‘Wayferring’

Here at Rocky’s Roar, our main focus is all things green and white. However, the BBC have recently been patronising non-league football (increasingly in the positive sense of the word). So, with the BBC broadcasting Malby Main vs Frickley Athletic, and thus giving non-league football a few extra drops of publicity, we decided to pay it forward and find a match from an even lower level to publicise. (Also, pay day hovers distantly, like a mocking mirage, and your correspondent is seriously short of funds. The trip to Whitstable would have stretched resources too thinly.)

With these various motivations in mind, I rode along the 700 bus route as far as the village of Ferring, not far from Worthing. Ferring FC play in the Southern Combination Football League Division Two in the eleventh tier of the pyramid, some four levels below the Rocks. They have endured a turbulent recent history. In the 2016-17 season, they lost all 28 league games with a goal difference of – brace yourselves – minus 286. The following year, they achieved one win and three draws from 26 games. They have only remained at this level for so long because of two successive reprieves from relegation. This seems to be down to a combination of ground grading issues for clubs in the leagues below, and an FA requirement to have at least 14 teams in the division to retain full status as a Step 7 league.

A new chairman and management team are now in place, and have brought players in from Worthing Brazilian Masters Youth FC. Both Ferring and Bosham had lost their first four league games of the season. Could either side pick up a precious win?

3 mins: The referee halts the game because he has just noticed that the corner flags are missing. Someone is sent to fetch them from indoors.

15’: GOAL Bosham take the lead. A quickly-taken free kick is slipped in behind the home defence and finihed by Alex Barnes.

20’ Another charming delay, as the Bosham goalkeeper asks a teammate to help him tie his laces.

23’ Pacy forward Nkanyiso Mbambo puts the ball in the net, but is marginally offside.

25’ GOAL! Bosham double their lead after a slick move is emphatically finished at the far post by Luke Gregory.

28’ GOAL! Mbambo makes a run into Bosham’s box, twists inside and is brought down by the ‘keeper. The penalty is scored and Ferring are on the board!

34’ Some mischievous scamps try to pull out some of the temporary railings that run along the side of the pitch.

37’ GOAL! Ferring are level! A free kick is cleared but is immediately hoisted back into the box, catching out the Bosham back line. Mbambo taps in his second goal of the day.

42’ Bosham’s right-back crashes into a Ferring player. The ‘scissor’ challenge is at least half a second late. The referee only shows a yellow card.

44’ A gaggle of scampering scamps are entertained by a brief outbreak of Kerlonesque dribbling by Mbambo.

HT 2-2

49’ The Ferring bench try to give their youngsters some tactical input. “You’ve gone into his hole, Kieron,” yells one of the management team, causing some sniggering.

53’ Bosham squander a free header.

67’ Pressure mounts. Ferring’s ‘keeper makes a clawing, scrambling save.

72’ Bosham’s long-haired left back pops up in the six yard box and misses an absolute sitter. An extraordinary miss.

82’ Ferring somehow survive another epic penalty-box stramash.

88’ Mbambo’s late challenge leads to an outbreak of handbags.

89’ A home defender makes a heroic last-ditch sliding challenge. Can they hold on for their first point of the season?

90’ GOAL! In the middle of a Bosham attack, Ferring appeal for handball. The referee is unmoved, the cross comes in and a glancing header from Ryan Coombes creeps into the net at the back post. Ferring’s players are furious.

90+’ Tempers flare. Bosham’s #8 makes a head movement towards a Ferring player and is shown a second yellow card. The referee has not brought a red card with him, so resorts to pointing off the field.

FT Ferring 2 Bosham 3. It’s a heartbreaking finale for Ferring, but there seem to be genuine grounds for optimism.