Reena Patel is used to fending off other people’s concerns about her son, Nishi. “Because he is small, people say, ‘He just needs to eat some meat,’” she says. “Or, ‘You need to give him some eggs.’ It used to upset me, but I’ve become quite blase about it now. I know he’s happy and healthy.”

Nishi is six, and was diagnosed with a dairy allergy as a baby. Reena was already vegetarian, and had felt uneasy about eating animal products for some time. Because her baby son was now more or less vegan by default, she joined him – and today the pair are strictly plant-based. Her older son, Aarush, is eight, and, like his dad, vegetarian but considering veganism. (Both boys are currently obsessed with creating an online vegan sweetshop.)

For many parents, the idea of raising children on nothing but plants is hard to fathom. Anyone who has ever struggled to make a child eat something as inoffensive as peas will probably balk at barring fish fingers (protein) and yoghurt (calcium). But the number of vegan children is on the rise in the UK. No one knows exactly how many there are; the Vegan Society’s most recent figures state that there are about 600,000 vegans in the country, twice the number there were two years ago – but this figure accounts only for people aged over 15. It’s a social shift driven by health, environmental and animal welfare concerns, as well as high-profile campaigns such as Veganuary, which saw nearly 168,500 people around the world give up meat, fish, eggs, dairy and honey for four weeks last January. Since nearly half of all British vegans are aged 15-34, the Vegan Society assumes the number of vegan children must also be increasing sharply. How do their families do it?

Tamar Nussbacher-Lawrence’s rather choosy three-year-old son hasn’t put her, or her husband Rob, off their newly adopted veganism. “He only wants to eat toast, rice, pasta, chips and fruit,” she says. “I do worry about it, but I try not to be a crazy food pusher – I always make sure I offer him what we have. Maybe he will eat when he’s 18,” she smiles. The couple, who run Inkwa Tattoo studio in London (Tamar is also a reflexologist), have been vegan for 18 months, partly inspired by Rob’s Rastafarianism (it’s up to the individual, but many Rastafarians adopt an “ital” diet and don’t eat animal products). After giving up red meat for a trial period, they quickly cut out chicken, fish and dairy, and then all animal products. “We just felt better, physically and mentally. And the better we felt, the easier it was to do,” says Rob.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Tamar Nussbacher-Lawrence and her husband Rob have been vegan for 18 months; they are bringing up their baby and three-year-old vegan, though the older boys eat meat outside the home. Photograph: Mark Chilvers/The Guardian

Another powerful motivator was that, soon after, Tamar became pregnant. “We had a hard journey towards having kids,” she says. “I’m not saying, ‘Go vegan and you’ll get pregnant.’ But I specialise in fertility and maternity reflexology, and I tell my clients that, even if you improve the quality of the meat you buy and eat less of it, it will make a difference to your system.”

Tamar has two stepchildren who eat meat outside the home, but not when staying over, and an eight-month-old daughter who they are weaning as a vegan. “It started when I bought some meat for my son and the next morning it was still in date but completely brown. It made me think, what am I putting down his throat?”

The change startled the couple’s friends and family. “We really liked meat, and we ate and cooked a lot of it – a lot of barbecues,” says Tamar. “A few people said, ‘You’ll be back in a week’, because every meal I had, it had to have meat,” adds Rob. “My dad used to run a pop-up Jamaican restaurant in the 1990s: jerk chicken, stew pork, curry goat – every kind of animal you can think of, from cow’s foot to pig’s trotter to oxtail. So when I snapped out of that, it shocked a lot of people.”

His older boys are 13 and nine, and for them there was a period of adjustment. “My kids said, ‘Can I still eat meat?’ And they can,” says Rob. “But they know there are no meat products in our house. None to come in, none to go in our microwave, or our oven or our fridge. When they step out, they can make their own choices. I don’t want them to feel shackled by my decision. I can only try and guide them through what I think is right.”

With my three-year-old, we weren’t vegan, and I did all the pureeing and freezing. I’m finding this easier

“We try to make things for them that aren’t too adventurous, like spaghetti bolognese, fajitas,” says Tamar. “And curries, rice, stew peas, all the things they’re used to, but with the meat taken out,” adds Rob. “With a lot of Caribbean food, you can just extract the meat and use other ingredients. ”

They have explained their choice to their boys, including the three-year-old. “I tell him we don’t eat animals, and that animals are our friends. I don’t think he’s old enough to understand on any other level. Or care, to be honest,” says Tamar.

As for their eight-month-old daughter, the couple are following a baby-led weaning approach, meaning they simply give her a bit of the vegan food they are eating. “She’s still breastfed, and until she’s one, she’ll get most of her nutrition from that,” says Tamar. “I make sure she has things like almond butter, tahini and avocado. I’m doing research and getting ideas about what to feed her. With my three-year-old, we weren’t vegan, and I did all the pureeing and freezing. I’m finding this easier. I just give her a bit of toast with peanut butter and she’s happy.”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Posed by model. ‘I tell my son we don’t eat animals: they are our friends.’ Photograph: Ilka & Franz/The Guardian

Erin Marrs lives in Kirkcaldy with her husband Paul, a professional hockey player, and their two sons, Oliver, who is five, and Charles, who is 18 months old. All four are vegan; the children have been “vegan since conception”, says Erin. She converted her husband, having initially given up dairy to treat her adult acne. “He was not at all eager,” she says, “but what I tell everyone to do is pick a favourite meal and then veganise that. I learned to cook because there needed to be no reason he could say, ‘I’m missing out on something.’”

The more Marrs learned about animal welfare, the more it underlined her choice. “I considered myself an animal lover, but I began to learn about factory farms, about how our consumption of animals has gone crazy. Once you see it, you can’t unlearn it. Watching the documentary Forks Over Knives was very powerful, and then Earthlings, which is horrible.” Would she consider herself an activist? “I’m more of a pacifist vegan. People ask if it’s for health or for animals, and I say both.”

Although both sets of grandparents are very supportive, Marrs has had some difficult conversations with friends. “I’ve definitely had some judgment. I have one girlfriend who thinks it’s too extreme. She thinks I’m not indulging enough, when I have only one life to live – like it’s a massive diet that I’m on. She will ask, ‘When is this vegan thing going to be over?’ but I just laugh it off. That kind of judgment often comes from the people who are most interested or conflicted themselves.”

Marrs’ Instagram feed is full of tempting bowls of multicoloured raw vegetables and falafel, or soups bursting with carrots and greens – all of it being grabbed by tiny, pudgy toddler hands. She wrangles a series of what sound like minor miracles every day. “In the morning, they usually go for fruit, first. We make a smoothie bowl or have overnight oats. We often do leftovers for lunch, or a wrap with hummus and veggies, or a chickpea salad sandwich. And then some sort of big dinner, like a big buddha bowl with a brown rice base, tons of veggies and a sauce.”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Erin Marrs and her husband Paul with Charles, 18 months, and Oliver, five. All four are vegan. Photograph: Erin Marrs

It hasn’t always been straightforward. “My eldest went through a phase where he was very picky, around two or three. If you’re feeding them a vegan diet and they’re not eating any vegetables, you panic. He would only eat fruit – an entire pineapple, or bananas all day.” Marrs worried less than she might have done, as, in common with many vegan mothers, she extended breastfeeding until Oliver was three – partly to avoid having to find a suitable alternative drink. He stopped when Marrs became pregnant again.

So far, Oliver has never veered off the vegan path. “If someone gives him peanut butter on toast, he’ll ask if the bread is vegan. He’s very vocal about it and very firm in his stance. I don’t think I’ve pushed it on to him, other than explaining to him why we eat this way.

“Once he was old enough to know that people ate different things, he started to ask what they were eating and we told him: that’s a cow or a chicken. If we pass the meat counter in the supermarket, he’ll say, ‘That’s a dead chicken.’ He’s been around my family for turkey dinners. He knows it was once a living animal, and he has no interest in eating one.” At another child’s birthday party, he didn’t seem to mind not eating the cake. “I just said, it’s not vegan, and he said, OK. There was a trampoline, so he couldn’t have cared less about sitting down to eat.”

It’s important to Marrs that her children do get treats. “People have suggested that when he turns 16 he’s just going to go to McDonald’s and gorge. But he won’t if he doesn’t feel like he’s missing out. If he wants a vegan doughnut, we go get one.” Like Patel, Marrs receives occasional comments about her eldest’s size. “My youngest is massive, but my older son is an average height, and some people ask if he’s a little bit small. I don’t know if they think that, because he’s vegan, he’s not going to grow big and strong.”

