It's not her first time at this rodeo — Bachelor stalwart Ashley Iaconetti is back in paradise this season and back recapping the show also. Read on for her firsthand take on all the messiness this season has to offer. Because it's going to get messy...

It's ... interesting seeing the parallels between the Josh/Nick/Amanda drama and the Jared/Caila/me drama watching this week's episodes play out, even as they're made to look so different. Both situations boil down to one person trying to protect a friend who he/she has briefly dated in the past — but it somehow ends up looking like I'm coming from a place of jealousy, while Nick (New Bachelor alert! New Bachelor alert!) is the protective older brother type.

I get it; I was "obsessed" with Jared, but there are two sides to every story being told — in this case, the one that's the real deal, and the one that looks better on TV. This season, the big storyline was obviously all about me looking like a fool, because it just wouldn't make sense if the overly emotional, jealous girl had an actual point, would it?!

But let's start at a happier place: I felt like I was in middle school telling my besties not to point and giggle and embarrass me when Wells, the guy I'd been waiting for, finally made his grand entrance. Instead, they all put a good word in for me as they met with him solo — and as embarrassing as that is watching back, I'm glad they did. Wells and I had an amazing date. Our chemistry was evident before we even got in the car to leave. We released that wish lantern, and our wish was that Paradise would be paradise from here on out. Also, just to note, the lantern sailed into the atmosphere without exploding, thanks very much.

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You can't really go wrong eating tacos with one of the sexiest guys you've ever seen and talking about Hanson. Yes, Hanson is my favorite band, and if you're judging me for that, then you haven't heard the music they've made since 1999. I definitely had that first date "Oh shit, I'm nervous and drawing blanks" timidity going on at first, but kissing Wells made it all better. Also, the producers swore the stray dog that came up to us wasn't planted — you know that was Lucy's soul (Lucy being my beloved Coton de Tuléar who passed away in April) coming to check in on me!

I was so happy at the rose ceremony the following day. Wells was getting my rose, no stress. Well, almost: You may have thought that Josh and Nick's confrontation over, yes, Andi's book (again) and what it said about their respective characters was the only real drama from that night, but (1) it actually spanned a couple of nights before Amanda decided she was cool with Josh regardless, and (2) that's just the only drama you saw on TV. Here goes!

Some behind-the-scenes context: Between each cocktail party and rose ceremony in Paradise, the girls and the guys are separated while the cameras are being set up. The girls go to the pool area, and the guys go to the beach for final deliberations and nervous chatter. During downtime this week, Caila said some things that, wait for it, I can't talk about until my contract expires! (And really, by that time, I'm going to have moved on I promise.) I can however bring to your attention to that throwaway moment post-rose ceremony where Lace says "I can't stand her" about Caila while walking by her on the stairs. Remember that?! As a viewer, I would be so confused as to why this was edited in there. As a participant, I like to think it was the editors throwing me a bone, because I was not the only person in Paradise not sold on Caila's motivations.

The next morning I got to sleep in really late; rose ceremonies are often filmed until 4 or 4:30 a.m., so I was thankful to catch up on some shut-eye. But of the 10 days I filmed in Paradise, on only one other morning was I not woken up and told to get ready between 7:30 and 9:00 a.m. Wells, meanwhile, was awake bright and early and by the pool, even, in time for Jami's arrival. Remember, Brett and Wells were the only two guys in the house at that point who weren't locked into relationships, since the twins left without giving out their roses the night before, they'd sent three men (Carl, Ryan, and Damn Daniel, g'bye, guys) home with them.

And so when Nick tells me that, while I was sleeping, Wells agreed to go on a date with Jami, everyone was waiting for me to blow up again. Psych! I'm totally cool and confident, because I felt so good about, you know, our 48-hour-long relationship. I wasn't experiencing any pangs of jealousy. I was stoked to have feelings for someone new — this was what I'd come to Paradise to find. But yes, I also knew I was going to have to deal with one last ~thing~ regarding Caila and Jared (Yes, that's the thing I can't talk about.) Could I have let Jared figure things out on his own? Yes. He's an adult and completely capable of making his own decisions. However, in the moment, my protective instincts compelled me to do something.

So I went straight to the source, Caila, and ask her to address her comments. (My voiceovers in the run-up to our conversation here are being taken out of context, by the way.) And the big blow-out ends up being edited in such a confusing way, trust me. If you watch the scene carefully, you'll notice how little they show Caila and I actually saying something and responding to each other in the same shot. It's all separate cuts of her face and mine, because it's so pieced together!

When I addressed what she'd allegedly said the day before, she said she was being "misinterpreted." I assured her over and over how happy I was with Wells, and that I was just addressing these rumors with her because I hated the thought of Jared being played. (When I'm telling the group afterward, "My responsibility is done," I'm talking about protecting Jared, not sabotaging his new romance.) It was all so much less hostile than it appeared on TV, and I can say she was less upset by me in that moment and more feeling like an outcast amongst the whole group.

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Still, Caila tells Jared right afterward that the environment in Paradise is too toxic for her and that she's leaving. There's no discussion, that's that. Jared's frustrated and understandably so. I knew that in the moment he wouldn't be able to see where I was coming from, but just hoped in the future he would know what I did was with good intentions. It was hard to see Jared leave mad at me, but I had to let him go and figure out things for himself. Nick even sat down with me once Caila and Jared left, calmed me down, and told me I'd done the right thing. That gave me a small sense of peace.

Some post-show info: Caila and Jared dated non-exclusively for six weeks after Paradise. She was trying to get to know him outside the reality TV hoopla and see if her feeling developed; whether or not that was with the goal of being a "Bachelor couple" in mind, I don't know .But Jared wants to be in a relationship though, and, from what I gather, Caila is now in a place where she wants to date around. Because of this, they ended their relationship. My place in Jared's life wasn't a factor, despite what Caila may have insinuated on After Paradise.

Let me conclude this narrative by saying I made a lot of mistakes in Paradise, and I really let my emotions get the best of me. Despite what I may have said, Caila isn't an awful person. I do wish she took some more responsibility for the way things went down, and that she was more honest about her feelings (or lack thereof) for Jared while in Paradise. It would have eliminated a lot of drama. She made mistakes, and I sure made plenty of my own, but it's just that hers weren't broadcast on TV. Part of me wasn't sure how much dirty laundry to air in this article, so much of me wanted to just let it go. But I do have the right to defend my character and felt I needed to. This is the last time I will address any of the drama between me, Jared, and Caila. The end.

Except, wait, there were other people in Paradise having ~moments~ of their own. A quick lil run down: Wells landed his third outing of the week with Shushanna, a double-dater with other new arrivals Lauren H. and Brett. Shu told me how great a kisser he was when she returned, which left fire coming out of my ears ... but he is talented, so yeah. Lace and Grant had their first big fight after Lace had a flirty moment with Carl (also a firefighter, it's worth noting), but made up and made out afterward. Carly and Evan are also in love, and Evan keeps popping boners on national TV. Carly can't believe she's fallen for "a penis man," so never question the magic of Paradise, OK?

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Sometimes it's dark magic, sure, but sometimes it's not.

Editor's Note 9/2 3:00 p.m.: Details in this recap have been amended to address a potential issue regarding Ashley's Bachelor in Paradise contract.

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Ashley Iaconetti Ashley Iaconetti is our resident Bachelor recapper.

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