Jennifer Lawrence salami, anyone? Kanye Wurst? Franco-fert?

Specially cultivated sausages grown using the body tissue of celebrities could well be a reality, if the science bods at Bitelabs are to be believed.

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Under the somewhat macabre banner of "Eat Celebrity Meat", the artificial food creation company claims to give its customers a brand new way to experience their favourite famous people – by eating them.

How? Well, according to the website, it all starts by picking a star – like Lawrence – from which they take "a quick biopsy to obtain body tissues". "Isolating muscle stem cells, we grow celebrity meat in our proprietary bioreactors," the ‘Culture’ stage reads. Finally, they "dry, age, and spice" the product "into fine charcuterie". And hey presto, you have yourself a J-Law salami.

"The JLaw salami will be complemented by a mixture of rabbit and pork," the prospective menu reads. "A charming and confident flavour profile, the JLaw salami is coarse ground in a rustic style, smoothed with notes of honey, and spiced with orange zest and ginger. Always surprising, this salami will never fail to entertain."

Shape Created with Sketch. Jennifer Lawrence's best quotes Show all 20 left Created with Sketch. right Created with Sketch. Shape Created with Sketch. Jennifer Lawrence's best quotes 1/20 “I was at the Oscars, waiting to hear if my name was called, and I kept thinking, cakewalk, cakewalk, cakewalk.I thought, 'Why is 'cakewalk' stuck in my head?'" - On why she fell at the Oscars 2013 2/20 "I finally get to make out with Christian Bale and he's a really fat guy. He's Fatman, not Batman." - American Hustle director David O Russell lets slip J-Law's on-set words to US Magazine 3/20 "I can’t even... It’s like past mad, it’s this weird other emotion … I feel like my heart just fell out." - To presenter Shaun Robinson after she spoiled the Homeland Season 3 finale 4/20 “He was at a party, and I turned into a perverted guy. I was like following him into rooms and staring at his ass…He asked me if I was on mushrooms and I said, ‘No. I’m dead sober. This is just me.’” - on stalking John Stamos at a party 5/20 "I think any time a girl has to show her thighs, it's never going to be her favorite look. I love the dress...if someone else wore it." - To Good Morning America Getty Images 6/20 “I’m a horrible dancer! I’m like a dad at prom. I look like Gumby getting electrocuted.” - On whether you'll see her twerking any time soon 7/20 PA 8/20 “I wrap myself up to look like Lord Voldemort so that they can’t see anything because the thought of giving them a picture that will make them money absolutely infuriates me.” - Entertainment Weekly Getty 9/20 “If I don’t have anything to do all day, I might not even put my pants on.” - Glamour Magazine Getty 10/20 “I think people are fascinated with breasts that bounce. They are so used to seeing [fake ones]. People are confused [that mine bounce]! My breasts have a life of their own.” - The Sun Getty 11/20 “You guys are just standing up because you feel bad that I fell and that’s really embarrassing, but thank you.” - 2013 Oscars acceptance speech Getty 12/20 “I really would not call myself a fashion icon. I would call myself somebody who gets dressed by professionals. [It's like], 'Dance, monkey, dance' right on the red carpet.' I would call me more of a monkey.” - To E! Getty 13/20 “If anybody even tries to whisper the word 'diet,' I'm like, 'You can go f– yourself.” - To Harper's Bizarre Getty 14/20 "I was surprised at how little camel toe problem there was. I was expecting a lot more." - To E! on her Hunger Games jumpsuit Getty 15/20 "If I were just your average 23-year-old girl and I called the police to say that there were strange men sleeping on my lawn and following me to Starbucks, they would leap into action." - To Vogue on the paparazzi Getty 16/20 “I’m the fastest pee-er ever. I’m famous for it.” - Rolling Stone Getty Images 17/20 “I can see the McDonalds right there. Wait, hold on, I didn’t say fries! I’m seeing you talk and all I’m seeing is me being pissed I didn’t get fries. And you have to remind them about ketchup because they never include ketchup, you have to ask for it. Cheapskates.” - Being interviewed on the Oscars red carpet Getty Images 18/20 “I want to play a character I’ve never been before-a crazy serial killer like Charlize Theron in Monster. I’d love to have to shave my head.” Getty Images 19/20 “This isn’t like an auction, right? You guys aren’t going to take it away?” - Backstage at the Oscars Getty Images 20/20 “This isn’t like an auction, right? You guys aren’t going to take it away?” - Backstage at the Oscars Reuters 1/20 “I was at the Oscars, waiting to hear if my name was called, and I kept thinking, cakewalk, cakewalk, cakewalk.I thought, 'Why is 'cakewalk' stuck in my head?'" - On why she fell at the Oscars 2013 2/20 "I finally get to make out with Christian Bale and he's a really fat guy. He's Fatman, not Batman." - American Hustle director David O Russell lets slip J-Law's on-set words to US Magazine 3/20 "I can’t even... It’s like past mad, it’s this weird other emotion … I feel like my heart just fell out." - To presenter Shaun Robinson after she spoiled the Homeland Season 3 finale 4/20 “He was at a party, and I turned into a perverted guy. I was like following him into rooms and staring at his ass…He asked me if I was on mushrooms and I said, ‘No. I’m dead sober. This is just me.’” - on stalking John Stamos at a party 5/20 "I think any time a girl has to show her thighs, it's never going to be her favorite look. I love the dress...if someone else wore it." - To Good Morning America Getty Images 6/20 “I’m a horrible dancer! I’m like a dad at prom. I look like Gumby getting electrocuted.” - On whether you'll see her twerking any time soon 7/20 PA 8/20 “I wrap myself up to look like Lord Voldemort so that they can’t see anything because the thought of giving them a picture that will make them money absolutely infuriates me.” - Entertainment Weekly Getty 9/20 “If I don’t have anything to do all day, I might not even put my pants on.” - Glamour Magazine Getty 10/20 “I think people are fascinated with breasts that bounce. They are so used to seeing [fake ones]. People are confused [that mine bounce]! My breasts have a life of their own.” - The Sun Getty 11/20 “You guys are just standing up because you feel bad that I fell and that’s really embarrassing, but thank you.” - 2013 Oscars acceptance speech Getty 12/20 “I really would not call myself a fashion icon. I would call myself somebody who gets dressed by professionals. [It's like], 'Dance, monkey, dance' right on the red carpet.' I would call me more of a monkey.” - To E! Getty 13/20 “If anybody even tries to whisper the word 'diet,' I'm like, 'You can go f– yourself.” - To Harper's Bizarre Getty 14/20 "I was surprised at how little camel toe problem there was. I was expecting a lot more." - To E! on her Hunger Games jumpsuit Getty 15/20 "If I were just your average 23-year-old girl and I called the police to say that there were strange men sleeping on my lawn and following me to Starbucks, they would leap into action." - To Vogue on the paparazzi Getty 16/20 “I’m the fastest pee-er ever. I’m famous for it.” - Rolling Stone Getty Images 17/20 “I can see the McDonalds right there. Wait, hold on, I didn’t say fries! I’m seeing you talk and all I’m seeing is me being pissed I didn’t get fries. And you have to remind them about ketchup because they never include ketchup, you have to ask for it. Cheapskates.” - Being interviewed on the Oscars red carpet Getty Images 18/20 “I want to play a character I’ve never been before-a crazy serial killer like Charlize Theron in Monster. I’d love to have to shave my head.” Getty Images 19/20 “This isn’t like an auction, right? You guys aren’t going to take it away?” - Backstage at the Oscars Getty Images 20/20 “This isn’t like an auction, right? You guys aren’t going to take it away?” - Backstage at the Oscars Reuters

