5 October, 2016. 13:23

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

KNOWN PRIMARILY AS THE HOME of the Royal Australian Air Force’s Air Combat Group, Williamtown on the outskirts of Newcastle has played host to another screech skyward for one prominent businessman down on his luck.

Earlier today, disgraced former mining magnate Nathan Tinkler was promoted to the position of manager at the local McDonald’s franchise – an opportunity afford to him by area manager Buckland Gilroy, who agrees that the 40-year-old’s astute business know-how got him over the line.

“We had many ideal candidates for the position of Williamtown manager, but we decided to go with Nathan for a myriad of reasons,” explained Gilroy.

“Firstly, he’s a great physical presence. We get a lot of fighter pilots come in here blind drunk after a night out on the tiles in Newy, so having Nath there to choke them out when they get a bit lippy is a great ace to have up you sleeve. Secondly, he knows how to run a medium-sized business quite well, which is also important,”

“He’s come a long way from his first day here when Willie Mason ‘coned’ him at the drive-through. Though we’d never condone a ‘coning’, it’d be a pissa to see your old boss working at McDonald’s,” he said.

Speaking candidly to The Advocate this afternoon, Mr Tinkler opened his chequebook and asked us how much it was going to cost him to keep this story out of the press.

Explaining that he doesn’t want “a conga-line of cashed-up bogans coming through the restaurant” with the sole purpose of putting shit on him, Nathan said he’d either get John Singleton to have us shot or we’d have to accept a cash donation.

As The Advocate is wholly independent and Chinese-owned, we’ve decided to publish this story unabridged. If we die, it will be under Singo’s Bentley.