Stephen Colbert, age 9, died in his home this week under a pile of burning money. A successful author, pundit, and 2-time presidential candidate, Mr. Colbert appeared to die without a struggle.

In lieu of flowers, CBS requests that people remember when late-night shows were relevant.

Born October 17th, 2005, Colbert rose to prominence through The Colbert Report, a late-night program that deftly mixed the news and how people should feel about that news in a concise 22 minute format. Segments such as “The Word,” and “Better Know a District,” often asked the questions no one else could. His perspective was inimitable, granting him an insight and clarity that would define the political lives of a million Bush-era youths. For those whose exposure to the American Presidency started with a capital “W,” Colbert was the Red, White, and Blue night-light that reminded us of a thousand Americans dying for a lie. But no more.

An outspoken advocate for his beliefs, Colbert taught us to think from the gut at a time when the facts were too much to bear. Like so many greats before him, Colbert was constantly ahead of his time — defending America’s borders, crafting Super PACS, and inventing words on a whim. Colbert used his considerable fame and fortune to make good on the wishes of real Americans. He was more than a pundit — he was the gleeful middle finger Americans everywhere wished they could have.

Mr. Colbert’s reach extended far beyond the show, as his presence in Washington, Iraq, and many “better-known” districts allowed him to fight to good fight of America excellence wherever it needed to be fought. Colbert’s patriotism, dedication, and voice symbolized everything that makes America great — using art and influence not only for personal gain, but to cram his philosophy down the throats of anyone he interviewed. Dogmatic, idealistic, and extremely partisan, Colbert was not an everyman. And yet his frustrations were ours. He revealed more about ourselves than we often wanted to hear. He is a hero.

Stephen, old before his time, aged in the most American of ways. His show, long known for it’s relevance, devoted whole segments to The Hobbit, while those damn teenagers begged that #blacklivesmatter outside his window. More and more reclusive, Colbert’s trademark voice and presence slipped away from the cause most threatening his docile, white, American life (Coming to CBS this summer!). Though flashes of his brilliance still dazzled on occasion, one needs no further proof of his diminishing cultural weight than the second of his presidential interviews.

Since signing his relevance will over to the Columbia Broadcasting System, Colbert spent his twilight years making idle chatter with pop stars and peddling pistachios (the most degrading nut) while beginning a quiet life in the shadow of John Oliver.

Nevertheless, in his last weeks he made a return to his former glory, blessing his loyal nation with a bittersweet visit from the character that could do what no other could, who could bring a country to bear against it’s own wrong-doing, at least in the liberal media.

Steven Colbert will be missed. A presence unequaled in modern media, Colbert was not just a reminder of political issues, but a testament to the power of art to create real change. Colbert was the most American of us all, and he just burnt himself in a pile of US dollars.

The mantle will be passed, but it is hard to imagine who, if not him, could ever bring about real change in our country.

While there is hope that Stephen’s father, Mr. ColberT, will continue his progeny’s legacy, he is crippled by a system that is old, stale, and likely unable to survive 20 more years. This in addition to Social Security.

You will be missed Stephen Colbert. You were the voice of a generation too up it’s own ass to face the issues head on. You taught me that comedy can change the world — literally change the world, as long as you don’t sell out first. You gave me hope that art could make a difference, then showed that only money matters. You were not supposed to have your own agenda, you were supposed to champion mine.

Because let’s be honest — I don’t care about the news if you’re not around.

Table Turners Episode 3: The Death of Stephen Colbert

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