Balance is required in all things. And since we at the CFC are perfectly willing to check somebody when they get it wrong, we are also willing to give you some resources and pointers on how to get it right. But when it comes to combatting privilege, often folks are unwilling to acknowledge the privilege they have, until someone who also has privilege does the same.

With regard to male privilege, the discussions on choking during sex that we’ve been having have made this fact abundantly clear. So below is a list of readings, most of them short and accessible, and a couple of clips that men can watch if they want to know what it means to be a feminist ally.

In response to choking, men, and rape culture, I’ll quote this short piece from Nathan McCall:

“I’ve heard all the Macho Men’s room talk, and I’d say the number of boys and men who harbor blurry notions about the liberties they can rightfully take with a female is nothing less than mind-boggling. If truth be told, on some level of awareness or another, most men don’t get it.”

You can read the rest of this short essay, “Men: We Just Don’t Get It” inTraps: African American Men on Gender and Sexuality edited by Rudolph Byrd and Beverly Guy-Sheftall.

Also check out

Shira Tarrant. Men Speak Out: Views on Gender, Sex, and Power. Routledge 2008.



Aaronette White. Ain’t I a Feminist: African American Men Speak Out on Fatherhood, Friendship, Forgiveness, and Freedom. SUNY Press, 2008.

Mark Anthony Neal. New Black Man. Routledge 2005.

Nathalie Hopkinson and Natalie Y. Moore. Deconstructing Tyrone: A New Look At Black Masculinity in the Hip-Hop Generation. Cleis Press, 2006.

Gary Lemons. Black Male Outsider: Teaching as a Pro-Feminist Man. SUNY Press, 2008.

I hope this short list will help you get started.

I’m also very sure that I missed some useful resources, so feel free to share them in the comments section.