1. You won’t feel any sense of accomplishment.

Sounds like just another Monday.

2. No one will cheer you on.

Everybody went to the Revolutionary War re-enactment instead, sorry.

3. No one has ever heard of it.

When you say “marathon,’’ you think eight hours of Seinfeld on TBS.

4. There’s no history.

Unless Paul Revere ran the first Boston Marathon, I’m not interested.

5. There’s a lack of good competition.

Might as well be a JV track match.

6. Everyone hates to run along a scenic route.

There is nothing to look at.

7. Boston doesn’t have good places to carbo load.


Nothing but vegan smoothie shops in the North End.

8. No one will give you any credit.

Oh, you’re going to run a Marathon? Well, I watched the Dustin Hoffman movie Marathon Man twice today.

9. Boston only cares about pro sports.

I’m only watching three hours of running if it’s happening at Gillette or Fenway.

10. Every runner looks the same.

Try a little flair, people.

11. Nobody thinks runners are sexy.

You can take your toned abs elsewhere.

12. Conquering Heartbreak Hill won’t be rewarding at all.

Not. At. All.

13. There are never any exciting finishes.

“Oh cool, I’m on Boylston Street.’’ — No one, ever.

14. You hate having things to celebrate.

Spare me the noise.

15. You’ll forget about it the very next day.

Running the Boston Marathon? Yep, just another Monday.