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Oh, Brendon, Brendon, Brendon. In the words of Bristol Turtlechick, I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

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Yesterday I wrote this blog about Brendon Laflamme, who sent unsolicited, sexually explicit messages to a woman he went to high school with and apparently hasn’t spoken to in years.

There were mixed reviews on the blog. Some said it wasn’t worthy of Turtleboy. Others went so far as to say I shouldn’t have pointed out that he had his employer’s information in plain sight on his wide open Facebook profile. Last night, I was actually starting to second guess myself and wonder if I shouldn’t have written the blog.

Thankfully, dumb people do dumb things, and this genius decided that the best way to defend himself was to attack his victim in a glorious, typo laden sentagraph.

Yes, the old “she’s a slut so she deserves to be sexually harassed” defense. The same tactic used by slimy defense attorneys to imply that rape victims were asking for it. Good call!

Brendon doubled down in the comments.

So to review, she’s a whore who made a fake profile of him. But he posted these comments to the same profile that the message came from. And it was really his buddy who sent the messages from the profile that isn’t really him while he was in the other room getting laid. He also wouldn’t touch her with a 10 foot pole because he can get a different girl every night, yet there isn’t a single picture of him with a female anywhere on this profile that isn’t him but he’s posting to. Got it.

I’ve learned a few things in life. One is that when a guy brags about how many women he sleeps with, usually the only sex he’s having is with Mary Palm and her 5 sisters.

Someone close to this sexting simpleton must have given him a little good advice, because he deleted the entire post shortly after it went up. However guys like him never learn and he decided to go on another rant.

I’ve read it 2 dozen times and I still can’t understand it all. Google translate really needs to add a Ratchet option. I’m telling you, that’s a million dollar idea.

He seems to think that his victim is the one who wrote the blog. Let me explain it to you, dummy. You sent the crude messages to a woman with a boyfriend. Her boyfriend posted it to his Facebook page with 5,000 friends. A long time Turtle Rider tagged me in the post and here we are. I’m Turtle Driver. Not so nice to meet you.

He also said that we made things up (they always say that) and that we used posts that were “mad old.”

Not content to simply deflect, lie, and victim blame, Brendon decided to physically threaten the woman he sent the texts to.

“You don’t want to see me in person cuz I’d knock u out like the dude u look like.”

Smart. Threaten her and insult her looks at the same time. It’s not like you were trying to hit on her or anything.

Again common sense or good advice took over, because this post has also been deleted. Unfortunately for Phonically Challenged Phil here, screenshots and the internet are forever.

I’ll be honest, I feel fully vindicated for writing the initial blog. Brendon is obviously a giant bag of douche who deserves the public ridicule. Do yourself a favor, pal, and stop sexting random woman. It never ends well.

If you need me, I’ll be over here working on my ratchet decoder ring.

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