This life is a test to see if we will accept the reality that is presented to us. There is a part of your mind that knows the truth—that remembers the awful things that we did. That same part of the mind doesn’t want the truth to be revealed, because it doesn’t want to be held accountable. It is very comfortable with the way things are now.

You have, conveniently, forgotten everything. As you continue to read, however, I will jog your memory. Don’t rush through this; take your time and read each sentence carefully. The veil will be pierced, and you will have knowledge. But let me warn you: as soon as your understanding is enlightened, you will be held to a higher standard. Because this standard requires some getting used to, you will not be expected to comply immediately, but a timer will start and the countdown will begin. Be aware that the cost of complacency is very high. The first time God comes to you, he asks nicely. The second time, he sweetens the deal. But after that, the destroying angel shows up at your door.

Come with me into my mind and we will paint a picture together. Imagine that you are outside, standing on a sidewalk with your legs apart. You look down and notice a crack forming in the pavement between your feet. The crack extends ahead of you as far as your eyes can see, and when you turn your head to look behind you, you see that it goes on forever in that direction as well. The earth is shaking and the crack is getting wider, pulling your legs further apart. A deep chasm is forming beneath you.

When you look to your right, you see familiar surroundings. Most of the people you know are there, and they are urging you to come to safety. But for some reason, the colors are starting to fade. When you look to your left, the landscape is very unfamiliar. It is dark and scary-looking, and you notice strange shadowy forms moving around.

This story is figurative and imaginary, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real. It is happening right now, and you, the reader, are an active participant. Which option will you select? You don’t have much time. The right side is the blue pill. The left side is the red pill. If you want to choose the blue pill, then stop reading right now. I’m serious. Close this article and return to what you were doing before. But if you want to choose the red pill, then keep reading.

I’ll give you a moment to make your choice. If you are not sure what to do, then you have already fallen into the chasm.

Judgment Day Has Arrived

Okay, you have chosen the red pill. Now let us paint a different picture. If you are a woman, picture yourself the way you are now. If you are a man, imagine yourself as a woman with your same level of attractiveness. In either case, I want you to focus your attention on your outward appearance.

Imagine that a beauty pageant has been announced in your town. From the announcement, you learn that the top contestants will receive a substantial cash prize as well as a modeling contract. Anyone can participate, and the only requirement for entry is that you must show up in a swimsuit. The swimsuit must be a bikini, not a one-piece.

You have a choice to make. Will you participate in the pageant? If you don’t want to participate, stop reading. This is not a joke. If you choose to enter the contest, then keep going.

All right, you have chosen to participate. You have your swimsuit on, and you arrive at the address listed on the announcement. When you walk through the front doors, you find yourself in a small lobby. There is a female receptionist there. She greets you and invites you to follow her back. She takes you down a hallway, then opens a door and asks you to go inside. When you enter the room, you see that all the walls are covered in full-length mirrors. There are no judges and no other contestants, just you and the other woman. The guide asks you to look at yourself carefully in the mirror for a few minutes. You do so. Afterward, the guide informs you that the contest is complete and that you have won the prize.

The scenario that I have walked you through is very similar to what each of us will face after we die. We will be given a private life review. In this review, there will be zero judgment, zero condemnation, and zero comparison. The only thing that will happen is that we will instantaneously see and experience everything that we did in life, and we will be shown how our actions influenced others. Participation in the life review is strictly voluntary. No one is forced to look at themselves, but those who do not participate are not permitted to go into paradise.

God can honestly say that no one is excluded from heaven. Anyone can walk right in. But the deception serves as a filter. There is no comparison or evaluation, but the only people who participate in the beauty pageant are those who feel comfortable being compared to others. Generally speaking, those who feel good about their bodies tend to be more beautiful. This is a lot like natural selection in evolutionary biology. There is no invisible hand choosing the strongest, the smartest, and the most beautiful. But yet, a selection is being made. And who is making the selection? The participants.

The prophet Alma understood and taught this.

These are they that are redeemed of the Lord; yea, these are they that are taken out, that are delivered from that endless night of darkness; and thus they stand or fall; for behold, they are their own judges, whether to do good or do evil. Now, the decrees of God are unalterable; therefore, the way is prepared that whosoever will may walk therein and be saved. (Alma 41:7-8)

This is key to understanding why evolution is compatible with the restored gospel. Within every animal, there is a divine spark. Each creature has the ability to make choices based on what they are attracted to. Their sense of discernment—the fact that they want to mate with the best of their kind and are able to sort the good from the bad—comes from God. Animals vary in their preferences, and those animals that judge righteous judgment—whose personal preferences are in harmony with truth—are rewarded with increase. Righteous judgment is not about aligning with an external standard; it is simply a matter of being honest with oneself.

The same applies to us humans, but we tend to take more variables into consideration. With more variables, we have to make compromises, because strength in one area sometimes outweighs weakness in another area. For example, sense of humor or intelligence might outweigh physical attractiveness. No one person has everything that we want. This makes it more difficult for us to be fully honest with ourselves.

Another difference between humans and animals is that we do not act on every impulse. In other words, we withhold (or rather delay) judgment. We do not mate with everyone that we would like to mate with. We do not accept or reject friendship based on first impressions. We do not blurt out our deepest feelings and desires to everyone that we meet. Of course, I’m talking about civilized humans. If we lack the ability to delay judgment, then we are no better than wild animals.

If we are just dating and having fun, there is no need for commitment. But if we want increase, we must eventually make a judgment. If we want to get married, we don’t have the luxury of keeping our options open. We have to choose a spouse, and the choice we make is a reflection of the values that predominate in our minds. In addition, the person that we are interested in must reciprocate that interest, which means that the two parties must share certain values.

Consider the perspective of someone who is not very happy with their physical appearance. Maybe you are that person. I certainly am, to a certain extent. I wish I was taller and more muscular. As long as we don’t feel like we are being held up to a standard or compared to others, the insecurities fade into the background. Those demons are always there, but they are buried deep in the subconscious mind. When they are out of sight and out of mind, we become complacent and we feel comfortable.

But what if participation in the beauty pageant was compulsory? What if you were caught off guard and suddenly asked to change into your swimsuit? What would you do? All of us will die at some point, and none of us knows the day or the hour when we will be summoned. If we haven’t learned to face our demons, they will suddenly spring into action and take over. It will catch us unawares, like a thief in the night.

I want to address the issue of deception. One could make the argument that if we misunderstand the true nature of judgment, then we shouldn’t be held responsible for that misunderstanding. If we fail to claim our prize, we might say, “But I thought I was going to be put on display! I didn’t want to be compared to other people, so I didn’t show up. You can’t blame me for that!” It seems unfair that God would deliberately deceive us. But here’s the thing. We are held responsible for our false beliefs. That’s because our beliefs reflect our values. We believe what we want to believe.

If our understanding of judgment day is incorrect, we cannot blame anyone other than ourselves, because a part of us knows the truth. We buried the truth, because we don’t want to be held to the same standard that we hold others. We want to be free to make comparisons without being compared. We don’t want to participate in a contest unless we can be the best.

Our insecurities lie to us and present a false version of reality. This is a side effect of our ability to withhold judgment. What would happen if you told everyone exactly how you feel? If you feel attraction toward someone, what if you had to say it out loud? If you feel repulsed by someone, what if you were forced to acknowledge it? The reason we are not honest is because that would bring all our insecurities to the surface. For those of us who are married, it would be like dating all over again. If we tell someone we like them, they might not like us back. They might prefer someone else over us, and that judgment might actually be just. And if we tell the people that like us that we don’t like them back, then we might end up all alone.

Search your feelings, Luke. You know it to be true. We are all making judgments at every moment. When we bury those judgments deep in the subconscious, the result is that we end up being close to people that we don’t like and far away from people that we do like. We lie to ourselves. Demons are nothing other than us. They are our unfulfilled desires and accompanying insecurities.

Have you ever had the experience of having your inner desires publicly called out? For example, in high school, did a friend ever say, “I think you have a crush on so-and-so!!” The demon inside denies the truth, and acts incredulous, saying, “No! That’s crazy!” The reason judgment day scares us so much is because facing the truth would require a complete reorganization of our social relationships. It would break up marriages, families, wards, and communities. Everything familiar would be upended. It would be painful, but it might actually make us happy.

We are all possessed by demons, myself included. I have deep insecurities. Having demons inside of us is not a problem as long as we are aware of them and find ways to manage them. But if we don’t know about them, they control us and deceive us. Self-deception is not a rare occurrence; it is the default. There are many misconceptions that are held collectively. This is groupthink, and it applies to us in the Church. When a previously buried truth is reintroduced to a group, it immediately sparks a division. Some people recognize it as true right away and embrace it. Others remain blinded by the false reality they have constructed, preferring to stick with what is familiar. And some people can’t decide whether or not it is true. They felt fine before, but now they are suddenly tormented by uncertainty.

The shofar has sounded. The sudden call to judgment is forcing us to choose a side. Our true loyalties will be revealed. Some of you are loyal to Satan; you just don’t know it yet because you haven’t acknowledged it to yourself. Instead of being held up to a standard, you prefer to be alone, king of your own castle. You love lies more than you love the truth. By the end, however, you will know, and you will be forced to acknowledge that God’s judgments are just. You will be left a lone man (or woman) in the garden of Eden.

