HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND WELCOME TO MY FIRST FUCKIN BLOG ON HOMESTUCK AMINO, MY NAME IS HOLO$LY and holy shit am I on a time crunch, so I’m going to make my introduction quick. We're not joking around in this blog, we don't have the resources for that shit. Hi. I’m Holo. If you like Melee, I do shit on Smash Bros. Amino, but you’re not here for that, you’re here for the epilogue and whatever the hell is going on with it.

As of me typing this sentence, we have less than a week to 4/13 (probably even less time after I release this post), and still we don’t even know if the epilogue even exists. But if we’re going to get some kind of information on it, it’s going to be this week. And I’m god damn determined to figure out what’s going to happen, specifically due to some new information that I find intriguing.

Now, there's a thread on r/homestuck about what could happen on 4/13, the existence of the epilogue, and someone with supposedly a large amount of information. She’s the writer of the Lanque and Marvus routes in Friendsim, she has ties with Andrew Hussie, and I’ve gone fucking insane trying to decipher whatever scraps she’s given the good people of the Homestuck fandom to work with.

BUCKLE THE FUCK UP

THIS IS THE EPILOGUE

TABLE OF CONTENTS

:question: The AMA :question:

:iphone: Twitter :iphone:

🌫John Egbert🌫

:house: In Conclusion :house:

:question: :question: :question: |THE AMA| :question: :question: :question:

The person I was referring to in the intro is someone you are probably already familiar with, V. This Reddit post documents some of the recent happenings around V. In her CuriousCat AMA, she gives out quite a few hints about the epilogue, as well as other shit concerning Homestuck…

- Hiveswap is still happening

- Cridea and Fiamet are still in Hiveswap

- Non-credits Snapchats are non-canon

- Viz has been good to What Pumpkin

As well as other things alluding to the epilogue…

- “What’s the funniest joke in Homestuck?” “You haven’t read it yet.”

- “What’s the worst canon ship?” “You’ll see”

Hussie has also said several other things concerning Homestuck still being an ongoing project...

“With Homestuck taking up such a big part of your life, what was it like when you finally finished it?”

“Nice try. You almost tricked me into validating the premise of your question. The ride never ends.”

So yeah, there’s a bunch of shit pointing towards the epilogue’s existence. However, there’s more than that to analyze. V also answered many different questions on specific parts of the epilogue. Well, she gave vague comments on certain questions. I mean I can’t blame her but like look at this shit...

- “Who is the best antagonist in Homestuck in your opinion?” “(REDACTED)”

- “Do you know anything about Limebloods? like perhaps what their powers looked like?” “Yeah”

- “are you allowed to say what you know abt limebloods, or is it up to our speculation still?” “Why do you want me to just tell you here instead of finding out in a way that's interesting in the story”

- “thoughts on feferi?” “She”

- “How much rosemary is there in the epilogue” “haha”

- “https://i.imgur.com/K17IUlx.png CANON” “This isn’t what happens”

- “How do you feel about davejadekat?” “I wonder how they feel about it”

- “Why didn’t the kids get a conversation or panel together?” “You’ll be excited to learn that the kids had several conversations together”

- “Is John happy?” “Would you be?”

- “Is Davekat canon?” “Yes”

- “you say davekat is canon but when will homestuck *show* it” “When indeed”

- “Where is aradia??” “Where?”

- “the homestuck kids should not be allowed to raise children (jane did fine but everyone else? no)” “Hahahahaha”

That’s quite a bit to break down, probably because everything is so god damn vague.

First, let’s go over some of the more straightforward heavy hitters. She mentions something about Limebloods being explained in “the story,” and it’s unclear if he’s referring to Homestuck or Hiveswap here. Either way, we know that this will be explained at some point.

Something else that piques my interest is the comment on Rosemary, probably implying that Rose and Kanaya simply don’t have any interaction in the epilogue, but it’s not due to the marriage not working out. The picture shows Kanaya wanting to break off the relationship, so maybe it’s Rose that wants out? Or Kanaya could have died by that point?

The kids get several conversations together, which can relate to a lot of shit found in the bingo chart.

The Davekat comment is probably the most straightforward out of all of them, practically confirming that, yes, Davekat is canon, and will show up in the epilogue at some point.

About some of the more vague ones, it’s interesting to note that V didn’t answer every question she was given...

- “(btw i advise not answering Every Single question for like. mental health. and also so you dont make anybody angry, yknow?) (have a good day)” “Again, I must reply, I am an adult”

Did she pick the Feferi, Aradia, and John questions on purpose? Maybe. Probably not. No. That’s stupid. Is it? Whatever.

