I’m bringing back the Bulls bracket. I last did this in 2014. Go back and read that one if you want to remember what it’s like to be happy as a Bulls fan. I also did a proto-version in 2013, which was won by the immortal Cuppy Coffee.

Please include your Sweet 16, Elite 8, Final 4 and title game winner in the comments.

Bulls Bracket 2018

The Corey Benjamin region

1. Zach LaVine gives a girl a puppy vs. 16. Antonio Blakeney G League explosions

Blakeney’s G-League scoring outbursts are cute, but ....

Not this cute.

Winner: LaVine’s puppy.

8. Lauri’s Borat impression vs. 9 Lauri’s thumbs up Borat avi

Very few things more delightful than Lauri Markkanen being a “Borat” superfan. The Ringer had him read some lines:

Still, I prefer the more subtle tribute in his Twitter avatar:

Lauri Markkanen voice: very nice!

Winner: Thumbs up avi

5. Mom trip vs. 12. See Red Fred

Hot takes or moms?

2020 Predictions: LaVine wins dunk contest and All Star MVP in Chicago. Bulls win title. Bears win title. The Lovie Smith Illini win the National Championship over Alabama, as @AdamAAbdalla vomits. — See Red Fred (@cbefred) January 11, 2018

Answer: always moms.

Winner: Mom trip

4. Markkanen Knicks dunk vs. 13 Luka Doncic liking Markkanen’s IG photo

It’s not gonna happen:

I think we’ll look back at Markkanen’s 33 points in Madison Square Garden as his true coming out party. There is no doubt this was the defining moment:

Winner: Markkanen dunk

6. Nate Scott’s “Bulls in Six” tribute vs 11. My hate mail

SB Nation’s Nate Scott picked out his favorite stories of 2017 and I don’t know if I should feel honored or owned.

Bulls in 6 I don’t know if this is an essay, a rant, an argument, a devastating work of a broken man or a masterstroke of genius, but nothing made me laugh harder this year than Ricky O’Donnell’s “Bulls in 6”, a piece that manages to rip down an organization and show an undying love for it all in a few hundred words.

Meanwhile, this is the shit See Red Nation likes to tweet at me:

Is it Ricky or Rosie O'Donnell? I can't tell the difference. Both always got something up their ass. pic.twitter.com/gREryklyVk — TupacSmalls (@smalls_tupac) September 20, 2017

My uncle Lou is the only person to retweet that.

Winner: Nate on “Bulls in Six”

3. Bobby Portis flexes vs. 14. Lauri Markkanen flexes

Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery ....

This is literally the only thing Portis beats Lauri in.

(also maybe fighting)

Winner: Portis flexing

7. Thibs gets a T for yelling at his own player vs. 10. LaVine out-dueling Jimmy

That Feb. 9 Bulls win over the Wolves was iconic:

Not as iconic as Thibs getting a technical for yelling at Karl-Antony Towns, though.

They really gave Thibs a tech for cursing out KAT pic.twitter.com/wvOI9uLWCw — Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) February 10, 2018

Winner: Thibs T

2. RoLo’s t-shirts vs. 15 P.J. Rose Jurassic Park themed bday party

Robin Lopez’s t-shirt collection is elite:

I'll be on @CLTVSportsFeed discussing all levels of basketball and Robin Lopez's exceptional t-shirt collection tonight at 6 pic.twitter.com/4wBmODegfW — Ricky O'Donnell (@SBN_Ricky) March 6, 2018

I only have one question about the P.J. Rose party: Is that Derrick in the dino suit????

A post shared by Pj Mommy (@miekajoi_) on Oct 16, 2017 at 9:41pm PDT

I’m choosing to believe yes, yes it is.

