Carl Richards

Carl Richards is a certified financial planner in Park City, Utah, and is the director of investor education at the BAM Alliance. His book, “The Behavior Gap,” was published this year. His sketches are archived on the Bucks blog.

It’s official: I’m not a shopper! It has been a long and lonely road to this point, but it feels good to finally discover the truth about myself.

Last summer I needed a new sport coat. My current one was 10 years old and looked it. I kept putting off buying a new one, because every time I go shopping it’s no fun. No fun for me and no fun for anyone who goes with me. My wife vows never to go with me again after just about every shopping trip. Luckily, she forgets the pain just enough since I need her help if I have any hope of looking presentable.

Based on anecdotal evidence, I’m guessing that some people find shopping fun, even (or especially) on Black Friday. I have even heard that people actually like to go out with friends for the specific purpose of shopping. Some people even plan vacations around the activity.

This has long been a puzzle for me. It’s not that I want to become a recreational shopper. I just want to make it a bit less painful for people to be around me when a situation requires a trip to the store.

After years of working on my problem, I think I have it figured out.

In an effort to simplify the issue, I’ve divided the world into two kinds of people: those who think shopping is fun and those that don’t. There’s only a problem when you don’t know which camp you belong to.

Shoppers enjoy options. I guess it’s fun for them to think about which shirt goes well with the sport coat they’re there to get. To nonshoppers, options just get in the way of getting stuff done. For them, shopping is not about entertainment, mixing and matching or assembling an evening ensemble (whatever that is).

It’s about the fastest way in and out of the store with the exact item you already know you need or want. This activity isn’t even the same thing as shopping. It deserves its own name, maybe purpose-driven-shopping, or even better “getting stuff.”

When you’re getting stuff, you know what you want. It was determined before you walked in the door. No need to even think about accessories. Now here’s what my clothes shopping looks like! Need a tie with that? Hmm, let me look at that list. Nope, it’s not there. A belt? No, it’s not on the list. Extended warranty? Not on the list.

Getting stuff requires research. You need to know what you want. If you’re a nonshopper, don’t go to the store to do that research, or if you do, don’t take a shopper with you. They will think they’re going on a fun activity, like a fourth-grade field trip. Since you’re at cross purposes, it can lead to conflict when you put on your game face in the parking lot. For you, this is not fun and games; it’s getting stuff done.

The Internet is a great place for research, and I suggest you call it that. When you’re approached by a shopper and they ask what you’re doing on the Gap Web site, tell them, “Research.” This will make it clear that this is not fun, and if they decide to help, there should be no expectation of fun.

Looking back on the arguments I’ve had over money with my wife, many of them involve silent drives home after shopping. So if my theory holds true, acknowledging that I’m a getting stuff person and my wife is a shopping person can end these arguments. The same could hold true for you.

How does this compare to your shopping experience? Do you fall into the category of “getting stuff” or “shopping?”