Popular music lyrics are dumb. No really, I’m not just saying that. As easy as it is to mock the quality of lyrics today, there’s some real science behind looking at how dumb they truly are.

That’s why I set out to answer the big questions. Which genre is the most sophisticated? (Prepare to be disappointed.) Which artists are the dumbest? (Prepare to be surprised.) And, can any hit songs be comfortably read by a 1st grader? (Yes, they can.)

How exactly did I go about this?

I turned to the Readability Score. It uses writing analysis tools like the Flesch-Kincaid grade index and many others to create an average of the US reading level of a piece of text. I plugged in song lyrics (punctuation added by me, since most songs lack it altogether) and out of the machine popped out average grade level, word count, and other very interesting metrics.

All told, I analyzed 225 songs in 4 different datasets, resulting in 2,000+ individual data points. How’d I choose them? If they spent at least a few weeks (3+) at #1 on the Billboard charts for Pop, Country, Rock, and R&B/Hip-Hop for any given year, they made the list.

While the results are certainly enlightening, it’s important to note that this data doesn’t touch on the meaning of a song, the metaphors, how the words connect with the artist’s personal story, etc. to create deeper meaning. These numbers are fun and interesting, so just enjoy them.

What did the data tell us?

Is We Really Getting Dumber?



Well, this research is, if nothing else, great news for third graders. They may have a long way to go in terms of unlocking the deeper meanings of great literature, but hit music lyrics are right in their zone.

Did you miss that? Yes, I said third graders. Because only 2005 and 2006 would have given a reasonably competent third grader a tough time. Sure, we know hit music lyrics aren’t the peak of sophistication, but who knew the bar was this low?

Well, the bar is actually getting lower. These averages have really been on the decline over the last 10 years. And keep in mind that we’re looking at all the data from Pop, Rock, R&B/Hip Hop, and Country combined to show the overall trend.

So it’s clear we’re on the way down, but if you’re wondering “Was it men or women dragging the music down?” you’re not the only one. I was just as curious to find out.

Who Wins the Battle of the Sexes?

The short answer is that everybody is getting dumber, it’s not really a gender thing. Overall, my data showed that men talk more (higher word count), but women have slightly more intelligent things to say (higher average grade level).

Let’s take a look the average grade level over time to see how men and women fare.

It looks like hit music in general has settled on some formulas: Men should stick to roughly a 3rd grade reading level and women shouldn’t sing rock songs at all (more about that later).

What does it all mean exactly? Well, women seem to be a bit smarter than men, except for when they’re not (i.e., 2008-2009). Ultimately, the genre and the artist matter much more than the gender.

Granted, it’s not exactly a team effort. Certain artists do more than their fair share to bring their gender and genre group down or up through the years. So now it’s time to break down this data a bit more by genre and see who really sets the standard for dumb.

A Deeper Look into Genres

Does Country really have the “smartest” Lyrics?

Yes, yes, it does. In fact, if you average out all the hit songs in each category for the last 10 years, you get:

Average US Reading Level by Grade:

Country: 3.3

Pop: 2.9 (tie)

Rock: 2.9 (tie)

R&B/Hip Hop: 2.6

There are a lot of reasons for this. Remember that I mentioned that word length plays a role? Well, Country is the only genre generally devoid of words like “oh” or “yeah” repeated 20 times in a row. Sorry everyone else, but if you say it in the song, it’s counted as a “lyric.”

But it’s also about the syllables. Country music is full of words like Hallelujah, cigarettes, hillbilly, and tacklebox. Add to that long place names like Cincinnati, Louisville, Mississippi, and Louisiana, and Country has a serious advantage over the competition.

Unfortunately for Pop and R&B/Hip-Hop, places like L.A. and New York just don’t score that many points. But take a song like Dani California, and you’ll see that throwing in the word “California” more than a dozen times can make a real difference.

In 2007, Rock and R&B/Hip-Hop both plunged with the help of songs like “Buy U a Drank” by T-Pain (which just made it above a 1st grade reading level) and “I Don’t Wanna Stop” by Ozzy Osbourne (a more respectable 1.6 average grade level).

