The exact moment Noel Gallagher struts into J Sheekey, a seafood restaurant off Charing Cross Road famous for its thespy connections and exquisite oysters, two things happen in quick succession: he orders champagne and then he begins machine-gunning the first of about a thousand riotous anecdotes. We haven't even considered opening our menus and arguably Britain's Last Great Rock Star, sort of a Mancunian Elton John for the Britpop generation (adored, uncompromising, unapologetically blunt and really, really rich), is telling me how he and his absurdly beautiful wife, Sara, were round at Mark Ronson's house recently after an industry awards knees-up and something nigh-on cataclysmic occurred...

"Nothing good happens between 4am and 6am"

"We were on about the 15th hour of a 17-hour bender," Noel explains, chuckling, those eyebrows going off like a couple of mating Ewoks in a Zumba class, "and on the way to his gaff - we were coming from the Chiltern Firehouse, naturally - Mark tries to jump out of the taxi on the Westway. We had to grab him to stop him from being run over. Eventually, and alive, we make it back to his place and then he goes, 'So, does anyone want to hear the new Adele album?' Before anyone could say, 'No thanks, Mark, not at ten to five in the morning,' he sticks it on. Continuously. I kept saying, 'I thought you were a bloody DJ? No one wants this, not now!' The lesson of the story: nothing good happens between the hours of 4am and 6am. Nothing. Lovely lad, though, Mark. Adele? I'm not a fan. She always comes on the radio when I'm having my cornflakes: 'Hello?' No, f*** off!"

Noel Gallagher © Rex Features

As anyone who has spent any time with the man will tell you, Noel Gallagher is superb, dangerous company, not least because the High Flying Birds frontman has an opinion on absolutely everything, which this afternoon ranges from writing his autobiography - "Yes, I'll do one. No, I won't do a Wayne Rooney and write six" - to the absurdities of what he calls "Heston Blumenthal's barbed-wire-flavoured ice cream". We spend the afternoon talking, drinking champagne and - for me at least - laughing so much my face turns to clay.

We cover, and scorch, a lot of earth. Topics discussed before our food arrives - which, incidentally, is haddock and chips (£18.25) cooked about as perfectly as is possible - include the new Star Wars film: "I went on set and discovered the Millennium Falcon is made out of bubble wrap and tons of Lego sprayed silver." Noel's fallibility when faced with an oven: "That's how I imagine I will die. Sara will go away and I'll accidentally undercook a piece of chicken." Vegetarians: "I open the fridge sometimes and think, 'What I call food lives on this.'" Saturday night television: "I've been offered the X Factor twice and - right after I left Oasis - Strictly Come Dancing. Just ee-f***ing-magine." The lunacy of some fans: "I signed a dry-cleaning receipt for someone's son once. I asked, 'Don't you need this to go and get your washing?'" And, of course, someone Noel once described as "a man with a fork in a world full of soup": "I saw Liam at a Man City game recently and we were all right. Bless him, he's going through a bit of a tough time - you live by the sword, you get divorced by the sword..."

Once done with our battered fish, we contemplate what will be Noel's next significant Oasis announcement. No, not Glastonbury 2016, sadly, but a documentary, directed by Asif Kapadia - the man behind Amy and Senna - celebrating the 20th anniversary of the band's monumental two nights at Knebworth in 1996. "We have all this footage from behind the scenes leading up to the gigs, most of which can't be used as there's just monstrous drug taking. We shot the gigs using 16 cameras and we forgot about it. It feels like the last great gathering before the internet; youth culture's last great stand. A sort of 'you had to be there' moment. Nothing will ever happen like that again." And he's right. It won't. Just like this meal. And with that we order two coffees and two more glasses of champagne. Remember: "Live Forever" kids, if only in your own lunchtime.

**Cigarettes & Alcohol: **★★★✩✩

My Big Mouth: ★★★✩✩

Rock'n'Roll Star: ★★★★★

Fin' In The Bushes:* ✩✩✩✩✩ ** Overall:** ★★★★★

J Sheekey, 28-32 St Martin's Court, London WC2. 0207 240 2565 Read our J Sheekey review