So I’m smooching up to Kobe like everyone else and telling him Thursday exactly what he wants to hear.

“The Lakers are going to stink this season,” I say, and he takes his medicine like I would expect. He laughs.

“And no way, no how are you going to be the No. 1 player in the game ever again,” I say, and he swallows it like it’s a miracle drug.

“Bring it on,” he’s telling me, and I let him know I could probably shut him down on defense right now.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” he says, and the patient is doing just fine.

But like anyone else who was the absolute best and isn’t quite sure if he’ll ever be the same again, the great competitor admits to being scared a little bit.

Since when did Kobe become human?

“It’s like reading a book but I haven’t come to the end yet,” he says. “Is it a happy ending, or does it end in tragedy?”

As for the ultimate question, “No, I don’t know what I’m going to be like when I come back.

“I’ve worked very hard and I have been blessed to be around great mentors, have been taught great fundamentals and have learned multiple positions. I’m hoping I will be able to adjust if I’ve lost any quickness or explosiveness.”

I interrupt.

“You told me a year ago you would never allow me to see you slip as Michael Jordan did in his final NBA run.”

“It’s not going to happen,” Kobe says. “I’ve talked to a lot of actors who won’t take a role if they don’t think they can execute it.”

Well, there’s no way a guy coming off an Achilles’ tendon tear is going to be able to execute the way we remember Kobe doing his thing. You can’t act like you’re a great athlete if you no longer can jump as high.

“Fantastic,” he says. “Love hearing that.”

And so the sparring goes as it has for almost 13 years now. Early on he was a delight, and then he wasn’t. He had his personal problems off the court, as a result closing ranks and tightening the circle of trust around him.

But last year he was so different, maybe even the Kobe of old at an earlier and more approachable place in life. There was more smile than scowl, although no one is ever going to accuse him of going Dwight Howard on everyone.

He’s always been engaging, or capable of being so, but also too moody for a guy who seemingly has it all. But that fell off him like an ugly mask last year.

Maybe it was the start of his farewell tour, one taken so often by athletes who come to recognize they can beat anything but the passage of time.

“You can’t beat age, just hope to delay it,” says Kobe. “I think my relationship with Los Angeles and Laker fans has evolved over time. I think that my competitive drive that has bordered on being psychopathic is better understood now. I think I’ve become more patient as I’ve gotten older and allowed people to walk through what drives and inspires me as a player.

“That’s what I felt when I was walking off the court after tearing my Achilles’. It was a different kind of ovation from when I scored 81 points. It was more like, ‘thank you,’ and I’ve got to tell you, it touched me to my core.”

The Lakers’ season starts next week, and I never asked. He doesn’t know when he will be ready to play, but it’s going to take time because, “I gotta be ready to come out guns blazing,” says Bryant, now 35.

“I have to make sure I’m ready because now that I’m older I have to worry about the rest of my body compensating for where I was injured. At this age other things can go quickly if you’re not really ready.”

He becomes a free agent at the end of the season, and Jim Buss says because of the pay structure of the NBA, the Lakers will allow Kobe to become a free agent.

He says he has talked to Kobe and believes they have an understanding, Bryant waiting as a free agent while the team spends to upgrade and then using what is left over to pay Kobe.

“We’ve probably talked,” says Kobe while being somewhat vague, “but I’m putting off any thought of that.”

So what is he thinking about these days?

“The next bucket,” he says. “The way I have gotten through all this is to visualize different buckets. I fill this one, check it off and move to the next. It’s kind of like what it takes to be a good player, the repetition of just doing it the same way every day. It’s like I’m Bill Murray in ‘Groundhog Day.’

“I’ve also heard from so many people who have dealt with something like this and it’s like they’re expecting me to beat it, so I have to do it for them, too.”

But why bother, knowing how awful the Lakers are going to be, and isn’t Kobe all about championships?

“Right now we’re 0-0,” he says, and now I’m laughing; Kobe Bryant playing the 0-0 card.

“Yes,” he says. “I do think this team can win a championship.”

One of us usually ends the conversation by telling the other one, “You’re crazy.”

It’s nice to see that hasn’t changed.