Wife dies after nude beach blow job jet ski battle

Vices

Nine times out of ten, when you discover your husband orally pleasuring another man at a nude beach, you take your marital problems to the nearest divorce attorney ... not the nearest jet ski, no matter how totally rad and perfect for summer it is. But ever once and a while, there's a rip in the space-time continuum and a couple like Pamela and Michael Doster come along and have a fatal "You were just blowing a dude, dude" fight atop a Sea-Doo.

Which is exactly what happened when Pamela came across Michael laying down the law on some peen at the local nude beach in Passage Key, Florida. She confronted him, and they decided to take the argument to the jet ski. But, when things got heated atop the aquatic fun mobile, Michael allegedly threw Pamela off several times. She refused to re-board after the last toss, so Michael left her on a sandbar and zoomed off on the jet ski.

When he returned to shore, he called 911, and Pamela was found bruised and battered, wearing nothing but a life vest on the sandbar. After a few days in the hospital, she passed away.

Local police have named Michael as a suspect in her death, but are also looking for the man on the receving end of Michael's deadly blowjob to provide details as well.

It remains to be seen whether the jet ski itself played a role in Pamela's death. Damn. Haven't you guys ever heard the phrase "Make jet skis, not war?"