The Joy Of Punching

Does Being A Man Require You To Take A Punch?

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The Motives of Punching

Left to their own devices, the males of most species will arrange themselves into some sort of pecking order, usually through contests that involve things like head-butting or other displays of size and strength. The urge to fight may be inextricably linked to masculinity , but what makes us men, rather than simply male, is how we respond to our inherent drives. Are we at the mercy of our instincts, or do we make rational choices about how and when we act on them?

Self-awareness is as important as self-control. Before you smack out some jerk who’s just looking to prove what a tough guy he is, ask yourself to what extent your own insecurities play a role in your decision. Bullies tend to see themselves as victims, and the desire to protect someone close to you can very easily cross the line into intimidation and control.

To the man with a hammer, a wise man once said, everything looks like a nail. Violence is a powerful tool, but it should never be seen as a fix-all. Think of it more along the lines of a spatula — useless or detrimental in most situations, but extremely handy when you come across some guy who’s just begging to get his burger flipped.

Fighting — and knowing when not to fight — has made me a better person. Seeing firsthand, as it were, the damage I can do with my fists has not only boosted my self-confidence, but taught me to be more patient and put me in touch with my feelings. Take it from me: A man is never more vulnerable, humble or in need of emotional support than after he’s been beaten up.

I realize that some of you will dismiss me as an anachronism, a brute or a thug. That’s OK. I yam what I yam, as Popeye used to say, and what I yam is a man, which means that sometimes I’m going to have to hit someone. Maybe you disagree. The important thing is we don’t have to fight about it. Unless, of course, you really want to.