Things That Matter

He’s a man without a name or a face but is what every tía is cackling about in Mexican cocinas across the country after news circulated that a man was hospitalized after taking sexual stimulants meant for bulls. The man was planning to have sex with a 30-year-old woman, Peruvian newspaper La Republica reports. The eager man decided to seek out something stronger than Viagra. The man eventually traveled to Veracruz, a 12-hour drive south of where he was eventually hospitalized, in order to seek out a sexual stimulant typically reserved for bulls used by the agricultural industry as inseminating machines.

Local news outlets have not confirmed whether or not the highly-anticipated sexual encounter ever took place.

The man is currently being hospitalized at Specialist Hospital 270 in Reynosa, on the U.S.-Mexico border.

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The Mayo Clinic confirms that an erection can become a medical emergency if it has persisted for more than four hours. There are two different types of persistent erections. The more common one results from the use of erectile-enhancing drugs and can cause permanent damage to the penile muscles, causing erectile dysfunction, if not treated immediately. Essentially, the blood is not able to flow and be oxygenated, which means the surrounding tissues lose oxygen, which they need to function. Symptoms also include a “rigide penile shaft, but the tip of penis (glans) is soft” and “progressive penile pain,” according to the Mayo Clinic.

This man waited three days before seeking medical attention.

His doctors have confirmed that the substance that caused his condition is typically used to stimulate bulls for insemination.

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“He was admitted to the Specialties 270 hospital of the IMSS of this city (Reynosa), a man who would have ingested a sexual stimulant that he brought from Veracruz, used by farmers in that region, to stimulate bulls for insemination,” the man’s doctors told La República. In case you missed it, in order to have the mass production of meat and dairy that the existing human population demands, the animal agriculture industry has to get creative. It’s standard protocol to hire professional ejaculators whose sole job is to inject “viagra for bulls” into a selected bull and “collect semen.” It is a common practice in the meat and dairy industry to inseminate cows to increase the numbers in the herds.

The man told the outlet that he took the “viagra for bulls” because he was planning to have sex with a 30-year-old woman and didn’t want to underperform. Unfortunately, the very drug he sought out likely has permanently caused enough damage to his penis that he almost certainly suffers from erectile dysfunction as a consequence.

Some are choosing to make light of his condition.

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“Get well soon, @BorisJohnson,” one Twitter user joked of British Prime Minister Boris Johnson. “He should have tried the new Viagra LIGHT,” another user tweeted. Meanwhile, the unnamed man continues to recover at the Specialized Hospital 20.

The medical term for his condition is priapism and can cause permanent damage.

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The name itself, priapism, comes from the Greek god of fertility and lust, Priapus. Most of us are, thankfully, only familiar with priapism because of Shonda Rhimes’ “Grey’s Anatomy,” but it is considered a medical emergency if an erection lasts longer than four hours. According to Weill Cornell Medicine, even just 6-8 hours of priapism can cause irreversible damage and cause erectile dysfunction disorder, and “it has been estimated that priapism of 24 hours duration is associated with an approximately 50% incidence of permanent erectile dysfunction.”

The first step in treating priapism caused by erectile-enhancing drugs is to drain “the old stagnant blood from the penis” and inject “a vasoconstrictive medication directly into the erectile tissue of the penis,” says Weill Cornell Medicine’s Male Infertility non-profit. When caught early, it can be effectively resolved in this manner. In the case of this unnamed man, he required a surgical procedure to attempt to reverse the erection. Typically, surgeons will have to place a shunt to drain the stagnant blood in the penis somewhere else. Still, surgical outcomes predict a 25-50 percent rate of long-term erectile dysfunction.

The surgery fails to relieve symptoms 25-50 percent of the time, in which case a penile prosthesis may be surgically implanted. There have been no updates on the status of this man’s recovery or projected sex life.

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