In 1936 a craze for ‘Knock, knock’ jokes swept the English speaking world, and they have been with us ever since, but the origin of the joke is obscure. The oldest example that can be found is in Macbeth. Admittedly it hadn’t been smoothed into the format that we know today:-

[Knocking within]

Knock,

knock, knock! Who’s there, i’ the name of

Beelzebub? Here’s a farmer, that hanged

himself on the expectation of plenty: come in

time; have napkins enow about you; here

you’ll sweat for’t.

[Knocking within]

Knock,

knock! Who’s there, in the other devil’s

name? Faith, here’s an equivocator, that could

swear in both the scales against either scale;

who committed treason enough for God’s sake,

yet could not equivocate to heaven: O, come

in, equivocator.

[Knocking within]

Knock,

knock, knock! Who’s there? Faith, here’s an

English tailor come hither, for stealing out of

a French hose: come in, tailor; here you may

roast your goose.

Macbeth Act II, sc. iii

The porter, who is heavily hungover from the might before, is inviting three imaginary guests into his personal hell, the Farmer, the Equivocator and the Tailor. The farmer has stored his harvest in expectation of a scarcity later in the season and a higher price, but his crops have gone mouldy in storage and he is now ruined; to this day suicide is the highest cause of deaths among British farmers. This recalls Lewes Lewkenor’s story of Simon Sweres, a merchant, which takes place after a ship has been blown on the coast of Scotland by a tempest:-

Amongst the rest, one Simon Sweres, a Portuguese merchant, greatly respected in Antwerp, as well for the wealth and credit which he possessed, as also for the sincerity and uprightness[1] with which he handled the Duke of Parma, seeing, after the reduction of Antwerp, the passage of the river shut up, and the country and towns, as likewise his army, afflicted with great dearth and scarcity of corn, (rye being then in Antwerp about four and forty shillings the virendal) and withal, being daily cried upon by Trynquart the manager of the vivres, for munition and corn to victual the camp, the old store being clean consumed,[2] knew no other means than to deal earnestly with this Simon Sweres, and other merchants that had trade with Hamburg, Lubeck, and the Easterlings, which countries were replenished with corn, to make some adventure thither for the relief of their present extremity.

He among the rest[3] showed himself not unwilling to enter into an action so charitable and virtuous, so that his pains might be requited, and he sufficiently warranted, and kept free from such danger as might ensue, either by peril of sea, taking of the enemies, or loss in the same when as it should come.

To this end the Duke procured him the Kings letters of assurance in the most ample manner possible, encouraging him with faire words,[4] and many promises, to proceed, which he did with the adventure of the most part of his credit and goods, insomuch that he laded three ships, of which one was by tempest scattered from the rest, and driven on the coast of Scotland, where it perished; the other two, after many casualties and dangers, arrived safe at Dungnergne; but at that time, such was either his ill luck,[5] or the countries good luck, that upon a new plentiful year, they had such store of corn, that the price thereof abated from forty four shillings to six shillings the virendal; at which price the Kings officers having made their provision, and furnished their store, utterly refused to take that which arrived in the ships of Simon Sweres, wrangling[6] with him about the goodness thereof, and the long stay which his factors had made; whereby the poor man making suite unto the King, by one whom he presently dispatched into Spain, was forced to keep the same so long upon his own hands, that it venowed and waxed musty,[7] in such sort,[8] that he was fain to[9] throw the greatest part thereof away, without ever to this day being able to receive of the King one penny of recompence, insomuch, that he was constrained by reason of this, and other losses happening by the occasion thereof, to the wonderful shame, grief, and confusion of him, his wife, his children, and his friends, having before time lived in as great magnificence and good respected sort as any merchant in the town, to break bankerout; and I saw him at Brussels, suing to the Duke and to the privy counsel for a protection to keep his body from attachment.

