…at the grocery store. I guess it is the best situation to be in when having to take one. It made it sort of fun. Apparently mouthwash, some breath mints, and some gum can throw it off. I feel the need to test this. If you aren’t local, you might need some back story. In Pennsylvania, the state controls your alcohol consumption cuz they are cool like that.

It’s a story of a girl looking for cookies. She stumbled across the Pronto in the Wegmans produce section.

It was almost as silly as the iPod vending machines in airports. The only thing that may have made it less silly to her is that she hasn’t yet been in a liquor store to purchase something for herself since having the baby. That girl is me.

Maybe the allure wasn’t the alcohol itself. I think what drew me to it was that it was a vending machine the size of a walk-in closet. I had to know how it worked.

The touch screen walks you through your purchase. Pick Red or White and flip through the available selection. There is a decent variety of quality and price. Something to please nearly everyone. You can learn a bit about each bottle, with a description and scales of sweetness and body.

Once you have made your selection, you agree to a $1 convenience charge and confirm that you are over 21. You are then asked to scan your ID. All seems normal, though so far, I’m not sure this is very convenient, beyond the additional knowledge most state store employees cannot provide. Then my favorite part! I was asked to take a deep breath and blow firmly into the machine! It took forever to analyze my breath.

Pennsylvania, yes, you saved me a trip to a state-owned store, but I’m not sure it was entirely convenient. The transaction for a single bottle of wine took longer than it would for me to finish said bottle! And considering I could buy beer at a regular checkout in that same grocery store, it seems silly that we need such complicated things for wine. In most states, you can purchase alcohol at gas stations. I’m just saying. Lighten up a little bit.

It was fun, but I don’t think I’ll be visiting a Pronto again anytime soon. I would want to mess with the breathalyzer with mouthwash, but I am sure the state would connect that to my name permanently and it would come back to haunt me. Maybe it is just because it isn’t my usual store. Put one in Whole Foods and I but I would use it… and possibly drink far more than I do now.

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