Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.

There are things that aren't the airlines' fault.

But airlines are presented with limitations, some of which they can't overcome.

One of those limitations is the annoying habit of humanity to do things for no good reason.

For example, hanging around the boarding gate without any hope that they'll get on a plane within the next hour.

Airlines have tried all sorts of ways to ease boarding congestion.

Some say that the most successful is Southwest's numbering system, in which passengers are left to stand in a specific order.

It relies on an honor system, a hope and faith that passengers are standing in the order assigned to them -- and how many people are truly honorable?

For its part, United Airlines seems to have become frustrated with its current system of five chutes and hundreds of milling people.

So it's trying something new. Simplified lanes.

Did I detect an involuntary spasm within you, one that always occurs when a company offers simplicity?

Still, United says it's going to offer just two lanes.

Will it be asking passengers to fight their way through, in a Hunger (to Board) Games frenzy?

No, it's going to be asking passengers to behave in a civilized manner.

The idea is that passengers should remain seated until their group is called.

Ah.

Oh.

This is eminently sensible, but blessed with what may be an intractable problem.

Passengers just won't sit down.

They're so anxious to get on the plane that they want to be the first in their group to pass through.

They believe that hovering as close as possible to the gate allows them to achieve this.

Which leads to the usual clogged boarding area and its attendant chaos.

In any case, if they all just behave and sit, won't there be an unseemly rush as they all dig for victory?

"Fewer lines will create more space and easier access to the boarding door for customers exiting the plane from the previous flight and during pre-boarding," United says.

United is surely correct. In theory.

I'll be fascinated to see, though, whether passengers comply or become increasingly irritable.

Of course, it's possible that a sudden calm will descend, as passengers see the wisdom in waiting their turn.