Image is everything. How we dress, how we style ourselves, how we allow others to perceive us for who we wish to be seen. I have always believed strongly that your externalisation of who you are inside is a key part of being human, and a major human right that no-one has the right to suspend. It took me a long time to come to that conclusion, to allow others the freedom of expression without inwardly judging them for it; that, and the realiasation at around 14 when I was bullied for not standing up for myself that the only way they would stop is if I actually believed in myself and externalised who I was.

Much ink has been spilled in the discourse of hijabs, trans people, queer identity, race theory, and fashion, topics that meld and twine just as much as they are disparate and obtuse to one another. The thread that binds them all together is an externalisation of the inner self, whether through choice like fashion, or not as in race. People instinctively judge others for their outward appearance, even if it is a second glance that sums up a stranger’s life for the rest your time with them. We have all been socially conditioned to do this, to pick out the differences in people, to perceive a thread amidst the tribe. This is why differences are so jarring, our psychology instinctively tells us that difference from the norm is a danger to our own tribal identity. In Britain a turban or hijab is as much a subconscious social threat as a bear headed woman in Pakistan or Saudi Arabia, it breaks down social barriers and rules, forcing the observer to critique both the taboo and their own inner identity. To be sure, this is usually only a fleeting thought for the majority of people, but even so, when you have a transgressive externalisation of identity people are naturally inclined to question it. Dissonance is dangerous when unleashed on societies that are not educated or willing to allow it, hence the many hate crimes against minorities and those outside the perceived tolerated visual safe space.

This is why I have always been uncomfortable with the notion that to be a woman has to be wrapped up in the feminine. Time after time I read, watch, and hear stories of cis and trans women couching their womanhood in the feminine, which is especially true of the trans narrative, as the present discourse is centred around the idea that a male comes into the female space primarily by taking on the feminine externalisation of womanhood. If being a woman is simply putting on the appropriate clothing, and then being read socially as such without causing the dissonance mentioned above, what does that say about being a woman? Hand on heart I identify as femme, I love fashion, make-up, perfume, the occasional high heel; yet the counter-point to this is that I am more at home in a pair of jeans, comfy walking shoes, t-shirts, and no make-up. Does this make me any less of a woman? Does it make any women any less female if they eschrew the trappings of socially acceptable norms?

Of the answer to this is no, it does not. A woman is a woman if that is the gender she acknowledges within herself. No matter the externalisation of that gender identity, no matter what front she chooses to wear she is a woman regardless. This is an issue that creeps into every trans woman’s discourse, the idea that you have to be socially feminine in order to be female. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being femme, more power to those who are, but to dismiss the panalopy of female gender expression to the feminine is to cage women in an identity that does not fit everyone. A girl can play on rope swings, wear jeans, rough house, and still be a girl, much as a boy can play with barbies, be the nurse in doctors and nurses, and prefer sewing to football. Just because the social norms say that a gender has to be a certain way does not mean that a gender expression is that way.

Ultimately gender expression is about as much finding your own inner voice, what you are comfortable with. If you choose to wear a hijab, or jeans, or a ballgown then that is your choice, and no-one has the right to take that from you. I personally may not think that said item of clothing may suit you, but then that is my own personal taste, nothing more. Female gender empowerment comes through accepting diversity of all gender expressions, not just the narrow lens that we choose to view it through. So here’s to all the rope swings and purple hair in the world, bruised and bloodied knees, prom dresses, and the confidence to be ourselves without fear of being judged. One can wish.