The government is attempting to come to the rescue of starving children shunning their healthier new school lunches. In remarks at the U.S. Department of Agriculture Friday, First Lady Michelle Obama revealed that the bureaucracy is churning up some new recipes.

The Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act, I believe that that legislation is truly one of the greatest legacies that we can leave our children. Because of this Act . . . 32 million American children are getting more of the nutrition they need to learn and grow and be successful. And I do hope that it’s delicious. We’re working on that, yes indeed.

Since the new food guidelines were implemented, there have been widespread stories suggesting tons of broccoli, carrots and asparagus are being dumped in trash cans throughout the nation as kids choose empty stomachs over ones filled with food they don’t like. Other students are forcing themselves to eat lunch but find they lack energy later in the day because the portions aren’t big enough or don’t have enough calories.

I’m not sure, though, how this stuff is going to get tastier without becoming less healthy. There are two ways I know of to make things taste better:

1. Add fat

2. Add sugar

Both of these substances are well known contributors to rounded waistlines.

Good luck Michelle. I do admire that you are trying to get our children to eat better. Many of them these days are . . . well, how else to say it?

They’re fat.

But once you start creating mandates and throwing federal one-size-fits-all government solutions at the problem, things can only get worse, even if the intentions are good.

Somebody, please, help these poor children.