(Today is the day before Thanksgiving. I went to a grocery store to grab a couple of last minute supplies and the card reader won’t scan my really old debit card. I reach into my wallet and go to hand the cashier cash when she flinches and ducks behind the counter.)

Me: “Hello, you okay down there?”

Cashier: “Oh, sorry, I thought you were pointing a gun at me.”

Me: “Why on earth would I do that?”

Cashier: “Because your card was declined.”

Me: “…”

Cashier: “Open carry.”

Me: “People really pull guns on you over ten bucks worth of groceries?”

Cashier: “Yeah, they want to make sure our freedom to be an a**-hole is protected, I guess.”

(I paid for my groceries and spoke to her manager about getting her a gift card. Grocery stores shouldn’t be war zones. Leave your guns at home!)