Is Barack Obama the Vladimir Lenin of American Presidents? No, Lenin was competent in an evil sort of way. Obama is more like Leonid Brezhnev: an ultra left-wing, belligerent doofus who isn't laughed at by the general population primarily because the mainstream media liberals say nice things about him out of fear that they'll end up in a gulag if they're too harsh. Of course, we don't have gulags, but reporters who criticize Obama would be snubbed by their peers at cocktail parties in Manhattan and Old Town, which seems almost as bad to liberals. This is how a narcissist who scores at "Nixon after Watergate" on the presidential likability scale can be perceived by much of the public as a long suffering, bipartisan nice guy. The real picture is less Van Gogh and is more Andy Warhol, if Andy Warhol were a five year old coloring with cow dung crayons.

1) Obama NEVER stops campaigning: Barack Obama almost seems disinterested in actually governing the country. Apparently the only thing he does passably well is campaign; so he has just decided to do that. His agenda, from Obamacare, to free birth control, to amnesty for illegals has nothing to do with the country's immediate problems and everything to do with politics. This is a big part of the reason that Washington has become even more nonfunctional than usual under Obama -- because he ALWAYS acts as if there's an election next week and winning it by trying to make the GOP look bad is his first priority.

2) What he says is completely unrelated to what he does: Barack Obama is like an alcoholic who pledges to quit drinking and then gets hammered every night. Afterwards, his doting family full of enablers (played by the part of the mainstream media) pats him on the back and talks about what a great example he is for other people because he pledged to quit drinking. This is how Barack Obama can demand a sequester and then turn around and run against it or yammer on incessantly about transparency while he stonewalls on Fast and Furious. We're talking about a man who's worth nearly 10 million dollars, who has campaign events with celebrities and millionaires on a regular basis, and who just seems to squeeze in a little bit of work in between lavish vacations and golf outings with Tiger Woods; yet he spent most of last year campaigning against rich people. This is almost like listening to Bill Maher complain about loud mouth know-nothings who regularly say incredibly stupid things just for shock value.

3) He works overtime to pit Americans against each other: Barack Obama's entire campaign strategy -- and don't forget, he's always campaigning -- is based on convincing different groups of Americans to hate each other. He tries to convince black and Hispanic Americans that Republicans hate them for their skin color, gays that Republicans hate them for their sexuality, women that the GOP is pro-rape, poor people that the rich are taking all their money, people who've had children killed that gun owners are in favor of their children dying -- it just goes on and on. There have been campaigns of genocide across the world that have featured less vitriolic rhetoric against the people who were murdered than Barack Obama and Company have engaged in since he became President. Then they turn around and wonder why Republicans in Congress have trouble working with them. Go figure.

4) His hypocrisy on bipartisanship never ends: Politics is a brass-knuckled street fight in a phone booth and if you want a friend in Washington, get a dog or alternately, if you're Robert Menendez, you hire an underage Dominican prostitute. What's so frustrating about Barack Obama is that he's as much of a diehard partisan as Rachel Maddow or Chris Matthews, but he never stops yapping about the importance of bipartisanship. This is a man who has done everything short of screaming, "Screw you, Republicans," over and over at the State of the Union and yet he keeps claiming other people put "party before country." It would be nice if he ever put his country before his party. Once. Ever. In his entire presidency. But, we're still waiting.

5) He's such a liar: Calling a politician a liar is a little bit like calling the Occupy Movement lazy and violent. It just sort of goes with the territory. But, even in a profession known for lying, Obama is the “lyingest” liar ever to spew lies out of his lie hole because he is allowed to get away with it. Obama's coverage by the press is like that movie, The Invention Of Lying, where the main character is the first person on the planet to ever figure out how to lie and everyone simply takes whatever he says at face value. In this case, the part of "everyone" is played by the mainstream media which starts with the uncritical assumption that Obama is always right, good, and truthful, while the people who disagree with him are mean, partisan liars. Obama could sacrifice a child to Satan at a press conference tomorrow, get ripped for it by Republicans, and the headlines would read, "Republicans Accuse The President Of Child Murder. Have They No Shame?" Afterwards, Obama would blame the child sacrifice on Bush and we’d have weeks of “Republicans and Satan team up to wage war on children” stories in the media.