So Barack Obama is facing the fight of his life (another one) as he attempts to reform the US healthcare system. The "special interests" – doctors, healthcare companies – don't like it. The "birthers" – crazy types who hope to prove he is not American – smell blood. The danger, says the Investor's Business Daily, is that he borrows too much from the UK. "The controlling of medical costs in countries such as Britain through rationing, and the health consequences thereof, are legendary. The stories of people dying on a waiting list or being denied altogether read like a horror script … People such as scientist Stephen Hawking wouldn't have a chance in the UK, where the National Health Service would say the life of this brilliant man, because of his physical handicaps, is essentially worthless." We say his life is far from worthless, as they do at Addenbrooke's hospital, Cambridge, where Professor Hawking, who has motor neurone disease, was treated for chest problems in April. As indeed does he. "I wouldn't be here today if it were not for the NHS," he told us. "I have received a large amount of high-quality treatment without which I would not have survived." Something here is worthless. And it's not him.

Paul Rowen

It's a rough and tumble game, is politics. If you are Mandy, the snappers follow you on holiday. If you are Hazel, evildoers set about your car. And if you are Liberal Democrat frontbencher Paul Rowen (pictured), they say myriad nasty things about you. On the strength of a published expenses claim, detailing fruit bought for an intern, they may even call you "bananas". But they do so at their peril. We learn that unless he receives a retraction, Rowen is to sue the Labour candidate in Rochdale, Simon Danczuk. Labour produced two aggressive campaigning leaflets, one of which made much of the fruity, if entirely legal, expenses claim for a 40p banana. Rowen did not like the leaflets. He may not like bananas. At this stage we just can't say. There are many accusations that might irk him. The banana thing is merely the most eye-catching. "The ordinary and natural meaning of the above statement is that our client is 'insane', 'unbelievable' or 'ridiculous'," says the legal letter, extracted in a Labour press release. "This allegation is untrue. Our client is not 'insane', 'unbelievable', or 'ridiculous'. It is accordingly incorrect to state that our client is 'bananas' and you have no evidence whatsoever of our client being 'bananas' (ie being 'insane', 'unbelievable' or 'ridiculous')." We have no such evidence and make no such claim, but it seems clear that things have got pretty rumbustious in Rochdale. A wafer-thin majority – 1.1% last time – will do that. A time for cool heads and, perhaps, thick skins.

With the Commons all rattled we look to the upper house for sense and stability. This from the Ukip peer Lord Pearson of Rannoch. "To ask Her Majesty's Government how much is paid annually to members of bigamous Islamic families in housing benefit and other social security payments." The answer: "The social security system only recognises relationships that have been lawfully contracted in the UK or in other jurisdictions." Civilisation survives to fight another day.

Lord Berkeley, meanwhile, teases out of government the fact that a bridge for bats over the Dobwalls bypass in Cornwall cost £300,000. "The bridges provide a linear feature over the bypass that is used by the bats to guide them along their flight lines," explains Lord Adonis. A toll was not practical. Pity.

And finally, we do not doubt that Julian Leppart, the BNP councillor for Redbridge, east London got rid of his car on discovering that the licence plate appeared to say Nazi (NA5IZCY). Anyone would. And a mistake is a mistake. But if he sold it, who bought it? Does it veer to the right.