I know I’m not the first TS person to go through what I am about to describe.

I was walking into my office up a long walk way. Along the way I run into co-workers from another office. Everything is polite, The normal Hi, How are you etc. Being that I do not know these individuals and only deal with them officially as part of my position I continue to walk up the path. Their discussion which was related to a purchase of a new car takes an obvious turn as I walk past and ahead of them.

What was being said in plain english and aloud, the conversation is now in Spanish (a language I do not speak) and hushed followed by laughter.

The knots in my back tighten and I continue to hold my head up high and walk on. I have worked here for years and have had enough experience with others here to know that while I am taken seriously in the meeting rooms and corridors of my office. I can’t help but still feel merely tolerated outside of the professional space.

Maybe I’m wrong and they just decided to continue talking about the new car. Seems odd that such an innocent conversation need to be masked around me and spoken in hushed tones.

I may have been naive to think that being post-op almost 5 years and working with my current employer for 4 years, I’d be immune to this anxiety.

While I don’t want to destroy any hope for those beginning their transition. Be warned. Being understood and tolerated are two very different things and the baggage we carry while lightened over time never truly disappears.