Through all the development hell, the nonsensical trailers and the negative buzz, further enhanced by the worrisome news that it's only 90 minutes long, fans of Stephen King's landmark fantasy epic The Dark Tower were still vaguely hopeful that the cinematic adaptation of the series, which stars Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey, might not be a total disaster. Alas, water is wet, the sky is blue, and The Dark Tower is a trainwreck.

Behind-the-scenes sources had said just as much earlier this week in a report for Variety, with claims that Universal Studios were so concerned by a rough cut of the film that they considered firing director Nikolaj Arcel to re-cut it themselves. Test screenings also proved disastrous, leading to $6 million being spent on reshoots, while clashing visions from both Universal and studio partner Media Rights Capital meant that little compromise could be reached when it came to both the film itself and its promotional materials.