We would have also accepted...

1. This bread and wine turns into a baseball when you eat it.

2. The baseball is actually 3 baseballs, all different but all 1 and the same.

3. This baseball died for your sins.

4. This baseball wants you to give me lots of money.

5. If I touch you with this baseball you won't have cancer anymore... also give me lots of money... just in case.

6. If you don't believe I have a baseball you will go to hell, but the baseball still loves you.

7. If you believe anybody else has a baseball just like mine you are definitely going to hell.

8. If you deny the holy spirit part of my baseball you can NEVER be forgiven and are SUPER DEFINITELY going to hell.

9. This baseball doesn't want you to tell the police what the priest did to you.

10. The baseball hates fags.

11. The baseball hates liberals.