New World University: Katy Perry is JonBenét Ramsey

This week follows the world’s least convincing conspiracy…

Image via E!Online.

Each week Local will present New World University, a column that breaks down and discusses popular conspiracy theories.

Katy Perry is JonBenét Ramsey

Theory: On the night of Christmas, 1996, child beauty pageant winner JonBenét Ramsey was killed in her family home in Colorado. She was only 6. A lengthy ransom note was found first and her father found her dead in the basement 8 hours after they had reported her missing. She had a broken skull and had been strangled. Her death is officially classified as a homicide, and while both her parents were suspects, the case still remains unsolved.

However, theorists have a different theory: JonBenét Ramsey was not killed that night; instead she was kidnapped (apparently as a part of some sort of Illuminati conspiracy?), her parents staged her death, and she later resurfaced as Katy Perry in 2008 with the hit song “I Kissed a Girl”.

Their evidence includes the resemblance of Katy Perry and JonBenét Ramsey as well as the “resemblance” of both their sets of parents. One youtuber theorist went to great lengths to prove that the similarities of their eyebrows, which must mean that they’re the same person.

A different youtuber points out one of the lines in Katy Perry’s memoir (Katy Perry apparently has a memoir???), she wrote in reference to writing songs at an early age, “Not that I was one of those stage kids. There was no JonBenét Ramsey inside of me waiting to burst out.” Now if she was really JonBenét why would she even make that reference? Well according to the youtuber, “The Illuminati always puts out clues hidden in plain sight.” Sure.

How it started: The theory seems to have begun from a Youtube video entitled “‘JoBenét Ramsey’ is singer ‘Katy Perry’” posted in December 2014 (it has since been taken down). The theory gained traction from there, with several youtubers like the ones I mentioned above making their own “evidence” videos. The story eventually gained enough traction for Entertainment News sites to start covering it in February 2016 and Katy Perry even referenced it at the VMAs this year.

Real or fake: FAKE. Honestly, this might be the worst conspiracy theory I’ve ever seen. There is no real evidence other than “white people look alike” and it takes a quick google search to see that Katy Perry would’ve already been 12 when JonBenét was murdered.

There’s also Perry’s Christian pop album Katy Hudson (her real name), which was released in 2001 (Perry was 17, JonBenét would’ve only been 11) and records of her being picked up and dropped by big-name labels Island and Columbia between 2001 and 2008, which undermines the whole “Katy Perry appearing out of nowhere” idea.

Plus, the motivation for turning JonBenét Ramsey into Perry is shodding-ly filled in and is just hand waved as “Illuminati stuff.” Do you really think the Illuminati would take their time and resources to fake the death of a child pageant winner and turn her into a pop star? The theory just comes across as the first thing the original conspiracy theorist could think of.

If after reading this, you still think Katy Perry is JonBenét Ramsey, then I don’t what to tell you…except if you pay me 10 bucks, you can meet my talking dog.