Heidi* is in her mid-30s, recently celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary, has two children and works in sales.

Yet there’s one thing that is different about Heidi that you can’t tell from just looking at her: she regularly cheats on her husband.

Heidi estimates she has had sex with around 15 different people over the past three years.

In the latest episode of Failing Fabulously, Shelly Horton talks to Natasha Exelby, a journalist who was caught day dreaming while she was reading the news on ABC TV. (Article continues.)

The mum of two joined the cheating website Ashley Madison about five years ago after she decided she wanted to experiment with her sex life and her husband said no.

“I wanted more sexual experiences, but my husband is very vanilla, he doesn’t like anything outside of the box. When I suggested a few of the things I wanted to try he actually put me down and made me feel bad for wanting to experiment,” she says on The Sex Files podcast.

One of Heidi’s favourite things to do is have sex with a married man just before his wife comes home so that she nearly gets caught.

She admits that if her husband found out he would immediately ask for a divorce, which begs the question: why not just get a divorce now if her needs are not being met?

“We haven’t gotten divorced as we have kids, and it’s going to involve a lot more people than just me. It’s not an option at the moment,” she explains.

Heidi feels no guilt cheating on her husband, as she gave him the opportunity to join in, but she doesn’t blame him in any way, adding, “People change over time, our tastes change, the things we want in our 20s are not what we want in our 30s.”

One of Heidi’s biggest complaints about her marriage is that her husband isn’t interested in getting to know what she wants in bed or what turns her on.

“I wish he was more open minded and would try things with me. I wish that he cared about what I wanted and what turns me on, I would love nothing more than to do these things together,” she says.

It’s a pattern Heidi observes among married men.

Heidi says the married men she sleeps with often complain about their sex lives at home. (Getty )

“Most of the married men I have sex with still love their wives, but their wives no longer want to have sex with them, causing them to look elsewhere,” she adds.

She also likes the discretion having sex with married men offers her, as they have just as much to lose as she does.

“I like that I get to pick and choose what I want, most times I will never see them again and that they’re there for the same reasons as me,” she says.

“We don’t do dates. We meet in hotel rooms, and from the time I meet them to the time I walk out the door can be about 30 minutes.”

Australia is one of Ashley Madison’s top countries when it comes to infidelity, with nearly 75,000 new Australian members joining the site every month. They claim there are approximately 28,000 cheating dates taking place every month.

The typical Ashley Madison customers are 34 – 36 year old women and 39-42 year old men.

Heidi admits she could never fall in love with someone she met through a cheating website. “When you think about where we met, there is no way I could fall in love with one of my dates. If they can do it to someone else, they can do it to you,” she explains.

“You always leave a piece of yourself with someone after being with them intimately. After a date I think it’s important to leave it all behind. I don’t like to overthink it and I don’t like to attach any emotion to it”.

*Not her real name

Listen to Heidi's full interview on The Sex Files podcast at acast.

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