After booting a spectacular goal from the boundary line and wrapping up Goal Of The Year only 10 rounds into the AFL season, Eddie Betts has confessed to close friends he is quite distressed about the logistics and operational costs of owning yet another Toyota Camry.

“The last one was an absolute prick to sell on carsales.com.au,” said Betts. “I’ve got no more room in the carport plus our household carbon emissions are already through the roof, they could at least make it a Tesla or something more environmentally conscious.”

After a careful perusal of the Toyota catalogue, Betts confirmed that he wasn’t much impressed with this year’s offering and would be looking to trade in his prize as soon as possible.

“This year’s model doesn’t even have adaptive cruise control, I’ll pass thanks,” he said.

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