In the U.S., we think we know how to do reality television. But after watching this clip, I'm not so sure.

A late-night porn-themed variety talk show decided to do a spoof on Hoko x Tate, a primetime television program that pairs opposites against each other to see who wins. Thus was born "Orgasm Wars," where a gay man performs oral sex on a straight porn star in an attempt to bring him to climax... against his will. That's right, we're talking competitive, combative blow jobs here, folks.

There's battle music playing in the background as the two adversaries face off: Ryou Sawai (a straight male porn star "who is sure he will not come"), and Takuya, a rotund, effete gay businessman ("He walks with the charisma of a leading lady," the announcer says) who owns a bar named "Cholesterol." Seriously. Takuya, Sawai, and Sawai's manager bow and exchange pleasantries and business cards.

Sawai and his manager both express confidence that he will be able to resist Takuya's skills. Takuya is equally sure that he will prevail. Then the taunting commences. "I am a professional actor in the porn industry," Sawai brags, "whereas it's a hobby for you, right?" "I do this for real. Doing it for real and acting are quite different," Takuya responds.

After a little more back-and-forth like this, they step into a special fellatio booth and the challenge commences.

I won't tell you how it ends; you'll have to watch the video after the jump. (Believe it or not, it's technically not NSFW because there's no nudity involved.) I know it sounds ridiculous, but trust me, you'll end up watching the whole thing.