Baby Not Expensive Due To Dad’s Missing Life

Money’s tight, and not as easy to make as it was a couple years ago. Now, more than ever, people are worried about how expensive it is to have a baby, often times opting for the $$ excuse: “yea, a few more years to get our foundation set financially and then we’ll start trying to make little people… through sexing.”

My wife and I were actually pretty worried about this too. When you’re just starting out you don’t know how much this baby thing is going to cost you.

Well, let me tell you what the first several months of parenthood are like: in the first months of parenthood there’s a lot less time for everything: money, romance, reading, hobbies, happiness, everything.

Say goodbye to going to movies, happy hours, restaurants, bars, concerts or anything else that isn’t in your living room and also isn’t sleep. No matter how into those things you are, you’re probably not going to be able to do much of it. Your kid owns you… and your WoGF (wife or girlfriend) owns you next. But…

The Silver Lining

But here’s the silver lining to all this – besides the fact that your kid and WoGF are great, like, seriously great man! You did well for yourself!

because you’re not going to see movies, buying new video games, having drinks and eats in bars, or spending virtually anything in the “entertainment” or “stay-married-fun” categories, you’re actually saving all that money! “Alright! We’re saving loads of money now!”

Of course you’re spending money on new baby sh!t: diapers, bottles, formula, strollers, car seats, cribs, changing tables, wet-wipes, prozac, Grey Goose (therapist’s orders!), etc… But it’s not nearly as bad as you thought because these expenses are offset by your non-life.

“Wow! When my life was about happiness I was trying new things, enjoying culture, going on dates etc. Now I’m just in survival mode. The cost savings is substantial!”

So in the end, you probably break even:

You get a kid

Lots of new, “fun” expenses

And then you simply exchange all the things you used to do for fun for half-naps.

I think we’re actually saving money now compared to our expenses 9 months before my son entered the picture – because all that pre-baby happiness is expensive! (But if we didn’t have all that Grey Goose and Cadbury’s we wouldn’t have a baby, now would we?).

And now you’re learning… because you’re so much less likely to get another box of Grey Goose! Or are you? ;)

So, when you think about having a baby, or hear others talk about the new expenses that come with a child blah blah blah… Just remember, you’re not simply adding a baby onto your life… You’re removing your life and then just filling up the emptiness with a baby! So you break even.

Here’s a question: what’s the most surprising expense that came with the baby? Is it how expensive diapers are, and how fast the little ones blow through them? Is it the marital counseling that comes with being completely pwned by chid-rearing? Something else? Do share!