Let’s start this chapter out on a pleasant note shall we? Cause it’s not going to last long.

Here’s their beautifully decorated home, with a ridiculously expensive toilet that I bought because supposedly it’s “unbreakable”.

Stupid stupid thing.

Bill:”I’m not fixing it.”

Well let’s go to work then, lord knows those cases aren’t going to solve themselves.

First stop: A castle. You’d think they could afford someone a little more experienced…

Oh. Bill’s been hired by a child. To find her toothbrush.

Little girl that’s obviously a princess since she lives in a castle: “Well you see it was flown in from Moonlight Falls, it has fairy dust in the bristles…”

HAHAHA just kidding Bill the game decided the case was unsolvable. Well Bill still needs someone to make babies with so let’s go to a fancy resort so you can find a rich lady we can trick into this hell hole. I mean lovely household.

And that’s where we find this pretty lady:

Bill: “My mom’s a famous acrobat, maybe you’ve heard of her. Starship Banana Stand?”

Hinni:” HAHAHAHA! Oh! You’re serious. No.”

Speaking of our lovely legacy founder, let’s see what she’s doing.

Alaina:

“C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me

C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me

C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me

Oh, cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C”

Alaina: “Oopsy!”

Bill: “MOM! I’m hungry!

aaaargh -1

Bill: “Yum! I love cookies!”

Alaina: “My muscles need nutrients, why did I only make one cookie?”

Alaina: “Oh well! I’ll make some more I suppose. C is for cookie…”

The next morning it’s time for…

GRADUATION! Wait what? You guys have lived here for like 2 days already.

Bill:”They just got my transcripts. It was delivered by mermaid.”

Well where’s Alaina then?

Really? Come on! Honestly Alaina is kind of a failure of a mother, and her and Bill have a pretty horrible relationship, considering how much she doted on him as a child. Bill is constantly berating his mother for not being properly dressed.

Bill: “Honestly Mother? SWEATPANTS!?!”

Says the man wearing a snake skin speedo.

Since Alaina can no longer perform as an acrobat, and she needs to work on her parenting skills, I made the executive decision that she should become a teacher!

Alaina: “Listen up kids! I’m the teacher, so you have to give me all your cookies. That’s right! Open up those lunch bags!”

Oh this was definitely a good choice.

As you can tell from her face, she hates her job. Don’t worry! it’ll get better! Probably!

While Alaina’s at work, Bill’s getting ready for his date.

Oh. It’s genetic. Figures.

COME ON! Hinni’s preggos. And it’s not Bill’s. DAMN. Well who wants someone who’s dressed completely in beige anyways. On to the next! Luckily, Bill has a profile on Desperate Legacy Sims, the dating website, where he meets this chick, Gabrielle Arias.

Gabrielle: “I had a few drinks before I came to meet you in the cemetery. I was sooooo nervous *giggle*”

Bill: “Midriff”

Well Bill’s smitten. Hurry and seduce her before story progression can marry her off and impregnate her too.

Gabrielle: “Ya I have a boyfriend. He’s bald like you too!”

Hurry Bill! Make your move! She’s into baldies and you know your evil trait will love stealing someones girlfriend.

BOOYAH!

Alright! I’m promised Bill that I’d get him a girlfriend before I moved them out of this neighborhood. I really want to finish this legacy without breaking something so they HAVE to move. I sent Bill to go pick up Rietta then we’re off to a new hood!

Bill: I’m pretty sure this was the house…”

Rietta: “Maybe he won’t be able to see me in these bushes, and I can stay on this island paradise forever.”

NOPE! You’re coming with us!

Points-

Repo-Man:-1

Births: +2

Bladder Failure: -4

Pass out: -4

Completed lifetime wish:+5

Total Points: -2