I Like Trump Paying Porn Stars for Threesomes, Declares Loyalist

Jan 13, 2018

Frankie Villoso, a Donald Trump loyalist, was not bothered by news today that The Donald paid adult porn star actress, Stormy Daniels, $130,000 to keep quiet in a sexual affair he had while married to Melania. The news surfaced through another porn star, Alana Evans, who claimed the two invited her over for a threesome.

“First of all I’ve heard dozens and dozens of stories just like this before, and it’s all fake news,” said Mr. Villoso, who has recently opened an Ashley Madison account. “Second of all, Trump and Stormy both denied it. Third of all, it sounds awesome.”

Mr Villoso was also not bothered by the international outburst rebuking Trump’s racist statement that all African nations, Haiti, and El Salvador are “shitholes.”

“Look he didn’t mean it the way you are thinking. But most countries outside of the US are shitholes, don’t you think? That's why I don't plan on getting a passport sometime soon. There's a jihad out there! Your head is in the sand.”

Mr. Villoso was then asked if Trump could do anything to make him stop supporting his president.

Mr. Villoso replied, “I don’t mind sex or porn stars or drugs. I don’t mind whipping around nuclear codes like a Nerf gun. I don’t mind all his money. I mean, I want those things too. And I don’t mind that he eats unhealthy. I don't mind that he watches an absurd amount of TV and doesn't read. I really like that he trolls people on the Internet. It makes him fun. Drain the swamp! I don’t even mind if he lies to all of you fools who just don’t understand him like I do. But yes, what I do mind… I mind those damn liberals threatening my way of life. Those libtards don’t know the first thing about real values. Make America Great again.”

And so the cultural wars continue.