If while waiting for the crossing signal you're overcome with rage when the genderless human icon flashes (giving you the thumbs up to cross) you might be a third wave SJW feminist. Probably a morbidly obese one. Who insists on being called "beautiful" despite strained pants overflowing with tsunamis of flab. Have another donut, honey buns: mockery incoming. Rather than addressing actual problems which afflict real people, the city of Melbourne is going to replace the triggering pedestrian crossing signs with icons of women. Not to bolster crossing safety, but to “reduce unconscious bias."

“The idea is to install traffic lights with female representation, as well as male representation, to help reduce unconscious bias … We know that Melbourne is the world’s most liveable city and we would really like to see Melbourne also known as the world’s most equal city.”

Mayhaps I'm ignorant of the growing problem of women clogging sidewalks, waiting for the appropriate female icon to represent them in street crossings. Only to be confronted by a non-dress wearing stick man.

Welcome to Feminism 2017: protest work, protest glowing pictures. Stand down, Susan B. Anthony, the modern feminists are taking down street signs and donning pussy hats!

Secondly, the icon itself: it's 2017, ladies. Last I checked, women wear pants. How is assuming all women are donning hoop skirts not, in itself, sexist? Based upon recent trends, I'd say the skirt-toting icon better represents transgender dudes galavanting as dames. They're the ones embracing female stereotypes in hopes of passing off as ladyfolk. If we're hoping to better represent real and wannabe women, give flashing gal a set of knockers and a new haircut. If we're going to stage a bitchfest over street signage, let's do it properly. Give Street Crossing Sarah a Louis Vitton clutch and a pair of Prada pumps.

I'm with Melbourne's mayor Lord Mayor Robert Doyle, who commented: “I’m all for doing anything we can for gender equity, but really?” he told the Herald Sun. “Unfortunately, I think this sort of costly exercise is more likely to bring derision.”

Ahem. Point proven. See above and below paragraphs.

Derision is an appropriate response to something so ridiculous. It's not like Australian women are free of actual problems, in which case the greatest injustice facing the double X chromosome is triggering signage. Nope, women are still getting raped and murdered in Australia. Maybe if a murderer or rapist puts a dress on their female victim, the problem of "unconscious bias" will be solved. Ideas.

Speaking of feminists protesting stupid things...

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