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CNN IS ISIS BILL CLINTON IS A RAPIST INFOWARS DOT COM MAGA YOLO

00:00 - 00:03 Buzzfeed called and they are sending a courier with our next story.

00:04 - 00:05 He is leaving DC right now

00:05 - 00:07 And on his way to Atlanta.

00:08 - 00:12 It involves Russia, urine, and the Miss America Pageant

00:12 - 00:15 But we cannot confirm that any of it is true.

00:17 - 00:19 When have we ever cared about fact checking?

00:19 - 00:21 Fact checking doesn't get us ratings

00:24 - 00:26 Mr. Zucker

00:27 - 00:28 The president....

00:31 - 00:33 The president tweeted a wrestling gif

00:34 - 00:36 And #revokeCNN is trending

00:53 - 00:58 Everyone leave except Acosta, Cooper, and that drunk faggot Lemon

01:13 - 01:15 A FUCKING GIF!?

01:15 - 01:17 HE TWEETED A FUCKING GIF!?

01:18 - 01:23 I PAY GOOD MONEY FOR SOCIAL MEDIA CONTENT

01:25 - 01:28 AND THAT BASTARD TRUMP GETS SHITPOSTS FOR FREE!

01:29 - 01:31 THAT STUPID BITCH BROOK BALDWIN

01:31 - 01:34 DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO 4CHAN IS!

01:34 - 01:37 WE ASKED TIME WARNER FOR HIS IP ADDRESS AND ALL THEY

01:37 - 01:40 SENT US WAS PICTURES OF A STUPID FUCKING FROG!

01:40 - 01:42 SIR HE'S NOT JUST A FROG. HIS NAME IS PEPE.

01:42 - 01:46 WHAT ARE YOU WORKING WITH JAMES OKEEFE NOW OR SOMETHING?

01:46 - 01:48 SIR, I DID GET DRUNK AT LUNCH THE OTHER DAY WITH A BRITISH MAN.

01:48 - 01:52 OH FUCKING GREAT I BET HE WAS WEARING A CAMERA TOO

01:53 - 01:54 EVERYBODY HAS A FUCKING CAMERA NOWADAYS

01:56 - 01:57 VAN JONES, JIMMY CARR,

01:57 - 02:00 THAT DRUNK PRODUCER WHO GIVES BLOWJOBS IN THE BATHROOM!

02:00 - 02:03 WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN THAT WE ONLY TELL THE TRUTH

02:04 - 02:08 IN THE BOARD ROOM WHEN WE KNOW NO ONE IS LISTENING!

02:08 - 02:13 I AM SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING CHANGING OUR "NO DRINKING BEFORE NOON" POLICY TO "NO DRINKING BEFORE 3!"

02:14 - 02:16 AND IF THE TWC MERGER DOESN'T HAPPEN THIS YEAR

02:17 - 02:21 I'LL BE AT SHAREBLUE, SUCKING DAVID BROCK'S DICK, AND TALKING TO NERD VIRGINS ALL DAY

02:27 - 02:29 FUCKING DAVID BROCK.

02:30 - 02:34 YOU KNOW HE FUCKS KIDS WITH THAT COMET PIZZA GUY.

02:34 - 02:36 I don't want to fuck kids and eat pizza all day

02:41 - 02:42 I mean, I do...

02:43 - 02:47 JUST NOT WITH THAT CREEPY HAIRCUT FUCKER DAVID BROCK AND HIS COMET PIZZA CUM GUZZLER BOYFRIEND

02:48 - 02:53 GEORGE SOROS DID NOT GIVE ME THIS JOB SO SOME ORANGE FACED ASSHOLE COULD FUCK IT UP WITH A TWEET

02:54 - 02:56 He tweets in the mornings, the evenings...

02:56 - 02:59 He tweets before we can even reply to his last tweet!

03:00 - 03:02 WHERE DID HE LEARN TO SHITPOST LIKE THAT!

03:04 - 03:07 This is fake news, don't worry.

03:14 - 03:16 We have to find the source of this gif.

03:19 - 03:23 Call spez and get u/hanassholesolo's ip address and send it to Time Warner

03:25 - 03:26 They'll have his name.

03:31 - 03:33 We're doxxing that motherfucker.

03:40 - 03:46 I don't care if he's 15 years old. We are going to make that guy pay for his pro-Trump shitposts

03:46 - 03:49 Then everyone will know not to fuck with CNN.