#195 "Four Good Friends"

P.S. (breaking news)

From the A.P. news feed this afternoon: "China has declared war on the United States after President Trump tweeted this morning that fireworks were invented in Alabama in 1776, and that noodles were first created from acorn flour in Appalachia around 1859. President Trump refused to apologize for the insults.



The loss of face was so great for the Chinese, that they had no choice but to send their single aircraft carrier—the Liaoning—towards American bases in The Phillipines. The Liaoning was destroyed promptly, causing a deeper loss of face, and a promise from the Chinese to activate all malware and viruses that were inserted into American smartphones and computers during manufacturing in China. Already, smart phones across America have been rendered unusable as they show just a single image of a panda holding a piece of bamboo between its legs with a caption below that reads 'suck our collective ramen, America'.



President Trump tweeted a retaliatory tweet saying 'just ate me some General Tsao chicken—invented by an old college buddy of mine while tripping on 'shrooms in the 60's #GTChickenIsAmerican'."

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