Startup founders are under intense pressure to hire candidates fast if they manage to impress during their interviews. The job market in tech is hot, and good people get snapped up quickly.

But making an offer without due diligence is like marrying someone because they look good in mauve. It will end in tears.

One reason why hiring is hard is because it’s heavily dependent on self-reporting: resumes, interviews and the choice of references are all information provided by the candidate.

Self-regulation almost always fails when the stakes are high, as the financial industry has taught us repeatedly. Job seekers face similar incentives.

So why do self-reporting and self-regulation exist at all? Because the alternatives are too costly. Except when we are hiring for the most crucial roles, small-business owners and founders simply don’t have time to conduct lengthy investigations to locate and interview references the candidate doesn't mention.

So we have to learn to use the reference check, flawed as it is. How am I, as the person hiring, supposed to glean useful information from a group of people selected because they're biased in the candidate's favor? It turns out there are several ways.

First, let’s be clear: Anyone who has made it to the reference stage of the hiring process knows how to present themselves, act appropriately with a potential employer, and has sufficient experience to make me believe they can do the job.

They have also given me the contact information of their last three managers and direct reports without hesitation. No employer should be conducting reference checks on a candidate who doesn’t meet these basic requirements.

What I’m looking for in a reference check interview, then, aren’t the obvious faults. They’re the nuances, the tendencies that only emerge over time, the habits that can’t possibly be detected in a normal, hourlong job interview.

All right, a couple thoughts before the call. You will successfully persuade a reference to say negative things about their friend — it makes them feel disloyal, and rightly so — so you can't approach it directly. Instead, take the opposite approach, build trust, and get them to empathize with you. Give them an elevator pitch on your company, so that they know this could be a good next step for the candidate. Everyone should want the same thing from this call: confirmation that this particular candidate and this precise job are a good fit, or not.

I’ve spent more than 30 hours on the phone to hire our team of 15, and these are my seven question sets to drive a reference check.

1. How do you know her? How long have you worked together, and what did you work on?

Boring, right? Not all questions are asked to get information. These are to warm things up. I know the answers already, because the candidate will have told me. They’re innocuous, and they give me a chance to make small talk with the reference and build rapport.

2. What can we do for her?

This is where you turn the tables. I don’t need the reference to toot their friend’s horn. I know that’s what they are prepared to do, and they probably have a couple pat answers, which are worth as much to me as a bucket of warm spit.

Instead, I want them to reimagine the situation from their friend’s point of view and sincerely ask themselves how this job and my company will benefit them. Getting this job will not be good for the candidate if it’s not the right match. It only works if it works for everyone.

Example: I was doing a reference check on someone we later hired as an engineer. Her manager told me she had complained about red tape, so we needed to be a fast organization where decisions weren't made for political reasons. "Give her the room to run and build and she’ll be much happier,” she told me. This was her actual manager at the time: a great sign of how open the engineer was.

3. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Our company is no exception. What are some of the skills our team should have to complement hers?

The point of the interview and hiring process is to build something. It’s quite literally constructive, and this question asks for constructive feedback on the candidate. You want to set them up for success, so you have to make sure the people and resources exist for that. Some people need strategic guidance, but handle details very well. Others work best on small, tight teams. What’s important here is that you’ve made it OK for the reference to tell you how the candidate fits well on a team while encouraging them to remain loyal to their friend. Keep it constructive.

Example:Hiring another engineer, I was told by a former manager that I should pair him up with an experience engineer. We were told he was most effective with a little guidance on prioritization, but did fine on testing and code quality. (Names are omitted and some specifics have been changed...). Since we had just hired a great senior engineer with a decade's experience in operating systems, we knew we could handle those constraints.

4. Do you remember a specific case where he/she delivered on a difficult task in a way that was either ahead of schedule or above expectations?

This gives the reference an opportunity to tell a story that makes his friend shine. It's actually not important what she delivered. This question, like the first, is not what it appears to be. The answer will show you what her optimum work conditions are. It may also allow you to deduce whether you can supply those conditions. You’ll learn what pushes her to excel, what she really loves, and how you can best motivate her once she joins the team.

5. How likely would you be to choose her as a co-founder on a scale of 1 to 10?

This is one of my core questions, and comes after the halfway point, because by then I hope I've built enough rapport to get a truthful answer. Most people will put the candidate between a seven and eight. The real value comes in asking why they’re not a ten. In a world where everyone gets a B+ or above, B+ is essentially a failing grade. You can’t expect the candidate to be perfect, and this question lets you solicit and decode criticism in a socially acceptable way.

6. You're hiring your third employee and could poach anyone. You make a list of candidates. Where is she on that list? Why? For which role exactly?

The key part of this question is the “for which role.” I want them to tell me about the specific role this person would play in a four or five person team. Technical leader? All around great flexible engineer? Idea person? Detail-oriented executor? What you’re doing is asking the reference to put themselves in your shoes: an employer building a team.

Example: a reference once said “She’s top 5 overall. Not #1 because I’m not good at getting money and she’s not either, so my #1 hire would be a business guy. But in terms of technical leadership and ability, she’s my #1 hire.

7. Would you work for her? (If it’s plausible, why didn't you?)

Again, you’re turning things on their head and asking the reference to think about the candidate in new ways. You’re also making this interview very personal, and very focused on the reference. If you do it right, they’ll open up to you, and that’s the best information you can hope to get.

That's it. Seven questions. Three of them are thought exercises. Most of them are surprises. All of them are constructive. The best part of these phone calls are the questions that come up spontaneously.

I’ll often jump off the prescribed routed to chase down something interesting the reference mentions in passing. The questions above are merely the skeleton of a conversation, the rind on the orange.

Remember how much rapport matters. Smile broadly while you talk, even though it's a phone call — the other person can hear it in your voice. Walk around during the call if it will raise your energy. If you have experience in direct sales, it will serve you well here. Your team is your rocket ship. Build it carefully, and good luck.