Little Rock, AR – We’ve all had those patients who tell you they’re a ‘hard stick’ before you even have a chance to greet them. You know, the ones who claim to have had blood drawn from every vein in their body, and then some. One nurse, however, says a piece of petrified wood is actually the hardest stick she’s ever had.

“I’ve had some hard sticks in my life, but this baby was literally like a piece of rock. I couldn’t get a vein anywhere! Hell, I couldn’t even get the needle in!” said Sharon Amber, RN. “Talk about a hard stick!” Amber claims she went through 45 needles and called a few other nurses to try before she tried doing an intraosseous line.

We were a little confused as to why she would have been drawing fluid from fossilized remains of terrestrial vegetation, but Amber quickly explained. “Well, it all started when I got the order to draw blood from the ‘petrified’ patient in room 6. I went in and there was this piece of petrified wood on the table so I just did my job without asking questions. That’s what the doctors want, right?” she said with a smirk. “I later found out they actually meant they wanted blood from the scared patient in that room, not the petrified wood decoration on the table. Guess they should be more clear when they use words like petrified!”

Ultimately, Amber somehow ended up getting a small amount of liquid sap out of the fossilized wood because let’s be honest, nurses can stick anything. White Coat Weekly is very grateful for everyone involved in this amazing story. We will now sign off, but feel free to contact us with any further questions about this amazing case.

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