It’s hard to believe that 2,020 years ago to the date Jesus Christ rose from the dead. Today, President Donald J. Trump took time to congratulate Jesus, saying that his resurrection was a big WIN. “Listen, I love Jesus, I do— and I think he’d like me a lot, if I’m being quite honest with you,” Trump said in a White House Presser on Sunday. “I think we’d be friends. Don’t you? Congrats to Jesus on his rest erection,” he continued, wondering whatever happened to his own erections. While Jesus pulled off one of the great plot twists in human history (the original you think he’s dead but he’s not tale), no one quite knows what the point of it all was. Could it have been just to stroke his own ego— to prove that he could resurrect? “Our savior would NEVER do anything not absolutely wholesome,” Jesus’ publicist, pope Jorge Bergoglio, told Sleeping Sardines. “Maybe he did it just for fun,” he added while smiling and doing the pope wave for some reason. Although it remains to be seen if Trump will resurrect from the dead after his death, conservatives agree: Jesus and Trump both seem almost too unreal to be true.