Of all the plot twists of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, the most unbelievable occurs in the film’s credits, where comedians Ben Schwartz and Bill Hader are revealed as the “voice consultants” behind the bleep bloop whrrrr-ing droid BB-8. Schwartz talked to GQ about what the hell that means and how to hide the most exciting secret on earth from everyone you know.

GQ: So I guess my first question is: What the fuck?

Ben Schwartz: (laughs)

Could you please explain to me: What the fuck?

Sure! I’m a huge fan of J.J. I worked with him on [the NBC series] Undercovers, and we’ve collaborated before. He got in touch and said, “Hey, I’m figuring out what BB-8 sounds like…Why don’t you come in and help me fiddle around and experiment?” I remember being so excited—and then also right away he was like, “And you can’t tell anyone.”

Was he just like, “I know who has a voice—Ben Schwartz”?

I think he thinks I’m funny. He wanted this new droid to have personality and be warm and funny. The coolest thing about J.J. is that he’s working on what could be the biggest movie of all time, and he’s still down to collaborate with a Muppet-man like me—a stupid idiot like me. As a collaborator he’s wonderful. Every step of the way he’s brilliant.

" Anytime J.J. emailed me about Star Wars, I would sign my emails with the BB-8 emoji. 'Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow,' and then 'Alright, see you then—BB-8!'"

Did you have lines to say?

For a couple days, J.J. and I thought, What do you think [BB-8’s] saying here? The actual words weren’t gonna be used, but the cadence—how I talk and stuff like that—would be used to inform how the droid would talk. The scenes were already edited, so he was like, “Let’s have you talk into the microphone, as if this droid is talking back to the actors in the scene.” And it was so much fun.

We tried having me talk into a mic that synthesized the voice immediately, and that kind of worked. I cannot express to you how fun it was. We just played. We had every synthesizer.

So did BB-8 almost have a voice like C-3PO at one point—where it was clearly recognizable as a voice?

It was never going to be just me talking. It was always getting someone who could translate the droid “voice” and give it personality. They got Bill Hader to start doing it as well, ’cause Bill’s incredible and has that same cadence of being funny and warm, but he and I didn’t overlap in the edit studio. In the end, I don’t even know if anything we did is in the movie! I’m not sure what the final process was, but ultimately [J.J.] got to try everything he wanted to. And actually seeing the scenes before anybody else—it was so exciting! It was a dream come true. It was so hard not to tell people. And I didn’t.

Did you tell your parents?

I did. But, like, my best friend didn’t know. It felt like such an insane opportunity that if I screwed it up by telling somebody, I would feel destroyed.

You could have gone up to one person at a bus stop months ago and whispered, “I did BB-8,” and then vanished.

People would be makin’ jokes about the droid and being like, “Ohmygod, it’s so cool!” and I’d be like, “Ya gotta love that droid! Pretty cool, huh? Pret-ty cool.” I remember when emojis came out for all the characters. Anytime J.J. emailed me about Star Wars, I would sign my emails with the BB-8 emoji. So it was like, “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow,” and then “Alright, see you then—BB-8!”

How long did you have to wait to tell people?

I didn’t tell anybody! Someone announced it online, and I retweeted it. I knew that I was in the credits, so people who are geeky like me who watch every moment of the credits would see it.

When you watch the finished scenes, can you detect any of yourself in there?

I have no idea. There could be zero of me in there. I remember when I first got the call, in my head I was like, “Oh, my god, I’m gonna help out with Star Wars—but! You’ll never hear my voice and you’ll never see my face.”

What were things you guys imagined that little robot saying? It’s not a human, so it probably wouldn’t react to situations exactly as a human would.

I can’t say! I’m psyched, but I’m a little nervous because I'm not sure how much I’m allowed to say. I was like, “Hey, I’ve gotten a lot of requests for interviews—if someone asks me, am I allowed to talk about it?” J.J. was like, “Yeah!” But the last thing I want is for people to be pissed at me.

Now that the secret’s out, can you call up Harrison Ford and pal around? “Hey! We made a movie together.”

I would never.