You know you’re getting paranoid when you second-guess your alarm clock but there’s too many things that don’t work for me as far as terrorism and Islam and everything else I’m supposed to so readily believe.

Ok, we’ve got that allegedly Muslim group ISIS and they are, of course, terrorists. Now, terrorism is naturally a matter of perspective. Few people would sign up for a terrorist group if it were named “Terrorist Group” and the type of people that would join a thusly named group nobody would want.

So to even form a terrorist group, it would be necessary to convince your prospective members that you’re something else. “Freedom Fighters” perhaps or “revolutionaries“. Maybe you could say that you’re “settlers” or “pilgrims“. You might even call yourselves “colonizers” and dress up your actions in fancy-sounding words like “Manifest Destiny“.

Whatever.

The point is, there has to be a clear line between “us” and “them”. This brings me to my problem with so-called Islamic terror. Were no Muslims ever killed in an Islamic terror attack? Because certainly, the killing of fellow Muslims was expressly forbidden by Muhammad himself in Hadith 14 which states, “It is not permissible to spill the blood of a Muslim except in three [instances]: the married person who commits adultery, a life for a life, and the one who forsakes his religion and separates from the community.”

Therefore, those carrying out these acts of Islamic terror must either be warning all observant Muslims to avoid the areas that are intended targets or the terrorists can’t really be Muslims.

This grim reality causes two immediate problems: if Muslims are being warned, why aren’t they telling the rest of us? We are, after all, neighbors now. Forewarning that I’m about to be blown to bits could only be considered neighborly.

But, if the terrorist aren’t really Muslims, exactly who the fuck are they?

Most of us scoffed at the notion that 9/11 was an inside job despite evidence of controlled demolition and the fact that every elementary school child knows that heat rises, so an airplane hitting the upper floors of a building would cause the most damage to the floors it hit and those above it and not, as it did, cause the building to collapse from below.

Now we’ve got a terror attack in Paris that ISIS just couldn’t wait to rush and take credit for.

Paris is one of those cities currently “overrun” with immigrants, many Arab and North African, chickens returned home to roost from France’s days as a colonial power. And we’re supposed to believe that these new immigrants, unlike their American counterparts of 100 years before, don’t simply want to blend in quietly and assimilate, but actually want to blow the place up.

And “religion”, they’re saying, is the cause.

Doesn’t make sense.

After all, it was neither the Quran nor a Hadith that said, “Thou shalt not bow down to their gods, nor serve them, nor do after their works: but thou shalt utterly overthrow them, and quite break down their images.”

That was Exodus 23:24.

From, you know, the Bible.