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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Trump threatens to close US-Mexico border permanently | Tensions rise after weekend clash | Photo of children fleeing tear gas goes viral | Congress back with 11 days to avert shutdown | GM to close plants, slash thousands of jobs | Papadopoulos set to start prison sentence | Cyber Monday deals | White House shows off Christmas decorations

TALK OF THE MORNING

Trump on the border -- Shut. It. Down.:

This morning, President Trump Donald John TrumpSteele Dossier sub-source was subject of FBI counterintelligence probe Pelosi slams Trump executive order on pre-existing conditions: It 'isn't worth the paper it's signed on' Trump 'no longer angry' at Romney because of Supreme Court stance MORE threatened to shut down the border "permanently" after the weekend's clash. Trump tweeted: "Mexico should move the flag waving Migrants, many of whom are stone cold criminals, back to their countries. Do it by plane, do it by bus, do it anyway you want, but they are NOT coming into the U.S.A. We will close the Border permanently if need be. Congress, fund the WALL!" http://bit.ly/2DXXPJB

What sparked this -- the weekend was a bit chaotic:

A fraction of the migrant caravan arrived at the U.S. border over the weekend hoping for asylum in the United States. https://nyti.ms/2zse4uB

Then a peaceful protest went south: Hundreds of migrants then rushed the border and tried to breach the fences, with a few throwing projectiles at Border Patrol agents. https://nyti.ms/2zse4uB

So Border Patrol agents used tear gas: Tear gas was fired to push immigrants back. Several viral photos have circulated with children crying and running from the tear gas. Photos and full story: https://wapo.st/2TLOOby

A major U.S. port of entry closed: U.S. Customs and Border Protection then temporarily closed the pedestrian and vehicle bridges at a port of entry near San Diego. https://nyti.ms/2zse4uB

How many migrants successfully breached the border: Around 30. http://bit.ly/2Aoyep9

What will happen to the migrants who violently tried crossing the border: Mexican authorities are trying to identify those migrants and will deport them. http://bit.ly/2Aoyep9

What will happen to migrants still hoping for asylum?: The incoming Mexican administration has agreed to President Trump's new policy requiring migrants to remain in Mexico while their asylum requests are processed. http://bit.ly/2P4JlbZ

It's Monday -- welcome back from Thanksgiving! I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

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REACTIONS TO THE BORDER CHAOS:

From the incoming California governor: California Gov.-elect Gavin Newsom (D) condemned the use of tear gas. He tweeted: "These children are barefoot. In diapers. Choking on tear gas. Women and children who left their lives behind -- seeking peace and asylum -- were met with violence and fear. That's not my America. We're a land of refuge. Of hope. Of freedom." http://bit.ly/2TNjSr7

From the San Diego Border Patrol chief: Rodney Scott argued that the demonstration in Tijuana was not peaceful. "I kind of challenge that it was a peaceful protest or that the majority of these people were claiming asylum. ... The group immediately started throwing rocks and debris at our agents, taunting our agents. Once our agents were assaulted and the numbers started growing -- we had two or three agents initially facing hundreds of people at a time -- they deployed tear gas to protect themselves or protect the border." http://bit.ly/2BxZeEA

From Rep.-elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.): She tweeted, "Asking to be considered a refugee & applying for status isn't a crime." She then equated the migrants to Jewish families during WWII and people fleeing Rwanda and Syria. http://bit.ly/2Qj7zE1

HAPPENING TODAY

A December stay(in prison)cation:

Former Trump campaign staffer George PapadopoulosGeorge Demetrios PapadopoulosTale of two FBI cases: Clinton got warned, Trump got investigated Trump says he would consider pardons for those implicated in Mueller investigation New FBI document confirms the Trump campaign was investigated without justification MORE is reporting for his prison sentence in Oxford, Wis., today. How long he will be in prison: 14 days. The charge: Lying to the FBI about his contacts with the Russians during the 2016 presidential campaign. https://cnn.it/2DK1Z78

Livestream outside the prison: http://bit.ly/2BwrRlh

NEWS THIS MORNING

Major GM layoffs:

Via The Washington Post's Taylor Telford, General Motors announced it will lay off 15 percent of the company's salaried workers and will close five plants in the U.S. and Canada. Why: To focus on electric and self-driving cars -- and more efficient trucks, SUVs and crossovers. https://wapo.st/2FIy8i9

Locations of the halted production plants: Detroit-Hamtramck, Mich.; Lordstown, Ohio; and Oshawa, Ontario, and propulsion plants in Warren, Mich., and White Marsh, Md.

The layoffs: 15 percent of its salaried employees will be laid off, including 25 percent of its executives.

How many people may be laid off: 14,700 jobs, according to The Associated Press. What we know about the layoffs: http://bit.ly/2SfdN5n

Read GM's statement: http://bit.ly/2QmMgS9

REACTIONS:

From a BuzzFeed reporter who grew up near one of the plants: Reporter Henry J. Gomez tweeted: "Having grown up in the Mahoning Valley (Youngstown-Warren-Lordstown area), I can tell you that all the people using words like 'devastating' to describe today's GM news are spot-on accurate. The GM Lordstown plant is the main economic driver for the region. I remember my parents, friends, and family talking about how hard it would be to sell a house if the plant ever closed, let alone keep one if your income depended on it..." Read his full thread on the news: http://bit.ly/2P3KzUS

From Ohio's senators: Sen. Sherrod Brown Sherrod Campbell BrownMnuchin says he and Pelosi have agreed to restart coronavirus stimulus talks Harris faces pivotal moment with Supreme Court battle Remote work poses state tax challenges MORE (D-Ohio) tweeted, "GM owes the community answers on how the rest of the supply chain will be impacted & what consequences its disastrous decision will have..." Sen. Rob Portman Robert (Rob) Jones PortmanMcConnell locks down key GOP votes in Supreme Court fight Romney undecided on authorizing subpoenas for GOP Obama-era probes Congress needs to prioritize government digital service delivery MORE (R-Ohio) tweeted, "I'm deeply frustrated with [GM's] decision to shut down its plant in #Lordstown & I'm disappointed w/ how the hardworking employees have been treated throughout this process." https://wapo.st/2FIy8i9

11 DAYS TO AVERT A GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN

'Fa-la-la-la-la, la-shut-it-down':

Via The Hill's Niv Elis, Congress is returning to Washington after Thanksgiving with just a few days to avert a government shutdown. http://bit.ly/2AkZwMY

What needs to happen to keep the government open: Congress needs to pass seven spending bills by Dec. 7, otherwise the government will partially close.

If there is a shutdown, this will likely be why: Trump has threatened to veto a spending bill that doesn't allocate funds to build a border wall on the U.S.-Mexico line.

Why a shutdown is totally possible: Trump told reporters earlier this month, "This would be a very good time to do a shutdown." Trump did predict a shutdown wouldn't be necessary if Democrats agree to border wall funding.

Current bills: The House bill includes $5 billion in border wall funding, while the Senate bill includes $1.6 billion. But that doesn't mean Democrats will support the proposal.

Keep in mind: Democrats will control the House starting in January, so this is Trump's last chance to fund a border wall while his party still controls both chambers in Congress.

What to expect: http://bit.ly/2AkZwMY

IT'S CYBER MONDAY

Today's the day you realize that you accidentally memorized your credit card number:

Shoppers are expected to spend $7.8 billion today on Cyber Monday deals today, which would make today the biggest shopping day in U.S. history. http://bit.ly/2RjTTpX

LISTS OF SOME OF THE BEST DEALS BY CATEGORY:

Brief rundown of which stores have the best deals today: For example, J.Crew, Macy's, Home Depot and Sephora. The list: https://bzfd.it/2AoVZgV

