Amy Poehler is America's – nay, the world's – sweetheart

Paul Drinkwater/AP



It says a lot about Poehler's unflagging brilliance that her long overdue win for Best Actress in a Comedy TV Series wasn't even the best Poehler moment of the night. That title goes to, I don't know, maybe when she dressed up as Randy, Fey's son by Harvey Weinstein? Or when she started making out with a somewhat surprised Bono? Or when she announced that she heard that someone called Amy Poehler is "a total bitch"? Take your pick. If Poehler ran for president in 2016, she'd probably win.

Tina Fey has got her snarky groove on



For too long, the brilliant Tina Fey has bogged her comedy down with self-deprecation which, for those of us who love her, has been depressing. But, boy, she got her snark on at the Globes this year, and it was magnificent. There was her dig at Taylor Swift with her reference to "a special place in hell" and her jibe that Gravity was about how George Clooney would "rather float in space than spend a minute with a woman his own age". But best of all was when she bellowed out: "Like a supermodel's vagina, let's give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio!" Tina, it's good to have you back.

Nobody, apparently, prepares a speech

Handout/Getty Images



Jennifer Lawrence, Steve McQueen, Andy Samberg, Amy Poehler, Robin Wright – all winners, not one speech prepared between the lot of them. The phrase of the night was, easily, "Oh my God, I didn't write anything, this is so unexpected!" Was it really, J-Law? McQueen? Maybe there's a superstition in Hollywood that to prepare a script is bad luck. If so, then tonight proved it because none of the winners could do anything but flail around and profess amazement that anyone's even heard of them. I blame Taylor Swift's influence here.

It was a night of memorable women, for better and worse

Alberto Rodriguez/NBC via Getty Images



Aside from Fey and Poehler totally owning this presenting gig, and easily being the most fun thing about the night, there were plenty of women around who were being, shall we say, charismatic. Jacqueline Bisset won the Golden Globe for Most Rambly British Person and Diane Keaton sang a song about friendship for Woody Allen in a voice so creepy it will probably haunt all of our dreams. On the more positive side, Julia Louis-Dreyfus was great fun, puffing her e-cigarette and pretending to diss Poehler and Fey. Jennifer Lawrence telling Taylor Swift that she was about to push her down the stairs on the red carpet was hilarious. But the high point was Emma Thompson, continuing to prove that she should be the Queen of England by rocking up on stage barefoot and holding her Louboutins in one hand and a martini in the other.

Bono really hates Diddy

Christopher Polk/NBC via Getty Images



There was serious shade being thrown by tedious MOR entertainers, which is all I ask for of awards shows. Diddy – who may or may not have been downing as many martinis as Emma Thompson – was up on stage giving out awards, for some unknown reason, and one of the recipients of his beneficence was U2 (honestly, this was the night's low point.) When Bono went up on stage, Diddy reached in for a kiss and Bono visibly reeled back in, first, revulsion followed swiftly by anger. It was awful, it was embarrassing, it was … beautiful.

Blue is the Warmest Colour really is too French

Blue is the Warmest Colour … tricky on set. Photograph: Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar



There had been talk beforehand that Blue is the Warmest Colour was too French a film to win awards on what George W Bush would call "US soil", and this talk turned out to be right – The Great Beauty was the surprise Best Foreign Film award winner. This, however, does pose some questions, namely, what is "too French", precisely? Were there too many croissants in the film? Or has "French" become the new euphemism for lesbianism, just as Greek is for homosexuality? And why is "too French" bad but "very Italian", as The Great Beauty is, OK? We will probably not find out the answer here but too bad, you cheese eating surrender monkeys.

Side boob can be classy

Photograph: Getty



Good news, Mail Online Sidebar of Shame! The sideboob may be coming back! Amy Adams worked the sideboob magnificently as a broad in American Hustle and apparently she liked the look so much she decided to stick with it for the awards season. Proving that she really deserves her awards, Adams has proven that sideboob needn't look trashy, or even messy – rather, on her, it looks downright classy, in a somewhat retro way. This is more than can be said of Johnny Depp's increasingly upsetting dye jobs, mind.

Bradley Cooper can't get no respect in this town

Photograph: David Fisher/REX



Poor old Bradley Cooper, sitting there at his American Hustle table, surrounded by awards for Jennifer Lawrence, Amy Adams and the film itself, and yet he gets stiffed for the Best Actor in a Comedy award by Leonardo DiCaprio in a minor Scorsese film that isn't really a comedy. Maybe he's just too pretty for the awards folk to take him seriously (Brad Pitt shares your pain there, Bradley), or maybe no one can forgive him for The Hangover 3 (fair enough). Either way, go hang out with the similarly overlooked Rob Lowe, Bradley. You two both deserve some gin.

Woody Allen – still controversial

Photograph: Paul Drinkwater/AP



Woody Allen won the Cecil B DeMille lifetime achievement award. Yay, right? Well, sort of. While the Golden Globes went all out on showing clips from all of Allen's great (and some of his not so great) films, others were less enamoured. Keaton in accepting his award on his behalf (Allen, as usual, declined to attend, being too busy playing his clarinet in New York) and spoke at length about the great roles Allen has written for women. This led to significant snarking online: "Look he didn't molest ALL of us – some of us he cast in movies!" tweeted writer Sady Doyle, referring to allegations that Allen molested his daughter. Some were more oblique ("Night," Mia Farrow tweeted, minutes before the tribute started), and others less so: "Missed the Woody Allen tribute - did they put the part where a woman publicly confirmed he molested her at age 7 before or after Annie Hall?" tweeted Farrow and Allen's son Ronan after the event finished. Controversial is kind of an understatement here.

There were a lot of good films out this year – no one great one.

Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs Photograph: Cine Text / Allstar/CINETEXT



It feels like a long time since one film was guaranteed to sweep the awards, and it's been over 20 years since one film won all the major Academy Awards (The Silence of the Lambs, 1991, thank you, internet.) This year the awards were shared out between the obvious contenders, with the end result being that nobody has a clue who's going to win the big ones on Oscars night. Right up until the last moment it looked like 12 Years a Slave might come away with nothing – just as The Color Purple got 11 nominations and no Oscars 30 years ago – but in the end it just slipped in. Anyway, what I'm saying is, we learned a lot at the Golden Globes, but not a damn thing about who will win in March.

More on the Globes



• News: Slave regains footing

• The winners list in full

• The ceremony as it happened

• Best quotes

• Peter Bradshaw's reaction

• Xan Brooks: six surprises

• Winners in pictures

• After parties in pictures