Oh boy, last Monday something CRAZY WEIRD happened in Beach City. The sky turned blood red! Winds kicked up so high that my dad’s car flipped over! And a GIANT EYEBALL THINGY was in the sky! My little brother blamed global warming for the storm, but I know the TRUTH. It all goes back to the year 1969 - when man first walked on the moon.

You see, some people think that the moon landing was FAKED. But that’s ridiculous. Get it through your head, conspiracy wackos! WE WENT TO THE MOON and we did it TO GET RID OF VAMPIRES.

And I’m not talking dumb Twilight vampires.

I’m talking REAL vampires!

The wild 1960’s had left America with an overabundance of vampires. So on July 20th, 1969, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin dumped a bunch of Dracula’s in the Sea of Tranquility, and high tailed it back to the pale blue dot . But the vampires were smart. And they repurposed the Apollo 11 landing module into a vampire spaceship and were coming back to Earth.

But why did the Vampire Spacehip come to Beach City? Well, yours truly has been working on a garlic french fry recipe to ward off said Draculas. I bet that vampire spaceship caught wind of my plan and tried to sabotage me! Nice try, space vampires!

Until next time - Keep Beach City Weird!