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1. Carnotaurus

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As the geeky fatasses of the late Cretaceous, Therizinosaurs donât have much going for them in a fight besides those ungainly claws and their ability to fall on you. My advice would be to hurl some rocks at their tiny heads, then run in a zig-zag pattern until they topple over or clothesline themselves on a low-hanging limb. Then all it takes is one well-placed kick to their pipe cleaner-sized throats.Theyâre excellent stuffed with bread crumbs, apple chunks and cinnamon. For a crisp skin, bake at 400 degrees for 96 hours, or until golden brown. Serves everyone.The Carnotaurus is what happens when a T. Rex just kind of wanders off halfway through the dinosaur assembly process.While superficially resembling their more deadly cousins, Carneys are much smaller (only nine feet tall) have Gandalf-caliber eyebrows that they try to pass off as bull horns and were stuck with arms somehow even more retarded than Rexâs. Not only are they smaller in comparison to their body (seriously, weâre talking Q-Tips here), but the hands are facing the wrong way, palms out, as if pathetically awaiting a high five that will never come, eternally left hanging by its less laughable counterparts.The Carnosaur is legitimately threatening, and, as its name suggest, carnivorous. Itâs probably the highest level dinosaur youâre likely to kill without a minigun or a Timecop backing you up, so Iâd only recommend tackling one after youâve had plenty of experiencing wiping out the other species on this list. If you are going to go for it, my advice would be to capitalize on your natural advantages by challenging it to a sword fight or juggling competition. Then when its weeping in impotent frustration, stab it in the gut with a sharp stick.You can probably get away with telling the other dinosaurs you killed a T. Rex. Theyâre not that bright.Whatever you do, never fight this.Special thanks to my friend Brian for his extensive field-testing during the research phase of this article. He will be missed, as will several neighborhood dogs and the massive fistful of PCP he ate.When not rending the very fabric of time with his mighty fist, Michael serves as head writer for and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!