Get over a Breakup Fast and Move on with Life





Nothing can throw you into a pit of despair quite the same way a bad breakup can. Rom-coms and sitcoms simplify the process of how to get over a breakup: In reality, once you’ve found the bottom of multiple pints of mint chocolate chunk, you may find yourself picking up even worse habits — ignoring your friends, neglecting your work, and generally not practicing any self-care. You’ve been told all your life that there are more fish in the sea (you’ve seen them!), but why is it just so hard to get over a breakup?Whether he broke up with you or you're the one who ended the relationship, breaking up genuinely sucks. The end of a romantic relationship is a very real painful loss and it's going to take time for you to fully recover. That being said, there are ways you can get over a breakup more quickly and surprisingly they all involve embracing the sadness and feeling the pain.Though nothing can really prepare you for the sting of a breakup, there are ways to become more resilient and speed up your breakup recovery time. We spoke to several relationship experts and therapists to get some tips for how to get over a breakup with someone fast.When you’re suffering through a painful breakup, it’s hard to imagine that you’ll ever find another partner, much less, want one! There’s a cliche that it takes one week to get over each month of a relationship, but who has that much time to dwell on the past?Breakups are just a fact of life that we all have to get through from time-to-time — like vaccines or trips to the dentist. For others [raises hand], breakups feel so awful that they put them off dating completely. Regardless of which group you fall into, you’ve probably had to deal with at least one breakup and may have more in your future.Though nothing can really prepare you for the sting of a breakup, there are ways to become more resilient and speed up your breakup recovery time.Getting over a breakup is difficult. But these tips will get you the way on how to get over a breakup fast and move on soon.The first thing you need to do is let yourself feel sad. Don't try to skip over the painful part of the breakup by putting on a brave face that won't work, because that's how you get stuck in the grieving process for months, even years. You won't get over the breakup until you face those emotions, so do what you want. Close the blinds, call a girlfriend, watch sad movies, and cry your eyes out. Get a massage, eat foods, and commit to feeling sad instead of trying to repress your emotions that's key.Avoid second-guessing yourself once you end the relationship. Even if you did not end it, don’t start wondering what you did wrong. Relationships end for good reasons. One of you wasn’t happy or getting what you wanted.Accept that the relationship is over, and now, you have a fresh start to do it right next time.If your partner was the one who initiated the break-up, it’s common to start picking apart your physical appearance and personality traits, questioning what areas you’re lacking in that would cause someone to fall out of love with you. Focus on what you really value in yourself and what you brought to the relationship, rather than what qualities you don’t possess. Write a list and think of traits that speak to your character, emotional strengths, skillsets, abilities, and any other quality that has value in a relationship. If you’re having a hard time coming up with ideas, tap your closest friends and family, who would jump at the chance to share all the reasons they feel fortunate to have you in their lives.After a breakup, your brain has a tendency to become your worst enemy. You may catch yourself obsessively thinking things like:I'm going to end up alone.I'll never be able to find someone better than him.No one is going to put up with my crap like he did.He's probably already met someone better.No one is ever going to love me again.When the obsessive thoughts start taking over your usually rational mind, it's your job to control them. When you feel yourself going down the negativity rabbit hole, ask yourself, “What’s another way of looking at this? How likely is it really that I’m never going to meet anyone as good as him?” Ask yourself rational questions to interrupt the obsessive thoughts, and remember that this breakup happened for a reason.After a breakup, no one is expecting you to be all sunshine and rainbows all the time. People understand that you need time to control your emotions. If we try to pretend like breakups don’t hurt by ignoring our heartache, all we’re doing is creating bigger challenges for ourselves down the road. It’s just like ignoring the sniffle that eventually turns into a full-blown sinus infection because you didn’t give yourself the necessary rest, hydration and vitamin intake. Make it somewhat easier on yourself by dealing with it now and knowing that this will be your best bet for long-term healing.You’re not in the relationship anymore, but you don’t have to get over it right away. If you push yourself too hard to get over your ex, you might do more harm than good. Everything takes time to heal, and bad relationships are no different.Take time to go to bed early and sleep in late, or stay in on a Saturday night eating ice cream.This is the most