There are times when we are faced with difficult situations. It’s either we cower or grab the bull by the horns. Bullies are difficult situations for anyone whether gay or not. But more so for gays I think. Why? For two reasons: one, being gay is used as an excuse for bullying, and two, there is a prevalent stigma, that gays are weak and won’t take action against any form of bullying. Well, they should think again…

I worked as an I.T. consultant for a company that maintains mission critical applications of some financial institutions in the Philippines and other countries in the Southeast Asian region. There’s this one project where I have to test the exchange of on-line ATM transaction messages between one commercial bank and the switch consortium where the bank is a member of. Coordination is done through phone. When I called up the switch consortium personnel in charge of connecting the lines, he was disrespectful, would not do the things I asked him to do, and conversed with me in a scornful tone. There was laughing in the background and it is obvious that some of his coworkers were talking about me. Mocking me for being gay!

I banged the phone down, headed downstairs, hailed a cab, and went straight to the switch consortium’s head office. I bypassed all their security protocol and went straight to the computer room where this homophobic lousy-excuse-for-a-human-being is stationed. I asked him calmly, “Do you know me?”. He was dumbfounded. I pointed a finger to his face. With eyes wide and burning, I said, “You have no right to do that!”. I went to the office of the vice president for operations and recounted everything. I asked him to reprimand those buffoons. I went back to my office and wrote a formal letter addressed to the vp about the incident. That was the last time I saw those homophobes handling projects.

The workplace is crawling with these kind of people (and at times even worse). Taking a stand against the bullying is important to me. I always tell myself that people can take away everything from me but not my dignity. It felt very dramatic saying this but it is the truth. This, I have decided a long time ago… I’ll always grab the bull by the horns!

How about you? Let me know your stories of how you grabbed the bully by the balls and how you twisted and turned. Let me rephrase. Let me know your stories of how you grabbed the bull by the horns. I’m sure they’re inspiring!