“That’s right: the president attacked security guards, Democrats, the media and dishwashers. Normally when someone rambles that long you have to take away their keys.” — SETH MEYERS

“Trump also lashed out viciously at Representative Debbie Dingell from Michigan. Debbie Dingell is the widow of a World War II veteran, longtime congressman John Dingell, who’s very popular. He died in February. Trump last night at the rally made a ‘joke’ suggesting that congressman Dingell went to hell because his wife voted for impeachment. Trump believes that since he graciously allowed the flags at federal buildings to be lowered to half-mast to honor John Dingell, his widow should have shown her appreciation by voting not to impeach. In other words, another quid pro quo is what he was looking for.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“He really doesn’t seem to know what he did. Maybe that’s why he’s so angry.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Aw, poor Trump, man. He just became the third president in history to get impeached and you see what’s happening: He’s trying to convince everyone that it doesn’t bother him. You know? He’s just like, ‘It doesn’t even feel like we got impeached.’ Like, yeah, no, not ‘we’ — you got impeached. There’s no ‘we.’” TREVOR NOAH



“Yeah, we’re not — you are. In terms of getting impeached, the rest of us did great yesterday.” — SETH MEYERS