Every once in a while I think back to my childhood to examine what went wrong. I tend to flip to the obvious subjects, but just recently I’ve come to terms with the fact that what went wrong was TV.

Now in comparison with today, TV didn’t make you as numb. TV was like my dysfunctional brother although he was always there when I needed company. I think I had a TV in my room from when I was a toddler.

In surveying some of the creepiest kids’ shows from the 70s and 80s, I’ve noticed the blatant influence of mind altering drugs, which go beyond a Marty Seals and Kroft type of west coast post smoking ouveure such as Sigmund and the Sea Monsters.

Or Far Out Space Nuts. Nuff Said. “I said Lunch not Launch!” I think I saw this intro a thousand times.



Maybe it was when cocaine became an issue. Of course the road to hell is paved with best intentions even if you are on drugs.



Somehow this all makes sense. As drug culture seeped into the kids that grew up in the 70s and 80s they became the first wave of hyper-consumers. Take it from Mr. M when he says that “there’s room for more.”

This is from show called The Letter People which I never saw till now. And I’m glad. This song is sort of catchy though. Watch it a few times.

I keep feeling as though as you are focused on the puppet something very bad is going to come out of the darkness in the background and GET YOU.

Next is some Christian propaganda show with the mysterious name of Circle Square where all the kids look seriously depressed. There is something to be said for FORCED HAPPINESS. I like their logo.

It’s clear that the adults who wrote and directed this are the ones that are depressed. Maybe their parents were depressed. Maybe Jesus was depressed.

On the other hand there was The Magic Garden. Now this show had the Chuckle Patch. Who could forget the Story Box? Sherlock the squirrel and his duck friend seem creepy in retrospect. The comforting hippy ladies make up for it. “Hope you have a shiny day.” The set makes me feel boxed in though. The nice bright colors are trying to distract me enough to stop worrying about the only way in our out.

Another posting from Cringevision on Youtube was this one from Peppermint Park. The way the hands move is just wrong.

The Adventures of Mark Twain. A lot of work went into the claymation which was done by Will Vinton of California Raisin fame. This is also not technically a show. It was actually a movie. This segment called the Mysterious Stranger was taken out by Disney when then showed it on TV though. Wonder why? The kids talk to Satan.

I just find Fun with Grids tedious. There is just something wrong with the rabbit and the lighting. Something also wrong about the way the rabbit is manipulating the human.

The Adventure Game – The Vortex. The birds are hot in a British sort of way. I don’t trust the guy at the controls (Dereck?) who seems like an early computer nerd who doesn’t get out much. It looks like he believes it is real. The controls and set makes me pine for Dr. Who in a big way though.

If you got this far, I’ll just say in conclusion I believe that TV was a factor, but probably not the main one that has caused so much pain in my life. I believe this now because I didn’t see most of these shows that are TRULY DISTURBING until now. I cannot blame TV my dysfunctional brother any longer entirely. TV is almost absolved. I can let it all go.

– X.F. Pine