[Author's Note: I do not own Steven Universe for reasons that will become abundantly clear.]

"Steven! Steven, wake up!"

Steven was jostled awake by Peridot, who was perched on his bed.

"Peridot?" he asked groggily. "What's wrong?"

"Steven! Percy and Pierre…they're both male, aren't they?"

"Huh? Well, yes…"

Peridot released Steven's shoulders and clutched her head in anxiety. "I can't believe it!" she cried. "I never took that into account! Of course, how could I have even realized it? I mean, Gems are asexual and monogender, but the more advanced lifeforms of Earth have a binary in those regards! I thought I had identified the perfect pairings of everyone at Camp Pining Hearts, but when one considers those additional factors, it all comes to naught!"

"Why does it matter that they're both boys?"

"Why does it matter?" Peridot exclaimed. "Because two males are incapable of producing offspring! It's like some sick joke that the universe played! Pierre and Percy are perfectly compatible with each other in nearly every regard, but if they are unable to procreate, if they cannot combine their genetic material and pass it along to their progeny as to propagate the species, then what's the point?"

Steven blinked. "Oh," he said. "Look, not all relationships have to—"

"Wait!" Peridot said excitedly. "I've just thought of a solution! An artificial womb!"

"…womb?"

"A minor surgical procedure, combined with some manipulation of the XY chromosomes, and two males could conceivably breed with each other! Sure, the biological expertise involved is doubtless far beyond anything the Earth has currently, but since Camp Pining Hearts is fictitious, I can introduce fictitious technologies as well! I must construct a scenario for this! Thanks, Steven!"

"Er, happy to help," Steven said bewilderedly as Peridot leapt off his bed and raced to find writing implements. Steven closed his eyes and attempted to fall asleep again, but was soon interrupted once more.

"Who do you think would be the better choice to bear the child?" Peridot asked. "Percy or Pierre?"

Steven sighed.