How to HUMP! A Guide to the Film Festival Where Everyone Is Sexy and Porn Isn't a Dirty Word

Fuck on the Mount, Chip Duggan

Let's talk about HUMP!, bay-bee! Click here for tickets and line-up.

HUMP! is the world-renowned amateur porn film festival featuring a collection of hot shorts submitted by enthusiastic amateurs just like YOU! Created and curated by everyone's favorite sex-advice columnist, Dan Savage (crowd goes wild), and your favorite local alternative weekly newspaper (The Stranger, natch), HUMP! is pornography by the people, for the people, and the Pacific Northwest's number one source for organic, homegrown erotica. It's showing November 3–6 at SIFF Cinema Uptown and November 9–13 at On the Boards.

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In its 12th year, we still think HUMP! is the best fucking (literally) film festival in the universe. And the laughs, sex, dicks, kinks, boatloads of come, and cash prizes have only gotten bigger and better. So whether you're a seasoned veteran or a virginal newbie, here's how to do HUMP! right.

LEAVE YOUR JUDGMENT AT THE DOOR

During HUMP! you will laugh, scream, be turned on, hide your eyes in shock, and absolutely learn something new. And that's because this year's lineup is going to show you things you never knew existed, never imagined could be sexy, and would NEVER click on if you were looking to get off in the privacy of your own home. But what is life without variety? Be brave. The filmmakers were brave enough to have sex on film for you to watch. So why not be bold for 90 minutes and enjoy what they have to share?

BE SEX-POSITIVE

Porn should represent everyone, and HUMP! is a porn democracy! It's about the freedom to show off who and what you're into without fear or hesitation. You don't have to have big fake boobs or a massive schlong to do it. We've got tons of spunk, spank, kink, style, grace, and a rainbow of hot sex to tickle every size, shape, gender, color, and preference. That being said, keep any negative body/sex shaming garbage out of your mouth like a respectful adult!

DITCH THE PHONE

We ask all audience members to turn their phones all the way off during HUMP! to insure the anonymity of our filmmakers. We don't want any photos, videos, Snaps, or sound clips to leave the theater, because these filmmakers want to be porn stars for the weekend—not for the rest of their lives on the internet. So take a deep breath and unplug for the screening. Your phone will still be there when the show is over. If we see your phone on during the show, we will take it from you and we won't give it back. We're that serious.

REACT

At HUMP! we encourage you to have a natural reaction to the things you see on the big screen. If something is hot, give it a whoop! If something is funny, laugh! If something is shocking (and let's be real, some of it is), gasp! And if something really freaks you out, just close your eyes for a few minutes. By the time you open them, a new film will be playing to titillate you!

PREPARE TO SEE SOMEONE YOU MIGHT KNOW

This year we had nearly 100 film submissions from businesspeople, fisherpeople, puppy players, puppeteers, animators, sewer dwelling radioactive turtles, mail carriers, comedians, and more. We received globetrotting entries from as far away as Berlin and the UK, but the majority of the entries still come from our home in the good ol' Pacific Northwest. That means if you live in Portland or Seattle, you might see someone you know! What should you do if you see your neighbor, friend, or coworker on the screen? Enjoy the momentary voyeurism and give them a knowing high-five the next time you see them!

NERVOUS? BRING A FRIEND, DRINK A DRINK

At some point during the show, you might need a pal to turn to and give a wide-eyed stare of shock, or a sexy side-eye. It's fine to go it alone, but HUMP! is best enjoyed in a group and slightly (repeat: SLIGHTLY) lubricated—so grab your squad and a drink!

PERV OUT (APPROPRIATELY)

If watching porn in a theater surrounded by hundreds of strangers seems a little pervy—that's because it is. But it's also fun! And it's good for building a sex-positive society! So enjoy the unique experience.

KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED

If you're wondering if these films were made especially for your HUMPing eyeballs and this festival, many of them were. So be on the lookout for this year's extra-credit items: a "Make America Great Again" hat (we encouraged filmmakers to avoid giving any money to Donald Trump by making or buying a knockoff) and an accordion. Imagine the possibilities!

VOTE!

Put aside your election-related angst and vote for your favorite films at the end of the screening. The winners will receive huge cash prizes awarded by audience ballot, and this year's categories and prize packages are:

Jury Award (chosen by those who curated HUMP!): $1,000

Best Humor: $2,000 First Prize, $1,000 First Runner-Up

Best Sex: $2,000 First Prize, $1,000 First Runner-Up

Best Kink: $2,000 First Prize, $1,000 First Runner-Up

Best in Show: $5,000 Grand Prize

The Little Merman, by Potato

JUST STFU AND DO IT ALREADY

HUMP! is porn for women. It's porn for men. It's LGBTQIA and straight. It's porn for cis and trans, kinky and vanilla, big and small. COME ONE, COME ALL! HUMP! IS PORN FOR EVERYONE. We know you'll love this year's lineup as much as we do, and here's a sneak peek at the films you'll be seeing at the 2016 edition of HUMP!

The Forbidden Tango

It takes two to tango—and these sexy boys really love to dance. Clean up on aisle dance floor!

Fuck on the Mount

An adventurous couple shows off their acroyoga and oral skills in front of some gorgeous scenery. Destination fucking—our new favorite sport!

You've Got Tail

A mail carrier gets bit by the puppy-play bug when he discovers a house full of sexy, submissive doggies and their master. We've never seen such a creative Kong substitute!

Birthday Boss

Workplace power dynamics can be hot, as proved by this hilarious phone-sex session!

Camping Trip

Pitch your tent and give that air mattress a good blow, because we're going camping! This film goes from bromance to Brokeback real quick—and who needs lube when you have sunscreen?

Art Primo and the Rainbow Dildo

Sometimes all you need to get off is a sexy belly-dancing outfit, some quality camera gear, and a giant rainbow dildo.

Correspondence

This kinky couple's video diary—filmed over the course of a year—will have you believing in soul mates: One person can be the person you want to pee on, the person who wants to watch you pee on yourself, and the person who wants to fuck you senseless in a field before going home to masturbate onto some pomegranate peels. True love is real!

Cock-A-Pult

We could play with this contraption all day. GOOOOAAAAAALLLLLL!

I'm Not Poly but My Boyfriends Are

Sex-positivity doesn't come easily for everyone. But it's never too late to embrace who you are and what you want! That's what the star of this film has learned—as have all of her boyfriends!

The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife

A dreamy octopus takes liberties with a lonely woman. A beautiful animated romp—and tentacle porn's first appearance at HUMP!

Toys, Trans, and Training

A lesson in ass-eating, blowjobs, rim seats, and scorching hot sex.

A Pervert's Guide to Avoiding Loneliness

Remember your college friend who would pick up a guitar at every party? Well, he got himself an accordion—and a jock strap—and now he's gonna sing us a song about his long list of kinks.

It's Fucking Complicated

Communication is key, and for this couple, the laundry list of "things I'm really into" is longer than usual. But once they get it all out in the open, they're #1 at doing sex!

The Little Merman

A sexy merman rescues the man who could be the love of his life—but to be with the man of his dreams, our merman is going to need two legs and something big between them. A fairy tale for the ages.

Summer Fuckation

What did you do last summer? This hot sporty couple fucked at Burning Man, climbed (and fucked) on some rocks, and even fucked in the sky. Their sex conquers all summer activities, and it's hot as hell!

Boat Daddy

Two gorgeous seamen do a lot more than sailing. A vintage feel paired with a classic fuck.

Playing Scrabble

A demure game night turns into a wild orgy featuring clowns, fisting, whipping, screaming, and a bodily fluid we've never seen at HUMP! Consider yourself warned.

Fucking Boring

BDSM and three-ways are great way to avoid boring sex—but basic can be sexy, too. Bring on the Netflix, tea candles, and cuddles. But don't forget to feed your gimp before you go to Bed Bath & Beyond!

Breakfast in Bed

What's a boy to do after some hot early morning sex? Make his man something equally hot for breakfast...

Sock Puppet

An adorable musical number featuring sock puppets, xylophones, and intergenerational fist fucking!

Savage Kingdom

Observe the elusive wild gimp in its natural habitat. Highly educational!

Sexucation: Just Jizz

An infomercial for an alternative cure-all. You'll want to order a case of Just Jizz after you watch!

HUMP! screenings are already selling out. So what are you waiting for? Get your tickets NOW at humpfilmfest.com!