My NSA Polygraphs



I am writing in a moment of despair. I am 22 years old, fresh out of school, working for a NSA contractor in MD. I recently took 2 successive NSA polygraphs which, when the paperwork goes through, will end my career and reason for living.



In college I interned at DoD and got a Secret level clearance. Upon graduating finding a job was quite challenging. My only leg up proved to be my existing security clearance. I never wanted to work for the NSA but my current job was the only offer I received which didnt require going to Iraq.



When I went in for my polygraph I did not research it, obeying the advice of my coworkers. The Polygrapher was very nice and the environment professional. While I was nervous I answered all the questions honestly and confessed to all my minor indiscretions. I was then called back for another interview a week later. This was completely different.



My second polygraph in no way resembled the first. While professional, she convinced me I was already a sure bet and that we just had to get through this process. The NSA is not interested in people with no history of indiscretion, I was told. There is a war on and we need smart people that have been around the block. Over the course of several hours of talking about every little thing I could think of, I became convinced if I did not come up with some sort of juicy story I would never get cleared.



I proceeded to tell the Polygrapher everything I had witnessed in my college sorority but in the first person. I talked about hazing and minor drug use. While the hazing did not impress her, she lit up when I mentioned drugs. She wrote down everything meticulously and kept prying for more. In total I confessed to smoking marijuana about 10 times and using ecstasy once. By the end of the exam I was mortified. I couldnt believe the story I had made up. I was so eager to please this woman I would have told her I killed Kennedy if she asked. The truth of the matter is I was always too worried about getting hair tested to join my sisters out on the balcony. I am a coward. I almost crashed my car driving home. I couldnt believe what had happened.



I now go to work and feel like I am living a lie. I dont know what is going to happen. I am sure I will not get a TS clearance but I am convinced my secret will be revoked as well. When that happens I will get fired and will never be able to get either a government job or a professional license to do anything. I am not qualified to do anything else and will be out on the street.



My life is over. I cant believe the manipulation I was put through and how in a matter of hours all my lifes efforts were turned to garbage. Everything is over. I dont know what to do.

