This is a compilation of questions we get asked a lot, so that if your question has already been answered, you don’t have to wait days for a reply. Feel free to send messages, but if your question has been answered here, it may not be answered again, especially if it’s something we get asked a lot.

This doesn’t cover everything, but it covers a lot of the questions currently in the inbox, and I gather some people have been having accessing the permanent page on our blog.

The FAQ is also gradually being updated.

What is bisexuality?

Bisexuality is the attraction to two or more genders, not necessarily to the same extent, not necessarily in the same way, not necessarily at the same time.

But bi means two?!

I understand that this may be confusing but think of it this way, you know how Octo means eight? And how October is not the eighth month but the tenth? Definitions change. Bisexuality as the attraction to two genders was the definition thrust upon bisexuals by straight people. Bisexuals as a community have chosen to define bisexuality as the attraction to two or more genders.

What’s the difference between pansexuality, bisexuality, and polysexuality?

Pansexuality is the attraction to all genders, whereas bisexuality is the attraction to two or more genders.The main difference between pansexuality and bisexuality is that pansexuality tends to take a “gender makes no difference to me” approach to attraction.

Polysexuality is the attraction to multiple genders, so bisexuality and polysexuality are super similiar, and it’s mostly just a matter of choosing a label you feel comfortable with.

How do I know if I’m bi?

How to Determine Your Sexuality - A Guide

1) Step in front of a mirror and say “Freddie Mercury” three times.

2) If a rainbow unicorn appears, you are bisexual

The alternate method is to:

1) Ask yourself if you’re romantically attracted to more than one gender

2) Ask yourself if you’re sexually attracted to more than one gender

If the answer to either of those questions is yes, congratulations you can identify as bi!

Keep in mind that:

a) your sexual and romantic attraction don’t have to be the same (you can be romantically or sexually attracted to one gender and not another and that’s cool) and also, you can have a preference for one gender or the other. Preferences don’t make you less bi

b) experience is not a prerequisite for sexuality

c) it’s okay to be confused. If you’re not sure try to experience attraction freely and let the labels come later

d) you might feel more comfortable with the label pan or poly which is totally cool

Can I identify as bi and pan/poly?

Absolutely. There’s enough overlap in the different identities that many people feel as though they fall into more than one of them. If you feel most comfortable using more than just one label, go ahead.

The Bisexuality Chart

It’s by no means a complete comprehensive view on bisexuality (ie. it doesn’t include, for example gray ace bisexuals) but I’ve tried to make it as inclusive as I can

How should I come out?

However you feel comfortable! Coming out doesn’t have to be an all or nothing thing. However before you come out it’s probably a good idea to consider a couple of things

1) What is the impact of my coming out? If coming out to your parents is going to put you in danger or render you homeless then it’s probably not a good idea to come out (sorry)

2) Do you feel comfortable coming out? If you don’t feel like you’re ready you don’t have to. Coming out is a purely personal decision.

Also, try to be patient with people. Like, it might take time for your parents or friends to understand that you’re bi, and to get their head around it. Try to not let that frustrate you. Also with parents, if your parents are homophobic/biphobic, keep in mind that a lot of parents do come around so just hang in there. With friends, I’m of the opinion that friends who don’t accept your sexuality probably aren’t very good friends to begin with.

All of that said, there isn’t a right or wrong way to come out. If you want to sit people down and just tell them that’s cool. If you want to bake a cake and have “I’m bi” written in icing, go for it. You could message a friend with “Bi the way, I’m not straight”. You can come out however you want to.

Also if you want more resources about coming out, I’m just going to link to bi-privileges page on it because I think they explain it better than I do, so you can click here to check that out. They also have some resources on how to come out as a biromantic asexual so that could also be helpful if that’s describes you.

Other Coming Out Resources

How to Come Out as Bisexual

Coming Out as Bi

Bi the Bi: How Do You Come Out to Your Parents as Bisexual?

I don’t want to come out. Do I have to?

Not at all. Coming out is a personal decision and not everybody wants to or does. It’s up to you!

I’ve never been in a relationship/only been in a relationship with one gender/no same sex relationships, am I still bi?

Relationships are absolutely not a requirement for your sexuality! Your orientation is about the relationships you’d potentially be interested in, not based on the relationships you have. You could never date anybody, you could only date people of your own gender, of different genders, of multiple genders at the same time, and so on, and you’re still just as bi as anybody else :)

I think I’m bisexual, but what if it’s a phase?

How long should you worry that your sexuality is a phase before you decide that it’s not? You could spend years waiting to grow out of the phase, years that you could have been getting used to how you feel and learning to embrace it.

Try and learn to be comfortable with how you feel now. If it does end up being a phase, you can adjust to that if and/or when it happens, but even if it changes in the future, it doesn’t make how you feel now any less real - and it’s just as likely, if not more likely, that it’s real :)