When a person asks a question about the Buddha’s notion of self, never turn to someone who likes to give answers like this:

I really don't know to answer your question. I think the best thing to do is to just sit, wholeheartedly, until the question drops away. It may take many years. What I recommend is that you find a good certified teacher to help you. There are a lot of different styles of Zen.

Holy Indra! The question is easy to answer. So what is the Buddha's notion of self? He says over and over again that our self is not the five grasping aggregates of form, sensation, perception, volitional formations, and consciousness. We are to regard each of these aggregates this way: This is not mine, this am I not, this is not my self.

These five grasping aggregates, I should explain, are you! the psychophysical being who was born on such and such a date nine months after your parents had unprotected sex. What the sly old Buddha is really saying is that our true self is not of this corporeal body. In one respect, it was never born unlike this lump of flesh we inhabit.

We—all of us—have to have the faith that we are more than the sum total of this aggregated flesh machine. In other words, when we croak, not all of us takes a dirt nap.

Here, from the Pali canon itself, you can see the self’s relationship with each aggregate. This is from the Mahapunnama Sutta:

“Wherefore, monks, whatever is material shape, past, future or present, internal ... thinking of all this material shape as ‘This is not mine, this I am not, this is not my self,’ he should see it thus as it really is by means of perfect wisdom. Whatever is feeling ... whatever is perception ... whatever are the habitual tendencies ... whatever is consciousness, past, future or present, internal ... thinking of all this consciousness as ‘This is not mine, this am I not, this is not my self,’ he should see it thus as it really is by means of perfect wisdom. Seeing it thus, monks, the instructed disciple of the pure ones turns away from material shape, he turns away from feeling, turns away from perception, turns away from the habitual tendencies, turns away from consciousness; turning away he is detached; by his detachment he is freed; in freedom there is the knowledge that he is freed and he comprehends: Destroyed is birth, brought to a close the Brahma-faring, done is what was to be done, there is no more being such or so” (M .iii. 20).

You may have to read this several times. Keep in mind that your self is not fundamentally an aggregate. Keep in mind, too, that it is the aggregates that, right now, you’re overly identified with (and it only gets worse as you age).