The 100 Most Popular Ships On Ao3

The ultimate ranking of 2017’s most popular ArchiveOfOurOwn couples, brought to you by yours truly.

This is a mostly joking post written between the hours of 1 and 5 in the AM, while drinking half a bottle of sake and a good amount of beer. So, if you feel the urge to be offended by it, I recommend you follow my example and better spend your time getting drunk.

Still, as even joking posts must have some a minimum of moral standing, some basic criteria before we start: Shipping minors with adults is bad. Shipping incest is also bad! Nazis are… yes, you guessed it, bad. Abuse is bad, and that includes psychological abuse. If a character is a rapist, an abuser, or a Nazi, then any ship they’re on will be bad. RPF is a gross invasion of people’s privacy and crosses a million ethical lines, so that’s also bad.

Now, onto the actual ranking. The Top100 is taken from here, based on raw data from AO3, so it’s bound to include filler ships and background ships. Every ship includes my ranking (R) and its spot in the original list (P, for popularity). Cue the dramatic music…

Moral alignment: EVIL

A gif of Derek slamming Stiles’ head on the steering wheel of his jeep.

R100 P003 Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski — Teen Wolf (TV)

Listen. Listen. There are many reasons why Sterek sucks. The fact that Stiles was canonically sixteen and Derek was somewhere in his mid-twenties when they met, first of all. The fact that they barely interacted for four seasons, Stiles suggested killing or letting Derek die nearly every episode for the first three seasons, and Derek found Stiles obnoxious for like four seasons. But that’s not even my main gripe with the shit pairing. My biggest issue is that I was once a seventeen-years-old Latina watching a show about a sixteen-years-old Latino and I thought I would be able to enjoy fun, mediocre teen fantasy; and instead I was bombarded with years of virulent racism as this garbage ship’s fans insisted on vilifying and/or erasing Scott for the sake of their trash pairing. So, yeah, Sterek can choke.

R099 P006 Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester — Supernatural

I know the mainstream portmanteau for this ship is “wincest”, and that should be enough for everyone to agree that it’s fucking cursed. The fact that they’re the 6th most popular ship on that hell-site just makes it worse.

R098 P013 Levi/Eren Yeager — Attack On Titan

All I know about this ship is that one of the dudes is like thirty and the other one is a teenager. Also, that the show is fascist propaganda. Get right with God.

R097 P081 Levi/Erwin Smith — Attack on Titan

Google tells me these two don’t have a creepy age difference but the show is still Nazi-loving garbage.

R096 P059 Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein — Attack on Titan

Copy-Paste the description from above.

A gif of Hux and Ren, standing side by side while looking up at Snoke. Hux says “Yes, Supreme Leader.”

R095 P037 Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren — Star Wars

They’re Nazis, Scoob.

R094 P087 America/England — Hetalia: Axis Powers

I’m pretty sure Nazi Germany is a character in this thing. Like, literal Nazi Germany. So, yeah, this is bad and you all should feel bad.

R093 P092 Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski — Teen Wolf (TV)

First of all they’re both garbage. Second of all, Stiles is sixteen and Peter is like… forty? And the villain. And an abuser. Third, get right with God.

R092 P096 Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky — Yuri!!! on Ice

One of them is fifteen and the other one is eighteen. Get right with God, y’all.

R091 P028 Harry Potter/Severus Snape — Harry Potter

Alright, that’s it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!

A gif of Lex Luthor from Smallville, saying “The funny thing about obsession is…”

R090 P060 Clark Kent/Lex Luthor — Smallville

I know this was a gay awakening for a lot of us but the tea is that Clark was a teen and Lex was an adult (and a stalker and an abuser).

R089 P047 Loki/Thor — Thor (Movies)

Shipping adopted siblings is still incest, folks.

R088 P016 Jensen Ackles/Jared Paladecki — Supernatural

RPF is bad and you should feel bad, but at least this is better than shipping the brothers they play? I guess.

R087 P004 Harry Stiles/Louis Tomlison — One Direction RPF

The only One Direction song I know is “What Makes You Beautiful”, but somehow I have managed to keep fairly up to date with One Direction drama. I wasn’t sure if it was them, but I googled “larry fake baby” and it was. I also googled “larry art exposition” and it was them, too. Holy shit, guys.

R086 P058 Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph — Twenty One Pilots

RPF is bad and you should feel bad. Also… 21P is bad and you should feel bad.

A gif of Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz, talking at the camera.

R085 P072 Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz — Fall Out Boy RPF

RPF is bad and you should feel bad. Also… Pete Wentz is an abuser and he shouldn’t have a career, nor fans writing shippy fic about him.

R084 P034 Zayn Malik/Liam Payne — One Direction RPF

I was told to google “liam duck dynasty”, and apparently Liam’s a racist and/or an homophobe. Zayn can definitely do better.

R083 P097 Niall Horan/Zayn Malik — One Direction RPF

First of all, Zayn can do better. Second of all, RPF is bad and you should feel bad.

R082 P082 Niall Horan/Harry Styles One Direction RPF

Niall looks like what pops up in my head when I read those Scottish tweets. Also, yeah, RPF is bad and you should feel bad.

R081 P095 Jung Hoseok/Min Yoongi — BTS RPF

I don’t know these guys, but I respect a fandom who, apparently, is willing to ship any possible combination in existence. Still, RPF is bad and you should feel bad.

A gif of the band BTS posing together.

R080 P041 Min Yoongi/Park Jimin — BTS RPF

RPF is bad and you should feel bad.

R079 P046 Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung — BTS RPF

RPF is bad and you should feel bad.

R078 P064 Kim Namjoon/Kim Seokjin — BTS RPF

RPF is bad and you should feel bad.

R077 P065 Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin — BTS RPF

RPF is bad and you should feel bad.

R076 P021 Dan Howell/Phil Lester — Dan & Phil RPF

Still not sure those two aren’t the same person. Don’t even know what they do. As I’ve said before, RPF is bad and you should feel bad.

A gif of Frank Iero and Gerard Way on stage.

R075 P038 Frank Iero/Gerard Way — My Chemical Romance RPF

RPF is bad and you should feel bad. That being said, if Gerard confirmed this, I’d support it.

R074 P078 Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens — Hamilton

You know what’s worse than RPF? RPF about slavers.

R073 P002 Sherlock Holmes/John Watson — Sherlock (TV)

First of all, as a known Holmes stan, I need to say that BBC’s Sherlock is utterly disrespectful to the source material and I hope Moffat chokes. If you haven’t, go watch “Sherlock Is Garbage And Here’s Why”. Anyway. Doyle’s Holmes and Watson are soft gay husbands. The BBC’s Holmes and Watson are the two ugliest white men Britain has to offer (and that’s saying a lot), they have no chemistry, Sherlock canonically gaslights John after he comes back from the dead, and the show is an homophobic mess. Get right with God.

R072 P010 Sherlock Holmes & John Watson — Sherlock (TV)

The mark of obnoxious shippers who insist on clogging every possible tag: when the romantic tag and the platonic tag are just as popular.

R071 P015 Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter — Hannibal (TV)

I am, on principle, in favor of any ship that involves two equally deranged and murderous people finding their kin. But I watched like four episodes of that show and I can tell you that Hannibal gaslights and manipulates the shit out of Will, and I do not support abuse. Also, the fact that y’all wanna fuck Mads worries me.

A gif of Clarke shooting right above Bellamy’s head, him recoiling in fear.

R070 P033 Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin — The 100

Unlike Clexa, which is a ship made of two shitty characters but not a bad ship, Bellarke is definitely, unarguably terrible. Mostly because Clarke (the white face of the ruling class), is repeatedly framed as the righteous leader while Bellamy (poor and a political pariah) is her faithful, all-suffering Brown soldier. It doesn’t help that Clarke has manipulated, gaslighted and literally shot Bellamy. The man deserves better, y’all.

