There are few things more shameful than knowing less than a Texan. About two years ago, a Texan coworker came into work with the ubiquitous white cardboard box that every donut and bagel shop uses and gleefully announced, "KOLACHE TIME!" I didn't know what that meant, but like a dog who sees his bowl, I ran for it. I tore the box top open, and inside I saw what appeared to be baseball-sized Hawaiian rolls.

Under normal circumstances, I'd have asked what I was about to eat, but office snacks go fast and there's no time for questions. I tore into it to find it loaded with scrambled eggs and bacon. Quite peculiar, but also delicious.

I had to quickly Google all the details about kolache so the two Texans in my area couldn't outsmart me. I already got made fun of for being the 'food nerd'. Summarizing Wikipedia: a kolach is a Czech pastry made with a semisweet dough that is either filled or flattened and topped. Minnesota and Texas are both big kolache states.

Kolache Factory, a Houston chain, was far enough from my house that I never went on my own—I just relied on my coworker to bring them to me. But then the locally owned St. Louis Kolache opened right around Olive and Lindbergh, closer to where I worked and lived. Dangerous.