Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.

- What Is Man?

...the smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.

- Letter fragment, 1891



Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

- Mark Twain, a Biography

Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man.

- Notebook #14, Nov. 1877 - July 1878

All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.

- Mark Twain's Autobiography; also in Mark Twain in Eruption