In a completely predictable turn of events, your vaguely New Age friend is blaming her third pair of lost AirPods on some “weird moon energy this month.”

Your friend, who only returns the pods to their case when they’ve completely lost their charge and rarely takes any care to store them in a safe place, remains steadfast in her assertion that “the moon’s been terrible lately.”

Asked where your friend learned about all this moon stuff, she explained: “Instagram mostly. And I went to this really cool sound bath when I was in Sedona.”

You asked your friend what phase the moon was in when she left her AirPods and also her hat at a coffee shop or maybe on the bus today and she said, “Oh, I dunno. I just heard it’s like really bad. The moon is mad or something. I think it’s in Pluto.”

Astrology sources say that’s not what’s happening on any front, but they would be interested which of your friend’s houses Mercury is in right now.

When you asked your friend if she checked the cushions of her couch she explained that she doesn’t need to because she knows exactly how the moon wants this to play out. Then she reminded you to download Co-Star.

Your friend actually hasn’t downloaded Co-Star herself yet because she forgot her Apple ID password.

“Because of the fucking moon.”