From: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Sent: Saturday, March 31, 2012 7:20 AM

To: Jeff

Subject: FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR

U.S AMBASSADOR OFFICE

11 GARIK ROAD LAGOS

LAGOS, NIGERIA

TEL:+234-xxxxxx-5048

DEAR BENEFICIARY :

FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA

BE INFORMED THAT I HAVE RESOLVED WITH THE NIGERIA PRESIDENCY TO DELIVER THE SUM OF US$2.5M BEING THE INTEREST FUND ACCRUED FROM YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE AND COMPENSATION FUND.

I SHALL BE COMING OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR AN OFFICIAL MEETING BY NEXT WEEK AND I WILL BE BRINGING YOUR CONSIGNMENT CONTAINING THE FUND WHICH HAS BEEN PACKAGED AND SEALED IN YOUR FAVOR BUT THIS TIME I WILL NOT GO THROUGH CUSTOMS BECAUSE AS A U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA, GOVERNMENT AGENT AND I HAVE THE VOTER POWER TO GO THROUGH CUSTOMS.I AM SCHEDULED TO HAVE A MEETING WITH THE SECRETARY OF STATES BY NEXT WEEK.

YOU ARE ADVICE TO SEND YOUR CELL PHONE NUMBER AND THE ADDRESS WHERE YOU WANT YOUR CONSIGNMENT/PACKAGE TO BE DELIVERED TO. I ALSO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE REALLY PAID SO MUCH WITHOUT GETTING ANYTHING IN RETURN AS I WAS MADE TO UNDERSTAND AND THAT IS WHY I HAVE PERSONALLY INTERVENED AND I MUST SAY THAT YOU ARE A VERY LUCKY PERSON BECAUSE I SHALL BE BRINGING YOUR PACKAGE BY MYSELF AND THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT.

YOUR PACKAGE(US$2.5M} MUST BE REGISTERED AS AN AMBASSADORIAL PACKAGE FOR ME TO DEFEAT ALL ODDS AND THE COST OF REGISTERING IT IS $155.00.

THE FEE MUST BE PAID IN THE NEXT 50 HOURS VIA WESTERN UNION SO THAT ALL NECESSARY ARRANGEMENT CAN BE MADE BEFORE TIME WILL BE AGAINST US.

YOU SHOULD SEND THE FEE DIRECTLY TO THE CARGO REGISTRATION OFFICER WITH THE INFO BELOW-

NAME ————- SAM MBA

ADDRESS ——– LAGOS NIGERIA

TEXT QUESTION —– TO WHO

TEXT ANSWER ——- ME

AMOUNT————-US$155

MY TRIP WILL BE BY MID WEEK AND I EXPECT YOU TO COMPLY BEFORE THEN SO THAT THE DELIVERY CAN BE COMPLETED. IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY, THEN IT WILL NOT BE MY FAULT IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE YOUR CONSIGNMENT PACKAGE.

VIEW MY IDENTITY AND GET BACK TO ME WITH THE PAYMENT INFORMATION.

TREAT AS URGENT,

MR.TERENCE P. McCULLEY

U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA



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From: Jeff

Sent: Tuesday, April 03, 2012 10:01 AM

To: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Subject: Re: FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR

Mr. Ambassador,

Thank you for the information. I see that you will be in the United States this week. Can you please give me more details about your trip and how we can organize this transfer?

Thank you in advance,

Jeff

———————————

From: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Sent: Tuesday, April 03, 2012 12:13 PM

To: Jeff

Subject: Re: FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR

U.S AMBASSADOR OFFICE

11 GARIK ROAD LAGOS

LAGOS, NIGERIA

TEL:+234-xxxxxx-5048

DEAR BENEFICIARY :JEFF

FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA

THANKS FOR YOUR REPLY TO MY MAIL,

I AM WRITING TO NOTIFY YOU THAT MY TRIP WILL BE BY FRIDAY THIS WEEK IF ONLY YOU CAN SEND THE REGISTRATION FEE BEFORE THAT DAY. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO NOW IS TO GO AND SEND THE FEE THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER.

YOU SHOULD SEND THE FEE DIRECTLY TO THE CARGO REGISTRATION OFFICER WITH THE INFO BELOW-

NAME ————- SAM MBA

ADDRESS ——– LAGOS NIGERIA

TEXT QUESTION —– TO WHO

TEXT ANSWER ——- ME

AMOUNT————-US$155

PLEASE YOU SHOULD RECOMFIRM YOUR ADDRESS,TELEPHONE NUMBER TO ENABLE ME CONTACT YOU AS SOON AS I ARRIVE IN THE UNITED STATES TO AVOID ANY MISTAKE.

