Video by Amanda Steen

STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. -- NancyAnn and Steven Toth, like all parents, said their three children are a blessing.

Their youngest, Kara, is no exception.

During her pregnancy, NancyAnn opted to not have an amniocentesis -- a medical procedure used to detect chromosomal abnormalities -- which was offered by her obstetrician because of her age. She was 34 at the time.

"The doctor asked me if I wanted it and I said if it's going to tell me the sex of the baby I don't want it," NancyAnn said. "And anything else, because of my religion, I'll deal with it."

It was in the delivery room that the Toths learned not only the sex of their new bundle of joy, but that she had Down Syndrome.

"It was a complete surprise but I wasn't upset at all," she said. "I asked the doctors what to expect. He told me, 'Whatever she's going to be, she'll be.'"

EARLY INTERVENTION

Not knowing where to begin, NancyAnn reached out to a family member who has experience working with intellectual and developmentally disabled (I/DD) individuals for guidance.

At the recommendation of her cousin, who advised early intervention programs "as soon as possible," Kara went to Volunteers of America (VOA) Staten Island Early Learning Center in Tottenville at 3 months old.

"Early intervention was such a big help [for Kara]," NancyAnn said, adding that even though it took a little longer, Kara met all major milestones, like speaking and using the toilet.

VOA helps 3- to 5-year-olds with I/DD prepare for kindergarten with speech, physical and occupational therapies; psychologists, teachers and aides.

Following VOA, Kara spent the remainder of her school years at the Seton Foundation for Learning: The Joan Ann Kennedy Memorial Preschool, Mother Franciska Elementary School and Bishop Patrick V. Ahern High School.

'SOMEONE WOULD TAKE HER PLACE IN A HEARTBEAT'

Since graduating from Ahern High School, Kara has been attending Lifestyles For the Disabled at both the Willowbrook Road and Targee Street campuses.

While she has attended other day habilitation programs, NancyAnn said there is "nothing like Lifestyles."

"She loves it there; they do so much with them. She has a better social life than I do," she said, laughing.

The Toths aren't the only Staten Islanders who know the value of programs at Lifestyles For the Disabled.

NancyAnn said she would love to spend time at the family's home in Myrtle Beach, S.C., but that would mean taking Kara out of Lifestyles during their time away.

"I would love to spend three months there -- January, February and March -- but, if I take her out of the program, there's other people that would want to be in her place, that would take her place in a heartbeat. I stay here because there's nothing like this program," she said.

THE BEST PART OF RAISING A CHILD WITH DISABILITIES

Mom said Kara, now 29 years old, is a "perpetual teenager."

The walls of her room are splashed pink and her iPhone glued to her hand. On the other end? Her boyfriend of two years.

"She never ceases to surprise me; she's always amazing me," Toth said.

Toth said there wasn't much of a difference raising Kara compared to her older siblings, because she "refused to treat her any different than them."

"I told myself that she's going to learn to shower by herself, brush her teeth and her hair and potty train just like other kids. I let her learn on her own. I just wouldn't baby her then and we still don't even now," she said.

"She does everything herself ... except clean her room," she said, laughing.

The Toths said raising Kara has been nothing short of incredible -- every day they learn something new about their daughter.

"She's capable of so much -- so, so much. I think that's the best part of raising her. You don't think that she can do something and then, all of a sudden, she does it! And I say to myself, 'Wow, she really can do it.'"

Dignity in Danger is the Advance's depth report on the crisis of care facing Staten Island's developmentally disabled. View the full package.