I wish I’d known that I didn’t have to follow imaginary guidelines set forth by the gatekeepers of female queerness, that I was no more or less queer if I had a lot of sex with other women or zero sex with women, ever.



Queer women are queer because we are. Not because people who take the role of gatekeeper say we’re queer. Not because of our romantic or sexual history. Not because we’re dating or sleeping with or married to someone. Our queerness is a part of us.

We all deserve someone like Poussey — someone who gets it, someone who validates and never questions our identities, to help us enter into the world of queer dating, queer sex, and queer love.