Here's the thrice-divorced Newt, talking to the Christian Broadcasting Network on why he's become the fundie favorite.

GINGRICH: I think the two key appeals are passion -- I think they instinctively can tell that I care so deeply of this country and the future of their children and grandchildren -- and second, I think the sense that I understand that there's a war against religion, and that I'm prepared...to actually fight back for the first in their lifetime and take on the judiciary when it's overreaching and when it's trying to drive God out of life.

Let's be clear about something up front. When Newt talks about a "War Against Religion" he means "A War Against Conservative Christians." Because I'm quite sure he's not talking about Muslims or Wiccans or Unitarians or Reformed Jews -- or any other faith that the fundies hate.

Anyway, I know Evangelicals love to see themselves as some sort of oppressed minority, but Republicans -- who constantly beg for their votes -- have held the White House for 19 of the past 31 years. Just where are all these secular atheist Jesus-hating judges coming from?

Not to mention that the ultimate judiciary, the Supreme Court, is dominated by Republican-appointed Roman Catholics.

But what's this "for the first time in their lifetime" stuff? Did Ronald Reagan and the Bushes not "fight back" against all those secular atheist Jesus-hating judges that Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton surely appointed?

Shorter Newt: I'm more Jesus-y than George W. Bush.