My dearest Lady GaGa,

You stole my heart when you addressed the rumors about your genitalia with a flippant comment: “Yes I do [have a dick], and it’s much bigger than yours!” You made me melt when you came out as bisexual in Rolling Stone.

If I wasn’t sure of this before, I am now: I am officially in love with you. Here’s why:

See you there,

Jamie