"Gingivitis has been eroding the gum line of this great nation long enough, and it must be stopped. For too long this country has been suffering a great moral and oral decay -- in spirit and incisors. A country's future depends on its ability to bite back. We can no longer be a nation indentured. Our very salivation is at stake.

Together we must brace ourselves as we cross over to the bridgework into the 23rd century. Let us bite the bullet and together make America a sea of shining smiles, from sea to shiny sea," he added.