by Joseph Grazier

LOS ANGELES — Following a semester spent in Melbourne, USC Junior Tommy Barotta has come back, in his words, a “changed man.”

“It’s not just the new tan or Australian dollars,” continued Barotta, “Travelling just really changes your outlook, your worldview. Instead of spending all of my time around rich, white, liberal Americans, I was able to spend some time around middle class, mostly white Australians–it really changes the way you think.”

“Also, classes there are stupid easy, which leaves lots of time for beer. And culture. Yeah, culture.”

While students at USC may spend their time watching football, going to downtown LA, and ‘occasionally’ indulging in marijuana, Barotta reports that Australian students are “totally different.” They watch Australian football, go to downtown Melbourne, and ‘frequently’ indulge in cocaine usage.

“Plus, it’s nice being the guy with an accent for once,” said Barotta. “Turns out Australian chicks are into that too. Apparently, for all our differences, we still have that in common.”

While USC offers programs in places like Cairo and Santiago, Barotta insisted he didn’t want to go anywhere ‘too weird’ to avoid sticking out.

“I didn’t want to be, like, the only one speaking English. That’d be awkward,” stated Barotta. “After all, you don’t go to Mexico and spend time outside of the resort.”

However, Barotta did claim he was interested in Asia, “because [he] heard they really like rich white guys over there.”

Tommy plans to spend another semester abroad in Edinburgh, Scotland, where he hopes to gain new insight into the merits of malt vinegar, scotch whiskey, and redheads.