

The Church of Euthanasia

man's subliminal god by hermies purrbuckets contents introduction man is a disease woman is a paradox child is the victim the beast anxiety mysticism paranoia food self-loathing society technology culture murder intelligence economy addiction sex hell suicide man's subliminal god



bibiliography introduction "The tragedy, the true catastrophe, is that humanity continues..."

-Louis Wolfson Somewhere along the line, man got the notion that he, and his life, were essentially positive manifestations of phenomena. Perhaps faced with the elemental void of death, primitive man turned to his immediate experience and clung to it for dear life. Perhaps, in lieu of any abiding reason or causality, man simply felt himself justified to "be." With the inevitable momentum of procreation, each subsequent generation was coddled or bludgeoned into adapting the affirmative stance of their ancestors. Man, even primitive man, has tended to take life for granted. Death was the unnatural thing, the result of malice or mistake, the after-message of the gods, or, in the Christian world, the result of the Fall from the garden... [21] Scientific man now sees that death is the most natural thing in the world, the omega to life's alpha and a necessary precursor to further life. He compulsively examines the inherent biological customs of innumerable flora and fauna, and chronicles in rapt fascination his own, dreary natural cycles. Curiously, though, as man's season becomes more problematic, stalked from within and without by environmental decay and psychological breakdown, he rarely considers his own death as a viable alternative to an existence devoid of meaning or rescue. Contrarily, man seems obsessed with clinging to life at all costs, greedily devouring all resources within reach and pumping out as many clones of himself as possible. He seems determined to affirm his life in a vehement act of self-sabotage, creating in the process a habitat of truly avernal proportions. Some, however, have seen the runaway essence of the whole damn thing: You are among the many passengers of a large bus careening wildly down a twisted mountain road. The bus is being driven by a drunk who is half blind. He and those near the front are also suffering from some sort of intoxication from gaseous emissions. They are also drinking. It is night; not even the moon is out to provide lighting. The main lights of the bus are broken from near-brushes with the steadily deteriorating old guardrails that are the only thing between the bus and a 2500 foot plunge off a sheer face cliff. [18] This allegory illuminates the predicament an enlightened creature encounters when waking one day to find himself woefully alive. Its author, a suicide, sees that the true remedy to this hapless traveler's woes is the one thing that is taboo: You want to stop the bus and get out, but you cannot. To no one else has it occurred to stop the bus. And it seems that those in favor of speeding up the bus are gaining the upper hand... [18] Indeed, not only is death ignored as the way out, but man makes the very thought of it a crime, substituting instead a barrage of neurotic, insular and wholly insupportable life affirmations. 1

man is a disease "Human life must be some form of mistake."

-Arthur Schopenhauer Man is a disease. As Schopenhauer once declared, man's existence must be a mistake. He is a germ who thinks himself a king. To any problem, there is only one cause: man, and only one cure: annihilation. That this truth is ignored, mocked and despised is staunch proof of its character. The simple and pure answer to all man's ills is too great for the living coward to ponder, so he hides in hovels of shit and waits for the reaper to take him away after all. How pathetic the sight of a person clinging to life, how laughable the arrogance of the being who brays to the heavens that he is actually glad to be alive! CONTROL When one looks at this piteous parade of crazed cuckoos, one instantly thinks of the word "control." What avernal force keeps these retarded vermin from crashing into, or killing each other off? The evil elite's control of the mass is highly effective, largely invisible, always a source of vainglory for the purveyors of pain and a scourge to the moral sheep-dip writhing in torment below. For one to deny this world view as paranoid proves only that the denier is an oblivious dolt and his opinion hopelessly naive. There is no way to prove that the secret workings of the power-mad are not what the lunatic fringe posits them to be. LIVING IN HELL For the enlightened one, who sees life as the torture that it is, overcoming inertia, loneliness and isolation on this heartless plane is a tall order, ultimately unsuccessful but a challenging struggle nonetheless. Living in a toxic environment tends to undermine any will to be healthy, creative or constructive. For the visionary meek, the tasks of finding someone to care for and the opportunity to care, being accepted by an idiotic population becomes, by definition, problematic. We will see that the miseries suffered the unique are based on a false premise, but the need to feel worthy and loved is natural nonetheless. WOLF AND SHEEP It is said that in this sad, mad world, there are only two kinds of people: those who hurt others and those who suffer. This infantile wolf/sheep philosophy is certainly insulting to the sheep, who by implication are urged to accept this cruel dynamic as some sort of "natural law," both inevitable and essential. It appears, however, that this maxim is not only noxious, but untrue. If there are only two basic manifestations of the disease called man, then it must be rewritten that there are those who hurt others, and those who hurt themselves. Those who are hurt accept the hurt by remaining alive. The pained one, contrary to popular myth, does not have to accept suffering from others. He can either fight back or leave. Since fighting back is problematic for timid souls, escape from the tormentor's lair would seem to be the sane decision. As the vast majority of humanity are mean, belligerent ignoramuses, the enlightened soul would be well-advised to give up the ghost and get out. Unfortunately, most don't see this option, or deny it in favor of more moaning and gnashing, masquerading under the cloak of "a purposeful life." 2

woman is a paradox "Don't feed males. Don't breed males."

-Andrea Dworkin Woman is a paradox. She is the obvious better of her male correlate in everything: intelligence, compassion, longevity, creativity. This is made all the more evident by the brutal, fear-filled persecution and subjugation of woman throughout history by the paranoid, terrified male. Man fears woman because she is the magician of procreation, and by extension, holds the key to his own existence. One might think this would persuade man to adore and worship woman. It seems, however, to evoke more curious reactions: degradation, rape and murder. On the other hand, woman is a traitor to the truth because she is breeder of the disease called man, the bringer of innocent life into this criminal world. What would make informed creatures ignore the data and perpetuate the affliction of life? It seems clear from the testaments of advised female thinkers that the enduring identification of woman with the mythos of breeder is primarily a male creation, promoted for inadvisable self-perpetuation. Sadly, man has successfully brainwashed the majority of womankind into believing that their identity and worth is tied up solely in this barbaric, negative act. The ability to bring forth life is the one act that man cannot perform, the one power he covets more than anything else. Obsessed with his own reproduction, he forces this deadly job on the woman, to the exclusion of all her invaluable talents. Woman's myriad aptitudes, including unequaled capacity for government, business and art, remain sad potentialities for the majority throughout their lives. It is disheartening in these days of reputed female emancipation, to see how many young, bright women succumb to the knee-jerk malady of childbirth, thusly abdicating responsibility for a life abused, unfocused, thrown away. BIRTH CONTROL If a woman cannot remove herself from the race voluntarily, and will not refrain from dangerous procreative activities, (an absurd request in the present atmosphere of metaphysical decay), then conscious, political birth control, in the form of tubal ligation, is essential. The woman can then express her sexuality without fear of accident or subterfuge, knowing that amongst her crimes on this planet will not be replication of the pig she melded with. ABORTION Regarding abortion: man should kill himself. In lieu of that, he should kill his children. In lieu of that, he should refrain from all sexual intercourse. In lieu of that, he should stubbornly refuse to perpetuate this sorry race of goons, by practicing permanent birth control in the form of vasectomy. If all of these roads have been abandoned, and one is left with the hideous beast growing in womb, the only sane measure left is to immediately eradicate it from the uninviting face of the earth. To those who opt for adoption, crying, "If you don't want your child, we do!" one must quickly retort, "By what plea of insanity, having forsaken the sorry role of parent to this misbegotten, would I entrust its cursed existence to a gaggle of demented christian hoods? I'd rather feed my newborn directly to ravenous lions than expose it to the lunatic hypocrisy of you foul goons!" 3

child is the victim "They all disowned their parents long ago, the way you are supposed to."

