An Arsenal academy coach has been fined and banned for three matches after he was found to have called a female teenage referee a “little prick” and reduced her to tears. The behaviour of Alex Nichols during and after an Under-9s game against Reading earlier in the year was described by a Football Association disciplinary panel as having “painted an abhorrent picture”.

Nichols was charged on two counts: for using improper language and behaviour towards the referee during the game and, more seriously, for insulting her afterwards.

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The referee, described in the FA’s written judgement as “a female minor, a child”, was crying towards the end of the match and after it, according to witnesses. Referees must be at least 14 before they can take charge of a junior game. She told the panel that Nichols had made her feel “humiliated, belittled and bullied”.

After the game she refused his offer of a handshake, to which he said: “How classy, little prick.” The referee said Nichols had later come to her to apologise for his behaviour but she did not accept that, either. Nichols denied having made the remark.

An Arsenal spokesman said: “At Arsenal we do not accept or tolerate behaviour of this nature. We took appropriate action, suspending the coach immediately the allegation was brought to our attention. This was the first allegation of this nature in his long coaching career and he has been warned about his future conduct.”

Nichols was originally found guilty of only the first charge and cleared of using the abusive words after the game. But the FA appealed against the ruling of the regulatory commission and a second hearing found Nichols guilty on both counts. His fine was increased to £400.

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Nichols had loudly criticised a series of the referees’ decisions but he claimed that he simply said, “OK, fine”, after she turned down his post-match handshake. The appeal board said: “Even though the referee is likely still to have been in a state of distress, we remain of the view that it is highly unlikely that the referee would have misheard ‘OK, fine,’ for ‘How classy, little prick’.”

Arsenal told the panel Nichols had been a youth coach for 12 years, nine of them at professional clubs, and he had never previously been charged by the FA.