We’ve read many unfortunate tales of hockey parents doing terrible hockey parent things, including some that have gotten physical with their children’s opponents.

This is, perhaps, the first time we’ve read a tale in which the hockey parents allegedly assaulted a youth player … at the teams’ hotel.

According to Vermont police, Shawn Parks, 45, is accused of punching a 13-year-old boy in the head while his wife Laurie Parks kicked in the groin some college-aged men who tried to break up a fight.

They’ve pled not guilty to misdemeanor counts of simple assault.

Oh, were you worried this wouldn’t somehow also involve allegations of racism? Of course it does! From the Caledonian Record, with the names of the youth players initialed:

State Trooper Debra Munson wrote in her affidavit that she responded to a complaint from a father who said an adult man had punched his son in the head at Jay Peak on Jan. 24. William Harnett said his son’s team played a team from Ontario and it had gotten rough, with one player from Ontario requiring medical treatment at a hospital.

Banter – known as “chirping” - went on between the two teams back at the hotel. Harnett did not observe what happened, but told Munson his son’s account.

The U.S. boys were leaving the water park when they were confronted by R.P., the Parks’ son. R.P. made racist comments to one of the U.S. boys, and B.H. stood up for his friend. The U.S. boys left the area and went to the second floor.

R.P. and his parents showed up and R.P. once again made racist comments, Munson wrote, and B.H. again stood up for his friend.

Laurie Parks kept encouraging her son to fight B.H., Munson wrote, and eventually shoved her son into B.H. The boys began fighting, and Shawn Parks punched B.H. in the head, Munson wrote.

A few college-aged boys – Joel Devlin, Nathaniel Jones, and Adrian Boskovic - saw what was happening and restrained Shawn Parks to stop the fight. That’s when Laurie Parks “went crazy” and started attacking the college boys, according to witness accounts.

Boskovic said he saw Laurie Parks provoke the fight and push her son and saw Shawn Parks punch B.H. Boskovic said when he and his friends stepped in, Laurie Parks choked and scratched him and Shawn Parks bit his thumb. Laurie Parks dug her fingernails into Boskovic’s neck, drawing blood, then kicked him in the groin, Munson wrote.

The college guys told the police that Parks and Parks were “very drunk,” to the surprise of no one.

The Parks family denies provoking the fight, and Shawn Parks denies punching a child. According to the paper, Laurie Parks said “the college-aged boys were provoking a fight all night and a group of hockey players followed them to the pizza place at the hotel, where the mother of one boy accused her of eating her pizza.”

Just wanted to reiterate this wasn’t actually in The Onion ...

In other crazy hockey parent news, police in West Vancouver are recommending assault charges for two parents that got into a fight in the stands during a Bantam game.

Please don't make us make this a department, you weirdos.

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