Welcome to my first season of reviews of Game of Thrones. I’ve read all the books and have taken a deep dive on the book subreddit so I’ll be writing from the perspective of someone who has read George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire and may reference book theories/spoilers.

I always think of episode two of each season as when it really starts since the first episode is all about reminding people what all the characters are up to and what their plans are. Well this week’s episode definitely started getting things done and wrapping up loose ends.

Dany and her team have put together a surprisingly good plan for conquering Westeros. I say surprisingly because as great as her council is they almost all have beef with each other and I’m definitely expecting those who are still alive to eventually try and betray the others at some point. I’m glad they didn’t ignore all the political plotting from the past 6 seasons though. Dany shouldn’t just trust Varys right off the bat – he betrayed her father, sold her to Khal Drogo, and sent assassins after her. Tyrion should absolutely hate Ellaria because she killed his innocent niece AND one of the last things Oberyn said to Tyrion is that she would be safe in Dorne away from the politics of Kings Landing. Yara and Theon are just idiots – don’t get me wrong they’re helpful and their ships (what’s left after the episode anyways) are super important to the war BUT everyone knows the people from the Iron Islands are idiots, Jaime even said so last week. And Olenna is pretty much just after revenge – this was the first time I’ve seen her give shitty advice which was basically “don’t listen to any council even though you’ve never been here or know how certain houses will react to certain threats. Just burn them all with your dragons.” Which yes would be awesome television but Tyrion does have a point, Dany doesn’t want to just be queen of a burned nation that hates her.

Mel comes back this week to convince Dany that she needs to go north and listen to Jon Snow plus it seems like she’s finally learned that she shouldn’t just take her visions at face value. I was skeptical about her after the past few seasons since she was so gung ho on following the visions even after Stannis the Mannis was killed because she convinced him to burn his daughter but if she’s just going to tell people they need to work together to kill the Night King and his army then I can get on board with her. Also adds another wrinkle to Dany’s council though as Vary’s doesn’t trust her due to his junk getting cut off in a blood sacrifice when he was a boy by a red priest.

Meanwhile back in Winterfell, Jon is dealing with planning for the White Walker invasion while Littlefinger tries to bang his sister. For some reason the Lords of the north don’t seem to realize that fighting an army of the dead is way more important than what Dany’s dad did 20 years ago or what Tryion’s dad/sister did despite Sansa and Jon vouching for them. Luckily Jon decides that recruiting dragons and getting one of the few weapons (dragon glass) that actually hurts the White Walkers is enough to risk a trap and decides to head down there with Davos. Before he heads out though, Littlefinger tries to make sure Jon knows he was saved by the Vale troops and that LF is interested in Salsa. Personally I think he was hoping to get Jon to agree to have his sister marry LF but instead he chokes him out like Ned did back in Season 1.

In Kings Landing, Cersei and Jaime are trying to convince the remaining lords that they need to band together with the Lannisters in order to fight off Dany and her “savages” to mixed results. Randall Tarly (Sam’s dad and notable asshole) is offered the position of grand general of the armies and Warden of the South after the war but even he’s hesitant and calls out that after blowing up the Sept last season and violating guestright with the Red Wedding the Lannisters are the most hated house around even if they are the royal family. So it’s still up in the air if he’ll help them but it looks like he’s leaning towards it although I’m predicting he initially leads their army but turns against the Lannisters at some point. Maybe when he learns of the White Walkers? Cersei also has her Grand Maester working on a mysterious way to stop the dragons that turns out to be a giant crossbow. I’m not sure how they think they’ll be able to hit the dragons while they’re flying with those things or how they’re sure that they’ll be able to kill them with it (it was only tested out on a stationary 300 year old/decayed skeleton without scales) but I’m guessing D&D just don’t have time with 11 episodes left to create something else to hurt the dragons.

While heading south, Arya learns (from Hot Pie!) that the Boltons are dead and Jon is DAKINGINDANORF and decides that killing Cersei can wait. As she’s heading back north a pack of wolves surround her led by her direwolf from season 1, Nymeria. After a brief moment together Nymeria leaves with her pack and Arya realizes that Nymeria is no longer her wolf. She’s found her own pack and Arya needs to do the same thing. Or something like that. It was confusing but the after the episode part kind of explains it as that.

Finally the episode ends with Euron attacked the Greyjoy fleet and killing 2 of the sand snakes while capturing Ellaria, sand snake 3, and Yara while Theon has another mental breakdown and flees in order to not drive Euron into killing Yara. Honestly, this man is a hero for killing those sand snakes. I don’t care what he does the rest of the season show. He could kill and rape every single remaining character and team up with the White Walkers and I’ll be okay with it because he got rid of those fucking annoying sand snakes. If you haven’t read the books you should, in them the sand snakes are actually interesting, smart characters who plot against the Lannisters in smart ways. In the show they offer the bad pooosey to Bronn.

God I’m glad they’re dead and the remaining one is about to be dead.

Hopefully Theon gets some redemption though because he was making serious progress on not being Reek anymore. I’m betting that he’ll die at some point either saving Yara or Dany or both and that’ll be his chance to make it up to everyone for fucking up everything for Robb/the Starks.

Oh and Sam finds a cure to greyscale and is trying to fix Jorah which I’m guessing will get him expelled from the Maesters since they told him not to do it. Plus it’s hinted that he’ll be the one in the future writing A Song of Ice and Fire (name of the book series) when he’s talking to one of the head maesters which is bullshit because I just want him and Gilly to die already.

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