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It was a kangaroo court of such flagrant absurdity that you half-expected the prosecutor to submit an actual kangaroo as Exhibit A. He didn’t, but he did the next best thing: he submitted an Australian pop music video. And a BBC podcast. And a catalogue of other items so farcically immaterial to the trial of three journalists that even the most imaginative, disturbed or drunk-off-his-face judge couldn’t have sincerely believed them to be relevant.

But sincerity, sanity and sobriety be damned! The judge sentenced the journalists to seven years in prison for committing the grave crime of journalism.

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Now Egypt stands accused of making a mockery of the rule of law and media freedoms. But that accusation makes a mockery of the phrase “making a mockery.” Egypt isn’t just tossing around a few snide remarks about fundamental rights; Egypt is doubling over in hysterics at the very idea of fundamental rights while laugh-screaming “Hahahaha! Fair trials are stupid and you’re all stupid for believing in them and freedom of expression is also the dumbest thing ever, GET IT?!” If rights are a joke, then Egypt is the comedian who shrieks a slew of profanity-laced insults into the microphone at his audience before vomiting all over the stage.