A few years back, while researching a story on nuclear weaponry, a veteran of the Soviet atomic testing program told me of a prophylactic measure taken by technicians before each test: Hard liquor. A few shots of distilled spirit, he explained, were believed to stop the absorption of radioisotopes.

Nice theory, although I'm not too sure if it was grounded in fact: The Food and Drug Administration, for instance, recommends potassium iodide, not Old Grandad, in the event of a radiological or nuclear emergency (potassium iodide blocks the uptake of radioactive iodine-131 in the thyroid gland).

Still, it was a common enough piece of folk medicine. I spent a couple of years living in Ukraine, and more than a few people told me stories of heavy "preventative" drinking after the 1986 Chernobyl disaster. Lily Poberezhska, writing for the International Atomic Energy Agency bulletin, recalls Kievites drinking "unprecedented amounts" of red wine in the belief that it might cleanse their system. True story: The gastronome downstairs from my apartment even sold a brand of iodized horilka under the brand name "Doktor Vodka."

All this brings me to a press release issued last night by a company called Nukepills.com announcing the introduction of its Dirty Bomb Emergency Kit. The kit – retailing for $249.99 – includes decontamination solutions, anti-radiation handy wipes and "military-grade" personal radiation detectors. Potassium iodide tabs, however, are sold separately.

So if you have a few hundred bucks to burn – and extra shelf space next to the 12-gauge shotgun ammunition and canned beans – order away. Me, I prefer stocking up on red wine.

[PHOTO: Narod.ru]

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