Tennessee facing down the Oklahoma Sooners in Neyland Stadium.

The Vols travelling to The Swamp to end the eleven-year streak against the Florida Gators.

These games will be immortalized in the minds in the minds of Vols fans as two of the biggest let-downs in Tennessee Football history. Some have gotten over the losses, which felt like kicks to the testicles from steel-toed boots, but others, like your alcoholic uncle Jim – who is still cradling his bottle of Jack Daniels in the fetal position—and Coach Butch Jones, have not yet come to terms with the result of these games.

As for Jim, he may have to check into rehab to overcome these defeats and his alcoholism, but Butch Jones has a much larger plan.

Coach Jones plans to challenge the NCAA and change the way college football games are played by reducing game time to only three quarters.

In his weekly Monday press conference, Butch announced to the media that football would best be played in three, fifteen-minute quarters so that coaches who make frequent, elementary mistakes will have less time to fuck something up.

“Our analytics team has decided we will have a much better shot at being a playoff team if I don’t have a fourth quarter to blow leads in,” said Coach Jones, with Vol superstars Jalen Hurd and Jalen Reeves-Maybin nodding in agreement from across the room.

SEC coaches including Bret Bielema of the Arkansas Razorbacks – who is also infamous for destroying his team’s chances of winning– were staunchly against reducing game time to three quarters.

“I just wanna beat the orange off Tennessee one more time before I go completely senile and head to the nursing home,” said Gamecocks coach Steve Spurrier, who is 13-8 against the Vols over his [too] long career.

As of Tuesday, the NCAA is not even considering Butch’s suggestion; instead, they are not-so-secretly hoping for many more years of Tennessee coaching changes and for UT fans to die prematurely of stress related heart complications.

-Chapman