When asked for the LinkedIn reference, I found out through past co-workers this person was abruptly removed from his V.P. position and is now out of work. I am hesitant to respond as there may be the potential that this person was let go for complicated reasons.

— Anonymous

This is exactly what email was made for: to make it easy to never respond. You owe no one in this world a reference, especially of the meaningless LinkedIn variety. Don’t write back or say you are too busy at the moment. If this person doesn’t get the hint, that is just another data point in favor of your impression that he has terrible judgment. And if this makes you feel guilty, remember that, contrary to the wishes of our collective unconscious and the dramatic finales of narratives of corporate greed, slimy operators like this guy usually end up just fine.

No Way Third Way

I work closely with two different teams at my company, and often my co-workers will go through me when they need something from the other team. (No part of my job description could be interpreted as being a liaison between teams.) It ends up wasting a lot of my time and, frankly, makes me uncomfortable. It feels like I’m always the messenger in danger of getting shot. Is there a polite way to ask that I stop being treated as a middleman?

— New York City

Absolutely there is a polite way to ask that you stop being treated as the middleman, and you already know what it is. Schedule a meeting with the supervisors of both teams and say exactly what you’ve written here: “It is exciting to be part of this collaboration between both of your teams, but being a liaison per se is not part of my job description. Can we set up a more direct channel between your two groups?”

The key with this interaction, as in all interactions, is to be the opposite of defensive and keep all feelings out of it. What you’re requesting is perfectly reasonable; now request it. And remember: Triangulation in politics might be an effective short-term strategy, but in the long run it mortgages your platform to special interests. Don’t do it.

Infatuation Consultation

I work a student job on my campus where I set my own hours. I have been “in love” with one of my co-workers for, like, a year now, and he knows it. (Because I told him. While he still had a girlfriend.) He’s single now, but no moves have been made, and the outlook isn’t good for the moment. A few other people know about the situation, but not everyone. If he’s not telling anyone what’s been going on, what proportion of the office is it appropriate for me to blab to? Luckily I graduate soon, so this whole mess will be over in a few months.

— N., California

My over-the-table advice is that, of course, you should immediately cease and desist in speaking about your feelings about this or anything else in the office. It is strictly unprofessional to do so.