Okay. FINE! I’ll take time off of my Game of Thrones binge to write this.

Hello FPL-ers! Did you miss me? Okay, I didn’t expect anyone too either. But welcome back guys and how was, or rather were, your GWs, no not that GW you pervs, not GoneWild. Geez, get your mind out of the gutter. Can we get back to this now? AND STOP GIGGLING!

So, how were you guys’ GW35 and GW36? Did that Spanish Hit-and-Runner and the Swollen Lipped Chilean save you guys from an end of season disappointment? Well the later sure did for me. Also, he did just enough to keep his place in my team. Why will I boot him you ask? I’ll discuss it as we go on.

Reviewing GW35:

It was a great week. Well other than the fact that Jakupovic, who got 14 points off of saving a terrible Tadic penalty, was on my bench. Well I am glad that I benched the Satan’s left hand though. And finally, I’M OUT OF THE 500K HELLHOLE. THE MOST AGITATING 2 MONTHS OF MY LIFE SO FAR. GODDDDDDDDD!!!!!

So where were we? Oh yeah,

72 points

A green arrow taking me up 87k places, 502k to 415k.

Okay, I might have told you guys that I wouldn’t be taking any hits for a change for GW35’s team. Well, as you’d expect, I did, and it came back to bite me in the anus. I got Boruc in for a -4 and planned to keep him till the end as Bournemouth have great fixtures till the end. I’ll discuss more on this a bit later.

So, Boruc got me 7 points, nothing to complain about that.

In the defence, Stephens(8) getting the CS at Hull was really nice of him but the 2 BPs were just awesome. Bailly(6), you brought a lot of people’s heartbeat up to a concerning rate there you beast. It happened to a lot of us. Me, pfft… It didn’t worry me. I was cool as a cuc…. oh who am I kidding. I was literally counting down to the 60 minute mark since he went down. Streams of sweat were flowing down my face. I had to wipe it off of the floor, it was just too much. He made just made it to 60, thanks to the limping. I’m not even mad about Valencia’s(2) CS being wiped off. Siggy’s FK was just too much for even God to save. Nothing anyone could’ve done about that. Although that was the very last chance for Manchester United to make -top 4 and they blew it. How typical this season. The trio got me 16 points. Not too bad is it?

The Norwegian Prince struck again, King, with a goal and a CS got me 22 points as captain. This guy has never disappointed me since I got him, unlike a certain Serbian bitch. Sanchez(2) blanked as usual. The Spurs duo, Eriksen(6) and Alli(8), got an assist and a goal respectively in the North London Derby. 38 points from the midfield.

Moving on, up, Kane(5) got a goal too in the Arsenal game. I love how there was something for every Spurs player in my team, in the same game. Never disappoint do they, the Spurs trio. Rashford(5) was decent in the game against the Welsh side and got an assist to Rooney’s goal. And then we have The Italian Pimp, Gabbiadini. This disappointment got me 1 point after he was subbed off at 59 minutes. I should never have trusted any Southampton attacker after Austin.

Reviewing my transfers:

In: Gabbiadini(1) + Boruc(7) = 8

Out: Barnes(9) + Grant(0) = 9

Loss of 5 points in all (8 – 9 – 4). That’s just bad.

Reviewing GW36 (WC Played):

As planned, I played my WC in GW36 since the plan is to BB in the big DGW37. The only players to survive the WC boot were Stephens, King, Sanchez, Alli, Eriksen and Kane.

79 points

Massive green arrow, 122k places up from 415k, to reach 293k.

I have captured Willy and I will nor free him. Never! Caballero(6) had a rather quiet match at the back at the Etihad. He had no part to play in the ‘tearing a new one’ in Palace.

Stephens earned me the same amount of points in 2 games as much as he did in the one game in GW35, 8. That idiot French dick Giroud robbed off his 1 BP and cost me 2 more points. Monreal. You did good there Nacho. 12 points, a double clean sheet, is really good. Cahill(6) got close to getting a goal in Chelsea’s game against Middlesbrough. 26 coming from the defence.

King was at it again with an assist to the Shawcross OG. 5 points from the Norwegian. Okay, I might have said it a tad bit too early, but yes, the Spuds do disappoint. It was a horrible match for them against West Ham and they deservingly lost. And it resulted in 2 points each from Eriksen and Alli. I was really hoping for atleast 2 goals from Spurs. But in the spotlight was Alexis Sanchez(28). He might’ve blanked in the United game and was on course to do the same against Southampton but somehow managed to get that goal after that stupid attempted double block by Yoshida and Stephens. I felt he was lucky to get that but that skill was just too good to not deserve anything.

Kane got 2. That’s enough on that, not goals, points. Surprisingly, Jesus got only an assist in the 5-0 ‘tearing a new one’ of Palace. 5 points for him and 7 in all from the 2 forwards.

There’s really no point in reviewing the transfers as it was a WC.

Onto The Big DGW37 With BB Active:

a hit It doesn’t even matter to me anymore. -4 is like my FT nowadays. I know it was supposed to be a properly planned out transfer, or even be banked so that there would be 2 FTs for the final GW, but,but…… I tookIt doesn’t even matter to me anymore. -4 is like my FT nowadays.

In: De Bruyne, Axel Tuanzebe

Out: Hazard, Robertson

Now hear me out. Chelsea need 1 win to wrap the title up. And it is highly likely that it’ll come against West Brom. Now Conte doesn’t seem like the type of stupid person to play his key man against a team like Watford, it is put like that only for context purposes; sorry if anyone is offended, after they have wrapped up the title and risk an injury for their last home game and the FA Cup final against Arsenal in a week’s time after GW38 *wiping my tears off*. So Hazard basically becomes a SGW player. I know Pep can’t be trusted and KDB was rested in their DGW in GW27 but IMO, the goal and 2 assists shouldn’t be gone ignored by the baldie. Initially it was gonna be Sanchez heading out instead of Hazard and Bertrand coming in for Robertson but I couldn’t. Axel Tuanzebe is a high risk, high reward type of a transfer. At 4m, he just can’t be ignored. Especially when Mourinho will be wanting all his players as fit and fresh as possible for the Europa league final 4 days after their last PL game. Valencia could be rested in 2 of the 3 games which could mean 12 or more points or 4 or less points. It could be a massive risk but could be worth it.

Here’s how the team looks:

Armband is on Sanchez. Hopefully he doesn’t disappoint.

Q&As:

One question, this time by our mod, BigLuke575:

Hmm, I’m trying to think of something that hasn’t been answered recently, either by a pod or a post here, so here goes: Last season, in GW34, Aguero brought 26 points in his two matches. Rate your chances on Jesus getting or possibly exceeding this tally, with the Leicester news coming out.

Leicester defence is struggling anyways and the loss of Huth along with Morgan could be quite harmful to them. I don’t know how Drinkwater’s loss could affect them as I haven’t really been following them as much this season and also because he isn’t exactly the Kante of the team, by that I mean the main and proper CDM. To sum it up, Captaining City forwards could be a really good way to go, but my armband stays on Sanchez.

So that’s it for this one. Covered the two GWs and the one coming up, checked my transfers and captain, activated the BB chip and all set to go. Bring it on bitches!

Leave a like or a comment down below if you enjoyed it and maybe suggest a few things for the last upload of this season coming next week. Until then, check if everything is right with your team and all the best. I’ll see you soon.