"Well Played, Mauer"

Joe Mauer is no Peyton Manning when it comes to being in front of the camera. Some Twins fans often get on him for being non-charasmatic and bit boring.

But the hasn't stopped the man from being in some pretty damn good commercials during his career.

So joing me Twins fans, and let's take a trip down memory lane...

Quite possibly one of the best commercials ever made, this TV spot deserves an Oscar, a Peabody and a Nobel Peace Prize.

In this commercial paying homage to the classic Coca-Cola commercial featuring Steelers great Mean Joe Green, we see a young lad generously give Joe Mauer a bottle of label-less water (gotta watch out for that copyright infringement) and then in exchange, Joe proceeds to unselfishly RIP HIS SIDEBURNS OUT OF THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD for the young fan.

This commercial would ultimately lead to the single greatest fan promotion night ever, Joe Mauer Sideburn Night.

Any chance of an Eduardo Escobar Mustache Night in the near future?

At the time this commercial aired, Mauer was deemed one of Minnesota's most eligible bachelors. To the chagrin of women everywhere, this TV spot begins with Joe appearing to be getting ready for a date. When he arrives to his dates' house with a gallon of milk and flowers we see the door opens to reveal... his mom?? Sigh of relief from men and women alike.

Taking place at SportsCenter's headquarters, Joe and Scott Van Pelt are sitting by one another during a lunch break. SVP takes this chance to grill Joe on some Minnesota fun facts.

SVP's first inquiry about Minnesota is about the movie Fargo, to which Joe replies, "That's North Dakota." Joe is being a typical humble Minnesotan here.

While yes, Fargo the city is in North Dakota, this movie has a much more Minnesotan influence. Christ, the majority of the film takes place in Minneapolis and Brainerd and the Coen Brothers hail from Minnesota as well. At the very least, let's chalk it up as a 50/50 between which state gets to stake claim to this dark comedy.

This commercial is an obvious dig at the Twins' inability to beat the Yankees, having just been swept by them in the playoffs. The taunts from one, ‘Kevin Butler' is a sweeping echo of Yankees' fans every year while all Joe can do is shake in head in defeat.

In what can only be a premonition of this year's Wild Card game, Joe then clobbers a homerun to right field of all places. By last count, Joe has pulled about 3 baseballs into the right field corner this season.

Final Score: Yankees 22, Twins 1

Let's also not forget that Joe was on back-to-back covers of MLB the Show. The only player to do so. If you ask me, this stat should be considered by Hall of Fame voters everywhere.

Well played, Mauer.

The only thing we can establish here is that Joe is one gifted singer. What can only be described as the tonality and passion of a singing cartoon bear, Joe's ‘Make sure you keep your glove near, there is simply more to love here' lyric is as smooth as it is buttery.

Joe and Joe (Nathan) are battling it out on the Xbox playing what appears to be 2K Sports Major League Baseball (The Show is exclusively Sony). Nathan makes Joe look silly on a slider, to which Joe states he could get a hit off Nathan in real life. The two then set up for some classic basement wiffle-ball.

My favorite basement baseball memory is when my little brother accidentally let go of the mini bat and it flew into the wall and made a hole and just stuck there. We knew we were in deep shit but in hindsight the fact that it stuck in the wall was quite hilarious.

I digress.

Joe rips a screaming gapper into left center and proves that he is the dominant force in this battle between sideburns and goatees.

I don't need to remind you what happened in game in game 2 of the 1991 World Series between Kent Hrbek and Ron Gant, but in case you needed a little refresher, this playful TV reenacts one of the most controversial plays in baseball.

Brian Dozier makes an appearance in this one, inquiring Joe about what Kent Hrbek is doing over there with the Twins' mascot, T.C.

"He's giving me some pointers on playing first base," Joe replies.

Hrbek then maliciously tosses T.C. around like a killer whale playing with a seal to secure the out. Whatever it takes, baby.