Well, here we are 12 days* after the brutal massacre of 17 students and teachers at a Parkland, Florida high school, which was only the latest in a series of unprovoked mass public killings that have terrorized the United States. By now, you’d think, the president would have formulated a plan of response—a set of legislative and administrative initiatives that he seeks to sell to voters and lawmakers as an effort to make the country less likely to suffer through another tragic and deadly day like Feb. 14.

Haha, JK. Here is what Donald Trump is currently thinking about, mass shooting–wise, according to his remarks Monday at a White House meeting:

You know, I really believe … you don’t know until you’re tested, but I think I—I really believe I’d have run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon.

Ah, yes—the always-germane policy question of whether a 71-year-old man who once applied to be excused from military service because of “bone spurs” would have taken on the job of disabling a violently angry 19-year-old armed with a powerful semiautomatic weapon.

What’s Canada like this time of year? No, that’s not the right question—what’s Anywhere like this time of year?