Every other Tuesday, Steven Petrow, the author of “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners” (Workman, 2011), addresses questions about gay and straight etiquette for a boomer-age audience. Send questions for Civil Behavior to stevenpetrow@earthlink.net.

Q. Dear Civil Behavior: Mike, my partner for 13 years, and I worked with a local attorney to prepare our wills and related documents. Before we could finalize all of our financial affairs, however, Mike was diagnosed with a rare brain virus that strikes some H.I.V./AIDS patients. Six weeks later, I held Mike’s hand as he took his final breath in our home. During his final difficult days, Mike’s mother, father and sisters seemed disinterested in his illness. Recently my attorney learned that Mike’s parents have instructed the funeral home not to provide the documentation that I need to file Mike’s estate. In addition, Mike’s co-workers and friends have abandoned me, turning their backs and adding to my emotional distress. Now I’m struggling with how to address the individuals who disrespected my beloved’s final wishes and added to my emotional distress during the early days of my bereavement. I’ll be grateful for any advice you can share. — John Moriarty, Kansas City, Mo.

A. First, let me say that I’m so sorry for your loss and for the added challenges you’re facing from your late partner’s family and some of your “friends” and co-workers. Lest readers think this is a rare occurrence, alas, it is not. Earlier this year, I heard a similar story about a lesbian couple, Jessica Powell and Crystal Craven of Laurel, Miss. Ms. Craven had terminal brain cancer at the time they said, “I do,” and died 43 days later. Mississippi, like 24 other states provides no relationship recognition for same-sex couples, and Ms. Powell and Ms. Craven had not executed the necessary legal paperwork to protect themselves. (While the local paper, The Laurel Leader-Call, heralded their nuptials as an “Historic Wedding” on the front page, Mississippi doesn’t legally recognize same-sex marriages.)