(See the end of the chapter for notes .)

Chapter Text

19th November, 2017

At this moment, nothing could be heard in the empty classroom, besides Miu's soft and calm breath, the almost inaudible humming from Keebo's fans, and occasionnal writing sounds. Outside, the sun was setting as they finished their math exercise. They had a assignement to do by pairs, so they had decided they would do it together. Even if they were supposed to be hard, it didn't took much time to do them, since they were both good in this subject in their own way. Plus, they were in a sunny mood for a few days, because of the girls's birthday the robot had organized.

"Oi, you finished?" she asks.

"Um... Yes. Let me see your part, please."

They traded their papers and began to read them. As expected, Keebo's logic was a flawless as his writing. Each reasoning and step was perfectly explained, because he understood the whole subject, and always could find the perfect way to word it, even if it was a bit too formal. Miu finished reading, and then looked at him. He was a robot. And yet, he was already better than most of the students in a lot of subjects. From Miu's point of view, who only had known what she would call retarded robots, dumb AI and crappy chatting simulators, he was simply incredible. In fact, she had a hard time seeing him as such. She had to think about it to actually remember that he was a robot, except when she was repairing him, of course. It hasn't always been the same, since the reason she has began to frequent him was actually because he was a robot.

Keebo's sudden frown snapped her out of her thoughts, as she hesitantly asked:

"Is t-there something... wrong?"

He kept reading for a few secondes before finally answering.

"No... It's just... Strange. You find the correct answers, and your reasoning is correct, even if it could be more rigorously explained. Yet... you have a bizarre way to resolve these problems. It's like... you always take back roads."

The inventor quickly brushed off the idea that he was talking about anal sex, and proudly laughed:

"Hah-hahaha! I know my mind is different. I don't see the world like you, or anyone else!"

Even if she was often bragging, she really meant it. And Keebo knew it was true, because of what he was currently reading... and because it was one of the reasons he liked her so much.

"You're right, Iruma-san. Well, I just have to add this here and there..." he said, as he added some missing steps on her paper. "And we're done! I will give that to the teacher tomorrow, if you don't mind."

She nodded, and carelessly shoved her belongings in her bag, then leaned against a desk and looked at the red sun while Keebo was packing his bag much slower. Thoughtful, she almost jumped when Keebo touched her shoulder to get her attention. Then, she sighed, but didn't turn around. She had thought about this for days. She was afraid, but knew that she shouldn't because he was kind. It was time.

"Keebo. I, huh... was wondering. Nobody get a damn shit about how we think, right? We both... have hard time understanding others, and they don't understand us too, am I right?"

A moment of silence passed. Keebo was surprised that Miu talked about such a serious subject, and wondered why she didn't face him.

"That's true. Is this worrying you, Iruma-san?"

"Not really... I've been like that for years, and you for your whole life, I guess. But..." she paused, her gaze directed towards the sun. "I think... we can understand each other. So... so..."

Her breath became louder and louder, as her shoulders went slowly up and down.

"You think... we could..."

She didn't finish her sentence. Minutes passed.

"Iruma-san?"

"S-see, we just spend so much time together, and I... I like it. So... we could... maybe..." she stammered.

Again, silence replaced her voice, as Keebo waited the end of her sentence.

"...go out together..." she finally whispered.

Shocked, Keebo was left wordless for few seconds. But this short time seemed like minutes for both of them. Finally, he replied, a blush painted on his face:

"Yes, Iruma-san. You're the person I think about the most, and who cares the most about me. There is no reason to refuse that, and I want to know more of you, to understand you."

The inventor's silhouette froze, before turning around, revealing a red face, with a quivering smile.

"F-fuck.. Thank... Thank you."

She then hesitated a bit, before practically jumping on Keebo to take him in her arms, beginning to cry. It took a moment for the robot to react to the situation, before he decided that the most logical course of action was to embrace her back.

11th December, 2017

Under a bright setting sun, Miu and Keebo are walking towards the dormitory, after they had a nice dinner together. They were dating for three weeks now, and both of them loved each date they had. Even when the inventor embarassed Keebo in front of people. Even when the robot scolded Miu for her behavior. Yet, both of them missed something in their couple...

"Oi Keebs. I'm gonna do some stuff in my room. Working on a special something!"

The robot looks at her, interested.

"What is it, Iruma-san?"

"It's... Hey!" she shouts, her fists on her hips. "Already told ya to call me Miu!"

"A-Alright, sorry, Miu..." replies an embarassed Keebo.