Jenny Liddle and her husband Ian promote Vegan Events UK festivals; they have been vegan for 20 years. Her daughter Emily is 14 and has been vegan since birth (like Marrs, Liddle breastfed until Emily was two). The family is delighted with the recent proliferation of vegan venues and products: this year, most supermarkets have launched or extended their vegan ranges, while sales of meat-free foods have increased by 22% between 2013-18, according to Mintel. Greggs are planning a vegan sausage roll, and even local chippies are offering vegan options. (The Liddles use the Happy Cow app to find vegan-friendly food when travelling.)

“We explained from an early age why we were vegan,” she says. “When Emily was about 10, old enough not to be upset by it, we took her to see Vegucated at a community screening.” The 2011 documentary follows three New Yorkers who go vegan while learning about intensive animal farming. “The film explains why people might be vegan in a nice, positive way, but does go into some details,” Liddle says. “While they don’t show a lot, they do show some aspects of the meat industry, like the separation of parts of animals. I remember it was so sterile – turning animals into products, picking off the legs and dealing with the corpses. It was strange and macabre.”

Although on occasion, Emily has rebelled – “we find the occasional wrapper of something containing dairy, but it’s no big deal” – she has avoided non-vegan food since she was very small. “At nursery, if she was offered a sweet that wasn’t vegan, she just wouldn’t have it.”

The family’s choice is motivated by a number of factors. “For me, it’s about doing the right thing. Being vegan is an important part of intersectionalism. As well as animals, health and the environment, I care about humans. If we stop being violent towards animals, maybe we will understand how to make ourselves less violent towards people.” She says she was also affected by the experience of dairy cows. “The calf is separated from the mother almost immediately. That mother doesn’t have any rights.”

Today, Emily attends secondary school in the Scottish Borders, where Liddle has met with the catering staff. “We explained how, if you change just one ingredient, instead of being vegetarian it will be vegan – but everyone can still have it. Things like not putting milk in soup, or doing lentil curry instead of chicken. There are lots of other options for non-vegan kids on any given day. It just needs a tiny tweak.”

For Reena Patel, her children’s school in London has been the least complicated factor in her son’s veganism. “A couple of his friends are also vegan, so he’s not the odd one out.” At home, the family all eat the same food, with small adaptations to make a meal half-vegan and half-vegetarian. “So if we’re making pizza, half will be made with non-dairy cheese.”

Until he was three, Nishi was untroubled about not being able to eat at other people’s houses. “But as he’s gone to more playdates and birthday parties, he’s felt quite left out. I have to send a list of things that he can’t eat and I offer to bring food for him, but mostly people are really accommodating. I’m always so grateful – it’s not something that I expect at all.”

Because of Nishi’s allergies, the family were offered support from consultants and dietitians. “I was expecting a fight, going in saying: ‘He has all these allergies and we’re vegetarian, so he’s now vegan.’ On the whole, they’ve been brilliant. Just once, a dietitian likened it to child abuse: she said ‘He has so many allergies and he’s quite small, so it’s a form of neglect.’ I had to get up and walk out. I later found out she’d been asked to leave because she was so aggressive and judgmental.”

Recently, Patel discovered she was more concerned about her youngest son’s size than the professionals. “I worried he was too small, but his allergy specialist sat me down and said, ‘Stop worrying, you’re petite and the chances are he’s just naturally small. He eats well – he’s absolutely fine.’ It was hugely reassuring.”

It’s absurd we feel the need to question parents who are vegan when I see so many kids eating chips and sweets

Both Patel’s sons take a multivitamin every day and, in winter, a vitamin D3 supplement. “Their milk is fortified with B12 and other vital nutrients. They have a lot of nutritional yeast in food [to give them more B12]. And because Nishi has allergies, he has his vitamin levels checked every six months – he’s always been fine.

“As a parent, veganism has to be a well-informed choice. But it’s absurd we feel the need to question parents who are vegan when I see so many kids on the way home from school eating chips, sweets and fizzy drinks. People are more antsy about veganism than junk food.”

Anyone raising a vegan child in the UK who wants support should get it from their GP, and if necessary, a dietitian, says Rosie Saunt, a registered NHS dietitian and co-founder of the Rooted Project, which tries to counter nutritional myths in the media. “A GP will check that a parent or guardian is covering the bases. But then if they are still struggling they would be referred to a dietitian, particularly if there are any red flags, like their child isn’t thriving or growing as they should be.” She has no qualms about young children being vegan as long as parents focus on “lots of variety and give it some careful thought”. In 2017, the British Dietetic Association, Britain’s professional body for dietitians, reaffirmed its 2014 agreement with the Vegan Society, stating that a well-planned vegan diet can be healthy for people of any age.

