A WOMAN has apparently taken it upon herself to find the most inappropriate places possible to take a baby, it has been confirmed.

Helen Archer said: “I really just think there’s not enough research in this field and I’ve taken it upon myself to find out.”

“You get so many books on where to take a baby, but where are all the books on where not to take a baby?

“I just don’t know if I can get away with taking my baby to places I previously loved going to – like a busy high street Costa, the silent section of the library, or Propaganda for two-for-one glitterbombs on Fridays.

“I know my baby would be pretty embarrassed if he found out that he was impeding on my social life, or missed out on seeing Kanye at the O2 just because he’s not capable of holding his own head up yet.

“Now, how can I get a pram into a casino?”