WikiLeaks suspect held series of conversations in 2009 that provide insights into his character and outlook

This article is more than 9 years old

This article is more than 9 years old

Over the course of about 15 hours of internet chats, spread across about six months in 2009, Bradley Manning had a series of conversations with a gay activist from outside Chicago called Zach Antolak who he had approached through cyberspace having come across Antolak's YouTube channel.

Manning, who is currently being held at the Fort Leavenworth military facility in Kansas on suspicion that he was the source of the WikiLeaks trove of US state secrets, was at that time training at Fort Drum in upstate New York.

The chat logs reproduced below have never been seen in their entirety before. They were obtained by New York magazine, which drew on them in the writing of a long profile of the US soldier, Bradley Manning's Army of One.

In the chats, Manning uses the internet handle bradass87, while Antolak goes by ZJ (or on YouTube as Zinnia Jones). In the course of their cyber-discussions, Manning describes his life in the army and its discriminatory don't ask don't tell (DADT) policy towards gays, talks about his time in a Welsh school, life at home with his father in Oklahoma, his thoughts on terror suspects detained in Guantánamo, as well as his views on religion and foreign affairs.

The chats can be sketchy and at times mundane, but they are revealing about the character and outlook of the man who stands accused of supplying the largest leak of official secrets in history.

The logs have been edited in three places to protect the privacy of a third party.

Conversation with bradass87 at 2/21/2009 7:27:49 PM on ZJemptv (aim)

(7:27:49 PM) bradass87: hi

(7:27:55 PM) ZJ: Hi

(7:28:20 PM) bradass87: you dont know my, i apologize, i got this from your youtube channel

(7:28:22 PM) bradass87: *me

(7:28:31 PM) ZJ: No problem, there's a reason I put it on there :P

(7:29:37 PM) bradass87: i did a search on info theory, books, videos, etc... bought books on it, watched some of your videos... then i saw your more personal stuff and figured you were on the same page

(7:29:40 PM) bradass87: *as me

(7:29:58 PM) ZJ: Cool

(7:30:10 PM) bradass87: oh, my name is brad manning, btw

(7:30:23 PM) ZJ: I'm Zach Antolak, nice to meet you

(7:30:34 PM) bradass87: :formal handshake:

(7:30:39 PM) bradass87: =P

(7:32:01 PM) bradass87: im 21, male, and i dont really know where im from xD... but my stuff is in potomac, maryland... outside DC... and i live and work at fort drum in upstate ny

(7:32:28 PM) ZJ: I'm from the south suburbs of chicago, pretty much generic suburbia around here

(7:34:07 PM) bradass87: yessh, i spent some time out there in chi-town... i was there in '06... lived in a pickup truck, sleeping in the ohare parking lot, commuting downtown during the day... LONG story

(7:34:21 PM) ZJ: that sure sounds fun :P

(7:35:28 PM) bradass87: surprisingly it was, i actually had got a job at the guitar center on halsted by a home depot

(7:36:01 PM) bradass87: my father kicked me out of his house in Oklahoma City in early 06

(7:36:12 PM) ZJ: I think I've been to that guitar center

(7:38:19 PM) bradass87: i guess ill tell you the basic life story since im at it already... i was born in oklahoma, lived in the small town of crescent, disproportionately evangelical town... i was the science and computer nerd through school... not the most friendly of places, but i did my best

(7:38:59 PM) ZJ: Yeah, I've heard Oklahoma isn't the most intellectually welcoming place

(7:40:39 PM) bradass87: my father is from chicago, my mother is from britain... they divorced in 2000, my mother gained custody, and then i moved with her to southwest wales, where i finished school... however, she became ill and dependant on alcohol, and i hadnt really assimiliated into british life, so at 17 y/o in desperation i called my father and i went back to oklahoma to live, his new wife didnt exactly like me, so she forced him to kick me out

(7:41:27 PM) ZJ: That's awful... I have a few step-parents and ex-step-parents floating around, and they really suck

(7:41:43 PM) bradass87: i lived in tulsa for a little bit, then chicago, then i settled with my aunt and uncle in potomac maryland

(7:42:51 PM) bradass87: i worked at starbucks, and abercrombie and fitch... as fun as those jobs were they werent really getting me anywhere... i wanted to go to college, but i didnt have any family ties to push it

(7:44:13 PM) bradass87: i started looking for an internship, i had a programming and design one at zoto.com (even today's design elements are mostly my work)

(7:44:58 PM) bradass87: seeing as it was DC, i gave the intel field a shot... got few bites, however

(7:45:51 PM) bradass87: somehow one of my resumes ended up in an army recruiters' hands... and came knocking at my door

(7:46:40 PM) bradass87: and now after basic training and intel school training, i find myself at Fort Drum as an intelligence analyst for 2BCT, 10th Mountain Division

(7:46:53 PM) ZJ: Awesome

(7:47:26 PM) bradass87: its so-so... the army world drives me nuts

(7:48:20 PM) bradass87: i do computations and analytical work, as well as preparing weekly intel briefings for the commander

(7:49:32 PM) bradass87: uhhm... im politically active, even more so after enlisting... living under Don't Ask Don't Tell will certainly do that

(7:49:53 PM) ZJ: Yeah, I can't say I'd ever enlist, for that reason in particular

(7:50:27 PM) bradass87: yes, but seeing as it will get me through college, and i get a bit more

of a story... maybe its worth it =L

(7:50:54 PM) bradass87: anyway, sorry to bore ya with my story =P

(7:51:10 PM) ZJ: No problem... my life story isn't nearly as interesting :P

(7:52:01 PM) ZJ: I've lived around here my whole life, dropped out of high school when I was

14, now I make websites for people

(7:52:56 PM) bradass87: ah, why did you drop out

(7:53:58 PM) ZJ: High school was an intensely unpleasant experience, everyone was at least 2 years older than I was and they were difficult to relate to, nobody there seemed to be interested in actually learning anything, and by the time I was done with sophomore year my grades were so bad they put me in summer school

(7:54:10 PM) ZJ: I didn't care to waste another two years there

(7:54:34 PM) bradass87: ah, yes, being gifted in a public education system sucks ass

(7:54:50 PM) ZJ: So yeah, I just got my ged last year

(7:56:06 PM) bradass87: i was lucky enough to go through the private british curriculm for secondary education, so my experience was a little better... finished that up at 16, but thenturmoil came once again

(7:56:41 PM) ZJ: Sometimes I wonder how I would've done in a different system

(7:59:54 PM) bradass87: well, in the system i was in, the pupils were seperated in classes by their determined ability from the previous year... they called them sets... if you showed ability in a particular subject, you would be placed in a higher "set" with other pupils of similar ability and interest, the lower sets spent more time on teaching the basics to uninterested or unruly pupils, and the higher sets would teach more interesting, extra stuff, with the middle sets teaching by-the-book

(8:01:25 PM) ZJ: Oh yeah, we had that, there were honors classes, academic classes, and basic classes

(8:01:58 PM) ZJ: Initially they just put me in all the honors classes but I didn't really feel like doing the work because it was repetitive and uninteresting, so they moved me to the academic classes

(8:02:05 PM) ZJ: needless to say that didn't really help anything

(8:03:12 PM) bradass87: lol, dont worry, even in britain i flunked math in set 1, and won second in the UK mathematical challenge... my teacher HATED that, he routinely called me out for being such a "yank"

(8:04:37 PM) bradass87: oh well, stuff happens... gotta get through it, and then try to fix it when you get in the position to

(8:04:52 PM) ZJ: yeah

(8:05:12 PM) ZJ: I've always learnt better on my own, I was always learning more after school than I did while I was in school

(8:05:35 PM) ZJ: kinda why I haven't signed up for the community college around here yet, it's not like a community college has courses on information theory

(8:05:45 PM) ZJ: the highest class they have is "microsoft office"

(8:05:53 PM) bradass87: ick

(8:06:08 PM) ZJ: so I figure it's not really worth wasting money on

(8:07:20 PM) bradass87: same thing with me, im reading a lot more, delving deeper into philosophy, art, physics, biology, politics then i ever did in school... whats even better with my current position is that i can apply what i learn to provide more information to my officers and commanders, and hopefully save lives... i figure that justifies my sudden choice to this

(8:08:02 PM) ZJ: yeah, I just research whatever interests me

(8:08:08 PM) bradass87: :-)

(8:08:23 PM) ZJ: I might end up taking some classes on math just to get up to speed, I dropped out before I could take precalc

(8:10:25 PM) bradass87: community college sucks, i spent a semester at montgomery college in maryland... shuffling 2 and 1/2 jobs and covering old topics, and still not being able to afford it... it didnt pay off

(8:11:09 PM) bradass87: i hope i can SOMEHOW get into a nice university and study physics for a bachelors or masters (doctorate if im smart enough?)

