"Mary, why do you wear those stupid red boots all the time? You wanna know why? Because it makes my toes feel like ten friends on a camping trip, that's why."

All About Steve is a Razzie Award winning film (yes, film) about a woman who's convinced a CCN (which, for legal purposes is NOT CNN) cameraman is the love of her life. She's a weirdo who is, for some reason, allowed to walk around in public amongst children, the elderly and other people who aren't a detriment to humanity.

Mary Horowitz is the kind of quirky that not too long ago got you treated with institutionalization and electroshock therapy. After one blind date, Mary is inexplicably drawn to the aloof charms of the uninterested Steve.

In fact, despite his rebuffs of her advances, Mary is unable to stop thinking about Steve long enough even to do her job. Her resulting unemployment gives her the perfect opportunity to hitchhike around the country, stalking Steve and terrorizing the handicapped.

When she finally gets Steve's attention, she inadvertently falls into a mine, rescuing a deaf child who was trapped there after the mine collapsed. She gives credit to a guy who throughout the movie is kind of a scumbag so he can get a promotion. Because of her actions, Steve realizes she's a beautiful person afterall. Unfortunately Mary also realizes this and then decides she doesn't need Steve to be happy.

"If you love someone, set him free; if you have to stalk him, he probably wasn't yours in the first place."

What This Teaches Us: No matter how hard someone doesn't respond positively to your romantic and sexual advances, you should by all means quit your job and follow them across state lines because if you're attractive enough, criminal behavior is *perfectly* acceptable.

Also, you should endanger handicapped children, other people, and your own life in the pursuit of self discovery.