Wow, helluva night at the strip club for 40-year-old Jerome Ponette. First, he got kicked out of Mirage Cabaret on West 34th Street for allegedly being drunk. Then he got behind the wheel of his Mercedes Benz and went all Mallachi brothers in the parking lot, and before his impromptu demolition derby was over, he had smashed into four cars and pissed off some pretty dangerous dudes.

Ponette finally peeled out of the parking lot and headed down TC Jester. Two bystanders had not approved of his vehicular temper tantrum. They gave chase, and each of them fired numerous shots at Ponette's car. In the course of eluding these hunters, Ponette crashed his bullet-riddled Mercedes into two more cars.

Luckily for everybody involved -- not least Ponette himself -- the cops got to him first.

Police found him at a gas station at TC Jester and the North Loop feeder road, battered from the car crashes but somehow unriddled by bullets. (The two guys who had been shooting at Ponette melted away into the night.)

Ponette was taken by ambulance to the hospital, where more than just a thick sheaf of bills awaits him. He was charged with aggravated criminal mischief, and according to court records Hair Balls dug up, was already on community supervision for a second-degree felony charge of possession of 4-200 grams of cocaine. (His record also includes a bust for carrying an unlicensed weapon, assault-bodily injury and driving with a suspended license.

Call us crazy, but we imagine his probation officer might be a little cross with Ponette at their next meeting.

