New York City, NY—

Fox News CEO John Weisse today announced that, because Fox News has bet its reputation and journalistic credibility on the Russiagate controversy currently engulfing the Trump Administration being a total hoax and fabrication of the fake news liberal media, if Trump turns out to have actually colluded with Vladimir Putin’s Russian government he would “sell Fox News and all of its media holdings and intellectual property to Hillary Clinton for one dollar.”

“Look, I’m a man of honor,” Weisse said. “If we’re wrong about Trump’s alleged collusion being a witch hunt, there will be literally no reason for anyone to ever trust us or listen to us ever again. The entire Fox brand will have been compromised, and I can think of no reason why I should let Fox News continue to exist as a news organization. We have wall-to-wall coverage accusing the entire government of conducting some ‘deep-state’ conspiracy against Trump, and if Bob Mueller one day suddenly arrests dozens of Trump administration officials, campaign workers and business associates for various, legitimate crimes against American sovereignty it’s like game over for us. So if we’re wrong about Trump’s innocence, that’s it: it’s the end of Fox News as we know it. Hillary Clinton can literally have Fox News for a single dollar and do whatever she wants with it. Fill it up with boring shows about detailed political policies that will make a positive impact on millions of Americans’ lives, or whatever other lame crap she cares about. And I’m a man of my word. I swear to God this is true. We’re pretty much all-in here. Have you seen any of Sean Hannity shows? Or Jeanine Pirro? Jesus Christ, their heads practically explode from all their deep-state conspiracy theories. I’m 100% serious, there’s no coming back for Fox if Donald Trump is actually guilty like almost everyone else thinks. Hillary can rename Fox whatever she wants, fire anyone, give herself a talk show—the future of Fox News will be left entirely up to her.”

(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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