ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Minister of Australia said ‘fuck’ this afternoon as the Coalition’s most senior and experience female parliamentarian decided to pull up her stumps at this year’s election and walk away.

Julie Bishop, of our nation’s Great Far West, told her friends and colleagues today in the House of Representatives that she was done with this shit show and life is too short to be in the Liberal Party.

“The Coalition is going to win the election,” she laughed.

“And I think this is a good time for me to announce I’m stepping off the ship [laughs] and I hope all of you the best for your future endevours.”

A number of Ms Bishop’s colleagues took the time to shake her hand and provide backslaps upon the completion of her speech.

Bob Katter took a crushed Lamington out of his inside jacket pocket and handed it to her, saying he thought she might need his lucky cube cake more than he did now.

Breaking his tough facade for just a minute, Kevin Andrews attempted to hand the outgoing Member for Curtain a Mount Franklin bottle full of his own urine but was stopped by Michael McCormack, who said it was inappropriate.

And with that, Bill Shorten moved a motion to thank Julie for her services to the Labor Party’s election campaign and hoped her new job defending big stone against the stonecutters union’s silicosis class action would be just as fulfilling.

More to come.