Hold on to your foreskins, fellas, because this could be your big break... Or maybe "break" isn't quite the right word? At any rate, The Puppetry of the Penis—that show where two dudes make elaborate origami with their genitals for a paying audience—is looking for new, um, talent! They're holding open auditions for their new show, and you've got just two weeks to rehearse! Luckily, we've gotten our hands on detailed illustrations showing you the various penis maneuvers you'll need to perform to get the gig. These include "The Wristwatch," "The Loch Ness Monster," "The Eiffel Tower," and (our favorite) "The Hamburger." Check out the semi-NSFW instructions below, and get ready to knock the competition's dick in the dirt at the auditions:

The latest version of the show, which opens tonight at The Green Room Theater at 45 Bleeker Street, features "forty astonishing, now-iconic penis installations including the Pelican and The Windsurfer, plus a handful of breathtaking new installations, like Yoda, Sombrero, and E.T." If you think you've got the right junk, the casting call will take place Tuesday, July 27th from 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. at The Green Room Theater at 45 Bleeker. Those who wish to audition must RSVP to puppetryauditions2010@gmail.com, and type the email using only their Johnsons.