When you grow up in a religion you are told that if you pray to God with pure intentions, God helps you out. I would ask Allah for so many interesting things from childhood until apostasy. Here’s a list of things I would ask Allah for (please keep in mind I used to think differently):

Bless my family, help them make it to heaven

Show the girl in school I had a crush on the righteous path of Islam so we can maybe be in heaven together.

If Allah can do anything, he can give me Super Saiyan powers too. So I begged Allah to give me miraculous abilities like the prophets and allow me to become a Super Saiyan.

Good grades

Good fortune for family.

Cure my aunt of her cancer (she wasn’t cured, She died.)

Help John Kerry beat George Bush in the 2004 elections.

Leak footage of George Bush, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld admitting and laughing about how 9/11 was an inside job just to help them get oil, and obliterate Islam.

Keep me safe from Shaytan

Help me get over that crush on that girl because I can’t stop looking at her more than once and that’s Shaytan tempting me

Help me make it to heaven

“Take my life tonight. And if you do, take me to heaven.”

Help me beat my brother in YugiOh Cards

Allow my mother to have a safe pregnancy

Let me dream of Muhammed

I checked out that girl in class. Please forgive me!

Help me get over these doubts

Give me the power of teleportation

Okay, if you convert that hot chick into Islam and let me marry her, I’ll pray forever and will put all my energy into building a mosque.

Apparently gay people exist. Allah please keep me away from this gay disease

Allah protect me from Shaytan

So apparently it’s possible to control air, fire, water, earth the way they do in Avatar: The Last Airbender. Can I get those powers? Come on.

Allah can I see you? These atheists are messing with my head. I just want to see you. Allah please let me maintain this faith. Allah give me wisdom to convert these atheists.

Can we just enjoy the fact that I asked Allah to give me Super Saiyan powers?

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