I´ve been out these past days. I couldn´t keep it in me any longer. There´s an insane amount of guilt I feel when I´m “sober”, and the way I feel ashamed, ohhhhh…!

I needed to take it out of my chest. I needed to talk to a real person about this, someone who can try at least to understand me and not jump to judgments.

I called my best friend and asked her to come over to my place. She came, I felt so impatient and nervous, very agitated around her that she even stopped me from circling the sofa…

“You scare me boy…Sit down and talk to me.. What´s up?”

She knows I´m a closeted gay, ´cause there´s just her and other one more person to know about me. I felt like the first time when I came out to her. I just couldn´t say it, the words wouldn´t come out of my mouth.

“Hey… I got you… Whatever it is, you know you can tell me…”

The way she makes me feel whenever there´s something hard on me, she just never made me feel abnormal.

“There´s a thing… I need to talk to someone about it ´cause it´s killing me…”, I say to her looking down at my shaking fingers…

“Is it something about Jacob?”, she asked. (Jacob is an old story about a guy I dated few months ago and loved him, because he was just one of those bad guys, with heavy energy, super closeted, big dick and too much rough sex, a guy who broke my heart and I barely moved on…)

“No, not that prick (I laugh nervously for a second)… There´s a guy… It just happened so unexpectedly and I can´t just let him go. It´s not even about letting him go, ´cause he won´t let me go as much as I asked him too, but it´s just not right…”

“Why would you want to end it… From where I stand it just looks like you both want it, so….?”

Oh my God, I was so scared to tell her who it is I was talking about .

“It´s not like that… Fuck it´s very hard to tell even you!!!!”

“Why? What´s happening? Is it someone I already know or someone new?”, she asked kinda amazed by my body language.

“You know him… that´s what´s the hardest part for me? Please, please, don´t judge me, I already feel like shit!!!!”

“Hey, just calm down babe… You scaring the shit out of me right now. Just tell me who is it… Rip off the fucking band-aid…”

“It´s Frank……………” she bulged her eyes on me…

“Frank? …. as in… my Frankie????? (oh yeah, forgot to mention that her 17 years old brother is Frank too)

“No…. not him”, I say feeling like I was on the edge of having my heart torn out of my chest.

“Then which Frank you talkin ab…. Oh wait… Frank, Jenn´s Frank??????”, she gasps not being able replace the relief she almost had from her Frankie with my brother in law Frank. “Are you…. for real?”, she keeps asking and me nodding all along with her words.

She just numbs and I numb too. There´s a couple of silent second cutting through all the veins in my body.

“Woow, Mark…. That´s….. not …. what I thought you´re going to say. I mean… It´s better than my Frankie, but … not better than anything else and you know I need to speak the truth no matter how hard it is for you to hear it…”

“I know”, I say starting feeling a bit of relief….

“How? When? How? How?” she kept mumbling…

I talked to her, I told her without too many sexual details what´s been going on between me and him. We´ve talked for almost two hours there. I cried, she cried, we laughed, we gasped, we overthought a lot and at the end there´s a conclusion and a hard decision I had to made myself and myself only. And that was that I would have to take the responsibility for whatever is going to happen from that moment on and I´d have to end it sooner or later ´cause that´s not something to become legit real. It is a mistake, I should´ve stopped it from the beginning, but it is what it is…

She left the house and I promised her that I´d ask for him to come talk about it asap. That´s what I did. I called him and asked to come over first thing… He asked me on the phone teasingly if I can´t go more than three days without him and I replied with a serious tone that I needed to have a proper discussion with him. I loved it for a second being dominant with him. He came in about two hours at my house….

I opened the door and he walked past me without any hand shake, high five or at least an eye contact. My Godmother!!! He smelled so good, his cologneee, his fucking colognee!! He was obviously coming directly from his office. He was wearing a pair of light grey suit pants which were accentuating his big ass and those athletic legs. Only wore a white office shirt and a black blouse on with its sleeves on top of his shoulders. His hair was freshly cut, he grew a bit of beard, enough to not cover the dimple and wore a minimalist black leather watch on his wrist. I always loved how he doesn´t go for eccentric masculine accessories, like he doesn´t need to prove his masculinity and he fucking succeeds every time. He´s a real good looking grown male with fine taste and round butt.

He stood there on his feet, by the couch, not planning to sit till I don´t start talking.

“Let´s sit, I want to talk to you…” I tell him going towards the couch wanting to take a seat, but he stops me raising his big long arm in front of me blocking my way.

“Can I at least kiss you before you talk me down?”, he goes teasing me, tilting his head to the side.

This meant he wasn´t taking me seriously. But by the looks on his face I wouldn´t get to start my talk if I don´t do as he pleased. So I did it. He took my chin in his hand and kissed me once looking me in the eyes, demanding that I watch what I´m planning to speak. I took him by the hand and sat on the couch facing him and he was facing me with our knees bent under us.

“I really think we should end it. ” , his face was getting mad.

“Why?” he asked letting go of my hand.

“I don´t have to give you reasons. It´s obvious…”

“Fine then.” he replies sharply. And this “fine” cut through me. (Yes, I want to end things up but, like, don´t let it be so easy. Fight me!)

“Ok then”, I say sharply too.

“Alright. You could´ve send me a text or tell me that when you called me”, he goes and I can feel he´s hurt and angry at me, but he just kept a serious face making me feel the bad one.

“I can´t go on, as much as I want it, I can´t go on…”

“I told you it´s all on me! Why do you think about it so much?!”, he snapped at me and I bulged my eyes looking up at him as he was stepping backwards to the exit.

“This is not how it´s supposed to work. You can´t take it all on you, I will still be held accountable for my mistakes, I´m not a fucking kid! Everyone knows I have a brain and if I keep going on it´s like I want it!”

“Do you?!!!”, he snaps back.

“What does it matter?! It´s just not right!”

“Do you want it?!”

“I don´t understand the relevan..”

“Do you fucking want this?!! Or you don´t?!!” he yells at me?

I look at him, with big eyes, shaking, almost ready to burst out. I didn´t know what to say, or how to react. I didn´t know where is this thread of questions going…

“Mark…. I ask you one last time…. Do you want anything from me, yes or no?”, he goes again with his voice calmer and his eyes closed.

He was hurting me so much. It´s hard to fucking live like this. I have feeling for him already. For me it´s never been about sex. Yes, sex is heaven, but I´ve loved this man from his first dick in my ass. He was making it so hard, why couldn´t he just say “fine” and go?

“I do…..”, I answer almost whispering, looking down at my feet.

He comes towards me, sits down and hugs me very tight, caressing my back and rubbing his ear to mine.

“I promise it´s going to be fine, just trust me! I will take care of it. “, he said that once, some time ago and this time I didn´t believe him any less than last time. I know he can take care of his family and me… I just wanted it to be right, but then the wrong is already done, so I guess that less or more harm won´t make the difference. Maybe that´s what he´s been thinking about. But I felt so loved seeing him resisting my decision even though he´s never expressed any feelings he has towards me. But his reaction from this day was worth more than words.

He took me by the neck softly with his large palms and started kissing me warm and sweet looking at me with infinite gratitude that I didn´t disappoint him. I felt again like a shy teenager not ready for his first kiss. He stood up, grabbed my hand and dragged me to the my bedroom and probably now we all know what that means with Frank.

I felt like after three days of his absence where my body had all the Frank-withdrawals symptoms, I deserved some bits of him finally. We´re both at the edge of my bed. He turns his back to me, throws on the floor his black blouse, unbuckled his belt, undid his the button of his pants and undressed himself of them. He was there, with his bare amazing bulgy ass, back turned to me, in only his white office shirt wrinkled at the lower edge. He wasn´t saying or doing anything. He was just there… standing still. My gooood! I was hard as a crystal and my dick was hurting in my pants. He reaches in the pocket of his pants on the floor and grabs a small plastic packet, which was seem to be a condom. Him bending in front of me, killed the pain out of my dick making my knees shake, my body shiver and my crotch cum. He bent so manly, spreading those great round cheeks, unveiling those big dark balls, that long thick cock between them. Hmmmmmmmm….. holy spirit. He handed me that small red packet, I took it, looked at it and read “Durex”. He wanted… me… to… fuck… him? I couldn´t fucking believe I got to do that. I undressed my pants, threw to the side my underwear and left only my black t-shirt on me. My dick was throbbing like a magic wand in large, evident moves. I had a lot of precum on the edge of leaking down on the floor and go to waste. So I rush to move closer to him and slip the head of my dick between his butt cheeks, moisturising his hole around with my precum. He exhaled so satisfied and put his face in his palms not making any other move. His ass is so big that shelters more than half of my dick between his cheeks and my dick is also pretty good looking, not as long as his, but definitely as thick. I knelt before his ass and start inhaling the smell of his skin. I went all around his buttocks, his thighs, biting softly his ass and something told me that he wasn´t coming directly from the office ´cause he was smelling like he took a shower quite recently. Maybe when I called him two hours ago. I dived my face in between his cheeks and I thought that there´s no way I could wake up from the mirage. His ass smelled so good it made my dick throb with strength. I kissed his hole, like he kissed mine days before. I grabbed his cheeks and they were driving me crazy. I wanted to inhale them, chew on them, swallow them, kiss them, bite them. I licked my precum from around his hole and kept moisturising with my saliva, licking that pure hole like the best desert I´ve ever had. I rimmed him with so much passion and grace, that he moved a bit forward and leaned on the counter by the wall, putting his hands together leaning and spreading his legs. This was something I wish I took a picture of, print it in high quality and huge size and put it on the ceiling on top of my bed (or even attach it here to the text for you all to see). There is nothing hotter than Frank in white office shirt, his legs spread and his bare ass. This image should be illegal!

