WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

As British Royal Family enthusiasts freak out about Prince Charles’ Covid-19 diagnosis, the UK press are frantically trying to figure out how to pin the blame on Meghan Markle.

The 71-year-old reportedly contracted the coronavirus yesterday and is currently receiving the best medical treatment one could possibly get.

However, while the Royal Family come to terms with how to handle it best, the tabloids at home and overseas here in Australia are desperately trying to further the narrative of ‘Meghan Markle the witch who put a spell on Harry and ruined the Royal Family.’

Very much proof that you can choose your friends but you can’t chose your family, Harry is currently residing over in Canada with Meghan who he decided to marry because he is a grown adult man who desired some form of autonomy and hated being a loser Royal.

Despite the fact that they are some thousands of kilometres away, it’s believed that the press are keen to attribute Charles contraction of the virus to Meghan, somehow.

“We’ll settle for everything, even if it’s just that she infected the Royal family with her poison, by not being from a noble British bloodline who’ve leeched of the public for countless generations,” explained one Fleet Street fuckhead who we couldn’t be bothered to get the name of.

“Ideally, we’d love to try and link a physical contact situation, but they don’t seem to care about the public and have just left, so I’m not sure how we’ll be able to do that.”

“Anyway, if we have to settle for how everything started going to shit as she turned up, then we can get photos of Harry looking really sad and make up some bullshit about she’s keeping him locked up under her spell.”

She then carried on about how the public lap this stuff up and she didn’t have a moral responsibility because this is what you buy into as a Royal etc etc etc.