"Over the past three years we have seen an increase of almost 20 per cent in this age group accessing RSVP through our mobile app," Romero says. Phillipa's initial motivation for going online was to meet a man to spend "happy months or years with", but so far she hasn't met her prince. What she has done is revise her priorities and adjust her expectations. Loading "I haven't minded [not meeting anyone]," she says. "I'm adding interest and variety to my life by having contact with people I wouldn't meet any other way. Anything else is a bonus." Her dating journal gives a taste of what it's like to be in the online dating scene these days. One entry reads: "Nice guy, bipolar, has travelled a lot. He first rang me from Russia, then Rome, and then the UK, often in the middle of the night. He lives out of town, disastrous marriages, estranged from children and family. Grandiose plans to make money, build a house in a remote location accessible by helicopter. I liked him, but really …"

Sydney psychotherapist and relationship expert Melissa Ferrari works with many older female clients who are new to digital dating. "In lots of cases they've gone through a divorce or their partner has passed away, and they're looking to find new love in a modern landscape that has completely changed from the last time they were single," she says. "For some, it's exciting and they embrace online dating and apps and have found it successful, but for others it's completely terrifying." Loading For single mum Miriam*, 46, online dating hasn't been so much frightening as it has been disheartening: "It's been like 50 shades of disappointment." She's had numerous experiences that left her shaking her head in disbelief, such as when a date turned up late to a restaurant and had conveniently forgotten his wallet. "He also decided a great topic of conversation would be why he had lost his job and had to move back in with his parents," she says. "Or there was another one who's opener was to show me graphic photos of his ex-wife, who was in hospital, literally on her deathbed."

Miriam began looking for love on Tinder after her marriage broke down. "The quick fix was to meet men online and be reassured I was still attractive and wanted," she says. "I became a cliché: falling into a cycle of meeting men online and hooking up for sex." This continued for a year before Miriam decided to try other sites such as RSVP, Plenty of Fish and eHarmony. "I wanted a relationship, not just sex," she says, "and that was much harder to find." Loading While she had two short-term relationships, she found the experience overall "deeply disappointing". These days, she's focused on the present moment rather than looking "under every rock for a full-on relationship … The best man for me now is the one who's making me laugh, offering to buy me a drink, popping over to give me a hand with something or sharing a coffee and a chat." The advent of online dating and smartphones has led to the phenomenon of sending sexually explicit photographs or messages via mobile phones, known as sexting. While attention has mostly focused on younger people and sexting, older women have also experienced it.

"Sexting is not new," says Miriam. "It's been around for years and I've certainly received my share of unsolicited dick pics!" Miriam has also sent erotic messages and nude photos of herself. "I've been asked many times to send nude photos via text," she says. "But these days I almost always say no. Words can still be fun." The excitement of sexting soon wore off for 61-year-old Wendy*. "It's not instant enough for me," she says. "I like real touches. I'd rather have bad sex than sexting. Men think pictures will turn me on, but it's the opposite. A picture of a penis is not pretty!" Wendy, who has never married, joined Tinder and OkCupid several years ago and says she has been disappointed by the importance men place on a woman's physical appearance. "I have been totally honest about my looks," she says. "I'm not going to say I'm size 10 because I'm not, so I put that in my profile. But when I meet up with men, they still look at me like, 'Oh my God, you're fat.' "

Ferrari says digital dating tends to bring up issues of insecurity or selfworth, given that it often revolves around a person's image. "Rejections from potential online suitors might be taken a lot more personally than they should," she says. While there are risks in he world of digital dating (rates of sexually transmitted infection among middleaged women are increasing), there are also advantages for older women. "Being convenient and accessible, online dating may also offer a wider selection of potential partners," says Ferrari. "Especially if they live in a remote area, are shy, or work long hours. It can make life easier, too, for those with teenagers or young adults still living at home." After Anna's* husband passed away, she gingerly entered the world of online dating. "I had a few single girlfriends who were looking for a special person to share their lives with, and one helped me set up my Tinder account," the 57-year-old mother of two says. After a month online, Anna met her current partner. "He turned out to be my Prince Charming," she says. "He's all I could have dreamed for and more."

The couple have been together for 14 months and Anna can't quite believe her luck. "He has my back 100 per cent and supports me," she says. "He gives me confidence and we have the most amazing times together, whether it's lounging around at home, walking in the rain, or sitting on the beach at midnight." Others' experiences aren't quite so dreamy. When Lucinda's* third marriage broke up three years ago, the 55-year-old decided to get back into the dating game. She signed up to Tinder and was a big fan. "I used it just for sex and that was fun," she says. "You knew what it was about: sex without any expectations." Lucinda knew exactly what she was looking for. "Their profile picture had to have no hats, no sunglasses, no kids, no mates, no funny items like a fishing rod or a car, no cartoon characters instead of a photograph, and definitely no other women," she says. These conditions meant she wasn't inundated with matches. "It is a numbers game," she acknowledges, "but if I am going to go out and meet somebody and have a drink with them, I want to make sure that my initial criteria are met." While Lucinda hasn't met her match, she speaks highly of dating apps. "They are fantastic, a great way for people to connect, especially those who may be a bit shy or don't go out a great deal. I'm taking a break for the moment but I would certainly use them again.