My body feels like electrified concrete. My mind isn't working. I've eaten about half a pound of Jelly Belly's already. Even the licorice flavored ones.

What's it like to quit smoking, you ask? Remember the worst flu you've ever had -- body aches, lethargy, stomach cramps, nausea, headaches, sore throat, coughing that makes your lungs feel like they're on fire. Then imagine the angriest you've ever been, and try to picture being in that state for a solid week. When people try to cheer you up, it only makes it worse. Everything makes it worse.

Concentrate on physically clenching every muscle in your body all at once and hold it for as long as you can. Just when you think you can't take it anymore, hold it for another week. Now, combine all of those into one cohesive army that's constantly attacking your body and mind, and the whole time, you know that smoking a single cigarette will take all of that away in less than five seconds.

I've smoked one to two packs of cigarettes a day for 24 years, and just this week I decided that enough is enough. So I loaded up on junk food, attempted to seal myself off from society and quit cold turkey. Here are a number of observations I made about the world while in the throes of nicotine addiction.

WARNING: GRAPHIC LANGUAGE