*Note: This is Part One in a three part series. In the series, I’ll examine lessons about friendship found in the Cornetto Trilogy and how they apply to my life.

I’ll skip summarizing the film and just assume that everyone reading this is familiar with Shaun of the Dead (if not, you should definitely watch it because it’s wonderful). Furthermore, I’ll assume that most of you are aware of the fact that Shaun of the Dead is the first film in the Cornetto Trilogy, also known as the Blood & Ice Cream Trilogy. But, because it’s relevant to this post, I’ll discuss the trilogy a little bit first.

The Cornetto Trilogy is comprised of Shaun of the Dead (2004), Hot Fuzz (2007), and The World’s End (2013). The films are a thematic trilogy; that is, they aren’t sequels, they don’t follow the same characters/plot, etc. But they all deal with certain themes and have certain elements that bind them. For example, they are all set in small English villages or suburbs; they all basically follow the “man vs. society” conflict structure, and each features a different flavor of Cornetto (what we in America might know better as Drumsticks).

But to my mind, the most important theme running throughout all three films in friendship. Each deals with a different broad aspect of what it means and how it works to be friends with someone. Shaun of the Dead is about maintaining a friendship, Hot Fuzz is about creating a new friendship, and The World’s End is about ending a friendship.

Maintaining a Friendship

From the very beginning of the film, we see that Shaun is torn between his adult responsibilities and his care-free childishness (yes, the movie is also about growing up; it’s about a lot of things). He truly loves his girlfriend, Liz, but he also truly loves his best friend, Ed. And of course it’s not that Ed and Liz don’t like each other, but they essentially live in two different worlds: Liz is a successful and well-adjusted adult with mature (if a little stuffy) friends, while Ed is the ultimate man-child. He sits around Shaun’s flat all day, playing video games, and selling weed as his primary source of income (which is minuscule). Now, that description makes Ed sound like a very unlikeable person, but he isn’t. He’s Shaun’s best friend, and the reason he’s still Shaun’s best friend after so many years of not growing up and – arguably – keeping Shaun from growing up is that he really loves Shaun too. He’s always on Shaun’s side, always willing to stand up for him, no matter what anyone else might say or think (even when Shaun is not necessarily on his own side). He’s also almost literally a shoulder for Shaun to cry on – at times, the only one. This is why their friendship has endured but now, as Shaun is forced to mature emotionally, their friendship is in question. Will Shaun be able to mature and still hang on to his child-like friendship? At times, it seems very doubtful.

But does their friendship dissolve? Does it come to a bitter end? You all already know the answer to this: Of course it doesn’t. But – and this is key – it does change. In fact, the friendship itself, their relationship, matures in much the same way Shaun and Ed do individually.

And therein lies the lesson. No matter what you go through, no matter what circumstances life throws at you, you can still keep your best friends, even if it feels like both of you are changing rapidly. But you must be willing to let the friendship evolve and change as well. The struggle doesn’t come from trying to have friends that you can act like a kid with while still being a mature and responsible adult. The struggle comes from thinking about your friendship in such rigid terms that you can’t stand to let it be anything other than what it’s always been. A friendship is a living entity must be allowed to grow if it is to be maintained.

And, of course, maintenance is hard work. Like any other living thing, a friendship takes care, attention, and devotion to thrive. You can’t expect your best friend to just know that you care about them. You have to show them. This brief article does a great job of outlining helpful maintenance behaviors (it applies the concepts to romantic relationships, but I would argue that they apply equally to platonic friendships). These kinds of behaviors are something that we don’t really see much of between Shaun and Ed until after the zombie apocalypse (which is really more like a zombie crisis, since the world doesn’t actually end). Shaun purposely taking time out of his day to play video games with zombie Ed can be considered a maintenance behavior and demonstrates that he has successfully integrated his friendship into his now-more-mature lifestyle.

Real Life

When I was 17, I made a friend who we’ll refer to as “Haley”. She was a friend of a friend and we all became good friends (sorry for using the word “friends” so much, but it’s gonna happen some more). Through various circumstances that are too complex and numerous to detail here, we grew apart. We didn’t talk for a solid year. We went from being best friends to not even speaking to each other; not because of any ill will or traumatic event. There was no definable moment where we stopped being friends, it just kind of happened.

And, in fact, we didn’t really stop being friends; because in January of this year, we got to know each other again. We started talking and hanging out again and kind of picked up where we had left off. Our friendship is better than ever before. She’s the best friend I’ve ever had. She’s my Ed.

Is our friendship the same as it was in high school? Not at all. It’s changed, just as we’ve changed, and it’s stronger for that.

And now we live 800 miles away from each other, which is another big change. How do you maintain a friendship over such a great distance. I guess we’re still figuring that out (at least I am), but the point is this: we know that no matter how far apart we are, no matter how much we change, we’ll always be friends. Because we’re willing to let our friendship change right along with us and we’re willing to put in the work it takes to keep being friends.

You’re My Best Friend

Back to the movie. Ed may now be a zombie who lives in the shed, but his friendship with Shaun is as strong as ever; in fact, I would say it’s even stronger because of its evolution. They’re in a new situation – unknown territory – but they’re in it together, and they’ll figure it out together. They’ll put forth the necessary effort (well, mostly Shaun because Ed can’t do much of anything these days). In rain or shine, they’ll stand by each other. They’ll always be best friends.