Emailed to humptrain@gmail.com

23-year-old male: I hate using condoms. I know that I should use them but they’re uncomfortable and sex is less enjoyable with them on. Is there a brand I can get or something I can do to make sex with condoms better?

Dear No Glove No Love,

It’s a common complaint among many of the men that I talk to that condoms can be restricting, desensitizing and make the overall sexual experience less pleasurable. I’m glad that you recognize the importance of using condoms; it is one of the only contraceptive methods that will protect a couple from sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancy. Using a condom is a sign of sexual responsibility and eliminates the fear and concern over infections and pregnancy and allows both individuals to be fully engaged and present in the experience. There are a few tricks and techniques that you can use to enhance pleasure for both partners while still using a condom.

The biggest tip, no pun intended, is the addition o f lubrication into your sexual forays. If you are in a heterosexual relationship, your female partner naturally secrets lubrication from her vagina when she becomes sexually excited, though in my opinion you can never have enough lube. If you are including anal sex in your routine, make sure to use a ton of lubrication, because our butts are not self-lubricating. Before putting on your condom, add a few drops of lube in the inside of the condom as well as on the outside. This will reduce friction during sex – which will help keep the condom from breaking – as well as add some additional sensation for you. There are wide variety of lubricants out there – although make sure to not use an oil-based lubricant with a latex condom. Warming lubricants – a lube that provides a warming sensation with increased amounts of sweat and/or friction – can be a great way to increase sensation for both partners. Although this can be a great thing, you have to be careful with the intensity of some of these warming lubes – there is no off button – and it could prove to be overwhelming.

Thankfully, condom manufacturers have heard the cries from their male clientele and have ardently strived to provide a vast array of condoms that are all geared toward enhancing pleasure for both partners without having to sacrifice security and protection. If you’re interested, you can peruse the proverbial shelves of a site like Condom Depot, which has wide a variety of condom selections. Kimono has an award-winning Micro-thin condom that is one of the sheerest and thinnest latex condoms out there. Lifestyles also has a ranged of aptly named condom products including THRYLL, THYN and X2 – a condom lubricated with Excite Enhancement Gel. It might take some trial and error to find the condom that works best for you and your partner(s) but it is certainly worth the time. Also, condoms have evolved dramatically over the years to accommodate the pleasure needs of their clientele. Condoms now have studs, ribbed studs, contour fits and more to provide that little je ne sais quoi to enhance any sexual experience.

I think that condoms should be used every time that you have sex. I have known couples that have been together for a while, who have decided to no longer use condoms. Usually, these couples are in a committed monogamous relationship and have gotten tested several times throughout their relationship and are confident that they do not have a STD. If a couple arrives at this decision together – and feel comfortable with that decision – then that is their choice to do so. Good luck with the search and let me know how it goes

Have a Happy and Wonderful Holiday Weekend

Chris