GET BACK TO ME WITH THE PAYMENT INFORMATION.

TREAT AS URGENT,

MR.TERENCE P. McCULLEY

U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA

———————————

From: Jeff

Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 7:00 AM

To: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Subject: Re: FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR

Dear Ambassador,

Where will you be flying in to? I will try to meet you at the airport in order to help reduce the amount of time I have to wait to get my money. Seeing as I’ll have enough money to do so, I’ll hire a local celebrity (likely the man who pays a king eating meat off the bone in the local theater) to drive us. Just try not to talk to him too often. He’s a Hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist and I swear he does it just to show off sometimes. What a geekburger with cheese. But we can have him drive us to Punxsutawney, PA where I heard they have the ultimate fist pump party down on Beaver Creek. The last time I went to a good fist pumping party, I ended up getting punched right in the jaw and it broke in two different places. Talk about your jaw dropping to the floor. It took 4 years of reconstructive surgery to get everything back to normal.

Well as you know, I have already lost a good deal of money with these things. I feel you are different and I feel that I can trust you but I really don’t like to work with people I don’t fully know. I will send the money but first, would you be willing to send me a picture of yourself with today’s newspaper and a note that says, “Dear Beneficiary: Jeff”? It would ease any of my concerns and that way we can get this worked out before your visit on Friday.

Thanks,

Jeff

———————————

From: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 11:16 AM

To: Jeff

Subject: Re: FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR

U.S AMBASSADOR OFFICE

11 GARIK ROAD LAGOS

LAGOS, NIGERIA

TEL:+234-xxxxxx-5048

DEAR BENEFICIARY :JEFF

FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA

THANKS FOR YOUR REPLY TO MY MAIL,

YOU CAN NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO ,I HAVE SENT YOU MY ID THAT IS THE ONLY THING I CAN DO FOR YOU.

GO AND SEND THE MONEY IF YOU WANT ME TO MAKE MY TRIP BY FRIDAY.YOU HAVE TO SEND ME YOUR AIRPORT SO THAT MY FLIGHT WILL LAND THERE.

YOU SHOULD SEND THE FEE DIRECTLY TO THE CARGO REGISTRATION OFFICER WITH THE INFO BELOW-

NAME ————- SAM MBA

ADDRESS ——– LAGOS NIGERIA

TEXT QUESTION —– TO WHO

TEXT ANSWER ——- ME

AMOUNT————-US$155

GET BACK TO ME WITH THE PAYMENT INFORMATION.

TREAT AS URGENT,

MR.TERENCE P. McCULLEY

U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA

———————————

From: Jeff

Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 7:24 PM

To: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Subject: Re: FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR

My Dearest Ambassador,

I am not telling you what to do. I’m simply stating that I would just like a little more proof you are who you say you are. I have the paperwork completed for the Western Union transfer (please see attached) and I am standing at the Western Union location right now. I just want to make sure I’m sending it to the right person. You can understand that I need to be very cautious. So please, if you don’t mind, I request that you attach the requested photo and then I will submit the paperwork.

Also, on the paperwork I filled out, it said that the receiving party will have to show proper identification. As another security measure, it has me ask a question that you would have to know the answer to. The question is, “What is your favorite animal?” Please tell me what your favorite animal is. Mine is the honey badger because the honey badger just don’t give a shit. He eats snakes, digs holes, eats the honey out of a beehive and doesn’t care that he gets stung by bees. He really is the coolest animal around. No one messes with a honey badger. I bet your favorite animal is the cat. Do you want to know a few interesting cat facts?

1. A cat’s urine glows under a black light – outta sight!

2. Recent studies have shown that a cat can see the colors blue and green – talk about going green!

3. Cats purr at the same frequency as an idling diesel engine, about 26 cycles per second – vrooom!

4. Cats lose almost as much fluid in the saliva while grooming themselves as they do through urination – Who’s thirsty?

5. Normal body temperature for a cat is 102 degrees Fahrenheit – now that’s hot!

So please send me the picture (or another picture if you have a better one) and I’ll submit this paperwork.

Jeff

———————————

From: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 3:53 AM

To: Jeff

Subject: Re: FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR

U.S AMBASSADOR OFFICE

11 GARIK ROAD LAGOS

LAGOS, NIGERIA

TEL:+234-xxxxxx-5048

DEAR BENEFICIARY :JEFF

FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA

THE CARGO REGISTRATION OFFICER WENT TO THE WESTERN UNION OFFICE TO PICK UP THE MONEY AND THEY TOLD HIM THAT THERE IS NO MONEY THERE.

YOU HAVE TO USE THE TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER WHICH WAS GIVEN TO YOU AND SEND THE MONEY.

YOU SHOULD SEND THE FEE DIRECTLY TO THE CARGO REGISTRATION OFFICER WITH THE INFO BELOW-

NAME ————- SAM MBA

ADDRESS ——– LAGOS NIGERIA

TEXT QUESTION —– TO WHO

TEXT ANSWER ——- ME

AMOUNT————-US$155

TREAT AS URGENT,

MR.TERENCE P. McCULLEY

U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA

———————————

From: Jeff

Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 6:43 AM

To: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Subject: Re: FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR

Dear Mr. Ambassador,

I fear you’re not even reading the emails that I have been sending you. I haven’t submitted the paperwork yet. I was at the Western Union office but I was waiting for you to answer what your favorite animal is. I already filled out the form and I don’t want to have to do it again so if you can just tell me what your favorite animal is, or send me a picture of your favorite animal and I’ll guess, I’d appreciate it.

Yours truly,

Jeff

———————————

From: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 11:50 AM

To: Jeff

Subject: Re: FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR

U.S AMBASSADOR OFFICE

11 GARIK ROAD LAGOS

LAGOS, NIGERIA

TEL:+234-xxxxxx-5048

DEAR BENEFICIARY :JEFF

FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA

THE ANSWER IS DOG

TREAT AS URGENT,

MR.TERENCE P. McCULLEY

U.S AMBASSADOR TO NIGERIA

———————————

From: Jeff

Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 5:28 PM

To: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Subject: Re: FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR

Dear Mr. Ambassador,

Thank you for your quick response. I see that your favorite animal is the dog. Are you sure that it’s your favorite? I have never seen a dog before so I went online and researched it some more. Look at the pictures of the dogs attached to this email. How could you like those things? And when you look at the cat picture, you can clearly see that the cat is a superior being to the dog.

Here are some dog facts and some cat facts that I feel will help you change your mind.

Dog facts:

1. It is a myth that dogs are color blind. They can actually see in color, just not as vividly as humans. It is akin to our vision at dusk. See? Just like that picture, they are way too close to being human. Scary!

2. Dogs’ sense of hearing is more than ten times more acute than a human’s. They are better than humans, what??

3. A dog’s smell is more than 100,000 times stronger than that of a human’s. At this rate they will be taking over the world!

4. A greyhound can run as fast as 45 miles an hour. You’ll never be able to escape when the dogs decide to attack!

Cat Facts:

1. Many cats love having their forehead gently stroked. See, how nice does the cat sound?

2. Cats must have fat in their diet because they can’t produce it on their own. We fat American’s should learn from cats.

3. A steady diet of dog food may cause blindness in your cat. Just more proof dogs are evil.

4. Cats lived with soldiers in trenches, where they killed mice during World War I. They even fight wars for us!

If that doesn’t change your mind, I don’t know what will. FYI: chocolate contains a substance known as theobromine (similar to caffeine) which can kill dogs or at the very least make them violently ill. So if you decide that your favorite animal is no longer a dog, let’s try to get rid of all of them before the canine apocalypse! Chocolate for everyone!

Jeff

———————————

From: Jeff

Sent: Monday, April 09, 2012 9:40 AM

To: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Subject: Re: FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR

I still have not heard back from you. Please let me know if your answer is still “Dog”

Jeff

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From: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Sent: Monday, April 09, 2012 5:27 PM

To: Jeff

Subject: Re: FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR

MY ANSWER IS OTU NNE GI

(Note: this roughly translates to, “Your mother’s vagina”)

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From: Jeff

Sent: Monday, April 09, 2012 6:07 PM

To: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Subject: Re: FROM THE U.S AMBASSADOR

You’re not even willing to swear at me in English? I think you should learn to respect your clients.

And furthermore, I’d like you to know that “Your mother’s vagina,” is not a valid answer for your favorite animal. If I had asked you, “Where is your favorite place to spend a night?” Then I would accept that as an answer.

Please try again,

Jeff

———————————

From: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Sent: Monday, April 09, 2012 6:27 PM

To: Jeff

Subject: YOUR VERY STUPID

YOUR VERY STUPID

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From: Jeff

Sent: Monday, April 09, 2012 7:01 PM

To: MR.TERENCE P McCULLEY

Subject: Re: YOUR VERY STUPID

First, it’s you’re, not your. Second, I don’t think that was very nice.

Do you still want my money?

Jeff