1. Pre-op or Post-op?

Because in our society ‘describe your genitals’ is interchangeable with 'Hello.“

2. So, are you gay then?

It’s not the same thing, that’s why 'G’ and ’T’ are two separate elements of the acronym 'LGBT’ and, like in the drink, represent two very different components.

3. I don’t believe in 'Transsexuals’

That’s okay, I don’t believe in stupid arseholes so now we can spend the rest of our lives not getting in each other’s way.

4. A mate of mine, he did the same thing as you.

If 'he’s’ really a mate, you’d try and get the pronouns right.

5. A mate of mine, he did the same thing as you. Do you know him?

Yes, because there’s only five of us and every year we gather in Brighton to dance in glitter.

6. God wanted you to be a man.

Well, the voice in MY head is named Brian and he’s totally cool with it. He has a thick Bolton accent and winks at me every time I feel sad.

7. I can’t imagine having 'that’ removed.

Of course not, you’re not Transgender. Without yours you’d have no personality or brains whatsoever.

8. I’ve often wondered what it’s like to be a woman.

Well pull up a sailor and sit yourself down while we give each other makeovers and giggle about boys! SISTERS FOR EVER!!!!!!

9. Are THOSE real.

Real or not, you have no right to grab them without my permission.

10. So you’re a Shemale/Ladyboy/HeShe/Tranny then?

Well now we know what’s in YOUR porn collection, don’t we?