Following up on the exploits of the pirate Long Body Crusoe, the time has come for the incredible adventures of Captain Crusoe, grand explorer of the Exumas. In this post I share with you all the unique experiences and places that I explored throughout my trip – like sunken planes, washed up shipwrecks, barracudas, sharks, and more!

[See also Part 1 & Part 2]

So when it finally came time for the ever-so competent, confident and handsome Captain Crusoe to assume command of the ship from Long Body Crusoe, I was excited indeed.

Like any good captain, a journey always start with a good sniff of that sweet smell of the sea!

I then took to my post, which Mum informed me was technically the kitchen table, but to me was my command chair.

From here I could easily shout commands to my helmsman behind me while directing our course ahead.

As we were only a small team and I was by far the most skilled sailor aboard, I had to do much of the hard work myself, such as pulling the lines.

When my duties involved such physical effort, I preferred to remove my uniform – not because I was worried about becoming too hot, but obviously because I needed to show off the sheen of my glistening muscles under the hot Caribbean sun.

Because you never know when a hot chick might be scopin’ you out from afar.

Now my main goal as captain was to explore and experience as much as possible. And one of our first expeditions was to visit this small sunken plane.

And just about every day involved at least one trip to a nearby beach.

With the explorer mentality, it was upon one of these beaches that I declared rightful claim to a new yoga position I invented… which I call “Coconut Zen“.

Now don’t get me wrong – I like sailing – but every time I set foot ashore I was zooming around back and forth, incredibly happy to be on hard ground and to have the chance to burn off some energy!

Following our afternoon visit to the beach, it was back to the boat to spend the evening relaxing.

We always tried to pick the most remote places to anchor – being a celebrity I try to stay away from prying eyes. In the below photo we were anchored in a marine national park, where the only signs of human existence as far as the eye could see were the only two other boats in the bay.

Sailing is unique in that it makes life seem so much simpler – such as the way you go to sleep and wake up by the setting and rising of the sun.

Unlike Mum and Dad, I’m not one to waste the light of day. As soon as the sun cleared the horizon, I was up on the window shelf of our cabin looking down at them with a criticizing gaze.

I don’t know what they were thinking, but a sailing vacation is no time for sleeping in.

Anyway, that morning while anchored in the bay of the marine park, we decided to take the dinghy over to a nearby island. As usual, I always looked forward to and dreaded these rides…

Because as I mentioned at the beginning of Part 1, our trip did occasionally involved wet and miserable moments. It seemed like every time we went out in that dingy, I came back soaking wet from the splash of the waves. On that particular ride above, we hard a long, hard ride coming back against the current.

After almost an hour-long dingy ride of being completely splashed with each wave, we finally made it back to the boat. I was soaking wet and freezing, and so immediately put myself out to dry with the laundry.

Once I was dried off to my satisfaction, we hoisted anchor and set sail to our next destination.

This time, Captain Crusoe took the helm.

However, just when I was clipping a big wave, I heard the characteristic “whizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz” of the fishing line being pulled out. So I immediately brought in the sails to slow the ship as we diverted our attention to the fish!

And as you know, fishing is one of – if not my favorite activity – so I was right there in the midst of the action!

So guess what we caught?!

It was a barracuda at least twice my length!

(Although not sure why Mum felt the need to lift me up as if I were a fish..)

That was a lot of fun, but as is life aboard a sailboat – it’s always onto the next stop!

Which was this cute little marina with cozy villas lined along the dock overlooking the ocean.

It was also here that some young Dutch children took a particular interest in Captain Crusoe.

It was as if they had never seen a dachshund captain before.

It took me a while to pull myself away from those sticky, grabby hands!

“Seriously people, don’t touch the captain’s hat!”

Geez…

Anyway, the next day we went to visit another beach where there was this washed up shipwreck.

(Did you spot me?)

If only Long Body Crusoe were here… he’d probably think it to be a Spanish Galleon laden with treasure and finery.

It was also at this beach that I decided to pull my long-awaited prank on Mum and her family…

I started by inviting them into the water for a little carefree swimming and frolicking.

And then… this happened!

Attack of the SharkWiener!

Hehe!

I got her good. But I can’t blame her – who wouldn’t be terrified of this?!

Thanks to the folks at SwimWays for providing me this awesome shark life vest!

That was fun, but later that evening on the boat, I had another one of my miserable moments.

You see, I had “accidentally” dropped my squeaky ball overboard in a sly attempt to make Dad jump in and go get it. Anyway, it didn’t work out as planned and I lost my squeaky ball… Wherein Mum then proceeded to inform me that I had no other squeaky toys aboard the ship!!

So without further hesitation, I ran to the VHF radio and called out,

“Mayday, mayday. This is Captain Crusoe aboard the Rio. We are out of squeakies. I repeat, we are out of squeakies…”

“We require immediate assistance. I haven’t had a squeak in over 24 hours and am beginning to lose my wits. In fact, I probably have cabin fever. If anybody reads, please send an abundant amount of squeaky balls to our ship at once. Over & out.”

It was only after I had gone through the worst of my panic attack that Mum then exposed her own prank! Yes, she indeed had backup squeakies for me which she was withholding as punishment for my earlier shark attack!

Needless to say, I was quite unhappy, and reticent to ever let go of my squeaky from that point forward.

I guess Mum felt bad, because she then told me about Long Body Crusoe’s secret treasure chest of squeaky toys which was stowed away in the captain’s quarters.

That helped reassure me, and before long I was back to my intrepid self.

[See also Part 1 and Part 2]

So fans, that (almost) concludes my Caribbean sailing trip! That’s right, I said “almost”, because in the 4th and final post comes the full recap in GoPro video version! Get ready!

And in the meantime,

Keep swimmin’,

~ Crusoe

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