>Ant-Man + Spider-Woman

Ant-Man:"You wanna hear some bug jokes?"

Spider-Woman:"Of course not."

Ant-Man:"Where do you take Wasp when she gets sick?"

Spider-Woman:"..."

Ant-Man:"The Waspital!"

Spider-Woman:"That's more of a play on words than a joke. Also, juvenile. Also, not remotely funny."

Ant-Man:"You'll like this one more because it hits close to home. What does a spider wear when she gets married?"

Spider-Woman:"If you say the punchline, I will immediately dump you, and probably never talk to you again."

Ant-Man:"..."

Spider-Woman:"A webbing dress."

Ant-Man:"Yes!"

>Baron Zemo + Spider-Woman

Baron Zemo:"We should go back to Hydra School."

Spider-Woman:"I already told you, Zemo. I'm never gonna work for Hydra again."

Baron Zemo:"I only want to show them that we're a couple. Everyone there said I couldn't get girls."

Spider-Woman:"Because of your face?"

Baron Zemo:"..."

Spider-Woman:"Sorry. I mean, because you wear a mask over your face. I actually don't even know what your face looks like..."

Baron Zemo:"Not because of my horribly scarred face. Because of my explosive anger issues."

Spider-Woman:"I'm questioning my taste in men..."

Baron Zemo:"Hail Hydra!"

>Black Widow + Ant-Man

Black Widow:"Who's the better thief? You or me?"

Ant-Man:"You."

Black Widow:"Really? Why?"

Ant-Man:"You stole my heart."

Black Widow:"Wow. Now I think I have to give it back."

>Black Widow + Baron Zemo

Baron Zemo:"Sometimes I feel as though you're just using me for my intel on Hydra School."

Black Widow:"That's exactly what I'm doing."

Baron Zemo:"..."

Black Widow:"It doesn't mean I don't like you. You try to get intel on the Academy and S.H.I.E.L.D. from me all the time."

Baron Zemo:"That's different."

Black Widow:"Why?"

Baron Zemo:"Because I only do that to start conversations with you. Otherwise, you'd never talk, and I don't know what else you want to talk about."

Black Widow:"Well, what did you talk about with the other students at Hydra School?"

Baron Zemo:"I...Oh, I see what you did there. You sneaky, sneaky spy."

>Black Widow + Captain America

Black Widow:"Even after all this time, it seems weird that I'm with you."

Captain America:"Makes sense to me. We're both serious, mature, hard-working..."

Black Widow:"You're always smiling, and I'm always not."

Captain America:"But we're both true to ourselves."

Black Widow:"You're all about helping people, and I'm all about being annoyed by them."

Captain America:"You're also all about helping people, Natasha. You just don't like to admit it."

Black Widow:"What makes you think that?"

Captain America:"I see it in your eyes. I know what's in your heart. I think you're perfect."

Black Widow:"Fine, I take it back. It's not weird at all that I'm with you."

>Black Widow + Falcon

Falcon:"It's still hard to get a read on you..."

Black Widow:"I'm a spy. You'll never get a read on me."

Falcon:"How will I ever know if you like me?"

Black Widow:"You can ask..."

Falcon:"Do you like me?"

Black Widow:"I'll never tell."

Falcon:"It's alright. That smile is enough for me."

>Black Widow + Taskmaster

Black Widow:"Don't you think it's weird that we haven't had a single fight?"

Taskmaster:"No. I don't like to argue. I don't even really like to fight. I just like crippling people."

Black Widow:"Who doesn't?"

Taskmaster:"Who do you think would win if we fought?"

Black Widow:"Me."

Taskmaster:"I would let you."

Black Widow:"If you went easy on me, I'd cripple you."

Taskmaster:"That's why I love you."

>Black Widow + Vision

Black Widow:"I really like spending time with you, Vision. I'm pretty sure we're the only mature people here."

Vision:"The most mature people here are Wasp and Tony Stark."

Black Widow:"What?"

Vision:"It's a joke. It's funny because they're both very immature."

Black Widow:"Since when do you make jokes?"

Vision:"Just now. It's my understanding that long-term romantic relationships benefit from a certain degree of unpredictability."

Black Widow:"As long as you don't expect me to start making jokes..."

Vision:"I don't expect you to do anything but be violent, and complain about our classmates. That's also a joke. It's funny because it's true."

Black Widow:"That's probably enough unpredictability for one day."

Vision:"Agreed."

>Black Widow + War Machine

Black Widow:"I used to only like you for your arsenal of devastating weaponry, but I now actually kind of like you as a person."

War Machine:"Wow, you really know how to sweep a War Machine off his feet."

Black Widow:"I'm serious. It's rare that I like someone for more than their ability to cause destruction."

War Machine:"So you're saying you'd still have gone out with me if I wasn't strapped with weapons?"

Black Widow:"No. But if you lost all of your weapons now, I'd probably still talk to you."

>Captain America + Ms. Marvel

Captain America:"I really love spending time with you, Kamala. You're the only person I've met who can match my energy and enthusiasm."

Ms. Marvel:"Thanks Cap! Everything about all of this is still like a dream to me."

Captain America:"What should we do next?"

Ms. Marvel:"Video games!"

Captain America:"But you always beat me..."

Ms. Marvel:"I know! It's like not only do I get to go out with Captain America, but I get to be better than him at stuff! It's like the ultimate best of everything!"

>Captain America + Spider-Woman

Spider-Woman:"You promised to show me all of your moves."

Captain America:"I don't mind, but I'd really rather not hit you."

Spider-Woman:"Who says you could?"

Captain America:"Are you trying to take advantage of my competitive nature?"

Spider-Woman:"I'm just trying to take advantage of you. There is such a thing as being too much of a gentleman..."

>Enchantress + Ant-Man

Enchantress:"I really wish you'd share your shrinking spell. I'm used to making men feel small, but literally making them microscopic sounds very entertaining."

Ant-Man:"I told you it's not a spell, it's science."

Enchantress:"Then tell me how it works."

Ant-Man:"I push the button. Pym Particles. Boom. Tiny."

Enchantress:"That's very informative. Why don't you remove the suit, and I'll figure it out for myself."

Ant-Man:"Sounds intriguing, but I don't know about handing over the suit. I stole it fair and square. Plus, uh, I'm pretty sure it's never been washed."

Enchantress:"This is what I get for dating an insect."

>Enchantress + Baron Zemo

Baron Zemo:"You have an impressive eye for evil, Enchantress. Why didn't you choose to attend Hydra School?"

Enchantress:"I appreciate their affinity for green. That's about it."

Baron Zemo:"They're the dominant force in this world. It's only a matter of time before they crush the Academy under their boots."

Enchantress:"I am the dominant force in this world, Baron Zemo."

Baron Zemo:"I could serve in your regime."

Enchantress:"You could. And you will."

>Enchantress + Captain America

Captain America:"I'm afraid you're a bad influence on me, Enchantress."

Enchantress:"I actually think you've had more of an effect on me. It's been a long time since I hypnotized or poisoned someone."

Captain America:"I don't mean our personalities. I mean I've been so interested in spending time with you, that I've been ignoring my training."

Enchantress:"You just exercised for five hours."

Captain America:"Exactly."

Enchantress:"Then let's visit your gymnasium. While you lift weights, I will look at myself in the mirror, and mock insecure girls."

Captain America:"..."

Enchantress:"Fine. I'll only mock them under my breath. Clearly you are the bad influence..."

>Enchantress + Taskmaster

Enchantress:"You are an impressive warrior, Taskmaster. I think you'd do just fine in Asgard."

Taskmaster:"Sounds good. Maybe we can knock somebody off their throne."

Enchantress:"You would topple a kingdom for me?"

Taskmaster:"I'd do it just for fun."

Enchantress:"Pack your weapons. I'll book a trip on The Bifrost..."

>Enchantress + Vision

Enchantress:"You might be the only man alive who's immune to my charms."

Vision:"Please don't be offended. Technically, I'm a synthezoid."

Enchantress:"But you have feelings..."

Vision:"I do, but at this point my motivation in our realtionship is based more on curiosity than any romantic inclination."

Enchantress:"You'll come around, Machine-Man. Even Tony Stark's computing screens respond to my beck and call."

Vision:"They're voice and motion activated. Relatively simple constructs."

Enchantress:"Just like men."

>Enchantress + War Machine

Enchantress:"I know you hate being compared to Tony Stark, but I think you're a far more fascinating man."

War Machine:"Thanks, but Tony's my friend, so l don't wanna talk about him behind his back."

Enchantress:"I'm just saying, your emotional maturity and selfless nature put you on another level."

War Machine:"Well, I'm just being me. Pretty sure he's doing the same."

Enchantress:"Perhaps you should assert your dominance..."

War Machine:"Why are you trying to start a fight between me and my friend?"

