I question my marriage all the time. When my husband and I get into a fight because he's so stubborn it pisses me off to the point of throwing things of across the room, I ask myself if it's possible for us to peacefully coexist. When I feel disappointed because he doesn't spoil me with presents or capitulate to all my demands, I ask myself if he is really capable of giving me everything that I need.

But here's the thing: I know that he is the love of my life, my soulmate, and I am wholeheartedly certain that there is no one else in the world for me than him. He is THE ONE! But I also know that, if push came to shove, I don't need him.

Questioning my marriage gives me the self-confidence to know I can be successful outside my marriage. It gives me an out. Perhaps that sounds messed up coming from someone who made a vow of marriage less than four years ago. Though it seems completely counterintuitive, regularly questioning my marriage actually keeps me even more committed to it.

Here's why:

Questioning my marriage means I can make no excuses when I'm unhappy. And that keeps us both happy.

Questioning my marriage keeps me honest about why my husband really is the love of my life - because we have a love based on trust, respect, balance, and complete commitment to each other. When we fight, we don't sweep it under the rug and harbor bitterness or resentment. We figure out a way to fix it...eventually. (Marriage is work!)

Questioning my marriage gives me the confidence to know that it is not based on complacence or codependency.

Questioning my marriage is the freedom to check in with myself and to not be ashamed of how my life turned out.

Questioning my marriage keeps my marriage healthy!

When searching for inspiration for my wedding vows, I found these words:

"I will work every day to make myself a better person. I promise I will not ask you to complete me. I will not ask you to fix me when I'm broken."

My actual wedding vows were quite a bit more romantic, but I think they're perfect for this post. My husband and I work together to become better people. We support each other, but we're not codependent or needy. To us, questioning our marriage is the key to a successful marriage.

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