Shash

You know, Skyrim is, at least by my humble opinion responsible for 1 breakup every few days. Its one of those things you know - the ones you store non-perishable food, divorce your wife, put your kids and pets for adoption for. So anyway, instead of arguing about it, me and my girlfriend, decided to do something about it.(she was with the camera)



The Fresh Guard of Riften

Now, this is a story all about howMy life got flipped-turned upside downAnd I'd like to take a minuteJust sit right thereI'll tell you how I became the guard of a town called RiftenIn west Tamriel born and raisedOn the archery range was where I spent most of my daysChillin' out maxin' relaxin' all coolAnd all shootin some x-bows outside of the innWhen a couple of elvesWho were up to no goodStartin making trouble in my neighborhoodI got in one little fight and my mom got scaredAnd said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Riften'I begged and pleaded with her day after dayBut she packed my armor and send me on my wayShe gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.I put my helm on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.First trip, yo this is badThe cold is freezing my gonads.Is this what the people of Riften Living like?Hmmmmm this can't be alright.But wait I hear there're tricky, thieves and all thatIs this the type of place that they should send this cool cat?I don't think soI'll see when I get thereI hope they're prepared for the hero of RiftenWell, I crossed the border and when I looked aroundThere was an elf who looked like a cop standing there with his bow outI ain't trying to get shot yet but too lateAlas, he got my knee hereand sprang with the quickness like lightning - disappearedI whistled for a wagon and when it came nearThe license plate said fresh and it had arrows in the rearIf anything I can say that this wagon was rareBut I thought 'Nah forget it' - 'Yo homes to Riften'I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'I looked at my kingdomI was finally thereTo sit on my throne as the Guard of Riften