Breaking news, gamers: Aphelios, the latest champion in League of Legends, will be the first character released without an E ability, instead possessing five unique Qs that will be cycled through as the game progresses. When we asked visionary designer Certainly “CertainlyT” T about his inspiration for this radical new design, he responded that his ultimate goal is to release a champion with no abilities, ultimate, or mobility.

“One step closer,” he whispers, face half hidden by shadow. For just a moment, he fingers a keycap, emblazoned with the letter E: then lets it slip, tumbling downwards into the storm drain below as the wind tugs at his coat, the rain pelts his brow. Thunder rumbles. “Three to go,” he says, eyes blazing with something that could be called madness.

Thanks, CertainlyT! Always a pleasure. After departing that darkened alley, the visionary designer invited us back to his office, where we were privileged enough to get an early preview of his latest design: Solus, a ball of light that just sits in the spawn fountain, unable to move, cast any abilities, type in chat, ping, or emote.

According to a dead-eyed programmer, Solus’ only ability, his passive, will incorporate over two hundred distinct mechanics, making it the only ability that requires a scroll bar for the in-game tooltip. We took the time to review this revolutionary new kit, and though it did require several hours for us to understand what the champion actually does (hint: it’s pretty obnoxious to play against) we’ll let CertainlyT himself give you a quick rundown.

“It might sound a little complex on paper, but actually playing it is a breeze,” the visionary designer explained. “What you need to understand is that Solus doesn’t really have an autoattack, but that his autoattack is also global: in a sense, he deals passive damage to all enemy champions that are affected by allied crowd control effects, shredding their armor and magic resistance by bouncing sunlight off of nearby terrain. This sunlight can also be directed to objectives by the strategic placement of mirrors. Placing the mirrors requires you to go into first-person perspective, where you can echolocate optimal points on the map with Solus’ unique soundscape-focused sub-passives. This will require headphones, and also a pretty advanced understanding of physics and the constraints of the speed of light.”

While some members of the community have been quite critical of CertainlyT’s work, condemning it as “overloaded” or “needlessly complex,” the visionary designer made it clear that he intends to stick to his signature style. “People are scared by what they don’t understand,” he remarked, staring fixedly at something beyond sight, something that only he can see. “What’s important is that you enable big brain plays. Yes. The biggest plays. For the biggest brain of them all.”

“That being said, Zoe was a mistake. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking.”

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