Update: If you've got too much time on your hands why not enjoy this list in book form? It weighs a lot so when you get upset and throw the thing in the river it will make a satisfying noise.





Below is a list of all the bad luck, self-inflicted misfortune, embarrassing, frightening and depressing things that have happened to Melbourne fans since the last team we played a final. Opposition fans who are keen to tell us how badly they've got it are invited to print it out, put it up on the wall and attempt to reach even 50% of the same debacles.





A reminder before you keep reading - the management of demonblog.com is not responsible for any psychological trauma that you may suffer, I'm not saying I necessarily agree with the stuff that's in here but it has all aggrieved our fans at one time or another.

...and remember we are supposed to be watching football for fun.





Any additions (please don't get me sued, remove names if it's a truly scandalous allegation) welcome in the comments or via Twitter

2007

Go into the season touted as Victoria's big hope for the flag, nearly finish last

Brock McLean enters 2007 in career best form then breaks his foot in the first quarter of Round 1

The trumpeteer makes his debut

Byron Pickett chucks a sickie from being an emergency via SMS because he's too hungover to turn up

Coming back from five goals down in the last quarter against North after eight straight losses, briefly getting in front then losing in the last 30 seconds

Nine losses in a row to start the season after being considered a premiership contender before the start of the season

Our kick-ins

3rd straight year of losing every game at Subiaco

6th straight year of season of losing every game at Football Park

Club puts out a fake press release before Queen's Birthday from the ' Victorian Ski Slopes Authority' saying that Melbourne fans would be turned away from the ski-fields that week because "We usually get so many Melbourne supporters up here for the Queen’s Birthday weekend that no one else can find a decent piece of ski space, and you can't get a car park amongst all those Volvos and four wheel drives for love nor money."

Victorian Ski Slopes Authority' saying that Melbourne fans would be turned away from the ski-fields that week because "We usually get so many Melbourne supporters up here for the Queen’s Birthday weekend that no one else can find a decent piece of ski space, and you can't get a car park amongst all those Volvos and four wheel drives for love nor money." Neale Daniher quits after being told he would have to apply for his own job

Losing Daniher's farewell game to a goal with 11 seconds left.

Ricky Petterd suffers serious, briefly life-threatening injury in on-field incident

Daniel Bell severely injured by Ben Johnson. Never the same again.

Carlton openly tanks in Round 22, nobody cares

Jace Bode

Colin Sylvia is ejected from Spearmint Rhino, leaving his mate Alan Didak to accept a lift with a bikie/future killer

Nobody tells Daniel Ward he's going to be delisted so he doesn't get chaired off the ground after the last game

Rumours swirl that Judd is going to announce he’s joining us on the Grand Final Footy Show. We all sit there waiting for any mention of this but get nothing.

After teasing for weeks that we were ‘on his shortlist’ and telling us about how he grew up a Melbourne fan Judd turns us down and joins Carlton instead.

No players in the 40 man All-Australian shortlist

Cale Morton over Dangerfield, Rioli etc..

Dean Bailey appointed as coach after answering an ad in the paper then presenting with a Powerpoint put together by his son

Chris Connolly appointed as GM Football Ops weeks after losing to Bailey in the race for the senior coaching job

2008

CEO Steve Harris leaves in acrimonious circumstances

Paul McNamee selected as the replacement CEO over Geelong's Stuart Fox. McNamee sacked after 106 days, Fox goes to Hawthorn and presides over three premierships.

Introduction of the silver away jumper

Pre-season match against the Bulldogs in Bendigo called off halfway through the last quarter when the lighting fails. In the darkness a man with a microphone tells us it's over but Jason Akermanis was voted BOG.

TEAMelbourne

Jack Grimes on the long term injury list with a back injury before he'd even played one game

Lose Bailey’s first game by 104 points and his second by 95

Isaac Weetra

Club champions Jeff White and Adem Yze fall out of favour and spend time in the 2’s

David Neitz forced to retire due to injury and hardly any MFC fans turn up for his farewell

Paul McNamee sacked as CEO four months into the job

Jeff Kennett calls on us to move to the Gold Coast

Andrew Demetriou lends a hand as league CEO by labelling the Melboune 'brand' as "meaningless"

Our kick-ins

Russell Robertson blows his Achilles against St Kilda

Matthew Lloyd takes mark of the year and kicks eight against us

116 point loss to Geelong after being 53-0 down at quarter time. Cats fans give a warm round of applause when our first score is one of their players fumbling a mark over the line.

Paul Gardner resigns as President with the club under a mountain of debt

Brock McLean donates $10k to Debt Demolition, then leaves in disgust two years later

Cameron Schwab hired as CEO despite previously chequered history at Melbourne and bad reviews from people connected to Fremantle

Schwab apparently buys an expensive desk

Thrashed in White and Yze’s last game

First wooden spoon since 1997

Dean Bailey says 'competitive' every week

4th straight season of losing every game at Subiaco

7th straight season of losing every game at Football Park

Nathan Carroll decks Ben Holland on Mad Monday, gets the sack

Powerpoint presentation by players (including his brother) fails to lure Robert Warnock to Melbourne

Major sponsorship with Mission Foods lost due to last minute demands by MFC, they go to the Bulldogs instead and remain a solid sponsor for years

No players in the 40 man All-Australian shortlist (2nd straight year)

Craig Cameron walks out and joins Richmond even though he has 12 months left on his contract (whether this is actually a bad thing is up to you to decide)

2009

Holding a press conference to announce Watts getting #4

Rookie Sam Blease breaks his leg in a schoolyard kick around

Colin Sylvia being publicly mocked on radio by Neil Mitchell for not knowing who the current PM was during a membership telethon call. Neil conveniently let his membership lapse after a wooden spoon season.

Garland suffers mystery season ending injury in R1

Nathan Jones’ dad attacked by Collingwood fans outside the ground

John Meesen finally debuts after a year out with injury then gets injured again a few weeks later and never plays again

Cale Morton seemingly does a runner from a fight against Port Adelaide at Football Park

In front of a tiny MCG crowd we kick no goals until the third quarter and only four for the game against Adelaide

Fan spends time and money buying and framing 50’s premiership WEG posters signed by Ron Barassi for the purposes of raffling only to see one of them end up in an administrators house

Jack Watts debuts prematurely in an attempt to boost the Queen’s Birthday attendance

Pre QB speech by Nick McCallum where he was talking up the players who will be the pillar of our glorious premiership future and his voice cracked as he said Warnock.

Jim Stynes diagnosed with cancer

Our kick-ins

The assorted ‘dubious’ coaching moves in the Richmond game, leading to Jordan McMahon’s goal which was cheered by most of the Melbourne fans in the crowd

A member of the football department telling a sponsors meeting that we were tanking

Chris Connolly’s tanking “gag” which eventually backfired and formed a key part of the Tankquiry

Rohan Bail’s blows his quad 30 seconds into his debut, after being injured in the warm-up but still starting the game on the field.

Jake Spencer dropping the ball to the ground in the middle of his run-up to goal the same day

Only 13,000 people showing up for a win against Freo WITH the crowd having been boosted by a ‘Kick on the G’ promotion

Hot rumours before the Freo game that there would be a donated $1m prize under a seat at the ground presumably turned out to be false, but given that there were 87,000 seats free who knows?

The ACT government refusing to pay for us to play there anymore after only 7000 show up for game against Sydney

The Red and Blue Print

5th straight season of losing every game at Subiaco

8th straight season of losing every game at Football Park

3rd straight season of losing every game at Docklands

3rd straight season of losing every game to Hawthorn and North

Dean Bailey’s sporting a horrible Movember moustache on draft night despite the knowledge that he would be all over the media due to us having the first two picks

Picking all of Trengove/Scully/Tapscott/Gysberts in the top 25 and not making any trades for experienced players

Holding a function on draft night to celebrate having picks 1 and 2

A second straight wooden spoon

In our first year of alignment with Casey we withdraw almost all senior players from their finals team and they lose by 115 points

Turned down by Shaun Burgoyne after being ‘on his shortlist’

No players in the 40 man All-Australian shortlist (3 rd straight year)

Neville Jetta’s mum recommends Lewis to recruiters and is roundly ignored

The great Watts vs NicNat debate

Brent Moloney takes a thinly veiled swipe at the departing Brock McLean in his Best and Fairest runners-up speech, only to walk out himself three years later

2010

Liam Jurrah injures his shoulder in a pre-season game and misses14 weeks

This photo

Cale Morton injured in a pre-season game at Princes Park and is never the same again

Ex-Demon Nathan Carroll arrested in Perth for headbutting a bouncer and spitting blood at police

Ex-Demon Simon Buckley arrested for keying his ex-girlfriend’s car

Colin Sylvia suffers a broken jaw from a practice match cheapshot by a West Coast player. No action taken.

Lose by a point to Collingwood after Ricky Petterd drops the mark in the goalsquare at the end of his best ever game

Our kick-ins

Petterd suffers a season ending shoulder injury while in career best form. Never the same again.

Schwab borrows $140,000 from the club for a property transaction

Lost to West Coast who hadn't won at the MCG since 2007 and were 1-24 in their last 25 games outside of WA

Fined $15,000 for bringing Matthew Warnock into the side late against Carlton when he hadn't been named as an emergency

Opening day of operations at AAMI Park spoiled by players and staff being forced into lockdown due to reports of a mad bastard running around with a gun outside

Director Peter Szental passes away after a lengthy illness

Whiteboard Wednesday

Players forced to drive around in a car with "Yes I play for the Dees" painted down the side as 'punishment' from leadership group. Car is later sold on Ebay at a starting price of $500.

Brad Miller chooses to play with Casey instead of a farewell game with the Dees

Captain James McDonald forced out the door prematurely

Lynden Dunn's moustache

6th straight season of losing every game at Subiaco

9th straight season of losing every game at Football Park

4th straight season of losing every game at Docklands

3rd straight season of losing every game to Hawthorn and North

Expensive, long China trip which alienated some players

Teetotal Tom $cully allegedly leaves China trip early because Max Gawn threw up on him at the end of a drunken night out

Jurrah alleged to have developed drinking problem on China trip

MFC blows sponsorship extension with Kaspersky because we wanted more money at the last minute

MFC holds a function at the MCG to celebrate our indigenous players only for them to almost all leave within two years.

Picking Lucas Cook over Jack Darling

Rookie draftee Kelvin Lawrence almost leaves club immediately after arriving. Never plays a senior game anyway.

Austin Wonaeamirri's father passes away in car accident

2011

Casey recruit Brendan Fevola despite Melbourne’s wishes

“Fev to Melbourne” speculation for the whole season

The flag raising ceremony before games and after wins being added to the trumpeter

Going five goals down against West Coast at quarter time with a record low number inside 50’s.

Jack Watts’ Energy Watch ad

Brent Moloney quits leadership group after unsubstantiated allegations about urinating on bar from a man who admitted he had to look Moloney up on Google Images to make sure it was him

In an interview Colin Garland tries to crack a gag about Jack Grimes becoming a mortician and says: "The only thing stiffer than the bodies would be Jack himself!"

Our kick-ins

Jack Trengove suspended for three games for ‘sling tackle’ on Dangerfield

Players given 'please explain' by AFL for commenting about the Trengove decision on Twitter

Jamar comes off career best year then suffers a serious injury. Never the same again.

Jack Grimes' season ending foot injury. Never the same again

The Spencil does his knee in a VFL game.

The Andrews Report

Daniel Bell sues us

Juice Newton plays like Jonathan Brown for the first quarter of the game against North then never does anything ever again

Austin Wonaeamirri retires midway through the year

Schwab/Connolly vs Bailey feud

"Bruise free footy"

Mick Malthouse accuses Addam Maric of cheating live on the radio.

Get 76,000 to Queen’s Birthday (second highest non-finals crowd against Collingwood since 1971), then lose by 88

Players cancel a training run because they don’t feel like it

Go into a Friday night game against the struggling Bulldogs inside the top eight and lose by 10 goals

$cully disappears during win over Port in Darwin. Not seen during the singing of the song and never plays for us again due to ‘injury’

Casey losing to Geelong by 128 points. Fev seen leaning against a goalpost with the ball at the other end

Melbourne losing to Geelong by 186 immediately after

Moloney playing 186 despite being sick then not getting a touch

Claims that Bailey had to use his credit card to pay for the team to stay in Geelong the night before because the club wouldn’t pay for it

Bailey sacked and Schwab contract extended the day after 186 when the opposite was scheduled to happen

Garry Lyon’s alleged role in helping save Schwab and sack Bailey

Club makes a last gasp attempt to keep Scully by offering to sack Schwab

Sponsor signs behind removed before Bailey spoke at his post-sacking press conference

An extremely ill looking Jim Stynes dealing with the 186 fallout

Garry Lyon as Football Director

Sean Wight dies from lung cancer despite never having been a smoker

James Strauss suffers a horrific broken leg

Liam Jurrah breaks wrist, only plays one more game in his career

West Coast's McGinnity threatens to molest Ricky Petterd’s mum

Captain Brad Green starts as sub against Richmond

This guy

Todd Viney reverses position on interest in coaching job only to lose to bottom placed Port Adelaide in the last game, costing him any chance of getting the job

7th straight season of losing every game at Subiaco

5th straight season of losing every game at Docklands

4th straight season of losing every game to Hawthorn and North

$cully messes us around all year then signs for GWS after ‘going to tour the facilities’

It's then revealed $cully's dad was already on a lucrative contract at the Giants. Turncoat Tom claims he didn't know.

