Metta is often overlooked, stereotyped, or misinterpreted by people in the west these days. People not only do not understand what it is, but nor do they understand its purpose, why the Buddha taught it, and what it does to your every day life experiences.

Metta as taught by the Buddha is a method of developing equanimity in your mind. To lessen anger and hatred, greed and clinging. This leads us to having compassion for all living beings as we see that they are not so different from us. We also can appreciate the success of others through appreciative joy. These Four types of thought: Metta(Boundless Friendliness), Karuna(compassion, Mudita(appreciative joy) and Upekha(equanimity) together form what the Buddha called a “divine abode”. Meaning when you abide in these mind states it is like abiding in the highest heavens. In fact you can gain enlightenment from Metta practice.

This is the importance the Buddha put on Metta:

“If a monk cultivates metta for as long as a finger snap, that monk carries out the teaching of the Buddhas, let alone if the person were to make metta his practice”

We continuously repeat phrases of good will towards all living beings verbally and we think about how all living beings are similar to us. No we are not all “one” as some beliefs(even some types of Buddhism) espouse, but we are connected by by the fact that we all are born, grow sick, grow old, and die.

Here are a few examples of words used in Metta

“May all beings be well, happy, and peaceful”

“may all beings be free of mental suffering”

“may all beings be free of Physical suffering”

The good thing about this practice is that the words themselves don’t really matter, they are the bridge towards developing thoughts of boundless friendliness then eventually you feel it in your mind and your “heart”. This is the development of a positive habit in your life that brings much benefit.

We must also NEVER forget to include ourselves in metta for “all beings” as we are part of “all beings”. If we cannot accept ourselves, be our own best friends, be peaceful and non-harming to ourselves, how can we expect to do so for others?

As someone who has flown a whole heck of a lot in his life, I like to use the analogy of the safety briefing oxygen mask. The stewardess always says “ secure your own mask on yourself first before assisting other passengers”. There is a reason for this, as you can’t help others if you are passed out from lack of oxygen yourself. The Buddha spoke about an acrobat team who debated how best to proceed with their act, looking out for each other or each looking out for themselves. Buddha said that the latter is the best. When each person looks after themselves they look after others, when looking after others, they look after themselves, it’s a wonderful cycle.

I’ve come up with my own set of words that works for me, always starting with myself first then all beings!:

“May this mind and body find happiness”

“May this mind and body find peace”

“May this mind and body live in friendship with all beings”

“May this mind and body find release”

then:

“May all beings find happiness”

“May all beings find Peace”

“May all beings live in friendship with each other”

“May all beings find release(from suffering, ie enlightenment)

Not only does this rhyme, for me it covers everything pretty much, so its quick and easy.

Now don’t become confused and think that these words are meant to come true, or to magically effect the outside world in one way or another. This is not the case. Metta is a practical method of creating positive habitual thought processes that lead to peace and happiness.

I think this quote from my teacher Bhante G sums that up nicely.

"We must understand that there is no magic in metta. People still kill while we practice metta, people still kill animals and do torturous testing on them while we practice metta.

The true magic of metta is how it changes our own mind. Changing a hateful mind to a loving mind, a greedy mind to a generous mind. And when we develop metta in our mind, it not only benefits us but those around us as well.”

We practice Metta for our own mind, but you may just be surprised how much power one person has over the small world of people and places that surrounds them. When you practice metta, people, children, and animals understand this, they sense it, but they might not understand what it is. They do trust you though, and they understand intuitively that this is a good person who will not harm them.

How do I know this? I’ve seen it in my own life experiences. This past Metta retreat I was helping a young man to learn how to use a wood stove. As I was teaching him the steps he looked at me and said “ have you always been this smiling and happy or was it the practice?”. I thought about it for a second and said that while it’s true I have always had a somewhat positive outlook on life and have been somewhat generally happy, the practice has brought me to a peace and happiness I never knew existed previously.

Metta meditation as a part of my overall practice has brought me peace and an understanding of how all beings wish to be happy and peaceful, but some just do not understand how to do this without harming others in one way or another, whether they actively meant to harm or not.

When you begin to understand yourself, and others, you accept yourself and others for who they are, you don’t judge yourself or others, you don’t get as angry or agitated at people, places, or situations. You lessen your fear, because you understand that a person who practices metta has so much less to fear about. You feel a connection, a brother/sisterhood, with all beings in this way, and you develop patience and compassion for their situations.

You feel a friendship with all beings, even those who would rather kill you then look at you, because it’s not about them and their actions, their kamma, it’s about your mindset and your kamma, and your growing desire to live a life not harming any living beings, but helping them when and how you can.