Sadly, this is based on a true story. A story involving shoes, shoe Goo and a sharpie. I am all about class.

(Added 8-19) I AM WEARING PANTS IN PANEL 4!! It's not a great drawing, but that's what pants do when you affect that pose. Either I'm weating pants and they're wrinkling a bit, or my left inner thigh has shark gills. Take a picture of yourself in that pose and see if your pants hang well.