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Being diagnosed with cancer is everyone’s nightmare, but for Stuart Boddy, the worst part was breaking the news to his three sons. He tells Kirstie McCrum why he wants to use his own illness to help other men avoid having ‘the chat’ with their friends and family

STUART Boddy has enjoyed the life of a real action man as an ex-Forces, former rugby-playing fitness fanatic with three sons he adores.

But the 53-year-old sales manager is the first to point out that it takes just one event to change the way someone looks at life forever.

For Stuart, from Rhwbina, Cardiff, being given a diagnosis of prostate cancer in September 2011 was that event. He went from being unstoppable to feeling vulnerable and admits that it was very painful to accept.

“When I was first diagnosed, it hurt me and I felt very vulnerable and uncomfortable because if you ask anyone who knows me, I have this reputation of being indestructible,” he said.

“I’ve always been very fit and I was training until I was nearly dropping down dead and then I went to my GP and they found out I had cancer.

“At first I wasn’t sure if I wanted anybody to know, but then I thought, ‘I’m not scared of this’. You can either live with it and deal with it or you can decide to do some good. I’d be lying if I said that was my first reaction – when it first happened, I felt very vulnerable and I knew I was going to go through bad times.

“I lost stones in weight in the first couple of months and my hair started coming out in clumps so it was uncomfortable, but that’s why I went back to the gym. I know I shocked a lot of people in training because they would say, ‘you can’t be ill, you’re too fit’, but I tell everyone that it doesn’t work like that.”

In fact, the reaction to Stuart’s diagnosis shocked him so much that he felt duty-bound to do something to raise the profile of prostate cancer, and to let men know that they’re in charge of checking up on their own health.

“When I told one of my best mates I had to have quite an intrusive examination, he said, ‘I’d rather die’. You get men saying stupid things.”

When it came to telling his children – Christopher, 24, Henry who is 19 and Archie, who is three – Stuart says that he has faced nothing tougher.

“My whole thing was when I had to tell my sons – it absolutely broke my heart and if I can stop men from having to have that chat, having to say, ‘do you know what, guys, I’m going to die because I was too stupid to notice the signs’, then that would be great.

“Having prostate cancer has wrecked my life, and more importantly it has wrecked my sons’ lives, because they thought I was indestructible.”

Handling his diagnosis has brought out the fighter in Stuart, who has taken his devotion to fitness to new levels. He’s even been spurred on to commit to challenges he wouldn’t have dreamed of in the past.

“Bannatyne’s gym has been a bit of a solace for me. I’ve gone in there late at night when I’ve been feeling down and there’s no-one else there when I wanted to get my strength back and they’ve let me get on with it. I have ups and downs with my health now, I can’t even get out of bed some days,” he reveals.

In the name of fundraising, Stuart has secured one of Cancer Research Wales’ golden ballot places for the 2013 London Marathon and he’s also aiming to complete 2,437 sit-ups in one session to represent the 2,437 men that were diagnosed with prostate cancer in Wales in 2010.

“I’ve never done a marathon, I’m a rugby player, my longest run is probably 30 yards. This is way out of my comfort zone.

“When they told me about the 2,437 men, I just thought, ‘I need to do something with that figure’. I’ve always been known for my sit-ups and I said I was going to do my sit-ups and the marathon and everyone laughed, which meant I definitely had to do it! I’ve got a big mouth, but hopefully I can help someone like me,” he says.

Stuart is being treated for his cancer as part of a research programme with the Royal Marsden in London, one of the UK’s leading cancer hospitals.

“I wanted to be in this because they said due to how fit I am, I would probably react better than using an 85-year-old man. I would rather they use me and I'm open to being used as a guinea pig, so I'm waiting to hear what they want to do next.”

Stuart says that since he’s been diagnosed, he’s been horrified by how men view cancer and their misapprehension in dealing with diseases like it.

“One of my mates went, ‘did you catch it?’ and I said, ‘catch cancer?’. They were very ignorant and it just struck me how ill-informed they all were.

“When I’m in the gym, I tell the lads to tell their dads to have a prostate-specific antigen (PSA) test at their surgery. I call it an MOT every year – ladies do it, but we blokes don’t. We run cars like that, but when it comes to us, we just keep going until something falls off.

“I’m like a converted person at the moment, this has opened my eyes. If I have to have this, I’ll do something to stop someone else going through what I’ve been through. I tell men, if not for you, do it for your children. I absolutely idolise my sons, so I’m doing this for them as well.

“First of all I want to show them that Dad’s still got a bit of fight in him and secondly, I don’t want something like this to happen to my boys.”

Prostate cancer: the facts

PROSTATE cancer is the most common cancer in men in Wales. In the UK, more than 40,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer every year. More than 250,000 men are currently living with the disease.

The risk of prostate cancer in men increases as they age.

Prostate cancer can grow slowly or very quickly. Most prostate cancer is slow-growing to start with and may never cause any problems or symptoms in a man’s lifetime. However, some men will have cancer that is more aggressive or high risk. This needs treatment to help prevent or delay it spreading outside the prostate gland.

In the majority of cases, long-term control of the disease is achieved through radiotherapy, hormone therapy and surgery.

Cancer Research Wales is currently funding groundbreaking research into the role of the immune system in treating men with advanced prostate cancer.

For more information, go to www.crw.org.uk

Stuart’s sit-up challenge will take place at Bannatynes Gym, Llanishen, Cardiff on April 19. To donate to his charitable challenges, go to www.justgiving/Stuart-Boddy.com