Which bathroom to use at school is something most students don’t give a second thought, but for Dominic Duff, a 15-year-old transgender student at Vancouver’s Lord Byng secondary, it is an uncomfortable question.

“You can’t use the female washroom because someone’s going to yell at you because you look like a guy, right? And if you use the male washroom, someone’s going to yell at you because you’re not technically a guy ... you don’t feel safe there, either,” he explained. “Usually I use the handicap washroom, which isn’t really the best thing, either.”

Dilemmas like this, faced by most transgender students, are the reason an expanded Vancouver school board policy on sexual orientation and gender identities is needed, Duff said.

Bathrooms are just one aspect of it. There are also questions around which change room to use, which sports teams transgender students should play on, and, during sexual education classes, whether to go with the boys or the girls.

The school board is considering expanding and revising its policy, first drafted in 2004, to address some of these questions, but critics say it could lead to teachers pushing an agenda on children without their parents’ knowledge.

“Children are very impressionable and can be led in a certain direction and if anyone’s going to lead them in directions, it should be their parents, not teachers,” said Lord Byng parent Cheryl Chang, who is head of the school’s parent advisory council, but spoke with The Sun representing herself and others who share her views.

At issue is a requirement under the policy that teachers not divulge information about a student’s sexual orientation or gender identity to anyone, including parents, without the permission of the student.

But because of issues such as which bathroom or change room to use, transgender students may have to reveal their identity to a teacher or counsellor before they are ready to come out to their parents. They should be able to do that without fear their parents will find out, said 16-year-old Lord Byng student Violet Read, who supports the policy.

But the policy does not just apply to high school students who may confide in a counsellor, Chang countered. It applies to students as young as kindergarten.

“We’re not talking about older children who have certain things they want to keep confident with a counsellor,” she said. “It’s just not appropriate for teachers to try and overtake that role and raise our kids and tell them what’s right and wrong and what their values should be. It’s the parents’ job to teach values to children, not the school’s.”

Chang also expressed concern that the policy makes no provision for students who may identify as transgender at early ages, but in fact are not. It could lead to teachers assuming, for example, that a little girl with short hair who likes to wear pants and play with boys is in fact transgender, Chang said.

“What does the teacher do? The teacher starts to advocate for her and say ... ‘You know what? You’re really trans and we’re not going to tell your parents.’ You can’t have those kinds of conversations behind a parent’s back.”