Singapore—

President Donald Trump has reportedly canceled the North Korean peace deal because of Trump’s displeasure with Dictator Kim Jong Un’s one request for giving up his nuclear weapons: Trump must walk up a single flight of stairs.

Mr. Trump explained his decision to cut off diplomatic ties with North Korea in the following series of Tweets:

“I have never been more insulted in my entire life! Everyone knows I can walk up stairs, people always say how great I am at walking up stairs. I’m one of the best stair walkers of all time!”



“People can’t believe how good I am at it. Sometimes I skip steps, and go even faster! When I met with Obama after I won Wisconsin and Michigan (no one thought I could) he couldn’t keep up with me on the stairs! He begged me to slow down!”

“So I can totally walk up steps. But no US President should ever walk up stairs for a loser dictator! Obama was always walking up stairs for America’s enemies, and those days are over!”

“This is America! Rocket boy should walk up stairs for us! MAGA! He’s fatter than me, anyway. He needs the exercise! And his hair is totally fake. His hair looks RIDICULOUS!”

“big fake boobs blonde russian”

“Oops, disregard that last tweet. I was only doing research online about the Steele Dossier, which is totally fake! Pee tape? Do I look like the guy who would like a golden shower? No thank you, I’m totally dedicated to my wife Melania. She’s my one and only!”

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(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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