My friend Elise brought us to the Sacramento Antiquarian Book Fair last weekend. Amid $900 Kurt Vonnegut first-pressings and 1950s gay and lesbian paperback romances with names like “Homo Hotel” and “Oriental Lesbian,” Sean found a goldmine of a free pile, and this was hidden within.

In 1988, McDonald’s distributed 80 million of these 33 rpm flexi discs, featuring the “McDonald’s Menu Song,” a lyrical list of every single item on their menu at the time. On 79,999,999 copies of the disc, the chorus trips up and can’t complete the tongue-twisting song. Whoever got the copy with the complete song won $1 million.

The copy I found had clearly not been played before (what if it was the winning one?!), but it still sounds like shit. Enjoy!



Big Mac, Mc D.L.T., a QuarterPounder with some cheese, Filet-O-Fish,

a Hamburger, a Cheeseburger, a Happy Meal, McNuggets,

tasty golden French Fries, regular and larger size,

and Salads, Chef or Garden or a Chicken Salad Oriental,

Big-Big Breakfast, Egg McMuffin, Hot-Hotcakes and Sausage,

maybe Biscuits, Bacon, Egg and Cheese or Sausage, Danish, Hash Browns, too,

and for dessert: Hot Apple Pies, and Sundaes, three varieties,

a Soft-Serve Cone, three kinds of Shakes, and Choc’laty Chip Cookies,

and to drink: a Coca-Cola, diet Coke, and Orange Drink, a Sprite,

and Coffee, Decaf, too, a Lowfat Milk, also an Orange Juice.

I Love McDonald’s Good Time, Great Taste,

and I get this all at one place.

Fun fact: “McDonald’s” in Japanese gets translated to ma-ku-do-na-ru-do.