Once upon a time, in the town of Trottingham, there was a university. In that university there were two freshfilly. This is their story.



---



Once again, it was sunrise. Golden Harvest rolled out of her bed (literally) and was greeted by a swift breeze of fruit and ethanol as the door opened and a lilac figure strolled in. She put everything she could grab in front of her eyes and snout, but that thin blanket was no match for Princess Celestia's light nor her roommate's alcoholic tendencies.



"Goldilocks, you coming tonight?" said the cloud of sugar and perfume as it fell over on top of Golden Harvest in the least comfortable manner possible. "I heard the varsity flying team's going to be there. It'll be epic. I can't wait to---HURCK!!!!!"



Once again, it was sunrise. For the twenty-sixth time since the start of her college career four weeks ago, Golden Harvest woke up with strawberry-flavored rainbow-vomit all over her face. Should've stayed on the farm, she thought for the twenty-sixth time, get married to a nice farm colt and live a normal carrot farmer's life like momma and her momma before her. This was just not what college should be like.



---



"The second bucket was unnecessary," Berry said as she dripped across the campus of Trottingham University. "Really, Goldie, you could have just poked me with your hoof."



"I tried for ten minutes," her golden maned pony retorted, "before I got the first bucket. And once I emptied that one on your head you just puked into the empty bucket and fell asleep."



"Well, thank you, at least, for not dumping my own vomit on me."



"If you want to thank me, stop calling me Goldilocks."



"But why?" Berry Punch knew why, but she was hungover and felt the need to be a prodding bitch, "it's adorable and it suits you and you luscious, lovely golden mane." To irritate her roommate even more Berry decided to stroke her mane with a wet hoof.



"I hate the stupid name," Golden Harvest said as she batted the moist appendage away, "and anything that it shortens to is even more stupid."



"Your mane is the color of a fully grown grain field and your special talent is farming, honey, what did you expect?"



"I expected something less stupid."



"That's not very helpful. Hey, listen, are you coming to Blues' party? Everypony noteworthy's going to be there."



"Why do you care who's there? You'll just pass out drunk anyway."



"It's important to know that I can pass out drunk in the hooves of a studly colt," Berry's face was serious for the first time in weeks, "or a good friend."



"Fiiiiiine " Golden Harvest made a rather long face, even for an equine, "as long as you don't call me---"



---



"Goldilocks!" "Hey, it's the Golden Mare!" "Goldie, how's it going?"



"I hate you." Golden Harvest did her best "I hate you" face. It was almost on par with the "I hate you" face she gave when Berry emptied her fridge last week.



"Lighten up, Gold---OOF---UMM---okay, okay, Golden Harvest. Now please stop putting your hooves in my mouth unless you cover them with wine first, please. That's a really stupid name, you know, Golden Harvest. It's just so unwieldy."



"That is why I hate it. And you. For bringing me here."



"Well it's going to be a lot better if you start drinking. Here, have a Maregarita." Berry Punch grabbed a nice little glass of fruity beverage and handed it to her friend. "Cheers, to stupid names."



"To stupid names."



And thus, Golden Harvest consumed her first alcoholic beverage.



---



"ANOTHER," the mare shouted as she slams the plastic cup on to the ground, "YOUR FAIR MANED PONY WITH A STUPID NAME DEMANDS ANOTHER FRUITY ICEY BEVERAGE GARNISHED WITH A LITTLE CHERRY!"



And thus, Golden Harvest consumed her seventh alcoholic beverage.



---



"I HATE MY NAME, BERRY PUNCH! WHY CAN'T I HAVE A DIFFERENT NAME?! AND STOP DRINKING THAT. GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE. ME. DRINK. NOW. BERRY. I WILL PUNCH YOU. FOR YOUR DRRRRRIIIIIIINKIEWINKIEILOVEYOUSOMUCH."



And thus, Golden Harvest lost count.



---



Berry Punch was no longer the life of the party.



