In case you were wondering, not all religions and cultures are equal. In fact, some are better than others... For instance, kids being taught about Christianity? Could be a good thing. Morals and all. Worst case scenario, you get a kid a little overzealous with Leviticus saying "mean things" about the gays. Kids being taught about Satanism? Possibly a recipe for disaster. You know, what with the whole evil-is-good thing.

That's not stopping the Satanic Temple from attempting to herd children into its creepy, cloven-hooved clutches.

On Monday, the [Satanic Temple] plans to introduce its After School Satan Club to public elementary schools... petitioning school officials to allow them to open immediately as the academic year starts. They point out that the Christian evangelical groups have already infiltrated the lives of America's children through after-school religious programming in public schools, and they appear to be determined to give young students a choice: Jesus or Satan. According to [the group], "Satan" is just a "metaphorical construct" intended to represent the rejection of all forms of tyranny over the human mind.

WaPo tries to play down the "devil" part of the program. But wait up, this is the Satanic Temple. As in the same Satanic Temple that openly praises films like "The Witch," which (spoiler alert!) features the sexual abuse, torture, and massacre of a young girl's family - a baby included - by "witches..." All in the name of worshiping Satan.

You can't exactly edit out the "Satan" part of Satanism. I know, I know, before you comment "laveyan Satanism isn't the same!" I don't care. I know the difference, and I really, genuinely don't care. See, the thing is, Satanism goes beyond mere rejection of religion. To sum it up as "the endorsement of reason and science over religion" like WaPo ends up doing, is not only a cop-out but also blatantly false. There's a reason why these folks aren't satisfied with simply being atheists. They're not starting a science club, they're starting a Satan club. They're embracing "evil," and their propaganda is flat out terrifying. But sure, let them have your kids for half an hour after school every day. Let me know how that works out.

Meanwhile, schools run to the police when kids pass out Bible verses within a 10 mile radius of campus (see Elementary School Calls Cops on Student... For Handing Out Bible Verses?!). But this? Perfectly permissible. Because freedom of religion, or something.

Home school is looking better and better by the day. Hey, speaking of Satan...

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