To celebrate the arrival of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, the movie's overlords and those of Frito-Lay teamed up to birth the largest Doritos chip ever made.

I have one of these bad boys in my possession—I have for about a week now—and something inside told me not to eat it yet. Turns out my gut was right: This thing is not to be eaten, because people are offering up top dollar for it.

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According to my certificate, they only made 100 of these things, and one of them was put up for auction earlier this week by the Dorito Gods themselves in an effort to raise money for the Red Cross.

And that, they did. After 75 bids (10 of them eclipsing $10,000), somebody paid $12,000 USD for the big orange tortilla chip, sitting in a ceramic egg next to my desk as I type this.

The author and his son. Nate Erickson

I'm not necessarily suggesting you reach out to me and make me a monetary offer for the egg. That would be unethical, and probably immoral seeing that you wouldn't be funding a charity, but rather my sneaker and clothing addictions. But I'm not not suggesting that.

For those of you not caked up enough to drop commas on a tortilla chip, Doritos is allowing fans to tweet at them for a chance to win a big ol' Dorito of their own.

Big shout out to Doctor BD Wong for making it happen with is very real science.

Ben Boskovich Ben Boskovich is the Deputy Editor of Esquire, where he also writes about style.

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