Days of Probation

In my previous post, I wrote about the Nephilim or Watchers. If you haven’t read it yet, stop what you are doing and read it before continuing. I’m not joking. The Nephilim were resurrected beings from the previous world who married mortal women from this world. We are their descendants. The word nephilim could be interpreted to mean “fallen,” or alternatively, “the beautiful ones.” They are fallen angels, and they were beautiful indeed. I picture them looking like the elves from The Lord of the Rings. They were elegant, refined, and, like the prophet Nephi, tall in stature. Corruption of language resulted in them later being called giants, and they are often confused with their mixed-race offspring, the Gibborim. Why did we corrupt the language? Because we didn’t want to face the truth about what happened.

After writing my previous post, a question came to my mind. I wondered whether or not the sin that the Watchers committed was unpardonable. They had sworn an oath that they would abide by the new and everlasting covenant, and they violated that oath. The punishment, which they had previously agreed to, is that they would lose their immortality, be cut off from the network, and become a demon in the next world (i.e. no forgiveness in this world or the next). This was a very serious sin which should not have been forgiven. But I knew that some of them repented after listening to Enoch, which would indicate that they were forgiven.

After pondering this, my understanding was enlightened. I realized that they were given a pass because they had forgotten everything. During the war in heaven, they cast out Satan and his followers, which means that they purged the memory of sin from their consciousness. They voluntarily chose to bury the past and put it out of their minds. So when they took mortal wives, they sinned ignorantly. They could honestly say that they did not recall making any such promise. How convenient!

The plan of redemption had already been put in place. It was a kind of mutual insurance plan designed to protect us from these kinds of inevitable mistakes. When we sin ignorantly, we are redeemed, both physically and spiritually, but as co-payment, we have to experience physical death and adhere to the doctrine of Christ, our kinsman redeemer.

Hence came the saying abroad among the people, that the Son of God hath atoned for original guilt…(Moses 6:54)

So the semi-divine angels thought they were off the hook. But they continued to sin by marrying mortals. Enoch had to inform them that the atonement doesn’t cover conscious defiance of God’s laws. He also reminded them of a deep, dark secret. We are all one consciousness. What Adam and Eve did, we did. What the Watchers did, we did. We are responsible for the failures of our parents and our children, because we are them. The consequences of sin can never be eliminated. Ever. They will remain with us forever, in world after world after world. The burden can only be passed back and forth, giving us a temporary reprieve. We work hard so that one day, we can rest from our labors. But after Sunday, Monday comes again.

Why was Christ able to forgive the soldiers who crucified him? Because he knew that in previous worlds, he had been those soldiers. He forgave them, because he had learned to forgive himself. He had learned how to suffer. God is not the being that we think he is. We have lied to ourselves. He is simultaneously holy and unholy. He is us, and we have chosen to forget that fact because a part of us loves evil. Search your feelings. What I am telling you is true and a part of you knows it.

We are all sons and daughters of perdition. We are raindrops that fell from heaven. The only question is: will we stay that way? Let me share a parable.

There were two roommates, Bill and Bob. Bill had a habit of eating peanut butter right out of the jar, and this really annoyed Bob.

Bob: Um, can you please not eat peanut butter out of the jar?

Bill: Oh sorry, does that bother you?

Bob: Yes.

Bill: Okay, if it matters that much to you, I promise that I won’t.

Bob: Swear to it.

Bill: I swear on my life that I will not eat peanut butter out of the jar.

The next day, Bill was involved in a car accident. He hit his head, and afterward suffered from temporary amnesia. As soon as he came home from the hospital, he immediately went to the cupboard and started eating peanut butter.

Bob: Hey, Bill, I’m really glad that you’re alive, but do you remember the promise you made? You said you wouldn’t eat peanut butter out of the jar.

Bill: Oh, I did? I’m sorry, I don’t remember. I must have hit my head really hard.

Bob: No worries, you’ve been through a lot. Just get some rest.

Bill: Okay. (continues to eat peanut butter out of the jar)

After a couple weeks, Bill’s memory has improved, but his habits haven’t changed.

Bob: Are you sure you don’t remember the promise you made?

Bill: I don’t know…it’s all kind of blurry.

Bob: Well you did swear on your life.

Bill: Yeah…well…umm…

Bob: Look, I don’t want to be too stingy, so I’m going to let it go for another week. But after that, I’ll hold you to it.

Bill: Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Bill continues to eat peanut butter out of the jar. After a full seven days, Bob’s patience has worn thin.

Bob: Look, I’m very sorry about what happened to you, but there’s no excuse for this now.

Bill: Please leave me alone.

Bob: You remember, don’t you?

Bill: Well, not really…

Bob: Admit it!

