On his 1987 debut album Rhyme Pays, Ice-T shared that he eats "MC's for lunch and dinner," which okay, paleo diet. But nowhere does he mention what he has for breakfast, or if he even eats a morning meal, which explains his latest reveal on Twitter: He's never had a bagel. And that's fine!

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White people.. Don’t lose your Fn minds because I’ve never eaten a Bagle.. Take it easy.... lol — ICE T (@FINALLEVEL) November 9, 2018

We got here because of an episode of Law & Order: SVU, the show where the Ice Oscillator plays Fin Tutuola, a sergeant in the NYPD. Fin was in possession of a cinnamon raisin bagel, which prompted what I can only assume are Bagel Purists to saunter into the actor's mentions to ask why. His explanation? "Lol.. That's what they wrote."

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If you think I give a fuck... You gotta be new.... pic.twitter.com/GH9WXjdPbe — ICE T (@FINALLEVEL) November 9, 2018

People are touchy about their damn bagels. In fact, it was a cinnamon raisin bagel (albeit with lox and capers) that proved to be the biggest controversy of Cynthia Nixon's gubernatorial campaign, prompting reactions ranging from "misfire" to "crime against humanity." Nixon would go on to lose by 30 points to Andrew Cuomo, a governor who has left New York City's transit system in ruins, but would presumably never disrespect spongy bread.

Even more recently, Apple came under fire over the inclusion of a bagel in its latest emoji update. The problem? The fake cartoon bagel was too plain. (To calm the masses, cream cheese was applied, and cooler heads prevailed.)

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You call this factory-produced bagel an emoji that stands for all bagels??? New Yorkers demand more. https://t.co/kvo6THEjNO — Pat Kiernan (@patkiernan) October 3, 2018

So, to recap: Wrong toppings, too many toppings, not enough toppings, when it comes to bagels, you can't win. So respect to Ice for taking the advice of the 1983 film WarGames, in which a computer tackles the potential outcomes of a nuclear war: "The only winning move is not to play." Nukes, bagels, same difference.

How about a nice cup of coffee?

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I’ve never drank a cup of Coffee ☕️ either... Go CRAZY!!! — ICE T (@FINALLEVEL) November 9, 2018

Well, shit.

Nate Erickson Senior Lifestyle Editor Nate Erickson is the senior lifestyle editor for Esquire.com.

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