It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:

VIT: I think the neighbors might be vampires.

Me: For the love of God.

VIT: They are removing all the windows from their house!

Me: So?

VIT: So who does that? It’s deranged!

Me: Stop being so judgmental.

VIT: Oh, I’m sorry, now I can’t judge vampires?

Me: Oh brother…

VIT: They have been around for hundreds of years. Eating. People.

VIT: Not to mention all the other stuff…

Me: The other stuff?

VIT: You know, sparkling, and… fucking eating people.

Me: Please go to sleep.

VIT: I think we should move.

Me: What?

VIT: I AM NOT LIVING NEXT DOOR TO VAMPIRES!

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