The Red Crocus (chapter 3)

I would like to thank the anonymous source of my cover art, which is exactly how I pictured her in my head.

Mpsantiago: that question will be answered in this chapter.

Cyber Dynasty: I had not heard of Cosmic Son's fanfic 'The Powers that Be' until your review, so I read it and I am now following {I already have a ton of stories I am following, so thanks for that ;-) }. It's a good story and I recommend everyone go check it out. I can see some similarities, though I'm going in a different direction. A small amount of the inspiration for this story comes from Assassins Creed Unity.

"Return to the castle Kai," Anna said as she startled the servant awake by climbing into the carriage earlier than expected.

Kai snapped the reins and the two horses took off at a steady trot. After a couple of minutes the man looked back through an open window. "Is everything all right Princess, I know it's not for me to pry?

"Everything is fine, Vicky was just really tired, that's all."

"My wife throws out that excuse a lot too."

"EWWW, Kai I don't want to think about you and Gerta like that. The two of you are like a second pair of parents to me. Besides, you're like elderly and shit, you've got to be at least thirty eight or something."

"I'm forty one, your highness," Kai said masking the irritation of being considered elderly.

"Yeah, like I said, elderly," Anna said nonchalantly with no malice, like it was simply a neutral fact. "Forty one, damn really, no wonder you're bald."

"I have a certain hyperactive Princess who shall remain nameless to thank for that."

Anna gave him a raspberry and then a yelp as she hit the top of her head on the celling as Kai hit a bump just a bit too quickly. "Kai, what gives? You know to slow down when we reach the bridge." Anna whined out.

"Sorry your highness, I must have had a senior moment," the portly servant responded while wearing a smile that Anna could not see."

BANG, BANG, BANG.The reports from three musket blasts filled the night air.

"What the hell was that, gunfire?" Anna shouted as she opened her side door to look out over the fjord.

"Once again, Your Highness, I must ask that you not hang out of the door while the carriage is in motion."

Any other time, Anna would have commented on how pretty the moon light reflecting off of the water was. As for now she only noticed the light from one of the windows in the building on a small island in the middle of the bay that was about fifty feet from the bridge.

"Hey that's the Royal Treasury complex, isn't it?" Anna asked.

"Yes your highness, perhaps you should leave this to the City Watch," Kai suggested as he turned back to see that the Princess was already in her costume and was adjusting her wide brimmed caviler hat.

"Hey Kai is my feather in straight?" Anna asked about the red ostrich plume that stuck out of her hat.

"Yes your highness, like the musketeers of old. Shall I come to a stop after we clear the bridge?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Anna asked as she stood and leaned partially out of the still moving vehicle.

"Shall I wait for you?" Kai asked knowing that he could not talk Anna out of what she was planning to do.

"No, I don't want a carriage with the seal of the Crown Princess on the side anywhere near this. Please return to the castle." Anna started to twirl her grappling hook.

"Understood Princess."

"Oh, and Kai; do you think I should tell Elsa and Kristoff about Vicky?" Anna asked as she was getting ready to throw her grappling hook and swing out of the carriage.

"I think you will know the answer to that when the time is right." Kai answered, accustomed to the nineteen year old's non sequiturs.

"Well here I go. Smoke me a kipper I'll be back for breakfast," The Red Crocus said with a smile leaping into the air from the carriage, swinging on a thin black rope.

Kai could hear the girl shout "weeeeeeeeee!" as her cape fluttered in the wind.

…

Sven snorted as he pulled the unlikely couple in to the clearing. The noise made a dozing Elsa lift her head from Kristoff's shoulder. Giving her head a shake; Elsa rejoined the waking world and then yelped as her lover placed his hands at her waist and abruptly lifted her out of the sled.

"A warning next time, honey," Elsa said as she smoothed out her dress.

The big mountain man smiled as 'boulders' of various size started rolling around in circles and figure eights with the two young blondes in the middle.

"Kristoff's back… yea" Could be heard in unison; the whole area was in an uproar of joy until one troll pointed at Elsa accusingly.

"Hey what's she doing here?"

"Yea, hey your little sister broke our Kristoff's heart." Another troll said in a huff.

"She didn't mean to." Elsa replied; instinctively defending Anna while nervously playing with her braid"

"Come on guys, I'm not mad about Anna. I've moved on anyway."

"Oh yeah, then how come you hid behind the aspen tree crying like a little bitch for a week." Yet another troll blurted out.

Elsa looked over to her boyfriend and saw the look of shame on his face. She put her arm around his shoulder and whispered "Her loss is my gain, I love my sister to death, but she is a damn fool for dumping you. You are mine Kristoff Bjorgman, and I love you; understand?"

"Yes your majesty."

The Queen slapped his arm again. "Don't call me that in private."

"We're not in private," Kristoff replied with a smug grin.

"You know what I mean."

"Kristoff, sweetie you're home," His adopted troll mother Bulda called out, exiting a cave only big enough for her species.

Kristoff picked her up and hugged her. "Yeah mom and I have great news."

"Oh, tell us son."

"I'm engaged to be married."

"YEA!" All the assembled trolls shouted and started rolling around in excitement until they all screeched to a halt, when Bulda asked "To whom, son?"

"To me," Elsa answered for him as she took his hand into her own.

"Ooooooooo" they all said in unison

"Hey wait, what's to stop you from hurting him like your sister did. We don't want to spend another week listening to Kristoff weep like a little girl who's Barbies got stolen behind the aspen tree again."

"Hey Dorian, shut up before I come over there and kick you. Kristoff said as he shook his fist at the overly blunt troll.

Elsa then did the one thing no one, not even Kristoff, suspected- she walked over to Bulda and took a knee and bowed her head. "Bulda, ma'am, I do not come to you as the Queen of Arendelle but as a woman who is in love with your son."

"Elsa… no you don't have to do that…" Kristoff said, but his words fell on deaf ears.

"We have been together for six months. Two weeks ago Kristoff proposed to me and I said yes. I know that my sister breaking up with him was painful, but I'm grateful that she did. We started to spend time together, and well one thing led to another and now I can't picture a life that doesn't have him in it. So we would like your blessing."

Bulda reached up and gave the kneeling Elsa a hug. "Of course my dear, just be good to my sweet little man."

"The aspen tree will never be needed again," Elsa answered.

"Oh, I'm sure he can still find a use for it," Bulda laughed out.

Kristoff started waving with his hands and mouthing the word no to his mom.

"Really, how?" Elsa asked curiously.

"Oh that was the tree he was hiding behind, the first time I caught him masturbating," Bulda said with a sweet voice.

Elsa looked back to Kristoff with a smile as the ice harvester hid his face with his hands. "Well I'm off to commit seppuku, come on Sven I need you to be my second."

Elsa stood up and pulled the man into a hug while kissing his cheek.

"So does he still have his little problem?" Bulda asked Elsa a second before a nervous Kristoff blurted out denials.

"Problem, there's no problem."

"Yeah there's a problem," One troll said

"Shut up," Kristoff said in an annoyed voice.

"Oh there's definitely a problem." another called out to Elsa who had her head cocked to the side in confusion as the trolls started to dance and sing.

"Oh he practiced with his hand, he practiced with a stump, but none the less he's a one pump chump."

"Stop, stop it you bastards," Kristoff said aloud, and was promptly ignored by the trolls.

"It's not nerves; he's not in a slump. Be warned, he's a one pump chump."

"Oh you can sing and dance, he'll profess his heart"three small trolls sung in soprano."But when you get to bed it'll be over before it starts" a round troll sung in bass.

"I hate you; I hate you all."

"Oh you can search far and wide, the expanse of every nation. But there is nothing you can do about his premature ejaculation."

"Oh my," Elsa said lifting her hand to her mouth.

"Now don't have a spasm, but Elsa it's up to you if you ever want to reach orgasm," a high pitched female troll harmonized.

"He suffers from a hex, and the only reason you don't notice is because you're still new to sex," the group sang as one.

Elsa was now turning beet red. The Queen looked over and saw Kristoff sitting behind the aspen tree sulking and started to walk over, not hearing the final line.

"Please be patient, don't be quick to dump. Kristoff's a good man, even though he's a one pump chump."

The platinum blonde put her hand on the ice harvester's shoulder and gave the most reassuring smile. "We'll work it out."

…

Anna landed on the ledge outside and to the right of the window, standing with her back pressed up against the wall. She could hear a weasel-like voice calling out orders.

"Remember gold is too heavy to make a priority, we want diamonds and other precious gemstones… no you imbecile Speciedaler notes are almost worthless now; a hundred of those and two Weselton Skillings will get you a cup of coffee. "

"What about the Arendelle Skillings, boss?"

BANGAnna's eyes went wide at the sound of a pistol being fired.

"The rest of you take note, if gold is too much to be bothered with then why would I want copper coins. Besides they all have the face of that stupid Princess stamped on them, seriously who gets engaged to someone they just met."

"Motherfucker!" Anna crashed through the window shoulder first.

A storm of glass rained on to four people standing and one lying on the floor dead as the Red Crocus flew through the window in a forward flip landing on her feet with sword in hand. Anna pointed the tip of her saber at the quartet and put on her deep gravel voice "Surrender Evil doers, you have no hope in defeating the Red Crocus."

