Tweet









Sharebar

Tweet









Everybody watches TV. Some watch it more carefully than others. The people who watch it closely, know about the conspiracy these TV channels have hatched, i.e, of running advertisements at the same times so that we all end up watching the same re-runs of mind numbingly idiotic ads. After watching them so many times, anybody can see the pattern. We are just summing it all up.

1. Puke your food ad

This is the kind of ad which pops up every time you sit with your favourite plate of butter chicken / pasta / parantha. The ad’s sole aim is to make you feel sick in the stomach by showing visual treats of yellow stained potty seat wherein the stain refuses to go if you use the “sadharan” toilet cleaner but immediately turns spotless white (just like the “chaunk gaye” TIDE whiteness) with a drop of Harpic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4LQ92LRwH8

Words of advice – keep your toilets clean….. otherwise Hussein will come with his bottle of Harpic to your house and clean it for you.

2. The ’Spray me and get laid’ ad

A bare-chested-waxed- six-pack –abs guy sprays a deodorant and scantily clad chikas from everywhere around start heaving, panting and running towards him like crazy bulls. Yes every god damn perfume / deodorant ad on TV is the same. If this was not enough the latest AXE ad claims that if you use AXE ,’angels will start falling from heaven’. We all love chicks but for god’s sake but for once bring some creativity. And dude, if you have a six pack like that, it doesnt matter which deodrant you use.

3. The teleshopping ad

“Pehle main bahut mota tha………phir maine use kiya Slim Sauna belt. Ab meri biwi mujhse bahut pyaar karti hai.”

If you are a late night TV viewer, then these ads are your worst enemies. Fair skinned foreigners with hilariously dubbed voices in Hindi trying to sell some slimming belt or tea are the dumbest lot of ads on TV. It is gut wrenchingly painfulwhen you encounter these ads on Discovery Channel.

4. The magical ad

If you are an Indian girl with a dark complexion, you won’t get a job, the man of your dreams would reject you and the society would look down upon you. Or that’s what these Fairness cream makers would like you to believe. In short your life is as good as hell. But wait! They have the solution. Use their brand of cream for 7 weeks and feel the change. For Christ’s sake, being wheatish or dark skinned is not a crime so stop showing us girls crying over their dark colour. And as if that was not enough, you have created a new breed of Metrosexual men (read Gay) who want to be fair.

The newest of them claim fairer private parts. I am going to kill myself after finishing this post.

5. The Packaged drinking water ad

So you would have me believe that Mc Dowells and Bacardi are actually music labels and Kingfisher really runs by selling packaged drinking water. Also Carlsburg is only in the business because of the Soda Glasses. Makes us wonder, who is the idiot here. Government- Which has brought a regulation and does not have the balls to follow them? Or Us- Who are supposed to believe that these companies are actually selling alcohol in the garb of water?

6. The no logic ad

A Baywatch lifeguard comes out the sea, you imagine all possibilities ,from a sun block lotion to sunglasses to tourist spots .You apply all your guess work until the background sound says “JK Cement – Vishwas hai, issmein kuch khaas hai” and you end up feeling so silly. Will anyone tell me what is that woman in the swimsuit got to do with the cement?

Another senseless one is the Amul Macho underwear ad where monkeys steal the under wears from a balcony and wear them with the background music saying “yeh toh bada toing hai”. Do not even think of tolerating this 10 second torture, please immediately change the channel.

7. The celebrity ad

Amitabh Bacchan, Shah Rukh Khan, Sachin Tendulkar, M.S Dhoni selling Navratan tel, men’s fairness cream, gel pens, briefs, vests, motor bikes. I mean why would Dhoni so convincingly tell us to buy a TVS scooter when he himself has a Harley Davidson. Oh wait! The Moolah! It will make Mr. Bacchan say he eats Maggi and make SRK say he uses lux after he sits in his bathtub. Give me a break!

The only blessing in disguise for us from these no-brain ads is the new feature started by the channels which shows the countdown time within which the program would return after the ad-break. So flip the channels and save yourself the torture.

Comments

comments

Powered by Facebook Comments