Under fire from the National Human Rights Commission after reports of children swimming to school due to lack of a bridge across the river, the Gujarat government has hit back, saying that the issue is, in fact, an exercise in skill development.

“Under the vision of Prime Minister Narendra Modiji, it was decided to make the students swim to school. Not only is swimming a very good life-saving skill, but is also extremely beneficial for good health. If these kids swim daily as a routine, one of them could even grow up to become India’s Michael Phelps, who knows! Has anyone else thought about skill development like this? Such is the vision of Modiji and all people can think of is sending us notices about human rights. Rubbish!” a disappointed Gujarat CM Anandiben Patel told The UnReal Times.

“Also, I don’t understand what the big fuss about safety is? By default, Amit bhai is anyway keeping a watch over these kids who swim in the river, regardless of where he is. So even if anything untoward happens, the situation can easily be efficiently encountered..err..dealt with,” the CM added. “In fact, to be honest, I’m sort of disappointed that Modiji didn’t include the phrase ‘SWIM IN INDIA!’ in his Independence Day speech,” Mrs.Patel said.

Meanwhile, the Congress was quick to pounce on the move, claiming that it is they who initiated the practice of skill development. “By not providing enough amenities, it was we who started the practice of developing people’s skills like this. As usual, Modiji has copied the idea from us,” said Congress spokesperson Sanjay Jha.

PS – As soon as this article was published, this is what happened on The UnReal Times’ Facebook wall: