When the Flyers unveiled their new mascot, “Gritty,” hockey fans across America let out a gasp and a guffaw. Philadelphians embraced him with their signature brotherly love.

Gritty looks like a tangerine hypertrichotic demon. His tripped-out googly eyes rattle in his head, and his default expression is a smug grin. The Philadelphia Inquirer’s David Gambacorta described him as “the mascot version of a stab wound.” The Flyers claim that Gritty once lived in a secret hideout in the Wells Fargo Center, that he dines on hot dogs...