I stare at the screen, lips pursed, the dim light of the smartphone chasing away the shadows of midnight. My fingers twitch impatiently, their tips hesitantly hovering over the golden button emblazoned in the center of the screen. My eyes meet with hers, twin pairs of soulless, uncaring violet orbs gazing past me. My teeth clench and I tap. The image fades and a rainbow gate emerges from the shadows. I hesitate once again, its alluring, multicolored aura beckoning to me like a siren out at sea.

“You’ve gone this far, Alice,” I mutter to myself, biting my lip.

I tap. The door cracks. I feel my heart shatter.

“So I’m able to visit this world again…”

I slam the power button on the side of the screen and the light dies, leaving me sitting alone with only the chirping of crickets to keep me company. The phone falls to the bed with a muted thud and I pull my knees to my chest, choking back a sob.

“Fuck,” I mutter to myself, bashing my forehead against my bare knees. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK.”

I grumble and reach out, fumbling clumsily on the nightstand next to my bed. My laptop slides into my lap and, with the quick patter of keys, the familiar white background of Reddit meets my eyes. Top post of the subreddit is, yet again, another one of her. Anima. Fully Imped. Full SP enhancement. Even in her Omni form, adorned in sparkling, golden armor, beauteous antlers whose height seemed to tower into the heavens themselves, she kept her damning, emotionless gaze.

“Fucking deerbitch,” the words come naturally, having been said over and over and over and still over again over the entirety of the ‘joyous’ holiday month. My pointer flicks first to the upvote, then to the comment box, a forced congratulations flying from my fingertips. I used to be happy, ecstatic when the gate had reopened. I still hear the shattering of the rainbow gates in my ears, a cacophony threatening to drive me to insanity.

A faint vibration pierces the silence stagnating the air and I check my phone. Guild timer reset. I sigh and swipe, tapping away the Serge on my screen as though he was a disgusting little gnat. With another tap upon the myriads of blue flags, our guild opens up on the screen. Gensokyo. It was a silly little name that Yukari had come up with. I dump a generous amount of my Zel and Karma into the research center, their numbers having long since become meaningless, infinite masses that continue to accumulate without end, and check the board. Marisa’s recent message popped up on the screen, three excited words punctuated with a gross amount of exclamation marks.

‘Just got her!!!!!!’

Her profile picture was that damnable, uncaring stare. I tap and type out the same, tired message.

“Awesome Zeruiah, Marisa! Don’t forget to set her for SKD coming up next Monday.”

I sigh and flop back onto my bed, swinging my legs so as to not inadvertently snap my laptop in two. I untie the red ribbon tying back my hair, letting the blonde locks pool ungracefully around my head. Turning onto my stomach, I bring up my phone again and return to the home page. 2 gems lie uselessly in my inventory, the spoils of Averus’s demise at the hands of my Elza. 60 gems, 60 shiny jewels accumulated over three months of meticulous saving, anxious anticipation, and the most minute of lucky draws resulting in not only a Fina, but a Rain as well. I could only assume they now filled the coffers of the damned Gimu, probably flying off into the night on a sleigh pulled by Zeruiahs. My blue eyes narrow with annoyance and the phone shuts off once again, sliding unceremoniously beside my pillow.

I turn back to my laptop, seeing a golden notification beside the treasure chest serving as the mailbox of the subreddit. I pull myself closer, my finger dragging the pointer up to the mailbox. I figure I’m getting a reply from one of my snippy remarks on r/Overwatch, or perhaps that silly gif I made of Shanghai petting Litten took off on r/gifs. My brow furrows, seeing instead a PM from…

“… u/gimu?” I say, chuckling. “You must be really bored tonight, Marisa.”

I click on the message, my mind already mulling over the comeback toward that bored little witch. I skim the message and roll my eyes, giving an amused huff.

“Still haven’t gotten that Zeruiah, Alice?

I can help.

Message back if you’re interested.”

I lean forward, my fingers flying across the keys. “You finally gonna pay me back for the taiyaki we got last summer? Took you long enough.”

I send the message off. I’m just about ready to open a new tab when… the reply pops onto the screen. I know Marisa can get really into her pranks but… like, that wasn’t even ten seconds. Must’ve downed two cups of coffee like the idiot she is. I open the message, greeted only by a small, abbreviated url.

I quickly type, “Marisa, you and your screamers can fuck off.”

I send the message. Barely two seconds pass before a reply comes again. Again, it’s that stupid url.

I roll my eyes, sighing in resignation. She must’ve spent a lot of time on this dumb screamer if she was pestering me about it so much. If I click it and then tell her to fuck off she’ll leave me alone. Without a second thought, I click the link, and instantly the screen darkens.

