Discovering one’s sexuality can be an incredibly difficult and personal experience. Everyone has asked themselves the tough questions like, “How hot do I find that woman?” and “Do you think that woman in that very good blazer would make out with me, theoretically, if I asked her right now?” These questions can be overwhelming, so here’s how to figure out if you’re attracted to women or if you’re very attracted to women.

Take Your Time

Sexuality is a spectrum, so don’t feel like you have to rush yourself while figuring out whether you want to fuck that woman you’ve noticed looking incredible in a pair of beautifully fitted high-wasted jeans, or if you should read into the incredibly graphic fantasies you’re having about fucking her. Take stock of the way you feel around different women – do you maybe want to kiss Melissa’s soft lips? Or do you feel like you’ve never wanted anything more than to take Kiara back to your house and treat her to a sweaty weekend in bed? Either way is totally fine!

Talk to Your Friends

Discovering who you are doesn’t have to be a solo journey. Talk to your friends and see if they’re questioning as well. When they say things like, “That’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” do they mean that because they’re sexually attracted to women? Or do they mean that because their sexual attraction to women occupies a lot of their thoughts all of the time? Hearing your friends’ experiences can help you decide how just how badly you want to date a beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, entrancing woman. Sexuality is fluid!

Have Sex With a Woman

No matter what you decide, having sex with a woman is fully something you’re going to enjoy. Just how much you enjoy it, however, is totally up to you! Ask a woman to have a sex with you, and if she says yes, really analyze whether it was the best sexual experience of your life or the most incredible thing you could ever imagine experiencing. Was her skin the softest thing you’ve ever touched or the softest material in the history of the entire world? Do you definitely want to have sex with her again? Or—and this is totally okay—do you want to find another woman to have sex with? The incredible thing about women is that you for sure like having sex with them.

Don’t stress about figuring all of this out right now. The people in your life will love you no matter what. Like Lady Gaga says, we’re born this way, baby — and that way is being a woman who is sexually attracted to other women.