LOS ANGELES—Despite the fact that in all of human history not one person has ever provided definitive empirical evidence of the afterlife, the crew of the second-tier cable network television show Ghost Hunters has shocked statisticians and theologians alike with an incredible and uncanny 100 percent success rate in documenting proof of spiritual presences from beyond the grave. "Well, we have really good equipment," said one cast member, a man in his 30s who sees one or more ghosts each week, without fail, every single time he sets out to do so. "What can I say? We're just really good researchers, I guess." At press time, despite having repeatedly resolved the most central question of human existence, the program is somehow not on the cover of every major newspaper, magazine, and scientific journal in the world.

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