The Beijing expat magazines clearly have different ideas regarding what constitutes ‘interesting’ content and people. The Beijinger recently ran the cover story Beijing’s 20 Most Influential People with the picture on the cover being the man who found fame in Beijing for selling T-shirts.

Other interesting types were various writers and bloggers, CEOs, founders and entrepreneurs, and artists. One such person was Zhang Xiaolong, the Senior Vice President of Tencent Holdings Ltd., one of China’s most important technology firms.

And this is what he says:

“When talking about development, most of us think of the technical side, but I say feelings are much more important, and most of us never pay any attention to them. There’s no girl you can take out on a date? The answer is definitely no, you just didn’t try asking any of them. At least you could buy a smartphone for less than RMB 1000 and then ‘Shake’ it.”

Not to be outdone in the interesting stakes, City Weekend Beijing also compiled their own 15 person list of people who had changed Beijing in some way; this included a restaurant owner, alongside a pioneer, an artist, a rock star and various other people who I have never heard of. The restaurant owner said:

“The bad thing is that with domestic investment comes a labor shortage. There are a lot fewer people flocking to big cities. At job fairs, it’s full of people who are hiring. Not many people are looking for jobs. So the restaurant industry is more difficult to sustain now, with less margin of profit.”

That’s Beijing, presumably conscious of what was becoming an inane and tedious circle-jerk, published a list of their own, The 10 Least-Interesting People in Beijing, writing in their introduction:

“Realizing we had completely run out of ideas for last month’s mag, we decided to run a piece about some people we know in Beijing. Our criteria was simple: did we have their phone numbers? Once we had the list, we stuck it in a drawer and forgot all about it. But then one of our freelancers fled the country on an alleged rumor-mongering charge and we needed a replacement article – fast! Hey presto, we present you with the 10 people in Beijing you should cross the road to avoid, and possibly call the police…”

Ouch. But rather than calling out lazy journalism, That’s Beijing focused on coming up with a list that was ridiculous… ridiculously funny, that is. Ironically their list was the most interesting of the bunch. Here’s what their middle-aged balloon seller, who’s married to “a foul-tempered monkey trainer” of a husband, had to say:

“I’ve thought of selling other stuff. Cigarettes, lighters, rape alarms… but, at the end of the day, it’s always been about the balloons. This business of ours – it’s recession proof. Night or day, drunk or sober, people will always want balloons. And roses.”

And the last on the list is my favorite. Olive Zhang is a 26-year-old “Office Drone,” and here is what she had to say:

“Several of my roommates are struggling to find any kind of stable work at all, so I consider myself fortunate to have this great opportunity and in our capital city as well!… Also, I am pretty sure the boss wants to f*ck me.”

Ladies and gents, welcome to the world of expat publishing in Beijing; it’s, evidently, all fun and games.

Image courtesy of Longwood Blogs.