(Ed. Note: As the Stanley Cup Playoffs continue, we're bound to lose some friends along the journey. We've asked for these losers, gone but not forgotten, to be eulogized by the people who knew the teams best: The bloggers and fans who hated them the most. Here are the snark masters from The Committed Indian, a Chicago Blackhawks publication, fondly recalling the 2014-15 Nashville Predators. Again, this was not written by us. Also: This is a roast and you will be offended by it, so don't take it so seriously.)

By TheCommittedIndian.com staff and Andrew Cieslak

We have to say it’s kind of an amazing feat that we’ve been able to arrive here to toss dirt on the 2014-15 Predators. Considering the armed guards, barbed wire, screaming eel-filled moats, concrete walls, and dogs with bees in their mouths and when they barked they shot bees at us that Nashville put in place to keep us out, one has to wonder if it’s all worth it.

Then we remember the sight of Mike Ribeiro dragging his slimy ass off the ice after shaking hands (or in his case, tentacle) and we have to say yes … yes it is.

Nashville, you’ve taught us a lot of things over the years - maybe none more important than you can draw a mob of idiots to a park by building something that doesn’t really make sense in context like a replica Parthenon (hello, giant bean). But we really had no idea you had such an inferiority complex.

First, an endless slew of hometown editorials coupled with ticket office policies that make getting a mortgage seem simple.

Second, the Predators decided to change the entire way the national anthem is presented just to keep Chicago fans from yelling while Tractor Johnny or Larry the Cable Guy sings the anthem like on most other nights.

Third, they trot out the mayor to espouse civic pride and shame all the visitors who simply came to scream themselves hoarse, drink gallons of whiskey, and dispose of their cold, hard cash in the Music City. Our mayor just tells us to do things that are anatomically impossible.

All the ticket fiasco really did was show the city’s and the organization’s collective ass, proving it to be nothing more than a hilljack outpost; just Branson, Missouri, with bigger names on the concert marquees.

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We’ll never get over having seen the mayor of Nashville, “Hot” Karl Dean, standing on the ice in an oversized, never-worn Predators jersey talkin’ Christian values and good ol’ country fried patriotism. “Let’s sing the song together as one!” Yeah you’re not fooling anyone, you idiot. Everyone knows a real mayor would be too busy laundering money or defrauding investors to stand up at some sporting event pleading for some kind of prayer circle to stop the red clad demons from the north from having too much fun in his piss-stained Garden of Eden.

He even claimed it would be, “an affront to God” if Hawks fans were to cheer while the person next to them sang the anthem, as if a God worried about the pregame antics of hockey fans was one worth worshipping. “Well I don’t care about mass murder in the Middle East or disease or poverty, but the dude with the Italian beef stain on his knockoff Kane jersey cheering while Sausage Gravy Jill belts her heart out really rubs my rhubarb!”

It became quite the hobby of Preds fans on social media to point out the arrest records for the admittedly boorish behavior of travelling Hawks fans. But that hobby has become so time consuming that clearly they have neglected to keep tabs on their own kids, with a local high school tabulating 134 arrests in the past 8 months. Perhaps once these kids get out of school they’ll be able to parlay their hourly wage from the local Jiffy Lube into Preds season tickets, priced so low they’re practically being given away, and finally give the Hawks a legitimate run for their money at something.

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