Football saved her life

Updated

Courtney Ugle is a star on the football field. But there is much more to her hard-won strength than meets the eye.

WARNING: Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander readers are advised that this story contains images of people who have died.

Courtney Ugle stops, pauses and asks a simple but telling question.

She breathes slowly, nervous about sharing her painful past.

"Can I hold a football during our interview? I feel more comfortable holding one."

The football is her security blanket, the thing that gives her the strength to talk about her loss and how she took charge of her life.

Ugle lost both her parents — her mother to domestic violence — and left her home to try to make it on the other side of the country.

She had every reason not to succeed.

But through it all, she held on to football, and it transformed her life.

At 22, Ugle is determined to own her story and define herself, rather than let her past dictate her future.

"I am a Noongar woman from Bunbury in Western Australia, that's where it all started for me," she explains.

"I really held onto the positive memories that I have as a child, but I do feel like I lost a bit of that.

"The adversity for me and my family started at quite a young age."

When Ugle was 11 years old, her family was rocked by the death of her father.

She was too young to understand the broader implications at the time, but she knew, from that moment on, things weren't the same for her mother and her three siblings.

Her mother fell into drugs and alcohol as she struggled to cope with her changed circumstances and her own difficult upbringing.

"Mum had a lot of challenges as well, you know, especially after losing Dad, and raising four kids on her own. I saw the impact that took on her," Ugle says.

She reflects on her bond with her mother in glowing terms.

But in 2016, tragedy struck the family again.

Ugle, a passionate footballer, was at the Swan Districts Football Club with her sister when she received a call from her brother that changed her life.

"I remember that day, I can replay it 100 times in my head and I remember every moment of it … because it was the worst day of my life."

Ugle was urged to rush home. She found police and paramedics outside.

"You just know when something's not right," she says, fighting back tears.

"They brought my mum out on a stretcher. Her lifeless body was right in front of us."

Ugle and her siblings followed the ambulance that took their mother to the hospital.

There, they received the news that their mother had been killed.

"The poor nurse, to deliver that news to us. She said the paramedics did everything that they absolutely could."

Ugle's mother had been murdered by her partner, who has since been sentenced to life in prison.

"In that moment your world just stops. I don't remember too much after that."

It was a second life-altering event for the family that threatened to provide an insurmountable challenge.

But Courtney Ugle's remarkable story was about to turn, not in spite of her challenges, but because of them.

After a few weeks, Ugle returned to her football club to keep training.

In the early days, it was a distraction.

Quickly it became more.

"Footy was something to look forward to, footy was where all my mates were."

Football was how she began to feel herself again.

It was where she emerged from the disorienting grief and where she found purpose again.

"Footy definitely saved me through those really dark times.

"I'm so grateful and thankful … that a game saved my life."

Ugle soon set her sights on the AFLW.

An opportunity emerged to try out with the Essendon VFLW team.

With under a week to pack her things and move across the country, her siblings encouraged her to take the leap.

"It was scary, but it was the best thing I've ever done," she says as she flashes a smile.

Her coach, Brendan Major, recalls the first time he saw her on the field.

"Oh she's very small," he laughs.

"But for someone to uproot their whole life... and really build the type of character and persona that she has is a real credit her."

She's proven her short stature won't hold her back and has swiftly excelled within the team.

Her ability on the field is nearly outweighed by her strengths off it, and she's quickly developed into one of the leaders within the team.

But Ugle's sporting goals are just one part of her changed reality.

Indigenous women are more than 30 times more likely to be hospitalised as victims of domestic violence than other Australian women.

It's a confronting statistic and Ugle wants to ensure that others don't have to endure the hardship she did as a young woman.

She works for an Indigenous community group called Djirra, where she's involved in an early intervention and prevention program for young Indigenous women called YoungLuv.

She shares her stories in the hope that she can inspire the next generation to identify the early warning signs of unhealthy relationships.

"When I add my personal mix on it, I feel like it's raw, it's a lot more genuine.

"It's coming from the heart, and that's when I can relate to these girls."

Djirra's community engagement manager Kelly Faldon says the program plays a vital role in violence prevention.

"It's to create a culturally safe space for Aboriginal women between the ages 13 and 18 to come together, to talk about healthy relationships," she says.

"We really wanted to target young Aboriginal women so they didn't need to access our service for legal needs down the track."

For Ugle, it isn't just about giving back to the community.

"If I can play a part and encourage and inspire, you know, any young indigenous female, that'd be incredible.

"That's something I'd be really proud of.

"The tragedy that happened with losing mum drove me to want to prove people wrong.

"It drove me to want to better myself.

"It drove me to want to not let the adversity define me in a negative way."

It hasn't.

The diminutive figure is as strong as anyone on and off the football field, and she's powerful in front of young women as she tells her story.

They now look up to her.

As we finish our interview, Courtney grins broadly and sighs with relief.

She's still firmly holding onto that football.

It's no surprise it brings her comfort.

Football saved her life.

Topics: australian-football-league, sport, community-and-society, indigenous-aboriginal-and-torres-strait-islander, domestic-violence, women, bunbury-6230, wa, australia, vic, melbourne-3000, essendon-3040

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