The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

You read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance when you were like fourteen and pretended to understand it. You're really cheap and live in a crappy apartment way far out because it's only like 500 bucks a month. You are a perpetual student who is always broke and you are always eating hummus. You don't drink much and sometimes you ask your friends if they want to go for tea on a Friday night and they look at you weird and kind of annoyed. You absolutely do not own a TV, but you watched a few episodes of Downton Abbey on your old, breaking-down computer and declared it "OK." You're nice and always there for your friends to talk to but sometimes your friends feel like you're not really listening. You went to Vietnam one summer in college and you haven't stopped talking about it. One of the few things on the wall in your sparse apartment is a menu from a restaurant in Hanoi. Your friends look at it and think it's weird that there was ever a time you went to restaurants.

Hotel Chevalier (short, 2007)

You are a diehard Natalie Portman fan, to the exclusion of anything else. In whispers, people refer to you as pretentious, but you know that's because they're just jealous.

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

You live in the confines of your own imagination, where animals with perfectly combed hair exist in a diorama-like world. As a kid, you believed animals could talk; you wish that could be the case, though it has not yet been proved in scientific circles. You do feel strongly that you are able to communicate with your cat, and you really don't need anyone else's commentary on that, nope, not in the slightest. You own at least one item with a bird on it, as well as an across-the-shoulder bag and Toms shoes. Occasionally you wear organic deodorant, but you're not quite sure it works, and yet, you're not quite sure you care. Sometimes in the middle of the night you wake up and go into the bathroom and just stare at yourself in the mirror under the florescent glow and you wonder if you have it deep inside you to do something really good, if push came to shove. As a kid, you loved puppet shows and Chuck-E-Cheese. As an adult, burlesques and drinking from flasks and sneaking into the next movie for free after you've seen the first.

Moonrise Kingdom (2012; in theaters Friday)

You are a movie critic and/or managed to get yourself in on a screening. You have connections! Yay, you. But for the civilians, if this ends up being your favorite Wes Anderson movie, you probably go on Etsy a lot and live in a cozy apartment in a quiet neighborhood. You tutor or nanny but not that much. The secret to your lifestyle is that you're from a wealthy family, that's why you're always able to take a couple nice trips each year -- to Paris, to Argentina, to Morocco once which you loved. You don't have any pets because they're messy but you love other people's pets. Sometimes you feel like you'd rather talk to dogs than people. You'll probably end up moving to the Berkshires someday and owning a lot of wind chimes. As a kid you spent a month on an island in Maine and you met a boy and you shared your first kisses and the boy made you promise to never tell, and you never did.

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