The Last Four Out ...

Harvard — Too much exposure and it's become the go-to when people try to make a "smart" school joke. It's time for other smart and dorky schools to shine.

Too much exposure and it's become the go-to when people try to make a "smart" school joke. It's time for other smart and dorky schools to shine. University of Texas — Like everything in Texas, it's too big for it's own good.

Like everything in Texas, it's too big for it's own good. Northwestern — Chicago won yesterday. Northwestern loses today.

Chicago won yesterday. Northwestern loses today. UC Berkeley — Too much exposure and it's become the go-to when people try to make a "hippy-dippy liberal" joke. There are other jokes as hippy, liberal and insufferable as Berkeley.

*University of Prince Edward Island: Not actually in America, but we wanted our lone Canadian staffer to be a part of March Madness. We did not let his Canadian school get very far.

Your vote: William and Mary

The Wire's vote:

Round of 32

(1) Duke vs. (16) Trump University: You really have to weigh your dislike here. We're going to give Duke a win because Donald Trump deserves to lose. All the time. More than Duke. Winner: Duke.

(2) Michigan vs. (15) Liberty: Jerry Falwell. Winner: Michigan

(3) Michigan State vs. (14) SUNY Geneseo: Michigan State has basketball and football to kill time in the middle of nowhere. SUNY Geneseo does not, therefore SUNY Geneseo loses. Winner: Michigan State

(4) Stanford vs. (13) Stamford: Poor Stamford, they can't catch a break ... and won't be catching one here. Winner: Stanford.

(5) Amherst vs. (12) Oberlin: Oberlin comes away with the victory, because people still watch Girls. Winner: Oberlin

(6) Ohio State vs. (11) Penn State: These two schools are pretty evenly matched, except Ohio State's football program is less gross than Penn State. Winner: Ohio State

(7) Mizzou vs. (10) Florida Gulf Coast: If Florida were less embarrassing, then this would be closer. Winner: Mizzou

(8) Cornell vs. (9) Hampshire The only way Cornell would beat Hampshire and its Lupita moment is if June Squibb and Jennifer Lawrence were alums ... and went to school at the same time. Winner: Hampshire.

The Other Half of the Bracket...

(1) NYU vs. (16) Barnard: Sorry NYU. Barnard is less offensive, and isn't ruining the Village. Winner: Barnard.

(2) UNC vs. (15) UNCG: As much as we'd love a Duke vs. UNC Chapel Hill matchup in the future, we're going with the little state school that could. Also, UNC's recent academic controversies make this a little easier. Winner: UNC Greensboro.

(3) Yale vs. (14) University of Prince Edward Island: Yale has a Shake Shack. I am not sure if anyone at University of Prince Edward Island has ever tasted anything from Shake Shack. Winner: Yale

(4) Princeton vs. (13) William and Mary: If the choice is between getting hit on by a Thomas Jefferson impersonator or someone that might have read Princeton Mom's book, we choose the former. Winner: William and Mary.

(5) UCLA vs. (12) USC: No matter what I say here, someone is going to call the decision irrational and arbitrary. So ... UCLA wins. Winner: UCLA