Chapter 5

Full Moon's Light

Ten years ago …

"I really, really don't wanna do this," Gine said.

"I know you don't," Bardock said, "but it's not something you can put off forever."

She couldn't bring herself to look at him as he sat next to her. Instead, she stared at the campfire, its crackling flame bathing the cave in orange light. "Is it? I mean, I've managed up till now just fine."

"Only by sitting out every mission where there's a full moon. You can't keep doing that."

"Why not? It's not like I'm that useful on regular missions; I can't imagine I'd be much more helpful on full moon ops. You guys are okay without me." She wrapped her arms around her legs and pulled them inward. "Maybe even better off."

"As squad leader, I'm not gonna accept that kind of talk from a member of my team. Stop being so down on yourself and buck up. Clear?"

She sighed. "Clear."

The fire continued to flicker and dance. Its heat pricked her skin—not quite to the point of discomfort, but enough to keep her from sitting closer. Too close, and she'd be burned. That was the thing with fire: when controlled, it was a valuable tool. If one wasn't careful, however, it would destroy everything in its path.

That's what this is, isn't it? Trying to tame a fire.

"Look," Bardock said, "I get that you're stressed out by this—really, I do—but I can't let you not contribute whenever we have an assignment during a full moon. You have to be able to help, which means you have to learn to control your transformation."

Gine couldn't stop the shivers that coursed through her. "I just … I hate having to transform. So much. All that rage and … bloodlust. That feeling I get when I completely lose myself. It's all so …" She groaned and leaned her face into her palms. "It's terrible, and I hate it. How in the universe am I gonna control that?"

"The only way you're going to is with practice. That starts now. I won't lie to you and say it'll be easy, but you'll get through it. And I'll be there every step of the way."

Her hands dropped, and her eyes fell to the ground. "But … what if …?"

"What if what?"

"What if I hurt you?"

A hand cupped her chin. Bardock gently turned her head until their gazes met. His expression was serious but not harsh, and there was a hint of understanding in his eyes.

"You don't have to worry about that," Bardock said. "I'll be transformed too, and I know how to handle myself in that state. Whatever you throw at me, I can deal with it."

"I still don't like you putting yourself in harm's way for my sake."

Bardock smirked. "Well, it's not like I've shied away from that before."

Gine gave a rueful chuckle. "I guess not. Just … if I get too out of control, you don't have to be gentle with me. I'd rather I get hurt than you."

"I won't use any more force to defend myself than I have to. I don't mind taking a few licks; I'd get stronger from it, anyway."

"Bardock—"

"It's alright. Trust me."

Her heart fluttered. There he was again, watching out for her at his own risk, like always. "O-okay. I trust you."

"Good." They both stood, and Bardock turned her around so she faced the cave exit. She shut her eyes as he gripped her shoulders. "Ready?"

"No, but let's get this over with." Gine's heart began to race as they walked forward. After several torturous steps, a cool breeze blew on her face. They were outside the cave.

"Open your eyes." She did as instructed. Though it was night, the surrounding woods were well-lit. "Are they open?"

"Y-yes."

"Look up."

Gine's eyes turned toward the sky. The planet's moon hung high in the air—a bright silver beacon against the blackness of night. All her instincts told her to look away, but any chance to do so died as her muscles grew rigid. She couldn't move. All coherent thought faded away; there was only the full moon, its light boring into her eyes like daggers. Her heart pounded, its beating slow and rhythmic like that of a heavy drum. With every thump, her whole body flinched.

The anger was seeping in. There was no stopping it now.

Gods help me.

Gradually, her heart rate sped up. Her skin became taut as the muscles underneath bulged. Her face contorted, and she could feel hair growing rapidly all over her body. As she let out a primal roar, there was no more dread—no more worry about what she would do or who she might hurt.

There was only the need to destroy.

Present day …

Gine's fist impacted against the tree. She reared her arm back, then shot forward with her other fist. Again and again, she punched the trunk. Left fist, then right, then left again. She was in a rhythm. She added a bit more power—

Her fist tore clean through the bark and wood. The tree toppled over and landed on the ground with a loud thud.

"Ah, damn it," Gine said. "Too much force." She looked around. Several trees of varying sizes were strewn everywhere, having been felled in a similar manner. "Again."

