To the millions of clueless singles who begrudgingly use online dating services, it would seem that the hardest part of it all is creating a dating profile to begin with—Which photo to use? What to say? Who are you?




The real question is: why try to be creative in a world full of loneliness where everything ultimately ends in a dark void, much like the vacuousness of the universe itself? It really makes no difference.

Anyway, comedy writer Aaron Gillies claims to have filled out his dating profile using Google’s Autocomplete feature. Because effort is wasted on a dating service that will only lead to a series of weird get-togethers with unmotivated losers and miscreants who fail to understand the veritas of love. Who are we anyway?


As a result of his experiment, Gillies’ profile looks like this:

“My turn ons are hugging and depression.” Anything truer?

Contact the author at clover.hope@jezebel.com .