Chinese Astrology? I’m on the fence,

Nevertheless I’m feeling tense,

About what might be coming, hence –

Beware,

The Year Of The Monkey.

They’re predicting more sightings of The Trumpanzee,

Swinging from Texas To Tennessee,

Flinging his shit for all to see –

Ugh.

The Year of The Monkey.

In Tinseltown, there’s blood and sweat,

In The Revenant 2: See Leo get,

Bummed by a six foot Marmoset –

Yikes!

The Year Of The Monkey.

It’s four hundred summers since Shakespeare’s death,

Infinite typewriters, baited breath,

They did it, almost – Macaquebeth! –

Forsooth,

The Year Of The Monkey.

In Brazil, the Olympics are in for a jolt,

Deforestation made some creatures revolt,

A white-crested Capuchin trips Usain Bolt –

Oops.

The Year Of The Monkey.

It’s foretold that on the Queen’s 90th (soon),

Her true form will be shown, by the light of the moon,

Not a lizard at all, but a hairy baboon –

Oh.

The Year Of The Monkey.

It’s nought but a fool who roundly denies,

These augurs and predicts, as prattle and lies,

You can cover your ears, your mouth and your eyes –

However..

The Year Of The Monkey.

Better check for a lump at the base of your spine,

Can you feel yours? I can feel mine.

Fully grown tail in a few months time.

Accept,

The Year Of The Monkey.

Meanwhile in a celebrity mag,

A red-arsed TOWIE-Girl’s up a shag,

The Geordie Shoreman’s knuckles drag –

Quite.

The Year of The Monkey.

They reckon an extremist terrorist cell,

Will somehow get hold of a nuclear shell,

”Goddamn you all to hell” –

(Heston).

The Year of the Monkey.

But as always, life finds a way through it all,

A strange looking life-form will awaken and crawl,

Left behind by Murdoch and Hall –

Agghhh!

The Year of The Monkey.

So, to the last verse, but not the least,

The scope of the horror, forecast from Far East,

They say, this time it’s beauty who’ll be killed by the beast –

Help.

The Year Of The Monkey.