Fat Women Aren't Appreciated

As a fat woman, I've experienced the extreme shallowness that exists in our society. I'm speaking from years of experience, and believe me when I say: I'm fat. I often mention that I'm fat to my students and they usually reply, "You're not fat!” I laugh because I know I'm fat, and that's ok. If you're wondering why I haven't done anything about it, I have! Unless you've been fat before, i.e. 50 or more pounds overweight, you don't have a clue as to how difficult it is to lose that much weight. I've lost 100 pounds before, but due to the fact that I am a stress eater living a stress-filled life, I have gained it back plus more.

However, just because I'm fat doesn't mean that I'm totally unattractive—at least not in my eyes! I've been told many times, "You're pretty.” Yes, I know I have a pretty face. And, yes, I always take care of myself by waxing, getting pedicures and manicures, etc. This doesn't change the fact that, according to our society, being fat means you are ugly.

Men certainly do not find fat women attractive. The excuse I have heard my entire life is that they are visual creatures. Then men wonder why they can't find a nice girl who will be their confidante or best friend and more. You can't find someone like that if you are constantly judging a woman on her weight before considering her other qualities. Give the fat girls a chance! We may have extra cushioning, but we can do everything the skinny or average woman can—maybe even better.

I don't want to generalize fat or thin women, but I find that fat women often have more of an appreciation for food. Go figure! Most men also have an appreciation for food. You’ve heard the saying, "The fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach"? I think this is true. Every man I've dated has appreciated my amazing baking and cooking skills, and if you asked them what they miss about me, they would probably first say, "Her tacos and burritos.” Well, you would think maybe this would keep them, but sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you would imagine.

All I know is that men need to change their perception of fat women and give us a chance. Men need to stop being so obsessed with looks and dig deeper into who a person is. I recently joined an online dating site, and so far all I've attracted are men my father's age or older. Yuck. I think you are much more compatible with someone within a few years of your own age. Maybe that's my own shallowness rearing its ugly head! But my takeaway from this online dating situation is that it proves to me that men just don't like fat women.

Just to prove this theory of mine, I posted pictures of myself when I was not so fat. The elephant in the room is the statement I make in the "What are your personal goals" section. I state that I'm overweight and one of my personal goals is to lose weight and get healthy. This is what men read before they run!!!! If you're a man, stop acting as if you've never done this. Face the truth and stop blinding yourself. You are shallow!

To make things worse, the site I joined is a Christian dating site, and I thought Christian men would be less shallow. Goes to show you that being a Christian doesn't impact a person’s shallowness. This is quite depressing to me as a Christian myself.

Before I end this Hub, I do have to mention that I did get a man who wasn’t my father’s age send me some instant messages! Yes, I thought, someone is interested in me for more than my looks.

Go figure the guy was a complete weirdo.

I think the solution to meeting a man is to either lose weight or give up on men and become a nun or lesbian.

Just kidding! I love the shallow idiots.

In a Nutshell: Be Confident

Sorry if you’ve heard it before, but it’s true. If confidence doesn’t come naturally, just recall some of the women who are heavy and beautiful. Adele, Queen Latifah, Kristie Ashley, Aretha Franklin, Dascha Polanco, and Missy Elliot, just to name a few. Channel any or all of these divas. If you need help seeing more models that look like yourself, check out the blogs such as The Curvy Fashionista or Fuck Yeah Chubby Fashion!. Last but not least, practice self acceptance. That critical voice in the back of your head? Turn it off. Be gentle with yourself over any mistakes, and never lose sight of the things about your life you love.

Maintain Perspective

The second most important piece of advice is to maintain your perspective. A real perspective, not one propagated by the media. According to the CDC, over 1/3 of Americans are obese. The average weight for women is 166 pounds and the average waist of a woman is 37.5—a size 18. This is the average, which means that a good number of people are above that. Does this mean that 1/3 of Americans never find love, or that the American woman of average weight or above is doomed to spinsterhood? The answer is of course not. They find a way to happiness—it’s just not advertised on television and in magazines. So will you.

Don’t Take Weirdos Personally

I sometimes file this under maintaining perspective. Don’t take weirdos personally, especially online. If you are hanging out on the subway or at the airport, what percentage of the men that you see would you want to date? Definitely less than one out of ten. So don’t begin examining your self worth when any of the other nine out of ten talk to you. Ignore them and keep meeting new people. On the flip side, don't take rejection personally. Again, keep perspective, and follow the same protocol—ignore them and keep meeting new people.

The first battle to fight is internal. Believe me, I know the hardship of battling through weirdos without becoming a nun. Remember: you are not in the minority, and divas come in all sizes.

Books

Bubba on April 27, 2020:

I’m a Christian man and shallowness has nothing to do with it. Studies prove you are attracted to a mate with the same body type as your mother.

barry on March 02, 2020:

looks like years of indoctrination have erased what is basic biological evolutionary fact.

almost all mammals CHOSE the best they find from amongst the opposite sex and they are relentlessly programmed for this in order to produce healthy successful offspring.

when status women start dating unemployable scrawny short retarded men,THEN you can start throwing the word "shallow" around. this world is far more brutal to men ,often just for how they were born, while you can just say"well, bad genes shouldn't breed".

Trev on November 24, 2019:

It has nothing to do with shallowness. It's biology. Men are programmed to be sexually attracted to healthy, fertile women. Women are attracted to strong confident men who look like they'll be able to provide for a family.

Obesity is extremely unhealthy and usually results in life being cut very short and a multitude of health problems. I lost sixty pounds ten years ago and kept it off. I'm now 6'2" and 195 pounds and I actually have a slow thyroid which I get pills for. It just takes the will and discipline to do it.

Bob on October 05, 2019:

I married my wife 30 years ago and she weighed 102 pounds the day we got married and gained 3 pounds a year! If you marry a 175 women and she gains 3 pounds a year....you get the picture!

Joe Blow on July 17, 2019:

If you are overweight at 30 years old, how much will you gain in 20 years ? Are there articles encouraging men to remain jobless in an effort to attract a women ? NO ! Women should not be obese and try to better themselves to attract a man. Men also want a good personality. These articles are a sham and fat women of all ages need to know this.

frank on May 15, 2019:

So because you're fat, men have to change and date you. You dictate to men its their problem if they don't find you attractive, that they have to change and force themselves to find fat women appealing as a sexual partner/potential wife.

Wow. Maybe it's not your being fat that is keeping men away from you.

Jonathan, on May 09, 2019:

I think your kidding yourself. I was over weight and women found me less atractive then when I was fit. That is the way it was. I decided having a chance to date more attractive, healthy and in shape women is what I desired. So, I had to walk the walk. I changed my diet and exercised even when I was sore and tired. I still do almost everyday.

If you find a guy who does not mind the weight then great. I know there is more to a woman then looks. But dont kid yourself. Women start with the looks before they consider most other qualities. That is the way it is and the way it will always be.

I have heard this before from fat women. He should love me for who I am. Your right ! If that guy doies not mind a fat women then great but dont expect a man who respects his health and willing to stay in shape to want to date a fat women. In most cases he wont.

TY comment section on February 04, 2019:

This comment section literally restored my faith in humanity.

