April 18th 2015 my 25th birthday and roughly 4 years of consistent weekend drunkenness passed this weekend and with it an epiphany hit me. At 21, drinking was an event I looked forward to all week because it was my liquid courage to talk to women and excuse to let loose, just like my pre workout was an excuse to go to the gym and get those ugly jitters out. The question of “Why can’t I just be that same extroverted drunken self sober?” hit me like a sack of rocks.

Being so into health, drinking has always been my guilty pleasure, that feels near impossible to shake off. I’ve gone out plenty of times sober and noticed when I fed off of the environment or even my friend’s drunken craziness, their extroverted vibe osmosed onto myself. The feeling of being “In State” after talking to dozens of strangers (mostly women) while sober was 10x more rewarding, mostly because I was 100% aware of my surroundings and feelings, but yet had that high off of feeling unapologetic for all my actions I only got while drinking.

My goal now is to strive to be my drunken self as much as humanly possible (in social events mostly), but to clarify not the obnoxious loud, rude, and annoying drunk self, just my confident, social, and grounded version that lies somewhere between buzzed and drunk for only a few minutes then dissipates. If there’s one thing that bothers me most while in the process of reaching my goals health, wealth, love, and happiness wise it’s when I feel myself relying on a person, object or ritual as a crutch.

What are your crutches in life? Pre-workouts used to be mine until I realized how counter productive they were to my health and surprisingly my psyche. As I age I hope to kick off those crutches that I rely on for comfort and want this epiphany to help you too.

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