It’s Creep Awareness Month, so I decided to do my part and strategically summon a bunch of girls into my DMs to help me expose these weirdos (with NO ulterior motives).

The Creep Olympics Part 1

The Creep Olympics Part 2

A Family-Friendly Inquiry

This is gonna sound [a little] odd

Thank God he granted her permission to decline this offer.

From five feet away

From THREE feet away

“I’m not being weird.”

Don’t let these lames hit

I love how he asked, “where are you from?” 7 months AFTER telling her he was coming over to fuck her, and not the other way around.

This screenshot needs to be in some kind of psychology text book.

A Self Aware King

It feels like 2

Everything going on here aside, “Hi heheheheh member when I ate you out lol” is a spine-chilling question that should never be answered with any form of “yes.”

A Tempting Offer

The Classic

I think “I’m at sunset where you at” would’ve sufficed.

The Wet Dream

…any way

The fucking sun?

A Wholesome Confession

Exactly

U Remind Me

My favorite Usher lyrics.

???????

I can’t tell if this is some kind of mutual improv bit or what, but it’s ALL over the place.

An Inpatient King

Do I need to?

I feel terrible for the cat in his profile picture.

A Compassionate and Inquisitive King

The strangest part of this might actually be his usage of the degree symbol. Psycho move.

Redefining Hail Mary

The Mask Stays On

“I am literally the deadpool in all the pics”

Classic Mistake

“I’m frankly about to rail these other chicks”

21 Questions

Ryan’s dick only had enough willpower to ask two regular questions.

Which one of you did this?

Mrs. Claus

“I ordered us those matching flannels so we can be those people” might be more terrifying than any of the aggressive, sexual messages I’ve seen.

Inch By Inch

I’d love to see the messages that caused her to block people if this one only warranted a warning.

Advanced Tactics

Sweet insta dm

A Shakespearean Tragedy

Me drunk

meeeeee beeeneath the milkyyyy twilight

I don’t want to bother you

Hmm

So, this is for sure a crime.

Pizza is, in fact, not toast.

Words With More Than Friends

Eat you r Kitty

Separated At Birth

These two are 100% siblings, right?

This man’s libido needs to be rigorously studied in a laboratory.

USS Callister

You should be able to preemptively arrest people for murder/sex-related crimes.

Persistence Award

“My cousin just married a Puerto Rican”

Club Penguin

Ultimate Flex Award

Soooooooooo this is gonna be crazy random, but did you happen to be standing behind me at the ATM yesterday? I was the guy in the Armani suit with the $20,650,540 balance.