There is nothing so broken within ESPN that couldn’t be fixed with a small but well-aimed nuclear warhead.

1. Would ESPN conspicuously and shamelessly exploit the sudden, tragic death of Kobe Bryant for cheap, transparent self-promotion?

Yes. And it did.

2. Would ESPN’s shameless, indecent exploitation of Bryant’s death at least be honest?

No. And it wasn’t.

Sunday, shortly after the world learned Bryant had been killed, ESPN got to work doing what it does — worming in on the story to fabricate its first-with-the-most presence. ESPN posted these graphics:

“Breaking News: Kobe Bryant dies in helicopter crash at age 41. Reports: Lakers legend dies at 41, ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reports (1st reported by TMZ).”

So what did ESPN and Wojnarowski have to do with it? Nothing. It was just another unconscionable ESPN sell of ESPN to an audience it believes too dim to know better.

ESPN’s online reporting of Bryant’s death was no more credible: “Sources have confirmed to ESPN’s Wojnarowski” that Bryant is dead.

But this is what ESPN has become. And, like a box of assorted rancid chocolates, much to choose from.

Sunday I chronicled how ESPN, starting three years ago, destroyed an innocent man’s TV career for calling Venus Williams a “gorilla” when every right-minded soul knows he did nothing of the sort — he’d complimented her successful “guerrilla” tactics.

Then ESPN, to avoid a wrongful-termination suit it would almost certainly lose, rehired tennis analyst Doug Adler, with the promise that his ESPN assignments, including the Australian Open and Wimbledon, would be restored.

Instead, ESPN placed him on its persona non grata shelf, so he could further feel the pain of ESPN’s dishonest persecution and prosecution.

Last week, ESPN distributed a news release giving the reactions of its MLB analysts and hosts to the Astros cheating scandal. Among others we heard from Eduardo Perez, Mark Teixeira and Tim Kurkjian.

Guess whose take was missing?

Correct, that of ESPN’s No. 1 game analyst, Alex Rodriguez.

That ESPN chose to hire one of the most notorious drug cheats in sports history remains sickening, so bereft of good faith that Rodriguez is excused from answering such questions and addressing such a cataclysmic baseball issue.

But that’s ESPN.

ESPN even toys with history to suit its sells. For years it found any excuse to air its “Bobby Knight Goes Berserk” reel. But after ESPN hired Knight, that disappeared from view.

It returned only after Knight left the network.

ESPN has violated minimum standards of honest broadcast journalism, so much so that it paid Barry Bonds for exclusive access and allowed his “people” to approve the scripts of reports as the drug cheat approached Hank Aaron’s career home run record.

But that’s ESPN. And its shamelessly forced, dishonest sell of itself as attached to the shocking death of Kobe Bryant is more disturbing than surprising.

NBA long-range game has become 3-alarm dire

Don’t know how much longer Adam Silver and the NBA’s “governors” can avoid the issue, but the 3-point shot, originally intended and used as a late-game comeback gimmick, has turned NBA games silly.

Basketball — the kind that emphasizes team play, quick thinking, all-in movement and exciting two-way play — has been lost to contests of “Bombs away!”

This week, the Mavericks attempted 100 field goals against the Thunder, 51 of them, more than half, 3-pointers. Kristaps Porzingis, Dallas’ 7-foot-3 shooting guard, took just seven.

What’s particularly mystifying about this Astros sign-stealing saga is how anyone thought the franchise could keep a lid on it.

The 2017 Astros played 46 men and employed eight coaches. The mere notion that all were sworn to secrecy or felt “honor-bound” to keep it secret is ludicrous.

Same with that wink-and-nod, money-first gentlemen’s agreement between Bud Selig and MLBPA boss Donald Fehr to pretend that the sudden smashing of home run records by suddenly mass-muscled, head-swollen steroid sluggers would remain ignored.

Arrogance or ignorance? Either way, the absence of foresight is mind-blowing.

In an age when ball carriers no longer “cut” but “stick a foot in the ground,” brevity and clarity have been lost to long-form goofy.

Thus, a scrolled report on MSG that Miami of Ohio has postponed two basketball games as it investigates students who may have the coronavirus concluded with: “The games will be rescheduled at a later date.”

Just “will be rescheduled” didn’t cut it? “At a later date” was needed? It’s like “going forward.” Are there options for the future? When do we arrive at going forward?

Last week, as the jet I was in approached Newark Airport, the pilot or co-pilot informed passengers that we had begun our “initial descent.” Really? How many descents did he have in mind?

I checked on my way out. Neither pilot was Mike Mayock or Kirk Herbstreit.

Truth about Zion yields some ‘heavy’ criticism

Zion Williamson’s NBA debut, shown on ESPN, left one can’t-miss impression: Williamson, listed as 6 feet 6, 284, appeared heavier, even, well, fat.

Analysts Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson didn’t ignore what we/they couldn’t miss, several times remarking that Williamson, who played well in his 18 minutes, appeared corpulent.

The next day on the internet — always a source for well-comported, reasonable debate — Van Gundy and Jackson were trashed by fools for “body-shaming” Williamson, as if the conditioning of a professional athlete — the No. 1 pick at more than $20 million for two years, no less — is irrelevant.

Judging from CBS’ and the Golf Channel’s coverage from Torrey Pines last Thursday through Sunday, Tiger Woods led wire-to-wire. Even if he did finish ninth.

Steiner Collectibles, in conjunction with this year’s Hall of Fame inductions, will sell Derek Jeter toenail clippings, one to a box, certificates of authenticity included.

Atlanta Falcons patrons have defaulted on more than $32 million of PSL purchases. Another town to learn that Roger Goodell’s claim that PSLs are “good investments” was bogus.

Congrats to Gary Bettman for inviting the punk group Green Day to holler F-bombs during their performance at the NHL All-Star Game. Not that Bettman can claim ambush. The NHL agreed to a promotional deal with the band just after it released its album “Father of All Motherf—ers.” Best the NHL could do.

ESPN and its audiences would be well served if Sean McDonough were restored to the “Monday Night Football” play-by-play chair. But this time, rather than have Jon Gruden beside him, assign an analyst who’s prepared, pays attention and doesn’t leave McDonough ignored.

I’m confused. New manager Luis Rojas last season was the Mets’ director of quality control. Exactly what qualities did he control? I’ll bet he can’t wait to see Robinson Cano hit the ball, then throw it into idle.