Ed Masley

The Republic | azcentral.com

Brian "Head" Welch had just turned 37 when he published his first memoir, “Save Me from Myself: How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story” in the summer of 2007.

If a title ever said it all, it’s that one.

Welch had no interest in writing a book about his life. It was a former manager’s idea.

Welch recalls, “He said, ‘You need to tell your story. It’s real controversial. You left Korn, and people don’t understand. They think you’ve gone crazy. So, why don’t you just tell your whole story and how you got here.’ ”

So, he did. And it not only hit the New York Times Bestsellers list, it inspired a clean version titled “Washed By Blood: Lessons from My Time with Korn and My Journey to Christ” for younger readers.

He’s since rejoined his former bandmates, with whom he’s returning to Phoenix on a co-headlining tour with horror-rock legend Rob Zombie. And his current manager felt that reunion warranted a second memoir.

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As Welch recalls, “He was like, ‘OK, you went back to Korn. It’s real controversial. People need to understand what’s going on.’ So, that’s why we did it. At first, with both books, I was like, “Man, I don’t want to do that.’ I’m not, like, a writer. I was never good at school. None of that stuff. And then when I thought about it, prayed about it, I was like OK, this needs to happen.”

Published in May, “With My Eyes Wide Open: Miracles & Mistakes on My Way Back to Korn” brings readers up to date, including details of his life here in the Valley, where he and his daughter Jennea lived from 2005 to 2010.

As he writes in the book: “It was a fresh start. Just the two of us. I bought us a beautiful little three-bedroom house right at the base of a rocky, Arizona desert-looking mountain. It was a great neighborhood with nice families and close to a solid school system. Typical suburbia. Very stable and very normal. In fact, the only weird thing in the whole neighborhood was me."

Welch checked in by phone to talk about the book, his reunion with Korn and what fans can expect from their first album since 2013’s “The Paradigm Shift.” Here’s what he had to say.

Question: Was this book easier to write on any level?

Answer: Yes and no. The first book was harder because I didn’t know what I was doing and I was driving myself crazy. I’m kinda OCD, so I wanted it as perfect as I could get it. And emotionally, the first one was really hard in some spots, but I cried more writing this one because reliving the bad stuff I went through with my daughter was just brutal. Remembering those days and detailing them out, there were tears shed. I don’t think I shed any tears on the first one. It was just like, "Ew, I did that?"

Q: The subtitle is "Miracles & Mistakes on My Way Back to Korn." What were the miracles?

A: Just how the whole thing came together, the financial stuff I went through. I was an idiot with my money and then miracle provisions were right there. I didn’t know where I was gonna live, then I would meet someone and they would have a connection. The miraculous provision of the people that would fall into my life at the perfect time, the people that are like family now for my daughter and me. They were there at the perfect time when I was going back to Korn. All those little miracles add up to me.

Q: So, what were the mistakes?

A: Well, I just mentioned the financial idiot mistakes I made. Oh man. I’ve talked to people that are like, "I can’t believe you did that stuff. I was reading your book." And I’m like, "I know. I’m an idiot." But I was so obsessed with money before. And when I was able to stop the drinking and the drugs, that kind of stopped the obsession with money, to the point where I didn’t really care. I was like “OK, I found my faith." I used to laugh at the thought of God but now I know God is real and I know he’ll take care of me. So I was like, “Who cares? If I give it to this guy, he’ll make it grow. Here’s the money.’ So those were big mistakes and just the anger and depression that I dealt with and let explode around my daughter when she was growing up.

Q: How were you able to get some control over the anger you just mentioned?

A: You know what? I tried and tried and tried. I did some crazy things to try to get rid of the anger. I mean, one time, when I was a year out of Korn, just on my own, I had a guy who knew a woman who did exorcisms (laughs). I was out my mind. But I was like, well, maybe she can cast out a demon from me or something. I went to counseling. And I was like, “Why does it keep coming back? I’m doing everything I can to get rid of it.” I’d get so frustrated. And then I’d just get more upset. It would go away for a few weeks but it would always come back. Something would set me off. As soon as I found help for my daughter and she got into that place and I knew she was being taken care of, it seemed like it melted away. I felt like I wasn’t alone anymore. Now, it’s rare that I get really angry. So, I’ve come a long a way. A lot of guys struggle with anger. We’re just dudes. And we get pissed.

Q: What led you to explore a spiritual solution to your problems?

A: I was at a last resort. Doctors couldn’t help me. My willpower couldn’t help me. I was in the gutter, and I needed help. And this family fell into my lap at the perfect time. They ended up inviting me to go to church with them. And like I said, I had made fun of this stuff before, but I found out that this guy Jesus came around and said he was the son of God. They put him on a cross and he was crucified for all our sins. Then he was raised up. And I found out that these people believe that this guy who was raised from the dead, you can have a relationship with him. You can’t see him but he’ll totally prove that he’s real. The normal man in me was like, “I call BS on this. It’s crazy.” But the other side of me was like, “I’m desperate. I need to try this. If it doesn’t work, I’ll try something else.” So I tried it and he proved to me that he’s the son of God. And that’s what got me going.

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Q: Having gotten into Christianity, gotten clean and turned your life around, did you have reservations about diving back into the rock and roll lifestyle with Korn?

A: If it was a crazy party still, I would not have gone back. I mean, I’m around parties and we go to bars sometimes. I hang out with my friends and some of them drink mildly, but if there was, like, cocaine and bong rips thrown in my face every day, I couldn’t do it. It’s not the atmosphere I want to be around. So yeah, I was nervous. But once I met with the guys and reconciled with them, I was like, “Wow, they don’t care about that anymore.” It was a been there, done that type of thing. Some of them have young kids. They’re still poppin’ out new kids, so it’s a different atmosphere. It’s not like, “Let’s get wasted and send our crew guys out to get, like, 50 girls backstage.” It’s different now that people care about their families and want their marriages to actually not end in divorce. They want to be good dads. They aren’t killing themselves anymore. And it’s been really cool. Everyone is focused on the music and the fans and just keeping this band together.

Q: How were you able to reconcile and set aside whatever tension may have been there?

A: My daughter turned into a teenager and started liking rock music. She liked Evanescence and Staind and Chevelle and all these bands. So, I ended up taking her to a show where all three of those bands were playing, and Korn ended up playing last that night. So I was just gonna go and do my thing, go out to the soundboard and watch Korn out there. But they found out I was there and asked me to come and hang out. So I went and I saw (James) "Munky" (Shaffer) for the first time in eight years and we just conversated. He looked at me and my daughter and it kind of made sense, everything that happened. So talking to him and seeing how clear he was, it was a meant-to-be type thing, the right place at the right time. Then they asked me to go do a meet and greet with them, to go sign autographs for fans. And I was just like, “Man, that’s weird. That was, like, a lifetime ago.” So I did that. Then, they asked me to come onstage and play "Blind" with them and I said sure. I went up there and it was so intense. All the bands I mentioned earlier and even more were all on the side of the stage watching. A lot of people were in tears. At first I resisted it. I was like, nah, I’m doing my own thing. I don’t want to get on that crazy train again. The Korn train never stops touring, and I just didn’t want to do that. But the next thing you know, I started thinking about it more. Me and Munky were in communication on the phone and it just worked out.

Q: Do you feel like your relationship with them is maybe stronger now than it was in the initial run?

A: Oh YEAH. There’s like … Dude, it’s so much stronger. Before, there was nothing there except, like, “Let’s get wasted” every night. And we’d try to make business decisions with the managers. But they did most of it, and we were babied by these people that were taking care of the little baby rock stars getting wasted every day. So it was a trip because when I went back, we went to write that record and it was so different, just the clarity. But at the same time we’re still goofballs. We’re always messing around, laughing, doing stupid stuff, making fun of each other. That came right back right away. So that was cool.

Q: So, what’s the next move? Do you have new music in the works?

A: Oh yeah, we’ve got a new album we’re wrapping up. We’re gonna make an announcement pretty soon, in like a week or two. We’ve been working on music for a year. I can’t say much now about it just because I’ll get in trouble (laughs).

Q: But there is an album?

A: Yeah. And Munky just revealed that Corey Taylor from Slipknot for the first time, and we’ve known those guys for so long, he did a song with us.

Q: And when did you say this would be coming out?

A: We haven’t figured out a date. But yeah, it’s coming out. We’ve got two tours coming up. We’re going out with Zombie, then we’ve got three weeks off before we start with Breaking Benjamin.

Q: Is the new stuff kind of picking up where you left off on "The Paradigm Shift?"

A: No way. Not even. It’s definitely a flashback to the past. A guitar-heavy record. We really focused on the guitars, me and Munky. It’s definitely a more aggressive record and there’s a lot less electronics on it. There’s still some but I just think it blended really well and the sounds are amazing. The electronics that are there are really minimal. So it’s different than the last one. Very much heavier. And I’m a metalhead so I love it.

Q: Are you playing any new songs on this tour?

A: Yeah, the album won’t come out for a while but we’re gonna throw one at a time in over these next couple tours, so it’s gonna be fun. We’re excited for a new chapter, you know?

Q: You talk about the move to Phoenix in the book and how it was a fresh start, but how did you decide that this is where you wanted to make that fresh start. What brought you here in particular?

A: Well, all the money problems that I had? The guy who took control of all the finances, I met him. So it actually ended up being a negative thing, why I moved to Phoenix. But I liked it there. I’ve got good memories with my daughter. We lived in Paradise Valley when she was growing up and then when she hit junior high, we moved to Scottsdale. That’s when I lost the house and everything. So it was just the type of thing where I met someone and he had a connection with some studios and I was like, yeah, I want to get out of California and just do something new. So I did that for a while. It’s kind of bittersweet memories in Phoenix.

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Korn with Rob Zombie

When: 7:30 p.m. Saturday, July 23.

Where: Ak-Chin Pavilion, 2121 N. 83rd Ave., Phoenix.

Admission: $25-$69.50.

Details: 800-745-3000, ticketmaster.com.