In my late teens, I spent a single harrowing night trying to talk a friend out of killing themselves. I spent hours talking to them before they eventually took their own life. I could not do a thing to stop them. I’ve had to live my life reassuring myself that there was nothing I could have done to change things, that no matter what I did they would have made the same decision and I was not responsible for the choice they made. I was not responsible for the family and friends who were hurt that day.

No matter how much I try to tell myself this, a part of me will always be convinced that if I could try things again, if I could go back and do things differently, if someone else were in that situation then maybe a life would not have been lost that day.

Life is Strange: Episode 2 follows the story of a girl in her late teens who has the power to go back in time and change things to her heart’s content. Episode 1 opens with the protagonist saving a life via the magic of time travel by using her knowledge of horrible events to go back and keep people safe; to find a way to undo what she had to go through. Episode 2 features a whole lot of frivolous time travel and shows you that you’re pushing yourself to the limits of your ability to use your powers.

It’s at this point that a close friend who has been struggling with her own emotional issues throughout the whole episode climbs onto a roof and prepares to commit suicide. You watch her jump and try to rewind. You don’t have enough power left to go back as far as you need to. You watch her jump again. You try and undo what she did once again. Once again you can’t quite stop her. You pause time just long enough to get up to the roof where she is, but you have no ability to rewind left if you mess up. You’re talking to a close teenage friend who wants to kill herself, and it’s clear there are no chances to take back any of your decisions here. After an episode that encouraged frivolous repeated use of my powers, in the one time I was second guessing every move I made, I no longer had a safety net.

To make a very long story short, I failed to save Kate’s life. I had to watch her throw herself from the roof one final time, knowing I could not do anything about it.

On a very personal note, I assumed at this point that her death was inevitable, a question of when rather than if. Surely a game all about being able to remake your choices wouldn’t make this the one choice you can’t get around. Either that, or most people would be in my shoes and would have missed whatever incredibly obscure clue could have lead to a way through this.

Well as it turned out, around five minutes later when I finished the episode, over two thirds of players managed to save Kate’s life.

The vast majority of people in my shoes could have saved her.

The vast majority of people in my shoes paid enough attention not to fuck things up and see her take her life.

I let Kate die and then had to face the fact that the vast majority of people could have saved her. If I had paid more attention, I could have saved her. She chose to commit suicide, but the fact she did so is something I could have prevented.

As someone who has in the past had to try and talk someone out of suicide and failed, Life is Strange: Episode 2 came across as well written, accurate and powerful. It was also an experience that made me relive one of the worst days of my life, and then rubbed my nose in the fact that most people in my shoes could have done better. Most people could have saved her. I was the one who fucked up and cost a family their child.

That’s pretty heavy subject material to have in a narrative that is shaped by the consumer and ranks you against other players and their performance. I understand putting this kind of situation into a passive medium where the consumer cannot blame themselves for the outcome of a situation, but this one just cut a little too close to home for me.

(Oh, the episode as a whole? Major pacing issues in the middle, much more consistently well written than other episodes, choices started having payoffs and new choices felt impactful. Avoided too much mystical rubbish, remained pretty grounded in reality).