Here's the thing, though: We've all been bamboozled by the colorful misdirection of fancy cars and beautiful, preposterously named women. James Bond isn't the ideal male fantasy -- he's a creepy psychopath who only adheres to whatever moral code suits him best at the moment. And we have the evidence to prove it ...

James Bond has appeared in over 20 movies, a multitude of books, and most impressively, a Nintendo 64 game which taught every child in the 1990s that the most effective espionage strategy is running around your foe in a crazed circle while drunkenly firing a rocket launcher.

7 Moonraker -- Bond Murders Two Scientists For No Reason

Eon Productions

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Back in the '70s and '80s, society's idea of a super-cool spy was a 50-year-old man awkwardly jogging through action scenes and hauntingly pressing his body up against 20-something ingenues, to the erotic delight of absolutely no one.

Yes, we're talking about Roger Moore, who made some of the most ridiculously campy Bond movies. Nobody at the time seemed to notice, presumably because of the welcome distractions of Rubik's Cubes and cocaine. One of the goofiest of Moore's Bond movies was Moonraker, 1979's blatant attempt to cash in on the popularity of Star Wars by sending James Bond into space. In the movie, Bond stumbles upon a secret lab owned by Hugo Drax, a famous billionaire who's secretly an evil villain.

Eon Productions

With Roger Moore, it is admittedly elegant stumbling.

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Bond's not exactly sure what the two scientists are up to, so when they leave the room, he sneaks for a closer look.

Eon Productions

"Doesn't look alcoholic ... damn."

Now, Bond's not a scientist (unless you count excessive drinking and spreading venereal disease as a "science"), so it's no surprise that he can't figure out the chemical properties of a solution by simply picking it up and staring. So instead of, say, taking a couple of vials back to Q for analysis, 007 opens one of the vials and leaves it standing in a precarious position before dashing secretively out of the room.

Eon Productions

"This is going to be hilarious!"

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Not surprisingly, when the scientists come back, they knock over the vial ...