Lilly: "Hello?"



Hisao: "Hey Lilly."



Lilly: "Oh Hisao. How nice of you to call!"



Hisao: "Yeah. It's nice to talk."



Lilly: "How's your summer been?"



Hisao: "Nice. Hanako took me on a trip with her."



Lilly: "Oh really? To Kyoto right?"



Hisao: "Yeah. Wish you could be with us."



Lilly: "Yeah. Unfortunately I'm unable to be there. But it's nice to see family."



Hisao: "Speaking of which....Hanako said you're moving or something..."



Lilly: "...Well...yes...I might not come back."



Hisao: "Really? Why not."



Lilly: "I....I wanted to be with my family. I just need to reconnect."



Hisao: "Well why didn't you tell me?"



Lilly: "I..I honestly thought I did."



Hisao: "I thought we were friends. I mean I don't feel like your friend when you can't even member me."



Lilly: "Of course I remember you!"



Hisao: "Well why didn't you tell me?"



Lilly: "I didn't know how to tell you."



Hisao: "So you expected me to just find out when you stopped showing up."



Lilly: "No....I just wasn't sure how to say it."



Hisao: "You told Hanako. If you have a problem with me, just say it."



Lilly: "I..I didn't want to break it to you. I didn't want to see you sad."



Hisao: "Oh please. Really? You could tell your best friend Hanako, but you couldn't tell me? All you had to do is say it."



Lilly: "I wanted to...but I kept putting it off until it was too late. I didn't want you to be upset."



Hisao: "And you just flying to another country and expecting me to find out you weren't coming back isn't going to upset me?"



Lilly: "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean for you to find out this way."



Hisao: "How am I supposed to believe that?"



Lilly: "What?"



Hisao: "How am I supposed to believe that you didn't want me to find out this way. Hanako seemed to want to keep it a secret. She was reluctant to tell me."



Lilly: "I-I can't..believe this! Are you honestly accusing me of covering it up?"



Hisao: "How can I trust you? This isn't something that can just leave your mind and forget about. If it was, then you wouldn't care enough to avoid upsetting me. You were trying to hide this from me! You didn't even ask me to carry you're luggage."



Lilly: "Hisao! You're my friend! I can't believe you feel this way! I didn't get you to move luggage because of your heart problem-"



Hisao: "What else am I supposed to think? How can I trust someone who will just get up and leave whenever she wants. How can I trust someone who will leave my life without even saying a word? You could at least tell me why your leaving. One minute we're having lunch together, and that's the last time I'll see you. I mean did I ever mean anything to you if you just go away and leave me behind? Did I mean anything in the first place? It doesn't make any sense! How could you call yourself a friend?! One minute you're visiting me in the hospital, and then you stop coming?! And then you don't say a word until a few months later when I can't even see you?! Is that what you were planning?! I can't ever love someone like that!"



Lilly: "H-Hisao?"



Whoops. This is why I shouldn't talk to people. Ms. Yumi would be overjoyed by my Freudian slip. What exactly did I mean when I said that? What was Lilly to me? A friend...or something else. There were times where I thought about Lilly in special ways...but I always dismissed them as intrusive thoughts of a perverted teenage mind. Did I make her something else to me? A replacement? I'm no expert, but I think this is what people mean by projecting onto others. Maybe this is why I was so upset. There's a long silence over the phone.



Hisao: "Um...I...."



Lilly: "What id you mean by the last part."



Hisao: "There was this girl....she was my girlfriend.....and she drifted away-"



The line ends. I put my phone away and think about how hard I'll be regretting my decision to call Lilly. Talk about taking a turn for the worst. What was going through her mind when she heard what I said? Was she angry or sad? She was definitely shocked and overwhelmed. Fuck. I bet she's glad she moved away to Scotland, now she's away from me. Should I even apologize? Would she even pick up the phone? Combined with the costs of long distance calls, it's not worth it.



......



