Kal Penn. Photo: Noam Galai/Getty Images for Global Citizen

As Master of None’s Aziz Ansari and many other South Asian writers and actors have discussed, Hollywood loves the “Apu accent,” the voice of the Simpsons character shared by so many cab drivers, IT workers, and mystical shamans in American movies and TV shows. While trying to make it in Hollywood, Kal Penn auditioned to play many of those characters, and as he explained on Twitter today, he was nearly always asked to do that same old accent. Penn kept the receipts on some of the worst offenders, including a request for a “Gandhi look-alike”:

Found a bunch of old scripts from some of my first years trying to be an actor. pic.twitter.com/GydOwlUKGW — Kal Penn (@kalpenn) March 14, 2017

Here’s how he learned that “authentic” means the Apu accent.

Jeez I remember this one! They were awful. "Can you make his accent a little more AUTHENTIC?" That usually meant they wanted Apu pic.twitter.com/3F5XRORO3n — Kal Penn (@kalpenn) March 14, 2017

There was a pilot where the quirky lab buddy just needed an accent.

This was a pilot called The Stones. Tried to convince them to let me speak without an accent & make it funny on the merits (was told no) 😂 pic.twitter.com/SuUVYT7rip — Kal Penn (@kalpenn) March 14, 2017

Why not write in a “foreign student” to get at some good sweatshop jokes?

Ha! In this audition for Smart Guy, they didn't even give the character a name! pic.twitter.com/z2D8E5rx8J — Kal Penn (@kalpenn) March 14, 2017

King of Queens is a lot less funny when it’s making fun of people’s names.

Friggin King of Queens man! I used to love that show until I got to audition for it lol pic.twitter.com/2BYu0nnd57 — Kal Penn (@kalpenn) March 14, 2017

The “sweaty unwashed look” is another hallmark.

Whoa I remember this! This was one of my first commercials. The makeup people would use Vaseline to get the sweaty unwashed look going pic.twitter.com/X7z4EI4drQ — Kal Penn (@kalpenn) March 14, 2017

Sabrina the Teenage Witch was also looking for an accent, and a character whose awkward grammar is funny.

Sabrina the Teenage Witch! Man. We got INTO it about why he had to have an accent. I'm laughing about it now but they were such dicks 😂 pic.twitter.com/kXdHjVsqvT — Kal Penn (@kalpenn) March 14, 2017

Penn went on to shout out the shows he’s worked on that were looking for more than just Apu, including Buffy, 24, and House, before heading back to work on Designated Survivor, where he plays a White House press secretary who does not have an accent.

Stuff like Steve Harvey, Buffy, Angel, 24, really smart, creative people who didn't have to use external things to mask subpar writing — Kal Penn (@kalpenn) March 14, 2017

Stuff like Steve Harvey, Buffy, Angel, 24, really smart, creative people who didn't have to use external things to mask subpar writing — Kal Penn (@kalpenn) March 14, 2017

Also when you cast things like @shorez, largely color & gender blind, it's more interesting & ratings can look like this. Which is awesome! pic.twitter.com/qr1f7vWASK — Kal Penn (@kalpenn) March 14, 2017