A quick look at the Opening Nite of IPL 5 -- which hasn't quite lived up to expectations so far.

A quick look at the Opening Nite of IPL 5 -- which didn't quite lived up to the expectations. The ceremony had some big stars but the production values were pretty bad and on TV, it looked awful.

If I were to be born again, I just wish for one thing, to be part of a magnificent game... The show kicked off with Amitabh Bachchan reciting a poem written by Prasoon Joshi in shudh hindi. But it’s something that seemed out of place. The IPL is about mass commercialism, Amitabh belongs to a better era or so we’d like to believe. As someone in office said, it seems like a Gujarat Tourism advertisement. Same tone, probably the same length too – we switched off after 5 minutes. There wasn’t even much of applause by the time it ended.

Rating: 4/10

Next up were 1st Project. Salman wannabes. Shirtless, jumping around and not achieving much. But still the energy level prompted us to rank them higher than AB.

Rating: 5/10

Ravi Drums was in next. A one-man army. There were drums all around him and he has a Mohawk and at least that was entertaining.

Rating: 3/10

Colonial Cousins, a well known group consisting of Hariharan and Leslie Lewis, were a disappointment as well. It wasn’t that they didn’t make good music but it just seemed lost on the knowledgeable Chennai crowd.

Rating: 2/10

Priyanka Chopra, up next, wires dangling from her hips. She was ready to fly and fly she did… from one corner of the stage to the other. It was still better than what followed – at least the music from Don – Aaj ki Raat got the feet tapping. Bigger and better, they promised, it wasn’t exactly the Promised Land. Not yet.

Rating: 6/10

Prabhudeva is 39 and not as flexible as he used to be but he still managed to get the crowd involved. That's charm there. His movement isn't as crisp and the baggy pants are missing but he's still got the timing right and that's more than what we could say for the others.

Rating: 7/10

After that is was Whistle Podu time. The entire Chennai squad was on the stage. R Ashwin danced to MC Priyanka Chopra's beat and our twitter follower, @IndVsAus tweeted: 'He can do everything bat, bowl & dance.' Now that's what we call an all-rounder. But it was Mahendra Singh Dhoni who was singled out for the questioning. "So who's going to win the IPL?" asked PC. Dhoni's answer: "We, of course."

Rating: 5/10

And just when we thought things were getting better, Kareena Kapoor put in a pretty lame performance. It lacked fizz and it led former IPL Commissioner Lalit Modi to exclaim: Can't bear to watch it anymore - as on TV it looks appalling. At this stage, we were inclined to agree.

Rating: 2/10

Ravi Shastri comes in and talks about the Spirit of Cricket. Next thing, you know BCCI president N Srinivasan walks up and starts talking... we are not too sure about what. He believes that the fifth edition of the IPL will attract new audiences. But as we tweeted: What about those it lost today?

We are out of rating points now.

Later, Amitabh took the mike again and started to drone on and on about the tournament. 'The IPL is a great platform for young talent to make a mark.' Really? It took AB Baby to tell us that. Thank You. Where are you Katy Perry and Salman Khan, in the pink pants!!!

And we were right, Salman, in the pink pants, makes a total Rajini-style entry. The crowd makes some noise. The lights, the glitz, the glamour... Salman is all that and it takes a while, but then the coat comes off. It was a Salman Khan medley with a lot of songs from his movies but even this dragged on. It ended with Salman playing a defensive shot -- that's when we knew that the show was scripted badly. What was the Salman dialogue: Mujhpe ek ehsaan karna aur IPL opening nite's ko ban kar dena please.

But before we forget cricket, the anchor Gaurav Kapoor turns to Suresh Raina and asks him a simple question: Who did you prefer between Priyanka and Kareena? "Kareena. Usne smile accha kiya and dance bhi accha kiya." Hmm... relax, Saif, relax.

But thankfully, they saved the best for last. Katy Perry -- dressed in her Indian best -- gave a soulful rendition of 'Teenage Dreams.' It had rhythm, it looked real, it was good and that's more than what we can say for the rest of the ceremony. As an office colleague put it: Even the Filmfare awards ceremony is better.

Rajeev Shukla closed things off with this gem: "If the beginning is like this you can understand how the tournament will go." That's it for the opening ceremony. It really makes us look forward to the cricket. Who knows... maybe that was the aim.