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In the annals of bizarre crime stories, even Cormac McCarthy couldn't come up with one this bizarre. Some sort of sexy version (?) of "guess where I put my gun, honey" turned ugly when 48-year-old Jennifer McCarthy of New Mexico (no, not that Jenny McCarthy) pulled a firearm out of her vagina (where else?) and pointed it at her boyfriend's head after a dispute over aliens (what else?) got a little too heated.

According to the Albuquerque Journal, McCarthy, reportedly stormed out during a fight over extraterrestrial life with her unnamed boyfriend and then returned with a plan for vengeance. The police report describes how she went to her bedroom, dressed up in lingerie, put the gun in a place no guns should go, then somehow performed an unspecified sex act with the gun insider her. Naturally, that was just a prelude to pulling the gun out, pointing it at her boyfriend, and asking the presumably rhetorical question "Who is crazy, you or me?"

Anonymous boyfriend took the gun away and dropped it in the toilet. McCarthy then took it back, so he just threw it in the trash. Does any of this still make sense to you.

If all of that wasn't enough to get this story off the police blotter (and The Smoking Gun) and into the inboxes of office workers everywhere, there's one more little trivia tidbit to add. McCarthy is the most recent ex-wife of celebrated author Cormac McCarthy, who has presumably never written a book where a character uses a vagina for a "holster."