There are also descriptions for "He's sexy. He's artsy. Let's make him salami" James Franco and "Always pushing the boundaries in taste" Kanye West.

The only problem is – how do they get the celebrities to agree to letting them use their body tissue? At the moment, Bitelab’s answer is social media peer pressure. Potential customers are encouraged to pick their star of choice and lobby them over Twitter using the tag ‘#EatCelebrityMeat’. They also urge followers to support them on ThunderClap, which means that if they generate enough buzz, the marketing site will "create a wave of attention" using timed Facebook and Twitter blasts.

And is it safe for consumption? "Celebrity meat production requires less than 1% of the amount of land needed for traditional farming," the website reassures us of its environmental properties. "Bite Labs’ meats are not affected by the growth hormones administered to farm animals, nor are they in contact with pesticides or other chemicals associated with industrial farming," it continues on the myriad of health benefits it believes it offers.

Of course, that’s all assuming that the whole project isn’t a gigantic hoax masquerading as a commentary on "the way celebrity culture is consumed".

Website Motherboard, which was launched by Vice back in 2009 (alarm bells ringing) claims to have spoken to a representative of the BiteLab team who goes only by the name of 'Kevin'.

"To develop Celebrity Meat, we're working with a group of bio-engineers and food designers, most of which have requested to remain anonymous due to the controversial nature of the product," he apparently said.

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"At the moment, I believe Jennifer Lawrence and James Franco are pretty neck and neck in terms of who has been tweeted at the most. We've gotten some responses from people offering us biopsies, but no one on the level of our big four yet. Most of the responses have been very positive, but of course some people are a bit uncomfortable with idea of BiteLabs – we think that's only to be expected when we talk about pushing the boundaries of tech and society."

He went on to 'confirm' that "the product is indeed salami" and that each one will have about 30 per cent celebrity meat, and 40 per cent lab-grown animal meats.

He failed to elaborate on the start-up 'project' any further, but something tells us this could well be the best hoax since spaghetti trees.

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