The Jacksonville Suns have been an institution here in Jacksonville since 1962. The name and iconic theme song are as much as part of Jacksonville as the St. Johns River and the Jaguars. Oh, I 'member going to so many games as a child and rooting for the Suns. Easily some of the best times of my life, and I've continued that tradition as an adult, and I can not fathom the idea of this glorious team having their name changed to the "Jumbo Shrimp". If you 'member what it's like to root for the Suns, sign this petition. I, for one, 'member.

Also, the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant is once again considering taking away the dental plan from its employees. This is a bad plan because Lisa needs braces.

Side note, if this petition doesn't work, we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...big and yellow like THE SUN. GO SUNS!