both going to be almost the same size as the living room. Which alone was almost the size of her whole apartment in Pittsburgh. Not to mention the separate kitchen, the big bathroom and a corridor wide enough to put a wardrobe in and still pass without brushing shoulders on the walls. In a sense, she knew it was nice, fancy even. As a former Queen who used to live in a freaking castle, she should more than appreciate this.

But the reality was that it only made her feel anxious. There was a reason her previous flat–oh how she wished she'd stayed there, this was a bad idea–was so small. She wanted to be alone, but didn't want to feel as alone as she did in this big apartment. A living room that was also a bedroom that was also actually a kitchen barely separated from the bathroom turned out to be just perfect for her. If she had to get up from her bed and actually walk to get herself a glass of water it meant the flat was too big. And here she would have to open two doors on the way.

Despite that, it was aesthetically pleasing. The walls in every room were the same color–freshly painted off-white–aside for the bathroom, where they were covered with dark gray tiles. The floors were hardwood in the corridor, living room and the bedrooms and what seemed to be actual polished stone in both the bathroom and the kitchen. Fully furnished and properly decorated, and yet it felt so empty.

She sat down at the table in the living room with her laptop and a piece of paper with a to-do list scribbled on. Some of the things she'd already crossed out–choosing a bedroom for herself, unpacking her clothes and putting them in the wardrobe, setting the bed and putting her cosmetics in the bathroom–but the list was long and merely looking at it gave her a headache. The first logical step would be to go and get some groceries, since the brand new fridge was empty. Then, if she wanted to eat, she'd also have to take care of the box of new dishes and cutlery standing on the kitchen counter. Learning where all the nearest shops and diners was on the list as well, but that would probably come naturally with time. The pressing matter, however, was putting up the freaking ad. She had to start looking for a flatmate as soon as possible if she didn't want the hounds breathing down her neck.

Only four hours passed since she put up the ad and she already received a few responses. One she'd already ruled out due to the undeniable creepiness lingering between the lines, three others have decided that the rent was too high and tried to bargain with her, as if she had any power to change that. So far, she had two appointments scheduled till Friday. The whole flatmate hunt went easier than expected, though this could still change once the actual people came to visit. She wasn't really the most sociable person at her prime time, and it's been many years now since she spent more than a quarter hour in someone's consistent presence.

Living with somebody? A sick, twisted, outright horrible idea, but it was part of the deal that she couldn't break out from now. The goal was to find the right person who wouldn't push her boundaries further than absolutely necessary.

With most of her tasks for today checked out–a thing she was rather proud of, she didn't expect to actually do all of that–she was riding the Metro back to her new home. It was past dinner time already and she still hasn't eaten anything that day, what her stomach decided to remind her every now and then. She considered just devouring a half of the deliciously smelling baguette that sticked out of one of her grocery bags, but decided to at least pretend to still have any of her former manners. Eating dry bread while standing squeezed like a sardine amongst a crowd of people? Not very queenly.

The car came to a stop at a station and the crowd slowly seeped out onto the concrete platform. Elsa was so deep in her thoughts–doing a mental once over of her list for the tenth time–that she almost didn't realize it was her stop as well. She jumped out at the very last moment, the door snapping shut right behind her back, almost catching her braid. Which would probably result in a very unfortunate way to die, she thought morbidly.

She looked down to make sure she had all her shopping bags, then patted the front pocket of her pants to check her phone was still there. It buzzed right at that moment and she reluctantly took it out to check the message. Another e-mail concerning her add, much longer and with much more questions than the last few. She sighed, took one quick look ahead to make sure she was walking in the right direction then returned to scanning the screen. With the bags hanging from her left wrist, the plastic biting into her skin painfully, she began to type up a response. She made sure to take cautious glances every now and then to avoid bumping into anyone.

Who the hell asks for such details?, she thought to herself as she re-read the e-mail again to make sure she was addressing all the points. Was there a window in the bathroom? Hell, she didn't even remember now. She'd paid no attention to that before and it seemed bizarre anyone would. The only reason she was responding was because the woman who wrote the message seemed to be a tidy person, maybe even a bit too tidy. Still, that was better than a total slob, and the only other woman who wrote to her seemed to be on that end of the spectrum.

