Unless you live under a rock you know that a hurricane, Issac, has been wreaking havoc along the Gulf Coast in the past 24 hours or so, causing the Republicans to cancel the first day of their convention in Florida. The storm is now hovering over the homeland of yours truly, inspiring mild fits of anxiety here and there, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to be too bad.

With that out of the way, look for bumbling old hate machine Pat Robertson to come out in the coming days and claim that the reason Hurricane Issac hit New Orleans directly instead of Tampa is because New Orleans is immoral pit of vice filled with gay sex, among other things. How does gay sex cause storms, meteorologically, you ask? Stephen Colbert is here to explain.