Men do all kind of stupid things to get a woman to fall for them. They don’t really know how easy it could be. Well, easy or hard, you’ll do stupid things to get her… won’t you? It’s really super natural for your IQ to drop once you notice a beautiful girl around. It’s in the apes, too. Darwin said it, dude. Just go look it up! Or trust the memes, it’s your sole source of knowledge.

So, you’re hanging around with your friends being all cool and manly-like, and suddenly, an angel that walked out of a portrait comes your way. Your face turns white, jaw dropped and eyes fixated. You keep telling yourself to keep it low, to hide your true emotions, but her “smile” as she walks down the bar just makes you really… happy.

You say, that’s it! You’ve finally fallen in love, and now know what every cliché means. You know how the sunrise truly feels; and how the singing of birds in the morning is not actually annoying. All you need to do is go and get her. Your other half is waiting by the other end of the room, and you suddenly turn blank.

You finally gather the courage to go and drop your charming pick up lines, only to find out she’s a blonde flat earther. You get the shock of your life; earth is actually flat! You need to believe that, and you need to spend the rest of your lifetime convincing people of the same. Because, otherwise, you’re not going to be anywhere near her, and that you cannot take. It’s better to shift your reality than lose her, right?

And there goes another man, walking down the aisle, thinking about Fortnite.