I have dealt with some serious social anxiety at times and this is something I wrote about the anxiety of welcoming or keeping new things/people in your life. When you have lost so much, sometimes you’d rather just let things pass and not set yourself up for more failure. So many times I have not said anything because I was so unsure of myself and lacking confidence. Instead of facing the world I just bid it adieu.









Hi. Hello. Howdy. How’s it going?

If that’s okay to say

Sometimes I mess up salutations

I mean occasionally I am good at hellos

But I seem to be extra proficient at goodbyes

Yeah, I am really good at goodbyes.

Farewells are my specialty

Loss is pervasive, I got lots of practice.

but strangely, that’s progress.

There was a time when I could meet, fall in and out of love with, and leave you

before I ever spoke a word… to you.

what’s that called?

oh yeah, avoiding the situation and making my own convoluted story

the usual

like my garden omelette with no tomatoes, coffee, and hash browns with onions

my imagination works when it wants to

not for breakfast though

but i digress

but still don’t move on

Stationary

So ready for the letter, afraid of the content, threatening to disturbing your norms

but passive aggression works for me, because blank pages are safe

So I carry around empty notebooks and hold them close to my chest

Bleeding hearts are just metaphors

pressure won’t beat the words into submission

Words don’t like to be told what to do

they do what they want

they only stand down when it is time to block

how convenient

Just when I need the fight, they retreat.



