Ruby sat at the table, awkwardly pawing at the peas on her plate with her fork. The dinner table was thick with tension, and no one had said a word, waiting as the string grew tighter, stretching, getting ready to snap.

"I'll check on the cake." Pyrrha said jaggedly, not meeting her husband's gaze as she stood, neatly folded her napkin and placed it beside her half-finished meal. Meatloaf, rice, and peas. It was actually delicious. Jaune was an exceptional cook and had had it waiting for her and Pyrrha when she had finally made her way back to their apartment. Pyrrha had already been there, and she and Jaune had not been speaking. Ruby was beginning to wonder whether her coming back was a good thing or not. Jaune and Pyrrha had been so happy when she had first knocked on their door, but she had only seen them smile thinly since that first night.

Her running away probably hadn't helped.

"I'm sorry Jaune," Ruby said as Pyrrha left the room. "I promise, I'll pay you back for the clothes, I just need to find a j-"

"No, Ruby." Jaune sighed exasperatedly, waving his hand dismissively. "This isn't about you. We have no idea what it's like to be in your shoes right now. You have nothing to apologize for."

"So," Ruby inquired after pondering for a moment. "What is this about?"

"It's about us not knowing what you're going through, and whether it's a good idea for you to meet anyone again. Soon anyways." There was a tightness in his voice. He didn't want to talk about this. "I guess it has to happen eventually though."

"What do you think?"

"I don't know. Is it confusing?" She nodded. "Seeing others might help to clear things up a bit, but it also might make things worse."

Ruby looked at Jaune, registering for a first just how tired he looked. There were bags under his eyes that she hadn't noticed earlier and a slouch in his spine uncustomary for huntsmen. He looked weary, like a man aged beyond his time with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"What's wrong Jaune?" Ruby's voice held nothing but sympathy. Jaune cracked a half-hearted smile.

"There's a lot of things wrong. Pyrrha and I need to talk about some things, and I…" He trailed off. "Let's just say that seeing you again is confusing in so many ways."

"Will you be alright?" Ruby's knees had started knocking under the table.

"I guess we'll find out."

I guess I'll start at the beginning.

We did not start off smoothly Rose. Every once in awhile I think of how we met and I'll smile at the great ironies of the world. You were cute, I was snooty. You were all alone and I was making my way through with my servants pushing along a plethora of bags and dust containers, alone in my own way I suppose. And this clueless, young little girl knocks all of it over. At the time, it felt like you were trying to sabotage everything I stood for and undermine me… I think I understand how I may have overreacted.

You irritated me for a while Rose, but not for any reason other than jealousy. You were younger than me but more talented, capable, you were a natural leader and I always assumed that was a role that I was perfectly suited for. My expectation of being granted the title was the exact reason I could never earn it, of course, but it took me a long time to come to terms with that. Things had always come easily to me. When the world is always attainable without effort, it becomes a simple affair to assume that you can achieve anything you desire with the flick of a wrist. Almost as if it is owed to you. You stole that from me, and I resented you for it.

But you… You are the best there is Rose. Anytime that I was afraid, or doubted who I was and what I was doing, you were there. We didn't always talk, sometimes it was just a smile when the world seemed an anonymous crowd of frowns, or a hug when it was the last thing I thought I wanted, but was truly what I yearned for most. You had this uncanny ability to ascertain exactly what needed to be done in any moment, and the caring, loving, optimistic and beautiful young woman I came to know got my attention. I stopped looking at you as the girl who took everything from me, and started seeing you as the one I could grow with. One I wanted to be around.

Firsts are a funny thing, are they not? As I see it, the progression of who you were to me was nothing more than a series of firsts. The first time we met, the first time I saw you as an equal, the first time I respected you, the first time I thought of you as my friend, and the first time I realized I loved you.

It was a long time ago now. Hardly three years into Beacon. We had been fighting a lot over trivial things. I can't recall what any of them were. I believe that once it was over which utensil went where. And when I say we were arguing a lot, I mean I was getting… Flustered with you. For the reason that now seems so obvious to me - I was afraid. I was beginning to understand how I felt, what you meant to me, and what that meant about who I was. I know that we are referred to as the 'finer sex;' however, I had never considered that I might find the company of another woman finer than that of a man. I had encounters with a few men - boys truthfully - and had always found them pleasant enough. Then there was you, a woman, and how you made my stomach coil over itself made me worried about what my father would think, though not nearly as much as I was concerned over what you would think.

I stood upon a precipice.

Understand that I was on the edge of losing everything. If you found out, or anyone did, I feared your rejection and consequently that of the entire team, and if my father knew, I would be edged out. No family, no friends, nothing but a crystallizing heart left alone in the void. As a child, I had hardly had a family, but I had at least the vaguest silhouette of one. Nonetheless, I had gazed into the abyss for long enough to know how much it terrified me. I was not sure how long I could survive alone amongst the nothingness that possesses those who have no one. I suppose I've come somewhat closer to finding an answer to that than I ever wished to.

