Past & future, FAQ

Hey! So since alot of people are still wondering what happened between me and North right after the major I figured I would shed some light on what happened. This was at a time my confidence level was so low that I didn't believe in myself. I had never experienced traveling for so much time (never being home). This kind of thing was surreal and when I think back at it, that was the worst decision I ever made.





Not because I left, but that I didn't even try to fix the things I had problems/struggled with - I took the easiest way out and that was to just quit and think that was worth it.

And that's partly what I have learned about myself this year, that even though you miss being home, you miss other things, you should respect it as a normal job, you should respect that you are so lucky that you have the possibility of earning money and playing the game you love for so many years.

I didn't just put myself in a bad position either, I put the team in a bad position ( I was selfish, short-sighted and thought that all would be good).

This is of course easy to say in hindsight, but we're all human, we make mistakes and I made a wrong choice and that is something I have to live with all my life, but I've learned from it - and that's the most important thing.





After all of this, in comes dignitas. I gotta be honest, I'm so glad they gave me a second chance, but also dissapointed in myself that the lineups we had couldn't achieve more than we did.

We had a lot of lineups after a few months, but we couldn't make things work out. It was tough to realise, especially knowing all the players involved gave it their all.



The upside of all of it though was that I found my inner will again! I found the motivation, I found new reasons to why I should continue and sacrifice everything to again hope getting further!

That fact that dignitas let me stand-in for Astralis is the best thing a organisation has ever done for me, and they should have all respect and love for that.

Also that Astralis were brave enough to ask me and take me in with open arms, I had a fantastic time there as well. And from my time in that team I really started to remember what top CS is all about.



So what I want to say here is: You have your ups & downs - everything is about how you handle it! Don't take the easiest way, be a man and fight through the hard times, because it will be worth it.



Also I hope 2018 will be the year where I come back to a more well-structured team and hard work, because I'm more than ready to give 120% of myself again!



Reply · Report Post