I am not a good submissive, I am sometimes sassy and I giggle, I like to push the boundaries but in the end I do as I’m told. I grumble when you ask me to do things but I do them anyway, with always a hint of sass made in the way of a comment or eye gaze. But the punishment is so much sweeter an intoxicating rush runs through my body when you grab a hold of me, when you object to my behaviour I melt, the authority you have over me makes me feel aroused and secure. You’re not gentle when you smack me it makes me wet, it’s not the pain, it’s the authority and it’s the presence you make on me. Sometimes I want danger and unpredictability, sometimes I want to get out of my own head and do the wrong thing, sometimes I don’t want to be so planned and organised. There really is an art to negotiating dominance and power play fucking.

I want to feel like your princess but I also want to feel you in the dark and not know where you are going to touch next. To love to submit but not be submissive is confusing; to test boundaries and “play with fire” then do, as I’m told is a rush, I’m not naughty but I am naughty for just a moment, a fleeting moment of adrenaline.

Sometimes I look at you and I want to be all over you, I want to take control, I want to own and possess you. I want to render you powerless and I want you to submit to me. I want to be fluid and one with you, I want to be lost in the darkness with you, I want you to grab a hold of my hips and drive right into me, I want to lose my breath, I want all my senses to focus on every sound and every tingle.

I want to submit but it’s so hard to give over that power, maybe it’s an issue of trust; maybe I’m just not letting go. I feel the need to stay in control of myself, I feel it’s an important part of me, but I don’t know how to do that while still submitting myself to you, knowing with every objection and bit of sass punishment is on its way, in whatever form that is.

Maybe its fear as well, what If I don’t like what is happening? What if I feel hurt, what if it triggers something I don’t want it to trigger. I don’t have a dominant bone in my body but I like to be in control, or at least I feel like I’m in control of myself.

I crave that freedom; I crave the sense of being weightless in my mind. The feeling of submitting and being respected the feeling of dominance while being dominated the feeling that my every move is worshiped.

Sometimes I want you to own me, I want you to be in control and it makes me want to rip down your throat. I want to impale myself onto you, I want to feel every bit of you and you feel every bit of me.

But in the end isn’t the submissive the dominate one? Isn’t it in the end the submissive the one who is actually in control allowing the acts to happen, and controlling the outcome?

The feeling of your hands holding my hips so tight, reminds me you own me, I am yours. I want you to not be gentle, I want you to ravage me; I want you to take me, because you deserve me. I want you to free me from my mental restraints.

I don’t want to be in control, I want you to fight me for that power, I want to feel the release of satisfaction.

One of the most powerful things you hold is your power to submit, most people have psychological blocks, but being powerful enough to release those and become submissive is something else. Being submissive is seen as a negative, the feeling of losing while being dominant is winning.

But being submissive is so much more it is virtuous and highly desirable.

It is like a dance with “leading” and “following”. Learning to follow is hard, and it is something that requires a lot of attention and focus. This is the same with sexual submission, being submissive is not star fishing on the bed; it is actively receiving and enjoying. We are wired with many primal switches that are triggered around being dominated. They are delicious and arousing when you are using your erotic brain. Submissiveness can bring with it a cocktail of emotions, these emotions range from being in pure awe and appreciation on the sweet side, to fear and humiliation.

It is an exchange of energies that spiral upwards in grander and more superior erotic turn-ons.

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

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