Yeah... you know you do. Then let me unleash it from my Man Crate for you.

The FedEx guy was clearly jealous. Although he was a strapping lad himself, it was obvious he didn't want to let the Man Crate holding my meat out of his hands. We wrestled with my meat for a bit, but finally he dropped his head and relented. As he got back in his truck he turned one final time to say he wished someone cared enough about him to send him my meat. "Too bad," I responded, "this meat is mine."

I only asked my Secret Santa to get creative, and they darn sure delivered. MEAT! Glorious wonderful exotic hardened MEAT. Plus, it arrived in a container dedicated exclusively to holding my meat. AND, most important, there was a tool for getting my meat out. How cool is that?

Is your meat rare? Nope. But you can rest assured mine is. I have venison, alpaca, elk, buffalo, boar, ostrich, pheasant, and duck.

I joke. In all seriousness, Thank You Secret Santa! THANK YOU!. You are amazing and thoughtful and a good human being. I truly appreciate your kindness and the fact that you shipped me something so unique, which is just what I asked for, of course. Happy Hannakwanzamas to you and to all the Secret Santas.