Here I am getting ready to play some high-end video games, probably StarCraft or Counter-Strike or Age of Empires II, with some nachos and an Ice Cold Coca-Cola® by my side for sustenance and— OHGODWAIT all 16 ounces of high-fructosey goodness® just tipped over and started pouring onto my totally boring beige gaming PC. I put my entire summer savings into this thing!

There's smoke everywhere. The incredible power of my graphics card is frying up the 52 grams of sugar I'd intended to drain into my own personal bloodstream. I don't know what I'm gonna do... unless... wait what's happening!?

Wow! The 190 grams of caloric power in my Ice Cold Coca-Cola® has transformed my lame computer into a super-slick gaming machine. It's painted red, for speed. It says "#COKEESPORTS" on it, for gaming. And of course all of the drink's sweet sugary liquid is still there and cooling off this wild machine's hot processor the same way it was going to cool off me.

Better yet, the computer doesn't even have a complete case. It's still totally open on the side like it originally was, which is maybe how I managed to spill an entire bottle of Ice Cold Coca-Cola® into it. Don't wake me up from this fever dream. Don't tell me I'm just inhaling the smoky mixture of sugar and silicon that's been fuming out of my PC's power supply since I spilled this bottle 15 minutes ago. This is the best gaming experience of my life.

Now, it's time to beat Half-Life 3.