-Margaret Atwood Parents are by definition criminals, saddling the punishment of being on unsullied souls. Parents are also murderers of their own offspring since it was their haughty act that condemned each charge to the terrifying sentence of death. Therefore, all children have the right and obligation to murder their forbearers, though few have the courage and insight to take on the task. There is much more than an infantile "eye for an eye" dynamic at work here; it is much more subtle. Children, having suffered existence, earn the opportunity to relieve their tormentors of life. Each fool who idiotically clings to life, and recklessly drags another victim into it unasked, has proven himself unworthy of further existence by the gravity of his carnal blunder. The child who is forced by brainwashing or cowardice to remain on the planet, should then certainly benefit from as much of the parent's resources as possible, be it financial, social, or emotional. Even something as simple as killing off one's parents can afford the survivor more air, food and water, and this possibility should not be ruled out. Magician/philosopher E.E. Rehmus expresses the crass arrogance of the parental mindset succinctly: Human life grows cheaper with every mewling, puking infant that is born. Any form of birth control, no matter how unjust or extreme, is preferable to that tyranny exercised so criminally now by those who, in their filth, stupidity, rut and obnoxious lust, blindly and selfishly birth endlessly forth their disgusting progeny in chaotic, cancerous growth, shoving and forcing the guilty in with the innocent in this already over-stuffed planetary rat-box of accelerating madness and asphyxation. [17] CATHARI Rehmus also reminds us of the Cathari, a 12th century religious sect who saw this world as hell, and condemned reproduction. The conspiratorial nature of man's self-perpetuation is stunningly revealed in historical cover-up: It is most curious that contemporary mention of this sect almost always ignores (their) insistence that human reproduction or procreation is the only unforgivable sin. Since this world is hell, to foist existence on innocent beings is a crime. [17] The Cathari were exterminated by the murderous, moronic Catholic church, vile promoters of man at all costs. CHILDHOOD From the moment an infant is tossed into this chamber of horrors, we can see, if we look closely, his horror and despair. The child cries incessantly, and is brutally trained to shut up and face its horrible fate. As the child grows into teenhood and reaches the age of reason, awareness (and anger) of his situation grows. It is usually countered by the criminal parents' inevitable distancing from the child, now declaring, "I owe you nothing. I cannot field your anger." The anger, of course, is a perfectly natural and healthy response to the awareness that one has been tricked in the most monstrous way. The rest of its life is spent maintaining as much distance as possible from the terror of life, through meaningless activity and numbing addictive substances. From the time a person leaves its mother's womb, its every effort is directed toward building, maintaining and withdrawing into artificial wombs, various sorts of substitute protective devices or shells. [11] Absurdity stacked upon absurdity, this creature, hiding from his own shadow, wanting more than anything to crawl back into the oblivion of the mother, is successfully duped into declaring that he loves life! FAMILY DYSFUNCTION Returning to the disgusting notion of the parent, observe how many dysfunctional scum have tried to bolster a rotten, doomed relationship by criminally invoking a tortured soul, thinking this sorry child could hide or heal its creators' fathomless defects. What actually transpires is that the child, in addition to inheriting the irredeemable psychic burden of life, also suffers the tormenting despair of the parents who, wallowing in their pitiful familial remorse, sense now that they are not only criminals, but abject failures as human beings. ZPG The most cursory glance at this runaway nightmare should lead even the least intelligent amongst men to passionately declare, "No more breeding! No more babies! No more people!" Alas, this is not the case. Man pumps out defective, cursed clones of himself in complete negation of sanity. Any mention of curtailing population, even in this era of sweeping social disintegration, is met with indignant stares and charges of genocide. This incredible disparity between the obvious and the accepted can lead to only one conclusion: Man is out of his fucking skull. 4

the beast "I felt a kind of forlorn sense of being lost in a world of incredibly stupid and malicious dwarfs."

-Aleister Crowley Schopenhauer called it "The Will to Live," that irrational, insatiable force that leads man to perpetual despair, constantly striving for and never achieving complete and permanent dominance over his environment. This will to live is, curiously, best expressed as well as extinguished by suicide, though Schopenhauer turned cowardly moral at this juncture, perhaps fearing popular outrage. The successful suicide is the most powerful, indeed the only valid, expression of total dominance over one's environment. By eradicating one's environment, one certainly conquers it. WAR OF WILLS Man's blissful self-delusions to the contrary, life amongst men has always been, and must always be, a terrifying war of wills between demented beasts. The early primitive struggles of killing to save one's self, and competing with other savages for food, shelter and safety has been insidiously transmuted into the less overt, but equally as life-threatening principles of economic competition, academic achievement, social popularity, and mental health. The man who cannot get a decent life for himself due to low intelligence, mental handicaps, economic deprivations, timidity, inability to maintain employment, social phobias, etc. is left to rot by those who have conquered these ills and gotten the goods that each poor victim of life needs and deserves. A decent, humane world would equally distribute the riches of man's labor and earth's abundance to all, regardless of wit or need, but the world is a pig and man's inventions are savage by definition. Capitalism is the law of the jungle functioning in extreme sublimity. If one can outsmart you and steal your money, possession or opportunity, he will, with society's blessing. If his success prompts your failure, this is well and good, and he is under no obligation to lessen his efforts or help you regardless of how badly you fail or how this threatens your livelihood or even existence. Through it all, you are both obliged to call it "good business" and shake hands at the end of the battle. This is cruel and insane, but just "natural" for man. The insane part is to call it acceptable. Life, as accepted by most, is merely a state of big fish-little fish, bullies and victims, the strong tormenting, exploiting and eventually devouring the weak. To prove this, ask any bully if he believes in this theory, and he will deny it angrily. All big fish feel justified in eating you, and no bully considers himself such. Al Capone felt himself a victim to the end of his life. This self-righteousness is part of man's inherent blindness. The terror of life convinces the strong that it is perfectly okay to rip the weak to shreds. Perhaps the cruelest part is the largely successful campaign to harass the weak into believing that this constant persecution is part of what makes a cogent civilization. DEFECTIVE Man is destructive because he is defective. He is spirit, pure and egoless, that has become trapped in a merciless gown of flesh by some metaphysical curse or boo-boo. Thus afflicted, man is an unbalanced, irreparable thing. The spirit cries for ascendancy and release, but the retarded, terrified ego wants nothing less than impossible, total control of its environment. Thus spirit and ego are mutually exclusive, in fact confrontational, having entirely different agenda. They war continually against the other, often in the guise of intellect versus emotion, diametrically opposed in their needs and positions, fueling a tendency towards outward destruction and internal disintegration. Man appears to be the first thing created that is consciously aware of himself, and thus of his inevitable demise. Upon registering this fact, he is struck immediately insane. His entire life is spent in a futile escape from the one true fact: he is doomed. DELUSIONS Even within man's grand delusion of life being a positive phenomenon, man's defective brain fills his stilted life with layer upon layer of sub-delusion. He refuses to see, to the end of his days, his personal and collective decline. He ignores his body's decay by increasing indulgence or grotesque attempts at hiding death with the mask of youth. As a race, he gleefully assaults his planet with the most perverted barrage of alchemical toxins and fails to see the connection when the food, water and air that supports him becomes irremediably diseased. His total ignorance of the resplendency of death leads to comical lifelong, planetwide attempts to forsake it. Thus he makes his playpen a pigpen, and increases his sorrows. Still he cannot see that he is his own tormentor, that humanity is its own crime! Yet there are signs that man seems to sense that the whole thing is a bad idea. Educators, for instance, are generally defensive, angry and paranoid, for they know at root that they are perpetuating an inferior product. So too with health-care "professionals," and most others in the service economy, who smile at the client but whisper, "Worm!" as they walk out the door. Everyone hates somebody, and most appear to hate many. The epidemic delusion that one's personal friends are the only "good" people, and everyone else is shit, reveals a partial truth. Everyone is shit. Man is shit. 5

anxiety "Human beings make death the great boogey."

