Applewhite Aug 16, 2014

IN THE GRIM BARKNESS

OF THE FUTURE

THERE ARE ONLY DOGS



Nap Ghost





Opening Cinematic



Player 1





Your space ship drops out of hyperspace into orbit over your home planet.





You are Space Tits, the greatest bounty huntress in the galaxy, and you've just returned from an eight month bounty hunting expedition. You are exhausted, but triumphant. In your cargo hold are a dozen stasis pods containing the worst gem poachers known to your people. You had to travel far and wide to capture them, nearly exhausting your food stores as you did so, but it was worth it if it means finally putting that upstart Space rear end in her place.

But after so many months away from home, the thing you look forward to the most is feeling the warm sun of your home star on your face and feel the cool grass of your home planet beneath your feet.





Oh... poo poo.

Your planet seems to have exploded while you were away.



Player 2



Your space ship drops out of hyperspace into orbit over your home planet.





You are Space rear end, the second greatest bounty huntress in the galaxy



Err, uhh... That is to say you were considered to be the second greatest bounty huntress in the galaxy by some accredited organizations... but even your harshest critics will have to admit your ultimate superiority when you turn in this haul:



Sixteen of the most wanted gem poachers in the galaxy. You know for a fact that your rival, Space Tits's puny starship is only rigged to carry twelve pods, maximum, so even if she's carrying a full load it won't be enough to beat you. Even though carrying so much extra weight has nearly depleted your ship's JO Crystal, it will have been worth it if you can finally show up that smug bitch.

You can't wait to turn in your bounties and then spend your reward money pigging out on your planet's fine cuisine.





Aw poo poo. Looks like all the restaurants have been atomized along with the rest of your planet.