When Amazon announced it was on the hunt for a city to host its second headquarters in a deal that could be worth 50,000 jobs and a $5 billion regional investment, dozens of major U.S. cities immediately expressed their interest, spurring a bidding war that at times has bordered on the absurd. At present, the company has reportedly received more than 200 proposals from 54 states, provinces, districts, and territories in the U.S., Mexico, and Canada.

From the outset, Jeff Bezos made it known that Amazon, which is worth nearly $500 billion, has several criteria for what it’s calling H.Q.2: a North American city with a population of at least 1 million, “a stable and business-friendly environment,” and access to enough talent. Some of these locales will stop at nothing to prove they're the right fit for Bezos's growing empire—no public display of degradation is too humiliating, and no act of courtship is off the table. Here, we examine the depths of late capitalism a handful of U.S. and Canadian cities have plumbed in an effort to woo Amazon.

New York City

A series of landmarks across the city—including One World Trade Center, the Empire State Building, 4 Times Square, the Bloomberg Tower, some bridges, and a handful of billboards and LinkNYC wireless Internet screens—all turned “Amazon Orange” for a whole 15 minutes on the evening of October 18. The city asked New Yorkers to share photos of the light-up display using the hashtag #HQ2NYC.

Kansas City, Missouri

Kansas City mayor Sly James—or, more accurately, some young staffer or intern in his office—bought and then reviewed 1,000 Amazon products for charities in the city, giving each a five-star rating. Every review has since been aggregated on James’s Web site; here’s what he had to say about some wind chimes:

“When it comes to my house and my housewares, there's nothing I value more than bang for my buck. I live in beautiful Kansas City where the average home price is just $122K, so I know luxe living doesn't have to cost a ton. That's why at $14.99, these wind chimes are music to my ears. They have a soothing timbre, a stylish look, a durable aluminum construction, and they catch the wind just as beautifully as far more expensive models. I'll tell you, when I'm sitting out in the backyard of my reasonably priced home in a safe neighborhood with great schools and these chimes start to tinkle, it feels like the whole world is singing just for me.”