The “physical act of love”, howsoever it manifests and between whoever engages in it, should be judged on only 4 things:

Does it flow from open honesty and common interest?

Is it freely chosen by those involved, and mutually consented to, with all capable of true consent?

Does it improve the well-being of all involved, providing a positive experience – or at least an honest attempt at one?

Does it promote love?

By honesty, do not assume that all participants must know everything about one another, only that no factor relevant to the encounter is concealed.

When considering consent, do not look merely for assent, but the capability and knowledge to truly understand and appreciate that which is consented to, and the immediate capacity to reach such a conclusion without interference – and freedom from coercion, even that which is indirect.

Do not be too quick to presume you understand what constitutes a positive experience for another person, and do not judge harshly when honest attempts fail honestly.

Be open to forms and understandings of love that you do not expect; love need not imply romance or attachment between those that are involved in the act, but can encompass their approach to the world subsequently. Where a person can cope with their life better, love is promoted. Where they can better help others, love is promoted. Love takes many forms.

Lastly, when considering any such judgement, ask one further question…

Why are you judging, anyway?

Written November 2017