New Yorker writer Helen Rosner took to Twitter on Monday to ladysplain to you dumb, helpless dudes how you can be better feminists and better support the women in your lives. Hey, men of America – let’s break down your “awakening” point by point…I’ll help.

If you're a man unsure of what to do to support women right now in your daily life (beyond, like, not sexually harassing us), some starting points: — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

Clearly most of you men have not thought a lot about supporting your wives and daughters beyond, “Whelp, I guess I won’t sexually harass them. That’s a thing I could not do.”

1. Overcome your own transphobia. Trans women are women. Accept the lived truth of NB and GNC people, whether or not they are women. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

That’s right. Affirm those men who tell women what the definition of a woman is and isn’t. #Forward

2. Be pro-choice and be vocal in support of reproductive rights. (And generous! Give to @abortionfunds) Understand that the opposite of reproductive choice is forced childbearing. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

There are two choices in this world for a woman – abortion or forced child bearing. I mean, have you ever heard of a pro-life woman????? Get on board, cavemen! You’re either pro-choice or anti-woman, and if anyone knows it’s Helen. She lives in New York after all. Can you all just be more New York? It’s where all the smart people live.

3. Support subsidized birth control. Support nontaxed menstrual products. Ask your workplace if tampons and pads are free. Get over your embarrassment about menstruation. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

What? You’re embarrassed to ask your boss if she’ll put tampons in the girl’s room? It’s not like she’s going to think you’re some kind of Harvey Weinstein for asking for free tampons. It’s totally normal. Get over it!

4. Vocally advocate at your workplace for longer and more egalitarian paid parental leave, whether or not parenthood is part of your life. Advocate for lactation spaces. Advocate for on-site or subsidized childcare. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

Subsidize all the things!

5. Tell your elected officials that you are a man who votes and you prioritize women's issues when you decide who to vote for. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

Don’t prioritize the issues that matter to you as an individual, father, employee, employer, citizen, taxpayer or any other important role you might have in your community. Prioritize genitals and make sure your elected official knows it! Chances are he sees women the same way you do – as walking vaginas.

5a. Actually prioritize women's issues when you decide who to vote for. Understand that women's issues are your issues. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

Just to reiterate – do not ever think of your own interests when voting. Or any black man’s interest or Asian guy’s interest or animal right’s interests. Women are all that matters. How many times do we have to explain this to you?

6. Whenever you are in a group of only men (social, work, church, etc.) ask yourself why. Then ask out loud why. Force an honest answer. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

But I think we already know the answer…you’re in a gay club.

7. Cultivate genuine, intimate, nonsexual friendships with women. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

I know it’s a revelation to so many of you who have never met a woman you didn’t want to sexually harass, as men are wont to do being natural-born predators and all.

8. Seek out women to be your heroes and mentors. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

You know, strong women who aren’t afraid to slut-shame rape victims…people like Hillary Clinton and Whoopi Goldberg. Nothing says “I support women” more clearly than making sure the only legitimate claims of sexual abuse are the ones made against people who aren’t Bill Clinton.

9. Any time you see a building, street, institution, etc. named for a man, see how long it takes you to spot another one named for a woman. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

Like Helen and her highly demanding job of typing words on the computer, you have the time and the energy to do this…so do it!

10. Ask yourself what you don't do, for whatever reason, that you also think of as something women tend to do. (Sew? Send birthday cards? Care about skincare?) Try doing it for a while. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

Heh.

11. Talk less. In all spaces. At all times. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

No, you shut up. No, YOU shut up! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

12. When you need support, reach out to men as well as women. Create a culture of openness around yourself. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

But try to avoid manspreading.

13. Consume media marketed to women. Don't perform your consumption. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

Sex and the City is for guys too, you know!

14. Deprogram your beliefs about thinness being an optimal state of feminine beauty. Deprogram your beliefs that your desire matters. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

Not attracted to women with penises? Transphobe. Not attracted to overweight women? Fatphobe. Try not to be attracted to attractive women. Think of dead kittens and lonely millennials who write for the New Yorker.

15. Jerk off without porn for a while. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

Because everyone knows literally every single dude can only jerk off to porn. All men watch porn. It’s science, obvs.

16. Learn about racism and intersectionality, and do everything you can to empower and amplify black women and nbwoc — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

Intersectionality…got it?

17. Befriend children. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

Jerk off to them for a while instead of the porn. See if it makes you a better person.

18-infinity. Please add more! I've got to go do other things now. — Helen Rosner (@hels) October 16, 2017

Helen is now off to write her next twitter column, “How to Use a Fork”.