The Great Big INTJ/INTP Post

Sweet Jesus! Okay, you win! I will talk about INTJs and INTPs!

But, once again, I have to start by stressing that any type can have a successful and fulfilling relationship with any other type. This is just a broad generalization of how these two types tend to differ and interact. With that in mind, let’s get on with the post.

At first glance, it seems like these two should be barely distinguishable, and get along like a particularly successful bit of arson. They’re both introverted, intuitive, and thinking types; the only difference is the perceiving/judging bit, and really, that difference should just make them an even better team, right? Not necessarily.

The easiest way to describe the difference between these two types would be to say that INTJs like to put things together and INTPs like to pull them apart.

Let’s start by looking at the cognitive processes of each type.

INTJ:

Ni (Introverted Intuition)

Te (Extroverted Thinking)

Fi (Introverted Feeling)

Se (Extroverted Sensing)

INTP:

Ti (Introverted Thinking)

Ne (Extroverted Intuition)

Si (Introverted Sensing)

Fe (Extroverted Feeling)

Already, it should be fairly obvious that these are two very different types. They don’t share a single cognitive function. Not even any of their same process/opposite attitude functions line up.

I think what creates the most notable differences between these two types is the Ni/Te, Ti/Ne dichotomy.

INTJs are Ni dominant, which means they process information by using their intuition to foresee probable outcomes. Ni is future thinking; it looks at a situation and maps out all the potential ways the variables could cause it to play out. This is supported by Te, the great organizer. Te is responsible for contingency planning, charting, outlining. Essentially, Te takes the data gathered by Ni and puts it to practical use in problem solving.

INTPs, on the other hand, are Ti dominant. Ti likes to break things down to their essential parts to see how they work. It notices details and gets the full scope of things by examining each constituent part. Their Ti is supported by Ne, which takes all the details gathered by Ti and figures out how each part is connected to and effects each other part. Where INTJ’s Ni sees how things will come together, INTP’s Ne sees how they are all currently connected.

If you’ve ever taken a philosophy class, you’ve probably seen these two types at play against each other. The INTP is that smug jackass that automatically takes the contradictory position then argues, not for the sake of their position, but to tear apart everyone else’s ideas by nitpicking verbal inconsistencies and confusing their opponents by manipulating logical gaps and re-contextualizing arguments to highlight unintended implications. The INTJ is the one that picks up the debate right when everyone else in the class is giving up and fights hard to logic the INTP into conceding their point. The INTJ gets frustrated that the INTP won’t stay on point, and those emotions lead them to make more errors for the INTP to exploit. The INTP is entertained by watching how everyone spins out over the course of the debate.

Okay, so that example had a little INTJ bias. I was a philosophy minor; I have battle scars. There are areas in which INTJs have the advantage over INTPs, but arguments are not one of them.

While they wouldn’t be particularly problematic on their own, these differences are only exacerbated by their lesser functions: Fi/Se (INTJ) and Si/Fe (INTP.) INTJs use Fi to weigh things against their beliefs and convictions, and Se to take stock of their immediate surroundings. INTPs use Si to record details and recall past experiences, and Fe to read and interpret the emotions of others.

How does this translate into behavior? Well, while an INTJ’s Ni and Se give them the ability to be excellent manipulators, their Te and Fi mean that they only use those skills when it will help them achieve a particular goal. For an INTP, their Ne and Fe give them a certain amount of natural skill in dealing with people, however their Ti and Si make them feel compelled to pick at things and manipulate people just to see what happens.

Okay, so I’ve been a little hard on INTPs so far. As I said before, INTJs and INTPs tend to chafe at each other. If you asked an INTP to describe the same scenarios they would say the INTJ is a stubborn jackass that refuses to give different points of view equal consideration. And, to be fair, the philosophy class scenario is far more likely to occur between an ENTJ and ENTP. The INTJ and INTP will most often just be sitting in the back of the class, rolling their eyes, and thinking everyone involved in the argument is an idiot in their own way. The only time an INTJ or INTP would rise to that sort of scenario is if someone said something they aggressively disagree with.

The truth is, INTPs aren’t generally aware of the fact that some of the things they do drive others up the damn wall. Their Fe is all the way down at their relief function, so they may not realize someone was upset until after the conflict is over and they’ve had time to go back and think about it. They’re far too interested in figuring out how things work, so they may get swept up in an idea and not listen to their Fe until it’s too late. Even then, they may just get the vague sense that someone is upset with them, but not be able to figure out why. They argue over semantics because logical correctness is paramount for them. They fixate on tiny details because they can see how many problems could have easily been avoided if certain details had been accounted for.

So what does this mean for INTJ/INTP compatibility?

Well, once again, any type can have a successful, mutually satisfying relationship with any other type, but it takes some extra patience and awareness of potential pitfalls.

They’re both idea people, so, at first blush, they’ll probably really enjoy talking to each other (if they’re able to overcome their reluctance to strike up conversation.) Both types know a little about a lot of things, and a lot about a few things, so if they have an area of common interest, they’ll probably hit things off really well.

Furthermore, neither type is particularly emotional, so they’re able to have heated debates without anyone walking away with hurt feelings. Also, neither is likely to get offended or expect the other to cater to their emotional needs.

Much like the INTJ/ESFP dynamic, they make really great tertiary friends – they’ll both feel relieved to have someone that they can talk to about their big ideas, and who won’t judge them for thinking complexly about things most other people don’t care about. They also make good coworkers, so long as they’re both of equal status and neither’s success is dependent on the other.

Closer relationships, particularly romantic relationships, are a bit trickier, however. This is where the J/P dichotomy really makes a difference.

INTPs are always open to new ideas, which is great, but they’re not so good at actually making decisions. That’s only mildly irritating to the INTJ when their INTP date won’t decide where they want to go for dinner, but it’s slightly more problematic if the two have to make major life decisions that effect both of them. The INTJ might feel like they’re always left to make the hard choices, which leaves them with all the responsibility if things turn out poorly. Furthermore, INTJs don’t actually want to be in charge most of the time so they might feel exhausted by having to be the one to always take the reigns.

Both types are NTs, which means they put a high value on feeling and being perceived as competent. The INTJ may feel as though the INTP is constantly doubting them when the INTP keeps probing and debating after the INTJ considers a matter settled. The INTP may start to feel that the INTJ doesn’t respect their ideas when the INTJ ends a conversation before the INTP feels every aspect has been adequately considered.

Ps tend to lack the confidence of Js, which means the INTJ might constantly steamroll the INTP. Also, Js are resolution based – INTJs like to debate, but only to reach a consensus, or, at the very least, a conclusion. Ps are open ended – INTPs like to debate, but only to see how it’s all connected; there interest doesn’t lie in the results.

When an INTJ has an emotional argument, they want to figure out what happened, decide if they can live with what happened, and figure out how to keep it from happening again. They’re not particularly interested in fault finding and aren’t likely to hold grudges once an issue is resolved. INTPs want to figure out why something happened and how it could have been avoided. This may come off as accusatory to an INTJ, or make them feel like their partner won’t let an issue go.

However, if an INTP simply decides they want to win an argument, they can divide and manipulate an INTJ into submission every time. They’re much better at manipulating conversations to serve their own ends.

Lastly, with the INTPs need for detail, the INTJ may feel like their INTP is nitpicking how they’re saying something and completely ignoring what they’re trying to say. On the other hand, with INTJs being big-picture thinkers, the INTP might feel like their INTJ is never being specific enough for them to ever understand what’s actually going on.

Are we good now, guys? Can you stop messaging me about INTPs?