Fraser Anning: Bradman Caused Bodyline

Incendiary Queensland Senator Fraser Anning has again raised community ire, this time by blaming Don Bradman for “forcing” English players to bowl bodyline in the 1932-33 Ashes series. Many Australian players were injured and England subsequently won the series 4-1.

“Where you have a dominant batsman like that it’s just natural that you get escalations in short-pitched bowling, leg-side fields, violence, terrorist attacks, people not replacing toilet paper rolls, bubblegum under desks, and reunion albums from classic bands that only serve to tarnish their legacies. As far as I’m concerned that’s just a statement of fact.”

“The only sensible response from the Government can be to immediately ban golf balls, water tanks and stumps. I don’t think many people will be surprised that we import a lot of these implements from foreign countries, some of which are Muslim.”

The Senator concluded by making several insinuations about New Zealand’s role in bringing about the underarm ball incident.