If I have enough time, I like to take a nap during the middle of the day. I almost never get the chance to do it, because society doesn’t work that way. It should. I hate the whole “working hard or hardly working” mentality. Can’t I be doing both? Why are we expected to bust our asses for so many hours every week? As more and more jobs get automated, wouldn’t it make sense to redefine full-time work?

But whatever, I’m talking about naps. They’re awesome. Nothing’s better than crashing on the couch at around three or four in the afternoon and waking up whenever. I listen to people talking about napping, I always get a little suspicious whenever someone tries to tell me about the effectiveness of a power nap. I’m sorry, but if you send me to sleep for only ten to fifteen minutes, we’re both going to have a pretty serious problem on our hands ten to fifteen minutes from now.

No, when I go in for a nap, I never set an alarm. It’s one of the only times in an adult life where you get to wake up as if you didn’t really have to. I wake up in the morning, it’s because I have to. You can’t just lie in bed all day, unless you’re sick, and that doesn’t count. But a good hour-long, two, two-and-a-half hour nap, that’s the best.

I like to, after I wake up, just kind of stay there on the couch for a while longer. Like I’ll be awake, but I won’t open my eyes for another five or ten minutes. And then once I face the waking world, I’ll just stretch out, check my phone. And then I’m up.

After a really good nap, I feel like my day has been completely rebooted. It’s like I’m somehow siphoning off some extra morning energy from an unknown afternoon source. It’s great. Everything I do after a nap is more productive, I’m happier, people are happier with me. Why can’t we make room for naps in modern society?

Does anybody else think that getting up, working, and then going to bed is kind of a dumb idea? Can’t we make some room for naps? I’d love to take a nap right now. But it’s already ten at night, and so I feel like if I take a nap now, that’ll be it, I might as well just go to bed. No, tomorrow. Tomorrow I’m definitely taking a nap. You hear that boss? I don’t care if you’re not supposed to sleep in the coat closet. I’m taking a nap.