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Maar Daala… boss! Dikhaa diya, na?

Ufffff… the Lok Sabha election results and the BJP’s sway. I am in full ‘Devdas’ mode… waiting for Madhuri Dixit to slide across the gleaming kotha floor, do that eyebrow twitching thingie and sing. “Maar daala”. I am, of course, playing Shah Rukh Khan – even though it’s indecently early to reach for that bottle and drown my sorrows in it. Bhaari depression happening. Yup. Hard to admit. Harder still to digest. Jaaney bhi do, yaaron – I am suffering. Sachhi! Aie Shappat. Rambo rules.

Narendra Modi has won. Modi. Not the BJP. Forget all the other bakwas. Ignore state-wise break up of seats and so on. The man is back in the game. And as that Payal Rohatgi bhakt/starlet advised: ‘Deal with it!’. Lady, believe me, I am trying to deal with it. Trying very, very hard. But what to do? Yeh dil maangey more!

Can’t just say, ‘Maaro goli…’ And move on, with my beady eyes fixed on the Sensex. That’s what business folks across India are doing as they hug their financial advisers and book profits. While here I am – a thwarted, dejected, snubbed entity, lamely talking about ‘respecting the will of the people of India’. Bullshit!

Also read: In the Rahul vs Modi battle, why Shobhaa De would choose duffer over demagogue

Andar se, I am hurt, upset and feeling foolish. Was I day dreaming for the past five years? Could it be a case of wishful thinking – no logic? How could I have got it so hopelessly wrong? I am not going to trot out the EVM conspiracy theory and make the Election Commission of India the villain of this election. Fact remains, Modi read the nation right. He was on the button. The rest were not. We got it wrong. There – I said it!

We can conduct hazaar post-mortems and over-analyse the results to death. What we cannot camouflage is the out and out Modi victory that idiots like me didn’t see coming. Or rather, we fervently hoped India would vote differently. I certainly did. Not because I wanted the Congress to form the next government – I am not Robert Vadra who sweetly posted: “With you all the way” ‘R’ AND ‘P’.

But I was hoping for balance. A course correction. A strong counter narrative. I was uncomfortable as hell with the hatred that was dividing the nation and leading to unacceptable, unimaginable strife. None of Narendra Modi’s boasts, his strutting and posturing, made any sense to me. Clearly, all of it made perfect sense to the electorate that wants him back. So be it.

What happens next to people like myself, will be interesting to monitor. Mind you, there are thousands like me out there. I know, I know… we don’t count. That’s fine. But at least we can look ourselves in the eye and walk tall, knowing we consciously took an unpopular position for five years, which came with hazards galore. Nothing will change that. I won’t start singing a different tune because I happen to be a part of a rapidly shrinking minority. I will still call NaMo out when I need to. I will continue to speak my mind. Because if these elections proved one thing incontrovertibly, it’s that India remains a vibrant democracy – the people of this great country have chosen their leader. Fine. Equally, in this very same democratic space, there has to be room for people like me. Baat Khatam.

Also read: 2019 will be known as the “Aayega To Modi Hi” election

Oh… but right at this tumultuous minute, I am definitely looking at options to calm my troubled soul. Kedarnath beckons. I hear it has a gorgeous, new meditation cave with modern amenities. I will be packing a few essentials just to be on the safe side. So, I am taking a red carpet and a gold brocade train – you never know when a TV crew shows up unexpectedly! Come on – photo-ops are photo-ops. These days, they win elections! Now… where’s that bottle of Old Monk, aged for five years, when I need it the most??

The author is a columnist, social commentator, journalist and opinion-shaper. She has written 20 books.

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