(8:12:49 PM) bradass87: anyway, its nice meeting ya =P

(8:13:00 PM) bradass87: i sent you a facebook request

(8:13:11 PM) ZJ: yeah, I added you

(8:14:23 PM) bradass87: ah thank you... im not exactly a democrat btw... i just know the[ ... ] stonewall dems intimately well ;-)

(8:16:08 PM) ZJ: lol, nifty

(8:17:14 PM) bradass87: i have long arms and a wide footprint, despite my low profile near military installations

(8:19:04 PM) bradass87: so where do you plan on going from where you are now?

(8:20:48 PM) ZJ: I don't know, really

(8:20:55 PM) ZJ: I've never been good with long-term planning

(8:21:06 PM) ZJ: I mean, I can make plans... it's the execution part that trips me up

(8:21:17 PM) bradass87: ah yes, of mice and men

(8:25:13 PM) bradass87: my plan is pretty simple but vague... get credentials, nice ones... ones that make it difficult for really creepy conservative people to attack... then jump into politics

(8:25:35 PM) ZJ: I don't know if I'd get involved with politics... activism, maybe

(8:26:53 PM) bradass87: activism is fun

(8:27:13 PM) bradass87: it doesnt do much unless you get heard, however...

(8:30:52 PM) bradass87: worringly, "terrorists" are a form of political activist, however, they recruit young people with troubled lives (a sick family member, extremely poor upbringing, etc) offer them a monetary solution, take them into a camp, give them psychoactive drugs, psyhologically drug them for many months, give them an explosive jacket or rigged vehicle, give them heavy doses of uppers and send them on their way to try and kill themselves... if they go through with it (which is what the uppers are supposed to do)

(8:32:22 PM) bradass87: most of the time though, they just get a poor person, and pay them money

to place roadside bombs

(8:32:54 PM) bradass87: its socio-economic, rather than religous

(8:33:27 PM) ZJ: yeah

(8:33:30 PM) ZJ: it's a tragedy

(8:35:53 PM) bradass87: we try our best to keep it from being a tragedy, thats what all the infrastructure, schools, elections, and military training out there is for

(8:37:09 PM) bradass87: aye... my head hurtz

(8:38:16 PM) bradass87: blah, i talk a lot

(8:38:29 PM) ZJ: I don't mind

(8:38:48 PM) bradass87: thanks =)

(8:40:32 PM) bradass87: so what are you doing now? =P

(8:40:38 PM) ZJ: Making dinner :p

(8:40:52 PM) bradass87: oh sorry, do you need time to eat?

(8:41:00 PM) ZJ: Nah I just bring it to my desk, lol

(8:41:17 PM) bradass87: efficent

(8:41:28 PM) bradass87: just dont get sticky or greasy keys, yuck

(8:41:36 PM) ZJ: Yeah I'm careful about that

(8:41:41 PM) ZJ: I can't stand most sticky things

(8:41:54 PM) bradass87: cant blame ya

(8:44:02 PM) bradass87: i love taking any break from this life... i promised myself i'd go to chicago before i deploy to afghanistan (november-january timefrime)

(8:44:37 PM) bradass87: i do a lakeshore drive run... from grant park to lincoln park

(8:48:12 PM) ZJ: stay safe in afghanistan, dude :\

(8:55:58 PM) bradass87: oh i will try

(8:57:06 PM) bradass87: im more concerned about making sure that everyone, soldiers, marines, contractor, even the local nationals, get home to their families

(8:57:26 PM) ZJ: yeah

(8:58:52 PM) bradass87: i feel a great responsibility and duty to people... its strange, i know

(8:59:03 PM) ZJ: nah, I understand

(9:00:18 PM) bradass87: i appreciate that, i get a lot of puzzled looks and questions from people

(9:01:10 PM) bradass87: so, whats your OS of choice ?

(9:01:20 PM) ZJ: I'm on XP right now

(9:01:26 PM) ZJ: but I used 2000 until last year

(9:01:42 PM) bradass87: do you speak linux

(9:01:56 PM) ZJ: my only experience with linux is when sshing into webservers

(9:02:21 PM) bradass87: ah yes, ssh... the good 'ol days...

(9:02:45 PM) ZJ: when I get a new computer I might install linux on this one

(9:03:07 PM) bradass87: military is all f'd up... contracts with closed source developers with incompatible software... drives me NUTS

(9:03:29 PM) ZJ: that is ridiculous, it's hard to ensure security when the source is unavailable

(9:03:53 PM) bradass87: yes, even worse its often lowest bidder...

(9:05:03 PM) bradass87: used to be the cream of the crop... now its outdated non-backward compatible suites of buggy software that were originally used for civilian purposes, then modified for military but not exactly thoroughly tested

(9:05:36 PM) bradass87: then they get contractors who dont know anything about computers to teach it...

(9:06:42 PM) bradass87: and its all OKAY, because we cant exactly complain out in the open because the software which bugs out is often times on machines which are stamped with big red SECRET stickers

(9:06:57 PM) ZJ: that's pretty lame

(9:07:12 PM) bradass87: it is, it is

(9:07:52 PM) bradass87: but, luckily i use my DC contacts from Starbucks and get the word out to those higher up in the chain...

(9:08:15 PM) bradass87: its not what y'know, its who y'know ;-)

(9:08:56 PM) ZJ: I can imagine two guys in sunglasses meeting at a starbucks to quickly hand over an envelope... just to get some minor bug repaired

(9:10:32 PM) bradass87: lol, glamorous, but no... its more like i knew this lt colonel from the DIA at starbucks before i was in the military... slept with him once or twice, then i get in the military, i notice the problems, call him and say, hey, find someone who can fix this

(9:12:45 PM) bradass87: in public eye, US intel services are mysterious; in the real world, intelligence is a goofy, clunky, and annoying process, slowly adapting and getting streamlined

(9:12:53 PM) bradass87: intellipedia :-D

(9:14:26 PM) ZJ: oh yeah, I heard about that

(9:14:29 PM) ZJ: does it work well?

(9:16:11 PM) bradass87: its sloooooow... they need more servers and bandwidth, and there needs to be more people that are actually interested in online collaboration to add stuff through that disemination channel, but yes, the concept works and is slowly becoming useful

(9:17:32 PM) bradass87: so, got any fun clients ?

(9:19:16 PM) ZJ: not really, just like minor artists who need a site to show their work

(9:21:30 PM) bradass87: brings back so many memories... being a web dev for some clients, its hilarious... a lot of them show you what they want... you roll your eyes and tell them what they actually want, they say they really dont want to veer from that idea, do what you intended anyway, and then they are like: i didn't know that you could do that

(9:22:05 PM) ZJ: mine want the worst color schemes, and I try to make it work well but you can only do so much with some colors, but they like it anyway

(9:23:59 PM) bradass87: there are so many factors that laymen dont think about... readability for typeface sizes, availablity of typefaces on certain machines, colorblindness, varying monitor sizes, and general aesthetic

(9:29:59 PM) bradass87: i spent most of my free time working on a suite of tools: AJAX tools for dynamic pages, PHP/MySQL apps for serverside content, XML-RPC framework for communicating between the front end AJAX and the database, and then a suite of tools for Flash using the XML-RPC

(9:30:55 PM) ZJ: yeah, I don't really do flash/ajax stuff, most of the time it's just static templates, mysql for the more complicated stuff

(9:31:44 PM) bradass87: i like to joke was web 2.0 before web 2.0 =P web 1.9 beta?

(9:32:05 PM) ZJ: web NaN

(9:34:29 PM) bradass87: but it was company funding and lack of manpower that killed my job at zoto... flickr creamed us because my boss was a marketing retard... and my video hosting project for zoto, a hard sell for my boss being an intern... was just an untested theory, and an engine to convert uploaded videos and stream them through Flash... turned out another company took that torch and ran with it

(9:34:53 PM) ZJ: youtube!

