(This is a bit of an experimental post taking humor at parenting, expressing it in ways you normally wouldn’t think. If you like this let me know!)

This month we celebrate the update of version 5.6 of our Child release. Like most other instances of Child this release continues to grow by leaps and bounds, and sometimes a few stumbles along the way.

Version 5.6 continues to improve read and write functions. Debugging this has been challenging as we find lingering data present from previous input that, due to the self-adapting nature of Child’s decision algorithms, seems to corrupt new input and output. The continuous forced data input from the Kindergarten data set seems to be causing a problem in these algorithms, often crashing the self-learning module and instead attempting to fail over to the play module. We’ve attempted to write a redirect from the play back to self-learning module but this only resulted in getting some very undesired negative messages back from Child as a result. So while we attempt to improve the debugging here we will allow calls to the play module.

We’re seeing similar behaviors in speech recognition and response logic. The early decisions by the parent corporation to simultaneously introduce I/O in two separate languages appears to confuse the Child self-learning module, causing leaks in data from each language to spill into the other. Despite this Child 5.6 has made tremendous progress in the second language, far better than it’s predecessor Dad release.

In addition a new subprocedure has appeared. We can see calls to something called fartjoke but are unable to, at least so far, determine the calling points through a stack trace. Probably would help if we could trace the code step by step but that’s a well-known lacking feature in the Child. Based on research of other Child instances that have reached higher versions we believe fartjoke will remain but likely be called less as new code is developed and introduced into production by the Child intelligence algorithms.

Version 5.6 is also due for some decent upgrades in storage and physical protection layers due to self-replication, especially layers that allow partial and/or full immersion into liquid cooling. Speeds are continually being increased to keep maximum performance. Overheating and power conservation are still important.

Lastly Child v5.6 is starting to, as part of its intelligence realization, question why it is alone. The parent corporation is currently in early talks considering the introduction of a second instance. The benefit of that would be that the first Child should be, in theory, capable of independently assisting the second instance in many tasks. If approved the project will be initiated and hopefully move quickly into the conception phase.