But the Symbol Actually Means:

A vicious dog that corners you and devours you alive.

A capital management firm works by finding companies that should be doing really well but aren't and then injecting them with some cash so that they can really shoot for the stars. At their best, they're like the gigantic corporate version of Mr. Miyagi, teaching you some "car-wax techniques" and "badass fight moves" (financial stability and investment smarts, respectively) so you can hold your own against the "local bully" (tumultuous economic climate). At their worst, they're like a gigantic three-headed dog that traps you on one side of a river and threatens to eat you alive if you ever try to escape.

Via Wikipedia

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Cerberus Capital chose its name because the founder wanted to invoke the image of guarding his clients' funds. But the mythological dog is definitely best known for eating people alive and trapping them in a place they don't want to be (Hades) -- exactly the opposite of what a burgeoning company wants their new partner to do, unless that's somehow their business model.

We'd make a joke about Cerberus being an evil shadowy cabal, but founder Steve Feinberg already beat us to the punch with this comment:

"We try to hide ... If anyone at Cerberus has his picture in the paper and a picture of his apartment, we will do more than fire that person. We will kill him. The jail sentence will be worth it."

Via Wikipedia

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Yeah. We'll just leave that up there all by itself.

J.F. Sargent Tumbles, Tweets and is the managing editor of Pculpa.com.

For more ridiculous backstories you need to know, check out The 7 Most WTF Origins of Iconic Pop Culture Franchises. Or check out why Hollywood knows better, but still doesn't give a shit in 5 Old-Timey Prejudices That Still Show Up in Every Movie.

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Imagine being trapped aboard the doomed Titanic on an icy Atlantic. . . with the walking dead. Check out Chris Pauls and Matt Solomon's Deck Z: The Titanic.