Runny innards aside, statewide, it’s still against the law to borrow a vacuum cleaner from a neighbor or to mutilate a rock in a state park. Therefore, the passage of Denver’s public elimination ordinance means that if a hiker happens upon a boulder in one of Denver’s state parks he or she is prohibited from etching a heart with an arrow into the stone.

Although a bit uncivilized, it stands to reason that Denver, the first US city to legalize social marijuana, felt it was imperative to decriminalize the non-violent act of urinating or pooping on the pavement. After all, studies show that occasionally cannabis smoking has a laxative effect on the body.

However, if a lactose intolerant hiker eats too much queso fresco at lunch, and can’t make it to the park restroom in time, the non-violent crime of using a rock as a toilet will no longer get that person a one-way ticket back to a country where E-Coli is spread on more than cilantro.

Likewise, if a homeless illegal migrant should happen to squat on the sidewalk in front of a Denver residence, borrowing a wet/dry shop-vac from a neighbor to clean up the walkway could result in the person using the suction device having to pay $1,000 fine, or having to spend the night in jail.

Unlike criminal vacuum-borrowers and lawless rock-desecrators, henceforth, in Denver, vagrant illegals, who came to America from countries Donald Trump less-than-tactfully described as sewers, will be able to freely spread diversity like organic fertilizer in a multicultural garden

Then again, decriminalizing public defecation is just one step forward in the global advancement of diversity. Speaking on behalf of the city’s ruling, Mark Silverstein, Director for the American Civil Liberties Union of Colorado, said that the decision to permit public pooping was made because “Many times it becomes a deportable offense if you’ve been convicted of even a minor ordinance violation that’s punishable by a year in jail.”

What’s confusing for those who regularly use restrooms is that a better life was supposed to be the excuse undocumented travelers gave for coming to America, to begin with. How does permitting people to leave human excrement on the sidewalk cultivate an environment unlike the one migrants came from? And if the culture illegals left behind ends up being foisted upon America – how does that improve anyone’s life?

Yet pro-illegal immigrant activist-types seem to believe it is “soft bigotry” to insist illegals assimilate by finding their way to a restroom like the rest of the civilized world. Ironically, by allowing in Denver what is common for 40-million people in Pakistan, the left not only encourages unsanitary conditions, they also tacitly insinuate that people from certain countries are incapable of learning to use the bathroom.

And who’s the bigot?

Denver, Colorado has a larger illegal migrant population than Philadelphia and San Francisco, which is probably why the progressive sanctuary city was inspired to embrace a global mindset and allow illegals to reminisce about home-and-hearth by dropping their draws and crouching on the footpath outside of Starbucks.

Instead of raising the standard, Denver city leaders lowered the bar and opened their minds by allowing destitute illegal immigrants to open their bowels on the sidewalk. The result of this particular progressive legislation is that another American city is being turned into the type of feces-strewn sewer those on the left incessantly argue Americans are responsible to help illegal immigrants escape.

Recently, it’s even been alleged that President Donald Trump coined Haiti a “sh*thole” country because, due to lack of sanitation, Haitians do what Denver has just made legal -- they relieve themselves on the street.

Offended Trump-haters reacted by charging the President with racism and xenophobia for speaking the truth. After all, why would Denver have to allow public pooping for immigrants if immigrants didn’t come from countries where pooping publicly was the norm?

To protest Trump’s perceived insult, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi accused the POTUS of wanting “to make America white again.” To stress the point, Nancy decided to show her disapproval by announcing she’ll be bringing potty-trained illegals to the State of the Union address. Think of it, since Barack Obama lionized unlawfulness and convinced people who entered America dishonestly that they were victims with rights, people who should be detained and deported now have the gall to show up at the State of the Union to taunt America’s Chief Law Enforcement Officer.

Thus far, President Trump has not responded by threatening to bring a posse of ICE agents to the SOTU or by proposing that an empty cargo plane will be at the ready fueled and aimed toward countries where public defecation is a national pastime.

Either way, back in Denver, San Francisco, and even New York City, illegals that weren’t asked to attend the SOTU will continue to be coddled by city ordinances that have chosen to overlook resettled migrants transforming what were once iconic cities into poop-strewn public latrines. And so, once again, liberal politicians have aided and abetted the progressive destruction of cities where pooping on the pavement is no longer considered a crime but an inescapable expression of cultural diversity.

Jeannie hosts a blog at www.jeannie-ology.com