I’m angry. Not just angry, furious.

I have been walking around with a fire burning inside me for quite some time.

It’s not about discriminatory incidents or experiences that I’ve gone through. Those were the triggers for my rage, but all that is in the past. I’m angry because of the culture that has been created around diversity. I’m angry about the discourse and the hypocrisy. And I’m furious, not just at “white men”, but also at women, people of color and all those who are trying to lead to change, while leaving me behind.

I’m angry at those who think they are God’s gift to mankind and that they decide who’s good and who’s not, based on their skin color. I’m angry that you’re only good enough for them if you’re a “rich, white male”. I’m angry at those who told me, on more than one occasion, that “if you were white, you would have already completed your Series A Round (because everything else looks amazing)” or “if you had a white partner, you would have been more investable.” I’m angry at those who always thought that my employee was the CEO, because he’s white, and then said “the thing holding you back is that you don’t have a white (male) partner. He needs to be the CEO.”

F*ck you! I’ve bootstrapped my company for 4 years, all the way up to a 7-figure revenue.

When I was a kid, I remember this one time when my grandma sat next to me, looked me in the eyes and said, without any shame: “You aren’t white. If you want to succeed in life, you will need to work very hard. Harder than others.” Yes, I know it sounds like a scene from a movie, but it’s the honest truth. I didn’t believe it, until I made it to Silicon Valley.

Us Asians are cataloged by the same “characteristics” and suffer from similar (so I feel) bias that women experience. We aren’t perceived as leaders, or successful business people. We’re good workers, but not really “management material”. How good or skilled we are doesn’t matter, and neither do the number of our successes or results. Even when I worked for companies, not as an entrepreneur, others made more money than I did. I did the same job, same grade, but at the end of the year I made $20–40k less and they were promoted to managerial positions.

And I hate to say it, but I learned to live with it. I found my own ways of coping.

I’m angry at them, but furious at everyone else.

I’m furious at the way people talk about discrimination. I’m furious at those who have experienced discrimination, but do the same onto others without flinching. Furious at their blind hypocrisy.

It’s time to face the truth, when people talk about diversity it’s almost always about black — white, man — woman.

Asian Americans are not part of the discourse.

Our feelings and experiences — as a minority — are belittled. Our existence is deemed negligible and so is our right to take part in achievements. I was at an event recently about diversity and ERGs, and there was a panel that was supposed to represent diversity. The panel was made up of white, black and Hispanic women, an Hispanic man, a man representing a group of ERGs for LGBTQs and even a white man. All good people, undertaking important work. But I couldn’t ignore the fact that there wasn’t even one Asian American representative.

The diversity discourse is made up of hierarchy, classes and differences.

And this is the exact opposite of the basic definition of diversity.

Bizarrely, there is a common perception that we are a majority. Not really a minority. I’ve heard more than one person say, “There are too many of you.” Really?! No one dares say that to any other group, so why us?

And before you think to yourselves, there really are a lot of you — try to think beyond the definition in your head whereby Asians = Indians, Chinese, Koreans and all the rest. True, China and India account for more than 2 billion people on the planet. They are definitely a majority. But just because I have slanted eyes doesn’t mean that I’m Korean or Chinese! I am Vietnamese, and there’s a significant difference! In Asia, defining and striving for diversity comes from the culture, not from skin color. There are huge cultural differences between the Chinese, Koreans and Filipinos. Does the fact that Indians, Chinese and Koreans are well represented derogate from my right, as a minority, to equal rights? To be part of the struggle and change? The fact that we are defined by skin color cancels our human identity. Does anyone find this reasonable? Tell me that this isn’t exactly the definition of discrimination.

Let’s talk about it from another perspective. We are working ants. That is why it feels like a majority. When numbers are thrown around, such as 15% of the tech industry is Asians, go check — how many directors? How many VPs? How many CEOs?

So don’t tell me that we’re a majority.

Read this article (Often Employees, Rarely CEOs). We’re a minority. Just like the rest of the people of color. How many Asians receive job offers for management positions? Not many, because of their name. I’m telling you this from experience, not just my own, but of those whom I know. Here is another fact — as an entrepreneur, when I asked for help or guidance from organizations trying to promote diversity, I had to deal with real discrimination. Though they didn’t tell me that I wasn’t management material, they told me, “You don’t need help, you’re Asian!” How can you presume to encourage diversity and inclusion when you think and talk like that?

But furthermore, we’re a quiet minority. It’s part of our lifestyle, it’s part of our culture — we don’t raise our voice. And I’m pretty sure that’s why you’ve never heard the truth about what goes on. You never came face to face with someone who showed you the whole picture just so you’d understand what we’re going through.

I’m raising my voice now.

I’m screaming at the top of my lungs. I can’t stay quiet any longer. The truth needs to be set free, for all to hear. For you to understand. Stop this hypocrisy.

I’m sick and tired of both sides discriminating against me, against us. On the one hand, white men ostracize us, and on the other hand women and people of color ostracize us as well. We don’t have a side, we don’t belong to any group. We need to deal with discrimination coming at us from both directions.

If you really want to achieve diversity and inclusion in the USA and in the tech industry, but true diversity and inclusion — you can’t ignore us. You can’t leave us stuck in the middle, alone. Excluded.