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If the fate of the world rested on Education Secretary Betsy DeVos’ ability to answer a question about anything from elementary-level math to what she ate for breakfast, I’d pray only that we all got at least five phone calls to tell our loved ones goodbye. If DeVos were in a mental-math Olympics against a giraffe, I’d bet on the giraffe. When DeVos testifies before Congress, she should be given lifelines that allow her to poll the audience or phone a friend, because she doesn’t know what the fuck is going on ... even in her own department!




That’s right, Betsy DeVos appeared before Congress again and flubbed answers and did her whole “deer in the headlights” thing, in which she’s grossly polite but completely confused about everything being asked of her.

Rep. Marcia Fudge (D-Ohio) wanted answers about the Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights. in June 2017, the Department of Education decided to scale back on those pesky investigations into civil rights violations at the nation’s public schools and universities.


“I am concerned about the low performance of your civil rights office,” Fudge noted during DeVos’ hearing Tuesday, Raw Story reports. “Could you please just state for me the mission of your civil rights office?”

She might as well have asked DeVos to repeat the first 50 digits of pi, because DeVos doesn’t know what the hell is going on in the civil rights office. Truthfully, DeVos was probably thinking, “Didn’t I shut that office down?”

Nevertheless, she shot back this gem of an answer: “The Office for Civil Rights is committed to protecting the civil rights as determined under the law of this land, and we do so proudly and with great focus each day.”

“That’s not the mission statement,” the Ohio congresswoman said. “Do you know what it is?”


Fuck no, she doesn’t know what it is! She doesn’t know anything about anything. She is the Eric Trump of Donald Trump’s Cabinet. Also, shoutout to DeVos for using the answering technique perfected by every high school student around the world. It looks like this:

Teacher: Can someone tell me about the Battle of Gettysburg?

Student: The Battle of Gettysburg was a battle in Gettysburg where people fought valiantly and with great focus each day.


DeVos noted that she had “not memorized” the Office for Civil Rights’ mission statement, to which Fudge simply said, “That’s OK.” Switching gears, Fudge asked the secretary to explain “vigorous enforcement” of civil rights in schools.

“It would be following the law and enforcing the law as stated,” DeVos responded, to which Fudge simply sighed and said, “OK.”


Two things are happening here, and both of them are subtle: DeVos is shortening her answers in hopes of getting out of the conversation; and Fudge is realizing that she’s talking to a woman with the intelligence of a tennis ball. Watch as Fudge literally becomes resigned to realizing that she’s dealing with an idiot:

It’s becoming painful to watch the level of fuckery happening at the highest levels of government, but this is what happens when 53 percent of white women vote against their self-interests to elect a man who would nominate a woman who makes Sarah Palin look like a Rhodes scholar.