Winner: P.J.’s party

Round of 32

1. Zach LaVine’s puppy vs. 9. Lauri’s twitter avi

Winner: LaVine puppy

5. Mom trip vs. 4. Markkanen’s Knicks dunk

Winner: Markkanen’s Knicks dunk

6. Nate on “Bulls in Six” vs. 3. Portis flexes

Winner: Portis flexes

7. Thibs gets a T for yelling at his own player vs. 15. P.J.’s party

Winner: Thibs T

Sweet 16

1. Zach LaVine’s puppy vs. 4. Markkanen’s Knicks dunk

Winner: LaVine puppy

3. Portis flexes vs. 7. Thibs gets a T for yelling at his own player

Winner: Thibs T

Elite Eight

1. Zach LaVine’s puppy vs. 7. Thibs gets a T for yelling at his own player

Winner: LaVine puppy

Puppy to the Final Four.

Dragan Tarlać region

1. The Punch vs. Thibs’ smile

The Punch is the most embarrassing Bulls moment of all-time. There was nothing cool or funny about it. It was dangerous and stupid. I would take 500 Rondo Instagram rants over one more punch.

On the other hand:

Winner: Thibs’ smile

8. Felicio’s plus-minus vs. 9 Felicio jetboat time

How bad has Felicio been this season?

This season with Felicio on the court, the Bulls have a net rating of -24.8. With Felicio as a starter, the Bulls are an unfathomable -38.7.

Pretty bad.

Conversely:

When she doesn’t text back

Winner: Jetboat time

5. Portis-Niko two man combo vs. 12. This D. Rose tweet

One of the underrated joys of the Bulls’ jarring improvement upon the return of Nikola Mirotic was how well he paired with Bobby Portis.

Chicago is scoring 126.2 points per 100 possessions with Portis and Mirotic on the floor, while allowing just 92.5 points per 100 possessions, according to data from NBA.com. That net rating of 33.7 is better than any other lineup the Bulls have deployed this season, though you have to account for the small sample size of just 44 minutes played together over just four games this season.

It was pretty neat the way they were able to produce on the court even while not talking off of it!

But.

Lmfaooooooo Rose had a wholeass wedding and honeymoon and the Cavs cried about Kevin Love’s sick day https://t.co/uMsSHJY7ZD — Kyle S. Maggio (@MaggioNBA) February 1, 2018

Winner: This D. Rose tweet

4. Jimmy and Taj tribute vs. 13. Thrusting Ref

It’s a good thing I didn’t go to this game because I would have been crying.

Guess what: Thrusting Ref doesn’t give a fuck about your feelings.

Winner: Thrusting Ref

6. Bulls can’t score against four guys on the floor vs. 11. GRANDSON JOEY

Nothing is more 2017-18 Chicago Bulls than this:

Mavs get a tech for only having four guys on the floor. It doesn't matter, as Valentine totally whiffed a wide open shot and then missed the tech free throw. pic.twitter.com/sBNPbv8V6k — Stephen Noh (@StephNoh) March 3, 2018

This is exactly why we need Grandson Joey so bad.

Michael Reinsdorf's son, Joey, is getting credit to for convincing grandpa Jerry that the All-Star Game in Chicago would be cool. — Cody Westerlund (@CodyWesterlund) November 10, 2017

Reinsdorf was against having the All-Star Game in Chicago for forever. Grandson Joey changed that overnight.

Get this kid into analytics. He’s our only hope.

Winner: Grandson Joey

3. RoLo ejection vs. 14. RoLo chair throw

The ejection was good:

Robin Lopez just went nuts on this ejection pic.twitter.com/o3mKcr8dXM — Def Pen Hoops (@DefPenHoops) February 6, 2018

And the chair throw was even better:

Anddddddddddd Robin Lopez tossed this chair after his ejection pic.twitter.com/gQat2KPVsn — Def Pen Hoops (@DefPenHoops) February 6, 2018

7. Mighty Mateo’s halftime dunk contest vs 10. Nwaba jerseys

This is my dude:

First ever Nwaba jersey spotted in the wild pic.twitter.com/6WumCz0vJN — Ricky O'Donnell (@SBN_Ricky) January 15, 2018

But Mighty Mateo in a halftime dunk contest was just the sickest thing I’ve ever seen. I was blessed to be there in person:

Mighty Mateo was not playing around in the kids dunk contest last night pic.twitter.com/inhHlzXz8U — Chicago Bulls (@chicagobulls) January 16, 2018

Mighty Mateo > Hinrich.

