Evelyn is a streak of gold against a pure white backdrop.

You'd have to be an idiot to go outside Citadel Adbar, a.k.a. Dwarven Paradise in Silver Marches Snow Hell, at nightfall, high up on a fortress turret where the biting winds threaten to take pieces of you with them, alone, but I know Evelyn isn't an idiot. I don't like to admit it, but she's not. A ditz, sure-- overzealous, oh, definitely-- but... Not an idiot.

I sit at the top of the stairs of the turret, staring over at her. She's busy looking out at the causeway that leads into the underground city, and she's looking out at the setting sun behind it. Of course she is. The day's last dying light in front of her still manages to catch on her armor, in her clothes' golden filigree, in her golden hair that blows in the wind. In the grey of the tower, the black of the sky, and the white of the snow, she is the only flash of color. She's humming some song that's probably a hymn to Lathander or something, as if tomorrow isn't going to come.

Something in my gut wrenches, and I squeeze my eyes shut and cover my face and think to myself, This is stupid, this is stupid, this isn't going to happen, just-- get up and talk to her.

I take a shallow, cold breath, stand up and-- my foot catches on my robe, and I trip over the top step, and I yell "Shit!" as I fall into the snow.

I scurry to my knees, wiping now-dirty snow off my face and hands and cursing myself, and, when I look up at Evelyn again, she's facing me. And she's crying.

She's not actively crying, but her face is drenched and her eyes are red, and she isn't shivering even though she should be. I guess your body forgets about stuff like that when you're about to--

I swallow.

She looks back out towards the snowy wastes, and her head droops.

I get to my feet, mentally reprimand myself, and walk over to her. I sit down next to her cross-legged so my knee butts into her legs, which she's hugging close to her chest.

I glare out into the sun. "This is stupid," I say, turning to look at her.

She doesn't respond.

"C'mon," I say, "what are we even doing here? We should be-- I dunno, finding a way to fix this! We should be brewing potions or preparing spells or doing research or harassing Rudolph Van Shitcen for more answers, not just-- letting this happen!"

"We are fixing this, Strix."

"No we're not! If we sacrifice you, we're just making a new problem!"

"Strix... This is my destiny. I have to be the light for you and Diath, no matter what it takes. I'm prepared to take what's comin' to me."

"I'm not!" My outburst causes her to look at me, wide-eyed. "I'm not prepared to deal with this, Evelyn! It's not your fault I went and got my plasmas sucked out by a bunch of scummy vampires, it's mine! It's not your fault Diath got hanged, it's my stupid brother's! And maybe also fate or magic on that one, I dunno. Why should you have to make up for it? Why is it your job to die just because some cutter is playing around with some cursed artifact and is making me die again? What, just because you have some holier-than-thou saint of Butthander's blessing in you? That's-- bullshit!"

Evelyn is staring at me, but not in my eyes. "Strix..." She reaches her hand out towards me, and I grab her wrist and look her in the eyes.

"Evelyn, let's--" I lower my voice a bit-- "let's get out of here. Out of Citadel Adbar, out of this realm if we need to-- we can go find this Soul Monger thing and destroy it or whoever's using it together. Evelyn, we've fought werewolf packs and fire giants, we've trapped a genie and a fire primordial and Strahd von-freaking-Zarovich, we've survived Barovia-- we still have twenty days. We can do this. Diath and Paultin too, if they'll come, which they will, because they're just as stupid as we are!"

"Strix..." She guides her hand towards my neck, and, for once, I let her touch me, and she runs her fingers over the bite mark on my neck. It's only once I see and feel the steadiness of her hand that I realize how much I'm shaking, how heavily I'm breathing and how that breath catches in my throat, how tightly-- desperately-- my hand is clenched around her wrist, and how soft her touch is.

And then she kisses me.

The world is a blur of blonde before I come to my senses. When I do, I close my eyes, and I breathe-- through my mouth, accidentally, because, fuck, I'm bad at this, but-- but she lifts her hand to my cheek and caresses it-- Is she caressing me? Oh Gods, is she really kissing me?-- as my hand goes limp on her wrist, and I--

I kiss her back. I feel everything that was tense within me loosen, almost like my guts are falling flat. Her lips are softer than anything I've ever felt in my life and sweeter than anything else I've ever put to my lips, and I almost feel like everything she's said about Lathander makes sense so long as her kiss is involved.

When we pull away, my lips stay open, and I open my eyes to look at her.

