Today, June 21, is the longest day of the year. Possibly even the hottest. Left to myself, I'd lie in an ice bath, and restrict my physical activity to pressing the AC remote with my toes.

Complete coverage: International Yoga Day

And this government wants me to go out and celebrate World Yoga Day? It wants me to get out and do surya namaskar? Let me tell you, government, that surya will not be namaskar-ed by me. Not in this weather. Plan the event in December and watch me namaskar the hell out of it. In June, my namaskar will be restricted to the rolling up of a certain finger towards anyone who asks me to lift a finger.

So while the "yoga" part of World Yoga Day is significant without doubt, we know there's obviously more focus on the "world" part. Because if we've seen one thing with this government, it's this pattern of creating random days for others to applaud. Christmas was rechristened "Good Governance Day", and now it's this.

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But it does make you wonder why a government that came to power with record majority in the first place needs to chase the Guinness World Records for the biggest yoga event ever?

It's also hard to imagine just one dedicated day launching a regular yoga drive. Just like no Valentine's Day makes couples ignore each other's nose hair and fall deeper in love.

But I'm not the kind of guy who'll sit at the sidelines and criticize the establishment. As a citizen of this country, it is my duty to find a solution, and arrive at an idea that plugs the holes of World Yoga Day. Something that makes people healthy and happy, something that makes the world like us, something that's equally appealing to all Indian communities. What could it possibly be? Ah, I know. Friends, Indians, countrymen, lend me your bodies.

How about a World Kama Sutra Day?

No, hear me out! I'll explain.

Think about it. Sex, Kama Sutra style, is everything that yoga is, and then some more. It requires your bodies to be in those same contorted positions, and it's something that everybody from a malnourished African to an obese American will look forward to. And our population is proof, that even if we aren't always good at it, we are at least enthusiastic about it. Nobody, from Hindus, Muslims, homosexuals, feminists and Shakti Kapoor will have a problem because, it's a lot of fun!

Oh my god! I'm already hyperventilating. Let's do this, everyone! Let's all fill the roads, streets, malls and parks with our extraordinary prowess and show the world what we Indians are made of. Let's start, and never stop …wait, where are you going. I'm not done yet …Fine, ignore me. Go read Twinkle Khanna's column.

But when you're willing to take revolutionary ideas more seriously, I'll be here, with my copy of the Kama Sutra, laughing my victorious laugh at you. You'll see.

(The writer is a stand-up comedian)

