Chapter Text

I'm just going to knock," Chara said slowly. "It's not a big deal."

They stood right by the door as they had for about a minute now, their hand no closer to knocking than they had when they'd first climbed up the steps. Like getting out of bed this morning, the proposition had been easier said than done.

"Do it, coward," Frisk replied.

"Excuse me? Since when do I share a head with Undyne?"

"Since you starting Alphys-ing out over knocking on a door."

"Compare me to that MMKC2 hater again and so help me I will find a way to end you."

"Bold words for someone who's freaking out over knocking on their Dad's door." Frisk's tone became somehow even more aggressively insistent."Come ooooon, Chara! You can do this!"

Chara scrunched up their face in annoyance, but while they'd refuse to admit it, Frisk's obnoxiousness had put this into perspective. This wasn't a big deal. Frisk themself had visited Asgore a few times since leaving the Underground, and while they never stayed long, this was nothing Chara hadn't experienced before. They were being ridiculous. With a deep breath they knocked on the door, surprised to almost immediately hear a warm, booming voice sounding from within.

"Howdy! You may come in if you like. Otherwise, I will be with you in just a moment!"

Their smile tugged at their face, completely sincere. He always had been the sort to invite just anyone into his home without question. The door was characteristically unlocked and they walked right in.

Even after they'd both picked out new homes, somehow Asgore and Toriel had independently picked houses that were almost identical. Chara could have believed they were in the same house they'd woken up in this morning if it weren't for the atmosphere; instead of low-maintenance decorations and the strong smell of baking, there were living flowers lining every available space and the air was filled with an earthy scent. They could feel Frisk slightly crinkling their shared nose at it, but Chara relished it. They didn't have much in their life to feel nostalgic about, but somehow, that smell, those flowers, that happily humming voice...

It brought them rushing back to far off memories. Memories that made them want to laugh and to sob at the same time. Being a teenager, and a tough one at that, they fought back the slight pressure in their eyes. They knew Frisk was feeling the same physical sensation, but mercifully they didn't remark on it. Chara took only a moment to wipe their eyes, trying to play it off as having gotten pollen in them, before making a beeline for Dad.

...for Asgore. They didn't have the right to call him Dad anymore, after all, not after what they'd done to his life. It still didn't stop the name from springing to mind as soon as they laid eyes on him.

Gone were the royal regalia, the flowing cape and the billowing robes. It wasn't the king of all monsters who greeted them; it was a massive fuzzy monster in overalls and dirty work gloves, looking startled to see the human before splitting into a wide but nervous smile.

"Ah... Frisk! This is a surprise, but I'm glad to see you. Can I help you?"

There was a stiff silence in the air for a moment, Asgore's eyes starting to dart anxiously. It took that long for Chara to remember they weren't a backseat observer waiting for Frisk to speak. They spoke hastily.

"No!"

Asgore's face fell.

"I mean..." Chara took a deep breath. A couple of years spent without speaking to anyone but Frisk had taken a toll on their social skills. They felt a sense of encouragement from the back of their skull, and, grateful, they kept on with more confidence. "What I mean is that nothing is the matter. I came to visit."

He looked surprised but delighted. "Truly?"

"Yes. Unless... it's a bad time?"

"Oh, no!" He said hurriedly. "It is never a bad time. I was simply doing some work in the garden, but I can stop for a cup of tea."

"That sounds nice," Chara said. Their smile itched a little as anxiety threatened to drive them away. They knew their behavior was unusual for Frisk, and despite the other human's encouragement, not following Frisk's usual script was unexpectedly stressful. "However. I was actually... hoping to help you."

If he was smiling in delight before, he was beaming radiantly now. "Is that so? You... wish to garden with me?"

A bit of self doubt returned to his expression, and he chortled nervously. "Are you sure you don't have anything better to do than pluck weeds with an old boss monster?"

Chara smiled warmly, trying and failing to not fumble over their next words. "I'm sure. Er. Not that there is literally nothing else to do. What I mean is, I would like to. Like-"

Like we used to, is what they didn't say. Fortunately the happiness on Asgore's face told them they didn't have to.

"I would also like that very much, Frisk. I will see if I have any, er, small-ish gloves anywhere..."

He did, which for a monster of his size still meant the gloves were several sizes too big for them. But they didn't care. It felt wonderful just to get out into the garden again.

It started with a tour of the garden, both outdoor and in the greenhouse Asgore had set up. He still mostly focused on flowers, but he'd expanded to an extraordinary variety of them. Tropical, temperate, perennial, annual... if it was bright and cheery and could fit in a pot, he was doing his best to make it thrive here. Chara was fascinated by each one, listening to him ramble on about each variety. He was just like Toriel when she got on an interesting subject, though it took a lot less to get her to start talking. Asgore glowing with pride and excitement was a rare but dear sight.

Despite all the new orchids and other exotic forms of flora he was growing now, there was a special area set aside for flowers near and dear to their heart. A broad patch of golden flowers. They found themself standing there numbly for a time, staring at them with a fixed-on smile.

