The Left has packed an awful lot of crazy into the days since Donald Trump defeated Hillary Clinton in the presidential election. (Should there have been a trigger warning in front of that sentence?)

Here are the top five in no particular order. Wait, strike that — let’s say one of the middle ones is the very top example of liberal lunacy, either Three or Four, take your pick, and the one listed first is the least important of the five, in order to keep the crazy theme going. Also, be prepared for ALL CAPS to erupt in the following post at any moment.

1. Cry-Ins: They really did hold a “cry-in” at Cornell University. They got together and wept in the quad, sobbing about how “terrifying” Trump’s victory was. They scrawled their heartbreak upon the pavement with colored chalk. There was shock and awwwww.

Adults, presumably including some faculty members, appeared on the scene, but strangely none of them told the kids to grow up, which really should enrage the university’s alumni and donors. The Wall Street Journal said school staff were “providing tissues and hot chocolate” to the emotional exhibitionists. It’s not good at all when absurdly expensive institutions of higher learning churn out students who can’t deal with the results of an election, and it is very much the fault of liberal-dominated academia that it’s come to this. They did it on purpose, as part of the great liberal project to make childhood a permanent condition.

It’s also alarming that they invest so much of their personal value and spiritual energy into politics. One adult on the scene, who looked like a professor to the Cornell Sun’s reporters, said the cry-in was “an indication that there are many many people who are suffering and feel that haven’t been heard and they believe that Trump will answer their needs.” If you’re waiting for any politician to “answer your needs,” YOU’RE WHAT’S WRONG WITH AMERICA, KIDS. (I warned you about the caps.)

Columnist Mark Steyn offered an interesting observation about the”special snowflake meltdown”: their “knowledge of history is so scant that hitherto they had no idea America wasn’t a one-party state and that once every decade or so the other guy gets to win.” That’s funny, but it’s also alarming. It’s very unhealthy to not only assume political victories are permanent, but to become so convinced your ideology has a lock on power that you’re emotionally incapable of dealing with the discovery you were wrong.

2. Therapy Dogs: “Pettable pooches” were trotted out to schoolchildren in New York, as the New York Post reported. This is, once again, sending all the wrong signals about the nature of elections and responsible citizenship.

Also, a letter from school administrators admitted that the faculty had backed Clinton, and “our students brought a great deal of emotion, anxiety, and strong feelings” to the election results. Are we allowed to ask how much of that load of emotion and anxiety was deposited in the minds of students by their political-activist teachers?

Therapy dogs weren’t just for small children. They were brought in to comfort university students and (more-or-less) grown-up Democratic staffers on Capitol Hill, too. At least some of them have the excuse that they may lose their jobs, because their bosses were defeated in the election. Then again, everyone who goes to work for an elected representative should be prepared for the possibility they won’t be re-elected.

3. Safety Pins: Safety pins swiftly became the new badge of aggrieved loser status, accompanied by the kind of social-media hashtag campaign the Obama Administration would occasionally substitute for foreign policy.

Safety pins are supposed to identify the wearer as an island of safety and tolerance for “women, LGBT people, immigrants, and people of color feeling frightened by Trump’s presidency and vitriol that some of his supporters display,” as New York Magazine put it.

That’s good to know, because singer Lady Gaga assures us women are “fighting for their lives” after Trump’s electoral victory. Now they know they can run to the nearest safety pin when the Trumpian death squads come for them. (Note: expecting a man wearing a safety pin to protect you from an actual physical menace is probably unwise. Far better to look for an NRA pin, ladies.)

The safety pin is perhaps the ultimate example of “virtue signaling,” the Left’s passive-agressive technique of adopting political postures to signal personal virtue, while accusing everyone else of moral inferiority. In case you safety pinheads haven’t noticed, it isn’t Trump supporters that have been staging violent riots or issuing threats to rape the new First Lady. (On the other hand, it might be unfair to call the rioters “Clinton voters,” since it turns out most of the ringleaders didn’t bother to vote at all.)

