content warning: misogyny, body-shaming, a rapey tweet at the end and general male shittiness throughout.

So there was this thing that didn’t quite go viral, this out-of-the-blue misogynistic rant from Mike Faverman, an alleged comedian, to some anonymous woman. She must have screencapped the conversation because, how could you not, but then the Internet got a hold of it in that Internet way it has. I don’t know how it all works honestly, but I highly encourage you to read the Huffpost article that I linked above. If you can’t be bothered though, or your mouse just stopped working, here’s what was said:

Mike Faverman: When am I taking you to dinner? Anonymous Woman: I’m sorry if [I] gave you the impression that I wanted to date you by becoming your FB friend… That wasn’t my intention. MF: It wasn’t I just wanted to see if you would like to have dinner.

So, nothing horrible so far, although the opening line does come off as pretty presumptuous in light of her reply, like he’s trying to be smooth and assertive and it just doesn’t work out for him. It’s both sad and indicative that she feels the need to apologize for not being into him, but if she was hoping to avoid, say, an out-of-the-blue misogynistic rant, than it definitely doesn’t work out for her either. Without any further reply or prompting, Faverman says… well. Some things:

You have to remember I met you. So I know you’re not out of my league in the least, please stop acting as if I wouldn’t have a chance. Although I do have a thing for big woman [sic]. I hope me asking you to dinner doesn’t give you any impression that you are more attractive than you think you are. You just seem like an easy target with potential low self esteem. I also know fat chicks give good blow jobs and are easy to push to the curb when you’re done with them. A plump chick with high self esteem is like a unicorn out here. It’s kinda refreshing and sad at the same time. You must be very lonely and you must cry often. It explains why you are cushy and bitter. When a nice guy asks you out sometime, try to be polite and cordial, being an angry cunt is not the way to go through life. You should be happy people are asking you out at all still, seeing in 5 years with that dumpy ass no one will give a shit. Best of luck, hope I didn’t give you the wrong impression that you were hot just because I asked you to dinner, PIG.

So suddenly, the dude just goes off the rails. Like, it’s so horrible. It’s almost… cartoonishly horrible, as if he were twirling mustaches while typing it out. There’s a considered quality about it, with proper punctuation and only one grammatical error in the entire rant. This is not some raving, drunk, 3 in the morning message.

So, that happened, as did a facebook thread where Faverman repeatedly apologized and requested forgiveness, opening with the line:

“I hope you understand that I made a mistake and I’m trying to rectify the situation. I know what I did was wrong and I’m trying to figure out the right way to let people know that I was wrong and I want to make this right.”

Which is not bad, all things considered, but it’s still pretty weak. And he gets called out on it straightaway:

It goes on and on like that for some time, but I did want to note that no such letter has yet appeared on any of his social media. At the time of the Huffpost article he’d deleted his twitter, but it’s back up and running now. I know, because he just liked my tweet:

But I’m getting ahead of myself. So far, we have a cut and dry scenario wherein a dude has been shitty, been outed for being shitty, and apologized for being shitty; claiming he is “a person(?) who made a mistake and is trying to rectify the situation.” Somewhere in all this a brave, internet hero made sure his Mom knew:

Then, on May 17th, on his reactivated twitter, another apology. But this one was… different somehow. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but we’d definitely turned a corner somewhere:

And then, at 5:33 PM, less than two hours later, the Mike Faverman apology tour officially comes to an end as he full-on declares war on “bitches”:

That war continues to this very day; quietly seething, yet completely ignored in the greater sea of Twitter and whatever it is we’re calling Real Life these days. Despite once brushing up against something resembling self-awareness:

Faverman has mostly held firm against the “losers” and the “haters”, which appear to number no more than a few dozen in total. It’s one man being shitty in a very small room, a troll who has convinced people to come to him. And a few do; they come, trade a few insults, and go. The only constant is Faverman himself, who seems convinced that he’s winning somehow, that he’s “crushing the bullies”, despite this weird 6-minute glitch where he told two people to go pet their cats, like that was some kind of loser thing to do.

Very strange. I went and petted mine just now, because why not? Cats are amazing.

And that’s pretty well where we stand, now. I’m still waiting for that apology letter to land and it never will; which is too bad, because it would have to be a masterpiece of an apology at this point. The lesson being, I suppose, don’t fuck with Mike Faverman’s family because he will instantly forget any remorse he was supposed to feel and revert back to the shitty person it appears that he always was.

The only person this guy appears to hate more than women in general is himself, and I’m not saying he’s not correct to do so. But what could have been a fantastic opportunity for a little self-reflection, a chance to challenge obvious and admitted anger issues and grow as a person, joining finally the civilized society we’re trying to have, has now been completely squandered.

Mike Faverman doesn’t know where the bottom is, but appears determined to find out.