Armed only with an iPhone and a suspiciously low-priced plug-in microphone, your Carbolics tribe leader and the Drivetribe office Boy headed for the Emirates to bring you this incisive video about the last (and irrelevant) race of the 2017 F1 season. I warn you now, it's a bit crap, even by the standards of this feed.

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Part of the problem is that we weren't allowed (not being an official broadcast partner) to film the race itself. A bigger problem is that I was the guest of Williams, who have a tremendous hospitality hut and a garage with a top toolbox in it.

Still, I can at least recommend being a guest of the Williams F1 team, as the food, drink, and the lovely girls who serve it are all first class. The new art gallery in Abu Dhabi is also well worth the trip. It's absolutely fantastic.

Bottas won.