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A spokesman for Lakeside shopping centre has confirmed that Sisters of Mercy will be playing live in the shopping centre throughout Black Friday in what will be one of their longest shows ever and free of charge to all bargain hunters.

“It’s always manic in here on Black Friday, but with an ageing Andrew Eldritch growling ‘Temple of Love’ over a repetitive beat from a 1980s drum machine, it’ll be a gothic hyper shopping frenzy.

“If we can just make every shopper drink four pints of snakebite & black and convince them that they should shop till they drop because their God has given up on them. And eat raw liver.”

The move has had the full support of many of the shops within Lakeside. A spokesman for Debenhams said “If we don’t achieve year on year growth and we’re feeling sad, we don’t even have to and sit in our bedrooms and listen to Sisters of Mercy. They’ll be playing here. So it’s a win win situation.”

Whilst Andrew Eldritch himself was unavailable for comment former Sisters of Mercy band mate Wayne Hussey told us that he would most likely be as excited about the event as the management of Lakeside. “He’ll be chomping at the bit. It’s black Friday. He loves black.”