Raised a good Catholic boy I’ve inherited an overbearing sense of guilt. In a lot of ways it has been practical. I remember on our way to Disneyland from the airport an attendant moved our bags from the gate to the taxi and I had noticed he had a 5 dollar bill attached to the cart. At the time it was jaw dropping amount of money and the first wonderful thing Disney had to offer so I swiped it. A few minutes later the attendant noticed it was gone and asked if someone had taken or seen it. At that moment I realized I had done something very wrong and that I was about to feel the wrath of the divine powers of my father. I don’t mean a deity or anything like that but literally my dad and potentially his belt. I tried to hide my face of guilt but I knew that they knew I had taken it. I slowly looked at them and pulled the crumpled up and sweaty Lincoln from my pocket and presented it with an open palm. It’s a moment I’ll never forget because it is the true north of my guilt.

Unfortunately it seems that the same sense of guilt can hijack the mind and make you feel a similar way over things you don’t really have a control over. My dad is a bit of a modern day mystic to describe him politely. He has this belief that he’s special and that his actions are more influencial than anybody else’s, if you’ve ever heard of The Secret its something like that only dressed up in an old Cuban Fedora with Big Dad Energy. “Mira chico, Cuencas control everything, tu tienes un empirio!” My dad once told me I had an empire in a sincere way like he was the head of the mob. My dad’s thoughts play on repeat in my head like an old tape player that has a tape stuck in it. I have a constant battle between the practical understanding that sometimes things happen that are out of my control and some weird voodoo mysticism that maybe, just maybe, he’s right.

This bleeds into the end of Star Wars Destiny in a very real way for me. At this moment you are reading this and probably thinking that I’m a loon which is fair but me knowing that people are reading this gives me non-zero influence. This outreach could if used more maybe, just maybe, could have saved Star Wars Destiny.

More videos, visits to my local shop, articles, etc could have prevented the current state of affairs – is what the old Cuban mystic says. In college I learned about a what psychologists call a person’s Locus of Control which is the degree to which people feel that they have control over the events that influence their lives- internal means you’re Palpatine with complete control over the senate and external means you are Youngling about to get mowed down by Darth Vader. I’ve always had a strong internal LoC, when I could I would blame myself for things since it’s empowering to do so, although as I’ve aged I realize that time makes fools of us all.

I wanted to write this because it’s been on my mind – I briefly talked about it on our last podcast and was quickly dismissed by my more sane partners. I could have written another article about new cards that have yet to be released (I’ll get back to that next week) but I wanted you to know that if you feel even a little bit of the same way about the end of Destiny you are not alone. If you love Star Wars Destiny and the community know that the end of its publication is not your fault.

-NJCuenca