Most people de-vein their shrimp, say they don’t wanna eat the feces.

I peel back the brown track with my teeth and suck it out first.

Most people also don’t know shrimp will strip a corpse in three months.

Two more, and the wife is out of my system forever.

Alexandra Keister is an executive assistant and writer hungry for success, and on most days a good maple bar. She always de-veins her shrimp.