WARNING: Some innuendo in this report is a little bit naughty and so I would not recommend reading it around your children… or parents!

Yesterday a royal messenger came to my estate, summoning me to Kris Jenner.

Sorry, I meant Queen Jennah.

After barging past her guards and crossing that weird bridge thing, I presented myself in my Friday best to Her Majesty.

After she praised me on my choice of outfit and I questioned her on the lack of shoes, she presented me with a mission.

“Duke of the House Witherheart, you have been charged with aiding the illustrious Commander Tweetiti in my Crown Pavilion tonight. Your successful efforts will win you lots of tokens that are redundant as you have everything decent from the vendors anyway…. and the love of the people.”

“But Queeniepoos,” I pleaded, “can’t the great Aliss Blackfyre and their clan take care of this? They’ve done it before! I have like 250 followers on Tumblr - I already have the love of the people!”

“Don’t be an idiot! The Blackfyres are off leading a rebellion across the sea! Besides, if you do this for me - you can have access to my fat, black pussy…”

“…Shadow.”

Freshly motivated (and surprised that Shadow actually does have a ‘play’ command), I leaped into action. Tweet had already rallied the troops and we had a core contingent of willing [RPS] volunteers, dazzled by the opportunity of winning glory in the Crown Pavilion.

We were then joined by members of the GW2Community and even fellow Tumblrites who whispered me for invites - dolyakstew and talesofmaguuma!

The first order of business was to clean up the Boss Blitz that was already happening before we began our organised attempt…

Our first organised attempt started a little prematurely and the instance was plagued by random AFKers, so it took us a while to get folks taxied in. Despite this spontaneous start, we still scraped a silver reward.

The next few hours flew by as we chained gold Boss Blitzes together. I again took charge of killing Kuraii, perceived to be one of the easier bosses.

Of course this is a common misconception that leads to complacency. And a lot of death.

I spent my time commanding wearing down my 'W’ key due to how much running we had to do after the ruddy centaur. Although we started quite slow with the DPS, I was proud of my team’s performance, once we started putting down (and picking up) summoned weapons.

By the fourth golden Blitz we had refined killing the bosses simultaneously down to an art!

I had to leave a after 90 minutes of hard Kuraii killing, but the event went on late into the night. I was replaced at the centaur section by the eccentric (and somewhat fanatical) Zycarius:

In total, the guild managed 11 gold runs and four silver. Nice!

It was a great night for all involved and it touched me deeply to have positive feedback waiting for me when I logged on today:

I have replied to Gypsy personally, but this goes to everyone who is interested in any of the events [RPS] have: We likely will hold another Pavilion run if ArenaNet keep it open for another week before Season Two of the Living Story starts. Even if they don’t, it’s worth noting that the guild hosts many events on a weekly basis anyway - from zone zerging to wurm slaying - the latter of which has been covered recently on this blog.

As I’ve said to Gypsy, the easiest way to keep on top of our events outside of following this blog and vlupius is simply joining [RPS]. You can do so by applying here.

Thanks very much to everyone who came - to my guild, to the GW2Community, to the fellow Tumblrites and to those random people who happened to be in the instance but still played along!

You can view Vlup’s shots of the night here.

That picture of the Kardashian matriarch is from here.

On that note, I wonder what Jennah will think of my performance…?