Weird News: 91-Year-Old Woman Suffocates During Kinky Sex Game With 49-Year-Old Neighbor

All things considered and looking at it with a “glass half full” mentality, that’s still one of the grossest things I’ve ever written.

According to Mirror, a 91-year-old Portuguese who was recently found “lying in the bed, naked from the waist down and with a vibrator,” likely suffocated during a kinky sex game gone wrong with the married father-of-two living next door.

The 49-year-old neighbor was arrested after DNA analysis of semen found at the scene was determined to have come from him. Literally, I guess you could say.

Authorities are considering the old minx’s death an accident after autopsy results showed her asphyxia was the result of “a sex game that spiraled out of control,” and the neighbor dad has since been released on bail.

“I noticed only two small bruises on her face, but there was blood on the sheets and a picture of her husband resting on her chest,” another neighbor who found her said. There were also “extensive genital injuries” that were likely caused from the sex toy found next to her.

And now I’ll be skipping lunch.

This is what you normally picture when it comes to women over 90: Watch What Happens When This 102-Year-Old Woman Tries To Blow Out Her Candles