I woke up this morning to an extremely annoying news item on the BBC website. Apparently, more men face a lonely old age. “OH REALLY?” I thought to myself, “let’s have a little look at this then.”

“Increasing numbers of men are facing loneliness and isolation in old age.” Oh dear. I guess women don’t.

“Men are often reluctant to join clubs for older people.” And???? What are we supposed to do about that?

“When their partner dies, often a man’s social life shrinks,” Ah! I knew that it would be the woman’s fault somewhere in here. If ONLY she hadn’t died, the selfish madam.

The report goes on to talk about John. Poor John who simply cannot enjoy life.

“The house was always full of kids” Well, presumably they’ve all grown up now.

“When women die, people drift away from the man left behind. Women keep the family together and people rally around them.” So, you expect women to fulfil the role of social secretary. That way, you don’t have to do anything. You can just sit on your bone idle backside whilst the women provide you with visitors and entertainment. Got it.

With loneliness and isolation linked with poor mental and physical health, the report says it is crucial to target services for older men more effectively. Many men said they preferred services “that reflect longstanding interests and passions“.

The answer, apparently, is to have more research into how we involve men in designing services. I assume that this is because men are so oppressed and underrepresented? It must be awful for them living in a society that excludes them from everything and doesn’t cater for them.

“With social isolation and loneliness posing a serious risk to their health, local activities must be more tailored to suit men’s interests and needs. The marketing needs to be more “blokey.” I don’t even know what this is supposed to mean. Clubs for men where they can shoot things? Club things to death? What?

Quite frankly, I think this is a heap of bullshit. Men rely on women for bloody everything. Basically, these men are whining because their wives have died and selfishly haven’t bothered to leave a plan in place for them to socialise afterwards. What woman would just die without putting in a contingency plan? It’s just so inconsiderate. Here’s a thought. Why not take responsibility for your own lives? Why not build and maintain friendships of your own instead of expecting women to do the work for you? I couldn’t give less of a fuck if men are feeling sad and lonely because there’s no women there to ease the pressure of life. Get a fucking grip, stop whining and go and sort your own social life out.

For fucks sake.