I'm giving five stars because there is No More Mildew! However, I think the Mrs. may have purchased this as just another excuse to avoid intimacy. I am a big man (450+ lbs.) so it takes me a while in the shower to get all the parts squeaky clean. I've always purchased clear shower curtains to enhance the intimacy between the wife and I. On a regular basis she would come in to the bathroom to brush her teeth or wash her hands and would catch a glimpse of me showering. This would often lead to sexy time as she has trouble keeping her hands off of me (also, she is a very fit yoga instructor, so is always ready to go at a moment's notice). You can only imagine my surprise when the Amazon smiley box arrived with a FROSTED shower curtain. When I queried her on her motive she claimed it must have been a mistake, but I'm no fool. I've been noticing a pattern lately - it started with the sleeping mask and ear plugs (sometimes, even through breakfast!). Having my suspicions, I covertly checked her iPhone - there was not a single picture of me in her entire camera roll. There were plenty of pictures of younger men with their tight, stretchy yoga pants, but not a single snapshot of yours truly. This was too much for my psyche. Being a big man (450+ lbs.) I have to be careful with what I eat so as to consume enough calories to maintain the weight. But this was too much. I started binge eating nonfat cottage cheese and rice cakes - I couldn't consume enough. I still haven't confronted her over the gallery of stretchy pant clad male bottoms and don't know know how to proceed, but I truly think something is amiss. In the past, she would roll into the massive indent in our mattress (I'm a big man (450+ lbs.)) while sleeping and it would often lead to sexy time. No more! She purchased multiple "The BIg One" pillows from Kohl's (sorry Amazon) and now carefully fills the indent before drifting into slumber. I can't overcome the chastity pillows! It's been about two months now since the FROSTY curtain arrived and in this case there is a double meaning - frosty, as in opaque and frosty, as in frigid. It's freezing around here lately!! I don't know how she can stand it, as she's always had a voracious appetite for sexy time and she's quit cold-turkey. I've got to hand it to her - she is handling the abstinence with surety and cheer. She's as bouncy and cheerful as ever - maybe even more so.

Which leads me to my dilemma - I have always replaced our shower curtains on a very regular basis. At the first sign of mildew, out it goes and in comes another. But this guy has No More MIldew!! I wait anxiously for the mildew to arrive and rescue me from this decidedly not enjoyable period of time, but it never comes - it never comes! Curse you Maytex and your No More Mildew relationship wrecker, FROSTY!!