a charming bunch of rejects and fuck-ups

I was riding the escalator from the Chuo line platform down into the main concourse of Tokyo station. The escalators criss cross in the typical way that allows you to see people on the opposite escalator. Right as I passed it I saw another foreigner—a gaijin. As we passed he smiled and nodded at me in recognition. I couldn’t help but to involuntarily smirk before I realized the absurdity of doing so. I’m not antisocial or mean but I don’t see why strange gaijin are so eager to be so familiar with me.



It seems that something strange happens when a small group of foreigners is put in a place where they are very easily apparent to one another (Japan being populated with black-haired Asian people, brown haired whities tend to stick out). On more than one occasion I was walking through a busy train station—let it be Shinjuku or Tokyo, whatever—and I spotted another gaijin, always white, and unwittingly made brief eye contact. If this ever happens back home or any place where there is an abundance of white people, there is no effect. But in Japan this brief recognition of a fellow foreigner gets me a nod or a smile or even a –sup. This is so fucking weird. I don’t know these people and where do they get the notion that we are in some elite club of honkies carousing around Tokyo giving each other secret handshakes?



Clearly I’m offended. But that brings me to another interesting phenomenon among some gaijin in Japan: hatred of other gaijin. For some reason I relish in the fact that I’m here, and I want nothing more than to be one of a select few foreigners in Tokyo so that I may be a wonderful and unique snowflake to which everyone Japanese can desperately flock. Why is this? Because I was a loser back home and I have a fleeting chance to be the cool center of attention. It’s pathetic, I know. The thing is I’ve spoken with many foreigners who share this odd sentiment. I hope we’re not all pathological narcissists but rather this is some psychological effect of being an obvious expatriate in a foreign country, particularly a nation which tends to glorify western (especially American) culture.



Though I sound like a complete asshole, I’m actually very cordial when I meet other foreigners and usually return their acknowledgements rather warmly. As for desiring to be the only foreigner in all of Japan and enviously resenting other foreigners—in truth most of my friends are not Japanese (though I really want to befriend more locals to practice speaking but all I do is work and work is populated with English speaking gaijin). Maybe that’s the source of my frustrations. I came here to be friends with Nihonjin and to speak Nipponese with them, but instead I’m friends with a bunch of fucking Americans. At least the mainland Europeans I’m friends with are a step in the right direction.



The fortunate thing is, despite not achieving the cultural exchange I’d like, I do really like the expatriates I’ve met. They’re an eccentric and charming bunch of rejects and fuck-ups. I love ‘em.