Man who fucked a dead pig chooses to mock another man’s suit

A man who fucked a dead pig’s face has today decided that mocking people for not having an expensive suit is a perfectly legitimate thing to do.

Prime minister David Cameron chose PMQs to lambast Jeremy Corbyn for not having suits handmade by Savile Row tailors, despite having put his penis inside a dead pig.

As one Conservative source explained, “As has been said before, what did or did not happen with that dead pig is not something that should be discussed in public.

“But the fact that Jeremy Corbyn’s suits look incredibly cheap is something the nation needs to know about, and should be roundly mocked at every possible opportunity.

“Just ask yourself, what is more important; the leader of the opposition buying an ill-fitting suit off the peg, or the prime minister putting his penis in the mouth of a dead pig?

“You might say that neither issue is important, and you might be right, but we would assert that tailoring is an extremely important aspect of someone’s electability and the prime minister was right to bring this important issue to the attention of the public.”

Labour supporter Simon Williams said he was excited by the promise of PMQs becoming less about the issues, and more about personality and appearance.

He said, “If Cameron wants the opposition to smarten up, then I hope that next week the entire shadow cabinet is wearing tailored suits and pig masks.

“Though it might be a bit awkward when those on the government side all get erections.”