"Just you and me," Roman said.

"And Neo," Emerald pointed out.

"And Neo. But mostly you and me."

"Yup. You're at a door."

"I enter the door."

"The room is empty, and skinny. There's an archway to the east and one to the south."

"I think I know where I am...south."

"You can go right or forward. Which turns left quickly."

"Forward."

"There's a branch in the path ahead. Left is a door, right is a corridor that turns away."

"Left."

"A similar room, arch west, door southeast."

"Southeast."

"It's the pseudodragon room. There are two doors south, one of which looks rather damaged, plus one to the north, one just south of the one you entered, and one to the east."

"I remember that one well. I'll go through it."

"East?"

"East."

"Very well. It's the pivot room alright."

"I'll be running across."

"Make a Balance check."

"...Natural one."

"Which is?"

"Three. Pretty sure that's a failure."

"It is. You fall down on the increasingly sloped stone floor. Make a Climb check to hang on."

"...Six."

"...You fall. Again."

"You know, this isn't what I was imagining happening."

"Same. And same with that last fight, too."

"Yeesh. That was too many twenties."

"I know. The die never rolls that well when I'm playing...anyways. You're in the dark, dark cave. Take three falling damage."

"Ouch. Well...do I remember the way out?"

"More or less."

"Great, I'll go there."

clatter

"Nothing's ever easy."

"Nope. Spot check?"

"Twenty-three."

clatter

"Um...you don't see anything. Listen?"

"Wait, isn't it really dark?"

"True. Listen?"

"Twelve."

"Hm...you hear a snake."

"Damn. Can I cast mage hand on it?"

"Roll initiative."

"Six. No, I can't."

Emerald sighed. "No, you can't. One snake attacks you. Seven, misses?"

"One snake?"

"One was quiet. The quiet one...twenty. Ten to confirm?"

"Not confirmed."

"Ah, good. One damage, and make a Fortitude save."

"Oh, right, that. Eleven. Why did it have to be snakes?"

"Eleven actually makes it. They're the weakest kind of snake. Your go."

"Do I know where they are well enough to attack?"

"Sure."

"Eat mace, quiet snake. ...Two."

"Yeah, no. The first snake—another fucking twenty? Ahem. Does a seventeen confirm?"

"...Yes."

"Damn. Take two damage—"

"—which puts me into the negatives—"

"—and...damn. Okay, now it's a TPK."

"Do all adventures go like this?"

"Not usually, no. Not mine, at least. ...I'll go get the others, get their opinion on the game."

"First off, Em, I want that d20," Mercury said.

"Not for free," Emerald said. "But what else?"

"Brng," Neo muttered.

"Does it always go like this?" Adam asked. "Everyone dying?"

"The enemies got several critical hits. No, that usually doesn't happen." Emerald sighed. "Such is life. The dice giveth and the dice taketh away."

"Mm."

"It's too complicated," Cinder said.

"Oh, yes," Mercury said. "Don't dump the stat that gives you hit points. Don't set your friends on fire. Don't roll like crap. That's so complicated."

"I—"

"If you had followed those rules—especially the last one—you would have been fine."

"I feel like Soverliss didn't really fit the adventure," Adam said.

Emerald sighed. "To be fair, that's because I rolled most everything, before I knew anything about any of your characters. If we do this again, I could talk with y'all about what kind of characters you were thinking about making and work with that."

"I'd like that."

"I'd like if anyone respected my position as party leader," Cinder said.

"Then lead," Roman said. "I did the talking, Merc and I did the planning, Adam did the killing, Neo did the healing. You..." He shrugged.

"Fine. Maybe I will."

"Lroln," Neo mumbled.

"What was that?" Emerald asked.

"It's all rolling."

"Yeah...that's a problem with combat-heavy games. Any combat-heavy game, really."

"Lscmbt."

"Yeah, I can do that."

"I liked the combat," Adam said.

"That's because you were hacking and slashing and killing everything," Cinder said. "The rest of us were struggling to deal any damage, and you were killing them with one swipe of your damn sword!"

"Bastard sword."

"Whatever! If you weren't a god of combat, you wouldn't enjoy it so much."

Adam growled.

"You know," Mercury said, "you aren't doing faunus-kind any favors with all that bestial growling..."

Adam glowered at Mercury.

"That's more like it!"

"You haven't said much about the game, Merc."

"Oh? Well...it's nice to pick up the dice again. Nostalgic, good old fun. It would be a lot more fun if I felt like everyone was having fun, though."

"Why'd you make fun of everyone?" Adam asked.

"Pardon?"

"I would have had more fun if you didn't keep mocking me," Adam said.

"Not quite what I meant. You really got into the game, and I think Roman did, too—"

"To an extent," Roman said.

"—but Cinder kept getting frustrated, and Neo just didn't care. Emerald got frustrated, too, but she's the DM, so that's good."

"I was getting frustrated because you were all getting killed."

"Well, aside from that. I'm definitely up to a game, if everyone else is. Hell, I'd even DM if I had to."

"No," Emerald said. "Neo is DMing before you."

"Dnwn," Neo mumbled.

"Why not?" Roman asked. "I mean, why can't Mercury DM, not why doesn't Neo want to DM."

"He DMed once. Never again."

"...Right. Anyways, if Mercury's not DMing, would you be going again?"

"You seem to have a decent grip on the rules, so I wouldn't stop you if you wanted."

"Aha, no. Maybe after some more experience."

"Good answer. Anyways, would y'all be willing to game again?"

"You know my answer," Mercury said.

Cinder glared. "I'm not giving up."

"I am willing," Adam said.

"As am I," Roman said.

Neo looked at Roman.

"Look, just because I'm playing doesn't mean you have to come with. You really can stay home and play video games or something."

Neo shook her head.

"Is that no, I don't want to play D&D, or no, I don't want to be separated from Romey-poo?" Mercury asked.

Neo glared at Mercury, before nodding.

"Is that yes, no I don't want to play D&D, or yes, I don't not want to be separated from Roman?" Emerald asked.

Neo nodded.

"Neo, are you trying to be annoying?" Cinder asked.

Neo paused, then nodded.

Roman sighed. "Neo..."

"Deend," Neo mumbled.

"D&D?" Roman asked. "You want to play Dungeons and Dragons?"

Neo nodded.

"Right, everyone's coming back. Now let's talk characters. What does everyone want to play?"

"A wizard, seeking ultimate arcane power," Cinder said.

"Probably another bard," Roman said, "though I might grab a rogue level first so we have a rogue. Probably another wandering half-elf of some variety."

"I think I will play…one of the so-called monstrous races, if I can." Adam said.

"There are rules for it," Emerald said.

Mercury smiled. "Drow, maybe?"

"What are drow?"

"Dark elves rejected by their surface cousins, and treated as if they were all pure evil by basically all surface races."

Adam smiled.

"And also too powerful to be first-level characters," Emerald said.

Adam frowned.

"Aren't there monster classes in some book for that?" Mercury asked.

"Savage Species, but only ones with racial hit dice."

"Monster classes?" Cinder asked.

"Ways to play certain more powerful races in games which start at a lower level than you can usually play them at," Emerald explained. "The gist is, you start as a less-powerful member of the race, and gain power as you level up. You can't dip a level or two in a monster class and then switch to a different class, though."

Cinder hummed in thoughtfulness.

"I'd be interested in looking at those options," Adam said.

"Probably won't be a healer, then," Mercury said. "I'm leaning towards druid, maybe cleric. Ooh, or maybe one of those sourcebook divine casters. But nah, druid. An exiled druid who…I dunno, tried to bring some actual technology to their treehouse."

"That would work," Emerald said with a smile.

"I don't like that smile."

"You never do," Roman observed.

"Only when we're gaming, man. Em smiling at me is great other times."

"Alright. We've got a wizard searching for power, a wandering thief and/or minstrel, a monster…why does your character adventure, Adam?"

"To prove his worth to the world. And himself."

"Three pretty easy motivations, I think. Merc?"

"I'm out to prove something, too. The old druidic traditions are holding us back. I'm gonna show them the value of technology…ideally by blowing them up with it."

"Revenge?"

"If I can."

"Great." Emerald smiled. "That leaves Neo."

She stared at Emerald.

"What kind of character do you want to play?"

"We've basically got everything," Mercury said. "You can just play whatever you want."

Neo frowned.

"Just start with this," Emerald said. "Why are you adventuring?"

Neo frowned some more, then mumbled, "Fnds."

"Funds?" Roman asked.

"Fiends?" Mercury guessed.

"Fends?" Cinder said.

Everyone stared at her.

"...It's pretty much the only word left."

"Friends," Neo said.

Emerald repressed a sigh. "Friends convinced you to adventure? You were following friends? You're finding friends? Avenging them?"

Neo held up three fingers.

"Ah...well, we can definitely do that. Good, good. Let's figure out how this band got together in the first place."

"Depending on why Neo needs friends," Roman said, "she could make a good match for Adam's character. Outcasts from society with no one but each other."

"Nice," Emerald said.

"Cinder could've introduced me to whatever it was that got me kicked out," Mercury said. "And hey, if Roman's playing a crook, he could have found himself with the friendless beasty-besties."

"Which breaks the party into two groups that need to meet somehow," Emerald said.

"Oh, that's easy," Mercury said.

"Oh?"

"We met in a tavern."