"Hurry up, Mabel" said a clearly agitated twelve year old boy to his twin sister.

" I'm coming... Geez, Dipdop... Don't lose your marbles" replied the girl in question, who had predictably stopped to admire some cute critters on the way to their 'big mission'.

At least, that's how Dipper would like to THINK of it, given as it was a request from his newly discovered Grunkle (and new personal idol) Stanford.

Being as the elder relation was the author of the journals, and had noted all kinds of weird and wonderful discoveries over the years, when Stanford had first asked Dipper to go 'fetch something for him', the pre-teen boy was all ears.

Could it be...Excalibur? The Golden Fleece? Or perhaps even... The Holy Grail?

Why, the kid would do ANYTHING to please the man who'd added meaning to his drab summer... Find the Lady In The Lake... Stand in front of Posieden himself... Even fight the Knights that say "NI"!

Dipper was all awash with excitement... His heart was beating like a big bass drum... His tummy was doing the Hurdy-Gurdy dance... "THIS IS IT!" He mused to himself, as he made his way downstairs. "MY STEP UP INTO THE BIG TIME! Years from now, people will spread the legend of the child explorer, who at such a tender age, embarked on the mystical quest for..."

"A PINT OF MILK?!" Dipper stood aghast in front of his Grunkle Stanford upon hearing this most minor of tasks, and all the visions of glory, fame and getting it on with the ladiez vanished from his subconcious like celery sticks at a vegetarians convention.

Stanford looked up from his delicate work (something to do with a time continium thingie) with a quizzical expression. "Yeah, I need it for my prune saturated wheato flakes. I haven't eaten for two whole days... And I can't exactly save the world on an empty stomach. You'd be doing me a massive favour, son." The constipated genius grinned at his nephew.

Dipper, originally feeling as low as a snake's belly at being assigned such an apparently minor role in Stanford's plans, suddenly perked up on hearing those words. "So you're telling me... If you DIDN'T have your cereal this morning... You might not be in the right frame of mind to complete your research... And our only hope of annihilation would FADE WITH IT?! "(Those last three words were more of a gasp).

Stanford stopped what he was doing again for a few seconds to ponder what he'd just heard. "Well... When you put it like that... I guess..."

"DON'T WORRY, GRUNKLE FORD!" The younger Mystery Twin puffed out his chest with pride, like a robin during mating season. "YOU WON'T STARVE TO DEATH ON MY WATCH! AND AS BILL CIPHER IS MY WITNESS, I WILL GET YOU THAT EXTRACT OF COW, EVEN IF MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! I WILL GO NOW. DO NOT WEEP FOR ME IF I DO NOT RETURN, FOR I KNOW I LAID DOWN MY LIFE FOR A GOOD CAUSE!"

And, having said all that, Dipper even gave a little bow as he made his exit. He'd found his calling... And he intended to fulfil it. WHATEVER the myriad of dangers that lay ahead.

"THE MONEY IS NEXT TO THE FLUX CAPACITOR!" Stanford shouted after him, before the older Pines shook his head, muttering "That crazy kid. Reminds me of me when I was a youth. He should really find a better role model..." Before returning to his work.

Of course, as soon as Mabel found out about this 'epic adventure' (Not hard, considering the racket Dipper was making in the cellar) she INSISTED on tagging along. She even cancelled a playdate with Grenda and Candy so she could spend time with her beloved bro-bro. They were going to groom Waddles into a perfect pink princess.

Now, THAT'S a sacrifice.

As it stood, Dipper was still labouring under the misapprehension that whether he got the semi-skimmed or not could make the difference between if there were eight or nine planets in the Solar System that time tomorrow, as well as blaming Mabel as the sole reason they were making much slower progress than they should be.

Neglecting to dwell on the fact he had his nose in a journal, as always.

It was when he was in the middle of a particularly interesting passage on Man Eating Fairies when he saw it. No, not the tree he nearly walked into... In an almost exact carbon copy of the incident at the Northwest party when he collided with the stone pillar.

It was a car he spotted, in the middle of the path. Not unusual, you might think... Until, you saw the state of it. Dirty windows, covered in dents, exhaust pipe half hanging off... It looked like even more of a death trap than Stanley's vehicle.

Now, THAT was bad.

It's ideal setting would have been the junkyard that Old Man Mcgucket used to frequent (Though, not so much since he started regaining his memories), but here it was... Large as life, and blocking their route into Gravity Falls.

While Dipper stared at this eyesore of a rustbucket, Mabel finished chasing the butterfly she was pursuing, and joined her brother. "Ooooo!" Was her reaction to this motorised monstrosity, and instantly thoughts of how she could bedazzle it and improve the dreary facade started running through her head.

Dipper was about to suggest climbing over it so they could reach their destination, but then... Something happened.

The door... MOVED.

What they had assumed to be an abandoned, washed-up old banger...

Actually had an OCCUPANT.

How scary.

Not the person inside this sorry excuse for a car...

The fact that anyone would be caught DEAD driving it.

Nevertheless, the twins were still intrigued to see what kind of individual with incredibly low standards resided within.

It took a few seconds for the almost-off-it's-hinges door to creak open...

And, when the dirt and dust finally cleared...

The man who emerged was exactly as you'd expect.

He was unshaven. Mucky. He seemed to be wearing clothes that he'd stolen from a scarecrow.

And, like the character from The Wizard Of Oz, it looked like he lacked a brain.

He grinned at the children, with all of his six teeth, before saying in a rather yokelish accent "Excuse me, ya kids. Top of da morning to ya. I woz wandering... Cud you tell me yonder where Susie's caff is please?" He held out a map, obviously expecting to be given directions.

Dipper, with good reason, was somewhat suspicious of this rather poorly presented fellow, and was weighing up what to do next in his head.

As for Mabel...

Well, she was Mabel, wasn't she? She never saw any wrong in anyone.

So, of course, without any warning at all to her brother, she skipped on over to the chap, and looked at the map.

"Oh, you must mean LAZY Susan. Yeah, me and my bro-bro go there ALL the time... You should have seen him fail on the strength test mach...

"CRASH!"

That was the sound of Mabel being bashed on the head by a baseball bat. A small trickle of blood ran from her scalp... As she swayed and staggered, before finally toppling into the arms of the man, who promptly shoved her into a giant sack he had nearby.

Dipper was so taken by surprise by both Mabel's sudden movement, and the bloke's attack on her, it took him a few precious seconds to recover. A good option for him would have been to run off, call someone on his cellphone, and wait for help.

Unfortunately, when your twin is in mortal danger, all rhyme and reason goes straight out of the window.

So, he charged the scruffy man, who was more than twice his size. "GIVE ME BACK MY SISTER!"

The stranger didn't look perturbed at all. In fact he looked somewhat amused at the pre-teen's gall. He stood his ground, and...

"BASH!"

There it was again. This was to be no amazing feat of rescue like what Dipper had done to retrieve his sister from the clutches of Gideon.

Instead, HE had turned himself into a prisoner as well.

And, as conciousness faded, his last thoughts, as he was loaded into the sack alongside the prostrate figure of his sibling were:

"At least we're together."