Ireland is often childishly described as being like a saucer or soup bowl - flat in the middle and raised at the edges. This is not quite true. There is a central plain, much of which is occupied by the Bog of Allen. There are mountains around much of the coast, but these are not "mountains" as most people would expect them. The tallest is a mere 1000 meters (3300 feet). There are also plenty of inland mountains. The major river is the Shannon which rises in Leitrim, drains most of the midlands and exits into the Atlantic through the Shannon Estuary between counties Limerick and Clare. The Shannon is the longest river in Ireland or Britain. The river nowadays is mainly used for leisure purposes, but it has quite a history. Following the defeat of the Jacobites by the Williamites at the battle of the Boyne in 1691, James's army regrouped at Athlone on the west bank of the Shannon and a pitched battled ensued across the river. Again the Williamites won and following further battles at Aughrim and Limerick (also on the banks of the Shannon) the Jabobites were finally subdued. Two major canals (the Royal and the Grand) were built between Dublin and the Shannon, or one if its tributaries and in former centuries these represented the main form of transportation between the capital and the midlands. The first trans-Atlantic air flights employed huge sea-planes which landed and took off from Foynes in the Shannon estuary. The power of the river has also been harnessed by a hydro-electric plant at Ardnacrusha. Sadly many parts of the river and its lakes are polluted today, mainly by run off from farm land. High levels of nitrogen promote algal bloom.

I'll tell you what, I don't have any more of an inside track on our patron saint than anyone else, but I know a line of rubbish when I see it. For example, from "authoritative" sources I have it that he was born in Scotland / Wales / England / Cornwall / France. Most agree that he was the son of a wealthy Roman official, but others claim his daddy was a Briton and a churchman and his grand-daddy a priest (now there's an auspicious beginning to the church in Ireland). Almost all sources suggest that he was captured during a raid by Irish pirates / brigands / robbers / ne'er-do-wells who sold him into slavery in Antrim. But Irish folklore as recorded by the Annalists (who were invariably priests) attribute his capture to Niall Mór (Niall of the Nine Hostages) who was a a bit of a step above pirate, being High King of Ireland. And, as his name suggests, Niall had a tendency toward taking hostages rather than slaves, so Patrick's Daddy either wasn't as rich as is claimed, or didn't give a toss about his son, as he apparently didn't or couldn't fork over the ransom. It is generally agreed that Patrick was sixteen when captured and remained in Ireland for six years, after which time he escaped. But his six years in Ireland had apparently imbued him with the, now legendary, Irish homing instinct. Rather than taking the short trip from Scotland / Wales / England / Cornwall / France, he decided on the scenic route (another Irish trait) and came back via Rome, becoming a priest en route. On fire with the Christian spirit, he returned to Ireland to convert the pagan natives, which task he achieved singlehandedly, using various forms of trickery including snake banishing, bonfire lighting and slight of hand with shamrocks. By the time of his death, the whole island was converted and the Irish went on to further convert the rest of the world! Sorry, but this simply doesn't wash. Though Ireland is not big, there is no way that one man could walk it in a lifetime, taking sufficient time to convert everyone he met along the way. My gut feeling on Patrick is that he was probably a good story teller. The native Irish liked nothing more than a good story - in fact the same holds true today. The story of Christianity, even if you are not Christian, is a good one. I can picture in my mind's eye Patrick sitting around the fire in the evening relating the stories of the bible to the locals of the day and their being fascinated by them. The Irish never had much of a written tradition and employed bards to pass down their folklore. After hundreds of years of spinning the same yarns, these guys must have beeen thrilled to have a new story to tell. I have to believe that this is how Patrick managed to spread his message. As it spread, it became intermingled with the local lore, so Yule became Christmas, the goddess of Spring was replaced by Mary (later repersonified as Saint Brigid), etc. I'd need Donna here to give me the entire list of "pagan" festivals that have been christianised. Side note: the Roman Church was very much male oriented, but the Celtic Irish viewed men and women as equal, which view persisted in Brehon Law up until the arrival of the Normans in the 12th century. I am convinced that it was the Irish missionaries who later spread out all over Europe, that elevated the position of women within the church and elevated Mary and the female saints to recognised positions. So, my take on St. Patrick is that there probably was such a person but that the man honoured today and about whom all the various stories are told is probably a amalgam of many people. Some observations about Saint Patrick's Day - March 17th 1. It is basically an American Holiday. Americans who come to Ireland for the day must be really dissappointed. The last time I actually watched a parade (in Dublin) I really felt sorry for the poor majorettes, with their short skirts and bare legs being blasted by icy snow showers. 2. Stop calling it St. Patty's Day!!!! Patty is not an acceptable abbreviation of Patrick (though it may be an abbreviation of Patricia). Besides, a patty is akin to a burger and this is German! Not even the wildest stories have Saint Patrick being German. Acceptable abbreviations are St. Paddy (unless you are English) and St. Pat. 3. The legend that "real" shamrock only grows on Irish soil is nonsense. All species of Trifolium and Medicago (the botanical species worn as shamrock) will grow practically anywhere. It's almost impossible to find growing wild in Ireland before March 17th, but from March 18th onwards it spreads like wildfire - especially in my lawn and flower beds. 4. The best way to spend St. Patrick's Day is in front of a nice fire, outside of a nice hot whiskey! 5. In Ireland, corned beef, cabbage and potatoes is NOT the traditional St. Patrick's Day meal. In fact, corned beef is almost impossible to find outside Dublin. Bacon and cabbage is probably much more traditional, but there is no traditional St. Patrick's Day meal. 6. Green beer is an American invention. The only time I ever saw green beer in Ireland is when I once left an undrunk pint sit undisturbed for a month. 7. The coming of St. Patrick's Day is like a starter pistol to Irish politicians in their lemming-like rush to evacuate the country. 8. St. Patrick's Day is, to the Irish tourism industry, a bit like Groundhog Day to Americans. They look outside and if they don't see the shadows of tourists, they go back to sleep for another six weeks. 9. Patrick is no longer the most popular personal name for boys in Ireland - it is Connor. Don't get me started on Saint Connor!!!

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