Ex-Demon Scott Thompson wins Adelaide Best and Fairest

Hankook walks out as a sponsor, citing the current administration as their major issue

No players in the 40 man All-Australian shortlist (4 th year out of five)

David Schwarz, Daniel Ward and Travis Johnstone are revealed to have had major gambling issues during their career

Coaching offers to Alastair Clarkson and Mick Malthouse who both turn us down

Coaching selection committee (Schwab, Lyon, McLardy) interview Ken Hinkley and he never hears from them again.

Not even getting a crack at Ross Lyon before he is spirited away to Fremantle during the night

In his first speech Neeld says he wants us to be "the toughest club to play against", a philosophy which holds up until roughly the end of the speech

Neeld sacks player welfare manager after joining the club

Sam Blease picked to run for Melbourne in the Grand Final Sprint then realises he had a family function on so couldn't turn up.

Colin Sylvia gets picked to play for Australia and is then dumped after drinking the night before the training session then doing a runner when his friend tipped their car over on Kings Way

MFC sued by a builder who claimed he was hit with a stray football during a training run

MFC announces they're supporting a team in China called the Tianjin Demons with jumpers and training gear. A $1.5 million oval is built (not from on our money surprisingly) only for it to be revealed in 2014 that the ground has fallen into disrepair and the Tianjin Demons never actually formed

The christmas video with naked players cavorting around in the shower covered only by placards that read 40,000

2012

Members asked to avoid asking questions about 186 at the AGM

New coaching team tempt fate by publicly talking up the poor training standards of the past

Allegations that the coaches had set the players an off-season training regime and when they came back only two of them had completed it

Eddie McGuire threatens us with financial ramifications if we poach their recruiter

The blazers

The new logo

Collars and stars on jumper

Max Gawn does knee, misses entire season

Liam Jurrah arrested for machete attack in Northern Territory

Jurrah then fined $5000 by the club for drinking during recovery

Colin Sylvia suffers fractured back in final practice match

China Southern Airlines rumoured as sponsor, do not actually sign for another two years

Jim Stynes passes away

Mitch Clark’s Ultratune ad

Shock loss to Brisbane in Round 1, including Neeld spraying the players at half time when they were four points behind

Neeld's press conference later used in AFL media training as an example of how not to do it

Grant Thomas leaks story given to him by Jason Mifsud about an Aaron Davey complaint re: Neeld's treatment of indigenous players...

... the next day Energy Watch sacked as sponsor after their founder posts racist Facebook messages. We had to put sticky tape over their logo but in the right sunlight you could see right through...

... the next day after that Jordan Gysberts suffers a six week injury and Daniel Nicholson is fined for drinking while in injury rehab...

... then we lost to West Coast by 108 points

Playing without a major paying sponsor for the first few rounds of the season

Losing the Jim Stynes tribute game to the fellow struggler Bulldogs

Losing a fifth straight game after failing to score in the last quarter against St Kilda

Our kick-ins

Losing by 101 points to Sydney after scoring 5.7.37 with the otherwise hapless Tommy Walsh playing like John Coleman

The impact of Jeremy Howe’s mark of the year ruined by constant replays showing we were 80 points down at the time

Ex-Demon Daniel Hughes (the second one) pots us on Facebook

"Play Tom Couch" an even more popular Facebook whinge than "draft Fev" was a year earlier. Tom is finally picked, does nothing and is delisted the next year

FoxSports falling for the Carowhine Wilson Twitter account and reporting ‘breaking news’ that Neeld was about to be sacked

Allegations that a star player was asked to do extra boxing training, told the coach it was going well, then got rolled when the rang up the boxing instructor who revealed the player hadn't been to one extra session

"Members Information Night"/crisis meetings held. Mark Neeld's laptop revealed to have a folder on the desktop called TRUE BLOOD.

At the information night Neeld says there's no need for a club psychologist because we've got coaches the players can speak to

Leigh Williams goes down with viral encephalitis

Jamie Bennell does knee, never plays for us again.

