sport, brumbies

I have just been educated on how to buckle a seatbelt low and tight across my waist, and have been informed that I have a lifejacket under my armrest. Considering we are going to be spending most of our flight to South Africa about 10,000 metres above sea level, I can't help but feel a parachute may be more beneficial in an emergency. But I guess the lifejacket will have to suffice and the whistle may come in handy if I get bored seconds before plummeting into the earth at a rate of knots. The South African trip is a highlight every year. The opportunity to experience a country that is deeply in love with the game of rugby and boasts some of the superior stadiums in the world is extremely exciting. Just as arousing to me is the African mentality around food. Not a second look is given in this country for casually strolling around a shopping centre gnawing at a piece of dried game meat the size of your hand. This should be encouraged more readily in Australia. I feel that if Healthy Harold endorsed Aussie kids to swap the five fruits a day for five serves of animal protein per day - the results would prove beneficial to Wallaby front-row stocks in years to come. If it hasn't previously had a heartbeat, it is not worth eating. This is the general consensus in South Africa, and probably doesn't come as much of a surprise once you have seen the size of most inhabitants of this country. Brumbies teammate Etienne Oosthuizen is no exception. I was one of the lucky few who saw him attack the buffet for breakfast. Five steaks, topped with mince and ham, with a side of eggs. Aussie kids, take note! If you are garnishing your meat with meat, you are doing something right. We can not expect young Australian front-rowers to survive on a diet of fruit and vegetables. Trust me, spinach does not make you strong, it makes you a winger. Under no circumstances is a salad or soup a main course. Tofu doesn't count, get beef or chicken. I've never seen a healthy vegetarian. Any serving of meat under 500 grams is an entree not a meal. Remember, the most important meal is the next one. These few simple rules provide a solid grounding for aspiring front-rowers. There is a message here parents: regularly feed your children steak and they will grow up to be happy and healthy props. Throw in perhaps some scrummaging and mauling footage instead of play school, replace lullabies with the repetition of the words ''crouch, touch, set'' and your child will be destined for greatness. Dan Palmer plays prop for the Brumbies.

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