Well if you thought I was pissed last week, then you have seen nothing yet. First off let me thank the charter guests for a great charter. The pooches were great, you guys were great, and we really enjoyed having you on board.

But honestly I am seething. As you know, I don’t get to see all of the crew shenanigans until the episode airs, unless I happen to come upon them misbehaving unexpectedly. That was not the case here. And where do I start? Let’s get the charter festivities out of the way first.

The crew in general seemed more in tune with solving their personal issues than taking care of the guests. Might have been reflected in the tip. Could be, I don’t know for sure, but I would have taken it into account.

I think this week I may adopt a different format for my blog. Usually, I go one by one with the crew and give a critique, but this week was such a disgusting mess, I think I may single out two or three and then deal with the overall performance, which I found to be terribly wanting.

First off, Em, I really don’t have much. You acquitted yourself well this week, did your job admirably I felt with one exception. When you were in the galley with Ben and Kate, and Ben expressed his opinion that the conch was not up to standard (a bit chewy I believe his words were), he then asked Kate her opinion and she agreed with him. I believe in an effort to not show favoritism to Kate, he asked you your opinion and you told him that you would serve it. Wrong move. You are not qualified in my opinion and you weren’t being truthful. The guests come first, not you trying to appease Ben. The conch was chewy, the guests noticed it, and we looked foolish, and in my opinion, so did Ben for serving something that he knew wasn’t up to standards. The only reason he did that, in my opinion, was to prove to you that he would take your opinion over Kate’s, and the guests suffered for it. Wrong move. Other than that, I thought you had a good week.

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Sierra, I thought you had a good week as well. Maybe a couple of slight communication hiccups, but I felt like you tried to deal with Kyle appropriately. You tried to rise above his revelations about his lifestyle, and he just wasn’t having it. So good week, you put forth a really good effort this week.

Kate, I was a wee bit surprised this week. I felt your assessment of Ro was spot on; she just doesn’t get how demanding your work schedules is and how little time the crew, including you, have for outside interaction. I would rather have you be firmer in letting her know the priorities on board. As far as letting Kyle use the master… I know that we all use the deck area for our own; the deck crew take good care of us, and you were just trying to be a good gal. I get it that you tried to do something nice for Kyle given his efforts during the charter to please the charter guests, but I do feel your intentions were misguided. I am sure you had no idea that they were going to behave in the disgusting fashion that they did, or you would have put and end to it ASAP. Your fault was putting too much faith in how you thought they were going to behave instead of how they actually behaved. They not only let you down, but me as well. Oh, and after watching “Bennie” just being “Bennie” this episode, I too would have been happier to see James rather than Ben.

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Let’s deal with Kelley for a minute. I thought Kelley was really putting forth a good effort to do his job to the best of his ability. He had a conversation with Nico, where, in my opinion Nico was totally wrong, and Kelley put forth a solid effort to do the right thing. Nico, where do you get off stating that you would defend your crew no matter what? Even if they are wrong, you would go to the wall for them? What were you thinking? If I find you doing that, you and the offending crew member will be on the dock looking for work. You defend someone when they are right and being wrongly accused, that’s how it’s done. That was not the case here. Get your priorities in order or you won’t last long.

Well, let’s get down to what really is the meat of this week’s episode. Shall we address this one by one or should I just lay into all of those who so graciously deserve it? Not sure what would be more effective. Their overall performance was appalling at best.

Ben, Nico, Lauren, and Kyle, in what world did you think that your behavior would go unnoticed? I have rules that all of you are aware of: Don’t embarrass the boat and don’t embarrass yourself. The four of you just totally ignored all of the above. It’s not my fault that you choose to ignore them. You’re all just fortunate that I’m just witnessing your behavior now.

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Let’s go crewmember by crewmember in dealing with this debacle. And make no mistake that is being polite, because if we were not on charter seven with only two charters to go, I would have fired all of you including and starting with a senior staff member named Ben. But having two charters to go and given the virtual impossibility of getting four crew to replace you, it is with distaste that I may be forced to keep you all on board. Much to my dismay, I might add. The future guests should not be penalized for your indiscretion and general lack of class.

Since when is walking down a 400 foot dock lined (with yachts on both sides) to the largest mega yacht in the marina with nothing on but a shirt and a smile your idea of class, culture, and breeding? If that is how the upper crust in England behaves, sorry, but I want no part of it. You violated both rules and compounded with your behavior last week; you sir, are an embarrassment to the yacht. Your continued behavior after you got back on board was no better. You are fortunate that I was not privy to what happened until now or there surely would have been serious consequences. As a senior staff member of the crew, you have a responsibility to behave in a certain fashion and set an example for the rest of the crew, which I have made clear to you on several occasions. You most certainly are not paying attention. As to whether you can redeem yourself, I would have to say at this stage of the game I doubt it. I am severely disappointed in your behavior as someone who claims to be a gentleman.

Lauren, I have no words to describe your total disrespect for the yacht you work on and your coworkers as well. Kyle, albeit not clearly enough, tried to tell you and Nico that he wanted to enjoy his night in the Master. Your behavior as well would have gotten you a plane ticket home had I known about it.

Nico, wow, you were the one in the beginning of the episode wondering why you couldn’t just have a functioning deck crew. Well, need I say more? While your boss did the correct thing in going to bed and counting on his crew to behave appropriately, you just couldn’t resist getting “twisted” as you so eloquently put it. Well done, Nico, way to show the world that you can do a professional job. You as well would have gotten a plane ticket along with the rest of your cohorts. Integrity is doing the right thing when no one else is watching. You failed in that.

Kyle, I’m not sure what you were thinking when Kelley asked you to get this thing settled between you and Sierra, but I’m sure it wasn’t what happened. You owed it to the boat and yourself to put it behind you and move on. But you just couldn’t bring yourself to do that, could you? Let’s look at the overall view here and see what’s what? You come onto a new boat with no charter experience whatsoever, and from what I can see, a ton of baggage. You have a baby mama and a girlfriend at home, and then you fall head over heels for a stew on board that is not exactly going gaga over you. You try to get in close with her, and when that fails, you get an attitude. On top of that, you don’t disclose all of this to her before proclaiming that you want to bed her. Do I have this right? That’s just so wrong on so many levels, I wouldn’t know where to start. All I want out of you is to do your job properly, which I might add you seem to be having difficulty with. I don’t care about your personal life or preferences, unless they interfere with my boat. Then I have issues. To your credit you did try to get the rest of the crew out of your master evening (but in my opinion not seriously enough. And then you just caved and went along with it. And really, does anyone really care about you wanking off? Please keep that to yourself in the future. Plane ticket? Oh yeah.

OK guys, I guess that’s it for me tonight. Should I have the opportunity to have a conversation with you all, I must say, I am looking forward to it. To say that I’m embarrassed and disappointed would be an understatement for sure.

This is not what I expect out of my crew, so I apologize to you for their childish behavior and will do my best to see that this sort of thing does not happen again. Had I known then what I know now, things would be different. I’m sure you all had higher expectations of them as well. So until next time, thank you all for watching and may you have the wind at your back, and calm waters beneath your keel.