Weezer offered $10 million to retire 2010-10-06 by LTDA | 212 Comments



Burns hopes the raise the money on DIY fundraising website thepoint.com, with individuals encouraged to pledge $12 apiece to the cause.



Weezer drummer Patrick Wilson responded on Twitter, joking: “if they can make it 20, we’ll do the 'deluxe breakup'!”



Burns' full statement reads: "I have never been a fan of this band. I think that they are pretty much horrible, and always have been. Even in the early 90’s.



"But this isn’t about me. This is about the Weezer fans. They are our brothers and sisters, our friends, our lovers.



"Every year, Rivers Cuomo swears that he’s changed, and that their new album is the best thing that he’s done since 'Pinkerton,' and what happens? Another pile of crap like 'Beverly Hills' or 'I’m Your Daddy.'



"This is an abusive relationship, and it needs to stop now.



"I am tired of my friends being disappointed year after year.I am tired of endless whimsical cutesy album covers and music videos.



"I’m sick of hearing about whatever this terrible (and yes, even if you like the early stuff, you should be able to admit that they are wretched now) excuse for a band is up to these days.



"If all 852,000 of you (really?) who bought 'Pinkerton' pitch in $12, we will meet our goal.



"I beg you, Weezer. Take our money and disappear."



http://www.thepoint.com/campaigns/campaign-0-1079 Seattle resident James Burns has begun an effort to raise $10 million in order to pay Weezer to stop making music.Burns hopes the raise the money on DIY fundraising website thepoint.com, with individuals encouraged to pledge $12 apiece to the cause.Weezer drummer Patrick Wilson responded on Twitter, joking:Burns' full statement reads:

Tagged: Weezer Tweet

Comments: Add a Comment

hahahahahaha



Digging: Cloudkicker - Solitude

LOL





Lame.





DON'T DO IT! Hurley was good!





XDXDXD





Who do I send my check to?





omg, tooo funny





"I have never been a fan of this band. I think that they are pretty much horrible, and always have been. Even in the early 90’s.



idiot





best pledge ever





This is pretty awesome, does he accept Paypal?



Digging: Skeletal Remains - The Entombment of Chaos

HOLYFUCKINGLOL





Lol @ Patrick's response





omg lol





i really, really hope this doesn't happen. because if hurley is any indication, weezer may have some fight left in them



oh, and $10 it won't





Hurley was lame.





I'm in.





hahahahah this is awesome





this was pretty funny but who the fuck does he think he is





You're lame.





No-one contribute until they tour Oz. Maybe we should start a collection down under.





where do i sign up





noone do it



only $132 towards it so far





This is actually pretty damn funny. I just started listening to Weezer too...





this was pretty funny but who the fuck does he think he is



This



If Weezer weren't the idiots I think they are this could actually make them wake up and smell the coffee a little bit in regards to their musical direction as of late





this would be relevant in 2009, but wake up people, hurley was alright.





LOL





Hurley still sucked, it just happened to be better than Raditude





i didn't think it sucked





it most definitely did not suck, the avg user rating is correct





vhat





weezer pumping out a ton more average albums so worth it.



but this is pretty hilarious ngl





So.. what if this guy just takes all of this money for himself?



If so, he's a fucking genius.





"weezer pumping out a ton more average albums so worth it."



weezer always has a few great songs with every album, so yes





Holy fuck that would be genius





lulz



singles bands are totally the way to go man



who gives a shit if the album has 10 horrible songs and 1 good one





i would've thought this after raditude, but hurley was ok...



still major lulz though





I should do this, but for 3OH!3 or something easier. Then keep all of the money after they refuse to retire.





this is funny but also a waste





i hope this happens



Digging: Kairon IRSE! - Polysomn

Just wondering, is it actually illegal if he kept the money?





Of course it is, he's misleading the public.





hahaha weirddd





So.. what if Weezer refused to accept the money? Then what?





lots of refunds?





why don't these people put their money into something worthwhile like stopping that U2 spider-man musical from happening.





i think a cheaper/easier alternatives for all parties would be to follow my lead and stop giving a shit





this is too funny





what the hell hahahaha.





If Weezer refused, he'd be forced to give the money back to the people.





lol WTF this is awesome.





