WASHINGTON—After this week’s strong jobs report, which showed a significant increase in the labor force as well as upward revisions to the job creation of recent months, leading Republicans today expressed concern that life might be getting better for the majority of Americans.

“You plan, and you work, and you take dozens of symbolic votes in the House to repeal Obamacare, and then a piece of bad luck like this just drops in your lap,” lamented Ted Cruz (R–TX). “The job growth, the improving consumer confidence, the wage improvements–it’s putting everything we’ve worked hard not to accomplish in jeopardy,” he said.

Not everyone had lost hope. On a recent visit to London, Paris, Tokyo, Singapore, and Hong Kong, Gov. Chris Christie (R–NJ) shared his confidence that “we still might see the hopes and dreams of the American public go down the pooper” in time for the 2016 presidential election. He added that he looked forward to paying a brief visit to New Jersey “just as soon as I’ve finished trips to Italy, Germany, Yugoslavia, the Soviet Union, India, and China.”

Jeb Bush, speaking to a gathering of Republican mayors as part of his regular duties as the ex-governor of Florida, enthused about an “America full of breadlines and crime,” noting that “in times of crisis, Americans will want to see a middle-aged white guy in charge, and I’m one of those.”

Rick Perry returned a call seeking comment, but could not easily be heard, as he held the phone upside down for the entire conversation.



We could have used a photo of any of these guys, but we here at twissblog have a particular fondness for Smilin’ Chris Christie, and want to use his official state portrait as often as possible.