Here at The Arkansas Project, we like to keep you apprised of potential threats to your health and safety. For instance, the extraordinary danger of alleged “jokes” on coffee cups.

Now, there are some extremists out there who will go so far as to attempt to defend the presence of subversive ideas on coffee cups. Those people have the nerve to argue that such coffee cups are meant to be humorous — even to make light of the coffee addiction that many Americans (including myself) are victim to. Luckily, a herd of attorneys general across the country have thundered in, explaining that controversial coffee-cup jokes are no laughing matter. In fact, in a letter to the manufacturer of these cups, they said:

These products are not in any way fun or humorous but make light of this rampant problem. We invite you to pull these products from your shelves and join with us to fight prescription drug abuse.

The letter not-so-subtly reminds the manufacturer (Urban Outfitters, Inc.) that these AGs have been engaged in “prosecution and outreach” to stop the abuse of prescription drugs. By golly, they’re not playing around! It seems the reminders worked: earlier this week, Ohio Watchdog reported that Urban Outfitters has caved in to the pressure from the AGs and pulled this inherently hazardous and offensive product from its shelves.

Arkansans can be proud knowing that Arkansas Attorney General Dustin McDaniel was one of the AGs who boldly asserted that there is absolutely nothing funny about these coffee cups. The Arkansas Project contacted his office several times yesterday, hoping to learn more about whether his responsibility to pronounce upon what is and isn’t “fun or humorous” is one of his constitutional, or merely one of his statutory, duties. We have not received a response to our inquiries.

Thank goodness Americans are blessed with 23 attorneys general who believe it is their job to act as “comedy cops” in order to dictate what should and shouldn’t be joked about.

But in all seriousness, as a freedom-loving American, I don’t find their posturing in any way funny.

(And if anyone needs an idea for a birthday gift for me — it’s coming up next month, as I’m sure you know — it looks like there are still a few of these mugs available for sale!)

*DISCLAIMER: This story is intended in no way to be insulting or demeaning to anyone other than Dustin McDaniel. The Arkansas Project does not condone the abuse of prescription drugs. The above picture is an actual prescription coffee cup produced by Urban Outfitters, Inc. next to a picture of Attorney General McDaniel. The pictures have been conjoined for purposes of humor only, using the popular software “Photoshop.” Readers of The Arkansas Project should not assume that Attorney General McDaniel abuses any prescription drugs or that he is — in any way — in possession of a sense of humor. Any letters from attorneys general in reference to this article run the risk of being published and subsequently mocked. Proceed at your own risk.

UPDATE, 10:08 a.m.: Less than five minutes after posting this story, and one day after I called the AG’s office three times to ask them about this matter, I received the following email from the AG’s office:

Prescription drug abuse is an epidemic in Arkansas and across the country. About one in five high school seniors in Arkansas have abused prescription drugs. The Attorney General is committed to fighting this serious problem. The line of products sold by Urban Outfitters made light of the problem and its dangerous consequences, so the AG joined with his colleagues from across the country in a bipartisan request for the company to stop selling the products. He appreciates the company’s decision to discontinue the line.

I will trust readers of this blog to draw their own conclusions about whether jokes about caffeine dependency are best met with a coordinated response from law enforcement officials in 23 states to humorlessly “request” that a coffee cup which allegedly “makes light of prescription drug abuse” should be taken off the market.