It's finals week and I've got a cold. Not just any cold, mind you, but pry open the gates of Mordor and toss me in the volcano, because that's the only thing that I think will actually warm me up, type cold. I've been through 3 bags of Halls in the last 2 days, and I've lost all sense of smell and taste. My will to live has diminished and I'm hoping death will come swiftly. I am all snuggled up in bed, surrounded by tissues and cough drop wrappers when my boyfriend comes in with a package in hand.

My will to live increases; it's from my Secret Santa! I key the hell out of the devil tape that separates me from whatever mystery lies beneath the plain white box. Finally, with a pop, the box opens and light shines down from the heavens as if an angel had landed in my bedroom. (Really, my boyfriend had just flipped on the light, but I like my version better.)

Then, I nerdgasm. I nerdgasm hard. At the behest of my Secret Santa, I have received my very first collectible action figure. CAPTAIN PLANET. Captain-Fucking-Planet is sitting on my lap, in mint condition, lovingly transported to me from the golden age of 1991. I had a party right there, wrapped in a motherfucking bathrobe and snot rags festively bouncing around me. It was really something out of a movie; I was Ralphie Parker, and I just received my Red Ryder BB Gun.

I did what any logical person would do next. I put on a cape and thrust my fist into the air, and began singing the Captain Planet and the Planeteers theme song in an effort to reassemble the team. It didn't work, but I was still really damn happy.

TL;DR: Thank you. Like, seriously, thank you. This is really freaking awesome, beyond awesome actually. I absolutely adore my Captain Planet (and his amazing POWER COMMANDS) action figure! You did some serious digging to figure out that I was this big of a nerd. Makin' me cry, man. Amazeballs.

xoxoxo ♥ MissJacki