In the classic Christmas movie "It's a Wonderful Life," the main character George Bailey learns a valuable lesson about the true meaning of life.

It only comes after George falls into a pit of despair that sees him screaming at his children, knocking over their toys, yelling at their teacher, then turning to drink at the local bar where he gets punched in the face.

That mushrooms into an almost manic episode that sees him flailing through the streets, then contemplating suicide. The miraculous moment comes when he is saved by a Christmas angel who shows him what the world would have been like if he'd never been born.

But the miracle isn't the angel who shows George the cruel, harsh world that might have been. Nor is it the friends and family who step forward and throw money into a basket to save George from bankruptcy.

No, the real Christmas miracle is Mary, the tireless little worker wife who does it all and with perfect grace and humility. Mary is not only an expert wallpaper hanger who transforms a decrepit house into a cosy family home, she also whips up Good Housekeeping meals, lovingly welcomes homeowners to their new abodes with fresh bread and convinces the entire town to donate money to prevent George from losing everything. She is the perfect picker up.

She keeps her cool throughout it all, when those around her are losing theirs. And she does it without a hair falling out of place or a wrinkle appearing in her pretty dress. She is, in short, the perfect wife.

Sadly, Mary is also the ultimate symbol of what too many women become at Christmas - multi-tasking miracles who shoulder the job of putting the magic into Christmas. In addition to women's already full schedules, which includes working full-time and taking care of the children and housework, at Christmas women add gift shopping, cookie baking and festive decorating to their to-do lists.

They bake cakes and pies for school and church sales, organize holiday get-togethers and buy and wrap all the gifts, not to mention sending out Christmas cards. All without a hair falling out of place. If you think men share the gift-buying load, go into any store or mall on Christmas Eve day and you'll see men lined up at the cash registers.

Christmas isn't just a time of year when everyone joins in the holiday spirit. It's also a time when the full realization of how little has changed between the sexes becomes as crystal clear as the sparkle of the first snowfall.

Yes, Christmas is a wonderful time of the year, but only because women go into overdrive and throw their energy into putting the "M" in magic. While the gender roles used to be cleanly divided, today, the majority of women have stepped into the workforce; but most are still coming home from work and doing the lion's share of the child care, cooking and housework.

At Christmas, women's already-exhausting workload is taken to a whole other level, giving rise to a massive frenzy of doing and giving. A poll by YouGov Omnibus, a UK-based global online community of about four million people, showed that 61 per cent of women buy Christmas presents compared to eight per cent of men; 54 per cent of women do the food shopping compared to 13 per cent of men; and 51 per cent of women cook Christmas dinner compared to 17 per cent of men.

So here's what I'm asking all of you women to do. Stop doing it all. Stop with the decorating and baking and buying and wrapping the perfect gift. Remind yourself that the true meaning of Christmas is in relaxing with friends and family and don't stress over whether you're serving homemade baked goods or whether your house is perfectly decorated.

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Tell your partner to plan everything and do the cooking then sit back and see how it feels to watch someone else do the work. Better yet, take a cue from the women of Ireland who, on Jan. 6, celebrate the Women's Christmas by going out and partying while the Irish men take on all the household duties.

Sounds like a plan to me. Now if we can just make that a year-round tradition.