I am almost finished my awesome little stay at my vacation home in Florida. As a celebrity, sometimes you just need to get away. At least that’s what I tell people, but in actual fact I’m such an international celebrity that there isn’t much escape. And Florida especially loves their wieners.

I usually do my vacation blog posts in multiple-part series. This time I’m doing it a little different. This post will feature my 6-second Vine videos from my trip, and my next post will be a little more in depth and feature my awesome new GoPro video (which you should be very excited for!)

First we need to back up a bit – to my hometown, that is. Mum always makes me pack my suitcase before we leave, reiterating several times that I should only bring ‘essentials’ to minimize baggage. Easier said than done for a celebrity.

I consider all of my below toys essential necessities for celebrity dachshund survival.

And if they don’t all fit, well heck, all the more reason for Mum and Dad to buy me the private jet I’ve been asking for.

Next stop is the airport, where I make sure ‘I’ll fit’ and get checked in.

I’m a happy camper once I get to Florida. The heat, the sunshine, and of course the babes. If you don’t know me by now, just know that I’m all about my sun rays, squeaky toys, and sexy ladies. Now that’s a dawg‘s life.

Once I got to my vacation home, I told Mum to chip chop and hook up the bike trailer. It’d been a while since I had been there and I needed to cruise the neighborhood to see if any new babes had moved in.

So here I am on babe patrol while sporting my classic Ray Bans. What girl wouldn’t drop jaw (and collar ; ) at this scene?

Unfortunately I didn’t spot any new girls on the block. But that’s ok, because I had some other super-exciting stuff to attend to.

As you may know, I am an avid fisherman, so when I saw picture of the giant fishy they call a ‘manatee’, I knew I had to see it for myself.

I had a hard time seeing from way up in the boat, so I had Mum rig me up this little lifeboat.

This was a much better vantage point for spotting them.

As you’ll see in the below video, since we were now close to seeing them I decided to put on my snorkel gear. There was no telling when I might need to make a quick-decision dive attack on one of them. As a fisherman, I know how rare some opportunities can be, so I like to be prepared.

When we finally saw one, I was a bit disappointed. I told Mum “this is the most boring fish I’ve ever seen”. She told me it was just because it was sleeping, and that they aren’t actually ‘fishies’. Not sure how I felt about that..

I still wanted to get a closer look. So I took to the water to explore for myself.

I kept my snorkel tube but ditched the mask – because the dang thing kept fogging up and wasn’t that ‘waterproof’ anyhow.

Then, we finally found some that were moving around. Being the brave, intrepid explorer that I am, I swam right above it!

To be honest, manatees are a bit bigger than they looked in the pictures, so at the last minute I decided not to pursue my ‘from-above’ dive-attack plan. Mum also explained to me that they’re endangered. An honorable fisherman/hunter knows how to respect a species that’s in trouble, and in fact, all species.

So that’s why I turned away at the last second.

Since I was already in the water though, I figured I might as well work on my doggy paddle to perfect my stroke. I am already a champion racer on land, and if there’s ever a water wiener race I need to make sure I’m on top of my game.

You’ll notice in the below video that my two front shovels are in this case, two front paddles while my back legs are purely for stability and steering. I guess having a log-shaped body makes us prone to rolling over.

The weight of my actual wiener also helps to prevent my from keeling over (that’s a hint to the ladies).

So to wrap up an awesome vacation, on the last day we went to visit Fort Desoto Doggy Beach. It wasn’t the nicest day though, so there weren’t many babes out (except Mum).

But it was here that I got to put my original two front shovels to work digging in the sand. Dad told me there are treasures of hidden squeaky balls buried in all beaches, so I am on a forever quest to find them all.

So that’s my Florida vacation in 6-second clips (and a couple photos).

Stay tuned for my next post that will feature my Florida vacation GoPro video. And trust me, you don’t want to miss it.

Keep swimmin’,

~ Crusoe

My New Book! Featuring my worldly travels far and wide, from Europe to Mexico and more, and the whole story of my surgery and recovery! Rated 5 stars on Amazon! Get Yours!

Comments

comments