It seems natural for us guys to chase after young women. One could argue it’s iron coded into our genetic codes (to keep the species moving along so it seems), endemic in all our advertising and our fascination for forever being young. That said perhaps we really ought to ask why is this the case and why aren’t women chasing after young guys (and of course some of you are) and what this says about the stasis of the sexes…

The other day I was having a talk with a friend who is in his mid 50’s and he mentioned why is it that he doesn’t see women older than 30 in the scene. To paraphrase him: “When I was 20 I was going after 20 year old girls, when I was 30-once again I was chasing 20 year old girls, same when I became 40 and now that I’m in my 50’s I’m still chasing after the 20 year olds.”

Should I have been concerned with my friend’s pursuits or ticked off to the idea that all men at the end of the day aspire to the graces of women in their 20’s? On one hand studies have argued that a woman reaches her peak aesthetic looks at age 31 and from there on it’s all downhill. But is that to say all us men want are beautiful women to look at or is that so often part of the package women sell themselves (which is to say- so many of you women despite your liberated sense of being, still make a big deal about extolling your looks- so is it any wonder at the end of day judge you on these factors)?

In Hugo Schwyer‘s essay over at Goodmenproject, the author asks the following provocative question- ‘Is it natural for older guys to lust after young women,’ the author makes an astute observation: Spare me the arguments from biology or evolutionary psychology, the ones that excuse predatory old guys from staring at “young firm flesh” because that flesh belongs to a woman near the peak of her fertility. The great lengths to which countless men go to avoid fatherhood suggests that the continued evolutionary imperative to “spread one’s seed” is oversold to the point of being illusory. No one thinks babies were the first thing on the mind of Jason Statham when he started dating a 23-year-old Victoria’s Secret model, or that Sean Penn (50) is motivated by the desire to start a family with Scarlett Johansson, who’s barely half his age. This is about the cultural cachet of dating a much younger woman—and about the difficult-to-deny reality that younger women lack the experience and wisdom to call their older lovers on their bullshit.

Which is to say that it’s become socially correct for a male much older than a woman to have aspirations to younger women. Of course when an older women in the public eye starts dating a younger man- already she’s deemed the cougar and in essence we’ve been put on guard against her type and are to observe her with some distrust. True, it may be less of a discussion point of women dating younger men, but it never fails to provoke the idea that somehow she is a baby snatcher. Never mind that it could have more to do with the fact that a woman in her 30’s or 40’s has a type of alluring cache that most women don’t offer in their 20’s- aside from their looks…