Here are lists of Captain Haddock's name-calling insults per Tintin book. Each name is listed in the order it was said. It also says who Captain is saying it to. Not all of the Tintin books are here, but more and more are being added all the time until there's all the Captain insults from all the Tintin books.

Here is the first book, The Crab with the Golden Claws, the book where Captain Haddock first came into Tintin's world.

1. [to Tintin] 'Miserable wipper-snapper'

2. [to Tintin] ‘Meddlesome cabin-boy’

3. [about himself] Miserable

4. [about himself] Wretch

5. [to seaplane shooting at them] Beasts

6. [to seaplane] Swine

7. [to seaplane] Cowards

8. [to the two crooks form the plane] Gangsters

9. [to Tintin] ‘Pig-headed’

10. [to Tintin] Crazy

11. [about Tintin] Confounded

12. [to Arab raiders] Scoundrels

13. [to Arab raiders] Jellyfish

14. [to Arab raiders] Tramps

15. [to Arab raiders] Troglodytes

16. [to Arab raiders] ‘Toffee-noses’

17. [to Arab raiders] Savages

18. [to Arab raiders] Aztecs

19. [to Arab raiders] Toads

20. [to Arab raiders] 'Carpet-sellers’

21. [to Arab raiders] Iconoclasts

22. [to Arab raiders] Rats

23. [to Arab raiders] Ectoplasms

24. [to Arab raiders] ‘Freshwater swabs’

25. [to Arab raiders] ‘Bashi-bazouks’

26. [to Arab raiders] Cannibals

27. [to Arab raiders] Caterpillars

28. [to Arab raiders] Baboons

29. [to Arab raiders] Parasites

30. [to Arab raiders] Pockmarks

31. [about one of them] Pirate

32. [about a nonexistent pick-pocket] Robbers

33. [to police] Disgraceful

34. [to the whole city] Pick-pockets

35. [to Allan and a crook] Bandits

36. [to Allan and a crook] Brutes

37. [to a crook who took his wine bottle] Bully

38. [to that crook] Treason

39. [to that crook] Twister

40. [to that crook] Heretic

41. [to that crook] ‘Slave-trader’

42. [to that crook] Technocrat

43. [to that crook] Buccaneer

44. [to that crook] Vegetarian

45. [to that crook] Politician

46. [to that crook] Corsair

47. [to Allan] Harlequin

48. [to Allan] Hydrocarbon

49. [to Allan] Aborigine

50. [to Allan] Polynesian

51. [to Allan] Gyroscope

52. [to a crook] Blackamoor

53. [to a crook] Anthracite

54. [to a crook] Coconut

55. [to a crook] ‘Fuzzy-wuzzy’

56. [to a crook] Anthropithecus

57. [to a crook] ‘Black bird’

58. [to a crook] Nincompoop

59. [to a crook] Anacoluthon

60. [to a crook] Invertebrate

61. [to a crook] Liquorice

The Shooting Star

Now here is all of Captain’s insults in this book. (This one tells who he's addressing to.)

1. [to whoever tried to blow their ship up] Pyromaniac

2. [to Professor Phostle] Gangster

3. [to Professor Phostle] Rat

4. [to Professor Phostle] Dynamiter

5. [to Professor Phostle] Shipwrecker

6. [to Professor Phostle] Centipede

7. [to the ship that tried to sabotage their’s] Pirates

8. [to that same ship] Shipwreckers

9. [to that same ship] Sea-lice

10. [to that same ship] Filibusters

12. [to that same ship] Road-hogs

13. [to that same ship] ‘Freshwater swabs’

14. [to that same ship] Lunatic

15. [to the lairs at Golden Oil] Pirates

16. [to the Golden Oil people] ‘Gang of thieves’

17. [to the Golden Oil people] ‘Black marketeers’

18. [to the Golden Oil people] Monopolizers

19. [to the Golden Oil people] Turncoats

20. [to the Golden Oil people] Ophicleides

21. [to the Golden Oil people] Colocynths

22. [to the Golden Oil people] Crooks

23. [to the Golden Oil people] Twisters

24. [to the Golden Oil people] Caterpillars

25. [to Snowy] ‘Dratted animal’

26. [to Snowy] Pirate

27. [to the “Peary” expedition] ‘Patagonian pirates’

28. [to the “Peary” expedition] ‘Lily-livered landlubbers’

29. [to sponsors of the “Peary” expedition] Pirates

30. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Gangsters

31. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Twisters

32. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Traitors

33. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Woodlice

34. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Turncoats

35. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Shipwreckers

36. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Mountebanks

37. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Moujiks

38. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Rhizopods

39. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Ectoplasms

40. [to fake John Kingsby Company] Pirate

Red Rackham's Treasure

1. [to Red Rackham’s “descendants”] ‘Freshwater pirates’

