Resemble What You’ve Dreamed: The Tzimisce

Vampire: The Masquerade

Last Clan this week for Lore of the Clans! I won’t post anything over the weekend or on Monday, which should give people time to catch up before the final push.

Today we present the Tzimisce, written by Joshua Doetsch. Josh is a bit under in each section. I have some thoughts on what to include, but I’d like to hear what you have to say. I’ll close comments on this one on Friday, September 12th. I’ll put a big note on the document and this post when I close it so it’s clear.

Before I give you the link, a few things to keep in mind as you read:

Discuss, but be polite: A few people are confusing “expressing concern” with “insulting the people working on this project.” If you are concerned about something, please express those concerns concretely — I do want to hear them. If you veer into insulting the writer or Onyx Path Publishing, I’ll ask you politely to stop (which, so far, is all I’ve needed to do). Anything after that, I’ll shut the conversation down and move on.

Keep calm and carry on: This is a preliminary draft. Things will likely change between this draft and the final book. If you see something weird or that you don’t agree with, don’t freak out. Just comment on the concerning area, and I’ll look into it. That’s exactly what this process is for.

Comments only, please: Everyone (except me) is restricted to comments only and suggestions. Please use comments only, and do not write your opinions into the draft text. Don’t resolve someone else’s comments or mine, either.

Substance over style: I’m focusing purely on the content, not punctuation or grammar. That kind of refinement of the material will happen in a later draft. Don’t worry too much about commenting on those concerns, unless such an error makes the material confusing to understand.

Cards close to my chest: Because I don’t want to bias the discussion, I’m keeping my thoughts on how I want to redline this chapter to myself. I’ll certainly answer questions and help steer conversation away from unproductive avenues, but in general I want to see what you think, not tell you what I think.

And now, here’s the link to the Google Doc:

Edit: Link removed now that open development is closed. Thank you!