Wake up to hugs and kissesWeigh-in 2kgs lighter than yesterdayBreakfast in bed – freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents – expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partnerSoothing hot bath with frangipani bath oilLight work-out at club with sexy, amusing personal trainerFacial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow waveLunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor caféCatch sight of partner’s ex and notice that she has gained 17kgsShopping with friends: unlimited creditNapMassage from strong but gentle hunk – says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect bodyChoose outfit from expensive designer wardrobeCandlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancersHot shower – aloneCarried to bed. Freshly ironed, crisp white linenPillow talk, light touching and cuddlingFall asleep in his big, strong arms

The Perfect Day For Him

AlarmBlow jobMassive, satisfying shit while reading the sports sectionBreakfast – steak and eggs, coffee and toast – all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growlerLimo arrivesSeveral beers en route to the airportFlight in personal Lear jetLimo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)Play front nine (2 under par)Lunch-steak and lobster, three beers and bottle of Dom PerignonBlow jobPlay back nine (4 under)Limo back to airport (several bourbons)Fly to BahamasLate afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot showing their growlersLand world record Marlin (1234lbs) – on light tackleFly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson (bending over showing her growler, naturally)Shit, shower and shaveWatch news – Michael Jackson assassinatedDinner – lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of titsNapoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV as you watch football gameSex with three women, all with lesbian tendenciesMassage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beerNight-cap blow jobIn bed aloneA 22-second fart which changes note four times and forces the dog to leave the roomLaugh yourself to sleep