Now I know why shouting at referees is a waste of time

I spent the first 10 years of my career being a right pain to referees.

I was always in their ear, challenging their decisions, niggling them if they had missed something earlier in the game.

It was part of the football culture back then. At Manchester United, we had Roy Keane, Paul Ince and Steve Bruce.

In your face: But the bullying tactic used against D'Urso is counter-productive

Arsenal had the likes of Martin Keown, Tony Adams and Patrick Vieira doing the same thing.



Both teams would hunt the ref down, surround him to make a decision for us, most notoriously for United in a game against Middlesbrough when referee Andy D'Urso was intimidated (I wasn't playing in that one by the way!).

Then, something happened that completely changed my outlook.

The top referee of his day, Graham Poll, came to Old Trafford to meet the full United squad before the start of the season.



He told us quite candidly that if he'd had a run-in with a player or a manager, he'd remember it in future and would be less likely to make a decision in their favour.



You could have heard a pin drop, the silence interrupted by Teddy Sheringham blurting out in disbelief: 'You what?!'

When you think about it, it's common sense.



Referees are human beings, and human beings are influenced by how people behave towards them or what they say.

It's why you can't sit on a jury if you've read about the case beforehand.

Nonetheless, this was startling news to us United players. We had assumed we could behave how we wanted and the next game would be a blank sheet.

Poll told us otherwise.

Contempt: Neil Warnock is sent off by referee Graham Poll

As I approached 30, I consciously changed my attitude. Instead of shouting 'disgrace' at referees, I talked to them on a human level.



My manner changed, it was no longer antagonistic. And, you know what, it worked. I am sure I got better results personally.



Maybe that's why I wasn't sent off last season against Stoke and West Brom. I should definitely have gone.

These days, most of the dissent towards referees comes from managers rather than players.



There has been a huge improvement in player-referee relationships since the Respect campaign.

Instead, most of the dissent these days comes from managers after the games.



Dictating: Villas-Boas said Foy's decisions were unacceptable

But the result is still the same - it could end up doing them more harm than good. I covered the QPR-Chelsea game for Sky Sports last Sunday.

Referee Chris Foy got three big decisions right in my eyes yet was condemned as 'unacceptable' by Chelsea manager Andre Villas-Boas, who was unhappy at the two red cards and seven yellows that led to his club admitting an FA charge of failing to control their players.

I'm not having a go at the Chelsea manager in isolation.



Kenny Dalglish, David Moyes and Neil Warnock, among others, have all criticised referees this season as well.



Does it work?: Wenger makes a point to referee Mike Dean

Sir Alex Ferguson, Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho have been accused of doing the same thing in the past.



My big question is whether it works.

Some weaker referees might be intimidated next time around but I think largely I go with what Poll told me, that officials are more likely to go the other way and not give clubs that have given them a hard time the benefit of the doubt.



The best referees, like Pierluigi Collina, are so confident in their ability, they don't care who says what about them, but they are in a minority.



Will Chris Foy be more or less likely to give Villas-Boas a decision next time Chelsea play?



Less likely, I'd wager.

Unflappable: Pierluigi Collina the best in the business

For the first time this season, I have been out of the Manchester United bubble and seen every team play in the Premier League.



And I see how difficult things are for referees with the speed of today's game.

I hadn't properly noticed before what managers say about the referees, much of it negative.

There have been a number of times I've thought the referee has got it wrong, only to see he was correct after watching a replay.



Having been in the dressing room on the end of bad decisions, I understand how tough it is for managers and players to restrain themselves in talking honestly.



However, it is better for them to bite their lip.



Otherwise they may be creating future heartache down the line.

Carling Cup is a prize on the rise

I wrote in my column a few weeks ago that the Carling Cup was an important competition despite its detractors.



This week's action and yesterday's quarter-final draw, with heavyweights pitted against each other, proves the point.



Up for the Cup: Villas-Boas celebrates at Everton

You could see Kenny Dalglish's elation after Liverpool beat Stoke on Wednesday. Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas celebrated his team's win at Everton the same evening as if he had won the World Cup.



Everyone saw how important it was for Manchester United to progress at Aldershot after the derby defeat against Manchester City.



Everyone knows Arsenal are desperate to win a major trophy after six years. City showed how seriously they are taking it with five goals at Wolves.



Make no mistake, the Carling Cup is making a big impact.

The Big Five - United, City, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool - are all in the last eight.



Five out of the past seven Carling Cup finals have been won by Jose Mourinho or Sir Alex Ferguson.



And if it's good enough for them...

If United and City end up meeting in the semi-finals or final, the Carling Cup could have the biggest influence of all on the Premier League title race.

He'll take a win: Sir Alex Ferguson (left) saw his side bounce back

There's really only one way to bounce back

If you had given Sir Alex Ferguson the choice of any result at Everton yesterday, a 1-0 win would have been the first thing out of his mouth.

More than 3-2, 4-3 or even 3-0, a 1-0 victory away from home epitomises what winning championships is all about.

Manchester United have bounced back from bad defeats before and responding after the derby defeat with a clean sheet and a win, courtesy of a goal from Javier Hernandez, at a tough place like Everton is the perfect retort.



Take it from me, the manager will be absolutely delighted with that scoreline.

I was at a totally different game yesterday, watching Arsenal beat Chelsea 5-3 at Stamford Bridge.

It was a humdinger and summed up some of the crazy games between the top teams this season.

Proving a point: Javier Hernandez saw United take all three points

But I have played in games like that and even if you win and feel elated because of that, there is also part of you that knows not everything is right.

While Chelsea and Arsenal provided plenty of entertainment, United will not have swapped that scoreline for their own.



I was in United teams that suffered defeats like 6-3 at Southampton but regrouped to win Premier League titles.

That result at Everton is the perfect way of fighting back after the experience of losing so heavily to Manchester City.



