Yeah, I lef home when the kid was three.

It sure felt good to be fancy free

Tho I knew it wasnt quite the fatherly thing to do.

But that kid kept screamin and throwin up

And pissin in his pants til I had enough

So just for revenge I went and named him Sue.

It was Gatlinberg in mid July

I was gettin' drunk but gettin' by

Gettin' old and going from bad to worse

When thru the door with an awful scream

Comes the ugliest queen Ive ever seen

He says my name is Sue. How do you do?

Then he hits me with his purse.

Now this aint the way he tells the tale

But he scratched my face with his fingernails

And then he bit my thumb

and kicked me with his high-heeled shoe.

So I hit him in the nose, and he started to cry

And he threw some perfume in my eye

And it sure aint easy fightin with a boy named Sue.

So I hit him in the head with a caned-back chair

And he screamed, Hey Dad, you mussed my hair!

And he hit me in the navel and knocked out a piece of my lint.

He was spittin' blood. I was spittin teeth.

And we crashed through the wall and out into the street

A-kickin and gougin' in the mud and the blood and the crème de menth.

Then out of his garter he pulls a gun.

Im about to get shot by my very own son.

Hes screamin' about Sigmond Freud and lookin' grim.

So I thought fast and I told him some stuff

How I named him Sue just to make him tough.

And I guess he bought it, cuz now Im livin' with him.

Yeah, he cooks and sews and cleans up the place.

He cuts my hair and shaves my face.

And irons my shirts better than a daughter could do.

And on the nights that I cant score,

Well, I cant tell you anymore.

Sure is a joy to have a boy named Sue.

Yeah, a son is fun,

But its a joy to have a boy named Sue.