Everypony at the party---especially the cute colts---were gathered around the new filly who has never been to a college party before. She took over the punch bowl that Berry was so fond of. Damn Goldilocks was chugging spiked punch out of the bowl! At least Berry had the grace of using a ladle to scoop from the bowl to her mouth!



If there was only a way for me to get back into the heart of things again, Berry mused. Drinking was her destiny. That's how she got her cutie mark: she accidentally drank fermented grape and strawberry juice! That's her special talent, and now carrot butt is somehow doing better than her? That did not sit well with Berry. But there was no longer any punch left because Goldie drank it all. How could she outdrink her roommate without more alcohol?



She looked out a window, longingly at the moon. And then she remembered the legend that she had forgotten because she hasn't been sober since she heard it until now.



---



"Behold, fillies and gentlecolt, for I, Berry Punch, shall drink from this cauldron!"



At this point, Golden Harvest was dancing upside down on three tables stacked on top of each other. Berry, even with a magical loudspeaker, could not have gathered their attention. However, the smell of what was in the cauldron did that for her.



"It's "



"Yes, I have found the forbidden Nightmare Moonshine, locked away in the underground unicorn fraternities of the University; the mythical brew that can even knock Princess Celestia out in one sip is mine, and I will drink it!"



As she finished her sentence and silence filled the air, Berry Punch lifted a ladle and was just about to dip it into the elixir when the entire building shook from a rainbow-colored shockwave coming from the direction of Cloudsdale. The cauldron was knocked over and on to Berry, encasing her in over ten cubic meters of magically distilled spirit. Golden Harvest, drunk from her own supply of tasty alcohol, yelled "I WILL SAVE YOU!" and flew across the room (not literally, because she's an earth pony) and knocked the exceptionally heavy cauldron off her roommate.



Magically, all the Nightmare Moonshine was gone. Berry Punch's eyes grew bright with unicorn magic and, before anypony could speak, she opened her mouth.



And she puked all over Golden Harvest again.



---



The events following that moment were widely debated among the party attendees, mostly due to the fact that everypony was drunk off the moonshine fumes. The most widely believed version, though, went something like this:



As Berry Punch passed the last of the impurities of her body away, she stood upright and the clouds opened up. A pony wearing a white sheet and an olive leaf crown, with a cutie mark shaped like a bottle of wine, emerged from the heavens themselves and in a booming voice he declared,



BERRY PUNCH. YOU HATH DRANK WHAT WOULD KILL A GOD AND YOU HATH SURVIVED. WE PONIES OF MOUNT OLYMBUS SALUTE YOUR BRAVE DEEDS. I, THE MIGHTY BACCUS AND THE PONY GOD OF WINE AND DEBAUCHERY, GRANT THEE THE NAME OF BERRYSHINE, AND THIS HORN, WHICH IS A PHALLIC SYMBOL FOR MAREIZING WHICH I ALSO DO. GO FORTH AND DRINK, FAIR MARE, AND BE MERRY!!!



"But wait, Baccus, I'm a mare. And I like colts. I don't want a phallic sym---"



FINE I WILL MAKE IT A MAGICAL ONE THAT ONLY SHOWS UP WHEN YOU ARE REALLY DRUNK OKAY?



And then he disappeared, leaving the party a dozen cases of bad box wine that everypony promptly consumed.



---



And that is how Berryshine got her name.



---



Epilogue



The morning after, everypony woke up, hungover and vomiting rainbows and cupcakes all over the floor. As usual, the rainbows and cupcakes magically disappeared after a while.



But the vomit that was on Golden Harvest didn't.



Indeed, the magical glop that Berryshine ejected was a completely different matter. Unlike normal pony vomit, it was green? And it seemed to have stuck to Golden Harvest's mane and tail.



"Hey, Goldie?"



"Stoooop call---"



"No, Goldie, take a look," Berryshine said while handing the sleepy Golden Harvest a mirror, "your mane."



"It's green."



"Yeah. I guess your name doesn't work anymore."



"No."



"Hm. Maybe I'll call you Carrot Top?"



"Sure. Whatever. Just get me two buckets of water?"



"Sure thing, Carrot Top!"