Act 2 - The Party

R-Monstercat was the most kickass crackhouse--- I mean, party house, in the world.

It was Friday, so Volant was gonna premiere his track, Minty, there. Everyone was so excited.

Except Dan.

He could not rid of the giant pulsating beast that was his bone.

He was going to be the first to play.

He had a set ready to drop, with a shitton of chiptune.

There will be cameras recording the event.

Everyone will see his schlong.

All thanks to a bite from Retropixl.

Fuck.

Dan searched his apartment for any large clothing that would hopefully take his attention away from his weiner.

But then again, he didn’t want to look like goddamn Lady Gaga.

He searched everywhere.

The only thing that wouldn’t show his enlarged crotch would be some pan he found in the kitchen.

Fair enough.

He got a string and tied the handle around his neck so that the pan hung low.

This will do.

-

Flash forward to the party at R-Monstercat.

Evans, even though he managed QuantumMart, was also the owner of the club.

(Some say he smoked a shitton of weed when he bought the club, but no matter. Let us return to the story.)

Everyone was setting up and Volant was finishing mastering Minty in the closet in the back.

Dan arrived.

He wasn’t too excited about the party.

Everyone greeted him: Raider, Jake, the whole crew (except a few people snorting crack in the back).

He hastily shook their hands so he could get to the stage and set up.

He opened his laptop and loaded his files to his Launchpad.

He was ready.

Luckily, nobody had noticed his crotch-pan, which was good, he thought.

-

The lights turned off.

Everyone had been drinking, playing pool and having a kickass time.

Then the real party began.

Dan got up onto the stage and everyone cheered.

He tapped on his launchpad and played some synths.

The crowd clapped with the beat.

Dan was very pleased.

His rock hard thingamajig started to go soft on him.

Relieved, he kept playing.

He started jumping with the beat as the crowd did.

His set was amazing, and the crowd agreed.

Then it happened.

Retro came in at the last song.

Dan spotted him.

F.

U.

C.

K.

The now-soft crotch turned solid.

He was still bouncing.

Terrible goddamn mistake.

The pan, which was moving back and forth because of all the movement, slapped him.

Right in the schlong.

Fucking shit, that hurt.