I live! I'm back from a long trip~

Those who follow me on tumblr may know I decided to retcon Flurry Heart's romance with Dragon Lord Ember (because although both parties are consenting adults, they have a pretty big age difference between them, and I'm finding that large age differences bother me more the older I get. Please don't try to convince me the age gap is fine, I appreciate the support, but it's just a personal choice for me.). So I got rid of it, but that left the question of how to stick Flurry Fart with. She's a big doofy romantic, t'ain't no way she was gonna run away from home and not end up falling head over hooves for someone stupid. Said dumbass is one Cozy Glow, reformed villain and only mildly sociopathic chessmaster extraordinaire.



(Ps. Both these characters are very much adults. Cozy's just dinky. Flurry Heart is the younger of the two, despite her towering alicorn height)



....Can we talk about what a bizarre, clumsily-conceived villain Cozy Glow is? The choice to make a child villain seems so jarring in the syrupy-sweet world of My Little Pony. Cozy is depicted as this ruthless mastermind, a vicious xenophobe, a domineering, power-hungry dictator. But why? Why is she written that way? Equestria is shown to be pretty much a peaceful utopia with a few xenophobic undercurrents, but slowly moving into an egalitarian and inclusive future for ponies and non-ponies alike. Cozy Glow has no tragic backstory, no provided motivation, no real reason to desire power and want to drive out the non-ponies......she's just evil, I guess. That's some pretty bad writing. :/



MLP has characters that are power-hungry and evil for no reason, like Sombra and Tirek, but those villains are adults. We can believe they've had time to develop reasons for their actions, as well as gather the experience necessary to become ruthless and competent. Cozy Glow is just a kid, evil for no reason, ridiculously competent for no reason. A chess cutie mark just doesn't cut it as an explanation- why is she so good at being bad? Has she had a lot of practice? Why the ass does she even want power in the first place? The show says Tirek mentored her, but how the shit does a non-unicorn child have knowledge of how to communicate to someone kept under lock and key in Tarturus?



I'm hesitant to come up with headcanons for Cozy, cuz I think the show will fill in the gaps in her character before season 9 ends (or perhaps not, the writing's been pretty meh this season). I think she's definitely an orphan, because how else could she get thrown into literal-pony-hell without a parent or guardian throwing a shit fit. Maybe her parents abandoned her, or maybe even rejected her once her anti-social tendencies began to show. Even as a very young foal, Cozy lied compulsively, happily manipulated others, and seemed to lack feelings like empathy and pity. She felt entitled to other ponies' attention and adoration, and wasn't above faking compassion and love to get what she wanted. Those are distressing traits to witness in a pre-school age pony, so perhaps her parents simply.....gave her away, and never looked back.



So now Cozy prides herself on not needing anypony, ever. Family and friends are just stupid, sentimental weakness, and besides....they'll just leave you someday. Everypony leaves someday, count on it. The best you can hope to do is play ponies as pawns, before they have a chance to use you.



I'm pretty sure Cozy will get "redeemed" in season 9, alongside Chrysalis and Tirek, who will probably all learn that friendship is magic or whatever and defeat Grogar. In the future, however, adult Cozy Glow is still pretty standoffish toward ponies and creatures, whom she believes to be a bunch of overly-saccharine dullards. The only beings she remotely trusts and care about are Lord Tirek and Queen Chrysalis, who eventually, awkwardly became a set of psuedo-parental figures to her. Cozy Glow wanders Equestria as a reformed villain, still sending postcards to Chrysalis and Tirek, eternally scheming to manipulate ponies for fun and profit, or simply as a means to alleviate her boredom. Incredibly intelligent, Cozy is a chessmaster without an opponent.



Enter Princess Flurry Heart.



Flurry is everything Cozy detests. Soft-headed, soft-hearted, trusting, sweet, beloved by all, born with infinite power at her hooftips. After cracking under the pressure of being a perfect princess and fleeing the Crystal Empire in disguise, Flurry roams Equestria searching for a new purpose. She meets Cozy Glow and recognizes her immediately, then proceeds to pester the shit out of Cozy with excited questions regarding her former villainy and personal life, what's she been up to, what hair conditioner she uses. Cozy a second away from telling the annoying alicorn to shove off when Flurry notices Cozy's cutie mark, and asks if she'd enjoy a friendly little game of chess. Cozy, now 110% done, agrees, if it'll mean Flurry will go away. After all, what hope could spoiled Princess Dumb-Dumb have against Cozy, a six time national chess champion?



A hour later, Cozy is flabbergasted when Flurry is coolly holding her captured king, a smile on her stupid pretty face. That's checkmate, Cozy dear.



Maybe there's more to Princess Dumb-Dumb than Cozy thought.



I see Cozy allowing Flurry to tag along in her adventures as an assistant of sorts. She secretly plans on using Flurry as a pawn to seize control of the Crystal Empire, but, ah....well. There's just something about Flurry that keeps gumming up Cozy's carefully laid plans. It definitely doesn't have anything to do with the princess's awful, annoying jokes, or loud, sweet laugh, or pretty, sparkling mane. Definitely has nothing to do with her horrible insistence on hugs and affection and....offering to preen Cozy's wings. Hm. Nopony....Nopony's ever offered to do that before.



Hmm.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



related:





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



