Watching Wheel of Fortune the other night. F zz e Bear was the puzzle. What is the answer kids?

The answer was Fozzie Bear. Those fucking stunods could not figure this puzzle to save their lives. They guessed Fuzzie Bear, Fuzzle Bear, Fuzzie Bear & so on. Drunken Pat was so frustrated with those fuckers. All I could do was laugh & yell at the screen–Poor ole Fozzie Bear no love from those wheel spinners. Stupid fuckers. It was all three of them too. Not just one blonde in bunch but every damn one.

Sometimes the answers are so obvious we just can’t see it. Double mastectomy in five days means no cancer. Problem will be answered. Boom. At least physically. The mental recovery may take a bit longer.

Just completed a pre-op phone conversation. Merry Christmas she says ending our talk. Fucking tears….goddammit cancer….All I want for Christmas is to be cancer free….I would rather be hanging bows from my boobs than to be fully fucking bandaged & bedridden Christmas morning….I will have my family. I will have my life. Hell we may even open presents in our bed? Who knows? Who cares?

I know the true spirit is in your heart and how you project onto others. I’m trying to keep my light twinkling for my sweet five year old who can’t really comprehend the full scope of shit that’s about to go down….Really I am. I’m keeping it together tear free most of the day…. There have been a few sneaky Santa’s sending him cards and gifts! He is one happy boy for sure. Those acts of kindness are coming from children too! They are not going unnoticed either. I know while I’m two days home from surgery, husband & I will be watching five open gifts, sent with love. This is a beautiful thing. We are working on thank you cards now. Hoping to get out in January.

For Christmas I’d like to put this portion of the nightmare behind me. I know with recovery & treatments, there will be a whole new hellish experience, of which I’m not so sure I’m ready to embark. I want this fucking cancer out….so ready or not here I go. I am so grateful Santa is hooking me up with new boobs….cancer free silicone boobs are all the rage these days. Or so I hear.

Sidenote–The number of my friends who’ve been telling me they’ve been mammo’ed recently is awesome ! Keep it up ladies!! I had no idea that little fucking lump I felt 37 days ago was cancerous & there were four fucking more! Check your boobs. Have your partner check for you. Feel a boob….Save your life….