Sour 'n Sweet

Swan Song

~S~ | ~S~ | ~S~ | ~S~ or, if you prefer: " Soswswso !"

pronounced with a sharp hissing sound, as if to show disapproval, displeasure or contempt... or maybe relief?

...image -say- a tired old "snake locomotive" suddenly escaping steam...

"Olorum morte narratur flebilis cantus, falso , ut arbitror, aliquot experimentis" so take these silly ramblings ( Note 1 ) cum grano salis ...and anyway:so take these silly ramblings (



Late April 2009 (0027)



~ Sour ~

Ok, so all the cures I had to undergo for almost two years: two complete and quite debilitating chemotherapy cycles, 4 operations, many biopsies, uncounted PET scans and MRIs, months spent inside a clinic... did not work out .

The metastases escaped from the throat: my dutch professor managed to stop everything but not the liver tumour, and my liver is now imploding. So it is a matter of weeks, not even months.

My remaining choices are to die in a clinic, to die home or to ask for euthanasia (the last I will of course do if needs arise... fortunately this is a civilised EU-country and religious nuts don't have here -at least for now- enough power to nuke my rights just to appease and placate the alleged wishes of their dubious godzilla).



I'll go for home: it seems (again: this ubiquitous "seem") that I will die while asleep. I will "just" get weaker ( and yellower , gosh: nothing like a terminal tumour to become really ugly) until one day I won't wake up any more. If so, fair enough: you go with a gentle puff on your final trip, an experience that btw is usually reported as unique and unrepeatable :-)



Anyway if universe and time are really infinite (which I somehow doubt), then an almost "metempsicotically identical" combination of neurons will re-appear again somewhere, e.g. on another galaxy and planet... hopefully one with less imbeciles.