Back in October, the whole Internet lit up like a hot, heaving, prehistoric volcano over the news that dinosaur erotica was, like, a thing. Now comes news via The Daily Beast that at least one woman is making $30,000 a month ($30k per month!) writing e-books about having sex with Bigfoot. Virginia Wade has produced 16 volumes of the delightfully named series Cum For Bigfoot because, hey, someone has to give the people what they want.


An excerpt from one of the books is over on The Daily Beast because, frankly, some things are even too dirty for The A.V. Club to publish without blushing. Here’s a teaser, though: Wade writes at length about Sasquatch’s cryptozoological member, which she describes as “defying logic,” while being “riddled with intersecting veins and bulging on the end like a tennis ball.” You’re welcome.