Dog poop, chicken wings, hugging a television screen, and an MSNBC anchor in her pajamas. Last night I watched an hour of Al Roker's attempt to break the world record for longest live television weather report, and something's definitely broken, but it isn't the record.

Al Roker, famous weathercaster for NBC's Today Show and The Weather Channel's Wake Up With Al, is attempting to shatter the current world record of a 24-hour continuous live weather report. He's aiming for 34 hours because of an unofficial record of 33 hours set by someone in Norway.

Aside from the record and publicity this brings Today Show, Roker's stated goal is to raise money for the USO.

The Rokerthon, as NBC has dubbed it, began at 10:05 PM Eastern on Wednesday, and it should wrap up at 8:05 AM on Friday. I tuned into the broadcast a few minutes before 11:30 PM Eastern and forced myself to watch an entire hour of the stream on today.com. Keeping in mind the rules in place for Roker to break the world record (all weather all the time, no digressing), I figured it would be interesting to see if Roker was able to stick to the weather.

Nope!

Instead of something informative, it is everything I secretly hoped it would be. One cannot do the Rokerthon justice by trying to weave into a tight narrative all of the events that transpired over that one short hour. Like a sleep deprived granny who can't see over the wheel, the Rokerthon is all over the place and on the verge of plunging off a cliff. If you missed the broadcast between 11:30 and 12:30 last night—for shame!—here's what you missed:

"Ah, yes. Chicken wings are just like the weather. They are! They come in mild, medium, and hot."

Al did a terrible impression of Doc Brown finding out Ronald Reagan was president.

"My mother's maiden name is Smith! They call her Schmitty. We'll get to the weather in Vermont in a second."

Al recited from memory a list of the actors from Back to the Future, again mentioning how good the movie was.

With a Canadian accent, he did a moose call and talked about Bob and Doug McKenzie.

Al kept mispronouncing the name of Kuujjuaq, Quebec, each time pronouncing it more comically incorrect than the last. "It's cold in Kujutjutjitiutijtijijitjtjuttttjtjjtj[chatters teeth]!"

Al came across a Tweet from "BryceSlutz2002" (a five-year-old) and asked what happened to that guy in school to make him create the screenname "BryceSlutz2002." Bryce was quick to answer that Slutz is his last name, which was given to him five years ago, because he is five.

Al hugged his television screen and did the Homer Simpson gargle when someone Tweeted him a picture of their barbecue dinner.

Al offered to pay someone $100 if they would drive to 30 Rock with subs from a shop in Oswego.

Al sang parts of two Lionel Richie songs (Hello and Easy, if you were wondering).

Some annoying sports anchor from WNBC popped into the shot and talked at length about the Jets and the Giants.

MSNBC anchor Tamron Hall walked into the studio in her pajamas with her two dogs and she and Al laughed for five minutes. (See top image.)

Al talked to Tamron Hall's mom over the phone and shouted "DO YOU KNOW HER DOG SOUNDS LIKE A GOOSE!?" More laughter ensued.

Al encouraged viewers to take selfies of them watching him looking at selfies of people watching him looking at selfies of people watching him looking at selfies...

Al gave us extensive details of what he's drinking. It's GT's Ginger Kombucha, and it's quite effervescent!

Did you know that the temperature in the neck of a bottle of beer drops below zero for a split second when you open it? The more you know! This was the most informative tidbit of the hour.

Al introduced us to the very uncomfortable teenage witnesses for Guinness World Records who have to watch his wacky antics.

CUUUUUUUUUCAMOOOOOOOOONGA!!!!!!! [Bugs Bunny impressions]. The physics of ACME products.

A man named Chris asked Al when it would stop being hot in south Florida. Al's response: "Hey, Chris, SHUT UP! We're freezing our tuchus off and you're complaining that it's too hot. That's like ordering a ribeye and complaining it's too beefy!"

A kid Tweeted Al a picture of him watching Al while doing his homework, and Al told him "homework is overrated. I didn't do it, and look where I am." Well, now I wish I'd done my homework.

The polar vortex, baby! Oh yeah! It's back! The sequel!

A short correction that tomorrow's low in Palm Springs, California, will not be 21°F, but rather 60°F. They apologize for the error.

Nia Vardalos, the actress best known for her starring role in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Tweeted a picture to Al and said "i'd flash you to keep you awake!" Al: "Nia Vardalos said she would flash me? Wow! Maybe we could get her on FaceTime or something."

Shortly after the hour was up, he had an extended (~3 minute) conversation with Brian Williams over the phone. We did not hear Brian Williams.

Also:

This was only the beginning! There are hours and hours left, if Al can get through it. There's a 12% chance that this attempt ends with an "In Memoriam" segment.

If you've caught any of the Rokerthon since it began, share some of your favorite moments with us below.

[Images: Today.com/NBC]

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