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00:00 - 00:03 We have received new reports from MIT

00:04 - 00:05 Students there are celebrating tonight

00:05 - 00:07 There are even parties in Simmons

00:08 - 00:12 And every other dorm and the fraternity houses

00:12 - 00:15 Including the ones on Storrow Drive

00:17 - 00:19 This is not a problem

00:19 - 00:21 I'm sure Dean Colombo will put an end to that

00:24 - 00:26 Mein Fuhrer

00:27 - 00:28 Colombo...

00:31 - 00:33 Colombo just announced his resignation today

00:34 - 00:36 This is why they're celebrating

00:53 - 00:58 Everyone leave except Barnhart, Reif, and Allied Barton Security

01:13 - 01:15 What the FUCK is this????

01:15 - 01:17 Do you know how fucking hard

01:18 - 01:23 I worked to get him away from Columbia? He would've driven that school to the ground too

01:25 - 01:28 How are we even going to manage risk now

01:29 - 01:31 Students will just do whatever the fuck they want

01:31 - 01:34 Like visiting a friend's dorm without jumping through hoops

01:34 - 01:37 They're gonna turn into fucking terrorists

01:37 - 01:40 MIT might as well send all their research over to ISIS!

01:40 - 01:42 Mein Fuhrer, this was a decision made by the administration

01:42 - 01:46 You're a bunch of FUCKING PUSSIES

01:46 - 01:48 Mein Fuhrer, Colombo's policies were universally reviled by students and faculty

01:48 - 01:52 Yeah!? And when something happens and we get sued what the fuck are we gonna do?

01:53 - 01:54 Bend over and get fucked in the ass??

01:56 - 01:57 Bring the lube

01:57 - 02:00 $4.75 million there, $6 million there, $5 million...

02:00 - 02:03 And that was a FUCKING SETTLEMENT

02:04 - 02:08 Do you think I shit diamonds out my ass????

02:08 - 02:13 And who's going to lead the Department of Residential Strife and Lying now?

02:14 - 02:16 Fuck the Soviets, MIT undergrads are going to be the death of me

02:17 - 02:21 Do you know how fun it tap emails and pretend to give a shit about the students?

02:27 - 02:29 We had such grandiose plans

02:30 - 02:34 Close Bexley, concentrate all the frats into a "Greek Village"

02:34 - 02:36 And build TEN New Maseehs

02:41 - 02:42 We came so close

02:43 - 02:47 I should have all of you publicly hanged for treason

02:48 - 02:53 And shoot the students too while we're at it

02:54 - 02:56 That will teach them a lesson

02:56 - 02:59 I got rejected from art school all those years ago

03:00 - 03:02 I HATE it when undergrads are happy

03:04 - 03:07 It's ok, maybe the students won't actually act like drunken morons

03:14 - 03:16 Well, what do we do now

03:19 - 03:23 Colombo's no more. Who will

03:25 - 03:26 replace him

03:31 - 03:33 There is hope yet

03:40 - 03:46 Reddit is even more of a shitshow right now than MIT the past couple years

03:46 - 03:49 And it's all due to their interim CEO