For my daughters, ineptitude in the kitchen is almost a deal-breaker.

"Cooking is a huge deal," said Kristen, a member of the Teach for America corps in Chicago.

"It's such a nice skill -- but beyond that it's a telling quality. . . . There's something very charming about a guy who can cook. It's says to me, independence, confidence, unfazed by gender roles . . . ."

"I have to have a guy who cooks," Jenna said bluntly, "because I can't."

"Movies can be a giveaway about the style and taste of a potential soul mate. . . . When she prefers Cheech and Chong's first movie to "Breakfast at Tiffany's," the time may not be right for a romantic weekend in New York . . . ." -- "When to Dump Your Date"

"You put way too much emphasis on classic cultural references. I don't think they resonate anymore. You have the Casablanca Test -- you have to have seen it. Look, everyone should know by now certain lines come from the movie, 'We'll always have Paris' and 'Play it, Sam.' I've known since I was 9 -- but if you haven't seen the movie, so what? . . . For me, a guy has to at least know of 'The Daily Show' and 'The Colbert Report.' If they don't, well, they're really out of it." -- Jenna

"Does he read a lot? Does she know Jung from Jong . . . Books -- they bring out the intellectual snob in all of us . . . Rod McKuen: instant disqualification from polite conversation in most parts of civilized world." -- "When to Dump Your Date"

"I still have a literature test, but I think I'm a rare case. It's lame if a guy doesn't even have a bookshelf. When I go to new boyfriend's apartment for the first time, I look at his bookshelf. One guy I dated only had high school books -- I mean, like AP textbooks. You know he doesn't read. My last boyfriend didn't like to read. We'd be hanging out and I would be reading, and he would be like, 'What are you doing now? What are you doing now? What are you doing now? I'm bored.' . . . But he could sit and watch golf on TV, pretty much the most boring sport ever, for hours at a time, but he wouldn't sit and read a book. No intellectual curiosity. . . . The reality now is a lot of people don't read anymore. Everything is so accessible. So guys are getting stupider and stupider." -- Kristen

"I just don't care if guys read books. I actually think there may be a difference between my generation and Kristen's. Even Kristen didn't grow up with computers in the same way I did. . . . You wrote about checking out what guys have on their bookshelves -- whether they have the right kind of literature. No one looks at that anymore. Everything is available on ebrary. A lot of guys now don't even have bookshelves. Books are a hassle to move. I want a bookshelf because they're good furniture pieces." -- Jenna

"The sluggish check-payer is enough to give any woman a pit in her full stomach." -- "When to Dump Your Date"

"The check shouldn't even hit the table if you're out to dinner -- he should grab it out of the waitress's hand. On a first date, if a guy doesn't reach for the check, if he looks the other way or turns it over and says you owe $7.50 -- I'm outta there. But whereas in your generation, it was expected the entire time, I think for us it's only a certain amount of time, like in the wooing period. Even if a guy is dirt-broke I expect him to pick me up on the first date and pay for it. After that I'm fine going Dutch." -- Jenna

"I haven't been on a date in the last six years where a guy didn't pay on the first date. Not only should they pay, but if you meet them somewhere, they should be there first -- and ready. When I went out with Pete, this is a random guy, we went and played bingo at a bar. When I got there, he was there and he had already bought the bingo cards. Good start. Now, after that, he proceeded to get falling down drunk, so it ended there." -- Kristen