‘No alignment with common sense after Brexit’ warns Sajid Javid

Chancellor, Sajid Javid has accepted that businesses will be hit by Brexit and is tackling this by ensuring “there will be no alignment” to any semblance of coherent rationality because we MUST deviate from all EU rules, obviously.

Javid, who is in charge of UK PLC and ensuring the economy, well, you know, actually fucking functions, is masterfully ignoring the concerns of manufacturers and industry at large about effectively ditching just about all commonality with EU regulations, because what do they know, right?

Treasury spokesperson, Simon Williams said, “We understand that the Food and Drink Federation has said that a lack of alignment would be a “death knell” for frictionless trade.

“They’re obviously just thinking of it logically based on years of experience dealing with EU countries. Bless their simple little minds.

“They are clearly just remoaner whinge bags who can’t accept the decision of 17.4 million people, blah-de-fucking-blah. Everyone wants to pay more for food and to see businesses struggle because that’s obviously what they voted for.

“Applying common sense to ensure minimal damage to the economy is not what we were elected to do.

“Anyway, it’s all cool. We’re hammering out the future relationship and we’ve got 11 months to sort it out, which is years away. Confused?

“Think of it like dog years. Why? Because a pointless analogy, which I am not even using correctly, is all I have as filler because I have literally nothing sensible to say.

“Fear not. We are the Treasury and we have absolutely got this.”