California, you don’t know what you’re missing.

Sure, as a state you have sunshine, wine country, majestic redwood forests, Disneyland, breathtaking views from the Pacific Coast Highway (pause for a deep gulp of air), Big Sur, world-class restaurants, Hollywood, great street food, the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Santa Monica Pier.

But you (apparently) don’t have the one condiment that has spread across the state of Indiana: the combination of spicy salsa and cool ranch dressing popular at the Tex-Mex chain Hacienda. And if Seema Mehta, a political writer for the Los Angeles Times, is to be believed, you as a state would rather dismantle the presidential candidacy of South Bend, Ind., Mayor Pete Buttigieg than endure one chip full of the noxious condiment, a mad fusion of Southwest and Midwest.

[Kranch is the latest condiment mash-up we didn’t need]

When the moderator at a Detroit rally on Sunday asked Buttigieg (based on audience questions) if he ever mixes salsa with ranch, like regulars do at Hacienda, the presidential hopeful said that while he’s a “purist,” he enjoys the combination “under certain circumstances.” Those “circumstances” appear to be when someone else actually blends the two sauces, thereby freeing Buttigieg from any personal responsibility for concocting the dip, but not from taking advantage of a dining partner’s seemingly lesser tastes.

Despite Buttigieg’s carefully worded answer, Mehta suggested he may have lost the state of California due to his soft support of the Frankendip.

Buttigieg may have just lost California. Asked if he eats salsa mixed with ranch dressing, he said that while he is a “purist,” he will partake in the combo “under certain circumstances” if someone else has prepared. — Seema (@LATSeema) July 28, 2019

The Twitter dogpile soon followed.

I have never heard of this foulness. Starting to think we deserve what’s happening to our nation. — Helen Kennedy (@HelenKennedy) July 29, 2019

Ranch dressing shouldn't be in the same building as salsa. Ever. — Bob Beamesderfer (@key2thehighway) July 28, 2019

To his credit, Buttigieg has not shied away from this condiment controversy. He has stepped right back into the line of fire to face more tough media questions on the subject. Two days after the Decimation in Detroit, he was right back in front of a cellphone camera to clarify his stance (although I can’t help but notice that the tip of his tongue looks to be pressing against his cheek).

“I didn’t realize this would become one of my most controversial statements,” Buttigieg started.

“You got to understand where I come from we’re not purists about these things,” he continued. “Obviously, salsa is salsa and ranch is ranch. If somebody’s going to mix them up, I’m not above dipping a tortilla chip in that and enjoying the mix of flavors. I don’t think anybody should be doctrinaire about that unless they’ve actually experienced it. I’m not saying it should replace the traditional uses of both ranch and salsa. I’m just saying that we can expand our horizons a little bit and you’d be surprised.”

Buttigieg weighs in on mixing salsa and ranch: don’t be “doctrinaire” unless you’ve tried it. pic.twitter.com/ObAodsf0MW — Seema (@LATSeema) July 30, 2019

Within days, this became a national issue. YouGov polled 1,416 adults across the United States to find out if they have, or ever would, eat salsa mixed with ranch dressing. A whopping 43 percent of respondents said they had never tried the combination and never would. Only 16 percent said they had previously tried the fusion dip and would eat it again. Another 20 percent said they had never sampled the spread but would give it a shot in the future.

Then there was the 17 percent of respondents who didn’t know if they had ever tried the condiment, presumably because they were three margaritas in when surveyed.

The surveys and snarky tweets are fine, but we at Post Food HQ wanted to put the combination to the test. But first I talked to a helpful Hacienda employee in South Bend who said customers are given bowls of each condiment (both made in house, by the way), and they decide how much ranch to add to the salsa (or vice versa).

[Pizza-flavored ranch dressing is excessive — just the way we like it]

“You can mix it however you want,” said the employee, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because she was not authorized to talk to the media. “Me personally, I like more ranch.”

For our taste test, we didn’t make the condiments but instead purchased a bottle of Hidden Valley ranch dressing and a jar of Frontera jalapeno-cilantro salsa, which is in the ballpark of medium-hot. We filled several bowls with ranch dressing and added varying amounts of salsa to each, so that they ranged in color from creamy pink to a milky crimson. Then we proceeded to dip chips.

And dip more chips. And more chips.

“What’s not to like?” asked one taster.

It was a good question. The buttermilk introduced a touch of creaminess and tartness to the mixture, while the salsa added spice and more acid via two separate vinegars. Your palate immediately embraces the flavors, as if they were hard-wired somewhere deep in your brain. And maybe they are? I mean, the Midwest does not have a lock on a condiment that combines creaminess, sweetness, acid and a varying degree of spice. New York has Buffalo sauce, the South has comeback sauce, and certain parts of the West have a pungent version of fry sauce. I suspect a Californian or two has even enjoyed a squirt of Sriracha mayo from time to time.

The question isn’t whether the combination is good or not. (It is.) It’s what should we call this fusion of ranch and salsa? Salsanch? Nah, that sounds like the name of a subdivision in Rancho Cucamonga where Sasquatch bought a split-level. Ralsa? No, that sounds like a skin disease.

How about Pete’s Comeback Sauce? Or Buttijudgment Sauce? Or . . . well, you can take it from here.

Correction: An earlier version of this story stated that Seema Mehta, a political writer for the Los Angeles Times, had asked Pete Buttigieg if he ever mixes ranch and salsa. A moderator at the rally actually posed the question based on those submitted by audience members.

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