Chapter 20: Caught.

Today was Hans' trial, and as you may assume, he's going to jail for at least 24 years, as he's been charged with sexual harassment to a minor, attempted rape and attempted homicide with aggravated assault. But of course, in order for that to happen, both Anna and I had to testify against him, as if the blood in his clothes and knife and the injuries on our bodies weren't evidence enough.

I told the jury about what Snow had told me that day (she had to pay a settlement for conspiracy to commit a crime so she didn't make it to jail, but I heard her stepmother is going to send her to live with her seven uncles as punishment), how I found Anna and saw Hans attack her and then tried to defend her only to end up with a knife stabbed in my abdomen. It was hard, of course, but believe me, it wasn't nearly as hard for me as it was for Anna.

Anna told the jury everything about her relationship with Hans. And by that, I really mean everything, even some things I really didn't want to know. She narrated how he forced their first kiss on her, and how subsequently he kept making her do sexual things against her will, like touching his genitals, until eventually he even forced her to give him oral sex, threatening to take her virginity if she didn't accept. She cried through all of it, and I almost cried too, but I tried to be strong for her and held her when she finished testifying and returned to my side. She was broken emotionally, and kept asking if we thought less of her after what she'd narrated, but both her parents and I assured her that no, we didn't love her any less nor think of her as filthy just because of what she'd done and we were more concerned about her well-being. Eventually she calmed down, especially when the judge pronounced his verdict.

Oh! I almost forgot to tell you… Ariel, Cinderella and Aurora also testified against Hans, narrating how it wasn't the first time he'd done something like that (though he'd never raped someone) and how he told them he'd do something bad to Anna that day, even if he didn't give them any details (except to Snow, of course). I think they're truly regretful of what they've done to Anna and finally are starting to try and make things right, which is a good thing. Hopefully no one will be bullying either of us in the near future.

Anyways, now we're arriving to Anna's house, since her parents invited me for lunch after the trial and, after telling Kai and Gerda where I was going, I accepted. Her father, however, went to quickly fix something at his lab (he's a biologist and he works in Pathology research, as well as his wife) and so Anna's mom was the one who drove us to her home. My girlfriend, however, pretty much fell asleep as soon as she got in, and left me on my own to talk with her mother… which surprisingly wasn't a bad thing, I mean, she's really nice and has that motherly aura that I had only previously seen in Gerda, and since we only talked about school stuff, I wasn't in real danger of spelling out the truth about my relationship with Anna. The only bad thing about that is… it kinda left me wondering (for the billionth time in my life) what would it feel like to have a mother, one that doesn't abandon you as soon as you're born, but who cares about you and loves you and makes you feel good. Honestly, by the time we arrived at Anna's home I was already about to start crying, but thankfully in that moment her mother parked the car and went to wake Anna up, effectively distracting me from my thoughts and allowing me to remain composed.

Anyways, so we all exit the car, get in the house and then Anna's mom turns and tells us:

"I'll just buy a pizza, is that alright?" We both nod (I honestly would eat anything they offer me right now; I'm starving). "I'll order your favorite."

"Thanks mom." Anna smiles at her before taking my hand (much to my surprise) and leading me upstairs to her room before I can protest. As soon as we arrive, the redhead practically launches herself to the bed and sighs in content, closing her eyes for a moment before opening them again and patting the bed at her side. I know she wants me to lay beside her so we can cuddle and relax before the pizza arrives, but as much as I'd like that, there's something I've been meaning to talk to her about ever since the end of the trial. So I just sit at the edge of the bed and stare at her. "What?" She asks, confused when she realizes I didn't comply to her silent request.

"Was what you said true? The things Hans forced you to do?" I ask, remembering how shaken she was before, and not believing for a second that all that sadness and desperation just suddenly disappeared in the span of a few hours.

