There’s no day more special to a little girl than her birthday. It’s the day she gets to be a real-life princess, with all her friends and family gathering to celebrate and spoil her. This is true even for children of divorced or separated parents, who sometimes benefit from having two families to celebrate their special day with. This was the case with Kelsey Frederick, whose 13th birthday started out as special as ever, but ended up becoming a dramatic conflict between parents.

A Birthday to Remember



Since her parents are divorced, Kelsey Frederick knew her 13th birthday would have two parts: one with her mom, and one with her dad. It was something she’d grown pretty used to and enjoyed, especially thanks to her close relationship with her mother.

Does Dad Know Best?



Schaffen Frederick is Kelsey’s father, who also works as a volunteer firefighter for the Middleton Township Fire Department, not far from where Kelsey and her mother live in Fostoria, Ohio. It’s here he met his new wife, Sarah Murray, who is now Kelsey’s step-mother.

Kelsey’s Birthday Wish



When it came time to pick out what she wanted for her birthday, Kelsey had her eye on a whole new look. She wanted to highlight her brown hair to have a more golden hue, and so her mother took her down to the salon.

Getting That Sun-Kissed Look

Kelsey would’ve spent a good chunk of time getting her hair lightened professionally, not to mention the process isn’t exactly cheap. But it was her birthday, after all, and milestone as well: Kelsey was officially becoming a teenager.

A Big Investment

Hair highlights can take hours, and also cost a fair amount of money. According to some websites, the cost of hair coloring or highlights can run between $60 to $130 or more, depending on location and style.

Dad’s Reaction

It’s not uncommon for parents to have strong feelings about their children growing up, and some fathers can be especially protective when it comes to their daughters. But it’s tricky with teenagers: they want some independence, but how much is too much? For Kelsey’s dad the answer was clear.

He’s Normally Very Reasonable

According to his supervisor at the fire department, both Kelsey’s dad and her step-mother have been good at their jobs. According to Middleton Township Fire Chief Steve Asmus, they had worked there for two years and he had never received a complaint about them.

Sharing Custody of a Teenager

The shared custody arrangement Kelsey’s parents had was probably tense enough, but experts agree that sharing custody of a teenager can have its own challenges. What do you do if a teen wants to do something, but one parent doesn’t approve?

The Haircut

After Kelsey got her new color, she went to visit her father for the weekend. He and his wife were very upset with Kelsey’s decision to highlight her hair, so they decided to make some choices for her. Specifically, they decided to cut all her hair off as a punishment.

Feeling The Shame

Kelsey’s mom couldn’t believe what she saw when her daughter came back from her father’s house. All of Kelsey’s hair was gone, and Kelsey herself was devastated by the forced new look. Imagine having your mother approve a new hairstyle, but your father retaliates by taking your hair away from you.

Turning to Social Media

At a loss for what to do, Kelsey’s mom Christin decided to turn to their network of friends and family to try and redirect some of the shame back onto Kelsey’s dad and step-mom. She thought they were actually the ones in the wrong, and didn’t understand why Kelsey’s hair was worth ruining her birthday over.

Going Viral



Though she couldn’t have predicted the traction the post would get, Christin’s Facebook post illustrating what had happened to her daughter quickly went viral. It was shared over 25,000 times on the platform and even picked up by news outlets.

The Backlash

Social media users couldn’t believe what Kelsey’s father and step-mother had done, and quickly began accusing her parents of everything from assault to emotional abuse. Basically no one understood why a father thought this was serious enough to ruin his daughter’s birthday over.

Serious Consequences



Outrage grew quickly and eventually both Kelsey’s father and her step-mother were placed on leave from their roles at the fire department. They also found themselves under investigation from the authorities.

The Police Get Involved

Local police chief Colby Carroll reported that Kelsey’s mom had filed a formal complaint alleging that the haircut was forced on Kelsey as a punishment. In addition, Wood County Children’s Services also got involved in investigating the couple’s discipline methods.

A Public Shaming

The authorities might be the least of the couple’s worries. Kelsey’s father and step-mother have also been the target of a very, very angry online mob. While their intentions may be to protect a child, some people thought it only fair that the step-mom’s Facebook photos get some extra comments.

Is This Abuse?

Many social media users contended that what Kelsey’s father had done to her constituted abuse. Specifically, emotional abuse, which is sometimes considered more difficult to prove. Of course, in this case the state of Kelsey’s hair, and the fact that she was so upset over having it cut off, was proof enough to some people.

No Regrets

Even a month after the incident, Kelsey’s step-mom Sarah posted a picture to Facebook letting everyone know she didn’t care what the online mob had to say about her. She even suggested finding all the attention she was suddenly getting pretty amusing.

Leaving Dad’s Home

Kelsey was “removed from her father’s home” according to her aunt. And now she lives with her mother, and is reportedly surrounded by her grandmother, aunt, siblings, cousins, and friends. But unfortunately she wasn’t able to collect her things from her dad’s place.

Asking for Help

Kelsey’s aunt opened a number of pages on GoFundMe, two of which were suspiciously marked as scams and taken down. GoFundMe then re-opened the third page after an investigation, and her aunt was able to collect money for Kelsey.

Rebuilding Her Life

Because Kelsey had to leave her dad’s house so quickly, and didn’t want to go back amidst all the drama, she had to replace a lot of things she was forced to leave behind. The page was a success, making almost three times the goal of what was asked for.

Questionable Responses

Not everyone was supportive of the GoFundMe. Aside from having it reported as a scam numerous times, other users also questioned whether Kelsey’s plight was worthy of a fundraiser. Though to be fair, the amount raised was not what many would consider astronomical.

A Support Network

Luckily for Kelsey, her mom wasn’t alone in her horror at what her father had done. Family friends stepped in to help and repair the damage done as best they could. Including Kelsey’s godmother Haylee, who took her shopping for a wig.

A Whole New Look



Kelsey found the ultimate support from Lady Jane, a salon in nearby Toledo, Ohio. They helped Kelsey create a whole new style using a wig, so she could feel like herself until her hair grew back to where she felt comfortable again.

Going Out on a Limb

It was Kelsey’s God mother Haylee who approached the salon and asked them to help her God daughter out. And when they agreed, Kelsey reportedly arrived with a hood over her head. She was clearly embarrassed and feeling self-conscious.

Showing Gratitude

Kelsey’s mom posted about the salon visit, showing an endless amount of thanks to the salon workers who showed so much kindness to a kid who was going through a hard time. She also expressed thanks to Kelsey’s God mother for stepping in when her God daughter needed her most.

Back to Her Old Self

Though her highlights were gone, Kelsey seemed happy to be back to at least looking like a version of her old self. And now that she was living with her mom, she didn’t have to worry about having her new hair suddenly taken away from her.

No Response From the Other Side

Both Kelsey’s dad and her step mom declined to comment to news outlets in the wake of the incident. Despite the story going viral, leading to attention from multiple news outlets, both of them have remained quiet.

Getting Back In Good Standing

No charges were filed against Kelsey’s step-mom or her dad, and her step-mom even went on to complete her probationary period and move up the ranks at the fire department. It seems like the incident is being put in the past.

Resolution

It at least looks like Kelsey and her dad were able to make up in time for her to attend his big day, when he decided to marry her step-mother. It looks like she’s back to having two fully functioning families, and a full head of hair.