It really can't be that simple, can it?

While other candidates will try to woo you with fancy language and promises they have no intention of keeping, you can trust that if I get elected I will do everything in my power to just steal as much shit as I can get my grubby paws on. Money equals happiness, and as a representitave for the Make A Wish foundation once said "you didn't just steal that seven year old's set of plane tickets, you stole his last chance at joy". Disneyland rocks by the way, and you can tell the Mickey Mouse actor his costume's head is on Craigslist.