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A local FIFO drill and blast engineer from Betoota Heights who spends 30% of his highly disposable income on cheap cigarettes and legally grey red light massages in South-East Asia has today criticised the Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park Board’s ban on tourists climbing on top of an ancient sacred rock formation 335 km south west of Alice Springs.

Kyal Leary (38) says a ban on climbing Uluru is just political correctness gone mad, and what’s next?

“What’s next? Banning white kids from doing Aboriginal art in school?” says an irate Kyal.

“Some people spend their lives saving up to visit Uluru and climbing on top of it. And now they can only walk around it”

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Kyal, who has spent his last nine extended holiday breaks rotating between hedonistic nightlife strips in Thailand and Bali, says this imminent ban on climbing to the top of the central Australian landmark is going to ruin the local economy in central NT.

“I don’t agree with the ban.” says Kyal.

“In my opinion, it’s unnecessary”

Uluru is considered sacred by the Traditional Owners, the Anangu people, and the ban was announced by the Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park Board in 2017.

However, according to Kyal, this new policy is just another example of the lefties making a big deal out of nothing, and actually making life worse for Aboriginal people if anything.

“Look at the work it has created for the Indigenous community in the Outback” says the fly-in-fly-out worker who makes up 1 of 213 non-Indigenous employees in a remote underground thermal coal mine located on a Aboriginal-managed parcel of regional Australia with catastrophic unemployment rates.

“It provides them jobs. The climbing provides them jobs”

As Kyal points out, barely anywhere in Australia is worth visiting when compared to much cheaper jet-ski precincts of Phuket and Kuta – so why would you go and take away the one vaguely entertaining brand of adventure tourism away from the Outback.

“No wonder everyone is fucking off to Thailand and Bali” he said.

“The local women are better there too. Less stuck up”