Sky Sports pundit Jamie Carragher picks his worst 11 premier league performers of the season so far.

Goalkeeper

I’ve gone with Manchester UTD’s David De Gea between the sticks, not for any on-field howlers, but for making himself unavailable for selection at the start of the season. The club might have gotten off to a flier without all that Madrid shite

Left Back

This was a tough call, but I’ve gone with the boy Darmian from Manchester UTD. I think everybody expected the Italian to be less shite

Right Back

Hard to look past Manchester UTD’s Ashley Young for this position. Roy Keane said recently that Young isn’t a UTD player, and I think that’s not too far wide of the mark. He’s shite

Centre back

Martin Skrtel was in with a shout here, but I’ve gone for Manchester UTD’s Chris Smalling. In many ways he reminds me of myself at his age. Except shite

Centre back

I could have gone for Chelsea’s John Terry or Gary Cahill, but with Smalling in the other central berth, I’ve decided to pick Manchester UTD’s Daley Blind to preserve their shite partnership. It’s almost telepathic, how shite they are

Left midfield

This was a tough call. Chelsea’s Eden Hazard was a contender, but I’ve gone for the boy Martial from Manchester UTD. He started brightly, before turning shite

Right midfield

There’s been a few contenders for this spot, but I’ve gone for Manchester UTD’s Juan Mata. He’s a tremendous talent, for someone so shite

Midfield

I’ve dipped back into the Manchester UTD squad here, and gone with Schneiderlin. The former Southampton man may have been found out at this level. Pure shite

Midfield

Chelsea’s Matic was in with a shout here, but I’ve gone for Manchester UTD’s Bastian Schweinsteiger. It’s clear now that the German’s been telling porkie pies about his date of birth. If he’s less than 40 years old, then I’m a chinaman. Pure Scheiße

False 9

I was tempted to pick Chelsea’s Cesc Fabregas here, but I’ve gone with Manchester UTD’s Ander Herrera. He’s not had a lot of game time, which isn’t surprising when you consider that he’s shite

Striker

Chelsea’s Diego Costa was in contention here, but I couldn’t look past Manchester UTD’s Wayne Rooney. They’re both fat porkers and shite, but Rooney’s just been a half a yard shitter and porkier

Honourable Mentions: Marouane Fellaini (Manchester UTD), Memphis Depay (Manchester UTD), Phil Jones (Manchester UTD). All complete shite

(See here for Carragher’s Bottlers XI, or here for his Liverpool/Everton Merseyside XI)