THAT’S ONE TOILET ROLL YOU DON’T WANT TO MESS WITH



Actually, I had forgot that it was for a mission where you have to escort a Mammoth. Minor detail, not that exciting. I escorted it. Giant toilet roll of doom showed up. That’s the exciting part. I also believe I might have forgotten the mission about spying, but really, that was really boring as heck, and you guys will know what happens in that mission anyways most likely. You follow a ship. That’s pretty much what these early (maybe all of them?) story missions come down to. Really, you know it’s boring since I forgot it.

A large Commonwealth fleet consisting of several Argon capitals and a few Boron capitals surrounds the Terran carrier. It’s still putting up a fight, though, as the sky is filled with darts of hot colorful light fluttering between the Tokyo and the Commonwealth fleet.

I’m commed and told to stay back, as the Tokyo will basically hand my Ashigaru to me. Fine by me. I’ll just watch you guys shoot stuff.

Lasers go pew-pew-pew pewpewiepew, and then they go pewwwwwwewweewwwww. Pew. Pew pew.

The Tokyo’s hull is draining fast now, as there is some serious pew-pew going on. Pew pew pew pew PEEEW pew. And then pew-pew.

The giant tissue roll of doom explodes in a massive pew-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM! The sector is lit up like a giant tissue roll of doom just exploded, which is, coincidentally, exactly what happened

IT’S THE LEAST I COULD PEW

I’m bored again, so I start stock trading. The commander dude tells me that the Jonferco Headquarters is under some heavy pew-pew right now, and I should head over there and pew-pew right back.

I jump over there and pew-pew. And then they want me destroy the turrets, lest they pew. I gotta take a pew after all this pew-pew-pew.

I then went and patrolled back-and-forth between Omicron Lyrea and the place North of it. Since The Place North of It is right next to the Terran sectors, I thought there would be Terrans to shoot. Nope.

After a few runs, there are some Terran fighters. They don’t give up much of a fight, and are disposed of lazily by my ridiculous amount of pew-pew lasers.

(I just have to sneak this in right now. WordPress is giving me a recommended link to the Wikipedia page on toilet rolls, and Zemanta is showing me pictures of pink, white, and fancily-packaged toilet paper. And even a picture of toilet paper in a holder which looks to be taken with a phone camera. Is this really what people have to do with internet connections, Photoshop and [phone] cameras? Awesome.)

HUGE LAVA PLANET IS HUGE

I fly around more of the war sectors. Not much really happens, so I flip some Biological Micro-organisms on the Seizewell exchange. Then come some of the other Naturals rising in index, so I but them, and wait for somebody to shoot.

After a little while, my stocks lower their index, going up in price, but my supply of people to pew-pew is not increasing, but my demand to pew-pew is.

I travel through the Albion sectors, as they look really cool. I get some screenshots, which aren’t available to me, so I’ll take some better ones soon.

I fly up to one of the highways. These things will be essentially replacing gates in X: Rebirth, so I want to make sure they look really cool.

They look really cool. So does the planet, a cracked, raging planet with visible lava residing deep in the crevices of this world. The Albion series of sectors are probably the most hardware demanding sectors in the whole game, and they look amazing. They’ve done a real good job of the art, and they’ve crafted the lore and art of it to make it a mysterious, interesting place, one which I hope to explore, and of course conquer by destroying lots of competitors with lasers, in Rebirth.

The highways are large, round, long metal masses, which are essentially groups of metal rings, which in conjunction with a complex structure connecting the rings, create a large, accessible, skeletal tunnel. These are definitely one of the more unique ideas for traveling space which I have encountered in sci-fi, and I think their design and use will create an interesting game mechanic, and it sounds like, make Rebirth‘s sector design (now you have entire solar systems to travel through) and traveling much more interesting.

I FOUND (ANNIHILATED) A HEAVY CENTAUR WITH A COOL PAINTJOB

I’m commed and told that I need to fight pirates or somethin’ through one of the gates, or somethin’. It’s actually not through a gate, it’s through an Trans-Orbital Can’t-Just-Jumpdrive-Over-There-Because-It’s-Basically-a-Gate-But-Annoyingly-Isn’t-Accelerator-Which-Doesn’t-Accelerate-Travel-But-I-Guess-Looks-Kinda-Cool-Accelerator. Most of you call it a “Trans-Orbital Accelerator”, though.

I’m fine with Trans-Orbital Decelerators here, though, as I get to fly through each sector, pressing buttons on the num-pad and spamming F12, and even stopping and turning my ship so I can hit F12 in just the right spot.

At the sector, I fly through it and come to a Heavy Centaur. I’m in my normal Centaur which I acquired from the plot, and so I have my Heavy Centaur go kill the other enemies in the sector.

This Heavy Centaur has a cool orange flame-pattern painted on it, which my screenshots of are currently are residing on my flashdrive. I’m not going to upload them from this computer, though, as I have a ton of stuff on the flashdrive, and I don’t want to jumble something up.

My lasers point at him and add some giant bolts of searing blue to complement his orange.

I KILL EVERYONE ELSE

His buddies come to thank me for the good paint job. I give them complementary samples, and then I go off and track down another group of ships. They try to maneuver this way and that, and my arrows of light meet them this way and that, melting through the metal of their hulls, and exposing their inhabitants to both fire and space.

After I’ve destroyed the other wings, I wait for the message that my mission has been complete. Nothing happens. I fly around some more. It just says to kill enemies here. I guess that means I didn’t kill all of them.

Flying deeper into the sector, more enemy signatures pick up on my radar. I pursue them, and my Heavy Centaur behind me makes it’s bulky way towards them.

For some reason, they think they’ll be brave and fly straight towards us. The M.C.P Starfall and the M.C.P. Shadowshard race to meet them, as the sky is lit up with multicolored beams of death. The Phased Repeater Cannons from the Shadowshard shred through the vacuum of space, and then then the pirate’s hulls. I, in the Starfall, keep them under constant barrage of my huge cannons, which kill each of them in just a few shots. My turrets blaze away at enemies trying to flank around me, and they are also exposed to the hottest heat and the coldest cold.

“Thank you for your assistance”.

I hope you enjoyed this article! If you did, pew-pew that “like” button, tell me about your enthusiasm regarding the plot missions in the comments below, and follow (via WordPress) and subscribe (via email) so you can be the first to know when one of my Mercury’s sideswipes my stations!

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