Between Ashutosh’s assault on the English language, the activities of Gau Rakshaks, the melting of the ice caps, and the shamelessness of Indian sports officials, I thought I had become impervious to the evils of the world.

Till I saw this.

According to a source, Bobby played the tracks from his old film Gupt throughout the night! Yes, that happened! And by the end of the night, the people at the club were left fuming, and were seen asking for a refund from the hotel officials! [Link]

Who the eff are these wannabes? I played songs from Gupt, in a loop, for five years, and I got my PhD. And they can’t take it for one night, and that too from the man whose film it was?

They deserve Pulkit Samrat. And Somnath Bharti. And Raaz the Reboot. And KRK dancing to Beat Pe Booty. And Honey Singh desecrating “Dheere dheere se”.

They do.

Forgive me for I am attached to the songs of Gupt. And to the movie. It has given me pickup lines to use. Like “Yahaan wahaan idhar udhar sab kuch tere paas hai”. It has given me pickup lines to avoid. Like ” ‘Main ek salesman hoon. Ishq aur mohabbat ka salesman. Tum jaisi khoobsoorat ladkiyon ki zaroorat puri karta hoon aur woh bhi muft mein”. It has given me lines that have, many times, saved my marriage. Like “kuch baatein gupt raheni chahiye”.

I have seen Gupt, more than twenty times I suppose, and every time I have found something new—one more rose on Bobby Deol’s rose-studded jacket, one more screech from Kajol, one more meaning to the lyrics “Oonchaiyan Gehraiyan”, one more similarity to Papillion, one more reason to watch Gupt again.

And for these rapscallions to dishonor this.

To quote a Bobby Deol movie song “Bardasht Naheen Kar Sakta”.

Actually the problem is today’s kids. They have no respect for institutions.

For Bobby Deol is one.

If Sunny is violence, Bobby is sex.

If Sunny pulls handpumps, Bobby pulls gown-strings.

If Sunny is Boom Boom, Bobby is Shakalakaboomboom.

Suave. Stylish. Bobby Deol.

Even when this happens.

Like really. What do these party-goers know?

Twinkle Khanna’s mother debuted as Bobby and she debuted with Bobby.

How amazing is that?

How many people can play the character of Badal in Barsaat and then the character of Badal in Badal, or Raj Malhotra in Thank You and Raj Malhotra in Ajnabee or act in both Barsaat as well as A Sublime Love Story: Barsaat? How many people can hack the most awesome password ever, “Everything Is Planned” using a technique that would make Kevin Mitnick go “Woh kya hai, Gupt Gupt oh yeah” , or travel from Switzerland, a land locked country, in a boat (Ajnabee) or play a “Soldier” that even JNU can get behind or emote opposite wooden furniture (Upen Patel), or become Bhagat Singh or play an illusionist wearing a Sombrero in “Players” or sing the Congress motto “Chori Mein Bhi Hai Maza” (Kareeb) while pulling a lady out of the water?

So please. Get your refund and buzz off. Blow it on Varun Dhawan or Sid Malhotra or whatever. If I had my way, I would sue your butts for sedition.

But you don’t even deserve that.

You don’t deserve Bobby.