Hold on to your mittens cats and kittens, it’s a cold one out there. Unless you live in the southern hemisphere like me and it’s hot and dammit now I miss the cold. Recap oughta cool/warm y'all down/up, that’s for sure. This week, the slumber party gets deep and meaningful, Ruby goes on an adventure worthy of Indy, and I milk every frame of Roman’s glorious return. We’re ten down with two to go, and as the finish line comes ever closer we could reflect on the past, like last week’s recap or the entire volume’s at the Recap Masterpost. Done what with the memory lane'ing? Click the Read More below to make some new ones.

Happy RWBY day errybody. We’re up to the final two episodes in what’s been a long strange journey. So many catchy song lyrics, so many bells, so many nightmares about Jaune in a dress carving Cthulhu into my chest which is made out of a pumpkin and then he’s screaming that I got him pregnant and ruined his life. … Just me, then? Well all righty. Thanks to all for reading!

PREVIOUSLY ON RWBY :: Team RWBY, having learnt that Doctor Oobleck is their assigned Huntsman, say their goodbyes to JNPR, Sun and Neptune before heading off on their first mission. They are dropped off in a city setting that’s half-past apocalyptic, and is in that state due to the Grimm infestation. After Zwei’s cover is blown, a pack of Beowolves show up to ruin the team’s happy fun times field trip, but it turns out killing them makes it all the more happy fun times. We learn the Grimm are attracted to negative emotions, and it might be fitting that they show up around Yang, Weiss, and Blake in the midst of their uncertain teen existential angst moments. Oobleck interrogates each of the girls as to why they really wanted to be Huntresses, and each gives a good party line but seems unsure. After a long day, Oobmeister takes Ruby to see the elephant Grimm yonder, the big ol’ ancient creatures biding their time and leaving humanity alone until the opportunity arises. Scary. On that note of despair, the gang goes to sleep, ready to face the next day… Or later that night, as we’ll discover right aboooooooouuuuuut now.

And now, on As The RWBY Turns… We begin on Ironwood gazing out into the distance. Gazing how? Mournfully? Schemingly? Hungrily?

He’s joined by Glynda, who’s here to tell him… SHE’S PREGNANT.

Nah, not really. She’s wondering why he’s up and about this late at night. James claiming his arm was bothering him has no doubt put me on the “it’s a robot arm” train. As such:

Committed. Put a ring on that theory’s finger and went in on a mortgage with it. In serious news, Ironwood reveals that he’s beginning to have doubts about Ozpin. As he well should. Ozpin’s plan to just wait and see what happens does sound make the guy sound a few fries short of a happy meal.

Glynda assures him that Ozpin knows best and that Ironwood’s the kinda guy who does what’s best for the people despite his misgivings, so he can handle being kept in the dark for a bit.

Of course, I can’t help but remember something Monty said on an Afterbuzz interview after we first met Ironwood. Ironwood’s a good guy and would do what he thinks is right. If that something were to be radical and “for the greater good”-y, it wouldn’t shock me. This whole conversation makes me think that he might do something rash without Ozpin’s backing, and that’s exactly what Cinder wants.

I mean c'mon a general guy with a giant robot army who’s constantly doubting his biggest ally is just a timebomb waiting to explode. Tick tick tick. Meanwhile, in a more apocalyptic-y area of Vale:

Ruby’s on watch where we last left her, letting a stray Grimm and his eggs head off unscrambled. If that exact Grimm shows up six seasons from now and kills Weiss then we all know who’s fault it is.

We then go have a glimpse at our sleeping beauties - more like Snow White and Beauty and the Beast and Goldilocks and a Dr Seuss reference, but I digress - and it sure likes they’re sleeping!

So why are we still on this night, again?

Ahh. Gotta admit, I didn’t expect the resolve to pick up literally minutes later. I get that where last week’s episode ended was a good place and all, but I imagined a few more days spent wandering Mountain Glenn and the girls doubting themselves instead of getting right to it.

