Divorce may be one of the most damaging financial events in the lives of those who go through it, but that isn’t always immediately clear to a couple about to split up.

In fact, the first response is probably emotional  whether exhaustion and sadness at having failed to save the relationship after years of struggle or shock when your spouse walks out. Then, perhaps, comes the resolve to shield the children.

It seems almost tone-deaf at that point to suggest that you write a new budget.

But as you get swept up in the rage, the disappointment and the worries, money will intrude whether you like it or not. You should expect that choices with huge financial implications will come at you with intense speed during a divorce, and they’re probably not the sort of decisions you’re used to making.

One of the first will affect how much you spend on legal fees. Should you try mediation, which can be relatively low-cost, or a newer process known as collaborative divorce? Or should you just go for the bare-knuckles approach?