Second-grade teacher, Carie Charlesworth, is by all accounts a fine teacher. You don’t accrue a 14-year tenure at a private school without having the trust and good will of your employers and she not only worked those years at Holy Trinity School in El Cajon, CA, but had her four children enrolled there as students. A nice situation all around. Charlesworth’s one big problem? An ex-husband with a violent streak, who, on an ill-advised compulsion one Monday last January, showed up at the Holy Trinity parking lot to create a scene. As expected, this sent the school into lockdown and the police to the location, and it’s likely Charlesworth and her children were both terrified and embarrassed. But given her long-time position of trust as a Holy Trinity teacher, one assumes she was wrapped in a show of solidarity and support. But what did Francie White, the principal, do for Carie Charleswsorth? She fired her.

In a stunning case of punishing the victim, Principal White decided the best example to set, the most beneficial action to take, the most loving, Christian, Catholic response to the misfortunes of one of her long-time teachers was to immediately give her –and her children – “an indefinite leave of absence,” despite the expressed lack of any real threat from Mr. Charlesworth. From Principal Wright’s letter to the parents of Holy Trinity students:

“I’d like to make it perfectly clear that at no time were the students or staff threatened or did Mr. Charlesworth gain access to our school grounds. When the police arrived, Mr. Charlesworth had already left the premise.”

And yet…

“At this time, Mrs. Charlesworth and her children are on an indefinite leave of absence. We request you keep them in your prayers.”

Well, that’s loving… the prayer request. Keeping her job, keeping her kids in their school, and being surrounded by support and assistance might have been more appreciated, but, then again, Charlesworth is used to abuse.

One certainly understands the concerns of the school for the safety of their young charges. One can also understand the protective impulse of parents who don’t want their children potentially caught in the middle of a teacher’s domestic struggle, one that could lead to violence. But this action by the school left out any option for policies to keep the school and the teacher safe, nor did it support the message to domestic violence victims to “speak up” for their safety and that of their children. In fact, it shows the exact reason why so few victims do.

In this case, after a tough weekend with her abusive ex, one that came with 3 different calls to the sheriff, with a history of 911 calls and a restraining order in place, Charlesworth had the wherewithal to go to her principal the following Monday to explain what had been happening, and to alert her to the possibility that her errant ex-husband might show up. A stand-up thing to do, one that took into consideration others at the location and left the school prepared for the unpredictable. And as we know, Mr. Charlesworth did show up.

Though her ex was arrested and ultimately incarcerated for two felony charges, Carie Charlesworth was left dangling, not sure where her children would go to school or how she would continue to support them. Certainly, with her rather unceremonious ‘leave of absence,’ she felt like she was being treated as the criminal.

“And that’s what it felt like, the kids and I were being punished for something we didn’t even do,” she told NBC 7 San Diego. […] “They’ve taken away my ability to care for my kids,” said Charlesworth. “It’s not like I can go out and find a teaching job anywhere.”

But, unfortunately, it was only going to get worse: three months after the initial letter from Principal Wright, another letter arrived: she was not only officially fired, but the school directors making that decision asserted that she would not be allowed to teach at any other school in the diocese. More than fired, she was shunned.

“We know from the most recent incident involving you and Mrs. Wright (the principal) while you were still physically at Holy Trinity School, that the temporary restraining order in effect were not a deterrent to him. Although we understand he is current incarcerated, we have no way of knowing how long or short a time he will actually serve and we understand from court files that he may be released as early as next fall. In the interest of the safety of the students, faculty and parents at Holy Trinity School, we simply cannot allow you to return to work there, or, unfortunately, at any other school in the Diocese.” [Source]



The letter from Tom Beecher, Director, Office for Schools and Bobbie Espinosa, Director for Human Resources, went on to express how “we feel deeply for you and about the situation in which you find you and your children,” but apparently those deep feelings did not extend to showing Charlesworth enough compassion to keep her in her job, even if that meant working together with her (and any necessary authorities) to protect her and the school’s population from further disruption from a disturbed man. No, those deep feelings only extended to their admission that “this was a very difficult decision to make and we are deeply, deeply sorry about this situation.” More than one deeply. That’s very deep.

Also feeling “deeply” for the Charlesworth family? The school’s parents. All who spoke up refused to disclose their names, but some felt firing Charlesworth was “the right thing in a no-win situation,” citing safety concerns for their children. Others made clear they were part of a movement “to pull kids out of the school” had Charlesworth been allowed to stay.

My, my. A true show of Catholic charity and love; circle those wagons, people, and get out the pitchforks.

Charlesworth is understandably devastated; traumatized by actions of an abusive ex-husband that have so egregiously impacted the lives of her and her children; actions compounded by the abandonment and callousness of her work and church community.

“I have not been back to a Catholic church since this happened” said Charlesworth, who admits her life has been turned upside down because “everything I thought I had, I don’t.”

As for speaking up about her ex-husband’s potential violence to the school principal, the ramifications of her choice seem clear at this point:

“I mean, that’s why women of domestic violence don’t come forward, because they’re afraid of the way people are going to see them, view them, perceive them, treat them,” said Charlesworth. A 2011 study by Legal Aid Society-Employment Law Center shows Charlesworth isn’t alone: Nearly 40 percent of survivors in California reported being fired or feared termination because of domestic violence. [Source; emphasis added]

For now, the only recourse she’s able to put into motion is a lawsuit against the school, though, as her attorney advises, the odds there aren’t good. The private Catholic school has a “ministerial exception” in place; a fine-print point that says if she taught religion in her curriculum (she did), even if it was a minor part of her lesson plan (it was), there’s a legal precedent that allows the school to fire her without cause, just as they could a priest or pastor (though, apparently there was little “ministerial exception” implemented throughout the church as the child molestation stories were coming out… but that’s another article).

All of which leaves Carie Charlesworth alone, unemployed, a single parent with an abusive ex-husband (who’s set to be released at the end of June); shunned by fellow parents, her school, and her church. One can only hope the publicity being raised by the media will spark a show of support, a little positive action from those in the domestic violence community, maybe even a job from some less terrified, less helpless, less judgmental school and/or parental community. Good teachers are gold and after 14 years of experience, Carie Charlesworth would be a boon for any school that has the wisdom to reach out to her.

Here’s the video: