The biggest blunder this offseason was not re-signing Tyrod Taylor. He was always a far superior quarterback to Joe Flacco and now we get to see that live. Instead of just handing it off like Flacco after getting injured, Tyrod continued to throw the ball. He just kept grabbing his shoulder pads like a champ and acted like nothing was wrong. He isn’t going to miss the entire rest of the season because of his injury, either. It makes you wonder what the Ravens could have had.

@RussellStReport Maybe this will help Harbs get off his insane flaaco high. Who let Tyrod walk ? Who signed Schaub ? Ozzie !!! — henry (@hanktioga) November 24, 2015

All I know is that I haven’t been able to complain about Flacco because all he does is win. Now, Tyrod is on another team, and Flacco isn’t winning. Maybe it was just Tyrod’s influence the whole time and it never had anything to do with Flacco.

Think about it; before him, he had Troy Smith who did nothing but win at Ohio State. Then, we had Marc Bulger for a year who was also always winning with the St. Louis Rams. The backups are probably just telling Flacco what to do the whole time. Now that Matt Schaub is the backup, we’ve seen a rise in interceptions. That can’t be a coincidence. It has to at least be a contributing factor.

My other problem with Flacco this year is his hair. I’ve been reading on the internet that female fans now think Flacco is “hot”. Don’t get me wrong, his hair game is definitely elite or so my lady says, but if Flacco had spent more time studying his playbook and watching film instead of working on his hairstyle, then maybe he would actually be an elite quarterback. We would have won more games, certainly. They have come close in every game, and if Flacco had put that little bit of extra effort in during the week, we could be sitting at 10-0.

Tyrod Taylor, on the other hand, has been keeping his hair much tighter like men are supposed to. The less time you spend on your hair, the better of a quarterback you’ll be. That is why he was so good during the Super Bowl year.

If Flacco realized that, maybe they wouldn’t even need to bring in Tyrod. Flacco just wants to look good for his wife. He doesn’t have the commitment to the game that his former backup does.

Breshad Perriman Injured Since High School

I saw this guy on the Facebook say that he blames this whole Breshad Perriman situation on poor scouting because this is an injury that he has had since high school. That is a long time to have a PCL injury. I looked it up, and I read that PCL injuries have a recovery time of 6-12 months (for us normal folk without NFL toughness). If he has been dealing with this injury since high school, then that is 4-8 times as long as it should be.

So Perriman is 4-8 times as much of a wimp as the average human being. The Ravens should just get rid of him. If he gets a bruise at any point during his NFL career, Perriman will crawl to the sideline and ask John Harbaugh for his boo-boo bunny. John Harbaugh and his lack of leadership will probably oblige him because nowadays NFL coaches treat their players like their children instead of subordinates. Back in my day when I played football, I hated my coaches, but boy did I respect them. We never hear Ravens players hate on their coach. Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

If they don’t get rid of Perriman now, then it should only be to try to trade him in the offseason. A place that I would love to see him go would be to the 49ers and we get Torrey Smith back. We need a deep threat. Why not go with the one you know? Joe Flacco has experience with Torrey (and so does Tyrod if we go get him), meaning that they don’t need practice to get on the same page.

So hold onto him and try to trade him. If you can’t, cut him. Ozzie is too afraid to make these types of decisions because he doesn’t want to look stupid for making a bad draft pick. I don’t blame him, but you have to be bold in the NFL, and Ozzie isn’t.

Franchise Savior, Chris Matthews

I watched the Super Bowl last year, and I’ve got to tell you, that Chris Matthews guy is something else. He was making plays all over field in the biggest game in all of sports. That is the kind of player we need on this team – one who knows how to make plays in big games. But it does worry me a little bit that the Seahawks came up short. We all know what happens when players win a championship – they become instantly better. Unfortunately, Matthews never got that super power because his team ended up not winning it all, which is partially his fault because he allowed his team to do something other than hand the ball off to Marshawn Lynch when they were a yard away from a championship.

Still, the Ravens signed a guy who was on a team that was as close to a championship as the Seahawks were last year. A player who has 4 receptions for 54 yards in five regular season games and 4 receptions for 109 yards and a touchdown in playoff games is a player who has a championship mindset. Now is desperation time, so Chris Matthews knows he has to go beast mode, and I bet we see him do just that in the coming weeks.

Editor’s note: This is SATIRE, intended to make fun of some of the callers at Baltimore’s most popular local sports station.