I finally got my gift from the post office after getting back from vacation and I was greeted with a massive box with a Koffing drawn on it wishing me a Merry Christmas. I was super excited to finally open it after waiting two weeks for the mail!

Inside was another box, this time wrapped in a wonderful gift wrapping of wintery snowglobes. Inside, yet another cardboard box (when would it end?). Turns out it ended there.

From the moment I picked it up I knew it was some sort of substantial gift as it was heavy. Probably close to 10 pounds. As I opened the box I realized that it was not one gift, but quite a few! I locked eyes with Mario as I removed him from the box. Next came a box of filter media for my new aquarium, which was desperately needed actually. Next came out a little green capsule that had a Legend of Zelda figurine in it, and it was an awesome Link holding up the Master Sword, which is now on display in front of my TV.

Following this, I removed a Portal sentry turret, a Princess Peach wind-up car, and a huge jar of Valentina Salsa Picante Mexican hot sauce! I've been searching for a new hot sauce to try and I can't wait to dig in to this bottle. Lastly I pulled out a crazy awesome Attack on Titan mug, which will probably be my new work mug, and a large bag of what looked like uncooked wheat thin shaped pasta. The label said Duro so my girlfriend was off to Google to discover what it was, after attempting to eat one raw and realizing that was a mistake. As she found the internet's plethora information about Duritos, I found the last object in the box, a hand-written letter from my mysterious Secret Santa detailing the gifts! In case you can't read it, I'll transcribe it below.

Thank you for these incredible gifts, Secret Santa, and some potential plans are actually in the works for moving out to your awesome city!

//Begin Transcript Dear Chris113113, My original plan was to send you a bunch of Mexican candy with your gift but then I saw you were diabetic so I sent a cool Mexican snack instead. Also some salsa Valentina. Itj's not too spicy but I put it on everything. I hope you enjoy your gifts!

To cook the duritos: 1) Fill pan with a lot of oil 2) Medium heat 3) Put duritos in oil, they'll puff up. 4) Take the duritos out when they're light orange. They'll be too hard if you cook them too long. 5) Put Valentina on them!

You can also google image duritos and see also.

By the way my friend code is [REDACTED]

Merry X-mas Happy Festivus!

Come to San Diego someday, it's fun (and Tijuana)!

By the way, they're called duritos. You gonna be Mexican today.

[On the back] Ojala que te guste tu regalo. Si no, lo siento. //End Transcript