The following is a list of Ziva David's idiomatic mistakes and mispronunciations.

Episode Gaffe Correction/Response Notes

Kill Ari Part 2 You are a broken tape, Gibbs. Tony: "Record." A broken record. The first "Ziva-ism."

Silver War You might want to do something about your hair. It's sticking up like a... porcuswine? Oh, wrong word. A porcu...ig? The little animal with the little spiky tips!? McGee: Porcupine?

Ziva: Porcupine! Thank you, Special Agent McGee.

I stand corrected. It appears he didn't know. I feel like a donkey's butt. McGee: "Donkey's butt?"

Tony: I think she meant "horse's ass," McGee.

Ziva: Yes, that too.

Switch Tony: I don't know. Look at the guy. He's such a...

Ziva: Pimp. Tony/McGee: Wimp.

Once he saw us at Norfolk, he must have taken a kite. Tony: Hike. The expression is taking a hike.

McGee: She may have had it confused with "go fly a kite."

Ziva: I speak five languages. Forgive me if I get confused... sometimes.

The Voyeur's Web I've been meaning to ask you about that, Tony. How does a fifteen year old boy go about meeting a coquette? McGee: She means Rockette, Boss.

Honor Code There's also someone here from Social Security to pick him up. Gibbs: Services, Ziva. Social Security is for older people.

Ziva: Noted.

The man is spic and spam. Tony: The saying is spic and span. Spam is lunch meat.

Ziva: Oh. What exactly is span, then?

Tony: Span is, uh... I'll get back to you on that.

Under Covers Look who's calling the pot black. Tony: Kettle. The pot is calling the kettle black.

It calms my mind. Forces me to stay focused at the job in my hand. Tony: The term is job at hand.

Frame-Up She's probably passed on by now. McGee: The term is passed out.

Probie Halligan's on the goat... oh no, not goat. Sheep? McGee: Lam?

Ziva: That's it.

Tony: He's on the lam. There's no B in that, by the way.

Boxed In I think we've just been screwed in here, Tony. Tony: The term is bolted.

Tony: I'm not getting any reception. How about you?

Ziva: No, I'm braless. Tony: I noticed that earlier. But on your phone they're bars.

Ziva: Don't you have anything better to do than correct my English?

That's quaint. We'd be like the homos in those old movies. Tony: Hobos, not homos.

Deception Don't worry, Abby. Sometimes it's hard to see the jungle through the ferns. Abby: ...Right. The correct expression is forest for the trees.

Does a bear sit in the woods? Ross Logan: Are you the crackerjack team on this job?

Tony: She's Israeli.

Ziva: Look, I know I got the bear thing right. The correct expression is shit in the woods.

Light Sleeper I've learned from Gibbs that in certain cases you can attract far more bees with honey. Tony: Flies.

Ziva: What do flies have to do with honey?

Tony: Flies don't like vinegar.

Ziva: Vinegar?

Tony: It's complicated. The correct expression is you can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Head Case If the... glue sticks? McGee: Shoe fits.

Ravenous "Lions and spiders and bears, oh my!" What? Mr. Movie doesn't know "The Wizard of Oz"?

That is not bad, Tony. Landis asked me out tonight. I said 'no'. I don't want him to think I'm sleazy. Tony: The term is easy.

Ziva: What's the difference?

Tony: Mostly the makeup.

Do you mind if I grab a bat nap? Bobby Landis: Uh... no. Just hang from the rafters. The correct term is cat nap.

Great! He'll be like finding a pin in a haystack. Tony: A needle in a haystack.

Ziva: Well, aren't pins just as hard to find?

Tony/McGee: No.

Bait Cody was covering his plates. Tony: Bases.

She asked if you had the calzones for this, yes? Tony: Cojones.

Iced I think Tony is jerking your brain. McGee: Chain? Jerking my chain?

So now your image is homopubic? Tony: The term is homophobic, and no. Prejudice of any kind is an ugly thing.

Untouchable This woman is a total turd! A geek, yes? Tony: The term is nerd.

Bloodbath And your lawyer is going to try and use her bad taste in men to impregnate her credibility. Tony: Impugn, Ziva!

Jeopardy Well, you're the one who said no to the muzzle, Tony. I wanted to shut his pothole two hours ago. Brian Dempsey: It's pie hole! Brian also corrects Ziva on her labeling of the Arby's drive-through as a "ride-through".

Everyone's avoiding me! Do they think I'm going to lose control, just enter the building and massacre everyone? I mean, I'm being treated like a leopard. Ducky: I believe the phrase is like a leper.

Hiatus Part 1 Ducky, drip it! Ducky: Do you mean, drop it or zip it?

Ah, American idioms drive me up the hall. Ducky: Well, actually... never mind. The correct expression is up the wall.

I've asked Tel Aviv if Captain Mahir is a blimp on their radar. Tony: Blip.

Hiatus Part 2 Okay. But you're tying my feet. Tony: Hands.

Ziva: Those, too.

Jenny Shepard: When Pin-pin handed him Ghalib's passport, it was good enough...

Ziva: To pass the mustard. McGee: Muster, not mustard. In fact, "cut the mustard" is an expression meaning the same or similar.

Escaped Tony: Well, they say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Meals on Wheels. Looks like Paulson was a volunteer.

Ziva: He volunteered to put meals on wheels? Tony: They bring food to the elderly, Ziva.

Dead and Unburied She tried to rat on us. Tony: She means rabbit.

Ziva: Rabbit, yes!

Witch Hunt Well, according to someone called Scuttle Butt, he caught his wife cheating on him. Gibbs: Scuttlebutt's not a person, Ziva. Scuttlebutt is what Marines call gossip.

And do you know what I did? I allowed myself to feel sorry for her. And do you know what that makes me?

Ducky: Human.

Ziva: A chimp! Jimmy: I think she means chump, Doctor.

Once A Hero You look run over. Tony: The term is rundown. I do?

Smoked You need to cut the man some slacks, Ducky. Tony: I agree. Except the term is slack.

Blowback Tony: Pirated copy.

Ziva: That is what I said. A pirated copy.

This is going to be like looking for a needle in a needle stack. Tony: Needle in a haystack.

Ziva: I like mine better.

Tagged their luggage? Oh, that's when Jenny had you under covers. Tony: Undercover. Not under covers.

Friends and Lovers Tony: Its almost unfair interrogating junkies.

Ziva: It's like shooting fish in a pond. John Carson: I, um, I think you mean a barrel.

Ziva: Why would fish be in a barrel?

John Carson: Um... that's a good point.

Why haven't you breasted them? Tony: She means busted.

Iceman Did she give you the cold elbow? Tony: Shoulder. And no! She has very warm shoulders to me.

Cover Story McGee, you look like you've seen a goat. McGee: Huh? Oh, ghost. Seen a ghost.

He's chomping out McGee. Tony: Chewing.

Trojan Horse Hey, I will make it worth your wow. Tony: "While" not "wow."

Bury Your Dead McGee: Yes I was here all night.

Ziva: Fragging the computers? McGee: Defragging.

Ex-File Quite the waterfall. Tony: She means windfall.

Identity Crisis Tony: I'm not ready to start taking tips on this from you, Probie.

McGee: Tony, I think it's time you get back on that horse.

Ziva: Are you getting a pony? Tony: It's an adage.

Ziva: I'm not familiar with that breed.

Tony: Well yeah they are quite rare. Sort of a cross between a Pegasus and a unicorn.

He is going to chew you up. Tony: Out. Chew you out.

Leap of Faith I am having the same problem as McGee had with Capt. Walsh. The Pentagon is rockwalling me. Tony: She means stonewalling. Little quirk she has.

Chimera Tony: Oh, I get it Boss. This is a black ship.

Ziva: Black sheep?

Tony: No they don't exist.

Ziva: Oh, I've seen black sheep.

Tony: No I said black ship. Not sheep. Clearly the U.S. Navy is still intent on pulling the wool over the eyes of the American people, Sir.

Designated Target Tony: How long have you been in this country?

Ziva: Why?

Tony: Well you never heard of gypsy cabs, you don't use contractions, assimilate already.

Ziva: What are contraptions? Tony: Never mind.

Corporal Punishment McGee: Maybe Ziva will do it.

Ziva: Maybe Ziva will do what?

Tony: I've been working on my six pack, you know abs.

Ziva: You and Abby have been drinking? Tony: No, abdominals. No more beer gut for me.

Tribes McGee: All right, then we'll flip for it.

Ziva: If I flip you, you will get hurt. Tony: You can take her, McGee.

Stakeout Ziva: Your goose is fried! Tony: Cooked. And no, it's not.

The jack she is with is gross. Tony: You mean John?

Ziva: You know him?

Tony: Oh, my God...

Dog Tags Did you wake up in the wrong bed this morning? Tony: If your question is, did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed?

Internal Affairs I would hate to be misunderstood.

Fornell: Does that happen often?

Ziva: Once in a blue lagoon. The correct term is "blue moon."

In the Zone Well it would not be the first time a murder tried to throw us up that way. McGee: Off. Throw us off.

Judgment Day Part 1 Is that why we're here? So you can google the girls? Tony: Ogle. An alternative term would be "goggle".

Agent Afloat Your crime scene skills are getting a bit dusty. McGee: Rusty.

Capitol Offense You are such a control geek. Tony: Freak.

McGee: Maybe he's bluffing.

Tony: Uh-uh. It was on the nose.

Ziva: Whose nose? Tony: On the money. Bullseye. Right as rain. You were doing better before you went back to Israel. You've reverted.

Nine Lives What is it that is bothering you so much, Tony?

Tony: Do I look troubled?

McGee: As a matter of fact...

Ziva: Are you getting so hot and bothersome because uh, you think I may be having a little fun? The correct term is "hot and bothered."

No wonder he's keeping his cards so close to his breasts. None The correct term is "chest", though neither Tim or Tony touch this one with a ten foot pole.

Cloak McGee: You know what they say about a watched pot, Tony.

Ziva: Calls the kettle black? McGee: Never boils.

Road Kill Ziva: How is that for old school slothing? Tony: Sleuthing. Having fun yet?

Deliverance We canvassed the area. No one is talking. There is a smurf war... Tony: Turf war.

Ziva: ...between two rival gangs.

South by Southwest You did not change when your books made you plush. McGee: Flush.

Dead Reckoning He has fingers in many eyes. Tony: Pies.

Toxic She claimed Heller was not there but I smelled fish... What? McGee: Fishy... something fishy.

Legend Part 1 After our last trip to L.A., I do not understand why you would think I would be such an eager platypus, Tony. Tony: Beaver. Eager beaver. Not platypus. Why does that bother me so much? Don't answer that.

Semper Fidelis A fly! McGee: Bug.

Outlaws and In-Laws We have been instructed to sit on the baby. None.

Mother's Day My citizenship test is coming up, and I wish to pass with swimming colors. McGee: Flying colors.

Ziva: Any colors will do, McGee.

I heard about that. The shooter was really in the book suppository Dinozzo: Depository

Ziva: That's what I said.

Defiance And she just gets off Scotch-free? McGee: Scot.

Engaged: Part 1 Something's on your mind. I can see your wheels churning. Tony: Butter churns, David, wheels turn.

Psych Out Good morning, Tony. Why are you so preppy? Tony: Well, probably because I went to boarding school, but I think you mean peppy.

Need to Know She's completely out of your ballpark. Tony: League.

The Good Son As for Wendy, I believe you were right to turn the book on that relationship. Tony: Turn the page, close the book. But yeah, I guess I was.

Playing with Fire She is one angry screw. Tony: Huh?

Ziva: You know, a woman with a bad temper.

Tony: Shrew, Ziva.

Double Blind We believe he's hoping to get me to flip. Perhaps to bring to light some aspects of our hunt for Bodnar that were... icy. Tony: Dicey. This line also contains a rare Ziva use of contractions.

Damned If You Do Ziva: You're preaching to the symphony, Ducky. Tony: Choir.