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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Super Tuesday fallout | Breakdown of winners, losers | Bloomberg drops out, endorses Biden | Warren reassessing her campaign | How Biden surprised even his loyalists | Sanders wins delegate-rich California on rough night | Trump mocks Bloomberg, Warren | Lawmakers agree on over $7B in coronavirus emergency funding | Colleagues surprise John Lewis John LewisRep. Cedric Richmond set to join House Ways and Means Committee GOP ramps up attacks on Democrats over talk of nixing filibuster Smithsonian to reopen four DC museums on Friday MORE on birthday | Dates announced for peak cherry blossoms

BREAKING THIS MORNING

There are cheaper ways to travel the country:

After spending hundreds of millions of his own money to self-fund his presidential campaign and a terrible return on Super Tuesday, Former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg Michael BloombergThe Hill's 12:30 Report - Presented by Facebook - Latest with the COVID-19 relief bill negotiations The Memo: 2020 is all about winning Florida The Hill's Morning Report - Sponsored by The Air Line Pilots Association - Trump, Biden renew push for Latino support MORE has dropped out of the race for the Democratic nomination. http://bit.ly/3asquCV

In Bloomberg's words, why he dropped out: "I'm a believer in using data to inform decisions. After yesterday's results, the delegate math has become virtually impossible – and a viable path to the nomination no longer exists."

And he endorsed Joe Biden Joe BidenThe Memo: Warning signs flash for Trump on debates Senate Republicans signal openness to working with Biden National postal mail handlers union endorses Biden MORE: "I've always believed that defeating Donald Trump starts with uniting behind the candidate with the best shot to do it. After yesterday's vote, it is clear that candidate is my friend and a great American, Joe Biden. "I've known Joe for a very long time. I know his decency, his honesty, and his commitment to the issues that are so important to our country – including gun safety, health care, climate change, and good jobs."

Photo outside Bloomberg's New York City headquarters: http://bit.ly/2VHwOlM

Reaction from President Trump Donald John TrumpBarr criticizes DOJ in speech declaring all agency power 'is invested in the attorney general' Military leaders asked about using heat ray on protesters outside White House: report Powell warns failure to reach COVID-19 deal could 'scar and damage' economy MORE: "Mini Mike Bloomberg just 'quit' the race for President. I could have told him long ago that he didn't have what it takes, and he would have saved himself a billion dollars, the real cost. Now he will pour money into Sleepy Joe's campaign, hoping to save face. It won't work!" http://bit.ly/38m1EmR

Reaction from former rival Andrew Yang Andrew YangDoctor who allegedly assaulted Evelyn Yang arrested on federal charges The Hill's Campaign Report: Biden weighs in on police shootings | Who's moderating the debates | Trump trails in post-convention polls Buttigieg launches his own podcast MORE: "Mike Bloomberg will have a lot to do with it if the Democrats defeat Trump in the Fall - his resources and data analytics are second to none. Kudos to him for his commitment to the country and for making this decision." http://bit.ly/2TGlVON

MEANWHILE -- THE MAGIC 'REASSESSING' WORD FROM TEAM WARREN:

Via The Hill's Reid Wilson, Sen. Elizabeth Warren Elizabeth WarrenNo new taxes for the ultra rich — fix bad tax policy instead Democrats back away from quick reversal of Trump tax cuts It's time for newspapers to stop endorsing presidential candidates MORE (D-Mass.) is taking the day to reassess her path forward after a disappointing Super Tuesday. http://bit.ly/3atcusI

It's Wednesday. Not a Super Wednesday. Just Wednesday. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

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THE RESULTS:

Biden won: Alabama, Virginia, North Carolina, Tennessee, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Massachusetts and Texas.

Bernie Sanders Bernie SandersSenate Republicans signal openness to working with Biden Hillicon Valley: DOJ indicts Chinese, Malaysian hackers accused of targeting over 100 organizations | GOP senators raise concerns over Oracle-TikTok deal | QAnon awareness jumps in new poll Schumer, Sanders call for Senate panel to address election security MORE won: Vermont, Colorado, Utah and California

Michael Bloomberg won: The American Samoa caucuses.

