All Weiss could see was silver. Silver eyes staring down at her and red tipped hair tickling her face. She was entranced with Ruby – every sense she had was screaming Ruby's name. Her fingertips were shaking as she touched every bit of skin she could find. This…this was the scariest moment of her life but also the most alive she'd ever felt.

Ruby gasped when Weiss squeezed her firm backside and her head lowered just enough for Weiss to lean up and kiss her. Ruby kissed back and scooted forward just enough for Weiss' fingers to find their destination. It felt so surreal to be here, to be touching Ruby in such a way but it felt like she belonged here.

As if every moment of her life had led her to this point.

Ruby's head was suddenly between her neck and shoulder, gasping warm breath against Weiss' skin as she worked. A hand landed on Weiss' breast and Ruby's thumb brushed over her.

This cause Weiss to pick up the pace, blowing Ruby's hair out of her face as the heat started to overwhelm her. A moment later, Ruby's lips were on her neck, latched on and suckling against her pulse point. Weiss cried out her name, not giving a damn who might hear them. At this point she didn't even know where they were – it didn't matter. They could be atop the desk in her father's office, she didn't care.

Ruby drew back, but only to look at Weiss again. She tried to speak, but Weiss carefully maneuvered her thumb over Ruby's skin and silenced her. Her eyes went wide and then closed tightly as she whined. Weiss could feel Ruby shaking and swaying. She used her free hand to press onto Ruby's back, lowering her down to steady her.

Once Ruby's ear was close enough, she whispered.

"You're so beautiful. You're the most beautiful girl in the entire world." Ruby continued to quiver and pant against her and Weiss never stopped praising her. "Let go, Ruby. I've got you."

She screamed.

BZZT BZZT BZZT BZZT

Weiss' eyes shot open at the blaring sound that filled the air. She sat up, suddenly awake and unaware of her surroundings. She didn't recognize these walls or the blanket she was under.

Most of all, she was alone. Ruby was not on top of her and as Weiss looked around, Ruby wasn't anywhere near her.

BZZT BZZT

"Oh you insufferable…" Weiss turned and quickly shut off the alarm before taking a deep breath and putting her head in her hands.

It slowly started to come back to her. She was in Ruby's room. Upstairs and sleeping on an air inflated mattress that she had to put air into every night before bed because the stupid thing refused to maintain the air currently in it.

Those images or Ruby were all just a dream – perhaps a flashback? She couldn't tell, they were already fading as the sun poured in through the window.

She knew she should probably climb out of bed and go check on Ruby – who might need something from her. Weiss liked to set an early alarm to be up first because Ruby was never much for sleeping in.

Yet, she wasn't quite sure she was ready to move. While the details of her dream were scarce, the feelings were still very real and still humming through her entire body.

Weiss hated it, she hated these thoughts because they were making her life so much harder. She didn't want to have to check herself around Ruby. She'd improved since that day in the bathroom. Now that Violet was gone and Blake and Yang were gone, it was just her and Ruby and she'd stepped up.

In fact, she'd seen Ruby naked multiple times and had been able to maintain her composure and do her job.

Still, these dreams kept happening and they kept tearing down all the walls of resistance she built. It wasn't fair that Ruby had somehow managed to become even more beautiful than the girl Weiss literally referred to as the most beautiful girl in Remnant five years ago.

It wasn't fair, but it was the truth and it was slowly killing Weiss Schnee.

Another buzz made Weiss jump, only this one was softer and came from her pillow. She picked up her scroll and smiled at the message on her screen.

Are you awake?

No doubt Ruby had heard the noise of the alarm. Weiss took a few deep breaths and tried her best to focus on the color of the paint on the walls and how many handles Ruby's dresser had. Anything and everything that wasn't related to the thoughts of her dream.

After a quick count of ten, Weiss climbed off the air mattress – nearly falling over twice, and made her way downstairs.

Ruby was still lying in bed, unable to sit herself up just yet (though they were working on that with Ruby's physical therapist). She'd pushed her blankets down around her knees and was perched up just a bit on her elbows. Weiss stopped halfway down the stairs when Ruby looked at her and started giggling.

