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The tips, by the way, are delightful, running the gamut from wearing comfortable shoes, toting along lip balm, and “dressing in layers” all the way to carrying a water-soaked bandana in a zip lock bag “in case pepper spray or tear gas is deployed.” Do bring snacks and “have a good, balanced meal before the demonstration.” Don’t bring pearls or pets. The latter might get stressed out by the chanting.

Do bring snacks

Now, I’d like to be clear about something before we go on. As you can probably tell, modern-day protests in wealthy Western countries make me cranky. They strike me as histrionic, narcissistic, and most disruptive to people who are not in power but just trying to go about their own lives. My kids happen to go to school near Queen’s Park, so I speak from both a place of privilege and harried experience when I say that protests make afternoon pickup a pain in the behind. Plus, can we just admit that union chants are embarrassing for everyone, not just nervous poodles?

However, I wholeheartedly support the right to protest, and I’m certainly not suggesting that protests should be illegal.

Photo by Jack Boland/Postmedia News

All I’m saying is that when protests are held by generally healthy people in prosperous democracies who act as though their lives are literally on the line, they’re annoying.

Note, for example, that at more or less the same time that protesters at Queen’s Park were angrily waving professionally designed CUPE flags and shouting about how Ontario’s small health groups are being consolidated into one oversight agency and now we’re all going to die, protesters in Venezuela demonstrating for a return to democracy were being run over by military vehicles. Literally.