In an amusing turn of events, NSA leaker Edward Snowden is upset with his Russian handlers. In recent interviews, Snowden has requested asylum from France and even said he'll return to the U.S. if he can turn his trial into a publicity stunt.

Both points are obviously idiotic. France is a close American ally and will not jeopardize that relationship simply because a self-absorbed Snowden wants to drink Pomerol wine instead of Putinka vodka. Snowden's demands for any U.S. trial are similarly absurd. "I would like to return to the United States. ... But if I'm gonna spend the rest of my life in prison," Snowden told CBS from a drab Moscow room, "The one bottom line demand that we have to agree to is that at least I get a fair trial."

What does Snowden's fair trial entail? Well, he says the jury instructions must include a question of whether his leaking action served to "benefit [America] or did it cause harm?" This is obviously a nonstarter in that it would turn his trial into a political convention rather than a sober question about facts and law.

Snowden leaked thousands of highly classified documents pertaining to critically important U.S. signal collections efforts. Were he a true whistleblower, Snowden would have gone through established channels to raise his concerns. He could even have sidestepped the NSA and gone straight to congressional intelligence committees. In the worse case, he could even have leaked what he regarded as the most egregious programs to the press. But he did none of these things. Instead, he leaked thousands of documents — compromising active programs — to anti-government journalists such as Glenn Greenwald. Then he ran away to Moscow. Greenwald and co. then leaked documents in a way that seemed intentional on maximizing damage to the U.S. intelligence community.

But on Snowden's Russian adventure, let's be clear about something. The Russian intelligence services don't let you into their dachas unless you're of use to them. That means of use against America. Snowden's friends in Moscow will have been chosen carefully for him by the FSB. Anyone who spends a minute at the NSA should know this. We must assume Snowden did.

But Snowden made his choices and now he's stuck in his own purgatory of disappointment, a purgatory defined by lamentation over his Russian living standards and an unwillingness to face up to what he did. And so, like the British defector to Russia, Kim Philby, Snowden's existence will continue on an increasingly pathetic track.