the geek test v.3.14

I HAVE...



programmed a calculator in math class

studied a language on my own

indexed and catalogued any personal collection

done homework that wasn't required

done homework for somebody else

looked forward to dissecting a frog, pig, etc.

looked forward to doing my taxes

dated a geek

married a geek

attended public academic lectures on my own

studied an artificial language (such as Klingon)

created an artificial language

filed the Census as my persona

worn 2+ watches at the same time

to keep track of multiple time zones

named a pet or child after a scientist, inventor, or technical term

after a gaming, literary, or B-movie character

after a mythological being

a Ph.D.

a perfect attendance record in high school

in college

taken notes in more than one color

thought I could win a quiz show

corrected a professor in class

corrected a salesperson on technical specs

corrected a supervisor on spelling, grammar, or technical specs

written a letter to the editor

written fanfic

written songs or music inspired by something geeky

written a fan film

produced, directed, and/or starred in a fan film

written hypertext fiction

written for a webzine

created a webzine

a subscription to a sci-fi or computer magazine

an anthropological or history magazine

a nature or science magazine

a financial or literary magazine

to a games or gaming magazine

solved a Rubik's cube

solved more than one type of Rubik's cube

solved an entire 500+ piece puzzle

I HAVE BEEN...



Geek of the Year (or equivalent "top geek" award at a geek party/competition)

in A/V club

a theater techie

to a gamecon

to a comic con

to another kind of geek con

to any con as a cosplayer

host at any con

game master

a computer lab monitor

to a LAN gaming party

in charge of a LAN gaming party

in a fan club or on their mailing list

created a fan club

"that guy" at a concert

in the SCA

seriously involved in the SCA

Trivial Pursuit winner > 10 times

called a geek, nerd, otaku, friki, etc.

several times

labeled socially inept

by your "friends"

by your family

in "smart" classes

asked to fix someone's computer

on speed dial as someone's personal tech support

on a game show

a scout for 10+ years

a high school mascot

in marching band

in show choir

to band camp

to a math/science/computer camp

in chess club

on any sort of academic team

in a math competition

placed high or won

in a science competition

placed high or won

in a computer competition

placed high or won

to museums by my own freewill

dumped at a dance

dumped at a Star Trek convention

I HAVE... (2)



attended a geek party/festival

been really excited about attending a geek party/festival

thrown a geek party/festival

Beta tested this Geek Test

roleplayed

3+ times a week

for 12 hours straight (or longer)

introduced several people to RPGs

gamed in a tournament

and won

gone to a party just to play Trivial Pursuit

a phone number with GEEK as the last four digits

and/or something equally geeky

worn a costume other than for Halloween or a theatrical production

worked for a Renaissance Faire

criticized normality

taken the Mensa test

joined Mensa

talked to plants to help them grow

quoted Yoda in conversation or debate, at least semi-seriously

gone to the movies alone

regularly

gone to a movie dressed up like one of the characters

more than once to multiple showings of the same movie

alone

waited in line 2+ hours for movie tickets

for a new video game or technical gadget

waited in line 12+ hours for movie tickets

for a new video game or technical gadget

skipped parties to program or repair computers

to read or study

to game and/or chat online

because I'm not cool enough to go

argued about which "Trek" is the best

founded a club of any sort

snorted while laughing

never turned down a date

held an office in the SCA

written articles for geeky publications

faulted a movie for its technical and/or historical innaccuracies

for missing important elements of the book it's based on

for missing important elements of the comic book it's based on

used "authenticity police" in a sentence

framed my scroll(s)

I HAVE READ...



Douglas Adams

Piers Anthony

Isaac Asimov

Arthur C. Clarke

Octavia Butler

Stephen Hawking

Robert Heinlein

Robert Jordan

H.P. Lovecraft

Anne McCaffrey

J.R.R. Tolkien

Alan Moore

any "The Companion to ..." books

books based on Star Trek or Star Wars

all the Harry Potter books more than once

comic books

of multiple ongoing series

graphic novels

manga

geeky webcomics

fan fiction

hypertext fiction

The Knowne Worlde Handbook

books on math/science outside class

books on grammar outside class

books on history outside class

Russian literature outside class

gaming books

cover to cover

entire calculator manuals

entire computer manuals

software/computer language books

for a reading circle or book club

joke/humor/trivia books for self-enrichment

I WANT...



more Magic the Gathering cards

a real lightsaber

more computers

to work for Microsoft, Google, or Apple

to one-up Microsoft, Google, or Apple

my own comic book store

my own gaming store

a yurt

ASIMO

more friends

more RAM

GPS

100-sided dice

to take over the world

to score well on this test

I WANT OR WANT TO BE...



Jean Grey or James Howlett

Willow, Buffy, Xander or Angel

7 of 9 or Jean-Luc Picard

Scully or Mulder

Harry Potter or Hermione Granger

Mal Reynolds or Inara Serra

Caprica Six

The Doctor

Legolas or Frodo

Leia or Amidala

I BELIEVE...



in the Force

in unicorns and/or dragons

in fairies, trolls or leprechauns

in aliens

in vampires

that anything can be fixed

Linux is the only worthwhile OS

that all this has happened before and all this will happen again

I REGULARLY WATCH(ED)...



X-Files

Star Trek: The Original Series

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Star Trek: Voyager

Deep Space 9

Babylon 5

Farscape

Battlestar Galactica

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Firefly

MST3K

Dexter's Lab

Superhero cartoons (Batman, Superman, etc.)

Jeopardy

Quantum Leap

Doctor Who

Big Bang Theory

Red Dwarf

Highlander

Robot Chicken

spinoff shows of any of the above

documentaries

obscure movies

foreign films

Anime

educational programs (on PBS, History Channel, Discovery Channel, etc.)

Weather Channel

Sci-fi Channel

bonus features on DVDs

I HAVE SEEN (2+ times)...



Bladerunner

Clerks

The Dark Crystal

The Fly

Highlander: the movie

The Last Starfighter

The LOTR trilogy

the extended director's cut

The Matrix

Any Monty Python movie

All the Harry Potter movies (that are released at this point)

Princess Bride

Rocky Horror Picture Show

Spaceballs

TRON

War Games

Shaun of the Dead

Any Star Trek movie

All Star Trek movies

The Star Wars Original Trilogy

The New Star Wars Trilogy, despite JarJar

Transformers: the movie (the original cartoon)

Weird Science

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Gattaca

2001: A Space Odyssey

Comic Book: The Movie

Serenity

Donnie Darko

Avatar

Galaxy Quest

Any Kung Fu movie made before 1980

I OWN...



10+ of the above movies

pocket protector

Rubik's cube

2+ Rubik's cubes

more than one slinky

four-color pen

whole/partial set of figurines

that I customized myself

polyhedral dice with

more than 20 polyhedral dice

a gaming book

a few gaming books

a ton of gaming books

>1 Steve Jackson game

and the expansion packs

Most of the MageKnight line

DC HeroClix line

Marvel HeroClix line

Magic the Gathering cards

from every generation

universal remote control with LCD

3+ computers for personal use

a computer currently running on Linux

a server farm in my own home

Sun, HP, SGI server

2+ sound effects CDs

art made from color gels

a techie black outfit

a toy lightsaber

a real lightsaber

script to any Monty Python film

any Star Trek film

any Star Wars film

rough draft of any of the above

several maps, atlases, and/or globes

thermometer that also measures humidity

a full set of encyclopedias

2+ dictionaries

2+ calculators

> 1 chess set

> 1 trivia game

> 1 video game console

> 1 pre-1985 video game console (before NES)

beakers, test tubes or Petrie dishes

and use them as cups or dishware

an exotic animal

an endangered species

voltmeter

binoculars

spyglass

telescope

microscope

magnifying glass

laser pointer



Sponsored by



I WANT TO BE (OR HAVE BEEN)...



a wizard or witch

a superhero

a physicist

a historian

an economist

a librarian

a meteorologist

an astronomer

a vampire

a professional sound techie

a professional lighting techie

I LIKE TO...



play with numbers

play with words/sounds

play with hazardous chemicals

make documentaries

read on Friday or Saturday nights

go to the library

browse the dictionary to learn new words

browse the Geek webring

do logic games

put together puzzles

help people with their finances

use my computer first thing in the morning

use 1440x900 or higher

intentionally use 800x600 or lower

program

play RPGs

watch bonus materials on DVDs/Blu-ray

work mathematical problems

work chemical formulas

do physics in my head

tinker with electronics

create geek crafts

cross-stitch or embroider video game sprites and motifs

make people think I'm weird

play with LEGO

listen to NPR or AM radio

operate a ham radio

contribute to a open source project

to multiple open source projects

watch public access TV

celebrate geeky holidays like Pi Day

listen to audiobooks (Books on Tape®)

learn on my own

I PLAY...



Steve Jackson games

Warhammer and similar games

Call of Cthulhu and similar/spin-off games

chess

word games (like boggle, scrabble, crosswords)

many types of board and card games

interactive games on multiple devices

trivia games

games that have received a Mensa award

a lot of solitaire games

Devo

Weird Al Yankovic

Dr. Demento

Man or Astroman

geek rock (Weezer, They Might Be Giants, Ween, Jonathan Coulton)

nerdcore (MC Frontalot, Optimus Rhyme, YTCracker)

wizard rock (Harry and the Potters, Hungarian Horntails, Draco and the Malfoys)

books on tape or CD

show tunes

cartoon soundtracks

music that nobody else listens to, ever

no sports

the accordion

more than one musical instrument

computer strategy games

Fantasy Baseball, Football, etc.

