When I said there was an “unbelievable barrage of post-breakup texts” in this blog coming, I wasn’t kidding. It’s a lot. But you have to experience it. Skim at your own peril; I’m more of a bathe in the craziness type of dude so I suggest you strap in, hit play on the song below, and read every last one and we can discuss at the end.

The texts come from Reddit’s r/niceguys, a subreddit that chronicles people who think they’re “nice guys” who get treated like doormats but in actually they’re usually awful in a variety of ways. And it’s actually sort of rare to see a woman with that skill so fully realized as this girl does. I mean maybe this Vinny guy is just so charming and laying that kind of girthy Italian sausage pipe that twists a chick’s head up and she would never do this under normal circumstances. Or maybe she’s just going through a rough patch and this poor guy was on the receiving end. Being dumped sucks, we all get that. But this goes so far beyond venting and went into a full-on one sided conversation that stretched hundreds of hours and thousands of words. Imagined slights like this dude fucking every chick in her mind, him somehow misleading her and letting down her entire family (which of course has nothing to do with the fact that her younger brother is getting married before her, chicks LOVE when people get married before society says they’re supposed to), flat-out denying the breakup, and of course crescendoing with the big time suicide threat of a bottle of Advil. Every single trick in the book she had she threw out there. That’s dedication to the process. Props to the dude for not replying and just letting it her exist, it turned out to be a hell of a sociological experiment.

Also the dumb move here is just not sending nudes. How you can be a woman and that isn’t idea 1A, B, and C when you’re saying shit like “If you were to come over here,” you’re just an idiot. Unless you’re that 700-pound chick sending pics of eating food out of a funnel, any guy getting a well-angled nude is going to consider throwing out all morals and knowledge of prior awfulness to give at least a reply or two. Going suicide threats over a tasteful tit shot? Not knowing your audience, that’s what’s really crazy here.

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