Millions upon millions for Bay Bridge PR

The governor's nixing of that new three-year, $9.9 million public relations contract for the Bay Bridge eastern span project - which was to include a movie and book - is only part of the story.

It turns out that Caltrans spent another $8 million on bridge PR over the last four years, with much of it going to the same consultants.

A sizable chunk of the contract went for a five-member communications team that, as recently as this year, was billing the state at a rate of $75 to $160 an hour apiece.

The team put together two websites, newsletters and material on bridge closures, and conducted public tours and educational programs about the bridge.

The new contract, which Gov. Jerry Brown personally ordered pulled, also included putting together a commemorative "celebration book" - documenting everything from the 1989 Loma Prieta quake to the bridge's scheduled fall 2013 opening - at a printing cost of $500,000.

There was also a documentary movie in the works, recording the $6.4 billion construction and opening for posterity. Crews had already shot footage in China, South Korea and Japan, where much of the bridge fabrication work was done.

Under the nixed contract, Bart Ney, the bridge project's chief spokesman, was penciled in at $355,000 a year. But Ney tells us his actual salary would have been less than $200,000, with the rest going for benefits and overhead.

While all the PR spending might sound like overkill, Ney says the money "was spent primarily for public safety" - keeping motorists aware of bridge closures and other disruptions and preventing gridlock.

The real play: No one really expects San Francisco Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi to resign, no matter how many people sign the petitions being circulated by antidomestic-violence activists who want him to step aside.

But then, that's not really what the effort is all about.

As any political consultant will tell you, recall attempts usually fail because it's too costly to gather thousands of voters' signatures - for a Mirkarimi recall, 50,000 would be needed within the 160-day deadline.

Backers of an informal petition drive, on the other hand, can take their time and not spend a lot of money. And if they can collect 50,000 signatures, they can fire up a full-fledged recall and reconnect with those who have already put their names on the petitions.

Getting that many signatures would also be a good indication "that we have the strong chance of recalling him," said petition co-organizer Andrea Shorter, who sits on the city's Commission on the Status of Women.

And if proponents can't get to 50,000, they'll still have one heck of a mailing list.

Beached: Not a lot of holiday cheer at the Wednesday matinee performance of "Beach Blanket Babylon."

Ticket buyers had been expecting a 5 p.m. start, but by 1o after, the curtain had yet to rise.

Then came the announcement: "We are very sorry, but we're running a bit late and the show will start shortly."

No further explanation was offered, but waiters taking drink orders were soon telling theatergoers that one of the show's stars hadn't shown up.

According to Charlie Casey of San Francisco, who was in the Club Fugazi audience, at least another half hour passed before there was a second announcement that the show would "begin in a few minutes."

After another lengthy wait, Casey said, "two large corporate holiday parties marched out ... and only a few people remained when we left" right afterward. "It was just short of an angry mob."

According to "Beach Blanket" spokesman Charlie Zukow, lead cast member Tammy Nelson, who lives in the South Bay, was getting ready to leave for the theater when she suddenly took ill. The theater called her understudy, but before she could arrive, Nelson got in her car and "made it to the theater as soon as she could," Zukow said.

"The show must go on, and Tammy made it happen," he said.

The official curtain time: 5:48 p.m.

For art's sake: Despite all the layoffs, furlough days and cuts in city services, Oakland civic leaders have always managed to find about $1 million a year to hand out to local art groups, and this year was no exception.

Sixty-nine groups and artists received grants ranging from $4,250 to $37,500. Recipients included school and youth programs and the Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir.

But it's the individual artist grants that are the most entertaining.

Our personal favorite is the $4,200 awarded to "Fireworks," "a traveling, interactive" piece in which the artist sets up a blank canvas in a park and encourages passers-by to throw paint balloons at it.