Apparently, the capital of the Buckeye state has more going on than drunken college students howling at their college football team every weekend. A new analysis from Yelp and Realtor.com has determined via the wonders of big data that Columbus, Ohio is where it’s at for hipsters.

In other words: Take your hipster beards and avocado toast and suck it, San Francisco.

The two companies put their data into a swirling cauldron of over-priced single-brew coffee and mixed in some CDs of obscure local bands whose first records were much better before they signed with major labels. Or, as the companies explained: “‘Hottest Hipster Markets in America’ list identifies the most in-demand housing markets in the U.S. with the highest concentrations of ‘hipster’ businesses for home buyers looking to embrace indie culture.”

So, what makes a business a “hipster business”? Glad you asked. According to Yelp, it’s basically when users mention the word “hipster” in their reviews. These can refer to a “wide range of businesses, from music venues and dive bars to restaurants, barbers, and vinyl record shops.”

“Yelpers are great at identifying up-and-coming areas and businesses, which allows us to predict trends as well as uncover detailed data on what’s happening in local economies right now,” said Carl Bialik, Yelp data editor, in the blog post. “While ‘hipster’ is something of a cliché, it turns out to be a useful term to uncover the types of businesses and attributes we often associate with cool hunters, such as visually appealing interiors and less touristy parts of town.”

But still, Columbus?

Actually, it’s more a particular neighborhood in Columbus: Clintonville. Wikipedia notes that Clintonville is in north-central Columbus and has growing “cachet.”

Yelp and Realtor.com explain that, in general, the Columbus area “features art, music, theater, museums, and culture.” Also, Ohio State University. And perhaps more surprising, they note “a thriving startup scene, with nearly 72 startups for every 1,000 businesses in the area.”

But hang on, because here’s the real shocker: “After New York and Los Angeles, Columbus is home to more fashion designers than any other U.S. metro area, with a pipeline of young design talent coming from the Columbus College of Art & Design.”

Wait, what?

It doesn’t hurt that the median house listed for sale there is $269,455, which is about what it costs to buy a cardboard box under an overpass in San Francisco.

Listed at number two is Seattle, which is both obvious and boring.

San Francisco — or more specifically, the Haight neighborhood — is all the way down at six on the list. Yelp writes: “The draw: Hippie mecca Haight-Ashbury has transitioned into a hipster-friendly neighborhood.” Which is a phrase that will likely cause long-time residents to claw their eyes out and weep for the lost dream that was once San Francisco.

Okay. Whatever.

Here’s the full list. With amusing footnoted explanations at the end.