Before I start off with this delicious French roast I want to clear up a few misconceptions about myself as this pertains to the article. Regardless of popular belief, my name is actually NOT an American one (surprising, no?). I was born in Bulgaria and moved to the States in 1992 at the wee little age of eight. So when I saw this gem of a story a couple of weeks ago it made my year. Quite possibly my decade.

Originally it was only posted on a single news source so I wanted to wait it out before talking about it here on SOFREP. It was a story just too good to be true and I didn’t want to get caught doing bad journalism. Well behold, my SOFREP readers, this in fact did happen and was confirmed by France’s Defense Ministry!

About a month ago on the night of October 15th, five French citizens found themselves just outside of Pleven, Bulgaria masquerading as “extreme sports enthusiasts.” In reality they were all agents of France’s Directorate-General for External Security or simply DGSE; the French version of the CIA.

They were on a training mission which some theorize revolved around a nearby nuclear power plant. Two of the agents infiltrated via Romania in the North by either a glider or parachute (both accounts are floating around). Their mission as we know it was to rendezvous with three other DGSE agents who flew into the country using fake passports via Sofia International Airport. That’s about as far as they got.

Enter the Tsonev brothers; Slavi and Vasko. The brothers stumbled upon the French intelligence operatives in the middle of the night. Thinking them for thieves out to steal their crops, the two brothers took off and returned with a third man, a retired police officer. The brothers, armed with two wooden boards, and the officer with a 1950s Makarov pistol, surprised the agents and surrounded their vehicle.

Knowing my Bulgarian brethren, the follow-on “scuffle” was unavoidable.

In the end two French agents were shot (one in the foot and the other in the leg) and a third suffered a broken nose. The remaining two managed to escape on foot under the cover of darkness. The unharmed villagers confiscated computers, diving equipment, professional cameras, and even a parachute in the vehicle. After receiving medical treatment and a follow on interrogation by police, the three agents were immediately whisked away on a special flight back to Paris courtesy of the Bulgarian Foreign Ministry.

I can only assume how the After Action Report went back in France:

“Team Leader: Well, Pierre and Jacques were shot in the leg by an old guy with a Makarov, and Francois took a two-by-four to the face. Michel and myself ran away into the woods. And all of our equipment was stolen by two farmers.”

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I can’t wait for the movie.

Iassen, out.