I was at an open mic a few days ago and I was having a great hair day. One of the other comedians noticed and he asked me what kind of shampoo I use. He was surprised when I said some cheap thing I didn’t even remember the name of.

“I thought all women used fancy, expensive shampoo,” he said.

I corrected him and said he was not using a specific enough stereotype. He was stereotyping me as a woman when if he would’ve stereotyped me as a lesbian, he would’ve assumed I don’t use fancy shampoo.

I was actually very excited to be lumped in as being a woman. Lots of female comics complain about being introduced as a “lady comic” when they’re coming to the stage. That never happens to me. One time I went to an open mic designed for women and they introduced every comic as a lady, until they got to me. I was the next “…person” coming to the stage.

I used to work as a foreman at an amusement park and one of my big responsibilities was lubing the roller coaster track during the day so people wouldn’t get stuck on it. It was one of my favorite parts of the job because it was like I was getting paid to climb a fancy jungle gym. I got trained by one of the male foreman who had been there for several years.

A week or so later one of the other female foremen saw me lubing the track and was surprised. “They told me they don’t want women lubing the coaster,” she said.

There is no reason that women should not be allowed to lube the coaster! But the thing that made me mad was that if women aren’t supposed to lube the coaster, why was I allowed to lube the coaster?!

I wish that people would discriminate against me just a little bit more, so that I can help make things more equal for women. I wished that someone would tell me that I wasn’t supposed to lube the coaster, so I could fight for the right to lube the coaster. I kept lubing that coaster, but no one really cared. I worked there for years. For a couple summers I was probably the person who lubed the coaster the most.

I worry that part of the reason dumb people still say women aren’t funny is that they’re forgetting lesbians are women. Ellen Degeneres. Tig Notaro. Kate McKinnon.

Women are hilarious and women can lube any dang roller coaster they want to.