10 Bible Passages That Prove Jesus Was a Working Class Skinhead

Experts agree: If The Hard Times is proficient at one thing it’s Biblical scholarship. But, as you know, there is an abundance of misinformation floating around the internet. So in an effort to set the record straight, we gathered our finest team of Christologists to curate 10 Bible passages that prove — without a doubt — that Jesus, our Lord and Savior, was a working class skinhead.

1. Hebrews 2:12 – He says, “I only listen to Skrewdriver for the music, not their politics.”

2. John 3:14 – Then Jesus shaved his head into a number 1 crop and lamented over the death of Micky Fitz.

3. Ecclesiastes 9:7 – Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, drink Guinness and moonstomp your way to glory!

4. Proverbs 13:4 – Is my job at the Apple Store working class? Yeah, right?

5. Psalm 95:1 – O come, let us gather in the streets and shout Cock Sparrer lyrics with all our mates!

6. Timothy 4:7 – Jesus proclaimed, “Let’s don our finest Fred Perry shirts, head to the football match, and wear our little scarves, too!”

7. Job 2:11 – When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Terminate, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamthite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes to take crew photos with all the blokes.

8. Philippians 3:2 – “Don’t tell me that we’re wrong/ The way we think, the way we live/ United skins, that’s our goal/ All our pride, it shall stand tall/ If you get in our way, you shall fall.”

Fuck, those are Warzone lyrics. Sorry!

9. Leviticus 19:28 – Ye shall mark your flesh with stick and poke tattoos crafted by your sketchyass friends: I am the lord.

10. Thessalonians 5:16-18 – Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!, etc.

Any Bible passages we missed? Let us know in the comments below!