Comedians say the things we all think but never say. They point out the absurdity of life in ways we would never think to. And they express what we thought were personal anomalies but are actually widely experienced. Good comedians even make us laugh. Louis CK was a perfect example of this. Famed for his brutal honesty, wit and insight his comedy struck a chord with millions of people to become one of the most popular comedians of his generation.





His TV show Louie was unlike any I had seen before. Less plot-driven and more character focused than most shows it filled viewers with an insight into the mind of a lonely, middle-aged, newly-single father in New York City. Interlaced with pieces of stand-up the show felt less like a work of fiction and more an autobiographical documentary about CK’s life. And CK was doing well. With sell-out tours and two critically acclaimed TV shows under his belt, he was on top.





And then came the accusations.





In late 2017 the New York Times published an article detailing accusations of alleged sexual misconduct by CK against five women. The accusations included CK masturbating in front of a comedy duo in 2002 to, in 2005, asking to masturbate in front a fellow comedian during the filming of a TV pilot. This was jarring, to say the least, as CK positioned himself as a champion of equality from exploring homophobia in Louie to highlighting the issue of transgender rights in Horace and Pete.





In his comedy special, Oh My God CK pleaded: “How do women still go out with guys when you consider that there is no greater threat to women than men?” This is a confusing statement when it’s coupled with the fact that in his movie I Love You, Daddy (which was cancelled because of the accusations) there was a scene where Charlie Day’s character pretended to masturbate in front of a woman.





Facing these two facts together in my head was like forcing two opposing sides of a magnet together. But more than that it taints parts of his comedy as what once were funny and awkward gags becomes eerily painful jokes to watch because, as the audience, we now know it’s based on true events. And just like knowing a horror film is based on a true story makes it scarier, CK’s jokes on these matters become a cringe-inducing event to endure.





CK recently made an appearance on stage at a New York comedy club and reportedly received a standing ovation before his set even begun. His fans have clearly forgiven him. But I haven’t. Not yet. The man I heralded as a comedy genius who put the oddities of culture in a way I never could turned out to be a creep. And because his comedy is so tightly intertwined with his real life it’s hard to look past that.





I do believe people can change; I believe CK could come back. But appearing so soon after the accusations came forward was the wrong choice. In his statement responding to the accusations, he said: “I will now step back and take a long time to listen.”



