If you can avoid difficult people, then please do. This is for your own good. Don’t waste valuable time, energy and frankly don’t waste your life on people who contribute nothing to you or others. But if you can’t here are some great points that will help you.

Set strong boundaries. If you are forced to deal with difficult people maybe through family relations, friends or even work then you need to teach them who’s the boss. When they say something out of line, you need to speak up right then and there. “That was completely out of line. I don’t tolerate ANYONE speaking to me like that“. Often this is enough to make them understand that they can’t say whatever they like to you. Don’t take it personally. One thing to remember when it comes to dealing with difficult people is this; they lack a significant amount of emotional intelligence. They are usually highly insecure and living in a place of inner chaos. So don’t take anything they say or do personally. I admit that can be very hard in certain situations and if they cross a crucial line we are getting back to point number one about boundaries and setting a clear stop sign. Smile and nod. Many times this method can be a very effective way of dealing with difficult people. By simply smiling and nodding you are sending the message that you are mature enough not to get mired into their web of lies, chaos and manipulations. You’re above all that and chose not to sink to their level. This way of behaving oozes a level of self confidence that even difficult people can understand. Be Emotionally Intelligent and learn to LET GO. A rule I love is to be smart about my emotions. Usually it’s painful dealing with an extremely difficult person, like the person in my story. You might feel furious, frustrated, hurt and/or a lot of other things all at the same time. Which is understandable, but once you have calmed down, it is time to move on. I know it isn’t easy BUT moving on doesn’t mean you forget what happened. It only means that you are intelligent and mature enough to let go of your anger and live your life without grinding your teeth all the time. Learn from every interaction with a difficult person. Even though we wish we wouldn’t have to EVER deal with nasty people, every now and then we still do, some more than others. There is a good side to it though, each time you get to deal with them you learn. Use every interaction as a lesson. This will build your wall of boundaries stronger each time, which in turn will prevent anyone from getting to you. Have compassion. I know this might go against everything I have talked about so far but I still want to add this point. Because showing compassion towards another human being (difficult or not) is part of being emotionally intelligent and mature. Now how you choose to do that is up to you. I personally showed compassion in my situation in the sense of telling myself that I know better. I know that this person is not as mature, emotionally intelligent and self-reliant as me. Maybe they have gone through something very difficult which I don’t know of, which is why they are acting so irrational. This way of thinking will serve you well and can serve others as well. Be aware, that showing compassion does not mean you forgive, forget and let toxic and difficult people walk all over you. It just means you know how to calm your mind, understand other people and that you are very emotionally strong.

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Choose to be happy,

Selma