Winner: Mighty Mateo

2. Cam Payne’s scooter vs. 15. Justin Holiday, Rock Star

Pretty good:

Justin Holiday is learning to play the guitar lately, Fred Hoiberg said. Hoiberg then called Holiday a "rock star" literally and then figuratively for handling his benching so professionally. — Cody Westerlund (@CodyWesterlund) March 5, 2018

Better:

The real rock star.

Winner: Cam Payne’s scooter

Round of 32

16. Thibs’ smile vs. 9. Jetboat time

Winner: Jetboat time

12. This D. Rose tweet vs. 13. Thrusting ref

Winner: Thrusting ref

11. Grandson Joey vs. 14. RoLo chair throw

Winner: Grandson Joey

2. Cam Payne’s scooter vs. 7. Kid dunk contest

Winner: Kid dunk contest

Sweet 16

9. Jetboat time vs. 13. Thrusting ref

Winner: Thrusting ref

11. Grandson Joey vs. 7. Kid dunk contest

Winner: Kid dunk contest

Elite Eight

13. Thrusting ref vs. 7. Kid dunk contest

Winner: Kid dunk cotest

MIGHTY MATEO TO THE FINAL FOUR AS A SEVEN SEED

Norm Van Lier region

1. Markkanen blocks a shot off Steph’s face vs. 16. Lauri does the same dunk as LeBron

“Same dunk” was pretty dope, but c’mon: nothing beats Lauri spiking this shot right off Steph’s dumb face and bad goatee.

RT World_Wide_Wob: Lauri Markkanen just spiked the ball on Steph Curry’s dome lmao pic.twitter.com/CG7xi8QJUc — YAPER (@repayyaper) January 19, 2018

8. Denzel Valentine’s Express ads vs. 9. Thibs vs. Nick Friedell

“HE MAY HAVE.”

.@NickFriedell: Did Jimmy [Butler] have an MRI on his knee? #Timberwolves head coach Tom Thibodeau: “He may have.” pic.twitter.com/R1NIloLhan — Chris Gonzales (@ChrisG_Sports) January 23, 2018

Apologies to the bad ads. Team Thibs, always.

Winner: Thibs vs. Friedell

5. Boozer/Nate Rob podcast vs. 12 This Bulls/Bucks sequence

I NEED THIS T-SHIRT

We launched a new NBA podcast hosted by @MisterCBooz and @nate_robinson. Subscribe now and you might receive a #HOLDAT shirt https://t.co/R5ZAyxwZGk pic.twitter.com/nBZ9UMMLBX — Jarrel (@_JarrelHarris) February 21, 2018

Winner: Boozer/Nate podcast

I don’t know why this is so fucking funny to me, but it is.

Timberbulls — Bobby BP Portis (@BPortistime) March 8, 2018

Winner: TimberBulls

6. Trading for Omer Asik vs. 11. Kirk Hinrich’s rookie photo

I still haven’t forgiven Asik for missing those free throws against Philadelphia in 2012.

Meanwhile, on “The OC”:

Winner: Rookie Kirk

3. 7-game winning streak vs. 14. Kris Dunn yelling “Fuck him” to Alec Burks

Hey, I loved that winning streak while it was happening. Do I regret it now? Um. Obviously.

Anyway. “FUCK HIM”

Winner: “Fuck him”

7. Trading Jimmy Butler vs. 10. Paying D Wade $39 million for 66 games

Life is meaningless. Eat at Arby’s.

