RAD. Your eyes become as glazed in mysticism as the rocks you delicately but firmly crush under your meaty, juice-filled thighs. Glazed in mysticism. Almost like donuts, you know?

「Take that, Earth. I only do leg day so I can crush you with great power and courage.」

Oh rock, you please me.

「Good thing gravity is working right now, or else I’d be falling straight into Jupiter’s atmosphere. Phew.」

RECEIVING※TRANSMISSION伝達-

B r a i n here. Not Brian. Thanks to my very accurate and meticulous calculations, I am doing an excellent job at making sure you don’t die a perilous death doing something as senseless as climb on top of a large rock. Yeah, check out the accuracy of these nerves. Yeah dude, I totally control you. My nerves are all over you. But yo, what’s the point of rocks? It’s not like, we came from them, or something. PFFFFFFT. Go do something useful like pretending to be a potato on a couch while staring at a screen.

END※TRANSMISSIONデータ

「Shut up brain! I’m trying to be one with nature. Or would it be better if I tried to become three with nature? I’ve got it! I’m trying to become sixty-nine with nature. Yin and Yang, dawg. Climb up the cliff, fall right off it, dawg. Become the cliff. So-to-speak. So-to-do.」

You’ve got issues.

Visual representation of sanity.

「Excuse me, organic noodle. I have none of these “issues” you speak of. Magazines are out of style, peasant. I’m all about reading nonsense on the internet, like the rest of my Earth homies. Maybe one day I’ll give books a chance. Will it be better for my eyeballs if I stare at printed pixels rather than pixelated pixels? Perhaps. Maybe next life.」

You can imagine the endless back-and-forth between you and your best four-lobed friend as you’re climbing this damn rock. It’s a tough life, you know!? Please understand. Having a brain is not the easiest of privileges. It’s like constantly playing a new game on your Game Boy; you’re constantly obsessed with it yet never know what to expect. It can be really good or it can be total shit.