This morning, New York published a fantastic interview with Justice Scalia that is well worth your time. You get a good sense of the man — from his devotion to both originalism and textualism, to the twelve-guage he inherited from his rabbit-shooting grandfather, to his comfort with being forever remembered as an "old fogey." Which, well, doesn't quite sound like us. Which made us wonder: How much do we have, or not have, in common with this man who is one ninth of the deciding factor over America's laws?

And so we pose to you the following questions as a sort of litmus test, paired with some answers from him given in that, again, must-read interview.

Do you think ladies should use fuck?

"You can't go to a movie—or watch a television show for that matter—without hearing the constant use of the F-word—including, you know, ladies using it."

Would you cheer at the State of the Union?

"[The State of the Union] is a childish spectacle. And we [the justices] are trucked in just to give some dignity to the occasion. I mean, there are all these punch lines, and one side jumps up—Hooray! And they all cheer, and then another punch line, and the others stand up, Hooray! It is juvenile! And we have to sit there like bumps on a log. We can clap if somebody says, 'The United States is the greatest country in the world.' Yay! But anything else, we have to look to the chief justice. Gee, is the chief gonna clap?"

Do you know what the Ninth Amendment is?

"If I'd been required to identify the Ninth Amendment when I was in law school or in the early years of my practice, and if my life depended on it, I couldn't tell you what the Ninth Amendment was."

Do you have low hopes for the guy who put this together?

"[The Internet is] certainly the cause of careless writing. People who get used to blurbing things on the Internet are never going to be good writers."

Do you believe in the Devil? And, if so, are you curious about what he's up to?

"You know, it is curious. In the Gospels, the Devil is doing all sorts of things. He's making pigs run off cliffs, he's possessing people and whatnot. And that doesn't happen very much anymore."

Do you run down the pope?

"I don't run down the pope."

Do you know what Homeland is?

"I don't even know what Homeland is."

What is your favorite Seinfeld quote?

" 'No soup for you!' "

Do you win bets?

"Rehnquist loved to have betting pools—on football games, baseball games... I never won."

Nate Hopper Associate editor Nate Hopper is an associate editor for Esquire magazine.

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