ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Rugby union has been largely abandoned by Foxtel, recent news suggests, leaving it to meander down sport’s river of death that is Optus Sport.

From the sport’s salad days in the years immediately preceding the September 11 attacks on New York to whatever it is now, rugby union has experienced a slow demise that has now been hastened by leaving television altogether.

Optus spoke to the media this morning about the deal, telling reporters that the dark days of the Soccer World Cup are in the rearview mirror.

“We don’t expect the same volumes as we did for the Football World Cup,” said the plain-looking man from the nation’s other telecom network.

“The 94 people who still enjoy watching kickback boater hat footy should experience it uninterrupted,”

“Blah blah blah why are you still listening to me. I’m going to go into the next room, take my boots off and piss in them. Then I’ll put them back on and you can call me Mr Squelchy feet.”

Our reporter looked around to see he was the only other person in the room aside from the odd man from Optus.

Our reporter then got up and left.

More to come.

