NEW YORK, NY – Best known for his soothing explanations of the inconceivable and for his somehow masterful use of social media as a middle-aged man, Neil deGrasse Tyson shocked fans last Friday by drunkenly announcing that the solar system is in fact a giant scam. “You IDIOST, all of youum<” he tweeted, followed by “SPACE?” followed by “Ican’t believe you fell for thay” followed by “final frontier = the core” followed by a short video of himself holding a wine glass and chanting “less shuttle, more drill” followed by the not-hasty-enough cancellation of his Twitter account.

No one is sure if he was serious, since he hasn’t made a comment since the incident. It unleashed a torrent of angry tweets which were equally unsure of the legitimacy of his claims, ranging from “get off the internet you lying scamface” to “how could you not tell us this before, Neil, we trusted you!”

NASA has also been unavailable for comment, mainly because they don’t have enough funding to purchase phones anymore. We can only hope Mr. Tyson will sober up soon enough to tell us more about drilling to the center of the Earth and how we can only achieve it with the help of science and engineering.