The fake news media are at it again. They don't like a presidential candidate, so obviously there's a Russian conspiracy involved. It's the only way to explain why low-information voters rally around candidates the media feel are less than. The New York Times, being the paper of record, usually leads the charge, as it did this morning with this explosive article. As far back as the 1980s, Russia has been playing the long game, working on a sympathetic politician who may one day be president. That man is Bernie Sanders.

There isn't enough popcorn in the world to get me through today. Here are a few snippets.

Nothing in the documents suggests that Mr. Sanders was the only local American official targeted for propaganda, or even that he was particularly receptive to it, though they do describe him as a socialist. But the documents do show the Soviets’ intensive preparation to use Mr. Sanders’s interest in their country to their advantage. Mr. Sanders still had to convince Soviet officials in Moscow to grant their approval and allow Yaroslavl representatives to travel to Burlington. He offered glowing reviews in public and ratcheted up his lobbying effort in private.

Not that we haven't made similar accusations ourselves (see WATCH: Bernie Sanders. 1988. Drunk and Shirtless in Russia. Singing… and Russian Chess Grandmaster Garry Kasparov Smashes Bernie Sanders Socialism). But we're also a partisan comedy show/website. We're not serious journalists working for the paper of record who just happened to stumble upon this story — ironically enough, just when it would be most beneficial to Joe Biden, the establishment's preferred Democrat.

A subordinate KGB operative who had his eyes burned for looking at Putin the wrong way can see what's going on here. The establishment has put a hit out on Bernie. It's time to circle the wagons around Joe Biden. So when in doubt, claim Russia is involved. Or in this case, heavily imply that it could be. Even after the media has overplayed the Russian card with Trump worse than your obnoxious cousin who hoards all the Draw 4 cards in Uno.

I'd have to imagine the Bernie Bros aren't going to handle this well. Now they know how a lot of Trump supporters feel.