The Equivocator is a Jesuit priest who is forced to lie to safeguard his flock, if arrested and questioned he was given the theological escape of being able to lie verbally to his accusers while silently admitting the truth to God. This theological issue had been detailed in Father Garnet’s A Treatise of Equivocation in 1598. Lewes’:-

But now to our Sicilian: he having by many observances found the humor of the treasurer chiefly to be addicted[10] to one especial Jesuit, above any other of the college, as both being his ghostly father, as also otherwise of very private conversation with him; and finding the Jesuit one day hearing of confessions in the church of their college, according as their custom is, kneeled down, and when his turn came uttered his confession, in the end whereof he interrupted his speeches with many sighs, as though there were something hanging in his teeth, that he was loath to commit to the utterance of his tongue;[11] which the Jesuit perceiving, with many protestations and assurances, both of his comfort and counsel, encouraged and persuaded him to reveal it, insomuch, that after a long show of great unwillingness and drawing back, he told him that he had made a solemn oath and vow to kill John de Lasture the Kings high treasurer, moved thereunto by a violent despair, whereunto his extreme and rigorous dealing had driven him. The Jesuit, amazed at so strange a speech, failed not to tell him, that the observation of such a vow was much more wicked than the breach thereof; and withal, that the performance would procure both his bodies death and his souls damnation. The soldier replied, that he knew his words to be true, and withal, that he had in his mind already forecast this and much more, nevertheless, that his mind was so strongly possessed with this despairful[12] and dreadful resolution, that it was not in his power to withdraw his thoughts from the desire to accomplish it. Whereupon the Jesuit seeing that it was not in his force to divert him from that, upon which, to his seeming, his mind had so fully resolved, requested him yet, that he would the next morning at eight of the clock meet him in the same place again, and he would confer further with him. Which the soldier promising, the Jesuit presently repaired to the treasurer, and after his solemn oath taken never to prosecute any thing against the fellow, acquainted him with what had happened, forgetting not withal to dilate[13] much of the wild countenance and amazed gesture of the fellow, and therefore wished him, not by any means to hazard a thing of so great value as his life upon the frantic resolution of a desperate soldier. The treasurer not daring to apprehend the fellow, lest thereupon danger might have ensued to the Jesuit for revealing a thing uttered in confession, and withal restrained by his oath, requested him to bring him with him the next morning, which the Jesuit not failing to do, they found a fellow ready in the hall to receive them with money, who taking the soldiers lyberanca, gave him presently satisfaction, which was of such virtue, that it assailed him of his vow.

The English tailor has ‘come hither, for stealing out of a French hose’ which is a reference to the fashion for short French hose or breeches, mentioned in a 1596 work The Defence of Conycatching, ‘blest be the French Sleeves and breech verdingales, that grants them (the Tailors) leave to cony-catch so mightily’. There is a double pun in ‘here you may roast your goose’ as a tailor’s pressing iron was called a goose and the tailors ‘goose was cooked’.

Some of the elements found in Macbeth are drawn from a play that was performed before King James at St. John’s College, Oxford, in August 1605.

James progress had taken him to Langley where he stayed at a Royal palace reputedly built by King John (perhaps it was here that the play King John was debuted?). The King arrived at Oxford on 27th August and was ‘sumptuously entertained for three days’. It would appear that the author of Macbeth was in attendance on James I at Oxford. A full account of the visit is found in Nichol’s Progresses, Processions, and magnificent Festivals of King James I. Vol. I. p.530.

The stage was built close to the upper end of the Hall, as it seemed at the first sight. But indeed it was but a false wall fair painted and adorned with stately pillars, which pillars would turn about, by reason whereof, with the help of other painted clothes, their stage did vary three times in the acting of one Tragedy. Behinde the foresaid false wall there was reserved five or six paces of the upper end of the Hall, which served them to good uses for their howses and receipt of the actors, &c. Progresses. p.538

Thomas Sackville, Earl of Dorset, (and as we have seen dedicatee of Lewkenor’s The Spanish Mandeville) now Lord Treasurer of England and Chancellor of the College, arrived on 23rd August and was met at Chrust Church with a Latin oration, which he had wished to avoid, no doubt finding it a tedious protocol. Sackville sat through the Oration ‘which he heard very unwillingly because he commandeth the contrary.’ Over the next few days Sackville oversaw the arrangements for the king’s stay, even tearing down walls to enlarge the apartments that would accommodate the king and queen.

“This I take to be the best and truest account of the King’s Entertainment that is any where extant, which, being taken by a Cambridge man, describes what was amiss, as well as what was well and duly performed. Without this account we should not have known that the King slept, or that he would have been entreated to stay, or that he expressed his dislike of any thing, by “Tush, tush, Away, away!” with several other particulars which Sir Isaac Wake thought fit to conceal, least they should spoil his panegyric. Every thing is here naturally described, and is really valuable, were it only to show the true nature of the King, which may be had from hence better than from the flattering histories of those times. He was certainly pleased with these Triumphs in Learning more than if he had gained a victory in the field. The difference is likewise observable betwixt him and Queen Elizabeth, who kept up state to the height, whereas he was rather too familiar, and, being weary of too much ceremony, dismissed the University within the walls of the City, whereas she was attended a full mile out of town, as far as their Liberties did extend. If the Queen were weary at the Comedies (as no doubt she was, they being meanly performed) she dissembled her uneasiness very artfully; whereas the King, in want of that art, could not forbear sleeping, and when he awoke, would gladly have been gone. Of Disputations he was never weary, and was so active in bearing his part, and interposed so often, that he had not time or inclination to sleep. No doubt the Queen could have shown her learning as well as he, but one solemn Speech at parting was as much as her Majesty would well allow. It may likewise be observed, that whilst the Queen was at Oxford, some time was allowed for the Lords to sit in Council, during which all other exercise ceased; but during the King’s days of enchantment there, there was no time left for Counsel (that I have observed), but the public business seems to have been forgotten. From all which, I think it may be concluded, that if the King were more learned, the Queen was rather more wise; notwithstanding the King’s thinking himself a Master of King-craft, and the Queen never boasting of that art.”[14]

The author of the Oxford University Annals, Anthony à Wood, informs us ‘it must be now noted, that when King James was entertained at Oxon, divers Cambridge Scholars went thither out of novelty, to see and hear; yet if any thing had been done amiss they were resolved to represent it to the worst advantage. Some, therefore, that pretended to be wits, made copies of verses on that solemnity, among which I have met with one that runs thus:

To Oxenford the King is gone,

With all his mighty Peers,

That hath in grace maintained us

These four or five long years.

Such a King he hath been

As the like was never seen;

Knights did ride by his side,

Evermore to be his guide:

A thousand Knights, and forty thousand Knights,

Knights of forty pound a year!

Some have said that it was made by one (Sir Thomas?) Lake, but how true I know not.’

Three little boys were dressed as nymphs or ‘artful young Sibyls’[15] who ‘put on the habit of the College [St. John]’ and alternately gave their orations and sang songs.

‘This finished, his Majesty passed along till he came before Saint John’s College, when three little Boys, coming forth of a Castle made all of ivy, dressed like three Nymphs (the conceit whereof the King did very much applaud), delivered three Orations, first in Latin to the King, then in English to the Queen and young Prince; which being ended, his Majesty proceeded towards the East gate of the City, where townsmen again delivered to him another Speech in English.’[16]

On Tuesday 27th ‘The Comedy began between nine and ten, and ended at one, the name of it was Alba, whereof I never saw reason; it was a Pastoral much like one which I have seen in King’s College in Cambridge. In the acting thereof they brought in five or six men almost naked, which were much disliked by the Queen and Ladies, and also many rustical songs and dances, which made it very tedious, insomuch that if the Chancellors of both Universities had not intreated his Majesty earnestly, he would have gone before half the Comedy had been ended.’

We know that both Nicolò Molin and Count Beaumont were in attendance on the king as Birch notes in his book The life of Prince Henry, ‘The King had the Prince on his left hand, and on his right Christopher de Harlay, Count de Beaumont, Ambassador from France, and Nicolò Molino, Ambassador from Venice.’ This would certainly place Lewes Lewkenor among the company.

‘The same day, after supper, about nine of the clock, they began to act the Tragedy of Ajax Flagellifer, wherein the stage varied three times; they had all goodly antique apparel, but for all that, it was not acted so well by many degrees as I have seen it in Cambridge. The King was very weary before he came thither, but much more wearied by it, and spoke many words of dislike’.

The play Vertumnus[17] was performed on the last day of the Royal visit,

‘That night, after supper, about nine, began their Comedy called Vertumnus, very well and learnedly penned by Dr. Gwynn. It was acted much better then either of the other, and chiefly by St. John’s men, yet the King was so overwearied at St. Marie’s, that after a while he distasted it, and fell asleep; when he awaked, he would have been gone, saying, “I marvell what they think me to be,” with such other Tike speeches shewing his dislike thereof, yet he did tarry till they had ended it, which was after one of the clock. The Queen was not there that night’.

On 30th August, ‘There was an English play acted in the same place before the Queen and young Prince, with all the Ladies and Gallants attending the Court. It was penned by Mr. Daniel, and drawn out of Fidus Pastor, which was sometimes acted by King’s College men in Cambridge. I was not there present, but by report it was well acted and greatly applauded. It was named, Arcadia Reformed’.