The Bowraville families speak of their children – Colleen Walker, Evelyn Greenup and Clinton Speedy Duroux – as if they never left. It has been over a quarter of a century since the three Aboriginal children were murdered on Bowraville mission, on the mid-north coast of New South Wales, but it is like it occurred yesterday.

As Aboriginal psychologist Tracey Westerman said at a parliamentary inquiry: “It was distressing that when we spoke to people we found that, although they were 14 years down the track in their grief, they were still speaking as if the murders had occurred the previous week or very recently.”

The memory of the children is still there, kept close to the hearts of grandmothers, grandfathers, mothers, fathers, aunties, uncles, cousins and even the children who were too young to remember. But the spaces between the memories of their short lives – of Colleen’s “strong character”, of Evelyn’s “shy, sweet, gentle nature”, of Clinton’s “warm, generous, spirit” – are filled with the clouds of injustice, overpowered by the memory of a man whom the families want to get before court just one more time.

There has only been one man ever suspected of the three crimes – a non-Indigenous man who was known to frequent the mission. He was acquitted of Clinton’s murder in 1993 and then of Evelyn’s murder in 2006.

No one has ever been charged over the death of Colleen, but the families have always maintained the trials should have been linked.

After the acquittals, the families campaigned for the overturning of the double jeopardy principle in NSW, which they achieved in 2006. A second police team – headed by Det Insp Gary Jubelin and tasked with reversing the ineptitude of the original investigation, which was beset by apathy and chronic racism – found fresh and compelling evidence.

For over a decade, the families have been trying to get the NSW attorney general to refer this evidence to the court of criminal appeal under the new statute. It took another long period of waiting, several knockbacks from two state attorney generals, a number of protests outside the NSW parliament and a parliamentary inquiry for the NSW attorney general at the time, Gabrielle Upton, to refer the case back to the appeals court, which would determine whether the man would be prosecuted.

The families learnt long ago to temper their expectations but there was always hope.

That hearing began in November 2017, and the families were told the decision would be handed down by March. But that deadline came and went, with the only response being that it would be delivered in “the near future”.

A few months might not seem like a long time, but to the families, it is more salt on a wound that cannot heal. It has characterised this story. The long wait at every critical juncture in their fight was caused by the racism that deems Aboriginal children disposable, and it has only compounded the pain, because with every passing day, the prospect of justice seems even more distant. They waited for the police in the original investigation, they waited for the media, who only recently covered it extensively, and they are now waiting on the courts, yet again.

The families learned long ago to temper their expectations, but there was always hope. Now they are facing a tragedy that they have previously refused to accept – that this could be the last chance.

Colleen’s brother, Lucas Craig, told the Guardian: “It’s like, here we are again. Again the waiting. Before, the minimum we would have to wait is a year. But when you get promises that it will be delivered in February or March, you start to get really frustrated ... It’s been very upsetting.

“You try and keep your hopes up, but then another month passes by. I’ve seen it in my mum. It’s like she has come to terms with it. That nothing is going to be done.”

Colleen’s mother, Aunty Muriel Walker, was forced to wait months for police to take her statement when her daughter first went missing, and endured the weight of the thin blue line’s apathy – they questioned her about whether Colleen was her daughter, and claimed she may have gone “walkabout”. The family are still waiting for Colleen to be found.

It has been painful to see how the family has suffered, how their children are growing up with the weight of this injustice on their tiny shoulders.

In addition, the long wait has meant that several witnesses have died. The Australian reported that two potential witnesses have died since the appeal court began its consideration. Since the murders, about 19 potential witnesses have died.

It is a tragic irony that the system that failed the Bowraville families is the system they must turn to for justice. But despite this, they continue to put their faith in it. Meanwhile, they hope to hear a decision soon, with the knowledge that there is not much time left to wait.

• Amy McQuire is a Darumbal and South Sea Islander journalist. Karla McGrady is a cousin of Clinton Speedy Deroux

