History books tend to be kind to American presidents, often overlooking some pretty dick-ish behavior. It's a pretty tough job, so they probably deserve a break once in a while. But some historical anecdotes seem like they were omitted to avoid classrooms full of weeping, terrified children. In fact, it turns out that even the greatest presidents have some scary-ass skeletons in the closet. Advertisement

6 John Adams, Founder of (and Enemy of) Democracy Continue Reading Below Advertisement Why He's Awesome: This charming founding father was the second president. Before that he served as George Washington's vice president and helped author the Declaration of Independence. After that he got his own HBO miniseries starring the whiny dude from Sideways. The series seems to argue that Adams was totally the most underrated founding father, and that it might have been his face on the dollar bill if our nation didn't hate short ugly people so much. Oh, did we mention that he started violating the Constitution before the ink even dried on his signature? Wait, What the Fuck? When Adams found himself in the middle of an undeclared war with France in 1798, he did what any president would have done: built up the army, oversaw the construction of warships, and raised taxes. Then he went a step further and ate the Constitution. Continue Reading Below Advertisement

Adams, with his brand new Constitution Toilet Paper. Adams passed the Alien and Sedition Acts, which said American citizens were no longer allowed to say anything negative about the government, or its officials. The president could also deport any individual who was from France, or really any individual who someone heard say something nice about France. We can only imagine what John Adams thought of fellow founding father Benjamin Franklin, who spent much of the time after the American revolution banging fine-ass French shorties.