You've probably heard that Republican front-runner Donald Trump has a charitable foundation through which he donates to different causes. In fact, Trump's campaign claims he's given $102 million to charity in the past five years. The weird thing, though? According to The Washington Post, the Donald J. Trump Foundation doesn't really donate money from the pockets of Donald J. Trump.

To back up that claim, Trump’s campaign compiled a list of his contributions — 4,844 of them, filling 93 pages. But, in that massive list, one thing was missing. Not a single one of those donations was actually a personal gift of Trump’s own money. Instead, according to a Washington Post analysis, many of the gifts that Trump cited to prove his generosity were free rounds of golf, given away by his courses for charity auctions and raffles.

Now, look, there's nothing wrong with donating goods and services and rounds of golf. Those are worth money, too. But it's a little strange to brag about donating a specific dollar amount to charity, only to have it turn out that you didn't really donate that money so much as you let people onto your golf course. Well, the Post thought this was strange, too, so they reached out to the Trump campaign. And the campaign's response? Like Trump himself, it is rich.

When asked about The Post’s analysis, a top Trump aide acknowledged that none of the gifts had come in cash from the billionaire himself. But, he said, that was because the list was not a complete account of Trump’s gifts. The aide, Allen Weisselberg, chief financial officer of the Trump Organization, said Trump had, in fact, given generously from his own pocket. But Weisselberg declined to provide any documentation, such as saying how much charitable giving Trump has declared in his federal tax filings. “We want to keep them quiet,” said Weisselberg, who is also treasurer of the Trump Foundation. “He doesn’t want other charities to see it. Then it becomes like a feeding frenzy.”

So let's break down this logic. The Trump campaign wants to keep Donald's personal donations quiet. That makes sense...it is something someone might say in a world where Donald Trump doesn't brag about how much money he gives to charity. And why does Donald want to keep his donations private (even though we've already established that he doesn't, because he talks about how much he donates)? Well, because then charities will come after him looking for donations, of course. This makes no sense. First, charities ask for money from people whether or not they are aware that these people have donated to charity. Second, charities in New York are aware that Donald Trump is rich and therefore would already be asking him for money. Third, nothing in Trump World ever makes even basic logical sense and it's starting to make my eyes go cross. Does anyone have a doctor who can help me with that?

Do yourself a favor and read David Fahrenthold and Rosalind Helderman's whole piece on Trump's donations over at the Post.