“Wow, Landon… You looked AMAZING out there yesterday!” The girl batted her big brown eyes as she spoke. “All those college teams are TOTALLY gonna be fighting over you.” He dwarfed her by several inches, but he could still smell the alcohol on her breath, even from that distance.

Jesus, it’s not even 8:00 yet! These underclassmen kids have no idea how to pace themselves… Landon forced a smile as he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Already got a couple verbal offers.” He confessed, unable to hide the pride behind his words. “But I’m taking my time, weighing my options… You know how that goes.”

Her giggle was obnoxious — like nails on a chalkboard. “You’re SO funny, Landon. Any school would be lucky to have you… And any girl would be too…” She added, eyeing him significantly.

Landon failed to suppress a small sigh of annoyance. Just once, he’d love for somebody to talk to him because they really cared about what he had to say, not because they wanted something from him.

“Thanks for coming to the game last night. Glad you had fun.” He tried his best to return the smile to his face. “I’ll, uh, see you later.” He turned and walked away from her then, hoping she would not try to stop him. And thankfully, she didn’t.

Landon made a beeline for the back door, eager to get away from the crowd. Coming to this party had been a huge mistake. He just wasn’t feeling it. Not tonight.

Part of him wanted to blame it on being tired after the huge game the night before. After all, winning the state championship was no freaking joke, right? Months of literal blood, sweat, and tears had brought him to that moment — leading his team to the ultimate victory. It had been the perfect end to his high school football career. Tiring as hell, but worth it.

Except Landon knew that his disinterest in tonight’s victory celebration went beyond how exhausted he felt. It was hard not to feel awkward and out of place watching the other guys on the team celebrating with their girlfriends or making out with the desperate underclassmen fangirls who’d flocked so eagerly to the party.

This was probably the most exciting moment of his entire life up until now, and Landon had nobody to share it with.

For a fleeting moment, he thought longingly of Riley. Their time together had been so brief, and they’d kept their relationship so quiet, but that didn’t make what the two of them shared any less special. But they’d both agreed to go their separate ways after Riley graduated last Spring. It was over now. Landon had to move on.

And he was trying to, but it was proving to be a lot easier said than done.

Part of it was simply trying to figure out how. Riley had been the one who’d taken the initiative in their relationship. Landon still had no clue what the hell he was doing. It was kind of terrifying.

Plus, things got even more complicated, given that the person Landon wanted to move on with didn’t seem to like him back. Not like THAT, anyway. And even after years spent on and off pining after the same unrequited crush, it never seemed to get any easier. Especially not now.

Landon made his way across the near-empty backyard to a quiet spot under one of the trees, retrieving his phone from his pocket. Fuck it, I’m going for it. Landon told himself firmly. He was miserable sitting there at that lame party, and he’d be just as miserable sitting at home with his parents too.

There was really only one place he wanted to be. Or rather, one person he wanted to be with.

His hands were almost shaking as he pulled up the number of the one person besides Riley whom he’d thought of sharing his victory with.

He typed out his message, hit ‘send’, and waited nervously for a reply.

——————————————

Landon felt warm all over, like he’d just stepped into a bright beam of sunlight.

It was the way he always felt whenever Asher walked into the room.

“Hey, thanks for coming.” He smiled at the younger boy’s sweet freckled face as he approached. Both the school and city libraries weren’t open this late at night, but Asher had agreed to meet him at the coffee shop. “You sure you don’t mind?”

Asher shook his head. “Nah, good excuse to congratulate you in person! State Champions… that’s fucking awesome!”

“Right? I still can’t believe it!” Landon beamed proudly as Asher took a seat beside him. “Guess I can check the ‘football thing’ off my list for graduation now, huh?” He teased.

Asher laughed appreciatively. “Yeah, now we’ve just gotta tackle the ‘Math thing’ and you’ll be all set.” He paused for a moment, as though waiting for a reaction. A flicker of disappointment crossed his face when he didn’t get one. “Get it? ‘Tackle’? Like football? Okay, sorry, that was so fucking lame.”

Landon let out a hearty laugh that he knew was too late. He felt bad for missing the joke the first time. Asher wasn’t exactly the most smooth-talking person in the world, but that was part of what Landon loved so much about him. Awkward though he sometimes was, Asher was always honest and real and… well, Landon knew ‘adorkable’ wasn’t actually a word, but he was pretty sure Asher was the very definition of it.

