Last night’s season opener was packed full o’ penis, which sounds like a way to get lazy laughs…but it wasn’t. We picked up pretty much where we left things: Leslie considering whether or not to run for City Council and Tom leaving the department to work with Jean-Ralphio at Entertainment 720.

Ron’s emergency “Tammy 1” kit, Tom’s chest hair and Chris’ comparison between ears and testicles were among the funniest things about this episode. Ann receiving “dick pics” from almost every male member of Pawnee’s government and Tom’s Entertainment 720 swag were also funny, but the plethora of quotables reigned supreme as the funniest thing(s) about this season premiere. However, the best parts of last night came from my two favorite couples: Ben + Leslie and Andy + April.

Leslie has never been short on ambition (and the s’more rations she keeps in her car are proof that she was the Girl Scout who got multiple preparedness badges), so it was no surprise that she decided to run for City Council. While she spent a great deal of the episode avoiding telling Ben, since this meant they would have to end things, he already knew and fully supported her decision. This was bittersweet for me. I want Leslie to move up the government ranks because she works hard, but she genuinely deserves to be happy with Ben. Why can’t she have both?! I think she should and I’m hoping the writers find a way to make that happen, otherwise it’ll be just another tale of a strong woman choosing between her career and her love life. Yawn…where’s the fun in that?

April and Andy “The Shoe Shine-ist” are adorable. They kept him bumbling without being too pitiful to deserve anyone’s love, while keeping April bitchy yet softer when it comes to her hubby. Aside from the comedic value, Andy as Leslie’s new assistant means he may just fulfill April’s 1-year prediction for him and that he’s not the same guy that lived in a whole for a good portion of the second season.

Next week I’m looking forward to seeing more Ron. I think they kept him in the background because Tammy 1 will require a full half-hour and they had to properly set things up. One final note, did anyone else think “OF COURSE HE DOES” when it was revealed that Jerry has a huge penis? It makes complete sense.

Quotes

“Warning, high levels of swagger coming through.” – Tom



“While other girls were playing with Barbies, I was playing with a Geraldine Ferraro action figure that I made myself from a picture of her that I glued to a Popsicle stick!” – Leslie

“I’m just now getting really good at shoe shining and I mean, I’m still pretty bad at it.” – Andy

“Black print, black background. It’s the coolest possible color scheme.” – Tom

“Ann Perkins, you really know your testes!” – Chris

“…thank you?” – Ann

“I don’t know what you mean, but it had the cadence of a joke” – Perd Hapley (I always wonder if this is a play on derp)

“Your inbox is li-ter-a-lly filled with penises.” – Chris

“Sit up straight, you’re not doing your breast any favors.” – Tammy