SomeRandomGuy on November 20, 2018:

"All I know is that men need to change their perception of fat women and give us a chance."

Why do I need to give any fat women a chance? I like what I like, and fat isn't it. I choose a partner based on what I want, and not on what YOU need. You are not entitled to any man's attention.

Truth Really Is on August 11, 2018:

The very funny thing is that most women nowadays really believe that they're better than anyone else, and most of them are very obese since they really think they're so gorgeous too. They have the worst attitude problem and no manners at all when it comes to men. And they have such a very incredible big list of demands when finding a man. Men must have a full head of hair with no baldness, be very good looking, very excellent shape with no body fat, a very great career making a six figure salary, own a million dollar home, and drive a very expensive fancy car as well. That is quite a list of demands they have for us men now considering that most of these women are real golddiggers to begin with, and not all that attractive as they think they really are. And they have the nerve to insult many of us men too. These women need to just get a cat for a pet and grow old all alone with it. And then they wonder why so many of us good men are still single today.

Bill on August 11, 2018:

So, if a fat guy wanted to date you, you'd be totally open to it? Remember....he may be a good person with many interest and hobbies, a good job, and overall gentleman. Looks are shallow!

camilla on July 04, 2018:

Stop asking men to like what they don't..stop with this fat acceptance...men like beauty..they have been created this way..what you are asking is not a man..it's an angel..yes some fat women are nice but some are not..yes some merely fat women are pretty but most of fat women are not pretty because fat does harm the body and the face. As an ugly yet fit woman I don't criticize men just because they don't want me..rejecting a woman for a few extra pounds is shallow..not being attracted to fat women is not.

Elite on June 11, 2018:

I find a lot of my fiancé middle aged friends are looking at women half their age and way out of their league. It would totally make sense if they either were just as attractive or had money but when you don’t have either try dating women your age about your size and within your league instead of mopping around sulking. My fiancé is funny, driven and is not the hottest but his love for me and personality are out of this world. I just feel bad when I say I have a friend who would be perfect for his friend and the first thing he ask is how does she look cause his friends only date thin women who look half their age.

lol on March 22, 2018:

"I've lost 100 pounds before, but due to the fact that I am a stress eater living a stress-filled life, I have gained it back plus more."

You could say I am fairly muscular ripped guy with really bad genetics (i would get fat intantly if i souldnt be eating right and i love food) these are just lazy ass excuses.And If youre weak minded and cant face your own stress without eating like a pig then youre not gonna be interesting to us not even from the "inside".

"All I know is that men need to change their perception of fat women and give us a chance."...lol, so there are two options...one is for MEN TO CHANGE WHAT WE LIKE and second is for you to stop eating hamburgers. Yea right.

Perhaps you should stop blaming everyone else for not beeign attracted to you and rather work on yourself.

Would I avoid dating a chick just beacuse shes fat? Absolutely, I dont find that shit attractive and since I am taking care of myself why should my expectations for a girl be any lower?

Hough

Ellie on March 12, 2018:

Men can't help who they find attractive any more than I can help which guys I'm attracted to. I don't find overweight men attractive. I am happy to have overweight male friends, but jumping into bed with them is a whole different story and most people consider sex an important part of a relationship. I make an effort to stay slim and healthy (more effort than most, as I have a broken thyroid), so I expect the same of a potential partner. I don't think it is an unreasonable expectation to be physically attracted to a man I want to share a bed with. I don't expect a six pack or a model face, but having enough self discipline to stay slim and healthy is a basic requirement for me. I don't think it's right to shame people for not wanting to sleep with people that are not attracted to. I wouldn't shame a gay man for not being attracted to women or shame a 20 year old for not being attracted to a 60 year old. The chemistry is either there or it isn't.

Anonymous on March 06, 2018:

While I don't think being rude is a good way, but acting like people HAVE to be attracted to a certain demographic is a bad and destructive idea. Women shouldn't be forced to date fat men, nor should men be forced to date fat women. While yes people can be shallow and love in general is very problematic, this isn't a healthy thinking of forcing people to love another group. How would homosexuals feel if they were pressured by someone to love someone they didn't? This is the problem with that idea of "all bodies are beautiful."

FreeThinker on February 28, 2018:

Dear Frustrated,

You ARE worth something - now and always. Society is a strange thing. If one studies history, thin women were thought to be "ugly" at one time while the women with more padding were seen as attractive because they were "affluent." I know plenty of people that exercise and eat right and are not supermodel thin. Science has taught us that genetics play a part in one's weight, hormones play a part in one's weight, and the "thin" have a bacteria in their gut that overweight people lack (this gut bacteria is inherited through genetics). If one is eating healthy and exercising in order to maintain their health, then who is anyone to criticize? The truth is, people choose to be cruel, and it is, for some lousy reason, acceptable in society to bully those that are fighting their own genetics (are overweight). Don't allow those that choose to be bullies to steal your happiness or your health. If you want to be loved, LOVE YOURSELF. Anyone that cannot appreciate you for exactly who you are isn't worth your time. Stay beautiful and always remember that you are.

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." A. A. Milne

P.S. Look up what size Marilyn Monroe was - she was voted a "Most Beautiful Woman in the World."

FreeThinker on February 28, 2018:

Jim,

I am a woman. I dumped an accountant and married a mechanic. The mechanic could tell me what he loved about me (besides my looks). There are some good women out there, just as there are some good men. The heartache is the journey to the two finding one another.

Jim on December 16, 2017:

YES, and women don’t find short minimum wage workerss with a heart of gold attractive. At least, you can put down the Twinkie.

Manuel on November 19, 2017:

I'll never understand why women KNOWING that they are overweight, which is bad --for their health & in the eyes of MOST men, do not do something about it. I was in good shape in High school and am within 5 lbs of the last day of school. I'm a short man, witch I can do nothing about, but have ALWAYS watch my weight. I have always viewed women who are overweight as boring, unattractive, and unsexy.

Most men are attracted to women with their eyes, and if the view isn't good they pass.

antony on November 12, 2017:

why cant they date fat men?

Harold on October 28, 2017:

It's obvious to me that the author is a female that cannot have experienced testosterone and it's affect one the male perspective.

Crash on September 19, 2017:

I've seen how overweight women date, I have almost never seen an overweight women give an overweight man a chance. 270 pound women who only date thing guys or in shape guys.

Guys have no respect for boys who will jump anything.

Jennifer on September 10, 2017:

hi i just wanted to say that you can feel as good about yourself as you want you want, but when it comes to getting good looking man that do not have big belly or to old it is your weight. some big women get hot guys but very few. that is what is happening its sad but it we as big women do have to come down some if you want a hot guy.

frustrated on August 25, 2017:

This entire conversation is just making me sad. I was a chubby little girl because my parents were stupid. Then an anorexic teenager because of twiggy and the vogue generation. I have been on a diet for 50 years, every time I lose 100 lbs I gain back 120. I am so sick of lazy stupid men who only want to go out and eat, drink and watch hockey then complain I spend to much time at the gym and I still have a fat ass. I spend my day at work sitting at my desk then I come home and work my ass off again taking care of everybody else only to be abused for it. I wish I could find somebody to love me, help me to live a healthy lifestyle, and stop comparing me to some skinny photoshop teenager. STOP THE ABUSE! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! I AM NOT LAZY. I am hurt. I am damaged from the abuse. I am depressed because according to this conversation I am never going to be worth anything to anybody until I am skinny.

happycamper10 on August 14, 2017:

Why men aren't attracted to women to fat women is irrelevant. It's innate. They aren't, and forever it shall be so.

