So CCP have handed out the latest batch of Christmas Gifts – these ones mostly poke fun at various EVE jokes and legends. There is one particular item that caught my eye.

For those unaware, there was a forum post from about 4 years ago that attained some popularity due to the Original Poster needing help with a Raven fit then proceeding to spam the thread with this;

My Raven was equipped with the following:

HIGH

06 x Cruise Missile Launcher I

01 x SMALL TRACTOR BEAM 1

01 x SALVAGER I

MEDIUM

04 x LARGE SHIELD EXTENDERS

01 x ‘HYPHNOS’ ECM

01 x MEDIUM SHIELD BOOSTER

LOW

01 x EMERGENCY DAMAGE CONTROL

01 x ARMOR KINETIC HARDENER I

01 x ARMOR THREMIC HARDENER I

02 x WARP CORE STABILIZER I

DRONES

02 x WARRIOR I DRONES

03 x HAMMERHEAD I DRONES

UPGRADES

01 x ROCKET FUEL CACHE PARTINTION I

01 x BAY LOADING ACCELERATOR I

So, as one of the Christmas gifts, CCP released the Ship Fitting Guide. That is where I should have stopped. But I could not.

I could not stop staring at this majestic ship. This beautiful celestial engine of destruction. This fit that, truly, could defeat all others. Why am I in Jita? Why is my wallet emptier? What do you mean, “I put the Guide in my hold”?

And there it was. My Raven was sat in Jita. Perhaps here, I should have stopped. I did not.

For you see, I went into Lowsec. To be precise, I went to Old Man Star – one of the major PvP hubs of lowsec. I entered Lowsec in Lonetrek to start, where nothing at all proceeded to fight me in an hour. I did, however, bring Retribution upon a Cyno Kestrel. Bored with Lonetrek, I made my way to Old Man Star.

Local was busy but contained a lack of Stuff to Shoot. I had no intention of going Suspect on a station or gate, and noone was willing to fight be despite my cries in local.

[ 2012.12.21 15:35:47 ] tgl3 > MY RAVEN IS EQUIPPED WITH THE FOLLOWING

[ 2012.12.21 15:35:49 ] tgl3 > Ship Fitting Guide

In despair at Not Being Killed on the station or gates, I warped to the first Asteroid Belt in Old Man Star, continuing to cry in local. I waited 15 minutes.

This was obviously the time the pirate gang needed to form to kill my super Raven. An Arazu warped in at 90km. He pointed me twice. I warped away. I warped back. A Vagabond awaits. He points me. I warp away. You have to work for the kill, gents.

This time I warp to Planet 3 – the only celestial in that direction. They’ll catch me, but I’m really bored at this point. A Drake lands first, so I begin the 45 second lock sequence to deliver pain and destruction.

The Drake locks me down. The Arazu appears. So does a Rapier. Then a Stabber Fleet Issue and a Manticore.

But I was fighting. NOTHING SHALL DEFEAT ME.

Then a whole lot of other shit came in too.

And that was the end of my Raven.