Even when I’m not high I have a hard time following Donald Trump’s “logic,” and today was no exception.

Being high doesn’t help either, come to think of it.

Neither does huffing solvent.

Or glue.

Or Clorox.

You pretty much have to fill your mouth with steel wool, drop three tabs of acid, and hook your brain up to a truck battery. Then everything in the universe becomes clear, including whatever the fuck Trump is talking about at any given moment.

Case in point: This festering lump of rubbish.

Trump said he felt obligated to give the top Justice Department job to [Jeff] Sessions because of his strong support during the 2016 presidential campaign. “I didn’t want to make him attorney general, but he was the first senator to endorse me, so I felt a little bit of an obligation,” Trump said on Fox News’s “Fox & Friends.” “He came to see me four times, just begging me to be attorney general. He wasn’t, to me, equipped to be attorney general, but he just wanted it, wanted it, wanted it.” Trump noted that Sessions was from Alabama — “a state that I love” — and that Sessions had served as the state’s attorney general.

To sum up: Donald Trump thought Jeff Sessions was unqualified to be the top law enforcement official in the country but nominated him anyway because he really wanted the job and Trump likes Alabama.

That’s it.

The real reason, of course, is that Trump wanted a mob fixer, and Sessions refused to fulfill that role.

Of course, this raises an important question: Why would a man who claims he hires only the best people nominate an unqualified person to serve on his cabinet?

Only Donald Trump can answer that one — and, sadly, Donald Trump can’t give you a coherent answer.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.