I’ve finally realized the significance of identifying as pan rather than bi.

To be bisexual, or biromantic, no gender is left out of the picture. (Though potentially could be.) One’s love for a person remains whether they’re one or another, but your view of them may change if their identity changes. You may feel different about dating a man from dating a woman. You may get “bi"cycles and the attraction you feel may weigh heavier for one or another. Attraction for a bi person is like a scale (with no limit on how many sides there are, however that works), always balanced to some degree.

To be pansexual, or panromantic, you literally do not consider a person’s gender when feeling attraction. You may appreciate them and their identity, but if they were to come out as trans or if they were genderfluid or magically shapeshifted into a red-headed girl, your view of them wouldn’t be affected one iota. (Unless you’re trans- or enby- - phobic or something, in which case go lie in a riverbed.)

That’s not to say a bi person would love someone more or less depending on their gender (though idk, that’s personal). But that’s also not to say I would love the food on my plate more or less if it were pizza or pasta.

For a while, I thought it didn’t matter that much whether I said I was bi or pan, but now I’m actually in a relationship, I realize that the way I view my partner through every step of discovering where their identity lies is extremely important to me. I’m excited for them to transition because it will make them happy. If their agab was the opposite binary, and they were transitioning the other way around, I would feel the same. If they suddenly decided they weren’t even trans, I would be concerned and doubtful at this point, BUT I could shift the way I see their gender and not feel any different about them.

I’m sure it’s very special to see someone in the skin of their gender, but that would get in the way for me, and to be honest I don’t understand it.