Story highlights Clarkson is opening up about her battle to conform to fame's expectations of beauty

She said she was always in the gym but it punished her body

(CNN) Kelly Clarkson may have looked good to some years ago when she was dieting and working out to stay thin, but she is now saying she didn't feel good.

The singer is clarifying some comments she made to Attitude magazine about battling her weight.

"When I was really skinny I wanted to kill myself," the publication quoted her as saying . "I was miserable, like inside and out, for four years of my life. But no one cared, because aesthetically you make sense."

Clarkson, 35, first burst on the music scene after winning the first season of "American Idol" in 2002.

With fame also came the pressures of maintaining a certain look. The magazine quoted Clarkson as calling that period of her life "a very dark time for me."