boosterrooster Sat 22-Jun-19 14:07:45

I get where you're coming from. The silly trivial lies are really frustrating. And while vaping is not the worst thing in the world, it's horrible being lied to in any way shape or form. You mention his fuck ups in the past, did they cause you to lose trust? And now the smaller lies about things like vaping piss you off? more than most people one here can understand? I understand love, and it's shit!



I've been going through similar on and off for years with my DH except my husband sneaks around smoking weed, not vaping, and like you, he lies through his teeth about it until I catch him red handed.

Ive been going to bed early most nights for the past 3-4 months as I'm pregnant and exhausted and he's been staying out after work smoking weed with a young guy that reports into him at work. I just happened to be up late with our son last night and was there when he walked in, stoned out of his mind. It disgusts me, I worry about his job and how bad that would look with indulging in drugs with a younger employee. I think it's immature and detest the smell of it but what really bugs me is him driving home stoned on a route where the police regularly pull people over for random drink and drug testing.



I'm talking about a highly educated, 37 year old father of 1 child, with our second baby due in September.



I've tried to avoid being controlling, he has lots of freedom and I actually said to him a while back - look if you have to do it and cannot quit weed for good then please just just get a taxi home instead of driving and don't make a daily thing of it or bring it into our home - but no, he prefers to sneak around and lie, even when I feel that I am being fair/understanding/trying not to control him.



So I'm in your shoes. He also had fuck ups in the past; lying, cheating, and forever trying to convince me that I was the one with a problem. Like a fool I stuck around, I take responsibility for that, I was stupid. But I'm at the end of my tether and want to separate. As I am sick of being lied to and disrespected no matter how small or trivial the lie. I can't split from him just yet as my father is terminally ill and I don't want to cause my family any more upset at moment and I am pregnant with our 2nd child so currently trying to figure out how we can/will remain together for another while longer.



So long story short, I disagree with what most of the posters have said. Even a small trivial lie can be damaging, especially when repeated over and over.



Good luck with everything