[21 Apr 2003|10:37pm] the only thing sick about today was me. Didn't feel to well, got a little better hung out at the mall for an hour and a half, got back home and felt a little sick again. Mayve friends bring out the best in you. Even get rid out the sick. Like when a person is in a coma, they say love and friendship and family also hlp bring the patient back out faster. Comfort. That's where it is. Someone once said "The things you fear the most have already happened." It's true. Not that I'm afraid of anything, or anything i wish to talk about (no I don't think I have anything to fear right now), but if it had already happened and is done with, why are we still afraid? Is it going to come back? Probably not. Life is a day by day, step by step kind of thing.



Pictures: "The smiling faces of a family, of friends. On a holiday, vacation, a child's birthday. We take pictures of those things we like to remember. We don't take pictures of those we wish to forget." True again. We take pictures of the happy things in life. But we don't take pictures of life. Ever take a picture of a crack in the sidewalk? Or a pile of ants? But that's life also. A single frame of life, time had been stopped for that brief millisecond. Only to tell us a story in the future.



I never thought I could learn so much from anything. A friend once told me "How can you be friends with someone if everytime you look at them it makes you want them even more?" She's right. Does't even have to be a person, it could be that new bike at Toys R Us, or even that rad shirt at K-Mart. Life is based on wants instead of needs. It's always I want that or I want this. Or I need this, when you really just want it. Right now, I feel as if, I am all alone. No one is here, or even near me right now.



Funny, once I thought I needed someone in my life. But all you need, are friends. No more, no less. In the 17 years (13 of which i can actually remember) of my life, I haveseen many things. But I have not seen them all. I wish i had a picture of everything. A city devoted to building just carrying nothing more than pictures.



I open up to you becuase I care. I care enough of you and trust you, that you will read this and learn more about me each time. From my poems to my rambles, you understand me a little bit more, or even a little bit less. But one thing is for sure....



"Buildings burn, people die, but real love lasts forever" I learn everything from movies. Moving pictures, that tell us a story, either ir be fictional or science fiction to even documentory. It's paints us a picture. I just wast you to know, everyone takes life for granted, it'll still be there tomorrow you think. Look back at those pictures. Remember that day? I do. I still had those highlights in my hair and a mini-lock for a necklace. I was wearing my "bowling shirt" and my "baggy pants." I remember, I may of lost the picture, but I remember. It was you, me, and two of your friends. Good times were those. Remember that one you gave to me? hahaha, you looked so cute with that comb/microphone. I remember. I remember days like those, i remember everything. Too bad it is only a memory. hahaha Frolic, such a stupid name lol.



I realized one day I'm going to have (a) kid(s). It's true. I'll fall in love with someone. I always seem to do. And I even thought up of names I want to name my child(ren):

- Atreyu (boy)

- Nora (girl)

- Nina (girl)



Well okay diary, I'm out for tonite. God speed.