Woman who doesn’t care who wins Bake-off ‘probably a communist’

A woman from Glossop has received condemnations from across the political spectrum after declaring her indifference towards the final of the popular baking competition.

Eleanor Gay commented on Facebook earlier this morning that she ‘couldn’t give a sh*t who wins bake-off’.

Local MP Andrew Bingham was first to condemn the comments.

“This woman is an outrage,” he spluttered, furiously.

“I would imagine that she’s some sort of communist and will be urging the police to bring charges of treason against her at the earliest opportunity.”

Events quickly escalated with Ms Gay’s comments being raised at Prime Minister’s Questions.

“I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a leftie,” said Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.

“But even I would never go as far as this. Having no opinion on the Great British Bake off? I’m shocked. Would my honourable friend join me in calling for the return of the death penalty, purely to mete out appropriate punishment to this appalling Gay woman?”

For once, the Prime Minister and opposition leader were in agreement as she responded.

“I heartily concur with my honourable friend, and can happily inform the house that my personal brigade of secret police is en route to Glossop to remand Ms Gay into custody before her well-deserved and immediate summary execution.”

The case of Ms Gay follows shortly after Worcester man Simon Williams was declared an enemy of the state and sent to a gulag for ‘not being that arsed about Strictly this year’.