Not all sex on Game of Thrones is created equal. Sure, the HBO fantasy drama has (not unfairly) developed a reputation for gratuitous violence and sexual relations of all configurations—man on woman, man on man, sorceress on man, brother on sister—but some of that stuff matters.

Sex is wielded in Westeros, like everything else, as a form of power. If you're demanding it the way Daenerys tells her bearded underling to strip, it's a good sign you're in charge. (Though if the power-sex turns into sadism, à la Joffrey or Ramsay, you might be headed for a precipitous downfall.) Of course, sometimes bare boobs are just bare boobs. The showrunners are not above giving us some Emilia Clarke fan service to keep our attention while guy-whose-name-we-can’t-remember rambles about a subplot we’ll quickly forget. And sex is often a relief—for the characters and the viewers. You need something to break up all the beheading, impaling, and disemboweling. In a very dark world, it’s just about the only bright spot, as Tyrion would happily tell you while drunkenly nuzzling several prostitutes.

As an admirer of Game of Thrones’s more primal pleasures, I rewatched every moment of nudity and sex (including more incest than anyone asked for)* on the show so far—all 79 of them—and ranked them based on narrative value. You’re welcome.

*For the purposes of this list, nudity and/or sex must last at least several seconds and be clearly in focus.

79. A Faceless Man's Ass (Season Two, Episode Seven)

Jorah Mormont talks to a woman about dragons as she tattoos the back of a man whose ass crack is in public view and who contributes nothing to the conversation.

As relevant as: Demi Lovato's app to people older than 14.

78. A Prostitute Shows Off Her Ass (Season Five, Episode Three)

Tyrion and Varys are drinking inside the Game of Thrones equivalent of Hooters, and a woman who's proffering her services walks by in a risqué outfit. "Curious...hair," Tyrion says.