This Cow Has Written an Article to Make You Feel Loved

Jul 28, 2018

We now present to you our finest piece of journalism.

By Cow #143, Prairie Du Sac, Wisconsin, Love’s Ranch

Moooo? Mooo? Mooooooo?

Mooo!

Planetary alignment, mooo?

Mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo mooo, mooo.

World hunger, baby jails, terrorism, Donald Trump. Mooo mooo mooo!

Moooooooooooom. Mooooom. Mom! I cradle you in the bosom of my milked teets.

Oooooooooom.

What do you get from pampered cows? Spoiled milk.

Mooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooomooonot as stupid as I look, my calf. Except that’s what the brain does: Judges and cuts and takes down and can’t see low in the high. Can’t see high in the low. Can’t see how precious this bubble really is. Oh such a bubble! Millions of bubbles dazzling around you on a wide open field of green and lapis lazuli. The joy. The joy in this countless sensory impermanence. Us cows feed here, you know. We can make it. You are needed. You are a cow. Your stomach has four compartments, one for each of the four directions, because your digestion stretches infinitely in all directions. This is your feast.

Moo. And you can too, baby.

Moooooooo sexy mooo mooo.

Mooo love you.