Complaining about the new Mass Effect might be a bit old hat right now, but I just finished my final year of university, so I think you can give me a pass for being late to this party. The memes were pretty thorough when it came to mocking the facial animations, walking animations, and anything which involved human movement really. Considering I only began playing the game this July, and it has been through a series of patches to fix these problems since its release, I was surprised to see a pair of eyes were left suspended in midair after I biotic’d the shit out of a Salarian.

Basically, the game was universally panned and felt hugely undercooked.

At this point, I should make two things clear. Number 1: I’m about as close to a die-hard Mass Effect fan as its possible to be without buying an N7 jacket and swearing off the possibility of intimate contact for the rest of my life. Number 2: I actually enjoyed Mass Effect: Andromeda. Or at least, it was much better than its initial condemnation warranted.

The gameplay was a big improvement upon previous instalments. The worlds were much larger and there was much more to explore than previous instalments. The main character (I played as the male Ryder) was arguably more fun to play as than Commander Shepard. That sounds like sacrilege, I know, but this is mainly because of the conversation choices, more variation and some genuinely brilliant moments really help connect you to your Pathfinder. You wouldn’t find Commander Shepard quoting Han Solo now, would you?

Be this as it may, there was something that irked me throughout the game. Somehow the strongest aspect of the entire series had been lost. And it seems hard to find where it went.

Many reviews I’ve come across for Andromeda have praised the crew and characters you play alongside. If we can get past their goofy animations, most people seem to agree that the people you fight alongside are as enjoyable as ever to play alongside and interact with. People who say this are wrong.

Whilst the characters are interesting. The dialogue is well written and voiced. The loyalty missions and moments of character development were fun. Hell, my favourite part of the game is your squadmate Liam Kosta’s loyalty mission (which is impressive in its own right, I was fully prepared for Liam to be Jacob Taylor 2.0). But despite this, the characters are a mess of lost opportunity and frankly silly choices in the context of the universe they exist in. This largely appears in too many characters occupying the same spaces emotionally and for their personalities, and that the whole concept of certain species in the Mass Effect universe are completely forgotten.

Let me take you through a few to show you what I mean.

Peebee

Peebee is eccentric, flighty, impuslive and supremely intelligent. Sounds familiar, no? Sounds a little like a certain beloved Salarian from the original series? Indeed, Peebee is nothing like the stoic, patient, proud and regal species from which she hails: the Asari. I don’t understand why she isn’t a Salarian, who are inherently suspicious, quick minded and quick acting. This would offer so much more to the narrative choices that could be added in, as well as making much more sense when understanding the character.

Her being an Asari offers nothing to the story, other than the potential romance option. But this could easily be replaced by making someone else an Asari if you really just want a blue female alien to sleep with. And, of course, if the Asari doctor on board isn’t good enough…

By doing this, they lost the opportunity to discuss the genophage in any detail (which could have been AMAZING if the remnant offered some way to cure it. Especially considering Peebee is the local remnant expert). The genophage (alongside the Quarian/Geth debacle) is without a shadow of a doubt the most intriguing secondary narrative in the whole original trilogy. What a waste.

Vetra

Like seriously what happened here. Vetra is great and all, but what was the point in her. All of the interesting aspects of her character were completely overlooked. Firstly, she’s renowned from the beginning of the game for her smuggling ability, as well as her diplomatic nous. Not once does she ‘smuggle’ anything for you, nor does she need to by the by. She doesn’t resolve much either.

She’s also a female Turian, which is huge by the way. She’s only the second to appear in the game. She doesn’t act like a Turian at all which is infuriating too. She says she never grew up as part of Turian society. Great, more wasted potential of Mass Effect’s brilliant diversity. The only defining feature of Vetra is that she’s a kind and loving older sister. Great. There was no need for her to have all of this character development if it’s to be stripped out as soon as you actually engage with her.

