Skip the chocolates, flowers, and diamond anything. Take the one you love to one of these Valentine’s Day-themed comedy shows. Let laughter open a road to your significant other’s heart.

The first thing you should consider before picking a comedy show as a gift is to never call it a “VD gift.” Second, choose the kind of comedy your loved one most prefers. Are they the greedy? Never satisfied? The always-wanting-more type? Or are they just simply amazing, and you want to shower them with endless presents?

Either way, Hideout Week is your best bet. It features more than 30 comics in a six-day celebration starting Tuesday, Feb 13, and runs straight through Valentine’s Day until Sunday. Hosts Dylan Krasinski and Sam Ike are bringing in some hilarious people, including hometown hero done-well Joe List (Tuesdays With Stories), hilarious pro-feminist podcaster and comedian Corinne Fisher (Guys We F**ked), folk music humorist Mary Mack (Aqua Teen Hunger Force), Doug Key (VH1’s Naked Dating), Samantha Ruddy (Night Train with Wyatt Cenac), Dan Crohn, Will Noonan, Usama Siddiquee, and more.

Next on the list is Laura Severse and Eric Taylor’s show at Savin Bar and Kitchen in Savin Hill. The Dorchester Debutante and Worcester’s Prince of Recovery Treatment Charity shows host and produce this monthly party that coincidentally falls on Cupid’s holiday. The two have assembled a posse of merry-makers including Comedy Central’s Live at Gotham alum Sean Sullivan, Boston Comedy Festival finalist Zachary Brazão, rapid-fire punchline perfectionist Josh Day, Brookline’s Most Amusing Ageist Ellen Sugarman, and Nonye Brown-West of WICF’s Jelly. The show is FREE, and Savin Bar is also offering a $10 Burger and Beer (domestic drafts only).

For the Casanovas who aren’t clasping their cash, the Laugh is for Lovers: A Valentine’s Showcase at Laugh Boston is a raucous rejoicing provided by local favorites Dan Boulger (Late Night with Craig Ferguson), Nick Chambers (2 Dope Queens), Xazmin Garza, Will Noonan, and Tricia Auld, with resident introducer for the night Chris Tabb. Tickets for the show are $25 and can obviously be purchased in advance, but in the unlikely event you want print them out to do some dramatically over-the-top surprise gift reveal (which is a terrible idea, because if you’re doing that on the most romantic night of the year and there’s not a ring in that box, it doesn’t matter how big a comedy fan your partner is, you’re now single).

Rounding out the list of Feb 14 shows is Giggles Comedy Club in Saugus featuring Lenny Clarke with Christine Hurley (once you hear her stories of life with her husband, you’ll be thankful for your own relationship), Graig Murphy, and Johnny Pizzi. Show starts at 8 pm, tickets are $20 and can be purchased at the door. There’s also Queer Qomedy Hour at ImprovBoston in Central Square, Cambridge. A one-hour $5 showcase featuring dating jokes and stories gone awry from GLBTQ+ comedians, then used as comedy fodder by a local IB improv group. And no, I didn’t spell “Qomedy” wrong—it’s really what they call the show every month.

If you’re the type who has a job, or just doesn’t like celebrating holidays on their actual day, there are two love-themed shows after the 14th that are worth attending. On Thursday, Club Oberon will feature comedians and veteran storytellers sharing true and hilarious tales from their awkward horny youth days. Featuring Ken Reid (TV Guidance Counselor podcast), Nick Chambers, Will Smalley, Jessica Cerretani, and Sara Faith Alterman. Some may feel a bit uncomfortable hearing about other people’s sexual conquests and consequences, but I personally know this horde of hilarity-makers and can promise you’ll be walking out laughing. Tickets to V-Card Stories at Oberon are $12, and the show is at 7 pm on Thursday, Feb 15.

Finally, at Club Oberon on Friday, Feb 16, the gang from the Old School Game Show will be up to their usual interactive comedy quizzing high jinks. Join host Michael DeAngelo, along with burlesquer Ginny Nightshade, the Cubic Zirconia Dancers, the Old School Game Show House Band, and special guest comedian Sean Sullivan for a Family Feud-style, Danielle Steele-approved pop-culture trivia comedy show. Your $19 ticket includes a chance to be a contestant on the game show, and hence to answer the silk pajamas-clad host’s inquiries in order to win fabulous prizes from local sponsors. Tickets to either Old School Game Show, V-Card Stories, or both can be purchased at cluboberon.com.

For tickets, lineups, and more info on any of these Valentine’s Day-themed shows, or for everything Boston Comedy, go to BostonComedyShows.com. Also, please check out the short comedy film Deleting I helped make featuring a dozen Boston comedians at bit.ly/deletingfilm