Being gay is not just a physical attraction. Being homosexual means that you are mentally & emotionally attracted to someone. Just because you can't get physically aroused doesn't automatically mean that your feelings for another person get voided out. There are millions of people of both genders who are unable to achieve physical arousal that still love their partners/signifigant others.

There is nothing wrong with being gay & you are not going to go to hell for whom you love. Even if you were straight your heart would still be getting broken until you met that right person. Don't buy into the "if you're gay you're going to h3ll bullsh*t" & don't allow yourself to be brainwashed while you're vulnerable. Besides, do you know how many times my friends & I have said "I wish I was a lesbian- then maybe I wouldn't have my heart broken as much"? Then our lesbian friends go "No, it'd still get broken. It'd just get broken by someone with boobs."

Don't give up. There is someone out there that you can spend the rest of your life with, but if you give up you'll never find him.

EDIT:

Chemical castration DOES NOT stop your urges. I don't know where you are reading this, but it's not true. There have been people who have been physically castrated due to medical reasons or chemically castrated due to other reasons & they still have urges.

A lobotomy will not do anything for you. It is destruction of the brain. Many have been lobotomized & become little more than vegetables afterwards or afterwards felt like they "lost part of their soul". Lobotomies have basically been made obsolete since they are so dangerous to the actual person.

I am starting to think that you need to seek some professional therapy. What you are suggesting is a living suicide. If you really want something to numb the pain, go see a psychologist. They will prescribe something to you that will help you get over your pain & is more healthy for you in the long term. Don't take recreational drugs, since those will just exacerbate any mental anguish you are now going through.

There is no place that will offer you a chemical castration or lobotomy & any place that will give you one without a physician referral is illegal & will more than likely kill you.