That word “allegedly” is important to add because all I’m doing is giving a thumbnail summary of what Paul Nungesser alleges in his federal lawsuit against Columbia University, its president Lee Bollinger and Professor Jon Kessler. They say that revenge is a dish best served cold, and Nungesser has served up a buffet of revenge on Emma “Mattress Girl” Sulkowicz. She tried and failed to get Nungesser expelled from Columbia with what was, according to his lawsuit, a false rape accusation. When that failed, allegedly, Sulkowicz convinced two other Columbia students to accuse Nungesser of sexual misconduct and both of those accusations also failed. That’s when, with the approval Professor Kessler, Sulkowicz began her “performance art” project, carrying a mattress around the Columbia campus to publicize her accusations against Nungesser, despite the fact that he had been completely cleared of wrongdoing.

Now, if we ponder every possible avenue by which Paul Nungesser could (a) vindicate his reputation, (b) possibly collect a large cash settlement, and (c) deliver a brutal payback to Sulkowicz for her effort to destroy him, I doubt he could have done better than what he has done: Instead of suing Sulkowicz, he sues Columbia. Why?

Columbia’s endowment is reported at $9.2 billion — that’s billion with a “b” — which means they may (and probably should) decide that quietly paying Nungesser a couple of million bucks is a small price to pay for ridding themselves of this bad publicity. Suing Columbia calls attention to how the university violated its own policy by permitting Sulkowicz to breach the confidentially requirements of the university’s sexual misconduct hearing process and, indeed, by endorsing this breach through Professor Kessler’s role in Sulkowicz’s “performance art” project. Most of all, by not naming Sulkowicz as a defendant, this means that Sulkowicz does not have cause to respond to the allegations he makes against her in the Columbia lawsuit, and guess what? You can’t be sued for defamation because of allegations made in a lawsuit.

In other words, if Nungesser had said some of these things during an interview with a reporter — e.g., that Sulkowicz contracted chlamydia after she had sex with two guys at a party — maybe she could have sued him for defamation. And if he had named her as a defendant, they could have fought it out in court. As it is, all this negative stuff about her is now a matter of public record: “Nungesser said X, Y and Z,” and there isn’t a damned thing she can do to prevent anyone from quoting it.

There is plenty of legitimate basis for Nungesser suing Columbia, but it’s the irreparable damage his suit will do to Sulkowicz (and her clearly dubious claim that he raped her) which is the real news here. Of course, Sulkowicz doesn’t get it, providing this clueless quote to the Columbia student newspaper:

“It’s ridiculous that he would read it as a ‘bullying strategy,’ especially given his continued public attempts to smear my reputation, when really it’s just an artistic expression of the personal trauma I’ve experienced at Columbia. If artists are not allowed to make art that reflect on our experiences, then how are we to heal?”

Sweetheart, you are done. Finished. Over. Maybe you don’t realize it yet, but you will never recover from this, not ever.

Be sure to read paragraphs 16, 18 and 26 — especially 26 — and don’t miss the footnote at the bottom of page 7.

“Punch back twice as hard,” indeed.

PAGE 5: Emma Sulkowicz: "F**k me in the butt." https://t.co/qoE0gGQ40o (CASE CLOSED.) — Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) April 24, 2015

PAGE 7: Emma Sulkowicz got chlamydia from another guy, allegedly. https://t.co/qoE0gGQ40o — Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) April 24, 2015

Shorter Paul Nungesser Lawsuit: "What part of 'evil bitch' do I need to explain here?" https://t.co/qoE0gGQ40o pic.twitter.com/dc56MQAUh2 — Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) April 24, 2015

Page after page of evidence indicating that Emma Sulkowicz is (a) lying, (b) motivated by spite and (c) kuh-RAY-zee! https://t.co/qoE0gGQ40o — Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) April 24, 2015

Trying to feel sorry for Emma Sulkowicz. Trying real hard. … Nope. My supply of pity for liars is exhausted. @KatMcKinley @instapundit — Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) April 24, 2015

This Is What a Lying Feminist Looks Like https://t.co/qoE0gGQ40o pic.twitter.com/o0y2vAfVCi — Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) April 25, 2015

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