Engineering graduates keen to know if you want fries with that

Nearly a quarter of all UK engineering graduates this morning said their degrees had proven to be worthless, before asking if you were eating in or taking it away.

The study showed that thousands of pounds of debt left them in a perfect position when competing for jobs with lesser-qualified applicants at premium fast-food outlets.

McDonald’s manager Shane Williams told us, “It’s a bit of a no-brainer really, of course we prefer engineering graduates over the typical one-GCSE applicants we used to get.”

“I’m delighted with the engineering graduates on our staff. They can operate all the machinery, they tend to be pretty good with complex instructions, and they break down weeping no more than twice a day.”

“If we could make their smiles a bit less of a grimace they’d be perfect.”

Engineering graduates

The CBI, which represents British businesses, said employers still complained of a shortage of suitably qualified and employable graduates.

A spokesperson said, “Sure, they turn up with a ‘degree’ so they might technically be qualified, but then they open their mouths and I don’t understand the words coming out of it. I’m not employing that. Especially not to build stuff.”

“They do however make a mean burger, so I’m happy to let them serve me at lunchtime.”