I stated that I grew up watching WWF in the late 90s and that Ken Shamrock was one of my favorites. My Santa decided to send me a figure of Ken Shamrock, the world's most dangerous man. That means he's pretty dangerous.

This was his theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbItDLhx0m4

That is the theme song of a very dangerous man. The World's Most Dangerous Man. I would never attempt to tussle with someone with a theme song like that.

The included note stated that I will respect the figure or it will die. I think he meant to say or else I would die. He would be correct in that case, because this is a figure of Ken Shamrock, The World's Most Dangerous Man. It is extremely unwise to disrespect Ken Shamrock, The World's Most Dangerous Man. I will always give it my respect, because I value existing.

My secret Santa essentially saved me money on life insurance. I will never need it. Because I will forever be protected by Ken Shamrock, The World's Most Dangerous Man. Should any intruder attempt to enter, they will see Ken Shamrock. They will understand that he is The World's Most Dangerous Man, and flee in terror. Because he is Ken Shamrock, The World's Most Dangerous Man.

Thank you for the action figure of my 2nd favorite wrestler behind The Rock, Ken Shamrock, The World's Most Dangerous Man. I will value it, and it will protect me. Because this is Ken Shamrock, The World's Most Dangerous Man.

It turns out that I received two gifts. But a thief stole the second one. However, once Ken Shamrock, The World's Most Dangerous Man, got out of his plastic prison, he hunted down the thief and returned the stolen gift to me. The thief probably does not exist anymore. Because he ended up running into Ken Shamrock, The World's Most Dangerous Man. I also received socks that excited me. Because they contain the popular jazz pattern that was on the cups in the 90s. You have no idea how much a 5 year old me liked this pattern. I was odd. I will wear these and show them off to people with a stupid grin on my face.

Thank you for the gifts Secret Santa. Especially for my new protector: Ken Shamrock, The World's Most Dangerous Man.