Secret of My Excess

Oh come on now Studio B….it’s one thing to integrate fan made characters into your roster as an acknowledgment of your popularity, but you don’t have to get cocky with it now.

Secret of My Excess is without a doubt the most blatant exercise in snide arrogance the series has seen thus far.

And I absolutely bloody loved it.

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Spikes greed accelerates his growth and he becomes a giant monstrous dragon with chronic kleptomania. A fantastic and easy metaphor that uses total over-exaggeration for the sake of entertainment value.

Pretty simple.

Ok wow he’s starting to get bigger and bigger…cool it’s nice to see him with a new design template. Oh his voice is changing, that’s awkwardly familiar.

“Spike is changing! I don’t know what to do….”

Ok yeah he’s changing…you’d better not be going where I think you’re going with this…

“Doctor! What’s happening to me?! I’m different that before!”

Oh no…Oh no you fucking don’t. MLP is NOT going to talk to us about that. No. Don’t you fucking dare!

“My body is changing!”

You goddamn bastards you are aren’t you? ABORT! ABORT! Impending disaster! Not necessary! Can only end badly! It’s going to be THIS all over again….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JDWKQzgob8

“We’ll Miss Sparkle…..it seems to me that the problem with Spike is….”

Oh god it is. Here it comes! Just kill me now and get it over with!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFhqNNfNKR4

“He’s a dragon!”

…….wait what?

Boom. From that point on, not even so much as a fucking GLANCE in that direction. It’s all giant monster rampage explody-smashy-waHEY.

Oh you dirty little S.O.B’s…..you dangled that rotten carrot right in my face…made me taste it…let it’s stench accumulate in my nose…then yanked it away and gave me a delicious banana fritter instead. You delightfully evil cretins!

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But oh it came close. DANGEROUSLY close. Hell, it could even be argued that the rest of the episode is just Spike fighting off hormones. That is the bad, tasteless, and completely blunt method of lesson-learning that has earned modern children’s television a whole goddamn truckload of hatred. Not making stupid decisions like that is one of the reasons this show is as good as it is, but they were basically almost there already…if they were teetering any further on the edge they might as well leap right off, plummeting to the ground holding a little “oh no” sign like Wile-E-Coyote.

But just at the last second….right as they were a hair away from the point of no return….the brakes were SLAMMED on and the vehicle was pointed in another direction in the nick of time to avoid any horribly clichéd educational session about what happens to our bodies as we mature.

They saved it. They pressed a gun to their own forehead. Pulled the trigger. And managed to fucking dodge it.

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The rest of the episode, we are treated to a popcorn munching good time as we kick back and enjoy a full blown King Kong re-enactment, complete with an awesome new design scheme on the ponyverse dragon.

I really do feel like Studio B was jumping up and down going…..

“Look at us! Check out what we can get away with! Gonna talk about puberty now! Your body is changing and its hard when you grow up and you’re gonna act differently and PSYCHE haha no do you really think we are that stupid? Haha enjoy a King Kong reference and some unexpected depth in a little exposed character. Why King Kong? Because we CAN!”

Even if they weren’t just flipping everyone else off around them(once again, I’m probably getting a bit carried away), you’ve gotta admit that it’s kinda cool to see the storyline take a complete 180 degree turn in the opposite direction just before it performs a swan dive into a shark tank.

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Do a little research into the lore from any mythology featuring them, and you’ll find that dragons are chronic hoarders. Food, jewels, weapons, virgins, etc….their dens are never empty. So it was nice to see that fact used as an excuse to re-enforce Spikes greed problem.

Just goes to show that all the little touches are still in play, even this far into the series. I also really enjoyed the acknowledgment of Spikes affections for Rarity.

So now she knows. Will it change anything? No probably not. If anything it’s a get out of jail free card to bury that whole subplot for the rest of the season.

Also…the Wonderbolts are capable of…..FAILURE?! Who knew?

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Ok I can’t really think of anything else to say about this episode right now. I’m doing my best but all I can really think about is how close it came to total disaster. Not even all the dragons in Equestria could match the damage done by that one simple episode plotline.

So I’ll just leave you with this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWUB4LjEWCg

Hate me for it later.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juFZh92MUOY&feature=related