Hey there, ladies. While you're in this pub bathroom, let me tell you about how soccer is analogous to sex. This sexy soccer player will sex you in 11 different ways. Sex.

This @MNUnitedFC ad in the women's bathroom at Brit's is nothing short of genius. pic.twitter.com/67YWw4xIMb — Wes (@MnNiceFC) April 10, 2014

You should go to soccer games because sex.