But sometimes, they just end up looking like dongs.

Toys are carefully planned investments that companies spend countless hours developing in the hopes that children will use them to foster memories that they'll cherish for a lifetime.

15 Punisher Shape Shifters Crotch Rocket

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Wait, seriously? That's a real toy? It was so disturbing, we assumed it was Photoshop, but here's a video.



The video is also disturbing.

Man, this is not a good start. We came in assuming most of this stuff was just the result of innocent oversight, but this? Why does the projectile have to be coming from his crotch? His chest is free. His abs have a skull-mouth emblazoned across them. Why not there? If the rocket came shooting out of the teeth of a grinning skull on the Punisher's stomach, that would be terrifying; as it is now it just looks like he's happy to see you...to death.

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To be fair, this was part of a "Shape Shifter" line of toys--basically a Punisher transformer--and we're catching him in mid-transformation (we're assuming Frank Castle's transforming capabilities aren't canon). And of course once he's fully transformed the toy looks perfectly innoc-

OK, that's just...that's just horrible.