PHILADELPHIA—Speaking to reporters after suffering a setback with lingering injuries, 76ers center Andrew Bynum admitted Wednesday that the intense pain in his knees was completely worthwhile considering all the misery it’s causing the Philadelphia fan base. “I’d easily take a full season of this just to keep watching all these assholes crying and whining on message boards,” said Bynum, adding that every bitching sports talk radio host makes him wish he could go through surgery all over again. “Do you think I would have admitted that I hurt myself while bowling if it wasn’t this fun to make these Philly fans suffer? God, this is way better than trying to bring these awful people a championship.” As of press time, the Eagles have announced they will re-sign head coach Andy Reid to a four-year deal just to see the look on their fucking fans’ faces.

Advertisement