Have a couple hundred thousand dollars burning a hole in your pocket? I will follow you until it falls out your pant leg. Han Solo's iconic first-shooting DL-44 blaster is going up for auction. If its new owner doesn't superglue it to their hand they're wasting their money. Full description:

Estimated Price: $200,000 - $300,000 Description: 379. Harrison Ford "Han Solo" non-firing DL-44 Blaster from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. (TCF, 1980, 1983) Harrison Ford's charismatic smuggler, Han Solo, is arguably the most popular character in the original Star Wars trilogy. The space-scoundrel-turned hero's persona is irrevocably tied to his blaster pistol. Solo was modeled after the rogue gunslingers of the westerns that influenced creator George Lucas. This non-firing blaster was created for The Empire Strikes Back and was also used in Return of the Jedi. It would have been used in the majority of scenes that feature Han, with the heavier, live-fire weapon being used for close-up shots. Particularly noteworthy scenes requiring this lighter version are when Darth Vader uses the Force to lasso the blaster out of Han's hand in Empire, and in Jedi when Han wrestles with a Stormtrooper to regain possession of his blaster during the Rebels' encounter with Imperial forces on Endor. Based on the German issue Mauser C96 pistol, this piece, measuring 11 in. long, was custom made for the film from resin by casting the original hero prop from the first Star Wars: A New Hope, it therefore exhibits the same serial number as the hero prop, which is thought to no longer exist. The blaster is exactly in its original filming condition and therefore exhibits wear from use, but retains all of the original details, including the flash suppressor and scope (the eye-piece of which is detailed with reflective scotch-lite tape). The added distinction of this particular piece is that it was also likely used by Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker, as both characters shared the same style of weapon in Empire. Accompanied by a letter of authenticity from a noted Star Wars collector. To our knowledge this is the only known example of this type of blaster in private hands. This is a truly incredible item of motion picture history and quite possibly the most exciting science fiction weapon to have been offered for public auction.

Whoa whoa whoa -- "non-firing"? What good is a non-firing blaster? That's like buying a non-stabbing ninja sword. Which, on a scale from terrible to awesome, is not very good. Get out of here with that nonsense. Is it obvious I'm just trying to drive the price down? That blaster will be mine, and it will be taped to my penis.

Keep going for a couple more shots including one of Han holding the thing in case you forgot just how dreamy a bounty hunter he really was.

Thanks to LupusYonderboy, who offered to go halvsies with me. Does it look like I'm made of money? I AM MOSTLY WATER BRO.