EDMONTON – After wildfire smoke blanketed Edmonton yesterday and forced the cancellation of what should have been a triumphant celebration of the repeal of Alberta’s carbon tax, Premier Jason Kenney is vowing to take the culprit to court.

“For too long, Alberta and its only industry, oil, have been under attack from the yearly embarrassment of wildfires. Enough is enough,” Kenney said in an announcement from the taxpayer funded war room set up to defend the energy industry. “These wildfires are a menace. We can’t afford not to fight them. In court.”

In the lawsuit, the government of Alberta plans to go after both the indisputable science that links the increase in wildfires to climate change caused by carbon released by the burning of fossil fuels, and the wildfires for taking advantage of that science to malign the fossil fuel industry by existing.

“You think it’s a coincidence that wildfire season happened to start this year just as this government was fulfilling our promise to repeal the carbon tax? This was a calculated, deliberate, and may I say, cowardly attempt to vilify this government and the private industry it represents,” Kenney said.

“An orange sky and unbreathable air is the last thing Alberta’s petroleum producers need,” Kenney said, coughing. “I know I speak for every Albertan when I say we’ll punish these fires for this continuing smear against oil and gas with our last dollar. And probably our last breath.”

The press conference was cut short after several reporters asked if the money for a lawsuit against the ephemeral symptoms of a worsening chronic problem might be better spent trying to prevent future disasters by decarbonizing Alberta’s economy and Kenney immediately sued them, their employers, and everyone watching at home.