”Let’s Ram It” is hilarious, cringeworthy, and definitely not going to be the Super Bowl anthem

The Rams are going to the Super Bowl! We’re excited because they’re the hometown team, sure, but also because their success seems to have triggered the Cheeto in Chief. And now the news has brought this deep internet gem into our lives.

Please enjoy the 1985 rap(?) song “Let’s Ram It.”

“If you do it just right, you can Ram it all night,” the group of then players performing the song intone.

It’s not exactly clear if the lyrics were really intended to be so… sexual, but wow is that how they sound. There is also very stiff, uncomfortable dancing around the team’s old Anaheim stadium, a saxophone solo, and guest appearances by cheerleaders with hair teased to truly gravity-defying heights.

Below, the full text of this masterwork of wordplay, thanks to Genius.

Chorus

Ram it. If you know how to Ram it, just Ram it

We know how to Ram it

We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it

We’re going to Ram it. Just Ram it. Everybody Ram it

We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it

Ram it

Jackie Slater

I’m Big Bad Jackie and I’m starting us off

The Rams getting down so nobody’s soft

And don’t you worry cuz the Rams are rappin’

When game time comes we’ll get back to zappin’

We can’t sing and our dance is not pretty

But we’ll do our best for the team and the city

So get on your feet and clap your hands

Let’s Ram it right now with the L.A. Rams

Nolan Cromwell

Hollywood Hanson, Dodge City tough

If you throw it my way, it’s gonna get rough

I like to Ram it as you can see

Nobody likes Rammin’ any more than me

Gary Jeter

They call me Jeter, nobody dresses sweeter

But under this cool is a quarterback mistreater

I come from the end, looking for the sack

I don’t stop coming until I put them on their back

Norwood Vann

This is Limousine Willie, my moves are like dreams

They call me the demon on special teams

I know how to rush from the toes to the head

When I pull the trigger, I’ll knock you dead

Dennis Harrah

I’m a mountain man from West VA

They call me Herc and I came to play

I learned long ago to ram it just right

You can ram it all day and ram it all night

Chorus

Ram it. If you know how to Ram it, just Ram it

We know how to Ram it

We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it

We’re going to Ram it. Just Ram it. Everybody Ram it

We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it

Ram it

David Hill

This is Big Daddy Hill take a look at my stock

I catch what they throw to me and I like to block

I’m quick off the line as I can be

Cuz I don’t want Dick running over me

Jim Collins

This is Babyface, and I don’t yield

I’m a tackling fool on the football field

From the Jersey Shore to Malibu Bay

If you run at me you’ll have a bad day

Ron Brown

This is RB, you know Speedball Brown

The fastest man in the whole damn town

Cars and ladies are a part of his creed

But more than that, I feel the need for speed

Tony Hunter

This is Catcher out to take a walk

With shades on, I can catch a BB in the dark

So now you’re ready and I’m sure you will agree

Ramming is run when you Ram with me

Chorus

Ram it. If you know how to Ram it, just Ram it

We know how to Ram it

We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it

We’re going to Ram it. Just Ram it. Everybody Ram it

We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it

Ram it

Ram it

We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it

Ram it

Barry Redden

Redden here I’m a pumpin’ eyed man

If Eric can’t do it I will and I can

I’m strong as you come, but I’ve got a brain

And stoppin’ me is like stoppin’ a train

Carl Ekern

I’m Carl E, the General of the D

I make the calls and coach the LB

This motorcycle’s got style and class

If you come my way I’ll knock you on your ass

Johnnie Johnson

JJ’s my name, intimidating

Pass it my way and I’ll see you later

I’m quick on the key, the ladies agree

Before you know it they’re Ramming with me

LeRoy Irvin

The Iceman cometh, LeRoy is my name

I cover the corner, interception’s my game

Score more than anybody else on the D

Cuz I move like a cat as you can see

Eric Dickerson

The guys call me Dick instead of Dickerson

I lead the range, I’m the Rams top gun

They say I’m smooth as a runner can be

Even Sweetness and the others are talkin’ ‘bout me

I like to dance and have a lot of fun

When it comes to ladies, want a brainy one

But enough about me we here to ram it you see

If you ram it just right, you can ram it all night

Chorus

Ram it. If you know how to Ram it, just Ram it

We know how to Ram it

We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it

We’re going to Ram it. Just Ram it. Everybody Ram it

We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it

Ram it

If you do it just right, you can Ram it all night

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