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How do I stand up to shaming/bullying?

Shame is one of the most powerful emotions we learn as children. We pretty much all can remember times when we were embarrassed by something we did or said and another or others made fun of us. That hot feeling of shame can stay with us a lot longer than other emotions and can fester into feelings of low to no self-worth. When we see people being shamed publicly, that is a form of judging others, or bullying and we can, as President Ucthtorf has implored us, do what we can to “Stop It.”

Prepare Yourself Spiritually

Consider times when you have been bullied. What do you wish someone had done? How might a young women’s language and actions affect others for good or bad? How might young women be exposed to bullying at church? What gospel principles and preventive measures can help them recognize bullying and stop it? What scriptures talk about Jesus Christ standing up for bullying? Matthew 25:40 (Who are those that are the least of these?) John 8: 1–11 (How did Jesus Christ respond to the men who brought the woman to him to be judged?) Romans 1:18 (How do we show that we are not ashamed of the Savior in standing up for those who are being bullied?) Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “The Merciful Obtain Mercy.” “Friends,” “Strength of the Youth” Pamphlet. Video: “How to Cope with Bullying: Let Us Be Kind.” Teaching in the Savior’s way As you teach as the Savior taught, the young women will give place in their hearts for the seed of the gospel to be planted, to swell, and to grow. What can you do to help the young women use the scriptures to understand the power and beauty of standing up to bullying as Jesus Christ did? Video: “Bullying: Stop It“ NOTE TO THE TEACHER: Many young women might have even been bullied at church. Some young women have been publicly told that what they are wearing is not appropriate and exactly how it is not appropriate, or told to wear a giant shirt with the words “modesty” emblazoned on them at girls’ camp over their swimming suits or made otherwise to feel shamed about their body. Please consider having them talk to the bishop or another understanding leader that can then correct the young women’s leaders or youth conference leaders and explain that this is a shame-inducing fear-spreading type of teaching so that this spiritually bullying stops. You may want to talk to the girls about standing up for anyone they see bullied for what they wear, even if it’s at church.

Share Experiences



At the beginning of each class, invite the young women to share, teach, and testify about the experiences they have had applying what they learned in the previous week’s lesson. This will encourage personal conversion and help the young women see the relevance of the gospel in their daily lives.

Introduce the Doctrine

Choose from these ideas or think of your own to introduce this week’s lesson: Write on the board, “We can stop bullying in all of its forms by ____________.” Why as young women of Christ, do we need to be extra vigilent in helping those who may be bullied?

Read together the story about a young woman standing in front of an entire mob of bullies in President Oscarson’s talk “Defenders of the Proclamation.” Ask the young women how they stand up to bullies in their life. Talk about how people can use technology to say and send mean and even inappropriate things and what to do when that happens.

Learn Together



Each of the activities below will help the young women learn how to stand up to shaming/bullying. Following the inspiration of the Spirit, select one or more that will work best for your class:

Divide the young women into groups. Have them find examples in the scriptures or church history of times when men and women stood up for what was right against bullies, even when it was frightening.

Invite the young women to tell of a time when they did not stand up for someone who was being bullied. How would they change their actions if they could?

Have them read the story “Being Brave.” Talk about times when they did stand up for someone and how that made them feel. Have them copy the quote from Bishop Burton on having the courage to stand tall.

Show them the resources on StopBullying.gov. Set out a plan as a mutual to support one another when they see bullying of feel bullied.

Ask the young women to share what they learned today. Do they understand how that they have a responsibility to stand up against bullying whenever they can? And that they have friends and mutual leaders who they can talk to if they feel unsafe? What feelings or impressions do they have? Do they have any additional questions? Would it be helpful to spend more time on this doctrine?

Live what we are learning



Invite the young women to consider how they will live by what they have learned today. For example, they could: