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When you think of Chrissy Teigen, you probably think of her A+ Twitter account, non-stop hilariousness, and infectious smile. So finding out that she suffered from postpartum depression after the birth of her daughter Luna might be a shock.

In a candid personal essay, the supermodel opens up about realizing that she was depressed while working on Lip Sync Battle (a show where her entire job is to be perky).

"Getting out of bed to get to set on time was painful," she writes. "My lower back throbbed; my shoulders—even my wrists—hurt. I didn't have an appetite. I would go two days without a bite of food, and you know how big of a deal food is for me."

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Teigen continues, "When I wasn't in the studio, I never left the house. I mean, never. Not even a tiptoe outside. I'd ask people who came inside why they were wet. Was it raining? How would I know—I had every shade closed," she says. "Most days were spent on the exact same spot on the couch and rarely would I muster up the energy to make it upstairs for bed. John would sleep on the couch with me, sometimes four nights in a row. I started keeping robes and comfy clothes in the pantry so I wouldn't have to go upstairs when John went to work. There was a lot of spontaneous crying."

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Teigen says her husband John Legend was a huge support after her diagnosis. "He's exactly as compassionate, patient, loving, and understanding as he seems," she says. "John has been incredible over the last nine months, bringing me my medicine and watching horrible reality TV with me. He is not the goofiest guy, but he has gone out of his way to indulge my sense of humor. When I was having a good day, he would go to Medieval Times with me and put on the crazy period hat! He sees how much my eyes light up when he does that stuff, and he knows that's what I need. I know he must look over at times and think: My God, get it together. But he has never made me feel that way. He wants me to be happy, silly, and energetic again, but he's not making me feel bad when I'm not in that place."

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Teigen says she's speaking up because she wants people to know postpartum depression can happen to anyone, and that ultimately she hasn't let it get the best of her. "I love John and Luna more than I can imagine loving anything, and John and I still hope to give Luna a few siblings," she says. "Postpartum hasn't changed that."

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Mehera Bonner Contributor Mehera Bonner is a news writer who focuses on celebrities and royals— follow her on Instagram

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