So, these arguments, they were my juvenile attempts to hide from you, hoping that somehow I could hate you. Hating is so much easier, so much more cowardly, than loving, and I was irrevocably a coward. It was not until I questioned why I found myself so scared that I was forced to admit my feelings to myself.

And then I was quiet.

Solitude and silence often seems a solution, but in truth it is nothing more than a delay. I muzzled my own voice to ensure that no one found out. In doing so, though, I was unintentionally creating the exact fate I had feared so strongly. I would not talk to you or any of the others, I refused to speak with my family (not that that was new), and I slowly realized that I was losing everything I cared for. Were I to be saved, I would have to do something about it. But knowing and acting are very different monsters, and my demon would ill allow me to summon the courage required to voice that which was inside me.

If I spoke, I stood to lose everything. If I stayed stagnant, I would lose it all anyway. It was an impossible choice, and of course, I was a coward. The logical choice - that which I prided myself on being able to make - would have been to confess to you. To trust you. Rationally, there is only a chance of losing everything if I did so. That terrified me even more than fading slowly away. Your rejection, knowing that there was no hope of you ever reciprocating those feelings which made me so confused and happy and sad, would have been infinitely worse than slowly becoming what I had once believed to be the only inevitability for myself - an observer in my own body. Seeing, acting, but never feeling. The heart can only survive so much before it shuts down, and perhaps it makes me weak, but I had been near that threshold for a long time.

And you, you beautiful, annoyingly perceptive, wonderful dolt, took that choice away from me.

It was an evening after sparring. You suggested we go get ice-cream. Just the two of us. Of course, this immediately made my insides squirm with delight and nervousness and my heart pump frantically as if it were trying to escape my chest. It wasn't uncommon for partners to do things of that sort, but my mind immediately jumped to hopes of what your intentions were. I hoped that you were feeling the same as I did. I hoped that maybe this would bring an end to my fear. In a way, it did.

We got the ice cream, you got chocolate and I got vanilla. You made fun of me for being so plain. I got angry because the woman that was causing me so much pain and fear was now mocking me. Then you asked me to stop and sit down on a park bench. To just… Stop for a moment. You asked me to relax and just look at the world around me.

So I did.

We were at the airfield, sitting on the edge of the drop off. A hairsbreadth from falling, but without concern. There were no planes or airships that day. Everything was quiet and peaceful, and from our perch atop the world we could see all of Vale sprawled out before us as well as the rolling foothills that surrounded it, all the way to the crystalline lakes and rivers flowing down from the dusted snowy peaks of the mountains so far away.

I still find fault with words to describe the sight and the feeling that accompanied it. The life of the city contrasted by the peace of nature… The closest I can come is to describe it as true beauty. So blissful, so innocent, so pure was the feeling that enveloped me that I could hardly breathe. It was a sight I had seen a thousand times before, but only you could have made me see more in it than could ever have existed before. It was as if someone had taken my soul and shifted it, ever so slightly, to reveal the world in a new lens. It didn't last long, but in that brief moment I caught a glimpse of what you saw in the world, the purity of it, and how it drove you to save as much of it as you could.

That was the moment I realized I could not hide any longer. You had your flaws, as we all do, but you also held a purity unlike any I've ever known. You asked me if I found it beautiful, and I said that I did. I remember wanting to say more, my lips slightly parted, struggling to find a way to voice how much I cared. How I wanted to tell you, but how could I describe how I felt? How could I voice the uncertainty, fear, hope, love… The words that had so long been my allies failed me. I could not summon them, or perhaps it was my courage that failed me one more time.

Then you just smiled and said "I know,"

I had made no comment to you. I hadn't done anything save make a statement of agreement and paused, but somehow you knew. You knew what I meant by it. That it wasn't the world that was beautiful, but rather the way you saw it. That it was you, Ruby Rose, that was beautiful.

You took my hand. It was such a simple gesture, but that touch was more intimate than anything I had ever experienced. Handshakes with businessmen, hugs with family, even the brief kisses - those that are lofted as the crux of romance - I had shared with some suitors who had seemed particularly pleasant could ill compare to that touch. Intimacy is not defined by the extent of the touch, it is defined by the value of it. For the first time in my life, it felt like someone was offering me a fire to escape the harsh, cold landscape I had not even realized I was living in. My heart raced, my breath came short, but you just sat beside me peacefully. And eventually, the terror and adrenaline faded, giving way to a much more profound feeling of peace and contentment. There have been few times in my life where I have felt happy. That was one of the first, and one I still treasure to this day. All I have now are these memories, Rose. What is left without you is naught but a barren husk of what was once life. I no longer have someone to show me the beauty of the world. Some days I gaze out into the garden outside my office, walk through it even. I'll stare for hours, hoping for a second of that world that you showed me, just a tantalizing taste of all that once was. But my nightshade and daylilies are dead, and though my rose blooms, it is not for me. It is a reminder though, that somewhere that purity still exists. I've just lost the ability to find it. I hope you haven't lost that.

There was never a time when we explicitly stated we were dating, and I'm glad for it. That word does not seem to describe the times we spent together. There was something so pure and unadulterated about them that it would seem insulting to liken them to the awkward attempts of adolescents and even adults to gain one another's affection. We already shared that affection, and when we were together we would allow it to show. For the first few months, we would get ice-cream every Friday and go to the airfield, sit on the same bench, and gaze into the world. It felt to me as if you were sharing your very soul with me, and I believe that you came to know me well in those moments. Saw where I was from, and how foreign this beautiful world of yours was. Once in awhile, we would hold hands, and I would smile. In those first few weeks, I experienced more happiness than I had in the entirety of my previous life.

I am certain that you would never agree with me blaming myself for what happened to you, that you would claim the fault as your own, but the second I shared your world with you I took on a responsibility. I held a piece of your soul within me, the shard of it that you had shown to me, as much as you held mine within your arms. We were bound, in a way, and that bond only grew stronger over time. But I began to wither it. I started to drift away, falling back into the eager embrace of the abyss, and shunned your attempts to save me.

It is somewhat enlightening, writing these letters. I have nothing to hide from you, I never have, because you always accepted all of me. It was not about my virtues being better than my faults, it was about me being beautiful to you, and vice versa. There is no truer acceptance than that which comes from forgetting what is good and what is bad. All there is is the other person, and you can do nothing but love them. You gave that to me, and I threw it away. I tore it apart, let you go. I took your trust, the morsel of felicity you had granted me in such utter selflessness, and I had devoured it.

I have wronged you Rose. That, among other reasons, is why I can never be apart of your life again. I fear that, though you may have loved me, it was never a love I deserved. That world that you had before I stepped into it, before you showed me, was what you deserve. I don't know if you thought that perhaps I could be apart of it, but I could not survive there. Or rather, it could not survive while I existed in it. The mountains and lakes could never sparkle as dazzlingly for me as they could for you, and the marvel of life and human innovation could never be as profound while I observed it. I tainted your world. Like the weeds in my garden, I constricted the beauty and love out of the world. And if you had once known that world, how could you live in one that was colored by me? One that was so infinitely less than what you had known, what you should have had.

And I have always wondered if that is why you pursued your duty so vigorously. Perhaps by destroying the embodiments of pure evil, you could rid your world of it. But the evil did not come from the Grimm. It did not come from anything more than that which you would not leave willingly, and I would never have left. I was selfish in keeping by your side. You were my saviour, my love, everything to me. You were my light, and everything else was the dark.

And then I lost you to the dark.

And I will never forgive myself for not following you unto the breach, following you to face that last adversary with whom we must all eventually dance The young flirt with it, the old fear it, the brave can face it and tremble only a little, the cowardly will avoid it at any cost, but all will someday come to know it. Perhaps the most we can ask for, the most that can be harvested from this crop of weeds, the best that can happen in this eccentric and convoluted world, is to not face it alone. But you did. You faced it without another soul for miles around, at the hands of monstrosities that populate the nightmares of heros. You had to face it alone. Because of me.

There is no law which would convict me, no human fabrications or engravings in stone that would denote a sentence or punishment for what I did. Perhaps it is because no words can describe it. No amount of tears can be shed to equate to it. No volume of blood, no amount of good deeds, no pile of diamonds, could ever be used to evaluate the depth of it. It was a betrayal of the most fundamental parts of our souls. Murder is often considered the most horrendous thing that may be done, and perhaps I am guilty of that in a way, but the betrayal - nay abandonment - I committed is more heinous than any crime that is known to law or I would fear to imagine.

You will not be alone now. You have Yang, Blake, Jaune, Pyrrha… They are true friends. They will not leave you. They will not do to you what I have done. Be open with them. Build your life however you will, and they will stand by your side. You will never again be alone Rose. That I can promise you. I hope that that brings you as much joy as it brings me bittersweet contentment.

And in this moment, I ask one last favour. Allow me to be selfish one last time. One final proclamation.

I love you,

-Weiss Schnee

Ruby looked at the screen, a crystalline tear sliding off her cheek to splatter on the screen, shattering into a thousand fragments. Oh Dust, what was Weiss thinking? Oh Dust… Ruby held her hand over her mouth, trying not to sob. How could Weiss blame herself? How could she hold herself accountable? And how could she leave Ruby there, all alone? Because despite who she had around her, despite the fact she knew she could trust Jaune and Pyrrha, despite what Weiss said, Ruby was alone.

Dust, she was so very alone.

I am so excited for next chapter! I also really enjoyed writing this one. Starting to see a lot of what Weiss was thinking. Also, the season opener today was awesome! So I hope people are still enjoying this, and let me know what you think. I'm feeling a little rusty on my writing, so any criticism, thoughts, comments, ideas, ect... are all welcome and help a lot.

-Unjax