Good afternoon everybody. Never mind Nick Clegg and the Lib Dems, Roberto Martinez and Wigan Athletic take on the mantle of king-makers in the UK this afternoon. Win or draw against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge this afternoon and they'll leave the door ajar for Manchester United to barge through with victory over Stoke City at Old Trafford. Lose and Chelsea will be crowned champions for the fourth time in their history, enabling John Terry to end his season horribilus on an upbeat note by hoisting the Premier League trophy skywards as his team-mates spray each other with champagne and pogo enthusiastically on a hastily erected plywood advertising hoarding.

Despite Wigan's 3-1 win over Chelsea in September, the bookies don't give them a prayer this afternoon; they're 25-1 shots to win today and 11-1 to draw. Stranger things have happened, but top mathematicians have announced it would take a big-game choke of (Zlatan Ibrahimovic + Thierry Henry) x (John Terry In The 2008 Champions League Final Penalty Shoot-Out + Greg Norman) proportions for Carlo Ancelotti's merry men to mess up this afternoon. As weirdness goes, it would be straight from David Lynch's subconscious. For the neutrals among us, it would also be very funny.

They've won six of their last seven games, scoring 25 goals in the process, with their only reverse coming at the hands of Tottenham Hotspur at White Hart Lane on 17 April.

The teams

Chelsea (4-3-3): Cech, Ivanovic, Alex, Terry, Ashley Cole, Lampard,Ballack, Malouda, Kalou, Drogba, Anelka.

Subs: Hilario, Joe Cole, Zhirkov, Paulo Ferreira, Sturridge, Matic, Belletti.

Wigan (4-1-4-1): Pollitt, Melchiot, Gohouri, Caldwell, Figueroa, Boyce,

McCarthy, Watson, Diame, N'Zogbia, Rodallega.

Subs: Stojkovic, Thomas, Scharner, Scotland, Moses, Cywka, Mostoe.

Referee: Martin Atkinson (W Yorkshire)

Meanwhile on Sky Sports: Over a bespoke commentary from Channel 4 racing's Derek "Tommo" Thompson, they're showing a montage featuring clips from assorted Manchester United and Chelsea matches throughout the season, cutting occasionally to footage of two racehorses galloping upsides each other neck-and-neck. It's been a two-horse race, see? See?

Meanwhile in Italy: It's Bologna 1-1 Catania with two minutes to go. The draw on that game was priced up at 1-3 (it would normally be about 5-2 or 3-1) and the 1-1 draw was even-money (it would normally be 7-1 or 8-1). For all the Premier League's shortcomings, if a fix like that took place there'd be uproar, followed by investigations, inquiries and suspensions/bans. In Italy it's so routine such results are greeted with shoulder-shrugs all round.

Not long now: The teams are lined up in the tunnel, awaiting the call to arms. Chelsea's players are wearing their customary home strip of blue shirts and shorts, with white socks. Wigan's wear orange shirts and socks, with black shorts.

How they'll line up: Expect Chelsea to play a 4-3-3 with Michael Ballack in the centre of midfield flanked by Frank Lampard on the right and Florent Malouda on his left. Ahead of this trio, Didier Drogba will be supported by Salomon Kalou on the right wing and Nicolas Anelka on the left. Wigan will play a 4-1-4-1, with Steve Gouhouri patrolling the area in front of the back four and James McCarthy and Charles Nzogbia bookending Ben Watson and Mohamed Diame in a midfield four supporting lone frontman Hugo Rodallega.

1 min: Game on. Forget what I said about Wigan's line-up, they're playing three across the back: Gohouri, Boyce and Caldwell, with right-back Mario Melchiot and left-back Maynor Figueroa playing high up the field.

2 min: Nothing much of note happening at the moment, with most of the play taking place in the middle third as both teams pass, probe and prod in a bid to see what the lie of the land is early doors.

3 min: Michael Ballack steps in to intercept a wayward long pass out of defence from Emmerson Boyce, but then gives away possession himself. Chelsea win it back and Salomon Kalou goes on a storming run before getting brought down by Mohamed Diame about seven or eight yards outside the Wigan penalty area. Free-kick for Chelsea.

