Although Christmas and New Years are now in the rear-view mirror, they’re not so far behind to keep me from commenting on everyone’s favorite holiday tradition — the RIDE program.

Dating back to 1977 — the acronym originally standing for “Reduce Intoxicated Driving in Etobicoke”, nothing shouts “Happy Holidays!” like a police road block where motorists are forced to stop and answer questions about their sobriety.

This cop’s opinion of RIDE programs? They’re a joke.

The most common objective for most cops working this detail is to give as many “warns” as possible.

The term warn comes from the Dragger Alcotest, which is a roadside screening device that is used to test the sobriety of those who pass through the check point.

It doesn’t really matter what the person blows, whether its a fail, warn or numerical reading which means they’re below the legal .08 setting. The average person would be shocked to know how much bullshit paperwork is involved with an impaired charge.

On average, it takes anywhere from 3-5 hours of solid typing to complete, usually resulting in some bullshit fine.

There is no real penalty for drinking and driving in Canada and this fact isn’t lost on the cops who uphold this nonsense. Why waste our time when the courts don’t give a shit, anyway?

No for the even bigger bullshit of it, in some communities every single RIDE is fueled by provincial monies and is paid overtime to off-duty cops. It pays $50 an hour and most of the province’s funding for these comes from … drum roll… MADD!

That’s right, a fucking lobbying group foots the bill for all this bullshit.

Ever take a good look at the number of vehicles stopped to the amount of impaired charges laid? The conviction rate is staggeringly low.

And still, the RIDE program is rolled out across the province year after year.