THE LETTER S

MOVIE NAME RATING SYNOPSIS

Santa Claus A devil named Pitch is sent to stop Santa, but the jolly man in red has two things on his side: child labor and wacky spying devices.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians Can Saint Nick overcome evil invaders from space, a robot, and Pia Zadora?

Saturn 3 Somebody save me from old, naked Kirk Douglas - in space.

Sea Beast Parker Lewis goes up against an invisible fish monster.

Screamers (1979) A scientist creates creatures that are half fish and half man.

Seedpeople Extraterrestrial flowers take root in California and begin pollinating human beings.

Sextette Mae West, over eighty and still acting like Mae West. Ick, ick, ick...

Sgt Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. A New York cop accidently becomes man's only hope against evil, a Super-Kabuki!

The Shape of Things to Come Jack Palance stars as the evil robot overlord in a movie we fondly call "Blinky, Blinky."

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon How do you kill a fifty-ton shark that should be, but most emphatically is not, extinct?

Shark Hunter We're going to need a better movie.

Sheena Painted horses, killer flamingos, and Tanya Roberts.

Shock Treatment Brad and Janet appear on a reality TV show that threatens to commit him and corrupt her.

Shockwave (AI Assault) Intelligent hunter-killer robots get loose on a tropical island.

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part II Punish again, but recap the first movie too!

The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine Also known as "Mother Superior Jumped the Other Nuns."

The Sisterhood Amazon women with psychic powers struggle to survive in the barren wastelands after a nuclear war.

Six-String Samurai After nuclear war in 1957 Elvis became king, now he has died and a brave samurai rocker must battle Death for the throne.

Skeeter Giant mosquitos, created by toxic waste, attack a desert town.

Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity This movie has one redeeming quality: female nudity.

Sleepstalker Evil killer returns to slay his brother, only this time he is made of sand.

Sleepwalkers Can your house cat protect you from incestuous, soul-sucking, feline monsters?

The Slime People They have invaded Los Angeles, stockpile weapons and salt!

Slither Freakish and funny, but what invasion by alien brain worms wouldn't be?

Slugs Killer slugs! Really, I mean it. Why are you laughing?

The Slumber Party Massacre Just once I'd like to see some boobies and not get killed for my trouble.

Solarbabies A glowing orb helps the members of a rollerskate team free the Earth's water.

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama Teenagers (played by actors in their thirties) release a demonic imp from its bowling trophy prison.

Sorority House Vampires from Hell A vampiress rises from her grave. The audience suffers.

Soul Vengeance When a man can use his penis to strangle people the audience suffers.

The Sound of Horror A Spanish film about invisible dinosaurs in Greece.

Space Mutiny The Southern Sun is under attack by cackling megalomaniacs and "Battlestar Galactica" stock footage.

Spaced Invaders A truly funny alien invasion film. ZIM fanboys take note.

Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone Just the name makes you shiver, doesn't it?

Spaceship In space no one can hear Leslie Nielsen scream.

The Spirit I don't mind a monologue with my movie, but I do like some movie with my monologue.

Spookies How many silly monsters can fit into one movie?

Squirm A small town in Georgia is attacked by killer worms.

Starcrash Incredibly bad space opera. Where else could you find David Hasselhoff using a lightsaber?

Star Crystal An alien slime monster reads the Bible and discovers that killing people is wrong.

Starship Rebels fight football droids in the distant future.

Star Odyssey Earth is under attack by an army of androids that look like members of Lady Gaga's Dutch fan club!

The Star Wars Holiday Special Okay, so he did make something worse than Episode 1.

Stealth Fighter Satellite weapons and Ice-T flying an F-117, this movie is not what you would call "firmly rooted in reality."

Sting of Death Do the jellyfish. It's really swella.

Stop It, You're Killing Me There are more references to sleeping with a hundred and twelve year old man than can be healthy.

Story of Ricky AMAZINGLY GORY Kung Fu movie!

The Strangeness Miners get eaten by a monster that looks like a stop motion vagina.

Strays A pack of killer house cats is on the loose.

Street Fighter Now, why did I not think of casting Raul Julia as Bison?

Streets of Fire An incredible mix of music, violence, and dialog.

Street Trash Bums melt into puddles of goo after drinking contaminated whiskey.

Student Bodies Can teen sex survive "The Breather" and horse head bookends?

The Stuff Killer dessert! It takes over your body, but has 50% less fat.

Superman IV The "Man of Nuclear Disarmament."

Super Fuzz Officer Dave Speed can run as fast as a car, catch bullets with his teeth, see through walls, and talk to fish. Supah-sssuuuppaaah!

Super Mario Bros. Frank Booth hates plumbers.

The Sword and the Sorcerer That sword makes me tired just looking at it.