Baltimore: Hillary Wants an Investigation into Police Brutality, Rand Paul Wants an Investigation into Single Parents

Defeat the Washington machine. And single parents. Kobby Dagan / Shutterstock.com

As protests in Baltimore over the suspicious in-custody death of Freddie Gray erupted into violence last night, our current presidential hopefuls have all weighed in on the unrest. While just about every candidate is “saddened” by the current events in Baltimore, a few gave us statements beyond basic platitudes. Let’s take a look, shall we?

Martin O’Malley, former governor of Maryland and mayor of Baltimore, has cut short a European speaking tour to be in his home state during this time. “I’m saddened that the city I love is in such pain,” he said Monday night.

Hillary Clinton, also sad, called strongly for an investigation into the death of Gray. “Tonight I am praying for peace & safety for all in Baltimore, & for Freddie Gray's family - his death is a tragedy that demands answers,” she tweeted.

Ted Cruz echoed Hillary’s demand for an investigation into Gray’s death and added that “rioting and mayhem are not the answer.”

Ben Carson also wanted to make sure we knew that violence isn’t the answer and added that we really need to just talk it all out: “It is vital to remember that the best way to create positive change is through peaceful conversation and policy ideas that display a commitment to resolution.” Carson also had this novel idea: “take control of your children.”

Jeb Bush put a surprising amount of faith in President Obama to handle this crisis, saying, “[Obama] could be such an eloquent spokesman to heal wounds and to be a constructive force. I’m sure he realizes that and I’m pretty confident he will step up.”

Donald Trump, in an incredibly accurate example of American race relations, went for the racism first and then cried for peace when people became angry with him. He jumped in Monday night with a doozy of a racist tweet:

Our great African American President hasn't exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 28, 2015

Get it? Because our president is black he’s responsible for all black things. Also, “thugs”—because “n**ger” can get your twitter handle suspended. Once the Twitterverse exclaimed,Trump released pleas for peace and love. “Our country has to come together. We have to start working with, and really liking, each other. The whole world is watching Baltimore,” The Donald tweeted . I suggest we all come together over how much we despise Donald Trump.

Rand Paul was even less helpful than Trump, joking that while traveling through Baltimore on Monday he was “glad the train didn’t stop.” Get it? Because people are angry over the murder of black people by police officers and thank goodness you get to avoid that. Hardy har har. Then, because his jokes didn’t do enough to trivialize the unrest in Baltimore, he added, “The thing is that really there are so many things we can talk about...you know, the breakdown of the family structure, the lack of fathers, the lack of sort of a moral code in our society.”

In other words: The problem isn’t systemic oppression and police brutality, it’s single parents.

I must admit that I’m pleasantly surprised at how few of the candidates reached into the deep well of fear-mongering and scapegoating that we often see when discussing racial unrest. Perhaps we should have Donald Trump lead discussions on all sensitive issues. He is guaranteed to vomit out an amazingly vile, racist, classist, and/or sexist statement that makes everyone else in the room say, “Whoa, that dude does not speak for me."