'CSI' Launches Spinoff Where People Just Dig Through Old Tweets

HOLLYWOOD, CA—An exciting new CSI series has just been announced by producer Jerry Bruckheimer that follows a team of Twitter forensics experts who bring down high-profile villains by searching through their Twitter history using the latest in politically incorrect Tweet-seeking technology.

“Criminal forensics is a field that is constantly growing and evolving,” Jerry Bruckheimer told reporters. “Everything from DNA, hair, and cell phone records have been used to track down suspects. But the latest technological shift in bringing down bad guys is deep Twitter history reconnaissance. It’s a fascinating new field where investigators dig into a suspect’s past tweets until they find some unsavory comments and then make them public, usually targeting someone they don’t particularly like to begin with.”

The exciting show will feature gripping scenes where experts scour years of tweet-history in order to take down today’s biggest criminals. Viewers will enjoy the cutting-edge technology featured in the show such as word searches, screen grabs, shame-tweeting calls for public apologies, and screenshot mosaics.

Producers say the show is still in the process of being cast. “In keeping with the show’s theme, every potential actor must undergo a deep, exhaustive tweet-screening process,” said Bruckheimer. The intensive screening process has shattered the careers of nearly 700 actors but has yet to find one who fits the role and meets the strict tweet-history demands.

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