Pigeons no longer considered pests following unveiling of Reagan statue

Pigeons have become one of the most revered creatures in the British Isles after their strong inclination to ‘shit on things’ became much admired following the unveiling of a statue of former US president Ronald Reagan.

The 10-foot bronze statue was specially commissioned to “recognise Mr Reagan’s contribution to ending the Cold War” which he single-handedly had virtually nothing to do with.

Mr Reagan died in 2004, aged 93, after suffering from Alzheimer’s disease from birth.

It is hoped that the statue, which has been unveiled at a ceremony outside the American embassy in central London, will become completely covered in pigeon shit in time for the 2012 Olympic games.

“I think it’s great,” said one enthusiastic onlooker. “In these times of austerity, when people are feeling pressure and uncertainty, the sight of Ronald Reagan covered in bird shit is capable of lifting everyone’s spirits.”

The unveiling ceremony was attended by William Hague, who read out a tribute from Lady Thatcher, who also did her bit to lift spirits by being frail and very ill.