Representing England has always been a privilege and my decision to take a break from Test cricket at the end of the home summer was made to ensure that, hopefully, I can do it for a lot longer.

Last week there were conversations about whether I felt ready to return for the South Africa tour and naturally part of me was keen to get back out there. My record against them is pretty good and as a team we have happy memories of winning there four years ago.

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But it just felt too soon. The past few years have been so full-on and the plan behind my break from Test cricket was to freshen up, enjoy some new environments and get my game back in good order. That is something that people perhaps don’t realise is hard to do when you play all three international formats and particularly so when you are an all-rounder.

The time away has felt quite liberating. Since my international debut in 2014 the miles on the clock have probably crept up and Test cricket is the level where the pressure and scrutiny are greatest. Combining it all had become a bit draining and rushing back now might have seen nothing change in this regard.

The England management have been very understanding, although it has been slightly strange reading some of the reaction to this in the media, including the idea that 2019 has been tough for me on a personal level. As well as becoming a dad for the second time, I look back on the past 12 months in cricket with a huge amount of pride and satisfaction.

Sometimes it can feel like my bad days get amplified more than other players, while my good ones fly under the radar

To be part of a World Cup‑winning squad was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. There was no resentment or sadness from missing the later games. The tournament became seamer-heavy in terms of conditions and I had full faith that Eoin Morgan was picking the right team to win. He always explained his decisions to me. So this was anything but a hard time.

My one disappointing Test match against Australia had a few contributing factors that get overlooked but in the 12 months leading into it I had been the leading wicket-taker in the world. I had a very good winter with the ball, one that taught me lots, and particularly when it came to bowling in the subcontinent in Sri Lanka.

Yet in the past week I have read that I don’t take wickets overseas, when I felt I was making progress in this department. Sometimes it can feel like my bad days in Test cricket get amplified or singled out more than other players, while my good ones can fly under the radar. I’m not making excuses but over time this can get to you a little bit.

Playing 60 Tests has meant so much to me, especially picking up 181 wickets and five five-wicket hauls, which for a guy who grew up thinking as a batter first is something I never thought possible. My batting is where I really want to find form again, though. Five Test centuries suggests I have it in me.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Good times in Sri Lanka in 2018, after the dismissal of Niroshan Dickwella in the first Test at Galle. Photograph: Ishara S Kodikara/AFP/Getty Images

I have put no timeframe on things. I just want to get that buzz back – a feeling of making my debut again – and ultimately become a better player for it. And there is no expectation of simply walking back into the Test team, far from it. I have taken a risk with this break but I’m still gunning for Jack Leach, Matt Parkinson and all my England teammates to have a great series in South Africa.

This time out was never going to be one just sat at home. Having lost my Test central contract aged 32, I still need to keep playing and earning for my family. Cricket is a short career. After spells in South Africa and the T10 in Abu Dhabi I have signed up to play for Multan Sultans in the Pakistan Super League.

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Playing in Pakistan is a very exciting prospect. I haven’t been to the country for 14 years and going back to where my mother is from means a lot. As does top-level cricket being staged there more and more – like the Test series against Sri Lanka that started this week – after security troubles. Cricket fans in Pakistan have waited a long time.

I am also hoping to be part of the England white-ball tour to South Africa before then and it is another big year for the team with the T20 World Cup in Australia next October. Playing in white-ball tournaments before then can only help.

The back end of the PSL coincides with the Sri Lanka Test tour in March and at this stage it is a tournament I intend to see out. But the franchise’s head coach, Andy Flower, is someone I know I can talk to if and when the England conversation arises again. So let’s see what happens.