Gaming is rife with mysteries. Why is Mario so intent on eating mushrooms and killing turtles? How come the Helghast created helmets with orange eyes that give them away in the dark? Why does Dr. Wily continuously create robots that are weak to each other's attacks? Did Activision forget to put a story into Destiny?

Wherever you are, you can't escape your name.

“ But one of the most basic functions of Xbox Live -- the ability for a user to change their name -- is still missing years after PSN launched.

The People have spoken.

“ See, the thing about not being able to change your PSN name is that it strikes hardest at Sony's most loyal customers, those who are deeply embedded in the PlayStation ecosystem.

“ But here's the real back-breaker: changing your user ID is the second most requested feature for PSN according to Sony's own "Share" website. And frankly, it's been on the list for a long time.

But there's a question greater than all of these that I've been asking for years, now: Why can't we change our PlayStation Network usernames?PlayStation Network launched alongside PlayStation 3 in November of 2006, and ever since then, it seems to have been a step or two behind its major competitor. Microsoft's Xbox Live, with the benefit of having launched several years earlier, had worked out many of its kinks by the time Xbox 360 came to market in 2005, and it has set a high standard of quality and usability when it comes to Internet services on a console.Now, I'm not one of those people that hates the PSN, because that would be silly, nor am I one of those mysterious people that find it unusable, because it isn't. Sure, the PSN got hacked to death in 2011, it experiences an inordinate number of "maintenance periods" , you have to update your PS3, PS4, and Vita too often in order to connect to it, and the PlayStation Store regularly misses its weekly update time . But in reality, PlayStation Network has gotten stronger and more usable as time has gone on. Indeed, now that many of us have moved over to PlayStation 4, it's better than ever. PS4 works with PSN seamlessly, and Sony should be applauded for improving the service as the years have gone on, especially now that so many of its users pay a subscription fee Now, I'm positive Sony knows this is an issue. People have been yelling at them about it for years. I also have no doubt that there's an engineering hurdle to overcome -- a significant one, probably -- that precludes the company from offering this service. But I simply refuse to believe that it's a hurdle that can't be overcome, that it couldn't be vanquished as the years have gone on if resources were dedicated to it. Indeed, Sony can actually change your name in their backend, and they do it from time to time if a name is deemed inappropriate or whatever, but it can't be done at-will. And if they do change your name? You keep your games and you lose your Trophies.Microsoft's solution to changing your name on Xbox 360 and Xbox One is simple: pay them, and do it as much as you want. In fact, you can change your name completely for free the first time you decide to do so (within certain parameters). Otherwise, it costs a nominal fee, and you never have to fear being tethered to a single name for what seems like an eternity. They don't lose their Achievements when it happens, either! Flexibility is king in the online world, and it's essential if you want to make your customers happy.But then there's PlayStation Network. A young, bong-hungry 20 year old came home in late 2006 with his PS3, and wanted to proclaim his love of marijuana to the world. And so he named himself WeedSmoker420. Today, our hypothetical subject WeedSmoker420 is 28. He has a wife, and a kid, a college degree and a great job. And he's still WeedSmoker420. He has no realistic recourse. He can abandon his account -- along with his games and Trophies -- and make a new account. Or he can get on the horn with Sony, see if they'll change it for him in their backend, and lose his Trophies anyway.This, of course, has become a running joke on Podcast Beyond , the world's most-popular PlayStation podcast. We now actually have a new segment talking about terrible PSN names each week, names submitted by our listeners who are eager for a change. I also get Tweeted quite often with terrible names people encounter in the wild. And yes, some of them are truly horrific.But here's the real back-breaker: changing your user ID is the second most requested feature for PSN according to Sony's own "Share" website. And frankly, it's been on the list for a long time, for as long as I remember that Share website even existing. Sony recently acknowledged that they know it's important , but no new information has been forthcoming. Radio silence doesn't help anyone, especially if the problem is actually on the verge of being solved, or if Sony is actively looking into it with the intent of bringing a solution to their customers. Moriarty-IGN -- is a name I'll be fine with long after I one day leave IGN. I love this website, the people here, and the opportunities it afforded me, and I'll always be glad to rep it in the digital space. But not being able to change your PSN ID is a big deal to a lot of people, and mind-bogglingly, it doesn't seem Sony realizes that it could literally make millions of dollars a year by asking people pay to change things up. $5, $10, $20, whatever the price, people will pay it. Hell, I'm sure there are people out there who would drop hundreds of dollars for one chance to change their name. I may be honored by my association to IGN to be willing to keep it in my PSN name forevermore; I have no doubt that there are people that feel differently about their names. They e-mail us at Podcast Beyond every day. They've changed over the last four, five, six, seven, or eight years. Their user name should be able to reflect that. They shouldn't be handcuffed to a name they made in 2006 or 2007 for as long as they want to play a PlayStation device.So Sony, please. Please! Let us change our PSN names, already. Not only can you make a lot of money offering this service; it also makes a ton of sense to give your customers this option. Help PlayStation gamers out, and give them functionality your competitor has had for literally nine years.

Colin Moriarty is IGN’s Senior Editor. You can follow him on Twitter.