to what you're about to read could possibly add anything to the experience of reading it. Every month for the last ten years, Esquire has collected the condensed life lessons, knowledge, and weird insights of people who have lived richly. Giants. Legends. Leaders. Innovators. Really smart people and some who really wish they were. What follows is twenty-five pages filled with excerpts from that trove of wisdom.

Jack Nicholson? How do you introduce Jack Nicholson? Rodney Dangerfield? Jack Welch? Walter Cronkite? Goddamn Ted Williams? Arthur Miller? Ray Charles? You don't try to introduce these people. You just get out of their way.

This issue also adds six new voices: Johnny Depp, Tim Burton, Michael J. Fox, Mel Brooks, Steve Wynn, and Eric Clapton. Together they bring to 180 the number of remarkable people who've contributed to What I've Learned in the last decade. Why this extravaganza now? January 2008 marks not only the tenth anniversary of What I've Learned but also the beginning of Esquire's seventy-fifth year, and it seemed appropriate to start things off with greatness. So we now yield the floor.

The Fighters

Michael J. Fox

Actor, 46, New York City

"Right now, I'm feeling pretty good. It's just one little thing in my brain."

Ray Charles

Musician, Los Angeles

"Music is about the only thing left that people don't fight over."

Muhammad Ali

Champ, Berrien Springs, Michigan

"Silence is golden when you can't think of a good answer."

Conrad Dobler

Football player, Kansas City, Missouri

"Under the flab, I'm like a washboard."

Christopher Reeve

Superhero, Bedford, New York

"We all have more abilities and internal resources than we know. My advice is that you don't need to break your neck to find out about them."

Antonio Pierro

World War I veteran, Swampscott, Massachusetts

"Blond. Small breasts -- so you can get closer."

Buck O'Neil

Baseball player, Kansas City, Missouri

"Gates. That's the best barbecue in Kansas City. Beef on a bun and baked beans. Hallelujah!"

Evel Knievel

Daredevil, Kalispell, Montana

"One day you're a hero, the next day you're gone."

Kris Kristofferson

Singer, actor, writer, Santa Monica, California

"The number-one rule of the road is never got to bed with anyone crazier than yourself. You will break this rule, and you will be sorry."

Bryan Anderson

Soldier, Rolling Meadows, Illinois

"I think it will be good for my kid to see someone like me, so when they grow up and they see someone like me, they won't make a quick judgment on them."

F. Lee Bailey

Defense attorney, West Palm Beach, Florida

"Sex has caused at least half the problems my clients have suffered over the years."

Mia Farrow

Actress, Los Angeles

"You don't want your son's father married to your son's sister, you know? That's bad for family values."

Ted Williams

Baseball player, Hernando, Florida

"The bigger people are in life, the more big-league they are. That's been my experience. You meet less shits the higher up you go."

George Foreman

Heavyweight, Houston

"All my sons are named George Foreman. They all know where they came from."

Carrie Fisher

Actress, writer, 51, Beverly Hills

"I'm very sane about how crazy I am."

The Comedians

Mel Brooks

Producer, 81, Los Angeles

"The iron test is: Do you laugh? If you laugh, you know they're gonna laugh."

Don Rickles

Comedian, Los Angeles

"No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you."

Garry Shandling

Comedian, Los Angeles

"Everyone at a party is uncomfortable. Knowing that make me more comfortable."

Yogi Berra

Catcher, Montclair, New Jersey

"A lot of guys go, 'Hey Yog, say a Yogi-ism.' I tell 'em, 'I don't know any.' They want me to make one up. I don't make 'em up. I don't even know when I say it."

Roseanne

Entertainer, Lake Arrowhead, California

"Self-esteem is the goddamn root of all evil."

Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel

Comedian and talk show host, Los Angeles

"We have a unique relationship in that I'm the woman and Sarah's the man."

Rodney Dangerfield

Comedian, Beverly Hills

"Never tell your wife she's lousy in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion."

George Carlin

Comedian, Venice, California

"I'm sure Hitler was great with his family."

Bob Saget

Entertainer, Los Angeles

"Full House was a show that was done for ten-year-olds. The critics hated it. But it should have been reviewed by ten-year-olds."

Jack Black

Actor, Los Angeles

"I can't believe that 007 was allowed to have a movie called Octopussy. Eight vaginas is what they're sayin'. No way to fuckin' misread that."

Joan Rivers

Comedian, New York City

"Comedy is an angry white man's game. Even if you're Chris Rock or Joan Rivers, you're really an angry white man."

Homer Simpson

Nuclear-power-plant safety inspector, Springfield

"I may not be the richest man on earth. Or the smartest. Or the handsomest."

Jerry Lewis

Comedian, Las Vegas

Everybody is nine years old. Starting with me."

The Renegades

Steve Wynn

Hotelier, 65, Las Vegas

"Other people's successes are good news -- for them and for you. Good for you because they show you a way to go."

Jack Nicholson

Actor, Los Angeles

"The fuel for the sports fan is the ability to have private theories."

Werner Herzog

Filmmaker, Los Angeles

"Facts do not interest me much. Facts are for accountants. Truth creates illumination."

Larry Flynt

Publisher, Los Angeles

"Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper."

Jack Welch

Manager, Boston

"One of the tragic things about getting old -- and there are many -- is the hangovers. They don't let you hang like you could when you were twenty or thirty."

J. Craig Venter

Molecular biologist, Alexandria, Virginia

"I wouldn't have mapped the human genome if I was lacking in confidence."

Donald Trump

Builder, New York City

"My life is essentially one big, fat phone call."

Richard Branson

Mogul, London

"My interest in life comes from setting myself huge, apparently unachievable challenges and trying to rise above them."

Hugh Hefner

Philosopher king, Los Angeles

"Playboy is the antidote to puritanism."

Phil Spector

Producer, songwriter, Orange County, California

"I am dysfunctional by choice, and I love my attitude problem."

Robert Altman

Director, New York City

"We make too much of the good and too much of the bad."

The Talent

Eric Clapton

Guitar hero, 62, Los Angeles

"'Layla' was like striking gold. There's that thing about when you're looking in the water and the sand and suddenly you see the sparkle. It's 'This is the mother lode here!'"

Robert De Niro

Leading man, New York City

"Money makes your life easier. If you're lucky to have it, you're lucky."

Willie Nelson

Singer, Abbott, Texas

"If you start out looking at somebody, wondering whether he's good or bad, I think you're starting out in the wrong direction. I think we're all good and we're all bad."

Mario Batali

Chef, New York City

"Food is much better off the hand than the fork."

Al Pacino

Legend, New York City

"Until you're famous, you can never understand the haven of anonymity."

Burt Reynolds

Actor, Jupiter, Florida

"Your bullshit detector gets better with time."

David Bowie

Chameleon, New York City

"Confront a corpse at least once. The absolute absence of life is the most disturbing and challenging confrontation you will ever have."

Kirk Douglas

Actor, Beverly Hills

"I tell my sons they didn't have my advantages growing up. I came from abject poverty. There was nowhere to go but up."

Julia Child

Chef, Santa Barbara, California

"There is nothing worse than grilled vegetables."

Faye Dunaway

Actress, West Hollywood

"I'm a bit high maintenance, but it gets your attention. A little hot and cold never hurts."

B.B. King

Bluesman, Las Vegas

"I have an excellent medical team. There's Dr. Viagra, Dr. Cialis, and nurse Levitra. They keep me, er, straight."

Walter Cronkite

Anchorman, New York City

"Indeed, we are in another Vietnam. Almost play by play. It's a terrible mistake that we're in Iraq, and it's a terrible mistake to insist on staying there."

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