I watched every second of it while acting frustrated at my desk. George Costanza has taught me many things in life, but his best life lesson is to always look frustrated at work. Frustrated people are busy locking down business deals coast to coast, not YouTubing videos of “dude gets eaten by T-Rex while sitting on toilet”.

So the other day I was perusing around the depths of the internet at work, trying to kill off as much time as possible before 5pm struck. I made my way to a video entitled “All Murders in The Sopranos”, which is legitimately 1 hour and 15 mins long:

Anyways, I was about 30 mins into the Sopranos murder Montage when Tony kills Ralph Siffaretto. It’s been a good 12 years since I’ve watched the episode probably, but both then and now all I thought to myself was while Tony had Ralph pinned on the ground with his meaty hands wrapped around his neck was, “good, fuck Ralph. That guy sucked ass”.

I fired off a tweet about it and said it was one of the more satisfying fictional deaths in TV or movie history. Couldn’t have been happier that that fuckwad got whacked.

Which started a chain reaction of people saying “yo fuck this guy, was so glad he died.” So, without further ado, here are my 5 favorite fictional deaths:

Nina Meyers, 24

What a conniving twat Nina Meyers was. Acting all in Cahoots with Jack Bauer and CTU only to be a Benedict Arnold turn coat bitch. My only regret is that she was let off relatively easy with a gunshot to the abdomen and not by one of Jack Bauer’s patented torture methods

Commodus, Gladiator

Talk about catching a shit break. One day you’re supposed to be the emperor of the Rome, the next day you’re sold into slavery by the former emperor’s son so he can take over the throne. Shit luck through and through. But if it weren’t for Maximus’ shitty luck, we wouldn’t have had the pleasure of watching him shove a skewer into that sister banging cock sucker Commodus’ neck. PS, what kinda emperor has a cleft lip? I thought they threw imperfect babies off cliffs in ancient Rome. Didn’t think they let freak babies with fucked up faces hang around and eventually rule their dynasties. Be better Rome.

Ralph Cifaretto, The Sopranos

Just a piece of shit through and through. Anyone who lays a hand on a woman deserves nothing but the worst, let alone a pregnant woman, let alone an angel like Tracee the stripper, LET ALONE a beautiful philly like Pie o’ Mie. Fucking loser. Couldn’t have been happier when Tony whacked him. That said, he kinda did go out with a bang, his “what are you, a fucking vegetarian? You eat pork and beef by the truckload” quote at Tony will never not be hilarious. Still, fuck that guy. Awful Captain in the Soprano crew and an even worse human

Ramsay Bolton, Game of Thrones

I am extremely remiss putting Ramsay at number 2. If it were up to me there would have been another 10 seasons with him in it. He was the perfect character and even though he was an otherworldly piece of shit, his character was necessary and entertaining. I personally hated seeing him die. That said, his death was perfect at the same time. Any time a fictional character suffers death by a by a bunch of roided out, starving pit bulls, you hit a home run. Even better that it was Sansa who got to carry out his death. Again, I wouldn’t have had him on this list because I could have watched another 100 episodes of the Jon Snow/Ramsay Bolton rivalry, but about 1000 people recommended this to me on Twitter, and I’m a man of the people.

Todd, Breaking Bad

WITHOUT QUESTION the most satisfying fictional death in TV or movie history. Ol Scott Frost lookin’ head ass was a complete and total psychopath with beady eyes and an insatiable appetite for death and the sex with Lydia (who almost made the cut on this list). Not even that but he’s a murderer in two different shows. Fucking killed a guy with blunt force in Friday Night Lights. Todd wasn’t even a good villain; he just sucked. Sucked so much I enjoyed every second of watching him get choked out by Jesse’s handcuffs. Fuck you Todd! You fucking twat!

That’s it. That all the people I love to watch die. If you think I missed anyone send it to me on twitter @BarstoolWSD