This is the original illustration that went along with the story

I wrote this opinion piece when I was 16 years-old for my High School newspaper. It came from a talk we had one day in the journalism room with some of the Senior boys, who hated asking girls out to dances because they never knew what type of dress they’d have to dance with all night. It sort of went “viral” at my high school and was the first time I’d ever gotten attention for writing, good and bad. I consider it a pretty pivotal piece in my writing “career”, because it made me realize that if you said things well people would listen to you.

A few years ago my step-sister sent me a text telling me that her Seminary teacher had read it to them in her class. Apparently even 12 years later it was still a hit. I begged her to get me a copy of it and she sent me a photocopy of the original piece. I recently found it at the bottom of a drawer and thought I’d share it.

Please remember this was written by my 16-year-old self. The title of the post is the original headline it had in the school paper and I have kept it just as I wrote it, punctuation and everything. I think the Speedo analogy is still a good one, but it has taken a lot of self-control to not change things, because I’m sure today I wouldn’t use words like “disgust” or “extreme public humiliation” when talking about other people. We all grow as writers and as people. So just keep that in mind.

“I look absolutely beautiful.” These were her thoughts as she primped and preened herself for the Sweetheart Ball. She and her mother had hunted all over town trying to find a dress with a high neckline and sleeves (she didn’t want her date to get the wrong impression). After hours of preparation she was ready. She hopped in the car and drove over to pick up her date. When she arrived at his house she nervously took one more quick look in the mirror and anxiously walked up to his door and rang the bell. His mom answered the door and invited her into the front room.

A few minutes later he walked into the room. Her jaw dropped and not because he looked good. His hair looked nice, his bow tie was straight and his jacked was sharp but he was wearing a Speedo! It was the tinniest, tightest Speedo she had ever seen. At first she thought that perhaps this was some sick joke and that any moment he would laugh and go change. Not such luck. He was serious. This was what she had to go to the dance with. She thought for sure maybe his mom would protest but all his mom did was smile and tell him how nice and grown up he looked.