However, there are two large elephants in the room here. The first one being the children question, which has the same Tyler the Creator laughs as the Rosemary question. Now, the Skaianet Systems site has its countdown set for 4/13/29 rather than 4/13/19. Maybe this is when the epilogue takes place? The kids would probably have children by that time, we’ll probably get to know them fairly well. Maybe that’s where the worst canon ship thing comes in? I’m not sure.

The second one is something that I’ll come back to later, but either way, we have a bit of a foundation for our predictions, and a pretty good launching pad for theories and such.

:iphone: :iphone: :iphone: |TWITTER| :iphone: :iphone: :iphone:

Originally this segment was going to be about V asking people what they wanted because she liked specific comments from that thread, and didn’t like others. Maybe this alludes to what the epilogue contains? The bingo card, which V said supposedly got quite a few things correct, would also be a good place to start based on our foundation.

However, the tweets that V liked simply could have been what she personally wanted for the epilogue, as there’s a lot of Gamzee and Gamtav content in there, and V is a bit of a Gamzee fan. V’s tweet about the bingo card also could have been referring to the right card with extremely safe predictions, rather than the left card with actual predictions. Maybe you could make something of that (especially considering that she tweeted this right after she liked all those replies containing what people wanted), but that’s not what I’m here to talk about today.

The likes and the bingo card are more examples of what kind of character interactions or character appearances we would be getting, but nothing has told us the general story of the epilogue. However, there’s a series of tweets which narrows down the general story possibilities immensely.

On March 29th, at 3:27 PM, V tweeted out “Send me your epilogue speculations. I probably won't reply to any of them but it'll be funny for me.” A few minutes later, at 3:30, she responds to the first tweet, saying “Tell me what you actually think is gonna happen and not just jokes I am interested. Then, at 3:39, she tweets “I got a submission that was very good and I'm just going to make this vague post about how hilariously spot on it was. Whoever sent me it can return to this post later and know that they entertained me greatly on this day.” and responds to that with “You were wrong but incredibly correct at the same time. Good job at reading Homestuck”

Here’s the thing, in any other circumstance, there would be many different possibilities to sift through… if we didn’t know the times which the tweets were posted. Using that information, we can figure out that the correct answer was definitely posted sometime between 3:27 (the time of the first tweet) and 3:39 (the time that V said that there was a hilariously spot-on prediction). We can chop down this timeframe further by including the second tweet into this (3:30), giving us a timeframe of 9-12 minutes.

This narrows down the possibilities from 88 tweets to 27. Here’s the list of tweets in response to V posted in that timeframe, completely unfiltered (skip if you want)…

Responses to the First Tweet:

Note: I can't get the hyperlinks to work for some reason so you're gonna have to deal with the raw links. If anyone can fix this glitch, please let me know.

3:28, @ttmiyh: https://twitter.com/ttmiyh/status/1111756923504857089, “john is happy”

3:28, @PitcheVirdia: https://twitter.com/PitcheVirdia/status/1111757115239079936, “The Year is 2019. April 4th. Hussie goes on Twitch in a full suit, and announces with a heavy heart that he lost the epilogue.”

3:28, @BunniiMelon: https://twitter.com/BunniiMelon/status/1111756975216439296, “its not a speculation bc i know it wont happen but aranea like. being there. existing”

3:29, @kittenchilly: https://twitter.com/kittenchilly/status/1111757266502541314, “THE FEDORAFREAK INTERMISSION SPECTACULAR”

3:28, 3:29, @Woomyofficial: https://twitter.com/Woomyofficial/status/1111757131152277504, https://twitter.com/Woomyofficial/status/1111757203936026625, “joey hiveswap falls from the sun,” “or the entire website gets deleted”

3:29, @Achranai: https://twitter.com/Achranai/status/1111757188048084992, “it comes out in 2059 for the 50th anniversary of homestuck”

3:29, @MiraAlternative: https://twitter.com/MiraAlternative/status/1111757196650520576, “Hiveswap.”

(Second tweet is posted)

3:30, @RemeleNamaaq: https://twitter.com/RemeleNamaaq/status/1111757605423202304, “john will finally be happy”

3:30, @CalumTraveler: https://twitter.com/CalumTraveler/status/1111757498610925568, “Hiveswap cast survivors on Earth C and John is happy to have new friends to entertain.”

