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Holy moly Guacamole, now let’s do the great Talk Is Cheap, Keith Richards’ first solo album. Released October 3, 1988 on Virgin and produced by Keith and Steve Jordan, the album was made during the Stones’ mid eighties hiatus due to Keith and Mick Jagger’s feud. Going into this record, Keith assembled The X-Pensive Winos as a backing band. Aside from Keith, the band consisted of Steve Jordan on drums, Ivan Neville on keyboards, Sarah Dash on backing vocals, Charley Drayton on bass, and why, it’s former Warren Zevon and Stevie Nicks guitarist and kiddie porn enthusiast Waddy Watchel. Okay to be fair, the girls in those pics did not look fifteen! More like fourteen.

In addition to that ragtag bunch, we have Bobby Keys, Mick Taylor, Bootsy Collins, Bernie Worrell, Chuck Berry pianist Johnnie Johnson, and Maceo Parker among others appearing on the album. Pretty fuckin epic roster, but that’s the Human Riff for you. So let’s proceed to the album shall we?

1. “Big Enough” (Keith Richards/Steve Jordan):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xUWwloAToSE

“Big Enough”, The opening track to this album that features not one not even two but three former Parliament-Funkadelic members in keyboardist Bernie Worrell, bassist Bootsy Collins, and saxophonist Maceo Parker, the latter two having also played with James Brown. So the Funk is strong with this one.

And damn. The way the piano roll kicks in and then the way Bootsy and Steve Jordan deliver that fat bottom groove along with Keith’s vocals that has such a great flow to it, very relaxed and in control and the backing vocals are really tasteful as well. This is a great opening track and really, I just want to hear more.

2. “Take It So Hard” (Richards/Jordan):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vbaiQ00gywI

And now we enter some classic Stones territory with “Take It So Hard”. And funny enough, Steve Jordan plays bass while Charley Drayton plays drums on here.

This track is basically almost everything that you wish the last few Stones albums had been-Straight up, no nonsense rock and roll. No glossy production, no half baked attempts at chasing whatever’s current, just Keef doin what Keef do best. This is such an awesome track and a way to let you know “if you’re lookin’ for Stones, well here I am”.

3. “Struggle” (Richards/Jordan):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NOh1rl2fKUI

Oh yeah, that nice and nasty riff is just pure gold. The groove so relaxed while Keith delivers a real punch to the gut in both vocals and guitar.

Although the riff is pure Stones, the groove isn’t Wyman and Watts by any means, it has that real funky character to it that Wyman and Watts really don’t have by and large. But it works brilliantly in this song, Steve Jordan is a fantastic drummer, good enough to take the place of the mighty Al Jackson Jr in Booker T & The MGs. And Charley Dayton, primarily a drummer but a great bassist as well.

One of my favorites on here, let’s see…. ya know, this is my favorite along with another coming up.

4. “I Could Have Stood You Up” (Richards/Jordan):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KWw1tJm28RY

And now Keith lets out his inner Chuck Berry with “I Could Have Stood Up”, with the great Johnnie Johnson on piano from Chuck Berry’s band. In addition, Mick Taylor is apparently on this track as well. That said, I don’t really hear him on this song.

That said, what an awesome, awesome track that is a total throw back to the fifties rock and roll style and is still very much its own thing. Keith does some great gutsy vocals while we get some fantastic doo wop harmonies.

What a classic, classic song, and my favorite on here.

5. “Make No Mistake” (Richards/Jordan):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fzaGj96p8Q0

From Chuck Berry to Stax, we get “Make No Mistake”. We even get The Memphis Horns to perform on here.

Keith is not really known as a great singer, but he brings the gravelly soul to this track, and Sarah Dash? She’s an excellent counterpoint to Keith on this track and really adds to the Stax vibe of this song. And the organ solo is just tops, icing on the already delicious cake.

6. “You Don’t Move Me” (Richards/Jordan):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a1ObhEIEj98

“You Don’t Move Me”. This is Keith talking about his issues with Mick at the time of the album’s making.

For those that don’t know, The Stones signed a deal with CBS Records In about 83, and Mick used this to score a solo deal behind the rest of the band’s back. This really pissed Keith off and they spent most of the eighties never actually talking to each other, and this following Keith detoxing from the Big H and trying to regain control of the band. So yeah, a lot of anger in this track.

The track is Keith’s foray into reggae, mixed in with his usual rock and roll. The mixture of acoustic and electric guitars is pure excellence and the groove is great, the background vocals is Grade A! The organ, I worship Bernie Worrell, but I hate that reggae/ska type of organ, it’s so cornball sounding, but I can deal with it here.

Lyrically, the song has Keith just venting his frustration and ultimately his disappointment with Mick and I can feel him on this one, I’ve certainly felt disappointment in people that I considered friends.

This is an excellent song, awesome track. Compared to “How Do You Sleep?”? Lyrically I will take this song but musically I’ll take that one.

7. “How I Wish” (Richards/Jordan):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BUsakTNhiFk

“How I Wish”, another rocker on here.

The band is super solid on here. There is some sweet piano work on here by Ivan Neville, the guitar work is so tight, and I just need to say it again: I love Keith’s voice. It’s not a technical voice but there’s such feeling and passion in it that it transcends anything else. And that guitar solo, it’s awesome, just pure rock and roll. Keep it simple stupid. He does damn good here, especially since Waddy was busy doing research.

What a fantastic song man, just threat.

8. “Rockawhile” (Richards/Jordan):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gFtoRgk7RvQ

We get a little funky now, with Bernie taking the clavinet to aid.

This was a song that I was kind of lukewarm towards initially, but after a few listens? Man… what a groove dude. The rhythm section sounds so sexy on here, the song just feels so right. And I can see Bernie playing his part while just nodding away like he knows he is into something real good. And then you add Keith’s vocal, ragged against the smooth groove, and it works like magic.

God man, this song is just sooooo good man, what a classic track.

9. “Whip It Up” (Richards/Jordan):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mDpBSGls2ME

Alrighty, let’s whip it up.

It’s not reinventing the wheel by any means but it’s a good solid rocker. Let me put it this way; on Steel Wheels or Bridges To Babylon, this would be one of the best songs on those records. On here with all this killer stuff, this is just another track.

It’s a decent tune overall, don’t mind it. Filler, but filler I can hang with.

10. “Locked Away” (Richards/Jordan):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yxXen29Ekh0

And now the other ballad of the album, “Locked Away”.

This is such a beautiful song that perfectly captures the fear and jealousy and just how ugly and unpleasant it feels. And I usually can’t stand the accordion but it works brilliantly on here. This is an absolutely fantastic song, enough of that “Place Is Empty” crap, this is the shit right here.

11. “It Means A Lot” (Richards/Jordan):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oiPldYx_9OU

Now to go out with a bang with the awesome “It Means A Lot”.

First, Steve Jordan is a bad mothafucker. The way he sets that groove, the way he makes it breath and flow and just makes you feel good man. It’s not the same as Charlie Watts but it’s very effective in its own right in complimenting Keith, who is on the mark here. You can go on about technical schmechnical, few can set a rhythm and a feel like the Human Riff so fuck your technical bullshit. I love Steve Vai, but fuck him, Keith Richards. Love Steve Howe, but fuck him too, Keith Richards.

And man, what a great, funky track this one is. And one of the absolute best on this already great album.

FINAL VERDICT

Listen to this album, mothafucker!