In the latest issue of Wine Spectator Magazine, Anthony Bourdain, known for spilling secrets about the culinary industry, leaks more sordid details about his questionable choices as a young chef. For example, when he was just starting out, Bourdain said, “All my decisions were based on who could give me access to girls and drugs.”

Yikes. But that’s not all. The lengthy feature by Harvey Steiman, aptly titled “The Cooked and the Raw,” profiles Bourdain’s successes and failures in more detail than even his bestselling book, Kitchen Confidential. One of the more amusing anecdotes from the piece explains how little he cared for Food Network executives: “I horribly insulted them at every possibility … I didn’t bother to shave or bathe for the meeting.” Despite this, Bourdain remains one of the most well-liked and respected food celebrities on TV.

But it seems that Bourdain has a bit of a soft side. When asked how he’d like to be remembered, he said “Maybe that I grew up a little. That I’m a dad, that I’m not a half-bad cook, that I can make a good coq au vin. That would be nice. And not such a bad b-stard after all.”