Dear Estelle

It seems to me like abortion is out of the question - and, dear Estelle, that is a good thing!

You seem concerned about your future and deciding against abortion confirms that!

Why do I say that? Cause, surest way to make yourself feel guilty and bad - and even open the door to depression - is to opt for abortion

So, good call dear one!

Now, what other choices are you left with? Adoption or keeping the baby - no third solution

Let`s look at both of them:

1. Adoption - for the time being it seems like the best solution because you would save the baby`s life (which is a huge plus) and would be able to go to your dream school

what`s the down side? You don`t think you would be able to give the baby up once you saw him/her (that is a good feeling and I know exactly what you mean!)

What are possible consequences of this - you would have to give your dream school up if you keep the baby

2. Keeping the baby and giving the school up right now - so, your mom told you that she would help you (another huge plus) with the child, but you would have to give the school up right now

This shows you that in the end, you seem to have only one decision to make: to give the school up now and be done with it, or to give the school up later (after you have seen the child and cannot part with it)

Either way your perfect school dream is not in a good situation!

But, perhaps there are other options in which you can have both - the child and the school

1. Option - your mom could change her mind after she calms down from the shock and offer to take care of the baby while you go off to school

I know that you would looooove for this to happen, right? :-)

Though it is possible, I have to tell you, it is not probable!

2. Option - you could postpone your perfect school dreams for a while and then, after few years go by, go for your dream - if you still want it

See honey, dreams are a peculiar things - if they are good and strong they are endurable, so the passing of the years does not change them but strengthens them

If your dream is like this, then do not fear that you will lose it if you don`t act right now – it will still be there and so will your desire

On the other hand, some dreams are not so persistent and after some time of turmoil, they die away only to make place for new ones

If your dream is like this – then, if you lose it, it means that you never wanted it that bad in the first place, so you won`t feel bad for not geting it

In either case, you are in a win-win situation!

You are young, full of life and energy, want to embrace the whole world and this situation seems to prevent you from doing that, but you never know - perhaps few years from now it will change its ugly and scary face into something beautiful - the face of your precious child

So, I know that you are disappointed even scared for your future, but take those emotions and use them for good

Use them as a means for you to grow in love and respect for the human life

To cherish and save sex for marriage where you will not fear your fertility

And to learn the biggest lesson about yourself - that you are prepared to momentarily (even permanently if the situation requires) to sacrifice your goals for the sake of the good of the other - in your case your baby

And dear one, that is the best lesson in love you can learn - for, what else is love if not the desire and the will to seek the good of the other over our own good

That is why love is so difficult - but trust me, dear one – quite worth it!

So, do not be scared to put the good of your child in front of your own momentary good – God is sure to reward this act of pure love! :-)

Hope this helps, wish you all the best and send you a warm hug

Sincerely

Maria