Click Here for more information on Time-Out's.

Silent Treatment is a technique often used by people who suffer from personality disorders, but it is also sometimes used by non-personality-disordered individuals when they are feeling angry.

The silent treatment is a classic form of passive aggressive confrontation. The silent treatment can last from as little as a few hours to months or even years.

Examples of The Silent Treatment:

For more than 24 hours, a mother speaks to every member of the family except one.

A husband is willing to talk to this friends on the phone but refuses to speak to his wife.

An employee openly talks to other co-workers but refuses to talk to one.

What it Feels Like:

The Silent Treatment is often designed to produce feelings of Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG) in people and successful in doing so.

Coping with The Silent Treatment:

The Silent Treatment is rarely a good approach to problem solving or problem resolution.

If you are on the receiving end of the silent treatment, it may be tempting to try to prod the person out of their silence. However, this is a form of control that rarely works. It is better to accept that the person is making a poor choice in their communication, accept that they have a right to be quiet and politely remove yourself from the "conversation" and the room if possible.

If you find yourself angry at another person and tempted to use the silent treatment on them, it is better to take the approach of having a healthy, constructive "Time-Out". You can give them a verbal "I" statement and then exit the conversation until you feel more productive, e.g. "I am feeling upset and don't want to talk right now. I'll discuss this with you tomorrow."

What NOT To Do:

Don't use the silent treatment on others. It rarely improves communication.

Don't escalate the situation or try to force a passive aggressive person who is using the silent treatment to snap out of it - you will likely turn them from passive aggressive to hostile aggressive.

Don't blame yourself for it. Silent Treatment is a poor choice of communication strategy and that is not your choice.

Don't stay in the same room or company of a person who is behaving in a passive aggressive way any longer than necessary.

Don't try to find a logical explanation for a personality-disordered person's strange behavior. IT's better to chalk it down to the mental illness and move on.

What TO Do: