I’ve always been shy. I tend to keep to myself, and I’m rarely the first one to talk to a stranger. I also hate talking in large groups; I usually just listen, and only give my opinion when asked. I’d resigned myself to the fact that I was an introvert and shyness was part of my personality, but I’ve always envied people who are friendly and outgoing.

Turns out about 40% of adults believe they’re shy, according to research from Indiana University Southeast. While knowing I’m not alone was comforting, I wanted to see what being like the other 60% felt like. I decided to pretend to be extroverted for a week with the thought that it was temporary. I could go back to being “myself” when it was over.

First, I had to understand the difference between being shy and being an introvert. “On the surface, a shy person and an introvert look exactly alike,” says Bernardo Carducci, professor of psychology and director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast. “The critical difference is on the inside.”

At a party, for example, an introvert stands to the side because they prefer to be there. “There’s less social stimulation, and they have a more sensitive nervous system and prefer to get away from noise,” says Carducci. “They withdraw from the social world because they’re minimizing stimulation. They have friends, but they prefer social functions that are smaller and more sedate.”

“You shouldn’t feel like a failure if people don’t respond to the topic you tossed out. It may take two or three attempts.”

Shy people, on the other hand, stand to the side at a party because they feel they have no choice, says Carducci. “They want to socialize, but they don’t know what to do,” he says. “They are self-critical and think that in order to be successful at socializing, they have to be brilliant and the life of party. That’s not true, and this is where they shut themselves down.”

I definitely identified with being shy, and Carducci told me it would be okay to pretend to be outgoing and extroverted, but it might be better to learn how to be “successfully shy”–true to the person that I really am while also feeling comfortable meeting new people. It would just take practice.

The first thing to do was to realize that the conversation process is not random. “It follows a specific process, like a golf swing,” says Carducci. “It’s an acquired skill; people are not born with the gift of the gab. You can learn this.”