Tim on August 01, 2017:

Most women want a guy 5'10 or better. I'm 5'7" and 53 years old male and thinning hair.

Smarmy2 on July 24, 2017:

I'm simply not attracted in any way to obese women, they are no more attractive to me than a guy. It's as simple as that. I have a good fiend who is a lesbian, I don't expect her to be attracted to me, I don't get upset when she isn't.

I'll be friends with a guy, I'll be friends with a heavy women. I don't want to make out with ether.

Book of Job on July 18, 2017:

Sorry, but I don't find fat women very interesting. I'm 58 and am in better shape than virtually all obese 25-year-old women (I'm not interested in anyone 20 or 30 years younger than me, by the way, regardless of their shape).

My non-work life revolves around physical activity. Fat women can't do that. I see a fat woman as someone who sits around a lot. She won't keep up with me. I spend enough time sitting around at work. I don't want to hang out with someone who spends a lot of time in the kitchen, or nibbling, or watching TV.

I also don't want the baggage that goes along with a fat woman - joint problems, heart problems, often diabetes and no end of other health problems that can even include vision problems and early dementia. As well as wondering whether the fatness is covering up a psychological problem.

Weight can be lost - I lost 40 pounds in 3 months when my doctor told me to 15 years ago and have kept it off, without crash dieting - just by eating sensibly.

I won't be cruel to you if I meet you, but I just can't imagine that we'd have that much in common if you're extremely overweight.

Delusional on June 29, 2017:

Haha. Good one. Men will start doing that about the same time women decide to give "poor men" a chance. The overweight women I've known who were great people have had no problem finding a mate. They weren't focused on 'superficial things', as you put it (like money, status, etc.). The fat women who can't find men often think because they have some advanced degree that it entitles them to an equally successful man (or the code word they use is "ambitious", which means rich). Men who have means don't want fat women, generally speaking.

Disclaimer. I'm not the poor guy I mention in my hypothetical. I do fine financially and actually prefer a woman with a feminine curvy figure...curvy, not fat. Fat translates to lazy and lack of discipline. Since I'm an energetic man who enjoys outdoor activities and working out, why would I want a lazy slug who sits around whining and putting on weight because she's stressed out? Do the math.

CharlieInTheBox on June 04, 2017:

You realize you've contradicted yourself in two back-to-back sentences, right?

"Men need to stop being so obsessed with looks and dig deeper into who a person is. I recently joined an online dating site, and so far all I've attracted are men my father's age or older. Yuck."

Also, my last girlfriend was 19 years younger than I am and the one before that was 11 years younger, so there goes the yuck on our part anyway. And, no, I'm not wealthy. Not even that tall. Women just like me and it's not my fault the younger ones want to spend time with me.

Ken on May 25, 2017:

I love fat women! Would never date a thin/skinny girl. I love a girl that has a healthy appetite. To see her gain weight, that's such a turn-on for Me! Squeeze her fat, play with it, fondle it, is so exciting. Shake it, jiggle it, makes my heart race! Truth is, there are way more men that feel this way, that you think. They're afraid of what their friends and family will say. Instead of following their heart, and being happy, they give in to what we're all forced to see and think. So many people are separated/divorced because of what we're told is beautiful. If you think someone is beautiful, tell them! You're the one who has to look at them at the breakfast table. If you make her feel beautiful, she will always be faithful, and love you to death!

jawnee on May 21, 2017:

Women avoid short men who have no money who fake their height with platform shoes,yet entitled,overvalued disney princess d-bags who are short,flat broke,who fake their height with high heels are "goddess's." lol American women are wack.

Ken on May 20, 2017:

Guess I'm different. I absolutely love fat women. I can't get "excited" for a skinny/thin girl. I've dated girls from 200, to 650 pounds. I'm currently with a 325 pound girl, and want to marry her. My preference. I don't care what anyone says either. We're the ones who's happy. I love her. I love to squeeze her, and she loves when I do!

justsomeguy69 on May 16, 2017:

don't be deluded and NO, men don't have to change because something as ridiculous as feminism is telling you that it's okay to be as big as 3 women and that manner shallow. The only reason you are alive and able to post your stupid blog enabling other fat people to live an unhealthy life is because your parents found one another attractive and more importantly suitable to work together to raise a family. It has been proven that obesity is linked to mental health issues and the fact that you are deluded and trying to delude others into believing you're beautiful and that men should accept you the way you are is proof of your mental instability. Men don't find you unattractive because they are shallow, men find you unattractive because you are fat. it is an unnatural State like everything else the proof is in the pudding

Doug on April 24, 2017:

Quit scapegoating and accept responsibility for yourself, your appearance and the fact that we are all visual creatures.

Jenn44 on April 22, 2017:

You are in total denial of your addiction to food. It is amazing what lengths people will go to in order to cling to their addiction, including writing this article of nonsense. People can't help it if they aren't physically attracted to someone who is obese. Being unhealthy, quite simply, is unattractive. I am and have been obese for quite sometime. Now that I have finally come to terms with my problem and accept that there is nothing wrong with the fact that I too need to be physically attracted to my partner, I have been able to summon the willpower to stop shoveling food down my gullet. The notion that a person should accept you merely for your "inner beauty" is bullshit.

bibi on March 02, 2017:

Absolutely true. I don't care what people here say. I used to be chubby with abit of a belly and but recently lost a lot of weight n my physique n belly is in very good shape now. Like very flat belly n slim. And now, I'm getting ALOT of men chasing me.. Buying flowers n cakes n stuff. I clearly see the big difference. Honestly physical attraction is a big deal. Wot I want to say to men is... If u would never dream of dating an OLD or out of shape woman, then don't expect girls to want to date an old, short or fat guy as well. As much as u like a physical attraction, we do too. Just don't understand when old grandpa type or short fat guys hit on young fit girls thinking they have a chance. Maybe u might, but think about it ,if u would not dare an OLD fat woman, we r not interested in old short fat guys too ok. So yeah the door swings both ways.

Mandy on March 01, 2017:

This is ridiculous. Listen to yourself:

"Men need to stop being so obsessed with looks and dig deeper into who a person is. I recently joined an online dating site, and so far all I've attracted are men my father's age or older. Yuck."

Men won't date you because you're a feminist. ("Men need to feel and do what I want them to feel and do") and they are somehow superficial assholes for eliminating you on the basis of a serious health concern which is potentially an addiction (stress eating) and potentially value-based (eg active living)... and meanwhile THEY are gross for expecting a fat young woman whose mate value is lower than her peers to desire them as an older man???

It's not their fault your current results, which are based on your past and current actions, do not generate attraction.

