If you thought Miami got wild for NBA championships and New Year's Eve, just imagine the 305 when Fidel Castro passes: the city's infamous pots-and-pans celebrations will probably involve whole kitchens, and officials' warnings against special occasion gunfire will likely be ignored as usual.

The comandante's eventual death might also turn Miami into a huge, unmanaged mess: Mayor Tomas Regalado told the Miami Herald this weekend that the city's controversial plans to celebrate (er, "gather" after) Castro's death still involve herding partiers to the Orange Bowl in Little Havana -- which was torn down in 2008.

Whoops! With rumors of Castro's ill health swirling -- the former Cuban leader proof-of-life'd himself this weekend to quell whispers of an imminent demise -- city leaders are scrambling to update their preparedness plan (and figure out where they'll sell those themed t-shirts).

But though the logical answer is to send the party to Marlins Park, the 37,000-seat taxpayer-paid stadium that replaced the Orange Bowl on the site of John F. Kennedy's 1961 free Cuba speech and the Mariel boatlift camp, well, Regalado has understandably had enough dealing with the team's skinflint owner, Jeffrey Loria.

"I don't think the Marlins would want that," Regalado told the Herald. "Knowing them, they would charge to protest."

Hat tip: Miami New Times

PHOTO GALLERY Fidel Castro Death Rumors