You probably can't do many football-related things better than Nick Bosa, but I'd be astounded if you can't do a better Australian accent.

Cameron Johnston just shed a single tear.

ICYMI:

Word of the Day: Asomatous.

MAY HE STAY FOREVER. Ohio State and Michigan have found common ground: Jim Harbaugh should never leave Ann Arbor.

From Orion Sang of the Detroit Free Press:

Michigan athletic director Warde Manuel said last year he wanted Jim Harbaugh to stay at U-M until he retired. On Monday, Manuel reiterated that same desire. "I stand by my decision and my statement that I want him to retire here," Manuel said at the Big Ten athletic director meetings.

We'll check back with Mr. Manuel when the savior of Michigan football gets dumped at home by a first-year starter at quarterback, a first-year head coach, and two of Harbaugh's former assistants to move to 0-5 in the biggest rivalry in sports.

Harbaugh may very well retire at Michigan, it just might be a forced retirement at age 55.

NOT TOP 10. We're in the thick of subjective preseason lists szn, and it is my contractural duty to share them with you so that you can become angry online – a known cure to offseason indifference.

Here we have a list that has the current Ohio State quarterback outside of the top-10 quarterbacks in college football.

From Bill Bender of Sporting News:

#11 Justin Fields, Ohio State Fields comes to Ohio State with high expectations after transferring from Georgia, and Dwayne Haskins won't be an easy act to follow. Fields showed glimpses of that dual-threat playmaking ability at the spring game, but he will have to get comfortable in Ryan Day's offense. If that happens, then Fields could be a Heisman Trophy finalist - just like Haskins.

I'm not personally here to get irrationally upset about an irrelevant preseason list (that's what y'all are for), but 11 feels too low, even if he's never started a game. I get that he's unproven, but I'd have a hard time convincing myself to take any of the quarterbacks higher than No. 5 before riding with Fields.

I've been an unabashed Fields lover since before he even transferred to Ohio State so my biased opinion ain't worth much, but I'd take Fields over Adrian Martinez, Cole McDonald, Shea Patterson and Ian Book at least. Probably Texas J.T. Barrett and Jalen Hurts as well.

I guess I am getting a little ahead of myself, though. He hasn't even beat out Gunnar Hoak yet!

GINN STILL GOING. Ted Ginn Jr. is 34 years old and still a more than capable deep threat at the highest level of football. That takes a hell of a lot of work.

.@Saints WR @TedGinnJr_19 joined us at the breakfast table and told us how he's keeping his body in shape heading into his 13th season. pic.twitter.com/XRWc6T6aH7 — GMFB (@gmfb) May 14, 2019

Ginn has really had a quietly incredible career. He's 500 yards away from moving into the top-25 in NFL history in terms of all-purpose yardage. And yet, he's the second-best former Ohio State receiver on his own team.

THE REPLACEMENTS. Michigan needs a new head hoops coach, and apparently, Bovada thinks Rick Pitino is a favorite to land the gig, which would be a dream come true.

Chris Beard, Rick Pitino And Juwan Howard favored to land the Michigan job per @BovadaOfficial pic.twitter.com/KOeV6QBYab — Adam Zagoria (@AdamZagoria) May 14, 2019

I never realized how much I needed this, but I want Pitino at Michigan so badly I would gladly open a kickstarter to fund his salary, and I'm not sure it would take Ohio State fans all that long to make it happen.

Despite his northern loyalties, John Beilein has always been notorious for running a clean ship. Replacing him with a vampire disguised as a mob boss who (allegedly) threw strippers and money at recruits would absolutely melt the Michigan Internet, and I am here for it.

It would be like Georgia replacing a guy like Mark Richt with... well...

CHECK OUT THE COVELLI CENTER. When plans for the Covelli Center were initially announced, my brain was unprepared to acknowledge that a there was a future beyond my graduation date, and thus I never seriously thought I'd see the thing built.

Alas, here we are. I've graduated and it's finally open, and you can get a sneak peek at the volleyball, wrestling, gymnastics and fencing facility (and claim your seats, if you're purchasing season tickets).

Ohio State is opening the doors of the new multi-sport arena on June 2 for fans to get a peek at the brand new facility, watch an intrasquad scrimmage and meet the 2019 women's volleyball team.

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