Half-Life 2 MOD PREVIEW TWO: Jay Schilling Edition



Fussbett, conflictNo, The Cable Brothers, INC and Erik 08/01/2004 Our first Half-Life 2 Mod Preview set the mod world on fire. We were able to conclusively prove that video game fans not only have terrible game ideas but in fact are actively trying to set human entertaiment BACK several decades. Some people got angry. Mod makers told us that the mods we featured were now defunct. I can only apologize for our lag time and explain that it's very difficult to publish these Mod Preview articles before the mods disband. It's a race against time, time being the mod conceptualist getting a summer job. Jay Schilling from the hit mod "Edge of Chaos" became an instant cult hero and inspired PART TWO of the Half-Life 2 mod preview, this article you're reading now, where we exclusively look at mods that have already named YOU, the mod protagonist. Again INC has been conscripted to provide an artist's conception of each mod, as none of these ideas will ever produce a single screenshot anyway. Click the image to see the 600x600 version, and feel free to make Gabe's mod enthusiasm your desktop wallpaper. The year is 2004. GO! BLAST RADIUS Blast Radius is a Half-Life 2 modification set in the year 2170. In Blast Radius you play as NDAA agent Nick Farnham. NDAA stands for Nuclear Disaster Aversion Agency. Nick has been with the agency for 12 years now, and is a respected and, most of all, very well paid agent. His primary mission is to seek out and disarm or destroy nuclear weapons using any means necessary. At the beginning of Blast Radius, Nick has been called to an abandoned warehouse in the Nevada Desert where a dangerous terrorist organisation known only as DBP are suspected of housing several nuclear bombs. There are rumours among the agents of DBP having massive amounts of nuclear weapons stored in a secret base somewhere, and Nick's superiors have decided that this is the best place to start. You take charge as Nick is arriving at the warehouse. From there, it's up to you whether Nick saves the world or dies in the attempt.



Jhoh Cable: Hahahahahahaha this second mod preview will be the best article ever written.

Jhoh Cable: It'll be the most important thing in history. Caltrops and its writers (US!!!!!!) are taking writing to a level never previously conceived of.

Fussbett: You finished reading it already?

Jhoh Cable: No. I'm like 1 mod in. I didn't even start the second mod yet.

Jhoh Cable: Just looking at Gabe holding a tricorder with a radioactive hot dog. conflictNo: I like the boldly named "Nuclear Disaster AVERSION Agency". They'd really like to avoid a nuclear disaster if they can. They absolutely hate them. Erik: That gives them an edge in the fight against Nuclear Disasters - it's personal. Fussbett: The forerunning Nuclear Disaster Affinity Agency was a complete failure. Erik: Wait. I guess he's also in it for the money, according to this. conflictNo: Most of all, he can throw money at the problem. Fussbett: I think his bank account might come into play later. Or thats just a red herring. Jsoh Cable: So no enemies, no boss monsters, and the only vehicles are like a limo which you ride in, from one empty map to another. Fussbett: YOU PLAY AS HANS BLIX, MONEY TO BURN Jsoh Cable: You spend a lot of time in Iraq, doing almost nothing, wandering around empty bunkers. Erik: What scares me is that the secret base is so stuffed full of nuclear bombs that they had to store some in an annex Fussbett: Fuck, it's 2170, so anything can happen. Nuclear bombs maybe aren't a big deal by then. Erik: Yeah, kind of like if some terrorists had a warehouse full of swords today. I mean, so what? Jhoh Cable: I would've called this mod BLAST CORPSE, like the N64 game, but with a much more awesome name. Jhoh Cable: And the main character would be named Dick Blast. Jhoh Cable: Or Cock McFuckyourcunt. AWEDAYS Xendor... the heart of the ancient civilization Xen, now opposing mankind out of despair. Nobody knows preciselly where Xendor layes now, an alien Atlantis, spring of half the known intelligent worlds.... But Eno knows. He landed earth two decades ago, and he was Gordon's shaddow and help. G-man berely knows about the existence of a Xendor defector among us. Despite his relations, G-man isn't but just a small piece in a huge mechanism. The link. The first episode - the Black Mesa incident, was G-man's black project; the whole mess, the killings, questionable ethics Gordon had to deal with (those funny headcrabs and slaves) was a screenplay wearing G-man's signature. Why? Why was it so big, the effort? Was it just a training mission for Gordon or just a trap for Xendor agents? Was it something else, even more difficult to comprehend? What G-man knows? And why is it so important for him to push Gordon ahead, draw his path? Towards...where?

