CHESTER, PA—Expressing feelings of despair over their current predicament, a local community that came together to pay for 5-year-old Dylan Fanelli’s cancer treatment went bankrupt in the process, neighborhood sources confirmed Thursday. “When we heard Dylan’s insurance wouldn’t cover his chemotherapy, we all rallied to help him out, but unfortunately, we lost everything in the process and I’m up to my neck in past-due bills,” said community organizer James Rowan, who started a GoFundMe campaign to raise money for Dylan and subsequently for all 1,300 residents of his neighborhood after they sank deeper into debt. “We’re all upside down on our mortgage payments and the hospital isn’t giving an inch. The kid’s family is still hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, too—at least that’s what his dad said when I asked him for some of my money back.” At press time, a frantic Rowan expressed concerns that a lump on his throat might be a stress-induced tumor.

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