The year is 1995 and you have spare cash burning a hole in your pocket because eBay and Craigslist don’t exist yet. You could spend it on upgrades for your Dodge Spirit, but you recently heard about some pretty boss cellular telephone technology out there, and you want in. Not to mention, chicks will dig it. You flip through the yellow pages and find the nearest “CellularOne” store. “Ugh, 40 miles away, awful” you think to yourself. Nevertheless you hop in your Dodge with a paper map in hand, pop in your Paperboy CD, and you do the Ditty all the way to the cellular telephone store.

You walk in like you are a big shot, and say “I want to put a telephone in my car” (Gasp!). The employee responds with some basic questions to make sure you are able to handle such a serious endeavor.

– Do you have a working cigarette lighter in your vehicle?

– Is this for emergency use only?

– Can you really afford a 20 cents per minute?

– Do you have a safe place to hide this when you park your car?

– Is your ego big enough to handle being part of “The Digital Network”?

– Can you lift 10 lbs?

You pass the test, slap down the cash, and end up taking home the latest and greatest communication technology. Sure you still have a cord going from the phone to the bag, but you are the coolest guy on the block. You’re such a trend setter. The world is officially your oyster.