It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Can I report my daughter’s workplace affair to HR?

I am a supervisor in the security department at a hospital. My 27-year-old daughter, with two young daughters of her own, also works at the hospital in a different department. She has since entered into a relationship with a married gentleman who works directly under me.

I have spoken to both of them about terminating this relationship because I feel it is improper. Their behavior is also causing lots of gossip at work, which makes me very uncomfortable. Do I have a case for going to HR?

No. As long as neither of them has authority over the other, and as long as their relationship isn’t causing disruption at work, their private relationship isn’t something HR would have any standing to intervene in (nor do you as this man’s manager, for that matter). You also risk a serious breach in your relationship with your daughter if you attempt to jeopardize her employment by involving HR.

I can understand why you’re dismayed and disappointed, but you can’t use her employer as a cudgel here.

2. Was I rude to the person taking my fast food order?

The other day, I walked into a McDonald’s. The cashier ran outside with someone’s order and stated she would be right back. No problem there. When she got back, she let me know she was ready for my order. I waited a couple seconds for her to get behind the counter, and as I’m about to order, another employee next to her butts in and asks her what time she gets off today. I said, “Excuse me, it’s my turn to order, you can gossip later.” Did I go overboard here? Should I have just stayed quiet and put my tail between my legs? I felt it was rather rude she interrupted her on my time.

Yes, you were rude. You could have said, “Excuse me, I’m in a bit of a hurry — would you mind if I ordered now?” But “you can gossip later” was weirdly hostile. (Plus, asking someone what time their shift ends isn’t gossip — and for all we know, could have been a work-related question with some urgency to it if they were trying to determine coverage.)

3. How to approach an exit interview at a two-person organization

I have given my two weeks notice at a very challenging job at a very small nonprofit, and I am trying to plan so my last days go as smoothly as possible. I have an exit interview with my boss this week.

How can I best approach an exit interview conversation when my boss is the only other employee here? There are only two of us, so there is no one else who could conduct the interview. She has emphasized that she really hopes I can be honest about why I started looking for other jobs, what worked about my position, and what was challenging either about the position or about how I was managed.

My boss is a large part of the reason why I am leaving. I told her when I gave notice that I was leaving for a “great” opportunity, but the truth is it’s a lateral move that gives me better benefits and more coworkers. I was told I was hired to learn and grow with the organization, but I was given no oversight, support, or structure. My boss is too busy to be a manager, and I always felt as if I were wasting her time when I asked questions. Additionally this tiny organization has terrible benefits, and a huge part of my salary was going towards trying to make up for not having benefits by planning for healthcare and retirement. Is it best to stick to the shortest version of the truth like I did when I gave notice, or would it be beneficial to let her in on more specific reasons for leaving she asked about, some of which involve her directly?

How open is your boss to hearing feedback about herself? Is she someone who gets defensive, or does she have a track record of being truly open and handling dissent well? If she does have a good track record, you could consider sharing some of this with her — although even then, I wouldn’t dump it all on her but rather would pick two or three things to share. (Even if she’s great with feedback, hearing a litany of all the ways you were unhappy might change the way she thinks of you, regardless of how open to it she wants to be.) But if she doesn’t have that track record, there’s no incentive for you to risk harming the relationship just as you’re leaving, and potentially jeopardizing future references from her as well. In that case, I’d just mention the benefits thing, as that’s pretty impersonal feedback, and otherwise stick to what you said when you gave notice.

4. Will it reflect poorly on me if my husband turns down a job with my company?

My husband has been unemployed for several years due to moves, career changes, and plain bad luck. I have been at my new company for four months now, and it’s a great fit for me. I really like my boss, the people, and the culture. It’s a privately owned, local company and they tend to give hiring preference to relatives and spouses of current employees. I told HR my husband was looking for a job and they were kind enough to bring him in for an interview when a position opened up. He didn’t hear anything for about a month after the interview with my company, which is fine, but during this time he accepted a conditional offer for a government job. This job pays about the same as the job with my company, but it has much better benefits and aligns more with his career goals. However, he is still going through the background check and clearance process for the government job. He has no start date yet, so even though he really wants this position he’s been trying to continue his job search. Just yesterday he was told by my company that he is one of the top three candidates for the position he interviewed for, and they invited him to come back in for one final interview before they make a decision.

His first choice is the government job, but I think he is doing the right thing by continuing to pursue other opportunities until he completely passes the background check and has a firm start date. My company would be his second choice if the government job does not work out. What I’m wondering is this: if he ends up receiving an offer from my company, would it reflect poorly on me if he turned it down for the government job? I really appreciate my company giving him this opportunity, and I don’t want them to feel like they wasted their time meeting with him. If the government job does not pan out he would definitely accept the job at my company, so I don’t believe he is acting in bad faith but I would just like to make sure.

No, not at all! Interviewing for a job doesn’t obligate you to accept it. And most job seekers are applying with multiple companies, which always means there could be competing offers — and even if there aren’t, people can turn down jobs for all sorts of other reasons (like not being able to come to terms on salary, realizing the fit just isn’t right for them, etc.). None of that changes just because he’s married to an employee there.

The one caution I’d give is that he shouldn’t accept the job with your company if he might quit it soon afterwards once the government job comes through. That risks reflecting badly on you. But simply turning down the offer is absolutely fine. (He should do it graciously, of course — meaning he should thank them for the opportunity, express appreciation for their time, and explain the other job was simply too good to pass up.)

5. Can I ask to work from home because of my terrible allergies?

I have terrible, terrible allergies, and lately things have started to get pretty intense. My doctor currently has me taking four different prescription medicines, and I am planning on starting immunotherapy/allergy shots soon to start getting my symptoms under control. The medicine and the procedures are really starting to take a toll on my energy levels, to the point that I think it might be worth considering working from home one or two days a week. I’ve worked from home a few times before on the weekends to help with heavy workload (the summertime is an incredibly busy time of year in my field), but we’re a fairly small business of 20-30 people and telework is generally only used for employees who once worked in the office but had to move out of state. I’d prefer it to be a temporary arrangement too, only for the seven months to a year, in the “building-up” phase of treatment.

My husband is encouraging me to ask, but I’m hesitant. He’s a graduate student, which affords him a lot of flexibility that is not often found in my professional field. Am I overthinking this? And if I am, how would I request telecommuting in a way that shows my employer that I am not trying to take advantage of them? I can’t shake the feeling of how silly it feels to be asking for work privileges for allergies.

It’s not silly to ask for accommodations for terrible allergies. Allergies at their worst can be debilitating. Talk to your boss and explain the situation! And don’t just say “allergies,” but explain how severe they are — that you’re on four different medicines and are starting shots soon because they’re still not controlled, that your symptoms are X and Y, and that you’re finding it impacts your energy on days when you go outside (or whatever the case is). And then explain what you’re asking for and why it would help. The answer may or may not be yes, but in an office where people can go fully remote when they move, I think you have a decent shot at it, but even if you’re turned down, it’s not going to come across as presumptuous or weird to ask.