Almond Breeze is facing a class action lawsuit for false advertising because it turns out that its special almond milk recipe is essentially just almond-flavored water.


According to the company’s UK website, its almond milk is mostly spring water. In fact, only two percent of their alleged almond milk is actually almonds. Two percent. The rest is calcium carbonate, tapioca starch, sea salt, bullshit, bullshit, and more bullshit.

Salon’s Lindsay Abrams writes:

Of course, not even homemade almond milk is expected consist entirely, or even mostly, of almonds. But according to Food Navigator, the plaintiffs contend that based “upon an extensive review of the recipes for almond milk on the internet,” a reasonable amount of almond to expect is somewhere between 25 to 33 percent... And [the plaintiffs] say Blue Diamond, by putting big pictures of almonds on its cartons of the beverage it calls almond milk and using “made from real almonds” as its slogan, is “leading people to believe that the products are made primarily from almonds,” which, as we’ve learned, they are not.


The UK Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) was apparently cool with Almond Breeze’s branding since back in 2012, mostly because they figured people should know that you can’t juice almonds:

“We considered that, whilst consumers might not be aware of exactly how almond milk was produced, they were likely to realize... that the production of almond milk would necessarily involve combining almonds with a suitable proportion of liquid to produce a ‘milky’ consistency.”

Basically, almond milk is almond flavored sugar water and God is dead, bye.

Contact the author at joanna@jezebel.com .