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Hitler finds out that Johnson is going to struggle to compete with Corbyn's new manifesto plan

00:00 - 00:03 Boris Johnson is about to begin his election campaign.

00:04 - 00:05 He'll begin the election trail

00:05 - 00:07 by visiting Addenbrooke's Hospital in Cambridge,

00:08 - 00:12 Then checking up on those caught in the floods in Yorkshire

00:12 - 00:15 ...And he'll finish at a bakery in Glastonbury.

00:17 - 00:19 He's got it in the bag.

00:19 - 00:21 Corbyn doesn't stand a chance.

00:24 - 00:26 Mein Führer,

00:27 - 00:28 Corbyn...

00:31 - 00:33 ...Corbyn's just announced free fibre broadband.

00:34 - 00:36 ...For everyone.

00:53 - 00:58 All those of you who don't have a poster of Maggie Thatcher on your wall, please leave the room.

01:13 - 01:15 Now what the hell am I supposed to do?!

01:15 - 01:17 All this time we've been calling him a Communist

01:18 - 01:23 Despite taking £160k for a game of tennis between Johnson and Putin's minister's wife!

01:25 - 01:28 We're holding the report back though.

01:29 - 01:31 You'll play him soon, Margaret.

01:31 - 01:34 We blamed Labour for the recession

01:34 - 01:37 And used austerity as a means

01:37 - 01:40 To make the poor even poorer!

01:40 - 01:42 We just need to repeat that he's unelectable.

01:42 - 01:46 He's championing a 4 day working week!

01:46 - 01:48 Mein Führer,we know that's impossible!

01:48 - 01:52 Maybe not literally

01:53 - 01:54 But more leave and flexitime!

01:56 - 01:57 Brexit

01:57 - 02:00 We made them believe it was necessary

02:00 - 02:03 And we can make a killing from it!

02:04 - 02:08 We've even managed to win the vote to privatise the NHS

02:08 - 02:13 Without barely raising an eyelid!

02:14 - 02:16 It's within our grasp!

02:17 - 02:21 We just need to get a majority in Parliament

02:27 - 02:29 Even the Lib Dems are behind us

02:30 - 02:34 Swinson may as well be a Tory with her voting record

02:34 - 02:36 We'll settle for another coalition.

02:41 - 02:42 And on top of this

02:43 - 02:47 Jacob Rees-Mogg had the audacity to say

02:48 - 02:53 That he could have escaped the Grenfell fire.

02:54 - 02:56 Why did he have to bring that up?!

02:56 - 02:59 We commissioned a report and blamed the firefighters!

03:00 - 03:02 It's not much but it's the best we could do!

03:04 - 03:07 Just imagine the chaos if it were Corbyn, Jenny.

03:14 - 03:16 We've managed to make cuts to the police

03:19 - 03:23 Education, social care

03:25 - 03:26 And handed it on a plate to G4S

03:31 - 03:33 The NHS was next

03:40 - 03:46 And now it's all going to go down the pan

03:46 - 03:49 Free fucking fibre broadband, for all.