Late-night hosts break down the “revelation” that the FBI looked into whether Trump was working on behalf of Russia.

Stephen Colbert

On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert lived a day in the internet news cycle, toggling between the latest drops in the Russia investigation and the viral video of a gymnastics floor routine.

First, the news: the New York Times reported over the weekend that the FBI, after Trump fired James Comey, looked into whether the president was secretly working for Russia.

“I think that’s ridiculous – there’s nothing secret about it,” Colbert joked.

The FBI also looked into whether Trump knowingly worked for Russia or had “unwittingly fallen under Moscow’s influence”, according to the Times. “OK, there’s a little something from the smile file,” Colbert said. “Our president might not be spying for Russia. He might be their unwitting stooge. We’ll find out on the new gameshow: Evil or Stupid.”

“Welcome to Evil or Stupid,” Colbert continued in the guise of a gameshow host. “Either way, America wins the destruction of Nato, the end of western democracy as we know it and a lifetime supply of Russian influence. Plus, a Broyhill dinette set.”

What could relieve this depressing news? A video of the UCLA gymnast Katelyn Ohashi’s flawless floor routine, of course.

A 🔟 isn't enough for this floor routine by @katelyn_ohashi. 🔥 pic.twitter.com/pqUzl7AlUA — UCLA Gymnastics (@uclagymnastics) January 13, 2019

“Where were we?” Colbert asked, getting back on message. “Oh right, historic treason.”

Seth Meyers

At Late Night, Seth Meyers marveled that maybe the revelation that the FBI looked into Trump as a Russian agent isn’t actually a revelation at all.

“Wow, the FBI was investigating whether Trump was working for the Russians,” he said. “I mean, what tipped them off? Was it Trump’s secret meeting with the Russians in the White House? His son’s secret meeting with the Russians in Trump Tower? His lawyer’s secret deal to build a Trump Tower in Moscow?”

Meyers continued in rapid fire as images of past and present advisers flitted across the screen. “Jeff Sessions’ secret meeting with the Russian ambassador? Jared Kushner’s secret backchannel with the Kremlin? Michael Flynn’s secret backchannel with the Kremlin? Erik Prince’s secret backchannel with the Kremlin?”

Or could the tipping point be “the Russian hackers who helped Trump win? Trump asking the Russian hackers to help him win? Or Vladimir Putin’s smile every time he sees Trump?”

In the end, we don’t know, Meyers said, nor do we know what Trump did with notes of his clandestine meetings with Putin. However, Meyers pointed out, we do know that former aide Omarosa Manigault has alleged that she witnessed Trump try to destroy evidence by eating a piece of paper in the Oval Office.

“And if you forgot that the president was accused of eating paper by his own aide,” Meyers said, “take note of the fact that we are living through a presidency where that insane fact might actually qualify as forgettable.”

For every other president, such behavior would be top on the list of “craziest fucking things,” Meyers noted, “but for Trash Can Jones over here, it doesn’t even crack the top 100”.

Trevor Noah

And on the Daily Show, Trevor Noah also reacted to this weekend’s Trump-Russia news, but with hefty dose of skepticism. The notion that Donald Trump was purposefully working on behalf of Russia “is crazy”, Noah said, “not because he wouldn’t do it, but because Donald Trump would be the world’s worst spy. No one would hire him. He can’t be a spy – he doesn’t even have an inside voice.”

Spies are also known for blending in, Noah added, and “if there’s one thing Trump doesn’t do it’s blend in. Red tie, orange skin, blond hair – the only place he’d blend in is in a jar of Starbursts.”

Noah may not buy that Trump is a spy, but he is interested in the notes Trump allegedly destroyed from his meetings with Putin. “What did he say to Putin that was so bad that he couldn’t let anyone else see it?” Noah asked. “Like maybe Trump said, ‘I love you,’ and then Putin replied ‘Thank you.’ In which case, I’m with Trump – you can never let that get out.”