I just saw a thread filled with an incredible amount of FAIL in every way possible. There was a post basically asserting that Black women should do whatever we want with our hair. The photo includes a Black woman with natural hair in an afro, relaxed hair, a natural curly fro dyed a colour and locs. The text in the meme reads “It’s your hair, do what you want." No problem there. I agree.

And of course this does not eschew the history of the politics associated with hair for Black people, though Black women deal with the brunt of the oppression associated with this because of sexism and misogynoir and how Eurocentric beauty myths–which impacts beauty politics in general–impact women (or people who present somewhat "feminine”) more than men. (In a previous short post about Jay-Z and insults he receives when he grows his hair out, I mentioned how Black men also deal with the policing based on racism and Eurocentric beauty myths.) In a previous essay, Natural Hair IS For Everybody, where I discussed Black women being told that natural hair is only for “some” Black women, I alluded to the fact that natural hair is for all Black women but Black women also have the right to choose what we do with our bodies including our hair.

The FAIL that I mention in this thread is atrocious. I…don’t want that thread reblogged on my blog so I linked it above, but here’s one of the comments by a Black man that truly turned my stomach:

If black women can do what they want with their hair, black men should not be shamed for liking permed relaxed or weaves hair. You moronic black Feminazis can’t have it both ways. Go ahead and do what you want with your hair and don’t get mad, when black men white men and society at large has disgust in your natural features. Your choices should have consequences and you should be adult enough to deal with them.

First of all, the statement starts with “if” as if it is not a foregone conclusion that Black women should have control over our own bodies. The fact that a Black man–who also shares the history of slavery/colonialism/imperialism with Black women–is questioning our sovereignty over our own bodies is horrendous here. When the history of dehumanization of Black people’s bodies is not sufficient reasoning for Black women to have control over our own bodies versus justifying what we do with them to Black men, then Black men are engaging in oppression, despite also being oppressed.

Second, notice the use of the word “shamed.” In this case, it is when someone with privilege (male privilege in this case) does not want their choices questioned, especially when they facilitate oppression. (Whites call being questioned on White privilege “shaming” them as well.) In the case of heterosexual partner selection, I already alluded to why this “shaming” accusation surfaces with Black men in my essay How Anti-Blackness Shapes Heterosexual Black Men’s Dating “Preferences”.

Third. “Moronic?” Slurs are appropriate simply because Black women want control over our bodies? And in terms of “both ways” this creates a binary that rests upon patriarchy and White supremacy where rejecting “the wrong side” of said binary means that abuse and oppression are then acceptable. So this person is not only advocating oppression for Black women based on choices, they’re actively advocating White supremacy. I mean…the word “feminazi” was made popular by Rush Limbaugh. Black men look up to racist White men when it’s time to degrade Black women and this isn’t new. This is why they happily quote the Moynihan report and other racist constructions projected at Black women, even if it harms Black men, as long as patriarchy is kept in tact. I previously addressed this in an essay where I mentioned Black men’s use of the word “feminazi," A Black Man Asked “Whose ‘Side’ Are Black Women On?” A Black man tried to assert that fighting for full humanity as Black women is "taking White women’s side.” How utterly comical. Only someone who has never met or talked to a Black woman and a White woman would think this. Many Black women regularly interrogate both the patriarchy/sexism/misogynoir/male privilege of Black men and the White supremacy/racism/White privilege of White women.

It’s worth noting that the simple act of wanting to control our own hair is deemed being a “feminazi.” Simply wanting to control a part of our bodies…

A Black man said “don’t get mad, when black men white men and society at large has disgust in your natural features.” Do you see the level of hatred here? He gladly sides with White supremacy and uses the word “natural features.” Um…but we look alike. We share similar natural features. He’s so desperate to convey hatred for Black women that he cannot see the self-hatred that fills this comment. I’ve written before that some Black men will gladly set Black women on fire yet die from smoke inhalation themselves.

Finally, the “adult” portion here is disturbing. Being an adult means accepting White supremacy as a consequence for bodily autonomy and choice? Now if I said “be an adult and accept the exploitation that Prison Industrial Complex inflicts on Black men,” I am sure most people would think that I am a self-hating sociopath. And that would be an accurate label. Under no circumstance should the acceptance of White supremacy, Eurocentric beauty norms and misogynoir be the price that Black women should pay as an “adult” for having bodily autonomy.

I am so disgusted by this comment. The only reason why I addressed this is because this comment is not some outlandish fluke but the type of misogynoir that Black women face regularly. The fact that any Black man could advocate the oppression of Black women’s bodies, appearance and lives despite the oppression that we both face for race is why understanding the intersectional experiences and politics of Black women is so important.