Ever read Passive-Aggressive Notes? It’s one of the sites I check nearly everyday, pretty much cracks me up.

Well, yesterday at work I was so so so tempted to hastily scrawl a note and post it on the fridge, with a “take that! I hope you’re happy!” vengeance. Cooler heads prevailed, but man, for that minute I was pissed. Ok, here’s what happened…

I normally take a plastic Nalgene bottle with my old school’s name on it to drink out of at work, but I couldn’t find it. So I grabbed an empty Safeway bottle out of the wastebasket (hey, I knew what was in there with it, so don’t judge me) and filled it up with tap water. Got to work, stuck it in the fridge. Vaguely thought about writing my name on it, but I didn’t have a marker. Started my shift. Back to the break room for my lunch (well at 7pm its more of a dinner but they still call it lunch lol) and guess what? No water bottle in the fridge. GONE. You can feel the devastation, can’t you?

So if I had written a note, it would have gone like this:

Dear water bottle thief,

I really hope you enjoyed my water. Did you happen to notice it wasn’t sealed? Yeah, that’s because I bought it, opened it, drank all the delicious safeway water out of it, got germs all over it, threw it away, then dug it back out of the trash (and you don’t want to know what was in there) to fill it up with tap water (not even filtered!) and stuck it in the fridge.

I’m SO glad you saved your $1.50 and maintained your illusion that you are too good for tap water. BITCH.

So yeah, obviously I didn’t actually post that. I wanted to though, but I just sucked it up and bought $1.50 lemonade. Then I filled up the bottle with water and stuck it back in the fridge… Kinda curious to see if water stealer was that desperate. But alas, no bites.