Mtn Dew Merry Mash-Up must be doing something right. For a seasonal flavor, it’s never a guarantee that the Dew front office folks will bring it back for another run. Given the amount of feedback and pictures we’ve received, it seems like the Cranberry/Pomegranate flavor was a critical hit, and our editor seemed to enjoy it as well. As Merry Mash-Up gets renewed for another season, it seems important to push that envelope just a little further. Why settle for two flavors anyway? We’ve had a lot of success this year when that number is juuuuust a little bigger…

Liberty Brew won my heart this summer and is now my personal favorite Dew of all time. The supposed “50 flavors” made it a nationwide talking point, and awaiting its delivery to my area was an exercise in both futility and an eventual triumph of the human spirit. But how tightly balanced was this half-a-hundred of soda pop flavoring? What would happen if we slide two more flavors across its profile. Would we get a brand new flavor? Would the world implode on itself? (Editor’s note: we don’t think that happened). We wouldn’t recommend trying this at home, as only the TehBen labs’ sophisticated equipment should be used for such a venture. This experiment is for the greater good, and I’m happy to have you along for the ride.

The half and half blend of the two Dews wasn’t going to be a surprise on color. Looking back to my meticulous notes from Kindergarten art class, “red+blue=purple.” What was surprising was the particular shade. In the light the shade is a little more purple but in a general setting it’s hard to ignore how much it looks like Mtn Dew Pitch Black….which apparently was never the same shade to begin with. Maybe it’s another mind trick based on appearance, but the taste has a bit of grape to it as well. Apparently 52 flavors is approaching critical mass, as the drink seems to be a bit unstable on the tongue. It’s a bit of a rush to feel like you’re playing with fire, or like driving a street car too fast for its intended design. There’s a distinct sweetness left on the tongue after drinking that I needed to chase away with water, but overall it went down pretty easy. I can’t help but think this is wrong though…a distinctly “naughty” undertaking, if you will. These two sodas weren’t meant to be together but somehow their rough copulation on my tongue seems to work for them. Honestly my mouth shouldn’t be the playground for this soda themed erotica, and whatever this mixture should be called can’t be the responsibility of myself alone.

I’m going to put this challenge out to the world. I want to know the name for this purple cocktail, and maybe a brief story on how they came to meet. I’m even putting out a $25 Amazon gift card bounty on this. Submit your best soda themed forbidden romance short story (couple of paragraphs is fine) on how Merry Mash-Up and Liberty Brew came to be. Send submissions to tehbenemail@gmail.com with a suggested drink name and we’ll feature your stories in our next soda blog post.

No purchase necessary. 18+ years old for submission please and anything that’s deemed outside of reasonable taste (you’ve read the Smut Vault, that’s a pretty tall order) will be disqualified. This is all in good fun. Let’s take care of business, we don’t want to keep PepsiCo waiting a moment too long. Deadline 12/31.

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