As mayor, Giuliani’s was most famous for his 9/11 performance, which was more impressive if you ignored the fact that he’d located the city’s emergency command at the World Trade Center, despite police warnings that the towers had previously been bombed by terrorists. In a way, he’s playing a similar role now — he’s assigned to deal with a crisis he’s helped create. How often did you worry about Ukraine before Rudy picked up the case?

Among other accomplishments, our person-without-portfolio managed to get rid of the respected U.S. ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch. Giuliani seems to believe she was in collusion with liberal megadonor George Soros in a plot to destroy Paul Manafort. Or something. Very hard to get inside the Rudy mind.

It’s a dark and winding territory. Remember that fabled appearance on CNN with Chris Cuomo?

“So you did ask Ukraine to look into Joe Biden?”

“Of course I did!”

“You just said you didn’t!”

“No, I didn’t ask them to look into Joe Biden.”

People, if you had a pal who needed only two or three minutes of airtime to contradict himself, a pal who was deeply unphotogenic to the point of scary, a pal who had no formal relationship whatsoever to the federal government, would you encourage him to speak about foreign affairs on your behalf? A lot?

See, this is why Trump is president and you’re not.

The saga Giuliani’s peddling is that when Joe Biden was vice president, he got a top Ukraine prosecutor tossed out of office for investigating Hunter Biden’s business deals in that country. Actually, most of the Western world had loathed said prosecutor for his corruption. But Trump definitely likes Rudy’s story better.