A You are not alone. Far from it. There is scant data on this, but in 2008 nearly one in five paternity claims handled by the Child Support Agency revealed that the mother had deliberately or inadvertently misidentified the father. Paternity fraud is now back in the spotlight thanks to the British millionaire Richard Mason, who, after a late diagnosis of cystic fibrosis, learnt that none of his three grown-up sons could be biologically his, as he’d been infertile since birth. I interviewed him on my radio show and, despite him winning a landmark £250,000 paternity fraud battle against his ex-wife, he feels that he lost. That’s because his ex has the right to keep the identity of the real father a secret. Knowledge is power. Mason didn’t want or need the money, but he desperately wants to know who the father of his children is. He’s now offering a reward of £5,000 to anyone who knows this.

Ask yourself why you really feel compelled to know. While most listeners to my conversation with Mason were highly sympathetic to the fact he had been lied to for years and robbed of his chance to have a biological offspring (IVF is possible for cystic fibrosis sufferers), others were perturbed by how much stock he put in the fact that three boys he had brought up didn’t share his DNA. [J4MB: “Others” being feminists, presumably.] Parenting is so much more than just nature. Nurture seemed forgotten in his quest to uncover the “real father”. [J4MB: OK, what would happen if men tricked their partners into bringing up children who weren’t biologically their children? If the women complained after discovering the truth after many years, the men could mansplain that “parenting is so much more than about nature”. I’m sure women would see the power of that argument.] One of his boys had told his father he didn’t care. {J4MB: And the other two sons…?] That he would always be his dad — regardless of any DNA test.

Personally? I wouldn’t open that can. The risks of untold damage either way — by simply asking the question of those you love the best — are too great, even for a knowledge hound like me.

It’s your call. But you’d better be prepared for a truckload of grief if you make a move in this direction. And I mean a truckload.