I F*CKING LOVE THIS TEAM!

“What a game.”

“Great game.”

“What a great game.”

These seem to be the only responses I’ve received when talking about last Saturday’s upset against №4 Washington. There were no complaints. No critiques. Just a universal appreciation for what has happened.

The season started as worse as I could have imagined. We should have been prepared, but we are one of the most delusional fan bases in the nation. Every year we try to temper our expectations only to fail miserably right before kickoff. We thought we wanted Bama. NO ONE WANTS BAMA!

An absolute embarrassment on live television. Add on two conference losses and people are calling for Coach Helton’s head and wondering if the school should build that new library on campus or send a private plane to Houston and give it all to Tom Herman. I’m just assuming another library is being built since half the school is always under construction.

But the team didn’t quit. I am honestly surprised given the amount of talent leaving this year, but these guys have more heart than the Grinch after he met Cindy Lou Who. Hope everyone has been enjoying these extremely topical references this past year.

Five straight wins later and we arrive at the marquee matchup of the weekend. Of course, this was before half the ranked teams decided to just urinate themselves like your drunk friend who “just needs to lay down for a minute”. But it was the Game of the Week.

Why else would Corso be spiking Salmon like he’s Rob Gronkowski on an ice fishing trip.

The odds were stacked against us. Away game. Inexperienced coach. Inexperienced coach that is bad at away games. The signs all pointed to an embarrassing defeat and going back to square one, wondering how we can get back to the prominence of days past.

Except that didn’t happen. We won. And not only did we win, but we didn’t even have to play our best game to do it. Okay, I’m getting all nostalgic for a season that isn’t even close to being over. Let me just summarize by saying this…

USC IS F*CKING BACK!

Game Recap

I’ve decided to split the blog into a Game Recap and Game Preview since it’s too hard for millennials to read anything for more than five minutes.

A special thanks to Fox Sports for allowing both athletic departments to post highlights. I don’t know what channel you are on my TV, so it makes re-watching this game a lot easier.

1st Quarter

Okay, so not the greatest start to the game, but it’s something we’ve accepted with Sam. He’s going to make one or two mistakes a game and he will make up for it. Just wish it wasn’t a throw to where it seemed like half of Washington’s defense was located.

USC 0 — Wash 3 — Cameron Van Winkle 43 Yard Field Goal

The defense did their part to make sure the mistake didn’t lead to a touchdown, allowing a field goal by what has to be the whitest name I’ve ever heard. This kid has at least four “Make America Great Again” hats in his closet. When he isn’t playing football, he has a tee time with Eric Trump and Richie Rich.

USC 3 — Wash 3 — Matt Boermeester 38 Yard Field Goal

A leg for a leg. Auto-Matt-ic.

Washington had their own Adoree’ in Dante Pettis. Boermeester made sure he wasn’t going to let him be an X-factor with his kicking that day. Our punter, Chris Tilbley limited Pettis as well, but mostly because he was shanking the majority of his punts 30 yards out of bounds. At least it worked.

Browning must not have watched a lot of game film as he didn’t get the memo to not to throw to Jackson’s side.

Don’t throw to him. Don’t kick to him. Just try to tire him out so he doesn’t have enough energy to play offense.

I can see how you can get a little cocky with a stat like that. Fool me once, Shame on Adoree’.

2nd Quarter

USC 10 — Wash 3 — Darreus Rogers 13 Yard pass from Sam Darnold

I want to frame this video and hang it on my wall. This might be the perfect play. The protection by the offensive line. The poise to stay in the pocket by Darnold. And the ability of Rogers to find an open space in the end zone.

I guess trying to contain the quarterback is a good strategy when you aren’t playing against a team that has about eight five-star wide receivers on their roster.

Apologies, Rogers was a four-star recruit. Continue failing to cover him.

Washington’s defense was so successful this year due to their ability to pressure the quarterback with their four down linemen. With the injury to Joe Mathis, Darnold wasn’t getting pressured at all.

The Huskies didn’t seem to change their defensive strategy all game. Which seems smart. Why would you want to try and force the young and mistake-prone quarterback into making bad throws?

Every member of the defensive line kicked ass this game. Stevie, Nwuoso, Green, and Sylvester Stallone’s illegitimate son, Porter Gustin. Browning is going to be leaving his lights on this week to make sure none of them are under the bed or in the closet.

USC 10 — Wash 6 — Cameron Van Winkle 39 Yard Field Goal

Apparently Van Winkle isn’t Einhorn.

