I went to a Catholic school as a child. It was ugly. The rules of the game at St. Joan of Arc's would make The Hunger Games look mild. But those who survived, well, for the rest of their lives they knew a bluff when they saw it. I am one.

NBC just posted the headline, "Two Russian Warplanes Edge Close to U.S. Aircraft Carrier."

Two Russian bombers, creaking artifacts in fact, flew near one of our carriers.

Ohhhh, Halloween Scary! Yeah. No.

So let us be clear: This aircraft, not stealthy, not even really modern (it's a 1968 design, which makes it a year younger than my old ass), is worthy of news? No. Here is why.

For nearly 140 years, naval forces have been trying to figure out how to hit each other from farther and farther away. Initially it was guns, big, big, and bigger guns. Like Toyota-sized. Yeah, gotcha, but by WWII we learned that planes could rain scunnion from even farther. Noted. Midway, etc.

Then we had long range missiles, and airplanes that could launch them, and folks, now I'm talking about the '70s. That was a little while ago. The technology only improved. Missiles, launched by air or ship, could reach hundreds of miles by the time Reagan held office. So, what is the big deal? Well, like some of the drama queens I've dated, it is all about appearance.

Look at that story. The drama reported by NBC is all about Russian bombers flying "one mile" from a U.S. aircraft carrier. Ummm, so what?

Like the bullies I knew at St. Joan of Arc's, these muldoons were all about making a show. The "danger distance" is actually about 123 nautical miles out, not one mile. Flying one mile away from a U.S. Aircraft Carrier is, in short, a joke. Hell, I don't doubt that the crew was out filming on their iPhones. "Bombers" today launch from a long distance. Prop-driven 1960s designs are not serious. They are, to be redundant, "props."

But here is an interesting question I will leave to you: Knowing this, why was this story publicized by the U.S. Government? I mean, it was a non-story about a non-threat. So why mention it? And even more interestingly, what sort of Russian moron thought this was a good idea?

After 25 years as an Infantryman, I just sort of wonder.

You can argue with me at R_Bateman_LTC@hotmail.com. Or in the comments section.

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