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Wonder if I can pick up a fat finder’s fee from some on-the-ball environmental law firm based in Mumbai, looking to pull in a cool billion bucks from the deep pockets of Vancouver city council? One per cent seems fair.

Because that same B.C. outfit just voted to go after various oil companies — mostly based in Alberta, of course — for a hefty share of expected costs due to predicted climate change. They reckon a billion dollars would be reasonable compensation for future damages.

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So they can’t complain when cities across India return that favour and request similar big payouts, considering Vancouver is North America’s largest coal exporting port and the latest lucrative market for that environmentally nasty black stuff is — yep, you guessed it — India.

Is it any wonder the saintly David Suzuki feels so at home in B.C., with his handful of fancy homes? That province ranks first, second and third in the hypocrisy Olympics, combining an endless bleating about the dangers of oil pipelines with a grubby cash grab from exporting coal.