China’s State Council. Every year, the U.S. State Department issues a report documenting human rights violations worldwide. China does not appreciate the attention. In its own annual tradition, it throws the report back in America’s face. This year, it got particularly creative, with words so poetic they belong in a Trump inaugural. “With the gunshots lingering in people’s ears behind the Statue of Liberty, worsening racial discrimination and the election farce dominated by money politics, the self-proclaimed human rights defender has exposed its human rights ‘myth’ with its own deeds.” North Korea also piled on, remarking in its own response to the U.S. report, “‘health insurance’ has become a legal tool for emptying the people’s purses.”

German Deputy Chancellor Sigmar Gabriel. While others go around comparing Germans to Nazis, the Germans have been getting down to business. When informed that Donald Trump had complained that Germans weren’t buying American cars, Gabriel hit back with what qualifies for a sick burn in German politics. How can the U.S. get into the German market? “The U.S. needs to build better cars.”

Russian Defense Minister Sergey Shoigu. After the U.K. warned Russia against “sticking its paws” in Libya, where the presence of Russian forces has recently been reported, Russia’s defense minister opted to extend the animal metaphors. “What do they [the U.K.] have on their coat of arms? A lion, I guess. There is an old saying: all lions are felines, but not all felines are lions.” It sounds like someone isn’t a fan of Larry the Cat.

Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte. Duterte is like a reverse Michelle Obama. When his opponents go high, he goes low. After the European Parliament criticized the Duterte’s government for the human toll of its drug war, Duterte literally raised his middle finger and offered a choice four-letter word to the EU: “Fuck you.” But lest Europeans feel singled out, Duterte has also told Singapore and the United Nations to do the same.

This article has been adapted from Matt Peterson’s weekly newsletter for Eurasia Group, Signal.

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