I do not find the results that surprising. One’s personal experience can be a good indicator of a more general experience. That is to say that the purely subjective can provide insight into the objective element in general subjective experiences. I am not afraid of death. I am, however, aware that it’s inevitable. What I fear is it’s unpredictability. A couple of examples from the local news.

A father, his five-year-old daughter, and seven-year-old son go to a “chicken spot” to have some lunch, and an elderly man accidentally hits reverse in his SUV, plows into the place, and injures them severely. The father and his daughter hang by a thread as they are both in critical condition. The son died of his injuries shortly after the accident. (See here)

A woman walking in Manhattan, perhaps thinking about her recent engagement and upcoming wedding, gets plywood blown in her direction. It hits her with enough force to knock her against a wall causing severe head trauma. She was pronounced dead at the hospital. (See here)

A grandmother and her toddler grandchild are sitting outside a building in Manhattan when suddenly a brick windowsill falls apart and debris falls on them, striking them both in the head. The grandmother is dazed. The toddler is knocked unconscious and falls into a coma. The toddler is taken to the hospital and is pronounced dead a day later after being taken off of life support. (See here)

It’s this (!) that I fear. This is one of the sources of my anxiety. I am afraid of dying early or even worse, dying without realizing it, e.g., suffering a massive stroke, DTV (deep vein thrombosis) leading to a pulmonary embolism or a stroke. I feel as though I have an inherent capacity to carry out certain tasks. It’s what I call the Platonic alternative to talk of fate and destiny because Plato thought one should do what one is best equipped to do or do that which best compliments one’s desires. The reason we all feel “called” or “destined” to do something or become someone is because we are genetically and neurobiologically constituted in a given way. This constitution is such that we have a knack or a natural talent. Some would call this thing a passion. For some, it’s exactly what they want to do in life, it’s the contribution they want to make to society or to humanity as a whole. I fear my life being cut short and thus, not reaching my fullest potential or, to upgrade Maslow’s hierarchy, I fear not being able to transfer self-actualization into self-optimization–which is my best possible self or my most optimal self.

Religious or not, this is a central concern for anyone and I suspect it’s because of the following. Let’s assume that some afterlife concept is true. If reincarnation, for instance, is true, then we’re left with the fact that we most likely do not remember our past life or lives. If heaven, to use another example, is an actual place, what remains is our holiness through Jesus Christ. You are not fully who you were on Earth. In some circles, you do not remember the family members who didn’t make the cut; them who were sent to hell. In those same circles and in others, you don’t remember the ones who are still on Earth. In others still, heaven transcends time and thus, it’s a place in where all has already transpired. It’s a Wayward Pines sort of place. When you “get there,” you will find that the death of your children and your grandchildren and all of the generations that proceeded you already occurred. You will find yourself in the company of people from both the past and future. However, the fact remains, in no version of the afterlife do you retain the consciousness you currently have. So if there’s an afterlife, these dreams you currently have, these goals you’re looking to accomplish, they simply do not feature in what follows.

Atheists, in their non-belief of such concepts, remind people that this is the only life you will live. The emphasis is not on only but rather on you. Whoever you are, if, in fact, there is a you, i.e., if, in fact, personal identity is ontologically sound*, this is the only life you will live because it’s the only one you’ll be able to call yours and more importantly, the only life you’ll self-consciously identify yourself within. Whoever you are in your next life or in heaven or wherever is not whoever you are now. In fact, whoever you are then is not who you are now because as I’ve argued, that future you will have no recollection of pivotal aspects that make you you. Aside from all this, there are the examples at the onset. We remind people of the harsh real world. We remind them of its unpredictability and of its indifference. The universe and the world don’t care about you or your dreams. It doesn’t care about your youth or old age, your gender, you highly anticipated plans, whether near or far. In one instance, you can be deleted from existence. Clinging to religious concepts of an afterlife may help you cope, but if you think deeply enough, it doesn’t save you from death. The person you’re familiar with, the person you contemplate about and look to improve, keep healthy, and so on, is not the person that continues assuming some version of an afterlife exists or occurs. You only live once.

Whether or not this has any bearing on the social stigma we atheists have is yet to be seen, but I suspect it plays a role. I don’t write this way to scare you or to hurt you, believer or not. I write like this because, deep down, I care about you. I extend to you the most basic empathy. I know that, like me, you have goals and dreams. Whether it’s to start a family with your significant other or become a renowned writer or musician or simply to complete your current degree track, I know what it’s like to have such dreams, to imagine myself as having accomplished these things. So I really talk this way to give that part of yourself a nudge! I want to incite a riot within you, to help you to realize that in this world no one is special. You have an opportunity; your dream is within some reach. You are, however, running out of time. Don’t wait around. Don’t waste your time. Don’t think that afterlives are going to somehow preserve your goals and dreams. Pursue the Golden Snitch and catch it my fellow seeker!

*For those of you who are more philosophically orientated, I highly recommend Derek Parfit’s The Unimportance of Identity. It’s somewhat challenging, but it’s worth the read. You will at least come to understand that the notion of personal identity is a fragile concept that is far from concrete.