One of the training exercises Gohan had given her was to practice her strikes against trees. Specifically, she was supposed to hit them as hard as possible without breaking them. This was meant to teach her how to control her attack strength so she wouldn't cause unneeded damage to an opponent in battle. With the forest's trees having different thicknesses, some gave way easier than others, making it tricky for Gine to adjust her striking power when she switched trees. Many fell as a result. She was getting better, though, and any trees she downed meant more wood for the stove. Either way, it was a productive exercise.

Sunlight streamed through the trees at a low angle, and the sky was a mix of orange and dark blue. It was getting late; that meant it was time to head back. The moon would be full tonight, and heaven knew Gine couldn't be outside for that. With a sigh, she turned from the felled tree and started walking home.

Home. Four months, and she still wasn't used to calling it that.

It wasn't that she disliked her current living arrangements—far from it. The occasional wild beast aside, the forest was a peaceful and relaxing environment. The hut was also quite cozy, even without the high-tech amenities she'd been used to on Planet Vegeta. In a way, the house's primitiveness was charming. What made it special, however, was Gohan. He'd done everything possible to make her feel at home, even building that extra bedroom he'd promised for her and Kakarot. He was friendly, accommodating, a great martial arts teacher, and always a pleasure to talk to. Gine enjoyed his company in a way she had with few others. He wasn't just a housemate—he was a cherished friend.

And it felt like she was taking advantage of him.

A few times, she'd asked Gohan if he expected her to one day find a place of her own. She couldn't simply assume that she and Kakarot would live under his roof forever—that wouldn't be fair to him. The idea of her moving out, however, was one he'd always brush off. He gave so much for so little in return, and, as grateful as Gine was, it made her feel guilty. She didn't deserve that much generosity—not after everything she'd done.

Even so, such generosity gave Kakarot a safe and comfortable home. If only for him, they'd stay with Gohan as long as they could.

As Gine reached the front door, she could hear loud cries from the other side. She shook her head in begrudging amusement—no doubt Kakarot was being as much a handful as usual. She entered the hut and was greeted by her son struggling in Gohan's arms.

"Come on, little one!" Gohan said as he tried to put Kakarot in a onesie. "You need to put this on for bedti—"

A kick to the nose cut him off.

"Kakarot!" Gine yelled. She rushed over and pulled her son out of Gohan's arms, then pointed a stern finger in his face. "No! You do not hit Grandpa! That's not nice!" Kakarot's lips quivered. It stung slightly to see him upset, but he needed to learn it wasn't okay to hurt "Grandpa." Gine had called Gohan that as a joke once, and he found it such a fitting term that it became a nickname.

Gohan gingerly rubbed his nose. "As feisty as ever," he said. "All this time, and I still can't get him to do anything without kicking and screaming."

"Those Saiyan instincts die hard, that's for sure. Can you hand me his pajamas?"

Gohan gave her the onesie. "Do you know something I find interesting? You always bring up Kakarot's Saiyan nature as the source of his aggression, yet you—also a Saiyan—are one of the least confrontational people I've known. How is someone like you born to a race so naturally violent?"

"Heh. If I'd gained one power level every time I asked myself that, I probably could've decked King Vegeta. Kakarot gets his instincts from Bardock, that's for sure." Kakarot made no fuss—and was, in fact, smiling—as Gine dressed him.

"Well, it's a good thing you're here to pacify those wild urges. With you, he's never anything but a sweetheart."

Gine grinned. "Emphasis on 'sweet.' " She nuzzled Kakarot's tummy, and he let out loud giggles. She spoke in baby talk, "You're just a big mama's boy, aren't you? Aren't you?"

Gohan chuckled. "Anyway, I imagine you'd like to turn in early this evening, what with the full moon being tonight and all." Gine had, of course, told him of the Saiyans' transformation upon moving in. It would've been dishonest—not to mention dangerous—for her to keep him in the dark about that.

"Yeah, it's about that time. I'll make sure Kakarot's nursed before heading to bed. Once he's fed, he should sleep through the night."

"It must be nice for you that he's at the point where he can do that. Has to make getting enough sleep a lot easier."

