*By Alex Brandon/AP Photo.*What follows is a transcript of senior-level discussions held late last night in the Roosevelt Room at the White House. President Barack Obama, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA), House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH), and Secretary of the Treasury Timothy Geithner were among those in attendance. OBAMA: The American people have been watching. They’ve counted on us, Republicans and Democrats alike, to transcend party bickering, to rise above the politics-as-usual culture of Washington. Though there were times I doubted our ability to move forward on this issue, we’ve done it. We’ve gathered around and reached a compromise. Ladies and gentlemen, this is truly a historical moment. PELOSI: At long last, it’s finally settled.

OBAMA: And this is acceptable to our colleagues?

BOEHNER: It is, Mr. President.

OBAMA: We are in agreement, then. We will be ordering pizza. So, let’s get down to specifics. Who’s having what?

REID: Why don’t we just order two extra cheeses, a mushroom, a half sausage and half pepperoni, and maybe something else?

GEITHNER: A liter of Diet Coke.

OBAMA: And a liter of Diet Coke for Timothy. So, if one of the pages could

CANTOR: If I may, Mr. President, I think those of us on the other side of the aisle have a slightly different proposal with regard to the pizza order.

REID: Oh, for the love of With all due respect, it’s already taken us three and a half hours to decide on pizza, without taking into account the many hours we wasted on the Chinese proposal or Italian contingency plan, not to even mention the Cheesecake Factory filibuster of earlier in the day. We need to get back to the matter at hand.

BOEHNER: Which is ?

REID: The debt ceiling.

OBAMA: And we will get back to resolving the full faith and credit of the United States. But even during a time of crisis, we must pay heed to all the voices in the room, especially when those voices are hungry. Let’s give the pizza counter-proposal a listen.

CANTOR: I believe that the framework of our agreement should be based on ordering three slices of something, and then voting on what that something is, and then, at some later time, voting again as to what we should order once we’ve finished the already ordered slices, if and only if we’re still hungry.

OBAMA: O.K., fine. So that’s three slices each. What’ll everybody ha—

CANTOR: No. Not three slices per person. Three slices for the entire room.

REID: Three slices for the entire room? But there are 17 of us.

CANTOR: I’m thinking of the long term. It is irresponsible, nay, reckless for us to leverage the future of the American people, to forget the many slices of pizza we’ve ordered in the past, just because we need to order more pizza. Of course, there’ll be greater detail in an upcoming pizza counter-counter-counter-proposal.

OBAMA: It’s not that I’m against ordering several different slices in a staggered arrangement. Let’s work this out. What’s three divided by 17?

GEITHNER: .17647 of a slice for each of us.

OBAMA: Thanks, Timothy.

GEITHNER: And a liter of Diet Coke.

OBAMA: And a liter of Diet Coke for Timothy. So, logic dictates that a full pizza encompasses 360 degrees, with eight slices per pie. If the pizza slices are cut at 45 degree angles, and we have three slices of pizza, then that’s 135 degrees. Are we agreed on this?

CANTOR: Perhaps.

OBAMA: If we were to round up and

CANTOR: Round down.

OBAMA: Round down, divide 135 by 17, thus giving everyone in the room approximately 7.94 angle degrees of a slice of pizza. I think we’re making real progress, all through the spirit of bipartisan cooperation!