(9:35:07 PM) bradass87: of course... =P

(9:36:16 PM) bradass87: not bad for a 17 y/o tho, i came out with a concept engine and framework... i guess an alpha version, to show to my boss about the same time as youtube went beta

(9:36:37 PM) ZJ: that's pretty neat

(9:38:30 PM) bradass87: yeah, but... its all history... inventions are something that one person does and its all them, they are about who discovers them first... tom edison takes credit for inventing the lightbulb; but there were many people working on the idea of incandecent electric lighting willing to take that claim for themselves

(9:39:18 PM) bradass87: but here i am, four years later

(9:39:59 PM) bradass87: a lot of that creative energy has subsided... its still there, its just waiting... i hope

(9:41:48 PM) bradass87: im surprised you havent asked the usual question: why is a gay, libertarian, atheist, computer nerd in the army

(9:42:02 PM) ZJ: well, I can see why you'd have your reasons

(9:42:15 PM) ZJ: if you can use it to your advantage and help other people, that's cool

(9:42:28 PM) ZJ: it does seem like an interesting job, army thing aside

(9:42:32 PM) bradass87: i guess...

(9:43:20 PM) bradass87: oh its fascinating, but it sucks on the count of recieving credit and moving up

(9:43:52 PM) bradass87: we share a lot :-)

(9:46:47 PM) bradass87: >_> hmm, should i order pizza?

(9:47:05 PM) ZJ: depends if it's from a good pizza place

(9:47:18 PM) bradass87: dominoes pizza, fort drum... xD

(9:47:28 PM) bradass87: its, often okay

(9:48:11 PM) bradass87: actually, ill try and order a sandwich... if only subway or quizznos delivered

(9:48:18 PM) bradass87: omg, if starbucks delivered xD

(9:48:22 PM) ZJ: quiznos has good meatball subs

(9:51:43 PM) bradass87: yay, dominos sandwich on its way, i hope it was worth it

(9:52:21 PM) bradass87: what time do you normally go to bed?

(9:52:30 PM) ZJ: usually early in the morning and sleep all day

(9:52:43 PM) ZJ: I've always been that way for some reason

(9:52:55 PM) bradass87: im naturally nocternal

(9:53:15 PM) ZJ: I love the night, it's dark and quiet and I can be alone

(9:55:08 PM) bradass87: but, i must wake up for PT at 0650 every morning, do my few miles of running, cardio, or muscular strength and endurance training with the rest of the section for over an hour, go to my barracks room, shower, get in my uniform, and go to the office for the day, with an hour and a bit for lunch, and i normally get into my room by 1730

(9:55:29 PM) bradass87: weekdays tho... weekends, anything goes =D

(9:56:14 PM) ZJ: yeah, I haven't had to be on a regular schedule for a while

(9:56:25 PM) ZJ: school was difficult because I had trouble getting to sleep early

(9:56:45 PM) bradass87: the digital existence

(9:56:57 PM) ZJ: the internet is 24/7 which is perfect for me

(9:59:33 PM) bradass87: the army took me, a web dev, threw me into a rigid schedule, removed me from my digital self and threw me in the forests of missouri for 10 weeks with an old M-16 reagan era load bearing equipment, and 50 twanging people hailing from places like Texas, Alabama, Georgia, and Mississippi... joy

(9:59:51 PM) ZJ: well that sounds... interesting

(10:00:14 PM) bradass87: oh it was... but frightening at the same time

(10:02:03 PM) bradass87: being around my platoon for 24 hours a day... it took them awhile, but they started figuring me out, making fun of me, mocking me, harassing me, heating up with one or two physical attacks... which i fended off just fine, but it was scary

(10:03:02 PM) bradass87: damn, i just read that... what the hell did i put myself through

(10:03:19 PM) ZJ: yeah, I doubt I'd ever join the military

(10:03:40 PM) bradass87: first they'd cut ur hurr

(10:04:08 PM) bradass87: scream at ya, tell you what to do... correct your every eyetwitch

(10:05:39 PM) bradass87: it serves a simple purpose tho: a sense of unity, duty, and a discipline to act calmly in stressful situations

(10:06:08 PM) bradass87: im sorry, i just keep talking and talking

(10:06:14 PM) ZJ: oh, I don't mind

(10:06:47 PM) bradass87: im sure you can relate somewhat tho

(10:06:56 PM) ZJ: yeah

(10:10:15 PM) bradass87: i actually believe what the army tries to make itself out to be: a diverse place full of people defending the country... male, female, black, white, gay, straight, christian, jewish, asian, old or young, it doesnt matter to me; we all wear the same green uniform... but its still a male-dominated, christian-right, oppressive organization, with a few hidden jems of diversity

(10:10:41 PM) ZJ: yeah, that's kinda what I thought, from reading about it

(10:11:34 PM) bradass87: i think i might write a book when i get older

(10:11:50 PM) ZJ: writing is fun

(10:12:01 PM) bradass87: it is =)

(10:12:36 PM) bradass87: i used to have a blog and youtube vlog... but i had to delete for security reasons...

(10:13:15 PM) bradass87: these days, i work through proxies, im the anecdotal evidence in many of my friends blogs =)

(10:14:31 PM) bradass87: i hope you get a decent pay from your design work

(10:14:40 PM) ZJ: yeah, it's decent

(10:15:24 PM) bradass87: thats good

(10:16:55 PM) bradass87: you should get into college and give it your best shot... just think about the fact that someone like me is spending 4 years in the military just to get the opportunity =P

(10:17:19 PM) ZJ: yeah, it's a big investment, I'd have to be sure to find the right one

(10:19:23 PM) bradass87: im not scared of aiming high... i know its all the same stuff you learn, but those fancy sounding colleges can take your career further if careful... UC berkeley, carnegie mellon, MIT, university of chicago

(10:19:42 PM) bradass87: caltech, etc

(10:19:50 PM) bradass87: cornell =)

(10:20:07 PM) ZJ: yeah, I remember when I was 12 and just starting high school the counselors were like "so what are your plans for college" and it was like, I didn't even know anything ABOUT college

(10:20:31 PM) ZJ: so I just went along with what they said and I was like "okay I'm going to graduate when I'm 16 and go to MIT and be a mathematician and work for the NSA!"

(10:20:41 PM) ZJ: can you believe I actually believed that for a while :p

(10:21:04 PM) bradass87: SIGINT, sounds fun, but is terribly boring in the end...

(10:22:35 PM) bradass87: i think fulfilling childhood dreams can be fun, but im learning that if you dont aim high, you firstly, dont achieve them, and secondly, you find your more *realistic* dreams to be unrewarding...

(10:24:04 PM) bradass87: i want to be like my idols: richard feynman, carl sagan, harvey milk, etc

(10:24:24 PM) ZJ: that would be nice

(10:25:55 PM) bradass87: its not the strongest of people who survive, its the ones most responsive to change

(10:26:10 PM) ZJ: didn't clarence darrow say something like that

(10:26:34 PM) bradass87: close, darwin, just replacing people with species

(10:26:43 PM) bradass87: or the other way around

(10:28:59 PM) bradass87: question: guantanamo bay, the closure is good, but what do we do about the detainees =\

(10:29:43 PM) ZJ: what I want to know is, are these people literally so dangerous that they must be kept in a location outside the country

(10:30:03 PM) ZJ: alternately, are our own prisons in this country so insecure that they can't be relied on to keep prisoners imprisoned

(10:33:01 PM) bradass87: well, some of them are actually pretty dangerous indeed... some of them weren't dangerous before, but are now in fact dangerous because we imprisoned them for so long (don't quote me on that, for the love of my career), and others might, with a little more than an apology would easily fit back into society... who's who... worryingly, you cant really tell

(10:33:38 PM) ZJ: well, one thing's for sure, you can't keep people imprisoned forever without some kind of trial or charges

(10:35:45 PM) bradass87: the reason thats difficult: the things we have tried them on are classified information, connected with other pieces of classified information... so if a trial is done, it might have to be done in some kind of modified trial, where pieces of evidence which are classified are presented only in a classified environment

(10:36:11 PM) bradass87: its all very weird and complicated

(10:36:41 PM) ZJ: and a conviction on the basis of evidence that nobody can know about holds practically no credibility

(10:36:58 PM) bradass87: mhmm

(10:37:10 PM) bradass87: its a bizarre situation

(10:38:59 PM) bradass87: some of them are indeed dangerous, and those that have left have, and i as a liberal and someone against gitmo will tell you... yes, many of those previously released, even though innocent before, are quickly recruited as leading figures for new wings of extremist groups

(10:39:18 PM) ZJ: yeah there are no easy answers to this one

(10:40:49 PM) bradass87: sometimes i wish it were all black and white like the media and politicians present it... him, he's the bad guy, oh and he, he's the good guy... its all shades of blurry grey

(10:48:29 PM) bradass87: is it gray or grey !?

