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The Red Queen Didn’t Stand A Chance

It’s getting crowded in that rabbit hole!

“Okay, Lieutenant O’Diamonds. Why don’t you go ahead and tell me what just happened?”

“Very good, Captain Clubs. As far as we can tell, a little British girl fell down a hole, ate a cookie, and started a revolution, ultimately leading to the deposition of our monarchy.”

“And this little girl did this by herself, did she?”

“Well, not really, sir. You see, there was this handsome fellow who kept making very scary faces and shooting my men with… I guess it was a magic wand or something, and he was SO upset with these two stoners who kept reminding themselves to go back and change time-”

“Change time?”

“Yes, sir. One would say ‘Gotta remember to hide a trip wire right here!’ and then my guards would get caught in a net or something, and the handsome guy would start yelling about unstable temporal pathways and then a trash can with “Wyld Stallyns” painted on the side would drop on his head and, well, sorry I’m laughing, sir, but they really were funny about it.”

“So that was it? A girl, a handsome fellow, and two stoners?”

“Oh, and another girl, sir. She was bouncing around a lot, and kept… it was like she’d go in one place, and come out somewhere else. You know, like-”

”-that cat, yes, Lieutenant, I suspected his hand in all this. So where are all these invaders now?”

“Well… they left, sir. In two boxes. The stoners said something about a history paper. Oh, and the second girl took some of our cake, said it was about time, I didn’t really understand that part at all.”

“Well, I guess I don’t see much choice. Tell the guards to gather everyone together, we’ll re-deal the citizens and start our nation again.”

“And the British girl, sir?”

“Just give it a few years, the Americans will turn her into a goth sex symbol and she’ll never be relevant again.”

“Very good, sir. I’ll give the order.”

Wear this shirt: while traveling to a new place.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you insist upon strict Newtonian physics.

This shirt tells the world: “George Carlin would have made an AMAZING Rassilon. And then maybe we’d get to see an early Gallifrey populated entirely by sentient trains.”

We call this color: Black Orchid

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