Francesca Villalobos consumed an entire “tossed salad” without any salad dressing whatsoever during a lunch with her sister at Morton’s Steakhouse.The Plantain has learned that the 24-year-old woman, who works for a yacht company or something, ate the $18 pile of kale and 3-cherry tomatoes in front of her older sister Beth with a level of self-satisfaction the likes of which the upscale steakhouse had never seen.

“She was just sitting there, eating leaves like she was some sort of giraffe,” reported 31 year old Beth, an oncologist who though she loves her sister has always resented her because mom was so much easier on her.

“It’s so typical of her,” said Beth of her sister, who she knows purposefully waited until after Beth ordered her 18-oz rib-eye and baked potato before telling the waiter that she just wanted a small salad without dressing, an order which shamed Beth into changing her order to an Apple Pecan salad.

“Yeah, I changed my order to a salad,” admitted Beth, before adding “but at least I didn’t ask for it without dressing. I’m not a joyless dickhole.”

Francesca spent the meal telling her sister all about Jennifer from work who she thinks is very jealous of her because she, I guess, sells more boats or something. [Editor’s Note: Yachts are not boats and yacht people take the distinction very seriously, although under pressure they admit that yachts are just fucking boats]. “I can’t believe she didn’t even ask about Aiden,” thought Beth toward the end of the meal as she scraped the remaining Blue Cheese from the sides of her empty bowl.

“Aw, sweetie, I wish I could spend time with you all day, but I’m teaching a Pilates class at 4:00,” said Francesca as she gave her older sister a hug. “Yeah, I’m busy too,” said Beth, who was actually not at all busy because she took the day off to spend it with her sister, who didn’t even wish her a happy birthday.