This comedy show has one of the most scenic stages on earth: Muni's historic F train

The F Bomb Comedy Train, hosted by Marty Cunnie and Zane Barrett, is a comedy show in motion. Taking place on a historic streetcar, passengers listen to live stand-up while the city moves by in a blur behind the performers. less The F Bomb Comedy Train, hosted by Marty Cunnie and Zane Barrett, is a comedy show in motion. Taking place on a historic streetcar, passengers listen to live stand-up while the city moves by in a blur behind ... more Photo: PJ Crame Https://pjc.photoshelter.com/ Photo: PJ Crame Https://pjc.photoshelter.com/ Image 1 of / 28 Caption Close This comedy show has one of the most scenic stages on earth: Muni's historic F train 1 / 28 Back to Gallery

Frankie Marcos saunters up to a makeshift stage and grabs the mic. “I’m from San Jose. Nobody gives a s—,” the East Bay comedian tells his audience by way of introduction. The proclamation is met with knowing grins and light laughs. The jokes that follow are decidedly Bay Area: his inability to afford a house, the difficulties of the dating scene, his former gig driving for Uber.

Marcos is just beginning to discuss the intricacies of language and his Mexican-Filipino identity when a strangely authoritative, yet all-too-familiar voice drowns him out.

“Please give seats to seniors and people with disabilities,” it robotically instructs.

Marcos thinks on his feet, playing to the reactions of the already-laughing crowd. “Who’s heckling me right now?” he yells. Now they’re in hysterics. The same directions are repeated in Spanish. “Oh, and then you get racist?” he crows. “El comediante talking right now SUCKS.”

The interruption of the live stand-up act is certainly out-of-the-ordinary, but so is the performance space. With a sold-out crowd packed into two rows of wooden seats on a historic Mint Milano streetcar, the F Bomb Comedy Train lurches into motion.

In lieu of a plush red curtain familiar to comedy veterans, the city itself serves as a scenic backdrop to the Saturday afternoon performance. Neighborhoods pass by in a blur, complementing the shifting lineup of stand-up comedians as the streetcar begins to make its way down Market Street on the historic Muni F line.

“It’s like doing comedy in an earthquake,” Marty Cunnie, co-organizer of the quarterly event, tells me over the phone. When I meet him in person for the first time, he makes me think of what it would be like if Santa Claus hosted a frat party bus outing, passing out free cans of White Claw and fun-sized bags of Cheetos and Lay's. His cherry-red Hawaiian shirt is unbuttoned just so, revealing a tuft of chest hair and a gold chain. He keeps his sunglasses on the entire time.

There are two rules on the comedy train, he informs us. One: drinks are stashed in the front. Two: no JUULing. Outside food, however, is allowed. At the show I attended, one dedicated man picked up a bread bowl filled with clam chowder soup at Fisherman’s Wharf and proceeded to consume the entire thing on the way back.

“I couldn’t think of a way to make it more SF than if we had it on Alcatraz,” Cunnie said.

The car rumbles down the track, starting and halting (seemingly) at random — not to mention at stops where confused tourists wonder why they can’t hop aboard. It’s a shame, considering they’re the perfect audience for a show that provides a tour guide’s perspective of San Francisco while simultaneously cracking jokes about the city.

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The comedy train started running nearly two years ago, when Cunnie was looking for a way to break into the scene and produce his own shows. He knew he wanted to do something different, and garnered inspiration from an unusual promotional event hosted by a friend at Seven Stills Brewery & Distillery.

It was a whiskey train. Passengers would climb aboard, drink to their heart’s content and take in the sights and sound of San Francisco while riding through the city. A fiddler completed the bizarre, albeit entertaining journey.

“I asked my friend how he did it, like, ‘Whose string did you have to pull?’” said Cunnie.

Turns out, it wasn’t difficult.

The U.S. government designated the cable cars as National Historic Landmarks in 1964, a couple of decades before Muni began renovating its tracks and retiring older streetcars, explained Rick Laubscher, president of the Market Street Railway.

Now, a rental service exists to preserve a piece of San Francisco transit history. Although Laubscher said charter service has dwindled in recent years, the program remains open to the public, and people can reserve a vintage car of their choice upon request.

When Cunnie proposed his own idea for a comedy show on Muni, he said the transit agency was “surprisingly cool with it.” Passengers could bring their own drinks, and a large speaker was allowed onboard, so long as Cunnie and co-host Zane Barrett didn’t charge for tickets online, which would have been a liability issue.

Instead, they decided to turn the event into a recurring fundraiser. A $30 suggested donation goes toward Mutiny Radio, a small non-profit Internet radio station in the Mission where Cunnie said several up-and-coming local comedians got their start.

Word of mouth spread, and a little promotion on Facebook and Instagram did the rest. The first event sold out, and subsequent shows have been equally as successful.

“There’s something familiar to it: maybe people know the train from their daily commute. But with each show comes something different, something new,” Cunnie said.

Photo: PJ Crame Https://pjc.photoshelter.com/ The F Bomb Comedy Train, hosted by Marty Cunnie and Zane Barrett,...

Once, Bay Area comedian Andrew Orolfo challenged tourists in the double decker bus behind the train to a duel. He yelled and pointed at them through the glass, much to the bewilderment of the poor tourists. On a separate commute, a performer read three minutes of haikus about different Muni lines.

(I asked Cunnie if I could share them here, and I was informed they were not safe for print. Sorry, all.)

Halfway through the ride, passengers are let off at Pier 39 to stretch their legs, use the restroom and grab a quick bite to eat before they head back to the Castro. Once, Cunnie said, a comedian was almost left behind.

“Hijinks ensue,” he explained.

:::

After Marcos finishes his set, Natasha Muse takes over. She’s a regular on the lineup at NightLife on Mars at Murphy’s Pub, and mocks movies on a monthly basis as part of the Alamo Drafthouse’s comedy-film hybrid series, “Riffer’s Delight.”

This particular Saturday marks the first time she’s performed on a train – a moving one, that is. She has, however, performed in a hollowed-out schoolbus. “Something about performing in the city is that people find random places to dig out,” she tells me prior to the show. “They could last a year, a month, two years. You never know.”

There’s no green room for the comics to hang out in before the show, so we huddle in the back of the streetcar to talk. Passengers file in as hip-hop music thumps in the background. Wearing a pinstriped railroad conductor cap, Barrett doles out generous pours of red wine into clear plastic cups.

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There are many variables for comics to consider when performing on a noisy, moving streetcar – careful footwork, vocal delivery and timing, unexpected distractions, not to mention an audience seated just inches away. Muse admits she’s a little nervous, but it’s part of the trade.

“Doing stand-up and taking improv classes, you always have to say ‘Yes, and…’ It’s a good way to roll through things like this. You just have to go with the flow,” she said.

Emily Van Dyke takes the stage on the trip back. “Is everyone drunk yet?” she asks enthusiastically. Then she notices the guy with the bread bowl and decides to rib him. “Are you married?” she asks. “Someone needs to marry this guy."

After Van Dyke wraps her set, Paul Conyers closes out the show. First, he announces that he regrets not peeing earlier, then shares that he just overheard a passenger say the trip was one of the most San Francisco things he’s ever done. Admittedly, the line sounds planted...

“…And I wanna make sure this is the most San Francisco thing you guys have ever done,” Conyers finishes, before abruptly breaking into his best impression of a BART busker. He’s certainly no Best Alive dancer, but the throng of tipsy 20 and 30-somethings cheer him on anyway.

The green-tinged streetcar gradually approaches the Castro station where we began, and as everyone files out, I notice it’s the first time I’ve seen people exit public transit without a collective sense of relief.

Mind you, just like everyone else, I’d rather hide my nose in a book during a commute instead of talk to the people around me. Yet, the energetic atmosphere is refreshing in comparison to my typical bleary-eyed commutes.

I take the L back downtown to my apartment. I may arrive at my destination quicker, but getting there isn’t nearly as fun.

Amanda Bartlett is an SFGATE associate digital reporter. Email: amanda.bartlett@sfchronicle.com | Twitter: @byabartlett