The hour is nearly upon us, my friends. The stalls are clean and the horses all have diarrhea. Tape is hanging from street signs and the beer is on ice. The folks at the P4 Pub and grub are wrapping potatoes and my inbox is packed, fucking PACKED with people wanting to know when the courses will be posted.

And so, here they are in all their glory.

The full Monty

The Cup O’ Cedar – or as I like to call it, my COC.

The Cedar Sapling – this one is a little bit longer this year, but not nearly as long or hard as my COC. If you want a shorter route, hit me up on the facebooks and we can work something out. Believe it or not, I have a backup plan.

Cue sheets are obviously attached with those links, but Mickey was kind enough to make a better version if you’d prefer.

Those are here, here and right here.

Mickey is the most detail-oriented person I know, so you can have complete faith that his work is solid.

A quick reminder: We’re starting/finishing at the P4 Pub and Grub in Tebbetts this year, NOT in Jeff City. Our objective is to buy ALL of P4’s beer. These are good, hard working people who deserve our support. It would be so badass if we cleaned out their beer supply. Not that anyone cares, but that would absolutely make my day. And if you won’t do it for me…do it for America.

You do love America, don’t you? You fucking better love America…I know Chuck does.

And here’s an announcement you thought you’d never hear: We’ve finally formed an alliance with the Cedar Creek Equestrian community. *gasps* They’re having a group ride on the trail this weekend, and have promised to be carrying caches of beer to share with Cedar Crossers. Mind blown…just fucking blown. In their own words, “We’re all family in the woods.” I spent most of last night talking to one of them, and she seems like a really cool person. She even knows Benji and still likes us.

Think of it…on-course beers given to us from horseback. I’m more excited than my nephews when they saw their first lingerie calendar.

So just remember, you WILL encounter people on horseback and they are our friends. Yes, the horses fuck up the trail, but if the trail wasn’t fucked up the race probably would’ve never existed. I’ve been out here slopping around in this shit for 5 years, so if I can play nice you can too. This could be a huge opportunity for trail improvement.

Drink the beer they offer and compliment the size of their horse’s penis. Just don’t stare.(Don)

Speaking of Don, I wonder if he’ll be riding his 4-wheeled steel frame again this year…

I guess that’s it for now. I’ll be out hanging tape for the next few days and worrying about whether or not people will actually have fun or collectively decide to lynch my fat ass. If you have any questions, just hit us up on the facebooks.