I Bought Assassin’s Creed Ultimate Edition but It’s Just a Handgun and Some Coordinates

Fans of the Assassin’s Creed series will be pleased to learn that the latest iteration of the time-traveling action adventure game introduces a new level of immersion.

Ubisoft has clearly addressed fans’ criticisms of previous installments by making the ultimate edition of the newest title the most intense gaming experience yet, even going so far as shipping the game with nothing but a handgun and handwritten coordinates!

The game is immersive from the moment you buy online. Within minutes of placing my pre-order, I got a call from a robotic voice that said I could pick up my package right away behind the local shopping mall, where my GameStop is. From that moment, I knew that the game developers were really listening to the fans and trying to deliver a whole new adventure in gaming.

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Once I’d picked up the package from a cloaked GameStop employee—who put on a great Russian accent and insisted on meeting in the parking lot—I quickly raced home to unbox the latest Assassin’s Creed adventure. To my surprise, Ubisoft has done away with all of the traditional branding. The only packaging was a nondescript cardboard box with some Cyrillic lettering. Incredible!

What makes this game truly incredible is that it’s cross-platform; there isn’t even a disc to go in an Xbox or a Playstation. You don’t need a system to play it on. It’s just an incredibly realistic looking prop gun, a train ticket, and a small scrap of paper with the coordinates 38°53’23.9″N 77°00’03.6″W on it – a parking garage near the Capitol Building in Washington DC.

So, I’m off to Washington for my next clue in what is shaping up to be the best gaming experience of my life, maybe apart from that time Infinity Ward sent me to Iraq.