King Diamond Royally Fucks Japan

Imagine a King Diamond thrusting his Viagra hard, uncut Danish schwantz deep in your bone dry ass, again and again despite your best efforts to clench and stop him. Imagine having never seen it coming. Imagine the pain, the effect it would have on your self esteem, how hard it would be to talk about it, how hard it would be to sit down. Imagine how hard it would be to use a toilet that didn't have a washlet feature after the fact ( like outside of Japan).

Imagine being raped with 37,000 others while the men in suits laugh,blame and mock you.





Imagine all that and then tell me if you still think that somehow that the poor fucking survivors could have done something to avoid being raped.

Rape is not the end of the world. I agree that women and men who are raped can move on with their lives, but what you must realize is that it's not going to be easy and you'll need time to heal.

English translation: Dear fans, Fuck you very much! Surprise! I ain't coming and no refunds either. Creativeman tried their hardest to get me to come but I am one stubborn cunt. In Hell, King Diamond.

W hen foreign artists jabber on about how much they love Japan and the Japanese fans, what they are really saying is they love the money they make in Japan. Some lame foreign bands like Mr. Big even make a living from Japan. Yet Japan gets fucked by the greedy music promoters year after year. The first ever Ozzfest Japan last May was overly stocked with weak local bands that saved scandalous Japanese promoter Hayashi International Promotion (H.I.P.) a fortune. Black Metal fans from all over Japan had been waiting months to see their hero, King Diamond, for his first ever Japanese appearance at an otherwise completely lame Loud Park 2013.

He canceled one day before, leaving the cheated fans shocked, angry and heartbroken. Flights, trains and hotels were booked months in advance. Days off were scheduled and romantic rendezvous were arranged. Infamous Japanese promoter, Creativeman, had a clause in their ticket contract stating no refunds would be given if any artists canceled- this is understandable for big festival shows like Fuji Rock or SummerSonic- where many big artists appear every year. This makes sense as no one artist is really responsible for a bulk of the ticket sales. A little something for everyone can draw a nice, diverse crowd. But, Loud Park 2013 literally had no other acts that could even draw 500 to 1000 Japanese fans in a much smaller venue.

Fans react to the MC's announcement that King Diamond hopes they enjoy the guitar stylings of Yngwie J. Malmsteen, the new headliner.

Japanese festival promoters also had a clause in their contract with King Diamond not to pay him if he didn't play for any reason whatsoever. By cunningly canceling the appearance they pocketed hundreds of thousands of dollars. But we can't only blame the shifty Japanese promoter, King Diamond is also a prick for promotion and a lap dog without a conscience.

The true Black Metal fans who bought their tickets in advance were now going to see a 60 year old Yngwie Malmsteen. The washed up, overly technically skilled guitarist is not only mind numbingly boring to listen to, he is also well known as being the third biggest douchebags in metal (after Danzig and Lars). If there is a pecking order of narcissistic musicians, it's there he reigns supreme. The not happening since 1989, Neo-Classical Metal guitarist from Sweden was added to the bill only for air guitar playing dorks, who swoon over him the same way the gay community worships Lady Gaga. He has no business headlining the biggest Heavy Metal festival in Asia. Many fans who didn't use social media found out about the cancelation when they arrived at the venue. The show must go on!

Voices from Loud Park 2013

Rensuke Isogai, (32 )Salaryman from Osaka

"At least there were some fuckable metal sluts this year."

No King Diamond and the opening act was shitty Metal Clone X, they're famous cause Marty Friedman from the Young Frankenstein movie in it. Who cares? I don't know what to say. I feel like I've been raped. I know how women feel now. Women at shows must not do anything to inspire men's lust. They must dress conservatively. They must avoid offensive language. They must avoid immoral places- like this or places where alcohol is consumed. Then, if the woman does these things anyway, the response is, 'Well, what did she expect?' Male metal fans, apparently, can't control themselves, so the women must. This Loud Park is the bullshit of the year. I'm calling it rape. And so we pass this on to our perception of rape. If a woman isn't conservative and modest, she is asking for it. She, on some level, was looking to be raped or toying with the idea of being raped? Are we to blame on some level.

You know Last In Line? That's Dio without Ronnie James Dio! Turns out he's dead. Died like three years ago. This whole day is bullshit, man. After today I can relate to women more. Creativeman is one shady as fuck company. The King wrote on his website that they canceled the show. He wanted to play and they wouldn't shell out a million yen to get his equipment to Japan from the port in China. They wanted him to play some stripped down acoustic set or something. He said that he refuses to play a note unless his full theatrical stage show is in place. We, the long suffering metal fans of Japan lose. The Japanese are a resilient people and we think differently. We persevere, manage stress and triumph in the face of challenges. We Japanese must heal and come back stronger next year.

Yurie and Okinori "OK" Kaya (24 & 42) Newlyweds from Hakodate

The May-December couple flew down from Hokkaido to find out their hero wasn't coming.

Okinori:

We must look like assholes to Europe and North America. They get Wacken,Rocklahoma and Heavy MTL. We get this shit? Yngiwe being the default headliner!?! The first thing that comes to mind is 'self indulgent', why would we Japanese black metal fans ever want to listen to that musical masturbation? To me part of music is the creation of something someone with no knowledge of musical techniques should be able to enjoy. That's not to say that one doesn't need an acquired taste to enjoy many of the more sophisticated genres.

Yes, he can sweep pick, play 16th notes at 240 bpm, string skip and what not. Its fun for him to play fast for a while here and there, but to us listeners it is pure shit. He should only use those skills for music if they serve the artistic vision, not just showing off. No one except for the thirty or so nerds here jamming out on air guitar give flying fuck. It's going to take a while for us to get over this. Don't even get me started on Baby Metal. Oy vey! My new bride,Yurie has been studying Mercyful Fate and the King's CDs since August. We'll need to heal good long time.

Lovely Yurie:

We were basically raped. There is no excuse for that and it is absolutely not our fault. We are not guilty, tainted, or bad. We did not to anything that allowed Creativeman and King Diamond to violate trust; If a woman had been too tipsy to fight it off and a man had assaulted her, you wouldn't accuse her of asking for it for being drunk or break up with her for being a whore, so society shouldn't do the same to us.

We all got fucked. Music Festival rape is a serious issue and we deserve to be loved and healed. Don't perpetuate a stereotype just because you're afraid of how others will respond. You don't need to tell your family, your Twitter and Facebook friends, your coworkers, or anyone else - but we do need to get it out of our systems and find a way to heal from it, and we should not be expected to do that alone. We need to be safe, and be good to ourselves. We deserved better. We need to heal.

Other artists like Marty Friedman, took time to slag off King Diamond and his impotence by showing pictures of his manhood and mocking his heart condition.

Kuniaki Koiso, (39) Taxi Driver from Tokyo

Kuni and his best friend, Kenji (34) both lost a weekends pay thanks to Creativeman and King Diamond.

I'm pretty fucking angry right now. My friend has drunken himself into a stupor. We've been saving up our shifts from work to be able to get a weekend off to go up here for the weekend for this. I had to swap a bunch of shifts and kiss a lot of ass to get a Saturday and Sunday off. Why? To see Yngwie fucking Malmsteen? Yngwie is a total asshole. His ego is big enough so that it could almost collapse upon itself forming a black hole. I remember reading an interview with him years ago in Metal Hammer, and he slagged off every guitarist out there except Ritchie Blackmore for some reason. We Japanese don't like talking trash. I live for metal. No metal no life! He may be impotent but King Diamond is the King of Black Metal, Yngwie is a masturbator.

Even Kuniaki's cab is metalish.

Last year's Loud Park was pretty mint, but fucking Yngwie J. Malmsteen headlining now? He is a pretentious, venomous bag of shit that is so foul that you can literally see the sewer fumes coming off of him. His hatred of guitarists that are more talented than him is matched only by his resentment of most of his own fans- particularly the Japanese. A backstage pass to a concert of his is a tedious and soul-crushing episode, like watching smoke from a book burning taint a cloudless sky.









Don't speak to the police. Speak to an attorney. If you can't get a free consultation with someone, it's worth it to buy an hour of time to get someone to give you professional advice about your legal risks and the potential outcomes in your jurisdiction of any of the situations people have mentioned. I drive a lot of lawyers home late at night and they taught me a thing or two about the legal system.

( Edit: Do not rely on your own analysis of your risks when it comes to something like reporting the incident, and certainly don't rely on Raretreats. You'll need to talk to someone who is licensed in your area and can tell you exactly what's at stake legally.)



As for Yngwie, he's a balding, fat hack who learned how to play all the notes, but simply could not learn to play the music. I would have walked out but I was meeting up with some people at the end so I had to wait around.”







Isamu Yokoyama, 35 Coffee shop manger from Nagasaki

The portly Iron Maiden fan is trying to make the best of a shitty situation.

The metal gods must have it in for me. Last year I flew to Brazil for the Metal Open Air event and Venom, Saxon, Gene Simmons and like 30 other bands I went for didn't show up. I did get to see Megadeth, so that was cool. Don't even ask me how much I spent on heavy metal music. Based on my ATM withdrawals history it was over $50,000. Can we not add the overpriced t shirts and other assorted accessories and the cost of going to Loud Park every year since 2006? That's train fare to Tokyo, hotels and unpaid leave from my jobs over the years too. My investments were the only thing that kept my love for heavy metal fresh, but ultimately left me with a bitter experience.



In general I have a pretty negative view on King Diamond now. I personally found the cock pics they showed to be in bad taste, there were a lot of young girls here for Baby Metal, you know. And, as far as my fellow headbangers are concerned, I would even go so far as to say a large percent of non impotent headbangers would be natural rapists if our culture didn't tell them that was a bad thing to do. Greedy, Japanese promoters and Danish Black Metal legends with bad hearts are selfish, ignorant, and some just don't care about how their actions effect the fans.