Name: George T Conway III.

Age: 55.

Appearance: A teddy bear in a suit.

Aw, how sweet. Don’t get too mushy. He’s a distinguished lawyer who was once in the running to be either US solicitor general, or assistant attorney general of the justice department’s civil division.

What went wrong? He pulled out, saying that the Trump administration is “like a shitshow in a dumpster fire”.

I’m having trouble imagining one of those. I guess it’s something bad. Yes. Conway has called Trump “witless” and his actions illegal. He formed a group of lawyers called Checks and Balances to defend the US legal system from the president’s attacks.

OK, that sounds sensible. It is! On Tuesday, Conway tweeted the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, and suggested Trump should be diagnosed with it.

You mean he hasn’t been? Not so far. The president’s 2020 campaign manager Brad Parscale responded that Conway was simply bitter about not getting a top job in the justice department, and claimed he was jealous of his successful wife. Trump himself called Conway: “A total loser!”

Listen, this sounds fun, but there are already quite a lot people who don’t like Trump. What makes this guy special? Look at his surname.

Wait … is he related to Gerry Conway, the drummer with Fairport Convention? No.

Rob Conway, the wrestler?Wrong again. The successful wife that Parscale mentioned is … Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s own senior adviser, and the campaign manager who got him elected in 2016.

You mean she’s George’s ex-wife? That might explain it. Nope. They’re still married. You may remember Kellyanne as the fabricator of the “Bowling Green Massacre” and inventor of the euphemism of the century, “alternative facts”.

That must be, um … an interesting marriage. Yeah. I guess you could say they’re working through their issues.

Do they ever talk about it? Oh, yes. The Conways spoke to the Washington Post last year, when Kellyanne said of George’s attacks on her boss: “I think it disrespects his wife.”

Yup, I think it does. For his part, George said: “If there’s an issue, it’s because she’s in that job, for that man.”

Well, at least they’re communicating. Yeah. I think it would be difficult not to. “It’s so maddening to watch,” George told CNN yesterday, speaking about Trump’s behaviour. “The mendacity, the incompetence … [I tweet] so I can get it off my chest and move on with my life that day … Frankly, it’s so I don’t end up screaming at her about it.”

Do say: “George! You said you would fill up the car!”

Don’t say: “Sorry, sweetie. That was an alternative fact.”