Hey fans, going to the Red Sox game? Don’t get an ulcer. Take refuge below the stands at Fenway Park.

The Sox never lose down here. They never break your heart. The ball never gets lost in the blazing sun, and highly paid sluggers never strike out with the bases loaded. The only meatballs served up are from the food vendors.

The Sox are anchored in last place, and the natives are more than restless. But there is still happiness at Fenway, just not so much on the diamond.