Of all the human interactions, the common handshake is probably the most fraught and complex encounter. Although the handshake warrants a guide as thorough as the Kama Sutra, you will struggle to find any such thing on library bookshelves.

In recent times several notables have been caught out disgracing themselves in what should be the simplest of transactions.

Prime Minister John Key must still cringe inwardly over the incident at the 2011 Rugby World Cup where he hijacked a handshake between Richie McCaw and Bernard Lapasset.

Only days ago, Bill Gates caused an outcry in South Korea when he shook hands with President Park Geun Hye with his non-shaking hand in his pocket.

I have therefore taken it upon myself to write a comprehensive code for the handshake in the hope many humiliating encounters will be avoided.

1. Do not attempt a handshake with dirty hands unless both parties have soiled appendages. It's perfectly acceptable for two workmen or women on a building site to shake hands but a mechanic emerging from beneath a grimy vehicle with oil-stained hands should not offer his mitt to a customer entering the workshop.

2. There are few worse handshake experiences than engagement with a clammy hand. A sweaty sort of mitt generally indicates ill-health and as humans, we are conditioned to avoid contact with disease. People afflicted with the clammy hand condition should carry alcohol- based hand wipes and prepare their hand carefully before shaking.

3. The body position is an underrated part of the handshaking equation but is very important. The best position is to stand with one foot slightly ahead of the other to avoid being unbalanced by the other party with a slight and sometimes deliberate jerk in a push/pull direction.

4. Never shake hands sitting down unless each party is seated. Staying seated while receiving the handshake of a standing person is the height of bad manners unless, of course, the interaction involves a paraplegic or an elderly person. Remember that a handshake is sending a signal of openness and respect, not one of casual indifference.

5. The grip is the most awkward and potentially disastrous part of handshaking. A situation where one of the parties has grasped only the fingers of the opposing hand is to be avoided at all costs. Unless you are a seasoned campaigner in the handshaking business, keep your eye firmly on the other's hand, especially at the beginning of the process. Conventional wisdom says you must make eye contact as you shake but ignore this if you want to avoid gaffes.

6. Keep your fingers firmly together and point your fingers slightly downwards and keep your thumb bent and pointing upwards. You are now entering a crucial part of the transaction so do not allow your concentration to waver. Treat the situation like mortal combat. Red-blooded males have a tendency to treat the handshake as a contest of virility and strength. You need to be alert to this to avoid being subjugated by the opposite party before uttering hardly a word.

7. As you approach what we call the lockdown, ensure the area between your thumb and pointing finger is pressing firmly against the same area of the opposing hand. Once the grip has been established, hopefully on fairly equal terms, you can make eye contact.

8. Remember handshaking must involve some actual shaking. This important part of the procedure is often forgotten. At least two shakes must be performed before the grip is released. A longer shake represents a strong bond or affection apropos the other party and this is inappropriate if you barely know the person. Hanging on for dear life is also a big no-no although it can be useful when dealing with someone like a politician in an informal setting. You can retain your grip until you have delivered your message.

9. Some crucial tips: When shaking pretend you have a hinge at your elbow and move only the forearm. Never try to shift the position of your hand once in lockdown. This demonstrates weakness and uncertainty. If you have girly man hands do not try to compete with someone who works with their hands like a farmer or an on-the-tools builder. All you can hope to do is neutralise their advantage by ensuring you follow the lockdown procedure to the letter. If you encounter the "wet fish" handshake, do not be tempted to reciprocate in the same fashion. Retain your dignity and after doing your duty disengage as soon as possible. Cross gender handshakes are another minefield all together and need their own code. People with funny handshakes need to be treated for the freaks they no doubt are.

10. Always wash your hands as soon as possible after handshaking. You just never know where the opposing hand has been.