GOAL! Chelsea 1-0 Wigan (Anelka 6) Drogba fires the free-kick into the wall, it ricochets up in the air, Lampard heads it back into the mixer where Florent Malouda does well to hold off Gary Caldwell and chest the ball down for Nicolas Anelka to smash a volley past Pollitt from about eight yards out.

8 min: Any nerves Chelsea might have had going into this game must surely have been dissipated by that early goal. This could turn into a rout.

9 min: In all the excitement I forgot to mention that Malouda was offside when Lampard headed that rebound into the edge of the six-yard box in the build-up to the goal. It shouldn't have stood.

10 min: Wigan have responded well to their early setback. First Charles Nzogbia curls a shot high and wide, then they win a corner. It's pulled back to Maynor Figueroa who tries to dink it into the box. Alex clears.

11 min: "Here's how China sees things," writes Martin Stannard. "Chelsea are almost certain to win the title today, but rather than show that happen, Chinese TV is showing Manchester United v. Stoke. The word 'marketing' comes to mind."

14 min: Michael Ballack has a very frank exchange of views with the linesman patrolling the Chelsea half of the field, almost going nose to nose with him when the official has the temerity to award Wigan a free-kick instead of Chelsea the throw-in the German felt they deserved. The ball's sent into the mixer, a brief game of head tennis ensues and eventually it goes wide.

15 min: John Terry goes close when a long-range free-kick floated into the Wigan penalty area by Frank Lampard dropped kindly, but not quite kindly enough, for him. He stuck out a toe to try and prod it goalwards but the ball was this much out of reach. Wigan clear.

18 min: Possession stats: Wigan 57%-43% Chelsea. No, really.

19 min: Wigan win a throw-in on the edge of the final third and pass their way backwards into their own half. Like a stoner who's run out of Rizlas, they've lots of possession, but aren't sure what to do with it.

20 min: Ben Watson plays Hugo Rodallega through on goal with a defence-splitting pass from about 25 yards out, but the Colombian is correctly flagged for offside.

22 min: Without a shadow of a doubt, it's all Wigan Athletic at the moment. They're bossing Chelsea in the possession stats, they're stroking the ball around admirably and are just one or two decent killer passes away from restoring parity.

24 min: "Perhaps there's more United fans in China?" asks Adam Walker in response to Martin Stannards email, not exactly blowing the theory that marketing is the main motivation for it being broadcast over there. "Perhaps they realise the Utd game has a better chance of being entertaining (which at this moment, it's pretty high octane and very entertaining) while Chelsea games have a tendency to bore people to sleep?"

26 min: Drogba charges down the inside right channel before pulling a cross back from the touchline. Wigan goalkeeper Pollitt blocks the ball at his near post and puts it out for a corner from which nothing comes. Drogba's momentum carries him into and over an advertising hoarding behind the goal, where he has a brief chat and a laugh with a nice lady in whose lap he landed.

28 min: From the left wing, Anelka squares a ball across the edge of the six-yard box where Ashley Cole and Drogba are waiting. At the near post, the unmarked Cole tries to back-heel it home with his left foot a la Joe Cole-against-Manchester United but makes a pig ear of his effort, then behind him Drogba misses it completely.

29 min: Penalty for Chelsea after Frank Lampard is dragged to ground in the box by Gary Caldwell. Red card for Caldwell and a spot-kick for Lampard.

GOAL! Chelsea 2-0 Wigan Athletic (Lampard 32) Lampard shoots a low, unstoppable outswinger into the bottom left-hand corner. All is not well on Planet Chelsea, however: Didier Drogba has his big sulky-head on because he wasn't allowed to take it. He and Wayne Rooney are level on 26 goals each in the race to the golden boot, with Darren Bent two behind on 24.

