8 June 2014



Here I am!

Summer blockbuster X-Men: Days of Future Past has been a critical and commercial success, but many of its plot twists have left fans scratching their heads. Luckily, Patrick Stewart granted UnNews an interview, and we were able to ask him everything and anything about the movie!!!

UnNews In X3, we see Professor X killed, and although his consciousness is heard by Moira MacTaggert at the end as though it's embedded in a young patient, I don’t get how you, Patrick Stewart, are alive in the new movie. Wouldn't your consciousness still be in the patient?

I imagine it has a simple explanation - I am really good as Professor X, and it would have sucked balls if his consciousness had entered, say, Seth Rogen. So let's say the Professor entered someone else's mind for a while, had himself cloned, and then jumped back into his old body.

UnNews Then why would he be wheelchair-bound?

Horse riding accident.

UnNews At the beginning we hear that it’s vital for them to bust Magneto out of the Pentagon - but what for exactly? He causes nothing but trouble, and he seemingly has no bond with Mystique, who he is supposed to be talking out of killing that midget.

Em, well I think Erik is obviously a very volatile character. At the beginning they thought he would help them, but as it turned out, he didn't, really.... Plus Micahel [Fassbender] wanted another crack at the English accent after he went all Irish at the end of First Class.

UnNews While we are on Magneto, how did he get his powers back after being shot with a serum in X3?

Hmm, maybe the serum didn't work properly? Look, [director] Bryan Singer really didn't care for X3. He was supposed to direct it, but I suppose he was balls-deep in young Hollywood hopefuls that year. So he just kind of ignored that movie.

UnNews And how did Wolverine get adamantium claws again?

I... I suppose we could say Magneto put them back in, like a dentist doing fillings.

UnNews Why does President Nixon have no idea who Magneto is, despite the fact he was supposed to have killed Kennedy and recently broke out of a top security prison in the Pentagon?

Pass.

UnNews Kennedy is described as "one of us". Does that mean he was a mutant?

Yes, he had the super power of being a drug-addled, adulterous, mafia-linked Paddy who used his superpower to convince the world he was America's great white hope.

UnNews Why is it that every time Mystique gets discovered - which is a lot - she turns back into her blue self and everyone panics long enough to get their asses kicked? Wouldn’t it be better if a) she shape-shifted into, say, a flea, and jumped away, or b) they just shot her in the face, like you would if something scary became more scary?

There was a scene in which she transformed into that midget fellow and ran under everyone's legs, but it was deemed too offensive and cut out.

UnNews Why is it that Magneto can lift a whole stadium up with his mind, but he nearly gets drowned by Beast in the water, and Mystique manages to threaten him with a plastic shiv?

You do know that this is based on a comic, don't you? Just for future reference, if you ever go to see a movie based on a comic, you can probably just switch your brain off when the credits start.

UnNews Why did the future suddenly change at the end? Surely the timeline would be constantly changing with every action in the past - even Back to the Future had that photograph thing…

Have you been to see this movie with a girl? They will ask you enough bloody questions as it is! Imagine if the future kept changing - one minute Storm fighting sentinels, the next minute her typing in an office...

UnNews Oh yeah, Storm! Why is Halle Berry still given nothing to do in these movies?

Ongoing punishment for Catwoman.

UnNews Ok well... just a few questions about the ending: How did Wolverine not die when he drowned?

Healing factor.

UnNews He healed his way out of drowning?

Look, there are action figures that come with this movie. That means this: however much time you spend thinking about it, it's too much

UnNews Why would Mystique pick him up and take him off somewhere?

[Sighs] There are two possibilities: it's a well-thought out link to the next movie... or a total loose end that may or may not be picked up in X Men 7 or possibly 8.