Even with its crazy costumes and ludicrous storylines, pro wrestling would be boring as shit if every story was settled in a standard "two guys, three ropes, four corners, and a Foot Locker employee" matchup. That's why the history of the sport is a never-ending list of increasingly ridiculous (and dangerous) gimmick matches. As you can imagine, sometimes these go horribly wrong. Or wonderfully right, depending on your point of view:

6 Hayabusa vs. Mr. Gannosuke in an Anus Explosion Death Match

Frontier Martial-Arts Wrestling



Continue Reading Below Advertisement

In 1999, Japanese company Frontier Martial-Arts Wrestling held the first-ever Anus Explosion Death Match, where a lit firework up the ass was not only 100 percent legal, it was how to win the match. While these wrestlers certainly could have pinned their opponent or made them submit, when you have the option to stick a small explosive into your opponent's ass crack, light it up, and let it fly, why wouldn't you take it?

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

The Asses of Fire match was the latest chapter in a heated rivalry where the masked Hayabusa (actually an impostor named Mr. Gannosuke) fought the unmasked H (who was the original Hayabusa back when HE wore the mask Mr. Gannosuke was currently wearing). Confused? Just focus on the buttcracker and you'll be fine. It takes some time to get there though -- surprisingly, neither man is willing to just let the other set his asshole on fire. They spend the first eight minutes engaging in a standard wrestling brawl that spills out into the crowd and all throughout the building. Then, Hayabusa breaks out a pair of handcuffs.

Frontier Martial-Arts Wrestling

"Now bring out the Gimp."

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

He beats down H some more, throws him into the ring, and teases a boring-ass pinfall victory. But before the count is over, he pulls H up, handcuffs him to one of the corners, and strips him down to his thong. Thousands of fans stand in their seats, all thinking one thought: I paid money to see this happen. This is my life now.