If it were up to me, Ozzy Osbourne would never be knighted. Not because he doesn’t deserve it. Because asking him to sit still for fifteen seconds while someone else who also tremors quite a bit puts a sharp blade near his ears seems ill-advised. Hasn’t Ozzy suffered enough as it is?

But not everyone sees it this way! Kerrang! reports this 2014 petition to have the Ozzman knighted has come back for reasons unknown. It’s seeking 5,000 signatures; as of this writing, it has 3,851, and is still growing (it picked up twenty signatures literally just since I sat down to write this post).

That might seem encouraging… but the 2014 version of the petition had more than 6,000 votes, and it still went ignored. So you can sign the petition if you so please, but don’t get too excited about Sir Ozzy Osbourne anytime soon.

And, hey, that might bum you out. The British Royal Family only recently admitted an African-American divorcée. They’re making progress, slowly but surely. Give ’em some more time on knighting a man who admits he has tasted other people’s urine.