The Watch Snob Challenge: Panerai

Watch Snob: The Final Word On Panerai

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Everyone is a snob about something. For some, snobbery manifests itself in coffee. These people bypass the chains for the organic/shade-grown/bird-friendly roaster down the block. Movie snobs eschew blockbusters for films with subtitles and female leads who don’t shave their underarms. But let’s set aside the rather vulgar term “snob,” with its negative connotations. Regardless of the object of your discernment, the common theme among us is an appreciation for the essence of something, for its purity of spirit and its respect for traditions.

I am a snob about watches. I have, shall we say, rather discerning opinions about timepieces. Watchmaking is a centuries-old art form, and I consider that it deserves to be honored as such. This means those who deign to call themselves watchmakers should be honest about the craft and push forward the limits of mechanical timekeeping without losing sight of their lineage. I hold no quarter for watch brands that claim to be what they are not, and for those who peddle stories instead of timepieces.



While I don’t limit my snobbery to watches, it is the topic on which I am asked to expound 52 weeks out of the year. For this penance, I am rewarded with skepticism, derision, accusations and occasional appreciation. As my faithful disciples know, my greatest horological annoyance is the hostile takeover of otherwise fine brands by the cabal known as Marketing Departments. Unlike watchmakers who spend years honing their skills through apprenticeships, Marketers often drift into a watch brand from a similar posting at, say, a perfume or luggage company, and adopt the same saccharine tactics. They lazily rely on questionable legacies, tenuous ties to automobile racing and aviation, and celebrity endorsers or, as the Marketers like to call them, “friends of the brand” — as if these bloated-ego actors and athletes came to them out of pure enthusiasm instead of a desire for a free timepiece and invitations to product launches in exotic locales.



The saddest part of this Marketing overthrow is that many of the brands actually are building fine watches that could stand on their own merits. We are seeing nothing short of a renaissance in watchmaking, and the confluence of modern materials and techniques with centuries-old traditions are resulting in some exceptional timepieces. Achievements as grand as a constant force escapement or as simple as a hand-finished bridge should be celebrated. But instead the Marketers use limited editions and red carpet appearances to pander to the masses.



I may be a snob, but I do not play favorites. Show me a good timepiece and I will, regardless of the name on the dial, heap praise as quickly as I will dress down a prestigious maison for lazy watchmaking or Marketing-driven drivel. One name I have been hard on for years is Officine Panerai. Lest readers think my dislike for this brand is merely based on a bad plate of calamari in Portofino or a failed relationship with a Venetian, neither played into it, I assure you. My problem with Panerai has been with a distinct lack of authenticity — certainly in the years since Rambo relaunched what was once a government-contract instrument maker into the public eye (and the Richemont stable). While Panerai has been none too eager to trade on its storied history as an Italian family business, it was quick to leave Florence behind for the cozy confines of Neuchâtel and build a company that bears little resemblance to its former self, other than grainy photos of Mussolini’s frogmen blowing up ships while wearing Panerai watches.



Since the rebirth of Panerai in the late 1990s, the company has buttered its focaccia by selling two styles of bloated cases with $200 pocket-watch movements at prices more suited to a true manufacture, citing a higher level of finishing as justification. My distaste for the oversize-watch fad is well known, but even this I could overlook if Panerai weren’t selling its steroidal action-hero-size watches for equally steroidal prices.