What in the name of Latoya Jackson was that?

I’m going to come out and say it. All Stars 3 is the Season 7 to the Season 6 of All Stars 2; it’s an over-edited mess that has moments of magic but overall has lost momentum and direction. Although I wouldn’t blame the cast entirely, this particular episode continues the uninspired and underwhelming performances of the majority of the cast which belongs in a regular season at best, not an All Star season. Apart from Ben Dela Crème, nobody has shown the kind of consistency or All Star level outstanding performance quite in the way I expected from the cast, with Shangela and Aja being the others who made a valiant effort. Most of the time, I’m left unbothered by whatever is happening on screen, because it’s just unnecessary drama and not the kind of performance that one expects from Rupaul’s Drag Race, and particular blame has to be placed on the editing and possibly the move to Vh1 which has somehow blunted the sharper facets of this great show. The challenges this season have been mostly uninspired and, especially this time, tired and lazy.

We open the episode after Chi Chi’s deserved elimination, and we have Trixie thanking Shangela for her decision. Shangela came to play, and she’s made the best choice not only as a competitor, but also as a reality show player, because she knows Trixie will be grateful, and that she won’t have to put up with a possible backlash from the rabid fanbase of the show if she had eliminated Trixie.

The elimination process is still weighing on Ben, and that’s predictable seeing as she has had to make that decision 4 times consecutively now. What’s fair, what’s personal, what’s drag, what’s competition? What’s the right decision? All these questions dangle over Dela’s decisions, and Kennedy is frankly over it. Her strategy clearly is to do whatever she feels that day, even if it involves biased and personally motivated decisions. Is that the right thing to do? Is that wrong? There are no black and white answers.

For the first time this season, we get a mini challenge. The girls have to do quick drag and take polaroids to make pop-arts in tribute to Andy Warhol, and the best part about that is the hilarious results of quick-drag busted up makeup of the girls. All T though, Shangela looked better than she usually did back in Seasons 2 and 3, and that’s saying something of how far she has come.

Aja wins the challenge, and a year’s supply of burgers from Hamburger Mary’s, so she can now share some time with the C.L.A.T gals and make use of Sasha’s free burgers as well. The main challenge this week is two-part, the first being one to create a soup can representative of the brands of each girl and then a Studio 54 couture runway outfit, and it’s as pedestrian as it sounds.

I don’t know why, but we haven’t had a real sewing challenge that pushes the costume designing skills of the girls in ages. Remember the time when the Season 3 girls had to make a dress out of wigs? Inspired by cakes? Out of Ru Doullahs? Season 7 had the most “look queens” in Max, Violet, Fame, Trixie and Pearl and yet we only ever got one real sewing challenge and that only involved repurposing Hello Kitty accoutrements. This is an All Stars season, these girls should be pushed to the limits. They should be asked to provide 3 distinct looks including a gag-worthy Ball look worthy of the All Stars runway, and yet here we have a challenge that would sound ridiculous even in a regular Season. Whatever. I laughed, maybe 3 times this episode, it felt so dead on arrival. If the powers that be behind the show aren’t bothering, neither am I. Let’s go directly to the runway.

Aja: Aja constructed a complete two-piece look in sheer beige embellished with fringe. It looked good and disco to me, and was one of the better looking garments on that runway. But the judges read her for apparently mispronouncing the name of one of her references and then went on to age-shame her by basically saying she’s an illiterate young thing and should go back to Drag school and learn pop culture history. I call bullshit, because Aja clearly knew her references but just like everything about her, it wasn’t maybe perfect, and Ru has some nerve calling out anyone for mispronouncing names when she can’t remember the names of most of the queens on the show (or how to pronounce Edgar Winters or Ivy Winters).

Runway: 7.6

Shangela: Oh Shangela. For being the Daenarys of drag, Shangela sure hasn’t used her time out in the wilderness to learn and overcome her biggest weakness. Shangela fails miserable, yet again, in front of the sewing machine. What she puts out on the runway is on par with her other disasters like that lampshade dress from Season 3 or that curtain disaster from Season 2. Clearly the worst.

Runway: 2

Trixie: Well, this was safe at best. Trixie knows her silhouette now, and lord is she sticking with it. She stitches together her exact look that she did for Dolly Parton albeit with a headband. That’s about it. Yawn.

Runway: 7

Kennedy: Another Kennedy leotard, this time with an oversized sleeve over one side. It’s better than the last time she made a Hello Kitty massacre, I’ll give her that much. Basic.

Runway: 7

Bebe: Bebe comes closest to presenting a true complete attention-grabbing look. It’s shimmering fringe with Donna Summer hair. Apparently Aja helped make it because Bebe can’t sew.

Runway: 8

Ben Dela Crème: Probably tired of winning, Dela presented a prettier, more fleshed out version of Kennedy’s costume without the sleeve and an added collar. Very safe.

Runway: 7.5

My overall feelings towards the runway? Meh. I can’t. I literally can’t.

The judges seemed over Aja, as I am over their arbitrary judging. Trixie gave a very Katya feel this runway. They seemed to love Kennedy’s look. Aight. Bebe made her outfit, ya’ll. She’s the Edison of All Stars 3. They tell Dela that they expected her to bring 120% so her 100% isn’t enough. Sure, Jan. Acid Betty heard that too. Trixie and Bebe end up as tops, and Aja lands in the bottom with Shangela. During deliberations, Bebe basically reads Aja’s eulogy, and then hits the road. There’s a heartbreaking moment when Aja returns to the girls after her “chat” with Bebe, and you can feel the love for her and yet the sadness that everyone knows she’s going. I wanted to give her a hug. Kennedy says in her confessional that if Ben doesn’t want to make the hard decision of elimination, she should play to be safe and not to win. May be that’s why Kennedy oscillates between the top and bottom. Who knows.

oThe lipsync is a Diana Ross song. Of course. It looks as level a field as when Trinity K Bonet battled Milk to Salt N Pepa, or when Jaidyn Dior was unleashed upon Max. The lipsunc itself is emblematic of the episode, tired and mediocre. Bebe is declared the winner, and promptly sends Aja packing. Yawn.

Then we get the setup for the Ruvenge episode, with Alaska and Chad bringing out (only) 3 of the eliminated girls in the Handmaid’s Tale outfit. Looks like Thorgy and Milk weren’t invited back to the party. My hope is that the next episode brings back some semblance of fun and entertainment back to this show after its tepid showing these past few weeks. Please?

Oh, yeah, we also got the cast for Season 10 which airs a week after All Stars 3 ends, and with supersized episodes. My body is ready. I won’t do a first impressions post on them, because I don’t want to make snap judgments based on the MTQ interviews or promo looks which they do not curate. Each MTQ since I started watching Drag race as it aired, that’s Season 7, I have been blessed by at least one cast member who clicks instantly as the one I’ll root for, regardless of their placement in the game. It went MAX, Acid Betty and then Sasha Velour (discern a pattern there?) but this time around I haven’t yet pinpointed anyone. The closest are Miz Cracker, cus she seems funny and smart, and Blaire St, Claire, because she seems really sweet and has a Broadway inclination. Who knows, may be episode one will help settle on someone for sure? Who have ya’ll set your eyes on?