Finally received my gift from my Secret Santa and was super excited when my wife texted me with the good news from the post office. The box was bulging a little bit but had no idea what was in store for me. When I opened the box, this giant panda practically popped out at me. As a grown man, I was a little hesitant at first but over the past couple days it's grown on me.

For the past eight years it's been just my wife and I. When you're married without kids, there's still room for selfishness and I think that's how I approached this Secret Santa. I thought about how I couldn't wait to get something I wanted so when I received a giant stuffed panda, I was wondering how this wasn't really something I wanted. I still loved the gift since Panda is a nickname I've carried for most of my Air Force career, plus most of my usernames consist of the word Panda. But how did my secret santa come to the conclusion of a plush panda? Then I remembered what I wrote in my profile.

My wife and I are expecting our first child! Miles Evan Phan is expected to be here within the next few weeks. I couldn't be more excited! This gift isn't just for me but for my family as well. Switches in my mind have slowly been flipping into dad mode and this gift triggered one of them. Soon I will be caring for a small child, a child that my wife and I created. That's where this gift has changed it's meaning for me. This panda is a plush representation of myself. If I was a toy, I would be this giant fluffy panda and it will belong to Miles. Being in the military, my job will take me far from my family despite me wanting to or not. But no matter where I go, Miles will have this stuffed panda to hold at night, to remember me by until I can come home again.

Thank you secret santa. I absolutely love this gift and my family and I thank you.