Terry Crews wants you to know something: He's not what everyone hypes him up to be. The mountain of a man with the million-dollar smile has expanded his brand from the jacked-up mean black dude to a funny, friendly teddy bear, while still keeping his alpha-maleness — as we see in the TV shows Everybody Hates Chris and Brooklyn Nine-Nine (and as we'll see when he starts hosting Who Wants to Be a Millionaire), those Old Spice commercials, The Expendables franchise, and Idiocracy. But with his book , now in stores, Crews shows a rarely seen sensitive side as he opens up about his troubled upbringing in Flint, Michigan, struggling to make it in the NFL, and an addiction to porn that almost crumbled his 25-year marriage.

We talked to Crews to get some insight on the book's more revealing parts, if we'll ever see an Idiocracy sequel, and what every man wants for Father's Day.

ESQUIRE.COM: Did you have to get talked into writing Manhood?

TERRY CREWS: I couldn't tweet everything, you know? I got a lot to say, and I would get a lot of questions about certain things. Being married 25 years and having five kids, there were misconceptions being put out there. "Terry Crews is so great! Oh my God, he's the best man ever!" And I was like, wow, and I would get that side eye from my wife and I'm like, "I think I have to bust this bubble." [Laughs]

ESQ: What's interesting is you reveal a vulnerable side in this book, one we don't see when you're on the screen. Were you concerned that showing this would hurt the lucrative persona you've created?

We all know Hollywood is a bit of a publicity game where it's constantly trying to put up this image and I was not interested in that.

TC: Well, the thing is I wanted to kill that persona. In fact, it opens up more roles than it closes. What happens is people fall in love with one type and you're stuck there. I think this was a thing where people go, "What a minute, he's like me!" I thought it would open up things. We all know Hollywood is a bit of a publicity game where it's constantly trying to portray things and put up this image and I was not interested in that.

ESQ: I can't help but compare your early career to Tommy "Tiny" Lister. I read a profile on him not too long ago and I thought of you because in Friday After Next you basically played a version of Deebo.

TC: Yep.

Piper Ferguson

ESQ: And Lister has been pigeonholed in that big angry black role, which you were the next version of, but then you became more diverse. Did you realize you had to do more so you didn't end up like Tiny?

TC: Without Tiny I wouldn't be here. I knew that Tiny wasn't going to do Friday After Next and they needed a big threat. That was the whole point. But what I discovered is if I infused Terry Crews into everything that it's a new deal. As long as I am myself I stand alone. And stereotype roles, in fact, got me jobs, but then when I got on the job they realized I could do all these other things.

ESQ: But I will say this about you and Tiny, you both got to play the president [Crews in Idiocracy, Lister in The Fifth Element].

TC: [Laughs] Yeah! I know. That's awesome.

ESQ: Is the President Camacho [in Idiocracy] movie going to happen?

TC: I don't know. Mike [Judge] is killing it right now with Silicon Valley. I'm so proud of him. He's one of the best people ever. We're just waiting to see what happens. I'm not going anywhere.

ESQ: Neither of you guys have given up on it, it's just on the back burner.

TC: Oh yeah. When Mike is ready, I'm ready, and it's really Mike's call to be honest. But Idiocracy just gets better and better.

ESQ: It's one of those movies that, when it comes on, you have to stop what you're doing and watch it.

Idiocracy

TC: [Laughs] It's true. And what blew my mind is when Tilda Swinton, an actress I love, came up to me and said, "Idiocracy is one of my favorite movies of all time." And I was like, holy cow! I didn't know it would influence people like that.

ESQ: To get back to the book, one part I highlighted was that after the NFL you had aspirations to get into animation or special effects. Did it ever go anywhere?

TC: Art was always my thing. I had an art scholarship before I had a football scholarship. I'm a left-handed, right-brained, painting-drawing guy. That was always my skill. I did courtroom sketches in college. And when I was in the NFL, whenever I got cut from a team I would do paintings of the players, they would pay me $4,000 to $5,000 to do their painting of their family, and that's how I survived until another team picked me up. So after the NFL I went and gave my portfolio to Disney. And you have to keep submitting but what I didn't catch on to was that hand-drawn animation was leaving. I remember going after getting on The Prince of Egypt at DreamWorks, but sure enough computer animation changed everything. So that led me to acting auditions, because I was broke.

