PYONGYANG – Yesterday, media outlets all over the world reported that the Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea had claimed their Hydrogen Bomb test program a success. After further investigation, The Supreme Report has discovered that Kim Jong Un actually mentioned the “high dragon” bomb, not the infamous “hydrogen” bomb.

“Yes, that is correct,” said Un in to a room full of reporters who hadn’t previously asked anything because they were too terrified to open their mouths. “We have indeed perfected the deadly and destructive “High Dragon” bomb, which will soon wreck havoc to imperialist America’s western-most states. Cali-forni-uh, Oregonmi, and Washing Station will all soon be annihilated.”

U.S. intelligence agencies have released statements regarding this innovative and unheard of weapon. According to the reports, the weapon is composed of wood and bamboo hoops, and is operated by 4-5 highly skilled mechanics that move the weapon oscillating patterns to create the illusion of flight. The weapon is an estimated 35 meters long, and is capable of dropping over 15 pounds of confetti over the course of its flight. A photo from the CIA has been leaked of the weapon being used in a training exercise:

This is not the first time major media outlets have published misheard words on behalf of world leaders. Last year, when Un announced his “Atom” bomb, the Huffington Post reported that it was an “Edamame” bomb. Not too long ago, Fox news believed “General Tso” was not only a real Chinese military official, but also constructing a “scorching hot recipe for intestinal disaster”.