London (CNN) In London on Friday, as their spouses doubled-down on the fractious relationship between the United States and Great Britain, US first lady Melania Trump and Philip May were lawn bowling .

Bending over a grassy patch of green at a London veterans' retirement center to toss small balls at a larger ball, seeing who could get theirs closest, Trump and May (the spousal version) looked as though they hadn't a care in the world, May in his new blue suit, purchased just for the occasion, his wife British Prime Minister Theresa May said.

While US President Donald Trump and his British counterpart were busy making peace after Trump's bombastic interview with the UK's Sun newspaper , Melania Trump was trying to make a small flower pin during an arts and crafts session at the center, this time among school children.

"How does mine look? Is it OK?" she asked the prime minister's husband.

"Very professional," he replied, inspecting her work.

For the first lady, the lighthearted activities were an example of the daily nonchalance required by her role as the more compassionate partner in the Trump marriage, the one who can do things like visit with retired soldiers and schoolchildren, as she did on Friday talking up her "Be Best" ethos of the need for children to be kind and compassionate to one another.

If Melania Trump was flustered by her husband's somewhat caustic visit to NATO in Belgium earlier in the week, or the thousands of protesters waiting to parade down the streets of London Friday, beneath a large balloon interpretation of the US President in a baby's diaper , she didn't show it.

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"Why is your motto 'Be Best?' " a student asked Trump, something people at home are hoping to learn more about as well. "I want to help children be best in everything that they do, to be best at whatever your passion is, where you're focused -- everything in life, really ... and be best with each other, to be kind," she said.

Meanwhile, more than an hour outside of town, her husband was sequestered in a meeting at May's country estate, busy finding how to be best at maintaining his relationship with his British counterpart , and, more broadly, the United Kingdom.

A private first lady

Americans, and foreigners for that matter, might not deeply relate to or understand the first lady, nor are they privy to what she feels or thinks about, or discusses with the President. She fiercely guards her privacy and hasn't given an interview to the media since late last year.

Although she often makes short statements on issues and relevant moments, typically via Twitter or her spokeswoman, Melania Trump remains on the sidelines of controversial topics, loathe to wade into most political issues. Her independence from the President's West Wing chaos is seen as admirable by some, frustrating by others, who were hoping for a more issues-engaged first lady, or at least one who, right or wrong, could tame the habits of her husband.

In recent months, Melania Trump headlines have centered not around her platform, but a kidney procedure in May that raised more questions than answers, and a jacket with a thoughtless statement she wore while journeying to Texas facility for unaccompanied and separated children at the border.

Staying composed

Yet, it is abroad that Melania Trump tends to shine.

The first lady has become something of an expert at the fine art of keeping her composure while her husband is under fire, this time creating a wake of caustic headlines at NATO meetings -- while Melania Trump spent the day tasting chocolates and listening to a violin concerto with leader spouses in a leafy Brussels suburb.

President Trump blasted Germany's leader Angela Merkel for her country's complicated relationship with Russia, but that evening, Melania Trump charmed Merkel at a NATO leader dinner cocktail hour in Brussels. Cameras captured their amiable conversation showing both women looking relaxed and happy. In a frothy white dress, Melania Trump stood out on the event's blue carpet, smiling and holding her husband's hand for the long walk up the steps and into a museum for dinner.

Melania Trump displayed similar composure during her meeting with Queen Elizabeth II Friday afternoon at Windsor Castle , where she and the President had been invited for tea. The British monarch has through the years met with every US President, and often their wives, since Dwight Eisenhower, with the exception of Lyndon B. Johnson.

And although as the wife of Donald Trump, Melania Trump has come face to face with countless titans of business and government leaders, the sorts of VIPs that could possibly rattle a novice political spouse, she had yet to encounter a member of royalty as omnipresent as the 92-year-old Queen of England. Yet, again, she was the picture of poise and repose, wearing a prim and demure pale pink Christian Dior jacket and skirt, a thin black belt, and her signature pumps, her long hair, which she normally wears loose, put up in an elaborate chignon. The US President had on his usual dark blue suit and long tie, not bothering to button his suit jacket, for a trip to the Queen's castle.

Protocol

As a guest of the Queen, and an American, the first lady was not expected to curtsy, and she did not, which is common and more than acceptable by royal standards. Since becoming first lady, Melania Trump is an avid student of history and protocol, say those who know her, and for many of her trips abroad she has studied the right and most judicious way to navigate complex traditions of behavior and politeness.

Her husband, not so much.

It is Melania Trump who subtly nods to the culture of the countries she sets foot in, whether it's the colorful Dolce & Gabbana dress she wore in China last year that resembled a classic Chinese cheongsam or the boxy red Christian Dior skirt suit in Paris last July, an homage to France's most revered couturier.

It's also the first lady who picks the gifts and thoughtful tchotchkes for visiting foreign leaders. For French President Emmanuel Macron's April trip to the White House, the Melania Trump gifted a framed swath of the royal blue silk fabric featuring an eagle surrounded by laurels that was used to upholster the antique chairs in the Blue Room, inspired by a famous French furniture maker from the 1700s.

Many people recall Michelle Obama's first meeting with Queen Elizabeth in 2009, when she broke with the rules and put her arm around the monarch's back -- it is a faux pas to make overt physical contact with the Queen. But the Queen apparently did not mind, said the palace.

The appropriate thing for a first lady to do is to shake the Queen's hand, which the first lady did on Friday, but only after the Queen extended hers first, which is the proper order. The first lady should not be offended if the Queen didn't take to her immediately. It was a few meetings before she warmed up to Ronald and Nancy Reagan, although they would become quite close. When the Reagans went to Windsor Castle for a visit in 1982, Nancy was smartly dressed in an outfit surprisingly similar to that of her hostess: light-colored skirt and top, with matching hat. For the gala later that evening, they twinned again in shiny silver frocks and diamonds.

The meeting with the Queen came as the coda of Trump's two days in England, and it will likely remain the most photographed part of she and her husband's itinerary on this journey, at least for the events where they have appeared together as a couple.

While her husband somewhat clumsily attempted to keep pace with her majesty as they inspected the troops, the first lady stood back, remembering to put her hand over her heart when the National Anthem was played, and train her eyes on the bagpipers who performed "Amazing Grace."

It's unknown how things went inside the palace for their 48-minute visit and it is impolite for visitors to publicly discuss their conversations with the monarch. But a photograph released by the White House and the palace showed two beaming Trumps, standing on either side of the diminutive Queen, herself with a pleased grin.