Guy meets woman at bar. Guy hits on woman, asks her to hold his sunglasses in her purse. Woman leaves bar later with his sunglasses still in her purse, never to return. Man thinks a cool plan is to text woman constantly for a full calendar year with wacky messages about wanting his sunglasses back. This guy is now going viral after Imgur user phillyalex (allegedly the guy himself, named Alex) uploaded screenshots of the yearlong — well, I'd call it an exchange but the woman never responded so not really. Everyone thinks this guy's texts are cute and hilarious.

According to Alex, he "wasn't that into her anyway" but he wasn't OK with what he seems to consider a blatant theft of his sunglasses. Below is just a small sampling of the weekly (and I suspect sometimes more than weekly) texts Alex sent her.

While I get why so many people think this is hilarious, picture for a second what it would've been like to be this woman. You met a guy at a bar. You went out with him one time. He asked you to hold something he could've easily draped across the front of his shirt, and then you ditched him, probably because he was a massive tool, which is the only time women ever use the "I'll be right back. Psych!" tactic. Then, the guy texts you nonstop for a fucking yearof your life. This guy is not adorable and kooky, he's a jerk who is harassing a woman he went out with one time.

When she finally replied after a year of this crap, she basically said, "Who dis?" and then realized it was "Alex. Sunglasses left in my purse. Wants them back. Got it." and tells him she put them on top of her fridge after she got home that night and then later moved across the country back in January and unfortunately has no idea what happened to what she calls his precious shades.

I like to imagine that she'd been reading these texts and showing them to her friends, laughing and sometimes fearing him completely (maybe that's why she moved across the country. If so, I truly do not blame her). And then after a year, she finally broke down and gave him the perfect "Wait, who are you? I'm sorry. I've been busy having an actual life and not obsessing over someone I went on a date with over a year ago who bailed on me because she realized I was a massive tool. Thankfully I did move on, otherwise I would've started dating someone who texts women he barely knows for a full year because he couldn't put his precious sunglasses in his jeans pocket."

Wherever this woman is, I'd high-five her if I could. And to Alex: just carry your stupid shades next time. The purses of women you barely know aren't storage units.

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Lane Moore Sex & Relationships Editor I'm Lane Moore, sex & relationships editor at Cosmopolitan.com.

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