Previously, we’ve asked the members of the Final Fantasy XIV team some super important questions. Questions like “which NPC would you romance?” or “What minion would you want in real life?”. Now, the next chapter in our series of super important questions has arrived!

When we talked with Koji Fox out in Boston during PAX East this year, he had mentioned that groups in areas outside of Eorzea could, potentially, have a different version of a primal that we’ve already come to know. Ifrit for example, could give flowers to children and be the fire that roasts your marshmallows.

That got us thinking, and so we decided to ask members of the Final Fantasy XIV team how they would change one of the Primals.

Naoki Yoshida: I suppose I’d pick Shiva? FFXIV’s version of Shiva was born from the delusions and experiences of Ysayle─the snowy wastes of her childhood, the religious imagery of the ice goddess Halone, Ysayle’s admiration for the saint who loved a dragon. All this formed the basis of what would be the primal.

Of course, the real Saint Shiva has a personality and backstory all her own, and it could be fun to imagine what a primal based on that would be. Given her supposed “firey” passion, she might not be that different from Ifrit!

Koji Fox: I think you’d need an ultimate tag team─the primals come together to form a wild burger joint that would put Guy Fieri’s wasabi-infused bleach-blonde manwich-peddling diners, drive-ins, and/or dives to shame.

Ravana slices and minces the meat (100% free-range deepvoid deathmouse), Titan pummels them into patties (fresh, never frozen), Ifrit chars them to perfection with his hell-flames, Garuda constructs the burger with the skill and alacrity of a Hamburger University-trained Sandwich Artist and keeps the layers in place with one of her pinion feathers. Leviathan mixes and preps the fountain drinks while Shiva chills the glasses, and finally Bismarck delivers the orders across the realm Amazon drone-style in a half-bell or less or your food is free. Ramuh, uh…is the old curmudgeon in the corner of the store nursing that complimentary cup of water while reading the morning paper. Odin? Odin’s a level 8 vegan, so you won’t find him anywhere near the place.

Matt: The primal I would change would be Leviathan.

I could really see him worshipped as a spirit in the lakes and rivers around Hydaelyn. People worship Leviathan and praise him for helping young kids learn to swim in the summers, or for saving the lives of drunkards that may fall into his watery domain. I imagine people would work extra hard to keep their lakes and rivers clean to show their love for Leviathan, too!

Devin: I think everyone’s got Leviathan all wrong. To some he might be making maelstroms and causing craziness in the waters, but clearly surfers are worshipping him for amazing swells, and he being kind by answering their calls. If he could promise me good waves every day I would have no qualms about becoming enslaved to him. Adventurers only stopped surfers from having fun when they attacked Leviathan on their barge…

Chenin: If I could change any Primal… oh ho ho.

While I could get very fanciful in my head with such power, I think my most feasible change would be Bismarck, the Lord of the Mists.

See, I imagine that inhabitants of the realm outside Eorzea would be confused by the great white whale and his shared name with the most illustrious restaurant and Culinarian’s Guild in Eorzea: The Bismarck. Both are notorious for entirely different reasons, and their acclaim seems to spread and fuse…

As such, Bismarck would be revered by many outsiders as the benevolent god of snacks. Stories of his consumption of islands are less horror tales and more playful hyperbole to express just how much of an appetite one can work up while soaring through the skies. Legends even suggest that the Vanu Vanu aren’t just fluffy and rotund due to their feathery down: they hold gluttonous feasts on a weekly basis in order to appease their god.

I may or may not be hungry.

Tony: If I could change any Primal huh? I would probably go with Ravana.

I can imagine him being worshipped by all the culinarians as he controls earth and fire. His earthen power to grow lush vegetables, and his fierce fire to work magic in the kitchen. His legendary blades Chandrahas, is also known as the almighty Chahan blades, couple of his famous Prelude to Slaughter and sprinkles of his special Gana spices (that’s what those butterflies are) he cooks the world’s best fried rice (Chahan is fried rice in Japanese).

Aya: Going off this culinarian journey Chenin and Tony have gone on, we now arrive at dessert…

For context, I’ve been on a Shiva kick and even requested her to be eating an ice cream sandwich…

So despite the way people view Shiva and the heretics, I would change that, despite their seemingly “cold” personalities, there would be one thing that would show a… sweeter side to them.

Before partaking in an indulgement of frozen treats, people would thank Shiva for the element of ice, whether it infused in the crystals during the creation of such treats or made through other means.

They would also make sure soft serve would look as perfectly swirled as Shiva’s hair…