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I found the BEST Twitter user EVER. @BibleStdntsSay‘s profile says this:

I teach Biblical Studies for an undisclosed university. These are actual statements from assignments turned in by my students. They’re…um..interesting 😉

I have a kid in college, so I understand the mentality (and the awesome thinking that happens at this age) all too well. The anonymous professor’s responses are even more hilarious than the things his students say. There was too much good stuff in this guy’s Twitter. I only chose the ones that made me genuinely LOL. Expect a Part II. Enjoy!

Dear Student, The website http://t.co/2G71xCk2nk is not really considered an academically credible source. — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 26, 2014

"Any reader of the Bible seeking the true meaning of the scripture should not use individual reasoning but rather should ask the author" — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) November 11, 2013

"For a Christian to be fully saved, they need to accept the terms and conditions." (No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) August 26, 2014

"I guess the fact that movies now use The Rapture as humor has also brought people to believe that it’s actually what will happen." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) December 9, 2013

"President Ronald Wilson Reagan is another 666 for me!" — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) December 18, 2013

"With a Biblical Worldview, one believes God solves problems. Atheists believe in other solutions such as the government or education." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) December 20, 2013

"During the struggle to abolish slavery, slave owners did everything in their power to ensure that this did not happen." (You don't say.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) December 20, 2013

"God knew waaay back that people in 2013 could never understand how there was light & dark without a sun & a moon. So BAM he created them." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) December 3, 2013

"Articles like this 1 scare me b/c they make me question everything I was ever taught. I’d rather just believe what my family believes." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) December 9, 2013

"Freedom from feelings of guilt or shame are is welcomed as an atheist." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) August 26, 2014

"During Lincoln's presidency, a nasty civil war erupted." (You might have heard of it.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) August 27, 2014

"Atheists do not live with belief that a higher power is always monitoring your thoughts." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) August 26, 2014

"Contrary to these beliefs, an atheist believes that the future is controlled by our human people." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) August 26, 2014

"People didn’t start questioning the Bible until the last two centuries." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) November 14, 2013

"When I think of the Ten Commandments, I immediately think of how they seem to be similar to the Bill of Rights." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) August 26, 2014

Dear Student, I also get suspicious when you forget to put your own name on the paper, but cite Max Weber & Frederick Nietzsche. — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) August 26, 2014

Dear Student, You DO realize that I can cut & paste sentences out of your paper into google and find the website you lifted it from, right? — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) August 26, 2014

"Removing yourself from politics altogether goes against God’s revealed will to be submissive to our American government." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) August 26, 2014

"The topic of pro?-choice and gay rights tends to be the dividing line between devout Christians and?not so devout Christians." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) August 27, 2014

"Scientists have faith in science and they need their logic to explain everything around them." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) September 22, 2014

"People have to have faith in something, and trying to straddle both science and religion can be challenging." (You have to stretch first.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) September 22, 2014

"The Bible does not change its rules for anyone." (Except for the parts of the Bible where it explicitly does that.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) August 27, 2014

"I'm not sure what you mean when you say 'different points of view'" (Then buckle up, because this will be a bumpy ride.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) September 8, 2014

"The panel discussion was hard to follow which was mainly due to the length of the video." (It was 20 minutes long.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) September 8, 2014

"If the bible was never printed what book would have been the most read and printed book ever?" (The Hunger Games?) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) September 8, 2014

"Articles like this 1 scare me b/c they make me question everything I was ever taught. I’d rather just believe what my family believes." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) December 9, 2013

"I am offended by Peter Enn's interpretation of Exodus." (Offended by a different interpretation? Buckle up. This will be a bumpy ride.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) September 22, 2014

"The writer is almost lettin gus know that you can only believe in one science or God and I compltely agree." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 26, 2014

"In the United states alone, there are a maximum of 26,822,520 people who proclaim to be nonbelievers of God." (Oddly specific. No citation) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 26, 2014

"Atheists usually do not believe in God." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 26, 2014

"There is no debate that God created both heavens and earth and everything in between there's no debate." (You keep using this word?) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 26, 2014

"As a whole, we do not debate who God is and the power that he holds." (Sure. Nobody ever does that.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 26, 2014

"What i've come to understand is that we have the right to be wrong." (You really ran with that, didn't you?) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 26, 2014

"So, if we are going to be hot for Jesus, we must do it all the way. Put our minds, bodies, and souls into it." (Quote. I kid you not.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 26, 2014

"My sister always said 'You cannot be luke warm for Jesus, you have to be hot for Him!'" — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 26, 2014

"I'm in the middle of finishing writing and final edition on a devotional I'm publishing & I allowed my course to stuffer." (Actual excuse) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 24, 2014

"Bush ran for president on his religious belief that he would restore honor & Christian morality to the Office, after Clinton disgraced it." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

"Every President & Vice President with the exception of the current one, Barrack Obama, was raised in a family with Christian religions." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

"President Clinton seemed forgiven and has moved on unlike that of Monica Lewinsky." (What does this even have to do with anything?) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

"During Presidential Elections people often take sides." (True.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

"Mixing the Bible and Politics seems a strange mix, however it has been going on since the Old Testament. In the book of Acts, ?" (Sigh) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

Dear Student, You actually cited George Carlin. Somehow this gives me some hope. — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

Dear Student, Wow. You actually cited FOX News. — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

"Christianity originated many years ago." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

"Atheists & Christians use various techniques during debates & unintentionally or intentionally disrespect the other" (As in your paper.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

"Christians don't like having discussions with Atheists b/c they are not educated enough to have a debate." (They also hate condescension) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

"Despite Atheism not being a religion, people who identify with it have their own worldview which is very different from the Christian one." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

"Atheists do not like being labeled as ignorant because of their belief." (Yeah, atheists are weird like that.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

"Atheists believe that nobody has a soul and that either nothing happens when people die, or they are reincarnated." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

"Christians answer to sin is being spiritual while Atheists believe that evil can be corrected with more government." (Sigh) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

"Atheism is a word that is translated into no god which is the belief that there is no god." (Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 21, 2014

"We read the same Bible, but we have different religions such as Buddha, Catholicism, 7th-Day Adventist, Baptism & Pentecost to name a few." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

"It's no wonder our government is wasting tax payers money on these lavish extended vacations. The Bible is an afterthought to them." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

"It’s no wonder every time we turn on the television all you hear anymore is negative news." (I'll bet I can guess where you get your news.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

"There’s a touchy issue about transgender persons & bathrooms & pastors have been getting involved." (Not the best word choices) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

"The last political issue with Biblical implications is euthanasia." (If you knew what you did there, I'd probably give you extra credit.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

"Creationists are labeled anti-science & ultimately have their intelligence insulted for daring to go against the mainstream." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

"Another issue that pops up involving legislation against Christians is the movement to ban circumcision." (FACEPALM!) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

"Despite numerous media sources promoting the phrase, there is nothing in the U.S. Constitution about the separation of Church & State." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

Dear Students, A reminder: The dictionary does not count as one of your required sources. — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

"America has seen 'Merry Christmas' become 'Happy Holidays' & Easter break become 'spring break' amongst many many others" (Oh, 1 of these.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

"Voting should not be political." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

"Christians do not have any doubts." (Sigh.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

"I think being active in politics is one of the ways to follow the teachings of Jesus, because I think its vitally important." — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

Dear Students, I continue to be amazed at how many of your grandmothers die the week a paper is due. I mean, what are the odds? — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 20, 2014

Dear Student, You actually made the choice to type your entire paper in Comic Sans. Sigh. — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 6, 2014

Dear Student, It is not considered good practice to type "Glory!" as a complete sentence in an academic paper. — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 6, 2014

"His statements make extreme sense to me." (Not just 'sense'?EXTREME sense!) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 6, 2014

"It is not an understatement to say Christianity is becoming more and more attacked and persecuted in America." (More of an overstatement) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) October 6, 2014

"Pharaoh enslaved the Israelites, but then Moses and Aaron confronted pharaoh to claim ownership of the Israelites." (Um?No.) — Bible Students Say.. (@BibleStdntsSay) September 22, 2014

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