But I digress. Philip had obviously undergone another conversion—he did not shy away from approaching someone whom he previously might have avoided. As a eunuch, this person was ceremonially unclean. No amount of washing or sacrifices would be able to remove this stigma. Yet, he risks his life and travels an incredible distance out of his conviction to be in Jerusalem for the Passover, even if he is not allowed to enter the temple grounds and participate fully. It didn’t matter—he wanted to be as close to the Holy of Holies and was willing to stand behind the fence to do so.

The Holy Spirit included this not so small detail because it is what gives this story its object lesson for the church and it explains the significance of the question the eunuch asks Philip, “What prevents me from being baptized?”

This question melted me when I read it that Sunday. The question was pregnant with all kinds of meaning, as if to say: “Though I have been a Jew and have done everything required of me and have kept the commandments, I am not a full participant, I am not an equal. Will it be the same with Jesus, or can I participate fully? Philip’s answer was just as profound—as if to say, “Nothing prevents you and nothing prevents me, we are equals in Jesus!”

From Paula: What was your relationship with your body before your transition--did you see yourself, your embodied person as beloved and created in God's image or were their challenges to loving the body you didn't feel at home in? How do you view your body now that you have transitioned? What does it mean to be created in God's image as an embodied person--before and after you transitioned?

Hi Paula. Good question, painful to answer. I loathed my body and, as I shared above, the fundamentalist, conservative Christian exterior I clothed myself with produced a great deal of guilt. I did not want to insult God and tell Him he had made a mistake; I couldn’t. Satan was to blame for all of this and this concept also proved to produce incredible guilt whenever I allowed myself to do “research.” It was as if I was playing with forbidden fruit.

Having gone through the transition and being on this side of the “gender divide,” I cannot remember how horrible it was to have acute gender dysphoria. I have not experienced it since I transitioned. I imagine this is how mothers may relate to the pain of childbirth, which is forgotten after the baby is born.

With respect to God’s image and what that means, I am convinced this has nothing to do with our physicality or flesh, rather, it has to do with our character. He has given us His divine nature, Peter declares and has made us joint heirs with Christ. These are all qualities that do not change, even if our bodies do.

Your question reminds me of the conversation I had with my dad. He asked why I couldn’t say to myself that I had endured my condition for fifty-eight years so I might as well stay unchanged for however many years I may have left to live and return to being Jim (my Anglicized former name) for my wife. “Yeah, right! If it was only that easy.” I thought to myself. I asked him if he would say the same thing to me if what I had was another “congenital” or lifelong medical condition for which there was now a procedure that could improve the quality of my life. Should I not have such a procedure performed on me, or should I say to myself that I’ve lived with it this long and I might as well take it with me to the grave.

“That’s different,” he said.

“How so?” I asked.

My decision has impacted my wife’s self-image in a fundamental way. How I wish I could have been strong, to stay the course and remain as Jim for her.

From Carrie: As someone who isn't convinced that there are innate gender characteristics (although I do, of course, recognize biological differences and see how those might affect identity), I have trouble distinguishing how a transgender person conceives of her gender identity. Is it the case that you do think there are innate gender/sex differences and those are what don't feel like they fit, or is it more the case that, due to social constructions of gender, you don't feel as though you fit what a man is supposed to be and/or you feel more comfortable with female gender characteristics (and, of course, it may be some combination of both)? If it is the former, at least partially, what are those innate gender/sex characteristics that don't feel right? And, if there are those essential, innate differences, what role do those differences have in theology?

Hi Carrie, it’s confusing, isn’t it? Imagine not being able to figure it out as a child, when it could be said you are still innocent and intellectual reasoning is in its early stages. Superimpose on that all the layers that are influenced by culture and society, the expectations and prejudices having to do with gender roles and gender expression, and try to separate those from gender identity. If gender identity is not innate, then why is it that so many people are burdened by this issue?

As per the discussion about children born with ambiguous genitalia, the evidence seems to suggest that human sexuality—one’s sex, identity, and orientation—need to be understood as three separate spectrums and not as rigid one-or-the-other binary realities. The conclusion is we do not choose our sex (biological plumbing), our gender identity (the brain wiring), nor or orientation (who we are attracted to). These are pre-determined for us before birth...sort of how Jesus explained it. What we do get to choose is more trivial. We get to choose our roles and how we express ourselves. Theologically, I have come to believe God is not hung up with what is under our clothes or with what we wear. He cares about the heart and how be behave towards one another.

From Katherine: In your opinion, How much of gender is a social construct and how much is innate? What does it mean to you to be a woman as opposed to a man?

Katherine, good topic for a gender studies class. There are straight women that are masculine and straight men who are effeminate. Then there are gay men who are masculine and gay men who are effeminate, and lesbian women who are also either masculine or feminine. And then there are trans people who are all over the map. Isn’t diversity wonderful?

