Sometimes getting your period can really suck. The cramps and the bloating aren't fun, but at the end of the day, periods are seen as a rite of passage for many people. It's also an experience that in our culture signifies womanhood. But just like there are men who have periods, there are women and people of other genders who don't. For some intersex people who identify as girls, periods are an experience they're taught they should have, but don't. Three intersex advocates told Teen Vogue that expectation is part of what stigmatizes being intersex.

For intersex advocates Hanne Gaby Odiele, Pidgeon Pagonis and Emily Quinn, periods and dating go hand in hand because they had always feared telling their partners they couldn't have children. That, Pidgeon explained, is why intersex bodies are a feminist issue — like child birth and raising a family, it's one of the things society imposed on women as a measure of self-worth.

"I used to stick tampons in me. For no reason," Pidgeon said. "Just to have a string hanging so that my boyfriend and I would not have sex for a week. Because A. I hated sex, and B. just to feel normal. There's this visual, this blood in your panties that you're supposed to see, that you never see. And I think that goes into the stigma of it. We almost want that visual representation to remove that stigma that we have."

Pidgeon and Emily say they were told they shouldn't tell their future partners they couldn't have children until they were engaged. That, they said, sparked a fear that their partners would leave them once they found out they weren't able to become pregnant. They were also forced to cope with the idea on their own that they won't be able to have kids. But that, Pideon continued, is an example of how intersex people are forced into roles they don't need to fulfill.

"I think what you guys are talking about speaks to why intersex is a feminist issue, too," Pidgeon said. "Because it speaks to the roles that are forced on women. To be caretakers, to give birth to children, to raise children. And that's where we put a lot of our value and worth on young girls."

But Hanne points out pushing intersex people into gender roles forces unrealistic expectations on them.