Big mother is watching you…

This week I was really struggling with what to write about. It wasn’t so much that nothing had happened but rather that most of it wasn’t suitable for public consumption on one way or another. This got me thinking about why I felt the need to censor my blog posts, after all I am, for the most part, an out spoken, self assured young woman, shouldn’t I be proud to stand by my life experiences, thoughts and feelings (especially contained within a blog which has modest viewing figures like mine)?

Well yes in theory, however there are several issues which interfere with my high brow, free speech ideals. You see my first mistake was telling my mother that I had started a blog… the second was telling her how to find it. I realise now that she is probably the most noteworthy person in my life at the moment, at the very least the one I have the most varied emotional relationship with. As all good writers (and probably most bad ones too) know, your personal life is the greatest thing you can draw on for inspiration.

But it’s not just restricted to my mother, oh no that would be too easy, I also shared this blog with my Grandmother, my boyfriend and everyone I know on Twitter, Facebook and Google+. I am essentially now a blogger version of David Blaine, sitting in a glass box, eating, sleeping and pooping (metaphorically of course, don’t worry it’s not that kind of blog) for all to see.

I know what you’re thinking, “Jen, if you wanted to keep this anonymous then you probably shouldn’t have titled your blog ‘Jennifer Cooling | The sights and blah blah blah…’ either” and that, dear reader, is why you are much smarter than me! It’s not that I’m ashamed of my goings on, at least I am none of the following;

alcoholic, workaholic, sexaholic, commitment-phobic, peeping tom, megalomaniac, emotional fuckwit, or pervert.

(Those of you who are observant will have noticed that the above list is liberated from Bridget Jones’ Diary, those of you who are not should go and watch Bridget Jones’ Diary. Now.)

Anyway my point is tha,t for all my modern woman style gumption, I just can’t bring myself to be too honest with the people that I care for. By and large I have nothing bad to say about any of my friends and family, they’re good eggs every one of them, but that doesn’t stop me thinking things privately which I wouldn’t dream of saying to their faces (or their computer screens). Mostly this is because I have always had to contend with the awkward-as-arse combination of a short temper and sharp tongue. Yes, it’s blogging gold sometimes but it’s a killer in the personal relationship department. More importantly, for the most part, I do not believe that complex human relationships can be accurately represented in a 600 word blog post; taken out of context and presented from my

ever so slightly sarcastic view point they can become bitter, petty diatribes and that’s really not my thing… honest.

So instead I choose to share the positives as much as possible and leave the negatives for subjects which we can all appreciate, these times are tough enough for us all without turning on each other! I’m taking this philosophy with all of my social media accounts too and have started to subtly remove people from my friends/followers who are constantly whining, complaining and getting angry at the world and, worse than that, at individuals. I refuse to allow negative people, who insist on dragging others down with them, the air time which social media has given everyone.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not angel and certainly wont make it to the end of 2012 without saying something negative (and by end of 2012 I clearly mean end of the week) but I’m going to try my hardest to remove negativity from my life whenever I can, choosing not to take it in or put it out into the world.

So here’s to staying positive, sticking together and remembering that mother is always watching!