We have terrible, terrible news.

The name Gary is about to become extinct. Fact.

No one is calling their kids Gary anymore. How many of your friends have had babies in the past five years? And how many of them introduced their son as “little baby Gary”? Exactly.

Everyone should know a Gazza. And a Bazza. And a Shazza. Because Australia, that’s why.

According to OurBabyNamer.com, Gary reached peak popularity in 1952 in the US, coming in at number nine on the baby names popularity list. There were 38,000 registered Garys (and 87 girls named Gary… Uh… pretty?). In 2013, only 400 Garys were welcomed.

It’s not good news for Gaz.

And why not name your little man Gary? Gary’s are great fun. Gary’s are reliable. Gary’s are short (well, in our minds) and have a twinkle in their eye. It’s an Irish baby name, from the old English ‘Garwig’, meaning a hard or bold spear. A spear! Who wouldn’t want to be named after a medieval weapon?

Just think of the famous Gary’s in history.

Gary Coleman – who can say, “what you talking about, Willis?” like no non-Gary can.

Gary Ablett Sr. and Jr. – footballing extraordinaires.

Gary Sweet – Aussie actor.

Gary Sinise – American actor.

Gary Glitter… let’s not talk about him.

SAVE THE GARY.

So let’s make a conscious effort. Let’s get a few baby Gary’s out this year, Australia. Gazzas. Gaz-dogs. And while we’re at it, what about Greg? And Sharon? And Barry? And Rodney? And Trevor?

Anyone?