warning: physical decipline

Anna had been driving around for an hour, and she was becoming increasingly more desperate and frustrated. Her trembling was making it more difficult to control her driving. Every five minutes she would get out of the car and ask passing strangers and her neighbors if they had seen Olaf:

"Blond hair, teal eyes, a small round face, and about this high," she would say, her palm hovering around the side of her hip.

Nobody had seen him, and seeing how frantic Anna looked every time someone had said no, they pitied her. They would offer to call the cops, to try to see if they could find them, or look out if anybody had seen him, but those were empty promises. Though, as a courtesy, Anna handed them her number.

But it had already been an hour. Her phone was running out of batteries. Nobody had called her yet. She felt like time was running out. And after one last person said no, she got in her car in absolute defeat and devastation… staring emptily at the streets. Her body was tired, her mind spent, and she knew she shouldn't be giving up when it had only been an hour, but she didn't know what to do or where else to go. One answer… she just needed something.

She curled herself up, hands ruffling her hair, and she began rocking herself. Her heart felt like someone had not only stabbed it, but had burned it right after. She felt so goddamn lost. This was her son she was trying to find… her precious son, and yet, there was still no sign of him. I should've tried harder…

And with the thought of her son's smile disappearing, the thought of her son getting hurt and maybe worse, she started sobbing. Her hands gripped tightly on the steering wheel, head pressed against her white knuckles. She couldn't bear driving another round in the neighborhood, but she couldn't rest either. She shouldn't. Her heart began to race even more, and she let her fingers clench onto her chest. "Olaf… My baby…" she sobbed. It was a mere moment… the mere frustration just led her to punish herself for not being the mother that Olaf wanted. She banged her forehead against the steering wheel. Many times.

She needed to wake up. This wasn't a nightmare, this was real life, and her family was deteriorating once again. And, once again, Anna felt like her life… her once joyful life that she was having with Elsa… with Meg… was falling apart.

Anna had never felt like she did at that moment. As if the whole world was coming down on her, and everything just hurt. It was impossible to think… impossible to even force herself to think and feel positive.

Her body had grown numb, tingling, and all she wished was for this to pass fast so she could take care of finding her son. She would rarely get panic attacks, but so many thoughts were running through her head that she had to give up to the looming mental breakdown. So many things had happened throughout these past few weeks that she couldn't bear holding her breath one last time. And Elsa…

Oh, Elsa.

Poor Elsa, she thought, but there were no words to describe what she saw. As much as she wanted to forget about it, the haunting sight had left her scarred. She wondered if she had done this, she wondered if she had done wrong - to let her go… to be with somebody else. FUCK!

She pulled her hair out of frustration, and God… whatever had happened to her, Anna didn't want to imagine it. She refused to believe her beautiful wife had done this to herself. Anger filled her mind, and right now, she just wanted to drown herself in alcohol. But she had to be the shoulder of her family. Giving up right now was not an option.

She took a few minutes to pull herself together, and just when she was about to drive again her phone began vibrating.

She quickly answered it without checking who was calling. "H-Hello?!"

"Anna? Anna, what the hell is going on?"

She frowned, placing her hand on her forehead. "M-Meg? Oh, God, is Olaf with you?"

"Yes! He's with me in school. Anna, what's going on?!"

"Is he alright? Meg, I'm coming right now." She started moving onto the highway as fast as she could. It was going to take at least half an hour to get to school.

"He's fine, but you're going to really tell me what's going on when you get here. God, my heart is pounding, Anna -"

And just as Anna was about to respond her call dropped due to the lack of battery on her phone. Out of sheer frustration, Anna flung her phone against the car door. "God damn it!"

That frustration… was finally directed at Olaf this time.

She arrived exactly twenty minutes later, her legs climbing the stairs as fast as she could. The evening had gotten quite late now. Many thoughts and questions swirled around in her head, and many of them she couldn't even answer. What was she feeling? Well… she couldn't even describe how angry she was. How… relieved she felt, knowing that Olaf was with someone she trusted. But she knew, she couldn't let this go easily.

Anna's eyes were filled with fire, and even though Olaf had never been punished, and even though Anna had never punished her boy, well, it was about time now.

She slowed herself when she came into the dark hallway, the main office of the school lit up… and she could hear laughter. The laughter of a child. Taking a few silent steps around the corner, her child came to view. In the dark, she stared at the two people laughing in the office… and it was something that Anna couldn't stand seeing.

She was a mother… but she also had her own feelings. Her own responsibility for Olaf. She was glad to see him laughing. She was furious with the fact that he was laughing. This was a serious situation, of course.

Meg was sitting on the bench with Olaf on her lap, her arms wrapped around the boy. "Mm, you know, has Mama ever took you on a vacation?"

Olaf shook his head. "No, heh, not at all."

"Well, would you like to be on a vacation? We can go to Norway… see all the beautiful snow. You like purple, don't you?"

"Purple, yeah."

"I think I'll have to buy you a purple jacket when we go to Norway. Do you think Mama would like that? I think I'd like it very much."

The boy looked up at her, giggling again. "Yesss, vacation is good!"

That's enough.

"Olaf, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" Anna immediately stomped in, and the two people barely had time to react when the frantic redhead grabbed the boy by his arm and pulled him away from Meg. She didn't care if Meg was trying to pull her away or even try to talk to her. Her emotions were getting the better of her.

She felt fingers quickly grasping her arms. "Anna - Anna, calm down -"

"When have you become such a bad boy? Huh?! Do you know how long I have been searching for you?! Get over here. RIGHT NOW!"

Anna was still yelling when Olaf started to cry, and Meg tried to tell her to stop as calmly as she could. Calmness? I can't stay fucking calm. She pulled the boy onto the bench, lifting his torso on her lap so he was laying on his tummy.

"M-Mama! Mama, stop! I'm sorry!"

"Sorry isn't going to do! Why did you run?!"

"Mama, please!"

Anna didn't want to listen. She spanked the boy's rear, hard… but light enough that Olaf wasn't going to be hurt too badly. His cries grew louder, his body flailing, but he never planned to escape. She did it again. Three more times. Five more.

She had never hit her boy before. Never ever wanted to. But this was discipline. If he wasn't going to get a spank, he was never going to learn.

Crystal tears, filled with anger and worry, started streaming down her reddened cheeks, but all Anna could cry out was the question 'why'. Crying? She didn't have time to cry… didn't have the heart to give in so easily to the heartbreak, but the thought of disciplining her son like this for the first time was making her hesitant. Her spanking began to soften, and she realized, none of this was her son's fault. It was her own. If only I knew how he felt. "Why the hell did you run…? Where did I go wrong…?"

"That's enough, Anna!" Her lover quickly grabbed Olaf from Anna, making sure he was standing right behind her. Her other hand held onto Anna's wrist to make sure she wasn't hitting her son again.

The redhead just sat there, eyes staring blankly on the floor… and her spread fingers slowly turned into a fist, shaking… trembling. And while she tried her best to pull away from Meg's grip, she didn't try hard enough to. In the background, Olaf was still crying, clinging onto his teacher. Anna felt apologetic. To herself, to Meg… to her son. In the blink of an eye, she had been overcome with emotions, and she was so blind that she couldn't control her thoughts. Her actions.

She let out a staggering sigh, placing a hand over her tired eyes… and the hand that held her wrist slowly lowered to caress her back.

"Olaf, honey… why don't you tell Mama why you ran?"

Olaf shook his head. "N-No -"

"Olaf, you better god damn tell me, or else!" Anna glared at the boy. He immediately hid himself behind her girlfriend once again. She still had the energy to yell at him, but with Meg between them… and with Meg here in general, she had to hold back. Olaf was crying so much already anyway. Oh, please, just stop, Anna.

"Anna, I know you're angry. Just… calm down," Meg started, letting out a breath, "I understand Olaf needs to be disciplined, but at least try to listen."

"You don't -"

"Anna. Stop."

Anna wasn't sure what had become of her. She was acting like an animal. She was always rational about her son, but… this situation was just out of control. Out of her hands. These were just excuses though. At the very least, she could listen to Meg, and the very least… perhaps, his explanation would make Anna feel better? But how? He fucking ran away. Period.

But she was an adult. She was a parent. Sure, she was furious about what her boy did, but she couldn't stay mad for long. She shouldn't.

Anna gazed up at Meg, who had the softest smile, her thumbs wiping her tears away. Olaf was still softly sniffling away his tears, and at this point, Anna knew she was wrong to think so irrationally like this.

Slowly, Anna got on her knees. And her smile… God, she could hardly call it a smile. "Honey…" she murmured, and it was then that Olaf eyed her mother with such guilt, his lips pouting, fingers wringing together anxiously against his chest. She didn't need to urge the boy to come to her when he emerged. Slowly. No matter how scared he, he knew… this was his Mama. And Mama would never hate him.

And it was then that Anna genuinely smiled, but it was the most apologetic expression she could ever give him. When the boy stood in front of her his eyebrows furrowed in guilt… Anna just ran her hands over his body. "Are you hurt, honey?"

Olaf shook his head.

"Will you tell me why you ran?"

The boy turned to Meg silently, who ran her fingers through his light hair.

"Go on, tell Mama. She won't be mad at you."

Anna would be damned to hell if her son had grown afraid of her. She couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't. All she could do was blame herself… even if it was just the heat of the moment. She thought Olaf would tell her everything if he was punished. And now, she realized… punishment was never the answer.

She pleaded with her eyes in silence, staring at her boy, and when Olaf finally turned…

It was this small pout that he had that made Anna pity him. She wasn't sure what was on his mind, but every time she'd see that pout, she knew Olaf had to be thinking about his mothers. Anna held back from hugging him, waiting. Listening. Meg already seemed to know what he was going to say.

The boy gazed down at his feet, playing with his fingers. "I-It's just… Mama, I was angry…"

Anna stretched out an understanding smile. "Why were you angry?"

"Mom… Mom didn't come out to say bye to you…"

Is that it? And I disciplined him for that? Anna sighed, looking away in disbelief. "Olaf… is that really it? Did you really have to run -"

"Anna, just listen. He's not done talking," Meg interrupted, and her face… Anna had never seen that face before - filled with such regret, such shame and anger… Anna wasn't sure what to make of it. And if Anna knew one bit of what Meg was thinking right now, she would ask, but her priority right now was bring her son home.

She nodded, urging Olaf to continue in silence.

"M-Mama… Mom is hurt. A-And you two aren't together. I thought Mama and Mom don't want me anymore… so I ran. I-I wanted someone to help Mom." He paused, sniffling. "I-I ran because I need Mama and Mom together, a-and because I know Mama would always find me, so I kept running. A-And I know Mom would always need you too..."

Anna wasn't sure what to say. Her son… should never have to run because his parents couldn't help themselves. Her son should never have had to cry for help. Listening to all this made Anna realize how dysfunctional they were together as a family. The tears that slid down Anna's cheeks could not help her baby. The pitiful weeping… how she grasped and held her boy was not going to do the situation any justice.

But Anna couldn't help it. She wept like a child, her head against her child's chest, and all she could hear was the soft pounding of Olaf's heart. But she was glad. At least… he was safe.

She couldn't let him go, holding him tightly like her life depended on it. There were so many things that Anna wanted to say, and through her scrambling mind… all she could say was, 'I'm sorry'.

If only I was a better mother… If only I had the courage to understand what my son is going through...

Everything happened so fast. One moment, she cried on Olaf's shoulder. The next moment, she had to push herself away from Meg with her mind quickly occupied with Elsa. And then, finally, with Olaf in her arms… she had driven back home.

She hated herself. She hated her life. She hated the fact that the person that she cared so much about, she had to push away. She didn't want to drag Meg into this. As much as she knew Meg wanted to help… they said it before, they weren't a family. It was hard, and it was going to be even harder with her involved.

She would always hear Meg telling her how they could both open up to each other as much they should, as long as they should… but all Anna could feel was being more shut out from her lover. She needed to shut her out. Getting Meg involved with this type of drama was never a good idea. It was messy. It was always messy, but this was just one of those moments that Anna would hate to see Meg get heartbroken because she was feeling stressed out and depressed.

When Anna needed the support the most, Anna had to pick herself up to support her own family. Only then would Anna would feel satisfied.

In a blink of an eye, through the silence, Anna had driven into the house's garage front. Olaf had laid in the passenger seat for a nap the entire time, leaving Anna to think. Leaving Anna in her own emotions to drown in… leaving herself to be angry with herself.

And she had come home with her son in silence, knowing that everyone had much to discuss. Where do I even start?

Without disturbing Olaf from his nap, she carried him in her arms. She didn't need to take another step into the house when she unlocked it to find Elsa - the poor woman - running down the stairs.

"Anna! A-Anna, my baby!"

The redhead was awfully tired. When she felt arms embracing her… lips on her cheek, Anna just wanted to drown in it. She was awfully silent too as she watched her hurt ex-wife take Olaf away from her. She was surprised Elsa even had the energy to carry him after… after seeing those wounds. Anna couldn't take her eyes off her, silently watching her wife cry in thanks and relief.

She hadn't seen Elsa cry this much, hadn't seen Elsa scrambling for words.

Olaf had slowly stirred awake soon after. "M-Mom…?" He rubbed his fingers against his eyes.

Elsa chuckled wetly, fingers running through his messy hair, lips pecking many warm kisses on him. "Oh God, honey… are you alright? What happened? Why did you run?"

Anna went to lock the door as the questions continued to overwhelm their son.

For a moment, Olaf didn't answer, looking between the two women. He smiled, almost giggling… and it was just one of the oddest things Anna could ever imagine in a situation like this. "Mom and Mama are back together again…" He wrapped his arms around his mother, nuzzling his head on the nook of Elsa's shoulder.

Anna simply had no words. With her tired eyes, her skin feeling incredibly hot and sweaty, she leaned against the couch and continued to watched them. She didn't pay attention to the way Elsa looked at her in such astonishment and confusion. Rather… her wounds…

The redhead didn't want to say anything. Her heart, as much as she had been feeling red hot anger, was empty. Perhaps, all these emotions that she had been feeling that day had finally completely drained away. She had no energy to cry, no energy to talk… all she wanted was a couple of drinks and to be back in Meg's arms.

"Anna…"

Anna blinked. Her two loved ones were still on the floor, Elsa still comforting her boy. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Silence. Thank you? What is there to thank me for? He ran because of us. Anna didn't have the heart to tell her that though.

Slowly, she walked into the kitchen and examined the fridge. "Take Olaf to bed. I'll make food for us."

"Anna -"

"Don't." She raised her hand to stop her from talking. Hearing her talk churned her stomach so much that she couldn't even take another look at Elsa. She had had enough of the sight of her abused face and body. She was trying her best to hold herself up and stay strong, but if that woman said another goddamn word she was going to freak out. A breath in… and a breath out. "We can talk about this later. Just… go upstairs. Get some rest. I will cook."

"You don't have to do this, Anna -"

"Just let me -" She slammed her fist on the counter, gritting her teeth. She didn't need Elsa to explain things to her right now. What she needed was to catch her breath. "Just let me be alone and let me think. We'll talk later." Careful not to show the anger and sadness in her eyes, she smiled at Elsa. "Please. I'm okay. I promise."

And for a few moments, as Elsa tried to think of a reply, Anna saw her nod. "Alright. Thank you. For everything."

Anna didn't answer her back. When she heard footsteps climbing up the stairs and Olaf's door opening and shutting… Anna simply let out a sigh. It wasn't just out of relief. It was the fact that she could have time to herself because she knew that she couldn't stand making eye contact with anyone right now. But she had to get her shit together.

She'd cook Elsa and Olaf a simple meal that they could eat in bed, and they could call it a day. An exhausting day, for sure.

As she took out some ingredients from the fridge, her phone vibrated with a text. Meg. She didn't even want to open it, but after seeing the first few words through her lock screen she reconsidered. She needed to feel better. And if Meg texting her would make her feel extraordinarily better, then so be it.

Oh, Meg would do that alright. She said herself… she would always be the one to pick Anna back up no matter how rough things were. No matter how humiliating it was for Meg to take care of someone that already had a family. Anna… was a thousand times thankful for that woman, and if she was ever deserving of her… well, Meg was stupid for falling in love with her.

"Hey, love. I'm home right now. Tired. I'm sorry we didn't get to talk… after that whole fiasco. I would've told you, but I know Olaf wanted to say it to your face. I hope Olaf is doing alright. Elsa too. It must be a tiring day for you. Get some rest soon. Take care of Olaf and Elsa. I miss you. And just… when you're home, I'll be here waiting with my arms open just for you. I love you. Good night, Anna."

But no matter how many times she had read this over and over again, she didn't feel any better. She just wanted to be with Meg, to talk about her poor disastrous life while letting Meg shower her with all the affection and warmth that Anna craved for. She craved a warm evening, just sitting on the couch with the TV on in the background, cuddling, kissing…

But right now, she felt like someone had just punched her in the face.

It was no use brooding over anything, or yearning to have her normal life back when her family was like this.

Elsa was in her room as she made her way upstairs with a hot bowl of chicken noodle soup with a slice of rye bread.

She didn't say anything as she entered. Didn't even knock. Elsa had sat in bed, blanket covering her body. But just a glimpse… just a single glimpse of her made Anna think that her wife was dead. The shine that Elsa used to have… was gone. Their eyes met, and even when they had met, Anna never felt so much dread in her heart. Still, Anna didn't say anything as she grabbed a chair and sat right beside Elsa.

"Here." She placed the hot bowl on the bedside counter. Her eyes… she couldn't tear them away from those bruises. Perhaps, it was time. She watched her wife eat, watched her fingers tremble, and all Anna could see was a weak woman. Terribly weak. Sick, even. But she knew Elsa was strong and had endured so much.

Anna gazed down at her hands, clasping them together. "The bruise I saw before, a few weeks back… what you told me… was that a lie?" She turned back at her, her expression stern.

Elsa contemplated for a moment. "Yes."

I can't bear this. Anna quickly looked away, a hand on her forehead. She was afraid of asking that one question she knew she couldn't avoid asking. Her lips spread open and it closed so many times that all Anna could let out was a whimper. Deep breaths… "W-Were you ever going to tell me what really happened?"

Elsa shook her head, gazing down. "I couldn't risk it."

She squinted. "What… What do you mean… you couldn't risk it?"

"Anna, you don't want to hear it -"

"No, I don't. Because I cannot fucking imagine… or even begin to understand how you look like this." Anna gritted her teeth, her jaw trembling as she tried her very best not to weep again. "How could you not tell me…? Am I just someone that you don't trust anymore…?"

"Anna -"

"Tell me, Elsa."

"You won't like it -"

"JUST FUCKING TELL ME!" she screamed. The burst of anger quickly made Elsa flinch, eyes widening in fear, and it was just enough to make Anna see how scared Elsa was. The one thing she knew Elsa would never feel… had shown. And the sight of that made her realize one thing. She didn't do this to herself.

The way Elsa just shook her head, her hand placed against her forehead… the way Elsa just cried…

Anna didn't mean it. Anna didn't mean to cause her such distress and fright. But she knew both of them, at this rate, anxiety level was high between them that they couldn't possibly stay calm. And while Anna wholeheartedly felt sorry, Elsa simply just cried, her hand reaching out for Anna's… and the redhead just couldn't miss the chance to give her what she wanted. The way Elsa held her after being yelled at, Anna didn't understand, but she understood they needed to be each other's rock. "I'm sorry, I…" She held it. Caressed it. Kissed it.

