





Every now and then, you are pleasantly surprised when someone tells you about a movie you missed that looks good. This is not that time, because this is a review of Spanish film maker, Paul Nashy’s "Werewolf and the Yeti". Where the first question that comes to mind is..where the f**k is the yeti!?!





I admit to some confusion in the beginning of the movie, but I was distracted. Unfortunately, I’m easily distracted (but instead of chasing butterflies I chase something cool like lions). So, I decided to rewind it and try again. This is probably the only time in my memory where rewinding to understand a film better actually made it worse ( not counting 2001 A Space Odyssey because no one knows what the heck that one is about..ending anyone? Go ahead I’ll wait).





So, I will tell you what I saw, then I’ll tell you what the IMDB website claims it’s about. A professor and his daughter want to head an expedition up the Himalayas to find a Yeti. They reach out to renowned adventurer, Waldemar. Who is so renowned that he gets himself lost in the first five minutes, wandering endlessly till he stumbles on an old monastery, which in this movie clearly doubles as a den of iniquity.🙄 (don’t email mean letters about that description, I didn’t write this movie, but I do know who did, I’ll tell you after. He is renowned after all)











In the monastery there is a bunch of naked women.🤔 The head naked lady decides to have carnal knowledge of the ill man, then decides his lovemaking is so renowned that he will make a good werewolf🙄👀. Lord save me from his awesomeness.





So he turns into a werewolf, attacking the Sherpa guides and a jerk or two of the professors crew. I think so anyway, because, really, insanity was breaking out. I had to shake the crazy off me when it was done. The Sherpa guides think it’s a demon and the professor is wondering if a Yeti could do such a thing! And again I’m yelling what beeping Yeti!?! I don’t see a Yeti anywhere! Do you?





All the crew scatters and Waldemar the Great is a man again and stumbles on to the professor’s daughter. They find shelter. And the man that shelters him tells him what to do to end his curse. So of course while they wait out the dawn he sleeps with the daughter. He is great in the sack after all, people, and she discovers his secret. And all I’m thinking is "Why are all the women running around naked in Tibet?!" Is no one cold? I mean this literally, all the women were naked!





While the marvelous adventurer and the professors daughter head out to find her father and any of the crew left alive and his cure, they are kidnapped. People, if you need an adventure guide I don’t think he’s the right choice. I could do a better job. They take them to their lair that they named something I can’t pronounce but sounded just like Chaka Khan. Sooo, I’m not gonna lie here, I lost what was happening because I broke out into..”Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan. Let me rock you Chaka Khan let me rock you Chaka Khan Let me rock you it’s all I want to do.” Well you get the idea. When I came back from my solo performance, the evil naked ladies were overthrown, Hollywood ending or Spanish ending in this case took over. And still I said to myself, "I want my freakin Yeti!! I sat through this whole movie for a Yeti!!" Maybe I missed it when I started singing and dancing in the middle there. You can watch and let me know if you find it.





So that is my version and I’m sticking to it.. but officially the description is as follows:





An expedition to the Himalayas leads to frightening encounters with Werewolves, Cannibalistic Vampire Witches (AKA the naked chicks) and the legendary Yeti. (My ass a Yeti)











Memorable line:





“What do you think Ralph? Is it a Yeti?”





“It looks like a bipedal that has structure and characteristics of a man, but at the same time the thumb doesn’t grip like the rest of the fingers. And the claw marks make me think it’s an enormous canine.”





Well Ralph that’s because it’s a Werewolf!! There is no freakin Yeti!!!!!’







Thanks to Killbotwrathwrought of the Cryptophiles for the movie suggestion..it was a blog waiting to happen..





Notable info:





This movie was banned in the UK by the BBFC in 1984. It was listed on the video nasties list. Still unavailable to purchase in the UK to this day. (Not because it was ridiculous but probably the naked chicks and the renowned lovemaking).





The British band The Damned, whom I love recorded a song called "Video Nasties" which they preformed on one of my favorite shows The Young Ones..”up yours Neil”..





I do believe writer and star Paul Nashy has passed away..soo any complaints you have well..sorry





Soundtrack to this blog:





Chaka Khan, I Feel for You

https://youtu.be/hX9E44mClKs

The Damned, Video Nasty as see on The Young Ones

https://youtu.be/J2H_7LY5LqM





The Werewolf and the Yeti from Youtube

https://youtu.be/Trob49OHqsQ