Chapter Seventeen

Anna didn't know why she was expecting the Dark Room to not be booming on a Monday night, considering the last time she was here was on a Monday night. Thankfully once again she was able to find an open barstool in record time.

Strangers mingled on the dance floor and leather couches, spurred on by the purple glow, bass-boosted music, and intoxication; and the more they drank, the more desperate the mingling became. It was a carefully constructed environment to forget about old problems and make new friends, at least that's what Anna told herself when she drove over here after making a quick stop to her apartment to wash up.

Honestly, Anna didn't know any other bars or clubs and didn't know where to start looking, so she went to a place she was already familiar with, a place that was both a night club and also had a bar. To her credit, she did spend ten seconds scanning the dance floor and couches looking for someone approachable before inevitably retreating to said bar.

So maybe making new friends wasn't going to be so easy, but at least she got out of the apartment. That had to count for something, right?

"Lady, I just serve drinks. If you need someone to talk to about your problems, try one of the couches."

Anna froze in her revolving barstool, unaware that she had said that question out loud. She cleared her throat and tried to explain herself, "Sorry, uh…I've never actually been here before. Alone, I mean. It's a little intimidating, but don't worry I'll get used to it."

"Good to know.", the bartender said monotonously.

"I went here with my roommate once and we had a pretty good time, we didn't do any dancing just some drinking- she had more than I did- and I mean Rapunzel would be here with me right now if she wasn't on a date. Which I'm perfectly okay with, don't get me wrong."

"I wouldn't dare.", his face seemed to be sinking deeper and deeper into a frown with each second Anna rambled on as if they were old friends catching up.

"And not that it sucks without her here, this is a…unique establishment, and I had to do something to get out of the apartment. I spend way too much time there as it is, alone, so I had to get out of there or else I would have gone insane. Like…could you imagine just being cooped up in one place with only like one person to talk to?"

"No, I can't."

"Exactly! Like how could you? I mean you get to meet new people all the time, and it must be so exciting. I mean I get to meet people at my job all the time too, but I can't really get any connection with them since they're just there to get cookies and stuff. Here at a bar, though, you can-"

"Look lady, are you going to buy a drink or not?", the bartender interrupted, left eye visibly twitching.

Anna's cheeks flushed, realizing finally that she had been rambling this whole time and dumping all of her problems on this poor guy like he was a therapist she had held hostage. Luckily there was no one else waiting to order their drinks, or else she would have felt worse. "Sorry!", she said sheepishly, "Just get me a…uh…erm, just surprise me, I guess."

The bartender's facial expression stayed the same, still annoyed that Anna was in his field of vision. "Surprise you.", he repeated.

Anna laughed nervously, "Yeah, surprise me."

She could see it in his face that the man wanted nothing more to do with her, but at the same time wanted to tell her off for her inability to order a simple drink. She braced for both outcomes, and was left surprised when the bartender instead walked back to the shelves of alcohol instead.

Surprised, and alone.

With a heavy sigh, Anna's shoulders dropped and she looked around the rest of the bar counter with a pout. There weren't a lot of people around to talk to, and those that were there either left as soon as they got their drinks or sat with their heads low nursing drink number five out of fifty.

Not exactly the best kind of company to spark a new friendship with, which meant Anna's hopes of fulfilling the one thing she came here to do were slowly dwindling. And now that the bartender had seemingly moved on to another, more prepared patron, it meant she had succeeded in losing literally the only person she had talked to tonight.

Five minutes in, and this night out was already turning out to be as fulfilling and social as her nights in the apartment. But just as she was about to sulk out of her chair and admit defeat, someone stopped her. Not intentionally, and they didn't even make contact, but they did succeed in stopping her from leaving.

"Whiskey, neat. And just leave the bottle here."

The first thing Anna noticed was that she was a girl, the second thing she noticed that she was strangely familiar. Anna continued to eye her, telling herself it was only to pinpoint the reason why, and not because she was trying to be a creep. She had chestnut hair tied into a ponytail that just barely reached her shoulders and was wearing a jet-black tank top with blue jeans, droplets of sweat shone on her forehead, which meant that either she ran all the way here or was on the dance floor before coming to the bar.

"Thought they were supposed to be carding people up front.", the bartender remarked as he, too, stared the new girl down. Albeit less creepy and stalkerish.

