yes

Is he willing to stop me, but not able?

Then he is not omnipotent.

Is he able, but not willing?

Then he is malevolent.

Is he both able and willing?

Then why am I still alive?

Is he neither able nor willing?

Then why call him God?

#FF0000

Six hundred and twenty.

Seven hundred and forty.

Between these lies eternity.

All returns to me.

I don't work the same as other people.

You look inside me and I've got the same blood and guts and so on and so forth.

But there's just something about my brain.

It's been twisted, you understand, twisted by a man who thought it would be fun.

Or perhaps not.

Perhaps he kept me the same and twisted the world.

Or perhaps not.

the teacher asked the student

"why is five"

the student asked the teacher

"where is your face"

A REVELATION

A BENEDICTION

A SUPERSTITION

all false and yet the only truths

a parable for all to witness

take a good hard look

kiddies

hence I deal you some fucking mindworks

The Good Doctor Made Everything

He Made Me And He Filled My Mind With Thinking Parts

But Perhaps The Thinking Was Wrong

perhaps he misplaced the bit that makes me

sometimes i hurt people

then i remember that it's just a dream

so i wake up and take a good hard look in the mirror

and then once i calm down a little

i hurt people

"Children, I don't even know what your names are."

the pair tells me their names and they forget

"Let me bleed you."

i bleed the children and they giggle and laugh and all is well

what fun

Sometimes, doctor, I get these brief moments of lucidity.

It's so strange. Sometimes they just hit me like a wall.

It's as though everything until now just didn't matter.

Sometimes, doctor, I get these brief moments of lucidity.

It's so strange. Sometimes they just hit me like a wall.

It's as though everything until now just didn't matter.

Sometimes, doctor, I get these brief moments of… I don't know how to say.

perhaps I could call it 'apprehension'.

Yes, APPREHENSION works quite well for what I want to say.

sometimes I am hit by APPREHENSION and the world seems like nothing.

I lean back and my eyes see the world not as it is but as it could be

then my heart pumps hard enough that I can feel my wrists

you know

that bit

where you

are currently bleeding out of, yes doctor, those little bits that the sad people cut to make the sadness go away yes sir yes sir YOU ARE WELCOME.

and my wrists throb and it is good.

then the feeling comes to me when I start to breathe.

I don't normally do that so it is a BIT FUCKING OFF and ODD to say the least haha?

anyway

I breathe out with my mouth and in with my nose.

THE SENSE

THE SCENTS

THE SENSE OF SENSING SCENT

I pity you no longer have a nose to understand my meaning here, doctor.

PLEASE USE YOUR

imagination.

I think you could do that pretty well, Mister Doctor God sir.

oh and also

just before you decide to go off and do some other thing

or think this is meaningless ranting

from an incoherent author

my name is mister redd

that's my name

probably

i mean he GAVE me that name

MISTER REDD

he would say and i would say

DADDY NO MORE HITTING PLEASE

but i digress

no wait that was you two fucks wasn't it

"MISTER REDD NO MORE HITTING PLEASE"

"DON'T MAKE US DRINK IT"

"WHEN CAN WE SEE OUR PARENTS"

i dunno, go dig them up if you want

anyway

the name he GAVE me was mister redd

but i'm not a fucking mister anything

i choose my name and i am

EPICURUS

or maybe not since there was already a guy named that

so perhaps you can call me

bob

or steve

or randall

or 'frank'

let me be frank with you

but then it overwrites

IT OVERWRITES AND ALL IS REDD

hello my name is mister redd would you like fries with fuck you bitch

i met my maker once in a dream

he called himself father and we hugged and cried

he said sorry for not being there

and then as i cried sorry to him

within my arms

he died

and i cried over the dead body

and then i died

and his corpse cried over me

Mister Doctor Wondertainment

Dear Mister Doctor Fuckfuckfuckfuck

please unmake me

The Mister Redd Product Was One Of Many

(i am the mister redd product)

((as previously stated))

(((you fucking twat)))

My Brothers and i guess i had a sister but she was a huge bitch let me put it that way

My Siblings And I Were Made By God

And Put On This Planet To

((((and i'm quoting from the fucking handbook here))))

'help'

help?

help.

HELP HELP HELP SEND HELP

one of them taught kids the phases of the moon

one of them taught kids how the body changes as you grow up

one of them taught kids that maybe being on fire is not a super great life decision

one of them was purple?

i dunno he was a weird one

<i think he was adopted>

and then there was me

all bottled up with HATRED AND MOTHERFUCKING ANGER

and God made me to 'help'

what the fuck man

seriously dude though for real what the fuuuuuuck.

so he put me down and he said

OH DEAR AND BELOVED SON

{that's me, shitheads}

OH DEAR AND BELOVED SON

I MADE YOU TOTES FUCKIN' ANGRY AND SHIT

and i was like grrr yeah i'm a bit angry and stuff hehe

OKAY COOL GLAD WE GOT YOU ON THE DOWN LOW

and i was like yeah what were you saying

OH SORRY LET ME KEEP GOING

nah man its cool

WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

what?

