The stern but ultimately unenforceable edicts appeared in a 64-page “Guidebook for Civilised Tourism” that was issued on Tuesday to coincide with the start of a week-long public holiday commemorating the 1949 Communist take-over.

China’s economic boom has triggered an international scramble to attract growing hordes of cash-flush tourists. The United Nations World Tourism Organisation says an army of 83 million Chinese tourists spent nearly £63 billion overseas in 2012.

But the poor behaviour of many first-time travellers has also spawned a global image problem, senior Communist Party leaders fear.

In May, Beijing approved new legislation designed to improve the country’s “national image” and Wang Yang, a top leader, warned that vulgar and impetuous tourists had “damaged the image of Chinese people and caused vicious impact” on the country’s reputation.

The new etiquette manual – which is punctuated with cartoons of naughty and apparently non-Chinese tourists - represents the most comprehensive and at times surreal in a series of recent diktats aimed at improving the “quality” of the tourists Beijing exports to the world.

The guidelines range from the commonsensical – “do not curse locals” – to the bizarre - "don't leave footprints on the toilet seat" and “[when in] Scotland, don't buy stones as souvenirs.”

Off the menu, for Chinese tourists, are strong-arming locals into taking their photograph, urinating or spitting in public pools, drying hanker-chiefs on lampshades and using fingers to excavate foreign bodies from noses and mouths.

Nasal hair should be kept properly trimmed at all times, the National Tourism Administration suggests, while stainless steel cutlery, pillows and airplane life jackets should not be treated as take-away gifts.

“If a dangerous situation arises then someone else will be left without a lifejacket,” the guidebook warns.

The book also offers country-specific tips for Chinese travellers who have already booked their flights.

In Spain, women should always wear earrings, while in Japan they must avoid fiddling with their hair at all costs.

Neither sex should click their fingers at Germans (“Finger clicking is for dogs”) while in France, chrysanthemums and yellow flowers must never be given to those who invite you to their homes.

Advice is offered on visiting Islamic countries – “Don't talk about pork”; Thailand – “Don’t talk about the Royal family. Don’t point at things with your toe”; Algeria – “When you shake hands with others, it must be firm”; India – “Don’t touch other people’s heads”; and Iran – “You must not comment on babies’ eyes.”

Hungarians, the guide points out, do not appreciate you smashing their mirrors while British citizens will find questions about their movements or stomachs utterly impertinent.

“When you greet others [in the UK], don't say “Where are you going?” or “Have you eaten?” like you do back home,” the guide instructs. “It will be seen as rude.”

Even when speaking their own language, Chinese tourists must be cautious, the manual insists. “More and more foreigners can speak Chinese. Don't comment on, belittle or even curse locals while outsiders are present.”

The new guidelines underline a growing consensus in China that while not all tourists can be sent to finishing school, something has to be done to stem a recent slew of scandals involving Chinese abroad.

In one of the highest profile cases a Chinese teenager was excoriated by his fellow countrymen after he was caught inscribing the words, “Ding Jinhao was here” onto a 3,500-year-old temple in Egypt.

In a recent article Hong Kong’s South Morning Post newspaper probed why Chinese tourists were so often seen as “pushy, loud, impolite, unruly” by their foreign hosts.

“Middle-aged or older tourists who have been deprived of or received little education during China's politically tumultuous times tend to act more unruly,” the newspaper said. “Their knowledge of the destination country and its culture is often at best outdated or non-existent.”

Additional reporting by Adam Wu