A British teenager who fled the country to fight for ISIS has requested he be allowed to return home. The young man, whose identity cannot be revealed, has said that he never intended to fight for ISIS and has had to go along with it to avoid detention as a hostage.

In a video made in a toilet cubicle, on his break from guard duty, he described his error. “I thought I was going to join the spy agency ISIS. I only travelled this far because I thought it was going to be full of jokes about tits and questioning people’s phrasing, I wasn’t prepared for this.” He went on to describe his ordeal. “I haven’t seen one cocky American secret agent. There’s no alcohol anywhere.”

The British government is currently debating what measures to take. Expert insiders have revealed they plan to make the teenager an actual spy – only with no training, no support network, and no objective – as part of David Cameron’s Big Society project.

Although he is anxious to return to the UK he says he has learnt a lot from his experience. “I now know that cartoons are not to be taken seriously.” He later added, “I also learnt how much logistics go into an international terrorist organisation.” Towards the end of the video he describes the badges he has earned with the group, including one for ‘Knowledge of American Weaponry’.

This isn’t the first cartoon related misunderstanding to hit the region. Earlier this year an East Hampshire teenager attempted to freeze himself in his family’s chest freezer because he was “tired of waiting for a robot best friend.” Police and concerned citizens are planning an awareness campaign to educate children on how to spot the early signs of animation.