Don’t think that when Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen go down to Mexico for a hot vacation, they spend most of their time slapping each other’s nalgas and biting at each other’s nips in the jacuzzi. Nope. The real action is on the slide! Just look at our brave, big boy go down the slide all by himself! If you’re on the west coast, your ears probably twitched from his squeals and you figured either a John Travolta was getting stuffed or a Kardashian was releasing herself from her Spanx cocoon. (It sounded like this).

And when Tom Brady landed in the pool, he got all confused and scared, and started flopping around like a drowning puppy. Gis let out a sigh, rolled her eyes, waded over to him, pulled him up by his Dutch Boy bob, blew the water out of his eyes and then put on his water wings with her other hand. After she dropped him back into the water, she felt a warmness cover her leg just as Tom started to giggle. You know what that means. No flan for dessert for Tom!