2. [to Red Rackham’s “descendants”] ‘Fancy dress freebooters’

3. [about Rackham’s “descendants”] ‘Gang of theives’

4. [to Professor Calculus] Bashi-bazouk

5. [to Calculus] ‘Bragging nitwit’

6. [about person who took his whisky] Crook

7. [about person who took all whisky] Monster

8. [to Calculus] Wretch

9. [to Calculus] Wretch

10. [to Calculus] Ignoramus

11. [to Calculus] ‘Abominable Snowman’

12. [to mysterious voice] Pockmark

13. [to mysterious voice] ‘Gibbering ghost’

14. [to the voice] Polynesian

15. [to the voice] Cannibal

16. [to the voice] Iconoclast

17. [to parrots (they were the voice)] Iconoclasts

18. [to the parrots] Bandits

19. [to monkeys] Baboons

20. [to monkeys] Monkeys (LOL)

21. [to monkeys] Gibbons

22. [to monkeys] Orang-outangs

23. [to monkeys] Cercopithecuses

24. [to sharks] Brutes

25. [to the Thompsons] ‘Impersonations of Abominable Snowmen’

26. [about Thompsons] Jelly-fishes

27. [to Thompsons] Sea-gherkins

28. [to Thompsons] ‘Freshwater swabs’

29. [to Thomosons] Ectoplasms

30. [to Thompsons] Bashi-bazouks

31. [to Thompsons] Nitwits

32. [to Thomson] Nincompoop

33. [to Calculus] ‘Certified ignoramus’

34. [to Calculus] ‘Olympic athlete’

The Seven Crystal Balls

1. [about Alcazar] ‘Second-rate son of a sword-swallower’

2. [about Calculus] ‘Old goat’

3. [to people shooting at him] Cannibals

4. [to people shooting at him] Caterpillars

5. [to people shooting at him] Troglodytes

6. [to people shooting at him] Tramps

7. [to people shooting at him] Ectoplasms

8. [to people shooting at him] Sea-gherkins

9. [to crooks getting away] ‘Tribe of savages’

10. [to crooks getting away] Vampires

11. [to crooks getting away] Monsters

12. [about the crooks] Rats

13. [about Calculus’s kidnappers] ‘Band of thugs’

14. [about Calculus’s kidnappers] Rattlesnakes

15. [about the kidnappers] Pirates

16. [about the kidnappers] Bashi-bazouks

17. [to police officer] Loon

18. [about the kidnappers] Iconoclasts

19. [about the kidnappers] Vampires

20. [to car that splashed him] Gangsters

21. [to that car] Road-hogs

22. [to that car] Mountebanks

23. [to that car] Steamrollers

24. [to that car] Nyctalops

25. [to the car] Parasites

26. [to the car] Sea-gherkins

27. [to the car] Pock-marks

28. [to the car] Cannibals

29. [to cargo movers] Numbskulls

30. [to cargo movers] Hi-jackers

31. [to cargo movers] Kleptomaniacs

32. [to cargo movers] Body-snatchers

33. [to two kids] Vagabonds

34. [to two kids] Hooligans

35. [to two kids] Iconoclasts

36. [about the two kids] Jackanapes

37. [about the two kids] Pirates

38. [about Calculus’s kidnappers] Gangsters

Prisoners of the Sun

1. [to llama] ‘Ungrateful brute’

2. [to the Thompsons] Nitwits

3. [to Thomson] Landlubber

4. [to Tintin] Studid

5. [to the bad guys] Guanogatherers

6. [to bad guys] Iconoclasts

7. [to bad guys] Pirates

8. [to Snowy] Sealion

9. [to the Thompsons] Baboons

10. [to the bad guys (who kidnapped Calculus)] Gangsters

11. [to South Americans] Centipedes

12. [to llamas] Fire-pumps

13. [to llamas] ‘Moth-eaten imitation camels’

14. [to llama] ‘Misarable iconoclast’

15. [to a lizard] ‘Misarable reptile’

16. [to the kidnappers] Gangsters

17. [to the kidnappers] Bandits

18. [to the kidnappers] Filibusters

19. [to the kidnappers] Pirates

20. [to llamas] Raggle-taggle

21. [to llamas] Ruminants

22. [to llamas] ‘Cushion-footed’

23. [to llamas] Quadrupeds

24. [to llamas] Morons

25. [to bad guys] Filibusters

26. [to bad guys] Weevils

27. [to bad guys] Slubberdegullions

28. [to bad guys] Patagonians

29. [to bad guys] Bashi-bazouks

30. [to bad guys] Carpet-sellers

31. [to bad guys] Kleptomaniacs

32. [to monkeys] 'Pithecanthropic mountebanks'

33. [to mosquitoes] Beastly

34. [to alligators] 'Loathsome brutes'

35. [to attacking Incas] Anachronisms

36. [to Incas] Tramps

37. [to Incas] Zapotecs

38. [to Incas] Pockmarks

39. [to Incas] Pithecanthropuses

40. [to Incas] Bashi-bazouks

41. [to Incas] Savages

42. [to Incas] Sea-gherkins

43. [to Incas] Ectoplasms

44. [to Incas] Poltroons

45. [to Incas] Politicians

46. [to Incas] Doryphores

47. [to Incas] Terrorists

48. [to Noble Prince of the Sun] 'Tin-hatted tryant'

49. [to Incas] Savages

Land of Black Gold

Here are all Captain's insults from this book.

1. [to Muller (bad guy)] Beast

2. [to Muller] Baby-snatcher

3. [to Muller] Brigand

4. [to Muller] Baboon

5. [to Muller] Belemnite

6. [to Muller] Bully

7. [to Muller] Bougainvillea

8. [to Muller] Bashi-bazouk

9. [to Abdullah] Sea-gherkin

10. [to Abdullah] 'Duck-billed platypus'

11. [to Abdullah] 'Arabian Nightmare'

12. [to Muller] 'Cunning swine'

13. [to Professor Calculus] 'Nitwitted ninepin'

Explorers on the Moon

Here are all Captain’s insults from this book.

1. [to the Thompsons] Brontosaurus

2. [to himself] ‘Miserable wretch’

3. [to the Thompsons] Jelly-fishes

4. [to the Thompsons] Bashi-bazouks

5. [to Tintin] Donkey

6. [to whoever tried to leave without them] Nincompoop

7. [to Colonel Boris; Jorgen] Bashi-bazouk

8. [to Wolff and Jorgen] ‘Unfeeling monsters’

9. [to Wolff and Jorgen] Vivisectionists

10. [to Wolff and Jorgen] Torturers

11. [to Wolff and Jorgen] Cannibals

12. [to the Thompsons] Anacoluthons

13. [to Wolff] ‘Two-face traitor’

14. [to Jorgen] Pithecanthropus

15. [to Jorgen] Bashi-bazouk

16. [to Jorgen] Black-beetle

17. [to Wolff] Interplanetary-pirate

18. [to Wolff] Fresh-water-spaceman

19. [to Wolff] Snake

20. [to Thomson] ‘Nitwitted ninepin’

21. [to Wolff] Gangster

22. [to Wolff] Brute

23. [to Wolff] Cannibal

24. [to Thomson] Iconoclast

25. [to Thompson] Ectoplasms

26. [to Calculus] ‘Interplanetary goat’

The Calculus Affair

Even more of Captain's insults from this book.

1. [to the Thompsons] Road-hog

2. [to the Thompsons] Steam-roller

3. [to the Thompsons] Bully

4. [to the Thompsons] Dipsomaniac

5. [to crowd] Rubber-necks

6. [to Stefan, a crook] ‘Clumsy oaf’

7. [to Stefan] ‘Ectoplasmic byproduct’

8. [to Stefan] ‘Balkan beetle’

9. [to Stefan and the other crook] Brutes

10. [to Stefan and the other crook] Filibusters

11. [to Stefan and the other crook] Nitwits

12. [to Stefan and the other crook] Steam-rollers

13. [to Stefan and the other crook] Abecedarians

14. [to people in car passing by] ‘Fat-headed fire-raisers’

15. [to people in car passing by] ‘Nit-witted ninepins’

16. [to people in car passing by] Bashi-bazouks

17. [to people in car passing by] ‘Certified Diplodocuses’

18. [to Syldavian crooks] Brutes

19. [to Syldavian crooks] Gangsters

20. [to Syldavian crooks] Anacoluthons

21. [to Syldavian crooks] Bashi-bazouks

22. [to mosquito] Monster

23. [to Syldavian crooks] Gangsters

24. [to Jolyon Wagg] Ectoplasm

25. [to Jolyon Wagg] ‘Prize Purple jellyfish’

26. [to car that wouldn’t stop for them] Blackguards

27. [to that car] Egoists

28. [to that car] Nitwits

29. [to that car] Troglodytes

30. [to that car] Polygraphs

31. [to another car that wouldn’t stop for them] Beasts

32. [to that car^] Autocrats

33. [to that car^] Profiteers

34. [to that car] Fat faces

35. [to that car] Tramps

36. [to all car drivers] ‘Infernal mileage-merchants’

