Who knows. Probably not. But it’s not that big a deal.

You don’t want a Grammy?

Of course I do. I was disappointed that I didn’t get nominated. But I’ve only been around for a year. I’m friends with the Black Keys, and they were nominated for the first time this year. And they’ve been around for a decade. That’s like half my life. So I really can’t be a brat about it. I plan on making a lot more records, and hopefully one of them will be Grammy worthy.

I have a theory. Is it possible that the Recording Academy doesn’t take you seriously because they’re confusing you with the David Bowie character in the 1986 movie Labyrinth?

I hope that’s the reason. That is one of the best compliments I’ve ever received in my life.

Well you’re welcome. It really is true. In your last few videos, it looks like you’re morphing into Jareth the Goblin King.

I wish! Labyrinth is one of my favorite movies of all time. I’ve always wanted to cover that song Bowie does. [Sings.] “Dance magic dance, dance magic dance!” I would love to do it on my tour. I just can’t convince my manager that it’s a good idea.

Would you sing it with Muppets like Bowie did?

Oh, absolutely! I actually wanted to do something with Muppets when I performed on Saturday Night Live. But it didn’t work out. And now I hear that Cee Lo Green is performing with Muppets at the Grammys. I’m sorry, that’s really badass, and I’m a little jealous.

Do you have a favorite Muppet? One that you’ve been dying to collaborate with?

What’s the guy’s name who lives in garbage?

Oscar.

Oscar the Grouch! Yeah, I’d want to duet with him. We have a lot in common. We share a very similar personal philosophy on life. He and I are one in the same.

I don’t think he shares your appreciation for glitter.

Oh, I’d turn him around. I’d just throw it at him. The glitter’s not really a choice. When you’re around me, you’re going to get glitter on you. It infuriates a lot of people who hang out with me. They get glitter on them and it won’t come off for days and it ruins their game. But I think it’s incredible.

What’s your glitter budget for a typical year? It’s got to be in the thousands, right?

Honestly, it’s pretty exorbitant. It’s probably more like a few thousand every month. If you come and see a show of mine, there is no shortage of glitter. By the end, everyone from the back of the auditorium to the very front is covered and potentially choking on glitter. I am shooting glitter from glitter guns and out of every orifice in my body. It’s really a big part of what I do. It’s my goal to cover the planet in glitter and take the fuck over. I can’t do that if I don’t have a shit-ton of glitter.

Wait, did I hear you correctly? You’ve got glitter coming out of every orifice?

That’s right. I’ve found glitter in places that will not be named in this interview.

You might want to mention that to a doctor. Would you describe it as a glittery discharge?

No, it shoots out. And it’s coming from everywhere on my body. Let’s just leave it at that.

If your songs are to be believed, your life is one big lost weekend of alcohol poisoning and recreational sex. But it’s all just a metaphor, right? It’s like when Bob Dylan sings about working on Maggie’s farm. It’s not a literal representation of your life, is it?