I never owned a Tamagotchi keychain pet in the 90's because I'm not a girl and I was born with absolutely zero nurturing instincts. But maybe you did have one. And maybe now you want to rekindle that feeling of a new pet dying every day and piss away your phone battery at the same time. Enter the Tamagotchi L.i.f.e. Android app from Bandai and Sync Beats Entertainment. It's a Tamagotchi keychain, but on your phone. Truthfully, I can't even believe I'm writing about it because it's 80-degrees outside and my body is begging me to finish work so I can go get a beer on a patio somewhere. I let myself down a LOT, but not when it comes to keeping drinking promises. That's like, one thing I'm good at. "Wow, such a triumph of the human spirit." I can't tell if you're being facetious or not but I also don't care because it's Friday and I am OUT OF HERE, SUCKERS. *slams laptop, waits a few minutes, then slowly reopens and keeps working* I hate the sun anyways. "But what about the beer?" The beer! *smashes laptop over knee, dives out window*

Hit the jump for a video.

Thanks to Rosa, who asked me if I wanted to hear the names of all her Tamagotchi pets but I graciously declined and now I'm kind of regretting it. *sigh* What might have been.