That compulsion and exclusivity is masked by the perception of diversity within gay identity. “Nowadays, there are just as many plug-and-play identities, like twinks, bears, otters and dykes, and each comes with a hefty price tag if you want to ‘do them correctly,’” Mr. Burford said. These “plug-and-play” identities can make closeted L.G.B.T. people feel isolated and unseen. Even though it’s 2018, too many people are still concealing their identities, and the pomp and pageantry — and the cost of participating — of Pride Month doesn’t help.

“Being out at a festival is just too expensive for some people, especially people who are newly out in their attempt to get it right and connect with a community they have not really been a part of,” Mr. Burford said. “The economics of being out at Pride relies on the old idea that all gay people are rich, and as we know, this isn’t true. It gets really hard when your idea of gay is attached to expensive product placement.”

These socially and culturally enforced rules don’t stop at appearance: Even the “right” way to stand up for equal rights has changed since November 2016, putting a premium on political and social-justice affiliations within the community. Closeted people who aren’t yet plugged into the community are inundated with the so-called right and wrong ways to express their gender identity and sexual orientation.

“Folks are at different points of their coming-out journey,” said Delighted Tobehere, a drag queen based in New York City who travels around the United States to be a host of Pride and other L.G.B.T.-centered events. “While some people are looking for their next date, some people are just looking for a friend.”