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In the thriller Bad Samaritan (out May 4), David Tennant pays a rich serial killer named Cale Erendreich whose next intended murder victim is found bound and gagged at Erendreich’s house by a burglar, Sean (Robert Sheehan). Sean calls the cops, but belatedly, which doesn’t just clue Cale in to Sean’s knowledge about his homicidal ways — it gives Cale time to stash his victim away. “He gets stuck in my crosshairs,” says Tennant. “And I set out to ruin his life.”

All of which leads us to wonder: If someone burglarized the Doctor Who and Broadchurch star’s house, what’s the strangest thing they would find?

“Oh, that’s a lovely question,” says Tennant. “It would probably be a two-foot-high pink, sparkly penis, which is a trophy my wife [actress Georgia Moffett] brought back from a production of What the Butler Saw that she was in a few years ago and has pride of place on a shelf.”