When we go looking for greeting cards we do what every other man does – we find the slot closest to empty and we buy that one. After all, someone had to have read the card in that slot at some point and decided it was worth buying so we’re just going to trust them and go with it. Unfortunately, every card in JoAnne’s Hallmark for Secretary’s Day was overflowing from their pastel colored $6 prison and we spent the better part of an hour (we left when the cute cashier went on break) in the midst of a dilemma of epic proportions.

On one hand, you can’t not get her a card because then you’re in the shit. On the other hand, if you get her a card that sucks, isn’t heartfelt, doesn’t “fit” her, or she can’t put on the fridge, you’re in the shit. We decided that since we’re pretty much screwed regardless we were going to make cards that said what Hallmark never could – what men were actually thinking.









































