Shari Puterman

Lafayette Daily Advertiser

“I can choose to laugh or choose to cry. Being in denial isn’t going to make it go away. Why not take a shower, put on lipstick, take your kid to the park – because what else are you going to do? There is no other option…”

Katie Harrison lives by her words.

She’s been through hell and back – but one would never suspect the tragedy and heartache that lie beneath her beautiful exterior.

Katie is the mother of Hawk, and, most recently, baby Lake. They live a simple, small-town life in Gillsville, Georgia, but the family has been in the spotlight since Hawk was a baby.

Hundreds of thousands around the world follow their every move, praying for peace and sending them strength.

Since’s Hawk’s near-fatal brain bleed at three weeks old, life has never been the same. But there was a calm before the storm that rocked this family to its core.

Katie was raised in northeast Georgia as an only child. Her father was killed in a motorcycle accident when she was just 11, and ever since, Katie and her mother, Fran, have shared a special bond.

“We are super close,” she says. “We’ve had probably three fights in my entire life, and she's my biggest supporter.”

Katie went on to graduate from the University of Georgia with an arts education degree and married her high-school sweetheart. A couple years after getting married, they decided to expand their family and started trying to get pregnant. But there were roadblocks.

“It was difficult,” she says. “We did fertility medications, three rounds of IUI (intrauterine insemination) and two fresh cycles of IVF (in vitro fertilization). I had one miscarriage in between it all, but then, I finally got pregnant.”

Gender reveal

On Mother’s Day 2012, they announced to the world that a baby boy was on the way. Katie basked in the glow and appreciated every single moment.

“I loved being pregnant,” she says. “It was perfect and wonderful, and I was happy. So much hard stuff had happened, but then with Hawk, the pregnancy was the turning point. I thought, ‘Life is going to get better, there is so much hope.’ It was a wonderful time.”

Katie and her husband decided to name their son Hawk because they wanted him to have double-H initials - and they wanted his name to be meaningful.

“We were going down the driveway, and a hawk flew right over the car,” Katie says. “My husband said, ‘What about Hawk?’ I said, ‘Is that a name?’ So we tried it while I was pregnant, and it stuck. We imagined announcing his name as he walked across the football field – Hawk Harrison. It was so strong. And now we know, he needed that name. It’s perfect.”

The beginning of a journey

On Nov. 11, 2012, Hawk came into the world. He was perfect, rarely cried and slept through the night.

But two and a half weeks after bringing him home, something changed.

“He started throwing up and getting fussy,” Katie recalls. “We went to the doctor, and they said it was probably reflux, but nothing was changing. He was throwing up entire feeds. They put him on medication and said they would check him the next day. You don’t think a baby throws up and there is a brain hemorrhage.”

That same night, Hawk had his very first seizure.

“But we didn’t know it at the time,” Katie says. “He threw up, and my husband was holding him, and when he handed him to me, Hawk’s posture looked different. His eyes looked weird. My biggest regret was not following my gut instinct and taking him to the emergency room. I will always do whatever I feel in my gut about Hawk – I wrestle with that every day. But they tell me it wouldn’t have mattered.”

Early the next morning, Katie and her husband took him to the doctor. Hawk was lethargic, and an ambulance was immediately called. A CT scan revealed a large brain bleed – and doctors were stunned.

“They said they never saw anything like it,” Katie says. “The doctor said, ‘I’m sorry, there is nothing I can do. We’re sending a helicopter to Egleston children’s hospital in Atlanta.'”

It was unlikely that Hawk would survive. He was seizing constantly, and nothing would get him to stop.

“There was so much blood on his brain,” Katie says. “They drilled a hole in his head to drain it, but it wasn’t working. They called hospice, like 'your baby is going to die.' I asked a nurse, ‘What do we do if he never stops seizing?’ Nobody knew.”

Katie prayed to God.

“I said, ‘If you’re going to take him, take him now. If you’re going to leave him, please leave him for a reason, for a quality of life.’ The doctor was on the phone with a hospital in France, and they suggested putting blood thinners directly into his brain. He said, ‘It’s either going to be like dynamite and burst this clot so it can drain, or like dynamite and create a hole that’s so much worse.’ But we knew, because our prayer had been so specific. The ICU said not to do it, hematology said not to do it.”

But they went with their gut. Katie and her husband sat beside the bed and watched the blood clots fall into the bag. The procedure had worked – but the damage had been done.

“My three-week-old was in a coma on a ventilator,” Katie says. “He was so swollen, and then the clotting issues started. We did every test imaginable and couldn’t figure it out.”

Finding a support system

About a month and a half after getting admitted to the hospital, Katie was told to contact another local mother, Stacy Halstead. Her son, Tripp, was struck by a falling branch while at day care, and millions of people follow their journey on Facebook. (Read Tripp's full story here). Sadly, Tripp passed away earlier this year.

“They had already been transferred to a rehab center, but we had the same doctors, the same situation,” Katie says.

She met Stacy at Scottish Rite, a rehabilitation facility in Atlanta, where their children were both getting inpatient treatment.

“Our room was down the hall from theirs,” Katie says. “Her sister, Crystal, came knocking on the door with a huge bag of stuff. From then on, we have been best friends. Tripp and Hawk were beside each other the whole time, and eventually, we all went home from there.”

