_____

—

It’s 5:30 am, and your alarm goes off. You open your eyes, and your mind starts racing. Meetings, conference calls and project deadlines all loom.

Why is there always so much to do and never enough time to get it done?

You grab your phone and scroll through your notifications as you walk into the shower, half awake. Knowing she’s not up, you send her a text message: “Good morning, baby. I hope you have a wonderful day.”

This text serves as two reminders: You want her to know she’s the first thing on your mind. And, more importantly, she needs to realize that, regardless of how stressful or busy your days are, she’s the priority.

It sounds so perfect, but that’s not reality.

Instead, you’ll log into Instagram or Facebook, nosing into everyone else’s life, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll send that text to your woman on the way to work.

Relationships these days lack direction. People “date,” but what the hell does that even mean anymore? Is it hanging out twice a month? Texting all day? Kissing here and there?

Something is missing. What’s causing relationships to falter at the rate they are?

Relationships thrive on communication. Our most intimate emotions are reserved for the person we love, so how is it acceptable to never show them?

We’ve accepted so many unacceptable things: sitting at the dinner table with our phones out, arguing over text, publishing every minute of our lives on social media.

Do you know what trumps all that? That society has accepted relationships in which we are being cheated on every day.

When you think of cheating in the traditional sense, having sex with another person comes to mind. It’s an intimate situation in which the person you love is connecting with another while you are going about your life, loving and caring for said person. Once you find out, all trust is lost.

But think about the concept for a minute.

Webster’s Dictionary defines cheating as the deprivation of “something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud.”

Sure, sex is cheating and may be the most hurtful case, but have you ever stopped to think you’re being cheated out of your relationship every day?

We experience a lack of communication, attention, passion, intimacy and even lack of love. Why are we okay with this and all the communication shortcuts that have become so common?

This type of cheating causes much more damage than that of any sexual affair.

You’ve given your heart to someone and love him or her with every bone in your body, but you have to beg for his or her attention. You sit back and watch this person post status updates about useless things, or post pictures just so people can comment.

You need to take a minute to tell her she’s beautiful. Call her after work to say, “Get dressed in 30 minutes. I’m picking you up and taking you somewhere special.”

Make an effort. Old-fashioned love needs to make another round.

The days of holding hands, opening the car door, taking her out “just because,” sending her flowers just to get a smile and leaving her notes on her car should never be gone.

We have to be children when it comes to love. We have to be vulnerable and free. That can’t happen when we’re preoccupied with the details of everyone else’s lives.

Focus on each other. When it’s all said and done, that’s all you really have.

Appreciate her, and show her how much she means to you. But, most importantly, put your phone down, and dial into what’s in front of you.

–◊♦◊—

—-

RSVP to join weekly calls on Love, Sex & Relationships

What Next? Talk with others. Take action.

We are proud of our SOCIAL INTEREST GROUPS—WEEKLY PHONE CALLS to discuss and help solve some of the most difficult challenges the world has today. Calls are for Members Only (although you can join the first call for free). Not yet a member of The Good Men Project? Join now!

Join The Good Men Project Community

The $50 Platinum Level is an ALL-ACCESS PASS—join as many groups and classes as you want for the entire year. The $25 Gold Level gives you access to any ONE Social Interest Group and ONE Class–and other benefits listed below the form. Or…for $12, join as a Bronze Member and support our mission.

Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free

Register New Account

Log in if you wish to renew an existing subscription. Username Email First Name Last Name Password Password Again Choose your subscription level Annual Platinum - $50.00 - 1 Year

Annual Bronze - $12.00 - 1 Year

Annual Gold - $25.00 - 1 Year Credit / Debit Card PayPal Choose Your Payment Method Auto Renew Subscribe to The Good Men Project Daily Newsletter our Terms of Service which can be found here.



Please note: If you are already a writer/contributor at The Good Men Project, log in here before registering. You can now log in using Facebook or Twitter.

◊♦◊

ANNUAL PLATINUM membership ($50 per year) includes:

1. AN ALL ACCESS PASS — Join ANY and ALL of our weekly calls, Social Interest Groups, classes, workshops and private Facebook groups. We have at least one group phone call or online class every day of the week.

2. See the website with no ads when logged in!

3. PLATINUM MEMBER commenting badge and listing on our “Friends of The Good Men Project” page.

***

ANNUAL GOLD membership ($25 per year) includes all the benefits above — but only ONE Weekly Social Interest Group and ONE class.

***

ANNUAL BRONZE membership ($12 per year) is great if you are not ready to join the full conversation but want to support our mission anyway. You’ll still get a BRONZE commenting badge, a listing on our Friends page, and you can pop into any of our weekly Friday Calls with the Publisher when you have time. This is for people who believe—like we do—that this conversation about men and changing roles and goodness in the 21st century is one of the most important conversations you can have today.

♦◊♦

We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.

◊♦◊

—-

By Anthony D’Ambrosio for YourTango

______

This article originally appeared on Your Tango. For more like this from Your Tango, try:

Photo credit: Getty Images

Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free

—