It’s finally everyone’s favorite holiday: New Year’s Eve! Visions of alcohol, quests for someone to kiss at midnight, alcohol, people who are obnoxiously, aimlessly hyped about midnight, and more alcohol should be dancing through your head right about now. Are you psyched yet? Or are you just plain nauseated?

Let’s face it, New Year’s can be more anxiety producing than a public speaking event. If the approach of New Year’s doesn’t quite fill you with gleeful anticipation of donning something glittery and dancing the night away, comedy duo Jessie Jolles and Tracy Soren have created the perfect video for you.

The video takes us on a tour of a familiar New Year’s house party scene and shows us what New Year’s would honestly look like—if you could read everyone’s thoughts.

Some would be trivial (“Is every girl here wearing something from Express?”), others soberingly ethical (“Cheap New Year’s Eve necklaces are made by teenage children that were taken from their families and forced into terrible working conditions.”), and many would be hilariously self-deprecating (“Did I make the year count? Watching 263 episodes [of Frasier] is not a waste of a year.”).

Soren and Jolles are also the team behind the funny and heartfelt webseries DIBS. You can watch more of their quirky and insightful videos on their Youtube channel.

Screenshot via Soren and Jolles/YouTube