Did you know that it is virtually impossible to lick the outside of your own elbow? More significantly, how you respond to this piece of information – and how you attempt the pursuit – can offer a glimpse of the stable traits you are born with and that form the bedrock of your personality.

According to personality psychologists, these traits can have major consequences for how our lives play out. The “Big Five” dimensions spell out an acronym – OCEAN (or CANOE if you prefer): openness to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness and neuroticism. Because the same dimensions emerge in virtually all countries, cultures and linguistic groups, they can be regarded as universal. Individuals are aligned with each trait on a spectrum, with most of them piled up in the middle and fewer appearing at the extremes.

These traits can help to measure your personality in terms of the attributes you “have”. But what about what you “do”?

The study of personal projects, the “doings” of daily lives, provides us with a different perspective. Personal projects are all about the future. By tracing their route, we can map the most intimate of terrains: ourselves. Personal projects are not limited to formal projects that are required of us, such as getting our mother into a good nursing home, although sometimes we pursue them out of a sense of duty. They are also, crucially, acts we gladly choose.

By tracing the route of our personal projects we can map the most intimate of terrains: ourselves

A project is not a momentary act but typically a sequence of actions. In contrast with the stable traits that are freeze-frame shots of your personality, personal projects are moving pictures; their full meaning is not apparent until the entire sequence comes into view.

The greatest value in thinking of personality as “doing projects” rather than “having traits” is in three powerful words: potential for change. We can consciously choose and adapt our projects in ways that we cannot change our traits.

But that doesn’t mean we can leave our traits back on shore, speeding freely across the water towards a self shaped by projects alone. The two are connected. Our research shows that where you stand on the Big Five affects your appraisal of your personal projects – the “How’s it going?” part.

For instance, neurotic people have a generalised sense of negative emotions and so are much more likely to appraise all their projects, whether interpersonal, academic or work-related, as stressful. If this describes you, there is one practical implication: make space in your life for projects you find uplifting. These needn’t be major; it is better to have frequent engagement with smaller-scale projects that give you pleasure. Your natural tendency to see the downside of the larger endeavours of life can be offset by frequent, intense experience with the little things.

Recent research has shown an important link between traits, personal projects and wellbeing. However, the impact of traits on well-being is not always direct. The direct influence is through the kinds of personal projects individuals pursue. For example, a disagreeable introvert is not necessarily constrained to a life of unhappiness. They might engage passionately in writing a politically charged blog. It brings them deep pleasure both because of its intrinsic meaning but also because they love making others squirm. In short, when it comes to wellbeing, projects can trump traits. Your deeds speak louder than your disposition.

Who Are You, Really? by Brian R Little is published by Simon & Schuster at £8.99. Order it for £7.64 from bookshop.theguardian.com