Bernie Sanders Confused By New Hampshire State Motto 'Live Free Or Die' — 'Both Of Those Options Sound Horrible'

MANCHESTER, NH—While campaigning in New Hampshire, presidential candidate Bernie Sanders was very confused when he saw the phrase “Live Free or Die” on a license plate. “What is that?” he demanded. When someone explained it was the state motto, he was even more confounded. “Both those options sound horrible!” he exclaimed.

“Living free is exactly what billionaires want,” Sanders told a crowd at a campaign stop. “That way they can accumulate as much money as they want. Think of living free -- everyone involved in peaceful voluntary exchange without government getting in the way -- it would be chaos! That’s exactly what my socialism is here to fix.”

The second part of the slogan Sanders found even more disturbing. “And is someone threatening to kill you if you don’t live free? Is it the billionaires? Are the billionaires holding you all hostage, and are they going to kill you if you don’t live free? Are you under duress? Blink twice if a billionaire is holding you hostage.”

Sanders stared at the crowd for a while. “I saw that guy blink and that woman blink, but I need one person to blink twice to confirm billionaires are threatening you to live free.” Bernie continued to stand silently, watching the crowd for blinks for the next ten minutes.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee