Knowing how to feel good is hard and it usually happens is a conditioned manner.

You feel good when you buy yourself a new product. You feel good when you eat that delicious hamburger. You feel good when you listen to that song. You feel good when you are surrounded by friends.

Some of these examples are positive because, for example, it is actually recommended to feel good when you are around your friends. But what happens when your friends aren’t there? What happens when you change town or when your friends are too busy to see you for a whole month?

That’s the tricky part. While society is telling us to feel good when X happens, we may end up not feeling good at all when X doesn’t happen anymore. Therefore, it’s important to learn how to feel good when nothing happens in your life.

What if you could feel good no matter what?

You are jobless and you didn’t get any of the past 5 interviews you went through. All your friends are out of town for the next two weeks. You have no passions and don’t know what to do with your time and energy. You can’t eat at your favorite restaurant anymore because you’ve got sick last time you ate there.

The situations could go on. And it can become worse and worse. But what if …

What if, despite all these things, you could feel good about yourself?

Feeling good about yourself …

Yourself …

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You and your happiness shouldn’t have anything to do with anything that’s external. Your friends, the food that you eat, your job shouldn’t be decisive for how you feel. Yes, they are important parts of your life but you should feel good either you have them or not.

Don’t get me wrong. Having a job where you do what you love is great. Having friends who value the same things you do is great too. Being able to afford the things that you want is even better. But you shouldn’t feel anything but great when they’re not part of your life.

If you feel good when the situation is bad, things will improve

Things are pretty simple. If the situation is bad and you start feeling negative emotions, those negative emotions will destroy your perspectives any block any energy that your body could generate so you can build towards a better life.

While dreaming about a better life is part of a vision, having a better life is part of a process. Before you can start building a better life and get yourself involved in the process, you need to feel good about yourself.

Do you remember the last time you cried?

I bet you were so emotionally impacted that you couldn’t think about anything but the thing or person that made you cry.

Being able to think properly about that better life that you dream of is crucial and you can’t think properly when you don’t feel good about yourself. When you are in a situation when you can clearly think about the better life you desire, you are able to focus on the actions that will take you there.

That is why, when the situation is bad, it is important to think clearly and not let your process of thinking impacted by negative emotions.

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Having clarity is an important part of feeling good about yourself

Do you know who you are? Do you know where you want to go? More importantly, are these things crystal clear to you?

When these things are clear to you, nothing will stop you. Actually, when you know who you are and where you want to go and you’ll encounter a bad situation, your mind won’t get messy anymore.

Usually, if the negative emotions change the positive thoughts into negative ones it means that the positive thoughts aren’t clear or powerful enough to keep their core structure.

Therefore, if you want to always feel good about yourself, make sure you have clarity. Make sure it is clear to you who you are and where you want to go.

With love and optimism,

David

Follow @davidtheoptimist on Instagram