It is the evening of January 22, and the great and the good from the red half of Manchester are gathered in Old Trafford’s Manchester Suite for the club’s annual United for Unicef gala dinner.

Angus Deayton has just finished his stint presenting on stage and an auction is now under way. The wife of the executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward, Isabelle, has successfully bid for a signed pair of David De Gea’s gloves; Alexis Sánchez has put in a winning bid of £4,000 for a limited-edition Michael Jackson record collection. The Chile forward is also engaged in a bidding war with Andreas Pereira for a holiday on a remote Caribbean island. About £225,000 is raised for the children’s charity. The auction aside, the players spend