They seem utterly unable to conceive of any reason a person would criticize them except for “is persecuting me because they are pro-abuse.” And most troublingly, there are numerous reports of them behaving abusively toward partners and exes, and they haven’t accounted for these except by claiming this is yet more persecution.

They’ve completely contaminated the originally-okay idea of “tools for identifying possible abusers” by turning it into “tools for identifying possible abusers and people MayMay doesn’t like and some completely random people too.” And they’ve used very flimsy connections to possible abusers as an excuse to out kinksters without their consent.

goldenorbrokenorlost:

pervocracy: jenninova: Sorry, but could there be some clarification here? Googling around that name doesn’t bring up anything that looks related to what you guys are talking about This is MayMay’s blog. They’ve gotten some positive press on Tumblr because they made “Predator Alert Tools” for dating websites. This press, however, neglects to mention that the tools are deeply flawed and sometimes privacy-violating; that MayMay themself has a long history of hostile, dishonest, and sometimes outright abusive behavior; and that they become threatening and aggressive with anyone who criticizes or refuses to promote their tools. One of the top posts on their blog right now is them telling someone—in great detail and apparently seriously—to kill themself. I’m all for anti-abuse activism, but calling yourself an activist is not a “get out of accountability free” card, and it’s really disturbing the way MayMay has been using it as such. Maymay’s history and approach these days frustrates me because I admire their drive to do something about these problems, I have a lot of sympathy for the hacker ethos of “demonstrate the possible”, I really like the idea of digital consent tools, I do think that activist movements need radicals out there yelling so the moderates look reasonable, and I’ve gotten a lot out of their writings and their analysis of the way the BDSM scene functions even when I don’t think it’s completely on-point. I don’t care if they consider it a form of self-care or however they’re justifying it—I don’t want to work with anyone who uses “kill yourself” as their response to criticism. And Cliff, you’ve got a really good point that pressure along the lines of “your friends are all abusers and you should isolate yourself from them” is… pretty fucked up. If that makes me not aligned with their goals in their book—I’m ok with that.

There are bunches of lies (as usual) here, but here’s what you need to know to untangle them all:

It was when politeness failed, when the obstacles to change became embodied by people like Cliff (who, by the way, I met once and got the impression Clif was deeply invested in being popular, a strain of “activist blogger” who are petty cowards who I think should go kill themselves) that I started using the kinds of language they don’t like to shake things up. I’m not ashamed of this, and no pathetic tone argument like this is going to make me sorry. I mean, really, how fucking privileged do you have to be to live in a world where “kill yourself” is such a rare occurrence in your social circle that you are shocked—shocked!—when someone like me says it? You pretty much have to be, well, a person like Cliff.

So, look. Kill yourselves. Your “personality manicuring,” is the problem you claim to eschew.

Also, your tone arguments are pathetic. Try harder, dipshits.