This generation of young men in their 20’s enjoy hooking up with older women, “cougars” or “milfs.” This is a relatively new phenomenon. The term “MILF” only just entered pop culture 14 years ago when the movie American Pie became a smash hit. Today, I asked a 60 year old man if hooking up with older ladies was fashionable in the 70s. He replied that for a young strapping lad of 20-30 years old to put his pencil in a 50 year old beast would be disgusting and shameful back then. But why do young men enjoy hooking up with cougars when, in 2014, there is a very steady supply in the United States of young, nubile sluts who are just as willing and much hotter?

Less Effort

Saturday night, a cougar in her mid 30s, seated alone at the bar, started calling out to my friends and I. An acquaintance of mine moved in to talk to her, and it was evident within about 15 minutes she was DTF, as she sat on his lap at the bar, rubbed her vag on his jeans, and even bought our friend a drink because it was his ‘birthday’ (another great lie to use occasionally).

Reason #1: 100% of the time you get laid, every time.

The Easy Upper Hand: Young Men Have Low Self Esteem

We eventually bounced to another bar and left my friend and his cougar to do their thang. I was surprised at his willingness to stick with the cougar since he was tall, in shape, good looking, and not socially awkward; he could easily have hooked up with a hotter girl. According to his friend, he ‘does this all the time’ because he likes to be able to be the ‘dominant one.’ This makes sense in a weird way; a beta male can act to ‘cougars’ like he is god’s gift to women, and not put up with any of her shit, whereas he puts the truly hot 20 year old’s pussy on a pedestal and loses his mojo. Ironically, if he were to use this ‘not give a fuck’ attitude when interacting with the hottest of the hot, he would have a higher success rate with actual hot girls.

Reason #2: Good looking (beta) men are comparatively Alpha to post-wall cougars.

High Bedroom Smut Level

I’ve hooked up with a few cougars/milfs in my day. One was 33 and had the biggest, floppiest natural boobs of any woman I’ve ever hooked up with. Another was 42, and kept her body in tip top gymnasium shape, and also had huge fake boobs (I was winging for my friend who hooked up with her smoking hot 19 year old daughter, but that’s a whole other can of worms). In both cases, these girls worshipped my dick and begged me to use their bodies however I wanted. Maybe their parts arent as perky or tight as a 20 year old, but it’s a fun time for a night at least. It’s game on for all that crazy milfhunter type shit you see in brazzers!

Reason #3: Cougars don’t say “no” to any of that dirty shit in the back of your mind.

Drunk Goggles

What do cougars, fatties, and butterfaces all have in common? If liquor nor birth control existed, they would all have an extremely difficult time getting a man to shoot their load inside them. Because you would not want your bastard kid to be fat, ugly, or have some birth defect from being born to 40 year old on the brink of menopause. I’m no exception, either; I can count on two or three hands the number of girls I have hooked up with sober, whereas it takes me at least six or seven to count the total number aka drunken hookup number. As every guy knows first hand, once you get good and liquored up, your dick takes over your brain and magnifies the singular attractive quality a woman a la: “Yea she’s over the hill but those boobies will be super fun for titty fucking!” I’ve told many girls the sober morning after a night of drunken passion ‘Hey, that was fun but let’s not do it again, I’d rather not risk our friendship.’

Reason #4: Men are led around by their dick when they are fucked up.

The cougar/cub phenomenon is real and by my observation is steadily increasing. A recent trip to the shadiest of the shady bars in my home city of Chicago included a run in with far to many 40+ over the hill women out to get straight LAID (sidenote: why is it that if 40+ year old men were in these joints, they would quickly be shamed as ‘creepy’?). As much as LaidNYC wishes that eligible men would stop giving cougars the time of day, it doesn’t seem like it will happen. Thirsty, drunken betas line up at the troth looking for easy, slutty cougar sex because they don’t have the balls to go after an actual hot girl their own age or younger like they should. Recall that Finch, the one who hooks up with Stifler’s mom in American Pie, is the clear loser of their group of friends.

Cougar/cub hookups are a signal of how our society is “progressing.” The mainstream media tells us that these women are ‘empowered.’ I have found that in general, they are mostly bitter because their husbands either left them or lost attraction for them, or they felt ‘unhappy’ in their marriages and left.

Deep down these cougars know that any man of real, true value knows uses cougars only for their loose vagina, and probably somewhat regrets it the following day when he is sober. And they are actually embracing this and calling it empowerment.

Another interesting aspect of this situation is the entitlement to these old ladies with faces like catcher’s mitts have to hook up with men half their age. I believe it’s a phenomenon of western culture. Several times when I have experimentally hit on Latin American cougars (both in South America and in the U.S.), they have literally told me point blank to stop fucking with them and go hit on their daughters, who were in the same club and ‘much prettier’ (I don’t know why all these moms are going to the club with their daughters, also weird).

Readers, feel free to share your cougar experience/observation. Have you hooked up with an older lady and if so, why?