Magic Story Abridged: The Fourth Pact

(Episode 2; Full Story HERE)

Art by Chase Stone



APPROXIMATELY TWO HUNDRED YEARS AGO

DOMINARIA

Liliana, a teenager: I must find [Esis Root] so that I can cure my sick and dying brother!

Raven, a bird: Caw! Caw!

Liliana: Shut up, bird!

Raven, a man: I’m not actually a bird! I’m a man!

Liliana: Shut up, man!

Raven Man: Witches burned down the forest. [Esis Root] is gone.

Liliana: But I need it!

Raven Man: You could… do the thing.

Liliana: What thing?

Raven Man: The thing. You know. THE THING.

Liliana: …How do you know I can do the thing?

Raven, a bird: Caw caw?





Art by Chris Rahn



(Liliana goes into the dark forest. She encounters WITCHES. She summarily defeats them with black magic, gains 200 XP, 100 GP, and a [Dead Esis Root]. )

(Liliana cast’s [Raise] on the [Dead Esis Root]. She obtains a [Strangely Glowing Esis Root].)





LILIANA’S HOME

Ana, a real doctor: Liliana, you’re back! Did you bring [Esis Root]?

Liliana, an apprentice healer with the wrong kind of training: Here it is!

Ana: Why is it glowing?

Liliana: I made it better!

Ana: What? How? What did you do to it? We can’t just feed your brother an untested medicine without proper examination of…

Liliana: TOO LATE! DOING MEDICINE!

(Liliana feeds her brother, Josu, the [Strangely Glowing Esis Root])

Josu: Brains?

Ana: What did you do?!?

Liliana: I think it’s clear by now that I have no idea.

Josu: BRAAAAAAAAINS!

(Josu rises, attacks)





Art by Izzy



Liliana: DOOM BLADE! DARK BANISHING! TERROR!

Josu: BRAAAAAAAAINS!

(Josu continues attacking, kills a bunch of servants.)

Liliana: Vendetta? Expunge? Annihilate? Why aren’t any of my spells working?!?

Josu: BRAAAAAAAAINS!

(More servants die. Liliana panics)

Liliana: ZOMBIFY!

(Undead servants attack Josu. Liliana continues panicking. Liliana flees ACROSS TIME AND SPACE which is sort of weird because usually these things happen at the moment of insanity but for Liliana it occurs as soon as she seems to have things pretty much well in hand, but hey, I’m a goblin, not a novelist.)





Art by Izzy







ABOUT ONE HUNDRED YEARS LATER

PARTS UNKNOWN, MAYBE BOLAS’ MEDITATION PLANE, MAYBE AMONKHET, I DON’T KNOW

Liliana, an old woman: Eternal dragon, grant me my wish! I ask to be made immortal!

Nicol Bolas, a thirty thousand year old dragon: …Sorry, no can do.

Liliana: What? Aren’t you the strongest being in the multiverse?

Nicol Bolas: Up there, sure, but I can give you another hundred years, tops. Aren’t you a necromancer? Why aren’t you a lich? Or a vampire? Or a mummy? Or a -

Liliana: Ew. Gross. Being undead is gross. Nobody wants to be undead.

Nicol Bolas: Then my only advice is making deals with four powerful demons.

Liliana: You mean sell my soul?

Nicol Bolas: You murdered five angels on the way over here. You don’t have a soul. No, they just need you to run fetch quests for them. Horrible, vile fetch quests of pure darkness and despair!

Liliana: So normal fetch quests, then? I can work with that.





AN INDETERMINATE AMOUNT OF TIME LATER

PARTS UNKNOWN, BUT DIFFERENT PARTS UNKNOWN

Liliana, a slightly older old woman: Alright, big scary demon monster. I’ve been through this with Griselbrand, Razaketh, and Belzenlok already. Let’s just get this over with.

Kothophed, a big scary demon monster: DIE!

Liliana: Wait, what?





Art by Tianhua X



(Kothophed attacks! Liliana unleashes zombies, black magic, and more Liliana’s Specters than she’s legally allowed to run in a deck. Kothophed wrecks them all.)

(Kothophed proceeds to grab Liliana and cut her in half. A younger, sexier Liliana is revealed within.)

Kothophed: You see, Liliana, your true beauty was on the inside! Also, I can literally tear you in half if you ever betray me. Now hold still.

(Kothophed carves his name on Liliana so everyone will know she’s his. Also, a bunch of swirly symbols that do vaguely defined magic things. Maybe a +4.)

Younger, sexier Liliana: Great! Thanks for the help! Everything went perfectly! I will now be a good girl who does exactly what you want. On a completely unrelated note, I’m off to figure out how to murder four demons. Bye!



