Unemployment, we’ve all been there. It’s never a fun thing to go through. The endless job hunting and filling out the same damn job application every time. After a while you begin to feel like a broken record, repeating the same thing to prospective employers at every interview.

Let’s take a slightly more in depth look at the joy and fun of being unemployed shall we?

JOB APPLICATIONS

How many times have you handed a prospective employer your resume only to be asked to fill out a 4 page application? You just finished handing your prospective employer all the information he/she needed. Now you have to handwrite all that lovely info all over again across the span of 4 pages. YAY!!!

Of course there is the most hated of all questions on an employment application where you fill in your work history; why did you leave this job?

There’s really no right answer to this question is there? It’s like the employment version of the “Honey, do I look fat in this?” question. The only answer you can really give is that you were “laid off”. Which works when you’re very young but as you grow older, that 15 year work history of being “laid off” starts to look rather conspicuous.

Well wait just one minute here Steve, I’m not going to be untruthful with the person interviewing me. I was fired from my last job. What do I do then, oh magnificent one?

Well thanks for the question, I’m glad you asked! YOU’RE SCREWED.

How do you put a positive spin on being “Fired”? The employer is going to take one look at that word and think worst case scenario, like maybe you were fired for telling sexist, racist, jokes about waterfowl while watching episodes of Duck Dynasty on your computer at work….I don’t know, this is your story!

GETTING TURNED DOWN FOR A JOB

So you didn’t get your dream job of cleaning bathrooms at your local pub. Look on the brightside: You’re not going to be cleaning up shit for a living.

See what I did there? It’s called positive thinking. You’re welcome.

In all seriousness, no one likes to be turned down for a job. Dream job or not, we all need a paycheck. The best thing you can do is do what I said in the above paragraph…stay positive and keep on Chiving…..wait, that’s something else entirely isn’t it?

FINDING WORK ON THE INTERNET

Does the above picture look familiar? If not, wander on over to Craigslist and have a gander at your local job listings. Better yet…Just Google “Work from home jobs”. They can be found everywhere on the internet with promises to make you tons of money in a short amount of time, with little to no effort on your part. Yeah, sure, and my name is Tom Brady and I’m here to sell you a deflated football!

Too soon?

The other fun thing about these types of internet jobs is that they will promise to give you all their “insider” tips and tricks to help you be more successful with your new online…ahem…business for a nominal fee. Or! They will make you listen to a WEBINAR! You lucky bastard, you!

Let me save you both money and time. No matter what type of internet business, MLM, or Pyramid Scheme, the tips will ALWAYS be the same. Are you ready to get your mind blown?

Are you sure?

Alright then….

Life Changing Super Secret Tip Number One: Don’t give up…….No frickin’ shit right? I’ll keep going…

Life Changing Super Secret Tip Number Two: Believe in yourself….Yeah? Are you liking this?

LIfe Changing Super Secret Tip Number Three: Remember to breathe……*FACEPALM

I could go on but I’m sure you’re getting the gist of it by this point. If you want any online company’s SUPER SECRETS TO SUCCESS, all you have to do is pick up an Anthony Robbins Book. Simple.

The bottom line with Pyramid Schemes and MLM’s…AVOID THEM.

PAID ONLINE SURVEYS

You’ll see these as well while job hunting online. Although not a scam per se’, they are really not worth your time although some of them are indeed scams. I realize that this is more of “a really really shitty way to make money online” as opposed to a real job, but it’s still worth bringing up.

The overall theme here is that a job is getting harder and harder to find…especially on the internet. Happy hunting!