Two words: Vaginal Knitting.

Three letters: WTF

Four first thoughts: Do I have to? Does it hurt? I only crochet. Knit…like mittens?

Casting from her womb (literally), artist/activist Casey Jenkins is hooping yarn up her nether regions and knitting from it. For her entire menstrual cycle of 28 days. Yes. The wool is tugged out of her body as she quietly knits what looks like a very long blood stained scarf.

I fear not the vagina. I have one. I came out of one. I have birthed from mine. Honestly, I am not even one bit repulsed by her performance. I want to think I’m an evolved feminist, an emotional artist. I want to be present and mature. However, I’m about to go four year old on this idea.

What I worry about is people trying this at home. It has all the components to trend amongst crafters and cat ladies. If this new idea hits mainstream it will get totally out of hand.

We all have that weird single aunt. You know the one. She will take this to an uncomfortable place. Every Christmas it will be a new sweater. She’ll spin out dish cloths and tea cozies to hand out with homemade labels. She’ll call her brand Womb Weaves. You’ll throw it in a drawer with the cooter coasters, and beaver beret you got last year.

Just wait until the Stitch and Bitchers get wind of this. They’ve been waiting for something new and avante guard to make them cool again. Walking into a cafe, looking like they have to poop, but it’s just the ball of twine trying to keep it’s place. Sitting in a circle to bitch I assume, they would purl out their birds until the end was near. And if they are a close group (would have to be) someone suggests making a joint piece. A blanket of sorts, for a tour. To support their art.

None of this sounds healthy for our girl parts. Yarn is all dry and scratchy. If you’re a beginner knitter you may spend all day trying to finish. How long is too long to hoop wool? What if your a perfectionist and drop a bunch of stitches. Are you going to re-insert after it’s hit the air? There is so much to think about. I worry because most people start projects and never finish. What if you only get one menstrual mitten done? You need both for the story.

Could this be a new way of announcing pregnancy? Wrapping up your full cycled scarf with NO blood on it! Congrats.! We will start knitting bush booties!!!

I can’t imagine the inconvenience of such a commitment. Twenty-eight days straight. What if I got invited for lunch. My friend comes to pick me up and I’m looking for a bag to hold my work in while keeping the wool inside my womb. My friend is speechless because she doesn’t comprehend why I have the world’s longest tampon string hanging out of my skirt and I’m not bothered. She just leaves. And I’m left hungry but happy in a weird way that I can finish today’s ball.

What I absolutely know; what we all are thinking, is no matter how crafty or talented, whatever you make is going to stink.