Alrighty then.

Why is this a thing?

Ted Cruz promises military no 'gluten-free' MREs

Yeah! And screw you, diabetics, no insulin for you! Allergic to peanuts? Go to hell, soldier, you'll eat what I tell you to eat and like it! Wait, why does your face look like you just swallowed a weather balloon? Are you mocking your commander in chief, general?

This promise to stop the military from providing gluten-free meals is apparently part of Cruz's promise to get tough on "political correctness" in the military, which in this case means making damn sure people with celiac disease know their place as God intended. But a simple fact check reveals the military still bars those diagnosed with celiac disease from enlisting and doesn't offer "gluten-free" MREs for an outraged President Ted Cruz to ban. It appears Cruz is using "gluten-free" as the first stand-in for "political correctness" his brain could think of?

Hmm. Nope, still don't understand it. We may have to chalk this one up as a Palinesque bit of word salad, a simple case of trying to appeal to voters by throwing popular catch phrases at them in random order and hoping for the best. If you can't be presidential, just … shout a lot? The base does like its politicians red-faced and shouting—the actual topic isn't nearly as important.