Hello, Qupor here!



Welcome to the third Puffcap Report. A weekly Newspaper made for everyone one that makes bad life decisions and clicking on this article was one of them. I am happy to announce that I finally gonna have enough time to regularly release new Puffcap Reports! Like everyone at the moment, I am stuck inside and I need to find a way to use my time for something good! Also with “inside” I talk about my Prison Cell. Looks like it wasn’t a good idea to bet with my Buddy that i easily could escape out of the Zaum Prison. Well now i am stuck in here. But let’s do this later back to the Report! I sadly have to work with limited resources. I don’t have a way to research new Information in Prison so I have to work with what I have here. Also if you reading this my buddy the Puffcap Pedler successfully smuggled out the Report. That Poor Fellow had to ruin his “back-entrance” for that. And you should know the back-entrance is the most delicious cake you can get in Zaum. Poor Cake 😦

Champion of the Week: Ezrael

For our third Champion of the Week, we choose Ezrael the beautiful Explorer. Discoverer of countless Ancient Tombs full of magical Artifacts Ezrael and pro in accidentally reawakening ancient horrors that haunt the world. Well for some reason Ezrael is now my Prison Cell Mate and I am gonna tell you how that happend.

“Other Day, Other Tomb and this time nooo awakening of ancient Horrors” mumbled Ezrael to himself while paddling to the ancient Doomsday Tomb located on theShadow Isle. Ezrael did not forget his promise he gave everyone last week at the Explorerholic support group. No Awakening anymore! He was equipped with everything he needed: 2 Volumes of his Favorite Comic, Food Rations for 1 Day, a Rope, a Torch, his Magical Gauntlet, and Anti-Ghost-SunCream. Ezrael got everything from “Big Hat Jonny” who runs the Store “Jonny’s Explorer, Party and Funeral Equipment Paradise” .

After a Week on the Shadow Isle Ezreal realized, that Big Hat Jonny maybe lied to him. The Anti-Ghost-SunCream perfectly prevented that Ghost could steal his Soul, but Ezrael still was covered with Sun Burns. The Cream also was so expensive that Ezrael only had enough money to buy Food Rations for 1 Day , for a supposedly 3-4 Week long Expedition. Ezrael arrived after 6 Weeks to the Tomb covered in sunburns, but atleast not hungry. It turns out when you sleep on the Isle with an open mouth between 5-8 Spiders crawl into your mouth. Enough protein for a rich meal!



Ezrael didnt even knew if something valuable was in the inside of the Tomb. The Thrill of exploring and the rumour that no one ever survived this Tomb was enoug motivation. Inside the Tomb Ezrael navigateded through Rooms with spike pits , monsters and several Puzzles. The Puzzles even increased in diffuctly , but where always solvable through convient placed hints in the Tomb. Ezrael finally reached the last room that was blocked by a Wall covered in ancient writing. Ezrael carefully inspected the Wall by blasting it down with his Magical Gauntlet. Unfurtnaly was the sound of blasting walls full of ancient importen writings Ezraels favorite sound next to the Opening Song of his favorite Cartoon. In the moment he blasted down the wall an Anciet World Destruction Ghost got free and started to rain his furry over the World. Ezrael atleast found a pretty glowly Orb in the Tomb . It was enough for him to pay back his Debt to Big Hat Jonny after buying from him a 1-Year Subscribtion of Anti-Ghost-SunCream.



So lets finally talk about the reason Ezrael got put in Jail and became my Cell Mate. The Reason wasn’t really Ezreals release of the Ancient World Destruction Ghost. Quite the reverse! Ezrael chased down and banished the Ghost in an Epic Showdown, by putting some SunCream into his open mouth while he was sleeping. Later Piltwood turned this Epic Showdown into a Blockbuster Movie. Unfortunately Ezrael tried on the Movie Release Night, to kiss Lux despite his restraining order to stay 3081 meters away from her.



Well now he is in Prison with me. He covered 1 half of the Cell with pictures of Lux and the other half with his Cream. Overall is Ezrael a nice guy , expect the fact that now every night Garen stands under our Window and shouts :“Ezrael i gonna Demacia you for the Honor of my Sister!” Not easy to sleep under these condition , but atleast i dont have to worry about ghosts in this cell.







Gang of the Week: The Puffboys Gang

The Puffboys Gang from left to right : Big Hat Jonny , Ezrael , Small Hat Jonny , Qupor and Double Hat Jonny

This Puffcap Report we replaced the Follower of the Week with the brand new category Gang of Week. Like I said i only can work with Sources that are available in Prison. That’s why I choose the Puffboys Gang for Gang of the Week, barely beating the LoL Gang and Valorant Gang.To survive in Prison you need 3 things: A black-white stripped Hat, a self-made Weapon (build by combining a razorblades, a rubberband and Ezraels magical gauntlet gun) and your own Gang.



To mine and Ezrael suprise all three Jonny Brothers where in prison too. Big Hat Jonny, Small Hat Jonny and Double Hat Jonny ( look in the picture above) . Every Jonny Brother took over other part of the business and sometimes they swap them up. Double Hat Jonny accidently used Small Hat Jonnys Two Hats Party Equipment to prepare a Funeral. That lead on the Funeral to an exploding coffin distributing mix of cake , confietti and human. Later Big Hat Jonny went to visit his both Brother they are now in Prison. He wore his favorite black-white striped Hat and when he saw that everyone wears the same Hat in Prison he just decided to stay there. That was the day the Puffboys got born and became later the most legendary Prison Gang ever.

