I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a friend.

I am your lover.

When the pieces of my world aren’t aligning, when everything feels wrong and I don’t always know why – all I ever want is you.

Melancholy has settled on me, a heavy blanket on my body. We are old friends, melancholy and I, we don’t see each other as much as we used to, but sometimes we get together and have a good cry. It’s a strange relationship but one that I’ve learned to live with.

I am alone now, so I will wade my way through the day. But this evening when you walk through the door, I will walk straight into your arms and feel your solid weight against me. I will hold you tight and not want to let go, but the kids will need feeding, as will you. So I’ll let you go with a kiss and wait again for the night.

In the dark I will wait for you. All the words will have been said, your advice given, my acceptance of it always open to interpretation. We will have laughed – God only knows how you manage it, but you do, always. That is the beginning, the first release. My body loses a little tension with each burst of laughter until I start to feel a little human again, until I need to feel another kind of release.

So I will wait.

I will wait for the touch of your hand on my back. That long, slow sweep from my shoulders down, all the way down to my bottom. Back up and down until my eyes close and I begin to lose myself. It has never happened with anyone but you, this ability to let go so completely.

My skin will begin to tingle a little, blood and heat rushing to the surface. My legs will begin to shift, opening slightly as the heat gathers lower down. My hand will slip between my legs and I will feel the soft comfort of my fingers as they press and circle where I need them the most.

You will press gentle kisses along my heated skin, licking and nibbling a trail down to your favourite part. When you take hold of me, when you squeeze, press and pull, my breath will accelerate, my fingers will move faster and I will murmur words to spur you on.

I will bring my knees underneath me a little and lift up. A clear invitation. You will know what I need.

When your hand falls for the first time I will moan. I always do. That first hit is the sweetest for me. The one that I savour. You know it and always give me time.

I won’t want you to go easy on me – not tonight. Tonight every stroke will lighten the load. Until with my fingers working between my legs, your hand raining heat and light on my skin, I will push my face into the pillow and scream, long and loud.

You will stroke the weight of the blanket away and I will let you.

I will turn my head on the pillow, gasping for breath and you will move over me to kiss the tears away as I whisper, “thank you.”

Thanks for reading.

For more Masturbation Monday goodness head over to Kayla’s place.