If you believe the numerous reports on cyberspace misogyny that have appeared in the past couple of years, merely being female on the Internet—whether you’re a politician, a journalist, or just a random woman with the temerity to have an opinion—is enough to make you a target for constant sexist insults, vile harassment, and even threats of rape and murder.

Feminist writer Anne Theriault calls it “gender terrorism,” intended to intimidate and silence women. Many commentators and activists across the political spectrum have joined the call for social media platforms—and, if necessary, the law—to provide better protections against such abuse.

But is Internet harassment really a women’s issue—and are we in danger of defining harassment so broadly as to endanger free speech online?

Certainly, one can point to alarming cases of targeted abuse directed at women, from the rape and death threats sent to British journalist Carolyn Criado-Perez after she campaigned to put Jane Austen on a banknote to American feminist writer Amanda Hess’s account of being targeted by a persistent stalker.

But men are hardly immune to such cyber-warfare. Lee Stranahan, a reporter for the American right-wing website Breitbart News, has received death and rape threats directed at himself and his family—which included his home address and phone number being posted online—and has also been the target of phony reports of child abuse.

British videogame critic John Bain (known by the alias TotalBiscuit) has shared a troubling account of being deluged with abusive messages, many wishing him death from cancer, while undergoing chemotherapy.

Ironically, the reason for this abuse was that he had given somewhat sympathetic coverage to GamerGate, the gamers’ movement often accused of anti-feminist harassment.

Beyond personal stories, what about broader patterns? In a widely noticed January 2014 article on sexist Internet harassment in Pacific Standard magazine, Hess cited a survey by the Pew Research Center in which 5% of female Web users reported an online experience that had put them in “physical danger.” But she failed to mention that so did 3% of men—a gender gap within the poll’s margin of error.

A more recent Pew study, released last November, found that 44% of men and 37% of women reported experiencing some kind of online abuse. While much of this abuse was in the mildest category of name-calling, more men than women (10% versus 6%) said they had been physically threatened online. More women (9%, compared to 6% of men) reported being sexually harassed; more women also reported being stalked, though women and men were equally likely to experience persistent harassment.

The reaction? Many media outlets singled out those areas where women reported more abuse to spin the Pew study as showing that women have it worst—while dismissing abuse toward men as mere name-calling.

Yes, the Internet can be a nasty place—for everyone. But the skewed narrative of misogynist harassment is a damsel-in-distress trope in feminist clothing.

It perpetuates the very stereotypes of women that feminists once sought to shatter—delicate, fragile, and too timid for the rough-and-tumble of the public square—while denying sympathy to men who experience abuse.

Alarmingly, this narrative also uses broad definitions that sometimes equate unwanted argument, harsh criticism, or ridicule with harassment.

There is no question that Internet providers, social media platforms, and in some cases legal authorities should do more to curb cyberstalking and other forms of threatening behavior online. But it’s important to make sure that such measures are free of gender bias and political favoritism. It is equally important to avoid blurring the lines between harassment and speech—even robust and unpleasant speech.

- Cathy Young writes for Reason, Newsday, RealClearPolitics, Daily Beast and more. She will be in Toronto Thursday and Ottawa Friday to give her talk "The Politics of Gender and Victimhood". Learn more at equalitycanada.com. Find her on twitter @CathyYoung63