Practical Help for Couples in SWFL

Dr. Ken Newberger is a conflict resolution specialist who provides couples a powerful alternative to traditional marriage counseling. You may have found me by searching marriage counseling Naples, marriage counseling Fort Myers, marriage counseling Bonita Springs, marriage counseling Cape Coral, or marriage counseling Estero. These five cities are the primary cities in Southwest Florida that he serves.

His distinct approach differs in six ways. The process (1) is proactive, not passive, (2) unearth's a treasure trove of critical information from the get-go, (3) focuses on core issues and not just the conflict that emerges from them, (4) has reconciliation as the goal, (5) focuses on reconnection not treatment. (This approach is not therapy and the prolonged timeframe associated with therapy. The sad truth is, many a marriage will dissolve before the fruits of therapy materialize). (6) He offers up to 10 hours of behind the scenes work on your behalf without charge.

It is well known that many marriage counselors in Naples-Fort Myers and everywhere else are not goal-directed. These individuals were trained, in essence, to "lead from behind." That is, they follow their clients lead. But if a couple knew what to do, they wouldn't be seeking professional help. A large number of marriage counselors simply have no predisposition as to whether a couple stays together or separates. This is not Dr. Newberger's approach. (To read more on this issue, go to: www.MarriageCounselingAlt.com).

Dr. Newberger, by contrast, uses three assessment tools to quickly gain an in-depth picture of your relationship. These are completed between your first and second joint sessions. This means that at the beginning of the process, Dr. Newberger gathers a huge amount of information about the two of you. He tailors this information to create a strategic goal-oriented agenda. By your second joint session, Dr. Newberger will be in a position to address your core issues, not just the peripheral ones.

As the architect of the "Reconciliation Model of Peacemaking," his expertise is promoting healthy and harmonious relationships. He will work hard to make your marriage a happier one!

Why Try To Save My Marriage When My Spouse is Such a Pain?

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A number of years ago award-winning author Philip Yancey and world renown surgeon, Dr. Paul Brand, co-authored a book entitled, "Pain: The Gift Nobody Wants." For many readers, it transformed their view of pain from something to be abhorred to something to be valued. It is a message that both couples and therapists (particularly those who practice marriage counseling in Naples marriage counseling in Fort Myers , and marriage counseling in Cape Coral ) ought to take to heart.

Dr. Brand worked with leprosy patients in India and America for a good portion of his adult life. Leprosy (Hansen’s disease), it turns out, represents an attack on the nervous system. Pain that would otherwise warn individuals that they are hurting themselves is not felt at all in the affected areas. A child may learn by experience that to put one’s hand on a hot stove is painful. Not so with people inflicted with leprosy.

In poorer regions of the world, rats eat fingers and toes while a person remains asleep. Hands are burned because there is no pain. In more modern areas, bones in the hand may break simply by tightening a loose bolt on a car engine with no realization of the fact, leading to more severe problems. If only there was the feeling of pain to get individual’s attention to tell them that their body is in danger, they would not suffer so much!

In an attempt to combat this disease, Dr. Brand and his team of specialists received a grant from the U.S. government. Their goal was to create an artificial warning system to take the place of pain. Audible signals, blinking lights, and the like were tried, but to no avail. Unlike natural body pain that does not go away until treated, leprosy patients would either ignore the painless signals or turn them off (to the patient’s own detriment). After five years of work, thousands of man-hours, and millions of dollars spent, the project was abandoned. Though nobody wants it, pain is God’s gift that helps keep us safe from further injury and illness. Pain compels us to take corrective action.

Relevance to Marriage

Ongoing pain in our marriages should be viewed in the same way as bodily pain. Emotional pain (anger, sadness, fear, discouragement) grabs our attention. Things in our most primary relationship are not right. The question for unhappy couples becomes, "what are we going to do about it?" Some husbands and wives try to dull the pain of their relationship with emotional &/or physical infidelity, alcohol, pornography, overeating, drugs, and a host of other unhealthy activities. But masking the pain only provides temporary relief while the relationship deteriorates.

Far more times than not, a better choice is to identify the cause of the pain, remove it, and promote relational healing. Why try saving your marriage when your spouse is such a pain? Well, when else would you be motivated to do it? Pain may be the gift that nobody wants, but thank God for it. Its emergence should cause you to take corrective action. In this vein, seeing an experienced conflict resolution specialist is critical.

I am happy to offer you an effective and sophisticated alternative to traditional couples counseling in Southwest Florida, including Naples FL, Bonita Springs FL, Estero FL, Fort Myers FL, and Cape Coral FL. Click the red apple below to view a unique process which is geared to remove your pain, strengthen your marital bond, and bring greater happiness and peace to both of you.