Photo : Ron Galella, Ltd. / Contributor ( Getty Images )

It was only a matter of time. Since this massive global event began, people have been taking to social media to talk about it, as one does. Sometimes the talk leads to bursts of creativity. Folks have written songs and song parodies (so many song parodies). They have danced and performed as a chorus. They have written lists and done play-by-play commentary. But perhaps above all, they have made like @Seinfeld2000 and dreamed up how Larry David’s gang of four would handle all this.


Well, now there’s a whole damn script you can read. Feast your eyes, if you’re so inclined, on “The Quarantine.”


Screenshot : Tom van Kalken

This script comes to our courtesy of its writer, Tom van Kalken, who shared it with The A.V. Club. In an email, he wrote that after watching all nine seasons of Seinfeld while self-isolating, he decided to knock out an original spec script for the series, adding: “There’s so much negativity at the moment, I thought this content could provide your readers with a brief respite from the depressing numbers and figures spilling out of every news site.”


So here it is! We won’t spoil it for you, but here’s a quick summary. Jerry’s conflicted about quarantining with a new girlfriend:


George is loving life:


Kramer, uh:


But the most recognizably Seinfeldian thing about it is definitely that Elaine gets into yet another scrap about toilet paper. Enjoy, and cheers to Tom van Kalken.

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