Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A team associated with MSG tanks midway through the season to secure a top draft pick. Ahh, but this time it worked as the pingpong balls determined the Liberty, who played two games at Barclays Center this season, will pick first in the WNBA draft. Insiders tell Stitches the suits at MSG can’t decide whether to take 4-foot-8 shooting guard Simone Biles or power forward Ronda Rousey.

Whistleblowers are calling for Stitches’ immediate impeachment as we close out the regular season. Looking to build a little momentum this weekend as we move to the postseason. The underachieving San Diego Machados end their year in Arizona. Garrett Richards, fully recovered after undergoing Tommy John surgery, has made two starts, surrendering seven runs over five cautious innings. Diamondbacks counter with Robbie Ray, who will look to add to his career-high 225 Ks on the year. Ray is 12-8, but the Padres pounded him for four runs over 5 ¹/₃ frames last Sunday. Play 20 units on the D’backs.

Rays are in. Indians are out. Tampa Bay clipped the Blue Jays 6-2 to clinch a wild card. Tommy Pham and Austin Meadows went deep. Victory takes us to -869 baldellis.