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The idea of being paralyzed is unappealing for any number of reasons, not the least of which is the potential to be saddled with a homicidal helper monkey as a result. I don't give a shit if no one read my article on helper monkeys, you need to be aware of what's going on in the world. But beyond all the obvious downsides to being paralyzed, one that must clearly be a horrible adjustment is how it affects your sex life. Depending on the nature of your paralysis, it could make sex extremely difficult or literally impossible.

Rafe Biggs was left paralyzed from the neck down after an accident that resulted in a broken neck. With no feeling at all below his waist, he was sure his sex life was over, something that has to be terribly frustrating to someone with a still functional mind and access to boobs. For a year after his accident, he suffered through trying to adapt to a new life devoid of release, until one day his girlfriend gave him a thumb job.

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Gonna thumb you so good, baby.

Why was Rafe's girlfriend sucking his thumb? Dude broke his neck, just go with it. Point is, he was able to experience an orgasm as a result of the stimulation and at the same time ensure that no one will ever try to shake his hand again.

The phenomenon, called transfer orgasm, is a result of neural plasticity and the brain's attempts to "rewire" itself to compensate for physical changes, and it has been recorded in paralyzed patients before. Rafe himself refers to his thumb as his surrogate penis, which is just so off-putting, but good for him nonetheless.