Not a bad little story. I'm gonna make two criticisms. First: you've got a ton of run on sentences. Read your sentences out loud. If you have to take a breath before you get to the end of your sentence. Then it's a run on sentence. You need to cut down on the amount of commas you're using and put more periods in. Second: Every time a new person speaks it's a new paragraph. So if two people are talking back and forth it will be a new paragraph each time one speaks. I'm going to edit a little bit of your story to show you what I mean.



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She polished off the pizza leaving her in an extremely stuffed state. “Now I definitely can’t eat anymore …Urrrrrrp… I don’t think I’ve ever been this stuffed,” she said out of breath. “Thanks for the pizza, and the workout I can always count on you." She looked up at me "you’re like the only guy who spends time with me anymore, I don’t think anyone would like me at this size.”



I saw this as my moment. I brought my lips to hers and kissed her passionately. “I like you at any size. I’ve always thought you were amazing,” I said hoping she’d feel the same way.



“So, you don’t mind me being …Urppp… bigger?” she said. Bigger was an understatement, but I knew what she meant.



I looked her in her beautiful green eyes and said “I wouldn’t say I don’t mind it, I love it.” I pulled her closer and kissed her again this time she hung on longer than I did. We started making out, I brought my hand too her inner thigh which was so soft to touch. I started to bring my hand towards her pussy, in the process having to lift her heavy gut to reach it. Her eyes widened when I finally made contact. She let out low moans of pleasure every stroke. Seeing an opportunity, I took the leftover fries and started to feed her them one by one, as I stroked her clit. She was in bliss and just accepted the food coming to her.



She came with a loud moan from the orgasm and the foodgasm. “That was," she gasped "amazing! I wouldn’t have thought food and orgasms would go so well together,” she said breathing heavily. “But now it’s time for the final course” She heaved herself up which took way longer than it should have. As she stood up her straining sweatpants ripped at the seams, letting her doughy flesh into the open. “I had to get a …Urrrrrrpppppp… new pair anyways." She quickly undid the zip on my pants and brought my erect penis to her gaping maw. When I came she swallowed quickly and looked me in the eye, “I don’t think this diet is ...Urppp… gonna last longer than tonight babe." She blushed a little "I hope you look forward to more of me to love,” she finished.



As she sat in front of me her gut hanging freely practically touching the floor, her shirt riding fully up and her sweatpants in pieces on the floor her thighs and ass almost as wide as the table behind her, all I could think to say was “Bigger is always better.”



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So yeah this is how it would look if you broke it up into proper paragraphs when they talked. Not only does it make you story look longer haha it makes it much easier to read. Another thing I noticed while going through to edit it. You use 'and' a ton which is something you want to try to avoid. Using and here and there is fine, but almost all your sentences have a few ands in them. Instead of using and think about ending the sentence there. There are some other things I could list off, but I think you working on the few things I talked about here is a good start. I hope you take this as constructive criticism. I also hope you keep writing. The expansion community always needs more writers. Cheers keep up the good work!