Sunday night was one of my better nights. The debut of Star Wars Resistance came on at 10:30 p.m. and I had nothing else going on, since no one calls me anymore. So I made some fried cheese, grabbed my ferret Misty, and sat down to watch the show together.

Honestly, I haven’t had that sense of dopamine swashing around in my brain for such a long time that I forgotten what it was like to feel happy. I’m bewildered to say that I am pretty positive Star Wars Resistance almost cured my long lasting depression.

As I watched each scene unfold before my tired eyes, I could not help but root for the new cast and I was so happy to see Poe Dameron in this episode. He saves the day like he always does from the get go. I secretly like to believe that I am part of the Resistance and that Poe and I are the best of friends. It keeps me literally breathing. Unfortunately, his scenes were brief, but I had some Xanax with me. After taking one I felt a little better about that.

One drawback though; the main character Kaz almost gave me IBS, but I think there is room for him to grow on me. IBS is no stranger to my life anyway, so whatever. We find out this kid has lived a little bit of an entitled life and his dad is a bit of a prick. My dad always belittled me at every opportunity, so I can relate. Some would say it’s weird that I hang onto his urn but I like to remind myself of who made me this way.

Kaz is a rich kid I guess. I bet he would have bullied me. Ugh, I have daily intrusive thoughts about middle school. Have you ever had the underwear ripped out of the pants you are wearing? I have. Neeku reminds me a lot of myself too; always taking things so literally, accidentally putting others into situations they didn’t ask to be in, green skin, and so on. As Misty always reminds me, the world continues to turn.

On a final note, Colossus Station and the racing got my pulse back up again. Praise Sheev! Because I could feel the darkness creeping back across the dark cavity in my chest. At this point, Misty was disinterested in the show and left me alone with the reminder of my fried cheese. Typical. Even though I don’t enjoy much anymore, if not anything, for the first time in a long time I felt a thing. Honestly, if I had any money or a job I would totally buy that red TIE Interceptor toy. I loved the crimson paint job because it reminds me that I still have blood flowing through my body.

Thank you Star Wars Resistance for giving me a brief release from the clutches of the black dog.

Nick’s Rating: 7/10 X-wings

What did you think of the episode? Please share your thoughts in the comments below and I’ll be back next week.

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— Nick Starstriker