Educated on January 18, 2017:

This is a load of fucking garbage. Men, and women alike have COMPLETE right to do what they want! Look at the studies; Women are harsher on other women than men would ever hope to be! There is no controlling what you are attracted to. RESEARCH THE SCIENCE OF ATTRACTION!!!! Men and women alike are constantly sending messages to the opposite sex. Men are ALWAYS looking for fertility. Obese women send the subconscious message that their hormones are lacking, and therefore are less fertile, and henceforth LESS ATTRACTIVE!! RESEARCH!!! I'm so sick of this stuck up crybaby generation saying "The world will change for me". No it won't. The world is the way it is because of natural processes outside of anyone's control. Wtf did you think happened? A bunch of assholes came into power and said,"We're gonna make everyone less attracted to fat people because we're assholes, and that's what we do". Fuck off. Who gave you the right to reach into everyone's genetics and change them to how you fucking want them? The best you can do is discourage people from being jerks. But you Will NEVER change what evolution has already decided. Put ya big girl panties on, get a damn binky, and stop desiring to fuck with my DNA.

Auticus on January 14, 2017:

Well author, while I feel your frustration I will tell you women also dont like fat men.

Its not a gender thing.

Its a people thing. Its a culture thing. Its a status thing.

Capt chaos on January 09, 2017:

This is BS. All men don't need to change for you. Take responsibility for yourself.

samrat on November 18, 2016:

Let me ask you a few questions.

Would you date a man who was a few inches shorter than you?

Would you date a man who was bald?

Would you date a man who had uncontrollable severe acne?

Would you date a man with a feminine voice?

If your answer to any of these questions is "no", then please stop being a hypocrite and quit whining.

Courtney Rhodes on July 15, 2015:

I am not thin, not fat, but not what is considered ideal by media standards. I have a single "fit" friend that is active on the dating scene. We are the same age. Sometimes she'd invite me over to "evaluate" the guy she was dating and being married for 13 years I didn't really mind, although I did tell her that she should go with her instinct ultimately and not my opinion solely. After meeting several dates with her, she stopped asking me. I thought nothing of it until she told me that some of her dates wouldn't stop talking or asking about me or we seemed to hit it off. A few of them were people I'd consider if I were single, but I would not cheat on my husband, nor have a "flirtatious" conversation with a man who is not my husband. Maybe being overweight lessened the stress on the man's part to impress allowing him to talk more without feeling to much stress. Maybe the the same for me. Maybe they found me physically attractive or a combination of all. Since I wasn't trying to impress anyone I actually did inadvertantly, to the point my friend felt I was a threat. Of course people judge others first by their looks if that is what is presented first, but it doesn't necessarily mean that first impressions are the only impressions that person can walk away with. So regarding the people that are very anti-fat to the point of insulting and shaming, they would find another way to insult you (maybe not in the beginning) if you were "slim and perfect". That's the kind of people they are, most likely they are hiding something about themselves they hate and you wouldn't want to be with this kind of person anyway. Good luck on your journey, there is someone for everyone out there.

Hypocrite???? on February 01, 2015:

You all are hypocrite. When you cannot stop eating, it is a disease just like a drug addict. Don't you think that if we could just stop eating that we could????????? DUHHHHHHHHH! No brainer. It's not that easy. Or we all would be thin and happy. Guys are very visual creatures. That is a fact. Science. When I was thin I had guys flocking to me, when I gained weight, no guys wanted anything to do with me. By the way women are the same way. Sometimes the beauty is inside, not the outside.

Bibiana on November 30, 2014:

I am a woman who loves fat men, a female Fat Admirer. I do agree with you though- just about any woman of any size can get a guy to have sex with her, but heavier men are not so lucky. That stinks.

Ash on November 11, 2014:

I'm certain that most people want someone who in their eyes is healthy...just like we want someone who is free of addictions of any other kind. But the truth is, weight matters. I wish it didn't and it's not something I ever thought twice about when I was fit. We cannot help what we are attracted to. However, being this weight has actually been a blessing in disguise for me. Once I return to the weight that I had been comfortable with all my life, I will not be open to dating someone who fat shames...not because I have experienced being fat but because of the cruelty and ignorance of it. To me it would be on the same level as a woman shaming a man for being poor (but now had money)? Would you be able to trust that she would be there with you through the good and bad? Probably not. Shaming is superficial, judgmental and downright cruel but it's also in someone's full control which is why I will not accept it.

Ash on November 11, 2014:

This blog was such an eye-opening experience for me. I'm in the health field and used to be very fit and active until I had some health problems that directly impacted my weight. It has been a very strange experience to have been very fit and then the polar opposite...and the sad thing is that people treat you very differently. I spent most of my life in long term relationships, no problems getting dates and guys being crazy about me but this was all when I was fit. When my weight transitioned after my last long term relationship, the dating world was a much different world than I had remembered it. Not that I was older and now successful, but because I was fat

Gerard on August 23, 2014:

What a difference a thick woman or smooth, the main thing that she was from Eastern Europe. Russian women are known for their devotion and love https://mymagicbrides.com

T.T. on August 19, 2014:

So much misogyny and unnecessary hatred in these comments. Sad really, but hey the 'net will always be the cradle of idiocy, cruelty and cowardice.

Hockeypuck on August 18, 2014:

My Gawd, where do these hambeasts get the notion they are owed love?

das on August 17, 2014:

asdasf

Non lazy dude on August 15, 2014:

Fat people are lazy. You got that big because you ate too much and lived like a sloth. Go to the gym and eat less than you burn and get over it. I don't date lazy women and women don't date broke dudes nuff said.

DragonFi on August 12, 2014:

Well you're weight might not put people off as much as your insistence on crossing out words in sentences for no good reason at all.

cazetan on August 10, 2014:

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Nick on August 03, 2014:

Feminism is fascinating. Men are somehow manipulated by the evil media to not find overweight women appealing, yet all of these overweight women think that some Channing Tatum lookalike should want them. Do fat women suddenly fantasize about John Goodman or Chris Farley? Of course not.

Beating a dead horse on August 03, 2014:

Obese is not attractive.

Tom on July 31, 2014:

Getting winded by going up a few steps is honestly pathetic!

Say what you want, but we are not being shallow!

Besides do you really want to be pitied? Because that's what your asking for. He should go out with you even though your fat, he just needs to deal with it.

What you're asking for is to be pitied.

How can you say "I love you body, mind and soul" if you think she is ugly. You can say the words but you never really mean it.

Believe it or not but it really is all about sex - it is about sexual attraction... Yes, there is more to it than just sex but sex is still a huge part if it. The only thing different between your wife and your friends and family is literally "sex."

And I know what Joshua said was meant to be rude - but nevertheless, it is true.

liam on July 28, 2014:

Are you living under a rock? Some guys love woman regardless and I actually find thicker, and fuller woman are more attractive then skinny girls I prefer my woman in all shapes mostly except as strange as it sounds skinny. Im talking about like stick figures wel I look like it like this woman are great but shapeless woman are my least admirable if you have a personaility that helps whining doesn't :)

fatwoman on July 18, 2014:

Christian men never want a fat woman. I don't know why. They are supposed to be the least shallow. I quit going to church and quit the church singles scene and met a wonderful man who didn't care that I was overweight. Go figure.

