There’s nothing worse than being surrounded by negativity. Even if you did call your friend Stacey a “shitty feminist” for taking nude selfies, it’s important to move on and leave the rubble of bad feelings that you’ve created behind you. Here are a few ways to avoid negativity now that you’re over the shit you totally started all by yourself.

Forgive people for reacting to the shitstorm you’ve created.

Getting rid of negativity means you need to forgive people for reacting to you. For example, when Stacey told you to fuck off after you gestured in her direction and commented, “Um, I don’t think women should aspire to THIS!”, she created some pretty negative vibes. You just wanted to make her feel guilty for showing off her entire body, but that doesn’t mean you deserve to suffer from that kind of negativity! Let Stacey know you forgive her decision to defend herself. It’s the first step toward the kind of true, un-self-reflective positivity we all strive for!

Stop living in the past where you started the drama.

Stop living in the past—a time when you chose to publically criticize another woman’s body and method of self-expression. Sure, that was five minutes ago, but the human body replaces all its cells every few minutes, so you’re basically a different person now. Think about it! Don’t dwell on the fact that you think Stacey showing her nipples sets women back, 100 years. Simply label all dialogue as “negativity” and move forward! Remember: Positivity never looks backward!

Do something that makes you happy, like starting new drama.

If you’re in the midst of tearing somebody else down and their response puts you in a bad mood, do something that makes you happy. Shift from doing the activity you feel you “have to do,” like policing your friend Stacey’s actions, to an activity you want to do, like escaping the consequences of your words. Go for a swim, take a hike, or even steal a koala from the zoo. Anything fun that puts the focus back on your happiness and causes a whole new thing to deal with later. That’s what progress and self-improvement is all about!

Maintain a positive mantra.

Having a positive mantra to repeat when you’re confronted about your actions can greatly improve your ability to remain in denial of this monster pile of horseshit that’s entirely your fault. You can say your mantra out loud or silently, as long as it drowns out Stacey’s insistence that you and you alone are responsible for this. Try something simple, like “Peace, love, and I’m not wrong” or “I won’t give up my power to blame other people.” With enough repetition, you can become a radiant beam of pure positivity. So long to the earthly fight you instigated then graciously rose above.

It might not be easy, but if you follow these steps you’ll eventually free yourself from both negativity and responsibility this New Year! Good luck!