Ravers were left shocked at Corsica Studios this week after a local techno DJ spontaneously combusted with rage after a member of the crowd referred to his set as ‘Tech-House’.

The DJ, whose name was later revealed to be Dave Lester, 32, from Lewisham, had been playing a sub-standard selection of repetitive tunes when a member of the crowd proceeded to the DJ booth. The crowd member was then seen talking into Lester’s ear, at which point the convulsions began at once.

“He started shaking uncontrollably straight away,” crowd member Jody Smith told us afterwards. “If I heard correctly, the dude leaned over and said to him, ‘I’m really enjoying your selection: top tech-house music.’ Then the DJ’s mouth started frothing with blood and foam, his eyes seemed to pop out of their sockets with anger, and his fists clenched as if he had suddenly become some hideous techno version of the Incredible Hulk. He then collapsed twitching onto the floor, screaming in a blood-curdling voice the words ‘Jeff Mills is not Tech-House!’ over and over again.”

As the convulsions continued, onlooker Andrew Harris, who later identified himself as a friend of the deceased, was one of the first on the scene.

“The sound technician has already jumped in and begun to administer CPR,” Harris told us, “but Dave simply squealed that the pumps to his chest were not being delivered in four to the floor time and physically threw him to one side. The sound technician responded by observing the fact that a techno tempo is too slow for effective CPR. It was at that point Dave simply exploded all over the concerned onlookers and over the decks.”

Lester was taken to hospital immediately afterwards, but was confirmed dead upon arrival. Doctors issued the following statement: “We’ve known about this condition, known in the medical journals as Techno Snobbery, for some time now, but this is the first time that we’ve ever seen anyone spontaneously combust with rage due to it.

“We would offer the following advice to techno DJs,” the statement continued. “Techno Snobbery is a condition that can often show no symptoms for many years, yet it has been documented that it can emerge suddenly at any time due to the slightest provocation. Therefore, techno DJs should remember that genre categorisations are largely permeable and superfluous, and that a fan referring to their music as Tech-House is therefore not a derogatory comment and can, in some circumstances, even be a compliment. If this advice is followed, we expect cases of Techno Snobbery to decrease and such cases of spontaneous combustion to dramatically reduce.”