Legal battles with ex-spouses can get ugly, but one Kansas man is taking it to the extreme. He's requesting to settle a custody dispute with his ex-wife in a "trial by combat" using Japanese swords.

In court documents initially obtained by the Carroll Times Herald, David Ostrom, 40, from Paola, Kansas mentioned he would like to meet his ex-wife and her lawyer “on the field of battle where (he) will rend their souls from their corporal bodies.”

He added this his ex-wife, Bridget, “had destroyed (him) legally,” and kindly requested the Iowa District Court give him 12 weeks “lead time” to source or forge katana and wakizashi swords for battle.

Ostrom, however, is fine not dueling with his ex-wife. He said that his ex-wife can choose her attorney as a "champion," or an alternate stand-in fighter.

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Bridget’s lawyer, Matthew Hudson, responded to the motion by noting that Ostrom misspelled corporeal. (Seems rather odd that that is what the lawyer chose to focus on first.)

"Surely (Ostrom) meant 'corporeal' bodies which Merriam Webster defines as having, consisting of, or relating to, a physical material body," the attorney wrote.

Hudson continued, "Although (Ostrom) and potential combatant do have souls to be rended, they respectfully request that the court not order this done."

While this all may sound completely outrageous, it seems like that’s Ostrom’s entire point.

"I think I've met Mr. Hudson's absurdity with my own absurdity," he told the Des Moines Register .

And while there’s no legal precedent for Japanese sword fights in the United States court system, there’s also not not a precedent. And duels, technically, have never been abolished.

“To this day, trial by combat has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in these United States," Ostrom argued in court records, adding that it was used "as recently as 1818 in British Court."

Hudson argued that the outcome of a duel isn’t suitable because it can end with one or both parties' untimely demise. The outcome of death, Hudson asserts, doesn’t equate to that of the disputed property tax and custody claims.

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Honestly though, that’s not that strong of an argument. Some parents would rather die than never be able to communicate with their children again, so perhaps, to Ostrom, the outcomes hold relatively equal weight.

Hudson then asked the court to suspend Ostrom's visitation rights and administer a psychological evaluation, to which Ostrom responded by admitting his "corporal" spelling error, but denying any mental health issues.

The Iowa District Court hasn’t issued a ruling of either party’s motion yet, but we can hope, dream, that they choose to proceed with Ostrom's.

Zachary Zane Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.

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