We all know just how hateful and intolerant Star Wars is. Each movie is littered with white supremacist undertones and hatred towards ethnic and sexual minorities. Unfortunately, change doesn’t seem to be on the way, especially after seeing the release of the episode 9 trailer. It’s still sexist. It’s still racist. It’s still homophobic. Now is probably a good time to seek out your nearest safe space, good reader, we’re about to explore the dark side of this bigoted trailer.



We’re starting off on a very low note here, the main character is yet again a straight white individual. I for one, am sick and tired of this long overdone trope and would prefer a more inclusive character front and center. Don’t get me wrong it is great to see a strong independent woman smashing the patriarchy, but it’s 2019 after all. We need to do better, and hiring less white people and more ethnic and sexual minorities needs to be done.

One of the first persons of undetermined gender to see the trailer was Greyson Thinknot who got really excited about it, but not in the way you would expect. He’s what ze had to say:

Well well well, what’s all this then. I saw that there trailer I did. Definitely guilty of wrong think, no denying that. No transgenders, pansexuals, Muslims or Greysexual Novigenders anywhere at all! To be honest lad, I was shaking watching it. But by the hair on the Queen’s knickers am I excited to arrest anyone caught committing wrong thought by supporting this bigoted film! Greyson Thinknot, Chief of the South Yorkshire Thought Police interrogation unit.

This trailer really shows how Hollywood has a white supremacy problem and we call for the total shutdown of Star Wars episode 9. Fellow Liberals, we must rise up and protest this misogynistic, racist, hateful, xenophobic propoganda! Only then will Hollywood finally give in to our completely fair and rational demands.

On the bright side, at least Chewbacca grants the viewer some well needed Furry representation and the possible return of Palpatine allows for Star Wars to finally show some more LGBTQRSTUV+ solidarity.

