UPDATE: Everyone’s Favorite Meth-Smoking Incest Enthusiast Found Yet Another Way To Get Thrown In Jail

Well here’s a story that escalates really f*cking fast. Siblings Charlene Ellet and Cameron Beck, in addition Ellet’s two-year-old twin daughters, arrived at a Walmart in Porter, Texas last month — where Ellet was detained on shoplifting changes. When Beck came looking for his sister at the loss prevention office, authorities searched their car and found a burnt lightbulb and a cut pen — both which tested positive for crystal meth.

The two were booked with shoplifting and possession of a controlled substance, which would have been where the story ended if the deputies hadn’t put the two in adjoining cells. Rookie mistake! I’ll let the Montgomery County Police Reporter take it from here:

When they arrived back at the office both were placed in adjoining cells. As deputies worked on the booking reports they witnessed Beck and Ellet kissing each other on the lips through the bars. One of the deputies questioned what they had told them earlier about being brother and sister and Ellet admitted they were. Ellet was then removed and taken back to another office and questioned about the strange relationship. She told them she was adopted and had the same biological mother but a different father. She stated that Beck had been in prison and they had been writing each other. He was released in November of last year.

These two get booked for a little bit of shoplifting and meth and all of a sudden they act like they’re going down on the Titanic like Leo and Kate. Also, fact: Having the same biological mother = STILL SIBLINGS.

She also stated that they had been staying in a motel and her, Beck and the twin girls were sleeping in the same bed. She admitted to being involved in a sexual relationship with her brother since his release. She explained that the room had a partition and the children would stay on the other side of the partition when she and her brother had sex. Other times she and her brother would just go to the bathroom.

This story has got everything! There’s Walmart, shoplifting, meth, prison romance, incest, having incestuous sex in front of children — wait, are we sure these two aren’t from Florida? Can we check with the DMV on this one? Maybe they’re originally from Florida, or lived in Florida, or drank some water in Florida one time at some point. All I know is that I STAUNCHLY BELIEVE that there is no way Florida is not suspect in some way here.

H/T Jezebel