Me: “Alright. Your total is $23.34.”

(The customer hands me $30.)

Me: “Alright. Your change is $6.66.”

Customer: “That’s the devil’s number. I don’t want my change. It’s been tainted by Lucifer.”

Me: “Will it help if I give you an extra penny, or one less?”

Customer: “I don’t want it! The devil’s already marching through the stores.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s just six dollars and some change. If you want, you can buy a pack of gum and it’ll be a dollar less.”

Customer: “That’s just Satan’s way of entering my body because I didn’t heed God’s word!”

(The customer gets on her knees and begins to scream, cry, and pray. My manager comes up as I’m not able to check anyone else out. Everyone else has gone to another checkout because she’s frightened other customers.)

Manager: “Ma’am, you’re upsetting people. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “Your cashier is touched by Lucifer himself! She needs to be baptized in the holy waters.”

Manager: *giving up* “Don’t worry, we have the priests come in every Sunday to bless our shipments.”

Customer: “Oh, well. That’s the Christian thing to do.”

(The customer gets up and takes her groceries. She refuses to take her money. The manager just tells me to keep it so my drawer isn’t over.)

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