So. Cena vs. Orton.

"Sir, that'll be $9.99. Sir..."

Seriously. Cena vs. Orton!Oy. Well, at least crazy Dean "In A Box" Ambrose was back to liven things up. We all knew Ambrose was booked for this RAW specifically. And we had strong suspicions that he'd show up at Night of Champions in some capacity. But then once the news broke on Saturday that Reigns had undergone emergency hernia surgery and wouldn't be at NOC, it was almost certain that the WWE's Now You See Dean would show up.Ambrose and Rollins have been the best thing about the WWE for three months now. Reigns is okay. It's only September, but he's nowhere near being close to taking on Lesnar at 'Mania. While Ambrose vs. Lesnar would get ALL OF MY MONEY right this very instant. Also, it was weird hearing Reigns say the word "belly button" from his hospital bed. Not sure why. Maybe because I wanted him to say "bellee dat button." Or maybe because I think his best promo option - still! - is to use his high-pitched Paul Bearer impersonation voice.But Ambrose is freakin' aces. And I'm actually torn about whether or not I should care about the fact that him showing up in that box at the end of RAW made no logical sense.I mean, he must have tunneled out of the closet so that he could and them came up through a hole in the arena floor, right? Shawshank-style. Hiding his decades of chiseling behind a Raquel Welch poster...

Because that "box" had no bottom to it. It would have been impossible for The Authority to plant it there without them knowing Dean was under it. Because it was just a cover. So the only explanation right now is that Dean tunneled up under it and removed all the cinder blocks and crept up inside of it. Which still wouldn't be the craziest thing to happen last night when you consider the insane suit Michael Cole was wearing. He was like a Dick Tracy villain. All of a sudden Snaps Provolone was on commentary.So yeah I'm torn. Because I sort of want to just see Dean pop out of places that no human being could ever actually physically hide inside. The giant human-sized present was a good start, but it was obviously meant to pack a Dean. Let's get nuts. Let him jump out of a tray of baked ziti over in catering. Maybe he can leap out of Michael Hayes' fanny pack.I guess, in the end, I'm just sad we didn't get a Die Hard air duct scene out of the whole situation.By the way, who gave John McClane that particular invite? It couldn't have been his semi-estranged wife, Holly. Was it Captain "Cappy" Roberts who retired to Pomona? Sure, that works. Since John was going to crash at his place. But John was also specifically going to L.A. for Christmas. To be with his family. Is that the way Cappy invites people out for an important family holiday? And man... did Cappy think John was going to spend Christmas day with him? That's so sad. Does Cappy have family of his own? Also, Pomona is in Southern California, but it's not that close to the coastline. These are the important questions, people!Oh yeah. Wrestling. So Lesnar was nowhere to be seen last night. Which was fine. And expected. But no Heyman there? To gloat? To somehow spin the ending of that NOC match into something wonderful that I'll buy? Because that s*** was a steaming mess. I don't mind a non-finish if they didn't want Cena to take a second PPV fall, but at the end they booked Cena too strong and Lesnar too weak. To the point where the story, as it stands, is that Cena would have beaten Lesnar if Rollins hadn't interfered. Which would be fine and dandy if Lesnar was just a cheating heel type. But I thought the idea here was that Brock didn't have to cheat to win. That he could just run you over like a truck.

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