Going to the doctor can be an ordeal even before your bunions are properly diagnosed as leprosy -- among those forces conspiring to test your patience are interminable waits, loud children, and shitty magazines. ("Oh, a single issue of Redbook. From 1996.")

Some medical professionals, however, seem to go out of their way to elevate the entire experience from "horrible" to "hellish" in a way you just can't learn in medical school. Here are five real MDs who make Gregory House look like Dr. Dolittle.