Sure, you probably already guessed that getting high, poorly rapping DMX songs into your headset, and murdering your own teammates wouldn't fly in the real military. But many "serious" game elements which we take for granted are about as illegal. Starting with:

Military-themed video games get more and more frighteningly realistic with each generation, to the point where we're honestly a little taken aback whenever we take a pee break and there isn't a ticker-tape parade waiting for us in the bathroom. That said, there's still one thing franchises like Call Of Duty and Medal Of Honor need to nix before they can be completely faithful to reality: all of the goddamn war crimes they force your hero to commit.

6 Taking Hostages (Splinter Cell, Call Of Duty: Black Ops)

Ubisoft

There's nothing quite like the thrill that comes with sneaking behind an enemy, grabbing him by the neck, and watching as his comrades are forced to resist the urge to turn you into a pulpy bandolier whilst you drag him wherever the hell you want. You know what they say: The world is your oyster when you have a hostage.

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You can also do this in video games, apparently.

Ubisoft

"No! Not Charlie the Suicide Bomber! He's retiring tomorrow, you monster!"

In Splinter Cell, it's impossible to progress through the game without snatching several unwitting guards from the shadows and forcing them to give up information, open doors, ward off attacks, or simply allow you to smell their necks. Meanwhile, in Call Of Duty: Black Ops, you're told to board a boat, snatch an enemy soldier, and use their gun to wipe out his fellows, safe in the knowledge that your new human sweater is absorbing every bullet fired at you. There was probably a less dickish way of doing this, but that wouldn't have looked so fucking awesome ...