With the recent popularity of the comparison between PLs and Religions (reddit, slashdot), I thought it'd be mildly amusing to see what other comparisons were out there on the intarweb.

Here's the list for the meme that I collected of If Programming Languages were ...

Probably others that I missed. (Note: There's probably material in here to offend all). (Personally, I think the obvious missing comparison is If Programming Languages Were Tools. I nominate Assembler as the Stick, being the most primitive).