What’s more, research on children’s play suggests that when we don’t allow our children to engage in so-called risky situations when they must face challenges and make decisions on their own, we rob them of the opportunity to develop self-confidence and risk management skills. In other words, we turn them into easy targets for the predators we are trying to protect them from.

That’s why I always encouraged my son to do things on his own. When he was 3 months old, I let him cry it out, so he could learn to fall asleep without my help. When he was 7, I started letting him stay home alone for increasing amounts of time. And at 9, when he expressed a desire to walk around town on his own, I let him.

None of this was easy for me. Like every parent, I am petrified by the thought of anything happening to my child. The abuse I suffered probably makes me more anxious than most. I know firsthand just how vicious predators can be.

But I also know that the best way I can protect my son from bad people is to let him practice using his own wits to survive. He can do that only if I’m not hovering.

In sending my son off to summer camp, I knew that I was potentially putting him in harm’s way. The job of camp counselor is bound to attract pedophiles. All jobs that put adults in contact with kids do. But because my son had practice in assessing risk and developing self-confidence, I hoped he was more likely to recognize a dangerous situation and get himself out of it. These are survival skills I didn’t have at his age.

Of course, there are no guarantees. Confident and independent kids can get hurt, too. I’m still afraid.

But I decided long ago that my need to quell my anxiety would never trump his need to grow into a self-sufficient adult. So as much as I wanted to snatch my son back before he boarded the plane, I chose to make the same hard decision I’d made every day since he was a baby. I chose to be brave.

And I prayed that the summer would go by fast.