-Alan Watts Chronic anxiety is the repression of the notion that one shouldn't be here. One should be dead. Death is the natural state and life is the intrusive misstep upon that state. Anxiety is a mephitic cartel of fear and guilt, unresolved except by death. The feeling that death, either voluntary or involuntary, lies at the doorstep of man's each future second, creates a terminally unsettling atmosphere for the loathsome creature, and whispers disturbing questions: "Should one impulsively embrace death, or systematically avoid it? How long can one ignore one's ultimate destiny? How long can one justify the hunger, greed and shame that perpetuate this sorry song? HATRED Anxiety surfaces in man when he senses how much other men hate him, their hatred being self-loathing projected. He realizes that, their individual death-wish suppressed, other men wish to kill him. Man sees nothing but death in another man's eyes, and realizes he would be murdered if at all possible. The frightened creature would embrace, not reject, this overture, if he saw what a blessing death would actually be! FEAR AND SHAME Man's activities with other men, their neurotic friendships, toxic bonds and conspiratorial groupings, are based on a fear reflex to befriend those who scare them. If another man is your buddy, maybe he won't rape or kill you. It is thus laughable to see groups of men together. They bray and cackle and posture strength, but signal their great cowardice by their choice of company. Man tries to shame his fellows into both productivity and passivity by asserting that modern life is a gift, an adventure, a "piece of cake," while granting that historical life was hard for the primitive man: When threatened by a wild animal, by fire or flood, primitive man felt terror and fled, driven by nature's most powerful instinct: the instinct for survival. When attacked by beast or man, he felt anger and fought to destroy his enemy. When blocked in the satisfaction of his hunger drive, sex drive, drive to dominate others and to keep from being dominated by others, he felt rage and fought to destroy the object or creature that stood in his way. [21] How sad that the author does not acknowledge that these primal appetites and reactions still function in modern man as well, twisted and sublimated into neurosis, psychosis and physical affliction, causing him untold emotional torment as he chases windmills and swings at ghosts in a ludicrous shadow play of primitive survival! DISTRACTION One of the most subversive effects of anxiety is that it makes creative and logical thinking harder for the already defective thinker. For man to assess his situation intelligently, he would need space to think, and a safe environment to do so. Man, at root not wanting he or his fellows to think clearly about his predicament, has always made sure that his cultural environment was one of distraction, compulsion, and stress, to keep him on a course of mass-think and goal-oriented competition. Society instills anxiety in its captives in many ways. Overpopulation leads to crowding and increased competition, thus promoting fear, anger and alienation. Conscious and subliminal messages from the incessant media maintain a fever pitch of psychic paranoia and confrontation. Creepy behavioral modification techniques, like promoting clothing that is too tight, create a feeling of claustrophobia that the wearer then projects onto the world and his mind, the net result being a reduction in his power and freedom over his surroundings. Food is primarily designed to evoke anxiety reactions, laced as it is with sugar, salt and fat, all leading to over-stimulation of the brain, high blood pressure, and a tendency towards bodily inertia. That these ingredients are also highly addictive leads to consumptive eating habits and the resultant general tendency towards mental paralysis. 6

mysticism "Creation myths are not about the origins of the world at all, but about the origins of patriarchy which has claimed itself as the world."

-Jane Caputi All mystical attempts at describing and harnessing life miss the mark entirely, for their general purpose is to affirm life, that is, find a system for staying in life, whereas exiting life is the only true revelation. Turning spiritually inward to escape the brutal face of reality is a cowardly, and ultimately unsuccessful act, but spiritual detachment from material reality can perform a desirable function. Through intense awareness of the numbing lethargy of existence, man can lessen his learned, neurotic attachment to it, and increase the self's emotional withdrawal from this plane in preparation for a voluntary denial of life. The meditator, if he is wise, will go beyond the infantile "contemplation of naval" antics of superficial gurus and see the profound nothing that life is, learning to not fear its eventual annihilation. Man, fearing the true bliss of death, attempts to placate himself with intricately woven, ludicrous "mysteries of life," such as gods, demons, saviors, reincarnation, karma, nirvana, transcendence, repentance, and soul pit-stops like heaven and hell. To entice fools into accepting this life sentence is dangerous folly, for not only are these myths wrong, they hinder the individual's sacred attempt to seek the truth within himself and discover the stunning, beautiful nature of the gift of death lain before him. The atheist declares that religion is vile superstition that has caused untold misery to its creator, man. Thus, the atheist is half-right: he sees the hideous lunacy of man's fabricated gods, but oddly, he still believes in man... RELIGION IS WRONG To see how wrong all religions and philosophies are, one need merely apply a simple two-question test. 1/ Are they life-affirming? If yes, then they deny the truth of death. 2/ Do they accept suicide, the sacred possession of one's own life, as a valid option for the enlightened? Certainly not. The enlightened one can and must immediately discard all religion and philosophy as evil inanity. All are conscript, deadly to the soul, fodder for the coward masses, pure poison for the individual. Banish them from your house if you seek truth! SPIRIT IS ETERNAL Man, as manifest on earth, is shit, but his spirit is pure, eternal. The spirit is trapped in the body, imprisoned in hell. The spirit fears leaving the body, though it would be infinitely better back in the primordial void. The closer man gets to some kind of perceived success in this life, the more traumatized his spirit. Most men seek success in the blind eyes of their deluded peers. Thus, most men have crippled spirits. What meditation on death reveals is that failure on the physical plane is the doorway to eternal release. Failure in life is the spirit's great victory. A conscious and visible deterioration is purer than all the vain competition amongst the idiot masses, who rot anyway but refuse to admit it. THE BUM IS GOD The bum on the street is the closest thing man has to a god, a shining example of his ultimate truth, and this is why he is hated and mocked. The "failed" man represents the specter of death physically manifest, man's immutable destiny walking amongst men, and man's simultaneous pity and revulsion merely illuminates the complete misunderstanding of his spiritual objective. Man's purpose on earth is to leave it, to realize his spirit demands immediate release. Hell awaits all men who refuse this vital truth. Thus, hell awaits virtually every man. 7

paranoia "Death is not an evil."

-Epicurus Who can trust anyone, knowing full well that the loathsome thoughts which lurk in one's own mind must also dwell in others, that evil punctuates man's every move on earth? Paranoia is a natural state of perception, as it acknowledges the potential negative truth about the universe. It is another subliminal manifestation of the specter of death, an inappropriate, neurotic attempt to repress that awareness. Behind the mask of paranoia, as behind all neurosis, lies the face of death, hiding but always watching, guiding perception through strange mental filters. Paranoia declares that the end result of all eventuality is death. Neurosis begins with the desire to suppress that fact. Man's problems accrue with the inability to balance theoretical scenarios with their objective plausibilities. Mental health and successful functioning lie in knowing the difference between what others can do to you and what they probably will. Paranoia whispers that each of us, in our darkest moment, is rotten, because we see the rottenness in ourselves and our actions. It suggests that each of us at core feels utterly powerless against the beasts surrounding us. Paranoia projects how we really feel about others; how we wish harm or death on those we love; how we cheat, lie and plot. It also suggests the negative potential of any situation. Your next-door neighbor could in fact be a CIA agent hired to spy on you; somebody's is. People have plotted and murdered innocent strangers throughout history. You could be next. The challenge with paranoia is to avoid untoward obsession on negative potentiality. It causes grief and paralysis in those afflicted with this heightened state of awareness. It is essential one believe they will survive any conspiracy directed at them; even better, knowing death to be an aim not a calamity, if one doesn't care. CREATIVE PARANOIA Steven Starker called paranoia "the opposite of creative thinking," whereas it is the epitome of creative thinking, the moreso as it tends not to be life-affirming or comforting, taking to its logical conclusion the negative potential of a situation. The psychological benefits of paranoia are many. A successful trial with paranoia reveals how fragile that delusion called "reality" actually is, how thin the line between consensus reality and one's personal flights of fancy, and in the long run, how insignificant that difference. The successful paranoid learns not to rationalize or repress his fears, which would be like bailing out an endless flood, but to function fully with those fears, with the notion that reality may be the thing he believes, or something wholly different. MADNESS Paranoia's demand for psychological flexibility leads many to madness, for man's defective mind by nature cries for rigid structure. Nothing is what is appears to be, especially man's errant view of himself. To see this without psychic collapse is a profound challenge. Madness, however, traps many souls into that alternate reality which neither seeks death nor accepts it, and sadly, the insane are invariably dependent on abusive, ill-advised caretakers to perpetuate and enhance their sorry state. Accepting all reality, including death, as valid and positive, is the only cure for madness, save for death itself. 8

food "Eating is a process of possession, incorporating a part of the world into yourself."

-Don Gerrard The conspiracy of man against the individual rears its ugly head in the vicious machinations of the food-manufacturing and distribution conglomerates. The goal of corporate food-mongers is to horde earth's edible resources, killing it, processing it so that all nutrition is gone, and adding addictive substances to make its ingestion more a sensory than a sustenance experience. The resultant crap is then sold to the individual en masse at ludicrously inflated prices, with packaging and advertising proclaiming it to be a healthy product, when it is in fact lifeless garbage. It is disturbing that so many actually believe in the nutritional validity of something as paradoxical, say, as a "fat-free" donut. CARNIVORE MYTH A widely perpetuated and accepted myth is that man is a carnivore and needs meat to live. This is absurd and demonstrably untrue, merely another proof that the virulent, homicidal germ self-named man needs to torture and devour any living creature he can lay hands on: It is obvious that our natural instincts are non-carnivorous. Most people have other people kill their meat for them and would be sickened if they had to do the killing themselves. Instead of eating raw meat as all flesh-eating animals do, humans boil, bake or fry it and disguise it with all kinds of sauces and spices so that it bears no resemblance to its raw state. [16] FOOD FIX Man's foodstuffs are designed with addiction in mind. His inability to function intelligently can be seen in the infantile, insurmountable addiction to edibles. Rather than change faulty, life-threatening eating habits by avoiding the offending substance, man, purveyor to his own despair, spends enormous time and energy promoting synthetic imitations of the coveted contraband. Consider the sad addict who eats organic, overpriced sesame chips because he was never able to conquer his craving for greasy potato chips, or the poor fool whose disgusting love of bacon leads him to eat laughably tasteless, chemically dangerous parodies of the execrable strips of slain pork fat. Having never been able to remove the addiction, man is prone to absurd and foolhardy surrogates of the cherished object of addiction. Likewise, food staples are often not what they appear to be. Carbohydrates, touted as the givers of energy, are addictive in quality and inflame man's neurotic gluttony. BEHAVIOR MOD BREAKFAST Breakfast cereal is a big source of poisoning and subliminal programming. An ominous, relatively new addition into mass-market cereals is the raisin. A disgusting, pustular piece of mock-meat stuck into the unnatural purity of sterilized, processed grain, the raisin sticks out like a sore thumb. Can it be just a whim of manufacturers to insert a piece of revolting fruit to make the cereal appear more healthy, more organic? Unlikely. The reason for the raisin's epidemic appearance in cereal is to get the population used to eating flesh-like items, for the days shortly after nuclear Armageddon when the masses must eat others' flesh to live. Part of the elite's master plan of population reduction and societal reorganization is for brother to eat brother and man to eat child. The power-mongers know that man is not by nature a carnivore, but he has been trained since birth to think as a beast, to believe he is king of the beasts. Any sober observer of the feasting beast will tell you man is king of nothing. The one feature man ignores is the one feature, in fact the only feature which separates him from the animals, a gift of sorts from the accident of evolution: the power to negate, to doubt and refuse, to negate a premise, to negate his existence. Given this gift, he abandons it, preferring to be just another dumb swine. 9

self-loathing "That's it! We're all the same schmuck!"

-Lenny Bruce Man loathes himself. He is so phobic about his body, he demands it be covered. Whether from a natural revulsion of the offending carriage, or fear that he is so unstable that the sight of his own flesh will make him fuck or kill everything in sight, man asserts thusly his grave defect to the universe. The loathing of self is a natural, if uncomfortable, state of being where one takes the horror of existence, the anger at being aware that one exists, and turns it self-ward, upon the victim of the crime. It is very difficult to focus one's anger on the real culprits of one's pain: the parents, the society before them that brainwashed parents into thinking that birth was a gift not a curse, one's mythical gods, or even nature. PROJECTION Since the experience of having taken one's rage at the world and turning it upon one's self is basically unpleasant, the average person, after emotional assimilation, projects his self-loathing onto his peers and acquaintances, (not the cause of his problem, but the nearest objects for scorn), and thus becomes the generic, garden-variety misanthrope which comprises 99% of civilization. The religious or addictive personality turns his self-loathing onto the ontological self, either flagellating himself with guilt and self-punishment, or destroying his psyche slowly through the curse of addictive mythical delusion (i.e. new-age philosophies, organized religion, etc). Self-destructive behavior is by nature self-loathing acted out, but man misreads it as reinforcement of early parental dictates that one was unworthy of love. Self-loathing is a chronic punishment of self for remaining in life, when at heart one knows that death is the better place. The enlightened one throws his entire burden of self-loathing onto its rightful heirs; its creators, be they his gods and cosmos, the retarded machinations of nature, or his actual tormentors, parents and society. Realizing that he is the innocent victim of a cosmic mistake, the enlightened sees that his every action is by definition blameless. He despises not himself or others, but the whole process in general which leads to this hideous state of hypnosis, and seeks its erasure first in self-knowledge, and then in self-eradication. MATURITY Man deems it a sign of great maturity to move beyond the anger of being born by forgiving one's parents and embracing with gusto and thanks the putrid gift one was bequeathed. This notion is not only psychologically unsound, it is spiritually deadly. To repress and abandon one's primal life issue is to assure self-hatred and intellectual stillbirth, leading to soul-death and mass-think. All that transpires from the forced espousing of life is self-loathing ad nauseam and suffering eternal. Psychologists tell us that maturation consists not of resisting, but of understanding, molding and oftimes accepting one's natural (negative) inclinations. As man progresses through his sordid and hopeless life, he learns ways of adapting to and coping with increasing numbers of difficult situations. Given enough time, certain men might come up with systems for any contingency, but what's the point? Either his or others self-loathing will sabotage and mangle all that his "better" self has struggled to wrought. There will always be the sudden act of violence, the parasitic human bacteria one is ill-prepared for, the conspiratorial eventuality one never dreamt of. Assuredly, these negative events will overwhelm the soul afflicted. Man's self-loathing, actually the very simple confession of a mistake, could be so easily vaporized by recognition of the simplest truth. Death remains, through all the struggle and futile psychic maneuvers, the unwavering punch line to the ever-recurring joke called life. 10

society "It seems as if there were no progress in the human race, only repetition. We can almost hear then, if we listen, singing the same old song..."

-Virginia Woolf Were one to describe phenomena through the foggy lens of superstition, one would have to say that life is the invocation of demons. Since rising above superstition is the highest goal of intellect, one must revise that thought and state that life is merely a mistake befallen man. Man, despising himself, bands into groups of men, calls it society, and worships the notion of man that this group of fools suggests. Loathed and forgotten even in the self, the individual does not exist. His voice counts for nothing, and society, only a sinister conspiracy of individuals, is a tyrannical, dangerous illusion. While many have noted that society persecutes and ostracizes the individual, few have gleaned the true reason. Society, that is, other people, hate the individual, the pure incidence of specific "man," simply because he exists. All know at root that existence is a crime and a folly, and all secretly seek to end it. Society, therefore, punishes the individual for existing, for having the cowardice and audacity to exist. Other men punish a man by terrorizing and tyrannizing him, mocking and hounding his every move. PREJUDICE Prejudice is man's crown. No matter what one says or does concerning a person or group of people, it is all for naught if the subjects(s) in question simply do not like them. Though man pretends to be compassionate and democratic, bestowing all with equal rights, everyone knows of situations where they were rejected by the group solely on personal grounds. This occurs from the gutter to the highest floors of science, academia and politics. If you are not liked, you are excluded or destroyed. There is nothing mental, material or spiritual which an individual possesses that society does not devalue, destroy or steal. The congregation of men, being a congregation of cowards and fools, must of necessity be a toxic union, a danger to all souls. Woe to the soul who is imprisoned by men he thought his friends! Woe to us all! RESOURCES To see the folly of man's evolution into this mass of writhing worms, to see that it is essentially a bad idea, one need merely look at how incompatible his existence has been with the health and growth of the planet onto which he clings. Extremely clever at extracting the available resources of the planet, he has been less adroit at abstaining from eradication of these finite assets, and of limiting his own growth to maintain that delicate balance between nature's need and his own. The planet is dying. The only reason is man's existence. Greed, gluttony and indifference have poisoned every inch of the globe, and many precious necessities of life are now terminally threatened. Soon, the very oxygen and water needed to sustain life at even the most minimal level will become contaminated to the point of uselessness, and then the parasite may see his own machinations end his life, a suicide of sorts, but one for which he can take no credit. 11

technology "The glut of information was dulling awareness, not aiding it."

