How to use the term queer

The term queer to refer to non-cishet people has spread since the 1990s—reaffirming if used as a self-identifier among queer people but extremely offensive if used against them.

In 1991, Queer Theory—a subset of gender and culture studies—made its academic debut. In 1999, the TV show Queer as Folk aired in the UK and portrayed the everyday life of gay men—the American version was a hit across the pond the following year. In 2003, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, a reality TV show where gay men give straight men a makeover, became a huge hit too. It was even rebooted in 2018 on Netflix as Queer Eye.

For some in the LGBTQ community, queer is still offensive because some people still use queer as an anti-gay or anti-trans slur. For an example of how queer gets used in a derogatory sense (illustrating why using queer as a slur is so hurtful), look no further than the schoolyard game Smear the Queer, a variation of dodgeball where one student is the queer who gets “stoned” with balls.

The fraught history of the term queer to insult non-cishet people can cause controversy even when organizations are trying to be inclusive of LGBTQ identities. For example, a man in his 60s applying for a job at Colorado College in 2013 filed a formal complaint with the state when the application gave him the option to mark his gender identity as queer—something that reminded him of being evicted and losing his job for being gay.

The Q in LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) is taken to stand for queer but also questioning. The debate continues, although both interpretations are generally accepted.

In the UK, queer is still used in some situations to mean “strange” or “odd” without any relation to sexual or gender identity, particularly in the expression “don’t be queer,” or “don’t act strange.” A Brit might get some sour looks using language like that in the U.S., though.

More examples of queer:

“The video depicts a relationship between two queer women, and eventually, the destruction of said relationship. The couple has a funeral of sorts for their time together.”

—Elana Rubin, Out, July 2018