151 views

The moment just after midnight on the 7th of May when Labour's campaign manager - Adolf Hitler - receives the exit poll

Hitler Reacts to the General Election Exit Poll

00:00 - 00:03 The polls are too close to call

00:04 - 00:05 To win this election...

00:05 - 00:07 ...we must make gains in Tory marginals

00:08 - 00:12 If we do not win the election...

00:12 - 00:15 ...the Labour Party will never regain power at Westminster.

00:17 - 00:19 This should be piss easy

00:19 - 00:21 Cameron has no fucking hope

00:24 - 00:26 My Führer

00:27 - 00:28 The exit poll...

00:31 - 00:33 ...The exit poll has just come through

00:34 - 00:36 We're forecast a net loss of nineteen seats

00:53 - 00:58 Those who voted for David Milliband, please leave.

01:13 - 01:14 This is a fucking disaster

01:15 - 01:17 How the fuck have we lost this fucking one?

01:18 - 01:23 David Cameron and the Tories have spent five years buttfucking the country

01:25 - 01:28 We made every promise under the fucking sun

01:29 - 01:31 We even carved Ed that bloody slab

01:31 - 01:34 so he could make the 'set in stone' pun

01:34 - 01:37 Some nutjob thought that standing him infront of a stone might make him look less weird.

01:37 - 01:40 Why the fuck did you even think he was electable?

01:40 - 01:42 My Führer the public's main concern was the economy

01:42 - 01:46 But we promised to fix the economy AND reduce austerity

01:46 - 01:48 My Führer the public seem to be more intelligent than last time

01:48 - 01:52 More intelligent? I knew Education Education Education was a bad idea.

01:53 - 01:54 Ed fucking Milliband

01:56 - 01:57 He doesn't have a fucking clue

01:57 - 02:00 Who's going to vote for a guy who can't even eat a bacon sandwich?

02:00 - 02:03 Or does an interview with Russell Brand?

02:04 - 02:08 Cameron fucking loves it

02:08 - 02:13 We've just handed him five more years power on a silver fucking plate

02:14 - 02:16 All because you chose the wrong Millibrand brother

02:17 - 02:21 - the one man who, beside me, is less electable than Stalin.

02:27 - 02:29 I knew how to do socialism

02:30 - 02:34 But everyone knows that actual, left-wing socialism

02:34 - 02:36 doesn't win elections.

02:41 - 02:42 For twenty years

02:43 - 02:47 For almost twenty years we've been trying to make Labour more Tory

02:48 - 02:53 And then you all vote for Red Ed

02:54 - 02:56 New Labour was winning elections

02:56 - 02:59 But Ed Milliband decided to revert to Old Labour

03:00 - 03:02 Well that fucking worked!

03:04 - 03:07 It's OK Mary - I liked The Edstone

03:14 - 03:16 Still in opposition

03:19 - 03:23 At least we weren't totally obliterated

03:25 - 03:26 Like the Lib Dems

03:31 - 03:33 Poor Clegg

03:40 - 03:46 I don't think I will live to see another Labour majority

03:46 - 03:49 To be honest that's probably a good thing