Reflections on Chronic Pain and the Digital World

How Virtual Reality Helps with Chronic Pain

Since I was a young girl, I’ve been interested in the things I could accomplish in the digital realm. For a kid with strict curfews, no ability to spend time with friends, and too much parental monitoring, video games and the internet provided an outlet to feel connected when completely isolated. When I had severe PTSD, anxiety, and depression in my later childhood and into my teens, virtual worlds helped me focus on tasks, work to accomplish goals, and find pride in my achievements. They also helped my imagination, something that — as an adult — isn’t revealed publicly but often appears in my writing, especially in pieces that are private to me. A lot of people are thinkers, of course, but my mind learned to translate things like songs, food, sounds, and ideas into stories and images relevant directly to me.

I’ve been in a state of near despair for almost six months or so now. I’ve been fighting chronic migraines and pain, and not seeing a way out of it. I think about going to do things with friends or my partner, but inevitably a headache creeps up and I have to resign myself to staying indoors — watching TV because my migraine medication makes my arms heavy and too tired to function. The way that I feel lately is terrifying to me, mostly because it feels like it will last until I’m too old to do anything anymore. My hopes and dreams of learning to backpack, thru-hike trails, kayak, and generally do outdoorsy things is sliding to the background as literally every thought is a worry about my impending headaches. It’s truly hard to think about anything else anymore. I used to dream about traveling, now I think about how many pills I may need when I go somewhere and how to get more. I dreamed about what I’d do in my professional career, but now I feel like I need to stay where I am to be safe and protected, should I have to call out ‘too much.’ I don’t like to talk about how I feel about this topic too often, because there is an ungodly amount of guilt and feeling like a burden that is attached to this. While something is happening to me, I began to believe that if people heard too much about it, it would make me seem weak and useless.



I had migraines all-day everyday this weekend. I was nauseous and my head gripped me in an iron chamber. My body responded to the pain in my skull by being weak and tired. My medication failed when I took it, a first for me. I had plans to go kayaking as a surprise to my partner. I wanted to go hiking, take my dog for a walk, and go to the shows we had planned. Aside from the shows, the rest needed to be canceled. It seems as though even if I want to do something, I’m not allowed to commit to it. I feel guilty, lazy, and like a loser. I feel feeble and old, my body crumbling underneath the weight of this invisible illness.

The only thing that saved me was the distraction given to me by our new VR headset. I bought it for games, initially, but what I’ve gotten out of it in two short days has given me hope and optimism, and a little bit of a brain reset. This weekend, through the headset, I watched a dance celebration in Cuba, walked through quiet forests, meditated with a cute panda in the woods (something that migraine sufferers use as a pain management technique), solved puzzles, and played outdoor sports with real life friends. Though I was trapped in my house in a way, I was living a rich life. Some people may consider it to not be real, or to be a waste of time, but I’ll tell you why it’s not.

I can’t get out. For the people who think it is a waste of time, they are living their lives without pain and they can manage to do everything that they’d like to do. I’m not bitter about that — but that position of being pain free means that their judgement is biased. They’ll never know what it’s like to be in the middle of a task and have a flash of light hit their eyes, causing a creeping pain to wrap around their head and sweep across their body. They won’t know what it’s like to REALLY want to go do something with friends or family, but be physically incapable. To constantly cancel plans feels horrible. I feel guilty and incapable, and my positivity, something that I struggle with already, is waning. It’s hard to keep my head up when I’m treading water.

I’m learning about the therapeutic effects that VR has on people. Once I started making those connections in my mind about how the technology was making me feel, how it was reinvigorating my senses without pain, distracting me from negative thoughts and symptoms, I started researching how people are using these systems. The uses are wide reaching and have been in progress for many years- consumers have yet to even see what therapists, hospitals, hospice care, or other mental health organizations have begun to use virtual reality’s potential for.

For people with phobic triggers, schizophrenia, and social anxiety- immersive environments can help people learn to overcome and manage situations that they previously could not handle on their own. Things like going to a mall, or grocery shopping, or even going to a library may have been overwhelming and terrifying to sufferers of mental illness. Called Exposure Therapy, flight simulators can help people afraid of flying or shopping simulators help people with crowd anxiety.

Additionally, VR is being used for people with chronic pain. The brain is overwhelmed with information and sensory input until the point that the pain starts to fade away. To me, it feels as though I’m being removed from one body, and put into a new one.

For cancer patients, VR can remove them from their chemotherapy rooms where they’d be surrounded by other cancer afflicted patients in various degrees of suffering. This is especially helpful for children, who are already in the fight of their lives so soon in their existence.

For me, being able to teleport myself back to Montreal, where I had the best vacation of my life this spring, filled me with good memories, hope, and excitement. I walked the streets I grew to love over the course of a week and was able to retrace my steps without pain. Planning our return trip to Montreal has been pretty much non-existent because of my headaches, and my brain is just simple enough to be tricked into thinking this substitute is enough.

There’s something within this technology for people, if they choose to seek it. Whether it’s just for fun, or for a mindful reset, the use cases for virtual reality are present in every facet of life. It may not seem like ‘real life’ to some people, but when ‘real life’ hurts, isn’t it better to have some semblance of a normal life period?