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Ladies, gather round. We have a problem.

The problem is men. They are in crisis. Dreadful things are afoot for them, and they need our help.

Despite 6,000 years of patriarchy, despite the fact a mere 6.2 per cent of countries have a woman in charge, despite being boss of all major world religions, most businesses and all our current wars , men are not happy.

It’s not just because no-one’s invented the self-washing sock yet, nor because they are so insecure they’re three times more likely to lie about their sexual abilities and waste six million hours a year being lost while refusing to ask for directions .

Nor are they unhappy for the more serious and important reason that men are more likely to die before women at every point in their lives.

They are more likely to suffer cot death, to wrap a Vauxhall Vectra round a tree, to go to war, to be killed by cancer, to die in a fight.

They are not particularly bothered about the fact they are more likely to be excluded from school and less likely to get good qualifications, because they still earn an average £330,000 more than women over a lifetime.

Anyone who can manage that with half a GCSE and a genetically-programmed death-wish is doing pretty well.

No, they’re unhappy because they don’t get any bloody thanks for all this.

They even feel like they’re being discriminated against. That women have somehow got the upper hand, and what’s more managed to do it while not running businesses, wars, religions, or governments.

Sneaky us. I hadn’t even noticed, but then I was busy pouring my curves into clothing men would approve of and make me seem attractive yet unavailable, covering up grey hairs and paying VAT so I can menstruate.

Me and my privilege.

Anyway, men have started a campaign for some long-overdue recognition. It’s called International Men’s Day and it happens every November 19.

Now, I know there may be some among the sisterhood who’d complain they’ve already got the other 364 days a year. And they’d have a point.

But we don’t have a perfect world, as all the above has shown. And we must start somewhere.

There can be no harm in recognising dads are just as useful as mums, that gender-specific diseases like prostate cancer need to be stopped, that men too can be victims of domestic violence and rape.

No-one sane can possibly have a problem praising the value of someone being a generally good bloke – whether it’s to his mum, his partner, his children, or the world at large.

It would be mean of us to say the chaps behind this movement must have never been outdoors if they claim there is ‘irrefutable research that mothers typically are nurturing, soft, gentle’ while fathers are ‘playful’ and ‘challenging’.

It would be unkind to point out their statement that ‘men make sacrifices every day in their place of work… for their families, friends, communities and nation’ applies just as easily to women.

And it would be cruel of us to mock them just because the best person they could think of as a ‘positive role model’ is rapper-turned-pastor MC Hammer .

No, women, we are above all that. We can see the bigger picture, and we can and should support International Men’s Day in every way that we can.

We should support anything which might, one day, lead men who father children and shirk responsibility to shoulder half the moral and financial burden of their own behaviour.

We should throw ourselves behind a day that might prompt men into speaking out about rape, and perhaps taking a day off from it.

If it grows and is a success then maybe in the future International Men’s Day will be the one day a year when males campaign against sex trafficking, slut-shaming, domestic abuse and religious persecution, as well as their prostates, educational attainment and car insurance premiums.

Perhaps one or two of them might even urge others not to monster every woman over 30 with a wrinkle while expecting them to have the bikini body of a bulimic 12-year-old and the sexual skills of a wizened courtesan.

Think of that – one day when men urge one another to be better than they are, and insist that every person is treated equally regardless of their gender.

Wouldn’t it be lovely?

One day when all men talk to their children, refrain from telling anyone to cover their face or hair, and chant ‘I must not use the pronoun “the” when talking about my missus’.

So, men, knock yourselves out. Have your day, do your best, overcome what you can. I’ll cheer you on, in fact I’ll even make you a packed lunch and help you with your placards.

While you’re off dealing with that, we women will just get on with everything else.

Don’t hurry back.