Rio and Anton Ferdinand will never be football's version of the brothers Gallagher. If it is war all the time for the Oasis siblings, the relationship between the Manchester United and Queens Park Rangers central defenders was summed up in a Kampala hotel bar five years ago.

Then, in June 2007, Rio, his father, Julian, and a cousin, Max, watched as a television showed Anton crashing the 31st penalty of a marathon shoot-out against the woodwork. England Under-21s were eliminated from the European Championship when Holland converted the next kick to go to the final and, as Anton was consoled on a football field in the Netherlands, his elder brother, dad and cousin were constant in their support thousands of miles away in Uganda.

Here is just one illustration of the familial bond that has helped take the Ferdinand brothers into football's elite. On Sunday they face each other when QPR arrive at Old Trafford for the early afternoon kick-off. Rio's United go eight points ahead of Manchester City – they are at Arsenal later in the day – in the championship race if they defeat Anton's QPR, who are as desperate for victory in the scrap to avoid relegation.

Fiercely competitive on the field, they are no Cain and Abel off it. The alleged racism case involving comments made by John Terry to Anton when Chelsea were beaten 1-0 by QPR in October is heard at Westminster magistrates court on 9 July, eight days after the final of Euro 2012. Due to injury, Terry – who denies the charge – and Rio have yet to be selected in the same England squad since then so how that dynamic unfolds ahead of the championship is to be decided.

In early November, though, Rio made clear his support for his brother, younger by seven years, when he hinted that the Football Association were not offering firm leadership. His tweet: "Powers that be do make stands on certain issues I see" accompanied by the hashtag "selective", during the furore regarding whether England players could wear poppies for the friendlies with Spain and Sweden, emphasised their ties.

In an extended family with three sisters on their father's side and a brother and sister on their mother's, Rio and Anton were close before football became their lives.

A four-year-old Anton would accompany Janice, his mother, when she collected her elder son from the Central School of Ballet in Clerkenwell, London. "Anton was small, the little one who was dragged along by mum," says Cecilia Darker, who taught the future United and England captain how to pirouette. "There were three boys who came three times a week: a Vietnamese called Quang, lovely Rio, and Wayne, who was naughty. So there were three Peckham boys with all the little ballet girls of Islington and Hackney and it worked beautifully. There was a Russian teacher who took no nonsense and she had these boys standing there in tights doing ballet.

"My job was creative dance and we had fun doing a Vampire's Ball in which they used what they learned in the ballet lessons where they would jump high and land softly. Rio loved this and was well into it. He was also a bit of an actor. I remember Rio having particularly long and perfect ballet legs so he could jump really high. He did really love it.

"At the end of the year we had the meeting where mums would come and his said: 'I don't know what to do because he's got a football trial.' I said: 'You should go for football because there are a lot more dollars in footie than there would be in ballet.'

"I remember his mum showing up with this squiggly thing and Rio would say: 'Oh God where is he? Where's Anton?' Then he'd say: 'Sorry miss, what were you saying?' There was a girl in class called Josephine who I bumped into a few years ago. She said: 'We did a Russian [dance] and I was Rio's partner.' There was Rio with Josephine doing this dance that comes from Swan Lake – all bowing and curtseying. She said: 'I've got it on video somewhere.'"

A highlights reel of the brothers as footballers would show Rio in Rolls-Royce mode purring through the seasons, Anton the middling professional who learned from the brother he followed at the 2002 World Cup wearing a Rio 5 shirt.

Rio, 33, has won the Champions League, five Premier League titles, two Carling Cups and 81 England caps, and been to four World Cups. Anton has a Championship play-off final victory and an FA Cup loser's medal on his CV. Both began at West Ham United and Harry Redknapp, the manager who signed a 15-year-old Rio, recalls: "Anton was a schoolboy so he used to come training on Tuesday and Thursday nights. The mum is a big supporter of the boys, she brought them up fantastic – they're from a tough area in south London. She takes a lot of credit for their development."

Anton followed Rio and signed for West Ham while attending Blackheath Bluecoat Church of England school, as his elder sibling had. "They were both extremely passionate during their PE lessons and natural leaders at a young age," says Steve Sallis, the sports coordinator. "It was clear from as early as year seven both would be in sport and fortunately both fulfilled their potential. Both stay in touch and Anton visits regularly to see pupils and mentor."

Tony Carr, the West Ham academy director, remembers: "When Rio moved on to Leeds United [in 2000] and then Manchester United and we were playing reserve-team games he would always watch and give Anton support and say hello to us in the dressing room. He would say to me: 'How's Anton doing? What does he need to do to improve?'

"They were always a very close and caring family. That's helped them to stay as grounded as they are. It's a fantastic achievement for anyone to be a Premier League player."