Winner: lmao giving Wade all that bread

2. LaVine poster on JaKarr Sampson vs. 15. This dude literally eating his words

To make it even more ruthless: JaKarr Sampson got his ass sent to the G-League immediately after this.

RT trigonis30: RT SLAMonline: ZACH LAVINE WITH THE POSTER OF THE YEAR ON JAKARR SAMPSON (via chicagobulls) pic.twitter.com/XwzjGzIevU — Alan D. Miller (@AlanDMiller1) February 10, 2018

Don’t eat paper, kids. That’s weird.

Winner: LaVine poster

Round of 32

1. Markkanen block off Steph’s face vs. 9. Thibs vs. Friedell

Winner: Markkanen block off Steph’s face

5. HolDat podcast vs. 4. TimberBulls

Winner: TimberBulls

14. “Fuck him” vs. 11. Rookie Kirk

Winner: Rookie Kirk

2. LaVine poster vs. 10. Paying D-Wade $39 million

Winner: LaVine poster

Sweet 16

1. Markkanen block off Steph’s face vs. 4. TimberBulls

Winner: Markkanen block

2. LaVine poster vs. 11. Rookie Kirk

Winner: LaVine poster

Elite Eight

1. Markkanen block off Steph’s face vs. 2. LaVine poster

Winner: Markkanen block off Steph’s face

Steph’s bruised head and ego to the Final Four.

Rusty LaRue region

1. Jordan Bell’s cash considerations taunt vs. 16. Including the No. 16 pick in the Butler trade

Imagine John Paxson’s face when he saw this lmaooooo

Jordan Bell on his money gesture vs the Bulls: “I wanted to see how cash considerations was playing over there”



FULL ➡️: https://t.co/BjQaxocgs1 pic.twitter.com/n8YQu8XBta — Ballislife.com (@Ballislife) November 25, 2017

Winner: Jordan Bell’s Cash Considerations taunt

8. Kris Dunn’s faceplant vs. 9. Kris Dunn’s Mighty Ducks jersey

That faceplant was scary, man. Adam Banks over head trauma all day.

Bulls are making the playoffs pic.twitter.com/Ax9NlDr6Xi — Ricky O'Donnell (@SBN_Ricky) December 31, 2017

Winner: Mighty Ducks jersey.

5. Jimmy falls out of the boat vs. 12. Markkanen pregame dunks

I watched a lot of Lauri Markkanen at Arizona and never did I think he’d be pulling this shit off:

Lauri Markkanen off the glass between the legs dunk pregame pic.twitter.com/IR2rultkeS — The Render (@TheRenderNBA) October 30, 2017

I’m still loyal to Jimmy, though. Personally, I prefer the Taylor Swift version:

Here's Jimmy Butler Screaming As He Falls Out of a Canoe Mashed Up The With Taylor Swift. pic.twitter.com/OObWZ6Ag8X — Josh Pacheco (@RealJoshPacheco) November 8, 2017

4. Henry the Kid Reporter vs. 13. Bill Wennington’s Harold’s selfie

We love Henry the Reporter:

⚠️ WARNING: Henry eating Fondue and discussing Valentine's Day with #Bulls players is VERY cute! pic.twitter.com/8rYqCNsXvO — Chicago Bulls (@chicagobulls) February 14, 2018

But not as much as we love Harold’s.

Winner: Bill Wennington’s Harold’s selfie

6. D-Rose pay me double vs. 11. Tony Allen’s Bulls career

Hit me, Wilmes:

I’m finding out Tony Allen is leaving the Bulls before I found out he came.. what is the long-ass untranslatable German word for this form of tragedy — john wilmes (@johnwilmeswords) February 1, 2018

Very good. But I remain 0% over this D. Rose quote:

Derrick Rose says teams will have to 'pay me double' after this season in Cleveland https://t.co/5TkJrPMbBd pic.twitter.com/HjJaj1LHaF — Dime on UPROXX (@DimeUPROXX) October 11, 2017

Derrick wants that Ron Baker money!

