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Chris Hansen tries to front, I interview Onision on The Ralph Retort, an FTMTF calls in about having a baby, Joey Salads is in studio, COVID death models, a bicycler hits my car, an 18 year old is going to kill himself unless we tell him the meaning of life, Wrestlemania sucks, JMAA calls in to apologize for calling me a comedy vampire, Nicholas DeOrio, Karl from “Who Are These Podcasts”, and Communism Lite; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Here is Chris Hansen’s tantrum Emmy shot. Do you think there was a point after he moved it where he thought? Nah, maybe I should just ignore it. I hope so, but somehow I doubt it.

Check out the Killstream interview with Onision here, but first…



I’m a cuck, you’re a cuck, and goddammit, there’s nothing wrong with that! Pretty much everyone is a cuck in some way if you think about it. Stopping at a crosswalk to let someone pass? That makes you a cuck. Eating lunch? That basically makes you a cuck because you’re doing what your mom or a restaurant wants you do to. Shitting? That makes you a cuck because you’re basically taking it up the ass in reverse for what your lunch wants you to do. You see how fucking retarded it is to think anything at all is wrong with being a cuck?

Being a cuck is sweeping the nation–and it’s cool, it’s very cool! From one e-celeb I have never heard of and don’t care about, to the next. Aggressively justifying the behavior of a woman who doesn’t respect you and doesn’t care if her actions humiliate you. Doing that is like the fucking Macarena.

And if it’s not happening to you, you’re in luck, you can jump in at any moment and give your reality-warping take on how backwards-ly justifying the actions of a woman completely devoid of criticism somehow makes you the worlds best lover. Like how most of the “Histoire de ma vie” consists of Casanova describing how based it was for the one woman he loved in his life and was his true love and he was devoted to, to also go on adventures and fuck tons of other guys.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS SHIT?

These guys need their own bathrooms. But don’t believe me. Here’s PewDiePie’s take on it, “It’s Madoff all over again.”



We’re going to do a cross-over bonus episode with Karl from WATP soon, folks. Send in your podcast suggestions!

Also, here is kill some time in quarantine with me on Twitch, bitch! https://www.twitch.tv/labasedcomedian/

“We Will Cuck You” by twentytwenty



Dick Pics



An Emmy-worthy thumbnail by Nope.wmv.



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