News, views and top stories in your inbox. Don't miss our must-read newsletter Sign up Thank you for subscribing We have more newsletters Show me See our privacy notice Invalid Email

A distraught wife has described the pain at discovering her husband had secretly castrated himself because it was 'the only way to stop his porn addiction.'

The woman was oblivious to her partner's fixation until he came clean two years ago and confessed at having taken the "drastic step" - with "horrible results".

She had become suspicious something was going on and feared her husband of 38 years and father of her children was having an affair.

But when he confronted her and said they "needed to talk" - two months after they had moved house - she never expected him to reveal he had removed his own testicles using a scalpel.

"That's when he told me everything," she said.

(Image: Juice Images RF)

"He was so ashamed and I guess he felt he would never overcome this 'addiction' unless he did something drastic and took away the desire completely. The results were horrible."

Instead of working late, she said he admitted he had been looking at porn in his office and visiting strip clubs for the past couple of years.

He had made various attempts to stop but kept going back, so felt castration was his "last option".

Recalling the horror, the woman continued: "He’s a veterinarian and he’s done a lot of spay/neuter on animals. It was still very risky to do that to himself.

"He brought a spay/neuter kit home from the clinic, numbed himself with lidocaine, castrated himself and stitched himself up. He didn’t go to the hospital."

She continued: "I think it was just a week later that he came back to South Carolina to help with our move to New York and he told me later that he was in a lot of pain.

"I thought at the time he was getting sick because he kept laying down a lot while I was finishing packing. Whenever I would try to be affectionate he always had an excuse for why he didn’t want to be.

"This wasn’t normal for him and I started wondering if he was having an affair."

It was then that the man divulged what he had done.

The radical procedure did take away his desire and interest for porn, the wife said, but the couple's sex life was left in tatters.

The man's sex drive plummeted and the woman, who was 45 at the time, also found intimacy difficult as she was so horrified at what he had done to himself.

She added: "He suddenly had no testosterone. I think it’s similar to a woman having a complete hysterectomy and having no more estrogen.

"He was very emotional, cried all the time and had very erratic mood swings. He finally went to our family doctor and was put on testosterone supplements but that brought back the desire to look at porn again so he stopped.

"Our kids kept asking me what’s wrong with dad? For years I kept making excuses for him."

But the woman grew fed-up of concealing the truth from her children about their father's behaviour and eventually revealed what had happened.

(Image: REX/Shutterstock)

"I got them all together a few years ago, they were all adults by that time," she said.

"I told them that I had something to tell them and it would be hard for them to hear but I felt they needed to know.

"It was hard but once they knew my two oldest sons told me they always felt like there was something wrong with their dad that I wasn’t telling them and they said it all made sense as to why he acted the way he did.

"My husband had wanted to tell them soon after he told me but I wouldn’t let him. Back then I thought I never wanted them to know.

"I wondered for a long time if I had done the right thing by telling them but their dad’s behavior had become so difficult to explain away."

The couple have since divorced and the man, who was diagnosed with bipolar depression and ADD, is due to marry again.

The woman doesn't know "what or how much" his new partner knows.

She said: "I don’t know if he’s told her the truth or not. A few months ago he was considering plastic surgery but I don’t know if he went through with it."

(Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

She also believes the Mormon religion played a big part in her husband's actions.

Under what is called the law of chastity, all members are taught to be "morally clean in their thoughts, words, and actions" and to abstain from pornography.

Church leaders have been known to teach members they should not masturbate as part of obedience to the law of chastity

The woman, who has since left the Church with her youngest son, said: "He denies that church teachings had anything to do with him castrating himself but I know the church heavily influenced him to take that drastic step.

"The guilt he felt was because of the church. His reaction was extreme and I think had a lot to do with his mental health.

"He told me once that when he was a teenager and would have wet dreams he would pray for God to take away the memories of those dreams.

"The first time we kissed he felt guilty the next day because we had only gone out on a couple of dates.

"I tried holding his hand during sacrament meeting after we had started dating and he didn’t think it was appropriate."

(Image: Getty Images)

The woman, who posted her story on Reddit, has been praised for her courage in sharing her story, including by one person who said they had also considered castration.

They wrote: "I was considering seeking out some kind of doctor prescribed chemical castration, because I couldn't stop masturbating once every 2-6 months.

"Crazy what indoctrination from birth can get you to do, and how much it warps your sense of reality and normalcy."

Another added: "I felt the same way. After 'confessing' to my bishop and wife at the time, I remember telling him that I didn't feel like anything short of chemical castration would alleviate my carnal desires.

"Looking back it's just so messed up. Nobody should be made to feel this way."

A third said: "This post has really put a pit in my stomach. My husband is still a believer (inactive but still believes).

"He has mentioned castration because of an issue he has with masturbation. When he brought it up, I was absolutely horrified.

"Now seeing that it has crossed other minds as well has made me physically sick. Nobody should ever ever have to think about that."