Just imagine if every American’s private conversations were secretly taped over the course of their lives — without their knowledge or consent — and then they were released to the public in a political smear campaign just weeks before the election.

No one would be able to run for public office.

We’d simply have to shut down the government because the politically correct police would be handing out tickets to 330 million Americans.

That includes Hillary Clinton, who I’d imagine had some horrific things to say about her philandering husband, Bill Clinton, and his slew of mistresses, especially during the highly graphic impeachment hearings that dwelled on his sexual escapades with intern Monica Lewinsky. Who could forget the cigars and the infamous blue dress?

Upon learning of Lewinsky, Gennifer Flowers and the other women the former president had sex with, do you think Hillary, in her private conversations, discussed them delicately and respectfully with her cheating husband and her close friends?

If she’s a normal human being, she was probably very angry, used foul language and said things about her husband and the “other women” she wouldn’t want publicly released.

In fact, in Gary Byrne’s recent tell-all book, the Clintons’ former Secret Service agent said staff heard major fights between the former first couple. They also found a smashed vase after such rows and Bill emerging with a mysterious “black eye.”

Donald Trump is under fire now for having some locker-room type “guy talk” on a bus 11 years ago. Even though what he said was crude, it means little in the big scheme of things. After all, he didn’t break the law. Because if cheating on one’s spouse — or just discussing the possibility — were a crime, nearly half the country would be behind bars.

But now we have the Clinton camp — and the media who carry water for the Democrats — feigning outrage over Trump’s private comments, comments he made more than a decade ago.

Consider Hillary’s unspeakable hypocrisy in light of her own husband’s wandering ways, and the sexting shenanigans of her best friend Huma Abedin’s hubby, Anthony Weiner.

Not surprisingly, after the Trump hot mic recording was released, Hillary tweeted, “This is horrific. We cannot allow this man to become president.”

I’m sure that like Claude Rains in “Casablanca,” she was shocked, shocked to hear such saucy language coming from her Republican rival.

Donald Trump is not a Boy Scout. If that’s what Americans were looking for they could have elected Mitt Romney in 2012. But they didn’t, proving these latest attacks are nothing more than slimy political theater.

Adriana Cohen is co-host of “Herald Drive” airing 6-9 a.m. weekdays on Boston Herald Radio. Follow her on Twitter @AdrianaCohen16.