Okay, we have one simple request: to have SHARKS WITH FRICKIN’ LASER BEAMS ATTACHED TO THEIR HEADS. Upon a first read of Aston’s latest venture – the world of bespoke ‘Automotive Galleries and Lairs’ – it appears our request remains unfulfilled.

So, what’s an ‘Automotive Gallery and Lair’? It is, according to Aston Martin – real, actual, Aston Martin, not a spoof company – either a bespoke garage to house your many Aston Martins or other similar cars, or a complete luxury retreat.

Look at picture number one, and tell us it wouldn’t be improved with SHARKS WITH FRICKIN’ LASER BEAMS ATTACHED TO THEIR HEADS. Anyway, we’re not bitter at all.

“Imagine a home or luxury retreat built around your car,” explains Marek Reichman, Aston’s design boss who is responsible for some of the prettiest cars on earth. “Picture creating the ultimate space to showcase your own automotive works of art.

“For the car enthusiast the garage is as important as the rest of the house,” he continues. “A bespoke auto gallery designed by Aston Martin that either focuses on showing off the car or is part of a larger, integrated entertainment space with simulators and such like, takes Aston Martin ownership to the next level.”

You know what would take Aston Martin ownership and a large, integrated entertainment space to the next level? That’s right. Sharks. Frickin’ Laser Beams. All up on their heads.

So, if you do indeed want Aston Martin to build you a lair worthy of the very cheesiest Bond villains, or if you just want a nice underwater feature to stick your Valhalla in the middle of, give Aston a shout.

Now, about that Valhalla…