A father was very upset after the council covered his son's headstone without notifying him.

A father felt "pain that broke me" after his son's gravestone featuring an expletive was covered by the Palmerston North City Council without any warning or explanation.

Vincent Drummond-Paulo's headstone in the Kelvin Grove Cemetery was inscribed with a song lyric that contained a swear word and after a complaint from another cemetery user the council covered it.

Vincent died on December 28, 2014, and his father Raymond Paulo said his headstone was unveiled on August 19, 2015 – the day that would have been his 20th birthday.

WARWICK SMITH/FAIRFAX NZ Vincent Drummond-Paulo's aunt, Michelle Rongokea, left, and mother, Jeanna Scott, are upset his headstone was covered over at Kelvin Grove Cemetery, Palmerston North.

The back of the headstone contained Vincent's gamer name, reaper91xx and song titles Black, For Whom The Bell Tolls, Sickman, Do I Wanna Know, and I Don't F**k With You.

The last song was included because of a special memory Vincent had with his mum Jeanna Scott.

Paulo said no questions had been asked when they requested the headstone.

However, when Vincent's aunty Michelle Rongokea went to visit the gravesite in September she discovered the back of the headstone had been covered.

Paulo said he "felt a hurt and pain that broke me".

"I thought of the morning seeing my dead son's body.

"We were healing as we now had a place to remember Vincent, but PNCC management didn't think of our grief."

He discovered the headstone had been covered on September 14, attempted to contact the council and on September 16 was contacted by a staff member, only for him to then go on leave.

"So no, [I'm] not happy."

Paulo had worked at the city council for 10 years prior to moving to Australia and said he was hurt this was how he was being treated.

Vincent's mother Jeanna Scott said she was not aware the cover was up until Paulo messaged her asking her to go and take it off.

"It's our memory to our son and what's on the back of it is just what he was. I [didn't] think it was hurtful to anyone."

Scott said if there was a problem with what they had requested, they would have been fine to make changes when they submitted the design.

Now, they didn't think it was fair.

"If they didn't want it on there why would they approve it in the first place."

City council parks and property manager John Brenkley said a concern was raised about the inscription on the gravestone by the family whose grave was facing towards it.

"They were deeply unhappy."

He said the widow of the man who had died was coming to visit and the family had asked if a temporary coating could be put on the back of the headstone for her visit so she was not upset.

The cover had been up for one week and was then removed and the council was working with both families on the matter.

"We apologise for any distress.

"We are talking with both families to resolve the issue.

"The details are still being worked through but if any changes are made to the inscription, they will be done at council expense," Brenkley said.

The headstone had been approved by council staff.

Currently, when applying for a headstone, it had to meet height and width restrictions.

It had to be constructed of granite or some other naturally occurring stone approved by the council, and the plan and/or wording and graphics had to be acceptable to the council.

Rongokea said when she discovered the headstone was covered she was too afraid to take it off as council staff were at the cemetery and she wasn't sure what the outcome would be.

She felt the headstone was a great representation of Vincent as it was unique.

"That's him, that's something he would want done because no-one else had the back of their headstone done."

Vincent's brother Tianau Tipu-Paulo, 14, said with his other brother Clayton Drummond-Paulo and dad they designed the back of the headstone.

"I think Vincent would love it; it means something really great to him and us."

He said he felt "mad" about what had happened.

"If you're going to approve it, why would you come back and cover it up?"

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