LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Local construction worker Lesley Scott (38) is reported to be complaining about a headache again during a busy work day.



As his colleagues rush to finish the construction of a building that will need to be evacuated in five years due to structural faults, Scott claims he has a stress related migraine.



His colleagues however say stress has nothing to do with Scott’s headache and that it may actually be related to the 1.25L bottle of Coke Scott drinks every smoko.



“I don’t drink a 1.25L bottle every smoko,” stated an irate Scott.



“Sometimes the 2L bottles are on special for half the price of normal bottles, I’m not stupid.”



Scott states that his cola consumption is not what is giving him a headache and is actually a good way for him to stay caffeinated and hydrated.



“Plus, if I don’t have it I get cranky and my hands start shaking a bit.”



Aside from the headaches, medical professionals such as Scott’s long suffering dentist state there are long term effects associated with his daily Coke consumption that could effectively be measured in litres.



“He has the only smile I’ve seen that could be improved by losing a couple of teeth.”



Not worried about fussy opinions from medical professionals, Scott maintains that his headaches are stress related, demanding more time for him to hydrate with a carbonated black beverage humans are less attune to drinking than alcohol.



“Does anyone have some Panadol please?”





