As I was doing what I usually do to relax; sifting through abuse on Twitter, making spreadsheets, browsing the Electoral Commission’s website, I stumbled upon something quite unexpected. I’m a few weeks late on this I’ll be honest and the Sunday Herald has already covered one aspect of this man’s terrible past but the latest officially registered no campaigner is someone I’ve been chasing about for 14 long years.

Considering what a non-entity he is, he was not only featured in one of our very first pieces on the blog but also has the dubious distinction of being a previous Weekly Wanker nominee, albeit on a joint ticket with many other UKIP and former UKIP pricks.

Presumably his registration for the No team means he’ll have anything between £10,000 and £150,000 to spend over the next 16 weeks, convincing Scots we’re better off as part of the UK. This week’s wanker, the third part of the unionist trilogy, along with Better Together and Vote No Borders, is Alistair McConnachie, a fascist.

When I say “fascist”, I don’t mean he once gave someone a parking ticket or didn’t let them take their can outside when they went for a smoke, I mean he got chucked out of UKIP for saying there was “no evidence” for the existence of gas chambers at Auschwitz.

Our terrible tale begins back in March 2000, at the height of the Ayr by-election/Section 28 debacle. There were many bizarre candidates: the Labour one who forgot why you should vote for her on live TV, the homophobic vet, the anti-cloning campaigner and a young creepy man with what’s best described as greased back hair, sporting a tailcoat and a massive rosette, representing a party no-one had ever heard of called UKIP. His speech was a barrel of laughs – alongside various homophobic jibes, he resolved to abolish the Scottish Parliament if elected, declaring it a waste of money. McConnachie’s deposit was sadly wasted also, as he gained just 113 votes.

My next direct encounter with the Nazi in the No camp was at the Glasgow election count for the Scottish election in 2003, at the SECC. Following his declaration of support for holocaust denier, David Irving, his post-UKIP years saw him find ingenious ways of standing in elections and saving his deposit. He hatched a cunning plan, to stand in the leafy Kelvin Constituency with a generic name “Independent Green Voice”, possibly the most vague and wooly sounding name ever used by a far-right candidate. This time, he mustered 1,300 votes, largely by sheer confusion.

I must say he seemed rather shocked that night, when he stood up to give his speech, myself and a few fellow travellers instantly lept to our feet and began bellowing loudly about him being a fascist. A few of our own number were taking by surprise as well, one of my pals ran over shouting “he’s not the BNP” and waving his arms wildly. Granted, I had gone through a fair few miniature bottles of absinthe and a not insignificant amount of amyl nitrate, so it wasn’t inconceivable that I would be screaming at a nice wee lady from the Greens by mistake, but sparingly, I never forget a fascist face.

McConnachie published a glossy magazine, Sovereignty, which my pal definitely didn’t use to shoplift from Waterstones, binning all but one copy, which we would read from cover to cover with morbid fascination. I’d love to treat readers to the entire back catalogue (for a mere 89 British Pounds!!) but instead, we’ll settle for a summary of some pertinent facts, pearls of wisdom and other assorted nonsense I’ve uncovered over the decade and a half of collating what I always assumed would be useless information about some random tadger:

He used to regularly end speeches with the phrase “pure people, pure land” which he would accompany with a weird “thumbs up” gesture, his own bizarre fascist salute.

He was one of many far-right activists who tried to exploit the murder of Kriss Donald, blaming his death on…”politically correct lobbyists” and the Police.

He once wrote a letter to the Herald, in support of child detention in Dungavel.

BNP leader Nick Griffin is alleged to have written a letter calling for McConnachie to be invited “back into the fold”, during a bust up in the BNP back in 2009 which he was involved in. McConnachie appears to instead have chosen to pal about with BNP splinter group Brittanica, run by the merry Charlie Baillie – although exactly which Nazis are in which parties is something even we find difficult to keep tabs on.

He’s conviently deleted a lot of his more explicitly racist & fascistic musings before signing up for the No side, including this charming piece entitled “AMNESTY IS A REWARD TO CRIMMIGRANTS.” The internet never forgets though…

So does this man really have anything up to 150 grand to splurge on No campaign propaganda or is he just a fascist fantasist? His latest online project, “A Force for Good” is a visual delight, featuring handy and relevant pictures like “THE KING IS DEAD BUT BRITAIN LIVES ON”, for those struggling to acclimatise to the end of the reign of King George IV, tributes to Nelson and the guy who illustrated the Broons and our Wullie, no end of imperialists standing around on plinths and (without even a hint of irony) memes about nationalism and WWII. It’s unlikely this particular venture is much of a cash cow but he if we know anything about Alistair, it’s that he’s a man of many guises, “money reform campaigner”, “environmentalist”, “racist moron” and he regularly mingles with like-minded bigots on both sides of the Atlantic, many of whom might have dosh to throw around.

Whatever the case, it’s not really good enough for Better Together to make inane statements about how he’s not associated with them and has a silly website. “The wider No fraternity” may enjoy a bit of No surrender now and again but surely this is the time to loudly and clearly say No Pasaran.

Better Together must make an unequivocal demand for McConnachie to de-register or be faced with the cold, hard fact that the campaign to save the UK is now in receipt of fascist funding from this Nazi Wank bank.

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Mor(e)on McConnachie & Co. :

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