Chapter Text

Jack’s arms were crossed over his eyes and he sighed out loud. “You know, I never have finished it.”



“Finished what?”



“ A Christmas Carol.”



“Why’s that?”



He moved his arms and sat up, turning so he was facing De Silva. Resting his elbows on his knees, he put his chin on his paws. . “It’s not like I haven’t tried. I always get about half-way through it and then, just...can’t watch the rest. I start thinking of Megan and...yeah.” His eyes drifted down, focusing on the rug in the middle of the floor.



De Silva cleared her throat, and he looked up to find her smiling at him. Her brown eyes were sympathetic. “It’s probably a trigger for you, then.”



“Trigger?” He snorted and rolled his eyes. “Miss De Silva, I do not get triggered--”



“No, no, that’s not what I mean.” She sat up, tucking her legs under her. “‘Trigger’ is a word recognized in the scientific and psychology communities, and we use it for it’s actual meaning.” She chewed on her lip for a moment. “It’s something, a smell or a place or a sound, that brings you back to a bad time in your life. It makes you anxious, and it triggers a type of reflex in you.”



“Like fight or flight?”



She snapped her fingers, smiling at him. “Yes. But there’s also a third reaction.” She tilted her head, her eyes soft. “Freeze.”



There was silence between them for a moment, and Jack raised a brow at her. “And? What does that have to do with me?”



“Well, like I said, the play is a trigger for you. When you get to that certain part of it, it sets off that reaction in you that makes you turn it off, right?”



“Right.”



The capybara nodded, writing something down on her clipboard before looking back up at him. “Do you want to continue or do you need a break?”



Jack shook his head, sitting back against the couch. “No, let’s keep going.”



She nodded, getting comfortable on the loveseat again. “What happened after your sister was abducted?”



He leaned his head back to look up at the ceiling, taking notice of the boards along it. Same mahogany as the door. Curious. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, one paw grasping his shirt over where his heart was. Then he slowly let it out.



“The next few weeks were… well, shit, to put it bluntly. There was a media storm; every channel on the telly and low-life reporter wanted to get the story of the poor orphan whose sister had been taken on Christmas. It made national news, I’m told. But I didn’t care. I just wanted my sister back.”



He opened his eyes and tilted his head to look at the therapist. “I learned something during that short time, though.”



“What’s that?” De Silva asked him.



He looked back up at the ceiling, resting his head on the couch and crossing his arms tightly over his chest. “Sheepsheare was right; ‘Hell is empty, and all the devils are here.’”







Jack huffed in the back of the police car, refusing to make eye contact with the officer driving. This wasn’t the first time he had been taken back to the orphanage in the back of an officer’s vehicle, but if he had any say in it, this was going to be the last time.



They couldn’t stop him from finding Megan. If no one else was going to do it, he bloody well was.



“‘Ey, sport, you really shouldn’t be out this late at night. You could get hurt.”



Jack still refused to look at the wolf, crossing his arms over his chest and huddling further into the seat. He glared out the window, the rain running down the window seemed to fit how his night was going a little too well...



The wolf sighed, and Jack glanced at him to see him shaking his head. “You can’t keep doing this, sport. You’re gonna worry someone.”



Yeh, right, Jack thought, rolling his eyes before starting back out the window. N’ one’s left to worry ‘bout me. ‘m alone now.



The rest of the ride was silent, and it only took maybe fifteen minutes before they arrived back at the orphanage.



As they got close, the anxiety made his heart beat harder and he clenched his jaw. He had already been brought back late at night five times this month, and each time he'd been yelled at. The workers seemed to be on their last nerve with him, and he understood why, but he couldn’t stop. He just couldn’t. Megan had been the only one he had, and now she was gone. They didn’t understand. They all had families they got to go back home to at the end of the day. He had no one.



One of the workers, Mrs. Cleary, a middle-aged otter, rushed down the steps as soon as the car drove up. She was carrying an umbrella, and the look on her face was of intense relief. “Jack! Oh, thank Neptune, you’re okay!”



The Constable rolled down his window. “I found him trying to catch the Flying Scotian . Y’ need to keep an eye on this one.”



“Don’t worry, we will.” Mrs. Cleary glared at the wolf before opening the back door. “Come on, Jack.”



Jack gulped and got out slowly, shoving his paws in his pants pockets. Mrs. Cleary grabbed his arm and dragged him under the umbrella, leading him back up the stairs and into the orphanage. She shut the door behind them, folding the umbrella up and setting it beside the door before turning to him. Her paws were on her hips and her foot tapped. “Well?”



He glanced up at her, hunched up. “Well what?”



Mrs. Cleary loomed over him, her green eyes furious. “What were you thinking?? Scotia?? You could have been lost for good, Jack! What if you got abducted like Megan?”



“It would be be’er than jus’ sittin’ ‘ere on me arse!” He stomped his foot, straightening his back and meeting her angry gaze. “Megan is out there somewhere! She’s prob’ly cold, and lonely, and scared, and ‘m not just gonna sit ‘ere and do nofin’!”



“You need to let the police handle it--”



“Ha!” he barked out, his paws in fists at his side. “Whole lot o’ good they’re doin’! It’s been a month, Mrs. Cleary! No word!” He tried to get around her, heading for the door. “I’m ‘er brother, it’s my job--!”



“No, it’s not.” She grabbed his arm again, yanking him back. “You need to calm down--”



“Don’ tell me to calm down!” He yanked his arm away, turning around to glare fiercely at her. “It’s my fault! I should’ve been watchin’ ‘er! I should’ve--should’ve--” His chest was tight and his vision started to swim, and he almost fell over.



“Hey, hey, easy.” Mrs. Cleary caught him, holding him to her. “Breathe, Jack.”



He closed his eyes tight, taking in slow and deep breaths in an attempt to gain control over his heart beat.



Gentle paws rubbed his back. “I know you’re upset. It’s been such a hard time for you, and I can’t even imagine.” The grip on him tightened. “But we can’t just let you go out without supervision. We don’t want to lose another kit. Okay?”



He looked up at her, trying to hold back the tears that desperately wanted to come out. She reminded him so much of Mother…



The otter gave him a soft squeeze. “How about this? We’ll call the station in the morning to see if they have any updates. Sound good?”



Right. Call the animals who had been doing nothing about finding his missing sister for the last month. What a great fucking plan. But he forced a smile to placate her, nodding. “Yeh. Sure.”



“Okay.” She gave him one last squeeze, leading him down the entryway and up a staircase to a hall of doors. “For now, it’s way past your bedtime.”



They got to his door, which still had his and Megan’s names on it. He hadn’t found it in him to take it down just yet. It hurt too much. Mrs. Cleary let him go so he could go inside, giving him one last smile. “I’ll see you in the morning. Please, try to get some rest.”



“Sure.”



She nodded and closed the door.



Jack waited until he couldn’t hear her footsteps anymore before running to the window and throwing it open. His room was on the second floor, but thankfully there was fire escape right by his window. He stripped off his wet jacket and grabbed his raincoat, slipping it on. Slipping out onto the fire escape, he closed the window before shoving the ladder down. He slid down it onto the pavement.



Sorry, Mrs. Cleary, but I can’ wait that long.



He pulled his hood up and took off, making sure to keep at a pace that wouldn’t set off his heart. He made his way down the street, around the corner, towards the main road. The station for the tube wasn’t too far off, about 4 kilometers away. If he kept at this pace, he could make it there before the bell went off at mid morning.



It was so wet, and cold. It didn’t take long for him to start shivering. He should’ve grabbed another sweater before he left. He shoved the thought down, wrapping his arms around himself in an attempt to keep warm. His feet were going numb, and his toes hurt. Had to keep going. Couldn’t give up. Jack coughed and sneezed, starting to wheeze a little. Fuck, he really hadn’t thought this through. How was he supposed to know it was going to rain tonight??



It’s Britannia, it rains all the time, ye wanker!





A car drove by, drenching Jack from the large puddle it drove through. “Ah!” He whirled around, waving his fists at the quickly disappearing vehicle. “Ye fuckin’ slag! Watch where yer goin’!” Of course no one responded, and now he was left in an even worse situation than been before. He had no choice but to suck it up and keep walking.



It seemed his luck was going to continue to be shit.



He saw the lights coming and groaned out loud. Great. Bloody great. Twice in one night. Mrs. Cleary was really going to have his head now.



A police car stopped by the side of the road, and the door opened to reveal a huge Siberian Tiger in a blue suit. He had a scar over one amber eye, and his paws looked rough with age. His face was hard, firm, but something in his eyes…



No. Jack shoved the collar of his coat up, looking away from the officer. He wasn’t any different from any of the others. He was just going to take him back to the orphanage, tell them to keep an eye on him, probably scold him on the way there. None of them were any help, they were all the same.



