A newer Rs 500 currency note is soon to hit the market. The Reserve Bank of India (RBI) on June 13, 2017, said it is launching a new batch of Rs 500 notes, with a more-or-less similar design. There will be just one tiny difference: the series will be printed with the inset letter “A” in both the number panels on the front side. The notes currently in circulation have the inset letter "E".

But is it all the same? What is need for a sudden new change in the design, no matter how slight? These are questions that can be answered by a simple fact. The note is more than just any other currency note. The note is an advanced piece of technology that will affect all the citizens of India.

Here are ten possible things that the new Rs 500 probably can do:

1) The note is a secret assassin that kills all other kind of cash in your wallet. The lack of cash will drive you to use digital payments and mobile wallets that will make Paytm bigger than Reliance and will usher India into the future.

2) The note’s micro-nano-retina-scanner can register foetuses inside the womb for Aadhaar, even from inside a purse or a wallet.

3) The new Rs 500 note has a special tracker that records all pro-Naxalite social media updates and deducts extra tax from your account to pay for CRPF weapons.

4) The new currency note comes with a small speaker that telecasts Narendra Modi’s Mann Ki Baat every time you have pro-AAP feelings.

Photo: DailyO

5) The note has special bacteria in it, genetically designed to turn people into vegetarians with prolonged contact. Immediate side-effect of the note is an overwhelming urge to destroy abattoirs that you suspect are selling beef.

6) Despite the fact that the new note has Mahatma Gandhi’s happy face printed on it, exposing it to black light reveals the deadpan visage of Veer Savarkar, our one true hero.

7) A special feature of the new Rs 500 note is the chip inside that releases a special pulse. The pulse deletes all anti-Hindutva material on your smartphone, including memes on Mohan Bhagwat.

8) The note comes with an inbuilt Reliance Jio 4G SIM card that can get you a direct line to the prime minister’s office.

9) The new note can be secretly used as cow fodder.

10) The new note, if kept at the right lunar angle on a full moon night, will produce a special hormone that makes peacocks cry, ensuring that your friendly neighbourhood peahens are always impregnated.

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