Share 0 SHARES

IRELAND has become a significantly safer place today after it was confirmed by a number of WWN sources that the country’s top 20 most wanted fugitives will find themselves behind bars in the coming hours.

The notorious gang, known in criminal circles as ‘The Car Rockers’, includes prominent left wing politician and 8-time Nobel peace prize winner Paul Murphy as a member.

Gardaí are said to have leaked the information to the media that they will arrest the 20 infamous criminals in order to allay any fears a terrified Irish public may have had.

“We’re aware no one has been able to sleep after the most high profile incident happened back in November,” Sergeant Felim O’Loughlin told WWN.

The gang’s most sinister attack left a woman in her 60s so distraught that it is believed she has been unable to carry out her job ever since.

“We understand the woman in question went back to work, but by all accounts she’s done fuck all. This is the terror this gang has inflicted upon its victims, so we’ve been left with no alternative but to track them down and arrest them,” Sergeant O’Loughlin added.

It is believed the key information leading to the criminals’ arrests was secured after a special 168 hour, week-long edition of RTÉ’s flagship show Crime Call.

Gardaí are said to have uncovered a vacant car park where the gang practiced their sinister tactics which include standing around a car, and hurling insults in the direction of the car. Shockingly WWN discovered these methods were used by Bolsheviks in Russia in 1917 and probably ISIS.