Following Jim Root’s allegations yesterday that Stone Sour fired him by phone, former Slipknot drummer Joey Jordison has now revealed an even more shocking tale of woe: he claims that the ‘Knot told him he was out of the band via a singing telegram.

Jordison recounted the story exclusively for MetalSucks:

“I was sitting in my living room playing Skyrim, when there was a knock at my door. I wasn’t expecting anyone, so I was like, ‘Who could that be?’. I opened the door to find a guy in what looked like an old-fashioned elevator boy outfit. He did a little jig and started to sing this horrible song letting me know I’d been let go from the group.”

The Singing Telegram even gave Jordison a copy of the lyrics, which he has graciously shared with us, despite the pain they cause him:

I am your singing telegram

Sent to you this December

To let you know you’re not a member

Of our band anymore

So don’t get hit by the door

On your way out

It’s no use to cry and shout

You were once one of The Nine

But without you we’ll be fine

“What will ‘Knot be without me?”

Well we’ll tell you and you’ll see

We’ve already hired a Jew

To take the drum spot away from you

No, this message ain’t in jest

Yes, we wish you all the best!

We just don’t want you with us

When we get back on the bus

Please don’t try to beg or barter

Now you have more time for Scar the Martyr!

Yaaaaaayyyyy Joey!!!

P.S. In case it wasn’t clear, you’re fired.

Ugh. Terrible.

Jordison is just the latest in a long line of musicians who have been let go via less-than-polite means, including Dave Lombardo, who found out about his dismissal from Slayer after reading about it online, and former Dimmu Borgir keyboardist Mustis, who was fired via text message.

Meanwhile, there’s a rumor going around that The Faceless’ Michael Keene prefers to let band members go via sky writing. We’re trying to get confirmation on that for you now.