(Hello, this is a feature that will run through the entire season and aims to recap the weekend’s events and boils those events down to one admittedly superficial fact or stupid opinion about each team. Feel free to complain about it.)

Well, it's that time of year again: the leaves are turning, everyone's pulling out their sweaters, and a team that thinks its unsustainable PDO from the season before is indicative of something they just do right and can keep doing right forever.

Yes, the NHL season is mere days away, and with that in mind, just about everyone is rolling out their predictions. Who's finishing where in their division? Who's going to win the major awards? Who are the biggest sleepers and the bigger disappointments? That kind of thing. I don't have to tell you.

So with that in mind, it's time for us to look far (several months) into the future and make some predictions that are only occasionally wildly off the mark for this, the 2014-15 NHL season:

1. Corey Schneider will turn in a Vezina-quality season and the Devils will be among the top teams in the Eastern Conference.

2. The Oilers will improve dramatically. But not enough to get into the postseason.

3. The Stars' power play will be the best in the league, but it won't help them get past the second round once the playoffs start.

4. With their newly bolstered blue line, the Islanders will make a serious push for the top spot in the Metropolitan, but will still finish third. Can't argue to a playoff spot for the last season in Nassau.

5. Philadelphia will miss the playoffs in the East, but out West, the Canucks will be back in (barely).

6. When you give Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin actual depth in the lineup, you win the East. Pretty simple formula. Crosby, of course, wins the Hart and the Art Ross.

7. Despite the early injury, Jonathan Drouin will win the Calder. But Johnny Gaudreau is going to make a heavier push than many expect. Is skill, even on a low-scoring team like Calgary, will be that overwhelming.

8. Speaking of Calgary, they're going to finish 29th, behind 28th-place Buffalo. Worst team in the league this year? Carolina. And they don't win the draft lottery either, just as the NHL intended.

9. Dany Heatley will have a 25-goal season playing with Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry, because just about anyone can have a 25-goal season with those guys. But the Ducks till still take a step back, even with Ryan Kesler being effective on second-line mop-up duty.

10. The Senators' top line will be among the best in the league. Playing with Erik Karlsson, who'll win another Norris, helps a lot.

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11. Ondrej Pavelec will finally be relieved of the starting gig in Winnipeg. After the season. By Kevin Cheveldayoff's successor.

12. As it turns out for Peter Chiarelli, having Matt Bartkowski in your top-four is not conducive to repeating as division champions, let alone winning the Presidents' Trophy. The Lightning will take the Flortheast instead.

13. San Jose's plan to be “tougher to play against” will be abandoned midway through the season, because it turns out using a first-ballot Hall of Famer on your third line just to be spiteful is idiotic.

14. Florida will be much better than people expect, both because Roberto Luongo will turn in another stellar season, and because they have so much good, young talent.

15. The top three finishers in that brutal Central division, in order: Chicago, Dallas, St. Louis. Minnesota will put up a fight as well, though, especially if they stick with Darcy Kuemper for basically all of next season.

16. A number of factors convene to put the Capitals back in the playoffs again. Chief among them, Brayden Holtby turning it around after a rough season.

17. Phoenix will lose a ton of money once again and inch ever closer to leaving, thanks to that insane-o out clause that lets them pack up if they lose $50 million over five seasons. The fact that they'll be in the Western Conference's basement all season won't help gate revenues.

18. A third straight Rocket Richard for Alex Ovechkin? No way, Steven Stamkos will play the full 82 and be the only player in the league to break 50.

19. The streak will end in Detroit because no one can stay healthy. Mike Babcock will stick around anyway.