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So reads the description on Kabuto’s old-ass MySpace profile. In some senses, it fails to tell the whole story. At the same time, however, it tells you everything you need to know.

A 10 year rap veteran at the time of this writing, Kabuto emerged in 2007 as a shit talking, talented, and ruthlessly inventive alternative to the flow deficient and gimmicky internet rap community. He quickly developed a reputation as a truculent personality, having engaged in many one-sided beefs with such luminaries as MC Chris, documentary filmmaker Dan Lamoreaux, and pirate rapper Captain Dan.

Kabuto the Python is thought to have originally formed out of dark matter near Tau Ceti some 2 million years ago. Since his arrival on Earth, there has been much speculation as to his true form. He himself has not helped matters, describing himself in turn as a python, a deity, an alien, and incredibly ill. Over time, this has stabilized somewhat – To most viewers, he seems to exist as some sort of holy trinity – rapper, snake, and alien beast. It has even been theorized that Kabuto is in fact an alter-ego of famed Nerdcore rapper MC Frontalot.

ACHIEVEMENTS UNLOCKED:

Hover over icons below to discover the achievement:

Armor Equipped: Level 7 (685 XP)

Weapons Equipped: Level 9 (820 XP)

Inventory:

Treasure: 980 Gold