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As the great physicist, mathematician and (I’m pretty sure this is correct) the first person to stuff figs inside of cookies, Sir Isaac Newton, proclaimed in his third law of motion: “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”


While the only thing I know about quantum mechanics is the early ’ 90's TV show in which Scott Bakula leaps through time, I’m pretty sure this means that for every Beyoncé , there is an equal and opposite Taylor Swift. For every Barack Obama, there is a Donald Trump. For every Post Malone, there is a Kendrick Lamar.

And if you ever wondered what would be the equal and opposite of Black Twitter, Republican candidate for g overnor of Florida Rep. Ron DeSantis would like to introduce you to White Facebook.


According to American Ledger and Media Matters researcher Natalie Martinez, on Wednesday evening, shortly after he warned Fox News viewers not to “monkey this up” by voting for Florida’s gubernatorial d emocratic c andidate Andrew Gillum, DeSantis quit a secret Facebook group simply called “Tea Party,” known for sharing racist, homophobic, Islamophobic, xenophobic and logic-phobic posts with each other.

But wait ... There’s more.

DeSantis wasn’t just a member of the group, he was an administrator!

The group has 95,000 members (at least one of whom trolls me constantly), and shares conspiracy theories and memes suggesting that the Black Lives Matter are worse than the KKK because “BLM vermin is nothing but black supremacy with white masters.” Another post alleged that the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, Va., was part of a plot by leftists to destroy American history.


But wait ... there’s even more!



Also on W hite Facebook is Beaver County, Penn. Republican Party Secretary Carla Maloney.


“What we have in this country right now is reverse racism,” she wrote on one post, according to the Beaver Countian. “I am so sick of the name calling, rioting, shooting, and looting. I don’t know when but there will be another civil war in this country soon (sic) than later.”

But Maloney reserved most of her ire for the NFL players kneeling during the anthem, a known irritant on White Facebook. Maloney explained:

Tired of these over paid ignorant blacks telling me what I should believe in. I will tell you what I believe in and that is our Flag and National Anthem and America period end of story. You don’t like it here go to Africa see how you like it there. We are all Americans not African American not Hispanic American. WE ARE ALL AMERICAN.


Maloney must have stretched her racism muscles before she wrote this, because she wasn’t done:

Steelers are now just as bad as the rest of the over paid baboons. You respect your flag, country and our national atnthem (sic). How many men and women have lost limbs or died to protect this country and you baboons want respect. If you want respect you need to earn it and so far you haven’t. Stop watching, or going to a game and paying for over priced food, water and tickets. Lets see how the baboons get paid when white people stop paying their salaries


Carla gained a number of comments on her post, none of which seem to be negative. But I guess it’s like that on W hite Facebook. Or maybe it is because Maloney is a local celebrity. In July, Maloney appeared on Van Jones’ CNN show as a Trump supporter and went off on illegal immigrants and the black children in “the black community that has one mother.”


Maloney’s right. I am one of those black children who only has one mother. And it’s not a stereotype because there are so many more like me. Almost every single black person I know is forced to live with only one mother.

White Facebook is much drier and a lot less funny than Black Twitter, but you must remember what I said about equal and opposite reactions.


If black supremacists actually existed and had a violent rally in a small Virginia town, Black Twitter wouldn’t accuse the whites of orchestrating it. And if there was a crisis of children forced to go through life with only one mother Black Twitter wouldn’t react with rage or hate. They’d probably say the same thing Obama says when he’s confronted by an angry white racist:

“Still beat, though.”