The women in the lengthy dole queue at Krakow’s gloomy job centre seemed amused by the question: “Czy zna pani jakiegoś Brytyjczyka mieszkającego w Polsce, na zasiłku dla bezrobotnych?” (Do you know any Brits in Poland on unemployment benefits?) “It wouldn’t make much sense,” mused one, furrowing her brow as she reflected on the 823.60 złoty (£150) monthly jobseeker’s benefit on offer in her home country, barely half of its UK equivalent. “I do have a Polish friend who is claiming UK benefits here, though – he transferred them back when he moved home.”

Outside the soup kitchen at Bracia Albertyni monastery in Krakow’s old Jewish district, the query was greeted with incredulity. “I’ve been on the streets for months now and I’ve never seen a Brit out of work,” said one chap in near-perfect English, who had not long returned from several years in the UK. Malgorzata Kurdybacz, manager of Krakow’s municipal social centre, recalled the three British men who once turned up outside a homeless shelter asking to stay the night. She wrote them off as stags on a dare: “They were very, very drunk.”

At the British Polish Chamber of Commerce in Warsaw, chief adviser Michael Dembinski, an Anglo-Pole, clearly thought the idea absurd. “In all my 17 years of living in Poland, I can honestly say I’ve never heard of a UK citizen claiming any benefit from the Polish state,” he said.

Yet according to the Ministry of Labour and Social Policy in Warsaw, one of the 4,500 Britons currently registered as living in Poland is indeed claiming unemployment benefit (another Briton listed in Guardian research as claiming benefits may have since found a job or left the country). The claimant (the ministry confirmed the person is male) receives 823.60 złoty a month for the first three months and 646.70 złoty for the next three months. Then: nic (nothing) – unless he lives in an area with an unemployment rate of more than 150% of the national average of 11.5%, in which case he can receive the benefit for 12 months.

A labour office in Poland. Photograph: Michal Lichtanski

The ministry refused to reveal anything about this mysterious Brit, including where in this nation of 38.53 million he might be found. But in Krakow’s labour office in the suburb of Nowa Huta, the officer responsible for dealing with EU nationals trying to claim welfare in Poland’s second city said he had dealt with three Britons in the past three years: a man from Ealing and two other Londoners, one man aged 26 and a woman aged 46. “None of them got any money from us,” he said. “I don’t think any of them had worked in Poland, so they didn’t qualify.” It’s hardly worth it for the “crappy money” on offer, he said – but by registering they qualified for free healthcare.

One of those three was James Aykroyd, 54, who cycled to Poland from Buckinghamshire in 2007 to live in a “little ruin of a log cabin” he had bought for £16,000. He hoped to pick up work but without speaking Polish it was a no-go. “The only jobs in Poland for an Englishman are teaching jobs or managerial jobs and I wasn’t qualified,” he said. “There aren’t even jobs for Poles. In my village, at least half of the population was abroad, working in Germany or the UK.”

We had socialism for 50 years … a lot of people think if they have a problem, it’s not their problem but the state’s

Three and a half years ago Aykroyd went to the dole office in Nowa Huta to try to claim benefits. “I had to find some students who could speak a little bit of English to help me. There were 100 or so little rooms and I didn’t know where to go. Eventually someone with just enough English asked me a few questions about my employment history and immediately said I wasn’t going to get any money. I was disappointed. I thought, well, Polish people come to the UK and get some benefits, so why can’t I get help here?”

Every two months he had to sign on in Nowa Huta, making the journey from his cabin in the village of Wola Radziszowska, 18 miles from Krakow. “Each time I was told, no jobs for you, Englishman,” said Aykroyd.

Receiving unemployment benefit in Poland is not easy. To qualify, you have to have been employed in the country for at least 365 days over the 18 months prior to signing on. Under Polish rules, if you were working for less than five years beforehand, you only get 80% of the benefit. The measly amount is not topped up with housing benefit, because that does not exist. With a room in a shared flat costing at least 500 złoty (£100) a month in one of the big cities, it doesn’t leave much change.

Kazimierz Karasinski has been honorary consul of the UK in Krakow for 16 years, helping British citizens in sticky situations. In his time, he has visited chastened stags in police cells, taken a woman with very serious health problems to hospital and dealt with more lost passports than he cares to remember.

People waiting outside a labour office in Limanowa, near Krakow. Photograph: Michal Lichtanski

But he has never encountered a Brit so down on their luck that they have gone on the dole in Poland. It’s the famed stiff upper lip, he believes.

“If you look at your imperial history, the British were leaving their islands to be successful elsewhere. Largely they managed it – that’s why half of the world now speaks English. So the majority of them don’t accept it when they are in distress. They will do anything not to fail. They may change location, but that’s it. They don’t like to ask for help.

“There’s this pride which means an Englishman would rather kill himself than go to the Polish labour office and admit he needs help. You have had a market economy for so long. It’s not like in Poland where we had so-called socialism for almost 50 years and a lot of people think that if they have a problem, it’s not their problem but the state’s problem.”

Lindsay Davidson, originally from near Edinburgh, has worked in education in Krakow for almost 15 years. He has a different theory as to why so few Britons sign on in Poland. “So few of them bother to learn the language,” he said, “and Polish bureaucracy has a reputation for being really tricky to navigate.”

Dembinski believes the reputation is warranted. “Imagine a chap from Liverpool turning up in Radom with his family, trooping into the local Urząd Pracy [labour office] and saying: ‘If you can’t find me a job, mate, I demand my jobseeker’s allowance, housing benefit, family allowance, income support – ah, and because it’s cold in Poland, some winter fuel payment while you’re at it, Tomek. You see, I’m entitled because I’m an EU citizen!’,” he wrote on his blog recently.

“He’d be told he’s not got all the right papers, then be sent off to room 301, where, after sitting in a queue for an hour, he’d be told that this paper’s OK but this one’s wrong, he’d then be sent down to room 128, where, after sitting in an even longer queue, he’d be referred back up to room 301 again, and so on, until he ceases to want anything from the Polish state ever again.”

Recently, Aykroyd’s money ran out and he moved back to England. The day after arriving in Twickenham, west London, he went to a job centre to sign on. Though initially told he would be entitled to £72 a week in jobseeker’s allowance, the offer was withdrawn when officials decided he failed the habitual residence test. He won’t be able to claim any money for at least three months, but has managed to pick up 16 hours a week of cleaning work. He’s looking for a full-time job but competition is tough. “The other day I went for an interview for a cleaning job with a local authority. There were five of us there and I was the only Englishman – one was a Polish man. I didn’t get the job, so a foreigner obviously did. It doesn’t seem fair. English people don’t get the jobs whereas the foreigners do. It’s the other way around in the rest of Europe.”

Additional reporting by Michał Czarniecki