Want to show up all the posers at your next roller-skating party?

Consider dropping $2,600 on the new Anya 100 Patch Pump Roller from Saint Laurent, which are 1) gorgeous and 2) exactly what would've happened if Lady Gaga had ever commissioned a custom pair of Heelys.

The stilettos, which are part of Saint Laurent's fall collection, feature one of two designs — a Roy Lichtenstein-y face or a cool snakeskin print. They're only available in stores, which is probably wise: this seems like a "try before you buy" situation.

They even have toe stops. Safety first!

Image: YSL

What a joy it will be to have an outfit nailed down for that black tie roller disco you have coming up this weekend.