UPDATE: The handwriting expert confirmed the identity of the student, who was given a formal reprimand and was required to write an essay on how his remarks can affect the gay community, to write a letter of apology to the professor and to meet with a dean of students to discuss enrolling in a program meant to teach tolerance.

My boyfriend began extensive renovations on a house (not the one he lives in) before we started dating, while he was seeing another woman. Because she did a lot of work on the house, he promised that she could live in it for a year rent-free. I’m uncomfortable with this, particularly because she has stated a desire to resume their relationship. Must he go through with this? NAME WITHHELD, LOS ANGELES

He must keep his word. But that could be less a cause for concern (and less a premise for a James M. Cain novel) than you suggest: he won’t be living there. And repairs can be handled by someone other than him. You might reasonably ask him to make such arrangements, too, so as to avoid his arriving in the middle of the night to “fix her sink” (by which I mean “fix her sink”).

You can also suggest that he seek a different way to compensate his ex for her efforts. Here’s where money, that convenient translation device, comes in. Your beau could offer to pay her rent for a year in an equivalent house  he could even find her such a house  or give her a flat fee to settle his debt to her. But she would have to agree to such a suggestion. He may not impose it upon her.