

Most people have a way to help them relax. For some it’s as simple as smoking a bowl, for others reading a book. Maybe it’s a quick orgasm before heading to bed, or catching up on twitter. It’s important to have a way to help settle and center yourself, to remove stresses. For me, I wear diapers, every single night.

The general term is AB/DL which stands for Adult Baby / Diaper Lover. This is a broad term which actually covers multiple topics. Adult Baby generally relates to age play, people who want to regress, and get into a “little” head space. Maybe they’ll color, play with blocks, watch cartoons. Maybe they’ll go to the park with a parental figure, a “Mommy” or “Daddy” or some form of babysitter. It might be as simple as putting on a onesie and suck ingon a pacifier or their thumb. It’s important to note that not all people who engage in age play identify as Adult Babies.

The other side of the term is Diaper Lover. That refers to people who love to wear diapers. For some people it’s a sexual thing. The act of wearing the diaper highly arouses them. Some like to use their diapers, and some like to masturbate in them. And for others, it’s just comforting.

There are a lot of different combinations and variations on the theme. Not all Adult Babies, care for diapers and not all diaper lovers care for age play. It’s important to understand that just because one person likes something a certain way, does not mean that another will share the same interest. Just like in any other situation in life.

And I have my own little version, that suits me. I first realized that I was interested in wearing diapers, when I was a little girl, probably about the same time that I realized I was transgender. Sometimes I wonder if there was any relation. As a child, it wasn’t easy to find diapers, or get away with wearing them. Sometimes I found ways, and sometimes it would be years before I’d be able to wear again. But always, I was drawn to them. When I became an adult, I started buying diapers to wear. I’d wear a few, and then throw them away, a binge and purge cycle which I’ve heard is quite common among diaper lovers. Of course, it’s understandable. I was absolutely ashamed of my habit, how could I not be, when I heard from so many people how nasty that “fetish” was. Some even compared it to pedophilia. Of course, I knew that was ridiculous, but statements like that get to you over time. Therapists had no understanding of this and were usually outright hurtful when I spoke about it. After many years and through a lot of self debate, I realized, that if wearing diapers made me happy and comfortable, then that was more than enough reason to wear them.

And so I started wearing them every night.

It’s a comforting ritual. Every night, before bed, I pick out a diaper to wear. Just like clothes, I have a bunch of different types. Plain ones, pull ups, little girl pull ups, and diapers which cater specifically to the AB/DL crowd. I usually go with one of my favorites, DC Amor or ABU Space, both of which are really bulky. As I strip out of my day clothes and tape myself up in a fresh diaper, its as if I’m stripping off my worries as well, discarding them as well in the dirty clothes hamper.

Insecurities as well seem to drift away. Am I pretty, am I sexy, will my genitals ever align with who I am? These are not things that someone in diapers has to worry about. And I don’t. I’m just this little girl in a diaper, about to go to sleep

Also, whether due to medication, stress, hormones, or whatever, sometimes I wake up wet. For more than 15 years now and I’ve stressed about it since the first time it happened. Always terrified that I’d wake up wet and someone would find out. Now if I wake up wet, it doesn’t matter. Because there is absolutely nothing wrong with someone who wears diapers to wake up in a wet diaper.

I can’t say that it makes things perfect, sometimes it adds stress, like if I’m traveling with people who don’t know. But it is far more uncomfortable for me to be without diapers, I feel naked, nervous, and just plain odd. I never sleep well on those rare nights.

Occasionally I may take it further, when I’m upset, or sometimes just when the mood strikes me. Maybe a pacifier or a bottle. A cute little shirt, and a puffy little diaper cover. Other times, when I’m not feeling well, I may spend the entire day diapered. Recently I was very sick, and being diapered all day was the one bit of happiness I had throughout my misery.

And so for nearly 3 years, I’ve worn them. Every night, I tape up my diaper, and remove some of my worries. I stress just a little bit less, and I’m comfortable. I’m just a little girl in a puffy pink diaper. I’m a padded princess, and I am so proud of it.