Luis Suarez

Liverpool

Easily the most hated player in the Premier League. A goal-scoring machine who’s also a flopper, a whiner, an (alleged) racial-insult slinger, and a (verifiable) biter. Got a ten-game ban for Tyson-ing a foe.

Mario Balotelli

A.C. Milan

Super Mario has been accused of hanging with mobsters and strippers, setting his house on fire (indoor fireworks), and crashing his car while carrying £5,000 in cash. Asked why: Because I am rich.

Zlatan Ibrahimovi

Paris Saint-Germain

This absurdly talented Swede fights with teammates and acts like God. His autobiography, I Am Zlatan, is a masterwork of athlete self- aggrandizement.

Give me a surefire Winner

Watch these guys play for both Champions League front-runners and World Cup favorites.

Neymar

Robin van Persie

Manchester United; Netherlands

The Netherlands’ all-time leading scorer; unstoppable with Man U, the Premier League team we love to hate.

Mesut Ozil

Arsenal; Germany

A googly-eyed Muppet with some of the best vision in Europe; he’ll be a menace when Germany plays the U.S. in Brazil.

Eden Hazard

Chelsea; Belgium

Belgium is everyone’s favorite dark horse for the World Cup. They’re young and dynamic, typified by this 23-year-old attacker who is maturing rapidly.

Koke

Atlético Madrid; Spain

The reigning World Cup and European champion, Spain needs an injection of youth, and this creative 22-year-old could be the solution.

Neymar

Barcelona; Brazil

If Brazil wins the World Cup or comes close, he will be the tournament’s poster boy.

Sergio AgueroManchester City, Argentina

Messi gets the awards but his countryman, a more classic center forward—and the former son-in-law of Argentine legend Diego Maradona—can be just as magical.

Paul Pogba

Juventus, France

"Paul the Octopus" won the 2013 Golden Boy award as the best under-21 player in Europe. On the short list for the next generation's superstar players.

Ivan Rakitic

Sevilla, Croatia

He plays with a bulldog’s aggression and a concert violist’s touch, as happy lacing a pinpoint 50-yard diagonal cross or deftly threading a seeing-eye through-ball.

Marco VerrattiParis Saint-Germain, ItalyThe 21-year-old playmaker possesses some of the best technical skills in France’s Ligue 1. He can be magical to watch.

Alexis SanchezBarcelona, ChileAlthough he plays in the Barcelona shadow of Messi and Neymar, the 25 year old is developing into a scoring force in his own right.

"Back in 1988, I was in London on a promotional tour with N.W.A, and one night we were watching TV, and these cool cats in red came on the box. They whupped some poor dudes four or five-zip." Other reds: LeBron James (owns a piece of the team), Samuel L. Jackson, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. "My whole family is Tottenham fans. I still remember in ’81 waking up at 5 A.M. to put on my two-tone striped blue kit with my dad to watch the FA Cup final." Other lilywhites: Jude Law, Salman Rushdie.

"Milan has always been my favorite team, and it’s always in my heart. I keep a Milan shirt and scarf in my locker room so I can look at them every day." Other rossoneris: Silvio Berlusconi (he’s the owner!)* "Watching soccer is my main hobby. I’m no tactician, but I enjoy the free flow of it and the histories behind clubs. Like Barcelona vs. Madrid—it’s not just a soccer game; it’s a geopolitical struggle. I was definitely 90 percent MLS and still am. Houston is my team, always and forever."

I just want to drink @ 9 A.M.

Really, you just plan to get behind whichever squad got your great local soccer bar to open early this weekend.

Chatham Tap

(Indianapolis)

Wake up early and join the Euro-centric crowd at one of two Chatham locations in Indy. Beers range from the traditional English imports to the delightfully named Wychwood Hobgoblin and Bell's Two Hearted IPA. All are welcome but Liverpool supporters especially so; you’ll never drink alone indeed.

FC Gotham

** (New York City)**

The owners of VIP Room and Beaumarchais offer up this swanky spot in the heart of the Meatpacking District. Think the nicest locker room you’ve ever seen but with beautiful women in stilettos, 28 high-def televisions, and cocktails named for Mexico’s famous Azteca Stadium.

The Globe Pub

** (Chicago)**

U.S. Soccer calls Chicago home so it’s only right to feature a bar from the Windy City on this list. The Globe is the easy choice, a Northcenter staple that has soccer scarves on the walls but specializes in showing sports from all across the globe.

Tap

** (Atlanta)**

Ten televisions, 35 beers (and two wines) on tap, and chef Nick McCormick serving up dishes including Southern Fried Cornish Hen and Pork Belly Brochettes. What’s not to like? There are also the occasional high-class Kegs and Eggs parties. You know, if you must.

O’Brien’s American Pub

** (San Diego)**

San Diego is more than a surf town; it’s one of the biggest soccer hotspots in the country. And nowhere’s better than O’Brien’s. Come for the 28 taps focusing on California’s finest and a host of the best bottles from Belgium like Westmalle Tripel and Rochefort 10. Stay for the footy, the food, and the famous sunshine.

I just want an excuse for a European Vacation