The problem of beer That it is within a 'bottle', i.e. a boundaryless compact 2-manifold homeomorphic to the sphere. Since beer bottles are not (usually) pathological or "wild" spheres, but smooth manifolds, they separate 3-space into two non-communicating regions: inside, containing beer, and outside, containing you. This state must not remain.

A proposed solution Clearly the elegant course is to introduce a non-orientable manifold, which has one side and does not divide 3-space. When juxtaposed with the beer-bounding manifold described above, it acts to disrupt the continuity thereof, canceling the outdated paradigm of distinction between interior and exterior. This enables the desired interaction between beer and self.

ImplementationThe Klein Bottle Opener1 shown above is an example. It is palm-sized, durable, effective2, and blissfully ergonomic.

Q E D You need one.

[1] This 3D-printed steel sculpture is tumble finished, with a heat-treated patina that brings out a bronze tone in the metal.

[2] Yes, it really works!