LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

A new relationship is an exciting thing and that is certainly the case for local bricklayer Timothy Tool (24) who may have found more than just love.



After finally summing up the courage to download a dating app, Tool has managed to form a companionship with local salon manager Daisy Townend (25) with the two having recently made their relationship public via the now legally recognised ‘Facebook official announcement.’



Currently, Tool states he is enjoying the happy days of constant messaging and pressing together their respective bodies in the euphoria of not knowing about the other’s trauma, insecurities and family.



Now the young man has revealed that through his relationship with Townend he has now stumbled onto a bounty more fruitful than love itself.



“She’s always offering me her papaw lip balm or giving me a kiss after she’s just put it on,” said the lovestruck youngin, a look of sheer bliss passing over his blushed face.



“I never would have paid for it before but now I don’t have to. Not for the rest of my life.”



Papaw, or papaya, is a fruit and a popular base ingredient for natural lip balms.



Makers of papaw lip balm are aware that their secondary group of consumers are similar to Tool, men in relationships who really appreciate that their lip health is someone else’s responsibility for as long as they stay hitched.



When asked about her non-tax-deductible lip balm donations, Townend stated she too was enjoying the benefits of being in a classic hetero partnership.



“I’ve just scored a whole new collection of hoodies to chill out in.”

