For my next trick, I will blatantly rip off Lifehacker’s How I Work series.

Remember those questionnaires that used to make the rounds on AOL back in the ’90s? Well, I used to fill out pretty much every one of them that showed up in my inbox, because I apparently had (have?) this compulsive need to share the most inane details of my life with the Internet at large. (I’m a righty, by the way. My favorite food is peanut butter and my favorite color is navy blue.) Since I’m an adult now (allegedly), and nobody pretends to give a damn about me other than to ask me how I’m sleeping, or to remark, “boy, you’ve really got your hands full there,” I’m taking it upon myself to share all the juicy details of my day-to-day existence. It’s called being proactive, and it’s what responsible people do.

How I Work is usually reserved for CEOs and entrepreneurs and innovators — you know, interesting people — and I am none of those things. However, I do somehow manage to work from home with 5-month-old twins and a 5-year-old, and frankly, I think that’s more impressive than inventing a billion-dollar app or being Mike Rowe.

Location: Long Island, New York

Current gig: Stay-at-home dad, wiper of butts, doer of laundry, shopper of groceries. Also, freelance copy editor, proofreader and writer. Occasional blogger.

One word that best describes how you work: Sporadically

Current mobile device: Samsung Galaxy S6 edge Moto X Pure Edition

Current computer: Toshiba Chromebook 2

What apps, software, or tools can’t you live without?

reddit is fun: How else are you supposed to fill the three minutes after one twin finishes her bottle and before the other one spits up all over himself?

A mini screwdriver set: For unlocking the nearly impenetrable battery compartments on my kids’ most irritating toys. Goddamn Hess trucks.

BumGenius Cloth Diapers: I’m not gonna lie — changing cloth diapers is pretty gross. They’re not cheap either, but they save us about $150 a month by my estimation (12-18 disposable diapers per day = 360-558 per month = at least three 162-count cartons per month at $50 apiece), so they’re well worth the up-front cost. If you have a washer and dryer, just buy cloth diapers … and wash your hands frequently.

A Costco membership: We go through a 40-ounce container of Kirkland baby formula in 4.85 days.

Paper towels: Buy them at Costco and keep a roll in every room of the house. There will be spit-up.

What’s your workspace setup like? Coffee shop with laptop and headphones? Home office with a standing desk?

From 9-11 a.m., or whenever the babies wake up from their morning naps, I sit on a Raymour and Flanagan loveseat with my feet up and edit news articles. After that, it’s a microfiber sectional flanked by the aforementioned babies and/or prekindergartner, working whenever they doze off/are distracted by Peppa Pig. Eventually I’ll start using the new basement office we built last summer and let the kids fend for themselves. It’s important that they learn self-reliance.

What’s your best time-saving shortcut or life hack?

Making individual bottles is for suckers. Dr. Brown’s Formula Mixing Pitcher is a life-saver. Now we make four bottles at a time, twice a day. Also, you can never have too many laundry baskets.

What’s your favorite to-do list manager?

None of them have everything I want, but I use a combination of Wunderlist, Google Keep and Google Now reminders. Also, my son reminds me of everything that he requires in life every 90 seconds or so.

Besides your phone and computer, what gadget can’t you live without and why?

Does alcohol count as a gadget? Kidding. I only drink once my wife gets home from work, or within 15 minutes before then. Um … the washing machine gets a shocking amount of use. Also, my Fitbit Charge HR tells me how many times I can run up and down the stairs in the course of (what is supposed to be) one afternoon nap.

What everyday thing are you better at than everyone else?

Giving the impression that I’m cool, calm and collected. People at work always used to think that about me, and I never understood why. I mean, didn’t they hear all the swearing, or was that just in my head?

What do you listen to while you work? Got a favorite playlist? Maybe talk radio? Or do you prefer silence?

Sometimes I go with Spotify. I just got into the Discover Weekly playlist, which is a pretty good mix of artists I’ve never heard and others that I know only casually, but mostly in line with my tastes. Other times I go with podcasts — Pocket Casts is my go-to app.

What are you currently reading? A novel, comic book, website, magazine?

by Marcus Brotherton, and listening to the Audible version of by Bill Bryson. I do all of my reading in the 10 minutes between getting into bed and falling asleep, or by listening to audiobooks for 5-10 minutes on the way to or from my son’s school. It takes me a long time to get through a book. Reading We Who Are Alive and Remain The Mother Tongue: English and How It Got That Way by Bill Bryson. I do all of my reading in the 10 minutes between getting into bed and falling asleep, or by listening to audiobooks for 5-10 minutes on the way to or from my son’s school. It takes me a long time to get through a book.

How do you recharge?

Thirty minutes on the treadmill three days per week. I used to hate it, but now I really look forward to it. I don’t care how cold it is in the garage; it has Wi-Fi and no kids.

What’s your sleep routine like? Are you a night owl or early-riser?

I go to bed an hour after I plan to because I’m too lazy to get off the couch and start the bedtime procedure. Most likely, I’m changing a diaper around 3:30 a.m. Then I wake up 45 minutes later than I want to because my bed is too damn cozy. On a good day, though, I get out to the garage by 6:30 to run on the treadmill. My dream scenario is to sleep from 10:30 to 5:30, but I haven’t figured it out yet. Also, I love how waking up at 5:30 a.m. qualifies as a dream scenario at this point in my life.

Fill in the blank: I’d love to see _________ answer these same questions.

Other work-at-home parents. Please copy/paste this questionnaire, fill in your own answers and forward to 10 friends or you’ll have bad luck.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

Letting the kids watch TV for an hour or three isn’t gonna kill them. Sometimes it’s the only way to stay sane.

Is there anything else you’d like to add that might be interesting to readers and fans?

Assuming I have any readers or fans — I once met New York Islanders legend and Hockey Hall of Famer Billy Smith in the Jacuzzi at the Tampa Marriott. It was weird.