The entire marketing department at Subway is melting in their office chairs this morning, because their slogan “Eat Fresh” has a new NOT RIGHT meaning and has careened into dark places of NO.

FOX59 says that at around 6:30 this morning, the Zionsville, Indiana home of fatty turned $5 foot-long pusher Jared Fogle was raided by the feds in an ongoing child porn investigation. Reporters at Subway Jared’s house say that an evidence truck is parked in his driveway and both the Indiana State Police and FBI investigators are at the scene. It’s Pat’s creepy-looking nephew hasn’t been charged with anything and the feds are still searching his house. Back in college, Jared ran a black market porn lending service out of his dorm room, so the feds could be spending a whole lot of time with his hard drives.

The raid on the house that $5 foot longs built could be part of a long-term child porn investigation. In April, Russell Taylor, the former director of The Jared Fogle Foundation (an anti-obese kids charity started by Subway Jared), was put into handcuffs for possessing and producing child porn. Investigators found more than 500 dark-sided videos and pictures in his house. Russell Taylor was dropped by The Jared Fogle Foundation immediately after he was arrested. Russell Taylor tried to kill himself in jail and he was put on life support.

In possibly related news, reporters at the scene say that tricky bitch Ronald McDonald and shifty brat Wendy were seen tip-toeing out of the backdoor of Subway Jared’s house while giggling and high-fiving each other.

And well, if Subway drops Jared, I’m sure he can get a job in Mike Huckabee’s campaign or as Josh Duggar’s cook.

Pic: Subway