– That loud, annoying beeping you hear is the Wild apparently backing into the playoffs.

The battle for the eighth spot in the Western Conference resembles a lightweight pillow fight. The winner between the skidding Wild and slumping Colorado Avalanche will be awarded a matchup against, likely, the heavyweight Dallas Stars or St. Louis Blues in the first round.

With the Blues doing Minnesota a favor Sunday night by beating the Avalanche, all the Wild needed was to defeat one of the NHL’s bottom dwellers to clinch a playoff spot.

So, of course, the rival Winnipeg Jets won easily, 5-1, in their final home game.

“We’re going to get throttled [in the playoffs] if we’re going to play like this,” goalie Devan Dubnyk said. “I’m not worried about it, I don’t think we are, but we all know [that effort’s] not even going to come close come playoff time. We don’t want to be sliding in.”

The Wild lacked gusto throughout its third consecutive defeat. The only reason the Wild still is staring at a playoff berth is because the Avalanche, the only other team alive, also has lost three in a row and five of six.

So this less-than-compelling final playoff spot push is down to a two-point magic number — either two points gained by the Wild in its final two games or two lost points by the Avalanche in its final three.

NHL Wild Card standings

The Wild hosts San Jose on Tuesday, the Avs visit Nashville.

The odds still say the Wild gets in, but this is not an ideal way to finish the season, which could be why Jets fans at MTS Centre chanted, “First-round Exit!!!”

“It’s disappointing that we didn’t play harder with a chance to seal it up here, but you can’t get down at this point of the year,” defenseman Ryan Suter said. “We’re sitting in a good spot still, and we just have to get it going the last two games.”

Trailing 2-0 on Mark Scheifele’s first-period power-play goal (Winnipeg’s first in 11 games, and it would score two) and Chris Thorburn’s second-period goal, the Wild cut the deficit to one 7:37 into the third on Mikael Granlund’s third goal in five games.

The Wild worked so hard to make it a game again and then gave it right back 1:25 later. It started with a soft shift by the Jason Zucker-Granlund-Jordan Schroeder line. After the Jets skated through the forwards as if they were bullfighters, Matt Dumba capped a ghastly game by being walked around.

Andrew Copp split Suter and Dumba and slipped a backhander underneath Dubnyk to trigger a rout.

“You can’t have two stick checks on that,” interim coach John Torchetti said.

Once again, Torchetti bemoaned the Wild’s lack of battle and net-front presence. Torchetti noted how the Wild drew one full power play all game.

“That just says it all for me. We’re not gritty enough right now,” Torchetti said.

The Wild, playing without banged-up winger Thomas Vanek, badly missed defenseman Jared Spurgeon for a second consecutive game. The Wild’s blue line had trouble exiting its zone. That led to one line even remotely threatening — Zach Parise-Mikko Koivu-Granlund. Torchetti shook them up though in hopes of sparking the other dormant lines. It didn’t work.

“We’re not getting three of our top four lines going. We’re only getting maybe 1 ½,” Torchetti said.

The Wild returns to Minnesota for two final games.

“We need to win a game, we have to find a way to get our game back,” veteran Jarret Stoll said.

Others echoed that sentiment.

“You can win or you can lose, but as long as we’re playing like that, that’s not acceptable,” Koivu said.

“We have to be absolutely desperate from the drop of the puck,” Dubnyk added. “It’s not there right now. I know this group will find a way.”