(10:48:38 PM) ZJ: either, I prefer grey

(10:49:01 PM) bradass87: i see "gray" is an americanism

(10:49:59 PM) bradass87: i still write harbour and travelled the british way =P

(10:54:15 PM) bradass87: probably heading to bed soon, eastern time here and i dont want to throw my body all out of whack :P

(10:55:16 PM) bradass87: keeping my boyfriend informed on my status, he's my neuroscience major at brandeis

(10:55:50 PM) ZJ: awesome, neuroscience is fun stuff

(10:56:07 PM) bradass87: it is... he's so zany and cute

(10:57:50 PM) bradass87: he bought me a dozen roses, and i bought us matching equality bracelets to wear

(10:58:02 PM) bradass87: for v-day

(10:58:12 PM) ZJ: aww, that's sweet

(10:58:31 PM) bradass87: lol, he didnt shave tho... drives me nuts when he doesnt shave xD

(10:58:43 PM) bradass87: http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v888/229/42/1370640054/

n1370640054_30195476_4564.jpg

(10:58:56 PM) ZJ: he's a cutie

(10:59:08 PM) bradass87: unshaved: http://photos-e.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-snc1/v888/229/42/1370640054/n1370640054_30193980_8080.jpg

(10:59:47 PM) bradass87: cute, but scruffy =P

(11:00:01 PM) ZJ: lol

(11:00:52 PM) bradass87: he wins the arguement tho, because his stubble isnt abrasive, whereas my 5 o'clock shadow is razorsharp

(11:02:05 PM) bradass87: rawr, he outsmarts me all to often :-)

(11:05:01 PM) bradass87: anyway, im going into semi-sleep mode, it was great talking to you, i hope we can chat again sometime, give me a message whenever, i like to keep in contact =)

(11:08:32 PM) ZJ: alright, later :)

(11:08:54 PM) bradass87: keep posting videos tho, you're onto something, btw ;-)

(11:09:13 PM) bradass87: g'night

Conversation with bradass87 at 2/22/2009 6:35:00 PM on ZJemptv (aim)

(6:35:00 PM) bradass87: hi

(6:35:09 PM) ZJ: Hi

(6:35:24 PM) bradass87: are you familiar with thunderf00t

(6:35:45 PM) ZJ: isn't he that really popular atheist on youtube

(6:35:52 PM) bradass87: yes

(6:36:38 PM) bradass87: turns out he's having an issue with youtube over the votebots, and they suspended his account: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2EAVVIg-WA

(6:37:31 PM) ZJ: wow, did they even bother to explain why

(6:37:49 PM) bradass87: community violation

(6:38:02 PM) ZJ: what the hell is a "community violation" that could be anything

(6:38:16 PM) bradass87: exactly, watch the video, it explains

(6:47:39 PM) bradass87: concerning, huh?

(6:47:56 PM) ZJ: yeah

(7:44:05 PM) bradass87: hey

(7:44:09 PM) ZJ: sup

(7:44:20 PM) bradass87: meh, weekend is ending

(7:44:29 PM) bradass87: back to the grind...

(7:45:34 PM) bradass87: gotta get up, stand around in formation for awhile, do a little running, take a shower, and then tomorrow, i have been scheduled to requalify with the M4 at the firing range ... ugggh

(7:45:53 PM) ZJ: man, it's been years since I've used a gun

(7:46:47 PM) bradass87: its a rifled carbine, but hey, you dont get yelled at if you call it a gun xD

(7:47:03 PM) ZJ: yeah see, I don't know anything about them! :P

(7:47:18 PM) bradass87: which is good

(7:47:27 PM) bradass87: you shouldn't, you don't really need to... =)

(7:47:57 PM) ZJ: yeah, I figure if I don't need a gun, my life is going pretty well

PICK UP

(7:48:06 PM) bradass87: =)

(7:51:08 PM) bradass87: rat-tat-tat... rat-tat-tat... rat-tat-tat... tat-tat... rat-tat-tat... tat-tat... tat-tat... tat-tat

(7:51:34 PM) bradass87: its going to drive me crazy =z

(7:53:06 PM) bradass87: whats the weather like in chi?

(7:53:15 PM) ZJ: cold, it was snowing the other day

(7:53:19 PM) ZJ: now it's just freezing

(7:53:41 PM) bra gtdass87: its windy, with a light sleet

(7:54:08 PM) bradass87: lake effect drop zone: oswego, pulsaki, watertown, and fort drum

(7:54:18 PM) bradass87: 180 inches this year :eyeroll:

(8:24:30 PM) bradass87: what you up to now ?

(8:26:40 PM) ZJ: oh nothing much

(8:27:08 PM) bradass87: =)

(8:45:25 PM) bradass87: i give up, im bored... =P

(8:45:39 PM) ZJ: yeah I'm trying to get a python program to work

(8:45:46 PM) bradass87: eek =L

(8:46:21 PM) bradass87: never been a big fan of python, had mucho problemo with memory leaks

(8:46:42 PM) bradass87: doesn't benchmark well for production either

(8:47:58 PM) bradass87: stackless python was a good fork, imho

(8:48:15 PM) ZJ: yeah I don't really know anything about any of that I'm just learning it

(8:48:50 PM) bradass87: gotchya... what you learning it for? nothing specific i take it?

(8:48:59 PM) ZJ: yeah no real reason just for the hell of it

(8:49:12 PM) bradass87: any current direction? what you trying to do?

(8:49:34 PM) ZJ: I'm just playing around with it, currently using some really basic genetic algorithms

(8:49:42 PM) bradass87: i shee

(8:51:16 PM) bradass87: i last used python at zoto... zoto runs AJAX front-end, PHP mediator, Python organizer for the Database and its BLOB image data

(8:51:31 PM) bradass87: ImageMagick for manipulation of the images

(8:52:49 PM) bradass87: 2.6.1?

(8:53:49 PM) ZJ: yeah, something like that

(8:54:04 PM) bradass87: windows binary?

(8:54:13 PM) ZJ: yeah

(8:54:38 PM) bradass87: k

(8:55:04 PM) ZJ: I have cygwin but it's kind of pointless since python on windows is like, the same thing

(8:55:19 PM) bradass87: cygwin kills memory

(8:55:41 PM) ZJ: open the python interpreter in cygwin, or in windows, it all seems to work the same

(8:56:00 PM) bradass87: yes, but... cygwin runs it slower than the windows native

(8:56:52 PM) bradass87: when writing production software, speed and memory usage are the ultimate achilles heel

(9:02:47 PM) bradass87: my computer just did a HARD crash, not even bluescreen, just went black and froze up (caps lock light didnt blink when key was pressed)

(9:03:05 PM) ZJ: I used to see that happen when it overheated

(9:03:43 PM) bradass87: i was installing the py interp

(9:07:04 PM) bradass87: ok, went fine this time

(9:08:44 PM) bradass87: okies, im going to grab vim now

(9:10:05 PM) bradass87: lol, i haven't played around with programming for awhile ^_^

(9:10:13 PM) ZJ: I tried figuring out vim

(9:10:23 PM) ZJ: but there wasn't really much point to it

(9:10:25 PM) ZJ: since I have scite

(9:11:37 PM) bradass87: doesnt matter, some people will be emacs, some will be vim... im just a native vimmer

(9:11:55 PM) bradass87: i never have to touch the mouse with vim

(9:12:54 PM) bradass87: i feel like my inner child is coming out all of a sudden

(9:15:48 PM) bradass87: can you throw me what you got =o ?

(9:16:38 PM) ZJ: what, scite?

(9:16:47 PM) bradass87: no, what you're working on =)

(9:16:58 PM) ZJ: I'm only working on it because... it's not working right

(9:17:10 PM) ZJ: it's ridiculously bad, I'd be embarrassed for anyone else to see it

(9:17:22 PM) bradass87: im not one to critique

(9:18:01 PM) bradass87: im fascinated

(9:18:17 PM) ZJ: I need to get it in order first

(9:26:13 PM) bradass87: whats it doing?

