Cat. Knight.

We, as a community, have not been nearly as thankful to Danny Schaefer and FFG as we should have been for a card like Ser Pounce.

I was as guilty as anyone of underplaying this utterly delightful attachment following its release, despite it providing a new source of my favourite effect in Thrones: not kneeling to participate in challenges. Luckily, I had an opportunity to atone for this oversight.

Earlier in May, I made the pilgrimage home to my semi-adopted country of the Netherlands for my third Dockside Brothel Days. The Dutch meta are some of the most wonderful human beings that I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet, and it’s a tournament that I wouldn’t miss for the world.

Long-time readers of Thrones Nonsense may recall that I had played Greyjoy/Banner of the Lion at the two previous Docksides. While my Euros deckbuilding partners wanted me to test some serious decks at this major event, I was far too tempted to make it a threepeat – especially because Greyjoy offer the best target for Ser Pounce in the game: Theon.

Strong targets for Ser Pounce are few and far between – not many low-cost unique characters are impactful enough in challenges that it is worth spending attachment slots on doubling their attacking output, especially if you’d prefer to get extra value by their not having an intrigue icon in the first place.

But Theon is arguably the most impactful low-cost unique attacker in the game, his passive ability making it incredibly difficult to defend one challenge of his, let alone two. It’s a match made in heaven.

What made this concept even more appealing to me was the chance to give Support of Harlaw its moment in the sun. This flexible attachment kneels warships to give its attached character pillage, stealth or renown until the end of the phase, and is excellent on Theon for a number of reasons.

Chief among these is that I already knew that I would be playing Great Kraken, because Theon obviously opens up a lot of room to win unopposed challenges. Great Kraken doesn’t have to kneel for its effect, so you can use it for Harlaw triggers to either give Theon the stealth he needs to avoid chud-blockers or renown for multiple challenges (thanks to Ser Pounce) on top of the power that you can gain from the warship.

Add onto that the chance to play not one but two impactful King attachments in Greyjoy/Lion (King of Salt and Rock and the Boy King, both superb on Theon) alongside 1x Seal of the Hand (third challenge ahoy!) and Strangler (who says it has to go on an opponent’s character?), and I was completely sold.

So let’s have a look at the deck:

(ThronesDB link)

As much as possible here, I aimed to build a sensible shell around the nonsense at the core of the deck. The most obvious trend is that Greyjoy cards make up only a third of the draw deck, as I found myself leaning towards neutrals and Lannister cards as flexible good-stuff options that could support what I was already doing.

I already knew that I wanted to play 3x Jade Sea Dromond as part of my limited lineup, as their Warship trait synergises with Support of Harlaw and offered additional value on the rounds where I didn’t intend to blow them up in dominance. This made 3x Ocean Road an appealing option to balance out the spread of limiteds, so I broadly looked away from in-faction cards where appropriate.

Exceptions were made, naturally: chief among them 3x Balon Greyjoy (CtA), who in combination with two King attachments and 1x Tommen offered me a good chance of getting value out of running the King in the North. The chance to blanket-evade effects that could disrupt my Theon-centric gameplan was very attractive, and the plot did a lot of work all day. Two Lordsport Shipwrights came in to work around possible problem locations like Ghaston Grey, while We Do Not Sow could further answer locations as well as provide quick solutions to Milk on Theon or Frozen Solid on Great Kraken.

3x The Hand’s Judgment was a must for the nevertheless-dreadful Targaryen matchup as well as the ubiquitous threat of Nightmares, to which I also added 1x High Septon. A cheeky copy of Ser Ilyn Payne could be used to get rid of problematic chud-blocking characters as well as feed Theon’s Boy King attachment, while 3x Ser Gregor’s Marauders were efficiently costed First Snow survivors who offered synergy with the 1x Black Wind that I was already running for its trait.

Focusing on a low-cost character allowed me to operate with a pleasantly low-curve, impactful plot deck that could play Power Behind the Throne outside of Rains. This was typically my closer once I had Theon out with any subset of his various support cards, and often saw me winning three unopposed challenges at a time. Valar Dohaeris, meanwhile, is obviously very strong in a low-curve deck.

Of course, the main problem with all of this is that there are quite a lot of ways to disrupt a 3-cost, 2-STR, non-loyal character, and many decks ran one or more of those answers almost by accident. Among the things that concerned me ahead of the event were:

Ward

Burn events

Nightmares

Venomous Blade and other Martell attrition tricks

Breaking Ties

The First Snow of Winter

Kneel

Highgarden

Coldhands

Grey Wind

…and much, much more.

I had tested a little bit ahead of time, and found the deck about as inconsistent as I expected but with more than a whiff of it going off like gangbusters when not disrupted, so estimated that 2-4 over six rounds would be a good result at Dockside.

Round 1: vs Laplante (NW/Wolf), 0-1

I had to laugh. My Theon voltron’s first task was to find a way around Ward: The Deck. Knowing that I could likely never risk marshaling my win condition, this game was exactly as difficult as I expected it to be.

‘Luckily’ I didn’t even see Theon for much of it, and King in the North did some decent work with Balon in stalling out Laplante, especially as he struggled to draw power icons, but he had my board wiped after a few rounds without too much of a struggle. It was a slow death, with just the Iron Throne ticking him up slowly for several rounds, but a clean one. Honestly, the less said the better – I was just thankful to be dropping into the weeds where my chances of facing conventional good-stuff answers were lessened.

Round 2: vs Ioannis Gatsos (Targ/Wars), 0-2

Seeing the Targaryen faction card, I braced myself for yet more unpleasantness. Typically, Targ see more burn than I have a hope of repelling through just three Hand’s Judgments, and I figured that my only chance was to rush them out before they could draw anything that killed me – implausible, but possible.

As I had Theon and an Iron Mines early, this option was available to me, so I dropped Ser Pounce on him round 1 and made the intrigue challenge. Ioannis had gold, but I figured that I had to take the chance, and luckily he couldn’t burn me just yet. Doubly so when I pulled his Crown of Gold on the claim! Silver bullet dodged, now I just had to win before the silver machine-gun was loaded.

By round 2, I was up to a hair-raising four attachments on Theon and things kept progressing nicely from there. Ioannis saw only one burn event, which I was able to cancel, and I was accruing power with great rapidity. But just in time, he marshaled a Jade Sea Dromond, and my heart sank.

I hadn’t seen any further saves, which meant that my Iron Mines was bound for the bin and I would be vulnerable to his Valar Morghulis. Heartbreakingly, I was able to accelerate as far as 14 power that round, with eight of them on Theon, before I was forced to flip Valar Dohaeris and bottom-deck him to avoid a permanent death. Then Ioannis dropped Dany and found all of his burn events, and any hope of a comeback was quickly snuffed out. So close!

Round 3: vs Monika Sza (Targ/Wars), 0-3

You’ve got to be kidding me. I just got about 13 power closer to beating Targ than I had any right to do, and now I had to do it again?

This was an interesting game, mainly due to the fact that Monika mulliganed into a setup that was very light on econ and didn’t draw much of it for several rounds, allowing me to build up a dominant board and leaving her unable to afford to threaten events while she marshaled her own. I hit her remaining locations hard through Jade Sea Dromond and We Do Not Sow, and when Theon survived her Valar against a blank board, I was feeling very comfortable.

But alas, justice was done for my dumb luck against Ioannis, and just as I hit 14 power, Monika dropped a Crown of Gold on Theon, taking five of that power with him. It was a gut-punch, and suddenly the money was starting to flow on her board as I was forced to re-evaluate my options. The damage was done and Monika pushed through an impressive comeback.

Stupid bloody card anyway…

Round 4: vs Kimfay Gerlings (Greyjoy/HRD Nagga’s Ribs), 0-4

HRD Nagga’s Ribs was not the sort of nonsense deck that I was expecting to still be dealing with in my second round on the bottom table, but I was excited by the challenge. By my reckoning, the only direct counter that Drowned God decks ran to Theon was Valar Morghulis, and as long as I could save him from that things ought to come down to a race to 15 power.

In practice, that was exactly how it worked out. Kimfay had some dangerous characters on the board, Euron chief among them with Damphair as the revival engine, while I got Theon going with Support of Harlaw and King of Salt and Rock. As predicted, she didn’t have many ways to stop him but nor did I to her own power-gain triggers – Acolytes, Heads on Spikes, and Feast for Crows. I was getting plenty of power on Theon but, crucially, hadn’t found either Ser Pounce or Great Kraken, and had to flip Power Behind the Throne before it could reach its greatest efficiency in order to keep up with my opponent’s gains.

If memory serves, I was on 13 against Kimfay’s 13 or 14 going into the fourth round, and it was clearly going to come down to who had the initiative advantage. Unfortunately, I didn’t have anything that could beat Rise of the Kraken, even though my Dohaeris at least cleared a couple of power off her Victarion. Euron and Aeron pushed through the final power challenge to carry the day.

Round 5: vs Conny Rutten (Tyrell/HRD Banterbridge), 1-4

A re-pairing had seen Conny and I miss the chance to face off earlier in the day, so we were delighted to have another opportunity in our natural habitat of table 28. Banterbridge wasn’t necessarily the kind of wacky deck I was hoping to be dealing with by this point, but I quickly realised one thing: Theon is very, very good against decks that don’t play chuds.

This was another rush to the finish, with Conny dropping Renly and Mace quite early and forcing me to find all of my power-gain tech, which I did. The first House Florent Knight came down before duped Theon hit the table, and I was able to Dohaeris away Mace before any HFK recursion could threaten my voltron, thus eliminating the biggest threat to my precious three-coster’s survival.

That reset took just enough wind out of Conny’s sails that I was able to drive home a quick victory, with an ambushed Ser Pounce setting up a third Theon challenge on the decisive turn. When the tech isn’t there to stop him, my word does he go quickly.

Round 6: vs Torsten Schröder (Martell/Wars), 1-5

It’s a toss-up for whether Night’s Watch/Wolf or Martell attrition is the out-and-out worst matchup for this deck, and this match did nothing to take Martell out of the running for that dubious honour. Not much to say here – I was effectively starved out of icons, characters and cards and never had the chance to build a board that could compete with Torsten’s very flexible deck.

So that was my tournament, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention one more game. Tim Bos, friend of the blog, was keen to see what my deck was all about after I’d refused to give the game away the night before, and challenged me to a casual game with his Greyjoy/Summer pillage deck.

What followed was the perfect storm, in which I had Ser Pounce, Harlaw and both King attachments on Theon almost immediately, plus some Iron Mines just in case, and sealed victory in the third round with 10 power on my tiny monarch. It was brutal and hilarious, and Tim was a much better sport about it than some would have been.

So no, I wouldn’t recommend that you take voltron Theon to a big tournament any time soon (especially because all of the above happened without me even encountering anyone running Breaking Ties!), but if you’re looking for a silly, casual deck then you really can’t get much funnier.

And if you’re looking for a great weekend of playing Thrones, board gaming and general chill hangs, then look no further than next year’s Dockside Brothel Days. Between this tournament and Stahleck, it’s like Christmas comes twice a year in Thrones; make sure that you don’t miss out.