Follow these easy steps to get rid of the losing mentality and turn your losses into wins

by Jenny Truman Sports Performance and Mental Skills Coach

“I don’t know what to do – the pain of losing”

Gazza cried, Novotna sobbed into the Duchess of Kent’s shoulder and Faldo commiserated with Norman after his infamous choke at the 1996 Masters : He said “I don’t know what to say .. I just want to give you a hug” The two men then began to cry

Losing is tough. Forget the well intentioned ‘it’s the taking part that counts’. That doesn’t cut it when you are a professional sports person or competitive amateur. What do you do when you lose? is it is a sea of dark and gut wrenching thoughts of “why did I” “if only I had’ ?There is a better way : read on.

That annoying cliché ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’

It is the last thing you want to hear when you see that hard earned prize falling from your grasp. It’s not something I would glibly say to my clients when they are winded with disappointment either. But there is a half truth there. Losing can make you stronger BUT only when you respond to it in the right way. If you don’t, losing not only set up heavy negative beliefs but it can put you off the sport completely. But when responded to in the right way, losing can improve your game and your mental approach.

But please note Note – this strategy is something for after the competition. Before the competition , the focus is on performing well not thinking about losing!

Do you hate to lose or are you frightened to lose

Hating to lose will motivate you to practise more. Fearing to lose will harm your performance and eventually your sanity.

If we are not careful the desire to win is over shadowed by the relief we didn’t lose. Some sports people I have coached have said their overriding feeling in the past when they won a competition was relief that they didn’t lose. This is when the joy goes out of sport .

Boris Becker said “to play as if your life were to end at the end of a match if you lost , with no morning after … is devastating” This thinking took it’s toll on him so how did he shake it off. Easy - he changed his attitude towards losing

Focus on the process not the prize.