We've all been there: you score a coveted seat on a crowded subway train and dive into the latest issue of Highlights when out of nowhere those androgynous humanoids start flying around the car, bouncing off the walls and inevitably getting lodged against a subway pole. It's not enough they were given the gift of perfectly round skulls, they have to treat the subway like their personal pinball machine? We're not helping them down anymore.

At least the MTA has finally decided to do something about this menace, with a new ad now appearing in subway trains throughout the system. Unfortunately, none of it matters until someone draws eyes on the ones this ad is targeting. But maybe this other ad combating those annoying ghosts who haunt the subways in ashen business suits will have an impact:

Go make ghoulish sounds at a spooky board meeting or something, Mr. Business Ghost—we're hot New Yorkers trying to look our best for dinner at Red Farm tonight! There's clearly no room for you or your whitewashed Men's Wearhouse suits on this moving style train. Why does a ghost even need to sit down, anyway? Wouldn't he just sink right through the seat? These ads make no sense! Oh great, now there's more ghosts in this ad:

We're not sure what point the MTA is trying to make about the ghosts of late-capitalism rising up to haunt brave local consumers, but at least somebody's finally standing up for green people and their right to shop 'til they drop. THANK U MTA!

UPDATE: Due to a photo editing error, it appears we may have somewhat misinterpreted the MTA's new etiquette ads. The full versions are below. We regret everything, as always.