So you got into university. Right now you’re probably grappling with a weird mixture of being excited and nervous. This is normal. Don’t worry, this will be fun. Below are some of my top tips that ensure that your freshers’ goes as smoothly as possible:

5. Don’t buy everyone drinks

Freshers’ week is a bizarre clusterfuck of people coming together from all over the country, and the world, all absolutely terrified and desperate for friends. This creates a really odd atmosphere that I’ve not experienced before or since, whereby everyone will speak to everyone. Literally. Everyone will speak to everyone. You’ll be absolutely bombarded with new people on your hunt for new friends

But, as every grumpy third year student will tell you, there’s those guys they hung out with on freshers’ week, only to very swiftly realise they had absolutely zero in common. They might be a bit of a dick, or they might be a perfectly well intentioned person; either way neither of you really want to be mates and that’s okay. Well, until you bump into each other in the city centre and swiftly bury your face in your phone.

At the risk of sounding tight, this is why you shouldn’t buy everyone you meet drinks. Chances are, there’s a fair few

of them you won’t even want to hang out with again after the Christmas break. Oh, sure, they’ll call you a legend at the time, slap you on the back and go on about how you’re the ‘big lad on campus,’ (or whatever the kids are saying these days) but the majority of the people you meet will just become casual acquaintaces.

Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t buy anyone drinks. After all, some of the people that you meet will be your friends for the duration of your time at university, maybe even for the rest of your life, and what’s better than a bonding session over a few beers? Also, many a one night stand has started with two horny freshers getting to know one another over sambucca shots at the bar in Oceana.

Just don’t be that guy who blows their entire student loan in freshers’ week by buying everyone a drink. Chances are they won’t buy you one back, and you’ll be living off ramen noodles until Christmas.

4. Don’t fall into ‘only-40%’ syndrome

It’s the mantra that keeps first year students up and down the country out of the library and in their local branch of Vodka Revs drowning themselves in shots that taste like candyfloss, but are somehow still 40% abv. (…apt) Yep, all you kids fresh out of Sixth Form are going to be delighted to find out that you only need 40% to pass the year! And as if it couldn’t get any better, there’s more; your first year counts for nothing as long as you pass, only years two and three make up your final grade.

It’s this that makes freshers the most incessant party animals on campus, and makes them the focus of grumbled annoyance from students their senior. There’s no denying it, you’ll probably go to more parties than ever before while you’re a fresher. Most people do this, and there’s nothing wrong with it. What I will say, though, is use ‘40% syndrome’ to just drink and do nothing else. I recommend joining a society or sports team. And by join, I don’t mean sign up on the freshers’ fair, go to the first social of the year and then bugger off, making everyone in the society one of the folks you ignore that I mentioned in the point above. Really get into it.

There’s a society or sports team for almost anything you want to do at most decent Students’ Unions. Choosing one you’re interested in means you’ll get to hang out with people with similar interests on a regular basis. That includes members of the opposite sex. Think about it. Most societies will get drunk on the semi-regular too, giving you a new bunch of drinking buddies.

Also, you should really be in the library around exam time instead of the pub. Although, I wasn’t, and I know you probably won’t be either.