For James Franco, art without dildos is as incomplete as a cake without icing: Without their necessary complements, each is but the dry, ordinary bread of life, served without the sweet, creamy salve of frosting or whatever lubrication is on your dildo. So naturally, when it came time for James Franco to celebrate his 35th birthday, he did so with a cake topped with a dildo—because as Franco’s life is inseparable from Franco’s art, so the cake celebrating Franco’s life is inseparable from dildos.


Miami-area bakery Caked By Two created the confection for Franco, his Interior. Leather Bar co-director Travis Mathews, filmmaker John Cameron Mitchell, and friend Cassandra Simon, as a nod to Franco and Matthews’ film reimagining the gay and S&M scenes from Cruising, as well as a nod to the many ongoing gay and S&M scenes that have comprised Franco’s 35 years on Earth. This ostensibly explains the presence of anal beads, cat o’ nine tails, and ball gag—beyond the fact that this is a cake for James Franco, of course. And as everyone who’s gotten a little older knows, the reason there’s just the one big dildo—and not 35 little dildos—can probably be attributed to Franco’s embarrassment. [via BuzzFeed]