April 27, 2017 by Kara Alloway in Behind the "Scenes"

I’VE NEVER BEEN A FAN OF MUDDY JEANS

A belligerent person needs an environment of controversy in order to provide themselves with a sense of self-worth. They need to keep the argument alive and live to argue. Without the argument, they have little or nothing to contribute. A negative times a positive is still a negative. You can’t achieve a positive result from a negative confrontation. These types of antagonists use conflict to get yours and everybody else’s attention in their attempt to hook you. They don’t care what you think, they just want to pull you into their game, in their schoolyard, in their grounds by their rules. Digital media delivers all kinds of offense, designed to hook you, to get you, to instil in you the “justice meter” that says “I’m going to set him/her straight”. The provocations directed in social media are meant to make every bone in your body want to fire off a reply to that vlog, that tweet, that FB live post. Don’t respond; it’s a trap.

IF YOU WRESTLE IN THE MUD WITH A PIG,

BOTH OF YOU WILL GET DIRTY,

BUT ONLY ONE OF YOU WILL ENOY IT.

Stay out of the mud, don’t get sucked into the argument. Those muddy jeans are highly overrated.

Quarrelsome people need to keep the argument going and find meaning, purpose and value by trying to upset you. Don’t play their game and don’t get drawn into it. They aren’t looking for answers, they just want a platform, attention and an argument. It takes two people to have an argument. If one of them doesn’t show up, what happens to the argument? It ends. The fire is extinguished and the individual is left shouting at the wind. Take the high ground. Do what’s right no matter what the antagonist interjects into your life. In this manner when they insult you and lie about you, your silence is treating them with kindness. You cannot control what other people think about you, what they say about you and what they do to you. But you do have 100% control over whether to respond and how to respond. The high ground gives you clear perspective and when you take it, you see past the offensive behaviour. The most difficult response is determining within yourself not to be offended. Rise above the irritation and conflict and choose to live in peace.

“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me.The last of one’s freedoms is to choose ones attitude in any given circumstance.”