Moloney feuds with Neeld

Hiring the Scotch College Marching Band to play before Queen’s Birthday

Morton’s kick on Queen’s Birthday

Mitch Clark injured after four first quarter goals against GWS, out for the rest of the season

Brock McLean’s comments launch the Tankquiry when he was only on because Nathan Jones pulled out

Dunn reported for staging in Round 21

Two time rising star nominee Jordan Gysberts only plays one match in 2012 then leaves, never to play another senior game

Score of 5.10.40 in Round 22

Brad Green allegedly forced out the door

Rivers leaves, takes a pot shot at Neeld after he goes

Free of MFC, Dean Bailey goes within seconds of a Grand Final in his first year with the Crows

Ex-Demon Scott Thompson wins Adelaide Best and Fairest for a second time

Not having a recruiter in the 2012 draft and allowing a board member to give advice on selections

Jimmy Toumpas over Ollie Wines

Schwab gets a three year contract extension

Watts vs Neeld feud

13 straight losses at Subiaco

14 straight losses at Docklands

9 straight losses to Hawthorn

10 straight losses to North

No players on the 40 man All-Australian shortlist (5 th year out of 6)

Trading former #4 draft pick Cale Morton to West Coast for pick 88

Jurrah quits playing with Melbourne and moves to Adelaide

Howe, Frawley, Dunn, Rivers and Petterd pictured at the Boxing Day test making a giant beer snake, then getting into a fight with other patrons and being kicked out. All listed as Melbourne players in the press even though Rivers and Petterd had left.

2013

Official 2013 calendar produced so early that about a quarter of the months featured players who had left. Stick that on your wall.

The Tankquiry finally wraps up, and while we’re found not guilty we get fined $500k fine anyway

Connolly and Bailey suspended for allegedly being involved in the non-tanking

Connolly then receives a two year contract extension in May only to be sacked in October

New recruiter Jason Taylor alleged to have been in a fight on an AIS tour of Europe.

Liam Jurrah arrested for drink driving and attacking a woman in the street

Three year contract for Pedersen, two years for Rodan and Byrnes

Brad Green dumped as captain after one year and senior players sacked from leadership group

Trengove made youngest captain in league history, has skinfold targets changed halfway through pre-season and injures his foot over-exerting himself to try and meet them

Jack Grimes changes to #31 to try and take some of the $cully curse off it

Constant and misleading references to the book/film Moneyball to describe our recruiting

The Harlem Shake

Sylvia allegedly pulls out time trial with ‘injury’ only for nothing to be found wrong with him

Being implicated in the Essendon drug scandal on the 7:30 Report

Round 1, 2013 – lose heavily to Port with fans going bananas over the race after an insipid thrashing. Man with red face becomes internet sensation. Neeld spazzes out at the press conference - not without some justification but it probably didn't help.

Our kick-ins

Neeld inviting the cameras in for his speech before Round 2 2013, only for it to be broadcast at half time when the team was being thrashed where it showed half the players struggling to remain interested

Losing by 148 to Essendon after a score of 5.6.36. Fans seen openly crying in stands

Schwab sacked and paid out despite having his contract extended for three years in August 2012



Lynden Dunn’s mum rings up SEN and says the coaches should be shot



Tom Gillies walks into the worst defence of all time, goes out with an average losing margin of +100 points

Constant talk about how we're great trainers

The beard growing contest

Neil Mitchell making a rare appearance as an MFC 'fan' to declare the club had a 'smell of death' about it

One of the Fidge brothers pots us on Facebook

Standing ovation for only being 10 points down the next week against West Coast, lost by 94 after conceding 11 goals in the third quarter

Being 19 points down at ¾ to GWS

Losing by 10 goals to Gold Coast in their first ever MCG win after having 106 missed tackles

Reason cited for the 106 missed tackles was that "Gold Coast were stronger"

Don McLardy resigns

6.4.40 against Fremantle in a 90 point loss after kicking the first goal

Garland and Dunn attempt to mark the same ball with no Fremantle players in sight with James Sellar trying to spoil them



The phone lines to the coaching box break down, forcing Neeld to do the job from the bench with some bloke relaying stats on a mobile phone. Already seven goals down at the time so it makes no difference

Neeld expected to be sacked at a board meeting before Queen’s Birthday but surviving..

