President Donald Trump’s romance with Russia goes back decades. He has craved an opportunity to build one, or several, “bashnyas” (that’s Russian for towers) in Moscow and other Russian cities.

So far he has failed to acquire “razresheniye” (permission) to do so from Comrade Putin. Trump’s bashnya fixation is quite understandable given the abundance of easy “den’gi” (money) that flows like vodka among Russian oligarchs.

Remember, few western banks will touch the Trump Corporation with 10-foot poles.

For example, recall that Trump pocketed a quick $56 million for selling a Florida mansion to Russia’s “King of Fertilizer,” Dmitry Rybolovlev, who tore the mansion down and sold the land. Trump did so by doing absolutely nothing to renovate the property. As they say on NFL TV, “Come on man!”

But over the past couple of years, as Trump’s political star began to ovulate, his failure to consummate the relationship with wily ol’ Putin took a promising turn when Russian “prestupnick” (mafioso) Felix Slater (born Felix Mikhailovich Sheferovsky, son of a Russian mafia underboss) offered to broker a deal with Comrade Putin.

Slater most likely told Putin that while Trump was clearly “psikh” (crazy), he was a potential “marionetka” (stooge) who could be of great value to the Kremlin.

Being the epic “durachit” (fool) that he is, Trump continued his quest for president while simultaneously working a backroom “po rukam” (deal) to keep his bashnya dreams alive. Remember, at heart, Trump is nothing more than a “egostichnyy” (selfish) “gluppyy” (fool) consumed by “alchnost” (avarice).

Here’s what we know for certain. First, Trump is “nechestnyy, prodazhny, nekompetentnyy and izhets” (dishonest, corrupt, incompetent and a liar). Second, he is “bredovyy” (delusional).

The Russians obviously know these things, and are now reaching for their own “10-foot poles.”

Meanwhile, Trump is immersed in a legal and political “stochnaya truba” (sewer) of his own making, and he is running out of friends in both Russia and the United States.

Stephen Davis is a resident of Fairfield. Reach him at [email protected].