"When my first friend passed away, I'm all like, man, I'm'a fall back, I'm not going to do that," he says. "But at the same time, it comes to my head like, what the f---, I'm just gonna walk away when he just died? How's that make me look? Just let him go like that? Hell, no. I'm like, how can I turn my back on this? And it just keeps on going."