You've got your goths, your punks, your emo kids, your gangbangers, your jocks, your nerds, your proto-Juggalos, and your postmodern bronies: Life is full of bizarre subcultures based on mutual interest, and we've covered a few of them before . But then there are these baffling cliques, which seem to be based on a peyote vision or some terrible mistranslation in the Bible.

5 Mexico's Pointy-Booted Tribal Dance Culture

Associated Press/Dario Lopez-Mills

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Nope, those shoes are not Photoshopped. They're real, they're incredibly popular, and they make the Iron Sheik weep with envy. Known as "botas picudas," these Keebler Elf war-boots are all the rage among some Mexican men. They're the signature look of the tribal subculture, which involves dancing to a mixture of Native American, electronica, and African music for fabulous cash and prizes, which the winners then spend on even crazier-looking boots. It is the Circle of Boots that Elton John was trying to warn us about.

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We couldn't find any stories about tribal men botching a triple Lutz and impaling themselves on their own footwear, so apparently you can move in these things. The average pair costs about $30, but they're more if you make them sparkle and glitter like a rhinestone cowboy. Luckily, cardboard and colorful tape are all a poor kid needs to inadvertently kick himself in the junk with flair and panache.

Associated Press/Dario Lopez-Mills

"Now no one will ever laugh at me again!"

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This whole weaponized phallic footwear thing started thanks to one man, known as "Cesar of Huizache," who just showed up at a cobbler's shop and requested boots with curly, 3-foot-long toes. Since the customer is always right (even if they're clearly not right in the head), the cobbler made the boots. Cesar then went out dancing with them, and the rest is confusing, imbalanced history.