Chapter 12: Worst birthday ever.

Sixteen years – Twelve years.

It had been almost three months since Elsa's heart was broken for a second time, and fortunately, the princes went back to their respective countries soon after. They'd be coming back to visit every few months though, and that's probably how it would be until Anna got engaged to one of them. It wouldn't happen for a few years at least, but Elsa didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.

At least her shadow (a.k.a, her fiancé) was gone as well. Oh, how she despised him! Even if he was better than Anna's suitors.

A part of Elsa thought now that they were all gone, maybe she could try and talk to Anna, apologize, get close again and pretend her heartfelt confession didn't happen… but another part, her proud part, told her to just continue to pretend she was too busy to spend time with her. She'd kept up the act so far without a single slip-up.

Yes, being away from Anna was pure torture, watching her flirting with the jerks that call themselves princes was torture, spending most of her time with that stupid boy who's obsessed with her was torture, and avoiding them all by focusing on boring books and documents was torture too. But all that combined wasn't nearly as bad as being in the same room as Anna.

There was a time when her sole presence could light up Elsa's day and make her forget all her problems, but those times were long gone; ever since her confession and subsequent rejection, even looking at her was painful. Every time she saw her she just wanted to hug her, to kiss her, to have her all to herself… but that was not possible, and it just hurt to much.

Yes, Anna still loved her, and she still tried to reconnect with her every chance she could, but Elsa just pushed her away. She knew Anna would never love her as much as she did, and at the end trying to force them into a relationship would only hurt them both, so maybe it was best to let go.

Elsa was not usually one to give up on something she wanted, but she convinced herself she wanted to be an exceptional queen more than she wanted to be with Anna. So she devoted herself to her studies and decided to rid herself of all distractions, including her little sister, even if that made her miserable. But that misery was temporary, she was sure; once she was queen, she'd be happy, and she'd probably forget about her feelings for Anna by then, right? It was just a foolish infatuation. At least that's what she wanted to believe.

In that moment she was studying in her room, as usual, hoping her sister wouldn't come and try to distract her or lure her out of her room. She'd been at peace for at least four hours now, but unfortunately she knew she wouldn't get away for long. Why? Because it was her birthday, and there was no way Anna would let her spend it alone in her room, even if they were more distant now than ever before. She knew that, and so she wasn't surprised when Anna's characteristic knocks were heard on her door.

"Elsa? May I come in?" She asked in the sweetest and cutest voice possible, but Elsa still didn't give in.

"I'm busy. Go away Anna." Was her short and cold answer. Anna must have been taken aback by it, because she stayed silent for a moment, probably hurt by her sister's words, but still didn't desist.

"But then how am I going to give you your birthday hug?" She asked, still hopeful.

"I don't need a birthday hug, Anna. I need to concentrate." Elsa said, now more upset.

"Well then… do you wanna build a snowman?" Anna asked instead, not letting herself be discouraged by her sister's negative, knowing full well Elsa loved making snowmen.

"You know I can't use my powers." Elsa retorted automatically, just wanting to get rid of the young girl.

"It's winter! You don't have to use your powers silly." Anna giggled, trying to light up the mood, but she only managed to anger Elsa even more, because every time she insisted, it was more and more difficult for the older princess to refuse. But she knew she couldn't give in, because if she did, she might do something stupid like kiss Anna and that would widen the gulf between them. No, she had to stay away from her until her feelings disappeared, even if that meant hurting her to make her go away. They were sisters after all, she would forgive her in time… right?

"I don't care! I don't want to be with you. I don't even want to see you!" Elsa said with spite in her voice, even though she hated herself for doing this to Anna.

"But…" Anna's little voice trembled, but Elsa didn't give her time to protest.

"Go Away, Anna!" She repeated and, after a hesitant pause, hurried steps were heard as she made her way down the hall. Elsa sighed; this wasn't what she wanted, but what she knew needed to be done, even if now the silence was more overwhelming than ever and the sudden solitude made her want to run away. Run so far away that she collapsed. Maybe that way she wouldn't have the energy to pity and hate herself as she longed to be with Anna.

But there was nothing to do about that now. She had to study… if she actually could now that Anna had disturbed her peace.

Not even fifteen minutes later (during which Elsa just reread one paragraph over and over again without understanding a word), someone knocked on her door once again, just this time it wasn't Anna.

"Elsa? Are you in there?" Came her mother's concerned voice.

"I'm here." She mumbled tiredly as she got up and walked to the door, knowing she couldn't just shut the queen out as she'd done with her sister, even if she was probably going to lecture her for her behavior. "What do you want?" She asked as she opened the door.

"May I come in?" She asked politely, though Elsa knew it really was an order, so she stepped aside to let her pass. Once she was inside, Idunn sat at Elsa's table near the balcony and look expectantly at her, obviously wanting her to join her, something the girl did reluctantly. It was always weird being with her mom; she didn't know her much as they rarely talked, so she wasn't sure if she loved her or, on the contrary, despised her as her father did, so she was always weary on her presence.

"Is… something wrong?" The princess asked when her mother just kept looking at the wintery scene outside, with an almost saddened gaze.

"You could say so." She sighed and paused before turning to look at Elsa. "You see… I have noticed you're been growing more and more distant from us."

"We've never been close to begin with." She answered in an almost accusing tone, but then realized her mistake and sighed. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're right. Your powers have kept us from treating you like our daughter, and I'm sorry about that." The queen said, and Elsa bit her lip to avoid saying what she thought; that it wasn't her powers per se what kept them from connecting with her, but the fear and hatred they felt, thinking she was the witch of the prophecy. "But, you know? Anna's always been there for you, and I know you two love each other very much." Elsa glared at her, not wanting to be reminded of her little sister.

"Don't push her away… she really needs you." The queen pretty much pleaded, but Elsa refused to look her in the eye, instead making a grimace and looking out of the balcony, to the cold snow that only reminded her of the reason her parents had never loved her.

"Okay then." Idunn sighed when she realized Elsa wasn't going to answer her, as she got up. "I'm taking Anna to the market later, and you will come with us." Elsa's eyes immediately shot up to look at her in disbelief, but before she could protest, the queen spoke again.

"That was an order." And with those words, she left.

Elsa cursed Anna for getting their mother involved in this, now she'd have to spend the rest of the day with the two of them! Could her birthday get any worse?

They were in the carriage. Yes, the three of them; fortunately for Elsa, the King had decided to stay at the castle, saying he had duties to attend to. But her sister and mother were with her, the latter doing her best to appear as if she cared for her older daughter. But whether she did or not, Elsa wasn't believing her act one bit, not after having been ignored by the woman for her entire life. But at least she wasn't as annoying as Anna, who feigned excitement about everything and tried to get Elsa to share her enthusiasm, even though the older girl knew it was just an excuse to try and reconnect with her.

Elsa was thinking she should just make a snow storm so they would be forced to return to the palace, when the carriage came to a stop and the Queen exclaimed.

"Hey girls, we're at one of the most renowned dress shops in the kingdom! I know you'll love it, come on." Saying this, she ushered the princesses to get out before doing so herself, completely ignoring Elsa's protests.

"If you knew me at all, you'd knew I hate dresses." Elsa muttered as she was pushed into the shop, by both her sister and her mother.

"Oh, come on, dresses are pretty!" Anna protested.

"And terribly uncomfortable." Elsa pouted.

"It's not like you were going to run or do fencing or something in a dress; you only need to look beautiful and sophisticated." Idunn said, again disregarding Elsa's words, but the older girl didn't bother to retort; she knew her complaints would fall in deaf ears.

"Good morning, your majesty." A tall and thin man, dressed in fine clothes, suddenly came from the back of the shop, and stopped in front of them to make an exaggerated bow. "Welcome to my humble shop. How can I help you?"

"I'm looking for new dresses for my girls." She answered with a polite smile.

"We already have more dresses than we need." Elsa mumbled angrily, only to feel her sister's elbow digging in her ribs a second later. She glared at the younger girl, who glared back at her.

"Then you have come to the right place, your Majesty." He replied. "Just yesterday a new shipment came from France, filled with the latest fashions. They're some of the finest dresses I've seen in a long time, with sizes for all ages."

"Oh! That's fantastic!" The Queen exclaimed, truly excited about the dresses from France. "Please, do show them to us."

"Very well." He said with a pleased smile as he disappeared at the back of the shop, only to return a minute later, followed by servants carrying many bothersome looking dresses. The dresses themselves were horrifying; colorful and gaudy, each dress had a multitude of frills and colorful patterns. Exactly the sort of dresses Elsa hated the most.

"I don't like them. Let's go somewhere else." She said, already backing up to the entrance.

"Nonsense! You're going to try them all." The Queen stopped her with a stern voice and, not wanting to get in trouble, Elsa didn't dare run away. After all, she figured after a few times of refusing to choose a dress, the Queen would get tired, right?

"I. Hate. It." Elsa said for the tenth time as she looked at her mother with a murderous gaze.

"I love it!" Anna exclaimed, referring to the dress Elsa was trying on, and clapping excitedly. In that moment, her sister's angry gaze shifted towards her.

"Yes, it's very elegant and lovely. We'll take it." The Queen said, completely ignoring Elsa's opinion, as she'd done with seven equally tight and uncomfortable dresses before. Elsa let out a whine that was ignored too, before turning to look at her sister with pleading eyes, silently begging her to help her.

