1 December 2013



Shown: Firefighters checking vehicle wreckage to absolutely confirm Walker's death

Actor Paul Walker was killed Saturday in a fiery Southern California auto crash, which accident investigators are calling "an apparent act of fatal typecasting". Walker, 40, was a passenger in a red Porsche driven by his unrelated friend Johnnie Walker when the car left the roadway, hit a hidden ramp, flew thirty-five feet in the air, made three complete , then wrapped around a tree and exploded into flames. Both occupants were pronounced dead at the scene. According to eyewitness accounts, the accident occurred quickly, and was very "intense", but was also "a little bit awesome". Walker, the repeated victim of Twitter hoaxes claiming to report his death, confirmed his own death two hours later with the following post:

A local paper, the Santa Clarita Valley Signal, quoted Antonio Holmes, a friend of Walker's, as saying "Him and his buddy...just decided to joyride, take a spin." Reports that Holmes then burst into a fit of giggles have not been confirmed.

Shortly after news of Walker's death broke at around 3:30PM PST, the Internet momentarily became unusable due to millions of Twitter and Facebook users attempting to post the word "FAKE" simultaneously. However, when the news was officially confirmed, condolences flooded in from around the Internet, with Alyssa Milano tweeting "No, @RealPaulWalker. No. No. No. Rest with the angels. You. Sweet boy. #beauty #love #RIP", and Walker's Furious co-star Vin Diesel adding, "yo I just learned to use my thumbs but tough break @RealPaulWalker well miss you". On a down note, film critic Leonard Maltin gave Walker's death only two stars, citing his "wooden performance".

Known for his stubbly good looks and for his ability to express various degrees of bemusement on command, Walker made a name for himself with multifaceted and complex star turns in such films as The Fast and the Furious, 2 Fast, 2 Furious, Fast & Furious, Fast and Furious Five, Faster and Furiouser 6, Fast and Furious 7: The Revenge of the Neverending Sequel, and Brokedown Palace.

Walker was preceded in death by his own career.

Sources