MR. DAN: Dogboy! Dogboy!

DOGBOY: Yes, Mr. Dan!

MR. DAN: Where have you been?

DOGBOY: Oh! I've been at the "Occupy Wall Street" protests!

MR. DAN: You mean "Occupy Hippie Nostalgia," don't you?

DOGBOY: Nnno, I'm positive it was called "Occupy Wall Street," I saw signs!

MR. DAN: Those people have way too much time on their hands!

DOGBOY: I know, Mr. Dan, they tell me that's what happens when you're unemployed!

MR. DAN: Don't you know the CEOs you're protesting are paid to create jobs!

DOGBOY: Oh! So they must be creating three-hundred times as many jobs as they did in the seventies, right?

MR. DAN: Well, not exactly-- because they're getting taxed to death by the government!

DOGBOY: You mean their taxes that are the lowest they've been in thirty years?

MR. DAN: Stop doing that, Dogboy! No, that's not what I mean!

DOGBOY: Ohh, okay, I dunno, Mr. Dan-- whaddoyou mean then?

MR. DAN: I mean you should be thanking Wall Street for all the great things it does for America!

DOGBOY: Like building bridges, businesses and lasting examples of productivity?

MR. DAN: Well, nnno. Nowadays, see, the business of Wall Street is more, um, intangible. It's what they're best at! That's what you should thank them for!

DOGBOY: OH! Like, "thank you for Intangible Derivatives, Wall Street!"

MR. DAN: Yes!

DOGBOY: And, "thank you for Credit Default Swaps!"

MR. DAN: Yes! Now you're getting it, Dogboy!

DOGBOY: Oh! Oh! And, "thank you for Consolidated Debt Obligations!"

MR. DAN: Yyyes, I suppose . . .

DOGBOY: And thank you for . . . "Dark Pools of Liquidity!" Those are really intangible!

MR. DAN: Yes, of course.

DOGBOY: (faster) Thank you for the most concentrated wealth and income in seventy years?

MR. DAN: Yes, well- NO!

DOGBOY: (sincere) And thank you for vaporizing trillions of dollars and millions of jobs . . .

MR. DAN: No. No--

DOGBOY: . . . because it's brought us all closer together!

MR. DAN: NNNOOO! (vaporized)

DOGBOY: Thank you, Mr. Dan.

MR. DAN: What . . . for . . . Dogboy?

DOGBOY: For all this nothing!

MR. DAN: (groans)

DOGBOY: Camaraderie is intangible! Friendship is intangible! Happiness . . . community . . . love is intangible! Mr. Dan? Whoo, you're not looking very tangible yourself . . .