Recently, I’ve become inundated with claims regarding the word ‘atheist.’ The definitions being thrown at me are so fluid and misconstrued that they can be used to distort the reality of the word atheist. Some of these definitions are: the belief or knowledge that there is NO god or gods, a hatred of god/gods, against religion, and Satanist (I was actually called this by a Christian). I’d like to tackle these claims one at a time, and see if I can’t set the record straight on what I mean (and the vast majority mean) when I refer to myself as atheist.

First off, atheism regards belief only, not knowledge. Many people like to use agnostic as the sort of grey area in between theism and atheism, but this is simply not so. Agnostic is a term separate from belief, as it pertains to knowledge. In this way, someone can be an agnostic theist, or someone who believes in a god or gods but doesn’t claim absolute knowledge of this hypothesis.

Now, since that is all cleared up, shall we continue? The first claim is that I, as an atheist, believe that there is NO god or gods. I emphasize the ‘NO’ because an important distinction must be made here. The belief that there is a god or gods, and the belief that there is NO god or gods, are both beliefs. They both require faith without evidence (redundant) and therefore are both incorrect. Something could be said for the plausibility of both, in which case the scales tip in the direction of no supreme being/s, but the point stands that both are incorrect.

Now we have reached the definition of atheism: the lack of belief in a supernatural being or god. I believe that Bertrand Russell explained the difference between a belief in a negative and a lack of belief, using a teapot.

If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is an intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense.

The next claim will be much easier to refute now that the definition of atheism has been laid out. Do atheists hate god? Of course not, that is a ridiculous claim. I can’t hate your imaginary friend and still claim rationality, because at that point I would be sucked into your fantasy world. Do Christians hate leprechauns? No, because they know that they are simply stories made up to entertain children. Not much more I can say on that, moving on.

A Satanist? Really? That has to be your last ditch effort. I mean, you had to put exactly zero mental effort into that claim. I know you can do better than that. But for now, I’ll refute this claim as well. Can someone who holds no beliefs in the supernatural being referred to as god, worship the diametrically opposed scapegoat to that being (existing in only a few of the thousands of religions)? Short answer, no. Longer answer, one cannot worship that which one does not hold to be true. Example, could a Christian worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Disregarding the threat of eternal hellfire for upsetting the cosmological dictator, no they couldn’t.

I will say this however. Looking at the Bible, and reading through it, I’ve come to this conclusion. If I were shown proof of the existence of God and Satan, I would be more likely to be on the side of Satan. Satan killed .005% of the people God killed in the bible, and encouraged us to learn (something that fundamentalist Christians are very uncomfortable with). I hope I’ve cleared up some common misconceptions regarding atheism, but I am sure that no Christian will listen to them after reading this paragraph.