(And, yes, I’ve chosen to show this excerpt for a reason. And, for the more rabid of our readership, please note this piece is not up for editing or rewriting. Thanks. — W)

EXT. VILLAGE - NIGHT

The village of MURDENU, as denoted by the wooden signpost hammered into the dirt track in front of an INN. Under it, a sign points left for GRESIT (15m) and right for TÂRGOVISTE (70m).

SUPER

TWO WEEKS LATER

It’s a cloudy night, no stars or moon. The only lights in the shot come from the lamps burning in the windows of the inn, from which we hear:

BOSHA (O.S)

So I said to him, it’s my goat, I’ve been tending goats since I was four years old –

INT. INN - NIGHT

And TREVOR BELMONT, the last of the legendary vampire hunters, sitting alone in the back of the drinking-house, wrapped in a heavy cloak and nursing a flagon of watery beer while, at the bar counter, BOSHA, a burly middle-aged farmer, blusters at KOB, a narrow man still wearing a blacksmith’s apron. The INNKEEPER is trying hard not to listen.



…Right, right. KOB…Right, right. BOSHA

– and I’d know if my goat was in love with you. KOB

For God’s sake. BOSHA

And he says to me, I know your goat is in love with me. KOB

So you said “how?”, Bosha? BOSHA

So I said, “how?” And he says, well, she fucks me, doesn’t she?

Bosha pauses to down his beer.

KOB

And that’s when you hit him.

Bosha clumps the beer pot down on the bar.

BOSHA

Right across the eyes with a shovel. And now the headman says I have to pay the bastard money because he went blind.