I came home from work today, and saw my package waiting for me. I was excited to open it after following it online for several days, thanks to the lack of shipping on the 4th of July. The first thing I saw was not 1, not 2, not 3, not 5, not ten, but sixteen bags of air! When that air shortage comes along, I know I'm going to be totally prepared! :) after the air, I got see the first of my amazing arbitrary day gifts, a Clemson Comfy Throw! Did I rip that mofo open and put it on? you bet. Am I wearing it now as I type this, despite the fact it's close to 100 degrees in Georgia? damn straight. Is it gonna piss my wife off to have me lounging around the house in the one thing she told me I couldn't buy for my self? Hell to the mother fucking yes! Number of fucks given today: 0 (It's arbitrary day!) But wait.... there's more in this box?!?! What's this? It's a Fathedz toy beagle for my own beagle. Well played, stalker, I mean Santa. That's right, there are redditors that prefer dogs to cats, so what?!? wanna fight about it? Underneath this, what do we have here? It's a book that says 101 things to do with bacon [spoiler alert: they all end with eating it, so I suppose that's really only one thing. Where are the other 100????]. I think it's pretty damned obvious we have ourselves somebody who was determined to win at Arbitrary Day....

wait... we have gift notes from amazon:

For my Comfy throw (which I'm still wearing now): "At least you're not a Bulldog fan."

I'm guessing you're referencing the university of Georgia, which sadly, my SAT scores were too high and my rap sheet was too short for me to matriculate there.

For my beagle's toy beagle: "For your beagle a beagle. Hooray to a cat free redditor!" Nailed it.

For the 101 things to do with bacon: "I'll give you one extra thing to do with bacon: share it with your beagle!"

Yeah, about that... have you seen my beagle with cuteness turned up to 11??? Now you have.