Many people who are asexual will have doubts about whether or not they’re actually asexual at some point in time. For some, it’s before they’ve embraced asexuality and the doubts stand in the way of recognizing that they’re ace, while for others, the doubts emerge after they’ve discovered that they’re ace and the doubts make them wonder if they’re really asexual after all.

Doubts are common. It’s okay to doubt. The doubts may never go away.

The doubts may usher in a new period of self discovery, or the doubts may simply be a temporary nuisance, the result of misinformation.

This series explores some common doubts that I’ve heard ace people express about their asexuality. Sometimes I will ask questions. Sometimes I will provide information. This is meant to be a guidepost on your journey, a tool to help you find your way, but it is not meant to provide all the answers. It is ultimately up to you to resolve these doubts on your own, as you are the only person who truly knows how you feel.

And it’s okay if you change how you see yourself or change how you identify after digging into a doubt. You weren’t wrong before, you weren’t faking it or lying to people. You just had an incomplete picture of who you are, and now that you know more, you are able to understand and present yourself in a more accurate way.

In general, my advice for any doubt is to take a step back and look at things from a somewhat outside perspective. How do you compare to other people, the way they act, the things they say? Are you like them, or is there a fundamental difference in your experience?