“On Saturday 4 November at Stoke City’s 2–2 draw with Leicester, Stoke’s two goals were scored by Xherdan Shaqiri and Peter Crouch,” writes Robin Wiles. “Has there ever been a greater disparity in the heights of players scoring goals for the same team in the same match?”

Not only is it not the biggest height difference to happen ever, it is not even the greatest this season. Nor is it the largest disparity to take place for Stoke this season, as Chai points out: “According to reliable sources (Wikipedia), Peter Crouch’s height is 2.01m (6ft 7in) and Xherdan Shaqiri is 1.69m (5ft 6in), a difference of 32cm. When Stoke won 4-0 against Rochdale in the Carabao Cup on 24 August this season, the height difference between two scorers was a whopping 33cm. Peter Crouch (again) towered over Stoke’s captain for the day, the 1.68m (5ft 5in) Joe Allen.” A reminder that every centimetre counts.

Chai also states how Crouch is at the centre of these height disparities. “Speaking of Crouch (again), when he and the 1.65m (5ft 4in) Aaron Lennon scored for Tottenham in the 9-1 Premier League demolition of Wigan on 23 November 2009, the height difference was 36cm.” Prior to this, many would have remembered this game for Jermain Defoe netting five second-half goals, but not now. This isn’t the last mention of Crouch, mind, as he equalled the 36cm-mark playing alongside Shaun Wright-Phillips for England, as Navin Patel points out. The duo found the scoresheet together on two separate occasions for their country: firstly against Belarus in 2009 and then as second-half subs in a friendly with Egypt a year later.

Now, however, would be a good time to introduce the 2.04m (6ft 8in) Tor Hogne Aarøy from Norway, who spent a season playing for Jef United in Japan, where he formed a classic ‘big man, little man’ partnership with Makai Fukai, who stands at just 1.61m (5ft 3in), a whole 43cm below his Scandinavian team-mate. They both scored in a 3-0 win over Giravanz Kitakyushu and a 2-1 victory against Kataller Toyama in the second division back in 2011.

Rap and football (2)

Last week’s list of rappers referencing football in their lyrics prompted write the response. Here we go …

Neil Caraher was among a number of correspondents to point us in the direction of Manchester United fan Stormzy, who has a warning for West Ham in this line from his track ‘Know Me From’: “I come to your team and I fuck shit up. I’m David Moyes.” But Jason Clarke reckons “the greatest ever footballer reference has to be in Roots Manuva’s Duppy Writer”. Stand back and admire: “To my boys that hassle banks like Jimmy Floyd, Natwest, TSB and Abbey make some noise.” Oof! Time to check in on the social media side …

Glaring omission from football rap lyrics section in @TheKnowledge_GU:



Just let me get the stress that is on my chest off.



Cos my head's a mess like Joleon Lescott.



👂 https://t.co/OsKbA9Ts10 — Ben Smith (@ben_smith_123) November 8, 2017

No mention of Lee Scott? Shame!



"I’m slick - like a Johnny Barnes scissor kick,

Round ours Robbie’s God and Grobbelaar’s Innocent" — Standfield (@DisStandfield) November 8, 2017

Pranjal Tiwariis is probably correct in saying: “I might be the only one who remembers this but the 1999 German hip-hop track ‘MC Gladiator’ by Zweimal Das Gleiche contains this line: ‘Ich komm cleaner als Jürgen Klinsmann, hab nie allzu weite Jeans an’ which translates as: ‘I come cleaner than Jürgen Klinsmann, I never have baggy jeans on’.” O … K.

“There is a huge section of German rap referring to footballers and clubs,” writes Arto Arman. “Luciano, for example, has several tracks dedicated to Premier League players. Here’s a line from one, titled Riyad Mahrez: ‘Surprise, just like Leicester … Riyad Mahrez … Being broke was yesterday’s problem … Riyad Mahrez … Coming for you like Leicester … Riyad Mahrez … Surprise, just like Leicester … Riyad Mahrez.’” So far, so bad. Any more, Arto? Oh, there are more. In a track called Okocha/Banditorinho, Luciano makes his pitch for a Grammy with this killer opening line: “Laces kick like Moussa Sissoko,” and then mentions Geoffrey Kondogbia, Breel Embolo and Didier Drogba for some reason or other.

