What do INDIA, ISRAEL, USA, DOLLAR and IMF actually stand for?

The conspiring West and the enemies of Islam are constantly coming up with means to demean our religion and our great country. Most of their efforts are dedicated to mock and taunt us. Because, let’s face it, no matter how much worldly development they conjure, they can never reach the status that Muslims and Pakistanis have in the world, and more importantly in the afterlife.

Among many of their petty tactics is the use of satanic acronyms that they propagate through their cunning media, and we end up falling in their vicious trap. Likes for instance, until recently I had no idea that LOL, commonly misperceived as “Laughing Out Loud”, actually stands for “Lucifer Our Lord”. And may Allah bless that dear brother on Facebook who corrected me at the right time, or I’d have worshipped the living daylights out of Lucifer through a laughter veneration mechanism.

Similarly, it took me a little while before I realised that PEPSI stands for “Pay Each Penny to Save Isreal”. Never have I had a sip of that satanic cola after that, but I’m afraid by the time I had experienced the rude awakening I had drunk enough galleons to singlehandedly finance Israel’s defence budget till the early 2000s. However, I count myself incredibly fortunate to have found the righteous path just as I was about to strike optimum ignorance.

Sick and tired of these low blows and infinite conspiracies, I went on an Arrivals-esque research surge to ensure that I dug out all the major satanic acronyms that our enemies have created to degrade us. This compilation has taken three years’ worth of undercover espionage that took me from Tel Aviv to Washington to Bangalore, and the results are as shocking as they are disgraceful.

Here are some of the most common satanic acronyms that we use almost every day, much to the delight of our enemies.

INDIA

Who would have thought that “India” could have its raison d’etre hidden in its name? Never did anyone think that with names like Bharat and Hindustan already there, why the country would need a third name, and choose to proliferate it more than the other two. The denial of the supremacy of Islam and Muslim rule over the entire region is in the country’s name. Ladies and gentlemen, INDIA actually stands for: Islam Never Developed inside Asia.

ISRAEL

What Israel actually stands for isn’t surprising, but the fact that over 65 years after its creation no one has been able to unearth it, definitely is. A country whose sole purpose of creation was to counter Islam in a predominantly Islamic region could only have anti-Islamic aims and ambitions, as has been reflected by Israel’s actions since its inception. And hence, it shouldn’t surprise anyone to find out that ISRAEL actually stands for: Islam Should Remain an Extinct Legacy.

USA

What can a country of Satans hide in its name? Glorification of its satanic identity of course! The very existence of America is dedicated to fighting against God and propagating Satan worship all over the globe. And so, rather predictably, USA stands for: United Satanic Authority; or simply US for: United Satans.

Dollar

As we all know that the dollar is one of the tools that America uses to rubberstamp its global hegemony. But what greater good – rather greater evil – do the Americans achieve from economic monopoly? The answer lies in the name: dollar. It’s pretty obvious that America is trying to gulp our wealth and use it for their devilish purposes and hence DOLLAR rather appositely stands for: Donate Our Lucifer Lord All Rupees.

IMF

Anyone with an inkling of worldly know-how knows that the hub of anti-Islamic manoeuvres, especially in the fiscal realm, is the IMF. All the loan deals, all the bailouts have a distinctly bitter anti-Islamic flavour. And so when on a special mission in Washington, I came across a few classified papers revealing what IMF is short for, everything fit seamlessly into picture. IMF obviously stands for: Islam Must Flop.

And now that we know what the names of major anti-Islamic loci stand for, let’s take a look at a few IT terms and everyday acronyms that have a satanic core.

WWW

Every time you type, “www” before a site’s domain, you’re basically admitting that “We Worship Wine”. Now the West knows that wine is forbidden for Muslims, and that we can’t imagine worshiping any other entity except Allah, and yet they force us into stating that we worship wine multiple times in a day. The best way to counter this is to completely avoid the “www” and type the domain followed by dot com – that will teach those infidels a lesson.

HTTP

When you type, or see, “HTTP”, you have “How to Trouble Pakistan” on your mind. And so it’s no big surprise that most of the global conspiracies against our country originate from the internet. The best way to counter this is, again, by ignoring everything before the domain name, and try not to think of anything when you see HTTP written somewhere on your internet explorer.

MEME

The fact that that Islamophobic atheist Richard Dawkins came up with this term should have told the Muslims that they shouldn’t use it. “MEME” stands for “Murder Every Muslim Entity” and Dawkins’ recent tweets alone tell you how much hate he spews against Muslims. So before you laugh at various memes that your “friends” share, please do realise that it’s the devil worshippers who are actually laughing at us.

Everyday acronyms

The Hindustani influence in churning out satanic acronyms has meant that a lot of their creations are now a part of the everyday usage. Acronyms like BTW (Bhagwan the Warrior), OK (Oh Krishna!) and PS (Pakistan Sucks) have unfortunately become ubiquitous now. Also avoid saying ATM, which can mean both “Against the Muslims” or “Atheists Torment Muslims” and even OMG which stands for “One More God” and is an insult to the Islamic concept of Tauheed.

These are just a few examples of how the infidels force us to insult our own religious and nationalistic sentiments on a daily basis. My personal journey, started with LOL and should eventually culminate in an encyclopedia of satanic acronyms to guide our Muslim brothers. Please spread the word and tell your fellow Muslims that when they say LOL they acknowledge Lucifer as their lord; when they LMAO they recognise Lucifer as their absolute omnipotent and when they say ROFL, they do something to Lucifer which cannot unfortunately be printed here.

The writer is a financial journalist and a cultural critic. Email: [email protected], Twitter: @khuldune