Will Noble

Man Who Lives In Lewisham Says He Definitely Lives In Blackheath

A man from Lewisham yesterday insisted he lives in Blackheath, despite the fact he categorically lives in Lewisham.

Tom Slazenger, who lives on Conington Road, Lewisham said: "I'm really lucky to live here in Blackheath. It's a very different quality of life to certain surrounding areas I won't mention."

How many people can say their next door neighbour is Danny Baker?

"It's bliss to wake up, look out of my window and see that sweeping expanse of heath. Also, how many people can say their next door neighbour is Danny Baker?"

Slazenger didn't respond to the claim that the view from his bedroom window is actually that of one of south London's largest Tescos.

Lewisham: not the same place as Blackheath. Image: Google

The claim will come as no surprise to the 23,000 Londoners fibbed to each week by friends and work colleagues, about the whereabouts of their house.

Says a spokesperson from location-fib watchdog, OfCentre, "Look for tell-tale signs. Shifty eyes. A strong reluctance to having anyone Google mapping their house. A tendency to tell Uber drivers 'this'll do, just here.'"

It's complicated

But the trend shows no signs of abating. One young woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, admitted, "It's complicated. If I'm chatting up someone hot, I live in Peckham. If my parents are visiting for the weekend, I live in Camberwell."

With that, she headed back to her home, which is technically in Walworth.