I recently became friends with Charlie Sheen -- but not exactly. It's a little complicated. You see, I've spent the past three months moving up the Facebook social ladder, "friending" more and more important people every day.

My online social aspirations evolved shortly after publishing a piece in this newspaper supporting George W. Bush. My real-life friend Charlotte Wilcher told me that the president's nephew, Pierce Bush, had posted my article on his Facebook profile. Charlotte was a Georgetown alumnus who had a friend...