You’ve got to love The Swedish Chef! The character is a riot, even though you only understand every second or third word that he is saying. Of course, I’ve sat through more than my share of analysis reviews where the audience could have said the same thing… only they weren’t laughing.

Somehow, Bork! Bork! is just a hell of a lot funnier than heuristic analysis, correlations, coefficients, regressions, and chi squares. And sadder still, quite often the Chef’s ‘Swedish’ is less nonsensical than some of the gibberish nervous analysts can throw around a boardroom. (And if you call them on it, they often imitate that skit where the steam shoots out the Chef’s ears!)

Both The Chef and analysts are fond of formulas. Every Swedish Chef skit I can recall follows the same one. His ingredients turn against him. Then an angry Chef storms about his kitchen swinging axes, tossing bombs, and occasionally running in terror when ‘the meal’ grabs the shotgun. Alas, it never ends well for our chef.

Analysts have their own version of this. Far too often, someone challenges the data. And sometimes, the results are just as bombastic. I have yet to see an axe, a bomb, or a shotgun. But, I have seen a fishing pole (honest!), a shoe (not kidding), and at least two analysts storm from the room. None of those incidents ever ended well for the analyst.

So to would-be analysts out there. Avoid the statistical nonsense. Make sure you have thoroughly checked your data. And whatever you do, don’t let the chicken get hold of the shotgun! Thanks for reading.