In a day and age when cops and other government agencies spend a lot of time talking about what they can’t say, one guy came right out and said it.

Like in 2012, when an Illinois man was apprehended while trying to find a party. He was naked and covered in Crisco, and Jefferson County Chief Deputy Randy Christian put it into words.

“I can just see those law enforcement officers now,” he said. “Get him Joe. No, you get him Jim.”

He always did have a way with the naked ones.

Christian, the longtime spokesman for the sheriff’s office, a man who has done more for police PR than McGruff himself, will retire Friday after nearly four decades on the job. The Ensley High School graduate took over as chief deputy – responsible for the day-to-day operations of the sheriff’s office - in 2009 after joining the force in 1982.

“It’s just time. Thirty seven years is a long time,’’ he said. “There is a new administration coming in hopefully with new and fresh ideas that will build on what we have accomplished.”

He will leave naked criminals and quips behind for a life of retirement, and probably more than a little golf. But he leaves a groaning legacy, a face-palming body of work that, if nothing else, found a lighter side of crime.

Like in 2003 when a fight broke out between a father and son during an Alabama game – which happens surprisingly frequently. A 20-year-old picked the wrong time to ask to borrow his car, so the man put a gun to his son’s head and pulled the trigger. The bullet narrowly missed, and Christian had this to say:

“I know we take football serious in the South but that's crossing the line.”

That’s probably the one that put him on the map, but many would follow. Here’s a look at a few of the favorites:

-About jail overcrowding in 2011, Christian had this to say: ''We have a jail right now built for about 900 that is busting at the seams, averaging 1,200 inmates daily,'' he said. ''Maybe we can fence in Legion Field and use it.''

-In 2010, a guy posed as a fugitive to help his friend escape bounty hunters. He got himself shot in the chest and charged with attempted murder. His pal got caught too. ''I’d put our ‘dumb’ criminals up against anyone’s,'' Christian said.

- Christian in 2009 tried to put in perspective what a strange year it had been. "''Overall, I think the pressure of the economy may have a lot to do with what a strange year it has been,'' he said. ''There is no other explanation I can think of. People are getting drunk, getting high, getting naked and getting stupid. ‘I am running out of vocabulary to explain to our public what’s happening,'’ he said.

- Once there was a nude hiker in Mount Olive who told deputies he wrecked ATV before wandering away. He was found 15 miles from the so-called accident, prowling nude around somebody’s barn - which is a phrase you never want applied to you. ''That was a little far-fetched,'' Christian said. ''He was drunk, and we were just thankful there were no sheep in the barn.''

-In 2017, a Pinson man was arrested after leading deputies on a low-speed chase in a stolen delivery truck. Authorities said the man was unfamiliar with the complexities of a modern manual transmission and was captured after he was unable to get the truck out of first gear. "Thank God he couldn’t find second gear, the pursuit could have gotten all the way up to 35 mph,'' Christian said.

Last year, a Birmingham man was arrested after he was found naked with a bag of crack cocaine tucked in his ear. As the deputies approached the suspect, he got into the truck and began to get dressed. They spoke to him and he told them that the reason he was naked was that he was covered in ants. Deputies saw no ants, but noticed the man appeared to be under the influence of a controlled substance. "I guess if you don't have pants on, an ear is as good a pocket as any,'' Christian said. "It certainly could have been worse."

-In 2018, deputies were faced with quite a challenge when they tried to catch a 400-pound bull calf running loose one Friday afternoon at the intersection of Jaybird Road and Allison-Bonnett Memorial Drive. The calf eluded lawmen – and a few citizens who tried to help – for hours. "We have the most advanced crime-fighting technology known to law enforcement but sometimes we still have to round up a cow,'' Christian said. "I love my guys, but I was pulling for the cow."

-One November day in 2017, deputies responded to a report of a fight in northern Jefferson County and ended up arresting a 39-year-old drunk woman who was eventually placed in the back of a patrol vehicle. While deputies were taking statements from witnesses, the woman began banging her head against the metal bars on the windows. She was taken out of the back seat to be handcuffed and, at that point, dropped her pants and squatted to urinate.

Once she stood back up, she was handcuffed and put back in the cruiser. While she was being taken to jail, she told the deputy she had just intentionally urinated on his back seat. Then she said this: "Well, this car ain't new no more."

"I don't think I would be out on a limb,'' Christian said, "saying she didn't make it to junior cotillion."

-Then there was the time in 2016 when a 51-year-old man was stopped after other motorists reported he was weaving from lane to lane on Old Springville Road. He was dressed as a clown and told the deputy that he had just had a few drinks at a local restaurant. He offered no explanation for his attire, and was locked up on a DUI charge. Driving drunk is no laughing matter, but it's not every day someone dressed as a clown is booked into jail. "I thought I had, but obviously I haven't seen it all,'' Christian said. "I would really like to have seen Otis when he woke up from an all-nighter with this clown sitting next to him in the cell."

-In June, a Birmingham woman armed with a promise, or a threat, tried to rob a Forestdale bank. The holdup attempt happened at Regions Bank in Forestdale and authorities said the would-be robber passed a note to the manager demanding $6,000 from the vault. The note read that, if the manager complied, he would be rewarded with a sexual favor. If he refused, she would claim that he had sexually assaulted her.

"Our deputies were on the scene very quickly and saved this employee from something,’’ Christian said. “I'm not sure exactly what but we saved him from something."

-On a cold January day in 2016, a 29-year-old man stole a school bus and then ditched it, literally. An onboard video helped lead deputies to the suspect thief who was seen driving the stolen Pinson Elementary School bus and then ending up in a ditch. “I don't know if this was alcohol-involved,'' Christian said, "but I would feel better about him if it was."

-A woman's plot to smuggle drugs to her boyfriend in lockup was foiled by lawmen and both ended up behind bars. County investigators received a tip that a was involved in a scheme to deliver drugs to her beau when he showed up for court and undercover deputies were ready when the exchange took place.

"I suppose love knows no bounds or they are just stupid. I suspect it's more of the latter,'' Christian said.

-A Cordova man was arrested March after authorities say he attacked a tracking dog who had successfully hunted him down. The 26-year-old man was wanted on outstanding warrants and fled from the cops in the Adamsville area. The K9 tracked the suspect into the woods and located him. When the dog found him, Hunt began to kick and punch the dog. It wasn’t a smart move on his part - the K9 held his ground and Hunt was taken into custody.

"You don't tug on Superman's cape and you don't dare raise a hand to a dog, most especially our dog,'' Christian said. "That's not acceptable."

Over the years, Christian has successfully managed to balance the seriousness of law enforcement with a little bit of humor infused. “I just try to be me. I think it's important to bring humor where it is warranted,’’ he said. “I always felt like if I could make someone chuckle that may not be having the best day then I should try.”

He doesn’t labor over his words. They just come to him on the fly. “God blessed me with a sense of humor. I think he knew I would need it,’’ he said. “If you know me well, you know I try to find some humor in everything. I guess growing up as the baby of five prepared me for that. Self-defense is probably the answer.

Just recently, deputies responded to Center Point on a report of a man running nude through traffic. Once on the scene, they tried to take the man into custody but had trouble due to the fact the man was sweaty and very athletic, Christian. Once he was actually caught, he bit through the glove of a deputy.

“I guess the devil saw fit,’’ Christian said, “to give me one more naked guy before retiring.’’

Do you have a favorite Randy Christian comment we forgot to include? Tell us in the comments.