Hey guys! How are you? You’re doing awesome, you say? That’s pretty awesome, I’m doing awesome myself. And you know why? Because I’ve been playing Ragnarok Odyssey for PS Vita. In English.

[Insert gasps of excitement here]

Are you ready to stand taller than giants? You should be, because that’s what this game is all about. One day, a passage along the Millennium Peaks gives humans access to the long-sealed off Sundered Land, and because they’re really lucky, it’s filled to the brim with mighty beasts that seem to want nothing more than to destroy mankind’s territory — Trogdor-style. Only they’re not dragons with handsomely chiseled arms, they’re ugly Giants. Giants who like to smash things.

That’s where you come in. You’re a mercenary on the front lines, and once you choose your sex, job class, and how cute you are (by way of hair style/color, skin color and voice type), you’re ready to drop in on Fort Farthest like a bat out of hell. And don’t worry, you’re only restricted to your default job class for a short time — you’ll soon be able to go from hacking and slashing as a Sword Warrior to creating miniature explosions as a Mage with a mere wardrobe change. And even that won’t be a limitation soon enough, because I’m sure some of you would prefer to be dressed like you just walked out of a western while whacking things upside the head as a Hammersmith, right?

There are myriad lands with different environmental themes to discover in the Sundered Land, each with their own badass brand of monsters and Giants waiting to put their jaws (or slime — actually, that sounds kind of wrong, just go back to jaws) around your pretty little head. Accompanying these landscapes is a combat system that’s fast-paced and all-over-the-screen in the best kinds of ways. Battle your enemies using an arsenal of weapons at your disposal depending on your class, building what the title calls “tension” — the more tension you build, the more powerful, flashier and just all-around more awesome your specialized attacks will be. Thrust your enemies into the air, leaving them defenseless to your blows, or use the knockback ability to drive them clear off the screen.

What else does this game have? Well, there’s certainly more. Way more than I could possibly explain in one blog entry. But for now, I’ll leave you with one more fun fact: remember the beloved Porings in Ragnarok Online? They’re back. And you can wear them. On your head. So now that that little gem’s been unveiled, be patient girls and boys and we’ll talk again soon, okay?