Mr. Peralta contacted Ms. Howard and asked her to act the part of his girlfriend in a Cobra Skulls video. (He was not yet done with the band but had stopped touring.) She agreed but cautioned Mr. Peralta about reading anything into her role. She was in a serious relationship, she said, so they kept a respectful distance during the shoot.

Months later, they ran into each other at a bar in San Francisco. The Cobra Skulls had disbanded, and a directionless Mr. Peralta was working at a grocery store. Ms. Howard’s relationship had ended terribly. She, too, was deflated and lost.

They dated but because of their heartaches tried to keep things light. However, on Valentine’s Day, Mr. Peralta played Ms. Howard a song written just for her. “You know I’ll be your sure thing, darling, I’ll keep coming back if you keep calling,” he sang, accompanying himself on acoustic guitar.

Ms. Howard did not fall into a swoon — instead, she broke things off. “Neither of us were standing on solid ground,” she said. Crushed, Mr. Peralta retreated to the farm where, working 50-hour weeks, his grief faded under the summer sun.