When she tucked a stray hair away from her face, Anna could notice the way she frowned as if it was second nature, and the way her eyes narrowed when the bartender patronized her, and the familiarities continued to stack up. Was her mind playing tricks on her? Or was this someone she had actually met before? And if it was, then who the heck was she?

Anna got her answer when the girl pulled out her wallet, took out her ID, and barked back at the bartender, "I turned 21 a week ago, ass."

Pure nosiness took over, and Anna looked at the ID, eyes widening as she saw the name written across in black letters: Hannah.

It had been so long since Elsa had driven herself around Arendelle. She had dismissed Marshall for the day, not even giving an explanation, and true to form he simply complied, giving Elsa the privacy she wanted. The privacy she desperately needed.

Today had been, by all accounts, abysmal from beginning to end. It was baffling to even think of how each second topped the previous one in terms of baffling dreadfulness. From the second she woke up barely registering anything going around her, to when she got that damn email, to…

No. No, Elsa told herself she wouldn't do this. She told herself she wouldn't think about today anymore.

No more dwelling on what happened earlier; that's why she wanted to drive by herself in the first place, to get away from it all and try to clear her head. And there was no better place to do that than the last safe haven- besides her apartment, which had become more of a prison than anything- that she felt she had.

She gave her navy-blue tank top and black track shorts one last look in the rearview mirror, accidentally glancing at her face in the process and trying to convince herself that the darkness under her eyes was just a trick of the light. Deeming herself ready and presentable, she opened the door and walked out of her car.

Elsa had done her best to reinvent herself going into college, seemingly shaking off any semblance of who she used to be in high school; but there were some parts of her old self she just couldn't shake off, and some people.

Being on the lacrosse team was physically demanding yet greatly rewarding, and even though she opted out of joining North Mountain's team, she didn't want to give up physical activity altogether. Any time she wasn't studying, going to class, or working at ArenCorp, she spent at the gym running, lifting, doing everything she could just to stay fit. Over time it even became a cathartic, therapeutic way to deal with any issues big or small.

While she barely lifted anymore once she got out of college, she still ran any chance she got and finding a gym was a high priority for her- one that was rarely ever crowded and secluded. She found one eventually that was a bit of a drive, but it wasn't as if anyone was waiting on her. No one knew about this place, not even…no one knew about this place.

The small gym, located in the middle building of a corner dedicated to other small businesses on the edge of West Arendelle, shone bright like a beacon beckoning Elsa inside. No one was inside like she expected, save for a couple employees wiping down the equipment and the receptionist who nodded once at her. They had only spoken once when Elsa initially signed up.

Immediately she walked over to a treadmill on the far corner of the room and hopped on, doing stretches while trying to avoid looking at herself in the mirror on the opposite wall.

Two weeks, maybe three, had passed since she last came here, she knew her body would rebel the sudden change in pace and would do so painfully. But she didn't care, pain was better than the alternative.

Better than thinking about how today would have gone so much better had she just decided to stop being so damn stubborn and…

Elsa smashed the Start button with her thumb and waited as the treadmill underneath her feet came to life, bracing herself on the handles. As usual, she would start slow at first and speed it up every so often until she went from a lazy stroll to a heart pounding sprint. Her runs usually ranged from fifteen minutes to an hour.

Today though, today was different, and it wasn't because it could have gone better if she had just stopped being so damn stubborn and owned up to-

Elsa groaned and pressed the button four times, the treadmill suddenly went from its stroll-like level to a brisk jog. Today would be different, today would hurt. It had to hurt. Two minutes passed with Elsa keeping herself from pressing the button again too soon, she had to pace herself at least somewhat. Above all else these runs were supposed to help clear her head and focus only on the here and now. The here…and the now.

She pressed the button three times, hearing a protesting whirr from the machine as the mat cycled faster, she was now running at a pace she only had to reach on the lacrosse field. Her lungs burned, and her heartbeat just barely outpaced the thumping of her feet. This had to be enough to drown out the noise in her head, it had to. And for one solitary moment, it really was; all she focused on was keeping her breath steady and keeping her legs moving towards that theoretical finish line, and all she could hear was her heartbeat growing faster and faster as she herself ran faster and faster with each press of the button.

But that was all she had, a moment, and no matter how many times she pressed that damn button her thoughts kept pace with her until they overtook her. Now all she could do was think as her heartbeat climbed dangerously high and her breath grew more and more ragged.

Elsa was trapped, forced to think about how today would have gone so much better had she just stopped being so damn stubborn and owned up to the fact that she screwed up. She could have taken so many other steps not just today but every day since the festival to be at least a decent person and own up to her faults and think of someone other than herself. But she didn't, because she was a selfish, arrogant disgrace of a person who fired one of her favorite employees and…and forced Hannah to quit.

Why did she have to be like this? Why couldn't she just be the person she was in her interviews? The borderline cheery, overly professional character people saw on TV and magazines? Why did she have to needlessly keep living this stupid double life?

She was out two employees now and who knows what else this mystery person would have her do, and it was all her fault. Everything was her fault, and would always be her fault because she was a terrible excuse for a CEO, an awful mistake of a human being and-

Elsa pressed the emergency stop button on the treadmill. With a low hum the machine immediately halted and the green, glowing numbers 5:32 flashed on the screen. She gripped the handles as if they were the only thing keeping her standing, and hunched over trying desperately to catch her breath. Streams of water dripped down her face, she told herself it was just sweat.

Everything finally clicked, and Anna was finally, sorta, seventy percent sure that this was the same girl that, just a few weeks ago, she had gotten into an argument with right outside of Elsa's office. Anna couldn't help herself, she let out a gasp and exclaimed, "Hey I know you! At least I think I do, you're Elsa's assistant, right?"

Or at least that's what she wanted to say; instead all that escaped her lips was one word: "Elsa!"

Hannah immediately looked at Anna with an expression of shock and for some reason anger, like the name was the most offensive curse word imaginable. "Excuse me?", Hannah said, looking like she wanted to punch her.

"I, uh…sorry, it's just…you work for Elsa, right?", Anna asked, trying to smooth out this second impression.

Hannah continued to stare, no, glare at Anna, who was growing increasingly uncomfortable underneath her piercing brown eyes and the whirring and booming that apparently passed as music. Finally, she broke the glare and scoffed, turning back towards her drink. "Used to, I quit today.", she said as she brought the glass to her lips.

Anna was surprised, but she wasn't sure why. Was it because Hannah didn't look shaken up about it? Or was it because it meant that something big had to have happened in the two weeks since she last saw Elsa? Nonetheless, she still couldn't help but say, "That sucks, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Well don't be.", Hannah replied as she downed her glass. "I had to get out of there at some point, Elsa…she's way too complicated to be around sometimes. What sucks is that now I have to find another place to do the rest of my internship hours, but I'll figure that out later."

Despite herself, Anna let out a short laugh, "Complicated is a bit of an understatement."

Hannah poured more of the whiskey into her glass, still not looking at Anna. "Yeah? You have to do business with her before or something?"

Understandably, Anna wasn't sure how she didn't notice her yet- typically you remember the people you have screaming matches with- but she decided not to press it. Instead she, for some strange reason, replied bluntly, "No actually, we used to date."

And that got Hannah's attention and got her to look at Anna again, this time not with a glare, but with raised eyebrows. A look of curiosity, of intrigue. "Really? Elsa actually dated someone?"

"Well yeah, but it was back in high school and we broke up before the end of senior year."

"Huh, why'd you two broke up?"

Anna didn't know why she was telling her all this, and why she seemed so curious about their past relationship. All she wanted out of this conversation was to break the ice with someone that looked approachable, and these two had at least a tiny bit of history together; plus, talking to her would have been a good way to apologize for yelling at her before.

But she also didn't want to relive the history between her and Elsa again, not this soon. "It's a really long story.", Anna replied dismissively, "I'm not sure if you'd want to hear it."

"Try me.", Hannah said bluntly, pouring herself another drink.

"A-are you sure? I mean, like…it's a really long story, we'll probably be here for like…sixteen hours and I wouldn't even be halfway through with it."

"Try. Me.", Hannah repeated, more of a demand than a suggestion. "Tell you what: You tell me why you and Elsa broke up, and I'll tell you why I quit my job."

"Why…", Anna was about to ask why she would be interested in knowing why Hannah quit her job, but maybe it was probably going to be a good story. Plus it would keep the only person she'd succeeded in talking to from leaving. "Alright fine, I'll tell you."