"Anna… he beat me."

Four words. All it took was just four words, and Anna's mind, face, body… everything just froze in place. Her widened eyes continued to shed tears as she stared at Elsa, her hands began trembling even more.

"Why?" Anna asked with the most gentle voice as she could possibly utter. "Why did he beat you…?"

Elsa picked her head up, looking straight at her. "He was jealous of you… he was jealous about the fact that I paid too much attention to you. I… Anna, I should never have - I should never have trusted him. All this time… I wanted something great from the wrong person because I didn't want you. I was stupid, I was so stupid."

The fact that Elsa had admitted that she was wrong didn't provide Anna a bit of relief or a sense of pride. Easily, what could have come out of her mouth was, "I told you so", but she couldn't say it. She only felt sorry for Elsa.

She had herself to blame. She should have been there… she should have taken the chance to go back home immediately when she could when she realized something was fishy, but she didn't. All Anna did was wallow in her own misery with Meg while her own wife had to suffer on her own. And perhaps… she had even taken comfort in the fact that Meg was in her arms. Perhaps, she had taken comfort in the fact that she had shown Elsa that someone else could love her just as much as she did, and she had busied herself with that so much that she hadn't noticed her wife calling for help. Oh, how pathetic. I am pathetic.

Anna barely let out a cry as her tears continued to trickle down. The fingers that held on hers grew tighter, and Anna just let it happen. Slowly, she leaned in, her free hand caressing Elsa's cheek. She shook her head out of misery, out of guilt… but nothing was going to save her from the horror that Elsa had faced.

"I'm so sorry…" Anna muttered, and she lowered her head, pressing Elsa's hand against it. The shaking and trembling of Elsa's fingers on her forehead felt like a knife had gone through her heart. The last time she had felt Elsa tremble was during their wedding, but this? She wondered if she wanted to feel this again because she was drowning in pain for Elsa.

And, finally, with her face completely down, she cried freely. "I'm so fucking sorry…" she kept repeating, and when Elsa stayed silent… she knew there was so much more that he had done. She didn't even want to know anymore. But she had to ask. She needed to. Or else, for the rest of the week, she wouldn't be able to sleep soundly.

And gazing back up, she could just see how much Elsa had suffered in her eyes. All these years together, and this was the first time she had seen such drained expression. She even looked much older. At twenty nine years old, going thirty… her poor wife should not look like this. She should've been pampered… she should've been smiling, her eyes should have shined. But this was what Anna got? The guilt in her heart weighed heavily on her, and the moment Elsa had opened her mouth again to speak… she had almost lost her will to live.

The clock ticked in the silence that was Elsa's room. Her wife had fallen asleep in her arms for a while crying… and Anna was the one who put her back to bed. The sun was finally rising, the birds were chirping. Everyone was getting ready for the day… and Anna had stayed by her and Olaf's side all night long. Awake. She didn't get even a blink of sleep. She didn't need it. She needed Elsa to be safe.

She wasn't safe. Not at all.

The things Elsa had told her, the things that made her weep like a child… she had let it all out to Anna. "He touched her…" Anna mouthed, eyes staring into the sunlight. "He did this… he did this…" Oh, God.

Anna was going to go crazy. If not, she must have already been crazy. She regretted having to hear all of this. She regretted even asking for more… because it had destroyed both of them. Anna, especially.

Guilty and angered tears continued to weep down Anna's cheek, and even though Elsa was asleep, safe and sound, finally back in her arms, all the pain that Elsa was feeling had transferred right to Anna. It was okay. She could burden this pain. However long she had to carry it. However much Elsa still had, she could take.

Truthfully, Anna felt weak. Her mind kept swirling with 'what ifs'... because if she had stayed with Elsa, none of this would have mattered. Olaf wouldn't have run. And that bastard… that bastard would have been long gone.

Slowly, she turned to eye Elsa's preciously peaceful, but injured face. The days that Anna was gone, Elsa must have not slept a single bit. He did this… and Elsa, in fear, still had to tend to him like a lowly slave. Anna didn't even want to believe for a second back then that he would do horrible things to her wife. They were always so close… so together that Anna was completely blinded by just the two of them simply being together. It looked nice where she stood from the side. They looked… in love.

But that wasn't love at all. Elsa had been screwed over by this fucking animal.

The woman growled, prompting Elsa to shift away, her eyes fluttering open. Elsa had always been quite a light sleeper.

"Anna…?" Slowly, she sat up. "Anna, have you not slept? Why have you just been sitting there all this time?"

Still no words.

"Are you not going to talk to me?"

She looked away. "I just… I'm angry."

