The mayor of Paris, Anne Hidalgo, whose city faced a series of terrorist attacks in 2015, has sent her condolences to Manchester and urged people to stand firm against terrorism.

Hidalgo was one of the first to respond to news of the attack at an Ariana Grande concert on Monday evening, which brought back painful memories of the carnage she saw first-hand at Paris’s Bataclan music hall.

On 13 November 2015, terrorists carried out a series of bombings and shootings in the French capital leaving 130 people dead, including 89 at the Bataclan, where the American group Eagles of Death Metal were performing.

Hidalgo, who was at the Bataclan shortly after police stormed the building, described the scene as a “war zone”.

She told the Guardian her heart went out to the people of Manchester. “First I want to send my affection … this is such a terrible moment, an attack on youngsters, adolescents out having fun, enjoying themselves. My thoughts go to those parents who have lost children or someone close to them and for whom the physical and psychological consequences are so heavy,” she said.

“Parisians, who have suffered attacks, know the horrors into which the people of Manchester are plunged and know how it helps to have messages of affection and support to enable them to raise their heads, to stand strong and to carry on. We received many messages from all over the world and I can tell you this feeling of solidarity and support really helped. What is also important after such events is also for people to feel secure and protected.”

Hidalgo said a common sense of “fraternity” helped Parisians put aside feelings of hatred for the attackers and fear of others.

“We had to show we were stronger than that. I know Manchester is a city that already has a lot of character, I know the inhabitants of Manchester will find in their pride and strength a way to stand up together and it is essential to show that life, that friendship, that solidarity is stronger. This is the message we have to send to the terrorists.”

The mayor said she was reminded of the words of Antoine Leiris, who lost his wife Hélène in the Bataclan attack but who wrote in an open letter to the killers: “You will not have my hatred … no, I will not give you the satisfaction of hating you. You want it, but to respond to hatred with anger would be to give in to the same ignorance that made you what you are.”

Hidalgo said: “I remember those words and the message is not only will you not have our hate, but you will not have our liberty.

“A terrible event like this changes our lives and changes a city. Everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing at the time of the November and January 2015 attacks in Paris and it became a profound link between us. Paris is a city that likes to be outside, laughing, cultural, and something like this adds gravity, but it does not change our hunger for life. The drama we have lived through, adds something unifying to our collective experience.

“The positive force has to be in solidarity between human beings.”

She added: “Of course there is anger from the parents of victims, how can there not be when you take away someone’s child or loved ones, but people need help to carry on and this is an enormous work. Families (of victims) need practical help dealing with the authorities and the formalities in this terrible period that can be absolutely terrifying.

“I would say, don’t leave anyone in isolation, alone, in distress, this is very important. And don’t let people descend into hatred, or the rejection of others; help them move forward, accompany them in their grief.

“My message for the people of Manchester is that we send our love and we want them to know that they are not alone in their suffering.”