This is just pathetic. You may have seen the story about a former TV chef who pleaded no contest to trying to have his wife killed, and was sentenced to nine years in prison.

Thankfully his wife wasn’t harmed, but here’s the disgusting thing. Did this guy try to find an experienced, professional hitman like a decent husband would do?

No, he did not. Instead, he offered some homeless men $1,000 to kill her.

Let’s all think about that. I can’t decide whether this guy is cheap, or just plain stupid.

I mean, if these poor guys were good at performing complicated tasks and following directions and so on, chances are they might not be homeless in the first place.

If my wife ever decides to get rid of me, and who would blame her, I hope she would care enough to spend a few bucks and have it done right.

I don’t want folks saying, “There’s the Blog Guy’s wife, that one who paid an old three-legged schnauzer $4 to bite her husband on the ankle until he bled to death.”

When my time comes, I want to see nice cufflinks, a well-maintained handgun, a manicured trigger finger and the confident face of a guy who takes some pride in his work. I hope you’re paying attention, Honey.

Excuse me, Sir, allow me to compliment a real pro when I see one.

That’s a fine silencer you have there. The neighbors will never phhhhhhhhhhhhtttttttt!

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Top right: Book jacket, “The Juan-Carlos Cruz Calorie Countdown Cookbook”

Bottom right: A pistol with a silencer used by gunmen in an attack on goldsmith shops in Baghdad, May 25, 2010. REUTERS/Mohammed Ameen

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