Kurt Cobain famously sang “what else should I say? everyone is gay” in 1993, and this week, James Franco took that concept and blogged with it. Mr. Franco has never shied away from playing or depicting gay characters in his work (or from strapping a dick to his face and walking around Paris), and presumably gets asked about his sexuality all the time. In the hopes of giving that question the thought it deserves… or, uh, something… Franco wrote a piece for 429 Magazine in which James interviews the part of himself that is gay.

The 429 piece isn’t online, but Slate has a description and pull-quote:

The conversation that unfolds between the two Francos is only occasionally cutesy (Gay James: “You jerk me off all the time.”). More often, the men struggle to unpack the implications of sexuality and identity in Franco’s work. Here’s one of the most revealing moments: Straight James: Let’s get substantial: are you f*cking gay or what? Gay James: Well, I like to think that I’m gay in my art and straight in my life. Although, I’m also gay in my life up to the point of intercourse, and then you could say I’m straight. So I guess it depends on how you define gay. If it means whom you have sex with, I guess I’m straight. In the twenties and thirties, they used to define homosexuality by how you acted and not by whom you slept with. Sailors would f*ck guys all the time, but as long as they behaved in masculine ways, they weren’t considered gay.

Fascinating.

GRAD STUDENT VINCE: Hey, did you read that piece where James Franco interviews himself?

JUNIOR COLLEGE VINCE: Wait, the Spider-Man dude?

GRAD STUDENT VINCE: Right, that one. He’s also starring in the new Wim Wenders film with Charlotte Gainsbourg. Anyway, I thought it perfectly encapsulated the paradox of Franco using sexuality in his work. On the one hand, he has some mildly interesting thoughts about the implications and historical concepts of “gayness.” But on the other, isn’t anything he might say vastly outweighed by how much he, as a straight man, seems to enjoy using gayness as a provocation? Isn’t he a broken record at this point? And isn’t this a sort of cultural appropriation? As always, the piece seems to be about five percent genuine discussion of masculinity and sexuality and ninety-five percent Thing James Franco Does for Attention. My question: Is that five percent a net positive, where any discussion he can spark using his celebrity is a good thing? Or does he cheapen the act of discussing such things simply by seeming like an obnoxious dilettante?

JUNIOR COLLEGE VINCE: (*spits dip into empty Gatorade*) The f*ck you just say to me?