I only wish I were kidding (second tweet):

x The My Pillow guy Mike Lindell says this: "God gave us grace on November 8, 2016, to change the course we were on. God had been taken out of our schools & lives, a nation had turned its back on God. I encourage you to use this time at home to get back in the word. Read our Bible" pic.twitter.com/tRdlubE08u — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) March 30, 2020

MIKE LINDELL, CEO, MY PILLOW: “God gave us grace on November 8, 2016, to change the course we were on. God had been taken out of our schools and lives. A nation had turned its back on God. And I encourage you to use this time at home to get back in the Word. Read our Bibles and spend time with our families. Our president gave us so much hope, where just a few short months ago we had the best economy, the lowest unemployment, and wages going up. It was amazing. With our great president, vice president, and this administration and all the great people in this country praying daily, we will get through this and get back to a place that’s stronger and safer than ever.” TRUMP: “I did not know he was going to do that, but he’s a friend of mine, and I do appreciate it.”

I can’t help but think that time would have been better spent telling me where I can find that website Trump promised would be “very quickly done, unlike websites of the past.” Where is it? Maybe I want to find a testing site. Should I just drive to random Walmarts until I see someone vigorously swabbing orifices?

But I suppose Trump thinks this valuable time is far better spent rolling out the ass-kissing brigade, handing out millions of dollars’ worth of free advertising, and scolding the country for not being Christian enough.

I feel like America is unifying a bit more with every moment that passes. How about you?

I just have to ask: If we turned our backs on God while Obama was president, why did God wait until more than three years into Trump’s term to send the plague? That doesn’t really support Lindell’s argument, now does it?

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.