My boys, I smile at you, as you roll around in the grass in my dream garden. One of you is aged three, constantly laughing, smiling or singing among your mess of cars, Thomas the Tank Engine trains and footballs. The other is a baby who is mainly interested in milk. You are both so beautifully innocent.

It’s good that you cannot see the worry behind my smiles, kisses and cuddles. How will you cope growing up in our Muslim family, with people apparently of the same religion in the news almost daily? What will life be like when you are adults when the hostility against us feels as if it is increasing day by day?

Like your mummy and daddy, and millions of other Muslims, I don’t think you will ever meet a violent extremist. However, they will be in your face daily via the news. You will never be prepared enough. They will affect your life fully and you will increasingly be judged alongside them. The stories will result in new laws that will in turn affect your daily life.

We don’t know who these people are. We don’t know the background behind these stories or the reality in those countries. Our friends and family often discuss it but then also have to stop the conversation because the topic is upsetting and confusing.

What will the school teachers do to test you out in accordance with new anti-terrorism laws? Will you be looked at with suspicion? Will you be accused of having “the wrong thoughts” by a staff member who is simply ignorant?

Our neighbours think you are so cute and we raise you to value them too. But do they also view you with suspicion, worried that you will grow up to be killers?

At what age will you first be insulted for your background and how will I explain it? Will things get more dangerous for you with time?

We will raise you to have the same compassionate Islamic views we have always had, and I believe you will strive to be kind, just like your daddy and me. Rather, I am more scared that you will grow up with the same self-loathing and depression that is spreading among Muslims as a result of the continual trickle of negative news regarding people of the same faith.

I really hope you can stay positive and avoid depression. I wonder how it will be for you as an adult in this country when we already wish everything featuring “Muslims” on the news would just disappear. If only it would.

Like any mother, I wish you ease and happiness and I’m so very sorry I couldn’t give birth to you both in better times.

All my love,

Mummy