This is Love Month and we will look at our relationships and how we continue to justify our fears by looking at the ‘other’ instead of understanding that we are responsible for everything that happens in our lives. We continue to worry, get angry, and justify our reactions because of someone else. It isn’t easy to authentically see that our ‘unhappiness’ is not because of someone else but because we have a fear that makes us feel insecure, unheard, insignificant or abandoned. It appears clear to us that these people or things that happen are why we are unhappy and we don’t remember that every event is really an opportunity for our own growth. Every time we have a negative response (or even a positive response) we are adding to our story of our lives. We are creating the definition that we have actualized as our identity. We want to blame our unhappiness on someone or something or believe we will only be happy when we can ensure that everyone else is doing what we need them to do. So we justify feeling unhappy because someone or thing has made us unhappy.

If we knew that the Larger Consciousness System (Tom’s wording for Higher Consciousness) is here to help us to grow. If we knew that everything has a purpose in our lives to help us grow towards ‘love’ then is it possible to allow all of these experiences to be ‘seen’ as opportunities to let go of our fears? And these experiences are also to acknowledge that no matter what happens the other person is truly being the ‘best’ they can BE and that they are not doing something to hurt us or create anxiety or pain in our lives. Rather it is our own perceptions that create the pain and unhappiness in our lives. It is our own Ego that needs to justify these experiences because it needs to be ‘right’ instead of happy.

“We are ‘infinite Divine Beings’ that are having a human experience to Evolve our Consciousness towards Love. “

We grow when we are ‘relating with others’ and it is only when we can let go of this need to blame or accept the ‘story’ of our lives as a victim can we truly step out of our patterns of fear being perceived by us. If we truly desire to ‘grow up’ and get out of the pain and unhappiness we have established as who we are then we have to begin accepting unconditionally that the pain and unhappiness isn’t coming from events or others but from our own fears within; our own beliefs and our own story of who we believe we are!

We have just forgotten who we are. We aren’t our fears. We aren’t this ego identity that we ‘believe’ is who we are. We are not just a child, parent, spouse, an education or an occupation etc. that we think about when someone asks us who we are or what we do. We are a ‘Divine Being’ who has chosen to incarnate as a Human Being to evolve towards love. We are not separate yet we have individuated consciousness to ‘Remember’ who we are and to choose to expand our consciousness towards unconditional acceptance and love of Self and ‘others’. We are more than our experiences and our fears.

What does our sensing have to do with our businesses? Our bodies have an energy-field, and this energy-field holds our thoughts, our emotions and our intentions. The movie The Secret explores the Law of Attraction and the effect that our thoughts and beliefs have on our reality. Our energy-field can be quite extensive and extend farther out from our bodies than we realize. Have you ever driven home completely absorbed in your thoughts and experiences? Maybe you’ve been so caught up in your thoughts you aren’t even sure how you got home. This is a perfect example of how we are often living unconsciously. Now think of road rage; we are just driving along, feeling fine, when we get cut off, or are put behind a very slow-moving vehicle. This situation often creates anger and frustration, the sorts of things that aren’t normally part of our everyday activity or emotional state. This is owing to the fact that in a populous city our energy gets mixed with that of others and as we are unconsciously driving around we may enter into a situation or area where road rage occurred moments – or even hours – before. We get caught up in the energy of someone else or in the energy of road rage itself. Consider your work environment: if your work area has many employees it will hold many different energies, emotions and thoughts. We can feel the grief of a friend or colleague when someone has just passed away, or the anger and frustration when someone has been fired or had a spousal fight that morning.

People project their thoughts and emotions at all times so consider how all of our thoughts and emotions have been building up within our work environment. Now let’s take into account our current state of mind and the state of the World. Think about how this energy is being compounded dramatically. We are in a constant state of experiencing the effects of anxiety and fear.

“We are ‘infinite Divine Beings’ that are having a human experience to Evolve our Consciousness towards Love. “

We are allowing our stories to trigger and dictate our unhappiness and add this unhappiness to our story with all the “what’s and why’s” that the ‘other’ person does to hurt us, instead of working on changing OUR story and changing our fears that create our story and unhappiness.

Instead we focus on each situation as a separate event that continues to justify our ‘story’: reappearing as a pattern. This belief we hold about who we are is just a fabrication that confirms our fears. Let me give an example: a person we have a relationship with says something that triggers us, out of their own fear they say something that makes us believe they are betraying us, abandoning us or alluding to the fact that we aren’t significant enough to… (you fill in the blank). It may be a fear that someone isn’t being honest and upfront with you, or maybe someone is appearing aloof and distant, like they don’t care. The ‘mirror’ we are meant to understand is that this is ‘our’ fear and we haven’t shifted it if we can still justify BEing unhappy or blaming another. We instead just take this experience and add it to our ever increasing ‘story’ of who we believe we are.

What limiting beliefs, habits and stories do you have? Our stories center around our relationships with family, friends, partners, co-workers and/or bosses. We hold certain stuck emotions from our childhood that limit us from creating the life we desire and keep us in our “head” where we choose fear over our hearts and love. Plus most of our thoughts, judgments, behaviors, patterns, beliefs, and values are formed by the age of 7 (!) and as a result we are reacting and creating the same patterns over and over again until we heal them! Are you ready to make some changes? Are you ready to make the conscious changes to Be the best you can be? Are you ready to make the changes needed to positively impact your business life – for your own betterment and, importantly, for the betterment of everyone in your work sphere? Let’s do this! Let’s become aware of how we are responding to the energies in and around us – for our own benefits. This means taking responsibility for it all. And that is part of our evolving planet and what is needed.

So let’s look at this in relationship to ‘Happiness’. Well, like everything in this life, we tend to focus on what we don’t want instead of BEing happy inside or allowing our Divine Essence to express itself, we are allowing our fears to continue to dictate our story; our unhappiness. We can’t seek ‘happiness’, it has to BEcome our intention to Evolve towards Love. It is only through our intention to grow that we will uncover that our ‘happiness’ has been here all along. We have the ‘choice’ to examine our fears and accept these fears as opportunities to mature and BEcome the Love that we already are. Our ‘happiness’ isn’t something that is ‘out’ there, but it is who we are as Divine Beings.

Learning through our relationships: having conscious experiences when our fears present themselves are the only way we can experience conscious relationships, experience Love and remember who we are. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to BE happy and have conscious relationships. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to NOT see the Divine within and experiencing more compassion and acceptance (even when I have epic failures) with mySelf. Let’s choose to initiate these changes by remembering who we are; Divine Beings having a human experience.