June bug? Is summer the true season of discontent? Our fellow New Yorkers are downright crabby these days, and who can blame ’em? There’s jostling for space on the F train; scaffolding is blotting out the sun and dripping various foul liquids upon our heads; and an evil earwig from outer space has slipped into the brains of New York women, causing them to go around town shod in wedge platform shoes, so they look like they’re teetering around on big triangles of cheddar cheese. The only good news? The New York Times tells us that back in April, Hillary Clinton quietly liquidated the millions of dollars in stocks she and Bill were holding in military contractor, oil and drug companies—warms the heart, don’t it! Tonight, at what sounds like the ultimate frat party, CollegeHumor (of those questionably funny videos that are making some geeks a fortune) celebrates its “America’s Hottest College Girl” contest winner, Amber S. from the University of Delaware (why are we not surprised?). Amber apparently beat out over 1,000 other floozies and will be at Midtown Loft & Terrace (which must have beautiful vistas). Meanwhile, just how much celebrating can the Friends of the High Line possibly do? Plenty, apparently! There’s the F.H.L. benefit in Chelsea, with a cocktail party at the shiny new Frank Gehry I.A.C. building before dinner at the David Zwirner gallery. Domino, our favorite wallpaper-pushing magazine, sponsors the post-benefit party, and hunky Edward Norton, Kevin Bacon, Kyra Sedgwick, André Balazs and wrap artist Diane von Furstenberg will all be rubbing sweaty elbows. Next! Trying to get in on all the hot Bryant Park movie action, the peeps who bring us the Tribeca Film Festival are aiming for year-round domination with a “Drive-In” at Rockefeller Center—i.e., free screenings where some lucky folks can sit inside new model Dodge Cars. We can’t explain everything …. Tonight is the New York premiere of Arctic Tale, from the (very rich) people who brought us March of the Penguins. This time it’s walruses and polar bears, with narration by Queen Latifah.

[CollegeHumor party, Midtown Loft & Terrace, 267 Fifth Avenue, 11th floor, 7 to 10 p.m., by invitation only; Friends of the Highline summer benefit, I.A.C. building, 555 West 18th Street, David Zwirner gallery, 525 West 19th Street, www.thehighline.org; Arctic Tale, Tribeca Drive-In at Rockefeller Center, seating at 6 p.m., film at 9.]