Do you lie awake at night because you didn’t order televangelist Jim Bakker‘s Giant Buckets of Food for the impending apocalypse? Have you forgotten how to order things from the internet?

Have no fear. Bakker has now launched a non-stop End Times survival shopping network.

When I watched it last night, Bakker was trying to sell a quartz pendant by telling his wife how he was going to buy it for her for Christmas. And then I scrolled down and saw that for a mere $3,000, I could buy my own Bakker-approved grocery store.

You know, for someone who believes the world will end and the “saved” people will be Raptured, Bakker sure loves investing in new ways to get money from his followers.

Also interesting: Joe Jervis apparently heard Bakker say that running this network costs his ministry “$17,000 per hour.” If you do that math on that, it comes out to $148,920,000 per year.

They must be selling a hell of a lot of buckets to make a profit…

Or, you know, lying.

