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The cellphone "bars" that indicate signal strength are also lying to you, in a number of ways. The simplest one is that in most cases, the bars have nothing to do with signal quality. PC World tested cellphone service in 13 cities and found that only one city (Phoenix) showed a correlation between bars and service quality. In San Francisco, only 13 percent of their test calls showed any relationship whatsoever between bars and quality.

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Not included: Data on the quality of San Francisco bars.

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There's two other keys to the puzzle that would really tell you what your service quality is. One is a number called EC/I0. The bars tell you how much signal you're getting, but the EC/I0 number tells you how much is actually usable. They don't put that on your phone because it changes so fast your bars would spaz out and never give a single solid reading, which would drive most users nuts and send them to the returns counter. The second key is that cellphone communication goes two ways. The bars tell you how well you're getting signal from the tower, but nothing can tell you how well the reverse link -- from your phone to the tower -- is working.

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All the forward link (tower to phone) quality in the world won't do you any good if your reverse link is weak or down. And that's not something your phone can really tell you. But don't you worry your pretty little head about that, because here's some bars to keep you happy.

Not everything on your phone is sweet, sweet lies, though. Your Angry Birds score is probably accurate.

For humans who have deceived you over the years, check out 6 Lies About the Human Body You Learned in Kindergarten and 6 Famous Explorers Who Shaped The World (With Insane Lies).

And stop by LinkSTORM to aid you in your Thanksgiving fast.

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