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A couple of worthy green missionaries out in Vancouver, weary of their weight on the global ecosystem, have installed in their new, modest $3-million home “a super-insulated, radio-frequency-controlled designer cat door.”

Their cherished furball can prance from the house to the lawn and back whenever it takes it into its whiskered little head to do so, with an absolute minimum of atmospheric displacement.

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The cost? A pittance, a trivial $2,000. The story, unfortunately, tells us otherwise very little about the cat — personality, reading habits, wardrobe, his take-out menu. Which is a shame. It would be nice to know, for example, what jewelry he selected for his litter box. No self-respecting tabby with a two-grand bolt hole is going to back-squirt in some 10-buck plastic pan from Walmart. That we can be sure of. It’s a Birks box and a gold flush or Robert’s your uncle.

The story is clear … about the motivation behind the gilded gateway

But the story is clear — it’s the very headline — about the motivation behind the gilded gateway. Here it is: “This Vancouver couple says their $2,000 cat door is helping to fight climate change.” And how could it not? Why, it’s right up there with not washing the pillowcases for a month or swearing off the golf cart for trips to the 7-Eleven.