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With yet another bleaching event devastating the Great Barrier Reef, and North Africa forced into civil conflicts over catastrophic drought – Australia’s post-war baby boomers say that Climate Change is something they will continue to deny if it means they will have to make some sort of compromise.

Former ex-Government-car retailer John Myles (69) says that it’s so typical of the millennials to blame them for tearing the earth apart for untaxed mineral resources, a short-term industrial sugar-hit which also ‘apparently’ leads to climate change.

“It’s very typical of these lazy younger generations to just pull the pin on booming industries because it looks like hard work. Climate Change was a myth made up by Gen-Y because they didn’t want to get real jobs”

“Back in my day, endless lead-based smoke stacks were a sign of progress!”

John’s wife, Marie (68) who has never worked a day since she got married in the sixties, says that she’s been around long enough to know that the weather varies – and it’s got nothing to do with her.

“These kids just want to complain about everything. The same goes with these so-called ‘experts’ who keep banging on about fossil fuels”

“I’m sorry, but I’m 68 and I shouldn’t have to start looking for an electric car because of some stupid coral up north”

This particular generation – also known as ‘The Baby Boomers’ – have been heavily criticised over the last thirty years for their inability to look past their own retirement, which many of them believe should have been the day they turned 55. However, despite their sense of entitlement, many refuse to leave their high-powered positions in the corporate sector and free up the crowded housing market by retiring to the coast or country.

When questioned about their generation’s disastrous track record of destroying the environment, declaring unnecessary wars and warehousing poor people inside prisons – both Marie and John refuse to believe that they are at fault.

“Everyone’s got a chip on their shoulder. All these refugees throw their hands up because life is too hard and wanna come here to bludge on welfare…” says Mary who has been a stay-at-home housewife since her first child was born in 1970

“We never had it easy!” says John, who bought his first house on wages saved from a paper-route when Aboriginal people were still considered flora and fauna by Australian law.

“If you brats want to waste your time on saving the thousands of rare species and organisms that call The Great Barrier Reef home, go ahead. But leave us out of it. It’s got nothing to do with us”

“I am a caucasian post-war Australian. I have never made a compromise in my entire life and I’m not going to start now!”