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Loneliness is a normal part of being human, said Newall. “What we need to be concerned about is when it becomes chronic. It starts to really impact the way you see the world. If people experience failures in making and keeping friends, they start to withdraw,” she said.

“It’s an emotion that all humans have. Loneliness is important, like all emotions. It tells us that something isn’t right. That makes us aware that maybe we can change things.”

Sullivan agrees. She recalls a recent conversation with an Indigenous scholar who told her that “loneliness is a teacher.”

“I stopped for a moment. And I thought: ‘It’s teaching us that we need to get out, to reach out to friends or family,'” said Sullivan.

“We may not be able to get rid of it because we’re humans. We may not want to get rid of it because it may be a necessary experience. It may be the cue to an individual that they need to engage. Maybe we have to learn to be alone. Learn how to talk about it when we feel lonely, to minimize the pain. Or to embrace it sometimes. Introspection may be an opportunity.”

Roberts still considers himself to be a work in progress. He has friends he feels are as close as family.

“I’m at the point of my life where I have to start implementing changes or I face rapid decline,” he said. “I have to resist the urge to think things aren’t going to get better. It’s easy to fall into morose, self-pitying despair.”

This article was written with the support of a journalism fellowship from The Gerontological Society of America, Journalists Network on Generations and the Silver Century Foundation.