After the Red Hen Restaurant in Lexington, Virginia turned away Sarah Huckabee Sanders last week because of Sanders's role in propagating the Trump administration's anti-gay agenda, it set off a nationwide debate about civility. Should restaurant workers push their ethics aside to serve people who support agendas that endanger their lives? Does the comfort of some diners outweigh other diners' ability to feel safe? When is it appropriate—when is it necessary—for people to speak up in the face of intolerance and ignorance?

Jennifer Pozner faced these questions last night in Manhattan when she was witness to a man loudly making comments in which he "jokingly" threatened to have a waitress deported.

1. Welp, so much for #civility: LET'S MAKE THIS GUY FAMOUS. Last night, at a French bistro in NYC, I got into it with this old white man in an American flag t-shirt who loudly "joked" to the waitress, "I'm going to tell Trump to deport you, hahaha, I'll tell Trump to deport you!" pic.twitter.com/Rh8SjMHCt7 — Jennifer L. Pozner (@jennpozner) June 29, 2018

Pozner, a published media critic and media literacy educator, and her boyfriend had sat down for a meal Thursday evening at La Bonne Soupe on West 55th Street before heading to a comedy show, one that was meant to take Pozner's mind off the massive anxiety she's been having "over our country's gradual slide to fascism." While eating, she heard the man in the photo above, who was wearing an American flag t-shirt, saying to his waitress, "I'm going to tell Trump to deport you, I'll tell Trump to deport you!"

"He said it in this tone which was no joking tone, but in the way that a bully thinks that saying something hostile and loud is funny," she said. "He said it two or three times, and he looked really proud of himself." The waitress, who is from Bulgaria and has an accent, tried to ignore the comments; Pozner credited this to the fact most waitstaff have to "suck it up" because they need their tips and their paycheck, even in the face of rude customers. The fact the waitress wasn't in a position to respond only made her angrier.

Pozner said she addressed the man in a calm tone, saying, "Sir, that isn't funny and it's not okay. Don't joke about deporting people." She said his reaction was explosive.

"If this were a screenplay, I couldn't write this dude, it would be too on the nose," she said. "People would think I was making up how hysterical and hostile he became immediately, or the fact he he was wearing an American flag T-shirt. I couldn't write that in a screenplay, because it would be too much of a self-parody. He just started screaming that I had no right to talk to him, it was a joke. He just kept saying those things over and over again, screaming."

Others in the restaurant noticed what was happening. "He did say something to the waiter about calling Trump to have her removed from the country," said Alex Travieso, who has worked at the restaurant as a bartender for 14 years. Travieso was on duty Thursday night; though he didn't witness the incident first hand, he spoke to both the waitress and manager about it afterwards. "It's crazy. I asked the waitress if he was just kidding, but he seemed pretty serious."

While the unidentified man's female dining companion tried to calm him down, Pozner said the man started repeatedly yelling at her, calling her a "piece of shit" over and over again. She said other people in the restaurant started paying attention at this point, with someone at another table telling the man to stop cursing at her. "I did appreciate that he intervened, but I'm a native New Yorker, I grew up in Brooklyn, and I don't give a shit if you curse at me," Pozner said. "That doesn't matter to me at all. What matters is, are you being a racist asshole, are you treating people with immense disrespect that can affect their lives. The fact the [onlooker] only decided to intervene over the 'piece of shit' comment but not over the deportation comment...we need to do better as New Yorkers. This is a city of immigrants, and this is a city where we need to defend each other and stand up for what's right."

The manager, who asked that we not use her name, told us that she intervened at that point: "I asked him to leave," she told Gothamist. "He had just paid his check, he asked if he could finish his glass of wine. I said he could if he was quiet, I didn't want to hear another word from him." Pozner noted that the man started to "mumble-rant" complaints about her ("people like her," "idiots," "too sensitive") for the rest of his time there before finally leaving.

This was a completely unusual incident for the restaurant, according to Travieso. "For the most part, we're anti-Trump supporters at this restaurant, so anything like that is immediately approached," he said. "We're not gonna let people get away with anything like that. We quickly intervened and asked the gentleman to refrain from such comments, because then he started badgering tables next to him that said to him, 'that's inappropriate.'"

The manager agreed with Pozner's assessment of the initial comments. "I don't think it was a joke," she said. "Even his wife was telling him to stop. We were pretty shocked."

Pozner added of the experience: