BREAKING NEWS: Rattlesnake Burrito and Rattlesnake Fries Test Item Review

Typically Sundays are my review day. I like to take a Saturday afternoon off from the rigors of child raising and go find something fatty and gross to stuff my face with. I had something that I was really really excited about lined up for this weekend. But life likes to throw you curveballs and today I found out about something that I honestly should have known a while ago.

Everyone who is anyone knows August 16th is the release date for Taco Bells new Limited Time Offer (or LTO as us in the biz like to say). That item is the Double Cheesy Gordita Crunch (CGC). Now don’t get me wrong I LOVE the CGC but this is the most underwhelming LTO they have offered in a really long time. It’s just a regular CGC with a scoop of extra meat between the 2 shells. Blah boring not even going to waste my time. But hold on to your butts (literally, you will find out why later) because that’s not all that is launching today. They are launching 2 test product lines and both are in Ohio. The Reaper burrito and fries and the Rattlesnake burrito and fries. The reaper is available in Cincinnati and the Rattlesnake is available in Columbus. Hey I live in Columbus! How did I not hear about this until day of?? That never happens! I felt like a failure but I was excited to head over to Taco Bell soon as lunch started to try it out. And here’s the review!

First things first there are 2 ways you can order the new product. You can get it in burrito form or French fry form. Or you can just be a gentleman and order both. This is America it’s not France. The ingredients for the items are the following: Steak, Cheese, Creamy Jalapeno Sauce, Fries, and Pickled Jalapenos. They do not go easy on the Jalapenos at all. They are piled high and jam packed in the burrito. I’ve been begging Taco Bell to please bring some sort of LTO that has some spice to it. Every time they advertise something being "diablo" or spicy, it never really is. Which I get it, the majority of people out there can’t handle spice very well. You want to appeal to the mass audience so you can’t make your products too spicy. Still makes me sad. Items like the Daredevil grillers, which promise Ghost Chili Pepper and Habanero flavors. Neither of those 2 grillers had those ingredients in them and neither were all that spicy. Ghost Chili Peppers are some of the hottest peppers in the world. Of course no fast food place is ever going to have them in their products. Law suit waiting to happen. It’s turned into a buzzword for places and it’s time for that to end. I want the Lava Menu back Taco Bell!! The people demand it!

Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised with the spice level of these items. It wasn’t OMG IM DYING level hot but I had a little temple sweat forming and some nose runnage. And really I wasn’t expecting that much. Jalapenos don’t bother me so I’m not quite sure what the source was. Maybe it was the sheer amount of jalapenos, or the combo of them and the creamy Jalapeno sauce. Whatever it was it has some heat. A good, tolerable and manageable heat. I preferred the burrito over the fries which was surprising. I love Taco Bell French fries. LOVE THEM. I think they are the best fast food fries out there.

But if you look at the picture you can see a lot of black at the bottom of the container. Which means they did a horrible job of filling it. I shouldn’t see black I should see fries! Endless fries! I’m sure this will vary location to location, as all Taco Bell food does. Time to get real though. I AM WARNING YOU NOW. This is not something I would eat on a short lunch break ESPECIALLY if you aren’t used to eating spicy foods. You are going to want an afternoon to recuperate. Take a half day you earned it.

The beer I would pair with these items is a Dos Equis with a lime wedge. Light, refreshing, and one of Adams favorites. Here’s to you bud, stay thirsty my friend!

I give the Rattlesnake Burrito and Fries from Taco Bell: 3.9 beers out of 5

By Bernappetit