Could declare himself a health insurance company and use a quarter of the money for "administrative costs."





hahaha i fucking lol'd



but i wish they did this for a band other than weezer...



Digging: Movements - No Good Left To Give

That'd be one hell of a case.





saying Hurley was good is like saying



"well, Darth Maul and his double saber was pretty cool..."





NOOOO

yes the suck but they are going to do a contest where they play blue one night then pink the next one...and then they can go away forever.





you're not a moron for that. you're a moron for being a douche and refusing to post funny imgs. almost as bad as pit now.





hurley has 2 amazing songs and 8 or whatever good-to-eh songs





I'll pitch in.





this honestly made my day so much better. this is roflxcore lol









lmfao, this guy needs a life. the only reason that i would halfway support something like this is if it were Brokencyde.



Like theyre going to break up anyway even if the mark is met.

XD chuckle





Oh man, so many people joke, talk, and hope bands retire, this guy took it to a whole new level!





HOLE

NOTHA

LEVEL





This is great





The best thing about Hurley was the album cover

which was godly





Actual lol. Especially if he takes the money.





apply this principle to Nickelback







This is fantastic. Especially because Weezer does suck ass. But I, too, think he's scamming. I mean even if it is illegal he could get out of the U.S. and then some. But.. telebyrd ftw. Shoulda done it for nickelback. or..... THE BIEBS





hahahaha this is incredible. love it.





Why would he pay them 10 million to retire when he can pay a crazy guy 1 million to assassinate?





good point MindTrain





hahahahhahahha that is fucking amazing! i am giving 20 bucks. fuck weezer





"they are pretty much horrible, and always have been. Even in the early 90’s."



sounds pretty accurate to me





this is the best news article ever.





I can't stop laughing.



But MindTrain has a great point. I bet someone who really wanted them dead would do it for free, even!





Bahahahahaha!!





This is pretty bad ass in general





ill pitch in.





If someone did this for Metallica after they released St. Anger not only would the money have been raised in a day, but they would have taken it too.





haha im so down for this





@ bfhurricane the world would be a much better place if that happened





I'm speechless.





Maybe Obama will force them into retirement for "national security". I heard the "Weezer Kill Switch" bill was headed for the senate.





So so funny





Legend. Someone buy this man a beer.





hahaha fuck yes weezer sucks so hard. even blue album and pinkerton





The "Weezer Retirement Stimulus Plan."



It's already up for vote in the Senate.





Texans are looking pretty good, Josh. But the Cowboys suck balls. The Rangers won their first playoff game today, though. Woot.





The "Opeth Forced-Acquittal Plan."



Even better, the "Dillinger Won't Escape From This" Plan.





roflcopter





This is awesome.





"Why would he pay them 10 million to retire when he can pay a crazy guy 1 million to assassinate?"



You will have my Bow!





And my axe.





hahaha





Someone appreciates my nerdy LOTR reference.





....I really dont want to finish this line....

I just want to find out where to donate.

not to get them retired, the whole assassinate thing.





LMAO!!!





lol pretty funny actually.





This si the funniest thing I have heard in a while.





LOL





Boycotting buying new weezer albums would save people money and make the same point even though it might not have the same immediate dramatic effect as this. This would probably never happen though and considering Hurley was a slight improvement it seems increasingly impossible that it ever would.





'memories' is such a bad song. they should call it a day.





This page has now been added to the new Webster dictionary as an example under "Tired Hipster Bullshit".



In related news Tim Burton still doesn't give a fuck that you don't like anything he's done since Edward Scissor Hands.





OMFGWTFBBQROFLMAO





Like people are going to contribute another $12 toward Weezer, who they hate anyway





My God, this made me laugh.





Weezer is bad but they're the least of music's problems.





"You will have my Bow!"

"And my axe."



I lol'd so hard.



This is still absurd.





...and at the end of the day, those who participate will be down $12 dollars that could've gone towards helping the music industry, Weezer will still put out another album that you aren't forced to listen to, and some dude is going to have all of your money. Amen.





^ my thoughts exactly. This actually sounds like a clever get rich quick scheme.





This guy just made my day. After Glee surpassing The Beatles, I needed something to make me smile. I'm soooo gonna donate.



Digging: Dead To Fall - The Phoenix Throne

what a dolphin! lol!





its not a get rich quick scheme, you "pledge" money which you don't owe unless the 10 million is fulfilled and weezer actually do break up. then you pay what you pledged.





