You know when you meet someone new, and you’re not sure if they’re actually cool or if they’re just trying to get close to you in order to betray you and steal your kingdom? This handy guide will help you determine if you’re dealing with a Kristoff or a Hans.



Is he side-eyeing your kingdom with a look of desire?

Not really, no. → Got yourself a Kristoff.

Yes, as a matter of fact. → RED ALERT. RED ALERT. HE IS A HANS.



What’s his stance on gloves?

“They are utilitarian components of proper winter wear, necessary to protect one’s digits by staving off the bitter frost of winter.” → Kristoff.

“Stylish!” → Hans.



How long has he been waiting to find his own place?

His whole life! → You’ve got a Hans on your hands.

He got adopted when he was like, around 8 years old or something, so I don’t know, maybe 8 years? → Ding, ding, ding! Kristoff.



TIP: Look him in the eye and confidently say the phrase, “Marrying a man I just met.” If he responds, “You can’t,” then he’s a Kristoff. If he replies, “Yes, please” and then picks you up and swings you in three circles, he’s a Hans.



How’s his reindeer’s attitude?

Cheerful, optimistic, generally helpful. → Kristoff

Haughty and emboldened by the knowledge of its impenetrable royal status. → Hans



How meticulous does he seem to be about his sideburns?

Very. → Hans

No one even knows exactly what lies beneath that mop of hair. → Kristoff



Play a word association game with him using only innocuous, completely neutral words.

If he’s a Kristoff, he’ll answer with buzzwords like, “ice,” “reindeers,” “supply and demand,” and “I can live with that.”

If he’s a Hans he’ll just chant the phrase, “A kingdom of my very own” over and over.



Was he raised by literal trolls?

YES → He might literally be Kristoff.

NO → Definitely not a Kristoff; possibly a Hans.



How much of a fixer upper is he?

A bit → Likely a Kristoff.

You’ve gotta start by addressing his traitorous impulses and go from there. → HANS HANS HANS HANS

The results are in! Is he a Kristoff or a Hans? Tell us below.

Posted 5 years Ago