Love, the famous feeling of profoundly passionate affection that some people feel for other people, has officially died. There is no more love in the world. Valentine’s Day is a sham, romantic comedies are all lies, and Shakespeare’s 18th sonnet is actually about how great summer is. You may be reading this next to your significant other and thinking, “No, love is real. I love this person,” but we’re here to tell you that’s simply not the case. Love is, and always has been, a cruel joke on humanity.


In related news, Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Mulder and Scully will be broken up in Fox’s upcoming X-Files revival series. That’s probably disappointing to the millions of people who were deeply invested in their relationship and the way it was slowly built up over years and years of increasingly disappointing alien conspiracies, but whatever. This comes just after ABC confirmed that Kermit The Frog and Miss Piggy have also broken up, so if these two couples can’t make it work then there’s obviously no hope for anyone else. Honestly, we’re really just numb to the whole thing.

EW says this information came from a new X-Files clip that Fox viciously showed off during its Television Critics Association press event, which featured the characters having “a major blow-out fight” and Scully referring to herself as Mulder’s “friend and physician” and nothing else. Fox later confirmed that the pair had indeed broken up in the years between the last movie and this new series, even though this amazing thing happened just a few months ago.


But whatever. We’re over it. Love is stupid and the new X-Files starts in January, if you care.