Paul Ryan, the zombie-eyed granny starver from the state of Wisconsin and first runner-up in our most recent vice-presidential pageant, is doing his Hamlet thing about his party's presumptive presidential nominee. He's making sure that his suckfish in the elite political media know how deeply his vast conscience is torn over the decision, and that it's keeping him from his newfound embassy to the nation's poor and its struggling middle class.

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No kidding. Some people actually buy this swill.

Then, on Wednesday, as Slate informs us, the administration announced that four million people will be getting a raise.

Under the new Department of Labor rules, salaried employees earning less than $47,476 annually will automatically receive overtime pay when they work more than 40 hours in a week, double the current $23,660 ceiling. Administration officials estimate that more than 4 million workers will be impacted by the change, which will increase their pay by an estimated $12 billion over the next decade. "It is based on a simple proposition. If you work overtime, you should actually get paid for working overtime," Vice President Joe Biden said on a press call.

Huzzah, right? A break for the poor and the struggling middle class. Paul Ryan no longer needs to fight this fight alone. And what did the man of the people say to ABC News about this announcement?

"This regulation hurts the very people it alleges to help. Who is hurt most? Students, non-profit employees, and people starting a new career," Ryan, R-Wisconsin, said in a statement today. "By mandating overtime pay at a much higher salary threshold, many small businesses and non-profits will simply be unable to afford skilled workers and be forced to eliminate salaried positions, complete with benefits, altogether. For the sake of his own political legacy, President Obama is rushing through regulations—like the overtime rule—that will cause people to lose their livelihoods. We are committed to fighting this rule and the many others that would be an absolute disaster for our economy," Ryan added.

Biggest. Fake. Ever.

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