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"There's a culture in the capitol: you get drivers, you get a staff, you get an office, and you're instantly gifted with a lot of money from your campaign and your 'officeholder' account. ... It's like being some sort of weird celebrity. Not to mention the 'Secret Ticket Phone Line' for the legislator and their staffers." What she's referring to there is a dedicated line for politicians to request tickets to NBA games, etc., a line that, incidentally, is run by British Petroleum. Don't worry -- the law doesn't consider it bribery. The law barely considers anything to be bribery, in fact. But more on that later.

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After all, never having to pay for things out of your own pocket is far from the only perk that separates these people from the rest of us. Career politicians can go decades without driving their own cars, for example -- to the point that they eventually forget how. "When [California] Governor Gray Davis was ousted, the CHP and his security detail had to teach him how to drive again, and how to pump his own gas, all before he left office. There's a hidden DMV inside the state capitol. It's unmarked, and it has screwy hours, and technically anyone in the public can go to it, but good luck going in. So they don't even have to stand in line at the DMV."