The one football tournament where Scotland is ranked top Scotland are the most successful football nation in the world. They are ahead of England and Argentina, while Germany, the […]

Scotland are the most successful football nation in the world.

They are ahead of England and Argentina, while Germany, the Netherlands and Brazil all trail in their wake.

Spain? Nowhere to be seen.

No need to pinch yourself, you have not woken up in an alternate universe.

Despite failing to qualify for the last nine major international tournaments, Scotland tops the Unofficial Football World Championships (UFWC).

Clutching at straws? Perhaps, but with 86 wins from 148 matches, dating back to 1872, they lead second-placed England by 13 victories.

How can Scotland top any football rankings system?

“The first thing many people say when they first encounter the UFWC is, ‘how on earth are Scotland top of the rankings?’, says Paul Brown, founder of the UFWC.

How it works “The UFWC pitches real international teams into a continuous series of boxing-style title matches. Winners of UFWC title matches become title-holders, and Unofficial Football World Champions, and move up the rankings table.”

“The simple answer is that they’ve won more title matches than any other nation, largely due to the fact that only the British home nations played international football during the early days. England are second for the same reason.

“But then you have Argentina coming up in third place, who look most likely to knock Scotland off the top of the rankings, even if that takes a few more years.

“A good run of results can shoot a side up the rankings. North Korea’s unbeaten run put them into the top 20, and the likes of Angola and Zimbabwe are in the top 30.”

The current unofficial world champions? Bolivia

Brown devised the rankings system and set up UFWC in 2003, by combing through results, dating back to the first international encounter between Scotland and England in 1872.

Naturally, the game finished a draw, with England winning the second meeting three months later to become the first ‘world champions’.

“Watching North Korea’s matches against the likes of Chinese Taipei and Turkmenistan was fascinating.” Paul Brown

The current unofficial world champions are Bolivia. They will defend their title against Peru at the end of August.

“It was just for fun and out of curiosity really,” Brown explains. “I heard on a radio phone-in someone ask if Scotland became unofficial champions when they beat official champions England in 1967. So I asked myself: who would be the current unofficial champions?

“It turned out that several people had attempted to find out, and some had gone back much further than 1967. So it was a case of pulling all of the stats together, with the idea being to go right back to 1872 and the first ever international match.”

Since England’s win in 1873 the tag of unofficial world champion has changed hands and continents, the title having been up for grabs 930 times.

What’s it for? “The UFWC doesn’t aim to usurp FIFA or supplant the World Cup any time soon, but it does neatly fill the four-year void between the official tournaments, and there is a good amount of enjoyment to be had in watching an apparently meaningless international friendly match with the knowledge that the victor will become the latest title-holder.” – UFWC website

The winner holds on to the belt until they are defeated in a FIFA accredited international ‘A’ match, which includes friendlies, extra-time, penalties and second legs – much to the chagrin of some followers.

“Some people do complain that friendly matches, or extra time, or penalties, or second legs shouldn’t count, and there are often queries about particularly obscure matches that might be on the fringes of FIFA’s control, and might not feature A-teams,” says Brown.

“I regularly have to remind correspondents that the UFWC is just a bit of fun. Having said that, I think we have maintained the ‘integrity’ of the competition by sticking to the rules that were drawn up in 2003 to decide what counts as a UFWC title match and what doesn’t.”

Netherlands Antilles to North Korea

UFWC has spawned a book, which is now out of print, a trophy named after CW Alcock who initiated international football and even a mascot, Hughie the green dinosaur.

Only eight nations have won the World Cup but 48 have held the UFWC title.

Of those, perhaps none is more obscure than the Netherlands Antilles, which has led to Brown relying on dodgy internet streams to keep up with the more esoteric clashes.

“They beat Mexico in 1963. The Antilles don’t even exist any more – they were officially dissolved in 2010, and were replaced in FIFA’s record books by Curacao.

“But my favourite of recent times was North Korea. They were undefeated champions for the whole of 2012. Watching their matches against the likes of Chinese Taipei and Turkmenistan was fascinating.

“And seeing them celebrate wins by tossing their manager in the air – just like Chelsea did with Conte – while Queen’s ‘We Are The Champions’ played over the tannoy was just brilliant, and I think gave a rare insight into the importance of football in such a secretive and usually restrained nation.”

“Sometimes, for very obscure matches, we’ll be the only English language outlet to post a match report, often within minutes of the final whistle,” Brown adds.

“In any case, UFWC fans follow matches on Twitter and Facebook, so there’s always a flurry of excitement over matches and results.”