Følgende er en mailutveksling mellom meg («Reodor Felgen») og to nigeriasvindlere ved navn Benardo Tobi og Philip Nwosu. Svindlerne sendte først de sedvanlige mailene om en enorm arv som jeg kunne få en del av dersom jeg gikk med på å hjelpe dem med hvitvasken. I stedet bestemte jeg meg for å få dem til å bruke litt av sin dyrebare tid og energi på å bygge en olabil.

Jeg har ikke lengre den originale svindelmailen, og starter derfor med mitt første svar til Benardo Tobi.

Reodor Felgen, Aug 25, 2006:

Dear Mr Tobi, I am Reodor Felgen, president of the International Billy Cart Racing Association (I.B.C.R.A.). I got your email address forwarded to me by my secretary, and I am writing this email because I have been looking for a contact to help us establish a branch of our association in West Africa. I don’t know if you are familiar with billy cart racing, but here is some background information. The International Billy Cart Racing Association is responsible for arranging downhill billy cart races mainly throughout northern Europe but also in other areas, and we are looking to expand. We have arranged races for almost 7 years, and we are experiencing a period of great economic growth because of the increasing popularity of our dare devil sport. Our contestants build their own carts which are then used to race down variously steep hills of various length. The winners earn a monetary prize of anything between  2,000 to  50,000 (EUR) per race, and we are planning to raise the size level of these prices in the near future, as a result of the economic growth we are experiencing. This will make several of our contestants able to race professionaly, full time. The International Billy Cart Racing Association started out as a hobby project among friends, but has now become an influental organization which attracts many sponsors because of the rapidly growing popularity of billy cart racing. We have attracted crowds of up to 40,000 spectators to watch races in various cities of northern Europe. Our profits exceeded  3,200,000 in 2005 and we are finally in a position to make investments in order to spread the growth of our sport. Upon approval, the right candidate to assist us set up a new branch will be equipped with the necessary funding and infrastructure to establish a local office. The chosen candidate will of course also receive an apt compensation for his or her efforts. If you are interested in assisting us, please get back to me as soon as you can, and I will provide the details of our plans. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Svaret lot ikke vente på seg, og svindleren var ute av standardmanuskriptet sitt med en gang. Følgende mail ble sendt 3 ganger:

Benardo Tobi, Aug 26, 2006:

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail, which was well understood and noted. It is my pleasure to inform you that I am interested to help you achieve this noble aim, so I hereby request the full detailed operation of your organization. As soon as I hear from you ,I will ensure its success ,and make sure that you do not disappoint me because I have commence investigations about this sport,so definitely ,if I hear from you ,I will be able to make an input . Thanks Barrister Benardo Tobi

Reodor Felgen, Aug 26, 2006:

Dear Mr Tobi, Thank you for your positive reply. I am pleasantly surprised to hear that you have investigated into the sport. I know it is not very big in Africa, but we want it to be, hence this approach. To get your local chapter approved you must execute a standard testing procedure which we have used for opening our chapters around Europe. As soon as this procedure is finished you will be granted the necessary funding and infrastructure to set up an office, and we will equip you with documents and instructions on how to arrange a race as well as tips and instructions on how to market the race and draw spectators and contestants. A delegate from our headquarters will fly to your location in order to assist you with the first steps. Following below are the steps of the procedure. These must be carried out to the satisfaction of our board of directors, and documented by photographies in order to get approved for setting up a new branch of the I.B.C.R.A. The procedure consists of building a billy cart and testing it, and was developed for new branches to devote themselves to the sport. When this is done, you must fill out a form, and then you will be good to go. Step 1. Build a billy cart. This can be built easily by using the wheels of a perambulator (baby pram) or another old device on wheels such as a lawn mower or similar, implemented on a chassis made of wood or metal. For steering, a piece of rope should be enough. Use your imagination when building your cart. We require only a very simple one. However, the more original, imaginative and complex the cart turns out, the more fun it will be for you and the more points will be scored with the board in respect to the approval process. For examples of billy carts and basic construction, see the images attached to this mail. Step 2. Take your billy cart for a test run. You must find a suitable hill that is no less than 30 meters long, and steep enough to give your cart some degree of propulsion. Ride the cart down the hill to make sure that it moves forward good enough, and that your steering and breaks work well. Step 3. Once step 1 & 2 have been completed, we will mail you our contract form. You will need to print this form and fill all required spaces of it. When you have filled the form, you must scan it and send the scanned document back to us as attachments to an email, or alternatively return it to us by fax. Note: Step 1 and 2 must be documented by taking photographies of the procedure. You will send the photographies back to us as attachments to an email. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

En haug med tilfeldige olabil-bilder fra Google Images var vedlagt denne mailen:

Reodor Felgen, Aug 26, 2006:

I’m sorry, but I forgot to attach the images to the previous mail. They are instead attached to this one. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Benardo Tobi, Aug 28, 2006:

DEAR SIR I wish to commend a job well done by your association, and promise to ensure its establishment down here. In view of this, my country has an estimated population of 160 million people and the most populous black nation in the world as well as the largest country in Africa, so with this, very sports will be highly attractive and accepted beyond my country. Therefore, I suggest that you send to me immediately these sample you have identified in your mail through courier service, so as to have a clear picture of the race and commence it as directed by you . As you indicate interest in sending this to me, you let me know so that I can be able to give you direction of how you should send it for immediate action, because I know that this will attract immediate attention. I know that this sports is very new in this part of the world and I also know that it will develop into a major sports in Africa as time progresses, therefore, you should ensure its success and development. When you send the sample, then we can be able to follow suit and all the procedures will be followed immediately. Looking forward hearing from you. Regards Barrister Benardo Tobi

Reodor Felgen, Aug 28, 2006:

Dear Mr Tobi, Thanks again for your interest in taking part of this. The beauty of billy cart racing is that everyone can participate. Building a cart is an art that anyone can master, with little or no practice. Everyone who builds a cart can use their imagination to come up with something original, or look at previously built ones and try to build something similar. However, we do not provide samples or detailed instructions as to how to build a cart. By leaving the whole process up to each person who wants to make one, we get many interesting results, and we wish to keep it that way. Billy cart racing goes way further than racing down a hill, impulsive ideas and original thinking are parts of our sport that we embrace proudly. To be clear; The approval process must be finished before we can arrange for the rest, and it must be finished by our candidates alone. As I am sure you understand, we consider creativity an important part of the totality of billy cart racing. We want to keep the sport fun. Please consider going through with the approval process as described in my previous mail to you, and keep in mind that as soon as the process is completed, we will provide you all the help you need to get the new branch on its feet. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Benardo Tobi, Aug 30, 2006:

DEAR SIR It is my pleasure to inform you that we have make a little research as regards to this very sport ,this is the first kind of its type in this part of the world,therefore,we need some more explanations as how this is done. Regarding to your refusal to send the sample of this equipment used for the sport, there is no way one can be able to know how this equipment is designed or constructed without having physically one of its samples with us here so as to enable us construct one from this sample. You should also know that we are not developed in such a way that one can have access to materials used in its construction, and everything here involved money, technical, assistant and some experts to have it on course. Therefore, I still deem it fit for your association to please send the sample as soon as possible so that we can involve some experts as well as source for the material for its production. So far, some sports ministry officials has given us go ahead order to ensure its success, so I need your immediate assistant and as regards to the construction of this bill cart race equipment. Also , I need all the comprehensive information ,data, and catalogue of this sports ,because I know that this is going to be a big event here as soon as we are through with this initial commencement . I understand fully all your last mail but we need to know how this is build ,this is where the problem is and as soon as we can be able to build this, I promise you that all will be okay ,and that is why you should reconsider your refusal in sending samples so that creativity will take its course ,I know that our people here are creative minded but they need to know how this is done for the starting of this sport. I look forward hearing from you . Regards Barrister Benardo Tobi

Reodor Felgen, Aug 30, 2006:

Dear Mr Tobi, As you can see from the photos I sent in a previous mail, the billy cart is a very simple construction. There is no right or wrong way to make one. The only real «requirements» are that the cart has 4 wheels, and some way of steering. People have been known to implement wheels from prams, lawmowers, and similar small vehicles. To be able to turn the cart, you could do something as simple as fastening the 2 front wheels to the ends of a small plank, which in turn is fastened to the chassis by a single screw so that the plank is able to move the wheels back and forth, hence turning left or right. Then implement a piece of rope to the plank with the wheels, enabling you to turn left or right by simply pulling the rope in either direction. These are just examples. Anyone can construct their cart the way that they want to. We want the candidates to come up with their own ideas, and so we do not send samples or instructions. As I mentioned, it’s is all about creativity, and it is also non-negotiable. I realize that you may have problems finding materials, but again, the billy cart is a simple construction, and you will not need a lot of material. We will of course reimburse all your costs along the way when the approval process has been finished. Please understand that these are demands we make to all candidates, and they are not open for discussion. If you do not want to go through with the process, let me know, and I will contact someone else. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Benardo Tobi, Aug 31, 2006:

Dear Sir I wish to acknowledge the receipt of your mail which was well noted .