Erik: I hope they implement the piloting earth thing they're talking about. Fussbett: Yeah, it's probably not easy to land a planet. Erik: I'm glad that they picked up on the most compelling part of Half-Life - the questionable ethics. Erik: Though the killings were good too. Fussbett: Nobody knows... Eno knows. conflictNo: Eno of Gondor. Or Xendor. Fussbett: They oppose out of despair. :( That's just depressing. conflictNo: "Why? Why was it so big, the effort? Was it just a training mission for Gordon or just a trap for Xendor agents? Was it something else, even more difficult to comprehend? What G-man knows? And why is it so important for him to push Gordon ahead, draw his path? Towards...where?" CALM DOWN! Fussbett: I don't know why he's coming to us with all these questions. conflictNo: Yeah, I don't know what's going on in his stupid head. Fussbett: He created the beginning of a story and blew his own mind. conflictNo: Replace G-Man with his step-dad, maybe? Fussbett: The link. conflictNo: "Why won't G-Man love Gordon? When...to happen?" Erik: Except for flying earth around I don't get much of a sense of how this mod will play. Fussbett: G-man isn't but just a small piece in a huge mechanism. What's so hard to understand about that? This mod is gonna rock. Erik: I dunno. I have questions. Not as many as the guy who wrote the description, though. Jsoh Cable: Great, we cant even find Atlantis. Now they want us looking for ancient Xen eateries. ATOMIK Atomik is a first-person/third-person character-driven modification made for Halflife 2. During the rich single player game, the player takes control of Atomik and must learn about his past, as well as his future. The characters will be cellshaded but the levels will be incredibly realistic, causing a comic book style look and feel to the game. Current development has already begun, and hopes to put at least a demo out by around April of next year.

conflictNo: The current development has begun. Future development: postponed. Future development includes the parts where the mod is actually made. Fussbett: Past development included writing that paragraph and maybe the background story for a mod for Doom 3. Then a nap. Jhoh Cable: I bet Valve will steal the "learning about his future" for Gordon Freeman in Half-Life 2. Fussbett: The very first decision to make: Will this be a first person or third person mod? Why decide when you can have both? Erik: Or between cell-shading and realism. Or between past and future Fussbett: Sure. Deciding things is over-rated. Erik: That's what makes it so rich Fussbett: These mod makers have the time, expertise and resources to cover ALL the bases. Erik: "causing a comic book style look and feel to the game" - kinda sounds like the comic book style look and feel was a lucky accident. Fussbett: Yes, one step away from "Unwelcomed comic book side effect". Erik: Mix up a bunch of visual styles, viewpoints, the past and the future and - bang - comic book style. Fussbett: This mod description is a stinging indictment of the comic book industry. Erik: They could probably publish this as a paper in some journal. BLOODSHED You are Adam Davis, a Boston, Mass. Police Sergeant and his search for an infamous killer and drug dealer, Matthew Straid, who was released from jail on parole. He was in jail for tax fraud and no actual evidence of him pushing drugs or homicidal actions. Now, Davis and his partner Alex Diere must find and expose the actions of the Straid and his minions. This game combines the action of a movie and the in-depth storyline of a novel. The mod is called Bloodshed because of the enormous amount of people you have to dispose of the get Straid into jail.

