Mine: “Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he wants to drink. Descartes says ‘hmmm, I don’t know’ and vanishes in a puff of logic.”

1.

Watch_Closely:

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

2.

eclipsechaser:

Boris Spassky was once asked by a reporter, “Which do you prefer: chess or sex?”. Spassky replied “It very much depends on the position”.

3.

selorn:

“I’m a linguist, so I like ambiguity more than most people.”

4.

phattmatt:

Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”

5.

balloseater: