Initially, Jeannot’s genderqueer presentation went unremarked upon at the underperforming west Oak Cliff school where they worked. They had taken care to often “wear hair” (a wig) when teaching because appearing more feminine made interactions with the parents and administration smoother. Still, the parents didn’t look kindly upon Jeannot’s rainbow bumper sticker or queer-looking embellished cowboy shirts and slacks. But Jeannot’s identity wasn’t a real issue until that winter, when Ashley drove to George Peabody Elementary, in the parched bit of west Oak Cliff that was not yet gentrified, and surprised Jeannot with sandwiches.

Overjoyed, Jeannot asked Ashley to stay to read the children their after-lunch story.

“Why are you so BIG?” Jeannot’s five-year-old students asked when they saw Ashley. “Why is your voice so deep?”

The only kids Ashley had really spent much time around were Jeannot’s two boys, so she looked at the kids with almost as much curiosity as they looked at her.

“Class?” Jeannot said. Typically, the kids would all respond, “yes,” in a chorus, which meant that they were sitting nicely on the floor, cross-legged. But on this afternoon, one kid with a big curly mop of hair darted his hand in the air, his whole body desperate to ask a question. “Are you gonna marry her?” he blurted. A pair of twins joined in, “Yeah, are you?”

Jeannot had the feeling that any answer might backfire. “Maybe I will. Who knows!” Jeannot flashed their unflappable smile.

The next week, Jeannot was called over the PA system into the principal’s office. A parent of one of the kids had complained.

“Who are you married to?” asked the principal (who could not be reached for comment) from across her imposingly large desk. Jeannot, worried that their job was on the line, answered, “I was married to a man.” That much was true. But they had officially filed for divorce a couple months ago. After nearly an hour of unsolicited, well-meaning advice, Jeannot was dismissed. Leaving the principal’s office, Jeannot decided two things: 1) they would have to leave their beloved students and find another teaching job at a more liberal school, and 2) at that new school, Jeannot would identify and present strictly as a man.

“I really feel in between or both,” Jeannot told me. “People don’t understand that. I’m interacting with the public, so I had to put my foot firmly on one side or the other.” If Jeannot’s job depended on adhering to a binary interpretation of gender, then Jeannot would sub the “i” for a “y,” and “boy” it would be. Jeannot would use the pronoun “he” at work and the name Johnny (the name we’ll adopt for the rest of this article; “Jeannot” is their gender-neutral chosen name, not their birth name).