Plans to detach the island were undertaken weeks before the vote to leave the EU

The Island of Gibraltar is to be towed to Britain by former war ships to ensure that Britain is completely separate from Europe, sources from Downing Street say. Brexiteers have always wanted to keep Gibraltar, but have felt uncomfortable with its proximity to Spain. Though bringing Gibraltar to Britain will come at quite a cost, it’s a cost Boris Johnson feels is worth it.

Future British PM Boris Johnson

‘Gibraltar has been British since time began,’ Johnson said, ‘and I don’t know why its been kept down in Spain anyway. It’s almost bloody well in Africa! Bring Gibraltar back to Britain! Hurrah!’

Boris Johnson on board the HMS Twattage, directing the towing of Gibraltar out of the Mediterranean Sea

There has been some disagreement as to where Gibraltar should be placed when it arrives in Britain, with Johnson’s camp suggested off the coast of Jersey, since ‘the weather’s not bad there sometimes’, and Nigel Farage calling for it to be placed between England and the Isle of Man, as ‘a kind of stepping stone, although obviously not a real one, because that would actually be a bit too far’, as Farage himself said.

For the time being, the main challenge is actually transporting the island, which is much greater a challenge than simply towing a ship into harbour. Some say that US Navy Submarines were also lending a hand to the British ships towing Gibraltar back to Britain, and that apart from the size of the island, Spanish Guardia Civil patrol boats also attempted to precent the move.