Hurled accusations. Slamming doors. The silent treatment.

So goes a classic exchange between a mother and her teenage daughter.

The most consistently fraught relationship among relatives is the mother-teenage daughter bond, therapists and family-dynamic experts say. The crux of the problem: A mother often sees her daughter as an extension of herself, while the teen is trying to develop her own independence and individuality.

A mother sometimes identifies much more closely with a daughter than a son, both physically and emotionally, experts say. She wants to protect her daughter from making the same mistakes she’s made. She wants to give her daughter opportunities she never had. She wants her daughter to like—and to be like—her.

Typically, an adolescent daughter wants none of this. She’s trying to separate from her mom, and she sees the protection as controlling. And she may view her mom’s attempted guidance as criticism or disapproval.