If only that had been the only thing keeping her up at night.

Kakarot's eyes flickered open. It was dark—too dark to see much. Darkness always meant bedtime, but right now he was wide awake. Why wasn't he sleepy?

Was he hungry? He patted his tummy to check. No, it felt fine—before putting him in his crib, Mommy had given him plenty of milk. That would usually get him to sleep until morning, but not tonight for some reason.

Kakarot lay on the mattress, his eyes wide open, staring up toward the ceiling. Not that there was anything to see—just a bare ceiling that was hardly visible. It didn't take long for a realization to hit.

He was bored.

He needed to get out. To do something. Anything. As long as it wasn't lying in the dark, looking at nothing.

He sat up, stretched his arms, and scanned the room. Everything was still and quiet. Well, except for one thing: Mommy was tossing and turning in bed again. She'd change position, lie shaking for a bit, then shift again. She whimpered constantly while she did so. It always made Kakarot sad to see Mommy like this, and part of him wanted to hug her so she'd feel better. He'd tried that once, though, when he still had his basket next to her bed instead of his crib. When he climbed up next to her and woke her up, she screamed in his face, scaring him so much that he cried. She gave him a hug afterward that made him feel a lot better, but he never tried to wake her up after that.

Kakarot moved to the side of the crib, climbed over, and dropped onto the floor. He tried to walk forward but fell on his face after a couple steps. It'd take a lot more practice before he could move on just his legs. For now, crawling would have to do. He made his way to the bedroom door—there had to be something he could do outside.

Once he reached the door, he pushed on it. It refused to budge. He tried again, this time pushing really hard. Still nothing. He kept trying for a while, but, no matter how much he pushed, the door just wouldn't open. Kakarot crossed his arms and pouted. Great, now he was bored and out of his comfy crib. There was no way he could simply fall asleep on the hard floor—there had to be a way to get the door open.

He stared at it for a bit, then something caught his eye: a shiny ball that was sticking out. There was also one on the door that led outside, right? Kakarot racked his brain—now that he thought about it, Mommy and Grandpa would grab these whenever they entered or left a room. If Kakarot wanted out, he had to reach that ball.

He lifted himself to his feet and wobbled briefly before gaining balance. His eyes locked onto the shiny ball. He focused on it, crouched, then jumped. His hands latched onto it, leaving him hanging a ways off the floor. He'd grabbed the ball—now what? He'd never paid much attention to how Mommy and Grandpa opened doors. Maybe twisting would work? He tried it, and the ball turned. There was a clicking noise before the door creaked open. Kakarot grinned in victory: he'd done it!

As he dropped back onto the floor, Mommy let out a groan. When he turned around, she was shaking again. Her face was scrunched up like she was scared. She mumbled in her sleep, most of the words too quiet to hear, but Kakarot caught a few. What did "Bardock" and "Freeza" mean?

He felt bad for Mommy—so frightened and upset. Maybe he should go and give her a hug …

No, he'd just get screamed at again. Better not.

On his way to the front door, he passed Grandpa snoring in his bed. Kakarot glanced at him and frowned; he didn't like Grandpa very much. Sure, the man provided food, and it was fun to watch him do those neat-looking punches and kicks with Mommy. But his hands were wrinkly and uncomfortable. Plus, he smelled weird—nothing like Mommy, whose smell made Kakarot feel safe and happy. If only it was just her around.

When Kakarot reached the front door, he did the same as before: jumped up, grabbed the ball, and twisted it. A giggle escaped him as the door opened and he dropped down. He was finally outside! He'd never gone out at night before; Mommy and Grandpa would always put him in bed as soon as it got dark.

Exploring was going to be so much fun! Who knew what he'd find?

Laughter. Unending, piercing, devilish laughter. It shook her to her core as the images repeated for what must've been the millionth time.

Toma lay on the ground in a pool of blood, motionless. His eyes were open and lifeless.

Raditz was huddled in a corner, crying. A figure loomed over him and charged an energy attack. She screeched, powerless to stop it.

Bardock let out an agonized scream as his body turned to ash. She felt part of her soul die.

The laughter reached a crescendo as Planet Vegeta became a fireball.

