A giant boycott is scheduled to go down next Tuesday in Washington, D.C. Rising gas prices? Nope. Iraq war? Nah. A woman named Little Doris? Ding, ding.

Turns out Doris is a beloved member of the cafeteria staff at the Longworth House Office Building. According to an email circulating among House staffers, Doris was suspended without pay for being $9 short on her register. The government loses billions all the time and she's being jacked up for losing $9!