ding. ding. ding…

Facebook wants me to know there’s something exciting going on!

I click on the red notifications to see that a stranger commented on a number of photos of me.

That’s odd. These photos are years old — I wonder why anyone is paying attention to them now.

I click to see:

Why is this bitch so ugly?

Click again:

Eew.

Again:

Stupid fugly bitch.

And so on and so forth.

Ah-ha. This, I realize, is perhaps my first time experiencing a stranger being mean to me on the internet. Which makes me pretty lucky. Women are getting rape threats for sharing their opinions and groped in VR games every day out there. This is a long time coming and pretty mild.

Doesn’t bother me at all!

Good thing I’m in my 30’s and not in my teens, because I can only imagine what havoc this would’ve wreaked on my fragile teenage self-esteem! I’m so much stronger and wiser now. Untouchable, really.

I look at the photo he’s cleverly captioned Eew. Why do my cheeks feel hot and prickly with embarrassment all of a sudden… I don’t know what’s harder on my eyes, the closeup of my face, or his spelling choice (I prefer the simple Ew, or adding extra w’s rather than e’s).

I mean it is kind of a rough picture of me. Not really sure why my friend posted it.

Eew. This guy might have a point. I do look pretty bad in all of these pictures. All pictures in general? I think so, yeah. I’ve always thought so. And now I’m in my 30’s so it’s just getting worse and worse! Oof. Why is this bitch so ugly?

Ohhh, I see what just happened there. Whoops! Just what he wanted, I’m sure. I at least won’t give him the satisfaction of engaging with him. Who is this guy anyway?

Oh.

He looks kind of sad. So young. His posts seem like high school was quite recent, and I remember how hard high school was, even before social media made it even more complicated. There are few to no “likes” on his posts, and barely anyone gave him a thumbs up for his slightly depressing looking profile pictures :(

Poor kid! What is your life like that you feel the need to bash a total stranger? What kind of terrible day did you have today? I hope he hasn’t lashed out at girls his age. I wish he had more friends he could talk to so he wouldn’t feel the need to act out like this.

Oh!

I could be his friend! Maybe these comments are a cry for attention and help. Maybe he just needs someone to ask him how he is. Someone to listen, and offer perspective.

He’s a young, impressionable white male. I don’t want him learning that the stereotype about Asians is true – that we’ll just sit quietly by, even if insulted. I want to teach him about empathy, show him that Asian people aren’t silent doormats, and offer an ear for whatever he’s going through. I think we could become best friends! I’m up for it:

Crap. That sounds kind of condescending (really condescending?) and a bit defensive (ridiculously defensive?). I’m not sure if that will reach him or just infuriate him more. Balls. Was I nice enough to my internet troll? Will I be able to transform him into a human being?

Ah, new messages from my new best friend:

The end?