n the 18 months before my death, I proceeded to set forth the Keys to Death and Hell. In this process I envisioned a snapshot of the world as it appeared to me at that time. Literally a cutup, a cut and paste sculpture taken from various articles, science fiction, cultural and political events, happenings in the realms of occulture, flame wars on the Zee list, my life, my world, my email etc., so it was just a cut-up of these things.

Somehow, from this cut-up leaked out the most beautiful vision of infinite compassion, and this vision came forth and stood forth even amongst all the horror, it shone through so bright, really true, and undeniably real. There was more compassion and love for me than I had ever dreamed or imagined. It was like a garden paradise all around me, blooming with beauty and love; it was there all the time, this unbelievable garden, and it opened up to me.

My life has been like heaven in so many ways, I am grateful I had an opportunity to see this possibility, and I want to share it with my fellow sentient beings. Even though Death and Hell may look like it is all dark, all black, and all horror, right there, glimmering on the other side is infinite compassion. Right there! The clear light is shimmering through the void. Its not that hard to see if you just open up your eyes and look around.

My life with Andrea (Aggedy), and the love that we were reflecting back and forth between each other is so magnificent and powerful that it was like we were facing death everyday, celebrating our love everyday. We were facing it because that was the way we lived. But for me, maybe it took the imminence of physical death to bring it into full clarity.

As my own death approaches steadily, I am blessed, and deeply moved by the enormous display of affection and love from my daughter Heidi. Heidis love is a limitless ocean that has healed me so much from the pain of life. Though she is young, 17, and losing her Dad, she shows all the signs of blooming into a spectacular woman of insight and compassion. I am surprised and grateful for the outpouring of tenderness. Seeing those around me, and especially my only child, offering me such unconditional love and compassion changes me, heals me, and reaffirms the silent knowledge of my heart.

When my sister Laurie died, she gave me a greater understanding of death, and the communiqués or transmissions that I have received from her, and my grandmother too, reveal much about the after-death state. Though my heart touches many who are in this life still, it reaches also across the boundaries to touch those who have gone before me, their bravery fuels my own. It is in their path of stars and ghostly footsteps that I will walk in.

These are the gifts I take with me, I will go caressed by the kisses of Nuit, I face death without fear. I leave, for this world, the Keys of Death and Hell, to unlock the secrets we keep from ourselves.

But for any who would wonder, or wander lost in Temple Dahmer, I want to declare that the real secret of Deathandhell.com is Infinite Compassion.

Those who know, will know, The Archetypal Theriomorph is in the lotus.

In Eternal Love and Chaos,

Infek bin Laden