JEREMY Hunt is bitterly jealous of the cyber attackers who brought the NHS to its knees.

The health secretary has worked tirelessly for four years to try to eradicate the NHS, using methods such as cuts, mathematically impossible promises to the public and the alienation of an entire generation of junior doctors.

However, the computer virus, which hit the operating systems of several NHS trusts, was able to bring Hunt’s vision to life in less than an hour as ill people were turned away from hospitals.

An insider revealed: “At first Jeremy was delighted but then realised he was being shown up by some anonymous hackers. He actually kicked a bin at one point.”

Conservative MPs now want to use hacking as a simple way to to unravel comprehensive education, reliable public transport and foreign aid.

A spokesman said: “It’s more ‘state of the art’ than just cutting budgets.”