Ouch. Catt Gallinger, a model from Ottawa, decided to tattoo her eyeball purple after being pressured by her boyfriend. Now, the partially blind beauty is ‘fighting’ to keep her eye!

Purple used to be Catt Gallinger’s favorite color, but after this horrific ordeal, that may no longer be the case. “Here’s how my eye is currently,” the 24-year-old Ottawa model wrote in a Nov. 27 update on Facebook. She shared pictures and a video of her eye, permanently damaged due to a botched tattoo procedure. “It’s sore and feels heavy, for lack of a better word, often…on Friday in the early morning to take another look at it and discuss the sedated surgery option.”

Catt underwent sclera staining around the start of September 2017. “I have a lot of my friends who have had [sclera tattoos] done and have had it done well. It was something I was interested in,” she told TIME. She also said that she didn’t do enough research and gave in too soon to pressure from her then-boyfriend, a body modification expert. Catt first revealed the damage by posting a shocking picture of her eye “crying” purple, taken from the day she underwent the tattoo.

“It hurt. It burned,” she told TIME. “At its worst, it’s like having a migraine and then also being punched in the face at the same time. It’s taken a big toll on my mental health.” She has since begun posting updates to her Facebook, showing her struggle – and desperation.

“Back to meds and figuring out my appointment next week to hopefully get sedated surgery..,” she wrote on Nov. 24. “This is beyond heartbreaking.. I CANNOT open it at all without significant effort. Since I’ve always been honest on here, I will continue to be. My hope is gone. I’m very close to asking for removal.. I’m so tired of it all.”

A sclera tattoo is more of a staining process. Ink and saline are mixed together and injected into the eye through a small needle. Catt claims her then-boyfriend didn’t mix the ink with any saline, used a large needle instead of a small one, went too deep into her eye and used one large injection instead of making several small dosages. “I’m not forgiving him. I won’t be leaving it alone,” she said. “I want him off the streets before he does something worse to someone else.”

Our thoughts are with Catt as she continues her healing process.