(I am pleased to share this guest post with you by my good friend, NicksMommy, who is also a mom raising a son with autism. – Miz Kp)

During a recent conversation with a fellow warrior mom, we talked about how our children are treated by “typical” children. Children can be mean. They laugh, point, or some will even mimic our children’s behavior. When this happens to my son, I just remove him from the situation and let him play alone. Many times at the playground I have said, “Nick wants to play but he plays differently than other kids.” Honestly, I am getting a little tired of having to repeat myself.

Recently, I had a wonderful experience with a little boy named A.J. He is the five-year old son of my cousin, Yolanda. During our family picnic in July, Nick was being his usual self – sitting alone on a blanket playing with his toy cars. Occasionally, he would look up and see the other boys playing ball, but he didn’t approach them.

When Nick had finished digging in the dirt, he wanted to play with his iPad. Well, A.J. saw the iPad and came running over and sat on the bench next to Nick. Immediately Nick put up his hands and tried to block A.J. from seeing what he was playing with. A.J. did not give up as he tried to sneak in a turn on the iPad. I told A.J. that it was okay if he wanted to play with it and I told Nick that he had to share with A.J. However, Nick was being very defensive and was trying to push A.J. away. A.J. turned around and very quietly said to his aunt, “Nick doesn’t know how to share.” She quietly shushed him. But A.J. was right – Nick doesn’t know how to share!

A.J. moved closer to Nick and started a conversation about the app game – a one-sided conversation because Nick doesn’t talk yet. This didn’t seem to bother A.J. at all. With a little tugging, I managed to take the iPad from Nick and give it to A.J. so he can have his turn. I expected a tantrum from Nick, but it didn’t happen. He just sat there pouting but he sat very closely watching his cousin play. Then, it happened – the boys played together – each politely taking turns.

Next, they turned their attention to a bag of ice that was being thrown out. They took turns throwing the ice into the trees and bushes, each one trying to throw it farther. I could see in Nick’s face that he was having a great time doing what boys do and for the rest of the day – they played until it was time to go home.

Yolanda said that later that evening A.J. asked her: “Why doesn’t Nick talk?” She simply told him that Nick was a little shy but that as he gets older, he will talk. After that explanation, A.J. asked his mom when he can hang out with Nick again because he had so much fun at the picnic. Although he is only five-years old, his mother answered his question about Nick and gave him an explanation that made sense to him. I wish all children were like A.J. but I know that he is the way he is because of his parents. They have taken the time to instill in their boys the importance of respecting others and just being nice.

Unfortunately, this past weekend I had another experience. I was on the city bus with Nick when he started to make loud noises that I could only describe as a squeal. He does this when he gets excited. A boy and a girl about five-years old turned around and just stared at my son and they started to whisper to each other – as Nick looked on.

I saw the little boy giggle as he glanced back at my son. I looked right at them and told them in a nice calm voice to “stop being rude, please turn around and mind your business.” They looked shocked but the worst part for me – their mother did not even notice what her children were doing as she sat there talking with her companion. The kids turned around and did not look back for the rest of the ride. Maybe I was wrong for talking to the children in that way but at that moment I felt I had to speak up for my son.

I know that this will not be the last time that I would have to deal with this situation. I hope that as my son gets older, he will be able to protect and stand up for himself and others.

It is a hurtful situation and unfortunately will continue to happen unless parents teach their children to be respectful to others! The children who think it is okay to be mean to other children because they are “different” will grow up to be adult that do the same.

I just wish A.J.’s mom was in charge of educating these children.