But at the end of the day, as you ready yourself for bed, in those private moments when you are left with only yourself to talk to, who are you? Is your identity based solely on what clothes you just took off? That would be foolish, wouldn’t it? The issue of what you are is on a completely different level.

For ninety-nine percent of the population who have never questioned if they are male or female because their gender identity aligns with their biological sex, I challenge you in the same way Jesus challenged his disciples—try to wrap your brain around the fact that not everyone is wired as you are; you are in the fortunate majority that somehow beat the odds in the crap-shoot of gender identity. There is a new word for that: “cisgender.” In other words, if you are not transgender and have never doubted your sex matches your gender, you are—tah-dah—cisgender!

One aspect that has been left out of the discussion so far is function. There are spiritual and social functions—different from roles, yet similar in that they are gender neutral. But to answer the question of what it means to be a woman as opposed to a man, most people are still focused on the biological functions of each. As a transsexual woman, I cannot get pregnant, and for this reason, some have argued, transsexual women are not real women. And conversely, transsexual men are not real men because they cannot inseminate. These arguments loose some of their validity when you consider that not all women are childbearing and not all men are fertile. So are we then reduced to only consider potentiality as the litmus test?

The issue at the end of the day is, are you a loving person?—whether male or female, or in between.

From Lee: In the Christian community, what differences have you noticed in the way people treat you as a woman, as opposed to a man? and as a transgender person?

I am not one to push myself or prone to foisting my agenda on anyone. Truth be told, I think I know when I will run the risk of being the elephant in the room, and who likes to be that? The only churches I have gone to are Catholic churches with members of my family. There is a sense of mutual respect for each other’s privacy and you can leave quietly at the end of the Mass without being pounced on by a member of the welcoming/membership committee.

I have also visited the Baptist congregation where I was a member when I began to disclose my plans for transition. I was very loved and supported by friends there but decided to stop attending when I began my transition. Our middle son is a member of the Council, a worship leader and a Sunday school teacher, and out of respect for his need for space and because I knew there were a few people in the congregation for whom my transition would be a problem, I have stayed away. I have returned for one memorial service after the family’s wishes that I be present trumped any reservations I may have had about offending anyone, and also for two other Sunday services when my son said it would be okay with him. I have gone to several other churches at different times and since I am fortunate enough to fly under the radar, there has never been an issue.

I have not had the need or the occasion to be part of a church where, for example, there are women’s Bible studies or women only events. But if I attend Gay Christian Network 2013, there is going to be a women’s retreat the day before the conference starts. There is always a first time for everything!

From Abi: How would you recommend teaching kids about transgender issues? I want to raise my children to be sensitive to others and aware of others' differences, but I don't personally know any trans* people and there really isn't a template for talking about things like this (or homosexuality, or a lot of other things) in an affirming way within my church community. Are there resources you shared with your sons? Things you wish you had taught them at a younger age? Things you wish you had known as a child? Thank you so much for your transparency with us, Lisa, and for bravely sharing your story. Eshet chayil (woman of valor)!

Thank you Abi for your questions and your comments.

I don’t mean to be flippant in my answer about teaching children about transgender issues, but it occurs to me that it might be similar to the approach you take in teaching your children about down’s syndrome or even autism spectrum. Teach your children to love the person inside and not allow physical differences keep them from seeing the person. PLAG has done a great job at producing materials that help friends and family understand transgender issues and they have wonderful age appropriate titles.

Our sons were young adults when I came out to them. I am grateful how my prayers were answered in that all three of them have allowed me into their lives as Lisa. Transitioning involves everyone in one’s life and I feared, more than anything, that I would make others feel uncomfortable—especially when going out with them in public.

Are there things I wish I could have done or said when they were younger? I don’t think so. For me, even though I transitioned late in life— (I will be sixty-two in November)—the timing was in God’s hands. People have asked if I wish I could have transitioned sooner, when it would not have taken as much work to reverse the secondary sexual characteristics, such as the three-hundred hours of electrolysis it took to remove my Latin American beard, so I could have enjoyed being Lisa longer. The adamant answer is no. I would not trade our three sons or our two grand-daughters, and not the thirty-seven years my wife allowed me to be known as her husband, for having been able to transition sooner.

I’ll share an answer to prayer I had a few years ago: I have never heard God’s voice with my ears, but I heard His answer in my mind one day after he had opened my understanding of Matthew 19 to me. I asked, “Lord, why didn’t you allow me to see this sooner, it would have made it so mush easier?” He answered, “Because I was also listening to your wife’s prayer to let her have a husband as long as possible.”

From Elly: How have you been helped or hurt by your church (or churches)? How can churches be more supportive and welcoming?

