Don't accept any Trump cigars

The din of Democrat backfires is deafening to all but the Democrats themselves. They are too busy howling from shooting themselves in the foot at every step of this no-holds-barred chess match. Pardon the mixed metaphors, but they have painted themselves into a corner even a rat would have trouble extricating itself from, leaving as the only option to burn down the whole house and start from scratch. At least that seems to be whirling around in Beto O'Rourke's foggy brain as he embarks on a soulful journey of self-discovery through the countryside, wondering if our Constitution is still relevant. "Can an empire like ours with military presence in over 170 countries around the globe, with trading relationships ... and security agreements in every continent, can it still be managed by the same principles that were set down 230-plus years ago?" Mr. O'Rourke mused in a recent interview with Jenna Johnson of the Washington Post.

He is apparently forgetting one of the great charters of the world, the Magna Carta, signed by the king of England in 1215. This tribute to human rights was a start and remains a solid foundation for governance because it placed limits on royal authority and determined that the monarch is not above the law. These principles never change simply by the passing of time or a new generation. Right will always be right. But Beto can be forgiven for his dreams of grandeur. It happened before his time. The left is beginning to appear like that hapless sap who is the unwitting victim of the oh, so funny exploding cigar. Smug in their tenuous grasp of power, leftists seem to be wasting political capital foolishly jousting with President Trump over border security and enforcement of immigration law, which many of them supported in recent years. Oops, sorry, I forgot – that was then, and this is now. The throwaway cards in this whole imbroglio are the American people. Madam Speaker Pelosi acts hurt and surprised by Angel Moms protesting outside her office. She seems impervious to their pleas for succor. The optics were not good when she and fellow Democrats planned a globe-hopping trip amid the government shutdown. Shaking with rage – or was she "cold"? – she was led back to her office at the Capitol when Trump postponed her all-expenses-paid trip around the world. Who can forget a reported $250,000 liquor bill on one of her trips during the Obama administration? Guess who paid. Give that girl a cigar. Requesting that the president forgo his SOTU blackened Pelosi's other eye. Appearing petty and churlish, she insulted the Secret Service by suggesting they could not provide adequate security – all the while forgetting she was planning an escape with her buddies to Brussels, Egypt, and Afghanistan, which, I presume, is still a war zone. Did she think about all the security that unmitigated move would require? Disinviting the president from his own address to the American people was thought brilliant by the Fourth Estate. Intelligencer pundit Frank Rich reported, "Pelosi Outmaneuvers Trump Once Again." Give that lady another Trump cigar. Heck, give Rich one, too. And where in the world is "Cryin'" Chuck Schumer during this debacle? Still trying to figure out how to hide his bald spot and nursing his grudge against Trump's hair? Trump's better at that, too, and his bald spot is well managed. Schumer is lying low because he has accepted Trump cigars before. And who's riding that train Sandy Cortez, aka Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, is driving? She wants to "run train" on the Progressive agenda, and everyone on that impending train wreck had better jump off before it's too late. Was it an overblown desire to build her street cred with the crude and vulgar elements of our society that prompted her to use such a vile term, which, in street parlance, is gang rape of a female victim? It was an unfortunate choice of words that was meant to shock and garner attention. Not really a good idea when murderous MS-13 gangs, thugs, human-traffickers, and drug-runners become a segment you wish to attract. Cigar, please – in fact, just leave the whole box. The moral of this fable is, don't accept any cigars from President Donald J. Trump. It's going to backfire in your face, and the brouhaha it causes is humiliating and ridiculous. He's much better at this game: he'll never run out of cigars, and he plays it to win it. A big win for the American people.