DPD’s Gang/Intelligence Unit compiled a list of what officers need to know when dealing with the “fanatical followers” of Insane Clown Posse

Back in 2010, Deputy Chris Pratt of Denver Police’s Gang/Intelligence Unit got fed up with his department’s lack of operational knowledge regarding the threat posed by the vicious street gang known as “Juggalos.” After what must have been ten, maybe fifteen minutes of intensive Googling, Pratt put together a guide on the “fanatical followers” of Insane Clown Posse.

And now, thanks a public records request by journalist Steve Miller, you too can know what it means to be “down with the clown.”

Miller is one of the foremost ICP experts, literally writing the book on the subject. In addition to diving into the cultural phenomenon, Juggalo: Insane Clown Posse and the World They Made explores the overhyped threat law enforcement portrayed them as.

So who are the Juggalos? After a brief history lesson …

Pratt tackles the question of how to identify a Juggalo, which is more difficult than you might expect. For starters, you’re looking for a Goth Vanilla Ice …

who’s either a teen or pushing middle age …

who’s either from the suburbs or “running amok” in the inner city …

and who can’t congregate in any large numbers without “problematic” things happening.

Juggalos hate racism but love crime …

which makes them a gang …

that is also a cult …

that is also a non-denominational religion.

Not unlike an edgy ’90s reboot of Unitarian Universalism.

Having now clearly established himself an expert in the field of Juggaloism, Pratt then provides a glossary of useful words and phrases …

which includes the rather impressive claim that ICP created Faygo, the iconic beverage associated with the band. According to its own label, the drink was established 110 years ago.

While you could chalk that up to faulty research, you have to admit that if there were such things as immortal soda sorcerers, it stands to reason they’d have their own murderous gang-cult.

Wrapping things up, Pratt provides an insightful definition of “bowling ball,”

pads things out with a couple pages of MySpace photos,

and finally lists the references he used to cobble together this seminal work of police literature - that last one should stand out.

To save you the trouble of opening a separate incognito window, we’ve been to Juggalo Holocaust, and it’s pretty much what you expected, even if you didn’t know what to expect.

Looks like Pratt and the FBI need to have a long chat about the danger of believing everything you find online.

Read the full report embedded below, or on the request page, and learn more about the fraught history of Juggalos and law enforcement in Miller’s book.

Image by Jared eberhardt via Flickr and licensed under Creative Commons BY-SA 2.0.