re: Skyler White.

I’ve had a lot of Skyler feelings since last night’s episode. Particularly after reading through some of the ugliness that was the Breaking Bad tag per usual last night - there were maybe 3 people who said something to the extent of “man, I’ve hated Skyler this whole time but after tonight’s episode, I see these events from her point of view, and I sympathize with her.” Which, YES, that was the whole point of last night’s episode. But amongst the few Skyler stanning posts, there were still a large number of “WHAT A BITCH!” and “UGH WALT SHOULD HAVE LET HER DROWN HERSELF” and “I CAN’T WAIT TILL HE KILLS THAT SLUT.” And my favorite, “I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE SAID SOMETHING SO MEAN, THERE IS NO COMING BACK FROM THAT.”

I’m always one to defend everyone’s freedom to like what they want to like and dislike what they want to dislike. Especially on a television show - it’s a work of fiction. And I’m not saying that Skyler needs to be everyone’s favorite - she doesn’t. She’s absolutely not perfect. She cheated on her husband, she’s committed some pretty serious white collar crimes of her own. But all works of fiction are interpreted through each viewer’s mind and outlook on the world, and at this point, if you are still hating on Skyler for “being an annoying bitch and getting in the way of the great Walter White who just wants to keep his poor family together” and have the kind of visceral reaction to her face and/or voice that some people have been talking about, then I’d suggest you examine why you think that way.

Season 4 ended just days ago in the timeline of the story, which means that Walt’s “I am the danger” and “I won” conversations with Skyler are still very fresh in her mind. Since Walt’s 50th birthday, he’s been lying to her for the purpose of “protecting his family.” From the beginning, his plan was ridiculous: “make a lot of money selling meth so I leave something substantial to my family.” Alright, Walter, what happens when someone traces that dirty money your loved ones start spending when you are gone? Where will they think it came from? It was never really about his family in the first place - it was about his ability to provide for them and the power of that feeling.

His ridiculousness escalated from there. He was already killing people in the pilot of the show and chalking it up to “self-defense”. He tried to rape Skyler in the the first episode of season 2. He’s shown no remorse over any of the physical, emotional, and mental horrors that Hank has had to deal with, which are mostly his fault. His lies have gotten more disgusting and out of control, coming down to his conversation with Marie in last week’s episode - he chalked all of Skyler’s anger and frustration up to being her own fault. (The scary thing about that is, considering how little attention he’d been paying her before last night’s episode, he might have actually believed himself.)

And Skyler’s a sharp lady, she knew something was off from the get-go. But even when she finally figured out what Walt had been doing behind her back, even when she actually found out about the meth - he continued to lie to her about the danger in bigger and bigger ways. "No, I’m really safe!“ "These bruises were just from a disagreement with a co-worker!” “There’s no danger, I am the danger!”. And I think she spent a lot of time trying to convince herself those lies were true, even though she knew they actually weren’t, because she needed some shred of sanity to cling to. She had a choice at the beginning: turn my husband in and let my children see who their father is, or do my part to protect them and try to keep this family intact. She didn’t ask for any of this, but she chose to get her hands dirty and launder the money so that her kids wouldn’t have to see their father go off to prison and their family torn apart. For her, this was never about the money.

But then in last season’s “Crawl Space”, Walt came home and had a complete breakdown over the threats that had been made not just against him, but against Skyler and her son and her baby daughter. So she goes to Hank and Marie’s. But at the end of all of that - it turned out that Walt actually was the danger. So she has to go home to him with her kids - knowing that she’s going home to someone who is comfortable blowing up nursing homes and killing people. And not only that, but he’s on some kind of crazy power trip from the whole thing. Anyone would be terrified to knowingly go into that kind of environment, let alone allow other people they love to live in the midst of it obliviously.

Skyler wasn’t trying to kill herself in the pool - but saying “I’m waiting for you to die” to someone she knows is capable of murdering people he sees as threatening? She sees two escapes from this: Walt dying a natural death (she’s not going to murder the father of her children, because that would not be protecting them), or provoking Walt to kill her so her children are taken away from him. She’s surely thought about the possibility of him killing her, considering how terrified she is. To her, death is the only way out - either his, or hers. But this is a woman who would rather destroy her reputation and her relationship with her entire family - children included - than put her children in what she rightly sees as real danger. There is absolutely no coming back from this for her - they will never be a whole, happy family again. Walt’s been ignoring her all season (he’s so wrapped up in his delusions that he can’t see what’s been OBVIOUS on her face since the day he killed Gus), but she made it clear to him last night. For the time being, he might actually have deluded himself into thinking he can manipulate her into loving him again. But as much as she’s my favorite character on this show, I fear that as soon as Walt accepts she’s a lost cause, she’s done for.

And he’s already got ricin in the house.

Basically, this all boils down to the difference between Walt’s and Skyler’s definitions of “protecting the family,” because that’s what they both say they’re trying to do. Skyler’s puts her children ahead of even her own safety. Walt’s doesn’t.

I get that, from Walt’s point of view, the ~immediate danger~ is gone and no one wants to kill him at the moment. But he’s been telling Skyler this as a lie for so long now that it’s ridiculous for him to expect her to believe it.

The thing that scares me about all the folks hating Skyler in the tag isn’t that they dislike Skyler - it’s that through all of this, they are sympathizing with lying, murderous, incredibly selfish Walt. Like, fine, I get that everyone doesn’t like the same characters I do. The problem is when you don’t like her because she’s in Walt’s way. But the writers have made it pretty clear at this point that Walt is a murderous megalomaniac control freak, and his rationale about “doing this for family” is absolutely not what this was ever even about. Skyler, his wife, the center of his family, the very reason he said he was doing all of this - Walt ignores her for the first three episodes of the season, and then abuses her emotionally and verbally and physically stalks her around their dark bedroom threatening to have her committed if she doesn’t play house? Walt, who has racked up a massive body count at this point, who has poisoned children and planned elaborate scenarios in which to manipulate and control everyone in his life, including his kids? Walt, who has actually admitted to his wife that he’s a murderer and proven to her since the first episode of this show that he’s a lying, manipulative piece of pond scum? And Skyler is the villain in this?!

How anyone can still defend this guy is absolutely beyond me. Walt is one of the most fascinating characters on TV, and watching him transform into this monster continues to be enthralling week after week. But trying to justify his actions and wanting him to succeed at this point is just utterly terrifying to me. Unless these people have been watching a completely different show, I hope I don’t ever meet any of them irl.