[UPDATE BELOW] Good morning—it's Election Day, the sky is bright and clear, and a set of skinless goat heads are dangling from a traffic light in Park Slope.

Uh. Looks like goat heads hanging from traffic light at 9th st. And 5th ave. in Park Slope @Gothamist @SlopeNews pic.twitter.com/a20qqLSlkD — Katherine Hurd (@katiehurd) November 4, 2014

We have little context for the goat heads outside of what appears in the photo—tied together with string and dangling like a pair of sneakers from a pole on 5th Avenue and 9th Street. If shoes on a telephone line denote the presence of a crack dealer, what do a set of goat heads mean? Is this a heroin reference, or is it finally the beginning of decorative goat head season, which we last celebrated in the spring? If you're the artist/psychopath behind this stunt, how did you go about fastening the goat heads to the string and will you be offering a Skillshare class?

We've dispatched our junior goat head correspondent the front lines to collect information/samples. In the meantime, uh, be careful where you push that baby stroller.

[Update, 12:27 p.m.] Intrepid Goat Head Hunter Valerie Heinmets has returned to the office, her flack jacket soaked in effluvium, with tales from the front lines: A crowd had assembled around the wilting animal pates, she tells us, and the presence of a growing cloud of flies leads her to believe the heads did indeed once belong to an actual living creature.



(Valerie Heinmets)

A couple of cops drove by and stared at the heads from the safety of their patrol car before leaving, she said. A trio of firefighters, dressed in their gear, emerged from a nearby bodega. "It's like wind chimes!" one quipped before all three wandered away. Sorry Park Slope, you're on your own out there.

It takes a certain type of person to pause their day to marvel at sun-dried goat parts; those people also tend to give good quotes. Here are some:

"That's some sick shit. I don't want no part of that shit. You see those bottles with names and oils in them at Prospect Park? Don't ever touch them. We got witches out here." — J.C. Rivera

[While taking pictures] "That's disgusting—I got to show my sister." —Mickey Guzman

"That's one way to send a message." —Ted Giannopoulos

"That's messed up." —Aiden Rahieb, age 9

Not everyone is enthralled with the goat heads. One man attempted to remove them with what looks like a piece of siding. He failed, but not before batting them around for awhile like a blindfolded child swiping at a piñata.

Man tries to remove animal heads at Ninth St and Fifth Ave. in Park Slope. A video posted by leslie (@reporterleslie) on Nov 11, 2014 at 9:00am PST

Update, 2:20 p.m.: RIP, goat heads, which once hung around a Park Slope traffic pole like fuzzy dice on a rearview mirror. Someone finally successfully knocked the things down, though local businesses are denying involvement.

