TWT #169 –

On June 18th, 1178, five monks in Canterbury reported to their abbey that they witnessed a massive explosion on the moon which sent forth “fire, hot coals and sparks” into space.

Hear me out, here, but I’m pretty sure the explanation is…

But we’ll get back to that. What did these monks actually see?

According to the abbey’s chronicler, Gervase, the five monks were out and about when, all of a sudden, just after sunset they saw “the upper horn [of the moon] split in two” and then “a flaming torch sprang up, spewing out, over a considerable distance, fire, hot coals and sparks.”

The moon itself moved and “throbbed like a wounded snake” before returning to normal. Even more conspicuous is that “This phenomenon was repeated a dozen times or more, the flame assuming various twisting shapes at random and then returning to normal.”

The monks were all probably terrified, but since they couldn’t really do much about it, they just kept on being monks, doin’ their monk thang.

Fast forward to 1976 when geologist Jack Hartung, in his attempt to shine a light on how a large crater (the Giordano Bruno crater, if we’re being specific here) was formed on the far side of the moon. Since Jack himself was an avid reader of 12th century abbey chronicles (I’m making that up), he proposed that what the monks saw was the formation of said crater.

Boom. Case closed. It was just a meteor.

…or was it?

Another researcher pointed that, had a meteor of that size hit the moon in 1178, there would be reports of a week-long meteor shower over the entire world.

Alas, there were no sightings of said shower. So what caused the explosions?

One more thing I need to point out… why were there multiple explosions? Several objects of approximately the same size impacted the moon within minutes of each other? What are the odds those were meteors?

And so, we get back to the only argument that makes any sense at all

That’s right, folks, the Autobots landed on the moon in 1178 and the government has been covering it up ever since!

WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!

(p.s. if you enjoyed this Terrible take on history, sign up for our newsletter for exclusive Terrible content!)

Email address: Leave this field empty if you’re human: