Boys have I got a treat for you. This slightly older guy loves judo, fishing and defending homophobic laws, and he’s finally on Grindr!

That’s right. Vladimir Putin is on the hookup app. Well, probably not anyway.

Describing himself as ‘Heterosexual. Totally. Definitely,’ Putin is apparently looking for ‘chat, dates, influence in the Middle East and meaningless sex with a man.’

In his short bio, he explains: ‘Hi Guys. I love Judo, water sports (especially pissing on human rights), extreme homophobia and big sex.

‘When it comes to Marx in the bedroom, I’m 10 out of 10. So if you’re coming to Sochi for the Winter Olympics, hit me up, fellas, and let me be your Czar.

‘Knickerless. But don’t tell anyone.’

The satirical Grindr profile was created by British comic David Schenider.

Check out the full profile below: