My 신내림굿 was a success. The initial flight there was nerve wracking since I’ve never flown by myself and had never been away from home longer than a few days. I was wrought with anxiety, heavy doubt, unhappiness, my mind was cloudy and murky.

My spirit sister took me in and knowing my financial situation, she took amazing care of me. The first couple nights was hard. My children gods had come to me, trying to show me how to do 점 with rice and coins. They played by turning the lights on and off the rest of the night. My spirit sister had never had issues with her light.

We went around various markets to buy all of the offerings. It was an easy 5k usd right there. My own (small) temple things were at least 5k, the ancestor hanbok, my own hanbok, and the kut god hanbok were altogether about 5k. Another 5k went to feeding me basically the entire almost two weeks, and the remainder of the money went to the music players, cooks and the spirit family.

My 한복 and 신복 fit beautifully. My strongest gods are my girl child god (who can do everything), my boy child god (who can do most things) and my heaven-fairy goddess (who instructs, guides and leads the rest of my pantheon).

My legs, shoulders, arms, back are all in the worst physical pain I’ve ever endured. The intense and sudden physical activity during my ceremony really fucked up my body. I had to see an acupuncturist/massage therapist.

During the second day, an evil spirit had snuck through into my body and caused even more havoc in my mind. My body was ice cold even though I was hydrated and had been jumping for hours. Spirit mother knew immediately once she touched my hand and performed another prayer chant and exorcism. Afterward my mind was completely clear and my body returned to a normal temperature.

During the ancestor portion of the ceremony, spirit mom brought my ancestral spirits into her body, feeling their pain and speaking whatever they didn’t have the chance to say. Some were able to stay as gods, some had to pass on. We all felt my ancestral pains – a lot of sudden stomach issues, heart issues, and inability to sleep and irritation.

My gods enabled me to stand a pig on a stake over a bag of rice within seconds. They enabled me to dance on top of the edges of a traditional korean pot without breaking it or falling. And then on the third day, I received my gods and certification from the heavens and my spirit family.

I’m a mudang. I do 신점 (god divination), 기도 (elaborate prayer ritual), and 굿 (grand ceremonies). Eventually I’ll be able to do 부적 as well. Everyone believes I’m meant to do great things. I have faith in my gods.