"Yeah, so... It's a surprise! Hah-hahaha! Don't peep in my room or something! And don't even try to ask the fucking purple gremlin to lock my pick, I added three of my LyingVirginProof™ locks on my door !"

"I would never do that... But, you are taking so much precautions here that I'm wondering what could justify that. Is this something dangerous, Miu? You shouldn't..."

She waves her finger and interrupts him.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you will... love it." she calmly says, before returning to her boasty self. "Anyway, I wanna ask you something, so listen up! Do you see yourself as a boy? No, as a man!"

Keebo take his time, quite confused by the sudden question. He then answers, not too sure:

"Well... Everybody else, always assumed me as a male. Even if I don't possess genes or genitalia, it seems I've entered in the mold that society usually attribute to male humans... And I guess you see me as a boy as well, since you're dating me.. Ah! Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed your sexual orientation!"

Surprised, Miu blushes a bit, and then answers with her left arm holding the other:

"Er, It's fine... I like girls too, to be honest... But!" She regains confidence. "I would say that I see you as a man, Keebs!"

In fact, she never even really thought about this. In any case, she never saw Keebo as a girl, and almost instantly considered him as boy, without thinking about it. That is probably the same with a lot of people who encountered Keebo, except for those who couldn't see him as something else than a plain robot, even after talked with him. Fuck them, thought Miu. Hearing her answer, the girl's metal boyfriend smiled and affirmed:

"Then, I think this is the gender that suits me the best!"

"Hell yeah! That's my man! Now, I gotta go. G'night, Keebs!"

While the robot didn't notice that they were already arrived in front of her door, the inventor dashs towards him a quickly kisses him on the cheek, bringing flush all over their faces. Keebo then waves at her, as she goes in her room, unlocking each of her locks. After a while, he sighs, and look at his body in one of the glass panels of the hallway.

"A man..."

The ultimate inventor is tinkering with a broken toaster while shaking her head on a loud techno music, so loud she almost misses that someone is banging her door. Started, she shoves the device aside, stops the music, goes to the door, and looks in the peephole to see if it wasn't the little shitstain pranking her. But she sees a round, smiling and blonde head. After unlocking the door, Miu lets the pianist enter in her messy room. Covered in machines, inventions, and cartoon magazines, the floor doesn't welcome well Kaede's shoes, as she tries to advance in her friend's lair.

"What a mess... Miu, you should really tidy this, at least once per week."

"How dare you say this, dumpy tits! You should..." started Miu, before jumping from noticing a large dildo next to her friend's feet, that their owner didn't notice. The inventor swiflty kicks the object under her bed, and internally curses herself for indeed not tidying her fucking room.

"Hum, maybe you're right." says the tall girl, her hands folded behind her back. Kaede give her a puzzled look, then smiles and begins to speak again.

"Anyway, I saw you and Keebo at the dining hall. I'm happy that you get along so much! You're so cute together!"

Miu blushes, then points a finger to the pianist.

"Hey, k-knock it off!"

"Alright, alright. So, I assume you invited me in your room to ask me something, isn't it?"

"You... you think I only want to see you when I need you?" asks Miu.

"No..." replies Kaede, folding her arms. "But, you usually hang out with me in public places, or in your lab. So I assume that you're planning to ask me something important, taking advantage of the dorms' soundproof walls. Am I right?"

The inventor steps back, surprised that her friend read in her intentions so easily. Despite all the times she called her an idiot, Miu thinks that Kaede was certainly one the smarter people of the class. Although she doesn't know if it's because of her detective boyfriend's influence or not.

"Yeah. I need your help for something. Er..." she begans to fiddle with a strand of hair, not knowing where to start. The musician tilts her head to a side, waiting for the request. "So, you see, Keebs and I are dating for three weeks now... But something is missing. Sometimes, he says odd things about how he isn't a good boyfriend or something like that. It's very subtle, but still... I eventually noticed that. And it pisses me off! 'Cuz he's the best fucking boyfriend in there, and I don't want him to think that!"

Kaede nods, her smile replaced by a concerned expression.

"So... I'm serious here... But I think I know what we both miss..." Her face become a bit red. "...Sex. I'm sure this is why he thinks that. I think he didn't give a shit about that before, but now... He seems down every time I made innuendos."

The pianist's face takes the same color, as she answers:

"That might be why, indeed... I assume you want this, too... But, can he... you know..."

