Kickers are all the rage lately! Josh Brown hit his wife and Roberto Aguayo can’t hit anything!

I laughed my ass off when the Bucs drafted Aguayo. I think as a football fan it was impossible not to, because holy shit, the Bucs spent a second round pick on a kicker. A KICKER. Goddamn, Bucs, you dumb. You so dumb.

I’ve seen plently of rationalization from Bucs fans about it, the usual type when a team does something this stupid. I tried it myself, to see the sense in drafting a kicker that high. I can’t do it. I just can’t. The arguments are not good enough. Drafting a Kicker anytime before round 3 is stupid. The Bucs were stupid. I haven’t even mentioned the best part. They didn’t just draft a Kicker in the second round, they traded up to draft a kicker slightly higher in the second round. The Bucs gave away a 3rd and 4th round pick for this 2nd round kicker. Hahahahahahahahaha Bucs. Hahahahaha. Haha. My ass has officially been laughed off. Great weight loss plan. Laugh that ass off baby.

The biggest argument I hear is the “Well if you can lock up this position for a decade, wouldn’t you do it, even if it is a kicker?” Kickers are just not valuable enough for that level of investment. It’s easy to find kickers. The gap between a Gostowski or Tucker and a Cundiff in the NFL doesn’t feel that large. It might cost you some games, but really games shouldn’t come down to field goals in the first place. Kickers are very inconsistent. Remember a few years ago when Mason Crosby couldn’t make a kick to save his life and Packer fans openly called for his head? Yeah, bad year. He’s fine now. Move along everyone. The Raiders spent a 1st rounder on Seabass and I don’t give a shit how good Seabass has been for the Raiders. They could have drafted a more important position in that first round and probably landed Seabass in the 3rd or later. QBs always go too high because of how important that position is. Kickers are the opposite. It’s a rare skill, which puts them all at about equal footing, which means you can pretty much get a decent one at any point.

After the third round? That’s fine. After the third (And even sometimes the third round itself) teams are mostly throwing darts at a wall of potential and seeing what lands where. That’s a great spot to draft a kicker. Punters and Kickers should go in the 4th more often, honestly. Great value and good chance of finding contribution there. Just not in the first two rounds. Bucs. you dummies. I laugh at every Bucs fan who defies this opinion because they are stuck in a web of their own homerism unwilling to admit their team is stupid because the move was actually brilliant (Nope). If the Bucs traded up because another team was threatening to take Aguayo, then that team is also stupid.

My roast of the Bucs complete, let’s laugh at Roberto a bit. THE MOST ACCURATE KICKER IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL HISTORY (under 40 yards cough cough a rather important caveat) is having a hilarious case of the jitters. His very first kick ever, an Extra Point (33 yards, otherwise known as under 40) and he missed it oh man that was the best thing ever. My welcome back to Football 2016 moment was that shank and it was glorious. Then, he missed a field goal in week 2! And now he’s shanking practice field goals! It’s far from panic time for Aguayo. He’ll mostly likely be fine. But after trading up in the second round because THIS GUY was apparently worth it, the misses are goddamn hilarious.

Bless you, Buccaneers, you magnificent bastards.