My best friend since I was five years old is one spiritual sista. She’s now a cancer doctor too, so she interacts with people every single day who are looking for solutions to not only cure their cancer, but to heal their souls. Aside from her career, she’s always been one of those deeply curious souls who is always pondering, reflecting, and searching. So, when she called and told me that we were having my bachelorette in the middle of the Amazon in Peru, I can’t say I was entirely surprised. I mean, we’re in our thirties and going to Vegas is so overdone. Besides, we’re all about different types of experiences— the kind that can literally take you out of this world and into the universe.

What is Ayahuasca?

They say Ayahuasca calls upon your spirit to meet her. And, who is she? She’s a plant that’s made into a brew with a few other plants that are all native to the Amazon rainforest. The indigenous people of South America have been using ‘Mother Ayahuasca’ for centuries as a medicine, and shamans even use this brew today. It’s created with other plants and vines that contain the hallucinogen dimethyltryptamine, or DMT, which is why the experience is so psychedelic, illuminating and so widely controversial. It is legal in Peru, and some other parts of South America, though the rest of the world isn’t as obliging.

Nothing can really prepare you for the spiritual shit storm that Mama Aya brings upon you. Nothing can really prepare you for the spiritual shit storm that Mama Aya brings upon you.



Before Mama Aya

The flight from Mumbai was a long one, and took almost two days in travel time, which included four plane changes in Dubai, Dallas, Miami, and Lima, until I finally reached Iquitos, a Peruvian port city. After another hour-and-a-half rickshaw ride through the small, winding dirt roads of the Amazon, we finally ended up at a spiritual center called Nihue Rao—a camp comprised of huts in the middle of a heavily forested and secluded area. Upon arriving, I can tell you that I was nowhere near prepared for what was in store. Sure, I ready from a tactical standpoint; I followed the Ayahuasca diet strictly for a month before my trip, I didn’t drink any alcohol, and I used completely organic and natural products, but nothing can really prepare you for the spiritual shit storm that Mama Aya brings upon you and everyone else in your vicinity. Everybody feeds off of each other’s energies in the room, and it is nothing short of phenomenal.

We were there for a total of seven days, which allowed us to partake in four ceremonies through the week. The rituals started at around 8pm and trickled into the wee hours of the next morning, leaving us all craving for apples and water at 3am while we laid on our mats in the middle of the maloca recovering from one of the craziest rollercoasters of our lives. The maloca was essentially a big circular hut with a cone-shaped roof that accommodated about 25 of us for ceremonies.

While my best friend and I travelled there together, we quickly befriended other people there and immediately felt a sense of comfort. For those that are first-timers, hearing stories about others’ experiences is the only thing that will ease your worry and panic before Mama Ayahuasca comes and rocks your world. Worrying is part of my nature, and the thought of not being in control of my thoughts and feelings was frightening. It’s almost like anticipating bungee jumping off of a cliff. Except with a bungee jump, it’s over in like, five seconds. The effects of Ayahuasca last a minimum of four hours, but the long-term effects of it will most definitely last a lifetime.

My intentions on that day were simple – Open mind, open heart. My intentions on that day were simple – Open mind, open heart.



Our group consisted of people from all walks of life—couples that were looking to strengthen their spiritual connection, cancer survivors, individuals who were healing from heart-wrenching divorces, recovering addicts, some who struggled with their sexual identity, and others like me who needed some sort of spiritual intervention to work through deeply-rooted stress and anxiety. For me, this stress and anxiety caused me to struggle with being present. I would also be lying if I said I was completely fine with my upcoming nuptials. I was a nervous wreck about my marriage and the only explanation I had for it was that the death of my soulmate six years ago that had made me fear love and attachment. I’ve seen how quickly things can change, and how out of control we are when it comes to the agenda of the universe. I needed Ayahuasca to help me so I could be an open and fearlessly loving partner.

Meeting the big Mama

The first ceremony was the easiest out of the four. I say easiest, because I wasn’t quite sure what I was even anticipating. After drinking the bitter liquid, I sat on my mattress and patiently waited while everyone else took their turn to drink their dose of magic. Next to my mattress, there was my trusty puke bucket, a bottle of water, a flashlight so I could navigate around the maloca if needed, a tiny Ganesh statue, and my donut pillow for cuddling support. Of course, my best friend was right next to me in case I thought I was dying and needed reassurance that I was still alive.

As soon as everyone including the shamans drank the Ayahuasca, we all waited in complete silence in the dark for the shamans to start singing the icaros—songs that are supposed to channel the energies. Basically, the shamans are singing to the medicine inside of you based on an intention that you set with them prior to the ceremony. My intentions on that day were simple – Open mind, open heart. And I chanted these words to myself anytime I felt that wave of anxiety come over me.

