Late-night hosts marked the 27th day of the government shutdown and Rudy Giuliani’s latest turn on TV.

Trevor Noah: ‘Air Force One is being operated by Spirit Airlines’

On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah balanced the serious effects of the government shutdown with its more ridiculous elements. “Funding for low-income housing is in danger,” Noah said. “School lunches are facing cutbacks. And things have gotten so bad that Air Force One is now being operated by Spirit Airlines.”

Noah turned his attention to one of the president’s most vocal critics: Cardi B. On Wednesday night, the rapper posted an Instagram video criticizing the president for summoning federal employees back to work without pay, and demanding action. “How cool would it be if Cardi B somehow ended the shutdown?” Noah marveled. “Like we find out that Trump is a major fan because Bodak Yellow is his favorite song and also the color of his hair?”

TONIGHT: There is definitely no collusion between Rudy Giuliani’s brain and his mouth. pic.twitter.com/KkFtRM69BX — The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) January 18, 2019

In other viral quotes of the day, the Trump team dispatched one of its most loyal members, Rudy Giuliani, to cable news Wednesday night with … questionable results. Speaking with CNN, Giuliani falsely claimed that he never said there was no collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia. This could be a damning admission, or it could be nothing, but one thing is clear, Noah said: “One place where there’s definitely no collusion is between Rudy Giuliani’s brain and his mouth.”

Perhaps the confusion is the point, he added. “Maybe the master plan is to keep creating so many new scandals that Robert Mueller can never finish his investigation.”

Jimmy Kimmel: ‘The saddest thing I’ve heard in my life’

In Los Angeles, Giuliani’s “Rudier than ever” appearance on CNN prompted an eye-roll from host Jimmy Kimmel. “Of course he never said [there was no collusion],” Kimmel said. “Nobody in the Trump administration ever said any of the things they say all the time.”

Kimmel then pointed to a Fox News interview in which Giuliani did, indeed, assert that there was no collusion between the Trump campaign and Russians. “The surest sign of how deeply screwed up this administration is,” Kimmel said, “is that Rudy Giuliani is still allowed to go on TV to speak on their behalf.”

The reversals and denials have become so stark, Kimmel said, that “at some point, Rudy is going to have to deny that Trump is even the president”.

In other news supporting Kimmel’s theme that “literally everyone around Trump is a character from a reality show”, the Wall Street Journal reported that the former Trump fixer Michael Cohen paid an IT guy to set up a Twitter account calling him sexy. The “Women for Cohen” account, established in 2016, was billed as “Women who love and support Michael Cohen. Strong, pit bull, sex symbol, no nonsense, business oriented, and ready to make a difference!”

“This is gotta be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard of in my whole life,” joked Kimmel. “We’re like a week away from finding out Michael Cohen had a burner phone he’d use to send dirty texts to himself.”

Stephen Colbert: ‘There was no way she was going to get through TSA’

And on The Late Show, Stephen Colbert hammered the government’s dysfunction. Specifically, he needled at Trump’s response to House speaker Nancy Pelosi’s request that he postpone his State of the Union address or deliver it in writing.

“Now, uncharacteristically, there was no response yesterday from Donald Trump. Clearly the president considered the chaos and the dysfunction that he has brought upon our government and the solemnity of the state of the union, and cooler heads prevailed,” Colbert said.

“I’m just kidding.”

Instead, the president cancelled Pelosi’s trip to visit troops in Afghanistan, aboard a military aircraft, just before it was set to leave. “Although with the shutdown,” Colbert added, “there was no way she was going to get through TSA in time anyway.”

The frustration of furloughed TSA agents has become a focal point of the shutdown, leaving security holes in America’s commercial aviation and, according to one news story, blasts of “explicit, uncensored versions of rap songs over the loudspeakers”.

Unbelievable, Colbert said. “Just when you thought you couldn’t hear more people yelling the F-word at JFK.”

Colbert ended on a positive note, though: to help those affected by the shutdown, the Late Show is selling “Don’t Even Talk To Me Until I’ve Had My Paycheck” shutdown mugs. All proceeds go to World Central Kitchen in support of chef José Andrés, who has set up a pop-up kitchen in DC to prepare 200,000 meals a day for unpaid federal workers.