As far as I’m concerned she could have been the human with no negative consequences to her character, and the whole sister arc could be put onto another character, potentially your science officer, Suvi. Making this smuggler actually smuggle things as intrinsic to the story would also be a good start. Similarly to how Mordin’s brain was crucial in the second game. Also, making this character the female human squadmate would have allowed us to deal with the worst offender: Cora. More on that later.

Drack

Right honestly Drack is great, so I shouldn’t rag on him too much. But the whole ‘aged soldier’ gig causes a number of problems for Drack. Firstly, why is he not replacing Morda as the head of the Krogan in Andromeda? It makes no sense. Judging by the militaristic, patriarchal and huge value placed on strength and fighting in the Krogan culture, Drack is without a shadow of a doubt the natural leader for the Krogan in Andromeda.

On top of this, Morda is the worst. You can’t even speak to her after you’ve finished your work at the Krogan camp, aside for a grunt. What’s the point in her? Honestly, it’s such a waste. Maybe if rather than that nonsensical Jorgal Strux fool it was Drack who you could support in replacing Morda this would make much more sense, and be much more rewarding.

Finally, Drack is almost too kind, and calm to be a typical Krogan. They are an inherently violent and aggressive species. This makes sense in the narrative I suppose when you get to know Drack well enough. But truthfully, Drack is almost too honourable. As far as I can see, an aged Turian would have been almost as effective, so long as you could still speak to Drack in depth in his role as Krogan Overlord.

This wouldn’t be a perfect trade off, I admit, Drack is a brilliant character. But, so long as he existed in his current state in the game, it would be acceptable I believe. Having an old Turian would also add in another dynamic, making up for the lost potential of Vetra, adding wisdom and a new perspective, and also having a slight Garrus nostalgia trip (which I think we all desperately needed in this game).

Cora

Oh my goodness this character is just the worst. It’s not because shes unkind, or rude, or aggressive or anything that might actually make her interesting… its because shes exceptionally boring. This is Cora in a nutshell: ‘I’m human but I was an Asari huntress’. Fucking fantastic Cora. Proud of you.

Oh and also ‘I was meant to be the Pathfinder but now it’s you’. But that bit dissapears pretty quickly, which makes her just that little bit more boring.

Quick question: why isn’t she an Asari? no, better yet, Why isn’t she an Asari huntress with an actual personality? God only knows.

Jaal

You know what, I like Jaal. I think he is a welcome addition to the crew. He and Drack were almost exclusively the two squadmates I chose for every mission. One criticism: he is obviously the new Garrus. This was done a little hamfistedly, all the way down to his little blue monocle eye computer thing. No-one can every really replace Garrus, he will always be one of the greatest NPC’s in gaming to me. I miss you Garrus.

However, speaking of Jaal I do have a qualm: the Angara themselves. Their intergalactic gimmick is that they are… emotive? Well… apparently they are. They have a slightly heightened emotive range compared to the other races. Guess who else was meant to have that same trait in the original trilogy? Humans. Guess who even apparently has the same gimmick in Andromeda? Humans. Find your own fucking niche, Angarans. This ones ours.

Seriously though, there seems to be nothing to them. All of the other species are hugely distinct from one another (well, they used to be), and the Angara look cool, sure, but theyre just the same as humans. This is lazy storytelling.

Liam

Eh, Liam’s pretty cool. His skills seem a bit basic to be assigned to some really high level military special forces. Other than that, theres not much to be said. At least he’s not boring…

Here’s the thing, every single character in this is just a different shade of human. That fact is so sad, and such a waste for any sci-fi property. Its especially sad with a property such as Mass Effect with its brilliantly well thought through and fleshed out lore. Being Krogan used to mean something, being Salarian did too. Asari, Turians, Quarians, Elcor, Volus, Drell, Hanar, Geth, all meant a specific culture, traits and personalities. To have all of them done away with is such a waste, and very sad to a fan like me.

(P.S why does Kallo talk about Salarians having eidetic memories as if theyre being relived? Thats the fucking Drell you fools. It seriously feels like Bioware forgot their entire established Mass Effect universe.)