Trevor Noah, Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers discussed the failure of the Republican healthcare plan and rollback of environmental regulations

Late-night hosts addressed the GOP healthcare bill on Tuesday night, which collapsed after four Republican senators came out in opposition to it.

“Trumpcare is no more,” Trevor Noah of Comedy Central began. “I don’t know why we’re surprised. We all knew the words Trump and care were never destined to be together.”

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“Last night the Senate plan officially collapsed and luckily for republicans, they had parliamentary genius and foreskin impersonator Mitch McConnell in their corner,” Noah joked. “Republicans have been saying forever that Obamacare is going to fail. It’s in a death spiral. But after years of them trying to kill it, it is somehow the only thing that’s still around.”

“It actually reminds me of something a wise man once said,” Noah teased, in reference to Donald Trump’s infamous line about the difficulties of healthcare legislation. “‘Nobody knew that healthcare could be so complicated.’”

“To add insult to injury, while the GOP’s healthcare dreams were crumbling, Trump wasn’t even helping,” Noah explained. “He was hosting a play-play party at the White House celebrating something called ‘Made in America’ week, where the president basically checked out guitars, wrestled with baseball bats and, of course, his favorite activity, fake-driving a truck.”



Noah continued: “And that’s how the Republican healthcare plan came and went. The truth is, for the Republicans, it’s not looking good. It’s July. Their healthcare plan is officially dead. They have no infrastructure bill. And they’re months behind on tax reform.



“If you’re a Republican,” he concluded, “today sucked balls.”

Stephen Colbert also took aim at the GOP for its failure to pass the Better Care Reconciliation Act or, for that matter, any major pieces of legislation.

“Folks, I know it’s a comedy show, but I have some sad news tonight. As of 10.48pm last night, the GOP healthcare bill was pronounced dead of terminal sucking,” he joked. “It was always a long shot because the Republicans control only all three branches of government. Can’t be expected to do everything.

“It is hard to overstate the level of failure here. Republicans said one thing for the last four elections,” Colbert explained, referring to the “repeal-and-replace” slogan that has dominated the GOP lexicon since the passage of the Affordable Care Act in 2010. “It’s your tagline. It’s your motto. It’s Paul Ryan’s tramp stamp.”

He went on: “Remember two months ago when Trump and the GOP threw that old white guy party when the House passed their version of the bill? Now that celebration, in retrospect, seems almost as embarrassing as Lyndon Johnson’s victory-in-Vietnam luau.”

Colbert then addressed the GOP’s back-up plan, which was to repeal the Affordable Care Act without immediately passing a replacement bill.

“Just take it away and don’t fix it,” Colbert quipped. “Like when your car gets a flat tire, you remove the tire, then cut the brake cables and push the car into a crowd of uninsured old people.



“This morning, they announced they’re going to repeal now and replace later. And tonight, it’s already dead,” Colbert explained, as multiple Republican senators, including Susan Collins and Shelley Moore Capito, expressed opposition to the approach. “This is a good time to remind you that when they knew Barack Obama would veto it, the GOP voted more than 60 times to repeal Obamacare. But now that they can actually do it, they don’t have the balls.

“So, Trumpcare is officially deader than the people who would’ve been dead if Trumpcare had passed,” Colbert joked. “The president had some interesting math to turn this into a win.”

Colbert showed footage of Trump, on Tuesday, saying the 48 Republican votes the bill did procure were still “impressive by any standard”.

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“48-4? That adds up to 52, not 100. You just ignored all the Democratic votes. Anything can be made a success by that logic. If you just take out that one iceberg, the Titanic had a fantastic maiden run. Tremendous boat.”



Seth Meyers of NBC chose to focus instead on the Trump administration’s steady dismantling of the Environmental Protection Agency.

“If you’ve been following the recent saga of the Republican healthcare bill, which, once again, failed to get the necessary votes to pass, you might think the Trump administration isn’t accomplishing anything,” he began. “But there is one department, the EPA, that has actually been quietly implementing big changes, unfortunately for the benefit of a select few.

“For years, Donald Trump has expressed doubt about climate change, once tweeting that global warming was just a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese. In fact, during his campaign, he went so far as to say he would consider getting rid of the EPA altogether, if only he could remember what it was actually called.”

Meyers then showed a clip of Trump referring to the EPA as the DEP.

“Get rid of the DEP,” Meyers imagined Trump saying. “‘There’s no such thing as the DEP.’ ‘Mission accomplished.’”

The host went on: “Now, Trump didn’t follow through on his promise to eliminate the agency. Instead, he put a man in charge whose prior environmental experience consisted mostly of suing the EPA in an effort to help big business. Scott Pruitt being the head of the EPA is the same as New York’s food inspector being a rat with a clipboard.”

Meyers then detailed some of the environmental regulations Pruitt’s EPA have already moved to roll back, including rules that protect streams from pollution.

“Several states are also challenging an even more troublesome decision Pruitt made to reverse a ban on the use of a pesticide that the EPA’s own scientists have said could damage children’s brains,” Meyers said, referring to a chemical often sprayed on food called chlorpyrifos. “And if we have to protect anything, it’s the brains of our children, because when we don’t protect their brains, they take meetings with Russian agents.

“The company that makes the pesticide in question has close ties to the White House,” Meyers said of the firm Dow Chemical. “Dow’s CEO, Andrew Liveris, heads up the White House manufacturing working group, and there he was, right by Trump’s side, as he signed an executive order on reducing regulations across government agencies back in January.



“So the Trump administration is vehemently anti-leak, unless that leak is methane.”