Just like everyone else.



He started when he heard a door close though, and suddenly the rain wasn’t falling on him anymore. He stared up at the officer, who was holding a giant umbrella over him. His eyes...there was a look in them that made him want to relax and let his guard down. He didn’t know what it was, just...something told him that maybe, just maybe, he could trust this mammal.



The tiger cocked his head in the direction of the car, holding out a paw. Jack instantly reached up to take it, and he was lead over. The bigger mammal lifted him and set him on the passenger’s side seat, buckling him in before doing the same for himself. It wasn’t until they were started off down the road before he finally spoke.



“Where am I taking you, son?”



For some reason, Jack got the impression that if he asked him to take him to the station, he might. He probably wouldn’t leave him there, but still… Jack mentally shook his head, bringing his legs up to wrap his arms around them.



“St. Mercy’s Orph’nge.”



The officer hummed, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. “Do they know you’re out?”



“No.” Jack’s grip on himself tightened. “Do we ‘ave to tell ‘em?”



“ Have to tell them .” The tiger glanced over at him. “And to get you back inside, I’m afraid we do.”



“Great.” Jack sighed, leaning over to rest his head on the door. “Bloody great.”



“Language,” the tiger scolded him softly. “I can talk to them, if you’d like. See if I can’t get them to let up on you.” He turned onto the main road. “I imagine you’ve had a rough time, eh, Jack?”



His first instinct was to ask him how he knew his name, but he reasoned that if he hadn’t seem him on the news, he’d probably heard about him from his fellow officers. For now, Jack just shrugged, resting his chin on his knees. “S’not a big deal. ‘m ‘andling it.”



“ Handling it.”



Jack blinked, looking over at the tiger. Was he...trying to correct how he was speaking? Why? Was he making fun of him? A wave of anger washed over him and he glanced away, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from cursing.



Just like he thought. He was just like the rest of them.



The drive back to the orphanage was almost routine to him by now, and when they got there he had braced himself. He almost expected one of the workers to come running down the stairs, but then he remembered the time. It was so late.



Bloody hell, they were going to be so angry at him.



The tiger unbuckled and Jack sighed, doing the same. Well, time to do this again. Get yelled at, sent back to bed, probably sneak back out, rinse and repeat. He huffed, rubbing his paws over his face.



Then he squeaked when the tiger picked him up, holding him with one arm as he walked up the stairs. Jack was further startled when he was put inside the inner pocket of the tiger’s coat.



“Alright, listen here, sport. This is plan. I’m going to knock on the door and when I have your caretaker distracted, you’re going to sprint for the nearest bathroom. I will take care of it from there.” He looked down at him, eyebrows raised. “Understood?”



Jack nodded rapidly, dumbfounded. He...was going to help him? Why? He shook his head, huddling into the pocket. If it was gonna keep him out of trouble, he wasn’t going to complain. This was the most anyone had even offered to help him in...a long while.



The tiger got to the door and knocked on it. Jack heard it open and Mrs. Cleary’s voice rang out.



“Oh, hello! How can I help you?”



“Ma’am, I’m Deputy Chief Constable Williams. I’m one of the officers working Megan Smith’s case.”



“Oh! Of course, please, come in!”



Jack felt the tiger move and he clutched the fabric of the pocket. He heard the door close and it was suddenly a lot warmer. Thank Frith, he was so tired of being cold. DCC Williams was moving again, and he was struggling to hold on and not freak out. Why had he agreed to this??



“How can I help, Mr. Williams?”



“Could I talk to the brother?”



“At this time? It’s so late…”



“I promise I won’t be long.”



“Well...alright.”



He heard her footsteps walking away, then DCC Williams took him out of his pocket and quickly shoved him down a hall. “Go, now, before she comes back.”



He saluted and sprinted down the hall, going into the bathroom and rushing inside. He had to remind himself not to slam the door and leaned back against it, breathing deep and slow breaths. Whew. They had actually gotten away with it. Dear Frith…



There were quick footsteps from up above and Jack pressed his ear against the door, wanting to hear what was going on.



“He’s not in his room! I swear to all the gods, if he’s snuck out again--!”



“Now, let’s not jump to conclusions. Maybe he just went to get a drink or something?”



Ah, that was his cue. Jack reached his back foot over to flush the toilet and turned on the sink for just a second before turning it back off. He took off his raincoat, stuffing it into the tub before opening the door and walking out. He walked down the hall, letting out a fake yawn and pretending to be startled when he saw the DCC. “Wha’? Wha’s a peeler doin’ ‘ere? I didn’ do nofin’ this time.”



