Back in mid-March we picked up a new bright tank from Ladyface Brewery as part of our brewery expansion. It was named “Tax Determination Tank #2”. We needed to fill it with our 2nd year anniversary ale, but as you may know, all tanks at the brewery must be named after ladies in German drinking songs (or at the very least a ladies name) – otherwise it is bad luck.

But…



Renaming a fermentor is not a simple task. First all traces of the old fermentor name have to be removed from our records. Second, the old fermentor name needs to be purged from existence. And lastly, the fermentor needs to be renamed and christened in preparation for the beer.

We were sure to perform this procedure at night while we were closed. If one false word was uttered, things could go very wrong – Indiana Jones and the Ark of the Covenant opening wrong.

First step was to remove all traces of the old name from our records. This included deleting the name from our fermentation gantt chart.

Then removing the name from our fermentation control panel.

And finally erasing of the name on the bright tank itself.

Fog began to roll across the brewery as we prepared our final speech to remove the last of the old name. Captain Chris’ bosun’s whistle rang clear through the night.

And on cue, Brie delivered a speech that will long be remembered for those few brewery personnel there on that foggy night.

Oh mighty ruler of the fermented fruits of the barley, to whom all men and machines who venture upon your vast domain are required to pay homage, implore you in your graciousness to expunge for all time from your records and recollection the name “Tax Determination Tank #2” which has ceased to be an entity in your kingdom. As proof thereof, we submit this burning symbol of this vessel’s previous name.

Pause was given to light the last symbol of the old tank aflame to burn into embers atop the trench drain.

As the flames died down, Brie started up again.

We give thanks to Ladyface Ale Company who served with this beautiful vessel in the past and kept her clean and free from the horrors of beer stone and mineral deposits. May the purging of this name from the ledgers of the deep bring forth a new beginning for this glorious vessel and a bright future for her new deployment as a bright tank in the Enegren Brewing Company.

And with the old tank name purged from existence – it was time to rename the tank. First we carefully applied her name.

And then, with all the usual pomp and circumstance with a new tank we began the christening.

Dear Lord, We ask you for your blessing of this bright tank. May her glycol jackets cool efficiently, her ports seal tightly and her gauges read true. May all brewers who serve on her go unharmed by the perils of craft beer and may you bless this glorious vessel and give her the strength to carry the Enegren Brewing Company onward and upward.

And so, after the breaking of the beer bottle on our new tank Heidi, she now embarks on her continuing mission to brew new beers and boldly go where no fermentor has gone before.

Tags: Anniversary, Beer, brewing, Expansion, Fermentor