At the same time, I was receiving anonymous phone calls and emails from accounts with names that were clearly invented. The entire debacle gave me the impression I was under surveillance. My Twitter exploits, in particular, began to dominate my thoughts. I became extraordinarily paranoid, wondering if any of the women I encountered in the street or on public transport were my online nemeses. I would show girlfriends my iPhone on nights out and we’d spend the evening deep in speculation, just like we used to dissect the daily goings-on in our respective school lunch halls during our youth. We came up with so many theories as to who these women were and what their beef was, we could have written an entire series of Dynasty.