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All the crazies have come out of the closet empowered by Trump, encouraged by Huckabee. The trouble is, they sound silly, like a bunch of Minions, barely intelligible and just as clueless. I mean, you have to at least know where Tehran is, right, Tom Cotton?

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX), no stranger to over-the-top rhetoric, who wants to shut down the government (again) this time over Planned Parenthood, put on his tough-guy persona and after accusing the Obama administration of “snuggling up to” radical Islamic regimes, repeated his challenge made on Hannity Monday, telling Dana Loesch that he wants President Obama to engage him in a one-on-one debate over nuclear deal with Iran, “and if he can’t be pulled off the golf course then he can send as a proxy Secretary Kerry.”

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“I challenged President Obama to debate me, not on the rhetoric he keeps throwing around, but on the substance of this deal,” Cruz claimed.

So Obama is the guy throwing rhetoric around, not Republicans like Cruz? Like Huckabee’s “oven door” comments? Like Cruz’s accusation that Obama’s deal with Iraq is the ‘Jihadist Stimulus Bill’? That’s not rhetoric? That’s substance?

How does he keep a straight face? Find out if you can. Listen courtesy of Right Wing Watch:

I’m not even going to get into here the fact that Ted Cruz wants to established a radical Christian regime here in America, with himself as the self-appointed messiah and his father as his high priest. I’d rather talk about Cruz’s desire to be publicly humiliated on live television.

What’s funny is hearing anyone from the debate-sensitive Republican Party say, as Cruz did to Hannity, “Let’s do it in front of the American people.”

This is the party that shuns the specter of open – let alone televised – debate. They’d rather just take secret votes and sneak things like abortion bans into human trafficking, or even agriculture bills.

The idea of a debate between the two men is laughable – Ted Cruz with his lazy approach to politics (he doesn’t even know how the Senate works, after all) – versus the constitutional lawyer Obama, who actually does apply himself to the job.

I don’t think, frankly, that Cruz has the intellectual chops to stand up to our president in a man-to-man debate on any issue. I suspect he would prefer Obama continued golfing.

All Obama would need to do for a win is say, “Please proceed, Senator,” and step back as Cruz promiscuously ejaculates his position publicly and repeatedly until we all laugh and go home. I think Cruz will be distracted by the fact that Trump tapped Sarah Palin before he could.

Well, the early bird gets the worm.

Whatever. These are strong words from a guy like Cruz, who spends most of his own time taking days off from working – Politico called him the “no-show Senator” in April – and who doesn’t bother to actually do any work when he does show up to work, unless it’s shutting down the government so nobody can work.

Politico told us that,

[Cruz] skipped the vast majority of Armed Services Committee hearings, is below-average in attendance on his other major committees and ranks 97th during the first three months of this year in showing up for roll call votes on the Senate floor.

We are told that Cruz thinks not showing up for work as expected – as he is paid to do – is “bucking the system,” but apparently the president, who works far longer and harder hours, can’t take a day off now and then for a golf game.

There is a non-political term that applies here: “hypocritical jerk-wad.” Maybe it is used more inside the Beltway than I realize. It is certain widely applicable.

President Obama, attacked by Republicans while on a historic diplomatic trip to Kenya and Ethiopia – the first president in United States history to make that trip – is forced to take time off to answer his attackers, but rather than being humbled by their act of attacking the president while he’s overseas doing his job, they let Trump speak for the pack and accuse Obama of attacking them while overseas.

You know, while they’re busy campaigning and stuff.

You do know, gentlemen, that the voters are watching your antics. It isn’t the president’s sharp tongue that you need to worry about. It is us, on Election Day 2016.

I don’t know how the fabric of our shared reality can withstand such repeated blows. Like our Republican friends, I’m not a scientist. I can only assume the universe is made from some very tough stuff.

Fortunately for us.

Let’s be serious for a moment: Ted Cruz is the guy who canceled a press conference in order to avoid answering questions about Donald Trump. You think he’d actually show up to debate a more intelligent, better prepared opponent like President Obama, who regularly takes the media’s lunch?

Lazy do-nothings like Ted Cruz would do best to keep their mouths shut until they have an actual record of accomplishment. As of now, he has not earned the right to challenge President Obama on any issue, let alone something as important as the Iran deal.