Florida Man Dials 911 And Demands A Ride Home ‘To Change His Underwear’

MARTIN COUNTY, Florida —

Gary Linman of Hobe Sound, Florida really needed a ride home. He dialed 911 from a payphone (they sill have those?) to get that ride.

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911 call transcript:

911: 911. What’s your emergency?

Linman: This 911?

911: Yes. How may I help you?

Linman: I got an emergencies. I need a ride home.

911: Have you been in an accident?

Linman: No.

911: Sir, you need to tell me what’s going on.

Linman: I need to change my underwear.

911: Sir. Prank calls are misusing the 911 system —

Linman: Suck an Ostrich egg, bitch!

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Linman hung up, but he wasn’t finished. Linman saw a deputy’s vehicle and approached the deputy sitting inside. Linman demanded a ride home, saying he dialed 911 and expected to be shuttled to his residence to “change my underwear.”

“I informed Linman the Sheriff’s Office is not a taxi service,” an affidavit states.

The deputy called Linman a taxi and told him to wait. Linman claimed he’d called fourteen different taxis already and didn’t want to wait.

The deputy left Linman… but again, Linman wasn’t finished.

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911 call transcript:

911: 911. What’s your emergency?

Linman: It’s Gary Linman again.

911: Sir. As I said before, it’s against the law to tie up emergency call services.

Linman: Your deputy refused to give me a ride home. He’s fired!

Linman hung up… but oh no, he’s still not finished.

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911 call transcript:

911: 911. What’s your emergency?

Linman: It’s Gary again.

911: Okay. Sir. We’re dispatching a deputy to your location.

Linman: I want to speak to whoever runs Moron County!

911: You mean Martin County?

Linman: I want to speak to the mayor of Moron County!

911 disconnects Linman. But he’s still not done.

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911 call transcript:

911: Mr. Linman–

Linman: I want a ride home now!

911: Sir.

Linman: Now! I was in the Marines!

911: Sir, a deputy will be there in a minute to take you home. Okay?

Linman: I can’t wait a minute!

911: The deputy is almost there, sir. Hold tight.

Linman: This is taking forever!

911 keeps him on the line until police arrive.

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Linman soon got a ride to jail on misuse of 911 charges.