A fancied up version of pretty beat ’em up Castle Crashers [official site] is in the works, we’ve known for a while, but less clear was quite how it was coming to PC. Aye, Castle Crashers Remastered will obviously be a new standalone game on that new Xbag, but how will we lot on our Professional Cogitators receive the higher framerates and nicer textures and all that? Calm yourself, chum: it’ll all simply be an update, the game’s developers The Behemoth have announced. They explain:

“We’re currently developing a Steam update of Castle Crashers Remastered that will incorporate the increased frame rate and behemoth texture sizes and almost all the other cool enhancements that we recently released on Xbox One. We’ve even included the new, super fun, multiplayer mini-game, Back Off Barbarian!”

What it won’t include is the DLC that’s bundled up in the Xbab version – that’ll still be sold separately, just as ever. As for when the update will launch, The Behemoth say “we should be done by the end of the year, Dad said so!” And if you want the rundown on why the different names and versions and updates, I realise this may be obvious to some, but none of us were born with an innate understand of game development so:

“Here’s the poop: on consoles, every time we upgrade from ‘this generation’ to the ‘next generation’, the hardware will drastically change. For the most part, because of these changes, games are not compatible between generations** so developers like us need to rewrite the code to make it work on the new machine. To avoid confusion, developers add stuff like ‘HD!’ ‘Remastered’, ‘Gold Edition’ to differentiate between the versions. But what about our favorite thoroughbred workhorse, the PC? Well, since the CPU architecture is not changing, a new version is not required. We just need to post an update to what is already there. So we don’t need the “Remastered” any more… let’s all strike though Remastered together!. Yay, wasn’t that easy? Castle Crashers… the one and only. (Sorry, no new game name for you Steam… but don’t worry, you get all the new toys too!)”

I’m glad it’s simply an update. I’ve always said they were a nice lot, The Behemoth. So well mannered. Always take their shoes off at the front door – without being asked or even asking.