Let’s start with a disclaimer: I am not one generally in agreement with Gwyneth Paltrow. I don’t steam my vagina or insert jade yoni eggs into it. I didn’t consciously uncouple with my ex-husband, or consciously couple with him, for that matter. And I’ve never consulted a "shamanic energy medicine practitioner", or an "intimacy teacher", or a "healer", or Beyonce. Quite frankly, I have occasionally wondered if Gwyneth Paltrow is of this world.

But in one area of her life, at least, Gwyneth Paltrow is my new idol. She may have some odd ideas about intimate hygiene, but she and second husband Brad Falchuk are completely aspirational when it comes to their partnership.

Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Brad Falchuk, on the cover of Goop magazine. Credit:Archive

In a recent interview with The Sunday Times, Paltrow revealed that she and Falchuk only live together four nights of the week. On the other three nights, they retreat to their separate houses, where they are each raising two children.

I adore that idea. It sounds almost perfect. It comes very close to my vision of the ideal marriage, which involves me living alone and allowing bi-weekly visits from my husband, who will cook me dinner, tidy up a little, service me sexually, massage my feet, and then bid me farewell, leaving me to sleep peacefully in my queen sized bed, unburdened by snoring or blanket-hogging or raised toilet seats in the morning. Heaven.