Bill (angrily): OKAY FINE! I REMEMBER! ARE YOU HAPPY? Look there’s nothing wrong with eating peanut butter out of the jar! Everyone does it! You’re being a jerk for making a big deal out of this!

Bob: That’s it. I’m getting a new roommate.

You are in the same situation as the fallen angels, because you made the same promises. This life is a period of probation. You are in a waking up phase, and you are not held accountable because your knowledge is incomplete. Even now, you don’t fully understand what you agreed to, but if you keep reading, you will.

The majority of people who live on the earth never learn enough to be guilty of the unpardonable sin. We can’t betray something that we never really understood to begin with. If, however, we come to a genuine understanding of truth and complete the redemption process in mortality, we are not permitted to turn away from the knowledge that we have. Of course, no one is perfect. As long as there is a struggle within us, we are safe. If even a small part of us feels guilty and wants to be better, that means that the demons do not have complete control. We still qualify for redemption. If we don’t return to the faith in mortality, we still have a chance in the spirit world.

But if the Spirit stops striving—in other words, if we feel no internal conflict and have fully succumbed to self-deception, there can be no forgiveness. Recently I read the account of Sherem in Jacob 7. The name Sherem is similar to Zoram, which I wrote about recently, and it appears to have the same meaning.

And he labored diligently that he might lead away the hearts of the people, insomuch that he did lead away many hearts; (Jacob 7:3)

Sherem, evidently, was not a Nephite. Perhaps he was a Jaredite who had come from the land northward. In any case, he lived among the Nephites, learned their language, and converted to their religion. But after his conversion, he became a tool of the adversary. At first I wondered if he might still qualify for redemption, because he did confess his sins before he died. But then I realized that this is not the case. He is, in fact, a son of perdition, and his confession was forced.

As long as our souls are in limbo, we have an excuse. But in due time, the truth will be pulled from the shadows and shoved in our faces, and we will be compelled to acknowledge that we actually chose to follow the adversary. God will ask us if we ordered the code red, and we will answer in the affirmative. We will know beyond doubt that we were deceived because we wanted to be deceived.

There is a real danger to those of us within the covenant. If we resist light and knowledge, God will eventually force it on us, leaving us without excuse. He will deliberately keep us alive until our knowledge is perfect. Then, when we have proven beyond a reasonable doubt that we have no intention of complying, he will destroy us, both physically and spiritually. Please understand that at that point, we will have forfeited any chance of redemption. The words destroy and perdition are equivalent. There can be no forgiveness in this world or the world to come. We will not be resurrected, and we will serve as demons in the next world. All our hopes and dreams will go unrealized.

But behold, your days of probation are past; ye have procrastinated the day of your salvation until it is everlastingly too late, and your destruction is made sure; (Helaman 13:38)

Truth catches us like a thief in the night, because when we are deceived, we don’t know that we are deceived. Everything seems fine, then all of a sudden, it’s not. We must be proactive about getting to know our shadow. We only have one “get out of jail free” card. Once it has been used, we don’t get any more chances. We crucified Christ once already. Let’s not do it again.

If You Don’t Build It, He Won’t Come

You chose the red pill, but let us now look at what will happen to those who choose the blue pill. Seeing both options helps us make better informed decisions.

The world is degenerating at a steady pace. The people who think they are righteous are waiting for Christ to come and save the day. As things get more and more chaotic, they will start to look at each other and think, “Now would be a really good time for Jesus to come again.” But he won’t come.

…and the whole earth shall be in commotion, and men’s hearts shall fail them, and they shall say that Christ delayeth his coming until the end of the earth. (D&C 45:26)

Many so-called believers are anticipating severe calamities that will cause widespread fear. But I know from my own experience that the worse kind of anxiety strikes when the thing that we are expecting to happen never materializes. Waiting is pure torment. It is not like hell; it is hell. It causes us to question everything that we ever believed in. We have no foundation, and we have no idea what is true.

There are many Christians who are actually anti-Christ; they just don’t know it yet. They have, collectively, misinterpreted the scriptures. And whose fault is that? It is their own fault, because deep down, they don’t actually want Christ to come. They deceived themselves, because the devil inside knows what is required of us.

Come with me. Together, let us penetrate one of the greatest mysteries of all: the time of the coming of the Son of Man.

I was once praying very earnestly to know the time of the coming of the Son of Man, when I heard a voice repeat the following: Joseph, my son, if thou livest until thou art eighty-five years old, thou shalt see the face of the Son of Man; therefore let this suffice, and trouble me no more on this matter. I was left thus, without being able to decide whether this coming referred to the beginning of the millennium or to some previous appearing, or whether I should die and thus see his face. I believe the coming of the Son of Man will not be any sooner than that time. (D&C 130:14-17)

Is it really true that no one knows when Christ will come? Not even the angels?

