When I came home tonight, I was greeted with the biggest box I've ever received in the mail. My gifter and I had been chatting through the last month and he told me that his gift had been back ordered. He said he was sorry, but the gift would be worth the wait. He mentioned that he too was a 90's kid. Understandably, I was pretty anxious to see what it was.

When I opened up this huge box, the first thing I saw was this huge green object. What would be a big green thing that is ridged and cut like a mountain? Just from the bird's eye view... it came to me. No. NO WAY! NO FUCKING WAY I HAVE A PIECE OF THE AGGRO CRAG MOTHA FUCKA!!! AHHHH!!!!!!

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, this object is a replica of an award one would win on the 90's Nickelodeon game show called "Guts".

Mind you, I opened my gift in front of my girlfriend who did not have cable when she was a child (bless her soul), so she did not see why me behavior was warranted by this abstract object. I pulled the Aggro Crag out of the box and held it above my head, just as if I had climbed up the crag and won it myself. Then my girlfriend looked in the box... to discover there were also two T-Shirts included. HOLY SHIT BALLS COULD THIS NIGHT GET ANY BETTER? Included was a red shirt that contestants would wear on the show from Guts. Along with that was a shirt from another 90's Nick show called 'Legends of the Hidden Temple'. ORANGE IGUANAS? FUCK YES. They were my favorite team! BEST GIFT EVER.

Thank you BIG DAWG (Sean) for being the best gifter ever man. I will be forever in your debt now that I am the coolest kid on the block, once again.