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Also he's a master detective who you should be proud of, you asshole.

It also turns out that you could be the father of hundreds of children. Banks will tell you that there's a limit to the number of kids that can be born from your donations (12 in my case), and while most reputable banks will stick to this, there are plenty of unscrupulous ones that will happily dole out your sperm to anyone who asks. And that's where the implications can get truly horrifying. Suppose the bank uses your sperm to impregnate 30 different women. Many of those women will likely live in the same general area, and give birth within a few years of each other. They may not be overly eager to tell your offspring that terrible pornography was part of their conception process. Congratulations! You've uncorked up to 15 potential cases of "accidental incest" into the world.

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The problem is that many banks rely on college students who are desperate for a quick buck, and they have in no way thought through what fathering a stranger's child actually means. They're just thinking in terms of the paycheck, not a lifelong decision.

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"I just name 'em after the things I bought with my pay. The one at the back is Fleshlight."

After all, even if the 21-year-old version of you is OK with it, that doesn't mean that future spouses will be. You'll soon come to the realization that in the interest of full disclosure to a potential girlfriend, you'll need to tell her that you used to be a sperm donor. Sure, you can just lie and omit that part of your life, but see what happens when a kid shows up on your doorstep wanting to meet his real dad.

I've had more than one girl refuse to date me because I've donated sperm, and I can totally understand where they were coming from. Who wants to deal with that kind of drama? It's the kind of thing that guys will casually joke about with other guys, but it's actually an ethically contentious can of worms. That's not to say nobody should do it. You're giving people an amazing gift. But at the very least, you should know going in that it's a hell of a lot more complicated than just jizzing into a cup.

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For more jobs that aren't all they cracked up to be, check out The 5 Most Overrated Jobs Of All-Time and 6 Dream Jobs That Would Actually Suck.