Hundreds of people in my life have told me that the only person I can ever count on is myself. Hundreds of movies and songs have told me that I have to learn to trust and depend on others to help me out of bad situations. Churches point to God. Governments point to their own systems. Kanye West ... well, he's the same as the church example, except he points his finger at his own chest.

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Who is right?

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The truth is, it's all a soupy mix that changes from person to person. That's what you have to examine. Have you avoided shooting for your dream job because you've been told all your life that being rich is a one-way ticket to spiritual doom? Are you with an abusive or destructive person because you have a kid together and are now "morally obligated" to stay? Or maybe there's a drug that's destroying your life, but you keep doing it because you've always been told that it's harmless ... your problems have to be coming from somewhere else, right? Maybe it's that you're too perfect.

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Maybe it's time to biopsy those tumors and find out if they need to be removed.

Examining these beliefs is not a small deal. If I had hung on to every lesson my family taught me, I'd be a racist drug dealer, calling in sick to a factory job that I hate and dealing with DCFS every other month. I'd be stealing money from my grandmother and teaching my kids about sex by showing them a hardcore porno. You have to be willing to question it all ... even the stuff that seems innocent and correct. What worked for your parents isn't necessarily going to work for you.