Eat the rubber ducky after cutting it up into bite size pieces and mixing it with cyanide and chocolate ice cream in a cereal bowl. Be sure to finish eating all of it. Your wish will be granted within the next two hours. It's important not to drive a vehicle after eating this meal because you may loose consciousness and hurt or kill someone else. You're right, there's no reason for you to live anymore because your rubber ducky doesn't squeak anymore. Rubber duckies know the rules and they know those who have them will eat them if they cease to perform as advertised and will also kill themselves because the owner of the rubber ducky will have become too attached to the rubber ducky that the only way to get rid of the grief of the loss is to kill oneself. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) failed to see this as a potential problem and must be informed of it so a warning can be ordered to be placed on all new and old rubber duckies that there's a potential for someone to feel there's no reason to live and want to kill oneself were the rubber ducky to fail to squeak. This is a serious problem and must be dealt with by the FTC before it becomes an epidemic affecting everyone who has a rubber ducky in their possession or anywhere in the house. This is now your responsibility to inform the FTC of this problem so you will get the credit for informing them of the problem as I don't wish take the credit for doing so from you.