Top Premier League Footballer To Come Out As A Skate !

Friday, 6th Nov 2015 09:57 A rumour is sweeping the football World that a top Premier League footballer is about to reveal that he is a supporter of Portsmouth Football Club. A look at the calendar today will reveal that it is the 21st century, indeed 30 years ago after watching the film Back To The Future we all believed that by now we would all be flying around on hoverboards etc. But In the macho world of football it is still the Victorian era and although quite rightly Portsmouth fans or to give them the colloquial name that they are referred to as, "Skates" ! are now able to live and work openly in general society, not one professional footballer feels comfortable enough to be able to confess to his team mates that he is a Pompey supporter. A football dressing room is a harsh place to be and to be openly "Skate"would not be accepted, it is a world of beards, tattoo sleeves & top bantz, a Skate would be shunned and ridiculed and subject to comments like "It smells fishy in here" That would be the tip of the iceberg, football crowds would be just as unforgiving and a Skate would receive untold abuse and chanting from the stands of football grounds. A sad state of affairs in modern times when in general, at least in the Western World a man is able to come out and lead an openly Skate lifestyle, except in some Middle Eastern countries where it is still punishable by stoning. Indeed some try and say that the Bible preaches against being Skate and that when it says "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach him how to fish and he will eat forever" that this is advocating some sort of genocide on those who are Skate There have been several players who have admitted to being Skate after finishing their playing career, but during it have pretended to be a supporter of another team, Steve Claridge is an example of this, whilst at the height of his playing career in his autobiography he claimed to be a Liverpool supporter and it was only after retiring and taking up a media career was he able to talk openly about being a Skate. So why do so many professional footballers feel unable to admit to being a Skate, initially it is a suppression of feelings and a feeling of guilt to supporting such a football team, they feel that it is not natural and that they should conform with society, so they try to blend in with their team mates and they too laugh along at home defeats to Fleetwood Town. Some go a step further and like Steve Claridge try to cover their tracks by going overboard about supporting a big club like Liverpool or Southampton. Some lead a clandestine lifestyle and furtively attend games at Fratton Park in disguise, indeed one now openly Skate ex player revealed that his manager had had suspicions and had confronted him by saying. "When I want a loaf of bread I go to a bakers, when I want a joint of beef I go to a butchers, so why where you in Fratton Park last night" Bigotted behavior of course but this is prevalent n football and needs to be stamped out now and put where it firmly belongs. Perhaps it will though with rumours surfacing that a Premier League footballer is about to come out as Skate and perhaps open the floodgates for others to follow and admit to their team mates that they too like half empty football grounds, the sound of incessant drumming accompanied by a bugle, men in clown outfits showing poorly drawn tattoos and of course home defeats by Accrington Stanley . Exactly ! But this will be a breath of fresh air in football, of course being a Skate will always be about being in a minority in society, but there is no reason why society should not accept that minority and live along side them. It s wrong that people are turned down for jobs simply because they have a PO postcode, it is wrong that they cannot go down the shops without people pointing and sniggering, I for one welcome the fact that hopefully one man will make a stand in professional football and that in future others will follow. Photo: Action Images



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scottmcgarvey added 10:14 - Nov 6

Hilarious stuff, keep it coming! You'll win a prize for 'online wit of the year' soon... 1

Zambucco added 12:02 - Nov 6

One of you're better funny articles. 0

IWOZTHERE added 10:08 - Nov 7

If you go sea fishing you'll know all about Skate, but how you can confuse an ugly, slimy, bottom dwelling, smelly creature with a fish, I'll never know...... 0

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