A boob; that’s what I am, a boob. — Barney Fife

When Officer Andrew Maddox of the state Parks and Recreation Department busted Middle Park High School for operating as a commercial river outfitter without a license, it was classic Barney Fife.

The sophomore class had been planning the trip for weeks. Sixty-four kids had raised money to pay the costs for food and expenses; the tents and rafts were packed; 18 teachers had organized two days of hikes and activities; and everybody was excited.

Then Maddox showed up at the Pumphouse access station along the Upper Colorado River on May 24 and threw the book at them.

“It was just absurd,” said Jack Van Horn, parent of one of the students and a former river outfitter. “It’s bureaucracy run amok.”

Maddox, apparently abandoning all common sense, cited the teachers for violating state statute 33-32-102(3.3), which requires commercial river outfitters to obtain state licenses.

But last time anybody checked, Middle Park High School was still a school, and the team-building, outdoor education program that includes an afternoon of floating down the Colorado was still just a class field trip.

Or it was until Maddox showed up and nixed a tradition that has continued for 35 years.

In his written explanation for citing teacher Jack Dugwyler as a law-breaker, the state river ranger said the incriminating evidence included an “advertisement” for the trip contained on the calendar of the school’s website and the notice sent to parents. He also insisted that the $50 students paid for food, transportation and other expenses constituted profit for the school.

“It’s our contention that we were not advertising and not charging a fee,” said Robb Rankin, superintendent of East Grand Schools, who has taken the trip himself.

As every parent knows, schools send notes home all the time, and they’re always begging for money to cover the costs for everything from field trips to Kleenex for the classrooms.

Rankin said he thought for certain that the district could explain the circumstances and get the charge dismissed. Van Horn even contacted Gov. Bill Ritter’s office asking for help.

Ritter’s chief of staff, Jim Carpenter, is an alumnus of the school and went on one of the raft trips back in the 1970s. “It was a long time ago,” he said, “but I remember that it was a great trip.”

Carpenter said he called Parks and Rec and asked officials there to look into the situation.

They are hanging tough.

“The way they want to resolve it is to have the teacher plead guilty and accept the consequences,” Rankin explained. “That’s simply unacceptable.”

Rankin said the teacher was only doing his job, after all, and the school was operating under the assumption that it wasn’t a commercial enterprise this year, last year — or ever.

So Rankin is taking the case to Grand County Court.

The hearing will be at 8:45 Tuesday morning and Rankin suggested students and their parents “come to see first-hand how the judicial system handles a case (in) which you are intimately involved.”

Van Horn and his daughter, Kristin, plan to attend.

As a former outfitter and one who worked with state officials to write the licensing statute back in 1984, he’s convinced it is being misinterpreted.

“You have a school district that has invested a lot of time, energy and money into something designed to be an educational experience and that’s totally undermined by somebody way, way, way overstepping his boundaries,” he said.

For her part, Kristin Van Horn is just hoping the issue is resolved so the week-long camping/rafting trip for juniors can be held as planned next spring.

This year, “everyone was really disappointed,” she said. “For some kids it was going to be their first time rafting.”

Instead they ended up paddling around Shadow Mountain Reservoir for a while. “It was really boring,” she said.

No one from the Parks and Recreation Department was available for comment. They were busy.

Channeling Mayberry, I presume.

Diane Carman’s column appears Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. Reach her at 303-954-1489 or dcarman@denverpost.com.