Roy Hodgson names his England squad today after less than three days in the job full-time, proving beyond all doubt that international management is a doddle.

Actually, it's only a doddle if you've got the players to carry you serenely to major championship glory. Uncle Roy plainly does not.

This time, the nation knows it, but that won't stop us getting carried away on a wave of pointless optimism.

Witness those TV ads saying: "With expectations lower than ever, could England finally deliver with the pressure off?" - thereby piling the pressure right back on.

But, deep down, we all know a quarter-final appearance would be something of a success.

So why bother trying to win the thing? Why not have some fun and pick a themed squad - like one of those irritating house parties where you have to turn up dressed as someone out of Bugsy Malone. ED hates Bugsy Malone.

Anyway, here are a few suggestions for Roy's Euro 2012 team: