She has been using Shaadi.com to look for a man who is ambitious, educated and fun-loving. Sudha was disappointed when some of the men she met in person were not the way they presented themselves in their online photos and messages. Remember: ask for a few recent photos of your match without hats or sunglasses.

Don’t Settle



Maanasa Kona has also been using Shaadi.com to look for a man who identifies as a feminist and is “well-educated enough to know his Nietzsche from his Kierkegaard.” Though she admits some of her requirements might be a little pretentious, Ms. Kona, 27, wants a man interested in art and culture who is an atheist “of the non-Harris/Hitchens/Dawkins variety.” Also, she doesn’t want to have children.

She says she probably won’t find her dream man on any website “or anywhere else.” Except maybe a university philosophy department.

Don’t let your parents force you into signing up for “these pestilential sites in the first place,” she advises. All you will get is spam, and disappointment.

One awkward phone call with a potential suitor ended when he asked Ms. Kona how many children she wanted to “pop out,” and if it would be cool if they lived with his parents for the foreseeable future.

“Maybe Tinder will finally come through instead,” she said.

Tips on Finding a Wife

Be Specific

Image Parthav Desai on his wedding day. Credit... Viral Shah

Parthav Desai, 31, from Greensboro, N.C., used Shaadi.com to find his wife. He recommends being specific about the kind of partner you’re looking for on your profile. “After all, you will be judged on that basis and you’ve got to send the right message to the right person,” he said.