Tim on July 15, 2014:

I think we haven't evolved much ... Physical attraction is somewhat primal. I'm talking about both sexes. We see "healthier" appearance as more attractive to increase our chances of survival in the "wilderness" haha... Not having the willpower to control food intake also may raise a red flag to many - it is a weakness. Have you thought of dating fat guys?? Do you find fat men attractive? Seems that obese people are fixated on being accepted by "skinny" people (the perceived judgers) in the form of dating them. Date an obese man.

Doug on July 01, 2014:

I want to snuggle and cuddle a fat woman but all women reject me for reasons I can only guess! The most likely two gusses are: 1. I'm not full of money and 2. I'm not crazed on intercorse. The only woman that went with me (14 years ago) actually married me, died of cancer in 3 1/2 years (we did not get divorced)Before her:no one.since her:no one.

Gloomy Sunday on July 01, 2014:

Sad, Sad human who does judge,

unknown kid on June 10, 2014:

this comment is to maureen carey if men aren't attracted to overweight or obese women that doesn't make them shallow what makes a person shallow is that a guy wheres a shirt saying no fat chicks is who we are attracted to would you like to be forced to be attracted to guys your fathers age it's same thing not all men are like that women do it to i know it's about personality aswell but it's the looks that attracts the person i can't date someone that i'm not attracted to i have obese friends how is it wrong to not date overweight women that is stupid that s like saying drinking beer is wrong i do admit there are some skinny women that i'm not attracted to i do admit i'm not the best looking guy there are women out there who are not attracted to me does that make them shallow of course not it's who there attracted to i know it's not all about looks but if i had a perfect girlfriend a supermodel and if she was using me i would tell her to fuck off but if there was a decent looking women with a nice personality caring and if i was barely attracted i wouldn't mind dating her

JC on June 06, 2014:

Men are shallow because they're not attracted to overweight women? If a woman can turn me down for a date because she doesn't like my thinning hair, then guess what, I reserve the right to turn down a woman who weighs significantly more than a healthy 6'2" 180 lb man who runs 5 miles everyday! So yes, I'm saying that women are every bit as shallow when it comes to judging men. But here is the thing, my thinning hair is something that is completely out of my control... At least not without spending thousands of dollars on it! However, a persons weight is something that is usually very much within their control. I know there a some cases where it is not, but face it, these cases are rare! Most people are overweight for the simple reason that they eat too much, and exercise too little. This is going to lead the opposite sex into thinking that you do not care enough about yourself to make healthy lifestyle decisions. I apologize if that sounds harsh, but it is the simple non-sugarcoated truth!

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healthyhuman on May 25, 2014:

I am an active woman with a tall athletic stature. I love food. I love to cook, and eat what I cook, because...well, I'm really good at cooking! I love bread, and cheese, and sweets, but I also love being active. I do not snack or eat processed foods, but have a few sweets a few times a week. I only eat fresh and not a lot of red meats. My husband loves my cooking! Aside from societal preceptions of ideal 'beauty', there is an evolutionary/ biological ideology inbedded deep within the root of our pysche as human beings. That is, we are not supposed to be seditary, our ancient ancestors were always on the moving and working hard for their meals and shelter. A healthy individual is not fat, and actually not all healthy individuals are extremely skinny either. A healthy individual is fit and in shape. Either ends of the spectrum of being obese, or too thin indicates weaknesses such as inability to have control of oneself, or to educate ones self on nutrional information, perhaps indicates insecurites, depression, ocd ect. On this topic, bologically, it is not benifitial to pair up with an unhealthy individual. There is a reason why a healthy body weight is attractive. Because this is also an indication of mental wellness, and intellegence. You have the world at your finger tips. Spend less time on dating sites and more time researching what you are eating and how, AND WHY - to be healthy- for yourself- no one else... The last thing our society should give in to is peoples with bad health choises, just to stroke the egos and not offend anyone. You are unhealthy. This is not societies fault, not mens perceptions, or women who make healthy choisees. I am not tall and 'thin' because society thinks i should be... I am in shape because I am healthy and a choose to be healthy. I choose to educate myself and I choose to cook healthy, delicious foods. I decide when I eat and how much with self control and decipline.

Joshua on May 23, 2014:

Do you really want to know why most men don't like to date fat women - and realize that I said "Most." Here is a list of things that thin/healthy people can do that fat people cannot.

1. Cannot fit into the booths at restuarants

2. Can barely fit into the seats on airplanes

2B. Can barely fit into the seats at movie theaters/concerts or anything similar.

3. Try to ride a regular street bike comfortably and without getting winded during the first 30 seconds

4. Try to take a bath, probably cannot fit

5. Can't jump on a trampoline

6. Too big/heavy to go on rides at theme parks,

7. Cannot join the Military

8. You have to go to the Big&Tall shop because other stores won't have your size.

9. Cannot sit in a chair without spilling over to the sides

10. Use Crutches

11. IF you are able to even sit on the floor, you won't be able to get up in a dignified way.

12. Too big for most water slides

13. Cannot sit on a persons lap without killing them - this is a big one

14. Can't really even look good in clothes

15. Toilets are too small for fat people

16. Difficulty wiping

17. Live past 45

18. Go parachuting

19. Bungee Jump

20. Having to use the scooter carts at grocery stores instead of a regular cart.

21. Go Hiking

22. Easily cut their toenails

23. Go Carts

24. Try to ride a horse

25. Walk between people in tight spaces

26. Easily go under a car to fix it

27. See one's own penis/vagina

28. Can't do 98% of sex positions

29. Hula hoop

30. Easily walk up stairs

31. Can't be picked up/held by your boyfriend

32. SURVIVE MOST LIFE THREATENING SITUATIONS

32B. Boyfriend can't even carry you to safety.

32C. If your falling off an edge, don't expect people to grab you - you will be like an anchor and take them with you, we don't want to die.

32D. If there is a fire and you are a couple stories up, you will probably break the trampoline that firefighters use to catch people.

You know why you cannot do any of these things? Because your too fat.

"Your too fat to do stuff."

Taken from this video called Joe Mamma:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvPciRmLSlU

Just skip to 3:11 and watch until 4:31 and you will hear even more stuff you cannot do - it may be a stupid comedy video, but it is true

And no, I am not trying to be mean, but really? I want a girl who is healthy.

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ChasInBox on May 15, 2014:

Ma'am...I would like to say I love fat women. I find fat very sexy, plush, delicious, alluring and more. Nothing sweeter than my hand around your full-figured waist, or putting my arms around your plus size figure. White guy, too - believe it?

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Hello on May 10, 2014:

"Give the fat girls a chance!!! We may have extra cushioning, but we can do everything else like the skinny or average woman! Maybe even better! "

Come take a run with me for an hour.......................

shanna on April 30, 2014:

With most of the comments it has proved my point. Men don't like heavy women, I have been married for 10 years and he says he's attracted to bigger women, I know he's full of crap because I catch him looking at porn which of coarse he is looking at skinny women. I don't believe for one second that any guy even guys who date big women are attracted to them. I believe all men are attracted to thin women they just settle and take what they can get with thick chubby or big women.

Anonymous on April 30, 2014:

All I expect is a woman who is as fit as I am. I don't think that's asking for too much and it makes sense. I've had issues before when I was with a girl who just wanted to sit on her ass all day. I wanted to go for walks, swim, hike or something. The desire for physical activity is usually seen in how fit a person is. Thus, expecting someone with a similar level of fitness works out well. Perhaps you don't want a man who is as fat as you. Hmmm?

