I DO NOT OWN STAR VS. THE FORCES OF EVIL

Hey, so I'm aware I posted a version of this already, however I decided to change some things up that would majorly affect the plot, so I'm deciding to re-upload it. Firstly, I realized that I'm pretty much doomed to writing first person POV for life. Secondly, I wanted a little more exposition. Anyways, I'm thinking I'll have this story switch between Marco and Star's point of view.

A Monster Ruins My Frozen Yogurt

Look, I'm a pretty reasonable guy.

I'm not very optimistic, and I don't ask for much. In my short sixteen years, I've come to learn that life kicks you in the shins a whole lot less once you stop expecting things from it.

Still, I had the occasional nerve to hope for things every now and again.

And on the day Star was kidnapped, I had just two goals: 1.) to have my two-year anniversary with Jackie Lynn Thomas go without a hitch, and 2.) to make sure that for once in my life, Star would stay out of it. Of course, wish one was utterly dashed by twelve o'clock.

Wish two- now that's the one that haunts me.

Still, despite my shortcomings, I was actually having a pretty good morning before my best friend was kidnapped by a demonic monster hell-bent on ruling the multiverse.

Star and I sat on the outside deck of a small frozen yogurt place. It was a warm day on the brink of summer vacation, and Star's eyes were glowing like my laptop's LED display in the sun.

"So- date with Jackie," Star hummed, using her fingers to channel magic through her spoon.

"Right," I said. "Jackie. Date. Tonight. Oh my god." I buried my head into my hands and laughed nervously.

A laugh bubbled from Star's lips, and she gestured for her spoon. It scooped up a bite of Raspberry Pomegranate Swirl, and floated across the small circular table. "Here, Marco, taste this."

Star's magical abilities had grown exponentially in the past few years, and she was taking every opportunity to make the most out of them. But while it was an undoubtedly helpful asset when trying to grab a remote that had fallen just out of reach, her wand-less magic was virtually useless beyond the basic levitation spell.

Still, I was proud of her- she'd really worked to extend her magical powers. Even Glossaryck had demonstrated some reverence towards her newfound strength.

I lifted my head and stared at the spoon hovering an inch from my face. I rolled my eyes and cracked a grin, opening my mouth. Star pushed the spoon past my lips and the cool treat hit my tongue.

My face scrunched up instantly.

"Wow, that's sweet," I winced.

Star laughed. "I figured you wouldn't like it."

"Why'd you make me taste it, then?"

"Because your face was hilarious," Star snickered. "Plus, you were freaking out about your date. I had to chill you out somehow."

The mention of my date with Jackie made my face go white again. Look, I like to think I'm a pretty good boyfriend. Taking Jackie out isn't exactly foreign to me. But things like anniversaries or school dances? They still made my stomach rev like an attention-starved drunkard on a Harley.

"I still have to find my sports jacket," I said.

"Yep, sure do," Star said. She then sat up on her knees and leaned over the table. She looked me dead in the eyes. "So, what's the plan?"

"I've already told you. Dinner, and then I'm going to surprise her with the Love Sentence tickets and-,"

"No, no, no. I'm talking about the plan," Star cut me off with an exasperated sigh. I must've looked pretty dumb, because she groaned with more conviction than a customer service agent. "You know? The plan? To get your parents out of the house for the night so you and Jackie can-,"

"I get it, Star! Talk any louder, will you? God, you spend too much time with Janna."

I sighed and let my hands fall from my face. Star grabbed my palm, offering it a squeeze of reassurance (possibly with a dash of apology as well).

"Look, do whatever you want, Star. Just no magic, okay?"

"You worry too much, Marco. I'm not a kid anymore. I can control my-,"

"No magic," I insisted. "You have to promise me."

"Fine," Star huffed.

"Thank you, Star. It means a lot."

I locked eyes with her. She managed to smile a little through her obvious disappointment.

