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Brunswick Junior High School

Brunswick, Maine, USA 04011

Men's restroom, 1st floor

Fuck me suck me,

make me bleed.

Kinky sex,

is what i need.

I read this above a urinal one day back in junior high. I'll never foget it. Nor will I forget how hard it is to pee while laughing hysterically, or the strange looks people gave me when I walked out, still chuckling to myself.

Hotel Lobby Restroom

Illinois USA

Men's restroom, 1st floor

Some come here to sit and think,

some come here to shit and stink,

but I come here to itch my balls,

and read the writing on the walls.

I thought this was a funny poem...

Veronica Hall, Alvernia College

Reading, Pennsylvania USA 19607

Men's restroom, in the basement/dungeon

On the ceiling above the toilet seat.

Your shit must feel real good if your looking up here.

I looked at this writing every day of my freshman year. No idea who put it there.

Tara Anglican School for Girls

Sydney, NSW Australia 2151

Women's restroom, 2nd floor

If you tinkle and you sprinkle,

Be a sweetie wipe the seatie

Just thought it was a cute rhyme for a chicks bathroom.

Dreamgirls Strip Club

Minneapolis, Minnesota 55404

Women's restroom, 1st and only floor

Brenda fucked my man

She fucked mine too!

Who's your man?

Jayvon- I'll kick her ass

I'm gonna kick YOUR ass-Jayvon's my man's name!!!!!

This last has to be from Brenda herself:

Stop flattening my tires you stoopid hoes- u see hes not no good

And under THAT:

And now I'M fuckin him! Trish

And finally:

jokes on all of you- he gave my clamidia!!! Betsie

Betsie was the only female bouncer in the place, and everyone was scared of her — so they barred Jayvon (who really WAS sleeping with half of the dancers) and all stripped happily ever after!

Sportsmans' Park Restrooms

Idaho Falls, ID 83404

Men's restroom, 1st floor

For a good conversation, meet here at 2:50pm on July 10.

Look for a maroon van.

Known locally as "Peter Park" because the homosexual perverts (not to say all homosexuals are perverts, just the twisted, child molesting ones) like to meet there, I found myself in that bathroom, on that day, at 2:47 PM. I cannot describe the abject horror I felt. I peed on myself in my haste to exit the bathroom, and sure enough, a maroon minivan pulled up at 2:49 and a suspicious pervert got out and checked the bathroom. If you have ever seen Dumb and Dumber, you can't even imagine the terror of the truckstop bathrooom scene.

John Yeats Middle School

Suffolk, Virginia USA 23435

Women's restroom, 1st and only

Killing for peace is like fucking for chastity.

John Yeats Middle School

Suffolk, Virginia USA 23435

Women's restroom, 1st and only floor

Sticks and stones may break my bones,

but whips and chains excite me,

So... throw me down,

and tie me up and show me that you like me.

I saw it and I loved it.

Ohio USA

Women's restroom, 1st floor

I HAD SEX IN THIS STALL!

I noticed it while I was on the toilet and it really grossed me out... I think it meant that that chick had sex in the stall.

Clear Run Intermediate School

Tobyhanna, PA, USA 18466

Women's restroom, 2nd floor

Here I sit I'm at a loss

Trying to shit out taco sauce

I know I'm gonna drop a load

I only hope I don't explode

This only stayed for a little while, but it made me laugh. Gotta love those cafeteria tacos!

Rest Stop

Somewhere in Ohio USA

Men's restroom, 1st floor

You are at a 45 degree angle.

This inscription was located in the bottom front corner of the stall, in small enough print that you had to bend over to read it.

Work

Tucson, Arizona USA 85715

Men's restroom, 3rd

JESUS SAVES!

-below-

YEAH, BUT MOSES INVESTS.

Brilliant in its subtlety.

Oak Ridge High School

The Woodlands, Texas USA 77382

Women's restroom, 1st and only floor

jessica loves michael

(Below.)

so it was u!!!

Apparently someone was cheating on his girlfriend...and she found out!

Coop H.S.

New Haven, Connecticut USA 06510

Women's restroom, 3rd floor

In the handicap stall, the right-hand corner by the door,

Suck my balls

And underneath it, in different handwriting,

If you have balls then why are you in the girl's bathroom?

I guess the person who wrote the reply hadn't been in Coop long enough to hear tales of "The Boom-Boom Room."

A building belonging to Yale University

New Haven, Connecticut USA 06510

Women's restroom, basement floor

Mmm... Pussy

And right underneath it;

Maturity... ain't it grand?

I guess Yalies are no different from everyone else.

Mr. P Potty

Calgary, Alberta CANADA V2P LR5

Men's restroom, dirt ground porto potty, (slighty elevated)

I see you taking that shit!

Now put it back.

My presumptions would be that when you are being secretly observed doing your business it's nice to know that the onlooker is at least kind enough to let you know about it.

Port-a-Can

Jackson, Mississippi USA 39641

Unisex restroom, ground floor

A womans ass and a wine glass will leave a man scratching a broke ass.

Wrote by my dad as words of wisdom to all us young guys.

Lowe's Hardware

Waycross, Georgia USA 31501

Men's restroom, 1st floor

These colors never run.

Written in black magic marker below an attempt to draw a U.S. flag, also in black magic marker, on a beige background, with far too few stars and only six stripes.

The Top

Gainesville, Florida USA 32601

Men's restroom, 1st floor

Ramesh

sucks

at

Life?!?

Written in an odd yellow glittery permanent marker.

Downtown Library

Gainesville, Florida USA 32601

Men's restroom, 1st floor

JESUS CLONES YOU

Apparently someone took issue with the proselytizing.

Concordia University

Buetow Music Building

St. Paul, Minnesota USA 55104

Women's restroom, 1st floor

i love brian!

apparently not enough to keep from defacing a bathroom stall.

The second was written underneath the first, in different handwriting that looked like a professor's.

Jackpot

Raleigh, North Carolina USA 27606

Women's restroom, 1st floor

A kiss is two questions answered at once.

Construction Site

Irvine, California USA

Unisex restroom, 1st floor

Don't eat the white mint.

This was on the wall of a "porta-potty" on a construction site.

University College Dublin

Library building

Dublin IRELAND 01

Women's restroom, 2nd floor

Written on the left wall:

*TOILET TENNIS*

look right

Written on the right wall:

look left

This could keep you going for awhile!

Outside main Palace

Port-o-Potty

Tikrit IRAQ 09036

Unisex restroom

Everybody pisses on the floor. be a hero and shit on the ceiling

Got to love the minds of our nation's soldiers. So inventive.

Janitor's note: Wow, our first entry from a soldier in Iraq (?)!

Administrative

Spokane, Washington USA

Men's restroom, 1st floor

FATTY MCGEE, YOUR THE FATEST

Huh?

Explanation from The Daily Farmer:

This is a reference to an Adam Sandler CD [They're All Gonna Laugh At You] bit about a fat kid who wheezes so loud when he climbs stairs that the fire dept. thinks that it is a fire alarm. When they realize that it is just the kid, they say... "Oh Fatty McGee, you're that fattest!"

Humptys Resturant

Calgary, Alberta CANADA 102-920

Women's restroom, 1st floor

I was here but now i'm not I sat right here and smoked some pot, I'm writing this to make a point, Lifes a bitch so smoke a joint

I agree!

Hastings College

Music Building

Hastings, Nebraska USA 37076

Men's restroom, main floor

Written on tank next to handle:

Please wiggle Handel

Written below it:

If I do, will it wiggle Bach?

Being a music student at the time, I found this to be clever and have always remembered it.

Georgia Southern University

Henderson Library

Statesboro, Georgia USA 30460

Men's restroom, bottom floor

Make me a Taco Bitch!

Below writing in a different pen:

Okay, you're a Taco Bitch. Happy?

When you leave out the comma the meaning is not the same. English Majors tend to remind us of this.

Circuit Court Montgomery County

Rockville, Maryland USA 20850

Men's restroom, 1st floor

WHY LOOK HERE-THE JOKES

IN YOUR HAND

LOCATED AT A URINAL

Shari's Restaurant

Shoreline, Washington USA 98133

Women's restroom, only floor

here I sit all broken hearted

tried to shit but only farted

then one day I took a chance

tried to fart and shit my pants

Saw the first half already posted on here... has been one of my favorite stall writings for a few years now.

Vines High School

Plano, Texas USA

Women's restroom, 1st floor

Here I sit

Broken-hearted

Came to shit

But only farted

I laughed so hard I almost fell in...

University of New Hampshire

Whittimore Center Arena

Durham, New Hampshire USA 03824

Women's restroom, main floor

My copy of "How to serve man" is missing. Has anyone seen it? Jen

This was found just after a meeting of science fiction geeks had left. There is a story that boils down to this: Aliens show up, end all wars, make everyone healthy and strong. Someone notices a book all of the aliens carry and asks what it is, hears "How to serve man" and asks for translated copy. Turns out to be a cookbook.

Barracks, Sheppard Air Force Base

Wichita Falls, Texas USA

Men's restroom, 1st floor

On the wall of the stall:

anybody can piss on the floor..to inpress me, be a hero and shit on the ceiling

And someone had thrown something brown up on the ceiling and then left this message:

OK. I'm a hero, now where's my medal!

This was back in 1971 and I thought it was funny as hell...

University of East Anglia

Science Block

Norwich UK NR4 7TJ

Men's restroom, 1st floor

I was visiting UEA (University of East Anglia) and found this gem on the wall of the stall.

Don't beam me up Scottie, I'm having a Sh

The thought of Jim squatting on the transporter pad just made me ache with laughter.

Reggies Sandwich Factory

Barrie, Ontario CANADA N6E 1R7

Women's restroom, 2nd floor

have you found that sex lately has been a pain in the ass?

well turn around! you're doing it the wrong way!!

Written below:

NO YOU'RE IN THE WRONG BATHROOM

The meaning is obvious, however these were stalls known for sexual conquests.

Australia Square

Sydney, AUSTRALIA

Men's restroom, 14th floor

Free Chile

Underneath:

With every hamburger

Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Stratton Student Center

Cambridge, Massachusetts USA 02139

Men's restroom, ground floor

America lost its viginity in Viet Nam.

... and got the clap too.

hey, I got the clap in Viet Nam.

You should watch who you go out with.

SO SHOULD AMERICA!

Circa 1972. Each line in a different hand. Took several weeks to complete.

Franklin High School, 300 building

Franklin, Virginia USA 23851

Men's restroom

Why are you staring at the wall.... the joke is in your hand

Creative for teenagers.

Port-a-Potty

Milton, Florida USA 32583

Unisex restroom, floor: ground

This toilet paper is like John Wayne. Tough as nails and dont take shit off nobody.

A classic, and one of the best in my opinion.

Pasadena College

Pasadena, California USA 91755

Men's restroom

a man must have great ambition in life to have to write his name on the wall of a bathroom stall

I noticed this writen on the wall after i tagged my name... Made me think.

Food 4 Less

Carson, California USA 90243

Women's restroom, 1st floor

On a sign that said "Please wash your hands completely clean" someone wrote:

how? there's no soap!

Damn cheap bathrooms.

George Washington Bus Terminal

New York, New York USA 10033

Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Written in a red sharpie:

"God is Dead" - Fred

Written in a black sharpie:

Fred is Dead,....GOD!

Probably means an atheist with no invisable [sic] means of support. :-)

My guess is that it don't pay to piss off God in the urinal.

[Note from a Stall visitor: "Fred" is referring to Frederick Nieztche, the philosopher, who said, "God is dead."]

Outhouse - in a city park

Charlotte, Michigan USA 48823

Unisex restroom

This is a tee pee

for a pee pee.

Not a wig wam

to beat your tom-tom.

I read this back in the 1950's when I was in grade school. It took a few years before I would grasp the meaning of it.

Polaris Mall

Port-a-john during construction

Columbus, Ohio USA 43023

Men's restroom

OSHA regulation 42-2 : All turds over 6 inches must be hand lowered.

Safety is always an issue on large construction sites.

The Writings on the Stall Archive

More entries located in the Men's, Unisex and Women's archives.