start wanderer

grab scimitar

kill the 2 sword hollow in front of fog gate

double hit asylum demon then light attacks

goto burg

buy 5 throwing knives heater shield short bow and wood arrows

kill him

go up the ladder and do the other lower burg jump

go to griggs door and save quit

all you have to do is open door

save quit if necesary at shortcut door

grab resin

kill taurus 4 hit to stagger

throwing knife drake three 1 handed light attacks for drake sword

in n out of elevator

gargs

bone after bell

great soul arrow and sorcers catalyst from griggs

level int to 20 and attune gr8 soul arrow

kick lautrec but don't grab ring

equip bow and catalyst

run through new londo grab the soul on the path to seal tower

aim at ingward with bow then blast with soul arrow repeat til ded

jump down to drakes and grab rtsr

dorksign out

grab fap ring

grab soul in front of door to valley of drakes

blighttown drop

roll to the left and kill the guy to get moss clump

use it when @ rtsr range

noscope quelaags amazing chest

^ shit's cool yo

ring bell pop quelaag soul and bone back

buy great heavy soul arrow and bellowing dragon crest

equip drake sword catalyst and wanderer chest in elevator

rest @ parish

level str to 11 and int to 21

attune great heavy soul arrow

use drake sword blast to open logan door

open cage and talk to logan

unequip drake sword at fog door

equip bellowing over fap ring(more like r.i.p. ring lmao) at other fog door

unequip wanderer chest @ iron golem fog door

noscope iron golem foot 2 gh soul arrows to knock off

level att 12 and int 32

use iron golem soul on elevator

rafters yay

archers yay

parry punch the one in the way off

take bonfire and level int to 36

rtsr setup

great soul arrow ornstein

great heavy soul arrow smough (it's because he's fat isn't it)

finish him off with great soul arrow

use soul on elevator

noscope amazing chest then warp to firelink

buy soul spear from logan

place lordvessel solo

level att to 15 and attune soul spear

warp to parish

2 soul spears and andre's dead

savequit, then rest at garden bonfire

open big door then go to buttfly

equip wanderer set

blast it with soul spear

dorksign out

level att to 16

rtsr from forest goons or some other speedrunner magic idk

prepare to cry and not grab the hornet ring

soul spear the dog til he ded, if you miss use great scrub arrow

dorksign out

buy soul spear from griggs

bone back and attune double soul spear

more rtsr magic shit

go to hydra via kitty lane

three soul spears for both hydra and gold crystal golem

use last two soul spears for golems

buy hidden body and maybe ivory catalyst

"come on, fuck, stop talking bitch" - santzo 2013

warp to anor londo

attune hidden body over great heavy soul arrow

use hidden body to sneak past and get broken pendant

soul spears for golems

die twice in dukes lmao

duke juke is way cooler than duke skip

soul spear seath

bone back to garden

level int to 42

dlc time

grab dusk set

no bonfire yolo (take it if you're a scrub)

equip dusk crown @ fog door

soul spears on guardian, 2 SHOULD stagger

run to fartorias

soul spears yay

hidden body to get through township

noscope the mimic for crest key

use artorias soul on elevator dunno which one

level int to 50

grab dork bread

rtsr setup with dusk crown ring

soul spear manus

yell something finnish at pet for maximum speed #santzostratz

warp to township

level up end and vit and also attune dork bread maybe

go to kalameet and dorksign on the rock

talk to andre the giant (gough)

dorksign out

kalameet time for real now, rtsr setup with dusk crown and fall damage or something

level vit and end to something

lower undead burg jump

dork bread kappa demon

save quit

do the fast depths route

no rtsr for gaping dragon

2 shots of dork bread then dorksign

equip artorias ring over bellowing

do that one little drop to get to four kings

two soul spears from afar then dork bread up close

dorksign out

go to stray demon and reequip bellowing i think

grab peculiar doll

pinwheel time

normal tomb stuff

aihel strats on nito

reset

bone back

use boss souls on elevator

blighttown drop again

last bost soul on water wheel

take demon ruins bonfire

rtsr for ceaseless with dusk crown

2 dark beads then dorksign

rtsr for firesage

more beads for firesage

more beads for centipede

equip orange ring over bellowing ring and all armor

level end

usual bed of chaos strat

rtsr for gwyndolin

one dork bread

go to painted world, use hidden body along the way

use hidden body in painted world

do the undead dragon skip

hidden body on the bridge

one dark bead for priscilla

bone back after exiting painted world

warp to firelink

gwyn rtsr with sword knight

dark bead gwyn