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Hitler ranting about the Destiny expansion fiasco...

Hitler Rants about Destiny: The Taken King

00:00 - 00:03 We have breaking news from E3.

00:04 - 00:05 Destiny's next expansion, The Taken King

00:05 - 00:07 has been officially announced.

00:08 - 00:12 It promises new content, new subclasses, and a raid.

00:12 - 00:15 New emotes, shaders, and class items are included in the Collectors Edition.

00:17 - 00:19 I have a spare $20 laying around.

00:19 - 00:21 Hell, I'd drop $40 for the Collectors Edition.

00:24 - 00:26 My Führer

00:27 - 00:28 The Collectors Edition...

00:31 - 00:33 The Collectors Edition is $80 with all previous content included.

00:34 - 00:36 The expansion alone costs $40.

00:53 - 00:58 Everyone leave the room except: DeeJ, Luke, Josh, and Lars.

01:13 - 01:15 The Fuck is this Shit?!?

01:15 - 01:17 I have to pay $80 on top of everything I've already payed?

01:18 - 01:23 I've been playing this God forsaken game since Alpha!

01:25 - 01:28 *I* discovered the fucking loot cave.

01:29 - 01:31 My legendary engrams turned to blue trash.

01:31 - 01:34 But now you're telling me to buy a broken game twice?

01:34 - 01:37 If I want to have the same new dance move

01:37 - 01:40 as a noob, kinderguardian thats never stepped foot in VoG?

01:40 - 01:42 But wouldn't you like to throw your money at Bungie?

01:42 - 01:46 Throw money at them? I'd rather throw a bag of dicks at them!

01:46 - 01:48 The notion of spending this money is making you anxious, I can see it.

01:48 - 01:52 The only thing you'll see is my God Damned Gjallarhorn,

01:53 - 01:54 as I SKULLFUCK you with it!

01:56 - 01:57 I fooled myself into thinking the Dark Below was worth it.

01:57 - 02:00 Running through old content, backwards.

02:00 - 02:03 Beating a raid so lame, it could be completed solo.

02:04 - 02:08 Weapons were worse than lower damage Vault gear.

02:08 - 02:13 When they finally bestowed upon us a "hard" mode raid?

02:14 - 02:16 It was only artificially hard,

02:17 - 02:21 due to poor design and more bugs than the Temple of Doom.

02:27 - 02:29 But then came the House of Wolves.

02:30 - 02:34 They finally stopped punishing you for getting new gear.

02:34 - 02:36 You didn't lose levels because you found new armor.

02:41 - 02:42 Have you tried PoE?

02:43 - 02:47 A potential time sink, with no checkpoints, and rewards that aren't worth the effort.

02:48 - 02:53 They put the best PvE weapons in a PvP event of all places.

02:54 - 02:56 Did you wish more people used Thorn?

02:56 - 02:59 Like getting one-shot by a noob with a final round sniper?

03:00 - 03:02 Perhaps you prefer blinking shotgun scrubs?

03:04 - 03:07 I know, I'll never see the Lighthouse either.

03:14 - 03:16 There aren't enough Passage Coins in the Reef

03:19 - 03:23 to carry my sorry ass through Trials.

03:25 - 03:26 Maybe Iron Banner?

03:31 - 03:33 And now they expect me to give them more money?

03:40 - 03:46 Just so I can play as Hawkeye, Thor, or the Emperor from Star Wars?

03:46 - 03:49 You'd think Disney bought them too.