Guns and meth don’t mix, friends, and this cautionary tale from Wenatchee, Washington will just prove it.

Eastern Washington, in sharp contrast to the tree-filled tech utopia of Seattle, is a stark wasteland of desert, wind farms and methamphetamine. Martin Eugene Hoyer was a fan of that third item, and earlier in the month he embarked upon a multi-day meth binge that would end badly for him.

On Sunday, September 13th, police were called by Hoyer’s next-door neighbor when she reported that he was standing outside of her window with a .45 revolver, claiming that she and some Mexicans were plotting to rob him. When she called the cops, Hoyer fled to another neighbor’s apartment, brandishing the gun and ranting that there were Mexicans coming out of the trees to attack him and he needed to protect her. When she refused to open the door (a very good decision), Hoyer tucked his gun into the waistband of his pants and tried to kick her door down.

That would turn out to be his worst idea all day. When Hoyer lifted his leg, it depressed the trigger of his revolver and it went off, sending a bullet through his abdomen and into his testicles. His neighbor opened up to see him writhing on the ground in pain and called an ambulance. When EMTs arrived, they found the meth-addled wanna-be hero walking to his truck and took him to the hospital, where they removed the bullet as well as an older one from a previous altercation.

Hoyer didn’t do any damage to his gonads with the stray shot, but it still wasn’t pleasant. Police searched his house and came up with enough evidence to book him on counts of first-degree assault, felony harassment and unlawful possession of a firearm.

Source: Yakima Herald