Photo: Universal Pictures/Everett Collection

Would you like priority seating at busy, popular restaurants like those on Alan Richman's best-of lists for this magazine? Would you like servers to remember what you like and don't? Would you like the choicest cuts of meat, the most pristine fish, extra courses on the house? Then you want to become a regular—or what we in the business call a PX table, for person extraordinaire. Ultimately, the experience you're after is "soigné." That's chef-speak for culinary perfection from your first drink to your last dessert.

The bar for this level of treatment is low, but it does take some commitment on your part. It means more than just eating at a restaurant regularly. It's knowing how to eat well, and doing so with proper etiquette. Amazingly, most people fail at least one of those three qualifications.

If you eat at a restaurant less than once a month, it's unlikely they'll learn your face. So come often. Avoid eating on weekends, when it's a zoo. The best diners eat Sundays through Thursdays, earlier or later in the evening, so the staff remembers you better. Also, until you and the restaurant are on a first-name basis, take potentially problematic guests (picky in-laws, babies, first dates) somewhere else to eat. The love you show us will be reciprocated and, over time, will get you the best reservation times, tables, and treatment.

Next up: Be kind. Your mom probably taught you the Golden Rule, right? This applies to everyone involved, from the hostess to your server to the busboy to the cooks. (You'll meet them when, as a cherished customer, you're invited back to the kitchen.) You're looking for a little something extra, right? Well, you've got to give a little. Get to know the staff, if you want them to know you, too. This is a transient business, and there is much cross-pollination. So when you become a PX table at one spot, you soon become a known commodity at many others. And if you're a dick somewhere, they'll remember you everywhere. Also, don't do drugs in the bathroom.

Order well. As the great French gastronome Brillat-Savarin, put it, "Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are." Order like you know what's going on, and we'll know you're legit. If you request welldone meat and you're not pregnant, you have no concept of flavor. (Sorry, this is how we think.) If you send a dish back because you think something's "off," you're probably wrong. (And the kitchen will hate you for it.) Above all, try dishes from outside your comfort zone—those are probably the ones the cooks are most proud of. Same with wine. Ordering an inexpensive but esoteric bottle that the beverage guy is probably stoked about will get you a lot further than some expensive trophy from Napa.

When you're done, be honest in your feedback. We don't want a sermon from your inner food critic, but alerting us (in a friendly tone) to any serious missteps will earn you points. A general rule of thumb on social media: Say it to our faces. If you trash us on Twitter or Instagram, obviously there's nothing soigné in your future.

And always, always, always tip generously. If you're getting comped dishes, tip like they were on the bill. (Yes, that might eradicate the "savings" of free food, but you're making a long play here.) You can tip in other ways, too: Buy the crew a round from the restaurant's bar. Or if you're one of the last tables, pick up a case of beer from the deli across the street, plus maybe a few Gatorades, and bring it back to the kitchen. You will be immediately adored. Just don't leave a nice bottle of booze: It'll wind up in the chef's office.