Rain in January. As a snow lover, I am saddened by this.

On this post-holiday morning, I find myself recollecting winters of yore, when snow was plentiful and my serenity knew no bounds.

Rain in January.

Rainuary.

Do you summer lovers want pumpkin pie in July? No, you don’t. And if you say you do, then you are just being obstinate. What if pumpkins invaded your summer beach vacation? You’d be inconsolable, lying on your sad little inflatable pool raft, drinking a pumpkin beer.

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Snow lovers in our region get anywhere between 45 minutes to 11 days a year to appreciate winter. Summer has been making brazen incursions on us from the front end, while spring is sneaking up on us from the back end. Snow lovers are basically stuck in the Alamo every single winter.

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It’s bad enough that even in the coldest months of the year, we are up against the dreaded rain-snow line, which always lines up right over my house.

But when the rain-snow line during a January low pressure system isn’t even part of the equation? It is simply heartbreaking. We are left without the one thing that sustains snow lovers: hope.

Snow lovers are always looking forward, optimistic about the potential for the next big thing. It’s basically like this:

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Say you are looking forward to a blind date. The person, at least several days out, has the potential of being a good match for you. You both read, enjoy long walks on the beach, and birdwatching. But as you get to know each other over dinner, something is off. There won’t be a second date. You know this. They know this.

Not to fear though, because there is another blind date next week and the potential for that one, several days out, is even better! You’ll definitely be keeping a keen eye out for that one!

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Rain in January is hard to deal with.

What makes it even harder is the fact that time is not on our side. Days are getting longer. People are muttering about their spring break plans already. Short pants are on store shelves. And worst of all, spring beers are being shipped to our favorite stores. I just threw up in my mouth a little at the thought of that.

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Yes, we need the rain. Snow lovers understand that droughts are not a good thing. However, there is a little known meteorological fact that I want to share with you laypeople: Snow melts into liquid, which then saturates the ground. That seems to be the compromise that would make everyone happy. We get our precious snow and worriers over drought get that snow melt eventually.

If only it were that simple.

Look, I have come to appreciate all seasons and I am grateful for the fact that I live in an area that has them. But these brazen incursions into my favorite seasons, by my least favorite seasons, has got to end.

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Rain, rain, go away. Come back in spring, you selfish jerk.

Josh Lorenzo (a.k.a. AoS/Author of Sarcasm) is a longtime reader and active contributor to witty comments on the Capital Weather Gang blog. All opinions are his own — and make us smile.