Ms. Ricketts suggested asking yourself: “Whose comfort is being centered?” If you are sacrificing your feelings to accommodate someone else’s, a boundary ought to be applied.

If your partner is joining you this season, be honest about what the two of you can expect. As uncomfortable as it may be, don’t withhold information that could be potentially harmful, like insensitivities, prejudices or phobias related to same-sex or mixed-race relationships that may exist in your family.

It’s best to avoid surprises, and imperative to prioritize your partner’s comfort. Once your partner is aware, give the option of not participating, without consequence or judgment.

If you reach consensus, establish a game plan. The allegiance and alignment of the partnership will get you through bumps should they arise. Create a code word or gesture to indicate if or when you or your partner becomes uncomfortable and needs to take a break. Go lie down, meditate or take a walk.

Ms. Ricketts, who has navigated racially fraught scenarios firsthand, said, “Prior to any family gathering, both of you can get clear on your boundaries: what actions, statements and behaviors you will and will not tolerate from you or your partner’s family, and practice honoring them together. If steps cannot be put in place prior to the holidays, or if it still feels too unsafe, then it may be best to sit this one out.”

While a mutually supportive strategy is crucial, you must also prepare for the unexpected. Alana Kaufman, a psychotherapist in New York, advised that festivities are frequently unpredictable.