Actress Emma Watson (Mario Anzuoni/Reuters)

Emma Watson is nearly 30 years old, which is making her slightly anxious. In an interview with British Vogue — a magazine with a real knack for getting celebrities to say stupid things — the activist actress said that she prefers to call herself “self-partnered” than single.

Got that? Not “whole.” Not “complete.” Not “doing fine, thank you very much.” Self-partnered. Of course, Watson is not the first one to coin a new-age BS phrase like this. Gwyneth Paltrow described her divorce as “conscious uncoupling.” James Franco — whom, coincidentally, I recently passed on the street — interviewed his “female self” for Vice magazine.


When are such celebrities going to realize that they’re dull, not special?