Staying sane in an insane world requires an extraordinary set of skills and a very strong mind. Just making it through the day reminds us of the survival of the fittest. The world is slowly spinning out of control, and so are we. “Keeping up with the Joneses” is no longer an applicable expression when we compare ourselves to millionaires and photo-shopped images. The grass is no longer greener on the other side of the fence but, seemingly, on everybody’s Facebook page. Most of us feel under tremendous pressure to adapt as fast as possible to the many changes all around us and to keep up with the information flow – as if that were possible. There are too many things to check off our to-do list from the moment we wake up. After that, we are being told by countless individuals, experts, and interests groups that we ought to do more later: get and/or lose stuff; embrace and/or fix our emotional experiences; prevent the worst and/or invite the best. In other words, we are psychologically disintegrating in a modern life pressure cooker.

Eternal optimists point out that we never had a better life in the Western world because we no longer starve, die of simple infections, or bleed to death during childbirth. Girls’ would be on the rise worldwide and women have more rights than ever before in civilization. The correction here would be to focus on the good and count our blessings. Realists point out that war and natural catastrophes take a much greater toll on our wellbeing than any of the listed pressures. Maybe we are just spoiled and forgot to be strong. This could be remedied with strength and training, or, maybe, a verbal slap in our faces that says, “Snap out of it and take responsibility already.” While I find any slap distastefully dismissive, I must admit that both optimists and realists make good points. Except their explanations do not cut it. Even when we focus on the positive, become and responsible, we still suffer. Human beings need an environment that is conducive to inner peace and , happiness as in “experiencing life fully” and “being engaged and present.” Neither do we live off bread alone nor do we get to be loving and soft with a stiff upper lip. It will always be challenging for most people to live in a society without ample social and connections (see 10 Tips to Get Past Loneliness), without access to clean water, air, and forests, and without serenity and good .

As far as most people go, must be changed politically. Every single person who thinks about what human beings need (not want) can form a political will that will eventually impact a representative. It is a matter of time. However, you, the individual, might not have that time and certainly do not have to wait for sweeping political changes. You can take care of our happiness now1:

You can let go of things and simplify your life.

Focus on good and meaningful personal to generate flow.

Focus on loving encounters. Be kind.

Learn to focus on the flow already inherent in life.

Beyond taking care of your individual happiness, I think it crucial to dramatically reduce the pressure under which you find yourself.

1. Become Conscious

It all starts with becoming conscious of what exact pressure you feel. This is different from person to person, so take your time, think, and write it down. The more specific and precise you are pinpointing the pressure, the more effective the method will be. For example, “I feel the pressure to give my child X, Y, or Z” or “I feel the pressure to be successful in X, Y, or Z.” Next…

2. Distinguish

Make three categories and ask yourself if your pressure is based on a “truly important need,” “a strong wish,” or a “vague desire.”

3. Create More Distance to Your Experience

Rate the degree of which you identify with each of the items on your pressure list from one to ten. Ask yourself, “Is the need/wish/desire I feel truly me? How much is it me?”

4. Challenge Your Belief

Ask yourself if it is true that your need/wish/desire is as important as you experience it at first. What would happen if you let go of a particular need/wish/desire?

5. Make a Conscious Decision

Imagine in detail how your life would be if you were free of the want or of identifying with your want. Is holding on to what you want worth the pressure or can you let go of it? Try to imagine the inner peace you would experience if you were free of want. At this point, you can close your eyes and just breathe into the idea or sensation of peace. As you open your eyes, make the decision to either keep the want alive, let it be, or let it go. Whatever you decide, you will probably feel less pressure.

This pressure-releasing method needs practice. Once you become familiar with it, you will hopefully slow down, smile more, sit with your cat, or enjoy a cup of tea with your friend more often.

© 2019 Andrea F. Polard, PsyD. All Rights Reserved.