Pika's deal is even better than LeBron's

I sure do love these little pocket monsters. I wish I could have one in real life! Only instead of living in a ball, I’d like it to sleep at the foot of my bed. And instead of looking like something that emerged from MKUltra, I’d like it to conform to a basic uniform appearance unchanged for thousands of years. And instead of teaching it combat commands, I’d want it to ignore everything I say and paw vacantly at invisible bugs. And instead of loyally defending my street cred as a trainer, I’d like it to regularly vomit its own hair on my new rug. And instead of evolving into more powerful characters, I’d want it to take a dump in an indoor sandbox at 3:30am. Sigh. Well, it never hurts to daydream, eh?

Back to top