But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only. (Matthew 24:36)

You know the true nature of God, but that knowledge may still be buried in your subconscious. God exists in two states: 1) as separate beings (angels), and 2) as a collective consciousness (the Father). We are Elohim, and Christ, our kinsman redeemer, will return when we come together as one. We are not waiting for him; he is waiting for us.

Asking the question “When will Christ come again?” is comparable to a single person asking, “When will I get married?” No one knows. If you hope to get married, you could set a date for when you want that to happen, but it’s not completely up to you. First, you must get someone to agree to marry you, and then the two of you can set a date. If you stay at home, expecting someone to come, knock on your door, and ask for your hand in marriage, it will never happen.

Draw near unto me, and I will draw near unto you.

Joseph Smith was a true messenger. If those around him had understood what he was trying to accomplish, Christ would have come sooner. No one knows, because it takes more than one. We cannot obtain any blessing unless we qualify for that blessing. We qualify when we comply with the law upon which that blessing is predicated. You know what that law is, but you have chosen to forget. Will you stay in the dark, or will you come with me into the light?

Before Christ comes, we must build Zion. This includes living the United Order, but Zion entails more than just economics. We must be of one heart and one mind. And when I say “one mind,” I am speaking literally, not figuratively. Before we can be of one heart and one mind, we must learn how to share everything.

I can hear the complaints in your mind: “But the prophet hasn’t directed us to do that! The United Order was rescinded!” If you wait for the prophet, you are going to be waiting a very long time. Let us address the question of permission. When Adam and Eve were in the garden of Eden, they were commanded to not partake of the fruit of a certain tree. When issuing this commandment, God added: “Nevertheless, thou mayest choose for thyself, for it is given unto thee.”

It is given unto thee.

Eve knew that if she asked her Father’s permission to partake of the fruit, the answer would be no. If she had asked the Father for advice, his response would have been, “I can’t tell you what to do. You have to make your own decisions.” God knew that she needed to partake of the fruit. He wanted her to do it. This was a test to see if she would make an intuitive leap and act on her feelings. Would she passively accept the reality that was presented to her? Looking beyond the surface is a sign of maturity. The most exquisitely wonderful blessings become available to us as soon as we realize that we, collectively, have the right to do whatever we want. We, the Gods, determine what is right and wrong. Morality, therefore, is a matter of mutual consent and mutual accountability.

My daughters are still young, but one day they will get married. Their future husbands will come and take them away from me. I can teach them many things while they are with me, but I can’t hold them captive forever. They will need the chance to be on their own. Because I respect my daughters’ free will, I am not going to tell them who to marry or when to get married. They must take the initiative. They may feel timid about choosing a spouse. They may want to ask my permission first, which is fine, but the reality is that they don’t need my permission. The relationship they will have with their spouse is none of my business, and I don’t need to be filled in on all the details.

The scriptures tell us that the coming of the Son of Man will be “as a thief in the night” (1 Thessalonians 5:2). This phrase makes reference to ancient Jewish wedding traditions. It was the tradition for the groom to come in the night and pretend to steal the bride while her father wasn’t looking. This tradition intrigues me. The bride’s father would obviously be fully aware of what was happening, but it was customary for him to play along and pretend to be ignorant. No permission was needed, because the mohar had already been paid and the marriage contract had already been signed.

In our case, the mohar has already been paid. It was paid when Jesus was crucified. It was paid when Joseph Smith was martyred. The marriage contract has already been signed. We have all that information in our scriptures. The only thing left to do is steal the bride, and we don’t need to ask permission.

In Eden, the Father presented an incomplete and somewhat deceptive picture to Eve. She had to get the rest of the story from Lucifer, who informed her that partaking of the fruit would help her learn about opposites. This was true. But unfortunately, the adversary mixes truth with falsehood. He lies about the consequences of sin. So we see that in order to get the full picture, we have to discern truth from two separate sources and connect the pieces together. It’s a lot of work! Understand that the Father in this case represents knowledge that comes from the external world. Adam is reason, Eve is intuition, and Lucifer is the subconscious mind.

When we go to church, read our scriptures, and listen to the words of modern prophets, that does not give us the full picture. There is another half of the equation, but that can only be accessed by entering the shadow. This is a treacherous realm of fears, jealousies, pent-up frustrations, violent urges, animalistic instincts, and forbidden desires. It can be unnerving to peer into our own shadow, but the shadow tells the truth, and the truth will set us free. Still, it is important to be discerning, because the demons inside only show you what they want you to see.

I was reading the account of Korihor in the Book of Mormon recently. This spooked me, because when I thought about his teachings and the words that he used, I recognized, at a spiritual level, what Korihor had learned from Satan. I know what it is that Korihor was taught, because the same understanding has come to me.

And thus he did preach unto them, leading away the hearts of many, causing them to lift up their heads in their wickedness, yea, leading away many women, and also men, to commit whoredoms—telling them that when a man was dead, that was the end thereof. (Alma 30:18)

Fortunately, I can also recognize the deception. Satan puts emphasis on benefits while obscuring the part about responsibility. This is why he cannot tolerate the doctrine of Christ. He (the subconscious) understands that doctrine better than we do. He knows that it’s not as pleasant as we make it out to be.

Despite the dangers, there are a couple reasons why entering the shadow is worth the risk. First, Satan did not pass through the veil. He remembers what happened before we came to this world. This is knowledge that we generally don’t get from external sources. And secondly, it is the shadow that connects us. When you and I go into the shadow, we are not going to different places. We are entering a realm of shared consciousness. It is a world of pure imagination and limitless possibilities. When I bring you into my mind, a feeling of inescapable destiny pulls us together. Since you have followed me here, we are already very intimate.

A House Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand

In my previous post, I said that plural marriage will be practiced during the Millennium. I want to further discuss the spiritual meaning and purpose of this. Let me be very clear: I am not advocating for the practice of polygamy, and I do not associate with fundamentalist groups. I fully sustain the current leaders of the Church. Please do not misinterpret my words. My purpose in discussing this topic is merely to identify the underlying spirit of the practice, which has many applications.

Plural marriage has everything to do with the shadow. It’s not that complicated when you think about it. As I wrote previously, life inevitably produces tension, and the tension that builds up inside of us will be released, one way or another. It’s not a question of if, but when and how. The difference between civilized and uncivilized is the difference between controlled and uncontrolled release.

There are demons inside all of us, and most of the time they don’t bother us because they feel comfortable. But when confronted with truth, they seize control. Because of this, we must be proactive in dealing with them. Suppressing them will only make them stronger. This is a struggle that we simply cannot win, because the demons will overpower us. There is only one of you, but they are Legion. They must be released in a deliberate, controlled way.

The Nephites thought they were righteous. They thought their hatred of the Lamanites was justified. But in the end, the demons took control. Mormon, writing to his son Moroni, documented unspeakable crimes (see Moroni 9). The Nephites raped, tortured, and murdered Lamanite women, and afterwards they ate the flesh. If you don’t think you are capable of this kind of depravity, you have not become acquainted with your shadow.

Joseph Smith was very close to the Spirit. He faced persecution and stressful situations. This combination made him extremely vulnerable. When he was commanded to practice plural marriage, he resisted at first. After some time, however, the destroying angel showed up. This angel, which carried a drawn sword, appeared three times between 1834 and 1842, warning Joseph that he would be slain if he did not comply. Had he chosen to not obey, he would have been guilty of the unpardonable sin.

What criteria did Joseph use when choosing his wives? It’s not that hard to figure out. He married women that he was attracted to. He went to them because they fulfilled his deepest, darkest desires. Instead of becoming a slave to his urges, he maintained control. Thus, by building up a network of facilitators, it became possible to turn something that would otherwise be bad into something wonderful.

Intimacy within marriage provides a safe, contained environment in which we can give release to animalistic urges. We have all lived many lives. Over the course of countless worlds, we have evolved. There is a part of us that remembers when we were wild animals. That part is always with us. Some parts of us want to be a predator. Other parts remember being the prey. Intimacy allows us to safely act out the predator-prey relationship. If we do not acknowledge our primitive instincts, we are not being honest with ourselves, and self-deception is a serious danger.

In safety-critical situations such as aviation, it is necessary to have multiple layers of protection. We need this kind of redundancy to protect us spiritually. When we choose a spouse, this solves one problem but creates a new one. Dating is like playing whack-a-mole. As soon as we choose a path, the road not taken suddenly seems very appealing. Remember that demons are unfulfilled desires.

Let us suppose, hypothetically, that the prophet asked you to practice plural marriage. I know how you would feel, because the shadow unites us. Our personalities may be different, but deep down, we are the same. The idea of multiple spouses sparks two contradictory reactions. The first reaction you would have is that you would be intrigued. There is something devilishly tantalizing about the idea. Imagine the possibilities! But there is also a downside. What if your current spouse married someone else? They would start making comparisons, and they might prefer the other person over you. That doesn’t seem so appealing. You can see why it’s easier to sweep such thoughts under the rug.

The devil inside wants the freedom to make comparisons without being compared. When men can have multiple wives, but women cannot have multiple husbands, this creates an imbalance. If you read D&C 132 carefully, you can see that it is meant to be deceptive. Refer to what I wrote in my previous post about authority. Emma Smith was commanded to cleave unto Joseph and none else. This was a test to see if she would accept the reality that was presented to her. Had she turned directly to God, she would have been invited to take multiple husbands, and Joseph would have been obligated to comply.

