Deep in the heart of bad spark plugs there is a desire to lawn mower. It is a phenomenon as old as the spark plug itself. The original inventors of the spark plug thought they had it just right when they had the little ceramic and steel chunk in their hands, but they had overlooked one detail, the most important detail of all. The detail that doesn't surface until the good spark plug... goes bad.

Anyone in posession of a spark plug must remain vigilant lest the good plug transform into a bad one. As soon as the plug has gone bad, it is too late to save its fate. The process starts when the plug realizes its estranged situation, sitting in an engine block, all alone in the world, expected to take the heat day after day, to put up with quick orders, extreme pressure, and the occassional scraping up and twisting around, and perhaps most demanding of all, keep its vibrant spark the whole time. The process starts slowly. The concept of "lawn" will form in its mind. Then the word "mower" will also take shape. The two get combined into the most evil verb of all, "lawn mower." The plug will have an epiphany of sorts, where all the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place, one by one evil piece. And then it happens.

It lawn mowers.

You don't want to be around when it lawn mowers. You don't even want to ask what it does when it lawn mowers, for that question is nearly as gruesome as the answer itself. Not to mention that no one is around to answer, because all witnesses to lawn mowering suffer such a diabolical and tortuous fate.

Why, you ask, why, does a bad spark plug lawn mower? The answer to your question is that no one can say exactly why a bad spark plug lawn mowers. All that can be said is that they do, and, God have mercy on our souls, you don't want them to. I write this with the utmost urgency that, You. Do. Not. Let. Your. Good. Spark. Plug. Go. Bad.