34 min: On Sky, match analyst and self-confessed Premier League cheerleader Andy Gray is saying that Frank Lampard was right not to let Drogba take the penalty, because it was more important "to get the game won" than help the Ivorian win the golden boot. The way he's going on you'd swear Drogba was some sort of uncoordinated halfwit who's incapable of putting one foot in front of the other without falling over (insert gag about diving here), as opposed to one of the world's greatest strikers who's probably more than capable of beating Wigan's third-choice goalkeeper with a dead ball from 12 yards out.

39 min: Branislav Ivanovic slaloms down the right flank, beating three of Wigan's 10 men before losing his balance and falling over. That was a waste of time.

39 min: "I beg to differ with Martin Stannard," writes Aelred Doyle, determined to prolong what is arguably the most tedious, pointless debate in the history of minute-by-minute reporting. "I'm here in Shanghai watching Chelsea v Wigan on the Shanghai sports channel. CCTV5, the national sports channel, is showing Inter Milan on tape delay. Is he watching on a sneaky illegal satellite rather than actual Chinese television?"

41 min: The camera pans to Didier Drogba, who is quite clearly continuing to simmer and seethe over not being allowed to take that penalty. Once Lampard had put it away he ran over to his team-mate, cupped his face in his hands and said something to him. I'm no lip-reader, but I could definitely make out the word "promise" - he's obviously given Drogba dibs on any future penalties Chelsea get.

43 min: Mohamed Diame takes the ball off Ballack in midfield and bursts through the middle, only for his momentum to get the better of him and force him into a speed-wobble that gives Ballack time to recover and avert the danger before the Wigan midfielder can unleash a shot.

44 min: Booking I haven't got around to mentioning yet: Steve Gohouri for a foul on Salomon Kalou.

44+3 min:Mike Pollitt launches the ball down the field, prompting the referee to blow for half-time. Premier League champions elect Chelsea are 2-0 up against 10-man Wigan Athletic at home. Could we not just hand John Terry the trophy now so we can all get on with our lives? Incidentally, my colleague Rob Smyth reckons Terry will go up to receive the trophy shirtless, all the better to show off his only remaining captain's armband. He's a very cynical man, is Rob.

Half-time

Oh dear, oh dear: I've just seen what is probably the most corporate shill-tastic lager advert ever made. Those shamelessly taking the C*******g dollar: Jack Charlton, Kelly Holmes, Phil Taylor, Steve Davis, Trevor Brooking, Stuart Pearce, Nigel Benn, Clive Woodward, Steve Redgrave, the guitarist from Kasabian, Ian Botham, Bobby Robson's estate and Ellen MacArthur. A lot of knights and dames of the realm in there - I wonder does that push their fee up? It's all very grubby.

Half-time comments

"It's good of the Premier League to allow Martin Atkinson to ref at Stamford Bridge today," says Leon Davies. "Is this so he can join in the celebrations and collect the winners medal he earned in the two decisive games against United."

"Is it just me, or could these flag-waving pre-world cups ads with various notables giving up their dignity for coin have the capacity to become tiresome?" asks Tom Hopkins.

"If marketing is the explanation for why Manchester United is on Chinese television (and I don't disagree) then what's the explanation for the fact that here in the US on ESPN we're watching West Ham vs. Man City?" asks JOhn Speranza, before inviting readers to "Insert joke about ESPN's football savvy here."

"If Wigan are like stoners without a Rizla then Chelsea must be a bunch of nervous, sweaty smackheads who keep having to score," writes Ben Bamford.

Second half: Chelsea's 45-minute victory parade is underway. It would, after all, be completely unthinkable for Wigan to come back from 2-0 down against a Big Four side to draw or even win, eh Arsenal fans?

47 min: The ball's crossed into the Wigan Athletic box, where Frank Lampard (toe) and Nic Anelka (head) combine to steer it on to the Wigan crossbar. Even if they'd scored, it wouldn't have counted. Anelka was offside.

48 min: It will be interesting to see whether Didier Drogba brought the childish petulant hissy-fit that hampered his performance in the last 15 minutes of the first half into this period or left it in the dressing room. He's a great player, [minute-by-minute commentator adopts most pompous tone] but one who's in danger of spoiling his legacy by being remembered as a big baby.

