UPDATE: October 6, 2015



McDonald's officially started serving all-day breakfast today. Dinnertime Egg McMuffins for everyone!



ORIGINAL POST: March 31, 2015

McDonald's has had a rough go of it as of late. Chipotle continues to surge past the golden arches (a former investor) in terms of percent growth by same-store sales. Earlier this month, the corporation's attempt to engage "influential youths" at South by Southwest was widely viewed as a misfire after the indie band Ex Cops revealed that they had been asked to perform at the company's pop-up brand experience in exchange for "exposure" rather than money.

But this morning's news that McDonald's will begin testing an all-day breakfast menu at its San Diego locations brought a glimmer of hope to the troubled brand. As the AP notes, the company's stock rose 90 cents to $97.86 in afternoon trading.

Here, to mark the wondrous possibility that we may soon be able to enjoy McDonald's breakfast menu after the 10:30 a.m. threshold, our friends at Esquire took a look at the entire McDonald's breakfast menu—and then ranked it from worst (yogurt, SMH) to best. Coffee and juice excluded.

24. Fruit 'N Yogurt Parfait

I mean, who are you kidding?

23. Sausage Biscuit

Plain Jane.

22. Southern Style Chicken Biscuit

No cheese? No egg? No hyphen between "southern" and "style"?

21. Fruit & Maple Oatmeal

Good luck with that.

20. Sausage McGriddles

Alright, this train is inching its way toward Flavortown.

19. Sausage Burrito

Have you ever seen or met anyone who has ordered this?

18. Sausage McMuffin

Needs egg.

17. Steak, Egg & Cheese Bagel

Why would you ever order a bagel at McDonald's?

16. Bacon, Egg & Cheese Bagel

See above.

15. Hotcakes

You are not 97-years-old and wearing a styrofoam hat while holding court in the corner booth. Yet.

14. Hotcakes and Sausage

There ya go.

13. Egg White Delight McMuffin

You will order this exactly once and then never again.

12. Big Breakfast

Everything on this plate looks more or less the same.

11. Bacon, Egg & Cheese Biscuit

Now we're getting somewhere.

10. Sausage Biscuit with Egg

Any hour, any day.

9. Sausage, Egg & Cheese McGriddles

It chooses you.

8. Big Breakfast with Hotcakes

So classy. So decadent.

7. Bacon, Egg & Cheese McGriddles

The holy trinity of sugar, fat and salt.

6. Steak, Egg & Cheese Biscuit

You come at the king you best not miss.

5. Hash Browns

Hash rules everything around me.

4. Steak, Egg & Cheese McMuffin

It takes a certain kind of man to harpoon this sodium octopus.

3. Cinnamon Melts

Didn't this used to be a bun?

2. Egg McMuffin

Your best friend. A shoulder to cry on.

1. Sausage McMuffin with Egg

The ultimate breakfast sandwich. Nothing that McDonald's has ever done or will ever do can top this level of perfection. An airport standby. A roadside companion. A hangover cure. You never want it to end. You scrape the remnant cheese off the wrapper before throwing it away. You are the only two beings on earth for that first bite. In that moment, you are infinite.

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