During my time as an out and proud member of the gay community, I’ve found that I have come across quite a high number of people who are quick to use the term “gay best friend” in order to describe either me or one of their friends. I have a problem with this.

Debates happen all the time about what is the “politically correct” thing to say, how you should speak to people. My answer? Speak to them with respect, that’s all. Sure they may be a part of a minority group, but do your best to treat them like an individual.

My issue with this is the desire that people have to throw “gay” on the front of it. Why can’t I, or whoever your best friend is, be just that, your best friend? You would never say “here is my black best friend” or “here is my Jewish best friend”. Placing the word gay in front of a declarative title such as best friend feels more like you’re just describing an accessory, like you’re making them lesser that what would classify as a best friend.

Perhaps I’m waffling, perhaps I’m reading way too much into this topic or maybe I’m just overreacting. But I feel even phrases so casual as “gay best friend” carry just as much impact in their subtle meaning as more explicit phrases.

These days, I’ve noticed many social circles or young women want a ‘GBF’ as a trophy of achievement, to tell them their hair looks great, to go shopping with or to tell them when their ass looks big in a certain pair of jeans. Sure we may do those stereotypical things from time to time but remember that your GBF is more than that, he’s your best friend.