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Spirit Hoods allow you to wordlessly combine your twin loves of discomfort and impracticality. When the rest of society sees you with a delicately-skinned stuffed animal dripping down your back, they'll know at an immediate glance that they should not invite you to a party or engage in conversation with you, as you will be far too busy punishing yourself for being the kind of person who thinks buying a probably-shedding soft cheetah helmet is a good idea.

Dan's Fashion "Do": If you're hoping for a summer of complete solitude while all of your friends abandon you as "too far gone," I'd recommend buying no less than two Spirit Hoods. (They're only $130 each.) Having a variety of Spirit Hoods is like- oh holy shit -- $130, really? Jesus. Anyway, having a variety of Spirit Hoods is like posting a suicide note that also insults all of your friends and loved ones. It shows everyone that you're right on the edge while reminding them that you're not really worth saving.

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BONUS: This isn't really a fashion do or don't, but if you look closely, there's an interesting story being told within the men's Spirit Hoods photoshoot. There are 20 different styles of Fancy Animal Scalp Vest, and only one model shows off 19 of them. A number of women show off the women's Spirit Hoods, but only two men display the men's, and the burden is far from equal. If they had one model wear every outfit, or if they got a variety of models and mixed it up, I wouldn't have raised an eyebrow. But the split is 1 versus 19. They got this blond white model to put on 19 different ensembles, but not the one called "Black Wolf."