Stefon does DC

It started innocently enough:





SNL’s Stephon does #fakedcbars: “D.C.’s hottest bar is Bipartisan. It’s got interns, a Kennedy cousin and a midget named Cloture Motion.” — Cynthia (@crkmccabe) May 30, 2013

.@crkmccabe You know, that thing, when a senator props his speech on an intern’s back, then makes fun of his glasses. — Kyle Weidleman (@kweidleman) May 30, 2013

Then I went to lunch, and the hits started rolling:

DC’s hottest bar is: Dave & Filibusters. Started by 120-year-old mascot aficionado, Strom Furmond, this bar has everything… #fakedcbars — Kyle Weidleman (@kweidleman) May 30, 2013

…blue blazers, penny loafers, the statue from the Capitol dome animated by voodoo… and Human ID badges… #fakedcbars — Kyle Weidleman (@kweidleman) May 30, 2013

…you know, that thing, when a midget who looks like you carries around a picture frame and clips himself to your belt. #fakedcbars — Kyle Weidleman (@kweidleman) May 30, 2013

DC’s hottest bar is: T.G.I. Fillmore’s. Located thru a magic portal at 9 ¾ Street NW, this bar has everything… #fakedcbars — Kyle Weidleman (@kweidleman) May 30, 2013

…clipboard-carrying canvassers, a minor league hockey team, ACTUAL donkeys & elephants… and human bike lanes… #fakedcbars — Kyle Weidleman (@kweidleman) May 30, 2013

…you know, that thing, when a bunch of interns lay down in a line in a gentrified neighborhood and hipsters ride fixies on them. #fakedcbars — Kyle Weidleman (@kweidleman) May 30, 2013

UPDATE: One more for the road:

DC’s hottest bar is: You again?! Speeding down the Beltway’s HOV lane at 90 miles an hour, this bar has everything… #fakedcbars — Kyle Weidleman (@kweidleman) May 30, 2013

…spear-clutching bald eagles, a pyramid with a floating eye, WILLIE GEIST… and human food trucks… #fakedcbars — Kyle Weidleman (@kweidleman) May 30, 2013

…you know, that thing, when a midget on roller skates sells you a sandwich and then gets shut down by the mayor’s office. #fakedcbars — Kyle Weidleman (@kweidleman) May 30, 2013

UPDATE 2: Okay. One more:

DC’s hottest bar is: Long John Boehner’s. Found at center court at an unattended Wizards game, this bar has everything… #fakedcbars — Kyle Weidleman (@kweidleman) May 30, 2013

…snakes falling out of trees, 100% humidity, @chefjoseandres in a 1970s track suit… and who’s that?! #fakedcbars — Kyle Weidleman (@kweidleman) May 30, 2013