Don’t call me, I’ll call you (Picture: Getty)

Sadly in life, not all relationships are emotionally aligned. And, where sometimes one person is thinking long-term, the other is all about the fun times.

There’s a lot to be said for no strings attached sex. However, when you’re hoping for something more, being on different pages in a relationship can feel pretty crap.

The good news is there are certain fairly clear-cut ways to tell that he is using you for sex. From not meeting his friends to him suggesting you have sex with one of them, here are 17 fail-safe ways to tell you’re dating a f**kboy.



1. He loves ‘chilling’

Also known as preferring to relax on the sofa (read: Have sex with you on the sofa) than go to the effort of a night out.


Could the couple in the middle row … (Picture:getty)

2. He’s tactile

Wandering hands in the initial throes of a relationship can be a great thing, and nothing beats the feeling of wanted to get physical with a person.

Not to be mistaken with trying to finger you in the cinema or cop a feel of your boob every time you hug hello.

3. He has no idea where you work

Because why waste time with conversation when he could be inserting his penis into you.

4. He hasn’t accepted your friend request on Facebook

Despite being online every time you stalk his account.

5.He tries to have sex with you in the hallway

Which could be sexy … if you weren’t in the stairwell of John Lewis on your lunch break.

6. He asks you when you’re on your period before setting up a ‘date’

And cancels if you’re due on.

7. He booty calls you

That drunk 1am post-pub call is a pretty classic giveaway sign that a man is in it for the sex, and yet, so many women …

8. He doesn’t ‘booty’ call you when you’re ill

There is such a thing as someone calling you at 1am because they genuinely want to be near you, regardless of whether sex is involved or not.

The f**k boy is not this someone.

9. He doesn’t text you unless it’s to arrange a hookup

We only came in to get a blender (Picture: Getty)

And wouldn’t dream of an actual conversation on the phone.

10. You haven’t met his friends or family

As if.

11. Your Christmas present is a vibrator

On the rare occasion that a f**k boy does spend any money on you, you can be guaranteed it will be something thoughtful and bought with love.

Like vibrating love balls or crotchless knickers.

12. He loves doggy style

The more he’s using you for sex, the less eye contact he’s going to want to have.

But it’s my birthday (Picture: Getty)

13. He doesn’t mind you having sex with other people

And makes ‘funny’ jokes about threesomes with his friends.

14. He says you’re a prude

When you turn down the offer of a threesome with him and his friend.

15. He doesn’t like labels

And refers to himself as polyamorous.

Also known as ‘is going to shag other people and doesn’t care whether you know about it or not.’

16. He tells you that you’re too good for him and deserve better

You do.

17. You dump him to see if he gives a s**t

He doesn’t.

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