The silly Wesley Sneijder rumours have now progressed far enough that they've come to the attention of the player himself. And that means it's quote-o-clock:

I have a great relationship with Jose Mourinho, we have kept in contact since our days at Inter Milan. Does Chelsea need a playmaker? I'm not sure. In football you can never be certain of what will happen next but I'm very happy in Turkey. Source: SporX via Turkish-Football.com

Let me see if I can run that through my footballer parser:

Chelsea have Eden Hazard, Juan Mata and Oscar and you think they're buying me? Are you out of your [funning] mind?

It's well known that Sneijder and Mourinho are close, and they've almost certainly been in contact since the Special One's return to Stamford Bridge was confirmed. But chat between friends does not mean that the club is interested in Sneijder's services, and the idea that we'd be seriously thinking about going after an expensive, inconsistent player who would have to compete with our slew of attacking midfielders for playing is frankly bizarre.

Sneijder's right to say that in football, anything could happen, but it's difficult to imagine a universe in which Michael Emenalo's brain spontaneously transmogrifies into a newt, and that's probably what would be required for this deal to go through.