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Vatican Approves Construction of World’s Largest Bus To Throw Chinese Catholics Under

The Vatican said this past weekend that it had reached an agreement with China on the process of constructing the “largest, most biggest ever” bus to throw Chinese Catholics under.

The deal paves the way for bishops and laity who have been faithful to the Rome to be “royally screwed for their loyalty,” while rewarding bishops created without papal approval.

“For Pope Francis, the construction of the mega bus has been one of his most ambitious ventures to date,” says Ben Tammany, senior adviser to the Vatican. “It’s an effort to broaden the appeal of the Church no matter what the cost.”

Francis has drawn criticism from many Catholic opponents, who say the Church shouldn’t “screw over people who have been faithful to the Pope” with this joint venture with an atheist country that has targeted and harassed Catholics with surveillance and persecution. Others, though, say that it is of the utmost importance to Catholicism in the region to “screw over people who have been faithful to the Pope” with this joint venture with an atheist country that has targeted and harassed Catholics with surveillance and persecution.

Not long after announcing the agreement, the Vatican said that Chinese President Xi Jinping would be riding shotgun on the mega bus, alongside Pope Francis on its maiden voyage as they cruised through the devastated countryside of Chinese Catholic hearts.