When even that expensive sex doll you bought cuckolds your pathetic ass.

I thought I’d heard it all, cuckold-wise, until yesterday when a new caller confessed he was being “cuckolded by his sex doll.” Stifling a laugh, I quipped back something condescending like “Wow, I guess it is true these sex robots are on the cutting edge of ‘artificial intelligence!'”

It’s extra funny considering the RealDoll slogan. “Whoever you are, she will never refuse you!” Unless you bought “her” to “refuse you, right? Haha. I’m sure the new cuck in my phone Mistress life was as eager to relay his pitiful saga to a phone sex operator as he was to open the doll’s life-sized box.

How can you be cuckolded by a robot? Well, if you’re the kind of incurable cuck my caller is, it’s the only “sex” you know. Watching from the inferior, limp-dicked sidelines is the only way you can get off. Buying a sex doll just so “she” can cuckold you is a whole new level of laughable to me, though.

Of ALL the things to say during phone sex, a sex doll cuckold story is one of the more absurd, outrageous confessions I’ve heard lately. Luckily (and unsurprisingly) my caller was a humiliation and verbal abuse lover, so I didn’t have to stifle my laughter long.

After one of his sex doll’s dates cums over, my caller immediately cleans out her creamy pussy. The doll is programmed to cackle evilly whenever he tries to put his tiny dick inside any of her holes. If he keeps attempting to mount her, she responds with one of several demeaning phrases, e.g.: “It’s too small!” or just the simple, classic “Ew.”

After hearing about this robot after my own (cruel) heart, I decided maybe sex dolls were pretty okay after all. What do you think??

— A I L E E N

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