All 38 million citizens of the Republic of Poland have immediately forgiven ESPORTS personality Duncan “Thorin” Shields following his 10,000 word treatise justifying Polish national and ethnic inferiority.

“At first, I was worried that my article would be difficult for Poles to access as many of them may be illiterate,” said Shields, who is a native of the United Kingdom. “Poland’s students only score 10th in the world when it comes to reading, compared to the UK’s superior ranking of 23rd.”

“23 is more than 10,” he clarified. In the same study, the UK scores 20th in mathematics, compared to Poland’s 9th.

Shields’s fears were unfounded, however, as Polish citizens simply had nothing to do between IEM Katowice events and were able to read every word of his 10,000 word treatise.

“I’ve known people from Poland for over 14 years,” said Shields, who refused to accept Poland’s forgiveness due to the country’s bumpy roads and substandard morals. “Every one of them has tried to fill the existential hole of being Polish with electronic sports.”

Thorin’s writing was well-received by all members of the ESPORTS community, whether they were of inferior Slavic descent or not, and many understood that his negative thoughts of Poland were influenced by Shields “hating traveling to any country, not just that particular shithole.”

“I applaud Thorin’s in-depth, frank analysis of my home country,” admitted ESL Managing Director Michal “Carmac” Blicharz, a Polish citizen who courageously worked his way up from a destitute Third-World upbringing, lacking basic essentials like Levi’s jeans, American action movies, and Los Angeles Lakers merchandise.

“Thorin has performed a careful analysis of my homeland’s long and complicated legacy, from its founding under the Piast Dynasty; to its glory days under the Polish-Lithuanian Empire; to its slow decline under weak kings dominated by the nobility; to its partitions, annexations, and subjugation under various national powers; to its oppressed existence as a Soviet buffer state; and to its courageous and peaceful revolution, led by the Solidarity movement and Pope John Paul II,” Blicharz continued. “He was then able to carefully apply anecdotal evidence from Polish Counter-Strike players to this exhaustive historical analysis.”

While fans of the Thorin eagerly await the third installment of his Apology Trilogy, many are doubting whether his Facebook status about leaving OnGamers or this Poland-centric article qualify, as neither posts contain any admission of guilt or expression of regret.

In a triumphant ceremony to be held next Monday, Polish President Bronisław Komorowski plans to bestow Thorin with Poland’s Order of the White Eagle, the country’s highest honor. The award will be presented by former League of Legends professional player and current TSM coach Andy “Reginald” Dinh, who is able to give the award due to his opposable thumbs and large, anthropoid brain.

