This Lent, radio host and writer Xorje Olivares is speaking with fellow LGBTQ+ faithful to learn more about how they're queering their beliefs.

It was at a school dance at Long Island’s St. John the Baptist High School that a then-15-year-old Jay Malsky decided to tell someone he was gay for the first time. It was the female classmate he was “sort of dating,” and her response was immediate and frank: Go talk to the school chaplain.

Their conversation was the opposite of what you might expect: Malsky says the clergyman reassured him that God made him gay and loved him regardless. It wasn’t too surprising considering the pastor ran the school’s gay support group. And yes, we’re talking about a Catholic parochial school in the early 2000s and a kid in his mid-teens.

Since then, the Bellport, New York native says his ride toward full self-acceptance as a queer man who happens to be Catholic has been mostly smooth. Today, Malsky is embarking on his fifth year living in New York City as both a drag comedian and the leader of his church’s LGBTQ+ ministry. Inclusive groups like the one Malsky leads are incredibly scarce nationwide, and are often viewed with contempt by traditionalists who fear LGBTQ+ Catholics are somehow debasing their shared religion. A few “devout” conservatives have even written about Malsky online and criticized him for his professional persona, referring to him as “a homosexual drag queen performer who openly celebrates sodomy in obscenity-laden posts on his Twitter feed.” (If that doesn’t convince you Malsky is fun to hang with, I don’t know what will.)

them. spoke with Malsky about finding faith in drag, discovering a new spiritual home, and wanting to hear something quite specific from God during uncertain cultural times.

What was your church-going experience like post-coming out?

I definitely had trouble finding places since I was traveling a lot. Before I moved to New York City, I was in D.C. and in Florida. Those ten years were tough since I never found a home in a church. None were very open nor did any have LGBTQ+ groups. In fact, one Florida parish approached me to be in the Knights of Columbus, and I had to say, ‘no, thank you.’ Being around older men might be sort of a dream now, but it was very odd then. I definitely got an eye-opening experience of what the Catholic Church is like around the country.

Tell me a bit about the progressive parish you attend and volunteer with now.

The church is St. Francis de Sales, and it was the first one I went to when I moved into New York City’s Upper East Side neighborhood. I was overwhelmed by the amount of openness and diversity; it was just all around. I thought this is the kind of parish I want to belong to. I heard they were trying to start an LGBTQ+ group, and so I went to a meeting. By the next month, I was in charge of the group and have been ever since! We meet every month to have food and fun and to catch up on everyone’s life. Some of our big events include sponsoring a Mardi Gras comedy night on the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday where we raise a bunch of money for Catholic relief services. Around the holidays, we have a fundraiser for the Ali Forney Center, which helps LGBTQ+ homeless teens. And we usually march in the Pride Parade with other LGBTQ+ Catholic groups. I just want to spread the word that we’re a place you can exist in your faith and enjoy your values.