Three years ago, my husband and I broke up after two decades of marriage.

Our path since has been so gentle that we have been the cause of confusion and gossip in our little Colorado mountain town. Both of our cars are often in the driveway, meals are frequently eaten together and logistics make it easier for us adults to switch houses rather than our children doing so.

Neighbors sometimes can’t tell the difference from before the split and after and need to be assured when they run into me at the post office: Yes, a breakup has indeed occurred.

By now, my response has become a well-rehearsed murmur: We like each other and always have. We are conflict-averse, quiet people. No one was at fault. The relationship (in my opinion, at least) had just run its natural course.

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I remind them that breakups have a new paradigm; they don’t have to be hostile and hate-filled. They can be mindful, respectful. Humanity has evolved.