“It was a good one!” Landon assured him, hoping to mask his faux pas. “My brain’s just fried from last night.”

“Wow, if your brain can’t even handle cheesy jokes, are you sure you’ll be able to do Math right now?” Asher’s voice was teasing. “Especially at eight o’clock on a Saturday night. I know your text said you wanted to get ahead before midterms, but…”

“Oh shit, I’m such an idiot.” Landon hoped his surprise and disappointment sounded sincere. “I forgot my book at home!”

To his relief, Asher simply laughed. “I was wondering why the table looked so empty… I should’ve brought mine.”

Thank God you didn’t. Landon wanted to say. He was shocked that the whole ‘I forgot my book’ act still managed to work.

“It’s okay. I just feel bad for making you drive all the way out here for nothing… Can I buy you a coffee to make it up to you?” Landon offered hopefully.

Asher practically gagged, but kept his smile. “I never understood how people can drink that shit. Tastes like burnt plastic!”

His face fell at Asher’s reply. “Oh…” Shit. Maybe a coffee shop wasn’t the best idea then…

“I mean, no offense to anybody who DOES like it!” As usual, Asher had begun frantically back-tracking. “Everybody likes different stuff. It’s fine. Just… not for me.”

Landon couldn’t help but smile at the awkward reply. “Okay, what about tea, then?” He tried.

The other boy nodded eagerly. “Yeah! Sounds good. I mean, if you don’t mind. You don’t have to pay for it though. I have money!”

“Nah, my treat.” Landon insisted, rising to his feet and beckoning for Asher to follow him to the counter to place their orders. “Least I can do to pay you back for totally saving my ass in Math.”

Asher let out a small laugh in reply, as though he’d heard a joke or something.

“What?” Landon asked curiously.

Asher shook his head, still smiling as he got to his feet. “Nothing…” He paused, clearing his throat. “And don’t call me a savior yet! Let’s make sure you survive that stupid midterm first…”

Despite his smile, Landon felt his heart sink at Asher’s words. With midterm exams on the horizon, he lived in constant fear of his Trigonometry test… and not for the same reason he once did.

What Landon hoped Asher never knew was that, well, he hadn’t exactly been failing Trigonometry at the beginning of the school year. His grades had been pretty bad though — low C’s and high D’s on most of the assignments. Barely scraping by. His parents had been giving him so much shit for it, so he figured he could use a little help… It just wasn’t quite as urgent as he’d made it out to be.

If he was being completely honest, asking Asher to be his tutor had just been a convenient excuse to finally spend some time with his crush after all those years of watching him from afar…

But, as it turned out, Asher was actually a pretty fantastic tutor after all. Landon had learned more in the past two months with him than he had in an entire year in Mr. Marshall’s class. His grades had been steadily climbing ever since — He even got a B- on one of their recent quizzes. And he was certain he’d do well on the upcoming midterm, which normally he’d be happy about…

But once he passed, what use would he have for a tutor anymore?

And if Asher wasn’t tutoring him… well, it would be back to trying to steal glances at him during lunch, or finding excuses to walk up and strike up a conversation with him.

Just like it had been for years.

Landon was fairly certain by this point that Asher was into guys too. He seemed to still have one foot in the closet, just like Landon did. But the signs were there… Including the way he always looked at his friend, Ollie. Landon couldn’t help a slight wave of jealousy at the thought. He used to dream of Asher looking at HIM like that someday. And there were times when he almost thought he did…

But Landon was starting to face the harsh reality that Asher would never feel about him the way that he felt about Asher.

For as long as he could remember, he was always the one who had to go out of his way to start a conversation. And even when they were alone together during their tutoring sessions, Asher never responded to any of the hints he’d tried to drop. Week after week, Landon would hope that Asher would finally make a move. But he never did.

He’d never be into someone like me, Landon had finally realized. I’ll never be smart enough for a guy like him.

He’d resigned himself to the fact that their tutoring sessions were all they’d ever have, and those couldn’t last forever. He had to enjoy the time they spent together while it lasted, before it was too late.

And if that meant he had to conveniently ‘forget’ his book a few more times, so be it.