Thief in Florida Pawn Shop tries to steal Assault Rifle by sticking it in his pants.

Marlon Paul Alvarez, faces grand theft charges for allegedly trying to steal an assault rifle from a pawn shop in Florida by stuffing it down his pants. The 19-year-old Florida resident must of really wanted the assault rifle. Talk about relative deprivation…. He wanted the gun so bad, that he walked down to the local pawn shop and tried to stuff one down his pants. Yes his pants… My lord that’s a real big gun your packing down there sonny you must be a hit with the ladies?

The would-be thief tried to fit the entire length of an AR-15 down his pants and then tried to hobble out of the store when he was, caught. Maybe he thought the folks at the Pawn Shop would think he was a Pimp with a Limp. You can’t make this up see video below.

Police reports state that the Davie Pawn Shop’s owner confronted Alvarez and subdued him.

The judge presiding over Alvarez’s hearing voiced concern for the rational thinking of the alleged crook stating “You went into that pawn shop and removed an AK-47 rifle on display and stuck it down your pants,” he said.

“After a while, you pulled it out, put it back, then grabbed another assault rifle off another display and put that down your pants.”

Alvarez has been charged with grand theft and apparently was rendered a beat down by either the Police or The Pawn Shop Staff. Bond has been set for Alvarez at $25,000. See skin blemish below.