In a letter to Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley, Christine Blasey Ford suggested she will not testify at the committee’s hastily convened hearing about her allegations with Brett Kavanaugh, until the F.B.I. has had a chance to investigate her claims.

The New York Times has the letter.

The Republican and right-wing spin machine has already started howling that this is an irregular delay tactic. I explained earlier today why the Republicans want to reduce the issue to a he said/she said debate.

The news of the request is barely an hour old, but the bad takes are flying. Let me smash a couple of them, just for the sake of posterity.

Bad Republican Take 1: The F.B.I. Doesn’t Investigate This Sort Of Thing

No. False. Wrong. Anybody who says this is wrong. Tell them so.

The F.B.I. investigated EXACTLY this sort of thing when Anita Hill alleged she was sexually harassed by Clarence Thomas. George H.W. Bush requested that the F.B.I. look into her claims, and they did.

The F.B.I. conducts background checks on judicial nominees. Kavanaugh has had that background check. Ford’s claims, made this summer, were added to his file, but they did not investigate the claim.

Donald Trump… of all people… can ask them to. He just has to pick up the phone and call Chris Wray.

Brett Kavanaugh spent the whole hearing talking about “nominee precedent” that allowed him to not answer questions he didn’t like. But the relevant precedent here is the Anita Hill precedent, that suggests the F.B.I. should investigate claims. I expect to see Kavanaugh enthusiastically support the application of this precedent.

Bad Republican Take 2: The Investigation Won’t Turn Up Anything Because It’s Just He Said/She Said.

It’s only a war of competing stories because the F.B.I., and no other investigative body, has actually looked into her claims.

The stories are so divergent that there is likely a lot an investigation would turn up.

Ford says this happened at a party. Kavanaugh allegedly told Orin Hatch he wasn’t “at that party” — though one wonders how he knows which party she’s talking about. We can find out whether a party took place, that Kavanaugh was either at, or not at.

Ford says that there were at least four boys at the party. Kavanaugh, Mark Judge, and two other boys. Has anybody spoken to the other two boys? What do they remember? SEEMS KIND OF IMPORTANT.

Ford says that Mark Judge was in the room. Mark Judge varies from saying it didn’t happen, to saying that he can’t recall. Somebody needs to get that man in a room, and get something of the truth out of him.

Kavanaugh claims that he never “acted that way” “with anybody.” There are a lot of “anybodys.” How many of them have been spoken to?

THAT’S OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD! I should note, I’m not an F.B.I. investigator. I bet Clarice freaking Starling would have more ideas for how to lock down the facts, one way or another.

Again, Kavanaugh has kind of made it easy for us. His denial is so categorical that pretty much any corroboration of Ford’s story sinks him. On the other hand, if there’s literally no other corroborating evidence, Kavanaugh’s categorical denials work for him.

Bad Republican Take 3: She’s Just Lying And Is Afraid Of Testifying

Are there are a lot of liars you know that want their lies to be investigated by one of the most powerful law enforcement agencies in the world? Like… would that be your move? To lie and publicly beg for your lie to be investigated by the F.B.I.?

OF COURSE these claims deserve a thorough investigation. It’s an entirely reasonable request.

Feel free to share this post with idiot friends who only watch Fox News.

Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at elie@abovethelaw.com. He will resist.