Rovers Fans Set Up Venky’s Out Camp

Blackburn Rovers fans are trying all sorts of weird and wonderful ways of persuading Indian owners, the Venky’s to sell up and leave their beloved football club. One of their strangest ventures has been the setting up of a protest camp on land high above Rovers’ Ewood Park football ground.

This protest camp is a mixture of tents, including native American style teepees. Chief of the protest camp and spokesman for the newly formed ‘Ewood First Nations’ is Blue Owl. He told me he is really called Fred Grimshaw and lives on the nearby Higher Croft estate. But for now he and his tribe have devoted themselves to the growing campaign to get rid of that other tribe of renegade Indians – the Venky’s from faraway Pune.

Blue Owl said: “Our tribe belongs to Rovers, but they do not belong to us. This cannot be said of current so-called owners, the Venky’s. They may have temporary possession of our sacred club, but they do not belong and like the demons they are, their possession will one day be exorcised”.

Protest tactics to be used by the Ewood First Nations will include banging drums and doing a war dance during matches. They will also be producing smoke signals using their barbecues. Of course Venky’s chickens will be nowhere to be found when these barbecues are put into action. This is one signal they don’t want to send out to the rest of the nations.

These gallant braves will also be taking part in the ritual of waiting for when the sun reaches its zenith in the sky at high noon. When this happens they will try shining sunlight from handheld mirrors into the Ewood Park stadium. This latter tactic is also meant to symbolically reflect back the evil medicine emanating from Venky’s, as well as sending sunlight into their eyes and dazzling them, should they ever turn up for a Rovers match. No doubt this act will probably remain just symbolic.

Blue Owl is expecting a long campaign before Rovers return to the happy hunting ground. Driving the Venky’s invaders from our ancient ancestral lands will take a heap of big medicine. But, as with the endless flow of the River Darwen below the camp, separating it from Ewood Park, their determination to take back what it theirs is like that of the salmon leaping and the hooves of the thundering herd – never ending.