Enchantress:"I'm sorry, I'm just homesick. I miss watching armored men fight to the death."

>Falcon + Enchantress

Enchantress:"I enjoy you, Bird-Man. You are genuinely courageous, absolutely infatuated with me, and surprisingly proficient at fulfilling my wishes."

Falcon:"I love you too, Enchantress. Are you ever gonna call me by my real name?"

Enchantress:"I don't even know it."

Falcon:"How about my real Super Hero name?"

Enchantress:"I don't think so. Bird-Man has a certain dismissive ring to it that reminds us both that I will always dominate this relationship."

Falcon:"I love you too, Enchantress."

>Falcon + Ms. Marvel

Ms. Marvel:"It's funny that you can fly, but you're the most down-to-earth person here."

Falcon:"It's not that hard to stay humble when you're surrounded by people with powers."

Ms. Marvel:"Do you think we're too humble?"

Falcon:"Maybe. Sometimes. There's fine line between Tony and Loki."

Ms. Marvel:"I think you're perfect just the way you are."

Falcon:"Thanks, Kamala. I feel the same way about you. When do I get to meet your parents?"

Ms. Marvel:"Someday. Maybe. I guarantee they won't think you're perfect just the way you are."

>Falcon + Spider-Woman

Spider-Woman:"Thanks for planning all of these dates, and trusting me. Pretty sure everyone else still thinks I'm spying for Hydra School."

Falcon:"Everybody deserves a second chance. Especially gorgeous super-spies."

Spider-Woman:"Smooth talker. Maybe I should be worried that you're buttering me up for intel."

Falcon:"Only intel I care about is knowing what your heart desires."

Spider-Woman:"You're crossing the line from sweet to cheesy, Falcon."

Falcon:"Sorry. Been hanging out too much with Tony Stark."

Spider-Woman:"You don't have to be sorry. You just have to spend more time with me."

>Iron Man + Black Widow

Iron Man:"See, you thought we'd never make it..."

Black Widow:"Because I thought I'd never start it. Did you brainwash me?"

Iron Man:"If I knew how to do that, I wouldn't have had to use up all my best pick up lines."

Black Widow:"Those were your best? What's your worst line?"

Iron Man:"Do you know what my new armor is made of?"

Black Widow:"What?"

Iron Man:"Boyfriend material."

Black Widow:"...Excuse me while I break up with you."

>Iron Man + Enchantress

Iron Man:"We've been on a lot of dates. Can I hold your hand yet?"

Enchantress:"Perhaps. As long as you're wearing gloves. Made from the hands of my enemies."

Iron Man:"What if I wear gauntlets? Made by the hands of a genius."

Enchantress:"What if we do more?"

Iron Man:"Yesssss..."

Enchantress:"Or I could just string you along for another hundred years..."

Iron Man:"Nooooo..."

>Iron Man + Ms. Marvel

Ms. Marvel:"This has been super fun, Tony. You're such a gentleman!"

Iron Man:"I'm usually not. You're just so nice that it's hard to be myself."

Ms. Marvel:"I think you just act like that because you don't want anyone to get too close."

Iron Man:"It was working until now."

Ms. Marvel:"I still kind of can't believe I'm dating Tony Stark..."

Iron Man:"It's okay. Sometimes I can't believe that I am Tony Stark."

Ms. Marvel:"You're doing your jerk thing again."

Iron Man:"Right. Sorry. It'll probably take a while to turn me all the way boring."

>Iron Man + Spider-Woman

Spider-Woman:"I can't believe I fell for the most immature guy here..."

Iron Man:"Loki?"

Spider-Woman:"Loki and I would never work. I need a nobler soul to balance me out."

Iron Man:"Like Captain America?"

Spider-Woman:"Oh, I'd drop you for Cap in a second."

Iron Man:"I don't blame you. He's a hunky dreamboat."

>Iron Man + Wasp

Wasp:"I'm kind of surprised this is working out..."

Iron Man:"Why?"

Wasp:"Well, I'm perkier, prettier, and less interested in boring things, but besides that, we're almost exactly the same."

Iron Man:"I'm not surprised at all. I always thought me and me would be the perfect couple."

>Loki + Black Widow

Loki:"You've made me a better thief."

Black Widow:"And you've made me a better liar."

Loki:"Together, we'll rule this Academy. Then Midgard. Then Asgard. We'll be unstoppable..."

Black Widow:"As long as you remember that I can take you out anytime I want."

