I just learned that someone I know was at the Autism Society of America’s annual conference, and got to experience the joys of a major seizure, because the society allows quacks to be exhibitors. This particular quack, Bioharmonic Technologies , was happily blasting attendees, a group they ought to have expected to consist of a large number of known non-neurotypical individuals, with their magic music. I had to look these guys up. You want to see New Age nonsense? They’ve got it for you.

They’re selling CDs and online music with remarkable claims. Is your unspecified energy blocked?

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You can listen to excerpts from these magic tunes, or you can buy MP3s: $3.30 per track, or $30 per album. I listened to some — it’s all crap. It’s repetitive electronica, basically lots of throbbing, pulsing beats that will put you to sleep, give you a headache (my response), or possibly trigger a seizure, if you’re at risk for that. I guarantee you it won’t wiggle your vertebrae, purge toxins, promote healing of the upper or lower extremities, regenerate bones, or make you rich, or any of the other absurd exaggerated claims they make. It might make Bioharmonic Technologies rich, if there are enough gullible people to buy into their junk.

This is pure evil bullshit.

But, you might say, they have a web page documenting evidence that their magic noise actually works. Go ahead, look at it. It’s amazing.

They used something called Gas Discharge Visualization photography, which sounds impressively sciencey. What it actually is is a new name for an old phenomenon called Kirlian photography, long the domain of pseudoscientific loons. They aimed their magic camera at people’s chakras and saw changes in brightness when they played their music.

So they used a crappy pseudoscientific technique to ‘measure’ a mystical point on people’s bodies when they played magic music, and they’re calling it “evidence”. Of what, I don’t know. That bullshit amplified by more bullshit is still bullshit?

All the New Age buzzwords and bogus promises and outright lies about their “product”, as well as the extravagant prices they charge, make it really obvious that Bioharmonic Technologies is a con. So the real question here is…why is the Autism Society even letting these frauds and exploiters in the door? Have they no standards? They even have a warning about how sensory phenomena can overload individuals on the autism spectrum, but they allow exhibitors to have sonically garish displays? Are they serious about sponsoring research in autism spectrum disorders, or are they more about profiting from phonies who take advantage of people with autism?

Hey, Autism Society: kick the con artists out, or watch your reputation plummet. This is shameful.

Oh, man, this is terrible stuff. Listen to this “Dr Schwartz”, explaining what his magic music does.

You know that all of that was utter nonsense, right?

By the way, here’s “Dr Schwartz’s” qualifications. He’s a chiropractor.