With Halloween right around the corner, App State students are looking for costumes that won’t sacrifice style for warmth. There are only 39 weekends in the entire school year to ho down and slut it up, and by God we’re not going to overlook a single one of them. But, with the chill sweeping into Boone, we have to mind our extra bits. Here’s some ways you can do both:

1) Slutty Yosef: Overalls and a cut-off flannel t-shirt. The long white beard will keep those exposed bits covered.

2) Robert E. Lee: Wear a white beard, a confederate flag over your junk, and an old cowboy hat. Someone will probably try to set you on fire, so you’ll stay nice and toasty!

3) Plague Doctor: Everyone will want to know what’s going on under those robes.

4) Janitor: You’re just. . . so . . . dirty. Also, you’re in a full body jumpsuit. So much better for heat retention.

5) Slutty Professor: Actually, this one’s just anxiety inducing. Just looking at the horn-rimmed glasses, tweed shirt, and tartan skirt reminds you of all the exams you’re about to fail and how coming out tonight was such a bad idea.

6) Juul-er: We all know it’s impossible to vape and be hot. But just think. If you could be hot and vape? God. You’d get all the sex.

7) Statue of Doc Watson: You know that guy who goes to parties and plays guitar and he’s just so hot? Well, this is the same idea, but bronze yourself and sit on a bench. There’s no better way to get lit while staying warm than encasing yourself in metal!

8) Slutty East Hall Ghost: Get that handkerchief noose and get drunk in East Hall, avoiding the RAs and scaring the shit out of all the freshmen who happen to get in your way.

9) Jeff Sessions: Who doesn’t find this little toad man sexy??

10) Sanford Mall Preacher: YOU’RE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL ;)) CONFESS YOUR SINS ;)) ALLLLL YOUR SINS ;)))) Father wants to know ;3