My box showed up through the carrier pigeons the very day after Christmas, as the one lone gift that fell behind the couch. The surprise and excitement from having one last gift. It was maddening. I ripped the box open to shreds to find more shreds to rip to shreds then suddenly, the bounty appeared, nestled in the center of this USPS box of joy.

The first gift was Dragon Age Inquisition, a definite must for me. I'm sorry sweet daughter, daddy will be busy for the next month and a half.

Shredding deeper into shreds, I see a glistened, hidden by the savage forest of ripped paper. I hold it and the power surges through my body. I know not of what this artifact is, but only that it must hold a treasure of great capability. I rip at it but the bonds are too strong. Unsheathed is my trusty dagger which finishes the job. And to my awe, lies the fabled Gameboy Color. My hands tremble and sweat pools upon my brow. I turn it around and out of the heavens a light shines down and shows me the wonder that is the only top down shooter on this planet that matters for a damn, SOLAR STRIKER! My hand impulsively moves to the power switch and with the grace and goodness of the electronic over beings it gains power and the game is clear. I stand in front of all of my family members squealing and pressing the buttons until I am told that there are more treasures in the box.

And to this leads me to find another one of said Gameboy Colors with ANOTHER copy of Solar Striker, ready to go as well. Clearly, this was intended to be for my daughter, in the months ahead of my being locked away playing Dragon Age and Solar Striker. Take this offering Child, and use it to prosper. One day your skills shall be challenged.

Deeper in the endless pit of generosity that was the package, I uncover a shard of the purest cotton. And pinned to the shard were elements that still represent yet another bit of my childhood. There were in all 9 South Park pins, each representing another foul mouthed member of the schoolyard misfits. How I reminisced and held them close thinking about the laughs I had watching an anal probe emit from Cartman's anus. "El oh el!" I say and again, my family stares and wonders about my mental stability. No matter.

Along side the pins I find miniature statuettes of the plastic variety, of all of my favorites South Park friends! Some of which I remember holding as a small child, reciting along the words on the television to a show that clearly was beyond the recommended age rating for me and my feeble mind. I overflowed with happiness and my child had to lift me u[p off the floor, as best a child with such undeveloped upper body muscles. Enough so, the tell me that she was taking a set of the 4 main characters for herself, as she also loves South Park and wishes to experience the same joy as I did at close to her age. The gift was shared, she was happy. A tear fell from my eyes. And and then she showed me the set of Stickers I had missed as well. She will not be having those.

Thank you mysterious obese bearded man in red in the sky! You secured the essence of the holiday as best as I've ever seen. I was brought back to my childhood at a time most needed, and not only that, but was able to share it with the love of my life. Thank you secret Santa! :)