So it begins.

“Game of Thrones” returned to the global pop-culture consciousness Sunday nights on HBO, and New Jersey’s legions of fans had many questions about the show’s final season, including:

“Who will win the Iron Throne?"

“Will Jon Snow slay the Night King?”

And most importantly ...

“What would the map of New Jersey look like if it existed in the ‘Game of Thrones’ universe?”

Well, you’re in luck! We at NJ.com have answered that last question as we Thrones-ified the Garden State map and added all the important Jersey landmarks such as the Iron Bank of Murphy, Boss’s Landing and The Scarlet Citadel.

Click on any of the map icons to read more about the mysterious land of New Jerseros (New Jersey, Westeros, get it?). Want your own? Check out the NJ.com Store for framed and unframed poster-size reprints of this map, as it appeared in The Star-Ledger on April 14, 2019.

Illustration by Blake Nelson | NJ Advance Media

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Want your own version? Visit the NJ.com Store.

UNPACKING THE MAP

THE NORTH

Beyond our borders, which are valiantly protected by — well, no one really — lie the Wild People of New York, many of whom revel in the madness of living among Lands of Rock and Oranges. They may walk like us, talk like us and even share in our loathing of the crimson-stockinged chowder slurpers to the wicked Far North, but they are not of New Jerseros blood and thus shall not be trusted.

The Point On High is a grand peak from which the people of Sussex and beyond may survey many lands and foes. It is reached via perilous journey attempted only by the brave.

The Western Wood is a breathtaking expanse of greenery and loyal villages rarely disturbed by the mayhem-driven brethren of houses Bergen and Hudson. It is also a mysterious place, for it does not resemble most other Jersey kingdoms; the savviest men have been known to lose themselves en route to trade furs in Flemington.

The Land of Meadows and Giants is a shapeshifting expanse, a sprawling marsh that bends to the will of the tides, as well as thousands of ale-guzzling minions who worship several dozen Giants. These goliaths may appear to be no more than mere men running amok in tight pants, but do not be fooled.

The Morris Green is a primary trading post in The North where the ancient Acorn Hall still stands proudly. It is a fine place for provisions and ale.

Castle Christie, hidden in the village of Mendham, is home to one of New Jerseros’ most recent lords: a zealous leader who, as legend recounts, once claimed an entire eastern shore as his own while droves of villagers remained in their sweltering inland homes.

Stoneboken and Dragon City are bustling sister villages just west of The World’s Beacon (not pictured). Both towns proudly enjoy their rich cultural histories, but have been marred in recent years by corruption among local lords and overpopulation by devious “hipsters,” who covet their disfavored minstrels and brewers of ale above all else.

Ah, the Brick City, towering capital of The North and former home to a hairless lord who strives not only to unite all nations and vanquish The Bronze Commander, but also seeks to wed a lovely actress hailing from The World’s Beacon. Brick City townspeople venture to The Ironbound for delectable cuisines and occasionally visit a massive iron structure where winter’s ice can be conjured at any time.

The Wicked Railway is a fickle beast. Yes, it allows swift transport across the kingdoms, but this rail is also one of most volatile and maddening entities in all the state. Villagers are at their most vile whilst riding the railway, grooming themselves in public and speaking in tongues as their carriage slows to an ox’s saunter.

THE CENTRAL*

*Maesters debate its existence

The Scarlet Citadel has for hundreds of years resided as New Jerseros’ grandest hall of young maesters, many of whom shy away from their scholarly studies, however, in favor of engorging themselves with loaves of bread stuffed with meat. Many dwellings here bear ancient Greek letterings and are often used as makeshift alehouses.

The Ivy Throne is occupied by a wise tiger prince who welcomes to his grounds the world’s most learned young maesters to study and traipse the paths Nassau and Witherspoon. Centuries ago, a legion of tigers supporting the Ivy Throne battled knights from The Scarlet Citadel in the world’s first Maester Games.

Many who travel New Jerseros’ western roads tell tales of Plasterly Rock, a mystical clearing denoted by two goliath severed heads looming over pathway two-hundred and ninety-five. Beware, fellow travelers: Many who enter this arcane expanse have been turned to stone.

The Iron Bank of Murphy is controlled by the lord of all kingdoms, a wealthy ruler who assumes winter is coming even when it is not. Lord Murphy can be found tending to his mules and touting his magical leafy elixirs, which he claims will conjure even more gold for his cohort.

Castle Dix lies just north of The Barrens and is a mammoth fortress and armory forever prepared for battle. Weaponry and flying machines are tested on the grounds, though few have forgotten the great orb that crashed and burned here many moons ago.

The Banners Six are a group of nobles united in their quest to bring amusement to the citizens of New Jerseros. They have built many towering structures designed for merriment (which can also be used as archers’ posts during invasion). An ungodly amount of exotic beasts also reside here, signifying the Banners’ power within the Central region.

Boss’s Landing binds the Central and Shore-faring regions in their worship of a celebrated minstrel known to many as The Boss. While he does not technically lead this capital city, his word is law and villagers follow him across the kingdoms. While he is away, the Landing is infested with fellows of the abominable Dragon City “hipsters,” who similarly stab their flesh with ink and gather in late mornings for mysterious, extended meals that cost much gold and serve no immediate purpose.

The Finger is the northernmost point of the Shore-faring lands, a sandy, hook-shaped peninsula that welcomes ships back from their nautical exploits. Villagers of neighboring homes visit The Finger to bathe in the nude and hurl insults at grotesque Isle of Staten, which is little more than a mountain of solid waste.

THE SOUTH

The Iron Barrier is New Jerseros’ first defense against sea-born attacks, a series of fishing villages largely maintained by wealthy landholders from The North. The Iron Barrier is slowly being destroyed by the sea itself due to The Great Warming — a maester-proven phenomena uniformly ignored by The Bronze Commander.

Spray-Tan Spear is known for its annual summer gatherings of the powerful Angelo family, a great rival of the loathsome hipsters. Angelos are primarily nocturnal; they rest along the shore during the day and regain their strength after sunset, laying siege to the Spear’s town square as they thrust their muscular fists skyward and consume unholy amounts of ale. Local villagers both love and hate Angelos — they may shout and pillage, but they also spill much gold during their gatherings.

Atlys City comprises a series of dangerous pleasure palaces, where villagers may either turn their gold into more gold, or lose it all in a fox’s blink. It is a city that beams with light and sin, and was once owned in part by The Bronze Commander. It is an alluring kingdom but be warned: Atlys City is, too, a destination of favor for Angelos, many of whom visit the palaces before taking wives from neighboring families the Giannas and Sofias.

The Barrens is the wildest place in all New Jerseros, an immeasurable forest of pines that spreads deep into the heart of The South. The occasion villager can be found wandering the wood, hopelessly lost to the thickets and promise of phantom towns called “Chatsworth” and “Hammonton.” No such places exist.

Eagle’s Garden comprises a number of sizable towns scattered along New Jerseros’ western border, just across the First River from the immense city of Franklin’s Bell (not pictured). People here speak in a nearly incomprehensible dialect and rely heavily on small but plentiful Goose Markets for sustenance. They live humble but prosperous lives.

The Devil’s Hearth can only be described as a living hellscape from which unbridled evil broils and occasionally manifests as the New Jerseros Devil, a hybrid creature capable of unspeakable deeds. The Devil was last seen in its true form by Eagle’s Garden townspeople about a century ago, and has since infiltrated the state’s political system, taking the shape of local senators and devising dark, inhumane ploys such as The Wicked Railway and a structure perversely labeled the “American Dream.”

Campbell’s Crossing lies just north of Eagle’s Garden and is controlled by wealthy purveyors of stews and broths. These merchants keep much of the wealth for themselves, however, as the Crossing is among the most impoverished kingdoms in all The South. Villagers from the North sometimes venture to the Crossing’s waterfront to view exotic sea serpents and waterfowl.

Old Tourist City can be found at New Jerseros’ southernmost tip, an oasis of frozen sweets and sun-soaked luxury enjoyed by only the eldest villagers and their families. Maesters fear that even the slightest artillery assault will cause the weathered earth beneath Old Tourist City to crumble and sink into the sea.

While most of New Jerseros is not regarded for its agriculture, The Sacred Soil is a fertile tract of farmland to the southwest. Villagers here produce their own food, and if the Wild People of New York ever cross the northern border to wage war, the Soils will be the ones to survive in their cellars flush with blueberries and wine. Only then will The North mock The Sacred Soil no more.

King’s Turnpike is New Jerseros’ main thoroughfare, running a treacherous path from south of Eagle’s Garden to The World’s Beacon. The King’s Turnpike is a reasonably tame stretch through The South, but the levels of carriage congestion reached in The Central and North often lead travelers to believe the road has been bewitched by the Jerseros Devil himself.