Posted at: 2013-11-03 @ 14:42 ( 7 ♥ )

Posted by landlore

[Also available here on Burn as One in French]

You know that scene in “Fight Club” where Tyler Durden kisses the main character’s hand, then pours lye onto the kiss? It burned, didn’t it? And not just a little. It really, really burned. Well, my lovelies, lye is only one of almost 600 different additives that have been disclosed by the major tobacco companies.



You read that right.



The same chemical used to painfully seer and scar the flesh of a human is being given VIP access to your lungs. Nice of them to throw that in there for ya, isn’t it?



Other additives are more than welcome passengers along for the ride: chocolate, maple syrup, cinnamon. Bring it on!



But ammonia? Yes, that’s the very same stuff found in most of your cleaning supplies… and the same foul-smelling odor that comes from those puddles of yellow snow that your mother told you not to eat. Then there are more than 40 different types of acids, including phosphoric acid, which you’ll find in many of your heavy duty cleaning products.



The list goes on.



Additives, additives, additives. So what? When did a little lye ever hurt someone? Oh.. wait.



And yet “additive free” cigarettes come with statements such as: “No additives in our tobacco does NOT mean a safer cigarette.”



I’m no rocket scientist, but I play one on TV, and that statement gets quite a large “hmmmmm” out of me.



How could NOT smoking lye or ammonia be anything but a good thing? My assumption is that skipping out on those additives are very much a good thing. If you’re not agreed, then skip the rest of this; but, for everyone else “of sound mind”, join along as I further expound upon this conjecture.



Cigarettes without additives are safer for you.



Let’s add another assumption. If you had a bottle of pesticide – that stuff that’s strong enough to kill and deter swarms of insects for weeks at a time – would you drink it? Ok, you’re sane, so you probably wouldn’t drink it… but, would you roll a joint and dip it in a pesticide and then smoke it? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then please see our help desk representative at the bottom of the tallest cliff that’s nearest to you. For everyone else, I’m going to go with my psychic powers and say that you answered “no”; as in, “No, you’re not down with drinking pesticides, and you’re not down for smoking them either.” Cool. Let’s move on.



Here we have it: Cigarettes without additives are safer for you, and those grown organically are even safer.



Doesn’t sound too crazy to me, but I don’t know… I’m pretty damned crazy, myself. Smoking tobacco kills. Got that part. But we can choose on what grounds we will face our death. So for all y'all who share in this craziness, what natural tobacco cigarettes do you smoke?



Here are those that I’ve personally smoked or that have come highly suggested:

Natural American Spirit Cigarettes: Hipsters have made Natural American Spirits their official source of “nicotine crack” for years now. Sometimes, just sometimes, the hipsters get some things right. The aqua packs of natural organics above come from my own stash, but the Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Company’s line-up has grown quite a bit in diversity over the years. If you want to try them out, get set up to receive coupons from them on their mailing list on the main website.



Nat Sherman Naturals: I used to smoke the hell out of the “Hint of Mint” and “Hint of Clove” from Nat Sherman’s original line-up. After “The Marlboro Monopoly Act” went into effect in 2009, the clove Nats were banned; and, to get around the ban, they changed “Hint of Mint” to “Hint of Menthol” without changing the recipe. The “Hint of Menthol” is still natural tobacco – as with the rest of their line-up – and they still taste like an Andes Candy.





[photo by LiLiYi]



Lucky Strike Original Tobacco: You want proof that the criminals and rebels who created America have all left the country? Just try and find a Lucky Strike. Luckies are the very symbol of the rebel, and they’ve disappeared more and more from the shores of America. The brand is far from dead, however, and, as of 2013, they now sale an additive-free Lucky Strike in a brown box with the familiar red bulls-eye on the package.



Winston Cigarettes: One of the original “additive free” cigarettes is still alive and kicking. Their original “no additives, no bull” campaign brings back more than a little nostalgia from those who remember. This comes with a bit of controversy. Those who smoke the more popular and additive-filled cigarettes from the major companies prefer the taste and texture of Winstons over most of the other natural cigarettes. This is contrasted against the fact that those who prefer independent additive-free cigarettes, who often claim that they taste chemicals in Winstons, or say that Winstons give them headaches. Now, as of 2008, the words “additive free” no longer appear on the package. I’m including them almost entirely because they could provide a good transitional cigarette between the world of additives and the world of additive-free smokes.

If “additive free” isn’t your thing, then it ain’t no biggie. We’ll all end up in the same hole in the ground, no matter whether or not we smoke, and no matter what we put inside of what we’re smoking. So kiss your lungs and pour in that puff of lye.

“It’s the greatest moment of your life… and you’re MISSING it!”

~Tyler Durden, Fight Club