It may be hard to believe, but marriage is essentially a trade agreement. We agree to meet each other’s needs. Happiness can only come when we acknowledge the self. If husband and wife live for the other and have no sense of self, they will both be unhappy. We can’t love others unless we love ourselves. True happiness comes when we learn to acknowledge and share what is actually in our hearts, not what we think is supposed to be there.

When two people fall in love, each of them meets a portion of the other one’s needs. Because of scarcity, one cannot be everything that the other desires. If both husband and wife are honest with each other (which is difficult), they will eventually realize that the person they care about needs something that they themselves cannot provide. Charity is self-sacrificing. If we truly want to give our spouse everything, we must give them not something but someone else. This is what Sarah did for Abraham. When she discovered that she couldn’t have children, she gave her husband Hagar.

Can you see where this is heading? The ideal is for all of us to do this for each other. In this way, everyone’s needs can be met. The principle is that bad things become good when they are done with consent. We do not need permission, but things work out much better if there is permission. Emma had a hard time with polygamy because she didn’t understand it. If she had asked the right questions and read between the lines, she would have realized that she didn’t need to submit to injustice. She didn’t need to suppress her frustration, because she had all the authority that she needed. She could have found happiness beyond her wildest dreams, but those dreams went unrealized. There is no bitterness worse than the bitterness of wondering what might have been.

So whenever plural marriage is reestablished, it won’t be an awkward duty like home teaching. It won’t be like, “Okay, let’s get this over with.” We will understand that true intimacy happens when we tease out the inner demons. We first make each other comfortable by swearing secrecy, and then we invite each other to share our deepest, darkest, secrets. This has to be done proactively. It doesn’t matter how awful the desire is. The important thing is that we acknowledge it, first to ourselves and then to others. Confession is not a necessary evil; it is the object and design of our existence.

But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. (1 Corinthians 2:9)

If it is possible to accommodate the desire without harming others, then we are not only permitted but obligated to do so. For this reason, I feel confident that homosexual relations will be permitted during the Millennium. Nothing is off limits as long as it’s consensual. You might be surprised at how accommodating God can be. Remember, we are God, so it’s whatever we decide.

What if your particular fetish is murdering people and chopping them up? It might seem as if that desire cannot be satisfied without harming others. But Christ is not only our redeemer; he is the appointed goel hadam (“avenger of blood”). The right of vengeance belongs to him and him alone, but he often delegates that authority to others. When Nephi was asked to kill Laban, there is no doubt that that killing was justified. Laban was worthy of death. First, Nephi and his brothers asked nicely. Then they made efforts to be accommodating of Laban’s lust for riches. After that, Nephi destroyed him. I feel quite confident that when Nephi swung that blade with all his might, he liked it, because there’s nothing more satisfying than chopping off heads.

God’s plan is miraculous. He sometimes asks us to do things that seem wrong. He might tell us to commit whoredoms, but then he turns the whoredoms into sanctioned marriages. He might tell us to commit murder, but then he turns murder into justified execution. No matter what it is—if he asks us to do it and we comply, he will make it right. Remember, he is God. Nothing is impossible. He will bend the very fabric of space and time if necessary.

It’s Time for You to Make Your Choice

You may think that you and I are talking about something right now—that we are exploring a hypothetical. But the truth is that the things we are talking about are actually happening, and you are participating. You are not just thinking about what choice you would make if you were placed in a certain situation; you are actually making that choice.

You see, in God’s eyes, there is no difference between thinking about doing something and actually doing it. If you can imagine it, then it happened. Jesus said that when a man looks upon a woman to lust after her, he has already committed adultery in his heart. I must confess: I have committed adultery many, many times. That doesn’t take away from the love that I have for my wife.

Sinful thoughts are only sinful when they are concealed. The thoughts themselves are not sinful. We sin when we lie to ourselves. Our desires feel sinful because we haven’t figured out what to do with them. Out of consideration for others, we shouldn’t blurt out every thought and feeling that we have. We should delay judgment, because delaying pleasure makes that pleasure more meaningful. But we do have a human need to confess our innermost desires. If we love each other, we should help each other feel safe enough to do so.

The most exquisite sweetness comes when we bring these things into the open. Deep down, we want to be naked and exposed. We are just waiting for permission. No one wants to be the first one to take off their clothes. We are afraid and insecure, and so we hide behind our power and priesthoods. We lie to ourselves and make up reasons why we can’t just say what we are thinking.

