I say this with a bit of apprehension, but I'm not exactly a stranger to eating contests. At the illustrious age of 12, I became Tucson's youngest "Master of Disaster" at Thunder Canyon Brewery. To earn the title you had to eat a dozen "natural disaster" hot wings that tasted like demon arms submerged in hot lava. (They've since gotten rid of the contest, and the wings aren't nearly as spicy.)

I'm also the "First Lady of Lindy's" after one disreputable night in college when I wolfed down the precursor to the famous OMFG burger because of a dare. Back then you had to eat the tater tots too. I know that Adam Richman is a vegan now and that these contests are totally vile. But hey, this one's for old time's sake!

Tania's 33 owner Rudy Lira (man or maniac?) says he's never weighed the thing. But giving the B.Rex a quick sizeup I'd say it's about as big as a newborn baby or a very large rabbit. It's all prettied up in scales made of tortilla chips and baby doll jalapeño eyes, but it is in fact a monster.