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Beat It

Your wrist is telling you something, but will you listen?!

Use this: to prove to all the haters that Celine was right: your heart really does go on.

Don't use this: if your wrist is made of titanium.

The feature that they don't want you to know about: this thing steals every 3,049,857,383rd heartbeat.

If this were a character in a sitcom, its catchphrase would be: "Are we there yet?!"

Experts say: that they're frustrated that this thing was invented, because it means they don't get to touch as many wrists as in the olden days. What we're getting at is heart rate experts are creeps.

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