The problem experienced by the research participants with the "equal but different" teaching, is that, inevitably, concepts such as headship and authority end up meaning, in practice, men behave in a controlling and rule-based way towards women. If the women in any way questioned, protested, or disputed the dominant narrative of Christian womanhood, they got a strong push-back from leaders and other church members.

What is taught as "absolute truth" and embedded in the created order in these churches is the permanent subordination of women. This means sexual expression is limited to heterosexual marriage only. The subordination of women is taught as the counterpart of male headship and leadership in a marriage; a "complementarian rather than egalitarian" style of relationship.

The people I spoke to reported multiple negative interactions with church leaders and members. Most participants named the treatment of lesbians, gays and anyone with an alternative sexual identity as one of their major catalysts in leaving the church.

Another key finding of my study is that the evangelical Christian church is not an explicitly authoritarian or coercive system of power. It is not simply a binary structure with dominators on one side and the dominated on the other. Power and influence over its members is exercised in a more subtle net-like manner. That is, individuals are not only subject to this form of judgment, but also exercise it; with everyone seemingly complicit in maintaining the stability of the church organisation.

This might at least go some way to explain why women seem to participate freely (at least for a time) in their own subjugation, and even experience unspeakable suffering in emotionally and psychologically violent relationships. Or that single women (straight and gay) willingly forgo sex and children, when they also admit to feeling torn up inside about the consequences.

One person spoke of a culture where "problem people" were akin to an occupational, health and safety hazard. These "problem people" were noted, spoken of in private, and even marginalised in public.

Others spoke of "group-think" and an homogenising culture where they became so "interiorised", they actively self-monitored and self-fashioned themselves so as not to become noticed or corrected. One research participant explained: "The surveillance is set up in the households, in the small groups, in the large groups. If someone is worried about you, they will bring you into question – you're put under the pump, you are required to toe the party line."

Prescribed gender roles for men and women in particular are then reinforced through a specific view of scripture that cannot be questioned, despite public teaching that all sermons and Bible study is open to discussion and comment. Hence the Bible, which on the one hand is used to teach Christian freedom and a renewed relationship with the God of love, is then used to conveniently oppress women and to have them subscribe willingly to that oppression. As one woman said, "There is no need to fight a revolution if no one revolts."