Previously on All Stars: BenDeLaCreme continued to slay everything. Kennedy Davenport got jealous of Dela and started being extra snarky at her. Shangela hit the bottom two for the first time, while Trixie Mattel finally woke the fuck up. And Bebe Zahara Benet “forgot” to mention Aja helped her with her garment, then sent her home.

After five weeks of eliminated queens being snatched away by handmaids, it’s finally time for these bitter queens to come back for their ruvenge. Chad Michaels and Alaska return to meet RuPaul on the main stage, and with them, five handmaids, ready for vengeance.

They introduce themselves one by one as the Handmaid-y names they have from the queens who eliminated them: OfBenDeLaCreme, OfShangela, etc. This show is damn lucky none of those queens have also been eliminated, cause that’d be hella awkward.

With that, the eliminated ladies are ready to ruturn for one more challenge. And that marks the end of Chad Michaels and Alaska’s roles on this season. I was kind of hoping they’d take part in whatever upcoming challenge this was going to be, but guess not.

Meanwhile, the top five are back in the werk room mourning Aja’s departure. Bebe Zahara Benet praises her, then erases her mirror message saying “Love you Ajie-poo!”

The ladies sit down to discuss the elimination and Trixie reveals she also had Aja’s lipstick. Shangela is touched. Sisterhood!

The girls bring up track record, and it becomes clear that the queen with the worst track record in the room right now is Kennedy. She defends herself by saying it shouldn’t be about track record, but more about enduring and managing to be “there at that moment.”

The next morning, the ladies are joined by RuPaul, who announces the main challenge of the week: The queens must create characters, as well as write and record lyrics, for an audition to be the next Kitty Girl supergroup. Something something Spice Girls basically. But wait!

The top five queens aren’t the only ones who’ll be auditioning, because the eliminated queens are being given a shot too!

At the end of the challenge, depending on the contestants’ performances, one top five queen will go home and one eliminated queen will return.

Time to get to the challenge! Wait just kidding: first, we need ten full minutes of bitter eliminated queens being shady to the top five. Drama makes ratings, people!

First up, Thorgy Thor‘s note about Shangela. Thorgy clearly did mean for the note to just be for Trixie Mattel’s eyes, so even Miss Thor is surprised that Trixie put it up on her wall for everyone to see.

Thorgy and Shangela have some words about Thorgy’s elimination, and how Shangie felt she was the one who did the worst that week. Thorgy isn’t fully satisfied, but she also says in her confessional that she shouldn’t have been in the bottom two in the first place, and that’s not Shangela’s fault.

Next up, Morgan McMichaels comes for BenDeLaCreme. Hard. She tells Dela it was wrong of her to sit there and say they were going to stick to the judges’ critiques and not get rid of the strongest competition, but then she kinda did just that to Morgan, who arguably did better than Chi Chi DeVayne that night. She uses the words “coward” and “hypocrite.”

Dela, being the kind, non-confrontational Miss Congeniality that she is, does her best with this situation, but no one can stand up to Morgan McMichaels and Dela quickly ends up looking like she wants to die.

Fortunately, Aja saves Dela by taking over to confront Bebe Zahara Benet about her elimination. But you know that conversation is not gonna go how Aja wants it to go, because Bebe literally starts by doing this:

Bebe totally shoots Aja down and nothing is resolved.

Now, it’s Milk‘s turn. She asks Kennedy Davenport why she was chosen to go home over Chi Chi DeVayne. So Kennedy drops the big ol’ bomb that most of the girls in the competition thought Milk was totally full of herself and highly delusional.

With that conflama out of the way, it’s finally time for everyone to act like fucking professionals and get to the challenge. The top five girls start to decide on what kind of characters they wanna be. Shangela is Sparkle Kitty. Kennedy Davenport is Diva Kitty. Bebe Zahara Benet decides to be Jungle Kitty.

BenDeLaCreme, however, is still shooketh from her fight with Morgan McMichaels and isn’t able to process much of anything right now.

We’re skipping the songwriting portion entirely, it looks like, because next up is the recording session in the studio. The eliminated girls come in first and are greeted by guest judge Adam Lambert, plus Freddy Scott & Leland.

We don’t get to see Thorgy or Chi Chi recording, but Morgan, Aja, and Milk get to do their thing and they all do great. The top five girls are in trouble.

Next up, the queens still in the competition record their lines. Bebe Zahara Benet comes in with this crazy half-African, half-French rap thing.

Trixie Mattel is up next. Now, Trixie’s a musician fish, so she’s done this before. I think maybe she’s used to recording sessions where she’s the most important person in the room, because she gets a little snappy with Adam Lambert and the other two dudes when they try to give her constructive criticism.

Dela is taking the anger and bitterness she’s feeling today and using it to fuel her Goth Kitty character. She’s still stuck in her head a little bit, though, and struggles to find a way to make her recording exciting.

The next mornting, the girls are getting ready for the challenge and Shangela asks BenDeLaCreme about the situation with Morgan McMichaels. Dela is still totally rattled. The whole competition and elimination system have been getting to her, and Morgan has compounded all of that tenfold. Shangela encourages Dela to go talk to Morgan and get some closure.

At first, it doesn’t look like anything is getting resolved, but Morgan elaborates a bit and takes a step back, admitting she feels bad for having been too aggressive with Dela. And she apologizes.

Meanwhile, Milk is talking to Kennedy. She’s still feeling totally blindsided about not being told that she was a total diva bitch. In her confessional, Chi Chi DeVayne, who’s listening to this, says she thinks Milk took all the adoration she had for being hot out of drag and assumed the praise also applied to her drag. When maybe that’s not the case.

I do feel bad for Milk. I think she had some misconceptions about herself and is maybe a little too used to being worshipped outside of this competition. So All Stars might have actually helped her look at things a little differently, and that’s definitely a good thing. Self-awareness is key, mawma.

Time for the main stage!

The eliminated girls go first with their performance. Let’s get into it!

Chi Chi DeVayne is playing Cajun Kitty, and she’s a surprisingly good singer. Her wig looks pretty crappy, though.

Morgan as Bimbo Kitty looks stun, has a top and bottom reveal, and quotes Tatianna, which is fun. Slight wardrobe malfunction, though—her pants fall right in the middle of the stage and literally everyone has to dance around them. Oops.

Aja is Lil’ Banjee. She does splits, cartwheels, vogueing, she’s fierce as hell and her wig has edges all around her forehead, which is a really clever touch.

Thorgy Thor’s Cardio Kitty is quintessential Thorgy: big hair, full of energy, and just a tiny bit offensive. It’s really fun.

Milk actually looks pretty good as… well… Milky Kitty. I’ll give it to her, her act is fun and full of pep. This is probably her best performance.

That’s a wrap on the very successful eliminated queens group. I don’t think anybody was really weak, which is awesome for them.

Next, the top five perform!

Trixie Mattel is I.Q. Kitty, a horny math nerd. It’s cute, funny, and she looks gorgeous. And she’s a singer, so the musical section is nailed.

Like Chi Chi and Trixie, Kennedy as Diva Kitty completely kills the singing—she’s got some pipes, this girl! Her wig, however, is an affront to the art of drag. She even manages to get it tangled on her face halfway through.

I was worried for Dela, but she makes Goth Kitty werk for her. Her anger injects a lot of energy into her performance, and her facial expressions throughout the thing are excellent.

Shangela’s Sparkle Kitty is bright, fun, and glamorous. There isn’t a ton of personality in her part, but she looks damn good, so it’s okay.

Bebe is crazy and weird with her half-French, half-feral Jungle Kitty, but it’s not bad at all. She’s got the curves right and her hair looks real good.

Okay, werk! I think the eliminated girls did a little bit better, personally, but these queens were great too.

Everyone comes back onto the main stage, where RuPaul declares the top five queens as the winning team.

Trixie Mattel is praised by guest judge Emma Bunton, a.k.a. Baby Spice, for being very Baby Spice-like. Dela is complimented for being super fierce as a goth girl and channeling her emotions nicely. The judges are all over Bebe Zahara Benet’s “rakatatititata” quirkiness. With the critiques delivered, BenDeLaCreme and Bebe are the top two of the week.

The winner of the lip-sync will get to kick out one of the other queens in the top five AND bring back an eliminated queen. But the eliminated queens get no critiques whatsoever, so it all feels a little arbitrary.

The girls return to the werk room for deliberations, and a lot of the queens are pretty shook. BenDeLaCreme in particular is frazzled. Deciding who goes home has been really hard on her, week after week, but this time it’s even worse—AND she has to also decide who comes back if she wins the lip-sync.

