By Ben Pugh

"Rectal foreign bodies" are not uncommon in the world of EMS. Whether the result of some bizarre accident, horribly inappropriate dare or sexual misadventure, sometimes an embarrassing trip to the ER is the only way to get to the bottom of things.

The X-ray will provide crucial information in formulating a plan of attack in removing the unwanted occupant. It will also provide everyone on staff with a great story for their next cocktail party.

After scouring the dark recesses of the internet, we present 29 of the most shocking items ever found within the dark recesses of the rectal cavity.

Warning: you cannot unsee these things, and you may be a significantly different person by the time you reach the bottom of this page.

1. Instant Coffee Jar

Good morning! How about a cup of joe?

2. Fly Spray

I'll get that damn fly if it's the last thing I do.



Image courtesy of Dr Frank Gaillard, http://radiopaedia.org/images/767 Image courtesy of Dr Frank Gaillard, Radiopaedia.org

3. Key

And I was embarrassed when I locked my keys in my car.

4. Milk Bottle

Well, you're supposed to have 3 glasses a day.

5. Deodorant

You really need to follow the directions on the can.

6. Egg

He had a hankering for eggs.

7. Egg Beater

Hey, have you seen an egg in here?

8. Cassette Tape

This may be the first cassette tape I've seen in 10 years.

9. Candy Cane

Ya know, for the holidays.

10. Orange

Freshly squeezed.



Case courtesy of Dr Paul Simkin, Case courtesy of Dr Paul Simkin, Radiopaedia.org . From the case Rectal foreign body

11. Eggplant

I see your orange, and I raise you an eggplant.

12. Coke Bottle

Giving new meaning to the Open Happiness Coca Cola slogan.

13. Gas Lighter Refill

Got gas?

14. Zucchini

Don't worry, it's organic.



Case courtesy of Dr Frank Gaillard, Case courtesy of Dr Frank Gaillard, Radiopaedia.org . From the case Intraperitoneal zucchini

15. Barbie

Ken could not be reached for comment.

16. Buzz Lightyear

To infinity and beyond...way beyond.

17. Rubber Fist

When you want to fist bump your spleen.

18. Live Eel

This one's completely messed up. A few drunks "punked" their friend with the old eel-in-bum-prank when he passed out. He died.

19. Pint Glass

Cheers, mate!

20. Bottle and Coat Hanger

Man, I really shouldn't have put that bottle up there. Good thing I have this coat hanger....Dammit!

21. Vibrator and Salad Tongs

Come on, everyone knows that the only tool for a rectal retrieval is salad tongs...Double dammit!

22. Toy Car

This really happened, but was done as a stunt for the Jackass Movie. See the clip below for the doctor's awkward reaction.

23. Cell Phone

Anyone seen a cell charger up in here?

24. Electrical Cord

I guess, technically, it is an outlet.

25. Jar of Peanutbutter

So I was just standing there, making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then...

26. Sunglasses

You think you're so cool with those shades, but you're still an ass to me.

27. Knife

You've heard of sword swallowers, right? It's like that, but circus crowds may never embrace this one.

28. Live Ammo

The story involves a WWII vet who was allegedly trying to relieve his hemorrhoids...by inserting a bullet. (What? Makes total sense). Bomb squad was reportedly called in for ASS-istance (Sorry, I had to).

29. Lightbulb



Scrubs/ABC Studios Scrubs/ABC Studios

The lesson: don't do this...any of this...ever.