On Being a Trans Woman … Who Doesn’t Pass

Not all women look the same — and that should be okay

by LAURA KATE

Mainstream transgender acceptance in the United States has been a long time coming. And it’s got a long way to go.

America is getting more comfortable with a certain class of trans people. In particular, trans women who can pass as traditionally beautiful.

But what about those of us who can’t pass — or don’t think we should have to? Here’s to women with prominent Adam’s apples, five o’clock shadows and deep voices.

Here’s to women like me.

In the 1990s, trans women were punchlines — awareness by way of mockery. It felt like we only existed so the hero of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective had an excuse to comically vomit at the thought that he might have liked a trans woman, and then forcibly strip off her clothes and out her genitals in front of a crowd of vomiting onlookers.

At least someone was acknowledging our existence, right?

In that era, trans women in media were usually very feminine — but only to set up the punchline. The big reveal.

In the ’90s conception of a trans woman’s transition, we simply sneaked off for one secretive operation. We’d reappear with bandages on our faces — and slowly unwind the bandage to reveal the most unbelievably, effortlessly gorgeous woman anyone had ever seen.

The trend continued through the 2000s. Popular culture still portrayed trans women as flawlessly beautiful but with a horrible secret — a penis! You heard the transphobic slur “tranny” everywhere.

Trans men got no representation at all. Best I can tell, comedians found the concept of a “man” giving up his “manhood” funnier than they did a “woman” becoming more “manly.”

Things got a little better in the 2010s.

Firstly, we got our first high-profile examples of trans actors playing trans characters. In Orange Is the New Black — the first season, at least — Laverne Cox got to play a nuanced trans woman who suffered for being trans, but also got to be part of a story that wasn’t just about her transness.

Secondly, Caitlin Jenner publicly transitioned and appeared in a glamorous Vanity Fair spread.