When I started doing heroin and other opioids in 2004, I never imagined that it would take thousands of dollars and a trip to Guatemala to finally break free from drugs seven years later. By that point, I had tried 12-step programs and quit cold turkey countless times, only to start again a short time later. My parents had spent a lot of money sending me to rehab after rehab. Nothing worked.

Most rehab programs take a one-size-fits-all approach. Either you submit to the system or you're guaranteed to end up in jail or dead. There's no middle ground or room for personal exploration. That philosophy never resonated with me, so I could not connect with the 12-step program. I would relapse every time.

In large doses, ibogaine induces a psychedelic state, and some people see visions."

But ibogaine is different because it addresses the biochemical issues that rehab and 12-step programs don't, and is said to "reset" serotonin and dopamine receptors which, in the case of opioid addicts, have been damaged by years of drug abuse. It also reduces about 80 percent of the withdrawal symptoms, like vomiting, sweats and body aches, usually associated with coming off opioids.

Ibogaine is a substance extracted from the bark of the root of the African shrub iboga and while it's illegal in the U.S., it has been used in healing and initiation rituals for thousands of years. In large doses, it induces a dream-like state, and some people have visions.

I called a number of different clinics around the world that administer ibogaine legally and decided on a clinic in Guatemala City. I felt a personal connection with the guy I spoke to on the phone there. He asked a lot of questions about me and listened carefully to what I had to say. My mom paid for the nearly $4,000 treatment and for my airfare.

Clockwise from left: Juliana's mugshot after her arrest for shoplifting in 2006. The iboga plant. Ibogaine powder extracted from the root of the iboga plant. Clockwise from left: Mugshots.com, Wiki Commons, Wiki Commons

Before I decided to try ibogaine, I had been living in Colombia, South America, with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I had been off drugs for about six months before I moved there, but in Colombia the anxiety and depression I'd always had was enhanced by the circumstances—I was having issues in my relationship and I felt isolated in a country where I didn't speak the language well.

"When my addiction was at its worst, I took oxycontin, heroin, Methadone, morphine, fentanyl—whatever I could get my hands on."

Opioids, like morphine and fentanyl, were the only thing that gave me relief from my inner pain. I felt like I needed to be sedated just to get through the day. I was hiding my drug use from my boyfriend. I barely ate, and when I did, my diet consisted only of ice cream. I lost tons of weight. My life had become a series of dramatic events. So many people were upset with me.

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO TAKE IBOGAINE

In November 2011, I checked into the clinic in Guatemala City and the clinicians started my ibogaine treatment the next day. Every clinic does things a little differently—some adhere to strict medical protocol with trained staff and machines monitoring your vital signs; others do things according to a west African religious tradition. The clinic I went to was of the medical model.

Over the next two or three hours, I was given several capsules containing ibogaine powder. Pretty quickly after I took the first dose, I fell into a dream-like state in between waking and sleeping.

In one of my visions, the room I was in at the clinic transformed into a medical examination room, but it was crumbling. I had a vision in which I was alone and hooked up to various wires and devices. I started pulling them out of me and I climbed down off an examination table. I went to the window and when I looked out I saw a decaying, post-apocalyptic city.

When you're going through heavy drug addiction like I was, there's a lot of negative energy around you. You feel really weighed down with guilt, shame, and hopelessness. That's what my vision was about—it symbolized me finally removing some of the negative energy that I'd been carrying around for more than a decade.

"Taking ibogaine is not easy, physically or psychologically."

During the treatment, I vomited a couple of times, which is fairly common. An aide had to help me to the bathroom because I completely lost my sense of balance. Taking ibogaine is not an easy experience, physically or psychologically. A lot of times the visions bring your past traumas and buried emotions to the forefront and you're forced to deal with them.

Unfortunately, the clinic that I chose was not abiding by many of the safety protocols that I now know need to be followed. Ibogaine can be dangerous because it can cause a low pulse rate and even cardiac arrest. People have died during treatment. In the U.S. there are people doing "underground" treatments in homes and hotel rooms, which can be even more dangerous because there's no doctor present.

In Guatemala, they gave me too high of a dose of ibogaine and my heart developed an irregular rhythm. Even though a doctor was present at the clinic, I suffered six cardiac arrests and ended up in the ICU in Guatemala for two weeks. As I learned later, what happened to me was completely avoidable had they used proper safety protocols. Thankfully, I haven't had any heart issues since then.

MY NEW LIFE

I woke up in the hospital knowing that ibogaine had worked for me. My cravings for opioids were pretty much gone, and I haven't felt tempted. That was five years ago and I haven't touched drugs or alcohol since then.

After my treatment, I felt like I had a purpose in life. I wanted to spread the word about ibogaine and help keep people safe in clinics that administered it. I moved to San Francisco and got my EMT certification, and I took some classes to learn more about the heart. Then I worked in ibogaine clinics in South Africa, Costa Rica and Mexico.

Left: Juliana with Dr. Andrew Tatarsky, a leader in the harm reduction movement. Right: Juliana moderating a panel on ibogaine in Mexico. Courtesy Juliana Mulligan

In 2015, I moved to New York City to pursue a master's degree to become a therapist. I want to work with people struggling with addiction. I still work with ibogaine through an organization called the Global Ibogaine Therapy Alliance (GITA), which has published guidelines for clinics and treatments providers.

My advice for anyone considering taking ibogaine is to go to a clinic that has a doctor on staff, uses heart monitoring equipment and is located near a hospital. If you must use underground treatment (if you can't leave the country for legal reasons or don't have the financial resources to travel) choose someone with a lot of experience administering ibogaine, and who uses a pulse monitor and has a defibrillator and CPR certification.

I'm very grateful to have found ibogaine when I did. The way that ibogaine initiated the healing process of my brain chemistry allowed me to let go of much of the shame and guilt I felt after years of addiction. Being able to skip the majority of the withdrawal is nothing short of a miracle. Usually this process goes on for months and it's incredibly difficult to stay away from drugs because of the constant pain and sickness that you feel. I'm convinced that ibogaine is the future for opiate dependency treatment and I think it has the potential to help those with other substance dependencies and even those suffering from depression or PTSD.

When I hear about or see people who struggle with opioid addiction, I can't help but reach out. I messaged a heroin addict on Facebook just the other day and asked her if she knew about ibogaine. I'll do that in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. I'm just very passionate about it. There's such a lack of good information about how people can get help. I want to spread the word about alternative treatments like ibogaine.