For whatever reason, the “contenders” that are “fightin’” for the final playoff spots in the Eastern Conference’s pathetic playoff bracket want us to notice them. Be it by trade discussions, terribly unfortunate injuries, or coaching intrigue, the below-.500 Brooklyn Nets, Charlotte Hornets and Detroit Pistons have wormed their way into our browser windows.

Those jerks. Why can’t they just go away so that we can go back to swooning over the Hawks and Warriors?

The Hornets currently own the prize of the eighth and final playoff spot out in the Conference, a game and a half in back of a Miami Heat team that figures to improve as health (hopefully) settles in. The team earned its position by winning eight of nine in impressive fashion earlier in January, but the last two contests included a 39-point defeat to the Cleveland Cavaliers that somehow felt worse than the score would indicate, and a close 76-71 win over the New York Knicks that I hoped none of you stayed home to watch on Saturday night.

As you likely know, star guard and fringe All-Star candidate Kemba Walker is out for an as-yet-undetermined amount of time as he undergoes surgery to repair a meniscus tear. Walker’s play was the only thing keeping Charlotte out of the bottom ranking in offensive efficiency this season, and though replacement Brian Roberts is an adequate enough player to sop up minutes, as we learned last season (when Roberts replaced the injured Jrue Holiday in New Orleans) he’s just not the sort of guy you circle the wagons with.

Worse, Al Jefferson’s groin injury has made him an inconsistent player of late, nobody knows when Marvin Williams will return from a recent concussion, and even the much-improved Bismack Biyombo is out for an undisclosed amount of time with a bum knee. Lance Stephenson is finally healthy, but he’s still working with a Player Efficiency Rating that is just under 10 (that is to say, “not good.”). That’s incredibly hard to do for a guard with a high usage rate that likes to rebound.

The trade options at reserve point guard are underwhelming, if capable, which leaves the Hornets in a rather perilous position. This capped-out team was created to make the playoffs, and by and large every significant player on this team has either underperformed, been injured, or combined some unholy mixture of the two.

This is probably why team owner Michael Jordan might be trying to trade for both of those elements, in the form of Brooklyn’s Joe Johnson.

A deal involving Stephenson, Williams and Gerald Henderson would work, cap wise, and the ridiculous amount of money the Nets are slated to pay Johnson next year ($24.9 million in the final year of his deal) is just about what the Hornets would be just a bit more than the $22 million the Hornets are already slated to pay the triptych they’d trade away (assuming Henderson picks up his player option at $6 million).

Still, Joe Johnson at age 33 with over 40,000 career regular season and postseason minutes under his belt? Seems like a Michael Jordan-type move, and those are rarely good.

The voice on the other end of that particular transaction line would be that of Brooklyn general manager Billy King, who has made a career out of a series of Michael Jordan-type moves (usually worse) and yet still somehow manages to have a career.

King’s Nets are a half-game out of the Eastern bracket, looking dispirited and sluggish along the way, with everyone in the arena sated with the knowledge that King is attempting to deal any number of his highly-paid players in an attempt to save face.

King’s tenure is legendarily-bad at this point. He dealt for Deron Williams just in time to watch Williams’ career decline, giving up two lottery picks and a damn good big man in Derrick Favors away in return. He used another pick, which turned into Damian Lillard, for the right to overpay Gerald Wallace. Because Wallace made so much damn money, he was able to be parlayed into a deal for a pair of future Basketball Hall of Famers in Kevin Garnet (whose career has fallen off a cliff, due to his age) and Paul Pierce (who played well for half a season before leaving as a free agent). In that move, the Nets gave up several first-round draft picks (in 2014, 2016, 2018) along with handing Boston the right to swap picks with Brooklyn in 2017.

Story continues