Remember the Time

Lately I’ve been having this recurring dream – I fall asleep on the couch in front of the TV. I wake up. I think it’s 2009. Michael Jackson was about to embark on a world tour; Helena Geurgis was a star cabinet minister; and the government launched Canada's Economic Action Plan to stimulate the economy. It was a very long time ago. But then I started asking around and I'm not the only one who suddenly thinks it’s 2009.



And why? Well, suddenly every TV show broadcast in Canada is brought to you by Canada's Economic Action Plan. Which is strange because it’s over. It’s done. That stimulus thing – it happened – but it's in the past. And yet the Harper government, in this period of austerity, has announced they’re going to spend 16-million dollars on brand new Economic Action Plan ads.



And why? Well, deep in their hearts, they think we’re very stupid. They think we won’t care that they’re cutting prison chaplains, and meat inspection and scientists because this week's episode of Glee or Honey Boo Boo is brought to you by Canada's action plan. Hey look, Pa! They're doing stuff! And the ads well, they make us feel good, they’re all touchy feely like those ‘Church of Latter Day Saints' ads used to make us feel, back in 2009.



Look, I get it, governments are always going to spend money on priorities that some of us don’t like. But does anyone think it’s a good idea to spend money advertising something that doesn't exist? Show me someone who thinks that's a good idea, I'll show you someone that needs a CAT scan.



Look, when a card shark does a card trick, they all have one thing in common. They distract you with one hand so you have no idea what the other hand is doing. And at 16-million dollars in advertising – that’s one expensive hand. Don't fall for it.



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