Is there even a 7 train anymore, or is it all an illusion of the mind, like Descartes's melting wax? Last year, the 7 was suspended between Times Square and Queensboro Plaza for 13 weekends, and now it looks like Ol' Purple's up to her old tricks, intermittently shutting down service between Manhattan and Queens for 22 FRIGGIN WEEKENDS starting next month. Brooklynites, hug the L train tight tonight.

The MTA tells us the closures are, once again, thanks to the "the continued installation of CBTC (Communications-Based Train Control), the replacement of critical track panels, and reconstruction inside the Steinway Tube under the East River," although at this point they might as well dig up all the tracks and convert the line into a flying hover train. Here's the new shutdown and revised service schedule, courtesy of the MTA: cry at will.