The best tech deals: http://bit.ly/2SbTENu

The best clothing, shoe and jewelry deals: https://on.today.com/2r6oDyV

The best deals at Wayfair: https://bzfd.it/2TGCdX3

HAPPENING THIS WEEK

Hey, Nancy Pelosi Nancy PelosiPelosi slams Trump executive order on pre-existing conditions: It 'isn't worth the paper it's signed on' On The Money: Anxious Democrats push for vote on COVID-19 aid | Pelosi, Mnuchin ready to restart talks | Weekly jobless claims increase | Senate treads close to shutdown deadline Trump signs largely symbolic pre-existing conditions order amid lawsuit MORE. I bet there's a good Cyber Monday deal on fruit baskets for your colleagues:

Via The Hill's Jordain Carney and Juliegrace Brufke, House Democrats are huddling Wednesday for a closed-door meeting to vote for their party's nominee for Speaker of the House. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and her allies are working behind the scenes to secure votes for her. Keep in mind: Pelosi's real challenge to become Speaker is the floor vote in January, but Wednesday's meeting is a good barometer. http://bit.ly/2DYPzJx

What else is happening in Congress this week: Lots of nominations. http://bit.ly/2DYPzJx

IN OTHER NEWS

*Starts whistling 'Here Comes The Bride'*:

MSNBC's "Morning Joe" co-hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski got married over the weekend at a secret ceremony at the National Archives. Photos -- Mika's dress is beautiful!: http://bit.ly/2Bx6ZdG

The ceremony: Rep. Elijah Cummings Elijah Eugene CummingsBlack GOP candidate accuses Behar of wearing black face in heated interview Overnight Health Care: US won't join global coronavirus vaccine initiative | Federal panel lays out initial priorities for COVID-19 vaccine distribution | NIH panel: 'Insufficient data' to show treatment touted by Trump works House Oversight Democrats to subpoena AbbVie in drug pricing probe MORE (D-Md.) officiated the ceremony with the couple, five guests and their children. The ceremony happened at the National Archives, in front of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. It's the first-ever wedding at the venue.

The reception: The couple then hosted a small reception with about 40 people at Chez Billy Sud in Georgetown. The reservations were made under a friend's name to keep it private.

How they kept it a secret: "The couple did not send out any formal invitations; they made about 14 phone calls to their family members and close friends, and none of the guests knew where the dinner was until Saturday evening."

The full rundown: http://bit.ly/2Bx6ZdG

NOTABLE TWEETS

So magical!:

Watch: http://bit.ly/2P0fRvT

Tidbit: "This year's White House Gingerbread house used 225 lbs. of Gingerbread!" (h/t Melania Trump's communications director, Stephanie Grisham) http://bit.ly/2P7AoyY

ON TAP

The House is out. The Senate meets later today.

12:30 p.m. EST: President Trump has lunch with Vice President Pence.

2:35 p.m. EST: President Trump leaves for Tupelo, Miss.

3 p.m. EST: The Senate meets.

3:35 p.m. EST: Vice President Pence speaks at the Hidden Heroes third annual national convention at the Capital Hilton in Washington, D.C.

5:30 p.m. EST: The Senate holds a procedural vote on a nomination. The Senate's full schedule today: http://bit.ly/2QnOcK4

7:40 p.m. EST: President Trump leaves Tupelo, Miss., for Gulfport, Miss.

1 a.m. EST Tuesday: President Trump gets back to the White House.

Friday: President Trump attends the Group of 20 Leaders' Summit in Buenos Aires.

Dec. 12: Sentencing for President Trump's former lawyer Michael Cohen. https://cnn.it/2QWv4Qz

WHAT TO WATCH

5:15 p.m. EST: President Trump holds a campaign rally in Tupelo, Miss. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2P5SVLM

7:50 p.m. EST: President Trump and Vice President Pence participate in a roundtable in Gulfport, Miss. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2QjxtYl

9 p.m. EST: President Trump holds a campaign rally in Biloxi, Miss. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2AmMGhx

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Cake Day! Or to my British readers, National Sponge Day! (Yes, I've been watching The Great British Baking Show…)

I'm so happy this is real:

Via Refinery29, a chocolate shop in New York has chocolate mousse on tap. Video -- innovation is a beautiful thing: http://bit.ly/2zulPQP

And to break up your Monday afternoon, here's a puppy with an excellent alibi for why it didn't torment the cat: http://bit.ly/2DJ9zPq