Anyway, I have decided to commence the arrangement for the building of the cart bill race equipment, as soon as I am through, I will inform you for further proceedings. Thanks Barrister Benardo Tobi

Reodor Felgen, Aug 31, 2006:

Dear Mr Tobi, This is excellent news! I’m looking forward to hear from you again. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Reodor Felgen, Sep 11, 2006:

Dear Mr Tobi, It’s been 11 days now, how are you progressing? Please let me know if everything is going as planned. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Benardo Tobi, Sep 11, 2006:

DEAR SIR I wish to acknowledge the receipt of your mail which was well noted.It is my pleasure to inform you that everything is going as planned ,and I have procured some of the required materials . Alos ,I am looking for the service of the expert who will make the construction work possible. Meanwhile ,By the next couple of days,I will get you informed and I will ensure that we contruct one for your perusal sample . As soon as the plan is concluded,I will inform you immediately for further action. If I may ask you,sir,may I know the size of the wheels of the cart race ,or is it any size or tyre? Thanks Barrister Benardo Tobi

Benardo Tobi, Sep 13, 2006:

DEAR Sir This is to bring to your knowledge that we are about concluding the building of the Kart Race,and in a possible shortest time,you will be informed as well as the pictured send to you for confirmation,and also we have win some sports men and women for the race. As soon as we are through,I hope your office will give it a speedy consideration for the immediate commencement of this sports program. Thanks Barrister Benardo Tobi.

Reodor Felgen, Sep 13, 2006:

Dear Mr Tobi, Thank you for your mail, this is great news in deed. I am sorry about my late reply but I have been in meetings for the last few days. As for restrictions on wheel size, the maximum allowed diameter is 80 cm. However, wheels that large tend not work as well as smaller wheels, and contestants usually do not exceed 50 cm. There are no minimum restrictions. I am looking forward to seeing the result of your work. Please rest assured that your efforts will have the immediate attention of not only myself, but also the rest of our board. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Benardo Tobi, Sep 25, 2006:

Dear Sir This is to apologize for the delay in sending this sample to you ,it was as a result of little finishing touches on the path of the equipment. Therefore, I wish to inform you that this sample will be send to you on or before Friday this week for immediate commencement of this project as soon as possible. Thanks Barrister Benardo Tobi

Reodor Felgen, Sep 25, 2006:

Dear Mr Tobi, Thank you for letting me know the status. I will expect a new mail by friday then. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Reodor Felgen, Oct 2, 2006:

Friday passed with no new mail. How are you progressing? Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Benardo Tobi, Oct 2, 2006:

Dear Sir It is my pleasure to inform you that everything is very okay,and I am happy to inform you that by Thursday this week, The picture will be send to you as promised last week but due to some circumstances beyond our contol,we were not able to accomplish as promised, but now everything will be sent to your good office as promised. May I also appeal to you to ensure that this is successful because we have done everything within our rich here to make this sport successful as we will wait for your confirmation as we send this picture to your office. We are very pround to associate with you and your association ,and promise to do everything within our reach to make this success. Thanks for your patience. and God Bless. Regards Bernardo Tobi

Reodor Felgen, Oct 5, 2006:

Dear Mr Tobi, I am not quite sure I understand what you mean by «appeal to you to ensure that this is successful» and «we will wait for your confirmation as we send this picture»? Please explain. Looking forward to hear from you again and to continue the process. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Benardo Tobi, Oct 6, 2006:

DEAR Sir This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail .Referenced to your question Sir, is that as soon as I send the sample of the sports equipment to your good office ,let it be given adequate attention because we are making sure that we provide for you what you need from us for the immediate take off of this project here in Nigeria. The equipment is ready Sir but I am waiting for the person solely responsible for this project ,and he will be back tomorrow and as soon as he is back, the equipment will be scanned to you for confirmation and immediate process to take effect. I thought that he would be back by last two days but he later called me that he will be back by tomorrow so, the following day, he will scan it to your good office. I look forward for your response. Thanks Barrister Benardo Tobi

