Stephon Gilmore’s reported restructure paves the way for the Patriots to lock kicker Stephen Gostkowski up for the rest of his career.

Local reaction fell short of unchecked enthusiasm. That’s fine. It’s a kicker and if Gostkowski wasn’t retiring, nobody expected him to go somewhere else.

But for card-carrying members of the We Hate Everything Club, the imminent re-signing of Gostkowski is an opportunity. It’s a chance for these runny-nosed pustules to bang their sippy cups on their trays and whine, whine, whine that THIS ISN’T WHAT THEY WANTED!!!

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LOOKIT ME! I’m so hard-bitten, demanding and impossible to please!!! A rollicking success I am and that’s why you can watch me ejaculate misery on Twitter at all hours of the day and night!!

Here’s a sampling of responses to news of Gostkowski making progress toward a new deal:

https://twitter.com/danmateus/status/1108908048825880578

The last guy, he sums it up nicely.

It has been ever thus for Gostkowski. I wrote about it last July, the fatigue a swath of Patriots fans has with him for the sin of not being either A) perfect or B) Adam Vinatieri.

Gostkowski’s prime crime came in the 2015 AFC Championship in Denver when he missed a PAT that the Patriots ended up chasing all game and never could get over in a 20-18 loss.

Inopportune timing? No doubt. They guy also hadn’t missed one since 2006 and set an NFL record for consecutive PATs made. Does that make the guy a gagger? Hardly.

This past season, Gostkowski made 49 of 50 PATs and 32 of 37 field goals. He made all 10 PATs in the postseason and was 5 for 6 on field goals in the playoffs including a 40-yarder that sealed the damn Super Bowl.

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He’s a two-time All-Pro, four-time Pro Bowler who’s made 372 of 425 field goals and 642 of 649 PATs in the 12 regular seasons since 2006. He’s missed just nine of 134 postseason kicks (field goals and PATs) in his career.

Does he give off a bulletproof vibe? No. And even reasonable observers can feel a little uneasy given the recent playoff record of Gostkowski. He’s missed a PAT in Super Bowl 51 and 52 and there’s the Denver miss we all remember.

He also missed field goal attempts in the last two Super Bowls.

How was Hall of Fame-bound, Automatic Adam? He was 26 for 37 on field goals in the postseason with the Patriots and in his last Super Bowl, he missed two field goals. He also drilled the game-winner.

But nobody’s going to come off looking like a genius running down Vinatieri, so I’ll stop right there. The point is, the Patriots couldn’t possibly have done any better at the position than they did when they drafted.

And if you’re complaining that the Patriots were able to reach accord with one of the best kickers in NFL history, feed yourself into a wood chipper.

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