How to improve self confidence and not be shy

Being shy is a habit many people aren’t comfortable with. But it happens after spending time away from others, eventually transforming you into an introvert. There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert. Introverts are known for their creativity and have insightful minds to share with the world.

However, there comes a point when a shy person decides to change their behavior and face the world. They gain a desire to improve their self confidence and better themselves.

Their source of inspiration could have originated from a desire to better their relationships, rise in their career, or want to improve themselves. The only problem they face is how to go about it. They see strangers they want to approach, but don’t, praying those strangers approach them instead.

I, myself, could be much of an introvert at times because when I was younger, I used to be extremely shy. I hated speaking to new people and if possible, would avoid them at all cost. I only stuck with my social circle because that was who I was comfortable with.

But I learned through self reflections that this habit wasn’t good for me. I wanted to get out and meet new people so I could learn from them, and further my knowledge.

Overcoming my shyness was a challenge I faced when I traveled across other countries. There, foreigners were opened with strangers. It was startling after they approached me, ready to engage in full conversations and I didn’t even know their names.

They helped me overcome much of my shyness, and I created many relations through it. So if you’d like to know the methods to improve self confidence and stop being shy:

1. Defeat your inner thoughts

The one force that often attacks you is the critic in the back of your head. It tries to convince you that you have nothing to offer others. It tells you that people will find you boring the longer you speak to them.

The concept originates from the fact you don’t want to prove your inner critic correct after getting rejected or if someone doesn’t find you interesting.

This internal conflict is what makes it easy for us not to talk to others. So next time you see someone you want to talk to, don’t think, just act. Acting immediately is one of the best methods to defeating your inner critic.

Once you act without thought, it’s easy to flow into the moment versus if you had planned out the entire conversation. If you give yourself time to think over what to say, you’ll end end up to painting yourself into a corner if it doesn’t turn out the way you expected.

2. Don’t focus on the outcome. Enjoy the moment

We often like to imagine the outcome of a situation before it arrives. And it makes sense because we don’t want to enter a situation without knowing what to do or say. But there comes a time when we overthink the situation and make it more complicated than it is.

This is what worries men before they approach women. They’re so focused on the reality of being rejected that it causes them to no longer enjoy the conversation with the woman.

So don’t predict what the other person is will say because there’s no guarantee that’s going to happen. Only let you intuitions take over, and allow your charisma to take care of the rest. If the conversation doesn’t go the way you like, mentally take notes on what went wrong and build up from there.

Just because a conversation doesn’t go the way you desired doesn’t mean you have nothing to offer. You have to find people you have chemistry with because that’s the secret to finding meaningful relationships.

3. Practice your conversational skills

This will be difficult at first, but the more people you speak to, the easier it becomes. A particular reason we become shy is because we’re uncomfortable around people to a certain degree. We find reasons and excuses not to interact with them. This is the problem we face when attempting to overcome our shyness,

When I started my workshop to improve self confidence and rid my shyness, I would engage in conversations with store clerks. I asked them basic questions and though it seemed normal to them, it freaked my mind out. I was breaking out of my comfort zone with strangers. From there, I built my courage to speak to social groups and became comfortable with them.

Therefore, if the opportunity presents itself to you, speak to people whether it’s relatives, neighbors, co-workers, or strangers on the street. It doesn’t have to be a full on conversation. Just tell them something you recently learned about, greet them, or ask how they’re doing. The goal will be to build your confidence and understand how people react when you engage with them.

4. Become comfortable with yourself

Another reason people shy away from others is because they’re afraid of what they might say about them. No one wants to be negatively judged and this is what causes people to stay to themselves or only be around those they’re comfortable with.

And we have to face it. It’s common for us to judge others based on many features, but to overcome this fear is becoming confident in ourselves. If you have to, start working out, dress better, or eat healthier.

Most importantly, don’t be ashamed of what you are. You could be completely weird or a person who takes odd interests. I get told daily from people I meet that I have a weird personality and I fully embrace it because that’s who I am.

Once you accept your best qualities and flaws, you’ll become comfortable with yourself, Show your confidence well enough and others will come flocking towards you because of their insecurities.

Until you find a reason to love yourself, it’ll be difficult to expect others to do the same for you. Discover who you are and don’t look at what others want you to be. It’s easy for us to hide our identities so we could fit in our social circle, but it’s not mentally healthy.

We would only be lying to ourselves based on who we really are. So learn to embrace yourself in every aspect so others could magnify towards you.