Then, in 2009, it was Country and Pop’s turn, when they each hit their own record lows with the help of songs like “Boom Boom Pow” by the Black Eyed Peas (2.0 grade level) and “Then” by Brad Paisley (which wasn’t much higher at a 2.2 grade level).

Was it the housing boom and bust that got people in the mood for listening to the simpler songs in life? Hard to say, but what’s for sure is that the people have spoken. No matter what the year and the economic situation, they do not want to listen to anything a third grader would find challenging.

Looking at the overall trend, it seems things have leveled off since 2010, with all four major genres resting comfortably into the 2nd-3rd grade range and R&B/Hip Hop ranking last in 5 of the past 10 years. Sorry 1st graders, but you’ll have to settle for R&B and Hip Hop from 2007.

Still, besides those grade level averages, how do elements like word count play into the picture?

Interestingly enough, there’s a definite correlation here between the average length of song and the average grade level. Problem is, it’s an inverse relationship — shorter songs actually have a higher grade level.

Shockingly, R&B/Hip Hop and Pop seem to be talking a lot and not saying much.

Country and Rock, on the other hand, certainly seem to have a winning formula: keep it short, while not skimping on word or grammar complexity, and you have nicely aged song. It’s surprising what you can fit into less than 300 words.

What’s clear is that over time, not a lot has changed. Aside from normal fluctuations, all the genres seem to have a standard level they stick to. Frankly, having listened to my fair share of radio for the past 10 years, that’s not exactly surprising.

Artist VS. Artist: How Low Can They Go?

Hint: Very Low.

I went through each category and picked 7 of the top artists based on their number of hit songs and how long those songs stayed at #1. So without further ado, here are the facts about the artists whose voices we hear most often in each genre:

This is probably a good time to reiterate that these are the numbers, plain and simple, and that all Beyoncé partisans should address their complaints to the people at the Readability Score. We can’t hide the facts: of these 7 top R&B and Hip Hop artists, she has the second smallest average word count and the least sophisticated lyrics.

Who’s the standout? None other than Slim Shady himself, with Nicki Minaj and Macklemore following up in the number 2 and 3 spots. Is Kanye West talking a lot and not saying anything? Yes. Should you be surprised?

Wait, I’mma Let You Finish. No.

The Country data here seems to be telling us something. The more devoted teenage girls are to an artist, the more poorly these artists score. Okay, that wasn’t exactly fair, but Taylor Swift, Rascal Flatts, and Florida Georgia Line are bottom of the pack here in terms of average grade level at 3.4, 3.2 and 2.93.

The queen of Country, however, is definitely Carrie Underwood with a grade level of 3.72. Blake Shelton (3.63) and Brad Paisley (3.54) are close behind. If there’s one trend clearly at play here, it’s that (again) longer lyrics don’t exactly translate into more sophisticated lyrics. But, perhaps Rock has something to say about that.

Yes, Rock has plenty to say about the “longer lyrics = less sophisticated lyrics” trend. Not just any Rock either, we’re talking about Nickelback. Yes, the Canadian rock band so many love to hate manages to get the longest AND most sophisticated lyrics in the Rock category.

Just as surprising, Linkin Park came in with the shortest lyrics and the second most sophisticated. Who knew? Still, on the whole, major Rock artists and groups stay pretty firmly in the 2nd and occasionally 3rd grade. I guess guitars can compensate for just about anything.

If there’s a single stunning fact about this genre, it still has to be that not a single female singer made it onto the Rock list. That means not a single lady stayed at the top of the charts for four or more weeks during the entire last 10 years. Why that might be frankly deserves its own post.

But how does this all compare to what’s maybe the most generic, the most ubiquitous, and the most popular category of all? Ke$ha fans, prepare yourselves…

As promised, Ke$ha does manage to score the worst of any major artist I looked more closely at. Not just a little worse either, although Lady Gaga makes a valiant effort to keep up (keep down?).

Unlike the other genres, the Pop stars who stand out are a bit less surprising with the gold, silver, and bronze going to Mariah Carey, Adele, and Justin Timberlake, respectively.

Pop actually holds its own pretty well with Mariah Carey scoring higher than anyone in the other three categories. Bravo Mariah, bravo!

But how do artists and their songs compare across genres?

Top Songs: The Good, The Bad, and The Very Ugly

Remember how I mentioned that Country has done very well? Well, here’s a bit of insight into why. Fully 5 of the top 10 smartest songs in this study are country songs. Only a single song (thanks Rihanna) made it from R&B/Hip Hop.

This of course brings us to the shame list, the dumbest 10 songs of the last 10 years. Here, Country has completely vanished, replaced by a fairly even representation of Pop, Rock, and R&B/Hip Hop.

Somehow, Three Days Grace and Maroon 5 managed to score on both charts. The former scoring the dumbest song in the entire study alongside the 3rd smartest.



Showing My Homework

For anyone who’s a bit more curious, here’s the full list of the four categories ranked by average grade level.

Top R&B/Hip-Hop Songs Ranked by Grade Level

Average Grade Level Title Artist Year Weeks at #1 Word Count Characters per Word Syllables per Word 4.8 Diamonds Rihanna 2012 11 382 4 1.4 4.1 Thrift Shop Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Featuring Wanz 2013 14 725 3.9 1.3 3.9 Irreplaceable Beyoncé 2006 9 549 3.5 1.2 3.9 Slow Down Bobby Valentino 2005 4 452 3.8 1.2 3.8 Moment 4 Life Nicki Minaj Featuring Drake 2011 5 648 3.7 1.2 3.7 The Monster Eminem Featuring Rihanna 2013 13 710 3.7 1.2 3.7 We Belong Together Mariah Carey 2005 14 418 3.5 1.2 3.4 Mercy Kanye West, Big Sean, Pusha T, 2 Chainz 2012 4 968 3.9 1.2 3.4 I Remember Keyshia Cole 2008 7 319 3.7 1.2 3.3 No One Alicia Keys 2007 17 314 3.2 1.2 3.3 Let Me Love You Mario 2005 11 477 3.7 1.2 3.2 Best I Ever Had Drake 2009 7 811 3.5 1.2 3.2 Hold On, We’re Going Home Drake Featuring Majid Jordan 2013 5 343 3.5 1.2 3.2 Pretty Wings Maxwell 2009 14 267 3.9 1.2 3.2 Lotus Flower Bomb Wale Featuring Miguel 2012 5 589 3.6 1.2 3.1 Be Without You Mary J. Blige 2006 15 575 3.4 1.2 3 Anaconda