When pre-pubescent mustaches grow up, they want to be Tom Selleck’s mustache. It’s a modern mustache masterpiece. Magnum P.I. wouldn’t have been the same with some dude with a naked upper lip.

Walter Cronkite

Walter Cronkite’s mustache was the most trustworthy mustache in all of news history. And that’s the way it is…

Eddie Murphy

During the 1980s and early 90s, no mustache was funnier than Eddie Murphy’s. We won’t hold Eddie Murphy’s mustache responsible for Daddy Day Care or Norbit.

Alex Trebek

I’ll take game show host who lost major manliness points when he shaved his mustache for $800, Alex.

Daniel Plainview

Daniel Plainview’s mustache will drink your milkshake. And then bludgeon you to death with a bowling pin.

Hussein bin Talal

The King of Jordan’s mustache had an uber-manly lineage; it can be be traced all the way back to the Prophet Muhammad. Today, his son Abdullah II carries on his father’s peaceful policies and the manly mustache.

Errol Flynn

Australian film star Errol Flynn had a swashbuckling mustache that could make even tights look manly.

Rollie Fingers

Rollie Fingers brought back the waxed handlebar mustaches rocked by the baseball players of yore. Diamondbacks relief pitcher Clay Zavada carries that torch today.

Steve Prefontaine

Scientists have proven that the secret to Steve Prefontaine’s record-setting running times was the aerodynamics of his mustache.

Wyatt Earp

Wyatt Earp is a Western legend. Some sources say he killed up to 30 men during his time as a lawman in the American frontier. He didn’t even have to use bullets; his mustache knocked em’ over cold.

Ron Burgundy

Ron Burgundy is the manliest fictional news anchor to ever live. He loves scotch (scotchy, scotch, scotch), leather-bound books, and the smell of rich mahogany. And of course, he had a kick ass mustache that injected the news with testosterone.

Clark Gable

Clark Gable’s mustache doesn’t give a damn.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche’s mustache can provide meaning to the life of even the most strident nihilist. Look at that thing. Awe inspiring.

Genghis Khan

Not only did Genghis Khan grow a manly mustache and rule over the largest empire in history, he also rocked the flavor saver way before it was cool. Wait, was the flavor saver ever cool?

Mark Twain

Mark Twain had some strong words to say about beards: “It performs no useful function; it is a nuisance and a discomfort; all nations hate it; all nations persecute it with the razor.” Guess that’s why he decided to go with an awesome mustache instead.

Martin Luther King Jr.

I have a dream, a dream that all men will grow a mustache as magnificent as MLK’s.

Mark Spitz

Michael Phelps may now have more medals, but Spitz’s mustache could beat Phelp’s any day of the week.

Albert Einstein

The “m” in E=mc² stands for “mustache.”

Zorro

The Spanish vigilante Zorro struck fear in the hearts of evil land barons and other bad guys with his fox-like cunning, his agility, and of course, his debonair pencil mustache.

Harry Longabaugh, aka, The Sundance Kid

When you’re robbing trains, you need an appearance that commands respect. The Sundance Kid understood this, so he grew a mustache.

Swedish Chef

Zee Svedeesh Cheff ves zee munleeest mooppet ooff zeem ell. Bork, bork, bork!

Burt Reynolds

Let’s face it. The real star is Burt Reynold’s Mustache. Burt Reynolds can thank his mustache for his film and TV career. If only his mustache had talked him out of plastic surgery.

Lanny McDonald

Lanny McDonald’s iconic red walrus mustache threw open ice body checks that put his opponents in the hospital. Oh, and it also helped him score 98 points in a season.

Augustus McCrae

Wanna poke? Grow a mustache.

Pancho Villa

Pancho Villa started life as a poor Mexican sharecropper on a hacienda. He grew a mustache, put on some bandoliers, and became the Mexican version of Robin Hood. His mustache inspired thousands of oppressed Mexicans to revolt against the oligarchy and establish a more democratic Mexico.

Joshua Chamberlain

Legend has it that Chamberlin’s famous swinging gate attack at Gettysburg was whispered to him by his mustache.

Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa did some crazy stuff with the guitar. His style has influenced countless musicians today. But with a mustache like that, you wouldn’t expect anything less. Sadly, Frank died of prostate cancer in 1993. It’s a reminder why initiatives like Movember are so important.

Yosemite Sam

When your entire face is a mustache, you can be assured you have a manly mustache. Nibble on that, Bugs.

Robert Goulet

Robert Goulet’s mustache was so iconic, so world-changing, that the American Mustache Institute named their annual award, which is presented to the person best representing or contributing to the Mustached American community each year, the “Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year” award.

Sean Connery

In the Untouchables, Sean Connery taught us that you should never bring a knife to a gun fight, but you should always bring your mustache.

Sam Elliot

Anytime Hollywood needs a cowboy with a mustache, they call Sam Elliot.

Carl Weathers

Sadly, not even his epic mustache could save Apollo Creed from getting killed by the Commie Russian in Rocky IV. Thankfully, the ghost of Carl Creed’s mustache gave Rocky the strength to avenge him.

Bill the Butcher

Bill “The Butcher” Cutting from Gangs of New York was a mean SOB. Xenophobic, ruthless, and deadly with a knife, his 19th century mustache ruled over Lower Manhattan’s Five Points district.

Wilford Brimley

Wilford Brimley’s mustache has been fighting dee-a-beet-us since 1990. He feeds his stache Quaker Oats to make it strong and virile.

Theodore Roosevelt

You didn’t think we would make a list of manly mustaches and not include Theodore Roosevelt, now did you? Whether he was going after robber barons or charging up San Juan Hill, TR’s mustache was there giving him the vim and vigor he needed to live the strenuous life. Bully for his mustache!

