Roy Moore on bench.JPG

Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore in court March 6, 2013. (Bob Gathany / bgathany@al.com)

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Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore has ordered probate judges throughout the state to deny same-sex couples marriage licenses despite a federal court's decision.

So, there's only one question left.

Is it whether gay marriage will happen in Alabama?

Please. Already, almost three quarters of the people in this country live in states where same-sex marriage is legal already. Do you think Alabama is going to suddenly change the minds of federal judges, including the United States Supreme Court which has already all but waved a rainbow-checkered flag at the finish line? If the high court didn't intervene with Florida, it won't for Alabama. Don't be ridiculous.

Can the state say to hell with the federal government and do its own thing?

See: Civil War.

And: Civil Rights Movement.

And also: Pretty Much Every Federal Court Action against Alabama in 150 years.

Will The Apocalypse come?

Maybe one day, but nothing yet. You might see some roadside church signs telling you that this is the sign of the End Times, but let's be real. ISIS is setting people on fire. Which do you think is worse? That or same-sex marriage?

Will Judge Roy Moore be removed from the bench?

Is it whether Moore is doing this for show?

Yes. By which I mean, no. There is no question. He is definitely doing this for show.

Running for governor?

Maybe, but he tried that once already, and he lost.

Nope, there is only one question left for me.

Is he a gay?

I'm sorry, but think about it. No really. At least Google it. How many politicians who have stomped their feet over this issue turned out to be ... sexually bipartisan? There have been many.

What's one Moore?