Two things you likely know about Donald Trump by now are that he’s a pathological liar and creepily obsessed with his eldest daughter, Ivanka Trump. While it would be nice for humanity if, in the midst of major crisis, he could ease up on the cascade of bullshit that flows from his mouth and/or the categorically insane remarks about his child, that’s just not the way he rolls. Instead, on Tuesday he managed to jack things up a notch.

Hosting a call with business leaders to discuss what the administration is doing to provide financial relief to small businesses, the president put it out there that his daughter, whose professional experience peaked with a failed clothing line, has personally created, wait for it, 15 million jobs.

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While Trump has told a lot of absurd lies in his day, the scale of this one is basically off the charts; it’s so completely ridiculous that he might as well have said that Ivanka gave Abraham Lincoln the idea for the Gettysburg Address, or that when the Reagan administration was floundering during the AIDS crisis, it was Ivanka, age eight, who stepped in and took control of the situation. As Vox notes, as of January, prior to the coronavirus wreaking havoc on the economy, roughly 152 million people were employed in the United States—ergo Trump is claiming that his daughter created 10% of all jobs in the country. It’s an extra incredible feat when you factor in the data point that in the three years Trump has been president, only 6.7 million jobs have been created in total. Ivanka, then, is apparently not only working overtime beyond all comprehension, but also asking the Bureau of Labor Statistics to keep it on the down low, because if there’s one thing the Trump family is known for, it’s modesty.

And speaking of attributing major feats to the first daughter, a new one on Wednesday seems…somewhat dubious:

Ivanka Trump personally lobbied top bank executives to line up the $1.5 billion in commitments to small business that were announced yesterday at a videoconference among the bank executives and President Trump—stoking competitive juices among the execs to drive up their commitments…. Ivanka, who has had workforce development in her portfolio going back to 2017, plans an increasing emphasis on small businesses in the weeks ahead as they navigate the rescue bill’s Payroll Protection Program, sources tell me.

Watch for Ivanka to take a key role in negotiating small-business provisions in the new rescue bill being planned by the Hill and the White House. She plans to advocate for workforce development and skills training to help Americans get back to work faster.

You know who else has a “portfolio going back to 2017”? Jared Kushner, and it includes bringing peace to the Middle East, solving the opioid crisis, and “reinventing the entire government.” Anyway, it’s not clear how Ivanka will be able to juggle rescuing the economy, rereading The Odyssey, and learning the guitar, but if anyone can do it, it’s her—or so her father says.

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