Sure, Scotty Morrison’s Māori At Work is a wonderful resource for Aotearoa’s collective te reo Māori journey. But is it judgemental enough for the modern office environment?

This year’s theme for Te Wiki o te Reo Māori is ‘Kia kaha te reo Māori’, ‘Let’s make the Māori language strong’. The growing strength of te reo is palpable across Aotearoa, with record numbers of people participating in Mahuru Māori, this new album of absolute bangers and another incredible book from leading Māori language advocate Professor Scotty Morrison. But being proficient in another language isn’t just about being strong; true fluency means being able to convey your petty opinions and throw shade at Doug in accounting.

If you find yourself needing to supplement Māori At Work with a more passive aggressive vocabulary, Lee Belk and Johnny Crawford have some suggestions.

Mōrena, e te hoa mahi!

Good morning colleague!

Kei tāku īmēra i mua

Per my last email

Kua āpitihia taku īmēra nō tērā atu wiki.

I’ve attached my email to you from the other week.

Kua whakapā atu ahau ki a koe me te kore i wātea mai?

Have I caught you at a bad time?

Kei te whai koe i ngā kōrero i Te Whakaata Pāremata? Aiare! Tō rātau kūare hoki!

Have you been keeping up with Parliament TV? Heck! What a bunch of clowns!

Kāore e tika ana te noho a tēnā i te pūrere horoi rīhi.

That doesn’t belong in the dishwasher.

Te āhua nei kua pāngia e te mate Rāhina.

Sounds like someone’s got a case of the Mondays.

Ko te kawhe te kai matua o te rā.

Coffee is the most important meal of the day.

Aue, te tika o ēnā kai!

Tēnā koe. E ngana ana kia tika aku kai i tēnei wiki.

Mā te aha i te ngana.

Oooh that looks healthy!

Thanks. I’m trying to be good this week.

I suppose trying is better than nothing.

Tōna tikanga me tatari kia tae rā ki te mutunga, hei reira tīwaha “Tāiki ē!” ai.

It is customary to wait until the end before yelling ‘tāiki ē!’

E hoa, kua kite koe i taku kapu “Pīrangi kē ana au ki te hī ika“?

Hey buddy, have you seen my ‘I’d rather be fishing’ mug?

I tērā wiki kē te rā ‘Haria tō Kurī ki te Tari’, e Carol.

‘Bring your Dog to Work Day’ was last week, Carol.

Auahi ake ana tā Stephen whakaaturanga mō te kaitaonga.

Stephen’s presentation on procurement was ‘lit AF’.

Kia manawanui mai, e Gavin, kāore e whakaaetia ana tā Big Bird whai wāhi atu ki te Whiringa Manu Rongonui o Te Tau.

I’m sorry Gavin, Big Bird isn’t eligible for Bird of the Year.

E kite nei ahau kāore koe i waitohu i te kāri mihi mō taku wehenga.

I notice you didn’t sign my leaving card.

Kua eke rānei ki te hāora inu pia?

Is it beer o’clock yet?

Miraka aramona? Ahakoa te āhua o tēnei ōhanga?!

Almond milk? In this economy!?

Aue! Nau mai, hoki mai ki te tari, e hoa! Mēnā ahau i mōhio ka hoki mai koe i te rangi nei kua whakarite mihi whakatau!

Goodness! Welcome back to the office, pal! If I knew you were going to turn up today I would have organised a formal welcome!

Hei whakamahara noa i a koe…

Just to remind you…

E ai ki tā tātou Kaupapa Here Kawhe i whakaritea ai e te Rōpū Whakamana Tikanga i te Kīhini, me tuku i ngā maramara kawhe ki te ipupara kua tapaina ko te “Ipupara Maramara Kawhe”.

According to our Coffee Policy, which was put together by our Kitchen Protocols Committee, you must put all coffee grinds in the bin labelled “Coffee Grinds Bin”.

E tōmua ana taku mihi, e hoa.

Thanks in advance, my friend.

Aiii, ko koe anō tērā, te tuatahi ki te tiki pia.

Oh, you’re the first to grab a beer again.

Ehara a ‘Kua Hoki Ngā Tama ki te Tāone’ i te karakia tika.

‘The Boys are Back in Town’ is not an appropriate karakia.