(Picture: Thomas and Friends)

Everyone goes through a phase of being infatuated with the cheeky blue steam engine from Sodor.

In my case, that phase has lasted three decades (and counting).

You’re probably sexualising your toddler without even realising it

But my two year-old is even more obsessed, with a roomful of toys, clothes, bed sheets and a massive stack of DVDs to prove it.

So on this, the 72nd anniversary of Thomas the Tank Engine, let’s discover what’s so special about the adventures of a weird anthropomorphised loco and his morbidly obese manager.


It all started with a loving dad

The Reverend W Awdry was comforting his son, bedridden by measles, with short improvised stories based on the chuntering, peeping sounds of trains outside the sickly lad’s window.



Awwww.

The woman who created the TV version is a stone-cold badass

Britt Allcroft and friends (Picture: Wikia commons/Skullzproductions)

Britt Allcroft was a young, glamorous TV producer from Worthing, who discovered Awdry’s stories and thought, ‘hmmm, that might work onscreen’.

Her company is now worth many hundreds of millions.

Ringo Starr

Legend has it, Allcroft was washing dishes when she heard a resonant Liverpudlian accent being interviewed on telly in the lounge.

Without having a clue about who he was, she decided in that moment, ‘yes, that’s my narrator’, and then proceeded, as if it was nothing, to convince a f***ing Beatle to lend his talents to her unknown kids’ TV show.

A Starr is born (Picture: ITV/REX/Shutterstock)

But also not Ringo Starr

Ringo only narrated the first couple of series in the UK.

For more vocal gold, check online for the American-dubbed versions, narrated by comic legend George Carlin, and (amazingly) latter day Trump-tormentor Alec Baldwin.

Not good enough? Pierce Brosnan – 007 himself! – took the mic for a 2008 special, The Great Discovery.

The characters are all glorious archetypes

Gordon the arrogant prick, Henry the hypochondriac, James the vain sod and Diesel the sly schemer.

There’s a lot to learn about human nature on Sodor.

Colours and numbers, it’s all there

My son literally learned both from watching Thomas.

Mum says I did too.

That funny eye-rolly thing they all do

It’s perfect for autistic kids

Autistic children love the clear facial expressions; and the fact that all the characters run on tracks, so they are basically predictable.

Even better, look out for Merlin, a new character in the forthcoming film Thomas & Friends: Journey Beyond Sodor played by Hugh Bonneville (him off Downton), who is autistic.

There are loads of products out there

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My boy eats his Thomas pasta shapes off a Thomas plate, using a Thomas knife and fork, all washed down with juice from a Thomas cup.

He sleeps under a Thomas blankey, and brushes his teeth with a Thomas toothbrush.

Mealtimes and bedtimes are a hundred times easier thanks to his steamy Sodor buddies – and for that, my wife and I are eternally grateful.

The stories are simple yet classic

Work hard, don’t lie, and do the right thing – friendship and helping others will overcome any problem.

Squad goals (Picture: Thomas and Friends)

The fat controller is hilarious

He totally rocks that portly, faintly-Dickensian mill tycoon vibe and doesn’t give a rat’s-ass about fat shaming.

I’d love to watch a Sir Topham Hatt-focused spin-off show.

Kickstarter, anyone?

There’s a bit of politics in there too

Don’t get me started on libertarian/arnarcho-capitalist interpretations of Thomas the Tank Engine.



Yes, that’s totally a thing.

The names

Notice how the ‘goodies’ all have conventional names (James, Ashima, Emily) but the ‘baddies’ are all named ‘Diesel 10’ or ‘Cranky’?

It’s so kids saddled with unfortunate names aren’t associated with the forces of darkness.

Nice touch, guys.

The show’s endearingly awkward stabs at feminism

Probably gossiping again (Picture: Thomas and Friends)

Back in the day, all the characters were male.

Then along came Daisy the Diesel Railcar, all fluttering eyelashes and ‘highly sprung’ personality.

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Yikes.

Then came Rosie, literally just a pink engine who wore make-up.

The situation has improved markedly with smart, no-nonsense Emily and sassy shunter Ashima.

Plus – yay! – Rosie just had a makeover for season 21, losing her blusher and (shudder) lip gloss.

The theme tune

It’s so, so, so, so good.

And yes, I mean the old one.

The new one is a grower, I’ll reluctantly admit.

But isn’t likely to spawn imitations such as…

…this dank (NSFW) remix

Cinders and ashes, amirite?

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