BUFFALO, NY — Expressing great fear and dread, local parents John and Melinda Haverford told reporters that this was the year they decided would be the best time to finally tell their children that Vocaloid superstar Hatsune Miku does not physically exist. According to reports, the decision to tell their children that the virtual idol sensation isn’t actually real is an issue that most families struggle with. Nearly every parent we spoke with had a different opinion on the subject.

“Oh we don’t want to tell our children just yet; you know, still let the magic of Miku still fill their hearts with warmth and joy. I just couldn’t bear to destroy their innocence by letting them know the 16-year-old animated pop singer that they love isn’t real,” Joan Michaels, a 45-year-old mother of two, tells Anime Maru. Joan doesn’t know when she plans to tell her children about Miku’s true nature, but she figures that they will understand when they are older.

“Plus they’ve been so good this year, hoping that Miku would come in and leave them Mitchie M’s newest album while they slept. They even left an offering of milk and leeks for her when she comes. They’re such sweet kids.”

We spoke to John and Melinda again to see how telling their children worked out for them.

“Well our youngest daughter was very disappointed, but I think it was time she found out the truth. Maybe someday she’ll have children of her own and be able to have fun getting them to believe in Miku. We still bought her the exact present we knew she wanted: The SEGA Christmas Miku prize figure. Being Christmas time and all , it was all sold out on Mandarake, but by a Miku miracle we managed to snag one just in time for the holidays,” Melinda happily recalls.

“Sadly her brother Jimmy didn’t take the news so well. He cried and cried in a corner of the house while quietly repeating ‘sekai de ichiban Ohime-sama’ to himself through his sobs. He didn’t calm down until we sang a lullaby of “Tell Your World” to him until he fell asleep. I would have thought a 24-year-old adult such as himself would have been able to handle it better. Oh well, we still got him a Miku body pillow with room for an ona-hole — it’s the exact one he asked for, so I’m sure he’ll cheer up when he opens it.”

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