1. Prelude 1: Easier Than You Think 2. Prelude 2: The Crossover Rap 3. Prelude 3: The Shepherd Is Here Again 4. Prelude 4: The Red Sign Musical Act 1 5. Prelude 4: The Red Sign Musical Act 2 6. Prelude 4: The Red Sign Musical Act 3 7. Prelude 4: The Red Sign Musical Act 4 8. Prelude 4: The Red Sign Musical Act 5 9. Prelude 5: Destroy the Masquerade! 10. Prelude 6: What a Nightmare! What a Week... 11. Act 1: An End to a Different Dream 12. Act 2: If It Were not for You 13. Act 3: Ten Million Ways 14. Act 4: Fashion, Raves and Snakes 15. Act 5: Where Did We Go Wrong? 16. Act 6: My Childer 17. Act 7: Earth, Blood and Darkness 18. Act 8: Ugly Heart 19. Act 9: Uncle G! 20. Act 10: OH! You Heroic Gangrel Man! 21. Act 11: Good Times & Debate 22. Act 12: Contingency Plans and Desperatio... 23. Act 13: Finale Part 1 24. Act 13: Finale Part 2 25. Epilogue Next >



"EASIER THAN YOU THINK"

or "The Birth of Clan Tremere"



Tremere is sitting in his study, looking gloomy. Etrius and Goratrix are standing in front of him. Tremere starts to sing in a sad tone



TREMERE:

Magic is waning, I guess we are screwed

And even a guy who's as wily and shrewd

as I must confess

it's a horrible mess

Can nobody lighten my mood?



Etrius brightens up



ETRIUS:

Fear thee not master, for I have good news:

I've found a lot of good demons to use!



TREMERE:

We tried them all, Swede

They're not what we need!



ETRIUS & TREMERE: (in a defeated tone)

Is our house destined to lose?



Goratrix jumps in with a HUGE grin and maniacal handwaving, as the melody becomes more upbeat and the chorus kicks in



GORATRIX:

It really is much easier than you think

I have found the perfect solution

It really is much easier than you think

(Glares at Etrius who glares back)

And this one is not an illusion

Vampires sure are strong

And their powers carry on

So let's go take a long deep drink

It really is much easier than you thii-iink!



Goratrix does the "jazz hands" and a slower tempo resumes



Etrius starts to circle Goratrix, looking worried



ETRIUS:

'Trix must be joking, he sure has some balls

(Goratrix flinches)

What if we lose our immortal souls?



Tremere stands up and spreads his arms



TREMERE

Shut up, it sounds great

If it's not too late

All seven, go into his halls!



Change of scenery into Goratix's chamber, where Tremere and his Inner Circle have circled a bound and gagged Tzimisce. They dance around it menacingly, waving really cheesy wands and looking more like Harry Potter wizards than evil medieval warlocks



TREMERE AND INNER CIRCLE:

It really is much easier than you think

We'll simply steal your vampiric powers

It really is much easier than you think

True Magick's not just puppies and flowers

With our ritual by 'Trix

We'll get some major kicks

And we'll be skating in the undead rink

It really is much easier than you thii-iink!



There's a huge flash and a puff of pink smoke. When the smoke clears everyone looks much paler and kind of surprised



ETRIUS: (in a voice seething sarcasm)

Look at us now 'Trix, this is really swell

I guess this shit means that we're going to hell.

And other vamps hate us

They'll simply filet us

What can we do now, pray tell?



Tremere launches in to the C-part of the song while patting Etrius on the back with one hand and grabbing Meerlinda's butt with the other.



TREMERE:

Cement our place as a clan

If others can do it we can

And I have a brilliant plan



Cue a montage in which various members of Clan Tremere diablerize lots of different vamps. Tremere keeps singing on the background the whole time



TREMERE:

The powerful ones we shall seek

From their havens so lonely and bleak

Without that old blood we'll be weak



Last scene in the montage is the diablerie of Saulot, during which Tremere sings:



TREMERE:

The best I have saved for the last

Our destiny approaches fast

(A Grinch-esque grin spreads on his face)

And Salubri... belong in the past



With that he diablerizes Saulot while Etrius and Goratrix wave lighters in the air and go: "Aa-aah, Aa-aah"



TREMERE:(Spoken)

It is done.



Tremere and Goratrix leave the haven, taking dance-steps and humming 'Easier than you think' cheerily. Etrius stands alone looking at Saulot's ashes. The chorus tone starts to play, much sadder and slower than before.



ETRIUS:

It really must be easier than I think

And now we have the power and the might

It really must be easier than I think

But somehow this small scheme just isn't right

When Tremere took his blood

He didn't fight quite as he should

And I saw his third eye ominously wink!



Shocked silence for a second, and then, with great anguish and passion:



Oh could it be?

God, tell me could it be?

It's really not as easy as they thii-ii-iink?



Fade to black, then a giant text:

"GEHENNA: THE MUSICAL. COMING FEB '04"



