START TRANSCRIPT

>>

Hey there, haulers and traders. I’m back. Now I know, I know. After three months of repeats, y’all probably thought your ol’ buddy Craig Burton had cut and left y’all on the drift to the big Adios. Well, I missed you too. Truth of the matter is that I got a new little Burton crawling around the homestead. I’m proud to introduce little Miss Mia May Burton to y’all. Lemme say, this little girl is a firecracker like her momma, but thankfully she got her daddy’s good looks.

A lot’s happened since I been gone so, as opposed to harpin’ on the past, we’re just gonna hit the ground running. First quarter, we got another installment of Craig’s Crafts where I explain my pick of the next best craft you should start eyeballin’. After that we have Michael Taft, assistant policy advisor, who’s gonna be in the studio to talk about changes to the UEE’s official calendar. But first a word from one of our amazing sponsors.

Shubin Interstellar. For over two hundred years, Shubin has been leading the industry in planetary mining initiatives and currently has facilities operating in over thirty systems. Right now, they’re looking for your help. That’s right, contact your local Shubin representative to find out about exciting employment opportunities in your system and beyond.

Okay, people. This is Craig’s Crafts …

<cue jingle>

What I say today may shock you, it may rock you to your very core and, who knows, maybe you’ll wonder what alien species has taken over my mind, but this episode’s pick for Craig’s Crafts is the new Drake Caterpillar model E.

Yes, you are right, historically I’ve been kinda … critical, that’s a kind way to put it … of Drake’s line of ships. Or if we’re bein’ honest, I think I might have called them “cheap and dirty ships built for thugs.” But if you’ll pick your jaw up off the floor, I’ll tell you why.

The new Caterpillar is a hauler, straight up and no frills. The sheer number of options you can apply to it is truly staggering. You wanna move raw mineral? Easy. How about compartmentalize your hold to allow comm servers, cargo, and human transport? It can truck ’em all like a champ. The damn thing is a metal slug that will haul whatever you can fit into it.

You might say the offensive capabilities are a little light. You’re right, it ain’t gonna be winnin’ any dogfights anytime soon, but what you lack in offense it more than makes up for in defense options. If you need this thing to take a beating and ask for seconds, it can. Again, it’s all about the option combinations.

The biggest downside’s got nothing to do with the ship itself. It’s the reputation associated with it, due in no small part to me. To every local cop, Advo, merc and Citizen, Drake ships are treated like suspects wherever they go. Sure, the company tries to defuse their ships’ association with the criminal element but come on, we all know better.

So the biggest problem with the Caterpillar is the negative attention you’ll receive. Cops will probably scan you more often than you’re used to. Bounty Hunters will probably mark you in their logs just in case a contract ever comes down on you. But I’m telling you, it’s worth it because this thing will get you there and that’s all us ol’ dog haulers can ever ask for.

Moving on, we got a special guest for y’all today. Michael Taft is the assistant policy advisor for Senator Mira Ngo of Terra, one of the most outspoken advocates of establishing Terra as the new capital of the UEE. Thanks for being here, Mike.

Michael Taft: <pause> Thanks for having me.

So your boss is at it again. After her re-establishment bill crashed and burned –

Michael Taft: I don’t believe that’s the most appropriate way to put it.

After it crashed, burned and rotted into the ground. Now, she’s set her sights on challenging the UEE’s calendar and time system, known as Standard Earth Time, which all planets under UEE jurisdiction currently abide by.

Michael Taft: Yes, Craig. That’s correct.

Well, go on…

Michael Taft: To be blunt, it’s a ridiculous system. I mean, why does Earth have to be the baseline form of measurement for every planet? If you flip through the System Almanac, you’ll find that every planet’s daily rotation is measured in Standard Earth Hours, its annual orbit is measured in Standard Earth Days. Just the fact that every historical event, no matter which system it occurs in, has to be converted to a twenty-four hour day, three-sixty-five year is confusing at best and arrogant at worst.

Well, not really confusing. The computers do all the calculations and besides, it’s not like the government’s keeping you from maintaining your own calendar.

Michael Taft: But it’s hardly the same, if interplanetary legal documentation and contracts won’t recognize the Terran calendar …

Yeah, well, what’s your better idea?

Michael Taft: Madame Senator is proposing an entirely new system that factors each planet’s specific daily rotation and orbit to –

Okay, right off the bat, here’s my problem. And this is something many of our listeners can relate to. Say you wanna hire me to pick up some cargo in Terra and move it to Earth. The way it is now, if it’s the 4th of November, you tell me you need it on Earth by the 15th, my flight computer can tell me if that’s a reasonable amount of travel time and the recipients know when to expect it. If we scrap all that and go with you all are talkin’ about, I pick up the stuff on Whatsit the 34th on Terra and it needs to get to earth by November 15th. I gotta figure out what the local time is, then cross-reference that with whatever the equivalent date on Earth is, then figure out how long travel’s gonna take. Next thing you know, I totally lost track of what day’s what and what month is who’s. It’s simpler this way.

Michael Taft: What we have here is another example of Earth trying to force the rest of the universe to conform to it when it’s an outdated method that has no bearing or application to modern living.

I don’t know. You ask me, I like having one date to remember. I don’t need to learn the equivalent of my birthday on every single different world.

Michael Taft: Again, just because something is difficult …

Easy there, Mike. We’re gonna take a quick break and then come back and try to muck ourselves through this issue. If you’re in-system and hearing this live, why don’t you drop us a comm and chime in. So hold on there, fly guys and gals …

This is Clean Shot coming back.



. . . TRANSMISSION BREAK