Last year, a dingus in Toronto threw a beer at Baltimore Orioles outfielder Hyun-soo Kim in the seventh inning of the American League Wild Card Game. We would like to update you on this dingus. It turns out that he was given a conditional discharge, partially because of articles like this calling him a dingus.

According to the Globe and Mail, Ken Pagan was required to perform 100 hours of community service, banned from all Major League Baseball games for a year, and ordered to stay away from Rogers Centre. His conditional discharge had a lot to do with the punishment he has already received in the court of public opinion.

“He no longer enjoys the relative anonymity that most of us do,” said Smith. “He’s become known ... as the beer can guy.” Pagan has become the butt of jokes and been subjected to online harassment, Smith added.

I would like to think that the ellipsis in the first sentence has nothing to do with omitted words, but was instead a dramatic pause.

And while the internet did have fun calling Pagan a dingus, his lawyer did do a good job making me feel bad about that.

“He’s in counseling, he has significant anxiety issues. He’s afraid that everyone he meets will know who is already and have formed an idea in their minds that he is a jerk,” Smith said outside court. “He’s suffered with respect to the shame that he feels and the shame that he has brought on to his family and his friends.”

It can’t have been easy, especially considering Pagan lost his job because of his actions.

On the other hand, don’t throw beer cans at baseball players from the upper deck. The best possible upside is hitting an athlete with a beer can. The downsides, though, include getting arrested, fined, humiliated, and banned from baseball games for a full year.

Let this be one of the most visible, memorable cautionary tales for future generations.