I'm more confused as to why they don't consider this a kick in the pants and try to write good music. what the fuck ever.







This guy just made my day. After Glee surpassing The Beatles, I needed something to make me smile. I'm soooo gonna donate.





what a prick this dude is





I do what a can, qwe3. I'm here to offend you, and you alone. Happy days.





Just don't destroy my sweater.





i wasn't offended, i was just calling you a prick dude





This is true.





lmao ridiculous. really interested to hear some statements from Cuomo and the rest of the band about this





haha awesome





As funny as this is, because it really is, there are kids dying of hunger everyday in the world. 10 Million would go a long way to feeding them, whoever gives money to this when there are so many better uses for the money is pretty much incredibly amazingly impassably stupid.





^^ spoil sport





Because $10M to break up Weezer is definitely the best use of the money!



[img]http://attrition.org/postal/asshats/asshat.jpg[/img]





Some people give a shit about the less-fortunate too, nothing wrong with that.





hellz to the no!





lul the guys a dick and hilarious at the same time





He's shutting it down Monday at noon.



"So, I’ll be shutting this campaign down at noon on Monday.



Why?



Well, I didn’t raise $10 Million, and Weezer are still a band, but I accomplished everything I ever hoped to."





lol



what a fucking asshole though





Only in America...





" Hey, I’m going to break character here for a minute, okay? Okay.



The amount of attention this thing has gotten is unreal. I expected to ruffle a few feathers, but this is pretty insane.



So, I’ll be shutting this campaign down at noon on Monday.



Why?



Well, I didn’t raise $10 Million, and Weezer are still a band, but I accomplished everything I ever hoped to.



I figured since the internet wasted so much of my time with all the ridiculous articles about the new Weezer album, I thought I’d return the favor and waste some of the internet’s time.



Boy howdy, did I succeed.



So in case there was any doubt (and if there was, all I can say is that you’re dumber than me) that this campaign was anything more than a giant piss-take, I’ll leave you with these last words:



I did it for the lulz.



toodle pip,

James."



Awwwwww





We're losing focus here people...we need to start up one of these to get Justin Bieber kicked out of Canada.

I don't care where he goes, but I'm ashamed that he was born on the same proud land I was, let's try & raise 10 million (10.1 million Cnd) to send that douchebag to some deserted island in the Caribbean where he can never hurt anyone again with his awful music.





He's my cousin.





Sup Michael Como





That's Dante Cuomo to you, bub





Moar liek Dante Homo





I hate you.





Just don't bring that Beiber faggot back to America. If he comes to Texas, he'll need secret service for all the hate he has here.





He can come to my house and he can bring the 15 year old honeys with him.





So did this guy get any money?





He said nobody would be charged unless they reached $10 million.





why does Weezer make such terrible music these days? I miss the days of Blue and Pinkerton. and i think i speak for 99% of people who know anything about music at all. id give $12 to attempt an album like that again but if i get another Hurley in exchange i might shit my self!





why does Weezer make such terrible music these days? I miss the days of Blue and Pinkerton. and i think i speak for 99% of people who know anything about music at all. id give $12 to attempt an album like that again but if i get another Hurley in exchange i might shit my self!





nice, you're two posts in and it was a double post!



yet another funny, and original, twist to weezer's history.





James Burns will get his $10 mill. Weezer will call their best friend Brett Gurewitz and sue the holy crap out him for that $10 mill. Then they will make another record and name it "JAMES" and track 1 will be "THXX FOR THE 10 MILL, BURNS!"





I wonder how bummed the members of Weezer were when they found out they wouldn't be receiving 10mil and would have to continue playing the same damn songs for another 10 years.





Is he wanting them to stop touring as well? I don't mind them not making music anymore but I've heard good things about their shows and the Weezer Cruise





I hope they take the money and break up so they can reform under a new name





'Lame.'





shut up crandy





I remember this



Digging: Killing Joke - Brighter Than a Thousand Suns

I saw this under "most viewed" and thought it happened again.





I thought this happened recently until I saw the date after the second read.





I am tired of my friends being disappointed year after year.I am tired of endless whimsical cutesy album covers and music videos



God! What a pussy! Of all the things to bitch about and rise money for, the idiot chose this?