Nicki Minaj 2014 6 641 3.4 1.2 2.9 Deuces Chris Brown Featuring Tyga & Kevin McCall 2010 9 596 3.4 1.2 2.8 I’m On One DJ Khaled Featuring Drake, Rick Ross & Lil Wayne 2011 10 722 3.4 1.2 2.8 Motivation Kelly Rowland Featuring Lil Wayne 2011 6 369 3.5 1.2 2.8 Heaven Sent Keyshia Cole 2008 9 495 3.6 1.2 2.7 Look At Me Now Chris Brown Featuring Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes 2011 8 906 3.4 1.2 2.7 Everything To Me Monica 2010 7 201 3.5 1.2 2.7 Can’t Be Friends Trey Songz 2010 11 358 3.2 1.1 2.7 Soul Survivor Young Jeezy Featuring Akon 2005 4 792 3.4 1.2 2.6 She Will Lil Wayne Featuring Drake 2011 4 794 3.5 1.2 2.6 Blurred Lines Robin Thicke Featuring T.I. + Pharrell 2013 16 674 3.3 1.2 2.5 Candy Shop 50 Cent Featuring Olivia 2005 4 619 3.4 1.2 2.4 Ni**as in Paris Jay Z Kanye West 2011 7 576 3.5 1.2 2.4 Can’t Hold Us Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Featuring Ray Dalton 2013 7 758 3.4 1.2 2.4 Happy Pharrell Williams 2014 12 544 3.5 1.2 2.4 Love In This Club Usher Featuring Young Jeezy 2008 4 613 3.3 1.1 2.4 It’s Goin’ Down Yung Joc 2006 8 589 3.5 1.2 2.2 Gold Digger Kanye West Featuring Jamie Foxx 2005 4 774 3.5 1.1 2.2 Lollipop Lil Wayne Featuring Static Major 2008 6 658 3.4 1.2 2.2 There Goes My Baby Usher 2010 4 456 3.5 1.2 2.1 Un-Thinkable (I’m Ready) Alicia Keys 2010 12 384 3.3 1.2 2.1 Black Widow Iggy Azalea Featuring Rita Ora 2014 5 551 3.4 1.2 2.1 Climax Usher 2012 10 326 3.4 1.2 2 Blame It Jamie Foxx Featuring T-Pain 2009 14 803 3.3 1.2 2 Adorn Miguel 2012 4 265 3.5 1.2 1.9 When I See U Fantasia 2007 8 380 3.3 1.1 1.9 Fancy Iggy Azalea Featuring Charli XCX 2014 13 535 3.4 1.2 1.8 Love On Top Beyonce 2012 7 599 3.3 1.2 1.8 What You Know T.I. 2006 6 870 3.5 1.2 1.7 No Lie 2 Chainz Featuring Drake 2012 5 783 3.3 1.1 1.6 Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) Beyonce 2008 12 687 3 1.1 1.6 Say Goodbye Chris Brown 2006 4 793 3.2 1.2 1.6 Bed J. Holiday 2007 5 597 3.3 1.2 1.6 Need U Bad Jazmine Sullivan 2008 4 479 3 1.1 1.2 Lost Without U Robin Thicke 2007 11 396 3.3 1.2 1.2 Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin’) T-Pain Featuring Yung Joc 2007 8 545 3.4 1.1 1 It Kills Me Melanie Fiona 2010 9 316 3.3 1.1

In the R&B/Hip Hop category, Rihanna’s Diamonds may seem like a surprising choice for sophistication, but throwing those rocks around got her average word length up to a full 4 characters. Macklemore’s high score, on the other hand, seems to speak for itself. Respect the Jammies is all I’m saying.

Then there’s Robin Thicke and Melanie Fiona… What can we say about the subtle metaphors and other intricacies which surely lie behind lines like “Tell me how you love my body?” Not a lot, really. Like Macklemore, they speak fairly well for themselves.

Top Country Songs Ranked by Grade Level

Average Grade Level Song Title Artist Year Weeks at #1 Word Count Syllables per Word Characters per Word 5.8 All About Tonight Blake Shelton 2010 3 311 1.3 3.9 4.9 That’s What I Love About Sunday Craig Morgan 2005 4 254 1.2 3.7 4.9 We Were Us Keith Urban And Miranda Lambert 2013 3 283 1.3 3.9 4.7 Before He Cheats Carrie Underwood 2006 5 304 1.2 3.8 4.6 Good Directions Billy Currington 2007 3 303 1.2 3.8 4.6 The House That Built Me Miranda Lambert 2010 4 310 1.2 3.7 4.5 We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together Taylor Swift 2012 9 376 1.3 3.8 4.4 The World Brad Paisley 2006 3 248 1.3 3.6 4.4 Summertime Kenny Chesney 2006 5 294 1.2 3.6 4.1 Beer In Mexico Kenny Chesney 2007 3 242 1.3 3.7 4 I’m Still A Guy Brad Paisley 2008 3 364 1.1 3.5 4 Making Memories Of Us Kieth Urban 2005 5 247 1.2 3.5 3.9 So Small Carrie Underwood 2007 3 274 1.2 3.9 3.9 Take Me There Rascal Flatts 2007 3 256 1.2 4 3.7 She’s Everything Brad Paisley 2007 3 358 1.3 3.5 3.7 Consider Me Gone Reba 2010 4 303 1.2 3.4 3.7 If You’re Going Through Hell (Before The Devil Even Knows) Rodney Atkins 2006 4 362 1.1 3.6 3.6 Sure Be Cool If You Did Blake Shelton 2013 5 371 1.2 3.6 3.6 Something In The Water Carrie Underwood 2014 3 340 1.2 3.6 3.6 Watching You Rodney Atkins 2007 4 398 1.2 3.5 3.5 Wasted Carrie Underwood 2007 3 343 1.2 3.6 3.5 Better Life Kieth Urban 2005 6 325 1.2 3.4 3.5 Shutgun Rider Tim McGraw 2014 3 277 1.3 3.7 3.4 Letter To Me Brad Paisley 2008 4 450 1.2 3.4 3.3 Don’t Blink Kenny Chesney 2007 4 383 1.1 3.8 3.2 Stay Florida Georgia Line 2013 6 410 1.2 3.4 3.2 Somewhere With You Kenny Chesney 2011 3 374 1.2 3.4 3.2 Drink A Beer Luke Bryan 2014 5 176 1.2 3.6 3 Don’t You Wanna Stay Jason Aldean With Kelly Clarkson 2011 3 222 1.2 3.6 3 Why Don’t We Just Dance Josh Turner 2010 4 230 1.1 3.5 3 Living In Fast Forward Kenny Chesney 2006 3 235 1.2 3.6 3 Play It Again Luke Bryan 2014 9 436 1.2 3.5 2.9 Honey Bee Blake Shelton 2011 4 355 1.2 3.3 2.9 Jesus, Take The Wheel Carrie Underwood 2006 6 307 1.1 3.4 2.9 Cruise Florida Georgia Line 2013 24 421 1.2 3.7 2.9 Bless The Broken Road Rascal Flatts 2005 5 239 1.2 3.7 2.8 What Hurts The Most Rascal Flatts 2006 4 280 1.2 3.6 2.7 This Is How We Roll Florida Georgia Line Featuring Luke Bryan 2014 6 383 1.2 3.6 2.7 Burnin’ It Down Jason Aldean 2014 14 436 1.2 3.7 2.7 That’s My Kind Of Night Luke Bryan 2013 12 390 1.1 3.6 2.6 Never Wanted Nothing More Kenny Chesney 2007 5 352 1.2 3.3 2.6 Felt Good On My Lips Tim McGraw 2011 3 326 1.2 3.4 2.5 Big Green Tractor Jason Aldean 2009 4 368 1.1 3.3 2.5 Need You Now Lady Antebellum 2009 5 237 1.2 3.3 2.5 Our Song Taylor Swift 2008 6 386 1.2 3.6 2.5 You’re Gonna Miss This Trace Adkins 2008 3 317 1.2 3.5 2.5 Keep Me In Mind Zac Brown Band 2012 4 287 1.2 3.4 2.3 It Won’t Be Like This For Long Darius Rucker 2009 3 317 1.1 3.4 2.2 God Gave Me You Blake Shelton 2011 3 274 1.1 3.3 2.2 Then Brad Paisley 2009 3 285 1.1 3.5 2.1 The Man I Want To Be Chris Young 2010 3 266 1.1 3.2 1.5 As Good As I Once Was Toby Keith 2005 6 380 1.1 3.2

Country scored very well overall; what kind of lyrics could have made that happen?

Let’s just say they got some help from feel good pills and red Gatorade. I already mentioned the long words which brought country to the champion’s table (tackleboxes and cigarettes anyone?), but longer sentences also played a part (thanks Keith Urban).

Of course, even for Country, it wasn’t all roses and bourbon.

Toby Keith and Chris Young did the genre no favors with their pleads to God and their baby. These lyrics scored low with a combination of short phrases and clippy writing. If only they could have mentioned Mississippi more…

Top Rock Songs Ranked by Grade Level

Average Grade Level Title Artist Year Weeks at #1 Word Count Characters per Word Syllables per Word 5.5 Dani California Red Hot Chili Peppers 2006 12 296 4.2 1.5 5.2 Animal I Have Become Three Days Grace 2006 7 258 3.9 1.4 4.5 Be Yourself Audioslave 2005 7 194 3.9 1.3 4.5 Inside The Fire Disturbed 2008 14 293 4 1.3 4.3 The Pot Tool 2006 4 320 4.1 1.3 4.2 Check My Brain Alice In Chains 2009 8 148 4 1.4 4.2 Isolation Alter Bridge 2011 7 218 4.1 1.4 4.2 Another Way To Die Disturbed 2010 8 321 3.9 1.3 4.2 Something In Your Mouth Nickelback 2009 4 470 4.1 1.3 4 Say You’ll Haunt Me Stone Sour 2010 8 369 3.8 1.3 3.9 Your Decision Alice In Chains 2010 8 162 3.7 1.2 3.7 Boulevard Of Broken Dreams Green Day 2005 14 289 3.5 1.2 3.5 New Divide Linkin Park 2009 8 250 4 1.2 3.4 Psycho Puddle Of Mudd 2008 9 338 3.6 1.3 3.4 Remedy Seether 2005 5 355 3.5 1.1 3.4 Second Chance Shinedown 2009 10 250 3.8 1.3 3.3 Speak Godsmack 2006 6 181 3.7 1.1 3.2 Lifeline Papa Roach 2009 6 283 3.7 1.3 3.2 Through Glass Stone Sour 2006 7 520 3.8 1.2 3.1 Save Me Shinedown 2005 12 199 3.8 1.3 3 Best Of You Foo Fighters 2005 4 338 3.7 1.2 3 Break Three Days Grace 2010 11 187 3.9 1.3 2.9 What I’ve Done Linkin Park 2007 8 158 3.5 1.2 2.9 Animals Nickelback 2006 6 480 3.6 1.2 2.9 Chalk Outline Three Days Grace 2012 13 244 3.6 1.2 2.8 Walk Foo Fighters 2011 4 305 3.7 1.3 2.8 Photograph Nickelback 2005 7 489 3.5 1.2 2.8 Country Song Seether 2011 10 411 3.5 1.1 2.7 The Pretender Foo Fighters 2007 6 499 3.4 1.2 2.7 Cryin’ Like A Bitch! Godsmack 2010 5 258 3.7 1.2 2.7 Painkiller Three Days Grace 2014 4 249 3.5 1.2 2.6 Face To The Floor Chevelle 2011 12 216 3.7 1.2 2.6 Fake It Seether 2008 7 339 3.6 1.2 2.5 Shepherd Of Fire Avenged Sevenfold 2014 7 273 3.6 1.2 2.4 Rope Foo Fighters 2011 5 264 3.4 1.1 2.3 Trenches Pop Evil 2013 4 287 3.5 1.1 2.3 Words As Weapons Seether 2014 5 239 3.5 1.1 2.3 Been Away Too Long Soundgarden 2013 5 239 3.6 1.2 2.2 Something From Nothing Foo Fighters 2014 13 306 3.5 1.2 2.2 Live To Rise Soundgarden 2012 6 225 3.5 1.1 2.1 Pain Three Days Grace 2007 13 332 3.6 1.2 2 Hail To The King Avenged Sevenfold 2013 10 246 3.8 1.1 1.9 Breath Breaking Benjamin 2007 7 234 3.4 1.1 1.8 Never Too Late Three Days Grace 2007 7 297 3.3 1.2 1.7 The Day That Never Comes Metallica 2008 7 182 3.8 1.1 1.7 Heaven Knows The Pretty Reckless 2014 5 338 3.6 1.2 1.6 I Don’t Wanna Stop Ozzy Osbourne 2007 5 406 3 1.2 1.6 Bully Shinedown 2012 12 369 3.3 1.2 1.6 World So Cold Three Days Grace 2010 5 265 3.4 1.2 1.4 Unity Shinedown 2012 4 372 3.3 1.1 1.2 Let Me Hear You Scream Ozzy Osbourne 2010 4 340 3.3 1 0.8 The Good Life Three Days Grace 2010 5 215 3.1 1.1

If the Red Hot Chili Peppers do have to pay a price for that panorama, it’s not showing up here. “Dani California” performed extremely well with an average grade level of 5.5. Three Days Grace even bucked their overall poor score with “Animal I Have Become.”

None of this, however, can undo what Ozzy hath wrought. “Let Me Hear You Scream” set a pretty low bar (1.2 to be exact). His other song, “I Don’t Wanna Stop,” didn’t do much better, either at 1.6.

Then again, it would be a crime not to mention Three Days Grace’s other record setting song: The Good Life. With an average grade level of 0.8, it was the lowest scoring song of the hundreds analyzed. Who said the good life was complicated?

Top Pop Songs Ranked by Grade Level

Average Grade Level Title Artist Year Weeks at #1 Word Count Syllables per Word Characters per Word 5 She Will Be Loved Maroon5 2004 4 351 1.2 3.7 4.8 E.T. Katy Perry Featuring Kanye West 2011 6 293 1.4 4.1 4.6 Hips Don’t Lie Shakira Featuring Wyclef Jean 2006 7 617 1.3 3.7 4.6 California Gurls Katy Perry Featuring Snoop Dogg 2010 7 411 1.4 4.2 4.5 We Are Young fun. Featuring Janelle Monae 2012 5 352 1.3 3.9 4.2 Shake It Off Mariah Carey 2005 5 352 1.2 3.6 4.2 Forever Chris Brown 2008 5 446 1.3 3.7 4.2 The Reason Hoobastank 2004 8 231 1.2 3.2 3.9 Irreplaceable Beyonce 2007 7 549 1.2 3.5 3.9 Leave (Get Out) JoJo 2004 5 330 1.1 3.4 3.7 We Belong Together Mariah Carey 2005 10 418 1.2 3.5 3.7 Boulevard Of Broken Dreams Green Day 2005 4 289 1.2 3.5 3.7 The Monster Eminem Featuring Rihanna 2014 5 710 1.2 3.7 3.6 Hollaback Girl Gwen Stefani 2005 6 459 1.2 3.4 3.5 Set Fire To The Rain Adele 2012 4 346 1.1 3.6 3.5 My Love Justin Timberlake Featuring T.I. 2006 4 784 1.2 3.4 3.5 Over And Over Nelly Featuring Tim McGraw 2004 8 546 1.2 3.3 3.4 Summer Love Justin Timberlake 2007 4 642 1.1 3.3 3.3 No One Alicia Keys 2008 5 314 1.2 3.2 3.3 Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) Kelly Clarkson 2012 4 429 1.2 3.7 3.3 Animals Maroon 5 2014 4 505 1.2 3.6 3.2 Big Girls Don’t Cry Fergie 2007 8 400 1.2 3.4 3.2 Leavin’ Jesse McCartney 2008 5 403 1.2 3.4 3.2 Bleeding Love Leona Lewis 2008 9 393 1.2 3.8 3.2 I Knew You Were Trouble. Taylor Swift 2013 7 588 1.2 3.5 3.2 One More Night Maroon 5 2012 8 492 1.2 3.4 3.1 Be Without You Mary J. Blige 2006 4 575 1.2 3.4 3.1 Low Flo Rida Featuring T-Pain 2008 6 731 1.1 3.7 3.1 All Of Me John Legend 2014 5 374 1.2 3.4 3 Roar Katy Perry 2013 5 445 1.1 3.2 3 Locked Out Of Heaven Bruno Mars 2013 4 323 1.1 3.5 2.9 Rolling In The Deep Adele 2011 5 574 1.2 3.6 2.9 Pieces Of Me Ashlee Simpson 2004 5 326 1.2 3.5 2.8 Teenage Dream Katy Perry 2010 4 421 1.2 3.5 2.8 We Found Love Rihanna Featuring Calvin Harris 2011 8 292 1.2 3.8 2.8 Check On It Beyonce Featuring Slim Thug 2006 6 617 1.1 3.2 2.8 Apologize Timbaland Featuring OneRepublic 2007 7 219 1.2 3.2 2.7 Firework Katy Perry 2011 4 391 1.2 3.6 2.7 Cupid’s Chokehold Gym Class Heroes Featuring Patrick Stump 2007 