You can tell it's going to be a cold paddle when--



...your Black Lab won't even take a swim.



...you use a snow machine to run your shuttle.



...that pesky Nuclear Winter just won't go away.



...you go boating in Alaska!



...you have to scrape the blue running wax off the bottom of your boat and replace it with a thin coat of green.



...you wake in the morning and find your wetsuit "freeze dried" from yesterday's paddle.



...the rain freezes on the tube of the raft next to you.



...when you have to use your paddle like ski poles to move the boat over the ice.



...you need an icepick to bail your boat.



...when the Fairbanks, AK boaters go home.



...they put a St. Bernard in the safety kit.

