mry-j:

thecouscousqueen: i hate it when gay men think that just because they are gay that they can say really inappropriate sexual remarks to me and i’ll be ok with it like no excuse me can u fuck off oh gawd, I hate that shit. Back in high school I knew this gay guy, who was under the impression that it was totes ok for him to try to touch the boobs of us girls even if we said no, cause “he wasn’t into us/he was gay/etc” like that somehow makes it okay to cross another personal line in such a sexual way. At one time a mutual friend of ours invited him home to her and he just kept trying to grab her boobs during his entire stay. To me, this was clearly sexual assault, but not only that - the only previous experience she had had with men touching her was in a very serious case of sexual assault/rape and this quite naturally triggered her. But to him, his behaviour was totally okay ‘cause he was *~gay~* and didn’t mean anything sexual by it. ‘Cause what matters is apparently the intent of the man and not how the woman experience it.

i think it’s interesting how this ties up with male ownership of female bodies and the idea that sexuality is an exclusively male phenomenon (if a man’s not involved in it or sexually into it, it’s not really sex[ual]) – men define sexuality and men ARE sexual, women are just the ground on which male sexuality is laid, and autonomous female sexuality doesn’t supposedly exist on its own, so women have no authority over whether a situation should be interpreted as sexual, even when it involves their own bodies.

that also might be why gay male objectification of female bodies is brushed off as ~diva worship~ or some other shit (weeell at least they’re supporting female artists!!!1) because the sexual objectification of women in media is perfectly fine as long as you’re not personally sexually into it? (that’s why straight girls can have girl crushes on female celebrities too, but a lesbian consuming the same media is suddenly displaying the worst kind of misogyny)