MARK Hughes has defended QPRs start to the season, saying they are technically above the top of the second division.

The QPR board had criticised Hughes’s decision to use a copy of the ZX Spectrum game Football Manager to organise his tactics.

However, after meeting with Hughes to discuss his latest decision to have the team pass the ball to Taarabt under every single circumstance including taking a penalty, the board have allowed him to continue in his role, citing morbid curiosity about where this is all going.

Hughes justified his position, saying: Soon, opposition teams will feel so secure theyll only field half a dozen YTS players.

“Then we will strike, using my patented tactic of having the front two distract the goalkeeper by starting a conversation about the X Factor while a midfielder tiptoes past with the ball.

But until then were still sitting pretty above all those losers in the Championship until at least May, as my colleagues assure me theyre not allowed to relegate a team until the season actually finishes.

QPR face Manchester United at Old Trafford in their next game, forcing bookmakers to consult with theoretical mathematicians to provide a sufficiently large number for the odds against an away win.

Hughes added: Just knowing that the only viable alternative is Harry Redknapp gives me a real sense of job security.”