A 10-year-old Massey Primary School student died of a suspected self-inflicted death just days before she was due to return to school from the summer break.

As the summer school holidays drew to a close, two young girls, aged 9 and 10 are believed to have taken their lives in unrelated incidents.

A 10-year-old Auckland child died by apparent suicide at her home in Swanson, west Auckland, on Friday.

The Massey Primary School student's death has been referred to the coroner for investigation.

123rf Experts say it's important to talk to children about their emotions and what they're feeling. If a child can describe their emotions then they don't have to act them out.

Earlier at the start of January, in an unrelated incident, a nine-year-old Kaitaia girl died in Auckland's Starship Hospital.

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A spokesman for the coroner said this "suspected self-inflicted death" was also being investigated by the coroner.

SUPPLIED Ministry of Education head of sector enablement and support Katrina Casey says the ministry is supporting the school and students.

In the year ending June 2016, eight children aged 10-14 died by suicide, compared to 10 in the same age group during the previous year, according to the provisional suicide figures released by the Coroner's Office.

While one nine-year-old Palmerston North Girl's death in November 2015 was self-inflicted, in a ruling Coroner Carla na Nagara said the girl took an impulsive step to end her distress but did not intend to end her life.

In the year to June 2012, one child in the 5-9 age group died by suicide - the youngest since the Coronial Services Unit began collecting comprehensive suicide statistics in 2007.

'AN ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY'

Police Inspector Brett Batty said Waitakere Police have been keeping in contact with the 10-year-old's family and providing support as required.



"This is an absolute tragedy. The thoughts of the community and local police are with the family."

The girl's death happened just days before the end of the summer holidays but has affected the school community.

Massey Primary School board of trustees chairman Kurt Jarrett said the school was supporting the family, students, staff and community.

The Ministry of Education's traumatic incident team had been working with the school since the girl's death, Jarrett said.

Counsellors from a local community group had also been made available to staff, students and the girl's family.

"Yesterday being the first day back went well staff and then students where talked to right at the start of the day, and care was taking all day along with many available outlets for discussions on the subject.

I heard at the end of the day that it all went well," he said.

Ministry of Education head of sector enablement and support Katrina Casey said a plan had been developed, and students and staff who may need extra support identified.

Massey High School staff would also support the primary school this week before high school students started on Thursday.

"We will continue to work with Ministry of Health colleagues, Child Youth and Family and others to ensure the right support is in place for the schools and community," Casey said.

​HOW TO TELL YOUR KIDS

Child and family psychologist David Stebbing said when adults talked to children about a tragic death like this, they needed to use factually correct but simple language.

It wasn't helpful to say someone had "gone into the sky" or "gone to a better place". It left things too open to interpretation, Stebbing said.

Instead, allow children to ask questions and clarify why they had asked a question before answering.

Adults also needed to manage their own reaction and stress because there could be an element of contagion to the child, he said.

Children weren't always good at distinguishing possibility versus probability and can become quite distressed.

"You have to have a supportive environment in the sense of people being able to share their sadness," Stebbing said.

"One of the things that's really important is for families to try to have open forums where kids can bring stuff to the table...

"Parents also need to give kids a clear message that emotions are normal and OK.

"There's a difference between how you think and feel, and what you do."

When talking about the self-inflicted death of a young person, there is often a debate around whether children can understand the idea of death and forever.

Stebbing said he did not think anyone really understood death but children conceptualised permanence in a different way.

"It's hard for them to have that same sense of forever as adults would."

ATTITUDES NEED TO CHANGE

​Suicide prevention campaigner Mike King said 20 per cent of children will have a suicidal thought before they leave school.

King said the thought may be fleeting or it may grind away at the child.

And 80 per cent of those kids never talk about it.

"The questions we need to really ask ourselves is: 'what's happening in society when kids aren't coming to us and talking to us?'"

King said Kiwi kids lived in "absolute terror" of what other people would think or say about them.

"The pressure on our kids to be perfect is just unbelieveable."

King said New Zealanders' attitudes towards mental health needed to change to be more accepting of those with problems to curb the number of self-inflicted deaths and suicides.

"We've got to make it OK for young people to have problems... everyone has problems," he said.

WHERE TO GET HELP

Lifeline (open 24/7) - 0800 543 354

Depression Helpline (open 24/7) - 0800 111 757

Healthline (open 24/7) - 0800 611 116

Samaritans (open 24/7) - 0800 726 666

Suicide Crisis Helpline (open 24/7) - 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.

Youthline (open 24/7) - 0800 376 633. You can also text 234 for free between 8am and midnight, or email talk@youthline.co.nz

0800 WHATSUP children's helpline - phone 0800 9428 787 between 1pm and 10pm on weekdays and from 3pm to 10pm on weekends. Online chat is available from 7pm to 10pm every day at www.whatsup.co.nz.

Kidsline (open 24/7) - 0800 543 754. This service is for children aged 5 to 18. Those who ring between 4pm and 9pm on weekdays will speak to a Kidsline buddy. These are specially trained teenage telephone counsellors.

Your local Rural Support Trust - 0800 787 254 (0800 RURAL HELP)

Alcohol Drug Helpline (open 24/7) - 0800 787 797. You can also text 8691 for free.

For further information, contact the Mental Health Foundation's free Resource and Information Service (09 623 4812).