“If we are able to channel all this angst, anger and useless rage over kit releases into something tangible, why we might be able to solve some of the world power issues,” stated MIT researcher Sandra Yang. “We know that there is almost an inexhaustible source of angst that exists and all that we need to do is harness this to service some kind of good in the world.”

Supporters across Major League Soccer are encouraged to really just let fly with all their complaints as they traditionally do this time of year as they are reminded to really think about the people without power or clean water in places like Haiti, Libya or the Sudan as they talk about subtle details and color schemes that they dislike.

“Please continue to vent about the three stripes on the shoulder,” stated Professor Yang. “Your complaint about corporate branding may bring relief to communities that you can’t even imagine provided we can figure out a way to turn your unending complaints into an actual power supply.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Ms. Yang admits that she and other researchers hope that Adidas continues to create kits for Major League Soccer so that their source of complaints doesn’t dry up.