NAPERVILLE, IL—Sources confirmed Friday that what appeared to be a casual, friendly round of after-work drinks organized by 34-year-old Michael Boykins with acquaintance Dave Snyder was in actuality the first move in an intricate game of chess designed to secure Boykins a job at United.com. “So how you been, man? How’s work?” said the adroit student of Machiavelli, setting into motion a Byzantine scheme whose sole purpose was to place Boykins, ever so delicately, in a prime position to be hired at the Chicago-based airline’s web operations office. “Hey, let me get this round. You’re still at United, right?” At press time, Phase XVII of Boykins’ cunningly crafted offensive was running smoothly as he ordered another pitcher of Bud and segued seamlessly into chit-chat about Snyder’s golf game.

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