Kids grow up so fast these days, but apparently not fast enough for some people. Thanks to overly zealous parents hellbent on fast-tracking their progeny through life, infants are dropping beats at Baby DJ School and 5-year-olds are working the pole at weekly kids pole-dancing classes, proving it's never too late to have the cool, hip childhood you dreamed of ... albeit lived vicariously through your offspring.

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"Look, I don't know what these are either. Just leave some laying around near your laptop."

Maybe these kids really do want to be the next Paul Oakenfold or Gypsy Rose Lee, but it's way more likely that most of these activities are pursued to fulfill some sort of unrequited fantasy on the part of mom or dad. No harm, no foul, right? While pretending your 3-month-old has any interest in learning how to beat match is mostly just a benign exercise in parental ego-stroking, there are certain activities that really aren't for kids. Youngins don't have the capacity to make an educated, informed choice in the matter, so they are forced to rely on the guidance of the grown-ups around them. Are these guardians doing their charges a disservice by allowing them to pursue activities that REALLY should be for fully formed adults only?