Reodor Felgen, Oct 6, 2006:

Dear Mr Tobi, Our board members are eager to see the results of your efforts. Do not worry about our attention, I can assure you this is a very high priority subject in our agenda for the coming year. We are all looking very much forward to see your achievements and to continue the work on establishing this branch of the I.B.C.R.A. Please keep me in the loop if any more delays are coming your way. We are unable to continue the process untill you have sent us the photos, therefore I hope you can provide them as soon as possible. We need all the time we can get when we start working with you on setting up the infrastructure, equipment, etc, needed for the local office, so please try not to delay this any more. Looking forward to hear from you again. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Benardo Tobi, Oct 12, 2006:

ATTENTION Sir This is to inform you that I have send the photo-copy sample of the required sample for the take off of this sports and I have not re-confirmed from your good office whether this sample has been received or not. Therefore, I wish to enquire whether your good office has received the said sample and as I stated in that mail to your office. I still wish to re-confirm to you that I have giving the power of authority to MR. PHILIP I.NWOSU to further discuss and continue with the proceedings of your organization for the immediate commencement of this project to its final conclusions, and if there is any thing to discuss ,it should be directed to him for further proceedings. He is a man of honesty, prudent,hard-working and trustworthy ,for he has the fear of God in everything that he does. As I stated in my last mail to you Sir, I will be leaving for my country in the next few days because I have not met my families for years and I have decided to go home and settle with them, I am very sorry that it happens this time that you may need my services . All thing been equal, MR.PHILIP is a very good man, and he is the one who has been taking care as well as ensuring that this project succeeds ,so he is there for you. I wish you and your organization happy coming . Thanks Barrister Benardo Tobi

Et par dager tidligere fikk jeg denne:

Benardo Tobi, Oct 10, 2006:

Note: forwarded message attached. POWER OF ATTORNEY

Dear Sir It is my utmost pleasure to inform you that the sample is ready and you will find enclosed copy of the sample. Nothwistanding,I also wish to inform you that I barrister Benardo Tobi ,hereby transfer the power of authority to MR.PHILIP I. NWOSU for further transactions of this project to its final conclusion. The reason was that I am very old and I wish to stay with the rest of my family in my country because I am not a Nigerian. Mr. Philip I.Nwosu is a man of integrity, hard working, sincere and God fearing, so feel free to work with him so that he can give you the best of him. All this while, he has been working to ensure that this project progresses to its logical conclusion and therefore, with him everything is possible. Sir ,make sure that you did not disappoint him ,you can reach him on his e-mail address at Philip_nwosu@yahoo.com His Telephone number is 234-8055339504 Please Sir, co-operate with him and this project will be a huge success. Thanks BENARDO TOBI Attached image:

…etterfulgt av denne, fra vår nye venn, herr Philip Nwosu:

Philip Nwosu, Oct 10, 2006:

ATTENTION Sir, You may wonder who is writing to you this day, I am Mr.PhilipI.Nwosu from Nigeria. I wish to let you know that Barrister Benardo has directed me to take over this project for further development as well as to continue from where he stopped in ensuring that this sports is given a wider acceptance Therefore, all further proceedings shall be directed to me for with. I therefore promise to work with you and your association and sort for your total co-operation so as to achieve this noble objective. You are highly welcomed and God Bless. I look forward for your respond. Regards MR.PHILIP.I.NWOSU God Bless Us Amen. Tel.234-8055339504

Dette er uhørt. Et sinna svar var på sin plass, til både Philip og Benard:

Reodor Felgen, Oct 12, 2006:

Dear Mr Tobi, We have received your photo. It has been subject of discussions in our office since I received it, and I regret to inform you that I am very disappointed, as is our board. The photo is not acceptable. We require photos of the complete cart, and we require photos of it IN ACTION. These requirements were described in mails I sent to you in august, and they are non-negotiable. Our board is growing impatient with the way you have dealt with this matter so far. There have been several delays, and the photo we finally received was of a very poor quality. We have been looking forward to start working on this project, but right now hope is fading for a quick start. If you cannot provide proper photographies as described earlier, we will continue our search for another candidate suited to assist us starting the new branch, rather than continue to work with you. Consider this your last chance. I personally have been believing in your ability to go through with the project, but I am disappointed with the outcome. A copy of this mail will be sent to your partner, mr Nwosu. I expect an answer from either one of you as soon as you read this mail, and I hope that you are willing to provide proper photos ASAP. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Philip Nwosu tok så over for Benardo Tobi.

