"On Friday, the House Judiciary Committee approved two articles of impeachment against our president," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show. "The vote was 23-17, along strictly partisan lines. That's right — not one Republican evidently has a problem with the president blackmailing a foreign government to get dirt on a political opponent. In a related story, the GOP has changed its mascot from an elephant to an ostrich."

"The full House is expected to vote on impeachment on Wednesday," then senators will act as the jury in President Trump's impeachment trial, Colbert said. "It is their constitutional duty to be impartial," but Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell "sees that just slightly differently," telling Fox News he is letting Trump's lawyers dictate how the trial will go and confidently predicting there's "no chance" Trump will be removed from office. "How is that okay?" Colbert asked. "Uh, spoiler alert! Don't tell me how democracy ends!"

Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) isn't even pretending to be a "fair juror," Colbert noted. "Really? You should at least pretend. Because when the trial starts, the oath you take actually says 'I solemnly swear ... I will do impartial justice according to the Constitution and laws, so help me God.' So, to cover up for Donald Trump, a man you loathe, you're going to raise your right hand and lie to God? You're going to betray the man upstairs for a man who's afraid to walk down stairs?"