Coming home from a pretty crappy day, I was delighted to see a box waiting for me! It was a big, black, safe! I tried the dial, but I was never given the combination. Despairing that I would never recover the treasure hidden within, I gave up on playing numbers and decided to take a more direct approach. Looking through my drawer of endless dimensions, I found a useful tool indeed! I used my newly found magical butter knife of opening and was able to crack the code so to speak. Congratulating myself on a job well done, I let my guard down and peered inside.

I was met with a trap! I was encased in a web of plastic wrap and a color spray of tissue paper! Thankfully I still had my magical blade on hand. I struggled with the paper horrors. I cut and slashed my way free, receiving more paper cuts and plastic burns than I would like to admit. Reaching carefully into the unknown chest, my hand brushed against a small wrapped parcel. My first gift! I gently worked my prize out of its wrapping and gazed upon a black velvet( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT4d1LQy4es ) bag. I reached in and never hit the bottom of the bag! I found a bag of holding! I excitedly tied it to my belt and ventured on.

The next two items were very curious indeed. I came across a tiny figurine holding a pipe and wearing a pointed, brimmed hat and robes with cheetah fringe. huddled near the figure were five tiny snowmen standing at attention. They looked impressive in their winter armor. Caps, mittens, vests of green and red. Splendid regalia indeed! I plucked the figurine and his retinue out of the box and set them on the table.

Reaching into the safe a third time, I found a small pouch with a note attached. I pulled the note from the pouch and read its words. "Rattle and shake, roll your fate. If your number is high, you are free, if it be low you belong to me. Best two of three." I Heard a rustle on the table and was greeted with a tall, skinny old man holding a pipe. This man introduced himself cordially as one Elminster of Shadow dale. He told me how he had been trapped by the mad king Petah. He said that he had let his curiosity get the best of him and he didn't have his guard up while in audience with the king. He laid on one of the kings many rugs and was asked to play a game of riddles. Unfortunately he could not recite the riddle of the Casbah and was punished by mad Petah. He went on to tell me that if I were to best him in a game of bones, he could give me the riddle to make the Casbah shake and to bring the mad king to his knees. Out the dice came and our game began. The first roll was horrible. I rolled a 3 of 20 and he rolled 19. The next roll was scary indeed! we both rolled 11 of 20. A draw! The next roll was in my favor: 5 of 20 to his 2. The last roll was crucial. I rolled the die, praying for luck. 20 of 20! Almost relieved, Elminster rolled a 7 of 20 and handed me a scroll. He and his guardians dissolved slowly. I was happy to not have to contend with his snowy knights.

Reaching into the box yet again, I came across a wrapped rectangular box. I ripped at the paper and saw a large C in the corner. Feverishly I tore at the rest of the wrapping and was confronted with the Casbah! Remembering myself, I pulled the scroll that Elminster had given me after our contest. I recited the words over and over again: "Sharif don't like it! Rock the Casbah! Rock the Casbah!" slowly the box shook and built momentum. It took what seemed like hours but I was able to turn the Mad kings palace into delicious ball of falafel. As the walls were crumbling I heard a shriek and from underneath the rubble of the Casbah crawled the mad King Petah. He was clutching his knee in agony (http://www.adultswim.com/videos/family-guy/peter-hurts-his-knee/). I quickly placed falafel upon his doughy body and consumed King Petah. The king was dead. Long live the King! A king without a Casbah, I settled for my mundane living room. Pressing my luck, I reached into the Safe one final time. I felt the stem of a heavy object. Using both hands I pulled with all my might and pulled a beautiful goblet from the box. A kings cup! I drank like a man possessed. I soon lost consciousness.

Waking up on the floor hours later, I rolled onto my side and noticed a folded piece of paper and a chocolate wrapper. "Merry Christmas from your Secret Santa! Enjoy your gifts but save the chocolate mushrooms for last. They contain magic!"