Sonja Haller

USA Today

Friendships are difficult things for moms to maintain, west Texas mom of three Amy Weatherly told All the Moms, a branch of the USA Today Network.

But they're worth the effort. That's why she managed to squeeze some free time from her children – ages 6 to under 2 – to get together with a friend she loves and trusts.

When they greeted each other, the friend said, "I can’t believe I’m seeing you out in public with no makeup and tennis shoes. Who even are you anymore?”

It wouldn't have been so bad had Weatherly not been rolling around the exact thoughts in her own head.

"Not too long before, I cried to my husband. Maybe like a lot of women do. 'Oh my goodness this is my third day in leggings. I'm sorry, I'm not the same girl you married.' He said, 'You're not. You're better now.' "

A short time after meeting with her old friend, Weatherly composed a Facebook post that's garnered more than a thousand likes and is growing in popularity because she took her husband's words and expanded on them.

That was then...

Weatherly, 34, said in her post she used to pay a lot of attention to makeup and clothes.

"In a past life, in a galaxy far far away, I was the girl who only wore wedges and trendy tops. I was the girl who was never without makeup and big hair. I was the girl never without jewelry, and lip gloss, and loads of foundation. I had myself together. I was voted “girliest girl” and “most likely to wear heels” for crying out loud."

On this particular day, she was out with a messy bun and felt the weight of 10 extra pounds. She told her friend, "Yeah, something about that third baby really forced me to let myself go."

They chatted for a while longer, hugged and promised they would get together for lunch soon, but parted knowing they probably wouldn't.

This is now...

Weatherly said she kept thinking about her own words – “let myself go.”

Her heart screamed: "HECK TO THE NO. YOU HAVE NOT, GIRLFRIEND."

"I’m more confident now. I’m more sure of myself. I’m less likely to cry over a breakout, or miss out on a night with my girls because of dirty hair. I’m less likely to slip into a mild depression because someone decided they didn’t like me, or pile on the insecurity because I wasn’t invited to that party.

Here's how I really feel about being a working mom

Truth is, I kind of like myself now, definitely more than I did before. I wouldn’t go back to that girl with the good hair for all the skinny jeans and skinny lattes in the world."

'You haven't let yourself go'

As much to herself as to other women, Weatherly says to stop saying out loud or to ourselves, that we've let ourselves go. (Especially when there's a good chance that the fierceness, hustle and heart motherhood requires has, in fact, allowed some women to find themselves.)

"You haven’t let yourself go. Stop saying that. It’s rude. It’s derogatory and it’s downright absurd. You haven’t let yourself go, you have simply let go of the need to look perfect all of the time.

"You have simply let go of stuff that isn’t important and traded it in for stuff that will leave a lasting legacy. You have simply let go of stuff that will last a little while, for stuff that will last for generations and generations and generations."

Weatherly told All the Moms that pretty and beautiful are two different things. And she would rather be beautiful.

"Pretty is an outside thing. Beautiful is an inside thing. Beautiful is who and what you love and what you do."