What is a Bazoon?

You may have heard the term “bazoon” being used in online conversation lately. The topic is coming up more and more frequently as the CIA’s original abuses come to light and more FOIA releases are revealed to the public. Although overlooked by original researchers looking at MK ULTRA and COINTELPRO in the 1970s and 1980s, this threat is finally being taken seriously and not a moment too soon!

“I really think, of the three things most threatening to family values today, bazoons easily top the list. I cannot believe this blatant breach of liberty has been kept secret for so long. America, stand up, stop this menace before it is too late.” Dr Robert Fischer, Institute of Protectionary Research

Bazoons are one of the CIA’s forgotten weapons spawned during the original COINTELPRO propaganda program. But what is a Bazoon, exactly? Although no one knows exactly how it got its funny sounding name, it’s certainly no laughing matter! The device was originally intended to be used in extreme stealth infiltration and spying programs (ESISP) and its design shows this clearly.

Appearing as a simple latex balloon prior to activation, upon application of the proper wavelength of electromagnetic force the device changes shape very significantly. The bazoon rapidly expands to approximately the size of a human adult male, with similar shape and odor. Although still primarily latex at this point, the internal cavities of the bazoon immediately start filling with a mixture of hydroelectric acids and various salt compounds, providing it with both energy (fuel) and its primary attack vector.

Perhaps more interestingly, the color of the bazoon actually becomes compressed during the expansion, as a result of the rapid change in energy potential and rapid absorption of the electromagnetic “trigger” waves. This, in most cases, results in the bazoon becoming a primary emitter of ultraviolet spectrum energy – effectively rendering it invisible to the naked eye!

As a note, bazoons can also disguise themselves as inanimate objects, commonly choosing forms like vehicle tires, lamp globes, house plants, or everyday fluids such as drain cleaner. This is due to the flexible properties of the latex base material.



How is the US Military using Bazoons in Combat?

Bazoons are commonly used in reconnaissance missions in which internal information acquisition is required in addition to suppression of enemy forces. The bazoon can attach itself to human bodily orifices, injecting a serum of a chemical desiccant and psychological suppression agent which slowly dissolves the human host’s brain material. As a result, the host becomes gradually more malleable to remotely injected suggestions, such as those commonly projected from magnetic “whisper” projection cannons.

If the bazoon is left attached to the body for an extended period of time, the entire body will start to decay, melting into a malleable paste known as Human Residual Paste (HRP) within the agency. Coupled with the emission of chlorine gas once the bazoon is done feeding, bazoons should be managed with extreme caution and not approached on the highway.

How to Protect Yourself

Polarizing lenses can be used in specialized glasses to reveal the outline of the bazoon form if one suspects an infestation. Any form of gravitational lensing or color diffraction gratings visible when wearing the UV sensitive lenses indicates a possible bazoon.

Checking for confirmation commonly involves the use of a hypodermic needle or small kitchen implement such as a paring knife. If the object in question behaves suspiciously upon puncture, you’ve found one. Be extremely careful, as the gas filling the bazoon is corrosive and extremely toxic to most animals.