I learned this beastly technique from the nut vendor pictured below.

I'm pretty sure it was Sun Tzu, the author of The Art of War, who first said, "Set two nuts upon each other and the strongest one will emerge every time. Do this one-thousand times and you will have found one hard-ass nut." In fact I would even go so far as to say that he even predicted evolution. Hell, I can say anything I want; no one's reading this shit anyways!

Nuts are widely available in Xuzhou, though it can't be said that they are cheap! 25 yuan per half kilo seems to be the going rate (a half kilo can last a couple of weeks if you're not a nut hog like me). It's a pretty damn good deal if you can afford it, espcecially when weighed against their health benefits (remember: saturated fats are really good!)

The second bonus is that they are produced in China. The dark shelled variety come from the western province of Yunnan and the north western province of Xinjiang is where the lighter shelled nuts come from. Let's take a closer look.









Now to figure out how to crack that last nut.





BONUS:

Since I'm not obliterating the shells when I open them I have begun the creation of my walnut army, loyal to the temptuous Squash Queen (of course).















