Author's Note: So, whilst this is very much inspired by Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, it is not as simple as: Anna= Lizzy and Elsa= Darcy, hate-to-love, THE END (though I think we all know who Hans represents…).

Though I am English myself, and have put many words into the Online Etymology Dictionary (I want to marry that website), I can't promise that every single word and phrase is historically accurate. The primary aim of this is to entertain, so I have not treated this like a history essay. Additionally, Austen was writing at a time when a heroine having 'lustful' thoughts/ behaviours would be quite shocking for a book of that genre. I have taken a little bit more liberty, because I feel like Anna is not quite as sheltered as she appears in Frozen.

I'm gonna stress the 'inspired by Pride and Prejudice' bit again, in case people begin commenting in disappointment at this not being Pride and Prejudice with some character deviation and a bit of homophobia. I like to think twisting it is far more interesting, you don't know the outcome that way…

For reference, 'Almany' is the former name of Germany (well, one of many).

Well, this turned into an essay!

Please read and review!

'Don't Sue Me' Disclaimer:

If it sounds like it came from Pride and Prejudice, all rights go to Jane Austen. I do not own Pride and Prejudice.

If it sounds like it came from Frozen, all rights go to the writers of Frozen. I do not own Frozen.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that the sole benefit of being orphaned, was the money you consequently inherited.

At a time when a woman's financial status either trapped her in a cage or let her spread her wings, a few thousand pounds had the ability to move the receiver from grief to joy.

Anna Smith's parents were not concerned with money. They were quite probably discussing the news of there being a new tenant due to move into Netherfield. He was Almain, and desired to rename the building… rename the building…

'Kai?' Anna called.

The lone servant of Arendelle was with her in seconds.

'Miss Smith?'

'What did you say that titillating young- uh- our new neighbour, I mean…'

Kai waited, years of being in Miss Smith's service enabling him to keep a straight face.

'...what did you say he wanted to name his house?'

'Layben-Roweener,' Anna parroted a moment later, accurate in her pronunciation, but mentally butchering the spelling. 'Layben-Roweener. What do you think it means?

Kai bowed his head. 'I'm afraid I do not speak the language, though I can make enquires if you wish.'

Anna shook her head. 'It's better as a surprise,' she said dreamily. 'That will be all, Kai.'

She crept into the hallway and stopped just short of the sitting room door.

'Did you hear, Mr. Smith, that there is to be a new resident in our little neighbourhood?'

'I did indeed, my dear. In fact, I spoke with him just yesterday and he already seems to have taken a shine to our Anna.' Mr. Smith paused. 'I told him on no uncertain terms that he was not allowed to court her, of course.'

Both Mrs. Smith and Anna let out cries of horror, Anna's hastily muffled by her hand.

'You did what?!'

Mr. Smith laughed.

'Why, we must also dissuade Anna from warming to him too.'

'Sir, whatever for?'

'Do you not remember your own youth, Mrs. Smith?'

Mrs. Smith remarked drily that it had been a rather long time ago.

'The more you tell the young not to do something, the more they will do it!'

Anna could picture the gleam in her father's eye.

Such a match-maker… this is where I get my romantic tendencies!

'I happen to think he's a fine fellow, in all truth,' Mr. Smith continued.

'He certainly has rather fine legs,' murmured Mrs. Smith-

Well, it was in fact Anna who had that particular thought about the new resident of 'Layben-Roweener'…

Her thoughts had drifted.

The sitting room fell silent.

Anna liked to think that her parents were having that conversation…

In Heaven.

She sighed. Sniffed a little, perhaps, and wiped her eyes, but nothing extravagant.

It had been three months, after all.

Kai rang the bell for lunch. It was already midday.

Midday!

Hadn't Kai said that the handsome foreigner was going to move in today?

Anna ran to the window.

She had never seen such a derrière.

'Never before have I desired to place my mouth on such an area,' Anna quoted, as she watched the man unload his belongings from the carriage.

It had been emotional, sorting through her parents' possessions.

Her father's watch, her mother's jewellry, her father's paintings, her mother's books…

They'd had a small library, of course.

Anna suspected, however, that had her mother had the opportunity to dash back home before drowning at sea, she would have let that small collection drown with her.

How Anna had reacted when she first turned the page!

And how I reacted once I kept reading…

She'd never known a story book to be so… informative. Whoever knew, that between a woman's legs there was-

The book was very European, both in style, and ideas.

To be crass, I went from Sundays at Church, to Sundays busy alone in bed…

Mother and Father wouldn't have wanted me to spend my days weeping-

Though this was unlikely to be what they'd had in mind.

To be fair to Anna, it must be told that Sunday was the only day that she had the house to herself, Kai and the Cook and the maid all attending Church.

Besides, with her parents gone, Anna's interest in God had waned slightly.

