YouToMeAreEverything Sun 17-Feb-19 13:02:26

AIBU?



I love my DH and want him to be happy and healthy for himself and our family.



The problem is that he is about 5 stone overweight, according to him, it could well be a little more. He does no exercise other than walking to where he needs to go (maybe 2-4 miles on weekdays), going to and from work and then around the office etc. He eats obscene amounts. I've just seen him make lunch and he's opted for baked beans on toast topped with an enormous pile of noodles. Little to no nutrient value there! Just looking at it made me feel physically sick. I said nothing as what good would it do, right when he's about to eat it?



We've talked about trying to get healthier before, and even talked about it again yesterday having gone for lunch at a health food cafe (which he loved, but could have eaten the whole menu for lunch). I'm no skinny mini and would like to loose a stone of baby weight that still hasn't shifted, but it seems even if I try to lead by example (no alcohol / chocolate / crisps in the house etc) he just bypasses it and eats really badly when at work. I cook healthy food, helped by having a 2yr old who needs a decent amount of veg etc, we mainly have what she has, but once she's gone to bed he'll crack open the beers or crisps he's bought.



What can I do?



It's not just about his health, although it mainly is. I don't feel attracted to him anymore as he is just so overweight and lazy with it; no exercise, constantly on the computer games. I love him dearly but something has to give. Even his family (who are real health lovers) have tried to talk to him about it before as we're all worried he's going to kill himself going this way. He's 35 and when we got together 10 years ago was a good 4 stone lighter and all muscle. We haven't had sex for months as the thought of it is just off putting right now. He craves affection which I try to give as I do love him, but I'm just so grossed out by his greed and size.