In today’s penis news, an angry Croatian man is suing the surgeons who allegedly shortened his penis by 3 inches during a botched procedure. Artist Željku Nosiću, 57, was diagnosed with Peyronie’s disease 2 years ago—a dramatic curve in your Johnson that makes erections painful and sex difficult—and elected to go under the knife to fix his curved penis. However, Nosiću says his doctors didn’t brief him about the possible side effects of the operation. So when he excitedly took a look at his penis after the wounds from the surgery healed, as one would, needless to say he was surprised to see several inches missing from his member. “The surgery was supposed to help,” he told The Sun, “but I came back with half a penis.” You won’t find a sadder quote than that one in any story you read this morning. Trust us, we looked.

Nosiću says he plans to take his docs to court, because in addition to the whole hey-by-the-way-you-might-lose-part-of-your-dick-during-this-operation thing that they neglected to mention, he is convinced that the surgeons also didn’t perform the procedure properly. It’s a tough break for Nosiću, but, devil’s advocate, Peyronie’s surgery isn’t always a sure bet. Between 65,000 and 120,000 middle-aged men are diagnosed with the disease each year, and while drugs and surgery may help, a full recovery isn’t guaranteed. Maybe if he wants those extra inches back, Nosiću can borrow a couple from the man with the 18.9-inch penis.

Andrew Daniels Andrew Daniels is the How To editor for Popular Mechanics.

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