ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Just days after meeting with US President Donald Trump in Helskini, Vladimir Putin has taken some time off to relax with friends this afternoon on the banks of the mighty Myoka River in St Petersberg.

Witnesses say the Russian President picked up half a box of local lager from a nearby chemist, changed into his favourite velour tracksuit and headed down to the riverside with some close mates for a few cheeky Tuesday squat beers.

There, he told one pal that he couldn’t believe how dumb Trump was and that he almost feels guilty for guiding him to power in 2016.

“He’s as dumb as those inner-city leftie freelance writers think he is,” said Putin.

“I’ve personally never experienced anything like it. You know, it made me think if I made the right decision to get him elected. I almost feel bad for America, Europe and lesser Western nations,”

“Almost, anyway. Pavel, I bet I can skip this stone to the other side of the river.”

He could.

More to come.