Today is an anniversary for whachawatchin.com. This marks my 50th unique film review on the site. I’ve done other stuff, but that’s 50 different films I’ve covered. Today also kicks off the last leg of my exploration of Marvel’s cinematic outings. By the time I’m done, I’ll have covered every feature-length theatrical release put out by the House of Ideas. So buckle up, because this last leg is the weirdest. And we start today with Howard the Duck.

But before we get into that, it’s time I finally provide a little clarification on what exactly distinguishes my “reviews” from my “re-views.” Trust me, it’s relevant.

Review vs. Re-View

Some of you may have noticed that I often label my reviews as a re-view. That indicates that I have seen the film at least twice all the way through, with one of those viewings being specifically for the purpose of writing the piece.

The reason I draw the distinction is because I believe there can be a fundamental difference between your initial reaction to a film when you’re caught up in the new experience vs. the more clinical reaction you can apply to a story you already know. On occasion, I have watched films twice in a row when writing, just so I can get a clearer view of how a film holds up to informed scrutiny. Historically, I’ve only written on a film I’ve only seen once if seeing it more than once before my deadline wasn’t feasible (e.g. it was new in theaters).

What I Thought of Howard the Duck

Now, you may notice that, despite not being a new release or posing any kind of time pressure, Howard the Duck has been posted as a Review, not a Re-View.

I want to be very clear; the only reason for that is because I outright refuse to watch this movie a second time. I had seen clips of it before, and I watched it fully once for this piece, but I will not be watching it again. I could, if I wanted to. Nothing stopped me except my own desire. I just want to be clear on where my head was when I wrote this review.

Howard the Duck is one of the single worst films I have ever seen. It may very well be the worst film I’ve watched start to finish. In the past, when faced with a film so devoid of redeeming qualities, I have simply stopped watching. But I watched Howard the Duck all the way through (albeit just the once).

I did it for completion.

I did it for science.

But most of all, I did it for YOU.

Please read on, so that my suffering will not be in vain.

Creative Direction of Howard the Duck

I encourage you to seek out an account of the production of the film. I won’t go into it here, as I just want to talk about the film, but the additional context is…enlightening. It involves George Lucas and a burning desire to put special effects before story.

The original Howard the Duck comic book is intensely satirical, with strong metafictional and existentialist strains. The books also were known to embrace outright parody of pop culture and politics.

It would be super cool if all of that was somehow relevant to this film. It’s not, but it sure would be cool.

Here’s the fundamental problem with the Howard the Duck film adaptation. The Howard the Duck comic book is satire, it’s parody, it’s an existentialist meditation on the arbitrary nature of life. The Howard the Duck film is played completely straight and has no deeper thematic content worth discussing. Instead, we get something barely resembling a plot and nothing more.

The Story of Howard the Duck

In the first scene, a scientific mishap pulls an anthropomorphic duck named Howard from his planet to Earth (specifically Cleveland). The first act of the film is just Howard wandering around and getting adjusted to Earth.

He makes a friend in Beverly Switzler, who he says from harassment when he first lands on Earth. He tries to find out what exactly happened to bring him to Earth, then realizes his source is a janitor. Howard gets a job, then loses a job. Then he fights Beverly’s band manager.

It’s a bunch of loose vignettes.

It’s only when Howard tries to return home that an overarching narrative forms. The attempt goes poorly. Instead of transporting Howard home, the attempt brings something else to Earth.

The name of this creature is (and I swear I’m not making this up) “Dark Overlord of the Universe.” A name that generic is fitting, however, as the creature is essentially a generic pop culture demon.

The rest of the film revolves around stopping the Overlord and saving Beverly (who got captured, obviously, because it’s that type of movie). Then there’s a big finale with a baffling musical number that couldn’t be any more entrenched in the ‘80s if it tried.

Characters of Howard the Duck

First, we have our titular character. You would think that an anthropomorphic martial artist duck alien would be an interesting and novel character. You would be wrong. There’s not much to the character besides duck puns. And the performance isn’t great either. Howard’s head is animatronic. The line delivery is fine, but the actual actor playing the character can’t do much because the emoting isn’t up to them. Not that there’s much emoting to do, as the script strips Howard of his trademark obnoxiousness in favor of “niceness.”

The second most important character in the film is Beverly, played by Lea Thompson. She’s one of the few highlights in the film. Maybe the only one. Her character writing is terrible, unless you’re into damsels in distress and anatidaesexuality. However, the performance is decent.

Also, Tim Robbins is in this movie. Mr. Shawshank Redemption himself plays a janitor that helps Howard and Beverly. He’s fine. He doesn’t get all that much to do.

Visuals of Howard the Duck

Howard the Duck came out in 1986, so the vast majority of effects work was practical. Generally speaking, that should help a film age more gracefully than if it had early digital effects. However, due to several production difficulties, the conventional wisdom does not hold true for Howard the Duck.

Ultimately, it comes down to one thing: the Howard rig isn’t very good. I’ve read that there were production issues that may have led to this, but that’s not really the point. In the film as it was released, the main character is portrayed by a duck animatronic with stiff, poorly emoting face and badly synced dialogue. Nothing else in the film matters all that much if your main character looks bad.

The Dark Overlord’s true form also doesn’t hold up super well, but I don’t have much to say on that. It’s more a function of the time when the movie was made.

Conclusion

Nothing would have made me happier than being able to go with a contrarian take on Howard the Duck. Not because I like being a contrarian, but because I like finding hidden value in films. I like seeing the good in even the most maligned artistic endeavors. But Howard the Duck is awful. Irredeemably so. I have no positive hot takes to give you. It’s just bad.

To be fair to the people who made it, it seems that a whole host of issues conspired against the cast and crew to make a good Howard the Duck film adaptation an impossibility. You can’t pin blame for this film on most of the people who made it. That being said, it’s still bad. And since I’m in the business of ranking films, I have to make a call as to where to put this one, regardless of my sympathy towards the people who made it.

Howard the Duck is the new last place on my rankings. It’s an absolute dud. There’s a reason Marvel wouldn’t attempt a feature film again for over a decade.

PS- If you read this article and you liked what you saw, consider donating to my Patreon! Donations from readers like you make this site possible. And if you’re new to the site check out what else I’ve been up to!

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