

Here’s everything I know about Caya Hefner. She’s married to Hugh Hefner’s brother fifty years her senior and she’s got Bruce Jenner’s Asian dream snatch between her legs. Keith Hefner is the Cooper Manning of the Hefner family. You might want to look that up. Imagine this chick’s slack-jaw when her consulate translator informed her she’d married the wrong brother. TV residuals from local variety shows in the 50’s don’t pay out like they used to. God gave you the gift of ass so you wouldn’t have to be super smart. Don’t forsake it. Contort your body into shape of praying mantis and wait to see what you catch.

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