Nolan Finley

The Detroit News

A lot of conspiracy theories cross my desk. I don’t spend a whole lot of time considering them.

Instead, I tend to believe things are as they seem, and that there’s not an unseen hand moving about the chess pieces.

But I’m starting to seriously believe that Donald Trump got into the presidential race to hand the White House to Hillary Clinton and to destroy the Republican Party.

No other theory comes close to explaining what appears to be the intentional sabotage of the GOP nominee’s presidential campaign and the party’s future.

This week pushed me over the top.

The man who is trying to convince American voters he has the maturity, wisdom and temperament to lead the free world woke up at 4 a.m. Friday and got into a twitter war over a former Miss Universe winner who Trump says got too frumpy to wear the crown and is a tramp to boot.

What!?!

Clearly the man isn’t losing sleep over the spread of terrorism to our shores or our anemic economic growth or anything else that ought to occupy the gloaming anxiety of one who hopes to occupy the White House.

Trump has been obsessed since last Monday’s debate with his inability to return Hillary Clinton’s final zinger, in which she recited a litany of disgusting comments the businessman has made about women. They included calling the former beauty queen, Alicia Machado, “Miss Piggy.”

There was only one way out of that crippling trap for Trump, and that was to remind viewers that while he has regrettably insulted women, and he’s sorry, Clinton is an opportunistic feminist willing to destroy the lives of women who stand in the way of her political ambitions.

Instead, he went on a rambling defense of his offensiveness, including revisiting his feud with the bombastic comedian Rosie O’Donnell. Rosie O’Donnell!?! When’s the last time anyone thought about Rosie O’Donnell?

After the debate, Trump said he didn’t raise the issue of Clinton taking down her husband’s mistresses out of respect for Chelsea Clinton, who was in the audience. Right.

For the past week, Trump has continued his insults of the pageant winner, keeping the media focused on that titillating nugget instead of asking the candidates any questions about, say, the raging national debt.

Maybe if Trump went on vacation for a couple of weeks, the press could get back to poring through Clinton’s emails. But Trump keeps letting her off the hook. He has done this repeatedly throughout the campaign. Whenever the heat starts turning up on Clinton, he rides to the rescue with an outrageous distraction.

If it’s not a conspiracy, then the only other answer is that Trump has a serious mental disorder that traps him inside the brain of a 13-year-old boy.

But what’s going on seems too well orchestrated to write off to the reality that Republicans managed to nominate themselves a lunatic.

James Comey of the FBI is loathe to even peek at the workings of the Clinton Foundation. But I’d urge him to watch for a billion dollar check to clear the charity’s account after the election cashed by one Donald J. Trump.

nfinley@detroitnews.com

Nolan Finley’s book “A Little Red Hen: A Collection of Columns from Detroit’s Conservative Voice” is available from Amazon, iBooks, and Barnes & Noble Nook. On twitter: @nolanfinleydn.