Well, it's a day that ends in y so that must mean Representative Maxine Waters of California is here to show up on your little television show and let the whole place out.

Rep. Waters was a guest on All In with Chris Hayes last night and, honey, they weren't ready. There's going all in and then there's the laser surgery that Rep. Waters performed. Maxine Waters showed up on Chris Hayes' show like Dr. Bailey from Grey's Anatomy. She was like, "I'm scrubbed up and about to crack D.C.'s chest, boo. Scalpel!"

For his part Chris Hayes, bless him, spent the better part of the six minute interview failing to get a word in edgewise and succeeding in looking 100% shewk.

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His eyebrows are about to pop right off his face. Chris Hayes looks like he went to see Isabella Rossellini from Death Becomes Her in the middle of the segment because his face is tight.

This whole interview is a damn masterpiece. Rep. Waters backed a Snapple truck up to the studio doors and was like "I hope y'all are thirsty because I brought the tea."

It has to be seen to be believed:

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Honey.

She showed up, showed out, and snatched every weave in sight. Rep. Waters is placing sanctions on DC weaves; if you are still in possession of your weave please turn it in immediately to avoid prosecution.

MSNBC

Is that the face of someone who came to play? No, ma'am, it is not. Rep. Waters wants you to know that she is sick of all these Russian shenanigans and she doesn't care who knows it. She showed up like real life Olivia Pope. Chris Hayes asked her for an interview and she was like "How about I give you a five minute Shonda Rhimes monologue and then pull out a list of people who are trash to me? That sound good to you?"

She literally brought a list!

MSNBC

Honey, Maxine Waters will read you and then give you the transcript. When she pulled out her spectacles I completely fell out. She sat down at her Microsoft Word, opened a new document, titled it "These Russian-Helping Nincompoops Who I Don't Have Time For" and went to work. That little paperclip was like "Looks like you're writing a burn book. Do you need help?" Rep. Waters was like "This ain't my first rodeo, Clippy." When she finished she sent it to the printer down the hall, walked down the hall, realized it was at the other printer, went to that printer, folded it, put it in her purse and walked over to the studio just as pleased as can be.

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This is that face you make when you show up to an enemy's funeral and the preacher says "Would anyone like to share some fond remembrances?"

This is that face you make when someone tries to come for you and you've been saving petty up all day like it's Weight Watchers points.

Rep. Waters showed up in that studio with a testimony, y'all. She swore to read for filth, the whole filth and nothing but the filth.

MSNBC

The way she says "Putin," is a work of art. She says "Putin" with the kind of contempt you normally reserve for a hairdresser who burns your scalp while giving you a perm and then overcharges you.

She says "Putin" with the sort of incredulity that makes you remember just how out-of-pocket this whole situation is.

She says "Putin" like she wish a Russian bish would. Maxine Waters is about to grab a musket and her "readers" and take to the streets to fight these scumbags.

And she called them scumbags! Scumbags! I can't!

Chris Hayes couldn't either. Here's actual footage of him after that line:

SHEWK. Shewk-er T. Washington.

Chris Hayes: Who's a scumbag?

Maxine Waters: Who?! All of them! Michael Flynn, Reince Priebus, Rex Tillerson, Biff Tannen, Rolfe from Sound of Music, Moriarty!

This woman is Woodward and Bernstein all by her damn self. Get you a woman who can do both.

Watching her lay the place out, even I started to feel guilty. I was like "Did I collude with Russia? There's a lot of names on this list and she seems very angry. I mean, I bought gas once. Better turn myself in and beg her for mercy, just to be safe."

Rep. Waters is fresh out of mercy, honey. It wouldn't fit in her purse next to her reading glasses, her list of conspirators and her righteous indignation.

MSNBC

Where does she find the energy, y'all? She is trying to single-handedly strap this country to her back and carry it to safety. And, no, she doesn't care if the country wants to go or not. Rep. Waters is that Auntie who attacks your face with a wet wipe at every cookout and has a ninja-like ability to whip a comb out and run it through your hair before you can ever protest. She is not trying to have you out in these streets looking a fool and embarrassing her, America! You need to straighten up and act like you have some good sense before she calls your mother on you.

Rep. Waters is hosting a one-woman show called "Maxine, Fix My Country." She is going to show up on every news show, talk show, variety show, auto show, and dog show until these folks get their acts together.

You don't want to come for her. She is not the one.

Follow R. Eric Thomas on Twitter.

R. Eric Thomas R Eric Thomas is a Senior Staff Writer at ELLE.com, home of his daily humor column "Eric Reads the News," which skewers politics, pop culture, celebrity shade, and schadenfreude.

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