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Not so fast, you nacho- and pizza-loving Denver Nuggets.

Drop that slice. Put down that chip. Discard that cheese. Coach Brian Shaw will have none of those pregame delicacies in his locker room.

Those of you waiting for a "just kidding," keep waiting—because this isn't a joke.

Miffed by his team's poor first-quarter offensive displays, Shaw has banned nachos and pizza from Denver's locker room, according to the The Denver Post's Tom Schad:

Shaw has searched for answers to their offensive woes in the first quarters of games. Last week, he walked through the locker room, saw players eating pizza and nachos and believed the poor diet to be the cause. So he picked up all the junk food and threw it in the trash. The Nuggets had fresh salads with chicken breast and cold cut sandwiches before Monday's game. The sluggish result was the same.

Fresh salads don't have the same appeal as a grease-soaked slice of pizza or cheese-drenched platter of tortilla chips. Lettuce is neither oily nor fatty, coloring Shaw a party pooper.

Though, in his defense, this isn't a fiesta of any kind—this is the NBA. And the Nuggets have looked sluggish.

Denver currently ranks eighth in offensive efficiency (107.5) and 10th in points per game (102.6), but it's failed to eclipse 100 in three of the last four contests. Against the Washington Wizards, the Nuggets set a season low with 75 points, somehow emerging victorious.

First quarters have been especially brutal as of late. While the Nuggets rank fifth in first-quarter scoring on the season, according to NBA.com (subscription required), they dropped just 15 points in a recent loss to the Boston Celtics.

It's not unreasonable to believe the team would be dragging their feet after devouring foods loaded with grease and saturated fats. If you are in fact what you eat, Shaw was lucky his Nuggets were standing upright to begin with.

Problem is, swapping out unhealthy cuisine for salads didn't do the trick. Denver scored only 18 points in the first quarter against the Wizards.

So maybe there isn't a link between the team's pregame snacks and onset lethargy. Kobe Bryant could've told Shaw that. It was the Black Mamba who revealed years later that he downed some questionable grub before his 81-point game, after all:

"We'll keep searching and seeking until we find (it)," Shaw said of Denver's early quarter struggles, via Schad.

Guess that means fried Oreos are off the pregame menu, too.

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*All stats in this article were compiled from Basketball-Reference and NBA.com (subscription required), and are accurate as of Dec. 10, 2013 unless otherwise noted.