a lesson I've been learning repeatedly this past year: nobody benefits from your self-deprecation.

part of the reason people say nice things to you is because they want to connect, and self-deprecating deflection doesn't just say "I don't like myself that much," it also says "I don't think you know what you're talking about and I'd rather not meet you on this level"

I have anxiety, and my desire to use self-deprecating words to shield myself from vulnerability & the risk of failure is definitely real.



But when I look people in the eye and say "thank you! that's really kind of you to say" it helps build relationships and it feels empowering.