Trixie Mattel is calm, assertive, and knows she doesn’t deserve to go home. She’s acting like a winner, and I can’t decide if she’s misguided or just really, really sure she’s not going home. To be fair, she did do the best out of the bottom girls this week.

The top girls check in with the eliminated queens to get a sense of how they feel about potentially coming back. Thorgy Thor speaks up about how she needs a rudemption from her first couple episodes on the season. But she’s gotten so little screen time, I almost forgot she was here, to be honest.

Morgan McMichaels, Aja, and Milk want to come back to the competition. Milk, as always, is a bit misguided about things. Chi Chi DeVayne, on the other hand, shows a remarkable amount of perspective about the situation: she knows she blew it this season, and she needs more time out in the real world to improve before she can even consider something like this again. She definitely doesn’t need to be brought back today, and she tells everyone as much, even throwing in some beautiful shade at last year’s All Star who overstayed her welcome, Roxxxy Andrews.

It’s time for BenDeLaCreme and Bebe Zahara Benet to choose their lipsticks for the lip-sync.

Now for the lip-sync. There’s a lot riding on this, so the pressure is insane. They’re performing to a remix of “Nobody’s Supposed To Be Here” by Deborah Cox.

BenDeLaCreme looks gorgeous, she’s got a beautiful costume change with a reveal, she’s doing the thing, it’s great. Bebe Zahara Benet, in the meantime, is pulling an excellent park-and-bark and kills the lip-syncing… Until she pulls her wig off. With nothing underneath.

I mean, really, Bebe. Do you even watch the show, Tamar? Pulling your wig off during a lip-sync without any kind of reveal is an absolute no-no. Aja says as much in a hilarious commentary about Bebe not being Sasha Velour.

So with Bebe having basically forfeited the lip-sync with that dumb wig snatch, Dela wins. The eliminated queens come up so one of them can be brought back.

BenDeLaCreme could’ve picked the lipstick of the girl that was most deserving to make it to the top, but instead—ever the Miss Congeniality—she chooses to give Morgan McMichaels a second chance to show more of herself to the world.

Now for the elimination. Dela starts off by saying “This is the easiest choice I have had to make this entire season,” and I’m expecting some spectacular shade, but…

Dela put her own name on a lipstick with Wite-Out.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, an assortment of gags around the main stage:

Dela explains she came on All Stars 3 for her own personal rudemption, to prove to herself that she could do better than she did on season 6. She doesn’t need the crown—she already got what she came here for.

Love it or hate it, BenDeLaCreme is now etched in Drag Race herstory, with the most wins (and the most consecutive wins) of any queen in the series, and the most gag-worthy moment on the show, probably ever.

Ms. Creme has just singlehandedly turned All Stars 3 on its head and probably inadvertently invalidated the eventual winner a little bit. Let’s face it—whoever gets the crown now is definitely going to feel like a runner-up. It’s sucky, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. With a touch of cream.

Let’s get this rundown started.

Trixie Mattel – Trixie’s super-confident vibe this week was almost a little odd. But I think she’s on her way to the top now and she knows it. She’s absolutely a contender for the crown, especially without the extra competition.

Kennedy Davenport – Ms. Davenport’s been a little bit so-so these last couple weeks. She’s not doing poorly by any means, but especially now with all these superstars in the top five, it feels a tad insufficient. Maybe she can turn that around.

Shangela – With BenDeLaCreme unexpectedly gone, Shangie is now the best in the competition. She’s been in the bottom a couple times, but she’s also the most successful so far. With only two episodes to go, next week’s challenge is probably make-or-break for Shangie now—same as Trixie, actually.

Bebe Zahara Benet – Forgive me if I sound like a broken record, but I do still feel like Bebe is being carried by the judges a little bit. Her performance in the challenge was actually great this time around, I’ll concede to that—but taking her wig off in the middle of a lip-sync is proof that Bebe is just not there as an All Star. Even Aja knew doing that is a huge misstep, and she’s only been involved with Drag Race for a couple of years. Get it together, Mother.

Morgan McMichaels – Now, I love Morgan, and I’m really, really glad she’s back, even if for just one more week. But in all likelihood, she’s going to have to literally resurrect BenDeLaCreme, I mean Jesus, in order to avoid being sent right back home next week. Having missed half the season to now be in the top five feels a little too easy.

That’s it for this week, peeps. What did you think of this gag? Tune in next week for another episode of BenDeLaCreme’s Drag Race—this time with 100% less BenDeLaCreme!