Like most single parents, Bill Hader feels he could be doing more.

The 40-year-old Barry actor, who graces the cover of Variety's annual Golden Globes issue, admits the demands of his career often put a strain on his 12-year marriage to filmmaker Maggie Carey. "When I was on SNL, I was a bit of a basket case," Hader tells the magazine. "It could not have been easy on my wife at the time. I was so consumed with work and anxiety."

At the time, he suffered panic attacks and migraines. "Sometimes I felt like people thought, 'Oh, he's just wanting attention or something.' It was like, 'No, man, I'm legit. I'm freaking out right now,'" Hader says. After the birth of their second child in 2012, he decided to leave the sketch series. "It was hard with one kid, let alone two," Hader says. "Because I was just never around."

Hader, who had another daughter with Carey in 2014, filed for divorce in December 2017. It was amicably settled three months later—and he's proud to say, "I'm friends with my ex-wife."