We wombats don’t like being disturbed - if you irritate us, we sit on you until you die. The inanities of your world, like electric fences, or being hit by speeding cars, have never bothered us much. But now you humans have gotten outta hand, with your wars and bombs and poverty and Global Warming and other such uncomfortable things, so we have decided to intervene.

We can help you fix your problems, so we can go back to ignoring you. Ok?

- The Revolutionary Wombats Association.