At a time when it feels like the world is descending into a far scarier and less stable version of itself, it's a comfort to know that we still have friends like Germany's Angela Merkel, who is thoughtful, even-keeled, and, above all, an adult. So when she came to visit Donald Trump's White House, he obviously protected that relationship and recognized that Merkel is a valuable ally. Oh, what's that? He didn't do that and instead behaved like the petulant child who makes other adults think twice before having kids? Of course he did.

President Trump's Awkward Photo Opp With German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Annotated Oh my God, make it stop.

The Sunday Times reports that, upon meeting the German chancellor, President Trump allegedly handed her a bill for over 300 billion euros (or roughly $326 billion) that he feels Germany owes NATO and the United States, as each NATO country is expected to pay 2 percent of its GDP toward defense. (Update: A spokesperson for the German government has denied the report. The Sunday Times is standing by its story.) And though Germany is upping its spending in that area, it still falls below that threshold. The bill reportedly tallied up all amounts below that threshold since 2002 and added interest. Apparently the Germans, who let us remember ARE OUR ALLIES, did not take kindly to the gesture.

The bill — handed over during private talks in Washington — was described as “outrageous” by one German minister. “The concept behind putting out such demands is to intimidate the other side, but the chancellor took it calmly and will not respond to such provocations,” the minister said.

First of all, what the hell is up with this administration and props? Whether it's Sean Spicer using stacks of paper or Trump handing over fake bills, they act like everything is for a reality-TV show and needs to be done visually. This is diplomacy—you can just talk to each other. Second, the Germans also make an excellent point that buying guns isn't the only way to spend on defense, and perhaps more categories of spending should be included in that number.

In an interview with the Rhein-Neckar-Zeitung newspaper to be published Monday, Germany’s Foreign Minister Sigmar Gabriel also hit back at Trump’s comments, German broadcaster Deutsche Welle reported. “A sensible security policy is not just buying tanks, driving defense spending to insane heights and escalating the arms race,” he said. “A reasonable policy means crisis-prevention, stabilization of weak states, economic development and the fight against hunger, climate change and water scarcity.”

That is absolutely true. Spending on international development is another way of keeping a nation safe, not that the party of "Hey, give more people guns and that'll stop gun violence" can understand that. But maybe they can understand a good burn:

A source close to Merkel was dismissive. “The president has a very unorthodox view on Nato defence spending,” the source said. “The alliance is not a club with a membership fee.”

I'm sure Donald Trump read that quote on a golf course somewhere and was furious.

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