Soon after The Good Men Project started, we got some “unusual” critiques. How have we changed?

—

First published Sept 28, 2010

The community at Metafilter is grappling with this question today, as members troll our site and try to figure out if we’re the Vagina Monologues for men. The Scrotum Soliloquies? Here’s a smattering of reactions from people who had never heard of The Good Men Project until yesterday. Whether they think we’re great, or loathe us “with the fire of a thousand suns,” the folks over at Metafilter certainly distinguish themselves as smarter-than-your-average-blog-commenters. Are you? Weigh in below.

♦♦♦

I read a couple of the articles, and I feel like it’s one half Mens’ Health and one half Maxim, with a surprise born-again twist hidden where I can’t quite see it. But maybe that’s not fair—I think I have that feeling because I mostly hear that language of revaluing men and fatherhood these days from evangelical circles; the days of Iron John drums in the wood seems well over and why not commodify sensitive masculinity for the new century?

Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free

So I think it’s a neat idea and I’ll probably keep reading it; I wish them all the luck…

—“Forktine”

♦♦♦

Can a men’s magazine that doesn’t caricaturize men prosper? — I sure as hell hope so.

—zarq

♦♦♦

This is great. (A men’s magazine that acknowledges FTM fellas?! fantastic.)

—“The demon that lives in the air”

♦♦♦

I want to like the site. I’m a liberal guy raised under feminism. I hate it though. I don’t know why. I just do. In fact hate is not strong enough, I loathe it with the fire of a thousand suns.

—“humanfont”

♦♦♦

Maybe part of the problem is their title, which seems like it’s trying to turn into a meme: “good men.” …It can be off-putting when a bunch of people who you’re not necessarily familiar with at all come along and take the attitude of: “We’re such good people! Don’t you want to be good people like us?”

—“John Cohen”

♦♦♦

Reminds me of the guys who went to organizing meetings for Take Back the Night so they could get laid.

—“bardic”

♦♦♦

I mean what if there was an Internet magazine called “The articulate black man project.” It would be pretty obvious why that would be offensive. There is, of course, an image that men are supposedly required to look up to, but like women, like *people* we XY’s are pretty diverse and would like to be judged as, and related to as, people.

—“xetere”

♦♦♦

To say a word in counterpoint to those who object to the notion of a “good man” as opposed to a “good person,” I’d like to point out that the modern left has a tendency, in some quarters, to demonize the very concept of masculinity. A lot of valuable effort is being expended to define positive concepts of what it means to be a woman and a girl, and I have no objection to that. (And by the way, I rarely hear about anyone on the left objecting to defining positive female ideals.) On top of that, there are plenty of valid criticisms to be leveled at certain aspects of traditional gender roles.

But just as it’s important for young women to have a positive notion of what it means to be female, the same thing is important for young men and their gender, as well. These days, the notion of masculinity is occasionally demonized and usually trivialized. What’s left is being redefined in the worst venues (Maxim, etc.) to mean something that is puerile, shallow and completely self-absorbed.

You may think that we can discard notions of “masculinity” and even “gender” as we stride to a more enlightened future…but you’d be wrong. Even if that is something that is one day obtainable, we’re certainly not there yet. In the meantime, boys need to learn how to mature into men of quality, and these shouldn’t be dirty words. Right now, if we’re not teaching them about a worthwhile concept of what it means to be a man, then they’re learning one from beer commercials and lad mags.

Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free

—“Edgewise”

♦♦♦

honestly, I think the most troubling thing about this is probably just the whole manifesto thing. and that’s not all that bad, either. I think a bunch of people have brought up some legitimate concerns about the idea of them sort of defining a “good man,” and the pressures that come with that. and that’s a legit concern. but mostly, it looks like they’re just writing human interest pieces about stuff you don’t see a lot of in other men’s magazines. a poet who loves aquateen hunger force? awesome. stories about faith next to stories about men in the porn industry? great. I like the variety, I like the inclusion. Time will tell if these guys are really working to improve people’s lives, but so far it seems pretty decent to me.

—“shmegegge”

—

photo: Paul Stevenson / flickr