Complaint Box What Annoys You? Send your rant — no more than 500 words, please — to: complaintbox@nytimes.com, with a subject line of your last name, followed by “Complaint Box” and the topic. Detailed instructions are below.

I’m sick and tired of people who are parents thinking that those of us who have decided not to have children, for whatever reasons, regularly eat babies for breakfast. Many of us actually like kids, but we thought long and hard about the task of raising a child, and we decided against it.

Maybe we didn’t think we were equipped to handle the job. Maybe we had careers that, during our child-bearing years, were just too important. Maybe we knew in our gut parenthood wasn’t what we really wanted and we were honest enough with ourselves to admit that. Maybe we had no money. Maybe we had no background for parenting or any parenting skills. Maybe there was a physical or medical reason for deciding against children. Or maybe, like so many childless couples I’ve met over the years, it was a combination of factors — factors that most people don’t even consider before they open their mouths and say something silly or stupid.

My husband and I probably gave more thought to having and rearing a child than most people do. We decided against the idea; others just decide to get married (or not) and along come the kids. I have always been surprised at how many women with children have said to me, “I love my kids dearly, but if I had it to do over again. …” I’ve heard those words verbatim over the years, and I must say I applaud these women for being so honest. It’s always surprised me. This usually comes after a discussion of my not having children and why.

I’ve also had women, usually older women when I was much younger, quietly slip little pieces of paper with doctors’ names and phone numbers on them, an unrequested but benevolent gesture to help me out with a recommendation for a fertility doctor before fertility doctors were so rampant.

I had a T-shirt years ago that had a cartoon character across the front, a woman holding her head and weeping. The dialogue bubble alongside said “Oh, no! I forgot to have children!” It was my lighthearted attempt to fend off questions about my childlessness.

Still, is it really anyone’s business, this childbearing issue? I’m amazed that people would be bold enough to inquire as to why I never had kids, yet I would never be nervy enough to ask anyone why they had children. We’re not an agrarian society any longer, where more hands help farm the land.

Why, in a country so rich in diversity and differences, in a land where contrasts and distinctions are rejoiced and applauded, do child-free people still have to make excuses, why do we still stand out so much? It’s almost the last remaining prejudice.

Even in my current neighborhood — specifically designed for over 55ers, a place for people who are beyond wanting to have children of their own — I’m still barraged with questions. Only now it’s “Where are the grandchildren?”

Karen Segboer lives in Warwick, N.Y., and is a regular contributor to Orange magazine.

If you wish to submit a Complaint Box essay, please send it as an attachment and in the body of the e-mail to complaintbox@nytimes.com, along with your name, address, phone number and e-mail. In the subject line of the e-mail, type your last name, followed by “Complaint Box” and the subject of your complaint.

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