A Husband’s View

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A Husband’s View

This story is being told from a husband’s view. It was the morning of April 10, 2014. I am sitting nervously in the lobby of the doctor’s office, My wife, Michelle was in having a mammogram. We had been made aware of a suspicious lump in Michelle’s left breast during a routine examination at a clinic. Almost as if I already knew the outcome of the mammogram, I fumbled around with my phone, counted each and every person that made their way through the front door, every song that played over the intercom system. Even looking for images in each puffy cloud that passed overhead. Anything to try and pass the time or at least distract my mind from racing into a premature panic. After all, I have always had the tendency of borrowing trouble two weeks in advance of nothing! Oh, and I still had just enough room in my big head for guilt. Guilt because I was not in the examination room with my wife. But it wasn’t allowed for men to be back in the examination area. It didn’t matter, I still felt the guilt. After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor’s office door opens. If I live 1,000 years, I will never forget that look on Michelle’s face. I instantly began shedding tears as I saw the devastating look in her eyes. She somehow managed to walk over to me and eek out the words “baby, I have breast cancer.” We both completely lost it right there in the lobby. After several minutes of embracing each other and trying to come to grip with the news that undoubtedly would change our lives forever, we quietly headed out to our car. It must have been 75 degrees outside. But it might as well have been 75 below zero, as we were both numb to everything around. Heads were spinning as hardly a word was said on the way home. There was an appointment made with the oncologist for the next day. Michelle, her mother and I met with the oncologist that next morning and she proceeded with more examinations of her own. another confirmation has just been realized. The oncologist stated that she was 99.9% sure that Michelle had cancer. We were quickly whisked over to the financing and scheduling department to begin the paperwork for assistance. At this point I just wanted to scream and throw a childlike temper tantrum after seeing the horror in Michelle’s face. I would have done anything short of harming another human being just to have all of this to go away! Our heads were spinning out of control as we were jolted from one office to another the whole morning. All the while, trying to make decisions as to how we were going to spend our lives over the next several months. That afternoon while Michelle’s mother took her for a biopsy, I spent my time either losing it, or trying to apply for any type of government assistance with the help of my brother-in-law. We all knew immediately that this was not going to be any time to worry about our foolish pride in not wanting to accept help. We were headed straight for the battle of my wife’s precious life!