Mar 4, 2015; New Orleans, LA, USA; New Orleans Pelicans forward Anthony Davis before a game against the Detroit Pistons at the Smoothie King Center. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

You are a sports fan, meaning you’ve accepted a life of constant and relentless prosecution. The highs make it all worth it; winning the #1 pick, watching your franchise player emerge, making the playoffs, but these moments of victory come at a price.

What’s that price? Fans of opposing NBA teams systematically trying to ruin your life.

Okay maybe they aren’t actually trying to ruin your life, but it feels that way. Every time someone makes a hyperbolic generalization, or a misinformed comment about your team, you feel the burden of coming to their defense.

That’s why I love sports. I love them because I love arguing, and sports is such a genius way to get people to argue with each other. Arguing about politics and religion and philosophy can get really messy in the wrong context, but sports? Sports you can argue until you turn blue and no one bats an eye.

The reason I’m writing this? I want Pelican’s fans to win those arguments.

I want them to have a cheat sheet to turn to when they feel that itch to lay the statistical smack-down on other NBA fan-bases. Below you, are the five most annoying, and inaccurate misconceptions about the Pelicans, and all you need to turn them on their heads.

I promise you that if you read through this, you will be armed with the ammo to defend your team throughout treacherously misinformed NBA offseason.

Let’s begin — starting with……..