Archived Interview 5260.1

Interviewed: D-919454

Interviewer: Lead Researcher Dr. Liliana Li

Foreword: Shortly after D-919454 encountered SCP-5260-1, all negative effects to previously infected individuals abruptly ceased. The purpose of this interview is to find out what role, if any, D-919454 had in this development. Interview was conducted two days after D-919454 returned from a five-day sick leave.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Li: Hello again, D-919454. How are you sleeping these days?

D-919454: Oh, uh, I'm doing fine, Doctor. Pretty well, actually. Definitely less tired, I think. I've been feeling, well, sort of been feeling my best lately. I mean, if it was just the new quarters, it's been a long time since I've slept in my own room, like a room I could call just my own, and I've lived in places half the size and a tenth as nice, and [Twenty-three seconds of extraneous dialogue redacted for brevity]

Dr. Li: Okay. Anyway, you were having trouble sleeping before you were selected for duty with SCP-5260, correct?

D-919454: …yeah.

Dr. Li: Why was that?

Approximately five seconds of silence.

D-919454: I don't really- I mean, I don't like to… I-I've had help talking about it, a-and some people they think, they've said "oh that's nothing, who cares" but they don't know…

Dr. Li: We can come back to that then, if you would prefer. I do have some other questions.

D-919454: Alright, just, ease into it. It's… [unintelligible] could've been me, still could be… [mumbling]

Dr. Li: Okay. Can you tell me what your dreams are like, since you've been assigned to SCP-5260?

D-919454: Hah! The dreams I've been having, let me tell you, they're worth the price of admission right there. I've been working my damn fingers to the bone 'till they're sore to get just a bit of recognition, oh you know it's hard to stand out when everyone's wearing the same uniform, but I'd hoped if I do what I'm told with a smile and a nod, maybe an old man, even an old man like me can get a bit of an easier job of it. I must've done something right, because goddamn I'm still here, ain't I? And when they told me they had a job, I mean you never know what that's gonna be, every job could be the last, but when they said that I just needed to sleep-

Silence. D-919454 taps on the table.

D-919454: Well, when they told me they'd help me sleep, I mean, I jumped up at the chance.

Dr. Li: I am happy to hear it. What are your dreams like?

D-919454: They’re… I dunno. They’re easy. First couple of nights, when I was assigned, it was easier to, to be where I was. I mean, it was more comfortable, I actually, really slept, and I didn't feel… hmm. I felt different. Just a little better.

Dr. Li: I think this would be much easier if you told me more about the dreams. I know even in your reports you do not like to talk about it, but we really do need to know. I think there's a chance it might even help you.

Silence, until D-919454 sighs.

D-919454: Don’t uh… don’t act surprised, okay? Don’t make that face, the “that’s it?” face. I’ve seen it before, it…

Silence.

D-919454: For most of my life, when I sleep, I dream I’m in a home.

Dr. Li: Whose home?

D-919454: No, no. Not like that. A nursing home.

Dr. Li: A convalescent home? You’ve been dreaming that for decades?

D-919454: That goddamn face, I knew it. You don’t understand, you don’t.

Dr. Li: Uh, my apologies. I do not understand. But I would like to.

D-919454 sighs.

D-919454: Okay, well… someone said it better than I'm about to, but all the cats and dogs and animals of God's kingdom have it better than any man, just because… they don't know they're gonna die.

D-919454 pauses, then drinks some water.

D-919454: Well. I've always known. I used to think I'd grow old then die, but now that I am old, now it's "then die." It was my good old granddad, not great mind you, he told me that I'm young, and that I would never be this young again, so I "damn well better appreciate it, whatever it is, while it's here."

Silence.

D-919454: I was… must've been four? Five? Didn't know I'd die, didn’t understand death. I figured it out when he died pretty soon after that. The only thing I remember of him is that advice, which I… hope I followed. And that, that made me always think, I will be old, or I will be gone. And both options scared the hell outta me. Now that I'm old it's not half as scary, but…

Silence.

Dr. Li: Go on?

D-919454: Ah, you know what it is? It's that no one tells you, or no one can really make you understand just what, what you lose when you get to be my age. You know, it's… terrible. We're all forgotten eventually, right? But most of us are gone before that happens. It's, it's terrible to be forgotten when you're still alive. I mean… a-and that’s what I dream about, always dreamed about. That in that home, I’m old, scared, and forgotten by the world. That’s it.

Dr. Li: I can understand the impact that could have on you. But I would still like clarification how that relates to your trouble sleeping.

D-919454: Still? Really? I’ve spent, I’ve spent almost every sleeping night of my life, just, trapped. I’d be old, I’d be alone, and no one would know it, no one would remember me. And now, hell, now I’m awake and nothing’s changes. I don’t get an escape from that anymore. Now it's my goddamn life. And you need “clarification”? Why I don’t want to live that?