"Well… I wouldn't say that he forced me..." She sits up as she says this, biting her lip as if not wanting to talk about it. "More like coerced me. But hey, it's all in the past." She chuckles, probably to brush it off and make me forget all about it, but I'm not letting it go until I'm completely sure Anna is aware of the seriousness of the situation and also admits (at least to herself) that it's not something to be easily forgotten.

"It's the same!" I practically yell, slightly upset as the way she talked about it, like it didn't matter at all. "He made you do something you didn't want to and you still let him continue until things went too far."

"So what? Now it's my fault that he tried to rape me?" She retorts with an angry expression.

"No, that's not…" I pause, trying to calm down, because I really don't want her to think I'm blaming her for what happened. "I just… don't you care about yourself?" I ask, because really, she could've have stopped Hans from the very beginning, but she didn't because… why exactly? I want to understand.

"I… Elsa look, I appreciate what you're trying to do." She starts, and I instantly know she's gonna refuse my help. "But I really want to leave it all in the past." However, even if I understand why she doesn't want to talk about this, I also know that it's better not to keep the things that hurt us inside us, so I keep looking at her, unfazed… until she starts pouting and making puppy-dog eyes. "Please? Forget about it and let's just make out."

Damn! That is tempting, how can I resist her? No, I need to stay focus! Even if her lips look so delicious…

I bit my lip and close my eyes to avoid giving in to temptation, but I still give in a little to her request.

"Look, I'll tell you what." I say opening my eyes. "If you talk to me about that, we'll make out."

"Ugh, fine." She sighs. "What do you want to know? I already narrated it all to the jury."

"I don't want to know the facts… obviously. I want to know…" I pause. What do I want to know? Nothing, really, I just want her to talk to me about what's hurting her. "What made you submit yourself to that? What was happening in your head when you agreed to do everything Hans said even if you didn't want to?"

"Well…" She closes her eyes and gulps. "At first it was because… I really thought he loved me." She sighs. "And he was so handsome and nice that I just… I guess I tried to force myself to love him, hoping he'd someday love me back and… m-make me his girlfriend." Her voice cracks at the end and tears instantly fall out of her eyes.

"Oh, Anna." I say as I rush to wrap my arms around her tightly, hoping it'll give her some comfort. I was going to tell her that it's alright, she doesn't have to say anymore, at least for now, when she keeps talking.

"And then…" She continues. "Then he started calling me a whore and some other n-n-nasty things." She visibly tenses and starts trembling in rage, and all I can do is try to sooth her by caressing her back. "And I…!" She pauses, holding me tighter until my wound hurts, but I don't dare to protest, not when she's overwhelmed by despair. "I believed them!" She finally screams, and at her words my heart breaks, and I want to comfort her, but she keeps going on. "I believed them and I thought no one would ever want someone as filthy as me, so I-I just…" She clenches her fists in rage and shakes even more, and suddenly I'm a little afraid she may explode on me, but I keep holding her. "I-I just thought I might as well d-d-do as Hans told me, as he was the only one who wanted me."

"Anna…" I start to say, wanting to reassure her, but before I can say anything more, Anna's lips on mine silence me. She's kissing me so desperately and messy that our teeth end up clashing, but I don't even have time to protest before she pushes me into the mattress and climbs on top of me, not pulling away for a second. This, unlike our other kisses, doesn't feel right at all, partially because she's still crying and so tense that her muscles feel like rocks, but also because is obvious this didn't came out of love, but of despair, and I don't like it one bit. It scares me.

"Tell me that you want me, Elsa!" Anna says, finally pulling away slightly to look at my eyes with a crazy stare. "Tell me that…" I take the opportunity to push her away. When I asked her about Hans, I never imagined it'll all end up like this, even if I didn't think everything was fine with her after what I'd seen and heard at the trial.

"Anna, listen…" I start, but Anna is far too gone to listen to me.

"Do you want me or not?!" She yells hysterically. "Am I not pretty enough? Am I not good enough? Am I not worthy of being your girlfriend?!"

