Dungeon Master: “Okay, you’ve been tasked with keeping Karkat safe by Echidna”

Kanaya: “Alright Then”

Kanaya: “I Knock Him Out”

DM: “All right you- Wait, what!?”

Kanaya: “What Do I Roll To Knock Him Out”

DM: “You would roll an unarmed strike attack, you get advantage because he’s surprised, but I really don’t think-”

Kanaya: “Natural Twenty”

DM: “Critical Hit”

Kanaya: *rolls damage*

DM: “Oh my god. You knock Karkat out.”

Kanaya: “I Tell Him To Have Pleasant Dreams.”

DM: “He can’t hear you; you just knocked him out. What are you going to do with him now?”

Kanaya: “Leave Him Here Of Course”

Kanaya: “I Can Get Him After We Win”

DM: “…Leave him on the cold, dirty floor of the lava and ice-filled cavern occupied by a giant monster.”

Kanaya: “Yes”

DM: “Are you going to loot his body too?”

Kanaya: “Goodness No”

Kanaya: “My Alignment Is Lawful Good!”

*sound of DM furiously re-writing the scenario and sighing loudly*