In the beginning there was a boy who was unable to get out of the womb. I was lazy cunt even when I stuck inside of my moms uterus it was 14 April 1991 and after god knows how many hours of labor they where unable to get me out. Fuckers got me with a pump. I looked like a fucking smurf with a pointy head and had to chill inside the incubator. Fast forward a couple of months my parents had a cat named muffin that roamed around around the house but these idiots left me alone on the bed. I dunno what happened maybe muffin was a jealous cat maybe I was dick and pulled his tail anyway it ended with my head being scratched and having this humongous scar on my face near my left eye