Hi, thanks for coming. Why don't you take a seat?

I know I called you here on short notice, but there's something you're going to hear about soon, and I thought it would be best if you heard it from me: there's going to be more Transformers movies.

Transformers ∞

No, not just one more or two more. Not even just a trilogy. Yup, Transformers is going straight Marvel and trying to turn itself into a connected universe franchise. Uncalled for, I know. But these things make money at the box office and sell a ton of toys, and that's how the world works. Maybe one day they won't make money. Probably not. But hey, Michael Bay can't direct all of them.

Paramount, which is behind the franchise, is currently working to set up a Transformers "incubator," of sorts, where writers will be forced to come up with ideas for new Transformers films, according to Deadline. The studio reportedly wants Akiva Goldsman, the writer of I am Legend and I, Robot, to lead the program, while working alongside Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg, who's an executive producer on the franchise. Paramount is said to want writers to come up with ideas for a multi-part Transformers sequel as well as spinoff films.

Goldsman reportedly won't be writing any of the scripts, just finding the writers for each movie. Deadline reports that Paramount is hoping to get a new Transformers ready for Bay, as well. Bay is currently working on a Benghazi movie, somehow, and has said he probably won't direct the next Transformers film. He's said that before, though, and it hasn't stopped him from coming back.

One must ask: did we bring this upon ourselves?

This is, unfortunately, how studios work now. Marvel's success with its connected universe is impossible to ignore. The question is whether it's possible to repeat. Disney seems like it should be in good shape with Star Wars — people have an unlimited appetite for the series, and it's been hiring smart talent to run it — but elsewhere, it's much less clear how things will pan out. Does Ghostbusters need a connected universe? Does Spider-Man? Or Frankenstein? I don't want you to blame yourself for this. We simply couldn't have expected it to get so out of hand.

Over the next few years, we'll see if the box office can validate this strategy. Sequels are already often more profitable than original movies, so there's a decent chance that it will be. At that point, expect no franchise to be safe.

So get ready for so, so many more CG car-robots. They're coming. And you can't stop them. Unless, of course, you finally decide not to watch them.