The June topic for Bloggers for Peace is peace in your relationships.

Peace = freedom from oppressive emotions

Peace is defined as freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions. Achieving this state within ourselves is a worthy goal; but we have a lot of our “humanness” to fight in order to reach it.

Fear is a normal part of life

Fear is one of those human emotions programmed into us that separates us from a state of peace. If you’re afraid, you cannot find peace, with yourself or with others. Certainly, fear has its place; if you’re being chased by a bear, you’d better feel fear to help find a way out. That’s a healthy fear, one that helps keep you safe.

However, most fear we experience is “unhealthy” fear: something to which we have a fear response but which really won’t hurt us, and which can hold us back from achieving our goals – and from experiencing more peace in our lives.

For instance, being afraid to speak in public is an unhealthy fear; it’s not dangerous to get up in front of a group (after all, most audiences don’t throw things at speakers they don’t like), and being able to do so may further our careers or other goals.

We’re not conscious of many of our fears

It’s normal to have unhealthy fears; it’s part of life. In fact, most people have many fears they may not even be conscious of. In addition to the “common” fears we can all name (public speaking, flying, skydiving, etc), there are many types of fear we accept as “part of life.” Some, for instance, are changing jobs; taking a chance in your job; poor relations with a boss or other co-workers; trying a new relationship; moving on from a bad relationship; speaking your feelings or needs to a family member or friend… and the list goes on.

Try listening to other people talk – you can hear the fear in what they say. What makes them unhappy? Why don’t they change it? Many, many people live with fear of moving forward in one or many ways. Then listen to your own thoughts; how much fear do you live with? And what is it costing you?

Change your thoughts, change your feelings, eliminate your fear

The good news is we can change this … and it’s easy – relatively, at least. They key is to remember our thoughts shape our beliefs and feelings. Change your thoughts, change your feelings, eliminate your fear.

Yes, it sounds much more simple that it really is. If you’re interested in trying some techniques, check out these cognitive-behavioral techniques. They may help get you on the right track.

Put your child on the right track early

When you realize how much fear is in your everyday life, it becomes even more obvious why it’s so important to help our children learn techniques for overcoming fear when they’re young. You’ll never be able to eliminate a person’s fear reaction – and you wouldn’t want to. But what you can do is help your child learn techniques to help him face – and overcome – that fear when it does arise.

A few more Peace in Relationships posts

For more posts on Peace in Relationships, please visit:

Through the Peacock’s eyes, who talks about peace at home beginning with each of us

Kelly Kuhn.com, who looks at how she healed her relationship with her mother

JRosenberry1, who shows how the Komainu, Japanese Shinto lion-dogs, represent the “perfect relationship.”