(I’m busy cleaning the TV displays in the electronics section when a middle-aged customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Hey, can you tell me where the bottle brushes are?”

Me: “Sure, they’re over in the infants section.”

(I give him instructions on how to get there and even point it out as I’m the only one in my department and cannot leave my post.)

Customer: “I don’t have kids. Just so you know, it’s not for that.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Customer: “I just need the brush to clean out my bong.”