"Well, well! Now, that is beautiful! Look at the fireworks—aren't they splendid?"

Gine gasped as she shot upright, throwing off her covers. She panically swiveled her head to check her surroundings. It was dark, but she could tell she was in her bedroom. With a groan, she clutched the sides of her head.

Ugh. Damn nightmares.

They'd gotten worse since Planet Vegeta's destruction. Before, it'd solely been memories of the battlefield that haunted her. Nowadays, her nightmares alternated between that and images of her loved ones dying. The worst part was Freeza's laughter—that damned cackling was like icy needles piercing her soul. She'd heard from Gohan some of Earth's legends about demons. She wasn't sure if they were real, but, if they were, she was certain she knew what they sounded like.

Gine shivered uncontrollably. She held a hand to her chest as her heart thrashed against her ribcage. The stress was too much—she needed to calm down.

Breathe, Gine. Breathe.

She closed her eyes. Inhale through the nose. Long exhale out the mouth. In. Out. She kept this up for about a minute. Gradually, her heartbeat calmed and her shaking abated. Relief washing over her, she opened her eyes.

Everything was fine—there was no reason to be afraid. Freeza was too far away to hurt her or Kakarot. They were safe. She was in her nice soft bed, and her son was snug in his—

Wait, Kakarot?

Gine's heart sped up again. Her eyes had to be playing tricks on her—they just had to be. She leapt out of bed and scrambled toward the crib, where her baby should have been sleeping.

He wasn't there.

"K-Kakarot?" she called out. "Sweetie, where are you?" Gine frantically started searching the room for him. She checked every hiding spot she could think of: under the crib, behind the end table, under the bed, in the covers. But her son was nowhere to be found. Right when her anxiety began to spill over into panic, she noticed the door.

It was open. She'd closed it before going to bed. Kakarot must've …

Oh no. Oh please, please no!

She burst into the main room. Gohan stirred at the sound of her feet pounding the floor. "Gine," he said groggily, rubbing his eyes, "what are you doing up this—"

"I can't find Kakarot!" Gine yelled. "I looked all over the room for him, then I saw that the door was open! Please tell me he hasn't gone—"

The words died in her throat when she saw the front door. It, too, was open.

Gine shrieked and yanked at her hair. "No, no, no, no, no! He's outside! This is bad, this is bad! Damn it, damn it, damn it!"

Gohan slid off the bed and raised his hands in a calming gesture. "Gine, please—"

She pointed at him angrily. "Don't you dare say, 'Stop panicking!' There's a full moon out tonight! If he looks up and sees it, he'll—"

"Just stay calm! The sky was very cloudy when I went to bed just a little bit ago. It probably still is, so I'll go out, get Kakarot, and bring him inside. Everything will be fine."

"I'm coming with you. If the clouds clear up and he transforms—"

"Then you would, too. Didn't you tell me a while back that you weren't sure if you'd be able to control yourself? You know, since you haven't transformed in years?"

Gine paused. "Well … well, yeah, but—"

"Then let's not take the risk of making a bad situation worse. It'd probably be best if you stayed here."

"B-but—"

"Trust me, I can handle myself." Gohan shot her a small smile. "Have a little faith, will you?"

Gine did not like this suggestion one bit. What were the odds Gohan could defend himself if Kakarot transformed? While her son was young and weak, even baby Saiyans were incredibly dangerous under a full moon. The few that'd survived infiltration missions largely owed their lives to that fact. Without training, Kakarot would also be unable to control himself. He'd be consumed by the transformation's primal rage, and his only instincts would be to destroy everything in sight. As skilled a martial artist as Gohan was, there was a good chance he'd get killed going out there alone.

He was right about one thing, though: she hadn't transformed in a long time. Bardock had, years ago, taught her to manage that state, but there was no guarantee she'd have control now—not after all this time. If she transformed and lost herself in anger, she'd probably kill Gohan.

No. Gohan was right—she couldn't take that risk.

Gine took a deep breath. "Okay, fine," she said. "Just please hurry back."

"I'll be back before you know it," Gohan said. "In the meantime, try to compose yourself. Breathe."

He ran out the door, leaving Gine alone. There was nothing to do now except try and stay calm. She hugged herself tightly, staggered to Gohan's bed, plopped down, and started her breathing exercises. Inhale. Exhale. In. Out.

