If you actually do meet up, you either make an excuse to leave within 30 minutes of the date because you realize they’re nothing like the person you desperately created in your head; have a mediocre-to-OK hook-up only to never speak again; or you end up getting ghosted just after you finish getting ready to go out and have texted them to confirm the location of the bar you’re meeting at (true story).

When it comes down to it, all dating apps are relatively the same. They’re games of thumb war, your opponent being an endless stream of profiles separated by their bangability. And you lose HOURS of your life doing this, whilst repeatedly having the same conversation with strangers you never end up meeting.

The simplicity of this app’s design—sans the dumb emojis, quirky affirmations and unexpected pop-ups of other dating apps—is on par with Facebook’s aesthetic, but the lack of distraction makes me feel like I’ve hit dating rock bottom.

After its official November launch date, I found myself waiting a few days for Dating to actually appear on my Facebook. Keep in mind that “Dating”—as Facebook so innovatively calls it—isn’t a separate app like Messenger, rather a feature within the “more” tab on Facebook mobile. When it finally pops up, I’m prompted to make a profile on a page with Facebook’s weird Pepto-Bismol coloured graphics.

But since Canadians are getting early access to this app, I test it out so that other single millennials don’t have to. After about a week of using it, I grew frustrated with the feature’s algorithm, but I did end up meeting a guy who’s not total trash. Here’s what went down on my first week of Facebook Dating.

Earlier this year, Facebook made the announcement that nobody wanted: they too were getting in on the dating app business. Even better (or worse)? Canadians would be the first ones in North America to try it. That’s right, this evil yet un-deletable platform is attempting to stay relevant and have us ignore things like Russian trolls and electoral interference by getting us laid.

So why do we keep using them? Because they’re always an option when you’re single and need attention—though definitely not better than just sucking it up and meeting people in real life.

Alas, I create a profile with a few good pictures of me and refuse to include most items from a long list of identifiers they offer, like where I went to school, my job title and company, if I have any kids and my religious views. I keep my height on there though because I’m 5’7 and I want shorter dudes to steer clear (no, I don’t care what your think-piece says). Finally, I add a simple bio: “Is this the new Bumble?”

So I don’t have high hopes with this app going in because, one: it’s Facebook. And two: it’s not like I plan on finding the love of my life on a dating app anyway.

Like a lot of long-term single millennials, I have a love-hate relationship with dating apps . I’ve used Bumble on short, random stints over the last three or four years and Tinder even less frequently because I loathe the idea of having a stupidly large list of potential mates on my phone. I’ve gone out with quite a few guys from Bumble, none of which have turned into relationships, although, I have become friends with some of them.

This isn’t that surprising considering that’s the exact kind of social-engineering BS you expect from Facebook. In the same way it encourages you to meet with friends you had no plans to see, or wish a happy birthday to someone you haven’t spoken to in years, Facebook Dating tells you how to act when you just wish it’d let you do your own thing.

Also unlike other apps where swiping right doesn’t require much thought, Dating forces you to start a conversation immediately once you “tap” interested. The thing is, what is there really to say to a stranger on a dating app other than “you seem attractive and semi-interesting and I’m just bored and don’t want to spend winter alone so you do you want to talk?”

Basically how Facebook Dating works is you can tap “interested” or “pass” on the profiles that are suggested for you, instead of how you’d normally swipe right or left, respectively. Having to stop and tap is innately less user-friendly than other dating apps and I did not dig it.

And I’m not sure if it’s because I’m using the app in its early stages and not everyone knows it exists, the options I get are slim-pickings at best. Profile photos are a mix of blurry snapshots, pics that were clearly taken more than five years ago and others that are not pictures of people at all. There’s also way too many photo filters going on, like the one that turns you into a line-drawing (why is that a thing?) and the one that covers you with a glowing white light (again, why?). And just when I think I’ve come across a hottie, I’ll notice something weird in his profile, like a text overlay on one of his pics that says “your vibe attracts your tribe.”

But the main thing that makes Dating different from other apps is that it doesn’t listen to you—like, at all. When I select my distance preference to be within 40 km, age range from 26 to 35, and height within a solid 5’11 to 7 goddamn feet tall, half of my suggested matches are basically the opposite of that. Instead, I’m getting dudes like 44-year-old Stephane from small-town Ontario, and wee Peter at 5’5” even though I asked for them not to be there—no offence, guys.

Pretty much immediately after I start using it, I begin getting those unsolicited messages on the “interested” page. Unlike the short, simple messages I’m sending to dudes, the ones I get are like the creepy messages that women find in their “other” inboxes from creeps and weird friends of friends. Plus, they’re all from guys I haven’t shown interest in.

I can think of many reasons not to find real long-term relationships on Facebook—one being the fact that saying “we met on Facebook” is possibly the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Another is the fact that Dating is a massive waste of time since it lets anyone start an conversation with you regardless of mutual interest.

In fact, when Mark Zuckerberg announced this new feature, he described it as a tool to find “real long-term relationships—not just hookups.” Because why not find love in the same place that your friends share baby pics and internet trolls get off on comment section arguments?

At first I am taken aback by how many guys seem to be looking for The One, but when you think about the nature of Facebook it makes sense.

On the other hand, I do get some genuine messages that aren’t creepy and kinda nice from guys that I probably would not have swiped right on on Bumble. For a split second, I tell myself it’s refreshing that Facebook is letting everyone shoot their shot. In the past, I’ve had guy friends tell me that they don’t get as many matches as women do on dating apps, so levelling the playing field like this does give people the opportunity to connect with anyone they want.

But if we’re being honest, the point of dating apps is not for it to be an open playing field—they function on the basis that you can be superficial and selective with your preferences. For example, at one point in the week, I haven’t checked Dating for an entire day and when I return to my phone, I have upwards of 30 messages from dudes who I haven’t shown interest in, nor are all of them within my preferences. If women wanted random men to approach them unwarrantedly, we could just walk down the street and reply to catcalls instead.

Each day I take a few minutes here and there to go through suggested matches. Since most of the men don’t fall within the preferences I’m looking for, I am frustrated that I’m wasting so much time doing the work most other dating apps would’ve already done for me.