GREENFIELD, MA—Citing the ornate icons adorning the walls and the strange chanting in an unfamiliar language, sources in attendance Friday at the wedding of Dan and Briana Wilcox confirmed the ceremony had some sort of bizarre religious theme. “Knowing the couple, I’m not surprised they wanted to do something a little bit different, but having their officiant dress up in those elaborate robes and drink from a golden chalice seemed a bit over the top,” said guest Mary Henderson, who described the venue’s stained-glass windows and chandeliers as “too gaudy” for her taste and, upon observing the high-vaulted ceilings, speculated that perhaps the building was a renovation of an old barn. “They even made members of their family participate in the theme, having them go up front and read a bunch of weird God stuff. They roped their guests into it, too, asking us to sing for them from these big books full of religious songs. Can you imagine?” Numerous attendees stated that while they respected the bride and groom’s choices, they nonetheless wished the couple had opted for a more traditional ceremony and just had a Star Wars wedding the way normal people do.

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