3:31, @Plum_Pancakes: https://twitter.com/Plum_Pancakes/status/1111757756279808000, “we see dear sweet davepeta again”

3:31, @arsenicsCatnip: https://twitter.com/arsenicsCatnip/status/1111757840702734341, “Vriska”

3:31, @lanqu_e: https://twitter.com/lanqu_e/status/1111757843177316353, “epilogue speculation that it probably wont happen fnsjbxj”

3:32, @rhomestuck: https://twitter.com/rhomestuck/status/1111758061495115777, “I think it'll be a character study instead of any plot heavy stuff. I don't think it's actually going to show the fight between Caliborn and the kids? Can't really think of anything beyond that, I know what I want but Hussie is very unpredictable.”

3:32, @MikkytheHamster: https://twitter.com/MikkytheHamster/status/1111758107770843138, “Earth c ppl find a way to bring back dead trolls.”

3:33, @witchy8itch: https://twitter.com/witchy8itch/status/1111758255364046848, “my 75% serious theory is that john becomes an antagonist (but what i really Want is some resolution on vriska)”

3:34, @staplesponge: https://twitter.com/staplesponge/status/1111758578187190272, “High school reboot. Honestly. Homestuck has always been about teenagers, so they have to actually go to high school eventually.”

3:37, @vvininshe: https://twitter.com/vvininshe/status/1111756832769564672, “vriska”

3:38, @jigglypuff: https://twitter.com/jiiggIypuff/status/1111759491454959622, https://twitter.com/jiiggIypuff/status/1111759591426142210, “counterargument to another tweet: john egbert is not happy,” “also vriska is there”

3:39, @BolChixGang: https://twitter.com/BolChixGang/status/1111759869110030337, “I don't think about the epilogue a lot, but Terezi finding Vriska would be pretty cool. Also John will probably continue to be depressed.”

3:39, @TSmaeBee: https://twitter.com/TSmaeBae/status/1111759864794173452, “this is kind of specific but alt calliope and caliborn mate in the green hole and create an ambivalent cherub which will have some major role they dont necessarily have to do space sex, i just think theyll somehow create an amalgam to curb their weird cherubic desires”

(Threads)

3:32 - 3:39, @likeClockwork, https://twitter.com/IikeClockwork/status/1111758118655090689, “Okay here goes, youre going to have to bear with me because this is gonna be a whole thread of my bullshit,” to https://twitter.com/IikeClockwork/status/1111759746116145153, “The meteor from the beforus session appears, allowing all of the trolls to finally reach god tier allowing them to reach immortality alongside the rest of the humans”

3:36 - 3:39, @Chloe51549235: https://twitter.com/Chloe51549235/status/1111759082564640771, “I think something's wrong with Dave. After the supercartridge sequence, he knew things he shouldn't have. Also, his sword could kill English, and he at some point said he thought that was his destiny. The pocket also appears to be unstoppable, so I hope it doesn't eat the new ½,” to https://twitter.com/Chloe51549235/status/1111759717011881985, “I'm not sure about this one, but isn't a thing where doc scratch and LE exist when the other doesn't? If LE is eaten by the pocket, then... Hooey.”

Responses to the Second Tweet:

3:32, @kylelabriola: https://twitter.com/kylelabriola/status/1111758099969265665, “I'm guessing possibly seeing the Kids' perspective of "Kids Confront Caliborn and are put into the house juju" and then "Vriska releases the house juju”, which could [I guess] cause the kids to then run into Terezi searching for Vriska.”

3:33, @MiraAlternative: https://twitter.com/MiraAlternative/status/1111758416232570882, “Some shit happens and the hiveswap cast is on earth C, then the homestucks kids and the hiveswap kids have a feels session and how joey and jude's pop abandoned them, and roxy being a subpar babysitter. also roxygen, PLEASE”

3:33, @ksstarbuck: https://twitter.com/ksstarbuck/status/1111758402827378688, “*squint* it really depends if the snapchat updates are considered canon. If they are then there is kind of a circular narative thing happening with the alphas in some cases becoming shades of their worst selves. Kind of interesting choices regarding characters that were /1”

3:37, @MercilessNaps: https://twitter.com/MercilessNaps/status/1111759225674293248, “Anything can happen I just want to see Terezi again and I want her SMILING”

^A list of literally everything if anyone wants it for their own theories, but half of this shit probably doesnt mean anything. I’m going to narrow down some of the jokes and some of the more general theories, giving us 9 suggestions to work with.

