Corinne Patrice de Palma

Correspondent

PEAPACK-GLADSTONE - The Willow School conducted a lecture on transgender youth on Jan. 6 to educate parents.

The school holds lectures for its parents throughout the year on ethics and environmental issues. It organized this event, according to Head of School Jerry Loewen, to be a welcoming school community for any transgender student who might be a student at Willow.

“We are proud to be part of an institution that so purposely stands by its ethical commitments, that parents from outside the school have come to know us as a welcoming and inclusive school community," Loewen said when he welcomed the parents prior to the lecture. "In order to foster The Willow School’s community spirit, and in keeping with our ethical approach, we held this presentation to educate ourselves about this topic so that we can support all students.”

Shari Schwartz of Montville conducted the lecture. A clinical social worker, Schwartz regularly presents on transgender youth. She became strongly vested in this topic after becoming the mother of a transgender child.

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“Most transgender children know by (age) 5 their gender of choice," she said, speaking to more than 50 parents and school administrators.

“The difference with a Cisgender child, a person whose gender expressions, gender identity and biological sex all align, as compared to a transgender child, is that a transgender will be persistent, consistent and instant when identifying their gender, which does not align with the gender that was assigned at birth. Some children may blow out their birthday candles wishing or ask the tooth fairy or Santa Claus to grant them their desire to be their identified gender.

“How fitting it is that at the same time I have been asked to present at The Willow School, the virtue discussed this month is courage, because identifying with the opposite gender takes tremendous amounts of courage. Children who identify as transgender risk potential challenges like losing friends and family members. They may be restricted from participating in sports and using public bathrooms. Yet despite all these negatives, these children are still saying this is who I am.”

As part of this, Schwartz discussed disturbing statistics, including the high rate of suicide among transgender children should they not receive proper support.

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“Thankfully, gender clinics have been popping up throughout the country,” she said. “In addition to professional support, communities are willing to be educated and create supportive environments to these children and their families.

“So what can we do to help?” she asked.

“Embrace a transgender child as if it were your own. If activities such as social gatherings and birthday parties are sex segregated, include the child based on their identity. Keep open communication with the parents of a transgender, discussing any concerns or questions you may have in order to ensure that all children are comfortable in their environment. You can make a profound difference.”