No babies, thanks (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Millennials, brace yourselves – there’s bad news and once again, we’re to blame.

Apparently, our generation is putting the future of humanity at stake because we’re opting to have pets instead of kids.

Not to worry, it’s not entirely our fault; you see we’re all just broke and lack the responsibility to look after the real deal, and so we settle for substitute children known as ‘fur babies’.

This is the ludicrous message from an article that circulated the web yesterday.


The author, who herself is a millennial and – shock horror – a mum, tells the story of how she was invited to a friend’s home where all the women had children, bar one.



This ‘childless’ woman (because never forget, we must label women who don’t have kids as lesser) is trying to pour herself a cup of tea in the kitchen when the author asks where her ‘little one’ is.

The woman holds up her phone and proudly presents a photo of Buster, her puppy.

And the shaming begins, including a lengthy diatribe on how owning a pet is not the same as procreation, which is ‘allowing an extension of your own body to face the world alone in all its innocent vulnerability’.

Firstly, no one ever claimed it was, and secondly, this type of comparison only serves one purpose – to belittle people who enjoy the pleasures of having a pet and push an outdated ideal that women must carry children to be considered worthwhile.

Secondly, the idea that millennials (why is it always us?) are irresponsible is factually incorrect.

We are a generation of successful idea makers, entrepreneurs and game changers.

Politician Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, internet celebrity Zoella and pop sensation Ariana Grande – these are just a few examples of successful millennials.

None of them have children, but that’s beside the point – because whether they at some point choose to shoot a human being out through their vagina does not reflect upon who they are as women.

It’s not just celebrities who are paving the way – women like millennial Gina Martin fight to change laws to protect women and others are ‘reverse monitoring’ CEOs and teaching them how to use technology and social media to their advantage.

Sure, some of us might be broke – but bare in mind that we’re paying three times more to get a degree than our ancestors did and will still be renting in our 40s, because the property market does us no favours. We’re doing this while, according to research, being worse off than previous generations and making less money.

But regardless if we have the dough or not, money isn’t the only reason we’re not having kids. Our identity is not tied to bearing children and neither is our self-worth – we are fantastic just as we are – baby or no baby, pet or no pet.

Both men and women have lashed out against the article on social media and rightly so.

This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. I’m a responsible human with money to live well, and I chose my rescue dogs because I choose to try to leave the world a better place than I found it. Also—shocker—some people just don’t want kids. They’re sticky. — Sarah Glenn Marsh (@SG_Marsh) April 19, 2019

Oooh, you mean value women for all their other amazing contributions to society other than childbearing?! What an idea!! — Sarah Glenn Marsh (@SG_Marsh) April 19, 2019

Maybe some people just don’t want kids because they don’t like them. Or they simply want to do something else with their lives besides parent. And then there’s the over population problem. I could go on. 🤨 — Alex 🌹🌒🌕🌘🧚🏽‍♂️🧝🏽‍♀️ (@FMAlchemist) April 19, 2019

The only way to finally break free from the imaginary baby chains that have been placed on women for hundreds of years, is to accept that some women just don’t want to be mothers.



Not every woman goes gooey at the sight of a toddler taking their first step.

Not every woman holds her stomach, dreaming of the day it will hold her child.

And women certainly do not get dogs because these act as a cheaper replacement to having kids.

As someone who has never felt the need to have children, but has owned a dog (a beautiful beagle named Riley) – I am offended. I am neither broke nor scared of responsibility; in fact, looking after a living being – human or otherwise – is definitely a big commitment.

I dare the author to proclaim this same statement to people who go home every day after work to walk their pets, who devote time and money on them to ensure they are well-taken care of or to approach an animal rescue centre and tell them ‘well, it’s not like you’re looking after kids, is it?’.

The only proof that the author seems to have towards her theory is that people are buying ‘premium nosh’ for their ‘little darlings’, which implies that dog owners are spending their hard-earned cash on their beloved animals instead of, what exactly – saving up for baby toys and a first-rate crib?

Furthermore, the article ignores those women who might be unable to bear children.

According to research, more of us are now choosing to have kids in our 30s instead of our 20s – and the reasons are complex. It may well be that some feel they’re not financially stable enough to have kids or don’t want the responsibility when still figuring out who they are or want to put their careers first.


But then there are others who quite simply do not want kids. Ever.

Those of us who will not ‘change our minds as we get older’ (people love to tell us that) or will ‘get lonely in a few years when the rest of our friends all have kids’.

This phrase is so often met with a cataclysmic reaction and the assumption that something is wrong with women who don’t have the desire to birth babies – it’s seen as a defect.

This couldn’t be more incorrect; it takes a strong woman to look at the expected way of living and say ‘actually, that’s not for me’ and live her life on her own terms.

I can understand that it might be difficult to put yourself in someone’s shoes if all you’ve ever wanted is a house filled with children’s laughter. And if you’ve never had the pleasure of owning a dog.

But whether you understand the decision of women like myself who do not want children, respect that we have no obligation to explain ourselves and should not be considered half-witted women or obsessive pet owners because of it.

Don’t do your fellow women this disservice – we’re just as worthy as your baby-loving pals.

No, owning a pet isn’t the same as having a kid – but if it brings the person joy, who has the right to denounce it?

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