A man needs to find the Bank of America branch closest to 19th Street and First or Second Avenue. I know that 311 does not provide addresses of businesses, so I advise, per the script: “If you need directory assistance, call 411 or check a phone book.” He sounds perturbed.

The next day I regale the quality assurance supervisor with the story of the man who confused 311 with 411. She does not laugh. Sometimes, she says, people don’t know why they’re calling. A call-taker should ask “probing questions,” thinking to herself, “Is it beyond every reasonable doubt in your mind that this person just needs an address?”

Tuesday, 9 a.m.

The first order of business is a warm and fuzzy team meeting. Our leader passes a stack of pennies around the room. We call-takers have to say something we experienced during the year on the penny, as a team-building exercise. (Mine is 2002: The year my husband and I decided to get married.) Call-taker camaraderie is crucial, my teammates tell me. Whatever happens, one advises, “don’t take it personal.”

Around lunchtime, a restaurateur calls, seeking the address of a health department building where his employee is set to take a food-handling test. I do not have the address, but I transfer him to the health department, which presumably does. I think the call goes well, but this turns out to be my lowest-scoring call (80 points out of 100). I apparently was supposed to point out that the food-handling course could also be taken online. And I said “tryina” instead of “trying to.” Sheesh.

That afternoon I get my first noise complaint — 311’s most common category, accounting for more than two million calls over the seven years. Mine is from a woman being driven to the brink by her neighbor’s barking dogs. Later in the week, there is a man so upset by the crying and thumping from a nearby apartment that he wants to file both a noise complaint and a report of possible child abuse. And a desperate woman whose daughter cannot sleep because of “a lot of banging and bouncing and skateboard and basketball and everything.” Then there is a noisemaker, who wants to know his rights. Are there rules about when he can listen to his radio “a little bit loud,” or enjoy his home theater? What if one’s neighbor is “a little bit nuts?”

Wednesday, 9:40 a.m.

A caller would like to know whether one’s landlord can enter one’s garden without one’s permission. Good question. I would hope not, but who knows? I offer to e-mail her a brochure detailing landlord-tenant rights and obligations. Other disgruntled tenants call to report their landlords for renting out illegal basement apartments, and for funneling electricity to other tenants. Note to landlords: Tenant complaints are the fourth most common calls to 311. And that doesn’t count inadequate-heat complaints, which are second only to noise.