"Of course I want you!" I yell back, grabbing her shoulders and making her look at me, hoping this will pull her out of her insane state. It seems to work, because Anna blinks a few times before her breath comes back to normal and her muscles relax a little. "I want you, Anna." I repeat, and given the circumstances I shouldn't feel embarrassed to admit it out loud, but it still makes my cheeks turn warm. "And I also love you. I'm your girlfriend." I assure her, placing a hand on her cheek and making her look at me, but she closes her eyes with an ashamed expression before collapsing on top of me (which again makes my wound hurt), sobbing and whimpering while I try to calm her down with tender words and soft caresses.

"Shhh… It's alright. I understand where you were coming from." I say. "Sometimes it's very easy to believe what others tell us, and I'm sorry to have made you remember it. I-I thought it'd help you." I add regretfully; I never thought she'd get into that state of madness just remembering what happened, after all it hadn't been that bad in the trial.

"It did." She assures me between strangled sobs and hiccups.

"Good." I say, a little relieved that Anna didn't blame me for making her relive such pain. "But it still hurt to see how much his words still affect you."

"I know." She mumbles nuzzling on my neck, giving me pleasurable chills and making me realize just how intimately close our bodies are.—Even when he's in prison he still hurts me.

"He won't anymore." I assure her. "As you said, he's in prison now, and we're here, alive and together, with all our lives ahead of us." I try to sound optimistic for her sake, and it seems to work because after a few moments she calms down and sighs in content, and tries to get even closer to me, her lips touching my neck in the process and making my breath hitch.

After a few seconds of Anna just peacefully lying above me, however, I start getting used to the sensation, and I'm about to close my eyes and maybe relax a little until the pizza arrives, when suddenly I feel Anna kissing my neck. My eyes shoot open and I let out a gasp of surprise since I didn't expect Anna to initiate intimate contact just a minute after her breakdown… but apparently I underestimated the desire she feels for me.

In that moment, I feel her wet hot tongue licking me, and pleasure shoots from the spot to my lower regions as Anna moans into my neck. My cheeks feel warm and my heart is racing, but even if we've done something like this before, this somehow feels more intimate, probably because we're in her bed and Anna is literally lying on top of me, and our bodies are so close I can feel the beating of her heart, and a nervous feeling starts to make its way into my stomach before I'm distracted from it by Anna softly biting me. It doesn't hurt at all, but oh how well it feels! I can't help it when a little pleasured whimper escapes my throat. This seems to encourage Anna, because soon she's biting me harder and then sucking, this time causing me slight pain, but it's the good kind of pain; it actually makes me tremble in arousal.

Suddenly, however, Anna slightly separates herself from me so we stare at each other's eyes. Hers are red and a little puffy, but still clearly reflect the lust she undoubtedly feels for me, and her cheeks are so red! And her breath is ragged, and I just want to devour those deliciously pink lips!

And so I do; I kiss her hard, but still with as much love I can muster, even daring to use my tongue to explore her mouth (gods, it feels good), feeling more and more pleasure accumulate throughout my whole body until I realize I need to breathe and I pull away, panting heavily.

Anna stares at me like a predator would stare at its prey and groans in arousal before leaning in and capturing my lips with her own again. After a moment she breaks contact and moves to kiss my jaw, my neck and finally my ear, biting it and making me melt under her touch. I'm pretty sure I'd never felt pleasure so intense before in my life.

I'm so lost in pleasure, in fact, that I almost miss it when Anna sits up and starts unbuttoning my shirt. She's already undone two bottoms when I realize exactly what's going on.

"W-wait." I say, utterly nervous, because honestly I never expected Anna to start undressing me. "W-what are you doing?"

"Uh… undressing you?" She says like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and of course it is, but she surely isn't thinking about having sex now, is she? I mean we've only been dating for a couple of weeks.

"But… you want…?" I gulp, fearing the answer, but Anna just smiles at me and nods. "Now?!" I ask in disbelief, the feeling in my stomach intensifying tenfold. Anna, however, just nods again, and I gulp before giving her a nervous smile. "D-do you at least know how?"

"Pffft, it can't be that difficult." She brushes it off. "I mean, I've never done it before, but…" She pauses, looking at me expectantly and I take a few moments to think about it. On one hand, I'm utterly nervous, since I've never done it before and also, no one has actually seen me naked since I was a small child. Besides, the reason Anna wants to do it right now, may be because of her breakdown earlier when she asked me if I wanted her, and I really wouldn't want our first time to happen because of that reason… but then again I kinda owe her for making her reminiscence the time she was with Hans, and this would surely make her feel better, right? But it's not romantic enough for our first time, and I'd like to be more prepared... maybe watch some videos and read about it first or something… But she's so hot and so close, and she's looking at me with such desire! It's so tempting!

"Alright… we'll learn together." I say before I can stop myself, and the second those words fall out of my mouth, Anna reaches down and quickly unbuttons my shirt… only to then stare intently at my gauze pad, which now is stained with blood, no doubt because of how Anna was lying on top of me.

Maybe having sex right now isn't the best idea. I mean, we're both injured and bruised, not to mention Anna's broken arm…

However, before I can tell her we better stop right now before we get hurt, the door opens and her mother comes in.

"Girls, the pizza is…" She pauses, seeing us in such a compromising position, before I realize what's going on and quickly try to cover my body with my shirt, while Anna just remains motionless like a deer caught in headlights. Still, I know it's too late and her mother already saw us when her expression hardens and she speaks again in a much more authoritarian (and scary) voice. "Downstairs. Now." That said, she leaves the room.

Instantly, I get up from bed and start buttoning my shirt, panic rising inside me.

We're so damned! They're gonna kill me, and then Anna, and then burn us and throw our ashes into the toilet… Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but damn she looked mad! What if they kick Anna out? What if they send her away all because of me?! God, I'd never forgivemyself if that happened.

"Relax." Anna's hand suddenly touches my shoulder, startling me out of my panicked thoughts. "She's not going to kill us." She chuckles.

"Well… she seemed pretty mad to me." I answer, my voice shaking in fear.

"That's because you haven't seen her really mad." She states before taking my hand and starting to walk out of the room. Honestly, her words are not very comforting. "Come on, let's go before she comes and drags us downstairs."

I am literally shaking from fear when we sit at the table in front of her parents, especially when her father eyes at Anna's hand in mine and my girlfriend only tightens her hold. Doesn't she know how serious this is? Why is she trying to provoke them?

Fortunately, however, after a few seconds she seems to understand the message and releases my hand, and I internally sigh in relief.

"So…" Her father begins with a tone that gives me chills. "Your mother told me she found you in a very… compromising position." Anna and I gulp at how he says compromising, but I gather the courage and somehow manage to speak before Anna can.

"Please don't be mad at Anna." I plead, hoping to be able to save her by redirecting her parents' anger towards me. "It was my fault, I-I…"

"Really?" Her mother raises an eyebrow, clearly unbelieving. "Because to me it seemed like she was trying to ravish you."

"Mom!" Anna protests, her cheeks burning bright red, but before I can interfere again, assuring Anna's mother it wasn't her daughter's fault, her father laughs.

"It does sound like Anna." He says and at this her mother joins him in his laughter.

To say I'm surprised that they aren't kicking us both out of their house would be an understatement.

"You are not… mad?" I ask, regretting having opened my mouth a second later, when Anna's parents' faces become stern and serious again.

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't have… ehem… intimate relations in this house." Her father answers, surprising me once again.

"No, I meant…" I pause, taking a deep breath in order to calm down a little before continuing. After all, my following question could remind them of the reason they should be mad at us. "Are you really okay with us being… well… women?"

"We're not homophobic, if that's what worries you." Anna's mother assures me and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, much more relaxed now that I know Anna's parents doesn't have anything against same-sex couples.

