When I was little(12 yo), I was in the ER after being sent from my pediatricians for an asthma attack that wasn’t responding to medication. As I’m in the room with serious SOB, there’s a woman with a ‘headache on the left side’ demanding treatment ahead of everyone else because she had a meeting to get to. I am so dizzy from lack of oxygen that I run out of the room (I noticed a restroom when we walked in) and throw up. I was immediately admitted and given oxygen after that. From my room I could hear her screaming about “That brat just pukes and she gets admitted when I’ve been here for twenty minutes?” and then she storms out. TARD.

Actual text from triage assessment: “Pt states she accidentally poured Ajax dish detergent on her pancakes instead of syrup. Pt states she rinsed her mouth out several times but still wants to be checked.”

Male patient comes to the ER complaining that he hasn’t been able to make much urine. Patient also complains that he is having severe abdominal and pelvic pressure. Upon assessing the patient he looks to be very distended. The patient begins to tell a nurse and myself how it got so bad last night that he went to the garage and retrieved an extension cord. Not elaborating we asked what he did with that extension cord to which he replied… ” I took the wire out of the middle and pushed the cord up my penis to get something to come out.” In disbelief I asked did it work? He said nothing and just stared at me . Of course it didn’t work he wouldn’t be here if it did.