As a relationship columnist, I hear a lot from male readers whose emails and letters are variations on a theme: "I have a long, stable marriage but we don't have sex anymore. How can I change this?"

Often, these men describe themselves as heartbroken at the absence of sex in their lives. They deeply miss the intimacy and the connection, but they don't know how to tell their spouse. "I was raised to be gentleman," one man married for 30-plus years told me. "So how do I tell my wife I want more sex without...