According to Tom Sizemore, Elizabeth Hurley and Bill Clinton had an affair. TOM SIZEMORE. Go and Google Tom Sizemore and you’ll know what I mean when I say TOM SIZEMORE. It’s from an audio recording. Sizemore recounting the story of how he went to the White House during Clinton’s presidency and while they were in the Lincoln bedroom, Clinton asked him to be his wingman with Hurley. According to TOM SIZEMORE, these were Clinton’s words:

“Give it to me. You dumb motherfcker, I’m the Commander-in-Chief of the United States of America. The buck stops here. Give me the damn number.”

Again, it’s an audio recording. It’s Tom Sizemore talking sh-t somewhere, telling tales to two friends. Is he even sober? Is that reliable?

It’s TOM SIZEMORE!

OK, but Clinton did his thing with Monica Lewinsky. And Liz, well, Liz doesn’t always make smart romantic decisions. For starters, she dated TOM SIZEMORE. Also Hugh Grant, Steve Bing, and that gross Shane Warne, to whom she’s currently engaged. Could I believe that Elizabeth Hurley slept with Bill Clinton? OF COURSE. Do I wish we could be hearing it from someone who isn’t TOM SIZEMORE? God, yes, please. So. Weigh the Clinton/Hurley histories against the reliability of TOM SIZEMORE and there’s your buffet. What entrée are you choosing?