Admittedly the timing could be because Team JNPR and Sea Monkeys are still at Beacon currently and they’d be heading out for their mission the next day, which could tie into whatever’s gonna go down… Hmm. Point is, Yang asks Blake and Weiss if they’re awake, so they can chat about Oobleck’s interrogation.

Weiss gets to explain the real reason she wants to be a Huntress first, as is the right of the rich.

She wants to honour the family name, and not in the “continuing the legacy” kinda way. Instead, she wants to undo her father’s wrongs and give the name a good, err, name again.

Because her daddy dearest’s done some things since he took over. Morally grey things. Like cutting out dental plans and replacing desk chairs with those weird backless contraptions. And don’t even get me started on replacing the creamers with soy milk. Ugh.

And Weiss finishes off with saying that if she’d taken a job at Atlas, she wouldn’t have been able to affect change. Apparently dying to a pack of monsters would help somehow. Meanwhile, Winter Schnee is probably laughing her ass off in Atlas with her cushy job. Makes me think that Winter’s the actual daddy’s girl. Ooh we could get emotional scenes of Weiss trying to convince Winter that soy milk is not the way of Schnee Corp. Can’t wait. And now, with Weiss out of the way, it’s Blake time aka the best time.

I do love Blake time. We know most of her story already, but a bit of context never hurts. For example, we get confirmation that Adam was her mentor figure and stuff. Folk who have never watched the Black Trailer are probably like, “Adam who?” Plebs.

I gotta admit that panning up to the roof in a ruined building could’ve gone many moon-y ways… But instead we get a nice shot of Adam’s symbol there. Symbolic. Literally. I can dig it. It’s overlaid with Blake explaining how Adam strayed to the path of doing his idea of good no matter the consequence for everyone else.

We learn that Blake joined Beacon because Huntsmen and Huntresses are noble warriors. Which is actually kinda worth mentioning, because I remember how cynical Blake was about fairy tale heroes when we first met her. And she plans to do what with her education? Flash her Huntress badge and hope it magically does good? Poor confused sad kitkat needs a break and to have a kitkat.

And as a bonus, Blake notes how aware she is about how much she runs from her problems. Even her Semblance reflects that in leaving behind shadows of herself while she escapes. Goddamn I love Arryn’s VA'ing right here. Chick nailed it. Always does.

Wow the girls sure are harsh to Jaune tonight. And Joey too. That guy was great! He had an accent that could melt cheese in an attempt to escape, but still. Also hey if Jaune’s Joey does that make Yang Mai Valentine.

Actual author opinion there. Best show. Oh and yeah, gotta be Yang’s turn now! Her biggest problem? She doesn’t know what drives her.

Funnily enough I relate to Yang’s lack of knowing her drive the most. It does at first glance look like her problems are rather shallow in comparison to stuff like upholding family legacies and fighting injustice and strife, but it’s realistic! And Yang wonders how long she can just go with the flow without even planning what she’s going to eat for breakfast the next day. She wants some adventure and is doing some good on the side, so yay? Compared to Ruby, she’s practically lost at sea.

I adore the idea of Yang being a little jealous of Ruby. Well, maybe not jealous per say. But I don’t know. She admires her little sister’s clarity and might be inspired by it? One day I hope it comes back around and Yang has to give Ruby a pep talk about remembering to be a proper hero again or something.

Weiss pulls the “Ruby’s still a kid” card, though Blake’s not wrong about retorting that all of them being kids. Kid soldiers who don’t feel like kids anymore because of it, but still.

Finally, Weiss sums up their situation overall: they’ve all got romanticised Huntress dreams. And they shouldn’t. They have to protect the people first. What they want is irrelevant in the face of that.

And who should be overhearing them but… Oobleck! Poor guy just wanted to sleep probably.

Good talk everyone. GG feels.

Later that night Yang’s taken over for watch and Ruby’s sleeping beside Zwei. Then the dog wakes up.

He heads off for plot advancement reasons, and Ruby must follow.

Yep. Must follow.

She takes Crescent Rose with her, if it helps.

Oh, he didn’t need to advance the plot, he needed to urinate. In the middle of the night? Damn Zwei you might have a bladder infection. Or is he like sixty years old? Maybe drink a bit less water before bed, man. I dunno.

Well this was an amusing little distraction. Best go back inside and - oh wait someone heard Zwei bark.

BUT WHO.

White Fang soldiers. Given the fact we expected to find a hideout of the guys around these here parts, can’t say I’m shocked. Well I can, if paid enough. I accept both bottle caps and cake as payment. Hint hint.

The patrolling soldiers head off to patrol. Maybe soldier. Or patroldier. Someone take my keyboard away from me I’m very tired.

Cue Ruby following them.

Shhh… She’s hunting wabbits. Maybe actually ‘cause you know, Faunus and all. Good one, me. The two soldiers lead Nancy Druby and her canine sidekick to their base’s entrance, and now it’s time to call for backup.

You two are renegades. Turn in your badges and guns right now! And maybe get a better phone service.

Thankfully, Ruby doesn’t go after them on her own. Somewhere along the way she learnt that she needs her team backing her up. I’m proud of you Rubbaby.

Though admittedly I think she’d hope for an army battalion and like twenty tanks as backup for heading into the enemy base, but hey. I’d half expect her to go piss off a Goliath and unleash it on the White Fang. Whatever plans she makes are cut short but a hole in the ground swallowing her and Zwei up.

Abandoned cities, amirite.

In throwing Zwei back up to safe ground, Ruby is left hanging. Cliffhanger. Well, not really a cliff.

She lets go, Jack. And falls. Like rocks. And everyone dies.

Ruby lands hard and finds herself in an underground city.

Abandoned underground cities, amirite. Home of the mole people.

A nearby door busts wide open. Another duo of White Fang mooks arrive.

It’s about now that Ruby realises she’s in big trouble, because she dropped Crescent Rose up on the surface. Uh oh Spaghetti-Os.

One of the goons goes to grab her, because she could be trouble. She’s wearing a cape after all.

Ruby then tries to fight her way out. Go Ruby.

Thing is, she forgot her wand. Awkward. Wandless Killing Curses aren’t possible in canon Rubes, get JoeAct together. That mistake gets her a punch in the face.

Owwwwww. If we ever needed a reminder that she’s just a fifteen year old girl, it’s after she gets sucker-punched by some douchebag. There has been talk in the fandom as to why she didn’t just use her super speed or whatever, but there could be reasons for that. Like maybe her Mana got depleted by the fall? Iunno. Could just be she got taken by surprise. She also gets a boot to the face, which is also owwwwww.

Now she has like, severe head trauma right? I mean, if she got hit hard enough to not have her Aura stop her from getting RKO’d? Yeaaaaaahhh… This series is about to take a sad turn as Volume Three follows her through various mental therapies, isn’t it. Meanwhile, back at the camp, Yang’s just noticed someone’s missing.

Realising that Ruby’s missing gets everyone awake. Way to let her slip by on your watch anyway, Yang. She spent her watch playing Angry Birds on her scroll, didn’t she.

Zwei coming back alone twigs off Oobleck. Their leader’s in stranger danger! Go Team WBYZO go!

Also wow good thing Weiss can speak dog otherwise it’d be way harder to explain what just happened. Elsewhere, Ruby comes to.

She’s being dragged by her captors through the underground cityscape. Must be dusty as all heck down there. But the rent’s good, so…

And there’s also some Paladins doing grunt work. Poor thing was programmed to kill monsters not carry boxes!

Truly the White Fang are cruel beyond cruel. We also see another two goons, huddled around a particularly bomb-shaped device that probably explodes.

And haha one of 'em says “blow us to the moon” why would you do that guys Adam’s probably already left to show up in the finale. Finally, the two guards bring Ruby to their boss. Guesssss whooooooo.

