Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

I say “hi” four times so each of you get your own greeting. Everyone deserves their own “hi.” That’s why in an ACT government, we’ll be promoting our Legal Hi Bill. Everyone deserves a legal hi.

Over the past four years, many New Zealanders have asked me why I chose to be elected as a one-person party. I’ll tell you why.

It’s because you can’t be tripped up if there’s no one there to trip you up.

Unless you’re dancing. Very easy to trip up if you’re dancing.

This week, we’ve seen the danger of political parties with more than one MP. If they’re not calling you corrupt, you’re calling them f-word-ing useless. And it’s just not very nice.

When I started ACTing, I said to myself, “David, you’re in ACT now. Have a treat.”

After I finished my Pixie Caramel, I said to myself, “David, you’re in ACT now. What’s most libertarian in life?”

Getting your own way, of course. And what’s the best way to get your own way? Being the only person there.

Being the only MP, it’s my choice whether we go with Chinese or Indian. I get to eat whatever lunch I like.

It takes two to tango but it only takes one to avoid paying for someone else.

So where to next? As long as I’m in charge, you can be guaranteed that ACT will never have more than one MP.

In fact, why should any party have more than one MP? No more in-fighting. No more pointless debates.

Let’s just start a Parliament of 120 one-person parties. Imagine how much we could get done.

Or better yet, a Parliament with just one one-person party. Think about it. If we had just one person making all the decisions, then nobody could tell me what to do.

I could even buy another MP.