Oldest North American Tree Accidentally Discovered in Rockford

Rockford, IL – The City of Rockford’s Parks and Recreation Department (RPRD) accidentally discovered another reason to label our region “The Forest City“: A Giant Sequoia tree was removed from the property currently occupied by Portillo’s during it’s construction in early 2015.

RPRD officials are claiming that the tree was thought to be “old and diseased” before uprooting it from the earth, which is now a fast-food restaurant parking lot. Environmental protection and investigation agents stepped in last year to retrieve the sliced trunk remnants after a tip was placed to investigate the Rockford area for illegal tree removals.

The Giant Sequoia’s rings have revealed that the tree was alive before its removal, and approaching 6,591 years in age, making it the oldest known tree in America. The oldest living tree was thought to be a Great Basin Bristlecone Pine, located in White Mountains, California.

“Transformation takes sacrifice,” said Lon Thorsberg, the city’s tree zoning director of fertilization and removal. “The people of Rockford asked for beef. That’s what we gave them. We’re sorry about the tree. No one gives a shit anyway.”

You’ll learn more when we know less.

– Jay Vannigan