There will come a time, someday, probably, when the Brewers and Nationals will settle this miserable goddamn contest. It's the bottom of the 14th now, and the Nats have replaced Ross Detwiler on the mound with Drew Storen. Below is the pitch sequence Detwiler used during his four innings of relief:

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Fastball

Intentional Walk Ball One

Intentional Walk Ball Two

Intentional Walk Ball Three

Intentional Walk Ball Four

Fastball

Undeniable badass Ross Detwiler gave the Nats four full innings of one-pitch relief. 14 batters faced, 2 hits, 1 walk (intentional), 0 runs. 46 pitches. All fastballs. I mean 100% fastballs. In a game that will otherwise likely go down as just another ho-hum pre-All Star break extra-innings snoozer, Detweiler staked a strong claim to the title of He Who Gives Less Shits Than Anyone. Just keep pumping that average fastball, Ross, you goddamn hero.


UPDATE: It's over! The Nats took it in 16 innings on a Ryan Zimmerman 2-run homer. Goodnight.