First I want to give you a little bit of background. He is my Disciplinarian. It's not a D/s relationship. We've been meeting regularly for the last 3.5 years. In September of this year, I moved halfway around the world with my job. So we now only see each other when I am able to travel back to the US. Which means once or twice a year. We communicate 3-4 times a week via yahoo messenger. I've come to trust him, even with things I never thought I would be able to.

At heart, I am a submissive. It's taken a long time for me to realize it and to embrace. Even though I am not his submissive I have a strong desire to please him, which is why I very rarely have trouble following the rules he has given me. My question is, how can I show him (aside from simply following the rules) that this is who I am. He knows that my nature is submissive. He has commented on it many times. but is there a way in a LDR to show the submissiveness I feel?

Hello there,

You are in a complex but very common relationship type. A lot of people in this age have gone to having online long-distance relationships with occasional visits. While I am sure it's not common to have to travel to another country to see their partners, it probably isn't unique. I don't envy your current situation but I'm glad that you are able to make it work as best as you can.

To your question about how you can exhibit your submission from such a long distance is going to be challenging. I don't know how your relationship works and if you are able to make some changes without them first being approved. And also, since he already knows you are submissive I'm not sure how much more you need to demonstrate it to him. Perhaps what you are really seeking is a way to experience it yourself on a more frequent basis.

There are a few ideas that come to mind that might work for you. While it might not work in all situations I think you might be inspired by these ideas to come up with something that works for you.

Change the way you type/speak to emulate a more submissive, receptive form of speech. Use a lot of polite mannerisms and non-demanding. This can be as simple as changing, "I'm going to get a drink," to "Please excuse me, I'd like to get a drink." In text, it can help to use the Upper/lower case typing style where pronouns are capitalized when referring to the Dominant and lower case when referring to the submissive. It can even include "Slash speak" which is incorporating both upper and lower case in pronouns such as Us and us becoming U/us. Dress a certain way for your several times a week conversations. Wear clothing that makes you feel more submissive. Even if he doesn't see what you are wearing, the simple fact that you dressed a certain way will shine in your conversation. Start or maintain a journal that you can share with him. Having him inside your mind can definitely show him how submissive you are and get a glimpse into your thought process.

Here are some more articles on the site about long distance relationships:

I have a free ebook available on this site about Online Submission and while you aren't solely online I bet there are even more tips in there that you can incorporate into your own long distance relationship that could help you.

Thanks for the question!

--lunaKM