Since the airing of Shokugeki no Soma, an anime that has largely replaced Food Network, viewers have found themselves with diagnosed with eating disorders, including binge eating and anorexia.

“It was merely for vicarious eating and sexual arousement,”one now severely obese otaku tells Anime Maru.

Indeed, viewers had no idea potato wrapped in bacon would affect their palate in such a way that would elicit the onset of a disease.

Symptoms became much more obvious with the second week of the show’s airing, in which Soma’s Furikake Gohan drove watchers to madness. No longer satisfied by the mediocre omelette rice served at maid cafes, viewers were determined to find a dish of equal if not greater finesse than that of what they experienced through the medium of their screens. Their stated goal is to find the “correct balance of pleasure from taste and food porn” to fulfill their ramen sustained, deprived sexual lives.

As a result, some dedicated Shokugeki no Soma fans have embarked on crusades of tasting foods, hoping to stumble upon something as succulent as a custom made Erina’s eggs benedict or a Nine Vegetable Terrine that manages to make nature’s medicine (all things green) taste appealing. However, their ventures have grown progressively abject, creating a desperation that has stirred the guts of these anime fans. They are left chowing down through noms east and west, unable to stop and admit that there can be no food as tasty in the real world as the food is in the 2D world. Too sad a thought to dwell on, the self-proclaimed foodies continue to munch and have ultimately added inches onto their waste lines, risking a number of obesity related diseases. “If only those inches could be added to my bust. I would have liked to look like Erina,”one female who has been diagnosed with binge eating disorder stated.

On the other side of the spectrum, many have fallen victim to serious, life threatening disorders such as anorexia nervosa. After the vicarious experience of tasting the Mini Soufflé Omelette, viewers have developed enlightened food taste requirements such that no earthly food fulfills them, leaving only one option: rewatching episodes of Shokugeki no Soma and finding alternatives through Kofuku Graffiti or Yumeiro Patissiere. Unfortunately, while this option may be mentally fulfilling, the viewers’ bodies face horrible consequences. On the few days these people do come out of their houses, it is incredibly easy to notice the emaciated state they are in. “Skin, bones, and bags[under the eyes],” one normal day goer commented and then quickly cringed at the mental image.

“This isn’t a cry for attention. It wasn’t a choice. Would you tell a patient that their cancer was a choice?” one sickly thin adolescent teen asked, offended by the superficial eating disorder stereotype. Such a deeply philosophical question could not be processed by normal humans, leaving the National Institute of Mental Health groping for a long term solution while hospitals have been forced to implement calorie dense IV injections to sustain the massive number of living corpses. “It’s like the Kirito situation all over again,” one distressed nurse said as she hurried off to the next patient.

A Freudian psychologist proposed that the eating disorders actually stem from viewers’ dissatisfaction with their own bodies as compared to the resistant-to-over-eating-food, muscular, and/or curvy bodies portrayed in the anime. However, Hideakian psychologists vehemently disapprove of this hypothesis, convinced that it was animated culinary masterpieces that drove these otakus to binge eating or anorexia. Whichever is the real reason, the National Institute of Otaku Health hopes that Soma’s grilled squid tentacles dressed in peanut butter will sway viewers back to eating their cup ramen in normal amounts.

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