Graham, L. et al.

Critics from PETA have made a storm online after it was announced that for the 92nd year in a row, the Academy award did not nominate a single non-human actor or director. The nomination announcements drew criticism from Animal Actor Twitter, and before long the hashtag #OscarThumbsSoOpposable was trending.

PETA issued a statement saying that the academy voters overlooked incredible performances by actors of species in order to celebrate another year of “human mediocrity.”



“I cannot believe they snubbed Jordan Peele’s Us. Ser Bun-Bun played 263 different rabbits in that movie!” said fellow Us cast member Pumpkin-Nutter Wilson.



Many critics assumed the first animal nomination would happen in the 1990s, when a string of talented dog actors, including Lassie and Beethoven, emerged as leading men.



Goldy, an indie director whose films are known for having biodiverse casts, was convinced that a certain young retriever could wow the voters.



“We really thought Buddy would be the academy breakthrough,” said Goldy, referring to Air Buddy, the star of the Air Bud franchise until his death the next year at 9. “We were shocked when the Oscars still snubbed on the heels of his back-to-back Kids Choice Awards! Like, that’s messed up. He could have had Jack Nicholson’s entire career.”



In addition to the lack of professional awards, rumours swirled for years that young animal actors were being harassed by humans on set. The issue was finally discussed openly after feline actor Paddington Jones revealed that an unnamed actress gave him “heavy pats” when he was just 8 years old.

Even now, animal actors are mostly forced to do scenes strip naked, which can garner them a different fan demographic than human actors.

“There are disturbing websites where users list the time in the movie where they can see my whole teats,” said actress Princess Fluffypoo Jones, who is featured on MovieTeatTimes.org’s most watched video.

PETA, who has been busy lately, launched this campaign along with renewed cries to boycott Seal and Tiger Woods, who they accuse of appropriating animal names.

When asked if they were concerned about the lack of nominations for black, asian or indigenous artists, PETA spokesperson Madelynn Rockwell said that on screen racial diversity would never be more important than getting dogs metal statues they can’t chew.

