Wiz: Internet fame is a powerful thing.

Boomstick: and these two know what's up!

Wiz: and use their powers for good.

Boomstick: The Angry Video Game Nerd!

Wiz: And Scott The Woz, the Mega-Virgin.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And we're gonna analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who will win a Death Battle.

Contents show]

The Angry Videogame Nerd

Wiz: James Rofle, also known as The Angry Videogame Nerd, always liked videogames ever since his youth.

Boomstick: Until he played E.T. for Atari, Wich screwed him up for life, but that hasn't stopped him, and frankly, I doubt anything can.

Wiz: He's defeated Bugs Bunny, The Nostalgia Critic, Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees, Freddy Kreuger, and two Satans at once.

Boomstick: He's also defeated the Death Mwa-, Maw- Mawuth- uhh Wiz, how do you pronouce that again?

Wiz: *sigh* The Death Mwauthzyx is a Six Dimensional all powerful being who created God and Satan, and planned to destroy the Megaverse and the Ultraverse by flatteing all dimensions into one point.

Boomstick: Thanks Wiz, anyway, The Nerd defeated the guy and saved the world! And he didn't do it alone, he has many trump cards up his sleeves!

Wiz: His powers include Cryomancy, Pyromancy, Flight, Superman-esque Laser eyes, Size Manipulation, Fragokinesis, Reality warping, and he can even perform Ryu's Hadouken and Guile's Sonic Boom.

Boomstick: He's also really strong, able to knock out a Great White Shark with a single punch, lift a mliion ton AC adapter for the Atari 5200, Threw and Independence Day game so hard, it flew across the globe in seven seconds and then exploded, and even shattered the fabric of frigging space just by kicking and punching it!

Wiz: The fabric of space and time CAN be bent, but not torn, and the closest thing we have to a "tear" in the space-time continuum are black holes. So the Nerd must be creating localized black holes!

Boomstick: This guy tanks dynamite explosions to the FACE like they're nothing!

Wiz: One stick of Dynamite is about one megajoule, and Dynamite often comes in packs of seven, so that means that The Nerd took seven megajoules to the face. That's seven million joules of energy, by the way.

Boomstick: He's also survived a galaxy-wide explosion!

Wiz: If we estimate that the explosion is generally just as potent as the energy of a galaxy, and compare said galaxy to our own, that would mean The Nerd was hit with about 20 sextillion Joules of energy.

Boomstick: And I can't take getting dumped...

Wiz: Back on track, he also has stupidly fast reflexes and feats of speed.

Boomstick: He can dodge gunfire from the Nostalgia Critic, lightspeed lasers, caused an explosion that expanded beyond the galaxy, and even has access to the Silver Surfer's board!

Wiz: If we're going by Marvel Comics canon, then this is the same Silver Surfer's board that crossed the universe in a few short minutes.

Boomstick: he also has a lot of equipment always handy, like the Power Glove, the NES zapper, the Super Scope, the Sega Menacer, the Atari 260 Flight Commander gun, Maganavox Oddysey shotgun, a Bow and Arrow, a Katana, a Lightsaber,a Whip, a Flamethrower, Explosives, and His ultimate final form, The Super NES power suit, Wich combines the Roll & Rocker, Power Pad, NES zapper, NES Advantage, U-Force and Power Glove into one bad motherf***er, and on top of ALL that, he can even shapeshift!!!

Wiz: With all of these powers, the people of Earth can sleep easy knowing that The Angry Videogame Nerd will protect them.

Scott The Woz

Wiz: Scott "Will eventually take a look at the first Mega Man" Wozniak was born at "Near that Grey Road" in Virginia, and as a young boy, always expressed interest in Video games, and as a result, grew up playing them, and started a YouTube Channel that has a cult following.

Boomstick: And he's saved the entire timeline from an evil version of RelaxAlax, who tried to enslave everyone with Dick Vitale's It's awesome Baby College Hoops!

Wiz: He's also very strong, able to kick Egro into the sky and out of sight as Abraham. He's also comparable to his friend, who kicked a football out of the atmosphere and into another galaxy in mere seconds. By my estimate, Scott kicked Egro at at least eleven kilometers per second to break the atmosphere.

Boomstick: he's also comparable to RelaxAlax, who tanked a Warlock Punch from Ocarina of Time Gandondorf, is 10 times as powerful as Chara from Undertale, who can destroy the universe in one hit, and is comparable to his cat, who transcends the physical and cognitive universe!

Wiz: Chara destroyed the universe in one hit, and to destroy 10 universes, Scott would have to exert about 4 duovigintillion joules of energy. That's 70 zeros.

Boomstick: Damn! I wish I could lift that much! Maybe then my ex-wife wouldn't have left me...

Wiz: Scott has also shown a great deal of speed feats, such as being able to dodge handgun fire, and in the time it took to download Uncharted: the Nathan Drake collection, he went out and bought the same game physically.

Boomstick: He also has a lot of weapons on his side, like scissors he can use for slashing and stabbing, a bat wich he used to take out an evil arcade cabinet, a Handgun, and a morphing spray wich can turn people into either Batman, a midget, a crossdresser, and god knows what else!?

Wiz: He also has a lot of powers of his own, like being able to vomit out premonitions as to what he should do next, Time Projection, Wich allows Scott to tell his past self important information, and he also seems to have a kind of luck manipulation, and it seems to happen subconsciously, since he's able to throw a cartridge right into a cartridge slot from 3 rooms away without even trying.

Boomstick: he's also very durable, too, being able to survive a room wide explosion, being superior to Tyreesha Jones, who survived a car crash, scales to School Projects! Jumpman, who survived being launched over the horizon, hit with a green shell, and caught in an explosion, superior to Chase, who survived a kick from a 50-foot man, is comparable to Sam, who shook the world a tiny amount, and is comparable to the Tree Exterminator, who was unfazed by a landmine that blew up the freaking Earth!

Wiz: There's a LOT to unpack here, but simply, to shake the Earth a tiny amount, Scott would need about 227 billion Newtons, and to destroy the Earth, the landmine would need to exert about 100 nonillion joules.

Boomstick: damn! That's a lot to wrap your head around!

Wiz:Scott can also use his powers of humility and respect for anime to gain a power boost, and a giant mech.

Boomstick: speaking of mechs, he's also got a Madden 08 mech! This baby can dodge lightspeed lasers, tank building destroying beams, and even defeat the Sega Genesis mech! Wich is comparable to RelaxAlax!

Wiz: Scott the Woz is a beloved figure in gaming, and earned his place in our hearts time and time again.





Pre-Battle

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, and we've run the data through all possibilities. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: And now, IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEEEEEE!!!





Battle

The Nerd is in his basement, talking sh*t about a bunch of football games, and then, he insults Madden 08.

Nerd: MADDEN O' FUCKING EIGHT. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? I swear to God these people just put whatever numbers they fuckin' get out of their ass! mAdDeN tWeNtY oNe! It's not even 2021, can you just fuckin' wait!?

The Nerd throws Madden 08 out the door, but at that moment, Scott catches it.

Scott: You dare insult Madden 08!?

Nerd: Yeah, watcha gonna do?

Scott: This!

FIGHT

Scott leaps at the Nerd and kicks him in the face, and while the nerd is stunned, he combos him and kicks him through the wall, and when Scott attempts to perform another leap kick, the Nerd grabs his foot and slams him on the ground.

Nerd: Take this, asshole!

Nerd shoots him several times with his NES Zapper, and when Scott tries to get up, the Nerd freezes him, and flips him off, Wich blows Scott up, sending him flying to the next street over. Scott pulls out his handgun and shoots the Nerd, and the Nerd parries most of the bullets with his NES Zapper, but one hits him in the chest.

Nerd: Ah, Fuck!

Scott takes this opportunity to take out his scissors and slashes the Nerd in a combo fashion, and then he uses his bat to send him flying upwards, and when the Nerd lands, Scott uses his morphing spray to turn him into a soccer ball and kicks him into another galaxy, and when Scott walks away, the Nerd crashes back into the Earth, causing a massive shockwave that dazes Scott. The Nerd the shoots him with his eye lasers, and Scott is knocked around the globe, and when he comes back, the Nerd hits him with Guile's Sonic Boom, and punches him several times with the Power Glove, and shoots a barrage of F-Bombs at him, and Scott avoids them or parries them, but he's hit by one, Wich leads to him getting hit by several, and Scott is knocked out, and in a dream, Scott meets the Madden 08 spirit.

Spirit: Scott, I will lend you the power of Madden 08 and Anime games, you cannot battle this nerd alone.

Scott: well, I don't know if I could beat him on my own, so anything helps.

