Every day, my friends and I meet up and end up getting called a ridiculous jumble of racial and anti-Semitic slurs and homophobic insults by people we’ve never met. Sometimes we’re told to kill ourselves or that we’re getting raped. It happens so often we’ve gotten used to it.

While it might seem like we’re driving through a KKK meeting with our hijabs, BLM shirts, yarmulkes, ISIS flags, and trans-pride bumper stickers, we’re actually loading up Counter Strike: Global Offensive (CS:GO).

The CS:GO community has seen massive growth since its release in 2012, and it has flourished as a stellar example for esports, with millions of dollars awarded in prize money and numerous Fortune-500 sponsors and investors. Valve and other tournament organizers have gone to many lengths to preserve the reputation of the game, including banning match-fixers, gambling websites, and most importantly, cheaters.

The types of insults I listed above are usually limited to private games, outside of Valve’s jurisdiction, but as of last month, Valve may have a new reason to ban community members: racism.

For his birthday on March 31st, Matthew “Sadokist” Trivett, an esteemed and popular CS:GO commentator and analyst, decided to live stream on Twitch.tv while drunk.

Sadokist answered a few questions, being far more blunt and transparent than his usual professional, suited-up persona. When notorious community member Don Haci engaged in the stream, appearing in the chat, Sadokist lashed out, telling Don Haci to kill himself.

It’s important to note that Sadokist and Haci have personal issues, with Haci releasing some of Sadokist’s personal messages and information on Twitter. Later in the night, while clearly very intoxicated, Sadokist decided to end a loud and boisterous statement on his skill by yelling the n-word at his stream. There was no pretense, shame, or regret. It was said directly and naturally, and clearly in a derogatory manner. While the community rushed to forums to discuss the clip (which will exist on the internet forever), Sadokist kept streaming without addressing his words until a public apology a few days after the incident.

Sadokist has been highly respected in the CS:GO community for years, with few controversial instances of note, holding desk positions at numerous large events and Valve-sponsored majors. His words and opinions carry weight in the scene, from his thousands of Twitter followers to the hundreds of thousands who watch the events he works. Sadokist’s outburst has naturally caused drama in the scene, with thousands of members of the community weighing in on his situation across different social media. And while many would consider Sadokist’s offence serious, and that there should be severe consequences, much of the CS:GO community seems to have different ideas.

Just a word?

The most common comments seen on Reddit, Twitter, and HLTV.org (where most of the online CS:GO community resides) go as followed: “I’m probably in the minority, but I don’t think this is that bad, and Sadokist isn’t a racist.”

Of course, these players aren’t in the minority. While there are comments that disagree, or that take a more nuanced view, most of the online community seems to think that Sadokist deserves an immediate second chance, or that he shouldn’t be punished at all. The gravity of the n-word, though in most other communities it would be deemed inexcusable, has also been debated, with a majority of the community taking the stance that “it’s just a word,” and that it has no extra connotations.

To take a deeper look on this controversial stance, we have to take a look at the CS:GO community itself. A high majority of CS:GO players are white, male, and in their teens to early 20s. Most CS:GO players reside in Russia or the United States, with many others scattered throughout Europe and a large community playing in Brazil. For most of its lifetime, professional CS:GO has been dominated by Europeans, though in the past few years Brazilian and North American teams have come into the spotlight more often. As of right now, there is not a single black professional player within the top 30 teams.

While CS:GO is certainly diverse in the cultures and countries of its player base, when it comes to race, there is far less representation. Of the top 10 European and North American teams, around 90% of players are white. With a game with European roots, it’s not surprising that the scene isn’t very diverse, and of course the game isn’t inherently racist. However, looking at the demographic of CS:GO is very telling about the community’s opinion on the severity of the n-word.

I don’t believe that the CS:GO community is racist, rather that lack of personal experience is the larger issue. The culture around the n-word is very different in Europe and even Canada, where Sadokist is from. In the United States, however, there is a long and bloody history behind the slur, involving the dehumanization of an entire group of people. And while the usage of the n-word in a derogatory manner may seem like a relic of the past, racism is alive and well in America. Nazi, KKK, and skinhead groups still walk through the streets, hoping for an America reminiscent of years ago when the n-word was commonplace. From outside of the USA, it may seem as though the n-word is nothing more than a common insult, but it’s important to remember the dark historical context.

A few years ago, I believe that Sadokist would have been crucified by the community for his actions, but in recent times, the attempted minimizing of the n-word by some of the internet has become a phenomenon. The main reasoning behind this idea is that the more we use a certain word in a casual sense, the less it starts to mean, and should people all start to call each other slurs on a daily basis, the slurs won’t have nearly the social effect that they have now.

