What draws young men to sex workers? (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

A couple of weeks ago, I sent out a call on Twitter asking people to tell me why they paid for sex.

A few things happened…

First of all, I received quite a few emails from chaps who were more than willing to let me know why they visited sex-workers, and used them in all their varieties (on the phone, webcams and in person).

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After all, asking our clients why they required a sex-worker wasn’t exactly something we could ask outright. But then, who could they tell?


As you might have read, most of them didn’t have anyone else they could talk to about it.



So I was very pleased to be the one they confided to when it came the question of ‘why?’

A short question, which had a lot of big answers.

However, a few people have asked me since the initial blog if any men their own age have used a sex-workers’ service.

Yes, absolutely.

So to help break it down, here are the ‘under 30s’ category of ‘why men pay for sex.’

(And before you ask, yes I would also love to hear from women. But the last time I put my email address on here I received a flurry of emails asking for sex advice from India. But search and you’ll find it.)

Tim, Basel, 24

It meets a need for physical intimacy (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

‘I am single and have been so for all my life. I am somewhat overweight, even though I would not consider myself to be ugly.

‘Before visiting a sex worker for the first time I was a kissless virgin.

‘Usually I visit sex workers at their workplace, even though I’ve had women come to my apartment twice at this point.

‘Usually I visit ‘general’ sex workers but I’ve been with subs twice and have even tried a Domme once.

‘I’ve only visited female sex workers with female biology at this point but I would potentially be interested in visiting a transgender sex worker with a penis, mostly out of curiosity.

‘I think I visit sex workers for two reasons.

‘First of all to satisfy my sexual needs. I decided to lose my virginity to a sex worker, essentially ‘just to get it over with’.

‘But I’ve also noticed that visiting a sex worker satisfies my need for physical intimacy.

‘Additionally, I think that trying out new or niche kinks is easier with somebody who already has experience but does not expect you yourself to be experienced.

‘Usually I stay very ‘vanilla’. I especially enjoy kissing and French kissing as well as foreplay (petting and the likes).

‘In the sexual act I usually prefer oral sex (both giving and receiving) as well as the missionary position, because it feels more intimate to me.

‘I have however been looking for a sex worker for quite some time now who is willing to do sexual wrestling or physical submission.



‘Something I found to be a big turn-on is if I feel like the woman enjoys the sex.

‘I also enjoy snuggling or hugging/kissing and such after the act.

‘I visit sex workers maybe every two to three weeks depending on my mood. I think it really depends on my general state of mind, how much time and also how much money I have.

‘It also depends on whether or not I can find a sex worker who I find attractive or provides services that I enjoy.’

Tom, 29

Loneliness can play a big part (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

‘I’ve only seen sex workers in person on two occasions. Different women each time.

‘I’m straight and not very kinky so it’s been GFE both times. I’m not really interested in seeing Domme sex workers but I do enjoy being with a girl who’s a little submissive.

‘I try to go for longer visits. Either several hours or overnight.

‘This can be more expensive and, because of my income, means I can only see sex workers two-three times a year but I feel like it’s a more intimate experience that way.

‘And… I’m just really lonely. I do a couple of online dating apps but I don’t get many matches and then trying to get dates from those matches is even less likely.

‘Trying to actually date someone a few times is nearly impossible for me.

‘I’ve been using these apps for almost a year and I’m not sure why it’s so hard for me.


‘I have good photos and a good profile and am polite and respectful but even the matches I do get are with women I’m not really that interested in.

‘Outside of the apps, I literally have no friends so there’s not much opportunity for me to meet women.

‘Hiring a sex worker is something I thought about for years and finally pulled the trigger on recently because I got an unexpected raise and I gave up on thinking that dating was going to work out for me.

‘I’m still trying to date but it’s actually a bit of a relief to know that hiring a sex worker is an option for me.

‘It’s a scenario where I don’t have to worry about hurting the woman’s feelings because she knows it’s just work.

‘I don’t have to lie by omission to get some physical intimacy because it’s already included with the service.

‘Not to mention that the kind of women I’ve hired are… well… it would be a minor miracle if I found a woman through normal dating channels willing to date me who looks as amazing as these women.

‘I mean, there aren’t any illusions, I definitely want to have sex with these women, but I’m also trying to have some intimacy with someone as if we were already lovers.

‘But to be specific about the sex, it’s fairly vanilla.’

(It’s OK Tom, I feel the same way about internet dating too.)


Steven, 24, teacher

Living in a shared house doesn’t lend itself to intimacy (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

‘I ended up seeing a sex worker out of sheer frustration at London housing.

‘I moved here a couple of years ago, and live in a tiny room in a house share with three other people.

‘Dating is really hard when you get to the ‘do you want to come back to mine?’ stage.

‘All the women I met feel the same way as me in that we end up sneaking around our flatmates.

‘It seems a bit ridiculous when I write it down, but when you’re just looking for some fun, I don’t really want everyone hearing through the paper-thin walls, and the women I met on dating sites felt exactly the same.

‘So one day I just took the plunge. I found someone who did ‘incalls’, where I could go and visit her, and all in all it just seemed a bit cheaper and less of a hassle than messaging someone, going on a date, trying to arrange times to meet up etc.

‘Instead, I found someone who I was attracted to, told her what I wanted (nothing much, just sex), arranged a time, and went over.

‘The only thing I was surprised about was that she seemed a little put off that I was 24.

‘She said she liked the older guys because they knew what they were doing. I thought seeing a young buck like me would be a nice change!’

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