Philip Nwosu, Oct 13, 2006:

Dear Sir This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail which is very vital at this moment.. I wish to let you know that another photographs pictures will be send to you by Monday next week . This is due to the delay in bring them out after the snapping of them by the photographer ,because it will last for one week before it can be taken from them. Therefore, I promise to keep to your directives as regards to the development of this sport the first of its kind in Nigeria. Sir, I also appeal for patient so as to enable me put this in its proper perspective.. I promise to give you the best of my ability. Regarding to the test run as recommended by you, the distance by which we can be able to make this test run as directed by your good office is about 1,800 miles from Lagos Nigeria which requires some fund for its accomplishment,therefore,I need some time for this to be accomplished ,because, I have to source for the fund as well as the make arrangement for the logistics, and transport, as well as make a little provision for fees to be paid before making use of such a facility. In addition, what I needed at this moment is your word of encouragement, directives so as to make this a successful one, by the time I send the clear picture of this equipment to you ,you will know that I really mean well for the development of this sport in Nigeria. Thanks and God Bless Mr.Philip.I.Nwosu Tel. 234-8055339504

Reodor Felgen, Oct 16, 2006:

Dear Mr Nwosu, I do not understand why you think you have to travel 1800 miles in order to go through with the test run. The requirements are not to go from the top of a mountain, but a suitable hill. Surely there must be one closer to your location than 1800 miles away? Looking forward to hear from you. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Philip Nwosu, Oct 16, 2006:

ATTENTION Sir This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail this day. It is also my pleasure to inform you that the clearer pictures of the sample have been attached to this mail for your perusal. As regards to the test run, I have to sort for police clearance before I will embark on this ,probably by next week ,I will be able to get you the pictures of the test run . I wait for your further steps as regards to the progress of this sport to this part of the world. Thanks Mr. Philip I.Nwosu Tel, 234-8055339504 Attached images:

Reodor Felgen, Oct 16, 2006:

Dear Mr Nwosu, Thank you for your mail and for the pictures. It is relieving to see that something is finally happening. I have taken a quick look at the photos together with a few of the other board members, and we all agree that this looks very promising. The cart looks great! We look forward to see the action shots and continue the process. I have one small request for the next photos though; Please do not crop your faces off of the photo canvas. It is my opinion that photos showing contestants who enjoy themselves are the very best. Once again, good work! Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Philip Nwosu, Oct 17, 2006:

ATTENTION Sir This is to acknowledge the receipt of your last letter that was very encouraging for good and development of this sport in Nigeria. It is also my pleasure to inform you that I have commenced procedure for police permit which will allow us to per-take the test-run on one of our high ways with enough hill as directed by your good office. Sir, I therefore wish to request for the full address and telephone number of your association or your telephone number as the case maybe. If there is any further procedures needed in other for your association to legalize this proceedings for your coming to Nigeria regarding to the development of this sport ,we will welcome it as the first step in the right direction. I am very sure that you will receive the test run photos next week as soon as we are granted permission by the police. Thanks Philip I.Nwosu God Bless Tel. 234-8055339504

Reodor Felgen, Oct 19, 2006:

Dear Mr Nwosu, I don’t understand why you would need permission from the police to perform a test run with only one single cart. You can run it in streets with no traffic, or outside of the cities if you wish. You certainly do not need to race down a highway on your very first run. The purpose of the test run is simply to make sure the cart does in deed move, and the photos of it are to verify for us that we have picked a candidate who really takes an interest and has the capability to devote themselves in our project. As I have explained to Mr Tobi, only when the initial 3 steps of the approval process are passed will we start making arrangements and provide assistance. In case you have not been forwarded the description, these 3 steps are as follows: 1: Build a billy cart 2: Test run the billy cart 3: Fill out a form The form will be sent to you after we have received the photos. We are looking very much forward to complete the approval process, because that is when all the real fun will start. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Philip Nwosu, Oct 24, 2006:

Dear Sir This is to bring to your knowledge that I have concluded the test run ,and wish to present to you the sample pictures of the test run. I look forward hearing from you soonest. Regards Philip I.Nwosu Attached images:

Reodor Felgen, Oct 26, 2006:

Dear Mr Nwosu, Thank you very much for the photos. I will review them with the board, and we will get back to you next week. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Flotte bilder. Ned bakken i hundre-og-helvete, på en sofa på hjul. Hva kan gå galt?

Nå som jeg hadde fått bildene tenkte jeg det var på tide å la dem vente i spenning, så jeg lot være å sende mail for en stund. Philip Nwosu blir utålmodig.

Philip Nwosu, Oct 26, 2006:

Dear Sir I wish to acknowledge the receipt of your mail which was well received and noted. I look forward for your considerable response so that we can be able to commence action on this project. I promise you that a lot of people are very interesting in this sport Therefore,it is left for your association to decide on the next line of action. I wish you and your association the best of luck. Thanks Philip.I.Nwosu Tel. 234-8055339504

Philip Nwosu, Nov 6, 2006:

ATTENTION SIR This is to inform you that I am still expecting your reply so as to enable me plan ahead . People has been asking me when the next action will commence so that they may register for the sport . Therefore, I wish to know what is your next line of action regarding this sport. I look forward hearing from you as soon as possible, because I may be out of town for three days. Thanks Mr. Philip I.Nwosu

Philip Nwosu, Nov 9, 2006:

ATTENTION Sir This is to inform you that I am still expecting your form to be filled as stated earlier by you that as soon as I finish the process laid by your good office ,you will provide me with a form to be filled for further actions. I hope that everything is okay as I have not heard from you or your association. Have they not meet for deliberation as you said or have your association decided not to honor my efforts ,please ,let me know which of the corn your association has taken so that I will let people who are interested in this sport to know. I look forward for your immediate respond so as to hook me off from suspense. Thanks Mr.Philip.INwosu

Reodor Felgen, Nov 9, 2006:

Dear Mr Nwosu, I am sorry for the delay. We have briefly had a look at the photos, but we have not yet made a decision because we are having a lot of other meetings these days. We are currently about to arrange a large race, the last one of the season. I will get back to you as soon as I can. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Philip Nwosu, Nov 10, 2006:

Dear Sir This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail which was well received .I also wish to inform you that everything is okay here ,as such ,I hope to wait until I hear from your good office as regards to your next line of action. Thanks God Bless Philip I.Nwosu

Whatever. Jeg har god tid.

Philip Nwosu, Nov 24, 2006:

ATTENTION Sir This is to inform you that I am still expecting your form to be filled as stated earlier by you that as soon as I finish the process laid by your good office ,you will provide me with a form to be filled for further actions. As you can see that the year is about to end as such ,I need to know what next is your actions so as to enable me plan ahead . If I am not approved by your board,there is no need for me to continue keeping your sports equipment with me because ,it will be of no use to me,because we do not have such sport here . I will like to know your decision on this as soon as possible. Thanks Mr.Philip I.Nwosu

På dette tidspunktet har jeg begynt å bli litt lei av opplegget, så jeg orker ikke å lage noen skjemaer. Men det er ikke min skyld, det er interwebsen sin skyld:

Reodor Felgen, Dec 1, 2006:

Dear Mr Nwosu, I am very sorry for the delay, I know it has been too long. We have had technical difficulties at our office, and have not been able to read or send any mail for the last 3 weeks due to a broken cable that connects our building to the internet. Our ISP were aware of the problem the whole time, but they worked very slow. Now the problem has been solved, and we are ready to get back in business. We are lagging behind on all our work as a result of the internet-problems, but you can expect an answer early next week. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Philip Nwosu, Dec 2, 2006:

ATTENTION Sir This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail which was well received .I wait to hear from you as you said . Thanks Mr.Philip.I.Nwosu

Philip Nwosu, Dec 7, 2006:

ATTENTION Sir This is to inform you that I am still waiting to hear from your good office as the year is about to end. I do not understand why your association has continued to delay so as to enable me know what will be your next line of action. I wait to hear from you soonest.AIso,I would like to have your full detailed information as regards to you office ,telephone and fax numbers as well as other related vital informations so as to enhance our mutual cooperation for better future. Thanks Philip.I.Nwosu

Reodor Felgen, Dec 7, 2006:

