Getting into an argument is one of the worst things you can do to jeopardize your relationships. Relationships that may have taken you months to build will be ruined in a matter of seconds. What most people don't know is that arguments have been and always will be a loser's game. You can never win an argument.



You might be thinking,

"What do you mean I can't win an argument?", reminiscing the triumphant times when you were able to school someone for their lack of knowledge.



"You can't win an argument. You can't because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lost it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis (Latin for "Not of sound mind"). Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph. And a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still."



If you argue, yes, you may come out victorious sometimes; but it's an empty victory as you will never get your opponent's good will.



The best thing you could do is avoiding it in the first place. Control your temper and always tell yourself that you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry. Buddha said, "Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love," and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person's viewpoint.

4. Always Think in Their Shoes



In his book "Getting Through to People", Dr. Gerald S. Nirenberg commented:

"Cooperativeeness in conversation is achieved when you show that you consider the other person's ideas and feelings as important as your own. Starting your conversation by giving the other person the purpose or direction of your conversation, governing what you say by what you would want to hear if you were the listener, and accepting his or her viewpoint will encourage the listener to have an open mind to your ideas."



One of the best advice ever given about the fine art of human relationships can be summarised by a quote from Henry Ford, he says: "If there is any one secret to success, its in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own."



F. Scott Fitzgerald goes even further and says that, "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function."



Let's recap, the ability to think in your opposition's shoes and view his or her viewpoint is regarded to be a first-rate intelligence and a secret to success. That's a powerful statement. We are so caught up with ourselves that it's common practice to overlook what others may think. A true leader who have mastered the art of human relationships are fluent in shoe-shifting. Psychology Today says "the ability to put yourself in the other guy's shoes is a fundamental skill of extraordinary power. It's almost as magical as shape-shifting fantasy in sci-fi."



So whenever you get into a conversation next, let's try to think in his or her shoes and ask yourself,



Why is he saying that?



What is he thinking?



Always remember that "a person's toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people."



