Conservatives know how to KISS

A young musician knows he is in a good situation when a grayhair says to him, "Hey, kid, keep it simple, stupid." If the youth is of a conservative bent, he heeds the advice and brushes off the insult. The result is a smoother flow and enhanced pleasure for both player and listener. The kid also benefits by receiving supplementary and superior engagements. When in public, conservatives opt, without thought, for the restroom that nature assigned them. The liberal must stand in front of the doors, trying to decide which sex he identifies with today. This causes a line of increasingly uncomfortable people to form behind him. The result is – pardon me – no flow and no progression.

If pulled over by the police for a traffic violation, conservatives place the car keys on the dashboard to assure the officer that he is safe and then interact with that policeman formally and respectfully. The conservative wants this bad situation to end as well as possible, and he knows that the policeman feels the same way. He also knows that the officer's wife feels the same way, but three-step thinking is beyond the liberal capacity. The liberal must immediately begin railing about injustice and quite possibly lets it slip that he is in favor of death for pigs. This never ends well. Conservatives get along with everybody. They focus on family, friends, work, and pleasant recreation. Liberals cannot abide people who aren't obsessed with liberal politics, and so they narrow the pool of acceptable acquaintances. They have to write articles explaining how to get along with family members on Thanksgiving – how to lead the conversation, how to instruct Uncle Earl about the benefits of illegal immigration. Only a liberal can obsessively overthink a turkey dinner to the point of dread, and only a liberal would presume to write a monograph upon the subject. Conservatives laugh and hug because enjoying the companionship of loved ones is life at its simple best. They stand in the driveway and wave goodbye as guests drive off. Conservatives accept human nature as reality. They know there is bad and good in every person and that condition will remain constant through successive generations. Conservatives wish to change the outside forces that play negatively upon social interaction; in this way conservatives hope to attain a lean toward our better nature and thus achieve a level course through life for everybody. Liberals cannot tolerate human nature; they must strive throughout their life to change people. This plays out in social and corporate farce; if one employee makes a misstep, all employees are required to attend retraining classes. A conservative would merely hold a quick and friendly meeting with the principals; this gathering would end in sincere apologies from both sides and a warm handshake. Conservatives are of good cheer and recognize that life, which is difficult, can be navigated into calm seas without any attendant smashed windows or goofy histrionics. So we know liberals can't KISS. What further they can't do is something to consider.