In general, self-promotion has a negative connotation. And introverts are so wrapped up in over-analyzing everything, namely the impression of ourselves that we leave on others, that we avoid doing or saying anything questionable. Share this: Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)

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I was walking down the streets of Warsaw, Poland headed to dinner with aircrew members from my flight. We were all kind of paired off having individual conversations within the group. One of the other flight attendants told me after exiting the military he wants to become an entrepreneur and went on for a few minutes about his plans. I could relate and expressed how I want to build a brand that offers encouraging tips for introverts to embrace who they are. He then responded, “Cool. But what do you know about being an introvert?” I thought to myself, “You mean besides the fact that I am one?” I never expected to be probed about something so natural to me. The question really should have been easy to answer. I have been an introvert all my life. Yet, I clammed up.

Struggling with Self-Promotion

In fact, many of us introverts struggle to talk about ourselves. Probably because self-promotion is frequently viewed as pushy or aggressive, and most introverts like to be neither. In general, self-promotion has a negative connotation. And introverts are so wrapped up in over-analyzing everything, namely how we come off to others, that we avoid doing or saying anything questionable. There are quite a few published articles that aim to help introverts with self-promotion, but the typical advice is for introverts to get out of their comfort zones. I completely agree with the general statement that we should at times stray away from our norms. However, I feel the solution for helping introverts to confidently talk about themselves is different. The problem is not that we are too comfortable in our current state. The problem lies in our view of self-promotion and how we go about it.

At this point, we had made it to the restaurant and were waiting for a table. I think my coworker got distracted by the aroma of savory sausage and freshly baked bread, because he switched subjects and started talking about his growling stomach. After all, we had walked a few miles, opting to take the scenic route, to get there. I can’t lie; I also wanted less talking and more eating, so I appreciated the break in conversation. Though, the break did not last long. Once we were seated, he continued “You were saying …. why should introverts listen to you?” This time it was not just him tuning in. Everyone at the table was looking my direction. I really felt like I was center stage then. Thankfully, I knew how to deliver my answer so that I could get out of my head.

Changing our View of Self-Promotion

Since self-promotion has the word ‘self’ in it, we see it as something focused on bringing attention to ourselves. This is not wrong. But we can adjust our view of self-promotion to a means to show people how we can benefit them. Thus, it is no longer about us (relieving a lot of the pressure). The solution, therefore, is to make sure we come from a service-based space. If I think about the countless self-improvement books I have read where somewhere in the first or second chapter the author provides a laundry list of items that name him or her the subject matter expert, it all makes sense. These authors are not aiming to build themselves up so that the reader looks incomparable to them. They are listing their credentials to show the reader why they are qualified to help.

Application

“Well introverts are my chosen niche,” I began. “And my online community is largely of like-minded people who find introvert topics just as interesting as I find them.” “Oh you blog?” asked someone else at the table. I nodded and went on, “I also took courses in both undergrad and grad school where I learned about personality traits including introversion and how they affect our outlook on life. And before becoming a flight attendant, I had internships and jobs where I was trained to use specific techniques and skill sets versus depending on sheer personality to succeed on a project or to close a sale. By sharing what I have learned in an interesting manner such as through my blog or social media, the information can reach people who may not have studied the same things or had the same direct coaching.”

My coworker nodded his head starting to see the big picture. “Cool, I think my sister would like your blog. What’s the name of it again?” “Yea. I’ll have to check it out some time,” said one of the other crew members. I had listed my credentials and how they could be of service to others which answered his question without making me feel like I was bragging. If I had adjusted my mindset and made it less about me in the first place, I could have answered his question during our one-on-one conversation versus having to tell the whole table later. On the bright side, I might have added a couple new members to my online family.

Self promotion should not always be viewed negatively. If we embrace it, we might be surprised with the results.

Leave a comment below on how you deal with self-promotion.

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