The Rumour Mill remains mystified by what it was exactly that Robin van Persie had in mind to do at the precise moment he planted that header past his own goalkeeper during Holland’s defeat at the hands of the Czech Republic on Tuesday night and now we find ourselves similarly perplexed by reports in Spain that Barcelona are planning to sign the 32-year-old striker from Fenerbahce in January. The Spanish club are in need of attacking cover and have earmarked the Dutchman and their own former goal-getter David Villa as potential bench-warmers. With his current team New York City having failed to make the MLS play-offs, Villa will have plenty of time on his hands but is understood to want a move to a club that will guarantee him playing time so he can lay claim to a place in Spain’s squad for Euro 2016.

Having decided a life spent gathering dust on the Paris Saint-Germain substitutes’ bench is no life at all, the Brazilian defender Marquinhos fancies a move elsewhere and is also being linked with Barcelona. Elsewhere in Spain, the Atlético Madrid manager Diego Simeone is understood to be an increasingly big fan of Juan Cuadrado, who has been delivering the goods at Juventus after being shipped out to Turin on loan by Chelsea. The man in black they call Cholo will be less impressed with tittle-tattle suggesting his club’s bitter rivals Real Madrid are plotting a smash-and-grab for Antoine Griezmann, with Chelsea also reported to be interested in the Frenchman and two of his Atlético team-mates: the Spanish playmaker Koke and the Uruguayan defender Diego Godín.

While the £36m (slowing inching its way towards £58m) paid by Manchester United for Anthony Martial was widely regarded as a ludicrously high fee to pay for an inexperienced teenager, the French television station Canal+ has suggested that Chelsea offered Monaco even more for the impressive 19-year-old, but had their offer rejected because the player himself preferred to go to Manchester United. José Mourinho will be hoping for better luck if he tries to lure Isco to Stamford Bridge. The Spanish daily AS says it was the Spaniard who Chelsea’s manager went to Ukraine to scout from under his cowl, rather than Dynamo Kyiv’s Andriy Yarmolenko, as was originally reported.

Arsène Wenger could end his policy of no longer signing outfield players if there is any truth to claims that the Marseille striker Michy Batshuayi and his Celta Vigo counterpart Nolito both feature in the Arsenal manager’s future’s plans. With the name of the Corinthians striker Alexandre Pato also being linked with Arsenal and Manchester United, the Brazilian club have stuck a price tag of £18.5m on a player who has spent a large part of his career flattering to deceive.

Sightings of English football’s most famous gillet could become increasingly rare if reports emanating from Villa Park that Tim Sherwood’s days as the club’s manager are numbered turn out to be true. Whether it was calling for “a little bit more gut, a little bit more pride, a little bit more feather-rustling” after his former Spurs charges had been thrashed by Chelsea, or promising Villa fans that he’d rid their team of its “losing mentality” shortly after that FA Cup final gubbing at the hands of Arsenal, the Villa manager’s passion for the game cannot be questioned and he has never been afraid to wear his heart on either of the sleeves that his quilted bodywarmer doesn’t actually have.

Sadly, despite Tim’s best efforts Villa’s losing mentality remains as much a part of the club fixtures and fittings as the Holte End and that bronze William McGregor statue, and with just four points from a possible 24 on the board this season, the manager’s position is looking increasingly precarious. According to the Daily Mail, there is “a degree of friction” between the manager and senior figures in the club’s hierarchy over recruitment policy, while the Rumour Mill is guessing Tim wasn’t too impressed by the exodus of Christian Benteke, Fabian Delph or Ron Vlaar during the summer either. With a match against fellow strugglers Chelsea coming up this weekend, Sherwood could do with a win to help silence sinister murmurings about his future.