Authored By Sean Phipps

Last week, Thrillist released a respectable list of “the best” 14 Southern fast-food restaurant chains.

And even though I agree with several of author Liz Carpenter’s recommendations—some of which I’ve never tried because I don’t live in Texas—there are a few glaring omissions that need to be addressed.

Most of my fast-food consumption is limited to breakfast items. I’ll occasionally succumb to a Taco Bell craving for dinner or lunch (weakness), but that’s about it. The older I get, the less I want to eat terrible food.

Breakfast is a different story.

My dreams have gone from vivid sexual encounters with supermodels in my 20s to a slow-moving reel featuring a Bojangles’ country ham biscuit near my mouth in my 30s. I hear this is typical and not at all strange.

Anyway, enough about my dreams. Here are the “indisputably best” Southern fast-food restaurants and what I order from each.

What are your favorites? What’d I miss? Let me know in the comments below.

Pal’s

You’ll have to drive to Jefferson City, Tennessee, to find the closest Pal’s restaurant, but I’m almost tempted to tell you it’s worth it. Considered one of America’s “least-known … burger chains,” the menu consists of hot dogs, burgers and fries made with simple seasoning that hasn’t changed in 50 years. A majority of their restaurants also feature giant versions of the hot dogs, burgers and fries on the exterior. If you’re a Tri-Cities native, you know they serve the best sweet tea in huge 32-ounce cups. The breakfast is an underrated favorite. Get a country ham biscuit and a side of cheddar rounds—hashbrown bites stuffed with cheddar cheese. Thank me later. And please come to Chattanooga.

Bojangles’

“It’s Bo time!” often for this writer because I happen to live two minutes from a Bojangles’ Famous Chicken ‘n Biscuits establishment. My obsession with Bojangles’ has led to some strange behavior—the birth of “Popejangles,” for example—and I’ve yet to hear from their marketing department about my proposal to serve as the face of the company. Despite their refusal to bring Popejangles to the masses, I will continue to enjoy my country ham biscuits and bacon and egg (no cheese) biscuits, complete with a small coffee, black. Bojangles’ will always have my blessing, and I expect them to offer the same in return. Popejangles. C’mon, that’s a great character!

Chick-fil-A

Atlanta-based Chick-fil-A is a restaurant I struggle with. It’s hard to deny the popularity, but it’s also difficult to ignore the conservative politics, outward religiosity and the 2012 same-sex marriage controversy. On the other hand, I’m not a flagrant boycotter of businesses because of their politics, because I live in Tennessee and, you know, that’s just how it is here. So I consider Chick-fil-A worthy of the list solely based on the quality of that damn addictive chicken. You won’t find a better fast-food chicken sandwich anywhere. And those waffle fries. You could force me to read Bible verses all day long if you throw me a nugget or two. I’m easily swayed by fried chicken.

Krystal

I couldn’t call myself a proper Chattanoogan without adding the hometown Krystal to the list. My office is just a few blocks from the original Krystal restaurant in downtown Chattanooga. Sackfuls and my favorite meal—three Krystal Chiks and fries—helped get me through college and recover from many a late-night hangover. The Cherokee Boulevard location remains the only restaurant I’ve thrown up inside. Ahh, memories. Breakfast has always been a bit disappointing, but the soggy fries, gut-bomb burgers and convenience will always take me back to college and remind me of my new hometown. Just make sure you have a bottle of antacids handy.

Waffle House

I don’t remember my first visit to a Waffle House, but I’ve often had the thought, “If life doesn’t get any better than this, I’ll be OK” when having a cup of coffee with a plate of eggs and bacon at the counter. More than just a Southern icon, a Waffle House visit is also a show. It’s a place where solitary people can always find an interesting conversation, a place that, in my opinion, is a better “show” than any Japanese steakhouse could provide. It’s where my dad took me on Sunday mornings before we went flea market bargain hunting, and it’s where I hope to take my kids one day on those mornings when the rest of the house is asleep. Join the Waffle House Regulars Club for deals. I just got a free waffle coupon this morning.

The opinions expressed in this column belong solely to the author, not Nooga.com or its employees.