The struggle is real for the Oscars. The awards telecast has been hurting in the ratings department for years, and The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has been trying anything and everything to remain relevant. They went to a no host format. They expanded the Best Picture category to include as many as 10 films. Despite these efforts, the Academy Awards ceremony feels more and more like a relic from a bygone era.

I don’t think the issues can be boiled down to #OscarsSoWhite, either. It’s more about Academy members being completely out-of-touch with the youth culture of today. The Oscars are a 3-hour masturbatory display that induces eyerolls and cries of “OK Boomer” in anyone under 40.

But I have a solution!

The Oscars should tap into shipping culture and create an award that celebrates the film that inspires the biggest outpouring of fan fiction. Just imagine the possibilities. Social media would explode with fandoms writing songs and stories, and creating artwork of their favorite fictional romantic pairings.

A Best Ship Award would prove the Oscars understand that a film should be judged not only on its artistic merits but also on the impact it has on culture — and the myriad subcultures out there (Meow, furries). With that in mind, I’ve taken the year’s most popular films to demonstrate how such an award could work at the Oscars.

The nominees for the first-ever Best Ship Oscar are:

“Captucky” — Captain America (Chris Evans) and Bucky (Sebastian Stan) in Avengers: Endgame

“ThomThom” — Thomas (Willem Dafoe) and Thomas (Robert Pattinson) in The Lighthouse

“Norjay” — Nora Fanshaw (Laura Dern) and Jay Marotta (Ray Liotta) in Marriage Story

“Reylo”— Rey (Daisy Ridley) and Kylo Ren (Adam Driver)

“Frimmy ” Frank Sheeran (Robert De Niro) and Jimmy Hoffa (Al Pacino) in The Irishman

“Raydy” — Ray (Eddie Murphy) and Lady Reed (Da’Vine Joy Randolph) in Dolemite Is My Name

“Bencis” — Pope Benedict (Anthony Hopkins) and Pope Francis (Jonathan Pryce) and in The Two Popes

“Riff” — Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt) in Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

We all know “Reylo” would win, hands down. But just think of how great the various fandoms would feel about being recognized for fueling their film’s success with unbridled passion and creativity. A Best Ship Award would be a game-changer, and it’s high time the Academy introduced one.

—Reylo_for_lyfe

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