LOS ANGELES — There's really no polite way of putting this, so here goes: The persistent suggestion on social media and elsewhere that Sony cooked up this whole mess to transform The Interview from a middling comedy into a VOD hit is patently idiotic.

So stop thinking it. Stop it right now. Don't even post silly jokes about it because 1) You're already way late to that comedy party and 2) You're just encouraging dim-witted people to believe it.

Wait, what's that you say...? You have some theories?

Yeah, Sony is going to make millions now!

No they're not. Even if The Interview is the biggest VOD hit of all time, they are going to lose millions. Hundreds of millions. Not just on the movie, which cost roughly $100 million to make and market, but tenfold on the years-long security mop-up job and lawsuits that could quite possibly stretch on for a decade. Hundreds. Of. Millions. Gone.

But this seems like such a James Franco kind of stunt!

Oh really? James Franco convinced Sony to let hackers leak sensitive financial data, extremely sensitive personnel records and embarrassing executives' emails for the media to endlessly toy with, and mock for days? Yes, that does seem realistic.

But it could've all been fake!

Oh, gosh, we didn't think of that! So a team of hundreds of publicity employees spent months creating terabytes of false "information," including more-than-a-little-racist emails that they attributed to Sony Pictures Entertainment co-chair Amy Pascal? Oh, and how they got U.S. President Barack Obama involved in it all — we knew he was game for a laugh, but this takes the cake!

It just all seems very suspicious.

We'll give you that. Now drink this coffee, and don't drive anywhere until you've sobered up.

If you seriously still think this was a media stunt, we'd love to hear your embarrassingly wrongheaded theory in the comments, below.