What did you accomplish by lying?

You destroyed us. You destroyed me. With your lies, deflections and betrayals. Your justification of, “If I told you the truth, you wouldn’t understand.”

At least it wouldn’t make me cry. At least it wouldn’t make me doubt your every move. But with my first forgiveness under your belt, you continued to lie and lie. And then the ultimate. The deal breaker. Which you pinned on everyone. From me to a co-worker to instability in your life.

But I remained your main victim. With taunts of, “You were never there for me.” Your mantra whenever I tried to discuss the issue. With an ironic reminder that if I tried to even the score, we were done.

You made me doubt everything. Who I was. Was I was good enough. Pretty enough. Thin enough. Smart enough. Everything. Worse, you deflected your shame onto me. And still worse, I accepted the blame – and I justified your actions.

Thinking, maybe I wasn’t there for you. An absentee partner. With a full work schedule. No time for friends, let alone you. Maybe I was being too harsh, too judgemental, too “insert faux justification here.”

But it wasn’t my fault.

However, I love you and I wish you well. You’re not a horrible person. We could write chapters about our good times. Sadly, the bad times cast a long dark shadow over the pages.

I hope you discover why you pull lies from the air. Concoct stories without feeling guilt or shame. Why you loathe lies, unless they’re your tall tales. I hope you learn the reasons behind those whys and the lies. Because they ended our relationship.

And that is what you accomplished by lying.

Always,

Tessa