Answer

baeddelshinsgirl:

That’s actually not the case.

When a queer person ships characters in a queer way, it’s in the context of a media environment that has traditionally only constructed queer relationships in the context of tragedy (particularly queer women’s relationships), and queer characters as broken, evil, or both. There are exceptions in the media now, but they’re rare, and very frequently they’re in queer-themed shows and books to begin with. So we’re basically told, “you can have your characters, but only in media that’s written around you to begin with.” Queer people shipping characters in queer ways is a way of claiming representation where the canon offers none.

In contrast, when heterosexuals ship characters in same-sex relationships, there is very frequently a strong undertone of fetish - the characters are being treated as toys for the heterosexual to put together because they’re aesthetically pleasing to the heterosexual that way.