Timothy Hopper

Everything a Stranger Said About My Height in January 2015

I'm 6' 9".

When I'm out in public, strangers routinely query me for this number. The more persistent among them will ask about my past or future basketball career and the relative heights of my parents. Though I will occasionally hear something that amuses me ("One more inch and you'd be seven feet."), every time I leave my apartment it is with the expectation that I will hear the same series of mundane questions.

It turns out I am not the only one who feels this way. In his great book The Height of Your Life, Ralph Keyes writes:

I've heard this sort of thing repeatedly from tall men. It's not the incessant commentary about their height that is so annoying, it's the stupefying boredom of it all. Were anyone to say something original or witty or different in any way, the constant chatter thrown their way might at least be entertaining. But soon after reaching their full height, tall people realize to their horror that the lifetime's commentary to which they've been sentenced comes mostly from those with least to say.

Exactly.

I have found that new friends, upon spending time with me in public, are often surprised by how incessant the commentary is. For a while, I've contemplated how to share that experience with a broader audience. I decided that just sharing the funny comments ("I got a got a homeboy who is 6' 9", but, damn!, he ain't that big. Only Lebron James is that big.") makes people miss how few and far between they are. So, this month I wrote down every comment a stranger made about my height and want to share them with you. Several of these are edited for brevity, but none are exaggerated or made up.

As a final comment, I will note that I spend relatively little time in public. I work out of my apartment, so I am certainly not in a job that surrounds me with strangers. Thus, these comments occur in the limited amount of time I do spend in public; at least 50% of them are grocery store encounters.

Without further ado, my month of January:

2015-01-02

"You make me feel very short." "Thank you." "How tall are you?" "I'm six nine." "My ex was like 6' 6" or 6' 7", and he was tall. But you are really tall."

2015-01-06

"You're so tall."

2015-01-07

"How tall are you?"

2015-01-07

"That boy is tall. How tall are you?"

2015-01-08

"You're so tall my head had to go back to see ya."

2015-01-10

"I gotta get a ladder."

2015-01-11

"Are you six nine?"

2015-01-11

"I know you've never been asked this question before. How tall are you?"

2015-01-12

"You're tall. How tall are you? Six six?"

2015-01-13

Cashier: "How are you doing today?" "Pretty good." "Every day should be good for you?" "Why's that?" "Cause you're tall!"

2015-01-22

Something in Korean with hand gestures indicating great height

2015-01-23

"I said! God! That guy is tall."

2015-01-28

After running across the grocery store to talk to me "Hey man, I know everybody asks you this, but me and my boss are having a debate and I gotta ask. How tall are you? I said you was 6' 8" but now that I'm over here I know you gotta be way taller." "I'm six nine and a half." "Daaaaamn he was right."

A few minutes later

"You know what the next question is." "The answer is 'No.'" "You didn't play basketball? My momma woulda kicked me out of da house. Flat."

2015-01-29

"How tall are you?"

2015-01-29

"You need to take some of that height and put it right here." Pats the top of her head

2015-01-29

"I wish I was that tall. Boy, you could dunk that ball in a minute. I would be doin' dunks all the time."