This story is a little bit funny, but mainly just very sad. A woman by the name of Valerie Joyce Wilson Turks is suing and seeking a restraining order against Diddy (real name Sean Combs) for a total of a trillion dollars, claiming that he “knocked down the WTC,” sexually abused her and her children and stole a casino chip worth “over 100 zillions of dollars.” Turks is also claiming that Diddy fathered her child, Cornelius Wilson, 23 years ago. Diddy, his ex-girlfriend Kim Porter and, for some reason, LAPD assault victim Rodney King are named in the suit. She is seeking $900 billion in child support and $100 billion for “loss of income.”

The whole thing is really actually very depressing, and there is no way that our government should be encouraging this sort of behavior. Still, a hearing has been scheduled for Monday, Jan. 31.

[Radar via Vulture]