"Ah..." Asgore said softly. "You recognize these."

Chara hesitated, declining to answer. He didn't seem to mind.

"Yes, these were the centerpiece of my garden in the Underground. In my throne room. I grow them here for... sentimental reasons."

He shuffled, clearly uncomfortable. "I understand if they bring bad memories. We can move on, or take a break."

Chara laughed softly. They hadn't even started yet. "No. I am fine."

They weren't. Far from it. Some ancient memories were still too fresh and too raw where these flowers were concerned. They could remember the cries of angry humans, of bullets tearing through their—through his body, remember struggling to take control, screaming out for him to just fight back. It was kill or be killed. Didn't he know that? Hadn't they planned for that?

Their smile was starting to hurt. Sensing concern from Frisk and an uncertain look from Asgore, they shook themself softly, puling themself back to the present as best they could.

"As much as I love seeing all of this..." they said slowly, "...I would also like to help before the day is up."

Asgore nodded thoughtfully, and with a smile he put them to work. He assigned only simple tasks, just some simple weeding and maintenance work, but the labor did them a world of good. Bad memories were all too easy to dredge up, but good memories took some effort. Fortunately this was doing it.

They used to play in a garden just like this, and work on it with Dad all the time. The work would be monotonous to most, but they'd always enjoyed it. There was a simple pleasure in the slow, methodical progress of turning barren earth into something beautiful and organized. Asgore was working hard, easily outpacing them when it came to the actual usefulness of the labor, but he never rushed them. He just hummed happily, seeming as glad to share silent company as he'd been to talk about his work. Chara shared the sentiment.

Frisk was bored out of their mind. They didn't say a word, no doubt afraid of making Chara feel bad about their choices, but they could feel the other human's distaste for the simple, repetitive work. They didn't let it bother them too much. They knew that stopping to appease Frisk was the last thing they wanted, even if they still couldn't quite understand why Frisk was so anxious to share. They still did the next best thing they could think of, starting an ongoing internal narration on everything they were doing.

Narration about gardening for the most part was boring Frisk almost as much as the gardening itself, but Chara tried to make it as entertaining as possible. They knew the other human's sense of humor pretty well by now, and sprinkled in puns and jokes on everything they could think of. The laughter in their head told them it was working, and they could feel Frisk's appreciation even if they didn't voice it. That was good enough for them.

They lost track of the time eventually, falling into a simple, pleasant rhythm until the sun had nearly sent. Asgore broke their reverie with a surprised whistle.

"Oh dear. The time I'm afraid has gotten away from us." He smiled apologetically. "I'd never rush you out, but your mother will probably be worried if you delay much longer."

Chara wiped some sweat off their brow, nodding in agreement. "You're right. I should head home."

They hesitated, as had become a bad habit. "I... this was fun. We should do this again some time."

Asgore beamed. "You are always welcome here, my child. You are fine company."

Chara's smile was starting to feel forced again, guilt and grief starting to hit hard. They tried to distract themself by removing and folding their oversized gloves, but it was still there.

They were still there. They'd had this for real, once. They'd had a father who knew their own name, and they threw it away. For what? So they could die in vain with their best friend. So they could-

To their surprise they heard an incredibly loud sniff, looking up to find Asgore's face a complete mess of emotion. He was wiping tears from his eyes, not even bothering to try to hide them. Chara panicked.

"D-Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry. I-"

"No!" Asgore said it quickly, an enormous hand fishing in his pockets for an equally huge handkerchief. "No, you did nothing wrong. I am simply... an old monster with many old memories. One who struggles not to see only what he wants to see."

He blew his nose with the same force as an elephant might, taking a few steps away to seat himself on a bench. Chara was completely at a loss for what to say, but he continued, slowly and with more control.

"I am sure I have told you this before, child, but... you often remind me of another human. One whose eyes shone with hope and determination as surely as yours. I see them in you every time we meet, but somehow, today, it is almost like looking at an old photo."

He shook his head, head hanging down and staring at the soil. But when he looked up at them again it was with a sad but strangely... hopeful expression.

He was looking at them like he had on their deathbed.

"I almost wish to ask if you remember this," he went on, his deep voice as quiet as distant thunder. "Though it is impossible, I still believe in what your determination can accomplish. And so I find myself asking a question that may make no sense to you."

He took a deep breath. Chara stood paralyzed in fright.

"...are you there?" Asgore asked quietly. "Frisk... is someone with you?"

They were terrified. He knew. He knew. He'd half convinced himself it wasn't real, but he'd seen, and he knew. With a sick certainty they realized Toriel was undoubtedly the same way. Seeing but disbelieving.

"I..." Their own voice was thick. They could force themself to speak only by sheer force of will. They felt a curiosity coming from Frisk, as though they weren't sure how Chara would approach this. It was mixed with a sense of encouragement.

"...I can't, Frisk," they mumbled in their head.