"Though I must admit I was surprised at first." Her father adds. "I always thought Anna liked boys, I mean, after all she was always dreaming about princes in shining armor and all that stuff."

"I'm bisexual." My girlfriend interferes. "… I think." Her father nods at this, as if it all suddenly made sense.

"However, I'm a little hurt that you didn't tell us sooner." Anna's mother tells her. "Especially since we met her that time before Christmas when you brought her home. It's been a few months."

When I came here before Christmas? Wait, but back then we weren't…

"What? Oh, no, no, no! We weren't girlfriends at that time." Anna beats me to correct her.

"Y-you weren't?" She asks, truly surprised.

"We've just been dating for couple of weeks or so."

"And you were already going to have sex?!" Her father practically yells, and I flinch at this. If he wasn't mad before, now he certainly is.

"No, we…" I start, trying to make up some excuse to having been found in such position, but Anna cuts me off.

"It wasn't planned." Anna assures him, like that was going to make it all better. "It was in the heat of the moment, you know?" She chuckles, but everything is still so awkward. "But hey, at least neither of us can get pregnant." She tries to joke, but her parents (and I) remain unamused and she sighs. "Okay, I'm sorry. I admit it wasn't the best time to do it, alright? Let's just eat, the pizza is getting cold."

"You're right." Her mother agrees to my relief. "Just promise you'll wait a little more before you... uhm… have sex." She's clearly the one who is the most uncomfortable about this topic, but I have the feeling all of us would rather talk about anything else than when and where Anna and I are going to have sex.

"And that it won't happen in this house." Anna's father adds and they both stare at us waiting for an answer.

"I promise." My girlfriend says.

"I promise too." I second her, and mentally swear to myself that I won't let anything like what happened today happen in the future; our first time has to be romantic and, definitely, planned.

"Very well, now let's eat." Her father says satisfied, before opening the pizza box and getting out a slice, before Anna does the same and quickly starts to devour it, while her mother and I grab out one for ourselves, just not as desperately.

We keep munching at the pepperoni pizza for a while until Anna's father finishes his first slice and decides to break the silence.

"So…" He starts, looking at me in a way I know he's going to interrogate me in order to see if I'm good enough for his daughter. Of course, I instantly tense up. "What do your parents do for living?" I swallow the food that's in my mouth, take a gulp of water and carefully clean my lips with a napkin before answering, hoping to gain a few more seconds to prepare my response. It has to be as short as possible, because I really don't like talking about my father (it brings back bad memories).

"M-my father…" I start, hesitating a little before calling him 'father', because really, he doesn't deserve that title. Anna, however, seems to notice this and takes my hand under the table to comfort me. "H-he is the CEO of a Norwegian enterprise."

"You're from Norway?" Anna's father asks raising an eyebrow, even more surprised when I answer with a nod. "How long have you been living here?"

"A little more than three years."

"Oh." He blinks, confused. "But if he's the CEO of an enterprise, then how can he leave his country for so long?"

"He didn't. He sent me here alone." I answer, my heart clenching at my own words. He abandoned me, he punished me, he sent me here to live miserably… only because of who I am.

"And what about your mother?" Anna's mother asks concerned, only adding salt to the wound. I feel like I'm about to start crying at any second, but I manage to collect myself before answering.

"She left when I was little. I never met her." I say curtly, hoping they'll get it and stop prying.

"I-I'm sorry to hear that." She says and I just nod before quickly taking another slice of pizza and distracting myself with the food, since I really don't want to start crying now; it'd only raise more questions. Anna's parents seem to get the message though, because they don't ask me more personal questions during the rest of the meal.

After lunch Anna and I hang out a little in her room (door opened, of course) as her parents watch the TV downstairs. We are playing Mario Kart on her Wii console, and surprisingly enough, even though I'd never played videogames before, I'm quite good at it, and have won three races now (by the way, Anna is a sore loser and she keeps challenging me to another and another race, saying the next time she'll win). We're both having fun and laughing until Anna asks:

"Hey, Els. Did you really never meet your mother?" I tense at this, I mean, Anna knows I don't like to talk about the subject, and after the little interrogation with her parents she must have an idea how much it affects me, so I get a little upset with her for bringing it up.

