The gray hairs started to creep in first. Little silver whack-a-moles taunting from the under-follicles–only these didn’t budge when you smacked them. The once-occasional bags under my eyes had grown more frequent. I started to forget details, to miss birthdays and show up late for appointments. Friends were beginning to crack jokes, claiming I was growing into my golden years. As if my joints aches and slower hangover-recovery times weren’t evidence enough.

At some point a few months ago, that began to change. Stress evaporated slowly from my life, giving way to creative thought and–dare I say–renewed youthfulness. Some silver hairs are still present–a few are here to stay–but many have started to disappear, giving way one by one to the natural brown stalks sprouting from my scalp and chin. As if the preferred Me is reclaiming territory lost in some battle of yesteryear.

On Tuesday, December 16, 2015, I will commemorate a full two years of living home-free. While not all of this has been a cakewalk, the choice to shirk rent and live on the housing-lamb has brought me a measure of contentment I couldn’t have otherwise achieved.

When I started this journey, I called it an experiment. I wasn’t sure what fate was to come of subleasing my apartment and moving into my office. At that time, I was flat broke and borderline depressed. I had car loans, medical bills, and student debt beyond what my budget could muster, event working a second job. I stopped devoting time to the creative arts and wasn’t sure what my future held. The mere question of “Where do you see yourself in five years?” drove up my stress levels, because I didn’t know the answer. My diary entries, which I maintain here despite my revulsion with both the quality of writing and the preoccupation with what others thought of me, reflect the thoughts of a person searching for meaning.

In the two years that have transpired, I’ve not solved all of these problems. I still have student debt and wonder, sometimes, if my writing ambitions are realistic enough to yield the consistent, stable income I so dearly desire. But I’m far from alone in those imperfections. They seem to be both common obstacles (student debt) and general career doubts (am I doing the right thing with my life?) that many struggle to conquer.

Short of claiming perfection or a winner-take-all conquest of some kind, I would like point out some of the victories this lifestyle has afforded me thus far. After two years, my regular readers might be curious what those might be. The numbers, as I calculated earlier tonight, are pretty staggering. And the minor achievements and rewards along the way are fun, too. While there remains a great deal of work to be done in achieving my goals as a result of the decision to live rent-free, it’s nice to know that two years has resulted in some kind of change. Here are the 3 most important consequences, as I see them:

In two years of living rent free, I saved an estimated $29,400.

– With over $28,000 saved in rent costs alone, compared to what I’d have spent staying in my former apartment, that’s a staggering total. Add to that the savings of gas not spent on the commute to work and the number creeps dangerously close to the thirty-thousand dollar mark. This money was used to pay off my car loan, medical bills, enlarge my savings and checking accounts to reasonable amounts. In addition, I was able to afford the outfitting of my truck for comfortable home-free living, take a couple slightly more ambitious vacations, and finance this past half-year off work to devote to my writing. By living in the office, I gained 216 hours of free time courtesy of a zero-minute commute.

– With a calculated 3,250 miles shaved off my daily commute, I saved considerable mileage from being put on my aging vehicle. (Technically, that’s another $50 oil change!) But the real victory was stress away from the rush-hour streets and free time to devote to more important ventures. With this time, I was able to personally design this blog page and write the over 50,000 words that have been published on it. In addition, I’ve initiated other major works, including the first draft of a 30-minute television pilot, the first draft of an 80,000 word book, and the third draft of a 90-minute feature film. I also recorded an EP album–something I’ve always wanted to do, just for fun–thanks to countless hours devoted to improving my novice guitar skills. Much of this was possible thanks to wiping out time wasted on my commute. I’m now a published author.

– A direct result of putting this blog into the world has resulted in exposure that I never dreamed of, including publishing two articles in L.A. Weekly. The confidence to do so has also led me to get back to writing stories, poetry, and third-person journalism, with my first submissions and pitches to journals, contests, and online periodicals beginning this October. I’m also underway on writing The Office Hobo book, and will be heading into my third draft of that soon. Less important than the accomplishments is the confidence to strive to achieve them. Even if I fail at all my attempts, at least I tried. And that was something I hadn’t done before two years ago.

I’m not sure what’s to come over these next couple years. It’s possible that my lifestyle remains the same, and with it the struggle to match my ambitions with some earnings unchanged. Or perhaps there is change afoot. Regardless, I’m thankful that a risky decision to live unusually for a while has yielded me the potential for improvement. Perhaps that’s what was missing in the first place. Perhaps the depression came from the fear of taking a chance to change the course of my life for the better. Or maybe it was simply that the lowest levels on my hierarchy of needs were going unmet, and I had neither the time nor the energy to spend fulfilling the higher ones. Either way, the gray hairs told part of the tale of why change needed to happen.

If nothing else, I’m just glad the brown ones are taking over again.

-TOH