MEXICO CITY—Seldom involving himself in politics, Mexican telecommunications titan Carlos Slim came forward today to offer a solution to what he sees as the greatest threat to Mexican and international security. He proposes that Mexico build a wall around Donald Trump.

"It will be a great wall. The best you've ever seen," gloats Slim, "mostly because it will tightly contain Trump."

Slim, who's estimated 50 billion USD net worth trumps Trump's fortune tenfold, says he feels compelled to stand up to the reality-TV-star-turned-politician on behalf of his country.

"Trump feels he does not have to answer to corporate interests because of his wealth. He feels his wealth entitles him to say and do whatever he wants," Slim explains. "But I do not fear this gringo with small hands, as he is a poor man in my eyes. Trump believes wealth is purchasing things made of gold. For me, wealth is buying gold mines."

Slim believes that of the many problems afflicting Mexico — political corruption, drug violence, and the Zika virus — Trump is by far the worst. "Trump's rhetoric breeds hatred toward our people and his wall will put a strain on USA-Mexico relations," says Slim. "To end this nonsense, I will use my excellent business negotiation skills to build a wall around Trump. I will also have him pay for it."

Slim's proposed wall would placed snugly around Trump, extending four meters above his head, which will prevent freedom of mobility for the real estate mogul. The wall will also be soundproofed to make his jingoistic ramblings inaudible.

Slim himself is no stranger to controversy and has been accused of amassing his staggering fortune through monopolistic business practices in a nation where a significant portion of the population lives in poverty. Slim however, does not see himself as morally superior to Trump.

"Of course my intentions are not purely altruistic," he smiles. "Trump needs to be silenced partially because he is drawing attention to how awful we 1% truly are. Billionaires are supposed to keep a low profile. Trump acknowledged this when he signed the blood oath and sacrificed a virgin during initiation into the New World Order. He is an embarrassment to your secret overlords."

We know how Trump feels about Mexico, but how does he feel about Canada?

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