* NickWasHere09 (webchat@no-9us.orl.dls20q.IP) has joined

<CloserToAscendance> i sucked at cs when i played it

<NickWasHere09> hello

<EvilHom3r> csgo doesn't even have any hats

<kwulhu> chess is for casuals

<SwiftC7> thats gonna get signed up for esea soon :D

<EvilHom3r> ~newguy NickWasHere09

<RariBot> NickWasHere09, please enjoy the following image albums http://imgur.com/a/NFrRo http://imgur.com/a/F2XQv http://imgur.com/a/wJmdV http://imgur.com/a/wVDx6 http://imgur.com/a/ueAHb http://imgur.com/a/h2xJa http://imgur.com/a/hEuEd http://imgur.com/a/EaBpy

<CloserToAscendance> i'm much more used to UT/q3a style shooters

<kwulhu> russian roulette is where it's at

<NickWasHere09> yessssssssssssss

<kwulhu> anything less is for pussies

<Boobymurderers> let's play russian roulette

<Boobymurderers> do we have a dice function

<kwulhu> ~roll 1d6

<RariBot> Results: 4

<Boobymurderers> okay

<Boobymurderers> let's play

<kwulhu> okay

<Boobymurderers> 6 is a bullet

<kwulhu> rolling 1 kills you

<Boobymurderers> I go first

<Boobymurderers> wait

<Boobymurderers> okay

<Boobymurderers> rolling 1

<jeepfood> ~roll 1d6

<RariBot> Results: 1

<Boobymurderers> kills you

<kwulhu> next person rolls 1d5

<EvilHom3r> 6 is jizz

<Boobymurderers> OMG

<Boobymurderers> JEEP

<kwulhu> fuck

<Boobymurderers> NO

<kwulhu> you're dead

<Boobymurderers> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

<Boobymurderers> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

<jeepfood> 2slow

<Boobymurderers> 1 is dead

<Boobymurderers> 6 is cumshot

<kwulhu> ;____;

<Boobymurderers> ~roll 1d6

<RariBot> Results: 4

<kwulhu> click

<kwulhu> ~roll 1d5

<RariBot> Results: 1

<kwulhu> FUUUUUUU

<kwulhu> CK

<Boobymurderers> KWUHLU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

<Boobymurderers> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

<agentgamma> ~roll 1d6

<RariBot> Results: 4

<jeepfood> ~roll 1d4

<RariBot> Results: 2

<Boobymurderers> RIP 2013-2014

<CloserToAscendance> ~roll 1d6

<RariBot> Results: 6

<CloserToAscendance> i like

<Boobymurderers> CTA got cumshotted and he's not even a fag haha

<kwulhu> seriously

<kwulhu> people have actually played russian roulette

<jeepfood> lets play DmD

<kwulhu> how the fuck

<jeepfood> yes

<kwulhu> how do you decide to do that?

<jeepfood> kwu

<kwulhu> what's the incentive?

<jeepfood> be our mungeon master

<zooman> holy shit

<kwulhu> not tonight

<zooman> i forgot /r/metalporn existed

<RariBot> http://reddit.com/r/metalporn

<jeepfood> do it

<zooman> unf

<kwulhu> actually

<kwulhu> here we go

* zooman masturbates

<kwulhu> okay

<kwulhu> fourteen liches come in

<jeepfood> shit

<jeepfood> umm

<kwulhu> they all nuke jeep with death spells

<jeepfood> ;_;

* Princess_Pwny licks kwulhu

<kwulhu> roll for a save, jeepfood

<kwulhu> 1d20

* zooman cums into all of pwny's holes

<jeepfood> wha~roll 1d20

* kwulhu hugs Princess_Pwny

<jeepfood> ~roll 1d20

<RariBot> Results: 1

<Princess_Pwny> :3

<jeepfood> do

<kwulhu> critical failure

<CloserToAscendance> wat a baddie

<jeepfood> ;_;

<kwulhu> CRITICAL FAILURE

<CloserToAscendance> 1 3 5 14 17

<CloserToAscendance> ~roll 1d38

<RariBot> Results: 15

<kwulhu> there is nothing left of your corpse

<kwulhu> seriously

<kwulhu> could not have been worse

<jeepfood> i never existed

<jeepfood> the whole thing never happened

<kwulhu> also

<jeepfood> you have never and never will exist

<kwulhu> ;_;

<jeepfood> k

<jeepfood> new game

<kwulhu> k

<jeepfood> pwny

<kwulhu> you enter the dungeon

<jeepfood> wait

<jeepfood> wait

<jeepfood> wait

<jeepfood> i need to choose my class and loadout

<Spammy> I'm trying to practice my shitty handwriting

<Princess_Pwny> jeepfood: jeepfood

<kwulhu> there's a floating eyeball with little mouths on its head

<kwulhu> what do?

