We last mentioned Dorian, the Japanese robot programmed with seven distinctly terrifying expressions, way back in 2009. Since then, he's been upgraded to be funny, and we now have actual footage of Dorian in action. Even though the robot is "joking," you may never goddamned laugh again.


Dorian — who was named well before Michael Ealy played an infinitely more humorous robot on Almost Human — was created by scientists at Waseda University, and they've apparently be working tirelessly over the last five years to give him these capabilities. And according to their recently released paper (helpfully summarized by IEEE Spectrum), it worked:

Both before and after watching KOBIAN, the volunteers were asked to complete a questionnaire on their mood. The researchers used a psychological test called POMS, or profile of mood states, used to assess how people are feeling. The results show that the mood of the volunteers seems to have improved after watching KOBIAN, as indicated by POMS scores associated with negative feelings like stress and anger, which the researchers say "significantly decreased."


I guess my mood technically improved after I watched Dorian, in the sense that I knew I had finally seen the face of true evil, and would never, ever have to experience anything quite so horrible ever again. At least, not until the apocalypse arrives, and our new robot overlords try to tell us jokes while they snap our necks like celery stalks.

[Via Uproxx]