I’m 18 months into a relationship and my insecurities are driving us apart. My ex abandoned me and my children out of the blue – he had a double life. This knocked my confidence, so I spent six years rebuilding my life and making a lovely home for my children. I met my new partner 18 months ago and he’s wonderful and our children get along brilliantly. Recently, however, he went out with a group of mates and didn’t come home. When I asked him about it, he said he’d gone back to a friend’s house with the friend, his partner and another woman. He told me he used to fancy this woman, but nothing happened and he would never cheat on me. However, my confidence is shattered. I want to trust him but he chose to go back with this woman instead of coming home to me. The fact he admitted he used to be attracted to her makes me feel threatened, as I’m not convinced you can turn those sorts of feeling off. I feel as if he’s betrayed me. I’ve asked him not to do it again and he says he won’t, but every time he goes out, I’m on edge. He has lied to me about money and I’m finding it hard to trust him. I don’t want to get hurt again, but I don’t want to throw away an otherwise good relationship.

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