Olympia, WA — As a participant in the protests against COVID related stay-at-home orders, conservative Tyler Loftis held a “Live Free or Die” sign to show his excitement to do both.

“Governor Jay Inslee is infringing on our god given right to move freely, catch a devastating virus and die separated from our loved ones,” said Loftis to reporters at the Washington State Capitol rally. “We have to protest this, even to our last breath. So probably until next Tuesday or so.”

Anti-lockdown demonstrations have spread across the country as far-right groups, libertarians and anti-vaxxers take umbrage with the government stopping them from vital parts of daily life like getting a haircut or sitting in a Starbucks, slowly drinking a coffee while milking the free wifi for all it’s worth. With infection rates beginning to slow in several states, protesters see now as a critical moment to take to the streets and catch COVID-19 before it’s too late.

“We won’t have this chance again, to fight for our freedom while also catching coronavirus,” said Loftis, before paraphrasing a John Adams quote: “There is no question whatsoever that the defence of liberty means risking all hazards, including a contagious virus that will kill thousands and also devastate the economy.”

“Those Democrats don’t want us dying by the thousands. And we’re not going to let them have their way!”

Loftis was also joined by his friend Nora Bowman, who carried a sign with the statement “Give Me Liberty And Give Me COVID.”

“I’d be happy with either,” she explained. “The government can lift restrictions on businesses so I can go out and catch the virus myself, or if it’s easier they can send me a petri dish to lick. What’s important is that we draw this pandemic out for as long as possible.”

Health officials have urged citizens not to see pandemic response strategies as partisan, but also stated that if far-right groups are going to risk exposure by meeting in large crowds without wearing masks, they should really pack as many gun-rights nuts in there as they can.