Dads in the Limelight

Our 420th Dad in the Limelight is Ben Crawford. I want to thank Ben for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

http://3encrawford.com/ I’ve founded some companies and love adventure. One of the business ventures was the topic of a documentary. We live in community and my primary earthly identity is being a father. You can read a more thorough “bio” here:

2) Tell me about your family

We have 6 children. 5 that are living. I got married at the age of 20 to Kami. We have 4 daughters (Dove, Eden, Memory, & Filia) and 1 son (named Seven). People always ask us if we are “done”. If we are it would not be by our choice.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Overcoming porn, busyness, and identities tied to work and financial income to be emotionally and spiritually present with my children.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Talk to old people and ask them what they regret or are proud of. No old person ever wishes he had fewer children, spent less time with them, or answered more email.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

I don’t know what this question means. To me “parenthood” is who I am. It’s not something to be balanced and there is no such thing as outside life. Every opportunity that my child is not with me, whether it be work or pleasure, is a missed opportunity to be with, enjoy, and train my child, AS WELL as learn myself more about God and my relationship with him. Parents are really obsessed with being a blessing to their children and we forget the the relationship primarily is that they are a blessing to us. We need to understand why we are not seeing things this way or we will keep on missing the point. I don’t know what this question means. To me “parenthood” is who I am. It’s not something to be balanced and there is no such thing as outside life. Every opportunity that my child is not with me, whether it be work or pleasure, is a missed opportunity to be with, enjoy, and train my child, AS WELL as learn myself more about God and my relationship with him. Parents are really obsessed with being a blessing to their children and we forget the the relationship primarily is that they are a blessing to us. We need to understand why we are not seeing things this way or we will keep on missing the point.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

Discipline is just a tool. Having well-behaved children is not the end game. Having children that are wildly in love with you , because you are wildly involved with them is more satisfying and a reflection of God’s character than having good kids.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

We’ve done some difficult hard things as a family. 4 out of the last 5 years our family has hiked 95 miles around Mount Rainier together. Last year I ran 2 marathons with my son when he was 8. We started off all endeavors like that asking the question “How can we afford to do that?” but we end them all asking “How can we afford NOT to do that?”

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

When my children come to me voluntarily and confess their sin. Creating a space that is safe and where we model our own repentance and need for the gospel is better than fear and shame and so beautiful that it shocks me and brings me to tears every time I see it.

If you have any questions for Ben, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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