An FAQ; Or, What The Hell Is A Hume?

Q: So what the hell is a Hume?

A: A good question! A Hume is a way to determine the strength and/or amount of reality in a given area. Now, you may have issues with reality being measured this way, and it's certainly a hard concept to grasp. One of the better analogies that can be used to explain this works like this: picture that everything in the universe is covered with a thin layer of sand. This is the baseline level of reality-one Hume. When some of the sand is removed, by any means, there is less sand around, and the level of reality has dropped. When sand is added, there is more reality around. Now, this explanation is highly simplistic, but it helps introduce the concept and gives a nice visual representation. So, using this analogy, Humes just measure the amount of sand in an area. Clear?

Q: But how do we define these things? What are they in relation to?

Another good question! Every measurement has got to be defined in relation to something, and so we devised a way to create a Hume baseline. We created two pocket realities that each contain Scranton Reality Anchors that maintain the Hume levels at an arbitrarily high and low level. These levels have been designated 100 and 0, respectively. It is from these pocket universes that Hume measurements arise.

Q: So how are Humes measured?

A: Via the Kant counter! A Kant counter consists of two portals to the pocket universes discussed above. Using these as a baseline, the Hume level of a localized area can be measured.

Q: Brilliant! Where's your Nobel?

A: As per Foundation policy, outside sharing/recognition of work is impossible. But fear not! We've been compensated more than adequately, and, in addition, we recently got a very favorable Ethics Committee ruling authorizing a mission to speed the progress of outside researchers on the same track as us; meaning that Humes may be present in the world in as little as a few years!

Q: How can Humes help me?

A: If you work with lots of reality benders or reality-bending-based SCPs, you're in luck!

First off, reality benders. These people have a twofer effect on reality. Firstly, reality surrounding them is usually slightly less real than normal. Secondly, their own personal Hume reading is usually a little higher than is normal. The magnitude of the first and second are, of course, related to the relative power of the bender in question. Usually, a low-level reality bender runs at about 75-80/130-150 (Hume level of surrounding area/Hume level of individual; this will be used for all future examples.) Especially in the case of low-level benders, extreme discretion must be used to avoid a false positive on reality benders, as these readings can fluctuate in vanilla humans. For more information, see this lecture on reality benders. It's a huge help. Powerful reality benders, however, usually run at about 40</>300, indicating a large ability to shape reality. Of note is SCP-343. Unlike all other reality benders, it does not exert any influence whatsoever on outside reality. However, its internal Hume reading is astronomically high, registering at an average of 860 Humes (averaged across seven different tests; more ongoing.) This indicates many things, all of which are being heatedly debated by the researchers studying SCP-343. Finally, take the case of SCP-239. Unlike many powerful reality benders, where area of effect, internal, and external Hume readings all are quite large, SCP-239 has an unusual twist. Her area of effect is quite low; only extending to her line of sight and/or imagination (which, while seemingly giving her an infinite area of effect, is really only limited to what she can actually imagine, and thus can be generally ruled out with proper containment.) However, her readings are 30/500, granting her a nearly unlimited ability to shape her local reality as she sees fit. As in the case of 343, the meaning, cause, and containment procedures for this are being debated extensively.

Humes can also be applied to non-human anomalies. For instance, take SCP-2464. The Hume measurement inside both the anomaly as well as SCP-2464-2 have unequivocally confirmed the hypothesis regarding the anomaly, (see the addendum for more information,) allowing for more effective containment. As another case, take SCP-668. This tool perpetually raises the Hume readings within a meter or so of it by approximately twenty Humes when not active. When active, the Hume level rises to astronomical (>670 Hm) levels across all measuring Kant counters, and it is theorized that this effect extends across all known space. Following this realization, 1) more effective containment for SCP-668 was put in place, and 2) immediate monitoring of all Kant counters commenced in order to serve as a warning system for the existence of any more anomalies in the same fashion. Finally, take the example of SCP-2000. To facilitate containment, Scranton Reality Anchors were constructed and deployed. Prior to this, it was not known how or why Reality Anchors operate. Now, we know both how the Anchors work (by keeping local reality at a constant 20 Hm) and why they work (in keeping with the sand metaphor, it works like this: they drain sand from different, nonessential universes to keep the supply of sand in ours steady. It's nothing like that, but the metaphor roughly holds).

Q: Last, but certainly not least, who are you two?

A: Doctors James Caldmann and Carlos Rzewski.

Questions? Confusion? Accusations? Come to FAQ 2, the Electric Boogaloo, where all your Hume-related questions will be answered!