Today we are going back to Yamaku. Fortunately, the train ride doesn't start that early. Naomi and Hanako wake up and change. Because I'm the "boy" I have to leave the room. I suggested showering while they change, but Naomi said they didn't trust me naked in another room. I guess I'll shower back at Yamaku. I step out of the room into the hall. I wonder what I'll do for the rest of the break. I guess there's still Hanako. We can read...study together. Lilly won't be there though, but still we could do something. Hopefully her absence won't affect me and Hanako's time together. We can graduate together at least.



We board the train impatiently waiting for our seats. We sit down and wait for the train to ride back. Once again, Hanako reads, Naomi sketches, and this time I look out the window. At first I think about our trip. The golden Pavilion, Manga museum, eating with Hanako. Pretty nice trip, though the revelation of Lilly not coming back was a little stressful. And that transitions me to Lilly. Man, it's crazy how bad things turned in that phone call. Part of me wonders what I really felt about Lilly. Why did I get so mad?



I try to read a book, but my mind keeps wondering. My mind can't comprehend how Yamaku will be without Lilly. It occurs to me that she won't be there to graduate. It's hard to imagine. Yamaku just won;t be the same. I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Hanako tugging at my sleeve. It's lunch time, and carts of food are being pushed through the aisles.



Hanako: "W-want something?"



Hisao: "I'll just have a soda and a sandwich."



We get our food and give some money. Naomi and Hanako both get some soup. Finally they put down their books....for food.



Hisao: "Food isn't bad."



Hanako: "This soups p-pretty good."



Naomi: "Yeah. at least it's not Yamaku food."



Hisao: "Oh god it's gonna be a rough transition."



Naomi: "Yeah. Going from being in Kyoto back the school on top of a hill."



Hisao: "It's not going to be the same..."



Naomi: "Why do you say that?"



Hisao: "Our friend Lilly moved."



Naomi: "Satou? She moved?"



Hisao: "Yeah."



Naomi: "Oh...well there's me...."



Her comment doesn't spark a reaction to me or Hanako.



Naomi: "Well don't feel so bad....you can call her."



Hanako: "Sh-she's long distance...."



Naomi: "Oh...that's actually not a problem."



Hisao: "Why not?"



Naomi: "Social Media....Just tell her to make an account on the same website. Most sites have a chat function."



Hisao: "Really...interesting..."



Naomi: "You can add family members too. Pretty much anyone."



Hanako: "I-including you..."



Naomi: "As long as we both have an account, we can stay in touch! Just choose a popular site because more people will have accounts."



.....



We arrived at Yamaku around the evening. I showered and unpacked. By the time I was finished, it was around 6pm. I was hungry and bored. I decided to find Hanako for dinner. We decided to go to Shang Hai, it's nostalgic after all. We walk there without a word, though with Hanako, that doesn't mean much. We arrive and Yuuko treats us to a table.



Yuuko: "Hey, did you guys go on vacation?"



Hisao: "Yeah. Kyoto."



Yuuko: "Did you see the Manga Museum?"



Hisao: "Yeah. There was so much content."



Yuuko takes our order. We are unsurprisingly silent, though it's different this time. This silence feels like the type at a funeral. Hanako seems melancholic. Not sad, just robbed of joy.



Hisao: "Are you thinking about her?"



Hanako: "Yeah..."



Hisao: "Maybe we could use that social media Naomi was talking about."



Hanako: "That would b-be good. W-what site?"



Hisao: "Don't know yet..."



Hanako: "a-are you mad at her?"



Hisao: "...not really."



Hanako: "W-we went here for the f-first time two y-years ago."



Hisao: "Really?"



Hanako: "Sh-she was with Akira...."



Hisao: "What did you think about her?"



Hanako: "S-she was really n-nice. S-she became a good friend... "



Yuuko interrupts our reflection with food. We finish rather quickly and Yuuko gives us our check.



Hisao: "Hey Yuuko...is this place hiring?"



Yuuko: "Oh yes...we have a dish washer position open."



Hisao: "Can I get an application?"



Hanako: "You w-want a j-job?"



Hisao: "Yeah....some spending money you know. For tomorrow."



Hanako: "Tomorrow?"



Hisao: "Yeah. It's summer. Nothing else to do except go to the city and buy stuff."