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Apparently the new hotness among Republicans is legislating against things that don’t exist. First Congress voted to knock down imaginary farm dust regulations, and now the Oklahoma Legislature has introduced a bill that would outlaw food “which contains aborted human fetuses in the ingredients or which used aborted human fetuses in the research or development of any of the ingredients.” Always a major concern!

Actually, according to Gawker’s extensive investigative journalism, only three major food companies definitely do not have human fetuses in their food. The others haven’t called back yet, so you should figure they are basically flogging the embryonic equivalent of Soylent Green. Still, unless you really think that General Mills is manufacturing Fetus Flakes just because they didn’t respond to a phone inquiry (which must have sounded like a prank call), this is kind of like moving to ban the use of the Avada Kedavra curse. What gives?

Well, apparently Oklahoma State Senator Ralph Shortey, who introduced the bill, got wind of the fact that some companies use proteins derived from stem cells in their food research. For instance, PepsiCo works with a flavor research firm that uses a cell line cultured from a human embryo in 1970. What?? The flavors might have been tested on a cell that might have been grown from a cell that might have been grown from a cell that might have been grown from a fetus 40 years ago? Shit, clearly if you drink Pepsi you are both a cannibal and an abortionist.

See: State Bill Outlaws Use Of Fetuses In Food Industry,

NPR