Here is a conversation my best friend had with her boyfriend the other day, including (what she considered) the subtext.

MY FRIEND

Baby, wanna start watching The Bachelor with me?

[Please please please please!]

HER BOYFRIEND

*I... don't... really want to... watch... The Bachelor.

[If you go down on me I will watch The Bachelor.]*MY FRIEND

It is on at 8 p.m.!

[OK.]

These two are like the Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone of stock photos.

Having never been in a serious relationship, I'm sort of an idiot savant about it. I'm basically Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man. Although I write about them for work, when it comes to the inner workings and compromises necessary to sustain a long-term relationship, I'm sort of clueless--and that's why the concept of the Pavlovian blow job sits weirdly with me.

Going down on your boyfriend to train him to do stuff/not do stuff just seems a little... utilitarian? Unromantic? I mean, Pavlov's conditioning experiments were conducted on dogs (hence "Pavlov's dogs"), which, frankly, doesn't give your guy much credit. Also, I like to imagine it would be somewhat less enjoyable for him if he knows you're only trading one service for another.

Furthermore, what other shows do you want him to watch with you? Are you going to rim him for Real Housewives Of Atlanta? Rusty Trombone him for America's Next Top Model? Where does it end?

Any of you long-term girlfriends feel like schooling me on the ethics and/or necessity of the Pavlovian blow job? More importantly, is the Rusty Trombone still a thing?

Once upon a time, blowjobs:

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photo: Thinkstock