"You should use your real voice dear; I know you're a girl." Anna was shocked to hear, she looked at something even more shocking; a man wearing what appeared to be footie pajamas that were dyed yellow, green, red, and blue with a cap that ended in four thick tails going out in each direction with a mask covering his face. And just to top of the ridiculousness level the man was holding a marotte that had a head wearing a miniature version of the multi colored cap in one hand and a flintlock pistol in the other.

"Your cape flew up as you did that cute somersault through the window, and I know a woman's butt when I see it."

"Rather observant for a weirdo in a onesie." Anna replied in her normal voice (but none of the regular Anna bubbliness).

"Was that supposed to be wit, my dear? well at least you tried. The costumed villain replied in a polite tone.

"I will shove my foot straight up your ass, you smug jackoff." Anna Eyes cut low as she started toward him.

"Who are you?"

"Ah excuse my manners, I am the Jester And these are the henchmen that are going to kill you." The Jester then turned to address his men "The one who makes the kill strike gets an extra ten percent."

The three men wore matching domino masks and black pants with striped shirts that shared the Jester's color palate drew their swords and lunged at the Crocus. Dodging the one on the left, Anna caught him with a left hook dropping him to the floor. Within the same series of movements the Crocus plunged her blade into the thigh of the one in the middle; he let out a scream as she jumped into the air landing a spinning heel kick to the last one's jaw, knocking him out cold as well.

"Ready to give up laughing boy. Your pistol is empty and your men are somewhat indisposed for the moment," Anna asked smugly as she pointed her sword at the Jester.

The villain hit a button on his marotte and a two foot blade slid out. "Not quite yet, my dear" he said in a charming voice and then rushed at the Red Crocus with a forward flip of his own that landed with their swords meeting with a sharp sounding 'clank'.

…

Sitting In the relative privacy of Grande Pabbie's dining room Elsa kissed Kristoff's cheek and whispered into his ear "I'm really not worried about it sweetheart".

The ice harvester sighed and put his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. "I think it's one of the reasons Anna dumped me. She always said that it didn't matter, but to be truthful Anna knows a lot more about sex then I do… she was my first time." Kristoff finished off the last part with a look of embarrassment while pulling out a chair for Elsa, and she noticed it.

"Darling you were my first time, and once again her loss is my gain." Elsa thought about it some more and cringed. So everything he does to me was, taught to him by my little sister! One of these days the two of us are going to sit down and discuss exactly what she was up to during those thirteen years.

"Dinner is served" Grande Pabbie called out as he and Bulda walked out of another chamber of his personal cave (presumably the kitchen).

The two trolls were both wearing white aprons and Pabbie's had 'KISS THE COOK' written on the front that went quite well with the tall chef's hat on his head. Bulda placed her steaming pan on the table Kristoff and Elsa were sitting at the same time Grand Pabbie sat his plate down. In an almost choreographed movement, the Trolls removed the lids of their respective dishes and shouted "voila!"

Kristoff's mouth started to water while Elsa's eyes started to bug out,"What kind of disgusting shit do they even eat."

Grande Pabbie and Bulda had taken their seats and had already begun to dig in along with Kristoff who was reaching for a bottle of odd red paste. The Queen did not want to be rude but this was the strangest meal she had ever seen.

"Dig in dear, I know how you young ladies like to keep your selves lean, but you do need to put some meat on those bones," Bulda said to Elsa with a laugh.

"MOM!" Kristoff shouted in embarrassment.

"Um no it's ok, actually I've never had this before; what is it called?" the Queen looked over the mystery meal before her.

Pabbie chuckled and stood from his stool and started to point "These are bacon cheese burgers, this is macaroni and cheese, and those are deep fried onion rings.

"It's really good. Mom do we have anything to drink?"

"Let me check, "Bulda said as she walked back to the kitchen.

"I assume that these bacon cheese burgers go with a red." Elsa placed a few onion rings next to the macaroni on her plate.

"No, sorry dear we are fresh out of wine. Kristoff we have Sprite, Coke, and Mountain Dew."

"I'll have a Coke and a Sprite for Elsa." Kristoff answered back

Elsa noticed her fiancé chug the glass of brown liquid like it was pure water and then took a sip of the clear bubbly fluid before her; it was slightly less effervescent than champagne and tasted of lemons.

"Trolls eat the strangest things"Elsa took a cautionary bite of an onion ring.

About an hour later the four of them were in a living room of sorts with two couches facing one another, each had a plate of desert in their hand. Pabbie sat next to his daughter on one while Kristoff sat on the other with Elsa in his lap.

"Do you like it?" Bulda asked Elsa who was almost finished with the odd green pie, which to her surprise tasted just as good as dinner had.

"Yes, I do not know what this is but I would love to have the recipe for my chef."

"Key Lime pie, dear."

"So how is Anna taking all of this?" Pabbie asked the young couple.

Elsa and Kristoff looked at each other nervously.

