Mon, 2007-03-12 16:24

For a couple long hours, the folks on freenode.net's #photogeeks IRC channel dropped lines about Ken Rockwell, the photographer/blogger we love to hate.

We created these morsels along the same vein as the infamous Chuck Norris Facts, I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Ken Rockwell Facts

Contributed by liem, Epic|, Fufie, michel_v, neom, Wintre, Bas|k, lament, mattsteg__ and pal.

Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography

Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]

Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.

Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.

Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.

Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.

Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.

Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth

Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.

Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.

When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories

Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker

Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born

Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once

Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.

Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius

Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.

Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you

Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure

Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.

When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.

Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes

On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine

Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"

When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos

For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.

Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.

Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF

Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.

The term tripod was coined after his silhouette

Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer

A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell

Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.

Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues

Addendum: March 21, 2007, confirmation that Ken Rockwell has finally discovered this posting.

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