We love Joey Votto around these parts. If you’ve been reading this site for the last few years you know this. We love his weirdness, his dickishness, and every time he trolls opposing fans for his own enjoyment. He’s one of baseball’s best players and his off-kilter personality only makes him more enjoyable to watch.

He’s at it again, and it’s as enjoyable as ever.

Cardinals star Matt Carpenter has been on fire lately. He’s on an offensive tear, and apparently it’s due to some kind of magic salsa that is made from ingredients from Adam Wainwright’s possibly also magical garden? Don’t worry about it. He’s hitting the crap out of the ball and that’s what matters here.

Votto, no slouch himself, wants some of that magic and getting the salsa recipe from an inter-team connection isn’t enough of a lucky charm for him. He wants that success for real and he’ll do anything to get it. Votto told The Athletic of his attempts at getting Carpenter’s hot bat to rub off on him. Literally.

Votto, though, wanted a piece of Carpenter in this instance. To be more specific, he wanted to grab Carpenter’s shin guard and rub it all over himself, hoping Carpenter’s hot hitting would rub off on him. Cardinals first-base coach Oliver Marmol intervened, good-naturedly, snatched the shin guard away and sent it back to the dugout.

He’s just the greatest. That he would not only do this but then share the story with a national outlet to share with the rest of the world tells you how much Joey Votto absolutely does not care what the majority of people think of him. Just in case we didn’t realize that about him already.

I hope Votto never stops being this weird. If the Reds were better or more positioned to contend this year maybe he’d hold back a little more. But honestly, probably not. Which is why he is who he is, no sense trying to change that.