College football is the greatest creation in the history of the free world and this weekend absolutely proved it. Half of the top 10 teams lost and nearly a third of ranked teams lost. Also Bama let up 3 points to Mississippi State, so everyone played poorly.

Fans complained about the lack of movement in the perceived top 4 teams and father chaos rained down L after L until the only undefeated teams were Alabama and Western Michigan.

This weekend allegedly had no good games. College football made us look stupid again, which I’m convinced is its favorite thing to do. It was hard to pick just four losers but I think we found the best of the bunch.

Michigan waltzed into Iowa City undefeated looking ahead to Urban Meyer and friends. They got knocked out by $45 million Kirk Ferentz on a last second field goal. Speaking of last second field goals, Clemson lost at home to Pitt in the exact same way.

USC manhandled the Washington Huskies and sent that poor pupper into his kennel to watch the playoff from the outside. Poor pupper.

Auburn lost to an unranked and bad Georgia team to cement Alabama as SEC West champions (you may now cackle maniacally). The Tigers did not gain a first down in the second half and allowed Georgia to score 7 of their 13 points on a pick six to lost 7-13. I teared up a little writing that.

Here is the part where I warn you that the language below is not my own and is as obscene as Tennessee orange. Continue at your own peril.

Oh and in case you thought I was serious about last week being the final edition of the meltdown thread you clearly haven’t been paying attention to anything I’ve written here. Not sorry to disappoint :)

UM(MMMM)... I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU LOST TO IOWA

Bama's D vs Bama's O national championship game I'm calling it now. Me watching this shit show of a game. I don't know what the Playoff Committee is gonna do Tuesday, but I bet it's going to upset everyone 2, 3, and 4 haven’t lost on the same day since 1985 and on that day Michigan lost to Iowa with Jim Harbaugh at QB. We just hate OSU so much that we lose to fuck them over. Jim Harbaugh is a fucking crybaby failure and will never win it all. Why the hell can the highest paid coach in college football not beat a shit Iowa team? Jabrill Peppers isn’t gonna win a Heisman and we won’t beat bama, let’s just give up. Well it appears I have a mild case of alcohol poisoning and let me tell you it’s still preferable to losing to Iowa. Maybe Iowa was onto something when they signed that big ass extension for Ferentz. Should we try to steal him from them? Harbaugh is a whiny little bitch and I can’t stand watching him on the sidelines in his khakis and what has to be depends under there because he pisses himself so much whining at the officials on every single play. Team Chaos be like The last time Michigan State won and Michigan lost on the same day was November 28, 2015. This clearly establishes that Western Michigan is the best team in Michigan. At least we have the Lions *cries* Saban looked at the playoff picture tonight and was like "Execute Oder 66". You motherfuckers. The University of Alabama presents: The 2016 CFB Playoffs 18 Half of the top 10 teams lost today. Nobody is safe from anyone except Alabama because fuck the rest of us. If Jim spent more time watching film and less time drinking milk at his stupid ass steak houses he wouldn’t lose to a crap Iowa team. Harbaugh should go back to the queers in San Fran where he belongs. If Harbaugh can’t win us a championship by next year he needs to be fired. *sung musically* go blue dabodeeIwannadie letmediedabodeedabodie. How the hell does Iowa beat the best team in the damn country? What good has come out of Iowa literally ever? Maybe some slightly above average corn? Fuck Iowa.

