"I want to assure you, my friends and colleagues; these rifles should not be in the hands of simple, inadequate Americans. Mine is an exception, however, because it shoots from the LEFT, only."

Dianne Feinstein explains how Hungarian Semi-Automatic SA-85M rifles have been running around and killing people all by themselves. Recently, they have mutated to include a 75-round drum magazine that loads itself with ammunition and automatically replenishes itself. Her plan is to imprison any person caught with one of these infernal beasts in their possession before the rifles kill any more innocent lives. Quotes from the enlightened one: "Banning guns addresses a fundamental right of all Americans to feel safe."

--U.S. Sen. Dianne Feinstein Associated Press 11/18/93 "If I could have gotten 51 votes in the Senate of the United States for an out right ban, picking up every one of them... "Mr. and Mrs. America, turn 'em all in," I would have done it. I could not do that. The votes weren't here."

- -U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), CBS-TV's "60 Minutes," 2/5/95 GUN LAWS ARE FOR EVERYONE BUT ME

Dianne Feinstein holds one of the rare California Concealed Carry Permits. This affluent, wealthy, and influential member of the "liberal" elite says that people should not be allowed to own handguns, but, when she was threatened many years ago, she bought a pistol and got a permit to carry it in California. What she obviously means is that the little people - people who are not wealthy and influential Senators like herself - should not have the right to protect themselves from violent crime. Reckless Feinstein Sweeps Crowd with AK-47

Dianne's Favorite Colleague, Chuck Schumer (below), fires away with a Tec-9 pistol. Check out the look on his face...I am not sure what sort of evil grin that is... NEWS ITEM September 5, 2000 The truth is stranger than fiction. According to San Jose Mercury News, "Doctors on Tuesday used a tendon from the corpse of a 22-year-old Texas gunshot victim to repair U.S. Sen. Dianne Feinstein's broken leg." The 67-year-old Democrat suffered a fractured tibia and a severed tendon after falling Sept. 1 at her Aspen, Colo., vacation home. Though the vast majority of the "peasants" over whom the rabid anti-self-defense Feinstein rules could not possibly afford a vacation home in Colorado, let alone Aspen, the senator is certainly better than her lowly constituents. We know this must be true because she voted against the carrying of a self-defense firearm - while carrying one. Dealing with such tough moral dilemmas must come with unGodly pressures, so DiFi deserved that upper classed vacation, right? Or did divine intervention tap her on the shoulder at just the right time to spill her onto the mountainside? No word yet as to how Feinstein is dealing with the fact that gun violence will be helping her hobble along on the same exact gun control path that paved the way for Adolf Hitler to murder millions of innocent, disarmed citizens. Vying for the coveted Queen of Gun Control position, Dianne Feinstein can now thank a bullet for her hopeful recovery from a skiing accident in Colorado. The senatorpocrite must be having a little trouble sleeping tonight. Perhaps after Mrs. Feinstein gets some rest, she can answer the following questions: Did your donor die unarmed and unable to defend himself because the anti-self-defense message carried by you and your bodyguarded minions convinced him to be easy to prey upon? Or was he one of those armed gang-bangers caught on the business end of a gun used by a REAL criminal - while you busy yourself working for laws that infringe on the self-defense rights of decent, lawful, peaceable, long-suffering gunowners? Does it bother you that the man whose tendon is now inside your body lived in the home state of the soon-to-be Republican president? That is ironic, isn't it? Was he a gunowner, dear? You might have the blood, cells and tissue of someone who liked to go out and shoot on the weekends, you know. He might have shot machine guns! Who knows? One can never tell. Life is always the trickster, but this one takes the cake, by a longshot. But, then again, I guess it's not that weird to think that Feinstein will be benefiting - for the rest of her life - off of someone's gun-related death. That is, after all, how she made her name.