On his office balcony Jeremy Corbyn has a small olive tree, and he once promised branches for his opponents. But the little tree need not fear being stripped bare: not one branch has yet been proffered. The man of peace shows no magnanimity in his great victory. Instead his gentler, kinder politics is bent on securing an absolute grip on the party, seizing all levers through control over the party’s rule-making body – the national executive committee (NEC). His calls for “unity” are only a call for capitulation and obedience.

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He faces a host of adamant, despairing, irreconcilables on the backbenches. True, he has trounced them so thoroughly that any mutterings of future challenges are an empty blast of sour breath. Some behaved neither wisely nor well – though Owen Smith, who faced the contemptuous daily catcalling with bravery and good humour, deserves more praise than he gets.

Corbyn could apply a little balm to the great gash in his party. If he meant peace and unity, he could stop dead all talk of deselecting MPs, and protect MPs such as Walthamstow’s Stella Creasy and Brighton’s Peter Kyle, threatened by bullies acting in his name. He could just say no, but he doesn’t. When he says “the vast majority” won’t be deselected that’s an unveiled threat. When he says it’s down to the democratic decision of local parties, he makes “democracy” sound like a nuclear weapon – an idea borrowed from his mentor Tony Benn’s Campaign for Labour Party Democracy.

If unity were his mission, he could return to the 2011 rule giving MPs a vote for shadow cabinet places. He can and does ignore the shadow cabinet’s views – but they would get three crucial places on the NEC, and that’s why he refuses.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest ‘If Corbyn meant peace and unity, he could stop dead all talk of deselecting MPs, and protect MPs such as Walthamstow’s Stella Creasy’ (pictured above). Photograph: Linda Nylind/The Guardian

The key rule change he wants from the NEC is to reduce the votes of MPs and MEPs needed to put a candidate on the ballot in future leadership elections from 15% to 5%: that ensures one of his own on the list, and the present party membership would then be able to select a successor in Corbyn’s image.

How shortsighted not to make minor concessions that would put opponents in his debt. All this Machiavellian back-room manoeuvring is out of keeping with his benign, almost devotional image. The few iron-fisted organisers bent on deselections are well hidden from the great wave of sincere followers.

I have been besieged at this Labour conference by thoroughly decent people who cannot understand why I and many Guardian colleagues can’t just get behind Corbyn. Doesn’t he stand for all the things we advocate? Some are young, but many are my age flocking back to Labour after leaving long ago over Iraq and a host of disappointments. Everyone – yes, everyone they know – has joined this mass movement, this great wave for a better society. If only we would see that they are ready to sweep the country off its feet, a Podemos, part of a great global shift – so please, please, join us!

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They are polite and earnest, not brick throwers, but good people who have mainly spent lifetimes in the public or charity sectors. Look at John McDonnell’s strong speech on the economy, which does promise so much I would support, and little in principle I would disagree with – from a higher minimum wage, to taxing the avoiders and investing in industry. So why not?

My answers sound cynical, worldly and unworthy in the face of this surge of belief. Why not? Because Corbyn and McDonnell, burdened by their history, will never ever earn the trust of enough voters to make any plans happen. After George Osborne’s lethally successful branding of Labour as irresponsible, debt-ridden, magic-money-tree feckless borrowers, it will take heavy spadework of reassurance to win back trust. All McDonnell’s plans are popular, but he offers nothing to allay the voters’ fear that Labour doesn’t do “tough choices”.

At one conference meeting when a speaker said Labour must win some Tory votes, someone shouted out: “Why? We don’t want Tories!” So I find myself arguing dry psephology against passionate conviction. It’s depressing, but here’s the Fabian Society’s analysis: Labour needs 104 seats in England and Wales and 40% of the vote to win. In the marginals, four out every five of the extra votes must come from those who were Tory last time. Even if the young are energised and turnout soars to Scottish referendum heights, it gets nowhere close. Even if every single Liberal Democrat and Green vote went Labour, that only gives 29 seats. Even if Ukip were crushed, its vote divides equally Labour and Tory. As Labour wins radical votes, it risks losing moderate votes to the Tories: 2% went that way last time. Read the research yourself and groan. It hurts.

In one fraught conversation after another, I try all this on Corbyn believers but to no avail. No compromise, blocked ears, total denial of electoral facts, a post-truth conviction. You can hear this non-meeting of minds everywhere at this conference, a shutter of incomprehension dividing the two sides. “But we can convince them! People will listen!” They do think Corbyn will be the next prime minister, because conviction moves mountains. These are likable people, and I envy their certainty – the way you can envy the religious their delusions.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest The comedian Eddie Izzard (centre) in the audience at the Labour conference. Photograph: Jon Super/EPA

A solid old councillor from Sunderland spoke up emotionally at one meeting about his experience, week in and week out, on the doorstep. His local party has doubled in size – though none join the small bunch of doughty old canvassers. He finds half the old Labour voters on his patch turning away: not Labour any more, not while Corbyn’s the leader, they say.

The refusenik MPs, struggling to find their footing after this crushing defeat, seem all over the place, thrashing about for a handhold as the abyss opens under their feet. Some are snatching at “No free movement” as a red line in the Brexit negotiations, as if anti-immigration might save them between the Scylla and Charibdis of Ukip and Momentum. But McDonnell struck the better note on cleaving to the single market.

What hope for a party that threatens to be irrelevant for years to come? The best of Labour is in power, in the cities as leaders and mayors, competent and imaginative in struggling with monstrous cuts – from London’s Sadiq Khan to Nick Forbes in Newcastle. Otherwise it’s a matter of waiting until enough party members come to terms with grim electoral reality and decide to compromise with the voters. Does that really need a devastating election defeat?