Around the world, families come together to celebrate the brightest light in the dark times. Here is a little quiet music to sit with and relax.

If you celebrate Christmas, soon we will remember the birth of a child come to change the world. Or we will celebrate with bringing nature into our homes, with fir trees, pine wreaths, lights, and candles.

If you celebrate Chanukah, you might be celebrating by lighting the menorah and honoring traditions centuries old.

Wherever you are, whether quietly snuggled in front of the fire or you’re sitting down to a feast, take a few moments to slow down. Give yourself the space to take care of your heart.

If you have lost someone, allow yourself to honor them in this moment. Honor them in a way that feels right for you; an empty chair at the dinner table, a special candle, an ornament, a favored song, or a favorite dish of the person you love.

If you are caregiving, it could be very likely that you might be asking, “Is this it? Will be the last Christmas? I can’t imagine how we’ll survive.” I know these were questions we asked ourselves and each other for the two years we took care of my dying brother. It’s normal and it’s okay.

Have compassion for yourself. There will be an achiness in your heart, possibly even a hole. And tears can fall; that’s okay too. The people around you may try to quelch your tears. Know that most likely it is because those around you just don’t want you to hurt. But if we are honest with ourselves, how could it not hurt?

I used to tell clients that our tears are a manifestion of the love that we have for the person who is dying or the person who has died. We don’t feel that kind of pain when we hear about some random person half way across the country or world dies. We have no connection with them. But that person we shed tears for, they are a part of us, no matter what the relationship is.

We will feel pain. But we can do something about the accompanying suffering.

Today, we have been cooking and doing a few last-minute things for the holiday. There have been tears for the family that isn’t physically here anymore; my brother, Aunt Ida, my paternal grandparents and the friends that were like family; Barbara, Harris, and Lois. And there have been jokes about Harris wanting hot dogs for the holiday or my brother being impressed with Beef Wellington on the menu.

The important thing is that we don’t try to act like they weren’t a part of our lives or that they aren’t still so important to us. We accept they are gone and yet the love still surrounds us on this cold winter night.

Touch your heart lightly and know that pain will change over time. You have inherent wisdom and peace will come.