In reality, for every 10 pregnancies, one or two end in miscarriage, according to Deborah Nucatola, MD, Ob-Gyn and senior director of medical services at Planned Parenthood Federation of America. That figure may actually be higher; some women never realize they’re pregnant or miscarrying to begin with. Because so many people don’t understand how widespread miscarriage is, they don’t discuss their own experiences and may end up feeling isolated. As Lindsay, who miscarried at eight weeks, explains, “Death is measured by a sort of social barometer — people understand how much comfort to offer when a parent or a spouse dies… A fetus that could have been your baby? Where is that on the barometer? [It] mystifies a lot of people.”