Uber, Overpriced Hookers and $41.2 Billion Why Uber is the Only One for Me

I'm usually pretty good about keeping my phone charged.

Mostly because I've learned that when my phone is either missing or dead, I have a small panic attack.

It's actually quite sad when you think about it. I've become so reliant upon this little device, that I actually break a slight sweat the moment I realize I'm not “connected.”

I actually had one of these moments yesterday after reaching for my phone to use my Uber app.

I must've forgotten to plug it in during the afternoon. The battery was completely drained, and I couldn't even get the thing to turn on. This was unfortunate because I needed a ride to the garage to pick up my car.

I know, I know. First-world problems. I get it.

Still, after realizing that I had no way to contact Uber, I found myself in a place I never thought I'd be again. Hailing a taxi.

10 Minutes in a Shitty Cab

There were two taxis sitting outside of my office.

I approached the first one, but the driver told me to go to the other one across the street. So I did.

When I went up to the second taxi, the driver asked me where I was going. I told him and he suggested I go to the other taxi, to which I responded, “He told me to come over here.”

Reluctantly, the driver unlocked the doors and told me to “come on.”

So pleasant.

I gave him the address, and spent the next ten minutes sitting in the backseat of a shitty cab that had water on the floor and a vanilla-scented air freshener tree hanging from the rear view mirror. Although I hesitate to call it an “air freshener.” Unless of course by air freshener we mean a piece of cardboard that smells like chemical vomit.

Then, to cap off a typical ride in a conventional taxi, the driver dropped me off two blocks from my destination. I couldn't stand the smell, so I just got out, paid him, and went on my way, pining for Uber.

It was as if I had broken up with a girlfriend, realized I made a mistake, and desperately wanted her back.

Of course, I would NEVER break up with Uber.

Really, it was just a series of unfortunate events that led me to the “other woman.” But trust me, my love. This will never happen again.

Uber, you are the only one for me …

A true free market solution to the overpriced hookers that typically get you where you need to go, but when you're done, you're broke, dissatisfied and filled with buyer's remorse.

The Uber IPO

Although Uber is still dealing with all kinds of pushback from government thugs and conventional taxi apologists, it continues to illustrate how free markets do offer the best solutions to most of our problems. It's no wonder it's valued at $41.2 billion. Yeah, that's billion, with a “B.”

The Wall Street Journal has touted Uber as having the highest valuation for any private startup backed by venture capitalists, and above the market caps of a number of public companies, like Delta Airlines and Charles Schwab.

Needless to say, investors are salivating over the possibilities of an Uber IPO. But some are now suggesting that Google might actually acquire the whole operation. You can read more about that here.