As only buzzkills like us would want to point out, some children's books seem to intentionally traumatize kids with hard adult themes of vice and dysfunction. But those are the exception, not the rule. What about all those other cutesy, cartoony little picture books you find in the beanbag section of the library? The ones that aren't actively teaching kids to idolize crack dealers or mock the disabled? Those are OK, right? Apparently not: Even some of the biggest names in the industry are practically seeding our children's brains with impending personality disorders. Books like ...

6 Love You Forever



"... but if you flush that Rolex, I'll skin you alive."

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In this best-selling picture book, an impish boy tears apart every room in the house and runs his mother ragged. But that's OK, because when she sees him lying there sleeping peacefully, he's impossible not to love. From newborn through the toddler years and beyond, Mommy always finds a chance to sneak into her boy's room, cradle him in her arms and sing a lullaby. Because he will always be her little baby.



"But if he keeps peeing on the carpet, we might have to have him put down."

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The Horrible Message:

No, seriously, he will always be her little baby. Until death itself comes to claim his husk from her viselike arms ...