LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

While inspecting a rental property in the ruff n’ ragged Betoota Ponds district, property agent Billy ‘Bulldog’ Hodgson noted how incredibly impressed he was by the well-hidden bongs in the dilapidated fibro shack.

Waiting until he was invited in before entering, Bulldog began following his nose, ignoring the Blue Tac on the walls and innumerably stained carpet, looking for a smoking bong that would see his agency pocket the bond almost half of the tenants have gone in for.

Although a seasoned veteran when it comes to finding damning paraphernalia that will legally screw over the working class, Billy Bulldog’s bong-scan of the rental property failed to turn up even one blackened paper clip.

“This is great,” stated Hodgson.

“I actually have no idea where the bongs are this time. Last tenants just left them on the kitchen counter. This is a real challenge.”

Determined to find any sign of illegal activity, Bulldog stepped into the backyard to examine the hosepipe which he then remembered was hacked to the tap by the previous tenants.

Finishing his job, Bulldog jotted down the roughly 50 maintenance requests on the back of a receipt he accidentally left on the kitchen counter and left after quickly checking the recycling bin for tainted Orchy bottles.

“Wow. They got me. I’m honestly impressed.”