Have a question about Riot Fest, or your homework, or dating, or if you’re handsome or not? We gave Riot Fest Mom her own column to answer all your questions, whatever they may be. Ask her anything. But keep it classy, Riot Fest Mom is a saint and she won’t put up with your foul mouth. Email Riot Fest Mom at [email protected] or use #AskRiotFestMom on the twitters and we’ll print them off so she can read and answer them.

Dear Riot Fest Mom, my mom says I can’t go to Riot Fest. Mom to mom, can you convince her? Pleeeeaaaase?

You should listen to your mother. But let her know that lots of moms will be there and if she is really worried she should come with you. The Riot Fest Twitter Guy would love to meet her I heard.

Dear Riot Fest Mom, what is the best way to get mud off of my leather boots?

First of all, you shouldn’t be wearing your nice leather boots to Riot Fest. This isn’t a fashion show. You bought those with the birthday money from Aunt Becky.

1. Let the mud dry. Then use a plastic spoon to scrape off the large chunks. This will get most mud off and the spoon will break if you use too much pressure. Then use a toothbrush to get the remaining mud and dirt off. Don’t worry if it’s not perfect.

2. Remove the boot’s shoelaces. Wash them with a mild dish washing detergent to remove any mud or dirt. Hang the laces up to dry.

3. Saddle Soap and Water. Get a sponge wet and rub it in/on your saddle soap creating foam. Start rubbing the lather all over the boot at first getting it wet and sudsy all at once and even. Once it is evenly lathered up go back and concentrate on very dirty areas. Keep a good level of moisture and suds working on this step. When it looks like the dirt is gone use a dry, soft cloth to remove saddle soap suds. There is no need to “rinse” the soap off because it has oils and waxes in it to nourish the leather. (But do remove the dirt and suds) Then let the surface dry naturally.

4. Remove marks/scuffs and polish your boots. Find a shoe polish of the same/similar color. A couple applications with some “elbow grease” rubbing in-between will get a very high gloss particularly in dark colors and black.

5. Place a fabric softener dryer sheet inside each boot. It will help deodorize the boots and remove any remaining smells.

6. Re-lace after the laces and boots have dried.

Dear Riot Fest Mom, what can I expect my first time going to a music festival?

Wear lots of sunscreen, drink lots of water, and don’t wear that new sweater grandma got you for Christmas.

Dear Riot Fest Mom, what is the best snack?

A healthy snack can be an important part of a well rounded diet. You want to make sure you have enough energy for the moshing you like to do. I eat a small bowl of cottage cheese with pineapples everyday. For the kids I sometimes make celery sticks with peanut butter, and if I feel like getting crazy I make them ‘Ants On A Toilet Seat”. Slice an apple into 5 pieces crosswise. Spread each slice with peanut butter and sprinkle with raisins. It’s hilarious and the kids love them!

Dear Riot Fest Mom, I met a boy on Tinder and we went on a date at a nice restaurant. He was really nice to me, but he was really mean to the waiter. And he also ordered his steak well done. What should I do?

First of all, I don’t know where Tinder is, but if you’re meeting guys like this there, you should never go back. People who talk down to, or are mean to waiters, are bad people. Also, people who order their steaks well done are probably psychopaths. Run far away from this guy. If you can wait until September, there will be lots of nice boys at Riot Fest.