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This young woman has some very strict rules for when her boyfriend goes to Magaluf with friends.

This strangely buff beluga whale has a better six pack than you

Whitney Travers even put pen to paper to lay down the law for her significant other Kieran Lumsden.

There’s even a little illustration.

Which is a nice touch, we’re sure you’ll agree.


Wow (Picture: Twitter/KieranLumsden67)

So, according to Whitney, here’s what Kieran is absolutely not allowed to get up to in Magaluf.

The Rules It continues (Picture: Twitter/KieranLumsden67) Make sure your phone is charged at ALL times! Phone me at least once a day (2 mins) No girls whatsoever. Don’t look. Don’t talk. Do not touch!!!!!! (Cheat and I will destroy everything Celtic, I will also make your life a living hell. Kim will be told too. Do not follow girls on social media Tattoo = naw. You’ll be checked when home. Don’t mix drink. Drugs are for mugs. If on boat party, no drinking games with the opposite sex. Stay in your own bed. Dinny buy girls drink. That money can be spent on me. Text Kim every day. She’ll be worrying. You tell every girl about me ok – if someone flirts, walk away. No photos with random girls or SC stories.

After the list of orders, she writes: ‘Have a nice flight, stay safe.’

Lumsden, from Scotland, took the rule book in good humour.

He tweeted:

Whitneys took psychoness to a new level?? pic.twitter.com/jq0BUflaqw — Keern (@KieranLumsden67) July 31, 2016

He’s also been keeping Whitney his followers up to date with his Magaluf exploits:

I fucking love ma pals and I fucking love maga?? — Keern (@KieranLumsden67) August 1, 2016

Maga – 1, Monkey and Arran – 0 pic.twitter.com/suaUbH3n5p — Keern (@KieranLumsden67) August 8, 2016

MORE: Police are targeting Magaluf party boats this year