Who here is wearing their tinfoil hats?Â Buckle your chinstraps kids, things are about to get ugly.

Russian Pravda news has released a report that stated 3 giant spaceships will attack earth in 2012. The largest of the ships measures in at around 240 kilometers wide. That is basically the distance from San Diego, CA to Yuma, AZ. In other words, even bigger than the things that tore us a new asshole in Independence Day.

The report goes on to claim that the US has been hiding a ton of evidence regarding this and other alien related findings that date back to the first moon missions.

Rumor has it that the Americans classified a lot of information about findings on the Moon. In 1988, a prominent Chinese official, a member of the nation’s space program, unveiled pictures of human footprints on the lunar surface. The official stated that he had received the information from a reliable source and accused the Americans of concealing that information. The photos were dated from August 3, 1969 – two weeks after Armstrong and Aldrin stepped onto the surface of the Moon on July 20, 1969. Therefore, the materials of the lunar mission were studied and classified by NASA. On March 15, 2009, The New York Times produced another sensation. The same Chinese official, Mao Kan, stated that he had obtained over than 1,000 secret NASA photographs depicting not only human footprints, but even a human carcass on the surface of the Moon. Some of the bones in the carcass were missing, the official said. The human corpse must have been dropped on the Moon from an alien spaceship, whereas the extraterrestrials kept some tissue samples for research.

The photos were taken by a lunar probe. The absence of air makes it possible to capture minute details from the lunar orbit. The pictures of the carcass were very clear.

Lastly, if you’ve got an optical telescope that is collecting dust somewhere, it’s time to break it out. Apparently, once the ships hit Mars orbit, we’ll be able to see them. Currently, the ships are right near Pluto.

I love how every source I’ve seen has the word “attack” in it.Â Who the fuck said they wanted to attack?Â Seriously, they might be headed here because they heard we had Bacon.

Let’s calm the fuck down and stop throwing around words like “attack” too soon.Â You know every gun owner is going to be blasting away at it anyway, friendly or not.