When Guy Ritchie directed Sherlock Holmes in 2009, he didn't have a care in the world. Nobody had taken any interest in Holmes for years, so when he decided to update the character as a cross between Jonathan Creek and Macho Man Randy Savage, he pretty much had the run of the place.

But the forthcoming Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows exists in an entirely different environment. Now it has to compete. For many, the definitive Sherlock Holmes is now the modern-day BBC version. This means that Ritchie's Holmes has to go out of its way to differentiate itself even further to stand out. But can it succeed? Let's look at the latest trailer for Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows to see it can pull off this unlikely win ...

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Best Holmes – At least Ritchie has this category in the bag from the get-go. The BBC only has Benedict Cumberbatch as Holmes. Which is good and all, but Guy Ritchie has Iron Man, for crying out loud. There's no beating that.

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Best Watson – Once again, Ritchie runs away with this. The Watson in the BBC Sherlock production is played by lovely old Martin Freeman, with his quizzical looks and Paul Weller haircut. But has he ever worn a hat as silly as this? And, even if he has, has it ever been perched at such a preposterously jaunty angle? No. And that's why Ritchie has the advantage.

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Best Moriarty – Easy victory for Ritchie again. He's got a proper Moriarty. Shadowy, bearded, murderous, riding a sleigh in a top hat three times as tall as his head and played by everyone's favourite Mad Men actor. The BBC, meanwhile, has to make do with a shrieking Graham Norton type who apparently kills people by annoying them to death. Ritchie's really stretching into an impressive lead here.

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Best scene of Holmes attacking a person in native Mongolian costume, with an umbrella, in slow motion – You could claim that Ritchie's Holmes was always going to win this category, simply because the BBC's version has singularly failed to show Holmes attacking a person in native Mongolian costume, with an umbrella, in slow motion, in any of its three episodes. But that's probably just unpleasant chippiness on your part.

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Best exploding tree sequence – Again, yes, no trees exploded in the BBC adaptation of Sherlock Holmes, but that doesn't make Hollywood's attempts any less impressive. Another win for Ritchie.

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Best disappointed-looking extra in the bottom right of the screen as a marquee explodes – No, you shut up. This isn't getting a bit too niche. I'm not just picking these categories because the BBC version is better and I don't want to admit it. I'm not. Look at the extra here. He really does look quite disappointed. Don't listen to them, Ritchie. You've won again.

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Best exploding tree sequence – Yes, OK, Ritchie, we've done that one. You won it. There's really no need to repeat yourse …

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Best exploding tree sequence – Oh fine, you're good at filming exploding trees. Is that what you wanted to hear, Guy? Is it? Actually, I wish there weren't so many shots of exploding trees in this trailer. It makes it look as if that's all there is to the entire film. Buck your ideas up, or I'll give the next point to the BBC.

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Sexiest female lead – Oh Guy, you never let me down. It's a clean sweep for Guy Ritchie. Hooray! In your face BBC!