Bill Mitchell, the host of YourVoice America, loves him some Donald J. Trump, and he’s got more than half a million Twitter followers hanging on his every Dadaistic dingleberry of wisdom.

But … he clearly doesn’t know how averages work:

x Interesting that ActBlue raised an average donation of $30.38.



This would imply people are donating in uneven numbers, including pennies, which would be odd. OR it would indicate untraceable foreign donations and an exchange rate translation, which would be illegal. — Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) April 21, 2020

Lookee! More than 4,000 people thought enough of this tweet to “like” it. And it got 1,400 retweets — and counting! But, well, it didn’t go exactly as planned.

x He should at lest know about ratios, though. — George Conway (@gtconway3d) April 21, 2020

x Bill seems like AI, but I don't think even bad artificial intelligence could be this... stupid. — John Culver (@JohnCulver689) April 21, 2020

x I donated $25 to my friend X's political campaign. My friend Y donated $50 to X's political campaign. Now the average contribution to X's campaign is (25+50)/2 = 75/2 = 37.50. It's so simple, a 4th grader can understand. — psfiswriting (@psfiswriting) April 21, 2020

x If you need a tutor, I got straight As in 4th grade. I charge $30.38/hr. — psfiswriting (@psfiswriting) April 21, 2020

Well, it was 4/20 when he tweeted that. But I smoked a fuck-ton yesterday, and it didn’t come close to turning me into such a giant goofus that I forgot basic arithmetic. Granted, for a minute or two I wondered if there was a version of me somewhere in the vast multiverse who was spending the day artificially inseminating woefully unprepared howler monkeys instead of smoking ganj, but I never got quite this stupid.

Needless to say, Bill seemed a bit, shall we say, testy about being ratioed:

x I have over 560,000 followers, 88% of whom are Trump supporters (estimated based upon poll responses). Replies in my feed today are 98% liberal trolls.



I personally think it's awesome. I clearly struck a nerve asking questions about #ActBlue.



Bring it snowflakes! — Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) April 21, 2020

x Lol, Liberals are saying I only trended #1 because "I can't do math."



Ok, here's my challenge.



Tweet 2 + 2 = 5 and see if you trend #1.



I trended #1 because I called out #ActBlue as a Soros money-laundering front. — Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) April 21, 2020

x Dear Liberal Trolls,



You've heard of me. I've never heard of you, and probably no one else has either.



This is why I have influence and you don't.



200 million impressions this month with a 6.7% engagement rate. I move the dial. You're just here. — Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) April 21, 2020

Yup, you move America’s dial — way down to the “dipshit” setting. Thanks much for that, man.

Cheers

P.S.: If you want to donate $30.38 — or any other amount — to ActBlue, you can do that here. George Soros, if you happen to be reading this, you can donate, too. But, shhhhhh ... don’t tell anyone. They’re onto us.

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