Nobody gets a free pass in life, and that’s awesomely true for a drag queen or anyone else in the LGBT community. But I like to say, “Don’t be bitter, get better.” Because at the end of the day, boys and girls, the choices you make are yours alone. You decide how to show up, and you’d better come correct: the way you look, what you say, how you act and react. No excuses! Get in front of the mirror and own what you see. You may have to drag your fabulousness out of hiding, but it’s there. Pull back the curtain! Show them your moves! Get a grip, get a life, get over it — and get on with showing up your best, most flawless self.

You might be thinking, Sure, that’s easy for her to say. But here’s the thing: Drag ain’t easy. There’s beauty in everyone’s mug and body-ody-ody, but taking care of those things requires a lot of work, energy and effort. Let me just say, it’s worth every minute because the me that I end up presenting to the world is b-e-a-utiful. Right? When I take good care of myself it lifts my spirits, boosts my confidence and makes me feel strong. When someone tries to throw me shade, it bounces right off. I look those haters straight in the eye, keep my chin up and shoulders back. Because I know I’m a fierce queen — and they know it, too.

Showing up with your own fab self is just the first step. I tell my dance students all the time that you gotta be true to what’s inside too. Mama always did what she could to help me to learn that lesson, and here I stand today, drag queen, teacher, mentor, and mother. There’s always more to your flawless self than what others see — it takes a lot to get that good gig. You may look like a glamazon straight out the box, but make sure to let that inner person — as unique as you are — shine through. Don’t be afraid to speak up and say what you think. Alyssa may have some secrets, but just like Martha Wash, I speak the truth, and look where it’s gotten me. Children, be proud of who you are and all the good things you bring to others. At the same time, don’t ever lose your sense of humor. I laugh at myself more than everyone else combined. Because you know what? It’s not personal — it’s drag.

Here’s something else that’ll get in the way of your flawlessness. Toxic people who throw shade or make hateful comments (backrolls? did someone say backrolls?), and judge you for who you are. Never let someone’s clouds block your sunshine. Their poison will infect you and shrivel up every ounce of happiness. Don’t let them! Get that toxicness out of your life.

Are y’all understanding what I’m saying here? Don’t dream it — be it! Every single body can be flawless — it’s all there inside of you. The choice is yours, and I just know you’re gonna choose right. There’s another choice you have to make, and it’s big. As in B-I-G, big. I’m talking about tobacco. Cigarettes and smoking, to be exact. The thing is, smoking will kill your flawlessness. Kill it dead. It takes work to create looks for a lifetime, and if you think I’m gonna ruin all that with the wrinkles and yellow skin and missing teeth that smoking can cause, you are cuckoo crazy. I stay body-ody-beautiful by staying away from the chemicals and smoke that come with every cigarette.

Not everybody needs their wo(man) to smell like a patch of Texas thistle in the heat of summer, but some people do. But nobody enjoys breath that smells like a rancid ashtray, or a wig that smells like you picked it up off the floor. And if you’re thinking, It’s just one cigarette, I’m just going to ask you why. Why start a habit that can ruin your looks, become an addiction, eat away at your insides, and cause all kinds of misery for those around you? Mama says, just say no.

Choose wisely, boys and girls. Being flawless and living a happy life is all about showing up with the best you. In this day and age, you’ve gotta grab life by — well, by whatever you can get your hands on. Now go get it.

Always and forever, Alyssa Edwards (tongue pop)

ALYSSA EDWARDS starred on RuPaul's Drag Race and RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars. She's part of the This Free Life campaign. Follow Alyssa on Twitter @AlyssaEdwards_1.