Chennai: When the parents of two students insisted on meeting school counsellor *Sujatha, she thought it had something to do with their grades. But she soon found herself out of her depth. Both sets of parents were worried as their daughters had boasted to their classmates that they were bisexual .

“It had become a topic of discussion in school, and the gossip finally reached the parents. I spoke to the girls and they said they are equally attracted to both the sexes and were not ashamed to disclose it to their classmates,” says Sujatha. “I referred them to a psychologist as I felt I wasn’t qualified to handle the situation.”

Being gay , lesbian or bisexual wasn’t something that was spoken about openly, especially at school. But, of late, a few schools in Chennai have seen instances where children have disclosed to their classmates that they are homosexual or bisexual, a claim which they are not sure is true or not. And activists and healthcare professionals feel that while such disclosures shouldn’t be dismissed lightly, and need to be dealt with sensitively, sometimes it may be a bid to get attention or a need to be seen as “cool”.

“Some of them may be bisexual but there are those who do it to get attention. When somebody realises he/ she is bisexual, it is not some kind of jolly erotic trip; it takes the person some time to process it in their mind and understand the pros and cons,” says psychiatrist N Rangarajan.

During the course of an individual’s sexual development, there is a stage when many things, including same sex contact, can be sexually attractive. “But that doesn’t mean that the person is homosexual or bisexual. It’s all part and parcel of the development of one’s sexuality,” he says, adding that concerned parents do bring in children who are confused about their sexual orientation. “While some parents are accepting and want to help, others come down heavily on their children and don’t let them express their sexuality. In such cases, the children are usually brought in as their academic performance is dipping and only when we talk to them they disclose the sexual issues that are bothering them.”

Sexologist Dr Narayana Reddy agrees, saying that when children attain puberty, they are likely to experiment. “They may have same sex experiences but it’s not the same as being homosexual or bisexual,” he says.

Male fantasies related to porn could be another reason why young girls claim to be bisexual, says L Ramakrishnan of SAATHII, a health and human rights NGO. “It may not be seen as cool to be lesbian, gay, transgender or a bisexual man. But, being a bisexual woman may be considered cool partly because of the influence of pornography developed for straight men as a lot of them have sexual scenes between two or more women,” he says.

“The idea that women together is considered a turn-on for straight guys could be one of the reasons why young women say they are bisexual as it would get the attention of straight guys or increase their desirability factor,” says Ramakrishnan. “But, though I say this, I would not want to dismiss somebody’s identity.”

Dr Reddy feels that in the present climate, there is more societal acceptance of different sexual orientations. “Many celebrities are coming out in the open and there are also more movies dealing with such subjects, which may make children think it is cool,” he says.

However, experts say that to really understand what your child is really dealing with, parents have to wait and watch, and be accepting before rushing to a professional for help. “You have to watchful and see whether your child feels the same way or not. If you feel he/ she needs help, then you should approach a counsellor or psychologist,” says Dr Reddy.*Name changed

