Though we've just barely escaped the forced affection of the holiday season, the next expectation of acceptably demonstrating human feelings is just over the horizon. Yep, Valentine's Day is right around the corner—waiting to jump out and ask you why you didn't buy it anything for Valentine's Day and what this means for your relationship—and with it our annual feature wherein a celebrity answers your questions about love, sex, and other things related to not being horribly alone.


In the past we've sought the counsel of guests like Sarah Silverman, Tim & Eric, Eugene Mirman, Julie Klausner, and Michael Ian Black, and—while all of them were great—this year we dare say we've found someone who can genuinely help you get it together in Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally. Regarded as paragons of romantic love around these parts, Nick and Megan have an enviable marriage full of mutual respect and electric chemistry, aided by their often getting high and singing about dragons. And Nick, of course, is a modern-day sage who—in addition to demonstrating weekly how to be a man via Parks And Recreation—recently toured the country with Megan to share his "10 Tips For Prosperity," the first of which is "Engage in romantic relationships." So we're pretty sure they can help you with whatever your problem is.

Email your questions to dearnick@theonion.com by next Monday, January 14, or you can leave them in the comments (though you have a better shot of being seen if you email them). We can't promise Nick and Megan will answer them all, but many of you lucky lonelyhearts will get to have their issues straightened out the week of Valentine's Day. Make them good.