Unless you’re in the Peace Corps right now, chances are the artist formerly known as Minipundit is having a far more productive summer than you. Coming to us live from a fancy internship at The American Prospect, Dylan reports that Governor Van Helsing, in addition to being a demon slayer, is also Bruce Willis at the very end of Sin City.

Which is to say, if you are a sex offender, HE WILL CLAIM YOUR TESTICLES.

Apparently we’re basing public policy off of bloody pop-culture revenge fantasies now. No word on what this means for the 2008 75 Bars Mandatory Sentencing Act when it gets out of committee.