conflictNo: I hate all of these names. Fussbett: Killing countless people to arrest the homicidal Straid. You are Adam Davis AND his search... You embody "the search", which has manifested itself in the flesh. conflictNo: I have a feeling the Alex (Alyx?) Diere model is all that is finished. Fussbett: Or a model of a gun perhaps. conflictNo: Probably some anime-style sketches. Fussbett: At least I can get my movie AND my book fix in one mod. Jhoh Cable: This guy accidentally turned his easily rejected Hollywood screenplay into a Half-Life 2 mod. Fussbett: http://www.redfox-studios.com/bloodshed -- Ah, I guess they stopped working on this mod. Or perhaps the madness of making Straid consumed them? conflictNo: You mean Matt and Adam, best friends? Fussbett: Matt probably killed Adam because Adam wouldn't allow Alex to appear in a cutscene, getting raped by the villain. conflictNo: I think that's probably the most accurate thing you've ever said. Fussbett: Thanks! conflictNo: Can I play the IRS agent who originally put Straid away? I'll do that instead of living out this homoerotic fantasy. CAMA KILLER In Cama killer the player takes on the roll of Dave Travis, a convicted felon whos spending his last days in prison. During his time in jail, Travis has learned several valuable lessons in the art of crime and has made careful plans for his future. His biggest ambition is to set up his own crew and commit several robberies without being caught. It is your objective to assemble a team of professionals and carefully plan and conduct a series of heists and robberies. Be prepared for the unexpected. 11 new highly detailed weapon models

New character models

Additional single player missions (worth 6 hours of extra gameplay)

4 new multiplayer scenarios

10 new multiplayer map

Realistic and fun gameplay

Complex storyline

More features to be added soon

Fussbett: Biggest ambition is to commit several robberies. PURSE SNATCHING NICKEL BAG MOTHERFUCKER. conflictNo: Cama Chameleon? Jhoh Cable: Oops someone made this mod already as about 5 different games over the past 10 years. Jsoh Cable: I'm glad they already got the length of their mod before even coming up with anymore ideas or perhaps making a single map. Fussbett: 6 hours of extra gameplay. I wonder how you time this in the daydreaming stage of the development process? Would I need to install Linux to do something like this? Jhoh Cable: If it's realistic but only 6 hours, then it would have to be fun right? It wouldn't have enough time to start sucking? Right? CHRONICLES OF FIRE For centuries humanity has spread across the vast frontier of our galaxy, colonizing worlds and building empires. But where men go, so goes their anger, hatred, and distrust. The year is 3073, and the Iconian Empire and the United Suns of Phoenicia are at the brink of war. Enter Paran Tadec, you are Paran Tadec, a young man who sets out for the Phoenician Army, wanting to forget his homelife, but without warning, tragedy strikes. The Iconians invade the Antares system, your home world Antares IV is now under enemy control. The Phoenician government is in exhile. Once the proud liberator of Antares you now find yourself deep within enemy territory and well outnumbered. Armed only with what you can carry you set out to unravel the mystery surrounding your past and the treasonous acts bringing death and destruction to your nation. You are an elite soldier, an Apostle of the Phoenix. Apostles, sponsored by the believed-dead House Arakyd, are tasked with restoring freedom and law to the Phoenician people by bringing an end to Iconian occupation. Remember, the lives of many are in your hands.

INC: Oh, wait, I guess it isn't.

INC: Put an "almost" in there somewhere in that last sentence.

