The rest is still unwritten: What happened to the cast of ‘The Hills’?

It’s official – the world has run out of new ideas and we’re all just doomed to relive and recycle moments from the past that make us nostalgic for a simpler time. And it doesn’t get much more simple than The Hills – the latest show to be enjoying a reboot.

The seminal reality show is coming back to TV as The Hills: New Beginnings, but it’ll be doing so without Lauren Conrad or her infamous bestie-yet-enemy Kristin Cavallari (who has her very own reality series called Very Cavallari on E!). However, at the MTV VMAs, the cast members who will be making a return to the show teased the return of The Hills to MTV.

Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, Audrina Patridge, Jason Wahler, and even the more minor stars like Frankie Delgado, Justin Bobby Brescia, and Stephanie Pratt remained coy about why they were in attendance. But on Monday it become absolutely clear: A promo unveiled by MTV announced that The Hills: New Beginnings will be bringing the show back to our screens.

We don’t know exactly how to feel about all this. One the one hand, we can’t deal with any reboots – but on the other, this is exactly the sort of trashy bottomless pit of superficial nonsense that we can’t help but hatewatch and love every second of. To catch you up on where the original cast members of The Hills have been since the show ended in 2010, here’s a roundup.

Lauren Conrad

As well as storming off The Eric Andre Show (for obvious and kinda gross reasons we won’t go into in case you’re eating your lunch), Conrad has been the most successful of the original cast.

After leaving the show, she become a bestselling author and has released four successful books that are actually terrific reads so long as you’re comfortable with embracing your inner need for guilty pleasures.

Conrad has also launched her own fashion line (reportedly the reason why she isn’t joining the reboot), had a baby, and married guitarist William Tell. She’s fucking killing it, ladies and gentlemen.

Whitney Port

First of all, Port went on to lead her own reality show The City – which we’d argue was in many ways actually better than The Hills.

After that ended in 2010, she enjoyed some other scraps of screen time as a judge for one season of Britain’s Next Top Model and in the romantic comedy What to Expect When You’re Expecting in which she had a small cameo.

But Port also conspicuously stepped back from the spotlight after announcing her engagement to Tim Rosenman (a former producer of The City) in 2013. They got hitched two years later and had a kid together in 2017 and she’s been keeping a fairly low profile the whole time.

Audrina Patridge

Listen, in our eyes Patridge may be the most successful former original cast member of The Hills thanks to her appearance in the slasher trashterpiece Sorority Row in 2009.

It’s a gloriously dreadful movie and Patridge brings Paris Hilton in House of Wax levels of campy delights to her role as a prankster turned corpse.

Since then she’s done some random odd acting work in projects we’ve never heard of (and never hope to see) and has worked as a presenter for NBC. Her reportedly turbulent marriage to dirt biker Corey Bohan resulted in divorce and a restraining order, so let’s leave that one be.

Kristin Cavallari

After a series of underwhelming bit parts and a 2011 stint on Dancing with the Stars (a.k.a. I’ll Dance So My Career Doesn’t Die), Cavallari created her own shoe collection and lifestyle brand and seems to be doing alright in life.

In 2013 she married Jay Cutler and the two have a pair of children together, so that’s nice.

Heidi Montag

Oh boy – Montag’s story since leaving The Hills has been an interesting one. She failed to launch her movie career (including understandably losing a role in Transformers to Megan Fox) and also failed to launch her grimace-inducing attempt at a music career.

She’s since enjoyed more success by taking advantage of her tabloid appeal and returning to reality TV, including multiple Big Brother stints (and other such similar shows) alongside husband Spencer Pratt. Yes, they’re still together.

Spencer Pratt

Pratt has done little to endear the public to him since being one of the most infamous assholes ever seen on TV in The Hills. He’s popped up in various reality shows with his wife and has remained a tabloid fixture for various asinine reasons.

Pratt and Montag nearly divorced after The Hills ended, but they’ve continued to work on their relationship (mostly in public like on the show Celebrity Marriage Bootcamp) and have since welcomed a little sprog (and likely future reality star) into the world.

Jason Wahler

Most fans of The Hills will remember Wahler for the high drama of his romance with Conrad. These two crazy kids just couldn’t make it work and tapped out of the relationship (as well as the show) before its official end.

Wahler’s struggles with alcohol and substance abuse issues since the leaving the show are well documented. However, he’s long since cleaned up his act and has even opened a sobriety facility in Orange County to help others struggling through similar experiences.

Brody Jenner

Jenner was a total player on the show, having hit up both Conrad and her frenemy Cavallari. Once he’d quit the show, he moved onto being Avril Lavigne’s real life Sk8er Boi (we hate that we just pulled that reference out of the ass of 2010) – he even got a tattoo of her name. True love!

Except they broke up after a couple of years. Jenner has obviously gone on to star in Keeping Up With the Kardashians (because d’uh) and in 2015 landed his own series – the horrifically titled Sex with Brody where the reality figure dished out sex and relationship advice. It was not good.

Justin Bobby

Bobby and Patridge brought some serious drama to The Hills with their fledgling romance (was any single couple genuinely happy on this show? Why didn’t we think all this unhappiness was wrong as teenagers?! Whatever). Maybe that’s why Bobby has swerved the reality TV spotlight altogether since leaving.

Appropriately, the dude with the best hair on the show went on to set up his own successful haircare empire and he now has salons across the US. Oh, and he’s also in a band called Bobby Rocks which doesn’t require any further investigation – trust us on this.