Dara O’Briain’s take on guilty pleasures is that they should be something that you genuinely feel guilty about. I’m not going to go with that as then I would have to write about my pleasure at looking at Biore Blackhead strips after I have used them, and nobody really needs or wants to know about that little tidbit.

So, now I have shot my whole premise down in flames in the first paragraph, I will instead write about a Secret Pleasure That Would Be Guilty If I Had Any Shame. It is called The Slosh.

If you are Scottish you are now jumping up and down with glee saying, “Oooh I love The Slosh!” You’ve probably also got Daniel Boone’s “Beautiful Sunday” going round in your head. If you do not have a scooby what I am talking about, here is a quick clip from the Scottish comedy “Still Game” about The Slosh Formation Dance.

That clip sums The Slosh up in a nutshell (There are some very funny clips of John Barrowman doing The Slosh on YouTube, but he does it to the wrong song so pffft to that). Most men do it under duress. Men who do it voluntarily are loved by women and mocked by men. All women do it. It is danced at weddings, christenings, engagements – in fact No Slosh, No Party.

My husband is English and we were married in England; however the Glasgow contingent came down en masse. The wedding was a mix of Scottish customs and English ones – Scottish favours, English Order of Service, Kilts for the Scots and Morning Suits for the English. The one thing that I was sure of was that there had to be a Slosh at the Reception. The DJ had never heard of it so I had to buy the Daniel Boone CD just for that song.

When the first bars of the song rang out it was carnage. Kilts were flying and the English were trampled underfoot as the Scots took to the dancefloor (if you ever want to burgle a Scottish Wedding, do it during The Slosh. Bags, keys, phones and cameras are all abandoned as the Scots are called to the dance). My aunties had told my uncles that they had to dance too as it was “important to the wean” (a wean is a child. We are all still weans to the aunties and uncles) so they were all up there banging their knees and clapping their hands. It was a riot and dancing The Slosh with most of my family is one of my best memories of the wedding reception. When it was finished my auntie gave me a big hug and told me my mum would have loved that, so that was heartwarming as well.

I do miss not being able to do The Slosh down here. I have taught the Wee Yin it and we have decided at our Christmas Eve party we will dance The Slosh. You know, because it is important to the wean.

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Holiday Box

The X Factor had a Guilty Pleasures week this series. Here is my favourite singing the choice for the week.