I love this gig. Not just because I get to constantly write about the world’s #1 roleplaying game, but sometimes I get some… unusual… requests.

Earlier today as I was going through my Instagram DM requests, I got a message from a fella named Matt.

“Hey, can I get some advice? I’m a new DM and for some reason I let one of my players collect a ton of body parts then when he found a necromancer he managed to combine them all into this giant thing and I have no idea what stats to give it.”

Uh, challenge accepted. Obviously. But it gets better.

The player drew a picture of it, too.

And included a list of all the parts.

You know, in case I missed anything.

So now I have to stat up something that has 3 human heads 4 human heads, 1 dog head, 1 wolf head, 2 goblin heads 1 goblin head, 2 bugbear arms, 2 human arms, 4 goblin arms 3 goblin arms, 2 doppelganger arms, 1 crab claw, 1 deer antler, 4 wolf legs, 3 goblin legs, and 4 human legs.

Matt informed me that the thing is powered by the soul of a dead wild magic sorcerer.

That sorcerer was a player character that they sacrificed to bring this monstrosity to life.

Awesome.

Errata:

11/30/2018 – Instagram follower @mysweatyl.ron.hubbardupperlip (what a name) won a contest to name it, calling it omnimortis. Congrats!

The Omnimortis

The omnimortis is an undead monstrosity created through a macabre assembly of dead humanoids, mammals, and crustaceans. At its core, the thing is powered by the soul of a dead wild magic sorcerer.

It was created by a group of plucky adventurers hoping that it would make for a good companion. Unfortunately, they used a discount necromancer to create it and the wild magic sorcerer who powers it isn’t too happy about her new, many-limbed existence. Thus, hijinx ensued.

When the thing isn’t falling apart or falling down, its stench is near unbearable, causing those with weak constitutions to vomit immediately. Its chief instinct in combat is to grapple opponents with one of its many arms (or its giant crab claw) and either slam it or bite it with one of its many heads.

When the omnimortis has trouble deciding its best course of action (probably due to all its heads) or takes damage, its prone to splitting and creating two new equally horrible monsters, each one dripping ichor and embalming fluid all over the place.

Undead Nature. The omnimortis does not require air, drink, food, or sleep.

The Omnimortis

Large undead, chaotic neutral

Armor Class 7

Hit Points 119 (14d10 + 42)

Speed 15 ft. (30 ft. when rolling, 60 ft. rolling downhill)

Abilities Str 17 (+3), Dex 5 (-3), Con 16 (+3), Int 3 (-4), Wis 6 (-2), Cha 5 (-3)

Saving Throws Wis +0

Skills Perception +2

Damage Immunities poison

Condition Immunities poisoned

Senses darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 12

Languages understands the languages it knew in life but can’t speak

Challenge CR 5 (1,800 XP)

Grappling Arms. The omnimortis can grapple one Large creature or up to four Medium or smaller creatures at a time.

Multi-Headed. The omnimortis has advantage on all Wisdom (Perception) rolls and on saving throws against being blinded, charmed, deafened, frightened, stunned, or knocked unconscious.

Rolling Pounce. If the omnimortis moves at least 20 feet straight toward a creature and then hits it with a ram attack on the same turn, that target must succeed on a DC 13 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone. If the target is prone, the omnimortis can make one bite attack against it as a bonus action.

Stench. Any creature that starts its turn within 5 feet of the omnimortis must succeed on a DC 13 Constitution saving throw or be poisoned until the start of its next turn. On a successful saving throw, the creature is immune to the omnimortis’s Stench for 24 hours.

Undead Fortitude. If damage reduces the omnimortis or any of its smaller parts, it must make a Constitution saving throw with a DC of 5 + the damage taken, unless the damage is radiant or from a critical hit. On a success, the omnimortis drops to 1 hit point instead.

Actions

Multiattack. The omnimortis makes four slam attacks and one claw attack. It can replace any of its slam attacks with a bite attack.

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature the omnimortis is grappling. Hit: 8 (2d4 + 3) piercing damage.

Claw. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 6 (1d6 + 3) bludgeoning damage, and the target is grappled (escape DC 16).

Ram. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 10 (2d6 + 3) bludgeoning damage.

Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 6 (1d6 + 3) bludgeoning damage. Instead of damage, the omnimortis can grapple the target (escape DC 16).

Split. The omnimortis splits into two different omnimortises. It must be of Medium or larger size and must have at least 10 hit points in order to do so. Each new omnimortis has hit points equal to half the original what-hell monster’s rounded down. The new omnimortises are one size smaller than the original omnimortis and they lose the original’s Grappling Arms and Rolling Pounce features as well as its Ram and Claw actions. Its Multiattack option changes to allow it only two attacks: one with its bite and one with its slam. In addition, select one of the following options to give each new omnimortis. Only one omnimortis per original Large omnimortis may have any one of these options at any given time:

Brute . The new omnimortis’s slam attack deals one extra die of its damage when the omnimortis hits with it.

. The new omnimortis’s slam attack deals one extra die of its damage when the omnimortis hits with it. Nimble Components . The new omnimortis can take the Dodge or Dash action as a bonus action on each of its turns.

. The new omnimortis can take the Dodge or Dash action as a bonus action on each of its turns. Pack Tactics . The new omnimortis has advantage on attack rolls against a creature if at least one of the omnimortis’s allies is within 5 feet of the creature and the ally isn’t incapacitated.

. The new omnimortis has advantage on attack rolls against a creature if at least one of the omnimortis’s allies is within 5 feet of the creature and the ally isn’t incapacitated. Reckless. At the start of its turn, the omnimortis can gain advantage on all melee weapon attacks during that turn, but attack rolls against it have advantage until the start of its next turn.

Reaction

Involuntary Split. When an omnimortis that is Medium or larger is subjected to slashing or thunder damage, and it has at least 10 hit points, it uses its reaction to Split.

Thanks to Matt Feist for the Opportunity!

This thing was a ton of fun to create even if it is a hot mess. And I just love stories of DMs that let their players get away with some super creative stuff.

Thanks again to the folks on Instagram that entered the contest!

To learn more, be sure to follow me on Instagram: @dungeonmasterdave.

See you soon!

Art by Keith Thompson

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