Modeling clothes is so boring. It feels like...it feels like...I don't know what it feels like, but it makes my stomach hurt more than the time I had ice cream for breakfast and dinner. I want to go home. I want to take off these grandpa slippers and play football. When will this be over?

If I cross my arms AND my legs maybe they'll see how much I don't like this and let me leave. I wonder what Victor Valdes is doing right now. Probably staring into space like he does during matches hahaha. If I look away from the camera they have to let me leave, right? Who wears denim shirts and no socks anyway?

Why am I even modeling clothes for male storks? Storks don't wear clothes -- they just deliver babies to you after you rub your girlfriend's belly until it gets really big. Everybody knows that. Come on guys, leave me alone. Sandals make my toes feel sad. Hahaha I could still score goals from here.

Are there Lego stadiums in here? If there aren't Lego stadiums in here I'm going home as soon as they say I can. And I'm only going to sign four autographs for each person in the room, but no more. Unless they ask really nice, then I'll probably do as many as they want.

At least I don't have to drink that zombie guts stuff that the Herbalife people gave me. Sitting on a bench is weird. Now I know what Thiago feels like. I can't believe how much they freaked out when I tried to open the boxes to see what toys they had inside. How many denim shirts can one company make? Can I tap dance in these shoes? If they make me go an hour without scoring a hat trick I'm not going to write "hugs and kisses" at the end of my thank you note to them. Fashion people probably don't even smile when Xavi completes a pass.

I just realized what modeling clothes feels like. It feels like being Sergio Ramos. I don't like storks anymore.

Modeling clothes is the worst. At least football is always in color. Stupid Sergio Ramos.

Day of Champions from Yahoo! Sports:



Other popular content on the Yahoo! network:

• Giants cap classic comeback with 9-0 rout over Cardinals | Photos

• Bears defense comes up big in 13-7 win over the Lions | Photos

• Five elementary schoolers suffer concussions in disturbing youth football game

• Y! News: 'Horses and bayonets': the final presidential debate on social media