Coronavirus means all the rules have gone out the window and there is much more room for experimentation

I interviewed psychotherapist Lili Tarkow-Reinisch over the phone, rather than having an in-person session with her, but I still came away in a different mood: curiosity took the baton from hysterical rumination, at least for a bit. Tarkow-Reinisch pointed out that even if you’ve experienced anxiety before, or isolation, it hasn’t been global. “Is that some kind of compensation,” she asked, “if we’re suffering with others? Or does it make us more alone? We don’t have that answer yet. We’re going to discover this.” It is something we’re all discovering, at speed: how a single conversation can tilt the world back to normality, even if only by five degrees.

We know analysts prefer face-to-face contact, to an almost tyrannical degree. And we know we’re not allowed to have it right now. So the question is, are there upsides to remote therapy? Some analysts have been offering Skype sessions for some time, such as Anna Blundy, who co-founded the Mind Field for aid workers in conflict zones. “There’s a massive advantage in the lack of stigma attached,” she says, going on to describe how much of an impact that can have – whether that means people working in a very tight-knit environment who feel under surveillance, or people who would feel professionally tarnished if they showed any strain, or people who feel so ashamed of needing help that the act of travelling to get it makes them feel vulnerable, even if they’re unlikely to be seen.

Sally Warren, who works for the Mind Field and runs a traditional practice from her home in London, says that, since “all the rules are out of the window because of this virus”, there is more room for experimentation: a therapist would probably agree to a couple of sessions to get you over an immediate crisis, whereas in normal life it would typically be a longer commitment.

Tarkow-Reinisch drills into the benefits of speaking from your own home: “When you’re in the same room, there’s something about the lack of distance between you that makes people rein their emotion in. My patients tend to cry much more freely when they’re on Skype. Patients who are the victims of physical trauma feel safer online.”

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Blundy emphasises that the fundamentals of therapy are unchanged, whatever its context: “People just want to be heard. And to have a space in which to say whatever they want, without being judged. Otherwise they feel they’re putting a lot of pressure on a partner, if they’ve got one.”

This phase could have far-reaching effects across mental health services: as community peer-support groups battle to move online, and to the phone, there are huge concerns in the charity sector about people falling through the cracks. But if remote networks can build quickly, there could be positives that last long after the crisis passes.

What I learned

For the elderly in long-term self-isolation, who may be more lonely than anxious, the Imperfect Life Coach is offering some free one-on-one sessions.