ARE YOU KILLING THAT KID?

yeah

DUDE WHAT THE FUCK

you made me like this you fucking fuck

DAMN SON YOU'RE A BIT FUCKED UP

well duhhhhhhhhhhhh

BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE I GUESS I PULLED THAT SHIT ON PURPOSE

and everyone just SPAZZED THE FUCK OUT

"On Purpose"

straight from the mouth of god

NO SERIOUSLY I DID IT ON PURPOSE

i fucking doubt it

NO IT'S LIKE YOU'VE GOTTA TEACH KIDS A LESSON OR WHATEVER

a lesson

YEAH

you're seeing me now right

DUDE STOP THE LOWER INTESTINES ARE NOT CLEAN DON'T MAKE A TIE OUT OF THEM JESUS CHRIST

alright whatever man

OKAY BUT YOU'VE GOTTA TEACH KIDS HOW TO CONTROL THEIR

and this is the best fucking bit

ANGER ISSUES

well shit

I KNOW RIGHT

also in case this wasn't clear, this bit was a bit metaphorical or whatever

or maybe not i dunno

i wasn't there

SO YEAH HELP KIDS WITH ANGER ISSUES

dude how do i do that

WELL YOU OVERCOME YOUR OWN ANGER ISSUES

but i don't have anger issues

WHAT DO YOU MEAN

well i'm pretty happy actually

WHAT

yeah i mean i just got a brand new tie

OKAY SERIOUSLY TAKE THAT OFF

fiiiiiiiiine

SO YOU NEED TO STOP BEING SO ANGRY

but i really don't have any anger

OH NOW I'M GONNA CALL BULLSHIT THERE

really i don't

WHY ARE YOU DOING ANY OF THIS

because

i guess

i can?

This was the part where I had a big ol' wonderfuckingriffic tattoo stamped on my back

[FAULTY]

and then i tore my back off

[FAULTY]

and then i tore my back off

[FAULTY]

and then i tore my back off

[FAULTY]

and then i tore my back off

[FAULTY]

and then i backed off

and ran

but now

I'M BACK

AND I'M THE ONE TALKING IN ALL CAPS NOW MOTHERFUCKER

Oh, wait. Here's that lucidity again. That's nice.

What was I talking about before?

Oh, yes. The moments of apprehension.

Sometimes, I start to breathe in with my nose and out with my mouth.

I begin to have 'olfactory hallucinations'.

What it is that I am actually smelling?

I couldn't say, I always forget.

The nose sensations sort of knock me out a bit, you know?

It's as though everything until now just didn't matter.

You know how when a deer just gets stunned by headlights?

What's that saying?

A deer in the headlights?

wow that's fucking stupid

anyway lucidiocy or whatever

I Am Caught Like A Dear In The Spotlights

And All Is Just Like An Internal

'Point Of Revelation'

is this how jesus felt

when he was burning in hell?

Anyway, sometimes I just get those revelations.

They'd only last… hmmmm. Actually, I don't know.

In actual, real-world time, I'd say they last like a minute or two?

around this point you go

like "ugh when is this ending"

shut the fuck up i'm telling a story

no kids i don't know where the shovels are

where was i

something about

jesus?

DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT

wait are we still doing this

YEAH MAN I JUST STEPPED OUT TO GET A BITE TO EAT AND I COME BACK TO THIS BULLSHIT

yeah i dunno let's see where he's going with it

In subjective time, I'd say they last from hours to days to years.

It's like, within that very instant, I live an entire lifetime.

And all the happiness and sadness and all that comes with it just bursts into my retroactive memory.

And then by the very next moment it vanishes.

Have I left you speechless?

hahahahaha

HAHAHAHAHA

wow dude you got some fuckin' problems

YEAH I KNOW SERIOUSLY

Whatever, you guys are assholes. I'm going back to stewing Ruiz and Pico's blood.

who the fuck is pico

WHO THE FUCK IS RUIZ

Damn, you guys aren't even paying any attention to sensory input.

Well, I gave my part. Have fun for the rest of it.

wow what a fucking asshole

I KNOW RIGHT

This Is The Part Where We Point Out

The Internal Dialogue

It Never Ends

Even When We Sleep

It Continues

Please Unknit Us

From

This

Hell

wait you

you fuckwads actually dug up your dead parents

holy shit that's fucking gold

yeah i did that

stop crying you pussy

be like your cool little bro

he's fuckin' loving it

hi-five little man

Where the fuck do you think you're going?

Where The Fuck Do You Think You're Going?

where the fuck do you think you're going?

WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

well fuck they're gone

SHOULD WE GO AFTER THEM?

nah i can't be fucked

WELL I GUESS IT SHOULD BE QUIETER NOW AT LEAST

yeah

SON YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP CHILDREN

dad i couldn't i can't stop myself

PLEASE, SON, I DO LOVE YOU. PLEASE TRY HARDER.

i couldn't stop myself i wanted to know what they were like inside

but not in the bullshit kiddie way what you're like inside

like i literally wanted to see what they were made of

What They Were Made Of

What they were made of.

i wanted to see what they were made of

perhaps if i keep taking them apart

one day i will know what i am made of

and then i can take apart myself

since i know you aren't going to do it for me you fuckwad