5 668 1.1 3.1 2.6 Telephone Lady Gaga Featuring Beyonce 2010 4 664 1.2 3.3 2.6 Payphone Maroon 5 Featuring Wiz Khalifa 2012 4 589 1.1 3.5 2.6 Blurred Lines Robin Thicke Featuring T.I. + Pharrell 2013 10 674 1.2 3.3 2.6 Dynamite Taio Cruz 2010 4 413 1.1 3.3 2.5 Toxic Britney Spears 2004 4 289 1.2 3.2 2.5 U + Ur Hand Pink 2007 4 478 1.2 3.5 2.5 Promiscuous Nelly Furtado Featuring Timbaland 2006 8 588 1.2 3.3 2.4 Can’t Hold Us Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Featuring Ray Dalton 2013 4 758 1.2 3.4 2.4 Happy Pharrell Williams 2014 5 544 1.2 3.5 2.3 Dark Horse Katy Perry Featuring Juicy J 2014 5 470 1.2 3.5 2.2 Say It Right Nelly Furtado 2007 4 247 1.1 3.2 2.2 I Gotta Feeling Black Eyed Peas 2009 7 646 1.2 3.2 2.1 Whatcha Say Jason DeRulo 2009 4 544 1.1 3.6 2.1 SexyBack Justin Timberlake 2006 5 644 1.2 3.3 2 Since U Been Gone Kelly Clarkson 2005 7 288 1.1 3.3 2 Boom Boom Pow The Black Eyed Peas 2009 7 526 1.1 3.6 1.9 Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) Katy Perry 2011 6 460 1.2 3.6 1.9 Grenade Bruno Mars 2011 5 447 1.1 3.3 1.9 Run It! Chris Brown 2005 4 706 1.1 3.3 1.8 Hey Ya! OutKast 2004 6 497 1.2 3.4 1.8 Gives You Hell The All-American Rejects 2009 4 463 1.1 3.4 1.7 Poker Face Lady GaGa 2009 5 573 1.1 2.9 1.5 Wide Awake Katy Perry 2012 4 354 1.2 3.4 1.5 TiK ToK Ke$ha 2010 7 499 1.1 3.4 1.4 So What Pink 2008 5 494 1.1 2.9 1.2 Moves Like Jagger Maroon 5 Featuring Christina Aguilera 2011 6 469 1.1 3.3

Now I finally arrive at Pop. Maroon 5 really put it best when they pointed out that “it’s not always rainbows and butterflies.” That line may have gotten them high points, but their odd tongue-centered request was enough to undo it all.

Katy Perry is in a similar position, with high and low scoring songs leaving her averaging out somewhere in a muddled middle. On the other hand, maybe we can just attribute her higher scoring songs to Snoop.

Pink on the other hand is a much simpler picture. True, her repeated use of words like “nah” puts her in good company (The Beatles, for example); but in terms of “smart” lyrics, she doesn’t do herself any favors.

Okay Children, What Have We Learned?

What have we learned here? Well, the concept of creating for the lowest common denominator is certainly going strong. So what if popular music doesn’t tend to lend itself to sophistication? Are most of these songs still great? Definitely.

Perhaps we can be a little less judgemental of elementary schoolers (you know who you are). It also wouldn’t hurt to be a little more judgemental of contemporary songwriters. More than anything, these findings are a reminder of just how fun dumb can be. In the end, there’s nothing wrong with that.