Some of the best, and worst, pranks and jokes on the web on April Fools’ Day

This article is more than 1 year old

This article is more than 1 year old

In an era when you can wake up to the headline “Mussolini’s granddaughter slams Jim Carrey over political cartoons” and it not be a prank, you might think the traditional April fools’ joke online has had its day. But you’d be wrong. Here are some of the best, and worst, of 2019’s efforts.

Newspapers

The Daily Express reported that Britain may face a permanent exit from the Eurovision song contest, due to a ruling by L’Institute de Eurovision Song. A spokesperson is quoted as saying “It is unfortunate for British music fans, but we have a duty to protect the performers and music fans from other member states.”

The Telegraph suggested that parliament was reviving an Oliver Cromwell-era statute to prohibit April Fool jokes, for fear they would spark panic-buying. The paper wrote: “The statute from 1653 states that the issuing of false reports is strictly prohibited and punishable by the splitting of an offender’s ribs.” A statute that would possibly be useful all year round.

The Brexit jokes crossed international boundaries, too, with Malta Today reporting there were moves to revoke the George Cross medal awarded to Malta by King George VI in 1942.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest The Sun’s 50p poo piece. Photograph: oanslow1/The Sun

The Sun, meanwhile, claimed there would be a Royal Mint collection of coin designs based on emojis, including a poo emoji 50p, while the Daily Star reckons we’ll now be able to get beer on the NHS. Apparently “Guinness is good for you” after all.

The Times reports that dog owners can now get drones to do walkies for them. The devices would also be able to pick up and bin any dog mess. There had, apparently, been some mishaps with the prototypes, and reports that an excited Yorkshire Terrier was seen hovering over Gatwick before Christmas were left unconfirmed.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Daily Mail’s April Fool cat flap. Photograph: DAILY MAIL

The Daily Mail had news that Larry the Downing Street cat was getting its own catflap in the famous door to No 10.

British Transport police

The British Transport police have stepped up and announced new £2,000 fines for eating smelly snacks on the go.

British Transport Police (@BTP) Fed up of having to endure stinky sandwiches and smelly snacks on trains?



As part of new anti-social behaviour legislation, those caught eating offensive food items while in transit could face a penalty fare of up to £2,000.



Check before you travel 👉 https://t.co/kePXd0M6Yz pic.twitter.com/Or9LRThRsw

It would be difficult to have a smelly snack on this new transport initiative though – a 100mph zipwire across the Severn Bridge linking Wales to England, announced on Monday and scheduled to open on 1 April 2020.

Another new feature planned for Wales is a giant Hollywood-style sign for the hills of Cwmbran. And Holyhead is getting a rival one too.

Hello Fresh

Food delivery service Hello Fresh say they have launched a unicorn box option, with enough glitter, frosting and sugar to please even the most demanding toddler.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest April Fools’ unicorn box from Hello Fresh. Photograph: Hello Fresh

Lego & McDonalds

It is funny how there are some proposed April fool products that instantly make you scream: “Yes, I want that!”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Lego’s “Find my brick” April Fool joke Photograph: Lego

And some that have entirely the opposite effect:

We’re just not even sure where to begin with Colman’s Mustard Custard, which they claim tastes “equally delicious with roast beef and parsnips as it does with an apple crumble or a sticky toffee pudding”

Google

Pick of the tech jokes this year is Google Tulip. With an extremely detailed technical spec and glossy promotional video, this development allows you to talk to your tulips, and discover just what it is they are thinking about. Spoiler alert: sunshine, soil and water.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Google Tulip promotional video

Google has also introduced a temporary playable version of Nokia-phone classic game Snake within Google Maps.

Tinder

Tinder, meanwhile, claims to have finally solved the problem of men lying about their height on the dating app, with a new height verification feature they promise is coming soon. Men are instructed to post a picture of themselves in front of any commercial building. From this, Tinder promises to calculate your true height and give you a verification badge on your profile.

The world of sport

Exciting news for fans of Brighton & Hove Albion, who are set to renames themselves Brighton, Hove and Lancing Wanderers following their newly announced move to a new 80,000 all-seater stadium in Lancing. Their present ground will be turned into a vegan market and drop-in centre.

Elsewhere, former Premier League manager Ian Holloway has apparently been appointed as the new kicking coach for rugby union’s Worcester.

Oxford University

If you are worried about AI taking over the world, maybe you can relax a little after seeing Oxford University’s research into getting a computer to play snap, a project that appears to have given a machine all of the game-playing prowess of a small child.

Oxford University (@UniofOxford) After Deep Blue beat @Kasparov63, and @DeepMindAI's AlphaGo defeated Lee Sedol, there was only one game left standing in the way of AI... until now. pic.twitter.com/FQP0fjZ3LT

Capcom

There is good April fools news for zombies though. Capcom, responsible for a series of games in the zombie-shooting genre, are looking to hire some replacement zombies. If you apply, you get to find out which zombie you have been allocated.

No sex please, we’re the BBC

The BBC’s iPlayer is getting a valuable update – a “skip the sex” button for those awkward moments when you are watching a programme with your parents or your children and it is about to get steamy.

BBC iPlayer (@BBCiPlayer) Introducing @BBCiPlayer’s #SkipTheSex button.



For those mortifying moments when a surprise 🍆 or 🍑 makes you 😳… pic.twitter.com/eM9rQ6LNFi

Doctor Who fans, meanwhile, could be forgiven for treating with some scepticism the announcement that David Tennant and Billie Piper were returning to the BBC as the Doctor and Rose in a new spin-off entitled Meta-Crisis.

Animals

Marsupials enjoy April Fools’ Day just as much as the rest of us, and this year there is the revelation that koalas can be made even cuter.

Australia (@Australia) It’s a little-known fact that some #koala joeys are born with leopard print fur 🐨



We don’t yet know why only certain joeys are blessed with such incredible fashion sense, but we’re sure little April here is the envy of her friends. #seeaustralia #wildlife #australia pic.twitter.com/FJUDwdRk9E

Which? magazine also had an important announcement – they are back in the business of reviewing and ranking pets.

And Cambridgeshire police are introducing the drug sniffer bunny.

Special Constabulary (@CambsCopsSC) After 6 weeks training meet the forces new drugs sniffer rabbit Benni be sure to say hello if you see us on patrol#SSThomas pic.twitter.com/eiHv95y9Ul

The Guardian

Proposal for 'healing tsar' to reunite Britain after Brexit Read more

As for the Guardian, in among our Brexit coverage on Monday you may have spotted the unsurprising news that it is going to take a huge effort to pull the country back together after the divisive nature of the referendum and its aftermath. You may have found the names mentioned to spearhead this effort slightly more puzzling, though.

And if you need any inspiration for yourself for next year, remember, you can’t go wrong with googly-eyes…

Rosewind (@Rosewind2007) I have a fondness for #AprilFools and two smallish children.

So this year I got up even earlier than usual and stuck googly eyes to...

EVERYTHING!!! pic.twitter.com/aWs7qrArjv

And this is just beautiful. Although not the kind of thing you will find in Britain’s first government approved Jedi faith school.