Dr. Li: Sorry, okay. I think I get it. We can move on.

D-919454: Yeah. Sure.

Long silence. Shuffling of papers is audible.

Dr. Li: Okay… You recently applied for and received sick leave, is that correct?

D-919454: I did, yeah. A stint in the med bay. Not a work accident, mind you, I'm careful. Some of the things they've had me around, I mean, I'm still here, ain't I? And this assignment, well it’s just a night job. They still gotta keep me busy in the day. I mean, I’d rather not go into why I took the time, that’s uh, private. But yeah, I did.

Dr. Li: But your dreams were unchanged, the entire time?

D-919454: Unchanged? Well, Betty stopped showing up. Apart from that, it was the same dream. But I’ll tell ya, that did make a big difference. Before, it was-

Dr. Li: Sorry, Betty? As in, short for Beatrice?

D-919454: Yeah, right. [chuckles] She actually hates it when I call her Beatrice. I remember her being glad I was back. She's great, y'know? She's, she's very smart, and she's got such a good heart on her. She's uh… oh, when I got back, she said something that stood out, what was it…

Dr. Li: I have your reports here. Do you remember the date of it, or which dream number it was?

D-919454: Don't think so. I'll help you look, though.

No significant dialogue. Shuffling of papers, small talk, and brief laughter once from both parties.

Dr. Li: You reported she said she "couldn't make the dream any worse" and that "you would understand why."

D-919454: That's it! I mean, she makes dreams worse? Not in my experience. But that bit really stood out to me. It was as bad as it gets? For me, it's like you live so many days in a dream, you sort of get used to it, and mine… it-it's not good but it's not… it's not the worst. Hell, the home is better than some nights I had in my old cold cell, you know, when I was young, before it was… before it became my life. I did have people in my life still, then, back then. But my dreams, the place I'm in, the hard part isn't, isn't the place, it's… the people.

Silence.

D-919454: It's the people that don't come.

Scribbling on paper is audible.

Dr. Li: Okay… so you have been able to communicate with SCP, um, Beatrice. What do you talk about?

D-919454: Oh, we just talk, nothing out of the ordinary. A bit about our lives, jobs we've had, how we got there. More than anything though, we keep each other company. Sometimes we walk around the grounds, sometimes we sit and eat, oh! Sometimes we’ve actually managed to sneak out! Imagine that!

Dr. Li: And you have not experienced anything unusual when waking?

D-919454: Well I feel as though I’ve slept twelve hours, and let me tell you, that is pretty damn unusual.

Dr. Li: I am glad to hear it. But apart from that, nothing particularly notable on waking. Okay. And you're sure you talk about nothing out of the ordinary?

D-919454: Well, I mean… she’s mentioned other people, you know? Other people she’s met. Apparently she's gotten quite a few visitors. I, uh, don't know if it's all true? She said recently a guy she'd rescued from being trapped smack in the middle of the ocean, and she said she got him to visit pretty regularly. I don’t know if you know this, but um, I think she tries to get them to come back.

Dr. Li: Did she mention anything about if they stopped coming back?

D-919454: I… don’t think so. Why?

Dr. Li: Oh, just curious. Covering all the bases.

D-919454 She-she did mention that there was a time, a long time ago, for years, where just no one came, when no one cared. Can't make no one come back, I guess. But not a visitor, not a friend. She uh… said she'd felt beyond abandoned. Actually, maybe that's why she said my dream was the worst thing, just the worst thing. And… I mean, I never even had it that bad in prison. I dunno.

Rapid scribbling from Dr. Li.

D-919454: When you, uh, get to a certain point… If you were someone like her, who had a lot to offer, but couldn't… might go a little nutty. I went a little nutty, a while back, when I was in that kind of situation. That nothingness. And I acted out. Bad. And uh… now I'm here. I dunno. Maybe she did too. I'd dreamed it, she's lived it. If I were her, with that active mind and heart, and I felt "beyond abandoned?"

Scribbling.

D-919454 Might want to do something big to get a bit of company.

Long silence, apart from more scribbling.

D-919454: [cough] Sorry, got carried away. Well, I've been getting carried away. [sniff] Whatever it is, I'm just glad, I am so glad, that we can visit each other.

Dr. Li: Okay… I think that clears up some matters. And you are on rotation for… another two months, is that correct?

D-919454 Seven weeks, two days.

Dr. Li Alright, this has been very helpful. As for your request, I will make no promises. It depends on what happens with time.

Laughter from D-919454

D-919454: A man can dream, eh? Eh?

Dr. Li: ████, thank you for your time.

<End Log>