by

Labour’s plans to lift poor people above the breadline by working towards a living wage for all have been slammed by Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne as bad for the economy and unconducive to growth

Speaking on Andrew Neil’s political chat show ‘Afternoon Bollocks’ Mr Osborne explained “It’s all very well someone going out to work and finding they have enough money to pay their bills and feed their family, but if they find out that this has resulted in the country having less billionaires and half of our highest earning bankers have left the country then they’re going to be furious. However if they are struggling to put food on the table but realise the increased fortunes of the super rich have resulted in overall year on year growth according to the FT index then they’re going to be very happy bunnies indeed.”

“Look at countries such as China and India who have enjoyed a huge amount of growth over the last ten years but by making sure a large proportion of their populations are still very poor. If we ourselves have a more equal society then we’ll never get anywhere.”

“At the moment at least healthcare is free for all thanks to the National health Service. And that’s why we’re doing everything we can to get rid of it. Along with anything at all that vaguely involves looking after people.”

“Obviously we all have to tighten our belts in different ways. I for one am vowing to keep my cocaine and dominatrix bill down to a minimum. At least when people are talking pictures” he explained.

Labour leader Ed Miliband has conceded that there may indeed be flaws in his plan for a living wage for all.

“Britain should maybe just have one single rich person and base the entire economy on his wealth whilst the rest of the population queue up to feed him caviare with a trowel.” he mused.