As the National Rifle Association’s new special assistant to the executive vice president for public communication, people sometimes ask me why the NRA hasn’t said anything about Philando Castile.

And my answer every time is, “Philando who?”

They tell me something about how he was a legal, registered gun owner with a concealed carry permit who was unlawfully killed by police, but I’ve never heard of such a thing. That sort of thing doesn’t happen in the America I know.

I’ve even tried Googling “Philando Castile” at the NRA offices, and nothing comes up.

Honestly, I have no idea who this Philando person is. I have never heard anything about him.

I’ve even tried Googling “Philando Castile” at the NRA offices, and nothing comes up. It’s almost like he doesn’t exist — or never even existed — at least according to the internet I access at work, which is not censored in any way, shape, or form. I mean, we’re the NRA, freedom’s safest place.

We’re not China, where lots of the internet is blocked by leaders who go after protesters and the press for criticizing them. That’s why, in the NRA ad titled “The Violence of Lies,” I called on Americans to fight against protesters and the media for criticizing the NRA and trying to destroy this great country. They’re trying to turn us into China, where people have no rights, especially the right to own guns without fear of being killed by those in authority.

The NRA is the oldest civil rights organization in America. We are all about civil rights.

Now who is this Philando guy, again?