Everyone likes to say that 3TEETH is a great band, but, c'mon. Do you really think they blasted to industrial fame so easily? Especially touring with Tool? No one gets that famous. Not in this scene. There was a certain kind of black magic at hand. A hairy kind of black magic. The kind of black magic that landed on the face of 3TEETH's frontman Alexis Mincolla. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, 3TEETH really rose to fame and power because of Mincolla's Magical Mustahce or, as I like to call it, Triple M. That being said, I was recently able to transcribe an interview between myself and Triple M that I did over the phone last night. Read on to find out more about Triple M and why he chose industrial music as his playground.





Hey there Triple M! Nice to have you on the site! How is your day going?





Triple M: Oh, it goes. Alexis just got done grooming and oiling me, so I'm fine with that. You wouldn't believe how many goth and metal chicks ask to pet me. I try to say no, but they're cute so I allow it. Sometimes I allow the men. I always allow the transvestites to touch me, though. I like mystery.





So, tell me, why did you choose Alexis Mincolla's face to sit yourself on?





Triple M: What are you, an idiot? Have you seen Mincolla's face before? The man is fucking sexy.





But why not any of the other members?





Triple M: They were all viable options. But I needed one host, Mincolla being that. The rest are slaves. I sometimes have them shampoo me during the middle of rehearsal because I'm glorious and they need to understand that. Andrew has some pretty wicked facial hair and the like, so he's pretty good at taking care of me. I prefer him the most.





So, did you choose the industrial route or was that the band's choice?





Triple M: It was my choice originally. I have a long and ancient history of destroying people's lives. I thought to myself, "Hey, I have a new host and he's pretty good at this music making thing. I wonder what genre I could get him into that would completely and utterly destroy his life forever..." And. Bam. Industrial. I mean, who the fuck makes money off of that genre anymore? No one. But somehow they were able to make it. I'll have to find another way to sabotage them.





Wait, you said you have a long and ancient history? How long have you been alive?





Triple M: Far too long. I've been attached to many faces.





Anyone really notable?





Triple M: Myself? No. My mother and father? Well...They got a divorce. Sometime in the 1940s. My father decided to attach himself to some douche name Adolf something or another and my mother went on to some communist leader somewhere. Anyway, they fought each other for a while, destroyed half the world, and now I don't know where they are. I hope they're doing well. If you see me at any of the shows, don't be afraid to say hi mom and dad!





Okay, back to the subject at hand. How much of the music making process are you involved in when 3TEETH writes/rehearses/produces their sound?





Triple M: Every. Single. Bit. I infect Alexis' mind. He'll have this really genius idea such as, "If we just became a radio pop band, we could make millions!" but then I stop him and I'm like, "No, you won't. You're going to write industrial music for the rest of your life and you will enjoy it." He doesn't. It makes me laugh.





Don't you think that's a little mean?





Triple M: I don't have emotions. I don't know what mean is. What are emotions? What is love?





What would happen if Alexis tried to shave you off?





Triple M: I would blow up the Earth.





I think you should go into counseling.





Triple M: I think you should fuck off.





Okay. You're getting hostile.





Triple M: You call this hostile? I'll show you hostile. I'll make you my slave. We didn't write the song "SLAVEGOD" for nothing.





I'm uncomfortable.





Triple M: Maybe you should leave.





I think I'm going to.





Triple M: Good. Sleep with the lights on tonight. I'll be watching you, you sweet little thing.