Ashley Moody steadfastly refuses to be thankful for anything this Thanksgiving, saying she just wants to be left alone to mess about on her iPad.

‘I’ve got important things to do. Social networking obligations. My family just doesn’t understand me. Why would I want to sit around with them eating turkey – or ‘shit chicken’ as I call it – when I could be working on getting a couple of extra followers on Twitter or Instagram,’ said Ashley.

Her complaints were taken on board by her father who privately called her ‘An ungrateful little shit,’ but publicly pleaded with her to come downstairs and spend time with her Grandma who ‘Might not have many Thanksgivings left.’

Ashley though remains locked in her room, making various little videos and pictures of herself to the general apathy of the internet.

‘Do you know what I would be thankful for?’ Ashley asked us. ‘A couple of retweets now and again. One day I’m totally going to be a star, so if you want to get onboard the gravy train this is the best time.’



Sadly the gravy boat on the dining room table has so far been left untouched by Ashley.