Before we get to the actual “letter”, it’s time for me to reveal something that might surprise most of you, a few of you might have suspected, and only my fellow staffers at Return of Kings had confirmation of until now: I am Eurasian. Half White and Half Chinese to be precise. A “Hapa” , if you insist on using that nonsensical term that I didn’t even know existed until I was 23 years old.

You might be asking: Why didn’t you say anything about this until now? Well, there are two main reasons for it, one of which stimulates the majority of my reticence, and the other is a smaller issue that nonetheless spurred the creation of this article.

80% of the reason I never discussed the matter is simply because I wanted to be known as something other than “that Eurasian Return of Kings guy”-I despise racial grievance politics in all its forms, and I wanted my work to be judged on its own merits.

The other 20%, and I am slightly ashamed to say this as it could be construed as the grievance politics I hate, is that I can’t help but notice that any mention within the manosphere/the alt-right of the not-demographic I belong to will inevitably lead to a chorus of mentions of one Elliot Rodger.

Thank you Encyclopedia Dramatica.

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, as his manifesto directly attacked the manosphere and as such he’s a figure of some relevance even to this day. Indeed, it is exactly the Supreme Gentleman’s sexual frustration that is the reason for writing this article. While I don’t consider myself any more Asian then I consider myself White (which is to say I find no difficulty in identifying with both European/American and Asian cultures-being that they can both be broadly considered “ice people” in the words of Professional Idiot Leonard Jeffries), I feel that I’m the closest thing to an Asian figurehead that neo-masculinity has. As such, I feel that I can address this polite, but firm letter to Asian men (more specifically, Asian men living in the United States in particular, and the West in general):

—

Dear Zipperhead,

You’re angry, bitter, and frustrated-I know. You’re told essentially from the day you’re born that not only are you not sexually attractive, you’re almost devoid of any sexuality at all. Smug white beta males see your women as easy “practice targets” for them to vent their own sexual frustrations on-and Asian women do little to dispel this stereotype. I get it. Your native accent is the least sexy accent on the planet. You whine about Hollywood yellowface and whitewashing and lack of representation.

I FUCKING GET IT.

“I have no hope” you lament. “I better go on websites for gelded faggots like bitterasianmen.com and longingfordeath.wordpress.com, where I can vent my pissy frustrations against ‘the evil white man’ while hoping that we can whine hard enough to get Hollywood to portray as cool sex machines. It worked for black people, right?”

So this is what happened to the Yellow Peril? This is the race that kept Jack London awake at night in fear? A bunch of whining nerds? You’re doing everything in your power to prove yourselves the effeminate beta males people think you are.

There’s a reason why the opening paragraphs focus almost entirely on sex: your sexual issues are literally the only reason you’re angry, the only reason that you feel such hatred and animosity towards white people. You’re better educated than white people, you make more money than white people, you have lower rates of crime than white people, and you basically beat the “blue eyed devils” in every positive metric. You have nothing to complain about today.

Don’t try to act like you have any legitimate historical grievance either, because I don’t see it: The occupation of the Phillipines? I find it amusing that people actually living in the Phillipines don’t seem to be nearly as upset about it-this phenomenon of Filipino-Americans raging over this 45 year occupation speaks more to the institutional culture of guilt-mongering that permeates through America then any sort of actual resentment.

The 1924 Immigration Act? Please, as if that is the worst thing that’s ever happened to Chinese people.

(Also, people forget that, at one time, the United States actually considered itself a sovereign nation rather than an international flophouse , and any sovereign nation has a right to decide who they want and who they don’t want. I’m not exactly torn up over this.)

The internment camps? A little bit warmer, but people inevitably forget that A) Germans and Italians were also interned B) Reparations were given ONLY to the Japanese, and C) In the wake of the always-neglected Niihau Island incident, internment was an unfortunate but also completely logical reaction (that admittedly could have been handled better).

The Vietnam War is probably the only legitimate reason for any group of Asians to be angry towards America, but the increasing numbers of American expatriates living in that country would indicate they’re not terribly upset about it-and let’s not forget the million plus boat people that risked life and limb to come to the US.

And beyond those examples that are actually somewhat politically relevant, what other bullshit claims for grievances do you have? Hollywood stereotyping/lack of representation? Asians comprise at most 5% of the American population, why are you surprised that nobody’s catering to you? There’s a rich and prolific film industry in Asia! You want to see Asian men as romantic leads? Try looking there! Oh, and by the way, the first interracial romance ever depicted in feature length American film was an Asian man and a white woman (yes, I know that the Asian man was played by a white man in makeup, it’s still remarkable for 1919. As a side note it also serves to dispel the idiotic slandering of DW Griffith that exists today).

The accents…well, yeah, Asian accents are not remotely attractive, but that’s hardly “the white man’s” fault.

So considering that your claims of grievance are largely overblown, it appears to my epicanthic-folded eyes that your anger stems entirely from how you don’t have sexual intercourse very often. And to an extent, I do have sympathy for your plight.

As I’ve said repeatedly on this website and on Return of Kings, I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 20. I also blamed my race for my sexual inadequacies all throughout high school, and thoughts of a life of involuntary celibacy were always hounding me-I visited one of those two miserable websites linked in the 9th paragraph fairly frequently. One bad day could have sent me hurtling towards Social Justice and racial grievance politics.

However, here I am today, with an active and healthy sex life-I’m not going to lie and claim I’m currently dating a supermodel, but I’ve certainly come a long way from the dateless wonder I once was. So I ask you, in the spirit of “tough love”:

What the hell’s stopping you from doing the same?

You people are supposed to be good at studying and knuckling down, right? What’s keeping you from studying Game, gaining experience with women, learning how to converse like a witty and dapper human being, and hitting the gym? You don’t even need to leave this website to learn how to do most of that!

The only way Asian men will stop being seen as dorky, unsexual dweebs is if you stop being dorky, unsexual dweebs. It’s not America’s fault, it’s not the white nerd who goes on a sex tourist trip to Thailand’s fault, it’s not Hollywood’s fault. It’s entirely your fault.

It’s a tall order I’m giving you, I know. But if a few guys can pull this off, maybe you’ll earn the representation you allegedly so greatly desire. And more importantly, you might get laid.

Or you can continue to ally with “sun people” that despise you and will likely turn on you the second that white people disappear.

Signed,

Someone who was once one of you.