Let’s be honest - leaders talk a lot.

We attend board meetings, sit on committees, make speeches, run breakout groups. Some of us do speaking tours, others do counselling sessions. We preach Sunday sermons, and share our stories with friends and strangers alike. We cast a vision, share the strategy, and lead the way. Leaders communicate.

The Bible makes it pretty clear that communication is important - saying that we need to guard our tongues, and that if we talk too much, sin is bound to pop up. We need to cultivate a vocabulary that reflects our values. In doing so, we must learn a few words that seldom appear in the average leader’s lexicon.

Here are the five most important words in a leader’s vocabulary.

1. Yes

Leaders are busy. Everyone makes demands on their time. It’s easy to put up walls and say no to everything, especially from people that we don’t know really well.

My writing mentor, Mark Buchanan, didn’t know me from Adam when I Skyped him from the rainforests of Costa Rica and asked to intern with him, but he said yes. I’m so grateful he did - I learned so much about writing and leadership, and it opened up a whole host of new opportunities for me. And I was able to give back, too, by contributing to his church in meaningful ways. Our friendship has continued to grow over the years, and my aim is to make his “yes” one of the best decisions he ever made.

Leaders need to cultivate curiosity and openness. They need to be willing to try new experiences, cultivate new relationships, and entertain new ideas. Who knows what doors will open when you say yes.

2. No

On the other hand, it’s easy to say yes to everything and take on far too much. Leaders can get bogged down by time-wasting activities, energy-sapping side projects, and soul-sucking relationships.

For the sake of the things that truly matter - their relationship with God, their family, and their calling - leaders need to simplify their lives in order to create a margin of time for rest and restoration. By saying no, leaders free time to say yes.

3. Please

This comes down to basic manners and politeness. Leaders are often so busy that requests are made on the fly. Leaders need to slow down and realize that followers need to know that they are respected.

A gracious manner and a kind word can go a long way in helping followers know that you truly care, and that you don’t simply assume they’re up for every task you want to delegate.

4. Thanks

The art of gratitude is a skill that few leaders have mastered, certainly myself included. It’s easy to assume that, because we’re thanklessly working hard towards our mission, everyone else should do the same.

Showing gratefulness signals to followers that you see them, love them, and value their contribution. Gratitude - in word and deed - tells people that they matter, and encourages them to stay on mission.

5. Help

A leader without followers is just a freelancer. It takes a team to build a great organization, and it takes an army to win a war. The task of the leader isn’t simply to do their job - it’s to invite others to join them on a journey. Leaders need to be willing to ask for help - and not only with their mission. Leaders must be willing to seek out good counsellors, mentors, and accountability.

A leader’s need for help extends beyond their community too. Leaders need to spend time, every day, with God in prayer. Without His help, they’re simply working with their own efforts, when they could be following a master craftsman instead.

Even leaders can’t do it alone.