A Song Of Sanskars and Hypocrisy

It remains an entertaining muse, to wonder what would happen if the violent and explicit world of Game of Thrones found itself situated in our saffron land, smack dab in the center of the fast pacing and humorously self-conflicted modern day Indian society. From the cheaply graffitied walls of the Sept, to the daunting DU cut-offs which wouldn’t spare even the likes of an Arya Stark, we can safely bet that India would leave its mark on the infamous series, achieving its sweet transition from ‘A Song of Ice and Fire‘ to ‘A Song of Sanskars and Hypocrisy‘. Here are a few things you and I can definitely agree and laugh about:

1) The Wall that defends the seven kingdoms from the Wildlings and White Walkers would be a little different here.

It would have photos pasted of the Old and the New Gods too, just in case. Sponsored by JK Wall Putty, Dewaare Bol Uthengi.

2) Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh would definitely be India’s Faith Militant, and who would be the High Sparrow, you ask? Anupam Kher, of course.

3) College professor would spend the whole lecture just trying to speak Daenerys‘ ENTIRE name during the attendance.





4) Lord Brahma would be the Many Faced God.

5) All the castles in India will be full of raju<3neha graffiti.

6) Everyone would call Tyrion as Chhotu and use same old jokes like “Cersei ko bolo complan pilaaye.“

7) The road direction boards would look something like this.

8) Ramsay would be thrown into a jail for his brutal crimes, but after three days he would get a bail and later become an MP.

9) Not even the Khaleesi will be spared by desi aunties.

10) “Aao kabhi haveli pe” will be Tyrion’s favorite pick-up line.

11) During the Purple Wedding, girls would hide Joffrey‘s shoes & later get executed for doing it.

12) If anybody would refuse for a mass bunk in college, they would have to do a Walk Of Atonement.

13) House Stark would turn into House Sharma with their words being “Exams are coming.”

14) Arun Lal would do a live commentary session of Battle of the Bastards and it will go something like:

“Jon Snow kalaiyo aur kadmo ka behtereen upyog karte huye, aur ye Ramsay Bolton ki talwaar se bahari kinaara lagte huye. Bahot hi takkar ka battle ho rha hai.”

15) Better still, we would have a cricket match between the bastards to settle the Winterfell feud.

16) Direwolves would have names like Tuffy, Tommy, Sheru, Pepsi.

17) Iron Bank of Braavos would be called “Iron Bank of India” instead, and it would have thousands of branches across the country.

18) And if we had Mark Gatiss in Iron Bank Of India, he would definitely say something like this:

19) Gendry would represent India in Rowing for the Olympics.

20) Before the Iron Throne Elections, Targaryen Janta Party would launch a campaign slogan like “Abki Baar Daenerys ki Sarkaar.“

21) Rakshabandhan would be quite an affair for the Lannisters.

22)

If Game of Thrones were made in India, at least 2 seats of Small Council had to be kept under reservation.#GameofThrones — Sarcasm Society (@Sarcasm_So) April 28, 2016

23) Desi Aunties would meet White Walkers and tell them “Beta kitne kaale hogye ho, itna dhoop mei mat ghooma karo..“

24) White Walkers would be the brand ambassadors of Fair n Lovely. Setting Impossible beauty standards since ancient times.







25) Tommen would constantly say “tu jaanta nahi mera baap kaun hai!” and cry later because he doesn’t know either.

26) Melisandre would be the brand ambassador of Olay – anti-aging cream.

#ifGOTwasinHindi

Mellisandre would b the brand ambassador for Olay.Before applying olay and after using the product pic.twitter.com/0PdAZn2q1P — Toral Joshi (@toral_joshi) June 25, 2016

27) Beggars at traffic lights would say “Beta, old Gods ke naam pe dede beta. Nahi toh new Gods ke naam pe hi dede beta.”

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28) Battle of the Bastards would delayed because of random sleeping cows on the battlefield.

29) Red Woman would be India’s Radhe Maa





30) Tyrion would just blame the driver and be done with the trial. No need for a combat. Tyrion bhai!

31) Baratheons would be greeted with great hospitality wherever they go in India, because Bharat mei Baratheon ka swagat humesha ache se karte hai.

32) Wun Wun from Game of Thrones would be India’s very own Daya, the door breaker.





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