When you are fast asleep, Chuck is faster.

Chuck Norris can win a staring contest while blinking.

Chuck Norris can dry his hair under water.

Chuck Norris once beat a wall at tennis.

Chuck Norris can go past the Character limit.

Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.

Chuck Norris can eat one pringle.

Chuck Norris' cat has 10 lives.

Chuck Norris can grill a popsicle.

Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.

Chuck Norris will make your hair grow faster than Rogaine.

Chuck Norris can find the 404 page.

To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.

Chuck Norris' bones break sticks and stones.

The French talk to Chuck Norris in English.

Chuck Norris once thought he was wrong. He was, however, mistaken.

Everyone has a guardian angel except Chuck... he guards himself.

Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.

The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.

Chuck Norris can laugh with a straight face.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoe while running

Chuck Norris did it his way and Sinatra sang about it.

Chuck Norris can bake in a Freezer.

Chuck Norris has size ten feet but wears size three shoes.

Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.

The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.

Chuck Norris understands women.

Chuck fires a 6-round revolver 7 times.

Chuck Norris CAN talk about fight club.

Chuck Norris voids warranties.

Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.

Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch.

Chuck Norris can look at you in a tone of voice.

Chuck Norris can break water in half.

If Chuck Norris were a vegetable he'd be a Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once bought Chicago pizza in Seattle.

Chuck Norris caught a bullet by blinking.

Chuck Norris is Simon Cowell's judge.

Chuck Norris Let The Dogs Out.

It's never a party without Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the dumbells get tired.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When Chuck Norris claps his hands thunder stays quiet.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.