Anyway, the congregation became, as it used to be before, my sweet cocoon in which I was trying hard to develop my personality. It was my family and my only benchmark, the only pillar on which my faith and personality was built on. And that’s how I became a zealous proclaimer in also 2013, and later in 2014, a sister.

I was seen as the child prodigy, the example of faith, although I was struggling following all the rules: I hardly prayed, unable to do it properly, I hardly read the bible, and also I had a major “problem” which was my bisexuality and many friendships were ruined because of these many “crushes” I had, and I struggled believing in god.

I recall the 5 year old me, drawing a drawing for Jehovah, waiting for him to come and pick it up and he obviously never did, that was when I think, the day that my faith actually died. I wanted to believe, but it’s not the way we do. You believe. You don’t have to try to.