Short story 3: The Will of the Goddess Eris

TL: Cannongerbil

Editor: Ulti

Waving the quest poster in my hand, I walked up to Chris and said,

“So, there you have it, let’s go on a quest together, Chris.”

“How does that lead you to this conclusion? I don’t get it at all.”

At the tavern that’s part of the adventurer’s guild.

I sighted Chris happily downing a mug of crimson beer, and offered her an invitation to head off on an adventure.

“Kazuma doesn’t seem like he has any intention of going on an adventure as of late. So, I saw you looking pretty bored out here and thought that I’d invite you to join us.”

“I’m actually pretty busy, you know?”

Chris raised her voice in a somewhat hurt tone.

“You say that, but you’re happily drinking away in the middle of the day. You don’t seem that much different from our Aqua like this.”

“Does it really seem that way!? I’m only drinking because I’ve completed my work! Actually, Megumin, don’t you already know what I do? I might seem this way, but I work my butt off to preserve the peace of this world!”

The peace of this world…

“Oh, really? That’s really amazing of you. It seems like you’re pretty deep into your mugs right now, so I’ll come back when you’re sober.”

“Wait a minute, I’m not drunk! It’s the truth! The fate of the world hangs upon the divine relics that I gather!”

As I turned away to leave, Chris grabbed onto my cloak and said such a thing.

“Kazuma and Aqua too say they aren’t drunk even as they are slurring their words into mush.”

“I’m really not drunk! This is just my first mug!”

It doesn’t seem like she’d be letting go of my cloak anytime soon, so I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to go along with her for a while.

“I get it, you really work hard for the sake of this world. Then, allow me to share a secret of mine too. To tell you the truth, I unleash my Explosion every day in order to keep the God of Destruction sealed within me under control. If I don’t use up all my mana with my Explosion, the God of Destruction could use my mana to break the seal. That’s the setting I–”

“No, that’s not it! It isn’t like that, so there’s no need to make up a story to fit in!”

This drunk is saying such things even as she stubbornly gripped a mug in her other hand.

“Please don’t destroy the image of the noble silver haired thieving band that I look up too. Actually, I’ve been wondering for some time now, but why are you willing to brave being put on the most wanted list to gather the divine relics for humanity?”

Upon hearing my question, Chris let out a cheeky smile, one that made her look like a prank loving child, and drew close to me.

“Hmm, well… I suppose it’s fine to tell you about it. You see, I’m actually gathering the divine relics on the orders of the goddess Eris.”

She whispered into my ear as if she was revealing some major secret.

“If you say such blasphemous things, Eris-sama will punish you, you know?”

“The Goddess Eris wouldn’t get angry! If anything, she’s too busy sorting through the Divine relics!”

I originally thought that Chris was one of the more respectable ones amongst the people I know, but it seems like the Big Boss that I so admired has a pretty painful personality too.

“I get it. You’re really busy being the boss, aren’t you? I’ll go ask someone else, so please enjoy your break.”

Chris faltered for a moment, before agitatedly downing her mug of Crimson beer and said.

“You don’t get it at all. By the way, what is that quest about, anyways?”

“Apparently, undead kobolds have been sighted in the forests near town– W-What are you doing!? Cut it out, you’re going to rip my precious cape!”

Upon hearing the word undead, Chris’s face turned and she tightened her grip on my cape into a death grip.

“I’ll help you with that quest!”

Slamming the empty mug onto the counter, Chris rose from her seat.

“There’s no need for that. Chris, you’re acting really weird today. You really are drunk, aren’t you?”

“I’m not drunk! Anyway, it’s a different story if we are talking about the undead! As a devout follower of Eris, I can’t leave this alone! You can rely on my magic dagger!”

Seeing Chris’s sudden change in attitude just made me more uneasy.

“No, I was only thinking of relying on your enemy detection skill…”

“Come on Megumin, let’s go! Devils and undead need to be destroyed! This is the divine revelation of the Goddess Eris!”

Oh no, she’s definitely drunk. And pretty badly, at that.

Chris has been muttering non-stop to herself ever since then.

“Just order another drink for now, I’ll call your guardian Darkness over right away.”

“I’m not drunk! I’m not drunk! This really is the goddess Eris’s… ”

Just then.

An old man wearing a priest’s robes seated at a table not far from us looked over with a stern look.

“Excuse me, young lady. You’ve been screaming something about the divine revelation of the Goddess Eris for a while now, but… It’s true that it’s the sacred duty of all devout Eris worshippers to destroy the undead, but even so, you shouldn’t take up the name of the Goddess Eris so lightly, especially in public.”

“… I’m sorry.”

Hearing Chris’s words, the old man let out a smile.

“Leave dealing with the undead to a professional like me. Here, this is on me. Just wait here for a while.”

“… Ah, t-thank you… very much.”

Chris muttered those words to the old man while numbly accepting the mug he offered her.

“Being lectured and treated by an Eris Priest. This reminds me a lot of Aqua.”

“!?”

For some reason, Chris stiffened in shock upon hearing my words.

Epilogue

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