We did it.

We found someone whose claims about Noah and his Ark are even more ridiculous than Creationist Ken Ham.

(You can thank us later.)

Yavuz Örnek is a lecturer at Istanbul University, and he recently told TRT 1 (a state-run channel) that Noah was able to warn his son about the Great Flood before it hit… by calling him up on a cell phone.

“There were huge 300 to 400-meter high waves and his [the Prophet Noah’s] son was many kilometers away. The Quran says Noah spoke with his son. But how did they manage to communicate? Was it a miracle? It could be. But we believe he communicated with his son via cell phone,” Örnek said.

I guess if Noah could build an Ark large enough to hold two of every single species in the world, a proto-iPhone wouldn’t be out of the question…?

Örnek went on to say that the Ark was built, not of wood, but of steel plates. Oh. And it was powered by nuclear energy. And it wasn’t full of animals; Noah brought along sperm and eggs from all the species (to conserve space). And DON’T YOU DARE DOUBT HIS EXPERTISE.

“I am a scientist, I speak for science” Örnek added.

Örnek may claim to “speak for science,” but he didn’t provide any evidence of his claims. He just let the religious text serve as proof of its own claims. That’s too bad. Given how many 60-year-olds can’t work a smartphone, I would love to know how a 600-year-old builds a dumbphone.

In any case, Örnek has as much evidence as Ken Ham, so it looks like Ark Encounter will have to undergo a major renovation very soon.

Side note: If the host of the show looks familiar, it’s because she’s no stranger to hearing the deranged theories of religious men. A couple of years ago, Pelin Çift had to listen to a Muslim theologian explain all the kinds of sex that were forbidden in the faith, including “oral sex in advanced dimensions.”

(Thanks to Guy for the link)

