Our Father, Who art in the White House

Do you accept Barack Obama as your Lord and Savior? Chris Rock does -- calling him our father, who art in the White House. The media does as well. The epidemic of pandering press members dropping on their knees in the customary position of worship before our president has become a pandemic. Media loved Bill Clinton, but they didn't 'intern' for the guy like they seem to for Barack. A cigar is just a cigar, but, today's press is smoking something, and it looks more and more like a Barack Obama, choom gang special blend. Note, rearranging the letters in "choom" will get you "mooch." Is there a better description of Obama, his bitter half and his entire set of hagiographic minions?

As they used to say on Monty Python, "nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more." To the media, the man can do no wrong. He is universally portrayed as successful, moderate and bipartisan, when he has not one single measureable success, is probably the most left-wing president the nation has ever elected, and has 'reached across the aisle' only to publically slap those who have dared to disagree, or beneficently allow them to do as they are told. Every utterance and ululation is treated as if it came down from Mount Ararat written on a tablet. At least the Ten Commandments made sense -- don't kill, don't sleep with your neighbor's wife. But, under Barack there seems to be only one commandment -- even if it does have sections -- everything bad is someone's else's fault, while everything good is because of him, and he needs more money and control, to solve not only the ills of the nation, but those of humanity as well. Just look at coverage of the sequester, an Obama idea designed to embarrass political opponents by forcing automatic budget cuts he thought would be so onerous to conservative values that they would fold and cancel implementation in negotiations -- allowing him to raise revenue through tax increases. To hear him tell it, reinforced by his adulatory cadre of cacophonous, keyboard-wielding media flunkies, the world will end now that the sequester has actually taken place as designed in his original plan -- 50% from defense and 50% from discretionary spending -- a 1.2% cut in total. The president has stood at the podium and basically told the public that furloughed defense workers and laid-off firefighters and policemen will now be forced to beat small children to death with uninspected meat while airplanes crash all around them and released prisoners rule the streets. To Barack and his klatch, the sequester is their realization of Armageddon, but it isn't even an actual cut in spending. It's a cut in the already scheduled increase in spending. Even with the sequester, the government will spend more this year than last. Now that it is a reality, he's changed his tune somewhat; it will hurt, but not right now "as some people have said." "Yeah"...Homer Simpson says, while rolling his eyes, "some people." In response to a political loss -- his inability to cow Republicans into cancelling spending cuts and increasing taxes with a last minute sequester fold -- Barack, has instead decided to punish America for not forcing Republican submission in response to his doomsday predictions. "Let's make this hurt," he probably muttered to himself as he called forth his closest advisors, ordering them to put his best team of men (Seal Team Six?) on its preservation for posterity. He has now ordered the release of incarcerated illegal immigrants and momentarily mothballed an aircraft carrier. Yet, his most egregious slight on the hopes and dreams of Americans, has been the cancellation of all public tours of the White House. Barack Obama apparently believes that the worst thing he can do to America and Americans is to deprive them of access to him. Here we are, wasting away in sequesterville, looking for our lost shaker of salt, and Barack thinks depriving vacationers to the capital the possibility, however miniscule, of a glimpse of him and the royal family (sometimes, they're not on vacation), is the worst he can do to all those hayseeds and clingers that make up the 50% of the nation who don't support his socialistic addiction to deficit spending and accumulated debt ($6 trillion so far). And the best thing the Republicans have done with regard to the sequester, and in fact, during Obama's entire presidency, was to do nothing. I want more of that. Don't forget, we have the Obamacare implementation this year and next, that should torture everyone. But, Barack is nothing if not a man of action... In response to publicity surrounding the recent publication of the Chief White House Calligrapher Patricia A. Blair's salary of $96,725 per year (her 2 deputies, Debra S. Brown and Richard T. Muffler earn less, at $85,953 and $94,372, respectively), our President has decided to show he is serious about spending and has now ordered all future administration communications done in calligraphy. If you watch CNN closely, you can see the sign posted in front of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, announcing the cancelation of tours is a prime example of calligraphic splendor. ...And people said he wasn't serious about managing our nation's finances. If given enough rope, Barack Obama and his lackeys will hang themselves. America picked this guy twice, and there is no working with the man. Use whatever legislative tools a minority party possesses to mitigate the Obamage, and allow the bitter angels of Barack's incompetence to become unbearably obvious. Instead, I say Back Furack in everything he does. Let him be all he can be. Now that Hugo's dead, let Barack air out his inner Chavez and keep saying and doing one idiotic thing after another. The press will back him no matter what, but the citizenry, will finally begin to wonder: is this man as big a moron as he seems to be? In time, people will see him for what he is, America's worst mistake. The worm has turned, and that is not just a reference to the ever-ambiguous Dennis Rodman's man-crush on the latest Kim (not that there's anything wrong with that). The man (Barack, not Dennis or Kim) is on course to end his presidency with an approval rating in the single digits. Opting to negotiate with this man is what Barack is fond of calling a "false choice." There are no deals to be had, and hubris, like water, seeks its own level. It is just a matter of time until Obama's self-regard eventually puts him under water with the people. He has a date with destiny. Let's not stand in his way.