Facebook

The lovely thing about Facebook Home is that it allows Facebook to follow you, everywhere you go. You've always wanted that, haven't you?

You've always wanted Facebook to follow you onto your flight to Chicago, for example. Yes, even when you're flying coach.

So here's the launch TV spot for Facebook's new app-less Windows Phone-inspired creation.

A very nice-looking man is on a plane and he wants one last look at everything that's happening to and with his closest humans, before the airplane doors shut and the flight attendants start being passionately rude.

So we are offered a real-life enactment of the things he sees on his Home screen.

Yes, there are topless and barely underpanted men secreted in the overhead luggage bins.

And then there's noted drag queen Shangela Laquifa Wadley, the so-called Debutantess of the Deep South, who clearly has been a deep and southerly part of this passenger's or his friends' life in the very recent past.

What kinds of friends does this passenger have? What kind of secret life does he enjoy? Is his little nephew, here smeared in chocolate cake, aware of all this sexual liberalism his uncle espouses?

At heart, this ad is a delight.

No, not because it makes me instantly want to have Facebook Home on my Android phone. I would rather shave my eyebrows with a lawnmower, while lying underpanted in my neighbor's garden.

What is surely pulsating, though, is that it will immediately incite those who believe this nation is disappearing into a Web of depravity and vice to rail against Facebook's apparent support for men wearing very shiny dresses.

I can see the same sorts who oppose gay marriage -- or even gay, lesbian, bisexual or transexual people in general -- fulminating to within an inch of pulmonary expiration at this affront to America's values.

This is Facebook, the place where parents and grandparents feel comfortable sharing pictures of their cats and dogs and tending to their virtual pigs and goats.

Please take your front seat for the debate about whether Home is where America's heart is.