The woman sighed. "I know. Please… I want you to think rationally. Ignore the bad thoughts you have. I care for you, and I know you have a lot to say. Anna, look at me -"

Before Elsa could go even further, they heard a loud bang from the first floor. The woman turned in horror to the bedroom door the moment she could hear heavy footsteps stomping into the house. "ELSA?! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

"Oh God… Anna -" She paused, and they met eye to eye. Anna was still as silent as ever, and even her wife didn't need the woman to say anything to realize what she wanted to do.

The tightening of Anna's jaw… how her own fingers tightened into fists, how her cheeks reddened with fire. The chair screeched back just a moment, and Elsa had already grabbed her tightly around the torso, another caressing her cheek. She stared sternly right into Anna's eyes. "No, don't you dare, Anna."

"BABE, YOU THINK I TOOK OLAF?! YOU BITCH!"

Speaking of the devil, Elsa watched as the door opened, her boy running right into her mother's arms. "M-Mom! H-He's here!" Olaf screeched in fear, and Elsa had immediately wrapped her arm around him as well.

"I know, I know. I'm here sweetheart…" She tilted Anna's head towards her. "Anna, listen to me. Do not go out there. I forbid you."

Why should I listen to this? Anna immediately grabbed Elsa's wrist and pulled it away, and just as Elsa had called her name once more, she had gotten up from her seat and swung the door open.

"Anna! Olaf, get back into your room. NOW!"

"HANS, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" the redhead yelled, her feet quickly striding down the stairs, and it was only when Anna had gotten to the bottom steps that she had caught his attention. Before he could even answer back Anna had grabbed Han's collar, and her closed fist swung right into his face. "I'm going to fucking kill you…"

She didn't expect to see such a pathetic face… such horror in his expression after the first punch. And never imagined her mind would be clouded with thoughts of humiliating him… just like how he humiliated her…

Before Hans could say a single word Anna had thrown multiple punches at him already. "You fucked with my wife… I'll fucking kill you," she growled, and the moment she heard his first whimper… saw how Hans held his arms against his face, she grew even more furious. Did she like hitting him? Honestly… yes. She wanted this man to suffer the way Elsa did. She wanted him to be on the ground like the dog that he was… and all Anna could think about was how Elsa would whimper just like he was doing now.

"Y-You bitch!" Hans coughed out, and just as Anna was about to punch his face he had grabbed the hand that was about to land another blow. Anna didn't have time to react, and by the time she could her cheek began to sting as a fast fist met with her face. For a moment, she didn't react, staring at the ground. The blood… she could taste the blood, could hear Elsa climbing down the stairs.

"Anna!" she heard the woman cry, but she didn't give a single fuck anymore.

Anna was born in a household where everyone was open-minded… but she could never ever take a single person hitting others without reason. I'm going to kill him… and that thought kept running through her mind over and over again. It was almost like she didn't have control over her own body, and as much as she could feel the pain on her cheek, her hands continued to move automatically. She grabbed the man's neck with her ten fingers, pushing him back against the wall. And squeezed. Hard.

Adrenaline rushed through her like waves, and when she said she was going to kill him… oh, she stood by what she said. She needed this, not just for herself, but for her family. "You… You bastard…"

Hans' eyes were bulging. His face turning red, his veins began to emerge from his forehead to more he struggled to breathe. His arms flailed. And all he could let out was gurgles.

Anna was true to her words. She didn't want to let that motherfucker live… didn't want him touching her wife ever again. Tears began seeping through the corner of her eyes. Her mind was filled with images of Hans touching her when she didn't want it… hitting her when she had done something he didn't like. Even hitting her whenever he pleased. That motherfucker…

Elsa's arms quickly wrapped around her waist to try to pull her back. "Anna, stop -"

"You hit… my fucking wife…" she whimpered. Her fingers squeezed even more. Harder. His arms flailed more against the wall. "My precious… my sweetheart… and you fucking broke her heart."

"Anna. Anna, look at me." After many failed attempts to pull Anna free from him, Elsa had gotten in the middle, her hands on Anna's cheeks. Thumbs began to wipe away those tears, but they couldn't get rid of this heartache… this anger she was feeling. "I'm safe. I'm safe here. I know you. Think of me, Anna… you know you don't want to do this -"

"YOU FUCKING RAPED MY WIFE!" My whole world… my life…

"Anna! Let him go! Look at me! Look at me, darling…" And it was only then, she seemed to have snapped out of it. Her warmth… the way Elsa had turned and wrapped her arms around her waist and leaned her head against Anna's nape of her neck. Tears continued to coat her eyes, her lips… she couldn't stop herself from weeping. Elsa didn't have to say anything, but just hearing the woman cry with her… she knew she had to stop. This wasn't right. As much as Anna wanted to kill him - and it didn't matter to her if she would have to go away for a long time - her child and wife still needed her. This had to be enough. They were safe. They were home. "Let him go… I don't want you hurting anyone. I know you're hurt… you're angry, and he deserves nothing but pain, but I know you, Anna. Your kind heart, your beautiful soul… and if you do this, you will never be able to rest. But I'm here, Anna… Olaf is here. Don't be the person that he is. I'm begging you."

