Vanita Maria Ananthram

graveyard

Archbishop’s house

parish priests

Christianity

Two families say they were denied burial for female relatives in graves owned by parents.Several parishioners at St Andrew's Church in Bandra (West) have accused it of discrimination because it disallowed married women from being buried in permanent graves owned by their parents. Mirror spoke to two families who were denied permission to bury their female relatives in permanent graves. One of the families was subsequently granted permission.The parishioners have described the rules as unfair as the owners of the permanent graves have not objected to the burial.said she faced aproblem with the church when she sought to bury her sister Valencia Khan, who had married outside the faith. “My sister died on August 31 and we went to St Andrew’s Church to request permission to bury her in the same grave that my mother and grandparents were buried in,” Vanita said. “The parish priest granted us permission to bury her in the permanent grave, but the person in-charge of the grave was upset that we met the priest before her and got the permission cancelled. My sister was buried in a temporary grave. After 18 months, the remains will be put in a niche (a smaller space in ato hold a deceased’s remains). What is the use of owning a permanent grave? I told the person in-charge of the graves that I want my sister to be buried next to my mom in a permanent grave. We want to cancel that niche and move her remains to our permanent grave.”Neil Pereira's mother Signa Filomina’s body was initially refused burial in a permanent grave on September 9, but the church subsequently relented. “We own a permanent grave registered in my grandparents name at St Andrew’s Church,” Pereira said. “When we spoke to the parish priest about all the documents (that we have), he disconnected the call after saying that only my grandparent’s sons can be buried there. When we went to the office, they refused to grant us permission (for the burial in a permanent grave)..”Pereira said he told the parish priest that he was legally bound to inform all grave owners about the new rule. "Any member of the family is allowed to be buried in a permanent grave,” Pereira said. “I have a number of photographs of gravestones with Pereiras and Gonsalves with multiple surnames in the same grave. The earlier parish priest allowed women to be buried in their parents’ graves. If it was allowed earlier, why is this new rule being imposed now? There are no clear cut directions from theto. The rules are as per whims and fancies of individual priests.”When contacted, Fr Clarence Fonseca, the parish priest at St Andrew’s Church, claimed it was not a new rule. “Once daughters are married, they go to their husband's house and belong to another family,” Fonseca said. “It has been conveyed to the parishioners.”Advocate Archie Sodder also criticised the rule. “It is a shame that the church is coming up with these rules,” Sodder said. “If the family has no objection, why should the church object? Those who don't have a permanent grave will have to be buried in a temporary one, thereby increasing the burden on the limited graveyard space. We say we all belong to one body of Christ. So why discriminate in death? The church should allow friends to be buried in permanent graves. Not only will it reduce the burden on the permanent graves, but it will show true."