(9:26:33 PM) ZJ: failing to evolve properly

(9:26:55 PM) ZJ: I made a class for it when previously it was just an assortment of functions, but I've obviously messed something up in the process

(9:27:40 PM) bradass87: ah yes, going from a random set of loosely connected functions to an OOP method, not pretty

(9:27:57 PM) bradass87: still got the assortment of functions?

(9:28:17 PM) ZJ: somewhere around here

(9:28:30 PM) bradass87: backup, dear, backup =)

(9:28:54 PM) bradass87: i usually try and move stuff over one function at a time... tho you cant always do that

(9:32:06 PM) bradass87: :twiddles thumbs:

(9:35:51 PM) bradass87: print "rawr!"

(9:36:52 PM) bradass87: ok, ill stop annoying you

(9:37:00 PM) ZJ: lol

(9:37:34 PM) bradass87: i just want to help, you remind me of... well... me xD

(9:38:01 PM) ZJ: I think this program is beyond rescue, better to start from scratch literally sketching out every step of it as a flowchart

(9:38:08 PM) ZJ: right now it's a helpless entanglement of confusion

(9:38:39 PM) bradass87: heehee, thats what i thought when i reverse-engineered my first content management system, php-nuke

(9:39:07 PM) bradass87: how many lines is it?

(9:39:30 PM) ZJ: like 200, haha

(9:39:34 PM) ZJ: I'm new at this

(9:40:14 PM) bradass87: >whistle< phew... thats a whole 200?

(9:40:31 PM) ZJ: without braces like php and c, there are fewer wasted lines

(9:40:41 PM) bradass87: i knowzit :-)

(9:40:55 PM) bradass87: i remember when 200 lines of anything sounded like a lot

(9:41:15 PM) bradass87: i was like, 9... qbasic

(9:42:34 PM) bradass87: i never got the whole flowchart thing...

(9:42:58 PM) bradass87: probably why i never really got the whole using arithmetic to solve algebra either

(9:45:04 PM) bradass87: im not trying to be fecicious, i just have a wild curiousity and i love to help people

(9:47:54 PM) bradass87: have you already started from scratch?

(9:48:22 PM) ZJ: twice, lol

(9:49:14 PM) bradass87: is it built around a formula?

(9:49:36 PM) ZJ: hardly

(9:49:45 PM) ZJ: if you can call all of this a formula

(9:49:50 PM) ZJ: formula makes me think of math

(9:49:55 PM) ZJ: there isn't much math to this

(9:50:19 PM) bradass87: all programs are math =)

(9:50:37 PM) ZJ: in terms of shunting symbols around, yeah

(9:51:43 PM) bradass87: is it a continuous loop

(9:51:54 PM) ZJ: only until it finds the best answer

(9:52:12 PM) bradass87: 20 questions =P

(9:52:51 PM) bradass87: is it built on a concept by someone else?

(9:53:07 PM) ZJ: yeah, it's adapted from someone else's c++ code for a basic genetic algorithm

(9:53:37 PM) bradass87: GAGS?

(9:53:48 PM) ZJ: dunno what that means

(9:54:53 PM) ZJ: the basic concept for the one I've made is that you set a target of a specific string of bits of a certain length, you generate a population of random bitstrings to begin with, each of them are evaluated with a fitness function to see how well-adapted they are which is just how many points at which it matches the target string

(9:55:04 PM) ZJ: if it matches all of them, it wins and the whole thing is over

(9:55:21 PM) ZJ: but if none of them do, it uses crossover recombination and mutation to generate a new generation

(9:55:22 PM) bradass87: aha

(9:55:33 PM) bradass87: i see how that would work

(9:55:42 PM) ZJ: so they just get closer and closer to the target, you can actually see it happening, until one of them finally gets it right

(9:55:59 PM) bradass87: gui or cmd line?

(9:56:05 PM) bradass87: cmd i assume

(9:56:13 PM) ZJ: command line, I don't know enough python for guis yet

(9:56:27 PM) bradass87: dont

(9:57:16 PM) bradass87: but this is a c, c++ guy saying that, so i have a huge bias =D

(9:58:09 PM) bradass87: so its just a simple genetic algorithm in python :-)

(9:58:14 PM) ZJ: yeah

(9:58:32 PM) ZJ: not even really an algorithm, the bit string would supposedly be a chromosome that codes for a sequence of operations

(9:58:36 PM) ZJ: an algorithm

(9:58:42 PM) ZJ: but I haven't progressed that far yet

(9:58:52 PM) bradass87: base four?

(9:59:37 PM) ZJ: the program I copied it from used sequences of 4 bits to indicate numbers or basic arithmetic operations

(9:59:57 PM) bradass87: :-)

(10:00:06 PM) bradass87: such fun ^_^

(10:00:10 PM) bradass87: <-- crazy

(10:00:15 PM) ZJ: yeah, when it works

(10:00:35 PM) bradass87: 10000 failures are worth the success sometime

(10:02:14 PM) bradass87: y'know whats kind of silly, but practical, and potentially moneymaking, is finding prime number sequencing

(10:06:13 PM) bradass87: that was a project i did back in... late 03?

(10:06:55 PM) bradass87: finding prime numbers with past so many digits, theres a reward for finding one and confirming it

(10:08:42 PM) bradass87: looks like someone actually won that last august, with 13 million digits, UCLA

(10:10:07 PM) ZJ: oh yeah, mersenne prime search

(10:10:16 PM) bradass87: mhmm

(10:10:59 PM) bradass87: mine was written in c, it was a lot simpler than GIMPS, but clunkier and unverifiable

(10:11:50 PM) bradass87: you dabble much in crypto?

(10:11:57 PM) ZJ: not really, no

(10:12:07 PM) ZJ: I figure my information isn't important enough for anyone to steal

(10:12:30 PM) bradass87: Rijndael (AES) kicks ass =P

(10:12:49 PM) bradass87: 12 years, not been broken

(10:14:03 PM) bradass87: thats what we (the government) use

(10:14:14 PM) ZJ: yeah, I've heard about this

(10:15:04 PM) bradass87: what really sucks tho, is the fact that since, we cant break it... because we use it, but its public... so everyone else uses it...

(10:15:24 PM) bradass87: so, that causes issues

(10:16:58 PM) bradass87 is offering to send file rijndael.cpp

(10:17:09 PM) bradass87: this is my implementation of it...

(10:17:20 PM) ZJ: my file transfer doesn't work on pidgin, it just locks up the entire system

(10:17:32 PM) bradass87: ah, i shee

(10:17:34 PM) bradass87 canceled the transfer of rijndael.cpp

(10:18:09 PM) bradass87: its just a simple implementation of rijndael i made, so i could try and figure out a way to break it

(10:18:25 PM) bradass87: <-- phailz

(10:19:01 PM) bradass87: i should probably go to bed and stop bombarding you with nonsense

(10:19:08 PM) ZJ: oh, I don't mind

(10:19:37 PM) bradass87: lol, i guess my nonsense is better than someone elses nonsense

(10:22:13 PM) bradass87: 4865781f20626162791f206865782e

(10:48:06 PM) bradass87: goodnight

(10:48:17 PM) ZJ: gnight

Conversation with bradass87 at 2/27/2009 5:23:18 PM on ZJemptv (aim)

(5:23:18 PM) bradass87: hola

(5:23:26 PM) ZJ: sup

(5:23:42 PM) bradass87: its the weekend, yay

(5:24:28 PM) bradass87: finished producing my brief for brigade staff meeting on monday, all set to chillax for two days =)

(5:24:44 PM) ZJ: cool

(5:25:17 PM) bradass87: snow is finally melting here... i can see the ground again =D

(5:25:30 PM) ZJ: we're still getting a little snow here

(5:25:58 PM) bradass87: we've had snow on the ground since thanksgiving weekend... i cried when i saw my first patch of mud

(5:26:58 PM) bradass87: so hows life ?

