Florida Woman Transforming Herself Into a “Family of Seals”

MIAMI, Florida –

A lot of people want to change themselves, whether it’s getting boob implants or changing their sex, but Florida woman, Cindi Parker, is taking personal transformation to a place all her own: she wants to become a “family of seals” — literally.

“I just adore seals, specifically seal familes,” Parker said. “When I was a kid I’d watch seal families and I told myself one day I’m going to become a family of seals.”

This desire sent parker on a journey to raise money for plastic surgery, but she ran into money problems. At the time she sought surgery, she only had $95 dollars to her name.

“No plastic surgeon would take me because they thought I was crazy, but I knew if I could give them a bunch of money they would not be able to resist and would turn me into a family of seals,” Parker said. “Money talks, bullshit walks as my grandpa used to say.”

She recently had a Kickstarter campaign where she asked for $100,000 and received $0.

“I don’t think I marketed right on Kickstarter, because I know people would have loved to help me if more would have seen it,” Parker said.

There’s another twist, Parker is close to four months pregnant and believes God has impregnated her with a baby seal.

“I prayed night after night for 18 months and one day my belly just started growing. I’m still a virgin, so God had to have given me a baby seal as I requested. I know it’s not a human. I can feel its flippers kicking inside me.”

Parker eventually envisions herself as a large seal with a husband and three baby seals, all alive with distinct personalities, growing out of her body.

“Science can like send people to mars and stuff like that. Why can’t science turn me into a family of seals?” Parker asked. “They totally can.”

In the meantime, Parker paints her face and belly to look like seals and carries around a stuffed seal she has named Rosanne.

“Dressing up like I do is not the same as the real deal, but it’s getting me through until I get the money for surgery,” Parker said.

Parker is now trying to raise funds through private donations. You can send an email to reach out to her.