As you’re no doubt aware — and have been for some time — Cory Booker is incredibly annoying. But did you know he’s also painfully, hilariously square? Writer Anna Fitzpatrick took one for the team and went back through some of Booker’s previously unsung greatest hits, and boy, did she find some gems.

Stay for the whole thread. I promise you it is worth it. https://t.co/m0iVNmqh2J — Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) March 18, 2019

It really is:

we should vet every presidential candidate but digging up their tweets from 2009 is a low blow. every tweet from 2009 is bad. — Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) March 18, 2019

this is what im talking about https://t.co/Y2GsK1hGEr — Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) March 18, 2019

"Sleep" and I broke up a few nights ago. I'm dating "Coffee" now. She's Hot! — Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) May 29, 2009

wait this one is from 2017 its fair game https://t.co/4dWZnyaCXe — Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) March 18, 2019

I broke up with sleep last night and I’m dating coffee this morning. . . I appreciate her warmth and stimulating company. https://t.co/UgQw3IUbWt — Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) December 2, 2017

Sleep and I broke up. I'm dating Coffee now, She is hot. RT @adamvanho Senator, I have to ask: do you ever sleep?!?! — Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) January 1, 2015

Sleep and I broke up again. I'm back with coffee. She is hot. RT @jmryan2010: You just never sleep, do you, sir?? — Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) February 2, 2013

I had another fight with sleep. We broke up again. So I'm back with coffee now. She is hot. RT @soozscott: Mr Mayor, do you ever sleep? — Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) June 30, 2012

Sleep and I broke up tonight. I'm now dating coffee. She is hot RT @ellesep I have a date with my bed tonight. — Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) April 20, 2012

2009, again off limits https://t.co/QvB5UTXP6F — Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) March 18, 2019

Had a another fight with "sleep" tonight. I left her & I'm hanging out with my smoldering love "coffee" – & tonight she is smoking hot — Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) November 30, 2009

Mean 'ole "Sleep" left me for another dude / I'm with "Coffee" now she's got a stimulating attitude RT @Gman1208 Mayor, do u ever sleep? — Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) August 13, 2010

"Sleep" & I are fighting again. So I'm hanging out with my old love "Coffee". She is so hot RT @samilsimsek: Mr. Booker, do you ever sleep? — Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) July 1, 2011

Had fight with "Sleep". She's so uncooperative. I'm hanging with "Coffee" now. She's so sweet & very hot RT @bhdosef: Do u ever sleep Mayor? — Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) May 12, 2012

"Sleep" and I broke up again tonight. I'm finding comfort with my new special friend "coffee" – she is hot. — Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) May 28, 2010

Sleep & I have irreconcilable differences. We separated. I'm dating my tall, hot, sweet nu friend coffee MT @ellesep I feel like u nvr sleep — Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) September 23, 2012

Dear God.

please dont unfollow me on twitter, rosario dawson. — Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) March 18, 2019

Snort.

omg this thread — Kevin Nguyen (@knguyen) March 18, 2019

i was trying to defend him but then i did a search for "cory booker sleep coffee" — Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) March 18, 2019

Some stuff just cannot be defended.

Unfair. This isn't really grounds to criticize Booker — Joseph Lawler (@josephlawler) March 18, 2019

Well, it’s sure as hell grounds to make fun of him!

Cory Booker cracked the same sad joke for 10 consecutive years. Nice. — Kayla Moore VanHoose (@kaylamoore) March 18, 2019

This thread is hilarious https://t.co/C9aK6OlBzy — Yashar Ali ? (@yashar) March 18, 2019

ok i'm dying — that guy, always wore a shirt (@Darph_Nader) March 18, 2019

I fell over laughing. — Richard Willis (@elephande) March 18, 2019

Parting food coffee for thought:

I mean if this is Twitter, imagine how many times he's said it when he walks into the office over the last 10 years. — Douglas Fir (@DouglasFir33) March 18, 2019

We can only imagine.