Man who impressed a woman by quoting Coleridge actually just an Iron Maiden fan

A man who impressed his date by quoting The Rime of the Ancient Mariner managed to give the impression he liked Coleridge rather than Powerslave.

Simon Williams, who spent his years aged 13-19 listening to Iron Maiden on rotation and can quote the lyrics of every song they’ve done in full, just happened to drop into conversation several stanzas from Samuel Staylor Coleridge’s epic poem and managed not to follow it up with a bout of air guitar and throwing up the horns.

“It was a moment when she said she really liked Percy Bysshe Shelley’s Ozymandias and I knew I had to show I was clever and cultured and stuff,” he told us.

“Then I remembered the lines from Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey – ‘Lyrics, dude, recite some lyrics’ – and I was away.

“Day after day, day after day, we stuck, no breath nor motion, as silent as a painted ship upon a painted ocean, I said.

“I think I managed to cover up the faint headbanging by pretending I was nodding at something she said. But she seemed impressed, and the rest of the date went well.”

When asked, his date said she got all the stuff from Ozymandias from The Sisters of Mercy’s Dominion, and she hopes Simon doesn’t find out she used to be a bit of a goth.