I’ve always known that I was unique. Just kinda, different, you know? And turns out I was right. I’m not like other girls; I’m severely immunocompromised.

Please do not come near me.

The average woman might have a small moment of panic when they wake up with a sore throat or headache. But I’m kind of offbeat – I don’t immediately know it’s “just allergies” and have to call my rheumatologist and give them a rundown of every symptom because who knows, I might just be very, very sick. So could you please put your mask back on?

It’s not that I’m super remarkable or have extraordinary powers; it’s just that while other girls will tell you they miss going out for drinks or spin class, I’m just casually terrified of dying right now! I guess I’m just weird like that.

Most women I know are just bogged down by the news and constant flood of COVID-related discussions. I can’t help that I’m not like them, though; instead, I’m watching CNN night and day and trying to hang on to any shred of hope I can muster. I would say that I’m determined to be a glass-half-full-gal really because my life depends on it.

There’s no use in trying to blend in with normal gals, I just stand out! And by that, I mean everything currently scares me shitless. Other girls are stuck at home and ugh, stuck with family day in and day out. Me, though? I’m actually kind of weary of my mom whenever she gets back from the grocery store. It’s honestly a little quirky, I take my family’s temperatures before they enter the house so that I feel safe and in control. Call me eccentric, I know!

But hey, I absolutely understand missing your work environment and co-workers—it’s just, that’s not really in the cards for me. I’m a little unconventional in that the mere thought of going back to work sends me into such a panic that I need my inhaler. And sure, other girls have their cute dogs and cats as their co-workers right now. So cute, but not really my thing. I literally can’t pet any dogs when I go on my daily walk because I can’t be sure if they’re COVID-19 conduits or not.

I’m a little offbeat; that’s all I’m saying. I don’t fit in, and I probably never will. So while other girls are binge-watching their favorite shows and eating snacks at home, just now that I’m doing the exact same, but like in fear of losing my life.