For the “other” condition, participants were randomly assigned to an opponent. If they solved more problems than their opponents did, they received $2 for every problem they correctly solved. If they did not beat their opponent’s score, they received nothing.

It was Round 3 that we were most interested in. In this round, participants could choose whether to be paid the lower amount for each correct answer (as in Round 1) or to compete for high earnings (as in Round 2). In the “other” condition, in which participants who chose to compete did so against another person, we saw the usual pattern: Men were significantly more willing to compete than women and, as a result, walked away with more money. In the “self” condition, however, women were just as likely as men to choose to compete, to try to beat their own previous score.

Why is it that women do not choose to compete against others, but are eager to compete when the opponent is themselves? The answer is largely confidence. When competing against others, we find, women are less sure about whether they can actually win the competition — even when their ability tells us that they are very likely to do so. In the case of self-competition there is no such gender difference in confidence.

Competitions are a great motivational tool for increasing performance. This is one of the main reasons institutions often encourage competitive pressure. Our study also examined whether people improved their performance in the arithmetic task more between the first two rounds when Round 2 involved a competition against others versus self. It turns out that men and women who competed against themselves improved their score just as much as those who competed against another person. Thus our study suggests that competition against yourself is equally effective in improving performance.

Creating opportunities for self-competition in the workplace, then, is one way to make women equally competitive as men. We recommend that when possible, bosses steer competitive pressure to focus on self-improvement and mastery rather than competitions among colleagues. In addition, we suggest that bosses consider providing feedback to employees on their relative performance: If women know how well they are doing compared with their peers, they may be better equipped to make informed decisions about whether or not to compete against others. Above all, we encourage women to be aware of the female propensity to shy away from competitions. Take time to think about what is actually stopping you from competing. Is the competition really so scary?

Fostering self-competition is not the only way to make women as competitive as men. Previous research has also shown that women are more willing to compete against other women than to compete against men. The reason may be that female opponents have a positive impact on women’s confidence in their ability to perform and win. Indeed, this may be one reason the two of us agreed to participate in the wrestling match against each other.

The night of the tournament, the referee preemptively added a couple of extra rules to our “girl” match: no hair pulling and no tickling. The audience roared with laughter.

It turns out that neither one of us was ready to submit to her opponent. Our match went for three grueling rounds, the longest that night, leaving us both panting for air, exhausted but proud of ourselves for putting up a good fight. We will not reveal who won, but we are happy to report that neither of us resorted to tickling.