important tip of all. Your relationship may have ended, but you’re not a failure because of that. Everyone has stories of failed relationships, and everyone gets past them. Just remember that you’re an amazing, interesting person. One relationship might not have worked out, but there are many other people out there just waiting to meet you. Get excited by the possibilities!Breakups are a form of grieving, so give yourself the time, space and care you need. Part of that means surrounding yourself with supportive people. Talk with sturdy friends and family about the feelings, doubts and worries. Soon, hashing details over and over again doesn’t feel helpful, so utilize others to reflect and reaffirm your abilities to move.Like anything else, resilience takes practice and patience. In the meantime, take care of yourself, give yourself room to grieve and process your emotions and take this as an opportunity for a fresh start.Guilt is like time payments, you can keep suffering forever. Instead, do the grieving you need to do, figure out how you helped create the problems (or stayed around for them) and decide to change what didn’t work before. Grieve all you need, but don’t exaggerate your feelings.After you deal with the initial upset, review the dynamics of the relationship and analyze what went wrong, what you could have done differently and what you learned. There’s no need to give yourself a hard time about it, just process the information, so you don’t repeat mistakes.It’s easy to blame your ex for everything, but if you do this, you’ll eventually turn that blame to yourself. So rather than issuing blame, try finding more neutral things to say, like, “we saw things differently,” or “we had some good years, then things changed,” . And if your ex left you for someone else, don’t blame that person, either.This is easier said than done if you lived together, but try, as much as possible, to put away or get rid of your ex’s stuff or items that remind you of them. You don’t need to throw anything away just yet, but get a plastic tub and put in it everything that your ex gave you and all of your pictures of you both.Enter a new headspace by exploring a new location. It doesn't need to be a lavish, Eat, Pray, Love-style solo trip, either: Start by switching up your route home, or check out a restaurant the two of you never went to.Trips with friends are fun, but traveling solo to a place you’ve never been before. When you are in a new place, your brain is forced to put on hold all of the emotions and feelings you have about your break-up because it needs to take in new information about your surroundings. Your brain has to figure out how you’re going to get to where you’re going and where you will eat and sleep once you get there. It also won’t conjure up any ‘nostalgia’ as you have never been there before and nothing will remind you of your ex.Nothing takes your mind off problems more than working out. (Even if it is because you spend every step of your run chanting, “I hate exercise, I hate exercise.”) Go for a run when you get home from work each afternoon. Join a gym and hit it up each morning before work. As an added bonus, if you join a gym, you’re going to get your body into shape, while increasing your chances of meeting someone new (when you’re ready)!Exercise helps your body get a shot of mood-lifting endorphins and serotonin (you can listen to that breakup playlist while you work out!). And if you've never had a fitness regimen before now, that's okay: A recent study suggests that starting today can still yield major benefits, including a lower risk of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and early death. Besides, it's difficult, if not impossible, to weep your way through an entire Zumba class.Rebound relationships hurt your chances of healing faster from the breakup. But this doesn’t mean that you have to stay single for years. Most people need a month or two to process the breakup, to mourn, and to integrate lessons before jumping back in if they were in a fairly serious relationship.However, not all people have the same needs. If your past relationship lasted for a year or more, you may need three to four months before being ready to date again. If your relationship was quite short, however, you might feel like reactivating your Tinder account sooner.We only have so much time and energy, so rather than wasting it on your ex, work towards rebuilding your life. Drama is not practical, it’s a negative fantasy. Focus on the practical things you need to do and think.Part of that involves getting your emotional, personal and financial life together as soon as you can. And consider it an opportunity, think about all the things you now have time to do, and do some of them. Try things you would never have done before, or things you’ve always wanted to do. Use the energy from your anger and grief, and channel them into doing things just for you..It’s definitely possible to learn how to get over a breakup fast. But you still need some time to mourn the loss of the relationship. Seek support from your friends and cut off all contact with your ex, unless you’re her coworker or co-parent.In no time, you’ll forget about the pain, and you’ll feel ready to meet a new, amazing woman who will be a much better match for you!