In the March 16 newsletter, Jason Concepcion examines the Dad Bron era, Amanda Dobbins announces her endorsement for Young Han Solo, and Jonathan Tjarks highlights four players before the NCAA tournament. Getty Images No Country for Old LeBron By Jason Concepcion There’s a line in (one of) LeBron’s recent smartphone commercials that always jumps out at me. The ad opens with LeBron receiving a call before dawn. The caller exhorts James to get into his workout routine. That is unless, the caller says, the King is content with his many successes. James cuts the guy off (“Man, you know it’s all about getting one for the Land”) and hangs up. Then the line, delivered with a Roger Murtaugh–like sigh: “It’s too early for this.” Athletes get old (sure) or injured (of course), and from time to time they will even admit to being fatigued (usually adding something like, “but I’m pushing through it”). Bodies, even those that resemble colossal statues, tire. Weariness — the kind that LeBron expresses in this ad — though, is an unexpected note. Maybe I’m giving too much weight to one second of a television commercial. But when an athlete appears in an advertisement, every word and image that ends up in the finished piece must pass through a multilayered gantlet of writers, executives, designers, brand strategists, handlers, managers, and various advisers before ever reaching the King himself. My guess is the thinking behind the line was that it humanizes LeBron. Who doesn’t want to hit snooze on a 5 a.m. workout? Athletes: They’re just like us! And why shouldn’t James be weary? He turned 31 in December, and has logged more than 38,000 minutes in a 13-year career. In his fifth straight visit to the Finals last June, James was Atlas, with all of the Land balanced across his mighty shoulders. And Cleveland lost in six. LeBron’s usage rate topped 40 percent in four of the six games (47 percent in Game 1!). After losing Game 5 104-91 in a barrage of fourth-quarter Warrior bombs, James was asked about his confidence. “I feel confident,” he answered, “because I’m the best player in the world. It’s that simple.” No one argued. But what once appeared to be Steph Curry on a [Borat voice] very nice hot streak has turned into Steph Curry: Blazing Heart of the Sun That Powers the Golden State Star-Killer Base. LeBron is still great. He’s just not the greatest anymore. More than ever before, LeBron needs his young, largely unblooded, sometimes flaky teammates to help carry a weight that only he seems to comprehend. In time, I believe, future historians — working from a space station because humanity lost the war against the AlphaGo A.I. — will look back at that line of phone commercial dialogue as the beginning of the Dad Bron era. Just look at the evidence: After using Twitter to seemingly chide his teammates, LeBron admitted last week that he doesn’t really know what he’s doing on the platform: “Twitter hasn’t been around that long, I’m kind of old,” James said. “I don’t know.”

“Twitter hasn’t been around that long, I’m kind of old,” James said. “I don’t know.” He posted a bitmoji of himself as Batman wearing red LeBrons and holding a teeny-tiny helmet. In fairness, kids love Batman.

bitmoji of himself as Batman wearing red LeBrons and holding a teeny-tiny helmet. In fairness, kids love Batman. Earlier this month, he came through with the very fresh Teddy Roosevelt drop: “If you’ve ever read Theodore Roosevelt, ‘the man in the arena,’ it basically just symbolizes if you’ve never been in the arena before and felt the blood, sweat, and tears … then you can’t really understand.” If that doesn’t get Kyrie’s attention, I don’t know what will.

he came through with the very fresh Teddy Roosevelt drop: “If you’ve ever read Theodore Roosevelt, ‘the man in the arena,’ it basically just symbolizes if you’ve never been in the arena before and felt the blood, sweat, and tears … then you can’t really understand.” If that doesn’t get Kyrie’s attention, I don’t know what will. He praised Channing Frye on Monday for showing steel after receiving an elbow to the groin: “He’s a vet.”

praised Channing Frye on Monday for showing steel after receiving an elbow to the groin: “He’s a vet.” He had a serious talk with his team (*cough* J.R. *cough*) last weekend warning them about the dangers of partying in L.A.

