Are you being bullied at work?

Would you like to fight back?

Bullies, backstabbers and manipulators

Is there someone at your workplace who makes you feel anxious, frustrated or angry? Does that person seem intent on controlling your behavior against your will? Does he belittle, embarrass or even humiliate you?

With most people, if you make the effort, you can usually get along. Problems arise and are solved. But what if your boss, or one of your co-workers, resists any attempt to have a normal, mutually respectful working relationship?

Maybe he is overly critical or micromanaging. He seems intent on intimidating or controlling you. Or he appears to support you one day, then undermines you the next. You find yourself on an emotional roller-coaster. You feel confused and manipulated. You feel like you are alone in an increasingly painful struggle against his clever, self-serving, destructive behaviors. Your job has become an ordeal and there seems to be no way out.

If this is your situation, then you are probably dealing with a workplace bully.

Over 30 million bullied

You’re not the only one. Roughly one-fourth of employed Americans have reported bullying at work. That’s over 30 million people.

Unfortunately, most targets of bullying lack the knowledge and skills to effectively respond. Either they don’t understand the cause of their problems, or they don’t realize that it’s possible to fight back. That's over 30 million easy targets. No wonder that bullies act with such smug confidence in their ability to dominate others.

In reading this website, you can separate yourself from the crowd. You can learn the skills and techniques to neutralize or even overcome the bully in your life.

Or at the least you can become a less rewarding target, and maybe he’ll go ruin someone else's day.

What is a workplace bully?

On its surface, bullying is a simple concept. A strong person acts harshly towards someone weaker, and the bullying is blatant and habitual. It includes browbeating and threatening, verbal abuse and yelling. everyone recognizes that person as a bully.

Obvious bullies ultimately fail

An obvious bully is noisy, overly aggressive and blatent in his attempts to force others to comply with his will. Resist him and he attacks like an ill-bred pitbull. In some toxic workplaces, he may survive for years, or even become a high-level executive.

But usually he will get himself fired. His nasty over-the-top bullying is just too obvious. This simple, stupid version of bullying is rarely a path to sustained success in the American workplace.

Beware the clever bully

Because of this, a successful workplace bully is usually much cleverer in his tactics. He rarely resembles the stereotype. His methods are very subtle, disguised with all the right behaviors.

In that lies his treachery. People respect and trust him, and he quietly betrays their trust whenever necessary to fulfill his ambitions. For him, the ends always justifies the means.

And if the bully is particularly good at this, no one except his victims sees the betrayals. In some cases, not even the victims realize what has happened.

It gets worse and worse...

To make matters worse, a highly skilled bully usually has the dedication, focus and business acumen to create success, or at least the appearance of success. Then he is honored and promoted, held up as an example of a company-centric leader. He is rewarded while the frustration builds among the targets of his bullying and intimidating, backstabbing and manipulating. For them, life has become an upside-down hell..

Beyond the traditional definition of "bully"

A skilled, clever bully displays an elaborate, complex set of behaviors to exploit people around him. Those who only consider bullying to be blatantly aggressive behavior are missing the point. Any habitual pattern of intentional, socially cruel behavior is bullying, including the subtle tactics of deceit, distortion, misreprentation and misdirection. When the penalty for resisting someone is destruction of your position and reputation, it’s fair to describe that person as a bully.

Using this broad definition, bullying has reached epidemic proportions in the American workplace.

Accidental vs. intentional bullying

Not everyone who displays bullying behaviors can truly be described as a workplace bully. If someone has genuine concern for your well-being, he may be attempting to influence your behavior for your own good. Just because you don’t like his approach doesn’t make him a bully.

Or someone may yell at you in frustration. But perhaps he lacks emotional maturity and is overreacting to a stressful situation. An isolated incident doesn’t prove bullying. Good-hearted people often make mistakes.

In contrast, a workplace bully has self-serving goals with a complete lack of respect or caring for others, who he never considers as equals. And among these moral and intellectual inferiors, he feels free to use any means necessary to gain compliance. It is his perpetual intention to dominate those he considers to be weak, naive, unaware or otherwise susceptible to his guile.

Learn the skills to deal with bullying

Would you like to fight back against the bullies in your life? This website will show you how.

Part One will help you understand workplace bullies, backstabbers and manipulators, and Part Two will provide you with the tools to effectively deal with their aggressive behaviors.

Many terrible situations have already been dramatically improved using these techniques (see the User Comments page). I sincerely hope you will also be benefited.