But they are comfortable talking to me, and here's what I've found over the years ...

The stereotype goes that when it comes to sex, men are as simple-minded as dogs. ("Come on, we all know guys are only after one thing!") Well, as someone with a few years' experience as a dominatrix and phone sex operator, I'm here to tell you that could not possibly be more wrong. Male desire ranges from the merely kinky to the incredibly bizarre, and men are often so tortured by it that they're not comfortable talking to anyone about it -- not their closest friends, and certainly not their wives.

5 Certain Fantasies Are Way, Way More Common Than You'd Think

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Before becoming a professional phone sex operator and in-person ball crusher, I knew that men thought about sex a lot -- but I didn't realize just how deep and creative their fantasies could be. Inside every pervert beats the heart of a Tolstoy.

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And sometimes they want to be beat with War and Peace.

Phone sex isn't cheap, at least good phone sex isn't, and in-person dom sessions can at the high end cost as much as a used car. So the vast majority of my clientele are upper-middle-class guys in their 40s to 60s -- I have a slew of doctors, lawyers, professors, business executives, and even a minister or two, all of whom have elaborate fantasy worlds they seem to use as a kind of relief valve to alleviate some of the stress of their high-power positions. I'm just the Sherpa that guides them through their kink.

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For instance, one thing that hit me about this job is the insane amount of men who fantasize about being feminized and humiliated, or forced to cross dress. Men cross-dress for a ton of different reasons, but the most surprising thing is just how incredibly common it is. In my daily life, I find myself looking at guys' asses to check for panty lines. And I find them, constantly.

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"Boyshorts, dude. Support and concealment."

I'd also say about 75 percent of my callers have homosexual-type fantasies, a lot of whom hate that they have them. I had a caller the other day get freaked out that he was getting so turned on by the thought of getting down on his knees and sucking his girlfriend's (fantasy) cock. He hung up, then called back to apologize. I had to tell him that fantasizing about a dick in your mouth doesn't necessarily make you gay ("Honey, calm down. Most cultures consider the phallus a symbol of power. You may just get really turned on about submitting to your girlfriend").

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If that makes it sound like what I do is more a form of therapy than a sexual outlet, well, it's both. But we'll come back to that in a moment ...