7/27/2012

Today, my thrall approached me while I was working on some calculations on my ship. After the loss of the contained particles in the QEC, the hope of contacting my people through tradition means was made impossible, and so I was looking for a way to adapt non-essential systems toward the purpose of communicating with the Reticuli High Council. It would take time, and effort, but with my keen intellect, it was most certainly not impossible.



He interrupted my thought process, tossing a rectangular on the work table.



"What is this oblong shape you have interrupted me with, Thrall?" I asked.



"Dude. You've got mail. Just open it," he replied, then walked out of the room.



My thrall had been rather snippy lately. I made a mental note to devote more time to his training, and then turned my attention to the peculiar rectangle 'mail' before me. I picked it up, and immediately recognized the human writing on the front. It was my name! A message? For me? I held the hope that it was my people. I had heard of agents being on the planet before. Perhaps one of them had sought me out! Perhaps they had a working communications device! I ripped open the top of the paper and pulled out the contents within.



No, this was not my people. I read the letter. It spoke of the history of what humans refer to as 'Greek food' and how it spread to this continent. It was very informative, and would serve as an excellent addition to my gathered intelligence. However, further into the letter came an invitation. An invitation! Finally these humans understand! They now wish me to bestow my presence upon them! A foolish species they may be, but a species that recognizes how to revere their genetic superiors!



"Thrall!" I called to the next room. "Fetch the automobile! We go now to Opa of Greece!"



There were three coordinates inked onto the letter I had received, and my thrall suggested we choose the closest to us. It was in a large consumer product dispensary building that my thrall called 'Mayfair Mall.' More importantly, in the large dome-like area dedicated to feeding the humans who propagated this place.



We walked through the stench of humans and approached a large sign that proudly declared it to be 'Opa! of Greece.'



I immediately approached the female service drone at the counter and addressed her.



"It is I! Marty!" I proclaimed.



She stared at me. She may have blinked once or twice. Poor little thing. She was in awe of me.



But I was not in the mood for human adoration. I was curious.



"Tell me, service drone! What foods do you serve here?"



To her credit, the service drone managed to cease her adoration quickly and focus instead on my service. Impressive. She outlined the items on the menu, explaining them to me. She told me about the salads. The gyros. The kalamari.



"Kalamari?" I repeated. The term was quickly translated by Oracle. Squid. Cephalopod.



I gasped in shock. Cephalopods? Humans eat CEPHALOPODS? Reticulans are 18% cephalopod! It was a travesty. Suddenly, I realized these humans were far more devious than I was giving them credit for. Cephalopods. When the invasion force arrives, that is the first thing that would stop. Disgusting, humans. Would you eat a neotenous little primate? No!



I soon realized I was taking too long to answer. Finally, I opted for the most attractive-sounding of the meals offered. A gyro. I ordered one, with a side of french fries and tzatziki sauce.



A delightful display then appeared before me. The female service drone relayed my order to the two male service drones around the food preparation units. They engaged in a dance, whereupon they seamlessly worked together frying the meat, preparing the vegetables and forming it into the soft bread shell. It was an interesting display, to watch my future meal be prepared for me. I must admit, I found it somewhat exhilarating.



The food prepared, I sat to enjoy it. I first consumed the gyro. It was warm and flavorful, the tzatziki sauce offering the perfect balance between the robust flavor of the gyro, and the crisp, leafy green vegetable crunching with each bite.. I hungrily forced it back, and then turned my attention to the fries.



The first thing I noticed about them were that they were more textured than fries I had sampled elsewhere. They were seasoned. It was subtle, but helped to shift the flavor to make the taste of the naked fry stand out. And then, dipped in the side of tzataziki sauce! It was almost TOO flavorable! I hungrily consumed the rest of the fries.



Wonderful!



"Thrall!" I announced. "Remind me to mark Opa! of Greece as a necessary commodity for when my people invade!"



In closing, I would like to say that Opa! of Greece has both an excellent training regiment for their drones, service AND clerical. I found their food quite enjoyable, and it is an establishment I would visit again in the future. The food was tasty, infused with life-sustaining nutrients and satisfactorily filling. 4.5/5.