In an historic, unprecedented moment for the Anglican Diocese of Sydney, its Synod has formally apologised to victims of domestic abuse — including the spouses of clergy members — who it acknowledged had not received good enough care and support from the church.

Key points: Clergy members and church leaders are advised to complete specific domestic violence training

Clergy members and church leaders are advised to complete specific domestic violence training The church has been criticised for donating $1 million to the No campaign

The church has been criticised for donating $1 million to the No campaign It only allocated a few thousand dollars to its Domestic Violence Task Force

The synod voted unanimously on Tuesday evening that, despite previous denials by prominent Anglicans, the Sydney Diocese "make a confession" that domestic abuse has occurred in the church, that it apologise for "failures to respond well pastorally to such situations" and that it adopt a comprehensive policy and good practice guidelines for responding well to family violence in church communities.

The provisional policy recommends clergy members and church leaders complete specific domestic violence training, and will ensure church staff who give poor advice to victims of abuse are seriously disciplined.

The apology was made at the end of a day of controversy for the church, which has been criticised for donating $1 million to the No campaign against same-sex marriage while allocating only a few thousand dollars to its Domestic Violence Task Force.

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But it represents the church's serious reckoning with the fact that, as ABC News has previously reported, domestic abuse affects not only its congregation, but its leadership, and that the church of all denominations has, in some cases, ignored it or allowed it to go on unchecked in what one advocate has called an "abuser friendly culture".

While church leaders initially denied the reports, in the past few weeks three synods — the church's governing bodies — have acknowledged abuse in their ranks, their failure to deal with it adequately, and made public apologies to victims and survivors. The Sydney Anglican Synod is the third behind the General Anglican Synod and Uniting Church Synod of Victoria and Tasmania.

'We could have done better'

Addressing the synod on Tuesday evening, Canon Sandy Grant, chair of the Diocese's Domestic Violence Task Force, offered an apology for times he had personally failed to listen "with acceptance" to victims of violence, or had been "ignorant of of the deceptive dynamics of domestic abuse".

"I have failed, and so have others, and it's right to apologise for such failures," Mr Grant, the senior minister at St Michael's Cathedral in Wollongong, said.

"We could have done better."

Just as he needed to apologise personally, he said, the entire Sydney Diocese — the largest diocese in the Australian Anglican Church and historically the most influential and conservative — did too.

"I hope this motion of honesty will be a small but real token of help and comfort," Mr Grant told the synod. "And maybe even healing for victims among us."

Seconding the motion to apologise, Reverend Nigel Fortescue, the rector of the Campbelltown parish, said a friend had told him the church was currently the last place he'd go for help with marriage.

"I'd love to hear church members all over our diocese saying the exact opposite," Reverend Fortescue said.

"In the busy-ness of parish life we clergy can forget to freshly enquire about how things are going for someone, we can forget to ask what we can do to help … I have forgotten to do these things and I am deeply sorry to those who I have failed."

For church members to feel confident that their leaders can help with domestic abuse situations, he added, "we need to be the ones to drive that cultural change in our churches".

It's right to apologise for our failures to respond well to domestic abuse, Sandy Grant told the synod. ( Supplied: Anglican Media )

Policy undermined by teaching of submission: lay leader

The motion for the synod to adopt the provisional domestic violence policy was carried unanimously, but did not go unchallenged.

Lyn Bannerman, lay synod representative for Christchurch St Laurence in George Street, told the 700-odd people gathered at Wesley Conference Centre in Sydney's CBD that she supported the policy but rejected its references to wifely "submission" in marriage as it compromised the church's "credibility" in countering a culture where abuse could continue.

The term submission, taken from the biblical model of male headship in marriage — where a man is to lead his wife in "sacrificial love" and his wife is to voluntarily submit to him — is frequently criticised by counsellors and psychologists who say it enables perpetrators of domestic violence and confuses victims, who think it is their duty to endure abuse.

Ms Bannerman said the policy's inclusion in its appendix of a "warning" to clergy that "care must be taken" if biblical themes of a wife's submission or a husband's role as 'head' are expressed in marriage vows showed that "some real reservations were coming through".

"We cannot assert with any credibility that we oppose all forms of abuse — including emotional — and continue to use the word submit," Ms Bannerman said.

"The current meaning [of 'submit'] relates to behaviour that this policy rejects completely, but we continue to assert that 'submit' is a biblical truth for marriage. Something has to give here."

Ms Bannerman said she personally knew young women who felt "alienated" by the church "because of one too many 'submission' services at friends' weddings", which included "proud announcements from celebrants that [the words] 'I submit' were engraved in brides' wedding rings".

"We've lost them to the Anglican church and they're angry and deeply offended," Ms Bannerman said.

Ms Bannerman's objections were not heeded and the motion still passed unamended, though a group of women attending in the public gallery applauded her speech enthusiastically and she told ABC News several people thanked her on her way out of the synod.

Church attacked for huge donation to No campaign

Counsellors and survivors have since applauded the new policy, saying it would, if fully implemented, make the church a safer place.

Some on social media said they were thankful the church was acknowledging this issue, while a chorus condemned the Sydney Diocese for spending $1 million on the No campaign against same-sex marriage but only $5,000 on the Domestic Violence Task Force.

Others continue to argue the Sydney Diocese will be unable to effectively address domestic violence while it continues to teach the biblical doctrine of male headship.

Kara Hartley said she hopes the Sydney Diocese's domestic abuse policy will "bring consistency of practice in our churches". ( Supplied: Anglican Media )

But Kara Hartley, the Diocese's Archdeacon for Women, said the policy "underlined multiple times that nothing in the Bible can in any way be used to condone abuse".

"We know from our work [in the Domestic Violence Task Force] that there's no one factor or theory, apart from sin, that explains domestic abuse," Ms Hartley told Synod.

"Each circumstance needs to be dealt with on its own merits, but there are common actions, responses and resources that can be employed to help support those in the midst of these situations, victims and perpetrators alike.

She added: "I trust this policy … will help bring consistency of practice in our churches."

Editor's note (11/10/17): A quote from Rev Nigel Fortesuce has been edited. A previous version mistakenly attributed a quote to him that was said by his friend.