Long tucked into beanies and snapbacks, Seattle’s man buns are finally emerging from their cotton cocoons and blossoming into waves of follicle foliage just in time for the region’s slew of summer festivities.

An uncharacteristically wet July has stifled the typically timely emergence of the Pacific Northwest’s endemic hair population, but local hairnothologists expect a strong comeback.

“Despite the late start, I think we’re going to have a really strong man bun season this year,” said Thad Parker, Lead Hairnothologist at Seattle Beauty College. “The poor weather has stunted the grooming schedule of local hipsters, causing their hair to retreat back into their hats late into the season. However, this new heatwave has finally coaxed the man buns to emerge.”

As the various shades of man buns blossom, so do the mating rituals of the local males.

“Expect to see an increase in males ordering obscure cocktails for prospective mates without consulting them, as well as aggressively explaining what bouldering is to females who have already said they’ve done it,” Parker explained while meticulously grooming his undercut. “This overly aggressive mating behavior will quickly be over-corrected by quoting some affable, self-deprecating feminist schtick lifted wholesale from an Aziz Ansari stand-up special.”

Local women have meanwhile reported that their hair ties are mysteriously vanishing all over the Puget Sound region.