Dear fellow members of Team Pete,

This is an open letter and part vent. Like you, my candidate of choice in the Democratic presidential primary is South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg. “Mayor Pete”, as we like to call him, and Chasten Buttigieg, his husband, have generally been very positive, focusing on togetherness, empathy, service, and of course, community. Among many messages that tied me to the campaign and inspired me to support Buttigieg’s run for the nomination, there was this overlying theme of intersectionality. And within the operation of the campaign itself, there has been a noticeable dependence on personal relationships. So let’s talk about how some of you have been acting against the interests of the campaign by being total schmucks. Full disclosure: I am not a paid staffer of Pete for America, nor am I volunteer through the campaign. I’m a donor and a grassroots supporter based out of Philly.

“Chris, I’m not a schmuck!” you might object. And perhaps you aren’t, and the following need not apply, but I’d recommend reading this anyway. As many fervent supporters are aware, the campaign released its Rules of the Road (ROTR) back in May. These are values that were originally meant solely for campaign staffers, but after they got leaked, became a thing for the wider public. The majority of supporters take these to mean that these should be personal values, and many of them are common sense. However, there are those of you who have wielded the ROTR like a cudgel, bashing anyone and anything that doesn’t toe the line 100%. Some of you have the hypocritical gall to rightfully go after Sanders and his most virulent supporters for pushing purity politics, and then go after Mayor Pete’s *own supporters* because they cuss, because they’re a little meaner than you, or God forbid don’t agree with everything he says or does. I have news for you: NO ONE WILL AGREE WITH SOMEONE 100% OF THE TIME ON ALL THINGS. Look, I love Pete. I think he’d make a great President and I intend to vote for him, donate, and volunteer for him. I will not tell people that they don’t have a place here because they don’t agree with me or Mayor Pete on everything or, God forbid, because they critique him. Mayor Pete Buttigieg is a grown man and a former Afghan vet with a phenomenal staff. They don’t need *you* to act like a stereotypical white suburban house wife who calls the Homeowners Association on her neighbors because their lawn is half an inch taller than HOA Code 2.1.7 stipulates.

I’ve seen members of this campaign following the ROTR to beneficial places, not for them or the campaign, but for their community. By volunteering their time and services to good works. By supporting people who feel alone or left out without plugging in a mention of Mayor Pete. By being good. And I have seen supporters who have bastardized the well meaning ROTR into a tool to bully others. And I won’t stand for it. This behavior is vile and contrary to the ideals of the campaign and this candidate. It is exclusionary. And it is making people feel unwelcome, people who have every right to be a part of this campaign. We call out Bernie Bros for being toxic. It is high time we look into our own actions and reflect on what we’re doing wrong. So here’s what has been going wrong, and here’s what you can do better:

Stop tokenizing black, brown, and LGBTQ supporters

We all know how it feels to be validated. We like having our views affirmed. And sometimes we put *certain* voices on a pedestal. A “model supporter”, if you will, of a certain demographic. This conduct is uncomfortable for the above mentioned folks. Rather than drag us into your Twitter arguments or using us as props like a certain Trump does, focus on what the campaign has said. You can talk about the Douglass Plan without tagging every black person or pundit that you know. It’s cringey, and it probably makes Lis Smith (the queen of comms and Pete’s comms advisor) feel uncomfortable. Not to mention it, again, makes *us* feel uncomfortable. PS stop saying black people are homophobic and that’s why Pete doesn’t do well with black voters. Fuck off with that. As a white gay man, that shit punditry has no place here.

Stop policing language and tone

Guess what, it’s not against ROTR to cuss. Bitch. Ass. Dick. Damn. Fuck. And lo, Mayor Pete did not strike me down, Chasten (Pete’s loving and super positive husband) didn’t suffer a heart attack, and their two rescue dogs haven’t died. We’re all human. We all have our own styles of writing and speaking. Buttigieg supporters are allowed to express their support or disapproval however they like. And newsflash, Twitter wasn’t made for you to be comfortable. If you don’t like what someone says, there is an unfollow button, there is a mute button, and there is a block button. You don’t get to gather a mob to doxx and harass someone who called you a bitch for policing her language and tone. And you don’t get to report her, ironically, for harassment.

Listen. Be patient. And chill.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just listen and be patient, and it doesn’t hurt to pull the stick from your ass. That’s it. If a black person is saying that they don’t like Pete Buttigieg, rather than saying that X black person supports them or ramming Pete down their throat, listen to why. Why don’t they like Pete? His mannerisms? A policy? How he handled the Logan shooting? Be patient. A tweet or comment sent is out there forever. And chill. Seriously. Just…do less.

Be nicer

I don’t mean “I sat next to patients at a hospice and told a nurse I did it to be like Pete”. I don’t mean “Don’t curse.” I mean be nicer to people because they’re fucking people. That’s it. That’s the Tweet. The leaders we look up to can bring out the best in us or the very worst. For many, I’ve seen Pete bring out the best in people. Others have been reacting the opposite way. And it shows and it hurts. It pushes otherwise supportive and interested people away. It makes people feel unwelcome. And it’s not what Pete wants. So, for Pete’s sake, take a break. Sit in the corner. And think about how you’ve been going about the last few months. This campaign is going to grow and it’s going to get more heated. And while all of us need to prepare for that, if you read this and felt like any of this applied to you, then guess what, you have more work than the rest of us. Get started.