While there may be good intentions behind the idea, the rampant and casual use of slurs to rip on your friends probably isn’t the best idea. While words like the n-word might not be said without racial connotations inside the bubble of a friend group or small online community, there will always be others who don’t think this way. There will always be people who mean to use slurs in their originally intended derogatory manner, and who truly believe in the power of the words they say. So long as people are still using the n-word to demean another race, the word can never fully become casual. The n-word, when used as an insult, will always be associated with racism so long as racists exist, and I don’t see them going away any time soon.

However, cultural differences and the minimization theory are not the only reasons that some of the community has risen up to defend Sadokist’s use of the n-word. The main reasoning is simple: he’s likeable. When someone with a large fanbase makes such a mistake and begins to receive criticism, their fans come out to play, insisting that whatever they did, it probably wasn’t that bad.

This has happened several times with popular Youtuber PewDiePie, most importantly when he said the n-word himself, angered by an opponent in PUBG. PewDiePie’s massive fanbase came to his defense immediately, attempting to excuse his use of the word. PewDiePie himself admitted to his mistake, apologized soon after, and said that his actions were inexcusable (much to the dismay of some of his fans).

A few weeks ago, Ninja, the current most popular stream on Twitch, let the n-word slip by accident when rapping along to a song (that doesn’t have the n-word in the part he rapped). While Ninja’s usage was much less severe, the clip still managed to work up quite a bit of controversy, and his huge fanbase emerged to say that he had done no wrong and should be forgiven immediately. Ninja apologized soon after as well, regretting having possibly offended anyone.

PewDiePie has over 62 million subscribers. Ninja pulls in over 100,000 viewers on a consistent basis. They are virtually celebrities, and Sadokist has a much smaller fanbase. Nevertheless, Sadokist has earned massive respect in the CS:GO community, and fans who want to continue to see him cast games, stream, and analyze are willing to defend him regardless of his actions.

Drunk words or sober thoughts?

To the best of my knowledge, Sadokist doesn’t believe that any other racial groups are inferior. While I don’t know what goes on behind the scenes, his apology does a fair job condemning any sort of racist beliefs. On top of this, he publicly condemned Overwatch player xQc for his allegedly racist use of the TriHard7 twitch emote. But how thin is the line between having racist intentions and yelling a racial slur at someone?

Many have claimed that alcohol was the reason behind Sadokist’s actions, but I would argue the opposite. While being drunk may make someone more susceptible to doing something stupid or saying something they might regret, it doesn’t fundamentally change anyone. Rather, alcohol gives people the confidence to act on their inner thoughts and desires. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes while under the influence, but I’ve never called anyone a scobberlotcher. Why? Because the word scobberlotcher isn’t in my vocabulary. If Sadokist yells the n-word while drunk, it’s could be something he says when he’s sober, and certainly occupies a large enough portion of his brain that it would come to the surface when he drinks.

So does Sadokist saying the n-word warrant calling him a racist? Yes and no. Someone’s actions and words are always more important than what think on the inside. Sadokist may not truly hold any racist beliefs, his use of a such a word in a casual manner propagates racist ideas. Yelling the n-word at your stream is equating the oppression of an entire group of people to a comment on your gaming skills, and it’s easy to see why Sadokist is being called racist.

What can Valve do?

Perhaps the reason the CS:GO community is so jaded in response to Sadokist’s words is because we hear similar things every time we play. I don’t think this is the fault of CS:GO itself, but more of an internet thing. Anonymity in-game gives people who comment edgy racist comments online the opportunity to have a voice. Maybe saying these words makes players feel powerful, or they enjoy getting a rise out of their fellow players. I’m still annoyed by people like this in game, but the community has generally accepted that there is nothing Valve can do to stop edgy kids playing their game.

For the most part, as your rank goes up, you’ll start to hear less and less random edgy nonsense. In the higher ranks, players are generally older and more mature, but the same cannot always be said for players of the highest caliber: the professionals.

While esports have strived to become more and more like “real” sports in their massive fanbases, huge sponsors, and professionalism, there will always be one dividing line: streaming. Streaming is a massive part of gaming culture, and thus carries over to esports like CS:GO, with professional players often livestreaming themselves playing the game with each other. Having the people who represent your game streaming their casual games naturally leads to some slipups. For years the CS:GO community has heard their favorite professional players call each other homophobic slurs and tell one another to kill themselves. Recently, on the 17th, a Brazilian player was called a monkey during a casual match.

In most conventional sports, this would be the cause of much controversy, but football and basketball players don’t live stream often, and thus don’t leave much room for bad language and sportsmanship. Physical sports leagues tend to be very professionalized as opposed to the more casual nature of esports. Streaming gives professional players a platform to broadcast their everyday lives, and the viewers naturally see some things that aren’t exactly perfect. Mistakes made on stream by those who represent the scene leads to eSports seeming less professional and gives some games and organizations a bad name.

