Alex said he watched his step-father get stabbed to death when he was 11 years old. A year later he joined a street gang — and by 13 a gang leader put a gun in his hand and deputized him as “block security.” WBEZ is not using Alex’s last name to protect his identity because of the sensitive nature of the illegal activities he described. Alex, now 21, said his relationship with the gang goes back to middle school, when an older gang member started hanging around with him and his friends. “Out of nowhere, we just started hanging out with a bunch of gang members, you know? It went from one gang member to four or five — and then maybe 10 or 11,” Alex said. One of the gang members eventually suggested Alex and his friends join for money and protection, Alex said. “We love money, so we’re like, ‘Yeah that’s cool. We’ll join,’” he said. To join the gang, he and four friends had to beat each other for about three minutes while the older gang members looked on, Alex said. After that, they were in. Alex said he started off selling drugs and used the money to help his mother pay the bills. But drug dealing eventually led him to more violent crimes. “I was witnessing these grown men killing guys, and I was supposed to be the ride along,” Alex said.

“I’m supposed to ride along with these guys, watch them kill somebody, so next time I come, I know how to kill somebody.”

He said that less than a year after he joined, a veteran gang member handed him a .45-caliber handgun and designated him security for that day. Alex, then just 13 years old, said he stood in the alley holding the gun in his waistband near the front pocket of his hoodie. After about an hour, a car with four men inside pulled up and at least one man inside asked for marijuana, Alex said. “One of my friends walked up to the car not knowing it was actually a rival gang trying to trick us,” Alex said. “Once my friend walked up to the car, on the opposite side of the car, a door opened … and as soon as the guy jumped out of the car, he charged at us with a bat.” Alex said he started shooting. He shot four or five times, aiming at the guy’s chest. Alex remembered the power of the gun knocking his wrist back. And the adrenaline rush.

“It kinda felt good in a way, because like I stopped these guys from trying to hurt us,” he said.

The man survived, but Alex was caught by police with the gun. He was charged as a juvenile, according to court records. He spent about two-and-a-half years shuffling between juvenile jail, home confinement and youth prison.

Alex remembers wanting to avenge a friend's death