This is a subject I haven't lived with. But Bear is 16 and fast approaching adulthood. I see on my stat counter that often this is a topic that is googled. So I thought I'd dig around a little and see what I can find. What I find is that living with an adult with attachment disorder would be a tough tough life. This first information is from Evergreen Consultants . I bet anything people with adult attachment disorder are diagnosed with personality disorders. It would be tough to tell the difference. I think, as a mom observer, the key is looking at what lies underneath. What started it all? Was there some form of abandonment or severe neglect especially in the first 3 years of life?"Unresolved childhood attachment issues leave an adult vulnerable to difficulties in forming secure adult relationships. Patterns of attachment continue through the life cycle and across generations. New relations are affected by the expectations developed in past relationships. There is a strong correlation between insecure adult attachment and marital dissatisfaction and negative marital interactions. If an adult does not feel safe with others, he/she will tend to be either rejecting of their partner or overly clingy. Attachment problems are often handed down transgenerationally unless someone breaks the chain. As a parent, an insecurely attached adult may lack the ability to form a strong attachment to their child and provide the necessary attachment cues required for the healthy emotional development of the child thereby predisposing their child to a lifetime of relationship difficulties. Depending on the genetic personality style of the individual and the early life events experienced, insecurely attached adults fall in one of two categories of insecure attachment:AVOIDANTIntense anger and lossHostileCritical of othersSensitive to blameLack of empathyViews others as untrustworthyViews others as undependableViews self as unlovable or "too good" for othersRelationships feel either threatening to one's sense of control, not worth the effort, or bothCompulsive self-reliancePassive withdrawalLow levels of perceived supportDifficulty getting along with co-workers, often preferring to work aloneWork may provide a good excuse to avoid personal relationsFear of closeness in relationshipsAvoidance of intimacyUnlikely to idealize the love relationshipTendency toward Introjective depression (self critical)ANXIOUS/AMBIVALENTCompulsive Care givingFeel over involved and under appreciatedRapid relationship breakupsIdealizing of othersStrong desire for partner to reciprocate in relationshipDesire for extensive contact and declarations of affectionsOver invests his/her emotions in a relationshipPerceives relationships as imbalancedRelationship is idealizedPreoccupation with relationshipDependence on relationshipHeavy reliance on partnerViews partner as desirable but unpredictable (sometimes available, sometimes not)Perceives others as difficult to understandRelationship is primary method by which one can experience a sense of securityUnlikely to view others as altruisticSensitive to rejectionDiscomfort with angerExtreme emotionsJealousPossessiveViews self as unlovableSuicide attemptsMood swingsTendency toward anaclitic depression (dependent depression) "Here is a site with an adult attachment disorder support group. "You say you are struggling; many with depression, anxiety, self mutilation, sadness, a loss of self worth, lonely, and feelings of just not being good enough. So why put hearts on a site where people are suffering and lonely? The hearts are there to remind you that people really do love you and care about you. You are not alone and you really are lovable. Really! I'll say that again in case you missed that. You really are lovable! So when you are feeling lonely, sad, depressed, or thinking you are not worthy, remember the hearts, you are lovable!Here you will find adults working at overcoming attachment disorder, adults who have overcome attachment disorder, or adults who have relationships with someone who has attachment disorder."The Institute for Attachment & Child Development has excellent information but their site is copyrighted so here is a link: http://www.instituteforattachment.org/adult_intensives.htm If you live with someone who has Attachment Disorder as an adult there is hope. I have a dear friend who has a relative who began her healing from RAD in her 60s and is doing very well. ALL things are possible. Never give up hope. Be determined to find the help you and your family need.