Originally by Situation Theatre 29/06/2015

Updated and republished 4/6/2019, 4/5/2020, 16/09/2020

The leader of the united party will be called “ScoBo”.

For at least two decades we have all suffered through the charade that we live in a viable two-party democracy. That sham has come to an end with Labor admitting their neoliberal programs to sell out workers, dilly dally on climate action, demonise asylum seekers, and discriminate against Indigenous Australians will be more easily achieved by joining the Coalition. As the old saying goes, if you’re pretty similar to your enemies, join them and you can more easily ruin the country.

If the light on the hill dimmed when Kim Beazley backed the introduction of offshore processing in 2001, it vanished with the Malaysian and PNG solutions. Labor's other positions on the NT intervention, citizenship, sexual abuse on Nauru, boat turnbacks, surveillance, civil liberties, police powers, Israel, military spending, trade, lobbying, donations, The Greens, corruption, migration, coal, and gas, prove their new commitment to extinguishing lights on hills everywhere.

Thankfully with this latest merger announcement at least they have shown the courage to own up to their own malevolence. By officially joining the Liberal Party, Labor will finish the job and turn out the lights on Australian democracy.