The United Nations held a secret meeting of the Security Council today called by former US President Barack Obama. The council, which is bound by law and treaty to meet only with official members of the US Government, released a statement:

“The Security Committee met today with our old friend Barack for falafel and beers. It was not an official meeting. There was nothing recorded and no official business discussed. We asked him here because we — quite frankly — miss intelligent conversation with American statesman. It’s been a while.”

The meeting may not have been “official,” but our source on the inside says they are definitely discussing official business:

“They discussed different ways to remove Trump from power without disturbing the American electorate. Several methods were suggested, with assassination being one of the favorites. The problem with that was that nobody wants him to go quickly and painlessly with a head shot. “From what I saw, the plan is to move forw3ard and leave the fate of the American President to the Clintons to deal with.”

The Clintons will, of course, be sitting on their front porch on camera drinking lemonade when our president is killed if there’s any truth to the report, smiling away and knowing exactly how it happened.

Obama Watcher is keeping a close eye on this story and will update you as soon as possible.