Everyone who moved here six years ago: call your Midwestern families and make sure they’re safe. It’s a good bet that their collective eyes are rolling right out of their heads after reading this story about a hippie cult in Venice run by a former child actor getting busted for selling kombucha.

And yet, sadly, the stereotypes in this sordid tale are apparently completely accurate. As Curbed LA reports, one-time teen heartthrob Andrew Keegan has of late been heading up a brand new religion (seriously) on Rose Avenue called Full Circle, which sounds like either a late-90’s prog rock band or a joint old folks home/cemetery, but is surprisingly neither.

Apparently, Keegan (Seventh Heaven/Ten Things I Hate About You) and his acolytes got busted for dishing out servings of the very, very, very low-alcohol drink kombucha (which is a sort of fermented tea praised by thin, weird people) as part of an undercover sting. Yes, really.

Those heady bureaucrats over at the state's Alcoholic Beverage Control called the sting a success after serving out a misdemeanor citation, and noted perhaps unflatteringly that they’re a "complaint-driven agency," which is what started the whole thing off in the first place. To read between the lines: somebody narc’d on the free kombucha, and in the process harshed the mellows of an entire Venice religion.

Frankly, that’s less than chill.