Following the uncovering of one of his spies working at the US Embassy in Moscow, Vladimir Putin has reportedly expressed concern that the Americans may be spying back on him too. He has subsequently ordered a rigorous security check of personnel working at Russia’s most important institutions, with the White House at the top of the list.

“My biggest fear is that United States may have a spy in the White House, which could give them access to highly classified information.”

Though concerns about a spy in the White House are widespread in the Russian intelligence community, many of Putin’s top advisors say they are more concerned about spies working for nations other than the United States.

“Someone loyal to the United States would stick out like a sore thumb in this White House. I’m putting my money on the North Koreans.”

Putin is not faulting his local station chief, Donald J. Trump, who he commended for engaging in sound practices, such as relying heavily on close family members and others whose loyalty to the Motherland is beyond question.

“However, some of the lower-level staff may not be who we think they are.”