Soon, it could be OK to say #$@%!&! in front of kids

LANSING — Get ready, get set, let the f-bombs fly and the swords thrust and parry.

Under Michigan law, swearing in front of women and children and making fun of someone who doesn’t accept a duel are misdemeanors carrying fines of $750.

But the state House of Representatives wants to repeal those laws and nearly 80 more that are either redundant or so outdated and antiquated that few, if any, police departments enforce them.

Right now, if you trespass on a cranberry, huckleberry or blackberry marsh, the police could haul you in for 90 days in jail.

Sing the “Star-Spangled Banner” in a nontraditional or disrespectful manner and you could risk a three-month stay in the pokey.

“I think that was the strangest one,” said state Rep. Chris Afendoulis, R-Rockford, the sponsor of several of the bills in a seven-bill package. “Remember when Jose Feliciano sang the national anthem at the World Series? That clearly would have been a misdemeanor in Michigan.”

But not any more under the package of House bills that repeal or recategorize dozens of laws on the state books. The House voted unanimously Wednesday to pass the bills.

It’s part of a national trend, said Afendoulis, to look at criminal justice reforms.

“Are we overcriminalizing behavior?” he said. “People are violating rules when they don’t even know the rule exists.”

There are more than 3,100 crimes on the books in Michigan and an average of 45 new such laws have been passed each year from 2008 to 2013, according to a House analysis.

And there is virtual unanimity that many of those crimes need to go.

“Getting rid of 80 laws is worth two years of new laws,” Afendoulis said. “So this is a good start.”

The swearing bill is one of the few that’s been enforced in recent years, when a canoeist let loose a stream of expletives when he got dumped into the Rifle River in 1998. His case and $100 ticket were taken all the way to the Michigan Court of Appeals, which ruled it was an unconstitutional restriction on the freedom of speech.

Some of the other doozies given the heave-ho by the House on Wednesday:

■ A requirement that any able-bodied man over the age of 18 respond to the state Department of Natural Resources to help out in cases of emergency. Failure to do so is a misdemeanor.

■ A ban on the use of certain words in print advertising relating to sexual diseases, including: “lost manhood” or “lost vitality or vigor.” Violating the act is a misdemeanor carrying a punishment of one year in jail.

■ A ban on certain endurance contests, such as walkathons. A violation carries a jail sentence of 90 days or a $100 fine.

The bills now move to the Senate for consideration.

Contact Kathleen Gray: 517-372-8661 or kgray99@freepress.com. Follow her on Twitter @michpoligal.