BIRMINGHAM, AL—Explaining that the pressure was on to drive this thing home after setting the bar so high right off the bat, sources reported Tuesday that local office worker Jackie Sosa really needs to stick the landing to the sentence she just began with “Oh my God.” “All I’m saying is that if you gasp out loud and then say that phrase, you better damn well be prepared to deliver,” said colleague Ellen Robinson, who stated that by going so big from the get-go, Sosa now had to bring her A-game and knock this thing out of the park. “With that kind of intro, you have no choice but to come through big time, no two ways about it. Oh, here we go! Let’s see if she’s got the goods.” At press time, Robinson was seen sighing and shaking her head in disgust after Sosa went on to talk about the ending to an episode of a television show she watched the previous night.

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