CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—A report published Thursday by researchers at the University of Virginia has revealed that putting your head in your hands and quietly moaning is still the best known way of getting through the next several seconds. “Our data shows that the most effective method for making it through the upcoming eight to 10 seconds is to bury your face in your hands and produce a faint groan for the duration of this period,” said the report’s lead researcher, William Durante, who explained that incorporating a combination of slowly rocking back and forth in your chair and shaking your head from side to side greatly improved the likelihood of riding out these next few moments. “We also discovered that if you follow up this process by leaning forward such that your elbows are positioned on a flat surface, and then push back your hair with both hands while massaging your temples with your thumbs, the next several seconds will all be over soon enough.” Durante added that this procedure can be repeated indefinitely as needed to get through any subsequent number of seconds, minutes, or hours.

Advertisement