Folks, I wasn't able to listen to Bill Belichick's press conference after the game. My girlfriend said that I had to give some form of attention to the guests at our apartment and that I should probably put football away.

She said that I wouldn't miss anything from his press conference, anyways. She said that she already knew what he was going to say.

I agreed to socialize on the condition that she grant me this interview. Here are the results:

PP: So how did Tom Brady do?

GFB: Okay, so Tom Brady is the quarterback and he threw the ball and sometimes he threw them for touchdowns. Next question.

PP: So what did you think about the play of Rob Gronkowski?

GFB: ...what play?

PP: Sorry, how did you like his touchdown?

GFB: Well, Gronkowski made a touchdown and that's what he's supposed to do because he's a football player. So...next question?

PP: So what did you do to prepare for Peyton Manning?

GFB: We practiced football. Next question.

PP: How did the weather affect your decisions as a coach?

GFB: We play football in all sorts of weather.

PP: Well, I know you had an issue with the weatherman this week. How did the forecast change your game plan?

GFB: Wait, I want to answer this well. Can I have the hot sauce?

PP: Bill, I'm including all of this.

GFB: Well, I'm Belichick, so I don't make wrong decisions. I only make the right decisions. But I don't need a dome to protect me.

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I actually think this is a fair representation of the press conference. So. Thanks for the interview "Bill".