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Speaking of beyond parody

Meet Donald Trump’s impeachment legal team:

With his Senate trial to begin in earnest next week, President Trump has added some high-profile lawyers to his legal team, including Harvard Law professor emeritus Alan Dershowitz and former independent counsel Kenneth W. Starr. Word of the new firepower came as House impeachment managers and Trump’s attorneys scrambled to produce legal briefs ahead of the Senate’s return Tuesday after the holiday weekend.

Starr is, of course, the guy who relentlessly pursued Bill Clinton in the ’90s, and whom Trump described at the time as a “wacko” and a “lunatic.” More recently, Starr was pushed out of his job at Baylor University over accusations that the school failed to respond to allegations of sexual assault against women by members of the football team. (Starr said at the time, in a joint statement with the university, that he would be “leaving his faculty status and tenure” in a split that was mutually agreed upon.) Upon hearing the news that Starr had joined the legal team, Monica Lewinsky tweeted: “this is definitely an ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ kinda day.”

And then there’s Dershowitz. A onetime member of O.J. Simpson’s legal team, the Harvard Law School professor emeritus has more recently been in the news for his association with billionaire pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, whose 2008 sweetheart plea deal Dershowitz helped negotiate. The attorney has also been accused of having sex with a minor he met through Epstein, a claim he has denied. According to Axios’s Jonathan Swan, several White House officials were hoping Trump would decide not to hire a guy with ties to a confirmed monster, but the president “thinks Dershowitz is magnificent on TV.”

Trump may be able to keep his tax returns hidden forever

Or, at least until after the 2020 election, at which point they’ll no longer matter. From the Washington Post: