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It’s enough to have Stephen Harper’s base choking on their Kool Aid.

The same prime minister who adamantly blocked Cuba’s participation in the Summit of the Americas in 2012 now shaking hands with President Raul Castro. What’s next, Harper in a Che Guevara T-shirt having a stogie with Fidel?

While Canada’s PM was abandoning any ideological high ground by sucking around for a meeting with Castro, the federal cabinet was congratulating itself for its “world-class” reaction to an oil spill in the waters off Vancouver’s legendary Stanley Park.

No real surprise in that. This is the same bunch that patted themselves on the back for losing, along with the government of Ontario, $3.5 billion of taxpayers’ money invested in the auto industry in 2009. Sound fiscal management, right? Or is it suddenly sound government policy to pay for operating costs by selling off capital — balancing the budget by selling GM shares exactly when most of the experts advised that hanging on to them was a better course?

It should be noted that the oil spill, from a brand new ship on its maiden voyage, happened in calm waters. If Mother Nature had been having a bad hair day, things would have been much worse — two tonnes of toxic sludge sloshing hither and yon looking for ducks to coat and gills to clog.

“I think it’s irresponsible for people to dial up fear and anxiety.” … This from the government that made fear mongering a tactic in Canadian politics! “I think it’s irresponsible for people to dial up fear and anxiety.” … This from the government that made fear mongering a tactic in Canadian politics!

Had it been bitumen, which sinks, as compared to bunker fuel that floats; had it been oozing from a ruptured tanker instead of a leaking grain ship; had it been the Burrard Inlet instead of English Bay, well, let’s just put it this way: it would have been way worse than Sharknado 3.

Six hours went by before skimming operations began. Nine more passed before encircling the leaking vessel with a boom. And while workers from other first responders showed up, Transport Canada and Environment Canada were apparently still looking for their gumboots ashore. As it was, it took 13 hours before local residents and municipal governments were even informed of the toxic spill. Thirty six hours later, it was all taken care of — except for 20 per cent of the oil that ‘must have evaporated.’

That is the performance for which the Harper government took a bow. Industry minister James Moore thought the response was “very impressive.” More than that, fear-mongering about the event was misplaced.

“I think it’s irresponsible for people to dial up fear and anxiety,” said Moore. This from the government that made fear mongering a tactic in Canadian politics!

Moore was not the only Conservative cabinet minister who thought the feds deserved a gold star on their homework. Natural Resources minister Greg Rickford bloviated about Canada’s “world-class” safety system.

Rickford is an expert on world-class facilities. He just doesn’t know what to do with them. He put the knife into one in his own Kenora riding, the Experimental Lakes Area. Harper, his master, blew the dog whistle and Rickford dutifully performed a gold-medal flip-flop on the ELA after initially praising it. How comforting for him to tell British Columbians that everything about the spill is “under control.”

So while the Harperites gave themselves an A-plus — as usual — the city and province where the spill happened weren’t so charitable. As one of the PM’s finger-puppets put it, they were not “helpful” at all. Sort of like those vets who had the audacity to challenge the government’s view that closing VAC facilities would actually improve services.

Both B.C. premier Christy Clark and Vancouver mayor Gregor Robertson flensed Ottawa for what they saw as its pathetic response to the spill.

Robertson sliced off layers of blubber from the federal claim that the response had been effective, calling the efforts of both Ottawa and the province “totally inadequate”. Meanwhile, Clark took a filleting knife to what was left of federal protestations of a job well done. Clark carved up the performance of the Coast Guard, demanding that Ottawa transfer emergency response powers to the province. Finally, she went in for the political kill, uttering the phrase that chills the body fluids of all Harper ministers:

“There won’t be any expansion of heavy oil movement out of this port or any other port in B.C. until we get world-class spill response, period.”

Remember, when he is not playing King of the Closet, Harper fancies himself the Baron of Bitumen. What Clark said is high blasphemy.

The premier and the mayor are entitled to their fury. They also know that getting on the wrong side of the environment issue is fatal for a British Columbia politician.

One of the reasons that the Green Party is soaring in that province is that it is the only party that opposes the Kinder Morgan pipeline expansion. You know Kinder Morgan, it’s the pipeline company with the emergency clean-up plan that is so full of secret corporate information they can’t even tell the politicians about it, let alone the Great Unwashed. I don’t know what the plan contains, but let’s hope it doesn’t come down to “Break out the mops.”

The truth is that the Harper government has taken a chainsaw to federal government services in British Columbia that leaves its beautiful coastline more vulnerable to disasters like oil spills.

Since 2011, when Harper received his majority and no one could stop him anymore, he cut 10 Coast Guard stations. In places like Kitsilano, Comox, and Tofino, federal cutbacks weakened the ability of the Coast Guard to monitor and manage pollution offences. As former Canadian Coast Guard Captain Tony Toxopeus told CBC, the Kitsilano station could have been on the scene of the spill with a dedicated oil pollution response vessel and 300 metres of boom “within 15 minutes.”

If British Columbians believe the skipper, Moore should start checking the career section of the Globe.

When the Harper government crows about balancing the budget — while adding $150 billion to the national debt — Canadians should remember how this cheap parlour trick was pulled off ; by stinting veterans, killing scientific research, weakening the food inspection system, cutting healthcare funding, and yes, putting British Columbia’s priceless coastline and the entire environment at risk.

A bit steep that, all to be of an anti-democratic, embryonic police state that has turned Canada into a war-mongering, arms-seller on record saying that global warming is a ruse of poor countries to screw money out of the rich.

If the Millienials need a wake up call to engage in the looming federal election, this prime minister is a walking alarm clock.

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Michael Harris is a writer, journalist, and documentary filmmaker. He was awarded a Doctor of Laws for his “unceasing pursuit of justice for the less fortunate among us.” His nine books include Justice Denied, Unholy Orders, Rare ambition, Lament for an Ocean, and Con Game. His work has sparked four commissions of inquiry, and three of his books have been made into movies. His new book on the Harper majority government, Party of One, is a number one best-seller.

Readers can reach the author at [email protected]. Click here to view other columns by Michael Harris.

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