As this website is all about changing you, for the better, how can we use reframing NLP to bring negative aspects of yourself into a more positive light. There exists a “Six Step Reframe NLP Technique” that i will share with you now. This will help you to alter your perception of the events in your life, past and present.

STEP.1 – Identify a troubling behaviour or response, something you would rather not do or feel.

STEP.2 – Establish communication with the part creating the unwanted behaviour or response. Ask if it would be willing to communicate consciously. This communication might be a sensation somewhere in their/your body, a picture, voice or sound.

When you get a signal, first thank the part for responding. When we have fought against particular behaviours within our minds, they can feel a sense of alienation from you, so it’s useful to be polite and this acts as a means of programming what is essentially a part of your brain.

STEP.3 – Find the positive intention. Ask the part “What do you want? What positive thing are you trying to do for me? The key here is to recognize the difference between the parts intention and the way it is going about getting it.

Have you ever tried to be helpful and the person misunderstood your intention and got annoyed? How does it make you feel? Are you likely to help a second time?

Our unconscious parts feel the same. Here they are doing the best they can to achieve something for you. Is there thanks or even appreciation? We might have a long history of fighting and shaming this response.

If a neighbour repeatedly told you what a worthless lazy bum you were for not cutting your gardens grass more often, would it inspire you to cut the lawn? I have no idea why many of us think shaming works to change behaviour It doesn’t work for me.

Assuming that this aspect of self has a positive intention can create rapport and therefore makes it more willing to cooperate.

STEP.4 – Ask for help from their/your creative part to create three alternative ways to get the intended outcome.

STEP.5 – Have the part evaluate these new choices. Are they acceptable? Will they be as good as or better than the previous behaviour? It needs to be willing to try them out for the next month or longer if appropriate.

The key here is negotiation. If the part with the unwanted behaviour is not happy with these alternatives, it is unlikely to give them a go. If you have ever agreed to something because you were bullied into it, you’ll know how important willing commitment is.

When the alternatives are not acceptable, go back to step 4 for better choices.

STEP.6 – Check for objections with other parts of ourselves. When we change behaviours we can affect other people as well as aspects of ourselves. Even changes we think are fabulous have unintended consequences. We get our new car, but our golf clubs won’t fit in the boot.

If there are objections, put them through the same process from step 2 – what is the positive intention etc?