The Jacob Wohl/Jack Burkman/false-sexual-misconduct-allegations-against-Robert-Mueller story from earlier this week is a strong contender for the dumbest story of 2018. There's a lot of competition, but the sheer level of incompetence displayed by Wohl and Burkman in their alleged plot is something to behold.

On Thursday, they held a press conference to detail the accusation (the accuser was supposed to be there, but decided against it), and, well, it was extremely dumb. To the lowlights, thanks to intrepid reporters Will Sommer, Oliver Darcy, Tierney Sneed and Jared Holt:

Wohl claimed protestors had been bused in (they had not):

Bussed in MOB pic.twitter.com/BSDYKXYlIc — Jacob Wohl (@JacobAWohl) November 1, 2018

Burkman compared his young colleague to, uh, Mozart:



Burkman continues to praise Wohl, who's 20: "Jacob is on of the brightest and most capable people i've ever met…Jacob's a lot smarter than I am." A heckler brings up Wohl's lifetime ban from futures trading: "He can't even open an eTrade account!" — Will Sommer (@willsommer) November 1, 2018

Burkman did not appear to deal well with the pressure of the moment:

Burkman's face is noticeably covered in sweat. It's dripping down his face. — Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy) November 1, 2018

Wohl would like you to stop photoshopping him into a corncob, please:

Wohl is fuming again that someone photoshopped him into a corncob: "One of them had a picture of corn!" — Will Sommer (@willsommer) November 1, 2018

Basic details appeared to be beyond Wohl and Burkman's grasp:

Burkman and Wohl appear to have no idea how to spell their client's first name. They insist it's Carolyn — but then after reporters ask them, they say it's Carolyne with an E. — Will Sommer (@willsommer) November 1, 2018

Wohl, touting the accuser's background, said she went to many schools around the world. Reporters in the room start cracking up — Tierney Sneed (@Tierney_Megan) November 1, 2018

Dumbest story of 2018? Dumbest story of 2018.