So… Remember what I said before about how nothing exciting was going on?

Well, that’s not true anymore. Like, at all. The past like, week and a half has been totally crazy. Mostly in a good way. Ish.

I probably should’ve tried writing about everything a little sooner, but (no offense or anything) sometimes writing in this thing starts to feel like a chore — Not super fun, but something I HAVE to do.

It’s like when I leave my clothes in the laundry basket and they start piling up. Mama always yells at me to put them away, and eventually I HAVE to. The basket gets way too full, and I’ve gotta empty it, even if it’s boring and takes forever.

That’s how this journal is too, except it’s my brain that gets full. My head feels like it’s bursting with all this crap, and the only way to empty it is to write it all down (wow, deep. I feel like Papa would be super proud of that one).

Anyway, I decided that I’m WAY overdue for a brain dump, so here I am.

It all started last Friday — Believe it or not (spoiler alert — you should believe it!) I had my first official date. Ever! Not like when me and Mason used to hang out at the park and stuff. Like, a date-date.

It was with this guy Dominick from my Chemistry class. He’s pretty nerdy, but super cute too. I really don’t know him too well, but we’ve been talking a little bit during class and stuff since school started. And I’m about 99% sure HE was trying to ask ME out, at first. But he basically botched his roll, so I decided to just do it myself.

And of course he said yes (duh).

I spent the next few days getting all hyped up about it with Zelda (and with Cleo and Athena a little too… but mostly Z), and trying to keep it a secret from Tristan, obviously. That little twerp never knows when to keep his mouth shut! The last thing I wanted was for him to go blabbing to Mama and Papa.

I knew they’d have to find out eventually though. I already learned my lesson this summer after what happened with Mason, so I decided to suck it up and tell them the truth about where I was going this time.

Um, yeah. Instant regret there.

They already made me start taking the pill after they found out what happened with Mason, but apparently that wasn’t good enough for them. After giving me the third degree about Dominick, they decided they hadn’t mortified me enough, and topped it off with handing me a pack of condoms “just in case”.

I was so desperate to escape that freaking nightmare of embarrassment and shame that I ended up leaving a whole hour early for the arcade.

Good thing Dominick decided to show up early too.

And, as far as first dates go, I think it was pretty great. We had a lot of fun!

I’m not sure whether he’d been lying about playing Galaxy Quest or if he was just trying to be nice, but either way, I totally kicked his ass every time. Ha!

Dominick’s really sweet though. He had me cracking up the whole time with all these lame, cheesy jokes. Plus, he’s already sixteen, so he got a beer at the bar and secretly shared it with me when the bartender wasn’t looking. Score!

AND he even offered to buy me dinner before he walked me home too. I mean yeah, all he could afford to get us was McDonalds, but it was still pretty cool to be treated like that by a guy — Like I’m special or something. It felt amazing. And it made those greasy french fries taste extra-good.

Oh! And the makeout session behind the McDonalds was a pretty epic dessert too…

He wasn’t as good a kisser as Mason, but it was still nice. I even let him put his hands down my sweater and kinda cop a feel, but we didn’t do anything else. Good thing I left those condoms at home… Totally pointless embarrassment, courtesy of my parents. Thanks, Mama and Papa.

So… yeah. That was my first date! Pretty sweet, right?

Problem is, there’s already been a second one a couple days ago. And we’re supposed to be going on a third this weekend.

Oh God, what am I doing?!

I mean, Dominick’s sweet and cute and really fun. I like hanging out with him. But… does he think that this means we’re like, a thing? I keep meaning to ask him, but I don’t wanna make things super awkward or anything, so I just don’t say anything about it.

Because everybody knows if you don’t talk about something, that makes it totally disappear and not be a problem anymore… Right? Right?! (Yeah, yeah… I know. My dad’s a shrink, remember?).

I guess trying out the whole ‘dating’ thing isn’t so bad. I’m having fun, and I know Dominick is too. But I just don’t know what to do if he starts like, trying to hold my hand at school, or calling me his girlfriend or something. I don’t think I want that. No, I KNOW I don’t want that. But how am I supposed to tell him that?

Look, all I know is that I don’t wanna be one of ‘those’ girls, or whatever. You know what I mean. Someone who leads guys on and breaks their hearts like it’s no big deal. That’s the type of shit Serenity would pull. But that’s not me.

I just wish I knew who I can talk to about this. Zelda’s been like, NO help at all. She just keeps telling me I should let Dominick be my boyfriend like it’s no big deal. But this is coming from someone who has like, fantasy online boyfriends she stalks on Instagram and YouTube, so…

My grandparents are super old and totally clueless about this kind of thing, so they’re out. And my parents are the LAST people I’d ever ask for relationship advice. I mean, DUH.

Which is exactly why I can’t talk to Onkel Tam or Onkel Jasper either. I KNOW they’d just end up telling Mama and Papa about it. No thanks.

I guess I’ll text Tante Lila and see what she thinks. I just wish she didn’t live so far away so I could go talk to her in person or something. But a text is better than nothing. Maybe I’ll even call her. She dated a bunch of guys back when I was little, before she met Tyler. She’s gotta know about this kind of thing. Maybe she can tell me what to do.

So… yeah. That’s basically what’s been going on. I went on a couple dates with a cute guy from school, had a ton of fun, and now it feels like he might kinda-sorta be turning into my boyfriend or something.

And if I was anyone else in the entire world, that would probably be the exact opposite of a problem.

Unfortunately I’m Emberlynn Rosebrook though. And, well, my life is freaking weird.