PHOTOGRAPH BY DARREN MCCOLLESTER/GETTY

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—The New England Patriots have found themselves at the epicenter of a new controversy amid a published report that they never bothered to steal the playbook of the New York Jets.

According to the report, the Patriots soundly defeated the Jets multiple times without access to any inside information about the New York team’s offense or defense.

In the aftermath of the report, the Jets' owner, Woody Johnson, blasted the Patriots' coach, Bill Belichick, and called his lack of interest in the Jets' playbook "an insult to this organization and our fans."

"When our teams meet next, you can bet that the Patriots' failure to steal our playbook is going to be a big motivator in the locker room," Johnson said.

Responding to a reporter's question on the matter, Belichick gave a typically terse response, saying only that he was unaware that the Jets had a playbook.