37. [to Arturo Benedetto Giovanni Guiseppe...ect., ect.] Bandit

38. [to Arturo] Anthropophagus

39. [to Arturo] Steam-roller

40. [to Arturo] Highwayman

41. [to Arturo] ‘Misquided missile’

42. [to Arturo] Bashi-bazouk

43. [to Arturo] Ectoplasm

44. [to Stefan and the other crook] ‘Carpathian Bashi-bazouks’

45. [to Stefan and the other crook] ‘Two-timing Tartar twisters’

46. [to bad guys] Gangsters

47. [to Colonel Sponsz] ‘Bareface liar’

48. [to Professor Calculus] ‘Flaming jack-in-a-box’



The Red Sea Sharks

1. [to General Alcazar] ‘Misguided missile’

2. [to the one who pulled a prank] ‘Son of a sea-gherkin’

3. [to Abdullah] Ruffian

4. [to Abdullah] Brat

5. [to Abdullah] Pest

6. [to Abdullah] Rapscallion

7. [to Professor Calculus] Goat

8. [to Professor Calculus] ‘Nitwitted numskull’

9. [to Professor Calculus] ‘Acting the goat’ (!!!)

10. [to Abdullah] Pest

11. [to airport people] Bashi-bazouks

12. [to muslim lady] ‘Fancy-dress Fatima’

13. [to Mostquito pilots] Bandits

14. [to Mostquito pilots] Pirates

15. [to Mostquito pilots] Gangsters

16. [to Skut] ‘Trigger-happy thug’

17. [to Skut] Ectoplasm

18. [to Scheherazade crew] Landlubbers

19. [to crooks aboard the Ramona] ‘Lubberly scum’

20. [to crook] ‘Insolent porcupine’

21. [to crooks] ‘Ill-mannered savages’

22. [to crooks] Rats

23. [to crooks] Wreckers

23. [to crooks] Pirates

24. [to crooks] Filibusters

25. [to crooks] Picaroons

26. [to the Africans attacking him] Troglodytes

27. [to the Africans] Sea-gherkins

28. [to the Africans] ‘Pickled herrings’

29. [to the Africans] Visigoths

30. [to the Africans] Anacluthons

31. [to the Africans] ‘Addle-pated lumps of anthracite’

32. [to Arab slave buyer] Brute

33. [to Arab slave buyer] Trafficker

34. [to Arab slave buyer] Cut-throat

35. [to Arab slave buyer] Filibuster

36. [to Arab slave buyer] Baboon

37. [to Arab slave buyer] Carpet-seller

38. [to Arab slave buyer] Paranoiac

39. [to Arab slave buyer] Pockmark

40. [to Arab slave buyer] Cannibal

41. [to Arab slave buyer] Duck-billed platypus

42. [to Arab slave buyer] Jellied-eel

43. [to Arab slave buyer] Bashi-Bazouk

44. [to Arab slave buyer] Anthropophagus

45. [to Arab slave buyer] Cercopithecus

46. [to Arab slave buyer] Psychopath

47. [to Arab slave buyer] Pirate

48. [to Arab slave buyer] Ectoplasm

49. [to Arab slave buyer] Coelacanth

50. [to Arab slave buyer] Vulture

51. [to Arab slave buyer] Body-snatcher

52. [to Arab slave buyer] Vandal

53. [to Allan] Gangster

54. [to slave dealers] Pirates

55. [to the Africans] Boneheads

56. [to the Africans] ‘Dunderheaded coconuts’

57. [to plane] Stool-pigeon

Captain sure yelled out a lot of names to that Arab slave buyer. 32-52 is all to that guy - thats 21 names! Is this the most names he’s called one person?

Tintin in Tibet

1. [to a man carring fruit] Milk-maid

2. [to a guy he bumped into] Bashi-bazouks

3. [to Tintin] Whippersnapper

4. [to their porters] ‘Musical Morons’

5. [about their porterd] Bashi-bazouks

6. [to Yeti (Big Foot)] Cro-Magnon

7. [to Yeti] Mameluke

8. [to Yeti] Vampire

9. [to Yeti] Dipsomaniac

10.[to Yeti] Body-snatcher

11. [to Yeti] ‘Odd-toed ungulate’

12. [to Yeti] ‘Macrocephalic baboon’

13. [to Yeti] Phylloxera

14. [to Yeti] Cannibal

15. [to Yeti] Diplodocus

16. [to Yeti] Filibuster

17. [to Yeti] Megalomaniac

18. [to Yeti] ‘Old alcoholic’

