In a shocking development, it’s being reported that some contestants in beauty pageants use certain artificial methods to enhance certain body parts. And no, we’re not talking about prescription-strength Aqua Net.

It turns out that Miss California Carrie Prejean, already controversial for revealing her anti-gay marriage views during the Miss USA competition recently (she came in second), felt like she needed a little second-story remodeling to present her very best side during the contest. So her friends at the Miss California Pageant helpfully paid for breast implants. Anything for a homie!

In an interview Friday on “The Early Show,” Keith Lewis, the co-director of the Miss California Pageant, admitted to helping Prejean get the breast job.

“We assisted when Carrie came to us and voiced the interest in having the procedure done,” Lewis told “Early Show” co-anchor Maggie Rodriguez. Here are some excerpts from the interview:

LEWIS: Well, we would never encourage her to go that route, but “…

RODRIGUEZ: But why not discourage her?

LEWIS: “… it’s a personal choice. Well, I think that it’s about how a woman feels about herself. In terms of, for me, it’s not a personal choice that I would recommend. But at the same time, I know so many women that have done the procedure and feel better about themselves and the way they present themselves.

But “…

LEWIS: But there’s plenty of ways of getting to more proportion without doing breast implants.

RODRIGUEZ: Well, but if “…

LEWIS: Many of the girls use chicken cutlets.

RODRIGUEZ: “… if you have a flat chest, what are you supposed to do?

LEWIS: You use chicken cutlets. You use tape. You use anything that you can to enhance the line. There’s lots of tricks of the trade.

Whoa. Wait, what?! They’re stuffing their bikini tops with pieces of chicken? Free range, we assume. Oh, never mind. The Internet tells us these are silicone pads that are shaped like chicken cutlets. Carry on.