Quotes

Let us be frank, gentlemen. Killer herds of undead grazing animals? Battle donkeys? Identical goblins? Dedicated necropoli? Artifice barrels? Slime lakes? Shit monsters? Forgotten beast incursions through artifact gem windows? Anti-gravity miners with fey moods?



Battlefailed is 2010's Boatmurdered.



Together, through combined effort and force of will, we have created something to compare to that cthonian abyss from which so many dwarven legends have sprung. We have forged a new level of hell.



And it's not even over yet.



My god... this was a terrible idea.

My adventurer scout died rather quickly. I don't want to talk about it, it was like something H.P Lovecraft would write.



EDIT: I just told my mother about this fort. She got two impressions from it:



1) "That doesn't even sound salvageable."



2) "Random Primal Horrors would be a great name for a rock band."



Flavourful Introduction

Statistical Introduction

The Blueness of Malodors

The Plain of Ooze

Last Living Save

Final Save

"Ber! Ber Betanlorbam!""yes m' queen?""Do you know why I have dragged you into my throne room.""Eh...Is it cause ye' caught me in bed with yer daught-""Yes! Mr. Betanlorbam!""I can explain m' queen, with a beard like that I coulda' sworn she was a dwarf-""Silence! I've put up with your kind for long enough, with your drunken revelry and your unkempt facial hair!""yer daughter wishes 'er beard was braided lik-""Silence! I'm sparing your miserable little life for now Betanlorbam, perhaps you could show some gratitude."Yes oh glorious Led, jewel of the obsidian towers of Graspedseduce, flower of the goblin's grave etc...high strung bit--"That is why I'm financing your little trip.""My what?""That's right Ber, you're going on a trip, straight to the Blueness of Malodors in fact""What're ye' talkin' 'bout ya' crazy broa-?""I encourage you to take as many of your brethren with you to start your new dwarven paradise halfway across this Windy world""Jus' wait a minut' he-""We'll supply you of course, picks, axes, liquor, whatever will get you hairy ragamuffings out of my sigh-""ye say ye'll giv' me booze?!""ahem. yes.""I'll do it!"We'll be starting here, halfway betweenandboth terrifying biomes.The map contains little fresh water or abilities to get stone (it's not impossible) and all of the wildlife will likely be hostile undead, meaning we can only eat what we grow and only drink from wells or booze. I am predicting zombie whales in the future so be on your toes.Fun Fact:This world was genned remarkably hot and dry, with the maximum number of titans and an unreasonably low set parameter for attracting their attention (around population of 30 I think).