-Jerry Mander Man's insidious obsession on technology and progress in every field of endeavor has only one goal in mind, again revealing his misanthropic nature. Each new development diminishes his dependency on other men. Man, despising men, despises his dependence on them. The further he can get from other men by technological advance, the better he feels. Most advances in science and industry have the conscious aim of easing man's physical and cerebral burden. The subconscious desire is to make others obsolete. Man is not happy unless he has made life harder for the next man. His ideal goal is to disempower all others, and make himself self-sufficient and omnipotent. Each man has this dream. Only the most clever few achieve anything close to it. The law of the jungle is supremely evident in the elitist nature of power distributed by those who own, create and develop technology, and those who must defer to it, purchase it, or seek new means of survival because of it. Man looks proudly at himself, his tedious evolution, his minuscule advances, his pathetic discoveries, and asks us to marvel at his progress, his ability to extend the suffering of life and simplify man's task to the point of stultifying ennui. What these foul ghouls can't accept is that all man's delusory progress achieved is for naught as long as man himself remains a feckless, irresponsible beast. As long as one man amongst men is unsafe from his brother's deranged hands, life is a bad idea. Since man will always be a primal threat to himself, life remains a folly until it is no more. COMPUTERS Contrary to the big lie, technology removes jobs. Computers, for instance, have created a world of men physically isolated from one another. Software technology, employing the very fortunate few, has sent millions of tradespersons, from typists to mathematicians, graphic artists to accountants, scrambling for fewer, more specialized jobs. CONSUMER RADIATION There is a microcosmic amount of radiation purposefully placed into many health and beauty products such as deodorant, to increase tolerance for radiation, as the nuclear reactors around the globe burst and decay and feed man deadly daily doses of atomic death. This is also good preparation for the coming holocaust. Learning to live with radiation is also the goal of the patently dangerous microwave oven, now a staple in the middle-class home. It seems duly curious that a mere decade after microwave technology was declared by numerous thinktanks to be too toxic for the mass market, the planet was flooded with the boxes of death. Soon, all will own one. Did they make the microwave safer? Certainly not. They just made them more palatable to forgetful mass man. Even today, should one mention toxic radiation to a microwave owner, he will laugh in your face even as his skin twitches from a secret atomic scourge. ELECTRICITY Electricity, the invisible force all around us, is one of the great secret contributors to man's post-modern anxiety and lethargy. It is all the more insidious as it is invisible and all-pervasive. One look will show how hopelessly addicted man is to it, his primary means of propping up his pathetic cardboard culture. Man's addiction to electricity is not merely to the products of its service, but also an actual addiction to the seductive electro-magnetic force of alternating current. Man sits mesmerized in his easy chair, vaguely aware of a buzzing in his veins, a ringing in his ears, a sense of being gently invaded. This is not fancy, but a subliminal sensing of the bombardment of the body by radio and electrical impulses that prowl every inch of man's tainted habitat. 12

culture "The happiest man was the one who came nearest to killing the obvious human desires, hopes and aspirations; the soaring, starving poet."

-H.L. Mencken Culture, that cloudy mirror of man's self-delusion, is as sickly as he is. Science and business offer nothing but reinforcement of man's basic defects, magnified ingloriously. That malignant label for man's communal distractions, "pop culture," is little more than an expression of man's inexhaustible infantility. Note man's fixation on the music, icons and fashion of his youth. Supposed "adults" strut about in sneakers and baseball caps, whistling songs from their teenhood, looking like third-world street urchins or expressionist autisms. Their laughable image suggests they are pickled in eternal adolescence, a situation ripe for exploitation by the elite. Different avenues of culture offer a variety of dead ends, some of which afford a modicum of interest. All show the great zest with which man tries vainly to distract himself from his enigmatic place in his world, and his inability to sit still long enough to intelligently ponder his fate. Art is the closest one can get to death without dying. In great art, one can sense the life process unfolding to its logical conclusion, see the artist evolve into a spiritual being. Art is a powerful expression of the ambiguity of the life experience, the grappling of the inner mind with the incompatibility of life and death, and though it is a cheat because it is not death, great art opens the door of the mind to the efficiency of death that is more powerful than any intellectual or dogmatic caper. Art then functions like a kind of universal awareness practice, not unlike the mindfulness of southern Buddhism or the 'Attention!' of Zen. [7] ALIENS All of the recent crap about fools recalling abductions by curious somnambulist aliens is one of many signs of man's imminent crack-up. These and other delusions are the expected psychotic reactions resulting from man's suppression of the disturbing truth that he is insane, and his world is dying. NEAR-DEATH The same is true of the epidemic of "near-death" experiences, fortunate survivors telling of white lights and tunnels of love. These phenomena have been traced to universally experienced chemical processes in the brain, and have no more supernatural import than the average case of indigestion. Again, the deranged and terrified individual seeks to adopt some comforting, infantile worldview that will take the edge off the internal terror threatening to erupt at any moment. These anxiety-fueled delusions act as panacea for those who cannot bear the pain of their folly and their doom without the trappings of myth and fantasy. TELEVISION Television is an insidious, highly-addictive brainwashing device. It destroys one's thoughts. Man indiscriminately, passively absorbs ludicrous amounts of informational imagery, then arrogantly claims that negative propaganda has no effect on him, that he can pick and choose what is being fed into his mind. This is like claiming that one can devour a feast of foodstuffs and not digest that which is bad for him. The planet disintegrates daily, yet man focuses all his energy on his immediate ego-needs. He is blind to the realities of life like overpopulation, crime, disease, pollution, economic collapse, environmental disaster, and his own foul stupidity. MUSIC Popular music is designed to be a surrogate thought process, constantly droning in one's head even after the recording stops, seducing man with deceptively banal messages, all life-affirming and group-oriented. In a neurotic attempt to fill the unbearable void of silence, man clings to music and other media until it becomes impossible to think one's own thoughts. Most don't miss them. RADIO Rock music stations have one goal in mind: the degeneration of brain cells, to facilitate mass-think in zombie men. Rock stations solicit and conquer already low-mentality, dysfunctional flotsam, primarily teens and mental defectives, and further degenerate their feeble brains with an assault of earsplitting dissonance and sophisticated subliminal messagry. The basic aim is to create a non-thinking, reactionary individual, who merely responds to the stimuli of his life and culture, rather than taking control of it and thinking for himself. These brain-dead goons make hard-fucking, hard-working citizens, and in conglomerate they make mean armies too. Thus the preponderance of rock and roll "fans" in the military, and in the construction industries. 13

murder "The universe is an intelligence test."

