I try not to be too political. It can create tension, divide, and even hostility that wouldn’t be there otherwise. However, I’m going to address something that has been bothering me for awhile, and I feel like it needs to be said, because it’s definitely not cool to say. Be mindful that I am going to spread a broad stoke, and that what I say does not apply to all.

I am not a feminist.

Well, not in the modern sense. Originally,Feminism was about equality. In that sense, I am definitely a feminist.

However, feminism today has turned into this prideful attitude in women that irks me to the bone. In college, my honors class was a group of women who identified as (modern) “femimists”, and it really showed me that these feminists have turned into this man-hating gaggle of destructive, delusional women that do little but spread hate and divison. I know; strong words. Bear with me. It’s so sad. I am seeing it daily in social media and in other daily media. They teach women that they are better than men, because they can do everything men can do and do it better.I am calling BS, a very grateful BS.

First of all, women CANNOT do everything a man can. Men are designed to be stronger, quicker, and physically more capable of pretty much everything. They even tend to be more analytically minded, better at understanding math and spacial reasoning. That’s great, because that’s the perfect balance for women, who tend to be more detail-oriented, emotionally intuitive, and much better communicators and handlers of stress, which we tend to feel a lot, am I right? There’s all sorts of research to back this up.

Men and women are equal because we are perfect balancers of each other. We NEED each other.

Modern feminists trying to prove they’re equal to men by working the long hours out of the house and trying to be more manly in their approaches (have you noticed to be formal, women have suits now? Why is this considered more professional?) to things are missing the point. While dressing in suits and working long hours are not wrong things to do as a woman, I want us to consider what happens when both mom and dad do this: where is the child left?

Our kids in today’s society are left in daycare all day, 5 days a week because moms and dads are both taking on that role of financial provider. As a teacher, I witness kids being dropped off at 5 am and left until past 6 pm. These kids tend to be the loud, behaviorally rambunctious children, the children who are constantly seeking attention. Are we surprised? How do you think they get attention in a daycare setting surrounded by other children? I’m guessing they do something loud, something shocking, something to get the adults’ attention reliably. I get that working these long hours are needed sometimes, but if we are working like this because we want to be equal providers, I beg the question- why? Aren’t we failing at providing the incredibly important ingredient of parenting: being there?

If they are so busy trying to get attention in class, they’re set up to fail socially and academically, leading to poor starts in college and work… You see where I’m going? Can we see the long-term consequences? Are we surprised this generation is shouting in the streets trying to get the nation’s attention for every problem they see, spreading violence and hate and divide, but lacking the knowledge and discipline to consider how to make real change in a calm, educated, and thoughtful manner? Are they actually dominating the polls or reading the laws? Again, this is a broad stroke, but I’m thinking maybe we can be better feminists, better focused on our own strengths, proud of them, even. After all, being a female is hard enough. Let’s stop trying to be men, too. In turn, our children will see and experience and emulate that perfect balance.