You may or may not know that I have a long-standing one-sided vendetta against screenwriter Jeffrey Bell. This bad blood goes back literally seventeen years. I just double checked. One time last season on AGENTS OF SHIELD he tricked me into liking one of his episodes by basically making Fitz the hero so I just stopped paying attention to everything else. Once I figured out the trick it made me even more mad than usual. Let me be the first to say this: “The Good Samaritan” is fantastic and not because of tricks or gimmicks or overdramatic peril. This episode is amazing because it’s well-written, understands the way the show works, and is really solid on its world-building rules. I never thought I’d give this to Jeffrey Bell of all people but: A+, dude. Mad kudos from me. This was superb.

First of all, let’s all scream, cry, and flagellate ourselves because we have to wait until November 29th for more SHIELD. I knew they’d skip a Tuesday for the US election; I didn’t expect them to skip three. I was saying last week that I was glad Jeffrey Bell didn’t get the mid-season finale this year because he always makes me stop caring about the show. Except he got the quarter-season finale (that’s not a thing) given what just happened to this absurd schedule. Cool, it’s cool. I’m cool with that. I can totally sit on that ending for essentially four weeks without losing my mind. Definitely.

Another thing that Bell did quite well this episode is that he didn’t touch Simmons at all. I instituted a moratorium on him doing anything with her because he always manages to get her so wrong in such a short amount of time that I’m just furious and can’t enjoy anything else in the episode no matter how “cool” it might be. He seriously screws her up that bad. He’s also absolute balls at getting Fitz and Simmons’ relationship right. How, dude? Because he’s actually great at Fitz. So having Simmons sass the Director then black bag herself was ideal. She’s off doing something dangerous and unknown (I thought she might get the tag until I remembered we’d just get a movie trailer on this one. Seriously, I’m already gonna see the movie. Unless that trailer gives me more information about the Agents of SHIELD plot they just need to stop doing that. Those tags are an important part of how this show works.) Meanwhile Fitz is freaking out because a.) she’s mad at him and b.) he can’t get in touch with her and no one knows where she is. Then my boy gets all blasted by some crazy quantum intradimensional energy something or other and well. I’m excited as all hell. I mean you knew something was going to happen to one or the other of them, right? What’s even better is that, hey! He’s not blasted on this mystery adventure alone. He’s got Coulson and Robbie with him, two guarantors of safe passage to some kind of fabulous future plot. Have they avoided the ghost entry on my pre-season no-no list? We’ll see. Even if they were ghosts, my girl wouldn’t let them stay that way. In addition that gives literally everyone who’s left someone deeply important to them to save. Simmons and Mack have Fitz, May has Coulson, and Skye (gdi, Daisy) has Robbie. And Coulson. I mean, let’s be real, they all like each other a lot, it’s not gonna be like “give me one or the other.” This has potential. But, bro, lots of things on Agents of SHIELD have had potential before so I’m not holding my breath, but I’m also holding my breath? Someone check in on me every day or so and see if I’m still living.

I also felt like this episode worked out every structural and emotional problem I’ve ever had with Jeffrey Bell’s writing. He often relies too heavily on just telling us that people like each other or have some kind of connection. This one was easy. For one thing, I already loved Robbie’s brother Gabe and I believed everything about their relationship. All of the actual backstory was completely new to the audience rather than just over-emotional rehash. We learned about their Uncle Eli’s crazy science-magic issues, about Robbie and Gabe getting hurt, and about how Robbie got his powers. (Someone has already asked me if I think that was Johnny Blaze–the original comic book Ghost Rider. I said I neither know nor care. It’s completely irrelevant, but a cool detail if you’re inclined to care about such things.) Jeffrey Bell has utterly botched flashbacks, backstory, and moments of high emotion so often in the past that I’m like “who taught this guy how to write all of a sudden?” He screwed up Ward, dorked with Simmons, and utterly failed at giving us any new heart-tugging information in some overwrought scenes between Skye and her father. You’re not going to get my stone heart to even turn over if all you’re doing is repeating things we already know. This was ace. This was everything I’ve wanted for like three weeks.

I also loved the setup of the whole episode here. Director Mace is looking for Skye (gdi, Daisy–can’t they just change her name back?) and Robbie while Coulson, May, Mack, and Fitz are trying to find Robbie’s uncle and the ghost lady. Everyone has an objective even before they have a mission and everyone’s plot has obstacles that need to be overcome. I loved how they all got separated in the Roxxon facility (which, oh my god, you wait until I get to that.) For the mid-season finale of season 2 (also by Jeffrey Bell), everyone had to be separated so that various things could happen to them. Those separations felt completely contrived and stupid. The characters had to behave in ways that they would all know better than to do, even under duress. By contrast every reason here was phenomenal. Mack left Fitz because they needed one of the Miami EMPs from the Zephyr (bless that thing showing up again. Good use of what you have, show!) Coulson sent May out with the magic spellbook because he wouldn’t trust it with anyone else. That adds up too. And Robbie got left behind because he was fighting a ghost. That also makes perfect sense since he’s the only one who can do that. It’s so pleasing when it all works! I basically don’t even care that Eli is now some supervillain who can manifest matter at will. I’m way more interested in what’s up with my boys. Unless you’re going to make that supervillain power about Zero Matter. Please. Do that. Please?

That’s what got me so good I screamed and smacked my hands together hard enough to leave a bruise and knock the hearing out of my ear for a minute. Once Fitz started talking about Isodyne, Zero Matter, and Roxxon maaaan. Do not play with me about Agent Carter. Actually, oh god, pie in the sky dream? Tying up Agent Carter in plot-pertinent research flashbacks on Agents of SHIELD. After last year I had this elaborate plot that involved keeping Agent Carter, time-travelling FitzSimmons back to the ‘40s, and cancelling Agents of SHIELD. All my favorite things at once. Shush, a girl can dream. They’re not gonna give me those flashbacks, but the crumbs are good enough sometimes. I’ll take those crumbs and devour them with gluttonous glee. It doesn’t take much to connect all the MCU bits, but when they do connect it’s so much fun and so satisfying. I love it.

One last thing before I go: I loved the twist that Eli was the actual mad bad scientist. He was so trite the past two weeks using historically awful tropey language about science and scientists that bugged me. I guess it was supposed to make him seem all wise and sane but it made me not like him because I have specific persnickety parameters. Then to have it turn on its head and have him be the guy who was misusing science for personal gain tickles me to no end. Only bad guys on Agents of SHIELD talk about science like it’s evil! My heart is legit fluttering about it.

I’m pleased as hell. “The Good Samaritan” nails everything it needs to, doesn’t touch stuff it shouldn’t, and even has a bunch of the little tidbits that make Agents of SHIELD so fun. To top it off, it’s got a hell of a cliffhanger over an impromptu hiatus. You mean I have to get through the election and Thanksgiving without my SHIELD to sustain me? Hm. I’m sure I can find something else to satisfy my addiction cravings. There’s gotta be something, right?

Season 4, Episode 6 (S04E06)

Agents of SHIELD airs Tuesdays at 10PM on ABC

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Dana is a digitization archivist by day and a masked pop culture avenger by night. She spreads the gospel of science fiction and fantasy wherever she goes.

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Dana Leigh Brand | Contributor