(5:27:05 PM) ZJ: pretty good

(5:27:09 PM) ZJ: learning tkinter

(5:27:26 PM) bradass87: fun

(5:27:48 PM) bradass87: i lost a lot of money on the market today

(5:27:58 PM) ZJ: oh dear

(5:29:35 PM) bradass87: i banked a lot of money on the possibility citigroup's government deal was going to mean bailout money for the bank, but the government wasnt going to take a preferred stake... they took a 38% preferred stake, and the already dying price dropped 40%

(5:30:27 PM) bradass87: looks like ill be holding my stake for several months, rather than a few days

(5:31:27 PM) bradass87: i did buy more citi shares while its still so low... its not going to go out of business, so the price will go up...... eventually

(5:31:38 PM) ZJ: yeah, might take a while

(5:32:10 PM) bradass87: my advice: don't play the market

(5:32:29 PM) bradass87: you can make money quickly... but you can lose it just as quick

(5:32:55 PM) ZJ: I don't have enough money to bother with that anyway :P

(5:33:23 PM) bradass87: i started with $1500... i have about $850 now >_>

(5:33:45 PM) ZJ: I think I had like $13000 in stocks before this whole economy thing

(5:33:50 PM) ZJ: now it's been cut in half

(5:33:59 PM) bradass87: heh, hold on to what you got

(5:34:34 PM) bradass87: if you're already playing the game, then go ahead and BUY, BUY, BUY... it'll never be this easy and affordable to play the market

(5:35:09 PM) bradass87: im probably going to dump a good portion of my next paycheck into the market, too

(5:38:32 PM) bradass87: im getting the vibe you're an introvert ?

(5:38:56 PM) ZJ: I don't know, is that like a hard-and-fast distinction that can be determined

(5:39:21 PM) bradass87: it can be

(5:39:40 PM) bradass87: i psychoanalyze too much tho

(6:10:50 PM) bradass87: rawr!... whats going on in chi-town

(6:11:23 PM) ZJ: lol, not very much

(6:11:44 PM) bradass87: big city, lots of suburbs... c'mon, something

(6:11:59 PM) bradass87: closest thing to civilization for me is syracuse 70 miles south =P

(6:12:53 PM) ZJ: yeah, I don't go downtown much

(6:12:58 PM) ZJ: just during christmas

(6:13:07 PM) bradass87: take the opportunity

(6:13:16 PM) bradass87: i mean: TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY

(6:14:00 PM) bradass87: the streets of the downtown major cities are the most fantastic place in this country

(8:35:53 PM) bradass87: you heard about this right http://www.silencingchristians.com/

(8:36:04 PM) ZJ: yeah, not that I've watched it

(8:36:41 PM) bradass87: im slowly watching pieces of it, i can only take a few minutes at a time

(8:37:19 PM) ZJ: fascists with a persecution complex, what else is new

(8:38:17 PM) bradass87: flashy graphics, buzzwords, and a greener "save the environment" ethic

(8:38:47 PM) bradass87: rick warren reference in there :P

(8:39:31 PM) bradass87: a fuzzy warm and friendly fascist is still a fascist, right?

(8:39:47 PM) ZJ: fascism with a smiley face

(8:41:07 PM) bradass87: Love your family. Recycle. Kill Jews.

(7:39:00 PM) bradass87: have you seen AndromedasWake's first few vids of the "Welcome to the Universe" series yet?

(7:40:05 PM) ZJ: I haven't

(7:40:19 PM) bradass87: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5McvNTdEAE&feature=channel_page <-- trailer

(7:40:35 PM) bradass87: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=1BCD9A77E08118F8 <-- playlist (vid 1 and 2)

(7:41:23 PM) ZJ: awesome

(7:52:55 PM) bradass87: its gorgeous =)

(2:35:53 AM) bradass87: i think im going to make my own video =)

(2:36:57 AM) ZJ: cool

(2:37:04 AM) ZJ: it's definitely worth it

(2:37:11 AM) bradass87: im downloading adobe after effects

(2:37:44 AM) bradass87: "Propensity & Intent"

(2:38:10 AM) bradass87: it'll be a history, current status of, and call for repeal of DADT...

(2:38:33 AM) bradass87: narrarative rather than vlog

(2:39:08 AM) ZJ: sounds good

Conversation with bradass87 at 3/2/2009 12:53:19 AM on ZJemptv (aim)

(12:53:19 AM) bradass87: sleep is a crutch :P

(12:58:34 AM) ZJ: I stay awake too long and then crash

(12:58:44 AM) bradass87: hee hee

(12:58:50 AM) bradass87: sounds like the life

(12:59:07 AM) bradass87: intelligent people just cant sleep these days

(12:59:18 AM) bradass87: when so much information is available all the time

(12:59:27 AM) ZJ: yeah

(12:59:57 AM) bradass87: so what are we working on tonight?

(1:00:09 AM) ZJ: watching 24 :D

(1:00:32 AM) bradass87: i think jack bauer is going to save the day, after 22 plot twists of course

(1:00:42 AM) ZJ: we'll see :P

(1:00:57 AM) bradass87: i stopped watching after season 4

(1:01:12 AM) ZJ: but that means you missed out on 5 :<

(1:01:13 AM) bradass87: and now that im living the intel life, its even less likely i will do so

(1:01:27 AM) ZJ: I love their techno jargon

(1:01:31 AM) ZJ: open up a socket!

(1:01:57 AM) bradass87: my favorite cliche in movies and television

(1:02:08 AM) bradass87: the military command room

(1:02:55 AM) bradass87: everything is so sleek and high tech, multiple screens, bright lights, and lots of space, huge amounts of it

(1:04:30 AM) bradass87: in reality, its a dimly lit room crowded to the point you cant move an inch without having to quietly say "excuse me sir" "pardon me sergeant major"... cables trip you up everywhere, papers stacked everywhere...

(1:04:58 AM) ZJ: day 1 is from 2001, it hasn't exactly aged well

(1:05:05 AM) ZJ: I forgot how big cell phones were back then

(1:05:29 AM) bradass87: i just think back to my father's motorola

(1:05:50 AM) bradass87: he gave it to me when he bought a new one when i was a kid

(1:05:59 AM) ZJ: was it the startac?

(1:06:51 AM) bradass87: it was a $5000, 2lb brick... the biggest part was a battery... i pretended it was a machinegun, the antanna was its barrel, and the battery was its ammo clip xD

(1:07:01 AM) ZJ: hahah

(1:07:29 AM) bradass87: oh no, much older

(1:07:53 AM) ZJ: I remember my uncle had a startac, we were like "that's a phone? but it's so tiny!"

(1:08:17 AM) bradass87: http://www.oaktreeent.com/web_photos/Telephones/ Motorola_Brick_Cell_Phone_web.jpg it was this !!!

(1:08:58 AM) ZJ: it would be awesome if everyone had one of those nowadays and they were always jabbering away on it in public

(1:09:18 AM) bradass87: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motorola_DynaTAC

(1:09:40 AM) bradass87: lol

(1:10:38 AM) bradass87: brings back memories

(1:12:17 AM) bradass87: i had a fascination building stuff with lego, and with army stuff with green and tan soldiers... i also had hand-me-down dolls from my sister, barbie dolls...

(1:12:36 AM) bradass87: i used to take the uniforms from GI joe and put them on barbie xD

(1:12:52 AM) ZJ: legos were so cool

(1:13:53 AM) bradass87: im strange, i know

(1:14:20 AM) bradass87: i never understood the "legos" thing tho, the "s" added onto it sounds weird

(1:14:48 AM) ZJ: people like to have a way to differentiate between singular and plural

(1:14:59 AM) ZJ: lego, lego?

(1:15:02 AM) ZJ: lego, legos

(1:15:04 AM) bradass87: its plural

(1:15:07 AM) bradass87: already tho

(1:15:16 AM) ZJ: a lego then?

(1:15:25 AM) bradass87: its a brick

(1:15:35 AM) bradass87: so in a sense, its an ajective

(1:15:42 AM) bradass87: my spelling sucks this time of night

(1:15:46 AM) bradass87: adjective

(1:16:14 AM) bradass87: blah blah blah, shutup brad

(1:16:37 AM) ZJ: lol

(1:16:48 AM) bradass87: i should sleep more often

(1:17:01 AM) bradass87: but theres so much to do, and talk about, and learn

(1:17:36 AM) bradass87: i discovered something about my boyfriend tonight

(1:17:41 AM) ZJ: really?

(1:17:47 AM) bradass87: mhmm

(1:18:42 AM) bradass87: we took a quiz together, one of those think of anyone in the woods things

(1:19:28 AM) bradass87: well, when it came to who is most important to our lives, i answered with his name

(1:19:43 AM) bradass87: his response was god...

(1:19:50 AM) ZJ: oh dear

(1:20:09 AM) bradass87: awkward?

