It’s About Time

They say all coders are brothers-and-sisters-in-arms. Well, a family needs a crest.

Look at the facts. The royal families of Europe? All connected via genetic information recorded in a master document with a few backups kept off-site in case one of the forks is unsuccessful and needs to be overwritten. Sounds pretty familiar, right?

And what about if we turn it the other way? We all know most code is written by multiple people, passing their ideas along to their intellectual children. At this point in computer history, the original conquering patriarchs have passed into legend, and those named as their heirs are often revered. And a single coder who starts at Microsoft, moves to Google, and then winds up at Apple has intertwined the strands as tightly as Queen Elizabeth mixes British and German blood. Plus we all know corporations like to hire people who are already working. Is it any wonder an aristocracy has formed, and a few people consolidate the titles to themselves? Project Manager of Siri, Grand Architect of The Google Algorithm, Lord High Protector Of The Flash Drive With The Power Point Presentation On It, are these any less important than the old “Defender Of The Faith” and “Order of the Garter” once were?

So take up your crest, noble code monkeys! Today your code begins to bind you with the strength of blood! Today you begin to be recognized as the Aristocracy 2.0! Just be sure you always call it a “dynastic house” okay? Because if you call it a “union” they’ll kick your ungrateful butts to the curb.

Wear this shirt: Are you kidding? To work. Where else do you wear t-shirts?

Don’t wear this shirt: if you don’t work with computers. Somebody sees this thing, it’s going to lead to a conversation, and if you can’t talk the talk, they’ll probably kill you and leave the body in an alley. And nobody EVER suspects the coder.

This shirt tells the world: “Probably this is a great birthday gift for the Dungeon Master. Though there are a few exceptions.”

We call this color: Make New Code, But Keep The Old, One Is Silver And The Other Allows You To Blame The Guy Who Retired When Something Goes Wrong And The CEO Starts Asking Questions

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