In the frantic quest to shoehorn Andrew Mitchell into the correct historico-fictional pigeonhole, the first step is to rule out one superficially compelling analogy. Now you might say that Mr Mitchell is, at the time of writing, Chief Whip. You might point out that he, just like Francis Urquhart, became an Army lieutenant at 19; and that also like Urquhart (Twilight Zone theme, maestro, please), he served in Cyprus during the Greco-Turkish troubles. You might add that the man known as “Thrasher” to schoolmates at Rugby, alma mater of Flashman, is absolutely the type of chap who likes to put a bit of stick about, and make ’em jump. You might say that his foul-mouthed rant at a copper richly qualifies him for the Urquhartian nickname of FU.