<jeepfood> a beholder?

<EvilHom3r> put a dick in it

<jeepfood> ^

<kwulhu> your character doesn't know what a beholder is

<kwulhu> but yes

<jeepfood> roll to dick it?

<kwulhu> yes

<jeepfood> homer

<kwulhu> roll 1d20

<jeepfood> roll

<Spammy> http://i.imgur.com/ZPtp4vi.png

<EvilHom3r> ~roll 1d20

<RariBot> Results: 10

<Spammy> amidoingitrite?

<kwulhu> k

<EvilHom3r> did it get dicked

<kwulhu> do you have any modifiers, EvilHom3r?

<jeepfood> umm

<Spammy> Fuck it

<EvilHom3r> dildo

<EvilHom3r> modifier

<Spammy> I'm gonna be a doctor then

<kwulhu> no

<jeepfood> +4 to sexiness

<kwulhu> the beholder opens its eye

<Spammy> And write prescriptions with my shit handwriting

<kwulhu> and uses its death ray on your dick

<kwulhu> like

<kwulhu> your dick dies

<kwulhu> specifically

<jeepfood> adds 4 to any sex related check

<kwulhu> what do

<kwulhu> ?

<jeepfood> is it my turn?

<kwulhu> yes

<jeepfood> umm

<Boobymurderers> my character is a fox cleric

<jeepfood> im a dwarven barbarian

<kwulhu> k

<kwulhu> what do?

<jeepfood> can i run out of this place?

<kwulhu> beholder just killed hom3r's dick

<kwulhu> you can try

<Spammy> I made my charactor a neckbeard

<EvilHom3r> hot

<Spammy> Who plays dungeons and dragons in his spare time

<jeepfood> ok i try to run to the exit

* EvilHom3r masturbates

<Spammy> http://i.imgur.com/ZPtp4vi.png

<kwulhu> I think beholders have some sort of mechanism for catching runners

<Spammy> I needs dem feedback for my ego

<Boobymurderers> * I try to run *

<jeepfood> WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME

<kwulhu> I'm not sure

<kwulhu> I don't have a monster manual

<jeepfood> well then house rules

<kwulhu> k

<kwulhu> the beholder bites EvilHom3r's dick off

<jeepfood> hah

<jeepfood> GG homer

<kwulhu> EvilHom3r can no longer masturbate

<kwulhu> jeepfood escapes

<kwulhu> Boobymurderers escapes

<Boobymurderers> I did it!

<Boobymurderers> b-baka!

<Spammy> (´･ω･`)

<kwulhu> you leave the dungeon and find yourselves in a tavern

<Spammy> pls respond

<jeepfood> wat

<Boobymurderers> order beer

<kwulhu> oddly enough, the observer was in a room of a tavern

<jeepfood> ah

<kwulhu> wat

<jeepfood> well

<kwulhu> observer?

<kwulhu> beholder

<jeepfood> describe the place

<Boobymurderers> > order beer

<Spammy> I rolled an ogre who is ill-it-err-et

<jeepfood> shush

<kwulhu> it's dingy

<jeepfood> its not your turn

<Spammy> RAAAOR

<kwulhu> there's booze everywhere

<Boobymurderers> wat

<Boobymurderers> fine

<kwulhu> people gambling on tables

<Boobymurderers> I wait

<Spammy> ME WANT CRITIQUE

<kwulhu> one of the guys is masturbating in the corner

<Spammy> Damnit hom3r

<Spammy> Hom3r rolls for faps

<EvilHom3r> pls

<Spammy> D20

<kwulhu> hom3r has no dick anymore

<EvilHom3r> I can masturbate without a dick

<Spammy> He rips his dick off

<EvilHom3r> I have a dildo

<kwulhu> okay

<EvilHom3r> and balls

<Spammy> Roll for dildo

<kwulhu> the bartender is a lich

<Spammy> D20

<Boobymurderers> ORDER BEER

<kwulhu> still want beer?

