For centuries, men have been forced to hide their "self-congratulation" rituals in dark corners and behind closed doors. Now men can furiously masturbate in plain site with all the discretion of a hidden ninja assassin thanks to the Portable Masturbatorium.

I'm pretty sure Nicholas Chaffin, the man behind the Personal Masturbatorium, never intended his portable stealth masturbation station to actually be used in public. Look at the picture above for any number of seconds and it's pretty obvious that you can slightly see through the damn thing. Either way, it gave us a good laugh.

If you are so inclined, you can purchase one using the barter system via Nicholas' Tumblr page... but we wouldn't recommend using it in public though.