The East Coast is about to be hammered by a major snowstorm called Winter Storm Jonas. Now, personally, I don't remember when we started naming blizzards as if they were hurricanes. Didn't people just use to identify them by the year? Like that time at Thanksgiving your dad said, "Oh, I'll never forget the blizzard of ’78. That was the weekend your mother and I got cooped up at the cabin with only a fire and a bearskin rug to keep us warm..." (It turns out we started doing this in 2012.) Anyway, I guess we're naming winter storms now, and I say great! So long as they continue to be named after Weezer songs, as I assume Winter Storm Jonas was.

This is fitting, because like winter storms, Weezer songs are mostly awesome, often really fun, and once in a while completely destructive and dangerous. (I spent basically the first two years of high school listening to Pinkerton instead of, you know, talking to other people.) So I figured I'd help The Weather Channel out and prepare a list of Weezer songs they should name future winter storms after. Okay, here we go:

Winter Storm Say It Ain't So: Perfect, because it also captures the spirit of the people hearing about it. I bet that's good for a winter-storm name.

Perfect, because it also captures the spirit of the people hearing about it. I bet that's good for a winter-storm name. Winter Storm Buddy: Everyone loves their buddy. That'd probably be comforting.

Everyone loves their buddy. That'd probably be comforting. Winter Storm Holly: Perfect for a Christmastime snowstorm.

Perfect for a Christmastime snowstorm. Winter Storm El Scorcho: Delightfully ironic, which would distract people from the stress of going to the store and fighting people for loaves of bread.

Delightfully ironic, which would distract people from the stress of going to the store and fighting people for loaves of bread. Winter Storm Hash Pipe: Reminds people of something they'll want to make sure they have to get through the storm happily.

Reminds people of something they'll want to make sure they have to get through the storm happily. Winter Storm Run Away: It's probably good that people remember they have options other than sitting through the storm. Also reminds people that Hurley wasn't as bad as people said it was.

It's probably good that people remember they have options other than sitting through the storm. Also reminds people that Hurley wasn't as bad as people said it was. Winter Storm The Greatest Man That Ever Lived: Because who better to name something after.

Because who better to name something after. Winter Storm Cleopatra: A great woman from history and a great way to remember that late-era Weezer was seriously better than you've heard. In fact...

-Winter Storm Everything Will Be Alright in the End: Sure, it's an album title instead of a song, but won't that be the most comforting storm name anyone's ever heard? Also, it's a good album!

So there you have it, Weather Channel. Your next nine winter storms are already pre-named.