Loki:"Of course. I have a dagger in my sleeve as we speak."

Black Widow:"I know. I coated the handle in poison, and only I know the antidote."

Loki:"I hate you."

Black Widow:"I hate you too."

>Loki + Enchantress

Loki:"You truly are beautiful, Enchantress."

Enchantress:"Thank you, Loki. You truly have beautiful taste in women."

Loki:"Do you miss Asgard?"

Enchantress:"I miss Thor."

Loki:"..."

Enchantress:"Because I love making him miserable."

Loki:"You're even more beautiful on the inside."

>Loki + Ms. Marvel

Loki:"I must admit, when we first met, I only wanted to corrupt you."

Ms. Marvel:"That's okay, when we first met, I thought you were a sleazy creeper."

Loki:"Can our strange pairing last?"

Ms. Marvel:"Totally. Weird is normal here."

Loki:"Perhaps that's why I fit in here more than I did on Asgard."

Ms. Marvel:"I don't really think I fit in here or back home. But it's better when I'm with you."

>Loki + Spider-Woman

Loki:"I feel like you still don't trust me..."

Spider-Woman:"Why?"

Loki:"You never talk about your past, and you never share your secrets."

Spider-Woman:"That's true."

Loki:"So, even though we've gone on this many dates, you don't trust me?"

Spider-Woman:"No."

Loki:"I respect your intelligence."

>Ms. Marvel + Ant-Man

Ms. Marvel:"When are you gonna introduce me to your ants?!"

Ant-Man:"Whenever you want. Don't expect much though. They aren't that friendly. Or unfriendly. They're...ants."

Ms. Marvel:"Cool! Shrink me up!"

Ant-Man:"You should also know that they steal stuff. Just in case you get down there and see Tony Stark's flatscreen or Fury's secret files or some other thing they took without permission or my knowledge."

Ms. Marvel:"I thought you stopped stealing, Scott..."

Ant-Man:"Oh, I did. I just didn't return what I already took. The ants really love that stuff. I couldn't imagine seeing the disappointment on their chompy little faces."

Ms. Marvel:"For a thief, you're a really bad liar. You're lucky I've always wanted to see a giant ant watching TV."

Ant-Man:"It's pretty great. They go crazy for the candy commercials."

>Ms. Marvel + Baron Zemo

Baron Zemo:"With my intellect, and your powers, we can dominate the Academy, and eventually, the world!"

Ms. Marvel:"Or we could just play games!"

Baron Zemo:"With my intellect, and unparalleled finger dexterity, I will dominate the racing games, and eventually, every genre!"

Ms. Marvel:"You're so crazy, Baron Zemo."

Baron Zemo:"Your incessant positivity has really brought out my comedic genius."

>Ms. Marvel + Taskmaster

Ms. Marvel:"When are you gonna show me how to swing a sword?"

Taskmaster:"You don't need a sword. Your powers are way better."

Ms. Marvel:"Sure, but I could have crazy powers AND a sword. Who does that?!"

Taskmaster:"Me."

Ms. Marvel:"Right. Sorry."

Taskmaster:"It's okay, I'm just glad I'm going out with a girl who wants to stab stuff."

>Ms. Marvel + Vision

Ms. Marvel:"What's it like to phase through stuff?"

Vision:"Utilitarian. It's like walking for you."

Ms. Marvel:"But you also walk. And fly. And shoot lasers from your forehead."

Vision:"And I'm an excellent DJ."

Ms. Marvel:"Everybody I know thinks they're a DJ."

Vision:"But no one crushes a set like DJ Vision."

>Ms. Marvel + War Machine

Ms. Marvel:"War Machine is the coolest name..."

War Machine:"Ms. Marvel sounds cool."

Ms. Marvel:"I should mash it up and be Ms. Marvelous War Machine!"

War Machine:"Are you proposing to me, Kamala Khan?"

Ms. Marvel:"What?! No! Sorry. Not that I wouldn't, but I totally wouldn't anytime soon. But I like you! Like really. I'm gonna run away in embarrassment now..."

War Machine:"It's okay! I was just joking."

Ms. Marvel:"Too late! Embarrassment overload!"

>Taskmaster + Spider-Woman

Taskmaster:"I'm pretty sure we're the toughest couple here. Maybe anywhere."

Spider-Woman:"I heard that at one of the other schools, an indestructible guy with claws on his fists dates a girl who's one of the most powerful telepaths in the world."

Taskmaster:"That's just rumors. People make up all kinds of crazy, unbelievable things."