The last rays of the sun shine across her, almost through her, and every piece of her, from her eyes to her tear-strewn face to her hair to her clothes, catches it and reflects it out tenfold. She's radiant. She's smiling. She's smiling at me.

"Strix... You're crying."

I recoil a bit. I didn't even notice. But I am.

I squint at her as the tears blur my vision.

And then I bury my face in her neck and throw my arms around her.

"Please," I sob, "don't do this. I'll miss you."

"... You will?"

"Yes! I'll miss you and your sermons about Lathander and your dumb, pretty face and your smile-- I'll miss you, all right? So if you're doing this for me, don't. I'd rather have you here than be..." I cry into her neck and ball my fists in her pretty white robes, and I feel her hand on my back.

"Strix," she says, "dear Strix. Listen to me, now. I'm going to miss you too." I start to speak out against that, but she shushes me and says, "Really, I am. Strix, I admire you. Your intelligence, your talent, the way you always speak your mind, how you'll stand up to anything if it means protecting us."

"That's not true. Remember when I ran away?"

"Remember when you captured that dao when Diath was face down in the snow? Or when you saved us while we were traveling here? Strix, you've grown since Vallaki, and I am so, so proud of you."

I don't know how to handle that, so, instead, I just break down further in her arms, and I stay there as the sun sets. I feel her kiss the top of my head through my wild mess of hair.

"Strix," she says, "You're shivering. Do you want to go inside?"

"No. I don't want to go inside. I don't want time to move at all. Inside is where you're going to die."

"And I'll go into the Light, and from there, I'll watch over you. I promise. Paladins don't break their promises."

"I don't want you to be in the Light. I want you here."

"I know, Strix. I know. C'mon, let's get inside and get you in a blanket."

She stands up and offers me a hand. I take it, and she pulls me up. I fiddle with her fingers and rub my thumb against the back of her hand, and I realize that, oh Gods, I should have been doing this this entire time, and now I'm running out of time, and--

"Thanks, by the way," she says, "for letting me hug you. It meant a lot to me."

I feel myself blush. Wait-- I think I was already blushing. "Y-yeah. Me too."

She smiles and drags me back down the turret and towards Citadel Adbar.

~~~

She holds my hand all the way through the streets of the city.

When we make it back to the inn, Paultin and Diath are still awake, Paultin sitting backwards in a chair with his cheek on his hand, Diath pacing around, Diath occasionally rubbing at the rope burns around his neck, both of them with bloodshot, baggy eyes.

"... What about suggestion?" Diath asks.

"What the Hell do you think I'm going to do with suggestion in this situation? Suggest the world into letting you live?"

"Well, unless you can suggest something better, we have to consider every option we have. There has to be something, something that will work." Diath stops pacing when he sees us enter. He looks at us, then at our joined hands, then at our faces, reddened by cold and tears. We're standing close together, and Evelyn has a soft smile. Paultin looks confused.

"Where've ya been?" Paultin says.

"Out," Evelyn says. She leads me towards her room, passing them on the way.

"Evelyn," Diath says, "look, we're trying to find an alternative method of fixing this mess without resorting to this ritual. We're almost on to something. If you just give us a little more time..."

"It's okay, Diath," she says, "Thank you for worrying about me. You've always been a great leader."

She leads me onwards. As I pass Diath, our eyes meet, and he looks at me with incredulity, then understanding. I swallow and stare at the ground.

Once I'm in Evelyn's room, I set down my staff as Evelyn leads me over to her bed. "Are you okay with cuddling?" she asks.

My heart skips a beat. "I've... Never done it."

She looks back at me. "It's nice. I think it could be good for both of us. Do you wanna try?"

I stare at her. My heart threatens to tear itself out of my chest. I kinda wish it would. I only nod.

She parts the covers, and, when I slip under them, she makes no complaint about the dirtiness of my robe on the cleanness of the sheets. She simply doffs her armor and slips in with me.

It takes me a while to get comfortable, what with my bony limbs and not knowing how we're supposed to connect or where my tail goes or if I'm too close or too far away, but Evelyn has the patience of a saint-- literally-- and, when I finally settle into a position with a huff, she holds me like a teddy bear.

I guess I do the same thing to her. Kinda.

And then she starts humming.

It's the same song she was humming earlier, but I don't really notice the probably-religious-vibe this time. I just notice that it's pretty.

I close my eyes and listen, knowing that I want to remember it forever.