HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday. “Man, I definitely ran out here for something important, but, for the life of me, I have no idea what is was,” Hinch reportedly said to himself while staring at the ground and quickly running through a mental checklist of everything that might have been on his mind over the past few innings as starting pitcher Dallas Keuchel quietly stared at him. “The fastball is looking fine. The offspeed stuff has been good. The pitch count is low and there aren’t any baserunners. Christ, now I feel like a fucking idiot for stopping the game just for this.” At press time, a flustered Hinch had reportedly returned to his seat in the dugout only to realize he had accidentally taken the pitcher’s ball with him.

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