(sounds of typing and chuckling) l (Door opening and closing) I (continued typing sounds)

Huh? Oh, no, this is actually for “The History of Sex in Western Poetry” class.

I know, it’s stupid. I took it thinking it was an easy credit, but Professor Turkle is a real sadist.

It’s actually kinda interesting. I mean some of those poems can get real hot and heavy. Seriously, some of it was practically porn.

Yeah, Neruda was a deviant, but in a good way you know. Just so. poetic. Get me?

...

What?

I have a face you just want to cum on?

Yeah, that’s a little forward. Umm, I should really get back to work.

(typing resumes)

What? No, it’s just...it was a really unique compliment. I can honestly say no one’s told me that before. It is a compliment right?

Okay then no problem here. I should really finish this though. It’s due in a week, but I want to make sure it’s really good, you know and-

Uhh, (humorless laugh) what? You wanna- I’m sorry, you want to cum on my face. Look dude I don’t know what signals you were picking up, but I am not into that. So... How much? No, that’s to low.

No, I’m not gonna do it, but if I was that’d be too low.

Ten dollars? No, still not enough.

All I’d have to do is sit there? No, I’d have to get your cum on me, that’s too low.

Thirty, yeah. That’s better, but I’m not gonna do it.

Because I’m not.

I don’t need the money, but- yeah, I know it’s easy.

It’s not that expensive. I just..

Fifty.

You heard me, Fifty or nothing. But NO touching, if so much as brush against me, I’m walking out. Okay then.

No I’m not getting on the ground. My knees would be all dirty. Here let me lower the chair. See perfect.

Alright, let’s make this quick, just- *squeal* Careful! You nearly gave me a black eye. Shit.

No, I’m not looking, just hurry up.

(A few seconds of silence)

Are you almost there.

What’s wrong, just do it.

No, I am not taking my shirt off, no way. No, just use your imagination or something.

I guess I can try, 'oh yeah, baby stroke that cock'.

Look, I’m trying. I’m not good at dirty talk.

Not saying it.

(debating)

Fine, (deep breath) ‘Please cum on my face.” There I said it.

Fine, (seductively) Please, cum on my face. Pretty. pretty. please.

No, there I said it. If you can’t cum I’m just gonna take my money and go. I don’t really want to-

No, no, stop it. Ugh, fuck, No I can’t see. Get me something to wipe with. Hurry!

Eww, it’s in my hair. Dammit, is it noticeable? Are you sure?

Fuck, No, I'm fine. Just..you know just give me my money. I've got to get back to work.

Ha, no that was a once in a lifetime thing.