Joffrey Baratheon

Has there ever been a TV character more despicable than Joffrey Baratheon? Great villains come and go, but it takes a special kind of hatred to inspire a 10-minute YouTube compilation of a character being slapped. As the current king of Westeros, the sadistic boy treats his realm like a toy box, indiscriminately smashing the lives of his subjects out of malice and boredom. "The North Remembers" finds King Joffrey celebrating his name day with his favorite pastimes: torture and bloodshed. Since his true parents are Queen Cersei and her brother Jaime, Joffrey has no legitimate claim to the iron throne. But as Queen Cersei's chillingly reminds Littlefinger, power is power, and all it takes to be a king is enough strength to make people treat you like a king. But Cersei's mantra may come back to haunt her. If power is power, she's given far too much of it to Joffrey, who singlehandedly declared war on the Starks by beheading Ned, and who threatens to have her killed in last night's episode. It's hard to send your bratty teenager to his room when he's sitting on a throne made of swords, and Cersei may live (or die) to regret the Frankincest monster she and Jaime created.

Stannis Baratheon

Though frequently referenced, Stannis Baratheon—King Robert's younger brother, and by rights the true heir to the throne—didn't appear in Game of Thrones' first season. As it turns out, Stannis has a severe case of middle-child syndrome; his petty whining about Robert, the elder brother who didn't love him, and Renly, the younger brother who also claims the throne, is decidedly un-kingly. Stannis' chief asset, and perhaps chief threat, is a red-draped sorceress named Melisandre, who has managed to seduce him metaphorically (if not literally). As Melisandre burns the statues of Stannis' old gods in "The North Remembers," she goads him into drawing a flaming sword called "Lightbringer." It's an empty symbol of an empty leader. "The night is dark and full of terrors," Melisandre ominously chants. She may well turn out to be one of those terrors by the time the season ends.

Robb Stark

Ned Stark's eldest son and the "King in the North," Robb is the closest thing we have left to a hero. He's undefeated on the battlefield so far, and he carries a particularly shiny prize: Jaime Lannister, the legendary Kingslayer. Robb has proved a savvier player than his father, but he defies mother Catelyn's advice for the first time in "The North Remembers" by seeking a truce with Ned's former enemy, Balon Greyjoy. The message will be delivered by Theon Greyjoy, whose position as the Stark family's longtime "ward" (a gentler word for "hostage") makes him a wild card in the game of thrones; he declared loyalty to Robb with the rest of his bannermen, but he's shown a more reckless and occasionally crueler side. Given the string of betrayals the Starks suffered in season one, it's hard not to be wary that Theon will seize the opportunity to avenge his family's dishonor (as the old saying goes: If you want a friend in Westeros, get a direwolf). But Robb is also the only king smart enough to realize that he can't win the iron throne without an ally, sending Catelyn to broker an alliance with Renly Baratheon that would split the kingdom between the two. Robb's three victories are, as he notes, far better than three defeats; he's grown into the canny leader that even his father couldn't be. If Westeros was a democracy, I'd be voting a Stark ticket.