Movies ask a lot of us. They want us to believe that the same cop can be in the wrong place at the wrong time every day for his entire career, they want us to believe vampires roam among us and they want us to believe that children are cute and precocious (instead of miserable, shrieking poop harvesters). Suspension of disbelief is part of the contract you sign with a movie when you buy your ticket. And for the most part, I have no problem doing that. Sometimes, however, some totally absurd and unrealistic events just pull me out of the fantasy world and ruin the experience. And I'm not talking about the impossible fantastical stuff that is common in a science fiction or superhero flick. I will believe that getting bitten by a spider gives you super powers in a movie (and, indeed, life). I can accept a character doing or saying something that's specific to their fictional universe. It's when the characters do or say something that's specific to being actors in a movie that gets to me. Whenever someone makes an unreasonable decision simply because they're in front of a camera pretending to be a human, I call "bullshit," usually out loud, usually in a theater.

Well, I'm sick of it. That's why I've designed a series of products to apply to the real world. If we had these products, movies would finally make sense. You're welcome, movies.