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RNC committee members who voted to keep mention of LGBT members as victims of ISIS in the platform pic.twitter.com/6xQgDQLiCO — Ben Jacobs (@Bencjacobs) July 12, 2016

So, the rolling shebeen is off to Cleveland at last, trying to get there in time to see what shenanigans (if any) the Never Trump incompetents try to pull in the rules committee meetings. If a major piefight doesn't break out, I'll be very disappointed. Meanwhile, though, the party's platform committee has been meeting and, boy howdy, the freak flags are flying high and proud.

Show them to us, Time.

"Pornography, with his harmful effects, especially on children, has become a public health crisis that is destroying the life of millions. We encourage states to continue to fight this public menace and pledge our commitment to children's safety and wellbeing," the amendment stated.

Porn is a public health threat, but guns are not. Got it.

An amendment offered by the Family Research Council's Tony Perkins in the subcommittee on healthcare, education, and crime offered support for the controversial practice of "conversion therapy" for children who identify as LGBT. "We support the right of parents to determine the proper treatment or therapy, for their minor children," the amendment said. Perkins originally drafted a more explicit embrace of the practice, but amended the text after consultations with top RNC officials. Perkins' amendment, which passed the subcommittee and subsequently the full committee, also calls for legislation to require parental consent for minor women to cross state lines for the purposes of obtaining an abortion.

The Quack Psychiatrist lobby must be stronger than I thought it was.

Also, folks, Tony Perkins is the leader of a recognized hate group. Maybe someone forgets to mail his invitation next time around?

An amendment that sought to argue that gay marriage "subverts child's rights to biological parent" drew condemnation from the moderate members, including an audible gasp of, "Hello, what was that?"

I think I've heard this debate before.

The committee also considered an amendment calling for allowing the teaching of the Bible as part of American History, which failed before the full group. The separate subcommittee on Restoring Constitutional Government approved its own language opposing same-sex marriage designed to dovetail with the language from the health committee, said author and GOP lawyer Jim Bopp said.

Also, there seems to have been some vigorous discussion concerning game birds. And about Oreos. USA Today kept track of the action.

The platform talks had moments of precise detail and humor. In discussing an amendment arguing that endangered species laws damage economic development, delegates discussed the fate of prairie chickens and sage grouse. A proposal to outlaw the use of government assistance to buy "junk food" inspired a debate about the meaning of the term, including the difference between Oreos and chocolate-covered Oreos. A discussion of medical marijuana invoked legendary smokers Cheech and Chong.

All this and He, Trump, too. I can't wait.

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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