This is a painful post to write as I got so so close, but now she has left the country and I’ll probably never see her again. However, I’m fairly certain I know where I fucked up…

I hit the streets on Saturday for my first proper session back in London and as expected, it was SHIT. I did 8 sets and got one number. I’d forgotten how bad the quality was, how unreceptive the girls were and how harsh the blowouts can be in London after 3 months in Eastern Europe. I had no enthusiasm to be on the streets at all and the quality drop was hitting me hard. I sacked off the daygame and went for beers with the lads that evening.

The next day I woke up late and in a shitty mood so I decided to get up, get showered and go walk off my hangover. My plan was to go out and enjoy the sunshine, I wasn’t going to throw myself in front of any buses. I left the flat at around 3pm, walked to the bottom of my street and ordered a coffee at the Costa. I meandered down Regent street, it was Sunday so they had pedestrianised it. There was a carnival atmosphere, it was mainly families, but it was nice to be outside.

I took the first sip of my scorching hot Americano and I almost spat it straight back out when I saw a very tanned brunette with big pouty lips and MASSIVE tits, she was wearing a flowery dress attached to a black boob tube and walking in my direction. I let her pass me and I had a good look at her front behind, she had a big flowery tattoo on her back. I noticed that every mans head was turning in her direction as she strolled up the street. I had to do it.

Open

I told her she looked pretty, she was very exotic and that she looked like she had just come from the beach. She just stood there looking me up and down.

“You’re definitely not from London, maybe you are from a caribbean Island..” I continued.

“HAHAHA, NOOO, IM FROM CALIFORNIA!!” she said in her loud, nasally, American accent. It irritates the shit out of me, but I decided I’d put up with it on this one occasion.

I found out she was a nurse in California, loved to travel and was only in London until Tuesday. I asked her what she was up to and she said;

“Actually, I’m looking for a bar, I WANNA DRINK!”

Ding, Ding, Ding went the SDL bell. I looked at her, looked at my full Americano and said “I know a nice bar just around the corner, let’s go”

V1 – 15:15

I walked her to a bar on Kingly street. We sat opposite each other at a table outside. I got us drinks, she had a double jack daniels and I a beer. We did the comfort fluff and I found out she loved to drink, exercise and travel. However, the most interesting piece of information was that her tits were fake, double D’s. They were impressive. We talked a lot about the plastic surgery culture and gym obsession in California, about her career and her family. She was 31 but she looks more like she’s in her mid-twenties due to going to the gym every day and the surgery. She’s a high 7, would have been and 8 a few years ago, I really wanted to bang her.

She offered to get the next round in but I suggested we go for a walk and she agreed. I walked her to a bar across the road from my new flat.

V2 – 16:00

She ordered us both double Laphroaig’s, we sat on a bench outside and I started the questions game. I asked her why she was single and she said that no man has been able to put up with her travelling. She travels solo a lot and often for two weeks at a time. I asked her to show me some pictures from her travels and at this point I sat beside her. I did my best to escalate both physically and verbally but it was difficult given that we were sitting outside in the broad daylight and there were a lot of people around. After another drink I decided to try and bounce her to the apartment

V2 – 17:30

As we were walking I asked her if she liked red wine and she said yes. I invited her to my apartment which just happened to be directly across the road. She agreed to come up without a fuss. I gave her a quick tour before taking her to my bedroom as Ricky and GG were also in the flat. I poured us red wine and I showed her some youtube videos. She guzzled the first glass down in about half a second, I refilled her glass and went for the first kiss. There was no resistance but she pulled away first. This happened a few times but she resisted further escalation.

I rolled off and then she said she wanted to go out. She got up to go to the toilet and bumped into Ricky in the hallway so we all had a brief chat before leaving. He would later text me this…

It was now around 18:30. I suggested we go to Camden market and she liked this idea. We finished the wine (she drank most of it!) and made our way out. As we were walking we decided we were hungry so went for burgers…

V4 – 18:45

After food I told her it was now too late to go to Camden so walked her to another bar at the top of my street. We had another drink each then started walking towards mine. I walked us into the supermarket and just assumed that she was keen to come back to mine. I bought a bottle of wine and walked back to the flat, she followed.

It was now somewhere between 20:30-21:00. I got her onto the bed again and poured the wine, again. We were both quite tipsy by now and she was very chatty. I put on Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona, we didn’t watch it much and the kissing got a lot more intense. I pulled her underwear aside and started fingering her hard. She was moaning loudly and I thought it was game, set and match. But then she pushed my hand away. I rolled off and tried again two more times. As I was fingering her the third time I tried to remove her top, but it was attached to her skirt, I’d never seen such a garment! I asked her how the hell do I remove it and she just laughed. Eventually her forebrain took full control and she said “I don’t have sex on the first date, this is too fast”. I rolled off completely hoping that she would reinitiate. But about 30 minutes later, at around 23:30, she ordered herself an Uber and was gone. Before she left she talked about hanging out the next day (Monday) as she would leave on Tuesday morning. Deal.



I pinged her the next morning, she was replying but I felt that the bubble had already burst and as suspected she ghosted after her last message at 11:54.

Where did it all go wrong?

I think I made the right call in trying to go for the SDL even though she had another day in town. I don’t think I escalated too fast, in fact, quite the opposite. The idate lasted 8 hours, 1 more than recommended by Mystery. When I had her in the bedroom the second time I should have got my dick out. Krauser probably would have done it in the first bar!

Oh well, I will know for next time…