Last week, Daughter had to take her adorable rescue puppy to the emergency out-of-hours vet. A grisly experience. Always try to make sure your pets are never ill at the weekend, because the big, corporate, swanky vet chains seem to have snaffled up many small independents and cornered the emergency market. They know they’re on to a good thing. It’s like the wild west out there: fees are unregulated and clients in a state of sweating terror haven’t a clue about their pets’ inner workings so are putty in the vets’ hands.

How kind and charming the vet sounded as she delivered a horrifying prognosis, frightening the life out of Daughter. Any number of ghastly, fatal things could be wrong with her beloved puppy, including liver damage. It must have X-rays, blood tests, this test, that test and stay all night. Was it insured? Daughter thought so. That would be £600-£800 please. Consultation alone was nearly £150. Petrified, Daughter would have said “yes” to anything.

She had a nasty, sleepless night, but in the morning the puppy was better. It was only worms, which they knew it had anyway. It had been given multiple tests, but no treatment, and wasn’t insured. “We’ll give you a few hours to see if you can raise the cash,” said the vet.

Then, when the terror had faded, we spotted things on the bill that hadn’t even been done. Naughty. This can’t be doing much for vets’ general reputation, or for the insurance companies, whose charges are zooming up to match the corporate vets’ charges. Eventually no one will be able to afford either and there’ll be thousands more pets jettisoned or left tied to railings. But who cares?

What does the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons think? Any problems with out-of-hours charges? Apparently not. However, it is running an alternative dispute resolution trial, which seems to have found things mostly tickety-boo. So that’s all right then.