The day finally came where my morals were fully restored. The ways I would talk, act and just be were no longer appealing to me. To be honest, they were starting to repulse me. Seeing other people behavior in these manners strike a chord in me that was not there before. Not while the drugs were still swirling around my mind, clouding my spirit. Those were dark days, my mind becoming an enemy rather than an identity. It seemed as if the darkness could dig its way deeper and deeper into my life, affecting every area of it with its ashy, soot covered claws. I was literally a shell of the woman I used to be. Filled with sorrow and hate, my only desire was to get out of my head with the aid of substances cultivated by the devil himself. Receding deeper and deeper into the abyss of my mind, I shunned away my family and my true friends. Isolated myself by being surrounded by strangers.

How many times must one utter this false response before they realize that no, they are not fine, and it’s not ok? It almost as repetition would make it reality, but the only reality was that my life was in complete and total darkness. Living in sin and doing great harm to one’s physical body and psyche. Our body is our temple, how did so many people forget this? This is an especially heartfelt warning to the woman who are lost, our bodies and reproductive systems are precious. We must nurture and care for them. Cycles of parties and drugs, ingredients unknown and dangerous, are destroying our minds and our organs. It is really the time to step up and decide to cleanse yourself. Cleanse yourself of all the darkness that is eating away at your chance for redemption. Nothing you have done has to go unforgiven. You can turn your will, your darkness, your past and your traumas over to God. He is waiting, and He has already forgiven you through his son, our Lord, Jesus Christ. Form a bond with Him, a relationship with Him. Confess your sins and your thought to Him, speak to him out loud or within your mind. Talk to Him and ask Him for advice, as you would a psychiatrist. This is the greatest chance you will ever have at a true life. Living in sin isn’t really living, it’s tormenting your body and soul in the most insidious way. It seems all fun and games at first, until your own body is fighting against you and your mind holds you prisoner. These are not exaggerations. I have been there first hand. I will link a past blog post that goes over my past regressions and situations if your curious to hear my backstory. I have forgiven myself of all the things done then. I became a new person when I found myself and confessed to Christ. He has opened to door too so many new opportunities in such a short time, blessings – real ones! Not cars and makeup and fancy clothes. Open your heart up to Him an you will open yourself to His blessings. It will be the best move you ever make!

Everyday Steps to Living in Christ:

Here are a few things that can help us through our ‘not okay’ moments of life:

Pour our Heart out to God. Psalm 62:8 says, “…pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” Sometimes we assume God knows everything about us so there is no point in voicing it to Him. But when we truly trust God and look to Him as our refuge in times of trouble, we will go to Him and share everything that is in our hearts—the good, the bad and the ugly—like we would a best friend. This fosters closeness and intimacy with our Heavenly Father, which then brings comfort and healing during our ‘down in the dump’ times.

Learn to be Vulnerable. Paul says, “…where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). The Holy Spirit will enable us to be vulnerable, freeing us from fear of what others might think. We will be able to admit we need others to sustain us on this road of life and in turn, we will be able to receive the love God may extend through them.

Have the Courage to Cry. John 11 records how Jesus “wept” after Mary came to him about her dead brother. Jesus wept! If the Son of God had the courage to cry, we should, too. Shedding tears can be a healthy release of emotion that can bring refreshing and renewal, turning our momentary sorrow into joy, once again.

Persevere through the Valley. Jesus says, “Every valley shall be filled…” (Luke 3:5). He brings us assurance in our lowest times that he will fill us with a fresh fullness of His Spirit and exalt us to a higher plain with Him.