WASHINGTON—Acknowledging that they got the point and were ready to move on to something else, Americans from across the country confirmed Wednesday that it would be fine for Major League Baseball to just start the World Series right now. “Honestly, why not just pick a couple teams and start playing? We’ve been watching for four months already, we know who’s good, so we might as well wrap this thing up,” said Lawrence, KS resident Jeff Moreno, who echoed the sentiment of millions while explaining how playing another two months of baseball seemed like overkill at this point, and that they were going to start watching football and basketball pretty soon. “At the very least, they should skip to the championship series and make them single-game play-ins—nobody is going to argue with that. Everyone who wanted to go see a game this season has gone by now, and we’ve seen enough home runs. Let’s cross this off the list before it gets cold outside.” At press time, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred had agreed with the rest of the nation and announced that the Houston Astros would defeat the Chicago Cubs 4-2 to become the new World Series champions.

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