National Lampoon (2004)

[LARRY TURNS ON VIDEO CAMERA] LARRY: [SINGING] Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm, I’m gonna get laid, I’m gonna get laid … Hmm hmm hmm, gonna get laid … Hmm hmm hmm. [PHONE RINGS] CROFT: Oh sh[BEEP], let me get that.

[CROFT SPEAKS INTO PHONE] CROFT: Hello? Oh hey, Mel … Yeah, listen. I’m with him right now. Yeah, I’ve just about got an offer out of him. I think we’re talking at least a major cameo … Look, I’m doing what’s necessary, and then I’m out of here! [LARRY DROPS HIS CONDOM ON THE FLOOR] [DOOR OPENS]

MARIO: It’s-a me, Ma– LARRY: Dammit, a sock on the door means I’m getting some! That’s the roommate code, man! MARIO: I’m-a so sorry, I thought-a the sock meant you’re masturbating … LARRY: [PAUSE] Wait, you came in because you thought I was masturbating? MARIO: [PAUSE] It’s-a me, Ma– LARRY: Get out! [LARRY THROWS A SHOE AND HITS MARIO IN THE HEAD] [DOOR CLOSES] CROFT: Larry, are you going to spend all night on the floor, or are you coming?

LARRY: Um, I think I already did … CROFT: Oh well … Don’t worry, stud, there are other ways you can please me. Why don’t you do my pu[BEEP]? LARRY: I, well … all righty.