As I wandered around a strange, dusty, mysterious city of tents and infectious creativity come to life, I was puzzled. What is this place? How does it work? I notice a full-length bar out of the corner of my eye, with a sign saying “Bloody Marys” prominently displayed. I decide to mosey over and check it out as I know money is not used at Burning Man, and I have a dialogue with the bartender that goes something like this:

Me: “So…how does this work?”

Bartender: “Tell me a joke.”

Me: “Ok…what’s a dentist’s favorite time? 2:30…get it…tooth-hurtey. Ok but seriously, this doesn’t seem fair. I just had to tell a stupid joke, and you’re giving both your time and money. This doesn’t balance out.”

Bartender: “Man…all this booze was donated at some point or another. That joke was better than most I’ve heard…welcome to Burning Man.”

I sat there sipping my bloody mary, thinking to myself “Alright, I can get down with this.” As I went throughout my day, I was amazed at all the contributions these communities made to make this experience what it is. Whether it’s a lingerie and french toast party, a Taylor Swift Sing-Along, a bacon tasting extravaganza, an insane DJ set at sunrise, or an “Orgasmic Meditation” class (not gonna lie, I totally went to this out of curiosity); there is something for everyone. And it’s all free. Even more importantly, nobody is paid to do it. These events and services are provided by “burners”; simply people attending the festival like myself who want to contribute to the experience.

The question I’ve most often received from people who learn about my little adventure is “What is Burning Man? Is it like a music festival?” It’s a question I have difficulty answering in a few short sentences. When they ship you your ticket for Burning Man, they attach a beefy booklet to educate you on how to prepare and on what Burning Man is all about. Front and center in this guide are the “Ten Principles” which evolved organically throughout the years of holding the festival, which truly define what the festival is all about and I highly recommend checking out. To provide a summary, Burning Man is an experimental community where all people are truly seen and treated as equal, and civic responsibility is encouraged and expected. It truly is amazing to see how well the system works in this small microcosm of humanity, and most importantly, how everyone is beaming with gratitude for being able to participate in such an incredible experiment.

When you arrive into the gates, the gate attendee rips your ticket and says “Welcome home.” Soon after, you begin to understand the meaning of those words. Burning Man takes place in the most challenging of environments, with insane dust storms where you can’t see two feet in front of your face (called “White-outs”) and temperature swings that can go into the 90’s during the day to the 30’s at night…it is not an experience to take lightly. Despite these conditions however, people are beaming and their happiness, kindness, and graciousness are simply infectious. Many of the burners work all year on art installations that they will build and tear down a week later. Many burners walk around completely naked, or as I found out on “Tutu Tuesday”, men and women alike wear tutus around the festival to embrace a place where individual freedom and expression are not only tolerated, but encouraged. Burners take a handshake as an insult and insist on hugs. At Burning Man, when someone calls you weird, you say “thank you” and wish them a great day.

Yes, there’s an orgy dome if that’s your thing. Yes, there are more drugs consumed here than probably any other city in America. Yes, there are late night DJ sets to get wild and dance your face off. That’s the type of experience that most people think of when they hear the words “Burning Man”. But what you may not hear about are the more raw and somber elements of the festival. The “Temple”, as it is called, is constructed with a new design every year. It is one of two enormous wooden structures (along with “The Man”) that are seen as cornerstones of the festival, with The Man being burned down on Saturday and the Temple being burned down on Sunday, signifying the end of the festival. When I wandered over to the Temple the second night of the festival, I assumed I was just going to see an ornate structure and admire its craftsmanship. What I got instead was much, much more.

As I peered inside, I noticed a lot of markings, etchings, posters, and various other displays of memorials, eulogies, and testimonies. I quickly realized that burners had come here to pay their respects for those they loved and lost. As I pored over the various writings, I became reduced to tears seeing how much pain, love, and sorrow was being reflected in this place. I stayed for close to an hour, realizing how many people have made an impact on people’s lives. It’s hard not to wonder…what will people write about me, if they decide to write anything at all? I begin to think I should visit home more, because life is so terribly fleeting. Later in the week I meet a fellow burner who tells me that during the Temple burn, the entire city is so still and quiet you can hear a pin drop. I unfortunately was unable to stay to experience this, but I can only imagine how it affects those witnessing it. The Temple was something that stood out to me…it made me realize that Burning Man is not just a place to escape and party or a new way to live…it’s an appreciation of life and art, and a respect for the fact that it’s all temporary.

Alright so Burning Man was cool, but you may be wondering if it can transform your life outside of the festival. I met people that learned a craft or skill as a result of wanting to find a way to contribute to the community, and many of them found out they became so good at what they learned that they opened businesses to offer that product or service on the market. While that is impressive in and of itself, what I will take back with me is inspiration. Inspiration in the sense that I no longer see humanity in such a jaded light. None of us are perfect, but we are all good people at heart, and I truly believe that and have seen it. Hate isn’t natural. Love is natural. We have to delude ourselves to hate. Hate is nothing more than erecting walls between ourselves and others that don’t exist, all to appease our ego’s lust for dominance and our aversion to our own insecurities. At Burning Man, you will absolutely find people who disagree on, say, economic policy or belief in a higher power. What you will absolutely not find, however, are people who are homophobic. Or racist. Or sexist. Here, love knows no bounds, and everyone recognizes the common thread of humanity that flows through all of us. Here, you are not your paycheck. You are not your job, your car, your house, or your clothes. Here, you are seen not as your external value to society but as your internal soul that is at the same time unique and beautiful but also no better than anyone else. Deep inside, we’re all equal…and we all know this, but we find ways to rationalize the notion that we’re better than others.

Let’s say you make more money than someone else. Our ego wants to convince us that it’s because we deserve that money…that we’ve worked harder than other people, studied harder in school than other people, and that those that are more unfortunate deserve their circumstances. What our ego doesn’t like us to remember, however, is that we are simply products of our genetics and environment. I would not have many of the luxuries I have in life or gotten many of the opportunities I’ve had without my parents instilling virtues in me and providing me with a loving, caring upbringing. And hell, being born in middle class America didn’t hurt either. When you keep following that rabbit hole, you find that you are hardly responsible for your circumstances. This understanding yields boundless love and empathy towards those around you, and transforms how we see the world around us. This is the burner mentality that I take with me throughout my life, and one that I can only hope people experience for themselves in this beautiful, dusty, weird world we call Burning Man.

“Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.” – Alexander Smith