skepticalbystander:

I don’t want to show my stupid, but I will. delusionalintrospection: skepticalbystander: delusionalintrospection: factualwiley: First off, check these three images. Oh God, this betch. Well, here’s the chick from the last screen-cap So here’s the poll from the 2004 RP forum

Also, as a little bit more proof, here’s the Demisexual Google trend. In the early 2000s and farther back, you won’t find much about… Yes, we are all aware the word got an absurd start. The simple fact of the matter is it now has a meaning that is differant. That happens with languages. :) Leave people alone. Let them identify as whatever they want, if it’s not hurting anyone else. If someone wants to say ‘I’m demi-sexual’, please, tell me how the hell that hurts you.



THIS IS NOT OKAY STOP TRYING TO ERASE THIS SHIT. Being grey-a, I get this same fucking treatement. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. And I am not going to be quiet about this. I have literally been told by a guy that asexuality didn’t exist, and that I just needed the ‘right man’. Because so many other people told me this- people like this douchenozzle, who refuses to just shut the fuck up and let people alone- told me that my sexuality wasn’t real, didn’t exist, was a made up pile of BS and I was just ‘inexperianced’. That I was just ‘wrong’. So I lay there, under this guy, letting him touch me and kiss me and do things to me I didn’t fucking want. But I didn’t say anything because I WAS TOO EMBARESSED. BECAUSE ASEXUALITY ISN’T REAL AND I WAS JUST BEING A PRUDE. BECAUSE I JUST NEEDED TO EXPERIANCE IT. BECAUSE EVERYONE SAID SO SO IT MUST BE RIGHT. RIGHT?! FUCKING WRONG. I am not lying. I am not wrong. I am not ‘just inexperianced’. I AM FUCKING IN THE ACE SPECTRUM. And you have no fucking right to try to tell people they’re lying. You have no FUCKING RIGHT to try to tell someone they’re ‘just trying to be special’. You have NO. FUCKING. RIGHT. to try to assume you know what other people are thinking or feeling. I have been called so many gut-wrenchingly horrible names. I’ve had people cheat on me, nearly rape me- yes, people have kept going when I’ve said ‘no’ or ‘stop’. I’ve had people get furious at me FOR NOT WANTING SEX. FURIOUS. SCREAMING, NAME-CALLING, THROWING SHIT AT ME ANGRY. SO FUCK ANYONE who tries to erase someone else’s sexuality. You go can go straight to hell. So it’s good that you have accepted how you perceive and feel about others. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had horrendous experiences with relationships and douchbags forcing themselves on you. It’s fucked up and awful that anyone goes through that kind of stuff. :/ However, there’s a difference between assaulting people or just trying to clarify or point out legitimate faults in a terminology people have adopted. There are four orientations I take seriously: Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual, and Asexual. Anything else is really just a variation underneath that that gets into more specifics, such as the way people develop attraction. Regardless, any terms I’ve heard don’t really escape the definition of one of those four.



I’ve ranted on this before.



Demisexuals are folk who really look into someone else’s personality and sole person before they bother to develop interest, correct? Well aren’t there a lot of people like that? People who don’t really want to rush into a relationship, are shy, or just seek out company through personality/mutual interests first before regarding sex? I myself am bisexual. I can develop attractions to people of either (or any, I suppose but that’s a friggin mess-zone I don’t want to get into right now) sex. That doesn’t mean I always do, though. There’s plenty of individuals I have no sexual or romantic attractions to, and that’s ok. There might be conflict of personality, something with their body type I don’t like, or a bunch of other factors!

I bring this up because according to a lot of tumblr people seem to perceive that if you don’t instantly find attraction in people you must be *insert a special-sexuality here*. By the common definition of demisexuality, I should be demi. I can find people admirable but I really have little-to-no attraction until I really get to know someone. I still consider myself bisexual, though, BECAUSE I am capable of attraction to anyone. Demisexuals are also capable of that same kind of attraction so I just find the term really, really… unnecessary?



Asexual would be someone who has no desire whatsoever, maybe some romantic attraction but from what I’ve gathered from ace buddies they perceive sexual attraction like some bizarre alien ritual. There’s nothing wrong with that, either. Everybody’s got their preferences (or lack there of, lulz). :)



So the main four terms define who you’re into. Anything else may clarify HOW you develop those feelings. I don’t really consider those legitimate sexualities but I guess I can’t stop the internet from using whatever words they want. I can just simply state why I think they’re silly. :P Which would be cool if demisexuality wasn’t on the ace spectrum, and saying there are only four ‘sexualities’ is ignorant as fuck. Find it silly if you want, but keep it to yourself, please. People are not harming you by identifying as demisexual if they really identify as demisexual. And on behalf of my friends who have to deal with shitheads like you telling them their demisexuality isn’t a thing, please stfu. You have no idea what demisexuality is, and that much is painfully clear. Good for you if you find the term ‘unnessicary’. No one cares. The word you’re looking for is ‘pansexual’, but I guess that doesn’t exist, either, does it? Also, dipshit, don’t try to define asexuality to an asexual. Don’t try to pretend you understand it, and don’t you DARE fucking erase me by saying grey-a isn’t a legit sexuality, and that if I have sexual desire in any form that I’m not on the ace-specturm and my sexuality isn’t legitimate. Don’t you fucking dare. Yes, I think pansexuality is also ridiculous sounding, actually. It still falls under bisexuality, just another approach at how people go about their attraction. Such an individual is still capable of being attracted to more than one sex so it doesn’t really jump out as anything unique to me.



