Things They May Never Tell You 002

1. Everyone is basically a liar, because you can’t possibly tell everyone the truth about everything - we’d never get anything done. That being said:

2. There are the people that, by default, prefer you to know what they’re thinking, and there are the people who, by default, prefer you not to know. Nobody’s good and nobody’s bad but it’s safer to keep to your half of the world.

3. To complicate things, there are people that think “Good Will Hunting” is a good movie, and there are people that cringe while watching it. There are honest people and dishonest people on both sides. And if you are an honest person that hated Good Will Hunting, you need to minimize your contact with dishonest people that loved it, and I don’t even want to get into why this gets nearly impossible to accomplish. Let’s just say that there has never been an easier lie to tell than “I hated Good Will Hunting,” and there has never been a lie more incentivized than “I thought it was fine.”

4. There’s no such thing as love. There’s infatuation, there’s obsession, there’s addiction, there’s ritualistic, compulsive repetition, there’s horniness, but there is no such thing as love.

5. I hate being alone. I hate waking up alone. I hate waking up with strangers. I hate my empty rented house on my dangerous winding street full of rednecks that can’t wait for an earthquake to kill me because I had a party once. I hate not having feelings. I hate having too many. I hate not being able to express them, I hate the way I express them, I hate people’s reactions to my expression of them. I hate people trying to cheer me up, I hate people casting me adrift, I hate being alone.

6. I hated being in a relationship. Every day in a relationship is a lie.

7. I hate Good Will Hunting. It’s a terrible film. It’s a crime. If you like it, I think you’re stupid. Remember the “apples” scene? Do you remember it? Really think about that scene. Are you smiling? Then I hate you. But thank you for being honest. I would hate you more for lying. Thank you for letting me hate you.

8. I love you.

9. I love my show.