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Always an effortlessly arrogant middle finger to the rest of Australia, Sydney has once again decided quarantine rules are not for them as many of the city’s bars have seen an increase in patronage.



Once a party spot as red hot as the nostrils of the crims and corrupt coppers that ruled the streets, Sydney bade farewell to their nightlife when new lockout laws were rolled out at the same time TV streaming and home delivery got a fuckton more convenient.



It appears now that during the midst of a global pandemic wherein the only current cure is for those who can stay at home to do so, Sydney’s CBD bars and clubs are hosting numbers not seen at the venues since Queensland went 8/8.



The cause of the crowds seems to largely be due to cleaning crews who have moved in to give these venues the much-needed scrub that patrons are usually to coked up to notice.



“This place was famous for having Sydney’s best rooftop bar and smelliest staircase,” said essential worker and pub patron Lola Nixon (55).



“I don’t know how they expect me to get these stains out of these carpeted stairs. The filth has been beaten into them like the casual racism of Syd U law students sucking down $3.50 beers on a Tuesday.”