

Happy New Years, dudes! I hope that 2013 was good for you and I hope that 2014 is filled with good health, happiness, hot chicks and business success for all our loyal readers. I’m writing on the beach in East Malaysia where I am taking a little New Years’ trip with one of my favorite girlfriends, a very pretty and nice nurse from Hong Kong. I will try to write a little report on Kota Kinabalu soon, but it occurs to me that I promised some more writing on India, so I would like to tackle the subject of the prospects (or lack thereof) for finding women in India.

I have been to 50 countries now, and I can say without reservation that India is the absolute worst place for women I have ever been. I can think of no place less suitable for a single dude trip with the objective of meeting chicks than India. Perhaps some places I have not been yet, like Saudi Arabia or some AIDS infested shithole Sub-Saharan African country might be worse, but those places would be expected to be poor choices. India, however, is a much greater disappointment due to the false stereotype that exists that it is a country with many beautiful women.

Usually I think that stereotypes exist for a reason, but India is a country where the stereotypes do not match the reality in a couple of extremely important ways. I discussed earlier how the Indian reputation for high intelligence and tech savvy is completely undeserved. India is a world leader in retardation and this is important to know before you outsource any important business there.

There also persists a myth that Indian women are beautiful, thanks perhaps to Bollywood. It is similar to what some people expect of America based on Hollywood movies where all the chicks are slim and beautiful. Unfortunately the Bollywood beautiful women myth is completely false. In fact, nothing could be farther from the truth. I was in India for two weeks and I did not see a single, truly hot Indian chick the entire time I was there. Granted, I was in Goa during the off season for the majority of my time there where there was basically no one there, much less hot chicks. However I did spend a couple days in Mumbai and walked around in the Fort district extensively, went to some fancy restaurants, and there were no chicks hot enough to be worth looking at twice. Mean while at a place like Beach Bar in Sofia, Bulgaria even on a slow Tuesday night you would find at least 10-15 super hot chicks.

India is a complete sausage fest. There is a shocking imbalance of men to women in public in India. Walking around on a Sunday afternoon in Mumbai I saw 15-20 men for every woman. It is completely common to see 50 men in a row walk down the street with nary a whiff of feminine presence. The only other places where I saw such enormous multitudes of men everywhere was on the street in Istanbul’s Beyolu neighborhood, and in Marrakesch, Morocco. In those places it is a Muslim thing, where the local small dicked dudes are so insecure they they keep all the women locked up at home, and covered head to toe when they let them go to the market.

In India, there are occasional females on the street but they are completely unacceptable to the typical single dude. Overweight, with acne-riddled skin from a lifetime of greasy cheap Indian food, their belly fat sticking out of their saris; the typical Indian woman is a beast. Contrast this with a street scene in Eastern Europe with gorgeous classy girl after girl walking down the street in high heels and hot outfits. It’s not even the same species, dudes.

Even the alleged hot chicks are not really that hot. I know a budding Bollywood starlet who is a regular star on some Indian TV show who I met in Hong Kong last year. Sure, she is relatively pretty, but like most of the Bollywood actresses she has never thought of stepping in a gym. An 8 face and a 6 body will get you work in Bollywood if you’re an Indian chick.

Don’t believe me? Check out this article entitled the Top 100 Hottest Indian Women.

Sure, some of this chicks are alright, as to expected when you pick the best 100 out of a 500-600 million, but even the hottest ones are really rather so-so in the grand scheme of things. None of these chicks would ever contend for a local beauty contest in Russia, Brazil, Bulgaria, Latvia, Vietnam, or a host of other places. And some are downright disgraceful.

Check out this tranny at #4, Kareena Kapoor:

#6 is totally unacceptable. I wouldn’t fuck Sania Mirza with a stolen dick.

If you’re into skinny fat anorexics #17, Alicia Raut, should be up your alley:

Contrast this to another article entitled the Hottest Russians. Statistically, one would think that India, with almost 10 times the population of Russia, would have an advantage, but there are very few Indian women that are even in the same league as an average hot Russian woman. I’d take a hot Russian office chick over a Bollywood star any day of the week.

Here’s another article with Brazilian chicks for your perusal (sorry dudes, only 50 this time).

I imagine an Indian guy would disagree and insist that some skinny fat hack actress is who he has only seen on TV with makeup and CGI effects is the highest standard of beauty, but as an unbiased observer I can tell you without reservation, no fucking way dudes! India is a wasteland for women. For single dudes traveling to India the only possible options are to import your own chick to India or go pick up horny party Russians on the beach in Goa during high season. Still though, it’s not really worth it, and I would much prefer Nha Trang Vietnam, which has plenty of party Russians, plus beautiful friendly local Vietnamese girls, and also delicious food and a high availability of drugs without the retardation everywhere and creepiness of the Indian guys.

The Indians, despite their reputation for the Kama Sutra, Tantric sex and gods with 50 penises, are actually total prudes. They keep the sexes separated there. My guess is that all the women hang out in at home in very unsexy saris and gossip about Bollywood. They don’t really mix with the men, and therefore the men have no ability to relate normally with women outside their family. You can’t even get a massage from someone of the opposite sex in India. The women usually dress very conservatively, because any nicely dressed sexy woman is pretty much guaranteed to feel uncomfortable at best and at worst get raped.

The sexual assaults on women in India have gotten quite bad. There are regular stories of gang rape coming out of the country and every Indian woman has stories of being groped on the bus and being stared at in a creepy fashion by hordes of weird Indian dudes. The creepy Indian dude stare is something every female traveler to the country is very familiar with.

Indian guys can be quite a bunch of closeted queers. I was regularly approached by creepy Indian guys on the beach who insisted on putting their arm around me for a picture session and tried to follow me around. Indian bars deserve special mention. Every Indian bar I have been to was populated by 90%+ men, with a 1 to 1 ratio of man to whiskey bottle. After drinking for several hours, not talking to each other, and listening to music that sounds like cats fucking, the drunk Indian guys like to fight each other and approach me, put their hands all over me without permission, try to pour whiskey down my throat and act like they want to be my best friend. Before they get drunk enough to approach however, they like to stare for the first couple hours. It’s very weird and sometimes quite uncomfortable.

It is not uncommon to see Indian guys walking down the beach in bikini Speedos holding hands. Go to an Indian menswear store and I challenge you to shop for underwear that isn’t animal print bikini briefs. The Indian dudes can be quite flamboyantly closeted. Indian beaches means lots of weird Indian homo-eroticism and absolutely no chicks in bikinis unless they are foreigners. Compare and contrastthis with Sunny Beach in Bulgaria or the outrageous scene on the beaches of Brazil and you might as well be dealing with a different species on a different planet.

I’m sorry to be so harsh, but I need to be absolutely clear that India is the worst place I have ever been for the single dude traveler to meet a local girl. The USA or UK is a paradise in comparison, and regular readers know that I have an extremely low opinion of the single dude prospects of those places. I do like Indians in spite of their weirdness; they are very friendly and outgoing, but single dudes need to know that the Bollywood stereotype is nothing like the reality. Perhaps northern India is better, but I cannot imagine it could be enough of an improvement to justify a single dude trip. So if you go, bring your own chick, enjoy the cheap, strong drugs, do some yoga, eat some delicious local food (but try not to overeat) and for Ganesh’s sake, try to not get raped.