Game Week: Wyoming

[For 5 years, Bo doesn’t hand out Blackshirts until players have earned them. Then hands them out to more than 11 guys because they all play a primary role] “Why does Bo wait so long to give out the Blackshirts, HE’S RUININ TRADISHUN! Charlie McBride is rollin’ over in his grave!!” [To show confidence in young D this year, Bo changes course, hands out 7 Blackshirts to upper classmen before the first game] “You’re givin’ Blackshirts to this group of nobodies!? Why don’t you just wipe your b-hole with a Blackshirt since ya’ HATE TRADISHUN so much. And only 7? He must not trust his whole defense!” [Bo Pelini pours himself 5 Hank Schrader post-work specials]

And this, Husker fans, is why Bo Pelini hates saying anything about anything ever. Sometimes I think $2.8M isn’t enough to deal with that level of idiocy.

But you know what $2.8M is enough for? Plenty of booze for DAY DRINKING. Which is where I’ll be tomorrow as I tempt God and a heat stroke simultaneously while “preparing” for the first game. No amount of cynicism can overwhelm my level of excitement for the first game of the year. Even Ms. Shame - who vehemently hates football by October - loves game one. It’s all the hope of the Spring Game, just with consequences.

Today in the Tunnel: Taylor is on high-alert, John Papuchis wants a depth chart and Barney Cotton finds his happy place. Also - due to a very busy week for yours truly - I made a couple typos and flat out forgot to write a title slide. Call it first-game jitters.

Be sure to follow TWOS on Twitter. I’ll have a new comic each week this year, hopefully. Glad to have you all back. But not as glad as I am for football to be back.