And yet the following biopics have as much in common with the true events they depict as Zardoz does with the Vietnam War, often to the annoyance of the people being "honored."

When a movie uses the words "inspired by a true story," a lot of times they actually mean "sorta resembling something the screenwriter half-heard while snorting coke." We've established that pretty well by now . When it's a biographical movie, though, we assume they'll at least make sure to respect the spirit of the real person's life story -- otherwise, why bother?

7 Argo -- The Finale Is the Opposite of What Happened

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The Movie:

Argo depicts the CIA's insane scheme to secretly rescue six Americans in Iran during the hostage crisis in the late '70s (which we told you about a year before Hollywood did). The plan called for CIA agent Tony Mendez (Ben Affleck) to fly over to Iran, dress everyone up in silly outfits, and say they were a movie company scouting locations for a Star Wars ripoff in Tehran. In the gripping final scene, the Iranian guards at the airport find out the Americans' true identities just as they're about to leave and literally chase the plane down the runway with AK-47s.

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"Stop them! They have 200 milliliters of toothpaaaaste!"

Things look hairy for a moment there, but the plane manages to take off just as the guards are about to get in front of it, and the Americans are free. USA! USA!

The Reality:

Actually, that should be: "CANADA! CANADA!" The movie makes it seem like it was all the CIA's idea, but Canada was responsible for at least 90 percent of the operation, and that's according to President Jimmy Carter. Ken Taylor, the Canadian diplomat who risked his neck by hiding the Americans and going out to gather intelligence, called the CIA a "junior partner" in the rescue.

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"... for politely shutting up as we steal all the credit."

Also, that tense scene at the airport? Never happened. According to Mendez, the escape went off "without a hitch." In the movie, the CIA calls off the mission at the last minute and cancels the plane tickets, presumably because Affleck accidentally slipped into a Boston accent. In reality, Canada responsibly bought the plane tickets well ahead of time, and the group just walked through the airport and left with their fake storyboards and real '70s mustaches.