America circa 2013 in a nutshell: The ‘Wal-Mart Cheer’ is the most depressing thing you’ll ever see





Did you know that many Wal-Mart locations begin shifts with “the Wal-Mart cheer”? Oh yes, and there are several dozens of renditions of this soul-destroying ditty on YouTube, each one sadder than the last. The one below is actually the “best” one due to the exuberance the chant leader displays for being exploited by the billionheir Walton family, like a slave they don’t even have to house or feed. A part of me recoiled in horror when I watched this guy who probably makes $7.50 an hour get worked up into a frenzy over the demeaning day of labor in store for him.

Or else maybe he just took a hit off a meth pipe?

Give me a W!

Give me an A!

Give me an L!

Give me a squiggly!

Give me an M!

Give me an A!

Give me an R!

Give me a T! What’s that spell?

Wal-Mart! Whose Wal-Mart is it?

It’s my Wal-Mart!

Your Wal-Mart is it? Yours?

Wal-Mart isn’t satisfied with your dignity, the Walton family and their shareholders apparently want to vampire your soul, too.

Here’s how one former employee described the Wal-Mart cheer ritual to Gawker’s Life at Wal-Mart: Welcome to Hell series on the retail behemoth:

“But the absolute worst thing about working there had to be the Walmart cheer. In case you’ve never been fortunate enough to witness the daily Walmart pep rally, it basically consists of all the available “Associates” gathering in a big circle to hear about how much money “our” store had brought in the previous day and how we all needed to work even harder so “our” store would bring in more money than all the other Walmarts nearby tomorrow. And to seal the deal we would all take part in the Walmart cheer, a ritual that simultaneously drains you of all hope for the future while at the same time somehow numbing you to the point of lethargic resignation to your lot in life.”

This video needs to be put into a time capsule to be opened up in 100 years…





Bonus clip: John Fugelsang rants about ‘What to say to people who still defend Walmart’ on CurrentTV

