No. 1 — I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. So, I have decided to marry my German Shephard.

No. 2 — I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4 percent on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon at 15 percent isn’t.

No. 3 — I vote Democrat because I believe that the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn, than I would.

No. 4 — I vote Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as no one is offended by it.

No. 5 — I vote Democrat because I am way too irresponsible to own a gun and I know that my local police are all I need to protect my family from murderers and thieves. I also am thankful for the 911 service that gets the police to your house within fifteen minutes, just in time to identify your body after a home invasion. (Buckshot travels at 1,200 feet per second.)

No. 6 — I vote Democrat because I’m not concerned about the millions of babies butchered each year, but I am concerned with the comfort and well-being of inmates on death row.

No. 7 — I vote Democrat because I believe illegal aliens deserve Social Security payments and those that paid into it do not. I also believe they deserve free health care, housing and education at the taxpayers’ expense even though I pay through the nose for my own families.

No. 8 — I vote Democrat because I believe business should not be allowed to make a profit for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest to the Democrat government so they can redistribute as they see fit.

No. 9 — I vote Democrat so the liberal judges can rewrite the Constitution every few weeks so as to suit the kooks on the fringes who would never get their agendas past the voter.

No. 10 — The #1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it’s better to pay billions of dollars for oil from a people that hate us, and not drill in America because it might upset a beetle, gopher or fish. We just don’t worry about that in other countries.

Footnote: The best description of Obamacare so far: Remember when Nancy Pelosi said “We have to pass it, to find out what’s in it.”

Now to quote a doctor: “That’s the definition of a stool sample.”

“The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."

— Albert Einstein.

— ATCS James D. Brooks,

USN retired,

Madera