The wind has picked up on this Friday afternoon. Spring’s arrival is maybe not so imminent as we thought. Bitter cold is on its way.

Sounds like a perfect situation for us to warm up with some goddamn hot fire tweets, and here comes Kevin Pillar to the rescue!

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First, though, meet Bill. He’s, according to his Twitter bio, the editor of the sports section of the Cambridge Times — as in Cambridge, Ontario, outside of Kitchener-Waterloo. He is also, according to the giant picture of Red Sox championship rings he uses as his background photo, a Red Sox fan.

Hey, man. Whatever. That’s cool. You be you.

What Bill is certainly not is a Kevin Pillar fan. Or maybe he likes Kevin just fine, in the overall, but there is one aspect of Pillar’s game that Bill definitely doesn’t like: his dives. And he’s not afraid to say it, either!

Let’s watch what happens…

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Canada's Dalton Pompey tested the metric with a diving grab in #WBC2017 play. Just how impressive was it? https://t.co/ZCVOO2dC0u #Statcast pic.twitter.com/sBifjNY1yx — #Statcast (@statcast) March 10, 2017

I don't understand. Was that 86% of center fielders make that catch? or 86% don't? https://t.co/EEbUTyJU0a — Blue Jays from Away (@JaysFromAway) March 10, 2017

Half of Pillar's dives are unwarranted — Bill Doucet (@Bill_Doucet) March 10, 2017

Fascinating statistic. Please show me the source. https://t.co/mkTbL6R5Ze — John Lott (@LottOnBaseball) March 10, 2017

visual — Bill Doucet (@Bill_Doucet) March 10, 2017

Ah cool, that checks out. Carry on. — Tyler Campbell (@tyleracampbell) March 10, 2017

see. Verified — Bill Doucet (@Bill_Doucet) March 10, 2017

Note: Bill sometimes doesn’t get sarcasm. Perhaps I should have mentioned that earlier.

So you “see" Pillar unnecessarily & deliberately beating up his body and risking hurting his team on 50% of his dives? Quite the insight. https://t.co/wjfCFKzUPy — John Lott (@LottOnBaseball) March 10, 2017

I'm sure in his mind he thinks he needs to, but he has speed and seems to get a good jump on the ball. — Bill Doucet (@Bill_Doucet) March 10, 2017

Aaaaand the payoff…

I'm sure bill was a really good outfielder in his day ? https://t.co/b5aDDluEZx — Kevin Pillar (@KPILLAR4) March 10, 2017

ZANG! SNORT! OOF! KA-BLAMMO! Roasted!

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Hey, so I guess this one was one of the other 50%, eh Bill?

Let’s maybe leave the Zaun-esque takes where they belong: at Hemingways.





