And what came next, i can feel it now even as I did then. He disappeared in an instant.

I held onto the only physical traces he left behind clinging to the sweater that still bore his scent and sweat. I stood up in the midst of the wreckage around me, such silent violence.

It was then that I felt it. A numb, blinding rage. It was like hearing the swarming buzz of a hive of a million hornets; i turned to look at it outside of myself - contained within a glass case, watching them storm and swirl behind the safety of plated glass.

I looked around at the emptiness, standing in the void. I took up the dusty remnants of my life - 2 sabers and a sweater. Not much to leave behind - except perhaps myself.

I walked back through the hunting mausoleum, leaving its secrets behind, shrouded in darkness. All around me nothing but destruction - all remaining life gone, surrounded by carnage. I looked at the X-Wing with derision, there was nothing left in that path for me. I climbed into the Imperial TIE - a rust bucket - but once again - the garbage would do.

I could still feel his presence in the cabin - would this be the last time? I gazed around the cockpit - Kylo’s chip was engaged into the system. They were about to receive him once again, but not as they expected.

I headed towards the coordinates of the steadfast. On my way I was pulled in by a First Order Cargo Ship “Supreme Leader, what are you doing in this piece of junk? We’ll bring you back”. I remained silent. I exited the TIE and entering into the holding chamber - gazing through a small window, watching the galaxy at a distance.

The ship pulled into the deck of the Steadfast. I could already sense the flurry and preparations- They were expected the Supreme Leader after all - and they were going to get one. The door lock released and the ramp dropped down. Stepping forward, hearing faint chanting, I began to exit.

What would they think as they saw me emerge? Wearing that black sweater with the hole burned through it, a white hood popping out from underneath - pulled down over my eyes, making the best coverage I could.

“It’s the Scavenger girl!” A few of them yelling advancing against me “Where’s the Supreme Leader?!” I stood my ground, I did not flinch. I held my hand out and in a mute rage, Force Lightning erupting, shocking, and blowing back a group of five advancing troopers to their knees. Raising my other hand I blew out the wall behind them leaving the rubble to rain over their bodies. “Your Supreme Leader is Here!” The others stared with respect, the form of respect that is born out of fear. The commanding officer approached me “Welcome Supreme Leader - we await your command”

I proceeded to my husband’s quarters. A hollowness where her once fought passionately over distinct visions of our future. What would he think if he could see me now? Perhaps his dreams in the flesh. This was certainly not my own, so few of which had come to pass before the Light in him had once again had been snuffed out and suffocated - only smoke remaining.

I slept in his bed - what should’ve been our bed. Wrapping his sheets around me, trying desperately to feel his embrace, seeking out his essence and being, trying desperately to feel anything. But all there was was the cold of space, a vacuum of solemnity.

I stayed in those chambers for nearly a week - I slept for what felt like ages, constantly interrupted by fever dreams, the trauma replaying over and over. I made due with the remnants of his clothing for the brief moments I ventured out - waiting for the seamstresses to finish something more suitable.

Eventually, fully adorned, I exited my chambers. Troopers avoiding me in fear as i walked with fire in my eyes. I marched to the commanding deck looking upon a morose broken galaxy through the same large window that Kylo viewed the World.

“Where to set course, Supreme Leader?”

“Kef Bir”



