When just hearing about Bitcoin.

1. So, are you like a billionaire now with all your bitcoins?

No I’m not. But if I were would it be a good idea for me to tell you?





2. I heard you can buy assassins with bitcoins. Is that right?

Yup. You better hang out with me today…. or else.





3. Can’t you see? It’s a pyramid scheme / scam / bubble!

Who cares? Real people are using bitcoins. Charities are getting donations. Oppressed people can transfer their money.





4. So… have you ever bought anything illegal with bitcoin?

No. Jail is bad for my health.







5. Where are bitcoins made?

via GIPHY

Mommy, where are bitcoins made? In cryptographic hash function mining pools which correctly hash the transactions in the last ten minutes plus a nonce plus the previous hash of the blockchain? Okay.





6. Wait. So why can’t you just use PayPal?

Because I love to use the incompetent, probing, tyrannical website that is PayPal.



When getting more interested in Bitcoin

7. This is stupid. Why can’t I just use a credit card to buy these coins?

Uh yeah… I’m still not sure why nobody’s figured this out yet.





8. I just bought coffee with my bitcoins! Who’s a bitcoin expert now??

Try buying a coffee with bitcoin from somebody who hasn’t heard of bitcoin and report back to me.





9. What’s a paper wallet?

HAX0RS EAT WEB BASED WALLETS FOR BREAKFAST. AIR GAPS FTW.





10. What’s a Satoshi Nakamoto?

The government? A team of humble coders? Some japanese guy who’s now a jabillionaire?





11. Let’s start a mining pool together and get rich!

Yeah…. good luck with that. Might as well go mine real gold on our own.





12. Should I invest my life savings into Bitcoin?

How about no.



After becoming a weather-hardened Bitcoin expert.

13. To the moon!

I am a big investor in the Bitcoin Aeronautics and Space Administration.





14. I’m done with bitcoins. Have you heard of Dogecoin?

Such inflation. Much promise. Very scrypt.

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