No winner declared in: Maine

The full results: http://bit.ly/2TlSaUb

Here's a breakdown of the popular vote in the Super Tuesday states: https://politi.co/39owzjN

TAKEAWAYS:

Biden had an incredible night: The former vice president is projected to win more than half of the 14 states, a major win for the campaign that was on life support just a week ago. http://bit.ly/39pEahV

How Biden's stunning night surprised everyone, including his own loyalists: http://bit.ly/3avRott



Sanders won the delegate gold mine of California: Sanders won California, the state with the most delegates, and is hoping to make up the delegate deficit that he lost in the South. http://bit.ly/2VIeHw5

'Bloomberg's millions can't buy him many delegates': Via The Hill's Reid Wilson, "Bloomberg, competing for the first time on Tuesday after the four early states delivered their verdicts, bet his bank account would overcome the groundwork carefully laid by his main rivals. That bet does not appear to have paid off." http://bit.ly/3cuXb4x

^ Meanwhile: The Washington Post's Matt Viser pointed out, "Joe Biden is mopping the floor in states that he never visited, where he opened zero field offices, and where he spent next to nothing on TV." http://bit.ly/3cwO6Iz

REACTIONS:

From Donald Trump, president and pundit: "So selfish for Elizabeth Warren to stay in the race. She has Zero chance of even coming close to winning, but hurts Bernie badly. So much for their wonderful liberal friendship. Will he ever speak to her again? She cost him Massachusetts (and came in third), he shouldn't!" http://bit.ly/2IiJwQb

Kellyanne Conway Kellyanne Elizabeth ConwayGeorge Conway hits Trump on 9/11 anniversary: 'The greatest threat to the safety and security of Americans' Juan Williams: Swamp creature at the White House Oversight Democrats press for probe into possible Hatch Act violations MORE's husband, George, maxes out on his donation to Joe Biden: George Conway George Thomas ConwayGeorge Conway hits Trump on 9/11 anniversary: 'The greatest threat to the safety and security of Americans' Susan Collins faces battle of lifetime in Maine Conway hails Trump as 'champion' of women MORE screenshotted his donation. Photo: http://bit.ly/39nO8jN

THE WILDEST PART OF THE NIGHT:

Two dairy protesters (yes, dairy protesters!) stormed the stage during former Biden's remarks last night.

'Jill Biden's epic tussle: In split-second blocking maneuver, she protects husband from lunging vegans' Here's a play-by-play: https://wapo.st/2Tm8C77

Symone Sanders Symone SandersBiden campaign ratchets up courting of Black voters, specifically Black men The Hill's Morning Report - Sponsored by The Air Line Pilots Association - Trump, Biden renew push for Latino support Sunday shows - Trump team defends coronavirus response MORE is the MVP -- here's video of the incident:

Yikes!

Biden protester with sign “Let Milk Die” storms stage here in Los Angeles pic.twitter.com/vHBbMHeMjX — Jake Petersen (@jakepetersen91) March 4, 2020

Then Symone Sanders tweeted:

http://bit.ly/38j4wRv

Ahh hahahaha

The question everyone has been asking -- why does Biden not have Secret Service protection?: "Vice presidents are only entitled to Secret Service protection for up to six months after leaving office, USA Today explained. This can be extended by the Department of Homeland Security, but in Biden's case it did not do so." The full reasoning: http://bit.ly/2IfphTz

SIGHTS AND SOUNDS:

Wow:

This is what democracy looks like. The voting line in front of the Ace Hotel is still down the block - and polls have been officially closed for nearly an hour and a half here in Cali. pic.twitter.com/me9uMdrqac — Nikki Schwab (@NikkiSchwab) March 4, 2020

Haha, this survey from the Trump campaign is pretty funny: NBC's Kasie Hunt tweeted, "Opened @realDonaldTrump campaign email with Super Tuesday survey and..." Screenshot: http://bit.ly/3aohEpO

Check out Jennifer Granholm's necklace -- it looks like the Senate map: Here's a photo: http://bit.ly/3atpJK2

I, I don't understand: The Atlantic's David Frum said on BBC last night, "Joe Biden appeals to people who pay their cable bills on the day they arrive. Bernie Sanders appeals to people who may forget to pay their cable bill entirely.... the first group is more reliable." Watch: http://bit.ly/3ai3SVI

Sister, wife -- same thing!: During his election night speech last night, "Biden, screaming and delighted, mixes up his sister and his wife. Looks amused more than alarmed" http://bit.ly/3cummEj

OTHER NEWS THIS MORNING

Just now — Congress agreed to an emergency coronavirus funding deal:

Via The Hill’s Jordain Carney, lawmakers have agreed to more than $7 billion in emergency funding to fight the coronavirus. http://bit.ly/2TBbvjj

Keep in mind: This $7 billion bill is three times more than the White House requested.

