MONTEREY — In a surprising reveal, the Monterey Bay Aquarium announced its first foray into wearable tech today, with a full line of too-good-to-be-true glasses dubbed JellyVue™.

Seamlessly integrated with their popular Jelly Cam livestream, JellyVue™ glasses promise to help alleviate stressful real-world situations with the soothing pulses of the Aquarium’s sea nettles.

“With everything going on in the world, the Jelly Cam has gone from a popular moving screensaver to a bona-fide self-care destination,” explains Patrik Anderson, head developer on the project.

“JellyVue™ brings cnid-vision glasses to the masses, untethered from their phones or computers, for the instant mindfulness only brainless animals can provide.”

Accompanying the announcement on the Aquarium’s social media channels are a series of ads pulled directly from the Marketing to Millennials playbook.

A young woman stares off into space filled with jelly for the slogan “You’re not ready.” Another stands outside the Aquarium to “Sea for yourself.” A trendy workgroup hangs out on a balcony with their JellyVue™ glasses under the tagline “Mindless fun.”

While JellyVue™ glasses are sure to be popular, Patrik had some important caveats for prospective buyers.



“First of all, JellyVue™ is not AR, or VR. It’s a proprietary tech we call CnidoSight™, which is basically a 100% opaque projection of the Jelly Cam directly into your field of vision. Operating heavy machinery with JellyVue™ is definitely not recommended.”

“Also, this is an April Fool’s joke. Yes, yes, I know, we’re sorry! We’re just as disappointed as you are! I mean, how cool would these be? When we came up with this idea everyone in the office was like: ‘Man, that would be so awesome to actually buy them though!’ And if someone out there wanted to give us a TON of money we could see what we could do, you know? But yeah, no, this is an April Fool’s joke, sorry about that, and we hope that if/when the sadness/anger subsides, you had a good laugh, and that you share this with your friends in the friendly spirit of tomfoolery that is April 1st.”