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The end of a marriage is hard on the parents losing a partner, but children are losing a family unit, a loss that can prompt real grief they can be too young to process, said Jason Carey a counselling manager with KidsHelpPhone. Many callers are sad, even depressed, or have anxiety during a custody battle.

“The majority of the ones we do hear about are the ones where there’s a lot of stress and parents playing the kids against each other,” Carey said.

Most troubling was the persistent psychological campaign the (mother) embarked on

And Penny’s case serves as an extreme example of just that.

“Most troubling was the persistent psychological campaign the (mother) embarked on,” the judge wrote in awarding Jackson custody. “The mind games she has been playing with her daughter cannot be allowed to continue.”

Eileen — whose lawyer did not return requests for comment — would tell Penny “bad things are going to happen to mommy” when she misses her, would do everything in her power to prevent happy visits with the father and say “daddy doesn’t love you” and left her for a new family.

Even something as simple as haircuts exposed the child to unnecessary drama

“Even something as simple as haircuts exposed the child to unnecessary drama,“ the judge wrote, referring to another incident when Penny was worried her mother would be upset she got her haircut with her father. One of her teachers recalled her fretting in class over the new coif, not because she didn’t like it, but because she feared Eileen’s reaction.

It’s just one of many times the other adults in Penny’s life testified about the emotional toll her parents’ war was waging on the little girl. She had headaches and often felt ill, even vomiting from stress or soiling herself before being taken to swap from one house to another. Before a school Christmas party, one teacher asked her why she seemed so upset.