Gay men’s spaces still thrive, but the homophobic shift has begun to target them as well. In June of 2017, two Boston Pride Parades were threatened with a boycott after gay men called out the homophobic comments of trans spokesperson Juno Dawson who said—“I think there are a lot of gay men out there who are gay men as a consolation prize because they couldn’t be women.” Gay men can call out homophobia and they did, but lesbians don’t have that liberty.

“A binary label like ‘gay’ or ‘lesbian’ starts to feel somewhat stale and stodgy…is it closed-minded—or worse, harmful and exclusionary—if you identify with a label that implies you’re only attracted to one?”—BuzzFeed

A whole generation is being taught that being gay or lesbian is potentially “closed-minded” and “harmful.” But has anyone stopped to think about the harm this homophobic rhetoric is doing to young gay and lesbian people? The Trevor Project reports, “The rate of suicide attempts is 4 times greater for LGB youth…”

When you first discover that mainstream ‘LGBTQ’ feminist media platforms are teaching the next generation that homosexuality is no more than a whimsical “preference” that can be “unlearned,” it kinda feels like you’ve stepped into an Orwellian novel.

“..if you were to say that you’re only attracted to people with vaginas or people with penises, it really feels like you’re reducing people just to their genitals… Gay ‘conversion therapy’ has been proven not to work. But you can unlearn your own prejudices; it just takes time and conscious effort.”—Everyday Feminism

When did same-sex “preferences” become a “prejudice” that can be fixed?

“If you met someone who was extremely attractive, had a great personality, but didn’t have the genitals that you wanted, you might be surprised to find that it isn’t a dealbreaker.”—Everyday Feminism

(Said every parent in denial ever)

“Some lesbians…are still all too eager to write off [people] because of “genital preferences,” which means they have incredibly reductive ideas…”—BuzzFeed

In July of 2017, award-winning trans reporter, Gretchen Hammond, released a statement to the Chicago Dyke March organizers—“You attacked, humiliated and robbed me of a job.” Hammond’s big crime: Breaking a story. Women were thrown out of the Chicago Dyke March by the Dyke March organizers, for carrying a Jewish rainbow flag. Hammond reported the story and was consequently fired. Call-out culture serves to attack anyone who doesn’t fall in line. This was also when I began to compile copious notes, lists of who was writing what and where, who was running publications, organizations, where the money was coming from, who those people were, where they contributed, how much, the changes that came about as a result, changes to the medical and psychiatric fields, changes in law, etc. I traced and traced, and when I finally saw the ripple effect, I panicked. I was crushed with an indescribable sense of hopelessness… The vast majority had no idea what was happening. It was the unraveling of bliss, the kind of bliss that only comes with not knowing. Gretchen reported on antisemitism. But no one reported on the anti-lesbian sentiment—That lesbians, in general, were told not to come to the Dyke March. Not unless they shared the organizers’ personal beliefs: That “not all dykes are women” and “plenty of lesbians like d*ck.” The Dyke March organizers more specifically targeted butch lesbians on the Chicago Dyke March media page, and defended the degrading posts as attempts to uplift “femmes frustration with masc-of-center people” and their “internalized oppression.” This homophobic sentiment is still occurring across the map.

Lesbian bloggers, with enormous youth followings, are often bullied into pandering and apologizing for posts on biological same-sex attraction—which is not something lesbians can somehow fix. Several lesbian bloggers began speaking out on being thought-policed. In 2017, lesbian leader, Lacy Green, wrote—“Bullying lesbians, censoring papers, politicizing research…This movement is unrecognizable to me right now.”

In 2014, Curve Magazine wrote “..lesbians from their 20s into their 70s…worry that inclusion often just ends up meaning that men end up in charge,” but have since changed their tune. At campus ‘LGBTQ’ meetings, lesbians are told they can’t use the word “vagina“—To use “front hole” instead. There’s a growing list of things we’re not supposed to say anymore. At campus meetings, lesbians are told it’s insensitive to bring up their periods, yet in the mainstream we’re now “bleeders” and “menstruators,” and a whole host of dehumanizing labels that have been imposed upon us. The decisions are made without discussion or approval. Those of us who won’t abide by compulsory language, face actual real consequences.

In 2015, Cosmopolitan wrote “..why is it that it’s women’s institutions that seem to be the only ones facing these issues, and what does it say that men aren’t being asked to be as accommodating or open?” The writer was hounded. From the outside, LGBTQ appears unified, but don’t be distracted by all the pretty colors waving in the air. Our letters are tacked on, as though we’ve unanimously signed off in agreement, but more and more, we’re finding, our beliefs and ideologies don’t always align.

“If intimacy with someone who has a penis is triggering for [lesbians]…Take your time to heal and work through your trauma at your own pace.”—Everyday Feminism