I’ve never really been into the sports memorabilia scene. Some people love to collect their favorite players’ autographed trading cards, jerseys, helmets, etc. It’s something I could never get into. I don’t hold it against anyone, it’s part of being a fan. It just isn’t my cup of tea. Well, at least it wasn’t until today.

I’m not sure how he found it, but Dan Kadar over at Mocking The Draft pointed out this monstrosity on Twitter.

Someone made this creepy Dana Holgorsen action figure and is selling it for $50 on eBay. pic.twitter.com/33k8jrL4SC — Dan Kadar (@MockingTheDraft) June 25, 2017

The figure was made by someone in Ghent, West Virginia and, as long as you start at the base, does have some resemblance to the West Virginia Mountaineer head coach. The craftsman nailed the white Nike sneakers, the gray pants and the often controversial black Nike pullover, but look at the head on this thing. My man looks like Art Garfunkel and Peyton Manning got stuck in the teleportation machine from The Fly together, and this was what came out on the other side.

I feel like if I buy this thing, it’ll come alive sometime around 3AM every night and start screaming at me to “run to the fucking endzone.” This thing is what nightmares are made of...and I can’t help but place a bid on the damn thing.

It does look as if I may have some competition, though.

Please god send me the link https://t.co/NWxQU51DNX — Kyle Bosch (@Kyle_Bosch65) June 25, 2017

Bring it, Kyle.

If I win, you can guaran-damn-tee I will have Dana sign this thing. I’ll then enclose it in a reinforced display case so it doesn’t kill me while I’m sleeping.

Note: The same creator is selling a custom Don Nehlen figure, and I have to admit it looks pretty decent. The guy has talent, but may need to take another whack at the Dana figure.