We live in exciting times. We make no complaints. We are used to battle, for out if it we came. We will plant our feet firmly in our earth, and no attack will move us. You will stand with me, should such a time come! You will stand before me, at my side, and behind me, holding our flags high! Let our old enemies attempt to rise up once more! They may wave their Soviet flags before us — but our flag will win the battle!

The one thing that we can all count on is that we are going to die. I know you are only in 1st grade, but it could happen to you. For all I know your daddy could come home ans shoot you all tonight. That would make him a Republican, and that's why I want to take away his guns. Your doctor is also probably a Republican. That's why I want to be able to tell him what he can do for you after Daddy shoots you all.

I also want you to enjoy a ride in a "green vehicle" when you are going to the hospital- it's better for the planet. Not that you'll care as you bleed out from you mean Republican daddy's gunshot wound.

Remember- Republicans are evil. If you think your mommy or daddy is a Republican call 1 800 SUCKITGOP to report them. Now lets close with the new pledge of allegiance:



I pledge allegiance,

to Obama,

and to his advisers

and for the ideals for which they stand,

One nation

under one party

With substandard health care for all

And liberty for none.