JREF Swift Blog

Princess Martha Louise: Necromancer

Princess Martha Louise, of Norway, has cheesed off most of European Christendom by announcing early this month that she is in regular contact with the dead, as well as with angels. Reception, alas, is poor: She intends to participate in a class to improve the fidelity of her trans-dimensional communications.

The announcement upset those inclined to be upset by such things. As reported at Digital Journal, the bishop of the diocese of Tunsberg in the Church of Norway, Laila Rikaasen Dahl, has said: "[...] the dead belong to God and must rest in peace, and try to alter that can unleash unknown hidden forces." (sic)

Well, bring them on. We at the JREF have long noticed a depressing paucity of "unknown, hidden forces," leashed or unleashed, in northern Europe and elsewhere, and we would be very pleased if Princess Martha Louise were able to produce them. We are also at least a little surprised that Laila Rikaasen Dahl doesn't feel likewise. If someone with Princess Martha Louise's high profile were to unleash an honest-to-goodness demonic scourge upon the good people of Norway, the "forces" in question wouldn't remain "unknown" or "hidden" for long. They would soon be quantified, labeled, and dissected by the finest minds in Nordic science. Princess Martha Louise would issue a heartfelt apology for her ill-advised necromancy, and the world would be a safer, smarter place.

In the minor press frenzy instigated by Princess Martha Louise's statement, no news outlet has yet delineated that other, perhaps cooler-headed objection to the Princesses' announcement: That it is boneheaded, backwards, frightfully ill-informed, and yet further evidence that even wealthy blond people should think twice before marrying their cousins. That objection is dull, and not at all the kind of thing trafficked in by news outlets inclined to report upon the comings and goings of royalty. The Princess, for her part, has remained mum about the clergy's objections, as well she might. Why shouldn't she enjoy the right to be as ridiculous as they?