There are some days in this way of life one just has to speak the ugly side of truth. It’s isn’t always pretty. I sometimes believe after the many years I’ve been writing this blog, some of my readers think I’m Little Mary Sunshine ; I assure you, I am not.

We often find ourselves in one particularly pitiable state I like to call, “My life is worse than your life.” It’s only human of us to feel that way but it is most definitely a dead end road but a path we occasionally drive down. Life is hard enough for the jolly and the totally healthy but for those of us who face pain each day of our lives, usually in different parts of our bodies at the same time, life can throw us a pitch that hits us right in the eye. I often want to shout at life, “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” Yes, it’s true. I talk to myself and the air around me a great deal. I find it helps. Exhale all those nasty thoughts; don’t keep them in to fester and poison your life and attitude.

I learned long ago the circumstances of life cannot always be changed by me, physically and actually, but the attitude and emotion I allow it to rob from me is the true key. I cannot give all the bad circumstances in my body and my life power over me. I do confess there are days life pushes me a bit too hard and I would love to have a punching bag. My hands would suffer far more than the punching bag; I just have to avoid not using my poor dear husband or any other human as a verbal punching bag. Pain can be shared but it doesn’t help anyone in the process, however it is served. Incidentally, I also never kick the dog. What an awful thought.

There are certain days when bad news arrives regarding a loved one, something has gone wrong with or in the house, the car acts up and my body is really showing off. Those are the days, when life gangs up on me, that I dread the most. Yesterday was an example of this. The city is now starting to tear up the street in front of our house and it will go on for many months. Where am I going to park? How am I going to get my groceries into the house as well as my body? I awakened yesterday to the particularly disgusting experience of projectile vomiting when you have to run to the facility and pray you win. I am worried about a family member, have a friend fighting stage 4 cancer, another which was recently widowed and always concerned about the legion of possibilities with my own health. Then my poor overworked husband came in, wet from the rain and announced he would have to drive my car for a few days because the motor in his old car’s window wasn’t working and he had to leave the window covered in plastic all night and day. I still deal with a precious old dog that needs cleaning in the rear region every time she goes out to poop and then our other sweet dog threw up. I know there is more, but those are the highlights. It was just one of those, “Too much for this woman who would welcome a day of too little but I have not seen one of those in many years” day.

I sometimes call my husband at work and know I am disrupting him but when life gets so overwhelming to my mind and my body that I cannot control the tears, I need company. I usually suffer alone but when it reaches the sobbing stage, I have to call in support. Often, a simple word of understanding and support can make the difference for me. I’ve tried talking to the dogs about my problems, but they have so many problems of their own, I hate to overburden them.

I’m quite certain there are days when a huge neon sign is flashing on our roof “VICTIM HERE, VICTIM HERE.” I know in your life as in mine, many of these days seem to dump on us when we at our weakest. Sometimes we’re weakened from a bout of the flu, an infection or just an insurmountable mountain of pain. Now we just have to figure out how to unplug the bleeping sign. Like a child at an Easter egg hunt, we have to find the prize and the way out of this maze of frustration. To stay trapped is simply unthinkable and I may lie down and weep awhile but I always rise again. There’s no magic involved; I just don’t like it down at the bottom of the pile.

Try to Be Prepared. First of all, if you know a certain food or medication is going to hurt you, methodically figure it out and avoid it. I know it sounds so simple but life isn’t simple for many of us. Some medications cause more harm than good. We are often affected by sprays on our food, restaurant take- out food, gluten or lactose. Many of us who also suffer bowel or stomach problems with our rheumatoid problems, need to be prepared and have the remedies, medications or herbs and teas we find help us. I found long ago to be a good Girl Scout and be prepared. I have a drawer full of back-up supplies of these things. Creams, suppositories, herbs, supplies of all kinds usually will be used and when you’re having a problem, it’s not the time to skip out to the store. I even learned the hard way to keep undies in the bathroom and my purse along with other clean-up supplies for those times one is trapped in the bathroom with company in the house or in the car heading to or from a destination. I haven’t reached the point of bravery when I want to be caught without sufficient clothing or any other embarrassing circumstance. Nothing ruins a friendly get together quite like walking through the house half-clothed saying, “Oh don’t mind me, just looking for a new pair of undies. Been there, or almost there, didn’t like it.

Those Details are Your Life. They, whoever they are, say God is in the details. That is also true of your life and mine. The little details are deceptively small if they can turn your life one way or another. If we eat the wrong food and end up with an inflamed gut, it only took one swallow. One slip of carelessness on the stairs or getting out of the shower; down we go and those weakened parts of your anatomy and mine will react violently for far more than a moment. A careless word to a loved one can last forever as it echoes throughout the relationship. One small muscle, neglected too long can pull a joint in a different direction, throwing off your entire stance. The wrong pair of shoes can ruin your gait, as in the way you walk, affecting all of your joints and spine. Too much time in the sun, even in winter, can affect many of us and cause a flare of disease.

Your life and mine are in the details of our daily lives. We have to be informed to make wise decisions. Appreciate those details as they pop up along the way. Please do it for yourself and do it for me and I will promise the same. Of course, we’ll trip along the way but we should each try to control the things we can and learn to leave the rest to the powers of life and fate. I guess I’m suggesting we learn to be controlling then learn to let it go. Can we do both?

Learn to Forgive Yourself. I still do things I know I should not do. I occasionally have such a craving I eat a food that will irritate me. I often stretch the limits when something needs to be cleaned, moved, etc. Don’t you? Life does jig along and we often have to do a jig with it. I can’t just sit in a corner and ponder life and I doubt if you can take much of that either.

Some of our poor decisions are because we forget the details, don’t buy the medications or supplies, don’t go to the doctor or sometimes, it’s just because we‘re human. Why is it often easier to forgive someone other than ourselves?

Well, that’s it from a nut’s shell, or is it in a nut shell? Either way, let’s keep jigging along together. I’m sorry you’re suffering but I do enjoy your company.

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