I’ve learned to ignore most of the religious memes that come through on Facebook. You know the type–the ones that encourage people to see a belief in a church-based God as the best way to live life. I’ve accepted the fact that even though I may disagree at times, the message has value to the person who posts it, and I try to be respectful of that. But I took an exception with this one.

CHURCH HURT: IF BEING HURT BY CHURCH CAUSES YOU TO LOSE FAITH IN GOD, THEN YOUR FAITH WAS IN PEOPLE, NOT IN GOD.

At face value, there is some truth to the meme. Even though most churches claim that they are doing God’s business, what that means varies widely by culture and belief. The simple fact remains that man-made institutions, especially those claiming privilege and favor based on an alleged godly connection, have framed their ideas of the divine with human values and judgments.

A Bigger Picture of the Creator

In all fairness, if one were to set religions aside and the way that believers generally limit God by their human perceptions, then there may be some truth behind the meme’s message. This would, however, necessitate framing the Creator as outside of the human judgment and condemnation that is often found within many modern religions. It would ask that all people see “God,” as a balanced, benevolent, creative force, without showing favoritism, and which on a fundamental level, allows the universe to experience and express life in many diverse and even conflicting ways.

As is, the meme at its best communicates the message that the religious-defined God will always exist, giving hope to the faithful, waiting for the prodigal to return to the religion/God, and also reminding the reader that God will always be around, even for those who choose to no longer believe in “him.” At the same time, the meme speaks to the believer, affirming his or her sense of religious identity. The sentiment applauds those who remain true to their religion, in spite of the many human-induced problems, mainly because they are faithful to the God.

What happens when there really are no sides to take? That question is seldom asked in religious circles at face value, because it threatens the prevailing belief that there must be an evil them in order for there to be a righteous us. In the more extreme Christian mindset, if life is not a battle between good and evil, then where does one find meaning in life? In a sense they must create a battleground of good and evil to confirm their own identity. The messages behind Christian memes are often subtle, and usually well-intentioned, and as expected, the underlying premise communicates that only the religious way of seeing life is viable.

The Habit-Laden Brain

Having once been a devoutly religious adherent, I understand how human belief can compel people to ignore differences in belief. Research indicates that people are very adept at dismissing information that does not support their worldview. Twisting contradictory facts to support our own beliefs is a cognitive flaw that plagues all human beings. Yet, as humans, we collectively choose to ignore the solutions that continue to tear people apart. Most of us know by now that our brains bias us to see our worldview as right and as the most correct, yet most of us refuse to allow our own worldview to factor this bias into how we see and interact with each other. If we would be willing to do the latter, I believe that doors, which were once slammed shut, would open to allow more compassion in life.

When a culture truly believes that their worldview is superior to that of everyone else, of course that belief is going to pervade their day-to-day communications. What seems perfectly reasonable and compassionate to one group can come across as belligerent and arrogant to others. That is just how unconscious humans roll, particularly in the world of politics and religion, where being right often supersedes the larger issue of seeking “what” is right in bringing forth the most benevolent good for everyone involved.

Religious Excuses and Identity

I grew up Mormon. When religious stalwarts willingly left the faith, it created a substantial amount of cognitive dissonance for the believers. Members excused the believer’s departure as some type of flaw. They taught that the exiting member had either succumbed to Satan, had allowed angry emotions to override their common sense and faithful commitment, or that they had developed some mental instability and had gone insane. My own father once told me that I have turned to the dark side and am under Satan’s influence. Sigh.

This type of thinking is rooted in religious unconsciousness, where the tribal mindset causes members to frame the world according to how the religion says it must be seen. It gains momentum off of the unconscious brain that compels people to be right and to dismiss things that do no support their views. The group dynamics and culture encourage this unconscious thinking, reinforcing its own identity and value by excluding and often denigrating those who are different.

From the faithful member’s view, leaving the faith is never, ever seen as life-affirming or as a healthy move away from the institution and the God that it represents. In a sense, members are blinded by their own faith. They do not allow themselves to see how the institution often manipulates its constituents by teaching them to be afraid of life outside of religious belief. Members do not see how the religion, in many ways, teaches them to be unconscious as to why and just how much they allow their home team to dictate how they think and feel about life.

But then again, when you believe something very strongly, the brain is much less likely to look at conflicting information objectively. This unconscious tendency keeps any human illusion running on full power. We all have succumbed to this common cognitive flaw. What do we do with our propensity to protect our own illusionary beliefs? Do we continue to call it God’s will, or just the way life is, or do we step back and take a hard look at what we have been telling ourselves and why?

Musings on the Perpetually Flawed Human

Even though the meme’s message admits that humans are fallible, it also asserts that to see life optimally, one must have faith in God. The inferred implication is that if an unbeliever chooses to ignore said premise, and does not believe accordingly, then the human being is still somehow flawed in how he or she chooses to experience life.

The problem is that most religious believers choose to define God according to their tradition’s take on the subject. Many espouse that in order for people to truly get the best reward in heaven, people must only believe in their version of reality. The brain unconsciously compels people to accept their idea of rightness as factual, even when it may not be. With this mindset, little room exists for allowing different beliefs to find equal place and value at the table of life.

The Perks of Being an Unbeliever

Perhaps Atheists and Agnostics hold the key to living a freer life because they don’t feel compelled to limit their perceptions by what a human idea of God says life must be. They are free to experience life without conforming their views to religious rules that more often than not, divide the religious tribe from the rest of their human family. Studies have shown that people living in secular nations make for better and more compassionate neighbors than those who live in countries with strong religious ties.

Hiding the Truth

Growing up, I often heard a particular logic. The same excuse was thrown at me when I left my faith, even though there was no truth behind the claim. When a stalwart member suddenly left the faith, members would reassure themselves of their rightness by saying that the problems were with the people and not the church. They meant that faith should override any internal disagreements, as after all, it was the religious institution that would inevitably carry people into God’s presence.

Yet, when a church, which allegedly represents God and the highest good for everyone on earth, consistently covers up sexual abuse within the institution, whitewashes its own problematic history of racism, prejudice, and folk magic to make it more palatable to the general populace, encourages blatant misogyny, and hides how it siphons off money from its tithe-paying members to supplement its corporate holdings, to put it frankly, a huge gorilla is hiding in their ecclesiastical broom closet. The door opens and it pounces from time to time, and then it gets shoved back inside, but sooner or later the gorilla is going to get out of there and roar. The lack of transparency speaks for itself.

This brings up another question. How can one separate God from a church, especially when the church is structured to define God to its members? God and the church go hand in hand, with the institution profiting off of its members and unabashedly using the idea of the divine to further its own institutional ideas, needs and wealth. Institutions advertise their version of God, telling people what they need to do to get rewards, promising them blessings if they pay their tithes and offerings and contribute to the health of the organization. It’s not just the Mormons who do it.

The corporatization of Jesus Christ and other religions and promoting relevant religious materials are the basis for huge business worldwide. By itself, marketing to meet the needs of religious groups is not nefarious, and it creates a strong sense of culture, but when the marketing is used as a means of telling people that they must spend money to buy their way to heaven, then the gorilla is scratching at the door again.

A More Inclusive Perspective

Some religions exist like the Universalist Unitarians whose mission statement encourages embracing all beliefs and coming together in service to each other and their communities. The religion, however, is often described by more traditional Christians as the believe whatever you want church. The Unitarians have moved beyond the unconscious religious mindset to be a more welcoming, diverse, and inclusive social group when compared to the more exclusive aspects of Christianity. They do not need the threat of Hellfire and brimstone in order to keep their congregants loyal to the institution.

The truth of the matter is that the Creator is much, much bigger than any one religion. Limiting life by unconscious human perceptions and framing it as God is precisely the problem. Even though religions generally claim that God prefers one way of living and honoring life, across the globe the facts behind human existence simply don’t bear this out.

The universal Creator does not support religious believers over unbelievers. The Creator does not prefer white over black, or educated over uneducated, or rich over poor, or heterosexuals over gays, or religious over nonreligious—all of the ways that we humans tend to separate ourselves in the name of a religious God. All people struggle with life. All people experience joys and successes. It’s part of what it means to be human.

We don’t have all of the answers and to pretend otherwise is folly, and that tendency plays right into the brain’s need to skew reality to create a sense of predictability and safety. We would rather pretend that we control life, when in reality we do not. To have a sense of security and predictability is the unconscious cognitive need that organized religion has met. Religions teach that if we do x, y, and z, then life should always happen a certain way, but it often doesn’t and then where are people left, but to say that God is testing their faith. I think I hear the gorilla scratching on the door again.

The Bigger Truth

All of us, regardless of our status, class, or skin color are cherished unconditionally by the Creator. This is the bigger truth. All types of experiences on earth are allowed by the Creator without condemnation or interference. If it weren’t so, people would be forced into one belief. The promised threats for religious nonconformance would come true by inexplicable means. The religious would never have anything bad happen to them. Only the faithful would prosper. Instead, life goes on with religious believers largely creating pain for others in the name of fulfilling their religious beliefs. It is not God that causes pain for other humans. We do it to ourselves and then call it God.

In creating the bigger picture, religious believers also exist who are compassionate and who are able to look beyond the brain’s unconscious tendency to only allow one worldview as valid. In my experience, they are few, but perhaps a greater truth is that they are less vocal about their more inclusive beliefs than are those who need to evangelize a world of good and evil to justify their existence. Sadly, many people across all walks of life, refuse to see their own part in the unconscious game that we all play of needing to be right and then often denigrating those who disagree because of it. Such goes the unconscious brain.

Life’s experiences reflect how our choices affect our world, regardless of how institutions and groups may frame things. Unfortunately we humans, and our controlling institutions have a long history of trying to suppress living life as free and sovereign beings, exactly by keeping things within the belief box that contains our very manipulatable unconscious minds.

© Cristi Jenkins 2015 All Rights Reserved

Cristi is the author of Closing the Chapel Doors: A Guide to Letting Go of Religious Guilt and Fear.