If you aren’t failing, you aren’t pushing yourself.

“Food. First we eat.” I said, pointing to a diner across the Union Square.

M and I walked in to the diner and were seated. It wasn’t too crowded, though the dinner rush would likely be coming in soon. We were seated quickly and our waitress approached from behind me.

“Hello there.” Tall, well-proportioned, with curves in all the right places and none of the wrong ones. I’m not one to indiscriminately hand out high numbers, but she was an easy nine.

The waitress pickup has a very specific and near foolproof algorithm. Step one is not to look at her until she looks at you for your drink order. Check.

Turn to look directly into her eyes. Eye contact is so important in seduction – it creates a personal connection. By looking directly from your menu to her eyes, you are setting yourself apart. How many guys do you think she has that can look at her for the first time without even glancing a her chest? Only gay ones.

When she returns, we’re in a conversation. Let her wait for us to finish.

I ask her for her recommendation. Honestly, I haven’t even glanced at the menu. I’m not a picky eater and getting the waitress’s recommendation provides a great opportunity for me. I tell her that if this dish is bad, I’m holding her responsible.

Women People are bad at rational thinking. If she thought through it, she would know that my future negging of the food is not directed at her. At worst, they are directed at the chef.

She comes back to our table to ask how I liked her choice.

“I give you a six out of ten,” I say. You, not it. Subtle difference, that she will likely only notice subconsciously.

This is my waitress routine. I’ve done it dozens of times, and it’s wildly successful. Eye contact, dish recommendation, and more than a little negging.

Wait for your three IOIs, then make your move. Phase-shifting to the close is the hardest part.

My usual method is a two-parter. I’ll have one person at the table step excuse himself when he sees her coming back to the table. I then tell her that this guy just broke up with his girlfriend, blablabla and he asked me to take him out to meet women tonight. This builds social proof – you’re the guy that all your friends turn to meet women. I tell her that we are planning to go to this club and that club, and tell her to join us when she gets off work.

This time went a little differently. I decided to see if I could squeeze through without the social proofing. As soon as she gave her third IOI (in this case, a smile and hair-behind-the-ear when I made eye contact while she was taking another table’s orders), I stood up and walked to the waitresses’ station.

“I would regret it all night if I didn’t tell you to come out with us tonight. What time is your shift over?”

That line isn’t me at all. That’s beta as shit. I still have no idea where it came from. I didn’t even hear her response, but I knew what it would be. Some bullshit about plans or a boyfriend or something. I was deep into my own head, and on autopilot to save face.

Where I went wrong: My closing was premature, but I can usually work with that. Skipping the social proof would have been fine with the right closing line, but not with that beta shit. It would have been possible to save it from that poor line if I had stayed out of my own head, but I hate making mistakes.

You live and learn. Well, you live at any rate.