Some American parents want their kids to reject the very bland and drab name ‘Dad’ and to start calling them ‘Papa’. Will it catch on?

‘Daddy’ not cool: why hipster dads want their kids to call them ‘Papa’

Name: Papa

Age: In the English language, three or four hundred years old.

Popularity: Soaring, if you fit the right demographic.

Papa? Isn’t that a bit old-fashioned? Yes, it is. According to Google’s Ngram Viewer, the peak year for usage of the word “papa” in literature was 1869. After that it went into swift decline, eventually being overtaken by “dad” and “daddy” around 1970.

But you said it was soaring. It is soaring.

With whom? Think about it. “Papa” is an outdated term that was last popular in the 19th century, when men were rugged and bearded and ...

Oh, goddamnit. Hipsters! That’s right, it’s hipsters. Hipsters have reclaimed the word “papa” and everything in the world is bad again.

Is this really happening? Sadly, yes. The Daily Beast just published a report about the resurgence of “papa”. It’s a great report, too, especially if you enjoy screaming wordless howls of rage into pillows.

Why? Here’s a quote: “Justin Underwood, a 34-year-old IT professional in Virginia and father to a three-year-old girl named Afton Love, refers to himself as a ‘feminist papa bear’ and thinks the ‘dad’ sobriquet is ‘very bland and drab’.”

Oh, Jesus, where’s my pillow? It’s thought to be linked to the rise of “mama” as an identifier for strongminded, progressive mothers who reject “mum” as too old-fashioned and suburban.

Even though, arguably, the woman who popularised the term more than anyone else in recent years was Sarah Palin? Well, yes. But we don’t talk about that.

And “papa” is its male equivalent? Yes. And it’s catching. One person interviewed estimates that half the children in his nursery school in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, call their fathers “papa”.

To play devil’s advocate, does it really matter what people call their parents? Shut up. You’re worse than Hitler.

That’s a little bit strong. Get out of my room, Papa! I hate you! I never asked to be born, Papa!

Do say: “Quinoa, be a good boy and fetch the small-batch chia pudding for Papa.”

Don’t say: “We all know that Papa John, perhaps the most famous Papa in the world, is a Koch Brothers ally who vocally opposes Obamacare, right?”