With the reek of alleged vote-selling rising from Fifa's Swiss HQ the winner of the newly merged Ballon d'Or for the world's best footballer might want to take the prize with a pair of Marigolds to avoid contamination. English football h as cleverly distanced itself from the game's governing body by having no nominees on the 23-man list.

There will be no English winner and probably no Premier League-based recipient, since the only candidates working here are Didier Drogba, Cesc Fábregas, a substitute in Spain's heavily represented World Cup winning squad, and Asamoah Gyan, who arrived at Sunderland two months ago. The trio are long odds to beat such players as Lionel Messi, Andrés Iniesta, Xavi and Wesley Sneijder, a beaten World Cup finalist with Holland but victorious in Serie A, the Coppa Italia and Champions League in a one-month romp with Internazionale.

The biggest individual face-slap is for Wayne Rooney, for whom the eulogies dried up in March. Chasing a gigantic pay rise has burned more energy for the best English player than keeping up the pursuit of Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo at the top of the extravagant-talent league. Manchester United must wish they had seen the nominations before surrendering to Rooney's wage demands. His absence from the list of the world's best 23 might have pushed the price down, just a little.

England's dysfunctional national team could expect to send no contender to the ceremony in Zurich on 10 January but the Premier League's poor showing refutes the best-league-in-the-world boast. Diego Forlán, Ronaldo, Arjen Robben and Xabi Alonso are ex-Premier League luminaries on Fifa's list: a welding together of France Football's Ballon d'Or for the Europe-based No1 and the global gong cooked up by Fifa in 1991.

These lists induce many a wince around England's clubs, except in the realm of management, where Fabio Capello, an aristocrat by any other measure, unsurprisingly failed to join Sir Alex Ferguson, Carlo Ancelotti and Arsène Wenger on the 10-man roll for World Coach of the Year. Needless to say none is English and only one (Ferguson) British. Vicente del Bosque is recognised for his part in the completion of a world and European double by Spain while Bert van Marwijk, Del Bosque's victim in the Johannesburg final, also makes the top 10, presumably for reacquainting Holland with the power of the clog. A gratuitous swipe, maybe, because Van Marwijk did pull off the miracle of Dutch unity and drew much of the best from Robben.

In the previous global recognition race Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and David Beckham made brief forays, but Michael Owen – the 2001 European Footballer of the Year – remains the only garlanded English footballer since Kevin Keegan, winner of the Ballon d'Or in 1978 and again a year later. Stanley Matthews won the first running in 1956, Denis Law took the roses in 1964, Bobby Charlton in 1966 and George Best landed the vote two years later.

But the closest English football came to winning the original Fifa prize was three seconds and two thirds. In this barren year there is no future winner of the combined award in sight, unless Rooney has climbed off his Dubai sunbed to return a changed man. Equally ominous is that such a high proportion of the world's most naturally gifted players have avoided life in England's highest tier, as did Zinedine Zidane, the Brazilian Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, Luís Figo and Kaká – all winners, some of them multiple, in the Premier League era.

Drogba is 32 now and Fábregas almost left Arsenal in the summer to return to Barcelona. This is not a good time for English bragging.