Unless she's a porker. Yow yow -- more bacon for the shakin'! More...smoked flavor for the savor? Shit I got nothin'.

Instructables is currently holding a contest (until May 8th) in which participants are challenged to create things out of bacon. The winner gets an iPad 2. The losers get gastric bypass. Me? I get put down a lot by my so-called "friends". *putting fingers in ears* I'M NOT A LOSA -- I'M NOT! User kaptaink_cg posted instructions on how to make a bacon bouquet (who may or may yes have made this one in the past).

Flowers make a nice gift to the friend that needs a smile or for that special someone in your life. Roses are even better. But sometimes even roses don't cut it. Sometimes you need something a little more non-clichÃ©, something...extraordinary... Sometimes, you need BACON.

Whoa whoa whoa -- "sometimes even roses don't cut it"?!?! WHAT THE F*** DID YOU DO?! "Threesome with her best friend and sister." AND YOU STILL GOT A PREENIS?!

All Contest Entries (most of which are pretty vom lookin')

and

Bacon Roses [instructables]

Thanks to MissBixa and somer, who only know how to make three things out of bacon: breakfast, lunch and dinner. WHAT -- NO SNACKS?!