When did you know this was the real thing?

Tom: I had dated every psychopath in Los Angeles. This was just different for me. Usually after a week or two of dating someone I would see where our paths would diverge. That never happened with Alan. It’s not like we didn’t have fights or disagreements. But he was the person I was willing to work it out with.

Alan: It didn’t feel like any other relationship. It felt more substantive, deeper. Soon he was spending most nights at my place and I said, “Why spend rent on two places when you’re spending most of your time here?” We moved in together after five months, on New Year’s Day 1981.

Why did you leave the West Coast?

Alan: Early on we took a vacation to New York City and on the plane home I asked Tom if he’d ever thought about living in New York. He said, “Yes,” and I said, “Let’s do it!” We got back to L.A. and told everyone we were moving – so we had to! Neither of us was making any sacrifice.

Tom: We were young and Alan had this passion and talent as a songwriter and New York was the place to be. I’d worked mostly as a carpenter but my skills had always been very portable. After a couple of years Alan realized songwriting wasn’t so easy and at the same time some close friends influenced him to go to journalism school, which he did at Columbia.

Alan: Shortly after I finished school I got a reporting job at The Hartford Courant. So many people we knew in New York had started getting sick with AIDS, and you just couldn’t get away from it, so we were happy to leave New York.