Speaking his truth. Jim Edmonds tells Us Weekly exclusively that he is emotionally exhausted in the wake of allegations that he had cheated on his now-estranged wife, Meghan King Edmonds, with one of the family’s nannies, Carly Wilson. Us confirmed that the retired baseball player, 49, officially filed for divorce on October 25 after five years of marriage.

In a statement to Us on Wednesday, October 30, Jim says:

“After what has been one of the most emotionally exhausting sleepless five days of my life resulting from a combination of anger, embarrassment, trying to understand, sadness to simply flat. I would like to make this statement:

The last couple years have been rough on my wife and me for many reasons. Marriage is difficult but add three small children under three, two adolescent children, two adult children, building a house and two busy, hard-working spouses and the stress of living our lives in the public eye. At times we are exhausted and feel our life has become one of distrust, kids, work, house, sleep and repeat.

It saddens me tremendously that my wife is hurt. After having a few days to digest the situation, I realize that something that occurred in a split second spiraled out of control with no way to stop it. We were both separately surprised to find out that the media had received details of our private situation without our knowledge.

We both carry an extremely large load and most of our issues could have been worked out if we had more more time for us. With our busy careers and the addition of our son’s medical needs, we were lacking quality time together.

I’m removing myself and all of my family from this unnecessary publicity that I obviously have never quite enjoyed. I have way too much love for my wife and kids for this to happen and it’s time for us to get back to the private life we used to live. Meghan is a truly special woman who my kids are so fortunate to have as their mother.

Hoping for some peace, normalcy, and the ability to move forward in a healthy, happy direction for every single person involved.

I love my family and will make it right again.”

An insider previously told Us that Jim “wasn’t flirty” with any of the family’s four nannies, and that the other staffers “never felt uncomfortable around him.” Shortly after the accusations came to light, Jim insisted he treated Wilson and the other nannies as if they were his own daughters, promising to protect them while they were in his family’s home.

Jim and Meghan previously weathered another cheating scandal in June after she found out that he was sexting another woman while the Real Housewives of Orange County alum was pregnant with twin sons Hayes and Hart, now 16 months. The couple are also parents of 2-year-old daughter Aspen. At the time, Jim denied ever sleeping with another woman, revealing exclusively to Us: “I engaged in an inappropriate conversation with this person. At no time was there any type of relationship or physical contact. Absolutely none. This is someone trying to profit from my name.

After days of silence, Meghan finally made a powerful statement of her own in a blog post titled “Broken” on Tuesday, October 29. “Out of respect for my children and my family, I find it unnecessary to go into all the gritty details,” the former Bravo star wrote. “I don’t know if Jim slept with our babysitter or whether they were just being exceedingly inappropriate by hanging out socially without either of them telling me … I’ve gone back and forth with my thoughts for a couple days but as I write this, I don’t think he did. But I still don’t understand why he’d lie. And why would she lie?”

The former St. Louis Cardinals player was spotted at a hockey game with Wilson in the wake of the cheating allegations last weekend, but he subsequently clarified that the two weren’t alone. “I was with my best friend and his child,” he wrote on Instagram. “I was trying to do something nice for the girl who just had her boyfriend dumped [sic] her.”

With reporting by Brody Brown