Armed with only 90 seconds of footage for each player, it’s time to critically judge the first 8 members of the Australian Survivor 2018 cast!

It has been an eerily quiet preseason leading up to Wednesday’s premiere of Australian Survivor: Champions V Contenders. However, at long last, the people at TEN have given us something to work with, releasing 90 second intro videos for each of the 24 new castaways. It’s finally time to build some hype!

On first glance, the class of 2018 seems to be slightly less strategically orientated than last year’s group. Although, I wouldn’t read too much into that yet, as the ads currently seem to be focusing more on the physical side of the game, and pushing the us-versus-them-pick-a-side-mentality that comes along with a themed season. This is clearly a ploy designed to attract new viewers, and if that’s what it takes to keep the show on our screens then so be it!

I remain highly confident that more than a few of these characters will be able to produce ripping brands of Survivor. However, we might just have to wait a few more episodes than usual for their strategical prowess to start driving the show’s narrative. With any luck, the members of the big-bodied-honour-and-integrity-blockhead brigade won’t be allowed to hijack the season, and we’ll be treated to a highly competitive game of Australian Survivor that matches, if not betters, the standard of last year’s spectacular edition.

So, enough chat…let’s dive into the roasting! Hot tip number one: the women are going to dominate. Hot tip number two: the local crabs are already getting a heap of air time!

Brian Lake

Former AFL Star – Champion

Last spotted locked behind bars in Japan, this triple premiership Hawk enters the game with an ambition to do ‘whatever it takes’ to bring home the title. It’s currently unclear whether his involvement in the drunken scuffle that led to his arrest was due to celebrating a deep run into the game or commiserating a devastating loss, but I suspect it’s the latter. Brian is certainly a goose, although I do think he has the potential to become an entertaining quasi-villain as the game progresses. I like his footy inspired “build a pyramid” game plan, and if he can position himself on the right side of Russell, he could become one of the major hopes out of the blokes on the champions tribe. I’m going to back him in to make the merge.

Heath

Builder – Contender

Heath, the giant builder from Brisbane, references his height on ten seperate occasions during his intro video… Measuring in at 216cm, it’s not hard to guess why he was selected to appear on the show.

“Always been tall… I’ve never met anyone taller than me so far.”

Heath is a proud member of the tall community although he believes his biggest disadvantage in life (and therefore in the game) is his tendency to unintentionally intimidate other people as a result of always having to ‘look down’ on them. He recognises that his size will place a target on his back, but he wants to exploit this fact in order to gain traction within his tribe as an invaluable shield. He’d like to play an honest game but is willing to go against his morals if it means taking out the win. Overall, Heath comes across as a genuine bloke who seems to have a reasonable level of self awareness – but at the end of the day, shields don’t win Survivor. Pre-merge boot.

Jackie

Poker Player – Champion

The Survivor poker experiment continues as Australia’s most successful female player, Jackie Glazier, swaps cards for fire by joining the champions tribe. I’ve always been an advocate that Survivor is a remarkably similar game to poker (albeit slightly more elaborate). However, contestants who have switched codes in the past have always fared extremely poorly – in most instances due to a heightened level of male arrogance. Jackie seems different though… She’s cashed in over 1.3 million US dollars in tournament prize money, making her a master of deception, body language, and conditional probability. She knows how to adjust her behaviour so that others perceive her hand to be weaker or stronger than it actually is… And whilst she maintains an air of arrogance, it appears that she’ll be able to keep this in check amongst a tribe full of enormous egos. If Jackie can remain patient during the early stages of the game, I think she has the potential to play a major role in the closing stages of the season. Post-merge tilt.

Fenella

Interior Designer – Contender

Fenella, the mischievous interior designer from Melbourne, is keen to embrace the role of a villain whilst hiding behind the trustworthy face of “Bert Newton’s love child.” She suspects that the other contestants will underestimate her both physically and manipulatively, which she’ll then be able to exploit in a post merge rampage. At this stage it appears to be a flip of a coin as to whether she’ll present as either an extremely annoying or likeable character. On gut feeling alone I wouldn’t be surprised if her name unluckily gets thrown around as a first boot option. It will therefore be key for Fenella to put in a strong opening challenge performance in addition to positioning herself within an early majority alliance. If she makes it to the merge she’ll be extremely dangerous.

Damien

Ex Special Forces Commando – Champion

Damien, the double amputee real life survivor, is clearly an extremely tough and resilient individual. However, as a Survivor player, he is already displaying a number of concerning red flags… Most notably arrogance and a complete dismissal of the entire opposition tribe.

“Every other time someone’s challenged me as a survivor they’ve come off second best… To be honest I don’t really think the contenders stand a chance – everyone who’s on the champions team has proven themselves… They’re going to struggle – they’re in for the fight of their lives and I don’t even think they know they’re in a fight yet.”

On first looks, it appears that Damien falls into the category of players who think that the game is purely about physical strength and surviving the wild. This sets him up perfectly for a rude awakening when the first blindside occurs. I can’t wait.

Robbie

Construction Manager – Contender

Robbie, the holier-than-thou construction manager from Adelaide, has been preparing for the game by going “absolutely bonkers” on the sledgehammer and tyres with his personal trainer. He loves using the phrase ‘100 percent’ and his key moral in life is respect. He wants to play the ‘hard working’ provider type role within his tribe, and makes a promise to Australia that “it’s time for the hero to win”. Rob sums up his chances pretty well in his own words.

“Why do you have to win the game of Survivor through backstabbing? That’s not how it should be. You should be able to build alliances, build friendship, build respect and bring these key players with you to the end and battle it out.”

So basically, ‘If you vote against my exclusive alliance regardless of whether you’re in it or not, you’re a backstabbing deceitful criminal, but whenever I vote people out it’s fine because I have a superior set of morals to everyone else.’ Get off your horse mate, you don’t stand a chance. Pre-merge boot.

Lydia

Aerial Skier – Champion

As a 13 year old I remember cheering for Lydia as she competed in her first olympics at Salt Lake City. It was on an old TV in my room that needed to be turned on at least half an hour in advance and whacked a few times in order to get a stable picture. Shortly afterwards the fourth season of US Survivor premiered – exciting times! Anyway, I liked her then and I still like her now; winter olympians are tough cookies. Lydia doesn’t present as ‘loudly’ as most of the other champions which should set her up nicely to claim a central under the radar position within her tribe. I think she’ll be underestimated in all areas of the game and wouldn’t be surprised if Russell tries to recruit her as one of his ‘followers’ to take to the end. Given that she was able to qualify for the olympics only a year or so after learning to ski, regardless of her current knowledge of the game, I suspect that Lydia will be one of the champions who develops the most as a Survivor player over the course of the season. Chance.

Anita

Sales Rep – Contender

Anita, the 50 year old super fan who claims to be able to sell religion to the pope, has been preparing for the game by sleeping on the deck, pumping iron and giving up booze. On her vision board you’ll find a Survivor emblem, a note to recycle more, and a blank check from Aussie Jeff for 500K. Anita means business and I like her style. I think she’ll become a highly entertaining character who is able to deliver sensationally sassy lines at tribal council. Hopefully she’ll find a way to align with the other fans in the cast in order to produce a season that favours gameplay over physical strength and moral integrity. My major concern for Anita is that she’ll become too comfortable within a tight alliance, and then find herself on the wrong side of the numbers after an unlucky swap or twist. I need to see more to make an informed prediction.

And that rounds out the previews for the first eight members of the Australian Survivor 2018 cast! What are your first impressions of the group? Who’s your early tip for the win? Feel free to join the discussion below or chat with us on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

Next up I’ll be previewing another 8 contestants including the frontrunner for the fan favourite award, and a self obsessed former gladiator. Be sure to check back here soon for more blind judgements and preseason predictions!

All photos courtesy of Nigel Wright/Network TEN

Australian Survivor: Champions V Contenders premieres @ 7:30pm Wednesday August 1 on TEN and WIN Network.

Tristan Kelly is a 29 year old ex-doctor turned writer, based in Perth, Western Australia. During his final year of medical school he famously watched and analysed every available episode of Survivor (all 368 of them at the time), probably making him more qualified as a Survivor commentator than he ever was a doctor. In between writing and editing, he now spends most of his time organising audacious schemes and fantasising about one day winning the game.

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