It also gives you a lot. It's exhilarating to lose yourself in a scene. But there have been scenes, and months, where I felt like the light had been extinguished in Kendall's life and tried not to permit myself to have any light either. While everyone is having fun on set, I rigorously held myself to the stricture of the deficit of those things that Kendall had. Rereading "Crime and Punishment" helped me find that sense of isolation. And you take it home with you.