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Bible Rules

Thou shalt not kill or take the Lord's name in vain, yadda-yadda, we know about that, but did you know there are many more rules that Christians need to follow?

How important are these rules?

- Deuteronomy 28:15:

But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee

Do the rules still apply, applied only to the Jews or had Jesus' covenant made them obsolete?

No. The rules still apply. Jesus himself (in hearsay of course) says so:

- Luke 16:16-17:

The law and the prophets [were] until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presseth into it. And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail. KJV

- Matthew 5:17-18:

Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. KJV

Even in the more modern, supposedly less-biased NIV, it's made clear:

- Matthew 5:17-20:

Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven. New International Version

Jesus says quite clearly, paying homage to him won't get you into heaven. Only following OT laws (will of his father) will:

- Matthew 7:21-23:

“Not everyone saying to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter into the kingdom of the heavens, but the one doing the will of my Father who is in the heavens will. Many will say to me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and expel demons in your name, and perform many powerful works in your name?’ And yet then I will confess to them: I never knew YOU! Get away from me, YOU workers of lawlessness.”





People God Doesn't Like

- Proverbs 6:16-19:

There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

Arbitrary Rules

Likely born of goofy superstition or just a tyrannical need to control virtually every facet of gullible peoples' lives...

You cannot wear clothing made of more than one material, nor plant two different seeds in a field

- Leviticus 19:19:

"...do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear material woven of two kinds of material."

You cannot have tattoos

- Leviticus 19:28:

"Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD."

Worship

You should not pray in public

Only hypocrites pray in public. You should keep your prayers to yourself, in private.

- Matthew 6:5-6:

And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

Public proselytizing will land you in hell!

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven." This is unambiguous... if you go running around in public spouting off about your beliefs, you're not welcome in heaven.

- Matthew 6:1:

Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.

When you do pray, keep it short and sweet







- Matthew 6:7:

But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

God will not forgive those who refuse to forgive others

- Matthew 6:15:

But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

God can't stand handicapped, blemished, injured or disfigured people

God can't stand the sight of crippled people. The blind, the lame, dwarfs, people with funny noses or blemishes, with damaged testicles, or broken hands or feet, crooked backs, or who have scurvy or scabs, or who have anything superfluous must not approach the altar of God.

- Leviticus 21:17-21:

Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.

Sinning

If you are a party to someone else's sin, you might as well be dead

- Matthew 18:6:

"If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a large millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned at the bottom of the sea."

Regarding those who believe differently

Kill those who don't serve Jesus

- Luke 19:27:

But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them--bring them here and kill them in front of me.'

Non-believers must be killed

Actually, it seems if you're even unwilling to listen to the priest, you should be put to death.

- Deuteronomy 17:12:

And the man that will do presumptuously, and will not hearken unto the priest that standeth to minister there before the LORD thy God, or unto the judge, even that man shall die: and thou shalt put away the evil from Israel.

Speak unfavorably of God and you get killed

- Leviticus 24:16:

And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the Lord, shall be put to death.

Religious people should disassociate with non-believers

- 2 Corinthians 6:14-16:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[b]? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?

If you're not a friend of Jesus, you're an enemy

The bible promotes binary thinking, either you're with us or you're against us.

- Matthew 12:30:

He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.

You must not associate with greedy people, gays, adulterers, liars, or drunks

- 1 Corinthians 5:11:

But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

Health and well-being

Prayer cures all

- James 5:13-15:

Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms. Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.

If you believe in God, you can speak in tongues, handle snakes and drink deadly poison without being hurt:

- Mark 16:17-18:

And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

What's amusing is this is one of the Bible passages cited by the Pentecosts, Robert Tilton, Benny Hinn and other "holy rollers" who "speak in tongues" and claim to be faith healers. How often do you see them drinking poison or handling dangerous snakes to prove their faith?

- Luke 10:19:

Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

Whatever you want, all you need to do is pray

- Matthew 21:22:

"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."





Holidays and celebrations

Heathens put up Christmas trees, not Christians

The next time a self-righteous Christian starts talking about "keeping Christ in Christmas", be sure to remind them of Jerimiah 10:2, which says that those who display holiday trees are heathens...