… only to be sacked the next week anyway after losing to Collingwood by 83 points on a score of 5.9.39

Racial abuse towards Neville Jetta on the MFC Facebook page

Brent Moloney makes snarky Instagram “karma is a bitch” post about Neeld getting the sack

Tim Harrington sacked

Lost $3.1m and had to receive a bailout financial package from the AFL

Rampant leaking from board members to the press

Three different board members resign

Geoff Freeman anointed as the next President then never heard from again

Jeff Kennett for President

Alan Stockdale leads Melbourne Matters to nowhere

Things getting so bad that Mike Brady wrote yet another Up There Cazaly knock off to 'pump us up'. The inspiring song is called "Get out and have a go"

Setting a world record for lowest inside 50 count as we kicked 4.6.30 against Geelong

Losing by 122 points to North in a ‘home’ game at Docklands where we only kicked 4.4.28

Giving GWS their only win of the season

Jesse Hogan ‘does knee’ for Casey, sparking panic before he’s passed fit

10 straight losses against Hawthorn

11 straight losses against North Melbourne

Streak of 16 straight losses at Football Park only ends because the place is shut down

14 straight losses at Subiaco

16 straight losses at Docklands

Rodan does his knee and kindly retires instead of staying around for the second year of his contract

Aaron Davey used as the sub seven times in his last sesaon

Colin Sylvia leaves as a free agent

After Stewart Dew is initially blocked by Sydney from becoming our coaching successor so he signs a long term deal with the Swans instead

2 wins for the year, worst season since 1981

9 game losing streak to end the year, would stretch to 12 into 2014

Percentage of 54.1% with an average score against of more than 120 points

The delisted Ricky Petterd plays finals for Richmond (and good luck to him)

Refused a priority pick

No players in the 40 man All-Australian shortlist (6th year out of 7)

Dean Bailey diagnosed with cancer

Nathan Carroll arrested for street violence, revealed he had been abusing alcohol and ‘other substances’

Ex-President Don McLardy falls victim to a Punters Club scam.

2014

No Friday night games for the third straight year

James Magner writes a snarky tweet about Mark Neeld getting a job at an U18’s club. Quickly deleted.

Dean Bailey passes away

Mitch Clark retires during pre-season. Later makes a comeback with Geelong.

Jesse Hogan does back in meaningless NAB Cup game, misses entire season

Good VFL players abandon Casey, leaving our reserves to play in a largely uncompetitive team

Kicking 4.6.30 against West Coast in Round 2

Jack Trengove gets dropped then suffers a season ending injury

Jack Viney initially suspended for bump against Adelaide

Kicking 5.8.38 against Sydney in Round 6 and actually being happy about our performance

Melbourne Future Fund and Melbourne Business Community seemingly become defunct

Our kick-ins

Long-term MFC regular Sylvia turns out to be no more than a fringe player at Fremantle

Racial abuse towards Neville Jetta from a Western Bulldogs fan

President Bartlett says he wants us to be like the New York Yankees

Kicking 3.10.28 against Collingwood on Queens Birthday after getting the first goal within 30 seconds

Neale Daniher diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease

4.10.34 against Fremantle

5.3.36 against Geelong

Stefan Martin dominant in second half of year at Brisbane after being discarded for next to nothing by Melbourne

Frawley revealed to be an unrestricted free agent only because of the way we'd structured his contract

Rolling over and dying in the last quarter against Brisbane

Roos blames our current issues on tanking

Losing by 10 goals to GWS in their first ever MCG win despite them being three players down for the whole second half. Total score of 3.16.34.

Losing 10 in a row to end the year

Jurrah arrested for assault again

The 1948 premiership flag that we didn't even know was missing turns up on Ebay

didn't Lowest average score since 1920

Failed to win a home game all year

Lowest top goalkicker tally since the 1960's

First time a team didn't kick 100 points in a game at least once in a year since the 1970s

Second worst total score ever in a 22 game season

First time we didn't have a player kick at least four goals in a game since 1919

11 straight losses against Hawthorn

13 straight losses against North Melbourne

15 straight losses at Subiaco

20 straight losses at Docklands – our worst run at any venue ever

Richmond wins one less game in a row than we have in three full seasons

Hawthorn fill in coach Brendan Bolton wins one more game in five weeks than we did all year

No Rising Star nominees in all of 2014

No players in the 40 man All-Australian shortlist (7 th year out of 8)

Terlich/Georgiou Mad Monday fiasco

All back episodes of Whiteboard Wednesday still being on our YouTube channel years later

Frawley (presumably) teases us for a whole year then leaves

Mitch Clark’s ‘fresh start’, where he is linked to every club but us

Refused a priority pick again

Update 9.02pm: I wish I'd had the time to write a proper outro to this post instead of just leaving it hanging in a fashion which made it look like I'd pressed enter for the last time and checked myself into state care. It should be noted for the record that despite everything that has happened in the last few years I will never give up on this club, and if you're an MFC fan neither should you.



