Former first lady Cylvia Hayes spoke out on Facebook after federal prosecutors declined to file charges against her and former Gov. John Kitzhaber, calling the decision a vindication but also apologizing "to those I hurt."

"I am relieved, but not surprised that after a detailed and thorough investigation, federal prosecutors concluded there was no reason to file any charges for criminal wrongdoing," she wrote in a public Facebook post Saturday night.

Hayes apologized to Kitzhaber, his staff and campaign team, her clients and colleagues and "many people across this state."

She acknowledged errors in judgment and noted the harm caused by the secrecy of her past marriage to an 18-year-old Ethiopian man in 1997 in exchange for $5,000.

"While I have been vindicated of any acts of corruption," she wrote, "that doesn't mean I didn't make mistakes. My naiveté in getting into such a high profile position without being fully transparent about my past caused tremendous harm."

Hayes and Kitzhaber were the focus of a 28-month influence-peddling investigation after reports she had received more than $200,000 worth of consulting contracts because of her connection to Kitzhaber and others in his office.

On Friday, the U.S. Attorney's Office said the investigation "into the alleged misuse of former Governor Kitzhaber's and Ms. Hayes' positions for their personal benefit has concluded and no federal criminal charges will be sought. The United States will not comment further on this matter."

Here's the full text of her Facebook post:

I am incredibly grateful that after two and a half years, the federal investigation is now closed. I am relieved, but not surprised that after a detailed and thorough investigation, federal prosecutors concluded there was no reason to file any charges for criminal wrongdoing.

However, while I have been vindicated of any acts of corruption, that doesn't mean I didn't make mistakes. My naiveté in getting into such a high profile position without being fully transparent about my past caused tremendous harm.

One of the many very difficult aspects of this ordeal has been not being able to apologize, because, due to the ongoing investigation, I was advised by legal counsel not to make apologies or any statements that had anything to do with the allegations.

So, now, finally, I want to apologize to those I hurt. The secrecy about my past marriage provided an opportunity for the incredible media and political firestorm that caused tremendous harm to Governor Kitzhaber's staff and campaign team, my clients and colleagues, and many people across this state. It caused an incredible amount of drama and stress and undermined good work that was being done on important issues like reducing poverty, reforming health care, addressing climate change and protecting our environment. For that I am deeply sorry.

The greatest harm was to John, the person I love most in this world, and that has been a heavy burden. I truly believe that, given his impeccable career in public service, the false accusations of corruption would have had little traction had it not been for the wrongful actions in my past. I will be forever grateful for John's forgiveness and kindness as we have lived through these tremendously difficult past few years.

When I received the news yesterday that the investigation was finally over, I was very emotional in ways I hadn't expected and it drove home just how difficult this ordeal has been. It also highlighted just how much I have grown and changed.

This experience has taught me how to face deep despair and not be paralyzed by it. I've come to better recognize and move beyond triggers, limiting thought patterns and the terrible mind-spinning of anxiety. In the face of deep ugliness I began to really, deeply appreciate and be more generous with simple human kindness – this is adding such incredible beauty to life.

I've gained so much insight into the huge challenge in, and power of forgiveness. Forgiveness isn't about those who hurt us; it's about taking back our own power and seeing the humanity in everyone. It is critical to healing ourselves and our world.

One of the most painful and beautiful lessons came through surrendering to the present moment. For anyone going through something really hard that they have little control over there is huge power in realizing we can always control how we choose to be in any given moment. Becoming more fully present in each moment is one of the biggest gifts wrapped in barbed wire in really difficult challenges. Another is learning how to stay open to beautiful possibilities when things appear bleak. The truth is we usually have such an incomplete view of what's really going on that we miss opportunities all over the place. Because there was so little that I could control and so much of the work I'd built to that point had been lost I had to believe there was something bigger going on, some purpose behind it all.

And lo and behold now I find myself working with people and companies who are facing identity challenges, big transitions, and reinvention! I'm also working with fellow environmental and social change professionals in developing hope, resiliency and effectiveness in our work – and I love it! I certainly couldn't have seen that coming two and a half years ago. And, I never would have believed I'd be writing a book about my experience with public shaming and expanding my public speaking to include the tremendous destructiveness of dishonest, unethical media bad-actors in our sensationalized media culture. Life really is a grand mystery.

I am deeply grateful for all the people who helped me through this. I want to thank the investigators for their professionalism, doing a thorough job and keeping their work and findings out of the media until ready to issue their conclusions. I also want to thank my team of legal defenders. I'm sure I will never know the enormous amount of work they put into this. Their commitment, compassion, talent and work ethic was extraordinary, all on public servants' salaries. I am truly in awe of the team that came together to help with this.

Finally, and very importantly, I want to say thank you to the friends (old and new), family members, clients who stayed with me, even kind strangers who reached out with love and support. Many of you will never know just how important and powerful your kindness has been.

I am thrilled to be exonerated and very glad to finally be in position to put this behind me and move full steam ahead helping heal our planet and people who are facing turbulence and transformation.

Cylvia Hayes

-- Samantha Bakall

sbakall@oregonian.com

Follow @sambakall