As if a regular shift at All Saints' Hospital isn’t stressful enough, tonight all our favorite nurses have to do so while taking verbal abuse from God. Not the actual Yahweh. This Almighty is a disheveled mental case, shouting out his window like Statler and Waldorf from "the Muppet Show." He yells at Zoey that she has a bald spot, calls Mo Mo’s scrubs a woman’s blouse and, strangely enough, announces the time.

God’s played by Michael Buscemi. His brother is Steve Buscemi, who has directed more than half the "Nurse Jackie" episodes so far. If you’re looking for an actor who can be both creepy and scary, that’s definitely the family to start with.

After getting an earful of God, Jackie’s day starts off with a victim of multiple knife wounds. I’ve had some bad first dates in my day, but I’ve never had an ex-husband stab me repeatedly. Not yet, at least. You never know what eHarmony will bring.

Dr. O’Hara passes the patient off to Coop. That, coupled with the fact that she managed to come to work wearing two different shoes, tips off Jackie that something is amiss with her British lunch buddy. Not that Jackie has time to deal with it. She’s got her own problems to deal with, and topping off that list of problems this week is Eddie.

Eddie surprises Jackie with a Cartier love bracelet for their anniversary. Jackie is more surprised that it’s been a year than she was by the jewelry. Her reaction or lack thereof doesn’t go down well with Eddie. He strikes back by saying she’d be more interested if the bracelet were made out of pills. That seems to hit a raw nerve because Jackie leaves and takes her anger out on an alleged pedophile by jerking out his catheter without deflating the balloon. Ouch.

Jackie and Eddie retreat to their opposite corners like prize fighters. Jackie confides in Dr. O’Hara. O’Hara’s not quite ready to spill the beans on what’s bothering her, but she is ready to share the Xanax. Jackie pretends to be a lightweight and only lets O’Hara give her half a pill. Though the good doctor must have taken quite a few herself because she doesn’t notice the bottle’s a whole lot lighter when Jackie hands it back.

Eddie ends up in a similar position with Dr. Cooper, though not really by choice. Poor Coop. It’s becoming more and more obvious that he just really wants to make some friends. Eddie talks about the problem in very vague, nameless terms and ends up giving the offending bracelet to Coop, which turns out to be the perfect move to get Jackie running back to apologize.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Akalitus wanders around the hospital with an unclaimed baby trying to find someone to claim it. She never did find out who it belonged to, so I have a feeling that baby will still be around next week. For most of the series, Akalitus has only really played the part of wacky comedy relief. Hopefully she’ll develop into a bit more of a foil for Jackie in the future because, right now, Jackie’s running around unchecked.

The guy yelling from the window might claim to be a supreme being, but it’s Jackie who’s playing God. Besides her vigilante justice against the pedophile, she also ups the stabbing victim’s morphine drip enough to get him in a suggestive state and tells him to give his first date a second chance. Hard to say if that’s a good idea. Jackie’s known them all of one morning, and she ready to risk his life for matchmaking.

At the end of the day, Dr. O’Hara invites herself over to spend the night with Jackie and her family to booze up and talk about whatever it was that was bothering her. Though, for the life of me, I’m still not sure what that was. Did they ever exactly explain it? I know it had something to do with her stepfather, but other than that I’m not quite sure. Hopefully they get a reveal more next week. Though I do know that O’Hara was looking pretty good in those sweats the next day. That’s good enough for me.

— Andrew Hanson

Photo: Showtime Television

