To the first three of which the judge responded, more or less: (1) It’s allowed to. (2) Without any proof to show that MillerCoors is controlling the actions of distributors and retailers, it’s not responsible for how they characterize the product. (3) Too bad.

The response to the ads, though, was the part that caught my eye. You’ve probably seen the ads in question. They feature brewmaster Keith Villa talking about his love for craftsmanship and hanging out with a baker who uses a wood-fired oven and a fancy coffee roaster. When you see Villa and beer, it’s in a cute, funky space with old-fashioned small-batch equipment. The tagline is “artfully crafted.” Absolutely everything about it screams out “craft beer.” You can practically hear Villa turn from his small-batch baker and say, “That’s how we brew Blue Moon.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWQXoROTgIU

He doesn’t, though. When you look at the ads in the context of the lawsuit, you realize that much of the artful crafting was on the part of the ad agency, which made all of the visuals suggest strongly that Blue Moon was a craft beer, while none of the words did. It was a wedding with lots of white dresses and a big cake and no “I do.”

Which meant, in Judge Curiel’s opinion, that it was “puffery” that consumers know enough not to rely on.

That, it strikes me, is a perfectly reasonable judgment that I am not sure I believe. Certainly Parent wouldn’t buy it. He was taken hook, line, and sinker. So was I when I first encountered the beer. I assume that lots of folks were, not because we’re all dumb, but because we don’t think very often about the distinction between craft beers and regular beers. For a while there, if you used “craft beer” as a synonym for “beer that tastes nothing like Budweiser,” you were probably right: Go for non-Bud, and you would almost certainly end up with something created in small batches using traditional techniques.

Phil Howard’s “Ownership of Beer Brands and Varieties,” 2010. Click to zoom

Now, not so much. Goose Island, formerly an independent Chicago brew, is now part of the gigantic Anheuser-Busch InBev. So is Shock Top. Magic Hat belongs to North American Breweries, same as Labatt. The beer is still pretty good, but the special sauce—small business, small batches, local ownership, exclusivity—is gone. For many people, that’s fine. Non-Bud is non-Bud, whoever makes it. For others, it means they would rather avoid the product altogether. And what the Blue Moon case suggests is that false advertising law isn’t going to be a whole lot of help in letting those folks figure out which beer is “craft” and which isn’t. The masters of puffery know exactly where the line is between making a factual claim about a product and engaging in puffery. The rest of us are on our own.

How much does this matter? It’s hard to say. It would be nice if there were a legal standard for what qualified as a craft beer. (There are standards, but they have no legal force). It would be nice if we all had the mental energy to get all hermeneutic on every ad and label we encountered. It would be nice if Big Food and Bev products automatically tasted like crap, and your palate could detect abusive labor practices and corporate greed as easily as it recognizes Cascadia hops.