Too long; didn’t read (TL;DR) might be the ultimate shorthand notation that strikes fear in the hearts of writers everywhere, but sometimes these short summaries are even better than the original.

TL;DR: Check out some Reddit users’ attempts at summarizing their favorite television shows up in a single sentence (…or maybe three).

It’s (almost) never lupus

After many, many lupus scares for four seasons, House M.D. finally got its first lupus diagnosis in episode 408, “You Don’t Want to Know.”

Flynn the magician (Steven Valentine) loses consciousness while replicating Houdini’s famous Chinese Water Torture Cell bit—internal bleeding, blood transfusions, a few seizures, and kidney failure soon follow. Subsequently, the House M.D. doctors go through a few guesses: Polyarteritis nodos, cocaine abuse, cancer, amyloidosis before finally ending on lupus. “I finally have a case of lupus,” House says.

Yay?

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

FACT: The Office featured one of the most endearingly dysfunctional cast of characters on television in the last decade.

Come at the king, you best not miss

HBO hit series The Wire gave some Americans all the education they wanted about life in Baltimore, Maryland: drugs, man, and some actually pretty charismatic cops and drug lords and drug dealers and thieves and politics and stuff.

Come along, Pond

Doctor Who companions seem to meet some pretty shitty fates—even if they may get to travel all of time and space and meet some pretty neat aliens along the way. (…And yet, still seem to hang out in the UK and America all the time.)

Memories are erased, there are marriages with maniac space pirates, involuntary (and permanent) time travel, and sometimes, even death.

Holy shitsnacks!

Oh, it’s just Archer.

FX’s Archer brings us the tale of the International Secret Intelligent Service (ISIS) and our protagonist and master spy Sterling Archer. Sometimes he’s actually charming and he’s pretty good at what he does, but his intense mommy issues and brutally dehumanizing treatment of his partially deaf elderly butler Woodhouse are amongst his many negative (yet entertaining) attributes.

For more of Redditors’ TV TL;DRs, head over to the original post here.