[reddit-me]Not content with simply giving the world robot pissing, robot farting and robot dicks (that shoot lasers), Sir Michael Bay (not really a knight) decided “Transformers 2” wouldn’t be complete with robot balls. That’s classy film making right there. Michael Bay doesn’t really have to respect us as an audience, though. He continually shovels shit down our throat holes with a Cybertronian Mecha-Shovel and we thank him with millions and millions of dollars, ensuring even more frequent and violent throat shovelings in the future.

Anyway, Josh live-Twittered “Transformers 2.” Here it is unabridged. !!!POTENTIAL SPOILERS!!!

Starting transformers2. Liveblog ahoy! Harry potter 6 trailer now.

First transform most visually confusing thing I’ve seen in my life. 2 awful one liners.

Sound design is bizarre. Like half the sounds are missing.

Aaaaaand we have dog humping.

I’ve now seen robot dick and robot farting.

Camera just spun for almost a full minute.

It just dawned on me. I have no idea what is going on.

Innappropriate parental drug use.

And we have lapdance

Holy shit. First actually funny joke.

Wait. Why are we on Saturn?!?!?

I never thought I would feel sorry for Shia lebeef. I was wrong.

Nobody told me there were cylons in this movie.

They just drove out the door of a factory in the middle of the city and were instantly in the middle of the forest. What?

It was just daytime in Paris and the middle of the pacific at the same time.

Holy racist robots batman

Wow. Jockstrap shot even *I* didn’t want to see.

Standing in mid DC. Walk into a building. Walk out of building into fields surrounded by mountains. WTF

THEY ARE GONNA BLOW UP THE SUN!

Ladies and gentlemen. We have midget.

Like 40 people have survived epic crashes. WTF.

BALLS!

I’m done. Sam just went to robot heaven. Seriously?

That was better than Terminator Salvation.

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