NEW WINNIPEG – Manitoba’s Premier Brian Pallister has announced he has relocated the provincial capital, Winnipeg, to his luxury home in Costa Rica making the Premier far more accessible for meetings with other government officials.

New Winnipeg is perched on a hill overlooking a private valley and features a much warmer, tropical climate compared to the old capital some 6,500 km away.

“[Winnipeg Mayor] Brian Bowman said he had difficulties trying to meet with me, so I cut out the middleman and relocated his city to where I live,” explained Pallister swirling a virgin daiquiri served in a coconut. “I’ve set up the mayor’s office and city council near the jacuzzi so he can drop in anytime to chat about infrastructure.”

The new Manitoba legislature features an azure pool and has a breathtaking view of the Pacific Ocean. As an homage to the former capital, a statue of Golden Boy tanning on the beach has been installed on the luxury home’s roof.

“Now that the capital is in Costa Rica, the Metis Federation has no jurisdiction here and I don’t need to worry about land rights for future hydro projects,” said Pallister.

According to sources, Pallister will replace the vacancies on Manitoba Hyrdo’s board of directors with his housekeeping staff.