Joseph is not a good person; congratulations we've been played~

no.jpg: Originally posted by

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Recalling The Dates~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

~-~Date 1~-~

~-~Date 2~-~

~-~Date 3~-~

~-~Good Ending Vs Bad Ending Literally Spells It Out For Us~-~

I was going to post in the other topic, but think this might be more open for discussion and would grab more attention. It's something that needs to be addressed. And it turned super lengthy and almost ranty since I've been slowly writing it over the past few days (whenever I was super bored). Let's get right to it. We all love Joseph, right? Felix Torrez, my Dadsona, sure did.Recall this: "Saying exactly what somebody wants to hear until they kiss you is what a sociopath does." Yes. It is.Oh, but not you, Felix. Not you, Dadsonas. It's one particular Daddy.Incoming long explanation. The TL;DR is at the very end with the Good End Vs Bad End header.It would be awful if that's all that was really going on and Joseph was "trapped"... Except he's not the one that's trapped. Mary is. So you could say they are breaking the mold by flipping the script.Mary is dependent on Joseph. What does she do? She hangs out with Robert (drinking), hangs out with Damien (volunteering), she's home during the day "getting drunk" (watching the kids). As a person she's pretty abrasive, but really the perfect example of a Jerk With A Heart Of Gold between her actual actions and her dark/dirty humor.Who is Joseph? Kids like him. Adults like him. He's a beloved minister. He's basically an equal to Craig in terms of how much people like him. Joseph is just smarter, more religious, and OFF LIMITS. He's a minister in a fairly relaxed town, so he's not bound to any of the same scrutiny a strict religious man would be bound to. The fact he has a yacht proves that, really. (Whether he was born into richness, siphoned funds from the church, or married into richness is not specified, IIRC.)How do people see Mary? The same way our Dadsonas see her during Joseph's route and only during Joseph's route. A shrewd woman with a wicked sense of humor. If Joseph divorced her, people would probably sing "Ding dong the witch is dead/gone!" Before quickly trying to get into Joseph's heart and/or pants.ALLEGEDLY! Joseph says the reason he can't date you is because people see Mary and Joseph as a pillar of the community. He mentions this during both endings.Joseph was the most inviting and most charismatic of the dads you meet. You had to message him asap. Whether Joseph planned for you to do it during the bake sale or not is up for debate (with little evidence to prove it either way). Unless the bake sale was going on for a full week, then you would've answered him during the bake sale anyway. In the end, he could've just asked you over to bake either way - so either way he wins. During the "date" the first room of Joseph's house brings up something. Turn your attention to the mantle, the old timey ship steering wheel. It's nothing out of the ordinary, especially for a seaman (JAJAJAJA) like Joseph. However it has meaning to Robert Small, who has it tattooed on his hand. Maybe it reminded Robert of something that was once good but now is a reminder of why not to fall in love? (OOPS, HIT THAT TOO HARD ON THE HEAD TOO SOON, LET'S DIAL IT BACK.)So Joseph invites you in the kitchen to bake, he shows how much of an awesome dad he is, then he takes you over to the bake sale to show you just how much people love him. He lets you help sell the brownies.Joseph says.you say.Joseph smiles.you say.So you get called in to chaperon.You're greeted with a banner Ernest allegedly did. Except nobody is around when you get there. And Ernest doesn't seem exactly like the helping type, now does he? Eh. Whatever.Well, either way, regardless of how it happened, Joseph enlists your help once again. You are here to save the day, once again. And once again (if you aren't a total dunce), you save the day. Wow, you're Joseph's hero... Once again. It's hard to tell if the DJ mishap was a planned problem or just a spontaneous one. Probably spontaneous since you both simultaneously fix that little hiccup. Or maybe he hired that particular lump of sadness because he knew something would go wrong? Well, whatever the case may be, Joseph can chalk it up as a win either way. All he does is win, win, no matter what. Got ♥♥♥♥ on his mind, he apparently can't get enough.Joseph now needs the kids to be totally distracted. So he enlists your help... Once again! You both have fun and now the kids are distracted.Now... *presses play on the CD player* Wow. We are just SO charmed by this hunk by now, huh? And he makes a good margarita