The wiseguys tapped Toronto to walk on the AL East. Don’t look, though, because Baltimore jumped out of the gate with seven straight wins and have powered past their AL East rivals through the early season. That kind of performance deserves a parody of a 90’s mega hit, no?

Nuthin’ But an O’s Thang (with extreme apologies to Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg)

1, 2, 3 and to the 4

Mr. Machado n’ Chris Davis at the door

Ready to light up Camden, so back on up

(‘Cause you know we bout to rip pitches up.)

Gimme that Louisville first so I can slug off a double

DR and Charm City together, now you know you in trouble

It ain’t nuthin but an O’s thing — baby

Two WAR’ed-up sluggers so we’re crazy

Angelo is the owner that pays me

Unbeatable so please dont try to beat this (hell yeah)

So back to the season at hand

Blue Jays, Sox n’ Yankees gonna make ‘em understand

From a young O’s perspective

That before we swing at a pitch we got to check the sign at second

You never know, he could be curvin’ it man, swervin’ man

At the same time burnin’ you man

Now you know I ain’t for no K’s, Lieutenant

Ain’t no pitcher good enough to get one by when I’m swingin’

And thats realer than real beer at Brewers Field

So all you Royals and ‘Stros know how I feel

So if we’re good enough to break it off to 7-0

Pencil Baltimore for that Pennant, brah.

Win this and win that and win this and O’s

Will Win that and win this and win that and O’s

Will Win this and win that and win this and O’s

Davis, creep to the bat like a phantom.

While they’re sleepin, O’s’ll creep in and we’ll sweep em’

And be back in the air, while their people still weepin’

Now it’s time for me to make my impression felt

So sit back, relax, and strap on your seat belt

Never seen a ball fly like this before

With a first baseman who can rake and control the scoreboard

At the same time with each deep fly that I hit

You know and I know: we’re winning like ‘66

We’ll add to our collection, fall perfection

Immortalized in gold, power stroke, but don’t choke

If you do, you’ll have no clue

Of what me and my Orioles came to do

Win this and win that and win this and O’s

Will win that and win this and win that and O’s

Will win this and win that and win this and O’s

Heart attack on those pads with a hella wide first base lead

Stealin baggies left n right while them old catchers howl n scream

In the capital B, home free you see, in the A-L-T

I M undefeatable gimme O R E, MD

League best OPS, wrecking every pitcher’s night

Pimping homers and trotting my trip like my name was Harper, Bryce.

Yeah, and it don’t quit

The league is in the mood for a twenty 16 O’s hits (Hell yeah!)

So Davis (Whattup M?)

Gotta give them what they want (What’s that, yo?)

We gotta break em off something (Hell yeah!)

The hits gotta be bumpin’ (Charm City rockin!)

Renaissance takin’ place, you just watch our ascension

Clobberin’ every other club without even flinchin’

Dropping the crooked innings that’s making the sucker pitchers mumble

When I’m at the bat, it’s like a cookie: they all crumble

Try to throw smoke, and that crap’ll get smacked

My other slugger homie Schoop Dogg has got my back

Sluggin never slips, cause my BABIP is always rippin’

And if I got my K/9 down you know my bat’s flippin

And I’mma continue to keep the bat down, rip the gaps now

And if you pitchers won’t quit, I’ll have to throw the smack down

Yeah, Chris Davis don’t stop

I told you I’m just like a clock when I tick and I tock

Crush is never off, always launch all these homerun hombs

See it going, going, gone! Like Hall of Famer Eddie Murray,

Stringin those all hits together

Come October you will see, No One Can Do it Better

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