For years, we’ve been warned about the left turning us into a nanny state and trying to control everything. We’ve heard how the Communists want to control us and how the conservatives are the ones who believe in small government. “We are giving you tax cuts,” say the Liberals, “because we believe that people are best placed to know what they should spend their money on. They don’t need governments making decisions for them.”

Yet now we have the Indue card. Ok, I know, I know. That’s just compassionate conservatism to help those who can’t help themselves. It’s giving a go to those who aren’t able to have a go because they’re all on drugs… Unless they’re over thirty five when they’ll no longer be drug tested. Mm, does that mean that they’ll all be able to celebrate with a wild cocaine and ecstasy party on their thirty fifth birthday…

I guess that’s why we have the Undue card. To protect all those older Australians who are no longer subject to drug testing. Some people think that these trials are just a Trojan horse and combine this with the proposal to limit cash payments to $10,000, it won’t be long before everyone will have one and the government can view all our spending.

However, the government assures us that this Undue – or is Undie – card isn’t even going to be extended to pensioners even though the legislation does include aged pensioners, meaning that it’s simply an oversight, and not a way of making it easier to roll it out without needing to go back to Parliament when the time comes to say that we’re worried about pensioners being exploited so we’re going to ensure that they can only shop at stores which we approve of and who likewise approve of the government. Business that show this approval by running fundraisers or buying dinner tickets so that they can hear the PM ask them, “How good is this Indue card?” Over and over again.

Yes, good old ScoMo is quite the joker… Last night in a performance reminiscent of Heath Ledger, he made a joke about how good it was to have all the journalists in the one room so that they could more easily gather their metadata.

At least I presume it was a joke. Although now I think about it, between the metadata laws, the Indue card and the threats to forcibly acquire energy assets, ScoMo is starting to show all the tendencies of one of those communist dictators we’ve all been warned about.

Mm, and then there’s Gladys Liu. While she may not be a card carrying member of the Chinese Communist Party, she’s certainly belonged to organisations which are meant to advance China’s interests in other countries. When Scottie hears this, does he announce that he’ll ask the security forces to check it out? No, he calls her a great Australian and accuses people of racism for even suggesting that there are questions to answer.

Good on him, says the Chinese newspaper. (This is real, I’m not making it up).

Now imagine if Jeremy Corbyn or Bill Shorten had introduced a card to control people’s spending, presided over raids on journalists and then was praised by the Communists for standing up for a possible Chinese propaganda stooge. Yeah, I can see the Murdoch press calling for their extradition to Guatanamo Bay as a threat to the nation.

But Scott, it seems, is ok right up until he says, How Good is the Socialist state?

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