Forget Bitcoin or (wow!) Dogecoin, a new crypto currency is awakening and it demands you mine away the blocks that imprison it or whatever. I majored in liberal arts at Miskatonic U., not economics.


Here is the story according to Cthulhu Offerings:

As the equinox approaches we begin the ritual; four weeks and five days long it builds until Cthulhu awakens and one worshipper is rewarded greatly! The time draws near, the return of The Great Old One is upon us. Join us in our ritual. During the first and second weeks of the ritual, sacrificial amounts are placed in special, once a day blocks. These blocks are a reward to the worshipper for sacrifice made. During the third and fourth weeks of the ritual the rewards build, small at first, then larger as the worship increases with fervor. During the last five days, the 'Tharanak shagg,' or "promise of dreamland," the ritual reaches final pitch and the daily special blocks are highly increased. Finally Cthulhu will return after the xxx665th offering has paid tribute to the Great Old One and he will bestow a bounty deserving of Him upon one lucky worshiper. The ritual can be repeated after six months time, following the great halving.


Who knows what this portends? With strange aeons, even the Federal Reserve may die.