Jordan Crawford didn't play a second in Game 5 of the Knicks-Celtics series Wednesday, all of which made it even more glorious when he found a way to inject himself into the postgame action. We don't know exactly what he said to Carmelo Anthony, but after a close reading of this Vine, it sure looks like he said, "Dat motherf***** f****d your wife."

Afterward, Jordan Crawford played innocent. From the Boston Globe:

When asked if he said anything to Anthony, Crawford told the Globe, “Nah, they was talking to me, baby. They was talking to me. Yeah, they like me. I think it’s that smile I keep carrying. I think we’re playing freely, not thinking as much.”

Well now, that's just a bold-faced lie.

For Carmelo's part, he's downplaying everything.

"I’m not thinking about no Jordan Crawford,” he told reporters afterward. "I don’t even think he even deserves for you to be typing right now.”

When J.R. Smith was asked about Crawford and the scuffle, he described it as, "Just bickering. Acting like a bunch of schoolgirls."

When J.R. Smith is the voice of reason, you know we've lost control.

And what Crawford said is horrible, sure, but as someone who lived through Jordan Crawford on the Wizards, it's great because this is the QUINTESSENTIAL Jordan Crawford story. If he was going to be relevant in these NBA Playoffs, this was always how it was meant to happen.

Jordan Crawford is not very good at actual basketball, but he is a volcano of irrational confidence and neverending trash talk and questionable judgment. We are not expert lip readers, but the internet's interpretation of what Crawford said postgame makes sense because yeah, of course Jordan Crawford would be the one to bring up Carmelo's wife.

(Point of fact: KG never seriously alleged that he slept with Carmelo's wife, right? He was talking trash, allegedly, about his wife. But it's hard to believe either KG or Carmelo ever thought the taunts were literal. Jordan Crawford, though? There's a decent chance Jamal Jordan Crawford is the only person outside of the Worldstar comment section who thinks KG actually slept with Carmelo's wife.) (PS: WORLDSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR)

The fire in this series was already going strong after the J.R. Smith elbow, the Knicks showing up in all black for a Celtics funeral, and then the Celtics embarrassing them at home Wednesday. Then, from the end of the bench, here comes Jordan Crawford with a bottle of kerosene...

“They gotta be upset," he said after Game 5. "Their [expletives] tightening up. Of course they upset.”

Asses, right? He said asses?

Anyway, yes: Lipreading Vines, guessing newspaper expletives, quietly waiting for Celtics-Knicks to boil over into a brawl on Friday night. Jordan Crawford, everyone!

It's so great to see the Wizards making an impact in the NBA Playoffs.

UPDATE: Carmelo's wife responds.