As our Visionaries often say, gaming is a dark and scary place. You never know when you’ll accidentally have fun. The other day, I was playing Shadows of Mordor, lured in by sales on the evil distribution platform they call “Steam”; a game which I had totally forgotten was condemned by the visionaries. Upon remembering this, I instantly threw down the controller and clawed at the corruption gnawing on my skin. I had no idea what had come over me, I should never have been playing that game in my right mind. ‘I must have been having fun!’, I thought.

Truly, it was a terrifying experience. For a moment, I was even traumatized; the mere thought of “playing games for fun” and realizing that’s what I had been doing inspired some very disturbing thoughts, such as “I like what I am doing right now and this is a great way to relax and enjoy myself.” UNACCEPTABLE. In thinking about ways to make them disappear, I mulled over the idea of attending another conference so I could see one of the Visionaries break another evil game disc again in person. Now, something like that may look like nothing but a silly gesture, but I assure you, the experience is both empowering and uplifting.

This is how you purge the evil in video games!

Redoubling my efforts, I also thought to myself “I should be playing games that aren’t fun!” I made a promise to myself, to never have fun again, and for the next few hours, gleefully enjoyed(or rather, non-enjoyed) the mundane gameplay of some of the very best games that could ever come out of Twine. The wide availability of text-based simulation, like titles produced 30 years ago, kept my fears at bay, and the safety of knowing I’d never experience the terror of “fun” was most reassuring. Alas, I had myself a wonderfully unfun gaming session, all thanks to the visionaries! I honestly don’t know what I’d do without other people telling me so.