Hawk's condition worsens

Hawk was in the hospital for almost three months. Since doctors didn’t expect him to survive, there were no expectations for his recovery.

“They were pretty much like, ‘Good luck.’ He couldn’t eat or make eye contact, but the vomiting was the worst. It was because of the pressure on his brain,” Katie explains.

It was – and still is – a waiting game. Katie tried to return to work, but Hawk’s condition made it impossible. He went into the hospital for nine shunt revisions, and the constant stream of appointments was grueling.

Then, just before his first birthday, Hawk started having seizures.

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“We were hopeful before they started,” Katie says. “We thought he was going to start eating, he was making some sounds and more aware, but once the seizures started, he took a big setback.”

Hawk was diagnosed with West syndrome, or infantile spasms. It’s a very serious condition.

“The diagnosis is really bad,” Katie says. “These kids don’t do anything. We were already dealing with a brain injury, and now the seizures, which cause more brain injury. It was like they were taking away from what we started with.”

Hawk began taking anti-seizure medication, which made him dizzy, nauseous and lethargic. It was hard to differentiate between the medication’s side effects and Hawk’s underlying brain injury, so Katie worked tirelessly to find other options.

“We ended up on the ketogenic diet,” she explains. “It’s a carb-restrictive diet that helps calm the seizures. That took away the West syndrome, but he still has other kinds of seizures from the injury.”

CBD oil treatment

Katie continued to seek alternative treatment methods for Hawk, and eventually, found cannabis oil.

“It wasn’t legal in Georgia, so we found other parents who were looking into it,” she explains. “We kept digging because we didn’t want to move to Colorado. We went to California, found a doctor who would take us and went to a dispensary to get our first bottle of cannabis oil. It was called Jayden’s Juice.”

Katie says that after just one week, Hawk was a different kid.

“It was life-changing,” she says. “He had a spark in his eye, and it made all the difference for him. We’re still fighting for improvement on the law. In Georgia, it’s now legal to possess (for eight conditions), but not to grow or buy.”

The use of cannabis oil for medical conditions has been controversial – but for Katie, the risk is worth the reward.

“I have the concern of, ‘What if my kid keeps seizing and I can’t stop it?’ That’s my biggest concern,” she says.

Almost four years after tragedy struck, how is life for Hawk today?

“He’s definitely in there,” Katie says. “He’s super happy, he knows who I am, he knows when something is wrong. I am the luckiest mom in the world, he’s amazing. When we were pregnant, all I prayed for was a happy, well-adjusted, life-loving best friend. When he’s not having seizures, he’s good.”

Hawk, who recently learned how to stand with assistance, is working hard to learn the skills that most take for granted.

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“Just this past week, he’s gotten to where he likes to be on his stomach and he decided he wants to crawl,” Katie says. “He makes noises when he’s happy. If I say I love you, he thinks and moves his mouth … he processes things.”

The future is uncertain, but definitely bright. Katie’s pretty convinced that Hawk will always live with her but hopes that he can communicate with the outside world.

"Do it for Hawk"

The last couple years have been rough, as Katie and her husband separated after Valentine’s Day 2015. After enduring such a tumultuous roller coaster with her son, she couldn’t accept another blow – but eventually, there was no choice.

“I spent a few months begging and praying and holding on, and there was a moment when God released me and said it’s OK – think about you and Hawk because this is your new normal,” she recalls. “Somehow I got better because I knew I had to change. I had a wonderful support system – community, friends, family, nurses. It’s putting one foot in front of the other. People say I am strong, and I say I didn’t have a choice. I put on my lipstick, decided I was going to look good, feel better and be an awesome mommy.”

The support from her Facebook community has been overwhelming.

Her page, “Do It For Hawk,” serves many purposes, from inspiration to education and everything in between.

She’s connected with hundreds of mothers facing similar situations, but nothing compares to the bond she shares with Stacy Halstead.

And the feeling is mutual.

“Katie doesn’t understand the word no,” Stacy says. “She is the most driven mom I have ever met. She is literally moving mountains, not only for Hawk, but for other families like hers. She is amazing, and I consider it a privilege to call her my friend.”

The ladies do Zumba together and try to hang out on a weekly basis.

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“I love to cook,” Katie says, “and Stacy doesn’t. I can walk into her house, cook them dinner, and lay Hawk down and everyone knows how to take care of him. It’s a natural bond. I know her as more than ‘Tripp’s mom.’ We were in the hospital and washed clothes together and wore the same outfits over and over, our kids vomited and we would get a bag. The bond has been so natural and so obvious. On Tripp’s accident anniversary, I texted her and said, ‘I love you. I don't have eloquent words or particularly amazing thoughts to express. I can't imagine anything anyone could say to me that would make a difference. But I do know this. I'm here for you and with you forever. No matter what, when no one else understands, here I am. I love you.”

Katie, who’s beyond thankful for her world of support, says her strength ultimately comes from a higher power.

“My strength comes from God,” she says. “An ultimate truth that this is what it is. I can choose to laugh or choose to cry – it’s not going to change it. Crying for 10 days in a row isn’t going to make it better. I have chosen to laugh and smile and live life and have him live life. Being in denial isn’t going to make it go away. Why not take a shower, put on lipstick, take your kid to the park – because what else are you going to do? There’s no other option.”