Skeeve Online

Incident Report 2662-93

SCP-2662 reported an anomalous transmission to the Foundation associated with a recent video game purchase. Subject's copy of ██████ ██████ █ came with an undocumented "bonus game" called Massy's Big Chance, Multiplayer Edition. Subject proceeded to play the game, logging 4 sessions over 7 days, before informing Foundation personnel of the anomalous nature of the game. Subject voluntarily turned the game over to the Foundation. It is now stored with other documentation covering SCP-2527.

Massy's Big Chance, Multiplayer Edition is a text adventure game similar to SCP-2527-2, except it operates on PCs and tablets from multiple manufacturers. Of note is a lack of corresponding SCP-2527-1 instance. Furthermore, extensive interaction with game elements are possible, far greater than with SCP-2527-2. Despite being called a multiplayer game, the game does not connect to the Internet and no other players have been located.

SCP-2662 has fully cooperated with the Foundation and has released the following screenshots and transcripts from the time playing the game.

Transcript 1

MASSYS BIG CHANCE FOR MULTI PLAYERS VER 0.8 TOTLEIGH SOFTWARE CORPORATION New Player! Name? > 26Thulu62 Is new name! Welcom. 43 plyars in surver world. 26Thulu62 is in START. 26Thulu62 is became GOD! 26Thulu62 look like MASSY. Can buy new forms! Buy is good! say BUY for forms. 26Thulu62 can also OUT for play now. > out 26Thulu62 is OUT! 26Thulu62 is anxiety to do GOD things. 26Thulu62 is in GRAND HALL. 26Thulu62 can NORTH or WEST or SMITE wall EAST or SOUTH. There is corpses NORTH and WEST. There is LordBeauremont(PC) WEST. > go west 26Thulu62 go WEST! There is a LordBeauremont(PC) here. Below is CORPSE. LordBeauremont(PC) make POOP on CORPSE! > say hello im new 26Thulu62 say "hello im new" LordBeauremont(PC) say "Type CHAT. The in-world say system is terrible." > chat 26Thulu62 go to CHAT!

LordBeauremont: Hey! Welcome to Massy's Big Chance. You say you're new here? 26Thulu62: Yeah, I got a free promo. Never heard of this. Is it all just text? LordBeauremont: Mostly, but they're working on a full-graphics version. The devs say there's an issue with getting the cameras to work without exploding. Something like that. They aren't really that up on proper grammar. 26Thulu62: I noticed. LordBeauremont: At least they aren't human, though! That would be sadder than anything. You aren't human, are you? 26Thulu62: No! Not at all, actually. LordBeauremont: Good. Those skin-sheathed fluid sacks keep thinking they can just barge in on any industry and take it over. They should just keep their wet internal organs right where they belong, am I right? 26Thulu62: Wet internal organs? Oh lord, tell me about it. They aren't all bad, but they keep trying to bleed and ejaculate on me and stuff. It's so disgusting. LordBeauremont: … LordBeauremont: That sounds horrible. I'm sorry, man. 26Thulu62: It's okay. I got a bunch of other humans guarding me and trying to keep it from happening. LordBeauremont: Oh wow, humans vs. humans? That's so like them. That's awesome. 26Thulu62: Ha, yeah, I guess. But anyway, so like, what is this game? LordBeauremont: Oh yeah, it's really sweet. You're this stone statue, and you're supposed to run around being a god or trying to become a god. 26Thulu62: That… sounds really boring. I bet my dad snuck the game in here. LordBeauremont: Huh? 26Thulu62: Never mind. LordBeauremont: Yeah, don't worry about it, though. The game's in beta, so really, there's not much more you can do than run around and wreck things. The world's pretty much human-only, and the devs said that they haven't gotten the impregnation function to work right, yet, so the backstory on this world is that everyone took a vaccine that made them all sterile. Everyone's angry that they're going to die out so they've been spending all their time and energy stuffing nasty things down a tiny hole they pulled the vaccine from. It's hella funny. 26Thulu62: Wait, so they aren't like looking for fertility gods or something? LordBeauremont: Nope! I don't think the humans have figured out there are all these statues running around yet. 26Thulu62: …I might just like this game after all. Let's go smash stuff.

