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A retelling of the story of Ape Paradise by renowned Spanish comedian and actor Juan Joya Borja

The Saga of Ape Paradise

00:00 - 00:05 So Jeb is getting stream sniped harder than ever right?

00:05 - 00:07 He says "I'm gonna make my own server,

00:07 - 00:10 no snipers, no racism"

00:11 - 00:16 Problem is whenever he isn't playing on the server, everyone fucks off

00:17 - 00:21 The population drops to less than 10 fucking people

00:21 - 00:24 Dead server

00:29 - 00:31 Every time

00:31 - 00:34 I logged on once and was the only person on there

00:38 - 00:40 No snipers

00:41 - 00:47 Chat won't shut the fuck up about the population though

00:47 - 00:50 "dead server" "scripted content" "whitelist more"

00:50 - 00:56 Half of them Doria on alt accounts

00:58 - 00:59 So they remove it

00:59 - 01:01 Auto-accept Whitelist

01:04 - 01:06 All you have to do is sign up,

01:06 - 01:08 but the population doesn't change!

01:13 - 01:14 Everyone who bitched,

01:14 - 01:16 about getting whitelisted,

01:16 - 01:20 THEY NEVER EVEN LOGGED ON THE SERVER!

01:21 - 01:27 Jeb has fucking had it, goes back to vanilla!

01:35 - 01:36 Back to good old rock streams

01:36 - 01:39 Ape Paradise W H O?

01:41 - 01:44 Of course the Snipers are back

01:44 - 01:47 They are pissed after having

01:47 - 01:49 to snipe Weyln and Posty for weeks!

01:50 - 01:53 Also it's Christmas patch

01:54 - 01:56 Every naked

01:56 - 01:58 Has a pump or waterpipe up his ass

01:58 - 02:02 And all the kids are on school holiday

02:05 - 02:07 Door camped..

02:10 - 02:11 before..

02:11 - 02:13 ..he has a door

02:15 - 02:17 So he tells chat

02:17 - 02:20 "Thursday wipe night, I'm back

02:21 - 02:28 Ape Paradise will rise again, I will be playing solo"

02:29 - 02:30 they believed it?

02:30 - 02:32 They did!

02:36 - 02:39 He spent more time on Beker Melk

02:40 - 02:42 than on Ape Paradise

02:50 - 02:55 But he did eventually log on

02:56 - 02:58 And how did it go?

02:58 - 03:04 Server population was at 60, everything is fine till he kills Cam

03:04 - 03:09 Built a 2x2 airlock but still left every door in his base open

03:09 - 03:11 Cam went deep

03:16 - 03:20 He ragequit the server

03:23 - 03:26 Went to Rusty Moose and called the Ooks