Colin: Our latest Patreon Poll has come to a close, and the people have (sort of) spoken. Asked to choose a monster as the next inhabitant of Handbook-World, our Quest Givers wound up punting the decision. With 48 total votes, the result was a perfect 50/50 split. And so, with the age old question of vampire vs. werewolf too close to call, we must make do with this monstrosity. Gaia help us all.

Laurel: After days of watching the poll switch back and forth before finally ending on a dead tie, Colin and I debated doing a tie-breaker but eventually settled on the idea of Miss Gestalt here, who has trouble choosing between ideas and therefore far too many character classes and themes and backgrounds squeezed into a single character sheet. Being both a vampire and a werewolf, she will very firmly be joining the side of evil as BBEG’s middle-manager.

Also, the WoD ribbing is very much with love–I’m a big fan of how over-the-top the lore gets, even if it gets us some silly concepts in the long run.

Colin: I love me some serious-face roleplay, but there’s something to be said for dialing a character concept up to 11 and going for balls-out camp. So even if BBEG is a little hard on the new hire, I’ve got to admit that there’s a special place in my heart for over-the-top backstories. (Longtime fans may recall our “Special Snowflake” oneshot, for example.) It’s the same impulse that gave rise to Dungeons: the Dragoning 40,000 7th Edition, as well as the much-loved tale of Slappy. That’s exactly the sort of uninhibited gaming goodness that I can get behind.

Laurel: My all-time weirdest character is a Pathfinder 1e concept that I’ve yet to actually play. It’s a fighter/sorcerer gestalt build I call “Kitsune-Kitsune,” and it involves beating your opponents to death with all nine of your very-fluffy tails. Because Kitsune-Kitsune was raised by a tribe of kobolds, she gets the tail terror feat. And through a liberal application of magical tail, she gets a lot of natural attacks along with a lot of spell-like abilities. Is it legal? Probably not. Fight me.

Colin: You guys already know my weirdest character. I described my goblin cabin boy Terrence Gilliam back in “The Help.” Sapping Henry VIII over the back of the head before riding off on a mastiff while dressed like Batman remains one of my fondest gaming memories. And by the thinnest possible logic, it also segues neatly into our question of the day.

Tell us all about your most insane character concepts! What ludicrous shenanigans have you pulled off at the table? What multiclassed monstrosities have you got lurking in your “build ideas” folder? Share all those half-dragon half-vampire half-angels down in the comments!

EARN BONUS LOOT! Check out the The Handbook of Heroes Patreon. We’ve got a sketch feed full of Laurel’s original concept art. We’ve got early access to comics. There’s physical schwag, personalized art, and a monthly vote to see which class gets featured in the comic next. And perhaps my personal favorite, we’ve been hard at work bringing a bimonthly NSFW Handbook of Erotic Fantasy comic to the world! So come one come all. Hurry while supplies of hot elf chicks lasts!