By Situation Theatre 19/1/2016

Canberra residents were treated to a glorious spectacle today as thousands of staff from the Australian Border Force marched around Lake Burley Griffin in honour of Dear Leader Peter Dutton.

The $100 million parade also commemorated a magnificent first six months for the rebranded immigration bureaucracy. It kicked off in lavish style last year with $10 million dollars spent on spiffy new uniforms, badges, buttons, safety helmets and mean signs at airports. The idea of course being to teach those imprisoned Nauruan children with tattered shirts and broken thongs what expensive clothing looks like.

Always keen to show Australians and asylum seekers what not to do, in August 2015 the Border Force beautifully exhibited what fortitude isn’t by abandoning Operation Fortitude within hours of its announcement. The botched exercise in racial profiling on the streets of Melbourne had the added benefit of demonstrating that while the Border Force is really tough on asylum seekers, it’s scared shitless of Twitter.

More recently the new department realised they better buy $1.3 million dollars worth of bright shiny things for staff to distract them from their own complicity in imprisoning thousands of innocent people indefinitely in remote Pacific camps and exposing them to extreme sexual, mental and physical abuse.

See highlights of the 2016 Border Force Parade here: