It's funny how digging out any old column from the Slipknot / Stone Sour man can have vital relevance in the present day. Here, in his column from Issue 124 (first printed in July 2009), Corey Taylor rains fire on organised religion and no sect is safe from his crosshairs.





The following is part one of an ongoing mini-series regarding philosophy. Reader discretion is advised…

Let me start in the middle…

Technically I’d have to, seeing as I missed the beginning and the end hasn’t happened yet, much to some people’s chagrin. Time has a way of mixing all the elements of every novel ever written, good or bad. And yet how we spend that time is always amazing to me. Time is a relative creature – it can speed by or suffocate, and how we choose to exist or move through its sometimes murky waves inevitably defines who we are, how we act and why we’re here. These plains of existence are the aftermath of our own philosophies. I will be examining many, and yet will take to task all – in kind.

Religion, for example, is a way of life for the majority of you, and what is philosophy but how we live our lives, the Taos and credos of billions of organisms who didn’t know well enough to stay in the ocean. In all my years of wandering around looking for food and cigarettes, there has never been a more confounding concept to me than religion. I cannot subscribe to a way of life that bases faith on fairy tales and conjecture, and yet wields incredible malice and control on those who disagree.

I mean, come on – really? Invisible people? Creationism? Joe Smith and Jesus in Utah? For fuck’s sake. This is what religion does to people – it gives people a reason not to use common sense, thereby debasing the gene pool and twisting normal everyday folks into misanthropic, misguided, misinformed miscreants.

Sorry – couldn’t resist…

My biggest problems with religion – and this is across the fucking board – is that I don’t believe people have true faith. I believe one per cent has true faith and the rest make themselves have faith out of FEAR, which makes sense since all the religions in the world were invented because a) people wanted answers, and b) science didn’t exist yet. But people today HAVE answers. They HAVE ways to ascertain what the hell’s going on. Human beings are living in an era of unprecedented technology and discovery, but fear will always take the best tastes out of the smartest mouths. The only reason they cling to their superstitions is because of the death question. They just don’t KNOW.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DIE?

For me, that answer is very simple: WHO GIVES A RAT’S ASS?

But for many, and to be honest a great many, there needs to be something there. And religion provides that. Ironically, they don’t provide much. They only give you the back story – a story that was written in a time when people still used leeches to cure shit like headaches. But they need some kind of happy ending, a ‘reasonable’ doubt so they might have a chance to get shit right in the afterlife. I believe you shouldn’t worry about getting a second chance in the afterlife. You should get it done NOW. But maybe I’m just crazy – I AM just a fucking singer…

Religion also has no consistency. It cannibalises other religions (sorry Christians) and shifts with the times. I have long considered Christianity to be the religion ABOUT Jesus, not the religion OF Jesus. Much like there are no universal rules of health, there are no universal absolutes of religion. God is infallible – SAYS WHO? If God is infallible, explain to me marijuana. If God is infallible, explain to me Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I am so damn tired of the ‘God has a mysterious plan’ excuse. I don’t buy it – and anyone with half a brain shouldn’t either.

This is more a searing acknowledgement for the people who follow religion. But when it comes to doctrines, I believe some of the philosophies of religions are quite beatific. Christianity does preach love (even if it is sometimes more omni-lateral). Me? My spirits live somewhere between Buddhism and Satanism – respect for personal establishment with an Eastern kind of bent, you know? But I cannot abide by the discriminations of humanity. This simply will not suffice for me. I cannot believe in a God who says homosexuality is a sin. I cannot believe in a God who says Infidels should be murdered. I cannot believe in a God who says eating a burger on Friday is a one-way ticket to Hell. I cannot believe in religions that SAY they preach love, and yet all the brochures point to venomous hate. Can’t do it… furthermore, WON’T do it.

Gods, Goddesses, Spirits… really? This is the fucking BEST we can come up with in this day and age? We’re going to let superstitions and hocus pocus block our evolution. We’re going to continue to kill one another in the name of deities that simply CANNOT exist.

And they CANNOT exist because THERE IS NO PROOF.

To Be Continued…



For another classic Corey Taylor column, check back next Friday!