Have you noticed that Trump’s hissy fits, name-calling, and general egotistical behavior are rubbing off on Bill Barr?

I swear you could stick a pin in Barr and he’d fly around the room backwards for two or three days making exhaust noises and smelling up the air with haughty in three zip codes.

The latest? The lawyers in his own justice department are pre-schoolers when they disagree with him. Well yeah, you know, turning guns on peaceful protestors in the front of the White House might put your legal acumen in question, Barr.

“Name one successful organization or institution where the lowest level employees’ decisions are deemed sacrosanct, there aren’t. There aren’t any letting the most junior members set the agenda. It might be a good philosophy for a Montessori preschool, but it is no way to run a federal agency.”

Yeah, tell us how to run a federal agency, Bill, because we have never seen one run well under Trump. They have all been infested with cronyism and corruption at the top so if we don’t believe you, Master Barr, pull Stephen Miller out of your butt and mosey on down the road. You can leave your floppy shoes behind, because I feel sure that they will fit the next court jester, too.

And get this —

“You know, putting a national lockdown, stay at home orders, is like house arrest. Other than slavery, which was a different kind of restraint, this is the greatest intrusion on civil liberties in American history,” Barr said as a round of applause came from the crowd.

Oh, it’s going to be worse than that, Bill. We’re going demand that people wear face masks in public. As we approach 200,000 dead from doing it your way, Bill, I’m wondering about life, liberty, and happiness? Is the life part unimportant?

Besides, conservatives do not get to lecture liberals about civil liberties. Don’t I have a civil liberty right to protest in front of the White House, Bill, without being hit, shoved, threatened, gassed and come damn close to having something sprayed on me that makes my skin feel like it’s on fire? But there you were, waddling across the street with your boyfriend, watching civil liberties on the business end of nightstick.

You’re an egg sucking dog, Bill Barr.

And your calmness in the face of women having forced hysterectomies with God only knows how many complications and deaths, is truly impressive. We’re the United States, Bill, and we’re supposed to protect everybody’s civil liberties. We may have had the right to send the immigrants back to Mexico but we absolutely do not have the right to rip their children from them and put them in cages, and then perform mystery unnecessary surgeries on them.

What the hell is wrong with your soul, Bill Barr?

I have more to say but I’ve run out of words and my fingers are tired. I can assure you that I’m not finished.

A note to the secret service. If Bill Barr refuses to leave the White House after the election, I have access to a front loader. I just wanted you guys to know that, and that I’d be willing to drive it.