Pardon the clickbait headline, but I honestly could not believe what the AARP published about breast cancer in the cover story in the current issue of AARP The Magazine.

Here is a sampling from one breast-cancer survivor:

This was my own doing, and I take responsibility. When I got my body back into balance, the cancer disappeared. I have the BRCA2 gene but don’t encourage women to get tested. Genes can be turned on or off. I turned my gene on with my very poor diet. Our bodies are batteries. We need 70 percent alkaline and 30 percent acid to run optimally. Sugar is the worst, then red meat, dairy, wheat and gluten.

You get the idea: If you have breast cancer, it’s your fault. You got out of balance with your poor diet, and sugar and gluten disrupted your batteries. Or something.

The author of the AARP story, Alanna Nash, got this wisdom from the noted breast-cancer expert and survivor Melissa Etheridge, whom Nash describes as a “music legend.”

But wait–there’s more! It comes from another breast cancer expert, survivor, and music legend–Sheryl Crow:

Women have bodies designed to sustain life, but we don’t allow ourselves to be nurtured. Cancer taught me to put myself first. The body functions at a higher level cellularly when you’re relaxed. I now do mindful meditation.

These observations appear in a graphic (accompanying a story) under the headline “How They Beat Cancer…Lessons for All of Us.” They amount to a frightening sampler of the myths and much of the nonsense concerning breast cancer. And they are presented without any challenge, criticism, or corrective.

What’s worse, the two music legends don’t even agree. Etheridge says her breast cancer was her fault, but Crow says “You can’t say ‘I did this, and that’s why I got cancer.’ You have to not beat yourself up.” Where Etheridge tells women not to get tested, Crow recommends regular mammograms.

Oncologists, radiologists, and other authorities have spent years trying to determine when mammograms are most useful in screening for breast cancer. It’s comforting to know that Etheridge and Crow think the matter is settled, even if they happen to disagree completely.

What would a reader of the AARP magazine, which goes out to 22 million readers, take away from this article? Much of what these two pop singers say about breast cancer is untrue–or worse, silly–and they don’t even agree on the misinformation they’re dispensing. What’s worse, the Etheridge/Crow guide to breast cancer also appeared in the AARP Bulletin–which means two sets of AARP editors signed off on it.

The AARP is generally a solid source of health information. It sells health insurance. How it could have let this piece creep into print and pixels is a mystery.

And I’m being polite here. Xeni Jardin at boingboing called this a “vomit-inducing, quackery-filled breast cancer piece.” Whew.

File this under “asleep at the editor’s desk.” And if you want to hear more from Etheridge and Crow, turn to iTunes–not the AARP.

-Paul Raeburn