A woman working in Silicon Valley responds to Vanity Fairy’s sensationalized, “‘Oh My God, This Is So F — -ed Up’: Inside Silicon Valley’s Secretive, Orgiastic Dark Side” Testing78378 Follow Jan 7, 2018 · 3 min read

Our friend is an attractive woman working in Silicon Valley. While she’s attended sex parties with us, she’s not really participated and identifies as monogamous. She read the now-infamous Vanity Fair article, “'Oh My God, This Is So F — -ed Up’: Inside Silicon Valley’s Secretive, Orgiastic Dark Side,” and her response is… well, you’ll see.



This is a really fucked up article. And, not for the reasons the author presumed “EVERYONE WOULD AGREE” are fucked up.

First, that girl who went to the rich guy orgy party and “nervously” took Molly, then made out with a married man after asking for consent from his wife, is a numbnut. I mean, she acts all violated, but it’s like, BITCH, YOU’RE shaming YOURSELF. You shouldn’t have made out with that guy you didn’t want to make out with. Once you’re done, tell him straight up, “I don’t want anymore from you. Back off.” Just running away doesn’t really communicate the message! Use your words, dear, USE YOUR WORDS.

Then “Ava” says, I can’t raise money, cuz I’m a girl. I mean, it’s true, it’s harder for women to raise money. But, you can. Just be really amazing and impressive and work around the hurdles you know are in front of you and win. I’m one of the highest paid people at my company, which is filled with men. And, I’m a lady. That isn’t a mistake.

BUT, the slut shaming is totally real. I have friends who raise LOADS of money, who are male, and they’re expected or more like peer pressured to go take drugs at strip clubs with their investors (but, honestly, lots of people don’t take drugs to raise money). Yeah, being seen as a woman who has sex and is fun does hurt your reputation, and that’s not at all just in Silicon Valley. I wore short shorts in Europe, and the world freaked out. Europeans have this reputation for being all sex-positive and sexy and free, but much of that is undeserved. France is depicted as a nation of libertines, but wear short shorts or yoga pants and everyone FREAKS OUT.

This whole article thing isn’t about SF being backwards. Treating women who like sex badly has been the problem we’re dealing with since the beginning. The writer says, “Many participants don’t seem the least bit embarrassed, much less ashamed.” No shit! That’s because sex parties are FUN. Why be ashamed? I know… because she’s another female slut shamer. Thanks, lady, for holding us back.



And, it’s annoying, but honestly, I’m not the one holding equality back. It’s the slut shamers. It’s also the girls who still think they can Marilyn Monroe (or Monica Lewinsky, a less successful example) their way into success. The “predators” aren’t dumb. They learned these moves because THEY WORK. Money, fame, false promises. Women say yes to those things, even if they regret it later. This is all old news, and most likely, your mom warned you about it. And, if not, loads of 90s movies did. Like, get over it and do things that make you feel good and empowered. And stop blaming your missteps on “men” and “society.” I mean, it’s a mess, but these chicks need to stop making it more of a mess by making excuses. A cold, clear look at their actions would be better for isolating what they could do in the future to avoid or get beyond mistakes.

I wish this article didn’t portray women as weak and incapable of knowing what we want. But I guess that’s how Ava and the nervous Molly girl behave.

Sorry for the mini-essay. I love this topic and it really works me up. I treat myself like a man, I don’t fuck people I want respect from, and look: you get respect. I hold myself to the same rules I give the guys.