Feces Flavored Cigarettes Will Help Smokers Quit

MEXICO CITY –

A Mexican company has formulated a hand rolled cigarette that smells and tastes like human feces to help smokers quit. Deja de cigarettes partnered with Criterion Chemicals based in New Jersey to develop the natural scent.

Above: Feces flavored cigarettes

“Smoking continues to be a super bad problem for millions of humans and our business is to help those humans quit that super bad problem,” CEO Juan Hernandez said. “Once you inhale feces flavored tobacco you will never want to touch another cigarette. That’s our guarantee. And if it doesn’t work, we will refund your money plus give you a free Deja de cigarettes tote bag.”

Hernandez says for the smoking cessation program to be effective the user must smoke one cigarette or, for best results, the entire pack of four.

“Clients are going to become violently ill,” Hernandez said. “You are inhaling something that tastes like human feces after all. But believe you me, you will never ever want to touch another cigarette once you’ve smoked Deja de cigarettes. You will never get the flavor out of your mouth.”

A pack of four Deja de cigarettes will retail for $179 and while the price is steep the company says you will save thousands over the long haul by quitting now.