"Ahh. You haven't told her," Bulda observed.

"We are going to tomorrow evening," Elsa stated defensively. feeling a bit guilty for keeping Anna in the dark for as long as she had.

"Yeah tomorrow, or maybe in five years, you know no rush," Kristoff blurted out, and then received a smack to the back of the head from Elsa.

"We are telling her tomorrow. My sweet baby sister doesn't keep secrets from me, so I won't keep them from her," Elsa stated in a matter of fact tone that meant she was serious. "I'll spend the whole day getting her in a good mood, we are a little overdue for a sister day anyway."

"But she'll beat me up… more then she does already." Kristoff said in an almost whine.

"Then I will put ice on your bruises and hold you, while calling you a big wimp. Seriously, she is five feet tall and weighs ninety three pounds soaking wet with rocks in her pockets. How hard could she possible hit you?"

…

"Ahh!" the Jester screamed as he hit the ground after Anna's surprise left caught him in the jaw, knocking him back ten feet.

With a surprising amount of dexterity the villain rolled backwards onto his shoulders and propelled himself back upright. With his sword in hand, the Jester made a forward slash at the Crocus that was immediately parried with a downward stroke. Lunging forward Anna thrust her blade into his shoulder and followed up with a kick to the side of his knee, bringing the Jester to the ground again.

"Are you ready to give up evildoer, or would you like me to kick your ass some more?" Anna pointed her saber at her opponent.

With a confident smile the Jester looked up, "Young lady, this has been a most entertaining evening but I'm afraid that I'll be bringing this skirmish to an end now." Without warning he raised his hand and fired a bolt from a small crossbow mounted to the wrist of his uninjured arm straight at Anna's heart.

"Well that's cute, I'm totally getting one of these" the Red Crocus commented as she examined the small bolt that she had caught in her hand an inch before it reached her heart.

With a look of apprehension the Jester performed a backwards tumble that brought him to his feet. "Until next time Crocus." The villain then ran out of the room and into the hallway, realizing that he was outmatched.

"There isn't going to be a next time!" Anna started to run after him.

Taking a corner the Jester ran into another room and straight out the window.

"Goddamn he's fast," Anna said aloud to no one in particular as she entered the room just in time to see the Jester's foot disappear as he started to climb onto the ten story building's roof.

With a burst of speed the Princess was out the window climbing after him. "Get back here, so I can beat you up some more and bring you to justice!" she shouted in rage at the fleeing villain.

"I'm sure you get all the boys with that attitude," The Jester retorted with a laugh as he climbed on to the roof and then started to run again.

"Not half as many boys as you do!" Anna fired back as she then made it onto the roof and took off after the criminal.

Realizing that the hero would catch up with him soon enough, the Jester played his last card by spinning around and throwing a dozen shurikens at Anna. The Crocus ran faster and jumped, performing a forward tumble in midair and then extended her sword toward the roof. The tip of her blade cracked one of the terracotta roofing tiles as it made contact; the blade sprang back upwards bringing Anna upright and landing on her feet.

"Oh come on!" The Jester screamed in frustration and then jumped from the ledge of one building to the other.

For about five minutes Anna chased him from roof top to roof top until she had him cornered on the roof line of the outer most building of the complex.

"Give up Jester, the only way out now is a hundred foot drop to the ground. It's over, lie down and put your hands behind your head," Anna ordered as she drew a pair of handcuffs from her utility belt and slowly started to close the ten foot gap in between them.

"Not tonight Crocus. I bid you adieu," he called out to the young super hero before giving her a bow and then back flipping off of the side.

"HOLY FLIPING FUCK BUNNIES, DID HE JUST…" Anna screamed as she ran to the edge and made to peer over the side but then immediately backed up.

"Oh you've got to be shitting me." The Red Crocus saw a hot air balloon rise over the roof line, its basket containing the Jester and five extra henchmen dressed like the ones she had defeated before. Though unlike the ones from before, they all had Brown Bess muskets pointed at her.

Time to go. Anna threw a smoke grenade at the balloon while turning to run. (The Crocus is no coward, but she does have enough sense to know she isn't bullet proof.)

As the hero made a beeline for the other side of the roof so she could jump into the fjord, she could hear the pop of musket fire and the whizzing sound of lead balls flying by at twelve hundred feet per second being fired blind into the smoke screen she had just created. A foot from the ledge a lucky shot grazed her left forearm, drawing blood. The Crocus leapt into the air at the same time she let out a cry of pain due to the searing hot rip on her left forearm. Ignoring the pain, she brought her arms together above her head and pierced the water with a forward entry spike dive.

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A.N.: Think of the Jester as a homage, not a rip off. :-)

THANK YOU FOR READING AND FOLOWING, PLEASE REVIEW even if it's to tell me I suck.