My story of domestic violence with links for resources to more information. Learn More About Domestic Violence: Center For Help & Safety Website Center For Help & Safety On Facebook Forward To A Friend How I Survived 5 Years of Abuse

At sixteen, I thought I had met the boy of my dreams. That of course, meant that he showed interest in being around me, and that was all I'd ever really expected of a loving relationship at the time. We enjoyed summers together, but eventually I finished high school and went to New York City to attend an intensive performance arts conservatory, all while being blind to the fact that I was being treated so poorly. It was during this time that I discovered he'd been cheating on me for years, telling me lies that any fool would have been privy to.



When I left school, we moved in together in a dangerous neighborhood while I paid for not just my bills, but his bills as well. Once we were on our own, the abuse became more sick & twisted, each time more horrific and seemingly out of an instruction manual on how to cause the most psychological harm to someone. One day he would slam my head in a bathroom door, the next he would find pleasure in tying me up like a turkey and placing a heater inches from my face. No one had any idea what I was going through because I showed no signs that something was wrong. The closest anyone got to revealing that they thought I might need help was a night that a friend picked me up to go bowling and noticed I was soaking wet from head to toe and extremely quiet. The friend didn't know at the time that my boyfriend had thrown a bottle of his urine on me and locked me out of the apartment.



The flagrant cheating continued with minimal efforts to conceal it because he knew I wouldn't leave. I knew he wasn't using protection, so the only way I was able to avoid relations with him to protect myself was to tell him I was no longer taking contraception. Each time he'd leave me alone at home, I'd try to search for apartments so I could leave, but he'd always catch me, even after I'd clear my search history. It eventually became so risky that I stopped searching.



The final incident occurred after I refused to give him my cell phone password which led to him attacking me without his usual calculated methods, leaving visible markings on my body and face. Even after almost killing me that day, I still didn't go to the police. It wasn't until the next day that I sought to get an escort to retrieve my things did the police tell me they'd have to press charges and arrest him.



After three charges were brought against him including aggravated assault and terroristic threats, and ten days spent in jail, he was released. I was in the middle of making arrangements to move out, but hadn't left our apartment just yet, so in the middle of the night, he entered the bed I was sleeping in and sexually assaulted me.



It's been almost ten years since I finally escaped the manipulated and brainwashed woman he had turned me into, but I will never not wonder how someone as strong as I thought I was, fell victim to a coward like him. It scares me that there are so many women in the world who will find countless reasons as to why they either can't leave or why there's nothing wrong with how they're being treated. October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, and I thank you for allowing me to share this part of my life with you. Please know, that if this can happen to me, then it can truly happen to ANYONE, even the person you least suspect. And please bear in mind that I had no shortage of people offering support and a helping hand to me, I just refused to hear that there was a problem to begin with. Domestic Violence usually coincides with extreme mental manipulation. Please find out more about this epidemic by clicking here.

I survived. At the courtroom hearing, he wore his naval uniform and was greeted with a handshake and a salute from nearly everyone in the room. They didn't know he had tried to kill me. Shay Leonia is a singer & songwriter from New Jersey, and is also a domestic violence survivor. To find out more about Shay, visit www.shayleonia.com How do you #SEEDV? Please visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline to find out more information on the epidemic that faces so many of us today.

http://www.thehotline.org/

DONATE to your local shelter: Each year, women escape to shelters who not only welcome them, but also any children they have. The holidays become an added challenge for mothers to maintain normalcy for their kids who have had to witness so much. Find out how to donate toys & other goods to your local shelter. http://www.hopeandsafetynj.org/