You will never get a reservation at Dorsia.

Nor will you ever live in the American Gardens building, or dine at Barcadia, Pastels, or Crayons, where the tables are covered in paper for you to draw on.

No matter how rich, famous, and powerful you become, it simply won’t happen, for one simple reason: they’re all fictional, dreamed up by author Bret Easton Ellis.

But American Psycho, set in the soulless, superficial, status-seeking world of 1980’s New York finance, name-drops dozens of restaurants and clubs that actually did exist during that era, the elite NYC hot spots where you and I would have absolutely no shot of ever getting in (admit it!).

What still remains from the world of American Psycho? Are Patrick Bateman’s old haunts still around, turning away all but those graced with a much sought after reservation? Or have the Dorsia’s of the world been replaced by Shake Shacks and Duane Reades?

Let’s have a look! The locations below are presented in the order they appear in the film. If you ever dined/partied at any, please leave your memories in the comments!

TUNNEL

Address: 220 12th Avenue (btw. 27th & 28th Streets)

Status: Gone (1987-2001)

Replaced By: ENK-NYC (a design collective)

How To Secure A Reservation: Don’t need one – just check the site for retail shows

History: Tunnel was built in an enormous warehouse that trains once passed through in the early 1900’s on their way to the 11th avenue freight line. Goods were loaded or unloaded here before freight cars were floated across the Hudson to New Jersey.

The warehouse’s dozens of tunnel-shaped rooms were given a full makeover when it became a club in 1987, with motifs ranging from an S&M dungeon to a Victorian library. Though a founder once claimed that “There is no scene anymore…It’s just a bunch of people who go out, uptown or downtown, and look well,” it soon became one of New York’s premiere clubs, with lines stretching around the block.

Tunnel was shut down in 2001 under Giuliani’s quality-of-life campaign, which also partially led to the downfall of Twilo and Limelight.

THE HARVARD CLUB OF NEW YORK

Address: 27 West 44th Street (btw. 5th & 6th)

Status: Still exists!

How To Secure A Reservation: Go to Harvard, join the club, pay dues

History: Incorporated in 1887, the Harvard Club’s building was designed by Charles McKim, of McKim, Mead, & White in 1894. Originally located in a townhouse on West 22nd Street, Harvard chose the block due to proximity to other such prestigious members-only organizations. The club features a restaurant, hotel rooms, a gym, and other amenities.

FLUTIE’S – PIER 17

Address: 89 South Street @ Pier 17

Status: Gone (1986 – 1991)

Replaced by: Sequoia

How To Secure A Reservation: Just show up (though, er, might want to read the reviews)

History: Opened in 1986 by then New Jersey Generals quarterback Doug Flutie, Flutie’s-Pier 17 was a restaurant at the South Street Seaport covering 15,000 square feet, with views of the Brooklyn Bridge. Flutie claimed in an interview with Time that this was his way of “planting a foot in New York City. I’ve always been known as a Boston athlete, and this is one way I could become a New Yorker.”

Other than the occasional mention of it as a celebrity hot spot, I couldn’t find anything else on it (other than a big gay protest that went down in 1990 due to a “straights only” policy). Anyone know? It’s hard to imagine the hippest of hip New Yorkers going down to the South Street Seaport for a party venue.

ARCADIA

Address: 21 East 62nd Street (btw. Fifth & Madison)

Status: Gone (1984 – 1998)

Replaced by: Amaranth Restaurant

How To Secure A Reservation: Four empty tables at lunch time suggest you should be OK

History: I honestly couldn’t hope to write anything as unbelievably eloquent as the NY Times’ 1994 review of Arcadia, which says it all:

Arcadia is lovely at dinner, but at lunchtime it is almost magical. The restaurant is small and cozy, the walls wrapped in a woodsy mural by Paul Davis that defines the space as a place where time does not count. When you walk out of the sunlight into this gracious flower-filled room, you leave the real world behind… Most days the banquettes that ring the room are occupied by an astonishingly varied group of people. One Friday a famous editor sat by the entrance. Next to her was a beautifully dressed woman with her small and beautifully behaved daughter; they were both wearing flowered hats. Flanking them was a group of men in identical blue blazers, and they were seated beside an older couple. But everybody’s attention was riveted on a table in the middle of the room where a short man and a tall woman sat nibbling each other’s fingers, oblivious to everything but themselves… Well, almost everything: they did pay attention to their food. But then, at Arcadia the food does not allow itself to be ignored.

Interesting sidenote: Bateman goes to a place called “Barcadia” in the film. One wonders if they couldn’t get the rights to the Arcadia name.

Espace

Address: 9 East 16th Street (btw. 5th & Broadway)

Status: Gone (1989 – 1993?)

Replaced by: Steak Frites

How To Secure A Reservation: I wouldn’t worry too much

History: Though it was important enough to merit one of my favorite American Psycho quotes, I can find only find two mentions of Espace online: an ad in a 1989 issue of New York Magazine (“Romance your Valentine in the intimacy of our new, stylish French bistro”), and a follow up article mentioning its demise in 1993.

HUBERT’S

Address: 575 Park Avenue (btw. 62nd & 63rd – entrance on 63rd)

Status: Gone

Replaced by: Park Avenue [insert current season here] (a restaurant whose menu changes by the season)

How To Secure A Reservation: Might need Patrick Bateman on this one

History: The only mention I could find of Hubert’s (don’t pronounce the T!) was a 1997 NY Times article wondering about the disappearance of the restaurant stars of the 1980’s:

“Barry Wine. Len Allison and Karen Hubert Allison. Jonathan Waxman. Brendan Walsh. A decade ago, their names were on the cognoscenti’s lips, their unlisted phone numbers eagerly sought by yuppies determined to sample $50 beggar’s purses and $30 roast chicken. The excitement created by their restaurants — the Quilted Giraffe, Huberts… “Restaurant mania has again gripped New York, but this time it is more restrained: diners are more discriminating: they expect value for their money.”

Though I’ve never eaten there, Park Avenue NYC, Hubert’s replacement, is very well reviewed, and changes menus and decor by the season. Sounds very much like a Bateman hang-out.

TEXARKANA

Address: 64 West 10th Street (btw. 5th & 6th Aves)

Status: Gone

Replaced by: Alta

How To Secure A Reservation: Not hard, but frequently packed

History: Opened in 1982, Texarkana was a Cajun-Louisiana-style restaurant that quickly grew to hip prominence. According to the 1983 NY Times restaurant review, “Regulars know they must wait until 9 or 9:30 if they want meaty, flavorful suckling pig that turns on a spit in the big open fireplace…”

And as for the clientelle: “whether dressed in expensive, fashionable sweaters or in more gussied-up supper-club outfits, regulars have in common a taste for high-style Gulf Coast specialties prepared under the direction of Abe de la Houssaye.”

Unlike the hollow, cavernous space depicted in the movie, Texarkana had “walls painted almost exactly the creamy coral color of the restaurant’s pungent crawfish etouffe, … reminiscent of the sort of Creole courtyard found in the French Quarter of New Orleans.”

HARRY’S

Address: 1 Hanover Square

Status: Closed, re-opened

How To Secure A Reservation: Call ahead

History: According to legend, Harry Poulakakos came from Greece to New York City in 1954 hoping to get a job with a wealthy American uncle, only to discover the uncle actually worked as a counterman in a coffee shop.

Harry took a number of jobs and soon found himself at DelMonico’s. After working his way up the ranks to management, he opened Harry’s in 1972 in the historic India House building (once home to the NY Cotton Exchange, the first commodities market in the US), which quickly became a Wall Street institution. Three more locations were later opened in the area, and Harry was famous enough to have his son’s birth announced on the front page of the Wall Street Journal. Harry’s closed in 2003, but was later re-opened as Harry’s Cafe & Steakhouse under his son’s ownership in the original location.

INDOCHINE

Address: 430 Lafayette Street (btw. 4th St & Astor Place)

Status: Still exists

How To Secure A Reservation: Call ahead

History: Described as “faux French colonial Vietnamese” by New York Magazine, Indochine has been in business since 1984, and Yelp reviews suggests that little has changed in terms of its pretentious clientelle.

More of interest, Indochine is located in the gorgeous Colonnade Row, a series of four Greek revival buildings dating back to 1830.

Originally nine in number, John Jacob Astor owned the property and lived in 424. The Colonnade Row buildings were among the first to be landmarked in New York City in 1965, and while current owners have been talking about restoration for decades, nothing has yet taken place.

NELL’S

Address: 246 W 14th Street – btw. 7th & 8th

Status: Gone

Replaced by: Darby

How To Secure Reservations: Call ahead…but do you want to?

History: The point of the infamous Nell’s nightclub, according to owner Keith McNally, was “a club for rejects, for people who aren’t allowed into other clubs.” Strange then, that Nell’s quickly became famous for its celebrity clientele, much of whom was turned away or forced to wait at in line (and pay the $5 cover).

Designed as a British men’s club, New York Magazine’s 1986 description sounds pretty American Psycho-esque: Nell’s “has preserved some of the more obnoxious hallmarks of contemporary New York nightlife: there are velvet ropes and brass stanchions out front, the doormen pick and choose from among the crowed, and the bouncers can be beligerent.”

THE CORNELL CLUB

Address: 6 East 44th Street (btw. 5th & Madison Aves)

Status: Still exists

How To Secure A Reservation: Go to Cornell, join the club, pay dues (hot tip: sneak in by going to lower tier affiliate school Wake Forest!)

History: Founded in 1889, the club bounced around from a number of different hotel locations, ultimately landing at it’s current address in 1989. The most interesting fact about the building is that it used to be home to the Chicago Pneumatic Tube Corporation, a convenience that sadly seems to have gone extinct.

THE NY YACHT CLUB

Address: 37 West 44th Street (Btw. 5th & 6th Aves.)

Status: Still exists

How To Secure A Reservation: Membership is invitation only. Probably should be rich and powerful.

History: The NY Yacht Club was founded in 1844 by 9 “sportsmen,” who then immediately proceeded to sail from the Battery to Newport, RI to mark the occasion. Its original clubhouse was in Hoboken; the organization moved in 1901 to its permanent home on West 44th Street. Members have included John Jacob Astor, William F. Buckley, Ted Kennedy, Jay Gould, and Bernie Madoff (resigned).

The nautical-themed building is, as far as I’m concerned, one of the most beautiful in New York City, with three ships’ sterns, seeming almost to drip from the stonework.

THE FOUR SEASONS

Address: 99 East 52nd Street (btw. Park & Lexington)

Status: Still exists

How To Secure A Reservation: Call ahead

History: Opened in 1959, very little has changed at the Four Seasons, from the Mies van der Rohe and Philip Johnson-designed interior, to the Pablo Picasso-painted curtain in the entrance hallway. The Four Seasons is also said to have been the first to create menus that changed by season in the US, and according to Wikipedia, is also the first restaurant in the US to cook with fresh mushrooms (as opposed to dried).

One fascinating bit about the Four Seasons – pay attention to the windows next time you walk by, which are lined with a sort of hanging gold chain. If you look closely, you’ll see them ripple rhythmically – yet, there’s no mechanism to cause this. The one time I ate here, a waiter explained that it had to do with the temperature differential between the outside and inside.

THE YALE CLUB

Address: 50 Vanderbilt Ave @ 44th Street

Status: Still exists

How To Secure A Reservation: Go to Yale, join the club, pay dues

History: Though Patrick Bateman doesn’t hold Yale in the highest regard, its club is actually the largest in the world, with 11,000 members. Founded in 1897 in a brownstone at 17 East 26th Street, the current building was constructed in 1915 on what was said to be the location where Yale alum Nathan Hale was executed for espionage by the British Army (the exact location is actually heavily disputed).

CANAL BAR

Address: 511 Greenwich Street @ Spring Street

Status: Gone

Replaced by: Don Hill’s

How To Secure A Reservation: Haha…

History: From a 1989 New York Magazine article about hip downtown restaurants:

“There’s no room for attitude at Canal Bar tonight. It’s not crowded enough. Alvin is on a diet, but he can’t help finishing the Parmesan-chicken sadnwich. We are debating whether the woman in the next booth is a man when Brian arrives to check the meal count. “We’re still doing 200 a night,” he says, “but it’s only a question of time.”

Later in the same issue devoted to the excitement of Downtown NYC, a restaurant consultant notes:

“Uptown is safe. It’s boring. It’s ‘near the house.’ When you’re at a table in the Rainbow Room, you know you’re in New York. When you’re crushed at the Canal Bar, you know you’re downtown.

Then, a third article states that:

“to appear [at Canal Bar] would be tantamount to declaring…that the best you could manage was to straggle into last year’s watering hole after the herd had moved on.”

I love that Canal Bar went from being uncool to hip to being uncool in just one issue.

ARIZONA 206

Address: 206 East 60th Street (btw. 2nd & 3rd Aves)

Status: Gone (1987 – 1991)

Replaced by: Patsy’s (chain)

How To Secure A Reservation: Just walk in

History: Dreamed up by a former oral surgeon, Arizona 206 was a Native American-inspired restaurant in a nook of a space on the Upper East Side. In its 1985 review, New York Magazine warned that Arcadia (see above) has a new rival for their lobster club sandwich, concluding that “if the house steers clear of arrogance and complacency,” perhaps there’s hope it’ll stick around. As of a 1987 review, things are still going strong. By 1991, gone.

ORSO’S

Address: 322 W 46th Street (btw. 8th & 9th Aves)

Status: Still exists (1983 – )

How To Secure A Reservation: Call ahead

History: From a 1991 article in NY Magazine that feels fitting to American Psycho:

“It’s Tuesday night at 6:20…Every table in the 78-seat restaurant is taken. A dolled-up quartet on its way to Cats pleads with Juliann Mahony, who’s in charge of the reservation book. “I’m sorry,” she says, with a polite glance at the page, “but I’m sure you’d have a lovely dinner next door…and they do have a few tables left.”

A father-and-daughter operation, Orso opened with an understated flair, and kept building in reputation. Before long, owner Joe Allen would look around the room and find that “every face is famous.” Never eaten here before, but Orso’s is still packing in the good reviews.

PETALUMA

Address: 1356 1st Ave @ 73rd Street

Status: Still exists

How To Secure A Reservation: Call ahead to be sure

History: What’s interesting about Bateman’s response to Paul Allen’s (Owen in the screenplay) disappearance is that both restaurants he mentions are still in business. Opened in 1985, and the restaurant farthest north on our list, Petaluma seems to have found success, like Orso, in being understated: simple design, quality food. And, within a month of opening in 1985, Petaluma had become one of the hot spots of New York.

RIVER CAFE

Address: 1 Water Street, Brooklyn

Status: Still exists

How To Secure A Reservation: Call ahead

History: Patrick Bateman would be willing to go to Brooklyn! But, only so long as he could stay within view of Wall Street. River Cafe, with its sweeping views of Manhattan and the Brooklyn Bridge, opened in 1977. At the time, Brooklyn was down and out, and the idea of opening a fancy restaurant in a derelict waterfront was risky at best. Over 30 years later, River Cafe still seems to be impressing customers, and according to the restaurant’s website, the term “free range chicken” was invented here. Huh.

AU BAR

Address: 39 East 58th Street (btw. Madison & Park)

Status: Gone

Replaced by: Lavo

How To Secure A Reservation: Call ahead

History: From a 1988 New York Magazine review:

“[Au Bar] is located in the basement of an office building on East 58th Street. There’s no name outside. Just the usual status symbols: two power hungry doormen, six yards of rope, and a desperate crowd. Inside, it’s very English with mix-and-match sconces, imported wainscoting, leather books, and antique table coverings that are falling apart after three months of drinks and dinners. “They were too antique,” [club owner Howard] Stein says.” …For now, [Stein] is enjoying life at the top, waving at the middle-aged men with their gold Rolexes, their skin gleaming with apres-tan cream. The women, their faces very pale – who wants to ruin the cosmetic work? – blow kisses at him…”

Really says it all.

SMITH & WOLLENSKY

Address: 797 3rd Ave @ 49th Street

Status: Still exists

How To Secure A Reservation: Call head

History: Now a chain with locations in Chicago and Las Vegas, the first Smith & Wollensky’s opened in 1977 in the distinctive wood paneled building at 49th. Its website describes it as “A prime spotting place for local celebrities, political figures and even a few movie stars.” Neato.

21

Address: 21 West 52nd Street – Btw. 5th & 6th

Status: Still exists

How To Secure A Reservation: Call ahead

History: Originally opened as a prohibition-era speak-easy in the Village, 21 later moved to its current location in 1929. During raids, a system of chutes apparently allowed bartenders to dump all alcohol into the sewer system, and the owners were never caught by police. Meanwhile, a brick “wall” in the basement was actually a door, leading to a wine cellar in the basement of the adjacent building. In the original screenplay, Batemen was supposed to have lunch with Detective Kimball here.

21 is best known for the cast-iron jockeys on its balcony, which represent famous race horses and their stable colors.

150 WOOSTER

Address: 150 Wooster St btw. Houston & Prince

Status: Gone

Replaced by: A Maclaren Showroom

How To Secure A Reservation: Don’t worry about it

History: Once a trashy, graffiti-covered super-hip bar frequented by such clientele as Paul Simon, Robert De Niro, and David Geffen, 150 Wooster is today a Maclaren showroom. What sort of items are exhibited here?

LE CIRQUE

Address: 60 E 65th Street btw. Park & Madison

Status: Gone

Replaced by: Daniel

How To Secure A Reservation: Good luck

History: Does Le Cirque need an introduction? Once located in the former Mayfair Hotel, Le Cirque operated from 1974-1996, then moved, closed, and re-opened. Today, ultra fancy Daniel occupies its former space.

FLAMINGO EAST

Address: 219 2nd Ave btw. 13 & 14th

Status: Gone

Replaced by: Professor Thom’s

How To Secure A Reservation: Haha…

History: Here’s a way to bring it all together: Flamingo East creator Darrell Maupin first worked as a waiter at Odeon, then as a maitre d’ at Indochine, and then helped put Canal Bar together. Flamingo East was once a hot spot, today…it’s Professor Thom’s!

OYSTER BAR

Address: Grand Central Terminal

Status: Still exists

How To Secure A Reservation: Call to avoid the line

History: Oyster Bar has been nestled under the gorgeous vaulted ceilings of Grand Central Terminal since it opened in 1913. It hit a dry spell in 1974, nearly going bankrupt and becoming little more than a “coffee shop.” It was rejuvenated, and has been charming customers ever since.

———————

What fascinates me most about this list are the physical locations: how quickly an otherwise bland, boxy brick building can suddenly become the trendiest place in New York City, with lines out the door and angry bouncers shoving you away…and then go to being “tired and old” overnight (and ultimately, in one case, to become a baby carriage showroom).

I don’t think Patrick Bateman would recognize the New York of today, and overall, I think that’s a good thing. But that’s not to say we’ve escaped the superficial trappings that plagued the 80’s. They’ve certainly matured (you might say “mutated”) over two decades, but I think the scariest thing is that there very well could exist a Patrick Bateman of 2011…

…and none of us would recognize him (my guess: he’s the guy FreshDirect delivered to before your drop-off).

-SCOUT

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