"What?" Weiss asked with a curious tilt of her head.

Ruby smiled and laid back on the bed to cover her mouth. "I'm sorry – I just forgot how wild your hair can get in the morning."

Instinctually, Weiss reached up and ran a hand through her hair. "Hey! I haven't had time to properly brush it in the last few days and I am sleeping on an inflatable deathtrap your sister purchased." She held no malice as she spoke because she didn't have any. As uncomfortable as the mattress was as true as it was that there was little time to go through her usual beauty routine – she hadn't the time care.

"It's not a bad thing, I think it's cute."

Weiss huffed and looked away – hoping her cheeks didn't look at warm as they felt. "I am Weiss Schnee. I am a former huntress who fought in the war. I run a multi-billion lien company and know at least sixty-five ways to kill a person. I am not cute." She crossed her arms, set in her deepest and angriest glare and Ruby just started laughing at her.

"You are the cutest. Also I am Ruby Rose and I have to pee."

With a sigh at her failed attempt to be the least bit intimidating, Weiss went the rest of the way down the stairs and helped Ruby out of bed.

The physical contact was starting to become easy. Weiss had figured out the best places to put her hands to avoid any discomfort while also being able to do her job properly. Ruby would always try and support more of her own weight than she should and Weiss would scold her to stop. Ruby would try and not lean too much on her and Weiss would scold her that it was okay. Then Ruby would try and do things like lift the toilet lid and reach the toilet paper and Weiss would scold her to let her help.

Still, it worked and Ruby managed to brush her teeth on the toilet, spit into a cup that Weiss poured out and cleaned for her and their morning routine had begun like this the last few days.

The strangest part about it, Weiss loved it. She had spent the last years being so busy that she never had any time for this. The pure quiet and nothingness of Patch seemed so awful when she first arrived but these mornings with Ruby were ideal. The comfort of going about her day and knowing that she wasn't alone was magical. There were responsibilities – but nothing that stressed her. They were easy and welcome. They made her feel needed and accomplished. She cooked for Ruby and watched silly informative commercials with her about ridiculous devices that cost far too much lien.

Even though she could tell that Ruby was bored at times, for Weiss, it was wonderful.

As the morning came and went, Weiss found herself sitting on the couch having just finished a call with Violet. Things with the company were running well enough – all major business transactions had been put on hold for a few weeks while Weiss was down here. Anything that might come up would be directly sent to her, but for now, she had no worries.

It was liberating and had her in a wonderful mood – the best she'd felt in years. Not to mention that she was currently sharing a couch with her favorite person in the world.

Her favorite person who, by noon, was once again sleeping on the couch with the remote control on her chest and hair in her face.

Standing up, Weiss smiled down at Ruby and removed the remote before hesitating as she hovered over her. The hair was in Ruby's face and if she rolled over or breathed in too deeply it might fall into her mouth and down her throat and kill her.

Honestly, it would be wrong for her to not delicately brush it away. It was always better to be safe than sorry.

Weiss carefully placed her finger on Ruby's forehead and moved away her long, soft hair and gently let it fall down her cheeks. When they were together, Weiss hadn't noticed Ruby's hair growing – they spent every day with one another so it didn't register. Yet, after all these years apart, to see Ruby with hair like this was captivating.

It suited her so well.

That was when Weiss realized that she'd gone from moving Ruby's hair out of her face to stroking her fingers through it.

Jerking her hand away, Weiss tucked them behind her back and silently scolded herself. She was not allowed to yearn – she'd told herself very specifically that yearning was off the table. She was Ruby's caretaker and nothing more.

Yes, she'd considered telling Ruby that she still had feelings for her multiple times – but Ruby had told her that those feelings weren't mutual and making this situation awkward would only be bad for Ruby. If Weiss made their current situation uncomfortable, she'd have to leave and if she left then Ruby would have to go to Vale and she'd promised she would stay here with her.

So she held her tongue and constantly told herself that once Ruby was ready, she would confess.

Either that, or she'd find another excuse in a series of excuses that would last until she returned to Atlas.

In desperate need of a distraction, Weiss decided to do something nice for Ruby (because of course she did) and moved to the kitchen to make Ruby something to eat.

