Someone asked me, if I found the perfect girlfriend—would I quit the confidence business and settle down?

I didn’t have an answer.

First, I’ll never quit my business, the business will only be adapted to my fluctuating interests, and second, I’m not sure what my perfect girl is.

I often ask students to describe their perfect girl. They reply: “Brunette (for some reason many guys figure brunettes make better gf’s. Think Betty and Veronica maybe?), curvy, fit, big tits, big eyes, round ass, freckles, tight legs, submissive, likes to cook, loyal, loves to give blowjobs.”

“What you have here,” I say, “is a stripper, or a fuck doll.”

Of course, men will focus on the beauty, with a small dash of, “willing to please.” By nature we’re hunters and gatherers who’ve been fooled into domestication with the promise of sex and affection. Oh well.

Look to the past, men were horrified of granting women power, like the right to vote, or bare skin. Men repressed womans’ freedoms so they would conform to the Patriarchy for men, and not against men. In fundamentalist countries they’re still terrified of their women becoming Americanized sluts. If a woman wears a short skirt, or goes to college, they get raped and have acid thrown in their face. Ahh, freedom! Yolo college girls! We love your freedom.

Men travel to Eastern Europe, Asia, and abroad to find girlfriend material. These women make great girlfriends because mate selection is a matter of survival, or upgrading to a better life. In North America, the boyfriend is a utility for social and emotional needs. We’re the new couch, or the trip to Thailand. The best women I’ve dated were Brazilian, Mexican, Ukrainian. These girls weren’t dirt eating village tramps, or club hopping coke dancers. They rode the middle ground between educated and traditional—Feminine and loyal, yet adventurous.

Where’s the balance in North America? Women have been taught to party hard, fuck around in their twenties, get top grades and choose a demanding, high paying career. So in their thirties, they’re single and wealthy, while North American men play Xbox and smoke pot for breakfast, ashamed of their sexuality, untested in battle, and lacking ambition in life, or skill in dating.

We’re not fighting for survival; we’re fighting to escape boredom in a society that prizes individual accomplishment over community building. We don’t need each other. A partner is a want, not a need. So women will consider your looks and social status and ability to spike her emotions–over mental stability and provider capabilities. Unless you are breaking the million dollar a year income bracket, your provider ability is null. You unfortunately, need game.

I don’t hate my country’s women, I just find they aren’t the best girlfriend material.

When it comes to mate selection, men primarily make choices based on visual aesthetics. Our genetic drive wants us to impregnate a beautiful woman, to create beautiful, strong, healthy babies. We know this. But the readers of absoluteability.com aren’t that dim. We understand that long term relationship success will rely on more than her physical beauty…so why is it so important to us? Why don’t we lower our expectations and settle for a little fatty that can cook? A dim witted, willing to please pug?

All men want a pretty, smart, girlfriend, and that’s ok. Just like all women want a handsome, funny, ambitious, renowned, masculine, fit, tall, rich, talented boyfriend—because the quality of our mate is a reflection of our own societal value. A woman with a beautiful, successful man must be desirable—a man with a sexy girlfriend must be a high achiever. We figure we deserve it, even if we’re fat, broke, anti-social, alcoholic and boring.

Everyone wants to be desired, respected, and remembered.

I have a lot of friends who are great at picking up women—really cool guys that women love. Almost none of them have monogamous girlfriends. I looked at my own life, and at theirs, and realized that most “players” are not players. They’re just shooting above their league.

The last real girlfriend I had was delightful. She was not only beautiful, but highly intelligent. She had interesting hobbies, like photography, that she shared with me. She went to the gym to stay fit, she didn’t smoke, rarely drank heavily, and was open to learning about my life and interests. Of course she had her shortcomings, but so did I. I often wonder why did I stay monogamous with this girl, and not the many others? Plenty of women could fill out that list.

Because she was the best I thought I could get. And we had chemistry, that undefinable attraction mechanism. Shit, even the smell of her armpit gave me an erection.

Guys like me, we usually choose sexual variety over monogamy. Is there any reason to have a girlfriend when the world is my sexual oyster and something better, prettier, smarter, funnier, younger, lays just over the horizon? It’s the byproduct of studying seduction for a 2/3 of a decade. Often, my favourite part of a sex-date, is when she goes home, and I can smoke a joint and read science-fiction, or work on my novel, or go to the gym, or visit one of my best friends.

But that’s what a girlfriend should be…a best friend. Someone who adds value to your life, who keeps you aroused, and illuminated with their philosophies and feminine wit, who supports your cause, even if that means facilitating your need for sexual variety, because she knows the boundaries of your relationship—the guidelines are apparent. And you know what you must do to keep her, and you’ll worry often about fucking it up, and you’ll stay on your game.

A good girlfriend will not allow laziness. She will question your choices, point out flaws in your lifestyle, and facilitate growth. You should do the same for her. And if you don’t want a girlfriend, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. And if you only desire sexual abundance, there’s nothing wrong with that. And if you want a chubby little wife with baby making hips, there’s nothing wrong with that.

When you’re shit is together, at your peak, on your edge, you won’t need to find the perfect girl—she will find you.

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