Pastor Steven Anderson of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona wants to make sure we’re ashamed of the right things:

On his list?

Nakedness (9:55 mark). But really, only when it involves women:

I was just at a restaurant a couple days ago and there’s just… this woman just sitting at the counter and it’s just — there it is! Because the pants and the skirts are just so low that it’s just — there’s just a cleavage — it’s the new cleavage! And you know what? God’s people need to stay away from that garbage. Don’t you ever walk into this church showing your, your crack. I mean, it’s unbelievable today that I would even have to say that from the pulpit in a church! But, look, I’m telling you, I probably went the first twenty years of my life without seeing that, except when someone was working on something at the house! You know some big, fat, smelly plumber guy… whatever is bent over working on something under the sink. You know, okay, you expect that, right? But I’m telling you, I probably went the first twenty years of my life without seeing it; I think I probably see it now on a weekly basis. Who knows what I’m talking about? I mean, you’re just CONSTANTLY seeing it! And it’s a shameful thing, but they’re not even ashamed. I mean, just think about it: an adult woman, sitting down at a restaurant, just [herp-derp] eating, her buttocks uncovered. Just unashamed. Just like an animal. Just, whatever. I mean, it’s bizarre, my friends. … [Later, at 14:30] What you oughta be embarrassed about is dressin’ like a floozy. That’s what you oughta be embarrassed about. You oughta be embarrassed about dressin’ like a hoochie mama. And a hooker… And going around in clothing that literally was only worn by prostitutes in times past. I mean, look, a prostitute wears a miniskirt. A prostitute dresses up and puts on the “For Sale” sign! ‘Cause she’s for sale. And you ought not be ashamed to dress like a godly Christian lady and to wear modest apparel, to wear a skirt that covers your nakedness, that’s the knee or below, and covers up your thighs, and covers up your shame, and that you’re not one that is promiscuous!

Because only hookers wear clothing that reveals their thighs. (Also, some men wearing shorts, but why bother with details…)

In Anderson’s mind, it’s a woman’s fault for wearing anything that he can’t deal with in a mature fashion. But a plumber’s asscrack? Whatever.

Next up on the shame list?

Women preachers (15:42). Anderson cites 1 Corinthians 14:35-36:

If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.

After talking about Christians who are embarrassed by that particular verse, he actually calls some of the women out by name:

[Those people are] ashamed of the verse. They ought to be ashamed of Joyce Meyer… and if I knew any other female preachers, I’d preach against that. That’s the only one that I know of. Does anybody know of another one?… [Audience: Paula White] Paula White? I thought that was a cooking show. Is that a preacher?… Well, Paula White needs to START a cooking show! Right?! She needs to get out of the pulpit and get in the kitchen. … [Later, at 28:50] I mean, being a woman preacher is embarrassing, but listening to a woman preacher when you’re a hair-legged man is really embarrassing. … [Later, at 30:50] I was embarrassed one time, I preached at a church that… spoke a foreign language that I didn’t speak. And I was just embarrassed that the woman that was translating for my preaching was a woman.

Incidentally, when other fundamentalist Christians try to defend this verse without appearing misogynistic, they argue that men have dominance in the home, but women are free to lead elsewhere. Anderson, though, finds even that too heretical.

In his world, female preachers are scum of the earth. They preach the same Gospel he accepts and wants people to read and believe, but they’re the wicked for doing it while having ovaries.

I can’t forget to include the part we all knew was coming: Being gay (21:23)

You say, what’s “sodomy” mean? Queer–queerness. Queerdom, you know, is what I call it. Being a homo. You know, it’s been around in a lot of different places, but usually, it was hidden because it was such a shameful thing, people would not admit it. in the previous generation, it was still there, in the closet, I mean, it existed, but people were ashamed of it… … You know, when a society begins to just openly accept sodomy, that’s when they’re like Sodom, that’s when you know it’s at the very final stage on the downward spiral of the final stages of depravity, when you’ve got them just proudly, proudly just exposing the sin of sodomy… that’s where America is at today. … You know who oughta be ashamed of themselves? Grey-haired men who accept all this sodomy and filth, who actually lived in this country when it was a clean and normal, somewhat-decent place. And now they just accept all this garbage. … [Later, at 32:45] I would be a little embarrassed if you were a little fruitcake, little sissy-britches in the way that you dress. That would be embarrassing. And you oughta be embarrassed yourself.

Yes, forget the gay-friendlier time we live in today. We’d be much better off living in the past, when gays were in the closet and racism was thriving. You know, the good ol’ days.

Anderson saves some of his wrath — excuse me, God’s wrath — for the men.

Or rather, just the men who have long hair (27:24), as noted in 1 Corinthians 11:14:

Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him

Of course, Anderson finds a way to bring it back to woman-bashing:

That tells me that a man having long hair is a shame! I’m not gonna be ashamed of a preacher who preaches against men having long hair. I’m gonna be ashamed of the long hair on a man itself! That’s the shameful thing. And, by the way, also, it’s a shame for a woman to have short hair… it’s a shame both ways, when men look like women, when women look like men, when they have their hair backwards, their clothing is backwards. That is what we oughta be ashamed of.

He’s not done yet. Even Sarah Palin is berated for running for office as a woman, but the focus of Anderson’s ire is on the men who supported her (29:35):

And I’m just thinking to myself, “You’re a man! Why is your idol a woman? Like, why are you following a woman? Why are you lifting up a woman on a pedestal — this is your hero, this is your idol?”… Why don’t you get a man to follow? Why are you following a woman? Why don’t you follow a man? And you say, “Oh, you’re against women.” I’m not down on women. Women should have female role models that they follow, but they should be female role models that are godly, and that are righteous… where their husband is not living in their shadow, but vice-versa.

In summary, here’s his entire sermon in a sentence: If you’re not like Pastor Anderson, Pastor Anderson is ashamed of you.

Try a little harder next time, everyone else.

By the way, I continue to post Anderson’s videos, not because all Christians think like him — I know they don’t — but because he exemplifies the awful conclusions you can reach when following the same Bible that everyone else reads. If a Christian wants to criticize him, let them explain why his interpretations of select passages are misguided.

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And your Best Comment award goes to MisterTwo: