The thing is, our ‘two-tiered legal system’ is usually boring: hidden, systematic and incomprehensibly complex. Very few people enjoy sitting down and plowing through a 10,000-word report about regressive taxes and carried-interest loopholes for Equity Bros. That’s a big part of how elites get away with it: People know, but it doesn’t register.

The elites have different rules for taxes, passports and immigration, subsidies, civil law, real estate, everything, even airport lines. But it’s wild — all that other corruption still wasn’t enough. These gross mothers had to flaunt their privilege in the one single realm of law that the common rabble could sort of comprehend: criminal justice.

This isn’t about a missing comma on paragraph 3 of page 993 of an appropriations bill, which somehow results in Raytheon getting a billion dollar contract. No, this is about stuff that we know from TV crime shows. The average dummy can put together a mental picture of what would happen to HIM if he got caught with over 80 child prostitutes, and that picture involves a little more than spending a year in a prison (a prison from which you get to commute to work every day [and your job is looking at more child pornography]). This one time, the double standard is simple enough to understand, the crime is gross enough to care, and sexy enough that the billionaire-owned media won’t be able to stop reporting on it to save their own neck.

And the corruption here goes beyond just being comprehensible — it’s totally overdone, like a bad political cartoon. It’s literally the most powerful men on earth setting aside their differences to molest children from working families in a bi-partisan fashion.

It’s got old Dominique Strauss-Khan like, “Jesus, these Yankees lack my Continental sophistication and subtlety.”

But it’s not just individual corruption exposed here, or even child rape. It exposes something so unthinkable to the political reporter-and-pundit class that they’d rather watch child porn than deal with it: the scandal illustrates in the most vulgar and literal way how the two-party system works, who it works for, and what it results in.

With laser-like precision, the scandal zaps the narrative we’ve been fed since birth: ‘Democrats and Republicans represent the outermost limits of adult, serious debate’. It turns out that these ‘rival’ politicians have a lot more in common with each other than with us . . . and what they have in common is very outside ‘the limits of serious, adult debate’.

So that’s one unspeakable.

Here’s another unspeakable: Even the elites that would never touch a kid — they still like being above the law in general. Who wouldn’t? Not to be all Karl Marx, but if there’s serious attempts to bring Epstein/Clinton/Trump to justice . . . even non-chomo elites will see this as an attack on themselves; an attack which is more scary than just taking their money — their safety is now at stake. So expect them to obstruct justice even harder than they’re obstructing Bernie’s economic reforms.

Epstein himself going away — not a big deal. But the if the focus turns away from him to

a) how the 2-party system is kayfaybe, or

b) the general corruption of the legal/economic system which allowed Epstein to prosper in the first place . . . .

Well then, now THAT’s an existential crisis for elites (both chomos and non-) . . . The safety. The privilege. The insulation. Even those appalled by Epstein won’t be in favor of doing away with the two-tiered system of justice in general.

This circle-the-wagons solidarity is what’s behind rumors like Pizzagate or the Illuminati, but it’s just mundane class interest at work. Regular people would prefer to think of it as involving capes or rituals, because even that stuff is familiar to us from movies. The reality is even more alien.

The reality is a Hollywood mogul eating pastries at brunch and asking himself, “Why did I find out that Brian Singer is a pedo AFTER I founded a 600 million dollar company with him? Why does everything bad happen to ME? Sure, I’m appalled at what he did to those boys, but am I throw-600-millies-away appalled?!?”

In other words, even Illuminati stuff is more within the average Joe’s realm of experience than the mundane, day-to-day calculations of billionaires. That’s the degree of economic inequality we’re talking about here, which is kind of wild.

But fortunately for the Lolita Express Class, they own the media - whose job it is to deflect public anger away from these two Unspeakbles, and towards sentiments like, “Never mind MY president, let’s all go after the OTHER president, the disgusting pig! Now THAT guy is from a country which needs systemic reforms!”

The question is, though: why did the cops move on him now, so many years after his release?

I mean, we know the official pretext. But if you’re a Fed soldier, you don’t move forward on something that might implicate your boss (the President!), unless you get the go-ahead from one of these OTHER above-the-law types. But within this above-the-law class, who would be so desperate to get rid of one particular enemy that they’d risk exposing the whole shebang?

I mean, the incandescent anger people feel at child molesters, that’s a hard genie to put back in the bottle. That’s the kind of thing that unites people.

Whoever’s behind Epstein’s arrest. . . do they think that after they get what they want out of it, they can make people forget that elites casually molest kids? The same way they get us to forget our older, depressing, ongoing wars . . . in favor of newer, cooler, woker wars?

I have no idea . . . so let’s move on to wild speculations about what might happen, should proof emerge that specific world leaders are part of a child sex ring.

I can imagine some conservatives might flip to the populist left: it’s much easier to scapegoat immigrants or black people when the rich are invisible (or thought of only as ‘job creators’). Much harder to scapegoat when this is not the case: Hard to argue that welfare moms or ‘illegals’ were forcing all those politicians onto that plane.

Ditto hippies.

On the other hand, I can imagine some affluent Dems might flip the other way: “Look, we NEED some elites to be above the law, to prevent the deplorable mob from wrecking everything. We need technocrats who can objectively solve problems. Let cooler heads prevail! Like Hamilton said in the Federalist Papers. We loooove Hamilton, don’t we, baby? WE’VE done pretty well under the status quo, and we’re woke! Which proves it’s a meritocracy and therefore fundamentally just. So instead of changing things around all willy-nilly, why don’t we just codify the existing two-tiered system into law and keep going as normal, minus the molestings?”

But regardless of what idiot pundits say, most people would flip the eff out if they got evidence that pols were raping children. So it remains a mystery to me why anyone at that elite level would risk arresting Epstein and exposing the evidence. . .

But maybe it’s not some elite politician playing 14th dimensional chess! Maybe it’s not some spy doing weird coup stuff because of some batshit spy ideology. Maybe Epstein arrested himself!

Stay with me here.

I ask you, is it possible that an incredibly wealthy and infamous white-collar criminal, with no muscle, might get extorted by more conventional gangs? Maybe they were asking for money at first, but then realized: this guy is sitting on a trillion-dollar blackmail goldmine, and he’s not even using it for anything except staying out of jail.

BOSS: Waste of resources!

GOON: We’d put that goldmine to good use, huh, Boss?

BOSS; That’s right, Lefty. He can fix the legal system, but he can’t fix US.

GOON: Let’s pay that man a visit, Boss!

If it went down like that, Epstein would be in a peculiar bind: no matter how much money he pays, it doesn’t matter because now the goons want the actual evidence. But he can’t give up his monopoly on the evidence — it’s the only thing keeping him out of jail. Catch-22.

So here’s what I’m saying: wouldn’t it be funny if Epstein turns himself in, just to get Protective Custody? And both Clinton and Trump are like, “WHAT THE FUCK GET THIS MAN OUT OF JAIL”, but Epstein was like, “No, I belong here, I’m a bad boy.”

Wouldn’t it be hilarious if the whole political system was destroyed by a pedophile accidentally, as a side-effect?

I mean, shit. Half the country already believes Russiagate, anti-vax, or that Kenya did 9/11. . . And the only reason it’s not ninety-nine percent of the country is because people still have some faith in the system.

But if Childsex Island videos surface, causing American paranoia to increase by an order of magnitude — try, in THAT environment, to convince people that Epstein wrecked the government on accident.

That’s what I think will be funny.

Imagine someone, in that environment, convincing people that there was no ideological motive behind the government collapse: not Russia, not China, not hackers or fascists or monarchists or crust-punks or anything — just an unintended side-effect of a single asshole trying to live another wretched, undeserved day?