The Telltale Heart , by Edgar Allen Poe. Half-blind elderly man gets in bad rental situation.

Moby Dick by Herman Melville. Sports fishing contest strains nerves.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. A young man's lifelong struggle with anger management issues, domestic abuse and hygiene problems.

Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare. Hormonal teens and their families enact Jerry Springer-like drama.

The Scarlett Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Single mother makes "A" of herself with local preacher.



Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain. Head injury patient experiences a couple of rough knights.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Coming of age tale says "Boo" to racism.



The Odyssey by Homer. Ancient Greek goes on road-trip, meeting a rag-tag team of misfits along the way.



Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. Teacher strives to overcome classism, sexism and an erratic, non-union employment situation.

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. Frenchman in frame-job seeks justice, revenge, and inspires tasty sandwich.



Bridge of San Luis Rey by Thornton Wilder- Shoddy public works department effort in Peru leads to potential lawsuit.

Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll- Indigestion of picnic lunch triggers colorful socio-political dream sequence.

Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy. Jude carries pain of the world on his shoulders before getting McCartney's good advice.



Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. Rejection of adopted child with a disability turns love to hate and overseas travel.

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. Amber Alert candidate goes too far with real-life MySpace page and child predator.

Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift. Man acts as connection between bigwigs and the little people.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Five sisters in rural district seek 29 dimensions of compatibility before the invention of online dating.

Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. An artist finds a corrupt male model puts too much of himself into his work.

Ever read the local TV listings and marvel at their ability to cram the plot of an epic film into just a few words? Unfortunately, sometimes space constraints mean they might have to overlook a few of the nuances.So this had me thinking, what if the same folks who summarize television shows and movies had to write up listings for classic books?Well, I think they might go something like this:Have any you'd like to add to this list? Just let me know!-----------------------------------------------