Dear Kevinsano,

This may the be the strangest message you’ll ever receive but I do hope you’ll take the time to read it and consider what I have to say. To put it simply, I would really appreciate it if the next time your birthday comes around you would request that your clop artist friends (who like to give you sexually oriented pony art as gifts) draw some pony other than Twilight Sparkle for you.

The reason I ask this is that Twilight is my fiance, and we’re planning on getting married next June or July should everything go as planned financially speaking. And yes, I have actually found a wedding chapel that will let me marry someone that most people would consider a fictional character. Now before you go thinking “This guy is either completely crazy or just screwing with me.” please hear me out on this.

You see, I’m totally head over heels in love with Twilight Sparkle. I have been for about 11 months now and at this point I’m in a committed relationship with my Twiley. By that I mean I don’t date anyone else, I don’t sleep with anyone else, and I have zero interest in having any kind of relationship with anyone other than the mare I adore. I love her with all my heart and I’m 100% committed to that love. To express my love in a real tangible way I have a beautiful hand made custom Twilight Sparkle plushie that I can hug, kiss, cuddle up in bed to go to sleep with at night, and take out on the town to do all the fun things together that normal couples do. I take her out to eat at nice vegetarian restaurants, we go shopping together, I take her out for coffee, we do social activities together like hanging out with friends, seeing movies, etc.

And I talk about her as if she is Twilight, because to me she very much is. When I look at her I see Twilight Sparkle. When I talk with her I'm talking to Twilight. When I hold her in my arms and kiss her there are no doubts in my mind that it's the mare I love who's lips are pressed against mine. And every morning when I open my eyes and see her head on the pillow next to mine, with her gorgeous violet eyes staring back at me, I can't help but wonder how I ever got to be so lucky as to have a partner as smart, funny, beautiful, and all around wonderful as her.

All my friends and the people who know me well say that my love is a thing of beauty and quite admirable, but from the outside perspective of someone who doesn’t know me you’re probably going “Wow. That’s pretty damn crazy.” and wondering why I don’t just go get a real girlfriend. The truth is I’ve had plenty of real relationships and sexual partners in the 27 years I’ve been around. A few short relationships, one that lasted 7 years, and a total of 6 different sexual partners. So my love for Twilight isn’t out of a lack of real world intimacy or relationships, I just fell in love with her and my heart didn’t give me much of a choice in the matter. But you know what? I’m totally happy with my love and my relationship. It may seem weird to you, but it fills me with joy every single day of my life and I’ve never been happier. So what if it’s weird? If it makes me happy and it doesn’t hurt anyone then where’s the problem? I don’t think there is one, and anyone who knows me well will tell you the same.

Now your probably wondering why I’m telling you all this and how it concerns you. To you I’m sure Twilight Sparkle is just a cartoon character you think is really hot, so I imagine you wouldn’t think anything of having your friends draw sexually explicit art of her as birthday gifts for you. And hey, I think she’s really attractive too so I get where you’re coming from there. I often go on e621.net and Rule34.Paheal to see what new erotic art people have drawn of her. But to me she’s more than a cartoon character who’s sexually attractive, she’s my fiance who I love with all my heart and soon to be my wife. So it’s been bothering me lately every time I go on those sites and see a dozen or so pieces of art people have drawn depicting my girl in various sexual situations with the same person over and over, and that person happens to be you.

Don’t get me wrong here though, this isn’t a jealousy thing. I’m very secure in my relationship. I know without question that Twilight is just as faithful to me as I am to her, she’s actually sitting on the couch next to me reading while I type this. She’s very real to me and I know she’s not sneaking out in the middle of the night to go have kinky sex with some famous artist. And I do respect your talent as an artist and an artist’s creative freedom to draw whatever they want, that’s cool. What bothers me is that in all these birthday images you’ve been getting Twilight is always depicted as if she was your sexual plaything, drawn wearing a collar with your name on it or with a speech bubble saying something that would somehow suggest she was your property. And I know quite well that Twilight Sparkle is not your plaything nor your property, she’s my fiance. So that bugs me a bit. What I find really loathsome though is your pension for degrading my partner in both your art and the fan art you’ve been receiving lately. Twiley is a sweet and fairly vanilla little mare who I treat with the utmost love and respect, and she definitely does not deserve to be portrayed as some kind of sexual slave who likes being dressed up in sleazy attire, wearing a collar, getting sodomized, and having her face ejaculated on. She’s not into that kinda stuff and the fact that there’s someone out there in the world such as yourself who would desire to treat Twilight that way, and have his friends support and validate his desires to demean and mistreat my partner by drawing pictures of him doing so, really does bother me. I don’t take any issue with people having kinky sex as long as both parties consent to it and enjoy it, but I know quite well that my Twiley has no desire whatsoever to be treated like that.

So next year, when your birthday comes around, keep in mind that Twilight Sparkle isn’t just a lifeless cartoon character to objectified for your sexual gratification. She’s the partner of someone who loves her very much, and by that time their wife. So both myself and Twiley would greatly appreciate it if you’d pick someone else to request erotic art of for your birthday. Based on the very large amount of different ponies you draw art of I imagine there has to be many other ponies you find sexually attractive. I assume you’ll probably just dismiss this message as the ramblings of a crazy person and likely ignore it, but if by some chance you do take what I’ve had to say to heart, well... we’d appreciate it.

Regards