Mom speaks out on transgender daughter's death

Rachel Bryk didn't kill herself because she was bullied online about being transgender, according to her mother, Lisa Bryk.

The 23-year-old from Wall was being bullied. But that's not the only reason she walked to the middle of the George Washington Bridge, set down her pink purse, took off her shoes, and jumped.

Seven years ago, Bryk was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis, her mother said. It left her in great pain.

"It feels like if you've been in the boxing ring with a bunch of heavyweight champs and they're just pounding on you all over," her mother said. "Everything hurts and nothing makes it better. It makes you extremely tired."

"Suicide is a complex issue and a lot of times, we as a society, make the error of pinpointing one factor that may have played a role in that decision to take your own life," said Maureen Brogan, statewide coordinator for the Traumatic Loss Coalition, a program overseen by Rutgers University.

She warned against oversimplifying the cause of suicide. There are many variables.

"We will never know the risk factor that was the final straw," she said. "And it would be a mistake to try to oversimplify it by saying that this was the cause -- because we don't know."

Bryk's body hasn't been recovered. Witnesses described seeing a woman jump on April 23, according to Joe Pentangelo, spokesman for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey. They told police she was white, with pink streaks in her blond hair.

Police can't officially verify the identity of the woman who jumped.

Her family believes it was Rachel.

She was born as Roger, a boy, on March 8, 1992. She loved cats, Pokemon, and video games. She struggled with depression, she could be impulsive, she had a temper, her mother said. She was quiet and liked to spend time in her room. But she was sweet.

Related: Transgender Wall woman shouldn't have died

Transgender people are those whose gender identity isn't the same as the body they were born with, according to the American Psychological Association. The organization says it's difficult to estimate the number of transgender people because there are no studies that accurately account for the range of gender identity.

The suicide rate is higher for people who have sexual identity issues, according to Psychiatrist Pogos H. Voskanian.

Rachel attended to Wall High School and studied electronics engineering at DeVry University.

She had friends online, particularly within a community of people who used and developed Dolphin, software that allows users to play Wii or GameCube games on a PC.

Rachel could take pain medication for her condition, but that clouded her mind and made it difficult for her to work on the Dolphin software.

"If you can't do what you love and what you're passionate about in life," her mother said, "Then I guess it seems like: 'what's the point?'"

Over a year ago, she came to her mother saying she wanted to go to therapy for gender issues.

"She didn't want to talk about anything more than that, at that time," her mother said.

Rachel came out to the rest of the family in January.

"She basically sent us all a text message that said: 'I'm changing my name to Rachel, I'd appreciate if you could use it.'"

They obliged her. They bought her girl clothes. She dyed her hair pink. Her father, Roger, said she was seeing a doctor in New York and receiving hormone treatment to transition physically.

It went smoothly at home.

"We were OK with it," her mother said. "We wanted to see her happy."

Their 14-year-old daughter, Jennylee, was the most excited. She had another sister to play with, to do her hair in ponytails and braids.

"Online, I guess it was a different story," her mother said.

She had friends on the internet, but she was also bullied. Her parents said she had run-ins with users of 4chan, a website that features a minimally-censored anonymous forum.

On Ask.fm, she discussed a previous attempt to commit suicide, writing that she was chased off a bridge by police last summer. She alluded to making another attempt.

Her mother was unaware of the thoughts of suicide.

"She seemed better," her mother said. "Since she came out to our family, she seemed more social."

She had been talking more with her family and seemed more involved.

"So we thought she was better," her mother said.

On April 23, she didn't come home. Her mother called Rachel's girlfriend. Rachel had set a scheduled Twitter message saying she had done it. Lisa looked on her computer and found a suicide note.

Rachel's friends told her mother they thought about contacting her family about Rachel's thoughts of self-harm.

But they didn't.

"They think because they're across the computer screen, that they're absolved from doing anything," Her mother said of those friends. "And they're not. If they know that someone wants to do that, and they know how serious it is, they need to step forward."

Andrew Ford: 732-643-4281; aford3@gannettnj.com

Rachel's family is accepting donations at: http://www.gofundme.com/tbjf84