1330. We’re met by the lovely Chris Jones, who has the unenviable task of nerd-herding over the course of the shoot. To the bemusement of passers-by, this gaggle of geeks marches into our very own TARDIS, a white trailer whose insides resemble an American diner, only without a jukebox. Or any food. There’s a television, though, and we sit chatting as someone from wardrobe comes to assess our nerd credentials. I watch, nervously, as some of my cohorts are handed extra-nerdy shirts and cardigans to wear. With my checked shirt, striped tie and thick glasses, could I be about to get sent home for looking too cool?

1400. No. In fact, the wardrobe lady compliments me on how nerdy I’m looking and waves me through. I’m told there’s a danger I might strobe, though, and spend the next quarter of an hour envisaging myself as a superhero, a bit like Dazzler from the X-Men (but with larger breasts).

1430. A group of glamorous female extras from an outside agency comes to join us in the trailer. I’m later told that they were dressed rather provocatively, but I’m too busy looking around at the bevy of bespectacled nerdy beauties to notice. I may not have the social skills to actually go up and talk to any of them, but I can sure as hell stare. So that’s exactly what I do.

1500. The call comes through from the not-so-evil overlords on set: bring on the extras! We’re shepherded out of the warmth of the TARDIS and into the bitter cold of a disused multi-storey car park. It’s a glamorous life, working in television. I wonder, as we’re separated into several small groups and positioned between metal fences, if perhaps we have been gathered for a darker purpose – I suspect the sitcom gods would look quite favourably upon a sacrifice of 30 or so nerds in exchange for another successful series…

1515. It seems their plan is more fiendish than I had imagined, as it’s revealed that our first task… is to run. There are some things in life that I just don’t do, and running’s one of them (Counting past 23 is another, which makes birthdays difficult). I consider storming out, but at that moment we are greeted by comedy legend Graham Linehan, writer/director on The IT Crowd and one of the brains behind shows such as Big Train, Black Books, and Father Ted. He thanks us for coming along and explains a little about the scene, and as his Irish tones wash over us my reservations melt away. I don’t do running, but I’ll make an exception for Graham Linehan. Plus, I realise, if I do everything exactly to the letter then he’s sure to promote me to a regular on the show, right?