Disney CEO Bob Iger is about to learn one more lesson, this time with help from Star Wars creator George Lucas. Iger’s new book, The Ride of a Lifetime: Lessons Learned from 15 Years as CEO of the Walt Disney Company,” lifts the veil on the $4 billion Lucas-Disney deal, shedding light on a little known non-disparagement clause.

As written by Iger:

“Even though he had issues with the film, I thought it was important for George to be at the Force Awakens premiere. He didn’t want to come at first, but Kathy, with the help of George’s now wife Melody Hobson, convinced him it was the right thing to do. Among the last things we negotiated before the deal closed was a non-disparagement clause. I asked George to agree that he wouldn’t publicly criticize any of the Star Wars films we made. When I brought it up to him, he said, ‘I’m going to be a big shareholder of the Walt Disney Company. Why would I disparage you or anything you do? You have to trust me.’ I took him at his word.“

Unfortunately for Iger, “The Maker” has exploited a loophole in the aforementioned clause. While Lucas may not be able to publicly disparage Disney’s Star Wars films, he is well within his rights to criticize Iger’s new book. And that’s just what he did when we met him for lunch at Panda Express yesterday.

“There’s nothing new in Bob’s book. There are no narrative leaps forward. Little to no world building. It’s all been said before, and with more insight and better designed covers. I feel like Bob didn’t go far enough,” said Lucas between bites of Shanghai Angus steak.

According to Lucas, Iger’s “528-page trash fire” reads like fan fiction written by three different people without a coherent vision for the full book.

Lucas enjoys Chinese food while disparaging Iger’s new book

“I won’t get into too many specifics, but a few things really stood out as poorly executed. For example, the book is structured into two parts. Immediate fail. Everyone knows it’s all about trilogies. Sets of threes or don’t even bother. And for some godforsaken reason, Part One is titled ‘Learning.’ I don’t think we ever stop learning. So that’s just plain silly and arrogant of Bob. Even Master Yoda has things to learn.”

Lucas became even more heated over how Iger writes about integrity—and, of course, Star Wars.

With only two parts, Iger’s book is less divided than Star Wars fans

“Chapter 13 is titled “No Price on Integrity”… I mean, were this satire like FakingStarWars, I’d say he nailed it… because that’s richer than me. What really bugged me though, is that Bob only dedicated one chapter to Star Wars. And the moofmilker completely ignored my suggestion to name it Chapter 1138.”

After two scoops of green tea ice cream, Lucas admitted to having burned his personalized copy of Iger’s book. “I got more wisdom from its ashes,” joked Lucas. “Let’s hope Kathy writes one next. I could use a good laugh.”

Thank you, Mr. Lucas for the exclusive, and special shout out to Panda Express for cordoning off an MSG-free area for our interview.

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—William “Willybobo” Bobo