Exploiting the Children of Strangers



You understand that if you post stuff like this, you’re an asshole, right? That someone basically took a stock photo of a REAL deformed/injured baby and added a bunch of lies to the bottom (like I just did with the above image in MS Paint)? You know that Facebook isn’t giving anyone a fucking dime, don’t you? And did you know if you took, like, five seconds to use Google you could have found this out for yourself?



Promoting Fear Campaigns



Again, do your goddamn research. If you want to hate Pop Tarts for valid reasons like the fact that they’re disgusting and over-processed and don’t even remotely resemble a traditional tart, more power to you. But don’t go spreading nonsensical bullshit that has absolutely no basis in reality.

Misquoting Dead Hollywood Starlets



As much as you would like to believe that Marilyn Monroe was constantly spouting nuggets of truth to justify the actions of crazy bitches, you are mistaken. Marilyn Monroe may have embraced her nuttiness, but she was also fucking a president and knew how to keep her goddamn trap shut. You should try it sometime, after you stop posting these nonsense memes.

Memes that Inspire Me…to Kill Myself

Your Facebook wall should never look like the drab, beige walls of a call center manager’s office. I’m all for inspiration and uplifting crap but I’d also like to make it through the day without throwing up in my mouth if you don’t mind.

Asinine Shit Masquerading As Real News



For every idiot article like this that you share, I demand you share at lease three articles of relevance. Politics. Economics. Human rights. Science. Technology. Something that actually makes a difference in the world. This kind of shit is not what journalism was supposed to be about. Then again, neither was making up arbitrary lists about shit that pisses you off on Facebook.

This Stupid Fucking Candle



Much like the deformed baby, you are doing nothing for any cause whatsoever by sharing a stock picture of a cylindrical bit of wax that someone has lit on fire. There are millions of ways you can help the causes you hold dear, and if you’re not doing any of those things, then stop sharing this kind of shit to make everyone think you are. It takes effort to give back to the world, and that effort goes beyond the scope of clicking a link.