10 Important Throwback Tweets From Philadelphia’s New Mayor

Jim Kenney is officially Philadelphia's next mayor. He's also a pretty good Twitter user. Here are 10 of his most important tweets.

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Jim Kenney is not just Philadelphia’s next mayor. He is also a prolific Twitter user. Kenney has tweeted 7,562 times, which isn’t all that much — except that he tweets himself, often using Twitter as if he’s talking to the guy next to him at a diner counter.

We here at Philadelphia magazine chronicled his tweets in January, but now that he’s actually going to be mayor, let’s winnow the field down to his top-10 tweets.

(A few of these were retweeted last night by Twitter user @treblaw; to him, I give my utmost thanks.)

I shopped at Ross for the first time. OMG! Designer names at ridiculously low prices! — Jim Kenney (@JimFKenney) November 17, 2012

This is my favorite Jim Kenney tweet. He’s actually right, too: Kenney probably went to the Ross at 8th and Market, in the old Lit Brothers building. That Ross is awesome! It’s relatively organized and spaced out, unlike most discounters. It has a huge men’s section. And you can get Nike soccer cleats there for $8.

But, as my girlfriend points out, how bougie is Kenney? He first went to a Ross in 2012?!

I swear that east Market in Philly from 7th to 13th is worthy of a reality tv show. They're loads of trippin people! — Jim Kenney (@JimFKenney) March 15, 2014

This is another likable Kenney tweet: Many Philadelphians who don’t step foot in a Ross Dress for Less for the first 50 years of their life would look down upon the zany hustle and bustle of Market East (especially in early 2014, before the area was essentially shut down for a few years to construct new buildings). But Kenney actually thinks Market East is a place we need to showcase to the world on reality TV. This is great. May Market East forever remain delightfully weird.

Let me get this right, Leslie Stahl of 60 mins is 72? GTFOOH! Great journalist and sorry, smokin. — Jim Kenney (@JimFKenney) March 23, 2014

Sometimes, our new mayor hits on Leslie Stahl.

Someone put LSD in my turkey burger. — Jim Kenney (@JimFKenney) November 18, 2012

Other times, he accidentally takes a dosage of LSD when eating a turkey burger at a restaurant. Let’s hope he installs a strong health inspector who can clean up the restaurants in this town!

@loudobbsnews You are a large asshole! Crawl back under your rock. You are a hater and a creep hiding behind your microphone. You cancelled? — Jim Kenney (@JimFKenney) December 17, 2012

This is a pretty great tweet. Other Philadelphia mayors might shy away from calling Lou Dobbs an asshole over Twitter. Not our new one! And good for him. If he thinks Lou Dobbs is an asshole, then by god he ought to call him one.

It's time for the Haters and Bigots and Creeps to STFU! — Jim Kenney (@JimFKenney) November 7, 2012

I guess this was after Obama’s successful re-election. I like his reasoning here: Much like you and me, he gets tired of all the haters and creeps and bigots in the run-up to an election. Now that the election is over, he’s hoping they shut the fuck up. Again, I think this is something we can get behind.

Doc, Bird, Magic, Michael, Wilt, et al, never threw powder in the air like Toro Tanaka before every game. Miami acts the WWE. Embarrassing. — Jim Kenney (@JimFKenney) June 22, 2012

There’s a lot to unpack here. But let’s ignore the “The players of the past behaved in a way I liked more” part of the tweet. That’s a common oldhead sports fan complaint; we forget Michael Jordan was legitimately the best trash talker and taunter of all time because he played so long ago.

But how about that professional wrestling reference? Professor Toru Tanaka was one of the World-Wide Wrestling Federation’s biggest heels in the late ’60s and early ’70s. A Hawaiian who was billed as coming from Japan, one of his trademark moves was to throw salt in the eyes of an unsuspecting opponent.

Younger fans may know his tag team partner, Mr. Fuji, who kept this gimmick well into the 1990s as a manager of bad guys. And, wouldn’t know you, Tanaka and Mr. Fuji won the tag team titles at the Spectrum on June 27th, 1972. The pair lost the belts, but regained them at another live card in Philadelphia on September 11th, 1973 — that time because Tanaka threw salt into the eyes of Haystacks Calhoun. I’m not saying Jim Kenney was at one or both of those particular pro wrestling cards but … well, maybe I am saying that.

So sad sometimes. — Jim Kenney (@JimFKenney) February 26, 2014

This is probably how Jim Kenney felt when Tanaka and Fuji cheated to win the tag-team titles!

Cindy Crosby is just a talented little puke face! You just want to backhand him all the time. — Jim Kenney (@JimFKenney) May 12, 2014

This is how all Flyers fans feel about Penguins star Sidney Crosby, but can the now-mayor cool it with the “Cindy Crosby” joke? It’s lame, it makes many female fans feel uncomfortable and, frankly, you can do better.

“Talented little puke face,” however, is completely acceptable.

Channel 6, a large water main break in SPhila. "We don't know the cause of the water main break." Well, its probably bc the water main broke — Jim Kenney (@JimFKenney) July 23, 2012

Yes, Jim Kenney makes fun of the local news just like you do.

So good luck, Mr. Mayor. I think Kenney’s free-form Twitter account does make him more likable — and different. Our outgoing mayor would primarily lecture awful criminals and dumb drunk Philly sports fans. But Kenney is freewheeling! You never know who he’s going to mock.

Here’s what I’m most excited for: Kenney promises to ride SEPTA as mayor (he is a regular rider; I once I saw him waiting in a Broad Street Subway car solo seat after a Phillies game). Perhaps Kenney’s daily rides will lead to tweets about all the annoying people on the subway. Hey, he’s just like us!

Follow @dhm on Twitter.