Let’s say you’re getting married.

Let’s say that you’d like to have your wedding photographed.

Now… let’s say that you want those photographs to tell your story in an authentic way, with a feeling of connectedness. Almost as if they were snapped by friends who were actually there, having the time of their lives right there with you.

If this is how you want your wedding photographs to feel, may I suggest when when your bartender/mother asks you if vendors are allowed to have drinks, you respond, “Absolutely.”

Sharing a drink is a gesture of camaraderie. It says, you’re one of us, and I respect your humanity.

I don’t ever want to be a vendor, I want to immerse myself in your community of friends and family as deeply and as quickly as I can. I want to represent your wedding as a friend, experiencing your day just as every one else is. Why on earth would you even want a “vendor” (read: Stranger) at your wedding at all?

See, what I’ve learned is that just having a beer in hand makes people literally open up to you more. Like, physically turn their bodies to you. Connecting with human beings (quickly) is the prime difference-maker between a decent photog and someone who can really tell a beautiful story.

Every photographer reading this knows what it feels like to try to connect with a crowd of total strangers with a camera in hand. Generally, everyone turns their back to you. I’m not sure why this phenomenon exists, but it does.

Now, walk up to the same group of people with camera in one hand, and beer in the other, and watch how much more friendly people react to your presence. They’ll probably make a joke, but.. you’re in. You’ve been accepted into the tribe.

You’ve sent the message that, “we can trust this guy, he’s one of us.”

Just to be clear, I don’t think it’s appropriate to chug beers, or drink them at the wrong time. I’m not talking about being a frat brother, here. I’m talking about socially appropriate moments.

Here are situations where I share a beer:

On the Party Bus

During Cocktail Hour

At the Reception

When the Bride Hands You One….

Listen, there’s a thousand decisions to make when planning your wedding, so let me help you with this one. Pick a photographer who you would love to have a beer with any time, then do that at your wedding.

I realize not everyone may share my view on this, but hey, if we had shared a beer and talked it over, we’d probably come to understand one another.