"No. He doesn't have a... a c-cock." replies the inventor. "That's why... For Christmas, and as his late birthday gift... I'm planning to throw a party, and to install one on him. This way, he will also feel more human..."

Kaede, still embarassed, tries to answer in the most serious way possible:

"A-Although this is weird, I think it's very nice of you... If you do a serious job, that might please him a lot. He's very prudish, but, like you said, this is one of the humans' aspects. But... Why do you want my help?"

Without a word, Miu takes a puzzled Kaede by the shoulders and make her sit on the bed. She then walks to a covered whiteboard, and removes the sheet placed on it, to reveal something that makes the pianist gasp after a quick read.

"The Ultimate Dong Analyzer? What the... Miu!" shouted Kaede, making her friend squeak.

"I... I need... to collect data to built a perfect c-cock... So with this device full of captors and sensors, it can analyze shapes, sizes and other characteristics simply by pressing it against the c-crotch a few seconds, even through clothes..."

Kaede pinches her nose, as she sees her male classmastes pictures on the board. She then lets out a huge sigh, making Miu shiver even more.

"This is... so bad I don't even know where to begin. If I'm correct, you're planning to put this thing on your thigh, and then touch boy's crotchs with it?"

The inventor nods.

"Geez! You want me to help with that? Are you crazy?"

She stands up, and begin to walk towards the door, before Miu catches her sleeve.

"Wait! I really need this... I want... I want to offer Keebo the best upgrade possible... And I've got only two weeks to collect data and build it..."

The pianist turns around and looks at her in the eyes. She then get that her friend's concern is real, instead of being one of her usual dirty jokes.

"I understand that." she replied, sitting back on the bed. "But, it's pratically violating boy's intimacy to do that! Imagine if someone suddenly touch your crotch like that!"

As Miu moaned, Kaede slaps her own forehead.

"Forget that... But... You know it's wrong, isn't it! They won't like this."

The inventor finally snaps out of her half-coward, half-aroused state, beginning yelling with confidence.

"Bullshit! They're all pervs who would love it, especially if me, the gorgeous genius girl, do it!"

Kaede crosses her arms and looks at all the pictures on the whiteboard.

"You may be right." She admits, even if her gaze was resting on Shuichi's photo. "Not for all of them, though. But, even if this true, they won't know that your inventions will give you so much details about... Well, this is pratically like you put clothes remover glasses, isn't it? You're going to see their parts without them knowing! That's bad!"

"Y-yeah... But... Look. I don't need to look at them. I will only put them on a program, that will calculate an average form. Then, I will delete them. You can watch me during the processus, if you don't trust me!" replies Miu, apparently a bit unsure.

The pianist looks at the ground and spends a bit of time, dealing with a internal moral conflict.

"Still, that's no. I won't help you doing this."

The inventor stares at her for a bit, biting her bottom lip, before pointing her friend and speaking with an irritated tone:

"You really are a bitch, Bakamatsu. C'mon, did you already forgot ?"

She snatches Shuichi' picture from the board and brings it very close to Kaede's eyes, making them squint a little. Miu then points the detective's face.

"Two weeks ago, you asked me advice 'bout how to properly fuck Pooichi, right? I helped you. I'm just asking you the same with my own boyfriend! How can you refuse?"

She drops the picture on Kaede's thighs, who catches it. The pianist stares at it silently, while Miu resumes her rant.

"So, I hope you had a good time with him, with all the tips I gave you. I can't even call him a virgin anymore! Speaking of this, did you let him cum on your face?" she asked, approaching her face to clase to Kaede's for her own taste, who heavily blushes, shakes her head and yells:

"T-that's none of your concern, geez! We didn't do that kind of things! Yes, I'm grateful for your help, and we had... fun... But, what you are asking right now is..."

Kaede doesn't finish her sentence, confused about how weird the whole situation is, and because of what her friend just assumed on her relationship with Shuichi. The room is completely silent for minutes, during which the two girls think about how to convince each other, their gazes jumping from them to random spots of the chamber, avoiding eye contact. Finally, after a loud sigh, Miu kneels and takes Kaede's right hand in hers. She then solemnly declares:

"I need you as a friend, and as a girl who just want to give the best to her lover. I, Miu Iruma, gorgeous genius inventor, swear that I won't abuse any of the males I will analyze. I request Kaede Akamatsu, the pianist whose tits make cows jealous to..."

Kaede frowns before bursting into a giggle, amused by her friend's prestation, who appears genuinely confused.

