This thought struck me the other day in a mid-afternoon reverie: isn’t everything in creation subject to the laws of attraction?

So what do you if you wake up some morning and the attraction in your committed relationship has suddenly and inexplicably turned to repulsion? Do you stay, panic or run?

Perhaps there is a more liberating, integrated way to look at this.

Isn’t it love that makes the world go round? And isn’t it love that propels the evolutionary thrust of the cosmos forward?

I believe it is. But perhaps how we have traditionally understood relationships needs a fresh, bigger, and more evolutionary frame of reference.

It seems to me that a popular conception of intimate coupling is where two, individuated, “separate” souls, through the dance of attraction, romance, passion and companionship, form—or seek to form—a common grounding or “kindred spiritedness” that will nourish and underpin their evolving relationship.

The fundamental hope, I surmise, is that this energy will endure and supply what is needed when the going gets bumpy. In some cases, it does; but in many, it doesn’t. Something—or many things—are missing.

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and feel like you are born over-charged for life on earth? That you (and every species on earth) are born with this insatiable desire for communion with all that exists in creation?

Or, do you wonder if one exclusive, committed, relationship—or job, or connection of any kind, can possibly satisfy all your deepest longings? Relax! It’s okay to have these feelings or “weird” impulses.

You’re not cheating (in your heart) on your partner; or running out on your family or respected profession. You’re simply waking up to the larger (infinite) evolutionary or creative impulse of the cosmos that is way bigger than, and yet intimately infuses, the very fabric of human consciousness.

On a cosmic level, the human dance of desire is an urgent questing to be in communion with all who are, ever has been, and ever will be in the whole created order.

But where does this passion (fire) for belonging come from? Is it a sacred longing and what do we do if it threatens to rage out of control?

How are we to understand it, befriend it, and learn to tame it?

We do this by learning from, aligning with, and paying attention to the history and unfolding of the evolutionary journey of the universe. Everything that has ever or will ever exist in creation is grounded in a love-energy that is dynamic, erotic and deeply relational.

So the life-force or energy of the universe is…erotic? Yep, it sure is!

Passion is the sine qua non ingredient of the whole chaotic mix. And the good news is: deeply interwoven into the multidimensional energy fields of the cosmos, and that of every cell in our body, is a calming and loving intelligence that knows how to create union, wholeness and harmony.

That blueprint has been there from the beginning; and it is what lures and orients us to a future of ever greater wholeness and completeness—if we pay attention and act on its ancient (but always new) wisdom.

What then can we learn from the dynamic, erotic and relational nature of the cosmos? We learn that to become more than our earth plane, self-absorbed, sexually obsessive and possessive selves, we need to exist and live exclusively for the sake of giving. That’s all the universe does: it expands, becomes more, and pours itself out in ever more creative and complex ways daily—in, with, through, and for us—its conscious agents.

I do not exist in order that I may possess; I choose to exist in order that I may give of myself—to you, over and over again.

Therefore, certain patterns of behavior, inconsistency, dissatisfaction and compulsive hungering for more out of life, may not be symptomatic of disorder and dysfunctionality; but may simply mean that we need to listen more attentively to the larger evolutionary impulse that lives within, impels us (individually, collectively, culturally, globally and cosmically) forward, and ultimately supplies us with what we need to joyously join this cosmic dance of never-ending creation!

We’ll join it in a healthy, balanced and integrated way.

So the next time a retro mood hits you and you go tearing down the street in your VM Bug blaring “Come on Baby, Light My Fire” from your woofers, just remember that the ancient and erotic fire of the cosmos is already ablaze deep within you and around you!

Perhaps you don’t need to (impulsively) ditch your job, find a new partner, or move to a new location. You may simply need to “chill” in the relationships you are in; take stock of the beauty and possibility therein; and recognize that we’re all in this cosmic, evolutionary dance together.

In the final analysis, understanding this larger evolutionary frame of reference, as it pertains to every relationship in our life, may just be the impetus we need to re-appreciate the depth, beauty, and richness, of what we already have.

Love elephant and want to go steady?

Author: Gerard Murphy

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Eddi van W./Flickr