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President Executive Order, aka President “Y’all Don’t See How I’m Signing Shit,” is back at it again. On Thursday, with Jeff Sessions’ swearing-in ceremony as the new attorney general as the backdrop, President Asshat hopped off Twitter and signed three more executive orders that he claims will “restore safety in America,” McClatchy reports.


While it’s unclear exactly what is in the fine print of Asshat’s latest round of executive orders, it’s believed that one will target drugs and drug cartels—or, as President “You Don’t See Me Signing ’em” said, it’s intended to “break the back of the criminal cartels that have spread across our nation and are destroying the blood of our youth.”

Blood of our youth? *New band name alert.* Also, how very vampirish of you.

Another one of the orders would “create a task force to reduce violent crime.” The last “would instruct the Department of Justice—now under Sessions’ command—to come up with a plan to stop violence against law enforcement officers,” McClatchy reports.


“These dangerous times require a determined attorney general,” Donald Trump said at an Oval Office ceremony for Sessions, Reuters reports. Trump echoed campaign statements he made about rising crime being a “dangerous, permanent trend” in the United States and also promised to “end this lawlessness” of illegal immigration, Reuters reports.

Read more at McClatchy and Reuters.