- Jerimiah 10:2-5:

Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not: they must needs be borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them; for they cannot do evil, neither also is it in them to do good.

Respect

The more people dislike, insult and persecute you, the more righteous you are and the more you get in heaven

This is what we call "The Fred Phelps" passage

- Matthew 5:11-12 NIV:

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Talk unfavorably to your parents and you will be put to death

- Leviticus 20:9:

For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him.

Government, Politics and Authority

You must submit to the government authorities, including paying taxes

- Romans 13:1-7:

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. NIV

Lawmakers in the government are to enforce biblical teachings

- Deuteronomy 17:18-19:

When he takes the throne of his kingdom, he is to write for himself on a scroll a copy of this law, taken from that of the Levitical priests. 19 It is to be with him, and he is to read it all the days of his life so that he may learn to revere the LORD his God and follow carefully all the words of this law and these decrees NIV

Religious workers should not have to pay taxes

- Ezra 7:24:

You are also to know that you have no authority to impose taxes, tribute or duty on any of the priests, Levites, musicians, gatekeepers, temple servants or other workers at this house of God. NIV

Money and Wealth

You cannot be in debt to anyone

- Romans 13:8:

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellow-man has fulfilled the law. (NIV)

When you do good deeds, do not take credit for them

- Matthew 6:2,4:

Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

Do not collect material treasures

- Matthew 6:19-20:

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal

You cannot love God and money

- Matthew 6:24:

"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth. NASB

All debts must be canceled after seven years

- Deuteronomy 15:1:

"At the end of every seven years you must cancel debts."

Getting into heaven

We are judged by our works

- Corinthians 5:10:

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad

We are not judged by our works, only our faith

- Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.:

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If you want to go to heaven and have a penis, you must cut it off!

- Matthew 19:12:

For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

You are not welcome in heaven if you drink, are "sexually immoral", worship idols, are a male prostitute, steal, are greedy, drunk, slander or cheat people

- 1 Corinthians 6:9-10:

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. NIV

God does not like male genital problems

- Deuteronomy 23:1:

No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.





Pets don't go to heaven

- ECC 3:21:

Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?

- Psalms 49:12-15:

Nevertheless man being in honour abideth not: he is like the beasts that perish.This their way is their folly: yet their posterity approve their sayings. Selah.Like sheep they are laid in the grave; death shall feed on them; and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning; and their beauty shall consume in the grave from their dwelling. But God will redeem my soul from the power of the grave: for he shall receive me.

Work and the Sabbath

Work on Sunday, even pick up some sticks, and you should be stoned to death!

- Numbers 15:32-35:

And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day. And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation. And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him. And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp.

- Exodus 35:2:

Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the LORD: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death.

Not only are you not allowed to work on the sabbath, but you cannot cause anyone, servant nor animal to work

- Deuteronomy 5:14:

the seventh day is a sabbath of the LORD your God; in it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant or your ox or your donkey or any of your cattle or your sojourner who stays with you, so that your male servant and your female servant may rest as well as you.

You are not allowed to build a fire on the sabbath

- Exodus 35:3:

You shall not kindle a fire in any of your dwellings on the sabbath day.

Slaves must submit themselves to their masters regardless of how cruel they may be

- 1 Peter 2:18:

Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh.

Take slaves from foreign lands, but also tourists in your town

- Leviticus 25:44-45:

Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property.

Lust

Engage in a male homosexuality and you'll be put to death

- Leviticus 20:13:

If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death.

Lust and looking at a woman is the same as adultery

The old adage, "Look but don't touch" doesn't apply to Christians. Even looking is an abomination.

- Matthew 5:28:

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Sleep with a woman on her period and you both shall be banished from the community

- Leviticus 20:18:

"If a man lies with a woman during her sickness and uncovers her nakedness, he has discovered her flow, and she has uncovered the flow of her blood. Both of them shall be cut off from her people."

No masturbation, or even pulling out during sex

The bible god has zero tolerance for people who engage in sex outside the objective of procreation.

- Genesis 38:9-10:

Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also.

