written in an hour. it’s past midnight. not betad. im super sorry if there are any funny tense shifts – this one kept wanting to be written in present tense, for some weird reason. another shoutout to imaginegreendragons for basically telling me what to add to this chapter because i had no fucking idea.

Anna fully intended on making it up to Elsa. She researched what Elsa had told her – gone to the library and read the entire section on sexuality. It hadn’t helped at all, so she’d turned to the internet. It yielded more results (and better results) but reading through countless arguments and forums (everyone kept recommending a particular person, Aven? Sounded like a make-up company. Or, wait. It was a make-up company) (no wait that was Avon).

But, in essence, Anna was confused and a little scared at what she’d found. Maybe even a little sad for Elsa, for having to live like that.



Elsa… didn’t experience sexual attraction. Ever.

But Elsa didn’t seem to mind. She was content with that. She didn’t want her pity – perhaps Anna only felt that way because she couldn’t imagine living without wanting sex. It was as foreign to her as people who weren’t attracted to girls. Have they not seen them at all?

But that wasn’t her place. She was happy with who she was, and Elsa had every right to be happy with who shewas, regardless of Anna’s (or anyone’s) understanding.

But the… Anna also found herself to be quite terrified of herself, too. It’s easier to control herself now that Elsa has given her an ‘excuse’, and the very idea of that disgusts Anna. Elsa shouldn’t have needed to give a reason for not wanting sex.

But that was sort of in the past now. It happened weeks ago – the snow was finally deep enough for snowmen, and they were at the stage of planning and buying Christmas presents.

Anna refused to acknowledge the small part of her that feared spending another Christmas alone.

But that was irrelevant. One hard part was over, and she truly, honestly believed that she and Elsa were better for talking. Even if Elsa became uncomfortable sometimes – far more often than she used to. Whenever they kissed, it was never quite as… passionate. If Anna even hinted at getting too intimate, Elsa pulled back. Retreated to her shell once again.

Anna had been trying so hard not to push Elsa, either – she cared for and respected her too much. But dammit, she didn’t realise how hard it would be. She didn’t need Elsa’s touch or her body, but she needed her presence. And that was something that had been missing, too. Because even if they kissed, even when they pressed close on Elsa’s sofa and Anna felt kissed to within an inch of her life, she couldn’t get the feeling from her chest that Elsa’s mind was wandering; that she was thinking of things other than how nice Anna tasted, or that she used a different flavour toothpaste and wore cherry-vanilla lipgloss.

And it was probably just old insecurities come out to play, but Anna felt… lost. Now that she knew, there was a change in the way Elsa kissed her.

It reminded her of Hans, of his wandering hands and wandering mind. His big bed, which he was more than happy to fill up with women other than Anna.

In some ways, the lack of sex made it easier – she didn’t have to fear Elsa chasing other people. The likelihood of getting cheated on was staggeringly low. Elsa chose to be with her because she wanted to – not because of any 'favours’ she was getting from Anna. And that sort of security was nice.

But it didn’t stop the years-old insecurities from bubbling to the surface. Why would Elsa choose Anna over… well, literally anyone else?

She had to stop there, blinking back tears and fighting to ignore that insidious little voice. She was a big girl, and if she had a problem, she needed to talk to Elsa about it.