Great, now I’m incredibly sad.

Winner: D. Rose “Pay me double”

3. Tanking vs. 14. Tank shaming

You idiots.

Sources: The NBA issued a warning to the Chicago Bulls this week on resting healthy players, and the team now plans to play veteran starters Robin Lopez and Justin Holiday again more extensively to close the season. — Shams Charania (@ShamsCharania) March 6, 2018

You big, dumb idiots.

Yo Bulls, I promise you Adam Silver is not watching you play the Grizzlies. You don't have to play Justin Holiday this much. — Stephen Noh (@StephNoh) March 8, 2018

Winner: Tank shaming

7. Markkanen permission vs. 10. “The Bullchelor”

The Bulls are officially trying harder at making viral videos than they are at, like, winning basketball games.

Anyway. This owns.

Strange but true: The Bulls Lauri Markkanen asked Brian Scalabrine if he could wear No. 24. Now that's respect. Insane, yes. But respect. — Frank Isola (@FisolaNYDN) October 25, 2017

Winner: Markkanen permission

2. That Noah Instagram with Deng and Gordon vs. 15. Jimmy’s Taj tribute

Did both make me weep? Yes. But only one reduced me to rubble.

Winner: Noah’s IG with Lu and Ben

Round of 32

1. Cash considerations taunt vs. 9. Kris Dunn’s Mighty Ducks jersey

Winner: Cash considerations taunt

5. Jimmy falls out of a boat vs. 13. Bill Wennington’s Harold’s selfie

Winner: Bill Wennington’s Harold’s selfie

6. D. Rose “Pay me double” vs. 14. Tank shaming

Winner: Tank shaming

7. Markkanen asks Scalabrine to wear No. 24 vs. 2. Noah’s IG with Lu and Ben Gordon

Winner: Noah’s IG with Lu and Ben Gordon

Sweet 16

1. Jordan Bell’s cash considerations taunt vs. 13. Bill Wennington’s Harold’s selfie

Winner: Bill Wennington’s Harold’s selfie

14. Tank shaming vs. 2. Noah’s IG with Lu and Ben Gordon

Winner: Noah’s IG with Lu and Ben Gordon

Elite Eight

13. Bill Wennington’s Harold’s selfie vs. 2. Noah’s IG with Lu and Ben Gordon

Winner: 13. Bill Wennington’s Harold’s selfie

A Cinderella run for Bill’s selfie.

Final Four

1. Zach LaVine gives a girl a puppy vs. 7. Mighty Mateo’s dunk contest

Do you know what Mighty Mateo’s dunk contest didn’t have? A PUPPY.

.@ZachLaVine is about to surprise a well-deserving fan from @AftrSchoolMttrs with a gift... stay tuned pic.twitter.com/fiiEkkzJrc — Chicago Bulls (@chicagobulls) December 21, 2017

Another good point here:

Extremely psyched about my @ZachLaVine bobblehead but um...why isn’t he carrying a puppy? pic.twitter.com/HgNkU3ZoyV — Jordan Owen (@byjordanowen) January 14, 2018

Winner: Zach LaVine gives a girl a puppy

1. Markkanen blocks a shot off Steph’s face vs. 13. Bill Wennington’s Harold’s Selfie

On one hand: Lauri Markkanen sticks with Steph on the perimeter and then humiliates him by blocking a shot off his nose. Extremely good shit.

On the other hand: Bill Wennington proudly eating chicken.

Winner: Bill Wennington’s Harold’s selfie

National championship

1. Zach LaVine gifts a girl a puppy vs. 13. Bill Wennington’s Harold’s selfie

Our chicken Cinderella ends here. The face when you win the Bulls bracket:

Winner: Zach LaVine gives a girl a puppy