Chilean Poet Ghostwrites Twitter and Facebook Updates for Celebs



Chilean poet and experimental filmmaker Brontis Riquelme has created an online image management company called "Status Message," a service which brings the profession of ghostwriting to Web 2.0.Riquelme claims his service allows wealthy Chilean citizens and celebrities to appear engaged to their fans without the constant attention and image micromanagement that most social media demands."We take your life and we make it surreal and fascinating," said Riquelme. "We take the details of your famous existence and we run them through the blender of dreams and we make you into the person you wish to be, one update at a time."Riquelme claims that, for a monthly fee, "Status Message" is able to mimic the voice of its clients while at the same time delivering important information to the fans and friends of those willing to pay."We maintain your persona day by day like good little angels," said Riquelme.While "Status Message" is currently only available to those who can afford it, Riquelme imagines a future where everyone will be able to "disconnect" and let their online lives be managed from afar by teams of artists and intellectuals."We charge a lot of money," said Riquelme. "Our service is not yet for normal people. We take famous actors and politicians and we make sure that their essence is transmitted to the outside world."According to Riquelme, even the most interesting people lose much of their cache as a result of modern social netowrking, which reduces personality to terse fragments."Consider the American actor Mr. Christopher Walken," said Riquelme. "He is a man of much intellect and wit, and yet he does not have time to let the world know what he is thinking at all hours of the day. We understand Mr. Christopher Walken and so we would be able to tap into his heart and make sure that his digital image is as profound and witty as the man himself."Social media can be intoxicating and yet dangerous for celebrities and the wealthy. High-profile individuals must walk a fine line between saying too much or saying nothing at all, and therefore becoming irrelevant."We know people's fears, desires, lusts, and pain," said Riquelme. "I hire poets and writers who specialize in being ghosts, in being lucid yet absent, in turning real people of the world into colorful characters."Riquelme says he doesn't need many accounts in order to turn a profit and that all of his clients so far have come from the upper echelons of Chilean politics, fashion, and entertainment."The mark of my success is that you don't know who my clients are and I will never tell you," said Riquelme. "Status Message is the modern version of ghostwriting, now that memoirs happen day by day, in real time, in the electronic ghost world that exists adjacent to tangible reality."