By Ilana Glazer

Gothamist (via Buzzfeed) reported that Wall Street’s statue of a bull is in Collapse download.php”>desperate need of relief. An anonymous vandal spray-painted the Wall Street’s bull’s balls blue (say that three times fast), and a few hours later, it had been washed down and (in my imagination) massaged back to its original state. I would have loved — LOVED — to have watched that clean-up process that, in my fantasies, was done by two macho Staten Island cops, each taking one congested testicle. When will the Dow stop crumbling in its “historic slide” and the US will no longer have to fear a second Depression? Maybe when we admit that we’re already in it. Oh but… good work, nameless soldier of political truth. Balls are funny!

Photo from Gothamist