Last Updated on December 28, 2019

For as long as there have been there have been things to sell, there have been advertisements; and for as long as there have been advertisements, there have been exaggerations, startling imagery, hidden agendas, and downright lies.

Given what we know today about the impacts of tobacco use, nowhere is the shameless absurdity of adverts more apparent, or more laughable, than in these historic ads.

The big, bad tobacco industry has never been known for its transparency or goodwill. Today we will take a look back at their unethical practices.

Back then rules were very soft, now there are many regulations and the FCC has the last word. The tobacco industry is struggling now more than ever, hopefully they will be able to jump off the sinking ship in time.

Here Mommy, Have a Smoke

There is no more satisfying way to shut up a naughty baby than by killing it slowly with second hand smoke. So to all you stressed-out moms out there, we here at Marlboro recommend you punish your infants the easy way: don’t scold, just light up!

Cancer Makes Her Toes Curl

Before there was Axe Body Spray, there were cigarettes. Just spark one up, blow it into the face of an attractive passing stranger, and you’ll be in for one hell of a time.

Cigarettes for the Feminists

If you are a strong, independent modern woman who believes in gender equality and thinks that women deserve to be allowed to smoke wherever they damn well please, then you deserve a Virginia Slim.

Real Men Have Black Lungs

Nothing screams masculinity like a Marlboro man pointlessly disassembling and resembling his car and smoking so many cigarettes he forgets to eat. Truly, the road to manliness is paved in cigarette butts, auto grease, and fancy flip-top boxes.

How Do You Like Your Pleasure?

Shaped like a phallus? Perfect.

Umm… What?

Oh, wait, now I understand. Comic book, devil costume wearing, inept acrobats smoke Camels, so I should too. Seems reasonable enough

Smoking in Space

Nothing spells satisfaction like a broken cigarette that smokes in an oxygenless extraterrestrial environment.

Or At Least That’s What They Tell Their Friends and Coworkers…

In reality, the sad truth is that Tareyton smokers are the most statistically likely of all cigarette smokers to suffer from spousal abuse.

A Pack a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

Is your seven-year old having difficulties breathing? Not a problem, simply have him inhale large quantities of hot ash and tar into his lungs, and it should clear right up.

A lot has changed since the good old days when preteens could get a prescription for a pack and beautiful women were irresistibly aroused by a puff to the face.

Nowadays, people actually get upset when you light up on an airplane. Can you believe that?