They say fortune favors the bold–but it also favors the fictional. The characters that make up this year’s edition of the Wealthy Fictional 15, The annual listing of fiction’s richest, boast an aggregate net worth of $137 billion. That’s enough to give $20 to every (real) person on the planet.

#1 Scrooge McDuck

Net Worth: $28.8 billion

Soaring gold prices vault penny-pinching poultry to top slot; first non-mammal to rank as fiction’s richest character. Keeps majority of fortune in bullion, stored in giant “money bin” atop hill in Duckburg; also invests in pearls, gems, other “hoardables.” Literally swims in gold coins for exercise: “It keeps me young.” Moved to American West from native Glasgow as an adolescent, made first fortune in mining; still keeps first coin he ever earned. Never gives to charity. Spent year combating “vicious rumors” that he once gave a penny to sick orphan. Publicly disinherited Donald Duck, his “ne’er-do-well” “hothead” nephew; Donald joined Navy, left behind Scrooge’s mischievous grand-nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie. Troublesome trio now presumed heirs. Member since 1947.

#2 Ming The Merciless

Net Worth: $20.9 billion

Existence of planet Mongo confirmed by U.S. government only this year; discovered by ultra-secretive NASA program code-named “retro-rocket.” Mongo ruled by mysterious dictator named Ming; difficulty separating planetary wealth from personal fortune keeps net worth in low 11 figures; Ming possibly much richer. Variously described as “control freak,” “micro-manager,” “vile despot,” “a kinder Steve Ballmer”; press reports have settled on “merciless.” Reportedly lonely after executing wife; now fixated on Dale Arden, NASA public relations specialist, girlfriend of astronaut Flash Gordon. Arden allegedly kidnapped, brainwashed by Ming minions earlier this year; Gordon now among the regime’s most vocal critics. New member.

#3 Richie Rich

Net Worth: $16.1 billion

Self-proclaimed “poor little rich boy” now Silicon Valley power player, majority stockholder in Cisco Systems, primary investor in Facebook. With help from mentor Professor Keenbean invented robot maid, solid gold cellphone, e-mail spam engine. Often criticized for extravagant lifestyle, remains unrepentant; flew iceberg from the North Pole to Richville so friends could go skating. Rich’s personal life hit front pages after he dumped longtime sweetheart Gloria Glad for local siren Mayda Munny; took another hit after best pals Freckles and Pee-Wee were arrested on fraud charges related to Rich Industries insider-trading scandal. Member since 1953.

#4 Mom

Net Worth: $15.7 billion

The future’s wealthiest woman, Mom is known to her adoring public as the matronly CEO of MomCorp, a far-flung conglomerate with divisions ranging from Mom’s Friendly Robot Co. to Mom’s Friendly Advanced Weapon & Munition Co. But insiders know her as a dangerous, ruthless competitor who will stop at nothing in her pursuit of wealth and power. Once attempted global coup by programming the world’s robots to rebel and overthrow humanity. Had a business partner’s dental fillings pried out and his body fed to jackals. Maintains matriarchal public image through the use of a “fat suit” and attendance at numerous philanthropic fund-raisers, including one she described in private as “some charity BS for knocked-up teenaged sluts.” New member.

#5 Jed Clampett

Net Worth: $11.0 billion

Clampett’s fortune continues to soar alongside the price of oil. Milton Drysdale, new CFO, former family banker, struggling to bring company management up to international standards. Some successes: Jed no longer quoted in annual report as being “happier than a cat at a fish fry” about stock price; shotguns, rifles banned from executive suites. Room for improvement: Saudi Aramco delegation reportedly offended after being served lunch of “possum-fried critter” by provocatively attired Ellie May; one Harvard-trained management consultant dismissed as “green enough to stick in the ground and grow.” Jed increasingly devoted to philanthropic endeavors, recently endowed “Cousins Consanguinity Center” outside of Tahlequah, Okla. Member since 1962.

#6 C. Montgomery Burns

Net Worth: $8.4 billion

Fortune of longtime owner and operator of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant hit hard after U.S. Environmental Protection Agency attempted to contain pollution by enclosing Springfield in a giant glass dome. Rioters subsequently ransacked city, looted Burns Manor, made off with priceless treasures, including suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in, first draft of the Constitution with the word “suckers” in it, robotic Richard Simmons. Despondent, Burns reportedly told assistant Smithers, “I don’t believe in suicide, but if you’d like to try it, it might cheer me up to watch.” Still, stands to profit greatly from reconstruction contracts in now dome-less Springfield. Critics call him an ogre, but Burns is unbowed: “I ought to club them and eat their bones!” Member since 1989.

#7 Carter Pewterschmidt

Net Worth: $7.2 billion

Longtime poker partner of Bill Gates and Michael Eisner recently discharged from Betty Ford Center following treatment for sleeping pill addiction. Long-term prognosis unclear; overheard saying, “Sleeping with the pills is better than sleeping with my wife.” Reportedly won CNN in game of Texas Hold ‘Em, only to have Ted Turner sheepishly admit that he doesn’t own the network anymore; violently dismissed counteroffer of Time Warner stock as “worthless.” Tumultuous personal life; son-in-law placed restraining order on him following alleged assault with ancient statuette; loveless marriage; said to love money above all else. New member.

#8 Bruce Wayne

Net Worth: $7.0 billion

Wayne Industry profits up significantly due to sale of “Brother Eye” spy-satellite technology to U.S. government. Meanwhile, Wayne himself subject of ongoing FBI investigation after top-secret military prototypes are “lost” from company storage. Renowned playboy, fixture of the Gotham social scene, Wayne recently spotted canoodling with Silver St. Cloud, Drew Barrymore, Lindsay Lohan. Professional life occasionally intrudes on personal; annual all-black-attire party at Hamptons estate disrupted by swarm of razor-beaked robot penguins. Tongues continue to wag concerning Wayne’s longtime habit of keeping teenage boys as “wards,” rumored rubber suit fetish. Member since 1939.

#9 Thurston Howell III

Net Worth: $6.3 billion

Value of Howell Industries skyrocketing after New York state attorney general’s office abruptly dropped investigation into tax evasion, money-laundering charges following rambling, bumbling grand jury appearance by whistle-blower known only as “Gilligan.” Despite legal clean slate, Howell remains firmly ensconced on remote Pacific Island with skeleton staff of trusted associates. Now becoming major private-equity player; recently took largest remaining U.S. maker of ascots, bamboo radios, martini glasses private; distrusts technology, particularly GPS navigation systems. Member since 1964.

#10 Tony Stark

Net Worth: $6.0 billion

Stark Industries dominates headlines following alleged misdeeds of security personnel in Iraq and Afghanistan. Regardless, family controlled company saw sales surge thanks to contacts forged after Stark appointed head of global law-enforcement unit S.H.I.E.L.D. New line of “Hulkbuster” armored suits won $6.2 billion Department of Defense contract. Legendary playboy Stark reportedly toning down wild ways following death of friend Captain America; rumored to have taken up knitting, mah-jongg. Sold rights to life story to Hollywood interests; biopic due out next spring. Member since 1963.

#11 Fake Steve Jobs

Net Worth: $5.7 billion

Alter-ego of Apple chief had much better year than real-life counterpart. Real Steve: Options back-dating scandal, iPhone apology, digital rights management troubles. Fake Steve: Outed by The New York Times as Forbes editor, published book, invented words like “frigtard” and wrote posts like “Dell Polishes a Turd” for a living; other Forbes hacks jealous.

#12 Gomez Addams

Net Worth: $2.0 billion

Descendant of Castilian royalty and British aristocrats owes fortune to quirky–and lucky–investment style: bought a swamp for “scenic value,” subsequently discovered massive oil deposit underneath; purchased mummified hand at flea market, later determined to be priceless remains of Egyptian pharaoh. Extensive holdings include insurance company, salt mine, tombstone factory, buzzard farm. Known for eccentric behavior, including affinity for sword fighting, Halloween tradition of bobbing for live crabs. Doesn’t like to write checks for odd amounts; always rounds up. Passionate collector of toy trains: once bought a railroad simply so he could crash real steam engines. Reportedly spends a thousand dollars a week on cigars. New member.

#13 Willy Wonka

Net Worth: $1.9 billion

Eccentric, reclusive candy maker continues to struggle. Heir apparent Charlie Bucket, now 15, becoming more interested in girls and less in Oopma-Loompas, while Bucket’s aged grandparents remain drain on management’s time, attention. Loompas growing more financially sophisticated; recently insisted on being paid in cash rather than in cocoa beans; Wonka bottom line, net worth adversely affected. Despite strained labor relations, immature management, Wonka still turns out finest candies on planet; company looking to fast-developing China and India for future growth. Member since 1964.

#14 Lucius Malfoy

Net Worth: $1.6 billion

Patriarch of ancient wizarding family still standing after defeat of Dark Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Malfoy, himself a convicted criminal and Azkaban prison escapee, miraculously managed to avoid being sent back to jail thanks to well-timed “donations” to charities supported by influential Ministry of Magic employees. Now reunited with family and unfettered by criminal charges, Malfoy is aggressively pursuing new business enterprises. In June, attempted to corner the global cauldron market. In August, sold short more than $1 billion worth of Galleons, forcing Gringotts Bank to devalue and withdraw the currency from the Wizardly Exchange Rate Mechanism. Member since 2005.

#15 Princess Peach

Net Worth: $1.3 billion

Heiress to the Mushroom Kingdom nearly doubled personal net worth after terms of divorce from hero plumber Mario awarded her a fortune in gold coins. Said to enjoy tennis and go-kart racing, owns over 600 outfits in the same pink color. But life has not always been easy for Peach, who has been kidnapped repeatedly since childhood by Bowser, king of the turtle-like Koopa race. Trauma evident, say friends; Peach fantasizes that she has ability to float in the air for several seconds; mutters about “Goombas,” “Cheep Cheeps,” “Bob-ombs.” New member.

List compiled by Forbes.