man: crap! someone stole my wallet! man: how am i supposed to exist without money?! and my license! credit cards! everything! man: my cell phone and keys are gone too! someone just stole my entire life! my identity! man: well, only one thing to do man: murder someone and steal their identity man: hmm, he looks enough like me and i'm pretty sure i can take him man: alright, here we go man: oh, heh. i keep all that stuff in my other pocket now man: sir, you have no idea how close i was to murdering you just now! man: this close *motions a distance with his hands* distance between left and right pants pockets

phew!