Daisy: “Have you ever been to Atlantic City before, Mama?”

Big Bad Mama: “Uh huh. Frank Sinatra sang here at our Black Magic Convention.”

Stinky: “What’d he sing?”

Big Bad Mama” ♫ “Voodoo-be-dooby-doo, voodoo-be-dooby doo, voodoo-be-dooby doo…” ♫ Yes, there was a G.L.O.W. girl named Stinky. Her gimmick is that she looked like a skunk and smelled bad. She spends most of this segment fanning her armpits with a room service menu. Daisy mentions that she likes it here, and the others are happy to hear it: they are planning to sell Daisy to the hotel as a maid. I wanted to type up a big thing about how that’s impossible, but she’s sharing a room with a voodoo jokester and a skunk lady, so Jesus, anything is possible. Daisy appeals to fellow Bad Girl “Hollywood” (gimmick: criminal; also, blonde criminal), but Hollywood sides with Mama, recommending they try to get MORE money from Trump by selling her as a waitress. Hollywood casually mentions that she “swiped a letter” from a bellhop, and it’s addressed to Daisy. She “doesn’t know many people who can write,” but it turns out that the note is from DONALD TRUMP HIMSELF, and he wants to take Daisy out to dinner! Daisy trots off to get ready, happy to be freed from her sudden status as ATLANTIC CITY SLAVE, and the seemingly jealous Bad Girls … uh, have a pillow fight.

The letter was all part of the scam! These pro wrestlers, always trying to get over on us! The Bad Girls brag to each other about who was most responsible for Daisy falling for it. Sample dialogue: Big Bad Mama: “It was my handwriting that did the trick.”

Stinky: “Big deal, I could’ve done it, too.”

Big Bad Mama: “Yeah, I saw your fool attempt.”

Stinky: “What was wrong with it?”

Big Bad Mama: “YOU SPELLED TRUMP WRONGGG.”

Stinky: “She would’ve never noticed.”

Big Bad Mama: “I’m sure everybody thinks his name is DONALD GRUMP.” G.L.O.W. is the best show in history, by the way. Meanwhile, Daisy (after warding off the unwanted advances of lecherous G.L.O.W. promoter Johnny C) is trying to get beauty advice from the most beautiful of all G.L.O.W. girls, Godiva (gimmick: NAKED LADY). Godiva’s advice: be yourself, because trying to be like other G.L.O.W. girls is weird and requires lobotomization. Her words, not mine.

Full of confidence, Daisy is about to walk down to her date, which is happening immediately because Imaginary Donald Trump don’t play. Suddenly, the other Bad Girls burst in with “ain’t I a stinker” looks on their faces, announcing that they will walk Daisy down to her date. That seems weird, but they cover it nicely: Hollywood: “We wouldn’t miss this for all the money in the world!”

Stinky: “Especially Donald Trump’s!” So Daisy, Mama, Hollywood and Stinky (my favorite Tom Robbins novel) rush down the escalators and search for Trump, who is nowhere to be found. Hollywood spots some limos in the street and tells Daisy to go check them, so poor Daisy goes trotting out into the street in her cut up stretch pants and daisy facepaint while the others stand at the window and hit her will full-on NYAH HEE HEE laughter. Godiva, oddly, watches from the bushes.

Daisy checks the first limo she finds, and guess who is waiting there with his door open? DONALD TRUMP. Well, it’s supposed to be Donald Trump. We never see him. I mean, they could’ve put somebody in a wig and had them pretend to be Donald Trump and wrestle a lady, but what kind of f-cked up wrestling promotion would do that? Daisy waves goodbye to her friend-enemies (if only there were some kind of clever portmanteau to describe them!) and gets into the limo. Mama, Hollywood and Stinky watch, mouths agape. The laugh track LOVES IT. From her hiding spot in the bushes, Godiva looks to the heavens and says… Godiva: “Thank you, Donald.” BECAUSE DONALD TRUMP LIVES IN HEAVEN. As you gaze upon the Cheeto-hued visage of your potential future president, remember that his greatest accomplishment in wrestling wasn’t humiliating the patriarch of modern wrestling. It wasn’t hosting a Macho Man Randy Savage WWF title win or a Hogan/Savage classic. It was the time he pulled up to a hotel full of G.L.O.W. girls and sat in the parking lot with his limo door open until one of them accidentally wandered into it.