This horribly inauthentic and trashy keto gyro in a bowl is a knock off Greek recipe that can easily fit into a low carb diet. It’s basically a bowl of Greek-inspired meat and cheese that’s full of fat and flavor.

Last year when I was working as a grad assistant while completing my master’s, a friend introduced me to the wonderful world of Greek food. Here I was, thinking I was all culturally diverse and shit just because I grew up next to Ft. Campbell and had access to all the wonderful German, Korean and Mexican food I could eat… my education in Mediterranean cuisine was sadly lacking.

There’s this little gyro shop off Charlotte Ave. near TSU called “Gyros & Kebab.” It’s a little family-owned hole in the wall and sweet baby jesus is it ever delicious. Cheap, too! You get a giant box of food for something like $7! After I learned I couldn’t destroy an entire box in one sitting, and once I decided I should try to eat low carb again, I figured out how to order it so they’d give me a bowl full of basically just meat slathered in cheese and tabouleh for like $5. Incredible. At any rate, this place is on the other side of town from my house, and I found myself craving it for dinner. There was nothing to do but figure out how to make a copycat recipe!

So my favorite thing to order is a “mixta bowl,” which is both chicken and lamb. Have you ever seen a kebab shop? They have these giant hunks of meat skewered on these big upright rotating spits, and they just cut the meat off to stuff the gyros. I can’t replicate that in my kitchen, but I knew I could chunk up chicken breast into a passable substitute. The lamb was a more difficult problem. I honestly don’t even know where to buy lamb around here, much less how to cook it, and I don’t have a spit for it, any way.

Then it dawned on me that the texture is incredibly similar to Steakums. Have you ever had Steakums? It’s this brand of flash frozen, incredibly thin & fatty sheets of beef that you break up into chunks and fry and then make things like Philly Cheese Steaks with them (I mean, obviously not a real Philly Cheese Steak, I’ve never been to Philly and I have no idea what an authentic one tastes like, but these southern knock-offs are delicious, ok?) I decided to give it a try with Steakums and it was a success!

I’ve made tabouleh before to top my homemade mixta bowls, but it’s not worth it to me – I’d rather just eat a bowl of meat and cheese, okay? And instead of tzatziki sauce, I use ranch dressing. Gyros & Kebab offered that as a substitute and I don’t like cucumber, so I always rolled with it. It’s less carbs, anyway.

So, long story short: is this an authentic gyro bowl? No. But it’s a damn good Americanized rip-off and CB and I eat them regularly. You should, too!

Ingredients

1lb chicken tenders

1 box Steakums (the smaller box, 15oz)

feta cheese

ranch dressing

marinade

For the marinade:

1 cup sour cream

1/3 cup olive or canola oil

1/4 cup lemon juice

3 tbsp Greek seasoning

1 tbsp minced garlic

1 tbsp salt

1 tsp pepper

1 tsp cinnamon

Directions

Preheat your oven to 350.

Dump all marinade ingredients into a bowl and mix together. I throw everything in my Kitchenaid.

While that’s mixing together, cut your chicken strips into 1-2 inch chunks. I like using my electric knife because if you haven’t already realized by how often I use my mixer, I am lazy af. Minimal effort ftw!

Since the mixer bowl is already dirty and you don’t want to do more dishes than you have to, just chuck the chicken in there and give it a whirl to coat it.

Then stick the entire bowl in your fridge to marinade for 30 minutes. Or just dump it out on a baking sheet because you’re hungry and you want it to start cooking. Honestly, I don’t know if it makes a difference. It just seems fancy to let it marinade for a little bit. Make sure you spread it out evenly. It’ll be real thick and gooey.

Bake for about 30 minutes. The chicken should be done by then. I guess. If you don’t want to risk contracting salmonella, I guess you can use a meat thermometer. I have no idea what the temperature should be. I live dangerously and haven’t died yet. At any rate, after the chicken has been cooking for about 15 minutes, you wanna cook your Steakums. Break them up by hand into a skillet and fry them.

If you’ve never seen Steakums before, I’m sure this isn’t the most appealing photo. They’re a disgusting frankenfood, but we’ve long since established on this blog that I like to eat trash. I guess if you care, you can omit them, but they add a great texture. Anyway, fry them til they’re done.

They look much better cooked, huh? Now that they’re done, and if you think your chicken is done, go ahead and crank your oven to broil. Observe your chicken and when the edges start to brown, it’s done-done.

Hope you can tell from that picture, but you want it to start slightly scorching on the ends. That makes it crispy and doesn’t taste at all like burning, if you time it right. I don’t know what the time is, just watch it. Keep your oven door cracked while it’s broiling and when it starts to look like this, pull it out.

Throw everything a bowl, toss with feta cheese, dump ranch on it and enjoy!

I’m not including nutritional info on this post because it varies so much based on exact ingredients, brand of cheese, ranch, etc etc. Do your own computations in MyFitnessPal. This is a calorie-dense meal that will stick to your ribs all day. I’ll be making it again for dinner tomorrow night. Usually I get 3 servings out of it: my dinner, CB’s dinner, and my lunch the next day. It reheats really well in my tiny desktop crockpot!

I’m trying out this new printable recipe feature, attached below. Give me some feedback on whether you like it or not!

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Print Pin Gyro in a Bowl Prep Time 10 minutes Cook Time 40 minutes Total Time 50 minutes Servings 3 people Ingredients 1 lb chicken tenders

1 box steakums (about 10)

feta cheese

ranch dressing Marinade 1 cup sour cream

1/3 cup olive or canola oil

1/4 cup lemon juice

3 tbsp Greek seasoning

1 tbsp minced garlic (I use the kind you can buy in a jar)

1 tbsp salt

1 tsp black pepper

1 tsp cinnamon Instructions Preheat the oven to 350.

Mix marinade ingredients together and cut chicken strips into 1-2 inch pieces.

Coat chicken in marinade. I usually mix everything in my Kitchenaid and then mix the chicken in, too. Let it marinade for about 30 minutes.

Dump the chicken, marinade and all, onto a baking sheet.

Bake for about 30 minutes, then set the temperature to “broil.” Watch the chicken and remove once the edges start to go dark & crispy.

When your chicken has been in the oven for about 15 minutes, start frying the steakums. Just make a skillet hot and crumble them in, stirring until they’re done. Sprinkle them with some Greek seasoning straight from the shaker, while you’re at it.

Finally, layer the finished chicken and steakums in a bowl and garnish with feta and ranch.

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