It always starts innocently enough. He left the sink full of dishes. Or he watched the next episode of The Crown without you. Or there’s a miscommunication about chores or bills or future date nights. And during these tense moments, all it takes is one snarky remark to go from slight irritation to a full-blown fight—which is draining and rarely productive for you or your partner.

So the next time you feel things heating up, take a second to ask yourself: Will I actually care about this in a year?

According to a recent study conducted by the University of Waterloo, taking a second to think about the future made subjects less likely to blame their partners during an argument. It also made them more likely to forgive their spouses after a fight. Pausing to gain some perspective when you’re pissed off can prevent the situation from intensifying (and you from saying things you can’t take back). Let’s not sweat the small stuff, people.

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