A player asked me a good question today about if there’s a wandering Dungeon Merchant; they were kind of trapped deep in a serious dungeon and didn’t exactly have a way of accessing potions.

Well, I -do- have one. He’s a Beholder with a cowboy hat and a country accent.





His full name is Archidaeluxamadiozyphianmorchachlelarus. Or Archie for short.

He typically appears in dungeons when players are at their most desperate and willing to blow a ton of money on potions. Entrance ways to his extra-dimensional rift appear as giant silver keys, each being a one-time use. Pressing it up against a wall turns it into a portal to his rift, where he conducts business with anyone and everyone in the multidimensionalverse. He prefers gold or magical items for payment but might give flexible deals for longstanding customers. He also takes ‘Soul Credits’ if you don’t have enough money: for every 100gp you don’t have you just have to spend a year in service to him.

No biggie.

Archie holds every item in existence, barring most artifacts as he has deals with Gods to not mess around with that kinda stuff. However he still has some ‘just in case’. If you ask him for a Holy Avenger, he’ll rip into his many pocket dimensional storages with his tendrils and pull out 5. And then juggle them.

I also always introduce him the same way. The players just find a random giant silver key the size of their forearm in a treasure horde. Upon touching it they have to pass a DC 30 will save or have a sudden impulse to stick it into a nearby wall. From there a portal that unfolds into a door appears.

Then this: