It was on the shelf for two years. I knew it was there.I guess I always considered it a last resort. It was the rainy day stash. The “If I ever ran of everything else” stash. I knew it was there. It still had the plastic on it. There was dust on it.

It was my Turner and Hooch DVD.

I bought the dvd as part of a 3 for 2 offer. I only actually wanted New in Town. I also got Harold and Maude. I haven’t watched that either.

After returning home from a trip to New York, I had engaged in a fortnight long Tom Hanks binge. Honest to goodness, had you offered up a YouTube video of a Tonight Show featuring Tom Hanks, that was filmed from the TV using a 35mm camera and uploaded to the internet via walkie-talkie: I would have watched it. I had reached the end of the road

Turner and Hooch is one of those films you THINK you have seen. I knew the front cover. Everyone knows the “Hooch” references.We know the dog. There is always one person in company who THINKS they know the breed.

“I think it’s some sort of mastiff” *looks around the room for reassurance*

I used to mix Judge Reinhold up with Tom Hanks. The plot similarities between Vice Versa and Big probably didn’t help but the irony of mixing two actors up who played parts where they swap roles is too delicious not to mention. Was Judge Reinhold in a dog movie? Wait. Is Judge Reinhold Matthew Modine?

In my head, Turner and Hooch was Three Men and a Baby with ONE man and a DOG. I thought I had seen it. I hadn’t seen it. But when I did, I realised I had been too quick to judge.

I’m going to start by tipping my hat to the “Rom” element in this movie. It was most unexpected. It is probably the main reason I will watch this film again, maybe some winter’s night when I need a movie hug. Mare Winningham plays Dr. Emily Carson. Yes. Hooch’s vet. She is the type of actress who, when you see her in a film, you try to WILL her past roles to pass into your mind just so you can avoid opening the laptop and i.m.d.b.ing her. “Was she in those John Hughes films?” Was she on E.R?” (Nine times out of ten they were on E.R) (that or The West Wing)

Would Mare Winningham play an equivalent role now? I can’t tell. Is Emma Stone a fair substitute? Maybe without the Spiderman credit and that weird Jim Carrey video

Emily Carson: Well, it’s a nice night, and I have to walk Camille. Do you want to take a walk with me? Scott Turner:No. No. Well, you see, I’m starting to like you, and if we’re going to walk I’m just going to like you even more, and then one day we might even end up in love and everything will go on fine for a while, but-but then one day *bang* you’re gonna call me a selfish compulsive bastard!You’re gonna pull your hair, you’re gonna scream and you’re gonna say you never want to see me again because I drive you crazy, and I’m left shattered. Now, who needs that? Good night!”

To me, the romance in this film is very satisfying. I like that the female character is so forward. I think that compliments Hanks’ schtick. (the choice of that word is in no way suggestive) but if your mind sojourned down that path, Tom Hanks jumping around in the tiny drawers. I know..right?

Hanks plays Det. Scott Turner. He is fastidious. So fastidious in fact that the first five minutes or so are a montage of the Detective preparing for his day fastidiously. I guess this is a characterization included to highlight the “of all the people for this to happen to “ irony of Hooch’s arrival.It is a character trait that is nicely accented throughout the film though, and serves to provide a foil to not just Hooch but also to Dr Emily Carson and partner Det. David Sutton

Scott Turner and Hooch’s “love story” is well told. It has a nice balance of “Why I oughta!!” and “Maybe you’re not so bad after all!” It is a testament to Tom Hanks that one finds themselves wishing they were Hooch as the film progresses. Is that a thing? Well, for me anyways.

Emily Carson: What are you doing to this dog? Scott Turner: Just taking him for a walk! Emily Carson: He’s bleeding. My God! How long has he’s been bleeding? Scott Turner: Not long enough.

See more of Tom’s tiny drawers and comedy below.

Spoiler Alert

The movie travels along nicely as Hanks works his hoop off keeping all the plates spinning. However, it does climax in the greatest ’80s plot resolution : the Scooby-doo unmasking of the Chief played by Craig T. Nelson. Nelson clearly wanted to take one last shot at that Oscar before he sat down to dine on Coach for the ’90s. Yet instead of being rewarded with Scooby-snacks, Hooch was rewarded with a bullet. Water-coolers around the world were and are still are , I’m sure, abuzz with lively debate over whether Hooch should have perished. It’s neither here nor there I suppose. I sobbed. I know that.

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