Nothing beats starting the day with a warm cup of coffee and inject bouts of laughter to lighten the mood. Take a sip ☕ and get ready as we jump right in 😂

#1 When you're a parent waking up...

Oh to have kids and a morning. These are the moments I wake up and am so glad I am not a star of a reality show with cameras watching my every move. What happens in the kitchen in the morning stays in the kitchen in the morning.

#2 final warning...

Have you ever tried to help someone make coffee in the morning. The fumbling around for measurements as your brain tries to remember how to fill the back with water. But your coffee helper is more in the way then help. Back TF up, I got this. You can save the world at lunch.

#3 morning...

We have all sat down to work. Opened email, checked Facebook, made a list of to dos. So much work we already need a break. Look at the clock and it is only 9:10am. Give yourself a high five for doing so much in only ten minutes and take a break anyway.

#4 I've made it

Maybe now that the coffee is brewing go wash your face and put on clean clothes. Just a suggestion.

#5 when it is never enough...

How come it is so easy to drink three cups of coffee in less than an hour but so hard to drink 8 glasses of water in a whole day?

#6 when i smell...

Did you know people's favorite smells are in this order: Playdough, Fresh Baked Bread, and Coffee. Don’t look it up, just take our word for it.

#7 water...

I always tell my husband that MY body is 98% coffee. And you can’t really prove that it’s not.

#8 when you try

You know how they say exercising is a great way to start your day? To me it is a great way to get me to nap. All out of breath and sweaty and all.

#9 redbull

DON’T GO FIND OUT WHAT THAT NOISE IS. WE WILL NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN!

#10 ideal time

♪♫Coffee in the morning, coffee in the evening, coffee at supper time♪♪

#11 I wonder

But you are glossing over the best parts. 1. I look dam good holding this drink and 2. Please refer back to 1

#12 it's safe now...

But when you come out please also bring me lollipops and song. Let’s start this day out with a bang!

#13 makes me feel....

Well it doesn’t make me feel like my stepmother has enslaved me and I am finally rebelling only with the help of magic in hopes to find a man to save and fix my situation. But yeah pretty dress, ok I’m in.

#14 a day might come...

No today is also not the day I will choose to brush my hair or wash my face apparently. No today is much like yesterday and also tomorrow. Me barley being presentable and nice to the world. But you choose me, now your stuck with me.

#15 my face...

Ah the 50’s. A time when women in ads couldn’t wait to catch a man with her fantastic stockings or her delicious cigarette. Did we also mention this woman is dead inside?

that thing in my coffee cup....

#16 that moment...

Janet, you look like you have to tell me something, but you also look like you want to kill me. Should I grab HR real quick?

#17 but first...

What if the house was on fire? Or the zombies were right outside your door? I hear you, you said what you said.

#18 it's... monday

Garfield couldn’t make this playdate. I mean will you want less coffee on Tuesday? I have a feeling you won't.

#19 trick me not...

I wish coffee to trick me into thinking you were a good person for 27 seconds. I would take it.

#20 some mornings....

Is this what Sia looks like in the morning? Does she have a tiny dancer that mimes drinking coffee around her kitchen while she is chugging down?

#21 coffeegasm

I think you and I are having very different kinds of orgasums.

#22 No.1 mommy coffee hack

As long as you don’t put the kids in the microwave I think we are ok.

#23 any minute...

When it does kick in just realize that this is a lion. So you prolly don’t want to be standing next to him when it happens.

#24 when you thought...

I mean coffee can’t fix stupid. If it could we would all use it. I guess except the stupid people, they prolly wouldn’t get on board.

#25 the moment when you ran out of coffee...

Easy, find the person in charge of buying the coffee and scream at them till they cry. That should fix everything!

#26 I tried...

Everytime I am about to murder someone I just think to myself...hey if I could have a cup of coffee all of this would go away.

#27 I promised...

I also promised my wife I would be home on time for dinner and that I wouldn’t cheat on her. Just so you have a gage of how I am as a person.

#28 than... and now

Other things you hated as a kid that as an adult you are good with: Going to bed and sleeping, brushing your hair, and beer.

#29 how to catch someone...

I don’t want to be rude, but if that's all it takes you deserve to be captured.

#30 the coffee machine is...

So is your business model apparently. Why doesn’t anyone in your office have a computer, or paper and pen? Do you run a sitting business?

#31 not enough....

Maybe it is because it takes you like an hour to get dressed in the morning. Ever think about making it more casual?

#32 when you are...

WAIT you are telling me they don’t put ANYTHING in those mugs? So they just hold them to look more relatable?

#33 Look... no phone.. no

What club is this that just walks around together and makes random comments on the world? Not a running club I can tell you that much!

