Some one-liners uttered by historical figures during the heat of battle are so awesome that they seem taken right out of a particularly bombastic Hollywood war movie. But we've already gone over those . The following quotes aren't like that: These are the real-life wartime quotes no one would ever put in a film, because they're simply too badass to believe.

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The Situation:

In 1690, Quebec was about to come under attack by superior English forces from Massachusetts. The English, confident they could easily wipe the floor with the French poofters they found waiting there, sent a messenger to deliver their official ultimatum to Count Louis de Buade de Frontenac, the Governor-General of Quebec. After reading the ultimatum, the English messenger added that the Governor had exactly one hour to reply, and whipped out a watch for dramatic effect.

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It would have been an incredibly tense moment if everyone wasn't dressed like a little girl.

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After a couple moments of silence, the English messenger impatiently asked if the Governor would be providing a written response to the ultimatum. That's when Governator Frontenac looked at the Englishman and uttered the line up there in the header image, simultaneously inventing the genre of gangsta rap 300 years too early while debunking that whole "the pen is mightier" bullshit in one sentence.

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This historical re-enactment really captures his badass-with-a-touch-of-crazy side.

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The envoy presumably let them keep his watch and hurried back to the ship for a change of ridiculous pants.

The Aftermath:

If anyone in Quebec questioned the wisdom of Frontenac's decision to piss off the huge army stationed right in front of their city, those doubts dissipated when unexpected reinforcements dropped in from Montreal, giving the French the numerical advantage. Frontenac crushed the English forces and sent them packing back to Massachusetts while suffering only 19 casualties.