Well in our first story of bad news this Post Hillary Clinton Chokes and Loses Her Life's Ambition LOL Day, turns out one of the myriad of snooty celebrities who promised to pack their designer luggage and ship out to Canada (always Canada, never Mexico or Syria, just saying) is backing out. Not unlike a blood-sucking tick when doused with oil. Yes, Amy Schumer, my "favorite" feminist, is now saying her talk of moving if Trump won? "It was a joke." Maybe that's why we didn't laugh the first time.

From FoxNews:

"My act will change because I will need to learn to speak Spanish because I will move to Spain or somewhere," she said. "It's beyond my comprehension if Trump won. It's too crazy." However, Tuesday morning she took to Instagram to inform fans she was staying in America. Schumer noted she had also said she would move to London. "First of all the interview where I said I would move was in London and was said in jest. Not that anyone needs more than a headline to count something as official news," she wrote on Instagram. The star added in her lengthy post that she was grieving. "I am furious. I cry for her and for all the smart people I love..."

We "love" Amy here, so of course I went over to her Instagram to pull the full post.

The Breakdown:

It's a long post, and if you voted for Trump, Amy thinks you're an idiot who frequently bumps into walls. Probably because you're preoccupied, strumming finger over lips, making bumbling sounds. You poor thing, you. So, since you, the dummy Trump supporter, can't "read" what Dearest Amy has shared, allow me to present a visual which best represents her words:

So thanks for this, Amy. If you're not going to pack up and move out of the United States, at least we have your graciously butt-hurt attitude to keep us delightfully entertained for the next four years. #SilverLining

Let's hope Amy and her elitist ilk keep the condescension coming. It is, after all, one reason Trump won the election. No, not because of racism or sexism, Amy sweetie. Here, let Steven clarify it for you.

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