Just when I thought it wasn’t physically possible for me to love Jeff Goldblum any more than I already do, he goes and does an AMA on Reddit. It’s everything you’d want a Goldblum AMA to be: weird; funny; a little awkward; full of “uhs,” “ums,” and “you knows”; and completely awesome. Let’s all get Goldbluming and check out the highlights.

But first, just know it’s mandatory that you you must read the rest of this post to this soundtrack:

After informing all of us lesser humans that his films out in theatres right now (Grand Budapest Hotel and Le Weekend, if you were wondering) rate “ten Goldblums out of a possible ten Goldblums,” Goldblum told Reddit to go ahead and “[a]sk me anything, I’m an open-faced sandwich.” Let’s get to the good stuff, wherein Goldblum types exactly as he speaks.

Here’s what we learned!

He is a delicious flower:

He loves the triceratops:

He watches your YouTube videos of him:

He would like to be known as Surf Goldblum:

He says “oh my golly”:

He is constantly Goldbluming:

He’s watching you:

He’s been covered in KY Jelly:

He seriously watches all of your YouTube videos about him:

He’s a sandwich man:

He, uh, really talks like that:

He isn’t picky:

He knows the way to your heart:

He believes in Ian Malcolm:

He knows you love him:

(via Reddit, image via cooljt56)

Meanwhile in related links

Have a tip we should know? tips@themarysue.com