BURLINGTON, VT—Astounded by his brazen lack of concern for their well-being, the crowd at The Showbox rock club reportedly couldn’t believe the balls on the frontman of indie-rock group Corinthian Leather, who sources said waited until the third song of his Tuesday night set to ask them how they were doing. “Are you kidding me? Who the fuck does this guy think he is?” said concertgoer Amelia Nelson, 27, one of many audience members stunned by the fact that two entire songs had elapsed before the lead singer demonstrated the slightest interest in how they were feeling. “Oh, now you want to ask me if I’m ready to rock? Well, guess what? It’s too late for that. Maybe just cut the banter, finish up your set, and get the fuck out of here, because you’ve already proved we don’t matter to you.” Audience members were later heard audibly scoffing when the frontman urged them to clap along as if he hadn’t just insinuated that they could all drop dead for all he cares.

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