The release of Wolf Creek 2 today will only solidify Australia's reputation for murdering backpackers, a fact that Tourism Australia would be wise to exploit in a tie-in marketing campaign, writes Ben Pobjie.

Dear Tourism Australia,

I am writing to alert you to an exciting new opportunity in tourism promotion, which will allow you to leverage this nation's mastery of the cinematic arts while also exploiting the touristic possibilities of fear-based marketing to generate unique experiences for overseas stakeholders and etcetera.

You will no doubt be aware of the success that the South Australian Tourism Commission has had with its well-targeted campaign promoting the Barossa Valley: "The Barossa: Where Nick Cave Is Waiting For You With An Axe". This campaign attracted huge numbers of visitors to the region, intrigued by the chance to see new places and meet new people and be skinned and gutted and hung on a meat-hook.

There now exists a prime opportunity to bring that kind of homicidal tourism promotion to a national stage, with the release of the soon-to-be-classic Australian sequel Wolf Creek 2. The original Wolf Creek created a major spike in tourism revenue from adventurous and suicidal foreigners, and I believe that with the right marketing push behind it, the follow-up could make Australia a mecca for the murder-seeking international jetsetter.

The campaign will obviously revolve around the character of Mick Taylor, the hard-working serial killer at the heart of the Wolf Creek story. Tourism Australia needs to send the message to the rest of the world that Mick Taylor is the quintessential Aussie bloke: resourceful, innovative, and with a lust for the blood of innocent young people that cannot be sated. The average English backpacker, Japanese sightseer or Icelandic thrill-seeker must be convinced that wherever he or she goes in Australia, they will find a leering outdoorsman attempting to sever their spinal column.

Obviously, a blanket poster and television campaign emphasising the prevalence of blokey murderers should be disseminated across the globe, but I propose further endeavours. Why not hire a few thousand Australians - actors, models, drifters, homeless drug addicts - to dress up as Mick Taylor, and give them a roaming brief: instruct them to simply wander the countryside, and even possibly the less well-lit areas of the cities, brandishing knives and laughing unsettlingly? Word will quickly travel the world that Mick Taylor is not simply a character in a film: he is a genuine, real-life, ever-present nightmare stalking travellers wherever they go.

Is it enough to just make everyone aware of the presence of a killer, though? Obviously not: if tourists are to be attracted to this country, they have to feel that they will be in receipt of five-star treatment. Everyone likes to feel special, and so we have to ensure that all potential TA customers know that they are our number one priority: in other words, let them know that Australia is not just infested with murderers, but that it is infested with murderers who are specifically hunting tourists. Therefore, the second prong of my proposal is the strategic planting of news stories in overseas media.

These stories will relate the tale of idealistic young globetrotters who came to Australia seeking fun and excitement and found their adventure ending with a bullet to the head by the side of a deserted highway, or by being dismembered in a cave or decapitated in their hire car. In other words what we are looking to do is generate a "buzz" - give our great land a reputation as THE number one destination for brutal slaughter. Like moths to a flame, they will come.

But obviously it's not all about the promise. If people just hear that Australia is an excitingly lethal place to visit, but find that it doesn't live up to the hype, word will quickly spread. We need to make sure that our false news stories have some reality to back them up. Therefore, we need to give tourists the "full experience". Once they arrive, following the obligatory back-to-back screening of Wolf Creek 1 and 2 on the plane, they should be given the deluxe treatment. Tourism Australia employees should be deployed to accost all new arrivals, and where possible befriend them and suggest journeys to out of the way places. Other Tourism Australia employees will be tasked with creating convincing yet misleading public transport schedules, giving unreliable directions, and tampering with the fuel lines and batteries of vehicles, so as to create an authentic atmosphere of "being stranded" for the tourist: in this case, by actually stranding them.

Obviously, once the tourist is alone and terrified in the remotest parts of outback Australia, Tourism Australia's job is largely done. It will not be necessary to actually murder them. On the other hand, if the aforementioned Mick Taylor impersonators are nearby and in that kind of mood, there's no need to discourage them either - nothing spices up a holiday like a deadly game of cat and mouse.

It is in this way that we can create a real premium Wolf Creek Package that can be sold in all markets as a "taste of the real Australia". By so doing, I believe Tourism Australia can exploit the burgeoning Murder Tourism Sector and compete aggressively against other countries that may be trying to take advantage of the opportunities that massacres offer.

There is my concept, Tourism Australia. I can't wait to work with you all on pushing this through the implementation stage. My fee will be $500,000 per annum. Thank you for your time.

Ben Pobjie is a writer, comedian and poet with no journalistic qualifications whatsoever. View his full profile here.