Why do more men seem to get caught with their pants down then women? And why do their women put up with it? This is the question of the moment in Weinerville (aka New York City) where Mayoral hopeful and hot dog handful Anthony Weiner is once again deflecting stories about his sexting habit that didn’t seem to stop after he resigned from public office. His wife Huma gamely stood by his side at a press conference vowing her support and assuring us “He’s a good man” (with a dirty little habit!). Women around the nation cringed and said “Huma, don’t be a doormat. Show this man the door.”

The media are enjoying the Weiner sandwich with relish. But aside from the hot dog antics and the weiner jokes, the issue goes beyond the borders of Manhattan because this is just a salacious repeat story, this time with TwitPicks by the Nitwit. Bob Filner, Bill Clinton, Mark Sanford, Eliott Spitzer, John Edwards, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Gary Hart come to mind with sex scandals. They all happen to be public servants, elected officials we put our trust in as did their wives when they vowed to “honor and love for better or worse.”

The wife’s moves are evaluated as much as the husband’s mistakes. If you stand by him, you’re either “a doormat,” “a stalwart” or “calculating.” But shutting the door on a marriage is costly in emotions, time, and money.

Before judging others, ask yourself What would you do in the same position?” Would you stand by the man or show him the door? And what if you do walk out…where would you go, and will it be a better option for you and your family? Are you a Good Wife for standing by your man or a Better Woman for leaving him? It’s not always crystal clear, and assigning the word “doormat” to anyone is unfair unless you know what’s inside and outside the gates.

There is a long history of women putting up with men who mess up. We are taught to forgive; we placate, and we think less about ourselves and more about preserving the family. For decades women didn’t Lean In; instead they Bent Over backward to ensure their men were well fed, sexually fulfilled, adored and adorned. A woman once told me, “If you don’t take care of your man, there’s always another young lady waiting in the wings to take your place who will.” And I thought men were the hunters and gatherers!

For years advertising perpetuated the women in servitude image. Check out the “vintage sexist ads” I located at Buzzfeed below.

I long for the day women will never be referred to or treated as doormats. I hope more women have the courage to shut doors when the situation becomes unbearable. And finally, let’s make sure more doors are open to opportunities for women so we can all make better choices in living our lives.

View Buzzfeed’s sexist vintage ads here:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/babymantis/sexism-in-30-vintage-ads-1opu

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