“General studies of vegan diets show they are definitely healthy,” says Saunt. “There are multiple health benefits, such as lowered risk of cardiovascular disease and diabetes. It’s difficult to find studies to back up whether they are good for general health in children, infants and adolescents. This is for a few reasons: studies on children haven’t necessarily been done, as ethically it can be difficult, and the existing data on adults can be skewed by confounding factors. Adults who follow a vegan diet tend to be of higher socioeconomic status, they tend to exercise more, and not to smoke. So it’s hard to unpick if it’s the vegan diet alone leading to these benefits in adults.”

Because the vegan diet is relatively restricted, in comparison with most UK diets (the average Briton is thought to eat nearly 80 kilos of meat a year and drink 82 litres of milk), vegan adults and children need to make sure they are getting enough of certain critical nutrients. “Calcium, iron, protein, vitamin D, B12, iodine and omega 3 fatty acids” are the important ones, says Saunt. “We are lucky in the UK, as there are loads of options in the supermarkets, so it is possible for children and infants to get all the nutrition they need from a plant-based diet.”

Some professionals are cautious, warning 'it is difficult to ensure a healthy and balanced vegan diet in young infants'

She emphasises that it’s important for children to eat a wide range of vegan foods, including nuts, seeds, beans, pulses and soya products such as tofu. “Different foods contain nutrients which all work together in a complex synergy. Since energy and nutrient requirements are higher during growth, infants and adolescents are particularly vulnerable to deficiencies. They need enough energy to grow and be active, to ensure they remain healthy, fight infection, and learn.”

Some health professionals have sounded a much more cautious note. Last year Mary Fewtrell, professor of paediatric nutrition at University College London, released a strongly worded statement voicing concern that parents of vegan infants were not following advice when it came to supplements, especially of vitamin B12. As chair of the European Society for Paediatric Gastroenterology, Hepatology and Nutrition committee, Fewtrell wrote, “It is difficult to ensure a healthy and balanced vegan diet in young infants, and parents should understand the serious consequences of failing to follow advice regarding supplementation of the diet. The risks of getting it wrong can include irreversible cognitive damage and, in the extreme, death. Our advice is that if parents pursue a vegan diet for their child, they must seek and strictly follow medical and dietary advice.” (The Vegan Society responded at the time, stating, “Nutrient deficiencies are not an exclusively vegan problem and it is unfair to paint them as such.”)

For anyone (like me) who is by now feeling their child’s food intake is unambitious (vegan or otherwise), take heart from the Guardian food columnist Anna Jones, who is vegetarian. “I was convinced my son, Dylan, who is now three, would be drinking spirulina smoothies and eating shakshuka,” she says. “But he’s a picky eater, and his diet is mainly beige. He likes all the carbs.” Still, apart from an occasional yoghurt, his diet is 90% plant-based. “It’s not a totally conscious choice, it’s just what works for us as a family,” Jones says. “Things like tofu just don’t go down very well,” she admits, but she will offer him chopped vegetables, chopped nuts and protein-rich pulse-based dips before a carby meal.

Jones has two vegan siblings. “Sixteen years ago my brother, who is now in his late 20s, went vegan – if he went out, all he could eat was bean burgers from Nando’s, on repeat. My mum and dad found it very difficult, as it was so rare. But us kids have had an upwards effect on my parents. Over the years we’ve informed them and given them books, and let them know that we are going to be OK. My mum is now almost completely vegan and my dad eats steak about once a year.”

Jones says she is aware, anecdotally, of a rising number of vegan families. “It is on the up, but a lot of adults make the choice to be vegan (or vegetarian) for themselves, then worry about doing it 100% for their children. It’s partly an ease thing – and as a parent I understand that – and also that as the parent of a young child we go back to the memories of foods we had as a child.” As a parent, you are learning how to feed a child while that child is learning what they like – it’s no wonder so many of us rehash the things which worked for our parents: sausages, shepherd’s pie, scrambled eggs.

Raising a vegan child is perhaps trickiest in families where no one else is even vegetarian. Jen Stanbrook, an interiors blogger based in Nottingham, has two daughters. The elder, 14, is a strict vegan on moral and ethical grounds; she doesn’t wear wool or leather and uses only cruelty-free skincare brands. “I don’t ever cook a family meal now,” Stanbrook says. “When Ella was vegetarian it was easier to add the meat or extra ingredients, but the vegan diet makes this pretty impossible. We sit down together but mostly I cook at least two, if not three, different meals. My younger daughter won’t eat anything labelled vegan, although Ella batch cooks about three quarters of her own meals now.”

Some friends, colleagues and family members fail to understand why Stanbrook is so accommodating. “The initial reaction is the usual: surely that can’t be healthy, how does she get enough protein? Other people, parents usually, just say we should force her to eat meat, that she’s too young to make that kind of decision and they would never allow it in their house. But she’s passionate about her way of life. And I’m sure she has a much better, more balanced diet than a lot of her peers.”

She admits she found Ella’s veganism hard at first. “It took a lot of effort from us all to make it work. I do feel sad that our family meals out are more restricted, but I am proud of Ella. She is very knowledgeable about food and nutrition. She follows her principles and wants to make a difference. It’s inspiring.”

Eat your greens: family-friendly vegan meals by Rebecca Seal

Mac and ’shews “Cheese” made with vegetables and raw cashew nuts, pureed, then baked. (Isa Chandra Moskowitz’s recipe is the best.)

Avocado and pea pesto Blitz fresh basil, defrosted peas, pine nuts, ground almonds, nutritional yeast, garlic, olive oil and avocado.

Chile sin carne With lentils, vegan mince or minced seitan. Serve with rice and “sour cream” (add lemon juice to plain non-dairy yoghurt).

Tofu ‘fish’ fingers with peas Coat tofu, dipped in plant-based milk, with breadcrumbs, then shallow fry.

Spaghetti ‘bolognese’ Made with vegan mince or puy lentils, or both.

Chickpea and sweet potato stew Onion, garlic, red pepper, sweet smoked paprika, stock and sweet potatoes. Just before serving, add a drained can of chickpeas (in unsalted water).

Pizza with non-dairy cheese (or no cheese, but roasted peppers and aubergine from a jar).

Not just nuts: how to get a balanced vegan diet, by Rosie Saunt, NHS dietician

Iron The type of iron that you get from plants (wholegrains and pulses) isn’t as well-absorbed by the body as iron from animal products, but absorption can be enhanced if you eat these foods with vitamin C (eg diluted orange juice).

Calcium As well as fortified foods such as milk alternatives, calcium is in tofu, pulses, tahini, figs, ground almonds, seeds and leafy vegetables.

Iodine In the British diet, iodine – which is important for brain development in children – mostly comes from dairy and fish. Plant-based sources include wholewheat and rye, but aren’t likely to provide enough. It is found in seaweed, but the amount of iodine varies hugely in sea vegetables. It is recommended that vegans consider an iodine supplement.

Vitamin B12 Children may show signs of B12 deficiency more rapidly than adults. Symptoms include low energy or appetite, or failure to thrive; long-term it can lead to more permanent damage. The Vegan Society recommends that children aged one to five have a supplement or get it from fortified foods, because it is found almost exclusively in animal products. Other good sources are nutritional yeast, some dairy-free spreads and yeast extract.

Omega 3 fats These are important for heart health and brain development. They are found in plants as well as animal sources, but the plant source provides a type of fatty acid which the body has to convert very slowly into the one we need. You can find it in rapeseed oil, flax seeds, hemp, chia and walnuts. There is a supplement containing the form we need, made from micro-algae; but as yet, there’s not enough research about whether these supplements work.

Vitamin D It is recommended that everyone in the UK takes a vitamin D supplement in winter months, whether vegan or not, because of the lack of sun. But Vitamin D3 is often made from sheep’s wool, and so isn’t vegan. You can get a version made from lichen, or choose vitamin D2.

Alternative milks Be careful which you choose. Organic plant milks aren’t fortified, so will be missing calcium, B12 and vitamin D. Nut milks such as almond milk are significantly lower in energy and protein – some are only 3-6% nuts and the rest water. Soya milk is often recommended for vegan children because it has sufficient protein and calories. Children under six months shouldn’t have soy. From six to 12 months they can have soya formula; and from 12 months unsweetened, fortified soya milk.

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