Now, once we kill-off the idea of the male feminist, other than listening, reflecting, reconsidering, and not being the center of things, what is a dude’s role in feminism?

To answer that, let’s mine inspiration from the words of one of the best feminists, who was a man. An early feminist. A world-famous feminist. You know his name. Donald Trump says this guy’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more every day. That’s right! Frederick Douglass. The author, abolitionist, and early proponent of the political power of the selfie, was an ardent feminist. And as such, he often gave fervent speeches on the subject to a rapt and eager public.

In 1848, Frederick Douglass attended a convention in Seneca Falls, New York, to advocate for liberation. Although, it was thirteen years before the Civil War erupted at Fort Sumter, South Carolina, the world-famous abolitionist was not there to oppose the cause of slavery, instead he was pushing for a different form of liberation: women’s rights. The 1848 Seneca Falls Convention launched the women’s rights movement in America. And, forty years later, in 1888, when Douglass was asked to speak at the International Council of Women, he reflected on his years spent in service of the women’s movement. His service was something he wrestled with a great deal, as a man who was often called to speak about feminism and suffrage. Douglass confessed that he often wondered if a woman should be there in his place. This is a question more men should ask, and more often. By asking it, Douglass came to an important conclusion:

“Men have very little business here as speakers, anyhow; and if they come here at all they should take back benches and wrap themselves in silence. For this is an International Council, not of men, but of women, and woman should have all the say in it. This is her day in court. I do not mean to exalt the intellect of woman above man’s; but I have heard many men speak on this subject, some of them the most eloquent to be found anywhere in the country; and I believe no man, however gifted with thought and speech, can voice the wrongs and present the demands of women with the skill and effect, with the power and authority of woman herself.”

This is just as true today. And yes, I fully understand and am equally amused at the obvious irony: here I am, a man, speaking about feminism. But these little ironies can be vital to feminism. (Plus, who wants a revolution if you can’t laugh at men along the way?) However, to keep it serious as our domestic abuse crisis, women constantly tell me, or ask me, to continue to write articles about feminist concerns because –– as they point out –– men listen to men.

Right now, men need to talk to men. Especially about feminism. This emotional labor needs to be undertaken by us, rather than shift the burden of that learning and instruction to women. That would be very un-feminist. Frederick Douglass understood this. Which is why he continued speaking on feminism. But he made sure he was never the center, he acted in support.

In a gathering of women, whether it’s an online space, or IRL feminist social function, whether it’s a march, or Twitter, the primary role of men in feminism is silence, paired with active listening. First and foremost.

Now, guys, before you reflexively think to yourself: See! You’re telling men to be silent. How is that equal? Stick with me for an example of selective silence.

Imagine you rolled into a convention of people gathered to advance the future of space travel, and you see that there are a bunch of experts there, some real life astronauts, and some journalists and public intellectuals, all there to debate the future of space travel. And you’re there, with all the other people, like you, who want to see space travel happen in your lifetime. Now, if you were in that room, how much talking would you do? Not much, right? You’d want to learn all you could. You’d want to hear what the experts had to say, what promise the future held, what the public intellectuals and curmudgeonly journalists chose to argue about in practical terms. You’d want to hear the conversation at the leading edge, right? You probably would not want to hear some random dude next to you on the convention floor talk about what he thinks the future of space travel is. Now, lastly, how much do you think everyone in this room would benefit from hearing your opinion on the future of space travel?

The next time you encounter feminism, think of it like space travel. Each is something that everyone feels they understand, in theory, but yet, not all opinions are the same. And the best opinions come from the insiders. In the case of feminism, the insiders are women.

It’s pretty sad that Douglass pointed out this same male tendency that Jamilah Lemieux so dryly points out in her tweet above. Men have been trash for centuries. And so quick to give themselves credit for taking the first steps away from being trash. As Douglass deferred, he made it clear that no man can present the testimony of women with the power and authority of a woman herself. This will never change.

To say “Believe women” is logically obvious. Who better than a woman can tell her story? From his speech, in 1888, when Frederick Douglass spoke before the International Council of Women, the world-famous orator with the good hair, declared the liberty of women sacrosanct and indistinguishable from men’s liberty.

“When a great truth once gets abroad in the world, no power on earth can imprison it, or prescribe its limits, or suppress it. It is bound to go on till it becomes the thought of the world. Such a truth is woman’s right to equal liberty with man. She was born with it. It was hers before she comprehended it. It is inscribed upon all the powers and faculties of her soul, and no custom, law or usage can ever destroy it.”

Men today need to recognize this truth. We must stop advancing the lie women are not our equals. It is an abhorrent lie. A contaminating falsehood. A single drop of ink in a glass of fresh spring water. It fouls everything.

If you wish to argue that men are naturally stronger, bigger, and more dominant than women, I will present you ten men bigger and stronger than you, and ask if they are your superiors. If you wish to push the fallacy that men are smarter, wiser, or somehow more ethical than women, I have the whole of human history to prove the wrongness of each of those statements.

There is no empirical way to prove women are not equal to men. Just as there is no scientific way to determine the sex of a person by looking at their brain. In case you haven’t heard, there is no distinguishable male or female brain. Our brains exhibit our biological equality. Meanwhile, feminism labors to correct our cultural error. It aims to fix the historic bias that suggests one half of the population is somehow dominant. This inherited lie is the world’s oldest and longest con.