The population of Pakistan threatens to cross 190 million by July 2012, and women stand to make up roughly 47% of that number. The whole country is in a vulnerable situation, held hostage between its western allies waging war on its turf, and trigger-happy extremists who demand the foreign invaders leave them alone. But while they attempt a three-person tango, there are more pressing problems on the ground. According to the United Nations Development Programme, 22.6% of the population lives below the international poverty line, lation lives below the international poverty line, on less than $1.25 PPP per day. These may have been the conditions in Pakistan since before 2001, but there has been no chance of improvement since then.

Security of person, equality in dignity and a few other "inalienable" rights that the UN declared all humans should have irrespective of sex are for the privileged few in Pakistan; and even then, mostly for men. The Human Rights Commission of Pakistan recently published its annual report, State of Human Rights in 2011. Let's just take a quick look at how women fared in the country.

About 120,000 pregnant women were left without adequate nourishment and sanitary conditions after the devastating floods in 2010. About 8.2 million women are reportedly employed as unregistered domestic help, without the cover of even the flimsiest of labour laws. There were 943 women (93 minors) reportedly killed over family honour – often for wanting to marry someone of their own choice – with many of these crimes perpetrated by their brothers, fathers, husbands or relatives of their husbands.

There were 38 documented cases of acid attacks on women, 47 were set on fire and nine suffered disfiguring amputation as punishment. There were 396 rape and murders reported. None of these figures account for the thousands of women who were strangled into silence by the horrors that follow an admission, or whom the police were unwilling to help, brushing it off as "a family matter". Worse yet, also missing from the figures were the silent majority who were raised to accept the physical or psychological abuse, as part of the compromise women make to be the dutiful wives and daughters who glue society together.

It's the underprivileged, illiterate women struggling to make ends meet who are the brave ones; they step into a man's world every day, at risk of being sexually harassed on their daily travels, in overcrowded buses or at work. Anything that allows these women to provide for the many children they are forced to have, or to save to educate their little boys and girls, they will do. They work 12 hour days as undocumented domestic help, often working for Cinderella's stepmother; think less Disney and more Brothers Grimm. For rural women, it's the fields, where they can be trapped in bonded labour or work for a pittance and some produce.

A landmark domestic violence bill, introduced in 2009 to protect women and children, is facing serious opposition in its passage through parliament from those who argue that it promotes western values and has been backed by western funding. According to a former senator, passing this bill on a divided vote in parliament will potentially disrupt another delicate balance: reaching political consensus on the restoration of the Nato supply lines through Pakistan – another strike on non-participants by the war against terror.

Somewhat surprisingly for outsiders looking in, these struggling women belong to the same country where a woman was twice voted prime minister and currently the youngest member of the cabinet of Pakistan is the female foreign minister – a position roughly parallel to secretary of state for the US. The argument that religious extremes have oppressed Pakistani women isn't a neat preface to these hair-raising horrors.

Pakistan's relationship with its women is rooted in a patriarchal feudal system feeding the country since before it was born. It's an archaic system that has produced the men who run the country, negotiate domestic and foreign policy and penned sexist laws that made it easier for women to slide through the cracks. A lack of accessible education doesn't help either. It's not just one problem. It's living in a system that hasn't been built to accommodate the second sex. It's the buzz words surrounding Pakistan: war, terrorism, extremism, 9/11. They drown out the plight of the millions who truly need a voice.

• This article was commissioned following a suggestion made in a You Tell Us thread. If there's a subject you'd like to see covered by Comment is free, please visit the You Tell Us page