“Obama arrived in Panama City On April 10th for the Summit of the Americas wearing the usual sign on his back for such events, a big bold one reading: “KICK ME!” The “dissing” by Latin American leaders started much earlier, however.

Since December 17th when Obama announced his “let’s be even nicer to Stalinist Cuba” policy the Castros have treated him to a litany of humiliations that would drive even Anastasia Steele to scream: “No Mas!” to Christian Grey. You almost have to think he likes it.

A Martian come to earth and cursorily reading the news would conclude that the Castros ruled the planets’ richest and most powerful nation and were graciously bestowing favors on a tiny and impoverished neighbor—that was also a brutal, terror-sponsoring Stalinist dictatorship with the world’s highest emigration and suicide rates and that desperately needed financial succor.

Many non-Martians have also marveled at historic Democratic foreign policy. “Those Americans,” snickered Brazilian President and friend of Che Guevara, Janio Quadros, during a Latin American summit in 1961 ( JFK’s term,) “have a masochistic streak. The more you slap ’em around the better they behave.”

As usual, the Castros sized up an American President perfectly. “