TRAPPED IN THE PITT OF DESPAIR

Are we still doing Clemsoning? Eat shit Pitt Topical self-burn :( Clemson wins the national championship Clemson fans: BOOOOOO Clemson fans be like #notmyrefs I salute you Clemson faithful for standing up to shitty officiating BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO inhales BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Let it be known. Clemson fans hold mean ref grudges "Refs love clemson" narrative taking a hit today Fans rush the field anyway Disappointed rushing One thing about a Clemson game is you will never again forget how to spell Clemson. How much alcohol does it take to forget this? I'll find out "Well, our pass offense is terrible, we have the physical manifestation of the word 'Warrior' in our backfield, and we need a 2 point conversion. What do we do?" "Uhh, 5 step QB drop for a pass?" "Goddamn GENIUS." 3 ints but it's the refs faults What's the fastest land animal? These refs when the clock hits 0:00. Welcome everyone who is here to see chaos. Seats are on the left, popcorn is to your right, and the GUN TO SHOOT MYSELF WITH IS IN THE CLOSET CAN WE PULL A LONGEST YARD? THROW THE FUCKING BALL AT THEIR FUCKING NUTS SHITTY REFS. I SWEAR TO GOD GUYS IF YOU LET ONE MORE FUCKING SHOVEL PASS BEAT YOU I WILL TYPE ANGRY COMMENTS ON THE INTERNET Two weeks later Clemson fan spills drink Boos refs Clemson fans after FSU and NC STATE be like "whatever, shit calls happen to every team. Clemson fans after Pitt be like "Fuck these fucking refs fucking bullshit fucking officiating fuck" Don't play a PA team if you're ranked #2 These refs will seriously need a police escort WE WILL BOO NEXT WEEK AT WAKE FOREST TOOWE WILL BOO NEXT WEEK AT WAKE FOREST TOO Q U A L I T Y L O S S U A L I T Y L O S S This game really helps to illustrate the futility of life and the illusion of joy. Entities created to protect you like the government or the officials will wait til your defense is down and fuck you when you need them most. Things that were supposed to give you joy and victory LOSE TO FUCKING UNRANKED PITT AT HOME YOU COLOSSAL ASSHOLES HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!?

WASHINGATON OF TEARS AWAY

WE WANT BAMA! TO STAY VERY FAR AWAY FROM US BECAUSE WE ARE SO SCARED PLEASE DON’T KILL US! At least we don’t have glasses ref anymore. White towels for a black out. You can't explain that! A man and his faithful compainion walks through the field. The weather has turned crisp; fall is here. Winds coming in off the Cascades ripples the grass around the pair. The sun is setting low on the horizon. The man takes a ball out the rumpstack, the dog stiffens. It's a game they have played before; a game of fetch. The man bounces the ball off the grass, the husky intent on taking the ball. The man steps back a few steps -- a sign that he is going to rifle the ball into the unknown. The husky prepares. The man winds up, and fires the ball; the husky runs into the endless grass in the search for the long-gone ball. "Psych, you stupid dog" the man said, still holding the ball. He puts it away; then puts on a Trojan helmet. "Dang dog doesnt learn." UW Keys to win: -USC CBs fall over -USC WRs fall over Ah yes, the classic "Middle of the Play" timeout. "Get the first down!" - Washington fans "Lol no, I'm gonna run sideways" - Washington players When were you when Washington was kill Was sit on couch crying in beer "Huskies r kill" "Woof" If I played for the Huskies I'd just be petting that dog the whole time Make desperate throw. Picked. Center button. Turn off console. Go outside. Smoke cigarette. I has a sad now If the Huskies must lose, at least it will be to the accompaniment of some great music Team Chaos seems to be waving a big dick around this weekend. The Pac-12 has officially fucked itself. So much chaos today. Unranked UGA beat #9 Auburn Unranked Pitt beat #2 Clemson Unranked Mississippi state scored against #1 Alabama And #20 USC beat #4 Washington Unranked Ole Miss beat #8 Texas A&M too Unranked GT beat #14 VT too Unranked Iowa beat #3 Michigan Browning: "mah Heisman campaign..." Me irl Shout outs to that scrappy Southern Cal program getting a landmark victory over mighty Washington. I love it when directional schools do well. Sad woof ╔═════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ════════════════╗ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong Pac-12 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don’t need no playoff ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ╚═════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ════════════════╝ USC IS WHY THE PAC12 CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS Clemson: should we give them a shot again? Michigan: sure Lord Saban gave his command.

AU BURN IT ALL DOWN