LOS ANGELES—Informing her client that it would require very little effort on his part to book the high-profile gig, Sean Spicer’s agent reportedly told the former press secretary Thursday that if he referred to Trump’s recent conduct as “troubling,” she could probably get him on the next season of American Ninja Warrior. “Sean, if you’re willing to refer to the accusations against Trump as ‘concerning,’ you could be competing for prize money in front of millions of viewers before you know it,” said Gersh Agency representative Abigail Lawson, telling Spicer that even allowing himself to be photographed frowning and shaking his head would likely be enough to swing a Celebrity Jeopardy guest spot. “Honestly, if you’re up for going so far as saying that Republicans shouldn’t rush to judgment until all the facts are known, we should be able to get you hosting American Ninja Warrior by 2021. In any case, you’re going to want to act fast, because I’m getting word that Scaramucci is willing to outright call Trump a buffoon in order to land this.” At press time, Lawson had broken the news to a crestfallen Sean Spicer that the best role she had been able to find him so far was as a CNN analyst.

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