This is my story,My name is Rebekah and growing up was somewhat difficult for me. No matter what I did or how hard I tried I always seemed to be different. My mind is a whole new world that unfortunately most people don't understand. When I was 13, I noticed that people's lives kept moving on where mine just seemed to stand still. It's like no matter how hard I tried, I could never seem to catch up. This battle in my mind began to overpower me to the point where I was sad. Sadness slowly turned into a battle with depression. When I was 15, I finally became afraid. Afraid of life, living, and what I was going to do to myself. I will never forget the day I came to my mom for the first time in tears and said, " I think I need help." Lost and confused, completely overwhelmed with life, I went to the doctor and got my first perscription for antidepressants. I started counseling and for the first time in a long time I was finally able to put my mind back together. I met JT, who is now my husband, who quickly became my #1 support. Long story short, when I was 19 we got married. Two years into our marriage he joined the military. Through this time I was on and off of medication and no longer going to counseling. Everything in me wanted to fight this and at that time I had the strength. When he left for the first time my heart sank. Who was I and how was I going to fight this on my own? Luckily for me, I had an amazing support team in our hometown. I can't tell you the endless amount of days I would run to a friend's house or to our church home and ball me eyes out. Thankfully, I made it through and off we went to California. California was a dream for me but surely enough this dark enemy within me started sneaking up again. My husband was working all the time. I was on the other side of the country with no friends, no family, feeling completely alone. I remember one day running to the ocean where I would often go to unwind wishing all the screaming in my head would just stop. I began to take refuge in my dog, Addams. Being there, the culture was different. I could take him anywhere and I did. I was strong and I could do things on my own. I still ultimately made the decision to go back on medication and go to counseling. But of course, being a military family, it was time to move again. My husband went to Mississippi and I went to Florida. Things once again quickly spiraled out of control. I couln't have my dog and I couldn't talk to my husband. I went to the doctor to talk about my medication and when he walked in the room, I broke down. He literally sat there with me for a good 15 minutes while I just cried. "Well Mrs. Van Hove, looks like we need to re-evaluate." He took me to the head of the mental illness department and I was assigned a social worker. I saw him regularly. Finally my husband got orders, again, and we were headed to our next duty station where we would be for a while. FINALLY, I would be able to set some roots and this would all go away. We are together again and here it comes... it's back. Endless amounts of sadness, lonliness, and I hate everything. Back to the doctor I go. Once again, I'm back on medication and told I need to stay on it this time. At least a year. One year later... It's not better. WHY, WHY, WHY is this happening to me??? It's supposed to be better now!!! I once again start going to counseling and I'm contacted by the hospital twice a month, checking on me, evaluating my progress, and listening to me cry. NOTHING MAKES SENSE! It's time. It's time to be re-evaluated and find out whats going on. In June 2016, I'm finally diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Adult ADHD, and Autism Spectum Disorder (Aspergers). Everying falls into place. My whole life being this crazy unexplainable maddness, I am beginning to make sense of it all. The more research I do, the more I start to see the patterns, behaviors, and signs. But still it's this crazy huge journey of relearning my whole life.Even though this is only a smidgen of the story the bottom line is this, mental illness is serious. Between the lines, you see a meaningless, emotionless body with a brain. A brain that runs 1,000 miles an hour, 24-7. I'm afraid. The people around me are afraid. How do I fight this?? My psychologist recommended a therapy dog for me. Looking back at the years, the times I was the most free was when I could take my dog with me. I know I can have an emotional support animal, but reality is they can't go everywhere with me, still leaving me in the same place. Home. Alone. Afraid. I won't eat, I won't leave the house, and I won't buy groceries. I need a dog that can help me do all of those things. Addams is amazing and my best friend, but honestly he isn't up for the job. I need a working dog. I need a dog that is up for the job. Having a copious amount of anxiety+aspergers, I can't lie. I have to do this right. I need a trained service dog and I need your help. Appoximate funds needed will be between $10,000 and $15,000 dollars. Through updates and the training process we will know more exactly what we need. Im hoping to be able to give more answers as well as information as the process goes on. Where are we now? Well, I have the diagnosis, I have a dog picked out, and we have a trainer picked out. The dog we have currently selected is Athena.She is a rescue dog, Shepherd-Husky mix. She's amazing, smart, well behaved and beautiful. I have met with her once and I think we would be a good fit. We will need roughly $500 dollars to get the process started. She needs to go to the vet, we have to set up an appointment with the trainers to set up our training plan and they have to make sure shes a good candidate. The sooner we can start raising money the better. We need the money to adopt her and we need the money to get the evaluation done. If all goes well she's our dog and we can start training her.What does thismean for me? Having a Psychiatric Service Dog will help me with things like fear, anxiety attacks and making sure I'm taking my medication. She will be able to help me to navigate around crowds, placing herself between me and other people or showing me a way out when I'm feeling trapped. If I begin to have an attack of any sort she can calm me down with deep pressure therapy, keeping people away from me, or simply placing her head in my hands letting me know she is there and I'm not alone. Honestly, I'm sure there are so many ways she can help me that I don't even know about.If you are considering helping us make this huge life change for me, please know, from the bottom of my heart, that I am incredibly thankful. Not only are you helping me by giving me the confidence I need to be able to function normally and fight this battle, but you are helping me to be able to help other people. I want to be able to show others that depression doesnt have to kill you. Fear doesn't have to overtake you. And Autism doesn't have to limit you. Thank you so much.-Rebekah