A decade ago, pick-up artists were best-selling authors who schooled other men on how to attract women with a few simple tricks and turns of phrase. They sold themselves as female translators, who “got” those strange creatures from Venus. Think of them as the un-PG version of Joey from Friends.

One such tactic known as “negging” involved complimenting and insulting a woman in one stroke, to set yourself apart from other men while lowering her self-esteem.

Attitudes have since changed. As we ride the wave of fourth wave feminism and witness the rise of men’s rights activism, pick-up artistry seems archaic, heteronormative, and creepy. Women were approached as prey, rather than equals. Perhaps the pioneers could have hardly predicted how unnerving their work would now look.

The Game sold millions of copies following its release in 2005

Writer and journalist Neil Strauss was among the most high-profile figures in this world. In 2005, he released the autobiographical The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists in which he infiltrates and adopt the tactics of the so-called seduction community. The book chronicles his frustrations in failing to attract women, and his training at the hands of a master-seducer named Mystery. Strauss and a group of fellow pick-up artists ended up living together in a mansion called Project Hollywood, which eventually disbanded.

Describing “sarging”, or going on the pull, he writes: “A side effect of sarging is that it can lower one's opinion of the opposite sex.”

But it was a hit: making the New York Times Bestseller list and shifting 2.5million copies worldwide. The follow-up, Rules of the Game, which included a 30-day regime to follow to become better at dating, released in 2007 was also a best-seller.

What has changed since then? “Pretty much everything,” Strauss tells The Independent. “Fun marriage, a baby who’s always laughing, and most important, the one change that made it all possible, happier inside."

Feminist Quotes From Leading Men Show all 18 1 /18 Feminist Quotes From Leading Men Feminist Quotes From Leading Men John Legend “All men should be feminists. If men care about women’s rights, the world will be a better place. We are better off when women are empowered — it leads to a better society.” Getty Feminist Quotes From Leading Men Matt McGorry “I'm embarrassed to admit that I only recently discovered the ACTUAL definition of "feminism". The fact that the term is sometimes clouded with anything other than pure support and positivity in our society is very tragic. I believe in gender equality. Being a feminist is for both women AND men. I AM A FEMINIST. In for equality? 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The women who did work were treated as second-class citizens because it was a male-dominated society. That was a fact of life then. But it wouldn't be tolerated today, and that's quite right in my book... people look back on those days through a thick veil of nostalgia, but life was hard if you were anything other than a rich, powerful, white male." Getty Feminist Quotes From Leading Men Dalai Lama “I call myself a feminist. Isn’t that what you call someone who fights for women’s rights?” Getty Feminist Quotes From Leading Men Alan Alda "I think [misogyny] is like a disease that needs to be cured. And if we could eradicate polio, I don't see why we can't eradicate misogyny." Getty Feminist Quotes From Leading Men Andy Samberg "Since there have been men and women, there have been funny women... f***ing idiot-ass men keep saying that women aren't funny. It makes me crazy. I find it disgusting and offensive every time." Getty Feminist Quotes From Leading Men Barack Obama “We stand with women by fighting for economic security, protecting access to health care and supporting women’s leadership across the country.” Getty Feminist Quotes From Leading Men Kurt Cobain “Rape is one of the most terrible crimes on earth and it happens every few minutes. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape. Go to the source and start there.” Getty

Strauss is now in his mid-40s, and married with a two-year-old child. He has been described as a reformed pick-up artists, although he rejects this label.

“I’ve never described myself that way, but I’ve definitely read it a lot. It reads like the media wanting a narrative. It’s like describing someone in a relationship as a ‘reformed single person.’ At a certain age, I wanted to date and have a lot of sex. And at this age, I want to be in a relationship and have a lot of sex.”

Asked if he is a feminist, he replies: “Of course. I’d be worried about anyone who doesn’t believe that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.” As for meninism he adds: “Meninism isn’t a real movement. It’s a meme.”

While he has moved away from his theories in The Game, he’s still interested in human interaction. But instead of manipulating others, his sights are set on himself. In 2015, he released The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships in which he recounts his struggles to find and maintain a long-term, monogamous relationship after being a key player (no pun intended) in the pick-up scene.

“I started off writing The Truth with a clear message. Relationships are broken in our society. There is so much infidelity, divorce, abuse, and unhappiness. There must be a better way to live together. What I discovered instead is that it wasn’t relationships that were broken, it was me that was broken."

“I still think it’s crucial to understand psychology, social dynamics, and yourself, and to always work to be a better person. If not for attraction, then for business, relationships, and your own happiness. So for those looking to be the best versions of themselves, the work is an inside job.

"It’s about finding and eliminating the false beliefs that hold you back: that you are not enough, that you are not loveable, that you don’t fit in. Even during The Game days, it was clear that most people’s problems were not with women, they were in their heads.

“The Truth is the story of the intense journey I took to attempt alternatives to monogamy, overcome my fears of intimacy, and to understand the deep psychology behind why we cheat, why we stay with partners who are bad for us, and how to be happily committed. I left a path in the book for others to follow who are facing similar relationship challenges. I’m married now and our son is about to turn two, so even if the book doesn’t work for anyone else, at least it worked for us.”

Looking back on the period of his life dominated by The Game, what stands out for him isn't half as titillating as you might think. "The most memorable moments I had were, ironically, the strong male friendships," he says. "The so-called seduction community was a world all about women that was completely devoid of women."

"For someone like myself, who was a loner growing up, and who was raised mostly by two strong women, it was the first time I had such deep and honest male friendships. As the film of it is being made, one of the things the writers have all picked up on is that the arc of the book is my relationship not with women, but with my mentor in the book, Mystery."

As an author who shaped how countless men approached relationships, does he regret writing it?

"The book is a document of what I experienced, thought, and felt at the time, so as a book that was true to who I was then, there’s nothing I could regret. I’m sure if I read it today, there’s a lot that would make me cringe," he admits.

"What I’ve noticed is that most people who buy the book to change their behaviour think it’s a destination, but instead it becomes the beginning of a journey that takes them somewhere different than they anticipated. We often feel a need to protect people from making mistakes, but if we do that, they never get to learn for themselves."