LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Substitute teacher Mr Ticehurst became another failing of the education system this week, gifting year 9 student Marek Majchrowski with a nickname for life during a botched roll call.

A first generation Australian, Majchrowski (pronounced Mik-roff-ski) is used to people having trouble pronouncing his Polish surname but was unprepared for the absolutely appalling display of roll call from Mr Ticehurst and the lingering effects it would have on his life.

“Mark – sorry Marek. Marek Maj…Maji?” stuttered the full-time substitute.

Majchrowski’s disgruntled assertions of attendance were drowned out by the growing murmur of laughter which only increased when class power-broker Dominic French cried out “Aw g’day Maji!” and lead the class in a roaring chant of the new nickname.

“Maji! Maji! Maji!”

Witnesses state substitute teacher Mr Ticehurst did little to control the class during this chant, offering instead a weak smile to suggest that this was a funny misunderstanding and not a costly mistake that would follow young Marek to his grave.

Expert estimate the new nickname is here to stay after Majchrowski asked that his friends stop calling him by his new moniker.

“The worst thing he could do is ask for them to stop calling him that,” remarked bullying expert Edwin “Balls Head” Ball.

“Trust me.”

Following the initial incident, it has been reported the new nickname has given birth to other titles such as ‘Noodle Boy’ and ‘2-Minute Maj’ a reference to the producers of 2-Minute Noodles, Maggi.

More to come.