By Bill Maher

People who give donations of $50, $100, $500 dollars, the Bernie Sanders people - those are donors. These are all sums of money so tiny no one could possibly expect anything in return from the politician, except loads of spam email.

And donate is such a nice word. People who donate blood or toys or organs aren’t doing it with any expectation of getting anything back. It’s an act of charity. Let’s not spoil that word by associating it with what the mega-rich are doing to our campaigns. Because they’re not donating; they’re investing. They’re investing money in the political system so that they get something in return. And they might!

Donald Trump supporter Carl Icahn, the man Donald will send to China to break its will and then accede to everything America wants it to do, recently started up a $150 million super-PAC. His goal? He wants corporate tax reform. Sheldon Adelson wants someone to bust the casino unions, because he owns casinos, and also to bomb Iran. The Koch Brothers want to keep polluting the atmosphere with fossil fuels, because they’re in the fossil fuel business. Robert Mercer wants someone to abolish the IRS, since they’ve been investigating his company for six years. Foster Friess wants to arm the Kurds and the Christian minorities in Iraq and help them fight ISIS, because he’s a Christian warrior who “invited Jesus to become the Chairman of the Board of my life.” (Jesus was a big fan of hellfire missiles.)

Look, everyone wants a candidate to respond to their personal interests and provincial desires. But in the post-Citizens United world, the super rich can lay down some serious money, buy a candidate, and there’s a good chance of return on investment. Ain’t our democracy grand?