aaronexplainsitall answered:

Okay friend, I’m going to give you the run down. Are you sitting comfortably?

2PM GMT - SOME TAYLOR SWIFT FANS DECIDE - FOR SEEMING ABSOLUTELY NO INTELLIGIBLE REASON - THAT THERE IS A MURAL IN NASHVILLE THAT RELATES TO TAYLOR’S NEW ALBUM



THERE ARE NO FACTS TO BACK THIS UP



TAYLOR HAS NOT SPOKEN OF THIS MURAL



HER TEAM HAVE NOT SPOKEN OF THIS MURAL



THE ONLY VAGUE LINK IS THAT IT RELATES TO HER INSTAGRAM AESTHETIC



THEY’RE GATHERING IN THEIR HUNDREDS BY THIS MURAL CONVINCED THAT SHE’S GOING TO SHOW UP



WHY?



ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING REASON



FLASH FORWARD (and we’re taking on the world together, and there’s a drawer of my things at your place) TO 5PM GMT



AND THE ENTIRE TAYLOR SWIFT FANDOM ON TUMBLR IS BRACING FOR THEIR MOM TO CALL THEM BOO BOO THE FOOL LIKE SHE DID WHEN THEY ASSERTED CONFIDENTLY THAT BECAUSE THERE WERE FIVE HOLES IN A FENCE ON ONE OF HER INSTAGRAM PICTURES THAT A COUNTDOWN WAS HAPPENING



THEY’RE ASSUMING CRASH POSITIONS



THIS IS GOING TO BE AN OUTING OF STUPIDITY TO THE ENTIRE WORLD



NEWS CREWS ARE GATHERING —- AGAIN FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN THE FANS THINK SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THIS THESIS



EVERYONE ON TUMBLR IS DISTRESSED



DISMAYED



“THE WORLD WILL KNOW THAT WE’RE INSANE!!” THEY CRY, THEIR SELF-AWARENESS THEIR LAST REDEEMING FEATURE



AND THEN



WHEN ALL HOPE IS LOST



TAYLOR ‘I’M POTENTIALLY THE ONLY PERSON MORE BATSHIT CRAZY THAN MY FANS’ SWIFT GETS HER CLOWN ASS ON INSTAGRAM



AND CONFIRMS THAT IT IS HER FUCKING MURAL AND THAT SHE IS ON THE WAY THERE



“YOU FIGURED OUT (my secrets and I figure out why you’re guarded, you say we’ll never make my parents’ mistakes) THE CLUE!” SHE SHRIEKS



THERE WERE NO CLUES



NOT ONE

THEY TURNED UP IN DROVES BECAUSE THEY ALL DESPERATELY NEED TO GET A JOB



AND THEN - 6PM GMT - THIS ANGEL/DEVIL WOMAN TURNS UP AT THE MURAL AND TAKES WHAT SEEMS LIKE A SELFIE WITH LITERALLY ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE WHO’S THERE - WHICH BY THE WAY, IS ABOUT 500 PEOPLE AT THIS POINT



AND SAYS! NOTHING ABOUT THE ALBUM! NOTHING ABOUT THE SINGLE! NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING!



SHE JUST SHOWS UP AND SAYS HEY (it was enchanting to meet you)



OUTSTANDING



LITERALLY OUTSTANDING

WHO KNEW SUCH CLOWNERY AND TOMFOOLERY WAS POSSIBLE?



NOT I, GENTLE READER! NOT THE FUCK I!



I’m literally in love with Taylor Swift, I have never wanted to be a celebrity’s friend more than in this moment. She’s so messy and I live for literally every second of it, we are SOUL MATES.