Don’t worry folks. Despite what the ICIG stated about the whistleblower having a connection to a Democratic candidate running in 2020, his or her attorney Mark Zaid wants to reassure everyone his client has been mischaracterized.

1/WHISTLEBLOWER NEWS ALERT THREAD ON ALLEGED "BIAS": In light of the ongoing efforts to mischaracterize whistleblower #1's alleged "bias" in order to detract from the substance of the complaint, we will attempt to clarify some facts. — Mark S. Zaid (@MarkSZaidEsq) October 9, 2019

He called this a ‘news alert’ and used all caps.

That’s adorbs.

And by adorbs we mean embarrassing, desperate, and pretty damn pathetic.

Also, does this mean he’s accusing the ICIG of lying?

2/First, our client has never worked for or advised a political candidate, campaign, or party. — Mark S. Zaid (@MarkSZaidEsq) October 9, 2019

Pay attention to how carefully Zaid is choosing his words here. Just because the whistleblower didn’t work for or advise a candidate, campaign, or party that doesn’t mean they don’t have a connection like the ICIG claimed.

3/Second, our client has spent their entire government career in apolitical, civil servant positions in the Executive Branch. — Mark S. Zaid (@MarkSZaidEsq) October 9, 2019

In other words, they’ve spent their lives working in government.

Civil servant is a nice touch.

4/Third, in these positions our client has come into contact with presidential candidates from both parties in their roles as elected officials—not as candidates. — Mark S. Zaid (@MarkSZaidEsq) October 9, 2019

Come into contact with. Sure.

5/Fourth, the whistleblower voluntarily provided relevant career information to the IC IG in order to facilitate an assessment of the credibility of the complaint. — Mark S. Zaid (@MarkSZaidEsq) October 9, 2019

Wow, they were honest … gosh, let’s get ’em a gold medal or something.

6/Fifth, as a result, the IC IG concluded—as is well known—that the complaint was both urgent and credible. — Mark S. Zaid (@MarkSZaidEsq) October 9, 2019

Huh?

How did Zaid get from there to here?

END/Finally, the whistleblower is not the story. To date, virtually every substantive allegation has been confirmed by other sources. For that reason the identity of the whistleblower is irrelevant. — Mark S. Zaid (@MarkSZaidEsq) October 9, 2019

The whistleblower is absolutely the story, which is probably why Zaid is working so hard to claim otherwise.

Oh, so a government flunkie for hire. Totally better than bias. https://t.co/mzegPmt31o — Dan ?? (@danieltobin) October 10, 2019

Right? Just a simple, civil servant who ONLY wants to do what’s best for his or her country.

Oh, ouch, our sides.

Except for the ICIG stating clearly, and in no uncertain terms, that he did, in fact, have a political bias. https://t.co/rP4pf0S6Ni — Ordy's Amish Doom Buggy (@OrdyPackard) October 10, 2019

Nice try, Mark.

JFC! I feel like Andy Dufresne after crawling through five-hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine after reading this buffoon's thread. https://t.co/EJTV8qjhSQ — G (@TCC_Grouchy) October 10, 2019

It stinks to high Heaven, right?

Related:

‘You guys OK?’ Sleeping Giants HILARIOUSLY owned by RedSteeze in heated back and forth about ‘MUH Fox News’

No WONDER Dems wanna hide ’em! ANOTHER ‘blow’ to the whistleblower’s credibility comes out (this one’s BIG)

NOT a good look, Dip-Schiff: Check out how BAD Adam Schiff’s actions look when put side-by-side with Trump on Ukraine (ha!)