Buying your first home is an exciting time as you tinker with financial calculators to see what you can afford. However, there are some real costs you can’t overlook. Can you share those commonly forgotten expenses that factor into the real cost of owning a home?

So we live in New Jersey, where home prices and property taxes are crazy high compared to most of the country. When we were buying our first home we stretched ourselves to the limit just to afford a small fixer-upper on a main road. Bad decision.

Over the next few years we learned the true cost of owning a home, which is so much more than just the mortgage.

If you put down less than 20 percent as a down payment you’ll be stuck paying for Private Mortgage Insurance, which protects the bank…not YOU. For example, you have more rooms to fill now which means you’ll buy furniture to fill them. You’ll have the inevitable burst pipe, leaky water heater, or roof that needs repairing. Property taxes only move in one direction: up.

Oh, and don’t assume your monthly mortgage payment will stay the same even if you have a fixed rate mortgage. If you pay your property taxes and insurance through escrow you could receive the dreaded escrow shortage letter.

A year into our mortgage our bank told us our escrow account was underfunded. They offered us the lovely choice of paying $2,000 upfront or increasing our monthly payment by almost $200.

Screw that.

When we were buying our current home I refused to use escrow and insisted that I take care of the property taxes and home insurance myself. I have a separate online account set up for that and I just automatically deposit money into it every month. When it comes time to pay the quarterly property tax bill I already have the money set aside.

What are some of the strategies or pieces of advice you can share for other families potentially looking to shift to one income?

Raising a family of five on a single income isn’t easy. I have a good job but staying on top of everything and continuing to save toward our goals is always a struggle.

The biggest piece of advice I can give is to really think it through. It’s a big decision and you don’t want to do it on a whim. Less income means it will take you longer to save for your goals. Or you might have to switch to new goals that are more humble and affordable.

You also need to mentally prepare yourself to make sacrifices. There will be times when your dual income friends are doing something that looks really fun but is just not in your budget. You have to be okay saying no and not spending your days jealous of their lives.

How are you looking to instill fundamental money lessons in your children to hopefully make their future path as smooth as possible?

We do our best to teach our kids to be financially responsible. I think the biggest lesson is that everything in life is a trade-off. Whenever you make a decision or a purchase that closes the door on something else.

Oh, you want that cute dress for the first day of school? That means you can’t have the new boots you also want. Blow all your allowance on candy? Then it will take you that much longer to save up for a new video game.

I think the best way to teach financial responsibility is by example. Right now our kitchen needs some work, but the fence in our backyard is only one strong gust of wind from falling down. We can’t afford to do both right now so we have to make a choice. Life is all about choices, and being able to think it through and make a smart choice is important skill.