Ironically, a 2010 study by the Nielsen Co. found that 9 out of 10 participants had absolutely no interest in wearing 3D glasses around the house, which as you may notice was a full two years before TV manufacturers decided to be surprised that nobody really wanted to watch 3D television. For some reason, the average person just doesn't want to wear uncomfortable headgear every second they spend in front of the TV.

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Some of us would rather eat these than wear them for 90 minutes.

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Instead of taking that as a sign, companies pushed ahead anyway, offering their product to entire households packaged with only two pairs of $50 glasses. At that price, it would cost you a thousand fucking dollars to have a group of friends over to watch the Super Bowl in 3D.

So why the brief rise in 3D TV sales? We just like having new things. But the purchase of those things doesn't necessarily mean we'll use them, which is why that Kindle is collecting dust on your nightstand.