Stevinel Oneshot: Always Here





The midnight sky glimmered with stars over the flower covered valley. A full moon shown down over a couple of lovers who had settled themselves on a blanket, staring up at the light of the sky hand in hand as they laid on their backs.

“This is always so relaxing,” Steven began, barely turning his head to glance at the pigtailed Gem who lay beside him.

“You’ve been under a lot of stress. I’m glad you took some time to breath,” replied Spinel with a smile as she laced their fingers together. “No matter how old you get, you still try to carry everything on your shoulders...”

With a gentle chuckle, Steven looked back at the stars and sighed. “Well that’s why I have you, right? You’re always around to ease my mind when it gets to be too much.”

Keeping their hands together, Spinel turned on her side and snuggled close to Steven while hugging his arm. “I’ll always be here for you,” she whispered happily.

Keeping his gaze directed at the stars, Steven felt his eyes begin to burn, cold tears slowly slipping down the side of his face. “Yeah...I know you’re always here.” Though he smiled, Steven couldn’t stop the tears as a lump formed in the back of his throat.

“Steven?” Spinel began in concern, releasing his arm and sitting up to star down at him.

Though his eyes glistened with tears, he could clearly see the Gems bright magenta hue of Spinels eyes. He reached up, placing his palm against her cheek. “You’re beautiful,” he breathed out happily.

Spinel leaned her cheek against his palm and placed her hand over his. “...you’re just as sappy as ever,” replied the Gem as she closed her eyes. “I love that about you.”

After taking a moment to burn her profile into his memory, Steven sat up and leaned in to kiss Spinels lips tenderly, his tears overflowing as he pulled back to see her smiling face. “I miss you so much...” he choked out.

“I know...but I’m here for you,” she reminded him.

Shaking his head, Steven took a breath in an attempt calm his tears. “I know I shouldn’t keep coming here, but I...” his voice trailed off, unable to tear his eyes away from the illusion of his lover he’d created inside his mothers room. Of course she looked exactly as he remembered her, she said everything he would expect her to, but no matter how much he wanted it, his Spinel was gone. “...I still can’t let you go.”

“You don’t have to,” the fake Spinel replied with a tender smile, still holding his hand firmly against her cheek.

“I know this isn’t healthy. The others keep telling me not to come in here...” continued Steven quietly, swallowing back his tears. “It’s been nearly seventeen years without you, but the pain just gets worse. Every time I see the girls, I can’t help wishing you were here. You’d be so proud of them. Stella is a little reckless, but she’s really coming into her own. Raine is living well, you don’t have to worry. We’re still working on a way to help her...and I think we’re getting close.”

“As long as you’re all happy, that’s enough for me.”

Choking back a sob, Steven cupped the illusions face in his hands, gently pressing his forehead to hers. He knew this wasn’t the Spinel he wanted, but it was all he had left. No matter how many years past, he couldn’t stop coming here. He would come into this room just to see her, to hold her hand, to talk with her as if she never left. It wasn’t real. He knew that very well. The other Gems often tried to keep him from coming here. Pearl urged him to stop, reminding him that this would only make things worse. She was right. Every time he came in here, it became more and more difficult to leave knowing that once the door closed, he’d have to face a world without Spinel again. If it weren’t for their children, Steven was sure his heart would have died when he lost her. “I will always love you...” he whispered.

“I love you too, my Steven. ...and as long as you love me, everything will be okay.” The fake Spinel replied, sitting quietly now, allowing Steven to collect himself before he pulled his hands back and reluctantly got to his feet. She stayed seated, watching Steven while he wiped his eyes and turned for the door without looking back at her. He knew that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to leave and he couldn’t bring himself to poof her away.

Reaching the door with his back still turned to the illusion of the Gem he loved, Steven took one last breath to ready himself. Once again, he’d leave this room and be forced to live in a world that she was no longer a part of. Never able to say goodbye, Steven was silent as he left the room, only looking back as the door slowly closed behind him.

The illusion he’d created was smiling, but tears streamed down her face as she gently waved goodbye, her body vanishing in a whisper of clouds before the door shut completely and left Steven feeling once again that half of his heart had shattered.