“Intersectionality”- a term coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, a black legal scholar, in 1989 seems to be heading up the black feminist movement these days. I can’t say that I am a feminist so much as a me-ist (if that’s a word). In my 42 years of living on this planet, I’ve learned that black women are only as good as the struggles for which we fight and if we choose not to regurgitate the rhetoric of the masses, we are deemed as “problematic” (another buzzword used to death by SJW’s).

Well, guess who’s a muthafuckin’ problem? I saw a status on FaceBook which caught my attention. It was a status about women referring to themselves as “cis-women” instead. There was some other foolishness involved like calling a vagina a “front hole” but that is irrelevant to me.

Needless to say, she was attacked by primarily black women, gay men and transwomen. This sister maintained her composure throughout this debacle. Speaking candidly, arguments on BOTH sides were messy but Jamie stayed poised and responded appropriately in lieu of the shitty ass treatment she endured.

It was strange because I had been feeling like this for quite some time and obviously, other black women feel the same as well. At one point, I blindly defended black transwomen. I realized that was not my portion. There are behaviors that exist that as a black woman, I’m not defending. The erasure of the word “trans” in front of woman when describing transwomen appears to be deceptive. Especially, when said person self-identifies as a woman while practicing misogyny and toxic masculinity. You don’t get to dump your male privilege on me and ask me to call you a “woman”. NO MA’AM.

It’s dubiously assumptive to call black women who challenge your arrogance and entitlement “transphobic”. It’s, also, sinister as hell to have black women do your bidding for you. All of a sudden, the “women” with whom you’ve aligned yourself are NOW “jealous bitches”, “violent”, and “misogynistic”.

I watched other black women COSIGN this bullshit. I saw ridiculous and completely false comparisons of violence against black transwomen being greater than violence against black women. 4.5% of the number of black women murdered in a year make how many transwomen were murdered and this includes white transwomen. Do you see where this is going? Even insinuating that violence against transwomen happens because black women aren’t caping for them is complete and utter BULLSHIT. Black women are more likely to die at the hands of black men than anybody else. So how could we, possibly, perpetuate violence against anyone? Would that be the same violence that quite a few black gay men perpetuated on Jamie’s post against black women? Who policed that? Where was the intersectionality then?

*Shout out to my Godbrother Michael- who spoke up for me.. I love you, manito!*

Intersectionality seems to only apply when black women are speaking and acting on behalf of the “oppressed and marginalized”. And those lines, conveniently, disappear when it’s applicable to sisters. How fucking ironic!

I am centering black women and children. First. And always. And throwing around words ending in “phobic” isn’t going to change my mind. I learned a lot during the week that post set Facebook aflame. I learned that even when folks claim they love black women. The love is there as long as black women sing YOUR song. As soon as we center ourselves, we aren’t given your alliances. Even mediocre ass white women think they can come for us while summoning “da kneegrows” to “handle us”.

My prescription for self-care is to not worry about those who have yet to prove they are worthy of my alliance. I used to give passes for all black folks until I realized- all skinfolk, ain’t kinfolk. To all of my sisters, if intersectionality does not CENTER you ( the most marginalized of everyone on this earth), change your alliances.

I need everybody to become familiar with the definition below. Understand that interpersonal relationships matter when deciding to come for people. If I fuck with you whether you are lesbian, fat, white, gay, transgendered, ugly, pretty, skinny, stupid, smart, funky, male or female and I don’t agree with something somebody does or says- it is not a personal attack against who YOU are. I don’t have to see eye to eye with you to love you or protect you. If you’re my people, disagreement aside- and we have an understanding…. believe we are rocking.

My blackness, femininity, activism, power, love, hugs, strength, tears, ferocity and time ARE NOT FOR EVERYBODY. I am making that abundantly clear. It is NOT up for negotiation. Your feelings matter not and I’m fresh out of fux.

pho·bi·a

ˈfōbēə/Submit

noun

noun: phobia; plural noun: phobias

an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something.

“he had a phobia about being under water”

synonyms: fear, irrational fear, obsessive fear, dread, horror, terror, hatred, loathing, detestation, aversion, antipathy, revulsion;