India opener, K.L. Rahul, says he has broken free of the self-doubt that had held him back

It is six weeks since K.L. Rahul scored the winning runs in Dharamshala. As he completed the third run that afternoon – when India actually needed only two for victory – Rahul leapt, punched the air, and roared in what seemed like fury. That moment capped off a gilded 12 months for the Karnataka opener: beginning with the 2016 IPL, through the tour of the West Indies, and ending with the long, triumphant season at home. The Australia series was, Rahul acknowledges, the hardest of his 17-Test career. It was also his finest, the six fifties in seven innings a decisive factor in India’s Border-Gavaskar Trophy success.

Rahul is playing no part in the IPL this year, though, as he recovers after surgery on a labral tear of the shoulder. “The target is three months,” he says, “but you never know.” Over lunch in one of his favourite restaurants in Bengaluru – “we come here often after practice,” he says, placing his order without a glance at the menu – Rahul speaks of overcoming self-doubt, his evolution as a batsman, and dealing with criticism. Excerpts:

The last 12 months have been great. What has worked for you?

I came to a realisation that the times I’ve failed are the times I’ve over-thought about myself and my game and not believed in my skill and my gifts. During the last IPL, I got to spend a lot of time with AB (de Villiers) and Virat. I used to be a shy, reserved person. I always felt going up to seniors and talking to them about cricket would disturb them. But I went out of my comfort zone and spoke to

them. They were more than welcoming and the advice they gave me, I followed religiously. I said to them, “I get to 20 and 25 very easily and then...the next half is the important bit, when I’m set I need to

get runs for the team. How do I do it?” For a youngster it’s natural and human to doubt himself in that position. Once I got a couple of half-centuries, I realised, ‘This is not as complicated as I made it seem in my head.’ I realised after that that talking to people is the best way to go about it. I’m very new to international cricket. In the Indian team I talk a lot to Vijay, Pujara, Ashwin, everybody.

Are the continual injuries frustrating?

Very. I came back from the West Indies and the USA in red hot form. I was striking the ball well. It wasn’t even a big injury (hamstring, suffered during the first New Zealand Test). But it just wasn’t going. But every time I went back I was hungrier than the last time. Maybe the hunger came because of those breaks. The last 12 months, I have gone up and injury has brought me down. There has always been this up and down. I’ve realised how to value the things I have right now and be grateful for them. It’s humbled me a lot.

What was running through your mind when you scored the winning runs in Dharamshala?

It was a mix of a lot of emotions. We hadn’t been tested like that. It was by far the hardest series I’ve played in. There was a lot said, to individuals and the whole team. We did give it back to them but not as much. We still draw a line somewhere. We let our performances speak for themselves. That series meant a lot to all of us. It was the end of a long, long Test season for us. It was a mix of relief, joy and a feeling of... ‘no Test cricket for a while’. We went through a lot. It was the perfect way to finish.

Your batting has evolved since the time you made your Test debut...

It has changed completely. It’s a whole new Rahul. This is what I always wanted to be. Playing international cricket has given me the confidence. There was always self-doubt holding me back previously. In my head I was two steps below where I was in reality. But now, playing international cricket has given me that confidence; it has let me be myself without any inhibitions. I do play more shots now. But I’ve made sure I’ve kept it very... [conventional], I always play cricketing shots; I don't try anything fancy, unless I feel it’s required either to put the bowler off or to send the opposition a message.

After the third T20 against England in February, Kohli had this to say about you: “He is mentally tough. He knows what he needs to do when put under pressure, and backs his game. I wish I was as smart as him when I was 24.” How does it make you feel, knowing your captain has so much trust in you?

That is what has changed my whole...that’s what has been different in the last 12 months, the amount of confidence my captain has given me. It’s incredible. I didn’t have so much belief in my abilities myself. But once I saw one of the best players in international cricket showing so much faith in me and seeing whatever he saw in me, it made me realise, ‘I do have this stuff. It’s about believing in myself. I shouldn’t doubt myself.’ I’ve tried to be somebody else, tried to play a different game in the previous IPLs and it’s not gone too well. I’ve learnt a lot from Virat. That [comment] came right after four bad innings, three in the ODIs and one in the first T20. For him to say something like that gave me a lot of confidence.

The mental strength...

I’ve always grown up with older people, never had a lot of friends my age. I’ve been away from home, been on my own for almost half my life. All of that is where I became mentally strong. I learnt a lot about life in general. [When I came to Bangalore as an 11-year-old] I was living in the KSCA dormitory...almost six to eight months of the year would be in the dormitory. If you’ve been to the dormitory you’ll know there's nobody there. It feels haunted. If you want to sleep there and wake up the next day and play cricket, you need to be mentally strong. I don’t know how I did that. If I had to go back and do it, I don't think I would. But it was the dream, the passion, the desire that kept me going.

How do you spend free time when you’re on tour?

When you’re abroad, it’s very easy because we all like to go out, see the city, find new restaurants. We do a lot of team activities together. In the West Indies, we went snorkeling, spent time on the beach, went jet-skiing. That’s where the friendship and the bond has developed because this team has been away for two years. It showed in the performances.

In India, it’s Netflix most of the time (laughs). I watched Suits through the Australia series. But I hate to sit at home and watch shows. I’m not that kind of person. I love to go out with my friends.

The long hair, the tattoos...do you think your appearance has led to presumptions about you or criticisms of you?

It’s never bothered me. But I’d be lying if I said I haven’t got any criticism or negative comments from close ones, people who supported me. They were only looking out for me. I’m very clear in my head. I’ve built this whole bubble around me. If I don’t think it’s wrong, I’ll go ahead and do it. Just because I’m an India cricketer it doesn't mean everybody has the right to tell me how I should live my life. There’s no rule-book that says this is how a cricketer should be. I don’t think it affects me in my cricket. That’s being me. That’s what everyone says but when you’re being yourself, they don’t like it. What can you do?