Alas, Poor Yorick

FIRST CLOWN

This same skull, sir, was Yorick’s skull, the king’s jester.

HAMLET

This?

FIRST CLOWN

E’en that.

HAMLET

Let me see.

[Takes the skull.]

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio:

a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.

Too much jest, at times. Honestly, sometimes Yorick

Just kept going with the jests, even when everyone

Else was done. Look, I love a good jest, ask anyone.

They will say “Hamlet? That guy loves jests.”

But Yorick would just keep going and going.

Too far, he would go, Horatio. Much too far.

Sometimes I could have used less jest and more fancy.

Oh Yorick, where be your gibes now? Your gambols?

Your songs? Your hair? Your skin? Yorick, where is your skin?

You are just a naked skull. Did someone take your skin?

I remember it well: most of your skull used to be covered in skin.

And yet now, not so much. Truly, ‘tis strange.

You are as skinless as a grilled chicken sandwich, Yorick.

Oh, but once, you had a bunch of lips, near the mouth area,

And a nose, somewhere around here.

It made you look less frightening than you look now.

His eyes, that once twinkled so after a particularly good gibe or gambol,

Are now gone. Maybe they’re around here somewhere?

No, do not look for them, Horatio, they could have rolled anywhere.

Anyways, I should have asked before just grabbing this skull.

You there, First Clown, is it alright if we just grab any of these skulls?

They were laying about, so I figured that this is

just a “grab whatever you want” sort of deal.

Now, my hands are cov’red in skull grime.

I really should have asked if you’re allowed to just grab

Any of these skulls. I will have to go wash my hands.

[Puts down the skull.]

Prithee, Horatio, tell me one thing.

HORATIO

What’s that, my lord?

HAMLET

Is it strange that we’re just watching these guys dig up corpses?

T’would be wise to probably say something, right?

You, you two clowns: Do we have clowns bury people in Denmark?

Were we out of gravediggers, and decided to hire clowns?

If so, that is absolutely fucking frightening.

Wait, Horatio, hold.

[Takes another skull]

Whose skull is this?

HORATIO

Uh…

HAMLET

Oh, it is Jeremy’s skull.

I did not know him, Horatio, but many whisper’d that he was an okay guy.

[Puts down skull.]

Anyway, did I tell you that my Dad died?

I am sad about it.