I never met you, Mr. Demos, but I'm already tired of you.

I never met you, Mr. Demos, but I'm already tired of you.

The Republican challenger to Rep. Tim Bishop (D-NY) is airing a new attack ad linking the Democratic congressman to Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. Early on in the ad, by Republican congressional candidate George Demos, there's a frame with Bishop, President Barack Obama, and Ford with text reading "TIRED OF POLITICIANS?"

George Demos, you bore. While I do recognize that getting caught smoking crack and getting caught giving a damn about whether Americans have decent health care are pretty much equivalent things, in the Republican mind, the more glaring problem here is that you didn't need to outsource the smear of "politician busted for drug use" to a Canadian mayor. That's just unpatriotic, that one. There's a House Republican who's been in the news for that one, a certain Florida Republican by the name of Trey Radel was just busted for cocaine use, a fellow from the very political establishment that you are trying so very hard to join, and the Republican reaction has been that cocaine use is just fine, so long as he doesn't do it again. (That one really, truly surprises me. I would not have guessed that busted for cocaine use was now in the list of forgivable political sins. No word yet on whether attempting to give Americans slightly more affordable healthcare options is similarly forgivable, though the nomination of Mitt Romney suggests that it, too, is something that can be tenuously forgiven so long as you say you have learned the error of your past ways. Perhaps.)

Pointless, moronic mudslinging is a staple of politics—fine, but the insult here is to the voters, not to Bishop. Must we treat them as if they are all as dumb as rocks? I know nothing about Mr. Demos, but if "my opponent is like Barack Obama and this crack-smoking foreign mayor you may have heard of" is the best your team can come up with on your behalf it seems good indication that we should probably not be electing you to anything that requires deeper thought or requires more responsibility. It's a bit more timely than comparing your opponent to Hitler, I suppose, but it still smacks of that special kind of political phoning-it-in that says my constituents are all absolute idiots; so long as I loudly jingle some keys in their dull little faces, I should be able to get through this with no actual thoughts of my own.

So it is the quality of mudslinging I take issue with here. Mr. Demos, who is not actually a man but instead a large collection of bees in a man-shaped suit, must still make it past the Republican primary before taking on Bishop. He faces multiple problems, including that he once worked for the government to set up FEMA camps for conservative truth-tellers, and even his own advertisements show Mr. Demos only in the black-and-white tones usually reserved for demonstrating that a candidate is quite probably evil. I may or may not have attempted to contact Mr. Demos in preparation for this story, and he may or may not have dodged my call because Sen. David Vitter and Rep. Trey Radel had given him a full-service tour of the various perks of Washington and he had not yet come out of the resulting drunken stupor. I leave it to the voters to decide.

Honestly, Mr. Demos, we do not need any more cheap and lazy and boringly tawdry politicians like yourself. We are full up, honest. We have Kings, and Gohmerts, and Stockmans, and we have any number of Republican candidates running against the obvious evil of attempting to give people slightly more affordable healthcare, and hundreds upon hundreds who think that being busted for doing drugs or visiting prostitutes or lying your crooked ass off is terrible unless one of your own party members is doing it, in which case it becomes fine again. We do not need you. We need a few decent politicians, and a decent politician would not have his staff come up with an idea for a commercial comparing their opponent to a crackhead and say fine, run with that.

Try again when you are a grown-up.