• No date : (

• Bad date : ( : (

• Juice Cleanse

• You are still just really busted up about this salt news

• Gotta catch “Rocky I­V” before it goes off Netflix

• You’re in the middle of binge-watching these super old episodes of “Criminal Minds” and Doctor Spencer Reid was just taken hostage by James Van Der Beek

• You would rather being doing literally anything else

• You really feel like it’s important to keep last year’s resolution: never do this to myself again.

• You’re aggressively opposed to noisemakers

• Also Ryan Seacrest

• Also surge pricing

• Your cat just died

• Your cat might die

• You have a cat

• Or are at least thinking about getting one, maybe

• There’s probably a cat video on the Internet you’ve been meaning to watch

• No but seriously guys what is going to happen to Doctor Spencer Reid

• You’re really more of a dog person when you think about it

• You’re playing in the Winter Classic

• Wait are you Jonathan Toews?

• You’re in Hawaii. Sorry not sorry.

• INCLEMENT WEATHER!