INC: Or just paste this log, I guess. :( The year is 3073, and you are Paran Tadec, a young man who's life seems to be going nowhere. Everyone you know is pulling you in different directions. Unhappy with the way things are, you seek adventure and excitement. Against your mother's wishes, you join the Phoenician Army. Her reluctance is valid however, she lost another man to war. The man you never knew was your father, taken from you while you were still in the womb. Now inadvertantly catapulted into a devastating conflict, you face the onslaught of a determined empire. What began as fun is now life or death. Is it your anger and resentment that this came to be, or something greater? Why would you make such sacrifices if you did'nt believe in fate and destiny? You are sure of one thing, however, that the Phoenix will lead you there. conflictNo: "Enter Paran Tadec, you are Paran Tadec" WAIT SLOW DOWN Jhoh Cable: I already know I'm Paran Tadec pal, psh tell me something I DON'T know Half-Life 2 mod! Fussbett: WHAT YEAR IS IT?! Jhoh Cable: Wow Fussbett, this is a piece of shit! Fussbett: I don't think it's time to unravel mysteries when you're outnumbered behind enemy lines. conflictNo: As usual this mod guy gets down to just asking a lot of questions. He already knows that the Phoenix is the answer. Fussbett: "...a young man who's life seems to be going nowhere" -- is something revealed here through the author's writing? Answer: yes. conflictNo: This is the mod he made to win his girlfriend back. conflictNo: "Baby, I made you something DON'T CLOSE THE DOOR" Fussbett: "Is it your anger and resentment that this came to be, or something greater?" ...YES. WAIT! No. Fussbett: This story confused the author so much that even his questions stopped making sense. conflictNo: His mom is mad at him for joining the Coast Guard, that's for sure. Jhoh Cable: So are they going to code in anger, hatred, and distrust? Fussbett: YOU THINK THEY CAN'T?! Jhoh Cable: Personally I wish the United Suns of Phoenicia would GET OUT OF THE WAR. >:( Fussbett: Oh no! From the moddb.com page: "I just want to say that due to a lack of interest, this mod won't be coming out anytime soon. Hopefully one day when everyone decides to quit working on clones, and wants to make something original come to life, this mod will be back." conflictNo: There will only ever be one Paran Tadec. CITIZEN-132 Citizen-132 is a creepy Single Player total conversion for Half-Life 2. It takes place in the high Alps of France, in a small skiing resort town called Le Berne. Le Berne, the average tourist village has had an interesting, but secret past. Even to people who have lived in the town all their lives, some of the activity that takes place within the town's borders, remains hidden to the eyes of the inhabitants. Through much research into the field of the human body, ex-government scientists and researches may have unlocked the key to human strength. Jack Newell, your average American tourist, and his wife, happen to be in Le Berne at just the wrong time. Forced into the prisons of the ex-government agents, Jack must escape before he too becomes a Citizen. Exploration within the Citizen-132 mod is not limited, and there will be many systems in place to keep you on your toes, and keep you within the game at all times.

Fussbett: ...Dressed in antique German clothing. INC: I thought that was Swiss. :(

Fussbett: The mod takes place in France anyway.

INC: It does? I thought Berne was in Switzerland.

Fussbett: "It takes place in the high Alps of France, in a small skiing resort town called Le Berne."

INC: I really should read these mod descriptions. Jhoh Cable: I hope that people will stop making Counter-Strike ripoffs and make something original like this. Jsoh Cable: I hope Jack Newell loses some weight before his next appearnce anywhere, forever Fussbett: You mean Gabe Newell Jsoh Cable: oh Fussbett: But yeah, Jack could probably stand to lose a few pounds too. Jsoh Cable: Does it mention anywhere about Jack Newell being a fat fuckin fat fuck? Because as anyone can tell, fat people are naturally bad. Fussbett: I wish you could play as tourist from some other country. I think a Spanish tourist would react in a completely different fashion. conflictNo: "The field of the human body" OR anatomy. conflictNo: "Exploration within the Citizen-132 mod is not limited, and there will be many systems in place to keep you on your toes, and keep you within the game at all times." Jump puzzles and the lack of quit-to-desktop functionality? Fussbett: "many systems" like "hallways to walk down". conflictNo: What about his wife?! Fussbett: You probably have to save your wife. "Your wife" is the princess of the 21st century. conflictNo: Maybe she counts as a system. They keep her in a shock cage like in that movie. Fussbett: Why is everyone ex-government? conflictNo: More money in the private sector? Fussbett: What went so wrong in the French democracy? DON'T ANSWER THAT, LOL! Jhoh Cable: These people were so busy writing backstory that they didn't get around to writing the actual fucking story. Fussbett: : The actual story is that you will be kept on your toes and within the game via many systems. Jhoh Cable: Wow. So, when do you get to shoot people? CRIME SYNDICATE Your Uncle Sam , was the notorious leader of a gang called "The White Dragons", Your parents died when you were young so Uncle Sam took you under his wing and raised you , but now as you stand in front of him as the "Chris The Blade" Your life has changed very much from then. With Uncle Sams death you are left in charge of the White Dragons and the battle between the rival gangs , Serpents , Westney Riders and THC. But will Uncle Sams death have revenge ? Or Will The Life of a Crime Boss be too much for you ? We Will See... Various Missions taking you from jobs such as Being A Hitman For Hire , Torching Buildings , Gang War , Smuggling , Drug Dealing and more...

