THE final count for Queensland's election has been delayed until media bosses decide who should win.

Electoral Commission of Queensland representative Kiela Dules told Frisky Business the stall could either mean "a lack of direction or they're moulting their old skins".

"The decision to vote Newman out came early in the term, but the idea of a steady collapse came a few drinks later," Ms Dules said.

"We're expecting a result soon after voters stop being terrified of hung parliaments."

Documents discovered while senior LNP staffers weren't looking have revealed the proposed asset lease policy stalled because eBay only had a "sell" function.

One major asset failed to lease after the potential lessee turned out to be NSW Origin coach Laurie Daley making a prank call.

The LNP's electoral collapse was reportedly best captured when a former MP broke down in tears walking past a Coates Hire branch.

In-fighting over who would take the party's reins continued yesterday after LNP MP Ted Sorensen put his hand up for the Labor Party leadership by accident.

The Bureau of Meteorology has issued a warning for the entire Queensland coast as a category 5 cyclone prepares to make landfall "the second Labor takes government".

Greens party leaders spent the days following the election in a corner grinning madly at being the most stable party in the state.

Notices:

Next week's class on venting outrage that humans still have sex will be held at the Our Lady of Perpetual Pearl Clutching church between 5.00pm and 6.00pm

Frisky Business is a satire column. It is not real. My rigger uses natural fibre rope.