-Timothy Leary Murder is an unnatural act, since it is a deflection of one's true goal, self-annihilation. It is an extremely understandable act, however, inasmuch as it flexes a powerful innate desire to extinguish life. As one is unable to see the wisdom, nay necessity, in extinguishing life, the moreso he desires to extinguish others, not out of mercy, but an empathic projection of one's own loathing. The escalation of murder for no reason at all shows that man's eternally suppressed self-loathing is reaching a peak, ready to burst in a blood bath of long-overdue genocide. That this death is called for and timely is unquestioned. That it need be perpetrated on others rather than initiated voluntarily by the self is unfortunate. Man's obsessive monologue about murder, demanding death penalties for criminals and shallow tears over the "untimely" death of innocent children, reveals a neurotic expression of one's personal death wish. The sympathy or anger expressed at murder or unsolicited death badly masks envy, a wish to take the dead one's place. If life had been essentially a good idea, needing only time and love to perfect it, one might look to the history of the world to see signs of moral evolution, trends suggesting a decrease in man's insatiable interest in annihilation. Such is not the case. WAR War continues unabated, aided now by bestial technological advances manned by drooling idiots who massacre thousands with a grisly stroke of the scientific wand and blithely salver, "It saved many lives..." War is a curious murder, as it is motivated, at least officially, from without, and has as its targets, primarily anonymous others. As with the thrill kill, the victim of war suffers because he has caught the momentary gleam of hate in the killer's eye. Unlike the thrill kill victim, war casualties usually share not even a modicum of parallel with their killers. War, as all killing, is self-loathing projected, a partially cruel act of self-punishment, giving the other what one wants most himself, that is, death. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Domestic squabbles fueled by alcohol and mental defect continually turn into death sentences for one or both parties. And the relatively recent ascent of the thrill murder, man torturing and slaying an often smaller and weaker specimen than himself just for fame, kicks or sexual release, suggests a species gone sicker by the minute, begging his illusory "gods" to intervene and exterminate. MERCY KILLING Mercy killing is an entirely different matter, a rare act of great courage and hopefully, with all of the belated focus on euthanasia, an increasing trend. Ideally, parents en masse will soon realize their grievous error and put an end to the life of their misbegotten, bestowing the great gift of nonentity on them and recovering a tiny fraction of the psychic damage rent on their tortured little souls. But one should not weep long over the cause of one's departure from this fey barnacle. Murder, suicide or natural cause all have the same releasing effect. Death is death, pure, and very simple. It is the blissful, eternally-awaited release of the spotless spirit from the stinking, deformed entrapment of matter. 14

intelligence "His mind was contaminated with nothingness."

-Gil Brewer What passes for intelligence on this psychotic plane is merely an exercise in cerebral auto-eroticism, insular arguments of a faulty brain rationalizing the existence of its defective owner. THOUGHT CRIME Those who are cursed enough to be ahead of their time are mocked, ignored and reviled if lucky. If not, they are harassed, persecuted, exterminated. Man's consensus of collective denial must be upheld at all costs; thus all seers or visionaries who dare speak the truth must be slaughtered to preserve the fragile insanity of the whole. Enlightened beings have always had a rough time of it amongst men of ignorance, but this conflict reveals not one but two truths. That great minds are summarily dismissed by the mass of pigs with a flippant, "Wow, what a cunt!" reveals not merely the lack of intelligence in the speaker, but the inherent defect in man's cherished process called "thinking". Since man can never successfully separate logical thinking from subjective, self-interested thinking, cannot honestly delineate where his own knowledge ends and opinion, assumption or wish proceeds, there is no way in which man can draw a rational conclusion to anything. Man's thinking is always poisoned by his fears, hopes and dreams. FAULTY Man's insular arguments to the contrary, it is disheartening to see how two brains, given exactly the same problem to solve, will invariably come up with entirely different, in fact antithetical, conclusions. While cute as a parlor game on a slow night, it does certainly suggest a grave defect in the apparatus. This disparity has nothing whatever to do with always-cherished "original" thought. Creative thoughts emanating from a fertile mind will have no parallel. Given a problem to solve, however, man should be able to achieve a similar conclusion as his fellows. As he does not, we doubt the machine. THOUGHT CONTROL Seers know at heart that the mass of men is in conspiracy against the thought processes of the individual, flawed as it is: It is certainly possible that the future of human thought is this: that it will be swamped under a flood of human silliness.... It is possible for clever cynical men to control (the many) by supplying them with drugs, by keeping them from reading good books or thinking original thoughts, changing them ultimately into idiots by giving them a good time. [10] This "conspiracy" has always existed against original thought, especially applicable to the taboo of suicide: The aim of those who try to control thought is always the same. They find one single explanation of the world, one system of thought and action that will (they believe) cover everything; and then they try to impose that on all thinking people. [10] This can be tested simply. If one does not have the right to exterminate one's self at any given moment for any given reason, he lives in a thought control prison and must rebel. MASS THINK Man, suspicious of his mental capacity, is terminally defensive about his opinions. Knowing he's probably wrong on any count, he desperately seeks to align his opinion with that of the masses. It's as if he's been told somewhere that his opinions must conform to mass opinion, and is thusly ill-prepared when called upon to think for himself. Thinking for one's self is, at root, a subversive act. 15

economy "Capitalism is founded on greed and envy."

-Charles Long The powerful elite who run the world are full of self-loathing for being too cowardly to die. They turn that loathing onto those weaker than they, namely the masses, and achieve endless delight devising ways to manipulate and torture the poor fools below who don't get the joke. MEDIA Notice firstly how all media, though violent and nihilistic, is essentially life-affirming and non-conspiratorial, rarely giving even the faintest clue as to the error of existence, the emancipating power of individual or collective suicide, and the wholesale exploitation of the sorry hordes by a ruthless elite. The media focus energy on consumption, comedy, sports, melodrama and all the other effluvia of man's little life, as if it meant anything, even to its owner. The "big" events, if covered at all, are mentioned with ever-ascending ambiguity. One never hears the truth of any given situation. The economy of a free-market society exists for one reason: to enslave the mass of men and keep them groveling for peanuts to paste over their heads on rainy nights. What poor sap has not succumbed in at least one dark moment of his life, to the absurd fascist notion, "I gotta work if I wanna eat!" SLAVERY The vast majority of humans work for shit, and those with great power don't work at all. They just take. Who has not heard of some poor lunkhead who, having suffered divorce or other economic setback, solemnly shuffles off to two or three jobs a day just to keep the bills and alimony coming, because he sees himself as "a good man?" That man probably gets drunk at night in front of the TV and goes to church on Sunday to reaffirm this inner tyranny, yet still somehow views his life as essentially "good." How the evil brainwashers of man must laugh down from their ivory towers on this fool's wormlike stupidity, seeing the magnificent trick they've pulled on the poor orphan. Someone should kill that man and give him the peace and glory he deserves! ECONOMIC GUINEA PIGS The economy is manipulated by the evil ones to maintain a state of unbalanced stupor amongst the hoi polloi, sometimes withdrawing a commodity like coffee or gasoline just for the fun of seeing all the worms cry and wriggle in withdrawal. Economic engineers achieve the same result (shock testing) in studying the behavior of the economy and the consumer public by carefully selecting a staple commodity such as beef, coffee, gasoline or sugar, and then causing a sudden change or shock in its price or availability, thus kicking everybody's budget and buying habits out of shape. Then they observe the shock waves which result by monitoring the changes in advertising, prices and sales of that and other commodities. And, one might add, a change in occurrence of murder, violence, depression and alcoholism. Man is so dependent on his fellows in such pivotal, pathetic ways, it is sobering to think how easily the elite could pull the string and watch the vermin eat each other alive. Birds in a cage die without seed. 16

addiction "What do you mourn with your tears?"

