Bustling cities, verdant forests, snow-capped peaks, azure oceans and unusually buff inhabitants who keep getting naked: Westeros has everything the intrepid traveller could wish for

Explore the Seven Kingdoms

Westeros's culture and history, ancient wonders and, above all, its generous, welcoming people – not to mention the enticing fluidity of its current political hierarchy – make it an attractive destination for invaders, sorry visitors, of all tastes. Indeed, many never leave! (Though admittedly it's hard to go anywhere with your head on a stake.) Take a journey into Westeros, and prepare to have your breath literally taken away

King's Landing

King's Landing

Rocked by conflict, home to half a million residents, and the teeming hub of Westeros' political machine, the capital city could never be called dull. With picturesque views across the narrow sea, King's Landing's balmy climes support a "vibrant" cultural scene. Recently party to several major political upheavals – the backstabbing of "mad king" Aerys II Targaryen, the death of his successor King Robert on a boar hunt, the execution of former Hand Ned Stark, the coronation of the great King Joffrey and his subsequent victory against Stannis Baratheon at the Battle of the Blackwater – there is much for the daring traveller to enjoy.

Sightseeing Take a trip to the Royal Gardens, crammed with court spies hiding in the topiary, or take in the wealth of local architecture, much of it dating to the reign of the usurped Targaryen royal family. Utter anything mildly critical of the king and you may even get a glimpse of the fabled Iron Throne itself, constructed from the swords of the defeated enemies of Aegon The Dragon, first Targaryen conquerer of the Seven Kingdoms. Before having your head cut off.

Things to do The city's bustling markets are full of exotic wares and foods from around the world; visit Fleabottom to try the local dish: bowl o' brown. Jousting contests of abnormally high mortality rates are enjoyed regularly by locals. Salt-of-the-earth ale houses offer a warm hearth and warmer beer, and Lord Baylish's exclusive pleasure emporiums are also extremely welcoming to to moneyed travellers.

Watch out for Becoming embroiled in a jousting contest, getting stabbed in the face in an ale house, or contracting VD in an exclusive pleasure emporium. Travel to King's Landing is also not advised if you have even the slightest inkling you might be one of Robert Baratheon's innumerable bastards.



Local celebrities Keep an eye out for members of the Lannister family, the Kardashians of King's Landing. There's fearsome Hand of the King Tywin Lannister; Queen Regent Cersei Lannister; diminutive Master of Coin and new husband to Lady Sansa, Tyrion Lannister (AKA The Imp); and the handsome, one-handed kingslayer, Jaime Lannister. Then of course there's Joffrey, the Aryan boy-King himself. (Tip: publicly noting the King's uncanny resemblance to his uncle is a good way to see what the inside of your neck looks like from a basket).

The Iron Islands

The Iron Islands

Situated off the west coast of Westeros, these seven rocky islands, battered by high seas and storm winds, may not be the first locale that springs to mind when planning a holiday. Their barren lands, slight natural resources, unforgiving climate and confusing currency (visitors are often forced to pay the "iron price") may deter many from visiting at all. But appearances are deceptive, and visitors to the islands will discover a rich seam of delights.

Culture Renowned as rough-hewn people of the sea, Iron Islanders historically relied on pillaging sorties to the mainland for their resources. This practice continues intermittently today, and in Pyke, the Islands' population centre, shops continue to sell the sailors' recently liberated plunder. You might just find a bargain, or even the perfect gift for that special someone, and most vendors are happy to wipe off any blood at the point of sale.

Things to do The local ceremony of imbibing libations and then mocking those brought to the islands as prisoners and slaves remains popular and isn't to be missed. As the best viewing spots are limited in number, booking early is advised.

Need to know Slavery is rife on the island, as is the possibility of waking up after a night on the local sauce to discover that you're now on a ship manned by cut-throat pirates. Societal norms regarding how friendly a brother and sister are permitted to become are also largely ignored. Talk of Lord Theon Greyjoy's whereabouts, too, is heavily discouraged. Once renowned throughout the islands for his impressive manhood, Theon's recently detached appendage is now the property of the local museum.

The Twins

The Twins

Twin castles with identical keeps situated at either end of a bridge across the River Trident, this is the only crossing for hundreds of miles in either direction, and is therefore a great place to immerse yourself in the vibrant array of cultures and banners travelling between south and north (or to hear the superstitious ramblings of cowards fleeing the mythical "White Walkers").

Culture It's well worth trying to snag an invite to any wedding taking place at the time of your visit, as these are famed for their opulence, the breadth of their feasts, their music, and occasional bloodbaths.

Need to know Lord of the castle Waldur Frey famously reacts quite poorly to broken agreements, so don't make any promises you can't keep. By "quite poorly" we mean he'll happily order his dour-faced lieutentants to slaughter you and everyone you know while he watches on smiling, goblet of mead in hand.

Things to doThe Twins is a great place if you're looking for love and hoping to meet an eligible maid or bachelor. Lord Frey is joined in residence by an abundance of sons, daughters and grandchildren, and while not renowned for their dazzling looks or vibrant personalities, Frey family members do tend to come with a decent dowry. Just don't promise to marry one of them and then break it off; the severed heads of Catelyn, Robb and Talisa Stark on the castle gates ought to serve as a suitable deterrent.

Dragonstone

Dragonstone

Perched atop the island of the same name in Blackwater Bay, just a few days' sail from King's Landing, Dragonstone castle's unique Valyrian design and 500-year history make it a must-see for any traveller wishing to get a fuller picture of Westeros' rich cultural heritage.

Culture Visitors may wish to learn more about the local people's unorthodox worship of R'hllor the God of Light by indulging in the practices of this flourishing religion. It's considered polite to bring your own leeches and sacrificial knives.

Local celebritiesDragonstone is presided over by Stannis Baratheon, heir-apparent to the Iron Throne, who recently suffered a resounding defeat when attempting to seize King's Landing at the Battle of Blackwater. Discussion on this subject is discouraged. Residents also tell of a mysterious Red Woman who communicates almost solely through nudity and coitus, which, according to our correspondent, was "brilliant". He's dead now, though.

Further afield

For the more intrepid traveller, a brief sojourn across the crystalline narrow sea will yield lands of rolling deserts, bountiful cities and an intoxicating mixture of temperate climates, enchanting mysticism and lenient approaches to horse consumption and the ownership of wealth, dragons and people.

Culture The desert-wandering tribes of the Dothraki, ruled by warrior kings known as Khal, are united in their enthusiasm for violence, horses, misogyny and abundant application of guyliner. In contrast, to the south lie several beautiful, wealthy, cosmopolitan cities built on trade, largely free of the oppressive influence of the Iron Throne. Beware, however, the kind of "sorcerers" who turn naive young visitors into eunuchs. Lord Varys was never the same after his trip to Myr.

Sightseeing The port city of Qarth to the east is ruled by its merchants and warlocks, many of whom were killed in a recent conflagration with Daenaerys Targaryen and her dragons. Look out for the warlocks' tell-tale bald heads and cold, covetous eyes when visiting the House of the Undying. Far to the south lies Slaver's Bay, an arid clutch of cities whose economies depend on the use and sale of slaves. Many of these have recently been liberated by Targaryen, allowing guilt-free enjoyment of the area's beaches and amenities. Hello, paradise.

Watch out for Dragons. Massive, fire-breathing dragons.

North of The Wall

North of The Wall

There is no vista in Westeros to rival the view from the top of The Wall, famed for instilling an awe-inspiring sense of insignificance. To the south lie rolling green pastures and bared breasts as far as the eye can see; to the north, the jagged peaks, eerie forests and glacial endlessness of the wilderness. Beyond The Wall lies adventure for any traveller willing to look; indeed, many visitors become so enamoured by the desolate beauty north of The Wall they are never seen or heard from again.

Things to doThe men of the Night's Watch agree that urinating from the top of The Wall is the greatest thing it's possible to do. Though it's worth remembering these men are all celibate.

Local people Besides Night's Watch expeditions, you may encounter settlements of natives known as Wildlings (who, charmingly, pronounce "snow" as "sneugh"), some of whom are affiliated to the avuncular Mance Rayder, the self-proclaimed "king beyond The Wall". Intrepid explorers may even catch a brief glimpse of a mythical White Walker, in that brief instant before their face is pulled off like a bad magician's tablecloth.

Places to avoid

Winterfell Once home to the Stark family and proud capital of the North, Winterfell has seen a decline of late. Sieged by Ironborn soldiers, its people were evicted or killed before the town was razed to the ground. Travellers may struggle to find acceptable accommodation.

The Eyrie Perched atop one of Westeros' tallest peaks, visitors will enjoy spectacular views of The Vale – but, due to a quaint judicial system, this will probably be from within one of the keep's famed Sky Cells. Travellers have complained of the citadel going to seed under the quirky stewardship of Lady Lysa, Regent of The Vale, who has an uncomfortably close relationship with her teenage son.

Season four of Game Of Thrones starts in the UK on Sun, 2am, Sky Atlantic