"Remember, there's only one Zlatan and this is Zlatan and this is my story." -- Zlatan Ibrahimovic (seriously)

And with that statement*, Milan striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic introduces what is claimed to be the world's first interactive biography app now available (in English) for the iPad. Based around his best-selling book, aptly titled "I am Zlatan," the app includes the full text of his story (some fantastic, Guardiola-bashing excerpts here), as well as an impressive number of images and videos all presented in a unique and visually pleasing interface at the price of $18.99 (£13.49/€14.99).

Having bought the app, I can say that it truly is impressive and endlessly entertaining (both intentionally and unintentionally). It features Zlatan's video breakdowns of some of his greatest goals ("The journalists said I was shouting, 'Zlatan, Zlatan!' But that's not true. I was yelling, 'Showtime, showtime!'"), an interactive map spotted with stories of Zlatan's travels, and, in a rare non-Zlatan moment, a stop-motion study of Retired Ronaldo's technique (IamZlatan.com has a full preview).

One of the very best features of the app, however, is Zlatan's explanation of all his tattoos. There are two interactive pages devoted to his tattoos (one for the front and one for the back) and some of his statements on their meaning are just delightfully Zlatan...

Some choice cuts:

-On the barely legible "ZLATAN" tattoo in white ink across his stomach: "My first tattoo was a white line on my belly. You could hardly see it. It was mostly a test."

-On the "Only God can judge me" text along the left side of his toreso: "The words are from a song by the rapper, Tupac. 'They could write whatever they wanted in the papers. Scream anything at all from the stands. They still couldn't get at me. Only God could judge me! I liked that.'"

-On the red dragon along the right side of his toreso: "In Japanese culture, the dragon represents a warrior, and I was a warrior."

-On the Japanese koi on his left shoulder: "A carp, the fish that swims against the current."

-On the five faces of Buddha in the center of his back: "They stand for the five elements, water, earth, fire, and so on."

Those last two elements are tricky to remember. Even for Zlatan.

*Somewhere, Zlatan Muslimovic is crying.