Two days ago, Rosa had taken her things while Ryan was at work and in their place, left another of her now infamous ‘Rosa notes’. He had wadded it up, tossed in the garbage.

Then he’d let himself cry – but not for long. If Rosa didn’t want to go through this with him, then there was nothing he could do that would change that. He knew in part, it was his own damn fault.

Now, he was getting ready to hear the results of the paternity test that could – no would – change the rest of his life. His heart was already racing because he knew, this was only a formality. He hoped the thunderstorm wasn’t a sign of things to come.

When he walked in he saw Bel was already there, so he sat down next to her. “How are you doing?” he asked politely.

“Fine,” she replied and gave him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

He knew she was sad because of his reaction. “Listen Bel, I”m …” Ryan was interrupted before he could finish by someone calling his name.

“Mr. Ryan Murdock?” a man called out and then looked down at his papers, “and Miss Maribel Warner?”

Ryan could only nod and stand up.

“Yes,” said Maribel calmly and stood up with him. He knew she was ready for this to be done.

“Please come this way,” he said, “I’m Dan Thompson, the clinician and I’ll be explaining the results and answering any questions.”

They followed him into his office and sat down across from his desk. “Okay,” he said and laid out papers in front of them. “If you look here, you can see, Mr. Murdock, the results show that your DNA matches that of the baby, and it’s a 99% probability that you are the baby’s father. That essentially means you are, without a doubt, the father of Ms. Warner’s baby.”

Ryan felt a cold shiver roll through his body. He thought he was prepared, but hearing it was different. Bel had been right, and he’d treated her so badly. He was going to be a father. He was weirdly happy, yet sad and frightened all at the same time. He felt his eyes begin to burn. He hoped Bel would forgive him for being such a jackass when she tried to tell him. Ryan took short deep breaths to maintain his composure.

“Sir, are you okay?” asked the clinician, “Do you have any questions? Do you want to talk privately for a minute? Can I get you a drink of water? Sir?”

“What? Oh, yes. Privacy, please,” mumbled Ryan. The man got up and scurried out of the room.

Once they were alone Bel spoke, her voice hitching a little as she slowly shook her head. “Ryan, I … I can already feel it move. I can’t …”

“Oh thank God,” said Ryan and let out a huge sigh of relief, then he began to take several deep breaths in an effort to breathe normally again.

“You want the baby too?” she asked. He knew she would be surprised at his reaction. She bit her lip, waiting on his answer, hope shining in her eyes.

“It’s not that simple Bel, or maybe it is,” he said, trying to explain his feelings in a way that made sense. “Yes, I do want the baby. I didn’t want a child at this time in my life, but there is one and it’s weird, but, well, I want it.”

Maribel looked relieved. “I’m sorry Ryan,” she said softly, “This is all my fault. I decided before that night at the penthouse, that I wanted more with you. I even called Evan and signed the divorce papers so I could move forward with you. I knew we were unprotected but I didn’t care because I wanted you in my life. And if I got pregnant, well, it didn’t matter. But, when I found out you were with that nurse, I was devastated.

“Later, when I realized I was pregnant, I waited to tell you hoping you’d breakup, but then, she moved in with you, so I didn’t tell you. Instead, I considered terminating the pregnancy. When I went, they asked if the father knew and suggested I should tell you first. I couldn’t go through with it after that and walked out. I struggled trying to decide what to do. The one thing I knew for sure when I left, was that I had to tell you and we would decide together.

“But Ryan, I felt it move. I feel our baby moving inside of me. I’m in love with it. I can’t. If you don’t want it, I’ll take it and leave. I won’t ask for anything else of you.” She looked away, afraid of his answer.

Ryan had never seen Bel so vulnerable, raw and honest. He believed everything she said. He risked touching her to let her know he wasn’t going anywhere. “The baby moved? You can feel it?” he asked as he gently rubbed her back. She didn’t look pregnant enough to feel it move, but then she was wearing loose fitting clothes to hide it so maybe she was.

Bel looked up at him and smiled. She nodded her head and placed her hand over her abdomen. Ryan wanted to touch where she had her hand and feel it too, but he didn’t dare touch her anymore. What were these emotions overtaking him? “Bel, you don’t have to do this alone anymore,” he said as gently as he could, “We’re both responsible.”

“What about Florence?” she asked.

“Florence?” he asked confused, “You want to name the baby Florence. It’s a girl? You already know that?”

She sniffed back the earlier tears and giggled ever so slightly. “No silly. I don’t know the baby’s gender yet. You’re girlfriend. Florence Nightingale, what about her?”

“Ohhh. Florence,” he put his hand over his face and sighed deeply. “Her name is Rosa. And she left me when I told her about the baby. She couldn’t deal with it. But don’t get any ideas Bel. There won’t be an us, as in you and me. We don’t have a great history.”

Bel looked at her hands. “I’m sorry about all of that,” she said as she fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “I know ‘I’m sorry’ is hollow, but it’s all I got Ryan. This baby has been a game changer. It makes things … real … puts everything in a whole different perspective.”