<kwulhu> k

<jeepfood> shut the fuck up spammu

<Spammy> He shoves the dildo so hard up his ass he dies

<EvilHom3r> pls

<kwulhu> beer is two copper

<EvilHom3r> my anus is invincible

<Spammy> (´･ω･`)

<Boobymurderers> I'll give him three copper for two beer

<Spammy> Your lower intestine aint

<kwulhu> okay

<kwulhu> this lich just happens to be retarde

* Spammy has quit (Quit: Web client closed)

<kwulhu> he gives you a mug with a goblin cock in floating in piss

<kwulhu> the type of piss is unknown

<Boobymurderers> attempt to chug

<kwulhu> what do?

<kwulhu> okay

<kwulhu> roll 1d20

<Boobymurderers> ~roll 1d20

<RariBot> Results: 2

<kwulhu> constitution modifier counts

<DrinkiePie> ~roll 1d20

<RariBot> Results: 9

<DrinkiePie> IM BETTER

<jeepfood> what does the guy jacking it in the corner look like

<DrinkiePie> FAGLET

<jeepfood> ?

<Boobymurderers> I am not a faglet :c

<kwulhu> he looks like vin diesel

<Boobymurderers> did I get it down

<NickWasHere09> lol

<kwulhu> and he's fapping intensely

<kwulhu> also

<kwulhu> you cough up the goblin cock

<kwulhu> the lich is offended

<jeepfood> i tap on his shoulder and ask him if he needs a hand

<kwulhu> he pulls out the goblin from under the bar

<kwulhu> the goblin says in a button-like voice "you want me to choke you with my COCK?"

<kwulhu> he grabs his severed penis and starts running up to you

<kwulhu> okay

<kwulhu> jeepfood: he says he'd prefer a foot

<jeepfood> are there people around me?

<kwulhu> yes

<kwulhu> it's a crowded tavern

<Boobymurderers> I attempt to run

<jeepfood> i have like what an axe?

<kwulhu> okay

<kwulhu> roll 1d20

<Boobymurderers> ~roll 1d20

<RariBot> Results: 8

<kwulhu> what's your class again?

<Boobymurderers> cleric

<jeepfood> barbarian

<Boobymurderers> I'm a fox

<jeepfood> im a dwarf

<kwulhu> okay

<kwulhu> you have an axe, jeepfood

<kwulhu> okay

<kwulhu> I'm gonna say you got away, Boobymurderers

<jeepfood> i pick out the weakest guy near me and attempt to chop off his foot

<kwulhu> okay

<kwulhu> roll 1d20

<jeepfood> ~roll 1d20

<RariBot> Results: 14

<EvilHom3r> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed489soVIq8

<Boobymurderers> I got away

<RariBot> Derren Brown Plays Russian Roulette Live (2003) | 281,294 | 89% | 0:15:00

<kwulhu> nice

<kwulhu> you get the foot

<jeepfood> yay

<kwulhu> but the guy is screaming like shit

<jeepfood> so?

<kwulhu> okay

<jeepfood> i go back to vin diesel

<kwulhu> Boobymurderers: the goblin falls off the bar and accidentally lets go of his dick

<jeepfood> and tap him on the shoulder and ask if he needs a hand again

<kwulhu> it goes flying across the room and lands in jeepfood's hair

* theclinger has kicked Princess_Pwny from #MLAS1 (theclinger)

<jeepfood> well?

<kwulhu> it's too late

<kwulhu> he already came

<jeepfood> damnit

* Princess_Pwny (Princess_Pw@Canterlot.castle) has joined

<kwulhu> the goblin cock was too much for him to handle

<kwulhu> anyway

<jeepfood> i go back to the bleeding man

<jeepfood> and hand him his foot

<kwulhu> not so fast

<kwulhu> the front door flies off its hinges

<kwulhu> some armored guards are in the doorway

<kwulhu> with some scumbag in rags standing with them

<kwulhu> "that's him!" he says, pointing at you.

<jeepfood> ;_;

<Boobymurderers> I run away

<kwulhu> where?

<kwulhu> the guards are in the only door out

<kwulhu> and they're not even after you

<jeepfood> are there windows?

