Twenty five year old Brantford man, Matthew Beal, was reported early Sunday morning for trespassing, impersonating a Tim Horton’s employee and later, a church pastor. Having been previously employed by Tim Horton’s in 2015, he was seen around 6:00am in full uniform behind the store counter located at Dundas and West. “We thought he was a trainee but none of our staff recognized him.” Mr. Beal allegedly told everyone to “carry on” before pouring himself three “Take 12” boxes of coffee and leaving the premises. Shortly after, he was reported a second time by a member of a local church, the name of which shall remain undisclosed. It was said he took the stage and told members of the audience to send memes or “Hell shall await you.” He then continued by quoting verses from the Bible and making jokes. Mr. Beal was escorted off the property by police after trying to “bless” the remaining audience with free coffee. Charges pending.

– John Gregory, Journalist