Why I will let my future children decide what they believe in Hendy Follow May 16, 2019 · 4 min read

If I had a dollar for every person that attends church every Sunday who says they follow Jesus, but really don’t, I would be a very rich woman. I can’t tell you the amount of people my age and older that only believe what they believe because they have been told their whole lives to believe it. These people have never been taught the importance of indulging yourself in research and to see what they believe in rather than what everyone tells them to believe.

My personal reason:

I was never taught to think for myself when it came to religion, I was taken to church on Wednesday’s and Sunday’s and was read a Bible story every night before bed. Now, this wasn’t bad parenting by no means, they did what they believed to be best; however, I was never taught how to deal with all of these other beliefs or what to do if I questioned my faith. Which you guessed it, I did. In a very bad almost led me to be institutionalized way. I read a Bible that has stories in it about other’s experiences. One was about the possibility of God not being real, which was something that absolutely had never been brought up to me before or even thought of. 10 year old me, did not take it very well. This was also the time that my beloved Pawpaw was dying from cancer, so that played into how I took it as well, because I did not understand why this was happening to him. I was convinced since I thought God may not be real I was going to hell, I would wake up screaming from terrifying dreams and could not function because the only thing on my mind was being sent to hell. Yeah, this lasted a good few months, and then my Pawpaw bought me a Bible and in the back it had what to read if your feeling xyz, or scripture to read for any number of things and where to find it. That brought me out of that awful time, because I, myself was able to read into it and decide if that’s what I felt a connection to.

Flash forward a few years to when I was 18, I went through another bout of doubting my faith, and once again, the Bible my Pawpaw had given me helped me, but I also did research into other religions and what they believed. I went to a wide variety of different denominational churches, and found out on my own through research what I feel I truly believe in. Which is what I believed in all along, I just needed to go through a journey to realize it. If my parents had set me down and told me I needed to do my own research and look into things, I honestly don’t believe I would have had such a hard time with it. Which is what I encourage everyone to do with their children and to support whatever decision they come too.

Why not to drill your beliefs without any ifs ands or buts:

If you choose to only bring your children up in what you believe that is fine. Everyone has their own beliefs and ways to raise their children, this is just a recommendation. Sure, tell your child what you believe in, but when they get of an age where they can understand, sit them down, and talk to them about doing their own research and dig deep within themselves and see what they believe in and why they believe in it. Otherwise they will have an experience like I did, and feel like something is wrong with them for doubting or questioning things. Or worse, they could feel as if they are bound and doomed to hell when it is a natural thing to question and explore other options.

Allowing your child a little leadway when it comes to religion and personal beliefs goes a long way. Your child will have a much better relationship with Jesus (if they choose that is what they believe) and a better relationship with you. There are too many people that feel alone and lost because of being in a crisis of faith because they are too scared to talk to their parents about how they feel.

If you allow your child to figure out who they are and what they believe in for themselves, you will have a much better relationship. You will also be giving them the power to be their own person and be an open minded individual. I think we can all agree that the world needs more people who are open minded and that don’t think just because they believe in something everyone else should and that their beliefs are wrong. They may not correlate with what you believe, but that doesn’t mean it is wrong for them. Everyone has their own personalities, beliefs, and ways of living. Personally, that is what makes everyone unique and amazing in my mind. Now, if we could just get everyone to agree to disagree and love one another regardless of different point of views.