So I waited all week until I finally had time to go and get my parcel from the post office. I work long hours, starting before they open and finishing after they close.

I raced to the post office this afternoon to receive my parcel. Not knowing what to think, I tore open the box to discover 5 different presents, each with their own little biography.

A skewer sword, which I'll be using tonight!!!

Whiskey Stones (Awesome!)

"Food" Fighters, for my army cakes and army lasagne! haha

The "Natural Harvest" Cookbook, a collection of recipes made from semen! haha, seriously had me laughing!

And last but not least, a home made pillowcase for my new pad, for those "Hard" nights, as described by the man himself Axle-f.

My favourite has to be the Semen Cookbook. I gotta upload this shiz to r/WTF. hahaha. It's ACTUALLY hilarious I was sent this, in the years I spent in kitchens training to be a chef, I developed a theory that you can make Pavlova from semen, substituting the main ingredient, egg whites, which are basically 100% protein, for semen. Which is ALSO, basically 100% protein and basically same chemical structure. So I thought, why couldn't you whip Cum to hard peak (no pun intended, though pretty funny) and make a friggin' Cum Pav?

Had me in stitches pal. Thanks heaps! I'll upload some pictures of those Cum Crepes for ya hahaha.

Thanks SS, your tha BOWWWSSS!