Would you want to be seen using a safe that looks like a dirty pair of briefs? We sure hope not. Only one question pops into mind when looking at some of these strange gadgets: “What were they thinking?”

Brief Safe

The problem with most safes is that experienced burglers know how to crack them. “Brief Safe” offers the next best thing which is basically stained underwear that securely stores valuables in a 4″ x 10″ secret compartment with velcro closure. Available now for $11 from Shomer.

“Leave the “Brief Safe” in plain view in your laundry basket or washing machine at home, or in your suitcase in a hotel room – even the most hardened burgler or most curious snoop will “skid” to a screeching halt as soon as they see them.”

[Source]

Nose Stretcher

Just clip this on your nose for a couple minutes per week and it will start stretching the cartilage to a desired size.

“A flat little nose is a common feature among Japanese women. But that all changed with this nose lengthening device.”

[Source]

The Slim Mouth Piece

This weird gadget is supposed to tone your face by expanding and contracting flaccid facial muscles. According to the manufacturer, it takes only 2-3 minutes of exercises per day to “sharpen your features”. It comes in medium/hard spring tensions and is priced at $9.50 USD.

“Well, the theory is that if you widen your mouth, you will have the appearance of a small face, so prized by the Japanese. “

[Source]

Face Slimmer

This crazy product not only makes you look like something from a horror movie but slims your face using contact pressure and doubles as a sauna to sweat the fat away. [Source]

USB-Powered Air Purifier Mask

Just when you thought USB accessories couldn’t get any stranger, this comes along — great for blocking your own bodily odors. Unfortunately, Thanko has no plans on bringing this gadget to the US. Here’s what Nicholas Deleon has to say:

Just look at the girl’s reaction in the third panel—terrifying! I’d sooner move to a place with better air quality than waste $20 on this

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Neck Stretcher

To use this device, simply place it around your neck, and then use the handpump to send air rushing through the tube. You’re supposed to feel a nice “refreshing sensation” as the pressure slowly stretches the back of your neck. [Source]

Rice Omelet Mouse

When is a computer mouse not just a mouse? When it looks like a rice omelet that’s ready to eat.

A new dish to me—a rice omelet is simple a rice-filled omelette drenched in ketchup. Turn that concept into a mouse cover and you have yourself one hell of a strange and creepy peripheral