JT on April 11, 2014:

How does the woman who wrote this feel about fat men? I'm sure she clicks past the fat or less attracitve men. Does she call herself shallow? Especially with online dating, there has to be some kind of spark., The only spark you can get while scrolling through pics is by looks, that's just the way it is. Deal with it. Yes fat people get a bum rap on dating sites, but it goes both ways. Don't call men shallow for browsing dating sites the same way you do.

re-obese on March 24, 2014:

Hmm is that a real question, why won't all men date huge women ? Well, do men HAVE to find every woman attractive ? That's basically what you are saying, actually complaining, that it's not fair. So you as a large woman, find EVERY man physically acceptable for dating and intimacy ? I'm sure NOT. you have your likes and dislikes so if you are upset about being large, stop eating, hit the treadmill. It's a simple equation, all the food you are stuffing down must be used up so IF you want to be slimmer, don't make excuses, be strong, just do it. I mean, come on, biggest loser contestants can do it when the hope of money is involved. Men can't force themselves to be attracted to a huge woman any more than he can force himself to look at a man, it's just not there if it's just not there. Do you expect someone to FORCE himself to be attracted to you ?

roosh on March 22, 2014:

Look author, this is an easy question to answer:

Back in the middle ages, being fat was considered healthy because people were starving and there was never enough to eat.

Nowadays, we have plenty to eat. The proverb goes:

In a time of famine, the fat woman is impressive. In a time of plenty, the fat woman is a gluttonous pig.

The same can be said for why sluts are shamed.

Richard on February 02, 2014:

Ya know that's kind of funny seeing as I've asked fat women who accuse men of being shallow that have said the exact same as you before and guess what? they can't stand to date fat guys.If you can't date a fat guy then you are your own problem.

Not owning your problems on January 26, 2014:

People first notice another person's physical attractiveness, unless you've only talked on the phone or another impersonal way. There isn't anything wrong with that, because it can tell you other things about their personality. It's not completely shallow.

One woman has neat, clean, combed hair. Another woman's hair is dirty and unkempt. Unless there's a specific reason for that, you can tell the second woman doesn't take hygiene or personal care too seriously.

It's the same thing with people who are overweight. Most people who are overweight usually eat unhealthy foods, don't exercise, and simply eat too much. This shows a lack of self-discipline and less understanding of health and nutrition. If a man wants to have a child with a woman, who would he rather pick? The in-shape, slimmer woman, or the unhealthy looking overweight woman?

Instead of owning this problem, that you eat too much, don't eat the right foods, and don't exercise, you just keep looking for people who will accept you. Other fat people will accept you. You'll just keep acting repressed and agreeing with each other that everyone else is the problem, not you.

These men have no obligation to date you. If they don't find you attractive, they don't need to do anything they don't want to. You're not owed a partner if you can't take care of yourself.

Own your problems, don't make everyone else the problem.

Extremely Offended on January 11, 2014:

Well, to be entirely honest, some people commenting are too brutal, others are much too soft.

To start, I know what it's like to be a stress eater. I'm male, and actually still a teen, but I've dealt with a lot of stress in my life, more than the usual homework and bullies, but I won't go into detail. I try to force myself out of the kitchen, and sometimes succeed, which is why I'm not largely overweight, but I was. I still am overweight, but not as much, though I'd like to be lean or muscular, not overweight at all. So, I understand that portion. To everyone who doesn't get it, some people do react differently to stress than others. Stress, in large doses, can cause a number of problems and illnesses and abnormalities and odd habits. Sometimes people go days not eating, others eat like pigs. Some spend their time puking, some get dangerously bad migraines, others can't stop crying at the smallest of things. And from basic problems like those, more serious issues can occur.

Now, to the idiots who have posted that it isn't in our mental programming to seek young, attractive mates, you are wrong. Studies have, in fact, proven that seeking a lover is largely based on appearance because hormones make us want a mate who takes care of themselves and can therefore take care of a child. Attraction to large breasts, for example, is due to the male brain automatically believing that bigger means more milk, so we find it a sexy, erotic thing. A healthy body means the woman or man takes care of themselves, eats right, is active, and has a strong body system suitable for child bearing (for women). So, YES, it is in our brains to naturally seek healthier lovers.

On the flip side of that, some men are more brains than hormones and look into a girl and see her for her. I have been attracted to only a handful of women (I have high standards for an obese guy, if that makes any sense) and several of them were about as overweight as I am, maybe a little more or less. I was one of the few guys who found them beautiful despite the weight. My attraction to a girl is based on four things in the following order: Intelligence, Personality, Sense Of Humor, Appearance. The last two are optional, though the first two are mandatory. I can't find myself attracted to unintelligent or rude/vulgar/cruel girls. In this, I am very offended at being told to stop fooling myself and admit to preferring skinny girls. I really don't have a major preference on weight, so I am not fooling myself if I say I don't mind larger girls. Yeah, very offended on that comment. Not all men are hormonal pigs with no sense of dignity and will stoop to dating idiots for good sex.

Another note, women are just as bad, sometimes worse, than men. I have met plenty of girls that have outright told me, "Sorry, but I'd never date you. You're fat and I'm not attracted to big guys." Again, it is in their hormones and natural mind programming to be more interested in sexy men than bigger guys, which I hate. Believe me, I've been trying to lose weight. My issue is that I am expected to be the smart guy and people respect me for lacking a sense of vanity, even my family, so if I were to ever actually be caught working-out willingly in front of them, I'd lose that image. So I can only do anything to lose weight in secret or with a different excuse, if the opportunity comes. Probably that I'm worrying for nothing. People might respect me more if I wanted to lose weight and kept my pride low, but I'm worried it will ruin my smart-guy, don't-care-what-you-think-of-my-weight outlook. My own fault.

Another thing, as I just did, own up to your issues. You're overweight, so stop pushing it on men and blaming them. It is in their hormones. You need to also take a good long look at yourself and think, "Well, I have the personality. . .If I got skinnier, I'd have men begging for me." That thought is the only reason I've lost as much as I have, though knowing my luck, a sexy body would get me nowhere. For some reason, I've met girls who actually tell me, "I could never date you because you're so much smarter than I am and you sometimes talk and act like a girl." I am a bit feminine and I do get called "human dictionary" a lot, so I guess I don't even a decent personality, but oh well. All the same, you need to straighten up and realize that while part of the problem is hormonal pigs that you have unfortunately associated me with, you are also part of the problem. Weight is a factor in our lives that can be controlled with self-control.

All of that above said, I still do feel pity, a bit, for you, knowing how difficult it can be to lose weigh, especially when you're over 50 pounds overweight. I've been there. I managed to lose it in secret. I made up the excuse that walking was a good way to relax and unwind, which my family constantly tells me to do, as I am very high-strung, so they were more than willing to let me walk for several miles around town or down back roads anytime I asked if I could without a hint of suspicion. I did it almost daily during the Spring and Summer (good temperatures, peace an quiet of back roads that run through forests, excellent time for walking, does help relax and unwind).

