Goddammit Brian Herbert. How did you publish this without my knowledge? Why the fuck are you writing these? No one gives a shit what happened between Dune Messiah and Children of Dune. One of the reasons the Dune series is so awesome is that it’s about fate, destiny, the timelessness and steadfastness of the universe. The time skip between each novel (look at the jump between Children of Dune and God Emperor of Dune!) is meant to illustrate and emphasize these qualities. By trying to fill in the gaps between the novels, you are minimizing the lore, mystery, and impact of each of your father’s books.



You know what, though, I think that if your books were well written, I wouldn’t mind. I would just make the derp face and keep reading despite the fact that I think some gaps are better left unfilled.

But your books are not well written!



An example I’ve blogged about before:

“Inside [Sheeana’s] head, the fascinating and ancient voice of Serena Butler once again bubbled up from deep within her Other Memories. Sheeana carried on her conversation aloud. "Tell me one thing: How can Serena Butler be among my ancestors?” If you dig deep enough, I am there. Ancestor after ancestor, generation after generation… Sheeana was not so easily convinced. “But Serena Butler’s only child was murdered by thinking machines. That was the trigger of the Jihad. You had no heirs, no other descendants. How can you be in my Other Memories, regardless of how far back I go?” She looked up at the strange forms of the sandworms, as if the martyred woman’s face might be there. Because, Serena said, I am. The ancient voice said no more, and Sheeana knew she would get no better answer.“ -Hunters of Dune, 278-279 (Herbert, Anderson)

Do you expect me to read this and say, "Oh, you’re right, that makes sense. That explains a lot?” It’s not even like you explain it later, you NEVER address this again! BECAUSE I AM??? That’s not an argument you put in a book that’s about to be published! That’s an argument you use on a playground. In second grade. When you’re asked to justify your self-proclaimed statement that you are awesome. “Because I am!”

Your writing is not worth paying for. Trust me, when I heard that Frank Herbert’s son had found a treasure chest filled with his father’s notes on the Dune series and would be tying up the loose ends left at the end of Chapterhouse: Dune, I was overjoyed! “Who the fuck are those old people at the end? What’s going to happen between the Bene Gesserit and the Honored Matres? How does Murbella and Duncan’s relationship turn out? How much more fucking ass does Miles Teg kick”, asked I at 14 years of age. Finally! I would receive an answer to these questions. But then I read your prequels to Dune, your so-called “Legacy of Dune” and “Prelude to Dune” trilogies. After reading them, I thought, “Perhaps Brian Herbert is not the best representative to write the ending to one of the best and most enduring Sci-Fi classics of all time.”

I was absolutely correct. The answers you gave me to the questions that I had were poorly thought out, rushed, implausible, and quite simply ridiculous. Furthermore, your books are RIDDLED with inconsistencies. Even fan fiction writers pay more close attention to the works that they write about than you did to your father’s lasting legacy. Also, you use Deus ex machina not as a last resort to any given problem, but as a commonly occurring plot element.

Speaking of fan fiction, let me read to you the words in the jacket of Paul of Dune:

“Dune, Frank Herbert’s classic, ended with Paul Muad'Dib in control of the planet Dune. Herbert’s second Dune book, Dune Messiah, picks up the story several years later when Paul’s armies have conquered the galacy and Paul has become a religious figure. But what happened between Dune and Dune Messiah?” (Emphasis added)

That is straight up fucking fan fiction!

The title of a Harry Potter fan fiction that I found off of Google: “What Happened Between Those 19 Years?” This story is an account of what may have happened between the last chapter of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and the epilogue of the same book.

My point is that the premise and idea behind the two works is the same.

In your latest demonspawn, The Winds of Dune, you describe “What happened after Paul Muad'Dib walked into the desert at the end of Dune Messiah?” I’m assuming that you talk about how Jessica and Irulan find out about how Paul Atreides, the Kwisatz Haderach, used his prescient abilities, risking his name and reputation, in order to set in motion the Golden Path. The path that he could not follow but that he entrusted to his newly born son, Leto the Second. They also probably find out that all the evil that was done in Paul’s name and the tarnishing of his reputation was worth it for the survival of the human race.

“But wait,” some might say, “You haven’t even read the book, how could you possibly know what it’s about?” How, you ask? Well because I read a bit of the jacket cover AND BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FRANK HERBERT SAID FUCKING HAPPENS AFTER PAUL ATREIDES WALKS INTO THE DESERT IN CHILDREN OF DUNE and GOD EMPEROR OF DUNE.

You’re adding nothing to the series, Brian Herbert. You are simply creating side quests and side characters that we, as fans of Dune, care nothing about. You haven’t revealed anything really original in your novels. The only surprising thing that you published was probably the fact that what the Honored Matres were running from was a revived Machine empire, but even that wasn’t your idea. It was your father’s. In his notes.

You are a mediocre writer at best, writing fan fiction and capitalizing off your father’s success, thinking that you have some legitimacy for writing these novels because you are the great Frank Herbert’s son.

Another point that I would like to make is this: You have been pumping out novels pretty much non-stop since 1999. A book (sometimes multiple books) per year. Now, I appreciate hard work and I applaud your ability to get things done, but let me offer a point in contrast.

Your father, Frank Herbert spent about 3-6 years (9 years for Children of Dune) planning out each of his novels. This ensured that he had the right wording, the right character development, and great thematic (religion, politics, natural resources, loyalty, betrayal, etc etc.) plot development to fit his imagination and great vision that he had of the Dune universe. The result was a rich, dense, full environment. We laud JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings and Bioware’s Mass Effect for environments such as these.

You on the other hand, have been pumping out books each year for the sake of pumping out books. This seems to indicate to me that you are simply (as I mentioned before) milking your father’s success and collecting the cash from it.

Finally, one thing that I have been reluctant to mention is that I also see Kevin J. Anderson’s name next to your name. Now Kevin J. Anderson is an author I used to respect. I read his Star Wars Expanded Universe works, namely the Jedi Academy trilogy, when I was younger and I loved them. I loved Kyp Durron, Admiral Daala and the novel Sun Crusher. I wanted to read more about this period of time, so I went on to read the “parallel novel” I, Jedi by Michael A. Stackpole and loved that too. So much that whenever I played any game from then on, I named my player profile Corran Horn. Now I fear that my young age and immaturity had clouded my judgment on your works and that perhaps your books were actually trash. I’ll have to re-read those books.

So anyways, my main point is:

Please stop ruining Dune, Brian Herbert. Get your fucking hands off it and send someone else your father’s notes. Then we can have a gigantic book burning and pretend your books never happened and a qualified author who takes his or her time with it can write the real ending to Dune.

P.S. I will be checking out your books Paul of Dune and The Winds of Dune (no way am I paying for that shit) from the library today. I will be sure to write a followup post ridiculing these works further.