Is your team terrible?

I mean, really terrible. If your team was a person, your team’s favorite actor would be Chad Michael Murray. Your team would be that guy in the bar that stands guard near the jukebox and refuses to listen to anything other than the Zac Brown Band’s “Chicken Fried.” Your team wants to debate whether Sidney Crosby or Jonathan Toews is a better captain. Your team cares whether or not the Toronto Maple Leafs salute their fans after a win. Your team thinks Mike Milbury “makes some good points.” Frankly, your team just “isn’t sure” about all this analytics stuff.

Let me give you an example of the kind of terrible that I mean.

CBJ has the same number of points as Buffalo. They have one less point than Carolina. I would like to remind everybody that BUFFALO IS PROBABLY TANKING ON PURPOSE, AND LITERALLY ONE MONTH AGO PEOPLE WERE CALLING CAROLINA THE “CONNORLINA HURRICANES.”

If you looked at that chart and said, “Oof, that’s rough, buddy,” get out of here. Take your winning team and your shiny points and your BIG EYES WITH SPARKLING STANLEY CUPS IN THEM AND GET OUT. This is a space for people who are suffering, and you are not suffering. You don’t know suffering.

People who understand this chart are the ones who looked at it, shrugged, and just said, “Yeah.”

Are you so empty that all you have left in you is “yeah”? Have you come to expect loss the way you expect that kid who was in your friend group in high school that to be honest nobody really liked but keeps showing up at all your reunions? Do you find yourself occasionally cheering for small victories, like winning a face-off or having more shots on goal than there are fingers on your hands?

You are my people, and I am here to help you. There are ways to get through this. There are methods and practices in place to help you manage, if not erase, your pain.