Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

Why Nice Guys Finish Last - And What You Can Do About It

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You hear this over and over again: Nice guys finish last. Women just don't want a nice guy; they want the jerk, the bad boy. So you think to yourself, “I've got to learn how to be a complete player. I've got to learn how to put women down. I’ve got to learn how to not call her, how to make her want me. I've got to play games. I've got to create attraction that way — that's what's going to work.”

Guess what happens when the nice guy starts to do that? He can't make that work either. Because it’s not authentic. He doesn't own his words, he doesn't come across as that type of person and a woman can read right through it and know that he's just playing a game.

So what does he do? He does the right thing. He treats women with lots of respect. Women always seem to say to him, “I just want to be friends.” Well, do nice guys finish last? It's partially true.

Women don't really want the nice guy. They always say they want a nice guy, but what they really want is a great guy. A guy with principles. A guy who really understands and respects himself. Nice guys respect themselves in a way, but they always agree. Whenever they're out on a date with a woman, they're always agreeing with everything she says. She may say, “I love to eat eggs while hiking up a mountain.” And while the nice guy knows doing something like that will give him indigestion, he'll say, “Sounds great! I love to hike mountains while eating eggs, too!” She may tell him, “I really want to take a skydiving holiday.” The nice guy might have acrophobia, and still he'll say, “Me, too!”



The Nice Guy Defined

While the nice guy is an agreeable person, he's got no control over his life. He allows women to come into his life, he agrees with them on everything, and hopes and prays that these women will like him for being so agreeable. It's so important for women to like him, so he's Mr. Agreeable.

Mr. Agreeable never gets the girl. He never gets the second date after the first because he's boring. What being so agreeable tells a woman is that you do not have enough self-respect to stand up to your own values. You don't think enough of yourself to own your identity, so you become accommodating, inoffensive and boring. You become the boring nice guy nobody wants to date. When you’re attracted to a woman, you do everything you can to please her. She's got a cold? You’ll bring her cold medicine. She tells you she's got a headache tonight? You drive her home. She tells you that she can't see you this weekend, you'll say, “Oh, that's OK. We'll get together whenever you're ready.” You don't have a plan. You're wishy-washy on everything you do. You're Mr. Whatever-You-Want-To-Do.

Why do nice guys finish last? Dating expert David Wygant continues to answer that next...