[CW: transmisogyny, murder, assorted violence, allyship]



This trans woman is hungry for change, not your positivish word salad.



It seems like I’ve been told a million times that I’m “spreading hate” when I complain that smiling cis gladhands are dehumanizing and patronizing trans women constantly. I make direct complaints to cis queer people about the way they derail and ignore trans women and enable violence against us. In return I have a lap full of regurgitated chicken soup for the queer soul. I’m super-pissed and I have every goddamn right in the world to be so. The way trans women are treated even by our supposed “allies” is seriously messed the fuck up.

It seems everywhere I tell cis queer people and transmasculine people how their politics and spaces are kinda shitty and inadequate to the needs of trans women, I’m met with some kind of dismissal that reads like it came out of the pages of a textbook on how to defuse tense situations. “Tell them you care about their needs.” Every time I try to open my mouth, someone is ready to talk over me with fuckbag rhetoric about “having a dialogue” and “working together.” Asshole, having a dialogue starts with actually shutting up for a second and listening to me.



Publications like Proud Queer Monthly post actual TERF opinion pieces in the name of “meaningful and mindful discussion” (Courtesy of Melanie Davis who seems to have a lot of TERF friends). Melanie Davis let her buddy Renee LaChance try to justify the transmisogynist concept of “women born women” to the absolute horror and disgust of me and other trans women. This is not a dialogue but thinly veiled hate speech. But cis queer women rally around “discussions” like this derailing anything trans women have to say with “calls for compassion”. They’re helped by trans men, like Laird Young (“Laird” is Scottish for “misogynist asshole”)who works at an organization called Trans Active here in Portland, who told me, an actual trans woman, that I didn’t know what I was talking about when I expressed my dismay at the fact that a queer publication was literally giving a platform to someone who represents a hate group.

It absolutely frosts the shit out of me that cis people MURDER trans women at astonishing rates and supposed allies can barely lift a finger to even try to stop the violence which they’re rubber stamping every time one of them misgenders us in some new subtle way. Of course we’re angry, shitheads! ( Cis people are especially violent to trans women of color, who are more vulnerable because they don’t have the societal privilege that protects white trans women.) Queer advocacy organizations seem to be especially good at dishing out prevaricating bullshit in the name of “progress”. We “identify” as women. We have “preferred pronouns”. We have “gender identities”, whereas cis people actually get to be their gender and have their pronouns. Cis people spread the idea that they are “genetically” or “biologically” male and female and we’re living some kind of fucked-up-ass fairy tale that only the kindly “ally” cis people will humor us with. These ideas dehumanize trans women and help cis people murder us. Cis queer people, please, pull your heads out of your asses and really read that again: These ideas dehumanize trans women and help cis people murder us.

The HRC publishes awful pamphlets on the needs of cis people who must live through the absolute HORROR of having a trans relative. How can they cope!!? TV shows and movies stealing our lives and making jokes of us receive great acclaim and awards while we’re sitting around scratching our heads and blistering with frustration. Trans men and transmasculine people are packing women’s spaces to the rafters and have effectively destroyed women’s spaces (which trans women are still kept out of nonetheless).



Warm word salad isn’t good enough. We starve for real acknowledgement and change and all we get is dumpsterfuls of happy handwaving feelgood trash served up with staggering insults. We deserve better. Queer organizations that supposedly represent us should be screaming loud and clear that biological sex is not a real thing! That HRT and easy legal services for name changes should be accessible to every single trans person who needs them. That women’s shelters should never get away with turning away a trans woman in need. That we are not responsible for our oppression (or for freeing ourselves) and that we’re human beings. That trans women of color need protection and whatever the hell anyone can do to stop cis people from murdering them at utterly alarming rates. And they need it yesterday!



“Why are you so angry?” they say. Mother fucker, look around you! Cis assimilationists cry about call-out culture, because they’re rapidly running out of things that need calling out It’s simply too much work to listen to someone whose problems don’t affect you directly. They’ve got theirs. Cis queers sit around with their thumbs up their asses, watching the states roll in with marriage equality while bills making bathrooms officially off-limits to us blossom, festering backlash for their victories. They call my lack of “I” statements violence when my sisters pay a price in blood for their orgiastic assimilation. And I wonder if they’ll be there in the coming years as the right wing takes its toll on us because they can no longer get to you, my cis queer “allies”. Or will y'all be busy shoving raspberry layer cakes in each others’ smiling faces while my sisters bleed red out on the cold concrete?