Brian is the survivor of a violent and abusive relationship.

He was regularly beaten by his partner. He suffered broken bones, but the emotional scars were far worse.

Brian kept quiet for two years.

As a man, he says he found it incredibly embarrassing and difficult to admit the abuse to anyone.

The dad, who has since started a new life, has bravely chosen to speak to the Manchester Evening News about his experience in the hope it will break down the stigma surrounding male victims of domestic abuse.

(Image: PA)

"You end up feeling like your whole life is a lie"

“I lied about it at work,” Brian said.

“I couldn’t tell people around me because I felt humiliated.

“I have been hit, punched, hit in the face. As a bloke you go into work and someone asks ‘what happened to you?’

“They would never think that it could be abuse. You come out with lies and end up feeling like your whole life is a lie.”

Brian started a relationship with his abuser around 18 months after his divorce, a time when he says he was feeling vulnerable.

“It was a chance meeting with this woman and we got on,” he added.

“It’s hard to explain when someone is new and they think everything about you as wonderful.

“You are bombarded and overloaded with how they feel about you and how that makes you feel. Then it became almost obsessive.

“It got to the stage where she was superficially kind and generous, but there was a dark side. The abuse began then.

“She moved in with me and I had nowhere to go after that. I was being bombarded, I could not go out.

“I couldn’t go to the shop without her asking where I had been.

“She got into my phone to check it out. I could not have any female friends.

“She went on Facebook to check a friend out and abused them over the phone and accused them of having an affair with me. That’s when she smacked me around the face.”

Brian said the relationship was plagued by violent arguments in which his partner would attack him, even breaking bones on one occasion.

As his self confidence was slowly eroded by the relationship, Brian realised he had lost touch with family and friends.

“Family, friends, everyone - I didn’t realise until later that I had lost contact with all of them,” he said.

“She would say about my friends ‘they don’t see you how I see you’.

“I’m very sporty and I’ve got a lot of male friends and for this to happen you just lose sight of everything around you. I realised I had lost my circle.

“She could be loving and wonderful, but she had to own you. You don’t realise when it’s happening to you - I don’t care if you’re male or female.

“I struggled with my job and my emotional wellbeing. You can’t tell people - that’s the worst thing.

“I didn’t expect this. I wanted to get into this relationship because I was in a void and I met someone I cared for.

"I’m not a fighter. I can be tenacious, but I would never be physical"

“This person cared for me, but in the worst of ways - it was all about control.”

Brian eventually managed to leave his partner with the help of a work friend.

He is now encouraging male domestic abuse victims to seek help - and for those who suspect friends or loved ones are being abused to help.

“Men need to be more open about stuff but we feel we can’t because there’s so much out there about ‘what it is to be a man’,” Brian said.

“It can happen to anyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re 5ft or 6ft 9.

“People think it’s emasculating. Everything about you is taken away. You don’t exist as a human being.

“People may think ‘why don’t you stop it?’ and ‘are you a wimp?’

“I’m not a fighter. I can be tenacious, but I would never be physical. Domestic violence is not just something that happens to women, it happens to men too.

“When you’re abused you think all the negative things. You think you are crap. If you are given kindness and generosity it’s like a loan and there’s payback for that. The payback will often be emotional and physical.

“I want people to know that they can come out the other side.

“There are things there in modern day workplaces and charities that can help you. If it was not for them I would not be on this planet anymore.”

(Image: Manchester Evening News)

Brian spoke out after Tameside council launched a campaign aimed at helping men affected by domestic abuse.

The ‘He’s keeping a Secret’ campaign aims to highlight how one in six men experience domestic abuse, but are three times less likely than women to tell anybody.

It is hoped the scheme will help men realise they are not alone and encourage them to get help.

Domestic abuse isn’t just violence. It can also involve controlling and coercive behaviour, such preventing them from seeing family and friends or controlling their money.

The campaign is being supported by men from all walks of life, including the borough’s bin men, Hyde United footballers and office workers.

The council’s deputy executive leader Coun John Taylor said: “Men are renowned for bottling up their problems and feelings but we want to urge them not to keep domestic abuse a secret. Male victims may feel very alone but one in six men are victims, that’s at least one person within your sports team, office or group of mates at the pub.

“We want to highlight that getting help is the strong thing to do and hope the campaign will reach out to all men - whatever their jobs, interests or backgrounds - and encourage them to open up and get support and practical help.”

There is local support and help available for all victims of domestic abuse, both men and women, at tameside.gov.uk/domesticabuse or by calling 0800 328 0967. In an emergency, always call 999.