This is Danielle.(scroll down here)Danielle is a bounty hunter.Or... She's at least training to be one.Well... She at least wants to be one.Okay maybe not.Danielle is a poser.These are actually her pajamas.She's got this weird obsession with bounty hunters and bought themed pajamas.I don't know.Don't ask me.Anyway.How did she end up here?Um. That's honestly a good question.If you couldn't tell.We're in Feudal Japan.And if you couldn't tell from the fetishy pajamas,Danielle is a fifteen-year old girl from Ohio.(Total scenester)(Been outside like 3 times ever)Let's rewind to the beginning.It's an average Thursday afternoon.Danielle is at the mall.She buys some donut-holes at one of those little stands.And on her walk home, a homeless lady asks her for one.Danielle hesitates.And the lady immediately pulls out two raven's skulls from her bag.Lights em on fire.And starts doing a weird jumpy dance.And mumbling furiously.Danielle turns to run away.And the lady shouts,"I HEX YOU!"Sure enough.The next day,Danielle wakes up in feudal japan.In her bounty hunter pajamas.Lol.But that's hardly the issue here.(Don't get distracted)The real problem?This is the year 1130 A.D.Which means we're on the cusp of the Heian period.Which means the emperor recently abandoned the country.Which means it's a total free for all.Which means everyone is hiring samurais left and right.And do you know what samurais are basically ancient versions of?You guessed it.Bounty hunters.Townspeople clearly don't know thats what she's dressed as.But Danielle is carrying a kitchen knife and wearing a cloak.Which is apparently close enough to a samurai to be in high demand.She gets like twenty job offers a day to kill people.For laughable sums of money.She's obvs not cut out for this job.But she's also rly hungry.So she's not gonna refuse money in exchange for homicide.Plus she's like super weak-willedSo it wouldn't have mattered anyway.So anyways, she accepts the jobs,but has never followed through.Btw, people here pay up front.And she's been here for about...3 months?And at roughly 20 gigs a day,that equals out to...Completely screwed.Which explains why she's in the forest:She's on the run from angry customers.And as of tomorrow,she's out of new cities to flee too.She's wanted literally everywhere.Sucks to suck.Danielle misses her pampered life back in Ohio.She had it so good.Eating hot pockets for free.Watching Bring Me The Horizon interviews on YouTube all day.Still, she was always so depressed there.Suicidal even.It's the whole "You never know what you've got until its gone" thing.But I say that with zero mourning.This is the best thing that's ever happened to Danielle.Before this, she had nothing to contextualize happiness.If she had killed herself at home, she would have only known depression.But now the majority of her life is perceived as happy.That's a great trade-off if you think about it!Sure, she'll be brutally slaughtered by angry townsfolk.Not tryna downplay that.At all.But she finally knows happiness.Even if just in her mind.It's all retrospective anyway.Just ask anyone on their death bed.But Danielle knows this.She's matured a ton.Living off the grid and eating bamboo for three months will do that to you.It could also give you Japanese Encephalitis,a brain infection that you get from mosquitos in costal Asian forests,which in this case, it did.But don't get distracted.The point is.She's taken on this whole broodingly-acceptant of fate persona.Which is a healthy evolution from shopping at Journeys.I'm proud of Danielle.Aren't you?Let's tell her on the count of 3.Let's say "Iâ€™m proud of you, Danielle."Ready?What do you think this is?Dora The Explorer?Nope.This is feudal japan, damnit.Not Nick Jr.Samurais and encephalitis everywhere.Grow up.Buy yourself a samurai.Get yourself some encephalitis.Anyways...It's getting dark.Let's get some rest.We'll check in on Danielle tomorrow.