Just for the record: I’m still profoundly annoyed by the way this whole reveal has played out so anticlimactically, with half the town figuring it out on their own and then Julian knowing that they know. And it’s still way too much about Sonny and also giving me trauma flashbacks to the way all that Alexis and Jerry chemistry was criminally wasted when that reveal was bungled and rushed exactly like this.

But let’s just say that certain portions of today — mostly involving William deVry making that little helpless moan mid-kiss — were SUPER GOOD FOR ME:

ALEXIS: Why would I trust you?

JULIAN: You did once upon a time. You looked in my eyes… you walked out of that bar and into my car.

ALEXIS: Are going to seduce me now?

JULIAN: You tell me… [whispering] I remember you.

Is that man made of sexiness and magic? He must be, because one look from him with the eyes and the smolder and the “Carly who?” speech and I’m ready to believe anything that comes out of his mouth. (Although, honestly, it doesn’t take much acting to convince me someone could be wildly attracted to Nancy Lee Grahn, because… come on.)

Oh please, please, please let this story get back on track now. No more Carly distractions. No more Julian forgetting Alexis exists for weeks at a time. All I want is some tension and some pining and for this to not end with her being played for a fool. Is that so much to ask? Can Alexis finally have a bad boy who isn’t really that bad? Who can be dangerous without being a sociopath? Who will respect her and protect her and not treat her like a child?

I have high hopes, guys. This is probably dangerous.

Speaking of gentlemen who respect Davis women — and I can’t believe I’m about to say this about this guy, but — Silas and Sam! Holy hell!

STILL GOT IT

Unfortunately, things that were less good for me today included: Olivia finally losing what was left of her dignity, soul and goddamn mind. And Sonny expressing his frustration with not being able to kill anyone by saying this to another of his former lovers and baby mammas:

SONNY: Okay, let me tell you something. If I was your father–

ME: IT WOULD BE EXTREMELY AWKWARD. LET’S STOP THERE.

Ew. Ewwwww. I need brain bleach from that line. Although his pouty “aw, but I really want to kill someone” face was sort of worth it.

Meanwhile, Franco “heroically” redeemed himself for all that pesky rape, murder and kidnapping by meeting the minimum requirements of human decency. Which, on the scale of “endanger a child/save a child” that passes for this show’s get out of jail free card, places him somewhere between “Sam taking on the Russian mob to atone for letting Jake be kidnapped” and “Luke not killing any toddlers while driving Aiden to the hospital.”

So, naturally, all was forgiven.

(I mean, I suppose I could give him points for jumping into freezing water in November in upstate New York, but considering Carly was wandering around outside wearing nothing but a skimpy cocktail dress and a fabulous haircut, I’m going to say Port Charles is experiencing something of a heat wave and that was basically a pleasure swim.)

At least we’ll always have Kiki’s ridiculously ungraceful leap into the water. Never have I wished for the ability to make gifs more. And, hey! Now we have definitive proof that even a serial killer is a better person than Morgan. So that’s nice.