WASHINGTON, DC – According to a poll of NPR hosts, producers, and stakeholders, the Medicare for All program proposed by such democratic presidential candidates as [the Senator from Vermont] is the most unpopular proposal in the history of the world.

“No one supports Medicare for All,” reported Lakshmi Sing, midday reporter for NPR, which is in part funded by Novo Dordisk and Cigna, adding “In fact, we couldn’t find a single person surveyed who thinks it’s a good idea.”

While Medicare for All polled at zero percent, other proposals such as Mayor Pete Buttigieg’s Medicare for All Who Want It, Elizabeth Warren’s “Medicare for All”, as well as Joe Biden’s “Obamacare” are very popular among those polled.

“What we’re seeing is overwhelming support for Elizabeth Warren’s “Medicare for All” program, as well as Mayor Pete’s,” said Steve Inskeep, host of Morning Edition, which is sponsored by Eli Lilly, PhRMA, and Koch Industries, adding “and basically no one in the entire country favoring [the Senator from Vermont]’s Medicare for All plan.”

Programs that have been found to be more popular than Medicare for All include protracted and endless war, Flint Michigan’s water system, and late term abortions, according to NPR, which relies on support of SC Johnson, UnitedHealthcare, the United States Army, and the Shell Oil Company to remain on air. Other progressive agenda items such as the Green New Deal, Tuition-Free College, and increased taxes on the wealthy, while wildly unpopular, are seen slightly more favorable than Medicare for All as proposed by [the Senator from Vermont].

“Can we take a minute to talk about Mayor Pete Buttigieg? His calm demeanor and back to basics approach is truly resonating with voters. Would you say his is reminiscent of the underdog campaign of Barack Obama in 2008?” asked Audie Cornish, host of All Things Considered to no one in particular.

“People want comprehensive healthcare reform,” NPR CEO John Lansing told BeetPress, adding “and whether the best approach is a framework, a glide path, or a pathway toward the long-term goal of universal coverage is a discussion we’re going to continue having across our platform of exciting news and information programming. I urge all our listeners to join our Cornerstone Society by making a $1200 annual contribution to any of our NPR stations.”

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