بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ ﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم

الحمد الله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله و بعد

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته



Compiled by: Umm Safura



Making Excuses For Your Fellow Brothers & Sisters

"Do not think badly of a word uttered by your brother, when you can find a good interpretation for it."



Majmoo' Fataawa Ibn Bāz [26/365]

‘Abdullāh Ibn Muhammad Ibn Manaazil saod:

"The Believer seeks excuses for his brothers, and the hypocrite seeks the mistakes for his brothers."

[Ash-Shu’ab, 7/11197]

Ja’far Ibn Muhammad said:

“If something that you dislike reaches you about your brother then search for one excuse for him up to seventy excuses. If it hits the mark, (then good). If not, then say, ‘Perhaps he has an excuse that I am not aware of.‘ ”

[Al-Jaami' Li Shu'ab Al-Īmān, 14/442]

Muhammad Ibn Sireen said:

“If something reaches you about your brother, then search for an excuse for him.

If you do not find an excuse for him, then make an excuse for him.”

[Al-Jaami' Li Shu'ab Al-Īmān, 14/441]

Abū Haatim said:

“Rebuking a person’s for their every mistake, even minor ones, constantly, will lead to the love diminishing.”

[Rawdhah, p. 182]

Fudayl Ibn ‘Iyaḍ asid:

“Whoever seeks a brother without faults would never have a brother to be his friend.”

[Rawdatul ‘Uqaalaa, p. 169]

He/she was upset

He/she is depressed

He/she found out bad news

He/she is suffering from an illness

He/she lost their job

He/she is in debt

He/she lost a family member

He/she's mind is all over the place - they can't think straight

He/she found out they have an illness

He/she are looking after their ill family member

He/she snapped because of pressure they are facing - something you do not know about!

He/she is upset and is being pressured

He/she didn't know

He/she was crying

He/she is being abused

He/she is going through divorce

She had a miscarriage

He/she is in an abusive relationship

He/she is suffering from a hardship

You studied Adab al Mufrad - you need to try out what you learnt

- you need to try out what you learnt He/she wants to be alone so that they can respond to you later with kindness, not when they are in a mess.

He/she fainted





He/she has to do other tasks other people have asked them to do. Give them a chance and don't constantly nag them lest they pull themselves away from you!

He/she has a surprise for you

Is sensitive because of things that have happened in the past

He/she's marriage is falling a part

He/she needs support but aren't not receiving any

He/she has lost contact with family members and are trying to reconcile with them

He/she is trying their best but you are not appreciating

He/she ignored you because they do not wish to answer it

He/she has been threatened, sometimes it can be life threatening

He/she is trying their best to make time for you but things keep coming up - Qadr Allah be patient

You asked Allah to test you with patience and good mannerisms now is your chance to work on it!

He/she is alone/lonely

You are being hasty, be patient and know everything will happen in its own time, your hastiness could lead to destruction.

Maybe it's something you said which made them react, be humble and accept your mistake

He/she doesn't like to be rushed as they will end up panicking

He/she has not fulfilled the task yet as they have been caught up

He/she doesn't want to tell you something that's private

He/she were neglected in their childhood and are finding it hard to know how to respond to certain things, or in general they find it hard to respond to things

He/she is suffering from an untold story

He/she forgot, because of an illness or stress

He/she is shy, so they shy away from things

He/she is being oppressed

He/she has been slandered

You just believed a lie that has been said about them

You said something horrible that hurt their feelings (they're avoiding you) - repent

You're not giving them space!

He/she might have repented for a sin, don't look down upon them like the saying goes: "Judging people is not our responsibility. It is not our duty to think of punishing others."



Shaykh Rabee:



The one who is deficient, we should not belittle him nor ruin him. The one who makes mistakes from amongst us, we should not demolish him. May Allah bless you. Rather, we should rectify the situation with gentleness and wisdom and we should approach him with love, concern, and all the praiseworthy mannerisms. We advise him with true advice in order that he returns and repents.



Majmoo' Khutub wa Rasaail Volume 1 page 481

"There is nothing heavier on the Scale than good manners."

Recorded by Abū Dāwūd with a Ṣaḥīh chain



Explanation of Important Lessons For Every Muslim - Shaykh Ibn Bāz page 290

Allah is testing you to see how you treat others

He/she is in pain, whether it be physically or mentally

He/she is going through anxiety/panic attacks - the remaining symptoms can go on for weeks.

He/she has another side to their story which you do not know about - don't be to quick to assume things

He/she is need of mercy and kindness

He/she is trying their best - be careful how you treat a person

He/she have received the most horrible news

He/she wants to repent to Allah (so they didn't respond to you).

He/she said yes to help you because they don't want you to be disappointed, appreciate it

He/she said no because it's not written for them to help you - seek assistance from Allah

You have not implemented "To love for your brother as you love for yourself."

Last but not least - he/she have tasted death.

إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ إِخْوَةٌ فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَ أَخَوَيْكُمْ ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُرْحَمُونَ

The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion). So make reconciliation between your brothers, and fear Allah, that you may receive mercy

Sūrah Al Hujuraat verse 10

And finally treat people like you would like to be treated! Before you mock them, take these two as a reminder/warning:

Ibn al-Qayyim said:

“Whoever mocks his brother for a sin they repented from will not die until he himself falls into the same sin.”

[Madaarij vol 1 p. 177]



Ibn al-Qayyim:

Allāh is towards you as you are towards Him and His servants.

(al-Wabil, p. 80)



One of the daughters of Aadam,

Umm Safura b. As-Sa'adiyyah

"What is prescribed for the believer is to respect his brother if he apologises to him and accept his excuse if possible, and to think positively of him whenever possible, in hopes that hearts will be free from resentment and that people will be brought together and will incorporate in doing good. It was narrated by `Umar ibn Al-Khattāb - may Allāh be pleased with him -Here's a list of excuses you can make (some maybe repeated, it can also be a reminder):All these excuses can be understood in different ways, there's always reasons for something. Please, please make excuses there are so many things that can be happening in your fellow brother's and sister's lives which they do not want to disclose because they want to be patient and leave it to and entrust their affairs to the Most High. Everyone has different personalities not everyone is like you.