Scott then gets up, and a light blue aura surrounds him, as he has unlocked his respect for Anime, and a giant green Anime mech with "Madden 08" written on it's chest.

Scott: Prepare to face The Power of Madden 08 and my respect for Anime.

Nerd: And you prepare to have your fuckin' ass kicked!

The nerd morphs into his super NES power suit, and summons the Silver Surfer's board, and he flies around shooting Scott, as he attempts to catch him. The nerd then crashes into the cockpit of Scott's mech. He fights Scott in the mech, but Scott catches him off guard by spraying himself with the morphing spray and turning into Batman, and he hits him with 3 batarangs, and releases smoke pellets and dissapears, and then he bear hugs the Nerd from behind and electrocutes him with his suit, and with the Nerd dazed, Scott kicks the Nerd out of the mech and across the globe, and all of a sudden, Scott performs a thunder clap that catches the Nerd when he comes back and levels the town, and Scott takes the Board from the ground and snaps it in half, and just as he's about to crush the Nerd, the Nerd turns back time to prevent it.

Scott:Prepare to face the power of Ma-

The Nerd kicks him with a space shattering kick, Wich sends him flying into space, and the two exchange blows there, and the Nerd tries to end the fight with Super Mecha Death Christ, but Scott dissapears, and we cut to Super Mecha Death Christ's code in the digital world, as Scott controls it from there, and Super Mecha Death Christ turns on the Nerd, but the Nerd quickly dispatches him, and Scott returns to the physical world and summons his mech, and in response, the Nerd turns into a giant with the super NES Power suit, and they exchange blows and Scott launches his knuckles at him and his rockets while the Nerd shoots him with his Zapper, Super Scope, and the Konami Laser Scope, and finally, Scott grabs him, and throws him into the sun, but moments later, the sun moves, and the Nerd swings it around and throws it at Scott, and Scott barely dodges it, and then Scott exists his mech and throws his Madden 08 copy at him.

Scott: VINCE YOUNG!!!

The Nerd then punches the projectile, causing a black hole to form, and Scott watches from his mech as The nerd gets sucked in. And then, the hole stops growing, and it's edges start to glow, and a Giant Nerd emerges from it, and exits the black hole, and turns it into energy, and throws it at Scott. It hits and disintegrates him.

Nerd: Better think twice before fucking with ME, asshole!

K.O.

Discussion

Boomstick: I guess virginity didn't win in this timeline.

Wiz: At first glance, it seemed that both combatants had a very decent chance at victory, but upon closer inspection, it was clear who was superior.

Boomstick: Scott may be able to tank planet destroying attacks, but the Nerd can do that too, and can even do better!

Wiz: Scott's comparison to RelaxAlax being 10 times more powerful than Chara pales in comparison to the Nerd managing to defeat the Death Mwauthzyx, a 6 dimensional being who created God and Satan.

Boomstick: and speaking of Satan, the Nerd beat 2 of 'em! At once!

Wiz: let's compare Scott's best feats to the Nerd's. Scott is capable of surviving a 100 nonillion joule blast from a landmine that blew up the Earth, and is capable of destroying 10 universes, Wich equals to around 70 duovigintillion joules.

Boomstick: but the Nerd tanked a Galaxy-wide explosion! And according to Wiz's research, that's 10 Novemdecillion joules! I can't believe I just pronounced that!

Wiz: Credit is where credit is due, of course. Scott is superior to the Nerd in his strength feats, and Scott isn't too far behind the Nerd in terms of speed, but the Nerd Trumps everything else.

Boomstick: yeah, the fact that Scott could technically predict the future didn't help much, because if movies and cartoons have taught me anything, it's that just because you know something's gonna happen, dosen't always mean you can prevent it. Also, morphing spray isn't the best weapon to use against someone who can literally, you know, morph.

Wiz: The Nerd's arsenal was also far superior to Scott's.

Boomstick: yeah, Scott's handgun isn't so impressive when you consider that the Nerd has a whole lot of heavy weaponry, like even better guns, and a bow and arrow. Also, while Madden 08 was powerful when wielded by Scott, it wasn't powerful enough to defeat the Nerd.

Wiz: all in all, The Nerd simply outclassed all of Scott's options.

Boomstick: looks like Scott "Woz'nt" strong enough.

Wiz: The winner is the Angry Videogame Nerd.

The Angry Video Game Nerd 1 of 1 Add photo





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Next time on DEATH BATTLE

Man Bat vs. Man Spider