RVA Magazine reporter Ian M. Graham reports from the field.

“It is ridiculously goddamn motherf**king hot. I know we live in The South, but seriously? It’s June. We’re not supposed to get this kind of crap-ass weather until July at the earliest, and with the heat index, it’s been over a hundred goddamn degrees for, like, a week. I’m leaving a sweat trail like a over-hydrated slug in a pressure cooker.”

Sweat streaming down his face like a torrential river of human salt water, Graham shifts uncomfortably while peeling his soaked shirt off of his chest.

“I think I’m lactating. Jesus. How much longer do I have to stay out here? I could be reporting on this from the air-conditioned office. How’s that sound? A compare-and-contrast editorial about how it’s hot OUTSIDE and I’m INSIDE so my buttcrack doesn’t feel like a damned slip-n-slide?”

RVA Magazine’s editorial staff then made several jokes implying that Ian is a homosexual, based off of his “slip-n-slide butt” comment.



RVA Magazine reporter Ian M. Graham reports from the field.

“It is ridiculously goddamn motherf**king hot. I know we live in The South, but seriously? It’s June. We’re not supposed to get this kind of crap-ass weather until July at the earliest, and with the heat index, it’s been over a hundred goddamn degrees for, like, a week. I’m leaving a sweat trail like a over-hydrated slug in a pressure cooker.”

Sweat streaming down his face like a torrential river of human salt water, Graham shifts uncomfortably while peeling his soaked shirt off of his chest.

“I think I’m lactating. Jesus. How much longer do I have to stay out here? I could be reporting on this from the air-conditioned office. How’s that sound? A compare-and-contrast editorial about how it’s hot OUTSIDE and I’m INSIDE so my buttcrack doesn’t feel like a damned slip-n-slide?”

RVA Magazine’s editorial staff then made several jokes implying that Ian is a homosexual, based off of his “slip-n-slide butt” comment.