The first time we put together an application, I casually gathered a couple photos and bank statements and filled out the application. My wife looked at me and laughed at the silly white American boy she had married. It was obvious that I had never had to apply for a visa before, nor had I been questioned about whether or not what I said was true, nor that I had enough money to be somewhere. My wife buckled me in for A LOT OF PAPERWORK! Immigration told us they "need to see if we have been continuing to live together. Not just at the beginning and now.” This means every bank statement, every phone bill, every mortgage payment, every paystub, every utility bill, photos, emails, letters, notarized affidavits (from us and our friends)….and updated every time this information is requested. We have had to submit this supporting documentation that shows we are really married 5 times so far. This is easily over $100 in printing at Kinkos each time.

Stress

Having no end in sight would not be so bad if there weren’t consequences for this process continuing indefinitely. The stress is constant.

“You will come in only if I say you can come in” is easily translated to "you can be here only if I say you can be here.” When my wife stays a little long at work and I can't get her on the phone, “Does she have her passport on her? Was she picked up?” Every time she is about to cross the border back in to the US, with us or without us, “Will they let her in?” This leads to overpaying our taxes, not calling the cops when someone backs in to our car and says its our fault, constantly checking if we dotted every “I" and crossed every “t”. “Why have they not contacted us yet?”