It has been so long now. I can only remember bits and pieces. But these pieces are as bright as the first time.

Back when I was in the first standard, I used to hang out with a mixed bunch of kids. I was the youngest. The oldest was six years older than me. Everyone else was in between. Still, the mean age inclined more towards the elder side. Naturally, ‘The Baby Looney Tunes Show’ was not their cup of tea and the new teenage rock sensation mine. But as it happened almost every one of them was into this famous band which strangely enough seemed familiar to me too. And one fine evening all of my friends decided to listen to their latest album. I still remember by the time I entered the conversation a heated discussion was already going on about whether the new style this band has ventured into really suits them or were they better off performing rock. What followed was a war of songs where each party played a song supporting their genre (on their iconic Nokia 3300). Now that I recall, I liked all the songs. I was smitten by the melody. Funnily enough, I was confusing that band with Metallica all that time. I even thought to myself that I would go back home and listen to this fantastic band(although I had no internet connection or the knowledge of how to do so).

Soon enough the conversation was buried, and we all went back to our regular business of playing Ice & Water. And just like that, the whole evening was forgotten. It amazes me till this day that how many memories lie untouched in our minds, lost in oblivion.

Fast forward to ninth standard. I had changed my school twice then, but I was finally back to my school in which I was when I was in primary school. It was just another boring morning assembly until it was announced that students are now going to perform Castle of Glass. The intro music was catchy, and everyone around me seemed to know the lyrics by heart. It felt like I was living under a rock all this time. At that moment I knew what I was going to do the moment I reach home. Surprisingly enough, my best friend was an absolute maniac when it came to this particular band (and I am grateful for him to have turned me into one too). For the next few months, he gave me a set of songs to listen to and report the next day. I obliged happily. We used to spend entire periods discussing minute details, learning the lyrics by heart and questioning each other about the facts. It was during one of these ‘homework assignments’ that I came across this rather old song from the early 2000s, Crawling.

The next moment lasted an eternity. The lyrics and the tune somehow triggered a deep, lost memory of mine. This was the liveliest feeling of déjà vu I have ever had. It felt like I was reliving a fragment of my life all over again. I was transported back to the playground under the Banyan tree where my friends were arguing about which was better- Old Metallica or New Metallica. It was not Metallica they were arguing about. It was Linkin Park.

Just like how the image of a bird is imprinted on her chick, Linkin Park got imprinted on me. Ever since then rarely a day has passed when I have not listened to at least one of their songs. I could relate to their lyrics so much (as did every millennial). I found my childhood heroes. The multitalented six people who ran the band. I was amazed by how much talent could someone have. In an era where singers hire professionals to write their songs, these guys did everything from writing, performing, producing, making the music video to even creating their album art. I would often found myself waiting for their latest piece of work or footage of their live performance. My life started to revolve around them.

Then I grew up. Just like everyone else. But I never stopped listening to them. I just realized my life did not revolve around them. Though I still appreciated their genre-crossing musical ventures. By now I had grown accustomed to change. When I was young and everyone told me you would eventually get over cartoon shows and move on to film I would get scared. I never wanted to grow ‘old’. But with time, I realized change was not just inevitable, but also necessary.

Alas came the dark day of twentieth July. It was the day the lead singer of Linkin Park died by suicide. Now I was a big fan, and every fan knew that he had a dark history of drugs and abuse but was on a recovery road. Half of their songs were inspired by his struggle. This was my first experience of death. Even though I did not personally know him, he felt like a close person. This is how Linkin Park introduced me to mental health, something I was so oblivious about. I had completely different thinking of what ‘suicide’ meant before that. I could never understand how can someone be depressed, how it is not his fault that he is. I was sensitized. And it was not just me. Over the years quite a few celebrities have passed away unexpectedly, but perhaps Chester Bennington was the first for our generation.

However, this was not meant to be a somber piece of work. Since neither is life. Life should be celebrated. Much like the work of an artist. And especially if that artist was the voice of teenage angst for over two decades. He left a legacy behind. A legacy of soul touching songs for the coming generation to listen to. To dance to. And to scream to. And in his work, he will live on.