So, last week I made a post about Alex Noudelman, a “Top 10” websites mogul who likes stealing articles from other sites, then accusing the original authors of plagiarism. He can get away with this because some sites, like Cracked, have forums where the writers develop the ideas for months and months before the sites buy them, so Noudelman just goes in there, scoops up the unfinished articles, and posts them before Cracked can. You can look at all the evidence in the post I linked to above. Other highlights of his career include filing copyright complaints against the same sites he steals from, harassing the original writers and possibly posing as a cancer survivor on Twitter (I’ll get back to this one later).

Yesterday, Alex Noudelman finally spoke up through his Twitter account. His explanation for all the theft? It was me! The guy writing this Tumblr post! Apparently, I stole all those articles, sent them to him to publish them under false pretenses… and then wrote a lengthy post exposing my own crimes, for some reason. Here’s his evidence:

Because, you know, teenagers haven’t been faking emails using a combination of “emailing yourself” and “MS Paint” since the dawn of time. (Note that he has my IP address because I left him a nice message asking for the stolen articles to be removed before this whole thing started.) Anyway, I told him that I would confirm the email was real if he confirmed that this conversation between us took place:

But wait, that was just the beginning!

Before continuing with the story, let me go back to the cancer thing, because I think that’s important to establish the kind of person Alex Noudelman is. The things you’re about to see from Alex Noudelman are almost unbelievably stupid, and you’ll be tempted to think that maybe this guy is seriously mentally challenged (many Cracked writers have expressed that opinion and think we should take it easy on him). I’m sharing the cancer part because I don’t want you to feel sorry for this guy when you get to stupid part.

When the Cracked writers first found out about Alex Noudelman’s tendency to steal articles and file copyright complaints against the original sites, one of them, @Ericinthewoods on Twitter, made a joke about Noudelman’s apparent lack of a manboob. Another Cracked writer, @Manna_Festo, retweeted it.

Shortly after that, someone created a Twitter account called @kellybreukh, claiming to be a breast cancer survivor and messaging dozens of cancer related accounts about the joke, trying to drum up a fake controversy (as you’ll see, faking outrage is one of Alex Noudelman’s favorite techniques). “She” went as far as to wish @Manna_Festo cancer:

Manna’s name is Amanda Mannen, and one of the first things you see when you Google her is her blog, in which she mentions her mom died of cancer. In fact, both her parents did. As soon as she pointed out that this was probably Alex Noudelman posing as a cancer survivor, the @kellybreukh account was mysteriously deleted. By the way, here’s the Google Plus profile of someone called Kenny Breukh, who as of last week had only made three posts, all of which happened to be links to Alex Noudelman’s sites. We pointed out the amazing coincidence, and in another amazing coincidence, the posts have suddenly been deleted. They’re still listed on Google, though…

(The bit.ly link leads to Alex Noudelman’s richtop10.com website.)

…and Alex forgot he also used the same name to plug his other site, cooltop10s.com, on Reddit:

Yes, this self-described marketing genius only has the mental capacity to come up with one fake last name and slight variations on the first one.

Moving on, Alex Noudelman’s plagiarism first came to the Cracked writers’ attention back in January, when user Bostonpat pointed out that the sites richtop10.com and cooltop10s.com had both stolen his unfinished article “Misconceptions About World Religions” from the forum (which really fucking sucks, because Cracked doesn’t accept articles with too much in common with others that are already online – doing that can get you banned and leave you poorer).

Back then, a delightful character called “manuelhuet” showed up on the forum to defend Alex Noudelman’s sites, claiming that Bostonpat himself sent the article to richtop10 and cooltop10s…

…which, of course, makes no fucking sense, because why would Pat alert Cracked of the plagiarism in the first place if he was the one behind it? No one else had said anything about it before. Pat also found literally dozens of other articles on Alex Noudelman’s sites that were copied, sometimes word-for-word, from other places on the net (again, the evidence is in my other post).

And here’s where Alex Noudelman’s efforts to pin his plagiarism on others turns hilarious/sad: two days ago, Alex’s @Cool10s Twitter account (now renamed @marianistre) tried the “No it was you!” technique on another Cracked writer, @PhrozinNy, claiming he had email evidence that Phrozin tried to sell him the stolen articles:

When Phrozin didn’t bite, Alex Noudelman once again changed targets, this time shifting the blame to me – not only that, but he says he’s gonna sell the incriminating emails to the “highest bidder” (yeah, I have no idea who the shit would bid a single cent for that, either.)

To “prove” that he emails were real, he posted a screenshot including “my profile picture” (actually the profile picture of my seldom used YouTube channel):

Because, as you’re all aware of, profile pictures are the one thing in the world that can’t possibly be faked.

(I restore his manboob and this is the thanks I get.)

But let’s take a closer look at the screenshot of the email “from me” that Alex Noudelman plans to sell for millions of dollars to the New York Times or whatever – Gmail users, notice anything strange?

First of all, this is supposedly the email where I sent him the first stolen article from Bostonpat (the same stolen article he claimed Bostonpat himself had sent him back in January before changing his story)… but there’s no fucking attachment. Seriously? Seriously, Alex? You couldn’t email yourself a file called ThisIsTotallyaPlagiarizedArticlebyMrMxy.doc to make your Photoshop look even slightly authentic?

But maybe I sent him the attachment later, you might say. That’s impossible, because there’s no later, because there’s no time in the email, either. For the record, this is where the time goes:

Now, I was gonna go into my own Gmail account to get a screencap of what the time on an email usually looks like, but luckily Alex Noudelman saved me the trouble by posting on Twitter another faked email where he does include the time… but forgets something else.

He forgot my fucking email.

Alex Noudelman forgot to include my fucking email in the image he faked trying to incriminate me.

And hey, where did my profile photo go? The profile photo he made a big deal about before? Shouldn’t it show up somewhere? Isn’t that the whole idea of a profile photo?

Even now, he’s still insisting that none of this shit can be faked, because apparently he thinks that in addition to a Marketing Genius and a Copwriting Specialist, he’s some sort of Powerful Wizard who has access to magical image-editing secrets known only to him (aka, Photoshop). Yep, no one in the entire Internet can get close to Alex Noudelman’s talents for faking shit.

You can reach Alex Noudelman through Facebook, Google Plus, Twitter (before he cowardly deletes it) or throught his latest top quality lists sites, Mixtopten.com, RichTop10.com and HearsayCentral.com, and he collaborates on Top-10-list.org and Beforeitsnews.com. He’s also anoudelman in freelancer.com, so if you work there you might wanna avoid that username.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not seriously alleging that Alex Noudelman has a tiny ant dick. I’ve never seen it. In fact, I suspect that it is unseeable.

UPDATE: A day after this was posted, Alex had a complete meltdown in his Twitter account, where he said he’d sue me and Cracked for Human Rights violations. Later, he claimed he wasn’t Alex Noudelman and said he “didn’t give a shit” about him (yes, the guy he wanted to sue me for making fun of minutes earlier). The next morning he changed his Twitter username from @Cool10s to @polkadots82 and later @marianistre, so I’ve updated all the links accordingly. He’s also been trying extremely hard to get Tumblr to delete these posts.

Alex, if you really want these posts to go away, the best way would be to apologize to the people you intentionally harmed. I know you’re on Tumblr now, so send me a message through here and we can talk about it.