R069 P073 Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy — Harry Potter

Some real formative shit here, guys. There were a grand total of three good fics. Truly one of the most heteronormative fandoms ever.

R068 P025 Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak — Arrow

I dropped out of Arrow too long ago to have a stake on whether Felicity is a good character or not, but one thing is certain: Arrow’s Oliver Queen is a misogynistic, entitled, abusive douchebag, and no woman deserves to suffer through marrying a man like that. The fact that the ship has a fandom so entitled and misogynistic that they bullied the writers into killing an iconic female character to get rid of all possible obstacles to their OTP is just the cherry on top of the already putrid cake.

R067 P043 Belle/Rumplestiltskin — Once Upon a Time (TV)

I googled and I found actual edits, so I’m guessing this is not a background ship! He looks… too ugly and too old for her. That’s my only take.

R066 P069 Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Leo Fitz is an entitled misogynistic dickbag and Jemma Simmons is a lesbian. Thank you for your time.

A gif of Regina Mills and Emma Swan, talking.

R065 P027 Regina Mills/Emma Swan — Once Upon A Time

I would, on principle, support one of the only femslash ships in the top 100, one which includes a Latina no less. But I hear from trustworthy sources that Regina is a rapist and an abuser, so I have to ask… What the fuck is wrong with y’all?

R064 P011 Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel — Glee

I was a Glee kid. Of course I was a Glee kid. I was the #1 Kurt and Santana stan, and when we got the news that Kurt was getting an actual, canon, requited love interest I cried. Real life tears. When Klaine kissed for the first time I cried, again. I was, for a good couple months, a shipper. And then “First Time” happened, and one half of my OTP nearly assaulted the other, and I couldn’t ship it anymore. I know there was cheating and some other bullshit, but after that episode I couldn’t bring myself to care.

R063 P090 Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto — Naruto

Kesh tells me: “Bad ship. Volatile. Sasuke is trash.” I trust Kesh.

R062 P007 Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter — Harry Potter

One time a Stydia shipper called me out for liking Drarry and you know what? They were right. They were a Stydia shipper, so they were wrong, but they were right. Y’all will have to beat the ever-lasting fondness for shitty 2007 fanfiction out of me, though.

R061 P057 Loki/Tony Stark — The Avengers (Movies)

Rather than writing Loki/Tony fic, fans could just as easily write “I hate Black people and I refuse to ship my white fave with the Black man who’s canonically the most important person in his life, so I’m gonna choose the randomest white characters instead”.

Moral alignment: NEUTRAL

A gif of Dean Winchester winking.

R060 P088 Dean Winchester/You — Supernatural

I’m calling the police.

R059 P077 Inquisitor/Solas — Dragon Age: Inquisition

Ain’t Solas the white supremacist who looks like an egg?

R058 P053 Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford — Dragon Age: Inquisition

I can’t even grade this ship on whether it’s white or straight because the Inquisitor is a customizable character. But knowing fandom…

R057 P066 James “Bucky” Barnes & Steve Rogers — Captain America (Movies)

If you tag the same couple as platonic and romantic in a fic just to appear on both searches I will break into your house and piss on all your plants.

R056 P099 Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov — Yuri!!! on Ice

Stop double-tagging your fucking fanfictions you fucking demons.

A gif of Victor and Yuuri from YOI.

R055 P012 Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov — Yuri!!! On Ice

I can tell y’all one thing about this ship, and it’s that the fandom is obnoxious. I am told, though, that it’s not terrible and (maybe? maybe not?) canon. Nobody is really sure, the creator isn’t a gay man, and apparently the show is mediocre at best.

R054 P052 Castiel & Dean Winchester — Supernatural

Literally fuck every fan who writes romantic fic and tags it with the platonic tag too.

