Former Baylor head football coach Art Briles, who was fired in May after an investigation into a massive sexual assault scandal involving the program, has visited a couple of NFL teams’ training camps this summer. Today, he showed up at the Houston Texans’ facility and talked to reporters. While talking about his desire to coach again, Briles made the bold claim that he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever.


“I’ve been in it 38 years, and I’ve done, you know, lived the right way for 60 years of my life,” Briles said to reporters, “I’ve never done anything illegal, immoral, unethical.” He also compared football to a lost dog.

“I’m excited about coaching again, I really am, because you know, if you lose your dog, all of a sudden, you’re looking around hollering for him. Just stay up late at night, looking for him. I’ve lost my dog. My dog’s football. I’m ready to go find it again.”


“I have no bitterness towards Baylor,” Briles said of his former employer. He said he plans to pursue coaching jobs towards the end of the year.


Briles and Baylor settled after he threatened to file a wrongful termination suit that would potentially have opened both sides to discovery. But the summary of the investigation’s findings (the full report has not been made public) indicate football staff knowingly obstructed accusations from reaching the proper authorities, and made life worse for victims who came forward. Briles was in charge of that program. And now this asshole gets to go around pro camps handing out his business card and dropping hayseed bullshit about the game of football being like a sad dog. Football will be just fine if Briles goes away for the rest of his life.

Is Briles clueless or malicious when he talks about following God’s plan as he moves on from a scandal that should effectively end his coaching career? Either way, does it matter at this point? The dog’s long gone. Stop looking for it and go home.