Autogynephiliasupport asked me:

Hey there. Was wondering what your opinion on autogynephilia is? I’m trying to talk to others and get a better feel for how to maybe help others.



Here is my response:

Ray “Whispers” Blanchard

Autogynephilia is a term coined by psychologist Ray Blanchard, the man who was immortalized as the villain Whispers in the Washowski sisters’ TV series Sense8. Yes, he is that bad.

Sense8 villain Whispers to the left, real life transphobe Blanchard to the right. Top illustration by Lolo Camille.

What Blanchard basically has been saying is that trans women who are attracted to women are sexually perverted men who have the hots for their own female self.

These days Blanchard and his friend J. Michael Bailey are actively helping transphobic radical feminists or TERFs coming up with even more toxic terms and theories, none of which are supported with any serious scientific evidence.

So as far as the autogynephilia theory goes, it is all 19th century homophobic and transphobic stereotypes masquerading as science. It has been thoroughly debunked by both researchers and trans people (who actually know something about this).

Erotic crossdreaming is real

But that does not mean that the phenomenon Blanchard has been referring to – namely that some male assigned persons may get aroused by the idea of imagining themselves as women – is not real.

Indeed, there are also female to male trans and nonbinary people who have sexual fantasies of becoming a man or behaving like a man. Blanchard insists that they do not exist, but I have learned to know quite a few of them.

Source: N-B-R-artwork

Moreover, you will find such fantasies among people who think of themselves as cis, trans and non-binary.

As far as pre- or non-transitioning transgender people go, having such fantasies makes perfect sense. Trans people, like cis people, are sexual beings with a vivid imagination, and what could make more sense for a trans woman than to imagine herself having sex as a woman?

If she presents as a man, it makes sense that imagining the possibility of having a sex life in harmony with her own true self becomes arousing. I mean, how could it not?

And why shouldn’t transgender men dream of having a body that would make it possible for them to fully express their identity as sexual beings?

”Mommy’s little girl”, illustration by sabishiidesu13



The reason the autogynephilia theory has gotten any traction at all is because it confirms two fundamental sexist and misogynistic prejudices: (1) That women have a very low libido and have nothing but vanilla sex fantasies (so that the sexuality of these trans women must therefore be male) and that (2) women are inferior to men, so that any “man” who dreams of being a woman must be insane.

As soon as you accept trans women as women, and you allow for a gender identity spectrum instead of a strict binary, cross-gender arousal or erotic crossdreaming appears to be just a natural expression of a natural sexuality.

Source: JP, Insta

Internalized transphobia

Unfortunately the transphobic attacks against trans women’s (and lately also trans men’s) sexuality has caused some trans people to stay quiet about such fantasies. I can understand the sentiment, but this tactic may easily backfire, as it might strengthen the internalized transphobia many trans people feel.

My policy has therefore always been to be very open about it. Erotic crossdreaming is a natural part of many trans people’s journey towards self expression and self acceptance. This is nothing to feel ashamed about.

I have written more about erotic crossdreaming and the autogynephilia theory over at my Crossdreamers blog, which also has an extensive list of articles and other resources on the autogynephilia theory.

I also recommend Contrapoint’s excellent video on the topic, which also – by the way – refers to my Crossdreamer blog. Trans philosopher and activist Julia Serano has also written about such fantasies.

I really appreciate the fact that you would like to help others who feel shame and guilt for having such fantasies. One way of helping would be to take part in the discussions over at the Crossdream Life forum, a safe place for trans, queer and nonbinary people of all shades.

See also:

The problem with “autogynephilia”

The autogynephilia theory explained



