Yes, it's true. In recent years the WWE started hitting us with season premieres, which I suppose is as good of an excuse as any to hype a "special," or loaded, RAW . You just have to blissfully disregard the fact that the WWE not only has no true seasons, but they've often bragged about the fact that they never take any time off. Even though they like to compare their facts and figures with regular shows that do.

But look, if it means that we're going to get a better RAW than usual, I'm all for it. We usually know to look toward the post-PPV RAWs for action and intrigue. Debuts, new angles, etc. But then we're left with four or five other RAWs until the next PPV that are either standard or sub-standard. So any excuse for a party, I say.So how was the season premiere? Well, aside from Cena's unfortunate "wife-beater" remark in Baltimore (which was probably intentional since good taste and tact have never been strong enough forces to stop Vince from making a "topical" reference) and a man named "Jerry" being wheeled out of the arena on a stretcher (again, a reference to a horrible thing that happened once!), it was okay. Nothing to top a post-PPV RAW though. In fact, the way that it all ended with Reigns getting decimated by The Authority felt very un premiere-y. If anything, that was a season finale cliffhanger.Oh, and Seth Rollins almost became a Sethkabob...How did I never notice that there were deadly spikes on the bottom of the cage when it lowered? Have those always been around? That's not a gimmick, that's a Temple of Doom trap. That's a "No Mr. Bond, I want you to die" type kill-zone. Can you even imagine the dark ages wrestling would have fallen into if Seth had gotten freakin' impaled on live TV? Not only would millions of children have been subjected to an impromptu snuff film, but wrestling would've been flat-out erased from television for at least a decade. Okay, five years (we get over things quicker now).Plus, we'd never EVER get ice cream bars back. No wrestlers on sticks. No way.But yeah, it being a heavily-hyped RAW (though only for a week) seemed to suggest a big, crowd pleasing ending. Like Ambrose running back in to save Reigns. Who, for a few minutes there, fought back inside the cage and got all Rorschach on Orton.But then evil triumphed and Reigns got put down, which is the best thing for him, really. I'm not fully anti-Reigns yet and I like him going after Rollins; and then perhaps teaming up with Ambrose when he comes back to take on The Authority. But he's dreary on the mic. And "Balee Dat" sucks toad balls as a catchphrase. Everyone got behind "YES!" -- which is about as dumb and basic as you can get -- because it was ironic. It was designed, at the outset, to be annoying when Bryan was heel. And so the older fans (who are the loudest in the crowd) latched onto it because it was so ridiculous. And they liked Bryan. And then they realized at Mania 28 that it looked awesome when everyone chanted it at the same time and pointed up.No one over the age of eight is going to accept "Buhleeeee Dattttttt!" And you can almost even feel that Reigns himself is internally grimacing every time he says it. I would prefer -- totally prefer -- if Reigns just spoke with his Paul Bearer imitation voice the whole time. It would be effing weird as hell, but it'd be better than what's currently coming out of his facehole.Which is why Ambrose is still my pick to face Brock at 'Mania 31. Sure, Bryan could be back, and the people will love him, but I don't think the WWE is going to give him another huge WrestleMania moment - given that his last one didn't pay dividends like everyone, including Bryan, had hoped for. I know getting injured wasn't anyone's "fault," but "fault" and "deserve" and those types of abstract nouns aren't usually taken into consideration. Bryan got one of the biggest (double) wins that any Superstar has ever gotten in the industry and a month later he was gone from the ring. I'm just doing basic risk-assessment here.That's not to say Bryan couldn't fight Brock. In fact, he'll probably be a contender if he makes it back soon enough (Brie stated in a recent interview that Bryan WON'T be having that second surgery and is rapidly working to rehab his weak arm), but he might get fed to Brock in order to set Brock up for 'Mania. And as much as I love Bryan, he doesn't need to be made into a star again. Brock's eventual defeat should help someone else become a star.Anyhow, speaking of cages and inappropriate near-penetrations...Um...yeah. Things got rather intimate between Bray and Jericho last night during the final moments of their blow-off match (another unfortunate term). This was, officially, #4,322 of "Wrestling Moments Not To Show To That One Friend Who Thinks All Wrestling Is Homoerotic."As for the cage much itself? I've never been a huge fan of blood-less cage matches. And the whole "escape the cage" thing always winds up rubbing me the wrong way (phrasing!). Climbing over the cage is okay, usually, because it sets up big spots and guys usually wind up tumbling back down. The door thing has always been iffy though.We have to chuck a lot of logic out the door when we watch wrestling. We give into, and give ourselves to, the established "rules" and particular physics involved. How people climb ladders and cages slower than a constipated ninety-year-old. But it's almost too much to believe that someone can't quickly walk out of a doorway. Especially when, during a regular match, they can exit the ring quickly when needed.

Jerry Springer, plus Cena and Heyman, on Page 2...