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For the first time since he came up with “How Good’s Australia” after two-months of focus groups and consumer surveys, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today whipped out his favourite felt trilby.

Known for helping him come up with amazing campaigns like ‘Where The Bloody Hell Are Ya’ and ‘Target Suburban Voters With Pre-Existing Prejudices Towards Muslims’ – Morrison’s marketing hat has a CV that speaks for itself.

Which is why it’s at the centre of the first emergency Coalition party room meeting Morrison has called since he realised what franking credits were in the lead up to the 2019 Federal Election.

After learning that some media outlets were refering to the current catastrophic bushfires crippling rural New South Wales And Queensland as ‘The Climate Fires’ the Prime Minister has held an emergency coalition meeting to ensure their party and their propaganda arm at NewsLimited take control of the narrative.

“We might not be able to control the fires. But at least we can control how the media will remember them” he told his members.

“Rupert and Kerry are willing to go with ‘Black Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday Through Sunday’ – that has a nice ring to it”

“I’ve heard people referring to the 142 out-of-control inland bushfires as ‘The Climate Fires’… I won’t cop that”

“Mainly because I can’t cop that. Because I’ve spent my entire career spruiking how good coal is. Also, because I don’t want to cop that”

Morrison’s deputy Michael ‘Who’ McCormack has reiterated these comments and urged his Nationals Colleagues to stick to the script when it comes to ‘The Climate Fires’

“Now is not the time to link these catastrophic bushfires to the direct cause of them… I don’t know when that time is. But it’s certainly not now”

“Remember. These fires were caused by the alleged of thoughts of greenies and juvenile arsonists. That’s the narrative. Thats what we are going with”

“Also, I think it goes without saying that we keep our distance from Barnaby for the time being”