We are joined today by the Cliché Expert, Mr. Skip Arbuthnot, to discuss the impending release of Apple’s highly anticipated new tablet computer.

Q—You are an expert in the clichés of digital technology, is that correct?

A—You betcha. I’ve been called a tech guru, an information wizard, and a pontiff of pixels. ;-).

Q—What do you expect from the Tablet?

A—The industry buzz has been unprecedented. It looks as though it’s going to be a game-changer, a bellwether, without peer or category. It’s clearly pushing the envelope and will offer us a new paradigm. Apple is going further outside the box than they ever have before.

Q—Can you confirm that the new product will in fact be called “the Tablet”?

A—I can neither confirm nor deny that it will be called the Tablet. Sources tell me that it may ultimately be revealed as the iTablet, the eTablet, the Slate, the iSlate, the eSlate, the iPad, the iFlat, or the PancakE.

Q—What kinds of features do you expect to see on the device?

A—It will be completely intuitive and seamlessly integrated. I’m talking bells and whistles we’ve never imagined. A killer app. A whole new usability experience. It’s going to redefine the genre.

Q—How do you think it will affect the computer industry?

A—It’s a watershed moment that will separate the wheat from the chaff and the men from the boys.

Q—Will the Tablet save magazines and newspapers?

A—The future is digital, my friend. The upside is incredible. You have to adapt or die, lead or get out of the way. Old media powers must constantly reinvent themselves. But only time will tell how all of this is going to shake out.

Q—There are concerns that consumers might not be willing to embrace the Tablet.

A—If you ask me, Apple is going to find a way to make it viral, the status purchase du jour. You’ll want to be the first on your block to own one and you won’t leave home without it.

Q—What does this new product say about Apple?

A—It reflects the company’s commitment to cutting-edge design and elegant technology solutions. They’re the eight-hundred-pound gorilla in the room. They’re streets ahead of their competition and they have both the ground game and air attack to take on anyone.

Q—How will the Tablet ultimately rate in the history of digital technology?

A—In my opinion: somewhere between the invention of the wheel and the best thing since sliced bread.

(With thanks to Kilian Schalk.)