Pick of the week: MGM Film Noir

Dog of the week: Thunderpants

When my kids were young and paid attention to most everything I said, I tried to get them excited about "Mystery Science Theater 3000." After all, there were colorful puppets and a few goofy humans, just like on "The Muppet Show." Sadly, this was a no-sale. Something was not quite right about this bunch, the toddlers decided.

And so my plans to spend Saturdays in front of the tube listening to three guys crack wise about awful movies (Sandy Frank! Sandy Frank!) were cruelly interrupted by demands for "Beauty and the Beast" and "Thomas the Tank Engine."

Now, my kids have weird hair, drive cars and never look at TV anyway. Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett, the talent behind "MST3K," are off the air, but they've found a way to keep the party going with "The Film Crew." This DVD series from Shout Factory! shifts the concept from outer space to a basement where they answer to a guy named Bob Honcho. As before, the boys skewer old rotten movies via new commentary tracks.

The first in the Film Crew series, "Hollywood After Dark," is a steaming pile of B-movie wreckage from 1968 (aka "Walk the Angry Beach"). The most offending element is Rue McClanahan, who plays a stripper and insists on dancing nude. Yikes! The lunchbucket trio points out, correctly, that she was hotter as an old lady in "The Golden Girls."

Is the show as good as "MST3K" ? Yes and no. The concept just isn't as funny without a wise-ass Crow robot. But then, that can be said of most things in this life.

Also worth checking out: Four "Film Noir" titles from MGM, three of them starring Edward G. Robinson .

New and notable:

After the Wedding (Genius Products)

The Astronaut Farmer (Warner)

Beauty and the Beast: Second Season (Paramount)

Bewitched: Fifth Season (Sony)

A Bullet for Joey (MGM Film Noir)

Kansas City Confidential (MGM Film Noir)

The Stranger (MGM Film Noir)

The Woman in the Window (MGM Film Noir)

Three Films by Hiroshi Teshigahara (The Criterion Collection)

Extras: The Complete Second Season (HBO Films)

The Film Crew: Hollywood After Dark (Shout!)

Joan Collins: Superstar Collection (Fox)

The Last Mimzy (New Line)

The Last Time (Sony)

Complete list of today's releases on my pal Harley's site, onvideo.org

