Trump to Deport Ninth Circuit

Under new rules outlined yesterday in documents released by the Trump Administration, the enter U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit will be deported as early as next Tuesday, along with several other judges "of questionable descent."

Judge Robart of Washington and some members of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit will be seized and dropped off in Syria where, according to the administration, they can now "rule as much as they like."

Stephen Miller explained that the Ninth Circuit could not review the order for deportation because all of the judges are required to recuse themselves because they are personally affected. "Also," said Miller, "the power of the President to do anything is unreviewable, according to my reading of the Constitution and also several magazines I keep in my bathroom."

Asked for further comment, a senior member of the Trump Administration speaking on condition of complete anonymity, Steve Bannon, said, "Uphold this, motherfuckers," during a meeting of the National Security Counsel over a game of beer pong.