Responses which I feel are relevant:

3:29, @kittenchilly: https://twitter.com/kittenchilly/status/1111757266502541314, “THE FEDORAFREAK INTERMISSION SPECTACULAR” (i want it to happen god damn it)

3:30, @CalumTraveler: https://twitter.com/CalumTraveler/status/1111757498610925568, “Hiveswap cast survivors on Earth C and John is happy to have new friends to entertain.”

3:32, @kylelabriola: https://twitter.com/kylelabriola/status/1111758099969265665, “I'm guessing possibly seeing the Kids' perspective of "Kids Confront Caliborn and are put into the house juju" and then "Vriska releases the house juju”, which could [I guess] cause the kids to then run into Terezi searching for Vriska.”

3:32 - 3:39, @likeClockwork, https://twitter.com/IikeClockwork/status/1111758118655090689, “Okay here goes, youre going to have to bear with me because this is gonna be a whole thread of my bullshit,” to https://twitter.com/IikeClockwork/status/1111759746116145153, “The meteor from the beforus session appears, allowing all of the trolls to finally reach god tier allowing them to reach immortality alongside the rest of the humans”

3:33, @MiraAlternative: https://twitter.com/MiraAlternative/status/1111758416232570882, “Some shit happens and the hiveswap cast is on earth C, then the homestucks kids and the hiveswap kids have a feels session and how joey and jude's pop abandoned them, and roxy being a subpar babysitter. also roxygen, PLEASE”

3:33, @witchy8itch: https://twitter.com/witchy8itch/status/1111758255364046848, “my 75% serious theory is that john becomes an antagonist (but what i really Want is some resolution on vriska)”

3:34, @staplesponge: https://twitter.com/staplesponge/status/1111758578187190272, “High school reboot. Honestly. Homestuck has always been about teenagers, so they have to actually go to high school eventually.”

3:36 - 3:39, @Chloe51549235: https://twitter.com/Chloe51549235/status/1111759082564640771, “I think something's wrong with Dave. After the supercartridge sequence, he knew things he shouldn't have. Also, his sword could kill English, and he at some point said he thought that was his destiny. The pocket also appears to be unstoppable, so I hope it doesn't eat the new ½,” to https://twitter.com/Chloe51549235/status/1111759717011881985, “I'm not sure about this one, but isn't a thing where doc scratch and LE exist when the other doesn't? If LE is eaten by the pocket, then... Hooey.”

3:39, @TSmaeBee: https://twitter.com/TSmaeBae/status/1111759864794173452, “this is kind of specific but alt calliope and caliborn mate in the green hole and create an ambivalent cherub which will have some major role they dont necessarily have to do space sex, i just think theyll somehow create an amalgam to curb their weird cherubic desires"

The nine relevant responses above split into a bunch of different threads...

- Hiveswap cast on Earth C

- Masterpiece into LE fight into Terezi Vriska BS

- High school reboot

- Dave kills LE

- John is an antagonist

- Cherubs make a weird amalgam thing

You can look through some of the possible scenarios here and draw your own conclusions, but I would like to focus on a scenario which I feel is the most likely. Now I don’t have the best knowledge of Homestuck lore, but let me explain.

🌫|JOHN IS AN ANTAGONIST|🌫

I know, I know, this is probably a theory you've heard before, and if you haven't it seems kind of odd at first glance, but bear with me here. Let’s compile the evidence.

First, let’s take a look at the Homestuck Credits. Needless to say, John definitely isn’t satisfied with his life post-SBURB. His friends are off running kingdoms and doing their own thing, while John is simply living alone, only keeping contact with Dave, Karkat, and Jade. He hasn’t even taken down his 18th birthday sign, so he’s definitely become apathetic in terms of self-care. He also still misses his dad immensely, which is another source of grief for him. Something else to note is that he smashes his phone after Caliborn taunts him, which severs a lot of his communication with the few friends he has left. John is definitely in a bad enough position to become the antagonist.

Second, remember that AMA answer I didn’t cover? “who is the best antagonist in homestuck in your opinion?” “[REDACTED]” Yeah, I don’t think I have to explain the implications of this in terms of the John is an antagonist theory.

Third, let’s consider which comment specifically triggered this, which I think was the one by @Chloe51549235, or cBear. In the Tweet, she states “I also think John will be an antag of sorts, because my friend pointed out that the more power a character has over Homestuck's meta, the bigger the villain they are. I believe Hussie said that as well.” It was tweeted at 3:38, and V tweeted that she got a really good response at 3:39. This has the potential to be hilariously spot-on, as well as show a good understanding of Homestuck, but the “wrong but incredibly correct” part might be a hangup.

