FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT

After his disastrous field-trip to Cobargo, Scotty from Marketing has returned with a secret weapon which he is certain will win the adulation he needs to score some decent handshake footage for the next LNP TV commercial montage: palm cards containing quotes from the popular 2001 Ben Stiller comedy ‘Zoolander’.

“Come on, shake my hand guys; it’s not my fault I’m so ridiculously good-looking” the PM said, to unimpressed locals, as he dramatically ran a comb through hair slick with extra-hold styling gel.

“Hey, how’s this? Check out my Blue Steel!” said the man who according to Wikipedia is the Prime Minister of Australia.

“Nothing? What is wrong with you guys; it’s apparently a great movie that normal people like. Hey, what is this place? A town for ants? hahaha”.

However, the locals are still far from won over.

“What is wrong with this guy? Have we not suffered enough?” asked Dorothy Wheeler, 63.

“I had to put on this straight jacket just to keep my hands safe. Now he wants to wreck a classic movie? He’s out of control”.

But the Promo Minister wasn’t finished yet.

“Come on guys, I just need some decent handshake footage for the montage” begged the alleged leader as he whipped out yet another palm card. “This place is amazing; Derelicte is so hot right now”.

At that moment several firefighters stood and silently began advancing on the PM, who along with his camera crew, decided to hastily retreat to the shiny blue bus, with one last desperate attempt to win favour; “Ex-squeeze me, I have to go. I think this place is giving me the black lung.”