As charity’s chief moves to reassure staff, some fear for its reputation while others feel a sense of inevitability

The meeting room at Oxfam’s headquarters outside Oxford was packed with anxious aid workers and fundraisers at 2pm on Friday when the chief executive, Mark Goldring, stood up to address the prostitution scandal that has rocked the charity.

Hours earlier, staff had woken to news that in the aftermath of the Haiti earthquake a senior colleague had paid women for sex and that Oxfam had known as much when it dismissed him and allowed him to go on to work for other aid agencies. The backlash was intense, and suddenly Oxfam’s future – and that of its £34m UK government funding – seemed in doubt.

Long-serving staff who gathered to hear Goldring, and others around the world who joined via a Facebook feed, were reeling.

People are trying to reconcile what they know about Oxfam today with a story from seven years ago Oxfam staffer

“There wasn’t any warning for ordinary staff members,” said one. “On Friday in the office everyone was really shocked. It was awful.”

But deep disgust at what they were hearing was tinged with a sense of inevitability for some. “We’ve all worked with people who’ve worked in Ethiopia, DRC, Haiti, Malawi, Thailand etc who’ve seen similar things across the entire sector,” said one Oxfam worker in the Middle East.

Goldring, admired by staff as “deeply thoughtful”, set out the story – first a chronology of what happened in Haiti in 2011, and then a commentary on the issues it raised, including pointing out the dilemmas that the Oxfam staff handling the case faced. For example, he said, the charity didn’t report it to the Haitian police because it was concerned that could rebound adversely on the women involved.

He struck one attendee as “desperately keen to put across the point that we don’t think there was a cover-up because we didn’t hide that there was a problem in Haiti”. Only Oxfam hadn’t been open about what that problem was.

Some staff also felt there was a “single-mindedness about the attack on Oxfam” that was not commensurate with the weight of what had happened in 2011. It was shocking and wrong, but some felt that the problems revealed were probably not unique to Oxfam.

“I’m really frustrated at the Oxfam-only lens in this – granted what happened was horrific,” said one Oxfam worker abroad. “I’ve worked for [several other NGOs] and there just isn’t any type of policy or procedure in place for any of this stuff.”

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Goldring told his staff he had established a senior team to handle the scandal and said: “Everybody else, please try to do your job. I know it’s distressing and difficult but the world doesn’t stop and we have crises to deal with”.

But on Saturday and Sunday, as the news got worse and the government’s response more severe, the extent of the threat to Oxfam became clear.

“We are fearful of what’s next,” said one staffer.

When Haiti’s ambassador to London voiced his country’s “outcry over those serious crimes that were not reported to relevant authorities”, Oxfam scrambled to contact the Haitian embassy in Bloomsbury and arranged to meet diplomats this week.

Emails defending the organisation flooded in. One read: “This is shameful and completely unacceptable behaviour by a handful of staff and is not representative of the majority who are committed to and demonstrate our strong Oxfam values.”

“I really care about Oxfam’s reputation,” said one staff member. “Being trusted by the British public is so important and if we are not we won’t be able to raise as much money and do all the good things we need to do around the world. People are saddened and it seems to be becoming a bigger story every day.”

Sunday’s papers brought claims that Oxfam staff used prostitutes in Chad and data from Oxfam’s own annual report resurfaced showing it dealt with 87 allegations of sexual abuse by staff in 2016-17.

Some were pleased that the aid sector was getting its own #MeToo moment – a long-awaited reckoning similar to those seen in politics and entertainment.

“It’s about time we saw a higher rate of reports, investigations and independent accountability mechanisms present in the sector,” one said. “It’s about time we break the stigma and the silence, and allow victims to report incidents.”

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When the international development secretary, Penny Mordaunt, told the BBC’s Andrew Marr Show on Sunday that Oxfam’s behaviour was a “complete betrayal” it was clear the charity’s relationship with the government was at risk.

Senior figures set aside weekend plans in a scramble to prepare for what looks set to be a make-or-break meeting with the government on Monday. Caroline Thompson, the chair of Oxfam’s trustees, drafted a statement restating that the behaviour in Haiti was “completely outside our values and should never be tolerated”. It set out in detail steps they plan to take to strengthen the prevention and handling of sexual abuse cases.

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“Last year we got £34m from the UK government and the previous year it was £50m,” said one senior figure. “We are in a challenging funding context with the UK government and then you throw this into the mix and it does create concern.”

There is also a fear the furore could be exploited politically by Oxfam’s enemies. Last month Oxfam released a report claiming the “richest 1% bagged 82% of wealth created last year while the poorest half of humanity got nothing”. This prompted Rob Wilson, the former charities minister, to describe Oxfam as “a front group for extreme leftwing Corbynistas”.

The grave mistake over Haiti has put the charity, founded in 1942, in a perilous situation.

“People are trying to reconcile what they know about Oxfam today with a story from seven years ago,” said one staff member. “The vast majority of people at Oxfam are very dedicated and get on with their work and would be the first to raise questions about behaviour like this.

“So, it is hard to wake up one morning and see this is how their organisation is being painted, when they know the vast majority of people aren’t like that.”