They All Offered

Dear Diary:

On June 13, 2018, eight months pregnant with my first child, I rode the subway four times.

On my way to work at 9:45 a.m., a man on an uptown R closed the mystery novel he was reading and stood up.

“Please take my seat,” he said.

A woman with damp hair made eye contact with me.

“Seat?” she mouthed.

A man with enormous headphones and enormous sweatpants widened his eyes as if to say, “I see you” and began to stand.

I thanked each of them, but declined their offers. I was only going three stops.

There was more of the same on my way to and from a doctor’s appointment later that afternoon: eye contact and gestures from a teenage girl in a school uniform, two men in suits, an older man with a robust mustache and a woman with extravagant nails playing a casino game on her phone.

I declined each offer again. It was just two stops each way.

At 6:45 p.m., I waited on a crowded platform at the 49th Street station, ignoring the humidity and the smells of the subway.

A downtown W arrived and the doors opened. As I shuffled onto the train, I felt a hand on my elbow. A woman in a skirt suit with bags on her lap and earbuds in smiled at me and stood up.

I nodded in appreciation. I was ready to sit.

— Alexis Anzelone Allen