51 min: Kalou charges down the inside right channel and shoots from a narrow angle when he probably should have crossed to Drogba at the far post. Wide. Moments previously, Charles Nzobia got booked for a pull on Ashley Cole's shirt.

53 min: "Is newly confirmed Chelsea fan and prime minister in waiting Dave Cameron at the match?" asks our old friend Alison Jeeves, who (wo)mans the turnstiles at London's O2 Arena. "Surely he will want to hand over the trophy, should it come to that. There is a joke about crosses in boxes somewhere but I can't locate it."

GOAL! Chelsea 3-0 Wigan Athletic (Kalou 54) Salomon Kalou peels off his shirt and sprints off in celebration after starting and finishing a marvellous move in which Frank Lampard's role was pivotal. Kalou charged down the right channel, played the ball out to Lampard on his left and then continued his into the box to pick up the return pass and slot the ball into the bottom left-hand corner from about 14 yards out.

GOAL! Chelsea 4-0 Wigan Athletic (Anelka 55 min) That's a great goal. A corner's played short(ish) to Branislav Ivanovic, who sends a sweeping cross-field pass to Anelka at the far post, about 15 yards out. He swivels, putting his foot through the ball and volleying a shot into the ground and up past Mike Pollitt in the Wigan goal.

58 min: Chelsea substitutions: Joe Cole and Juliano Belletti on, Salomon Kalou and Branislav Ivanovic off.

59 min: Didier Drogba blows an excellent chance to make the Golden Boot his own, but miscontrols a marvellous long pass into the Wigan penalty area from - I think - Frank Lampard in midfield. The ball squirts away from him when a more deft touch would almost certainly have resulted in a goal.

60 min: Joe Cole splits the Wigan defence with a pass up the right flank, releasing Drogba. He shoots diagonally across the face of goal and wide of the far post.

61 min: Chelsea take their foot of the gas for long enough for me to inform you that (a) Manchester United are 3-0 up against Stoke City, for all the good it will do them and (b) Salomon Kalou got booked after scoring his goal for removing his shirt, despite referee's assistant John Terry putting in a good word for him.

GOAL! Chelsea 5-0 Wigan Athletic (Drogba 62) Drogba perks up considerably after putting himself in the box-seat to win the Golden Boot, heading home a looping cross to the far post from Frank Lampard from all of three feet out. It was unfrotunate for Wigan goalkeeper Mike Pollitt, who had saved sensationally from a Drogba bicycle-kick seconds previously. The ball wasn't cleared, ended up with Lampard at the far post and he put it on a plate for his sulky team-mate. That's Chelsea's 100th goal of this Premier League campaign.

66 min: Penalty for Chelsea. Ashley Cole goes down in the box under a challenge from ... somebody. Apologies, I didn't see who.

GOAL! Chelsea 6-0 Wigan Athletic (Drogba 68) Drogba smashes the ball home off the left upright, showing Sky experts Andy Gray, Glenn Hoddle, Jamie Redknapp and Richard Keys that he's not the liability they seem to have him pegged for when it comes to taking penalties. If it had been John Terry who'd been wailing and moaning about not being allowed to take one they might have had a point.

70 min: Chelsea substitution: youthful Serbian midfield playmaker Nemanja Matic on, excitable German ref-botherer Michael Ballack off.

71 min: Wigan substitution: Paul Scharner on for his last Wigan appearance, I didn't see who was granted a merciful release from the last 20 minutes.

73 min: "John Terry can accept the trophy naked as far as I care. 100 goals, what has your team done, then?" asks Damien Neva. Apart from scoring 100 league goals in one season well over a century before Chelsea managed it, my team hasn't done much. Sunderland don't follow precedents, they set them.

75 min: Didier Drogba's just been booked for persistant fouling. At Old Trafford, Wayne Rooney's just been substituted, which means Drogba will definitely win the Golden Boot unless Darren Bent's banged in five or six for Sunderland against Wolves. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that hasn't happened.

77 min: Joe Cole helps a Florent Malouda cross from the left on its way to Didier Drogba at the far post, but the Ivorian miscontrols , possibly because there's a bit too much spin on the ball after Cole's intervention.

