I will never forget the grayscale, slow-motion embarrassment of buying a bag of milk and trying to pour it into a jar lest it spill all over the fridge. Milk in bags in bullshit. Countries like Canada and Argentina—where I spent my February in Buenos Aires—beg to differ. So does Chuck Tingle.

The erotic ebook king called on Target to assist him in buying four bags of chocolate milk. The real caveat? He had to do so clandestinely. The complicated author, doctor, and martial artist known for such works as Pounded in the Butt by my Hugo Award Loss didn’t want his son, Jon, to know about the purchase.

Tingle took to the company’s Facebook page to state his case.