The old adage is true: When you marry someone, you marry their whole family — and that includes their mother. Mothers-in-law often get a bad rap for being overbearing or controlling, but it only makes sense that the person who changed a child’s diapers, fed them, and nurtured them for the first couple decades of their life would have strong opinions on their life now.

Still, that doesn’t make it any easier when your mother-in-law gives you a parenting manual (with highlighted parts!), comments on your sex life, or says something else totally bonkers. The best way to deal with the weirdo things your new family member (by marriage) says? Laugh. Laugh hard, laugh long, laugh often.

1. "My mother-in-law is over 6 feet tall, as is her husband. My husband (her son) is 6-foot-5. Me? I stand at 5-foot-2. So one day, in a conversation with another person, the subject of height came up. My mother-in-law pointed to me and said, ’She may be short but she doesn’t think like a short person.’ What does that even mean?" —Lynnelle H., 45, Apple Valley, Minnesota

2. "My mother-in-law once said, ’I know I’m not one of those crazy mother-in-laws because I Googled it!’ My sister-in-law and I were in tears imagining her Googling ’Am I crazy?’ and actually finding an answer." —Meghan S., 30, Houston, Texas

3. "My mother-in-law told me that she felt really sorry for my youngest child because he seemed to be taking after my side of the family. She said she’s afraid he’ll feel bad because his brother and dad obviously take after her side of the family. WTF?" —Shannon S., 45, Minneapolis, Minnesota

4. "I was told by my mother-in-law that Pepsi was no longer a beverage option for her because it is was flavored with aborted fetuses. She said she read it on the internet so it must be true!" —Amy H., 40, Denver, Colorado

5. "My mother-in-law is super into holistic healing stuff. So one day, she grabbed me and looked deeply into my eyes and said, ’Your liver is toxic, that’s why your eyes are brown.’ When I protested that my eyes have been brown since I was born she answered, ’Then you were born with toxins and they made your eyes brown. Blue eyes are a sign of a clean liver, like mine.’ ’So will detoxing my liver change my eyes from brown to blue?’ I asked. She grinned and said ’Exactly!’ I rolled my brown eyes so hard I think I heard them hit the back of my head." —Marie H., 32, Seattle, Washington

6. "My mother-in-law lives with my husband and I. He and I have recently been trying to conceive (first child for both of us). We’ve been talking about turning the spare bedroom into a nursery, and my mother-in-law said that there was no need, as the baby would be sleeping in her room with her. I told her that no, it wouldn’t. She said that my husband and I sleep too soundly to hear a baby crying. I said that unless she plans on breastfeeding my baby, there’s no way she’s keeping the baby in her room. My mother-in-law said fine, then she gets to pick the baby’s name. Um, that’s not how this works!" —Jackie Y., 49, Auburn, Alabama

7. "My son was diagnosed with ADHD. My mother-in-law told me I must not be very smart if I think ADHD is a real thing when really it’s the devil causing my son to act that way and I’m poisoning him by giving him medication for it. She went on to tell me that I must have been on drugs myself while pregnant to allow the devil into my child." —Amanda T., 40, Atlanta, Georgia

8. "My in-laws are Ukrainian and don’t speak English, and I don’t speak Russian or Ukrainian. When I went to visit them for the first time, my new husband said they wanted to buy me a special wedding gift. So they took me to an open-air market to buy lingerie and the sales lady insisted I try it on and get my mother-in-law’s approval first. Without knowing the language, I couldn’t say no quick enough and before I knew it there I was standing in a lacy bra and thong in an open air market in front of my new husband and his sister and mom, who were nodding their approval. I kind of wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I had some serious words with my husband later about how not to let something like that ever happen again!" —Janette K., 37, Gainesville, Florida

9. "My mother-in-law and I have opposing views when it comes to parenting (to say the least). One time in a discussion about my children, my mother-in-law said that if it were up to her ’I would undo everything you have done’ in reference to my parenting. This was at an Easter gathering and she said it in front of both my family and hers." —Cate F., 28, Minneapolis, Minnesota

10. "When I got married, my mother-in-law told me I had to pick a favorite cartoon character because all the women in the family had one as their ’signature thing.’ I told her I didn’t really like cartoons so she ’assigned’ me Winnie the Pooh. Now, every year, I get Winnie the Pooh-themed gifts for my birthday and Christmas. So far I’ve gotten embroidered overalls, pajama pants, numerous stuffed toys, a stamp set, wall decals, ornaments, earrings, a stencil to use to paint him on my walls, and even a gift certificate to a tattoo parlor to get the ol’ bear and his honey jar inked on my skin. Yeah, that’s never happening. I’ve never cared one way or the other about Winnie the Pooh but now I detest him." —Christine H., 29, San Antonio, Texas

11. "The first time I met my future mother-in-law, she asked me point blank if I was a virgin. When I looked uncomfortably at my boyfriend (we’d been dating six months) she screamed ’Wait, did you steal my son’s virginity?!’ For the record, my boyfriend was not a virgin when I met him." —Jessie B., 33, New York City

12. "I was disagreeing with my mother-in-law on something minor and she pulled herself up to her full height and announced, ’I was a sergeant in the Marine Corps, and you will do as I say!’ There was a tense moment and then we both busted out laughing. Yes, she was an airplane mechanic and sergeant in the Marines, but unless you knew that you would never guess as she was the most sweet, even-tempered, and kind person. " —Ann H., 55, San Francisco, California

13. "My creepy mother-in-law has security cameras all around the outside of her house, but I didn’t realize she was doing surveillance inside as well until one day she said, ’You keep complaining about how hot my house is.’ When I looked surprised, she finished, ’I was listening to your conversations through the vent.’ Um, creepy much? I freaked out and would only talk to my husband in whispers outside for the rest of that trip!" —Camryn S., 33, Boston, Massachusetts

14. "Last weekend, my MIL informed me that she finds it very arousing to have her nipples licked. Did not need to know that." —Nicki N., 34, Lehi, Utah

15. "My in-laws gave my husband and I an old copy of the Kama Sutra when we got married. This was weird but wouldn’t have been too bad … until my mother-in-law explained they’d been using it for years and they’d dog-eared all the pages they really liked. Nope, do not need that mental image in my head when we’re having sex!" —Candace P., Montpelier, Vermont

16. "I work in a tech-related field so I wasn’t surprised when one day my mother-in-law asked me for help with her phone. I noticed it was low on memory because of all the pictures on it. Turns out she had hundreds of nude selfies she was sexting to men that were not my father-in-law. ’Do you want to keep these?’ I finally asked. ’Just the ones on the couch, I think I look really good there, don’t you?’ she said. I just handed her her phone back." —Allie S., 38, New Orleans, Louisiana

Quotes have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

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