(I’m working at a popular arts and crafts store as a cashier.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, do you have a chemical, or some sort of solution, for turning clear water into wine?”

Me: “Uh… like… dyeing it to look like wine?”

Customer: *completely serious* “No. Turning it INTO wine.”

Me: “Ma’am, I think you’ll have better luck calling the church for that.”

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