Not even Michael Bloomberg seems to know why he’s in the 2020 race for president, except to burn a whole lot of money on TV commercials. He’s a bit of a blessing to Republicans, though, as he offers a “moderate” (i.e., capitalist) alternative to Joe Biden and will hopefully suck votes away from more viable candidates with his non-stop advertising.

Don’t try to tell Bloomberg he should drop out, though, because he’s been an American longer than Pete Buttigieg, and he’s been an American even longer than Joe Biden — they’re both 77, but Bloomberg was born in February, and Biden was born in November, so Bloomberg has a slight edge when it comes to being an old white man.

.@MikeBloomberg bristled when I asked about fears he may split the moderate vote, hurting Biden or Buttigieg "Am I not as important to this country? I’ve been an American for longer than Mayor Pete has. I’ve been an American for longer than Joe Biden has" https://t.co/V0YNmsgvAu — Ted Nesi (@TedNesi) February 6, 2020

So what? — Patrick Hirigoyen (@Pat_Hirigoyen) February 6, 2020

This..seems like a bad answer.. — JessieB (@JessieB1021) February 6, 2020

“I’m old AF” is kind of a weird flex in a presidential campaign. — Bryan Knox (@bknoxmusic) February 6, 2020

So he is old? Or what is he trying to say? — AdmiralMuffin? (@muffin_admiral) February 6, 2020

What does that even mean? — U ? (@UWEair) February 6, 2020

Bloomberg: “I’m really old and you should elect me because of that” — Mississippi for Pete (@MSforPete1) February 6, 2020

I didn't know he was older than Joe. That isn't a selling point to anyone. — brian guinther (@guinth) February 6, 2020

Wow, he manages to become less likable with every quote. — Tim (@montefisto13) February 6, 2020

Is that his only qualification? — Liam O'Connell (@ConnellOLiam) February 6, 2020

The fact that anyone has been alive for longer than Biden isn’t a strong argument. — Space Force Squadron Leader Brian E. Ford (@brianericford) February 6, 2020

Whoa, he's older than Joe? That's not a feature. — Sam T. (@samuelt22223) February 6, 2020

He just bragged that he is the oldest white guy in the race other than Bernie. — PCR RitesGood (@pcrritesgood) February 6, 2020

According to the betting markets the leading candidates for the Dem nomination are Sanders, Bloomberg and Biden. Joe Biden is the youngest of them. — Helot (@Helot_) February 6, 2020

I think that he wants to speak to the manager. — ItIsGoodToBeQueenOnTheBayou (@redandright) February 6, 2020

He’s going to do great at the Nevada debate — Widow's Weeds (@widows_weeds) February 6, 2020

What’s crazy is that in the Democrat party @MikeBloomberg is considered a moderate — Jeremiah Johnson?? (@jeremi_isaac) February 6, 2020

Mayor Pete is NOT moderate.?‍♀️ — Lisa Thompson (@Bucs06) February 6, 2020

Biden, Buttigieg, and Bloomberg are "moderates"? In what world do you people live in? — Bob Yuler (@Ironic_Name) February 6, 2020

between Vice President Oatmeal Brain, CIA Pete, and Yet Another Billionaire, I can't decide just how much paint thinner I'd rather drink — 16 Handles fan accou? (@BasedKashiBar) February 6, 2020

The creepy way he holds his hands should be disqualifying — Alan B-bro Gans (@aganssle) February 6, 2020

The man hates the US Constitution, he's dumped millions into making VA blue, he funds Moms Need a Clue… What makes you think he gives a frack about the Democrat party? — Allan Giberti (@GibertiAllan) February 6, 2020

Funny take from a party that believes immigrants and illegals are more American than Americans. — HazMatt Helm (@NBurdens) February 6, 2020

That was even dumber than something Biden would say.

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