Brandie and Debra Kay show tattoo art by Ronnie Lee Gardner stenciled on handkerchief DEBRA KAY BISCHOFF - It says “Gardner” and 1-4-8-7-3. That was his inmate number. And then it has 4 bullet holes in the heard and says, “live by the gun, die by the gun.” And then he signed and dated it. BRENT (off-cam) - When did he make these? DEBRA KAY - ...just before his execution. Title: “Life After an Execution” Scene on porch BRANDIE LEIGH - I have so many questions for you and my dad sometimes. I just don’t understand what you were thinking. DEBRA KAY - Well, Brandie, we were young. BRANDIE - I mean, if you knew that he and his family were that dysfunctional, what were you thinking about getting pregnant? DEBRA KAY - I loved him. // Did I know he was going to kill people? No, I didn’t.... DEBRA BRISCHOFF AND HER DAUGHTER BRANDIE GARDNER HAD NO PART IN RONNIE LEE GARDNER’S MURDERS. BUT THEY HAVE SUFFERED FOR HIS CRIMES NEVERTHELESS. THEIR PUNISHMENT: YEARS OF PAIN AND CONFUSION FOR LOVING HIM. BRANDIE - Deep emotional connection... DEBRA KAY - I don’t know, there was just something about him. // Our souls kind of connected at some point in our relationship. And that never changed, even up until the time he died. ON JUNE 18, 2010, THE STATE OF UTAH EXECUTED RONNIE LEE GARDNER BY FIRING SQUAD (A METHOD HE CHOSE). HE HAD BEEN ON DEATH ROW SINCE 1985 FOR KILLING AN ATTORNEY AND SHOOTING A BAILIFF DURING A BOTCHED ESCAPE ATTEMPT. GARDNER WAS IN COURT AT THE TIME ON A PRIOR MURDER CHARGE. Brandie and Debra talking about when he started killing... NOW, A YEAR AND A HALF AFTER HIS EXECUTION, FORMER GIRLFRIEND AND DAUGHTER HAVE DECIDED TO TALK ABOUT THEIR SIDE OF THE RONNIE LEE GARDNER STORY. ABOUT THEIR STRUGGLE TO UNDERSTAND HIS ACTIONS AND ATONE FOR THE DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSE THAT HAS MARRED THEIR LIVES. BRANDIE AND DEBRA - how screwed up he was as a child... FOR DEBRA, THERE IS THE GUILT OF HAVING PROVOKED HIS RAGE WHEN SHE LEFT HIM AND MOVED WITH THEIR TWO KIDS TO IDAHO. DEBRA KAY - I don’t know if anybody could have settled him down. He was so violent and so angry and hurt inside. // He wanted to try to control me and the kids because we were the closest thing to family for Ronnie. So, it was hard on him when I left with the kids. // After I left, he just got all crazy (sobs). GROWING UP, BRANDIE AND HER BROTHER DANIEL VISITED THEIR FATHER IN PRISON AND EXCHANGED LETTERS AND PHONE CALLS FROM DEATH ROW. BUT HIS CRIMES AND ABSENCE LEFT BRANDIE BITTER AND VIOLENT AT TIMES, HERSELF. SHE WAS RECENTLY CHARGED WITH DOMESTIC BATTERY AFTER FIGHTING A MAN WHILE DRUNK. BRANDIE - I’ve been a mess my whole life. I try to figure out who this guy is, who my dad is; where he came from; why he chose to do what he did. BRANDIE’S BROTHER DANIEL HAS ALSO DONE PRISON TIME FOR STABBING SOMEONE. OVER THE YEARS WHILE IN DEATH ROW, BRANDIE BEGAN HOPING HIS SENTENCE WOULD GET COMMUTED TO LIFE IN PRISON. ON THE NIGHT OF HIS EXECUTION, GARDNER’S FAMILY AND FRIENDS HELD VIGIL OUTSIDE THE PRISON. DEBRA KAY - BRANDIE, NOW A DIVORCED MOTHER OF TWO, STRUGGLES WITH THE IDEA THAT SHE’S PASSING ON THE SAME DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSE THAT HAS MARRED THEIR LIVES.