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Just Scoping Out Some Chicks

I can't even leave the nest anymore without some weirdo staring at me through a Leupold Ventana Spotting Scope.

Hey, creep. Yeah, I'm chirping to you. You got a staring problem or what?

I'm not putting on a show here, you know. I'm not perched here for weirdos like you to scrutinize every detail of my plumage. And no, the fact that you're 100 yards away doesn't make it OK. If anything, that makes it creepier.

So I tell you what: find something else to look at or I might just have to make a special overhead delivery, if you know what I mean. And I've been eating mulberries all morning. The stain won't be easy to wash out.

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