The voice in the train box car - and now I’m getting Terminus flashbacks - namechecks the guard with glasses as Perry. Didn’t get the other guy’s name, but I like to imagine…

That or Mason. Whatever works. Who names their kid Perry anyway. Hippies, that’s who. Or dirty commies.

After Perry reports they found something, his boss wants to know if it’s good or bad. He says it’s a little girl. That gets the boss’s attention.

It’s not Giovanni, not Xanatos, not Lex Luthor. It’s the real boss.

MVP to Roman for just appearing, man. I’ve grown to rely on you, recap-wise, you beautiful man. And for saying that that little girl a bad thing.

Dun dun dun. We cut to:

Zwei has led the gang to the hole, and, more importantly, Crescent Rose.

Welp, Ruby’s dead. Zwei’s taking her spot. Series over.

Or not, 'cause Oobleck’s come to a realisation.

See, Mountain Glenn was an expansion of the main city of Vale. A blossoming suburb it was, but people still had a commute into the city. So they made a Subway. Eat Fresh. And a subway system.

And the reason Mountain Glenn worked for a while is because of that unique subway system and some good perimeter defence. But without Vale’s natural barriers - like seas or cliffs I’d imagine - it was doomed to fall to the wild Grimm.

Anyways, when it came time to evacuate, the people of Mountain Glenn headed down into the tunnels they excavated and built another city.

The cocaine allows him to see spirits, btw.

The underground city idea plan was solid and safe for a while, until, y'know, an explosion opened up a cave filled with subterranean Grimm. To use the Fallout reference, Tunnellers. Hate those freaking things. For bonus horror, the Kingdom of Vale then wrote Mountain Glenn off, entombing them for good. That’s… dark. Love it. I’d hate to find the one guy who survived it all or lost his family to it or something. Would have a chip on his shoulder, that’s for sure.

To cap off the episode, Oob declares its time to go rescue Ruby, and quickly.

Gangbusters is such a weird word. Like how did it come to be. And why. Also how. Speaking of why and how, Oobleck’s weapon also gets revealed.

Of course it was. This gun be good, son. Episode ends.

So what’s on the menu for the next two episodes? Well, I imagine the White Fang under Roman have a plan involving that bomb thing and the whole “underground subway system thing”. I don’t mean to say it’s going to go all V For Vendetta/Batman Begins, but it’s going to go all V For Vendetta/Batman Begins. Also, if Roman’s there, I sure hope Neo’s there. Neo :3. But yeah, RWBY and Oobleck will be doing everything in their power to stop it. I kinda hope they fail. If only for the chaos that will ensue. Because Cinder’s got a plan that might be related, and then Ironwood’s going to snap. And then people die! Oobleck I’m looking at you… Nah. But it’s going to be whacky fun, nonetheless. Although I also have a feeling it won’t be as finale-y as I imagine it will be. Just got an inkling some things have been pushed back to V3. Plenty to recap, though, I hope. Just gimme two episodes of Roman, Weiss and Jaune all pulling sassy faces at each other and I’ll do the rest.

Oh, and there was a World Of Remnant last week I should briefly go into: It was about Grimm, and didn’t tell us what we didn’t already learn in Chapter Nine. But it was bloody and dark and foreboding, so I’ll call it a fun time. #Grimmpocalypse2k16.

That’s all from me folks. If you wanna go check out other RWBY-y things, go to all the old standbys: the Roosteteeth forums (General discussion and the RWBY Vol. 2 thread), the RWBYForums, RWBY Wiki, the r/RWBY subreddit, the RWBY TVTropes page (And hey this recap even has a lil’ page of its own, which is much amaze), and the main tumblr tag. Oh, and the Afterbuzz podcast archive is a great resource for episode recap with bonus cast and crew interviews too. #TrustBanana.

Until next week, let’s do the time warp again. It’s just a jump to the left. And a step to the right. And then some pelvic hip thrusting for good measure. Good times.

Also, Raise Your Weapon.