You're constantly floating between different circles. Of course, being in any POC circles is better than being in a white circle.

Absolutely. But you're never fully welcome in any circle. It doesn't matter what race it is. It doesn't matter. It's weird. And then sometimes I'll do a project and it’s a bunch of brown girls, ‘Sick!’ And then always, I don't know why, but it goes so wild. It gets so crazy. Everyone's so opinionated and strong, Middle Eastern women. Oh my God. It's like, I'm talking to myself times 10, everyone’s so stubborn. But still, I would rather work with that than a group of white people.

That's the caveat forever, ‘It's still better than working with only white people.’

Yeah! No matter how weird I may feel in a POC circle it’s still better than hearing racist passes at me on a set.

Constantly feeling like you’re undervalued, not even having to question it.

Absolutely. And obviously, the Black people on sets have it the fucking worst. I've been on sets where it's like, ‘Okay, you're not being directly racist towards me and might be cool, but you're being fucking whack and saying weird shit about Black people on Black culture,’ you know what I mean? Hip-hop was invented by Black people. Being around a lot of white artists, they're imitating all of that. Like, this is so corny of you. And it's weird. Cause you’re dumb and young and probably don't even like, think about the fact that you’re being racist.

Which is worse because they're not expected to think about it, there's no reason to think about it.

There’s that, and then there's saying the n-word. Oh my God. Once on a set, I was talking to my other photographer friends and she's like, ‘Yo, we gotta start invoicing for therapy because I was put on a white set.’ I was like, I'm down to start doing that, especially those in the Black community.

And sometimes I have to think about it, the fact that I'm even here and being in this community and shooting music stuff, it's because of Black people. We're all profiting off of this, but white people don't just don't want to drill it in their head. Without Black people these music labels won't be anywhere, you know? I'm not saying that there are not talented white artists, we all listen to them, rock and roll is mad white people. But don't get it fucked up. We all owe it to Black people.

But for me specifically, it’s misogyny. And then there are white girls getting the job over me, you know? So if it's not a white man, then it’s a white girl.

And then there’s the issue of people sometimes not even knowing what race I am or where I come from. People can tell I’m not white but they don’t know where the fuck I’m from. It's more of an American ignorance thing. They’re like, ‘What? Iraq?’ I'm like no, Iran. How do you know Iraq but you don’t know the larger country that’s right fucking next to it?

Or they know where it is and they’re like, ‘Aw shit right that country that wants to blow us up.’

Oh my God. Dealing with cops. It's always, ‘When was the last time you were in Iran? Does your family work with a government? Are you guys spies and stuff?’ You look at me and you think I must be a spy or a terrorist? And that's the first fucking question you asked me?

We were like shooting a video for a friend two months ago or something. And then I guess we were on in an area that was restricted but we didn't see the signs. And we were just shooting those like four of us at night cops pull up, fucking investigators. It was me and my sweet friends and they're all Black. And it's like, okay, here we go. This is going to be the worst fucking thing. An Iranian with three Black guys, sick. So they questioned everyone. And then to my surprise, they questioned me the longest like, ‘Oh, so you're from Iran. Oh, you were there two years ago. Okay. Yeah, let's talk more.’ The guy was like, ‘Okay, so what does your mom do? What does your dad do? Do you have family in Canada? Do you have family in America? What does your uncle do? What do your cousins do? What are their full names? Do you have your passport?’ And I was like, ‘No, why would I have my passport on me?’ I have my ID. They thought my ID was fake. My Toronto driver's license. I hated these guys. It was so wack. I have been to Iran once in like twelve years and it’s a big deal.

Something you brought up a second ago that I wanted to ask more on, how did you feel the transition of racial politics when you got here?

I grew up somewhere with my kind. You’re only around your own kind. They run the economy, the run the country. When you see white tourists, that’s the most you'll see white people. Coming to Canada was the first time that I experienced racism off the Internet or books or TV or movies. Like when you watch a lot of movies, it's like, ‘Okay, like this is racism.’ Watch it on the news. This is racism. Your parents tell you, this is racism. It's not cool. You don't treat other people like that, you know? And then you come and move to somewhere that's white dominant and you're like, ‘Whoa, why am I the weird one?’ Why is my outfit weird too? I used to wear tracksuits and Nike's. And my school, my white ass school, I used to get bullied for that make weird. But I was in a super white suburban neighborhood, if I was buying the same fit in New York, that's a whole other story. It was a shock. Like, ‘Wait, why am I the weird one?’ Why am I the one that outsider?’ It just feels lonely. I hate that I have to adapt to your routines and your way of running things.

Do you still have experiences where you go in and no matter what you've been assigned or who has hired you, you have to prove yourself?

I'm constantly fucking trying to prove myself. It gets exhausting. I go on sets where the director has the tiniest I’m getting treated like I'm the amateur. I've been doing BTS (behind the scenes) photography. Being on music video sets, no one gives a shit about BTS photography. They get paid nothing. You’re always getting bitched at. ‘You’re in the shot!’ Get out of the shot!’ Blah, blah, blah. And then most of the time they're not getting paid and not getting paid on time. Everyone uses the photos, nobody tags them. It’s just a lose, lose, lose, lose situation

This video, ‘Pardon Me,’ was the biggest fuck you to anyone that was ever like, ‘Oh, Zhamak? The BTS photographer?’ No, bro. I'm not just the BTS photographer. My photo career is seven years old now. The BTS photography, the past three, four years was my means of income and my networking. Learning and putting in my 10,000 hours.