If you’re a creator or have read any kind of generic inspirational quote in the last ten years, you’ll have heard that following your passion is probably the best route to not hating your job.

For the past four years, I’ve been working in esports under a wide assortment of job titles: I’ve been a writer, editor, video/GIF guy, interviewer, social media and marketing consultant, broker and a half-dozen other one-time jobs. It’s only now that I’m realizing that I’ve been doing it mostly wrong.

—

When I got into esports, I had an interest in League of Legends as a game, and saw an industry that had opportunity and potential to grow. As a journalism graduate, I had been told that my industry was essentially dead and/or dying, and well, you go where the work is.

I saw room for someone that had a formal background in storytelling while still being able to “get” all the community intangibles that makes things like The International or Evo so great. Good instincts, at least, right?

The problem is that my goals and the methods that I approached them were flawed. My primary goal getting into esports was somewhat of an amorphous mess: get a following/audience for myself, and then leverage that audience into more stability and writing opportunities. In journalism or general creative fields, followers are a safety net and help get more lucrative work (especially if you need to pitch things); the focus on this was kind of borne from a desperation to make sure I wasn’t going to be poor and struggling forever.

While it isn’t necessarily a bad thing to want attention, fame or validation from the work you produce, you cannot have that be your primary factor. If you’re constantly basing your self-worth and value off the response your work gets, you won’t be able to keep a stable mindset or consistent enough product to weather the storm that is slowly grinding out success based on a personal brand.