The aim in these programs is not to blend or merge the two religions, but to help children understand the two distinct traditions: the common ground, the important differences and the intertwined history.

My husband was raised Episcopalian. He is the great-grandson of an Episcopal bishop. I was raised Reform Jewish by my Episcopalian mother and my Jewish father. I am a great-granddaughter of a New Orleans rabbi. Growing up, I experienced both the benefits and the drawbacks of being raised in one religion. Often, I felt marginalized as an interfaith child and had to fight to defend my claim to Judaism. For our son and daughter, now teenagers, my husband and I decided that we wanted them to feel that they could be at the center of an interfaith-families community, surrounded by other interfaith children, rather than trying to conform to a single religion in which they might, or might not, be accepted. And we wanted them to feel equally connected to both sides of their religious ancestry.

Why are other parents choosing this controversial pathway when most rabbis, ministers, and priests urge families to pick one religion? In researching my book on interfaith families, I surveyed more than 250 parents like me who had enrolled children in interfaith education programs. Parents told me they wanted their children to be “bilingual” in two religious languages, and to feel positive and self-confident about being part of an interfaith family, rather than tolerated or on the periphery in a single-faith context. They also did not want one spouse to feel left out — to feel like an “out-parent” or guest in a church or synagogue, even as many religious institutions have become more welcoming to interfaith families.

The interfaith children who grow up in interfaith communities, learning and celebrating both religions, are not lost to Judaism. My children have only one Jewish grandparent: by ancestry, they are “three-quarters” Christian, and their Judaism is through my father. If we had to choose one religion for them, the logical choice would be Christianity. Instead, we have taught them essential Jewish and Christian prayers, songs and rituals. Perhaps, having been given a love for Judaism and basic Hebrew literacy in childhood, they will choose at some point in their lives to practice Judaism exclusively. That would be good for the Jews. Or perhaps they will choose to be Christians or Buddhists or secular humanists who happen to have an unusual knowledge of and affinity for Judaism. That would also be good for the Jews.