Where the hell are all the Republicans on Capitol Hill?

Have you ever seen — or not seen — such a bunch of cowardly, spineless front-running, back-pedaling political curs?

The sniveling Beltway GOP is doing their best to MAGA — Make America Gutless Again.

You could at least understand their terror if there was even a scintilla, an iota, a shred of evidence that Donald Trump had “colluded” with the Russians, whatever that means. But there isn’t, so why are they cowering in abject fear of the pajama boys in the fake-news media and their Democrat fellow travelers?

The Republicans are all wringing their hands and whimpering how “troubled” and “disturbed” and “concerned” they are by these allegations of … what exactly? The solons claim to be hearing “echoes” of Watergate. It’s all the usual suspects — John McCain, Lindsey Graham, and now Kelly Ayotte’s replacement in the RINO chorus line, Ben Sasse of Nebraska.

Most of these people have always hated Trump. They were hoping the summer White House would be reopening next weekend at Walker Point in Kennebunkport. Think Gov. Charlie Baker, that RINO’s RINO. Now they’re saying, “I told you so.” They’re being quoted (anonymously) in stories with headlines like “President Mike Pence,” as if the lynch mob would be satisfied with just Trump’s scalp.

The few Republicans in Congress who even dare to go in front of a camera call for “immediate classified briefings,” or they try to issue mealy-mouthed on-the-one-hand-on-the-other-hand statements while quivering in fear.

“It may be something very serious,” said Rep. Carlos Curbelo (R-Fla.), “or it may be nothing.”

Like Inspector Clouseau, he suspects everyone, he suspects no one.

But most of the Republicans are totally MIA, just like they were in October after the “Access Hollywood” tapes came out. The difference is, back then there was actually something to run from, plus it looked like Trump was going down in a landslide.

But now he’s the president. And this “scandal” is like a political version of the old book, “Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds.” If you ever wondered what it was like during the Salem witch trials back in 1692, just turn on CNN or MSNBC.

These Republicans are now declaiming that this special prosecutor will be “bipartisan,” and that his probe will be over in a matter of months. Are they serious? Look at this guy Robert Mueller. He went to prep school with John Kerry, he was brought to Boston by Bill Weld, he was appointed by a Bush and worked for an Obama.

Totally on the level, in other words.

Let me be the first to say, if you want to hide something real good, just stick it in one of Robert Mueller’s law books.

The jackals have no evidence — even Maxine Waters and Dianne Feinstein have conceded that. James Comey said under oath earlier this month that there had been no interference from the White House. The Democrats just can’t accept the fact that they lost the election. Period. They refuse to realize that sometimes, as Shakespeare wrote, the fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves.

Instead, they spin their fantasies. Impeachment, they say, is in the air. Not to mention a whiff of fascism, according to Comrade Chris Matthews.

Yep, there’s a whiff of something in the air all right, but it isn’t fascism. Just hope I don’t get any on my shoe.

Buy Howie’s new book, “Kennedy Babylon: A Century of Scandal and Depravity,” at howiecarrshow.com.