"...I have no idea what you're talking about," they mumbled out loud.

Asgore looked as though the lie felt like the slash of a knife.

"I'm sorry," Chara finished, to both their father and to Frisk. "I just... I just... can't."

Frisk was quiet.

Asgore's eyes held a distinctly miserable look. He nodded pitifully.

"Ah... so that is how it is. Of course. Here I am, spoiling everything," Asgore said. There was still the tension in the air of words unsaid, and his eyes flitted back down to the earth. "Hurry home then, my child. Don't let the ramblings of a tired old monster dampen a good day."

They wanted so badly to take back the lie, but couldn't force themself to do it. It was just... too much. Not today. Not when they could barely choose what to wear without second guessing their every action.

They could feel a somber sensation from Frisk, which made them feel all the worse. Their disappointment was merely the natural consequence to Chara's cowardice, but it hurt all the same. With wary steps they began to walk away.

"Hug him," Frisk said with a sudden tone of command. Chara jumped before vigorously shaking their head, Asgore far too wrapped up in his memories to notice.

"What? I can't do that."

"Doesn't matter. I'd hug him right now. You should too."

"I can't. We're tired, we're sweaty, we're human so we probably smell terrible-"

"Hug him right now or I'm gonna start singing MTT commercial jingles."

It was a dirty trick, but the threat coupled with their already warring emotions pushed them into it. Moving quickly to keep themself from changing their mind they darted back towards him, hugging the enormous monster with both arms. Asgore froze as though completely baffled, before slowly and gently returning the embrace.

They felt almost like the kid they were a hundred years ago.

They didn't want to let go.

Their phone ringing made their decision for them, and they awkwardly broke away from Asgore to answer it. They knew who must be calling before looking, and quickly had a worried Toriel chattering in their ear.

"Frisk? Where are you? It's ten minutes after you were supposed to be home! I-"

"I am fine," Chara assured her. They really hoped they weren't in trouble, especially since it'd be Frisk stuck with the consequences if they were. "I'm sorry. I just lost track of time."

"...I see," Toriel said, sounding relieved. It didn't lose that undertone of relief even as she spoke slightly more sternly. "Please hurry home at once."

"I will. See you soon, Mom."

They hung up, casting a glance towards Asgore. "I should start moving. This was... nice."

"Indeed." He smiled awkwardly. "Er... if she says anything about being late, tell her I kept you with a long and rambling story, and that you felt too awkward to stop me. It will not be far from the truth."

Chara started to protest, but Asgore, still smiling, was already shooing them away. With another word of thanks they hurried out and made a beeline for home.

"I think that's the second time he's tried to sacrifice himself for us," Frisk observed.

"Yes..." Chara agreed, feeling a rush of tenderness. "That is the way he is."

They made quickly for the door, but something on a table gave them pause. They hadn't noticed it coming in, but a familiar framed photograph sat framed by vases of golden flowers on either side.

Two loving boss monster parents nuzzling noses together. Two children standing in front of them—one a cheery, fluffy boss monster child with a smile that was the very embodiment of hope. The other was a human whose face remained hidden behind a bouquet of flowers.

He'd brought the picture up with him. After all these years, the family they shared still meant the world to him.

The family they'd broken. A loss they'd practically rubbed his nose in today. Their vision blurred as they picked up the portrait. Their eyes stung. It took them a while to finally put it down with trembling fingers. It took them longer to feel like they were safe from the urge to sob loudly enough that Asgore could hear them.

A part of them waited for Frisk to taunt them or call them a crybaby, but... it never came. Frisk waited patiently, radiating nothing but warmth.

With another ice cold stab of guilt they realized that were the tables reversed, Frisk couldn't have expected this kind of support from Chara. Back when Asriel was overcome with emotion, had he ever had this kind of support to lean on? Or had he only seen a cruelly smiling interloper calling him a crybaby?

Frisk must have sensed their guilt, because their voice came quiet and soothing.

"He was really glad to see you," they said softly. "And I think he knew exactly who you were, too."

"I can't admit it," Chara replied, sounding shaky even in their own head. "You know that. I just... I just can't."

"I'm not making you. I'm just saying... you shouldn't feel bad. Those were happy tears back there. And it's okay if you cry too, but... make sure there are some happy tears from you too, okay? Does that make sense?"

Chara was silent, Frisk's words almost drawing out the cry they were holding in. But they choked it back, wiping their eyes with a quiet laugh.

"You make plenty of sense, Frisk. Sometimes too much."

"Um. Thank you? I don't know if that's a compliment."

"Nor do I. Whatever it is, appreciate it."

Amusement bled into Frisk's confusion, and they shared another soft laugh that didn't quite belong to either of them.

If nothing else... even if there wasn't a way to recover all the relationships from their life long ago... at least they had this one. A half life wasn't so bad if the other half was Frisk.

Finally feeling a little bit better, their usual smile back on their face, they finally headed at a brisk pace for the door.