Two quotes and a movie was all it took. I'd reached a combustible temperature on something: rape and the creeps who defend it.

The first quote was a text sent by a 16-year-old rape victim to her perpetrator, and tendered as evidence in a recent US trial. ''I'm not stupid. It's on YouTube. Stop texting me.'' The teenage girl was rebuffing her abuser's arguments that he had, one fateful night, only been caring for her after she passed out at a party. The disturbing truth was obvious to the victim, as it was obvious to the court that convicted him: he - and one other teenage boy - had sexually penetrated her unconscious body, filmed the degradation and circulated the photos and video on social media. Not enough the ritualistic humiliation of that night; the evidence of it was cruelly broadcast.

'Casual molestation of women is an uncleaned stain on our culture.' Credit:iStock

For those who haven't followed the trial, two high-school footballers from Steubenville, a small Ohio town, were this week convicted of the rape of a teenage girl, and of distributing naked images of a minor. The case was notable for the role social media played in coalescing national interest, for the implication that the school's football coach had downplayed the squalor, and for the various, rotten lamentations for the boys' ruined sporting careers. It's dispiritingly familiar, but no less sickening for it.

The second quote I read contrasts powerfully with the circumstances of the first. It is from a father I interviewed. This week I sat down to transcribe a part of our conversation, and I paused on his talking about his advice to his young sons: ''What's the rite of passage for a young man in a modern, Western society? How do you define your behaviour? Well, boys, you start by treating women with respect and compassion, not contempt. And 'no' means 'no'. When it comes to physical contact, be gentle and affectionate. That's what works in a relationship between consenting adults.''