When I lived in Chicago in 2011, I encountered "Frank" on Michigan Avenue (the Magnificent Mile) a number of times. My reaction was to assume, even though he seemed completely sane, that he had a mental problem. Now I'm ashamed that I thought that. In retrospect, his message explains a lot. If the Joe Biden we know is actually a Russian impersonator, that explains the gaffes and sometime strange behavior. Biden's sniffing of women's hair suddenly seems completely understandable, given the Russian habit of sniffing bread while consuming vodka.

Quite obviously, Biden is the Russian Manchurian Candidate. In the 2004 movie version, a candidate for vice president is discovered to have an implant connected to his brain. So, rather than substituting an impersonator, the Russians may have surgically altered the real Biden to obey their commands.

I never thought to ask Frank how he discovered what was going on. I wonder if he is still working Michigan Avenue.