Poor Guam, caught in the rhetorical crossfire. As North Korea threatened firing missiles toward the American territory, you could avoid accounts from the “failing fake news” media whose readerships and viewers President Donald Trump keeps increasing.

Instead, check out the Gannett-Owned Pacific Daily News on Guam as editor Dana Williams covers a story that’s basically unlike anything she’s encountered. (“What’s going to happen? Nobody knows?”) There, you find some of the same news as elsewhere—Trump hiking his rhetorical bluster from New Jersey and the estimate that successful North Korean missiles would need 14 minutes to arrive. It provides word about the island’s 15 All-Hazards Alert Warning System sirens, located in low-lying areas throughout the island, and of the Guam Visitors Bureau boss assuring tourists that Guam is “‘a safe and protected island destination’ and noted a record number of visitors so far this year.”

As for its readers and other islanders, “While most island residents interviewed on Friday dismissed the North Korean crisis as bluster between North Korean leader Kim Jong Un and President Donald Trump, a feeling of unease belied the sense of normalcy on Guam.” But there was a lot of normalcy. Public schools will be opening their doors to about 2,900 teachers Friday, but 63 vacancies remained as of Thursday, acting Superintendent Erika Cruz said. You also get the local weather, sports, classified and “Pets of the Week” feature, with the urging check out Guam Animals in Need “if you are thinking of adding a dog or cat to your family.”

In sports, “Noah Taimanglo, 14, bagged the Guam National Bowling Championship in the Open Masters division at Century Lanes Bowling Center” and will compete in the Asian Youth Championship in Manila in October.

There are letters (really emails) from readers with one writing that the ideal would be well served in bringing in small cattle found on Lantau (Hong Kong’s largest island). “These cattle are descendants of dairy cows left to fend for themselves when a Trappist Monastery’s dairy operations were moved from Lantau in the 1980s.”

The Trappist monks were clearly more civic minded than a Capuchin brother who's the unseemly topic of another story. He “allegedly sexually abused a boy by grabbing his private parts, purportedly to teach the boy how to have sex with his girlfriend, according to a lawsuit filed Thursday in the Superior Court of Guam.”

As for the weekend, be informed the contractor Hawaiian Rock “will begin milling and paving the southbound lane of Route 26 from Ahu Street to Kalamasa Drive. During this time, Route 26 will be reduced to a flagger controlled one lane road.”

Life goes on.

Scaramucci returns to the TV fray

Anthony Scaramucci's media self-exile is as brief as his tenure (self-immolation) as White House communications boss. Shown the exit after ten days, he'll surface on ABC's This Week With George Stephanopoulos and Stephen Colbert's CBS late-night show Monday.

Figure it will be a mix of pre-meditated and rehearsed self-deprecation and an homage to President Trump. But what should one ask? Readers have a few ideas:

"As a practicing Catholic, you lasted a novena prayer plus a day. If you could change one thing from your tenure, what would that be and why?" (K.B. Forbes)

"You know that the anatomical gymnastics you accused Steven Bannon of performing is impossible, right? Was that a metaphor?" (Jack Altschuler)

"I’d love to ask him if he thinks (John) Kelly fired him to say, 'Don’t mess with me' to the rest of the staff? Also, if Javanka backed him being hired, why did they back him being fired so quickly? Does he regret choosing being used and tossed away like a Kleenex over his marriage?" (Jon Maas)