Barronelle Stutzman

Opinion contributor

As I discussed the engagement story of my longtime customer and friend, hugged him and said goodbye, the Supreme Court was the last thing on my mind. Little did I know that conversation in 2013 would lead me to the high court, which I asked to review my case. If it says no, I risk facing financial ruin.

That longtime customer was Robert Ingersoll. As a floral designer and owner of Arlene’s Flowers in Richland, Washington, I served Rob for nearly a decade, creating dozens of unique arrangements for Valentine’s Days and other important events. I knew Rob was gay, but that never mattered. I loved working with him.

Over the years, Rob’s only request that I couldn’t accept was to create floral designs celebrating his same-sex wedding. Because my Christian faith teaches that marriage is the union of a man and a woman, I cannot take part in celebrating a different understanding of marriage. For me, a wedding is different from an event like Valentine’s Day, because it is a sacred ceremony for a sacred union, and I am so personally involved in celebrating it.

I never expected to be sued

But I care for Rob deeply, so I took his hand in mine, gently explained my religious conflict, gave him the names of other floral designers, discussed his engagement, hugged him and said goodbye. Soon after, my state government and the American Civil Liberties Union sued me not only as a business owner but also as an individual.

At first, it was hard to accept that my friend — who initially said he understood my decision and recognized that I expressed it as kindly as I could — partnered with the ACLU to sue me. But my faith calls me to love people — not hold a grudge. And I miss seeing Rob. I wish he’d come back so that I could serve him for another decade.

Don't change the legal meaning of 'sex':Transgender athletes deserve compassion, but not the right to transform women's sports

This is my second time appealing to the U.S. Supreme Court. The first time, it told the Washington Supreme Court to reconsider my case after the Masterpiece Cakeshop decision, which condemned government hostility toward the religious beliefs of Jack Phillips for declining to create a wedding cake celebrating a same-sex marriage.

But the Washington court didn’t consider the religious hostility against me. It acknowledged that courts and judges who decide cases cannot act with hostility, but leaves open that those who prosecute cases can. It recited word for word most of its first decision against me, which is forcing me back to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Part of what I will tell the justices is the same thing that I tell people when they ask me why I declined Rob’s request: I explain what my wedding work involves, and how my participation is a celebration of that marriage.

I wouldn't force an atheist to worship

For a typical wedding client — back before this lawsuit took away my wedding business — I discuss with the bride and groom their wedding plans and get to know their relationship and personalities; I spend weeks creating dozens of custom floral designs that include not just flowers but also fabrics, pictures and other objects; I bring those designs to the ceremony; and I decorate the venue with my centerpieces and the wedding party with my bouquets, boutonnieres and corsages. I am personally involved in celebrating these weddings. Sometimes, I need to calm the bride and her bridesmaids and, in one case, I helped clean the bridal gown just before they walk down the aisle.

Doing this well requires an artist like me to pour my soul into the event — to believe in the celebration. As happy as I am to serve gay customers, I just can’t take part in wedding ceremonies — events I view as sacred — that violate my faith.

Rob deserved a floral designer who could give her all to making his wedding a success. Because of my faith, I couldn’t be that person. But that’s why I gave him the names of three other floral artists.

This brings to mind something I’ve wondered about all these years. Why would people want to force me to celebrate a wedding that violates my faith? Wouldn’t they want someone able to devote themselves to it? I wouldn’t want to force an atheist to sing at my church on Sunday or a gay graphic designer to create a website promoting my church’s views on marriage. It doesn’t make sense to me.

Don't sanction prejudice:My partner was fired for being gay. The Supreme Court can't set a pro-bigotry precedent.

When people learn that I face possible financial devastation if I lose this case, they ask: Would you do it again? I would, and here’s why.

I’ve lived a lot of life, battled cancer, experienced family turmoil and, through it all, I’ve learned two things. First, God is my source of life and meaning. I can’t turn my back on Him. My relationship with Him means much more than financial security.

Second, life must be lived authentically, and Jesus is my authentic life. Following Him includes a lot that my opponents like — such as loving Rob and serving him with excellence for nearly a decade. But it also includes the very reason why they’re coming after me. I can’t separate parts of my faith if I hope to be genuine.

I have eight children and 24 grandkids, and I always planned to leave my business to them. But I’ve put it all on the line because I know what’s at stake in my case: the freedom to live with authenticity, not just for me and my grandkids but for everyone.

I can’t give that up without a fight. I can’t betray who I am, and no one should be forced to do so.

Barronelle Stutzman is the owner of Arlene’s Flowers, located in Richland, Washington.