Dear Reader,

I sit here in front of my key board with so many letters, yet no words to type. I sit with ideas pouring from my ears, but still unable to speak. I sit here, immobilized by the reality of what this world is today. How this world is scary and cruel and unjust and intimidating and hateful and… I am here. I am a living, breathing, water drinking, love seeking, determined, hard working, selfless, compassionate, and understanding individual. But for a reason incomprehensible to me, I am different. My differences are exploited for the whole world to see and judge and decide.

Unannounced to me, my life was never going to be easy. Throughout my childhood I associated “gay” with “bad”. I knew some of my mothers friends were gay, but I never understood that it was okay. In 3rd grade, I was standing in one of the straightest lines on the playground after the recess bell rang to go inside. Single filed and ready to go, the bully Bruce calls out “Tyler’s gay!” Did I know what being gay was? No. Was I still ashamed? Yes. I learned from a very young age to deal with denial. I heard “Gay” “Fag” “Homo” “Sissy” to name a few… Rejecting and renouncing any stipulation made towards me. Using my athleticism, “normal” voice, and thicker build as a defense against being called gay. I convinced myself that it was a phase. That I will grow up, have a wife, kids, and the perfect little house. Not one time when thinking those futuristic thoughts did I feel happiness.

It wasn’t until almost 3 years ago that I welcomed those differences and fully immersed myself in me. I understood and accepted the differences I had, and acknowledged the permanence. I will not lie, that was some of the scariest and darkest thoughts I have ever shared with myself. Contemplating my importance, I was left to figure out how to live this life of mine.

Now, I know my place in this world. Right next to everyone else.

Because I want a husband, kids, and perfect little house, I am sharing my life with you. I want to help bring acceptance and understanding towards the LGBTQ communities. I want to have dialogue and hear points of view to grow mine. I am eager to help change this world, and I hope you can help me.

This journey is far from over, it is just the beginning for me. I can’t wait to get started.

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