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It appears to be a case of a man getting wood at the sight of a wooden fence.

An elderly couple told a Scottish court this week they were surprised to see a man – who appeared to be drunk – pull his pants down, masturbate and simulate having sex with a fence and the hood of a minibus, reports the Dunfermline Press.

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David Bruce, 36, denies he committed an offence of public indecency on May 25.

George Nisbet, 76, told court he was walking his dog that day when the incident occurred and went inside his house.

From an upstairs window, he and his wife Kathleen Nisbet, 63, witnessed the man urinating against a wooden fence.

“He then started rubbing his private parts up and down on the fence. It was as if he was trying to have sex with the fence,” said George Nisbet.

“He threw himself in front of a minibus and started rubbing himself on it like he had been doing with the fence. His trousers fell down and he took a dive on the path of one of the houses.”