The Hastings Borough Council in East Sussex has found the ultimately reusable energy source: people. It is the energy version of Soylent Green. The city will be drawing heat from the burning of bodies from crematoriums.



The plan will require a £800,000 refit to the crematoriums. It will ultimately not just be used for heat but electricity, so that you can work out on that treadmill while being powered by Uncle Fred. If the idea of being turned into a human briquette is not appealing, consider the discount you can receive by leaving your body not to science but to your power company. After all, when you call yourself the “power people,” you are perfectly set up for the transition from fossil fuels to cce, cadaver combustible energy.

Where is Charlton Heston when you need him?

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