I’m not a fan of dogs. Why you ask? Because dogs are dicks. Every dog I’ve ever known has been a horrible little untrained shit. And while I know that this isn’t all they can be, I also know that getting beyond this takes effort. And I know people. People are as lazy as me. Certainly too lazy to teach an animal to not be an asshole. And thus I have a cat, who’s as indifferent to my guidance as he is disdainful. At least then I don’t feel culpable when he’s being a dick.