People like to talk about PMS as if it’s something wholly irrational or unsympathetic, or totally made-up. “Oh, she’s just bitchy around her period.” “Are you on your period or something?” “Don’t worry about it, she’s just hormonal.”





Okay, well…let’s look at that for a minute. From testosterone to oxytocin to estrogen, many hormones are well-known to affect and to be affected by a person’s mood and behavior. This is commonly accepted. Countless human/biological activities depend on this – a woman’s ability to produce babies, for one. According to a TED Talk I just watched, raising your arms in a "victory!" pose for about 10 seconds causes a release of testosterone, making you feel more on top of your game. Similarly (according to a book I read, or possibly another TED talk, I can't remember where but I will dig it up and cite it if you really want me to), a hug lasting over 20 seconds starts to cause a release of oxytocin, making you feel relaxed and close and cuddly. The examples are endless.





every month.)



Although the exact mechanisms aren’t yet understood, So a woman’s monthly cycle chugs along, releasing steady levels of different hormones at different times, until right around ovulation when two major hormone levels (I believe progesterone and estrogen) suddenly take a steep drop. (It could maybe be compared to men experiencing low testosterone…if it were a few days to a week long,Although the exact mechanisms aren’t yet understood, Wikipedia references studies in which levels of these hormones affect serotonin and beta-opiods – happy chemicals and painkillers produced within the body. Around our periods, we seem to have less of these. If these studies are on to anything, it’s almost like a brief drug withdrawal. Of course we’re going to feel things, want things, eat everything, cry. Our hormones, and in the end our neurotransmitters, are out of whack.





So when we’re in this state of hormonal / neurochemical unhappiness, little things become not-so-little. When you irritate us, slip up, or are rude, we have less of our comfy, normal-girl-hormonal buffer between “Oh that’s okay, it happens” and “You know what, go fuck yourself.” When things go wrong, we have less reserves of “Lame! Well, maybe it’ll work out better next time” and tend to drop right into “I HATE EVERYTHING. NOTHING EVER GOES WELL FOR ME.”





The problem isn’t actually that we’re “hormonal”. It’s that those hormones flowing around for the first twenty-some days are part of what help to create and maintain the personality of the woman you love, and now all of a sudden there are less of them, and the body and brain don’t know what to do with that. If the theory about hormone dropoff triggering PMS is correct, then in fact, we’re not hormonal enough.





And you know what? For the most part, it’s not pleasant for us either. Who enjoys breaking down sobbing because her phone won’t open a text message? Who likes yelling and screaming at her boyfriend over a crappy situation that they’ve both endured for a while, but he was a little insensitive about it that day and she JUST CAN’T DEAL WITH IT RIGHT NOW, AND IT IS NOT OKAY!!? Who thinks that subsequently sitting up and crying about it off and on until 5am and then not being able to sleep until 7 sounds like a fun night ? Nobody. That’s who.













This doesn't happen. I promise.













So guys, lovers, family members, friends, anyone who isn't in a female brain while this happens - it’s not like most of us go around for three weeks out of the month rubbing our neatly-manicured little hands together and going “Oh man, I can’t wait until PMS this month. I’m really going to let him have it!” We don’t. At least not that I know of. We don’t mean to be nasty, make-you-walk-on-eggshells harpies. We really don’t.



And I think a lot of us try, and succeed, in exercising some control over this hormonal maelstrom. Some. But it’s hard for us too – especially when you add cramping, bloating and fatigue to the mix. In general, sadness, anxiety, irritability and anger are just not desirable or enjoyable mental states, for anyone, ever. (Okay, I won't lie - there is a select population of crazies who legitimately enjoy drama, but that's beyond the scope of this entry).





So, sometimes, cut us some slack. Buy us Friendly’s Forbidden Chocolate ice cream when we’re done yelling at the MemoryFoam which is coming off the bed and encroaching on the rest of the room and I HATE IT. IT ALWAYS, ALWAYS DOES THIS AND IT JUST MAKES ME REALLY CLAUSTROPHOBIC OKAY. Help us fix the MemoryFoam and maybe help us eat said ice cream without commenting “That’s bad for you.”











And once in a while, depending on the issue / crying fit at hand, it wouldn’t kill you to listen to what's bothering us and take us seriously.





Now excuse me while I go wrap myself in my blue fuzzy blanket, try not obsess about whatever Thing is currently just under my emo-radar, hug the cats, and eat Extra Butter Pop-Secret until I explode. This Law & Order: SVU marathon isn't going to watch itself.





As you could imagine, adding attention deficit disorder to this is...just delightful. Stay tuned for the second part of this post, where I talk about how (at least for me) they influence each other! HOORAY!







