Last Thursday I presented to you readers some useless snack-like facts to get us from one thing happening in the offseason to the next thing happening. I’m sure it left you momentarily satisfied, and then, about an hour later when your blood sugar dropped, egregiously unsatisfied and cranky. Though my methodology in determining most of the facts I listed could be described as “dubious” and “mainly derived from answers people provided on WikiAnswers,” some of the facts were even less rigorously determined. They were determined by no method, really, except for me guessing and laughing. One such item was particularly amusing to me and is reproduced below:

Possible Defensive Alignment with Nobody On if Baseball Was Played with a Jellybean and Not a Baseball

What this post is, is more of these types of silly guesses on how one might align themselves defensively on a field if one were playing baseball differently or under unusual circumstances. All of the following assume no one is on base.

Defensive Alignment if Spiderman Was Playing in Centerfield with His Excellent UZR

Defensive Alignment if Stephen Hawking was Playing in Centerfield with His Less-than-Excellent UZR

Defensive Alignment Most Pleasing to Someone with a Particular Type of OCD

Defensive Shift if All Outfielders Were Drunk and Behaving in a Disorderly Manner

Defensive Shift if Dragons Were Real and Attacking

Defensive Alignment if the Cocoon from Cocoon was Found Just Beyond Second Base

How These Defensive Alignments Might Look to Someone with Deuteranopic Colorblindness

How These Defensive Alignments Might Look to Someone with Full-On Blindness