Imagine one day, while minding your own business, you receive a message from a girl who you had a drunken fling with. Before you click on it, you feel your lower back tense. Is it going to be one of those emails saying you should get checked? Did she give you the clap? Wait…ARE YOU A DAD!?

You click on it, bracing for the worst, and find this:

That’s right. Your wam-bam-thank-you-ma’am is just soliciting you for money, and not as a favor from a friend, and not because she’s looking for a sugar daddy. No, she’s asking you to put money up to pay for abortions.

That’s what happened to – what I can only assume – is half the dudes in a county when this girl popped up on social media one day to request from every dude she’s banged, so that she can help her bowling team pay for other girls to have abortions.

“I’ve spent countless dollars on birth control since I was a teen,” writes Whore. “It’s time for dudes to pay up.”

First off, screw her (not literally, that’s risky for various reasons) and her cause. No one is forcing her to take birth control, and no one is forcing her to do the act that requires birth control to stay baby-free. She makes both of these decisions on her own, and could just as easily, I don’t know, not do them.

Soliciting ex-escapades to raise money to kill babies in the womb isn’t just vile, it reeks of immaturity beyond what any 13-year-old girl with a grudge is capable of. This is a human life we’re talking about here, but you’re treating it like you’re asking your no-pants dance partner to buy some cookies.

By the way, don’t think I didn’t notice the last little line about hanging out soon. You’re sending this to all your bedpost notches? Gross.

But secondly, you’re essentially putting the responsibility of payment for other’s sex life on men that had nothing to do with it. This is essentially acting like men as a whole need to bear some of the burden for choices they didn’t even make.

It’s not Greg’s, Steven’s, Chuck’s, Brad’s, John’s, John’s brother’s, and that guy you met at the park (you think his name was Todd), responsibility to fork over cash so that a girl Todd never even met can afford to terminate a baby.

Unless the man is directly involved, that man isn’t involved. It’s as simple as that. There is no entry fee or fun-time tax required, and any woman who thinks men should pay up for getting jiggy with it that one time should go about doing it the way women have been doing it normally for centuries, and get married. At least then you’ll have stability.

Abortions aren’t just a fun way to stay consequence-free, it’s taking a life and then dealing with all the physical and emotional effects that come with it. So stop for a second before you pull up John’s Facebook profile and start asking him for donations, and really think about what it is you’re actually doing:

Being a whore asking for money for other whores who need money. Sound harsh? You’re the one asking for money from a guy strictly because you had sex with him. That’s the reality.

Hat tip: Barstool Sports

Photo by Katarzyna Bialasiewicx/Getty Images

Hailing from Austin, Texas, Brandon Morse has been writing about politics and culture across many websites for the last six years, with a heavy emphasis on anti-authoritarianism. Aside from writing articles, he is also known for voice acting and authoring scripts. He is an avid gamer, dog person, and has a bad habit of making vague references to things no one has heard about or seen. Follow him at @TheBrandonMorse on Twitter.

Click through the gallery below to read more from Morse in his previous EveryJoe columns:

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