It’s not a YouTube video, or a streamable vid, or even some crappy gif of those spooky scary skeletons she’s so fond of. It’s an… image, a jpg, I think. A jpg of three words written crudely in Microsoft Paint.

‘check your phone’

Instinctively, I reach back and grab my phone from between my two pillows. Swiping the screen, I’m met with the Arena menu. I’m… fairly certain I left it on the main menu, right? I feel an odd twitch in the back of my skull and I stare at the screen, feeling something’s amiss. The dull, red chains across Challenge Arena are absent, leaving that familiar image of Selena. “Take on new challenges,” the tagline said. I sighed, reminiscing of the old Challenge Arena. My beloved Hadaron, Bestie, and Iris, sweeping through the ranks deterred only by the cruel hand of RNG dictating a full SBB team go first. Shrugging, I click on the image, expecting the usual “CA is unavailable until further notice” message.

Instead, I’m taken to that familiar procession of sprites, the words “Challenge Arena” boldly shining at the top of the screen.

I pinched myself once, twice, thrice. Nope, there was a red welt on my left arm now, but… I wasn’t dreaming. Oh god I wasn’t dreaming CA was actually back. I could get more gems. I could summon for Zeruiah. I tunnel on the red “Enter” button at the bottom of the screen and filter my Omnis, quickly selecting my usual Colosseum units. A Mifune, an Azurai, a Krantz, a Selena, and my trusty Juno-Seto. I check the Brave Bonus modifier… only to see it fully maxed out at 2.50x. That’s… weird. I check and my opponent’s squad is a… Lario lead, with two dupe Luthers, a Zellha, and a Kikuri. The Zellha wasn’t Omni… hell, the Kikuri wasn’t even 7*. One Omni alone should have plummeted my bonus.

I shrugged. Perhaps Gumi was putting CA through an early beta and didn’t want to restrict what squads people would use. It would make the early league insanely easy but I wasn’t complaining. I clicked Challenge and was brought to the combat screen. Mifune’s sprite surged forward, swinging at Lario.

And decapitated him.

I blinked. Mifune didn’t just kill the unit, he straight up murdered Lario. I-I stared at the headless sprite, seeing animation that wasn’t like the default standby. The sprite… the body was swaying limply, the bow falling to the ground. There was blood, holy shit, there was pixelated blood dripping from the stump that used to be his neck. The body fell to its knees and then crumpled in a heap. The other members of my squad weren’t attacking after Mifune like they should have but… like I didn’t care at that point. I just saw a graphical depiction of a unit in this game getting straight up murdered. What in the hell.

I pinched myself again, again, again, until I drew blood. If I was dreaming, this was a really deep fucking dream.

Azurai went next after what seemed like a painfully long pause, swinging his brutal axe. A stream of fire burst from the ground and enveloped the Kikuri. I choked back a yelp as I saw the body of the petite, little girl writhe in agony. It was… disturbingly realistic, movements that seemed akin to a mocap actor being literally set on fire. I felt sweat begin to cake my face as the body desperately rolled on the ground, failing to pat out the flames. I felt bile rise to my throat as her pale, pixel skin charred and cracked in a manner that seemed too… hyperrealistic for this type of game.

I felt sick as her body fell still, flames still rising from the charred remains of the body.

I hit the power button of the phone. I slammed it. I grunted in frustration as I hit the button again and again, but the phone refused to turn off. It was locked onto this hideous spectacle as Juno-Seto channeled a beam of sunlight, sending it hurtling toward Luther. The bolt smashed into his chest and I saw his body… rupture. It exploded like some sort of fleshy water balloon, sending limbs and entrails flying out. I saw gory remains dripping against the edge of sprites, in the background… fuck, I flinched as what I could only assume was a liver slammed into the screen. It didn’t cause the phone to vibrate of course, I mean it’s a fucking video game of course this was just all pixels and animation, but the thought didn’t help me rationalize the liver slowly slide down the screen, leaving a disturbingly real trail of juice against the screen. My trembling finger rose, sliding across the trail of slime. Nothing. O-Of course it was nothing. This was nothing but a game, a bad dream, a… fucking something.

Krantz’s sprite leapt, hurtling toward the second Luther. Much like with Lario, the sword seemed to cleave through the sprite, splitting it cleanly in half. I shuddered as I saw one half of the dead Luther slump to the side, bits of broken bone and tore muscle and blood hanging from the ruined body. After the spectacle from Azurai and Juno-Seto, this seemed fairly tame in comparison, but the detail put into the dead bodies was beyond anything I was used to seeing from the game.

Finally, Selena moved, charging at the remaining Zellha. Though I figured anything else wouldn’t surprise me, my eyes widened in surprise as Selena, instead of swinging her treasured Lexida, instead jumped back from the Zellha sprite, readying her blade. In a flash, she lunged forward, goring Zellha on the tip of the blade and running it straight through her body. Selena raised the body up and I saw it squirm for an uncomfortable minute, seeing blood running down the sapphire blade as Zellha clung to life, trying first to pry herself away from the blade, then to beg for her life from an uncaring and static sprite. As the body finally went limp, Selena swung her blade, sending the body flying into the background. As the bright, yellow Victory flashed onto the screen, I tried once again to shut off the phone, again to no avail.

My blank eyes stared at the screen as it returned to the selection screen of Challenge Arena, the sprite of Rainbow Goddess Tilith levitating atop the sole pedestal. My thoughts of Zeruiah or gems or tickets or, frankly, fucking anything had long since been washed away by the inexplicable gore from a generally harmless, stupid gacha game. I hammered both the back button of my phone and the back arrow on the menu, both to no avail. My disgust slowly morphed to frustration as the peculiar mode refused to banish itself. Finally, with a resigned huff, I hit the Challenge button yet again, figuring I’d take out my frustration on the next team I ran into.

The enemy team came into view, a Rainbow Goddess Tilith and… nothing else. A fully empty squad save for the mock unit of the ditzy goddess. The Brave Bonus, of course, stayed at the max multiplier of 2.50x. Figuring it was simply an easy win from someone who used their Tilith to exterminate a 5* squad, I sent out the same five units again. The verdant plains opened up with the six sprites, and Mifune shot forward, ready to deliver what would surely be a fatal blow. The Tilith sprite shook as Mifune swung, yet only a miniscule 1 damage came from the blow as a light barrier deflected the strike.

Then Tilith stepped forward and snapped Mifune’s neck.

I-I knew that this Challenge Arena was some sort of nightmarish aberration, but somehow I was still caught off guard. Caught off guard from Tilith’s light steps as she approached the samurai. As her arm shot forward. As a sickeningly realistic crack exploded from my speakers, almost as if Gumi had recorded the sound of an actual bone breaking in lieu of their normal effects. I gagged, watching through half-shut eyes Mifune’s body crumple to the ground. The other units seemed to flinch, their eyes almost showing a hint of… fear? Was... I see things?

Tilith rose her arm as she continued walking toward the remaining four units, a bolt of light forming in her outstretched palm. Azurai readied his axe, but his painfully long windup animation, as it did so many times before, was to his detriment. What sounded like the crack of thunder echoed from my speakers and the bolt flew across the screen in a flash of blinding white that burned my eyes. Blinking away the spots in my vision, I saw the body of my Azurai lying in a pool of pixelated blood, the still cracking bolt of hardlight embedded squarely in his skull.

The remaining three sprites broke their standby poses, beginning to run from the bloodthirsty goddess. I stared, transfixed at the brutality on my screen, as the camera panned over to follow them. An explosion of light blew up the left side of my phone and a bolt of light shot across the screen, piercing Krantz’s leg. I saw the Krantz’s sprite topple over, his leg dragging useless behind him, but I heard…

Dear god I heard his scream.

It was a loud, guttural, human scream. Not some sort of synthesized voice or… hell, not even some really, really good actor. I swear, I swear to this fucking day that the only way you could replicate such a sound would be to jab a knife through someone’s leg.

Selena’s sprite spun around, grabbing Krantz’s arm and desperately pulling him along. I could hear her panting, her muffled sobs, her quivering voice. “Krantz. Come on, Krantz. W-We need to go.”

“No!” he cried, choking back a pained gasp as the bolt dug deeper through his thigh. “Take Juno-Seto and run!”

“B-But-”

“Run, dammit!”

Shaking Selena’s grip off of him, Krantz propped himself up on his claymore, shooing away the tear-stricken princess. I saw her flee off-screen as Tilith emerged from the opposite side, her feet barely cresting the bloody plains as she approached the hapless mitigator. With a loud, desperate yell, Krantz threw himself at Tilith, his blade directed toward her head.

And then I saw it. I swear to god, I could see her sprite smirk. Even without a mouth, she… fucking smirked. Her right hand reached out and grabbed the claymore mid-swing, tearing it from Krantz’s hand. With a wave of her free hand, Krantz’s sprite was tore clean in half, his guts spilling out before her like confetti.

His screams felt like ice running down my spine.