Soo, is a SKIMS-White House collab coming?:

Kim Kardashian West Kimberly (Kim) Noel Kardashian WestTwitter removes Kanye West tweet suggesting followers harass journalist Kanye West reportedly asked campaign staff to avoid 'fornicating' Hillicon Valley: TikTok, Oracle seek Trump's approval as clock winds down | Hackers arrested for allegedly defacing U.S. websites after death of Iranian general | 400K people register to vote on Snapchat MORE is visiting the White House again today to discuss criminal justice reform.

She tweeted: "Today Alice, Crystal, Judith, Tynice and I, along with the @cut_50 team will be at the White House bringing light to these women and discuss more change that our justice system desperately needs!" http://bit.ly/2TDDOxn

When was the last time she visited the White House: May of 2018. Throwback photo from that day: http://bit.ly/3cvnxDC

A U.S. airstrike against the Taliban:

Days after the Trump administration signed a peace deal with the Taliban, the U.S. launched an airstrike against the group this morning. http://bit.ly/3cx2mRB

Col. Sonny Leggett, a spokesperson for the U.S. operation in Afghanistan, tweeted: "The US conducted an airstrike on March 4 against Taliban fighters in Nahr-e Saraj, Helmand, who were actively attacking an #ANDSF checkpoint. This was a defensive strike to disrupt the attack. This was our 1st strike against the Taliban in 11 days ... On March 3rd alone, the Taliban conducted 43 attacks on #ANDSF checkpoints in #Helmand. The Taliban claim to be fighting to free Afg. from int'l forces, the Feb 29 agreement provides a conditions-based path to withdrawal." Read his full tweets: http://bit.ly/2vutK21

NOTABLE TWEETS

Happy belated Birthday!:

Video of his colleagues surprising Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.), who is battling cancer: http://bit.ly/2PK0MSq

Here's a photo from Rep. Val Demings Valdez (Val) Venita DemingsFlorida Democrat introduces bill to recognize Puerto Rico statehood referendum Sunday shows - Trump team defends coronavirus response Demings slams GOP coronavirus relief bill: Americans 'deserve more than the crumbs from the table' MORE (D-Fla.): http://bit.ly/2POYd1E

I was delirious, but I definitely ordered one of these last night:

ON TAP

The House and Senate are in. President Trump and Vice President Pence are in Washington, D.C. Pence is holding various meetings on the coronavirus for most of the day.

10 a.m. EST: Vice President Pence holds a coronavirus briefing with long term, post-acute and palliative care provider CEOS.

11 a.m. EST: Vice President Pence held a coronavirus briefing with airline CEOs.

12:15 p.m. EST: Vice President Pence held a coronavirus briefing with diagnostic lab CEOs.

1:15 p.m. EST: First votes in the House. The House's full schedule today: http://bit.ly/2vDYoFX

2 p.m. EST: Vice President Pence gives closed-door remarks to House Republicans, followed by separate remarks to House Democrats.

3 p.m. EST: President Trump participates in the presentation of the Boy Scouts' Report to the Nation.

4:30 p.m. EST: Vice President Pence meets with the White House Coronavirus Task Force in the Situation Room.

WHAT TO WATCH

1:50 p.m. EST: President Trump speaks at the Latino Coalition Legislative Summit in Washington, D.C. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2TBEVhb

5:30 p.m. EST: The Coronavirus Task Force holds a press briefing in the White House. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2VI8LmX

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Pound Cake Day.

Tourism should peak on March 27-30:

The cherry blossoms should reach peak bloom from March 27-30 this year, according to the National Park Service. Details: http://bit.ly/3axX0DT

And because you must see this, here's a tiny piglet eating a fettuccini noodle: http://bit.ly/2Ie47oP