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All these cases suggest that a nemesis is a special kind of foe. It’s not someone you hate with every inch of your being. That’s more of an enemy. A nemesis also isn’t a bully. A rival might be a fairer description, but a rival is someone you’re pitted against in a naturally adversarial environment, such as a sports game. Nemeses, meanwhile, are worthy foes in any area of life. They require a particular kind of jealousy, because you compete with them, even if they’re unaware of your existence. They can drive you mad with their achievements. But they can also push you to work harder.

You’re only as good as your nemesis. — Lauren Mechling (@laurenmechling) March 21, 2019

In that latter respect, having a nemesis can be extremely valuable. “It rarely matters who is on your side; what matters is who is against you,” the writer Chuck Klosterman wrote in Esquire in 2007. “You don’t need a friend and you don’t need a lover. What you need is … one quality nemesis.” One 2014 study found that long-distance runners are about five seconds per kilometer faster when one of their top rivals is in the race. “Something about having an opponent gets us to dig deeper, into otherwise-untapped reserves,” the writer L. Jon Wertheim and the Tufts psychologist Sam Sommers declare in their book, This Is Your Brain on Sports.

The modern nemesis trend seems to be born partly from hater culture. On social media, everyone has an audience, so it’s easy for people to criticize you. They might root against you, or question your success, or troll in your mentions. Over the past few years, many people with large online followings have started encouraging fans to lean into these haters by using them as a form of motivation. As DJ Khaled would say, “they don’t want you to” succeed, so it’s up to you to prove “them” wrong. “Everybody have a Great Day,” Ice T recently tweeted. “Make your haters Sick.”

Declaring a nemesis can be a way to escape becoming a hater yourself. While hating is about putting others down, a nemesis is about pushing yourself to be better than that person. You still might relish in her failings, but ultimately you value your nemesis. You’d still show up to her funeral.

the real nemesis is the friends i made along the way. — Gene Park (@GenePark) March 22, 2019

Two weeks ago, I selected a male journalist notorious for his relentless work ethic to be my nemesis. People kept mentioning his writing to me, and I suddenly felt the overwhelming desire to outdo him. Even a member of my own family—who will remain nameless to save this person some embarrassment—wondered whether I’d ever achieve as much as he has. Ever since, I’ve noticed myself working harder and putting in longer hours. Seeing my nemesis up at 7 a.m. on Twitter has made me more attentive in the morning. I’ve agreed to squeeze in more media appearances to talk about my work. Even though I might never reach his level of success, mentally competing against him has helped push me to do better.