The Prison Guards allowed Big Hat Jonny to open his Store in Prison, Jonny wasn’t a criminal after all. The “Jonnys Big Hat Explorer Equipment Paradise Prison Puffboys Gang Edition” Store became our Headquater . The Store had some problems in the beginning. No one in the Prison had a reason to buy Explorer Equipment. After all the Prisoners could not Explore anything expect there own Prisons Cell. Well, the only Costumer the Store had was the Prison Warden. He was a huge Explorer Fan like Ezrael. One Day Big Hat Jonny sold the Warden a 1 Year Subscription of Anti-Piranha-Mint-Bonbons, a bonbon that you eat so the Piranhas get poised after they ate you. Now in debt to Big Hat Jonny , the Warden had to follow every order of the Puffboys. The Gang could to what they wanted with the Prison.

To get more Costumers for the Store we allowed the Prisoners to go on “Adventure Expeditions”. Prisoners could go out and explore the outside World to become a cool Explorer like Ezrael. The Prisoners had to return in a week or we would sell there cool black-white striped Hat. The Prisoners loved that new Rule and they went to explore the Tombs, Ancient Ruins and the inside of Bank Safes. The Store made a fortune selling Explorer Equipment to the fresh Explorers like:

The Anti-Cassiopeia-Black-Ski-Mask that saved you from turning into a Stone Statue and the even more popular Anti-Mummie-Maschine-Gun that only was used to kill mummies with exploding bullets and 100% no one else.



Even the Small Hat Jonny SDouble Hat Jonny started to sell there own Party and Funeral Equipment to the fresh Explorers like Birthday Candle Flamethrowers that are only used to lit up Birthday Candles and “Sorry I accidentally killed your Friend while I went Exploring here is a 10$ Giftcard for a Coffin” Postcards. The Prisoners started to even bring Friends back to Prison opening up there own cool Explorer Guild. The Prison became the biggest meeting place for explorer over the whole world and every single one was in debt with a Jonny Brother.

New Game: Valorant

We going to skip the Reader Questions of the Week , simply for the Reason that i cant anwser them from Prison. But dont forget to send me some Questions for the next Report under https://twitter.com/Qup0r or in the Reddit Comments.



This Time we going to talk about the new Shooter Game Valorant that just got released. Even I heard about this game while being in Prison. I mean Valorant got invented by our Warden after the Valorant Gang tried to start a Riot in the Lunch Break. Well, that didn’t work out and now all Prisoners have to fight for there life in a Arena with Guns. The Warden built the Arena with Viewer Seats by himself and it got completely sold out in seconds. With money he paid his debt back to Big Hat Jonny and now he “invited” us to compete in the first Valorant.

Well me and the Puffboys weren’t really excited to be the first ones to play Valorant. First, every Viewer asks us to drop a key for some reason. And i dont even know what that means. Second, the Warden promised to not carry a grudge against us because we turned his prison into a Explorer City. Well yesterday he told usthat he accidentally dropped our Weapons into a lava pit after tripping over his one Year stock of Anti-Piranha-Mint-Bonbons. Third, our Enemy Team was the Valorant Gang. Not only did they start this Mess, but also every one of the Valorant Gang was a living Weapon.

The 5 of the Valorant Gang was: Jett, Phoenix, Viper, Small Hat and Double Hat Jonny. The Jonny Brothers joined them after I forgot to include them more often in the other stories. Jett could control Wind, Phoenix Fire and Viper Poison Gas. Abilities that the Warden accidentally taught them over Weeks when his Wife left him because he always smelled like Mint and Piranhas.

It looked bad for Ezrael, Big Hat Jonny and Me. We had to fight the Valorant Gang 3 vs 5. Everyone placed there Bets on Team Valorant. After all the game was named after them. Everyone wanted to see us fail. We didn’t even have Ezraels Glove, because he traded in his Gaunlet for an exclusive Lux picture the Warden made. We only could throw Small Stones at Team Valorant to defend ourselves. While they used advanced Weapons and there Powers. We gave up with our lives, but then i had an amazing idea!

I stricked Double Hat Jonny 8 Times with a Rock . Music starts to soundly turn on. Ezrael slowy starts to float up in the air. A bright light surrounds him. His appearance starts to change. Ezrael started to lvl up. Everything went according to my plan. I only had to Strike Double Hat Jonny 8 Times for that. Ezrael finally finished the Transformation . He had a new Outfit and his Gauntlet reappread on his Armor. Filled with enough energy to destroy a whole Nexus with 3 Puffcaps. He looked deep into my eyes. I looked even deeper back. We didnt need to exchange a single word. Our Cell Mate that we uild up over months was deep. Ezrael started to concentrate an enormous amount of energy into his Glove. Every one of the Valorant Gang started to fear for there life. The Viewers started to flew out of the Arena, the Warden swallowed out of panic other Mint-Bonbon. BOOM!!

The Whole Room got illuminated by a bright exploding Light blinding everyone. After 3 Minutes everyone could use there Eyes again. But , suprisingly nothing happend. No one was harmed. Also Ezrael dissapeared. Well looks like that Ass just teleported out of Prison into Freedom…..

Now it was only the two of us. Suddenly Big Hat Jonny remembered that everyone in the Valorant Gang ( including his Brothers) was in debt with him. Jonny and the Valorant aggred that they give up when he would forget the debt. Well that was an easy win. This Game is boring..











For the next Report

Thank you for reading this Weeks Puffcap Report. Expect a new Report now every week.

You can join the new PuffCap Club Discord to discuss my Article or insult me under https://discord.gg/qBR6rVf



Till the next Report ❤

