For the first time in the 110 years of this publications history our editors unanimously endorsed nuking the whole thing from orbit and going back to watching soccer from afar.

We reached this decision lightly and with virtually no forethought after being added into an unbidden discussion about the qualification of soccer journalism, promotion/relegation, and what can only be called egomaniacal dick measuring in our Twitter mentions over the last few days.

Our board of directors, editors and writers announced that the only true thing that is 100% factual about soccer in the United States is that it is played in that country.

We endorse the option of nuking it all from orbit and going back to that time when your Uncle Vito brought back the pink pages of Gazzetta dello Sport and you had no clue how to pronounce Juventus.

Thank you,

The Editorial Staff of The Nutmeg News