One of the great things about spring for any avid cyclists it the opportunity to get back to regular outdoor rides. Good bye trainer, hello open roads. As we spin into shape we tend to start talking about cycling events for the season and which ones we may want to give a go alone or in a group. It's fairly often friends and family of riders mention seeing an event in their area, but they did not quite know what to make of it.

Scott Martin, writer for Road Bike Rider, wrote a nice little commentary for bike race observers with cheering instructions. I think you will enjoy as follows:

Helpful things to shout:

---"Your teammate is bridging up to you."

---"Four riders have a 15-second lead, but two of them aren't pulling."

---"Take turn 1 wide. I sprinkled carpet tacks on the inside." (Best said sotto voce.)



Unhelpful things to shout:

---"Go faster!"

---"You're getting dropped."

---"Boy, do you stink."



How to answer when bystanders ask why you're not racing:

---"I put the 'cry' in criterium."

---"I get dizzy riding around in circles."

---"I prefer it when my skin is attached to my body."



What to yell at French riders:

---"Allez, allez!"



What to yell at Italian riders:

---"Forza, forza!"

What to yell at Spanish riders:

---"Venga, venga!"



What to yell at American riders:

---"Get outta the road, you spandex weirdoes. I'm late for work."

Know your victory salutes:

---Two arms upraised: Classic, says it all.

---One arm upraised: See above, only too tired to raise other arm.

---Rocking imaginary baby: I dedicate this win to my newborn daughter/son.

---Pointing index finger skyward: I dedicate this win to my deceased teammate/coach/bike washer.

---Pumping a clenched fist: Take that, you disbelieving team manager/cycling journalist/boy- or girlfriend who dumped me.

---Firing invisible pistol: I'm the baddest hombre in town.

---Shooting invisible bow and arrow: I'm the baddest indigenous person on the prairie.

---No salute: I hope there isn't any drug testing.