However, while Valve policing the streams of players and community members like Sadokist might seem like the right idea on paper, the community backlash would be massive. Streaming has ingrained itself into esports culture, and has been an excellent way to blend the casual and professional scenes. Watching and getting advice from your favorite professional player is something physical sports simply cannot offer. On top of this, most professional matches and all major CS:GO tournaments are streamed on twitch.tv, the same site where individual players livestream.

Blizzard Gaming has seen massive amounts of hate for their over-policing of the Overwatch scene, fining and suspending players for what seem like casual offenses in a feeble attempt to become more accessible to sponsors. Blizzard’s movement to make Overwatch appear more professional is admirable, but in doing so they have alienated their community. I believe that adding to the professionalism and accessibility is the right idea, but companies like Blizzard and Valve must not forget the roots of gaming and how their games differ from physical sports scenes. Streaming and casual play are integral parts of eSports, and simply tossing these aspects aside in hopes for new sponsors naturally provokes community backlash. Esports organizations should strive for professionalism while retaining the culture of their game.

With this in mind, Valve is fairly limited in what they can do about Sadokist. I doubt most of the community wants him permanently banned, and it’s mostly up to individual tournament organizers to determine whether he can show up. However, Valve is known for setting examples. Players who cheat on Valve servers become permanently banned, and players who have thrown matches have also been banned for life (regardless of the community’s opinion). CS:GO has grown throughout the years with little controversy outside of gambling (which Valve is still trying to curb), and Valve may have reason to believe that a prominent community member spurting out racial slurs and telling people to kill themselves might hinder future growth and sponsorships. It’s also important to note that Sadokist has been banned by Twitch until he makes an appeal (which he may choose not to). He cannot appear on any streams, and thus cannot attend any professional tournaments streamed on twitch (AKA all the relevant ones).

While it may not align with my personal opinion, I believe that Valve should consider permanently (or at least for one year) banning Sadokist from any future Valve sponsored tournaments.

Should they do this, other organizers will likely follow suit as they have in the past (though perhaps with less severe sentences).

If Valve wants to continue to expand the CS:GO scene, taking in more viewers and larger sponsors, they simply cannot be represented by someone surrounded by so much controversy. Celebrities like Hulk Hogan, Paula Deen, and Mel Gibson have been cut off by their sponsorships and opportunities for similar reasons. While it’s important to understand that we are discussing someone’s livelihood, I choose to think of it as Sadokist being fired from Valve. At any normal job, firing an employee would be the right course of action in such a situation. Esports and gaming have been seen as racist and sexist for years and keeping around someone after their use of a racial slur simply fuels these ideas. Banning Sadokist could set an example that such language will not be tolerated.

Should Valve ban Sadokist, there will doubtlessly be backlash from the community, but I don’t believe that the game will lose a significant amount of its player base. Sadokist is an excellent caster and analyst, and his loss would be felt, but there are other community members who can represent the game, those who have yet to spout racial slurs on stream or tell viewers to kill themselves.

Sadokist may have just made a simple mistake, but that mistake carries implications for the entire scene, and Valve could very well make a public or even behind-the-scenes call to remove him from future events.

However, regardless of what Sadokist has done, I don’t think that Valve will act upon it. Valve notoriously ignores CS:GO, regardless of the money it makes them, and the game often goes for months without major updates or developer communication. Valve simply does not care about CS:GO enough to meddle with such a controversial issue. Either they are more worried about potential community backlash than actual community growth, or they just don’t care at all.

Most likely, Sadokist won’t show up to tournaments for a few more months before he is welcomed back into the community with open arms. His incident will made fun of every now and then, but people will forget its severity, and his CS:GO career will prosper. The community will always care more about analysts they know and trust than future sponsors and scene growth, and maybe that’s okay.

Final thoughts

The CS:GO community is quite young. I was 15 when I started playing and I’ve played with countless players in their tweens and early teens. Younger players are often less mature and tend to have less of an understanding of the power of their words. It took me quite a while to realize that I was an extremely toxic player myself.

It took a player on my own team calling me out for trash-talking to make me truly self-reflect on my own edginess and toxicity. While after this I did my best to reform, that game was one of the few times I’ve ever seen someone step up to stop racism, sexism, homophobia or bullying in the game. I don’t think that most CS:GO players align themselves with such beliefs, but that they would rather just play the game than to deal with such problems.

I certainly understand where players are coming from when they just want to play without politics. When I hear someone yelling rampant slurs in game, it doesn’t seem like there’s much I can do to stop them. A videogame is no place for political discussion, and it shouldn’t have to be, but I do believe that the community should try to take steps forward in keeping the reputation of our beloved game out the dirt by being less accepting towards racist edginess in general. This starts with professional players taking on such an attitude and understanding the ­­influence they have on the younger players who watch their streams. When the pros stop saying they raped the losing team and stop telling each other to commit suicide, hopefully the community will soon follow suit.

And of course, the Sadokist debacle mostly begs the question: how hard is it to just not say the n-word? Incidents such as these shouldn’t be a problem at all with mature adults representing a professional community.