On Friday night, Arcade Fire band leader Win Butler participated in the NBA All Star Weekend's celebrity game, competing for the West team alongside players like Chris Mullin, Skylar Diggins and Mone Davis. Given that Butler and I have a long-standing (read: one-sided) feud about a 1- on-1 game that Butler seems afraid to take me up on, I'm here with my noted basketball expertise to break down Butler's performance in the game with help from a few Vinesual aids.

First, a little bit about what I knew about Butler's game before this game: Butler is big—6'4''—but sees himself as more of a "stretch four" and likes to play around the perimeter. He has a reputation of being that guy who tries way too hard in a pickup game, and he's also that guy who wears a fancy throwback uniform that costs $225 to the Y. He's a big Houston Rockets fan, and most of his references seemed constrained to the era of the mid-'90s Rockets. (Example: He recently said that Pelicans All-Star Anthony Davis "reminds me of Hakeem Olajuwon" and dude won't shut up about, like, Mario Elie). Once again, Butler is a big dude, and with that hair-headband combo he kind of looks like Kelly Olynyk if Kelly Olynyk spent the entire offseason at Sammy's Roumanian snuggling pilsners.

In conclusion, I knew Butler could run the floor and would likely try harder than everyone in the game, and that if anyone was going to smash Sarah Silverman in the face with an elbow on accident because he was playing too hard, it would be Butler. Now, onto the game.

THE GAME

As soon as Butler got in, he turned it over.

BUTLER WITH THE OUTLET! Hollld youurrrr mistake up!

Who was he even trying to pass it to there? Jesus.