But the most important thing was buying a Christmas present worthy of her in the first place. Conversations could come later.

~~~~

Elsa, on the other hand, was having very few difficulties. She knew exactly what she wanted to get Anna – and it probably seemed like a pointless gift, she’d become quite good at reading the feisty redhead.

There was something bothering Anna, and it started with E (or s-e-x, depending on how specific one wanted to go). Elsa was self-aware enough to realise that her pulling away sometimes didn’t help, but if she were honest, she was… well, scared.

That night on Halloween had been an eye-opener. It had been scary. And while she wanted nothing more than to forget it happened – while she wanted to be free to be completely open with Anna, she couldn’t help but remember that Anna wasn’t like her. Anna wasn’t a virgin. Anna liked sex and was attracted (extremely attracted) to Elsa. The 'I want to do things to you’ attracted that Elsa would never been able to reciprocate. So, Elsa would realise and remember and distance herself because she didn’t want to disappoint Anna. She’d work up her girlfriend and then not be able to do anything about it. And Anna, sweet little Anna, wouldn’t even go into the bathroom to relieve that tension – the tension Elsa had caused – for fear of hurting her or scaring her off.

Truthfully, Elsa had even been too scared to touch herself, for fear of confusing Anna further. It was something they needed to talk about, but something Elsa was more than prepared to put off – at least until after Christmas.

Perhaps her present would help. She could only hope.

Christmas Day dawned bright and early. A fresh layer of powder sat on the quiet streets, and even the promise of presents wasn’t enough to stir Anna from her place on Elsa’s couch.

The smell of bacon and eggs was, however.

Bundled up in three layers of clothes and the blanket she’d slept with, Anna trundled over to the kitchen. She could hear the heater running, and hoped it would actually warm up soon. Elsa was in the kitchen, still frustratingly layer-less. She was leaning over the counter, a mug of hot chocolate between her hands, and Anna was reminded of her first sight of her, in the same position, with the same mug. The only thing different was Elsa’s top – the muscle shirt had been replaced by a too-big Ugly Christmas Sweater.

She looked adorable.

“Hey,” Anna said. “Happy Christmas…”

Elsa’s returning smile was soft and warm, and she stood up straight. “Hey yourself,” she said. “Merry Christmas.” She turned around and took a plate out of the microwave. “Still warm,” she said.

Anna was usually a fast eater, but she practically inhaled the bacon-and-egg muffin Elsa placed in front of her. She washed it down with a stolen sip of Elsa’s hot chocolate before grabbing the blonde’s.

“Presents!” she cried out, earning a chuckle from Elsa.

“Alright,” came the reply. “I’ll meet you in the living room – just have to pee.”

Anna nodded and spent the next five minutes looking at their tiny tree in the corner of the living room. Most of the presents underneath were for other people – Elsa’s father, Anna’s parents, Kristoff. Elsa had bought something for someone and labelled it 'Marshmallow’, but she hadn’t explained it beyond that.

When Elsa returned, she was looking decidedly more excited than Anna expected her to.

“Wanna go first?” Elsa offered, sitting in front of the tree and beckoning Anna over. She plucked two presents from underneath, handing one to Anna. The redhead shook her head.

“I wanna see your face first,” she said, smiling.

Elsa was meticulous when unwrapping the present. She even folded the paper up! But, the smile the burst onto her face when she saw what was in the box more than made up for how long it took her to get there.

“Anna, is this-” Anna nodded her head. Elsa lifted the item from its holder.

An ice-blue cat collar, with a little tinkling bell, sat on Elsa’s hands. There was a placeholder for a name – one that was currently empty – and even though the collar itself had little meaning, Elsa knew what Anna was trying to say with it.

Anna looked away abashedly. “I wasn’t sure what to get you,” she said, “but you said something about a cat and… and I want that sort of life with you…”

She wasn’t expecting Elsa to lean forward and capture her lips, but she certainly didn’t complain. Much of what Elsa did surprised Anna. “Now, open your present,” Elsa whispered, unfiltered excitement in her eyes.

Anna’s present was wrapped much neater than Elsa’s. Anna didn’t care at all as she ripped into it, uncovering a vast selection of… paints?

She looked at Elsa, confused. “Um, Els? Not that this isn’t awesome or anything but, um, I don’t paint…”

Elsa was biting her lip. “I know,” she began. “It’s kinda… for me? Not like-!” she rushed to explain as Anna’s face fell a fraction, “Not like that! Like… it’s body paint. For me to… paint you. If- if you want…”

That time, it was Anna’s turn to lean forward and kiss Elsa. “I would… very much like that, Elsa,” she said. “I would- wow I would love that. But, only if you’re… okay with it.”

Elsa pressed her lips to Anna’s forehead. “If I wasn’t,” she began, “Then I would have bought something else. I want to do this.”

Anna smiled. “Then let’s do it.”