I grew up in a world where social media remained purely social. Like everyone else on Myspace, Tom was my first “friend” and Xanga was the leading social blogging platform (at least among Asians). During high school, the closest thing to a “news feed” was cafeteria gossip, shitty “whisper-down-the-lane,” and our fancy Razr flip phones. Today’s feed is a loud social megaphone offering us a buffet of information and entertainment, all conveniently available on the front page of Facebook: social news, world news, Vines, I Fucking Love Science, foodporn, George Takei, and, of course, cats.

About a year and a half ago I got my first cat, Louis the Pious. Louis was remarkably clumsy for a cat. He always had a flea, sported unusually large ears, and had a shape that more resembled that of a kangaroo than that of a kitten. His awkwardness inspired me to create his alter ego: an offensive and abrasive online cat who gave zero shits about you or anyone else’s opinion. I gave him a Facebook profile and had him comment offensively on cat-related topics.

About three months later, at the height of the profile’s activity, Louis had over a thousand followers in the New Orleans area and had been banned from five or so pages. I’d throw house parties and friends of friends would see Louis and say “Oh my god, I’m friends with that cat on Facebook!” Sadly, six months later my roommate let him out of the house accidentally, and he was never seen again. Despite days of looking and waiting, Louis the Pious never came back.