Hey Lil Mamma

Of my superfluous months in college, one, minuscule yet beautiful, thing I have learned about this tiny bubble, is the fact that I can have a deep and profound conversation with just about anyone, at any location, at any time of day (Maybe I owe this to my personality). I recall many 3am talks regarding theorist platforms and other genocide related topics, even though that 8 am test lurks in my near future (5 hours later: test. WOW I wonder why I'm tired).

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Rape. Consent. Strength. Power. Voice. Weakness. Yes. Hope. Denial.

Acceptance. No. Forgiveness. Purity. Feminism.

Words.

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I too have a dream that my daughter's will one day be able to walk down the street in their apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur, and not be cat-called by those scumbags on the corner, but complimented on their perfectly winged eyeliner.

Satire.

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[Now before I receive hate on this topic and the quote that I mirrored off of the brilliant and inspirational Martin Luther King Jr., here is my preface. I in no way want to offend anyone. This is a touchy topic and know it is very multifaceted. My opinions are mine, and yours are yours. The 18 years of life I have lived thus far, have instilled independence and strength within me, to the point that I feel a desire to write about this (thanks mom). I believe that in instances of women or men being drugged, kidnapped, lethally intoxicated, and/or other circumstances, they are undeniably and most definitely examples of assault. I want to talk more about the image that people hold of themselves and others and my experiences.]

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In college (and everywhere) there is a lot of talk about rape. Listening to stories and reading more and more articles (BuzzFeed not included), I have felt that the road regarding "it" is going in, more or less, one direction. No matter what, if a women claims she has been sexually assaulted, then she has been. Period. I do not completely agree with this in every case, because I believe this "road" is a freeway… going two directions, WAY above the speed limit (many factors into each situation).

As a young woman I feel very strong about my sexuality and the power I hold being a female. In no way have I, or will I, feel superior to a man. I consider myself a feminist (the actual definition). Everything I say applies to how women treat men also.

Growing up my mother showed me the "proper" way to dress. She showed me modesty. She showed me class. She taught me manners. She taught me to respect my elders. She told me if I'm sad about something, after three weeks if I'm still sad, then it might actually means something to me. She told me that happiness must stem from within me. She told me that I was the decider of me. She taught me that being comfortable alone, is invaluable. She educated me. She listened to me. I rebelled. I fought. I said "I am". I said "I know". Did I know? No.

At the time they were all words. They had no meaning. — Yes I had my heart throb. — Yes they called me chewbacca in the 6th grade because of the 10 hairs I had on my arm. — She told me, "Don't be sad over what they call you or how they treat you, you never know their story". I heard this one loud and clear. I never fret over the problems because I always thought they were mean to me because they also had problems. That made us similar. That made us people. I never saw myself as being "wrong". So as I grew up, nothing really got to me. I was pretty aloof to boys and everything along those lines (aloof to what they said. I love testosteroned humans).

YOU: "Wtf, where are you going with this Kass?"

KASS: "Hold up compadre."

My mom taught me how to be comfortable with myself. Comfortable saying no. Comfortable with being alone. Many girls are taught to fear boys (like they are a taboo) because they can "hurt" you if you aren't careful. Fear them all because they all have the same intentions. No. This is all wrong. (Unless the punch is drugged, always drink what the guys are drinking) Girls should be taught that they have the independence and power to walk into a room alone. Talk to who they want. Kiss who they want. Set the boundaries and not feel ashamed to walk away from a situation they don't like. Women shouldn't feel embarrassed to say no. No is powerful and so is sexuality. I believe that "no" and "yes" are the two most powerful words. I believe that "sexy" is too much focused on sex appeal. Women and men see sex appeal portrayed in magazines and axe commercials… But everyone really knows that sexuality is strongest in the zone of the unknown. We are attracted to what we don't necessarily have.

Side note:

By all means, if you want to have sex with someone you do/don't know, do it. Intent and consent is great. You go Bon Qui Qui. What I'm saying is that mom's need to instill independence in their daughters so they don't feel objectified by men. Women feel objectified because they feel their worth comes from what men think. It's [sub]conscious. It's all in the mind. Instill this IDGAF attitude in girls so if they have their right mind (not belligerently drunk or on any substance) they will feel comfortable saying no in an awkward situation. "No" gets easier every time you say it. Just as all the individual words in the beginning of this post have incredible symbolism. So should yes and no.

Un side note:

A strong woman is beautiful, sexy, and in control. A strong man is the same. People respect strength.

Next time you're walking down the street and two guys hollah, "hey little mama", respond with, "I'm appalled you would think of your mother in that way". Watch them choke up, proceed to laugh, and strut your shit. Work what yo mamma gave you.

With all that being said, I have learned that I have to power to act and do as I God-damn well please. That if I want to where a 34-quadruple C bra (smaller bras push boobs up more – your welcome boys) and a v-neck down to my naval, I will (which I will never do because of the great discomfort that would cause me).