The media have been on a walk-of-shame bender since 2016. They were whored out by Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, swallowed the Christopher Steele dossier, and still get drunk-dialed by the Left. The cheap-date journos show up every time.

Each morning, the media floozies trudge through the quad wearing their “I’m With Her” t-shirts from the night before while they come up with a new cover story for their bad behavior. They lie, distort what actually happened, change the subject, and make excuses for why they got in bed with an ungrateful lover. “Hey, it’s better than sleeping with that other guy!” They insist they’re not being used, but everyone who sees them meander back to the dorm knows they are.

Last week was perhaps one of the tawdriest of the walks of shame taken by the flat-on-its-back, call-me-later commentariat. Still desperate to prove their Hillary hook-up was worth it, the media had several flings over the past several days: North Korea, FBI Director Christopher Wray (again), a white supremacist group, and Russian social-media bots all got bedded. Like the easy girl who never learns her lesson, journalists and opinion-writers keep ruining their reputations in the futile hope of getting some love from their greedy suitors in the #Resistance, then they traipse their escapades through news websites and social media to justify their deed.

Let’s take a look at last week’s Walk of Shame, shall we?

I Heart North Korea: Nothing says self-respect like going home with the last bully in the bar, the guy no one else will sleep with. The same press corps that was apoplectic after President Trump tweeted about the size of his nuclear button in response to Kim Jong-un’s provocations (some in the media insisted the president was declaring war on social media) fell in love with the dictator’s little sister, Kim Yo-jong, at the Winter Olympics in Seoul.

The New York Times cooed about how the totalitarian’s sis flashed “a sphinx-like smile and without ever speaking in public, Ms. Kim managed to outflank Mr. Trump’s envoy to the Olympics, Vice President Mike Pence, in the game of diplomatic image-making.” CNN said she was “stealing the show” and ABC News fawned over this “youthful, photogenic individual” and her “enigmatic smile.” The Washington Post, while dismissing the fact that her family “threatens nuclear war and deprives its people of food and information,” nonetheless admired her “high cheekbones and fine ears” and “Mona Lisa face.”

But nothing could top this from ThinkProgress, a Soros-funded outfit run by former Clinton/Obama lackeys:

Despite Mike Pence’s sabotage, North Korea’s ‘charm offensive’ appears to be working https://t.co/2XzwJ80nXI pic.twitter.com/xGELKcB9xS — ThinkProgress (@thinkprogress) February 11, 2018

Facing criticism, even from some of the Left, about Kim’s glowing press coverage, CNNs Chris Cuomo, a reliable #Resistance ho, of course blamed the president:

You don’t think having a President who lies about what is “fake” and actively maligns the free press out of convenience is a bigger reason for animosity toward us than how some decide to cover this bs? https://t.co/xyaZ3HRYIS — Christopher C. Cuomo (@ChrisCuomo) February 11, 2018

Go home, Chris. You’re drunk.

Chris Wray is My Hero: For a solid week, the media pounded on the Rob Porter story, insisting the White House knew for months that Porter’s two ex-wives had accused him of verbal, emotional, and one instance of physical abuse. (Read more here.) During Senate testimony on February 13, FBI Director Christopher Wray gave a timeline of how his agency handled the former staff secretary’s security clearance.

Although Wray clearly said he couldn’t get into the specific content of what information was given to the White House, the media got all hot and bothered by it, celebrating how Wray’s remarks proved the White House harbored a wife-beater. Slate claimed Wray’s cryptic comments proved, “the White House has been lying for the past week about former White House Staff Secretary Rob Porter’s security clearance status.” But leave it to party-pooper Trey Gowdy, the House Oversight Committee chairman looking into the whole Porter mess, to break up the lovefest. Gowdy confronted CNN’s Alisyn Camerota after she insisted Wray had contradicted the White House’s account of what happened: “Do you know what he told them?” She had no answer, of course, because she hasn’t a clue, but why let facts get in the way of a fun romp in the political hay?

A White Nationalist Would Never Lie to Me: Desperate to pin the horrific and heartbreaking Florida high school massacre on Donald Trump—after all, the NRA-has-blood-on-their-hands mantra isn’t sexy enough any more—the media fell for the old “trust me, I’m a white supremacist” pick-up line. Based on the flimsiest of evidence, the Anti-Defamation League reported that “a spokesperson for the white supremacist group Republic of Florida (ROF) claimed that Nikolas Cruz, the man charged with the previous day’s deadly shooting spree at a Parkland, Florida, high school, was associated with his group.” (Since when do white nationalist groups have “spokespeople?”)

But nothing is more powerful an aphrodisiac to the media than the word “alt-right” so upon the suggestion of it, they started shedding their clothes without a second thought. The New York Post declared the shooter “trained as a member of the white nationalist militia” and ABC News also claimed the killer was a member of the group. Pundits wasted no time connecting the killer to the alt-right, to Trump, and to the GOP:

Nikolas Cruz Instagram profile had Trump MAGA Hat. He also parroted Trump bigotry about Muslims. https://t.co/CDOmRzcbtP — David Cay Johnston (@DavidCayJ) February 15, 2018



An eager NeverTrumper even got in on the act:

I don’t know whether the shooter really was a white supremacist or not, but the fact a white supremacy group is claiming him should remind Republicans they need to stop flirting with the alt-right. — Erick Erickson (@EWErickson) February 15, 2018

But tragically, from the point of view of the media, the hook-up was brief: The whole thing was a hoax. (Politico published a good explainer.) Friday night, the Associated Press embarrassingly admitted that “a white nationalist appears to have lied to The Associated Press and other news organizations when he claimed that Florida school-shooting suspect Nikolas Cruz was a member of his obscure group.” Dear God, if we can’t trust white supremacists, who can we trust?

I Must Have Had My Bot-Glasses On: This one could be a longer fling. It’s a holiday weekend so it might need revisiting since they’re still getting it on. On Friday, the Justice Department announced charges against 13 Russian nationals and three Russian companies for conspiring to interfere in the 2016 presidential election starting in 2014.

The indictment is a weird hodgepodge of accusations about social media use, hashtags, rallies and pranks: “For example, Defendants and their co-conspirators asked one U.S. person to build a cage on a flatbed truck and another U.S. person to wear a costume portraying Clinton in a prison uniform.” The defendants are accused of organizing “U.S. political rallies in support of then president-elect Trump, while simultaneously using other false U.S. personas to organize and coordinate U.S. political rallies protesting the results” of the election.

Although the indictment doesn’t mention Russian President Vladimir Putin or make any connection between the conspirators and the Trump campaign, the media claimed the information debunked President Trump’s comments that Russian election-interference is a “hoax.” The New York Times, Washington Post, New Yorker magazine, CNN, the Los Angeles Times, and USA Today are just a few of the news organizations insisting Trump was wrong about the “myth” of Russian election meddling.

Rick Wilson, one of the more nasty among the embittered NeverTrumpers, even seemed a little more unhinged than usual:

1/ Sweet Jesus the MAGAS, the clickservatives, and Gentry Breitbart think he’s exonerated. It’s freaking spectacular. SPEC-TAC-ULAR. — Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) February 16, 2018

Ah, nice try, but since the grand jury charges came from the special investigation into how the Trump campaign colluded with Russia to steal the presidency, we can tell the difference. The “hoax” was about Donald, Jr., Carter Page, George Papadopoulos, Paul Manafort, Michael Flynn, Jared Kushner and whoever the Rooskie Villain of the Week was; not about some shady Facebook posts and Twitter hashtags.

So, media one-night-stands, you can cover up with sunglasses, a borrowed sweatshirt, or even a pussy hat. We know who you are and what you did. Maybe morning-after guilt will set in some day, but for now, it looks you’re your perpetual walk-of-shame isn’t ending any time soon.