“Over the weekend, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell tripped at his house and broke his shoulder. On the bright side, it’ll be harder for him to shrug off gun control.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Now, there are two bipartisan background check bills that have passed the House but are being blocked by Senate majority leader and this month’s centerfold of Corruption Monthly, Mitch McConnell.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“You can’t put a price on human life, but it doesn’t stop Mitch from trying.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“We’re not going to solve America’s gun problems in half an hour, but we’ll probably do more than Congress.” — TREVOR NOAH

“It’s all well and good to offer thoughts and prayers, but sometimes you need shouts and swears.” — STEPHEN COLBERT