“I must be the best me in order to be the best for everyone else.”-Steve Scott

I like this quotation, not because it is mine, but because it underscores a fundamental truth to self-improvement. When looking at self-improvement tips for success, which means building your confidence and self-esteem you have to start with yourself.

You have to be the best you in order to be the best for everyone else. If you are not the best you, or striving for it, what are you giving to others? You are giving them something average or below average. No one gets excited about the word “average.”

If people asked you the following questions with these answers ask yourself how motivated you would be to connect, partner or do anything with them.

How’s your life? Average

How’s your business? Average

How was your upbringing? Average

How are you doing? Average

How are your relationships? Average

How are your children? Average

I think you get the point. There is nothing exciting about “average.” There isn’t anything there that brings, energy, excitement, and most importantly, momentum to ignite the power of creativity, excitement and forward progress. Here is what is critical. There is nothing in “average” to attract people who are “above average” into your life.

Life is not a one-man band. It is about creating partnerships, sharing thinking and exploring new opportunities. That’s what can make it above average when people see you, not as average, but as someone unique and exceptional.

So, start with yourself and be committed, not involved, committed to being the best you. How do you do that? You must be selfish. You say, “Oh, people will think bad of me if I am selfish.” They may and if they do, when you are being selfish in the process of being the best you, then they do not need to be a major part of your life.

Selfishness is, first and foremost, about self-preservation. It’s meaning has been corrupted over time to mean something negative when someone wants something from you and when they don’t get it they tell you that you are selfish.

Sometimes, I am accused of being selfish. When I am, I thank the person who says that. “Thank you. Yes, I am into self-preservation.” Most people don’t get it let alone know how to handle it.

In my personal development coaching as a personal development coach I encourage all my clients to be selfish in order to be the best version of themselves. In turn, they will be the best for others. That is one of the most important self-improvement tips for success.