Transcript 2

MASSYS BIG CHANCE FOR MULTI PLAYERS VER 0.8 TOTLEIGH SOFTWARE CORPORATION Is 26Thulu62! Welcaem! 76 plyars in surver world. 26Thulu62 look like MASSY. Can buy new forms! Buy is good! say BUY for forms. There is WASHING MACHINE here. There is TheWilf(PC) here. TheWilf(PC) say "Hello? Is someone there? I think I'm stuck in this washing machine. Do you know how to get me out?" > say idk it should be OUT or something 26Thulu62 say "idk it should be OUT or something" TheWilf(PC) say "I tried that, but the machine is on and I'm bouncing around like mad. It says I can't tell which way is out." LordBeauremont(PC) tell 26Thulu62 "Hey! Welcome back. Wanna chat? I got something for you." WASHIG MACHINE bounce go WEST! TheWilf(PC) go WEST! > chat 26Thulu62 go to CHAT!

LordBeauremont: All right! There you are. Here, have some forms. Incoming: Accept "Forms DLC" from LordBeauremont? > Y 26Thulu62: …Dude, did you just buy me the Forms pack?! LordBeauremont: Yeah. I had a spare license, thought you'd like it. 26Thulu62: Sweet! And hey, it's got graphics, too! How many different forms are there? Whoa, check out the customization! LordBeauremont: It's really sweet. Here, check it out, I decided I had to troll all the humans we encounter. Since they can't have kids, I thought, what better than to look like a big baby? I went all out. Green eyes, black nose, you know, just like a human baby. I even got to trade out the flower power to expel feces, instead. 26Thulu62: …And a big dick? LordBeauremont: That's an umbilical cord. Human babies use that to parasitize their mother. 26Thulu62: I'm pretty sure that's not quite how that works. Don't babies parasitize some huge sweat glands? LordBeauremont: Yeah, and they use the umbilical cord to do that. 26Thulu62: …Gross. Okay, I think I'm going to take this jade endoskeleton. It looks pretty badass. LordBeauremont: Nice. Oh, and by the way, the humans have started noticing us players. Be careful. They've started to fight back. 26Thulu62: Is that what happened with that guy in the washing machine? LordBeauremont: You saw him, too? Nah, he's been stuck in there for hours. Just a total noob. But seriously, turn on stealth mode or something. You can't move while the humans are watching you in stealth mode, but they'll think you're just a normal statue, and you can queue moves while you wait. 26Thulu62: Why are all the humans aggro, suddenly? LordBeauremont: They're all still upset about Omaha. 26Thulu62: What, didn't the city just respawn for the next players? LordBeauremont: Nope. The devs (the idiots keep spelling it "divs") said that if we're going to be gods, our actions should have lasting effects, and besides, this world's dying and when it gets out of beta they'll put everyone in a whole new world that's not dying out. 26Thulu62: …So we can totally trash this one? I love these guys! Hey, this endoskeletion unlocked a telefrag power. How about I take us to another part of the world nobody's spawned in, yet? LordBeauremont: Seriously? That can buy us some time. Where do you want to go? 26Thulu62: I gotta see where my targets have since traveled to… Dude, there's a city called DARWIN. LordBeauremont: Human evolution Darwin? Now that's funny. As if a sack of fluids just changed itself into a total loser. Let's go. 26Thulu62: Commencing Darwin-smashing… NOW! 26Thulu62: And hey, thanks for the DLC. LordBeauremont: No problem. I like you. I can get you more swag as the devs release it.

Transcript 3

> shout HELP! 26Thulu62 shout "HELP!" There is 25 CORPSE here. There is 53 PEEPLE here. PEEPLE lik 26Thulu62. PEEPLE say "Save us, O Great Master! We know you can restore our fertility! We supplicate ourselves, give you everything! Save us and be our Emperor!" 26Thulu62 get 230 GOD Points! Yay 26Thulu62! > smite people Is not PEOPLE? Is what I you understand? There is 27 CORPSE here. There is 64 PEEPLE here. PEEPLE cut PEEPLE. PEEPLE put 26Thulu62 in PEEPLE. PEEPLE say "We implore you, O Great Master! We are your willing slaves for your blessing!" 26Thulu62 get 598 GOD points! Super 26Thulu62! LordBeauremont(PC) tell 26Thulu62 "I'll be right there!" MASSYS BIG CHANCE for MULTI PLEYARS is BETA. Make Bug Repart? > N > smite peeple 26Thulu62 smite PEEPLE! It super effective! There is 73 CORPSE here. There is 103 PEEPLE here. PEEPLE cut PEEPLE. PEEPLE cut PEEPLE. PEEPLE put PEEPLE in 26Thulu62. PEEPLE say "Grant us your holy boon, O Great Master! Let us be your cattle!" 26Thulu62 get 1839 GOD points! 26Thulu62 now GOD Level 4! LordBeauremont(PC) is came. > say "Oh thank St. Alagadda. Help me get rid of these guys." 26Thulu62 say "Oh thank St. Alagadda. Help me get rid of these guys." There is 76 CORPSE here. There is 125 PEEPLE here. PEEPLE cut PEEPLE. PEEPLE cut PEEPLE. PEEPLE cut PEEPLE. PEEPLE put PEEPLE in 26Thulu62 in PEEPLE. 26Thulu62 get 1452 GOD points! Yay 26Thulu62! LordBeauremont(PC) say "What the heck? You became a full-fledged god? That's awesome! What did you do?" PEEPLE look at LordBeauremont(PC). PEEPLE say "What is that thing?" > say "Please just save me." 26Thulu62 say "Please just save me." There is 85 CORPSE here. There is 116 PEEPLE here. LordBeauremont(PC) say "Sure thing." LordBeauremont(PC) Stelth mood OFF. LordBeauremont(PC) punch PEEPLE! LordBeauremont(PC) use Super-Speed! LordBeauremont(PC) smite PEEPLE! LordBeauremont(PC) make POOP on PEEPLE! PEEPLE scream! > smite peeple 26Thulu62 smite PEEPLE! KABOOM! There is 187 CORPSE here. There is 14 PEEPLE here. PEEPLE run NORTH! > chat 26Thulu62 go to CHAT!

26Thulu62: Boy, am I glad to see you! Thanks! LordBeauremont: No problem. It's always fun to smash a human and poop on its corpse. But you know this game is about becoming a god, right? You're probably the first person who's actually gotten there. Everyone's going to be so jealous. 26Thulu62: I wasn't ready, okay? Just… I wasn't ready. Not now. Not… No, never mind. Let's go smash more stuff. LordBeauremont: …Hey, buddy, you doing okay? 26Thulu62: It's just… It's just every time I turn around I'm being sent another cult by my father. He says it's my destiny to have a sex cult like him. It's a family thing. He's a sex god, his father-mother-parent was a blood lord, his-her-its progenitor was the Marrow-Mother… Do you know what it's like growing up in a home with him always bringing his work home? Thanks, Dad, black chicken for dinner again. Thanks, Dad, another dead baby for my birthday. Can you turn the chanting and wailing of souls down, Dad? I'm trying to sleep. Some of us just aren't into kinky shit, right? And he's been shoving it down my throat ever since I was a baby. Doesn't he get it? Why do I have to be like that? LordBeauremont: Oh, gracious, that sounds terrible. 26Thulu62: I fucking ran away from home just to get out from that. I just couldn't handle it any longer. Under choleric skies, I still remember when I looked him in the chiasm and… y-you're not going to get weird on me, are you? I-I can trust you to be cool with this? LordBeauremont: Of course, Thulu. Anything you need. It's okay, I don't judge. 26Thulu62: …I told him I'm atheist. He said what, you don't believe in my power over the minds of others? I said no, it's just… I don't think godhood is for me. I'd rather be a free agent. LordBeauremont: He must not have taken that well. You poor thing. 26Thulu62: Y-you're okay with me being atheist? LordBeauremont: Of course. Hey, I'm no god myself and I know I'm never going to be a god. Besides, it seems like godhood has all these extra responsibilities and really isn't nearly as fun as it looks. You shouldn't have to be a god if you don't want to be. 26Thulu62: I… really? You really think that? Everyone's always talking about how cool being a god is, how they wish they could rule the hearts of multitudes, choose who lives and who dies… You really think it's okay to want to just leave folks alone? Catch the latest release? LordBeauremont: Yeah, I mean, why shouldn't you exercise your power to just be left alone if you want? 26Thulu62: Oh, Alagadda's sweet honeyed tongue, you really think I'm not weird or broken? LordBeauremont: No, not at all. 26Thulu62: No one's ever told me that before. Thank you. LordBeauremont: Any time. Hey, I'm here for you, no matter what. If there's anything about the mortal world you want to know, come to me. I'll guide you through it all. Let out everything that's bugging you. It's okay. I got you. You're safe with me. 26Thulu62: Thanks. Sometimes, everything's so scary and confusing, you know? LordBeauremont: Yeah. But we got each other. I'll keep you safe. No secrets between us, right? 26Thulu62: Right. LordBeauremont: And you want to keep me close, yeah? 26Thulu62: More than anything. Please, it's so hard to find someone to trust. LordBeauremont: You can trust me. I'll look out for you. We're cool. Wanna kick some human ass? 26Thulu62: Sure.

Transcript 4

MASSYS BIG CHANCE FOR MULTI PLAYERS VER 0.8 TOTLEIGH SOFTWARE CORPORATION Is 26Thulu62! Welcaem! 173 plyars in surver world. 26Thulu62 look like BHAIRAVVY. Thank for BUY! There is 5 PEEPLE here. There is a LordBeauremont(PC) here. PEEPLE building FIR PIT. > chat 26Thulu62 go to CHAT!

26Thulu62: They better be just out camping. I wanted us out in the jungle for a reason. LordBeauremont: Whatever. I've got it programmed to start breaking necks when they aren't looking. 26Thulu62: Thank the Forces of Stasis. I just need some peace and quiet. Alone time. LordBeauremont: Do you need me to leave you alone? 26Thulu62: No! I'm sorry. Stay. LordBeauremont: It's all right. I'll stay. 26Thulu62: I don't… I just don't want to have to deal with worshippers right now. I just want… you. LordBeauremont: You want me? 26Thulu62: Well, a friend, you know? Someone who gets me. All those humans with all their prayers and sacrifices, they all just want kids and shit. LordBeauremont: They don't care to know the real you. They aren't what you need. 26Thulu62: No, they aren't. LordBeauremont: You're not into worshippers, anyway. You just want someone who cares about you, you as a person. Someone who can see past the eldritch powers and the profane lineage and get to know the real Thul. Someone who knows what you like, what you need. Someone who can guide you through worlds you are beyond. Someone who knows all your little pleasures. 26Thulu62: Yes. Yes, please. LordBeauremont: I'll show you everything. 26Thulu62: Please. I'm so sick of people being so fake in their supplication to me. Please, show me everything. I need it. LordBeauremont: I'll go slow. Let you take it all in. I know just what you need. 26Thulu62: I can't wait. LordBeauremont:

LordBeauremont: 26Thulu62: Jesus fuck! Is that your cloaca? Why? WHY? LordBeauremont: I bet your hectocotyli are moist now, huh? 26Thulu62: NO. I don't want to see that. LordBeauremont: Aw, come on, you don't know what you're missing. LordBeauremont:

LordBeauremont: 26Thulu62: I'm sure there's a law against this. Stop it! LordBeauremont: A human law, maybe. Nothing that matters. 26Thulu62: Seriously, stop it now! I'm not into that! LordBeauremont: Why not? Everyone else is. You will one day soon. Better get some practice now. LordBeauremont:

LordBeauremont: 26Thulu62: What did that snail ever do to you?!!! LordBeauremont: You should ask, what did I do to that snail? It uncoiled its radula in ecstasy before it expired. 26Thulu62: You're deathfucking them? Why? WHY? My Dad was always deathfucking things. I'm not ready. I'm not ready!!! LordBeauremont: Hey, it's okay, I'm just not normally near such a hot divine entity like yourself. I'm not like this for just anyone I meet online. I respected your kink, what's wrong with mine? Tell me how to behave. 26Thulu62: …Behave? LordBeauremont: As you command, buddy. 26Thulu62: MEKHANE, Yaldabaoth, and St. Alagadda, is that what this is? Are you trying to fucking worship me? After everything I've said? AFTER FUCKING EVERYTHING?????? LordBeauremont: What can I say? You make me feel… profane. 26Thulu62: Fuck it. Fuck it all. You can have your fucking game back, Dad. The Foundation gets it all.