Fussbett: So the mod author, Chris, bought a butterfly knife at a garage sale. conflictNo: "But will Uncle Sams death have revenge ?" I don't know, what did he die of? Fussbett: "Or WTLoaCB be too much for you?" I gave them some acronym help. conflictNo: Does the mod submittal faq suggest randomly capitalizing things? conflictNo: I'm a Gang War man, myself. I'm looking for some subtle commentary on racial inequality in America. Fussbett: Westney Riders are snooty upscale white dudes I think. Jhoh Cable: This guy forgot who the main character was all of two sentences into writing his horrible mod idea, wow. CRISIS 51 Davidov Romanenko formed a terrorist organisation called Blackstar in Russia in early 1989. An ex-Spetsnaz (Russian special forces), Davidov was discharged for dealing weapons and equipment to known terrorists. He escaped a prison sentence and fled overseas. After emerging from many weeks in hiding, Davidov rounded up a group of ex-military and Special Forces mercenaries, whod had similar experiences to Davidov or who knew nothing else but killing and had no use in civilian life. Davidov also promised them good pay but that all depended on whether their goal was successful The terrorist group then began to attack military bases and installations; new factions of the organisation were set up around the world, as it became the "Blackstar" terrorist organisation, the terrifying skill of these terrorists was kept a secret from the world, as was their links to certain governments...

There is an area of secrets, lies and conspiracies in a remote corner if the Nevada desert, its name is the Groom Lake facility, better known as Area 51. There are things of great power, secret things that lurk in the underground labs of the Groom Lake facility, things that some men would sacrifice everything for. One of these men is Davidov Romanenko. Blackstar will break their silence and Mark Slater will have the toughest and most confusing time of his life, where he must face his past as well as fight for his life in an impossible situation... "Terror Holds No Secrets" Fussbett: David Roman, mod author, probably. Jhoh Cable: David realized that his Russian name would be "Davidov." So he instantly decided to make a HL2 mod based on that. Fussbett: Oh wait. He could be Mark Slater. conflictNo: Mark Slater is the worst fictional name of all time. We're hitting near rock-bottom, I'd say. Jhoh Cable: "Mark Slater will have the toughest and most confusing time of his life, where he must face his past as well as fight for his life in an impossible situation... " Or so the mod author would have you believe. Fussbett: What the fuck does Mark Slater have going on that's so tough and confusing? Jhoh Cable: Super secret surprise twist: Mark Slater actually won't have the toughest and most confusing time of his life. conflictNo: And we weren't properly introduced to Mark Slater. Fussbett: Exactly. He's just a footnote. I certainly don't feel invested in his struggle. "By the way, there's a character called Mark Slater who will probably commit suicide in the first chapter." conflictNo: Maybe the author IS Mark Slater and he's referring to his struggle to actually do some work on this mod? Fussbett: His confusion comes out in his writing?!?! conflictNo: "Fighting for his life" = not eating so many meat patties? Fussbett: OMG: Mark Slater concept art. conflictNo: I wouldn't have minded even more of his face being in shadow. Fussbett: I can see the confusion in his eye. :( He knows that THNS. Fussbett: (Terror Holds No Secrets) conflictNo: I thought that it did? Fussbett: Nah, Terror is very open and upfront about everything. Terror has an open door policy Jsoh Cable: the other team plays the mark davidoviches or EWATDEWVR WHATEVER THE FUCK Jsoh Cable: so who is mark what side is he on? Jsoh Cable: and whats the impossible situation? Jsoh Cable: is it FIGURING OUT WHAT HES DOING IN A HL2 MOD? Jhoh Cable: Someone tell this dude that his mod idea was already made as a little game called Deus Ex 2. MEMNITE HIGH You are Seven Porter, a senior at Memnite High School. The school is overrun by terrorists, and you have to try to save the school.

