Stupid House resolution of the week: National Corvette Day!

Yes, there are wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, gas is now like a billion dollars per gallon, banks are foreclosing on homes at record rates. but the House of Representatives is coming to the rescue.

Thanks to Rep. John Shimkus (R-Ill.) and 55 stalwart colleagues, Monday has been designated "National Corvette Day." Yes, the American automative icon now gets its own day. I know I feel better already. All that stuff that I was worried about — war, terrorism, health care, a meltdown of the economy — has melted away. I will sleep easy now. Thanks, Mr. Shimkus!

You can read the full text of the Corvette resolution (H.Res.970) below. It was passed by the House on Thursday. My only other problem with this resolution — except for the fact that it is a stupid waste of time — is that it really doesn't even mention the most important stuff about the Corvette. Any resolution on the 'Vette that doesn't include the phrases "Whereas it will help you get chicks" and "Whereas it looks really cool" just fails to do justice to this legend on wheels (thanks to an unnamed colleague for that point).

So hurray to Corvettes, but boo to Shimkus and the rest of the House. May the two never meet.

"H. Res. 970

In the House of Representatives, U. S.,

June 26, 2008.

Whereas the Chevrolet Corvette is America's first sports car;

Whereas the first production Corvette rolled off a Flint, Michigan, assembly line on June 30, 1953;

Whereas the Corvette is now manufactured in Bowling Green, Kentucky;

Whereas the Corvette is the most widely respected production sports car in United States history;

Whereas the Corvette is truly a symbol of American pride;

Whereas General Motors is celebrating its 100th anniversary in 2008; and

Whereas the 30th of June would be an appropriate day to designate as `National Corvette Day': Now, therefore, be it

Resolved, That the United States House of Representatives supports the designation of a `National Corvette Day' to honor the Chevrolet Corvette."