“Jack.” Mrs. Cleary gestured for him to come over, which he did. “This is the Deputy Chief Constable. He says he’s on your sister’s case and he wanted to ask you a few questions. Is that alright?”



He shrugged. “Sure, I guess.”



“Would you mind if I spoke to him alone?” DCC Williams asked Mrs. Cleary. “As I said, I promise I won’t take long.”



The otter looked over at Jack. “Is that okay with you?”



He shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “I guess.”



“Alright.” She stroked the tuft of fur on the top of his head. “I’ll be right in the kitchen, okay?” She looked at the tiger again. “Please don’t take long, it is very late.” With one last squeeze to Jack’s shoulder, she was off down the hall.



They both waited until she was well out of earshot before they let out a simultaneous sight of relief. There was a pause before their eyes locked, amber meeting blue. Each took the other in, in awe of how well they had been able to pull that off.



Williams broke first, walking over and flopping down onto the steps with a groan. Jack watched before making his way over, taking a seat a bit away from the bigger animal. He didn’t really know what to say, biting his lip and glancing up at him.



“Um...fanks.”



“ Thanks .” The tiger looked down at him, his eyes warm. “And you’re welcome.” He settled back on the stairs, one leg crossing over the other. “I remember being your age. I snuck out once or twice before my father put a stop to it. He was never harsh, just firm. He let me know that it wasn’t out of anger, but out of fear. He didn’t want me to be taken away.”



“Yeah…” Jack looked away, his ears falling down his back.



A large paw was set on his shoulder. “Son.”



He couldn’t look at him, fighting back tears once again. It was too hard.



The paw moved to his face, cupping his chin and moving so he was forced to look at him. Williams’ eyes were soft, his expression understanding. “It’s alright to be upset. It’s alright to cry. It doesn’t make you any less of a buck.”



Fuck. Tears were falling and he couldn’t stop them. He yanked his head away, lifting his paws to rub at his eyes as he sniffled and choked. “No, it’s no’. It’s...it’s my fault--”



“You are not the one who made your sister disappear, son. It was not you.”



All of his emotions washed over him, and Jack buried his face in his paws as he tried and failed to swallow back his sobs. “She...she was all I ‘ad...I was ‘posed to protect ‘er...but I jus’--I jus’--” A choked wail left him and he curled up into himself. “She--she was all--all I ‘ad...an’ she’s gone!” Everything hit him like a train and he couldn’t stop it. It was all so much, too much, and fuck his chest was tight--





The paw was back around him, seeming to dwarf him in size. Another paw joined it, lifting him up onto a higher step before pulling him into the DCC’s side. His head and ears were stroked, so gently, and for the first time in a long time he felt safe.



“It wasn’t your fault, son. Alright? You did everything you could. And I swear on Bastet, I will do everything in my power to find her for you.”



Jack just nodded, closing his eyes and going limp against the tiger. He focused on his breathing--out and in--and it didn’t take long for him to get his emotions back under control. The whole time, the tiger continued to stroke his ears, just letting him get it all out. It was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for him.



After some time had passed he pulled away, wiping his face with his paw. “Ugh. Sorry ‘bout tha’.”



“No need to be sorry.” Williams pulled his paw away, standing up and wiping at his uniform. “Everyone needs a break now and then.” He looked at him, cocking his head to the side. “Are you going to be alright?”



Jack nodded, also standing. A feeling of awkwardness settled over him and he rubbed his arm, nibbling at his bottom lip. He glanced up, holding out a paw. “I, uh, never intr’duced m’self. ‘m Jack Smith.”



The tiger chuckled and took his paw, giving it a firm shake. “Deuteronomy Williams.”



“Deuteronomy?” Jack raised a brow, unable to help letting out an amused snort.



“I know,” Williams joined him in chuckling. “My parents were kind of cruel with that. Most just call me D, or Old D if they’re feeling cheeky.”



“Old D.” He couldn’t keep the grin off of his muzzle. Cheeky was a word many had used to describe him. “Nice t’ meet ya. And...fanks. Er,” he cleared his throat at the tiger’s look, “um...th-thanks.”



Williams smiled warmly at him, giving his paw a squeeze before letting it go. “You’re very welcome, Jack.”



