But obviously there's a sharp line between, for instance, the bully at school accusing me of being gay and Wong doing it. It can be the exact same words, but they mean the opposite because of the relationship we have. Likewise, both myself and my best friend make wife-beating jokes around our womenfolk, and they laugh every time, right before we make them get their asses in the kitchen and leave us menfolk to our thinkin' talks. The reason is because they know we don't beat them, and fail to beat them so much that the idea of us even attempting it becomes kind of funny.

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Man, that just gets funnier every time I see it!

But what is "obvious" to us isn't so obvious to a 10 year-old. So now imagine my kids overhearing those jokes. And then imagine them using those words toward the girls at school. Or their female teachers. So it becomes my job to make this often very fuzzy distinction very clear ("But why can the rapper use that word?") and to try to walk them through all of the many layers of irony under which I live my life. It eventually comes down to telling them to just not attempt the ironic slur thing at all, because all it takes is one teacher or coworker to take you seriously, and your ass is done.

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"Sir, we need to talk to you about your son's art project."

Yes, Daddy can do it because he is paid to do it and because he is a master of the art. Some day you, too, will possess the maturity and life perspective to safely tell your best friend to go surf a tidal wave of dicks. You'll understand when you're older.

Hopefully.

For more Cheese, check out 5 Ways to Avoid Your Terrible Parents' Mistakes and 12 Things You'll Wish You'd Never Seen Under a Microscope.