Now don't get me wrong- being best buddies with a magical princess definitely has its perks (one of which is never having a dull moment like, ever), but it was also the primary source of all the unnecessary stress in my life. The constant threat of inter-dimensional demons trying to kill you wasn't really the kind of thing teenagers my age were supposed to be dealing with.

I guess that's why I liked being around Jackie so much. She was easy. I didn't have to worry about getting myself into trouble around her.

And sometimes when I'd been knee-deep in magic for too long, it was kind of nice to sit on the couch with a regular girl and watch a stupidly forgettable movie to remind myself that the normal world still existed.

Star was quiet for a long time. I should've known something was wrong, because a quiet Star was like the quiet scene in a horror movie: unsettling, unnatural, and ultimately foreboding.

"Star?" I asked finally. "Is something up?"

Star shook out of her stupor, though she didn't yet look quite present. "Sorry," she murmured. "No, I'm fine."

I stayed quiet, because in Star's subconscious language, "Fine" translated roughly to "I have exactly seven-and-three-quarters worth of issues with the situation at hand and I'm currently trying to figure out which one I should tell you first".

As predicted, Star spoke up within the next minute. "I was just wondering something."

"Fire away," I offered.

"It's stupid."

"Ask anyways."

"You're not going to like it."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do."

"How could you possibly know?"

"Damn you, Marco. Fine. I just- I just wanted to know if you really loved Jackie, okay?"

I froze. Star had never asked me that kind of question before, and frankly- I should've felt like more of a jackass for not knowing how to respond at first.

Silence took me for a long time, and I was starting to sweat a little, because while my stunned brain was drawing a starting-pistol's worth of blanks, Star was starting to look almost hopeful.

"Wow. Uh, you were right. I don't like that question. Look, I care for her a lot, Star," I said finally. Cringing at my own weak response, I tacked on a sloppy, "So yes, I do really love her." Of course I was being honest, but at the same time, I was also pretty desperate to kill that stupid, adorable sparkle in her ocean-blue eyes.

Star looked like she was going to say something else, but the sound of a roaring monster shut her up before she even got the first word out.

Living with Star for so long had trained me to be pretty much ready for anything. Random ambushes by huge mutant creatures were always a frequency in our lives. Turns out an all-powerful magical wand kind of paints a big target on someone's back.

I leapt up, my muscles bunching in readiness as a small horde of grotesque monsters emerged from the horizon.

"Marco-,"

"We'll talk about this later," I said sternly, my eyes never leaving the apparent threat before me.

The seconds before a fight were always the tensest. It was like the brief moment of silence between pulling the pin on a grenade and waiting for it to explode. But as soon as the first muscle twitched, we all jumped into the fray without reservation.

I landed a few sharp blows against the closest beast- a bat-like monster with bright yellow eyes and leathery gray skin. He swiped back at me with his claws, but I managed to roll out of the way before he could graze me.

Despite being Echo Creek's notorious "safe kid", I'd been taking karate lessons since I was a kid, and fighting came as no stranger to me.

This, coupled with my two-year's worth of experience in active combat, made me a pretty worthy opponent; even when faced up with monsters straight out of horror flicks that could make Stephen King cry for his mommy.

Star fired a hot-pink Makeup Blast right into the mouth of the bat monster, and sent it spiraling. I always found her impossibly cute when she was in the heat of battle. With her wide grin and warlike-grace, she looked like some kind of special edition "Rebel Princess" Barbie doll. She was an odd mix of cute and terrifying, like a Hello Kitty chainsaw.

I sidestepped just in time to dodge a pair of razor-sharp claws aimed right for my neck

The small band of monsters got out of hand fast. One creature with a small bouquet's worth of eyes was knocking over tables and chairs, sending cups of half-melted frozen yogurt flying. Another beast with twin snake heads was ramming itself into the oncoming traffic.

"Star, we've gotta get out of here," I said. "There are too many people around."

