I haven’t posted here in a while. But since I opened this can of worms, by restarting my blog again, I might as well hammer these issues out here. IDK if it does any good, most of the comments here are unhelpful. But it is nice to have the occasional white female well-wisher or a fellow Eurasian male who relates. People will tell my I’m crazy for having these thoughts. But to the extent that they make fact-based arguments and not just ad hominem slurs, I suppose it is better to air these ideas in public, rather than bottling them up inside. Even where I disagree, it forces me to buttress my case.

In a way its silly to imagine alternative lives. Siblings share the same DNA from the same parents, and yet they have entirely different looks and personalities. How much more different is it when it is a half-sibling from a different race? Hence, imagining a life for my hypothetical full-white or full-asian half-brother is not really imagining “my” life. Since with such different DNA, different parents, and a different environment, that imaginary half-brother of mine, is a whole different person. He is not the white me or the asian me.

Still, since I’m so angry about being Eurasian, and ultimately blame my parents for my genes and circumstances, it is worth investigating the alternate choices they could have made. With my dad’s white privilege, its rather easy for him. I would say that my imaginary half-brother would have a much better life, if my dad had married ANY other race of male, other than East Asian. Even South Asian Eurasians seem to have much stronger white features, they look vaguely Arab. Sure full white would be easiest. But a half black can be an Obama. And it is a statistical fact, that Black men have it easier with white women on the dating market. And in economics, it has been shown that Asian men do the worst in job interviews, since they show the least “narcissism”. And so the Black personality is more suited for showing charisma. Half-Latinos can easily pass as Mediterranean whites. Basically anything is better than Asian. Dad had it easy. If a white man marries any other race but Asian, he can give his sons a good life. And yet some white men, just have a need to mate with the worst race, and give their sons hell.

Ok, back to mom. She carries the curse of her Asian genes. Lets look at the 3 options. She can marry a white man, as she did. She can marry an Asian man in Asia or America. I have already looked at “my” imaginary life as a full-Asian in Asia. And I have decided that if you live in developed Asia, you in no way benefit from moving to America. In fact I’d rather have half the income in Asia, than endure the racial humiliation of America. USA’s per capita is around $50K, so if you are making $25K or more in Asia, there isn’t much of a reason to come here. And my family didn’t come here. Its not like I’m the son of an Asian family that immigrated to America. I’m the son of a single Asian female, who married a white man. Its hardly even a form of immigration. We didn’t even need the 1965 law changed for that, since marriages always granted citizenship. During the racist 1920s there was talk of dropping it for American women who married foreigners, but NEVER American men.

All right so lets get to the third option. Suppose my mom had married an Asian man in America. Suppose I was a full Asian-American male. Would that be better than being a Eurasian male? Do Hapas enjoy an advantage over full-Asian men? In theory yes. On paper yes. Since white=attractive and Asian=unattractive. Supposedly having 50% white DNA should be an advantage. Now I don’t look 50% more white, but even to the extent that I do look more white, whatever it is, its that much more of an advantage.

But this is just a hypothetical advantage. 0 X 1000 is still 0. I have had 0 relationships as a Eurasian man. So does this mean I would have had negative relationships as an Asian-American man?

Lets assume all other things being equal. If I have to live the exact same life as a Eurasian man or an Asian man, in America. Why not at least have an Asian dad? In what way is having a white dad an advantage? The white last name. But if thats so important an Asian can have it legally changed. Besides AMWF Hapas with Asian last names, do much better than WMAF Hapas with white last names.

Well, why does there have to be a silver lining?

We can just agree, that my parents furthered their own self-interest at the expense of their own son. Even for their own selfish interests, it was only of short-term benefit. They certainly aren’t benefiting now. They have a useless, worthless, Eurasian son, that they regret having.

Are white dads more tolerant of basement-dwellers than Asian dads? IDK, all of Asia is hikki morris, so probably not.

There is no silver-lining, when you are Eurasian. I’m not so dogmatic. I can play devil’s advocate and try to argue from the other point of view. For example if I just wanted to say that 2015 society was horrible for everybody in general. I could argue against myself, on all the human progress since the Middle Ages. Certainly Asia is in much better shape now, than it was in 1915. Still I can’t take too much happiness in it. What good is it to me, if I’m doomed to live the life of a hated Eurasian male? Whats the point of economic progress, if it can’t buy you happiness? Look at South Korea and Japan. Sure economically they are top-tier 1st world nations. But what good is it, if you are the worst race of males, hated by all women including your own? Why even bother trying? And Japan has stopped trying. Despite being the 2nd most advanced economy, they have given up on life. And this seems to be the future for the rest of East Asia, as it develops. Even China, has a big internet addiction problem. As China completes its economic miracle of becoming a Big South Korea, will its people also just give up on life? I myself used to be very impressed by the Asian developmental model. But whats the end result? Japan is the most advanced country in Asia, and its men live in misery. Men in Kenya are probably more happy. A Kenyan man can come to America, marry a white woman, and have his son be President. So I don’t care about GDP per capita. My GDP is $0. I earn $0 a year, and I’m a negative drain on my parents. But Asian-American men earning $100K a year, seem just as miserable as me. So better to sit back and relax.

