Scotts meeting political analysis

January 27, 2732



This is Brad Lockjaw, for ESNN, with a hard-hitting report from the ESC Board meeting earlier this month on Pembroke Station promenade, near the JSF offices.



The ESC Board sought to allay public concerns after the brutal murder of Vanessa Scotts, a well-liked member of the Guinterin security forces. Also, she was quite a looker; have you seen her file photo? It's always a tragedy when someone hot dies.



Barnabas White, Director of Investor Relations for the ESC Board, was clearly uncomfortable in the role of speaking directly to the general public, although he acquitted himself well enough. The Board is seeking a new Director of Public Relations, in anticipation of further public Board events.



One moment of excitement in an otherwise dull meeting was when Diana Cabrera herself, 'Savior of Inferno' and 'Investigator of the Year', arrived. She didn't announce herself, but she didn't have to; all eyes were turned on her the moment she walked in, although those in the front of promenade couldn't see her over the backs of the others.



Barnabas White, after announcing the latest progress in the Scotts murder investigation, then announced that he was taking questions by tightbeam.



The first question was whether or not Diana Cabrera was as amazing in person. Mr. White declined to answer this question, to the disappointment of all watching the meeting, instead referring it to Ms. Cabrera.



Other questions he answered included whether or not Kilrathi consider us delicious (it varies on the individual Kilrathi), whether the New Zurich relocation plan will be repeated in other places (Vespus is a unique case), whether New Zurich is truly safe from the 'rogue' Kilrathi (Kilrathi have been evicted from Vespus, and will not be allowed to return for the time being, with the assumption that all are under suspicion until the investigation has completed), whether the Commonwealth has raised concerns in diplomatic channels (the Commonwealth understands the Consortium's legitimate security concerns), whether Ka nar Zaga will be compensated for losses if it proves to be a legitimate business after all (this is open to arbitration proceedings), will Kilrathi be protected from anti-Kilrathi groups (the Kilrathi can take care of their own), and that Vanessa Scotts WILL have justice. As a human being, I certainly rest easier at night knowing the ESC is looking out for me against these murderous Kilrathi cannibals.



(Lockjaw pauses.)



I'm being reminded that they aren't actually cannibals if they're just eating humans. I apologize to our viewers for the inaccuracy.



Finally, Mr. White was asked to reveal Katie Kilometer's personal comm handle. He declined to disclose it, but I've got her on speed dial, and I'm happy to share with--I'm being told I can't do that on a public broadcast.



This concludes my hard-hitting political analysis of the ESC Board meeting. Next up, celebrity gossip: Woman claims to be secretly married to Karl von Sprechen!