Note: Video possibly NSFW on account of gratuitous melon mashing (no, NOT like Gallagher). Although it is just a commercial so it can't be that bad.

This is a 5:00 commercial for a Chinese corset that cinches a woman's bloobies together with a comical WOOOOOP (but way more laser-y) sound effect. Literally, it's five-straight minutes of that. Which, depending on how you look at it, is either awesome, or you're a woman. Allegedly it can smash titties up two whole cup sizes. Impressive! At least until you can't breathe and pass out. Ooooor poke somebody's eye out with a nipple. WHICH I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF!

Hit the jump for five-straight minutes of boob-binding WTFery.

Youtube

via

Thursday timewaster: Boob clamps will give you gigantic cleavage [shanghaiist]

Thanks to An and Kristen, who don't wear corsets because they understand the importance of lettin' chest-puppies breathe.