"It's so beautiful! I wished there was something like that for me." Anna exclaimed, too absorbed in her contemplation to notice Elsa's silent request for help. The older girl felt utterly betrayed. Also, since when did Anna care about dresses and all that girl-ly stuff? She thought she was on her side!

"There is something similar, princess, would you like to try it on?" The shop owner asked, and laughed at Anna's enthusiastic nods. "Very well, wait here."

"Mother… can we go now?" Elsa asked once the man was out of sight, already feeling exhausted from trying on new clothes that she hated and would only wear once. But the worst part was how what she wanted was being disregarded by both her mother and her sister, on her birthday.

"Not yet. We've only been here for an hour after all." Idunn said, dismissing Elsa's request like it meant nothing.

"But I'm tired! A-and I don't like any of these dresses." Elsa protested, her voice trembling in anger. "I want to go. Now." She practically demanded.

"But Elsa, boys like girls with pretty dresses." Anna interfered. "If you don't dress like a lady, you won't ever get a prince to like you."

So that was the reason Anna was suddenly interested in dresses, Elsa thought. It all made sense now, and it angered her more. She felt jealous knowing Anna was probably seriously considering marrying one of her jerk suitors, and that drove her crazy with anger.

"Our marriage will be arranged, you moron! The princes don't need to like you. Actually, they probably don't." She added in a bitter tone meant only to hurt Anna's feelings.

"Elsa! Why do you have to be so mean?!" Anna chastised her, obviously sick of her trying to ruin her little fantasy at every given opportunity, as tears formed in her eyes.

"I'm not being mean. It's the truth." Elsa retorted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Enough, Elsa!" the Queen shouted at the girl. "Why do you always have to be so negative and rebellious? Why you always act as if we were the enemy? As if your engagement was a punishment?"

"Because you act as if I was the enemy too!" Elsa shouted back, her powers creating a mini storm around her as they responded to her emotions. "You've done so since day one! You've never loved me!" In that moment the princess noticed angry tears were falling from her eyes, brought forth by her confession, and furiously wiped them off. "My engagement is just as excuse to get rid of me." She accused, voice laced with resentment.

"Elsa, that's not…" The queen tried to contradict her, but in that moment, the shop owner returned with the dresses, interrupting them.

"Is everything alright?" He asked unsure, and clearly afraid of Elsa's powers swirling around the store.

"And that's another thing!" Elsa continued her angry ranting, pointing at the expensive clothes. "I fucking hate dresses!" As she said this, she ripped off one of the dress' sleeves.

"Elsa!" The Queen took a step towards her, trying to stop her, but the storm increased in intensity, preventing her from reaching her daughter.

"And I hate shopping!" Elsa continued, this time letting her powers tear apart the dress as she kept talking, leaving the once beautiful garment as a hoe's rags. "But you don't care! You never listen!" She continued, the storm increasing at every word, as well as her anger and hatred, now making things fly around the shop as frost started crawling up the walls.

"Elsa, please, calm down." Anna pleaded, not linking seeing her sister in such a state. She looked crazy.

"Shut up, you stupid brat! I hate you too." And with those hurtful words that she really didn't mean, she ran away, exiting the shop before she could see Anna's eyes fill with tears as a small sob came out her lips.

Elsa ran away as fast as she could, desperate to escape, to forget about everything; her family, her servants, her kingdom… but she knew she couldn't do that. If she left she'd always be a witch, and she'd be hunted and killed as such. But she was so much more than a witch; she was the heir to the throne, the crown princess, and held an incredible magic that did nothing but grow stronger every year, which probably made her the most powerful person in the world.

She wanted to be queen. No. She needed to be queen, and to accomplish that, she shouldn't run, no matter how much she hated the frilly dresses they made her wear, of the etiquette classes, or the stupid princes. She would stay, there was no question about it, but right now she just wanted to be alone and pretend she wouldn't have to deal with her parents once she returned.

Finally, she collapsed in an alley near the outskirts of the city when she felt exhausted and saw no one around. After a few moments to catch her breath, she started thinking about what had just happened.

She had been impulsive, she recognized, and had kind of acted like a spoiled child, but… maybe it wasn't her fault. At least not entirely. Everything she had told her mom had been true, and that's something she'd never before admitted out loud in her life, and thought never would. The problem had been Anna.

Ever since the little redheaded princess had been born, she had been Elsa's only source of happiness; even if she sometimes accidentally got her in trouble, it was all worth it just to see her smile. And then she started loving her as more than a sister, but even though for some time it seemed like her feelings were reciprocated, her hopes were crushed now that those stupid suitors had come in play. And now they barely spoke to each other, or even saw each other, which made Elsa' heart break everyday, and in turn prevented her from seeing the good in life most of the time. All was suffering and pain. And hate and anger. Love wasn't real; no, it was only an illusion.

