The funkiest Motown martial arts musical comedy from the 80’s is finally getting the sequel treatment, and it’s shaping up to be every bit as funktastic as the original. Featuring an all-star cast of newcomers led by John Boyega, Denzel Washington, Steven Seagal, and Ariana Grande and featuring the return of Taimak Guarriello and Denise “Vanity” Matthews, Berry Gordy’s The Next Last Dragon picks up 30 years where The Last Dragon left off. Keep reading for exclusive details from the highly guarded plot, including what ever happened to Leroy Green and the Shogun of Harlem. Sho’nuff!

Over three decades ago Motown founder Berry Gordy confounded critics with his urban martial arts musical action comedy The Last Dragon. Critics were in agreement and felt the film was a hot mess — a genre mashup that was too juvenile to rise above its hodgepodge heritage. Fortunately moviegoers disagreed and The Last Dragon made a healthy profit at the box office, and went on to become a cult classic.

The Last Dragon is a film that has it all — romance, funk, intrigue, martial arts, comedy, great costumes, Vanity, killer music, practical stunts, Vanity, and a hero nicknamed Bruce Leroy. Despite this arsenal of awesome, bringing the Dragon back to the big screen has been a struggle with Tri Star Pictures, Sony, and Motown all asking each other “Who’s the Master?” over the rights to any future adventures of Bruce Leroy and company.

Recently however an agreement was reached, and a sequel directed by Albert and Allen Hughes is currently in pre-production. Berry Gordy’s The Next Last Dragon picks up 30 years after the last Last Dragon. Leroy Green Jr. (Taimak) has been missing for 15 years. After a mysterious incident, the martial arts Master abandoned his wife Laura (Vanity) and their 5-year old son, Leroy Green III. The only trace of “Bruce Leroy” has been the occasional fortune cookie sent to the Green family home.

Bruce Leroy has become a modern-day version of Master Sum Dum Goy. If you recall in the original Dragon, Leroy discovered that the mysterious master was actually a computer spitting out fortune cookies. So now he is following in the computer’s footsteps and doling out bite-sized advice to his wife and child from afar.

Of course, quite a lot of things have changed in Harlem. It’s no longer ruled by The Shogun of Harlem. After his defeat at the hands of Bruce Leroy, Sho’nuff left town humiliated.

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!

In the years that followed Sho’nuff (Wahington) cleaned up his act and went back to school. He became a software engineer and founded a technology company named Master Enterprises. Sho’nuff met with success after success and the company’s value skyrocketed over night. He was the toast of Silicon Valley. But he never forgot his defeat at the hands of Leroy.

Using his billionaire wealth, Sho’nuff secretly began funding a group of mercenary martial artists led by Steven Seagal’s Sho’tuff. These largely white, middle-aged Cobra Kai commando wannabes started buying up precious real estate in Harlem, pricing out long-time residents.

Bruce Leroy’s karate school “Soul Glow Kung Pao!” was the last holdout in the area. Sho’nuff ordered his commandos led by Sho’tuff (Seagal) to bribe Leroy in order to get him to move out, but ever the white knight our hero said “No.”

Sho’nuff then ordered Sho’tuff and his men to torch the karate academy. In the ensuing blaze, several of Leroy’s students lost their lives. Since that fateful day, no one has seen Leroy in Harlem or anywhere in the area.

After the fire, Master Enterprises began tightening its grip over Harlem. Sho’nuff’s master plan involves pricing everyone who may remember his past out of Harlem, so he can return triumphant as the sole “Master” once more.

What Sho’nuff hadn’t planned on was inadvertently leading Leroy Green III (Boyega) to make a fortuitous discovery.

Once “Soul Glow Kung Pao!” academy was burned to the ground, Laura Charles used the fire insurance money and what little was left of her song writing royalties to move her and her son into a much riskier neighborhood. While it seemed Harlem was doomed again, the attic in the Charles’ new home held a new hope.

One evening, 18-year old Leroy Green III decided to venture into the attic. That’s when everything changed. Staring back at him was an authentic costume worn by the late Brandon Lee during the filming of The Crow. From that day forward, Leroy Green III would be known as Brandon Leroy, and he’d wear the costume every day.

By day, Brandon Leroy went to community college but by night he began to train in the ways of the Master. As his powers grew, so too did his ambition. Brandon began to fight crime at night as a masked vigilante.

Word spread, and Sho’nuff sent out an order to discover the identity of the mysterious crime-fighter the press had dubbed “Glow Crow” because of his ability to glow while performing martial arts.

Using his masterful hacking skills and social media abilities, Sho’nuff discovers the identity of “Glow Crow” and, more importantly, that of his girlfriend. Rosita (Ariana Grande) – Leroy Green III’s bae – is then kidnapped by Sho’tuff.

This all leads to a finale involving “Glow Crow” fighting Sho’nuff and Sho’tuff at the same time. Brandon Leroy employs a new strategy of splitting his psyche in half – sort of like having the light and dark sides of the Force in balance – with the “Glow” portion of his self defeating Sho’nuff while the “Crow” part of his being beating Sho’tuff to a bloody pulp.

In the end, Rosita – also an expert hacker – exposes Sho’nuff for his past crimes along with Master Enterprises corporate fraud. Once again, Sho’nuff becomes the laughing stock of Harlem, but this time, it stings even worse thanks to the Internet. He’s ousted from his own company, and left a shell of his former self.

The film’s postscript involves Rosita cracking the code baked into the mysterious fortune cookies Brandon’s dad has been sending him. The messages actually held the coordinates to Bruce Leroy’s location – Jersey City, New Jersey.

Brandon follows the fortune cookie map and traverses the largest steps in the NJ Transit System (the escalator was broken) to find his dad at the subway station, on a stationary bike from Soul Cycle. Bruce is glowing with energy as he cycles in place. Brandon then holds an item out toward his long-lost father. It’s the “authentic” medal that belonged to Bruce Lee, which set his dad out on his Hero’s Journey 30 years ago. Father and son just stare at each other. Brandon begins to glow too and tears stream down his face making a mess of his Crow mascara.

The End.

I don’t know about you, but I’m glowing with excitement! Berry Gordy has done it again. For all Star Wars fans who were disappointed that John Boyega was not a Jedi in The Force Awakens, your cries have been heard. We hear the amount of action in The Next Last Dragon puts the entire Original Trilogy to shame and rivals Jackie Chan’s greatest Police Story sequences. Apparently Denzel and the Hughes brothers outdo their previous collaboration Book of Eli. More importantly, the chemistry between Boyega and Grande is said to be off the charts. Daisy Ridley who?

The Next Last Dragon is set to dragon punch the world in early 2017 – just the thing to tide us over for more Boyega-as-Finn in Star Wars: Episode VIII. Tell us whether you’d watch The Next Last Dragon in the comments below or on our new messageboards. Please say Willybobo sent ‘ya. (I work on commission.)

“Who’s the Master now? I’m the Master!”