Year(s): 1986-1999

People nvolved: Charles Haley

According to author Jeff Pearlman the "Last Naked Warrior," was a nickname that Charles Haley gave himself. If ever there was a story that truly exemplified locker room insanity, this is it. Haley repeatedly whipped out his erection and jerked off inches from the faces of unsuspecting teammates who initially laughed off the trauma. Because, that has to be a joke, right? If you don't get it, it's because you don't get high art.

Eventually it got to a point where he'd pull it out in front of Golden Great Joe Montana and say "You know you want to suck this." He would even bash his candle to ejaculation in team meetings while talking about his teammates wives.

His penis wasn't the only thing he strangled during film sessions as he choked coach George Siefert in a 1991 transgression that finally seemed to alert the brass. In that same year he pissed on the floor of team president Carmen Policy. Add that to the fact that he got into a physical confrontation with Steve Young, finally, causing him to be traded to an unsuspecting locker room of Dallas Cowboys.

While in Texas, Haley questioned a new teammate in the crudest terms possible by saying "You’re from California? You must be a fucking faggot.” At that point Haley whacked off in front of the man to reaffirm his own heterosexuality.



That being said, all of this must not have been that big a deal because San Francisco reclaimed him after five, much needed, seasons away in 'Big D.' If you're a five-time Pro Bowler then people will find a way to make it work. Even if "making it work," means avoiding eye contact for two straight seasons.