Anna didn't want to listen. She tried so hard to not listen. And she didn't feel any better, even knowing Elsa was safe in her arms, yet… her fingers loosened. In her heart, she knew what was right for everyone, and that meant he had to be let go. If she knew what was right for everyone, she wouldn't lose Elsa again.

And just like that, with one last punch to his face - her knuckles bruised and blistered with hurt already - she kicked him out to the door. And like a dog, coughing and gasping for air… he just scrambled to the entrance. No, he was much worse than a dog. "I better not see your fucking face here. Ever. Again."

Hans merely sent her a threatening glance as he placed a hand around his neck… and while he still had seemed to have such great energy to send her that look, the way he scrambled to walk out was almost too satisfying for Anna. She wouldn't forget his face. She wouldn't be able to forget the way he pathetically scrambled out of the house, how his face was screwed up by her own hands. She wanted him to remember… this was his final time entering this house and if he even dared to come back again, Anna wouldn't hesitate to do what she was willing to do.

But out of anger and the adrenaline rush, Anna almost ran out once again, only to be held back by tight arms around her waist. "LET ME GO!" she growled.

"Anna, stop! It's okay! Everything's okay!" Elsa leaned herself right against Anna's back and pushed her against the wall, placing her hand on top of Anna's chest. Her other hand scrambled to close the door so Anna wouldn't be able to get out fast enough. "You're okay… you're okay… shh…"

Anna could feel it - how her wife was breathing on her, how she shushed her with soft whispers… how those hands began to soothe her back, and it was just another reminder of how Elsa would heal and soothe her during those bad times. Anna couldn't take it anymore. She didn't have the strength to talk, to listen… but her wife was here. Her wife was trying to make her feel her very best again.

She eyed the door, still making an effort to tug away from Elsa… and when they finally separated, Anna just felt her whole world shatter ten times over.

Slowly, Anna simply dropped onto her knees, pressing herself up against the wall, and her own trembling arms hugged herself tightly. Her whole body, mind, and soul ached. She wondered if she had done well. She wondered if they really were safe. Her knuckles hurt and bled, her cheek throbbed terribly from the punch… but nothing hurt more than to be reminded of what Elsa had told her. It haunted her. It killed her to know that Elsa had been in such pain, but still could turn a blind eye to what happened.

These last few hours… had been the most stressful hour ever, and it seemed like God was testing her loyalty to her family.

Those words… just kept repeating in her mind, destroying her… and even though she knew her wife had knelt right in front of her, trying to soothe her away from this pain, Anna… couldn't take it anymore.

Her blank eyes, almost crazed from the stress, completely broke down with streaming tears. Her body trembled as she wept loudly, her arms and hands, not knowing where to go or what to do, hugged her own legs to herself and she had placed her head right into her gap between her knees and body. Slowly, she began rocking herself, but there was no comfort in knowing that he was gone, and that Elsa was doing her best to keep her away from him. She needed to be alone. She needed to think.

But she just couldn't. I blame myself… I blame myself… it's all my fault.

And as if Elsa had read her mind, "Shh, it's okay, it's okay… nobody is out to get you, Anna. Nobody blames you…"

She felt Elsa's chest against her head as the woman hugged her, hands running through Anna's hair… and she knew that voice wasn't just from her mind. It was Elsa's. Oh, that comforting sound of hers… the warmth that Elsa had given her. The way those arms willingly hugged her this tightly - and even herself willingly sitting on the floor beside Anna - was exactly what she needed. And Elsa just let them sway, words continuing to fall into Anna's ears like music.

All the redhead could do was wrap her fingers around Elsa's arm, gripping it tightly. She never wanted to let go. She wanted her to stay. She wanted that woman to always comfort her through difficult times, and Anna could do the same.

"He won't hurt us again… I'm so proud of you, Anna… I'm so proud of you. You're such a brave girl, such a beautiful girl… I'm here. I won't leave you. I'm safe in your arms and you're safe in mine. I've got you, sweetheart…"

For an hour, they stayed sitting on the floor. Anna had slowly calmed her breakdown, and it took an awful lot of pampering and Elsa talking to her constantly to do that. No… it wasn't until her divorce that she had started having these… feelings. No self-worth, anxiety, depression, mental and emotional stress… had hit her all at once, and for these past few hours, it had hit her hard.

But she was lucky. Elsa was here, and while Anna had no expectations of her, Elsa had taken care of her.

Hand in hand, Elsa had brought her to the couch to tend to her wounds. Anna still wasn't able to talk to her, but that's alright. The silence… it was what she needed most after everything.

Still, though, her eyes were glued to Elsa, who was busy wiping the blood of off Anna's broken lip. A soft ball of cotton with alcohol pressed gently on her skin, and Anna had barely winced. Up close… even if Elsa had been hurt as well, she was as beautiful as ever. She just couldn't possibly admit it.

