And yet there is still a cost of pursuing something full-on: all of the other things that you leave behind as a result. When you are wholly immersed in anything, it’s all too easy to let the inertia of the experience carry you forward without ever really evaluating what you’re sacrificing along the way; for example, time with friends and family, other hobbies, even simple pleasures like catching up on the latest episodes of “Game of Thrones.”

There are also risks inherent to having your identity tied up in a single activity — mainly, what happens when doing that activity is no longer an option? It’s not surprising that athletes often struggle with depression and other mental health issues when they are forced to retire. It’s as if the more you put in, the harder it is to get out.

But even so, I don’t believe that balance — which essentially asks us to never go all-in on anything — is the right solution. I think far better than striving for balance is striving for what psychologists call internal self-awareness, or the ability to see yourself clearly by assessing, monitoring and proactively managing your core values, emotions, passions, behaviors and impact on others. Put differently, internal self-awareness is about creating the time and space to know yourself; constantly check in with yourself (since your “self” changes over time); and then live your life accordingly.

Someone with keen internal self-awareness is able to separate the acute euphoria of being fully immersed in a pursuit from the long-term consequences of doing so. It’s the Olympian who chooses to retire in time to start and raise a family; the artist who realizes that setting aside some time for life outside of the studio gives rise to great works inside the studio; or the lawyer who sets a hard rule of not missing family dinners or her children’s sporting events. This type of self-awareness doesn’t come easily. Paradoxically, one of the best ways to accomplish internal self-awareness is to mentally step outside of your “self.” Psychologists call this self-distancing, and examples include pretending you’re giving advice to a friend, journaling in the third person (and then examining the emotions that arise when you read what you wrote), or reflecting on your own mortality.

Practicing internal self-awareness allows you to honestly evaluate and re-evaluate the trade-offs inherent to living an unbalanced, flow-filled life. It ensures that you are making conscious decisions about how you spend your time and energy, and thus decreases the chances that you’ll have regrets about what you did — and didn’t — do. It helps you realize when your identity may be getting too interwoven with a specific activity and that in some instances — writing a book, the first few months with a newborn baby, or trying to make an Olympic team, for example — your lack of balance may be excessive, but it can be O.K. because it’s temporary.