President Trump has announced plans to build a ladder so tall that it’ll reach Heaven itself, and that God will be the one to pay for it.

Just days after offering to sell the Statue of Liberty to Canada, Trump has said he will use the funds raised to build the biggest ladder ever conceived.

‘This will be the most beautiful ladder you’ve ever seen. So big and powerful that they will reach Heaven itself. And you know what? I’m gonna make God pay for it! Believe me, he’ll pay,’ said President Trump.

Trump went on to say that Americans shouldn’t have to wait for death to reach the Kingdom of Heaven.



‘Right now we’ve got a bunch of dead people in Heaven. I don’t like dead people, I like the living. I’m going to make sure every American gets a shot at Heaven real soon. Blessed!’

When NASA informed the President that their satellites showed no heavenly place in the near vicinity of Earth, Trump threatened to close down the space agency.

‘That soon shut them up,’ said President Trump. ‘Believe me, Heaven will be wherever I want it to be.’