ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A former prefect of Betoota Grove’s exclusive Whooton School For Boys has paid his first ever visit to our town’s Centrelink office this afternoon to get his childcare rebate.

Alistair Farquhar-Smith nodded at his boss as he headed out for lunch this morning to indicate he wouldn’t be coming back to the office.

Not because the private wealth manager at Bell Potter Betoota, the McDonalds of private wealth managers in the district, had clients to see.

Nor because the 31-year-old had a long lunch to attend.

“God,” he laughed.

“Imagine if I told him where I was going? He would’ve laughed his head off! But yes, here I am.”

Farquhar-Smith spoke briefly to The Advocate after he reversed his leased BMW into our reporter’s VE Commodore in the Centrelink car park.

“The wife sent me down here to pick up a child care rebate and I’ll tell you what, it’s not actually that bad in there. I thought it’d be a fucking zoo, my boy. Children screaming, mothers sighing. Drug addicts clashing with security! Nothing! Must’ve missed all the action!”

“Honestly, you read about Centrelink being this and Centrelink being that. From the experience I just had, if anything, we can afford to cut the budgets a bit. The lady who served me was very kind and helpful. I was in and out in under an hour!”

Our reporter nodded and took Mr Farquhar-Smith’s insurance information.

As the damage to the car wasn’t enough to write it off, our reporter opted to add some more with a length of reo bar once they got home.

More to come.

