Even if you’re a fan of celebrity culture, you probably won’t have predicted that the red carpet was about to become one of 2018’s most visible and widely-reported protests. But it has. It all kicked off at the Golden Globes, with stars wearing black to support the Time’s Up movement (actors also wore emeralds, apparently to signify hope, in perhaps one of the more myopic, media-bubble iterations of modern protest seen so far this year).

Bafta attendees followed suit with the black dress code, and at Wednesday night’s Brit Awards, celebrities walked the red carpet holding white roses or wearing white rose pins – again, an attempt to show solidarity with those suffering abuse and harassment in the entertainment industry and beyond.

This video has been removed. This could be because it launched early, our rights have expired, there was a legal issue, or for another reason. Moments of solidarity with Time's Up and Me Too at Baftas 2018 - video highlights

Many of those wearing the pins were men – the very least they could do, considering the increasingly high number of their gender being outed as harassers. But for some, even that was too much of a stretch. All-male duo Royal Blood, for example, had to be given a white rose on the red carpet by singer Paloma Faith, who said she was upset about the fact that more men were not carrying white roses. “I put a white rose on one of them, which I think is really important,” she later said. “ I think men should support.”

If small gestures of solidarity are too much for men, what hope do we have of shifting the narrative around consent?

She’s right – men should be supporting the movement. If small gestures of solidarity like wearing a white rose are too much for men, what hope do we have of shifting the narrative around consent?

That’s not the be all and end all of supporting women, though: in some cases, in fact, it can be entirely facile. Aziz Ansari and James Franco both chose to wear Time’s Up pins to the Golden Globes – later, both men were accused of sexual misconduct themselves. Scarlett Johansson even called Franco out during her Women’s March speech, saying “I want my pin back”. Solidarity goes further than flashy red carpet displays, it seems. But the fact is that most men do want to help; most men do consider #MeToo a dialogue. So if you’re a man who wants to help – or a member of Royal Blood – here’s a quick list of suggestions.

Call each other out

I’ve been in a room when a man has made a “jokey” sexist remark – and the person calling them out, nine times out of 10, is a woman. It’s not enough to just think that joking about rape is unacceptable – and, in 2018, you probably should – you have to actually do something about it. The same goes if a male friend is making a woman uncomfortable: it’ll almost definitely be awkward for you, but imagine how the woman feels.

Re-examine your own behaviour …

Do you ever make sexist jokes at work, thinking it’s OK because it’s “just banter”? Ever tried to persuade someone to have sex with you who wasn’t really into it? Catcalled someone? Now’s the time to think about your behaviour. Could you improve it? (Probably). Are you going to? (You definitely should).

but on your own time

After the first wave of #MeToo posts hit the internet, multiple men popped up in my inbox to “check” their behaviour with me had been OK; this was also the case for many of my female friends. Men we’d not spoken to in years suddenly felt compelled to get in touch, apologetic, some probably genuinely reconsidering how they’d treated women, others more concerned that they too may end up the subject of a damning Facebook post and attempting to do some damage control. Don’t do this. It’s great that men are starting to look at their past behaviour towards women, but fielding messages from man after man, essentially asking “Did I sexually assault you?”, can be pretty draining for us.

Ask women questions

Not sure whether something’s OK or not? Ask! Ask your girlfriend if she’s comfortable, ask your mates whether you’re phrasing something around sexual assault correctly, ask women if they need any support and what that support might look like for them. Disclaimer: this only works if you listen to the answer.

But not the questions ones you could probably Google

Basic feminist concept? Legal definition of sexual assault? You can probably look this up yourself, rather than treating the women in your life like a version of Ask Jeeves who’s gone through extensive sexual trauma.

Put your money where your mouth is

The actor Timothée Chalamet had the right idea when he donated his fee from a Woody Allen film to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, the LGBT Centre in New York and Time’s Up. Donate money to causes such as Sisters Uncut or Rape Crisis, see if you’re being paid more than your female colleagues, refuse to buy cinema tickets or books by men found guilty of sexual assault.

Listen to what we want

This is the easiest one, and probably the most useful: listen to what we’re saying, and believe us. For so long, we’ve been telling men how prevalent sexual assault is: it’s taken a movement in which millions of women have shared their trauma for people to actually listen. If you do nothing now, you’re complicit.

• Emily Reynolds is a freelance journalist and the author of A Beginner’s Guide to Losing Your Mind