78 min: Please God let somebody have got a photo of that. The electrics in one of the linesmens' flags went on the blink, which meant a replacement had to be relayed across the pitch by assorted Chelsea players. John Terry carried it on the final leg of its journey, waving it for yuks as he approached the linesman. It quite suited him.

GOAL! Chelsea 7-0 Wigan Athletic (Drogba 79) Matic charges down the right, crosses to Joe Cole at the far post, who sends it back across the face of goal for Drogba to poke home from about six yards out. This is brutal. Drogba sprints over and starts strumming the corner flag like it was a guitar, while Florent Malouda stands behind him playing imaginary drums. It's probably fair to say that's the title wrapped up.

84 min: Wigan substitution: Victor Moses on, I have no idea who went off. It's difficult to keep up here, to be honest.

84 min: "I'd assumed a Chelsea player had the linesman's flag from the 1st minute, seeing a replay of their opening goal," writes Adam Walker.

85 min: Victor Moses brings a top-drawer save out of Petr Cech with a long-range surface-to-air screamer that the Chelsea goalkeeper is forced to tip over his own crossbar.

86 min: Chelsea leave three players on the halfway line for the ensuing corner, forcing Wigan to leave three of their nine available outfield players back marking them. That's just bullying, like kicking a blind man's stick.

89 min: Assorted Chelsea players Chelsea stroke the ball around as they await the final whistle which will confirm their status as champions.

GOAL! Chelsea 8-0 Wigan Athletic (A Cole 90) But there's still time for one more goal as Ashley Cole smashes home a 20 yard left-foot volley after getting on the end of a cross from his namesake Joe, who performed heroics to keep the ball in play down by the touchline adjacent to the right upright before providing the assist. That's a marvellous goal.

Full-time: It's all over - having scored seven goals three times this season, Chelsea mark the occasion of winning their fourth league title by going one better and scoring eight - that's an emphatic victory, to say the least. They win the 2009-10 Premier League title by one point from Manchester United, scoring 103 goals in the process - a fair old achievement by any standards.

Post-match niceties: As One Step Beyond by Madness blares out over the Tannoy, Stamford Bridge starts rocking in full-on party mode as a couple of lads on quad bikes tow the constiuent parts of a giant plywood Barclays advert out into the centre-circle on trailers. As difficult as it might seem to believe, some uncharacteristically exuberant Chelsea fans are singing, stamping their feet and waving their scarves.

The presentation As some remarkably ugly Chelsea fans spot themselves on the big screen and begin celebrating effusively, the Premier League trophy and a big tray of medals are brought on to the pitch by some men dressed in military uniforms. Unlike the man in military uniform who was accompanying BNP leader Nick Griffin as he campaigned before the General Election, I think these lads are actual soldiers.

Here we go: Assorted coaching staff, kitmen, tea ladies Nemanja Matic (he hasn't made enough appearances to win a medal) get their handshakes and take their bow, before the Chelsea senior squad, led by manager Carlo Ancelotti, emerge from the tunnel and receive their winners' medals. Didier Drogba tries to hog the limelight as much as possible by hanging back until third last, then ducking out of line to kiss the trophy on his way to the rostrum. Next up is vice-captain Frank Lampard, followed by captain John Terry, who is wearing a shirt. They grab a handle each and hoist the Premier League trophy skywards, prompting an explosion of ticker-tape and the usual champagne-spraying and pogoing behind the obliogatory Barclaycard hoarding.

Didier Drogba's determination to make this afternoon all about him shows no sign of letting up. He sprints across the field with jeroboam of champagne in hand and clambers/is dragged into the warm embrace of the crowd. After being fished out by Fun Police constables in official Chelsea fluorescent jackets, he stretches out in front of the Barclaycard hoarding, hogging the limelight while his team-mates jump up and down behind it. Anyway, that's another league season over, Chelsea are champions and Didier is the winner of the Golden Boot, so he has every right to be pleased with himself. That's all from me - enjoy what's left of your weekend ... unless you're reading this on Monday and it's already over.