Today we encountered a very confusing article by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia. It’s titled: Choosing to Resist “the Genesis 3 Attack”.

What’s the Genesis 3 Attack? You’re about to find out. Here are some excerpts from Hambo’s essay, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

The very first attack, what I call “the Genesis 3 Attack,” was on God’s Word: “And [Satan] said to the woman, ‘Has God indeed said?’” (Genesis 3:1). Satan used the ploy to get Eve to question God’s Word, thus creating doubt that ultimately led to unbelief. That same attack on God’s Word has never let up and continues each day.

Hambo put “Satan” in brackets, because he isn’t named in that bible story. The actual words of Genesis 3:1 (King James version, of course) are as follows:

Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

We’ll overlook Hambo’s revision of scripture. Then he says:

Sadly, many Christians accept evolution and millions of years, the foundation of the secular religion. This evolutionary religion attacks the Word of God by undermining what God plainly told us. It’s like Satan is whispering in our ears once again: “Has God indeed said . . . ?”

Got that? When a godless evolutionist says the world is millions of years old, it’s just like Satan — or the serpent — whispering in your ear. After that he tells us:

Compromising Genesis with evolution and millions of years undermines the authority of the Word, because this involves taking ideas from outside of Scripture and forcing those ideas into Scripture. When they do this, Christians are making themselves (fallible man) the authority over God’s (infallible) Word!

Gasp — that’s heresy! Hambo continues:

Basically we’re saying that we know more than God and that we can reinterpret and edit His Word to adjust it to man’s ideas. But a Christian should never knowingly compromise God’s Word.

Your Curmudgeon is confused. We know that in over two dozen places the bible says The Earth Is Flat! It also says The Earth Does Not Move! Further, it says that pi = 3 — see Creationists And The Scriptural Value Of Pi.

But Hambo denies those scriptural doctrines! Isn’t he reinterpreting god’s word to adjust it to man’s ideas? And how many things are we told by Hambo that aren’t in the bible?

Hambo denies the clear language in Genesis that men should have one less rib than women — see Adam’s Rib Shocker: AIG Follows the Evidence. Although the bible never mentions even one ice age, Hambo insists there was one (but only one) after Noah’s Flood — see Answers in Genesis — The Ice Age. He also says there were dinosaurs and dragons on Noah’s Ark, but the bible doesn’t say that — see AIG: There Were Dragons on Noah’s Ark, and Life Aboard Noah’s Ark.

How can we trust Hambo when he tells us things contrary to — or absent from — the bible? Then he quotes some bible passages that tell us how true god’s word is, after which he says:

You see, man’s word (like evolutionary ideas) changes nearly every day, but God’s Word never changes. We need to choose to trust God’s Word and ignore the lie of “Has God indeed said . . . ?”

That’s the whole essay. So where are we? If we trust the bible — and not Hambo — we’re going to be a bunch of flat-Earthers. But when Hambo tells us things that aren’t in the bible, what should we do — ignore him? We’re confused, dear reader. What do you think?

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