PHOTOGRAPH BY FENG LI / GETTY FOR PARAMOUNT

More humor from our Daily Shouts department.

Donald Trump's Vice-­Presidential short list was recently narrowed down to one unlikely name: the blockbuster-movie director Michael Bay. Trump is reported to have spent between two and a half and three hours, with bathroom breaks, interviewing the filmmaker behind ​“Pearl Harbor," "Armageddon,​" "T​he Rock," and the "Transformers"​ franchise ​before making his final decision.

"The role I see for Michael in my Administration is, ah, it's very off-the-map, out-of-this-world, out-of-this-universe, really," Trump said in an exclusive interview. "At first I saw him in a different role, maybe in my Cabinet, maybe as my Secretary of Visual Effects. But then I thought, why not V.P.? I considered some other public figures, too, like Oprah, but my gut told me to go with a director."

Trump, who rented a theatre in Iowa to screen Bay's feature "1​3 Hours," earlier this year, said it was the Benghazi­-themed thriller that ultimately convinced him to offer Bay the tie-­breaking vote in the Senate. "He'd of course be helpful to me in taking out Crooked Hillary, but what I'm really excited about is how he's going to change the way the world sees America. As we all know, he sees things in a completely different way than the rest of us," Trump said, poking at a globe on his desk, "and I think he's really going to blow you, and me, and all of us away, totally away."

Trump, who in an April interview with the New York Times outlined a foreign-policy doctrine of total unpredictability, then pointed to three locations where ISIS can expect to get "totally fired" while he "takes out the oil" from Iraq. "Michael filmed an asteroid on a collision course with Earth, so, with the help of Industrial Light and Magic, I think he could set up this Iraq sequence for me in a pretty great, a pretty tremendous way. He loves those fast cuts that keep you on your toes, not knowing what comes next, and that's how we'll keep the world on its toes, regarding things we may or may not blow up at places and times only we will know about. America will once again be a narrative force in the world."

"There will be bomb shots," Bay chimed in, over Skype.

"Not one but two of Michael's films are in the Criterion Collection, which means he's a very nice, a very gifted guy," Trump continued. "I think he will also be helpful with any scenarios in which America is threatened, or in which we're looking like a country of losers. A lot of the world thinks the U.S. is a big sissy—too weak, too easy to disrespect and walk out on, like an Ang Lee or a Jane Campion movie. From what I've heard, neither of those two directors are in favor of scenes of annihilation. We have to sell America to the world again, and Michael is the worldly American man to do it," Trump said, of the director of three Meat Loaf music videos.

When advisers suggested that he instead portray himself as more restrained than Hillary Clinton, Trump exploded. "You're saying Michael doesn't have range, that he's a bad, one­-note filmmaker, which I think is a very unfair, very nasty thing to say! He also has sensitivity. I think you'd be surprised what a sensitive, brave guy he is. As am I. We can do love stories—like a love story between America and Russia. I can pull some strings and make that happen. Maybe we'll get Ben Affleck in, too, get him and Matt Damon and all of them in here as a team and launch, or maybe not launch, a nuke at someone, who exactly that is I'll work out later. No spoilers!"

Other prominent Hollywood figures, including Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson, and James Cameron, had already refused Trump's offer.