This is a true thing that happened to me last week. I was walking down an alley behind two people I had never met, a man and a woman, both dressed in long, tan jackets. Without thinking about it, I ended up following them a little bit closer than I'd intended. I also ended up laughing a few times and mumbling, because I was thinking, and I talk to myself when I think, and that's perfectly normal, and I'm not the one on trial here. Obviously, I'd ended up on their radar, because the man turned around sharply.

"What," he demanded. He saw me watching them. He'd heard the laughing and the mumbling. He was angry and he looked at me very much in the way a man looks at another man when he suspects that man was looking and talking at his girlfriend's butt.

BananaStock/BananaStock/Getty Images

"Oh my god, you're right! What is the deal airline food?".

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

"What's so funny," he asked, looking for a fight. I had no problem with this man, and I have the soft hands of an Internet comedy writer, so I wanted to avoid a fight, if possible. I apologized and, when that wasn't enough, asked him if he really wanted to know what I was thinking. He said yes, so I told him the truth.

"Well I'm heading to my office, and I noticed that you two were both dressed in sunglasses and identical long, tan jackets, and underneath those jackets you were very well dressed. And you both walked slowly, deliberately, like ... cooly, the way cool- the way cool people walk? You walked like that, and I don't know if this was intentional or if you even noticed, but you walked in sync with each other. Like your left foot moved at the same time as her left foot, and your right feet, too, the whole ... All of them. Both of them. Your feet moved the ... same."