A principal of a decile one high school explains why the question 'what did you get up to over the holidays? is not asked.

OPINION: When the kids at my high school return from holidays next week, I won't ask them what they got up to. It's not that I don't care. It's because the answer to that question is heart breaking.

For most, there are no family holidays, money for movies, trips to the zoo. Those are luxuries their parents can only dream of giving them.

Instead, it is the hardest time of their year.

School is their safe place, where they are fed,cared for and warm. As I write this from my office, I can still see students milling in the carpark, killing time until the bell rings at 8.30am on Monday.

If you're tempted to judge their parents, stop and imagine life in their shoes. Many work multiple jobs to try to make ends meet. Taking time off isn't an option when every dollar counts.

They often live with extended family to try to cut costs - so home might be a crowded house where even the kitchen is a bedroom; or a damp, uninsulated garage; or in the most desperate of times, a car.

That was 15-year-old Anna's* reality. You would never know it to look at her - her uniform was spotless, she never missed a day of school. But every day she went 'home' to a vehicle, unsure if she'd eat that night. That's a phenomenal challenge for a child. For others, we'd notice their behaviour worsen. When we'd sit down for a korero, we'd find they were living in cramped motels. Our guidance counsellor says the kids are experiencing poverty on a scale like she's never heard before.

And so, our role has become more and more important. I deal with things you won't find in any principal's manual. Some kids only shower at school. We feed them, clothe them, send care parcels home with sanitary and hygiene products from KidsCan. And that's not because no one at home cares about them. It's simply that the resource at hand doesn't allow for it.

It's massive for us to be able to take hunger out of the equation, thanks to charities like KidsCan, the Salvation Army, and companies like Sanitarium.

We encourage any student to eat, so those who are truly hungry don't feel stigmatised. They get breakfast, hot lunches, snacks for the classroom, and for sports.

Some could argue - 'well you shouldn't have to'. I think there's a real misconception that somehow parents have made their own bed by making poor decisions, or worse, that they don't want the best for their children. That couldn't be further from the truth in my experience.. The causes of poverty are complex, but what we do know absolutely categorically is that it's not the students' fault.

So, our job is to awhi and treasure and love these kids.They come and go with a smile on their face and I can hand on heart say we've done everything we can to support them. As Gandhi said: "the true measure of any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable." I was a bit naive at the size of that challenge - but it's a real privilege to be able to help.

We are their ticket out of poverty. My staff and I will give them the best education possible - because through achievement comes opportunity. It's that simple. That's what will break the cycle of poverty for their own children. To make sure our students' pasts' don't define their future. Because every child deserves that chance.

* The principal is writing anonymously and the student's name has been changed to protect their identity.

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