ALBUQUERQUE, NM—Claiming that the 56-year-old’s desire for authentic Native American ceramics is insatiable, local Pueblo artisans confirmed Wednesday that they can’t keep pace with area mother Shelly Burke’s ravenous appetite for earthenware. “She’s just relentless—my entire inventory is down to pretty much nothing. How many bowls does this woman need?” said Sandia tribe pottery maker Teresa Otero, insisting that there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to handcraft the number of clay pots necessary to satisfy the mother of three’s inexhaustible cravings. “She shows up several times a week, sees the pottery, says it’s adorable, and snaps up every piece we’ve got. It was one thing when she was just putting them in her living room, but now that she’s giving them away as gifts, we’re spread way too thin. Honestly, I haven’t seen my family in a week.” At press time, Otero reflexively tensed up as a visibly delighted Burke approached a table filled with ceramic storyteller dolls.

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