I just watched "American Sniper. " I learned so much about manliness, honor, and love…

[And no, I didn't pay to see it. They were showing it free at McDonald's so it wasn't a torrent download.]

1. The war in Iraq was about fighting evil.

2. All the people killed by U.S. troops were America-hating bad guys (and women and children).

3. If you question the war, or war in general, you open the door to defeat. (The one soldier who questions the war, very briefly, dies, and Kyle explains his lack of faith in the mission killed him.)

4. No history or context for a war is necessary. What's important is that you are not a pussy and that you protect and get "revenge" for your buddies. (Revenge for being killed after invading a country and carrying out a war that killed roughly 2 million people, if you count the sanctions leading up to it, most of whom were civilians--albeit evil America-hating ones.)

5. Women, and people at home don't get it, so shut up and just worship the heroes that our soldiers are.

6. Chris Kyle was a kind, sensitive man who loved humanity and America and who only fought to protect the innocent from evil (like sheepdogs do). If he didn't do it, pussies and surrender monkeys would allow for terrorists to invade "San Diego and New York."

7. Terrorism stems from the inherent evil of Muslims and other weird brown peoples of the Middle East, not from the legacy of colonialism and Imperialism in the Middle East over the last century and beyond.

8. In the Iraq War, "they started it" by bombing embassies and carrying out the 9/11 attacks, which were totally unprovoked, cuz evil.

9. Falluja was totally evacuated, and anyone who was still there was an evil America-hating terrorist. (Never mind the U.S. use of banned phosphorus and cluster munitions, or that Falluja was a case of mass civilian slaughter that outraged the civilized world. See Dahr Jamail's reporting from Falluja as it happened.)

10. War is always about emotion, heroism, doing the right thing, and courage, and has nothing to do with stupid boring history, politics, or the global economic system that necessitates wars.

11. Iraqis tend to be sadistic, and they tortured people. We're shown this in the movie. They deserved to be killed. Someone had to stop them to protect the few good Iraqis, whom we don't see in the film. (You can tell they're evil by the way they keep trying to kill people invading their country.)

12. Iraqi snipers are evil and smile when they kill. American snipers kill to protect buddies and destroy evil, but feel conflicted about it, being so much more human.

13. PTSD is caused by the brutality of evil Iraqis and the way people at home, pussies, women, especially well-meaning but stupid and selfish wives, and others, don't get how all soldiers are heroes. It has nothing to do with being sent to murder millions of people for capitalism.

14. War is fought not to take land, resources, or control labor, but to protect American buddies, even when you are the invader and aggressor.

15. War is good and the American people need to keep fighting good wars and doing the right thing. If you don't get it you're not one of us.

Thank you Chris Kyle for each and every one of your 161 kills, and the black people, I mean looters, you said you killed in New Orleans.