"It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul"

So, I work at an electronics store selling computers and tablets. It helps pay the bills, that's about the best I can say about it it. It is what it is. Definitely not my dream job, but until I get done with my degree it's what I have.I also live in the BUCKLE of the Bible belt. Now, usually, this isn't so bad. Lots of "Bless you, honey," and "oh, well, I will pray for you," type comments get thrown around and even more, "I just know you go to a good Church. You're such a nice girl." To which I have always just smiled and nodded, said "thank you," and been gracious. There is a difference between "oh, you're? Well, I'lland "Oh, you're _____? Oh honey! I will pray for you!" One makes you feel an inch tall, the other they're just doing what they know best to do to help you. Most people go for option two. But not all.I was at work the other day and this couple came in. They looked friendly, slightly lost and nervous to be there. Mostly these kinds of people only come in at Christmas when they need to by gifts for all the "young people." I put on my best non-commission sales person smile and walked up to them. "Hi! What can I help you find today?"They smiled back, the older woman clutched her purse protectively and after an almost nervous glance to her husband said, "well, we think we need a tablet." this isn't so uncommon. If all you need is an internet machine, a tablet is great! Light weight, easy to carry, touch screen is easier than a mouse if you aren't accustomed to using one."We think we want one of those Orange Pads," she said with a nod."Apple Pad," her husband corrected."Oh, an iPad? Sure! Right this way."So, I walked them over to the iPads and asked if they had any questions about it, or if they knew what they wanted. They pretty much knew what they wanted, but weren't sure that 32 GB was enough."Well," I said, "are you going to be watching movies on it?""Oh, no...""Uhm... lots of apps? Or music?""What's an app?" After explaining it, "Oh, no, not that either... but why did you ask about movies?""Well," I said smiling, "movies take up a lot of space. Like, one high definition movie could take up to four GB.""OH! Well, then we may need the 64 GB one!""So," I said, "you have a large music library?""Oh, no, it's just...the Bible IS SO BIG that it would surely take up at least 16 GB! Probably more."I took a few minutes after that to explain how very small text files are, and how a Bible, even one of those "fancy Bible programs" would take up less than 1 GB, most likely, "yes, even if it has multiple translations."They talked it over for a few minutes, and just couldn't figure out how God's Holy Bible could take up so little space. They seemed more in awe than disgust, but it was hard to keep from giggling. Finally, they decided that they needed a 32 GB iPad, in black, with a case and a stylus. When I asked them what all they planned to do with it they just smiled and said, "take it to church. Read the Bible, maybe write a book about living a Godly life." I smiled and nodded.After I rang them out the old woman smiled at me and asked, "where do you go to Church, honey?"I smiled back, "I don't go to church, ma'am."She reached in her purse and pulled out a business card, "here's the address of our church, I'd love to see you there Sunday morning.""Thank you," I said, "but, I don't think I will make it.""Why not?""I wouldn't feel right about it. I don't go to church, ma'am.""Oh. Why not?""I don't think I believe in God, ma'am."She looked like I'd slapped her in the face. She didn't say another word to me and she and her husband turned and left me. I found out yesterday that she returned the iPad at the front of the store. Now, that's not the first $600 Bible I have sold, but it's the only one that ended like this.I felt ashamed. Totally ashamed. Like I had done something wrong. I had offended this woman, not by refusing her offer to go to her church, but by simply not believing in her god. I had somehow wounded her, and refused to even keep her purchase because ... because I had somehow defiled it. I had to excuse myself form the sales floor to go collect myself after this news.I felt dirty. I wanted to be angry. Just another reason to despise those asses, with their "loving God." But, after I calmed down I realized that it wasn't her fault. She was scared. She had been taught for SO long that people like me are the height of all evil. That atheists are a plague, that are bad people, who hate and defile goodness. And I know that's not true. I love people and animals, try to be helpful, make things better for others, and do good works.I could very easily say, "FUCK IT." And just hate and hate and hate religious people. But what good would that do? What would it do at all, other than reinforce the idea that we are soulless heathens? Other than to make her right about me?So, I will continue to be the good I want to see in the world, continue to set an example, and hope that some day people will realize that not believing in God isn't a bad thing. It's just a choice. Like they choose to believe in a god.I hold my head high, face a new day, and hope to be an example.XOXOLouise