And so, Anna told her everything, not cutting out a single detail, and you'd think retelling the story for a second time and having to relive it a fourth time would have been draining for her, but it really wasn't. In fact, the longer she went on, noticing the way Hannah had completely stopped drinking and listened intently with her head resting on her hand, the more she realized that finally having a somewhat unbiased perspective on this situation would be good for her.

She continued to talk, and talk, and talk, and before she could stop herself, Anna had moved away from talking about her relationship and breakup with Elsa, and started talking about the bakery and the incident at the festival. This new information elicited a wide-eyed expression from the girl sitting in the other barstool, and once Anna had run out of things left to say, all Hannah could respond with was a "Wow…"

"Yeah…that's our story, or at least the abridged version."

"Man, you must have some serious guts to break up with a woman like Elsa. God knows I could never do it.", Hannah stated.

Anna put on a skeptical look, wanting to ask what Hannah meant but instead all she said was, "I didn't break up with Elsa." Because apparently that was a bigger priority.

"You didn't? Huh, from your story I guess I kinda assumed that you were the one that ended things. So, then Elsa was the one that ended things?"

"Yes. I mean, no. I mean…maybe?"

"That's all three possible answers, yeah, but which one's true?"

To be honest, Anna really didn't know. It was a thought that, up until now, she had never entertained much. Who was the one that ended things between the two? Sure, Elsa was the one that walked out of her room when Anna dropped that bombshell on her, but she didn't do so with a declarative break-up statement. Or maybe walking out of the room was that statement.

But then again, Anna was the one who continued to try and make contact afterwards, and stopped after their freshman year of college. Did that put the blame on her for ending things?

Either way, she didn't want to entertain these thoughts any longer. This wasn't what this night was supposed to be about, new perspective be damned; tonight was supposed to be about meeting new, or relatively new, people and to keep herself from being a lazy, lonely bag of trash at her apartment. She'd still talk about Elsa, sure, but not about their relationship. Not anymore, at least not tonight.

Anna waved her hand and drastically changed the subject, "Too many questions, besides you told me that if I told you about the breakup, then you would spill the beans on why you quit ArenCorp."

Hannah's frown made it known that she didn't appreciate the subject change, but thankfully she didn't drag the conversation back to the messier topic. She instead shrugged and poured herself another drink, "I didn't quit ArenCorp, I just quit on Elsa. Which…I mean yeah technically that would mean quitting her company, which is ArenCorp, but everything about that place was perfect. Everything except for her."

Anna almost made a noise, but kept it to herself and continued to listen.

"I guess…I don't know, I've been working with her for over a year now and I never learned more than the bare minimum about her. And yeah, that's still more than the average worker at ArenCorp, but I was her personal assistant, I spent almost all my time with her. That should account for something, right?", Hannah didn't wait for an answer and continued, "I guess it didn't; I tried putting in some effort to get to know her better, but she just wouldn't have any of it. She made this stupid rule against 'advancing the relationship' and damn if she didn't stick to it like glue. In the year or so we spent together, she barely made any effort to get to know me."

Hannah downed the drink and pushed the bottle and glass away for the time being, with another heavy sigh she added, "She didn't even know when my birthday was…"

Anna found herself pitying this poor girl, because she didn't know the Elsa that Hannah was describing. The Elsa she knew, the one before all this ArenCorp nonsense, was so open about everything and would share anything and everything with her. Granted they were in a romantic relationship rather than a business one, but it still didn't ease the guilt she felt knowing what she had with Elsa, and knowing that Hannah wanted at least a tiny sliver of that.

This also brought a new question to the surface for Anna: What exactly was the relationship between Elsa and Hannah?

Because according to the depressed ex-assistant, it didn't really sound like it was a typical boss-employee kind of deal, Hannah was looking for more, and Elsa went out of her way to set rules blocking that sort of thing. There was more to this story, hopefully Hannah would tell her.

"Anyway, your drama with Elsa happened at the festival, right? Well mine happened after. After we got back I tried to get something out of her, anything, just to see where her head was at because something happened that night. And now I know what it is, but I'd hoped to hear it from her. Maybe if I did, then things would be different now.

Instead she just shut me out, and for two whole weeks didn't make any sort of contact at all with anybody. Apparently she took a 'vacation' but I'd bet anything that she didn't go any farther than the front door of her apartment. I tried contacting her- I mean I sent her general emails about what was going on in the company, but I hoped that would establish some sort of dialogue. Clearly it didn't."

Anna could see her eyeing the almost half-empty bottle of whiskey and instinctively moved it closer to her own side, the girl's expression was already slightly glazed over and the last thing she wanted was for her to pass out with no place to go. Plus, she wanted to hear the rest of this story.

Surprisingly, Hannah didn't protest the move and continued to speak, "So after that phony vacation, she comes back and we barely exchange any words with each other. Which…okay yeah that's on me too, I could have said something other than 'Hey', but seeing her again just brought back all that anger at something so dumb and pointless. I knew I couldn't say anything else that wasn't just me going off on her- which wouldn't be a good idea because she knows how to cut deep."

She swirled her empty glass, "Which she did anyway. Some work-related thing didn't go her way and she just…was not in the best of moods. And me, being stupid, tried to press her instead of being supportive- even though she gave me no reason to be supportive- and…well she cut deep. I knew right then that I had to get out of there, so I just walked out of her office and told her I quit. And that was that. I bet she doesn't even care that I'm gone…"

Anna swore she was sober- not a single drop of alcohol had touched her lips that entire night, thanks especially to the exasperated bartender- so there was no blaming it on the booze when she leaned over her barstool and gave Hannah the most awkward hug ever.

However, it put her in an awful conundrum. On the one hand, if she let go it would be admitting that the hug was a mistake, which would risk making Hannah feel even worse; on the other hand, if she continued the hug without any sort of reciprocation from Hannah…well then it would further cement the fact that Anna had no idea how to make friends.

Fortunately, Hannah reciprocated, if barely, with a slightly less awkward pat on her back. "Uh, thanks…I guess."

Anna pulled back and noticed a judgmental look from Hannah as if she was gauging just how insane she really was, she didn't blame her. "Sorry, it looked like you needed it.", she tried explaining, "I realize now that that was a little out of line."

"Just a little bit. But…I kinda get where you were coming from." Hannah's expression saddened in the same way it had been when she was retelling what happened between her and Elsa, "You know, I was hoping that I could spend tonight just forgetting about everything that happened; guess this just shows you can't always run from your problems."

"Well, I'm sorry if I ruined your night. I didn't mean to.", Anna apologized again.

Hannah shook her head, "Nah, it's not your fault. And I guess…I dunno, I guess it's not Elsa's fault either. Or maybe it is. This is all just one big mess, and I don't honestly know how I feel about it all; right now, all I want to do is just put it aside, at least for tonight, and just…get my mind somewhere else." She went to pour herself another drink and then stopped herself, setting it down like it had just grown mold in and out of the bottle, "I don't even want this anymore. And hey, thanks for listening to me bitch about all this stuff. It's Anna, right?"

Anna nodded, "Yup, that's me, Anna Dawson."

"Well nice to meet you, Anna Dawson.", Hannah scooted the whiskey bottle out of sight and stretched out her hand towards Anna. "The name's Hannah, Hannah Baker."

The redhead stifled a giggle, reveling in the irony over how much she wanted to change her last name to "Baker" when she was a kid, and decided against telling Hannah that she already knew her name after being nosy and reading her ID. Instead she stretched out her own hand and shook Hannah's, "It's nice to meet you too, Hannah Baker." It was also nice to successfully give off a second impression better than the first.

Hannah smiled, it was small and nothing more than courteous, but it was still better than the sulking and brooding she had been doing before. "So Anna, where you from?"

They continued to wash the taste out of their mouth from their previous awful conversation by getting to know each other a bit better. They covered topics like where they were from, what their families were like, where they went to college, and even what their favorite foods were (Anna's was chocolate, Hannah's was fish).

Time passed by fast in that night club, people came and went but the two stayed where they were, reveling in this brief moment of reprieve from their lives outside of the building.

Finally, Anna was the first to admit that it was getting a bit too late for the both of them to be out on this Monday night when she yawned and checked her phone. There was one new message from Rapunzel telling her not to stay up too late, and the irony of that message was hammered in when she noticed the time: 11:24 PM.

"Oh shoot, I have work in the morning.", Anna groaned. "I completely lost track of time."

Hannah surprised her with just how understanding she was, given how into it they both were in the conversation that they were having, "Hey it's cool if you have to go, I can just finish up my drink or something and then head back, I don't have classes tomorrow so I'll be fine."

Anna knew that had she just left the poor girl alone here, it would do a number on her conscience, plus it would put a sour end to the relationship they both established throughout the night. She felt a genuine connection to Hannah, a friendly one, and didn't want this to be the last time they saw each other; but if it was the last time, then she sure didn't want it to end with her leaving the lonely college student to drink by herself. "Where would you go back to?", she asked, all ready to offer to drive her back if it wasn't too far.

"Back to North Mountain, I haven't seen my roommates in a while anyway.", Hannah replied with a slight slur to her voice.

North Mountain, Anna calculated, was almost an hour drive at best. Even if she was able to get Hannah back there, it would be midnight and she was already beat from work today, who knows if she would be any shape to get herself back home. She had to think up another solution and did so, and even though it was a little bold and bit too forward, Anna had to try. "That's really far, Hannah…why don't you just stay at my place? It's close by, and I can drive us both."

Hannah surprised her again by not rejecting the idea outright, looking away for a second as if she was seriously pondering it, and then finally giving a hopeful reply, "You sure you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't mind, you're in no shape to get back by yourself. I mean what else are you gonna do?"

"I could call an Uber."

"And spend even more money tonight? No way."

"I could sneak back into ArenCorp and sleep in Elsa's office, she has a bed there and I still have the key."

"Yeah, the last thing you want is for Elsa to find you in her office hungover." Anna didn't even question why Elsa would have a bed in her office in the first place, although it did sound like something she would do.

"I could…walk?"

"Absolutely not! Now come on, get your butt up and come with me, you can stay at my place and leave first thing in the morning if you have to, but there's no way I'm going to leave you alone tonight. You're drunk and...yeah, you're drunk." Anna decided not to imply out loud that Hannah might be depressed. She stood up from her barstool and, much like Hannah had earlier, stretched out her hand. Not for a handshake, but for an invitation for help she hoped the girl would take.

Hannah looked at the outstretched hand, back at her half-empty bottle, and then right into Hannah's eyes, seeing nothing less than genuine benevolence. With a sigh, she finally conceded and took Anna's help to get out of her barstool and go with her. "Fine…you've convinced me."

The drive back was contrastingly quiet, Hannah barely spoke as she slipped in and out of consciousness, and Anna didn't speak as she forced herself to try and not do the same so she could focus on the road in front of her. Thankfully the drive wasn't too long and before she knew it they were at the driveway.

Anna helped Hannah out of the car, the drowsiness finally overtaking the younger girl along with the alcohol, making her incapable of walking without some support. Once they got inside the dark apartment, Anna maneuvered them around the kitchen/living room, kept Hannah from tumbling over the couch, and ducked over a string of lights she reminded herself to hang back up tomorrow. With her free hand, she opened her room and decided against turning on the lights so to not wake up the already half-unconscious girl in her other arm, she knew the layout of her room well enough anyway to walk through it in the dark.

She placed Hannah gingerly on the bed- a tough feat considering there was no bedframe and she had to literally squat to get her on without dropping her- and took off her shoes. As she did so, she heard Hannah mumble out something that sounded like "You really didn't have to do this."

"I know, now get some sleep.", Anna replied softly. Despite the protest, Hannah cuddled up to her blanket right away and let out a content sight. It was kind of adorable, really.

Anna heard her name being called as she grabbed a spare blanket from her dresser and turned around. Hannah's eyes were still closed, at least they looked like they were in the pitch black of her room, but her mouth wasn't. With a completely sober yet groggy tone, Hannah spoke again, "Elsa's not a bad person. That night after the festival…she really wanted to just blame herself for everything, I could see it, but it wasn't all her fault. Life would be so much easier if we all just owned up to all the shit we do. She's really not that bad."

Before she left the room Anna accepted those words, and she replied softly to herself, "I know…"

A/N: Before you get your New York Knickerbockers in a twist, a Hannah/Anna romantic relationship isn't happening. Good writers can create good conflict without having to resort to a dumb love triangle. Not saying you're a crap writer if you use a love triangle in your story, and I'm not saying that I'm a good writer.

So I guess…I really don't know what I'm saying.