NOW WITH HAIR! (Relieve stress at work by running your fingers through Trump's hair!)

-

The Trump-Scented Candle is a phenomenal deal. Just phenomenal. We’ve made a great, great candle. It combines all of the classiest smells (suntan lotion and steak) to produce an aroma that is tremendous. (To be clear, by “tremendous,” we mean “large in scale or intensity.” We are not claiming that it smells good.) The candle comes in a beautiful shade of orange that looks very natural and not at all weird and off-putting.

Also, you know how candles never say “Merry Christmas” anymore, because they are worried about being "politically correct"? Well, not this candle! If you buy this candle, you are going to see the words “Merry Christmas." Believe me.

The Trump-Scented Candle may look small in the photo, but we guarantee you there's no problem. We guarantee.

NOTE: This candle is not affiliated with or endorsed by Donald Trump in any way, if somehow that was not already obvious.