By Emily Roche

The year 2012 was reported by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs to be the year with the fourth highest murder rate of LGBTQ people in the USA. Perhaps even more disturbing is that 53% of these hate crimes victimized transgender and gender non-conforming (GNC) people in particular.

I hate to start an article with murder statistics, but sometimes numbers speak louder than words. These statistics show that there is an endemic wave of violence targeting transgender and GNC people (in particular, transgender women and people of color). In the past thirteen months, there have been fifteen reported murders of transgender women in the United States, a number that doesn’t reflect the countless other acts of violence committed against this community.

I identify as cisgender. It’s important for me to preface with this to acknowledge that I do not face the challenges described here, and that without contributors, this article would not have been possible.

Hailey Bobella is an NYU alumna and a transgender woman, and her experience at NYU was not free from gender-based harassment. “Even at NYU … things in some ways lag behind when it comes to the implementation of trans*…rights,” she said, “I can remember having to walk home to Brittany from Bobst my freshman year every time I had to use the bathroom for fear of the harassment I would receive.”

The issue of safety in public bathrooms is something Bobella cited as a recurring concern at NYU, saying that she “would have to trek all the way to the 7th floor of Brown to the one single-occupancy bathroom…to avoid the stares, sometimes the harassment by security guards, and at worst the verbal attacks from…classmates and, once, a professor.”

Woodley*, a GNC individual who uses the neutral pronouns “xe, xyr, xem,” also faces discrimination based on xyr identity. “I think the bathroom thing is annoying mostly because it’s seen as a problem for me to use the “men’s’” bathroom,” xe wrote, “…I hate that since I’m perceived as a cis girl I am a target of sexism… and there’s not a lot I can do about that.”

In addition to bathrooms, finding safe housing is also a problem for this community. According to Bobella, “NYU has made a lot of progress in housing in the last few years… but there are still issues… the option [to apply for gender-neutral housing] did not even exist in my freshman year, 2010, when I had to live with 4 boys in male housing. Things were awkward, as you can imagine.”

Both contributors reported, among other things, misgendering (that is, making incorrect, usually deliberate, assumptions of another’s gender), discrimination, and sexual assault. Given the pervasiveness of these issues, it’s plain to see that transphobia is institutionalized to the point where a trans or GNC individual isn’t afforded the comfort or safety to express their identity, even in the apparent safety of a dorm room or bathroom.

Rachel Katz, a senior at Barnard College, explained how some of the reforms on her campus have been aimed at boosting services to trans and GNC students, but that many have fallen short of their goals.

“The bathroom policy changes at Barnard College have provided an opportunity for on-campus education about trans and genderqueer issues,” she said, “By changing the sign to indicate they are “gender inclusive” single stall restrooms, it is acknowledged that the simple act of using a male or female restroom reinforces a gender binary.”

Her comments raise questions as to the fundamental nature of gender, and how it’s projected onto public spaces. Woodley also commented on the frustrations of being forced to fit into a gender system, expressing that “being GNC is mostly about the fact that I don’t like being tagged as a woman or girl or female or whatever, I just want to be me and I wish that weren’t so hard.”

So, what can you do on your road to trans and GNC inclusive allyship?

The golden rule — respecting other folks’ identities. “Ultimately the best thing people can do is educate themselves and treat others with respect,” Bobella commented, which brings up another point:

Take education into your own hands. According to Bobella: “Most trans people that I know are more than happy to share facts about their lives and their experiences, but the onus is not on us to educate the entire world.” For further education, Katz recommended the webcomic Ohjoysextoy for depictions and explanations of marginalized identities, and Woodley suggested the website Everyone Is Gay for resources and advice for supporting LGBTQ friends, family, and youth. I also recommend Janet Mock’s autobiography Redefining Realness as a good memoir to read for its depictions of the intersectionality of issues like racism, sexism, classism, and transphobia.

Don’t make assumptions about gender. Woodley recommended asking a new friend’s preferred gender pronouns [PGPs] to avoid misgendering, while Katz cautioned, “asking for PGPs…can be extremely othering to trans or genderqueer individuals, who are expected to out their status.” One tip: always offer your own PGPs before asking someone else’s. And once you learn a new friend’s pronouns, honor them. “A safe space doesn’t just exist once you say it, it needs to be built,” Rachel added.

To make a safer space, use gender-neutral language when possible. Substitute “guys” when addressing a bunch of people to something less gendered, like “folks,” or “y’all.”

Go out there and make some new friends! Surround yourself with a diverse group of people. You’re spiffy — you can do it!

(This article is just a brief overview of a few points of view, with reference to a couple different voices. For more information, check out the NYU LGBTQ center for resources, and consider signing up for a Safe Zone training!)

*This pseudonym is being used at the request of the contributor

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