This article is a satire. Happy Not Independence Day!

BEIJING, China — People's Republic of China President Xi Jinping greeted President Duterte and the Filipinos Happy Independence Day earlier, June 12.In a televised press conference by Xi Jinping, the Chinese president addressed the Philippine President and the rest of the Filipinos and vowed to help them uphold their freedom."We believe in the friendship of the Chinese and the Filipinos, especially in this dire times where there's a war in your south and the war on drugs continues to live," said Xi Jinping.According to the Chinese President, China will continue to supply the Philippines with debt so Duterte can continue upholding the freedom of the Filipinos."President Duterte is very much welcome to come back to China and we will give him more debt that is payable by the future generation ten times."Asked if the greeting of Happy Independence Day extends to the Kalayaan Group of Islands and the Benham Rise, the Chinese President said "Luh!" which translates to Filipino as "No comment." —