compiled by Rivers McCown

WOULD YOU SAY IT PEESES YOU OFF?

"It makes me sick, is the best way I can put it. I mean, it really does. And it’s up to me, and it’s up to our staff, to get this thing corrected. I mean, I’m as happy as I can be to be 5-1. But I also feel fortunate to be 5-1, the way we’re playing on defense. Let’s be honest: We’re not playing well enough. To say it any other way would sound like a political debate. There’s an answer or there’s no answer. We’ve got to have an answer. We’ve got to do it. Cut the crap and let’s get this thing done." -- Ravens defensive coordinator Dean Pees, on his unit's performance this year (Pro Football Talk)

SO IT WAS LIKE BEING RECRUITED ALL OVER AGAIN

"They called from blocked numbers repeatedly, asking me why I was dodging them. They came to my home and that of my elderly mother on multiple occasions." -- Tyrann Mathieu's adopted father, Tyrone Mathieu, on Sports Illustrated's attempts to get access to his family for a story (Dr. Saturday)

GENE, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY ... YOU DO HERE?

"We've got to become a more talented team. It does start with talent. We can be a more talented team. You're always looking to add." -- Jaguars general manager Gene Smith, on his roster (AP)

SORRY, IT'S JUST THAT PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN WYOMING AREN'T USED TO DEALING WITH OTHER PEOPLE

"That's a pretty good trick. I really question ethics when people do that stuff." -- Wyoming head coach Dave Christensen, after he believed Air Force faked an injury to get a timeout (Colorado Springs Gazette)

"It’s not a conversation that I have with my mom. Not that kind of dialogue." -- Air Force coach Troy Calhoun, on Christensen declining to shake his hand and instead yelling across the sideline at him. Christensen would later issue an apology (Colorado Springs Gazette)

LOOKS LIKE YOU DID, JUAN

"I put Juan in this situation and things didn’t worked out as I’d hoped. I take full responsibility for putting him in that situation." -- Eagles head coach Andy Reid, on firing Juan Castillo, his defensive coordinator (Pro Football Talk)

"I love Coach. I said it before, I'd take a bullet for Coach. " -- Castillo, on his firing (CSN Philadelphia)

CHARLIE WEIS IS GOING TO START KICKING AIR LIKE THIS, AND IF ANY PART OF YOU SHOULD FILL THAT AIR, IT'S YOUR FAULT

"I just simply advised him that if he did ask questions, he should be prepared for any kind of tone in his answer." -- Kansas director of football communications Katy Longeran, to a student reporter who wrote unflattering things about Charlie Weis (Daily Kansan)

EVER SINCE WE GOT HIM TO STOP WEARING MATTHEW LESKO'S SUITS, THINGS HAVE BEEN LOOKING UP

"He's definitely dressing better. His sartorial splendor is something to watch when he gets on the plane now. I've seen it really evolve here in the last five weeks." -- Browns offensive coordinator Brad Childress, on rookie receiver Josh Gordon (Cleveland Plain-Dealer)

THE KIDS CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF FELIX BAUMGARTNER

"Do you know what I hate? I hate Twitter. I think these guys are young guys, and I think 'Tweet this, Spacebook that.' Whatever. We've got to go play the game. We don't have any hatred for Iowa." -- Penn State head coach Bill O'Brien, on a Tweet one of his players made about hating Iowa (GoPSUSports.com)

DID YOU WANT THE LONG VERSION OR THE SHORT VERSION?

"I didn’t hear some of it until after the game, to be honest with you. In this county, I think freedom of speech is a very important part of our culture. That being said, anybody can have an opinion about anything regardless of how stupid it might be, or uninformed. There are often stories out there that have very little truth to them; that are based on feelings or images that you want to conjure up or situations that you think you understand when you really don’t. I think more than anything this week, one reminder that Mike and I talked about was just controlling the things that you can control. We’ve had a lot of adversity around here in my fifth year starting. And I think that’s one thing that sometimes is easy to forget but it’s a good reminder, that there’s always going to be distractions and opinions and things going on that are outside of your control. In this case there was. It’s easy to criticize. Maybe some of these people have been waiting to criticize us after the success we’ve had, whether they have personal vendettas against myself, or Mike or our team. A team failing that is supposed to win is a lot easier of a story to write than a team that’s supposed to win that is meeting expectations. Teams that aren’t meeting expectations and teams that aren’t playing as well as pundits have picked them to be, it’s easier to jump on them. It’s the easy road for those people and they decide to jump on it." -- Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, on harsh criticism from Shannon Sharpe (Sports Radio Interviews)

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh." -- Rodgers, on what he said to his critics following a six-touchdown game in Houston (YouTube)

AND OFFENSES

"That was Death Valley. That was the place where opponents' dreams go to die. It was spectacular." -- LSU head coach Les Miles, following their defeat of South Carolina (Twitter)

I GUESS JOE WASN'T REALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO FOOTBALL IN 2000

"If you tell Ray you hear he's not playing any more, he'd freaking kill you." -- Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco, on Ray Lewis (This was said before Lewis tore his triceps on Sunday) (Twitter)

EVERYONE KNOWS 21ST CENTURY COLLEGES WERE BASICALLY EXPENSIVE DAYCARE CENTERS

"Unbelievable. This is what I get paid to do. Seriously. Create nap time. It's pathetic." -- Northwestern head coach Pat Fitzgerald, on his team lobbying for a nap before the game starts (Chicago Tribune)

DON'T WORRY JOE, THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT ADDERALL

"There was so much going on outside, I was legit scared. I didn't want to get too close to people with earpieces [Secret Service] looking at me. I didn't want to get too close to the presidential candidates. This is over my head." -- Browns cornerback Joe Haden, on a training camp visit by the Republican presidential campaign (Cleveland Plain Dealer)

TELL ME AGAIN ABOUT THESE "STUDENT-ATHLETES"

"Gotta get up there and catch that ... that's what you're paid to do ... get up there and catch that ball, we need you going!" -- ESPN announcer and former coach Dan Hawkins, on a dropped ball (Awful Announcing)

RENE, IRENE SO FAR AWAAAAAY

"I usually don’t say anything bad about opponents, but this was by FAR the cockiest and selfish team I have ever seen on film and in person. I have played a lot of football too, so I think that says something. From Eugene Smith not shaking hands at the coin toss and waving us off to Tavon Austin doing his strut every single catch he made, they were all about Me, Myself, and I..." -- Texas Tech defensive back Cody Davis, on the rudeness of West Virginia (College Football Talk)

BAD SAFETY PLAY USUALLY ACCOMPLISHES THIS FOR US

"We don’t have any defenses designed to give up 50-yard touchdowns." -- Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, on criticism for his defense (Providence Journal)

MAYBE SOMEONE WILL TOSS A BEER BOTTLE AGAINST IT FOR POETIC JUSTICE

"We got some bandwagon fans. Hopefully my apt. isn't egged." -- Tennessee quarterback Tyler Bray, on Twitter after the Volunteers dropped a 41-31 decision to Mississippi State (Chattanooga Times Free Press)

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