We’ve been following Liz Keener on Twitter for some time now – not that she’s ever followed us back, but hey, you can – and came upon this article that she wrote two days ago about bikini bike washes. In it Liz laments about a dealership email newsletter in her inbox:

There’s no way I’m the only female receiving this e-newsletter who’s not excited about the upcoming bikini bike wash.

Liz, you’re absolutely right.

To be honest, I’m a straight, single, male, motorcyclist, in my mid to late twenties, with disposable income and a two car garage with three bikes in it. I don’t know if I’m the exact demographic that the dealership was hoping to attract with their bikini bike wash, but I can’t be too far off.

And guess what? I really don’t care about bikini bike washes either.

Liz brings up a few reasons why she thinks men wouldn’t be interested in the event.

Sure, most of your customers are probably men, many of whom may be amped up about the bikini bike wash. But trust me when I tell you, all the men reading your e-newsletter aren’t excited about it either, for any multitude of reasons.

So what exactly does Liz suggest are the reasons why men might not be interested in bikini bike washes?

Maybe there’s no way their wife would let them attend such an event

That’s a rough start! Are motorcyclists not passionate about freedom? Would we really marry men or women who would have to give us to go where we want to go and do what we want to do? Hey, maybe this kind of attitude is the reason why I’m single, but I prefer that over needing to ask permission to go to a silly bike wash.

or maybe they’re old enough that they just see the bikini-clad women as their daughters or granddaughters,

This really doesn’t apply to me either.

or maybe they’re put off because they’re reading your e-newsletter at work and worse than getting caught with a motorcycle on your screen is an image of a bikini-wearing girl.

Sure, I guess that’s a possibility, but really, according to a 2014 Marketing Land article, 66% of email is opened via mobile. Sorry Liz.

Instead, let me provide you with the reasons why I don’t go to bikini bike washes:

1) Ever gotten your motorcycle washed at a bikini bike wash? It’s a lot of dirty water and dirty cloths. The emphasis is on bikini, not on bike, or on wash. You’ll probably go home and wash it yourself.

2) These women are people, and some of them are my friends. Outside of the beach I don’t need to be in public gawking at my friends in their bikinis. That’s what Facebook and Instagram is for.

3) Really, who enjoys having a bunch of people standing around staring at them while they work? Do onto others…

4) I don’t need to need to go to a bikini bike wash to hang out with partially dressed women. I have this thing for that. It’s called a cell phone.

5) I don’t want to be that guy. You know the guy I’m talking about. He stands around. Takes pictures. Thinks he’s flirting with the girls because he knows their names. He’s a creep. The girls don’t like him. Don’t be that guy.

Are bikini bike washes evil or bad? Hell no. They’re just not something I care to be a part of, for none of the reasons Liz mentioned. But I do see the overall point behind her article:

If you’re noticing your average customer is an aging male, and you want to bring new buyers into the store, you’re not going to draw in the female base by hosting too many events that don’t at all cater to their liking.

Well said, sister.

I’m not saying all events have to include female-friendly activities, but they can include rider-friendly activities that would appeal to both sexes. Think about bike shows, PG&A sessions, stunt shows, food trucks, concerts, etc., that can draw in the largest variety of people, appealing to both your current customers and those who you’d like to be selling to tomorrow. The more that your events appeal to a variety of people, the more likely you are to draw a new group of people into your store, and that, in turn, opens opportunities to make new sales.

Stunt shows, concerts, bike shows, all cost much more than bikini bike washes, but we we get it. So here’s my question for you:

Bikini Bike Washes – do these draw you in, or keep you away from a dealership or event?