“I saw Greta Thunberg and I was like, Dayum, if she can do it, why can’t I?”, was the first line that our reporters were greeted with when they knocked on Yeti’s $50 Million Downtown Manhattan Penthouse.

When we had first received the message on our fax machine, and yeah, we still use those, we thought that it must be some prankster. Because, the fax title read and I quote, “Big Reveal to Kick Off your Deep News Blog” and then, in lower case comic sans font below it, there was written “i’m yeti, i wanna do an interview for your newspaper, you’ll get views, i’ll get recognition, say what, let’s do it?”

“He must be one of those YouTubers who plays pranks and then makes a video about it”, said our President. “Or this might be Sarah Green”, he added while lovingly staring at the vlogbrothers YouTube channel open in a chrome tab on his 69″ OLED monitor.

After some research it turned out that the yeti who had faxed us was indeed the real Yeti. By real, we mean, the one who was seen in TinTin in Tibet. The one who had taken care of Chang Chong-Chen. After learning this mind blowing fact, we tracked down Yeti’s residence using our powerful sources and then found out that it was already mentioned in the fax in plaintext. Notwithstanding the delay contributed by our ignorance, we took an Uber and reached at Yeti’s home.

Yeti was watching something on Netflix.

We knocked twice and he walked upto the door and greeted us. After the initial introduction, we sat down beside his rooftop pool and took down the 18,000 word speech that Yeti gave. Yeti ended his speech with, “I’m returning to Everest on the next Monday. Let’s hope you guys will share whatever I said with the public.”

Now, we don’t deny that the speech that Yeti gave was an awesome speech. He said how he cares for his polar bear penpals and penguin peers. He stated how badly he hated the melting of polar ice caps. He also called out leaders for not caring enough for the climate change.

But, the only problem is that we have lost our notes!

I mean, we still remember a few things, like the stuff we mentioned above, but everything else including our selfie with the Yeti has been lost. A goddamn reporter of ours left the entire notes folder at a New York Cab and we have no idea how we’ll get it back. Our selfies too, have mysteriously vanished.

At least, we can confidently state that “Yeti exists!” And that, “He cares about our Planet”.

However, for the skeptical public, Yeti’s identity will continue to remain as a mystery!

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