ESSENDON recruit Ryan Crowley has revealed he “went to some real dark places” while serving a 12-month ban during his time at Fremantle.

Crowley, 31, signed as a “top-up” player with the Bombers last month after 12 senior players were banned by WADA for their role in the club’s 2012 supplements program, and has opened up about what he describes as the hardest period of his life.

The former Dockers tagger received a backdated year-long ban in June last year after he took a painkiller to deal with back issues.

He said it contained “something a bit stronger than I had realised” in it, and despite taking the substance — which is allowed but banned on game days — eight days before a match, it was still in his system when he was tested.

“I went to some real dark places,” Crowley told RSN on Monday morning.

“I’ve never hidden the fact that it was by far and away the hardest (experience) of my life.

“It was a really lonely place. The footy club becomes your life, I was living away from home in Perth, even though I’ve been there for a long time, you really immerse yourself in the footy club and everyone at the footy club becomes your family and all of a sudden you’re out on your own and there’s limited contact you can have with the club.

“When you’re walking down the street, people are talking about it. It was a really, really, really, really, really tough time. At the time, I was hating every second of it and it was really difficult, but looking back now, I learned a lot about myself, learned a lot about the people that were close to me and now it’s brought me here.

“In a strange way, I probably wouldn’t change it now. I’ve grown as a person because of it.”

Fast-forward six months and Crowley, who contributed strongly in yesterday’s NAB Challenge win over Carlton, has been offering advice to the 12 banned Bombers who are preparing to face a season on the sidelines.

media_camera Ryan Crowley has fit right in at Tullamarine. Picture: GETTY IMAGES

His biggest nugget of wisdom? Get through it together.

“I had a talk to (Essendon) about a few of the things that I wish that I’d done differently and a few of the things that might be able to help them,” he said.

“At the start of my ban, I’d played 100 games straight and had been a pretty big part of where we’d moved as a team with Fremantle. To be missing out on what was a pretty exciting year, it was really tough for me. The first few rounds, I’d lock myself away by myself and watch the games and I’d get really down on myself. I’d ride every bump by myself. I reckon that was the toughest time — Round 1 to maybe Round 4 or 5.

“But once I’d learned to accept what had happened and allow myself to be around my friends when I was watching games, things got a lot easier.

“I just hope they can lean on each other and be there for each other. Even though you think you’re going well, I guarantee you, when Round 1 starts, things can become a whole heap harder. Hopefully they can lean on each other and get through it together, because that’s something that I wish that I’d done sooner. I didn’t have anyone else to go through it with.”

Crowley copped plenty from the Ikon Park crowd yesterday, booed almost every time he touched the ball — much the same treatment as when he was a Docker.

“All the young Essendon boys were having a laugh about it, but it’s been happening for about the last five years at away games,” he laughed.

“I kind of expected it, to be honest. I don’t think I’m going to play this week against Geelong. I daresay there will probably be a few over in (Perth for the game against) West Coast the week after.”