For the first time in my life, I have to commute to work.

A brief walk, 35 minutes on the subway, a briefer walk. There’s a train change in there too. There’s also a lot of avoidance of sticky things on seats, floors, railings, and other people. There are so many sticky things.

But mostly I have to avoid falling asleep.

So, because I’m a grown up, I’ve started packing a snack for this morning adventure. Because when you’re eating you’re rarely asleep.

Cue Spiced Grown-Up Muffins.

Chili powder, cinnamon, chia seeds, flaxseeds, protein powder, soy flour, gluten-free – so grown up! This muffin completed an online course and is totally certified mature. With every muffin comes an honorary doctorate. Before you ate this muffin on the subway, it was reading Kafka. In German. Not on a kindle.

Man. That’s a grown-up muffin.

But the Spiced Grown-Up Muffin doesn’t stop there. It also offers only 8 grams of carbs per serving and only 3 grams of net-carbs. This is fab because it means it’s a snack that won’t cause any carb-y crash as soon as you get to work. Side-note/cool story: I just learned what net-carbs are.

And 11 grams of protein? That’s the sort of train munchy that keeps you full til lunch.

We won’t talk about the fat grams because they are good fat grams from soy flour, chia seeds, flaxseed, and tahini and your hair and nails will send me a charming thank you note. Swear on a Spiced Grown-Up Muffin.

Spiced Grown-Up Muffins

makes 12 regular sized muffins



You look more mature already, now gather:

1/2 cup soy flour

1/2 cup protein powder (I used vanilla because it’s what I own)

1/2 cup ground flaxseed

2 tablespoons chia seeds

10g unsweetened cocoa powder (sorry for the unit change, but also deal with it, you’re a grown-up now)

3 teaspoons baking powder

2 teaspoons cinnamon

2 teaspoons chili powder

1 teaspoon salt

dash of paprika

2 eggs

5 packets of Truvia

1 cup unsweetened almond milk

1/2 cup tahini (you can use whatever nut butter, but nutrition info will be slightly different)

Grown ups make muffins this way:

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Spray a muffin pan with cooking spray. Set aside.

Combine every ingredient from the soy flour to the salt in a food processor. Process. You can also just sift these things together. Whatever, combine them and stuff. Set aside, no matter what technique you use.

In a large medium bowl (technical term), whisk the eggs with the Truvia. Add the milk and the tahini and whisk til smooth. Fold the dry ingredient mixture into the wet stuff. Mix until just incorporated to keep these suckers light and airy akin to your intoxicating sophistication.

Fill the muffin tins a little more than 2/3 full. Bake for 20 minutes. Cool on your adorable window sil. Eat.

These muffins beat my protein bars. Hands down. And they’re actually better for you if you’re a low carb/high protein/not afraid of fat kinda girl like me. Let’s all hop on the me-train! They have a nice hearty texture from the flaxseed and chia seeds, and the cocoa, cinnamon, and chili powder combo creates enough flavor to make up for any wayward sugar desires. Top it with some cottage cheese or jam or peanut butter and you have yourself a party. I crumbled mine into my cottage-cheese-and-stuff dessert and the party was legit. My dog totally blacked out and I drew a picture of a cat on him with a Sharpie. Epic.

Note: these would be really good with some chocolate chips. Think about it. THINK ABOUT IT.