What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Reading.

What historical figure do you most identify with?

Santa Claus.

Which word or phrases do you most overuse?

"Chthonic,” “miasma.”

What is your favorite occupation?

Squishing paint on a senseless canvas.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

The ability to return books.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

The ability to burp on command.

What is your motto?

“What” is my motto.