GOLDSEA | YOUR TRUE STORIES [NOTE TO READERS: This page is closed to new input. You can post new true stories and continue discussions at the new improved Instant Polls & Comments area . --Ed.] Growing Up Eurasian in a Small Town ello people,

First i must say that I am glad there is a site like this. Growing up in a small town was hard (and still is; im 16). I look a little more asian than most EurAsians, and when i entered grade school, i was teased as the "chinese" kid.

There are very few Asians in my town, and the Asians that are here are FOB. My Vietnamese father left my mother shortly after I was conceived, he has never seen me, and I have never seen him. I presume that he is ashamed to have a child who is not pure Vietnamese - however I don't know.

Because I never had a Vietnamese father, I idolized my friend's father - who was white. I have 1 Asian (ironically he's Cambodian) friend today, and he is the first Asian that I have ever had a friendship with. Until the age of 15, I never had any Asian friends. Most of the white girls that are in my town wouldnt think of dating me, because to them I am Asian. On the other hand, the Asian girls here wont date me because to them I am white. Yes - in this town it really is like blast from the '50s.

For a while I went through a stage where I wanted to be indentified as white. Then the opposite occurred, suddenely everything was white people's fault, and i was AzN! ...but I'm not, and I dont feel that comfortable around white people or Asians.

There are 3 other Eurasian kids my age (in a town of 30000 people!) and I quickly became friends with 1 of them. We are good friends; I have to admit, we may not have been friends if we were not both EurAsian.

I stay in touch with the other 2 EurAsians in my town; they are all I have and I am all they have for a "culture."

To myself and to others, I identify myself as EurAsian now, and I am proud to be EurAsian. I dont see "EurAsian" as white or Asian, I see it as EurAsian. I am learning Vietnamese now, just so that I can speak to my father some day in his mother tongue.

As for being "arrogant" about looks... I dont think that really applies to me. My white family always told me I was undesirable because I am half asian. Now I can look at myself in the mirror, and feel pride because I know I dont look bad. I dont think I am gods gift to women, I just dont think I am unattractive.

Being EurAsian is not easy, by any means, especially where I live. Until there are more inter-racial marriages, EurAsians will never quite fit. I encounter racism on a regular basis, but for me, theres not Asian father to say "I know what you are going through."



EuRaZn FuRy!!!

squidstock@hotmail.com Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 00:18:30 (PST)



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READER COMMENTS I think everyone should realize that experiences growing up as asian, white, black or whatever varies across the United States. Being from Hawaii, it is hard to imagine things like that happening, and it is really unfortunate. Hopefully people are able to become stronger from it and not allow themselves to feel afraid or hateful.



On a more lighter note, I agree with Confused, hapas are usually considered "hotter" here in Hawaii, and most places I guess. Especially hapa females.

From Hawaii

Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 03:37:25 (PDT) Hay,



My name is Angie and my love Jay is Korean/French/Swedish. He has told me stories about growing up in isolation and lonliness on the east coast. He eventually moved to San Francisco and found acceptance there. I'm not saying that is the answer to your problems but I feel in life you may find some places more open minded.



Anyways just know you are beautiful!

Happy to know a Eurasian

www.bellastardancer@hotmail.com Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 01:28:07 (PDT) Hi, I don't think your experience growing up in a small town is different from a half asian person growing up in a big, diverse town. I am also half asian (1/2 Korean) and I grew up just outside of Washington, DC - where there is a lot of diversity, and I still faced (and still face) a lot of racism growing up here. I think that it's hard for all mixed race people - especially when different CULTURES are involved. When I was little my parents told me I was basically "white" and as a little kid I believed them, until I went to preschool and elementary school, when I found out I was asian in other people's eyes. Then, as I got even older, I wasn't seen as either, I was just half and half. I feel bad that your father left you, and ironically, today, I saw this news story about two half Vietnamese boys, whose mother in Vietnam, sent the boys to America because she was afraid about the reception the mixed race boys would receive in Vietnam. I think you should consider yourself unique - but not a "half-asian pride" as some people choose to advertise their "race". I am married to a Friulan-Italian, and we plan on having lots of kids to start a new "race" of people on the planet.:) I am really proud to be a member of a mixed race, a kind of unknown, unnamed, group of people, I have always tried not to look at a person's skin color to judge them, I have made friends with all colors and types of people. I never dated in high school and college - don't blame that on your looks. It sounds like you need to move out of that small town, though, and see the world, then you will meet more interesting people and look beyond skin colors. Many times, mixed race people have to endure being scorned by their relatives, but you can just send them to hell b/c they are racists, too pride to look beyond their own mirror.

Anderson-Scaravetti

Friday, July 26, 2002 at 20:11:26 (PDT) EuRaZn Fury



I am not a hapa, but I spent better part of my childhood in WV and Ohio w/o an azn soul in sight (late 60's and early 70's).



I don't remember experiencing overt racism except perhaps due to curiousity. Also, what helped was that we were members of a large church - where we were treated well - I even had a "girlfriend".



The best advise I can give you is that the "white" teenagers as well as thier parents are as much clueness as you are and that they can be had if you move with confidence and pride in yourself. Use your uniqueness as an advantage. Go to gym, beefup, or excel in school -these are otehr ways to get their respect.



Also, visit a large city like NYC, it'll open your eyes and you will feel at home. MalCome X (the Black Amercian activist) recounts an interesting personal experience when he first visited Africa - the native people there treated him as if his was "white" - because I presume he was an American and of some stature here...imagine that...being minority has nothing to do with your skin color...it's a state fo mind.



NYhomeboy

Wednesday, May 29, 2002 at 13:29:30 (PDT) I think that kind of disparaging attitude is nothing more than a product of defensive group politics, which unfortunately, every social clique exercises to some degree.



And it is a clique that your girlfriend belonged to, as there are many AAs, like myself, who are appreciative and accepting of both their cultures (and then some).



I can understand your concern though, as I don't think integrated AAs, either because of our numbers or by virtue of our integration, stand out enough to make this obvious. I'm certain that will change in the long run, if nothing but for the reason that it's the only direction the trend can run given the growing impact of multiculturalism on competitiveness and success in America.

AFIL

Saturday, May 25, 2002 at 14:39:16 (PDT) Curious Hapa,



[But, as for the WW they like you until they find out that your mother is from Asia and it is Sayonara!]



WW in Hawaii go gaga for hapa guys as do the waves of Asian chicks.

Heard that some Hawaii hapa brothas are getting chased after heaps of WW in California. So where is it that WW don't dig it when they find out your mother is from Asia?

Ah, forget em! Go for the gold!!!

Get some of that hapa lovin!



Confused Hapa

Saturday, May 25, 2002 at 10:36:29 (PDT) "I take it you're not too fond of AW/WM couples."



None of my business. But, as for the WW they like you until they find out that your mother is from Asia and it is Sayonara!



Curious Hapa

Thursday, May 23, 2002 at 12:50:13 (PDT) Skeptic,



I take it you're not too fond of AW/WM couples.

FYI- EuRaZn FuRy is not the product of an AW/WM, but a AM/WW couple.



Curious Hapa,



[Strange, I hear that Asian women want to marry white men but not Hapas, whom many despise, although their kids would be Hapas. Would that mean that they would not love their kids becuase they are Hapas as much as they would a "pure" white or "pure" Asian.]



Really...? Where in the world do these Asian women live? I've never met any like this. Often times they preferred hapas over White guys. At least in my case and other Hawaii Hapa brothas.

How strange that many of these women despise hapas. Where did this spite originate from? You have a point, why have hapa kids when you despise hapa guys?



Confused Hapa

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