To most people, holding high standards of personal achievement is considered only a good thing - yet the reality for many mid-life men is that pressures to achieve can cause unthinkable emotional and psychological pain.

In 21st Century Britain, the decline of typically male industry and a rise in family breakdown mean that all too many middle-aged men now believe that they fall short of the ‘gold standard’ of masculinity. They are neither the providers nor the protectors that traditional masculinity requires.

"Even though society’s attitude towards the role of men has changed, the prevailing idea of ‘masculinity’ promotes independence, career success and providing" Ruth Sutherland

This focus and desire to live up to the masculine ‘gold standard’ contributes to the devastatingly high level of suicide in men in mid-life. They are the ‘buffer generation’, who have fallen foul of rapid social change. So severe is the problem that the suicide rate among men from 45-59 is now at its highest level since 2001. Of the 6,233 people who killed themselves in 2013, almost eight our of ten were men - a situation that has been rightly labelled a "national public health emergency" and is the focus of Thursday's International Men's Day.

The issue is particularly severe among working class men, who traditionally define themselves as being the main bread winner. Being unemployed can be particularly psychologically difficult for them and tragically, in some cases, can bring on thoughts of suicide.

Working class men are particularly susceptible to the pressures of the masculine gold standard

But the complications that arise from the changing face of the labour market over the last 50 don't stop there. It is not simply having a job that is important to fulfil masculine identity but also the kind of job. With the loss of traditional male occupations, working class men have lost another source of masculine pride.

It probably comes as no surprise that unemployment or difficulties at work can undermine people’s self-esteem – irrespective of age. However, in mid-life, it is particularly difficult because there are fewer opportunities to start again. For those middle-aged men who used to work in a now declining industry and equally, for those who did not receive a good education, the future can look very difficult.

This is before we consider the immediate and long-term effects of family breakdown and the normalisation of solo-living. Being a husband, father and provider is at the very heart of the idea of the masculine ‘gold standard’. In the research report ‘Men Suicide and Society’, commissioned by the Samaritans, leading academics found that if men feel unable to fulfil this role, for any number of reasons, it can be extremely painful. It strikes right to the core, and makes some feel bereft of their masculinity and even their dignity.

In fact, it is thought that separation from children is a significant factor in the high rate of suicide among middle-aged men. When relationships fail, men are more likely to be displaced from their family home and have less access to their children. This means a loss of status and respect, as well as increasing their isolation.

Men can feel isolated and alone after leaving the family home Credit: Alamy

Even though society’s attitude towards the role of men has changed, the ‘hegemonic’, prevailing idea of ‘masculinity’ promotes independence, career success and providing. It's a form of social perfectionism - a gold standard that, when combined with personality traits such as rumination, can lead some to become preoccupied with their perceived shortcomings.

How should we respond to this crisis? Particularly given that the propensity to self-medicate with alcohol and illicit drugs is more common among men. It is just not enough to encourage men to ‘open up’ (or worse still ‘man up’); their needs require a much more thoughtful response.

"Suicide prevention policy and practice needs to take account of men’s beliefs and concerns, in particular what it is to ‘be a man’" Ruth Sutherland

The answer is not to criticise men for not being more like women. Instead of suggesting that they quickly become comfortable with feeling vulnerable, we need to recognise and addressing their needs as men – realising that these are different from those of women. Suicide prevention policy and practice needs to take account of men’s beliefs and concerns, in particular what it is to ‘be a man’.

It also needs to be recognised that for men in mid-life, loneliness is a very significant cause of their high risk of suicide. We need to enable these men to strengthen their social relationships; and we should make available relationship counselling, to lessen the harmful aspects of divorce or separation.

An explicit link between alcohol reduction and suicide prevention strategies also needs to be established. The relationships between alcohol consumption and male suicide requires both wider acknowledgement and thorough research.

Good mental and physical health is a fundamental human need and health policy must start to give both equal weighting. If someone came into A&E with the symptoms of a heart attack in London, we would not send them to a unit in the North of England for treatment, which is the equivalent of what is happening to people in crisis. Beds are now in such short supply that people are having to travel hundreds of miles away from home to get the help they need.

Ruth Sutherland is the CEO of Samaritans

Samaritans is committed to campaigning to create a level playing field for the treatment of mental and physical health conditions. As part of our Manifesto, we called on the Government to bring this about, and we will continue to highlight this issue.

To close the gap, we urgently need greater investment in mental health services and therapies, more available funds for mental health research and the launch of public awareness campaigns that promote good mental health and wellbeing.

If you, or anyone you know, needs someone to listen, you can talk to Samaritans. You can tell us anything, it always stays between us. We are available round the clock, every single day of the year, providing a safe place for anyone who is struggling to cope. Please call free on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, or visit www.samaritans.org to find details of the nearest branch.