How to Live an Interesting Life As An Introvert

A major problem with people is their ability to transition into an “average lifestyle.” They consider watching television, sitting in the house, or visiting their family on the weekend to be normal.

I may be the extrovert in the relationship, but if dating an introvert has done anything to me, it’s allowing me to infuse some of my healthy social habits into him as he infuse some of his healthy introvert habits into me. It’s reminding him about some of the things he won’t hear from his other introverted friends.

You might need the same encouragement too if you don’t have an extrovert partner or friend to remind you. It’s like having a workout buddy. You can hate working out, but sometimes you need that talk to get you back into the gym to burn that extra slice of pizza off.

Recently, a popular article people loved was How to Understand an Introvert you’re in a relationship with. I was actually stunned by the amount of introverts who thanked me considering I’m an extrovert.

Although it’s a small thought to consider, life can easily pass you by if you sit around thinking about what you want to do. Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, today is going to be the youngest you’re ever going to be.

It may be hard to grasp this knowledge now, but think about all the experiences you’ve had in the past where you thought the following:

“If only I made a move towards that girl.”

“If only I started that business without the fear of failure.”

“If only I traveled more.”

But what do you have to be afraid of? Getting rejected? Embarrassing yourself? Failing? Put your pride aside and just go for it. Chances are you’ll realize it wasn’t half as bad as you thought after you get it accomplished.

I normally help teach people how to get past their fear of social anxiety and how to approach people. I recommend regularly going back to mundane places such as supermarkets, malls, stores, public transportation, parks, happy hour bars, etc.

Don’t stop being a kid because it’s the moment we think we should “grow up” that kills life for us. It’s assuming since you’re an adult, it’s okay to be lazy and do nothing because you’re too old to do it.

I’m 25 years old and I would still rock a jungle gym if it looked fun enough. The other day, Michael and I went to Sea World and played on a giant obstacle course that was meant for children.

Did my body feel like I got jumped by a team of football players afterward? Yes! But I still carry that experience today with no regrets.

Children are always laughing, playing, getting hurt, and living in the moment. There is no reason why you shouldn’t do the same too. Society makes people boring and miserable because of the roles they force us to play.

We assume it’s okay to be lazy when we return home from work because we deserve it. It’s easy to accept there isn’t a place to hang out at because you’re not familiar with it.

But it’s going back consistently to common places like a bar, a library, or social gathering will give you a foundation to practice your approach skills and learn how to initiate interactions with strangers.

The one stereotype introverts get hit with the most is that they don’t like to go out. But that’s wrong for many reasons. It isn’t that introverts have a problem with going out.

It can actually be quite soothing for them to get out the house and see the world. But it’s constantly going out that bothers introverts because they have a limited source of mental energy they can share with others.

But as Michael LOVES reminding me, introverts love going to places like unique coffee shops, the mall, the library, or social conventions like comic con because they get the chance to let out their social beings. Rather than interacting with 10 people, they’d rather speak to 1 or 2 at a time and share deep conversations with them.

To have an interesting life, I want you to escape the belief you have to do activities that constantly puts you over the edge or give you an adrenaline rush. It’s irrational beliefs like those that discourage people from going out and accept a boring lifestyle. You don’t have to go nightclubbing, mountain climbing, or join some marathon.

It’s the interesting activities and things you enjoy that makes the difference. It’s trying out that boardgame with someone, going to that costume event, or attending a rally that lets you see life in a new perspective. Almost anywhere you live in the world, you can find a ton of hidden activities that can enrich your life.

I used to be friends with a guy who always seemed to know about great activities to do. If liking him as a person wasn’t enough, the fact that he always knew where to go and what to do was enough reason for me to keep this guy in my life.

Be that guy! Become the expert at finding fun things to do. When you always have your plate full with fun activities, you naturally start to draw people into your life. You have a base for relating to other people.

I like to ask people, if you had the perfect woman or guy in your life, what kind of things would you be doing with her?

Yes, “pickup” can teach you to become proficient and confident in any environment you’re in. You can learn how to charm a woman or guy after revealing what they like.

But beyond the first date, if you don’t have interesting things going on in your life, it will be very difficult to keep someone in your life. And the ones that you do keep will be boring.

Michael may not be the most adventurous man in the world because of his introverted habits, but at least he knows how to make our day exciting whether it be indoors or outside.

If we spend our time in the house, we make jokes about what we see on social media. We share funny memes and see who can find the best one. We think of fun activities that’s strange to do. We have deep conversations about space.

Last night we actually discussed about how terrifying it would be if we discovered we were either alone in the universe or if there was other life. (Really think about that question.)

When we go outside, we pretend to be tourists, we visit stores that most couples don’t, we get spas together, and visit new restaurants. Either way, we try to add new experiences in our life because we know how easy it can be to get sidetracked with the boring things in life.