apparently, so, like, that meets most of our requirements for dating a hot dude. Lastly, he even makes a subtle brag of being super charismatic and a good leader with a flair for the dramatic.says Joseph. Just to demonstrate his flair for the dramatic also includes throwing great (literal) pity parties. That allegedly includes you as a guest of honor too. Except if you knew any better, you'd know Joseph only cares about gettin' some of dat booty.you say. Stupidly. If you had a sassy and fierce friend in the game, they would've slapped the ♥♥♥♥ out of you, for your own well-being. ( Anyway, that's the role I'm serving right now. So *slaps the ever loving ♥♥♥♥ out of y'all* I do that with love. This is where the biggest evidence is found. So I will break it down by numbers.1) How would Robert know about the yacht? Because that's where Joseph took Robert and pulled the same exact stunt.He was waiting there for you because he didn't want you to fall for the same trap. But then you back up Joseph, which basically means you were OK with ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ a married man. YOU'RE AWFUL BUT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU'RE AWFUL! Because you are being tricked.2) Why would Robert show up or care? Sure he's Mary's friend. However, there's a reason Robert has a tattoo as a reminder of Joseph of his hand. Tattoos are pretty permanent, ey? Why would someone get one? Oh. Maybe. They. Like. Actually liked the person it reminds them of? Yes. Once upon a time. Joseph might have too, because he might strictly be gay and just with Mary for other reasons. That's why Joseph keeps Robert's old sweater around his neck. Or, more sinister thinking, he's wearing it as a trophy of his conquest.Mary would know who's sweater that is. Mary probably knows exactly what happened. Yet she's friends with Robert. She probably feels sorry for Robert at the end of it all. Now both of them are in the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Over By Joseph Club and they don't want any new members. For kind reasons, I assure you.3) How does Joseph react? Well, Robert frazzled you and that works in Joseph's favor. Maybe he anticipated it, maybe he didn't. Mary told you her side of the story way earlier, but you are still drawn to Joseph. I mean, a charming guy like that would be very hard to NOT be drawn to, right? All those "terrible people" must be wrong.you stupidly follow along. Still.4) The boat runs out of gas. The tank must've been running low before Joseph set sail.You say as you throw random garbage into the radio. You turn the power on and it works. Of course, it seems like from our perspective it's a giant funny moment or joke. Except, from Joseph's point of view, it's just another trick that makes it seem like he needs Dadsona once again.you say.5) Then he has even more tricks up his sleeve. Whether it's preying on your weakness at this point or totally planned is up for debate. Either way, he wins. Again.you say.6) So you snoop around down below and find that everything you thought - what Joseph lead you to believe - must be true. The evidence is just there to see, so clearly. Just a playboy den (which Dadsona even notices) that's covered with pity party decorations. So Joseph has you hot and bothered as well as having pity brownie points on his side. He has won. he's getting you no matter what. Don't worry, I was fooled too until I purposefully got the bad ending. Then I felt better about the good ending since it really is the best ending for Dadsona. Joseph is literally hot human garbaje.7) Lastly, you go up, and one event leads to another until you consent (which is the nicest thing Joseph has actually done). He takes you and forces himself all up in your business. Which you happily take, because IT'S JOSEPH. And you also consented, so yeah, OK.OH GEE! UM! I can't date you because my wife and I are pillars of the community. So. Like. Sorry. (You weren't a good lay anyway. So. Like. Whatever~ Now to find my next target. Maybe Hugo? lol);-;(Wow, you were such a good ♥♥♥♥) Imma kiss you up a bit and fool around with you. Oh, but, like, I can't be with you. I have to stay with Mary because she's my shield. I MEAN! Um, the community sees us as a power couple and we're the pillar of the community and we have kids and blahblahblah. But we can always have Margarita Zone fun on the yacht or in my office or even at a motel. Whatever and wherever I want! I mean, wherever you want! ;)B-but!And now Dadsona enters the wonderful ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Over By Joseph Club since he is smart enough to know he was actually ♥♥♥♥♥♥ over.(The bad ending with Joseph is secretly another good ending - since it's Joseph.)