My parents are divorced.

They have been for a long time.

I spend weekends with my father

But all through the week I am cared for by my mom.

When I was younger I used to go to my dad’s house

Every morning too.

He taught me how to be kind,

How to love others, and he reminded me

Over and over again how much he loves me.

But there were lies too.

Isn’t that how divorce works sometimes?

My brothers told me not to talk about mom.

Every time I was at dad’s house

Mom got the silent treatment.

As I get older my relationship with my mom gets better.

I talk to her every day

And she leaves little notes for me hidden all over

Reminding me how much she loves me too.

We go for walks in the woods

And just like that song I learned so long ago at dad’s

“All flowers remind me of her.”

My sisters are teaching me more

About mom’s side of the family,

How she was once held in great esteem.

They taught me about her persecution

And how my siblings who stood up for her

Were silenced.

Why does divorce have to be so messy?

What drove my parents apart?

Is healing possible for my family?

When I go visit my dad

He assures me of mother’s place.

He says he loves her,

But he doesn’t seem to make the effort to get to know her.

He promised me this year

That he would support me more

That the things I learned at mom’s each week

Were central

And my weekend visit

Would strengthen my weekday life.

But I feel so betrayed.

The promise feels hollow.

He still will not speak of her.

Mom gives me hope.

She reminds me that

Love is a powerful source and can heal all wounds.

She assures me that this separation imposed on her

Will not last forever.

I realize I don’t have to choose

Between one parent or the other.

And I don’t have to apologize for or hide

The relationships I build.

I will take what’s good from my dad

And let it join my mother’s unconditional love.

Limitless, boundless, inclusive love.

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