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The managers are (mostly) prepared, the players are (supposedly) ready and football fans across the globe are (almost definitely) quivering with excitement.

Forget the last three months of hellish boredom: the Premier League is finally back.

The 2015/16 season kicks off this weekend, and will no doubt include a whole load of incidents and moments we could not possibly predict.

But there are also plenty of certainties. Take the 50 things you can see below, which we guarantee you will see between now and May…

Raheem Sterling will be booed - everywhere.

(Image: Dave Thompson)

Manuel Pellegrini will somehow maintain that dignified smile, even when he is asked the the 756th question about Pep Guardiola potentially replacing him.

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Brendan Rodgers will celebrate a goal by standing dead still and thrusting one hand in the air… as will Roberto Martinez (it's clearly a Merseyside thing).

(Image: Sky Sports)

A manager of a top four club will be asked around February whether his side can do the quadruple. He will coyly say "nothing is impossible". They will not do the quadruple.

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Heurelho Gomes will pull off twenty stunning saves to deny Spurs points at Vicarage Road. He'll accidentally throw the ball into his own net in every other game of the season.

(Image: Justin Setterfield/Getty Images)

At least one Chelsea fan will hold up an A4 sheet of paper saying that Petr Cech is a traitor.

(Image: Andrew Matthews/PA Wire)

We'll hear BBC stalwart Gary Lineker say the words "We'll be back right after this break" on BT Sport - and it will sound really weird.

Commentary for every Liverpool game will contain a reference to Gerrard watching from America.

Sylvain Distin will look very, very old.

(Image: Stu Forster)

Arsenal fans will boo Emmanuel Adebayor and Samir Nasri - but not Gael Clichy. What's that all about?

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West Ham fans will boo a functional 1-0 home win.

(Image: Action Images)

Steve McClaren will claim that Cheick Tiote is ‘just not that sort of player’ after a career ending tackle on an Arsenal midfielder.

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Arsene Wenger will claim that his side 'lacked a little bit physicality' after losing away to Stoke.

(Image: Stuart MacFarlane)

Every pundit will call Garry Monk 'the most underrated manager in the Premier League'. Garry Monk will pretend he doesn't care (he does).

(Image: Paul Thomas)

Jose Mourinho will claim that Chelsea players don't dive, prior to five of his players being booked for simulation in a single match.

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Alan Pardew will make a point of looking as handsome as possible.

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Someone will claim that Norwich's Cameron Jerome is too good for the Championship but not quite good enough for the Premier League.

(Image: Tom Dulat)

West Brom/Stoke/Sunderland fans will express their outrage that Match of the Day has their game on last.

Arsenal fans will start a campaign to get rid of Arsene Wenger, only to hail him as the Premier League’s greatest manager after they win the League Cup.

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Watford, struggling come January, will loan a full squad of players from Udinese. People will complain.

(Image: PA)

The manager of each of the top four clubs will explain how the Britannia ‘is not an easy place to come’.

(Image: Getty)

Southampton's four best players will sign pre-contract agreements with Tottenham or Liverpool in April.

(Image: Alex Livesey)

Ronald Koeman will sign four unknown Dutch players in May - who will all turn out to be brilliant.

(Image: Getty)

On Transfer Deadline Day, Jim White will almost explode with excitement at the news Norwich have signed Kevin Nolan.

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Jamie Redknapp will run out of superlatives for Sergio Aguero - and offer us more gems like this:

Lee Cattermole will be booked.

(Image: Action Images)

Injury time at Old Trafford will be ironically labelled ‘LVG time’ as soon as United get a late goal.

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Mauricio Pochettino will claim that Spurs just need a bit more time to get used to his high-pressing style.

Tony Pulis will never be seen without a cap on.

(Image: Ben Hoskins)

There will be a Premier League pitch invasion that's described as hooliganism. A week later there will be a Championship pitch invasion that's described as "a joyous scene".

(Image: Jamie McDonald)

Leighton Baines will look like a bent 70s policeman.

(Image: Laurence Griffiths)

Cameras will pan to Mike Ashley looking grumpy every time Newcastle concede. So quite a lot.

(Image: Stu Forster)

There will be a fan protest at Newcastle.

(Image: Getty)

Diego Costa will suffer a hamstring injury. More than once.

(Image: Ian Walton)

Sergio Aguero will suffer a hamstring injury. More than once.

(Image: Laurence Griffiths)

Gary Neville will label Eddie Howe’s Bournemouth a ‘breath of fresh air’.

(Image: Daniel Kopatsch)

Harry Redknapp will claim he once tried to sign Memphis Depay while he was Tottenham manager.

(Image: Ian Walton)

Brendan Rodgers will say that his side have shown great character.

Jose Mourinho will get grumpy with a ball boy.

Every Sky Sports game from Dean Court will be described as a match "Bournemouth fans could only dream of a few years ago".

(Image: Charlie Crowhurst)

Claudio Ranieri will conduct an entire post-match interview by simply smiling, giggling and making some friendly noises.

(Image: Michael Regan)

Tottenham fans will desperately defend Roberto Soldado in January, saying he’ll eventually ‘come good’.

Tim Sherwood will tear off his gilet to demonstrate his disgust at a perfectly reasonable refereeing decision.

(Image: Getty)

Wayne Rooney will claim ‘all that matters is the three points’ after scoring a goal of the season contender.

(Image: Getty)

In the worst example of mistaken identity yet, Andre Marriner will send off Christian Benteke - when the guilty party was Joe Allen.

(Image: Richard Heathcote)

David Moyes will be linked with 12 different Premier League clubs before Christmas.

(Image: Ian MacNicol)

Steve McClaren will garner a lot of sympathy for doing "an impossible job" but be odds on for the sack by Christmas.

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Michael Owen will continue his mission to teach the British public that ‘there’s only one statistic that counts, and that’s the scoreboard’.

(Image: Alex Livesey)

Tottenham will claim Harry Kane is ‘not for sale at any price’ for the entire season (knowing full well that he has a price).

Jose Mourinho's refusal to say a single word in a press conference will ironically provoke more comment and opinion than anything else during the entire season.

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