Oh, with all this hatred and schedenfreude for ole Florida, we almost forgot about our old pals at Duke University, where the "mystique" is thick as the cheerleader's love handles.

And before you call me classless for writing that, I call you stupid for not realizing already how small, petty and classless I am!

To keep it brief, a famous e-mail exchange from a then-departing Elton Brand to a haughty Duke student enraged at his deciding to forgoe the "Duke Experience" for the "I Can Buy Your Mom's House And Burn It Down If I Want To Experience."

According to Scoop Jackson, probably the only time I'll ever quote him, Brand has admitted to this response, which is a smart thing to do, because his Q Rating just went through the roof!

Enjoy!

From: Taylor, Jennifer

Sent: Friday, April 16, 1999 2:55 PM

To: Brand, Elton

Subject: Leaving Duke

I graduated from Duke last May and just wanted to express my disgust for your decision to leave the Duke program after only two years. As an alum, not only do I hold the school in high regard, but the basketball program as well, especially since both have deservedly garnered such a great deal of respect for their accomplishments.

As part of our basketball program, you represent Duke as a whole. We are first and foremost an academic school, you clearly did not belong at Duke in the first place if this was the extent of your commitment to Duke and a college education in general. You have not only insulted the current students who are putting in four years at a school they love, but also the thousands of alumni who have realized the value of a Duke education and what an honor and privilege it was to be there for four years.

If you do not realize the opportunity you has infront of you to play for Coach K and at the same time attain a Duke diploma, then that is certainly your loss. I just wish that you has spared us the notion that you were continuing in the tradition of being a Duke student-athlete, in emphasizing excellence in both academics and athletics. You will not be considered part of the Duke family, in my mind as well as many others. You have by no means proved yourself worthy of that title.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Taylor

From: Elton Tyron Brand

Sent: Sunday, April 25, 1999 8:05 PM

To: Taylor, Jennifer

Subject: Re: Leaving Duke

Thank you very much, for reminding me of the reason why I left Duke. People like you can not and will not ever understand my situation. I'm sure daddy worked very hard to send your rich self to college. While real people struggle. I would also like to extend an invitation for you not to waste your or my time ever agin. Never being considered a part of your posh group of yuppies really hurts me to the heart. Yeah, right. Because I don't care about you or your alumni.

Sincerely,

Elton Brand #42 NBA