conflictNo: I don't want to do anything in the fat, greasy body of Seven Porter. Fussbett: Terrorists = football team? conflictNo: http://www.trepid.net/memnitehigh/ "Memnite High is a mod that we have been working on for the past 3 years, but we've never had a name for it. We've always called it "The School Terrorists Mod" or "The School Mod." It's a mod that places you in Memnite High School. You are a senior named Seven Porter, and the school is overrun with terrorists. All you have to do is kill the terrorists. You will meet some interesting people along the way, such as Ray Ray Johnson and Big Tom. This mod will be released as soon as we finish it. " Fussbett: Those people sound interesting! One is big, and the other has two names. conflictNo: Hey, Ray Ray! Where are the killable terrorists? Fussbett: "We were shut down a few years ago when were about 70% complete. It was for HL1 back then. But now we don't care. We really whimped out, cause the people that didn't want us to make it didn't even realize you were saving the school. They just thought you were killing students, which is completely opposite of what is really happening." conflictNo: Another creative idea derailed by Columbine fears! WHY?! Fussbett: This mod team folds like a lawnchair! conflictNo: Happy graduation to the Memnite team. Jhoh Cable: So wait, this isn't Toy Soldiers: the Half-Life 2 mod? BORG WARS You play as Captain John Marshal

You graduated at the top of your class as a part of the Red Squadron (references from DS9 Season 6 Episode 22 Valiant)



You help to fight against: The Borg (Easy Mode)

Species 8472 (Medium mode)

The Borg and Species 8472 (Hard/Impossible mode) You have control of the U.S.S. Prometheus (NX-59650)

This is Star Fleets fastest deep space reconnaissance ship available

Jhoh Cable: I can only think of two words. ELITE FORCE. Jhoh Cable: Oh yeah and also: that they already made this game as well. Jhoh Cable: These mod makers need to get out more. Jhoh Cable: And by "get out" I mean "stay inside playing video games." They have such active lives, having sex with beautiful women and driving fast cars, that they don't have time to play games that they are accidentally ripping off with their shitty HL2 mod ideas. Jhoh Cable: Um is it mentioned that Red Squad was used throughout the various Treks as cocky, impatient children who thought they were invincible? And always ended up causing accidents, dying, killing crewmembers, destroying ships that are entrusted to them, disobeying orders, going through emotional breakdowns? Fussbett: I don't think that's mentioned, no. But you could PLAY your ROLE as cocky and impatient. Jhoh Cable: Oooooooo! Well if you were in Red Squad, the only way to play that mod is to fail miserably. And cause as much collateral damage as possible. Jhoh Cable: That "Valiant" episode had some Red Squad kids taking over a ship from their captain after he died in an attack, so they keep patrolling the Federation border for months and months, even though they technically have no captain. Ensign Ricky of Red Squad just takes over the ship. They're like, "well the old captain got orders to check out this super secret giant Jem'Hadar warship, so we'll do that................ AND ATTACK IT!!!!!1 YEAH WE'RE GONNA ROCK." Jhoh Cable: 5 minutes in: "OH NO, THEY DIDN'T EXPLODE, OUR PLAN DIDN'T WORK." Jhoh Cable: 5 and a half minutes in, everyone's dead. Jhoh Cable: Except for Jake and Nog and some chick. Fussbett, conflictNo, The Cable Brothers, INC, Erik