"No, she left as soon as I was born. I told you that." I curtly answer, hoping she'll drop the subject.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry." She apologizes and gets back to playing, and for a moment I think she will just forget about it… but of course I'm wrong and before we even finish that lap she asks again. "But seriously, have you never tried to contact her?"

"No, Anna." I sigh in exasperation, but this time I elaborate, hoping that a little more information will leave her satisfied. "She left me, she clearly didn't want anything to do with me, and so I don't see any reason to search her. Plus, father said she's not a good person, so…" As I explain all of this, I attempt to not be affected by the memories, but it still seems to get my mood down a little.

"But your father has lied to you before." She insists. "I mean, what if she wants to talk to you but she can't, or what if…?"

"Anna, enough." I warn her, because I've thought of all those possibilities before, but they are always too painful, and they make me sad and angry, because I'm only making excuses for a woman that never loved me, never even gave me a chance, and just left me like I was some kind of trash. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"But… don't you even have a picture of her? Don't you at least know what she looks like?"

Can't she keep quiet for five seconds? Doesn'tsheunderstand how much this hurts me?

She's probably taking revenge on you because of how you made her talk about Hans earlier.

She wouldn't do that, she loves me.

If your own mother couldn't love you, what makes you think other people will?

Great, now the voices in my head are back. Wonderful.

"Father burned all her pictures when she left, alright?" I answer angrily as I drop a banana in front of her cart, making her fall down the bridge, hoping that'll keep her distracted. And it does… for like ten seconds.

"Do you even know her name?" She asks and I sigh, putting down the Wii remote, since the race is over anyways, before turning to look at her, figuring it'd be better to just to answer her questions and hope she'll leave me alone.

"You're not dropping the subject, are you?" I ask exasperated, and to my dismay, Anna only shakes her head. "Father never wanted me to know her name, but my brother told me once." I pause, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, remembering that bittersweet memory of me insisting my brother to talk me about mother or at least tell me her name, and he refusing, saying father had forbidden him to tell me, until he had finally relented. After that, it was only harder not to wonder about my mother. "Idunn." I almost whisper, pronouncing her name out loud for the first time in my life, my heart aching at how right it sounded, and how she never gave me the privilege to see the face this name belonged to. "Her name was Idunn."

"That's a beautiful name." She compliments.

"For a horrible person." I scrunch my nose, reminding herself of why I shouldn't be thinking about my mother and definitely shouldn't feel this longing at the sound of her name, and shouldn't be trying to imagine what would her arms would feel wrapped around me.

"Would you mind if I search her picture on the internet?" Anna asks cautiously. "Just to see if you look like her at all." I tense at her request and for a moment think of telling her to leave me alone, since I'm about to break down crying, but I figure what she searches or not on the internet is none of my business, and doesn't affect me as long as she doesn't tell me about it. Besides, she'd probably do it anyways even if I told her not to.

"I guess if you want to do it, I can't stop you. Just… know I don't want to know anything about her." I answer, barely holding back my emotions.

"I understand, but…"

"It's getting late." I cut her off before she can keep pushing the subject as I get up from her bed. "I better get going."

"I could walk you to the bus station if you…"

"No. It's fine." I assure her, since I know she'd only use it as an excuse to keep prying answers out of me, and honestly I've already had enough talk about my mother today for my entire life. "Goodbye Anna." As I say this, I approach her and quickly peck her on the lips (more for obligation than anything) before heading to the door. "See you tomorrow." I say practically fleeing from her room, only taking a few seconds to say goodbye to her parents before exiting the house and running away.

Coward.

It's better to be a coward than keep talking about mother. I just hope Anna doesn't keep pressing on the subject. I don't think I would be able to resist that… I'd just break down again.