Jon Stewart may be retired from television, but that doesn’t mean that he’s resigned from comedy. When the former Daily Show host spoke to press after collecting two Emmys on Sunday night for his Comedy Central series, he came out firing the funny on all cylinders.

“Hi, Jon, I’m from Time Warner Cable,” one reporter began, by means of introduction.

“Time Warner Cable, you motherfuckers!” Stewart replied, two Emmys in hand. “I’m still waiting for service.”

“What was the atmosphere during the last month of the show like?” the reporter pressed on.

“A lot of ultimate frisbee,” Stewart deadpanned.

Another reporter seemed so upset about Stewart’s retirement that he couldn’t even form a proper question: “You were mentioning onstage that it’s only been six weeks and you miss the applause. Come on, you gotta miss it. Donald Trump and everything.”

“That isn’t a question,” Stewart replied. “It’s a punishment. Is this an intervention? If I had known what retirement was like, I would probably have done it earlier. You can do anything during the day [when you’re retired] . . . you can get a smoothie.”

Another member of the press tried to get a straight answer from Stewart, wondering, “If and only if Donald Trump were to be elected president, would you consider coming back?”

“No,” Stewart said without any hesitation. “I would consider getting in a rocket and going to another planet because clearly this planet has gone bonkers.”

Another reporter, another question lobbed in vain: “What do people say to you that means something to you on the street?”

“‘Wow, you are a lot shorter and older in person than I would have thought.’ ‘Without makeup you look sick,’’ Stewart jested. “I get that a lot. It’s hard to say. Most people are generally very nice. It is New York though so some people might yell things from cars that they might not yell somewhere else.”

The host only turned serious when he was asked about his Daily Show successor Trevor Noah, specifically about what kind of advice he gave the comedian.

“He is such a talented guy and has such a great foundation for this, it’s not a question about giving him advice,” Stewart revealed. “It’s just about being there to support him . . . But he has the best team in the business behind him so he is going to be great. The last thing he needs is the old Pope peering around the corner going, to the new Pope, ‘Isn't this when you bless the wafers?’ I think they’re going to very quickly develop their own style and grace.”

A female journalist tried once more to barrel past Stewart’s razor-quick wit, but to no avail.

“In a generation dealing with religious, political issues, etc., how important is tolerance?,” the reporter asked.

“I was under the impression that we had fixed all that with the show!” Stewart said, mock confused. “But you’re saying we didn’t? Son of a bitch. That’s so much a part of a larger question that I don’t think a comedy show could ever answer . . . maybe one day a comedy show will. But until then, I think Adult Swim comes closest.”