I like to think that the reason the monsters say “they” and “the human” and don’t ever ask or mention Frisk’s biological sex or gender or sexuality is because they don’t know and they are very confused by humans. I like to imagine while Frisk is away all the monsters get together and talk about them and try to figure it out.

This is just a roleplay or short story, feel free to use it in anyway you want with credit, it’s for humor, not science, no offense is intended.



Sans: “okay, since Tori and Asgore had a human child before, uh, mind telling us about what kind of human Frisk is?”

Asgore: “uh… Well I never really considered asking, I mean, it’s really hard to tell when they are young, it’s the same as with boss monsters, until their body shape changes or their horns grow or they get a beard, it’s really hard to know. Without our old Royal Scientist we wouldn’t have even known that Asriel was a male at his age. I did some research in the Royal library and found a book with pictures of humans in it, and apparently the males also have do have horns that grow as they get older, and the females only have a little nub, but humans only have one horn, and it’s in a really weird place and they do strange-

Alphys: “I TOLD YOU TO STOP READING THOSE!” *blushes* “uh… I mean, as the Royal Scientist, I uh, did an in-interview with Frisk…and uh… They expressed interest in me. I-I-I mean they believed I had an interest in them, but…”

Undyne: (pounds table with fist) “I knew that human couldn’t be trusted! They hit on me with my own energy spear when I offered them a drink in my own home, but now this? Has this human hit on all the girls down here?”

Papyrus: “DO NOT WORRY UNDYNE, THE HUMAN WAS MERELY HEARTBROKEN AND DESPERATE AFTER I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ACCIDENTALLY DREW THEM INTO A DEEP PASSIONATE LOVE, I SUGGESTED THEY SHARE THEIR LOVE WITH OTHERS, OBVIOUSLY THEY LISTENED TO MY GREAT ADVICE!”

Sans: “ah… That explains that look they gave me when they took me out to dinner. ”

Papyrus:“SANS! YOU DID NOT TELL ME YOU DATED THE HUMAN! HOW DID IT GO?”

(Flashback to Frisk huddled in the fetal position on a chair crying after Sans’ “you’d be dead where you stand” speech)

Sans: “they had a good time.”

Alphys: “wait, who else did they flirt with?”

(Mettaton raises his hand)

(Aaron raises a muscular hand)

(Muffet raises three hands)

(Tsunderplane raises a wing flap)

(Napstablook raises a hand halfway and then stops)

Alphys: “Is-is that everyone?”

(Moldsmal wiggles sexily and Moldbygg shivers at the memory)

Undyne: “even the gelatin?…”

Toriel: “Alphys, the child also…. The child flirted with me…. But they also asked to call me mom….”

(Everyone gasps)

(Asgore spits out his tea and slams his trident into the ground)

(San’s left eye begins to glow blue)

(Papyrus’s jaw bone falls off)

Toriel: “let us not get angry, we do not want to hurt them, perhaps this is normal for humans, perhaps my sweet little Chara was more….unusual… For a human than we thought… We never got a chance to learn more about humans before because SOMEBODY kept having them killed. Still though, their name is strange, who names their child Frisk? That’s almost as bad as naming your child the combination of you and your wife’s first names. ”

(Asgore cries)

Alphys: “I tried to do the whole trick with showing them several bathrooms with different signs in my lab, but they didn’t pick any of them, just muttered something about an elevator breaking last time and left saying they planned to just water the flowers… Whatever that means. I don’t even know how bathrooms work”

(Sound of Flowey screaming profanities is heard echoing faintly in the background)

Mettaton: “Alphys darling, is what Frisk aligns with really our business? We don’t know how comfortable they are in their body, maybe they just need to visit me and get a makeover so they can feel and look like the star they really are.”

Papyrus: “WOWIE METTATON, THAT WAS VERY SWEET AND DEEP OF YOU TO SAY-

Mettaton: "plus humans boost the ratings and viewers so much”

Papyrus: “OH…”

Toriel: “when I showed them their room they had a wardrobe of Chara’s old clothes to wear, and other humans clothes, but Frisk never changed out of that striped shirt they fell down here in. I looked at the clothes they brought back, a red ribbon, a pink leather glove, a tutu, ballet shoes, a stained apron….”

Alphys: “so they wear girl clothing?”

Toriel: “…. A manly bandanna, a cowboy hat, an old bandage, glasses, a locket, and an enchanted chest plate armor with runes written on pieces of cardboard glued to it…”

Undyne: “what’s the point of this? Who cares what the human wears as long as they can still fight well in it? Maybe humans don’t even have a sex or gender when they are this young.”

Asgore: “Undyne is right, whether or not the human has a huge horn (Alphys begins to hyperventilate) does not matter. They are just a child. Perhaps we should just let Frisk be an innocent child unlike Chara, they are the future of Humans and Monsters, we should appreciate their love and listen to their advice, perhaps this flirting is simply how humans show affection. They are just a child-

(Frisk walks in)

Frisk: "you guys were gonna have a group orgy without me?!”

(Toriel faints)



Fin.