Hm, okay, so: You’ve been raped or abused or harassed by someone and the police won’t help you and he’s well-liked and you’re traumatized and you have to do work for work but everything is currently shattered and you’d sort of rather just die than try to answer even one email. Yeee-ikes! You could start down the painful road of recovery, but that’s more work for you to do. Plus it makes everyone uncomfortable, so … have you considered just sort of burying it down deep, deep, deep where no one can find it? Here’s how to pack your trauma in a lil’ bindle and keep on keepin’ on.

Visualize Yourself Ignoring Things

To really get to where you want to be, it’s important to create space for that reality by visualizing yourself living in it. But when it’s impossible to find a visualization where you’re not revictimized at every single step of the way, maybe you should practice visualizing what it would look like if you ignored things instead. Close your eyes and picture yourself swallowing your problems like they’re store-brand vitamins. Imagine yourself walking past the bar where you met him or the neighborhood where it happened, and you open your mouth and say, “La la la, I have familial and professional responsibilities that will not wait for me to heal, la la la.” Wow—powerful, right?

Create a “Blank Stare” Nook in Your Living Space

When Marie Kondo invented houses earlier this year, she made sure to put a priority on creating spaces within your space for specific purposes. Why not make a dedicated area for privately zoning out and allowing the numbness to envelop you like a living tomb? Whether you’re a Boho chic “No really I’m fine” gal or more of a buttoned-up, preppy “I don’t want to talk about this” lady, this is your chance to make this nook personal. Go wild! You don’t have to break the bank—or your gaze into the nothingness!—to make this space your own.

Find a Mantra (And Use It Against Yourself)

Mantras are amazing for working through struggle and suffering, but you can also use them as a tool of self-harm. Something simple like “Smile and the world smiles with you” can remind you that others depend on you for happiness and it would be selfish to deprive them of that with your whole “a man violated my physical autonomy and nothing bad is happening to him” drama. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is perfect for reminding yourself that if you’re not actively improving in the face of trauma, then you might as well be dead. “One day at a time” means one day you will have the time to actually metabolize the violence you’ve endured, but today is not that day—you’ve got to plan the whole office’s birthdays!

Have a Worse, Shorter Life

This one’s self-explanatory: Let your hair down, go a little wild, and don’t value your own life because the world doesn’t value it, so what’s the point? Live with the metallic taste of injustice in your throat at all times, die sooner of stress-related illnesses, and thank your lucky stars you won’t live long enough to see your granddaughters go through the same horseshit trauma factory we call Earth!

Pretend You’re A Tiny Stool.

Have you ever seen a real small stool in real life? Most people haven’t, but some people have. For the rest of us, you can just try to imagine what a real stool would look like. Now, pretend you are that stool. What do you notice? You have three legs, a molded seat, and no consciousness whatsoever. You can’t traumatize something with no consciousness! Pretend to be the stool until someone tells you that you have to move. So peaceful!

Try This Breathing Exercise:

Breathe in for a count of 5, hold for a count of 5, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding, keep holding…

There you have it: the best ways to handle your problem by… wait… what problem? Exactly.