I would have rather the whole thing take place inside of a snow globe. Dexter ended its eighth and final season tonight in stunningly horrid fashion. The whole season was a lackluster mess, devoid of compelling storylines or really any reason to warrant its existence. Tonight it limped across the finish line weighed down by many of the problems it showcased this season; laughable writing, poor characterization, and unbelievably bad plotting. Tonight the series didn’t conclude so much as it just shrugged and kind of gave up.

Of all the possible endings, the writers created one of the most boring ones imaginable. Having to watch this show after Breaking Bad only amplifies its problems. To see how Breaking Bad actually devises a plan of where the story is going and how it spends its final moments utilizing every minute only further proves how Dexter sat around doing the opposite. They squandered an opportunity to create a memorable ending of a show that many people followed feverishly for quite some time, if you truly loved this show back in the Trinity Killer days, you should have been offended tonight.

Tonight was just completely anti-climactic. Saxon was killed with a ballpoint pen. Elway was thwarted with a tranquilizer to the leg. Deb didn’t die from her gunshot, or Saxon enacted revenge, but from a blood clot. It was all completely underwhelming. Seriously, wouldn’t you have rather had Deb die from being randomly shot last week? I mean, that was a stupid cliffhanger to begin with, but it makes more sense and is a bigger risk then conveniently bringing her back to health just so Dexter can say goodbye. They bring her back to life just to waste some time and then kill her to suck up more time. She dies so randomly with little to no fanfare, and finally Dexter realizes he’s selfish and ruins lives. He didn’t come to this realization when he had LaGuerta murdered, when Doakes was killed, or even tonight when he closed an airport with a fake bomb threat. Dexter has been the most selfish character on television but his writers have characters around him say things like, “I don’t want you to blame yourself,” and, “you were meant to go be happy,” because no one ever calls Dexter on his bullshit. I mean, the guy decides to abandon Hannah and his son to “protect them,” but that seems selfish in itself as well.

Dexter sails off into a storm and his boat is wrecked, a pseudo-suicide and an easy ending. It didn’t sit well with me, but then they proceeded to make it worse by Dexter still being alive working in a wood yard? What’s the point in showing us that he’s still alive? Oh, and how did Dexter get out of a police department after just murdering a high profile suspect? This was the guy Dexter just had to stay and get, and instead of one final moment in a kill room, Dexter just nonchalantly stabs him with a pen. An unceremonious ending to a villain that made little impression. I have more issues, like how did Dexter steal a body out of the hospital that was under high protection? How does nobody notice that Debra Morgan has gone missing?