The Greatest Videogame Poem of all Time

At our best we proclaim

Handsome fighters never lose a battle!

But it can’t always be so

Some days our Princess is in another Castle

We can’t all be heroes

Sometimes the Baddest Dudes

Don’t save presidents kidnapped by ninjas

But deal with co-workers bad attitudes

Our daily routine might not

Be filled with adventure and mystery

But remember even great explorers

Sometimes die of dysentery

Ok, so you photocopy or email all day

Or answer phones all night

But remember, you’ve commanded armies, conquered worlds

So believe in yourself, finish the fight

Keep going, get the rings, grab the flag

Face each day like world 1-2

That ominous budda-budda-budda

Holds no fear for you

The Power, Wisdom and Courage

Can be united, Hyrule’s flag unfurled

And the right man in the wrong place

Can make all the difference in the world

Don’t forget to bring player two

It’s dangerous to go alone

A good friend can make a Monday Water Temple

Feel like a Friday Green Hill Zone

When they call you a miserable pile of secrets

Don’t fuss, don’t fret

Just tell them “We’ve both said a lot of things,

You’re going to regret”

Because war… war never changes

So don’t let them ruin your fun

Step away walk on, and would you kindly

Praise the sun

Each day on your journey

Let all four pieces of your heart be moved

And never rage quit

Till the justice of our culture is prooved

Never be afraid to check the quest list

Help all the NPC’s you can

Whether you walk alone

Or go home to be a family (wo)man

And take the time to thank the dreamers

Whether Nintendo, Capcom, Rockstar or Clover

They taught us to be heroes every day

And never, ever be Game Over