By Andrew Callaway

Dear people of Instagram,

Have you seen a porno before? Are you confused? Because you keep hashtagging things as #foodporn, but most of the time, it’s just a picture of a semi-fancy looking meal, lying there on a plate, definitely not having sex with anything. Occasionally, someone will post a photo of a mutant cherry that looks like a butt, and it’s like, okay, close enough; but for the most part, I’m sick of being lied to.

If you want to see what real food porn looks like, here you go. I asked Andrew Callaway and Gavin Murray to film the literal interpretation of the most prevalent hashtag of our time.