Relatable characters and storylines are a big part of the appeal of TV soaps. However, there are a few crucial real-life elements they always forget…

It wasn’t that long ago that Coronation Street producer Stuart Blackburn admitted that the cobbles were missing something - hot young men!

Fast forward a couple of months and the soap is already showing off a quartet of sexy new blokes in a slick Rat Pack-style trailer.

But what else is missing from the world of soap?

Weekly shops

Supermarkets dominate the high street these days - but not in the world of soaps. Apart from the occasional plot-building trip to Corrie’s Freshco, weekly shops don’t seem to exist in soapland.

You never see characters heading to the supermarket or ordering a big shop online. Instead they all pay sky high prices to get all they need at the local corner shop. And they’re not even given a carrier bag for their money.

The Hipsters

If EastEnders is really set in London’s trendy East End, then where are all the hipsters? Uber-cool types, with their uniform of skinny jeans, flat caps and retro fashion dominate this part of the capital, but there’s never a carefully coiffed beard to be seen in Albert Square.



Mature people

Admittedly the demographics of Hollyoaks have evened out over the years (largely thanks to the high mortality rate among the under-21s in the Chester suburb), but try as they might, the people behind the soap can’t quite bring themselves to populate the village with too many people over the age of 35.

And those that do make the cut are all suitably ‘well-maintained’.



Blazing sunshine

While we sit in rain-soaked Britain, we are supposed to wistfully daydream about life Down Under. But it doesn’t matter what time of year it is, the cast of Home & Away are always battling gale force winds and pretending they don’t have goosebumps as they wander the beach in swimwear.



Golden sands

Over in Neighbours, where the sun does actually shine, the poor Ramsay Street residents are missing out on any sea and sand action. They might live in Oz but that doesn’t mean they can hotfoot it to the beach whenever they fancy, as they’re stuck in a cul-de-sac.

Not exactly living the dream.



A decent nightlife

It doesn’t matter whether you live in the Yorkshire Dales, cobbled streets of Manchester or the East End of London, it seems you’re not going to find much action once last orders have been called.

There are no clubs, late night bars or dodgy takeaways. Perhaps that’s a good thing, considering how much mischief the characters get up to during daylight hours.



Counselling services

Abuse, addiction and killings are all rife in soapland, which means there are going to be a lot of traumatised people walking around - but there isn’t one single haven they can call into to talk through their issues. It would make sense for therapists to crop up all over soapland - they’d be sure to be kept busy.



A thinking spot

Unlike the bench outside Audrey’s hair salon in Corrie, or EastEnders’ swing, where the likes of Pat and Kat have perched themselves to have a ‘big think’, Emmerdale appears to be lacking a little spot for people to take themselves off to, ponder about life and wonder where it all went wrong.



Health time bombs

Unless they’re treating themselves to a slap-up meal at the Bistro, Corrie residents are either chowing down Betty’s hotpot at the Rovers, bacon sarnies at Roy’s Rolls or enjoying a chippy tea at home.

It’s high time the residents of the cobbles remembered their five-a-day or they’re going to find themselves in trouble.