ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

AS THERE’S NOW ALMOST THREE TIMES as many genders as there was twenty years ago, the current toilet signage found throughout the world is coming under fire from everyday people.

While being insensitive to melange sexualities and genders, the signs have also come under attack for not reinforcing a positive body image because of how the legs of the figures are depicted.

Now the original designers are being asked to come up with an alternative.

Speaking from a university lawn this morning, one socialist remarked that the archaic and patriarchal signs need to go before any more harm is done to self-esteems.

“The signage on toilet doors reinforce a negative body image. Just recently when I emptied myself into a Circular Quay public toilet, I heard a child ask it’s mother” ‘Mummy, why don’t my legs look like that?’ From then on, I needed to do something, just as long as it wasn’t too hard,” said Sydney University phrenology student Ashely Cameron.

“By taking a stand against institutions like the one educating me, people should start to get that the current toilet signage around the globe doesn’t exactly scream 2016.”

When asked what a viable alternative could be, Cameron reminded us that other non-Western cultures have gone without fat shaming toilet door signage for nearly the entirety of recorded history.

“Just look at parts of Asia, they don’t have any oppressive signage anywhere. They have a system of open defecation that’s both better for the environment and healing for people with self-esteem issues. If Clover Moore got off her arse and created some designated shitting streets for people to de-cork their colon wine, we’d all be much better off.”

The Advocate approached the Attorney-General’s office for comment but we were told that if we try to contact them again, we wouldn’t last longer than a useless dog on a sheep station.