Understandably, calls like these from Governor Perry’s office would come as something of a shock to jailhouse staff. Proud Republican Perry was not only a staunch advocate of the death penalty, he was known to actively ignore pleas from the Board of Pardons and had even vetoed a ban on the execution of inmates with severe learning disabilities. So why did convicted murderer Kenneth Foster have his life spared?

The answer is simple, yet complex...He didn’t actually murder anyone.

French M. Robertson Unit is a maximum-security state prison in the West Texas city of Abilene. It’s where 42-year-old Kenneth Foster calls home and probably will do for another thirty years or so. He’ll be eligible for parole in 2037, but that’s a long way away. Right now, he’s still thankful to be breathing.

“I got the strap, y'all wanna jack?”