Shots of Paper Into Trash Can Now to be Met with Moment of Silence

LOS ANGELES — The traditional office space callout of “Kobe” when shooting a wadded up ball of paper into a waste basket will now be replaced with a moment of silence following the tragic death of NBA all-star, Kobe Bryant, earlier today.

“Crinkling up old expense reports into a ball and yelling out ‘Kobe’ as I tossed them over that one part of the table in the reception area was the closest I have ever, and probably will ever come to doing anything remotely athletic in my entire life,” said local data entry clerk, Danny Brooks. “But now, when I miss 100% of the shots I attempt to make into the trash can while I’m avoiding work, it’s just not gonna be the same. I’ll be sure to take a moment to respect one of the greatest to ever play the game.”

At press time, Brooks assured those around him that the last 20 shots he made “didn’t count” as “the wind must have carried it, or something.”