My hard work paid off, I consistently ranked first in the high school. Later, in the city and finally in the whole province of Western Azerbaijan. I was very proud of myself. I was kicking the ass of many students from very affluent families, with private tutors and endless support of their families. I was also kinda famous in the town and the province. To be honest, it felt good.

Ghalamchi organization every year published the names of the students

Finally, last year of high school arrived. A full year, dedicated only to preparation for “Konkoor” or Iranian national university entrance exam. To give you some perspective, in 2007 alone, when I was taking the exam, there were 500,000 students who wanted to enter engineering and science majors. There were separate Konkoors for the medical science and humanities. It was a rough year. I would study 60–70 hours per week for 6–7 month straight. I ranked 230 in the country and first in my province. I was happy to start a new chapter in my life. All my hard work had paid off. I got into Electrical Engineering in University of Tehran. At the time, EE was the most popular and sought-after major among the engineering students. Usually the top choice of the top Konkoorists :-)

University of Tehran’s Entrance

Tehran University is the Symbol of higher Education in Iran. This is the picture of UT’s entrance on the Iranian 500 Rials bill.

College was amazing. Very different from high school. For the first time, I had “female” classmates and “female” professors. Keep in mind; I was coming from an all guy boarding high school where there was zero chance of talking to a girl. I was in Tehran, a large metropolitan area with 15 million population. My professors were all incredibly smart people with degrees from the top schools in the world. I was getting the best education one could get in the field in the country. I met friends with a diverse set of backgrounds. One of my very close friends was Jewish. On top of that, University of Tehran was and is the most political school in Iran with a very active student body and a long history. All the governments in Iran were criticised by the UT students; before and after Islamic Revolution of 1979. I had endless opportunities for discussions on politics, religion, and economy with friends, roommates, and classmates. Long story short, my time in U. of Tehran, opened my eyes to the world around me, changed my world view, my beliefs, and my values. I was a different person at the of that four years, a better person I believe. And, I met wonderful friends and forged friendships that I hope would last for as long as I live and beyond.

Eydane Celebration 2010, ECE dept, University of Tehran

I worked very hard in college, too. I was consistently among the top 10 students out the 270 students in the ECE department. In the third year of college, one of the most tragic events of my life happened. In the night of March 31st, 2009, during the Iranian new year holidays, my father passed away due to a heart attack. It was totally unexpected. There were no prior symptoms or heart problems. It was devastating for my family and I. A week later, I was back at school. My mom did not let me stay and insisted on my going back and finishing my semester. I did. That semester, I had my highest GPA ever.

Fast forward to 2011, I sent my application for Ph.D. programs in the US, Canada, and Europe. I was admitted and granted scholarship from top schools around the world; almost everywhere I applied to. I was admitted to EPFL in Switzerland (12th best engineering school in the world) with a full scholarship. I had a full scholarship from University of Toronto and University of British Columbia both first and second best engineering schools in Canada. And, In the US, I was admitted to University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign(UIUC), University of Texas at Austin, University of Southern California, University of California San Diego, University of Michigan-Ann Arbor and a few more; All among top ten engineering in the US. I chose to study Computer Science in UIUC.

Me and our Alma mater in UIUC

Coming to the US opened a new chapter in my life, an ongoing chapter. I decided to come to the USA because of the opportunities, to experience freedom, for the social diversity of this country, and because I thought that I was welcome and wanted here. Everyone seemed to agree that the US was the most immigrant-friendly country in the world. I used to hear from everybody that They don’t care where you come from, what you believe in and what color your skin is.

It was mostly true, but not quite entirely. US and Iran do not have a direct diplomatic relationship, and there is no US embassy in Iran. Iranian students have to travel twice to other countries to get a VISA. Once for the interview and once to pick up the VISA. In most cases, those countries themselves require VISA too. After all the steps, you may or may not get a VISA. There is no clear procedure or protocol. It is all very random. I know many of my friends whose VISA application was rejected in the interview, or never passed the clearance process, or got their VISAs months after the semester had started. Some of them had to defer their starting date and waste a year, or all in all give up on the “American Dream” and choose a much more predictable Canadian Dream or a European Dream. And If you manage to pass all these steps, almost always, you get a single entry VISA to enter the US. As a Ph.D. student with at least five years of school ahead, my VISA was valid only for three months and one entry. Going back home to visit my family means that I have to risk losing my career and all I have built so far.

Sometimes, it feels like a backward prison here. You can leave, but you cannot come back. As an Iranian in the US, you are restricted. I could not participate in some research projects because of my nationality. Imagine, the first week in grad school, showing up to join a meeting and my advisor telling me that you cannot come into the room. Same thing happened when I was looking for jobs and internships. Companies hiring Iranian students need to apply for an “export license.” Essentially, they need to prove to the government that the Iranian citizens do not have access to export-controlled technologies. The time required to get the license is arbitrary, similar to the VISA process. It may take between three to six months. Again, I have many friends who missed their internships in companies like Google, Intel, Apple, and Texas Instruments because their export license was not ready on time. During an interview with QUALCOMM, I was told by the interviewer, “last year, we offered a position to an Iranian student, and his export license was not ready on time. I don’t want the same thing to happen. So you better keep looking for other opportunities”. I was reject the next day. A similar thing happened to me during an interview with NVIDIA. Some companies, all in all, give up on hiring Iranian students because they don’t want to deal with the mess and paperwork; Amazon and Intel are some examples. As academics, one thing everyone needs to do is to attend conferences and present your work. It is also one of the fun aspects of being in grad school. Traveling around, meeting fellow researchers and advocating your research. Well, I have almost never been able to present my work myself. My works are accepted in conferences that were held in Germany, Taiwan, Portugal, South Korea and China. I could not travel.

But I think the most important impact of this situation has been on my relationship with my family. I have missed weddings, funerals, birthdays, and family gatherings. I start to realize, by every day that is passing, I know my family less and less. My brother is changing, growing up every day. He is a different person than the one I used to know. My family and I have learned to live our lives without each other. My brother does not need me. In other words, he cannot need me because I am not there. It feels unfair for him to ask things from me that I cannot provide. Well, he has learned how to live his life without me. The worst part is that it feels like I had a choice. I had a choice to stay in Iran, possibly do Ph.D. in an Iranian school. I could have made a ton of money there (there are not many graduates of top schools who stay in Iran. There is no foreign competition due to sanctions. If you are smart, there is a ton of money to be made.) I could have been successful there as well. And yet I chose to come here. Here, I am wanted and not wanted. I am respected and not respected. I am the friend and the enemy.

But, I have learned how not to give up. I have learned how not to lose hope and work hard for a better future. What is coming up next is not easy, I don’t even know what it is and when it is going to happen. But I am ready for it. It is not my first fight, nor will be the last one. I am going to live my life to the fullest, happily. I am going to enjoy every bit of it. I am going to love and be loved. And, I am going to make dreams come true. And one day in future, I will help another person to make his/her dreams come true.

With love,

The Iranian Immigrant