This is basically what I sent back to my Secret Santa gifter, pasted here:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Pardon my French, but holy shit. Holy. Shit. Holyyyyyy shit. I don't care how cheesy this sounds, but you made my Christmas. Well, I'm Jewish, so you technically made my Hannukah... okay, you made my friggin Holiday Season!!! Wow. I understand wanting to hide behind the "secret" part of "secret santa" but if you ever tell me your username I will RES tag you with "upvote every comment and link this user posts".

From the bottom of my heart thank you. A+ stalking by the way. 10/10. 5 stars. You must be a wizard. I mean, you somehow pick out the perfect shirt size (which I can't even do for myself by myself!), and that Rock-It speaker is so cool, and I would have been already overjoyed at those gifts but nooooo, you just have to go and nominate yourself for the Nobel Prize for Being Awesome by getting me the one record which I haven't been able to find for a reasonable price for my poor just-graduated self. Goddamn you noble beast of presents, if I knew what you looked like in real life my next paycheck would go towards a professional painting of you to hang up in my room.

Thank you thank you thank you, and like the album which I will now go enjoy, take care, take care, take care. You are awesome and I love you.