The following video was made by a German YouTube satirist named Hagen Grell. Despite the humor in it, his entertaining rant has an edge — it expresses a fundamental truth about the hidden undercurrents of German culture, using satirical means.

Many thanks to Nash Montana for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes for the subtitling:

The original video from HALG’s channel

Transcript:

0:02 Here is HALG! Did you miss me?

0:08 HALG is ANGRY

0:12 Beware Satire! This program includes cuss words and raw male language. Snowflakes and hipsters could fall victim to convulsive crying.

0:15 One year has passed since my last video,

0:18 and in the meantime our friends, the Nafris,

0:21 — the North African serial offenders,

0:24 as our police finally correctly describe them —

0:27 have gathered up a lot of courage!

0:30 “We can do whatever we want with the stupid Germans!”

0:33 Germany is by now the most hated trafficker of

0:36 tens of thousands of criminal North Africans

0:39 that come to Europe, and Germany is

0:42 the laughingstock of the Arab world!

0:45 “Oooh yes please culturally enrich me!”

0:48 HALG says NO!

0:51 From Hamburg, from Cologne, from Mannheim, from everywhere,

0:54 more and more police reports surface of cops who have simply had enough!

0:57 The way a mass of crime gets covered up by the ministry of the interior,

1:00 refugees being given free iPhones,

1:03 and they just redefine Nafris, North African serial offenders,

1:06 into Germans just like that!

1:09 People, this is enough!

1:12 “Hey old man why don’t you f*** off, Germany is mine

1:15 and my friends’ now, yeah?”

1:18 NO! No.

1:21 And just imagine this for once, today this puny little North African

1:24 approached me and pretends to be a badass.

1:27 Hello! One meter 70 maybe [5′ 6″], weighs barely 70 kilos [150 lbs],

1:30 and he walks up to me saying,

1:33 “Hey what are you looking at me like that for”!

1:36 Well, you should be glad I didn’t see you immediately.

1:39 Tries to be a badass, approaches me like that,

1:42 sees that I am not the typical wimpy, whiny German,

1:45 and then he walks past me like this.

1:48 Lucky you, buddy! People, this is the result of a lack

1:51 of proper upbringing, and that is partly our fault!

1:54 We let it happen that these half-baked hooligans

1:57 feel like kings here. We let them believe that they

2:00 were stronger than Germans.

2:03 Folks, we have to do them a favor

2:06 and drag them back to reality!

2:09 Think about it! All the Gutmenschen say, “Oh, these poor Africans,

2:12 I don’t want that anything to happen to them.”

2:15 Well, I don’t want that either. But I also don’t want some puny

2:18 North African to walk along and then think

2:21 he has to pick a fight with a guy like me.

2:24 Imagines I’d be thinking “refugees welcome” and want to high-five him,

2:27 and he walks directly into my high five,

2:30 and his North African glass bones would shatter like a porcelain plate.

2:34 What do you think of that, dear Gutmenschen?

2:37 That North African will be on your conscience, then.

2:40 Because you made him believe that he is the king,

2:43 even though he is not.

2:46 And that’s why, dear Gutmenschen and patriots, let us all

2:49 hold hands and sing Kumbaya,

2:52 and let’s teach the Nafris that they are merely guests in Germany,

2:55 and not the masters of the house,

2:58 so that nothing bad will happen to them in Germany.

3:01 Because I am telling you one thing:

3:04 Germans put up with way too much for way too long,

3:07 but when a German is sufficiently provoked,

3:10 and when a German is aggravated enough,

3:13 then a German strikes.

3:16 And where a German strikes once,

3:19 not a blade of grass will ever grow there again.

3:24 Hello, friends. Hang here with this new and drastic format

3:27 for the one-year celebration of my “to the German women” video,

3:30 many thanks for watching, and if you liked the video,

3:33 rate it up so that I know I should

3:36 continue to make such videos.

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3:45 please donate so I can continue to produce content like this.