Once upon a time, there was a woman named Stephenie. She had a dream about a vampire and a high school girl. The vampire sparkled. But that is neither here nor there.

95.86% of you have heard of the Twilight Saga. Most of you have formed an opinion of it before you came here.

I certainly did.

I hate vampires. I hate teenagers. I hate Mary Sues, emotionally abusive “romances,” and blatant overuse of adverbs. Above all, I hate Twilight.

But I’ve never read it.

This can’t be fair, many argue with me. How can you hate something when you haven’t even experienced it–sashimi fugu poisoning, Escherichia coli, and being covered in bees notwithstanding?

Yes, I just compared Twilight to getting E. coli.

At any rate, the challenge has been thrown down, and I can’t stand idly while my integrity comes into question. Not to mention that hating something, I mean really giving it all my vitriol, is but one of my many gleeful pasttimes. Maybe you should just read the recaps and see for yourself.

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