4. Passion

‘We are a city fuelled by passion and pride. Around every corner, incredible experiences are being crafted … by locals who share a common trait: passion.’ – STB, Passion Made Possible.

For the longest time, I thought that writing was a way to pay my mortgage.

Guess I was wrong. According to STB, I am ‘fuelled by passion’ and so are you. We are not drones grinding our lives away for that paycheck after all! We are passion ambassadors who dance our way to work, where we craft ‘incredible experiences’ out of sheer love.

What humbug. Anyone who knows Singapore would have chosen a different word. Passion has always played second fiddle to pragmatism here. This has only changed in recent years, when our policymakers suddenly realised that tax dollars and marketing gains can be reaped from passion projects. (Think Facebook. Think Razer)

So, if you nurture passion in the hopes of milking future profits, is it still passion? Or merely a sound investment?

Nobody knows, but it does sound awfully pragmatic and dispassionate to me.

5. Cohesive

What the government says: We want to build a more cohesive and caring society.

What they mean: Stop being racist, please?

In other words: Cohesive is one of those rojak terms that no one can explain. It suggests racial harmony, celebrating diversity, visiting your grandma every week, and saying good morning to your neighbours.

Of course, no one wants to acknowledge that we ‘lack’ racial harmony or don’t care for old people. So that’s how we end up with ‘cohesive’: an abstract promise to fix our problems without acknowledging the existence of said problems.

It’s another way of saying: ‘We are not racist, but we could always be more not-racist. Just saying.’

6. Dynamic

If a word makes sense in every context from Tampines to Timbuktu, it’s probably a bullshit term.

e.g. dynamic frameworks, dynamic flavours, dynamic ideas, dynamic writing style , dynamic pricing, dynamic company culture, dynamic relationships, dynamic steering, dynamic growth, dynamic learning, dynamic spirit, dynamic braking systems, dynamic conversations, etc.

Yeah. Definitely BS.

7. Core Values

Unless you’re a porn director or an apple farmer, ‘core’ should not be a part of your vocabulary.

I want to poke my eyes out whenever someone starts talking about ‘core’ values or core issues. Mainly because core values are always some six abstract nouns harvested from a stillborn motivational poster. (Innovation! Empathy! Teamwork!)

In 10 out of 10 cases, they have zero connection to what your company does, to your daily tasks, or to the tangible reality of any breathing human within a 5-mile radius. At times, the core values of ‘teamwork’ and ’empathy’ seem almost satirical when you are working alone at night, after your manager has thrown you under the bus.