Living

Don’t call me single — I’m self-partnered

Move over, “conscious uncoupling.” The new celeb euphemism du jour has arrived.

When “Harry Potter” star Emma Watson proclaimed herself “self-partnered” in an article in British Vogue last week, many scoffed at the 29-year-old singleton’s woke navel-gazing.

Many, but not all: It seems quite a few unattached adults identify with the term and the concept of feeling empowered and fulfilled, all by themselves.

“Self-partnered means you’re happy whether things work out with a partner or not, in terms of a marriage and a family,” says 39-year-old Sage Israel, an actress in Williamsburg.

Israel was separated from her husband when she was first introduced to the term — in Los Angeles, of course — a few months ago, and the “positive message” resonated. “If you’re not happy and present on your own, how can you be happy in a relationship?” she reasons. “If you only consider yourself a partner in a relationship, then how can you be happy on your own?”





Melanie Evans, a Melbourne, Australia-based “healer” who claims she coined the term years ago, says she’s glad it’s catching on.

“Many people think it is impossible to be happy and single simultaneously,” says, who first blogged about “self-partnering” in 2015. “I think it is great that people can learn what being self-partnered means, and how it is so much healthier to be a whole person in relationship with self, others and life, rather than trying to get things from the outside to try to feel whole.”

And plenty of women — and men — are on board.

“I’m still single, but my 30s have been much better . . . and I truly believe that one day when I’m in a relationship, it will be incredible,” says LA-based comedian Navaris Darson, 36, who admits that he felt “miserable” about being single in his 20s. “But until that happens, I’m with Emma: I’m not going to wait for someone to realize how awesome I am. I’m going to be the partner that I deserve.”





Even those whose careers hinge on bringing people together believe Watson’s euphemism heard ’round the world is harmless — and even empowering.

“It’s great that there seems to be a movement of women embracing the benefits of being single,” says Montclair, New Jersey-based matchmaker Rachel Russo. “Developing who you are as a single woman can be very rewarding preparation for a relationship — or just rewarding in itself.” Taking aim at an iconic film moment, she adds: “’Jerry Maguire’ had it wrong: no one should ‘complete us.’ We complete ourselves.”

Haritini Pandis, 32, a real estate saleswoman in Brooklyn, who is single, takes that concept even further.

“I think you need to legalize being married to yourself,” she says, half-jokingly. “There are so many people in empty relationships who are miserable. Focus on yourself rather than being in a committed relationship with someone you can’t stand.”





Still, the buzzword has its haters.

“It’s a silly term,” says 41-year-old Dara, a single Lower East Sider who works in marketing and prefers not to use her last name for professional reasons. “It feels like it’s an extension of the ‘self-love’ — make that ‘self-obsession’ — trend.”

Calling yourself self-partnered, she says, “is a little cliched.”





Share this: