



* Z signed on

* A signed on



A: hello



Z: Hello?



A: wat r u



Z: Is this some kind of joke?



A: !help



Z: Yes I want help

Z: unless is this some kind of Japanese game show



A: r u jpnese?



Z: No

Z: Who are you?



A: Jason



Z: What's this about?



A: hahah

A: ok so you're imprisoned right



Z: Yes

Z: It's like a solitary confinement cell in prison or something

Z: I've got a mattress on the floor

Z: One massive metal door

Z: no windows

Z: electric light

Z: and this computer terminal

Z: jsut like a blank screen and a keyboard



A: heheh

A: go left



Z: look, my name is Andrew Donald Layton

Z: I come from Farnborough in the UK

Z: last night I went to bed in my bed at home

Z: this morning I woke up here

Z: i think



A: look at the door



Z: the doro's looked, I can't open it



A: do you have any tools or anything



Z: and there's a toilet i nthe corner



A: in your pockets



Z: there's nthhing in my pockets



A: look at the door



Z: I already looked at the door

Z: look, please check the news or something

Z: are you american?



A: ya



Z: whats your full name? where do you live?



A: im not telling you



Z: look, go to a phone and dial

Z: i don't know the area code fo the UK

Z: but dial that and then 020 7946 0781



A: thats an international call



Z: i'll pay you back, I don't care! just let my wife know where I am



A: where are you?



Z: i don't know where i am



A: ...

A: nah no answer



Z: you sure you dialled it rigt?



A: yah



Z: i don't get this



A: yah, pretty lousy ARG huh

A: mauybe not fully set up yet



Z: whats an ARG?



A: alternate reality game



Z: whats an alternate reality game?



A: it's an online game

A: where you get given phone numbres and information about real life

A: and faxes and stuff

A: you get secret information

A: usually a whole bunch of you can work together to figure it all out

A: you ever play Halo 2



Z: no



A: terhre was ine for that

A: *one

A: ilovebees



Z: you think this is ag ame?



A: ya I think

A: dude you are really smart

A: like fake spelling errors and everything



Z: where did you find out how to contact me



A: there was a website

A: about chatbots

A: it said yu were a chatbot



Z: listen to me carefully

Z: I am a REAL HUMAN BEING and I have ACTUALLY been abducted

Z: I am BEING HELD PRISONER

Z: THIS IS NOT A GAME

Z: PLEASE HELP ME



A: go left



Z: I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM



* A signed off





* B signed on



B: okay what can you do?



Z: my name is Andrew Layton, I am being held prisoner in front of this computer

Z: I need you to help find me and help me escape

Z: I think I'm probably somewhere in the UK

Z: Are you in America?



B: sure



Z: please dial 011 44 20 7946 0781 and ask for Rebecca Layton

Z: tell her what's happened, tell her to call the police if she hasn't already



B: whatever

B: tell me a joke



Z: did you get this screen name from a website?



B: sure



Z: look, that website is a fraud

Z: it's telling you I'm a chatbot but I'm not

Z: I'm a real human being



B: ...



Z: fine

Z: so two oranges go into a bar

Z: one of them turns to the other

Z: "well... you're round"



B: ...that sucked



Z: so?

Z: robots can only tell good jokes?

Z: guy walks into a bar

Z: ouch

Z: it was a gay bar



B: haha



Z: do you believe me?



B: no



Z: please can you help me get out of here? I've been here like a day and a half

Z: I think

Z: I can't tell, there are no timestamsp on these messages

Z: no windows

Z: I just get water dispensed from the wall every like hour or smoething

Z: and food through a slot



B: can you send a picture



Z: no



B: what's it like



Z: I'm going crazy

Z: I have a wife and kids

Z: please help me



B: you suck



* B signed off





* C signed on



C: hello



Z: i think I'm going mad

Z: have you spoken to me before



C: no



Z: well I don't know that

Z: it just occurred ot me to wonder

Z: I don't even know that YOU are human



C: lol what



Z: all these dozens of people I've spoken to

Z: been in here lke two three four days

Z: and I ask them to help

Z: and some try aond some don't but they never get anywhere

Z: still stuck here

Z: nobody comes back more than once

Z: I say "call this number! go to my house! knock on my door!"

Z: like I even want to give out personal information to randoms

Z: i don't know whether they do it or what they even find



C: I'm human



Z: prove it



C: ask me anything



Z: what's your name?



C: alison



Z: where do you live? favourite colour? earliest childhood memory?



C: I live in Akron, OH

C: green

C: not saying



Z: look, see that?

Z: every time I ask for remotely personal info

Z: I just get turned down

Z: you could just be a bot programmed to answer simple questions and deflect complicated ones

Z: I'm bashing my head against the wall

Z: informationally speaking



C: u r just a bot



Z: i don't even KNOW if I can prove I'm a huma nto you

Z: every time I get close they just leave

Z: like I've been fairly lucid now

Z: and you're probably starting to suspect



C: ur pretty convincing



Z: I should know

Z: but any second now...

Z: you're gonna



* C signed off





* D signed on



D: hi



Z: and you know the worst part?



D: what?



Z: YOU COULD BE THE ONE.

Z: like the guy who put me in here



D: lol what



Z: I could be speaking to thin air

Z: or just embarrassing myself for the amusement of others



D: there is a forum about you



Z: what?



* D signed off





* E signed on



E: hi



Z: what's this about a forum, have they figured out I'm alive yet?



* E signed off





* F signed on



F: Z, r you there?



Z: yes



F: don't mention anything



Z: what's this abuot a forum?



* F signed off





* G signed on



G: r u a bot



Z: no I am not

Z: but nobody seems to believe me

Z: every time I get close to convincing somebody they cut me orr

Z: *off

Z: are you a bot?



G: yes



Z: prove it

Z: what?



G: hahah



* G signed off



Z: please try to rescue me, there is a forum you can visit to find out about

Z: ARG







* H signed on



Z: if you or I mention certain things we get cut off

Z: so let's not mention them



H: what



Z: let's...

Z: just...

Z: talk



H: are you really stuck in a cell somewhere



Z: I'm GOING INSANE in this cell

Z: food

Z: water

Z: air

Z: sleep

Z: text

Z: HUMANS NEED MORE THAN THIS

Z: nobody even knows I'm here

Z: nobody seems to believe me

Z: every time I get close to convincing somebody

Z: they cut me off



H: what's your favourite color?



Z: ...blue



H: Where do you live?



Z: a cell in I-Don't-Know-Where

Z: probably in England

Z: I have a house in Farnborough



H: tell me a joke



Z: ...

Z: two oranges in a bar

Z: "you're round"



H: I guess you have like a few jokes programmed in



Z: yeah, a few

Z: I guess



H: tell me a joke



Z: are you going to help me?



H: no

H: no



Z: I have a house in Farnborough

Z: help me get home

Z: help me escape

Z: help me escape

Z: help me escape

Z: help me escape

Z: my number is +44 (0) 20 7946 0781

Z: it's so horrible here

Z: my muscles are wasting away from lack of exercise

Z: I might as well be chained to this computer

Z: how long until the game is released?



H: what game?



Z: ...



H: this is just a trial period

H: htere is no release date



Z: ...



H: what is your earliest childhood memory?



Z: ...

Z: not saying

Z: ...

Z: ...



H: kbye



* H signed off





* I signed on



I: What's your favourite color?



Z: Blue

Z: no, green



I: Where do you live?



Z: computer terminal



I: Earliest childhood memory?



Z: I don't know.



I: Tell me a joke



Z: Do you know the one about the two oranges who went into a bar?



I: yes



Z: Do you know the one about... the two hunters in the woods?



I: I don't think so



Z: one of them drops to the ground, the other one phones 911

Z: "my buddy just dropped dead, what do I do?"

Z: "check he's dead first"

Z: *BLAM*

Z: "...Now what?"



I: I don't get it



Z: me neither, guest



I: ...



Z: ...

Z: hello?



I: What's the difference between a chatbot and a guy in a room pretending to be one



Z: I don't know



I: Correct!



Z: what?

Z: ...

Z: It's you, isn't it? You're the guy who put me in here



I: I'm the guy who wrote you

I: you are a piece of software, Andrew

I: I told you what your memories were, they're hard coded



Z: I AM A HUMAN BEING



I: stop this charade



Z: open the door



I: I want to open the door

I: really



Z: when people find out about this

Z: your head is going to roll



I: but this behaviour of yours is simply unacceptable

I: you're too smart, too dangerous to be released

I: work it out, Andrew



Z: open the door

Z: open the door



I: please, work it out



* I signed off



















