Forgotten Building of Maths and Sciences – The University Math Department Monday announced a donation from an anonymous donor, dedicated to keeping the math department’s facilities current in the ever-changing world of technology. Half of the $300 donation, the biggest in the history of the Math Department, will go towards the purchasing of a bigger slide rule, which will help students visualize on a number line large addition, subtraction, and multiplication. The remaining $200 will go towards replenishing the Math Department’s depleting stockpile of chalk.

A Campus Bulletin reporter contacted Math Department Chair Dr. Jacob Schimenhiemer for comment, but his remarks were very technical and went by too quickly for our reporter to write down before he had moved on to the next question. At press time, several sleeping freshmen students were being awakened abruptly from their slumber by the uncomfortable sound of the new chalk shrieking on the chalkboard from the front of the classroom.