This just might be my favorite It Gets Better video yet — although, admittedly, I may have reached that conclusion because I’m exhausted from watching the “regular” It Gets Better videos. You know, the ones with messages of hope. As SodomiteHalDuncan explains, “I keep thinking how my 16, 17-year-old gay self would’ve responded to a video of someone like me coming on and saying, ‘Don’t worry, it gets better.’ And I think my answer would’ve been along the lines of, ‘Yeah, fucking when?'”

“I keep thinking that when I was growing up … a thousand, ten thousand, a hundred thousand, a fucking million It Gets Better videos would still be only a fucking band-aid over a fucking gaping wound where they ripped your fucking heart out piece by fucking piece,” he continues. “Because let’s face it, if you’re one of the kids out there thinking of following in the foot steps of too fucking many, it’s because as far as you’re concerned you’re fucking dead already.”

Heavy, yo.

We’ve all heard the criticisms of Dan Savage’s project, saying it does little to comfort bullied teens, and only offers them a glimmer of hope. But I don’t think SodomiteHalDuncan’s video is even a criticism of the effort. It’s a new take on it. It’s not about focusing on what’s to come in the years after grade and high school. It’s about the real shit you’re dealing with right this fucking second. “If the question burning in your head is, ‘When does it get better? Fucking when does it get better?’ I can’t give you a satisfactory answer.”

Watch this whole thing. Really.