How a slur entered the modern lexicon

Queer has been a controversial word in recent history, and for good reason. As early as the 19th century, queer has been used as a slur for gay men.

At its core, queer means strange or bizarre, and it conjures imagery of perverse and abnormal acts. So you may ask why I would use such a word to describe myself and my peers. Isn’t it self deprecating and counterproductive?

I personally don’t think so. On the contrary, our community has been trying to reclaim the word for decades, and I think that’s great. It takes the power out of the hands of haters and brings it back to us.

Beyond that, it makes it easier to be inclusive of all identities without leaving anyone out. For example, LGBT — which has been the standard for quite some time — covers only lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. What about everyone else? What about asexual, intersex, nonbinary, demisexual, etc…

For some, the solution has been to simply add more letters. LGBTQIA, for example. Others go even further, adding an asterix (*) or plus (+) to the end as an “anyone else we may be forgetting” kind of thing.

Personally, I don’t think that’s fair. Who decides which identities deserve to be represented with a letter and which ones are relegated to the plus or asterix? It’s much better to pick a — relatively — neutral word to describe the community, which is so diverse there’s no way to possibly represent everyone.

Is queer ideal? Not really. However, it is, in my opinion, empowering to steal back a word used for so long to try and keep us down and spin it in a positive light.

That said, it’s certainly not for everyone. There are some who cannot reconcile the negative connotations of the word, and their feelings are valid. It’s important that we recognize that everyone has a right to be comfortable within this community, so I would advise caution when throwing around the word queer, as you can’t really know who is OK with it. I only use it when referring to myself and my community.

As always, it’s best to ask. I’m a big fan of communication.

Do you have a question you’d like me to tackle? Email me at askadabt@gmail.com. Also, check out my Facebook page for more interesting posts. I love to link to other great resources over there.

With respect,

Ada

P.S.: I apologize for the short post this week, I just started the first week of classes in my Clinical Mental Health Counseling master’s program. I do plan to continue posting on a weekly basis, and hopefully my courses will help me to better help folks be effective allies. Take care all, and I’ll see you around.