This is a video of the Magic Candy Factory 3D gummi printer. It can print 15 - 20 gram gummi candies in 3 - 10 minutes using 10 different colors and flavors. I am going to print so many schnazzleberry penises, it's going to be ridiculous. I am going to be like Scrooge McDuck swimming in his money, except gummi peens. Take a dip with me? "No thank you." You can't swim, can you? "Oh, I can swim." Then don't act like you've never swam in dongs before. "I was in college!" Hey -- I'm not here to judge, I'm just here to get somebody to play Marco Polo with me.

Keep going for a video of the gummi printer in action.

Thanks to TC, who is just going to stick to buying packages of Sour Patch Kid Watermelons from 7-11. Awesome, grab me a Nesquick and a Big Bite while you're there.