Finding Happiness at College: It’s Not Always Straightforward

Being happy in college and feeling at home on your campus are two of the unspoken goals that every person has when they first begin their university adventure. I say unspoken because it seems fairly obvious that students would want these things. But just because it’s implied that everyone wants them doesn’t mean that they are easy to get. If you have found yourself posing the question “how long did it take for you to like college?” to upperclassmen, you are not alone.

I like to think of it as a happiness equation. There are a lot of things that can fit into this formula like intentional activity, circumstances, and internal fulfillment, but I really want to focus on how environment and relationships play a big part in college happiness.

When people come to college I feel that there are two overarching themes that categorize how they find happiness: those who base it off geographical location, and those who base it on the people that surround them. For example, you undoubtedly had friends who left for college who instantly loved it. For them, environment plays heavily into their happiness equation. Just being somewhere that makes them happy helps them to build their relationships. For them, it may not matter that they were the only one from their high school to go to that college. They found happiness in the spaces around them first.

Then there are people like myself. People who could be anywhere in the world, but wouldn’t feel as happy without strong personal relationships. There’s a good chance that you know someone who went to the same college as all of their high school friends and is loving it. There’s nothing wrong with it, it just means they got to carry over their relationship network to college. I came to ISU with only one other person in my high school graduating class. We were in completely different programs, so in essence I was starting over with relationships. It wasn’t until I found my friend group that ISU really felt like home to me. If you had really strong connections with your friends in high school, going off to college without them can leave you feeling as if your campus is lacking. The thing is that building those close relationships at college takes time. If you’re not feeling at home yet, that’s okay.

The thought of happiness while at college is considered a given. It’s glamorized in the movies and media, and when your expectations don’t live up to instant happiness, you feel like there might be something wrong. If you think your happiness is more relationship based, expect it to take some time. I’ve mentioned it before, but the best way to build relationships is to focus on yourself initially. What is it that drives you? What do you love to do? Seek out those opportunities and you can bet there will be other people just as passionate as you are. Those people are the start of your relationship network and the key to feeling at home.

All of this being said, I do want to say that I understand that happiness is a complicated thing. I don’t want to oversimplify the fact that there are many ways that happiness can be defined. I have noticed after looking back at my start and trying to help my sister feel at home on her campus that people find happiness through different channels. It is up to you to ponder what makes you happy and how you find happiness on a daily basis. Is it the places you go, the people you meet, or the things you accomplish? Once you know what drives your happiness, you can figure out the best ways to achieve it. Maybe it’s a favorite spot outdoors or a building. It could be accomplishing a workout or talking with that one friend who just makes you feel like a star.

Happiness in college doesn’t always fall in your lap. You might have to work for it at first, but when you have it, you know you’ve found your home.