Here’s what you missed on Glee: Saturday Night Glee-ver

Members of The New Directions are performing their favorite Whitney Houston songs.

“Jesus” Joe is starting to develop feelings for Quinn while helping her with physical therapy.

Kurt exchanges in a flirtatious text-lationship with a boy, Chandler, he meets at a music store.

Shuester is trying to rush his wedding to Emma so the kids from the glee club will attend.

I Have the Weirdest Boner Right Now: Well at least that’s what Joe was thinking. Even though Quinn has pretty much…uh… run through(?) every other male member of the glee club I like the relationship she and Joe are headed for. It has come on relatively fast but who knows how much we’ll see of Quinn in the future so now is as good a time as any. Hopefully Quinn isn’t just using Joe to help her feel better about herself.

Kurt’s Dental Record: I’ve been saying it since the first season and I know someone out there has to have noticed it too: Where does Kurt hide his teeth when he sings?! He has a huge mouth and I seldom see his teeth during a performance. It’s just unnatural…

Gotcha, Jesus (Joe)! Sam went all Old Testament on Joe with that sweet Leviticus burn. Let he who is without tats cast the first stone.

When the Cat’s Away… I really didn’t think that much about it beforehand but Blaine really is going to be alone without Kurt next year. I appreciate their relationship but I do want Blaine to get in some trouble when good ol’ “Gums” is gone.

Ummmm…Where the hell are Sugar Motta and Rory?!

Special Treatment: I bet Shuester isn’t going to drastically change any other milestone in his personal life for any other group of glee members. This man was about to get married at a campground while using picnic tables as a stage. Now I’m sure someone out there may find that romantic in some way – because eccentric is the new black these days – but that’s just not gonna fly.

MUSIC

How Will I Know – Mercedes, Santana, Kurt and Rachel (A)

The photo of Whitney Houston was a somber, but perfect opening to this song and episode. I didn’t time it, but I believe I began crying about 15 seconds into this performance. Normally, I’d prefer the original pop version, but somehow as a tribute, the quartet pulled it off.

Dance with Somebody – Brittany and Santana (B)

Perfect pick for Brittany: a song that’s all about dancing and doesn’t require a lot of strong vocals. All the glitter and dancing Cheerios brought a more Glee-ful feel to the evening than the opening number. It was a cute performance, but not at all memorable. One minor gripe: Britana’s outfit, while an adorable homage to Houston, was from her How Will I Know video.

Saving All My Love for You – Joe and Quinn (A)

Joe Hart would be all I need to get excited about Glee’s fourth season. I’m not sure if it’s his doe eyes or that I got over my crush for Puck a little over a season ago, but something about him is just perfect. I’m going to pretend they didn’t completely rush the Joe/Quinn storyline and sexify Quinn’s therapy session for the simple purpose of giving this budding relationship motive and opportunity to flourish in the span of three minutes. Instead, I’ll simply love how good these two sounded and thank all the writers for letting Quinn finish strong, both as a performer and character. Unfortunately, this puts a damper on my theory that they were pushing Artie and Quinn together.

So Emotional – Santana and Rachel (C)

This was easily my least favorite performance of the evening. It may have been the song selection or something unrelated, like the fact that New Directions recently figured out how to record video on their phones (last week it was Sam, now Brittany and Finn have joined in the fun). However, I did like the nod to fashion choices of seasons past, with Rachel in her Mary Janes and tall socks, while Santana spun around in her Cheerio’s uniform.

It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay – Blaine (B)

Unlike the other performances, this was an obvious (and accurate) redo of the video. While Whitney had a group of scorned women singing her back-up, Blaine had the New Directions (et tu Finn?!) supporting his very public lover’s quarrel with Gay Hutch Kurt. As far as breakup anthems go, I’d have preferred Heartbreak Hotel.

I Have Nothing – Kurt (A)

This is easily one of my favorite songs on The Bodyguard soundtrack. It worked perfect as a “rebuttal” to Blaine’s song pick and Kurt had his best performance of the season, in my very humble opinion. Just like Blaine, I teared up a little at the end.

My Love is Your Love – The New Directions (A)

Another (perfectly) cheesy Glee closer, with the big group hurrah. I think this is when it really hit me that this season is the last of the original era of Glee. Some of the main characters are leaving and the dynamic will have to change quite a bit to make room for new faces. In a weird way, it’s picking songs like My Love is Your Love that make people that don’t watch the show feel it’s annoyingly corny, while it’s performances like this that remind Gleeks why they fell in love with the show in the first place. Bonus moment: The picture of the club from season one, complete with the last time we’ll probably ever see Matt Rutherford.

QUOTES

“Excuse me, I’m so sorry to bother you, but that hippopotamus head broach is awesome.” – Chandler

“Obviously I like dancing with Santana best, but you guys are all still cool dancers. And Quinn, you’re still dancing in my dreams and you can fly and breathe fire.” – Brittany

“Mr. Lavender, the wedding planner.” -Schuester

“It’s La-Vender. Richard La-Vander. It’s a family name.” – Don Embry Mr. Lavender (played by Joel McKinnon Miller, Big Love)

“OK, here’s the thing about me, I-I can be super helpful, but when you ask me stuff you have to be real specific.” – Sam

“I have OCD, Will. I throw brooms away after I use them.” -Ema

“Do you know how many times you’ve texted me in the past few days? Four. And three of them were about finding peach colored shoe polishes.” – Blaine

“I know I haven’t always been the perfect friend or teammate, but you stuck by me. Forgiven me, for sleeping with your women. Not everyone in my life has done that. One cougar’s husband even chased me around with a gun.” – Puck

“Champagne on a Tuesday. You’ve gone all Hunter S. Thompson.” – Emmy