Dear People Searching For Love,

I’d like to give you some advice.

I deviated from an online news search, and I found myself on Quora. Staring at questions such as:

“How do I make them love me,” “How do I know I’m in love,” and my favourite, “How do I know I’m deeply in love.” You know. Instead of love-lite.

Yes, these questions are floating around the internet like paper on the wind. Or in this case, sparks on a flame.

People answered with: “They make you a better person/happier/supper/etc.” They explained the difference between love and infatuation. “Love is real, infatuation isn’t.” Thank you for that literal explanation.

Where did people turned for advice before the internet. Because they needed to know: “Does true love exist?” “Is this love or infatuation,” and “Do our signs match?”

My experience?

I’ve loved three times at different stages in my life. Love will differ from age fifteen, seventeen and twenty-two. And it will continue to change with time.

So, throw out the love Caramilk secret. Truth is, love can be complicated with a dash of drama, simple with a touch of crazy, or not complicate then complex in a flash. Love will include disagreements, otherwise it’s a game show romance.

How do you know you’re in love? You need the elements: mutual trust and respect. A feeling of home in the other’s arms. That comfort level upon meeting. It’s not about roses on Friday and anniversary jewellery. It’s about keeping the relationship strong without materialist gifts.

As for love verses infatuation? Infatuation means you miss the thought of them, but you can picture a future without them. Love mean you can picture a life without them, but it depresses the hell out of you. Unhealthy love is when they are your world, and when you can’t picture yourself lasting a day without them. That happens, and it isn’t healthy.

And the stars and the moon, and the planets in your eighth house? How will it affect your relationship? Can a Gemini and Sagittarius skip through the woods? Are two Leos bliss? Astrology isn’t for everyone. But, hey, Christmas gift idea! A t-shirt with your so-called compatible signs.

Lastly, there isn’t a secret sauce to make someone love you. If they have legit feelings for you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll also know. You shouldn’t have to beg for their attention and affection. The butterflies are either dead or alive. There is no in between.

Like I said, I wanted to give advice. But I’m just a romance author. So, take this with a grain of salt.

And hopefully you’ll find your pepper.