If it’s psychological war you want, there’s RD Laing’s The Divided Self. Even Virginia Woolf’s The Common Reader begins to look perfect for a sly put-down. Some covers seem to demand their own sections on a greeting cards rack. Next to Birthdays and New Baby we could have Unwelcome House Guests, for whom Simone de Beauvoir’s She Came to Stay would do nicely. Under Spinsters/Bachelors we’d find Hemingway’s Men Without Women, Lawrence’s The Lost Girl and Still She Wished for Company by Margaret Irwin. And for Bores, how about Aircraft Recognition by R A Saville-Sneath? Fireworks, then, but best left in the box.