Exploring outside at night hadn't turned out to be a good idea.

First, it was really cold—Kakarot shivered nonstop as he crawled through the woods. Next, all kinds of weird and scary noises were coming from everywhere. Were they monsters? Would they jump out and try to eat him? The fact that he could barely see only made him more scared. Worst of all, he'd lost track of his direction and had no clue where he was. How would he get back home?

Something howled from far away, and Kakarot jumped. He curled into a ball on the ground, still shivering. Now he was really scared. He shouldn't have come out here. He wanted back in his crib. He wanted to snuggle in his blanket.

Most of all, he wanted Mommy. But Mommy was nowhere close by. He was cold. Afraid. Alone.

His eyes became wet, and he started bawling. Maybe if he cried loud enough, Mommy would find him and wrap him in a big hug. Then he wouldn't be so scared anymore. At this point, he'd even settle for Grandpa. His wrinkly hands and weird smell would still be better than this.

Kakarot's surroundings lit up. His crying calmed, and he sat up and looked around. It was less scary now, but what was brightening everything? His eyes turned upward.

The big silver ball was in the sky again. He'd seen it before, but part of it was always dark. Now it was completely bright. Something about looking at it made his fear go away, and he actually started smiling. It was so pretty! Maybe things weren't so bad after—

Kakarot froze. He tried to move, but his muscles wouldn't budge. What was going on? It was like something held him in place so he'd keep staring at the silver ball in the sky. Not only that, but his chest was thumping. Hard. He twitched with every thump. Everything but the silver ball went away, and Kakarot was aware of just one thing.

He was getting mad. Really, really mad.

"Kakarot!" Gohan called out. "Where are you, little one? Kakarot!"

He'd been searching the woods for ten minutes without luck. The trail of markings Kakarot had left was hard to follow in the dark, and Gohan would at times lose it and have to double back to pick it up again. It was incredible how far the youngster had traveled from the hut. How long had he been gone by the time Gohan and Gine woke up?

Gohan felt no small amount of guilt. With his bed next to the door, he should've heard Kakarot leaving. If only he wasn't as heavy a sleeper—or had thought to put locks on the doors, for that matter. Now Kakarot was out in the cold, and Gine was beside herself with worry. She no doubt blamed herself for this, but, given how precious little sleep she'd gotten until recently, Gohan couldn't fault her for not waking up.

Regardless, whose fault it was—if anyone's—didn't matter. All that was important was finding Kakarot. Things would work out: as long as the sky stayed cloudy, there was nothing to—

The forest became illuminated. A feeling of dread seized Gohan, and he looked toward the sky. The clouds were no longer blocking the moon. If Kakarot saw it …

"Kakarot!" Gohan yelled again. He dashed through the woods, still following Kakarot's trail. There wasn't much time now; things would get ugly fast if he couldn't find—

A head of spiky hair appeared through the foliage. Gohan sprinted toward it, his anxiety fading.

"Kakarot, there you are!" he said, slowing down as he neared the boy. He sat on the ground with his back toward Gohan. "I've been looking everywhere for you! Let's go home; your mother is worried sick about …"

Kakarot didn't respond. Aside from the occasional twitch, he was motionless. An alarming realization struck: the boy's head was tilted toward the sky.

Toward the full moon.

Oh dear.

Author's Note (July 14, 2019): Well, it's official. As of this moment, with 171 favorites and 192 follows, I've surpassed the performance of my high-school-age attempt at fanfiction, Synergy in Chaos (a story that—to me at least—is fairly amateurish compared to what I've got now with this fic, and, seriously, what's with that lame title?). I've beaten it in far less time and with only a third as many chapters, too. The word count is getting pretty close, though (mainly due to the fact that my chapters are longer). Things are going pretty well, and I look forward to continuing.

With my last Author's Note, I shouted out a story on this site that I thought had potential, and I'd like to take the opportunity to do so again. The author revan86 has a fic called A Brief New World, which is an adaptation of another MasakoX What If, "What If Goku Married Bulma?" Feel free to check it out, and make sure to give constructive feedback so the author can make his future chapters even better.

Please review.