It would be just like any hotel room, if not for the surreal twists. The balcony doesn’t overlook the street, for instance. It juts out above an ice rink swarming with muscle-bound multimillionaires.

Some of the ground rules are pretty standard: No pets allowed — unless you’re raising a velociraptor. Lint rollers are compliments of the house. But make sure you can sing Stompin’ Tom’s “Good Ol’ Hockey Game” without garbling the lyrics.

You’re sleeping over at the Air Canada Centre, after all. That is, you will be if you can pen the best paean to the Maple Leafs and Raptors and send it in by Dec. 15.

Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment is inviting mega-fans of its hockey and basketball franchises to enter a contest to spend one night in a cabin-like hotel room that will be temporarily installed in one of the ACC’s executive box suites.

The owner of the Maple Leafs and Raptors is advertising the room on AirBnB, with Leafs alumni and former captain Doug Gilmour listed as the host, along with a slate of tongue-in-cheek house rules that includes “no skates on the hardwood” and a pledge not to mention Gilmour’s time with the dreaded Montreal Canadiens.

“We’ve never had anyone stay over in a suite,” said Jeff Deline, MLSE’s vice-president for global partnerships.

“Access is always an issue for us, so we’re looking at new and different ways to be able to get our fans more access to the building, the dressing rooms, the teams, and I guess the overall experience.”

The publicity stunt is scheduled for the night of Jan. 23 and 24. A select superfan, along with a guest of their choosing, will arrive on the 23rd to meet Gilmour and the current crop of Leafs at the ACC, before taking in a game against the Canadiens. They will then sleep in the hotel room, designed by a creative professional that MLSE hired to give the suite a “Canadian, earthy, homey” atmosphere, Deline said. The fans will wake up the next day and watch the Raptors play the Los Angeles Clippers.

MLSE will choose the winner based on their application “essay” — a written submission that can’t exceed 550 characters. That’s less than four tweets. Succinctness will be paramount.

“We’re looking for people to express their interest and willingness and fandom for the team. With the best entry there we’ll pick a winner to enjoy and spend the weekend.”

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