AP

Feel guilty about how much you ate over the holidays? Donna Simpson doesn’t. And trust us — she put you to shame.

Simpson, a New Jersey woman, scarfed down a 30,000 calorie Christmas dinner, one that consisted of (among other things) two hams, two turkeys, a 10-pound roast and five loaves of bread. Merry Christmas, indeed!

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What compelled this mother-of-two to gobble down in such copious quantities? Why, only the nobelest of goals – to become the fattest woman on the planet. Simpson says she won’t stop eating until she hits her thousand-pound target weight. (She’s currently at 600 lbs.) Not only that, she’s turned obesity into a career. The U.K.’s Sunday Mirror reports Simpson supports herself through public appearances and a website where people can watch her eat. (No, NewsFeed refuses to link to that.)

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“People who feel guilty about eating are hilarious,” Simpson told the paper. Simpson already owns the world’s record for the largest mother to ever give birth. (via CBS News)