“The whistle-blower’s complaint describes several instances of clear quid pro quo. For instance, the whistle-blower says, ‘Multiple U.S. officials told me that the Ukrainian leadership was led to believe that a meeting or phone call between the president and President Zelensky would depend on whether Zelensky showed willingness to ‘play ball.’ [Imitating Trump] ‘O.K., Ukraine. You gotta play ball, O.K.? And I mean let me get to second base, O.K.? Over the bra, under the Constitution.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Trump reacted to his bad news day the way he always does: thumbs first, tweet screaming: [as Trump] ‘Democrats trying to destroy the Republican Party and all it stands for.’ But you beat ’em to it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Right now, he’s probably on the phone with Belgium trying to get the secret to their waffles or something.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Even e-cigarettes were like ‘Trump is having a bad week.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“The whistle-blower then said there were approximately a dozen White House officials who listened to the call. Then this guy was like [imitating Putin] ‘Make that a baker’s dozen. Hello, I hear you.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“That’s gonna make the next all-staff meeting interesting. [as Trump] ‘Hey everybody, great job. My good friend Vladimir sent us some free sushi. Whoever wants some, just whistle’.” — STEPHEN COLBERT