Angela Eagle has decided that she is going to announce her leadership bid again today. You know, that thing that’s happened so many times in the past week it has just become background noise. This is an almost complete history of Eagle’s week-long leadership bid announcements. There has been so many, don’t be surprised if we missed any out.

June 24: The briefing against the Dear Leader began as the results started to come in.

June 25: ‘Angela4Leader.org’ was registered by a PR consultant. Nobody knew. Magical. Apparently she didn’t authorise it. Yeah, right…

June 26: Hilary Benn fired at 1AM after claims he was encouraging ministers to resign. Coup goes into gear five.

June 27: Resignations after resignations after resignations. The Eagle goes around television and radio studios crying into a handkerchief. Apparently it was a difficult decision – as we are sure it was – but it was probably more difficult to cry for that length of time. Oscar for Eagle?

June 28: PLP overwhelmingly votes to declare ‘no confidence‘ in Corbyn. He either doesn’t realise or doesn’t care. Goes onto give speech rambling in Parliament Square to a bunch of Socialist Workers Party members about mental health. Angela’s local party decides to support the Dear Leader. Confused messages from Angela. Is she going to announce now? No, that would be silly.

June 29: Watson couldn’t convince the Dear Leader to stand down, apparently. Eagle leads another rebellion to kick out Corbyn with 51-signature petition that is needed for formal challenge. Never handed in. Shocker. The psychodrama continues for yet another day.

June 30: Sources tell BBC that the Dear Leader “still has time to do the right thing”. Eagle cannot workout if she can win and, therefore, decides not to stand yet again. Apparent manoeuvres from Owen Smith, with Eagle hoping to get him to back off.

1 July: A strange day of quiet descends. Hoping that something happens, or maybe that if she does nothing it, paradoxically, might mean she actually stands. She didn’t.

2 July: Exciting times for Eagle as she decided to leave handing in the petition to launch an ‘inevitable’ leadership fight to go to the supermarket, or something. Maybe she lost it somewhere.

3 July: Eagle and Kinnock say that the party’s members are ebbing away from the leader. Still won’t decide what she is going to do. Talk of ‘negotiations’ become so mainstream with Len McCluskey urging on the Marr programme trade unions can help negotiate.

4 July

: Shegoes public about her apparent leadership bid. Days after originally coming out about a leadership bid. “There are many people – MPs, party members up and down the country – asking me to resolve this impasse, and I will if something isn’t done soon”. It’s been seven days, now. Seven. Days.

Angela, why don’t you have a go if you think you’re hard enough?