(Late at night, a man’s sitting on a cliff plucking his guitar.)

MAN

When all four roads meet the same dead end

When the email is empty and you’ve still hit ‘send’

The days are not bright and the nights feel wrong

I can’t the see the light cause the tunnel’s too long

Your infinite presence and infinite power

Your breathtaking beauty has curdled to sour

You pushed me over and I tumbled along

And when I stopped falling, I was in this song

Fuck you dear Universe. Fuck you night and day

Fuck you dear Universe. Fuck you to decay

(Unknown to our man, an adivasi in a loin cloth and a vest

starts is seen coming up the cliff, carrying a single drum on his back.)

In this world of terror, televisions and ipods

They’re killin’ people in the name of a fake God

When will you wake up and start giving a fuck?

When will you stop sexually abusing that duck?

Drop the beat!

(The adivasi, by now, has settled right behind the man.

He produces a hiphop beat on his drum.)

To my homeboy, the UNIVERSE! Break it down now.

Fuck you in prose and fuck you in verse

Fuck you in song and fuck you in a curse

Fuck you like I’d fuck Zach Braff in a unitard

Oh not-so-dear Universe, you’re an infinite retard.

(Silence. The adivasi gets up and starts walking downhill.

The strumming begins again.)

But with nowhere to go, I mission abort

Just one thing to do, my one last resort

A long and lonesome bottle of pills

A faraway cottage in the faraway hills

A rope and a stool with a broken leg

A gallon of rum in a leaking keg

And a handgun for me if I still wake up

I hope you beg if you could still make up…

(Sudden interruption by lightning. Followed by another loud

frightening lightning, followed by a Vincent Price laughter.

A low ambient strumming comes out of nowhere.)

UNIVERSE

What is your problem, my lonesome child?

Flaming ulcers or just some raging bile?

You’re a tiny dipshit and you know that well

Now what is your problem, do man up and tell

MAN

Huh? I have problems you know, man

Just listen to me and quit being a douchebag

You created me and I’m a part of you

If I quit being me, you will quit being you!

UNIVERSE

What makes you think you’re worthy of time?

Seven billion of you at a million a dime

I’m more than everything you can ever dream of

And everything you’ll ever lick cream off

Every piece of ass that you wanted to grab

And every smart ass with the gift of gab

I am the food, the drinks and the drugs

The warmth of your warm hot-chocolate mugs

What more can I give you? What more can I take?

Or should I break into a dance for your enlightenment’s sake?

MAN

I am sad and I am suicidal

I just want to laugh and sit very idle

I don’t really want to have anything to say

At least nothing that’s sensible anyway

UNIVERSE

Leisure, you have no time to stand and stare

Leisure, you’ll have no love for what you don’t care

If it’s laughter you seek then laughter you shall find

If it’s lazy you wanna be, then learn to unwind

MAN

But how? How? How?!

UNIVERSE

I’ve wanted to help you but you didn’t understand

I gave you a finger, yet you yanked at my hand

You climbed onto my shoulder and pissed in my ear

I gave you the freedom, you created fear

Fuck you dear creature. I thought I’d made it clear

Fuck you dear creature. Fuck your life and your whole career

I taught you to laugh but you learnt how to cry

I taught you to roast and you learnt how to fry

I taught you to roll, you learnt the word 'my’

I gave you my humour and you said, 'But why?’

I can’t ever help you, you’re one sick fuck

You’re the one fapping to two girls and one cup

You leave me no choice and no room to smile

I am tired of walking that extra mile. For you.

MAN

What?

UNIVERSE

Fuck you dear creature. Fuck you 'cause you still can’t see

Fuck you dear creature. Kindly fuck all the fish in the sea

Fuck you dear creature. I am not sorry, your life’s a real tragedy

Fuck you dear creature. You couldn’t find weed and comedy.

WEEEEEEDDD AND COMMEDDYYYYYYYYYYYY! YEAH!

(Oh, and Happy 420.)

(Attribution: “Written by Jugal Mody”)

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.

(Source: facebook.com)

6:48 pm • 20 April 2012 • 3 notes