Bombshell Report Indicates Parents May Have Bribed Kids To Smile For Christmas Photo

U.S.—A new, bombshell report indicated that local parents Jeff and Cynthia Peyton may have bribed their children, Jenna and Aiden, to smile for this year's Christmas photo.

An audio recording of the photoshoot earlier this year was leaked to press and seems to confirm the parents resorted to "blatant, wanton bribery" to elicit the desired expression from their kids.

"Look, just smile for the picture, and you'll get whatever you want," said Jeff Peyton on the leaked tape. "You want the new Minebuild or Fortdig game or whatever it's called? You got it. Candy? Piles of it. Smile for just three freaking seconds and you'll have the world."

The parents also reportedly resorted to straight-up threats, suggesting they would withhold dinner and screentime until their demands were met.

"We're dealing with a definite quid pro quo here," said one investigator. "The parents clearly dangled the offer of a trip to Chuck E. Cheese over the kids' heads just to get that two-second-long smile for this year's Christmas card."

"This goes all the way to the top."

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee