What a magical, inspiring time for right-wing thought. On Friday morning, Fox & Friends welcomed “social media superstars and Fox Nation contributors” Diamond and Silk to discuss climate change and immigration, and if you’d rather just skip ahead to the part where you bang your head against your desk, I won’t blame you.

In case you don’t feel like losing five minutes of your one precious life to something that will make you noticeably more stupid, here’s the gist: Diamond and Silk got airtime on a national cable news network to make the claim that climate change is real, but it is to be expected because our planet is rotating very quickly, every single day of the year.

The climate is indeed changing, but, according to Diamond and Silk, it’s not due to the pollution we’re spewing into the sky. It’s not carbon or methane. It is, I guess, friction, and the purpose of the Green New Deal is to literally stop the Earth from turning, and reset it. This is a thing that was said on television this very morning, and your Dad watched it, and so did the president of the United States, and all of them echoed Silk’s assessment: “Mm-hmm.”

The hosts then turned their attention to Beto O’Rourke, who at a recent campaign event called President Trump out for painting Mexicans as “rapists” and asylum seekers as “animals.” Asked to respond to O’Rourke, Diamond said this, and I am not kidding: “When I listen to Beto O’Rourke, his rhetoric, it reminds me of a slave owner. Anytime you want to tear down existing walls, and allow poor people to flow into our country, and have them living in the shadows, working for slave wages, that makes you a slave owner.”

If you were wondering whether they mentioned our president, who continues to benefit from cheap, undocumented labor at his hotels and golf clubs, just kidding, you weren’t wondering that. “Beto O’Rourke need to look at himself,” said Diamond. “And his own rhetoric,” Silk chimed in. “Right. Is what he need to do,” Diamond concluded, over a chyron promising even more of this on Fox Nation, for just $5.99 a month.

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Fox News—really, cable news in general—is not the place for deep and nuanced thought, but “climate change is because the Earth is speeding” and “immigration reform is slavery” are both alarmingly stupid ideas. And once again, there is a one-hundred percent chance the president is watching and nodding along.

Pete Buttigieg, the mayor of South Bend, Indiana, is a Democratic presidential hopeful who was recently attacked by a conservative blog for suggesting Jesus would be cool with bestiality. Buttigieg, who's known as Mayor Pete, did not suggest this. The Washington Post Getty Images

All of this comes one day after cable-news pundit and, I don’t know, viking cosplayer Erick Erickson published a post on his blog The Resurgent about rising Democratic Presidential hopeful Mayor Pete Buttigieg. Mayor Pete is an observant Christian who supports a woman’s right to make her own reproductive decisions, and he recently called out the religious right for “saying so much about what Christ said so little about, and so little about what he said so much about.” Pretty much every other Democratic Presidential hopeful holds this view; all are pro-choice, nearly all claim to be Christian. So it is interesting that only the first-ever openly gay one gets to be the subject of this headline:

Mayor Pete Buttigieg Apparently Thinks Jesus Would Be Okay With Bestiality.

The claim itself is too ignorant to put any energy into rebutting, but it does bear pointing out to my right-wing gay grifters out there: this is what they think of you. Whether you try to fit into their definition of respectable or not, even if you go on Tucker Carlson and eat a Chick-Fil-A sandwich, when push comes to shove, you’re no better than a goat-fucker.

Is everything getting dumber, or are we just dizzy because the world is spinning so fast?

Dave Holmes Editor-at-Large Dave Holmes is Esquire's L.A.-based editor-at-large.

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