Pulling the Plug







Muslims couldn't afford to buy these shiny new instruments of death & destruction, because the two commodities they possessed in abundance -- sand and misery -- weren't fetching much in the global marketplace. And they sure as hell couldn't produce those high-tech weapons themselves, because they'd spent the last thousand years wallowing in superstition & ignorance, and thinking about how great it was to be a Muslim. Their empire-building had been achieved via pure military aggression and a kamikaze mentality, rather than through advances in technology. In reality, they were never the scientific geniuses the politically correct types would have you believe. Much of the braininess the Muslim world supposedly produced during the Golden Age of Islam (in the 8th through 10th centuries), was actually the work of heretical freethinkers, such as the Persian al-Razi -- or of Zoroastrians, Jews, and Hindus living in the Caliphate alongside Allah's faithful. Which probably explains why this mini-Enlightenment fizzled out, once the Muslims succeeded in converting most of the infidel eggheads living among them.







Of course, for the devout Muslim, when you've got Allah on your side, you don't need no stinkin' technology! (Until you do, that is.)







After a few disastrous clashes with well-armed Europeans, such as the Turkish siege of Vienna in 1683, where Polish and Austrian forces prevailed, Muslims began to realize that the whole jihad business just wasn't working out the way it was supposed to anymore. Maybe Allah was displeased with them for some reason. Or maybe He was just testing their faith, or their patience. Well, long story short -- they learned to be pretty fucking patient. And the world got to be a pretty safe place for infidels, especially those in Western Europe, who could now get back to the time-honored business of killing each other , secure in the knowledge that whoever won the war de jour , it sure as hell wasn't going to be any Muslims. Christianity was safe once more. Hooray! And, more importantly, so were the deists, pantheists, atheists, and other fledgling freethinkers living among the Jesus junkies -- the prototype secular progressives, to whom we owe so much. God bless them, every one!





