ME Terrible! But that started with Bush. Shame on O for not stopping it before we got caught. So are you a Snowden fan for outing that?

HER Nope. I say beating up the new guy is a waste of time and energy that could be used to solve real problems like the ones you talk about.

A few days later, we kept the conversation going, with her arguing that the president was subject to excessive scrutiny.

HER He is not the first to have bad form. Sadly the powers that be overturn every rock, scab, and snicker he makes to make him seem worse. Not even Obama could withstand such scrutiny. All the time! For months at a time. That was his job as a businessman. WTH?! He made money. Why hate on that? He wasn’t Madoff!

ME Obama HAD such scrutiny ALL THE TIME. You’re in some alternate reality now if you’re suggesting otherwise. His birth certificate, his fist bump with his wife, his tan suit, his salute with coffee in his hand, his golfing, his wife not covering her head in Saudi. Then more criticism when she did cover it in a mosque (protocol like meeting the pope), her shorts, their daughters’ expressions and skirt lengths, his bowing to Saudis and I could go on!

Many times she urged me to calm myself, ignore the words and focus on the policies. In the summer, after John Kelly was appointed as the chief of staff, I wrote to ask what she thought of him and whether he would be able to manage a boss who seemed to prefer chaos and infighting. Her response: “Dunno.” That wasn’t quite good enough for me. I responded:

“You don’t know your own reaction? None of us know how it will turn out of course. Are you on tranquilizers or anything? I know it’s been a year of change for you.” Luckily, I got an “LOL” back.

In August, we were discussing a friendship that had been under strain because of her vote and support for the president. I tried to explain how it looked to me — and perhaps to her friend. To many people, this president’s sloppy speech about nuclear weapons, his failure to promptly condemn violence by white supremacists, his lack of ethics and so on was particularly troubling. Supporting him meant condoning that. “I thought them mostly angry and misguided,” I wrote. “You knew you were among the reviled.”