NBC: Mitt Romney To Replace Donald Trump On NBC’s “The Apprentice”

[New York, NY, November, 15, 2012] NBC Entertainment announced this afternoon that the upcoming season of The Apprentice will feature former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney in the role of the corporate boss previously played by Donald Trump.

Eric Fehrnstrom, the newly appointed NBC Entertainment president of alternative and late-night programming, praised Romney’s business background and experience at Bain Capital as an ideal prerequisite for the corporate-themed reality game show.

“The Governor has a great deal of business experience,” Fehrnstrom said, “And he was in a position to evaluate employee performance and make decisions regarding their future. That’s a core function of the Trump role on Apprentice that Mitt will be assuming.” For his part, Mr. Romney reminded reporters that his remarks during the campaign that he “likes to fire people” make him the perfect successor to adopt Mr. Trump’s signature phrase, “You’re fired.”

At Bain Capital, Romney was indeed closely involved with establishing whether or not businesses were fit for continued investment or were better subjects for liquidation and bankruptcy. And Romney is no stranger to terminating people on a broad scale due to outsourcing their jobs to foreign countries or closing domestic plants.

NBC appreciates Mr.Trump’s contributions to the Apprentice over the years, however, his usefulness may have waned. The program debuted twelve seasons ago in 7th place with more than twenty million viewers. The audience has declined significantly in every subsequent season with last year’s audience dwindling to just seven million and a ranking of 73rd in the ratings. With that downward trend NBC decided that it was time to freshen the franchise.

Programming executives at NBC have reiterated their respect for Mr. Trump. They deny rumors that his departure had anything to do with his declining reputation amongst the American public due to his political activities and birtherism. NBC does not believe that Mr. Trump’s pursuit of evidence that President Obama was not born in the United States has anything to do with The Apprentice’s ratings downfall. Likewise, they do not regard his allegations that the President is a Muslim, a socialist, and a poor student, as contributing to the program’s loss of viewers.

Mr. Trump is well known for his outspoken personality and NBC has always regarded that as an asset, even after the election when he tweeted that, due to the President’s reelection, “We should have a revolution in this country!” Neither was NBC concerned when Trump was universally ridiculed for what he promoted as “very big news” but turned out to be a clownish challenge to donate $5 million to charity in exchange for Obama’s college transcripts.

More recently Trump engaged in a public argument with NBC News anchor, Brian Williams. Responding to Trump’s post-election call for revolution, Williams said that he “has driven well past the last exit to relevance and peered into something closer to irresponsible here.” Trump fired back at the top-rated news anchor saying that “his newscast has become totally boring,” and that “Williams was never a smart guy.” According to NBC insiders, this slanderous insult to a top NBC asset also had nothing to do with Trump’s departure.

Nevertheless, NBC still wishes Mr. Trump well in his future ventures, insisting that none of the aforementioned controversies contributed to the decision to fire television’s most famous pink-slipper. NBC is confidant that he will succeed with his many business activities, including his lucrative marketing deal with Macy’s. Although a petition demanding that Macy’s sever their relationship with Trump has acquired more than 500,000 600,000 signatures, NBC believes that they will continue to be mutually beneficial.

The all new Apprentice with Mitt Romney will debut next year and is expected to return with more of the drama, humor, and personal struggles for excellence that have made the program a hit for so many years. The new star is anxious to assume the role of a fake corporate bully who likes to fire people and has some ideas of his own to bring to the show. For instance, some of the contestants may be voted off to China when they fail to perform their assigned duties. With ideas like these, and other innovations yet to be revealed, the Apprentice is certain to surprise and entertain audiences for many years to come.