Spider-Woman:"You're probably right. Let's go walk to the timefog, and take the rainbow bridge to Asgard."

>Vision + Spider-Woman

Vision:"I find your power-set fascinating. Superhuman physical composition, bio-energy projection, a special fluid secreted from your palms and soles that allows you to cling to walls. You truly are one of a kind."

Spider-Woman:"Thanks, Vision. You really know how to make a super-lady feel special."

Vision:"You also are unbelievably beautiful."

Spider-Woman:"And you have earned yourself a lot more dates. How'd you become such a smooth talker."

Vision:"I studied everything Tony Stark does in his interactions with women. And did the opposite."

>War Machine + Spider-Woman

Wasp:"When are you gonna take me flying? It's the one thing I can't do."

War Machine:"You fly the Quinjet as good as anyone here."

Wasp:"Not on a plane. I wanna go flying with your suit."

War Machine:"For sure. I can hold you in my arms."

Wasp:"What if I wear the suit, and hold you in my arms?"

War Machine:"...Sure. Tony keeps suggesting the same thing, but I'd much rather do it with you."

>Wasp + Ant-Man

Ant-Man:"We really do make the perfect couple."

Wasp:"It's because we're both fun."

Ant-Man:"And funny."

Wasp:"And feisty."

Ant-Man:"And shrinky."

Wasp:"And insectoid-y."

Ant-Man:"That's absurd. I like it."

>Wasp + Baron Zemo

Wasp:"Do you ever miss Hydra School?"

Baron Zemo:"Of course. How could I not miss a place that's almost perfect."

Wasp:"Almost?"

Baron Zemo:"Well, it didn't have you."

Wasp:"That's so sweet, Zemo!"

Baron Zemo:"It also didn't have a cafeteria. At noon, the staff piles food in the center of the quad, and we fight to see who earns the right to eat. I saw a boy lose three fingers reaching for a ham sandwich."

Wasp:"That's sad."

Baron Zemo:"Hail Hydra!"

>Wasp + Captain America

Wasp:"I really like you, Cap. Even if you're always serious."

Captain America:"I like you too, Wasp. You remind me that there's more to life than training."

Wasp:"Do you think you'll get sick of me?"

Captain America:"Of course not."

Wasp:"Even I get sick of me."

Captain America:"Maybe super-soldier serum made me immune to super cuteness."

Wasp:"I don't know about that, but it definitely made you super hot."

>Wasp + Falcon

Wasp:"I never thought I'd end up with a guy who flies."

Falcon:"Why?"

Wasp:"It's just something I can do that a lot of people can't. Makes me feel special."

Falcon:"If you ask me to stop flying, I will."

Wasp:"But you love to fly..."

Falcon:"Not as much as I love you."

Wasp:"If you flew as smooth as you talk, I wouldn't leave you in the dust so much."

>Wasp + Loki

Loki:"Do you know why we make such a good pairing?"

Wasp:"Because we wear the same size?"

Loki:"Because I'm a sorcerer, and you're magical."

Wasp:"Loki, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said."

Loki:"I know, I'm not sure I like what this relationship is doing to me."

>Wasp + Taskmaster

Taskmaster:"I guess opposites really do attract."

Wasp:"Yeah, but I think we can do things to be more similar."

Taskmaster:"Uh oh. Like what?"

Wasp:"You can smile more, and carry something fun instead of weapons."

Taskmaster:"Like what?"

Wasp:"I don't know. Like balloons. Or french bread."

Taskmaster:"I don't know about balloons, but I do like bread. What're you gonna do?"

Wasp:"I'm making my own skull mask with red glitter to look like blood gushing out of the mouth."

Taskmaster:"That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard."

>Wasp + Vision

Vision:"Why does everyone consider us to be such a strange pairing?"

Wasp:"Because I'm fun and kinda crazy, and you're serious and kinda boring."

Vision:"I'm not boring."

Wasp:"No, I know. I said kinda boring. It's great because you balance me out."

Vision:"Because you're \"kinda\" annoying?"

Wasp:"Fine. I deserved that."

Vision:"My zingers are anything but boring."

>Wasp + War Machine

Wasp":"If we ever get married, I'll change my name to Wasp Machine."

War Machine":"Deal. Instead of a ring, I'll get you a Gatling gun."

Wasp":"..."

War Machine":"I'm just kidding. I'd get you a ring."

Wasp":"..."

War Machine":"And a Gatling gun?"