If you love tedium, I have the crochet pattern for you!

Everyone, say hello to Octavia the Octopus.

Her name was originally Ophelia the Octopus, but I was told that was “too depressing.” (See, it’s funny because Ophelia ends up in the water. Literature appreciation can never start too early!)

She’s a Hanukkah present for my friend’s son. 8 days, 8 legs.

I briefly considered sending one leg a day and having my friend assemble her on the other side. Hilarious, right? Again, I got told I could not have the things I wanted.

Ophelia was originally meant to be done months ago.

Here’s why it took so long.

I made the head.

Then I made a leg.

Then I made another leg.

And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another.

Then I made a suction cup. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another.

And two eyes. (You’ll notice they’re different from the pattern. I thought the pattern’s eyes were scary for a child.)

Then I sewed the whole kit & caboodle together. Including each suction cup.

I’m not going to lie to you: this was the worst.

If you calculated time spent vs my hourly wage, this is a multi-hundred-dollar octopus.

If you want one for your kid, you can feel free to make one yourself.

The Holocaust. 9/11. The Octopus. NEVER AGAIN.