Alright, Brew Crew, it’s time to take a look at Orzhov and NAME REDACTED FOR THE PROTECTION OF THE AUTHOR.

Disclaimer: Look, I’m just not going to review every card. I’m just not. I’ll leave that herculean task to the likes of Conley Woods, Chris Lansdell, and LSV, those that have been driven to insane levels of punnery just to make it through another set review without jumping off a high building at the thought of discovering relevance in another vanilla 5 drop. If you REALLY need me to affirm that [card]Armored Wolf Rider[/card] is either 1.) the most broken card since Jace started sculpting minds or 2.) not worth its weight in toilet paper (hint: most cards fall somewhere in this spectrum), then consider yourself affirmed. These are the cards that jumped up and violently assaulted my inner-brewer.

Orzhov

[card]Pontif of Blight[/card]: I could maybe-sorta-kinda see this guy sitting at the top of the chain of a- ok, not really. I like this card, and it will be a limited beating, but I just don’t see it being worth a damn in constructed.

[card]Blood Baron of Vizkopa[/card]: Like many of us that are religiously inclined, the Baron is a classic self-loather. He dodges the two of the three most important spot removal spells in standard (he’s right in [card]Mizzium Mortars[/card] wheelhouse). His protection may be good enough to warrant his inclusion in some metas, but it’s not guaranteed to always be awesome. While it may not be difficult to gain 30 life in standard right now (at least, while we have [card]Thragtusk[/card] and [card]Rhox Faithmender[/card]), I wouldn’t get the goo-goo eyes over his +6/+6. Also, he’s never really going to be what you want him to be, [card]Serra Ascendant[/card] / [card]Divinity of Pride[/card] 2.0, in Commander.

[card]Obzedat’s Aid[/card]: One of my favorite cards in the set, and the only card that has been able to give [card]Beck // Call[/card] a run for its money in the “get your brewer juices flowing” department. The moment this was spoiled I bought a playset of [card]Omniscience[/card]. This is one of those cards that has a unique enough ability that you will have to consider it every time we get a new set (I do this with [card]Necrotic Ooze[/card] too) to make sure something hasn’t been broken. More on this below!

[card]Profit // Loss[/card]: I can remember the days of yore when we got to play with such stone-cold killer cards like [card]Zealous Persecution[/card]. You know, Power 9 level cards that could never be reprinted today without wrecking the metagame. Thank the Kraken that we don’t live in an age where you can go about giving our creatures +1/+1 and their creatures -1/-1 all willy-nilly for a measly two mana anymore.

[card]Sin Collector[/card]: Would it REALLY have been so bad to just make this a straight up [card]Duress[/card]+Dude? Dude-ress. As is, he’s still good enough to see play, especially if you’re packing blink effects.

[card]Teysa, Envoy of Ghosts[/card]: The Orzhov Champion. I was so excited about getting a beefed up Teysa card, and got a great big plate of, “Meh.” Sure, she’s a saucy wench with a heart of gold that’ll win every fight she gets into. But, there will be many a game where you’ll spend 7 mana only to have her die in a turn or two. Sure, “It dies to removal,” isn’t a compelling argument, but having your 7 drop die to removal without having impacted the game or board state at all is like asking Lansdell for a decklist. It’s just not something a winner will ever do.

Overall, Orzhov felt very balanced. There’s a good collection of cards in there giving brewers a variety of ways to take their existing Orzhov decks, while also creating avenues for entirely new archetypes.

THAT OTHER GUILD THAT NO ONE TALKS ABOUT

[card]Hidden Strings[/card]: Double the [card]Twiddle[/card], double the fun. I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve run a Twiddle combo deck at least once in my life, and this does offer some intriguing possibilities. I mean, Standard does still have [card]Verdant Haven[/card] and [card]Guilded Lotus[/card]…

[card]Breaking // Entering[/card]: With each set we move closer to a viable mill deck in Modern (or so I keep telling myself). Breaking and [card]Glimpse the Unthinkable[/card] backed by [card]Archive Trap[/card] is very, very intriguing. Entering ain’t too shabby either, as you should never underestimate a reanimation spell that grants haste.

