Intro, Background and Some Important Info



Hi! We’re reaching out to all of you through my partner’s Facebook profile, but my name is Sophie. Before I can really jump into the details of the GoFundMe, why we’re making it, what its for, I need to disclose some very personal, but pertinent, information. Much of what I’m going to go through will likely be a bit of a surprise for some of the folks that come across it (especially those people I know through work or the cosplay community, or have met in the past few years). This reason alone has made me very hesitant to start this GoFundMe, and really sort of eats away at me even now as I type this. This is not a typical, straightforward case of needing funding for SRS, and I would really, really appreciate your time in reading through this. I’m in an urgent medical bind and have really hit a wall.





The aforementioned information, without trying to skirt around anything, is that I’m transgender. For the past 6 years or so I have been living as female, legally, socially and in every way possible as that is how I have always felt most comfortable, and how I truly do feel inside. I have never really identified myself as transgender, something that I know is a priveledge that many other trans folks may not have the luxury of doing. I had a relatively smooth and effective transition process, moved to a new area, got a job in a new state and was able to live a life relatively free of labeling myself as anything but what I felt I was. I have effectively known I was trans, or that something was unsettled or not right since I was around 11. It's been a very long journey, plagued by my own lack of knowledge on the subject initially in coming from such a small town, as well as social fear of coming out because of how I grew up, but in the end everything, up until now, really was panning out ok. I was making do, employed, in a stable, loving relationship and living as near to the life I wanted to live as I could.



Taking this information into account, when faced with the chaos that has come to the table, it is very awkward and difficult for me to lay myself out for the world to see. I do need help (and that alone is very difficult for me to accept), but in my mind I’m struggling with the fact that in doing so I will effectively be “outing” myself as trans to the various communities I’ve been involved in as a woman. In an ideal world, this wouldn’t be an issue, but as we all well know, we are not in an ideal world. I know this action will cause some issues for me without doubt. Some people may feel slighted, some (or even all) will likely perceive me differently. There will be gossip, people will talk about it, I’ll be sure to get some backlash here and there. Despite this, I know I have such a large support network of people out there in my life that will support me and will accept me (or already have) and that really means so much to me. I never explicitly hid the fact that I was trans, I never sought to lie to anyone or deceive them, only to live my life as near to “normal” as I could, as the gender I was comfortable as, and I hope this is realized by anyone that does take any issue to this overall.



The Big Issue



Now that we have gotten past that, we can address the issue at hand that has led me to this point, and necessitated this GoFundMe campaign. It's a complex, heck of a mess that really required the stars to align in just the wrong way. First and foremost, the surgery required goes by a fair number of names and acronyms SRS, GRS, GCS, etc. etc. Regardless of the name, this surgery effectively is a “gender confirming surgery” involving the, without a better word, rearrangement of the genitals and surrounding area to better suit the preferred or desired gender. Regardless of the other circumstances, which are very pressing in my case, SRS is considered a medically necessary operation in many cases for trans patients, especially in the case of those who are socially and medically transitioned for the length of time I have been.





To add to this necessity, I have been diagnosed with a brain tumor, specifically a pituitary microadenoma. While this is not cancerous it is what they refer to as an “active tumor” and it is wreaking havoc across many of my bodies systems. The pituitary gland is often regarded as the control center of the body, regulating things from hormones to your adrenal system, and several other integral body functions past that. Now where things get funky, and why this surgery has become an urgent and even more necessary path for me, is that my tumor is a special case, one that has not been seen before, to the point where my doctor will be publishing it as a medical journal. My tumor is doing two things that make it a real mystery, and a real issue. It is not producing an excess of prolactin, something that all pituitary tumors typically do, and would result in a medication prescribed to treat it. Instead, my tumor has severely (severely is an understatement here) spiked my testosterone levels, and has also created very high fluctuations in my estrogen levels as well.





Because this has not been seen before, and the best LGBT clinics in the NYC area, and specialty endocrinologists are at a loss for what to do, I am left with few options. They, at the moment, will not remove my tumor. It presents far too big of a risk to my brain to remove without it being cancerous or immediately life threatening. They can also not treat it with a medication as it is behaving in a way they do not have a medication developed to treat. The one thing that each of my doctors have agreed on is that my next step I need to take is the removal of the source of testosterone to avoid further issues. In order to remove the source of testosterone, I effectively need to remove the testes and proceed through SRS. An orchiectomy is another surgery that could be done, removing the testes only, however this surgery would effectively leave me with a diminished quality of life as it negatively affects the SRS results, functionally and cosmetically. This, after many years of research and thought, has left me certain that it is not a step I want to take, as it is something I would have to live with for the rest of my life.



Urgency



Because of this special case involving my brain tumor, I need to undergo this surgery as soon as I can. Each day that passes is another day of testosterone far greater than what is considered a healthy maximum for an adult male. This leads to countless issues for me as a transgender woman, wreaking havoc on my body and each day chipping away at the progress 6 years of hormone replacement therapy has done for me, and moving me further and further into a masculine state. On top of those changes, which on their own are incredibly bothersome, I have two major heart issues that will eventually be affected by these testosterone levels as my heart muscle continues to grow in size. Add on top of this the mental and emotional symptoms of having elevated testosterone and estrogen, couple with that the painful and overwhelming side effects of the pituitary tumor and you might guess that my life is not a very pleasant one at the moment.



Why am I turning to GoFundMe?



Despite that, this surgery could turn a huge amount of that around. Not only would it be helping me achieve some solace in a traditional transgender aspect, it will also relieve me of this elevated testosterone and the symptoms that come along with it. I really do not like having to reach out for help, or to take advantage of the kindness of the people in my life, however at this point I’m left with no other options. Because of student loans and other medical bills, either for me or my partner, I’m unable to get any sort of loan. My family will be able to contribute some, but unfortunately nowhere near the amount required to make this happen. My parents are small business owners and are doing their best to keep the family business up and running, and are currently still helping my sister through college with my youngest sister just getting ready to enter college herself. I have no collateral to place for a secured loan, I haven’t worked long enough at my age to have enough to pull from a 401k or retirement account, I don’t own anything to my name I can sell that would net even a small percentage of what I need and I’m working full time, in addition to working on commissions and freelance work on the side to afford the debt and costs in my life currently. If I had another option short of winning the lottery I’d take it before having to do this, it’s not in my nature to ask for this kind of help, and I will forever feel indebted to each and every one of you for merely taking the time to read this page.



Your donations, sharing of this link, kind words, anything, will be so, so very appreciated. It's not often I’m brought to my wits end, but I’m here now. I’m overloaded and, despite my difficulty in doing so, am reaching out for help. If there was some way I could pay each and every one of you back once this was all said and done I would, and if I know you personally you can count on me likely trying to.



The Costs



In order to secure my date for my surgery I need about $3700 USD. That is a 20% deposit on the surgery and will hold the date and allow me to begin making other plans like booking flights, etc. The total cost of the surgery overall is about $18,700 USD, plus around $2000 in accommodations, travel and miscellaneous costs or food. If this GoFundMe can get us at least part of the way there, I will slowly find ways to fill in the gaps, but as it is now I cannot get anywhere near this amount on my own, especially in the time I have.

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