Over the years, I’ve been surprised by how many phrases get zero hits on Google. In other words, apparently, until this very moment, nobody has ever typed, “naked celebrities you don’t care about” in a web site. You would think that with trillions of sentences on billions websites it would be harder to come up with an original line. But no! Here are some other totally unique phrases. Please feel free to tell me about your own, in the comments field. Remember to test the phrases in quotation marks, so all the words have to appear in the correct order for Google to report them.

“That’s my cheese, damnit!” “Who has the best nostrils?” “Are you sure that’s your mouse?” “Hire penguins for cheap”

“Virgin Google Phrases” “Virgin Googlisms” “Please release my angst” “Are you sure I am your mother?” “Eating human flesh is voluntary” “I don’t care for my spleen” “There is a small voice inside my telephone” “My telephone knows my name” “My telephone talks to me” “My telephone tells me things.” “Daisybrain is the best blog ever!”

Here are some unlikely phrases that actually exist on line:

“Jesse Jackson ate my cookies” “I kissed George W. Bush” “My hair may be on fire.” “I have three ears” “Wombats are invading” “I’ll eat you if you eat me” “I do not believe in cheese” “Are you my chicken?” “My spleen is on fire” “Where is my face?”

… for more virgin Google phrases, look behind the daisy:

