Ray Rice said that he is "truly sorry to the people" who are "really" going through domestic violence—seemingly in denial that what happened in that elevator last February—a very physical, very violent assault—doesn't include him in that category. Janay shared a similar sentiment, stating, "I feel like God chose me and Ray for a reason, and it was definitely to bring awareness to what people are going through every day, even though it's not what I'm going through every day."

"No one wants to be a victim. That's a loaded, challenging and embarrassing label for any person to carry," says Kenya Fairley, MSEd, senior director of capacity building and education for the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence. "We have this perception that people who are victimized by abuse in their relationship get into that situation because they have low self-esteem, and that's a complete misconception. People's self-esteem gets eroded over the course of being abused over a period of time."

Liz Roberts, CEO and chief program officer of Safe Horizon, the largest victims' services agency in the U.S., said in a release: "Janay has chosen to defend her husband saying that this was an isolated incident and that 'everybody makes mistakes.' There is always a first punch and whether the violence happened once or 100 times—it's still domestic violence. Most survivors we help do give their partners a second chance. Janay has the right to do that, and it's our job to support her and others. On average, a victim will attempt leaving a relationship an average of seven times. Survivors stay for powerful reasons that should never be minimized."

According to Pinero, some of the most common reasons domestic violence victims give when discussing whether or not they should stay with their partner include: "I don't want my children to grow up without a father," "My faith dictates I can't leave this relationship," "It will ruin his career," "It will ruin his life," "I love my partner," and financial concerns. It's a dilemma millions of women confront: A report by the CDC released in September shows that more than one in three women in the U.S. have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner, and one in four women has experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner.

For many of us, it's painful to watch Janay—who is described by her mother as a confident woman and has certainly shown strength in the wake of what must be a living nightmare—stand by the man we saw attack her in that grainy black-and-white elevator video. It's equally painful to think about the rock and a hard place she's been wedged between. She didn't ask to be the poster woman for domestic violence, the same way she didn't ask to be be forced into what she says was a scripted public apology by the NFL, or be brutally attacked by the man she loves. We can only hope that she did ask to share her side of what happened and how she's doing with millions of Today viewers.

"It's very challenging for anyone to talk about something so initimate and personal and let themselves be vulnerable, let alone someone in the public eye," says Fairley."Hopefully she's taking care of herself and doing things that feel very loving and positive that feel very affirming for her.... I respect her for being able to speak out, share her story, and being willing to let other people be a part of it."

If you or someone you know might be experiencing domestic abuse:

Do you suspect a friend or loved one is the victim of abuse? Approach the conversation from a nonjudgemental place, says Fairley. Her suggestion: Say something like, "I believe you and I'm concerned for your well-being. How can I help?" or "I'm here for you if you want to talk about anything that's going on your relationship, even if it's frightening or hard to talk about." You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or contact the organization online via hotline.org to get help, whether for you or someone else.