She looked up at Ryan before she continued. “I know what love is now. I didn’t love Evan, or you either.” She held her hands up. “Just being honest. I was in love with lusting for you, but at the end … I wanted to love you and I wanted you to love me, maybe more the latter.” She offered him a smile as her eyes became glassy.

Bel quickly recovered before going on. “Anyway, I’ve had time to do a helluva lot of thinking. I’m selling the penthouse. I want the best for my – our – child, but the best doesn’t matter if there’s no one around to love them. So, if I’m going to be a single, stay at home mom, the penthouse isn’t feasible, but there will be love. Make no mistake. There will be lots of it, to make up for not having the best.”

“Hold on Bel,” he needed to stop her while he digested everything she was saying. He wasn’t angry, just overwhelmed. “You’ve had a few months to adjust to the idea and think this through. My head is spinning right now. Also, I want to apologize for my behavior at the coffee shop. I was just blindsided.

“In the last three days, my girlfriend left me, I found out I’m going to be a father and my twin sister’s fiancé, who also happens to be my best friend, is my baby’s mothers ex-husband. That’s some fucked up shit …” He stopped and smiled to let her know he wasn’t angry.

“You know what Bel, we aren’t going to figure all of this out here in this office. But I need you to know, you won’t be doing this alone. That much I can promise you. We need to make plans together. No more trying to figure it out by yourself, okay? You might be a single mother, but I’m also going to be a single dad, so we need to make sure whatever we do, its in the best interest of our child. Let’s get out of here. I’m starving. Have you eaten?”

Maribel smiled. “No … we haven’t,” she said and patted her stomach. She looked like a giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and this time, the smile she gave him was real.

Fuck, he thought, she needs to eat. “Let’s go get lunch and talk through your options for a new home, if you really plan on selling the penthouse,” he said.

It was still pouring down when they left, so they jumped in Ryan’s jeep. She was happy, glowing even, as she got in with him, both of them laughing because they had gotten soaked in the short distance from the entrance to the car. It was nice. Her whole demeanor had changed once she understood he wanted the baby too and was no longer upset with her.

Seeing her less stressed made Ryan happy. He felt strangely protective of her. Had she really changed from gold digger to loving mother? He figured becoming a parent does change people. Hell, he even felt more settled, which was crazy because his life was anything but. However, when she looked up at him and smiled warmly, it was easy to return it.

****************************************************************************

After his lunch with Maribel, Ryan went home and called his father. He closed his eyes and took a breath. Here goes, he thought. “Congratulations Dad,” he said, “you’re going to be a grandfather.” He couldn’t keep the stupid smile out of his voice.

“Well hell,” said his father and chuckled, “How are you doing?”

“I’m okay. Oddly calm and weirdly happy,” replied Ryan honestly. Just as he said it, the sun came out. Maybe it was a good sign. “Bel is … motherly,” he added.

Cole laughed. “That’s good. She may get grumpy towards the end though. So beware. So, I take it things are going okay with you two?”

Ryan thought for a minute. “Yes. She’s different. We went to lunch and talked about logistics. She’s selling the penthouse. Then she’s going to buy a small two or three bedroom house for the her and the baby in Newcrest. That way I’ll be close because I need to move. I figure I’ll go to Newcrest too, since that’s where I’ll build my gym. We talked about her goals and a lot about the gym. She actually had some great ideas.”

“That sounds good Ryan. You actually sound happy. I’m sorry about Rosa though. I’m sure she would’ve been a great mom.”

Thinking of Rosa hurt. “She would have, but she didn’t want to be, not to this child. But one day, she will be a wonderful mother. It just won’t be to my kids. I don’t think she’s mad a me, but at the situation. Well, maybe a little mad, because it is partially my fault. Honestly Dad, it’s much easier not having to worry about her being jealous or angry. Now I can focus on Bel, the baby and my gym.”

“Maybe it was for the best then. The child is the most important thing right now. But Ryan, don’t jump in with Maribel too fast. You said it. She’s changed, but is it a permanent change? Maybe you can co-parent, but perhaps not cohabitate.”

“Dad, I’m not 15. I’ve already made it clear we are parenting together, but that’s where it stops. My bigger concern is Reagan and Evan. How will they feel?”

“They’ll be happy, since you’re happy. It’s your baby too Ryan. Can I tell Dannie she’s gonna be a grandma?”

Ryan groaned. “Yes. But, let me tell Rea and Evan. You can call everyone else. I don’t want to explain it 10 times. Just give me a few hours to make sure they know. Gossip around here spreads like wildfire.”

“I understand. When’s the baby due?”

“Four 1/2 months. Just in time for the grand opening of Elliott and Taylor’s restaurant. Her next appointment is next week and I’m going with her. They’ll tell us the sex and I can get a more accurate due date.”

“Do we get to meet her?”

“Oh. Fuck. I didn’t think … I’ll ask her. She may not want to. Because, Evan … But I’ll leave it up to her. Damn this really is a mess. Thanks Dad, I gotta call Rea.”

