Engagement photos are now as big a deal as wedding photos, because after all, “Engagement shoots are the single best way to rub your happiness in the fat townie face of every person you went to grade school with.” Mind you, this is all according to a deleted sketch from Inside Amy Schumer Season 3.

This riff on engagement photos that will be available among the bonus materials on the upcoming DVD release of the show’s third season. The Trainwreck star portrays one half of the happy couple doing the rubbing in the faces, while Jemima Kirke of Girls fame is the photographer showing them the ropes.

Rule No. 1: Always start underneath a tree because “when people are engaged they hang out under trees.” Rule No. 2: Don’t look at the camera, always at each other. Rule No. 3: Appear tiny, like a baby “covered in placenta.” Rule No. 4: One shot should have the bride as dead weight like a feather, so the groom-to-be can carry her off to happily ever after. Take these rules for what they’re worth, but don’t say they weren’t offered up freely.