“Why did you leave her?” I asked the student as he walked towards me with shoulders shrugged, sad puppy look on his baby face. The girl he was talking to in the bookstore was still looking at travel guides. She’d been smiling when he was talking to her, so why was he quitting now without closing?

“I didn’t know what to say.” He said.

“What did I tell you about staying in?”

“I know, I know, but I froze…”

“What did I say?” I repeated.

“Two minutes.”

“That’s right, I said if you stay in the set for two minutes, you will be forced to talk, or listen, and expand your verbal game. If you quit at the first hiccup, you will never learn.”

“I know.” He said.

“She’s still standing there. You’re going back. You will talk to her and you will get her contact. If you leave without asking for it, I will turn you around and make you go back.”

“Oh my god, really? I can’t.”

“Dude….go.” I told him.

“What do I say?” He asked. I wanted to slap his mouth, but I kept me cool. “Go! Now!” I said, and pushed him back towards her.

He re-opened her, stayed with the interaction for another five minutes, got the number, and ended up hooking up with the girl the next evening. True story.

To learn how to speak with women, you will need to pay your dues. You will need to say embarrassing things, you will need to fail. This is how you will gain feedback, and learn to calibrate. Nobody knows what to say, but the big difference between a guy that gets good at talking and a guy that doesn’t, is the guy that get good is fine with sucking. He’s ok with embarrassing himself.

Here are the two main rules for verbal game.

Don’t be needy or supplicate. Keep talking.

If you want to try being cocky, be cocky. If you want to use your dhv story, go for it. If you want to be natural and smooth, just wing it and hope for the best.

If you practice enough, you have the ability to be a master wordslinger. But you have to stay in there, for at least two minutes, or until she tells you to go away.

The more often you force yourself to stay in for at least two minutes, the faster your neural pathways will re-wire themselves. Creative conversation skills are a muscle that you’ve likely neglected.

Let go of your fear of ridicule, of saying the wrong thing. Go practice where nobody knows you, far away from friends and family. Hang out with peers that won’t judge you. Get your ass in gear and do it, today.

Consider this: The longer you stay in set, the faster you will learn. It doesn’t matter if you are talking about your garden and she is bored to tears, or you are at your most charming and wittiest from hello. All the transformation will happen in your sleep, in your unconscious mind. The more minutes you spend talking, the more you will transform while you sleep—like interest in a bank.

Imagine that every minute you spend in set puts another $1000 in your bank account that you can withdraw in six months, when you come of age. That’s how you learn verbal game.

Be like the budding rockstar, who even though he has no clue how to play his instrument, he plucks away, day and night, experimenting with different sounds, until finally, his hands start forming the proper shapes and something resembling music emerges from his soul.

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