This article was a parody published on April 1, 2016.

The New York Times has decided that it cannot cover Sheldon Adelson’s involvement in American politics because doing so accurately would entail the use of classic anti-Semitic tropes of Jewish influence.

The judgment was rendered by public editor Margaret Sullivan, who wrote in a April 1st goodbye note to readers: “We’d really like to cover the Republican candidates’ appeals for Adelson’s support, but we can’t do so because the reporting would inevitably bring up anti-Semitic stereotypes.”

“I mean, here we have a rich Jewish casino magnate trying to buy political candidates to support an international Jewish cause, in this case support for the Jewish state of Israel,” Sullivan continued. “Do I have to draw an anti-Semitic cartoon to make it any clearer for you?”

As if that wasn’t enough, Sullivan also pointed out that Adelson is also feeding such vicious stereotypes by appearing to influence the media, through his purchase of the popular Israeli daily Israel Hayom and The Las Vegas Review-Journal. “In the end we just decided to wash our hands of the subject,” Sullivan said. “It hurts as a journalist, but the tropes—the tropes!”

One gadfly website said The Times decision may have been influenced by the fact that Sheldon Adelson and Haim Saban, who supports Democratic candidates who love Israel, openly discussed buying the Times last year. Sullivan denied this was a factor. “There you go again—Jews control the media, that’s a classic anti-semitic trope,” she tweeted. “What’s next, banks?”

Every other American mainstream newspaper and broadcast publication has observed a similar inhibition about covering Adelson. Times columnist Tom Friedman said everyone is wary of anti-semitic tropes. “Let’s just put it this way, after I said the Congress was bought and paid for by the Israel lobby, I got crucif—sorry, I couldn’t get arrested on Broadway.”