So I got stuck with a sniveling muggle for my reddit exchange.

They thought they could appease me with some new parchment (perhaps made of low-grade parchment meant for the backside of a troll.) Next a few feather-quills, probably plucked from the wings of a sorry excuse of a griffon. At least the muggle thought to send ink so I could write my hate mail for them later. They also included a book full of insults I could sling at them without so much as lifting my wand.

I hope they don't get to excited in thinking I'm impressed by this pile of mandrake droppings they call gifts. I was barely amused. You may live when the Dark Lord returns.

I hate you, Onward_and_Upwards

(But seriously... this is the best set of gifts ever. It definitely touched my snakey and mischievous side. You are the best.)