As she rummaged through the kitchen, she found a small box of chocolate pudding mix and, having never actually tasted it before, she thought it would be a nice treat.

After thoroughly reading the instructions and getting all of her supplies ready, Weiss was prepared to make pudding.

If she were being honest, cooking was actually kind of fun and had become quite rewarding. Granted, she hadn't made anything too difficult and Yang was sure to give her easy recipes. Still, the first time she made a meal and Ruby actually hummed in approval was almost more satisfying that signing a big business deal.

Just as she reached into the fridge to grab the milk, she heard a soft whine from the couch and froze. Turning back, she watched as Ruby's face grimaced, her eyes still closed and her head moving from side to side.

Stalling her task for the moment, Weiss watched Ruby continue to flail as best she could and suddenly, Ruby's left arm was punching the back cushions of the couch. "No!" She shouted and Weiss quickly moved to her side. "Jaune, no!"

Weiss froze, her feet feeling as if they'd sunk into the carpet. She couldn't move as his name fell from Ruby's lips – a name that carried so much weight.

In a way, it was his name that tore them apart.

When she realized that Ruby might hurt herself with her movements, Weiss composed herself and knelt down next to the couch before gently shaking Ruby's shoulders.

"Ruby, wake up." She spoke softly at first but earned no response. "Ruby!" She was louder this time and the efforts worked as Ruby's eyes shot open – a faint shine to those silver eyes that always came when Ruby was scared. The power she possessed always brimming at the surface, ready to protect her at a moments notice.

As the shine faded, Ruby's true eyes found Weiss and there were tears spilling from them.

"Weiss…" she whispered and quickly brushed at her cheeks with embarrassment. "I…I was dreaming."

"You don't say?" Weiss responded gently as she took the cloth from off her shoulder and dabbed at Ruby's eyes. "Nightmare?" Ruby took a shaky breath and nodded. "About Jaune?" Weiss asked, already knowing the answer. "You were calling his name."

When Ruby's eyes looked away, she could almost imagine herself five years ago when Ruby started to pull away from her.

So to ask the question again now, years later, was terrifying.

"Good thing I never did that in bed, huh?" Ruby said with a weak smile and Weiss glared at her, unamused. It was a small bit of contention between them once – Weiss' questions of Ruby's relationship with Jaune. It was only ever small jealousy and Ruby never once betrayed any feelings. Still, when Jaune suddenly became a name Ruby couldn't handle hearing – those worries clawed their way back into Weiss' subconscious.

"You're not funny."

Ruby sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "It was nothing."

"Stop that," Weiss demanded and Ruby snapped a look at her. "Stop…doing that," she softened. "I want to help you, Ruby. I've wanted to help you for years now but you always do that!" Weiss wasn't sure where this frustration was coming from. It hurt to see Ruby in pain and know that she couldn't help – know that Ruby wouldn't let her help. She didn't want to speak of all the things she dropped to be here for Ruby, but she couldn't help herself. Weiss had put her entire life on hold to take care of Ruby, to let Ruby stay here in Patch. She wasn't regretting it, she never would. That didn't make it hurt any less that Ruby still shut her out.

"You wouldn't understand." Ruby quieted and sunk into herself. An old habit, one Weiss loathed.

"You never gave me the chance!" She felt her voice break and saw Ruby flinch and all of Weiss' anger went away. Instead, she moved back to the couch and slid to her knees before reaching out to take Ruby's hand. "I'm sorry, I just…I've only ever wanted to help you, Ruby. You're right, I don't understand." Ruby looked at her and Weiss smiled as best she could. "I would like to, though."

Ruby closed her eyes and for a moment, Weiss thought she was going to shut out again. However, a heartbeat later – Ruby started speaking. "Do you remember what Ren said at Jaune's service?"

Weiss remembered every friend they buried. Some more vividly than others. Jaune, in particular, was one of the hardest.

"He spoke of Jaune's bravery and sacrifice. How…" Weiss took a breath as the memories hit her. "How he was a shield for us all. A hero who...who died protecting you."

Ruby winced at the close of the sentence and tears spilled through her closed eyes and rolled down her cheeks. "It's a lie." Ruby whispered, shaking her head. "He didn't die protecting me…he…he died because of me."

"Ruby, I'm sure –"

"No!" Ruby's shout made Weiss jump. "It's not an exaggeration, Weiss. I lost control. I was so scared and angry and tired and Salem was killing us and I just…I lost control." She hung her head, tears continuing to fall. A voice in the back of Weiss' head told her to comfort Ruby, but she couldn't move. She'd never been able to get this much out of Ruby when it came to what happened in that fight. The night that Salem fell would be told in history texts for millennium, but only one person left on Remnant knew what actually happened. "I wanted to hurt Salem. I wanted to end it…and…I let go of all my power and I burned her alive. I knew it would take all I had to finish her and I thought my head was going to explode but I did it…I finished her. I just," Ruby's face was empty, her eyes open and her cheeks wet with tears, but she looked frighteningly distance. "I forgot Jaune was up there and when I saw him again he was…" she bit back a sob and Weiss closed the distance between them.

"Ruby," was all she could say. She wasn't even sure if there was anything she could say but it felt impossible to let Ruby go.

"Weiss," Ruby said, and that was when Weiss realized that Ruby wasn't touching her. "I didn't mean to hurt him." She cried and Weiss pulled away to stroke Ruby's hair.

"I know that, Ruby. Nobody blames you – you were desperate and you did what you had to do. Jaune knew the risks of the war. We all did."

Finally, Ruby grabbed hold of Weiss and buried her face in Weiss' collar. There were tears seeping through her shirt and Weiss' knees were hurting from the hard floor – but she wasn't about to move.

This was something she'd needed to hear for years.

As the sun started to set, Weiss found herself in a much desired position on Ruby's couch. She was watching something on the screen but just barely – it was a mindless cooking show. The more important matter was the girl sitting with her. Ruby was paying much closer attention, but because she wasn't able to sit upright for long stretches, she'd decided to use Weiss' lap as a footrest.

It was both intimate and warm and Weiss was loving every second of it. Certainly her feelings were at the forefront and she fought with them seemingly every hour – but right now she didn't even worry about them. This was just her being here for someone she cared about and Weiss appreciated that Ruby was letting her be here.

They hadn't said much since Ruby's nightmare, but Weiss didn't feel like she'd been wrong by keeping silent. She definitely had some things to offer, but she didn't want to overwhelm Ruby with any of it. It was also not something she wanted to get into and ruin this moment. Ruby had cried and then calmed down. They ate lunch and settled in on the couch. After a couple of bathroom breaks, this was where they'd spent the day.

For Weiss, it was one of the better days she could remember. Even if that truth only made her realize just how hard she'd fallen again.

As the show ended, Ruby looked away from the screen and stared up at the ceiling. Her silence had been quite telling all day but she hadn't been distant. If Weiss spoke to her, she listened and when she needed something, she would ask. For Ruby it was just…sadness, but Weiss hadn't pushed because she could tell that Ruby was processing.

Weiss decided to try and help her along. "He stopped me, you know?" This grabbed Ruby's attention as a pair of silver eyes leveled on her curiously. "Jaune," his name felt strange on her tongue. "I wanted to go with you up the mountain but he wouldn't let me. Said I was too hurt after the fight with Emerald. He stopped Yang too. Jaune…he knew it would be dangerous. He was…" she took a deep breath and said something she'd held in for a long time. "He loved you."

Weiss wasn't sure what she expected. Ruby's reaction though was not anything she'd ever imagined. It was docile and relaxed – almost passive.

"He told me," she admitted and Weiss felt that familiar jealousy brewing again. Ruby and Jaune had a history – one that belonged to them and one that Weiss had never pried into. They'd never actually had any sort of romantic relationship, but Weiss knew that at some point, Jaune had developed feelings for her. Weiss stared at her for a long time through the silence until Ruby finally smiled. "Nothing happened."

"I know that," Weiss scoffed. "I always trusted you. I just…didn't know he actually declared it to you."

Ruby shrugged and started picking at the blanket hanging over the back of the couch. "I never really saw it coming. I didn't know he felt that way and when he told me he just said he wanted to get it out because he didn't the last time and I knew he meant…" Ruby sighed and bit her bottom lip. She didn't have to say the name and Weiss didn't need to hear it.

"What did you…" she started speaking before the thought processed and now she was standing on the edge of the cliff without a parachute to save her. Yes, once again, Weiss Schnee's big mouth hung her out to dry.

She flushed and hung her head when Ruby grinned at her. "I told him I felt the same." Weiss' head snapped up at her, only to be met with an even bigger smile. "We actually married in Port's den where we were staying in Vale. I think you were in the other room sipping tea with my dad."

Weiss scoffed and swatted Ruby's foot on her lap. "You're such a brat."

"Well what did you expect?" Ruby asked through her laugh. "I told him I was taken, which he already knew and understood. He just wanted me to know."

"So you've been carrying that around all these years?"

"That I murdered one of my best friends?"

"Ruby," she tried, but was cut short.

"Don't," Ruby's tone left no room for argument. "I know there were circumstances. I've played them out in my head a million times. There was nothing else – it was her or us and I made my move. Doesn't make it hurt any less."

Weiss couldn't stop the next sentence that came out of her mouth. It'd been building for so long. "I wish you had told me." Ruby looked up at her, a sadness in her eyes so deep that it felt endless. Weiss wondered if it would always be there – it certainly had been since that day. "I could have been there for you. I could have…"

"I didn't want anyone there for me, Weiss. I—I hated myself for a long time afterwards. Like why did I deserve to live and he didn't? He'd been fighting just as long as we had and for what? To die before he was able to live in the world we were fighting for? It wasn't fair."

"Life rarely is."

Ruby shook her head. "Then what's the point?"

Don't say it. There's a quote or some cheesy thing you heard Blake say from one of your books that would be far better in this situation. You keep your mouth shut Weiss Schnee or so help me…

"This isn't too bad." She said, squeezing Ruby's foot on her lap.

You're such a loser. Do better for her.

"Ruby," Weiss started again, not breaking eye contact. "I'm here for you. Not to…make you forget – to help you. I'm your personal aid right? That's what the nurses at the hospital said."

The silver eyes looking back at her were suddenly confused. "Yeah?"

"Right, so as your personal aid and the best personal aid you'll ever have, I want you to know that I'll be here for as long as you need. I…I know we have a…history." Ruby ducked her head and Weiss felt that familiar pang of gut wrenching angst sink deeper and deeper into her heart. She brushed it aside like the true emotionally stunted professional she'd become. "That doesn't change the fact that I care a great deal for you and I want to see you be happy. Whatever that might mean…I want you to be okay before I go back to Atlas."

Even if you being okay has nothing to do with me.

Ruby's sudden sniffle grabbed Weiss attention but the smile she saw on Ruby's face made her relax. She watched Ruby wipe at her eyes and nod before wiggling her toes against Weiss' hand. "You really are a great partner, Weiss. You've always been good to me."

"Well…not always." She said, thinking back to initiation day.

"You did save me from a Deathstalker."

Weiss shrugged. "Only for fear your sister might murder me if you died."

Ruby chuckled. "She would have, she mentioned it a few times after meeting you."

"I have no doubt."

It was quiet, but only for a moment when Ruby spoke up again. "What about you?" Weiss looked over inquisitively at Ruby who had an expectant look in her eyes. "Are you happy?"

I am right now.

That was what she wanted to say – it was the truth. The other answer, the one she felt obligated to give after Ruby's opening up was that no, she was not happy. She was not happy with any aspect of her lonely life in Atlas.

Unfortunately, it was her life and it was her responsibilities and her company and it was all she had.

That was the answer she felt obligated to give. That was the truth.

Fortunately, Ruby didn't specify, so she could give the easy answer and continue to make this night wonderful.

"I am."

Right now…

Apologies that this took so long. Writer's block sucks like that - but I think I've gotten through the worst of it. This chapter scared me cause it's Ruby's big confession and sort of the beginning of her healing, at least by opening up. There are only two chapters of this story left and I hope to get them out sooner than later. Thank you for reading - any feedback is always greatly appreciated :)