Analysts will tell you that Glenn Braggs was a decent, if not particularly great, ballplayer, worth 7.7 WAR over 2609 major-league plate appearances. Scouts — like, if you went back to 1983 or whatever — scouts would tell you that they thought highly of Braggs’ tools and physique. The present author would speak highly of Braggs’ coiffure and note that, while one wouldn’t necessarily set one’s watch to such a haircut, one could certainly admire it as a product of design and industry.

All of us, however, would be forced to agree that, Glenn Braggs broke an effing bat across his own muscled back and then recounted the salient details of that episode for Mike Sola and Mike Sola’s mustache.