MIT Janitor Brilliant at Mathcore

BOSTON — MIT janitor Will Chase is allegedly brilliant at mathcore, according to university staff members who caught him secretly playing deeply complex guitar riffs on campus.

Professor Gerald Lambert made the discovery when grading a quiz after hours one night, hearing the faint echo of sweeping arpeggios at 2,000 beats per minute.

“As I tracked the source of the shredding, I couldn’t help but notice the elaborate time signatures. Arrhythmic, yet intricate. I found this member of the cleaning staff, hidden in a supply closet with a micro-crush, plowing through Dillinger Escape Plan’s ‘Sugar Coated Sour,’” said Lambert. “I naturally assumed there was something suspicious afoot. But when I asked him to play it again, he stormed off, insisting I insert the guitar somewhere I should not repeat.”

Lambert reportedly followed Chase for weeks, imploring him to take his talents out of the closet and onto the stage.

“My band, Infinite Zero, never quite took off, but if I could cultivate his raw ability, we could develop something really special,” said Lambert. “Infinite Zero toured with Deadguy in ’96, but broke up after we got home. We didn’t see a future for technical hardcore at the time.”

Chase’s friends claimed they’ve urged him to pursue his secret passion. Chuckie Sullivan, a childhood best friend and former bandmate, is one of his most vocal supporters.

“You know what the best part of my day is? When I go to pick him up. The few seconds walking from the van to the front door, when I think, maybe he won’t be there. Maybe I won’t hear his rearrangement of Hella’s Hold Your Horse Is buzzing through the walls,” said Sullivan between drags of a cigarette. “No goodbye. Nothing. He just took that Orange double-stack and left.”

While Lambert had lined up several job opportunities for Chase with studio musicians, the reclusive prodigy reportedly turned them all down to instead go on tour, leaving behind a single, solitary note. “It simply read, ‘Sorry, I had to go see about a power-pop band,’” said Lambert.

Photo by Kyle Erf @KyleErf.