A 51-year-old Cleveland woman who was attempting to abscond with $140.47 of merchandise from the South Euclid Walgreens was spotted by a store manager and the suspect did what any reasonable person would do when faced with the fact that the gig was up: she pooped in the store.

From the News-Herald:

In the parking lot he asked Thomas for her receipt, which she could not find. The manager brought Thomas back into the store and told her that he was calling police. “Thomas told him that she had to use the bathroom badly when she suddenly pulled down her pants and defecated in the front of the store,” according to the report.



That wasn't the end, sadly. The suspect then left the store, heading toward Warrensville Center and Colony Rd., when the manager caught up with her. She then threatened to pepper spray him, told him she had AIDS and "would spit on him," and later, when the police arrived, said she had colon cancer and bed bugs, before again pulling down her pants.

She's been charged with theft and disorderly conduct.