Loads of people get guinea pigs for their kids because they think pigs are easy pets and also they don’t love their kids enough to just get them a dog or something. Like guinea pigs are just giant hamsters.

But unless your cat is really needy, guinea pigs are at least as big of a commitment as many popular pets. They need attention several times a day, and it’s not always clean and easy. They’re also very sensitive, both physically and emotionally. Here are the very, very basics you should know about these fluffs if you’re considering adopting, if you’re a new pig parent, or if you very mistakenly believe that guinea pigs aren’t “real” pets (you terrible person, you).

They need constant socialization from a buddy.

Guinea pigs are social animals. While they can do alright on their own with plenty of attention from their humans, there’s nothing like having a buddy of their own species. Without someone their own size to communicate with, many pigs will become so depressed that they literally die from sadness. Like I said: sensitive.

Even if you adopt two pigs who don’t get along and can’t live in the same cage together, they can both benefit immensely from living in two cages near each other. As long as they can get a visual and communicate verbally, they’ll feel so much better than they would if they were alone.

They require a large cage setup.

You can’t get a great guinea pig cage at the pet store. You just can’t. A single guinea pig needs ten square feet of space to thrive in, and most pet store cages only go up to six or seven. You have to order online, or build one yourself. Even my size “large” C&C cage from the Guinea Pig Cages Store, pictured above, is pretty middle class. A pig can do okay in a pet store cage, but why settle for the bare minimum when your pets can have it all?

I originally housed my pigs in pet store cages, waiting to see if they would get along well enough to live together–basically, would I need two big cages or one giant one? In addition to their big cages, they need lots of stuff to hide in since they’re “prey animals” who are constantly worried about being scooped up by hawks because guinea pigs are a little stupid and don’t understand the concept of indoors.

They need their cages tidied up two or three times a day.

Guinea pigs poop. They poop so much. They poop a whole ‘nother guinea pig every day.

I’ve used both shavings and fleece as cage lining, and I swear by the fleece. It all depends on what works best for you, since pigs like them both. Shavings require more pee scoops, less frequent poop scoops, and can be more expensive in the long run since it gets replaced every week. Fleece requires no pee scoops, lots of poop scoops, laundry once a week, and ends up paying for itself in the end. They both have their pros and cons but whichever you choose, you still need to spend some time cleaning up the waste at least once a day.

They have special nutritional needs.

Guinea pigs subsist on three things: hay, pellets, and veggies.

Fresh water and timothy hay need to be supplied constantly. It’s impossible to overfeed hay, which is the most important staple of the pig diet. It helps your pig grind down it’s back teeth, which never stop growing, and keeps them regular and pooping literally always.

Guinea pigs also need pellets to get their nutrition, but only just the right amount. If pigs have too many pellets available, they might not eat enough hay and can end up with serious problems.

They also appreciate a good salad once a day. Within two weeks of owning your pig, they’ll learn the sound of plastic bags and the fridge door and they’ll go batshit with excitement until their veggies arrive. Every time I change the garbage bag in the kitchen, the pigs wheek constantly until I eventually break down and give them a carrot to share. But you also have to be very careful about what veggies you feed, as they have very sensitive systems and their bodies will literally turn apples into cyanide.

Pigs also need a vitamin C supplement, as they’re prone to scurvy. Randy doesn’t like his vitamin C supplements, so I have to get creative about getting him to eat it. It’s like sneaking pills into cat food, every single day.

At least it’s easy to find pig-appropriate toys.

Carboard boxes, cardboard tubes, toilet paper rolls, oatmeal cannisters, Pop Tarts boxes, paper bags… Anything in that family of items. Pigs love crawling through tunnels and burrowing into things. Easy.

They need to be groomed as much as a dog.

Though they rarely, if ever, need full baths, guinea pigs often need to be spot cleaned with a damp towel. They also need to be brushed every day to remove loose fur and keep them smelling fresh… ish.

Additionally, they need their nails trimmed once every three or four weeks. Nobody likes this. You don’t. The pigs don’t. But it has to be done, or else their nails curl into their feet and can cause them serious pain. If you’ve never trimmed a pig’s nails before, it is exactly as much of a nightmare as you might expect.

Guinea pigs do get dirty grease glands, though, some more than others. The grease gland is the dirty spot just above where the butt crack would be if guinea pigs had butt cracks.

Randy’s is pretty clean but Ralphie’s is absolutely disgusting, all the time. So far, I’ve only cleaned their glands once. I dampened their fur and vigorously rubbed a tiny bit of Dawn dish soap on the dirty spot, which they hated. Then I rinsed them off in a little tub of water, which they hated. Then I rubbed them down with a towel, which they loved.

No. I’m kidding. They hated all of it.

They need you.

Guinea pigs need both cuddles and exercise every day.

The cuddles are easy, but incredibly important to keep pigs from feeling lonely and unloved. Cuddle them even if they poop on you, which they will. You can snuggle all your pigs at once, or just one at a time. Hold them and love them for a little while every day. My pigs like watching Dexter with me.

Pigs also need to run free! Even if you have a large cage for your babies, they’ll still get a kick out of running around on the floor every day. Even my shy pig gets excited to get down. Running in big circles is their favorite kind of exercise. NEVER put a guinea pig in an exercise ball. Their backs are hunched and the balls cause them to bend the wrong way and can seriously injure them.

There are loads upon loads of other reasons why guinea pigs aren’t “easy” pets. And honestly, they’re not a good first pet for young kids because of the amount of care they need and how sensitive they are. Too often, kids will lose interest and the guinea pigs will end up neglected or re-homed. Think twice before you adopt, and when you do, make sure you keep making time for them! They rely on you for everything.

However complicated guinea pigs are, they’re simple in one key way: It’s so easy to win their love through bribery. Give them space, cuddles, and food, and they adore you forever. Unlike certain cats I know.

If you’re a pig parent, what surprised you the most about their needs? What didn’t you realize when you first adopted, and what have you learned since?