Walk a mile in my shoes

Some introverts and/or HSPs are also empaths which goes a step further yet. Empaths feel things on such a deep level that it can even be difficult to discern exactly who is feeling what.

Empaths truly walk in your shoes. They literally share your experiences. They feel them as if they were their own.

Personal negatives

The worst part, for me, is the amount of outright pain and suffering that I sense on a regular basis. Nowadays I realize that it’s most often not my suffering, but it can be extremely challenging to pinpoint where it originates, as well as to avoid feeling it, to begin with.

I’ve learned that I don’t actually have to see the sufferer whose pain I’m sensing. My mood will switch in an instant and I have no idea why. I seem to feel it from both people and animals, but honestly the animals bother me more, and this is probably what caused me to go vegetarian a very long time ago.

With people, it can be overpowering as well, but in a different way, because the suffering somehow feels a little less profound, i.e. more psychological and less physical. It doesn’t feel as “urgent”, but if I’m bombarded with it from many different sources at the same time (which is often the case) it’s still exhausting and puzzling.

How do you differentiate between your own stuff and that of others when it feels the same?

Pick your battles

These days I’m very selective about who I surround myself with. I value substance and depth over chitchat. “Fluff” quite literally exhausts me. So I allow myself to avoid situations that I know will run me down.

If people choose to perceive me as rude for either leaving early or not attending at all, that’s something that has to be their business, not mine. I have finally made my peace with this.

I used to think I was quite literally losing my mind while living in an especially dreary area with houses close together and as a result no proper “barrier” around me. Sounds really hokey, I know… (That’s why I thought I was going nuts.)

In the depths of desperation and depression, I finally confided in an empath acquaintance of mine and learned that she too had an issue with proximity to people.

What a relief! At least there was one other person like me.

She told me that her choice to relocate to an extremely rural area was simply to allow herself more space. A buffer zone. The closest neighbor was miles away and concentrated pockets of people were farther away still.

This strategy has proven immensely helpful for me as well. I now live in a sparsely populated area where I don’t have to feel the constant stress that close proximity to others causes me.