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You see one video of somebody freaking out after oral surgery, you've seen them all right? Well, usually, but not so in the case of Jayci Underwood, a woman who had her wisdom teeth removed and woke up wondering why in the world the procedure didn't turn her into Nicki Minaj. It's a fair question, you know? For as much time and pain goes in to taking out just four teeth, you'd think they could get in there and work a little extra magic.

"I'm really upset," Underwood laments in the video. "I wanted to look like Nicki Minaj when I woke up." When a man off-camera tells her she's still pretty, Underwood replies, "Not like Nicki." It's like she's looked into the face of unrealistic beauty standards and really confronted the futility of trying to change them. "I just wanted to have her butt," she continues. "And her face." Oh, Jayci. Everyone who's seen the "Anaconda" video is right there with you.

Later, Underwood confesses her love for Ellen DeGeneres, whom she admires because she's "generous." "It's literally her name!" Underwood adds. She also wants to be friends with Beyoncé, who she believes might like her more if she looked like Jay Z. That's definitely possible, Jayci. But if you really want to impress Bey, try to look like Blue Ivy. Absolutely no one can resist her adorableness.

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Eliza Thompson senior entertainment editor I’m the senior entertainment editor at Cosmopolitan.com, which means my DVR is always 98 percent full.

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