== Be John Egbert

You're name is John Egbert. And currently, you have never been more terrified in your entire life time. Although you haven't been alive very long, you are only 13 years old. Never-the-less this fact does not prevent you from almost shitting yourself every time you hear something. You lurk quietly, both concealed by the ebony of night and also blind in it's grip.

You are stalking through a city in the middle of the night. Under normal circumstances, your dad would be furious at you for not telling him why you are doing this. But you are under no normal circumstances. In fact, the very idea of normal seems silly and far-fetched now. You are stalking through a city in the middle of night because you are trying not to be eaten.

Trying not to be eaten by the undead that is. Oh yes, the undead. They started rising from their graves and lumbering around dripping acid or spewing blood about 2 weeks ago. At least you think it was 2 weeks ago, it has been so hard to tell without a calender recently. From the last new cast you saw you think you know how the dead came back to the living.

According to the last reporter the outbreak began in a remote camping site somewhere in Oregon. Some idiot was dumping hazardous chemicals into a lake; unfortunately, the resident wildlife drank from the pond and became undead flesh craving animals. They bit campers, the campers bit rangers, the rangers bit other people, and eventually the virus had spread across the globe ravaging every place possibly conceivable. Well, except for 2 places. 2 places that you know of.

Rose's large home was surrounded by a huge forest, little zombies made it through the entire forest without being eaten by undead animals. That was the only problem though, according to Rose's last memo, the animals were getting smarter and were attacking more and more often.

Jade's home was possibly the least infected place on the planet. Such a remote island had little chance of getting infected, and according to Jade's last memo, she hadn't seen one zombie. Neither animal nor human. She still kept her rifle handy though.

That was the 'safe house' everyone was headed to. By everyone, you mean your best friends Dave and Rose, and all of the trolls. When the game ended, you all expected to be sent back to your native planet. Hopefully fully restored planet. Well, the trolls were sent to Earth along with you. You're not sure why yet, but you're certain you'll find out eventually. Earth was more or less restored completely. You woke up in your old neighbourhood. But the best part? Your dad was there. He was alive and you smiled and ran into his arms like in one of your favourite movies and recalling that memory makes you smile. Wait, stop that! There's no time for you to reminisce anymore. You had been separated from your dad a week after everything went to hell. But you know he's alive. He must have found an old computer, and has been sending you messages through pesterchum ever since.

A troll named Sollux has kept pesterchum running. You're sure it's no easy job, but he does it damn well and everyone is thankful. That brings up another subject, the trolls. They're headed to Jade's island, too. There has to be at least one boat left that can take you all to Jade's home. According to her, there will be no reason to leave once you're there. She has a plentiful garden and even if you have to be a vegetarian the rest of your life you don't really mind because you have seen enough red flesh to last you 10 decades.

You are slowly crossing the city, and being careful not to draw any kind of attention to yourself. You are already so covered with the blood of others you think it's hiding your scent. Not one zombie has tried to eat you. Yet. You think it's creepy that you haven't seen one. Where are all of them? You're in a city, there has to be ONE zombie out here! Not that you're complaining, you only have so many bullets left and even then the noise would surely bring an avalanche of the undead.

Still, the city is in complete disarray. There are cars on the sidewalks, bodies are scattered in every place conceivable, and there is blood splattered everywhere. Windows are boarded up, all the doors were painted with such optimistic sayings such as "STAY OUT" "YOU'RE AREN'T WELCOME" or your personal 'favourite', "WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE" You think the last one was written in blood. Of course you had only seen that during the day, now that you're farther into the core of the city you suspect things are much much worse.

You cautiously peer into the window of an old apartment, it's so dark it's hard to see, but you don't think anything is in there. Cautiously, you soundlessly open the door and peer inside. No one is there. You barricade the doors and take your laptop out of your captchalogue. You look to see if anyone is online. gardenGnostic, apocalypseArisen, arachnidsGrip, twinArmageddons, and cuttlefishCuller are online. You haven't really talked to AA or CC but you sure are happy Vriska is online! You quickly pester her

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

EB: hey vriska!

EB: how are you doing?

EB: against the zombies i mean.

AG: Jooooooooohn! My favourite human ;;;;)

AG: I'm doing awesome of course! If I wasn't, how would I 8e talking to you right now? ::::O

EB: hahahahaha :)

EB: good point, and i'm glad you're doing great!

EB: but how far away are you from jade's island?

AG: Hmmmmmmm, I'm not sure! I'll ask Sollux if he can pinpoint my location.

EB: sollux is the one running pesterchum, right?

AG: Duuuuuuuuh! He said I'm about 413 miles away. Is that a lot 8y a human standpoint?

EB: ummmmmmmmm

EB: yes, but it's definitely not as far away as some of the others.

EB: and I think you're moving faster than me anyway!

AG: I know I'm moving faster than you! I have all of the luck, that's why. All of it

EB: actually you have fancy wings you can fly around with.

EB: which is why you're moving so fast.

AG: Well jeez John, don't flatter me!

AG: And anyway, I thought your powers were 8ased on flight?

AG: How come you keep complaining a8out not 8eing a8le to fly?

EB: oh, i thought i had explained this to you for some reason.

EB: i think when the game ended, our powers were reduced. didn't you say something about not being as lucky?

AG: Oh pleeeeeeeease I'm just as powerful as ever! There must 8e something wrong with you. Were you 8itten 8y the zom8ies John? Did they gorge on your scrawny flesh and now you're talking to me through the grave?

EB: first, ew.

EB: second, also ew.

EB: are you sure? i swore you told me you'd been having troubles with your powers.

EB: be honest, this is serious stuff!

AG: All right fiiiiiiiine. 8ut I'm only telling you 8ecause you're not as terri8le as my other friends.

AG: I haven't 8een nearly as powerful as I was in Sgru8.

AG: 8eing transported to your world fucked up my a8ilities.

AG: May8e now that the game has ended, we don't have any use for god-tiers.

AG: And our powers will just fade away.

EB: i sure hope that doesn't happen.

EB: i liked being the heir of breathe!

EB: controlling the wind was great, and i could help all our friends so much easier if I wasn't having so much trouble!

AG: You keep all the past-tense 8ullshit, can you tell me what exactly happened to you?

EB: i can't control the wind the way i used to!

EB: I can't fly, or create hurricanes.

AG: I don't know what to tell you John! I'm just as useless as you are, you're going to have to 8e a man and confront your pro8lems.

AG: Flying is important to you I 8et, especially now. 8ut the rest of our team is perfectly capa8le of surviving without 8eing god-tier.

EB: that doesn't help the fact that it sucks.

AG: ::::(

EB: :(

AG: Try using your powers more often, 8ecause complaining a8out it won't solve anything. I haven't whined once, think of it as loosing the use of your legs and learning to live life without them!

EB: that metaphor was eerily disconcerting.

AG: ;;;;)

EB: i'll take your advice, but i still wish i could fly for more than 10 minutes at a time!

AG: Wishing won't get you anywhere, you need to take a stand and fight to the death for what you want!

AG: Truuuuuuuuust me.

EB: with that number of u's i don't think i can!

EB: nine u's, what happened to the vriska i know and love?

AG: Oh my god it was just a mist8ke.

EB: or was it? are you a zombie vriska?

AG: I'm leaving now.

EB: hehehe, okay.

EB: be careful out there!

AG: Pffffffff like I need to 8e careful.

AG: It's you who needs to 8e extra cautious. You don't need to 8e worried about me at allllllll.

AG: Try not to get yourself killed!

EB: hehe i won't :)

ectobiologist [EB] ceased pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

You worry about her regardless of what she says. You get up to open the door and get going, but you are so tired. So very, very tired. Your eyelids droop and you realize how comfortable the shredded couch you were sitting in was. NO! Get a hold of yourself! If you fall asleep now, you'll wake to a breakfast buffet. And you'll be the all-you-can-eat special at half-price.

You get up groggily, and open the door. You don't even bother to close it behind you, as you walk down the deserted street.