The Belgian Army Lion looks less like a lion and more like a Berenstain Bear wearing a flower costume to sell breakfast cereal to small children. Any closet it endorsed would open onto a busted battery recharger and old running shoes instead of the wintry forests of Narnia. There's a reason Belgium is known as Europe's battleground, and that is because Chuckles the Unibrow Lion is unable to discourage other armies from invading.

1 The Brazilian Expeditionary Force



We're gonna guess that's not tobacco.

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The Brazilian Expeditionary Force sent troops to assist the Allied forces during World War II, and as the result of an idea that clearly never made it past the first-draft stage, they decided that their patch should feature a snake smoking a pipe, as if it's about to tell its 12-year-old son where babies come from or locate the source of a counterfeit stream of 10-pound notes in 19th century London.

Brazil's dictator at the time was Getulio Vargas, who was so committed to Brazil's neutrality that he proclaimed, "It's easier for snakes to smoke than for Brazil to join the war." When the war inevitably came to Brazil, the BEF embraced the irony and went with the smoking snake, essentially making their insignia a political cartoon. This is despite the fact that political cartoons are terrible, and any joke that requires a history lesson is about as funny as a St. Jude's commercial.