Our deeply ingrained expectation that men should be strong and invulnerable makes us collectively more tolerant when harm happens to men and boys. Men are trapped between a traditional, conservative expectation that it is the duty of good men to protect women and children from bad men and a progressive liberal belief that all men are somehow oppressors of women. Over the years these contrasting perspectives have combined to create a pantomime view of intimate violence in which men are either the perpetrators or protectors of women, while women are always the damsels in distress. Put simply it is women who have problems and men who are problems.