R053 P062 James Bond/Q — James Bond (Craig Movies)

Google tells me that this is the ultimate hunk/twink ship, but Rachel tells me that they have a grand total of three scenes and Bond is a misogynistic creep.

R052 P042 Mycroft Holmes/Lestrade — Sherlock (TV)

Nobody cares about either of them enough to write actual fic, come on, we all know this is a background couple.

R051 P035 Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield — The Hobbit (All Media Types)

I mean, I guess? The fact that Bilbo is played by Racist Freeman doesn’t really help its case.

A gif of John and Mary from BBC Sherlock, dancing.

R050 P068 Mary Morstan/John Watson — Sherlock (TV)

I know I already linked to the “Sherlock Is Garbage” video but I need to stress this: watch it. Also, I have $25 that say all of these fics are tagged Johnlock, too, because Sherlock’s fandom doesn’t really care about women.

R049 P049 Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper — Sherlock (TV)

I’d bet another $10 that all of these fics are also tagged with Johnlock. In any case, it’s a bad ship because Sherlock is a misogynistic dickbag and no woman deserves to be put through that.

R048 P079 Jane Foster/Thor — The Avengers (Movies)

The sad thing here, like with Scallison being in the list, is that it might almost trick you into believing fandom didn’t virulently hate Jane Foster for as long as she was in the MCU. She’s just a background figure in fics for other couples, often stepping stone for ships involving Thor but not her. Fuck Natalie Portman, but Jane deserved better.

R047 P039 — Pepper Potts/Tony Stark — The Avengers (Movies)

With all due respect to Pepper, who has done nothing wrong, nobody cares enough about this couple for thousands of fic about it to exist. It’s probably tagged as background pairing in Stucky and/or Stony fics.

R046 P023 Clint Barton/Phil Coulson — The Avengers (Movies)

I don’t usually admit to this, but I like Phil. He’s chill, for a white dude that obviously only exists because there was a spot to fill and writers love white men. He’s not even that ugly, for a balding white man in his fifties. Now, Clint? MCU!Clint? He gives a bad name to white men everywhere, and he’s an absolute disrespect to comics!Clint. The worst part is that these two share maybe four lines in the span of like three movies, and I’m pretty sure all of them are over radio coms. There’s never been a clearer example of “fandom will ship literally any two able bodied cis white dudes” than this.

A gif of Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff talking.

R045 P024 Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff — The Avengers (Movies)

The comics counterpart is good. They’re messy white hets, but they’re good. The movie version though? They talked twice, have no chemistry, they’re both played by talentless ugly white people, and they’re not even gonna happen because he’s got a wife and she’s dating the Hulk. The only reason why I could imagine they’re the 24th most popular pairing is that they’re tagged as background ship in every Stucky and/or Stony fic.

R044 P008 Steve Rogers/Tony Stark — The Avengers (Movies)

Look, comics!Stony, I get. They have history, they have friendship, they have angst. They’ve literally killed each other a couple times. When Tony gave Steve’s eulogy in the Ultimate universe, I cried, and I didn’t even like that Steve. But you know what? MCU!Stony have none of that, and they don’t even look good together. Rhodey and Sam are right there, people.

R043 P018 Rodney McKay/John Sheppard — Stargate Atlantis

I have no opinions on this so let me quote from Alec, who does. “Sheppard/McKay isn’t necessarily a bad ship but it’s basically the forerunner for every super snarky ‘vitriolic best buds’, ‘one’s a genius the other is ‘dumb’’ slash ship since its emergence in 2004. It’s better than some because they are actually friends and thus do care about each other, but it’s still a white dude slash ship that exists more or less because they’re two mostly attractive white men. Take the white part out and it wouldn’t be quite the SGA fandom juggernaut that it is. For reference, note the lack of attention for Sheppard/Ronon (Jason Momoa) and Sheppard/Ford (Rainbow Francks) in comparison.”

