Tim Peel is a National Hockey League official. He’s abjectly terrible. Let’s find out what he’s been up to, shall we?

San Jose Sharks at Anaheim Ducks, Oct. 26, 2014

As you’re no doubt aware, the National Hockey League is taking an aggressive stance against diving and embellishment this season, seeking to curb this scourge on the game’s integrity.

Perhaps feeling that the NHL rules don’t go far enough to prevent diving, referee/vigilante Tim Peel decided to apply his own unique brand of embellishment prevention to Anaheim Ducks defenseman Sami Vatanen on Sunday night in a against the Sharks.

It’s really a game-changer, people: Calling diving penalties on players that haven’t taken a dive.

Here’s the amazing true story of Sami Vatanen’s phantom dive and the eagle-eyed Tim Peel’s decision to conjure it into reality:

God, this is so great.

It begins with Tim Peel’s microphone malfunctioning as he announces a blown call, if symbolism’s your thing.

The Ducks announcers remind fans that these plays happen fast, in real time, and that although the replays reveal the crime we’re always left to wonder how “players can be so aggressive with their stick.”

And then they notice Sami Vatanen is discussing the penalty with Tim Peel, leading to the announcers’ awestruck “are they giving him an embellishment penalty?” lament.

Bruce Boudreau noticed this too.

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He wasn’t happy.

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Super angry.

Super mega angry.

Like, he went the full Angry Chipmunk.

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Story continues