Where the wild things are not

In the IHTM tradition of never missing an opportunity to run a story about scantily-clad women, we bring you breaking news from Lead, South Dakota, where voters defeated a Tuesday referendum that would have allowed nude dancing in “Historic Downtown Lead.” And nude, in our opinion, trumps scantily-clad every damn time.

Stripped down to its essence, the new ordinance would have allowed nude dancing at the Wild Thing Saloon, which brought in dancers for two days in December and crowds went … well, wild.

The event drew “hundreds of extra visitors into Lead,” which really, really needs extra visitors because the biggest industry in town is the abandoned Homestake Mine where scientists now run experiments testing for cosmic particles.

Not a lot of job opportunities for the average Joe in the testing-for-cosmic-particles business, ya know?

Lead City Commissioner Casey Borsch said turnout for the referendum was “considerably higher” than normal, which we’re guessing means more people, not happier people. Voters rejected the Wild Thing idea 535-303.

Unfortunately, not every naked woman story has a happy ending. (Especially when a town gets older and there’s no lead left in either its mining shafts or its miners’ shafts. If you know what we mean.)

Oh, well. While “Historic Lead, South Dakota” languishes in the economic doldrums because of their prudish sensibilities, two miles away in “Historic Deadwood, South Dakota,” where they legalized gambling in 1989, they’re into their third decade of boom times.

Maybe the two towns should switch names?

– Written by J.P. Travis of JPAttitude.com

Source: Reuters