Americans awoke Saturday to some truly surprising and disturbing news: Jeffrey Epstein, the wealthy financier pimp of underage girls to the world's rich and famous, had somehow managed to kill himself inside his cell at the Manhattan Correctional Center, despite being on 24/7 suicide watch following an alleged suicide attempt a few weeks back.

After the New York Post captured photos of Epstein's body being wheeled out of the MCC, the online rumor mill immediately swung into hyperdrive, with distinguished journalists like NYT editorial board member Paul Krugman and many others questioning the official narrative of what happened.

If we were living in a paranoid fantasy universe, I would be very suspicious about the Epstein suicide, even about whether it was really suicide. And you know what? The Epstein case itself shows that we *are* kind of living in a paranoid fantasy universe — Paul Krugman (@paulkrugman) August 10, 2019

Though, amazingly, NBC reports that Epstein wasn't actually on suicide watch anymore when he was found dead in his own cell which sounds...suspiciously convenient. There have been other unsubstantiated reports of camera malfunctions at the prison.

NBC News: Jeffrey Epstein was not currently on suicide watch when he was found in his cell this morning.



He was, however, housed in his own cell without other inmates.



Reported by @jonathan4ny and @anblanx — Tom Winter (@Tom_Winter) August 10, 2019

Notably, his death came just days after a lawsuit document dump revealed a number of notable individuals, from late MIT professor Marvin Minsky, to New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, hedge funder Glenn Dubin, late MIT scientist modeling company founder Jean Luc-Brunel, all had been serviced by Epstein's haram of underage girls.

Now, many are looking at Epstein's suicide under a veil of suspicion.

Even a former FBI agent is questioning the official narrative.

This is a frustrating turn of events. Justice for the allegedly enslaved girls and accountability for the monsters who abused them just died with Jeffrey Epstein. — Jeff Cortese (@jeffreycortese) August 10, 2019

It is certainly getting harder for people to say they’re just conspiracy theories. — Jeff Cortese (@jeffreycortese) August 10, 2019

As it turns out, a cartoon shared by us a few weeks back has proved eerily prescient.

Whatever happened, as one reporter points out, MCC is covered in security cameras, so the truth of what happened should come out...at least in theory.

4. There are cameras everywhere in MCC where Epstein was locked up. It shouldn’t be hard to figure out how this happened. — Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) August 10, 2019

Joe Scarborough certainly has some thoughts, and unsurprisingly, Russians are involved.

I don't recall many 'Russians' being on the Lolita Express flight logs. https://t.co/NWBcb34TQv — Paul Joseph Watson (@PrisonPlanet) August 10, 2019

Now, will the investigation of Epstein's suicide at least temporarily overshadow the investigation that might have revealed the names of all of his clientele (including those that traveled with him on the Lolita Express?

A fruitless 2 year investigation of a couple of lazy ass incompetent 3 AM jail guards demanded by Twitter conspiracy kooks will be a dandy cover for shutting down the current Epstein investigation and entombing all the evidence — David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 10, 2019

Anne Coulter has some thoughts...

You forgot the Masons and Bilderbergs. The Royal family can't even stop Fleet Street from mocking them on a daily basis, and the Clintons couldn't beat Trump with the entire media's help. https://t.co/EUsttOmuQO — Ann Coulter (@AnnCoulter) August 10, 2019

Earlier we noted that WSJ reporter Ted Mann questioned how the guards waited until 7:30 am to check up on Epstein, which seems surprisingly lax for a high-profile prisoner who is on suicide watch. He's not the only one who wants to know more about thesee supposedly 'incompetent' guards.

How was Epstein not on the most intensive suicide watch protocol available??? — Michael Tracey (@mtracey) August 10, 2019

And John McAfee, of all people, was one of the first to put all the pieces together.

I feel for Epstein's family, but an advantage of his "suicide" is: there is no case, and what might have been revealed at trial goes back into a closet, never to be revealed. The result: panicked politicians can now breathe easily and comfortably return to ravaging we the people. — John McAfee (@officialmcafee) August 10, 2019

On a side note, the first Epstein suicide parody account has already surfaced...

Im dead lol nothing to see here u guys — Jeffery Epstein (@DeadEpstein) August 10, 2019

So, was did Epstein use his MacGuyver-like ingenuity to spare himself from what would likely have been a 'from now on' jail sentence and the brutality that would have come with it (pedophiles are notoriously treated very poorly in jail). Whatever happened, the FBI is reportedly investigating.

I feel for Epstein's family, but an advantage of his "suicide" is: there is no case, and what might have been revealed at trial goes back into a closet, never to be revealed. The result: panicked politicians can now breathe easily and comfortably return to ravaging we the people. — John McAfee (@officialmcafee) August 10, 2019

Now, for a little black humor...

BREAKING NEWS

Bill Clinton said,”I am sure everyone is relieved Jeffrey Epstein’s torment is over and is happy he is in a better place now. I know I am...” — Walter Cronkite (@CronkiteSays) August 10, 2019

Or was Epsteein 'Vince Foster-ed' by a collective of powerful individuals whom he and his harem had serviced and/or blackmailed over the years? Especially after he offered to give up names in exchange for leniency?

As someone who was also locked up in a metro jail awaiting jail at one sad point in my life, I can say with complete confidence:



There is no chance, 0, that someone in pre-trial custody commits suicide. 0. — James D (@jamesdcos) August 10, 2019

One self-proclaimed corrections officer said on Reddit that Epstein's suicide should never have been possible.

I’m a corrections officer. This should never have been possible. During the intake process due to the nature of his crimes and being famous he should have already been on special watch. Then after the first attempt he would have been in a special cell. He would be in what we call a “pickle suit” it’s a green suit that you can’t tear or tie to anything. His blankets would be the same material. He would only get hygiene products under supervision. Only thing allowed in his cell would be a book and court papers. Then we would be monitored more closely. This is a huge failing on the jail. I want a massive investigation on how this was able to happen.

Whatever the federal government's investigation turns up, the true story might never be known.

Now, the big question: Will prosecutors let the case die with Epstein?