Doghouse, doghouse, doghouse ... Who to put in the Leafs’ doghouse after that 3-1 loss to the Florida Panthers?

I know. Let’s put the entire team in there. Coaches, too. Every one of them.

When a team has lost five of six and the coach starts talking about a crisis, it’s pretty easy to have a full doghouse.

“Is it a crisis? It’s a crisis that we haven’t won enough games,” said coach Randy Carlyle. “That’s the way I would deem it.”

The penthouse? Don’t worry. It’ll be occupied. But you have to get through the doghouse diatribe first to find out.

Doghouse

The Toronto Maple Leafs. If you could just take a step back and not worry about the standings, or the losing streak, or the fact fans pay through the nose to see the team live, Tuesday night’s performance would be almost comical.

The Leafs found interesting, unique and innovative ways to keep themselves hemmed in their own end. There was James Reimer passing it to Brad Boyes. There was Jake Gardiner losing the puck off a faceoff with no one around him. There was Nazem Kadri playing just like he used to when Ron Wilson was coaching, with inexplicable passes at the blue line.

There was Troy Bodie, getting the puck — on his stick — to within an inch of the blue line and still not getting it out. There was Carl Gunnarsson passing from the right side halfway in the Leafs zone to about 60 or 80 feet to the left side. Of course it was intercepted. There was Phil Kessel closest to a loose puck in his zone — looking at it — and skating away from it.

Name a Leaf player and there was a blunder associated with him, some inexplicable brain cramp.

There was the coach who, struggling for offence, broke up the one line that was scoring. Mason Raymond, with four assists the other night against Chicago, was on the fourth line while David Clarkson moved on to the second unit.

Reunited with Joffrey Lupul and Peter Holland with the Leafs down 3-1, the combo scored to give the team hope. Too little, too late.

The post-game self-flagellation was worthy of some religious cults.

Reimer: “We either have guys, or half a team, or a full team that don’t show up in parts. Then things go wrong. And pucks go in your net. And you feel bad about yourself.

“I don’t know if there’s one specific reason, except for the fact that we need to find a way to come bring it every night, for 60 minutes a night, consecutively. That’s really the only way to get out of it. It starts with hard work. And looking at yourself in the mirror.”

Carlyle: “It’s hard to be positive because there’s a frustration level … when you don’t have success and when your team plays the way it played tonight. The coaching staff is frustrated, the players are frustrated, I’m sure management is frustrated. I’m sure our fans are frustrated.”

Dion Phaneuf: “We have to start winning games and get points. These are points you cannot get back. We’ve got to find a way to get better. That’s all of us. I made some mistakes tonight that are unacceptable. Take responsibility for it. We’ve got to move forward. We’ve got to find a way to get out of it, and we’re going to get out of it together.”

Raymond: “We simply got embarrassed. It’s pretty simple. I don’t think guys can be happy with that at all. We got embarrassed at home. I think we got beat out all over the ice in almost all situations.”

Cody Franson: “Just stupid mistakes. We were bringing pucks back into our own end, taking too long to move the puck, a combination of different things. Just uncharacteristic of what we’re trying to make our identity.”

The Penthouse?

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Thought you’d never ask. How about goal-scorer Brad Boyes, who ... what? Oh yeah, he’s not a Leaf anymore. Then winning goalie Scott Clemmensen, who ... what? Oh yeah, he’s not a Leaf anymore.

Then let’s put Trevor Smith in there. He sacrificed himself blocking a shot in the third and broke his hand.

Yes, another Leafs centre is injured.

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