I have come to realise that the only show other than Doctor Who that I am currently watching is Outlander. Seeing as I have nothing else to review, I thought I would take advantage of this other time-travelling show and start writing about it now that it has only just begun again.

That said, I love Outlander as much as I love Doctor Who, but with the latter I have years of practise reviewing it, while Outlander has always been a show I would sit back and relax watching, so my approach to it is going to be different. That means I am going to recap it the way I do with Game of Thrones: by merely stating every thought that comes to my head while I am watching it. I hope you enjoy finding we have alike minds or discovering something I saw and you didn’t (or vice versa). Je suis prest!

——————

-Thank God for “Previously“s. All I remembered was that they were in the States and that adult Fergus was cute.

-I want an Outlander theme song sung by these prehistoric dudes.

-Will Claire one day travel to Stonehenge? It seems only fit.

-It wouldn’t be Outlander without someone in danger of being imminently executed.

-I am sorry but I don’t remember Hayes. Jamie has had too many Scottish sidekicks, and the only one worth remembering is Murtaugh (oh please, where is he?)

-Jamie is so gorgeous. I hadn’t forgotten that.

-Also, to all the people complaining about how they haven’t physically aged the main couple: Sam Heughan is 38 years old now, pretending to be 46, so not that far from his real age. Why did no one complain when he was playing a 23-year-old version of Jamie (trust me, I didn’t complain, I totally bought it). Heughan is going to look exactly like that when he is 46, even if he now went to fight a war. So shut it.

-Downton Abbey (that’s what I will call him now) looks suspicious.

-I should point out right now that I haven’t read the books. I say this because it feels like they’ve hired Downton because this is an important character that will be recurring. Right?

-Even Hayes knows he is an unimportant supporting character.

-Like, I don’t know who the guy with Fergus is (Fergus is adorable). I feel like I should have rewatched the season 3 finale before watching this…

-Having Sam Heughan smiling at you as the very last thing you see before you die sounds like a pretty nice way to go, if you ask me.

-I did NOT need a close-up of the dead guy.

-Of course Downton was going to run away. And it had a Pirates of the Caribbean vibe, I don’t know why.

-Don’t you love how the show keeps changing the style of the intro music depending on where in the world the season/episode is set?

-Now that I see those 60s moments in the intro: I can’t wait for the return of Brianna and Roger.

-Does Jamie have family and friends literally everywhere in the world?

-For a second there, I thought everyone in the pub was American and were going to start a fight with them for singing in Gaelic.

-Also, they begin with a pretty good harmony, but by the end everyone sounds a bit drunk. As it should be.

-This grave digging reminds me of this episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend where Rebecca and Paula dig out graves to find out how many corpses there are.

-Damn, I just remembered Geillis. Creepy woman.

-This must be the only show I have ever seen dealing with male rape PTSD. Such a well-written and well-acted scene.

-THAT episode from season 1 came back to me with this scene, and now I can’t unsee it. Again.

-Ah, there is Downton again.

-Just the way he talks about Hayes makes him suspicious. I’m not liking this.

-Jamie, don’t agree. Don’t take him anywhere. His eyes look so eviiiiiiiiil (that is some good acting, to look evil when you are actually saying kind words).

-Oh, Jamie, you kind-hearted idiot. He is going to try to kill you on the road or something.

-I wouldn’t be so silent if I got stabbed in the leg.

-Ok, they didn’t stab him. Makes more sense.

-I don’t like this conversation Downton is having with Claire. I predict this is going to come bite her in the ass.

-And he is looking very lustily at her. It’s creeping me out.

-“Thank you sir.” He looks sneaky.

-And now he is telling them to be careful of thieves. Are his friends waiting somewhere nearby to attack them?

-Don’t stay in the woods! Downton’s friends will kill you!

-Oh, forget it. It was only sexytime hour. This is Outlander and we are 29 minutes in, after all.

-Wait, Caitriona’s wig in the night scenes didn’t have any grey hairs, but this one in the morning does. I’m confused.

-“A dream for some can be a nightmare for others.” Preach.

-What is this Lillington dinner? Has it been explained but I didn’t pay attention?

-Are Claire’s dress and Jamie’s vest cut from the same piece of fabric?

-This dinner scene is a bit boring, mostly because I don’t know any of these people. Is John Grey going to show up this season? Or is he stuck in the Caribbean? He’d make this dinner more interesting.

-I mean, I get we are only seeing this to show that Claire is going to get that guy to buy the ruby. Still, zzzzz.

-I’m curious about this aunt no one has ever talked about before -because there are too many MacKenzies in the world to know them all.

-Of course Jamie is going to be offered lots of lands just because. He is so handsome that you can’t help but hand him everything you have.

-Also, we need an excuse to stay in the US.

-By the way, I know the landscapes are gorgeous. And I also know this is actually filmed in Scotland, so in a way, my sadness because they are not in Scotland anymore is mitigated by the fact that they are in Scotland.

-Jamie, you are so good-looking, yet so dumb some times. Claire is telling you that in eight years, you are going to lose all those lands because the Brits will lose the war. Nothing you do is going to directly affect Brianna two hundred years later.

-Also, I don’t trust the Governor who offered him the land. I don’t trust anyone we are meeting in this episode for the first time.

-DOG!!!!

-I’m not even paying attention to what they are saying. DOG!!!!

-Ian would not want to go back to Scotland even if they made him king. That much is clear.

-Ohh, I just remembered, by the look between Claire and Marsali, that last season Marsali didn’t want to get pregnant right away.

-That seems like the most dangerous place ever to have a baby. Especially if the Frasers are around. It’s like having Jessica Fletcher pay you a visit. You know there is going to be a murder.

-Aunt Jocasta, the Black Widow. She is already my hero and we still haven’t met her.

-Pfff, I did not like Claire trying to be the black man’s saviour. She should ask before she speaks, she tends to do this a lot.

-Look at the dog, being fed by his owner!

-That speech about wanting to give Claire lots of things, and Claire saying she has everything she needs…It sounds ominous. I’m scared.

-I like Ray Charles, but I don’t like Ray Charles being used here. Too modern. This isn’t Peaky Blinders.

-Argh! Downton!! I knew it!!!!

-His face looks disgusting now. It’s like you can finally see his true soul.

-Jamie, no! He obviously punched you so that you go outside and get kicked by everyone else!

-Wait, I forgot to ask, is the dog okay? Is he still in the water?

-Those punches can’t hurt his perfect pecs.

-Why is Claire so nervous? I’m sure she’s been through worse.

-Ugh Downton just took all the gems.

-Nooo, Downton killed whatshisname!!!

-Why does he want those rings so much? Frank’s is a simple gold ring, not that big, and Jamie’s is some regular metal.

-Oh my, is she going to have to poo the rings?

-Nope, she didn’t swallow fast enough.

-I hope Downton dies soon.

-Claire, you have literally been to World War II. I’m sure that was worse.

-But WHERE IS THE DOG?