President Donald Trump has awarded himself the prestigious Medal of Honor for ‘probably running into mass shooting unarmed’.

The ceremony will take place later today and will be only the third such medal Trump has handed out during his stint as president.

While presidents don’t typically award themselves medals, President Trump decided to make an exception for himself for ‘extreme bravery in a theoretical situation’.

‘I would have run straight into that school and tackled the shooter, even if I didn’t have a gun. Believe me, he wouldn’t have known what hit him,’ said the former theoretical NFL linebacker.

The ceremony will begin with Trump placing the medal around his neck before regaling the media with other brave things he might do if the situation was purely theoretical.

‘If North Korea was ever stupid enough to send a nuke our way, I’d probably just fly into the sky and block it before throwing it right back at them,’ said the proud president.