(I show my coworkers a text from my mom telling me to walk home six miles in the rain.)

Female coworker: “Wow. That’s horrible!”

Male coworker: “I’m giving you a ride. No questions asked.”

Me: “You have school tomorrow. I’ll get over it.”

Male coworker: “No, you will not. You are getting in my car, and I am driving you home.”

Female coworker: *jokingly* “Isn’t that considered kidnapping?”

Male coworker: “No, kidnapping is forced.”

(He pulls out a Chinese finger trap. He puts half on his finger, and grabs my hand putting the other half on one of mine.)

Male coworker: “Now it’s a kidnapping.”