Justin Ricklefs

“You’re going to kill me, I’m pregnant.”

I’ll never forget those words. She was 23, we were still newlyweds, and we had no money to our name. Heck, I didn’t even have my college diploma yet.

We hugged, laughed, cried, prayed, and promised we’d stick together through the journey.

That moment of anxiety then is a moment we look back on with fondness now.

A moment of confusion then, one of gratefulness now.

A moment of overwhelm then, one of joy now.

Something shifted that day. A change happened. An identity was born.

She became a mother. And she’s never been the same.

That pregnancy is now our precious middle-schooler. And that middle-schooler has four younger siblings.

Throughout the last 12 years of her mothering, I’ve seen these 10 truths of motherhood emerge:

1. Wisdom is greater than knowledge.

As parents, we all encourage our kids to learn. Facts are great, but wisdom is better. When I overhear her teaching, shaping, and molding these little hearts, I see how much better wisdom is than simple knowledge.

2. Being last is normal.

Whether it’s getting ready, getting to eat, or getting in line, she’s always last. She puts everyone else first.

3. Her work is never done.

There’s no such thing as downtime as a mom. Sure, there are date nights, trips with friends, and glasses of red wine after the kids are asleep. But there’s never a way to divorce oneself from the mental role of mom. Her work is never done.

4. Love is the secret weapon.

No parenting book, class, or well-intentioned friend could fully prepare her for being a mom. She had to learn it herself. And her greatest ally all these years? Love.

5. The fight is for their hearts.

Parenting is a street fight—it’s tough and gritty. The easy thing to do would be to let them do whatever they want, but we all know how that would end. The hard, worthwhile thing to do is fight for their hearts.

6. These are the best days.

She has this phrase posted in our home. There is a temptation to miss the days gone by or hope for the days to come. But neither of those is reality. The momma in our home is reminding us the only promised day is today.

7. Worry doesn’t impact the outcome.

By nature, at least when it comes to our kids, she’s a worrier. In an age of social media, peer pressure, and overwhelming expectations, our kids have their work cut out for them. But as a mom, she’s realizing her work isn’t to worry for them; worry never impacts the outcome. Instead, her job is to whisper in their ear and remind them they can do it.

8. Trust has to come first.

As our older children have gotten into the “tween” stage, our roles as parents have shifted a bit. We’re not doing it perfectly, but we’re coming alongside them more than we’re directly telling them what to do. Momma has modeled that in order for it to work, they must trust us. In order for them to open up and talk to us, trust comes first.

9. Each season gets better.

She used to hold on with a white-knuckled grip to their babyhood. Thinking that was the most precious time of being a mom. But as our kids have grown, it’s been beautiful to watch her usher in each new season with grace and anticipation, because each one has gotten better.

10. Motherhood is honorable.

She’ll never take the credit, seek the praise, or ask for the glory. She’ll simply keep doing the work. Motherhood, what an honor.