11. Let go of attachment. At any second, on any day, at any moment, you could lose something or someone. Your house, your car, your phone, even your relationships—they’re impermanent, and none of them can make you 100% happy.

Happiness comes from within and that’s not a bad thing. It’s the best thing ever, in fact: it means that you can be happy right now, provided you change your mindset and just let go of attachment to the unnecessary. The most satisfying experiences in life are those which are experienced without any sense of attachment.

The reason many people in our society are miserable, sick, and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to things they have no control over. – Steve Maraboli

Easier said than done, I know. It’s not impossible, though. Eastern philosophy suggests that all suffering comes from attachment. Note that this is distinct from love—attachment comes from being afraid of losing something, but love is pure, kind, and selfless.

Where there is love, there is no room for fear.

12. Let go of all external validations. You know yourself better than anyone else. You also know, both instinctively and intellectually, what’s best for you. That doesn’t mean there’s any shortage of people in the world who would love nothing more than to tell you what to do. Don’t listen to them.

Don’t be affected by your environment—be above it, self-contained, someone carving out their own wild path. Make your own code of conduct and rules of honor, and live by those.

What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others. – Confucius

Don’t look to others to validate who you are and where you want to go. Just be you 100% of the time and never stop.

The same goes for other pursuits. You don’t need alcohol or drugs to have a good time and be accepted in the social crowd. You control your own mood—you don’t have to be dependent on anything external.

This applies to women as well: when you need validation from women to feel satisfied, you’re coming from a position of neediness and instability. You’re saying you’re too weak to be you without getting something from her.

Therefore, you are always taking value vs giving value which creates an environment where love cannot grow.

That’s dangerous, unattractive, and a recipe for disappointment. Be confident in who you are without needing anyone else to make you feel worthwhile. If you’re just being who you are, and the girl isn’t into you—who cares?

At the same time, you’ll find that just being you, not needing external validation from anyone and being confident will increase your success with women tenfold.

13. Let go of all anger. How many times have you looked back on a time when you were pissed off and thought, “that was a great night?” Anger is natural, but it’s usually unproductive, time consuming and painful in the long run.

It will eat at you from the inside out, and it will take its toll on your heart and your mental health, especially when allowed to fester and grow over time – sometimes years.

Whenever you’re angry, stop and put things into perspective. How significant is this, really? Will you even remember this or care about this next month? How about next year?

When you angrily linger on something instead of brushing it off, you magnify its effect on you. You give it power and surrender your thoughts to it.

The best fighter is never angry. – Lao Tzu

What’s more, anger tends to breed anger. Every time you really embrace your anger, you increase the likelihood that you’ll get a hot head more easily in the future. It becomes your default setting, and it multiplies the negative energy in your body and mind.

The world has enough of that. Don’t contribute anymore.

Instead, stay cool, calm and present. Don’t let things get under your skin. You don’t have time for that—you’ve got things to accomplish and goals to achieve, and anger is a set of bad winds drifting you off course from the things that truly matter.

14. Let go of bad relationships. You’ve probably known countless men who are miserable in their relationships. They complain about their girlfriends, they’re always fighting, and they make excuses not to be around them.

If the relationship can’t survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term? – Nicholas Sparks

Everyone around them wonders, why do they stay together?

The answer is usually either that a) they don’t have the courage to break it off and be single or b) there’s an unhealthy codependency there.

Neither option is good, and both hold you back from the happiness you two deserve.

It’s never easy ending a relationship, but it’s like taking off a bandage: getting it over quickly is better than drawing it out. For every week you stay in a bad relationship, it becomes that much harder (and much more devastating for both of you) when it all comes crashing down.

You find yourself entangled further and further, and the knot becomes increasingly difficult to untie. What’s worse, each week you stay in the relationship is one week gone from your life in which you could have been happy, free of that weight and negative energy.

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. – Mark Twain

Never stay in a relationship just for the sex. Yes, physical attraction is a part of the formula for a healthy relationship, but it’s not the only thing.

Holding on to the wrong relationship will make you more miserable than just about anything else. They say 90% of your happiness or misery comes from the significant other in your life.

Choose wisely and never out of desperation, but always from a position of wholeness.

“Like” our facebook page to get more free content like this!

15. Let go of all short term stimulus boosts. Corporations pour billions of dollars into new ways to convince us of what we need. There are millions of people who make a good living telling stories that influence our buying habits.

We’re inundated daily with the message that we need to watch the newest shows to stay in the loop, get a new car, buy a house, to try the latest food craze, or to make sure our clothing tags feature name brands.

These are the symptoms of a good life, so we’re told—the things we need to consume in order to live happily.

The things you own end up owning you. It’s only after you lose everything that you’re free to do anything. – Chuck Palahniuk

But how much do you really get from having the best car, the hot clothes, and the penthouse apartment? Does watching Game of Thrones for five hours at a time make you a better person?

Does getting baked and playing X-Box bring you closer to achieving your goals?

How about hitting the bars and spending money on booze so you can have a “good time” and maybe if your courageous enough..talk to girls?

When temporary indulgences become all-consuming they keep you from developing a life of action. You become a passive consumer of information, products, and media, instead of a person who creates anything or, truthfully, serves much of a purpose in the world.

Don’t be someone who lives to consume themselves with the creations of others. Instead, be someone who makes a lasting impression on the world with your own creations.

16. Let go of all insecurities. Your insecurities don’t do you any favors—when you tell yourself that you’re not good enough, your ability follows suit. Insecurity breeds inaction and childish behavior, and nobody finds it attractive – especially women.

We’ve all got weaknesses and areas in which we lack confidence, but the difference between happy and unhappy people (and successful and unsuccessful people) is that happy people accept them and don’t get hung up on them.

Instead of allowing their self-conscious aspects to cripple them, they go out and work to change them.

They’re confident, energetic, and positive, so people rally around them. All they do is win.

One of the greatest journeys in life is overcoming insecurity and learning to truly not give a shit. – J.A Konrath

For many people, what’s called Automatic Negative Thinking can be crippling—throughout their day, constantly, hundreds of times, negative thoughts buzz through their head.

It’s hard to get good things done when your head’s full of negative emotions.

Likewise, automatic positive thoughts can help propel you to new levels of happiness and productivity. You set the tone and control your mind fully. Take control of it, make a habit of positive thinking, and watch the results follow. Start now.

17. Let go of living up to other people’s expectations. Friends, family, spouse, enemies, teachers, the government, the media, and a thousand other nameless, faceless entities believe they know what’s best for you. They don’t. You do. Simple as that.

Somewhere inside of you, a voice inside of you is telling you what you really want to do. So many people ignore that voice to the point that, eventually, it disappears altogether—along with their chances at happiness.

I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine. – Bruce Lee

Be honest with yourself about where your passions lie, what makes you happy, and what you really want. Trying to live up to others people’s expectations will only frustrate you, and it will distract you from doing the things that truly matter to you.

You can’t please everyone. Somewhat paradoxically, people also tend to admire those who don’t seek their approval—we recognize when someone doesn’t feel the need to meet our expectations, and we associate that with strength and intelligence.

They are being true to themselves and so should you.

That’s all the more reason to steer your life in the direction that you want it to go in. You have one life—this one, right now— own it.

18. Let go of all complaining. What good has complaining ever done anyone? Why waste your time with it? You only have so much energy to devote to your day, and every second of it you spend complaining only serves to lower your mood and get you nowhere.

Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier. – Randy Pausch

From this point forward, resolve to not let outside occurrences touch you. Be unshakable. Nothing can make you unhappy unless you allow it to. It’s another response that you have, not the specific situation.

Something that makes you miserable may make another person ecstatic—it all comes down to point of view, and you can control yours.

When you complain about something, you give it power. Be above your problems, don’t let them touch you, and don’t show anyone that you can get flustered through complaining. Starting today, you’re above that. These problems are no longer on your radar.

You’re too busy achieving your goals to worry about them.

19. Let go of all failures. You will fail in life, and that’s okay. The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with creating more brilliant shit in your life and spending time with the people who matter. Everyone fails. Failures are a part of the process, and they impart us with lessons and experience that contribute to the larger end goal.

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. ― Robert F. Kennedy

Screwing up in the past doesn’t mean you’ll do it in the future. Trial and error is a part of all things. All that matters is what you do right now.

Remember what we’ve discussed before, that fear and insecurity are illusory of hold-ups that breed inaction.

Rid your mind of them, get back on the horse, and keep working. Failures happen, and you can’t control that. Move on and allow them to become a part of your success story.

20. Let go of comparing yourself to others. Only you can be you, with your unique gifts and talents. Your creative spark is yours alone.

Nobody in the world can beat you at being you. What’s more, there’s plenty of happiness and success to go around.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. – Oscar Wilde

Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time. Instead, you should be focused on being the best you. Who cares what others are doing? Be concerned with what you’re doing.

Comparison is the death of joy. ― Mark Twain

Instead of focusing on the ways other people seem better off than you, focus on what your strengths are. What do you bring to the table? Work on enhancing those skills. Become the best at what you do.

Know also that you’re already fortunate and blessed in a million ways, and that means there’s plenty in your own life to be very, very happy about.

21. Let go of thinking money will make you happy. There’s no grey area, according to numerous psychological studies: money can’t buy happiness. We’ve all heard it a million times, and yet we willingly ignore it again and again.

Money’s not bad, for sure—it can make our lives easier in many ways—but the things that make us happy are intangible. Friends, family, relationships, experiences, and self-actualization?

That’s where real, long-lasting happiness lives, and those are the things you’ll look back upon fondly in your final days.

Don’t think money does everything or you are going to end up doing everything for money. – Voltaire

Accumulating wealth and possessions is never truly satisfying, since we always want more.

Today, you may think you’d be overjoyed if you made a million dollars next year. Chances are that you actually wouldn’t be because next year, you’d wish you made 5 million. The super-rich often die alone and unhappy just as often as any other class of people.

Learn to value experiences and relationships over material items.

Self-improvement is also a strong indicator of happiness. Learning new things, exercising, and working towards goals gives us a sense of being in motion towards better things, which awakens optimistic tendencies. We know the future’s bright, and we’re happy to be barreling towards it.

So, focus on being the best version of yourself you can be, focus on the people you care about, and focus on the activities and goals you’re passionate about. When you follow your truest desires, that drive and optimism will translate into all the money you need to live the life you want.

Photos: © Sabphoto © lassedesignen © Sergey Nivens © olly – Fotolia.com

*Quick Tip: I suggest you bookmark this page and come back to it. Share it with a friend and discuss these topics.

Final Thoughts

Letting go of these 21 things will help you become happier, so long as you take them to heart and put them into practice. The best part of all is that when you let go of these things, you’ll feel happier now.

Not at some hazy point in the future.

Remember this truth: now matters more than any other time in your life, because it’s what you are doing today that is determining who you’re becoming, and who you’re becoming will always determine the quality and direction of your life.

The degree to which you accept responsibility for everything in your life is precisely the degree of personal power you have to change or create anything in your life.

It really doesn’t matter who is at fault—all that matters is that you and I are committed to leaving the past in the past and making our lives exactly the way we want them to be, starting today.

Not tomorrow, not next week, or next month. You’ve got to make a decision today that you’re ready to make the necessary changes to guarantee that you will be able to create the life you’ve always dreamed of.

To take your life and happiness to a level you’ve never been before, you have to be willing to commit at a level you’ve never committed to before.

Can you make that commitment for yourself?

– Andrew, Founder of Knowledge For Men

Did this article have an impact on you? I’m on a mission to impact a million men. Please share this article on your preferred social network on the left on desktop or below on mobile. Together we can make the world a happier place!

Want to become the strongest version of yourself?

Then click here to get a free trial to my elite community of 800+ high-performing men, The Secrets of the Top 1% of Men. Not only will you get tapped into your own “band of brothers”, but you’ll also have access to some of my best content and training as well as bi-weekly group calls with my team of coaches.

If you’re ready to push the boundaries of what’s possible in your life and become the man you’ve always wanted to be. This is the fastest way to do it.