(Permanent Musical Accompaniment To This Post)

Being our semi-regular weekly survey of what's goin' down in the several states where, as you know, the real work of government' gets done, and where you know in your head that we're all misled.

In case you were wondering, as I certainly was, the National Solar Observatory in New Mexico is still closed, and the FBI is still out there doing...something. From The Albuquerque Journal:

According to the facility’s website, the observatory and surrounding area are closed until further notice “due to unforeseen circumstances.” “The Association of Universities for Research in Astronomy is addressing a security issue … and has decided to temporarily vacate the facility as a precautionary measure,” AURA spokeswoman Shari Lifson said in a statement. “We have no further comment at this time.”

Well, that certainly will settle things down on the ol' Intertoobz.

Jim Cole, Photographer / Alamy Stock Photo

We move on to Georgia, and a somewhat more terrestrial bit of sadistic foolishness. From CNN:

The superintendent of the Georgia School for Innovation and the Classics says a third of the 100 "consent to paddle forms" that have been returned have granted permission to the school. "A parent can either give consent for us to use that as a disciplinary measure or they can deny consent," Jody Boulineau, superintendent of the Hephzibah, Georgia-based school, told WRDW. "There's no obligation. It's not required."

This does not seem classically innovative at all. In fact, it sounds like old-fashioned child abuse.

What the CNN story doesn't mention is that, if a parent were to say, "No, you morons. You don't get to beat my kid," then the parent has to consent to a five-day suspension of their child. So this combines beating the student with bullying the parents. I sure am glad we have charter schools that are allowed to experiment with new pedagogical techniques without interference from those fuddy-duddy teachers unions. From WRDW:



The new policy was approved by the board of directors in June, according to Julie Hawkins, principal of Georgia School for Innovation and the Classics. "It is a choice made by the parent as one option among many in the discipline policy, and is reserved for serious, repetitive offenses," said Hawkins, who emphasized, "Again, the decision would be made by the parent." The form records a parent's consent allowing administrators to hit their children with a wooden paddle and reads: "A student will be taken into an office behind closed doors. The student will place their hands on their knees or piece of furniture and will be struck on the buttocks with a paddle." No more than three licks should be given the fully clothed child, according to the form.

The reason for the change in policy is not a matter of school-wide discipline problems, Hawkins said in an email. "The ability to control the students is not a factor in our school," she said. "We have an average of 20 students per class, and we have very high expectations for behavior. We work with the students and parents to maintain a learning environment with very few disruptions."

So, don't worry. This is a Charter School, so there are no disciplinary problems but we want your permission to beat your child anyway, just as another tool in the bag, doncha know? And, as always, education reform is all about the kids.

Let's skip on up to Indiana, which has given us the only vice president we have, and through which, despite the best effort of Mike and Mother, Hell's Highway runs. From WISH-TV:

Satanic Temple members said they have already cleaned up their stretch twice this year along U.S. 421 near State Road 32. That's not enough to win over Jill Konija, whose property line is just a few feet from one of the signs. "We're obviously believers in God," Konija said. "It's like advertising a Satanic church in front of our home." Konija said the first few feet of the roadside grass belong to the state. An INDOT spokesperson said the sign will stay as long as the Satanic Temple agrees to keep cleaning up. Mary Rosswurm, who lives across the street, said she's concerned about the sign affecting her property value. "There could maybe only be one other sign that's worse that that to have up from your house," Rosswurm said. "Which would be the KKK (Ku Klux Klan)."

Good for the IDOT folks for sticking to their principles. I didn't realize that your average devil-worshipper was a neat freak, but this job is full of surprises like that.

We skip on down to Louisiana, where the state attorney general finds himself bedeviled by abuse victims, and their grand juries, and their slandering Holy Mother Church for publicity, and their right to be in a movie with Rachel McAdams, and their going to the newspapers trying to get him to do something. Jeff Landry has been criticized for not launching the kind of grand-jury proceedings that have been initiated elsewhere in the wake of the exposure of massive wrongdoing by a grand jury in Pennsylvania.

Jeff Landry AP

In response to the criticism, Landry's office released a statement that went sailing over the top by several miles.

To insinuate that because I am a Catholic that I would not protect the children of this State from a child predator is outrageous! As a father and a Catholic, I am deeply offended. This article by the Times Picayune is pure unadulterated religious bigotry which we have not seen in this State since the hey-day of the Ku Klux Klan.

In truth, Landry does seem to face jurisdictional and legal tangles that other AGs in other states do not face. (In Louisiana? Who could've figured?) But nowhere in the story does anyone accuse Landry of shirking his duties on religious grounds. They simply say that he is less creative in his approach to these crimes than he has been in other investigations. The Klan? I mean, honestly, dude.

And we conclude, as is our wont, in the great state of Oklahoma, where Blog Official Topsoil Wrangler Friedman of the Plains brings us the tale of a beautiful new park gifted to Tulsa by wealthy citizens where people are now fighting about guns, because gun-humpers live for this stuff. From the Tulsa World:

Gathering Place’s handgun policy is not in keeping with River Parks Authority’s policy, or with the policies of the city and county parks systems. Each of those public entities follows state law, which supersedes local ordinances as it relates to handgun regulations. The law prohibits individuals from carrying legally licensed concealed or unconcealed handguns into public structures, including courthouses and schools, but carves out an exception for public parks. “If a person has a license to carry, they can do that in River Parks, simple as that,” said Matt Meyer, executive director of River Parks Authority. “Unless it is a gated, ticketed event like Oktoberfest, where it is a private party.”

Not so fast there, Quick Draw.

Gathering Place officials declined to comment on the park’s gun policy Tuesday, instead citing a statement it issued Saturday night.

“Over many years, we sought input from the Tulsa community on how to ensure Gathering Place is a safe, welcoming and inclusive environment for Tulsans and their families. The community responded emphatically that firearms at the park are not conducive to creating this kind of environment, which is why they are not permitted. Park security and the Tulsa Police Department are working together to ensure these rules are clearly communicated and consistently enforced,” the statement says.

Safe? Welcoming? Inclusive? Sure, but what's all that besides, you know, freedom! Liberty! Tell Junior to stay away from the grill and the AKs, dammit.

This is your democracy, America. Cherish it.

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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