Ah, the Golden Globes. It’s kind of like the Oscars if even fewer people cared about the Oscars. It’s what you watch when your DVR is busted and Netflix keeps on giving you that buffering wheel.

The big winners were “Green Book” for best comedy and “Bohemian Rhapsody” for best drama. Glenn Close won a surprise award for best actress in a drama, beating out Lady Gaga. That means “A Star is Born” got shut out of the major categories, which is pretty much good news in my book.

Oh, and there was politics. Did you think there wouldn’t be politics?

Christian Bale, who played Dick Cheney in “Vice,” thanked “Satan for giving me inspiration to play this role” in his acceptance speech, according to Fox News.

Co-host Andy Samberg, meanwhile, addressed “Black Panther” director Ryan Coogler with one joke, according to The Hollywood Reporter:

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“Ryan, were there a bunch of old members of the actual Black Panther Party saying, ‘I can’t even get an audition?’ Just kidding, they were all framed and murdered for wanting justice and equality.”

And then there were the not-jokey moments, like when Hollywood Foreign Press Association president Meher Tatna announced two $1 million grants to journalists’ organizations.

“Our work as journalists is under siege, which is why our mission to establish cultural ties as journalists in the United States is important. To that end, our members … have decided to expand our mandate,” she told the audience.

Yes, America is a nightmare for journalists, unlike the freedom enjoyed in places like China and Russia and Iran.

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But it wouldn’t be an awards show without gun control-loving Hollywood stars being guarded by people with guns, especially after what happened last month in Strasbourg, France, where five people were killed in an Islamist terrorist attack on a Christmas market.

“The recent attacks in Europe only reinforce that nothing can be left to chance tactically and strategically,” one law enforcement official told Deadline.

“Our plan is to have eyes everywhere and shut down any possible disturbance that could arise long before it gets anywhere near the venue or the event.”

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There would be the usual road closures and the like, together with a retinue of police who are heavily armed.

#LASD SEB Tactical Bomb Techs working behind the scenes to keep today’s @goldenglobes awards safe and fun for all. pic.twitter.com/WyPMWXGRf3 — SEB (@SEBLASD) January 7, 2019

As Deadline noted, “it’s quite common following these shooter attacks for local law enforcement to increase the number of snipers around the Hilton in an effort to protect attendees from any armed copycats of the tragedy in France.”

The ⁦@goldenglobes⁩ ⁦@BeverlyHillsPD⁩ briefings are underway! We are prepared to support the safety and security for another successful event! pic.twitter.com/37PxpDMP7g — Sandra Spagnoli (@Chief_Spagnoli) January 6, 2019

Wasn’t Samberg joking about how law enforcement officialdom was framing and murdering the Black Panthers? But don’t worry about him, he was saying it from behind a very large cordon protected by armed police officers who made sure he was very protected.

“As you might imagine, we are prohibited from discussing the specific security plans we have in place,” Beverly Hills Police Department spokesman Keith Sterling said in a statement.

“But this is an extensive, collaborative effort, with federal and local agencies assisting the Beverly Hills Police Department. We will be fully and adequately staffed for Sunday’s Golden Globes using the nation’s best practices for securing large-scale events.”

And best practices includes, no doubt, a lot of guns. A lot of barriers. A lot of walls. Does that sound familiar?

Here’s an attack dog and armed security standing by at the #GoldenGlobes to protect a bunch of celebrities who will be giving impassioned speeches about open borders and gun control. pic.twitter.com/rLwFt1N1vC — NotKennyRogers (@NotKennyRogers) January 7, 2019

It’s an old story: If Hollywood didn’t have double standards, they wouldn’t have any standards at all.

However, it’s always nice to point out the hypocrisy behind America’s most famous gun-grabbers and police-bashers.

Shame all of that security went toward an event that gets less relevant by the year.

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