Hey there. This is Dunk. Dunk is a trash can taken from the stuff of nightmares and repurposed by the NSA to promote Earth Day.

The NSA is currently hosting a STEM Recycling Challenge in Maryland schools in an attempt encourage students to consider what happens to the junk they discard daily. Now, whatever else there is to say about the NSA (and boy, there is a lot) trying to get kids to recycle is fine. An admirable enough goal. But not this way. Not. This. Way.

Let's take a look at Dunk:

Ignore for a second the fact that Dunk is dressed like a cross between an inoffensive cartoon toddler and a dad who hates when sand touches his feet, and focus on his face. What expression is that? Casually disguised stomach trouble? Drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth? Barely concealed social anxiety?

Why are his eyebrows just raised bumps seemingly molded out of excess plastic? Who is Dunk's dentist? And most importantly: Why are Dunk's biceps so incredibly sculpted?

If, after all this, you need to hear Dunk's voice, you can watch him talk about the importance of recycling in the video below.