It’s been more than eight years since Kirk Cameron first introduced us to the Crocoduck, the crocodile/duck hybrid that he believes ought to exist if evolution is true.

And finally — finally! — there’s an erotic novel bringing the two together:

So what is Mandy De Sandra‘s Kirk Cameron & The Crocoduck of Chaos Magick all about?

Kirk Cameron has set up his Pray The Gay Away Camp. He is hoping for it to be a hit Reality TV Show. While most boys are open to letting go of their homosexual ways, JJ a young gay man who practices Chaos Magick has other plans. When JJ finishes his spell and unleashes hot Cheese Jesus, a crockoduck, and Boner Stabone, Kirk Cameron will feel passion and some sexy Growing Pains. A 7,500 word novellete of hot gay orgy action, involving crockoducks, sexy holy cheese, Chaos Magick, oral sex, anal, clone 69ing, and Stigmata hand sex.

I know. My body also began tingling at sexy holy cheese.

So I had to buy it.

Let me give you a taste of what you’re in for:

Kirk Cameron’s mouth dropped and he fell to the knees. The Crocoduck he used to refute evolution was now in the room crocowaddling toward him. It looked at Kirk and its wings flapped with glee. The green-scaled skin glistened while his feathers looked regal. Its 12-inch jaw of teeth showed a long smile of lust — its Crocoduck cock was the same length. The Crocoduck darted toward the kneeling and shocked open-mouthed Kirk Cameron. Kirk didn’t close his mouth in time and took nine inches of the Crocoduck. It squealed with delight while flapping his wings. The Boners followed the Crocoduck’s lead but went into the 69 position. They sucked one another, mirroring each other, looking like a funhouse of fellatio.

You’re welcome, America.

(Also, someone please add “crocowaddling” to Urban Dictionary.)