He compared himself to noted old man Tim Duncan.

compared himself to noted old man Tim Duncan. He wants everyone to get together and pose for group pictures, which is a power-dad move. This is a lesser LeBron we’re watching. His 3-point shooting has been worsening since the 2012-13 campaign. This season, he’s posting his lowest free-throw rate (.354) since his rookie season. And he takes off more plays on defense than ever. Is this the great decline? Who knows, maybe he’ll turn on the afterburners in the postseason. One thing’s for sure, though: Father Time has more rings than anyone. Ringer illustration Make Han Solo Great Again: Vote Miles Teller By Amanda Dobbins Yesterday, The Hollywood Reporter published the (reported) shortlist of actors in contention to play Young Han Solo in Phil Lord and Chris Miller’s upcoming spin-off Star Wars prequel. Alden Ehrenreich, the dreamy fake cowboy from Hail, Caesar!, is a finalist, as are Taron Egerton (The Kingsman) and Jack Reynor (Transformers: Age of Extinction). Congratulations to these guys; it was surely a career highlight to stand in a room yelling about the Kessel Run while a casting director did his best Chewie impression. But a mistake has been made. Of all the actors in consideration — Emory Cohen! Ansel Elgort! Every male whom Richard Linklater has ever worked with! — there is only one true Young Han Solo, and he has somehow been cut from the process. We demand a correction. We demand that Disney cast Miles Teller. Think about it: What do you really want from Young Han Solo? (Besides the ability to stand up and say, “Maybe we shouldn’t make this movie.”) You want swagger; you want a touch of dickhead. You want a dude who gives terrible nicknames to people he’s never met, but who also will get drunk and tweet about how much he loves “Over the Rainbow.” Emory Cohen is too nice. Taron Egerton is too Welsh. Jack Reynor is too Hemsworth, and Alden Ehrenreich is too good an actor. (Would Ryan Gosling be Ryan Gosling if he’d followed Half Nelson with a spaceship movie? No.) Miles Teller is our only hope. Miles Teller is the charismatic, goofy, slightly down-on-his-luck millennial actor we need. We urge you: Vote Miles Teller for Young Han Solo!

Bill Simmons welcomes old friend Chuck Klosterman to discuss March Madness and the NBA. Then, Jonathan Abrams joins to promote his new book.

Juliet and Amanda confess their undying adoration for all things boy band, dissect Aaron Carter's GQ interview, and revisit the ongoing Garner-Affleck saga. Getty Images Who to Watch During March Madness: The Kyle O’Quinn All-Stars By Jonathan Tjarks For players from smaller conferences, the NCAA tournament is a chance to become a Kyle O’Quinn All-Star. Back in 2012, O’Quinn, then a Norfolk State senior, wasn’t on many draft radar screens. That all changed when he led the 15-seed Spartans to a stunning upset over 2-seed Missouri, scoring 26 points and grabbing 14 rebounds. O’Quinn ended up being selected in the second round of that year’s draft, and went on to carve out a career as a reserve big man. He will make well over $20 million by the time his NBA career is over. Here are four guys from smaller schools looking for their O’Quinn moments (and money) this week:



Joel Bolomboy, Weber State

Damian Lillard’s alma mater strikes again. Bolomboy is an interesting story (his father is from the Congo; his mother is from Russia) and a ridiculous athlete. At 6-foot-9, 235 pounds, he has NBA-caliber size and speed, and has even flashed a 3-point shot as a senior. The Big Sky MVP, Bolomboy is also the conference’s all-time leader in rebounding — a skill that will translate at any level.



Stefan Jankovic, Hawaii

Athletic, 6-foot-11 big men who can shoot 3s aren’t supposed to be at low-major schools. Jankovic, the Big West Player of the Year, is a Missouri transfer who averages 15.7 points and 6.6 rebounds on 56 percent shooting, but the key number is his 40 percent clip from 3 on 2.5 attempts per game. He’s a poor man’s Donatas Motiejunas — a mobile big man who can score inside and out, though there are questions about his rebounding.



A.J. English, Iona

English puts up numbers that any stats guy would love — 22.4 points, 5.0 rebounds, and 6.2 assists on 43 percent shooting, and 37 percent from beyond the arc on 9.1 (!) attempts a game. He’s the engine behind Iona’s up-tempo offense, and the Gaels will need him at his best to pull off an upset against Iowa State. He doesn’t have great athleticism, but his size (6-foot-4, 190 pounds) and ability to run point will give him a chance to be a combo guard off the bench at the NBA level.



Reggie Upshaw, Middle Tennessee

The Blue Raiders start five 3-point shooters, and Upshaw has the best chance of transitioning to the NBA. At the next level, 3-and-D wing players are all the rage, and Upshaw has the skill set to defend multiple positions and knock down corner 3s. The concern is whether that shooting is sustainable — he made only 51 percent from the free-throw line this season, and he shot 29 percent from 3 last season.