On September 9, 1987, The Ubyssey published an open frisbee golf tour of UBC campus. The course covers several kilometres of campus, winding its way through all of the main faculty spaces and landmarks. The map is dated and many buildings and locations either have different names or no longer exist — a challenge for anyone willing to try it today.

The guide says that this is a game you should play with friends. I don’t have those so I decided to go it alone.

Caveat: This article is not meant to be a full guide through the course, but rather a commentary on its possibilities today.

Prelude

I own no frisbees, so I had to call the bookstore to see if they sell them there. I was transferred to many people and none of them seemed to understand what I wanted. I start to think this plan was a bad idea. I hustled over to the bookstore to buy one and the cashier commented on how much fun I was going to have. I was dressed in the closest thing I had to a gym strip: pyjama shorts and an old work shirt.

Hole 1

I walked all around the SUB (sorry, Life Building) to figure out where the north entrance is. I ended up outside by the doors nearest to the SRC. Immediately I got my frisbee caught in an orange fence zone. I tried to get it out with a stick, but a tall guy inevitably had to help me. A woman also asked me for directions. There is no house post in the roundabout as the rules states, so I aimed for a tree instead.

Hole score: 4

Hole 2

Already, I was doing really badly. I made short throws so I didn’t hit anyone, but there were so many people walking around. My frisbee glided over the bike lockers. People kept looking at me and I was scared.

Hole score: 12

Total score: 16

Hole 3

I threw the frisbee from the Arts Cairn by the Irving K. Barber Library and it rolled back to me — as if my score wasn’t bad enough. I had to walk through a lot of mulch, but this hole was my favourite because I got to visit the Ladner Clock tower.

Hole score: 7

Total score: 23

Hole 4

Lots of beautiful people were eating lunch in the garden behind Koerner's, so I tried to throw the frisbee around the sunk-in zone. I stepped on a lot of new grass. I got the frisbee stuck in a bush and a guy laughed at me.

Hole score: 9 (I blame the gardens)

Total score: 32

Hole 5

Before I started this hole, I was nervous because there were lots of people between me and the flagpole. I kept seeing a woman in a red jacket talking on the phone. Was it the same woman? Some workpeople were lifting the fake wood outside of the Belkin. I tried to stick to the middle grass zone of Main Mall.

Hole score: 11

Total Score: 43

Hole 6

There were a lot of beautiful, probably expensive cars between me and the Graduate Student Centre. I hit the door of someone’s office.

Hole score: 5

Total score: 48

Hole 7

I was very nervous for this hole. I narrowly missed hitting a Porsche.

Hole score: 5

Total score: 53

Hole 8

I accidentally reread the instructions for hole 7, but I didn’t want to re-do it so I just estimated what my score would have been.

Hole score: 7

Total score: 60

Hole 9

There were too many people in this tunnel. A dude asked me what I was doing. My frisbee fell in a puddle.

Hole score: 5

Total score: 65

Hole 10

A guy picked up my frisbee and handed it to me. It was a kind act but sort of went against what frisbee golf is. This building had a lot of people coming out of it.

Hole score: N/A

Total score: 65

INTERMISSION

I got very hungry, so I went back to the Nest for food.

Hole 11

I skipped this hole because I’m in charge of my own destiny. I told you this was an interpretation of the course only.

Hole score: 6

Total score: 71

Hole 12

There were so many people here. I was nervous. This hole was a test of my dignity. I wanted someone to take my picture, but I didn’t know how to climb the Cairn and there was no one around to take it.

Hole score: 26

Total score: 97

Hole 13

I didn’t understand the instructions here. I walked through the Fred Kaiser Building — I didn’t want to get my ass kicked by engineers. I interpreted the ‘Cheeze factory’ to be the Engineering Student Centre and walked through that too.

Hole score: 8

Total score: 105

Hole 14

This parkade smelled like wood, which is nice, but my frisbee almost got hit by a car.

Hole score: 4

Total score: 109

Hole 15

Hitting someone coming out of the hospital with a frisbee would have been a low point in my life that I’m not sure I can bounce back from, so I walked the disc over to the side of the hospital building instead.

Hole score: 6

Total score: 115

Hole 16

I intended to skip this one. I thought the building had been torn down, but I found it by accident. A guy carrying important-looking styrofoam boxes stepped on my frisbee.

Hole score: 4

Total score: 119

Hole 17

A guy gave me my frisbee back. I got the disc stuck in some ivy. I carried the frisbee over the bus loop and guessed where the doors of the pool would have been.

Hole score: 20

Total score 139

Hole 18

This hole was the easiest by far. The distance from the big hole that was once the pool and the SUB (Life) was the shortest distance.

Hole score: 3

Total score: 142

Hole 19

I walked back to The Ubyssey’s office sweaty and tired. I’m not really sure if I learned anything from this. If you wanted to get to know your campus better, this would be a pretty good way of doing it. It would probably be really fun to play with a group of friends and some beers.

Final score: 142