Cheeto Jesus is so busy throwing shade on Twitter at everybody who gives him the sadz based on the latest issue of National Breitbart Enquirer, it seems he forgot to read up on the fundamentals of fundraising legalities. Maybe he said he was going to self fund so many times he actually started to buy into his own bullshit, but you would think someone somewhere would have half a clue that he was going to need to beg people for money and that there would be a whole bunch of rules involved in doing that. Doesn’t this guy have like a zillion lawyers on staff all the time? This is America, after all, and we have lots of rules with our money and elections.

Even in the Sesame Street dumbed down easy-peasy version of running for president Bert and Ernie cover how bad it is to ask for money from non-US residents, much less accept it. It’s entirely possible that somebody decided this was merely a stupid suggestion;invented by a liberal social justice warrior who was trying to trap the Trump into doing something racist, and in an effort to prove he was definitely not one, he decided to make certain this month he sent equal requests to dozens of The Brits, The Scots, The Aussies, and The Icelanders, especially members of Parliament. See, now Trump wins, because he has shown them! Everybody loves Trump, because he has the best emails, and the best people writing emails, with the best words, on the best computers.







But oopsie! The Trump was actually all wrong here, because it was that sneaky Federal Election Commission who made this rule, and they are very strict with their rules, so strict they will punish violators with fines or even prison!



The Act prohibits knowingly soliciting, accepting or receiving contributions or donations from foreign nationals. In this context, “knowingly” means that a person:

Has actual knowledge that the funds solicited, accepted, or received are from a foreign national;

Is aware of facts that would lead a reasonable person to believe that the funds solicited, accepted, or received are likely to be from a foreign national;

Is aware of facts that would lead a reasonable person to inquire whether the source of the funds solicited, accepted or received is a foreign national.

Unfortunately for Trump, even my not-tech-savvy parents know that “.is” and “.uk” are not the same as “.com” and mean that emails are going somewhere likely not in the USA. Someone somewhere at some point had to enter these email addresses and then approve the communication to be sent out.

Based on the number of people who cannot even stand Trump I’m not sure why they had them in the first place, but they never should have been in the “campaign solicitation” column for sure. But with this level of attention to detail, especially when it comes to sensitive things like emails and international correspondence, I think he’s the last person who needs to hold the keys to the nuclear launch codes. I’m not sure he needs to have the keys to the Oval John, bless his orange heart.