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We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, andwe're taking the other Blue States with us.In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington,Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. Webelieve this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especiallyto the people of the new country of New California.To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get ElliotSpitzer. You get Ken Lay.We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. Youget Alabama.We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red statespay their fair share.Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than theChristian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get abunch of single moms.Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice andanti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq atonce. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They havekids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for nopurpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of theirchildren's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, andhope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend ourresources in Bush's Quagmire.With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percentof the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineappleand lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent ofAmerica's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, mostof the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias andcondors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health carecosts), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of thetornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all SouthernBaptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah wasactually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacredunless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent saythat evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involvedin 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are peoplewith higher morals then we lefties.By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirtweed they grow in Mexico.Peace out,Blue States