After Ryan hung up, he figured he owed Reagan and Evan an in person visit, rather than a phone call. He texted to see if they were home and let them know he was coming by for a minute.

****************************************************************************

“Hi Ryan,” said Evan, “come on in! Want a beer?”

“Yeah, I could use one. Thanks,” replied Ryan and followed him towards the kitchen.

“Hey!” called out his sister as she got up from the table to give Ryan a hug. “We were just looking at the calendar. Trying to figure out the date.”

“What date?” asked Ryan. Did they already know?

“For our wedding,” said Reagan beaming. Ryan was happy that she and Evan were doing so well and had put the ugly behind them. “We’re thinking in about 4 months. That’ll give us time to get everything arranged without going a hundred miles an hour. It’ll be small, like Taylor’s.”

“I told you we could do it however you wanted,” said Evan, “This is your day to shine.”

“It’s our day,” she said looking at Evan like he hung the moon. Ryan wondered if he would he ever have anyone look at him that way.

“So four months?” asked Ryan. “You might want to move it up or back a month.”

“Why?” asked Reagan frowning.

“That’s when my baby is due,” said Ryan.

“Rosa is pregnant?” squealed Reagan, her eyes lighting up.

“Not Rosa,” said Ryan. Even though he was glad it was over since she wanted nothing to do with his baby, it still hurt. “We broke up. She moved out two days ago.”

“Holy fucking shit Ryan,” said Evan, “I thought you knew better … wait no … tell me it’s not what I’m thinking.” Ryan knew Evan figured it out and he felt like crap.

“Not what?” asked Reagan confused.

Evan grabbed Reagan’s hand. “Tell her Ryan,” he said somberly.

Ryan swallowed hard. “It’s Maribel. She’s pregnant. It’s mine.”

Reagan looked back and forth between the two men. “Maribel? As in Evan’s ex-wife Maribel?”

“I didn’t know that when we were together Rea. You know that. But she’s changed. Evan, she’s selling the penthouse … for the baby.”

“I don’t give a shit what she does with it,” spat out Evan, “It’s hers.” He shook his head slowly. “Ryan, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ve adjusted to the idea. She’s going to move to Newcrest so I can be close to the baby. She almost got rid of it. I’m relieved she didn’t.”

“I’m shocked she didn’t,” sneered Evan. “Why didn’t she? To milk you for money?”

“Actually no. She hasn’t asked me for a dime or made any demands other than letting me know. Everything has been my choice. She went to have it done when Rosa moved in and realized she couldn’t do it without telling me. By the time she finally got the courage, she could feel it move.” Ryan couldn’t help but smile as he thought of his baby growing in her belly.

“Ryan. Oh my god! You’ve fallen in love with it already,” said Reagan and smiled.

“I think I have. Is that weird? Especially considering who the mother is?” Ryan still couldn’t believe the depth of feeling he had for his unborn baby. And his heart had softened considerably towards Bel.

Finally Evan spoke. “When Mari and I first married, she seemed sweet and caring, but somewhere along the way, she became more concerned about material things and her status in our group of friends than she was about us. Be careful Ryan. If you play with fire, you’ll likely get burned.”

“I’m not getting involved,” said Ryan, “just working out custody arrangements.”

“Ryan, she’s having your baby,” said Reagan softly, “you are in love with that child already. How long before you fall in love with its mother?”

“I won’t,” insisted Ryan, even though he had a niggling feeling that he was already doing exactly that. “I’ve already told her there wouldn’t be an us.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” said Reagan, “if she’s truly changed and something happens, it’s okay with us.” Then she looked pointedly at Evan. “Right Evan.”

“Yeah, what she said,” said Evan. Evan sighed deeply. “Damn, I need something stronger than a beer,” and headed over to the bar to pour a couple of drinks.

Evan walked back over and handed Ryan a glass of whiskey. “Congratulations, Daddy. To fucked up Thanksgivings and Christmases,” he joked and tossed his back.

Ryan looked at Reagan. “Not joining us?” he asked.

She shook her head grinning – no glowing. He knew that look. He’d just seen it on Bel’s face. “No fucking way,” said Ryan and looked at Evan. This time he figured it out.

Reagan and Evan exchanged a look and had a silent three second conversation. Then Reagan beamed at him. “We haven’t told anyone. Because, actually, I only found out this morning so it’s like super early, only four weeks. That’s the reason for four months. That way, I won’t be a whale in my wedding dress. But, three months is doable. Probably even better.”

Ryan pulled his sister into his arms and hugged her. “Damn, Rea. Congratulations. I’m sorry my mess is overshadowing your good news.”

“I’m happy for you too,” she replied sweetly, “I can tell you’re ready to be a daddy. And who knows. Maybe you and Maribel can have a future.”

“I’m not counting on that,” said Ryan, “but thanks for being supportive no matter what. And I’ve already told Dad and he told Dannie. And they told a friend, so it’s no secret. I won’t say anything about you guys though. Damn, at least it’ll have a little cousin to play with.”

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