I’m so jealous of countries that have governments. How cool would that be?

Many years ago, the United States had a government that did impressive things such as winning wars, spreading democracy, and solving huge social issues. In time, it turned into a government that was good at getting blown and tattling. Then we had a government that was too incompetent to do even that. Now we no longer have a functioning government of any kind. The good news is that we seem to have reached a plateau.

Recently our so-called Speaker of the House was meeting with the Syrian government while our so-called Vice President was on Rush Limbaugh’s radio show reminding the world that the so-called Speaker of the House doesn’t speak for the United States in foreign policy. Foreign policy is the job of the so-called President who doesn’t speak to governments that don’t already agree with him.

Today I read that the Defense Department is releasing a report that there was no link between al-Qaeda and Iraq, at the same time that so-called Vice President Cheney was repeating his mantra that there was indeed a link. My tax dollars paid for all of that. I don’t think I got my money’s worth.

Meanwhile, the Democrats are poised for a big win during the next election based on their excellent track record of doing nothing for years. Doing nothing might not sound like a good strategy to you, but if you compare it to what happens when the government actually does something, you can make an argument.

A good test of whether you have a government is this: Can your country do anything big and important? For example, could the United States start a new war, or end an existing one, or change its dependence on foreign oil, or provide health care to all citizens? Apparently not.

At this point, the so-called government does little more than provide content for news channels and blogs. I think they should do more. For example, I’d like to see Congressmen and Congresswomen run across a field of rakes every morning to get to work. For me, it would only take a few rakes in the face per day to make me feel as if my tax dollars weren’t a complete waste.

Is that too much to ask?