Georgia Tech Athletics was thrilled to announce late Saturday evening that Coach Paul Johnson successfully signed the first ever pair of Siamese twins in college football to play for the Ramblin’ Wreck in 2017. James (a 3-star half-back) and LeSean Jameson (a 3-star half-back like his brother) will collectively be Georgia Tech’s (and college football’s) first ever 6-star full-back. The NCAA ruled that they can technically be considered one player, a decision that made Coach Paul Johnson smile for the first time in his life.

Coach Johnson commented, “The fact that James and LeSean are technically considered to be a single player means I can finally morph my triple option into a quadruple option. We’ll be unstoppable. Look out Taxslayer Bowl 2017, we're coming to defend our title.” After speaking with The Crouton's sports correspondent, Coach Johnson promptly skipped away while whistling what can only be described as a jaunty tune.

Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire. None of the events described below occurred in real life. None of the opinions expressed below reflect those of Georgia Tech. There is no malice meant in the writing of this article and it's sole purpose is comedic effect.