I was the first one to puke on that first day, and as soon as I let go, the people around me started vomiting one by one, creating an unfortunate orchestra of heaves, gurgles, and burps. The medicine is supposed to cleanse you, and this kind of release only means that Mama Ayahuasca has started her work. I was overwhelmed with emotions and feeling through things in my past that once consumed me. She took me on a trip down memory lane, and I saw myself as a child, as a young woman, and as the woman I am today. I could see that my experiences had led me right where I belonged in the moment, as bizarre as it may seem. I continued seeing beautiful geometric figures and facets of nature that brought me peace and comfort, while listening to the shamans’ icaros that guided me deeper into a hypnotic state. I was floating and could barely feel my body. In fact, I was convinced that I had no body. I was just there. Eventually, when I could finally peel my body off of my mattress, I ventured outside to a sitting area outside of the maloca.

I stared up at the dancing and fluttering stars that blanketed us with protection. I stumbled upon constellation after constellation that were all creations of my imagination. There was a burning sensation around my heart that I could see radiating in lovely colours from my chest. I placed my ice-cold hands against my breastbone to cool down and allow myself to release the heaviness I felt.

The second day was way more challenging than the first. The first ceremony was like the honeymoon period of my relationship with Mama Aya. She had simply brushed me with some of her magic and then ebbed back into a place of mystery. You see, every experience with Ayahuasca brings something different and I was not prepared for the unrest I felt in my spirit the next day. I couldn’t bring myself to surrender to the medicine because I was too fixated on my surroundings. I was too cold at one point, and then I was too hot; I couldn’t get my pillow in a comfortable position; the maloca kept creaking behind me; my puke bucket fell at the bottom of my mattress, so I was even more uncomfortable. Things just kept going haywire. I couldn’t find peace within myself because things were just too psychedelic to even deal with. The floor beneath my mattress looked as if a gaping black hole had opened up into the earth beneath me. I was floating above it on a magic mattress ride. To be completely honest, I was tripping the hell out. I saw ants coming out of colourful mandalas and finally had to be taken outside because the icaros were making things way more intense. I stepped out and just stared at the stars so I could feel rooted once again.

I was floating and could barely feel my body. I was floating and could barely feel my body.



It was only obvious that Ayahuasca was trying to teach me a lesson in letting go, and once I made a decision to surrender, things were slightly more blissful for me. I finished the night feeling overcome with love and longing for my soon- to-be husband. I was at finally at ease and Ayahuasca seemed to have balled up my negativity and self-doubt and thrown it into a rubbish pile that was set into flames. Those feelings were no longer serving me.

The third day I made a decision not to drink Ayahuasca. I wanted to experience the ceremony without the medicine and process some of the things that had come up in the past two nights. Besides, I wasn’t quite ready to delve further into myself. I observed how others were reacting to the medicine initially, and finally drifted into meditation with the icaros sung by the shamans. I could still feel the energies of the others in the room and the thumping rain and thunder made it even more surreal. It rained for the exact time that the ceremony went on, making it seem like the rain came down specifically to bless us.

The fourth and final ceremony was one where I was hesitant, but finally YOLO-ed myself into drinking my last dose of Ayahuasca during that trip. I felt nothing but love on the last day and immense gratitude for everything I had gone through that week, including my best friend who essentially brought me to the middle of the Amazon. I cried until my eyes were bloodshot red, my shirt was wet and my face, puffy. I went outside and looked into the vast forest before me and saw what I could only describe as dragon flies and forest nymphs attempting to show me little bit of their light. I even connected with another soul sister from across the globe by way of a white owl in the middle of the forest. This was the realest and the most connected I have ever felt.

***

I’ve heard stories and seen documentaries where people have terrible experiences with Ayahuasca and in retrospect; my best friend and I did do something many would find pretty risky. Our positive experience was very much the result of the centre we chose and the people we happened to bump into during our journeys. Open dialogues about previous ceremonies and others’ stories constantly buzzed around us, allowing us to understand and introspect. We were all connected in that maloca, and we all got to know each other through our individual energies, which is what made the experience so damn special.

Ayahuasca strips you nude from the inside out until you’re completely exposed. It peels back the layers that we create over our own souls that hide our deepest and darkest insecurities. Only then does she actually start healing. So if you’re ever lost in Peru and want to venture deep into the Amazon to find yourself, visit Nihue Rao and have the shamans serenade you after a tiny dose of magic.