That is a two-minute drill right there. Three weeks in a row. Teams should stop leaving so much time for us before half.

Sadly, Clay Helton only had two timeouts before the drive started. He’s starting to take advantage of all that praise we’ve been giving him.

USC 17 — Wash 6 — Ronald Jones II 4 Yard Run

Hell of an effort to get in the end zone by Ronald Jones. More of a truck than a Tesla on this run: more power and awful for the environment (in this case the morale of Washington fans in the stadium).

Halftime

3rd Quarter

Down goes Darnold! DOWN GOES DARNOLD! It’s very rare to see Darnold get tackled behind the line of scrimmage. His elusiveness along with the improvement of the offensive line has made plays like this a rarity.

Playing against Pac-12 defenses helps too.

For comparison, Max Browne was sacked five times in the three games he started this year. Cody Kessler was sacked four times just in the Pac-12 Championship. Matt Barkley ran a 4.9 forty at his draft combine three years ago.

We haven’t exactly had quarterbacks that are able to escape pressure so this stat is pretty staggering. Third and long for the Trojans used to have the fan base praying they don’t bring a blitz. Not anymore.

USC 17 — Wash 13 — John Ross 70 Yard pass from Jake Browning

A rare lowlight for Adoree’ Jackson as he got burned for the big touchdown.

A win makes it a lot easier to laugh about after. Don’t think you see this kind of tweet if the Trojans end up losing.

This must be why Rogers wasn’t a five-star recruit out of high school.

Husky Stadium must have been booby-trapped by Kevin McAllister with the number of unfortunate trips and falls by the Trojans.

Play of the game right here. He prevented the Huskies from scoring off our turnover and bringing the deficit to within a field goal. So much momentum it broke Newton’s second law of motion.

You may remember Jack Jones as the backup who stated his goal this season was to win the Heisman. Lofty aspirations, but he has really come on in the second half of the season with his special teams and defensive play. Not enough to be the best player in the nation but I’m sure if he showed up to the ceremony in New York they’d let him sit in the audience.

4th Quarter

USC 24 — UW 13 — Daniel Imatorbhebhe 8 Yard pass from Sam Darnold

The way Imatorbhebhe is playing, he’s going to be giving sports writers headaches for decades trying to spell and pronounce his name. Might as well just save it to your Microsoft Word dictionary now.

I don’t know if Clay Helton meant to slowly unleash the tight end corps into the offensive game plan, but if it was, it has been what has defined this season. Without the tight end play during this winning streak, our offense would not be as potent as it is now. Especially with the injuries to our wide receivers and running backs. The Trojans finally have an offense as diverse as their student body. No longer are the days of dive, dive, play-action, punt.

You’d think Porter Gustin has his real estate license with the amount of property he owned in Washington’s backfield. The Huskies’ offensive line was doing their best mannequin challenge, as the defense was getting pressure on the quarterback almost every play.

When Clancy Pendergast came back to coach the defense this is the game you expected. Constant pressure, intricate blitzing schemes, and a bend-don’t-break mentality that contained the previously high scoring Husky offense.

Fool me twice, Shame on Browning.

Adoree’ baited Browning so well on this play you might see Jake being thrown around Pike Place Market this week.

USC 26 — UW 13 — Team Safety

The Turf Monsters claimed one of their own, as Browning tripped up in the end zone, leading to a safety and sealing the victory for the Trojans.

Now let us celebrate!

*Black Beatles begins playing in the background*

I was weirdly confident we were going to win the whole time. Was that because I was sailgating on a boat for four hours? Perhaps.

Side Note: Props to the Washington Husky fans. Absolutely wonderful tailgate experience and hospitality. If I saw a boat full of nearly blacked out fans of the opposing team dock right next to me, I’d throw them in Lake Washington.

Bad day to be a Husky fan…

Or a Clay Helton hater…

Or Lee Corso. Actually, never mind. It’s never a bad day to be Lee Corso.

But a great day and week to be a Trojan. The fan base hasn’t been this optimistic since USC upset the Ducks in 2011. The season after didn’t go exactly as planned but that team didn’t have Sam Darnold and Porter Gustin. This one does.

Quote of the year from Clay. Especially given the circumstances of the world being one gigantic dumpster fire at the moment.

Still a lot of season left. Still can win the Pac-12 championship. Still can make the Rose Bowl.

Wouldn’t it be great to play Harbaugh in Pasadena this January? It’s been awhile since we last saw him. Would love to catch up.

“What’s your deal?”

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