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It's not easy to be a Eurovision fan in Britain. As if watching the home team crash and burn year after year wasn't painful enough, we also have to endure the annual round of tired arguments as to why there's no point competing in the first place, since the odds are apparently stacked against us.

It's little wonder our leading pop stars won't touch the thing with a barge pole, forcing whichever poor intern the BBC places in charge of sourcing a representative to plough through the Top of the Pops archives in the hope of finding a soul brave or foolhardy enough to go forth into the breach. "IS SAM FOX BUSY?" we can imagine him crying, foetal with terror as the deadline looms and the telephone clicks of uninterested agents transform into the clanging chimes of career doom.

But is the UK really fighting a losing battle in a contest that should have been tossed on to the scrapheap back when the Berlin Wall came down? Here are the most common myths surrounding Eurovision Song Contest. I respectfully suggest that, on the whole, they're complete cobblers.

Myth one: 'Eastern Europe has hijacked the contest'

By far the most common argument against the Eurovision Song Contest is that it isn't really about the songs at all, but about which country – usually from eastern Europe – has the largest number of friendly neighbours. Yet even a cursory look at the contest's recent history exposes the fatal flaw in this argument. In the past decade, we've had winners from Sweden, Azerbaijan, Germany, Norway, Russia, Serbia, Finland, Greece, Ukraine and Turkey – an even spread, all things considered.

Myth two: 'Everyone just votes for their neighbours'

Well, yes and no. It's true that Greece routinely awards top marks to Cyprus, and Bosnia tends to throw a few points Croatia's way, but it has very little to do with mindless loyalty and a lot to do with shared culture. A big star in Sweden is likely to be a big star in Norway. The popular sounds of Lithuania can probably be heard on Radio Latvia. Incidentally, this is the main reason a few annual pity points from Ireland tend to at least keep our own scores in double figures (Jemini notwithstanding). The simple fact is that with around 40 nations voting, no country has enough neighbours to triumph on location alone. If they did, the same country would win every year. Ultimately the song with the broadest appeal is almost always the one that triumphs.

Myth three: 'It's all about the gimmicks'

A great stage gimmick can certainly make a song stick in the audience's mind, but if that song doesn't stand up on its own, it usually won't go the distance. Witness last year, when the much-hyped Russian grannies lost out to Sweden's Loreen, whose "gimmick" consisted of standing alone on stage and singing a really good, modern pop song, excellently.

Myth four: 'Everyone hates the UK'

We Brits love a good victim complex. Our entrants of recent years have included Andy Abraham, Scooch and Josh Dubovie, but of course the real reason nobody votes for us is because we invaded Iraq. Yet our recent-ish performances haven't been an exercise in total futility. Jade Ewen scored a credible fifth place in 2009, and Jessica Garlick came third in 2002. Their entries weren't even exceptional; they were just solid songs, performed well. The bitter pill for the UK at Eurovision is that we tend to do exactly as well as we deserve to. If we want to do better, we have to be better.

Myth five: 'The songs are all terrible'

This is entirely a matter of personal opinion. However, the sheer variety of musical styles on display makes it questionable that anybody with an open mind would find the show completely without merit. Where else are you going to hear Croatian klapa, French blues, Montenegrin rap, Norwegian electro and Macedonian gypsy music, all in one prime time BBC1 show? Open your ears, listen without prejudice and you might just be surprised.

The Eurovision Song Contest semi-finals begin tonight on BBC3 at 8pm