False humility is, well, false, although I suppose it has its place in polite company.

If it’s real humility you’re looking for, you wouldn’t expect to have much luck among the ranks of those who have a high enough opinion of themselves to seek the presidency. So we’re used to settling for a bit of humblebragging from that crowd.

Then there’s Mr. Trump.

If it’s straightforward bragging by someone with a breathtaking dose of self-admiration, he has written the book (several, in fact) and continues to add chapters to it, even when it involves claiming to be the greatest on the planet in a great many qualities for which one suspects he might be at the opposite end of the spectrum.

The great Garry Trudeau of Doonesbury fame put together a collection of things that Mr. T has said about himself for Sunday’s comic section. They are all real quotes, except the last one. In case you don’t read the Sunday funnies (I confess, I always do), here they come.

Trump said:

“No one is more conservative than me.”

“No one is stronger on the Second Amendment than me.”

“No one respects women more than me. No one reads the Bible more than me.”

“There’s nobody more pro-Israel than I am.”

“There’s nobody that’s done so much for equality as I have.”

“There’s nobody who feels more strongly about women’s health issues.”

“Nobody knows more about taxes than me, maybe in the history of the world.”

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“I have studied the Iran deal in great detail, greater by far than anyone else.”

“Nobody’s ever been more successful than me.”

“Nobody knows banking better than I do.”

“Nobody knows more about debt than I do.”

“Nobody’s bigger or better at the military I am.”

“I am the least racist person you’ll ever meet.”

“Nobody knows the system better than me.”

“Nobody knows politicians better than me.”

“Nobody builds better walls than me.”

“Nobody knows more about trade than me.”

“There is nobody more against Obamacare than me.”

And then, just to let Mr. Trudeau deliver his punchline, the one he made up, that Trump hasn’t said, but don’t be too surprised if he does:

“Nobody is better on humility than me.”

By the way, my copy of the Strib comics actually left out a couple more that showed up on the Doonesbury website, including one where Trump claimed to be the all-time greatest and then modestly moved himself into all-time second greatest. Here are those two:

“Nobody has better toys than me.” And:

“I can be more presidential than anybody. I would say more presidential, and I’ve said this a couple of times, more presidential other than the great Abe Lincoln.”