CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

With the largest city in Australia now running at about 30% capacity due to COVID-19 social distancing measures, a large number of usually easily-ignorable dysfunctions of day to day life in Australia have been highlighted.

In an even weirder twist, some of these stark inequalities have even been resolved.

The first nagging issue to be addressed with the napalm of emergency pandemic policies is the near impossible prospect of living on NewStart payments in 2020.

Both the Liberal NSW Government and the newly socialist Federal government have been quick to double payments to Centrelink recipients currently in lock down due to COVID-19, as well as offering wage subsidies for employers and free childcare for frontline workers.

One issue that remains stagnant however, is the issue of the Australian housing shortage. As usual all levels of governments appear to be dragging the chain on residential renters rights in an economy that has propped up by a hysterical housing market in all major cities for close to a decade.

However, one potential time bomb that may force the hand of policymakers in these uncertain times, is the issue of the cracking high-rise developments in Sydney.

As has been constantly reported by independent expert over the years, Thousands of new high-rise buildings are at risk of cracking like Sydney’s Opal and Mascot Towers.

Residents of hundreds of appartments in the dodgier councils out Sydney’s inner-outer suburbs have been evacuated over the last couple years – after concerns were raised about the structural integrity of their buildings due to giant cracking sounds in the front facades and car parks.

With the entire nation urged to stay at home unless absolutely necessary, any more evacuations could result in a real headache for the government officials that encouraged these rushed projects.

“On top of everything, that would just be the absolute pits” said NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian today.

“We’ve got COVID-19-infested cruise ships floating off the coast, we’ve got backpackers partying in Bondi… and on top of all of that, any number of these luxury apartment buildings could collapse at any minute.

“My advice to any of the people who were unlucky enough to buy a slice of the high-rise Australian dream in one of these buildings over the last couple years…”

“Get on your knees and pray”

“Because that’s what I’m doing. And that’s coming from a lapsed Armenian Orthodox. So you know I’m serious. Pray like you’ve never prayed before”

“But other than that… Make sure you wash your hands”

Even though only about 20% of these units are owner-occupancies due to foreign land-banking, and despite the fact that most of the builders that had them rushed through council are now at the bottom of the Harbour – The NSW Government remains confident that ,with prayer, these developments will remain completely structurally sound, despite being built on a sinking foundation of Botany Bay sand and plastic landfill.

“At least we fucken hope they do haha” said one NSW Liberal MP who chose to remain anonymous while speaking to the Betoota Advocate via the phone from his multimillion dollar holiday house today.