I rimmed him for so long, so good with so much love that there was nothing else to do than to stand up and fix him for the first time (and very probably, the last time).

I ripped the plastic Durex packet and took out the red condom in it. I put it on my dick and positioned the head of it at his hole. I grabbed his cheeks and spread them with much strength that allowed me to see clearly where I´m pointing out. I entered……

It was something I couldn´t describe in human language. Having my dick in Frank´s ass was one in a lifetime adventure. He was hot from the inside, almost burning. I was already aware that this won´t last too much. I grabbed his hips with my palms and pushed all the way in. He groaned so loud that my dick throbbed in him almost exploding. I don´t know why, but I love so much that he felt pain. He started hitting his left fist in the counter´s surface holding his head down reaching its surface with his forehead. It was amazing to be inside him and see him, even then, trying to be the big ass male, but he was only speaking pain through his body language. I couldn´t resist like him to wait with my dick inside him and not move. I felt like I was very close to cum, so I might´ve as well had the chance to fuck him a bit before cumming. So as I grabbed his hips, I started moving mine slowly back and forth. Every move was like a butter on the hot toast. I was melting inside him, my crotch was crying of pleasure, my hands stopped shaking and I was almost reciting prays in my mind. Frank you, beautiful soul, I´m fucking you right now! Yes!!!!

As I said earlier, I didn´t last not two minutes. I fucked him a very bit till I felt that the tip of my dick was burning so I took my dick out, threw away the condom from it and shot it back in his ass, cumming like I wanted my sperm to reach in throat for him to swallow it back to his stomach. I pound my body in his ass for me to finish cumming inside him. I was so happy that finally he´ll carry my sperm in his body and probably will give it back to me next time he fucks me. But that next time wasn´t far at all. I took my dick out, and exhaled one time so deep I could hear myself in echo. He then, turns his body towards me, leaning his body on the counter.

“Are you done?” he asks lustfully. I nod my head as I was there bent, supporting my body with the hands onto my knees. He then with a very easy move, grabs my arm, rotates me with strength that it almost hurt, and there we are by magic. My ass was already in front of his dick. Fuck!

He spits in his hand, wets his dick, grabs my hips and pounds his alarm in me. He destroyed my ass again and again. He always destroys my ass. It always takes time for me to heal after him. He fucked me, from slow to fast, but with very confident pounds hitting his body in my ass. I leaned my head on his shoulder and let him fuck me as longer as he wanted, as hard as he wanted.

“Fuck me…”, I say feeling dizziness embracing my whole bady. I felt his dick reaching my belly button. I felt his dick destroying the walls of my intestines. I felt his dick being King Kong on my New York city skyscrapers.

“Don´t……. you….. fucking…….dare……… to……… tell…….me…….you…..want……to……..end…….it,………” he said as he slapped his dick in my ass holding my hands tied behind my back. I felt like a whore who´s destined to fulfil her master. I wanted to scream uncontrollably, act up like a cheesy porn star who screams for the sake of screaming. But I wanted!!!! You´d want it too if Frank was fucking you!!!!

“Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!” I repeated tens and tens of times as he didn´t rush to cum in me at all. He had a great control over his dick and his deposit of cum. He was determined no to cum yet. I´ve hurt him with my words so he was making sure he´d torture me a hundred times more.

He stopped, bent himself and me a bit, grabbed one of my leg and then the other one and lifted them up to the sides. He was holding me with all my weight with my legs spread and fucked me in the air. It was amazing, I didn´t care about gravity anymore, he got me. I had only to focus about one thing: his dick entering my hole. Butterflies were drilling my stomach.

I could see us in the mirror of my closet right across the room. We were so erotic, so professional at fucking with grace. I could see in the reflection his big dick going in and out my ass and his big hairy balls hitting my crotch everytime he´d hit. My legs were spread in the air and his leg muscles so flexed with every single pound I´d take in my ass and him breathing hot air in my ear.

He came in me! He came in me! He came in me!!!

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! My goooood! Fuck, this is too good!!! ” He let me down once he started cumming. I knelt in front of him and he was shooting loads on my eyelids on my forehead, on my cheeks, on my lips, on my neck, on my chest, on the floor, in my hair, every-fucking-where!!!! How much sperm can one have in his body, for Christ´s sake???????

I grabbed his dick and put it in my mouth. It was throbbing and I fixed it. I calmed it down with my tongue and lips.

“Mark, oh Mark, oh Mark, oh Mark!” , he kept repeating whispering.

We all know what this interjections mean….

I stood up in front of him, undid his shirt buttons, undressed him and kissed him with all the love I had in my body. I wanted him to feel all the cum he´d spilled on me. There was sperm leaking down my forehead from my hair. I kissed him with all the cum I had all over my face and he was not bothered by that at all. He loved it kissing me on all the spots on my face not covered by cum.