The camera flew once again to Selena and Juno-Seto, the two remaining units collapsing to their ground, their heaving bodies wracked with fatigue. They spun around, trembling and holding each other, as Tilith’s sprite emerged from the left side. Through my speakers, I could hear a faint, childish… laugh. Tilith was laughing. She closed the distance with the two only managing to scoot back a few pixels in response, the same demonic, playful laugh echoing in the speakers. I felt some unexplainable energy seize my fingers and I slammed the power button.

Tilith’s sprite paused and… turned to me. A text box appeared, her smiling face adorning it. “Now now, Alice. You said we could play. You can’t just stop our playtime early.”

Selena’s sprite jumped up, lunging with her precious Lexida. It was reminiscent of her killing blow of Zellha, but the goddess seemed unphased with the attack. Raising her hand, the blade froze, its tip just inches away from Tilith’s opened palm. The laugh turned into a giggle and her hand turned, much like turning a doorknob. I saw Selena’s arm twist in response, the whimpering of the Sama princess in the background.

Then a loud crack burst through the speakers, and the whimpers were replaced with screams. Selena’s arm was bent at an unnatural angle, her other arm desperately trying to set it back in place to no success. Tilith’s giggling was incessant as her hand moved, commanding Selena’s broken arm like a puppeteer. Lexida twisted, its sharpened edge moving closer and closer to Selena’s exposed throat.

“N-No!” she screamed, her hand gripping the blade and attempting to pull it back. Blood ran down in torrents, staining her pale body, though it was clear that she was doing little to stop the blade’s progress.

“Please, no!” Juno-Seto cried, grabbing Selena’s twisted arm and trying to pull it back from her. The two girls struggled helplessly, their sobs and screams far, far too realistic to possibly have been some sort of sick, twisted joke from Gumi. I hit the power button again and again and again, swearing I would break the damn thing if it would take me out of this nightmare, although I could nothing but watch as Lexida drew closer and closer to Selena’s neck. Her screams became shrill begging… then wet coughing… then a grotesque, strained gagging as the blade slid seamlessly through her neck.

Selena’s lifeless body collapsed to the ground, Juno-Seto following beside her. Grief-stricken, she buried her face into Selena’s bloodied chest, her shaking and quivering body already resigned to her fate. She spared no glance to the humming Tilith as she tore Lexida free from the death grasp of Selena. As she readied the blade with a gleeful smile.

With a pained, choked cry, Juno-Seto strained to voice her final, empty words with the sapphire blade clean through her neck.

The familiar Defeat flashed across the screen, though I barely noticed it. My eyes were focused on Tilith, the sprite slowly turning… toward me. It smiled, and a new text box appeared over the Defeat.

“That was fun, Alice! Let’s play again! Send more of your units!”

And beside those words… oh god I regret ever looking at that image. Tilith’s mouth was opened in a monstrous, wretched howl, her blue hair and green ribbons washed away in a fiery shade of red and orange like the depths of hell themselves. And her eyes… her eyes… torn clean from their sockets, leaving only an empty void of paralyzing, infinite light. I swear I could see them digging into my soul, trying to dig her fingers into my heart and pry it from my chest. Notifications rampantly bombarded my phone, one after another.

“Send more units!”

“Send more units!”

“Send more units!”

“Send more units!”

“Send more units!”

“Send more units!”

“Send more units!”

“Send more units!”

“Send more units!”

“Send more units!”

“Send more units!”

“… Don’t you love me, my precious Summoner?”

I wound my arm back and threw my phone across the room, hearing it shatter against the wall with a piercing crack. The screen had broken, plunging me into darkness, but the damn vibrations continued, a phone call aimed toward no one else beside the precious Summoner that had just sacrificed her units to a demon. I threw the covers over me and buried myself in pillows, desperately trying to drown out the sound.

For hours and hours it rung, the persistent goddess trying to contact her herald. I clamped my eyes shut, hoping this was a dream, wishing this was a dream. Those eyes, those damnable white voids would hold their image even through my shut eyes, an eternal reminder of the monstrosity I had witnessed. I buried myself into more pillows, hoping that sleep would rob me away from this torment.

And… the ringing stopped. My phone… I think I forgot to charge it. I breathed a sigh of relief and resigned myself to sleep, figuring I would explain to my mom why I broke my phone when the time came. I felt fatigue wash over me and I eagerly awaited the grip of the sandman.

And I think I almost escaped… but the pillow was thrown from my face, a hand clamped firmly over my mouth. I immediately screamed, my body flailing uselessly as the grasp of hands tightly enveloped my body. My panicked eyes locked onto the red, flaming tint of the skin over my face, tracing it back to a face of scarlet red, with piercing white voids staring back at me.