The Challenge War of the Worlds 2 premieres in TWO F*CKING DAYS!! Don’t know what that is? Live under a rock? Don’t care? Then why are you here to begin with?

Do yourself a favour and watch the trailer to edify yourself.

Ma pal Allan Aguirre, also from this site, used to do previews of all the cast members before the season started, but not this year. The premiere date snuck up on all of us (we were expecting September at the earliest) and he ran out of time.

Obviously he has better things going on in his life — BUT I DON’T, so here are my player previews. Today is the Reinforcements, along with my judgment of who is the best politician, daily competitor, Lothario, elimination ringer, etc. The best part? I have no idea what shakes out this season — in terms of boot order or even amour — so these are not spoilers disguised as speculation like some people think is cool to do. So fear not!I

If you want to discuss this and anything related to The Challenge, come join us on the subreddit. It’s fab.

Oh ya, and here are previews for the Yankees (no, not baseball, who gaf about that?) and the Brits.

THE REINFORCEMENTS 👊🏽💥

1) Chris “CT” Tamburello (Real World Paris, debuted on Inferno 1) — champion 🇺🇸

- 15 previous seasons + 3 spin-offs

- 2 season wins (1 paired; 1 individual) + 5 other finals (+ 2 wins on the Champs vs Stars 1 & 2)

- 5–4 elimination record + 3 wins as a Mercenary

- Fortes: physical strength, intimidation, puzzles, eating, many allies, dailies

- Faiblesses: endurance

- Distinction: Considered the Greatest of All Time. Took the most seasons to finally win, becoming a champion on his ninth appearance. Made 5 finals without participating in an elimination round.

2) Natalie “Ninja” Duran (American Ninja Warrior, debuted on War of the Worlds 1) — rookie (and robbed champion) 🇺🇸

- 1 previous season

- 1 final + was 1st place of the women (but because of the one-winner twist is not a canon champion)

- 1–0 elimination record

- Fortes: physical strength, endurance, puzzles, dailies

- Faiblesses: lack of allies

- Distinction: won the daily or made the Tribunal 5 times on WotW1 (out of 13), won 2 eliminations, and got 1st place for the women, aka the best female debut performance of all time (Laurel on Fresh Meat II is up there too — also with 5 daily wins, 1 elim win, and an almost-victory in the final).

3) Turabi “Turbo” Çamkıran (Survivor Turkey, debuted on WotW1) — rookie and champion 🇹🇷

- 1 previous season

- 1 season win (individual) — and won Survivor Turkey twice

- 0–0 elimination record

- Fortes: physical strength, endurance, puzzles, dailies

- Faiblesses: lack of allies

- Distinction: most money won by a man ($750,000). Won the daily or made the Tribunal 6 times on WotW1 (out of 13), made the final without going into elimination on his first season, and got 1st place for the men, aka the best male debut performance since Landon on Inferno 2 (four 1st place finishes, 2 elim victories, and winning the season).

4) Dee Nguyen (Geordie Shore 17, debuted on WotW1) — rookie 🇦🇺

- 1 previous season

- Best finish: 6th place for women

- 2–1 elimination record

- Fortes: endurance, feistiness

- Faiblesses: swimming, lack of allies, fear of heights

- Distinction: learned to swim on WotW1 and then proceeded to make the Tribunal in the swimming daily.

SUPERLATIVES 🏆

These are educated guesses, not spoilers and not a hill I will die on. So it’s for fun only; don’t come at me sideways, CaraMariaDefenders and Turbo stans.

Most likely to picked 1st from the Reinforcements : Ninja and Turbo

: Ninja and Turbo Best daily competitor: Laurel/Ninja and Paulie/Jordan

Laurel/Ninja and Paulie/Jordan Best elimination ringer : Laurel/Kam and Wes/Leroy

: Laurel/Kam and Wes/Leroy Best final runner : Jordan/Turbo/Theo/Joss and Ninja

: Jordan/Turbo/Theo/Joss and Ninja Best politics : Ashley and Johnny

: Ashley and Johnny Best social game : Kyle and Georgia

: Kyle and Georgia Best intimidation factor : Laurel/Cara and CT/Zach

: Laurel/Cara and CT/Zach Best at puzzles : Ashley/Cara and Johnny/CT

: Ashley/Cara and Johnny/CT Best swimmer : Wes and Laurel

: Wes and Laurel Best eater : CT and Cara

: CT and Cara Best hookup game: Kyle and Ashley

Kyle and Ashley Strongest-looking debut : Jenny and Idris

: Jenny and Idris Best confessionals : Zach/Wes/Kyle and Georgia

: Zach/Wes/Kyle and Georgia Most underrated : Josh and Nany/Kayleigh

: Josh and Nany/Kayleigh Best cast photo: Paulie and Tori

You know how they say that the easiest way to get an answer to a question is to post the wrong answer online? Well, maybe that will be the case for the superlatives I just gave. Whaddya think?