WASHINGTON—Addressing reporters after meeting with President Obama at the White House this morning, Bernie Sanders called upon his followers to post long-winded, extremely aggressive rants on social media, according to local supporter Ryan Bailey’s interpretation of the speech. “I’d like you to go on Facebook or Twitter and harass as many people as possible with spiteful, protracted tirades,” said the Vermont senator in Bailey’s inference of the speech, which demanded that he and any other voters still committed to political revolution reply to anyone who challenged their opinion with a barrage of sharply worded displays of sanctimony and condescension, as well as any number of personal insults. “If somebody tries to get you to calm down or walk back your rhetoric, don’t hesitate to double down by questioning their intelligence and maligning their integrity before blocking them entirely. Also, if you see anybody sharing a conflicting point of view anywhere online, it is imperative that you attack them at once with a series of furious and preferably misogynistic responses.” According solely to Bailey’s own perception of the speech, Sanders then concluded his remarks by asking supporters to send a threatening email to Democratic Party officials or members of the media.

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