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In light of the new ICD-10 roll out, the League of Pediatricians has come forth with a mission statement set to dispel the requirement that ridiculous presentations to the emergency department leave with real diagnoses. In a recent press release, commander of the League of Pediatricians, Chuck Kirchner, came forward with this seemingly benign request.



“I would honestly just like some transparency in our field,” said Kirchner. “None of us really have any idea about these funky rashes, kids with emesis, or funny purple spots on little Tommy’s big toe. I don’t care if it’s itchy. I’m itchy. Get over it. Lets just call it for what it is: probably a virus that is probably going to get better.”

The ramifications of the request have been much larger than Kirchner likely expected. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics has issued a counter statement reassuring American parents that while it is probably just a virus, they should continue to support their local pediatrician’s spouse’s shopping habit and take their kids in, just to be sure that it is probably a virus that will probably get better.

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