Posted on 2010-10-06



Holy shit, didn't even notice. Anyway they need to reboot this campaign.





^^ this



Lol didn't even realize I was lookin at a 4 yr old thread





wow I remember this thread



time flies





agreed





How much money did they raise? I heard some guy raised $19K just because people didn't want him to eat his pet rabbit.





lmao thats genius





this is fucking hilarious





I so wish I kept Flappy Bird on my iPad.





Yeah it sucked, that's why I deleted it the day I downloaded it lol. Crap though, I could go for $100K, that'd be nice.





Man of the year.





Give him a medal of honor





I like Weezer though :'(





This is hilarious





They should have left after Pink, broke up never to return again





Damn I gotta jailbroken iPad air with flappy bird





Any takers?





I have Flappy Bird





To quote the Miracle Max, "Now THAT is a noble cause!"





I agree with this man but I would never go on a crusade like this.





someone just Venmo me forty US dollars and i'll have them exiled to Guam





if this works we should do the same thing with Asking Alexandria



dat god-awful cover doe





Personally, I love the Red Album, Raditude, and Hurley. Their worst album is Maladroit. Everything else is pretty great.



Also - this news story is from 2010.





this made my day





I hope all those commenting know that this is a 4 year old thread



spoiler: it didn't happen





this was so funny. can't believe i was reading this same article four years ago on this site. time is a mother fucker





Maybe someone else will beg them to die off again





Weezer had two bad albums. Granted, both were like the shittiest albums ever made, but everything else they've done has been mostly good or at least average. Peeps need to chill.





I don't like these guys at all, even the "heyday" albums





Blue and Pink are literally the band's saving graces





And I don't like them either, lol





i could list a thousand bands worse than weezer. pinkerton is actually a really, really fucking good album. blue is pretty tight too, and some of green and hurley





I actually dig Perfect Situation a bit





their first ruled. after that it went downhill, even pinkerton which is the most overrated crap i ever heard





It wouldn't work, they'd just take the money like the whores they are





Rivers is a dbag nowadays





there are so many worse bands





Ratitude was pretty bad though





Baron, I think Rivers has always been a d bag. Weezer is still one of my favorite bands though.





it just became more notable in the 2000s



say it ain't soooooooooooooooooooooooo





what fool dug out this corpse?





hope it wasn't you because you weren't supposed to keep that shovel





CoolCalmJoe





Really...? Weezer...? Couldn't have picked like Nickelback or Blood On the Dance Floor, or Kanye West, or The Black Eyed Peas, or Miley Cyrus etcetecetectec





kanye had a good album





I thought this was new haha





something fucked up and put this on the front page. i didn't go thread surfing and land here by accident or anything. Figured it was on front page so it was recent news. but yea, i'm still a dummy.





"I have never been a fan of this band. I think that they are pretty much horrible, and always have been. Even in the early 90’s. But this isn’t about me. This is about the Weezer fans. They are our brothers and sisters, our friends, our lovers."



So he doesn't even have any emotional investment in the band's past sound. What do they owe him if he never supported them in the first place? I never liked most Weezer material either, but this guy is just a huge prick.





this is really old and turned out to be ruse so let it go people





wtf hahaha





$10 million?



Hell, I'd give them $20 million, the equivalent of four records by them





Think about it, they'll be millionaires if they retire! Damn!





Think about it, they'll be millionaires if they retire! Damn!





Think about it, they'll be millionaires if they retire! Damn!





I don't want to be a part of this world anymore.





Blue Album and Pinkerton are the only good stuff from this band. Everything else they have ever done sucks. So yeah, Weezer better make something good, otherwise they really should get their asses on the retirement chairs.





Fuck You, weezer has done terrible for past 13 years but one of these days there will be a good album, oh wait, its 2015 and theres EWBAITE, well, id totally do this for justing bieber and then take money for self





I'd just like to point out that someone went looking for Weezer-related news in 2015, saw this, then made a fanboy account specifically to reply here and tell someone else off for a comment made over a year ago, on an article five years old. Ahahahaha





Weezer and this thread need to go away.





oh..





Everything Will Be Alright In The End was dope to be fair





Damn, what a whiny bitch. Sounds like a prime Weezer fan.



Digging: Pain of Salvation - Panther

Add a Comment:

You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile











