Better late than never (I hope), I bring my responses to’s Slash Edition Challenge.: Some Faint Hope: 918: PG: James/Jeremy: Not Mine.: This was a hard one, and I think you really had to *want* to see the J/J slash, but heck, I wanted it!: The first of my assigned episodes – series 2, episode 10. As mentioned above, it was tricky, but I’ve worked in a few episode references, so it should count!Richard always seemed to cause an utter delight in Jeremy that James knew he couldn’t compete with, and that broke his heart a little bit more than he really cared to admit.Watching Jeremy dance around the studio, gleefully making the loser sign and generally taunting Richard, all James could see was the huge grins on both their faces, and the evident pleasure they took in each other’s company.Jeremy came alive around Richard, a painful contrast to the more abrupt, serious Jeremy that James encountered.***Richard was safe and right now that was the most important thing in the world to Jeremy. He could laugh with Richard, drink with Richard, spend time with Richard, and not have anything complicated get in the way.He could flirt with Richard too, because Richard flirted with anything that breathed, charming everyone he met into loving him. And Jeremy let himself flirt back, because making eyes at Richard was the only way he knew how to keep his gaze away from James.It should have been the other way around. If he was going to fall for one of his co-presenters then it should have been pretty Richard Hammond; plain, ordinary James May should have been the safe one, the one who stirred nothing but friendship in Jeremy.But it was James that he wanted. He wanted to make James look at him the way Richard would, wide eyes showing so clearly the affection he felt. Instead he got a wariness and detachment that he had initially thought was concealed dislike. Even now, knowing James better and better able to see the friendship hiding behind the caution, even now he knew that letting James see how much he cared for him would be the best way to send him running in the opposite direction.But now the end of the series was approaching and the combination of eagerness and dread within him was spilling out.Last year had been different. He’d seen Richard off with a cheery thump on the back and promises to go out for a drink in a couple of weeks, shaken hands with Jason with a brief ‘see you’, and then gone to find Andy, mind untroubled by much of anything.This time should be easier. The second series has gone down even better than the first and there was no doubt over their future. No one was leaving so he didn’t have to worry about getting to know someone new, and life should have been uncomplicated.Except that he was facing several months without having James May in his life, and it shouldn’t be a hard prospect, but it was.And instead of scaring James off by telling him, Jeremy was careful to send the excess attention in Richard’s direction, careful only to let James see the calmer, more sane side of his character.It seemed rather too much like a plan for him to be entirely comfortable with it; it felt like he was working up to the day when he could tell James how he felt, and wasn’t that a terrifying thought?***It was James he’d known the longest, but it was Jeremy he could read the easiest, and Richard never for a moment misinterpreted Jeremy’s behaviour towards him. At his loudest and shoutiest, all of Jeremy’s attention was on him, and he wanted the whole world to know it. But in his quieter moments Jeremy’s attention belonged to James wholly and completely.Richard never failed to spot the way Jeremy’s eyes would go to James under cover of a raised coffee mug or cunningly placed script, quietly observing the other man.And while James might not see the adoration that Jeremy couldn’t quite conceal every time James made him laugh, Richard never missed it.But Jeremy wasn’t entirely ready to take things further, so Richard would act as a shield between Jeremy and James, allowing Jeremy time to sort out his feelings, and protecting James from being hurt.Funnily enough, he never considered how much he was hurting James just by being there. And he never considered that James would watch him watching Jeremy and read something else entirely into the periods of quiet contemplation, when all he was really doing was planning his ‘best friend’ speech, the one that said***Andy had spent so much of his professional life watching Jeremy that it had become second nature by now. Unfortunately that meant that he couldn’t claim not to have noticed Jeremy fawning over Richard in public and mooning over James in private. Nor could he claim not to have spotted the protective reaction this was sparking in Richard as he strived to stop Jeremy breaking James’s heart. More than that, by seeing more than the other two, he couldn’t help but see the way James was retreating in on himself, viewing himself as the loser in a contest that didn’t exist. And he suspected he was the only one who really saw how much James was hurting, increasingly long hair covering his face and shielding him from a world he didn’t feel part of.The bugger of it was that if he was the only one who could see what was going on, didn’t that mean he was obliged to sort the mess out?Andy couldn’t help but feel that was going above and beyond…maybe they’d come to an understanding on their own.A producer should be allowed to hope, after all.: Shall We Dance: 617: PG: James/Jeremy: Not Mine.: I’m not sure this is a fic, so much as a set of scenes, but…this is it.: The second of my assigned episodes – series 10, episode 1. Set during the ‘driving holiday’ – the boys go looking for another hotel.Richard didn’t even pretend to be surprised when James easily acquiesced to Jeremy’s suggestion that they look for another hotel. Just like he no longer pretended to be surprised when James’s bed wasn’t slept in when they went away to film.Knowing that interfering at this point would do more harm than good he complied, quietly following the other two to their cars and making it a done deal. It wasn’t a terrible idea after all. The hotel was really less than ideal – and Andy looked a heartbeat away from insisting that someone stay up and guard the cars.***Andy didn’t even pretend to be surprised when James easily acquiesced to Jeremy’s suggestion that they look for another hotel. Just like he no longer pretended that it was coincidence that Jeremy and James would always end up booked into corner rooms, with himself and Richard acting as a buffer between them and the rest of the crew.So instead of protesting he allowed the other three to make their way to a new hotel, telling himself that he was supporting the move for the sake of the cars, and certainly not because for once he wouldn’t have to worry about two of his presenter being caught in the act.***When they finally arrived at the hotel, several hours later, tempers were frayed. Specifically Richards’s. And James didn’t bother responding to the muttered “I hope he’s worth it,” his friend uttered as he pushed past him into his (admittedly much better) room.Walking past his own room, James let himself into Jeremy’s room. It was always left unlocked when they went away like this, facilitating a quick and discrete entrance.But Jeremy didn’t rush at him the moment he entered, didn’t press him against the door and kiss him like he couldn’t go another moment without kissing him.Instead he was sitting on the bed, staring up at James in confusion.“I got lost, I wasn’t paying attention.”“Yes,” James acknowledged quietly, sitting next to him.“All I could think of was you.”“Yes,” James smiled ruefully, “there was always the risk.”And suddenly Jeremy remembered how it all started. James had snuck away from the others, had received permission to play the old piano standing in the corner of what passed for a function room. Jeremy had followed him, watched him relax for the first time as the music washed over him and he lost himself in something that was, to him, utterly uncomplicated. And Jeremy had moved closer, had waited for him to finish before saying quietly, “come to my room tonight.”And instead of answering immediately, James had played a quiet, familiar refrain that he recognised from his eldest daughter’s brief but all encompassing obsession with. Jeremy remembered watching those hands, gentle and confident as they danced across the keys. And he remembered the way James had watched him, a strange, questioning look on his face as the music rang out.He hadn’t understood, believing that the musical interlude had been giving James time to think about things before they went any further.He had blundered head first into the liaison without thinking further ahead than wanting James that night: that James had known just how at risk their hearts were and had still gone into it was terrifying.“I’m in love with you,” he had to say the words out loud, had to make sure James understood. “What am I supposed to do with that?”“Dance?” James suggested, leaning over and kissing him softly.Reality had been ignored for so long, Jeremy decided as he let James push him back onto the bed, it could wait until morning.