Whenever you use a word should, it invites a question “according to who”?

Let’s face it — we are all very much guilty of throwing around the word ‘should’. You shouldn’t be thinking this. You should like this. You shouldn’t be unhappy at this job. You get my point here.

Here I am talking about shoulds that we apply to thoughts and emotions. Actions subsequently grow out of these emotions and, hence, they are a byproduct of the seeds we plant in our minds.

The quote above is from Gavin de Becker and it is a great question we need to ask ourselves every time we think someone should feel or think one way or another. We definitely need to ask this when it comes to our own thoughts and self-limitations.

When you are feeling down about your job, upset with your friend for “no good reason”. When you are doubting a person. When you don’t want to have kids or go up some career ladder. Self and society imposed shoulds don’t apply here. Accept your feelings and thoughts and act upon those.

“It doesn’t matter what it should be, it matters what it is.”

The way you feel about certain things/ people/ actions is so so so important. You have to challenge these feelings, believe in them, live by them, break them but never feel like a certain someone (even if that’s you) came up with the rules and now you have to feel bad for not following.

New Girl is always relevant

Remember when you were that annoying kid asking your mum “but why?” after everything she said. Do that. Take your thoughts one by one and ask “yeah..but why?” instead of punishing “I shouldn’t…” because fuck that, you totally should.

I have written sort of similar piece on why we do what we do here. Let me know what you think :)