Aria: SJW. Fake positive posts about staying hydrated. Refers to her followers as ‘sparkly ethereal butterflies’ or ‘bejeweled empowered moon warriors’ or some shit. Vegan desert recipes galore.

Alison: Screencaps of old French films with cryptic subtitles. Quotes from Mussolini and Machiavelli. Reposts Lana Del Rey gifsets and claims them for her own. Posts shitty poems under a ‘READ MORE’ link and gets pissed off when people reblog it. Inexplicably has thousands of followers, despite not interacting with any of them.

Spencer: Embarrassing fandom junk everywhere. Most of it is NSFW. Random factoids about Greek mythology and forgotten Scottish queens. Reblogs inaccurate posts from the science side of tumblr and says shady ass shit about the OP in the tags.

Emily: Nice + shy nature blogger who stays in her lane. Has a secret sideblog full of porn.

Hanna: High-res gifsets of Nicki Minaj. TYPES EVERYTHING IN CAPS LOCK. Gains notoriety for taking inappropriate selfies, (At funerals, in handcuffs at the Police station, etc.) is nice to her followers but will not hesitate to drag a sexist fuckboy to hell if she needs to. Doles out a lot of beauty tips, like how to contour and whatnot.

Mona: Has at least 100,000 followers. Ironically reblogs Pepe the frog memes. Starts shit constantly. Sends herself anon hate mail.