january 24 1997 - january 27 1997

January 24 1997 Had a really real dream about a dead fox with its eyes popped out. A repair man came over today to fix the TV. I’ve never seen him before but Mommy calls him Mr. Fletcher and she said he used to be friends with Daddy. I asked him about Daddy and he told me some funny stories of when they were in college. I love hearing stories about Daddy even though they make me sad. He fixed our TV and since he had time we played some chess together since I know how to play now! I really like him because he feels like a real daddy and not some random man. I had my door open a crack and I saw Mommy and Mr. Fletcher kissing before he left. I was excited but also scared so I told Mommy that I like him and don’t kiss other guys because I don’t want him going away like the others. She said ok but I hope she means it. When she left for book club I remembered a dream I had where the dark me led me into Mommy’s room where I’m not suppose to go. In the closet was a safe with buttons. I tried 5 12 30 but the combination is more numbers. I wish I could get in. I think that Mommy is hiding more from me and I don’t like it.

february 7 1997

February 7 1997 Today was the big day when I got inducted into the book club! Mommy called me out of school and we drove south for 5 hours to this old abandoned hospital lit by tons of candles. I wanted to speak to the skull man but first they wanted me to write the full club book again because it was tradition but they just teached me what was in it because I don’t write fast and we wouldn’t have time. There are just 3 laws instead of 10 like the bible. Secrecy Submission and Remembrance. We have to hide our identities from the outside world we have to submit to the club’s goals to better mankind and we have to study the truth that’s in the book. They say the big man promises immortality for us all in the fourth world. They said I was special because I am one of the few to ever have seen God. I had to say all these weird phrases like the poems the girl said but they were different poems. After that they gave me a mask and we drank a potion and they sang a song. When the big ceremony was over Mommy took me down a long hallway to another room. The skull man was there and she shut the door behind us. We were alone and I sat down across a table from him. He had a raspy old voice and a

february 7 1997

funny accent like Grandpa. He said I was allowed to ask him 3 questions but I can’t speak to anyone else about the answers not even Mommy. I asked why I was I chosen by Gorr'Rylaehotep. He said since I was born I was chosen for a divine mission to complete the great session because my blood is sacred and it is my birthright. He said that my Grandpa has a holy relic that a harbinger stole from God long ago but he doesn’t want to give it up and I am destined to retrieve it for him. He said I already know what it is from my dreams. I said the leather book and he said yes and that it is magical. I asked when will I be healed and he said once the book is rightfully returned to God. I didn’t know what else to ask because the black book answered a lot and I was nervous so I asked why he wears a skull mask and he said because it proves his covenant with God. I thanked the skull man and he said call me Henka.* Before we left Henka gave Mommy a box and she gave him some cash and we left. I knew the sound that the box made. My pills made that sound. When we walked to the parking lot people were dressed in normal clothes and I saw people I knew. I saw Johnathan from down the road and his wife.

february 7 1997 - february 8 1997

I saw the post office woman and her daughter and also the manager from the Mcdonalds near my house. Mr. Lindell the police man from our town was there because I know his car and I think I even saw Mr. Darvil because of his hair. I guess they keep good secrets. Mommy said she was proud of me again and I love you. I said I love you too. It felt good.

February 8 1997

Tomorrow we are going on the big boat trip. I found out it’s not just a big reunion but a party for Grandpa. Aunt Sharon told Mommy that we owe a lot to Grandpa Karl for getting the family into America after the war so for his 70 birthday she rented a private yaht with a captain and food service and everything to celebrate him. I guess Mommy and Grandpa still don’t like each other so I hope there is no fighting. The whole family is going to be there! Mommy said that along with Grandpa and Grandma going Noah and his parents will be coming. Also Aunt Jo and Tommy will

february 8 1997

be there and the Adler family too. Kevin wants to come but he can’t because the boat can only hold a number of people. I want to bring Oscar to show Noah and Tommy but he’d probably be afraid of the water and I don’t want to scare him. I’m really excited! I’ve never been on a boat before but I’ve read some books about sailing so I’m gonna pretend I’m a Navy sailor fighting in the war like Grandpa or a pirate searching for buried treasure. I hope I don’t get sea sick because I get car sick a lot or when I fly in a plane I feel like I’m gonna throw up. If Grandpa brings the magic book I might try to take it when he isn’t looking so I can give it to Mr. Gorr'Rylaehotep and be healed. I think Grandpa takes it wherever he goes because he’s guarding it. We are celebrating Grandpa but I’m not sure if he is a good man for keeping God’s stuff away from him for so long. I was so close before I should have just taken it and ran but I didn’t know how important it was. But I could feel the power when I held it. I forgot to ask Henka what’s gonna happen once it’s returned and if I will keep seeing Mr. Slim. I’ll ask him at the next book club.

*deadhead