(Newser) – A bad week for "Philly Jesus" and a quite (not quiet) inconsiderate neighbor are among the weirdest crime stories of the week:



Family Terrorized by Neighbor's Loud Sex: A Pennsylvania woman says her family put up with the neighbor from hell for two years. Tanya Saylor says that her two daughters share a wall with Amanda Marie Warfel's bedroom, and that Warfel deliberately tormented the family by, among other things, "loudly fornicating." Warfel has pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and harassment. Here's how bad Saylor says it got.

Of All the Garage Doors in Alaska, Driver Hits This One: When Alaska police responded to a call in Juneau, they found Alexander Oliphant sitting in his car, which happened to be in a construction fence. Police say Oliphant wouldn't take a breath test but did let them know that he had hit the garage door of a nearby home—a pretty noteworthy one.

'Philly Jesus' Busted at Apple Store: A man who calls himself "Philly Jesus" (real name: Michael Grant) is known for dressing like Jesus, preaching on sidewalks, and performing baptisms in city fountains. Grant was arrested, however, at a Philadelphia Apple store on defiant trespassing and disorderly conduct charges—partly because of the very large item he carries.

Cops Find Suspect Thanks to Bizarre Clue: Police in Washington state were able to easily track down a suspect because he had a monkey on his back. It's no metaphor. Police say the 30-year-old man had fled the scene of a car crash on foot with his pet monkey, which made it pretty easy for officers to spot him soon after. Worse, cops had to call his mom.

Woman Lies About Puppy, Gets Hit With Felony Charge: In a bizarre turn of events, an Illinois community college adjunct professor is being charged with a felony. In April, Hope Sanchez brought a puppy to show her psych class at McHenry County College, allegedly telling her students she found it in a pillowcase sealed with duct tape. The puppy's rescue made the news—and Sanchez's story started to unravel.

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