It was Pittsburg. My Intel guru tells me that there are 26 Pirates in Pittsburg. They boarded a plane 3 days ago for parts unknown. 26 pirates- that's more than one per hostage. I want you to know that I have taken decisive action on this. I have dispatched a team of Navy SEaLs to track down the Pittsburg Pirates. This deed will not go unpunished!

Intel has also told us that Jason Bay defected to the Boston area (I knew he couldn't be involved). The Pirates are now led by someone called Jack Wilson. Curious- that doesn't sound like a Somali name...