If you want to be a REAL christian, you will do the following, at a minimum.

A good start would be to get a christian lady's haircut. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you soon will. It's sort of like if Beaver Cleaver's mother let Ward give her a haircut and a do.

Make your own clothes from drab colors, everything two sizes too big.

Start praying conspicuously at every meal.

Manage to mention the bible in every single conversation; make parallels to what's going on to passages from the bible, condemn other peoples' behavior by citing bible verses, etc.

Attribute everything good that happens to you to God's blessing; anything negative attribute to either Satan or a trial by God.

Conversely, anything negative in anyone else's life attribute to divine affliction caused by their unrepentant sinfulness.

You get the idea. Stick with it and you, too will be a REAL christian.