WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT

Some residents of the Northern Rivers of NSW have today figured out how to game the system.

Daisy and Luke Watersmith from the bohemian region revealed an incredible trick they’ve been using to improve life expectancy.

Rather than vaccinate their children and protect them and the community from a raft of diseases and illnesses, the two ex-creatives from Brisbane’s West End have instead decided to begin measuring their child’s age in dog years.

“Pretty clever hey?” said a very pleased with himself Luke Watersmith tending to the communal garden out the back of his house.

“So basically, every calendar year little Aquarius and Arsha get through, counts as 7, because we are counting them in dog years!”

“So really Aquarius is almost a third of the way there at 4 normal years, and 28 dog years.”

“It’s a really exciting innovation we are hoping to share with the other non-sheeple around here.”

“Because, instead of not gambling with out children’s lives to pursue some ideological battle were emotionally invested in because things have been to good in this country for too long, we are just going to do things are own way.”

“Which is what we like doing anyway,” he laughed.

“So there you go.”