It Co-Depends

A few months ago, I started a new job at a small company, with a leadership role. I’m feeling as if I am making a lot of positive changes and contributions to the operation and culture of the company, and generally like my co-workers and many aspects of the culture.

However, I’ve been blindsided by a major issue. It’s been abundantly clear since my first week that one of the two heads of the firm is an alcoholic. He’s displayed inappropriate behavior in the workplace, and regularly drinks heavily at work — even drinking steadily through presentations and new hire interviews.

As someone senior, but not an owner, in the company, I’m unsure of how to cope. There is of course no supervisor to report his behavior to, and his co-head is dealing with a long-term personal issue that makes approaching him inappropriate.

I’ve seen a lot of addiction in family and friends, and I know that this is an issue that won’t resolve until he himself recognizes the issue and decides to change. I’m also loath to re-enter the job market. I’d like to help right the ship as much as possible until at least one, or both, of the C.E.O.s can get back to more stable footing.

— L., Virginia

The definition of codependency is excessive reliance on others, particularly those who require a lot of support, for a sense of approval and identity. You are investing far too much in the people and the culture of this job. Step back: Is this job good for you? Will it look good on a résumé? Are you making a good salary? Are you gaining valuable experience? Once the answer to any of these questions is “no,” start looking for another job, even if the market is a special kind of hell.

Emotional distress is also worth considering, but you can reduce it in this case by very actively stepping back. As you wisely intuit, you’re not going to fix anything at all. As for coping directly with a boss who is an alcoholic: I might suggest keeping a journal documenting interactions that you have with him. It’s never a bad idea to cover your own derrière for when the lawsuits start to fly.