TWT #255 –

On September 12th, 1994, some drunk idiot stole a Cessna airplane and crashed it into the White House front lawn.

I mean, Frank Eugene Corder wasn’t exactly a happy guy. He had a pretty Terrible string of life events including: getting fired, getting involved in (and arrested for) drug dealing, being left by his third wife, etc, etc.

Plenty of guys go through tough times without stealing a plane and crashing it into the White House front lawn…but Frank wasn’t your average guy.

Apparently late on the night of Sept 11th, Frank was absolutely trashed when he somehow found a Cessna sitting around with the keys in the ignition, got it started, and actually took off!

This is a picture of the type of plane that Frank stole. This is not actually Frank, nor the actual plane he stole. This is just a stock image of the type of plane that Frank stole. Not the exact plane. And that’s not Frank. Okay? Okay.

That’s honestly pretty impressive! The most I can accomplish when I’m drunk is ordering pizza for delivery, crawling to my front door, and smashing that pizza into my face while crawling back to the couch to watch more TV. So that fact that Frank got that plane off the ground is very impressive in my mind.

Anyway, Frank flew around for a while before heading towards D.C and finding himself over a “restricted air zone.”

Even though he entered that “restricted airspace” above the White House, the Secret Service didn’t do shit. There’s a rumor that there are surface-to-air missiles surrounding the White House, but someone really messed up by not taking this opportunity to test those bad boys out.

Apparently, according to Franks family, he didn’t even have any bad feelings towards the then-Pres Bill Clinton, but this is still registered as an official “assassination attempt”.

My prevailing theory is that Frank just reeeeally wanted to bowl a few frames in that secret underground bowling alley.

Alas, instead of making it inside 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Frank crashed on the front lawn, dying instantly.

So it goes.

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