Just two days after he was dropped from Saturday Night Live for using racist and homophobic slurs, Shane Gillis has returned to the stage for the first time. Variety reports that on Wednesday night, Gillis performed an 11-minute set at the Stand comedy club in New York City that directly addressed his firing, as well as “cancel culture” and the problem with social media. The comic reportedly said that the entire controversy has been “not a fun feeling,” particularly “when you never get to say your side at all.” In a direct reference to the comments that got him axed, Gillis added, “Being racist isn’t a yes or no thing. It’s not like you have it or you don’t have it.”

According to Variety’s Briana Rodriguez, Gillis was quick to address the controversy during his set. “Everybody’s been like, you can’t say sh-t and not expect consequences,” he said, referencing racist and homophobic remarks made on his podcast, Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast. “I’m fine with the consequences. I’m not arguing. F-ck it. But I do want everyone to know that I’ve been reading every one of my death threats in an Asian accent.” In the first problematic video that resurfaced, a clip from a September 2018 episode, Gillis uses an Asian slur while speaking about Chinatown. The clip went viral on Twitter, and before long, journalists uncovered that Gillis has repeatedly used racist language on his podcast.

“It’s been weird. Twitter has been f-cking nuts,” Gillis reportedly said on Wednesday night. “You try to stay off it when the whole f-cking country hates you. That’s not a fun feeling as a human. Especially when you never get to say your side at all.” He went on to describe the scrutiny that comes with “cancel culture” as “stressful” before reflecting on his background as a Philadelphia native. “I don’t know if you can tell, I’m white trash,” said Gillis. “I’m from a sh-t hole and then I moved to the city and now all my friends are woke … I’ll get online and the first status will be someone from back home like, ‘F-cking Colin Kaepernick better stand up. Like this status if you love the troops and God. Share it if you’re not gay.’ Next status is one of my new woke friends like, ‘I’m not racist.'”

“It’s funny to hear so many people these days be like, ‘I’m not racist,'” Gillis continued. “Are you sure? Being racist isn’t a yes or no thing. It’s not like you have it or you don’t have it.” Rodriguez reports that he then compared being racist to “being hungry.” Said the comic, “You’re not right now but a cheeseburger could cut you off in traffic and you could get hungry real quick. You didn’t even know you were hungry for that type of cheeseburger. The cheeseburger’s not Asian in that joke.”

Towards the end of his set, Gillis again returned to the topic of race. “It’s uncomfortable to talk about all this stuff about race,” he said. “But like, I feel like I’m the right guy to do the job. I think I look the part.”

Gillis’ SNL casting was first announced last Thursday afternoon (Bowen Yang and Chloe Fineman were also named featured players for Season 45). Just a few hours later, videos resurfaced of him using racist, homophobic, and misogynistic language, and after a few days of controversy, SNL officially dropped Gillis on Monday. “We were not aware of his prior remarks that have surfaced over the past few days,” said a statement released on behalf of boss Lorne Michaels. “We are sorry that we did not see these clips earlier, and that our vetting process was not up to our standard.”

Michaels’ decision to fire Gillis was praised by many stars, including Sandra Oh, who hosted SNL in March. “Glad 2 see @nbcsnl decision NOT to legitimize/give platform 2 purveyors of racist homophobic content,” she tweeted on Tuesday. “A tad late/vetting? But glad to see.”

Saturday Night Live begins its new season on September 28 with host Woody Harrelson and musical guest Billie Eilish.

Where to stream Saturday Night Live