ARE you in the top five per cent of the earning population but need to convince everyone you’re struggling to make ends meet? Here’s how.

Misunderstand tax rates

Deliberately have no grasp on how your income is taxed and then use that misinformation to attack a political manifesto on Question Time. Conveniently overlook the fact that Labour’s policy will only leave you out of pocket to the tune of £21 per month, you tight sod.

Have no idea what other people earn

Doctors must be earning heaps more than your IT consultancy wage because they’re actually doing something worthwhile, right? And if they’re rich you must be poor because that’s how the economy works.

Compare yourself to royalty

Ignore the sizeable chunk of the population that relies on food banks and instead consider how hard done by you are in comparison to the Royal Family. While they swan about in castles and palaces, you have to make do with scraping around in your second home in St Ives.

Look at what £ 80K could buy you in Victorian times

Eighty grand is a pittance in 2019, but in the 1800s it could’ve brought you Wales or a flat in zone 1. This might not be entirely true, but it’s the sort of thing common sense expert and man of the people Jacob Rees-Mogg would say.