Why Ann Coulter IS NOT a Scientist or Human – Part II (here’s part 1)

by Facebook Whorebockle

3/24/2011

Credentials and Qualifications: I’m a professional feminist liberal with degree Winning, scientits love me

New Information For the World: 3-24-2011 (omg 2012 is coming! im so scared… i just no california where i live will be hit with like the super volcano n then I’ll evolve to live under the water and on junky rusty ships with only a few drops of water to drink even tho water is all around (but it’s too salty {{{sighs}}}), like in Waterworld with that hottie Kevin Kostner, his gills were so cute!):

Ok but I wanted to say I feel bad about the Poison Gold Toads that we all helped to kill with our toxic waste and flushing so many times a day. We do it so much that alligators like to live in the sewers people, not good. The golden poison toads :( they could have saved so many lives with their poisons, that’s what the scientists said. Why do I feel so confused right now? Like, I think it’s emo? Am I an emo? But no I can’t be I’m a progressive preppy liberal girl, with modern type shoulder pads? Who knows, but in the end we’re all humans right? Omg the conmfusion feels worse. {{{{sigh}}}} I need my bf and gfs to hug me right now, so cold because of the global warming, oops I mean climate changes. Did you know it’s getting so cold that masses of crows have been dying everywhere? They’re just falling on people everywhere. Ew: CROWS. Aren’t those the filthy things that like to attack those giant straw dolls in olden peoples’ fields of straw? Weeeeirdooooos.

Ok, but so now that I got that off my breasts (I’m not a man okay I don’t say “chests”), I feel better, I think. Um, wait, I think I forgot my XXX strength Bipolaron meds. Whatever I like to be emo sumtimes. So, what was I going to say… omigod oh yeah: ANN COULTER YOU ARE A BIIIITCH!!!! HAHA WE’RE GOING TO SEND U TO THE FUKISHIMA ISLAND FOR SCIENCE TO SEE HOW LONG YOU LAST DRINKING POISONED MILK AND TOUCHING THAT WHITE BUILDING THAT EXPLODED, WHATEVER THAT THING WAS. HA. Okay, oops hold on mi mum is callin me, why did I say mum? I think I’m texting to many Great Brittany people. Hello mom, I have news for you did you know that bitch Ann Coulter, wait, what, u no? Oh u read my journal? Oh. Wait I can’t type what I’m saying and talk to you at the same time hold on, hold on peopaple okya have to talk to my moum its gttin to hard to talk to the world n she at once (I only have so much brain power okay?): …

Okay it’s been five mins I’m back. What the, why did my music stop playing? I love justin beiber oh no! Whuh… omigod my mom turned my radio off! Whuh the hell is she doing in the house? Oh she said she didn’t feel like going down four flights of stairs (hah we live in a big mansion, don’t worry tho it’s totally approved by Energy Star, which the EPA ((Environmental Progressive Activists)) works for). Hold on, MOM ARE YOU READING THIS, TURN THE RADIO BACK ON JUSTIN BEEBER WAS ON!!!). K it’s back on.

WHAT?!!!? I JUST READ ON REDDIT THAT ANN COULTER (OMIGOD HER NAME IS SO LONG I’M GETTING TIRED TYPING IT OVER AND OVER PEOPLE, AT LEAST YOU DON’T HAVE TO TYPE AN E AFTER ANNE THOUGH, U NO?), OKAY I JUST READ ON READDIT THAT ANN COULTER, OMIGOD, MY FINGERS, THAT ON REDDITT, HOLD ON HAVE TO READ IT AGAIN… OMIGOD!!: SHE SAID THAT SHE IS GOING TO SEND FUKUSKIMAN CHILDREN BACK TO FUKUSHIMA TO GET RADIATION IN THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMIGOD THE BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!!!!!! When will she stop making fun of people people? When will she stop the propaganda and the senseishanalizing? :( SHE NEEDS TO BE STOPPPPPEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD.

Well, I have to eat my meal for the day. It’s very small, it’s just three tofu shrimps with peanut sauce and miso and a little potato and a vitamin C pill and some kelp (it has things in it that protect from the radiation in Fu, ok let’s just call Fumishima Fu for now on, or just Fumi, it’s so much easier to remember and type). {{{sigh}}} sorry Fu. people I mean u no disrespect to your ethnicity.