R042 P031 Steve McGarrett/Danny “Danno” Williams / Hawaii Five-O

I have never watched this show, but I’m sure Daniel Dae Kim is in there and he’s hotter than both of these men, so why isn’t he in the 100 most popular ships on AO3? (That’s a rhetorical question, I know why.) Also, quote from my dear Kalen: “It’s your standard ‘antagonistic banter because how else do we show we begrudgingly respect each other without losing face’ dynamic forced into a ‘this means they obviously want to smash’ ship mold. Fairly predictable.”

R041 P091 Sebastian Moran/James Moriarty — Sherlock (TV)

I’m? I guess, if I were to separate them entirely from the garbage that is the show and appreciate them as a villain ship, they could be good. I guess.

A gif of Dean and Castiel from Supernatural, Dean patting Cas’ shoulder.

R040 P001 Castiel/Dean Winchester — Supernatural

I am one of the blessed few who has never (and will never) watched a Supernatural episode. I know Castiel is an angel, and Dean is a human, and for some reason Castiel/the other human isn’t as popular, so I assume Destiel has just enough canon fodder to justify it being the single most popular couple on AO3. I also know they’re both white, ugly and canonically straight, and that the Supernatural writers/cast have been knowingly queerbaiting the fandom for like a decade. And y’all still watch?

R039 P084 Harry Hart/Gary “Eggsy” Unwin — Kingsman: The Secret Service

I never watched Imperialism: The Movie but Google tells me the youngest dude is twenty-five, so (while I don’t see why anyone in their twenties would want to fuck that old man), I guess it gets a pass.

R038 P098 Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor — Supergirl (TV)

I mean, I guess they share some flirtatious smiles? The ship isn’t even bad in itself. It’s just the disability erasure, the fact that neither of the actresses can act, the fandom’s insistence on shipping Kara with anyone but a Black man… I don’t know, man, I’m just not seeing it.

R037 P020 Gabriel/Sam Winchester — Supernatural

Given that, in my nearly-a-decade in fandom, I have never heard mention of Gabriel as a Supernatural character (and I’ve absorbed a decent amount of Supernatural trivia through Tumblr), I assume this is the kind of ship that only exists because fandom needs to pair off Sam with another character to make way for Destiel. I also assume they’re both white. Actually, wait. I googled. They are. And Gabriel is ugly as fuck.

R036 P074 Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester — Supernatural

This is obviously a background ship to Destiel fics, but it gets points because at least the people writing those fics remembered the name of a female character.

A gif of Harry and Ginny kissing in the last Harry Potter movie.

R035 P067 Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley — Harry Potter

It’s not really a bad couple, and I absolutely adore Ginny but… Ginevra is a lesbian. Also, as usual, we know most of the fic in the tag is actually Dramione, right? Also, no offense, but movie!Hinny is the driest shit I’ve ever witnessed.

R034 P050 Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley — Harry Potter

Not bad, but it’d be better if Ron was a lesbian. At least half of the fics in the tag are probably Drarry fics with background Romione.

R033 P036 Captain Hook/Emma Swan — Once Upon a Time

I’m pretty sure they’re not a bad ship, but they look like the blandest kind of unseasoned white heterosexuals.

R032 P063 Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester — Supernatural

I choose to believe that this is fandom appreciating brotherly love in a decent manner.

R031 P083 Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi — Haikyuu!!

Google tells me they’re the same age and they don’t seem to show up in any screencap, only fanart, so I assume they’re a lawful crackship. I’ll allow it.

A gif of Hinata and Kageyama from Haikyuu!!

R030 P054 Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio — Haikyuu!!

Google says the one who looks cartoonishly short is the same age as the tall one, so I guess it’s cool.

R029 P089 Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto — Free!

Sports anime ships tend be lawful, so… I guess. (I haven’t watched a sports anime since 2007, don’t @ me.)

R028 P044 Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru — Haikyuu!!

These two anime boys seem to be the same age and screencaps suggest they’re friends, so I guess they’re good.

R027 P093 Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou — Haikyuu!!

I googled like four ships for this show and I still don’t know what sport they play. Seem decent though.

R026 P009 Merlin/Arthur Pendragon — Merlin (TV)

Merlin looks like young Butawhiteboy Cantbekhan and I know for a fact that there was a beautiful Black girl who got endless hate from the fandom because of this ship, but I never watched that show. I’m told that the actors had good chemistry and the characters were canon best friends and sorta soulmates? I’m also told the show queerbaited a lot, so this falls on fairly neutral territory.

A screencap of Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg sitting together.

R025 P051 Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg — The Sentinel

Looks like a perfectly good niche ship made of manly straight white dudes. I support it.

R024 P075 Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski — Due South

The resilience of straight white dude pairings from the mid-90s is absolutely astounding.

R023 P076 John Egbert/Dave Strider — Homestuck

I don’t get Homestuck, but I hear they’re like, a staple of the fandom?

R022 P056 Arthur/Eames — Inception (2010)

I guess they’re cool? I found the movie boring and I was too focused on the cool lesbian to pay attention to the white men in the background, but they seem like your standard “competitive white bros” ship.

R021 P100 Peter Parker/Wade Wilson — Spider-Man (All Media Types)

A chaotic good (if endlessly queerbaited) ship in the comics. If you ship sixteen-years-old MCU!Peter with thirty-something XMCU!Wade I will physically manifest behind you and choke you to death.

Moral alignment: GOOD

A gif of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes laughing together in B&W footage.

R020 P005 James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers — Captain America (Movies)

First of all, Sam/Bucky and Sam/Steve are better. That being said, Stucky is a good ship. They’re white but not overwhelmingly ugly, the subtext is there, they don’t have the terribly age difference from the comics canon. There’s friendship, angst, some real star-crossed-lovers dynamic. Bucky literally breaks out of brainwashing because he sees Steve’s face. If it wasn’t for the racist, misogynistic, utterly obnoxious fans, they’d be great.

R019 P014 Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier — X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)

Do they have chemistry? Yes. Do they have history? Yes. Do they have angst? Also yes. Erik deserves better than Charles’ liberal bitch ass, but sure. The problem here is that Fassbender is a walking hatecrime, and y’all chose to ship his version (because… they’re more fuckable I guess?) instead of the complex, layered and utterly compelling gay grandpas played by Stewart and McKellen. Shame on you.

R018 P030 Enjolras/Grantaire — Les Misérables (All Media Types)

I read the abridged version of Les Mis once and these two weren’t even mentioned, but I guess the full version of the book has to have something life-changing about these two because fandom seems to think they’re the second coming of Christ. The shippers never annoyed me so I guess they’re cool for a white couple.

R017 P085 Fox Mulder/Dana Scully — The X-Files

Dana Scully is a lesbian, but I guess.

R016 P080 Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark — Hunger Games Trilogy

Katniss is a lesbian. That being said, we appreciate best friends to lovers in this household, so I guess.

An illustration of James and Lily hugging, by Viria13 on Deviantart.

R015 P070 James Potter/Lily Evans Potter — Harry Potter

Perfectly respectable angsty white heteros. Nothing but respect for my fallen war heroes.

R014 P026 James T. Kirk/Spock — Star Trek (Movies)

I have yet to watch these movies, but I hear the ship is good. Only major complaint seems to be that, yet again, a Black woman gets fucked over because shippers don’t know how to behave.

R013 P048 James T. Kirk/Leonard McCoy — Star Trek (Movies)

Much like Spock/Kirk, there seems to be nothing wrong with the ship itself, except for the fact that fandom hates Black women.

R012 P061 Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler — Doctor Who (2005)

I hear that these are good whites, and technically the Doctor is a genderless identity, so they even get a pass from being hetero.*

*I can’t believe this has to be said, but this is a joke.

