When I was in 7th grade, my parents got HBO, Cinemax, Starz and Showtime. These were amazing. It felt like I could watch any movie that I wanted to. The best part was that there was swearing! More importantly, there were boobs! One of the first movies I watched on these fancy new networks was The 40-Year Old Virgin. It was hilarious. There was plenty of swearing and tits to satisfy my 12-year old fantasies. In one of the end scenes, Elizabeth Banks sits in a bathtub masturbating with a showerhead. To my 7th grade mind, this was the hottest scene in the movie. I couldn’t put my finger on why. She was mostly covered, and Ms. Banks wasn’t saying anything particularly sexy. After repeated viewings of the film, I noticed that I kept staring at her foot on the side of the tub. I’ve been into feet ever since.

About a year later, I started jerking off. I started with mostly PG-13 material. I rarely looked at nude women. I would beat off to Fergie music videos or Pants Off Dance Off on Fuse. After some searching for more risqué material on YouTube, I found videos that featured women in thongs. Mostly these were scantily clad beauties set over terrible Public Domain music. I once found a clip with audio. They were discussing the model’s feet. She mentioned how she loved guys licking her feet, and she let guys use her feet to masturbate. This sounded like the sexiest thing I’d ever heard. I learned I had a foot fetish.

This wasn’t something I chose or wanted. I just had it. I still have it! It’s written somewhere in my DNA. Maybe, all the men in my family have a foot fetish. Maybe, I have some sort of disorder. All I know is: I love feet, and I’m going to love feet forever.

Almost every video I’ve watched since then has had something to do with feet. I always figured this was weird, so I kept it bottled up until 9th grade. I was playing truth or dare with a few friends. Being scared of a dare, I chose truth. I was asked what the weirdest sexual desire I had was. I answered honestly declaring my foot fetish. No one understood, but everyone was okay with it. About half the girls didn’t care, 25% hid their feet and the rest asked what I thought of their feet. It became a pretty common joke almost immediately following.

Sometimes I gave friends foot massages. Occasionally, people would ask what that entails. Only my close friends knew about my fetish, and we went on normally. I always figured I was in a small percentage, despite a foot fetish being fairly common. It wasn’t until I heard others discuss foot fetishes that I realized there was a stigma attached.

I found out an older student in my high school had a foot fetish, but I never knew him. I never spoke to him; I doubt I even saw him other than on Facebook. I found out he had one through the old rumor mill. People talked about receiving messages from him offering upwards of $200 to play with girls’ feet.

People often used words like “freak” or “ew” to describe this guy. I even thought it was creepy, and I knew some guys paid girls for foot-play. Even one of my favorite teachers said people with foot fetishes were weird. I never spoke up about my fetish outside of my friends. I was scared that I’d be associated with this creep. This is the hardest part of having a foot fetish. From a young age, we are told that feet smell, and they are dirty and ugly. We are not supposed to like feet. They’re the lowest part of our bodies. How can someone like something so disgusting? No one likes to be a freak. Many of us try to keep this desire hidden, but that can be hard.

I want to break this mold. Guys or girls with foot fetishes are not creeps. It’s merely a fetish. Some of us just like licking, smelling, massaging and rubbing feet. I have other interests, and I keep my fetish confined to the bedroom. I wouldn’t offer money for it like my high school acquaintance. I enjoy a nice rack or ass like most guys. I can just appreciate other parts of a woman.

The second hardest part of having a foot fetish is summer. Everyone loves summer, especially me. What other time is it acceptable for women to wear flip-flops everyday? This is great for guys like me, right? Wrong! I love looking at feet. It’s the same as looking at nice breasts. Can you imagine if girls walked around shirtless all the time? Sure, it would be awesome, but it would make it harder to focus. Sometimes, I zone out in class staring at a girl’s feet in front of the classroom. It’s a major distraction, and it’s easier for me to become aroused in public. I’m always scared that some girl will notice and judge me.

There are some parts that are great about having a foot fetish. I love giving foot massages. Women tend to love getting foot massages. It’s a great sensual act that can be incredibly intimate. Tarantino’s “Foot Fucking Master” scene in Pulp Fiction sums this up nicely. I’ve learned new ways to please a woman with her feet.

I also begin to notice little things. I tend to notice when a girl gets a pedicure or changes her nail color. I tend to pick up on other small things that girls put effort into now and then to shake things up. I like noticing the little things. After all isn’t it the little things that matter?

Having a foot fetish is relatively normal. I’ve learned a lot about people from my own love of feet. I honestly think that it’s made me have a better understanding of myself.