This weekend, we all eradicated child abuse by changing our Facebook profile pictures to cartoon characters. Or did we? According to the stupidest rumor I have ever heard, pedophiles are behind the useless campaign, for some idiotic made-up reason.

Did you change your Facebook profile picture to Strawberry Shortcake or Optimus Prime or whatever, to show the whole world your bold, courageous stance against beating up kids? Good for you! Too bad that, according to stupid people on the internet, as cited in The Daily Mail, the whole campaign was begun by pedophiles:

What's more, rumours are now sweeping the net claiming the campaign is actually a smokescreen for paedophiles hoping to identify young children. One Facebooker asked: ‘How is this gonna help stop child abuse? Sounds like something a paedophile would do!' Another user posted the following warning: ‘The paedophiles have it easy finding the kids this way from a cartoon in your past! Obviously if someone posts Spongebob Square Pants it's probably a kid, now Betty Boop an adult!'

If you need corroboration, a quick search for "pedophile" or "pedo" on youropenbook.org will turn up a lot of status updates reading something like this:

ATTN:The group asking everyone to change their profile pictures to their favorite cartoon character is actually a group of pedophiles . They are doing it because kids will accept their friend request faster if they see a cartoon picture. It has nothing to do with supporting child abuse and violence, IT'S ON TONIGHT'S NEWS. Copy and paste this to your status, let everyone know now !!!

Well, we were skeptical about this rumor at first, because, uh, it doesn't make any fucking sense, at all, if you give it even one second of thought, but apparently, "IT'S ON TONIGHT'S NEWS," so it must be legit!

But, okay, for real, since some people are having trouble with this: "Pedophiles" are not "behind" this campaign, which is just a moronic way to make everyone feel better about themselves while also participating in the kind of sickening nostalgia for art-murdering pop culture ephemera that represents the nauseating, decadent end of western "civilization." Really! Just... take my word for it, okay? (Know Your Meme says it began as a joke in Greece and Cyprus.)

So: If you need to do the thing with the cartoon character, because you are one of those people, go ahead and do it. Don't be worried because you heard from the internet that pedophiles started that trend. Okay? Because, look, this campaign is already as sad and silly as this kind of thing gets, and tacking another, even dumber rumor on top of it will create an event horizon of internet idiocy (useless "awareness-raising" campaigns! Disgusting show-off nostalgia! Heightened fear of pedophile menace! Utterly unfounded rumors!) that I'm not sure even Facebook can handle.

Previously:

Facebook Users Defeat All Child Abuse by Changing Their Profile Pictures