In what appeared to be good news for those annoyed by Christmas’ apparent creep earlier and earlier on the calendar every year, the web site The Babylon Bee reported on 7 November 2017 that President Trump had signed a law banning Christmas music before Thanksgiving:

It’s easy to focus on everything going wrong with our country, so much so that we often don’t stop to take a minute and be thankful for the good things our leaders accomplish from time to time. Take the most recent legislation passed by Congress, for instance: as of Tuesday, it is now a federal crime to play Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Any storefront, home, or radio station playing songs like “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” “Rockin Around the Christmas Tree,” or “Last Christmas” is subject to immediate search by federal authorities, who have been instructed to arrest the perpetrator onsite and bring him or her to a secret CIA facility for questioning. Upon conviction, the suspect is subject to up to 20 years in federal prison.

The article went on to note that the legislation had unanimously passed both the House and Senate, with all members voting and not a single vote against, and quoted an unnamed member of Congress waxing enthusiastic about uniting “around our hatred for being forced to listen to sappy Christmas standards.”

As should be obvious, not a word of this was true. No such vote occurred; no such legislation was passed.

The Babylon Bee, a politically-oriented fake news web site, bills itself as “Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.” Other articles on the site in the same vein include “U.S. Christians Brace for Brutal Onslaught of ‘Happy Holidays’ Attacks” and “Starbucks Unveils Satanic Holiday Cups.”

Happy holidays!