All suicides should be unassisted lonely affairs, insist pro-life groups

Pro-life groups have criticised the BBC over Terry Pratchett’s Dignitas documentary, insisting that suicide should be a lonely affair involving trains, lengths of rope, or a gun.

The BBC documentary showed Pratchett visiting the Dignitas clinic to see the death of a UK man, who might otherwise have been forced to cause a sizeable delay to the 7:32 Reading to Paddington commuter train.

Pro-Life campaigner Mike Williams told us, “We can’t have people going around thinking suicide is something you can do surrounded by your loved ones prior to the full onset of a terribly painful disease.”

“We must retain the image of suicide being the sort of thing that annoys commuters, or at the very least is a bit ‘messy’.”

“The Bible doesn’t say anything about taking a lethal dose of barbiturates to prevent an excruciating death at a later point, so it must be a bad thing according to Jesus.”

Pratchett documentary

A spokesperson for the Care Not Killing Alliance said, “We’re confident that if we can ban assisted suicide, then people will stop killing themselves.”

“But if the law allows it, or continues to look the other way, then people will be killing themselves left right and centre, won’t they.”

“Had a bad day at work? Kill yourself. Team lost on Saturday? Kill yourself. Run out of milk? Kill yourself. This is obviously the logical conclusion if we allow assisted suicide.”

“It’s these kneejerk decisions to kill yourself that we need to be preventing. Otherwise there’d be no-one left, would there?”