The dinosaurs won, because the dinosaurs always win. But more on the dinosaurs in a minute.

I was in Baltimore this weekend, for Easter with my lunatic in-laws. The kids were thrilled and sugared up, filling baskets with chocolate bunnies and plastic eggs—and, for the first time in their lives, Peeps. Have you ever seen a person eat his or her first Peep? It’s like watching somebody discover they can eat a doorknob.

I...