Quick question: how many times do you have to Tweet under the #RapeMelania hashtag before you’re not allowed to wear a safety pin any more?

The safety pin is a shiny little incarnation of the Left’s ridiculous binary political argument—you either support them 100%, or you’re an intolerant monster who wants the oppressed to drop dead. IT’S NOT WORKING, KIDS. Normal people don’t wish to attempt enlightened discourse with people who think dissent is immoral.

4. Open Letters: The first wave of post-election open letters were, appropriately, addressed to children, but Hollywood’s Jeffrey Katzenberg at least managed to write one without using grade school kids as props.

It’s still dripping with the sort of condescension that got liberals creamed in 2016 (“During the election, Donald Trump found facts inconvenient. But facts are very useful things.”) However, Katzenberg acknowledged that Trump has been “gracious in victory,” and asked his fellow Democrats to consider showing a little grace themselves (“Throwing down the bat and leaving the park is not an option.”)

Self-awareness has its limits, as Katzenberg spends a great deal of time railing against “demagogues,” without noticing that his political leaders haven’t said much to stop the political violence from anti-Trump forces. He also continues the Hollywood Left’s effort to claim the mantle of “tolerance” and free speech, which will sound hilarious to any Hollywood conservative.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo wrote an open letter declaring the election to be a “heartbreaking and bewildering and indeed frightening” experience, haunted by “the voices of the Ku Klux Klan, white nationalism, authoritarianism, misogyny and xenophobia,” not to mention “a generally disdainful view of American ideals.”

The most infamous open letter was probably the one GrubHub CEO Matt Maloney wrote to his employees, demanding the resignation of anyone who agreed with the “nationalist, anti-immigrant and hateful politics of Donald Trump.” Maloney is now furiously scribbling open letters that insist his previous open letter didn’t say what it plainly said.

Many of these open letters are another form of virtue-signaling, and a standing accusation against non-left-wing America for things it hasn’t actually done. Also, there’s a consistent undercurrent of rationalization for Hillary Clinton’s defeat, a recurring theme that she was robbed of deserved victory by an opponent who played foul. Why, we could “fix” democracy if only people with unacceptable political views were stripped of the right to vote!

5. Clinton Victory Fantasies: A few distraught lefties have floated outright assassination fantasies or implied threats of insurrection, but most of them are smart enough to stay away from rhetoric that could get them investigated by the Secret Service.

Much more stylish are the flights of fancy that the electoral system can be torn down and rebuilt to liberal tastes. Wild fantasies of a dramatic eleventh-hour reversal that bars Trump from the White House have become op-ed safety blankets. A full-blown temper tantrum against the Electoral College is currently in progress, with overtones of how the Left decided midterm elections were archaic nonsense after they got crushed in 2010 and 2014.

The favored nook-nook of the hour for emotionally devastated liberals is a meaningless petition to sweep the Electoral College aside right now and install Hillary Clinton as President, based on popular vote totals.

Before that, some liberals suckled on complaints that FBI Director James Comey TOTALLY STOLE THE ELECTION FROM CLINTON, but that one seems to have died out quickly. Democrats spent the last few days before the election praising Comey as Captain America because he re-closed the email server investigation without changing his position on indictments. Turning him back into the Red Skull is a bit too much whiplash for even the more mentally flexible liberals. (Also, they might find themselves agreeing with people on the Right who were critical of Comey’s conduct every step of the way, and we can’t have that.)

Looking ahead, the next liberal craze will be insisting that President Trump HAS NO MANDATE and cannot govern in any way, at least not without the unanimous approval of the few remaining Democrats in high public office. Republicans usually fall for that sort of thing, but this one probably won’t.

Liberals will resort to ever more deranged acts of political exhibitionism to reinforce their sense of superiority, sow fear among the populace, and win media attention away from the first Republican in ages who can consistently steal their spotlight. Strap in (or tighten your straitjacket buckles, as the case may be) for a wild ride.