When M was first bullied, I didn’t see much. The first incident was in grade 1, and I thought many of the stresses of attending school full time was getting to him. I mistook the signs as something minor. Thankfully, M could talk to me, and he told me what was happening. I know how lucky I was that he did talk. Many children do not tell their parents when bullying occurs, and parents often find out after something awful has happened.

I think one of the main reasons why bullying is so hard to combat is because we do not see it. We don’t know when it happens because the kids do not tell us. We have to rely on seeing the bullying first hand or watching for the signs.

Before we go over the signs, I want to start by saying that it is okay if you missed them. It is not your fault if you didn’t know if your child was bullied. Bullying occurs under the radar. In fact, many people are not even aware of what bullying is, and if they don’t understand the problem, how can they see it or solve it.

Throughout the posts, I have looked at a number of things involving bullying and the emotions surrounding bullying, but I haven’t looked at bullying itself. If you are here because you are not sure if your child is being bullied, this is an perfect place to start.

There are often signs that you will see if your child is being bullied. However, it is important to realize that some signs can be misdiagnosed, so it is necessary to open up a dialogue with your child about bullying before you move to the next step.

Signs of Bullying

Before I move on to the actual signs, I want to touch on one sign specifically, and that is physical signs. It is essential to note that physical signs may not always be evident as there may be no physical bullying occurring. Please read the article on types of bullying to understand the differences between bullying.

For example, M was slapped by the bullies who were targeting him. Since they were regularly hitting him lightly so the teacher wouldn’t notice, he never had a bruise from the assault. There were no physical signs of bullying with M.

My nephew, on the other hand, was bullied in kindergarten and came home to clear fingerprint bruises on his neck where the bully had strangled him. When you are looking for physical signs, you should look for the following:

Unexplained injuries such as bruises and scratches.

Atypical injuries. Shins, wrists, any place where there is an injury that is in a strange spot on the body. While some can be explained, others can’t.

Shins, wrists, any place where there is an injury that is in a strange spot on the body. While some can be explained, others can’t. Reoccurring injuries. The same injury occurs over and over again

The same injury occurs over and over again Self-harming injuries. I will discuss self harming later on in this blog, but a self harming injury could be an indicator of bullying. While we need to focus on the self-harm specifically, and it is imperative that you seek outside medical assistance, the bullying will also need to be addressed as that is the reason behind the self harm.

In addition to physical signs, there are also a large number of signs that you may or may not see. Remember, you will not see all of the signs as bullying affects children in different ways. In addition, some signs may be more obvious than others. Signs that you may see are:

Loss of items. This can include books, toys, electronics and even lunches.

This can include books, toys, electronics and even lunches. Destroyed items. Again, the bully may destroy any object that the child has at school with him or her. Many times the destroyed items are clothing.

Again, the bully may destroy any object that the child has at school with him or her. Many times the destroyed items are clothing. Loss of interest. Your child may become disinterested in his hobbies and may lose all interest in school. Often, declining grades on report cards are the first indication of this sign.

Your child may become disinterested in his hobbies and may lose all interest in school. Often, declining grades on report cards are the first indication of this sign. Refusal to attend school. Your child may fight having to go to school and may experience anxiety when entering the school.

Your child may fight having to go to school and may experience anxiety when entering the school. Segregation. Loss of friends, inability to connect with peers, not being invited to parties or other social events. Part of this could be self-inflicted, but it could also be social bullying.

Loss of friends, inability to connect with peers, not being invited to parties or other social events. Part of this could be self-inflicted, but it could also be social bullying. Physical Symptoms. Nausea, headaches, feeling sick, etc., can all be symptoms of bullying. Many times, bullying causes anxiety, which becomes a physical symptom.

Nausea, headaches, feeling sick, etc., can all be symptoms of bullying. Many times, bullying causes anxiety, which becomes a physical symptom. Inability to sleep. When your child does fall asleep, he or she may experience nightmares and have a hard time staying asleep.

When your child does fall asleep, he or she may experience nightmares and have a hard time staying asleep. Increased negative feelings. The child feels angry, sad, frustrated and acts upon them. In addition, the child may feel worthless and will feel utterly helpless. M often feels this way, and it is the reason why we have difficulties with the school. They want M to change and often forget to deal with the cause of the symptom.

The child feels angry, sad, frustrated and acts upon them. In addition, the child may feel worthless and will feel utterly helpless. M often feels this way, and it is the reason why we have difficulties with the school. They want M to change and often forget to deal with the cause of the symptom. Eating habits will change. Many children will begin to have problems with eating. Some children will begin binge eating; others will begin dieting. Many kids will stop eating at school and will binge when they get home.

Many children will begin to have problems with eating. Some children will begin binge eating; others will begin dieting. Many kids will stop eating at school and will binge when they get home. Running. We often don’t think of this as a bullying sign; however, kids who are bullied will try to run away from school, home or anywhere else that should be safe for them.

We often don’t think of this as a bullying sign; however, kids who are bullied will try to run away from school, home or anywhere else that should be safe for them. Talking about wanting to die. Finally, many children who are bullied will either talk about suicide or will attempt it. If your child talks about self-harm, please seek immediate help.

Children can experience one or more of these signs, and if you see any physical sign of bullying, seek help with the bullying issue.