A group of fools have accidentally vandalised local burger chain The Good Burger, mistaking it for a newly opened space for the LGBT community.



“We just saw those letters and flew into a rage,” said local inbred Lewis Francis. “I mean, I can’t read, but I know that spells trouble for sure. How dare people do something that has absolutely no bearing on mine or anyone else’s life, especially in the privacy of a space specifically dedicated to them,” the stain told us.



Windows were smashed and badly spelled graffiti was sprayed along the walls. It was only after a member of staff came out and accused them of being vegan activists that they realised their mistake.



“I’ll be honest, it was pretty embarrassing – some guy came out and starting yelling about ‘bloody vegans again’,” the man-child said. “Boy were our faces red when he pointed out that we’d just vandalised a New York-inspired gourmet burger fast-food chain and not, as we thought, a safe haven for people to escape people like us.”



It’s the latest in a series of mistaken identity incidents involving the gang. Earlier this month, a man with an LG phone on the BT mobile network was attacked in the streets, while just last week a research laboratory manufacturing the drug Butyltolylquinuclidine (BTQ) was also targeted.



When asked for their motivation, the group had some thoughts.



“Is what we tried to do really so wrong?” one asked. “How else am I supposed to display my repressed feelings of sexual insecurity and frustration to the world, if I can’t attack those I’m jealous of for having accepted who they really are? When you think about it, really it’s us that need a space to express ourselves, not them.”



The incident is thought not to be related to a similar incident earlier this week, where a group of dyslexic vegans reportedly attacked a newly opened LGBT space, seemingly mistaking it for local burger chain TGB.

