If you're a tween, you might find dopey-eyed moppet Ron Weasley attractive, or if you're a tween with problems at home, you might have a crush on Snape. But if you're a grown woman who wants a grown man, you want Mad-Eye Moody. He would smell of cigarettes and leather and hair that hasn't been washed for a few days. He doesn't have the body of Adonis, but who wants some gym rat anyway? Moody has seen and done unspeakable things, things when you ask about will cause him to give a far off look and not respond. -K.N.