Hands are the only human body parts involved in testing for the best toilet paper.

Consumer Reports uses “specially trained sensory panelists” as well as some big, tough machines and beakers of oscillating water to rate 25 brands for softness, strength and decomposability.

Working in a temperature and humidity controlled room, the CR sensory testers check each brand two ways: first, rubbing their fingers over the surface of a sheet in circular motions then by crumpling it up into a ball.

“The roughest, stiffest papers feel pointed, ridged and cracked,” CR reports.

A Canadian-made brand, White Cloud 3-Ply Ultra Soft and Thick, ranked first overall in the latest Consumer Reports tests.

“It was soft, strong and exceptional value” at 25 cents per 100 sheets, the consumer testing organization reported. And it showed excellent disintegration, a relief to home plumbers.

The downside: not available in Canada and only available in the United States at Wal-Mart stores.

Kruger Products Ltd., the Montreal company that makes White Cloud and used to be Scott Paper Ltd., also makes Canadian brands White Swan and Cashmere.

Wal-Mart Canada tells the Star it does carry the #3 top brand, Great Value, but not the specific brand that Consumer Reports rated.

Quilted Northern, more widely available in the U.S. at drug stores and Target, ranked second.

Some top-10 toilet papers available in Canada: Charmin Ultra Soft (#6) and Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care (#10).

Consumer Reports tests for strength by stacking 15 sheets of each brand into an Instron device, which pushes a steel ball through the centre. The good stuff can withstand up to three times the pressure of the flimsy brands.

The Instron also figures out how hard you need to tug to get the toilet paper to rip where it’s supposed to, along the perforation.

Seventh Generation rated highest of the “green” products, at #16.