INGRID DOULTON | Being Divorced | Contact

A Betoota Grove quinquagenarian who’s recently found herself single again has heralded her return to the local dating scene with the purchase of a pair of white jeans from her local Rockman’s shop.

After twenty-two-years of marriage and two children, Jennifer Stocktrot woke up one morning and decided she’d had enough of her husband, Pete.

He’s a man built on a myriad of faults and character flaws, she says, that she’s largely ignored and put up with for years.

But now she’s free.

Free, she says, to pull on a pair of white jeans of an evening time and head down to one of the local waterholes in search of something or someone to hold.

“I like the Lake Betoota Yacht Club. It’s a real meat market down there. Especially after dark,” she said.

Jennifer spoke briefly to our reporter last night around 8pm down at the Lake Betoota Yacht Club – just as the Monday Night Trivia was coming to a close.

“When I first became single again after all those years, I never had much luck down here at the Club until one of my girlfriends told me to buy a pair of white jeans,”

“Ever since I picked these up the other day, I’ve been keeping all the men at bay with a length of bamboo! They’re like catnip for middle aged men! It’s crazy!”

“I honestly had to whip one drunk old sailor about the head with the bamboo after he followed me back to my car! I kept whipping and whipping until his white shirt turned red! Creep! Then I reversed over his legs.”

“I’ve never had such excited in my life!”

More to come.

