THE BIG NIGHT OUT

“It was one in the morning, Saturday. I was in Kilkenny, Ireland – the home of drink – and I was on the dancefloor with my wife and my best friends in the world. We were all crowded around one of the lads, who had just taken over the mic with impromptu gusto and was now rocking the whole place with his guitar and voice. It was one of those spontaneous moments that live with you forever.

I looked around at the happy faces – I was in love with the world, my mates and the music. I was right at the centre of the action and giving it socks! There’s nothing better than live music, and when one of your friends has just stolen the mic, it’s even better. Here I was on the dancefloor, actually dancing – for me, a challenge on its own. But that night there was one massive difference: I was sober, dancing. And so was the guy singing.

That’s right, I was sober on the dancefloor. For a lot of the male population, myself included, even the thought of this is enough to see us scrambling for the exit. Dancing is for drunk dads and ecstasy, yet here I was, arms and legs flailing around like I was having some sort of fit.

What you have to understand about me is that I am of the ginger persuasion – and gingers don’t dance. Don’t get me wrong; I was totally uncomfortable and will probably never be at ease on a dancefloor. But for me, this was the last bastion to fall.

If I could manage to dance sober, albeit self-consciously and with no rhythm at all, my journey was complete. Who would have thought that my life would have changed so much in just twelve months? I had been one year without beer, and now there was nothing I couldn’t do.”

THIS IS MY STOP

“It’s scary when you realise that someone else is driving the bus. For all these years I had been convinced that I had total control of my actions. In truth, I had become a slave to a different master.

Alcohol crept up on me as a fun pastime, but all of a sudden the thought of just one month off the booze was enough to send shudders down my spine. I found myself asking: Why is this? If drinking is just a pastime, then surely I can take or leave it?

Surely, if I was in full control then stopping should be easy. I just don’t lift the glass. It’s not that difficult; the beer can’t jump into my mouth when I’m not looking.

Still, the idea of stopping scared the life out of me. Would I lose my mates? My job? My wife? Would I end up being a total bore? Oh, and nights out and dancing at weddings? Forget about it.

This worried me. But the more people that I spoke to, the more I realised they felt the same. Perhaps the booze was not the happy-go-lucky pastime we had thought. Perhaps its subtle charms were having a major and unwanted impact on our lives without us even knowing. It was time for a change. It was time to regain control. Full control.

I knew the only way to do this was to have a complete break. Not one of these efforts where you drink bottles instead of pints for a week, but a real break. One month was not enough; I had completed a dry January on willpower alone. I wanted full control; to get back in the driving seat and decide exactly how I wanted to act, rather than be dragged around by primitive desires.

SOCIALLY BRAINWASHED

“I knew exactly what was causing these problems, but I had no idea how to stop it. I was knee-deep in social brainwashing, and drinking was part of my identity.

I was well known as a big drinker, a larger-than-life character who was first in and last out of the bar. I had built a reputation among my friends and within my industry as someone who was fun to be around – only that fun involved drinking on a pretty industrial scale.

On my wedding day, my brother joked that, apart from my beautiful wife, there was only one other love in my life – she was blonde and her name was Stella. Everyone got the joke. For me, one drink had always been too many and 20 was not enough.

I was confused. I knew that I was not an alcoholic. I had a great job, never missed a day, and had a lovely family to support me. But I was on a slippery slope.

Some people can ‘drink responsibly’, nursing a pint or a glass of wine all night. But for those who binge drink, that advice is pointless.

I knew all of the reasons why I shouldn’t drink, and I knew all of the reasons why I should drink in moderation. But every venture inevitably ended up as a monster session.

It was frustrating. I’d tried every trick in the book: watered the plants, drank bottles only, then wine only, then vodka and lime only, then set myself a pint limit, then back to bottles only. All roads led to the same destination – the wheels would come off, a monster session would ensue, and I would be back on the merry-go-round of hangovers and regret.”

DRINK AWARENESS

“In order to turn the ship around, I needed full control. Luckily, I discovered mindfulness meditation, which changed the way I looked at the world and brought awareness where previously none had existed.

You can think of mindfulness as mental training. Just as we train our bodies to be physically fit, mindfulness trains our minds to be more emotionally fit and resilient. And like exercise, the more we train, the stronger we become.

Mindfulness is an attitude to life which can help us to slow down, creating space to enjoy what’s happening right now. It helps us to stay present, so that time with loved ones is enriched and the worry of things that may never happen is diminished.

For me, mindfulness was a wonderful way to stay present in the moment, to relax whilst noticing the amazing things that were happening around me that had been missed in the fog of drink and hangovers.

This new-found awareness exposed my habits, both good and bad. I started to notice how much and why I was drinking. It was at this point that things started to change.

My big excuse for drinking was that my profession as a broker required me to entertain. I had to lunch and drink a lot. It was the job, not my choosing, that was forcing me to drink.

This was rubbish and I knew it. When the clients were only having a glass of wine over dinner, I was warming up with several pints beforehand. I would sink a bottle over dinner, followed by a couple of chasers for the journey home.

This awareness exposed the fact that alcohol had become a lazy way for me to socialise. I found this revelation startling. The very thing that was supposed to give you a little Dutch courage was destroying my confidence in the real world. Far from helping, it was slowly working its way into my normal life, making me feel anxious when meeting new people. It was this revelation that helped me to change.”

LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE

“Looking back, I was desperate for an excuse to quit drinking, but I couldn’t find one. I was tempted to fake some impending medical problem to buy me some space to get the monkeys off my back. I felt frustrated at having to concoct lies in order to stop something that was bad for me. I had so many plans and dreams that were slipping through my fingers in a haze of hangovers. From this frustration grew the idea for OneYearNoBeer.

Alcohol was a trap, and an ingenious one at that. So many people we know and love have fallen for its charm. We are brainwashed from an early age that growing up comes with drink. Every celebration starts with a drink. Our movie stars and heroes drink. Beautiful and glamorous people drink.

But do they? Most of the professional athletes that I meet now either don’t drink at all or drink very little. More and more celebrities are going teetotal. It’s becoming cool to not drink.”

LEARNING FROM THE MASTERS

“From here, I started to explore all of my long-held beliefs about alcohol. One by one, I tore them apart. I was craving inspiration for a booze-free life and went on a mission to find it.

This adventure took me around the world and back to university twice to study for a master’s degree in positive psychology – the real science behind well-being. Not to be confused with positive thinking, positive psychology aims to find ways to make ordinary life better, using empirical methodology to uncover what works and what does not.

This provided a wonderful platform from which to build a life without the booze. I went on to qualify as a master practitioner of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), which has been described as a user manual for the brain. This, combined with a love of philosophy, helped create many ways to live.

BETTER

“Once the alcohol was gone, I had so much more family time. I no longer had to sleep all weekend to recover. I started to train again, giving me even more energy. My zest for life returned. Old passions and a love of learning were reignited.

I left my old firm to set up a new business and, thanks to training, went from 28 percent to 10 percent body fat. My overall health is better than at any other stage of my life.

The hangover takeaways and rubbish food have been replaced by simple whole foods that nourish mind and body. Mindfulness, positive psychology and many of the techniques you will discover have allowed me to become emotionally fit and strong.

I am not trying to brag; I only mention these things because I genuinely believe that none of this would have been possible had I still been drinking.”