1. The profound sense of anger and injustice you feel when Matt Le Tissier doesn’t top a list of the best ever Premier League goals.

Paolo Di Canio’s scissor-kick? David Beckham from his own half? Tony Yeboah’s volley?

“Rubbish,” you scream. None of these will ever come close to a Le Tissier special.

Sadly, there actually seem to be people – “idiots,” as you call them – who don’t understand this, and rank these sorts of goals as the best in the Premier League’s history.

Not only does Le Tissier need to be first, but there needs to be an absolute minimum of three of his goals in the top ten to stop you descending into an almighty rage.

We don't recommend clicking on it, but here’s a classic example, which only has one Le Tissier goal in it – and in SIXTH position!

2. How you get really annoyed when fans of other clubs rip off “Oh when the Saints go marching in.” (Especially you, Tottenham).

Admit it, it gets on your nerves when you hear it... “Oh when the Spurs go marching in.”

It’s not enough that they regularly want to take your managers, players and even your recruitment staff – they’re also nicking your song too.

And they’re not the only ones. Loads of clubs seem to crowbar their name into it. Where’s the originality?!

Ok, so Saints fans didn’t write it themselves, but they have a pretty obvious claim to it in the football world, along with St Johnstone, of course – you don’t mind them singing it.

Otherwise, though, it’s a case of: “Get your own song,” (and, while we’re discussing it, don’t put it to the tune of Sloop John B!).

3. How, for years, you couldn’t listen to Tony Christie’s Amarillo.

It was kind of fun when Peter Kay brought the catchy song back for Comic Relief in 2005, but things quickly turned sour when Pompey hijacked the tune and changed the words.

We don’t want to open up too many old wounds here, but anyone who was at the 4-1 defeat at Fratton Park in that same year can probably still hear the cries of “We’re going to send the Scummers down”.

Sure enough, Saints did go down, as did Tony Christie’s sales figures in Southampton. Unfortunately, the song was pretty much everywhere you went, so it was almost impossible to escape it. You wouldn't react well when it did come on the radio.

Now, though, Saints are flying high in the Premier League, while Pompey have collapsed down to League Two. So it's no surprise you've developed your own lyrics... “Who the **** is laughing now” indeed.

4. The weird sense of pride you feel about Ali Dia.

Sure, it’s one of the most embarrassing incidents in the club’s history, but it still holds a little place in your heart.

There are so many great things about the story.

The fact that he and his mate somehow tricked manager Graeme Souness into believing he was the cousin of George Weah.

The fact that Matt Le Tissier – the club’s greatest ever player – was the one who got taken off for him.

The fact that he ACTUALLY COULD HAVE SCORED.

And the fact that he was so obviously rubbish that he lasted just 53 minutes on the pitch (rather than in date form, his Saints career has been nicely summed up as 8.17pm-9.25pm).

Remember how you feel about those lists of goals and Le Tissier not being at the top? Well, you kind of feel the same when Ali Dia isn’t placed at the summit of a list of the Premier League’s worst ever players.

5. The joy...and resulting awkwardness...of meeting someone from Latvia.

“Where are you from?” you ask.

“Latvia,” comes the reply.

“MARIAN PAHARS!”

This involuntary reflex, to shout the name of the little Saints legend at anyone you discover to be from his homeland, is ingrained into many of the club’s fans.

Perhaps fortunately, most will probably never meet a Latvian.

If you do, though, it’s a wonderful experience initially, as you simultaneously remember Pahars’ brilliant exploits and delight in this common ground you clearly believe you share with your newfound acquaintance.

However, it turns out people from Latvia can get a bit uncomfortable if you simply shout his name at them by way of a greeting.

A bit like if you went to America and everyone just screamed “David Beckham” at you when you introduced yourself. It would be weird, right? Remember that.

6. Your willingness to support Latvia at anything.

The Olympics, the Eurovision Song Contest. It doesn’t matter. If you’re watching an event and you see Latvia being represented, you can’t help but cheer them on.

After all... “MARIAN PAHARS!”

7. You knew about Theo Walcott and Gareth Bale BEFORE they were famous!

You know those slightly annoying friends you have? The ones who always said things like ‘Oh, I liked Oasis before they were big and became far too commercialised.’ Well, that’s sort of you when it comes to the best of Saints’ academy products.

You’ll always prefer the raw, early work from the slightly awkward, yet approachable youngsters over the more polished, manufactured stuff produced now that they’re cocooned multi-millionaires.

Like the people who claim to have watched the Beatles at The Cavern Club, you were there when Gareth Bale scored in a 2-0 home win over Coventry and when Theo Walcott was laying on chances for Nigel Quashie.

Bale might now be scoring in Champions League finals, but you knew about him before anyone else, and that feels pretty sweet.

8. How you feel oddly proud when you see a piece of Liebherr machinery.

You probably didn’t realise it before Markus Liebherr took over the club in 2009, but these things seem to be everywhere.

Markus wasn’t involved in this side of the business, but that doesn’t matter – seeing any of these cranes, diggers, or other bits of hulking machinery, still brings a grin to your face, as you remember his own beaming smile.

9. How, when the winning team is presented with the FA Cup each year, you smugly think ‘Yeah, but it’s not the Queen handing it to you, is it?’

Her Majesty hasn’t handed over the FA Cup trophy since 1976, when Saints last won it.

Coincidence? Well, I suppose...or perhaps she simply recognised, as you did, that things just couldn’t get any better. She’s always been a shrewd one, hasn’t she?

Nowadays, Prince William is usually on hand to present it instead. I mean, he’s good and all, but a prince? Pah! You had the Queen.

10. You really wanted the giant Saints flag in JJB Sports.

Ok, this one may be really niche, but remember that giant (I mean, it was really enormous) Saints flag that they had in the big JJB Sports store on the WestQuay retail park?

Every young, and probably even some old, fans would look at it and think, ‘Could I?’ You’d literally have had nowhere to put it, and we’re not even sure if you could actually buy it, but the thought always crossed your mind before you eventually reasoned with yourself that it just wouldn’t be sensible.

Now, JJB Sports is gone – replaced by a Decathlon store – and the flag has departed too. Sadly, we have no photo of it, or any idea where it currently is.

We like to imagine that a Saints fan walked in on the final day of its closing down sale, cast aside their better judgement and bought it.

Can you think of any other suggestions? If so, leave them in the comments section, or email echosport@dailyecho.co.uk. If we get any good ones, we might add them in.