I am a well-travelled man, when it comes to the realm of wallet chains and dyed goatees. However, I am still human and there exist gaps in my knowledge. To that end, I have devised a NEW SECTION for this blog, hilariously titled “Breaking Nu Ground”. In it, I listen to a Nu Metal album I have never heard before, and share my reactions with you.

Today, I decided to go with Coal Chamber’s début album. Why? Because I am actually seeing them, Soil, The Defiled and Dope on the 27th of this very month, and I thought I should actually know some of the headline act’s material other than their enjoyably ropey cover of “Shock The Monkey”.

Before listening to this, I would have divided Nu Metal into two camps, lyrically. Those are “Nobody likes me, and that makes me angry” (Korn) and “Nobody likes me, and that makes me sad” (Linkin Park).

Having listened to Coal Chamber, I can now add a third category, “Nobody likes me, and I don’t really care. In fact, I rather like it. Look at my shaved scalp with about three or four thin braids flapping about on it. Behold my goggly turkey eyes. Isn’t all of that lovely?”

Revelling in their outcast status, Coal Chamber dive right into proceedings with “Loco”. I tried this song a few times when attempting to get into the band, and it never did anything for me. For a start, that main riff is pretty dull. It can be transcribed as dundun dunduh dundun dundun DUHdun. Now, did that sound good to you? Of course it didn’t because it’s just written down, you maniac. But trust me, it wouldn’t if you actually heard it either. Once the song gets going, however, it provides a pretty excellent look at both this album’s strengths and weaknesses.

I’m a relatively Nu convert to this type of Metal. While I was an early teen in its heyday, I hated it. The somewhat embarrassing reason for that is I was a full-blown Metal Nobhead. I only listened to “classic” bands like Iron Maiden and Metallica, and steadfastly refused to enjoy anything that didn’t have solos. Why solos? Why that very strange criterion? I have no idea! I can’t even play the triangle myself, so I’m not sure why that would be, as every politician ever would apparently say, a “red-line issue” for Young Jonny.

Anyway, I never heard this album in my youth, but I can easily imagine entire dancefloors of filthy goths erupting to this between 1997 and 2003. They probably still do to this day in… let’s say more “out of the way” towns where more modern subcultures have yet to gain a footing.

By the time “Loco” had gone through the “motions” (oh yes), I was actually pretty sold on it. I had the impression that this album would be non-stop grumbling from start to finish from frontman Dez, but there were some cool clean vocals which added a touch of gothiness and showed I was not in for a fully one-dimensional listening experience. However, it does display one key weakness which would go on to dog the album as a whole. My notes from listening to it best summarise the issue, “what the heck are the lyrics about?”. I looked them up, and I was still none the wiser.

Writing Nu Metal lyrics is probably like writing children’s literature. Everyone thinks they can do it. It’s easy, you just write a little story about a baby elephant who loses his favourite balloon, paints his little elephant nails black and gets his trunk pierced. But perhaps it’s not that easy. I’m trying to be nice because in a lot of places the lyrics are overly vague and don’t make much sense, where you’d think bellowing “I HATE YOU” or “YOU HATE ME” or any variation on that would be pretty easy. Maybe belonging to this mythical “third camp” of relatively happy Nu Metal knocked them off their lyrical game, I don’t know.

Thankfully, it only impacts on my enjoyment of the album a little. There’s a lot of fun to be had with an album seemingly made with both mosh pits and dancefloors in mind. “Bradley” again launches into a grimy groove with excellent drumming and a fraught, “possibly the rantings of a serial killer” vocal performance from Dez. “Oddity” perhaps sums up the whole Coal Chamber ethos the best, sounding perfectly OK with being the weirdo. Prominent bass (even for Nu metal) makes “Oddity” a winner, and Dez sounds like an utter maniac in this one (that is, of course, a compliment). Even “Unspoiled”, which sounded uninspired at first, quickly caught my interest with a restrained, gothy verse and claustrophobic, hazy guitar lines which gave way to big riffs and a world-class roar. “First” really slows things down, with mostly clean vocals which finally give way to filthy guitars and Dez’s signature mad chanting. The weak lyrics really become a problem here, as they let down what could have been a classic song of the era. Still, it’s pretty awesome. “Dreamtime” rounds out the highlights of the album for me. Interesting use of guitar feedback, and an unusually restrained vocal performance in this more upbeat song make it one of the most interesting tracks on the album. It finally breaks loose into the usual dirty guitars and howling towards the end, but when it does it’s very effective.

It’s not all excellent, gothic slow-burners and dancefloor destroyers, sadly. There’s a few mediocre tracks towards the middle that come and go without doing much, and a few really silly moments that provoke more giggles than grooves. Thanks to their appearance, Coal Chamber were always one of the easiest bands to use when poking fun at Nu Metal. This daftness doesn’t actually carry over into their music that much, thankfully. But when it does, you get “Big Truck”. Dear me, it’s silly. It doesn’t hit a good pace like the others before it, and all my notes say about the lyrics are “angriest road safety song ever?”. I’ll leave that one at the side of the road.

Then we have “Sway”. Again consulting my notes, we have “oh, Jesus, this roof is on fire chant?” I remember terrible DJs doing that chant way back in the days when how much I hate clubs was merely trapped in my subconscious mind. Why is it here, in a metal song? I find it difficult to be serious when it is being growled at me. Can we do “Engine, engine, number nine” next? Once that bit is out the way, “Sway” is actually pretty good, however. It has all the classic elements that make up the best songs on this album, it just has a spectacularly silly intro tacked on.

Finally, we have “Pig”. Not only does it take its title straight from the “Big book of clichéd metal/industrial song names” (coming after “infected” but before “suffocate”, of course), but the intro features Dez… squealing like the world’s most disaffected, emotionally maladjusted pig. I imagined this pig. It ironically wears an Elmo bag and paints the inside of its sty black. Its parents are very upset, and cry when they remember the polite little piglet who used to curl up and watch Charlotte’s Web with them. I imagined all of this in the opening seconds of this monumentally ridiculous song, and if I had ever been capable of taking a song featuring a grown man making pig noises (doubtful), I no longer could after that. Like “Sway” before it, once the intro is out of the way, it’s a decent song. But those pig noises leave a bad, slightly “Morrisons 8 for £1 sausages” taste in my mouth.

So, in summary. When this album is good, it’s pretty great. There’s a few real stompers here, and not too many utter clangers. However, the lyrics do let it down, and the odd silly moment here and there don’t do them many favours either. All in all, I’d say American Head Charge did the same sort of thing much, much better with both of their studio albums, with far more layers and dimensions to their sound. “Coal Chamber” is still well worth a listen though, and I’m suddenly really looking forward to seeing them live!