Inevitable. By definition means, when something is certain to happen. That’s the point where we’re at with the golf season here at my place of employment… Scenic Woods Golf Club. It’s a great place to work. Friendly people, a great boss (honestly, I’m no ass-kisser), a decent membership, and just a place that feels like it’s the right place for me to be (as long as I continue to work in this industry). However, during the course of a golf season you see and hear things that makes you just sort of shake your head.

The 2019 golf season was both and frustrating. You can’t control “Mother Nature” so you do your best to compromise with her. In this part of the world April-June were horrendous. The rains fell at “biblical proportions” and our golf course does sit in a floodplain. So for the first months of the season we (the golfers) were confined to “walking only”. often we’d hear “Why are you walking only? The golf course looks dry”. Looks can often be deceiving. What golfers have to realize is that golf carts going out is one thing. The agronomy equipment is another. They sink in wet conditions faster than Titanic post-iceberg. Ladies and gentlemen, I need to stress that there is a responsibility in protecting the golf course. It’s counter-productive to the bottom line to allow golfers to tear up a golf course and then pay extra labour hours out of the annual budget. Budgets!!

Handicap flags. I love handicap flags. It allows easier access to the green and teeing areas for those that are no longer fleet afoot. However, does this mean that you can park on the collar right next to the fringe or on the teeing deck itself. The answer is no (adaptive golfers notwithstanding). Please show a little bit of discretion in using these flags and simply don’t abuse it.

Aerating of greens. Do you love how your ball rolls on the greens at your local golf course? If you do, then it’s obvious that your superintendent has engaged in aerating the greens. While it and the temporary greens may pose as an inconvenience it is in fact a necessary evil. Did you know that if you suffer a lot of rain the greens essentially cannot breathe and drown? We had to aerate in June. Had we not, the greens would have developed fungus, disease, or mildew and quite possibly lost greens. Honestly, I know that you’re disappointed to see that it’s taking place but we don’t mean to cause any sort of pain.

In a sort of comical moment I had a first recently. It’s not totally strange to occasionally see a golfer bring their golf bag into the clubhouse. In some cases the golfer is new and doesn’t know any better. So we educate them. In this particular incident two weeks ago it was a non-member that not only brought in his full blown Titleist Staff Bag into the clubhouse but it was also on his Clicgear 3.5+. He carried the unit upstairs without detaching anything. It marked the first time that I had seen a golf cart brought into the course. Of course, he also managed to block entrance ways/exits and stairs. I dunno, maybe he was a victim of past club theft??

My personal point of anger was on a day where it was raining. Because of the rain we had limited play. A total of around 8 members played and one chap from GolfNow (Hot Deal) whom we had already approached about parking the cart on the tee deck (no disabled flag displayed). It came to our attention from a member that the 13th green had sustained considerable damage. The green was torn apart in multiple places. It was clear that the putter was gouged into the green in multiple spots and there were even divots taken by a wedge on the green as well. Moreover, I just happened to check the 18th and there was yet more damage to the green. Including more gouges created and one spot where said golfer “lawn-darted” the flag right next to the cup. Honestly, if you’re a golfer having a bad round don’t take it out on the golf course. Take a deep breath and look at yourself in the mirror. It’s your fault and nobody elses. Pull a Jim Carey from “Liar Liar” and kick your own ass.

You cannot make this stuff up. In a case of total irony this literally just happened at 1:31 p.m. shortly after publishing. A walk-on customer that has been here on many occasions using discount coupons just tried to dictate that he was going to walk-on and play the back nine. I informed him “no chance”. Without being able to inform him that the course has a lot of traffic with golfers making the turn in bunches he told me to “Fuck Off!” and stormed out. Hey buddy, make a god-damned tee time. Oh yeah, the back nine has three temp greens due to aerating. Buddy, I did you a favor. You might be a public player but I have a great memory. You’ve been flagged Brian!!!

While it seems like complaints and it’s all doom and gloom, it isn’t. The number of laughs that I’ve had far outweigh this minor sampling of grievances. Just please… For the sake of the individual behind the counter and the superintendent keep in mind we’re here to help.

Until The Next Tee!!

#seeuonthenexttee #fightandgrind