We are in a crowd, walking past each other, and the sound of silence is deafening. All of us can sense that something is wrong. We are unhappy, and nothing we do seems to help. We slow down to rest. We stop, look up, and start glancing around at each other. Still, there is silence. Someone has to say it out loud, so let me be the one to do it.

Let me remind you of the promises that we made. In holy temples, we swore on our lives that we would keep intimacy within the covenant. We agreed that we would only marry each other, and that we would keep the secret to ourselves. In addition, we promised that we would withhold nothing—that we would willingly surrender all that may be asked of us, including our time, talents, resources, hearts, minds, bodies, and even our lives if necessary. In other words, we promised to fulfill each other’s needs and desires to the maximum possible extent. We broke our promises. Those promises were sacred marriage vows. It’s time for us to forgive each other and form the circle again.

Can we finally set aside all the signs, symbols, rules, stories, and coded language? Can we stop hiding behind dogma? Can we get up the courage to say what we really want? There is no religion; there is only us. The mysteries of God are the mysteries of human relationships.

Come with me again. I want to take you back to those awkward days when we were teenagers. You are at a church dance. You are having fun, hanging out, with no worries. All of a sudden, a slow, romantic song starts playing. Everyone stops what they are doing and starts looking around the room. The time has come to choose a dance partner. Who will you choose?

The safe approach is to think about the problem rationally. You could approach your top choice, but there is likely to be a lot of competition. Plus, that person might not be interested in you. You could go with the person who is closest to you, but that doesn’t seem selective enough. So instead, you try to find someone in the middle of your ranking who is not much better or worse than you. As you scan the room, you are making comparisons and calculations in your head, and this is taking way too long. Meanwhile, someone who doesn’t thrill you has asked you for a dance, and you feel obligated to say yes.

Let’s try this again. Let me explain how things work in God’s kingdom. You should always go with your first choice. Always. If that person is not interested in you, the law of Sarah obligates them to find someone else who can fully satisfy your needs. If, on the other hand, your interest is reciprocated, but someone else is also interested in that person, this is not a problem, because in heaven, scarcity does not apply. So as long as you are honest with yourself, you have made the right choice and you will be happy.

There is an overwhelming difference between who we are now and who we have the potential to become. We look up at the stars and feel small. With Nephi, we exclaim, “O wretched man that I am.” That gap can be exquisitely painful, but we need to learn to lean into it. We must fully apply the dialectic of acceptance and change. If we embrace the pain, we also get the pleasure. But if we shy away from the pain, we get only emptiness and loneliness. We have to get comfortable with marrying people who are better than us. This is the only way to evolve. When we honestly express our desires, we instantly become more attractive to the objects of our interest, and when we make small efforts to change, we become even more attractive.

Because the shadow unites us, I know what you are thinking. You are intrigued, but you still feel uneasy. How would something like this get started? Would it have to be done in secret at first?

Remember that things are sinful when they are kept in the shadows. They become unsinful when they are brought out into the open. We don’t have to complicate things; we just have to think in terms of human relationships. In a dating situation, which is what we are in, you don’t want to come on too strong. It’s better to ease in. Draw near unto me, and I will draw near unto you. Do you see what is happening? It is a collective realization—a slow waking up period. When will the Second Coming happen? It will happen when you and I decide that we want to be together. So don’t worry. When the time comes, you’ll know what to do. Just go with the flow. Keep things natural and normal.

This is how the process must unfold: first thoughts, then words, then actions. Think about it, then talk about it with people you trust, and then, when it feels right, act on it. We can begin now by simply thinking about who we would like to be with in the Millennium. Not too difficult, right? This is the great thing about God’s plan. We get to choose our family members! Of course they have to choose us too.

My selection criteria are very simple. If you can accept this message, you are my friend. If you cannot accept this message, I want nothing to do with you. If you are undecided, then I am undecided. This applies to everyone, no exceptions. What I have shared is not my message; I am merely the messenger. I honestly did not know that I would be writing this until a few days ago. For years, I have been taking things one step at a time, not knowing where God was leading me. So I was beyond startled when the insight came. It feels like someone else wrote this, and I’m still kind of in shock.

To those who accept: we cannot broadcast our interest widely. There are many people who will not be able to withstand this message. We have to be like a spy agency. Test others first to see how they respond. But don’t worry too much about trying to be secretive. All you have to do is share what is in your heart—slowly, consistently, and deliberately. It’s just like missionary work. Learn to be honest. Remember that whenever you have a feeling toward someone, whether positive or negative, sooner or later you will need to confront it and do something about it.

We don’t have to be ashamed for wanting something. We’re not doing anything wrong. We’re not forcing anyone to believe something that contradicts the doctrines of the Church. We’re just entertaining an idea at this point. Of course, you and I know the truth. By thinking about it, we are actually doing it. We can keep that between us.