Oh, and stop expecting so much. Just because a guy is 'Christian' doesn't mean anything. I used to be, of course, but recently I've given up on the title. The closest I come to believing in any god are the Greek Myths, which I love, but I certainly don't worship. I gave up belief in any of the current "almighty creator" gods that would snap their fingers and send you to Hell if you did wrong. However, plenty of guys I know that are Christian are far worse than I am. They can claim to be good people, but their hormones, lack of self-control, and overall personalities will mean more than any Bible passage they read when determining their actual dating preferences, or anything else for that matter.

Next time you write anything for all the world to see, try to be less biased and emotional about it and more logical and scientific. Logic, Emotion, and Instincts have to balance one another out if you want to get anywhere and everywhere. Follow your Brain sometimes, your Heart sometimes, and your Gut sometimes, but never always follow one or two and shut the other one or two out completely. Your Heart can easily cloud your better judgement. Bravery without Knowledge is Stupidity. A Heart that doesn't go for what it wants is destined to live in misery. You need all three to complete your life and you're currently basing everything far too much on your emotional bias.

In addition, I would be very grateful if you wouldn't generalize me with others of my sex. I find being compared to the majority of them rather offensive. To whoever said Europeans and Asians and all that are better to date, make of me what you will. I am always a gentlemen to the girls I date, making sure to buy flowers for every holiday, along with any other appropriate gifts, I am polite, and I always hear her opinions out before replying or contradicting, as I believe an intelligent woman should have an equal voice in a relationship. I have dated only two girls, actually. Most people find that strange for a 14 year old male, but I point this out merely to say I dated one girl who was, at the time, very, very large and another who was, literally, a model. An actual teenaged model. I dated the big one for several months longer, enjoyed being with her more, and I'm currently still trying to think of ways to get back together with her. She's skinnier, but she's still overweight, and I want to find a way to get back with her. Even if I had an eight pack, sexy pecks, beefy arms, and was just overall the sexiest man alive, I'd still want her back right now.

Please, never again write something that generalizes the male population, especially if you're going to be offensive about it. Most men, yes, are like that. Most women, yes, are also like that. However, there is a good percentage that have more taste, more emotion, and more control over their hormones. I hope you find one and I wish you well in losing weight.

Anon on January 05, 2014:

It's simple.

"On the whole"...

1. Women prefer taller guys and women prefer guys that are in shape

2. Men prefer girls that are in shape

3. Having personality helps make up for short-coming in these areas but it doesn't change the above facts

4. We do live in a society where it is hard to stay fit and healthy, esp. as a lot of us grow up eating unhealthy but it's your life. You need to take control. The real problem here isn't men, it is your coping mechanism for stress, which as you say is food.

LOlJoker on January 04, 2014:

This article is a Joke for sure. I've seen way more fat women with small men than I have fat men with smaller women. In fact, I have seen fat chicks that pretty much exclusively date thin/athletically built dudes and they get all the dates and sex they want. Let a big dude make up in his mind that he will exclusively date smaller women, you will then see an extremely lucky or extremely lonely individual.

Laura on December 16, 2013:

Definitely a topic that can be discussed endlessly because beauty really is in the eye of the beholder but if we want to discuss "generalities" the majority of men do not want to date an overweight woman....in fact the majority of men want to date a "fit" woman and have very little patience for a woman even a few pounds overweight. I am 5' tall and have gained a little weight after a family tragedy....I now weigh 118 lbs....you guessed it....my boyfriend of 3 years said he can't deal with my weight!!!!

Karla on December 04, 2013:

I was thin for most of my life and then got huge (200 lbs).. . I wanted to gain weight to be invisible to men, but, instead of being invisible I just attracted a different type of guy. It was the worse, as I truly enjoy being active and my size limited me and caused me to get injured. I am now thin again and never going back to that unhealthy way of life... I also have learned to appreciate the attention from men

B.Mccoullum from Fort Wayne on December 01, 2013:

Self confidence and a personality---I have all of that. Thanks, great post!

Holly Dawn from Mount Pleasant, Iowa on November 30, 2013:

I've been overweight or obese for the majority of my life (the last time I was skinny was when I was a newborn baby!) I have never personally had a problem with the opposite sex and now that I am in my early 30's I find that I have quite the active sex and dating life.

I also have an outgoing personality and a great sense of humor, I take great pride in my appearance and hygiene and I have a pretty face, I date and attract successful men who are not losers or even overweight themselves (even though I hold no prejudice against larger men or men with blue collar jobs).

Currently I am casually seeing a man who is a member of a drug enforcement task force and the assistant chief of the local fire department, I broke off things earlier this year with a man who was a gymnastics coach for a local college.

These men are nice looking, fit and respected in my local community so Bianca, you and other overweight women are not doomed, I'm speaking from personal experience, self confidence and a personality will take you far in life if you know how to work it.

B.Mccoullum from Fort Wayne on November 29, 2013:

After reading the comments, it is confirmed: I'm doomed. However, I've adjusted to being single. I can not want what does not want me.

loreleiwatkins on November 28, 2013:

i think one must have a positive and respectful attitude toward yourself and others, no matter age, size, economical position. i am fat, always been fat. and have dated gorgeous funny interesting man. curiously, many of them younger than i am. whatever you are and do, cut the complaining number of your life asap and just live up.

be happy.

loreleiwatkins on November 28, 2013:

i think one must have a positive and respectful attitude toward yourself and others, no matter age, size, economical position. i am fat, always been fat. and have dated gorgeous funny interesting man. curiously, many of them younger than i am. whatever you are and do, cut the complaining number of your life asap and just live up.

be happy.

Bob on November 18, 2013:

Fat women are like mopeds. Fun to ride as long as your friends don't know you're doing it.

Ben on November 18, 2013:

As a Christian man I have found that the vast majority of women living a Biblical life are of skinny to average weight. Most of the time fatness is caused by the sinful behaviors of laziness and gluttony.

So in finding a good wife, I would like to find one not living unrepentantly in sin. Just happens that the vast majority of those women are a healthy weight or currently working on weight loss.

Men aren't shallow for not dating fat women if they don't find them sexually attractive. Would you rather your husband want to have sex with you or the woman he's looking at across the room? Wanting to bone your spouse helps prevent infidelity. Men know this. What's the point of getting married besides sex? All emotional needs can be fulfilled through nonsexual friendships with women. The way to a man's heart is through his pants. If you want to marry, start offering something like a sexually attractive body that the man can't obtain through just friendship. Christianally speaking of course. I know most people do it before marriage.

Truthis on November 05, 2013:

See, fat gals like to compare themselves to fat guys, but there is no comparison. Fat guys know they're fat and expect to be treated that way. Fat GALS on the other hand want to be treated like a supermodel and NEVER speak of the rolls of sweaty fat and stinky va-jay-jay between their legs. Fat PEOPLE are gross, fat WOMEN are delusional AND gross.

It's not like you're missing a leg, pigs, it's not like you've been burned and you look like a horror show. No, it's just fat and you're JUST lazy.

GET OUT OF YOUR CHAIR!

Stop sitting down so much fat people. You sit behind a TV, a computer, a dinner table, and you never get up. You get so fat that your ankles and feet start bothering you giving you yet ANOTHER excuse no to exercise and eat less.

