Shortly after Donald Trump was elected, some clung to the idea that the so-called rational people in the White House would protect us from his worst impulses. Obviously, that did not pan out quite as we’d hoped. Jared and Ivanka, whose comical lack of experience was overlooked because they were going to be the ones to talk daddy off the ledge, have proved about as useful as Ken and Barbie. The supposed “calming influence” of Lilly Pulitzer bag Hope Hicks was not enough to overcome the regularly scheduled, all-caps freak-outs, the travel bans, the sacking of James Comey, or the multiple firings via tweet. Gary Cohn, arguably the most reasonable and actually-fit-for-his-job person hanging around the White House, couldn’t stop Trump from launching his trade war. And now, as the purveyor of Trump Steaks and Trump Vodka churns through staff at a rate not seen in modern history, the majority of the people with the president’s ear are just as incompetent and unqualified for their roles as he is. Not only are they not going to save us, they’re going to encourage Trump’s most terrible ideas. And then they’re going to go on cable TV and defend them through an incomprehensible, dazzling array of bulls--t that you’ll need a translator to follow.

This week, that responsibility fell to the president’s clueless trio of economic gurus, a team now comprised of Wilbur “I just discovered 7-Elevens” Ross, Peter “Free trade leads to abortions” Navarro, and Larry “Recessions are therapeutic” Kudlow, the newest addition to the group. Starting on Monday, the triumvirate sought to explain why Trump’s trade war isn’t as scary as everyone is making it out to be, despite the fact that virtually every expert has said it’s a no-win situation that will ultimately hurt Americans.

Kicking things off was Navarro, the adviser Jared Kushner found on the Internet. At CNBC, he declared that “everybody needs to relax” and that Trump’s trade policy is “good for the market,” which fell as much as 758 points on the first trading day of the second quarter. We should trust that he knows what he’s talking about, Navarro explained, because “I teach that stuff. I mean, let’s remember—if anybody knows what goes wrong with these models, it’s the guy who knows how to teach them.” Considering that less than a month ago, Navarro claimed countries would not retaliate against Trump’s tariffs because they couldn’t afford to, the professor might want to take a few remedial economic classes.

Next up on Wednesday was reanimated corpse Wilbur Ross. Speaking to the Squawk Box team at CNBC, he admitted to being “frankly a little surprised that Wall Street was so surprised” China hit back, announcing 25 percent tariffs on $50 billion of U.S. imports, including automobiles, soybeans, aircraft, and chemicals. From there, he took a page from the boss’s book, blaming Trump’s predecessors for cutting bad deals and claiming, against all odds, that the ex-Miss Universe owner will be “the president to get us out of this [deficit we have with China].” He then cited Trump’s status as a “lifelong deal-maker,” failing to add that he was only a successful deal-maker when he played one on TV. Asked if there was a chance that both sides might “negotiate . . . where there’s some favorable outcome for the United States . . . and China,” Ross offered a, “Well, think about it: even shooting wars end with negotiations,” which was surely a comfort to everyone.