Thomas St. Myer

tmyer@muncie.gannett.com

Proverbs 13:24 states: "He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly."

There are a countless number of Bible verses we as a society dismiss, but this one is still rooted in our culture, and it's very much engrained in me.

I doubt there's a more divisive topic among parents than whether spanking is an appropriate form of punishment. It's always a hot-button issue, especially after Minnesota Vikings star running back Adrian Peterson was indicted by a grand jury Friday on charges of reckless or negligent injury to a child.

Reports state Peterson used a tree branch to discipline his 4-year-old son after he pushed another one of Peterson's children off a motorbike video game. The "whupping" as Peterson reportedly referred to it in a text to the boy's mother, resulted in cuts and bruises to the child's back, buttocks, ankles, legs and scrotum, along with defensive wounds to the child's hands.

The photos of his son's scars indicate Peterson crossed a line between discipline and abuse. The anti-spanking crowd is up in arms about it and using it to further push their agenda.

I'm not defending Peterson. I can't fathom striking a child that many times with a stick. What I'm defending is a parent's right to discipline his or her children in an appropriate manner, and in some instances that includes spanking.

Just because Peterson went overboard, doesn't mean you or I would if we were to spank our children. And just because spanking doesn't work as a disciplinary measure for one child, or even a majority of children as some studies indicate, doesn't mean it's ineffective for yours.

My mom spanked me on a few occasions. I specifically remember one time when I made the mistake of squirming, so the back of my legs took the brunt of the pain.

I don't remember what I did, but I'm sure I deserved it, and I'm certain it made me think twice about crossing her again. It worked on me.

By contrast, a coworker of mine said he stopped spanking all together after his then 8-year-old son responded by laughing and telling him it didn't hurt.

Spanking, or the threat of it, is still an effective deterrent for my 5-year-old daughter. I've yet to spank my 2-year-old son, Luke, so I can't say how effective it would be for him.

As for Lexi, she knows if she misbehaves, she'll be disciplined. Relegation to her room usually works best, but she knows if she disobeys me, spanking her is an option.

Once it reaches the point where I'm scolding her, she inevitably asks, "Are you going to spank me?"

Depending on the situation, I respond by saying, "Are you going to stop?" or "Are you going to do what I tell you?"

She tearfully nods her head. I then say, "OK, but if you don't, then yes, I'll spank you."

I can count on one hand how many times I've spanked Lexi. I felt horrible each of the previous times. So horrible I wanted to cry myself.

My only regret, though, is that I spanked her each time with an open hand. In hindsight, I should've used a wooden spoon or paddle. I want her to associate my hands with a loving touch, not inflicting pain.

There's a reason Proverbs 13:24 states a rod, not hand.

It's been more than a year since I last spanked her, and if I have my way, it'll remain the last.

But I can assure you, if I warn her and she calls my bluff, I'll take a paddle and spank her again.

Not out of anger. Not out of hate. But because I love her.

Thomas St. Myer is a reporter for The Star Press. He writes this weekly parenting column.