Like I said in the last mail, we are lagging behind on our work because of the technical difficulties we experienced. Please understand that we need time to catch up. I can however inform you that your case has been discussed in a board meeting, and we are ready to go further with your process. My secretary is, like the rest of us, catching up on work she was not able to do during the time that our connection was down, but we have instructed her to prepare the necessary forms and send them to you when they are ready. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Denne fikk jeg to ganger, den 8. og 12. desember:

Philip Nwosu, Dec 8/Dec 12, 2006:

ATTENTION Sir I wish to acknowledge the receipt of your mail which was well received and noted. You should know that the year is about to end so we should finalize all arrangement towards next year now. As you said that your secretary will forward your form to me so as to enable me fill it for immediate action, then I wait to receive the form from you. You should try to send this form before I travel on Christmas because I will be out of town very soon so we need to finalize this project as soon as possible. I look forward for your immediate response . Thanks Mr.Philip.I.Nwosu NOTE, IT IS HIGH TIME YOU DISCLOSE YOUR IDENTITY TO ME ,SUCH AS YOUR COUNTRY,YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS .

Reodor Felgen, Dec 12, 2006:

Dear Mr Nwosu, I do not enjoy repeating myself. I have already told you that we are lagging behind on our work because of technical difficulties. My secretary will send you the forms when she have prepared them – not one second earlier. I am in no position to apply unnecessary pressure to her, because her work was affected very hard by the mentioned difficulties. I urge you to be patient. Also, there is no deadline saying we need to be up and running before christmas. At IBCRA, we prefer to do our work properly and with great care, rather than hurry through any given task only to discover later that important details have been left out. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Philip Nwosu, Dec 13, 2006:

ATTENTION Sir This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail which was well received . I have heard you Sir,I am waiting . Thanks Mr.Philip I.Nwosu

Philip Nwosu, Jan 13, 2007:

ATTENTION Sir Happy New Year I wish to inform your organization that I am still waiting to hear from you . How long will it take your office to send me a form ,while I have completed my own part of the project. Many contestants are waiting for the game commencement. Thanks Philip.I.Nwosu

Reodor Felgen, Jan 14, 2007:

Dear Mr Nwosu, Happy new year to you too! We are still catching up on work, and my secretary is at the moment responsible for the forms. I do not know whether or not she has started preparing them, but I know she has been lagging behind a lot like the rest of us. I will ask her about the status this week and tell her to direct the answer to you. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Philip Nwosu, Jan 15, 2007:

ATTENTION Sir I wait to hear from you and your secretary as soon as possible,so that I should know what to do. Thanks Mr.Philip.Nwosu

Endelig mister Philip Nwosu tålmodigheten:

Philip Nwosu, Jan 20, 2007:

ATTENTION Sir This is to inform you that I will commence the destruction of the so called test run which I have build for your sport if by wednesday next week you and your organization fail to live up-to the expectations. Every time you tell me about preparation of a form,which sound unrealistic and funny,because every organization need to have every form and other related documents ready for immediate correspondence,and why is your organization different? I remember when you asked me to send you a test-run and I told you that we need a police permision before we can do that but you asked me that do I need a police permision before I can be able to do that?,and you saw in the picture that I sent to you that some policemen are there before we can be able to make the test-run a reality,then why is your own a diferent one ,just a form that you are telling me that it need to be prepared. Don’t your organization has a secretariat? I do not have time to waste now,because it seems that you and your organization are not willing for the project,and I may wish to quit after wednesday next week. I wait to receive your final word on this matter before wednesday or you consider me to be non-of your candidate. Thanks Mr.Philip I.Nwosu

Men hva er dette? Tror Philip Nwosu at han lager reglene?

Reodor Felgen, Jan 20, 2007:

Dear Mr Nwosu, We have grown impatient with your constant nagging, despite our informing you that we are behind schedule on our work and that there is no particular end-date for this project. We will find another candidate who understands that considerations sometimes must be taken not only for oneself. Thank you for your efforts. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Philip Nwosu, Jan 25, 2007:

ATTENTION Sir This is to inform you that I am no more interested in your endless project which has no website,no telephone number as well as country of origin. I f a form can take you so long ,then I think of what you can be able to do.You are free to look for another person who can do the rest for you ,but I am sure that you will never find such a person in Nigeria. Thanks Philip Nwosu

Reodor Felgen, Jan 25, 2007:

Dear Mr Nwosu, Don’t you worry about us finding another candidate, we have a long list of people who are interested. If you cannot understand that quite a lot of time is needed for large projects such as the startup of a local office, then perhaps you are not in possession of the required intelligence to work with us anyway, you ignorant fool. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Neiånei – CAPS LOCK!:

Philip Nwosu, Jan 25, 2007:

ATTENTION WITH DUE RESPECT TO YOU ,NOW I HAVE COME TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE FAKE BY USING A FOUL LANGUAGE TO SOMEONE WHO WISH TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR GHOST PROJECT. YOU CAN GO TO HELL WITH YOUR GHOST SPORTS WHICH DO NOT HAVE ANY ADDRESS,TELEPHONE,WEBSITE,NOR EVEN OTHER RELATED INFORMATIONS WHICH WILL MAKE YOU LOOK AUTHENTIC. BY THE END OF THE MONTH,I WILL DESTROY YOUR SO CALLED TEST-RUN SAMPLE WHICH NEVER EXIST. I AM A MAN OF HOUNOR WHO DO NOT PLAY WITH GAMBLERS LIKE YOU. YOU ARE A FRAUDSTER,YOU CANNOT GET ME. ORDINARY FORM IS WHAT YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOU ARE TAKING YOUR TIME,DID IASK YOU MONEY? JUST A FORM. DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU THAT I NEED A POLCIE PERMISSION TO HAVE THE TEST-RUN DONE? DID YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU TOLD ME,TALKLESS OF AN ORDINARY FORM TO BE FILLED. YOU ARE FAKE. I CANNOT CONTINUE TO WASTE MY TIME AND ENERGY WITH YOU . THANKS AND GOD BLESS. MR.PHILIP NWOSU

Herr Nwosu forholder seg fortsatt høflig. Kudos for det.

Reodor Felgen, Jan 25, 2007:

Noone needs a police clearance to ride a billy cart. I pointed it out at the time. My use of foul language does not mean I am not serious with the work of the IBCRA, it simply implies that I have come to the conclusion that you are an idiot, which I have suspected for some time allready. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Philip Nwosu, Jan 26, 2007:

IF I AM ASK YOU ,WHAT IS YOUR EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION. YOU DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING IN YOUR EMPTY HEAD. YOU HAVE MISSED YOUR TARGET HERE BECAUSE NO ONE WILL EVER ENTER INTO YOUR STUPID TRAP. PROVE YOURSELF ,YOU DO NOT EXIST .I HAVE DIRECTED ALL SECURITY AGENCIES HERE TO BE WATCHFUL OF YOUR EVIL AND NON-EXISTING SPORTS OUTFIT. WHAT THIS MEANS ,IS THAT AS SOON AS YOUR FAKE ASSOCIATION IS BEEN MENTIONED HERE,YOU WILL NEVER GO FREE,AND WHOEVER THAT COLLABORATES WITH YOU WILL ALSO BE PROSECUTED. YOUR FAKE ASSOCIATION HAS BEEN BRAND NAMED EVIL SPORT ,SO YOU SHOULD NOT THINK OF NOR DREAM OF IT HERE. MAYBE YOU DO NOT KNOW WHOM YOU ARE DEALING WITH.TELL ME YOUR ADDRESS ,YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER AND YOUR REAL IDENTITY ,THEN I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHOM I AM. I REGRET KNOWING FOOLS LIKE YOU. PHILIP NWOSU DIRECTOR OF INTELLIGENCE

Reodor Felgen, Jan 26, 2007:

Dear Mr director of intelligence, I see you have a proper work title now, congratulations. It must have been a real intense hiring process to become director of intelligence in a day. Now that you have shown your true self, I must say I am quite glad our work with you did not go further than it did. It would have been disastrous for the IBCRA to work with a braindead moron like you. I can’t recall having heard of someone going mental while waiting for paperwork from a potential employer before. But it’s your loss. What outfit are you talking about? I can’t remember having shown you one. We will be prosecuted for what exactly? It is not our policy to commit crimes while working, nor will anyone within our organization be allowed to or have any reason to. We have no interest in your personal details any longer, save it for somebody who cares. Sincerely,

Reodor Felgen

President

International Billy Cart Racing Association

Dette ble oppfulgt av et antall trusler og fornærmelser. Enden er god, allting er godt.