‘Everybody is curious sometimes’

When I was questioning my sexual orientation, I sometimes got a message from my environment that everybody is curious sometimes. At the time, I interpreted this as a pleasant, ‘accepting’ message. It treated things as not a big deal; nothing to worry about. That was good, I thought.

But it set me back.

It set me back on my journey to realise that I wasn’t straight. It told me that my homosexual interests were negligible. It erases sparks that could result in key realisations, treating them as aberrations from my otherwise hetero sexuality. When I have discussed this with others, a person responded that she was set back 32 years by this and others experienced this to differing degrees as well. It is harmful, when somebody would benefit from coming out to themselves.

It’s also related to the untrue 'everybody is bisexual’ stereotype, which erases the experiences of others and can degrade bisexuals (sometimes in spite of the intentions of people who say it, to show they are accepting).