What we have here appears to be a slide show presentation of prospective members of KDR at Virginia Commonwealth University. “Pledge bitches” is a 17-slide PowerPoint wherein 16 potential new members are presented with their photo and a few bullet points about them, including their go-to pickup lines. If these slides accurately portray the potential quality in this 2014 fall pledge class, KDR is about to put motherfuckers on notice.

Here’s the anonymous tip we received:

KDR at Virginia Commonwealth, VCU, left up their bid day presentation in a classroom, it’s gotten passed around the whole campus. They colonized on campus this time last year. Extreme Rookie mistake. Enjoy.

Below is the slide show. All names and faces have been scrubbed to conceal their identities. Except for Joe. Because fuck Joe.

You’ll soon realize that Brad is the coolest member of this fraternity, likely by a mile. Guy puts the whole damn chapter on his back.

He has that rare “cool nerd” vibe. Bid.

This kid just really blew it.

Fuck you, Joe.

How is this kid an auto bid? Show me some fucking stats. Oooooh he wore handcuffs around two chicks this one time at a Cops and Robbers party. Let’s roll out the red carpet for this Casanova. Bitch, please.

“Huge boner”

Can they initiate this kid straight into exec? Holy shit. Tie him to the front porch and wait for the campus dimes to swarm.

Oh yeah? Do you really like community service? Idiot. No bid.

Brad has his work cut out for him this semester.