Since the initial tide of #MeToo and the endless backlash upon backlash, men have been uncharacteristically quiet. The movement promised a reckoning, of a gender acknowledging how the power dynamic they have benefited from – and propagated – has led to what amounts to a sexual assault epidemic. One which women have long known about, but only recently felt safe enough to discuss.

This reckoning has yet to materialise.

Yes, there have been specific people – those whose actions are deplorable by any standard – who have been loudly condemned. But in general, most men have yet to stand up en masse with a mea culpa, and become active allies rather than passive participants.

Italian actress Asia Argento made headlines with this point on stage at the Cannes Film Festival closing ceremony, condemning the festival’s past as a “hunting ground” – reminding the audience that they were standing where she alleged Harvey Weinstein raped her in 1997.

She pointed the finger at those “sitting among you, who still have to be held accountable for their conduct against women”. The community, she thundered, that “embraced him and covered up for his crimes”.

We’re not talking about people who commit rape or sexual assault here. We’re talking about people who did – and still do – nothing to prevent it. We’re also talking about people who don’t consider themselves complicit, which by definition means that they are, in the very fact of denying their role in a systemic problem, propped up by anyone not actively challenging it.

It seems that men have achieved an impressive level of Orwellian doublethink: believing (or professing to believe) all the women who say they have been assaulted, while simultaneously seemingly believing that neither they, nor any man they know, would be capable of doing such a thing.

I’m no mathematician, but if we accept that the vast majority of women have been victims of harassment, sexual assault or rape, almost overwhelmingly at the hands of men, then we must logically accept that this is not being perpetrated by a handful of prolific bad eggs.

Assault goes far beyond a dozen or so high-profile rapist predators. It could involve your friends, your brothers, your gym buddies. It could, actually, be you. It’s simple statistics.

Men have yet to accept this, because to do so would necessitate admitting culpability as well as complicity.

We’re also not just talking about rape and sexual assault. Those exist at the far end of a sliding scale – a scale of sexism, aggression and patriarchal domination. That scale starts with the most innocuous of behaviours: with sexist language, drunken aggressive come-ons, workplace bullying, cat-calling and objectification. With assertions of power, essentially. Microaggressions were not invented by white western “feminazis” in the absence of more serious problems: they are all part and parcel of a world that still sees half the population as inferior.

Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Show all 26 1 /26 Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Cate Blanchett Jury president Blanchett cut a dynamic silhouette at the 'Capharnaum' screening in this majestic jumpsuit. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Kristen Stewart If anyone can pull off the ultimate punk-rock androgyny on the Cannes red carpet, it's Stewart, who subverted sartorial norms in the French Riviera just days ago by taking her heels on the red carpet - she wore loafers this time. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Vanessa Paradis The French actress glittered in this floor-length metallic gown at the screening of 'Knife + Heart'. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Adriana Lima The 36-year-old Victoria's Secret Angel glided down the red carpet ahead of the 'Burning' screening wearing a strapless satin gown by Alberta Ferretti. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Amber Heard The American actress wore a Giambattista Valli Haute Couture gown to the screening of 'Girls Of The Sun (Les Filles Du Soleil)'. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Mila Jovovich The Kiev-born actress opted for a custom lilac gown by Prada for the 'Burning' screening. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Elsa Hosk Looking like the ultimate Disney princess, the Victoria's Secret angel wore a blush silk gown by Alberta Ferretti to the screening of 'Girls of the Sun'. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Barbara Palvin The Hungarian model struck an androgynous chord at the 'Burning' screening in this Alberta Ferretti suit-style gown, complete with majestic Messika jewellery. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Ming Xi The Chinese model opted for a blush spaghetti strap sequin gown by Russian label Rasario. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Cate Blanchett The Australian actress cut a slick silhouette at the screening of 'Girls of the Sun' in this flattering black gown. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Kendall Jenner The 22-year-old reality TV star donned a sheer gown by Schiaparelli for the screening of 'Girls of the Sun'. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Sara Sampaio The Victoria's Secret model opted for an off-the-shoulder nude gown by Zuhair Murad complete with rows of sparkling studs. Pictured at the screening of 'Girls of the Sun'. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Clemence Poesy At the 'Blackkklansman' screening, the French actress channeled a demure aesthetic in this satin black gown. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Izabel Goulart The Victoria's Secret model attended the screening of 'Sink or Swim' wearing Zuhair Murad. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Helen Mirren The 72-year-old actress radiated in this medieval inspired velvet gown made by Elie Saab. Pictured at the screening of 'Girls of the Sun'. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Hailey Baldwin The 21-year-old model donned an embellished gown by Roberto Cavalli, complete with decadent Chopard jewels. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Jasmine Tookes The model wore a scarlet strapless gown by Zac Posen to the screening of 'Girls of the Sun'. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Lea Seydoux The French actress wore a plunging Louis Vuitton mini dress to the premiere of 'Cold War' with Boucheron jewellery. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Donald Glover and Thandie Newton The US actor and musician posed alongside the 'Westworld' star, who wore Vivienne Westwood, at the 'Solo : A Star Wars Story' screening. AFP/Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Toni Garrn The German model radiated in a sparkling Roberto Cavalli gown at the screening of 'Solo: A Star Wars Story'. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Emilia Clarke The Game of Thrones actress attended the 'Solo: A Star Wars Story' screening in this deep violet ensemble by Dior. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Winnie Harlow The Canadian model cast a billowing train on the red carpet for the screening of 'Solo : A Star Wars Story' wearing Jean-Louis Sabaji Couture and Messika jewellery. AFP/Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Liu Wen The Chinese model brought a splash of sunshine to the red carpet in this canary yellow velvet gown by Bottega Veneta. Getty Images Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Jane Fonda The iconic actress opted for a shimmering silver gown by Valentino for the 'Blackkklansman' screening. Getty Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Kristen Stewart Prior to taking her high heels off, the Twilight actress posed for photographers wearing a space odyssey-inspired mini dress by Chanel at the 'Blackkklansman' screening. Getty Images for Kering Cannes 2018: Best-dressed on the red carpet Naomi Campbell The British supermodel turned heads at the screening of 'Blackkklansman' in a custom gown by Poiret. Getty Images

As far as I am aware, I do not know any men that have raped or sexually assaulted anyone. But I do know, and have often seen, men being cavalier with a woman’s consent, whether by being drunkenly, aggressively or simply physically threatening.

I know even more men who have seen this, known this to be true, and yet still done nothing.

To stand passively by while your friends make rape jokes, or grab strangers in a bar, or have sex with a completely intoxicated woman doesn’t make you personally culpable – but it does make you complicit.

Men: it is not enough to stand in solidarity with women, retweeting their #MeToo stories and condemning high-profile rapists. It’s not enough to not be a predator. It’s not enough to point the finger at them. You have to actively fight them with us.

Women alone cannot shoulder the burden of speaking out, sharing their pain for the world’s dissection and risking their own wellbeing and career to confront sexual assault. We may be powerful, but we’re only half the population – with far less than half the socioeconomic clout or political representation.

It’s hard enough for a sexually active feminist these days to navigate things like consent, sexuality without sexual objectification, risk evaluation and problematic role play.

Men complaining about their newfound nervousness when it comes to come-ons are adding to our burden, and failing to realise that it’s on all of us to consider the nuance of consent.

I’ve yet to see significant changes in male behaviour beyond increased sensitivity about rape scenes and off-colour jokes along the lines of: “You can’t be too careful where you put your hand these days.”

Men need to talk to their female friends and family, ask them questions and listen to their experiences. But crucially, they must also talk to their male friends. Call out their behaviour and question their own, even when it may seem innocuous – and to not just do so when there are women present, or the world is watching.