The LEGO Group today announced that Hot Dog Man, the breakout star of Minifigures Series 13 will now be accepted as legal tender in stores around the world. The move was a response to Hot Dog Man’s evolution from simple LEGO minifigure to hotly contested commodity among AFOLs (Adult Fans of LEGO).

Scalpers will now be able to exchange Hot Dog Men for goods and services at retailers across the country that carry LEGO products. The Hot Dog Man to Australian Dollar (AUD/HDM) exchange rate is currently trending in the region of 10.2. FX strategists have speculated that the exchange rate will continue to strengthen in Hot Dog Man’s favour, blaming increasing commodity prices on rising demand from desperate Minifigure Collectors.

The LEGO Group’s head of finance, Brad Wurst, said “Hot Dog Man’s unprecedented rise in value caused a shift in the way Billund viewed the minifigure. In today’s volatile financial landscape, The LEGO Group cannot afford to be slow to adapt to market demands. Expect The LEGO Group to report our FY16 earnings in Hot Dog Men, instead of DKK (Danish Krone).”

“There is no stopping Hot Dog Man.” warned Mr. Wurst.

Hot Dog Man’s meteoric rise as a commodity can be attributed to rampant trading on Australian LEGO trading Facebook Group “LEGO Purchase/Peddle/Exchange Australia” which saw hundreds of speculators using Hot Dog Man as leverage to obtain other rare LEGO sets or minifigures. Like other globally recognized commodities like Gold ($1284.26/OZ) and Iron Ore ($US66.79/metric ton), LEGO fans began to realize that Hot Dog Man’s scarcity and popularity could be utilised in other means.

“This move is fantastic! I can’t wait to use my Hot Dog Men to buy groceries, a movie ticket or a slab of VB. Prior to this, I was only able to trade Hot Dog Men for other minifigures which was great for my hobby but couldn’t contribute much to my own life”, said unemployed AFOL Richard Kranzky.

“I have all the time in the world to go around different toy stores to feel for Hot Dog Men and I have gotten very good at it. Now that Hot Dog Men is legal tender, I could probably turn this into a fulfilling career”, added a very cheerful Mr. Kranzky.

An investigation by Jay’s Brick Blog journalists revealed that boxes of Series 13 Minifigures at Myer Emporium had all been rummaged and searched for Hot Dog Men. The LEGO Group’s announcement has sent shockwaves among the Australian LEGO community, stirring average hobbyists into a frenzied nationwide search for the elusive Minifigure.

With only 3 Hot Dog Men per sealed box of Series 13 minifigures, experts are cautioning fans about a potential worldwide shortage of Hot Dog Men. Sustainability strategists are urging scalpers to leave Hot Dog Man behind, issuing a warning that the delicate ecosystem of complete Series 13 sets could go extinct if wanton Hot Dog Man harvesting is allowed to continue unchecked.

News of Hot Dog Man’s rising index prices have spread outwards from the insular LEGO community – financial analysts, hedge funds and currency speculators are all eager to get a piece of this lucrative ABS plastic pie, despite having limited knowledge about LEGO collecting and speculation.

“Winner Ventures is planning to invest AU$50 million in Hot Dog Man Options, with an additional AU$100 million in financing available if the market continues to boom. We are confident in our ability to predict robust market trends and in our capacity to increase our market share in the Hot Dog Man market”, revealed Sally May, Vice President of Risk Management at Winner Ventures.

“We see Hot Dog Man as the next Bitcoin. We simply cannot afford to pass up such a lucrative opportunity”, added Ms. May.

This is obviously satire. Names have been made up. Please do not attempt to use Hot Dog Man as currency at your local supermarket.