-Marj Addiction is an easy and popular delusional "escape" from life's ills, based on the false assumption that a pleasurable stimulus can be obtained without its depressive and debilitating antithesis. The dependent fixation on drugs, alcohol, food, sex, material possession, or dogma is a trap every being alive has fallen into countless times. Immeasurable suffering emanates from the attainment of one's supposed desires. The lesson one learns from addiction is that one cannot escape life except through death. The difficulty in attempting to escape life while alive is so great that none but the strongest few can control intake of the addictive substance, and the vast majority of addicts constantly fear the specter of overdose. The logical conclusion of an overdose being, of course, the long-sought death experience itself, it is obvious that all addicts, like all essentially healthy beings, seek death, but due to personal cowardice and societal brainwashing believe what they really need is a "pain-free" life. What becomes addiction often begins as something quite humble, evolving into a neurotic reaction to basic needs. Addiction disguises a hunger that can ultimately only be quenched with primal things. COFFEE Man seems to have a fiendish knack for extracting and obsessing on just those natural substances which cause him the greatest psychic harm. Coffee, for instance, creates physiological schizophrenia. Acting as a stimulant, it overworks the brain; as a diuretic, it depletes the body of nutrients and energy. Coffee raises the mind up and debilitates the body simultaneously, a feat also performed efficiently by alcohol. Of course the end result of indulgence in either substance is total disintegration of all functions. ALCOHOL Alcoholism is often a toxic reaction to mere thirst, mutated over the years by society's enforcing of strange, toxic beverages to the individual who, as a biological being, needs and craves only water. By the time the average moron is full-grown, his thirst has been so twisted that he sees it as a sensuous/aesthetic appetite, not a biological one. This conditioning by society, along with the individual's obvious predilection to self-destruction, explains the apparently retarded behavior of many who will, even on the hottest day of the year, spend their last dollar on a beer and ignore a free water-fountain nearby. One must constantly remind one's self what it really is that is needed, as one toys with the idea of adapting harmful behavior. As most have painfully learned, addiction often starts as a choice and ends up as a necessity, dragging pain, fear and decay along with it. CONSPIRACY The conspiratorial nature of an addiction-oriented culture is transparently evident by the amount of wealth and energy spent on reinforcing the addictive life-style. Compare the energy spent and revenue garnered from mass alcohol consumption with the minuscule pittance spent on education and rehabilitation of same addicts. Rehabilitation programs are few and far between, hideously understaffed and under-funded, located in ghetto hovels or dangerous, inaccessible medical labyrinths. This disparity is not an accident, or the reflex of an economic principle. Man wants his fellows addicted, to not think clearly, and certainly not to rebel against their macabre existence. So addiction is made painfully easy. The obstacles to rehabilitation act as a deterrent, shaming or befuddling the potential rescue to remain in the numbing netherworld of "managed" addiction, ideally neither succumbing to overdose, nor struggling hard enough to seek release from the infernal disease. 17

sex "Sex is unclean, not because of the pleasure, but because of the suffering it brings..."

-Theodore Roeszak Sex is a vile, disgusting act, all the moreso as it is so addictive. All sexual acts derive from a toxic urge to beget other beings, to summon innocent creatures to the fever of birth. The act of sex is the invocation of a demon, the demon that imprisons souls on the nightmare physical plane. Man, living in a state of high hypnosis from virtually the moment of birth, seeks sex above all else as he approaches puberty. To the average miscreant, sex is the alpha-omega of existence. To him, it means ego, love, companionship, power, acceptance, conformity, holiness, all form of psychological nonsense. Sex is the prime hallucination which taunts man. Man fucks woman, and immediately is rendered insane by fear of other men fucking her. Because his pact with her is tentative, he fears the loss of power that the loss of access to her fuckhole would invoke. There is no more miserable man on earth than one who cannot have sex, though he should be the happiest man alive. That is how completely twisted the universe has made the insane derelict "man". GAY/LESBIAN It matters not if the sex act be straight or gay, and no seed need be germinated. The intent of sex is its crime. No amount of cum-sucking or ass-fucking can disguise the spiritual import of the act, which is evil and murderous. Some whine that it makes sense, since procreation is a sin, to opt for alternative sexual life-styles such as gay and lesbian. While procreation is missed in most gay/lesbian sex acts, the gesture of begetting, even in a sterile example, still invokes the demon of soul-killer to earth, and strengthens his power. Thus, the case against alternative sexual life-style is not based on morality, and is an absurd hallucination. It is based on the metaphysical principle that one invokes by gesture, and the physical product, even in potential, is totally irrelevant to the spiritual intent: It is not because it is pleasurable that sex is a sin, it is because it makes the babies. More souls for hell.... feeding the devil. [19] OMNIPRESENT Unfortunately, sex is a universal tool of attraction and also the object of that attraction, the force behind all gender-based action. The amount of energy spent obsessing on the sexual is pathetic and disheartening, energy that should be spent on assuring one's imminent demise. Indeed, a false sense of security prevails in contemporary society, so deep is the conspiracy to keep man ignorant of his curse and cure. Man seems intent on pretending to the very end, and the dying beast continues to pump out little monsters at an alarming rate, even as individual and societal psyches collapse into dust. Even the weakest couples are aware of the dire chances for familial survival. With an 80% divorce rate, it seems that no-one really expects their tawdry little bond to flourish, yet it stops no-one from trying. At times, a macabre fascination with destruction seems to actually fuel the sex drive, and as man is innately destructive, sex will remain one of man's cardinal infirmities. 18

hell "For this world which thou dost inhabit is itself the realm of darkness and this very flesh is thy perdition."

-Ecclesiastes Is life truly hell, or merely purgatory? Certainly no-one with half a brain, or a heart, could see this pathetic zoo of despair as anything even remotely positive, but many argue whether this experience of life is in fact, the worst of all possible worlds, the actual, temporal hell, or merely an anticipation of the sentence that may await the ever-so-unfortunate cosmic traveler. If this life is purgatory, then it is merely the potential of hell, showing the sniveling coward all of the terrors that could befall him, and giving each just enough terror so that they remain in a perpetual state of panic and submission. But is not the constant, mad dread of calamity, in fact, the calamity itself? Is not the potential of hell indeed hell? Is drowning, or the constant fear of drowning, the more soul-deadening experience? Isn't the fear of pain equal to the pain? Purveyors of myth try to convince man that life is not hell, merely a metaphor, a purgatory, a karmic training ground for possible future destinations. This is a dangerous and absurd lie. There can be no worse situation than the one man finds himself in. Life is hell, because every birth is an accident, an unconscious act of the borne. Not one soul breathing desired to be here, and a choice made by others is assuredly a prison. CHILDHOOD HELL Aside from the family by definition being the murderer of its charges, one can easily recall a personal experience of one's self or a close acquaintance where the family unit, far from providing a safe harbor for the individual to grow and prosper, was a living hell of mental, emotional and often physical torment, the youth's loved ones the source of interminable grief and pain. Many a child was raped and beaten by their guardians, and virtually all the remaining waifs suffered extreme trauma and panic as a result of internal discord between two (or more) dysfunctional apes, or the more direct assault of hatred, mental anguish, emotional neglect and abuse. The world holds a taboo against obsessing on how terrible one's childhood was, preaching instead to forgive one's villains and focus on the present. But the world is a pig, a lunatic brute blind with fear and rage at its karmic capture, and must be aggressively ignored if one is to ever see the light. Stories of drunken-brute fathers and spineless-whore mothers, or psychotic-murderous mothers and distant-abandoning fathers are legion, and a strong yet sometimes unfocused anger towards one's parents is the rule. Certainly, the real reason for the anger is the smoldering hatred one by nature must have for the venomous buffoons who gave one life. Too often, unfortunately, it comes out in diluted ways, and even years of therapy rarely brings one to the revelation of the truth. THE ONE TABOO It is a crime and conspiracy against your fellow man to actively, vocally wish one's self never born. In fact, it may be the one taboo left in this age of "everything goes." Even the fool who actively decries people and says life is a joke immediately adds that he has some interests or projects that keep him going. To acknowledge that you aggressively hate life is seen as a sign of weakness or mental illness, so thorough is the brainwashing of your ancestors, so tight the lid of secrecy on the one truly enlightening fact of the whole universe: "Life is hell; you have nothing to fear from death; so go!" BULLIES One finds many goons who bray that they love life. These men are fools, so deluded they know not what they say. Or they are bullies, the ones whose self-despair is so great that they successfully cause harm and grief to weaker mortals, and get their pleasure and relief off those who suffer profound karmic torment. We are all bullies in degree. Those who would not or could not harass another human being would gladly strangle a kitten if they got a chance. It is a natural reaction to suppressing one's primal rage at life, to wish imminent harm on anyone weaker than yourself. 19

suicide "Ah, that death would annihilate it, it would be infinitely preferable to the world as it is. Ah, but there lies the rub!"

-Shakespeare Suicide is the only unique and positive act an intelligent individual can make in this mockery of an existence. It is the only sane answer to the cosmic mess man finds himself in. The only answer to all man's problems, individually and collectively, is to achieve his utter demise. That one has not killed one's self yet is a sign that he is a coward, a dullard, a failed human being, unless possibly he takes his life tomorrow. Thus, everyone currently on the planet, including author and reader, is a total and abject failure. The ideal state of affairs at some point in the near future, when the enlightened see finally the futility, horror and greed of existence and the approach of intolerable social and economic conditions on this raped planet, would be for people to band together under the banner of "the emancipated," and to collectively take each other into the state of bliss so long awaited, so foolishly denied. The individual feels fear, doubt and confusion regarding his own demise. Surrounded by friends of like mind, joining hands, strengthened by the resolve of the group, they could all lose their fear and perform one final, beautiful act, perhaps shining a light of sanity on the terminally dull, who may eventually get it after all. THE SECRET OF LIFE The secret of life is to deny it, not by the mental or spiritual tricks that gutless philosophers and unfocused mystics constantly invent, but to physically and defiantly end the cursed, worthless thing. Certain enlightened ancients perceived suicide as an intelligent and enlightened spiritual gesture, and as life on this planet becomes more absurd, painful and dangerous, one would hope that masses of semi-intelligent might have the same idea at the same time. FEAR AND DOUBT Why not end it this minute, the reader asks? He already knows the answers: fear and doubt. The ending of anything takes courage and intelligence, and the crossing of any bridge requires a certain elusive bravado. Most men have none of these qualities, and for many it takes a lifetime to summon up the courage to shuffle through another pathetic day. Very few have the clarity to see that the only way out of life is death, and there is no palpable reason to wait for fate to pull the string. Doubt about our "purpose," (an absurd notion,) or our "eventuality," (a worthless consideration,) poison almost every mind against its only pure goal: his own destruction. No man alive has not at some point realized he would be better off dead; and the tiniest fraction of them then had the nerve and character to follow this train of thought to its transcendent conclusion. No-one is immune to fear and doubt; thus, the earth is hell merely by the fact that not one soul living on it desired to be born, or desires, at heart, to be alive. What possible solidarity could exist amongst such a motley crew? DESTRUCTION Man is mystified by destruction, sensing subliminally its primordial appeal. We have learned a great deal about the how of things. The why, however, eludes us, and as long as this is the case, we will have a yearning for the marvelous, the explosive event in history. This is because man sees, usually at a repressed level, that there is no "why" to his existence. It is a mistake that he spends endless time and energy trying to rationalize. Thus, the morbid lure of destruction, the end of existence in object and animal, holds powerful charisma for him, as he projects his own, secretly desired demise onto the cataclysm. [7] Man wants to kill experience. He wants to kill himself. This book will never be heard, but perhaps the idea behind it will ascend into consciousness at some lucent moment in time. 20

man's subliminal god "Man cannot, and will not, face reality."

-George Gurdjeff Man's subliminal god is the invisible force that guides his actions and thoughts, unrevealed until the end of his sorry days. It functions perfectly beneath consciousness, rarely showing its face except in protracted venues and sterilized postures, primarily in the safe venting of harmless levels of dysfunction. Man's subliminal god is his darkest secret, the one truth shared by all his fellows, his greatest terror, his worst nightmare. Man's subliminal god is fear. Not merely fear of man, for that is articulated in war, addiction and hatred. Not merely fear of death, for that is exploited consciously in every stream of life. Man's deepest dread is of fear itself, the crippling awareness that he is powerless against all forces in the universe, including his destiny. FEAR INCURS MADNESS Fear is the inevitable psychological dysfunction that occurs to each man upon realizing that he is alive with no reason, and will die without warning. It is the germ of neurosis that ensures that his every move will be dictated by unfocused insanity. Fear robs men's souls of their freedom to hear the truth within. Fear is not a lofty metaphysical abstraction, nor is it a groveling peasant's boogeyman. It is a label for the negative force that inhabits and cripples the host. That it is a curse is arguable; that is it crippling, assured. Its ontological origin is of no import. One need not know the history of a virus to fight it. AWAKENING The mystic's and philosopher's cry for "resignation of will" is the babble men scream while erroneously clinging to life. When will man awaken and realize this hideous game with no rules and no winners must be, was designed to be, ended in one pure, conscious gesture of self-negation, being as it is the alpha and omega of existence, the one genuine concord twixt emotion and intellect, the most profound resignation, the most noble assertion of all? There are those who would argue that suicide is not a taboo at all; that it has been around, and utilized by many, since man began his giant fumble on earth. Suicide as a phenomenon has indeed been around since the dawn of suffering, but primarily as anomaly, an unfortunate stab against dire circumstance, a tardy means of escape from protracted illness, an emancipation for those under extreme political or sexual oppression, or as a resolution in various states of mental illness. Always, these reactions to unbearable circumstance were condemned as evil, tragic, unnecessary. Suicide needs to be finally seen as the metaphysical savior it really is; a healthy, valid option for any individual, of any age, at any stage of life, under any circumstances, and most importantly, for any reason at all, even the most impulsive. If suicide is not accepted as a sound "life-style choice" given any situation, it is still taboo, and must be challenged. In addition, suicide should be a concept positively presented to youth as early as possible, and potential suicides should be counseled and supported in their decision by society, the act assisted whenever possible. This will alleviate the messy, tragic and wholly unnecessary specter of failed attempts, which result in neither life nor death but a deformed revision of hell for the sorry escapee. Sadly, there are those who would shout at this argument, "But if suicide were available to everyone as an immediate, healthy way out of one's problems, then everyone would do it!" The obvious answer to this naive rant would be, "Hallelujah! That is the whole point! For everyone to die! For man's reign to cease!" At this point, most turn and run from the image of their own pitiful nonexistence. The enlightened, however, see that this vision of non-extant humanity, and a planet finally free from torment, rather than being the malevolent nightmare most fools fear, would be the most sublime utopia one could possibly imagine. If man were a positive phenomenon, he wouldn't cause himself such unbearable suffering. His existence is a mistake. He must see this clearly, embrace his true destiny, and shed forever his rotten carcass to become what he was all along: spirit, immortal and pure. bibliography 1. Atwood, Margaret; Surfacing, Simon & Schuster, 1972.

2. Bennett, J.G.; Gurdjieff: Making a New World, HarperRow, '73.

3. Brewer, Gil; Play It Hard, Monarch Books, 1960.

4. Caputi, Jane; The Age of Sex Crime, Bowling State University Popular Press, 1987.

5. Crowley, Aleister; Diary of a Drug Fiend, Sam Weiser, 1922.

6. Dworkin, Andrea; Woman Hating, Dutton, 1974.

7. Eiseley, Loren; The Firmament of Time, Atheneum, 1960.

8. Gerrard, Don; One Bowl, Random House-Bookworks, 1974.

9. Goldman, Albert; Ladies & Gentlemen, Lenny Bruce!, Ballantine, 1974.

10. Highet, Gilbert; Man's Unconquerable Mind, Columbia Univ., 1964.

11. Keith, Jim, ed.; "Secret Weapons for Quiet Wars," Secret and Suppressed, Feral House, 1993.

12. Long, Charles; How to Survive Without a Salary, Warwick, '92.

13. Mander, Jerry; Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television; William Morrow, 1978.

14. Marj; Into The Silence, White Oak, 1992.

15. Mencken, H..L.; The Philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche, Kennikat, 1967.

16. Parham, Vistara; What's Wrong With Eating Meat?, Sisters Universal, 1979.

17. Rehmus, E.E.; The Magician's Dictionary, Feral House, 1990.

18. Reith, Gerry; "The Roots of Modern Terror;" Rants and Incendiary Tracts, Black & Parfrey, eds., Amok Press, '89.

19. Roszak, Theodore; Flicker, Summit, 1991.

20. Schopenhauer, Arthur; The Complete Essays, Willey, 1942.

21. Stevenson, George S., M.D., & Milt, Harrry; Master Your Tensions and Enjoy Living Again, Prentice-Hall, Inc., 1959.

22. Starker, Steven; Parathink: The Paranoia of Everyday Life, New Horizon, 1986.

23. Watts, Alan; The Book, Vintage, 1972.

24. Wilson, Robert Anton; Cosmic Trigger, New Falcon, 1977.

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