LOS ANGELES, CA – Myles Darrin, owner of a swanky sandwich shop called “Darewiches,” has always been an early-adapter when it comes to food trends. Just last week he offered the already-infamous “Open-faced Jared Grinder,” which consisted of thinly sliced veal and young jersey potatoes topped with a drizzle of Fogle sauce that spelled out “Eat Fresh” on the sesame bun. After riots began outside the shop, he replaced it (out of spite) with the “Kumquat Challenge,” which was simply a pumpernickel bread bowl full of juice squeezed from 6 lbs of fresh kumquats. The challenge proved considerable, as no one was able to finish the juice before the bowl disintegrated into a sticky sludge of kumquat mud.

His featured sandwich this week, however, will be something entirely different – sandwiches that he affectionately calls “O’ boys.” Patrons will select their choice from the menu and then enter a booth. On tiny HD TVs, their food will be displayed on rotating platters while the customer is instructed to breathe deeply as scented oxygen is pumped through tiny outlets near their head. “Flavor is about perception,” said Mr. Darrin, as he watched a roast-beef-and-celery glazed hoagie float in front of him in high definition. He inhaled and licked his lips. “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Staff reported that the O’boy seemed most popular with vegans, models, and food critics. Our photographer tried the Cajun Slowket (“whoever named it brisket clearly never made it correctly,” says Darrin) and described the experience as “mesmerizing,” but was later discovered to have snuck beef jerky into the booth with him which likely skewed results.

Frequent visitors of Darewiches are loyal, however, and are already looking forward to next week’s special: the “Jellyphone Deluxe,” which is a hollowed-out croissant stuffed with your choice of banana, apple, or kumquat jelly.