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The ABC has today announced a new restructuring package expected to include focus groups with thousands of people not from inner-city Sydney to discuss a new kind of ‘diversity’.

This particular type of ‘diversity’ is in reference to people who aren’t white Sydney uni graduates, as opposed to their usual type of diversity which was come to mean white Sydney uni graduates that are gay.

This follows the news that the two most bankable movie stars in the world are both of Polynesia heritage. And no we aren’t talking about Keanu.

Jason Momoa has broken records in his role as the DC Comics hero, Aquaman, as the movie passed the $1 billion mark last weekend, becoming only the third DC Comics adaptation to cross that major box office milestone. Previously, The Dark Knight took $1.004 billion in 2008 and The Dark Knight Rises crossed $1.084 billion in 2012.

However, as momentous as these box office records are, the film has still not generated as much money as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson has by starring in like five different Fast and the Furious movies – as well as every second action film since the turn of the century.

These representation of Polynesians in both film and music across the US has sparked embarrassment across the Australian media landscape, when considering Pacific Islanders make up a much bigger percentage of our population.

The Australian Public Broadcaster are at a loss to explain why they haven’t cast any Islanders on any of their programs since Jay Laga’aia was on Play School.

“We understand we can’t cast white people in these roles anymore, particularly not white comedians with the sole focus of making Islanders looks like idiots” said ABC TV director, Wyatt Sidney-Eleght.

“It’s just that…”

“Look we need to have some focus groups… I literally haven’t seen one Polynesian in between my commute from Balmain to Ultimo since I got the job here twenty years ago”

“Even the the security guards at the casino are just white guys with spikey hair”