Really, these are six words to never say to anybody, mental and physical abilities put aside. This simple pattern of vowels and syllables has this, sometimes unnoticed, but consistently threatening power of belittling another. What words are they?

Somebody has it worse than you.

These words find the way out of stranger’s mouths, and sharpen themselves against their lips, much like a pencil to a sharpener, until the words are pointed enough to leave a mark. Wait, let me clarify. These words find the way out of the mouths of not just strangers, but also family members and friends. It is so debilitating for an individual to find the courage to discuss their issues with another, only to be verbally put down.

This phrase can be seen in many different forms from “Somebody has it worse than you” to “That’s not the worst thing in the world, let me tell you about…”

We, the individuals being told that we are not experiencing the worst thing to ever happen to mankind, already recognize this reality. We know there are others out there worst off than us, and we are not sharing our worries, our problems, in the hopes to be reminded of those struggling in worse environments. We share our feelings, our struggles, with you in the hopes that you can simply be present with us in that rare moment of us admitting our defeats. We crave compassion, empathy, and head nods in agreeance. We are not searching for war stories that would make us cringe, we are not trying to say our life is worse than those that lived through the Holocaust; there is truly nothing to compare & contrast.

Take this post as a friendly reminder that the next time a loved one, a stranger, or a classmate talks about why their life has been so rough for them lately. Take a second to listen, and be present with them in that moment. If you catch yourself wanting to discuss why their life isn’t that bad compared to another person or event, pause. Stop yourself. You can build us up without tearing us down. This loved one, stranger, or classmate bravely spoke out about their depression, PTSD, divorce, etc. without looking for more negativity.

The world will be a much better place when the day comes that individuals struggling, with any issue, can freely spill their heart out, and hear comfort from the lips of another instead of such an ugly phrase.