thin privilege is going on a school trip to a theme park and not having to worry about if you’re going to fit on the ride.

my senior year of high school, we took a trip to grad bash which is a big party thrown by universal studios in orlando for high school seniors every year where both parks are open to you and there are musical performers with dance clubs scattered around the parks and dinner beforehand.

one of my favorite rides at islands of adventure is the hulk. it’s a big rollercoaster with lots of loops and i’ve adored it since i was 11 years-old and rode it three times in a row the first time i visited the park. i was in line with a few of my friends and it was finally our turn to get in. but when it came time for strap in, i couldn’t get the restraints to click. so one of the workers came up to me and tried to help me but no matter how hard he squeezed, he couldn’t get it to click. it was then he told me that i didn’t fit and i would have to wait for the next one to come around so i could use the handicapped seat.

surrounded by a bunch of other 17 and 18 year old high school students, i felt my face immediately redden and the humiliation i felt was incomparable. i told him to forget about it and i no longer wanted to ride and it was everything i could do not to burst into tears right then and run away. i kept my cool, i made it to the nearest bathroom where i could just sit on the toilet and cry. i was already depressed and anxious because of things i’d gone through in my life and it was always exacerbated by perceptions of my weight and i don’t think i’ve ever been more humiliated and depressed than i was that night. it’s been five years and i haven’t gone back or attempted to get onto a roller coaster again since for fear that the restraints won’t fit.