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Hey, I'm technically an adult with access to real, grown-up money -- I could be that asshole!

The idea behind moving with portable storage containers goes like this: You rent the unit like usual, the company drops it off and you load it up. Then you give them a call, they come pick it up and deliver it your new address. It's just like renting a U-Haul, but you don't have to wrestle a morbidly obese land-whale through a strange and hostile foreign city while your wife unleashes terrified screeches from the seat next to you and countless fence-posts meet their grisly end beneath your mad, roving tires. And it's basically the same price! Why doesn't everybody do this?!

Chuckling, as always, at all the suckers doing everything the stupid way, I rented my PODS unit and packed it up.

But wait, now I don't have a truck to do dump runs, and I always have so very much garbage; yesterday's treasure is today's blood-stained velvet panther rug, after all. There must be another, equally clever alternative to that, right? Yes! Behold, the Bagster:

Fuckin' thirty bucks at the Home Depot!

Shit, that's nothing: That's less than two gallons of gas and a post-dump recovery burrito, and you don't even have to drive into that building where old Chilean men are sadly sweeping photos of their late grandchildren out the back of a trailer onto a pile of discarded