“I think I’m a bit late in replying to this but the gig has only just been announced.” Tell us more, Raj Patel. “Next June, Steps will be performing at Peterborough United’s London Road (currently known as the Abax stadium). If this wasn’t enough to make you part with your money, they’ll be supported by fellow music legends Aqua and Blue. Unfortunately I’ll have to miss it as I’ve just bought tickets for a slightly more conventional band/football ground combo playing the same weekend, Guns ‘n’ Roses at Berlin’s Olympic Stadium. Disappointing.”

Hello Peterborough! Photograph: Ken McKay/ITV/Rex Shutterstock

Knowledge archive

“I know teams these days tend to wear even a new away kit at the first opportunity at home as a form of advertising,” wrote Simon Horner in 2012, “but has there ever been a kit that, due to a lack of colour clashes, has never been worn?”

While there were a whole multitude of shirts produced in the 90s that should never have seen the light of the day due to their eyeball-bleeding ugliness, Fiorentina’s was perhaps the only one banned on political grounds. It took until December of the 1992-93 season before anyone noticed that the club’s away kit included (presumably unintentional) swastikas. The kit was quickly withdrawn. “Fiorentina and the manufacturers, Lotto, would like to underline that the optical effect [of a swastika image] is purely a matter of chance,” culpa mea-ed the club in a statement.

Of course, Fiorentina actually played in that kit – which doesn’t answer Simon’s question – but Jon Waite brought us news of kits that never saw competitive action beyond a seven year-old winger down the park. “The FA produced a sky-blue version of the 1990 World Cup shirt (as famously modelled by Barney Sumner in the World in Motion video) that was never worn in a fixture,” wrote Jon. “A different sky-blue third kit was worn once in a qualifier in Turkey a year later when Dennis Wise scored the winner.”

Jon also nominated QPR’s third kit from the 1989-90 season, a jazzy black and orange number – their away kit was red and black and the lack of colour clashes meant it was left mouldering on the dressing-room shelves. They also had an unused third kit in 1991-92, which will be familiar to fans of a certain Glasgow club. “It has been long rumoured that this kit was nixed by two senior professionals at the club, Ray Wilkins and Alan McDonald,” said Jon. “Wilkins was still revered at Rangers from his time as a player there and McDonald was an east Belfast boy, long time Rangers fan and Northern Ireland captain. Both allegedly refused to wear the shirt for fear of upsetting friends in high places.”



Can you help?

“Watching Blue Planet 2 and its oddly monikered cock-eyed squid got me wondering: are there any species (plant, animal, bacteria) named after footballers or teams?” wonders Edan Tal. “Hoping for an Allardycius that flourishes under intense pressures.”

“Guitar-toting indie tyro Jake Bugg is sponsoring Notts County’s kit throughout November. Is this the first time an individual has been a professional club’s shirt sponsor?” asks Gregg Bakowski.

Jon Stead, right, wearing his Jake Bugg-sponsored Notts County shirt. Photograph: TGSPhoto/REX/Shutterstock

“What is the shortest time between a player featuring for an age group national team and the full team?” tweets Nathan Eaton.

“Recently a rather excellent book has been launched called ‘Rocket Men’ that profiles the four players (Luther Blissett, Ross Jenkins, Ian Bolton, Steve Sherwood) who played for Watford in all four divisions during the meteoric rise under Graham Taylor,” notes Simon Devon. “Jenkins’s story has one extra twist – he played for Watford in games where they were 92nd in the league (on 23 August 1975 and 30 August 1975) and top of the First Division (31 August 1982). Has any other player achieved this with one club?”

“Bologna’s Simone Verdi recently scored twice on direct free-kicks, each from about 25 metres out, but one with the left foot and one with the right,” explains Ben Garnham. “Has anyone else scored two free-kicks in one game with different feet?”

“Harrogate Town were formed in 1914 and, due to the first world war, didn’t play their first competitive game until 1919,” writes David Jolly. “Has any team waited longer to play their first game?”

@TheKnowledge_GU In the village of Tomer, right on the Israeli-Jordanian border, there is a football pitch at an approximate height of 270 meters BELOW sea level. Is that the lowest football pitch on earth? — Yaad Ilani (@yaad_ilani) November 13, 2017

@TheKnowledge_GU My predictions league have a temperature theme this week, are there records of the extremes that matches have been played in? ♨️❄️ — Sir Sidney P (@sirsidneyp) November 13, 2017