I guess it’s technically the day of love or whatever if you’re reading this when it goes up, and what better way to celebrate this love filled day than with a joke about sexual assault! Or if you’re a day late and things are feeling all presidential fear not! It’s also a joke about professional misconduct- a favorite pastime of politicians everywhere! And if it’s still later than that? Well, then enjoy the presumably warm sandy beach. That’s what I’ll be doing anyway. Anything to forget how fucking cold it is outside, and, thanks to the wonders of incredibly shitty insulation, inside, at the moment.