<kwulhu> they want jeep

<jeepfood> wait

<kwulhu> they're small

<jeepfood> booby

<jeepfood> booby

<jeepfood> stay where you are

<kwulhu> not wide enough for dwarvish barbarians

<jeepfood> you might be able to bail me out

<Boobymurderers> I talk to the guards

<kwulhu> k

<kwulhu> what do you say?

<Boobymurderers> let me rape him as punishment

<Boobymurderers> I have a 12 inch fox cock

<Boobymurderers> that will tear him apart

<Boobymurderers> from the insides

<kwulhu> guard: that would be ridiculous

<kwulhu> we at least need to spitroast him

<kwulhu> try the eiffel tower position

<jeepfood> theyre not looking at me right?

<kwulhu> don't be so greedy

<kwulhu> they're looking at Boobymurderers

<jeepfood> umm

<jeepfood> i go to the window ans start hacking at it with my axe to make it bigger

<kwulhu> oh shit

<kwulhu> the guards notice the racket

<Boobymurderers> what does spitroast mean

<kwulhu> GET HIM!

<kwulhu> oh

<kwulhu> fuck from both sides

<jeepfood> ~ud spitroast

<RariBot> Verb: to spit roast. A sexual activity involving 3 people, two active males and one passive (male or female). Man 1 pentrates person 2 from the rear (anal or vaginal) while he/she sucks the penis of person 3. Noun: The act off...

<kwulhu> ^

<jeepfood> wait wait wait

<Boobymurderers> oh wow

* EvilHom3r starts jizzing out of his cockless crotch

<jeepfood> do i even get a check?

<kwulhu> you will

* EvilHom3r covers the floor and the guards slip on it

<kwulhu> they're gonna try to tackle you

<kwulhu> one guard gets stuck in the jizz

<kwulhu> roll to dodge, jeepfood

<jeepfood> ~roll 1d20

<RariBot> Results: 1

<jeepfood> FUCK

<kwulhu> :I

<kwulhu> critical failure

<kwulhu> in your attempt to dodge you fall over and knock yourself our

<kwulhu> out*

<Boobymurderers> I start rubbing my penis

<kwulhu> good

<kwulhu> the guard starts to hogtie you

<jeepfood> no

<kwulhu> guard: come with us, fox priest

<kwulhu> we are going to the lord's rape lair

<jeepfood> i dont want this

<jeepfood> also

<jeepfood> when did we start playing FATAL?

<kwulhu> dafuq is FATAL?

<jeepfood> ~g 1d4chan FATAL

<RariBot> FATAL - 1d4chan: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/FATAL

* agentgamma_ (webchat@no-j8a.p18.3h680q.IP) has joined

* agentgamma_ is now known as agentgummy

<kwulhu> jesus fuck

<kwulhu> somebody spent a lot of time making this game

<Boobymurderers> I follow

<CloserToAscendance> roll for anal circumference

<jeepfood> what the fuck

<jeepfood> what

<jeepfood> \the

<jeepfood> fuck

<kwulhu> so everybody gets on the prisoners' wagon

* agentgamma has quit (Ping timeout: 121 seconds)

<kwulhu> and you start heading to the rape lair

<kwulhu> jeep strapped to the rape barrel

<kwulhu> in a perfect spitroasting position

<kwulhu> but then some demon from hell comes out of his ass and kills everybody

<kwulhu> roll to retroactively not die

<jeepfood> ~roll 1d20

<RariBot> Results: 7

<Reddit> mylittleandysonic1 http://redd.it/1w3jtv > [PerturbedPropagator] 新的一集 QI

<kwulhu> rip in peace, jeepfood

<kwulhu> you went out like a man

<kwulhu> also

<kwulhu> not rolling just means you're dead

<kwulhu> #rekt

<kwulhu> #itsallogre

<jeepfood> ;_;

<kwulhu> #ididn'tevenwanttobedm

<kwulhu> also

<kwulhu> jeepfood wins

<jeepfood> wut

<kwulhu> I sent him a genie to offer rapex for his butt

<kwulhu> but he turned it down

<kwulhu> and thanks to his bravery everybody is dead

<kwulhu> ~g rapex

<RariBot> Rapex - European Commission - Europa: http://ec.europa.eu/consumers/safety/rapex/alerts/

<kwulhu> :I

<kwulhu> whatever

<kwulhu> also

<kwulhu> EvilHom3r jizzed out all his insides

<kwulhu> it was pretty metal

<kwulhu> also