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In Big Little Lies, the best show you haven’t watched yet, Nicole Kidman has returned to the top of her game – this time on the small screen.

In the book-turned-limited television series, directed by Jean-Marc Vallée, Kidman plays Celeste, a woman who is being physically and emotionally abused by her husband (played by a menacing Alexander Skarsgard).

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When Kidman met with the book’s author, Liane Moriarty, to persuade her to allow herself and Witherspoon to adapt the story, Moriarty said yes, with one condition: she play Celeste.

While speaking with Vogue recently, Kidman said, “I am playing her and got deeply enmeshed in her. I felt my way through that character because the only way to play her was to feel and be her. There are other characters that are easier to intellectually approach, but this was visceral.”

Those visceral scenes have been noted for their graphic violence and realistic portrayal of an abusive marriage, and that may be partially because Kidman went somewhat method when the series was in production, taking much of the emotional weight of her character home with her to husband Keith Urban.