What do these two wolves have to do with social anxiety?

You may have heard of this story. There is a legend of a Cherokee elder who tells of two wolves that live inside each person. These wolves fight fiercely with each other. One wolf sees the worst in the world, is mean, jealous, critical, and ill-natured. The other wolf sees the best of things and is generous, kind, peaceful, full of integrity and respect for itself and others.

According to the legend, a young child asks the elder which wolf will win the battle.

The elder replies “Whichever one you feed will win. Whichever one you feed, that is your identity.”

It seems that this parable may actually be misidentified as a Cherokee legend. And no one is really sure where this tale really came from. However, the story it tells is so very applicable to social anxiety.

Part of the pain of social anxiety is the inner voice or “self-talk” we have that is always on the attack – the “bad wolf” that criticizes our behavior, tells us people don’t like us, puts us down , insults us, tells us people are judging us negatively, no one likes us, that we are just strange, awkward and boring.

And of course what happens when we tell ourselves stuff like that? I don’t know about you but hearing all that makes me feel depressed, anxious, insecure, and lonely.

And when you are feeling like that, you behave in ways that reflect those feelings.

When you feel like you are under constant negative scrutiny, you feel sad and insecure. You walk, talk and interact in ways that are hesitant, unsure and careful.

You are very unlikely to express yourself boldly, to share who you are or to greet another person with a joyful, open friendly smile.

And as a result, you may not come across as a happy, friendly person. You might be coming across as a person who wants to be left alone, or who is fearful, angry or meek.

You can see how the whole situation becomes a vicious circle. All due to the negative voice inside our heads.

That’s why one of the key things we need to work on when overcoming social anxiety is to uncover the lies that the “bad wolf” is spreading. We work on identifying specific thoughts and beliefs that are negative and untrue. We examine them and figure out a more realistic, healthier view of ourselves.

We start to gently teach ourselves to focus on the things about ourselves that are far more positive and realistic. And we begin to let those mean spirited, cruel, self-critical thoughts drift away. We start to learn how to “feed the good wolf”.

Want to learn more? Go to www.SocialConfidenceTraining.com for information on social confidence coaching, workshops and training programs.

Tell me what you think. Send me an email. Jenna at SocialConfidenceTraining.com I'd love to know your thoughts.

Does this match your experiences?

Have you ever harnessed the power described?

Here's your PDF copy the same cool but short story of two wolves and how it is all about social anxiety.

Jenna :)