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An outer-Betoota woman who won’t leave the house without eight layers of low-budget carcinogenic facial beauty products says there is something wrong with a culture that encourages women to cover their face.

The local Newsagency magnate says that if people want to come and live here, they should live the way we do and apply their skin with concerning amounts of phthalates, lead, quaternium-15 and other Formaldehyde-Releasing Preservatives.

Keely Sawyer, who bought her first kit of FEG Compounds, butylated Compounds (BHT, BHT) and imidazolidinyl urea-based make up with a Dolly Magazine on her 12th birthday, says she doesn’t trust anyone who feels the need to have a thin layer of cotton of silk over their face while in public.

“It’s quite intimidating” she says.

“The worse thing is that it’s encouraged in their culture. They cover their face purely because society tells you to”

Keely’s mother, Stacey, who has recently taken to using bright pink eye shadow that matches her bright pink androgynous cropped haircut, says she agrees with her daughter.

“How are we supposed to know what they really look like under all that?”

“It’s frightening that they encouraged to cover their faces from such a young age”