Hi Elly. Up to now, I have not been high-profile. I only attend one church on a regular basis, Lighthouse of Hope Christian Fellowship in Vancouver, an amazing little Pentecostal congregation where the motto is “everyone is welcome…and we mean it.” And they do. I don’t know of any other church in our city were you will see three trans women leading worship on a Sunday.

But I know there are plenty of uber-conservative churches in Vancouver, perhaps not as homophobic and transphobic as some of the churches in the Deep South, but probably not places were I can expect to be invited to speak any time soon.

What does break my heart is how many trans people I have met, and who write me, who share gut-wrenching stories of how they have been judged and told not to return to the churches they attended. I also know of two young trans persons in Vancouver who have taken their own lives after their Christian parents rejected them. This is very, very sad.

To answer the second part of your question about how churches can be more supportive, let me share with you about a church in Toronto, Ontario, where the leadership met after learning one of their members was going to transition. They met with the person and offered to support her emotionally, socially, spiritually and financially. At the time, the Province of Ontario had a moratorium on funding sex-change surgeries, so the church held numerous fund-raising events and paid for this person to travel to Thailand and undergo surgery. In the United States, where many people are unable to access medical help due to lack of money, wouldn’t this example be amazing to follow?

And to unabashedly blow the horn for my church, two of the deacons are trans women, and I am one of the worship leaders. We are full participants, all equals.

From Rachel: What's something you wish more people knew about you?

Rachel, your question strikes me as funny. My friend Kathy Baldock of Canyonwalker Connections has kidded me ever since I told her remorsefully that I had this notion that after my surgery I had hoped to live a very private life and simply blend into the woodwork; no one except close friends and family would know about my past. But that was not how things have turned out! I accepted an invitation to speak at a conference in Vancouver six months after my surgery, published a book about my life, and debated Michael Brown—how is that keeping quite about your past and being a private person? She likes to point this out to me and calls me “Quiet Lisa.”

But is there anything else I want people to know about me? Yes, and it goes like this:

Last year, when I engaged Michael Brown in an on-line public exchange in the days prior to the Charlotte Pride Event, I was learning how to use my new iPhone. I was checking my emails and noticed Dr. Brown had rebutted back and what he said made me very angry. He was challenging my interpretation of Matthew 19 and asserted that if he was wrong and I was right, he would be forced to confess his error to God and to men, but that if he was right and I was wrong, I would not only have to confess my error to God and men, I would also have to revert to living as a man because, he argued, this verse defined me. I started to type that there were other more important verses that defined me, and at this point I mistakenly pressed “send.”

“Shit!” That’s what I said, and started a new message. I was going to continue by listing the verses that popped into my mind but then stopped. No, that is all I have to say, I thought to myself. Why cast my pearls before swine? (Sorry Dr. Brown, just quoting scripture.) The first verse on my tongue was “I am my Beloveds and He is mine…” Song of Solomon 6:3.

Kathy Baldock and I attended the Pride Event and she told me to get prayed over at my church the Sunday before we went. In the prayer room after the service, I was with one of the pastors and one of the deacons who were going to pray for me. All I asked was for them to pray for Kathy and me and for the Lord to give us opportunities to share the love of Jesus with folks. As Pastor Brandon prayed, I had my eyes half open as I bowed my head and I recognized the sandaled feet of a man who has a gift of prophecy as he approach our little circle. He had no idea what I had asked the other two to pray for and when he spoke up, he basically answered my request almost word for word. That was very moving. But then Pastor Brandon leaned into me and whispered in my ear, “I just heard the Lord say, “You are my beloved” three times!” I had not said anything to Brandon or anyone else about my foiled attempt to respond to Dr. Brown and the verse that was on the tipoff my tongue.

Silly me, I’m sitting here crying my eyes out just like I did that night. Jesus affirmed what was in my heart and I knew I was loved by Him. That is what I want others to know… I am loved by Jesus.

I will close with this. I know there are many Christians who will discount everything I have said and done as heretical and completely unscriptural. But I warn them to be careful. I have the witness of the Holy Spirit in my life and in the same way I cannot judge anyone’s standing in the Lord, no one except the Lord can judge my standing in Him. To attribute what I have experienced and how God has worked in my life to the works of Satan is to run the risk of attributing the works of the Holy Spirit in my life to Satan. In this regard, you can add all gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer and transgender Christians’ experience of God in their lives. Do not blaspheme the Holy Spirit by declaring their experiences as counterfeits and invalid. As was the case for the early church, when the Holy Spirit was poured out among the uncircumcised gentile believers and the church had to change its theology to accommodate this new God experience, we need to be careful today that our theology is not so inflexible that we run the risk of putting God, the Holy Spirit in a box of our own design.

God Bless you all.