As a 21-year-old at Purdue, the first major investment you will make is getting a 32 oz plastic mug. You fill it with $1 worth of ice cold Coors Light and dance the night a way.

The next Thursday, you see a color you really really like — “hot pink, hot damn” — and buy it.

The Thursday after that, you forgot both of them and now you’ve bought yourself another one. Rinse and repeat. Now you have twelve Goblets of Fire. That’s 384 oz of full cupboard action. What are you going to with them all?

A pot for plants

It’s round. It’s deep. It’s perfect. Put some dirt in it and bask in its glory. Dare I say it? You could plant a cactus in your Neon Cactus cup.

Your new favorite omelette maker

Just start putting in some eggs. Maybe 2, maybe 3. Screw that, go for a whole dozen. Get a large pan, pour it in, and bring out your inner Gordan Ramsey.

A college-chic candle holder

A great way to show how much you care for someone is by having a candle lit dinner. A better way is to have a Cactus lit dinner.

A burrito holder for Mexican cuisine lovers

Don’t you just hate it when you are eating a burrito from Taco Bell or Chipotle and it just gets everywhere? Look no further! The Cactus cup makes a great burrito holder. You will never not use one for you burrito-eating-needs again.

The perfect makeshift backpack

Lost your backpack? Good news — Cactus cup saves the day once again. Put two belts around the handle, stuff your books in and go to class. It’s that easy.

An emergency toilet

Unzip and don’t quit. Aim and don’t miss. Fill it up for extra points.

Use it as normal cup

No. That’s stupid. Have some imagination.

Still, the best way to use this cup is for liquor fun. No matter what other ways you can think of, the Cactus cup will always have a place in your soul for juicing you up and leaving you tired and emotional. Be responsibly irresponsible, folks.