A Florida teen got himself a brand-new gun and promptly fired a bullet through his penis and left testicle.

Michael Smeriglio, 18, had been cleaning the weapon — apparently while loaded. The weapon, not him. Although, he may have been loaded as well. Cops probed the scene of the gruesome schlong-shooting and found weed in the house. They busted Mike’s buddy, the homeowner, 22-year-old homeowner Joseph Lamar James.

Smeriglio was so embarrassed about the dumbass dong-mangling that he lied and said someone else shot him.

First rule of handling firearms: Aim the gun AWAY from your junk.

Via CBS.