IX.

**Barry Switzer goes for it on fourth down—twice **

In a perfect world, Dallas Cowboys head coach Barry Switzer would never have drunk his way to a Super Bowl XXX title with a brilliant Cowboys roster (assembled by his predecessor, Jimmy Johnson) dragging his booze-soaked corpse along for the ride. That way, we could've included on this list Cowboys owner Jerry Jones's horrific decision to hire him. Instead, we'll have to settle for Switzer going for it on fourth-and-one from his own twenty-nine-yard line late in a tie game against Philly, watching Emmitt Smith get stuffed, and then running the same exact goddamn play after the refs gifted Switzer with a replay of the down (as if to say, "No, really, you should punt. You're too drunk"). The best part is hearing TV announcer John Madden get pissed, because you pretty much have to stab a baby if you want to get Madden to criticize you. "THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!"