1. Still tethered to mom and/or birth family after age 35 - If they tell you their family comes first, you never will.

2. Over age 40 and having had either one (usually) short marriage and/or very few or no long term relationships. Don't fret over not being able to grab this one, despite his age, this person, who physically looks like a man, is still a boy, and chances are he has a secret that only the liquor store knows for sure.

3. Hangs with a bunch of guys who fall into # 2 listed above or are terrible husbands.

4. Brags about how his children will always come first, and he's an empty-nester. See explanation in #1 listed above. They're well meaning, but terribly misguided.

5. You're not sure what he does for a living. Sometimes he's working, sometimes not, but whatever it is he does, there's no name for it, when he talks about it you don't understand it, and no one has ever seen him do it.

6. He wistfully talks about the good old days when he used to be successful. When times were good, he bought his women expensive jewelry and cars like they were a penny a pound, he traveled the world and had his picture taken with Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela and they asked for his advice. But today, all he can give you is a toothpick after you pay for dinner. Don't worry, he says, the good days shall return ... in the meantime, can you loan him a hundred bucks?

7. Never ignores a short skirt, pretty leg, ample booty or boobs size B cup and above. No explanation necessary.

8. Misunderstands or doesn't understand most of what you say. Sorry, but there are a ton of men out there who look and dress well but just don't have many kilowatts upstairs. If you say, "I am looking for a man who is capable of emotional intimacy," and his defense is, "I am very emotional," run!

9. Smokes pot, uses drugs. Those of us who are still alive and lively appreciate men who are present, motivated, energized, and healthy. Pot suspends your ability to tune into other people. Need I say more?

10. Hates his job. If you don't like what you're doing, make a plan to do something else, then do it. Stagnation is a turn-off, and the top 5 percent wouldn't dream of it.

11. Doesn't monitor his health. He's sick and a tooth is loose but he won't go to the doctor or the dentist. Girls, if he doesn't get check ups, doesn't floss, and avoids doctors you'll be dating a ticking time bomb with no teeth, and worse, he's the type who won't get Viagra or Cialis when the day comes.

12. Unemployed trust fund kid. These guys have the bucks, but are as boring as freeze-dried hamburger and have the maturity of a 15-year-old.

13. Personalito Nondevelopmento. Speaking of boring ...

14. Not curious. You're together and he never (or barely) asks you anything about you - good Lord the minutes will tick by slowly with this one - and if not you, what is he interested in, anyway?

15. Controlling. Wants final say over what you think, feel, believe, do and where you go? No thanks, dude.

16. Poor provider. A mutual decision for him to stay home with the kids is OK, but there's no bigger turn-off than a man who is unwilling to be a provider.