Since you’re reading this post, you’re probably drawn to personal development in some way.

Maybe you’re going through something heavy right now or maybe it’s just your daily mental multivitamin.

It’s been many years since I first felt drawn to the self­help genre. Tony Robbins’ “Awaken the Giant Within” was my gateway drug so to speak.

Then came numerous others.

Reading these books always made me feel better about myself, but just like a drug, I found myself wanting and needing more to help me feel okay with who I was.

Don’t get me wrong, they’ve been immensely helpful in understanding myself and others more and have helped change my life for the better. And I still read them on a regular basis.But often I used them, similar to the way people use drugs ­ as an escape. I became somewhat dependent on them to give me that boost I needed to have a good day rather than simply being present with what or whom was in front of me. I wanted the quick fix. I wanted to wake up and feel like all my flaws were mended. I wanted to feel whole. Everyone at some point or another has felt there were sides of them that were unlovable, unacceptable or shameful. For me, I was hit with the double whammy of being an introvert as well as being shy. Yes, there is a difference. Basically introvert’s enjoy spending time alone while shy people may not necessarily enjoy being alone, however, have a fear of social interaction. I pushed myself into social events, trying to overcome what I considered to be an affliction. I did my best extrovert imitation which I’m sure came off more than bit awkward. I really wanted to be chatty and popular ­ to feel accepted and worthy. So I continued my quest to find my missing link ­ to find that piece that would make me feel whole. What I didn’t realize was that what I needed all along was very simple. What I needed was self­acceptance. If you find yourself using personal development as a way to “fix” yourself or as a substitute for

self ­acceptance, read on. 10 Reasons Why You’re Enough Just the Way You Are Everyone’s a work­ in ­progress: Nobody’s perfect including yourself so stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be so. You have unique strengths: There’s a quality you have right now that someone else wishes they had. Stop focusing on what you don’t have and make the best of what you do. Your strength lies in your ability to be okay with your weaknesses: We don’t have to be ashamed of our weaknesses. We’re human, we all have them. When you simply accept that you have weaknesses, you can stop spending so much energy trying to hide them. You are your own worst critic: We tend magnify our weaknesses and downplay our strengths. Strive to have a more balanced view. Believing you are worthy is the only thing that keeps you from feeling wholehearted: Brene Brown, author and researcher found that the one difference between people who feel unworthy and those that live “wholeheartedly” is the belief that they are worthy. You can choose what you believe: You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control your thoughts. Change your perspective and choose thoughts that feel good. You can choose what actions you take: Once again, you can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you react or even better how you act in the face of fear, doubt and insecurity. You can help someone feel better with a kind word, a hug, or even just a smile and that is powerful. You are not here to impress anyone. You can’t argue with Billy Joel and Bruno Mars and each of their songs, “Just the Way You Are” As with many things, personal development can be a tool or a crutch. But the good news is, we get to decide which one it’ll be. Written on 3/17/2013 by Ally Palmer. Ally Palmer is a massage therapist who writes about habits, flow, motherhood and more at Findyourflow.net. Photo Credit:

ganesha