We're certain everyone remembers the Chuck Norris "facts" that papered the Internet in early 2005, including that he can win a game of Connect Four in just three moves, that he doesn't sleep (only waits), and that there is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Adorable all of them, but for as a great a man as you think Chuck Norris is, maybe you should instead look to the man who kicked Norris's ass at the Roman Coliseum when he was still in his prime: Bruce Lee.

Of course, despite being history's fiercest marital artist, Lee is better known as the beloved actor who basically created a new American film genre around the idea that he loved showing people how awesome he was. And he was fking awesome:

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Lee was so fast they actually had to slow down that film so you could see his moves, and he was so underwhelmed by the martial arts he was employing — he thought taking three minutes to defeat arch rival Wong Jack Man in a no holds barred match wasn't quite quick enough — that he created a whole new fighting style called Jeet Kune Do. And with it, Lee took down dozens of smugglers, Big Bosses, and bad-ass ninjas, as well as Jackie Chan, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and even a ghost demon samurai, if you believe Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story.

And that's why, for such a man, a seven-foot bronze statue was erected in L.A. over the weekend as part of Chinatown Summer Nights festival. But that statue is being taken down and stored today because the people who love Bruce don't have the $150,000 to permanently install it. This is insanity.

"Right now it's only a statue," Larry Jung, president of Los Angeles Chinatown Corp., told LA Weekly. "Someone can easily steal it."

We'd like to see them try. If anyone thinks that ninjas or death or bronze or a mere $150,000 is enough to trap Bruce in a giant wooden box when he can be out showing people how awesome he is, then they don't know Bruce. He will one-inch-punch the sht out of that box until it's just splinters, and then use those splinters to defeat all who would stand in his way.

But while it's true that Bruce doesn't need our help when fighting an army of martial artists on a secret island base, it seems like we could lend him a hand here. The decades of entertainment, wisdom, and pure displays of masculinity he's gifted us should be enough convince us all that we need to do something to make sure this statue — the first of Lee unveiled in the U.S. — stands forever in Los Angeles's Chinatown as a symbol of this great man. So join us in the fight to free Bruce Lee. And if anyone has nunchucks, bring them. Bruce would have wanted it that way.

From LA Weekly: "If you're interested in making a donation, please contact Susan Bollinger at sbollin24@gmail.com, (714) 470-2698; or Larry Jung at larryjung@yahoo.com, (626) 806-2248."

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