Somewhere along the way, pornographers got the idea that people only liked on-camera coitus if it had a believable back story. And, after a few decades struggling to find good actors willing to do it on camera, the industry came up with the concept of reality porn. So today there's a huge selection of videos that claim to capture real random girls tricked into having sex via some set of convoluted circumstances. But apparently, the good ideas for reality porn were taken pretty quickly, and as you'll see, at this point they're kind of scraping the sides of the jar. We have censored the pictures to make them vaguely work-safe. Advertisement

10 BigSausagePizza.com It's been known since the days of the Kama Sutra that nothing gets a woman quite as aroused as a man whose dick is encrusted in bits of rubbery mozzarella cheese. Thus, the team of physicists who crafted the perfect website, Big Sausage Pizza, were really onto something when they found a way to mix the thrill of eroticism with the greasy smell of deep dish. Every encounter features an unsuspecting young lass ordering a pizza, then when it arrives, opening the box to discover the delivery man's wang jammed through the bottom of both the box and the pizza. Continue Reading Below Advertisement The woman is always surprised by this, though the positioning of the rest of the man's body in relation to the box probably should have cued her in. Either the poor man has gotten the box glued to his groin somehow, or he has his boner poked through there. The presence of the camera crew should probably have alerted her that something wasn't on the level either way. Most Shameful Moment: The teaser photos in which we're forced to acknowledge that the deliveryman, resembling a curious sort of Vince Vaughn meets Forrest Gump, is actually firmly rooted in what is not at all a delivery pizza, and is instead some manner of frozen personal pan cheese shit since the producers are too cheap to shell out for real pizza each time. Continue Reading Below Advertisement

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9 CaptainStabbin.com When you think of the high seas, your mind probably drifts through thoughts of sea salt, whale song and sodomy. If it doesn't, you've never been on a Carnival cruise, nor have you visited Captain Stabbin', the Internet's one-stop shop for all your house boat and backdoor fantasies.

See, he's going to put his dick there. You've just been caught up on Captain Stabbin'. Continue Reading Below Advertisement The concept of the site really doesn't flesh out much beyond "bum love on a boat," with random girls meeting the boat's captain and being summarily rutted in a variety of ways. Though, there is the tasteful addition of each girl being tossed overboard once her poop deck's been swabbed, where they are presumably eaten by sharks. These are cautionary tales, indeed. Most Shameful Moment: Pervasive and continued reference to the boat as "SS Stabbin." Really, girls, when you saw that on the bow an anal defiling was really the best case scenario.

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