As you already know so well, the forthcoming release of Serious Sam 3: BFE is being accompanied by some specially commissioned indie games based on the Sam license. Already out is the demo for Kamikaze Attack, and coming soon is Serious Sam Double D. We have ourselves an almost-finished copy of that game, so I’m going to describe the first couple of stages to you in things called words and pictures.

Well, I think mostly pictures.

I could describe the game to you in those old-fashioned words, but it really doesn’t do it justice. Double D is a game that really embraces the spirit of Sam, combining developer Mommy’s Best Games‘ previous hit, Weapon Of Choice, with the braindead endless action of Mr Serious.

I could tell you about the gun stacking system, where weapons can be joined into lunatic towers of six, letting you create your own combinations of shotguns, missile launchers, chainsaws, tommy-guns and rifles. I could describe the pure insanity of the enemies, from vuvuzela-playing stacks of pancakes, to the Femikazes – headless women holding bombs to protect their topless modesty. It would make sense to make it clear that there are dozens of secret passages, hidden bonuses, extra modes of play, and huge, idiotic bosses.

You might want me to explain how you can have as many as eight stacks of six weapons to choose between, with the option to redesign them at any point. It could be useful for me to pass on that keeping explosive weapons in a stack separate from melee, or regular guns, is often advisable, meaning you can change to the correct arsenal for the occasion. And one could argue it’s sensible to pass on that ammo is supplied plentifully, meaning there’s never anything as boring as worrying about reserving a particular resource.

Some people may think it important that I explain the game regularly saves for you, but lets you quicksave at any point too, meaning there’s never any tedious retreading of ground to reach a particular boss, because that just wouldn’t be in keeping with the theme of the game.

But really, honestly, it’s better to just look at it. Please do click on all the images to appreciate them properly.

Things start with just one gun:

Then add another:

Stick on a chainsaw:

And welcome in the vuvuzela playing pancakes!

The gender-equality-balancing Femikaze:

Obviously a giant monkey:

And then head 100,000,000 years into the past:

The alpha code crashed at this point. I’m kind of grateful: