“

I’m driving down the FDR, and I’m in this thing, not my old Honda, which I couldn’t kill if I tried, and I’m driving behind this nice old man, and he’s driving slow and I’m driving behind him and then I’ve had enough of the slow lane, so I gently get ahead of him, and the next thing I know he’s pushing down the pedal and racing past me, cutting me off as he gets back into the lane. I’ve got these two avocados in the front seat with me, and I pick one up like a grenade and I’m going to throw it at the guy. And then I see myself in this ridiculous position, with this avocado in my hand, and my veins sticking out of my neck, my face all red, and I say to myself, ‘Mike, you’ve finally done it. You’ve become a New Yorker. Now put down the avocado. Put it down gently.’

Rangers goalie Mike Richter