Not everyone can live the life of an Internet comedy writer, sipping on Thunderbird and eating real Kraft macaroni and cheese (not that knock off shit the peasants eat). As we understand it some people out there have thankless jobs that are not only devoid of riches and glamour, but actually can cause you harm.

10 Chimney Sweep's Scrotum Cancer

Back in Victorian times, part of the chimney sweep job description was to go naked into the smaller chimneys because for some reason cleaning out caked on carcinogens whilst fully clothed just wasn't funny or sadistic enough for Victorian sensibilities. There was no higher form of entertainment back then than a decrepit, cancer-ridden chimney sweep with an ass crack Spackled shut with decades-old soot.

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Unfortunately for the chimney sweep, a lifetime of this kind of work lead to chimney sweep's cancer, or Cancer Scroti, because any disease that happens to your scrotum is just that much more depressing. Malignant sores referred to as "soot wart" would appear, and then spread like a tiny, crusty army. At first it was thought to be a venereal disease, as chimney sweeps were apparently known for being sooty gigolos, but eventually it was diagnosed as the first occupational cancer.



This is your scrotum on soot. Any questions?

Seeing as this took place in an age when medicine hadn't graduated much beyond putting leeches on stab wounds and drinking tea to overcome broken limbs the cure was to cut off the "affected portions". Surprisingly the cure almost never worked, and the newly sackless sweeps would invariably die of some form of internal cancer. It does explain why those lovable Cockney chimney sweeps in Mary Poppins sang such a sweet soprano, though.