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Many across Wales and beyond are still struggling to come to terms with the tragic early death of national coach Gary Speed. Phil Stead, creator of the Ffwtbol blog, winner of Best Blog, Best Sports Blog and the People’s Choice Award at this year’s Wales Blog Awards, writes about his feelings as a passionate Wales fan

I STARED in disbelief at the news. That simple four-word sentence on the screen made my head spin and my stomach churn.

I felt the same gut-wrenching, end-of-world emotions I had experienced when Mikey Dye’s death was relayed on that dark Wembley night in October. The heart-sinking feeling took me back to that sickening night in 1993 when news filtered through the despondent, post-Romania, Cardiff pubs that John Hill had been killed by a flare.

I’ve been through denial, anger, bargaining and depression, but even now, a week later, I'm yet to reach the fifth stage of grief. I just can’t accept that Gary Speed is dead.

Our manager’s death has touched the British football public in a way that hasn’t been seen since the death of Bobby Moore; and never has a Welsh sportsman been so widely mourned.

The striking thing about the display of grief following Gary Speed’s death was its diversity. Not only was he being honoured at the northern club sides he represented so honourably, but there were tributes at other clubs too. Makeshift shrines sprang up spontaneously across the UK; at Bolton, Sheffield, Everton, and Newcastle; at Cardiff, Wrexham, and of course, at Elland Road, where the footballer Gary Speed first blossomed.

Swansea City took an early opportunity to pay its respects when they hosted Aston Villa just hours after that FAW announcement. I was amongst those who felt that game should have been postponed, but we were wrong. It began with a breathtaking minutes silence which soon developed into heartfelt applause, while Shay Given wept openly in memory of his friend.

That Sunday was awful. People appeared online to register their shock, but then disappeared. Nobody was discussing events or speculating, they were just gutted. A day later, memories began to be shared. So many people had a story to tell.

Dozens of unseen photographs began to emerge of the smiling, handsome leader in patient pose with a beaming admirer.

When football fixtures recommenced the fans took their own opportunities to pay respect. Leeds’ sellout away following planned to chant their former number 11’s name from the 11th minute of their fixture at Nottingham Forest, but like Swansea, they couldn't help themselves and the vocal tributes began well before kick-off. Forest fans even applauded their opponents.

Then when a tearful Craig Bellamy was substituted at Stamford Bridge, Liverpool fans chanted the name of his lost mentor, a proud Evertonian.

Cardiff fans wore Welsh colours and began their chants in the 85th minute, as Speed had represented his country 85 times. The ubiquitous, unaffiliated respect for Gary Speed is unique in a modern era.

In the following days we shared the emotions of those people who counted him as a friend. Robbie Savage’s tearful broadcast on 606 was heartbreaking, and colleagues such as Mark Bowen, Howard Wilkinson and Gary McAllister were evidently grief-stricken.

Bryn Law simply broke down live on Sky Sports, while Sgorio’s numbed tribute felt harrowing and intrusive as we bore voyeuristic witness to the emotional disintegration of Malcolm Allen and John Hartson.

There are more fan tributes planned for matches all across the UK today. Newcastle supporters will sing Cwm Rhondda, while nationwide campaign group called Scarves for Speed is asking for all fans to chant his name at 11.03. This unprecedented widespread display of affection has obviously offered a morsel of comfort to Speed’s family, and his wife Louise will be attending a tribute at Elland Road.

Everybody in football is mourning and we’re taking comfort from each other. Gary Speed’s death has undoubtedly brought us closer, for a while at least; it’s just so sad that it takes a tragedy to make Welsh football fans forget their rivalries.

From Ynys Mon to Gwent, we’ve shared so much grief recently that it has blurred our differences and shone a revealing light on our similarities.

We’re not so different after all. We all wept when Gary Speed died.

Phil Stead blogs at ffwtbol.co.uk