OLD people have requested bored younger people to please f**k off and leave them alone.

Pensioners have asked family to stop Skyping, neighbours to stop knocking on every day offering help and kids to stop making them rainbows to put in their windows.

75-year-old Mary Fisher said: “Everyone suddenly can’t get enough of me. Well I didn’t like them before and I don’t like them now.

“First it was my family, all on the phone saying how terrible they feel that they can’t come and help. I had to bite back my ‘Don’t worry I’m used to it, I’ve seen none of you since Christmas.’

“Then it was the bearded millennial with the pierced face who lives in the flats up the road. He knocked on the door, stood back two metres and politely asked if I wanted any shopping. Bloody nerve.

“I get my exercise walking down the middle of the street because there’s no-one to stop me. I buy my groceries at 7am and if anyone comes close I’m allowed to hit them with my stick. I’m fine.

“Bugger off the lot of you before you give me that virus. The next person who disturbs me I’m calling the police.”