Just as Melbourne sets for launch on its annual White Night festival this weekend, Sydney have boldly announced what appears to be a last-minute counter-festival in an attempt to take the wind out of Melbourne’s sails.

NSW Premier, Mike ‘Fun Police‘ Baird said the new festival will be happening at exactly the same time as tomorrow’s White Night event and although it won’t have the artistic and cultural scope that the Melbourne event has, the premier maintains that ‘there is still a whole lot of fun things to cater for everyone.’

With the lockout laws controversy in full swing, some commentators have suggested that there is actually no festival and that an angry Baird government are taking it a step further by simply switching all the lights off as punishment.

When questioned further around why no programme has been released, and not a shred of marketing has been seen, Baird was vague and evasive and responded:

“Back in my day, we used to make our own fun. It’s lights out at 9:30pm. No ifs or buts.”