In the wake of the 2018 “blue wave”, when the party secured impressive midterms, the Democrats were poised to field one of the most diverse pool of presidential candidates in US history: people of colour, women, an openly gay man, most of them under the age of 55.

And now, in the wake of Super Tuesday, there remain two contenders for the Democratic nomination, both of them white men over the age of 75; neither of them, in my opinion, the most qualified or best candidate for the position. That candidate, Senator Elizabeth Warren, suspended her campaign on Thursday.

An ardent Warren supporter, I was devastated by this news. Her campaign inspired me and reawakened the hope that three years of a Trump administration had all but extinguished. Warren is an intellectual and an academic. She thinks deeply about issues and considers them from multiple perspectives.

More importantly, she recognised her limitations and was receptive to other points of view. And, most essential, she knew when to dig in and when to reverse course. She embodied the balance of head and heart that is so elusive and so essential in a leader, especially the leader of a country as diverse as the United States.

In 2016, I was shattered and yet somehow not surprised that the US failed to elect its first female president. I recognised the vitriol and misogyny spewed at Hillary Clinton as well as the more subtle institutional sexism directed at her. I heard the rationalisations insisting that it wasn’t the idea of A Woman President, it was the idea of this woman with a lengthy record of national service, who was running against a reality-television star with little relevant experience and a lengthy history of bankruptcies, controversy and scandal.

Yet, despite her qualifications, Clinton was a polarising figure. What would happen if we took those voters at their word and found another woman, one who was less controversial than Clinton and who had even more experience? Surely, that would work. Wouldn’t it?

Warren seemed to be the ideal candidate: she was not only smart, articulate and unafraid, she was highly qualified. In short, she was the candidate most likely to affect the change needed to reverse the incredible harm the past four years have witnessed.

If 2016 taught us anything, isn’t it that even if we think we know who is most likely to be elected, we have no idea?

Yet, last week, Democrats in my home state of South Carolina, and those in Georgia, North Carolina, Texas, Oklahoma, California, Massachusetts and many, many other states answered the question of whether this woman would be worthy of their support with a resounding no.

Instead of voting for a woman who was both accomplished and compassionate, a candidate who combined the progressive ideals of one of her rivals with an ability to foster connection and collaboration, they starkly split their ballots between two familiar faces – both themselves polarising and controversial, both white men. There are a lot of voters who will continue to insist that gender had nothing to do with their choice. But the rhetoric of the past few weeks tells a different story. Again and again, people have said that Warren was their preferred candidate but that they didn’t vote for her because they didn’t think she’d win either the nomination or in the general election.

Everyone agrees that defeating Donald Trump is the most important thing, that we all need to get together on the same side, whichever side that turns out to be, #BlueNoMatterWho, etc. However, instead of casting a ballot for the candidate they prefer, instead of voting for the candidate they want to see carry the nomination, they choose the candidate who they think is most electable. But if 2016 has taught us anything, hasn’t it taught us that even if we think we know who is most likely to be elected, we really have no idea?

I am proud to have voted for Elizabeth Warren, and I’m disappointed, yet again, to see a smart, well-qualified woman cast aside to make way for yet more white men. My heart hurts to see that our country fails to recognise that there’s a better alternative to the dogmatism and indignation of one candidate or the comfortable status quo of the other. I’m profoundly saddened that we have rejected a candidate who is willing to admit mistakes and be accountable for them in favour of more finger-pointing and redirection.

Despite my sadness, I’m also left with a powerful sense of gratitude. Thank you, Senator Warren, for being such a positive example of grit, integrity and grace. Thank you for standing up for your principles and not backing down from a fight. Thank you for standing for the dignity of all Americans, for working towards inclusivity and opportunity. Thank you, most of all, for your persistence.

• Erin Templeton is Dean of Humanities, Sciences, & Business at Converse College, South Carolina