Note: I’m writing this mostly because I’m just super annoyed, pissed off and frustrated at what I’ve been seeing frequently; creepy ass white dudes chatting up or getting very touchy feely with very naive Asian women who have no clue about their actual intentions. I’m mostly directing this to my sisters who have been born and raised in Asia and aren’t familiar with what is acceptable and what is not in western customs and traditions. Most normal (by normal, meaning non-white worshipping) Asian-American girls, I believe, can spot creeps from a mile away but unfortunately, I don’t think the girls visiting the west from Asia are as armed with creep radars as much as we are. But in any case, for all you Asian parents out there, PLEASE do warn your children from an early age about this! Warn them as often as you can, in case they forget, because it’s just sickening how much advantage these men take of these girls. I’ll post this in various other places as well and maybe hopefully, it’ll get translated in the future.

When my mom first arrived here as a pre-teen, she was one of those VERY naive Asian girls who just stepped foot into creep infestation. She told me a while back that when she first got a minimum wage job as a young teen, an older caucasian man in his 50s-60s came over, sat next to her and began chatting her up. She stated he was a polite man so when he put his hand on her thigh, she thought nothing of it. SHE THOUGHT NOTHING OF IT. Why? Because no one told her or warned her about things like this. It wasn’t until her manager, an elderly white woman came in, saw what he was doing, and immediately yelled, “You take your hands off of her this instant!” that it finally dawned on her what he did was inappropriate.

When she told me this story, I looked at her exasperated and said, “What the heck, mom?! You don’t just let some weird old guy walk up to you and touch you like that!”

She responded, “I didn’t know that it was wrong or weird.”

Me: “How could you NOT know?! That should be instinct!”

Her: “I never had to deal with these types of men back in Vietnam. You, on the other hand, grew up in an environment where you always have to be on guard. I wasn’t.”

(Btw, the man that touched her was married to a Filipina wife. Yellow fever, much?)

My mom, unfortunately, is FAR from being the only victim to creepy yellow feverists/pedophiles looking to take advantage of naive young Asian women. This phenomenon, that I eventually learned, was much more common than it seems. Go ahead, take a look at these and tell me what’s wrong with these pictures:







Did you say huge age gap? Age gap is definitely a factor but there’s something else. Try to guess what their relationship is. If you guessed the girls are girlfriends/wives to him or they’re bar girls or escorts, you’re completely way off base. Give up?

He’s their teacher and they’re his students. Yep, you read that correctly. He was actually my cousin’s teacher when she was still living in Vietnam and lemme tell you, his social media is FILLED with photos like these. And as heartbreaking as it was for me to see, my cousin (who, like my mom, was also born and raised in Asia and has NO CLUE about creeps) had photos taken with this guy’s arm around her shoulders (she’s not in any of the photos I posted for her privacy sake). Just as a little bit of background info on my cousin, no, she’s not white-worshipping, no, she’s not a bananarang, no, she’s not self-hating. She had only been with Asian guys, had EXPLICITLY stated that she only wants Asian guys, and got married very young to an Asian guy. The only problem with her is that like many, many, many, many girls in Asia, she is VERY naive when it comes to yellow fever/sexpat/white creeps.

But for all you parents and foreign exchange students/tourists/newly immigrated women from Asia out there, DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOUR DAUGHTERS OR YOURSELF. NO amount of touchy feely from a man, especially one that is your father or grandfather’s age, and who is not your significant other is appropriate! NO it’s not part of western customs/traditions, no matter what these guys try to tell you and NO do not try to touch them back because that will send them the wrong signals. Keep your distance, keep it professional and if you have to greet them politely, a simple handshake will do.

Also, DO NOT engage in lengthy conversations with them! Don’t be like this girl! (skip to 23:10):

If he’s following you around while you’re shopping or whatever it is you’re doing and asking stupid ass questions and talking about random, useless crap, HE’S PROBABLY A CREEP. Ignore and walk away. Just walk away.

I get that a lot of Asian cultures emphasize politeness. I get it. My parents also raised me to be respectful of others. But unfortunately, there are a lot of people in this world not worth respecting. Sexpats and yellow feverists are some of them. Why? Because if you engage in a lengthy convo with them, that will also often send them the wrong signals (they will think you’re interested in them). For your safety, you don’t want that.

I see far too many Asian girls giving wrong signals to these guys out in public, all for the sake of “being polite.” Just a couple of weeks ago, my husband and I were taking our dog out to the park to walk him around the lake, when a Japanese girl (Japan-born and raised) gushed at our dog because he was the same exact breed as her dog. She asked us a bunch of questions about our dog and we eventually began having a convo about pets in general. She was a super friendly, very sweet, very polite girl. Later, an elderly white woman walked by, saw our dogs, gushed about them and the Japanese girl politely turned to talk to her. We let her talk to the woman while we walked our dog around the lake. After 45 mins of walking, while we were heading back to our car, we walked past her and that was when I saw it—she was now engaged in a conversation with an older, pretty obese white man who looked like he hasn’t bothered to shower for months. She was talking to him in the exact same manner she talked to us and the woman; very polite and friendly. Except unlike us and the woman, this guy was standing only about a foot away from her, gazing down VERY intently at her, and asking personal questions that had nothing to do with the dog or the park whatsoever. I badly wanted to charge in, grab her arm, and pull her away. She was clearly sending him wrong messages (no stranger of the opposite sex would lean in that close to talk unless he has other things on his mind) and while I don’t blame her directly for doing so, I still blame the fact that she was extremely naive.

Girls, listen. As I’ve said before, I know Asian culture stresses politeness and while that’s great when you interact with normal people, when it comes to a lot of men from the west, you gotta be careful. There’s no way I can write a complete guide on how to spot yellow feverists since they can come in all shapes & forms. I’ve given some examples above of what they’re typically like but in a nutshell, here are the common factors to watch out for:

Not Asian. For whatever reason, they mostly seem to be white but they can be other races too (though rarely).

Ugly. Usually scrawny or obese. Usually old, but if they’re young, they’re usually unattractive.

Greet you with “ni hao ma” or “konnichiwa” or whatever random Asian language they guess you speak.

Approaches you suddenly just to talk about useless bullshit

Stated that they have been to Asia in the past.

Stated that they have been teachers or is currently “teaching” in Asia (this mostly applies to girls still living in Asia but can also be applied here)

And of course, the old line of “I only like/date Asian girls” and/or demands to know why you like Asian guys and/or puts them down and/or putting other races down too.

As for what to do when you do encounter them (I find these help me):