So I was sitting around obsessing about race as always, and I decided to look up some statistics about interracial marriage and divorce in typical white-boy math-geek fashion.

Although we’re told that race is a “social construct” and doesn’t really exist, somebody needs to tell the nimrods who came up with these numbers, because somehow they pretended they were able to tell who was white, black, and Asian merely by looking at them and probably asking a bunch of rude questions. And they left Mexicans and the mighty Chippewa shivering out in the cold.

Wikipedia’s entry on “Interracial marriage in the United States” cites stats on both interracial marriage and divorce.

The interracial-marriage statistics are derived from the 2010 US Census:

The divorce stats come from a 2008 study that used numbers from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth. Apparently being products and beneficiaries of institutional racism, whoever wrote the section on “Marital instability among interracial and same-race couples” just went ahead and assumed white divorce rates after 10 years of marriage were “normal,” because they only showed percentages for how other racial groups deviated from the white stats, as if to say that everyone except white couples were a bunch of perverts. They also did not cite divorce stats between blacks and Asians, probably for reasons that are too horrible to even consider.

Using the percentages they cited, I came up with this adorable little chart:

So whereas black dudes are far more likely to marry white chicks than the inverse, they are also far more likely to divorce their fair-skinned partners. Surprisingly, white dudes married to black chicks show a much lower divorce rate than even those implicitly racist all-white connubial tag teams.

Stats are stats, and therefore can be bent, twisted, folded, spindled, and mutilated according to whomever is using them for their nefarious means. None of these numbers take into account the fact that whites significantly still outnumber other groups.

What seemed especially noteworthy was the surprisingly low number of black guys married to Asian chicks, since common stereotypes would dictate that black guys represent the pinnacle of masculinity, while Asian chicks are reppin’ the ultimate in femininity. Maybe the act of sexual congress with a black buck is physically far too painful for your average tiny Asian lotus flower. Maybe there are insurmountable cultural differences. Maybe the Asian girls are far too busy stocking the shelves of their fathers’ grocery stores in dangerous black neighborhoods to afford the time to engage in consortium with black men. I don’t know and I can’t say for sure, because to do so would be racist, and that word frightens the bejeezus out of me.