On the nuclear button, there’s a sticky note that says, “DO NOT FIRE.” There are also similar notes on various staff members, including Generals H.R. McMaster and John Kelly, and a very big one on special counsel Robert Mueller.

Despite multiple warnings that he not congratulate Russian President Vladimir Putin on his victory, President Trump congratulated Russian President Vladimir Putin on his victory, but then reportedly got very mad that people found out. He was probably embarrassed that everyone now knows he was warned in capital letters in a briefing packet: “ DO NOT CONGRATULATE .” But it turns out that’s routine for this administration, and he gets notes like that all the time.


At Mar-a-Lago, on the tricky seventh hole blind, where a dogleg means nobody can really see where your ball lands, there’s a note that says, “DO NOT CHEAT HERE!” There is also one of these on the East Wing bedroom and on a pendant that Melania wears.

In his office, he keeps a signed picture of Martha Stewart, where she wrote, and then carefully trimmed in rickrack, the famous saw “THE COVER-UP IS ALWAYS WORSE THAN THE CRIME,” a warning which is also on the “second” mirror his barber/stylist uses each day during his coiffing sessions.

There are also some notes POTUS seems to have misinterpreted. There’s a “DO NOT TOUCH” warning on his electronic “Little Black Book” from his days as a Manhattan bachelor, but it’s right next to the spell-check button on his devices where he does all of his tweeting.

A former campaign policy adviser once left a note that simply said, “CONCERN RE: YOUR RED TIES,” and ever since he’s almost never seen not wearing one. The same person also warned “STONE: NO GOOD,” and he immediately sent his butler out to Graff to upgrade Melania’s engagement ring, and never stopped talking about “my ICE problem,” which was then misinterpreted by that staffer.


Rather than point the finger at his West Wing staff, Trump should look for those loose lips in the kitchen. Just the other day the chef received an explicit note from Trump himself, where he clearly spelled it out: “DOCTOR’S ORDERS: MORE LEAKS!”

Debra A. Klein is a writer. Follow her on Twitter @IWishIHadTyped.