In the first of a new series, Conor Heffernan will look back on some of the most ridiculous summer transfers in football history. First under the spotlight is the talented Danish international Allan Simonsen.

The summer provides all football fans with a chance to dream, to dream of unearthed footballing gems and big name stars being bought by their club. Who among us has not spent hours online convincing ourselves that Ronaldo will return to Manchester, or that Rio Ferdinand will return to Leeds (okay the two aren’t comparable, but I’m banking on the second rumour!). With the World Cup in Brazil this summer we are sure to see a busy transfer window.

In this weekly series, some of the more memorable and bizarre footballing transfers will be discussed. Think Julian Faubert to Real Madrid, Fabrizio Ravanelli to Middlesbrough or Danny Dichio to Sampdoria. Yes, we will travel back into the footballing annals and discuss the weird, the wonderful and the downright inexplicable of the transfer market.

And to kick off the series, we begin with a personal favourite of mine. A move so strange it would have broken Football Manager. Oh yes, today you’re in for a treat, for today we will look at a Danish genius, a dynamic striker who in 1977 beat both Kevin Keegan and Johan Cruyff to win the FIFA Ballon D’or, who graced Barcelona’s Nou Camp for three seasons before finally being replaced by Diego Maradona. This was a man who in 1982 had the football world at his feet.

Allan Simonsen, by October of 1982, had established a reputation for class. The only man ever to have scored in the European Cup, UEFA Cup, and Cup Winners’ Cup finals. He was Danish royalty, eventually ending his international career with 20 goals in 55 games for Denmark. When Barcelona decided to sell him due to La Liga’s restrictions of two foreign footballers per team, Real Madrid and Tottenham Hotspur, among others, came knocking. Would Simonsen dazzle crowds in London or Madrid?

The answer was a definitive no. A man of Simonsen’s quality needed a stage on which to shine. The Bernabeu or White Hart Lane may have sufficed for some, but a star needs a platform to showcase his skill. Shunning Real Madrid and Spurs, Simonsen went to the largest stage in England and one of the largest in Europe. A stadium fit for 75,000 people and a Club that had won domestic leagues and cups. It was a fairytale move. There were however some slight speed bumps in this story.

For a start, Simonsen went to Charlton Athletic who despite having the largest stadium capacity in England at the time, were languishing in the English Second Division and pulling in crowds of about 6,000. Secondly the fee, a cool £324k, was twice as much as Barcelona had paid for him and much more than Charlton could afford. Coupled with this, Simonsen was drawing in about £82k a year. Which strangely was a wage greater than anyone else in Division Two, including a certain Ronnie Moore, who would bang in 22 League Goals for Rotherham United that season.

Was it happily ever after?

The answer is mixed. Simonsen undoubtedly became a Charlton cult hero. He returned to the Valley as Manager of Fredericia as recently as 2012 to great support. So some good came from the move. Unfortunately however, he only played 17games, scoring 9 goals, before his astronomical wages and transfer fee nearly bankrupted Charlton. In 1983 Charlton’s total income amounted to about £269k. I’ll leave the math to you. The cherry on top of all this was that Simonsen’s contract stipulated that if Charlton’s situation worsened (and why would it? They had signed a European Footballer of the Year!), he could leave on a free transfer; which he duly did, opting to go back to his childhood club, VB, in Denmark and once more spurning the top clubs across Europe.

And what happened to Charlton? Well they finished 18th, five places lower than the previous season, avoiding relegation on the last day. The lasting legacy however was a throbbing financial headache that saw Charlton Chairman Mark Hulyer battle the Inland Revenue over a £145k tax bill along with bankruptcy petitions and winding up orders from disgruntled creditors.

The signing of Allan Simonsen in 1982 was the catalyst of a period that led to Charlton’s administration in 1984 and the decision to leave The Valley, their stadium of 65 years. All was not lost, Lennie Lawrence managed to steady the club and guided Charlton back to the top tier of English football in 1986 and, as I’m sure we all remember, Charlton did enjoy its time in the sun in the early noughties under Alan Curbishley.

What lessons can be drawn from this bizarre transfer? Should clubs spend within their means? Or should they avoid spend money they don’t have on players they can’t keep?

As a Leeds fan I’ve experienced the latter, but sadly, a part of me still waits in hope for Lionel Messi to follow in Simonsen’s footsteps and join a languishing Second Division Club. And if we’re being honest, many of you feel the same. Oh yes, the transfer window is a time of wonder. Watch this space.

Conor Heffernan, Pundit Arena.

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