This year, Robert Mueller opened a probe into the worst collusion of the year: Arcade Fire and their marketing team. No one lets you down like the musicians you love. These are the tragedies of 2017.

Frank Ocean didn’t invite me to his 30th birthday party

Charli XCX’s “Boys” videoreleased in the worst year ever to celebrate boys

The Dirty Projectors album is like listening to your friend complain about breaking up with someone who was too good for him in the first place

Still can’t get my girlfriend to watch “Narcos” even though it was in a SZA song

Seems like Father John Misty had a good point; still not sure what it is

Photo by Dave J Hogan/Getty Images; treatment by Patrick Jenkins Dave J Hogan

Lil Yachty told me I look like George Costanza

Impossible to not read St. Vincent album title as MASSEDUCATION

Ed Sheeran still writing songs about having sex

LCD Soundsystem cover arthas Bob Ross rolling in his grave

When Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift broke up, did not expect he would be the one with the jams

Photo by C Flanigan/FilmMagic; treatment by Patrick Jenkins C Flanigan

Lana Del Rey’s witchcrafthas yet to remove Trump from office

Senator Kid Rocknot even close to the worst thing I can dream up at this point

Princess Nokia hasn’t released a song better than the video of her throwing soup on subway racist

Even if you have to change your name for legal purposes, adding (Sandy) to Alex G is (Awkward)

Diddy did not actually change his name to Brother Love

Photo by Michael Tran/FilmMagic; treatment by Patrick Jenkins Michael Tran