The crew of the Solem bottleneck at the docking port and start pushing and shoving to squeeze through. I try to hang back for the worst of it, but inevitably, I end up suckered in anyway — squished and shoved and pulled in all directions, before eventually popping out the other side reasonably unscathed. I am now officially aboard the Regina and my long awaited gala has begun.

I join my crew-mates in following the sound of beautiful musics along the docking corridor that suddenly ends; opening up into the largest open space I have ever seen. The Regina’s mess hall spans the entire width of the ship and cuts through five of her 26 decks. If the Regina is anything, she is a spectacle.

My eyes scan the hall, but I only recognise my own colourful company mingling with the handsome crew of the Regina. Bevin is there, looking somewhat bland in comparison to everyone else, listening eagerly to admiral Lahn, who is reciting one of his age old stories with much pomp and circumstance. While Lahn enraptures his growing crowd, I notice Flox sneaking off to the lower decks with his elite girlfriend.

A softly spoken voice lightly ripples through the grand hall, “Please welcome the crew of the Ludicra.”

Ugh, why must these announcements be so drawn out? The admiral knows very well that my mother serves the Vincit, does he revel in keeping us apart? I watch the far side of the hall as the Ludicra crew bounce in. Being the smallest ship of the fleet, she can only support ten crew members at a time. Apparently the first crew lasted a full year before going completely insane, at which point, they started stalking the Regina everywhere she went, and responding to all communication requests with, “Papa say, ‘Shh…'” Eventually, the fleet managed to intercept the thing and her crew has been rotated at every gala since.

I have never been assigned to the Ludicra, and to be quite honest, I hope it stays that way.

The graceful musics are interrupted again by the soft voice, “Please welcome the crew of the Fessi”

Despite the calming musics, everyone is giddy with excitement — greeting one another with the overzealous exuberance of a child. I sit alone at the back of the hall, waiting for my gala to begin, with a sigh, knowing that my time is slowly slipping away, and that there is not a thing I can do about it.

“Why are you sitting here all by yourself?”

I look up to find my father, standing regal and sparsely painted, the exact opposite of my slap dash efforts.

“I’m waiting for the Vincit,” I reply with a little huff to mark my feelings on the matter.

“They will arrive any moment, go and have fun while you wait — talk to people.”

My father smiles at me, eager for his son to win the hearts of the fleet and thus the heart of the admiral. My father places a strange faith in me that I don’t quite understand.

“Please welcome the crew of the Vincit.”

At last! I jump to my feet and beam at my father. He pats me on the shoulder as we both scan the many corridors leading from the hall, not knowing precisely which one will reveal Mother and Flora. My heart jumps into my throat with anticipation, and Dad’s grip on my shoulder is a little too tight. But then we see the crew begin to emerge into the hall, and I break into a run to meet them.

The Vincit’s crew yield for me as I charge at them and, of course, at the moment I spot my mother I lose my footing and end up a sprawling heap at her feet. While not at all clumsy in the company of the Solem, somehow my mother’s presence always manages to reduce me to a calamity. She stands there, arms folded, looking down on the mess of a me with a knowing smile on her face, as I pick myself up from the floor and tear up at the sight of my mum.

“Hello, Vidka,” she says, eyeing my paint work with the love only a mother could give. “What happened to you?” she asks.

There are too many things she could mean by this. My brain struggles to process our first face to face interaction in four months and it results in me staring at her and the words I can’t quite understand yet. “What do you mean?” I ask instead, buying time for my brain. Her eyes pass over me again with the hint of a smile, and now I know it must be because I look ridiculous.

“-I’m afraid you’ve grown too much! It won’t do, you know.”

She reaches for me and I rush into her arms as if for the first time. All my memories of this person come flooding back all at once, and I remember how her voice doesn’t really crackle with with intercom static or radiation interference and how her eyes are much brighter than a monitor could ever show. Now reunited, I begin to calm down and find I can breath and have better control over my limbs once more.

“Did you fall in the mixing bowl or something?”

Flora!

I disentangle myself from Mum and launch myself at my best friend. Flora grins and warmly accepts my hug, while Mum sneaks off in search of captain Akiva. It’s okay though, she will find me again before the end of the gala, she always does.

Flora and I disappear off to the observation deck, where we can catch up on the previous four months whilst looking for new worlds together.

The observation deck is my favourite place on the Regina. It is a windowless room which comes alive with projections of the universe outside. I understand that it is only a projection of what is out there, but it is so complete that you can easily lose yourself for hours at a time. It is used to chart our ever expanding course through the universe, and I love it there, because it is the only place in the fleet that truly captures the utter calmness of outer space.

“I have to tell you something,” Flora says, suddenly looking shy. This is unsettling, because whatever she means to tell me, it can’t be good. So I stay quiet and wander across into a distant galaxy and hope she decides against it. “I wanted you to know from me and not from anyone else.”

“How noble of you.” I have absolutely no idea what this ‘something’ could be.

“Captain Akiva invited me to transfer to the Solem.”

My eyes dart back through the galaxy to Flora and my heart suddenly leaps because I am not alone anymore. Flora is coming to my ship and I will never have to subdue my dreams or hide in the-

“-I said no.”

My breath sticks in my throat, “What?” I ask, failing to understand why anyone would refuse a post on the Solem, much less my best friend.

“Captain Etta promoted me to communications officer. I’m on the bridge now, that’s what we were aiming for wasn’t it? To reestablish the mission?”

I can’t believe this. My mother implicit in keeping my only friend on another ship? Why would she do this to me again? I stand, desperately not wanting to say something hurtful to Flora, yet not wanting to be near her either.

“Congratulations,” I say in parting.

“Vidka, I didn’t expect you to be pleased, but I thought you would at least understand,” Flora says with the universe at her feet.

I leave before my emotions can fully catch up with me.

Marching headstrong back into the mess hall, I am almost blinded by the angry tears clouding my eyes, and in my blind haste, I almost take out my waiting parents.

“Vidka, we must talk about this-” my mother tries, but all I want to do now is leave this elitist ship and its cruel inhabitants. I want to get back to the Solem and hide alone in the walls because that is what I am and always have been — alone.

“Well, I don’t want to talk to you, Etta,” I say, finally stopping to address her as the captain she is, “your loyalties were made plain to me the moment you abandoned the Solem in favour of making rank-”

“Vidka…” My father is now getting involved. I must be making a scene, because this is unlike him. My mother has gone very quiet, but I do not know whether this is like her or not.

I continue anyway, because any punishment handed to me now could not possibly make me feel any worse, “You don’t even believe in the mission anymore! Nobody does! Why do you care that you are a captain when no one other than the fleet will know it? You will live and die a captain but you will never have been a mother-”

My voice is suddenly downed out by an almighty alarm that blares in monotone throughout the entire ship and its docked children.

“All captains and communication officers to bridge.”

My parents leave immediately, and I see Flora emerge from the shadows running to join them. The masses are, at first, perturbed by such a striking interruption of the gala, but once the alarm dies and the music returns, their anxious speculation melts back into celebration.

I march back to the empty Solem. At least, I think it’s empty — I hear some strange noises coming from C deck, but I ignore them. I march to the bridge because I know the passcode to gain entrance and I am angry with my parents. I don’t know what I’m planning on doing once inside, but as I step, illegally, into the empty room, I am met with the most peculiar sight. The communication station is active, and bright screens beam messages through the darkness. I wander over, sit at the station and observe the messages. It’s like nothing I have ever seen before; marks flash up that bear no resemblance to any script I can read. Perhaps it is a mechanical error, but it is no error message that I have ever witnessed.

As I stare at this screen with intrigue, the bridge doors slide open and there is no where for me to hide. I have been caught.

“What is this?” I ask my father without apologising for being on the bridge without cause.

“It is our mission,” he replies. “We have found life.”