"Some Khoti are quietly battling with their families about the expectation that they will soon marry and have children, while others are completely estranged from their families as a result of their gender identity expression. They all take what they describe as the female role in sex and give one another female names, by which they address one another.

In the places where they gather together - in their temples during religious celebrations, or in certain kothi's homes - they create their own spaces to express their gender and sexuality. They do this through the theatre of religious festivals and the assuming of traditional gender roles. For example by gathering together to do what they call "women's work:" chopping down wood and preparing and serving food together and practicing traditional Indian dance. This juxtaposition between reality and make-believe creates space for them to be the women they feel themselves to be."