The internet is a powerful tool for connecting with people, but just as Uncle Ben said, “With great power, comes a bunch of buttons that are distracting as hell.” Herein lies the problem: Amidst the see of social networks, connectivity graphs, and venn diagrams of people’s lives are a lot of ways to ruin those connections. They sometimes come, literally, in the form of a shiny red button. Push the button and, yes, you’ll receive a free digital eye patch! Now you can finally be the internet pirate you always knew you were. The trade off is anyone you were trying to have a serious conversation with may not be too happy with your new pixelated accessory and click the other shiny red button: disconnect. Just remember what Aunt May said, “I’m not going to sit here and suffer your bullshit you dog eared fuck!”