Uh oh, I just read on CNN, that those crazy North Koreans are threatening to fire their nuclear missiles at Japan unless they surrender for “wrecklessly spreading radiation on the world and its children and prescious whales and dolphins that you refuse to stop back-breaking and eating” (omigod that’s so true the Japanese are so cruel they eat intelligent animals!!!! and cute ones too!!!! they eat live fish toooooo!! i saw it on youtube it’s so mean and gross!!!!!). So first Fumishima spreads radiation on us and now Japan? But that’s where I fly on Saturdays to eat sushi with my friends!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

URGENT MESSAGE TO JAPAN: PLEASE, WHY CAN’T YOU JUST GET ALONG WITH NORTH KOREANS ALREADY AND, PLEASE, FOR THE SAKE OF THE SUSHI AND WHALES AND DOLPHINS AND MORE PRECIOUS LIVES ON EARTH JUST SURRENDER OKAY? THE NORTH KOREANS JUST WANT PEACE OKAY??? WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG??? I feel soooo sad. Oh and North Koreans: please don’t threaten people with nuclear missiles that’s just uncalled for, just ask politely okay? There’s many friendly people in Japan who will listen if you are polite, especially if you are beautiful like me so if you like, ummm, like use hotties like me to send your surrender message I’m sure they will be more open to suggestions. They really like xxx stuff too and they write tons of books for little girls called Hentai so they can leran how to dress cute at school, that’s what my male Japan friends in Japan who like to read it told me, I dunno why they were so blushing about it tho when I asked about it, bcuz I saw them reading it a lot while eating sushi.

UPDATE THIS JUST IN FROM REDDIT:

ANN COULTER REFUSES TO BE STERILIZED BCUZ SHE SAYS “IT’S TOO EXPENSIVE AND I WAN’T BABIES POSSIBLY IN THE FUTURE” – OH – MY – GODDESS: Ann you cheap bitch just go to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation u idiet, they’ve been giving out vaccines for free for the past 20 years duuh, stupid overpupilition bitch. I bet u breed dogs and bat like crazy too huh? Didn’t u already learn from Facebook bat poop isn’t good for the planet, YOUR MOTHER? GAYA? STOP DENYING HER HER RIGHTS. Ur setting back our feminism movement by 2000 years (when YOUR FAKE GOD OF OUR PAGAN CROSS YOU STOLE FROM MY WITCH SISTERS AND WARLOCK BROTHERS!) SAID WOMEN CAN’T BE FRIENDS WITH MEN MUST SUBMIT TO THEIR DOMINATION ummmm, what else, SAID THEY CAN’T BE PRIESTESSES, HAVE TO WORSHIP UR PATRIARCHICAL SYSTEM OF ANTIBLACK AND ANTIFEMINIST OPPRESSION, ummm, omigod i feel geeky like u, ANDDDD, OH YEAH CAUSED OVER POPULATION, OVERPOLLUTION (SHDN’T HAVE BEEN MAKING POLLUTION TO BEGIN WITH SHUD HAVE PREACHED TO RECYCLE YOU IDIOTS) KILLED ALL THE BAFFULOS STOLE THE NATIVE AMERICAN’ LANDS, KILLED MILLIONS OF WITCHES (AND STILL KEEPING US OUT OF UR MALE-DOMINATED CHURCHES AKA ORGANIZED RELIGIONS) AND OPRESSED THE LGBT COMMUNITY SO THEY HAD TO HAVE SEX AND MARRAIGE IN SECRET RATHER THAN BEING OPEN AND FREE LIKE THE REST OF THE NON-CHRISTIAN WORLD, WHICH WAS AT PEACE TILL U CHRISTIANS PRETENDED TO INVENT THE CROSS AND JESUS, WHO, OH YEAH: DIDN’T EVEN DIE HE WAS EATEN BY A DOG ON THE CROSS LIKE IT CHEWED ON THE ROPES ACCORDING TO ALL THE MAJOR SCIENTITS OF THE WORLD AND THEN HID IN A CAVE IN FRANCE AND HAD ROYAL BABIES, OMGIGOD, HAVE TO CATCH MY BREATH, WHO THEN MADE THESE MATH PAINTINGS POINTING TO HIDDEN TREASURES IN A CATHOLIC CHURCH WITH DEMON STATUES (AKA NATURE SPIRITS, I LOVE U SPIRITS OF THE FORESTS) AND, WHO MADE THE DAVINCI CODE, WHICH IS REAL UNLIKE UR FAKE BIBLE CODES OMIGOD LAME WHO ARE U FOOLING WITH THAT STUFF?) You Can read all about this in Abraham Lincoln’s “Holy Grail” or something like that. Have fun r

IN CONCLUSION WITCHCRAFT: SCORE 1 (WINNING!) CHRISTIANITY: DISPROVED.

Well, that’s all people, I just wanted you to know that Ann Coulter is a bad person, and, that, we, ummmm, wow, there is this really cute girl outside my window walking bi, it’s so distracting me from finishing my thoughts. TTYLaterzzzzzzzzzz. BI!

omigod no people the secret police in those ugly white cars with no paint is stopping me, i knew i shun’t have been blogging while driving : (

please use your combined intentions to make them go away *wishes*

i plan to write songs tomorrow people please come back to morrow to listen to them, biiiiiiiiiiii