If you were reading upcoming Toronto event listings and happened upon the title "Casual Taxidermy", and you're anything like me, you probably thought to yourself "what a sweet name for a band." I'm imagining them as sort of a roots-y, blues-rock outfit. I bet Casual Taxidermy's guitarist is a big, sweaty bearded dude who goes by the name Sweet Daddy, and I bet he lays down some spicy licks.


But sadly, "Casual Taxidermy; The Art of Skinning a Dead Rat" is exactly what it sounds like.


It's a bunch of people paying good money to sit around an art studio, gut a bunch of dead rats, and then pose them with tiny outfits. It costs $200. The rat is provided.

Now, call me out-of-touch, but I was not aware taxidermy was the latest hip trend! (And apologies for using the overused-to-the-point-of-meaninglessness word "hipster", but I don't know if there's a better term for people who pay $200 to make their own DIY artisanal dead rats.) Apparently, it's already very much a growing trend, as explained in this Washington Post piece ("Taxidermy moves from hunting lodges to hipster havens") and this one from no less an authority than the New York Times ("D.I.Y. Taxidermy May Be for You, If You Have the Guts".)


Let's just pause to focus on three interesting takeaways from the Times piece in particular:

1) That it's surprisingly almost entirely women (and a large number of lawyers in particular) taking up DIY taxidermy as a hobby; 2) That vegans participate in this shit; 3) That the woman quoted in the piece put her dog on a raw-food diet.


Back to Toronto, where it only took us 2 months to ape whatever trend's popped up in Brooklyn - a new personal best! What can we expect for this $200 session?

Join us for an 8-hour intensive hands-on lesson, in which you will transform a deceased rat into a unique and enduring art object.


Oh boy.

What do I get? Each participant will be provided with a student kit that includes: Nitrile gloves

a rat specimen

scalpel

bead eyes

stitching materials

pins

and all supplies and the knowledge required to create a finished taxidermic rat.

I really appreciate that the dead rat is included! I mean, if I'm paying the same price as what I'd pay for a decent notebook computer for a taxidermy lesson, I don't want it to be BYOR.

No special equipment or supplies are required of participants, but you may want to bring an apron. Although the process is less messy than you might think, it's advisable to wear closed-toed shoes and clothing you won't mind getting a bit dirty.


Can we just say what we're all thinking? Everyone who attends these things is probably a serial killer. I mean, if they haven't killed already, I at least want the FBI tracking anyone who signs up for this.

SHEMAR MOORE'S CHARACTER IN "CRIMINAL MINDS": Did you notice anything about him, any signs he'd do something... like this?


SERIAL KILLER'S NEIGHBOUR: I mean... he mostly kept to himself. Although, now that I think about it, he DID go to an all-day session where a bunch of people played with bloody rat guts, and then they dressed up the dead rats like Victorian gentlemen, in little bowler hats.

SHEMAR MOORE: ... This job never gets easier.

Though we will provide some supplies for posing (fabrics and basic hand-sewing supplies), you may want to bring props and accessories for your finished product. Note: an adult rat is about the size of a Barbie doll, but with a more realistic waistline. Keep this in mind when choosing furniture or props for your piece.


Hah! Take that, Barbie! Maybe if you Mattel fatcats had made a doll with more realistic proportions, people wouldn't be forced to play dressup with roadkill.

10AM – 2PM: Skinning and stuffing Basic hide skinning techniques as related to rats. During this time, we will go through code of ethics, process of sourcing, preparing, skinning, stuffing and stitching up your new rat.


A code of ethics! Earlier I had reservations about saying that this was hipsters, but you know how I know it's for hipsters? They spend a good chunk of the first three hours having a roundtable over whether their dead rat was ethically sourced.

2PM – 3PM: Lunch Break Class is located between Bloor & College with plenty of food offerings!

These warm rat guts are making me jones for some Subway™!

3PM – 6PM Posing, Pinning and Final Touches

EIGHT HOURS! These people are fucking around with dead rats for eight hours! That's seven more hours than a cat would want to play with a dead rat.


Anyways - if you're around Toronto next Saturday, you should check it out.