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HYDERABAD: Was it a growing sense of disconnect with the activities of student unions on campus, including that of the Ambedkar Students’ Association (ASA), that ultimately drove Rohith Vemula to suicide? Possibly yes, if the struck-off lines in the 26-year-old dalit student’s suicide note are closely analysed.The portion of the note that Vemula, perhaps on second thoughts, decided to keep concealed, reads: “ASA, SFI , anything and everything exist for their own sake. Seldom the interest of a person and these organisations match. To get power or to become famous or to be important in between boundaries and to think we are up to changing the system, very often we overestimate our acts and find solace in traits. Of course I must give my credit to these both groups for making introducing me to wonderful literature and people. (sic)”Many feel that the answer to Vemula’s inner conflict, which led him to take the extreme step, lies in these lines that he, in a side note, declared were struck off by himself. Observers see this part of the letter as being reflective of the sense of futility that the scholar felt in being associated with the student unions. He was an active member of the ASA.“Rohith was a brilliant student. He understood the politics unfolding in India very well and he also understood that if this climate continues, dalits may not have a chance to come up on par with others. When he decided to commit suicide, he thought that his death could convey a message to the entire nation about the environment being very suffocating,” said Prof Haragopal, a political scientist.“It was exceptional maturity on his part in not blaming anyone despite having so much anger within him. This is precisely the reason he struck off the part where he mentioned the student unions. He did not want the example of his death to go the wrong way,” Haragopal said.In the six-page suicide note, Vemula also talks about a “disconnect between his body and soul” and a feeling that “he is becoming a monster”. While these points baffled many, they feel that connecting them with the struck down parts completes the picture.“It is possible that he started doubting if any change was even possible,” said a research scholar on condition of anonymity.