Various twitter accounts just like:

So-called superheroes making me late to work again. Are they gonna employ me when I get fired for their incompetence? 🖕

THINK I SAW CAP AMERICA ON HWY 95 BRIDGE 🇺🇸❤️

No one at work believes I was late because I missed my turn due to “enormous bird man.”

#cantmakethisshitup

Captain America vs SHIELD secret police have shootout on freeway in DC. What are they not telling us?

Dropped my snack in floorboard bc some metal arm dude flew off this car & into the gd road. Skittles everywhere.

Saw some guy get tossed into oncoming traffic and hit by a penske truck this afternoon. #gross #wasgettinglunch #nevermind 🤢

FUCKING SUPERHEROES BETTER HAVE SOME SUPER FUCKING INSURANCE. CAME OUT OF MEETING. MY CAR IS TOTALED. WTF?!?!

Saw Black Widow on bridge this afternoon. #daymade

Which Avenger has a metal arm? #newfave 💋

Think I saw Cap A out of costume & still fighting shit. Either that or some kids have taken LARPing too far.

Is there an Avengers with wings? Seriously. This is important.

Pray for those caught in #Hwy95 incident. Bus overturned. Potential Avengers situation. 🙏

Ridding the world of evil? What about the evil of making a girl late to her lunch date? Smh

Got bullet holes in my car today, but it also shielded black widow so like thank you ma'am. It’s been an honor.