The credit card knife is a nonfunctional credit card that can fold into a weapon to stab someone and/or open annoying clamshell packaging. Just don't lose a finger! Lose two. Fun fact: I've never dated a girl with more than eight fingers. Haha, I've never actually dated a girl -- only women. Just kidding, I'm gonna die sad and alone. And, knowing my luck, with my penis in the vacuum.

It weighs just 13 grams, is only 2mm thick and features a stainless steel blade with a healthy 65mm cutting edge and a short serrated edge on the opposite side. When folded away a built-in sheath prevents you from accidentally touching the sharp blade.

They go on sale next month for $23, which I think we can all agree is a small price to pay to be able to, uh, carry a knife in your wallet? I really have no idea. Me? I just carry a little Swiss Army around in my pocket. Literally, there's like a 100,000 tiny men in there tickling my balls. Somebody fire off a tank!

Hit the jump for a 13-second video showing how the knife is folded.

Product Site

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CardSharp Folding Credit Card Knife [ohgizmo]

Thanks to Fraggin' Rock, who once accidentally killed a Doozer with friendly fire. For shame.