A man has smeared his own faeces down the side of a car right in the middle of a dealership – all because he was denied a financial reward for returning a set of allegedly lost keys.

Yep, that’s right: a 27-year-old human male, standing (or squatting) in a car dealership, actually curled one down into his own hand and then rubbed it along the side of a display car. The resident of Great Falls, Montana also punched a quarter panel of the car so hard he caused $1500 of damage. America is a wonderful place.

We don’t know which dealership or even which brand was involved (we’re using generic pics), but apparently after Bryce Steven Boos walked into the building and ‘returned’ some branded keys he says he found on the sidewalk, he asked for a reward – bad enough in itself.