Pray for Reese Witherspoon, ya’ll. The Notorious LJP is in mortal danger. No, she didn’t get into it with by the cops again; Reese ran afoul of a cabal of mommy bloggers. May God save her soul. More ruthless than a gang of crooked cops and scarier than a house full of sorority girls during rush, mommy bloggers are not to be fucked with. According to Redbook, Reese made the mistake of her life while giving an acceptance speech for some award.

Redbook reports:

At WSJ Magazine’s 2017 Innovator Awards last week, Reese Witherspoon delivered a powerful speech about sexism in Hollywood and the importance of giving women spaces to share their voices. Yet one throwaway line from her talk on female empowerment has a huge community of women writers up in arms.

Her offending words?

She added that today’s women want real substance and thought-provoking entertainment across all platforms: “And I’m not talking about mommy blogs and 14 ways to cook a turkey.”

Oh, Reese, Reese, Reese. You poor stupid fool. Reese totally seems like the kind of woman who would have been super into mommy blogs for a couple of years until she established supreme dominance in the comments section and ghosted them all. She should know that those women do not play around. Her quip struck a nerve with several prominent parenting/lifestyle bloggers. Reese received at least two “open letters” (that means “death threats” in mommy blogging terms) from bloggers who took umbrage with her dismissal of their contributions and belittlement of their work. Both of those letters referred to Reese as “girl,” which is “you stupid little bitch I will end you” in mommy blogging terms.

One Mom.me writer wrote:

By assuming all the work of mommy bloggers is not a good representation of women, you also minimize the depth and quality of content available online. No, not every blog post is a gem. You can relate, I’m sure. You did star in “Hot Pursuit,” after all.

These women can summon a lot of power and dark energy. Use the pejorative “mommy blogger” and wake up with a bald head, fool! Reese has not responded officially, but she did tweet a picture from a blog called Mommy Wine Time (barf). This was perhaps intended as an olive branch.

No word yet from the folks at Butterball Turkey. It’s possible they have a hit out on Reese too.

Pic: Wenn.com