Today, the world’s foremost grouch published a review of Kanye West’s new album, Yeezus, on The Talkhouse.



He began by complimenting Kanye as an artist…

“But the guy really, really, really is talented. He’s really trying to raise the bar. No one’s near doing what he’s doing, it’s not even on the same planet.”

In paragraph two, he complimented him again…

“But Kanye stays unmoved while this mountain of sound grows around him. Such an enormous amount of work went into making this album. Each track is like making a movie.”

And again in paragraph four…

“That’s architecture, that’s structure  this guy is seriously smart. He keeps unbalancing you. He’ll pile on all this sound and then suddenly pull it away, all the way to complete silence, and then there’s a scream or a beautiful melody, right there in your face. That’s what I call a sucker punch.”

In paragraph five, he compared Kanye to Axl Rose…

“And now, with this album, it’s ‘Now that you like me, I’m going to make you unlike me.’ It’s a dare. It’s braggadoccio. Axl Rose has done that too, lots of people have. ‘I Am a God’  I mean, with a song title like that, he’s just begging people to attack him.”

In paragraph six, Lou used “farting” as a positive descriptor…

“But why he starts the album off with that typical synth buzzsaw sound is beyond me, but what a sound it is, all gussied up and processed. I can’t figure out why he would do that. It’s like farting. It’s another dare  I dare you to like this. Very perverse.”

If you haven’t realized it by now, Lou loves the album…

“That melody the strings play at the end of ‘Guilt Trip,’ it’s so beautiful, it makes me so emotional, it brings tears to my eyes.) But it’s real fast cutting  boom, you’re in it. Like at the end of ‘I Am a God,’ anybody else would have been out, but then pow, there’s that coda with Justin Vernon, ‘Ain’t no way I’m giving up.’ Un-fucking-believable. It’s fantastic.”

He loves the same lyrics you do…

“But it’s just ridiculous that people are getting upset about ‘Put my fist in her like a civil rights sign’? C’mon, he’s just having fun. That’s no more serious than if he said he’s going to drop a bomb on the Vatican. How can you take that seriously?”

Lou Reed knows who Chief Keef is…

“‘Hold My Liquor’ is just heartbreaking, and particularly coming from where it’s coming from  listen to that incredibly poignant hook from a tough guy like Chief Keef, wow. At first, West says ‘I can hold my liquor’ and then he says ‘I can’t hold my liquor.’ This is classic  classic manic-depressive, going back and forth.”

Think Kanye is being hypocritical on “New Slaves”? Lou Reed thinks you’re a fucking idiot…

“Some people might say that makes him complicated, but it’s not really that complicated. He kind of wants to retain his street cred even though he got so popular. And I think he thinks people are going to think he’s become one of them  so he’s going to very great lengths to claim that he’s not. On ‘New Slaves’, he’s accusing everyone of being materialistic but you know, when guys do something like that, it’s always like, ‘But we’re the exception. It’s all those other people, but we know better.'”

Lou Reed got goosebumps listening to Yeezus…

“But musically, he nails it beyond belief on ‘New Slaves.’ It’s mainly just voice and one or two synths, very sparse, and then it suddenly breaks out into this incredible melodic God knows what. Frank Ocean sings this soaring part, then it segues into a moody sample of some Hungarian rock band from the ’70s. It literally gives me goosebumps. It’s like the visuals at the end of the new Superman movie  just overwhelmingly incredible. I played it over and over.”

Final verdict, Lou?

“It’s all the same shit, it’s all music  that’s what makes him great. If you like sound, listen to what he’s giving you. Majestic and inspiring.”