North Korea’s central news agency, KCNA, has announced that the country has test fired a series of three short range missiles into the Sea of Japan, with the additional aim of defeating the sea in military combat and claiming its territory.

Shortly after launching the missiles, KCTV announced that the sea had surrendered to the might and power of the North Korean regime.

“The sea has realised its arrogance,” reported the state-owned news network. “No longer will it see fit to sink Korean vessels and claim the lives Korean soldiers. The sea is now loyal to Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un, Master of the Waves.”

The news agency warned the United States and South Korea that any vessels traveling near North Korea were in immense danger of being capsized by the sea, which was reportedly “full of rage at the imperialists.”

U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, who has been meeting with foreign dignitaries in Washington today, briefly spoke on the subject of the missile launches.

“We understand that North Korea has launched approximately three short range missiles this morning, and we can confirm that they have hit their intended target, which is this vague area,” he said, circling his finger around the entire Sea of Japan on a map.

“We do not, however, believe, as the North Koreans have claimed, that the sea has surrendered to them. We are currently talking to our friends in Japan and trying to establish direct lines of communication with the sea, but we anticipate at this hour that these reports are fictional.”

Today’s missile launch comes just months after North Korea conducted a series of underground nuclear tests to flush out the mole people.