WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Melania Trump said on Monday that she did not understand the controversy swirling around James Comey’s new memoir, because the book she is writing is “so much meaner.”

Speaking to reporters at the White House, she said that she had obtained an advance copy of Comey’s book because she “couldn’t wait to read it,” but said that she found its tone and contents disappointingly mild.

“It felt like he was pulling his punches,” she said. “No one will say that when they read my book.”

She said that, as a fellow-author, she had sympathy for Comey. “Clearly, he was trying very hard to be nasty, and he deserves credit for effort,” she said. “But I will show him how it is done.”

When reporters expressed surprise at the news that Trump was writing a book, she replied, “I am alone much of the time. That is ideal for a writer. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I must get back to my desk.”