Was it when Emily was sick that you told your parents about your relationship?

It was pretty similar to how it happens in the movie, except it was on the phone.

And did they temporarily disown you the way they seem to in the movie?

No. In real life my mom was immediately very concerned about Emily, asking, “Is she O.K.?” And then as soon as Emily woke up, she was, like, “Why did you do this to me? How could you?”

Was Emily on board from the beginning, to tell the story of your lives?

It took a little convincing. Emily’s a therapist, so in a way she’s very good at not revealing herself unless she wants to. And even though I had a big problem talking about myself, I’m weirdly less private. I remember we were sitting at Sundance, the first screening, 1,500 people, a real audience seeing the movie, and she was, like, “This is the last time this story will be ours.”

One of the things that was so refreshing about the movie is how you were one step ahead of the racist hecklers in the audience. How did you get to that point?