They’re rolling out the guns again, hurroo, hurroo

They’re rolling out the guns again, hurroo, hurroo

They’re rolling out the guns again,

But they never will take our sons again

No, they never will take our sons again

Hugo, I’m swearing to ye

The mournful ode, about a limbless, broken soldier returning home to a shattered wife, and sung to the same melody as the American Civil War song “When Johnny Comes Marching Home”, seems like a fitting coda to the career of the iconic, ironic male feminist, mental patient and porn Professor Hugo Schwyzer.

The manic self-expulsion of Mr. Schwyzer from the femme-o-sphere triggered nuclear levels of rage, shame and destruction to the people and edifices of that already blighted, benighted realm. As Mr. Schwyzer’s painful tweets spiraled out, Jill Filipovictim, the hoary proprietrix of Feministe, made a critical mistake: she tried to silence Mr. Schwyzer (in full accord with standard feminist supremacist practice), but she did so in such a way that her act of dominance was misinterpreted by the uncharitable to seem like she might possibly have some genuine human compassion for a feminist man.

Specifically, Filipovictim tweeted:

[box]

Jill Filipovic‏ @ JillFilipovic 9 Aug

@ hugoschwyzer @ jessicavalenti Hugo, if this is really you and not a hack, please, close your laptop and call your therapist. Please.

[/box]

Oh, no, you didn’t! This huge breach of feminist etiquette, saying “please” to a man, twice in one tweet, touched off a huge negative reaction among the so-called “WOC” (“Women of Color”) who forever haunt the fringes of the white-feminist-industrial-complex.

Blogger Mikki Kendall was credited by the Washington Post as being the first to attempt to co-opt the victim narrative by shaming Filipovictim for appearing to have compassion for a man instead of WOC feminists. Other feminists joined the scrum, and the hashtag #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen was created to whip privileged white pudenda to the back of the bus.

In a video for Huffpost, Kendall makes no secret of her hatred for white feminists of both genders: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/13/solidarityisforwhitewomen-creator-mikki-kendal-women-of-color-feminism-_n_3749589.html

The tartly named Red Light Politics tumblr made the seemingly non-germane case for the furor over a kindness being a race thing: This IS about race when the white editors that published him either did not bother to do basic background research to see how he had systematically picked on non white women or, if they did the background research they decided that these women were disposable and a fair price to pay in exchange of the click bait and page views he brought.

Filipovictim, caught with her privileged, shit-stained thong around her cankles, gleefully admitted her compassionate error: Understandably, that was taken as my showing concern for Hugo when, for the past year and a half, I had been silent about him even as many women repeatedly expressed their need for feminists to collectively stand up and push back against him.

Arch your back, Jill.

Hugo, of course, was so appalled that the victim narrative he had so carefully cultivated was snatched away from him that he sought out the man-o-sphere blog GLPiggy.NET to reveal that he was the only male feminist to use Game (a form of pickup artistry) to seduce feminists:

He said that other male feminists merely took all their cues from women. “They weren’t doing anything, they were too chickenshit.” They only talked about violence against women, he said. Hugo tended to focus on female sexual empowerment or on belittling men. The latter worked and was vetted by prominent outlets, and that’s one part of the story here. The prominent male feminists “weren’t edgy; they weren’t sexy” he said. And then the bombshell for me: “It’s about having Game.” “I took Game to the feminist world,” he said at one point. Hugo said he made fun of Game as presented in the “Manosphere” because he was a natural at it.

So, Hugo is now spinning himself as some sort of Agent Creamsicle, penetrating deep into the monologues of feminism to foment a civil racial jello (jelly) fight.

He did this by turning the privilege narrative against itself, and the white feminists are livid that our Agent Creamsicle has undone their hegemony over the perpetual victim status that lines their purses and pads their backfat at the expense of the race-based civil rights movement that was overwhelmed in the feminist quest for Plan B, mani-pedi’s and abortions.

SHHHH! Don’t tell the feminists about our evil plans to insert more male feminists into their ranks, because our undercover operatives at FreeThoughtBlogs are beginning their stealth campaign to undermine the credibility of false rape claims. Fortunately, other prominent man-sites are providing cover stories that we all hate Hugo and all those like him, too.

But if you are reading this, feminists, just remember: just because you regret going to bed with Hugo Schwyzer doesn’t mean it wasn’t consensual. You’re the ones who spread your page views open wide for his two-fingered click bait. And, since you’re already up, could you score us another bag of popcorn, please?