An absolutely IMPOSSIBLY awesome assortment. Seriously. The package is gigantic. And not from packing peanuts. NO. NOT EVEN CLOSE.

Included is an assortment of fiendlishly clever items, all of which combine to make me shake my head in awe, disbelief, and disheartened resignation. NO! I'm kidding about the last part!

This was an amazing Secret Santa. This was the Secret Santa giving of a person who clearly had a great time making up the package. And it SHOWED. All items were (ZOWIE!) individually wrapped. His card was thoughtful and funny. Warrenwheel, I love you. As more than a brother but less than a lover.

Warrenwheel, you're amazing. Your card has been reread a couple of times and the dogs are learning to avoid me when I have my Nerf gun in hand. The grappling hook has been used once on the back deck with spectacular results (deck completely torn down and destroyed!) and...just know that you made my Christmas memorable, special, and excellent.

I hit the jackpot when we got matched. From the heart of my bottom, I thank you.

And his gift arrived DAYS AGO. I'm a shit because I delayed posting while trying to obtain good pics of grappling hook in use. Bitter cold and surly, uncooperative 'friends' foiled my efforts. Blame for late posting lies entirely with me. My Santa is a SAINT (Nick.)