Dear Clinton Voters

We know you’re in shock. We know you feel sucker-punched. We know you hoped it couldn’t really happen.

We know that flailing feeling that the world just upended on its axis. That the beliefs you held sacrosanct — about progress, and equality, and enlightenment — have been untethered.

We know you need time to process this news. We know that you’ll be riding the grief curve — looking for people whose fault it is, inventing ways bargain your way out of the situation (visa for Canada, anyone?), imagining hopeful scenarios where this doesn’t actually happen.

We know what it feels like. We’ve been there, remember? We’ve had your morning of shock, the weeks of fear and anger, the months of uncertainty. We’ve said and done things we wished we hadn’t. And we’ve responded in new ways which, we hope, will make a positive difference to this situation.

So allow us to offer you some friendly advice for navigating the days and months ahead.

Give yourself some time to feel utterly gutted. This is a big thing. Look after yourself. Go easy on social media. For a while it will feel like this is the right place to vent your anger and frustration, to connect with others who feel the same. But after some time, you’ll notice that it becomes fuel to the fire not a balm for the soul. Watch out for your own vitriol and remember your values. There will be lots of people who will be so furious with Trump voters that it will be too easy to label them all as racists and idiots who don’t deserve this democratic right. You may find yourself ‘liking’ their posts and sharing their views. Pause before you do. In the heat and the drama it’s all too easy to generalise and categorise; to forget that that’s not what we do. And it’s too easy to hurt those people close to you, who hear your words, who voted the way you hoped they wouldn’t, and who will feel shamed and saddened by your ill-formed judgement on their reasons. Try to understand. Try to understand that not everyone who voted for him fits that stereotype. Try to understand that for some, perhaps many, they’ve born the costs and the scars of our liberal ideology. Try to understand that their vote matters as much as yours, and that if things were working well for everyone then they wouldn’t have run to him. Listen to their stories. Rediscover the country you live in. But take some time before you speak with friends who voted for him. The anger is high, the stakes feel enormous. We saw marriages on the rocks and friendships fail under its weight. Tread carefully. Because in a few months time it will be in those friendships and marriages that the productive conversations will happen. Be prepared for the media firestorm. In the weeks and months after Brexit our newspapers sold more copies than at any other time in the past few years. It’s in the media’s interest to keep you scared, to stoke the fire, to shout loudly and act ungraciously. Sometimes you just need to put the paper down. Stand up against division. Stand up against hate crime. Stand up against racism. Because it’s coming, and you need people who are prepared to do something about it. If you really believe in equality and social justice and progressive values, then now is the time to do something about them. Be ready to get behind the communities that act positively and proactively in response to the mess. Here, it’s movements like MoreUnited, who starting in the weeks after Brexit to bring people together to crowdfund for progressive politicians. It’s social media campaigns like Stop Funding Hate who are holding our media to task and asking big corporations to stop advertising in titles that spew racist rhetoric. There will be many leaders and many ordinary people who right now are planning a way to make this ok. Support them. Shout for them. Be them. Watch this.

Sending good wishes,

Britain’s Brexit Remainers

PS — I changed the headline on this from ‘American Democrats’ to ‘Clinton Voters’ after an American friend pointed out that a lot of moderate Republicans feel this way too.