Three years since the nuclear misunderstanding which led to the third world war ("and it's no idle boast when I remind you that this was the shortest world war on record... two minutes twenty eight seconds... including the signing of the Peace Treaty which is now on sale at Her Majesty's Stationery Office with a free T-shirt") survivors gather together on the former-streets of London.

In amongst the rubble, Captain Kak and his fiancee Penelope find Lord Fortnum, who is convinced he's turning into a bed-sitting room. With property prices what they are, Kak should be on to a good thing.

This atmospheric, surrealist play was originally written by John Antrobus and Spike Milligan.

Adapted by John Antrobus and Paul Merton.

Captain Kak ...... Paul Merton

Lord Fortnum ...... Derek Jacobi

Mate ...... Bernard Cribbins

Penelope ...... Catherine Tate

The BBC ...... Corrie Corfield

Mrs Ethel Skroake ...... Suki Webster

The Vicar ...... John Antrobus

Captain ...... Sean Baker

Seaman ...... Richard Pepple

Music and FX by Jerry Peal.

Director: Sam Michell.

Producer: Victoria Lloyd

First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in December 2015.