Her neighbour went back out to the carriage and had his arms filled with more bags and boxes.

How much he owns! How rich he must be!

And he carries it in himself, rather than asking the servants, how unusual…

How European…

Anna swooned.

Such hair!

Such sideburns!

Such a jawline!

On his way back up the path, the man dropped a small box, and bent down to pick it up.

Anna drooled.

I'm going to Hell.

If it even exists.

...I'm a heretic. The Devil has saved a seat for me, that's almost certain-

'Miss, your soup is getting cold,' Kai murmured next to her.

Anna attempted to manipulate her features into something less lustful.

'Thank you, Kai,' she said, reluctantly following him into the dining room.

'His name is Bösewicht-Kerl,' Kai informed her, producing a slip of paper. 'I thought you would appreciate seeing it written down, with the correct spelling etc.'

She read Kai's elegant hand. "Hans Bösewicht-Kerl… Anna Bösewicht-Kerl…'

Kai politely pretended not to hear.

Anna had not become rich as a result of the will.

As a result of Primogeniture laws, most of the Smith's wealth had gone to Anna's much older cousin, a man Kai said lived far away (he seemed to be not sorry about this fact), and who had the unfortunate name of Weaselton.

When Anna turned 21, Mr. Weaselton was permitted to entrust Anna with as much money as he wished to grant her. Again, it was not an obscene amount, but it was enough to let her be choosy about her future husband.

The amount Anna had so far inherited largely allowed her the distinction between 'hoping her One True Love was either also poor, or sufficiently blinded by her good looks' and 'knowing her One True Love would overlook her small fortune, because she was The One'.

'It's enough to entice potential suitors, Joan!' she cried.

Joan smiled. 'My sweet sister,' she whispered, as Anna wrapped her in a warm hug. 'As if you were not enticing enough already!'

Their spirits were high.

The news of the will, finally confirmed after all these months, had brightened their lives.

'How nice of them to leave us both so much!' Anna murmured, draping herself across the sofa- her sofa now.

'Mother knew I loved her earrings,' Joan sighed. Her eyes filled with tears. 'I'm not sure I can bring myself to wear them. So many memories…'

'Joan,' Anna said, firm but kind, 'we have wept and mourned. Today it is time for us to put on our brave faces, and start living our lives again. They wouldn't want us to be sad.'

Joan pulled herself together.

Anna wiped a stray tear of her own. Out of her and Joan, she was the strong one.

Think happy thoughts, Anna. Think about your new life now-

Oh, what a life she was going to lead!

'Are you excited for the ball next week?' Joan asked. 'I heard our new neighbour is hosting.'

Kai had told Anna the details over lunch. Mr. Bösewicht-Kerl was not, as Anna had feared, bringing many ladies.

In fact, rumour had it he was bringing none at all.

'It's like the start of a romance novel,' Anna sighed, keeping it evasive. Joan was never to know what filth she read- it would corrupt her innocent soul.

'Always a hopeless romantic!' Joan teased.

'Aren't you hoping to meet a handsome young man?' Anna asked.

Joan blushed. It was confirmation enough.

'And then we can host a small gathering of our own here at Arendelle!' Anna exclaimed. It was half the size of Netherfield, but perfect for more intimate balls.

'Do you want to?' Joan asked, shocked. 'We haven't since… well, you know…'

'It's time to open up the gates again,' Anna declared. 'I can meet The One!'

'You'd be the luckiest girl in England, if the first man you met was your future husband!' Joan said wisely. 'You can't judge by looks and first impressions alone.'

Oh Joan, but you haven't seen Mr. Bösewicht-Kerl…

'He'll sweep me off my feet, and we'll dance and talk all night long, and share chocolate and strawberries!' Anna sighed, twirling round the room with Mr. Bösewicht-Kerl.

I bet I'll have to strain my neck to look up at him…

After a few minutes of passionate dancing, Anna flopped back down on the sofa again.

It was completely unladylike, but that was another benefit of having dead parents… even Kai barely told her off anymore.

She thought about her handsome new neighbour until the thoughts became a bit too much.

'I must retire early,' Anna informed Joan.

'Before dinner? Are you quite well, Anna?'

'I'm so excited I dare say I won't sleep a wink,' Anna said, 'but I crave some rest. It's been an intense time lately.'

Anna hated playing the orphan card, but she could hardly tell Joan that she planned on fishing out a certain book from between the cracks in her floorboards and… really letting go.

'Sweet dreams, Anna,' Joan whispered. 'We can discuss the ball in much more detail after dinner.'

'We have to plan what to wear!' Anna exclaimed. 'Father always said that green brought out my eyes…'

Later that night, thoroughly sated and a little… sticky… Anna had one final thought before sleep claimed her:

Mr. Bösewicht-Kerl and I can talk for hours, and then I won't be alone anymore...