There is no formal course for the parsing of Pete Carroll’s press conferences.

It takes an ability to break down long sentences filled with overwhelmingly positive observations and predictions as well as an ability to look at what’s not being said.

And after seven seasons of covering Pete Carroll on a daily basis, I feel fluent enough to not only record what the Seahawks coach said, but tell you what the coach means. Just keep in mind that there is a degree of error inherent in any translation, and while What Carroll said: is a literal transcription of his press conference, please take What Carroll means: as an attempt at a slightly humorous interpretation.

Reading between the lines of Seahawks’ statement about McDowell

Here is a breakdown of Carroll’s responses to questions about rookie Malik McDowell’s vehicular accident:



Q: What can you say about Malik? (We just got the news he’s back in Michigan.)

What Pete Carroll said: Yeah, we’re standing with the statement. That’s how we have to do it, but we’re really just hoping he has a really good recovery and all of that. It’s unfortunate. We’re on it. There will be more in a short time.

What Carroll meant: Well, you see we released the statement so I wouldn’t have to make a statement on the specifics of the injury, so instead of giving you any more specifics how about I just give you a general pep talk in hoping for a speedy recovery? Sounds good, right?

Q: Is it a long-term thing?

What Carroll said: We’ll wait and see. We’ll see what’s going on. It has been a little while since the accident happened, but we’re still waiting to figure all that out.

What Carroll meant: Well, your guess is as good as mine. Wait. That’s not true. I know more information than you do. Such as the fact that I know when it happened. We’ll get to that in a second. As for how long he’ll be out, can we wait until he’s actually able to travel before I start making the overly optimistic estimates that inevitably wind up projecting a guy to be back a week or two before he actually is?

Q: When did it happen?

What Carroll said: It’s a couple of weeks here I think. Ten days here. I think. I think that’s right.

What Carroll meant: More than a week, but less than a month. Don’t hold me to that, though.

Q: How is he handling it?

What Carroll said: It’s challenging. He had extraordinarily high hopes to be here, be with us, and he’s not able to. Everything is above board and clear and all that, what we’re doing, but it’s going to take a little while and just because this is the first time there has been a statement to come out and we’re just honoring the family and how to handle this properly.

What Carroll meant: Well, I’m going to guess that he’s not feeling real good right now not only because of the injuries but because of the way he suffered the injuries. And now he can’t show up for work at his new job and speaking of that, he’s not exactly going to win Employee of the Month at this rate. But this has been kept a secret since it happened for a very good reason. We’re respecting the privacy of Malik and by extension his family, which is why we aren’t saying what he hurt or specifically how he hurt it.

Q: Is there a possibility he doesn’t play this year?

What Carroll said: We’ll see. We’ll see. I don’t know that.

What Carroll meant: Remember three questions ago when someone asked me to provide a timeline? Because I remember that. And yeah, I’m not any more inclined to provide a timeline now than I was 53 seconds ago when the other guy asked about it.

Q: Can you tell us if he’s at home or is he still hospitalized?

What Carroll said: He’s at home.

What Carroll meant: He’s at home.