1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.

Bad: It’s triplets.

Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.

2. Good: Your wife’s not talking to you

Bad: She wants a divorce

Ugly: She’s a lawyer

3. Good: Your son is finally maturing

Bad: He’s involved with the woman next door

Ugly: So are you

4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room

Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there

Ugly: You’re in them

5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids

Bad: You can’t find your birth control pills

Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them

6. Good: Your husband understands fashion

Bad: He’s a cross-dresser

Ugly: He looks better than you

7. Good: You give the “birds and bees:” talk to your daughter

Bad: She keeps interrupting

Ugly: With corrections

8. Good: The postman‘s early

Bad: He’s wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun

Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas

9. Good: Your son is dating someone new

Bad: It’s another man

Ugly: He’s your best friend

10. Good: Your daughter got a new job

Bad: As a hooker

Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients

Way ugly: She makes more money than you do.