Thursday, August 30, 2012 at 12:33AM

Funemployment





It was quiet in the elevator save for the hum of machinery. One of the executives turned to Biff hoping to break the palpable tension a bit.

"Close one sir."

"Only 'cause you ass clowns can't operate a simple elevator," seethed Biff with a cutting glare.

"You handled it quite well sir," squeaked another executive hoping to make an impression.

Biff basked in the compliment and straightened his tie as the elevator door dinged open and he took it upon himself to exit first. "Didn't I?"

Dolores, the executive assistant to Mr. Post, the boss of bosses was standing in the lobby, waiting. There was neither a smile or frown on the lady's face as she looked over her glasses to Biff. "Mr. Hamilton. Mr. Post is waiting in his office."

"How long?" Biff asked with the friendliest tone he could muster. She may not have had the position or pay he did but the woman had the power to turn a man's career into a plummeting, fiery arc with just a word if she felt the need.

"Just arrived."

Biff turned to his elevator mates who met his glance with pleasing grins and fawning attention. "Probably wants to talk 'bout that VP post in Frisco. Thanks Dolores."

Biff extended a gentlemanly arm to let her show the way but she just slipped behind the desk that was home eight hours a day and settled into her chair, shoes vacating her feet before she'd even finished the sentence. "You know the way Mr. Hamilton, I'm sure."

Mr. Post was standing at the window, peering at the greenery below and the man devoid of clothes distracting everyone below. He was an elegant man in his fifties not given to the flashiness of some of his contemporaries. His hands were clasped behind his back, a habit he'd inherited from his father along with the business he ran.

"You wanted to see me sir?"

"Come in Biff, take a seat." He knew what the upstart looked like and didn't feel the need to reinforce the picture in his mind. Besides, the Naked Guy below was strangely fascinating to watch as he ran around avoiding the security personnel with a surprising amount of grace.

"How's it look out there?" Biff asked, thinking it better not to join his boss at the window. He knew his place in the organization.

"Sobering." The sadness of his tone took Biff by surprise. "See the closet behind you?"

The self-anointed Golden Boy automatically turned to the blank wall of paneled hardwood. He couldn't see the door but knew it was there.

"Dad used to keep the walls covered with photos of the houses, cars and families of his employees. Baby picture, graduation pictures, wedding photos. It was like a shrine. He felt responsible for the happiness and well being of everyone in his employ." Mr. Post had turned from the window and slowly settled into the chair behind his desk.

"Somehow that sense of responsibility." He paused, sifting through the different words that raced through his mind, each giving graphic detail to the carnage happening around him. "...has shifted."

Biff seized the opportunity. "We're creating a leaner, meaner, more competitive company by thinning the herd to invigorate the living. Deadheading the dried blossoms to encourage further blooming. This is a good thing." Biff smiled, that was good if he had to say so himself.

Mr. Post studied the young man in front of him. Mid-thirties, ambitious, Ivy-League educated with an MBA and law degree to boot. He had come highly recommended and the board loved him.

Biff's smile crept into hiding as the man studied him a bit before breaking his gaze and drumming the desk with his fingers for a roll or two before the words fell out of his mouth.

"Glad you feel that way."

. . . .

Biff stood in his office and took in the sight. He'd spent weeks picking the wood for the walls and desk personally. The carpet had been pulled up and replaced with something more suitable for a man in his position. The chair was a work of art that drew comments from any visitors who laid eyes on it. He had a bar, a big screen TV and his own personal bathroom hidden behind a wall. He also had a naked man running around outside his window which distracted him long enough for Leticia and Kit to sneak in and make off with a plant and one of his floor lamps.





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