National Lottery Could Pay for the Wall

A vote for Trump was a vote for the wall. Now we’re being told it won’t be built unless Congress can “find” funding for it. This is nonsense. The highest estimated cost of the wall I’ve seen is $20 billion, which amounts to a measly 0.5% of what they spent in 2016. It’s a ruse. What’s really going on is a majority of Congress members don’t want a wall for reasons ranging from cowardice to donor appeasement. What if I told you there’s a way to raise money for the wall that doesn’t involve having to wait for GOP Congressmen to grow a backbone? And that it would also be completely voluntary, and require no additional tax increase. Sounds too good to be true right? Well there is a way, and it’s so simple you’ll wonder why no one else has suggested it. A national lottery. If you’re familiar with American history, or have watched a lot of Pawn Stars episodes, you know that lotteries have been used to pay for all sorts of things. When Thomas Jefferson wanted to rid himself of his burdensome personal debts, he petitioned the legislature of the State of Virginia seeking permission to dispose of portions of his real estate holdings via a lottery. It’s safe to say Jefferson would approve of a national lottery to fund the building on the wall. We could have fun with it. Call it the Power Wall Lottery. Those who voted for the wall can help ensure its construction by participating and some of them will become instant millionaires as a result! It’s a pretty sweet deal. Now you may be thinking, $20 billion is a hell of a lot of money, could a lottery really generate that? It make take a while, but it’s entirely possible. According to stats compiled by the North American Association of State and Provincial Lotteries, last year the combined proceeds of state-run lotteries in California ($1.59B), New York ($3.3B), Texas ($1.39B), Florida ($1.7B), Georgia ($1.1B) and Maryland ($1B) add up to over $10B. That’s half the cost of the wall right there and that’s just six states. Imagine how much more a national lottery could generate. And imagine how great it would feel to take the power away from purse-string-clutchers in Washington! Only one question remains, who will be the first MAGA Millionaire?!

UPDATE:

Our dearest Comrades over at the People’s Cube agree with our brilliant idea!