Transcript

Hi, this is Stephen Yeung, and I'm gonna take you

for a little tour around the GQ offices

and I'm gonna teach you a couple tips and tricks

on how to avoid death from the zombie apocalypse.

I can't stress this enough, you have to know your exits.

Typically, they're marked with the word exit

and then they point in the direction of that exit.

A little tip, everything in the office is a weapon.

Are you drinking coffee right now?

Use it, hot coffee to the face sucks.

Try a millennial shield.

Brian, nice to meet you, I'm Steven.

So what you want to do, initially, is you want to

lull them into a false sense of security.

Brian.

Yes?

You're a wonderful asset to this company.

Thank you.

Then what you want to do is you want to aim

from the kneecap to the shin.

I like to use the heel of my shoe.

If you can tear an ACL or an MCL, that's really great.

Then what you do is you take both hands,

then you push them

(screams)

in the path and then you run away scot free.

Here's a stapler, this is my all-time favorite

office zombie weapon.

Open this bad boy up.

It's all about the arm.

(clicks)

Alright, that went about three feet,

but if you do it well it'll go further,

potentially annoying them.

Depending on whether you have fast zombies

or if you have slow zombies,

take the time to staple it's eyes

so that it can't see what it's coming after any more.

It's high risk, but a lot of reward.

If you're in a building that uses a swipe key

to get down the elevator, you have to constantly repeat

the system is broken!

Let's face it, you're gonna be dead

so I'll give you a little tip on how to set up

the perfect trap.

You want to take a lot of these magazines,

evenly displace them.

It's a slipper, they won't know what's hitting them.

(screams)

That dude's dead.

And those are my tips and tricks on how to survive

an office zombie apocalypse.

I hope you learned a lot,

I sure did not.