The Problems With Dating Apps

There are many issues with dating apps today, but they can be summed up quite nicely. Let me show you how: I call it the 7-step problem-process.

Step 1: The Fakes

Let’s break this down. On traditional dating apps today like Tinder, Bumble, Happn, and the list goes on… you swipe on a feed populated with profiles. Allegedly, these profiles are “verified” because they’ve logged in through Facebook. But, I can tell you first-hand that I have many Facebook accounts myself, and if I wanted to put random photos and pretend to be some random person, I could; anybody, in fact, can make fake Facebook accounts, then log into Tinder, Bumble, and the rest.

What’s the problem with having fake accounts on a dating app? Easy. You’re paying to swipe, and paying for premiums that increase your exposure (so people swipe on you more), or allow you to alert people to get their attention (superlike). What happens if you “superlike” a fake? Wasted money is what happens. Wasted time, emotions, and much more in opportunity cost. The bigger problem with fakes is if you end up meeting them… Who knows what they may really be after…

Step 2: The Inactives

Here’s a subtle fact: you can uninstall your dating app (Tinder, Bumble, etc.) but your profile will STILL show up! Crazy right? Not really. The subtlety is in the fact that you’re given an option to “delete” your account, and if you do not choose that before uninstalling, your face is still popping up everywhere.

And, what’s the problem with inactive users? Well, you’re swiping on people who aren’t there! You’d waste your swipes, superlikes, other premiums, and your precious time. It’s a sink of hope.

How you should feel

Step 3: The Swipe-Back

Let’s assume you’ve successfully swiped on a profile that is neither fake nor inactive; let’s take a moment here to appreciate that rarity. Now, cross your fingers and hope the person you’ve swiped right will swipe right back on your profile, otherwise, so close and yet so far.

Step 4: The Unresponsives

Congratulations. You’ve surmounted the first few obstacles, and now you’ve sent “hello!” to your match; or whatever creativity you employ with your pick-up lines.

Tick-tock…tick-tock…tick-tock… It’s been 6 decades and you’re holding your phone dearly, and infused with hope because that’s what love is, it’s hope, right? But nothing here though, here lurks only the dwindling flames of passion, with no source of oxygen. So, repeat steps 1–4.

Step 5: The Digital Fatigue

“Hey!” She responds back.

Assuming this match does not fall into the 35.5% trap, where all that materializes is harassment and unpleasant correspondence, perhaps an ephemeral spark came to life here. Bright enough to be noticed by both parties such that they start planning to meet. A few days pass, and they’ve recycled the same ideas about that ideal night out with wine by the beautiful lake displaying the city’s silhouette. Day after day after day, they’ve evermore adorned, embellished, and conjured a fantastical romance, but only supported by digital transactions. The sad reality is, they will never really have that date they’ve fantasized about because they grew more and more fatigue with every subsequent messaging frenzy.

Step 6: The Crooked Roads

It’s almost happening. They’re real, active, mutual, responsive, and compatible! They’re ready for this. And, they’re going hard.

“Can I have your address, Julie?” he politely requests with unyielding enthusiasm. “Sure! It’s 1320 Banana Road, Lemur City, Madagascar” She donates generously. “Excuse me? Did you say Madagascar?!”

And that was it fellas. I don’t blame him, honestly.

Step 7: The 1%

You’re elite. You’re rare. You’re actually nonexistent for the most part. Yeah, the 1% is theoretical. I am yet to meet someone who’s met someone on Tinder without being an unrealistically attractive male, or a Female with an underwhelming level of pickiness. Let’s deconstruct the 1%:

And, you’ll meet your match.

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