I blocked a monster's swing, and then decked him back twice as hard.

Star glanced around, and then seemed to understand where I was coming from. "There's an alleyway a block down," she offered.

That was good enough for me.

Star and I slipped from the eye of the fight and sprinted down the road. The monsters weren't duped for long, and followed suit. Thankfully, we were faster than them.

We dove into the alley, sprinting until our noses were touching the brick wall at the very back.

"Ludo just doesn't quit, does he?" I asked, tensing as the small gang of beasts began to close in.

"These don't look like Ludo's," Star frowned.

It only took one closer look for me to realize she was right.

The two-headed snake monster suddenly lurched forward, jaws open. I ducked just barely, and sent my fist into one of its necks. The other head swung around and caught me on the side, sending my body into the wall. I groaned, my side screaming in pain. Shielding the naked slashes just under my ribs with trembling hands, I stumbled to my feet.

My breath left me as another monster pinned me to the cold wall.

"S-star! Covering me would be, like, awesome right about now!" I choked out, pounding at the massive beast's arm helplessly.

Star was doing a bar routine using the horns of a Minotaur, swinging through them effortlessly before ramming the poor beast into a brick wall. "Coming!" she sang, using her wand's magic to send her into a flying back-flip. She shot a blast of Narwhals halfway through her vault, hitting the monster about to castrate me dead-on.

Star landed with all the grace of a drunken gymnast. She ran over to me. She grabbed my hand and helped me up. I wobbled as I stood, my clammy hands squeezing hers to keep myself grounded.

"It got me," I hissed, turning away to protect my scratches.

"Stay back, then," Star ordered.

She grinned manically as she summoned a stampede of Warnicorns from her wand. Trapped within the walls of the alley, the monsters had nowhere to run as the brutal animals made quick work of them. I don't have much sympathy for things that try to kill me, but even I had to wince as monsters were skewered upon Warnicorn horns like grotesque shish-kebobs.

"How's that for efficient?" Star gloated.

I shoved her out of a flying Morningstar's range. "Watch out!"

I leaped over the spiked payload, sending my fist careening into the monster wielding it. The beast yelled in pain. A new rush filled me, and with a well-placed kick, I had disarmed the monster. I threw my elbow into its chin, laughing as it collapsed.

I didn't have much time to celebrate. A wave of lightheadedness caught up to me like a bad hangover, and I fell to one knee as dizziness overtook my body. I pressed my fingers into my side, soaking them in a sticky glob of blood.

I was never too religious, but at that moment, I would've sold my faith to whatever God could keep my adrenaline rush going for just a few more minutes.

Instinct flattened me to the asphalt just as a war-axe hurled past me.

There were only two monsters left.

Star fired a Rainbow Death Punch from her wand. A multicolored fist rocketed forth, slamming into the nearest monster and sending it flying into the street. If to add insult to injury, a few cars even drove over the beast as if it were nothing more than the horrific love-child of road kill and a speed-bump.

The second monster caught Star by surprise. It swung a heavy claw into her shoulder. She hissed, stumbling back.

I caught her in my arms, turning her into my body to shield her from the creature. It was beginning to windmill its arms, and I had a feeling that I was about to feel like an old credit card going through a shredder.

"Marco, what are you doing? Let me go!" Star snapped, wriggling out of my arms. She knocked me back with her elbow, and summoned a light bazooka. She hit the monster point-blank with a beam of light, and blew the imaginary smoke from the barrel.

And then, there was silence.

We both crashed, falling to our asses in exhaustion. We laughed weakly, because that's just something you do after you almost die.

Star carefully pulled off my jacket, using her magic to mend my torn flesh. Thankfully, she'd taken some extra time learning healing spells. I'd had far too many limbs turn into "freaks of nature" for one lifetime.

My side felt painfully hot for a moment, but the discomfort was soon replaced by a soothing warmness.

"Okay," Star said. "You're good now."

"Thanks," I laughed airily. "Who were those guys?"

"I don't know," Star frowned. "But I don't think they were after the wand."

"What makes you say that?"

"I'm… not sure. Intuition?"

"That's a pretty big word for you, Star. I'm proud," I said, a shit-eating grin plastered on my face.

She punched me, "Shut it, Diaz." It was quiet for a moment. A frown spread across Star's face, "So what was that all about anyways?"

"Well, if they weren't after the wand-,"

"No, not the monsters. You. You tried to shield me and almost got us both killed. Why would you do something so stupid?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I was trying to protect you, I guess. You reeled back pretty bad."

"I was fine," Star insisted.

Anger flared up in me. I clenched my jaw "I didn't know, okay? I thought you were hurt. I was just-,"

"I don't need to be protected, Marco," Star snapped.

Look, I know I'm a little overly-cautious, but was it really so wrong to care? I'd stopped keeping count, but I knew that Star had saved me more times than my life was probably even worth. And I was always thankful every single time. I'm not saying she owed me anything, but the occasional expression of appreciation wouldn't hurt.

Sure, I hadn't saved her. But I had been prepared to be brutally maimed for her sake. That had to count for something.

I didn't want to fight, though. I was already exhausted. "What's wrong with you? We were fine just a minute ago. What made you bring this up?"

"Nothing. I'm peachy."

"Star-,"

"I said I'm fine!"

Suddenly, the earth rumbled. I thought for a moment that Star's magic had ascended to a tectonic level. Thankfully, that wasn't the case. If it were, I would be in about seven-million pieces by now.

Unfortunately, what did happen was probably ten times worse.

The blades of a pair of dimensional scissors tore through the fabric of space, opening a huge portal. The monster walking through it made the hairs at the back of my neck stick up.

He had a lion's head, with a blood-red mane that encircled his face like some kind of twisted halo. A pair of leathery bat wings extended from his back. A scorpion's tail the size of a small sedan swung back and forth menacingly. His black armored chest plate seemed to suck in the sun rather than reflect it.

He walked on two legs, and approached us with the gait of someone important. He circled Star like a shark (as if I needed another reason to hate sharks).

"Star Butterfly," he hummed, the words dripping like honey from his gravelly voice. "This is new. I've never had to visit a princess in person before."

"Who are you?" Star asked, standing up. She raised her wand warily. "You're the one who sent the monsters, aren't you?"

"They call me Vicero Bolivar. Victor is fine," he said, beaming with pride. "And yes, I did. I apologize for any damages. My men are typically much… cleaner in their negotiations."

Victor approached Star with a strange brand of reserved respect in his step. He kneeled down, dipping his head. He held out his hand for her.

THWACK.

I winced as Victor rubbed the red spot where he'd just been clocked. Star held her wand like a baseball bat, and reeled back to swing again.

"No," she said firmly. "No, no, no, no, no. You stay back."

Victor heeded her, scooting a fair distance away. He smiled again, though this one was far less practiced than the last. "You've got quite a swing, princess," he remarked.

I didn't like the look in his eyes. He was staring at Star like children look at the cheap prizes on display in rigged carnival game booths.

"What do you want with us?" I asked, my voice edging on a snarl.

"Nothing from you, human. That I assure," Victor laughed.

"That's not what I-,"

"Yes, yes, well- I'll be asking your highness to come with me now," Victor interjected.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Star said lowly. "What do you want from me?"

"Fairly simple," Victor smiled. "I want your hand."

It admittedly took me a few seconds to realize that Victor was asking for Star's hand in marriage, and not for some weird severed-limb fetish.

"She's not marrying you," I said as soon as I broke out of my stupor. "She's only sixteen-,"

"-Which is the traditional age for Mewman courting rituals," Victor cut in.

