Gaddafi attempts to defuse protests with old skool acid house mix tape

Unconfirmed reports are coming out of the Libyan capital that Colonel Gadaffi is attempting to end the the protests against his leadership by inflicting some serious acid beats and mental visuals on those he claims are “tripping their tits off”.

The capital’s sound system has been cranked up to 11 and police are throwing tie-die t-shirts into the crowds of protesters.

The under-fire leader, who appeared on state TV wearing white gloves and a T-shirt that read ‘I put the trip in Tripoli’ has put together a “wicked” mix tape that he has titled Colonel G’s Ultimate Old Skool Acid House Anthems Megamix Carve Up.

During a rambling 75-minute speech Col Gaddafi described the protesters of being “properly right on one” and revealed they were “Twisting his melons, man”

Gaddafi claims protesters on drugs

Foreign secretary William Hague revealed the governments concerns at the news that Gadaffi may be harbouring WFG’s (Whirling Fractal Generators) by revealing “The last labour government left this country with the largest budget deficit in…..oh no, wait, that’s the wrong bit of paper…”

The news of a possible rave taking place in Libya has sparked concerns that people will travel to the area in search of fast-paced electronic music and light shows after sightings of seven people in a Ford Cortina at a service station on the M6 looking at a map of northern Africa.