I’ve taken a lot of time looking into this stuff, but it’s apparent you aren’t going to believe me just because I disagree with you. I admit I shortened most of what I’d say into rather scattered paragraphs that probably sound a lot more judgmental than I intended, though. People are going to have differing opinions. Once again I am sorry that you’re so aggravated about this. It’s good that you’re passionate about something enough to stand your ground but I would take you a lot more seriously if you didn’t literally call names and be so blatantly aggressive. Not once did I lash out at you or degrade you. Why return with such hate? I sincerely apologize that I offended you, really. If you wanted to educate someone you’d do it in a civil manner. Not just snap at them at how much of an apparent idiot they must be since they don’t hold your viewpoint.



This is why tumblr (well, I guess the whole internet, eh?) is such a hard place to get a decent answer out of anyone. People just want to scream the loudest instead of expanding their viewpoint and explain it. Then when you try to be legitimately friendly and approach with another idea people think you’re just being passive aggressive douche-bags about it.

Hi there. Demisexual here. In fact- The one delusionalintrospection was defending. I’ll go ahead and say outright- I am probably not nearly as well educated in tumblr or sexuality matters as some people are. But I do know how I feel, and how I behave. And your posts- Both of them- Have some holes, in my mind.

“There are four orientations I take seriously: Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual, and Asexual.”

So- According to you- The four orientations are, quite neatly, ‘Wants opposite sex’, 'Wants same sex’, 'Wants either/any sex (depending on whether you like 'both male and female’ or 'male and female and etc’)’ or 'Wants no sex’?

That’s a really nice, clean way of defining it, and good for you for taking the time to decide your priorities. The problem is- It’s never that clean. It’s never that easy. If you decide to simplify my 'sexualities’ with that table, what would originally be 'bi/pansexual’ and 'demisexual’ would whittle down to 'bisexual’ and 'asexual’. Where would you put me? It may be true that there has been no term that can’t be whittled down, but that doesn’t mean everyone’s sexuality can be fitted into the one block.

“Demisexuals are folk who really look into someone else’s personality and sole person before they bother to develop interest, correct? Well aren’t there a lot of people like that? People who don’t really want to rush into a relationship, are shy, or just seek out company through personality/mutual interests first before regarding sex?”

I didn’t quite the whole thing because it’s the bulk of your argument, but here we go.

It isn’t that I don’t 'bother’ to develop interest. I physically cannot. I have actually been mocked for this- I recently made a post telling a story of, in high school, how some girls made light of my inability to tell them if someone was 'hot’. I can’t do it. I didn’t know the person, I could not have told you if I would be interested in them.

You, as a bisexual, or the general you who is shy that you mentioned, get to make the choice. 'Here is a person I am attracted to and have a bond with. This will be the person I pursue.’ In theory, you have another option. Here is a person I find attractive- But I don’t know them very well. But they’re attractive, so I will pursue them.

That is the choice that I don’t have. I can’t 'window shop’, so to speak. (I assume, you, as a bisexual, can see a person and go 'oh man look at that ___. That is a nice ___.’)

“Demisexuals are also capable of that same kind of attraction so I just find the term really, really… unnecessary? ”

That is where your definition (As I understand it) is wrong. I am not capable of that kind of attraction. And that is why it is necessary.

As for your newest post-

“Yes, I think pansexuality is also ridiculous sounding, actually. It still falls under bisexuality, just another approach at how people go about their attraction. Such an individual is still capable of being attracted to more than one sex so it doesn’t really jump out as anything unique to me. ”

My understanding of pansexuality is that it goes past the binary. 'Bi’ is two, and 'bisexual’ theoretically means you are attracted to the two sexes. Which is great if there literally are only two sexes. But there are not- Simply mentioning trans anything suddenly gives you a need to have something past simple 'bisexual’. Which is where pansexual comes in. Pansexual says 'I don’t care what you’re equipped with, I like everything’.

Now- If bisexual was, and always had been a word more like 'multi-sexual’, maybe I could see your point. Because 'multi’ does not imply a specific number of sexes that you find attractive. Simply multiple. Bi, however, implies two.

As an aside-

Part of why my friend gets so fired up and upset about this kind of thing is this hits so close to painful thoughts for her. She gets angry because she cares. It also doesn’t help that she has had to have this conversation multiple times this week and there’s only so much stress one person can take before logic starts to get a little frayed.