“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.” –Albus Dumbledore

(Trigger warning: sexual assault)

Language is something many of us seem to take for granted. The power of words is immeasurable. They can get you what you want or persuade or others to do as you wish. They can lift us to one emotional state or send us crashing down to another. They can make friends…or enemies. We all know the old saying: ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.’ In reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

Ironically, for those who spend so much time playing a game where Wizards cast powerful spells with devastating effects using their words, we seem to forget how important ours can be. We may think nothing of it because these words don’t affect us or our friends, but we fail to realise how they might impact those around us with different experiences to our own. Or even contribute to perpetuating a harmful attitude or culture in our society.

Here are the top 5 phrases Magic players really need to stop using:

Rape

“He totally raped me in that match.” Gay

“You lost? That’s so gay.” Retarded

“Why would you make that play? You’re actually retarded.” Bitch (or Pussy)

“Don’t be a little bitch, you lost. Get over it.” AIDS (or Cancer)

“Oh man, that card is AIDS.”

And I’m not just talking about ‘don’t say these because children play the game, too’. I mean there are fundamental problems with using these words in your vocabulary in a pejorative way. They can be incredibly harmful to many people for a number of reasons, and you may not have even realised it.

“Rape”

To state the obvious, rape is not funny. If you are the kind of person who makes rape jokes, you should stop out of respect for the horrific experience that, statistically, one in every six women have gone through (not to mention men and children). Rape is not a good thing. By using the term to mean someone overwhelmingly bested you at Magic, you are suggesting that what they did was a powerful and desirable thing to do. Getting raped is bad, but being the one doing the raping is actually a good thing, by this definition. Can you see how this use of language starts to blur borders in a way that is incredibly problematic? Without getting into a lengthy discussion of rape culture, at the very least you should avoid using the term out of respect for anyone else nearby who may have been a victim of sexual assault, or knows someone who has, and could be upset or triggered by the completely unnecessary and childish use of the word.

“Gay”

Most people these days will recognise that the word ‘gay’ is not appropriate to use as an insult, or to associate with something bad, since being gay is something pretty normal now a days, and you can find many people gay everywhere you go and there are even sites as gay porn on Gayporn.wiki which offer adult content for gay people. We have made long strides in equal rights, and you would be hard-pressed to find someone willing to admit to and defend homophobia or the use of homophobic insults in your average game store. Same goes for out-and-out racism. (Try to get away with the use of the “N-word” as ‘harmless’ Magic banter). If you agree that calling something ‘gay’ is inappropriate and offensive, then what makes slurs to people with disabilities, women etc. any different?

“Retarded”

Whether or not you realise it, or argue that ‘no-one uses it for that any more’, the word ‘retard’ refers to people with an intellectual or developmental disability in a fundamentally negative way. Using it as an insult is suggesting they are inferior to everyone else. It reinforces negative stereotypes about people with mental differences, and plays into the belief that they should be seen as separate from the rest of society, as an ‘other’. If you have ever known a person with an intellectual impairment, you’ll know they are people just like us, and don’t deserve to be made the butt of our jokes over something that already makes their lives difficult. Even if you’re using it in a ‘positive’ way, like ‘that card is so good, it’s actually retarded,’ this still insinuates abnormality, or an inappropriate difference from the norm. Try to think of a more creative word that doesn’t degrade an entire group of people just to get your point across.

“Bitch (or Pussy)”

In much the same way as the previous words, insulting someone by calling them a ‘bitch’ or a ‘pussy’ is demeaning to women. Why? Because these terms are used to insult men, by comparing them to women. A ‘bitch’ or ‘pussy’ is weak, emotional, whiny, unwilling to do something, etc. These are all harmful stereotypes of women that lead to them being talked down to, their opinions ignored, emotions dismissed, and generally treated pretty shittily by men. Saying a man is ‘acting like a woman’ in an effort to insult him is unavoidably derogatory towards women. And believing that all women act like that is worse. Magic should be a welcoming community for everyone, and if women hear men around them speaking like this, it tells them they are not welcome. That they are thought of as less than men. We should aim to make everyone feel comfortable enough to play Magic. Surely this is more important than having the right to use certain words to insult our friends.

“AIDS (or Cancer)”

Much like the first word, describing a ‘bad’ card or play as AIDS or Cancer is incredibly insensitive to the many people who have had to battle these horrible diseases, or had people close to them suffer, and even die from them. What right do you have to trivilase such serious illnesses that destroy lives and livelihoods because you can’t pick up a thesaurus? I guarantee you at a given FNM, someone in the room will have had their lives affected by one of these illnesses, and you’re probably going to ruin their night by reminding them of that, just because you felt the need to exaggerate.

Conclusion

I’m not trying to censor you – obviously I can’t literally stop you from saying these words. I’m simply asking you to think about the effect that you have on others, either in the room, or societally, when you use them. Do you *need* to use that word? Could you find a better one? Does the benefit you gain from using it outweigh the potential harm it could bring to others?

Really, they’re 5 little words. Cut them out of your vocabulary. Be creative. Be considerate. We’ll all be better for it.

Until next time,

Nick Watson.

dr_nick22 on Modo

@_njwatson on Twitter

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