#1 Never Apologise

#2 Don't Ask Questions

#3 Don't Help Others

#4 Break All the Rules

#6 Always Offend Co-Workers (in the Best and Most Inventive Way Possible)

#7 Always Mumble Your Insults

#8 Always Whisper Your Threats

#10 Never Yawn, Only Yearn

#11 Alsmiffy Can't Say the Rules

#15 Shut Your Fucking Mouth, Ross

#16 Do the Work for Us

#17 Always Know Where You're Going before You Go

#18 Everything You Think It Means Is Probably What It Means It Isn't

#34 IF WE OWN IT, THERE'LL BE PORN VERSIONS OF IT

#64 Have the Perfect Number of Blocks for the Swear Word You Are Trying to Type

#77 If It's Not Legit, It Is Legit

#78 Illegitimate Has the Word Legit in It

#78 If You Play a Level Twice, Make a Song about It (More Like: "If You Use the Same Number Twice, Fuck You Trott!")

#80 Whistle a Merry Tune When Satisfied with Progression in Hat Corp (and End with a Nice Flare)

#92 Don't Remember the Numbers

#93 The Numbers Don't Matter

#94 Discount All Rules until This Point

#95 Everything Can Be Musical in Hat Corp

#101 Read the Rules Chronologically

#102 Always Have Some Form of Illness during the Winter

#304 Ross Needs Bronze

#603 Hat Corp Doesn't Sleep