‘Twas the night before football and all through the South,

Bammers were so nervous, you could hear their own gout.

The channels were programmed in their TV controllers,

In hopes Major League Baseball soon would be over.

The fans were all restless, on top of their beds.

As visions of houndstooth raced through their heads.

And Mama in her tank top, and Pa with his dip,

Had just finished eating, a tub of Cool Whip.

When on the TV. arose such a ruckus,

Pa went to the couch to see what the fuss was.

When what to his drunk vision did he see

But a TV station showing only the SEC.

With a little broadcaster so wormy and bald,

He knew for a moment, that he must be PAAWWLL.

“Pawl’s talkin bout Bama!” he yelled to his wife.

And he watched and cheered at what runs his sad life.

“There’s the Bear! and Saban! and Kirby and Kiffin!

And A.J.! and Ingram! Julio and Tiffin!”.

“They’re showing the weightroom! They’re showing it all!

Now the trainer! the game room! I love football!”

Then came the highlights from the last season’s games.

With touchdowns and tackles, Alabama’s best plays.

And then in an instant, the TV went black,

Pa wiggled the antenna, until the picture came back.

As he sat back in his seat, his face turned to panic,

Because on the TV, was the call from Rod Bramblett.

His face had turned white, as if he’d seen Death.

And let out a breath, that smelled like Spike80F.

“He’s got the distance, no” Rod started his call,

As Bama’s tried field goal, started to fall.

Chris Davis took the ball, out from the endzone.

And Pa watched again, from his mobile home.

Gus pumped his fist, as Davis ran by.

Auburn fans rushed the field, Pa started to cry.

And Malzahn appeared, once more from the booth.

Looked directly at Pa, and said “That was for you.”

It was a game, no doubt, we’ll always remember.

So Happy football to all, see you in November!