AlsoKnownAs17 Wed 03-Oct-18 13:07:02

Been there, done that (A long time ago and not in this relationship). And when it bit us on the @£$€ nobody came out of it well.



Why not now?

Partly opportunity - there's no one at the school gate that I fancy and with full time child care / domestic service, and precious little social life without my SO, there's not a lot of time left.

Partly energy - it's REALLY hard work having an affair.

Partly because it's ultimately unsatisfying - if it's about sex, as good as that may be, there's the spectre that it's illicit (and I don't get off on that per se) - if it's primarily emotional, stolen moments will never be enough.

Largely because I'd rather get the emotional and physical affirmation from this relationship. Even though I get neither and see no hope now that I will.



As above, if I got "caught" I'd loose a lot more than a SO.



I guess the bigger question for me is why my SO doesn't?