(1:20:15 AM) ZJ: quite

(1:20:33 AM) bradass87: it hasnt been a problem as of yet

(1:21:06 AM) bradass87: but i figure down the line we might have to reconcile

(1:21:31 AM) ZJ: it usually comes up at some point

(1:22:19 AM) bradass87: he's a regular churchgoer, a devout catholic, converted in his early teens, from jewish parents

(1:22:45 AM) bradass87: i was raised catholic, so i get the whole schpiel

(1:23:40 AM) bradass87: but i think this is a point where i truly dont understand him...

(1:24:14 AM) bradass87: that tells me his faith obviously means a whole lot to him

(1:24:36 AM) ZJ: why would someone leave their religion, and then join another

(1:24:50 AM) ZJ: if you've realized that one religion is false, how can you not extend that to every religion?

(1:25:06 AM) bradass87: i dont know, i dont have answers... if i did, i wouldnt be fuzzled

(1:27:04 AM) bradass87: this is the first time ive sensed a problem... i just hope itll be okay, because i love him

(1:27:36 AM) ZJ: I'm sure you two can work through it

(1:27:51 AM) bradass87: mhmm,

(1:28:15 AM) bradass87: it certainly caught me off guard tho

(1:28:28 AM) bradass87: since i place value on people first

(1:31:14 AM) bradass87: my personal value to things in order: dirt/rocks/ice, single-celled organisms, plants, man-made objects, various animals, mammalian animals, people

(1:31:29 AM) ZJ: that makes sense

(1:31:35 AM) ZJ: gods wouldn't even enter the picture for me

(1:31:42 AM) bradass87: me either

(1:31:59 AM) ZJ: it's important only in the sense of the effects that the concept has on people

(1:32:51 AM) bradass87: it just felt, weird... being his boyfriend, being in love with him, and feeling he is the most important person in the world to me, and then he places his faith above me

(1:34:41 AM) bradass87: as you can tell, it bothers me a little... >_>

(1:34:50 AM) ZJ: yeah

(1:35:05 AM) ZJ: religion messes people up

(1:35:14 AM) ZJ: it corrupts their priorities in life

(1:37:33 AM) bradass87: ive asked him about it before... he's nice about it, and he knows im far, far, from religous... but you're right, ive asked him about how he can reconcile his ways with his beliefs and he explains it in terms of "faith" and "feeling god"... i just shrugged these off

(1:52:14 AM) bradass87: im sure jack bauer is doing some amazing stuff... teleporting across los angeles in minutes

(1:52:40 AM) ZJ: someone actually made a site to calculate that

(1:52:51 AM) ZJ: where he was, where he was going, how long it took to get there

(1:52:57 AM) ZJ: and they would make realistic maps of this

(1:53:06 AM) ZJ: at times he exceeded 600 mph

(1:58:36 AM) bradass87: i knew a man who was with 1st SFOD-D, commonly referred to as "Delta Force"

(1:58:47 AM) bradass87: scariest man i ever met

(2:00:20 AM) bradass87: he would appear and disappear, hear and see stuff like where the hell did you find that out at, jump over fences without a sound

(2:00:23 AM) bradass87: just crazy stuff

(2:01:03 AM) bradass87: he had a combat knife with him at all times, he would throw it at wood and make it stick inside to scare you

(2:01:26 AM) bradass87: i know liars and fakes, but this guy was holy shit

(2:02:59 AM) bradass87: would you call Iraq and Afghanistan wars?

(2:03:20 AM) ZJ: not like, a WWII kind of war or anything

(2:03:29 AM) ZJ: depends on the criteria for war

(2:03:39 AM) bradass87: i was just thinking about how we refer to them as wars, commonly

(2:03:53 AM) bradass87: would say that there is a "war" in mexico?

(2:04:15 AM) bradass87: even though, more casualties from drug cartel related violence are occuring there

(2:04:32 AM) ZJ: hmm

(2:04:37 AM) ZJ: I'm not sure, really

(2:04:45 AM) ZJ: for either, you could use the more generic term conflict

(2:04:45 AM) bradass87: i know, its weird

(2:05:12 AM) bradass87: i was just thinking about that this morning..

(2:05:46 AM) bradass87: we've been watching carefully

(2:06:09 AM) bradass87: since its in our back yard, of course

(2:06:36 AM) bradass87: Sinaloa, Gulf, Los Zetas,

(2:07:39 AM) bradass87: 6000 killed last year, and thats not the ACTUAL total >nudge<

(2:14:31 AM) bradass87: oh fuck, i should sleep

(2:14:35 AM) bradass87: gn'ight

(2:14:38 AM) bradass87: g'night

(2:14:43 AM) ZJ: gnight

Conversation with bradass87 at 3/8/2009 6:05:59 PM on ZJemptv (aim)

(6:05:59 PM) bradass87: do you know latin?

(6:09:24 PM) ZJ: not really, no

(6:18:09 PM) bradass87: trying to learn... i am linguistically challenged

(6:18:34 PM) ZJ: yeah I took a couple years of it like... 7 years ago

(6:18:37 PM) ZJ: but I forgot it

(6:19:05 PM) bradass87: conjugations... declinations or something like that... my head is about to explode

(6:20:16 PM) bradass87: puer, puella, vir, femina...

(6:20:25 PM) bradass87: thats my knowledge in a nutshell :-)

(6:20:58 PM) bradass87: pueri, puellae, viri, feminae... just doubled my knowledge

(2:36:56 AM) bradass87: hi

(2:37:01 AM) ZJ: sup

(2:37:18 AM) bradass87: heh, went to sleep early, and i woke up in the middle of the night... yay?

(2:37:29 AM) ZJ: lol I hate when that happens

(2:37:48 AM) bradass87: my head is spinning

(2:38:18 AM) bradass87: >sigh<

(2:38:40 AM) bradass87: ive got foreign affairs on my mind constantly now...

(2:39:31 AM) bradass87: mexico's spiralling violence, pakistan's instability, north korea's rhetorical posturing... blah blah blah

(2:40:20 AM) bradass87: one of the bad parts of the job, having to think about bad stuff

(2:40:48 AM) ZJ: I've just been catching up on 24... I suppose it's like foreign affairs for complete idiots

(2:41:33 AM) bradass87: hehehe... well, the jason bourne club isnt as fun as television and movies make it out to be

(2:42:00 AM) bradass87: just read a state department release...

(2:42:49 AM) bradass87: keep a smile on your face, and a knife behind your back

(2:44:08 AM) bradass87: im going to boston this weekend, that might put my mind at ease for at least a moment

(2:45:07 AM) ZJ: I've never been to boston, is it nice

(2:46:28 AM) bradass87: its lovely... i spend a lot of time in the college portions with my boyfriend... he goes to brandeis in Waltham, Mass... we go to Cambridge a lot when im there, where Harvard and MIT are

Conversation with bradass87 at 3/22/2009 11:20:16 PM on ZJemptv (aim)

(11:20:16 PM) bradass87: hello

(11:22:37 PM) ZJ: sup

(11:22:49 PM) bradass87: late night...

(11:23:32 PM) ZJ: indeed

(11:24:31 PM) bradass87: im getting back into my programmer mode, albeit not deeply

(11:26:35 PM) bradass87: im working on an Incident Tracker for my unit, to update the current one we have from the unit's last deployment

(11:27:39 PM) bradass87: http://www.designerbrad.com/its/index.php

(11:28:02 PM) bradass87: it gives me a chance to play with php/mysql/ajax

(11:30:20 PM) ZJ: nifty

(11:31:19 PM) bradass87: its coming along nicely so far, i figure

(11:31:34 PM) bradass87: heh, none of it is usable at all

Conversation with bradass87 at 5/3/2009 8:29:34 PM on ZJemptv (aim)

(8:29:34 PM) bradass87: in DC =D

(8:29:59 PM) bradass87: hi, btw

(8:34:47 PM) ZJ: hi

(8:36:36 PM) bradass87: taking classes in the day, playing politics in the evening

(8:36:40 PM) bradass87: i love this town

(8:38:09 PM) bradass87: im attending two major events... a gavin newsom gubernatorial fundraiser, then a stonewall democrats capitol champions thingie

(8:38:33 PM) ZJ: sweet

(8:39:11 PM) bradass87: ive got a photo scheduled will gavin newsom, and ill be hobnobbing with congressional folk at the other event

(8:39:16 PM) bradass87: *with

(8:39:54 PM) bradass87: ill be sure to bring up issues regarding religion and homophobisa

(8:40:07 PM) bradass87: *phobia

Conversation with bradass87 at 8/1/2009 8:59:01 PM on ZJemptv (aim)

(8:59:01 PM) bradass87: howdiddly

(8:59:30 PM) ZJ: sup

(8:59:51 PM) bradass87: not much

(9:00:12 PM) bradass87: i got back from ft polk recently

(9:00:29 PM) ZJ: cool

(9:00:45 PM) bradass87: what have you been up to

(9:01:08 PM) ZJ: right now I'm having a live show on blogtv

(9:01:26 PM) bradass87: oh wow...

