Kenosha Church Ministers To Former Caregivers, Those In Mourning On Christmas

BY DANIEL GAITAN | daniel@lifemattersmedia.org

Amid the campy songs, shiny gifts and colorful lights, it’s easy to forget that some people are having a difficult time this holiday season.

People facing terminal illness, the death of a loved one or loneliness may find the holidays overwhelming, said Minister Judith Tench of First United Methodist Church in Kenosha, Wis.

That’s why this weekend, she will lead a special “Blue Christmas” service to help people in mourning honor their loved ones and meditate on the divine.

“Christmas is a painful time for many people, and it can be their first Christmas without someone they loved,” Tench told Life Matters Media. “People are constantly reminded on television and in stores that it’s supposed to be a joyful time, but it may not be for everybody.”

The annual “Blue Christmas” service is open to all. It was started five years ago by the Rev. Kathy Nuzzo, a member of Stephen Ministries, a Christian nonprofit offering free grief support and counseling. After Nuzzo’s retirement from First United, Tench continued the tradition.

“This service gives people the chance to be in a worship setting and find some comfort and hope,” Tench said. “As Christians, we’re more than just celebrating the holiday. The death of Christ is why we’re Christians, and he came to comfort people who were hurting.”

The service won’t consist of “Jingle Bells” or “O Come All Ye Faithful.” Tench favors more contemplative hymns accompanied by harp.

Near the end of the service, attendees are given the opportunity to light candles for loved ones and sit in silence. After that, some will stay for coffee and cookies so they may chat with trained Stephen Ministers.

“It makes Christmas just a little more tolerable,” she said. “We’ll continue this until nobody shows up, I guess.” About three dozen people attend each year, and many aren’t even members of the church. This year, flyers are plastered at local coffee shops and the local newspaper will cover it.

Nuzzo hopes more houses of worship adopt similar programs.

“The colors of Christmas are bright and cheerful, but there’s nothing about Christmas that meets the needs of people who can’t tolerate all that cheer,” she added. “Some people just try to get through the day, and more and more people are needing this.”

St. Louis-based Stephen Ministries aims to help equip and empower lay caregivers— so-called Stephen Ministers —to provide confidential and Christ-centered support to people in need.

“I have heard so many great stories,” program coordinator Amity Haugk told LMM. “When people don’t know where to turn, they turn to us. We help them avoid self-destructive behaviors.”

Ministers are trained in “incarnational theology” and often devote at least one hour each week to their clients. They must be skilled listeners.

Their motto: Christ caring for people through people.

“We may meet at a person’s home or coffee shop, wherever,” she said. “We’re present for them and we listen to them. We share Jesus’ love and presence.”

Since 1975, more than 600,000 people from more than 12,000 congregations and other organizations have been trained as Stephen Ministers, according to the organization.