You wouldn’t, perhaps, go so far as to say it was referendum fatigue. After all, by the time 23 June has come and gone, I will have participated in a mere four, while only six will have occurred during my lifetime. And, whatever your views on the UK’s membership of the European Union, you won’t really be able to claim by the time it’s all over that the campaign went on for too long.

It’s just that the EU referendum will never come close to matching the vibrancy of the Scottish independence referendum; that deep sense of privilege many of us experienced that we were participating in something of which many previous generations had only dared to dream.

Set against that, the EU referendum is asking us essentially to choose between two sides of the Tory party: the barking, spotted dick and shooting animals wing that supports an exit and the almost-bearable-but-still-deeply-unpleasant wing that wants us to remain.

In the febrile imaginations of the barking wing, Britain will be overrun by the fuzzy-wuzzies and the various other shifty types who are only here for the benefits if it votes to stay in.

Moreover, this is their golden opportunity to decouple from a fell organisation that stops them paying the workers in digestive biscuits; making them work 18 hours a day and sleeping with their wives on the first night of their honeymoons.

To them, the country has gone to the dogs since Good King John recklessly signed away all their ancient rights in the Magna Carta.

The other lot are only slightly more appealing. They don’t much like the idea of a Mediterranean invasion either, even though we expect the good people from these fine countries to welcome each year semi-literate, bare-chested, skinhead, knuckle-draggers fertilising their gardens and town squares.

They also want to protect the bonus packages of millionaire city types while giving them lifetime indemnities from jail if they ever, you know, move the goalposts in the service of keeping Britain competitive.

But, being modern corporate types who own businesses that avoid tax in more than one country, they know, reluctantly, that their financial interests are best served staying in the EU.

Forgive me if I don’t exactly allow my enthusiasm for the EU referendum to catch fire

It’s like watching one of those clips that crop up sporadically on YouTube, where a big crocodile tries to jump a lion standing on the riverbank and the two of them then proceed to go at it hammer and tongs: for a few minutes you’re mildly fascinated and then you remember why you don’t do safaris.

So, forgive me if I don’t exactly allow my enthusiasm for the EU referendum to catch fire. OK, if you’re being honest, you are secretly hoping for an exit vote while loftily pretending to be pure rock’n’roll for Europe.

But this is only because you’re hoping that Brexit will lead to a second independence referendum if Scotland chooses to remain. That though, is about as interesting as it’s going to get. Don’t worry though, Nicola; your secret is safe with us.

The most entertainment to be had as the days tick down to 23 June will be observing the tables being turned on the barking wing as the pro-EU campaign’s own version of Project Fear begins to bite.

We’ve already witnessed Michael Gove turn all nationalist. If Andy Murray gets to another Wimbledon final, will wee Mick be sitting in the royal box with a union flag up his jook?

And now we all know who’ll be adorning the Yes campaign’s first poster when the second independence referendum gets under way.

Said Gove: “I believe that the decisions which govern all our lives, the laws we must all obey and the taxes we must all pay should be decided by people we choose and who we can throw out if we want change.

“If power is to be used wisely, if we are to avoid corruption and complacency in high office, then the public must have the right to change laws and governments at election time.

“But our membership of the European Union prevents us being able to change huge swaths of law and stops us being able to choose who makes critical decisions which affect all our lives. Laws which govern citizens in this country are decided by politicians from other nations who we never elected and can’t throw out.”

Those words will turn to ashes in his mouth when he campaigns against Scottish independence once more a few years from now.

At least he’ll know what to expect when the heat gets turned up in the last few days of the EU referendum, especially if it looks like a close-run thing.

On the guarantee of a few knighthoods and baronetcies, some of the usual suspects in British industry will threaten to move their head offices to France and President Obama will be handed a script by David Cameron and told to say: “Er, the US, will, er, be mighty upset if, er… you know, er, Scotland, I mean England, votes to leave Yoorp.”

Without the protection of Europe, it will be claimed that the British pound will fall through the floor and international investors will start to pull out. We will be making a Three Tenners pact with Greece and Spain to beg for more IMF loans. Michelle Mone will threaten to move to France also and claim harassment from packs of feral, separatist, on-line Chelsea Pensioners.

Colour writers from the London-based papers will be given satnavs and sent oop north to write stories of rampaging Brexit separatists throwing Yorkshire puddings at Jim Murphy who is attempting a political comeback on the back of the Britain in Europe campaign.

Le Figaro and Der Spiegel will each produce special English-language editions for free distribution in England a week before the vote with a medieval scroll and the words Le Vow and Der Vow clearly marked.

In them Angela Merkel and François Hollande will promise full fiscal autonomy in Europe and promise to share Britain’s quota of refugees for 10 years.

Der Schmidt Commission will be announced to discuss extra powers for the UK in Europe amid dark claims that the wily Merkel is planning EVEL (European Votes for European Laws).