Recently a few of my friends were talking about guys. They were talking about which guys they would/wouldn’t date. Things like “boring”, “bad sense of humor” or “not college educated” and more superficial things like “too short”, “bad hygiene” or “poor fashion sense”. They wanted guys that were “smart”, “athletic”, “kind” and “well-employed”. I could only think of two types of guys I couldn’t date– misogynists/abusive and guys with drug/alcohol addictions (I realize that may be prejudiced towards those struggling with addictions, but as a daughter of an addict, I find that its very triggering for me–I have childhood PTSD— to be around those types, still I respect their struggle). Anything else, I feel like I’d just have to deal with.

I realized that they all had the ability to be picky because they were thin and able to date way more often than I can. If I turn down a date, I know that there isn’t another offer coming for months or even a year. Meanwhile, these girls are going on two or three dates a month, or a least being flirted with at bars and bought drinks by random guys. I’ve asked a few guys out before (all that I’ve thought had desirable qualities). Only to be either laughed at or given a pity excuse. I thought guys thought women taking charge was sexy…boy was I wrong.

I might be fat, but I am also a lot of other great things. I’m nice, loving, smart/well-educated, generous, a great job and a whole lot else.

Why can’t I date the guys that I want to? Why do I have to settle for less just because I am fat?