So there you are, lying in bed with a beautiful, naked woman.

Before you speak, pounce, or babble incoherently, remember this: Not all compliments are created equal.

And any woman gracious enough to bare her glorious body in your presence deserves more than a perfunctory “You’re so hot” between love grunts. If you don’t believe me—the Men’s Health Girl Next Door—listen to the 2,000-plus women we surveyed.

“Sometimes words can sound really cheesy and hard to believe,” said one. Actions are more believable: “If he can't keep his hands off you, I think that's the biggest compliment, really.”

Related: The 30 Hottest Things to Say to a Naked Woman

And here’s another thing: The survey confirmed that many of us have insecurities, and most of us love frequent, enthusiastic compliments.

This has been proved conclusively in recent studies in the burgeoning field of relationship psychology.

In fact, among the 19 recognized mate-retention tactics, “love and care” is paramount, says Aaron Goetz, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychology at California State University at Fullerton.

“The biggest part of the love-and-care tactic is complimenting your partner’s physical appearance.”

Simple enough, right? Follow these rules to give that beautiful naked woman all the love and care she deserves.

Related: The Best Things to Say before, During, and After Sex

Don’t just say it like you mean it—actually mean it

Evolutionary psychologists have shown that women are programmed to be skeptical of what you say.

It’s their way of protecting themselves from manipulative men who don’t want to commit to relationships.

Your move Avoid exaggerating. Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., a licensed psychotherapist and the author of Getting the Sex You Want, says the more a compliment is tailored to that specific woman, the more intimate and effective it is.

“Use sensory words, like, ‘Your breasts are so soft,’ ‘I love the way you smell,’ ‘I love the sound of your voice,’” she says. “The more detailed your praise, the more personal it is to her—it shows her that you derive pleasure from her body, not just from any naked body.”

Our survey Women said they enjoy compliments about their breasts. Some of their favorites: “They fit your body perfectly” (Andrea, 26). “Your nipples are so hot. I’m so turned on when I see them get hard” (Courtney, 29). “They feel so good against my chest” (Sheri, 24).

Related: 4 Women-Approved Secrets About Breasts

If she has to ask how she looks, it’s too late

“Compliments lose credibility when they’re paid in response to a statement of insecurity,” says Robin Kowalski, Ph.D., a professor of psychology who studies interpersonal communication at Clemson University.

It doesn’t matter how thoroughly you believe she looks off-the-charts sexy in her new satin negligee—if she has to ask, she won’t believe your answer.

Your move Note changes to her appearance: new haircut, different down-there grooming. Her efforts are a common mate-retention tactic, Goetz says. So if she’s been going to the gym, admire her flat belly or strong legs.

Our survey That belly was by far the touchiest subject for women. If there’s any sign of the dreaded “chub,” ignore it.

If it's flat ... “Lay your head against it and tell me it’s your favorite place in the world” (Carrie, 25). "Say, ‘Wow, those core workouts have really paid off!’” (Dawn, 25).

Realted: How Nice Guys Can Impress Women

If it’s worth saying once, it’s worth repeating

Women are more aware than men are of compliments given and received, according to a 2004 study. “Women see compliments as a way to grow closer to their partners,” says study author Eve-Anne Doohan, Ph.D., an assistant professor of communication studies at the University of San Francisco.

Your move Keep giving, whether she’s fully clothed, stark naked, or anywhere in between. “You can never tell a woman too many times that she’s beautiful,” Nelson says. “It reassures her that you still feel an emotional connection with her.”

Our survey Urgency works. When we asked women about the most memorable compliments they’d received, we saw countless variations (many of them X-rated) of “I want you right now.”

“The hottest thing a guy ever said to me was that he wanted to be inside me right now” (Tamara, 24). Another said, “I’ve wanted this for so long” (Amanda, 30).

Related: 11 Reasons Women Look Gorgeous without Makeup

Bring another man to bed—in spirit, anyway

Relay some other guy’s observation about her. It’s unfair, but compliments from others are often more believable than compliments from you. See, she expects you to gush, Kowalski says, but “the third party has no vested interest. That’s what gives it believability.”

Your move Tell her she’s beautiful, and then say, “Hey, listen to this ...” and follow up with a kind word from someone else. Don’t tell her your buddy thinks she’s hot—she might feel like an object or a prize. Instead, mention a friend who noticed her poise or pretty smile.

Our survey Women were most self-conscious about their bellies, butts, and breasts—in that order. If you know her weak spot, don’t say anything. “Just kiss me there. It will help me know you find my body sexy” (Jeannie, 32).

Related: What Men (and Women) Really Think about Women’s Bodies

When she’s naked and vulnerable, bare your soul

The most memorable and flattering compliments arise from genuine emotions.

In Doohan’s study, 163 people in romantic relationships were asked to recall the most significant compliment they’d ever received. The ones they cited were mostly about the importance of the person or the relationship, rather than about physical attributes.

“When you talk about feelings,” Doohan says, “you're not just going through the motions.”

Your move Make sure she knows how happy or excited you are to be in bed with her.

Simple appreciation is more memorable than waxing poetic about her curves.

Our survey General compliments or grateful silence can work, if you’re also drinking her in with your eyes or exploring her curves with your hands.

“A sharp intake of breath is enough to show me he appreciates my body” (Brenda, 25).

Can’t handle the quiet? Take this advice from Chloe, 20: “Nothing can beat a softly whispered ‘Wow, you’re so beautiful!’”

Show Her this List and Unleash Her Fantasies

572 women tell us what single items feel sexiest to leave on when stripping down

1 = Boring

10 = Hot

Hat: 2

Necklace: 6.5

Bra: 6.3

Panties: 8

Skirt: 5.1

Camisole: 6.3

Socks: 1.5

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