A MAN who endured a four-and-a-half hour flight seated next to "an infant hippopotamus" who smelled like "blue cheese and Mumbai slum" has vented his anger in a hilarious complaint letter to Jetstar.

Blogger Rich Wisken had paid the extra $25 for an emergency exit row seat on his Jetstar flight from Perth to Sydney, but instead of enjoying the extra leg room he was pinned to his seat by his fellow passenger.

"Pinned to my seat by a fleshy boulder, I started preparing for a 127 Hours-like escape. Thankfully though, the beast moved slightly to his left, which allowed me to stand up, walk to the back of the plane and politely ask the cabin crew to be seated elsewhere," Mr Wiskin writes.

After having no luck with the flight attendants, who informed him spare seats at the back of the plane were reserved for the crew, he retreated to his seat.

"Unfortunately everyone with a row to themselves was now lying down.

"It was then I realised that my fate was sealed. I made my way back to Jabba the Hutt and spent the remainder of the flight smothered in side-boob and cellulite, taking shallow breaths to avoid noxious gas poisoning."

News_Rich_Media: A Frenchman stranded in the US because he was deemed too heavy to fly was finally allowed on a plane to Britain - only to be refused travel home by the Eurostar cross-channel train. Courtesy Sky News UK

But his travel horrors didn't end when his flight touched down in Sydney. Two days later Mr Wisken was flying from Sydney to Melbourne when his flight and his subsequent rescheduled flight were both cancelled.

On the third attempt his flight was then delayed two hours.

Jetstar emailed Mr Wisken offering him a $100 voucher in compensation. He posted a response on Jetstar's Facebook page but it was removed by the company so he contacted them again.

"Awesome work, Jetstar! Two of my flights in the past two days have been cancelled. You're so lucky that my favourite pastime is wasting both time and money getting to and from airports.

"Imagine how annoyed someone who doesn't LOVE wasting time and money would feel about this situation.

"Man, I'd hate to be that guy …"

Mr Wisken has vowed never to fly with the airline again.

Read his full letter here (language warning).