Oh, Killian Jones….from the moment I set eyes on you, I knew it was all over for me.

Seriously. I started watching Once Upon A Time in Season Two. I’d heard about it, of course, but Sunday night wasn’t really prime TV-watching time in my house and while Once seemed interesting in premise, I just hadn’t gotten around to watching it.

That particular evening, I was flipping through channels, looking for something to put on as background noise while I wrote, when I happened upon an episode of Once Upon A Time, and it was just beginning.

That episode was “Tallahassee,” and I was introduced to a pirate with the bluest damn eyes I’ve ever seen and snarky, sarcastic smile, devilish brow and perfect Shakespearean enunciation that made me (the girl with the Theatre degree) decidedly squirmy as I sat there on the couch. I was…you guessed it…HOOKED.

I bought Season One on DVD the very next day, devoured it in one weekend, and haven’t missed an episode since. And ever since that fateful episode, I’ve seen so many sides of my favorite captain, it’s hard to pick which I love most. For instance, there’s:

Lieutenant Killian Jones

Oh, the heart-stopping, endearingly fresh-faced lieutenant before the slings and arrows of fate turned him into a pirate. His selflessness, his love for his brother, his loyalty…his lack of eyeliner…I just love it all. I found myself using the phrase “Good Form” in regular conversation after his introduction.

Villainous Hook

I have never before gotten thoroughly aroused by watching a man hold a woman at gunpoint. Damn, Belle. How did you not just lean in a little?

Flirty Hook

Oh, how to pick just one flirty pic. The man drips sex off his long, swooshy eyelashes.

Snarky Hook

Everybody loves a sassy pirate, and Hook has sarcasm down to an art.

Smoldering Hook

Oh, the smolder. The smolder. God help my steaming underwear the smolder.

O-Face Hook

Watching Killian smolder can only lead to…other thoughts. And here, in this scene, he gives what I like to call his O-face, right around the 1:27 mark, Nnnnnnnnn.

Funny Hook

Oh, Killian, you make me laugh. He gets some of the best lines. They made him eat bologna! And he rather fancies Emma when she’s not yelling at him. Killian’s always good for a chuckle, and you can count on a dwarf (and be sure to draw that word out) to deter him from any malfeasance.

Drunken Hook

Who can forget the Rolly Joger? Or that wonderfully loopy smile that turned to utter confusion as he punched himself in the face? Or the woeful way he looked when Tinkerbell called him on his nonsense? All I know is I want to toss back some rum and caress that hook.

Tortured Hook

Oh, the heartache this man has gone through. First he loses his love, loses his hand, gets stuck on an island with a teenager sporting a god complex for centuries, then he finds a new love, loses her, wins her and loses her again. If he weren’t so devilishly handsome, it would suck to be Killian Jones.

Steamy, Wet Hook

Just imagine that in the shower, ladies. Rawr.

Romantic Hook

Killian is always one for making the grand, romantic gesture. And when he danced with Emma at her very first royal ball, ovaries exploded all over the realm.

And speaking of ovaries….how about….

Papa Hook

After watching him with young Baelfire, and then Henry, tell me you weren’t picturing a blue-eyed baby in a black leather onesie.

Admiring Hook

Don’t forget, Killian got to clap eyes on Emma for the first time not once, not twice, but three times! And each time, it’s clear he was blown away. Oh baby. Find me a man who looks at me like that.

Endearing Hook

And while we’re on the subject, how adorable was Bumbling Killian in that finale? Am I right? Sooooo freaking cute.

Knocked out/Grimacing/Hitting The Floor Hook

There were entirely too many pics of this. Really, the man should be drooling and have some short-term memory loss after all the hits he’s taken. I’ll just direct you to this excellent compilation:

Bromance Hook

Don’t worry guys, Killian’s got your back. And he’s got your daughter. Or your ex.

Cuddly Hook

And we love those cuddles, oh yes, we do.

Kissable Hook

I couldn’t pick my favorite shot of him locking lips with Emma, so I went with the very first time. Still so hot. So very, very hot.

Heroic Hook

Whether he’s turning pirate in order to overthrow an evil king, following you into a vortex, sword fighting the entire royal guard so you can find your mother, or saving your father’s life on a godforsaken island, the man is a hero through and through.

Happy Hook

Oh, come on. Look at him. Just look at him.

Devilishly Handsome Hook

Yeah, I know. When is he not?

And finally…..Hook In Love

Gah! The feels!

So tell me all you Hookers and Captain Swan shippers….who’s your favorite Hook?