Forget Super Bowl commercials, that's not how you sell a car! Celebrities are the ticket, and in 1995, there was only one man who could guide the entire nation through the vast automotive universe: Sir Patrick Stewart.

Captain Picard's voiceover in one of the commercials featured in Motor Week's '96 Turbo review reminded me that in 1995, Star Trek: The Next Generation was finished, and so the biggest star of the series had nothing left to do but to turn that success into some Deutsche Marks by becoming the Morgan Freeman of that earlier time and space.

Porsches's nearly nine minute long 993 Carrera 2 clip is rather informative. If you wait long enough for the credits, you learn that the car starts at $59,900, gets to sixty in 5.4 seconds and will keep going until 168mph. The chassis is 20 percent stiffer, and you get massive cross-drilled disc brakes nearly 12 inches in diameter. What's more, each engine got bench tested for 30 minutes, and every car driven on the Autobahn before delivery. That's why service intervals are now only due every 15,000 miles, and that's why they can only build 60 a day, or 62 on a good day. If you opt for the cabriolet, know that the top takes 14 hours to hand sew.

But before you could read all that and the bit about the more effective windshield wipers, you'll listen to some shamanic flute music instead as Patrick Stewart tells you about life, soul, the heart's 18 million beats throughout a lifetime, the voice that knows, the monuments created, purity and authenticity, Danny Sullivan and Road & Track. Yes, we found that the 1995 Carrera 2 "is a very, very special 911 to drive, and even easier to drive home with $5000 off last year's price." Praise indeed.

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