This just in!

Turns out that God really doesn’t like abbreviations or nicknames. So please from now on do not refer to God as, Jesus, Yahweh, Jehovah, savior, Adonai, Alpha, Omega, Beginning, nor End. Please avoid Allah, Lord, Christ, and The Way, The Truth and Light. Please don’t call him Father, Son, or Elohim. Do not use Shaddi, Eloi, Former of all things, Creator or Fountain of Living Waters. Don’t say, King of kings, lord of lords or even the great I AM. Better not use the Word either, even if the word was made flesh.

In fact here is a convenient list of names to avoid in a reference book called the Bible. You can look them up yourself so you avoid calling the personification of goodness by abbreviated names… such as ‘God‘.

I implore you, from now on please the correct term, the ‘Fridge.‘ After all you wouldn’t want to be helping Satan, Lucifer, the Fallen one out right? Don’t offend him with the wrong name.

Your servant and revelator of chill,

– Profet

PS. Don’t forget to go get yourself a cold one from your God, er I mean the Fridge. For the Fridge always sustains and never faileth to provide sustenance and drink.

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