John Orrichio Films

Meet Edward X. Young, Brick school board candidate

Exactly no one was asking for a movie about interspecies breeding with Bigfoot in New Jersey, but that didn't stop Edward X. Young from getting one made.

Young -- one of six candidates running for three seats on the Brick Board of Education next Tuesday -- is the star of the soon-to-be-released "Bigfoot: Blood Trap," an ultra-low budget horror movie made last summer that's now generating ultra-high controversy for his candidacy.

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John Orrichio Films

Could it really be that bad?

Last year, Young mentioned his fascination with Stalin-era Russian biologist Il'ya Ivanovich Ivanov -- who in 1929 solicited female volunteers to be artificially inseminated with orangutan's sperm -- to director/producer John Orrichio, a schlock horror filmmaker based in Millville.

"We were thinking about doing a horror movie," Orrichio said, in an interview with NJ Advance Media on Friday. "Ed said he thought it would be a great Bigfoot movie. And I said, 'Yeah!'."

But the film's violent sexual content has the current school board president warning that Young should not "be in a position of making decisions that affect school children."

Intrigued, we decided to see for ourselves what's actually in Young's movie.

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John Orrichio Films

For starters, lots of bad taste

In "Blood Trap," Young plays a cryptozoologist named Dr. Corman, and the film opens with his family being slaughtered by a Bigfoot after his wife attacked its offspring, "Littlefoot."

Bigfoot spares Corman's life only so he can abuse him.

We're only 4 minutes in, and this film is already causing me to re-think my career and life choices.

Young did not return text messages and his cell phone voice mail was full and not accepting messages.

But in an interview with NJ Advance Media Friday, Orrichio said the international distributors insisted on opening the film either with a killing or a lesbian sex scene in order to guarantee it would be appealing to foreign audiences.

"So I figured, 'Let's do a killing in a lesbian scene," Orrichio said.

In the film, two heavily-tattooed women are shown filming their own erotic encounter in a forest.

Naturally, they bring a high-powered rifle with them, just in case "Littlefoot" stumbles into their shady glen. Which, sure enough, he does.

But shooting Bigfoot's fur-baby will only get you guts ripped out, and that's how things end for the inked-up pair.

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John Orrichio Films

The set-up

Years later, we meet Corman again, now in a wheelchair courtesy of his encounter with Bigfoot, and he informs a TV reporter of his desire to conduct experimental cross-breeding of humans with the creature.

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John Orrichio Films

Now for the crazy part

We'll spare you the tortured exposition of how Bigfoot is ultimately captured by a young woman, her idiot brother, conniving half-sister and various uncles.

They go into business with Corman, running his breeding experiments in their basement in hopes of getting rich, because this is where the movie gets super-dark and offensively nuts.

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John Orrichio Films

Things go awry, fast

Remember those tattooed lesbians who were turned into kibbles and bits for killing "Littlefoot" at the start of the movie? Well they left an impression on Bigfoot, and now Bigfoot just hates women with tats.

So what happens when you abduct young woman after young woman and they've all got a ton of tattoos but you still try to breed them with Bigfoot anyway?

Disembowelment. Lots and lots of disembowelment.

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John Orrichio Films

Until finally...

Young's Corman abducts a door-to-door missionary who is tattoo-free, and so she isn't shredded by Bigfoot.

But it soon becomes clear Bigfoot isn't going to mate with the missionary.

Which leads the Corman and his cabal to turn to drastic measures.

So Corman starts playing animal porn for Bigfoot to watch in the basement.

At this point, we begin to despair for the future of cinema, but also of mankind.

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John Orrecchio Films

The great escape

We are going to skip over the scene where Corman's cabal turn on one another, and the scene where the missionary disembowels one of her captors, and the scene where the Bigfoot actually rapes and impregnates another one of her captors.

We'll just tell you that the two escape in a Hyundai SUV, and that we've never been so glad to see a movie near its end.

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John Orrichio Films

Other stuff we won't bother showing you

Because you might want to eat dinner tonight, we're also sparing you the scene where the missionary's captor is actually raped by Bigfoot, impregnated and later delivers a "Rosemary's Sasquatch" of a baby, as well as the scene where it gnaws off the finger of a passerby who tries to play coochie-coo with it.

Before I screened the film, Orrichio insisted it was "just a horror movie" and that "it's weird that they're saying it's porn."

He then asked that I keep an open mind about it, and asked "just don't do a smear job."

I am not often speechless, but I genuinely don't know what to say to that now.

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Claude Brodesser-Akner may be reached at cbrodesser@njadvancemedia.com. Follow him on Twitter @ClaudeBrodesser. Find NJ.com Politics on Facebook.

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