Adidas’ NEMEZIZ infomercial is a gift.

If you haven’t seen the cross-promotional ad posted by Danielle Colaprico, Katie Johnson, and Morgan Brian yet, here, be blessed.

#NEMEZIZ unlocks agility so you don’t have to fake! Call me at 1-833-NEM-EZIZ. Serious inquiries only. @adidassoccer pic.twitter.com/AeQNHdYZql — Danielle Colaprico (@dannycolaprico) May 7, 2019

An Adidas ad that features real soccer players, talking about a real product, through a medium that is often not taken seriously - The Infomercial. It’s complete with real soccer player testimonials laid over exaggerated footage of flopping and diving.

First of all, the timing of this ad features Katie Johnson and her Red Stars teammates after their match last Friday, where Johnson was issued a controversial red card after being called for a foul on a goal kick. Granted, this type of ad was likely mapped out, filmed, and edited months before that, but still, what timing.

It also comes complete with faux criticizing of other pro soccer players - specifically male soccer players - who might “Fake injuries to substitute for actual athletic ability,” as the ad states. It aims at how those same players will no longer have to “fake it” if they are equipped with the new NEMEZIZ.

There is so much going in this ad, and yet not enough? It’s 30 seconds of pure content, courtesy of three Chicago Red Stars players who happen to be Adidas Athletes, and of course, it deserves to be broken down and analyzed.

The overall message of the ad has a tone that’s equal parts friendly banter perhaps and a call out to other players who don’t have to embellish fouls or “fake it,” while specifically spliced over images of what looks like Men attempting to play soccer but rather faking injury instead.

Adidas also does a fantastic job of introducing the players within the ad, and Danielle Colaprico has now perhaps reached Chicago Legend Meme Status ala Former Bear, Spice Adams after her “Heh. Ima real Soccer Player” intro.

That’s not to negate the intro to Katie Johnson, who was brilliantly introduced as “Also a soccer player” while standing in front of a watermarked image that was not unfamiliar to those of us who produce Women’s Soccer content, especially those remarkably talented NWSL photographers out there who constantly have their work reshared without credit despite full watermarks visible.

While still very much an Ad, the brief video also features the new cleats in between the brilliant acting. Spliced with bits of soccer flair, suggesting if you use the shoe with its featured tension tape, it will assist you in an effort to stop faking and have fantastic soccer skills instead.

After the flash of said skill, a huge phone number flashes across the screen, while the NEMEZIZ boot is being used as phone. Like an actual, old school, landline type of phone where you are literally punching a keypad to dial someone. Johnson lets you know if you order now you don’t just get one, but two shoes.

But perhaps the greatest bit of this Adidas ad is the fact that it is interactive. Yes, that phone number that flashes across the screen is an actual working number. One that leads you to have a brief, pre-recorded interaction with one of the players of your choice.

You can actually dial the number and be delighted in hearing just some of the following:

“Every second you spend crying fake tears? Is another second you can spend playing a real game.” - Morgan Brian

“Ok, so maybe you went down a little too easily for the free kick, but now you’re feeling guilty. That’s not you.” - Katie Johnson

“You don’t wanna hit the ground crying fake tears. Wah. Wah.” - Danielle Colaprico

While those are just some of the pre-recorded phrases depending on the player you select to interact with, you’re eventually given an option that leads to a promo code for 15% off by using the selected players’ last name, which, pay women’s pro soccer players to infinity please. And give us more fun content just showing woso players being people, making phone calls on their shoes and roasting floppers. It’s what we deserve.