"Sorry if it's stinging you," Elsa whispered, her eyes paying most attention to the wound. "It'll leave a bruise on you for a few weeks… God, I'm so sorry, Anna…"

Anna simply stared at her, and after a moment of not answering, well… Elsa simply didn't really care. She placed a small bandage on the cut of her lip and started tending to the broken skin of her knuckles.

For the first time, and it almost seemed like forever, she noticed Elsa smiling. A genuine smile actually. A chuckle even.

Elsa had run the pad of her fingers against Anna's, her other hand gently dabbing a cotton ball on her knuckles. "I know your punches can be rough… but to be this rough to break your skin? I think you should get back to the gym soon."

At that, Anna managed to force a smile, which Elsa had caught on.

"You're smiling. Am I glad to see that."

"You are too," Anna replied, and their fingers gently entwined, eyes silently wandering at each other. Oh, the calmness… can't I have just a moment of peace? Just like this with just her… "Thank you," Anna whispered.

"For what?"

"For being honest with me." Anna smiled, her hand slowly tightening around Elsa's. She watched as the blonde slowly turned her body towards her, eyes looking away. She knew this was something hard to express through words. But Anna was patient. She had been patient… for a year without Elsa, what was another minute? "And… for not letting me do something that I might regret."

Elsa shook her head. "I couldn't tell you at first. It was humiliating. I couldn't bear that thought of him hurting you. I needed you. I had to protect you and Olaf, so I did whatever he wanted."

"I know." She sighed. "Thank you for telling me."

"What happened back there… was that a repeating occurrence? Tell me honestly." Elsa stared at her sternly, her fingers stopped moving. Something about seeing that… seemed so caring. Scary.

But repeating? Who knows. Anna didn't know if she should say. But this was her wife… and she knew Elsa cared. She nodded. "Yeah."

"When was the last time before this?"

Fuck. Anna took a deep staggering breath, eyes wandering anxiously. "When Olaf… was missing. I was trying to find him. Got frustrated. Hit myself a couple of times…"

"Anna…"

"The other time was with Meg. The… I-I don't know. We talked about you. And things just got… bad. Wasn't as bad as today. I… I didn't do anything. I just broke down. I couldn't handle it."

"Anna, do you need a therapist?"

A therapist? Anna shook her head immediately, chuckling nervously. "N-No. I… It's fine. It's… nothing I can't handle."

"You hurt yourself." Elsa breathed out, squinting, and she ran her fingers back through Anna's messy fringes. A slight bruise smack dab on her forehead was more than visible. "Anna, God, look what happened."

"I-It's fine -"

"All because of me…" Elsa sighed, her hand caressing Anna's cheek, and she could just feel it. The warmth. The thousands of apologies that Elsa wanted to make. Yes, Anna did it for her, but it didn't matter if it could just hold her family together. She didn't, couldn't think about herself, and if she needed to suffer just to hold her wife and child again, she'd do it a thousand times.

Her teal eyes glazed with unshed tears, watching as Elsa played with her fingers… their foreheads touching each other. She missed this. They missed this. "I'm so sorry." And, finally, their eyes met.

The love… the gentle expression… that feeling of being first in love was all coming back when she stared into those ocean blue eyes. They were hurt, but, at least, they were hurt together. I missed that.

"Anna… Anna, I was wrong." Elsa opened her mouth, only to close it. Multiple times. And only when Anna squeezed her hand back, the blonde smiled, and it was such a painful smile. Perhaps, she really knows she did wrong. "I don't deserve you. I treated you like nothing but… shit, and you did all this. I forgot what it was like to be so in love, and you made me realize why I fell in love with you in the first place. Anna, I could never repay you. But for once…"

What is this?

"For once… give me one more chance. Just one. We could be like that again."

Do I want this?

Anna could barely stretch a smile for her. Her heart never beat so fast before, and just simply looking into Elsa's eyes, she knew those words held so much meaning. So much trust. Trust that Elsa wanted from Anna. Undoubtedly, she would give Elsa the whole world, and there was a moment that she wouldn't deny giving her that chance.

So much had happened… and finally, Elsa was able to realize Anna only wanted what's best for everyone. At last, Elsa realized what it meant to love.

Her trembling lips opened, wanting to say those three words they had both yearned to say and hear for so long… and all that came out was air. A moment of silence had passed, and Anna took a second look at her wife. A second look at the person that stopped loving her for who she was.

She was reminded of someone else. Someone else that had been by her side… someone else that had held her in her arms whenever it was possible, someone else who would steal kisses from her every chance she got…

Someone else who actually loved her, and someone who she adored, herself. Meg.

Her smile faded, her heart stopped beating for Elsa. Her heart continued to beat for Meg. Anna couldn't choose. There shouldn't be any choosing because she had already had something she needed. Something that Anna could not trust that Elsa could give anymore.

And slowly, she let go of her beloved's hand.

a/n: now, i know everyone may be icky about how anna spanked her son. this is definitely her first time doing it... and i will tell you she does not condone to it whatsoever even as her emotions took over her.