"I'm still not marrying you," Star said bluntly. "Of age or not- I'd have to be crazy, blind, or optimally both before I ever let you have me. Plus, I don't just live by Mewnian law anymore. I live by Earth, too. And on Earth, getting married at sixteen is kind of frowned upon." Star blushed. "At least on this part of Earth it's frowned upon."

"Sweet princess," Victor laughed. "You're a funny one."

"What are you-,"

"I suggest surrendering yourself to me now. Because if not, I will be taking you by force. Painful, relentless, force." Victor's tail cracked against the ground. His wings extended. His smile widened.

"Gee," I hummed, mocking deep thought. "Force sounds awful tempting, doesn't it?"

"Painful and relentless. A real bargain," she agreed.

"Perfect. By force it is, then!" I shouted, "Star!"

Star nodded, holding her hands out cheerleader-style and bracing herself. I rushed forward, jumping and using her palms as a springboard as I sent myself soaring into the air.

"Stardust Daisy Devastation!"

Victor exploded in a bomb of yellow and dandelions. I closed my eyes and let my will lead my foot right into the center of the fray, crashing into Victor's chest like a meteor. Unfortunately, meteors were apparently no match for decent armor. I bounced off Victor like a rubber ball, twisting in the air to keep my feet on the ground.

Victor stumbled back, an amused smile on his face.

I lunged forward as soon as I caught even footing, my fist meeting Victor's chin. Victor hissed, his tail sweeping under my legs. I tripped backwards, my ass hitting the concrete. I tried to get up, but Victor aimed the stinger of his tail at my throat.

"I'd be careful if I were you," he crooned. "The stinger is lethal."

"Thanks for the heads up," I growled, jumping over the tail as if I were playing some terrifying game of jump-rope.

Star blasted Victor with her insanely huge arsenal of magic blasts and spells.

"Narwhal Blast!"

"Radical Rainbow Blast!"

"Raspberry Panzerfaust!"

The last one finally knocked Victor down to his knees. He laughed with the staccato explosiveness of a Gatling-gun and picked himself back up.

"You're charming yourself," Star's eyes narrowed. "You can't be this strong."

"Correct, your highness," Victor smiled. "As you can clearly see, I'm impervious to your magic. So blast me! I dare you. However, we really should wrap this up soon. I've got a two o'clock show to make."

"Star, get back," I warned, pushing myself right into the blast zone between her and Victor.

"Marco, I can fight without my wand," she snapped.

Victor laughed and sprung forward. He caught my shoulder, but I went slack just in time to avoid dislocation. I swept my leg low to catch Victor's ankles, but he was ready for me. He slammed his tail into my side, sending me reeling.

Victor leapt into the air, extending his wings and sailing right into Star. He pressed her back until her shoulders touched the brick wall behind her. A huge paw caught her neck, and claws goaded cherry blood from her flesh.

"Star!" I yelled. I scrambled to my feet, but Victor's tail stopped me in my tracks. The venomous tip hovered just a shy inch from my Adam's apple. He turned his attention back to Star.

"Star Butterfly. You are… aggravating," Victor sneered.

As if to prove him right, Star spat right in his eye.

"That's not really in your best interest," Victor snarled. He picked her up by her throat. She couldn't move.

"Marco," Star choked, slamming her eyes shut. Something glinted in the corner of my eye.

I knew I needed to do something, but there was no way to save her. I was stuck. Victor's stinger waved menacingly in front of me like a toxic soccer goalie.

"Come now," Victor said. "We haven't time to waste.

Victor slipped some glowing green shackles from a pocket at his waist. He slapped them on Star's wrist as if he were a cop detaining some underage punk for a misdemeanor. His tail left my company as he slashed another dimensional portal and stepped through it.

"Star!"

I rushed forward as fast as my legs would take me. My eyes caught Star's one last time. Those brilliant blue things- I'd looked into them a thousand times before, but in that moment, the only time that ever mattered was that single fleeting second.

And when the portal closed far too soon, my body finally gave in, and I sobbed.