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​Here it is. The official 44-page marketing brochure for Extell’s gargantuan One Manhattan Square on the Lower East Side is now in the wild. Released by JLL Residential, in fact, to entice foreign buyers.

The controversial 80-story eyesore rising from the banks of the East River is essentially an upscale country club catering to the one-percent. It’s a spit of (vertical) suburban life wrapped around itself in what they’re calling a “vertical village on the Lower East Side.” That means isolating itself from its surroundings – namely a waterfront community dominated by low-income housing. Overall contribution to the neighborhood at large will probably be negligible, at best.

Case-in-point, “your private village green” designed by landscape architects West 8, which offers a treehouse, outdoor kitchen, fire pits, social courtyards, and “quiet moments of romance and repose” for residents. All in the shadow (and glare) of a glass beast.

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Note the treehouse

And then there are the interior amenities. The cellar alone boasts, among other things, basketball courts, bowling alley, golf simulator room, squash court, sauna, sunken tranquility garden (Lowline?), 75-foot swimming pool, billiards room, cigar room, and private theater. Also, it appears the Turkish baths (aka Hamam) have returned to the blueprints. Yet no champagne room…

And what about the supermarket promised? You’re telling us that the millionaire homeowners would be content shopping in a budget supermarket on par with Pathmark? Not likely.

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Note the Gucci bags

As previously reported, One Manhattan Square will offer 800 high-end condos of the 1-3 bedroom variety. Extell is banking on the “cheap” pricing – between $1 million and $3 million – to allure buyers. The stock of luxury apartments is designed by the Meyer Davis Studio.

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You can review the full marketing literature below:

Extell Brochure for "One Manhattan Square"