I used to think threesomes were lame. I wasn’t one of those poly people (like so many poly people I love and fuck) who spent a great deal of time fantasizing about group sex. I liked having sex around other people who were having sex, but I thought that threesomes were just hopelessly awkward, both physically and emotionally.

Times change.

These days, I actually probably spend more time having triadic sex than dyadic sex. My partners constantly laugh at me for my previous dislike of threesomes, and I point out to them that I’ve learned a lot about the ways to have good threesomes over the last year. For me, I personally find threesomes are vastly better when 1. There are clearly established sexual and emotional relationships between all parties (less angst + more chemistry = better sex) and 2. None of the people involved require any form of intercourse in order to feel that a satisfying sexual encounter has occurred.

All of the rest of this post will be focused on cis-gendered FFM/FMF (two gals, one guy) threesomes because they’re the only ones I have sufficient information to write about usefully. I’m assuming that these are all threesomes (that is, where everyone is having sex with everyone else) and not what I call veesomes, which are triadic encounters in which two people are having sex with one person and have no intention of having sex with each other (usually sexual orientation restrictions apply).

So, if you’ve got one dick, two pussies, and three asses, you might be wondering why the hell you’d want to have a threesome without sticking that dick in either of those pussies or asses. There are two basic answers to that question: safer sex and good times. A lot of times, people have poly restrictions that prevent them from having intercourse with people who aren’t their primaries, and it’s extremely common for people to end up in a threesome situation where they’re fluid-bound with woman A but not woman B. While female condoms can help minimize some of the awkwardness in these situations, guys often find that their dicks are a bit… disappointed when switching from bare wet pussy to condom. You can save yourself all the awkwardness that arises from using condoms with woman A but not woman B by just not engaging in intercourse with either one.

And the truth is that for all that you can do a lot of fun things while trying to have intercourse with two women, it can be somewhat limiting for involving all parties at once—no matter how creative you are, a dick can only fit in one pussy at a time. It can be a lot easier to keep everyone involved in a high-quality way if you don’t focus too much on the intercourse.

Here are some of my partners’ and my favorite threesome positions that don’t involve intercourse. I figure a picture is worth a thousand words, so I created avatars to help illustrate concepts…

The Mindfuck

Put your guy on his back laying down. Put woman A on top of the guy front-to-front. Put woman B with her face between the other two people’s legs. The point of the mindfuck is that the guy and woman A can’t see what’s going on, and woman B’s job is basically to convince them that they’re actually fucking: play with the girl’s pussy with her hand, wriggle that girl’s hips down near the guy’s dick. Eventually, woman B sucks guy’s dick while sticking her fingers simultaneously in woman A’s pussy. From there the trick is to ride woman A’s hips in time with the sucking to create the total illusion of fucking. (I’ll go ahead and tell you that this one really is better if woman B starts riding the guy’s dick with her pussy while fingering woman A, and then you really do leave the guy feeling like he’s fucking two girls at once. But that’s not what this post is supposed to be about). Bonus points if you can make both people cum at once.

The Reinforcement

It’s a very long-term fantasy of mine to be able to basically missionary-fuck a girl with my hand. Unfortunately, it turns out that my arm isn’t actually that long and my wrist doesn’t really bend that way. So one of my female partners suggested that when I really want to do that, we should “call in the reinforcements.” And oh, it’s a beautiful thing… Woman A wriggles and writhes up against Woman B while the guy fingers both of them at once. Bonus points if he can do it with one hand. Super bonus points if he can make them cum at the same time (I think I’ve said that before).

The Peg Puzzle

If you have a guy who’s into pegging, you can make for a hella sexy time by getting woman A to fuck the guy in the ass with her strap-on . Get woman B behind woman A doing a reach-around maneuver to get her fingers behind woman A’s strap-on harness and on her clit, and thus able to give woman A a handjob while woman A fucks the guy. After woman A has cum, the women can switch places. This is especially fun if you tell the guy he has to be able to last long enough that both women get to cum.

Chinese Fingercuffs

Woman A sucks guy’s dick while sticking a finger or 5 up his ass. Woman B gets behind woman A and sticks her fingers in woman A’s pussy. The real trick here is for woman A to clench her pussy around woman B’s fingers whenever the guy clenches his ass around woman A’s finger. If you can make everyone cum at once (basically in a line), then you achieve a fancier version of what I like to call a “chain orgasm.”

The Sex Toy

This one is kind of a variation on The Mindfuck, but the goal is entirely different. The goal of the Mindfuck is to leave a woman and a man feeling like they’ve just fucked; the goal of the Sex Toy is to leave one woman feeling like a sex toy. In this one, you get woman A lying on her back and the guy on his back next to her. Then you get woman B alternately giving one of them head while giving the other one a handjob. This allows the guy and woman A to do all kinds of shit to woman B, dirty talk like hell, and do crazy things to each other’s mouths and nipples. It usually requires a serious feat of multi-tasking on the part of woman B, so she usually gets a reward of both people fucking her up at once when she’s done.

Holding Hands

(sorry, Barbies aren’t good at fisting…)

…Fucking her up at once? But how? Oh, there are so many ways… One of the most fun is to use one hand from the guy and one hand from the other woman to butterfly fist her together at once. One person can also put a hand up her pussy while the other one puts a hand up her ass. And let’s not forget the classy arrangement where one person fists her while the other one rubs her clit… and then they switch.

Tongue in Cheek

It’s really hard for two people to give cunnilingus at the same time. It’s much more feasible for one person to give cunnilingus while the other gives analingus. But far more successful in my experience is when one person fingers the girl while the other one licks her pussy.

Bobbing for Apples

This one is simple, easy, straightforward, and makes most guys lose their minds: the two-girl blowjob. We call it “bobbing for apples” when the girls can get a rhythm going where they take turns sucking his cock. One can suck the tip while the other licks the base. One can give a normal blowjob while the other one sucks his balls. The real bonus here is if the guy can start cumming in one girl’s mouth and then finish in the other’s.

******

I’ve said before that hands are better than dicks, and when you have FMF threesomes, you have six hands and one dick. Why limit yourself to what that one poor overworked cock can do?