ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Browsing through ‘millions’ of online items this morning, Gavin Pooley selected a book, t-shirt and socks before heading to the checkout to part with his money.

However, something made him stop.

With eager anticipation, the 28-year-old as well as thousands of other Australians around the country, waiting for US online retailer Amazon to finally land on our shores – legally.

But the wait, according to Pooley, has been for nothing.

“Nine fucking days? Where’s this book being shipped from? The fucking Falklands? Jesus wept! I’d rather visit my local bookshop, call me old-fashioned,”

“And what the hell? All the sizing information is in inches. What the fuck is an inch? I mean, there has been some biblical bed-shitting over the years but this takes the whole cake and stamps on it.”

With that, the popular law clerk told The Advocate that he’d visit the boutique French Quarter shopping district after work today and perhaps look to see if the book he was after is at his local bookshop.

Pooley is reportedly on the hunt for The Martian by Andy Weir.

Intrigued by the movie, he was eager to see if the book had less bullshit in it than the blockbuster.

Our reporters were able to contact the staff at the Busy Bookworm on Rue de Èpsilon a short time ago and confirmed they had a hardcover edition of the novel.

In 2003, the Busy Bookworm shot to international fame after New York Times Best-Selling author Matthew Reilly was almost throttled to death by an irate fan of the Shane Schofield series.

The man’s motive for choking Reilly into the year 3003 is still unclear.

More to come.