White Australians will advise non-white Australians as soon as they start being racist, it has been decided.

“This is a good system that removes any confusion,” a spokesperson said. “At the moment we’re not being racist, but we’ll let you know if that changes. We’re experts on this, so there’s nothing you need to worry about”.

Another spokesperson – who has extensive experience in the racism area – strongly agreed. “I understand that this can be complex for some people – it is a little tricky if you’re not experienced in this kind of thing – but we’ve got it covered, ok?”

He said there was no need to get all uptight. “What’s important is that we take the emotion out of this issue and just stick to the facts. That way we can just get everything back to normal”.

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