The moment was interrupted by the sound of footsteps came from down the hall, and they both turned their heads to see Mrs. Cleary approaching them. She wrung her paws, her eyes darting between them. “I do hope I’m not interrupting anything.”



“No,” Williams shook his head, sliding his paws into his pants pockets. “Jack was very helpful.”



“Oh, good.” The otter trotted up the steps to stand by Jack, wrapping an arm around him. “Now, I hate for you to feel like I’m shooing you away, but it is very late--”



“I understand.” The tiger nodded at them. “Thank you both for your cooperation.” Amber eyes landed on Jack with a stern look. “Remember what I said.” He turned around, heading for the door, waving to them other his shoulder. “You’ll be seeing more of me. Have a good night.” He opened the door and stepped out, closing it softly behind them.



Then it was quiet.



Mrs. Cleary gave him a squeeze. “Jack? Are you okay?”



Slowly, he nodded. “Yeh.” He looked up at her, giving her the first genuine smile for the first time in a while. “‘m okay.” He stepped away from her grasp. “I fink ‘m gonna try t’ sleep.”



“Of course.” She walked with him back to his room, giving him a hug before he stepped inside.



This time, when he went over to the window, it was to close it. He slipped out of his wet clothes and into his pajamas before laying down on his bed. His head hurt from crying and his body ached from the cold, but his mind was clear.



He was still going to find Megan. That was a given. This time, though...he had an ally.



With one last nod, Jack rolled over onto his side and closed his eyes. It only took a few seconds for him to fall fast asleep, snoring.



The next morning he was woken up by a knocking at his door. He groaned and sat up, rubbing at his face with his paws before standing up. He made his way over to the door, opening it and looking up. “Hm?”



Mrs. Cleary was standing there, the biggest smile he’d ever seen on her face. Her eyes were shining with excitement. “Get dressed and come down to the common room. And hurry!” She clapped her paws together.



“Um...okay?” She was...oddly cheery. He closed the door and got dressed, throwing on a pair of jeans and a plain black sweater. When he came back out, the otter grabbed him by the wrist and almost yanked him down the hall.



“Wha’--?? ‘Ey, slow down!” Jack protested as he almost tripped over his own feet.



“Sorry, sorry,” she apologized, slowing down as they walked down the stairs. “I’m just so excited for you!”



“O...kay?” He kept up with her as she led him down the hall towards the common room. “Why?”



“Because.” She let go of him and went over to the door, standing in front of them. Her whole being was almost radiating with joy. “There’s a family here who wants to see you.” She bounced on the heels of her feet. “And they want to adopt you!”



Silence. He blinked. They… “What?”



“Mm hm!” She giggled and turned around, opening the doors.



Jack slowly stepped in, his eyes wide.



Deuteronomy Williams sat on the couch in the common room with four other big cats. He turned his head and when he saw Jack, he stood up and smiled at him. “Jack. It’s good to see you.” He gestured for the others around him to stand. “This is my family.”



A female snow leopard stood at his side and smiled warmly at Jack. “Hello, Jack. Old D has been telling us all about you. I’m Jemima.”



Two cubs rushed up to him, a tiger and a leopard. The tiger, a male, spoke first. “We have a room that you can stay in! It’s my old room, but I don’t mind sharing!”



“And I have some toys that you can have!” the leopard, a female, beamed at him.



“Plato, Victoria.” Williams gave them both a sharp look.



The kits ducked their heads sheepishly. “Sorry, father,” they said in unison, scrambling back over to their mother, who placed her paws on their shoulders.”



Jack stared up at them, his eyes wide. “You...wanna ‘dopt me?”



“ Adopt. ” Old D went over and knelt down in front of him so that they were eye-to-eye. “And yes, we do.” He put a large paw on Jack’s shoulder. “I promised I would help you, son. I talked it over with my family last night and we all agreed that you would be a perfect fit for our family. We will never stop looking for your sister, but we can at least make sure you have the best life available in the meantime.” He smiled at him, amber eyes warm. “So. What do you think?”



Jack looked between the tiger and his family, his mind whirling. No one had ever been interested in adopting him before. Most of the kits who got out of the orphanage were super young, no older than six. The majority of orphans living there had resigned themselves to the fact they were going to be there until they aged out and were kicked on to the streets. This family, though...this tiger...really wanted him to be a part of their lives?



Holy Frith, he might cry.



He took a deep breath, lifting his paw to rest on top of Old D’s. Tears were blinked back rapidly and he gave him a watery smile.



“Sure. Let’s do this.”