Money can’t buy you love — or a healthy sex life.

Just ask Long Island-born actress Lois Robbins. She’s one of those girls who seems to have it all: a wealthy upbringing, a rich husband — even starring TV roles.

But she tells The Post she’s still working through her demons.

“My childhood, while it looked perfect on the outside, wasn’t perfect at all,” says Robbins. Her father — a prominent real-estate businessman — “was quite successful, and my parents were into their social life and off doing other things. I was left alone a lot. It was lonely. My father was also combustible. It was either, ‘Sweetheart, the world is your oyster’ or, ‘You’re a spoiled rotten brat.’ It depended on his mood.”

Episodes like those with her dad were just the beginning of a lifetime of struggles with her relationship to men and to money. She tells all in her new self-written, one-woman show “L.O.V.E.R,” playing now off-Broadway at the Pershing Square Signature Center through Nov. 2.

“It’s about 75 percent autobiographical and 25 percent fiction,” says Robbins, an actress who has appeared in “Sex and the City,” “Younger” and “Blue Bloods.” “Having money is complicated and not having money is complicated. They both have their issues.”

The show begins with Robbins declaring, “I’ve been having orgasms since I was 3 years old,” before going on to talk about her early awareness of her body and its potential for pleasure.

In her late teens, she moved to Los Angeles to pursue her acting career. Her friends worked as waitresses to get by, but her father forbid her from doing the same. He insisted on paying her rent while she shot for the stars.

“I always walked into auditions with the sense that they were going to think that I didn’t need the job,” she says. “I felt like I had to hide who I was and pretend I was a struggling actress. I had a lot of shame associated with having privilege … [There were] definitely some daddy issues going on.”

An early boyfriend, whom she refers to as “Charlie-one-ball” because of his unique anatomy in the play, told her he expected to be “taken care of” by her well-off family in the same breath as he proposed to her. She declined.

‘Having money is complicated and not having money is complicated. They both have their issues.’

Instead, in her early 20s, she married into a rich Hollywood family and the pressure to impress was monumental. Robbins felt insecure — it didn’t help that her husband called her a “Jewish American princess” — and got a boob job. The scar tissue from the operations developed into breast cancer 13 years ago.

“If I have one regret in life it was getting those implants,” she says, adding that her treatment was successful. “I did it because I had zero self-esteem. I was adorable and I should have stayed exactly the way I was with my beautiful champagne-glass breasts. More than a handful is wasted anyway.”

Eventually, Robbins met her current husband, a finance guy, on a blind date. They’ve been married 32 years, and she says it’s the most satisfying relationship she’s ever been in — something she realized through the process of creating her new show.

“There were some experiences I had that were really hot or cosmic. But the best sex I’ve ever had is the sex that I have with [him] because of the trust,” she says, adding a line from the dramatic conclusion of her show: “Good sex is based on trust, and it isn’t between your legs, it’s between your ears.”