​Flake Management



Okay, back to flakes.





I’ll share with you some tips & tricks on managing your calendar. As a successful daygamer you should have a tight schedule so flakes really shouldn't be an issue. It’s way better to have more dates that you have time than to count on that one girl finally not flaking.



On the other hand, you should also manage your time in a way that you actively avoid flakes. It’s not a good idea to set up a lot of dates with girls are not really into you. They will flake and it will eventually kill your vibe.



So what you can do?



1. Note the strength of each close



You should be making notes about each number you get. Write down things that you were talking about, something about her but also strength of a close. You can categorize each one either as "flake", "50/50" or "solid".



You should know when a girl is solid - she is responsive, you've talked for 10 minutes or more or you opened after an obvious IOI. 50/50 is either a short but promising talk (glowing eyes, great connection) or a long but dull one (you were not sexual enough or she has a boyfriend or was reluctant to give you her number). Flake is everything else.



If you're categorizing too many girls as potential flakes or 50/50 you should really work on your game. Nothing beats sweeping the girl off her feet during initial interaction. If she's already into you, everything will be so much easier.



Do not focus on any particular type of girls (after all, a girl you thought was a flake can end up in your bed the very next day). However, when in doubt prioritize the "yes girls". Usually it just happens naturally as the better the connection the faster she replies to your texts and quicker you set up the date.



2. Embrace delayed responses



Girls usually reply to the texts at random intervals. But not when it comes to an invite. If you follow my texting model then sooner or later you will see the "delayed confirmation". Once you pull the trigger and actually invite a girl out by telling her time and place, she will very often answer after tens of minutes or even few hours. That's normal and expected. I won't even guess if it's the conscious testing of your frame ("will he write again?") or is she really thinking.



That delay poses a problem when it comes to managing your tight schedule. When you have few not-so-solid numbers and one evening to spare you need to get all the answers fast and set up the dates. Or do you? Maybe you can do something about it? Like double-book?



3. Double-booking



There are two ways in which you can double-book. Of course you can set up few dates at the same time (and in the same place) but my advice is that you should at least have 30 minutes between them. Girls can be late, you can be late and you still need to cancel the other meeting if the first girl shows up.



Double-book if you feel that the girls are not that solid. You'll be surprised how many times all the girls flake - usually your gut is right.



The other way to do this is to set up a chain of dates. You can meet with one girl at 5, another one at 7 and finally one at 9. You arrange those dates in order from least probable lay because if you’re going to bounce nay girl home, you have to cancel subsequent dates.



In the end, it means that sometimes you will have to flake on a girl. Tables have turned. Do not be afraid to do so, do it casually (like the girls do). Text her that something came up and you can't make it. Do not apologize but inform. If you're lucky and the girl was already somewhat into you, that can make you even more attractive to her.



4. Confirm the date... indirectly



Sometimes you may want to confirm the date. If you know that the girls is flakey or you have other girls available or a thing you want to do with your friends as an alternative - better find out earlier than later. Do that especially if you triple-booked and you want to weed out the obvious flakes.



Worst idea ever is to text the girl something in line of "are we still meeting today?" Always assume that she will come.



However, if the girl has a history of flakes (or you set up the date earlier than 3-4 days ago) then you can ping the girl a day or two before the date. It should be your everyday ping but if she replies you can drop an interesting topic and then end conversation with something in the line of "I'll tell you more tomorrow".



Another trick to make her confirm the date is to move the meeting by half an hour on the day of the date itself. If you agreed to meet at 8, text her "I just got a call that I need to disarm a bomb and rescue some children. I might be late, so let's meet at 8:30." You can also move it earlier with "Everything is working out perfectly today. Can you make it at 7:30?"





That way you indirectly check if she's up to the date. As a bonus, it shows her that your time is more valuable (she have to adjust to you).



5. Have alternative plans



I've already covered that in one of my previous posts: Shrug off the flakes. The key here is to have alternative, exciting plans that you really want to realize. Pursuing your passions or hobbies instead of chasing skirts. That way, you won't feel down when the flake do happen.



And no - playing games or watching TV doesn't count as "exciting". This better be your hobby, your side business, extra workout session, book you've never found time to read, a beer with your friends or even an evening with a regular girl who you booty call. But no matter what you choose, don't just sit at your home staring at the wall drinking all by yourself.



It's an opportunity, not a tragedy.



6. Soft date - party/event time



For all you extroverts - instead of asking a girl out on a date you can invite her to a social event. Like your housewarming party or a Friday's night at your favorite bar. That's low pressure date - it won't be sexual enough (unless you change the venue and isolate her) but at the same time you'll have massive social proof from your friends.



Because it’s not really a date but something you wanted to do anyway, you don’t really care if she comes. She might feel less pressure too. However, if she’s a shy introverted girl, she might prefer meeting you one on one. Be smart about it.



If it’s a big event, some guys invite a lot of girls. The premise is that instead of you going after them, they will fight against each other for you. It's an idea worth trying. But it’s not for everyone.



7. Remember that girls are unpredictable



No matter you experience or eagerness of a girl - she can always flake. Also, even the weakest conversation can transform into a hot night. It's just a matter of probability - eager girls will be the easiest most of the time.



But when it comes to women there isn't such thing as "easy" (or "predictable"). Always use your judgment and social intelligence. And listen to your gut.