An Open Letter to the Abused:

Hey. First I want to say I am sorry. I am sorry for what happened to you. I am sorry you are hurting. I get it. I was abused too and it's painful and traumatizing. It's not fair and it's not ok. I want you to know that it's not your fault. I don't care what your abuser said to you, they are a liar! Your abuse is not your fault and you didn't deserve it.

The nights you lie awake thinking about what happened, the isolation it brings feeling so alone in your pain, and the slew of physical symptoms that rear their ugly heads as you try to cope with the overwhelming mental anguish. I get it. I understand how much it hurts when your loved ones don't know what to say so they give you surface level answers that do more harm than good or when they flat out don't believe you. I get it and I believe you.

You are not damaged goods and you are not broken beyond repair. I remember someone once said that a wrinkled dollar bill is worth just as much as a clean and crisp one.

If you are shattered take your broken pieces and make a mosaic. You are worth it and no amount of abuse can change that. No one can change that. You can't even change that. Even if you believe horrible things about yourself it doesn't change the fact that you are worth it. That is a FACT. It is not something you can argue against.

You are awesome. You are talented. Live your life to the fullest and be kind and gentle to yourself. Do not be hard on yourself because you don't need any more of that. Treat yourself with the utmost respect.

You are a survivor. You made it and survived! That is no small feat. Love and cherish yourself because you have been through so much already. Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to not be ok. You are in control of your life now and you can choose how to treat yourself.

You are unique with a unique story. You can do whatever you want with your story. You can shout it from the mountain tops, or whisper it to a friend or not tell it at all. The choice is completely up to you.

I get it. I understand the irrational fears of day to day life that seep in from the past. I understand how the past has a way of latching on and not letting go. I understand how many people do not sympathize with this and peg you as being "over-dramatic." I have also heard the words, "Just let go of the past," and "Why can't you just move on?" I have felt the weight of those words as they were spoken out of the mouths of family members and friends.

You are amazing and strong. You are going to make it and you are going to find your place in this crazy world and you are going to thrive. You have survived horrors that would make most people crumble and yet here you are. Do not shrug this off. You have done an amazing thing by surviving. As you heal you will take back bits and pieces of yourself and you will start to see the beauty of life again even if it just comes in glimpses.

So as much as you can, be at ease knowing you persisted in the face of immense hardship and won because here you are. Claim the prize that is rightfully yours piece by piece: happiness.

Love,

Another abuse survivor.

P.S. If you are still in an abusive situation then get help. There is a better life for you out there beyond this. You deserve love and kindness and respect.