Today I want to talk about approach anxiety. Let’s examine a common scenario:

Man spots girl, measures hip to waist ratio, hair volume, and other health indicators–becomes attracted.

Because of his genetic programming he feels a small surge of adrenaline. His heartbeat increases, his palms sweat, his eyes dart about nervously and his mind stutters at him with the eternal chatter of, “What if?” “What do I say?”

The result is that he does … nothing. He freezes. (I know from experience.)

What’s happening?

The mind affects the body and the body affects the mind. If your body becomes nervous, your mind becomes nervous, and so forth. A perpetual cyclone of doom–and a terrible state for picking up.

If I were to stand you on a high cliff overlooking a craggy shore, and just at the height of your terror I urged you forward, as you teetered, the result would be similar to AA.

Approach anxiety is similar to fear of death

Let’s be typical with our analogies and talk about cavemen. If you were a lonely, horny little caveman, and you stumbled upon another wandering tribe, you would feel a great, overwhelming trepidation about approaching said tribe. Why? Because approaching that tribe might get you speared, gored, impaled, and/or eaten alive. Resources are limited is all.

Luckily, we live in a great, modern age, and due to rule of law, we can no longer legally bludgeon each other without implication. At least not in Canada. I’m not sure about New Mexico. However, that primal fear still exists within our psyche.

Top this off with social conditioning. Maybe you’ve been told by parents, or society, to keep your head down, do your work, and don’t interupt. Be seen, not heard. Don’t rock the boat. Etc. You’ve been trained into submission. So the act of approaching goes against everything you’ve been taught. You need to untrain yourself. You need an intervention.

How to deal with AA

Step one: Decensitization–Approach many, many, women. Hundreds if that’s what it takes.

Step two: Be thoughtless, formless. Do not think. Quiet your mind and act in the present moment—The Now.

Since the mind and body are linked, if you think, then your body will react. Just like if a Grizzly bear were to attack your car, your body would release adrenaline, and your mind would become fast, and hyper.

In the army, soldiers are trained to ignore the chaos of war through a rigid desensitization process. They crawl under barbed wire, through mud, whith explosions and live bullets zipping overhead. This conditions them to behave in a calm, organized manner while under harassing fire from anti-capitalist Jihadists. If a soldier tries to analyze his situation too thoroughly, he may become parlyzed with fear and the next thing he knows, his platoon has been massacred, he’s holding his uncoiled innards and screaming to God for his Mommy.

Why is approaching step one, and not learning to be thoughtless, formless? Good question

Your subconscious wants proof that everything will be OK. Without proof, all of your inner game Ebooks, seminars and dvds are useless. Your subconscious still believes cave men want to smash your head and have anal sex with your lifeless corpse. It still believes that if you jump off that cliff you will splatter on the rocks and crabs will feast on your vitreous humour, and no matter how much you meditate, you will never, ever convince it otherwise. Unless…

You force your body to experience the sensation repeatedly, until your subconscious has the proof that everything will be alright.

Once you’ve approached dozens, hundreds, or thousands of women, you will find that approaching is not scary. It’s no big deal. It’s like a fighter training his muscle memory. Once you are calm, then you can move on to meditation, and deep inner game work. Only after you have real life experience, can you refine technique.

How long will it take to eliminate AA?

It’s different for everyone. I would say the average guy needs to work at it for about three months, three to seven days a week. For most guys it’s about one hundred approaches. For many it’s less, and many it’s more. But this is in my experience, the average.

Here’s the cold, hard truth. Until you put in the work, picking up girls will a gargantuan task. Women do not like nervous men. They’re scary and weird.

Great news; AA is the easiest fix of the process. Just repeatedly face your fear–it will eventually go away, and you will be whisked off on the pickup artist express—first stop, Vaginaland. (Kids Cheering).

***If you’re in the Phoenix Arizona or Las Vegas area, I will be available for approach coaching all of October. I am also available for Skype/phone coaching***

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