In Spain last week, the disruption caused by the extreme weather – we’re not used to snow – has been the main topic of conversation. This might have influenced the icy way in which Spaniards have received the words of Mrs May – often putting them alongside those of Donald Trump. You might not like the coupling but many people here tend to put them in the same bag, especially since the Brexit speech. “Antipáticos” – something between unsympathetic or simply not nice – is the general feeling among ordinary people here when they try to describe Mrs May.

As I gathered thoughts from those in government to citizens I’d run across in my daily business, and from across the political spectrum, one dominant view prevailed: how can May’s proposals not be bad for Britain and perhaps for others, too?

The Spanish media was certainly unimpressed by the prime minister’s words. El País, Spain’s leading newspaper, was particularly hard and underlined the “delirium and haughtiness” in her speech. The staunchly pro-European Madrid daily accused the prime minister in its editorial of supporting a “shameless and xenophobic nationalism”. It added: “Nothing in May’s speech sounds right. The promise to reach a ‘positive deal’ is misguided. It’s not positive to show contempt towards European citizens or to discriminate against its residents. Neither does it make sense to threaten the Europeans it will have to negotiate with…”

The tone in almost all of the media the day after the speech was similar: Mrs May’s words were described as challenging, hostile, hard, threatening, without concessions, illogical, extreme or fierce. According to Miguel Otero-Iglesias, a member of the main foreign affairs thinktank Real Instituto Elcano: “The time when the British empire used to decide the rules of the game was back in the 19th century.”

Some commentators, on both left and right, accused Mrs May of wanting to mistreat the 3.3 million EU citizens living in Britain or of simply working to transform the country into a tax haven. Neatly pointing up the contradictions in the British position, writer José María Carrascal suggested Britain would not get away with a “hard Brexit for the Europeans and soft for them”.

There is now a view that Spain can now play a leading role in the relaunch of the European project

The new minister of foreign affairs, Alfonso Dastis, is soft spoken and gentle compared with his predecessor, José Manuel García-Margallo. But even he was pretty clear: “The European Union was born without the United Kingdom and it can continue perfectly well without it. In fact, besides being a challenge, Brexit can be an opportunity to renew the European project.”

And, with regard to a very specific concern, any decision on Gibraltar’s relations with the post-Brexit EU will need Spain’s approval, he said. But he tried to calm the waters by underlining that Mrs May’s words were meant “for inside consumers and expected to create an exit narrative through forceful messages”. So there is also a recognition of domestic UK realities and Dastis emphasised that Spain’s attitude should be wait and see until article 50 has been activated.

After a year of political turmoil and a caretaker government, there is now a view that Spain can now play a leading role in the relaunch of the European project. Dastis insisted that the UK should report its will to leave the European Union as soon as possible and that Spain is ready – it has been working for months now – to start the separation process. The prime minister, Mariano Rajoy, and his powerful number two, Soraya Sáenz de Santamaría, echoed Dastis’s words: all four European liberties (people, goods, services and capital) go together, and the UK will not get away with keeping only the commercial right.

As one top Spanish official put it to me: “They [the British government] are trying to make us think that we have a problem. They are the ones who have it. And it’s a very big one.”

In the street, I heard similar sentiments. “If they want to go and think only about themselves, pues adiós,” said Juan, who looks after the maintenance of a building in Madrid.

“May’s speech wasn’t that important – we are already feeling the consequences of Brexit in my office: the British have less money to spend,” said Leticia, on her way to Jerez de la Frontera, in Andalucia, from Madrid, where she works in the tourism sector, adding that 25% of the tourists in Spain come from the UK. (In fact, Mrs May´s speech coincided with Fitur, Spain’s yearly tourism fair in Madrid, where the negative effects of Brexit was a popular line of conversation.)

Amid this turmoil, at least one Spaniard, 26-year-old Miguel Bescós, chose to be pragmatic: last week he joined his 200,000 fellow Spaniards living in the UK and travelled to Liverpool to learn English and maybe work as a waiter. He can’t find a job in Spain and thinks that soon it will be more difficult for him to go to the UK. “Now you just buy a plane ticket and go. In a few months’ time, who knows?”

Ana Romero is a political analyst based in Madrid