— Donald Trump, commenting on the Biglaw firm he chose to represent him in his absurd contractual suit filed against comedian Bill Maher.

(More information on the suit, and why Trump is likely to lose, after the jump.)

Back in October, everyone’s favorite businessman who needs to fire his hair stylist challenged Barack Obama to present his college transcripts and passport records in exchange for a $5 million donation to the charities of the president’s choice. Needless to say, the POTUS never took Trump up on his offer.

Trump’s offer is what likely spurred Bill Maher’s commentary on the Jay Leno Show last month, where he mused that he’d be “willing to offer $5 million to Donald Trump that he can donate to a charity of his choice — the Hair Club for Men, the Institute for Incorrigible Douchebaggery — whatever charity,” if the Donald could prove that he wasn’t the “spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan.”

Seeing as Trump is not a human-orangutan hybrid, he responded by screaming wildly and commanding Cooley LLP to throw legal poop all around, while beating on his chest in a show of his manhood. It probably would’ve been helpful if his attorneys, Scott Balber, Jonathan Cross, and Michael Rhodes, had brushed up on their 1L contracts curriculum prior to filing suit. Leonard v. Pepsico, anyone? In that case, Judge Kimba Wood had to eviscerate a humorous “offer” made in a commercial to explain why it was meant to be taken in jest.

Here’s some discussion of the contractual case at hand from the Hollywood Reporter:

And so, now we have the case of the Trumpian orangutan. Maher is a comedian. His “offer” might have been pointed, but what judge is going to agree that there’s an objective basis for saying it was understood to be more than a joke? Especially when Maher presents evidence of the studio audience laughing.

Just how far will Donald Trump go to kill a joke? We’re not sure, but we do know that thanks to the filing of this loser of a case, Cooley may soon receive a call to the effect of, “YOU’RE FIRED!”

(Flip to the next page to see the complaint filed in Trump v. Maher, courtesy of the Hollywood Reporter.)