4. “Shadowboxing”

There’s a lyric in this song, “When you watch me throwing punches at the devil, it just looks like I’m fighting with me,” that reminds me of a line in Lorde’s song “Liability,” where she sings, “We slow dance in the living room, but all that a stranger would see is one girl swaying alone, stroking her cheek.”

I love that Lorde line so much—the image of being outside the house and just watching her dance around alone in the living room is so creepily heartbreaking.

The whole premise of shadowboxing is a metaphor in this song: When you see a shadow boxer training, their opponent is something that is only visible within their own mind. And that is what’s so frustrating about being in a relationship with a person with mental illness—you cannot put your hands on, or totally understand, what that person is grappling with.

There’s this quote by [early 20th century European poet Rainer Maria] Rilke that literally changed my life, which I know is a pretentious thing to say: “Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage.” Especially in our political climate, it’s a little bit difficult to say everything’s a blessing. When people say this election is a blessing in disguise because it showed us how much we can come together for a greater good, I think that is a pacifying phrase that’s ignoring the immense suffering that people go through. The reason why people feel they have to say everything is a blessing is because we speak in these binaries and absolutes, but that’s just not a realistic way to live. Maybe it is more accurate to say, “There is so much suffering present in our our shared historical moment right now, but that does not negate our capacity for joy, our potential to change, and our ability to keep hope alive.” But being hopeful does not mean you’re happy all the time. It’s not an ultimatum.

5. “Sour Breath”

Your lyrics often involve paradoxical ideas, and on this song you say, “You’re everything I want, and I’m all you dread.”

I’m looking at how different people’s experiences of a situation can be: How you can think that something is right for you, but it’s totally wrong for someone else, or how you can want and not want something at the same time. Especially in relationships. Everybody wants to have an empirical analysis of a relationship ending, but sometimes there’s not that much clarity, and that’s OK.

6. “Televangelist”

You give so much of yourself in your music, especially in live performances. Has it become easier for you to excavate and share stories?

Writing songs has always been a process where I divulge a lot, just because music is a tool for me to sift through and process intense emotions. But having music be my primary occupation has changed how I interact with art. I recognize the platform that I have, and I want to use that to do something positive, but I don’t want to speak of visceral painful experiences and then let those be enabling. It’s important to me to provide a catalyst for improvement, not just a bulletin for suffering. My music is not always about getting my ideas heard, it’s about letting other people feel empowered to have their ideas heard by example.