(9:01:56 PM) bradass87: how long are you doing that for?

(9:02:05 PM) ZJ: for the next 11 hours or so

(9:03:30 PM) bradass87: ah, i shee... i found the link, its connecting now

(9:04:20 PM) bradass87: seem to be getting a lot of harassment =L

(9:04:33 PM) ZJ: oh, they're always like that

(9:06:23 PM) bradass87: i used to do a webcam show a few years ago... no-one watched of course

(9:09:01 PM) bradass87: where is everyone chattering to you from?

(9:09:14 PM) ZJ: http://www.blogtv.com/people/ZJemptv

(9:09:19 PM) ZJ: there is a box on the right side

(9:09:56 PM) bradass87: had to refresh... i guess the page was broken

(9:13:31 PM) bradass87: i briefed the 2-10 Brigade Combat Team (BCT), Colonel Miller about 6 times during JRTC in Louisiana on a classified webcam... of course it was buggy as all hell

(9:13:39 PM) bradass87: my bad

(9:13:42 PM) ZJ: no problem

(9:13:45 PM) ZJ: this lags like hell too

(9:13:51 PM) ZJ: because my system is slow

(9:19:14 PM) bradass87: sorry to AIM again: what do you plan on doing jobwise over the course of the next 2 years?

(9:19:29 PM) ZJ: probably get a job at kmart or something

(9:19:51 PM) bradass87: are you sure about that?

(9:20:36 PM) ZJ: no, I might end up at walgreens...

(9:21:47 PM) bradass87: hmm... how about public relations?

(9:24:33 PM) bradass87: you have talent

(9:24:41 PM) ZJ: in public relations?

(9:25:08 PM) bradass87: you're online with 66 viewers... you make a lot of open and honest videos

[ ... ]

(9:41:24 PM) bradass87: i'd like to hire you / work with you in the future

(9:41:47 PM) ZJ: really?

(9:42:10 PM) bradass87: yes

(9:45:32 PM) bradass87: you probably think im crazy =P

(9:45:44 PM) ZJ: not necessarily :P

(9:46:22 PM) bradass87: indeed you are

(9:47:53 PM) bradass87: how have you been supporting yourself, financially?

(9:50:19 PM) ZJ: currently I'm living with my parents and doing odd jobs regarding technology

(9:56:00 PM) bradass87: im not sure how my life is going to pan out over the next 26 months...

(9:57:11 PM) bradass87: 2 months pre-deployment, 12 months of iraq... and another 12 months of recovery and garrison... all assuming i dont get discharged under DADT... but the moment i leave the military, im planning on breaking out in all directions

(9:57:46 PM) ZJ: man, stay safe in iraq

(10:01:26 PM) bradass87: im an analyst, i shadow a brigade commander... also, the shia majority in the location we are going doesn't want to screw around with the US... theyre stockpiling fresh weapons... because the moment they leave, they plan on removing sunnis out of the region to the southeast and northeast of baghdad

(10:02:01 PM) bradass87: im trying to figure out a way to prevent a civil war the second we leave

(10:02:47 PM) ZJ: that sounds very bad

(10:03:22 PM) bradass87: if you're busy, i can leave you alone

(10:03:47 PM) ZJ: no, go ahead

(10:08:50 PM) bradass87: i can provide you with some training / support over the next few months for technical matters... if you would like...

[ ...] damn shift tab wont let me finish

(10:11:58 PM) bradass87: *shift return

(10:16:28 PM) bradass87: i hope im not creeping you out

(10:16:34 PM) ZJ: of course not

(10:49:40 PM) bradass87: have you been to the guitar center on N Halsted?

(10:49:57 PM) ZJ: I've been to a guitar center but I suck at directions so it may have been that one

(10:50:48 PM) bradass87: haha, the only other one is in Gary someplace... so yes that was it... i worked there for a brief period of time during my travels in a 1992 nissan pickup

(10:51:02 PM) ZJ: I see

(10:52:01 PM) bradass87: any interest in an AJAX driven blog / content management system

(10:52:19 PM) ZJ: I've done CMSes but not with ajax

(10:53:26 PM) bradass87: ive built an XML-RPC client / server engine, which im currently using for the brigade event tracking system

(10:54:20 PM) bradass87: its a mishmash of freetext data management, geospatial data management, and statistical data

(10:55:37 PM) bradass87: i get this feeling like all of it has business potential, but im stuck here >sigh<

(11:04:07 PM) bradass87: im enjoying your debates =)

(11:13:49 PM) bradass87: http://swisharmy.wordpress.com/ boyfriend's blog

(11:19:00 PM) bradass87: brian green - elegant universe -- great resource

(11:19:05 PM) bradass87: on string theory

Conversation with bradass87 at 8/7/2009 10:30:22 PM on ZJemptv (aim)

(10:30:22 PM) bradass87: hello again

(10:30:31 PM) ZJ: hi

(10:30:37 PM) bradass87: what you up to?

(10:32:04 PM) bradass87: >ahem>

(10:32:10 PM) ZJ: probably gonna make some food, I haven't eaten all day

(10:32:12 PM) bradass87: sorry, pressed wrong button somewhere

(10:32:22 PM) ZJ: but I did wake up only a couple hours ago

(10:32:32 PM) bradass87: fun fun

(10:32:41 PM) bradass87: i took a nap earlier

(10:33:11 PM) bradass87: >sigh<

(10:34:59 PM) bradass87: i dont mean to sound overdramatic, but im quite lonely

(10:37:31 PM) ZJ: aww

(10:37:42 PM) bradass87: im okay

Conversation with bradass87 at 8/8/2009 1:55:17 AM on ZJemptv (aim)

(1:55:17 AM) bradass87: are you familiar with meyers-briggs?

(1:55:27 AM) ZJ: the personality types? vaguely yes

(1:55:33 AM) bradass87: do you know yours?

(1:56:04 AM) ZJ: I think I was ISTJ last time I checked

(1:56:22 AM) bradass87: <-- ENTJ

(2:01:12 AM) bradass87: blah -- i wish there were something to do

(2:03:23 AM) bradass87: everyone is asleep =L

Conversation with bradass87 at 8/10/2009 1:59:32 AM on ZJemptv (aim)

(1:59:31 AM) bradass87: hello again =D

(1:59:43 AM) ZJ: sup

(1:59:48 AM) bradass87: blah

(1:59:56 AM) bradass87: another late night

(2:00:03 AM) ZJ: yeah, same

(2:00:27 AM) bradass87: at least you're an hour behind me

(2:01:39 AM) bradass87: do you know of "kalamazoo, michigan" ?

(2:01:54 AM) ZJ: I've heard of the place

(2:02:17 AM) bradass87: lol, i might be going there in the next month or so...

(2:02:40 AM) bradass87: its... out there

(2:02:51 AM) bradass87: but i guess im in the middle of nowhere as well

(2:04:03 AM) bradass87: what do you think of the olsen-boies lawsuit thing

(2:04:19 AM) ZJ: I don't know if it's the best strategy

(2:04:30 AM) ZJ: it seems like they could be risking a lot

(2:04:35 AM) bradass87: mhmm

(2:04:59 AM) bradass87: im thinking it has a whole lot to do with ego

(2:05:31 AM) ZJ: it just seems weird olson would be involved with something like that

(2:05:58 AM) bradass87: indeed... im very skeptical

(2:06:27 AM) bradass87: the good news is that the case would be withdrawn if prop 8 were to be repealed in 2010

(2:06:53 AM) ZJ: are they waiting until 2012, though

(2:07:25 AM) bradass87: i dont honestly know... its all a big grassroots mess

(2:11:26 AM) bradass87: no leadership

(2:11:33 AM) ZJ: yeah

(2:12:04 AM) bradass87: id love to take the reins >=D

Conversation with bradass87 at 8/11/2009 12:58:07 AM on ZJemptv (aim)

(12:58:07 AM) bradass87: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6217214475742003000 very interesting... "how to start a cult" -- very very similar to basic training