"Hey! I've found her!" A voice sounded at the entrance of the alley, making Elsa look up to see a guy, tall and scrawny, that had obviously never had a proper bath in his life based on the stench. At his call, other two men like him appeared, and just now the princess realized she was in the poorest part of the city.

When she saw them walking towards her, Elsa got up hastily.

"What do you want?" She asked defensively, crossing her arms and frowning in what she hoped was an intimidating way.

"Nothing really." One of them shrugged. "Just to kill the ice witch that will someday doom us all if we don't stop her." Elsa would've just ignored him in any other day, but in her current state of mind her first instinct was impale him with an icicle.

"You know nothing about me, you're just a bunch of pathetic animals that couldn't tell soup from soap." She replied, trying to keep her cool, but the mini storm that had followed her from the shop picked up again, this time stronger.

"And you're just a witch pretending one day will be a leader for us. Hate to break it to you, kid: Nobody likes you!" The first one she had seen retorted, looking at her with murder in his eyes.

"You wouldn't dare touching a princess." Elsa said, rising up her hands, preparing herself to unleash her magic at a moment's notice.

"A princess? No, but a witch?" The third one smirked dangerously as he pulled out a rusty knife. "We'll do a lot more than just touch you."

The three of them ran towards her, all wielding improvised weapons, like a heavy rock and a piece of wood. Elsa's survival instincts immediately kicked in, and though she was no warrior, she knew her powers would protect her just well.

She threw a blast towards the feet of one of them and made him fall in the snow, before catching the arm of the one wielding the piece of wood and freezing his limb. The one with the rock came next, but she stepped back and pushed him to the other end of the street with a powerful blast of air and snow.

Satisfied, she was going to walk away when she noticed the guy with the knife was already up and trying to stab her. She tried to evade him, but she was too slow, and could only stifle a cry of pain as she felt the blade cut into her ribs.

Elsa was used to feel pain, that's for sure, but even for her this was too much. The wound may not have been that deep, but it was long, and the princess could already feel the blood dropping out of it. This enraged her. How could this stupid man, that wasn't more than human scum, have injured her? She was a princess, and possessed powerful magic! This shouldn't have happened! She wouldn't let him get away with it.

Elsa grabbed the man by his collar and pushed him against the wall of the nearest house, at the same time releasing her powers with as much force as she could, which, considering they were fueled by her emotions, was quite a lot.

It all happened within seconds, and so the princess wasn't able to stop it. She had only wanted to do as much harm to the man as he had done to her, but her magic had other ideas. She watched in horror as the ice spread from the man's chest to the rest of his body, freezing him solid and turning him into a living ice sculpture, with spikes protruding here and there, as he made his final silent cry, before shattering to pieces and merging with the snow, like he'd never even existed in the first place.

Eyes widening, Elsa took a step back before turning to look at the other two men, who were watching her with terrified expressions. As soon as her eyes landed on them they started running for their lives.

"Wait!" Elsa attempted to reach for them, not wanting panic to be spread throughout the kingdom for what had been, in reality, just an accident. However, she was still on edge and wasn't able to control her magic. Against her will, it shot out of her hands and enveloped the men, freezing and shattering them into pieces just like it had done with their friend.

Elsa winced as she fell to the ground, trying to process the reality of what she had just done, and ignoring the tears that were streaming down her face.

She had just killed three men; there was no denying it. And there were no witnesses either, so she would probably remain unpunished for her crime unless she told someone. And of course she didn't plan to; they'd see her as the evil witch of the prophecy, a murderous monster that had to be killed before it had a chance to attack once again… and she had to admit, after seeing what she'd just done in the span of less than a minute, that they would have a point. She was dangerous. Her powers were too powerful to be controlled, especially since they were linked to emotions, mostly negative ones.

She was a murderer.

She was a monster.

She was a witch.

But she was also a princess, and one day she would be Queen. And a Queen doesn't murder her subjects. Not with crazy ice powers, at least.

She had to be strong, to forget about the incident and forgive herself. It shouldn't' be that difficult, right? They had tried to murder her, and she had just defended herself. Just like what had happened with that kid years ago. It wouldn't happen again, she repeated herself. It had been just an accident.

Except she knew, deep down, that it had not been only an accident. A part of her had felt good doing it. A part of her had wanted them dead and her powers had complied. They had acted on their own to please her darkest desires.

But the princess decided to ignore this fact and return to the caste, hoping to forget everything that had happened that day.

A/N: Hi! I'm sorry for my long absence, but I've just been having a lot of homework lately, you know how it is :P

But I hope you liked this chapter nonetheless, and that you leave a review and let me know your thoughts about it. See you soon (I hope) :)

Thanks to all of you for reading, and thanks to my beta readermoonwatcher13.