So a little back story...

In the past (about 3-4 years ago) I went through a severe depression, anxiety and panic disorder and MUSIC is what saved me and helped me get through it. More specifically, concerts. If it wasn't for live music, I don't think I would have gotten through it. I was averaging 5 panic attacks per day. My heart would beat so fast, I would feel like I was going to have a heart attack. Do you know how it feels to think you're having a heart attack 5 times a day? Not very pleasant. At one point, I developed Agoraphobia...which is, essentially, another anxiety disorder that makes your not want to leave your comfort zone. In my case, that was home. I didnt want to leave home. Ever.

I had tickets to a Deadmau5 concert. Which is my fave DJ/Producer. And my friends called me to see what time I was going to meet them at. To which I responded "hell no. im not going! im staying home!". Well they didnt take this lightly. They showed up and literally dressed me and took me to the show. At this point, I was staying near the exit most of the night...until Deadmau5 came on stage. He started his set and i found myself getting closer and closer to the stage. Without even realizing it. At one point, he played my favorite track. "Raise your weapon". But it was no ordinary version. It was a remix. One that I had never heard. All of a sudden, where i thought there would be a bass drop, it went quiet and dark. For a few seconds...and then BOOM. The drop. I swear to you all, i was in a state of euphoria. I had some kind of outer body experience. I then realized that I could not deprive myself of the things that i love doing BECAUSE OF MY ANXIETY. From that moment on, I never had another panic attack in my life. Anxiety comes and goes. But thats normal. Agoraphobia is gone too. I am so much stronger and see life differently. And Deadmau5, without knowing, helped me achieve that. That was September 30th 2011. The best day of my life.

So I had written some of my story in my likes/dislikes on redditgifts just to give my Secret Santa some history about myself.

The following is what I saw on my couch, waiting for me, when i arrived at home from a long, crappy day at work. It is the single most thoughtful gift that I have ever gotten in my life. Its beautiful. And i am so thankful for it. I will cherish it forever. Whoever you are, I love you! From the bottom of my heart. Thank you.