Blind date: ‘I wanted to be consumed by Satan’s lustful flames’

James on Harry



What were you hoping for?

Someone who could change my life for ever – and some good headshots for my LinkedIn profile. The stakes couldn’t have been higher.

First impressions?

Someone to look up to (in the sense that there was a big height difference); well mannered.

What did you talk about?

How we’d unknowingly been at the same night out the week before; Burning Man festival; moving to Berlin (not together).

Any awkward moments?

The waitress asking: “Everything OK with your date?” Or when we realised that we grew up on adjacent roads – our mums must know each other…

Good table manners?

There was a sustained attack on some resilient pork belly with a ramen spoon, but he eventually got there with style and grace.

Best thing about Harry?

He’s passionate about his job.

Would you introduce him to your friends?

Sure – they probably grew up next door to each other as well.

Describe Harry in three words.

Affable, polite, self-assured.

What do you think he made of you?

I realised afterwards that I kept repeating “yeah” while he was talking, maybe as a bit of a nervous tic.

Did you go on somewhere?

For a quick drink at the pub across the road.

And... did you kiss?

Nope – a friendly hug farewell.

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?

Maybe not go to a ramen restaurant – it’s hard to slurp noodles in a mutually attractive manner.

Marks out of 10?

7.

Would you meet again?

We didn’t swap numbers – so probably not.

Harry on James



What were you hoping for?

To be struck by Cupid’s dart or consumed by Satan’s lustful flames.

First impressions?

He’s late!

What did you talk about?

Heartburn, our nervous waitress, librarians, his alter-ego.

Any awkward moments?

When a street magician dropped his cards while performing to us.

Good table manners?

Ramen isn’t the most sensual of dishes.

Best thing about James?

He’s clearly a kind soul.

Would you introduce him to your friends?

Perhaps not.

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Describe James in three words.

Not “the one”.

What do you think he made of you?

Not “the one”.

Did you go on somewhere?

For a final G&T in my favourite pub in Soho, why not?

And... did you kiss?

Negative (neither tried).

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?

To switch the Bunsen burner from safety flame to roaring fire.

Marks out of 10?

5.

Would you meet again?

If I saw him on the tube, I’d smile and wave. He’s not my prince.

• Harry and James ate at Tonkotsu Soho, London.

Fancy a blind date? Email blind.date@theguardian.com.

If you’re looking to meet someone like‑minded, visit soulmates.theguardian.com