Since my last thread, I am no longer contemplating adoption. I want to be in this child's life, make a difference, make their life better than my situation with my parents. A couple weeks ago me and my ex talked, it got a little ugly. I was expecting her to beg me to work things out with her, but she was still against it and made no mention of the option. This frustrated me a little, because I am better than her and it just bewilders me to no end. Everyone I talk to says how much better I could do, not even directly, people say this stuff to my friends or family members and I hear it through them. She is hott and all, but just a know it all, feminist bytch type (terrible screening on my part). Anyways, I sent her a pretty f'd up text that night, basically saying that its her loss, in way more words of course, but I ended it with "good luck". Turns out she took this as me telling her that I am not going to be there for the kid. In her defense, yes I did say that, and I can see how she took it that way.



Since then, I have gotten into the right frame on mind. New job that I love, jiu jitsu, doing awesome in school, and just all around happier without her in my life. I have realized that she was a poison to my soul and I was not living to the level of potential that I am capable of.



Well, after 3 weeks of silence, she texts me saying we need to talk. I call her, and she tells me some pretty unsettling things. First, she basically tells me in so many words that she is going to have the kid during the weekday and I can have him whatever weekend I want, or every other. Well, we live 10 mins away from each other, so I went on to tell her hell no. I refuse to be a part time dad. Then she says that she is planning on keeping the childs last name as hers rather than mine. WTF, hell no # 2.



I mean, yeah I understand she was worried and thought I wasn't planning on being around, and after I explained myself logically, she said well you are going to have to prove to me that you are going to do what you say you will. It is a privilage for the last name to be yours. I go on to say that this is the equivalent of me asking for a paternity test, but worse. That this makes me feel like a f'n sperm donor, and I am not gonna take it. I told her I could apply the same scenario to her, that I do not know that she will be a fit parent, due to her being a heavy drinker that could one day be an alcoholic. How do I know she will be a good parent? Her answer: whatever. This is all after her accusing me of being emotional, when I spoke to her calmly the entire time, never raised my voice, all the while having her scream at me the majority of the conversation. Typical.



You know the worst part, I feel like there is nothing I can do. She will call the shots because she is the woman and courts favor them no matter what. I mentioned that maybe I should have sole custody, and she laughed, saying yeah right, good luck with that.



Honestly, I just don't get it. Why would she want this kid everyday? Why wouldn't you want to split the time down the middle? Is it because she knows I want it and that she has the ability to not let me have something I desire? Wrap it up guys, my best advice. And if you see a bunch of red flags early, trust your gut, it won't lie. My instincts told me to stay away from this bytch EARLY, and for some reason, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me. It could happen to you!



Sorry for the rant, didn't mean it to turn out like that, just a little pissed at the moment. I really need to figure out my rights as a father.