Discover the secret 🌎 inside your📱. Only on your 📲. Watch the new #EmojiMovie 😄🎬 teaser trailer now! (best viewed on your phone) pic.twitter.com/8C062Br969 — The Emoji Movie (@EmojiMovie) December 20, 2016

Like any youthspeak, emojis have been the subject of countless thinkpieces dissecting the era's new symbolic patois, from how-did-we-get-here to the dilemma of consciously diversifying emoji skin tone to our inevitable societal conversion into thinking exclusively in emoji. I've frontloaded these existential excursions out of the assumption that The Emoji Movie won't go near any of them. But maybe, as you rewatch the trailer for the third time scraping meaning from less-than-a-minute of talking blobs, you'll scare up some hope, any hope, that 2017 will rebound so hard that this film pulls a Lego Movie and shocks us all.