By Brad Brevet Over at the Black List Blog, Scott (sorry, I didn’t see his last name) has posted what he defines as the “Definitive List of Cliched Dialogue” and it is quite a healthy and accurate read and if anything, perhaps may help in abolishing some of these lines from the cinematic landscape… at least, those moments where it just isn’t warranted. Of course, this list speaks more to a larger problem, which is the reason any characters would actually say these things. Take the first one below for example, “He’s standing right behind me, isn’t he?” This doesn’t happen unless a screenwriter has written another stupid scenario where someone is saying something about someone else while that someone else is right behind them. It’s a situation that often leads to “Wait! I can explain! This isn’t what it looks like,” which is always followed by the offended party leaving the room before the person can actually explain what it actually is, or the person is given the chance to explain and can’t speak like a normal human being. “Whatever you do, don’t look down,” is always followed by someone looking down and then the audience is supposed to laugh; “We’ll never make it in time!” is always followed by them making it in time; and “Wait. Did you hear something?” is always annoying because then the morons that heard something, and are most likely running from a serial killer already, decide to investigate the noise they thought they heard. I have included 35 of Scott’s 131 just below and I think I would add something like “I can’t get a signal” and a couple of suggestions from the comment section on the Black List site including “We need to talk” and “Mr.____ is my father’s name. Call me____.” He’s standing right behind me, isn’t he? You’ll never get away with this! Watch me. Follow that car! If I’m not back in __ minutes, get out of here/blow the whole thing up/call the cops. I’ve always wanted to say that! Did I just say that out loud? Wait. Did you hear something? Note to self … What’s the worst that could happen?/ What have we got to lose? I have a bad feeling about this. Leave it. They’re already dead. Whatever you do, don’t look down. I eat guys like you for breakfast. Oh now you’re really starting to piss me off! We’ve got company. We’ll never make it in time! Stay here. No way, I’m coming with you. I’m getting too old for this shit. Okay, let’s call that plan B. I just threw up in my mouth a little. Why are you doing this to me? Wait! I can explain! This isn’t what it looks like. If we make it out of this alive … That’s it! You’re off the case! Leave it. He’s/She’s/They’re not worth it. In English, please. … Unless? Unless what? You’re either very brave … or very stupid. You just don’t get it, do you? I have got to get me one of these! I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you. It’s called ____, you should try it sometime. Listen to me, and listen good, ’cause I’m only gonna say it once. So, where was/were I/we? Are you tryin’ to get us killed? You can get the full list right here and I’ve included a few more videos exploring a couple of the quotes above. SHARE TWEET