Hopeless doctor

July 11, 2018

Dear Elon Musk,

First, Thank you for being on Earth!





I don't know you will have time to read this letter, but this hopeless doctor is writing by any way. When I became hopeless of so many things, I ignored myself;What the hell is going to happen if I am hopeless. The world will be going the way it is going. Then a time came when I became so depressed that my life felt worthless. At that time I constantly thought about peoples I really think are symbol of hope. Among these people you are on the top.

You may think why the guy who call himself a doctor is feeling hopeless and worthless. Long story short.. When you have big dreams and you you don't find time or other resources available, you become hopeless. Simple! Despite my hard efforts, I am in this situation- Hopeless and worthless.



When i go to sleep, i find Elon Musk driving his Tesla on mars. In the morning , when i find him on earth, it feels relaxing to me. There are many things on earth that require an Elon Musk. But unfortunately, there is only one Elon. If i had magical power, i would have transformed myself into Elon. But bad luck ! magic doesn’t happens unless the wand is in Elon’s hand.

Coming back to my hopelessness, I live in the part of world where a large percentage of population struggle just to fulfill their basic necessity.A student in a college can’t dream more than getting a good job. Dreams are crushed. One don’t dare to dream exotic,out-of box dreams-it’s risky.

But I dared to dream. In 2nd year of my medical education, i came to realise that artificial intelligence may revolutionize the way we interact the world. When i came to medical college, i had a dream- a dream to revolutionize medical science. I didn’t have the goal of becoming doctor and settle somewhere in urban area and start making money. I didn’t had goal of becoming a good doctor, a famous doctor or a high earning doctor. Instead, I had a vision to see less suffering, no patients dying due to lack of treatments, no patients suffering due to high cost of treatments, no patients suffering for the lack of health facilities.

But I saw all the above things. Sadly , I was student then. I didn’t have power to change anything except my result in exams. For turning my vision into reality, I learnt related discipline on my own. I realized somehow that computing and internet is going to play a big role in medical science, so I learnt programming(specially python). Very few doctor ever learn programming, that too by their own effort. I learned it to feel that what and how much medical science can be improved. I was sure, artificial intelligence will be able to do whatever i am being trained for.



And it happened! Now it seems that whatever we learnt devoting sleepless night was unnecessary. Those medical concepts, data, etc can now easily be learned by a computer. So why burden medical students with all the piles of books to memories medical facts. They can easily invest their time in some other creative tasks if rote memorization is handled by an AI. I will explain in upcoming posts how AI will improve medical science drastically, and how doctors are wasting their time and energy on things that can easily be done by computers. It is like travelling by feet when aeroplane is available.

I have become doctor not because my parent wanted me it but because I felt the need. When i was in primary school, my grandma died due to tuberculosis. At that time, tuberculosis was completely curable disease. But she died due to mismanagement of the disease. In my childhood I have also seen epidemics of cholera. Someone dying from some treatable disease was a normal incident in my village. These all incident provoked me to be a doctor. Despite my family being unable to support my education, I insisted to go to city for higher education on my own. I cleared entrance test just on self-study. Other students used to bully me. They used to say that I am crazy: How can I can crack entrance examination without coaching or tuition if they are not able to crack it with coaching and tuition and other type of support. But I finally did it. Financially I supported myself by providing home tuition. In medical college, scholarship was a great help.



It was in medical college, that i realized that being just another doctor is not sufficient. Someone had to be revolutionary, someone who can overthrow old and inefficient medical practices and come with new, fresh efficient, futuristic ideas in health services. And I selected myself for this. I started learning recent advances in all other scientific field and how those advances can be applied to make the health services affordable and efficient.



These dreams grewed and so did my guilt.I started feeling guilt of not being able to support my family financially. By rule, being a grown up, I should be an earning hand to support my family of six sister , mom and dad. But i was only able to support my education.

The burden of big dreams and Guilt of not being able to support my family led to severe depression and mental break-down. Five years have passed under treatment. Treatment had only provided an escape from reality. A reality that health services in my part of the word is as worse as used to be or worst. A reality that my dreams is still the way it was. A reality that I am financially bankrupt. A reality that I will not be OK if I am not changing all these harsh reality, yet the burden is beyond the threshold of my bearing power.



Despite all this hopelessness and helplessness, I am writing to you, as you are my hero and hope. You are the symbol of turning seemingly impossible dreams into reality. I can feel in my heart that when you turn your magic wand around me, all my hopelessness, helplessness will fade away and all the big dreams that is still a dream will turn into reality.



Thanks for being my Inspiration and hope.



By: A yet-to-be known doctor

Note: I have decided to write a letter to you everyday, even if you don’t have time to read it. Practically, it is not possible to talk to you. So all that could have been said sitting along with you , i would say in the letter.

Thanks .



