MGM’s new adaptation of Carrie has already recruited The Stand comics writer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, who lends his familiarity with adapting Stephen King’s work, and Boys Don’t Cry director Kimberly Peirce, who lends her familiarity with stories about horrible things happening to young people because of genitals. But throughout there’s been no question that the project will live or die engulfed in adolescent rage-flames by its casting. That’s why King’s suggestion that he’d like to see Lindsay Lohan coated in pig’s blood and maybe also star in the movie was met with derisive snickers, and it’s why Peirce has now made a far more serious, "rising star" choice for her lead: It's Chloe Moretz, who’s been formally offered the role of the homely wallflower who hits puberty and commits hormonal homicide, instead of just skimming Our Bodies Ourselves and being horrible to everyone, like most girls.


Moretz, of course, is no stranger to dark matters or remakes, having starred in bloody reboots like Let Me In and the upcoming Dark Shadows, and she still carries a lingering aura of homicidal crazy from Kick-Ass—aspects that should make up for the fact that in no reasonable universe does she look like the sort of girl who would be ostracized and humiliated in high school. The creative team will now move on to finding someone to play Carrie’s psychotic mom, and pretending that they missed William Katt’s phone calls.