Sleep training may sound like an impossibility when you have a newborn who wakes to nurse more often than you thought humanly possible. Newborns who are breastfed typically eat 8-12 times per day so the idea of sleep training them is pure folly. Newborns will actually sleep plenty, in many cases 95% of their time is spent sleeping, it’s the constant feedings every 1.5-3 hours at all hours of the day and night that is the major challenge to a regular sleep schedule.

Sleep training is basically getting your child prepared to follow a regular schedule for when they should sleep. It also requires them to not need very regular feedings like they do when they are newborns. A set schedule can also help them get good sleep as we tend to do best when we have structure. Sleep is essential for young children as this is when growth hormone is released and babies grow quite a bit from the third trimester all the way through their first 6 months post-partum. They also don’t spend much time during each sleep bout in deep sleep so they likely benefit from spending lots of short bouts in deep sleep rather than the longer sleep sessions you have come to appreciate all the more now that they are no longer part of your sleep routine!

Here’s a fun fact from Parenting Science on children’s sleep:

…it takes several years for children’s sleep patterns to resemble those of adults. Although NREM sleep stages emerge by 6 months, sleep cycles don’t reach the 90-100 mark until children are school-aged (Jenni and Carskadon 2005). And, throughout early childhood, kids spend a lot time in REM sleep. Whereas adults spend only 20% of sleep time in REM sleep, REM represents 50% of sleep time in newborns and 30% of sleep time in three year olds (Anders 1979).

At age 4.5 to 5.5 months, sleep training your baby may also prove difficult. You will likely have more success if you try to sleep train your baby into a regular bedtime routine between age 6 months to 8 months and into his or her toddler days. By this point his or her circadian rhythms should be developed enough for this to not be an exercise in futility.

So with that being said let’s move on to sleep training your toddler. Here is a step by step guide to sleep training your toddler to help you get started:

Make sure your toddler’s bed is both cozy and comfortable. Is your toddler getting enough fresh air and interaction during the daytime? Or does he or she lay around the house and sleep all day with little to no interaction? It has been suggested that toddlers who are actively engaged during the day tend to sleep like an angel at night. It could be that interactions such as peek-a-boo, talking to your newborn, making funny faces and noises forces their tiny little brains to work hard while processing new information and as a result it tuckers them out. Don’t let your toddler give up napping before age 3. Giving up nap-time all together will just make bedtime a challenge. Structure will only help to instill regular sleep patterns. Set up a specific bedtime your child must be in bed by. For instance make a habit of having them in bed between 6:30 P.M. to 8 P.M. If your toddler is still awake late into the night, he will become more than just tired. The adrenalin and cortisol will kick in to keep your toddler awake and moving. Be alert for classic tell-tale signs of impending sleep, such as yawning and drooping eyes. These are just a few signs your toddler is ready to hit the sack and call it a day. You can also ease your toddler into a regular bedtime routine by dimming the lights 30 minutes before his or her set bed time to let him know that bedtime is approaching. Encourage your child to sleep on his own and praise him or her for it. Adding praise helps your child to feel accomplished and reinforces his sleeping routine to stay consistent.

The no-crying strategy may work for some toddlers and parents, but if all else fails and you are at your wit’s end, allow your toddler to cry-to-sleep and wait. Sometimes the best method is to let it all out.