After a last-ditch effort to repeal key parts Obamacare was shot down in a dramatic late-night vote in July, congressional Republicans are reportedly eying a new health care strategy: Maintain and Rename. Leading the effort are Senators Dean Heller (R-NV) and Marco Rubio (R-FL).

“As of now, the plan is pretty much copy and paste Obamacare into a word doc and replace the title with The President’s name, a second-grade adjective, and the words ‘health care’.” Said Heller. “We’ll have him sign it. There’ll be a round of applause, pictures, a party in The Rose Garden, and, if all goes to plan, three or four tweets from @realdonaldjtrump calling me ‘a terrific guy’ in the days that follow.”

“This is the exact kind of self-serving, wimpy bullshit I’m into.” Said Rubio. “Anytime I can do something weird and easy and frame it as a victory for my constituents, I’m in.”

While the new plan is not without risk, Republicans are betting on The President’s aversion to reading to secure a much-needed victory.

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