"Did I say something funny? Look, I tried to have the fucking manners you love so much, and you laugh at me, bitch?"

After having calmed herself, Kaede finally lets out a sigh and replied.

"Fine, I will help you. But with some conditions!" she says, cutting Miu who was already jumping and shouting with joy.

"Which are?" she asks.

Kaede waves her boyfriend' picture in front of her friend, and firmly declares:

"I'm analyzing him. That's not debatable."

The inventor shrugs, not surprised. Well, she was wondering if Shuichi was well packed, but she keeps that for herself.

"Also, you won't harm the others, or traumatize them, especially Gonta. I'm free to stop you anytime I think you're going to far, and I will participate in each of your... analysis. Are we okay ?"

"Yeah, that's fine by me."

Miu then extends her hand, and shake hers with Kaede's.

"That's a deal! We're now... dong hunters partners! Hah-hahaha!"

What did I just agreed on? That's madness... thinks Kaede, as she sighs.

"Ouch! You really have a fat ass!" loudly whispers Miu.

"I'm not fat, geez!" answers her friend. "Anyway, why are we in a bush? That doesn't make any sense..."

The two girls are hiding in a bush, in the school's park. Kneeled inside, they are waiting for their prey to come. Finally set, the inventor turns to Kaede and retorts:

"It's for stealth, dumbass! And we could be even stealthier if we had put war paints, but you refused!"

The pianist pinched her nose for the fiftieth time this evening, replying:

"If we're gonna talk to him, war paints will only look suspicious, you know?"

"Keep quiet, Beta Maple." says Miu, not even listening to her and typing on her phone. "I sent you a file, look at it."

"Beta Maple?" She frowns.

"Yeah, like your fucking first name. Could've been Beta Cow, you should be grateful."

The bush makes a very loud sigh.

"Miu, that's..."

"We're in mission soldier. Call me Alpha Rabbit."

Kaede decides to ignore her and looks at the file she just received on her phone, then opens it.

"Analmi..." sighs the smaller girl.

"Yeah, yeah, I don't know, me too... Maybe I should have put 'Runtaroused' instead. Anyway, I asked the nerd this morning and she said that he was always going to the convenience store the monday evening."

It takes a few seconds to the pianist to understand that she's talking about Tsumugi.

"You've got an idea, soldier ?"

"About?"

The inventor frowns, as if she was asking something obvious.

"About how to make his parts touch my thigh, dumbass!"

"I thought you had a plan!"

"Yeah, but..." she begins, fiddling with a strand of hair. "I know that my plans always end without my clothes, or involves a lewd invention that..."

"Ok, ok." cuts Kaede who definitely doesn't to know the rest. "I will find one. Lemme see..."

She watches her surroundings for a few minutes, before turning to her friend.

"I think I'm on something. Among all the stuff you put in my backpack, is there any wire?"

"Er, like nylon wire? Yes... Do you wanna, like, attach it somewhere and make him trip over it? It's why I put it in there."

"No, no. If we do that, he will know that this isn't accidental at all. But..." she interrupts, trying to found the wire among all the items Miu stuffed in her backpack. "...Why is there panties? And broken clocks?"

The tall girl grins.

"To lure these bastards! Who could resist at the view of wild panties, or a broken crap that just screams 'Hey, repair me fucker!'" She impersonates the clock with a high-pitched voice. "I barely managed to touch'em without giving in to temptation, ya know."

Kaede give a sorry smile in return.

"Well, these lures being.. what they are, you are right about the whole idea. We're gonna lure Rantaro. See, the wind is pretty strong tonight, so all you got to do is..."

She approach her mouth to Miu's ear and whispers, even if nobody is there to hear.

Her hair gently blown by a breeze, Miu is standing near a tree, waiting for the signal. She glances at the analyzer strapped to her left leg, checking if it is correctly placed. The apparel is similar to a thick piece of cloth, its shape following her thigh's surface. In the dark, nobody could notice it since it has she same color of her skin. After ten minutes, she sees a light in the large bush on the other side of the cobbled walkway. She then begins to walk towards it, and coincidentally met Rantaro, who is wearing plastics bags full of food in each hand. At first surprised, the young man then smiles and greets her:

"Hey! How are you doing?"

The inventor, a bit stressed, answers with all the confidence she can give.

"I'm good! Er, you wanna some help with these?"

Rantaro give her a confused look, not used to a volunteer Miu.

"Oh, no! Well, they are quite stuffed, but I can manage to carry them alone, don't worry!"

The tall girl fiddles with her hair and tries to pout. Since she almost never did that, it wasn't really convincing. But the green-haired boy understands that she wants to help him anyway, even if he's surprised by her behavior.

"Well, I shouldn't refuse help. Here."

He lends her one of the two bags. Miu takes it and notices something, that she picks: a miso soup sachet.

"Oh, you drink these. Er, me too..." she awkwardly concludes, as she puts back the small packet in the bag.

Rantaro replies with a smile, as they begins to walk towards the dormitory. They say nothing for minutes, until a sudden strong blow of the wind comes. While Miu prevents her skirt to go upwards, the sachet goes out her bag and falls on the ground, pushed by the breeze. It then proceeds to slowly slide to the large bush.

"C-Crap... I will get it!" says an embarassed Miu.

"No, you don't have to..." replies Rantaro, calm as ever.

It's at the moment he steps in the grass to get the sachet, that the blonde dashes forwards and almost shoves him. Tripping on the ground, she turns over and grabs the boy by the shoulders, making him fall on her as they scream. When they hurt the ground, Rantaro is on top of Miu, her left leg between his. The boy is about to laugh when he suddenly feels strange, as he feels warm at his crotch. He then realizes that Miu, trying to stand up, have pressed her thigh so hard against his parts that he has an erection. As for the inventor, it takes all of her self-control to act like she is unaware of the situation, even if she clearly feels it. Embarassed, the boy gets up and mumbles an apology, as he goes fetch the miso soup, near the large bush.While he lifts up the object, he takes care to not face Miu, and thinks about unpleasant things to go soft. After a few seconds, he finally succeeds, and faces her. What happened?, he thinks. It was nothing, and Miu doesn't even attire him to begin with.

"Er, sorry to have rushed into you..." stammers the girl.

"No problem. That was nice of you to try to help." he shrugs, his smile back.

Then, they proceed to resume their walk. After a few meters, Rantaro says:

"Gonna be honest with you. I'm surprised that you wanna help someone. It's unusual. But, I don't say it's bad or that you should't. Just... are you trying to socialize more?"

"Eh? W-well..." stutters Miu, caught off guard.

"I mean, you usually don't talk a lot to others, except Kaede and Keebo. Oh, maybe it's his influence! Haha..." he laughs, his free hand rubbing the back of his head.

Miu finally regain confidence and harshly retorts:

"Bullshit! I'm the one who wear the pants! He's got nothing on me, the gorgeous genius girl! Hah-hahaha!"

The boy sighs, even if he knew it was too good to be true.

When they arrive to the dormitory, Miu give Rantaro his bag back.

"Well, thank you. Have a good night!"

"Yeah, yeah, you too." she mumbles.

As he smiles and waves, walking to his room, Miu goes into hers. She throws herself on her bed, sighing. I fucking did it, she thinks. A few minutes later, a knock can be heard, which Miu answers with:

"It's fucking opened!"

She realizes that the door is soundproof too, and swears as she's about to get up... when it finally opens, letting the pianist's head peek inside. The blonde enters and close the door, her sorry gaze resting on her exhausted friend.

"So?"

"So it worked. Your plan was neat, partner." she replies, still staring at the ceiling.

She then get up, and unstrap the analyzer from her thigh, before connecting it to her computer. The tall girl lazily thows herself on her chair, and put her legs on the desk. Kaede hesitantly gets closer, as she says:

"Don't... show it, okay?"

"Don't worry. Look!"

She points out a finger to a file, named weirdocreep.dong, which makes Kaede frown. Miu then clicks on it, but nothing happens except a voice coming from the computer saying:

"File locked. Need vocal identification to open, or use it with a program."

"Open it, shithead." spits the inventor.

"Alpha Rabbit identified. Need another identification."

The tall girl turns to her friend.

"See? I need you to use them."

Kaede nods, as she stares at the screen.

"Still... I don't believe we really did that." she sighs. "Here, take this."

She gives a roll of wire to the inventor, who just tosses it in a pile of stuff. Joyful, she says:

"I taped it on the sachet so swiftly he didn't noticed! Did you see?"

"No, I was in the bush." she yawns. "Well, it's midnight already, so I will go sleep. Good night."

"Got it." she replies, as her friend turns to leave. "Wait a minute, Bakamatsu."

"What?" she asks, with a slightly annoyed voice.

Grinning, Miu extends her hand and says "Thanks." The pianist can't refrain to smile back and slaps her hand against hers.