The standard athlete-busted-for-misdemeanor-weed-possession story is one that's rarely fun to study. The drug in question is less harmful than lots of legal substances, and the details hardly shift (cop pulls someone over, cop smells something, etc.) in each case. But every so often there's a magical detail—the accused athlete will try to eat his weed, for instance—that makes the story crackle with life.


With the dumb bust concerning Indians sometimes-closer Chris Perez, we now have such a detail, thanks to the Cleveland Plain Dealer:

Police said they searched the house after officials at the Rocky River post office said they discovered two packages that smelled like marijuana. After a police dog indicated there could be an illegal substance in them, law enforcement got a search warrant. [...] According to the report, at around 12:30 p.m. Tuesday an undercover officer dressed as a postal carrier delivered the packages, addressed to Brody Baum at the Parklane address. Brody is the name of the Perez dog. Baum is Melanie Perez's maiden name. The undercover officer asked Melanie Perez if the packages were meant for that address and was told that they were for the dog, the report said.


We had so many questions. Dogs get packages? Dogs have maiden names? Police dogs are allowed to dime on civilian dogs—there's no higher dog brotherhood that prevents such a betrayal? But Brody was unavailable for comment.

Cleveland Indians closer Chris Perez, wife charged with misdemeanor drug abuse [Cleveland Plain Dealer]