Attention, Hive Citizen of Necromunda!

You are permitted a 300-second break from shift work in order to read the following. Any productivity lost will be subtracted in 10-second instalments from your sleep allotment over the next 30 days. If you are currently engaged in criminal activity, please nevertheless take a 300-second break, then report yourself to the nearest Enforcer station for prosecution and enlistment. Using this 300-second break for any purposes other than reading the following message will be punished with halved corpse-starch rations for one week/flogging based on local enforcement guidelines.

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– A use for your skills!

In the Astra Militarum, the skills that make you a danger to yourself, others and the productivity of your Hive can be properly harnessed. If you can field strip an autogun in 12 seconds and kill a man with the firing pin, we want you!

– The very best equipment the Imperium has to offer!

Every Guardsman is issued with a Militarum Issue Lasgun, one of the most powerful weapons ever produced by the Adeptus Mechanicus. Best of all, you won’t ever have to worry about running dry, as the Munitorum will supply you with ammo to last the rest of your life.*

– Fame and glory!

Astra Militarum infantry are renowned across the galaxy for their skill, discipline, and mastery of arms. Wherever you go in the Imperium, you’ll be renowned as a hero worthy of respect, and no more than 64% of your remains will be recycled for non-Ecclesiarchal purposes after termination of your contract of enlistment.

– See the sights!

A career in the Astra Militarum will take you across the galaxy. On one campaign, you could see the uncolonised frontier of the Damocles Gulf, the towering fortress-world of Cadia or the ash-dunes of Armageddon. <<NOTE TO EDITOR SAVANT: Replace these with some other planets these tainted hive-scum might dimly recognise, we’ve had some issues with confusion about previous versions of the poster – particularly the “Big C”. Also, read through these drafts more carefully, you blithering idiot – I’ve been put on execution notice for leaving markup in the text and can’t afford another mistake.>>

– Remain Informed

Every member of the Astra Militarum is issued a complimentary subscription to the Regimental Standard, an informative paper full of handy tips, tricks and news for any modern Guardsman. You’ll be among the most educated humans in the entire galaxy with the Standard on your side!

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Did you enjoy this message, Citizen? Join the Astra Militarum at your local recruitment centre today.**

++ Thought for the Day: “Every Lone Spirit Doubts Their Strength” ++

* Four (4) cellpacks – rechargeable, 30-shot capacity. Two (2) frag grenades. Further supplies rewarded based on merit/combat efficacy/continued survival.

** Following the satisfactory completion of your work shift.

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