Chapter Text

Patton: *walking into commons* Guys? Who’s is this? *holds up empty bag* I was cleaning out some of the old memories in the memory bank and this one didn’t want to go away. I don’t recognize it so it’s gotta be pretty important if it’s fighting to stay this much.

Virgil: Hmm? Oh, that’s mine.

Logan: What memory that important could possibly be tied to an empty bag of bread?

Virgil: I once ate an entire loaf of bread by myself in one sitting.

Roman: … How is that an important memory?

Virgil: Hey, if you made that much toast at 3 am without waking anyone up, you’d be pretty damn proud of yourself too.

~

Patton: We’re finally here! What do you guys want to do?

Roman: Disney!

Logan: Go to Target.

Virgil: For fuck’s sake Logan, how many times do I need to tell you? We *clap* did *clap* not *clap* come *clap* to *clap* LA *clap* to *clap* buy *clap* hand sanitizer!

~

Roman: I just feel so fulfilled, you know?

Remy: I feel you gurl.

Roman: I just feel like I’ve accomplished everything I wanted to in life.

Remy: Chills. That gives me chills.

Logan: Roman, you’re not even 30.

Virgil: Yeah… You cried over spilling your apple juice this morning.

~

Logan, Roman, & Patton: *huddled around laptop whispering*

Deceit: What are you guys doing?

Patton: Looking at the comments on our last video.

Roman: And tumblr.

Logan: And reddit.

Deceit: … Why?

Logan: There have been a lot of theories going around lately regarding the seventh side. They’ve guessed correctly that he is orange, the final color of our metaphorical rainbow, but nothing more has been unanimously decided.

Deceit: Has anyone gotten close?

Logan: …

Patton: …

Roman: …

Deceit: … What?

Roman: You do realize none of us have met him, right?

Deceit: Oh really? That’s a shocker. For Caution, Travis is a pretty friendly guy.

Logan: Caution?

Patton: Travis?

Roman: Can we meet him?

Deceit: Of course. He really doesn’t mind being summoned. *lifts hand to summon*

*Orange figure appears*

Roman: …

Patton: …

Logan: … Deceit, that is a traffic cone.

~

Deceit: I just saw Roman crying in the other room and then a timer went off and he just... stopped.

Logan: Crying is a healthy way to relieve pent up emotions.

Deceit: You don't understand. He set a timer for fifteen minutes and just stopped. Like he just wiped his eyes and boom! No more crying. He was done.

Logan: It's called time management. You should try it sometime.

Virgil: No, it's called depression. You should try it sometime.

~

Remus and Roman: *screaming* Logan! Help!

Logan: *in the other room* Give me a minute.

Roman: It’s an emergency!

Logan: Give me a minute.

Remus: Virgil’s going to die!

Logan: Give me a minute.

Virgil: *singing* If you love me let me go…

Patton: *runs into the kitchen* Virgil no!

Logan: *puts book down and strolls into the kitchen* Roman, Remus, what did you want?

Patton: Virgil just jumped off the refrigerator and you didn’t try to stop him!

Logan: *blinking* I didn’t think Roman and Remus were being serious!

Roman: What part of “it’s an emergency” do you not understand?!

~

Deceit: Ugh. My snake is the worst.

Virgil: Can’t be worse than cats.

Deceit: Cats poop in litter boxes. I have to spot clean the terrarium with my hands.

Virgil: At least he stays in his terrarium. My cat claws up all my furniture.

Remus: At least he’s an indoor cat.

Deceit: Don’t you have an octopus?

Remus: I have not seen him in eight months.

~

Roman: Remus, what’s with the chef’s hat? You’ve been wearing it a lot lately.

Remus *nervously* No reason.

Roman: You sure? Because if you meet a rat like the one in Ratatouille to control your every move, I better be the first to know.

Remus: *chuckles* Of course.

The Octopus pulling on Remus’s hair: *hissing* He must never know.

~

Roman: Logan, truth or dare.

Logan: Truth.

Roman: Umm… How many people have you dated?

Logan: … Roman, we’ve known each other our entire lives.

Roman: And?

Logan: We all live in the mindscape together.

Roman: And?

Logan: None of us have ever dated anyone. You know this.

Roman: I panicked, okay? I didn’t have anything prepared!

~

Roman & Virgil: *burst into Logan’s room* Logan!

Logan: *looks up from book* What?

Roman: We have an important question.

Logan: What is it?

Virgil: Define smoothie.

Logan: … A smoothie is a manmade blended beverage made of fruit.

Virgil: *pointing at Roman* See! I told you ketchup was a smoothie!

~

Roman & Remus: *scream fighting*

Virgil & Deceit: *exchange glance*

Virgil: So…

Deceit: *slithers out of social situation*

~

Roman: *groans*

Logan: What seems to be the problem?

Roman: *holds up script* My memory’s terrible. I can’t memorize any of these lines!

Virgil: *waking up from napping on the couch* Your memory’s fine. It can’t be that bad compared to mine.

Logan: *ignoring him* Maybe you should try focusing on smaller sections?

Virgil: Sometimes I go through my whole day without realizing I left my keys at home.

Roman: *ignoring him* I’ve tried that. I get it down then instantly forget it when I go to the next section.

Virgil: Sometimes I even forget my own name and I wander around for hours before remembering who I am.

Logan: *ignoring him* Maybe you should take a break? It is easier to remember things when you are well rested after all.

Virgil: I get morning amnesia sometimes.

Roman: Virgil, stop. No one cares. *looks back to Logan* What should I do? Should I watch a movie to unwind?

Logan: I’d say-

Virgil: What’s a Virgil? Seriously guys, who are you and what are you doing in my house?

~

Virgil: So what happened when I was all drugged up? Did I say anything weird?

Patton: Not really.

Roman: What are you talking about? When I got home, the first thing you did was lie on the floor and ask me to throw all your hoodies at you so you could individually tell them how much their friendship means to you.

~

Virgil: *hissing* HHHHHISSSSSS….

Emile: *leans forward in chair* Interesting. Tell me more.

Virgil: … hiss?

Emile: If you just asked if I can understand you, the answer is no. I haven’t understood a word you’ve said in the past fifteen minutes.

~

Patton: You know that moment when your unphotogenic pet is having a real cute day and you can take a bunch of pictures and it’s adorable and amazing?

Logan: *holding phone* Patton… It’s just a bunch of pictures of Virgil sleeping on the couch…

Patton: Doesn’t mean he’s not cute.