We keep each other at a balanced level because I know it’ll be bad if we go out every night because we both have responsibilities. But I remind him we can’t live a boring life by just sitting in the house and wondering what to do.

We may not go skydiving, mountain climbing, or go to many parties, but we do enough little things that makes it even better.

If you know an introvert who wants to mix their lifestyle with their extroverted partner, I might have some tips to help them out. If you’re an introvert looking to live an interesting lifestyle, I’m confident that these points will help you out.

Make It Your Job to Find Fun Activities

There are a number of magazines, events lists, and websites that talk about all the great things going on in your city. I personally enjoy using Meetup when I’m searching for a new activity me and Michael should try out. He normally picks up a few pamphlets near his office that give us choices.

Once a week, I sit down and go through Meetup. I read it like it’s a homework assignment. Anything that interests me, I put into my calendar or look it up online. We may not doing 90% of the activities I list, but at least we had enough options to choose between. The latest place we’ve been visiting is a Korean Coffee shop that’s so much fun!

There are a lot of other events in your city. You can live in a small or big city. There’s always something you can check out. You can Google events for your city and you’ll find something to do.

There are also classes (art, dance, cooking, sailing, scuba diving), volunteering, political groups, health (like yoga, hiking), sports (climbing, soccer, softball, basketball leagues), boardgame nights, trivia nights, festivals, burlesque, literary readings, theater, etc.

Go Alone

Although I prefer going to places with other people (extrovert problems), as an introvert, you might be comfortable with going to places alone. This may be the most important piece of advice here.

Michael don’t wait to ask someone before he buy tickets to events. He’ll invite friends to some, but many events he doesn’t mind going to alone if I’m not available. By going to events alone, he can go to a new event every night of the week without worrying whether he has a chaperon. It gives him a lot of freedom.

Planning to go to events alone is great because when you plan a date with someone, you’ve already got something great to do and your date can simply come along if they want. You have a life that you can bring them into.

That’s so attractive!!!

Usually if Michael loves a place he already tested out, he brings me along and already knows the best things to do. One time he discovered this small Theme Park in San Diego and we played laser tag together. It was amazing!

You can also take more risks when you go alone. You may be hesitant to invite a friend out to an event if you’re worried it’s going to suck. But if you go alone, you can explore and find out what is good and what you really like.

Simply Show Up

Whenever you go out alone, there’s always the fear of:

What if people see me there without anyone, will I look like a loser?

What if no one else is there and I feel weird?

What if everyone else is there with friends but me?

For this I tell myself: Simply show up. Woody Allen once said, “Eighty per cent of success is simply showing up.”

Simply get yourself to the event. Whatever you need to do to get yourself there, do it. If the event totally sucks, you can pretend you got a phone call and walk out the door right away. At least you showed up.

Interact with as many things as you can think about. Interact with new foods. Interact with a new area in your town. Read a book in a public area. What it all comes down to is breaking out of your shell and interacting with the world.

If possible, try to hang out for a bit after you get there. Sometimes you need to hang out for a bit to actually get a feel for if it’s going to be good. Walk around. Stand at the bar and have a drink. Pretend you’re waiting for your friends to show up.

Start Small

If you have a lot of anxiety planning and going to events alone, start small. Find one new activity to do every week. Don’t put pressure on yourself to do something new every single night or you’ll burn yourself out.

Focus on activities where there will be women

While it’s worth going to gaming conventions, star-war conventions, and comic-book conventions if that’s what interests you, you may find a much lower number of women at these events then say yoga, art gallery openings, or theater events. If you’re looking for new interests, put your energy toward those that have a lot of women.

Avoid Home

For introverts, your home can be your refuge. It’s so easy to escape there. Trust me. Michael tends to trap himself in the house when he gets tired of the world.

There are so many excuses to simply go home. After work, you’re tired. There’s no one to go out with. The event will probably suck. I probably won’t meet anyone. etc. And once home, there is a lot of momentum to stay there.

Avoid the tar pit of your home. Nothing happens there! I have to remind Michael every time he hops onto YouTube and start binge watching some video game channel that he needs to get some sun.

Life happens when you walk out your front door. With a little consistency, planning, and bravery, pretty soon you’ll have a more exciting life than you can imagine.

Sometimes the only thing that’s stopping you from doing something cool or interesting is the fear of embarrassing yourself or looking stupid. The problem with that logic is that many things look weird until you try them out.

People used to consider signing up for online dating was silly but eventually it became normal. People used to consider traveling one year before college was crazy, but more and more students are doing that.

It’s hard to steer off the directional path that society expects us to follow, but it’s trying out the ideas in your mind that breaks you out of the need to be socially accepted.

And that’s attractive!

For similar posts, check out:

The Subtle Art of Going Out Alone and Loving It

The 10 Laws that Conversationalists use to Win People Over

How To Easily Keep a Conversation Going As an Introvert