ESQ: Do you still paint?

TC: I sketch. I have a big sketchbook. In fact, they added that to my character in Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I sit at my desk and sketch. I still love it.

ESQ: And in the book you are very appreciative of Sylvester Stallone. Calling him a father figure. How did you build such a bond?

TC: I mean, if we were writing the Bible right now, Sly would be in there. "And then Stallone came" [laughs] "and he brought the tablets down..." He heard about White Chicks and saw an A-Team audition I filmed for B.A. Baracus, and he called me directly and said he wanted to meet with me. He took me under his wing and saw my hunger and that I wanted to learn. That's the father-figure angle. We would look at dallies [for The Expendables] and he would tell me the scenes where I can shine. He taught me so much.

ESQ: You reveal some very private things in the book. That you had to go to therapy for your addiction to pornography and that you admitted to your wife that you got a handjob in a massage parlor. How did you two discuss how to put that in the book?

TC: I didn't show her the pages, I just wanted to get it out privately. But I told her what I was telling. It was just like with my parents, I said, "Hey guys, I'm telling everything." And they were like, "Of course." And when it was out they were like, "Oh my God, you wrote that in?" [Laughs]

ESQ: At your darkest point, how much pornography were you watching?

There's a lot of people who look at porn and don't look at it again for ten years. I'm not that dude. Some people can smoke crack and never do it again. But I'm not that guy. If I ever took a hit of crack, dude —

TC: I mean, the thing is I spend a lot of time in hotels. I would be in a hotel for three months. You do your workout, you got two hours on a set, and you go back and you know you have a problem when you start looking and it's daytime and then you realize it's night and you're still watching. "Shoot, I've been here for six hours!" That's an issue. And then it becomes a chase, you're looking for that one visual, it's not even fun. Because most porn stinks. You're never satisfied. It's a drug and you're chasing a high. There's a lot of people who look at porn and don't look at it again for ten years. I'm not that dude. Some people can smoke crack and never do it again. But I'm not that guy. If I ever took a hit of crack, dude —

ESQ: But let's not go down that road, Terry.

TC: [Laughs] Let's just say there wouldn't be another book. It's a wrap.

ESQ: You have four daughters and a son. How do you explain to them what you put in the book and the movies you do?

I would never do a role where I'm naked in bed with a chick having sex.

TC: As a parent you walk around trying to be perfect, but you don't have to be perfect. That's the key. You just have to be faithful, and when I say faithful I mean you have to give your all. And in terms of being an actor I would never do a role where I'm naked in bed with a chick having sex. There are so many people out there who think because I did the Old Spice commercials I'll do anything. You should see the scripts that I get offered. Ridiculous stuff. Hangover-type stuff with me running around naked with chicks all over. I'm never doing that. Because it objectifies women and me, I don't want to do that. But the roles I do take, there's a perfect reason. I can explain any role I've ever taken from Friday After Next to Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I'm proud of each one and at different stages of their lives my kids will be ready for them. My oldest ones, 27 and 23, they see Friday After Next and they laugh. And we talk about it. With Blended I asked them, "Do you guys feel embarrassed for me?" And they were like, "Yeah." And I was like, "Good, because that means I'm doing it right." [Laughs]

ESQ: You brought up in an interview that you believe African-American culture doesn't communicate as much. And in the book you point that out through your upbringing in Flint. Are you trying to show in the book that you can be open about your feelings and still be a man?

TC: I'm African-American by my culture, not by my color. Race does not exist. Ethnicity and culture should be celebrated. I'm going to say this, and I mean it: If you cheered when O.J. got off, you're in the race. If you cheered when Zimmerman got off, you're in the race. As soon as you leave the race, you see a mom that got killed and a teenager with a bullet in their chest. It all shifts your frame of mind when you stop thinking of race. I wrote the book from a perspective of: In our culture, that's what we've done. Not talk about real stuff and not put ourselves out there. The reason I can host Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is because I got out of the race. Before my own feelings of what black people should do was holding me back, and now it's not.

ESQ: Father's Day is coming up. What's in store for you?

That's the best gift for Father's Day, just leave them alone.

TC: I'm just hanging with the family. The big thing with all parents is they just want to be left alone. [Laughs] I want no demands. That's the best gift for Father's Day, just leave them alone... and some sex at night, then we'll be good. [Laughs]

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