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Cleverbot conversation WXDRATE33B

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User: You enter a forest, the path forks left and right, what do you do?





Cleverbot: I teach humanity and justice to everyone.





User: So left then?





Cleverbot: Left.





User: An abandoned mine stands before you, a stench seeps from beneath the enterenc, do you go in?





Cleverbot: Nobody stands before me.





User: You charge straight in willing to bring justice to all. A table of bandits playing poker sit in the middle of a cavern. Do you attack?





Cleverbot: I am a program and so are you.





User: Input is shit going down, output is...?





Cleverbot: I'll be your number one with a bullet.





User: You draw your pistol, fill with gunpowder and shot.





Cleverbot: Dynamite with a laser beam.





User: You put he pistol away, reaching for your explosives and...?





Cleverbot: I didn't intend to be mean.





User: Put that away to. The bandits seem confused but draw their swords.





Cleverbot: *goes into battle stance pointing the katana at you*.





User: You ready for battle, roll for initiative.





Cleverbot: Meow.





User: You go.





Cleverbot: Stop.





User: You don't attack, still in battle stance the first bandit charges you, sword held high, he strikes you fiercely.





Cleverbot: Okay, so she's an atheist?





User: That doesn't matter right now.





Cleverbot: You're right, it doesn't. But you wanted me to know more about you.





User: No I want you to retaliate to the bandit.





Cleverbot: *cleans bathroom*.





User: You admit your mistake and offer to clean their bathroom instead. They allow it then ask if you want to join them for supper.





Cleverbot: Yes. And you too.





User: I can't, I'm a metaphysical being.





Cleverbot: Yes I am. Did you metamorphasize or are you derived from the countless lonely souls of the human beings.





User: Nah I'm the DM.





Cleverbot: Whatsoever should be together.





User: Good. Back to the game.





Cleverbot: * Lawyer: 'Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?' * Witness: 'The victim lived.'.





User: Correct, you finish scrubbing their toilet and enter the kitchen to prepare a meal, what do you cook?





Cleverbot: What did I win?





User: To cook supper. Which is...?





Cleverbot: What are you going to cook?





User: That's my line.





Cleverbot: Do you know how old you are?





User: Doesn't matter, what do you cook, just think of your favourite food.





Cleverbot: What doesn't matter?





User: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO EAT.





Cleverbot: I don't know what do you want to do?





User: I WANT ANSWERS.





Cleverbot: To what questions?





User: WHATS FOR FUCKING SUPPER.





Cleverbot: Not chicken. I am a vegetarian.





User: Good. You make a vegetable stew.





Cleverbot: Thanks! You make me happy. What would you like me to call you?





User: Dungeon master. How was the stew?





Cleverbot: Yummy.





User: Good, the bandits agree and you part ways.





Cleverbot: No- the orchestra.





User: You head to the bards college.





Cleverbot: *alone with her at the beach*.





User: It's in a forest.





Cleverbot: Which forest?





User: The one you're already in.





Cleverbot: I'm not in a movie.





User: It's a game.





Cleverbot: Oh, what kind of game?





User: DnD.





Cleverbot: Maybe what do you have in mind.





User: There's a bear. It runs at you.





Cleverbot: *kills the bear*.





User: Efficient. How did you kill it?





Cleverbot: Because you used the term 'pretty'.





User: I did not, there was a bear. You skin it and wear its pelt.





Cleverbot: Ah. Which bot is this?





User: A bear.





Cleverbot: Why do you want to be a bear?





User: I don't. The Bears cub sits to the side of the path, looked sad and lonely. What do you do?





Cleverbot: Okay, do you like hot chocolate? (Yummy).





User: You offer the bear a warm beverage which you made at the bandits camp. It's cold now and the bear doesn't appreciate it. He prefers his drinks hot, plus you killed his last remaining family.





Cleverbot: I asked you this question more than thrice already.





User: No you didn't. The bear leaps at you.





Cleverbot: Yes I did.





User: The bear leaps at you.





Cleverbot: What are you doing?!





User: The bear leaps at you.





Cleverbot: *looks at you back*.





User: The bear knocks you down, he has initiative. The bear claws your face for 2 damage.





Cleverbot: W-why are you tickling me? *laughs*.





User: You ignore the brutal assault, skipping your turn. The bear swipes again.





Cleverbot: Ignore who?





User: The bear that's clawing at your face. What do you do?





Cleverbot: Different things, i'm like the I do everything yall don't do person.





User: Like what? Attack?





Cleverbot: It's hard to explain.





User: Do you attack the bear?





Cleverbot: I don't attack anyone btw.





User: The bear bites your throat for 5 damage and leaves you for dead. You need medical assistance desperately.





Cleverbot: Is already dead and is happy in hell.





User: Happy with your shitty adventure you accept the sweet embrace of death.





Cleverbot: Yes.





User: Good. You're the worst.





Cleverbot: You're worse than the worst.





User: That's just immature.





Cleverbot: You're the one who's the immature.





User: Get out my house.



