I’m at a loss for words. I have been avoiding this blog all week and now Sunday evening is upon me and my fingers are resisting, my mind is tired.

I was scheduled to write about our new camping gear for the upcoming camping season, but I can’t bring myself to think of anything much other than a mother who is sitting in her home, rocking her infant daughter and mourning the loss of the love of her life.

On Monday, I learned that a friend lost her partner and father to their beautiful 9 month old baby girl, in a tragic traffic accident. I just can’t seem to shake the thought of how in the split of a second, the topography of life as you know it can be transformed forever.

My heart aches for her and simultaneously it is racing out of my chest, for I can’t stop my mind from wandering to the what ifs. Since becoming a mother, I have become acutely aware of my mortality and I try my best to reign in my psychotic trysts down that dark, scary road as best I can. Usually with a good amount of success.

I have done a lot of cleaning this week. It’s cathartic. I have held my baby tighter and od’d on the smell of her tangerine-flavored neck and stayed up late into the night seeking solace, support and comfort in my husband’s voice and yet this heaviness still lingers. I know it will lift. I know my friend, with time and the support of all of her loved ones, will heal. I know. I guess I just needed to share. I wanted to remind you to hold your husband’s hand and kiss your baby’s pinky and laugh with your mom and do things that inspire you. Every day. As if..