Dear dad-to-be,

Congratulations! You’re about to enter one of the most exciting and terrifying journeys of your life. As such, it’s important to develop a birth plan so that you’re prepared to welcome your precious bundle. Birth plans come in all shapes and sizes and should include lots of discussion and communication with your partner.

A “complete” plan starts with serious discussions. Epidural or natural birth? Do you decorate a baby nursery in advance … or not, because you’re superstitious? How much paternity leave or vacation time can you take? Should a relative move in for a few weeks to assist or should you hire a baby nurse? What pediatrician will you use? What baby photos, if any, get shared on social media?

Then there’s logistics. What goes in the hospital bag and is it packed? Is a base of the car seat installed in your car? Who is on your list of people to notify when the baby arrives? Which family members get the coveted “golden ticket” to visit in the hospital?

The list goes on.

So understand that no matter how well prepared or meticulous you are, SOMETHING will not go according to plan. That’s okay. It happens to everyone, including me. Trust your gut and your partner, and you’ll get through it — together.

In fact, use the arrival of my new baby as a good case study on how to fail at planning.

My wife called me at home. Our baby was due in a month, but since my wife rarely calls from work, I felt nervous. “I don’t want to alarm you,” she said in an unsteady voice, “but I think my water broke.”

Sirens! Sirens rang out in my head.

My laundry list of failures flashed through my mind: We didn’t have a bag packed for the hospital, the car seat was still in the box, the construction to build the nursery in our apartment was slated to start tomorrow, and I never cracked a page in the parenting books stacked on my desk. If there were an expectant-dad exam, I’d have failed miserably. Perhaps this shocking realization catapulted me into conveying the calm demeanor my wife needed upon learning our baby would be born that day — a month earlier than expected.

I told my wife to rush home and hung up. I quickly lined up a babysitter to watch our six-year-old, as our original plan of having Grandma on speed dial was out the window since she was still “snowbirding” in Florida for two more weeks. I called my wife back, packed her hospital bag as swiftly as possible while taking directions, like which lotions and sweatpants she preferred.

After checking in at the hospital and going through a series of exams, we learned my wife would need an emergency C-section. Our daughter would be arriving shortly.

At this moment, life froze. This is where I felt like an athlete in the zone during the final minutes of the game. Mr. Clutch. I took my wife’s hand and said, “Even though we’re completely unprepared to have this baby today, we’re absolutely ready to provide the love and care this baby needs, and we have each other to go through it together.”

Before long, I was in the delivery room by my wife’s side every step of the way: stroking her shoulders, kissing her cheek, and rambling confidently to distract her during the delivery about how much I loved her…and that we were going to be wonderful parents.

Then something magical happened. I clutched my daughter in my arms for the very first time. Nothing else mattered. Baby was healthy. My wife was ecstatic. Everything else was the small stuff and it would all work out in the end.

This magical day happened just seven weeks ago and, despite my sleep deprivation, the memories are etched vividly in my mind. Even though we weren’t well prepared for welcoming our daughter that day, it all worked out. We followed our parental instincts and survived.

So get some rest while you still can. Get that hospital bag packed. Study up on happy, healthy sleep habits for your baby and Dr. Harvey Karp’s “5 S Method” for soothing a baby. Attend a “New-Dad Boot Camp” workshop. Go out on lots of date nights with your partner while you can.

It’s likely there will be some unforeseen bumps in the road when your baby arrives. However, you will always have each other. That’s the secret recipe to your success in getting through it.

Sincerely,

Lance Somerfeld, an expectant dad who failed to plan properly for the arrival of his baby