Nicholas Monu/istock

By "what it's supposed to do," AF assumes that you're already aware of the body of scientific proof that melting ice vastly increases penis size while effectively delaying the male orgasm and that you're asking instead about its more prosaic usage — the reasons for which, says Tad Wilkes, editor of Nightclub & Bar magazine, are twain: "One is that it's cheaper than using urinal cakes or deodorant pads that would have to be replaced regularly. The second is that when guests urinate on the ice, it cools the urine and reduces the odor. And you can always send a barback in there with another scoop of ice if you don't have any toilet cakes left."

Mrs. Fella prefers to eliminate the middleman and dump the ice directly into AF's skivvies.

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