Since moving to work at the Ethical Society of St. Louis, I’ve had lots of opportunities to work with clergy in my local area. As an atheist this is often fascinating, sometimes uncomfortable, and on occasion troubling. Yet, as Humanists seek to spread our perspective more widely in the world, we will find ourselves working with clergy a lot.

Even though many Humanists think of Humanism as something very different to a religion, when a panel wants a different perspective to traditional religious voices, or when a coalition seeks to broaden its membership beyond traditional religious groups, they will often seek out Humanist participation. Recognized Humanists within a community will be called on to offer our perspective in contrast to traditional religious viewpoints – so we better get good at working with clergy, and performing a similar service for Humanism as clergy do for their faith tradition!

With that in mind, here are five tips for atheists working with clergy.

1. Put forward your positive perspective

Clergy people tend to be great at putting forward the positive elements of their faith tradition: part of their job, after all, is representing that tradition in public. By contrast, Humanists sometimes focus too much on what’s wrong with other people’s traditions. It’s fine to criticize, of course: robust critique of inhumanity is bread and butter to the Humanist. But if everyone else is speaking about how wonderful their tradition is, and you’re solely talking about how terrible everyone else’s is, you will not come off well – and no one will learn anything about Humanism! So think about how you can convey the good things Humanism has done for you.

2. Tell stories

The most powerful and convincing clergy people I know are full of stories. Funny stories, sad stories, moving stories, stories which make you angry – they’re brimming with them! Humanists can learn from this. What stories do you have from your own life which demonstrate the power and richness of our worldview? Think of a few short, poignant stories which demonstrate something about the Humanist philosophy, and have them ready to use in case they become relevant. Even very short anecdotes can make a powerful point – ones which are about you and your life are best.

3. Understand that they will use a different language

Clergy will likely use language drawn from their religious tradition to describe their values and perspective. While this might be unusual or uncomfortable for you, it is second nature to them! Try to take it in your stride. There’s nothing wrong with clergy speaking from their own perspective, using their own language. They are trying to communicate their religion, just as you are trying to communicate your Humanism. So when they use language like “prayer” and “faith”, don’t let it disturb you – it’s not meant for you and doesn’t necessarily need to include you.

4. Be comfortable opting out

Sometimes, when working with clergy, you might feel encouraged to do things which go against your beliefs, like join in with a prayer. There’s no need to do anything which would make you uncomfortable: if you think about it, clergy have dedicated their professional lives to following and promoting a set of beliefs. They know what it’s like to have deep convictions and want to follow them. This means, quite often, that they respect the beliefs of others, and won’t be at all upset if you say that it is against your beliefs to participate in something.

5. Be generous but firm

The vast majority of clergy, in my experience, are people of good will who genuinely believe what they are doing serves their community. They are often smart, articulate, passionate people who have chosen a career path which will net them very little money and sometimes even little prestige. They have followed a calling and done so honestly. So, while being willing absolutely to call out what you see as inhumane in their beliefs or practices, try to be generous with the people, and recognize that they care deeply about their work and think they are doing good. At the same time, don’t be afraid to present your own perspective in a clear way: you have the same right to present your beliefs as they have to present theirs.

Follow these tips, and your work alongside clergy will go much more smoothly!