Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Catering to the dreams of anyone who’s ever wanted to stand in a long, long line and pretend to journey to a galaxy far, far away, Disney has announced that it’s opening two 14-acre Star Wars Land areas in its California and Florida parks. The news came as part of the company’s D23 Expo today, with executive Bob Iger making the announcement at the climax of a panel focused on the company’s live-action films.


According to Iger, Star Wars Land—which has been speculated about ever since the company acquired the rights to the franchise back in 2012—will be, “occupied by many inhabitants; humanoids, aliens and droids.” He added that, “Nothing will be out of character or stray from the mythology,” presumably to cut down on the park’s medical staff needing to provide live-saving oxygen and Mountain Dew to rage-asphyxiated Star Wars fans driven to apoplexy by non-canonical trash can designs.

Besides the obligatory cantina (with its “No droids” policy hopefully adjusted to be in line with modern-day equal rights legislation), the themed areas will feature two major attractions: “a ride where fans can take the controls of the Millennium Falcon ‘on a customized secret mission,’ and an experience that drops attendees into ‘a climactic battle between the First Order and the resistance.’” And while neither of those sounds like the bile-encrusted roller coast ride through the shuddering bowels of a Sarlacc that fans have been demanding ever since Return Of The Jedi hit theaters in 1983, we can at least hope that Disney’s imagineers won’t half-ass the opportunity to plunk avid park goers down into one of cinema’s most vividly realized settings.


Star Wars Land isn’t the only big Star Wars news that came out of the panel; the company also announced new cast additions to the upcoming anthology film Rogue One, and revealed that Jurassic World director Colin Trevorrow would be helming Star Wars: Episode IX. Because when you’re unveiling a brand new addition to your massively successful theme park, you definitely want people to have a movie about park attractions breaking loose and devouring people on their minds.