This transgender student shows his 'true colors' in a black-and-white short film

Above Jay Delgado's bed there's a Virgin Mary figurine whose serene gaze points downward. But if you follow your eyes upwards towards the ceiling, you'll see a second emblem, the California state flag emblazoned with the colors of the rainbow, a symbol for LGBTQ pride, which some might say is at odds with the adjacent Catholic icon.

But in the past four years, 17-year-old Delgado has learned to navigate the complexities of identity. During his freshman year, when he still identified as female, he came out as a lesbian. Four years later, the graduating senior, who was born as Jasmine Delgado, is now introducing the world to Jayden through film.

"I’ve never felt super comfortable in my own skin. Coming out has definitely made it a lot easier to feel comfortable," said Delgado, a senior at Rancho Mirage High School. "Now everyone knows. I don’t have to carry around that burden all the time. It’s just a lot easier to live knowing that I’m not hiding this huge secret anymore."

Earlier this month, Delgado's short film "Real Boy," screened at the "Rise and Shine" themed festival hosted by DIGICOM Learning, an organization that teaches local students and teachers video storytelling skills.

Delgado's film began as a submission to a smaller video essay contest, but he was encouraged by his teacher to submit it to the festival. Not only was it featured in the DIGICOM festival, Delgado's film went on to win the first place award for the Youth Voices Essay contest at the Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast in Palm Springs earlier this month.

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Narrated by Delgado, the one-and-a-half minute film shows old photos of the 17-year-old with long hair and wearing dresses cross-cut with footage of him wrapping his chest.

"I believe in my inner self. I believe in Jay. He is real and he isn't going away," Delgado says in the film. "I'm like Pinocchio. I want to be a real boy."

He said he has received overwhelming support from the community following the public screening of his intimate film. He said the "best surprise" has been seeing so many of his classmates make an effort to use the correct pronouns.

Even before "Real Boy" was conceived, Delgado's journey to realize his gender identity started with film. After months of questioning his femininity, he watched "3 Generations" last year, a movie in which Elle Fanning stars as Ray, a young transgender man in the midst of his transition.

"I was just watching the movie, and I was just sitting there crying," Delgado said. "Wow, people actually feel like this. I thought it was just me. I thought I was just overthinking things."

Despite this on-screen affirmation, Delgado says coming out as transgender was a challenge even greater than coming out as lesbian. He felt that his attraction to girls was more private and didn't require much from his peers. He was afraid that coming out as transgender would require more public participation.

"It was really easy to come out (as lesbian)," Delgado said. "But telling people I’m transgender was harder because I didn’t want to put people in an uncomfortable position."

Most of all, Delgado didn't want people to feel bad if they referred to him using she/her pronouns. He understood the transition would take time, not just for himself but for his peers.

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"I understand that’s hard," he said. "People are gonna mess up and that’s OK."

Along with Delgado's emotional reaction to "3 Generations," there were other moments that he didn't feel happy living as a girl. He never felt comfortable in women's bathing suits and hated wearing dresses. He would also have frequent and recurring dreams in which he would have male genitalia.

"I’d have the same dream over and over again," Delgado said. "I’d say, it’s just a dream it doesn’t mean anything."

Although these subconscious and visceral aversions to traditional femininity were an important part of realizing he was transgender, Delgado says the transition is also a deeply intellectual process. He would spend hours on the internet reading about what it exactly meant to be a transgender person. According to Delgado, being informed was his best defense against ignorant intolerance.

"Getting educated is definitely the most important thing," he said. "When people go and question you, if you don’t have answers, they’re just gonna keep hounding you."

While the Catholic Church has historically antagonized the LGBTQ community, Delgado has only felt welcomed at St. Louis Catholic Church in Cathedral City.

Much of this is due to Pope Francis's leadership, he says. Just last Monday, the pope told Juan Carlos Cruz, a gay man and sexual abuse survivor, that "God made you like this. God loves you like this."

Delgado and his sister are currently serving as youth leaders in the community. Delgado says his faith surprises some people, but he says his sexual identity and faith strengthen each other.

"I know that if God didn’t love me for who I was, then I wouldn’t be who I am," he said. According to Delgado, his queer identity and religious beliefs aren't a contradiction.

"If anything, it’s made me a lot stronger," he said.

Delgado is looking forward to leaving high school. There's just too much drama, he says. He looks forward to attending Grand Canyon University in Phoenix in the fall with a tentative major in Justice Studies.

He says due to issues with health insurance, he'll start looking into hormone therapy after he turns 18 later this year.

For other young people thinking critically about their own identities, Delgado urges them to find a safe environment and to not be afraid to "show your true colors."

"It’s OK that not everyone’s going to be accepting, not everyone’s going to love you, and you might lose friends along the way," he said. "Do what’s really going to make you happy."