Teenage boys and bedroom amateurs alike, please hold your applause -- we're going to try to keep these two large, hideous triangles of fabric from automatically unhinging and potentially injuring you and the poor girl you've most likely definitely bribed to wear that thing, and enter your apartment.

And while we have your attention, listen up: Do yourself a favor and learn how to unclasp the two or three stupid hooks on the back of any normal, functional bra without having to fumble around like an idiot because you're a) rusty or b) asexual.

Sure, that's a little harsh, but you'll thank us later when you don't have to buy (or make) your "girlfriend" the Clap-Off Bra, manufactured by a San Francisco-based designer who thought fixing a USB cable, circuit board, and 9V battery to a pair of his mom's shoulder pads with an ugly-ass bow would really do the trick.

(No word on whether he'll have to create clap-off pants to ever be able to get past second base.)

While the design's not yet for sale (though you can contribute to the project via kickstarter), the designer shows how he made the above monstrosity, complete with "try-this-at-home" instructions. Just be sure to check out the slightly NSFW informational video below to see what you're really getting into ...

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