Seattle, WA – The University of Washington has just published a ground-breaking study on employee motivation in the workplace, and their shocking results have found that employees will pass up almost any other perk for a 20% raise to their salary. The study conclusively determined that other perks that commonly advertised on job postings, such as flexible vacation days, catered lunches, office scooters, and access to bathrooms, were all significantly less valued than getting a pay increase, specifically 20% more.

“This is a ground-breaking study, one that actually correlates employee happiness with their salary,” stated former U.S. Secretary of Labor Tom Perez. “We had previously thought that happiness was tied to concepts like employee development, snacks in the kitchen, not working in a sweatshop, or letting millenials watch Youtube and not making a big deal about it. We also believed that investing in office culture for company-wide events like company sporting events or Cinco de Mayo parties were key to creating an environment that our employees want to stay at, but it turns out that they just want money. Specifically, 20% more.

“Hopefully this means never going on another team-building trip and doing some worthless trust falls for the rest of our lives.”

The full results of the University of Washington study can be found below, with the most desirable employee perks listed in rank order:

20% raise 19% raise 18% raise 17% raise 16% raise 15% raise 14% raise 13% raise 12% raise 11% raise 10% raise Getting paid but not actually having to come into work, respond to emails, or answer any phone calls.

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