"Oh my sweet Reddit darling!" I proclaimed as I first got a glance at my wondrous frozen meat treats. Thank you so much! My mouth salivates and my loins rage with delight when I ponder touching my lips to those marvelous marbled hunks of heaven. Such a gift is not even fit for a king! You are too kind!

And to boot, I got a sweet tee that describes my life as a single gent attempting to whoo the ladies:

D: Demonstrate value (Usually in the form of buying drink for the lady of the evening)

E: Engage Physically (Her throwing the drink in my face usually followed by an unpleasant strike to my crown jewels)

N: Nurture Dependence (Shes just playing hard to get. Lets buy her some more drinks)

N: Neglect Emotionally (They usually have no problem with this)

I: Inspire Hope (There's always a chance, right?)

S: Separate Entirely (M'fair lady whisks off into the night, giving me the one finger salute, to symbolize the one day we will meet again)

I'm doing this right, right?

Bonus: My name is actually Dennis!