[card]Far // Away[/card]: It’s not just another crappy movie starring America’s favorite Scientologist anymore! This is the best split card that doesn’t make four 1/1 fliers. By mid-June, I fully expect this card will have me thoroughly disgusted and drunkenly banging on Rosewater’s door at 3am. This is the kind of card that makes even me want to play a deck full of Islands and [card]Snapcaster Mage[/card] and that makes me feel dirty. The versatility this card provides is just what a deck like Delver needs to start climbing back up Mount Metagame.

[card]Mirko Vosk, Mind Drinker[/card]: We’ve had a Mind Sculptor, Raker, Censor, Sweeper, Crusher, Ripper, and now we get the Drinker. Still to come, the Mind Fluffer, Scrambler, Bamboozler, Hornswoggler, Finagler, and Minder. The Dimir Champion should be able to kill an opponent in 4-5 attacks. I’m not exactly excited about this guy but all you Mill fanatics can feel free to turn me on.

[card]Notion Thief[/card]: Should have been called the Wallet Thief, because the preorder prices people were willing to pay for this sideboard all-star were ludicrous. Look, I get that he beats [card]Sphinx’s Revelation[/card] like a naughty ginger, but he is a straight-up liability in just about every other matchup. Running this guy maindeck is the equivalent of a redneck saying, “Hold my beer.” Only bad things can happen. I do hold out hope that there is a combo-esque deck with [card]Reforge the Soul[/card].

[card]Reap Intellect[/card]: There are some scenarios where this card will decimate your enemy’s hand/deck and outright crush his will to live. Then again, there are scenarios where it might be appropriate to snort drain cleaner too.

[card]Warped Physique[/card]: In the right decks, or in the early game, this is going to be the best removal spell in these colors. The fact that you can use it to gain some extra damage gives it a level of versatility that requires serious testing.

I’d like to talk about BLANK but, the first rule is….

Time for a new brew! For today’s decklist, I decided that I want to go BIG.

[deck title=Travis Hall – If Life Gives You Lemonaid]

[Lands]

4 Hallowed Fountain

3 Glacial Fortress

3 Godless Shrine

3 Isolated Chapel

3 Sacred Foundry

1 Clifftop Retreat

4 Steam Vents

2 Sulfer Falls

1 Dragonskull Summit

[/Lands]

[Creatures]

1 Borborygmos Enraged

1 Snapcaster Mage

[/Creatures]

[Spells]

4 Faithless Looting

4 Izzet Charm

1 Sphinx’s Revelation

3 Forbidden Alchemy

2 Chromatic Lantern

2 Liliana of the Veil

2 Far // Away

4 Supreme Verdict

4 Obzedat’s Aid

2 Blast of Genius

3 Omniscience

2 Enter the Infinite

1 Nicol Bolas

[/Spells]

[Sideboard]

4 Wear // Tear

4 Duress

2 Negate

1 Skullcrack

2 Notion Thief

1 Far // Away

1 Sphinx’s Revelation

[/Sideboard]

[/deck]

This may be one of the most explosive/reliable “combo” decks in standard. Capable of winning as early as turn four, this deck has a ton of potential. While I have included [card]Borborygmos Enraged[/card] as an instant win following an [card]Enter the Infinte[/card], you can also win with [card]Blast of Genius[/card] discarding [card]Enter the Infinite[/card] and/or [card]Omniscience[/card]. I tried to build this version with a lot of early answers for aggro and mid-range decks, while focusing the sideboard on problematic cards and the control matchup ([card]Wear // Tear[/card] seems like it will destroy a great many copies of [card]Rest in Peace[/card] and [card]Ground Seal[/card]).

If you like my suggestions, you can follow me on Twitter: @travishall456. I throw around random observations and deck ideas every day. You can also hear me on the Horde of Notions podcast each week, discussing deck ideas for FNM level events and PTQs.