Not that we’d ever recommend you rush out to buy a copy of The Daily Telegraph if you were ever in search of reporting that’s in any way not horrendously xenophobic, or in any way not the hand of Rupert Murdoch shoved so far up the backside of the Liberal Party that he’s talking through them like a ventriloquist who doesn’t even give a remote shit about trying to hide his moving lips. But sometimes they do things so purposefully fucked that we have to do the dishonourable thing and actually pay attention to the publication – albeit momentarily.

So here is today’s rather grotesque front page, featuring what appears to be Colonel Scott Morrison of the SS Team Australia, celebrating his glorious victory of boats being turned back; the plague of people in need finally the problem of someone else.

We all define victory in different ways. This is a @dailytelegraph victory pic.twitter.com/RMrLPMswef — amanda meade (@meadea) September 17, 2014

The whole thing – complete with admittedly excellent Photoshop work – is being done after Immigration Minister Scott Morrison curiously lifted the lid on data collected during Operation Sovereign Borders; a lid that had previously been shut so tight that anything trapped beneath it would’ve suffocated long ago.

Whilst the Government might be claiming this as a victory for its hardline “Stop The Boats” policy – Malcolm Turnbull stated “it’s a policy that works,” whilst Morrison himself stated he was “dealing with the problem,” – it doesn’t change the small little fact that no less an authority than the United Nations has challenged the Government to prove that its policy doesn’t actually breach the Refugee Convention, ergo breaking a few dozen international laws in the process.

The Courier Mail‘s went for a similar tactic this morning as well, it should be noted.

Did the Courier Mail intend to use an image that’s come to represent mission *not* accomplished (via @MarkDiStef) pic.twitter.com/UUeIbg9ONU — Simon Cullen (@Simon_Cullen) September 17, 2014

But in this case they photoshopped Scott Morrison’s head onto the infamous image of former US President George W Bush standing about an aircraft carrier in front of the ill-fated “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” that time and history came to realise was a statement that was accurate of anything but. Intentional or not, it’s a pretty good depiction of where we’re currently at as a country.

‘Course it’s not all bad news, though. It’s at times like this that we have to remember that the internet is absolutely full of demented geniuses with a few spare minutes and certified legend-level senses of humour.

Have you ever done that really gross, snotting, wheezing laughter where your whole chest hurts and everything’s amazing?

Well what has two thumbs and is a gasping, crying, snotty mess of lol right now? This guy.