Hey, if we’re going to talk about how presidential candidates treated dogs decades ago, let’s talk about how presidential candidates treated dogs decades ago.

Can you name the author of this quote?

“With Lolo, I learned how to eat small green chill peppers raw with dinner (plenty of rice), and, away from the dinner table, I was introduced to dog meat (tough), snake meat (tougher), and roasted grasshopper (crunchy). Like many Indonesians, Lolo followed a brand of Islam that could make room for the remnants of more ancient animist and Hindu faiths. He explained that a man took on the powers of whatever he ate: One day soon, he promised, he would bring home a piece of tiger meat for us to share.”

Yep, that’s Barack Obama, writing about his childhood with his stepfather Lolo Soetoro in Indonesia, from Chapter Two of his bestseller Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance.

“So what? It was a long time ago,” you say. “He was a lot younger. Customs are different there. He was just doing what his stepfather told him. And hey, you can’t even prove that the dogs were ever left on top of a car, you racist.”

Hey, whatever you have to tell yourself, libs. Say what you want about Romney, but at least he only put a dog on the roof of his car, not the roof of his mouth. And whenever you bring up the one, we’re going to bring up the other.

It’s no fun when we push back, is it? That’s why it’s so much fun.

Update: I know the Secret Service has a lot to deal with right now, but are they protecting Bo? From Obama, I mean.

Update: Obama would never put a dog on top of a car. Dries out the meat.

Update:

Bo’s been in the White House for three years this month, and he’d like to stay for four more. Happy anniversary, Bo: OFA.BO/Ycspyn — Obama for America CA (@OFA_CA) April 17, 2012

Still fattening him up, I guess. Some people think Obama named his dog Bo after his own initials. Nope. It stands for “banquet offering.”

Update: Libs think Romney acted jerky with a dog. Whereas Obama was fond of dog jerky. But hey, like they say: If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. If you want a dog in Washington, keep it away from Obama. Oh, and:

Q: What does Obama do when his dog gets stuck?

A: Grabs a toothpick.

Update: Back in Sept. 2010, Obama complained about his opponents — quite a shock, I know — by saying, “They talk about me like a dog.” I hope he informed the Secret Service.

Update: Tell us all about it, Barry.

Update: On Facebook, there’s a page called Pet Lovers for Obama. I’m going to go check out their recipes.

Update: Courtesy of John Hawkins…

Update: Mitt Romney gave his dog diarrhea. Barack Obama’s dog gave him diarrhea.

Also, Partymanrandy does it again:

(Yeah, I know, cats, whatever. Forget it, he’s rolling.)

Update: If Obama gets another four years, by the end of his second term nobody will care that he ate dogs, because nobody will be able to afford to eat anything else. He’ll solve it the same way he solves everything else: a snappy catchphrase.

“If you like your dachshund, you can eat your dachshund.”

Update: What, a casserole dish?

How loving owners transport their dogs.bit.ly/xGeJuZ — David Axelrod (@davidaxelrod) January 30, 2012

Update:

It occurs to me that there sure are a lot of pictures of Obama eating stuff. And there sure are a lot of people who are good at Photoshop. Hmmmm…

Update: Jake Tapper throws us a bone.

Update: Somebody’s cranky!

What’s the next attack @EricFerhn and the RNC will surface on a 6-10 year old? — Ben LaBolt (@BenLaBolt) April 18, 2012

Obama sure sounded a lot older than 6-10 when he read aloud from his own book with that anecdote, which he seemed to think people would find endearing. It’s too bad Ben doesn’t have some sort of Etch-A-Sketch he can shake to make people forget his boss eats dogs.

BTW, here’s what Ben was complaining about:

In hindsight, a chilling photo RT @davidaxelrod: How loving owners transport their dogs. bit.ly/xGeJuZ — Eric Fehrnstrom (@EricFehrn) April 18, 2012

Update: If you want to see for yourself, check out that page of Dreams from My Father at Google Books.