Wow, a lot of crappy stuff happened to the survivors last season on The Walking Dead. So much crappy stuff, in fact, that not all of them are survivors anymore. But with the season 5 premiere around the corner, wouldn’t it be helpful to have that entire laundry list of misery and pain compiled in one handy dandy video lasting but one minute long? Yes! Yes, it would! So we did exactly that.

Here’s everything you need to know to get you all caught up for The Walking Dead season finale Oct. 12 on AMC. (To be honest, I had no idea I could even talk this fast. I should start auditioning for old school Federal Express revival ads.) So check it out as part of your official Walking Dead pre-game routine, and then click here for the most obscene amount of Walking Dead coverage you have ever seen in your entire life. Okay, roll the tape…