#34 my order just came in...

This is the strongest commercial for Amazon Prime shipping I have ever seen.

#35 oh well you know...

Sir this is a starbucks, you can’t just lay here. Please sir, you are scaring the children.

#36 but first...

I shouldn’t have to say this, but don’t give coffee to your pets. It’s not good for them. Look what happened to this cat.

#37 i assume this means...

Or she needs medical attention. I know how you always mix those two things up.

#38 what owwwl are you...

Super simple answer. I am not an owl. I am a human being god dammit!

#39 did you ever stop to...

No Sharon, you have a problem. No one ever says, geez did you ever think cocaine is addicted to me. Listen to yourself talk.

the moment when.....

#40 mom rule 2...

I wasn’t gonna question you about what you did before you made the coffee. But now it’s weird that you brought it up. So now I feel like you have to tell me. This is like your BS facebook posts that say “Today is the worst” you want me to ask why. Don’t do this to our friendship.

#41 a day without...

Let me tell you a little secret, a day without coffee for YOU is probably the day you get a bad headache. It’s called caffeine withdrawal. You can google it.

#42 i had enough...

It’s gonna take more than a cup of coffee to handle all this I got going on bub. Put that in your cup and drink it!

#43 when your kids starts yelling before...

Man or man, remember when spanking was ok? No me neither cause spanking was never really ok, we just all kind of went along with it.

#44 why do you like coffee...

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

#45 like to thank.....

Can you imagine what else they came up with? Like shoe laces. When we all know we could wear shoes perfectly fine without laces. But someone was like...no this is a skill we all need to learn. You know what I mean?

#46 motherhood... the truth...

This is the worst Judd Aptow movie ever.

#47 you sure love coffee...

Could you imagine if coffee could hide stuff around the house? They would probably hide all the mugs so they wouldn’t get drunk by you.

#48 every woman needs a...

And a decent dishwasher, and grocery shopper, oh I could talk dirty like this all day.

#49 as it turns out...

That only leaves 7% for whiny little asshole. Those numbers don’t check out.

#50 before... after coffee...

This tiny cup of coffee couldn’t blind you if I threw it directly into your eyes. I doubt it could fix your day.

#51 how i think i look...

Who flirts in coffee shops anymore. Get a dating app dude.

#52 look forward to going to bed...

You know you could drink coffee at night right? There is no law or anything keeping you from doing that.

#53 i'm divine....

This is what happens when you tell your kids they can be anything they want. It’s just not true.

#54 before my...

And after your coffee. And in between sips. You basically are a beast like all the time.

#55 can i call you back...

Just text me, we don’t need to talk ok.

#56 teacher: but you might...

DUDE, don’t threaten death to a kid. Not cool. Take your basic ass outside and take a moment.

#57 the point of coffee is to...

I think your first cup of coffee should be perfect. Half and Half with two sugars. And as your day bitters on do can you coffee.

#58 no filter...

Hahahahha you made a filter joke. Now I have to kill you. I mean you get it right.

#59 Captian Janeway: Listen..... I don't need coffee

I don’t need to breath, or think, or feel. I don’t need anything from anyone! Or except I do need to do all those things. I am confused, I haven’t had coffee yet. I was trying to cut back. Come on man don’t get mad at me.

#60 how i feel...

You feel like an 80’s music video that no one really understands but we all jam to anyway? Cool cool.

#61 a giraffe's coffee....

I mean, your not wrong.

#62 how i feel after a nap....

Studies show you actually no longer need to nap after the age of 10. So really you shouldn’t. Then you wouldn’t feel like this. Just saying.

#63 moment when i spill coffee in my car...

Now you don’t have to buy one of those scented air fresheners. Boom problem solved.

#64 there are basically 2 categories of coffee...

What does smooth jazz coffee taste like?

#65 how does Moses make coffee....

You know what Jesus said to this: NAILED IT!

#66 bottomless cup of coffee...

Is this what they mean when they say bottomless cup of coffee? The pot is magical and never runs out.

#67 let's get drunk...

I heard when Bill Murray crashes parties he gets crazy, but I had no idea. No Bill I don’t want to take a taste now thanks.

#68 this drink...

Hey hey Gary, you can’t just break all the dishes unless you are gonna pay for breakfast. We all know you don’t have any money so chill ok, we don’t want to get kicked out again.

#69 summon me....

I also just answer to my name. You could just yell my name. I will totally come. But if you prefer the theatrical route I am here for it.

Had a good laugh 😂? Be sure to share some laughter and joy with your friends, especially those who need it to get through to Friday! Most importantly, enjoy your coffee!