Tevinter: You have two cows. You've enslaved them both and you cast spells on them to duplicate them so you can have more slaves.

Par Vollen: You have two cows. One is assigned the task of milk-making and the other is assigned the task of becoming food. They accept their tasks with honour.

Kirkwall: You have two cows. They want to kill each other. And you. You're fucked.

Antiva: You have two cows. You assassinate them.

Orlais: You have two cows. They're snobby and tight-laced.

Ferelden: You have two mabari. You love your dogs.

Orzammar Nobility: You have two cows. The younger one tricks you into murdering the older one so he can put the blame on you an assume control of the barn.

Orzammar Lower Class: You have two cows. Bandits steal them both and leave you with a hoof that you pawn off to the nearest merchant for 6 copper. The bandits steal that copper and leave you for dead.

Redcliffe: You have two cows. One dies to save the city from destruction. Alistair is mad.

Dalish Elves: You have two halla. You don't have enough halla. This is bad.

Circle Templars: You have two cows. You don't trust them, and they're probably evil.

Circle Mages: You have two cows. You don't trust them, and they're probably stupid.

Grey Wardens: You have two dogs. They drink darkspawn blood. One dies, and the other saves the entire country.