Nebraska State Senator Bill Kintner says he doesn’t “understand women.” In fact, women “don’t even understand themselves.” But he has no problem relying on his Christian background to make decisions for them.

The Lincoln Journal-Star has been featuring several state politicians in a series called “In Their Own Words,” giving readers the opportunity to get to know the people that represent them in state government. In the most recent installment, Kintner got his turn at the mic, and he gave us a couple of real gems.

Biggest mystery? Women. No one understands them. They don’t even understand themselves. Books and books and books have been written about it, and no one understands it.

You hear that, ladies? We don’t even understand ourselves. Even with all those books written about “it.” Thank goodness he pointed that out because for a while there (you know, all my life), I thought I understood what I wanted. I thought I wanted things like family, a good, strong marriage, an education, the freedom to have my own beliefs, to raise my kids in the manner I see fit, and to not have men who have never met me and mean nothing to me make decisions regarding my reproductive system. Good thing Bill Kintner came along and let me know that was just a figment of my imagination. Of course, “men,” he says, “are very easy to understand. Very basic, very simple.”

All sarcasm aside, women must be a real mystery to Kintner since he refers to his wife as “the woman,” referring to her by name only once in parentheses. He goes on to say of their marriage:

In our household, we have a separation of powers. The legislative is downstairs and the executive is upstairs. We don’t talk about what she does on her side and what I do on my side. There’s no sharing of inside information.

Sounds like a wonderful way to run a marriage. I’m sure he’s talking about the fact that he and his wife are employed in separate branches of the same government, right? Then again, this is the same politician who says his Christian belief system, with its “moral absolutes,” is what makes him choose to be “pro-life.” Unfortunately, it seems that he forgot about that other “moral absolute,” that deadly sin or gluttony, when he said:

There’s not much about food that escapes me. I like to eat. If it’s bad, I like it. Big steak and big steak fries. Strawberry short cake and doughnuts.

Or the commandment against idolatry:

Prized possession? My Roger Staubach jersey. He’s from Cincinnati, by the way.

But then again: