This one is, as the kids say, down center plate. If you support Joe Biden's candidacy for president, you cannot stand on your pound Me Too soap box. In fact, if you support Joe Biden for president, take your pound Me Too soapbox to the nearest recycling center where it may be repurposed into some kind of birdhouse. Chicken coop. Maybe as a place to store your marbles. You do you, boo. Point is, let's not pretend there aren't seventeen thousand to the power of five other Democrat options here. We're so early in the presidential candidate race, Biden's not even officially announced. In fact, since we're done with pretenses, let's not pretend all these creep pervert stories from Biden's long storied past of creep pervert ways aren't coming from Kamala Harris and Beto O'Rourke. Heck, I'm feeling generous. Let's not pretend a few of these jabs aren't also coming from fellow adult diaper model, Bernie Sanders.

Truth is, Joe Biden is a creep pervert. That's why there's evidence of Joe being both a creep and a pervert. Simplest solution is usually the right one, you feel me? Read Top 10 Times Joe Biden was a Creep in Public.

Okay, yeah, the Donald Trump "grab 'em by the p*ssy" tape. Let's talk about that, I know you're screaming it. It was ugly. Pretty gross stuff, in my opinion, for a man to say such a thing. I didn't like it. But gross though it was -- and is -- Donald Trump did say "let them grab" as in consent. Yes, I feel icky just talking about it. But a tape from Access Hollywood was the worst they had on Trump. And at that time he was the nominee. Running against Madam Cankles of The Cloth or Something who was married to a rapist (allegedly) and helped to cover up those rapes (allegedly). The lesser of two evils theory applied. Times a thousand.

Can we get back to Joe Biden now? Thanks.

Joe Biden is weird with women. He gets into their spaces. He puts his nose in their hair, their faces, their necks. It's inappropriate. If you can watch any number of the Biden montages of him being with ladies, out in the open mind you, and think he's not being a creep pervert, then we need to get your creep pervert radar checked out. Stat.

No, actually, I don't think I'm overusing the term "creep pervert." Send me your hate tweets.

Lucy Flores fired the first official shot, but video evidence of Biden being a pervert is freely accessible. Lucy Flores wrote in The Cut:

I felt him get closer to me from behind. He leaned further in and inhaled my hair. I was mortified. I thought to myself, “I didn’t wash my hair today and the vice-president of the United States is smelling it. And also, what in the actual fuck? Why is the vice-president of the United States smelling my hair?” He proceeded to plant a big slow kiss on the back of my head. My brain couldn’t process what was happening. I was embarrassed. I was shocked. I was confused. There is a Spanish saying, “tragame tierra,” it means, “earth, swallow me whole.” I couldn’t move and I couldn’t say anything. I wanted nothing more than to get Biden away from me. My name was called and I was never happier to get on stage in front of an audience.

Flores even details, further in the article, other instances of Biden being a creep with other women. So the evidence is legion.

But it seems some of the same people who didn't want Brett Kavanaugh donning the SCOTUS robes over false claims of him running gang rape rings, or attempting to rape a woman who can't remember the date of the attempted rape, the location of the attempted rape, or any of the guests at the party where the attempted rape occurred, are totally fine with creepy Joe leading their presidential ticket. I have a word for you people: hypocritical guttersnipes. Okay, that's two words.

There was no evidence for Kavanaugh, plenty of evidence for Biden. Therein lies the key difference. Real sexual harassment outweighs fake rape accusations.

You cannot support someone like Joe Biden then turn around and say you're against sexual harassment and those people who willingly engage in it. From the looks of it, Joe Biden willingly engages in it.

So, so weird. Shame on all the men around him for not punching him right in the kisser. Seriously, guys, what the actual hell?

Notice I'm not accusing Joe Biden of being a rape pervert. Just a creep pervert. Sexual impropriety is a spectrum, unlike gender. A man wolf-whistling at a woman as she crosses the street is not the same as rape or forcing her to watch Game of Thrones for the seventh time. So please, spare me the equivalence and the lecture.

Joe Biden makes women uncomfortable. He acts inappropriately with women. Which falls somewhere on the sexual harassment spectrum. Not nearly as bad as rape, but worse than telling a woman to sit on his face in a drunken text message. Spectrums.

Now, imagine Joe Biden as the most powerful man in the world, with access to lots of ladies. If you're against women being sexually harassed, why would you elect a known sexual harasser and put him in the White House. No, please don't "But TRUMP!" me, we covered that already in the third paragraph of this column. Go read it again.

There's a full cadre of Democrats hoping to be president. Sure Beto eats dirt and Kamala sleeps her way to the top, Cory is a vegan and Bernie Sanders is a loon. At least neither of the four I just mentioned are accused of being a perv with multiple women. Maybe let's start there, yeah?

~Written by Courtney Kirchoff