I *love* silicone dildos—from the best dual-density silicone to squishy-soft single-density silicone. After all, silicone dildos are the only body-safe sex toys that can feel soft (or very hard!). If you want a penis-like feel in your sex toy—or you want an abstract dildo that’s soft but not floppy—then a dual-density dildo is the way to go. (But be sure it’s dual-density silicone, because there are also dual layer dildos made from unsafe TPE and PVC.)

Finding my favorite silicone toys was a trial-and-error process, because silicone blends do vary so much. After lots of testing, I wrote this dildo firmness guide to help you figure out how soft or hard various brands of silicone dildos are—and hopefully, which might work best for you. I update this guide constantly with new silicone dildo releases: last update September 2019!

Skip ahead to the comparative “squish lists”: the Dual-Density Dildos section for the unique feel of a two-layer toy, or the Single-Density Dildos section for everything else. And if price is a big factor for you, also check out my list of places to find affordable silicone sex toys.

Squish Matters

Quality platinum-cured silicone is a beautiful material for sex toys because:

It’s functionally nonporous and hydrophobic, meaning that it naturally protects against bacterial growth (unlike less-safe materials including TPR/TPE, PVC, latex, “rubber,” and “jelly”). It can be fully sanitized—killing all bacteria and microorganisms—because it’s very chemically stable and resistant to high temperatures. That makes it safe to use for years at a time, and after sanitizing a toy, you can use it vaginally after having used it anally or use it with a different partner. It can be soft! Softer silicone toys include more dimethicone (polydimethylsiloxane, or PDMS)—basically, silicone oil. “Softness” might seem like a strange quality to be looking for in an artificial erection, but materials like stainless steel, wood, ceramic, and plastic have no hopes of feeling lifelike, ever—and toys made of these hard materials are often uncomfortable for the more sensitive toy user.

That’s why I believe every new dildo-buyer should know that silicone toys vary in so many ways: not just in size and shape, but in firmness.

Dildo hardness can be measured on a scale called shore durometer. Smooth-On, the leading US silicone manufacturer, has a helpful graphic on this page that compares three different shore durometer scales, two of which (00 and A) are used to grade sex toys:

00-20 through 00-50 is extremely soft. 00-20 is usually only for penis masturbation sleeves, 00-30 is very soft for dildos, and 00-50 is a popular squishy firmness for fantasy dildos.

1A to 8A range from squishy to still fairly soft.

10A is soft(ish) for sex toys; 15A is starting to get firmer. 20A is somewhat hard, especially when used on sensitive erogenous zones.

The graphic still labels 30A as soft too, but that’s soft for industrial use; 40A is “medium soft,” as per Smooth-On. But 40A doesn’t feel too much different from glass when it’s pounding you.

Knowing a toy’s shore strength can give you some idea of how it’ll feel inside you before you buy. But it’s not an absolute guarantee of how the toy will feel for your body, because (1) individual sensitivity differs, and (2) other factors can affect the final hardness of platinum-cured silicone—especially the size of the toy. (The larger a toy in the same silicone blend, the firmer it’ll feel overall.)

The Squish Lists

Dual-Density Dildos

Dual-density dildos create a more penis-like effect through their two layers of silicone: a soft outside hugging a firm core. All the best realistic dildos are two layered: That way, the toy can be yielding (more like flesh) but not bend backward when you’re really pounding it. The reigning monarch of dual-density dildos, the VixSkin Mustang has almost a cult following for its squishy G-spot/prostate goodness, while I think the most likelife overall is the BMS Naked Addition. And if you’re looking for comfort but not a realistic look, then consider the Blush Real Nude dils and the Tantus Flurry and Cush.

For BIG dildos (2″+ diameter), I recommend the VixSkin Maverick, Ranger, Outlaw, and Randy; or the Uberrime Large Splendid for more pressure.

For a petite toy, check out the VixSkin Spur especially.

See my YouTube videos for a live demo: pt. 1, firmer to pretty soft; and pt. 2, pretty soft to super squishy. From firmest to softest feel, here’s my updated list of dual density silicone dildos:

But do you want *the best*??? RealDoll’s RealCock 2 is my favorite inanimate object, my prize possession. The triple-density formula is truly luxury in dick-shaped form (full review here). I have Dirk, the largest of the 3 models; Jones is the most average-sized one. The RealCocks are unique in that their “Sil-Slide” technology allows the silicone to move and stretch a little more than all the dual-density dildos above. And the balls…OMG I’ve never been so attached to a pair of fake ones—they’re stunningly realistic, a turn-on by themselves. RealCocks now come in 3 flesh tones and all include a Vac hole to mount the (very large) base onto a Vac harness, a Vac suction cup, or a full male RealDoll; or stick a large bullet vibe (like Exposed Nocturnal) inside instead.

Single-Density Dildos

Single-density silicone is what it sounds like: one layer of silicone (all the same firmness) makes up the whole toy. Here’s a listing of the toy firmnesses I have accurate information about (from the manufacturers themselves and usually from personal experience):

First my personal favorite category: softer silicone dildos. Squish demo of the semi-soft to soft toys here, and of really soft options here. Bullet points run from SOFTEST to HARDEST in this section.

Soft Squishy Dildos

The softest (nonpenetrable) fantasy toys are made from the squashy 00-30 silicone. Mr. Hankey’s Toys will also do this density by special request: 30% Soft. These toys are the perfect example of squish! I would recommend this density most for THICK toys, or very textured ones, as the flexibility feels kinda flaccid to me, floppy, in toys below 2.5 inches diameter. If you’re very sensitive to texture or want to buy an extra-large toy that isn’t painful, this will be your best option.

All SquarePegToys fleshy realistics come in SuperSoft Bronze (Steve, Leo, & Nathan here), SuperSoft Graphite (Mel here), and Dirk (Chestnut here).

Still Soft, Not SOOOO Squishy

Medium-Soft Dildos

Next are dildos that I would classify as “medium firm,” between 10A and 19A shore. You can bend these middle-of-the-density-road dildos in half if you’re really trying, but they won’t yield much as a soft toy while you’re thrusting fast. See a flexibility demo of these here. From softest-medium to firmest-medium:

Other silicone toys that aren’t in this list (because I have no experience with them) are Pleasure Works’ single density (not Firm Core); Wet for Her; any of the various densities of Hole Punch “artisanal” toys; Doc Johnson’s Platinum Edition single-density (not Truskyn); and Fleshlight’s Fleshlight Freaks (though the latter may use the same silicone as the Fleshjack Boys and Fleshjack Guys).

Firm Dildos

The most firm dildos are not silicone: glass and stainless steel are extra-hard. Go with the Njoy Pure Wand for the most intense spot pressure (G-spot or prostate) around, known for inducing squirting.

Luzarte Polka Dot Jollet; Tantus Vibrating Vamp (grab bag version); Lovehoney 7 Inch Curved; Fun Factory Big Boss; and Fuze Harmony.

And as for silicone favorites: see a flexibility demo here, and keep reading for softest-firm to hardest-firm. Remember, the higher the number on the Shore (A) scale, the harder it feels!

Figuring Out What You Want

Not sure exactly what you’d like? The most affordable way to get a general idea of whether you like firm or soft is to check out one or two of the following silicone dildos under $30:

If you’re looking for a fantasy toy that can be custom-ordered in different densities, inexpensive options include: Strange Bedfellas’ size small toys; Damn Average’s smaller toys, which randomly appear in the Etsy shop in various firmnesses; and the small or mini sizes of many Exotic Erotics dildos go for $35–40 (without custom colors added).

Thanks for reading! I hope this guide helps you find a toy that’s just right for you. Feel free to email me at phallophilereviews@gmail.com for specific recommendations.

* * *

Notes