It was a quick in and out.

Notorious Hockey Mom Madam Anna Gristina spent about 45 minutes in custody this morning after turning herself for what was basically a show sentencing. Then came the real show: a rollicking back and forth with reporters in which she and her lawyer called Manhattan DA Cyrus Vance a pimp.

“It takes one to know one,” defense lawyer Norman Pattis said when reporters asked Gristina’s reaction to statements by the DA’s office that she is nothing but a pimp.

“Look at the DA’s office itself!” Gristina agreed.

“She pled out to a sting operation by one cop — who paid 2,000 of tax payer’s money to watch two women engage in cunnilingus,” Pattis added, referring to an undercover setup at Gristina’s East 78th Street brothel last summer. “So who’s the pimp? Cyrus Vance? Sounds like it to me.”

Gristina, a native Scotswoman who is a citizen of the UK, had been promised a six month sentence upon pleading guilty in September to felony promoting prostitution. Prosecutors claimed she ran a $2,000-an-hour escort service and made her millions over the past 15 years.

While promoting prostitution is not a crime of moral turpitude — the kind of crime that’s subject to immediate deportation — it is what’s called an aggravated felony, subject to possible deportation.

“There is nothing glamorous about prostitution,” Vance spokeswoman Erin Duggan said in the written media statement that was blasted by Gristina and her lawyer.

“Anna Gristina rented women’s bodies for profit, which makes her a pimp. That also makes her a felon, and the court has now issued that judgment,” Duggan wrote. “She has no one to blame but herself for her decisions.”

Gristina’s sentence, executed by Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Juan Merchan, exonerates her $200,000 bail and also includes a five year probation stint.

Given the chance to speak before the cuffs went on for however long, Gristina hesitated, then conferred at the defense table with her lawyer.

After a long pause, Gristina — a font of insider information on the highest echelon of the city’s sex trade, and with many axes to grind given that three of her own employees had cooperated against her and no one among her black book of wealthy businessmen and entertainment executives came to bail her out during her four-month stint at Rikers — leaned into the microphone.

“It’s probably better, your honor,” she told the judge, “that I don’t.”

Outside court, she and her lawyer were less circumspect.

“The system is more corrupt than the Mafia,” Gristina said when asked what she’s learned from her trip through the criminal justice system.

“I wish we would have tried this case, and that he had tried it himself, personally,” her lawyer said of the DA. “I think he would be pulling my shoe out of his ass.”