× Expand Photo by Chris Naffziger Compton and Shenandoah Avenues.

I have a request for my readers this week, one that requires introspection and possibly for some, revelations of uncomfortable realizations about one’s own behavior. I want you to seriously, objectively, consider how you drive your automobile. It is important for us to do that because it is so critical to what kind of city we are creating and leaving behind. I’ve had my driver’s license now for 23 and a half years, and I have never been so appalled at the way my fellow St. Louisans have been driving over the last couple of years. This must change if we are to have any hope at revitalizing this city. We cannot have a city where people are terrified to walk, bike or drive. So, I ask you these questions, and I want you to answer them honestly:

Do you come to a complete stop at every stop sign in the city? A full stop, is defined as “when there is no forward momentum and the needle on the speedometer is at 0.” For some reason, the “St. Louis Stop,” a reckless and illegal action, is celebrated as being particularly charming or funny by many residents. This needs to stop. In the defensive driver’s section of the Missouri Driver’s Guide, the text cautions: “Do not assume that a vehicle coming to a stop sign is going to stop.” The Guide’s author must a be St. Louis resident.

When you approach a stop sign, and there is a pedestrian about to cross the street in the crosswalk, does that pedestrian just stand there? I can’t help but see a class and race issue here; the majority of people who must walk out of necessity are often lower income, and African American. If you’re confused why that pedestrian is either waving you on, or hesitating to cross, it’s probably because they’re worried you’re going to run them over. Why do you think they believe that’s a possibility? Perhaps out of previous experience?

Are you constantly on the phone or texting while driving? While talking on your phone or texting, do you hear people honking but you don’t know why? I think these questions don’t need an explanation. Despite of what I call the “Cult of Personal Exceptionalism” in America, God or Nature did not endow you with more evolved genetics than other humans to allow you to multitask while driving. The science is clear (remember when everybody posted their support for science on Facebook last year?) all homo sapiens lack the brainpower to drive and use their smartphones safely.

And finally, to quote George Carlin, have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I ask these questions due to a tempest in a teapot that has erupted in the Compton Avenue corridor of the 6th Ward, represented by Alderwoman Christine Ingrassia. In response to a participatory budget meeting attended by residents recommending that ward capital funding be spent on improving Compton Avenue safety, Ingrassia commissioned a traffic study from professional civil engineers. After a series of well-publicized public forums, questionnaires for residents and scientific examination of traffic on Compton, the consultants recommended traffic calming measures that have been proven to work elsewhere, with empirical data necessary to produce scientific conclusions. Ingrassia provided me with a copy of the traffic study, and the results were not surprising but still depressing: people drive terribly on Compton Avenue. The study is well-written, thorough, cites relevant professional sources and recommends reasonable changes.

I conducted my own amateur “traffic study” at Compton and Shenandoah; in the span of 5 minutes, 24 out of 32 cars rolled or blew through one of the four stop signs at the intersection. I live on Compton Avenue in Tower Grove East, and I can vouch that the street is a nightmare. Speeding, collisions, hit-and-runs are normal on this street. Facebook and local media have been up in arms about the installation of large concrete balls that have narrowed the intersections, forcing drivers to slow down and allowing a shorter, safer, crossing distance for pedestrians. The following criticisms seem to come up the most.

The balls have taken away valuable parking spaces

Translation: the balls prevent people from parking illegally too close to intersections. The state statute is clear; cars should not be parked in such a way to make it difficult to see other automobiles coming from other directions. See below:

“17.24.070 - Prohibited parking. Except when necessary to avoid conflict with other traffic, or in compliance with law or the direction of a police officer or official traffic-control device, no person shall park a vehicle: Within thirty (30) feet of an electric traffic control device and within twenty (20) feet of a crosswalk, stop sign, yield sign, traffic control device or any other location determined by the Traffic and Transportation Administrator based on engineering standards as necessary for intersection visibility”

The balls are hard to see

If you cannot see a giant, two-foot-tall, gray concrete ball against a backdrop of red brick, glass or shrubbery, you should not have a driver’s license.

The balls make it hard to make turns

The St. Louis Fire Department had to give its approval for the balls to be installed. Think about that if you’re having trouble making the turns; someone driving a fire truck can do it. A newscast Monday night featured a clip of a car having to back up in order for another vehicle to turn at the intersection. What was not mentioned was that car was having to back up because it had already broken the law. Again, state statutes explain:

“300.270.2 - Stop and yield signs. Except when directed to proceed by a police officer or traffic control signal, every driver of a vehicle approaching a stop intersection indicated by a stop sign shall stop before entering the crosswalk on the near side of the intersection or, in the event there is no crosswalk, shall stop at a clearly marked stop line…”

In other words, if that car had followed the law and not stopped past the stop line and the crosswalk, that other car could have made the turn.

The balls are dangerous

Much ado has been made in the press about the journey of one ball rolling down Compton Avenue after it had dislodged from its steel post at the intersection with Lafayette. What has been downplayed in news coverage was the obvious, terrifying fact that someone was flying down the streets of St. Louis at such a high rate of speed that their automobile was able to break a piece of steel in half. Instead of hitting that concrete ball that night, they could have hit someone you cared about. The concrete ball did its job. There is surely massive damage to that maniac’s car, and that’s a good thing. Perhaps they woke up the next morning, saw the damage to their car, and told themselves, “Wow, I have a drinking/drug/anger problem. I need to get help.”

The controversy of the Compton balls has reached the point of absurdity. A friend of mine, Maxi Glamour, reported the following exchange at the custom t-shirt shop where he works:

“Just received a phone call about someone asking us to make a T-shirt about the infamous concrete balls on Compton. If you really wanted to make a difference in your neighborhood you could show up to your neighborhood association meetings and voice your opinion BEFORE a decision is made. Your sentiments as an afterthought are a moot point and you should keep them to yourself... THE END!”

Glamour is a pedestrian in Tower Grove East, and supports the balls, reporting that crossing at intersections is now safer for those on foot because cars are having to slow down and turn more carefully. What do the critics of the balls have to say to pedestrians who now feel safer? And to be perfectly blunt, I’m sick of everyone being an expert on everything in South St. Louis, and the confirmation bias that runs rampant. I am not a traffic engineer, so I will defer to the conclusions of experts. The real experts said we needed those balls. And can we quit bashing city leaders who are doing their best to respond to their constituents’ concerns?

I guess all I’m asking is for people to express the same amount of outrage towards the reckless, nihilist driving that has become such a serious quality of life issue in St. Louis. We can’t spare any more people giving up and moving to the suburbs. The balls need to stay.\

Chris Naffziger writes about architecture at St. Louis Patina. Contact him via email at naffziger@gmail.com.