Sex and western religion have been tied together for centuries, and not in the fun way. Religion always seems to want to tell us how to screw (the boring way), who to screw (pretty much nobody), and when to screw (only for babies). But there's a reason Jesus has bitchin' abs in all those paintings: Sex and Christianity aren't always mutually exclusive. Even if you really wish they would be, after reading about how ...

5 A Missionary Made Softcore Male Pornography To Promote Mormonism

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Picture a Mormon. There he is, in his white button-up and black slacks, riding a bicycle. Now he's dismounting that bicycle, ripping open his button-up to reveal a set of glistening pecs, those black slacks barely containing his rock-hard ...

What? That's not what everybody pictures? Former Mormon missionary Chad Hardy would like you to reconsider.

Mormons Exposed, via Rolling Stone

So no coffee, tea, or alcohol, but apparently Creatine is still on the table.

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For Hardy, there was nothing hotter than seeing a Mormon perform God's work. That's why he started photographing a bunch of shirtless, hunky missionaries in provocative poses, right alongside pictures of them doing their holy duties. He then published them in a racy calendar titled "Men On A Mission," because it's only legal if you sell it.

Mormons Exposed, via Rolling Stone

... And only sells if you Photoshop the hell out of it.

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Unfortunately for Hardy and "Men On A Mission" -- his membership of muscled Mormons -- Church elders in Las Vegas and Utah had never made the leap from religion to softcore porn, and were so taken aback that they excommunicated Hardy and rescinded his diploma from Mormon school.

Oh no! Now he'll lose his job down at the Mormon Plant.

But it didn't matter to Hardy. He had found his calling: In 2010, he released a calendar titled "Hot Mormon Muffins: A Taste Of Motherhood," which featured a barrage of busty housewives in skintight tops along with their wholesome muffin recipes. Presumably, you supply your own frosting.