In a statement released on Monday morning, the White House announced it had successfully relocated the U.S. Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. “We are happy to announce that we have had an extremely straightforward and painless relocation of our Embassy.” Said Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders. “And shockingly, only around 50 Palestinians were killed on the actual day of. Which in today’s climate is a pretty great number.”

Ms. Sanders noted during her statement, that recent events had caused the White House to give an estimation of about 3,000 dead Palestinians on the opening day of the Embassy, “Obviously 3,000 was way too high, but give it a couple days and I’m sure we’ll make it into the 2,000’s with all these injured folks.”

Sarah Huckabee Sanders concluded her statement by acknowledging the endless protests on the Gaza Strip and the destruction and harm they cause, “But, if I’m being candid, really did seem a little rude for those guys not to put their fight off for one day while we open up this nice new embassy.”