This is a video of Irish Wolfhound Keon showing off his world's longest dog tail, measuring an impressive 76.8cm (30.2 inches) from beginning to end of the bones. That's some tail! My dog's tail is only like ten inches and she still manages to knock shit off the coffee table, so I could only imagine living with Keon. Also, not to rain on Keon's parade or anything, but as long as his tail is, there's no way he's got me beat in a biggest peni-- my God. Wow, Keon, wow. You put on a disguise and get back in line for seconds when God was handing out tails and penises or what?

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to Alyssa, who agrees it would be awesome if cats had prehensile tails and could hang from things.