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Today was a solemn day in Parliament - where MPs spoke for three hours on the "unspeakable evil" of the Syrian civil war.

Well, some MPs.

Just as the emotional debate was unfolding, a brigade of Tories discussed something much more pressing down the corridor.

Buying the Queen a new Royal Yacht.

By a stark coincidence, the 90-minute debate went on at the exact moment colleagues were discussing the barrel bombing of civilian hospitals and aid convoys in Aleppo.

Tory MP Jake Berry claimed replacing the Royal Yacht Britannia, which was decommissioned in 1997, would give Britain a glittering post-Brexit symbol of global trade.

He claimed it could travel around the world showcasing British industry and host humanitarian meetings with world leaders.

And his tub-thumping support was joined by at least five other Tories - one of whom said Britain should spend aid cash on the boat.

The idea was torpedoed by the government despite a minister saying he would happily look at any non-taxpayer-funded plans.

But that didn't stop the Tories, plus MPs from the DUP and UUP, showing their optimism in Parliament's second chamber Westminster Hall.

Sadly, none of them found time to give a speech in the debate on Syria.

The Syria debate ended at 3.49pm, and the Royal Yacht debate ended at 4pm.

So to make sure their warm words aren't overshadowed, we have reproduced them for you here.

This MP said we should spend aid cash on the yacht...

(Image: Parliament Live)

Tory Sir Gerald Howarth suggested the cost of the yacht should be split between the Ministry of Defence, the Business Energy and Industrial Strategy Department, the Foreign Office - and one more.

This would be, "of course, the ‘rich as Croesus’ [an ancient King] Department for International Development.

"We’ve got to find something good to come out of the money there.”

The department is charged with spending 0.7% of Britain's GDP on foreign aid.

...and forget the NHS deficit...

Sir Gerald also moaned: "Too often our media has dismissed ventures like this as luxuries the nation cannot afford - translating the cost in to x number of hospital beds or y number of teachers."

...and stop the 'embarrassment' of travelling by 'easyJet'

Sir Gerald then used the example of Tony Blair's "very modest" £10m plane dubbed Blair Force One and said it was much better than arriving by easyJet.

"At last we now have an aircraft in which the Queen and the Prime Minister can fly around the world in a modern RAF jet," he said.

"Instead of having the ignominy of having to watch on our televisions as our Prime Minister turns up at some foreign venue - and I remember this particularly on being greeted by President Obama - what in? A third world, chartered commercial airliner.

"I felt very embarrassed and I think many people shared that sense of embarrassment."

He added: "We are neither a third world nor a second rate power. We are a world leader and we should not be ashamed of proclaiming the same.

"And I do know as a defence minister the difference it made when I pitched up at some international gathering in a Royal Air Force aeroplane, I got treated with greater respect than had I turned up in some media desired alternative - in an EasyJet flight.

"There would not have been a string of cars with blue lights waiting to greet a British minister - it would have been some minor official. This is very important to the dignity of our country."

This MP nearly burst into song

Ian Paisley Jr told MPs: "I feel like bursting into song by singing 'Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the waves. Many many jobs she intends to save.'"

The Democratic Unionist MP for North Antrim said the yacht would be a "floating advertisement for everything that is wonderful about the United Kingdom".

He added: "I hope very much that the minister gets on with it."

This MP loved its 'splendid' dining table

(Image: Parliament Live)

Noted astrology fanatic and Capricorn David Tredinnick, a Tory, praised the "splendid" boat's rear.

"I visited Britannia when she was in service and I remember there were really two ships," he said.

"The front run by the Navy, and the rear this amazing platform for entertaining and persuading people to our interests.

"I think the dining room table would seat 50 from memory. It was an absolutely splendid boat.

"But interestingly, Her Majesty’s quarters were unbelievably spartan, so there was nothing in the green camp to look at there - it was very rough and ready accommodation."

This MP complained about public opinion

(Image: Parliament Live)

Tory Jake Berry, who called the debate, said: "A royal yacht - unlike our recently acquired state plane - is a small piece of Britain that can move from international port to international port, showing the soft power and prestige of our nation.

"It is a floating Royal Palace and can be used to host meetings as a platform for our humanitarian mission around the globe and a showcase for the best of British industry around the globe.

"No other country around the world, if presented with such an opportunity, would have squandered it away in the court of public opinion and envy that happened in 1997 with the decommissioning of the Royal Yacht Britannia."

(Image: Tony Marsh Photography)

He added: "The most moving and compelling arguments haven’t in fact been made by the newspapers and colleagues.

"They have been made by the hundreds of members of the public who have written to me and emailed to me comments or suggestions of support.

"Some have gone as far as sending me cheques - even people offering to give up their winter fuel allowance this year to pay for a new royal yacht."

This MP sent a message to Buckingham Palace

(Image: Parliament Live)

Tory Oliver Colville said: "If I might say, the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip, is the high steward of Plymouth.

"I think we should send him a clear message that we're very supportive of having this ship rebuilt and relocated to Plymouth as well."

He said it'd be the opportunity for a "fantastic trade exhibition" in his seaside constituency and create a "great tourist attraction".

"That is going to encourage tourists to come to this wonderful part of the south west," he said.

"Britain needs to encourage American tourists to come in."

This MP said the 'formidable' royals deserve a boat

Tory MP Flick Drummond said: "There is an excellent case for using the Royal Britannia as a floating base for diplomacy.

"The royal family are a formidable and hard-working element of our UK soft power mission.

"A ship equipped with conferencing and hospitality facilities offers them a great base."

She added: "Britannia was not just a floating hotel, but a symbol in her own right of the prestige and reputation of the UK.

"Her operational use should be as wide as possible.

"By all means title her the Royal Yacht, but she should be capable of adapting as need requires.

"We are a country dependent on the sea for our past security and future prosperity - yet we are as a country increasingly sea-blind.

"Air travel is a long-distance mode of transport that dominates our everyday thoughts but it is not actually the most important. 80% of all world trade is sea-borne."

This MP got cross about calling the boat 'it'

At one point Tory James Gray intervened to tell the SNP’s Deirdre Brock off for referring to Britannia as “it” rather than “she”.

She went on to say Britannia is kept as “the museum that she is.”

This MP insisted it won't be a 'gin palace'

(Image: Parliament Live)

Ulster Unionist MP Danny Kinahan said: "We want to see the new royal yacht being an absolute example of what is best...

"As we’ve said, not a gin palace, not a gaudy palace - but the absolute mark of everything that is best about the United Kingdom.

"I think if we set that target in place and all work together it is a fantastic idea."

But not everyone was in favour...

SNP member Deidre Brock has the decommissioned Britannia in her Edinburgh constituency.

She noted a recent YouGov poll that showed that only Conservative voters are more in favour of a new yacht - by 41% to 39%.

To howls of disgust from the Tories present, she said: “How on Earth does anyone square the fact that benefit sanctions mean that the poorest, weakest and most disadvantaged people are being left to go cold and hungry, but we will all be paying for what must seem to them like a new pleasure cruiser for the Royal Family?”

Her SNP colleague Angus MacNeil added: "The answer to the calamity that's facing the UK is not a yacht.

"The idea that to get to the front of the queue depends on having a royal yacht is an idea that belongs on the back of a fag packet."

Shadow Trade Secretary Barry Gardiner, Labour's representative, said as he opposed it: "Let's hope I am not walking the plank into troubled waters.

"In my time in Parliament this is no less than the third time this matter has been dredged up, Marie Celeste-like, to the surface."

...And the idea's now sleeping with the fishes

Tory trade minister Mark Garnier, a former commodore of the House of Commons yacht club, said the vessel was an icon of Britain.

"I for one have always been a great fan of the royal yacht," he beamed. "It has been involved in many totemic events in our history."

He did say "we would all be keen to see" any privately-funded plan for a royal yacht.

But he torpedoed Tory dreams by adding: "Recommissioning the Royal Yacht Britannia is not something the government is considering at all.

"There are some clear issues on feasibility and cost and the existing ship is a popular tourist attraction in Edinburgh."

He complained trade deals were as much about "hard graft" as "the pomp and splendour of the signing table".

He added devastatingly: "There are hard facts which stand in the way of a new yacht."