Young Brits have no idea what they’re getting themselves into. A recent survey shows that young adults around Great Britain are absolutely clueless about childbirth:

More than 20 percent of 18- to 25-year-olds questioned thought a pregnancy lasted a year, 10 percent believed eating red meat influenced the sex of a baby, and half expected a baby to walk and talk within its first year. The poll also revealed that 20 percent of the childless respondents thought the umbilical cord was a musical note, and 27 percent admitted they would consider genetic engineering if it meant a better-looking baby.

Under no circumstances does this give you permission to change your indie garage band’s name to the “Umbilical Chords.”

Check out the details of the survey here.