It's one thing to have LITERALLY a few extra pounds, but these exact women described above are NOT a few pounds over. A few pounds is like 5-15lbs. NOT 50!! And sure as hell not 100lbs. No, monsters, 100 pounds is NOT a few extra, it's an entire week's worth of groceries that's what it is. It's the weight of a 7 year old child, probably one you still use as an excuse for being big.. poor kid.. simply because you were pregnant.. ate for FIVE .. and didn't do a thing to lose any of it after you had them.

Women are.. first and foremost.. liars. More than men ever were. Why? Because THEY LIE TO THEMSELVES! Something men never did. What's worse is they then REQUIRE men to lie to them too. You have to be a master liar to be with a fat woman. She'll not only want you to tell her she's "beautiful" when in reality she is FAT AND FAT IS NOT BEAUTIFUL.. HELLO! .. but they will also require you to PRETEND like you want to have sex with them and call you a freak when you get "fat impotence" which,.. by the way guys,.. this is NOT a flaw in the system.

"Fat Impotence" is a NATURAL .. BUILT IN baby making instinct. Men are NOT meant to reproduce with fat women. They're unhealthy. ALL OF THEM! Either mentally, physically, or both. There is a REASON they are fat! This "reason" does NOT automatically deserve them sympathy or a flipping handicap parking pass. It deserves them LONELINESS until they reduce their weight.

I'm not saying NO ONE should ever be with a fat woman. I'm saying that fat PEOPLE can LOSE WEIGHT! That is all there is. There is no coloring outside the lines.. fat people need to lose weight.. period. One in about one MILLION people have an actual disorder that makes it so hard to lose weight that they need medication and GUESS WHAT.. THOSE people are ON that medication and they .. you guessed it.. lose weight. People that are on disability because they "don't want" to lose weight are LAZY!

Do NOT mate with these cows. If they have the ambition to lose, they're worth it. If they don't, not only are they fat and unattractive, they also have ZERO ambition in life and THAT is something you don't want to pass on to your children either.

END FAT ACCEPTANCE TODAY! ~ Lower Diabetes and Heart Disease Forever As A Result. Fat people do not live as long, this is called "Natural Selection". You're either part of it or you're not.

Maureenissadandfat on October 02, 2013:

Maureen, your rant was just plain and ridiculous. Men are not going to change what they are attracted to. Fat women are not attractive. Too bad you don't like it. Call men "shallow" and "cruel" all you want, it won't change a thing. So, now stop complaining and go lose some weight Miss Piggy!

Maureen Carey from Cleveland, Ohio on September 17, 2013:

. I know because I've heard this my entire life! Then men wonder why they can't find a nice girl who will be their confidante or best friend and more! You can't find someone like that if you are constantly basing a woman first on her weight! Give the fat girls a chance!!! We may have extra cushioning, but we can do everything else like the skinny or average woman! Maybe even better!

I don't want to generalize fat or thin women, but I find that fat women often have more of an appreciation for food. Go figure! Most men also have an appreciation for food. What's that saying, "the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach"? I think this is true. Every man I've dated appreciated my amazing baking and cooking skills and if you asked them what they missed about me, they would probably first say, "her tacos and burritos". Well, you would think maybe this would keep them, but sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you want it to turn out.

All I know is men need to change their perception of fat women and give us a chance. Men need to stop being so obsessed with looks and dig deeper into who a person is. I recently joined an online dating site and so far all I've attracted is men my father's age or older. Yuck, I think it is gross to date someone my father's age! I think you are much more compatible with someone your age or within a few years. Maybe that's my shallowness rearing its' ugly head! Anyway, this online dating situation proves to me that men just don't like fat women.

Just to prove this theory of mine, I posted pictures of myself when I was not so fat. The elephant in the room is the statement I make in the "What are your personal goals" section. I state that I'm overweight and one of my personal goals is to lose weight and get healthy. This is what men read and then they run!!!! If you're a man, stop acting as if you've never done this. Face the truth and stop blinding yourself. You are shallow!

To make things worse, the site I joined is a Christian dating site and I thought Christian men would be less shallow. Goes to show you being a Christian doesn’t change people’s shallowness. This is quite

Okay. Let me just say it like this! If men can't accept all of you, then they don't deserve any of you. Men think that it's okay to be shallow, as some of the men on here seem to think. But it's wrong and insensitive as well. Let's say that a woman is overweight so a man doesn't want her,,but the moment she drops 50 pounds, he's suddenly all over her. She's basically the same person inside, she just lost the weight. That goes to show you that he's not really interested in her as a person, he's interested in her body. Because if he was interested in her as a person, he would have gotten to know her a long time ago before she lost the weight. Men like that are transparent and you can see right through them, my advice is to steer clear of them and find real men.

As far as Christian men go, if they are only interested in women who are thin and skinny and meet society's standards of beauty, then that is wrong as well. As Christians, they are supposed to imitate the example of Christ who was never superficial. He doesn't care what you look like, dress like, or how much weight you have put on. All He cares about is the condition of your heart, of your soul. Everything else is irrelevant! Let me repeat that! Everything else is irrelevant! To make someone feel that they are somehow less deserving of love, time and attention because of weight is sin. Christian men must learn how to overcome this sinful world and are commanded to love everyone. If a Christian man is shallow, then He is not acting from love, but out of lust. No one has the right to make anyone feel bad about themselves or to make them feel unwanted and unlovable for any reason.

Is a fat woman less attractive than a thin woman? Certainly not! But these are the lies that the world would have you to believe.

Lie 1: You are not worthy of my affection until you lose some weight. You are worthy of affection. Weight alone doesn't equal how lovable or "unlovable" you are. We live in a very shallow, evil, cruel and secular society that feeds on everything the media says.

Pornography is a sin.

Robert, shame on you for calling her Miss Piggy. This only proves my point how stupid some men can be. Would Robert like it if he was put down because of his looks, weight. etc. No!

Men being visual creatures is only an excuse to justify shallow and cruel behavior like Robert's. While it's good to look presentable, you shouldn't allow anyone to beat up on you because you don't look like a supermodel. Men need to learn to grow up and stop dealing all the hate!

Stephanie Kjaerbaek on September 06, 2013:

If you want a thin woman to have four kids with, why? I would say a Russian tank would be better. That 'thin, hot, petite, tanned, toned' chick will be fat with flabby tissue, a protruding stomach that makes her look six months pregnant, covered in C-section scars, with stretch marks (real nasty ugly deep bleeding ones that look like a car accident/burn) from breasts to knees. The vagina will never be the same. There will be spider veins, flabby tissue, (no flat stomach), a bad back, saggy body parts, a hernia, constipation, hemorrhoids, vaginal scar tissue, episiotomies, shrivelled-up dry, saggy small breasts, baldness, melasma, bad acne, and an extra fifty pounds. Never really understood the point of picking out a 'thin, attractive' woman because 'of her genes' for 'making babies'. Why do men who like thin women want babies? She ain't going to be thin for the four pregnancies and a year or so after that, most likely never. Can't see the appeal of a thin woman pregnant four times to a man who is a 'visual creature'. What is visually appealing about destroying a good-looking woman's appearance? They also want women who 'eat like men' but 'look like Pamela Anderson'. I think not.