Marriage

If your wife is not a virgin at the time of her marriage, she's a whore and must be stoned to death

- Deuteronomy 22:13-21:

If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days. But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

Divorce is not permissible

- Matthew 19:6:

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

- Mark 10:6-9:

But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. NIV

Ok, maybe you can divorce but women can't re-marry, only get back together with her original husband

- 1 Corinthians 7:10-11:

A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. NIV

Re-Marrying is adulterous

- Matthew 10:10-12:

When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." NIV

- Mark 10:22:

Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery.

- Luke 16:18:

Whosoever putteth away his wife and marrieth another, committeth adultery.

Having an atheist wife or husband is not grounds for divorce

- 1 Corinthians 7:12-14:

If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. NIV

Bastard children and their decendants burn in hell

The bible makes it quite clear that children born out of wedlock cannot get into heaven, and neither can the next ten generations of their progeny. Have you looked at your family tree? What are the odds that most Christians have some bastard relative in the past ten generations?

- Deuteronomy 23:2:

"A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation."

A married man must take a year off from work

- Deuteronomy 24:5:

When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.

Wives must do "everything" their husband demands

- Ephesians 5:22-24:

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

The only legitimate reason for a divorce is if your wife wasn't a virgin

Added bonus: if you marry a divorced woman who wasn't a virgin, you also commit adultery.

- Matthew 5:31:

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

A widowed woman without children must marry her husband's brother

If a man dies before his wife has a child, then the widow must marry her husband's brother -- whether she likes him or not, and whether she wants to or not. If the he refuses to "go in unto" his dead brother's wife, the she must loosen his shoe and spit in his face.

- Deuternomy 25:5:

If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her husband's brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of an husband's brother unto her. 25:5-10 If a man dies before his wife has a child, then the widow must marry her husband's brother -- whether she likes him or not, and whether she wants to or not. If the he refuses to "go in unto" his dead brother's wife, the she must loosen his shoe and spit in his face. 25:6 And it shall be, that the firstborn which she beareth shall succeed in the name of his brother which is dead, that his name be not put out of Israel. 25:7 And if the man like not to take his brother's wife, then let his brother's wife go up to the gate unto the elders, and say, My husband's brother refuseth to raise up unto his brother a name in Israel, he will not perform the duty of my husband's brother. 25:8 Then the elders of his city shall call him, and speak unto him: and if he stand to it, and say, I like not to take her; 25:9 Then shall his brother's wife come unto him in the presence of the elders, and loose his shoe from off his foot, and spit in his face, and shall answer and say, So shall it be done unto that man that will not build up his brother's house.

Personal Grooming

You cannot wear clothing made of two different fibers

- Leviticus 19:19:

Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.

Long hair is a disgrace

- 1 Cor 11:14:

Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?

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Do not trim hair at the sides, sideburns or beards

- Leviticus 19:27:

"Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard."

Smoothliness is next to godliness, no hairy underarms or pubes

If your woman exposes herself, she should be shaved. I guess a 'Brazillion' is not out of the question!

- 1 Cor 11:6:

For if a woman is not covered, let her also be shorn.

And remember, there is nothing more evil than.. stubble!

- Mal 4:1:

"All that do wickedly shall be stubble."







Stay away from women on their period!

- Leviticus 15:19:

And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even. And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean. And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even. And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even. And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even.

Punishment

If a woman grabs her husband by the testicles, cut off her hand

No pity or remorse. If she grabs you by the balls, she loses her hand.

- Deuternomy 25:11:

When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets: "Thine eye shall not pity her." If two men fight and the wife of one grabs the "secrets" of the other, "then thou shalt cut off her hand" and "thine eye shall not pity her."

If someone sues you for the shirt off your back, also give them your coat

- Matthew 5:40:

And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.

Disobedient children must be killed

- Mark 7:10:

For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death

Dietary Laws

You cannot consume any type of Blood

Jehova's Witnesses refuse blood transfusions because of the Bible

- Leviticus 17:10:

And whatsoever man there be of the house of Israel, or of the strangers that sojourn among you, that eateth any manner of blood; I will even set my face against that soul that eateth blood, and will cut him off from among his people.

A fundamental doctrine of the Jehovah’s Witnesses teaches that the Bible prohibits consumption, storage and transfusion of blood, including in cases of emergency. This doctrine was introduced in 1945. In 1964, Jehovah’s Witnesses were prohibited from obtaining transfusions for pets, from using fertilizer containing blood, and were even encouraged to write to dog food manufacturers to verify that their products were blood-free. Later that year, Jehovah’s Witnesses doctors and nurses were instructed to withhold blood transfusions from fellow Jehovah’s Witnesses.

No pork

- Leviticus 11:8:

You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you.

You cannot eat any animal fat

It seems pretty definitive, for all time, no fat nor blood.

- Leviticus 3:17:

It shall be a perpetual statute for your generations throughout all your dwellings, that ye eat neither fat nor blood.

You cannot plant different kinds of seeds next to each other in a garden

- Leviticus 19:19:

Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.

If it moves, you can eat it!

- Genesis 9:3:

Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.

Women's Rights (or lack-thereof)

Woman was created to serve man

The bible makes it quite clear, the role of women:

- I Corinthians 11:8-9:

For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

Women are not allowed to speak in church

- I Corinthians 14:34-35:

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Women must dress modestly and discreetly, with plain hair and no fancy jewelry

- 1 Timothly 2:9:

Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.

Women are to not teach nor speak, and never have authority over men

- 1 Tim 2:12:

But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

Women are forbidden to show their hair and should cover their heads unless they're bald

- I Corinthians 11:6:

So if a woman does not cover her head, she should cut off her hair. If it is a disgrace for a woman to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her own head. ISV

Women are worth half as much as men

- Leviticus 27:1-7:

"And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When a man shall make a singular vow, the persons shall be for the Lord by thy estimation. And thy estimation shall be of the male from twenty years old even unto sixty years old, even thy estimation shall be fifty shekels of silver, after the shekel of the sanctuary. And if it be a female,then thy estimation shall be thirty shekels. And if it be from five years old even unto twenty years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male twenty shekels, and for the female ten shekels. And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver. And if it be from sixty years old and above; if it be a male, then thy estimation shall be fifteen shekels, and for the female ten shekels."

Women are considered property

- Exodus 20:17:

"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's."

Women are twice as unclean as men

- Leviticus 12:1-5:

And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean... But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks...

Family Values, Obedience, Submission & Control

Want to be Jesus' disciple? Hate yourself and your family.

- Luke 14:26:

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters, as well as his own life, he can't be my disciple.

It's OK to sell your daughter into slavery

- Exodus 21:7:

If a man sells his daughter as a female slave, she is not to go free as the male slaves do NASB

Resist God and be damned

Christians have cited numerous bible references to justify various types of conquest and control over others. If you "resisteth" God's messengers, you get what you deserve:

- Romans 13:2:

"Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation."

God says take what you want from heathens

Ask God and he'll give you whatever you want from the "heathens" - God says it's your inheritance:

- Psalms 2:8:

"Ask of me, and I shall give thee, the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession."

God doesn't care if you're a slave: Being "born again" does not release the shackles of slavery to man

- 1 Corinthians 7:21-24:

Were you a slave when you were called? Don't let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to. NIV

Common sense

The bible is not open to interpretation

- 2 Peter 1:20-21:

Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake [as they were] moved by the Holy Ghost. KJV

You should not think

God does not want you to think, because if you use your brain, you might realize not everything is in absolutes: good/evil, black/white. Anything other than yes/no is evil.

- Matthew 5:36-37:

Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black. But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

Abandon Childish Ways

Interestingly enough, it could be argued the bible refutes its own arbitrary authority in many ways, including this passage:

- 1 Corinthians 13:11:

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Prophesy

Jesus will return during the lives of the prophets:

Jesus makes it quite clear.. he will return during the lives of the writers of the Gospels:

- Matthew 24:34:

Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.

- Luke 21:32:

Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass away, till all be fulfilled.





Jesus will return and anyone who offends him will be burned alive

- Matthew 13:41-42:

The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.

You are not allowed to consult with psychics

- Leviticus 19:31:

Do not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God.

- Leviticus 20:6:

As for the person who turns to mediums and to spiritists, to play the harlot after them, I will also set My face against that person and will cut him off from among his people.