What a time to be a lipreader. First we had the row between Theresa May and the European commission president, Jean-Claude Juncker, in Brussels. Then on Wednesday we had those frenzied attempts to make out whether Jeremy Corbyn muttered “stupid woman” or “stupid people” to himself during prime minister’s questions.

Oh dear. There really are bigger fish to fry than this. We are living through the biggest national crisis in living memory, with 98 days to go until Brexit. Around 3,500 troops are on standby, and may be required to keep public order and distribute food in the event of Britain crashing out of the European Union without a deal. People have emailed me to demand that MPs sit over Christmas to vote on May’s unloved deal.

On Wednesday a homeless man died at the entrance to parliament and the universal credit fiasco is blighting the lives of the poor and vulnerable. So the circus that unfolded in the House of Commons that day really wasn’t a good look. The mother of parliaments too often resembles a madhouse, particularly during prime minister’s questions.

The truth is that this weekly bout of gladiatorial combat is so unedifying that many female MPs frequently stay away, me included. I was doing a Q&A with a visiting local primary school when this latest nonsense erupted. But sometimes, in the needlessly aggressive atmosphere the ritual generates, lines really are crossed and incredibly ugly stuff goes on. A year after being elected I was shocked to hear the words “Go home, Paki” uttered by a male Tory MP when Yasmin Qureshi questioned Theresa May. A complaint was made but not upheld as the words had not been caught by the Commons Hansard transcribers.

‘A year after being elected I was shocked to hear the words ‘go home, Paki’ uttered by a male Tory MP when Yasmin Qureshi questioned Theresa May.’ Photograph: Howard/ANL/REX/Shutterstock

Moments like that are too easily dismissed as the “rough and tumble” of Westminster, so you learn to tough it out. But the holier-than-thou attitude adopted by the Conservatives after yesterday’s incident is laughably hypocritical, especially from the point of view of any BAME MP. After all, a Conservative MP who had the whip removed after using a racist expression was quietly welcomed back into the fold by the party last year. Another, who was found to have sent 2,000 sex texts to two barmaids, had the whip restored just in time to allow him to back May’s botched deal. Churchill’s grandson and Tory grandee Nicholas Soames was captured making woofing noises at SNP MP Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh in the last parliament.

Our constituents are baffled by such behaviour. Tory MPs might have enjoyed yesterday’s high jinks, but their energy would be better expended persuading their leader to find a navigable way out of the extraordinary crisis we are living through.

• Rupa Huq is Labour MP for Ealing Central and Acton