Trump Nominates Chris Christie Ambassador to Fatfuckistan

President-elect Donald Trump announced his nomination of political ally Chris Christie as ambassador to Fatfuckistan today.

Christie, the current Governor of New Jersey, would be America's first ambassador to the island nation since it was invented by Trump this morning.

"Chris is a great fit for the job, as he's just about the same size and shape of the place," Trump remarked. "The fat fuck."

Located 800 miles east of Hawaii, the uninhabited three square-mile atoll was the site of a Japanese military outpost during World War II, and is said to be haunted by the ghosts of hundreds of soldiers who died there - many from suicide or starvation after the war's end.

"He'll be terrific. Just terrific," Trump said. "I think the sand crabs and sea turtles will really respect him."

Appearing at a mid-day press conference with the President-elect, Christie humbly accepted his new post.

"I'd like to thank my good friend Donald Trump for this opportunity -" he said before Trump shoved him offstage into a panel of lights.