Busy writing, she didn't pay too much attention to her surroundings, until her eye involuntarily saw it. A blur of red–just the right shade–on the horizon. She tried to ignore it, to keep focused on the words she was typing, but that tiny annoying part of her brain just wouldn't let her. Resigned, she looked up from the phone shortly to indulge her curiosity. Straight ahead of her, in the crowd moving in the opposite direction. A girl with hair bright auburn like Anna's. Frustration boiled within Elsa's guts and she tried to pry her eyes away and back to the phone, but she just couldn't. The girl was getting closer slowly with the current of people. Her hair was pulled up in a loose ponytail slung over her shoulder, shining brightly even in the dim light of the Metro station. After a moment passed, Elsa noticed she was browsing through her smartphone with earbuds in her ears. She was nodding her head to the rhythm of her music, face hidden partially by what looked like a white iPhone. Another few seconds and it seemed she finally found what she was looking for. She set the phone aside, and Elsa's blood froze.

From the distance–no more than thirty yards–she looked exactly like her. Her skin held the same contrast to her hair as Anna's did. Her big eyes were the same shape, even though it wasn't easy to tell with her looking at her feet. Her nose was small above rosy lips. Hell, she was even the same height.

Elsa wasn't even sure when she stopped walking, with the hand holding her phone hanging limply at her side. She just stared mesmerized at the girl as she got closer, not aware she was being watched. As more details came into picture, Elsa only felt more like in a dream. Every little thing matched. The shape of her face. The way she walked. The little, timid smile on her lips. She was now less than ten feet away and her freckles looked the same.

She almost brushed her shoulder along Elsa's when she passed her, but Elsa still didn't move. This wasn't real, there was just no way this was happening. She lost her mind. Was she even in this city at all, or still in her bed back in Pittsburgh?

"Anna," she mumbled out despite herself. She was just imagining things. She was tired, hungry, and with those nightmares were pestering her every night, it would be no wonder if they altered her view of reality. But still, her body seemed to only want to do one thing now.

Follow the girl. To see her face again, in detail, up front.

She moved out after her without thinking, her mind at the complete mercy of her own body. The girl was just strolling along with the crowd, not minding the occasional shoulder bump as someone passed her in hurry. Her face was buried in her phone again. From behind her, Elsa could see she was answering a message on Facebook, then browsing pictures in another app.

Elsa caught up to her with no problem, but– that was the tricky part. What did she do now?

Of course, her treacherous body seemed to know the answer. She placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. At first she didn't seem to notice, but then she stopped abruptly and turned around, taking out one of her earbuds as she looked up at Elsa questioningly.

That face. There was no way. "Anna?" Elsa said, voice shaking, heavy with so many emotions. Confusion. Happiness. Disbelief. Longing. Fear, for God's sake.

The girl's eyes widened. The exact same color. "Me?" she said in a hesitant voice, but at the same time… it was Anna's hesitant voice. "Do I know you?" She even made the very expression Anna would always make when unsure.

Elsa shook her head. Her mind finally regained control. Disbelief took over all other emotions, declaring immediate retreat. "I'm sorry, I thought–" she muttered, taking a step back. The girl watched her with growing confusion, and not a single trace of recognition. Still shaking her head like a mad woman–and fittingly so–Elsa turned around and dashed.

"Hey!" She heard that wonderful voice shriek behind her, so she clutched her bags tighter and ran faster. "Wait!"

The voice was soon drowned out by the pounding of blood in her ears. With each step she took, the thudding grew stronger, and the world around passed her by like on fast-forward.

She wasn't even looking where she was going at this point, scared the girl might actually follow her, so it was no wonder she ran into somebody. "E-excuse me," she stuttered out to a baffled man that she almost knocked over right onto the floor. Breathing dangerously fast, she looked around herself to see the crowd staring at her in curiosity, but keeping their distance. Like she was a rabid animal escaped from the zoo, ready to pounce at somebody in any given moment.

Her mind was flooded by a million thoughts a second. Anna's face, Anna's voice, Anna standing right here in the Baltimore Metro alive, looking at her, talking to her, not knowing her. A boy walking a few yards away from her slipped and fell. He looked down at the floor in confusion, wondering where the ice came from.

In her efforts to escape the girl she ran in the wrong direction, so she turned away from the boy and quickly made her way towards the proper exit. She needed to get home, close the door and get away from people.

A few hours later–after a couple bites of a sandwich, an unsuccessful nap and a strong coffee–Elsa was more or less ready to admit to herself that she made the whole thing up. Logically speaking, there was no way in the whole universe that what she saw and heard was real. True, the girl probably looked somewhat similar to Anna–after all, redheads often shared similar facial features–and what wasn't the same Elsa's tired mind supplemented with what she wanted to see. Now that she thought about it, she wasn't even sure if the girl really said anything at all–and if she did, it was again Elsa's mind tinkering with her voice to hear what she longed to hear.

Anna was still dead, as much as she wished otherwise.

Elsa took another sip of the lukewarm tea she made over an hour before. It was dark already, but she didn't feel like getting up to light the cold, white light in the living room, so instead she settled for the light of her laptop. The woman from before received her message–that she finished once she calmed down a bit–and even wrote back with yet more unbelievable questions. Elsa was currently considering how to answer How old is the carpet in the living room? without using improper words.

She didn't even want the woman as flatmate anymore, but answering her bizarre questions helped to keep her mind off everything. She had already unpacked the groceries into the fridge and cupboards and took care of the new dishes, going as far as hand washing every piece. Sadly, she couldn't distract herself with TV, since there was no cable yet–another thing she will have to take care of in the nearest future.

Besides, why would Anna look so young? Even if by some glorious miracle she survived all these years and not age, which she couldn't, there was no way to just age down.

She almost slapped herself. She let her guard down for a second and she was already back to thinking about what happened today.

"Nothing happened," she muttered to herself. She was obviously crazy, so she was allowed to. "You made everything up, you stupid hopeless idiot."

That actually helped. And knowing nobody could hear her now helped even more.

After another few minutes she was done with answering, so she hit send on the message, turned the laptop off and finally forced herself to stand up and go to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and took the plate with her not-even-half-eaten turkey sandwich out, then placed it on the kitchen island. She turned around to reach into the cupboard where she put all the different teas she bought. Just as she picked out one that she wanted to try out, she heard a ding of her phone and groaned.

There was no way that woman wanted any more answers this quick.

Gritting her teeth, she eyed the box sadly before she put it down on the kitchen island next to the plate, then quickly made her way back to the living room. Her phone was lying right next to the laptop, its flashing green diode forcing her to hurry up. She picked it up fully prepared to be mildly pissed off, but the message she got wasn't from the same woman.

It was another girl–additional points at start–asking if the room was still vacant. Elsa shook her head in disbelief; the ad was only a few hours old, of course it was still vacant. She quickly typed a somewhat nicer response and put the phone back on the table before heading to the kitchen again, but a ding stopped her before she even reached the door. Turning around slowly, she held back a sigh. The hounds should be fucking proud of her for being so dutiful.

She made it to the phone in two strides. The girl was sorry for writing to her so late–hold the fuck up, it's already 11?–and asking if it would be okay for her to come by tomorrow to look at the flat. Elsa considered it. There was already a person scheduled at tomorrow in the morning, but it wasn't like she needed to be anywhere. Shopping could wait, and the sooner she was done with the flatmate hunt, the better.

Not even half a minute passed after she sent her message before she got a response. Would around 1 p.m. be fine?

That would give her some time between the guy in the morning and this girl to eat food, so she nodded. And then she slapped her forehead and wrote back, so that the girl would actually know her answer. She was too tired.

After two more e-mails and making sure the girl had the right address and knew how to get there, Elsa was finally free to go eat her damned sandwich.

At night she lied in her bed, too scared to close her eyes and see Anna's face again. As much as she tried controlling herself while she was awake, there was no way of telling what her mind will choose to show her once she fell asleep.

The nightmares would be there, that she was sure of. She just hoped it would be of the past, and not of today.