19. [to Yeti] Colocynth

20. [to Yeti] Troglodyte

21. [to Yeti] Pithecanthropus

22. [to Yeti] Kleptomaniac

23. [to Yeti] Ectoplasm

24. [to porters] Poltroons

25. [about porters] ‘Lily-livered bandicoots’

26. [about Yeti] ‘Drunken old ape’

27. [about Yeti] ‘Flat-footed grizzly bear’

28. [to Yeti] ‘Big-head’

29. [about Yeti] ‘Pithecanthropic pickpocket’

30. [about Yeti] Scarecrow

31. [to himself] ‘Clumsy fool’

32. [about Yeti] Jackass

33. [about “Blessed Lightning’] ‘Flying saucer’

34. [about village children] Scamps

35. [about a boy] Monkey

36. [about Yeti] Teddy-bear

37. [about Yeti] ‘Confounded migou’

38. [to Yeti] ‘Antediluvian bulldozer’

39. [to Yeti] Jobbernowl

40. [to Yeti] Megacycle

41. [to Yeti] Pyromaniac

Wow, Captain’s already beaten his old number of insults -- 21 -- that was to the Arab slave buyer in the last book. Now his record is 30 insults to the Yeti! Is this his record for most insults to one person? I think so!

Castafiore Emerald

1. [about some gipsies] Guttersnipes

2. [to a little girl gipsy] Spitfire

3. [about the girl gipsy] Wildcat

4. [about a builder] ‘Sluggard of a builder’

5. [about a builder] ‘Boneidle builder’

6. [to Iago, his new parrot] Cannibal

7. [to parrot] Bashi-bazouk

8. [to parrot] Vampire

9. [to parrot] ‘Pestilential parakeet’

10. [to parrot] ‘Cachinnatin cockatoo’

11. [to a lady] Nanny-goat

12. [about men spying on them] Ectoplasms

13. [about men spying on them] Scoundrels

14. [about Jolyon Wagg] Gas-bag

15. [about Jolyon] Idiot

16. [about ‘Paris Flash’ reporters] ‘Miserable molecule of mildew’

17. [about the Thompsons] ‘Nitwitted ninepins’

18. [about the Thompsons] Ostrogoths

19. [to the Thompsons] ‘Dunder-headed Ethelreds’

Flight 714

1. [to Professor Calculus] ‘Acting the goat’

2. [to Mr. Carreidas] Fraud

3. [to Allan] ‘Son of a sea-gherkin’

4. [to the crooks] Tramps

5. [to the crooks] Terrapins

6. [to the crooks] ‘Two-timing troglodytes’

7. [to Allan] Pockmark

8. [to Allan] Scorpion

9. [to Allan] Baboon

10. [to Allan] Orangoutang

11. [to Allan] Bandit

12. [to Allan] Bootlegger

13. [to Allan] Bashi-bazouk

14. [to Allan] Breathalyser

15. [to Allan] Brigand

16. [about crooks] Butchers

17. [about Rastapopoulos] Monster

18. [to Allan] Bandit

19. [to bats] Beastly

20. [about bats] Vampires

21. [to Skut (not ment as an insult)] Pirate

22. [about Mr. Carreidas] Ectoplasm

23. [about Mr. Carreidas] ‘Purple profitering jellyfish’

_______________________________________________

Have you noticed that in this book Captain lost his beloved hat? The hat that he had to catch when it fell even though it almost caused him to fall from the rope he was holding on to and into the river. The hat that he had to go back for when if fell from his head even though him and Tintin were in a hurry to catch a plane. He obviously must have taken it off in Mr. Carreidas’ plane and forgotten it (in the confusion of it being hijacked) and that was the last we saw of it. He must of then bought a new one just like it in time for his next adventure in Tintin and the Picaros.

Tintin and the Picaros

1. [about Jolyon Wagg] Weecil

2. [to General Tapioca] Pachyrhizus

3. [to General Tapioca] Guano-gatherer

4. [about General Tapioca] ‘Dictatorial duck-billed diplodocus’

5. [about General Tapioca] ‘Puffed-up Punchinello’

6. [to Tintin] ‘Mister Mule’

7. [about General Tapioca and others] Zapotecs

8. [to window that won’t open] Stupid

9. [to that window] Stubborn

10. [about crooks] Pirates

11. [to Professor Calculus] Cannibal

12. [to Professor Calculus] ‘Miserable blundering barbecued blister’

13. [to Pablo] ‘Subtropical sea-louse’

hat's all the books there is for now, only two are missing, but they'll be here soon, so check back soon for them!

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