The Easiest Way to Make Friends As an Adult

When we were children, making friends was simple because all it required was to be seated next to someone you could tolerate more than the other children. But as we grow up and escape our awkward teenage years, we discover it’s not that simple to make friends as an adult.

When we have to balance between our work schedule, our children, our errands, and our Netflix time, making friends on the side can seem impossible.

This is especially true when you adopted a secluded lifestyle where you’re reluctant to leave your house or drive anywhere. And yet, we still have that craving desire to have friends and escape that sense of loneliness we suffer from.

So just how can you find friends once we reach that mature point in our lives?

The Art of Becoming A Regular

When you think about it, children and teenagers have it quite easy compared to adults. As children, they can become friends with someone they sat next to in class. I remember back when I was in school, it was naturally easy to make friends with someone if you needed help with your homework.

But why do children have it easier than us towards that area?

Well it’s not only children, but nearly anyone who’s in an environment where they are required to sit next to someone for several hours a day for over a year. It’s the process of forcing a continuous interaction with someone, which builds into a trust you just don’t build with anyone you see on the streets.

Even if you’re constantly around someone who makes you angry, you’ll feel more compatible with that person rather than some random guy if you had a choose a person to go to another country with. When you see someone for an extended period of time, this builds familiarity and makes you subconsciously trust that person more than the average Joe.

The more someone sees your face, hears your voice, and observe your personality, the more they feel relaxed to be near you. It’s why the longer you see someone at work or school, the more you begin accepting their weird traits and features.

This rule also applies to the rule of attraction. A person may not see another person as being physically attractive at first approach, but overtime as they see that person’s good traits, suddenly gain a strange attraction for them. Which is why you’ll find an average looking person with one of the sexiest people you’ve ever seen.

This is also why shy students in class eventually become the class clown once everyone becomes comfortable with him. But since we’re not in school anymore, it does get a little more complicated when you want friends.

Rather than depending on where you want to sit at in class, we have to find other areas to go to instead. So let’s break down the type of places we can choose from:

For Drinkers

If you enjoy drinking, find a nearby bar that isn’t too far from your home. With a bar, you can meet the regulars who go there and eventually build a conversation with them through small chats.

That’s how I met a few people. I’ve learned whenever I visited another state or country, people were always friendly to open up to you. The longer you attend the same pub, the easier it gets to speak to the same woman or man you constantly see there.

For Smokers

If you’re a smoker, find areas that has smokers and dwell there. Smokers are often friendly with one another, and it’s easy speaking to them about your life once you spend a few minutes with them. They normally enjoy discussing about their problems at work, relationship issues, or random questions that pop into their heads.

For Gym Lovers

But let’s say you enjoy working out and want to meet others who do the same. I normally like to stay to myself while I’m at the gym, but you can’t help but notice the same people who usually show up and do the same exercises. You probably won’t say anything to them at first, but as you begin doing exercises that require two or more people, it gets easier to become a part of their lives.

An example is when I was playing volleyball with a few friends, there were a few other people I recognized who wanted to join. But lets say you’re alone at the gym. Try becoming someone’s spotter if you see them struggling with their weights. Join a class at the gym and give sarcastic remarks with someone who’s near you.

While I attended a fitness class, there was a guy who sat next to me who kept commenting about random things he thought about. He wouldn’t stop showing me funny memes and videos he saw on his Facebook wall.

Although it annoyed me at first, I got use to it and suddenly felt more trustworthy towards him. What’s ironic is that although a stranger can annoy you at first when they speak to you, the more they keep a cool attitude and positive spirit, the more they lower your shield.

This happened to me so many times it’s funny. I’ve been annoyed by random people sitting next to me who wanted to start a conversation, but the more they continued, the more I became comfortable towards them. It even came to a point where I was somewhat dependent on their positive spirit to keep myself from feeling lonely.

So the next time you’re sitting next to someone, don’t be afraid to annoy them. Sure, you might bother them at first because you are some random stranger who’s speaking to them. But the more you reveal who you are to them, the more they latch onto you as a possible companion. You no longer become that random annoying stranger, and now a possible sidekick.

For Clubbers

The next place you can become a regular at is a club. Something I discovered is that the more you attend the same club, the easier it is to spot the same people who shows up there. And chances are they recognize you too.

Spot those people and try opening up to them. If you’re a man, speak to other men and talk about the hottest women in the club and who you want to talk to. If you’re a woman, find other women who’s being hit on by drunk guys and laugh about the situation together.

It’s like finding your wing-man/woman and enjoying the night together. Don’t concentrate on trying to get laid or drunk. Concentrate in the moment and think about what you can do together that will make the night awesome.

Back when I attended a club, I met a group of guys who were discussing about the lack of women there. The debate caught my attention and I couldn’t help but butt-in to hear their funny inputs. Although I was quiet for most of the conversation, they did ask for my opinion and I gave it. Before I knew it, I was completely pulled into their conversation and acquired a few new friends that night.

If you’re alone at a club, you’d be surprised how easy it is to become part of a group of people. Try to aim for the same gender if possible. This makes you more comfortable and you feel less pressured because you’re not concentrating on being rejected or putting up a fake front.

For Church Attendees

If you attend a local church, find people who’s in your situation and open up to them. People who attend churches are usually quite open and friendly to engage in a conversation with.

They usually like to discuss about their faith, what brought them to that church or God, and what they do on their spare time. And usually during any church session, the Preacher encourage others to speak with one another to break their shyness.

Some of the best ways to make friends is joining church groups and communities that bring people together. What’s great is that during those sessions, people lower their guards and show their vulnerabilities to one another. They tell you if they’re depressed, dealing with anxiety, and anything else they’re struggling with. And the more you share your most intimate thoughts with someone, the more you find yourself bonding with them.

This is how I made a few great friends after attending a few Bible group meetings. You get to understand how other people struggle and they’re less likely to put up a shield because they’re just looking for someone who understands them too.

For those who enjoy volunteering

Volunteering is a great way to meet people regularly. Whether you want to help animals, homeless people, or the environment, find a local activity you can do with others. Check out Volunteermatch if you want to find something that fits your needs.

The more you volunteer at the same event, the more you speak to the same people and get accustomed to the way they behave. And besides getting that wonderful feeling that you’re helping the world, you increase your chances of making a friend.

One of my closest friends had volunteered at a dog shelter, and although he was shy at first, he found it easier to speak to other people who went there after his 3rd session.

For Workers

Work is perhaps the most likely place to find a friend at. You’re there already so you don’t have to worry about searching for a place to go. If you work in an environment that has a variety of people in the same situation as you, it’s easier to engage with them on a daily basis. Prevent yourself from being shy and eat with those you work with. Visit their office or work area and share any funny thoughts you have.

That way, you give yourself the chance to hear their thoughts and see what they have in common with you. And friendships from work usually don’t happen overnight. They occur from those small daily conversations you have with someone in between breaks. They occur when the staff gets together to complain about the boss, share their funny jokes, and talk about their passions.

And oftentimes, you don’t even see yourself being friends with someone until you’re at an office holiday party and you find yourself speaking to that person the most.

In final thoughts,

I’m aware I didn’t hit every event in the world because there’s people who enjoy hiking, adventures, video games, and too many other hobbies for me to list. But I wanted to give an awareness of just how easy it can be to find people who’s into the same things you are.

Your only goal is to motivate yourself to go to those events as much as possible so you can find the same people who go there too. If you see the same group of people who go to the same coffee shop as you every morning, try bringing up small chats with them to see what’s in their mind.

Unlike the time we were children who just wanted to graduate, there’s nothing really forcing us into that many social situations. So that’s where the element of willpower comes into play. And if you still find yourself procrastinating because you don’t want to leave your home, find ways to force yourself to get out.

For example, you can sign up for a mandatory meeting that you paid money to attend. You can go straight to those events right after work so you won’t be persuaded to stay at home.

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