R011 P032 Clarke Griffin/Lexa — The 100

Despite Lexa being a white girl in literal brownface and donning Pasifika tattoos and a bindi; and Clarke being the face of a colonizer group who reeks of white entitlement and has no problem killing or abusing people of color for the sake of her “greater good”, Clexa isn’t in itself a bad ship. I think they’re fairly similar characters and they understood and respected each other, and they could have been a great couple of antagonists (think Delle/Aneela in “Killjoys”) if the show had had writers who #1 didn’t hate gays and #2 didn’t love white supremacy. But alas! The dream is dead, and hopefully “The 100” will be too, soon.

A gif from Miraculous Ladybug, of Adrien patting Marinette’s shoulder and walking away.

R010 P055 Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng — Miraculous Ladybug

Delightful, white adjacent heterosexuals, and the love quadrangle is a genuinely great trope. My only gripe with it is the creepy-ass amount of grown people writing explicit fic for them. They’re minors, y’all.

R009 P029 Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich — Shameless

Listen. “Shameless” is a racist, misogynistic, ableist, classist, homophobic mess. We all know that, right? Great. That being said, when Mickey made the split-second decision to come out in a crowded bar, and Ian and Mickey ended up beaten and bloody while Mickey’s homophobic dad was being taken away by the police, and they walked away with blood on their teeth and the brightest smiles on their faces, I cried. Real life cried. I dropped out of the show not long after that and I hear that it’s gotten real messy, but God, that scene is still one of the most beautiful pieces of television I’ve ever witnessed.

R008 P045 Allison Argent/Scott McCall — Teen Wolf (TV)

Scallison was good (though not as good as Scira), but if you search the tag you’ll see it’s actually just Sterek fics with Scallison tagged in the background, and we do not support that bullshit in this household. Still, we’re ranking them high because they were a good ship, and we assume at least a dozen of the fics in the tag are actually about them.

R007 P017 Keith/Lance — Voltron

The fandom is utterly obnoxious, but the ship isn’t bad. I mean, I couldn’t force myself to watch past episode two of that absolutely dreadful show, but they seemed like your standard competitive-but-friendly bro-ship. Also, I hear they’re canonically the same age which is, y’know, good.

R006 P071 Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein — Carmilla

I would never waste my precious time on that white mess, but Shami tells me “They’re canon, neither of them die, and they have a cute dynamic.”

A gif of Jack and Ianto from Torchwood, kissing.

R005 P041 Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones — Torchwood

I never watched past the pilot, but I’ve been told that this is canon and Jack has a lot of weird and great relationships with men, so I support it. Wait, just been informed Ianto was BYG’d. Wouldn’t expect better from the BBC, so they’re still good.

R004 P022 Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood — Shadowhunters (TV)

The book version is bad, but the show version is good. Really good, actually. I have my gripes with it (the writers are not the best at handling race, and they’re an interracial couple, so there are… some issues), but they’re loving, caring, and endlessly devoted to each other. Plus, they have great chemistry.

R003 P086 Carlos/Cecil Palmer — Welcome to Night Vale

My fathers who birthed me. I haven’t listened in literal ages but I read that they got engaged on Twitter and it filled my heart with joy. We love a couple of anti-establishment revolutionaries.

R002 P019 Sirius Black/Remus Lupin — Harry Potter

No, I didn’t read that Shoebox fic. But I did read “Marauder!Crack”, which is like the Spanish equivalent (in terms of popularity, not quality, the Crack is better). I have a whole-ass quote inked on my chest. They invented gay angst, and if JKR wasn’t a rampant homophobe, they’d be canon.

A gif of Finn and Poe from Star Wars, Finn talking with an intense expression.

R001 P093 Poe Dameron/Finn — Star Wars

Yes, there are a few hundred fics in the tag that are actually just Reylo fics with background Finnpoe. And yes, a lot of the actual Finnpoe fics are racist. But fucking hell, this ship is good. I can’t believe they literally invented love at first sight. If Disney weren’t homophobes and cowards they’d be the greatest canon romance of the century.