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I have never heard of a custody order that required the custodial parent to put a certain financial amount towards the welfare of the children and I am not even sure it would be valid. It sounds to me like you either did your custody order through arbitration (always a bad mistake), or worse still, without legal advice. Anyway, your ex has found a "father's rights" group and they are dedicated to giving men all the rights (as it used to be) and the women get nothing. He is trying to make a legal point at your expense and I don't even know if it is legal (did you have a lawyer to assist you when you arranged the original custody/visitation order?)! You need to get in touch with a free legal clinic and get a lawyer to assist you NOW.

And the fact that you care for them 24/7 while your ex only has them during visitation, should count for a huge chunk of your contribution toward your children. And I don't think it is fair to compare you with your ex. When your ex wasn't paying his support, he also wasn't raising the kids, you were. And it wasn't fair of him to expect you to raise the children AND pay your financial contribution as well as his too. But if they are going to insist that you be held in contempt of court (do you realize you could end up with a criminal record or even go to jail? this is serious and you need a lawyer now), ask that your contribution be reduced since you weren't working.

Finally, demand that if the two of you are going to be held equally financially responsible for the children, that he be REQUIRED (not of this optional visitation) to take the children for exactly 3 1/2 days of each week (splitting both weekdays and the weekend)...that he be required to alternate staying at home when the kids are sick, etc. I doubt he is willing to give up his free time to do the nitty gritty of parenting like supervising homework and bedtimes, doing the laundry. It is much easier to just have a few hours of visitation, take the kids to the museum and out to lunch and then go home and have tons of free time.

You badly need a very good lawyer. See that you get one. Take care.