MMORPGs

to the point where I need (or needed) an intervention

an excessive amount of computer games

Risk

all the way to the end

I WEAR...



glasses

that I have repaired myself

t-shirts, ties, underwear, etc. related to computer humor or fandom

comic book humor or fandom

science or math humor or fandom

clothing that proclaims geekhood

purses or bags that proclaim geekhood

a fanny pack

ugly or vintage clothing

only black t-shirts

as little brand name clothing as possible

my shirt tucked into my underwear

a hand-knit R2D2 beanie

Spock ears

permanently due to plastic surgery

Vampire teeth

permanently due to cosmetic dentistry

a digital watch

day-of-the-week underwear

suspenders

I COLLECT...



comic books

gaming books

superhero paraphernalia

spoons

calculators

vintage computers

bugs

trains

pins

snow globes

neat-looking rocks

stamps

coins

dirt

dice

baseball cards

plush microbes

anything MOC or MIMB

non-computer electronics components

vintage video game consoles

I HAVE... (3)



cracked software

hacked into another computer system

had long Mac vs. PC debates

created an operating system

Beta tested software applications

Beta tested games

corrected Intel on hardware specs

created ASCII art

altered registry files

used Usenet or IRC

created a newsgroup

ripped, equalized, and meticulously archived my music collection

created a computer and/or video game

followed newspaper comic strips online

followed webcomics regularly

created a webcomic

a computer at home with no cover on it

designed a robot

built a robot

built a go-cart

built a computer

participated in "distributed computing" projects (SETI@home, Folding@home)

designed a nuclear device of some sort

built a nuclear device of some sort

plotted world domination (to some extent)

destroyed things just to see how they work

played WoW

played Everquest

defeated Final Fantasy

defeated all Final Fantasy games

played video/computer games for 12+ hours straight

created a website

before 1996

submitted my personal website to search engines

owned a personal domain

before 1996

moderated a listserv/forum owned by someone I met online

created a listserv/forum

more than 5 screen names

met and dated someone over the internet (not through a dating site)

and married that person

exaggerated on this test to score better

flat out lied on this test to score better

I KNOW...



C, C++, Java, and/or C#

Lisp, Ada, CGI scripting, Pascal, Delphi, COBOL, and/or Fortran

Python and/or Perl

BASIC

ASCII

HTML, JavaScript, ActionScript, ASP, and/or PHP

l337 sp33k

Latin

what http:// stands for

what dpi stands for

how to communicate color in Pantone terms

what E=mc^2 means

what "managed code" is

how to write shell scripts

the three laws of robotics

and who invented them

Clarke's Third Law

how to set a telescope in polar alignment

the value of pi (to 10 digits)

more people online than in real life

who H.P. Lovecraft is

the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow

how to use special functions on a scientific calculator

chemical symbols for 10+ elements

the difference between speed and velocity

the names of 3 temperature scales

and the H2O freezing/boiling points of each

the difference between nuclear fission and fusion

and can explain it in detail

how to count in hexadecimal

the difference between octal and octane

what RAM and ROM stand for

who created MSDOS

who first implemented windows on their OS

what a "patch" means in computer terms

what the blue screen of death means

I KNOW... (2)



all about Jeanine Salla

what increasing barometric pressure means

how to count to 31 on one hand

how to play 7+ games with regular deck(s) of cards

how to roll-step and high-step in time

what GURPS stands for

my age in binary

my Jedi name

my Geek Code

the relationship between Chainmail and D&D

the names of 5+ LOTR characters

2+ Dragonlance characters

5+ comic book writers

5+ comic book artists

5+ Star Trek characters

5+ Star Wars characters

from each generation

the odd/even number rule of Star Trek movies

in what year the new millennium really started

what a THAC0 is

extensive, useless trivia

how to write 1999 in Roman numerals

that the answer is 42

that I am a geek

BONUS ROUND



I am a female geek (check all 5 boxes)

My profession requires a certain level of geekiness

Throughout my life, my level of geekiness has only increased

I think this Geek Test is really cool

I can think of other things that should get me points on this test

+ Geekish Tendencies................................≥09%

++ Geek.............................................≥15%

+++ Total Geek......................................≥25%

++++ Major Geek.....................................≥35%

+++++ Super Geek....................................≥45%

++++++ Extreme Geek.................................≥55%

+++++++ Geek God....................................≥65%

+++++++! Dysfunctional Geek.........................≥75%



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