When Sophia Frentz was in high school, her depression was hidden under a veneer of academic achievement.



"I was a very high-achieving, hard-working student who was incredibly sad all the time," she told BuzzFeed News.

Frentz, who is bisexual, had a close friend who she spoke to about how down she was feeling, and she started to think about coming out to that friend.

"She was the friend I spoke to about everything. I had been talking to her a lot about my struggles with mental illness and the issues I was facing," she said.



"Eventually I got up the nerve to tell her about that – I convinced myself, it'll be fine, you can tell her. Essentially convincing myself she wouldn't hate me for saying that."



Frentz finally said the words, via a text – and was utterly rejected.

"I said something like 'I'm really into women, I have a bad crush on someone we know'."

"Her immediate response was 'that's disgusting, that's horrible'. She told me to stay away from our friend who I have a crush on."

The toxic combination of depression, rejection for her sexuality, and the pressures of high school was overwhelming for Frentz, who attempted suicide twice when she was 15.

"It's really hard to look back and see what led up to it. It's depression, and also high school," she said.

"Something I pinpoint as being a key factor in that is fear. Fear of the future is something that triggered suicidal thoughts."

In the aftermath of the incident, Frentz saw the school counsellor, but was too afraid to talk to them about her sexuality.

"I would avoid that part of my life, which meant I was keeping something back from someone I was meant to tell everything to so they could help," she said.



"This sounds like a really small thing, but I stress the importance of people being obvious allies. If I had walked into a counsellor's office and they had a rainbow flag in their pen holder, I would have been more comfortable saying, 'I came out to a friend and it sucked'."



Frentz attempted suicide again while she was at university, following a downturn in her mental health after the sudden death of her best friend.

Now, Frentz is studying for a PhD into mitochondrial disorders at the Murdoch Children's Research Institute at the University of Melbourne.

She has reconciled with the prospect of depression being a constant factor in her life – "the doctors say it's chemical, it's a presumably lifetime predisposition" – but the overwhelming fear of the future has, to some extent, ebbed.

"I'm fine with being alive, I'm medicated now. I'm living my life, doing my thing. I'm not as afraid of the future. I accept [attempting suicide] as something that happened and now I'm moving past it," she said.



"That's how I try to deal with things that happen to me – this is neither good nor bad, this happened, and now I am moving through."