John can definitely become the antagonist (the one who initiates change) without being straight up evil like Caliborn. Something was pointed out to me by Pixels and Peaches, as well as cBear in her prediction thread. John still has access to retcon powers, meaning he could easily fuck with the current state of affairs with the goal of, say, getting his dad back. Maybe this is what triggers the Masterpiece in the first place? The Treasure is the source of the retcon powers, so even if the kids are in a different universe when the Masterpiece occurrs, it’s very possible that the kids being within the Treasure could be a universal constant once they’re locked in. Considering that the Treasure is more of an agent of the plot than anything else, it’s not that crazy to think about.

Something else to note, a couple days ago, V tweeted out this, “Are you guys ready for the most important and earth shattering artistic comeback the world has ever known?” At a first glance, this alludes to Hussie’s return in an exaggerated manner, but take a look at the wording: “most important,” “artistic,” “earth shattering,” especially that second one, artistic. I have a distinct feeling that this alludes to Caliborn just based on the tone, something which others have already pointed out. How does Caliborn factor into this John antagonist plot, if it’s the correct theory? Maybe Caliborn is who pushes John to the brink and exploits his actions for his own gain. I’m not too sure, but Caliborn is most likely involved somehow.

:house: :house: :house: IN CONCLUSION :house: :house: :house:

If you want to do more speculation about the epilogue, there’s a bunch of sources you could probably look at. I already mentioned more shit concerning V earlier (the bingo card getting a lot of things right is interesting to me), there’s probably some stuff alluding to it on the accounts of other people close to Andrew (on Ep. 30 of the Perfectly Generic Podcast, one of the guests said that there was apparently quality Jade content in the epilogue, so stay tuned for that), and we already have other leads with the other comments posted in that timeframe if the John theory doesn’t hold up (another theory I’m partial to is the high school reboot, but it’s all drawn by Caliborn, the other comment on cBear’s thread also mentioned that Dave would kill LE, so take that how you will).

Either way, this is just a bunch of fun speculation. It really doesn’t matter what happens in a few days. We could get a true conclusion to Homestuck that satisfies everyone, or we could get 1k pages of Fedorafreak. As long as we chill the out and have some fun with it, we should all survive. After all, apparently we monkey paw wished for a purely Andrew experience.

And we’re going to fucking get it, I guess.

Thanks for reading.

See you on 4/13.

[____________________________________]

Sup. Welcome to the end slate. We’re gonna go a lil stupid here.

Thx again for reading my blog motherfuckers. Sorry if it felt a bit out of touch, in terms of both the narriative and the community. I'm not that experienced on either of those fronts.

Special thanks to a BUNCH of people for contributing, thanks to V, who gave the community the info that made this fun little blog possible, thanks to Pixels and Peaches for helping me out quite a bit with the John Antagonist portion, thanks to Makin for posting that thread about V’s AMA, thanks to everyone who responded to V's tweets for giving good suggestions, and thank you to everyone who's read this far, for promoting blogging content on Amino.

If you have any questions for me, feel free to post them in the comments. I encourage you to draw your own conclusions with the information I’ve presented in this blog, maybe come up with a theory of your own. If you're interested in my Melee shit, here's a link to that.

EDIT: I have more things to tell the good people of Homestuck Amino.

1 - Listen to The Protomen please for the love of god they’re so fucking good

2 - I’m gonna post this theory on Reddit here so expect quite a bit of growth soon

3 (and most importantly) - I want to let you guys know that I really want blogging to thrive on Amino. There’s not a lot of other platforms that have the potential to foster content like this. With youtube you have to have some glossy editing and sick equipment. Not to say that it doesn’t take effort, but it’s not the Wild West anymore. Blogging on Amino could do that. Anyone could have the potential to succeed with good content.

That’s why I’m gonna post here over the summer, do shit somewhat like optimisticDuelist. Because I believe in the Amino format and community. I hope others will understand what I’m trying to say here. There’s been a lot of communities that haven’t been able to gain traction, but I feel like a blogging scene could be generated here with enough work simply cuz this community is nutty as fuck, homestuck fans have so much passion tbh

Idk man. First I gotta get well-versed in homestuck tho :/

Also, one last thing before you go. V posted something like "what do you want" a while back. She got a lot of answers pertaining to what the community wanted from the epilogue. The next day, she posted this in response.

See you next blog, HSA.