There’s so much wrong with Arrow Season 5 Episode 6, “So It Begins,” that I don’t even know where to begin – pun not intended.

I could focus on the total and complete annihilation of Felicity Smoak, my favorite character – and a role model for little girls everywhere. I could probably write an essay about how this woman used to be one of the best developed female characters on TV (wait, I have!) and yet that Felicity is nowhere to be found these days.

Now she’s been reduced to batting her eyelashes at her boyfriend to get information out of him, making puns and looking pretty in dresses while spouting some marginally useful information.

I could focus on the fact that they relegated Diggle to the wise black-friend-who-can-get-our-titular-hero-to-see-the-light role, when he used to be a three-dimensional character with his own struggles, and a distinct personality.

I could focus on the fact that they expect me to care for the team of little brats that Oliver and Felicity recruited, even though they have given me no actual reason to. They’ve just told me I should.

Repeatedly.

I could focus on Thea, except, why would I do that? She’s so boring as to be a nonentity this season. Literally all I’ve said about her in my six reviews so far has been that I like her clothes, that’s how interesting she is.

Or, I could focus on the fact that, five seasons in, they suddenly want to make Quentin Lance the bad guy. Not just any character, no, but straight as an arrow Quentin Lance. You know the one who couldn’t stand vigilantes because the end did not justify the means in his mind.

That Quentin Lance.

And hey, it could be a misdirect. It probably is. But, at this point, it could also be true.

Maybe Donna isn’t even alive. Maybe instead of breaking up with her he killed her, cut her up in pieces Hannibal style and ate her.

What? That’s about as likely as anything else that’s happened this season.

Of course, I could also focus on Oliver Queen, our so called hero. And I use that term loosely, because, despite Diggle’s pep-talk about how much he’s changed, all I see is the man from season 1 – or even the man from the conveniently placed flashbacks.

The man who liked to make decisions for other people, the one who didn’t know how to admit he needed help, the one who didn’t know how to be a hero in the light.

Heck, the one who didn’t even know where the light was.

Newsflash: the whole gruff but brotherly vibe doesn’t work unless people actually get that you care. You’d think Oliver Queen would have learned that one by now.

But then again, you’d think the writers would have known better than to write these people that we’ve come to know and love the way they’re writing them. And you’d also be wrong about that.

I don’t know what this show is – but I’m about ready to stop calling it Arrow. In my mind, Arrow, the show I loved, ended about a season ago, in the loft, with Oliver admitting to Barry that he was happy. Back when I still loved these characters.

Back when I still felt hope and joy and pain.

What do I feel now? Nothing. I’ve gone through the five stages of grief and I’m firmly in acceptance mode.

I wonder what comes next.

Probably turning off the TV.

Other things to note:

Literally the only thing I liked about this episode was the opening shot of Diggle and Oliver with the words So it Begins.

I’m serious. Nothing else.

It cannot possibly be Lance. It’s only episode 6. The writers are not this stupid, are they?

Are they?

The chemistry between Stephen Amell and reporter lady is minus 17. It’s so bad that the girlfriend jokes are making me cringe.

Which leads me to, Oliver and Felicity almost got married last year. MARRIED. And now they’re joking about their respective love lives like it was nothing? That’s not mature – it’s impossible under the circumstances.

Show, don’t tell. And you’ve shown me nothing, Arrow .

. Throwing star killer? Seriously? Cisco would be ashamed. So ashamed.

Curtis being all like – well, THIS type of killing is acceptable, but this OTHER type isn’t had me rolling my eyes so far backwards that I’m pretty sure they’re stuck.

If the bad guy isn’t a resurrected Tommy, then you have failed this fandom, Arrow . You really have.

. You really have. Can I erase the Felicity/Billy conversation from my mind? I’m not sure what was worse, the way his reaction sorta flip-flopped, his fangirling or the fact that she just went and told him about her “secret life” after dating him for exactly 0.2 seconds.

And if you’re going to counter with – they’ve been dating for months, I will just refer you back to the SHOW, DON’T TELL thing.

What did you think of this episode of Arrow? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Reviewer Rating:

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[Total: 10 Average: 3.4 /5]

Arrow airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on The CW.

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