Hagra Biscuits Recipe

from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy BBC Series

Preparing Your Hagra Biscuit

Has your planet been destroyed today? Has your best friend just revealed to you that they’re actually from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse. Have you done six impossible things this morning? If so, this recipe is for you.

Smuggled from the Dentrassi kitchen on a Vogon destructor fleet ship, we have an intergalactic recipe for the hoopiest frood food in the galaxy. This colorful dish sports a wild look, yet the taste is familiar enough to satisfy our mostly harmless culinary cravings. Unlike the Hagra Biscuits that Ford and Arthur tasted on the Vogon ship in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, these ones actually taste amazing!

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Ingredients:

Biscuit Ingredients:

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

5 tablespoons butter

1 cup milk

1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

1/4 cup butter, melted

1 clove garlic, minced

Blue food coloring

Topping Ingredients:

3 avocados, very ripe but not bruised

juice of 1 large lime

handful coriander, leaves and stalks chopped, plus a few leaves, roughly chopped, to serve

1 small red onion, finely chopped

1 green chili, green, deseeded and finely chopped

paprika

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C). In a large bowl, sift together flour, salt and baking powder. Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Make a well in the center of flour mixture. Add the milk, blue food coloring, and cheddar cheese; stir to combine. Add coloring until the mixture is dark blue because it will get lighter when you bake them. Drop batter by spoonfuls into logs on an ungreased baking sheet. Bake in preheated oven for 12 to 15 minutes, until lightly browned. While biscuits are baking mix melted butter and minced garlic. Brush garlic butter over hot baked biscuits.

While the biscuits are cooling, you can make your topping!

Halve and stone the avocados and use a spoon to scoop out the flesh into the bowl. Tip all the other ingredients into the bowl, then season with salt and pepper. Use a whisk to roughly mash everything together. Scatter with the coriander. Apply the topping in heaping portions to the top of the Hagra Biscuit and then sprinkle liberally with paprika.

Now, go on, have a bite. Your mouth will love you for the rest of your life.