It’s been a long time since I’ve sported an England jersey, a really long time. So much so, my shirt is not current and I’m unlikely to purchase anything less outdated in the foreseeable. As an English national, I feel I’ve always been rather duped into thinking that my home country really stand any chance at success at a large tournament; this summer was no different, but now Roy Hodgson has dealt us more frustrating news. Hodgson has appointed Wayne Rooney, Manchester United semi-saviour and flouncy hairdo purveyor, captain of the England squad. Many might see this as logical, due to his age, international caps and experience, whilst others might perceive this to be suitably unsettling. My spot here on the fence is rather warm.

I remember Euro 2004, not just because it was an entire 10 years ago and I had reached double digits, but because England seemed in prime shape. Scrolling through internet archives, it is blatant that Wayne Rooney was hailed as some form of demi-God; a nation’s faith was placed on to his laces and he was ready to whack it straight into the back of the net. He did, for some time, but it all rather fizzled out for Mr. Rooney. Although his post-Everton career at Manchester United has been wholly fruitful and encouraging, it alarms me substantially to glance at an article from ’04 to see him compared to the mighty Brazilian Pelé; ‘Is Rooney the new Pelé?’ was the peculiar, and somewhat disillusioned in hindsight, title (The Guardian, June 2004). It cannot just be me who fails to comprehend how such a matching could be made?

From a full team perspective, the England vs. France game of Euro 2004 was inspirational; the playmaking was creative, deft and Rooney was diving in at every moment. This isn’t so familiar anymore. The flamboyance that England once had is absent now, in fact, their new methods on the ball are almost unrecognisable. Although a saddening 2-1 score eventually, England showed great potential that game and Rooney was phenomenal. My ever-flowing scepticism derives from Rooney’s dramatic footballing nosedive since then. The international main stage has showcased poor performance after poor performance from Rooney, and now Roy Hodgson has thrown him the reins.

The crux of the matter with Rooney’s fresh captaincy is that he has never been utterly outstanding since the sort-of glory days of 2004. I’m not convinced that’s even a little harsh a statement; I haven’t donned my England shirt since then, and I’m adamant neither my brother nor parents have (not that my mother has ever expressed an interest in “watching sports”). However, albeit a bumpy international road for Rooney et al., Hodgson has a wealth of young players at his disposal, but none with enough wisdom to prevail. Additionally, he is not exactly fighting possible candidates off with a stick; England harbours absolutely no natural born leader to undertake the role, and so I suppose this fuels Hodgson’s motive to employ Rooney. The 28-year-old Gerrard successor is deemed the “obvious choice” by his coach, and with his infallible commitment, perhaps I ought to agree (Evening Standard, August 2014). Furthermore, the retirement of Steven Gerrard left Hodgson in a small pickle, but the departures of Frank Lampard and Ashley Cole worsened the situation.

As much as I’m not a fan of Wayne Rooney, this could be due to my general lack of patriotism at times (do you really blame me?) and the flawed skill I have constantly witnessed from him. Despite this, I urge you to acknowledge that there really isn’t anybody else. Joe Hart perhaps could have been a decent choice as he’s really the only other fairly safe contender, but in Hodgson’s shoes, I think I would have selected an outside-the-box (literally) player too. I must add that it really isn’t Rooney’s fault that his country seems incapable of breeding truly sensational talent anymore, and hope that he can prove the cynics, including me, wrong. The youngsters in the squad will just have to mature and wait their turn for the captain’s armband.

Who would you have picked for captain? Feel free to Tweet me.

Thank you for reading. Please take a moment to follow me on Twitter – @lastwordimogen. Support LWOS by following us on Twitter – @LastWordOnSport and @LWOSworld – and “liking” our Facebook page.

For the latest in sports injury news, check out our friends at Sports Injury Alert.

Have you tuned into Last Word On Sports Radio? LWOS is pleased to bring you 24/7 sports radio to your PC, laptop, tablet or smartphone. What are you waiting for? GO!

Feel free to discuss this and other footy related articles with thousands of fans at r/football.