Chapter 26: Finally Had Enough Of This Shit

Hey! Friends! We're almost to the climax! Exciting, right? Well, I'd hope that it is, otherwise then there wouldn't be much of a point to reading this story, right? Wait, wait, don't leave! It's close to the big finish! Trust me, it's worth it. But, before we get to our big finale, we should check in with our favorite criminal duo one more time. How about it? Well, you have no choice in the matter. So, let's get to the story, shall we?

xxx

"God DAMN IT!" Roman swore as he slammed his fist on his desk.

How DARE someone outbid him on that scarf? It was genuine, one-hundred percent silk! Now it was going to some damn plebian, who would rub his greasy mits all over it! He wouldn't know how to pull it off like only Roman could!

Sighing, Roman clicked out of the internet browser tab. So much for his online shopping venture. Adjusting his hat, he decided that he could stand to go for a walk. A man like him needed to keep in shape, after all. He didn't want to outgrow his finely tailored suits, after all. Plus, he should probably go looking for Neo. If she was gone for an extended amount of time, then that would only mean something bad or very messy happened. And, then he would have to pay for a cleaner, and that wasn't fun. Those bastards usually weren't available on Saturdays, anyway.

So far, this Saturday wasn't looking all that great.

Walking out of his office, Roman strolled calmly towards the main storage area. If Neo was going to be anywhere, she'd probably be near where people normally gathered. Wait. Faunus weren't people. Scratch that, where life forms normally gathered. After all, those White Fang mutts could stand to be good target practice for Neo.

However, as he walked into the main storage room, Roman was a little surprised that Neo wasn't in there. Instead, the only signs of life was a group of White Fang members, just sitting around a table and drinking. And not working. That was the part that annoyed Roman. What was he not paying them for? If they didn't have any terrorist stuff to do, then they could at least keep an eye on Neo. And killing she may or may not have done while she wasn't being watched was their fault now.

"Hey! Mutts!" Roman announced at the group. Only a few people looked up at Roman, only to go back to drinking straight form their bottles.

"Ya see my girl around here?" Roman continued. "Pink and brown hair? Yay high? Sadist?"

"Nooooo… We haven't…" one man, staring at the table groaned.

"Useless," Roman muttered under his breath. Then, raising his voice, he asked, "And what the hell are you doing? Get busy!"

"Our friends are gone…" another White Fang member miserably moaned.

"What?" Roman asked, confused.

"The lieutenant and Rick… Gone," the White Fang member clarified.

Roman adjusted his hat as he thought. Well, considering how shitty it normally was to be a member of the White Fang, it really wasn't a shock to him that some animals would either die or just run away.

"Meh," was all Roman had to say. He couldn't care less. What was more important now was finding Neo before she made a rather expensive mess.

Sighing in annoyance, Roman spun on his heel and walked back towards the office. He'd just text Neo on her scroll. And, if she didn't reply, Roman would just get Perry on the search for her. He was the only remotely competent animal here.

Speaking of Perry, Roman saw that he was waiting in front of the door. And, judging by the way he was picking at his cuticles and just generally fidgeting, he probably had some unpleasant news to bring him.

As soon as Roman walked up to the office door, Perry snapped to attention and said, "Sir!"

"What, Perry?" Roman dully asked.

"I, um, got some mews for you," reported Perry.

"Anything good?" Roman pressed.

Perry nervously licked his lips. "…No?"

Roman couldn't resist the sigh welling out of his throat. He had a feeling that he would be doing a lot of sighing today. "Come in," Roman offered as he walked into his office.

Perry followed in, just as he was told, and sat in a chair in the corner. Likewise, Roman wasted no time slumping back into his desk chair. With a sweeping, sarcastic hand gesture, Roman sneered "Proceed."

"Well… uh… Cinder's coming back later. I think she wants a progress report on those bombs. H-have we even built those yet, by the way?" explained Perry.

"Nope, YOU haven't. Seriously, do I have to give your little friends a treat to work, or what?" Roman suddenly fumed. "We just have a PILE of bomb parts over there, and they haven't even been touched since we got the damn stuff!"

"I, erm, can't assemble bombs, sir. I don't have the know-how," Perry sheepishly admitted.

Roman massaged his furrowed brow. "Look, when's she coming by?"

"Tomorrow evening. The normal time," Perry said.

Leaning forward onto his desk, Roman nodded at what Perry had said. Then, out of the blue, he asked, "Perry, do you like working here?"

"Huh?" Perry confusedly grunted.

"Do you like working for the White Fang?" Roman clarified.

"Well, yeah, sure. I mean, it isn't exactly all what I heard it was when I signed up, but I guess I can't argue with it," admitted Perry, picking at his cuticles again.

"How much do you get paid?" Roman asked further.

"I don't," Perry replied, sounding a little disappointed with that thought. "I have to take up a buncha part-time jobs to pay rent…"

"How sad," noted Roman. "Say, how'd you like to work for me?"

"…Aren't I doing that now?" Perry asked.

Roman waved his hand to dispel that confusing statement. "No, no, you're not getting it. Leave the White Fang, and be under my payroll. Trust me, boy, I pay handsomely." He finished statement with a small smirk.

"Wouldn't I just be leaving behind all my comrades?" questioned Perry.

"Are those even your friends out there? Because they usually treat you like shit," Roman (quite rightly) pointed out.

Perry had to admit that Roman did have a point. There wasn't anyone person that he could call a friend here. They treated him like some lackey, used up all his cash to buy stuff, and he was sure that some of his fellow White Fang members had blatantly stolen from his possessions before. Plus, they kept on calling him a race traitor. Just because he was getting along with Roman fairly well didn't mean that he turned his back on Faunus kind.

Then, an ironic thought hit Perry: despite joining up to stick it to humans, a human was the only person to treat him relatively fairly ever since he started operating for the White Fang. The truth of it all stung to him. He just couldn't deny it any longer. Sure, Roman treated him as an assistant, but at least he wasn't outright bullied by him. And now, he was offering to pay him out of his own pocket? It was too good of an offer to resist.

"No… They're not my friends," Perry decided.

"Then why should you work for them? Look, all I'm saying, is that you'd be better off running with me. So, wanna take me up on this?" Roman finally offered.

By now, Perry was internally fuming over his revelation. If anything, his Faunus comrades had treated him worse than any human. At least humans didn't bully him and use him extensively. He guessed that some weren't all that bad. Roman wasn't all that bad. So, his response didn't take all that much thought. "Deal."

Standing up from his chair, Roman offered out his hand for a shake. "Glad to have you on board, Perry," he smirked. Perry reached out and took Roman's hand, giving it a firm shake. Now it was official. Perry worked for Roman now.

Sitting back down, Roman picked up his scroll from the desk. "Now, we need to let Neo know that you joined up," he said mostly to himself.

But, as he was going to open up the texting app, Roman heard his ringtone go off on his scroll. "You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life/See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen"

The pupils in Roman's eyes narrowed as he recognized the number. Shit, she was calling NOW?!

Answering the call, Roman began with the charming introduction of, "What the hell do you want you bitch?!" Perry could only look on in confusion at Roman's sudden outburst.

Perry could hear the leather of Roman's glove squeak as he clenched and unclenched his free hand. Then, Roman shouted into his scroll again. "No, he isn't FUCKING mine! You're just gaming the system! Now STOP! STOP TAKING MY SHIT!"

Before Perry could quietly ask what was going on, he was stopped by more of Roman's angry ranting. "NO, FUCK YOU! I GOT THE FUCKING PAPERWORK! YOU DON'T HAVE A DAMN THING ON ME!"

Roman angrily slammed his fist on his desk. "FINE! YOU'RE DONE, YOU HEAR ME?! DONE!" Hanging up on the call, roman angrily shoved his scroll into his pocket and got up from his desk.

Perry confusedly watched Roman walk out of the office, only to walk back in a minute later holding a can of gasoline. "Okay, first assignment, Perry," Roman said through gritted teeth.

"…What was all that about?" Perry quietly asked.

"Not important, just listen," Roman continued. "I'm going to text you an address, okay? I want you to burn down that place. Simple as that."

"Huh?" went Perry.

"Look, no questions. You'll get paid, don't worry. Just do this, and we'll be golden." At that, Roman tossed that can of gas into Perry's arms and began to push him out the door.

"Wait!" Perry cried. "What should I do after that?'

"Lay low for a day and get back to me! Okaygreatjobtigernowgetouttherethanksbye," Roman muttered as he finally shoved Perry out the door and shut it behind him.

Roman groaned. Of course his ex would call for more support payments. Of course this Saturday wasn't going to be good. At least he got someone to "take car" of this little situation. Hopefully, he'd show that bitch by burning down her house. Now she'd get a taste of how it felt when someone took away her shit.

Walking back over to his desk, Roman opened a drawer and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. He didn't even bother to get out a glass as he just chugged the fire water straight from the container. Sighing, he sat back in his desk chair and pulled out his scroll. He needed to text Neo. They were going to take a small vacation tomorrow. And possibly for a week, if the whole fire thing somehow got traced back to them. It was best to lay low, just to be safe. Besides, they had the opportunity to avoid Captain McFirebitch and her young shit-wards. That was more than enough of a reason for Roman.

Fortunately for him, Roman didn't need to send out a text. Out of nowhere, Neo just opened the office door and calmly sauntered into the room. Well, as calmly as someone playfully twirling a viscera-covered parasol while covered in blood could. So, by Neo standards, it was more like that her legs were shaking from the sheer pleasure of her implied sadism.

Roman just decided to skip over what she was out doing, and to the question of how bad the damage was. "Animal, or person?" he sighed.

Neo breezily raised one finger, indicating that she'd killed an animal. Roman breathed a sigh of relief. People were such a pain to clean up after. At least with animals, he could just toss on the freeway and make it look like it got killed by being run over.

"Okay…" Roman breathed. Across from him, Neo happily slid into the chair in front of his desk. "We've got news."

"…?" Neo hummed.

"We're taking the day off tomorrow… and probably the day after that. Sound good?" explained Roman.

Without questioning why, Neo nodded her head in agreement. That sounded fine to her. But, she couldn't help but ask something that was on her mind earlier today. "…?"

"Right now? Well, I guess we have the time," Roman replied. Seriously, it wouldn't be a day with Neo of she didn't ask for a trip to get some ice cream. But, the girl was worth it. She was easily the most reliable partner Roman had worked with in a while.

Neo let out a merry squee as she tried to climb out of her chair. Alas, he legs were still a little weak. Her hobby sure had taken her energy from her, all right. There were a few interesting stains on her clothes that could attest to that. And no, not just the blood stains.

Roman went to Neo's side and helped her out of her chair. But, he kept in mind to keep her slightly away from his chest. He didn't want to get blood all over his jacket. White, dry-cleaned suit jackets and blood never mixed well.

Now that the height-challenged sadist was on her feet, she and Roman walked out of the office, and outside the warehouse. The both of them were at least feeling good next to each other. That's what partners were for, right?

In fact, they were so happy, that neither Roman nor Neo noticed the police van parked slightly down the street from the warehouse's gate. If they could hear the inhabitants of that van, they would have heard that their target was confirmed, and that this was definitely thee White Fang Hideout. They would have also heard that the presence of Roman alone was more than enough proof. But, because they didn't have such excellent hearing, none of that information was picked up.

Instead, Roman and Neo climbed into Roman's town car parked across the street, and drove down the street, in search of an ice cream joint.

Lucky them. Through sheer coincidence, they had somehow avoided the incoming shitstorm to follow.

But hey, luck works for all peoples, right?

xxx

And thus our favorite villains exit, stage left! To be honest, I couldn't bring myself to have Roman, Neo, and Perry arrested or killed in the climax. And, it's not just because I like the characters. I also have plans for them in the future. So, don't worry about that! Other people's asses will be kicked in their stead! Plus, much like the running theme of this story, luck can just randomly happen. So please, don't shit on me for this. Just enjoy it! Lie back, and think of fan fiction! That's the spirit!

This is The Draigg, and I… have to clean up all the viscera Neo left behind…