opinion

Cincinnati may want an MLS team, but this city needs an XFL franchise

Right now, Cincinnati politicians are drumming up excitement to get a bunch of money so FC Cincinnati can join a league of soccer teams that already play, and get beaten, by FC Cincinnati. They say that MLS is the future, and that takes money.



After all, who would not want to invest $350 million to join a professional sports organization that gets comparable television ratings to a 1 a.m. rerun of “Two and a Half Men?” It’s business.



Well, FC fans, there is a better option than joining the MLS, where Cincinnati would already be late to the party. What if I told you we could join a new sports league that celebrates Cincinnati’s favorite game, football, and will boost our local economy?



Cincinnati needs to join Vince McMahon’s Xtreme Football League.

Our city has a storied history of failed semi-professional football franchises such as the Cincinnati Rockers, the Cincinnati Swarm, the Cincinnati Marshals, the Cincinnati Jungle Kats and the Cincinnati Commandos.



An XFL franchise in Cincinnati represents a chance for a new beginning.



Past XFL teams included the Orlando Rage and the Los Angeles Xtreme. Our franchise would be called the Cincinnati XXtreme, which would make us one “X” more extreme than Los Angeles. Big markets, take notice.

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This name adopts a tone that is family friendly, but edgy – like a bulldog riding a skateboard. The XXtreme is also written in American and not European like “Futbol Club Cincinnati.”



I don’t know what FC Cincinnati is thinking, but the last time I checked, the West End, Oakley, and Newport are in America and not a socialist nation in Europe.



The Cincinnati XXtreme is a chance for Cincinnati Bengals players to find a better fit – leveraging synergies that don’t exist in this town for professional soccer. Vontaze Burfict is fined for some of his hits in the NFL. In the XFL, Burfict would receive bonuses. Some of the media were disgusted when Adam “Pacman” Jones allegedly spit in the face of a jailhouse nurse. Every XXtreme season ticket holder would have the chance to have Jones spit in their face on fan appreciation day.



After Amazon dismissed Cincinnati, this city needs new, revenue-generating ideas. XFL game days will be a boon for local hotels, restaurants, and bars. Out-of-state fans will pour into town spending money, giving us the necessary tax dollars to rehabilitate the Brent Spence Bridge and fund new technologies in Cincinnati Public Schools.

Plus, the XXtreme would be more than happy to play in Nippert Stadium – a beautiful, historic stadium that does not need to be cast aside because Jeff Berding, Cincinnati’s version of The Music Man, wants to use taxpayer money to fund his second boondoggle.



What has Berding given us besides a $1 billion stadium for an NFL team that is allergic to playoff wins?



The decision between getting an XFL franchise and an MLS team comes down to patriotism. Berding wants a socialistic handout of corporate welfare, taxpayer money to help him build another professional sports stadium, this time for a team that can’t even spell “soccer” like a real American.



Or Cincinnati can have an XFL team, an American team – the Cincinnati XXtreme (because two X’s are better than one) owned by Vince McMahon, a man who has given us God-fearing Americans like Stone Cold Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan, and John Cena.



I, for one, am on the side of America.

Ricky Mulvey lives in Loveland.