Back to my question. Is it better to have an Asian or white dad? I guess a white dad is a better guide to American culture. But again, since I’m a 0 in America, how much lower can you go than 0?

Ok. fine thats the answer. If I’m trying to play devil’s advocate for my parents, and suggest their intermarriage benefited me in anyway, I just can’t do it. I can’t think of anyway that its better to be Eurasian than not Eurasian. I can’t think of any mix that would be worse than a Eurasian male. A Eurasian male is the absolute worst thing, you can be in America. Even a Kenyan, can study economics, marry an American woman, and have a presidential son. There is nothing worse than being Eurasian. People hang “Starving in Africa” over my head, and thats worse than my “1st world problems”. But that African man, with his loving wife and kids, might not want to give up his life to be a Eurasian basement dweller. He might actually be happier than me. Certainly African-Americans have much higher self-esteem than Asian-Americans. Sure I wouldn’t want to give up my comfortable meaningless life, for the brutal struggle of the 3rd world. But again 3rd world “me”, would be a different “me”. IS everyone in the 3rd world dying of misery? They have friends, lovers, family, children. And they live their lives. And yes tragedy might await them, and all those blessings, might be brutally taken away. But at least they tasted it. In 1800, most Europeans lived like the 3rd world. So does that mean all humans up to 1800 should have killed themselves? Its not just “1st world problems”. We can call them 21st century problems. Anyone living in 2015 should just shut up about their problems, since it beats being a Medieval serf.

Obviously, I disagree. And the Medieval serf or third world peasant, who has friends and family who love them, might indeed be living better lives than me. Would you like to go live on the planet Mars, with advanced super-technology and comfort, if you knew you would be despised as an ogre outcast by all the Green people? And all the Green people would laugh at you when you complained about their universal hatred, and say “Martian problems”. Here you are with all your Martian Privilege, 1000 years ahead of Earth technology, and you are complaining. Would you rather be in America, with their pitiful 2015 cavemen technology?

The more I think about it. The more I see that being a Eurasian man, really is the worst thing in the world. Sure, even people with decent lives, can have terrible tragedies happen to them. But if we compare the day to day lives of the average person in the category, excluding calamities, then yeah Eurasian is worst. Sure, my negative pains might be less than most people in most times. And thats something to appreciate. The progress of history. But my positive pleasures are zero, and thats totally because I’m Eurasian. And IDK if many people would want to give up, all social pleasures, just for material security. Not that I’m that secure on those grounds either. If I don’t commit suicide, I’ll be a homeless bum in a few years anyway. So much for my GDP. I can’t appreciate living in America, any more than you would appreciate living in Mars. Yes, if you went to Mars, the technology might be millenia ahead of 2015 USA. But if your only social contact, would be the universal hatred and derision of all the Green people around you. Would you really trade that life?

People say that there are 2 billion Asians, so obviously they had no trouble reproducing. But Asia was geographically isolated through most of history. Imagine if all Asians had to live like Asian-American men. Would their population have grown to a billion under those conditions? Thanks to globalization, all Asian men are getting the American experience. And the streets of Tokyo, Seoul, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Singapore, are as full of WMAF couples as San Francisco. Is it worth it? Globalization is advancing the Asian economy. No region has made more economic progress than East Asia. But is it worth having Martian technology, if you have to be surrounded by Green men who hate you?

I myself am a product of this globalization. In any other century I would not have been born. In no other time in history, could an average citizen of West European descent have met his counterpart on the other side of the globe in the Far East. Those marriages were impossible for all, but an tiny elite of explorers. Its only in the last 30 years, where the average white man can marry the average Asian woman in peacetime. Hapas are a very recent experiment. And thats why people have to turn to all these weird analogies, to try to explain Hapas. Comparing us to Kazkhs, Peruvians, Eskimos, Arabs, Kurds, Finns or whatever. It tells you there is something wrong with Eurasians, when it is easier to name some 15th century Uzbek prince, rather than a 21st century successful son of a white dad and asian mom. Some of the references are just incredibly obscure. You have to go THAT far, just to name a good Eurasian, who is not even Eurasian? And I have a huge list of AMWF Hapa sons. Its not that I went hunting for them, in order to “prove” that AMWF is better than WMAF or anything. Its just that every single comment about a successful Eurasian male, ends up being an AMWF son. And over the years, that has accumulated into a huge list. And considering that WMAF couples outnumber AMWF couples 100:1. And yet successful AMWF sons outnumber WMAF sons 100:1. I can only conclude that AMWF sons are 1000x more successful than WMAF sons. It is the defenders of WMAF who have alerted me to this fact, from all the AMWF Eurasian sons they have sent me, in an attempt to prove that Eurasians can be successful.

What should I do?

When I felt misery at the general state of the world. I could argue all the ways the world is good. But I find myself unable to argue that being a Eurasian man is good. The more I argue with myself, the more proof I uncover of just how bad Eurasian life really is. I would have given up on life earlier, if I had known just how bad Eurasian really is. No one sets out to make a Eurasian son. WMAF is very popular, and Eurasian sons are just a waste product. And when people do talk about good Eurasian sons, there is always a catch. I guarantee he wont be the son of a white dad and asian mom.

Someone has to be the worst race ever created, I guess it has to be me.