Yossileiner8

The following users have been given access to edit this draft on their sandboxes: Yossileiner RockDHouse BlazingTrail

(please note this is a backup. editting will be done on google docs.)

Dusk. The shadows of ancient oaks stretched seemingly to infinity. Here, the Sun had sunk beneath the Earth, and only the last few fading rays of apricity warmed the world. The floor of the forest was covered in dry leaves and gnarled roots, and pitted by millennia of raindrops and erosion.

In the darkness, a single light flickered solemnly, half-illuminating the four figures sat around it. Suddenly, one stood up, leaned across the blazing fire, and looked his mortal enemy in the eye.

"YALDABAOTH," cried Mekhane, the Broken God, over whose body countless men had died. The creature of infernal flesh held the gaze.

"PASS ME SOME MARSHMALLOWS."

One of Yaldabaoth's many tendrils of flesh meandered lazily across the forest floor, snagged the plastic bag, and threw it over the fire into Mekhane's waiting hands. "THANK YOU." said the Broken God, and, skewering one on the end of a stick, began roasting it.

“So… are there usually more of you?” asked Mary Nakayama, still slightly nervous around such powerful beings.

“Uh… sometimes we bring Apakht along, but that all depends on what state he’s in. Right now he’s a bit insecure about himself, so we thought it would be best to let him stew for a bit,” said Yaldabaoth.

“And Adonai said he couldn’t come,” continued the Scarlet King, “He had to run some three-for-one type deal. Said he’d come when he sends the ‘Messiah’, but really it’s just heavy procrastination. Like seriously, seven days to create everything? How lazy can you be?”

"And then I said, 'No, it's seven seals, you idiot!'" choked the Scarlet King, barely able to contain himself. The air was filled with raucous laughter as four nigh-omnipotent deities rolled around on the floor, convulsing with mirth. Mary had never laughed as hard as that since she had ascended.

"That reminds me of this one time," Mary giggled to herself, "Overseer 4, right, he tried to use SCP-2719 to transcend, but ended up just getting trapped in some minor god's garbage realm!" Chuckles were exchanged between the deities as Mekhane leaned forward towards the fire.

“SO HOW ARE THINGS DOWN THERE? DO THEY STILL THINK ME AND YALDA HATE EACH OTHER?” he boomed.

“Yep, they’re still fighting over it.” said Mary. Mekhane and Yaldabaoth exchanged glances, smiling.

“Honestly, sometimes I think they have longer memories than we do. We had one fight, didn’t we-”

“YOU STOLE MY DICK.”

“-and they’re still killing each other over it, are they? Amazing.”

“Ah well, we all do silly things in our youth,” said Mary.

“Take me for example,” the Scarlet King said, looking wistful. “I used to have seven brides - I know, right? Seven! It was a nightmare trying to find a bed big enough for them!”

“Is it true that one of your brides gave birth to 682?” Mary asked tentatively.

“Six-Eight-Two, Six-Eight-Two… oh, you mean the lizard thing? No, no, that was just bad propaganda.”

Mekhane and Yaldabaoth exchanged knowing glances again. The Scarlet King squirmed uncomfortably in his chair. “Okay, fine, maybe, but do you know how hard it is to find daycares in higher realms?”

The evening wore on, and soon there was no light at all, but for the dying embers of a fire desperately clinging to the last vestiges of life.

"DOES ANYBODY ELSE WANT S'MORES?"

"Yes, please," said Mary, leaning forward to extract the skewer proffered to her from Mekhane's metallic hand.

“I’ll have one too.” The Scarlet King took a marshmallow and dropped it into the fire. As he went to pull it out, it burst, spraying the Devourer of Worlds with burnt marshmallow goo. “Fuck,” he said gently.

"Speaking of which," Mary commented, "Why does Mekhane talk so loudly?" Mekhane avoided eye-contact and grunted.

"It's a… sensitive subject." Yaldaboath said, before being interrupted by Mehane himself.

"NO, IT'S FINE. I'LL TELL HER. THOSE CHURCH IDIOTS FUCKED UP MY SPEAKERS. I WAS SO PISSED I DESTROYED A CHUNK OF MEXICO. ASSHOLES."

"Huh" Mary managed to get out, chewing on her s'more, “What assholes. The least they could do is assemble a god correctly.”

"RIGHT. TIME FOR SLEEP." Mekhane stomped over to one of the tents, ripped open the door, and vanished from sight. Mary clearly heard a loud crash, followed by several smaller 'aftershocks'.

Yaldabaoth shook his head, gestured towards the tent. "I'll bunk with him. That alright with you two?"

"No problem."

"That's fine by me." The Scarlet King traipsed over to the second tent, with Mary in tow. She straightened out her sleeping bag, climbed in, then waited. The fire outside flickered out.

There was silence for about a minute. Finally, Mary spoke. "…You guys do know none of us sleep, right?"