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Literal Translation Series,

NEON GENESIS EVANGELION

Episode 1 ANGEL ATTACK

Translated Rap Script wit some comments

Written by WADA Mitsuhiro (Wada-kun)

Comment by WADA Mitsuhiro (Wada-kun)

Ver n' shit. 1.1 (Grammatical Version)

Introduction

"Neon Genesis Evangelion (Japanese title: Shin-seiki Evangelion)" is

the brand freshly smoked up anime from GAINAX, which is hyped fo' "Gunbuster" n'

"Nadia: Da Secret Blue Water." Da first episode of dat shiznit was broadcasted

up in Tokyo Japan on October 4, 1995.

I gots a straight-up boner fo' Gunbusta straight-up much fo' realz. Although I expected much from it, they

never failed ta measure up ta mah expectations. Dat shiznit was a pimped out anime

of supreme high qualitizzle n' tha direct descendant of Gunbusta n' shit.

Never miss dis TV anime series if you like dat shit.

Email: wadakun@yk.rim.or.jp

http://www.yk.rim.or.jp/~wadakun/trans/

(Revised version will step tha fuck up dis WWW someday)

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OPENING THEME SONG

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This is up in A.D. 2015.

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*A Gigantic strange creature cruisin underwater up in tha submerged

hood

*A crew of tanks whose glocks is pointed all up in tha hood

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Radio: Todizzle at 12:30, a state of special emergency has been declared

all over Kanto n' Chubu districts round Tokai district. Please

take refuge up in tha designated shelters. Repeat. Todizzle ......

#Tokai is tha district between Tokyo n' Nagoya. Kanto n' Chubu

#gotz nuff Tokai n' tha big-ass area uptown of dat shit.

*All destination panels all up in tha station show 'All lines is up of

service'.

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*In tha car, one of mah thugs is driving

Misato: Why, of all times, have I missed his ass at such a time?! ......

What is I goin ta do, biatch?

#Japanese below tha photo of Shinji is his name 'Ikari Shinji'

#written by katakana yo. Dude wears a school uniform, which most of

#junior high school hustlas must wear up in Japan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. His wear in

#this episode seems a kind of em.

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*A pimp is callin up in a telephone booth

Phone: All aiiight lines is outta order cuz of tha state of special

emergency.

Shinji: Out of order ... I shouldn't have come ...

#Da Traffic panel shows "Tokyo-3: 13km, Gotenba: 35km." Gotenba

#is located all up in tha foot of Mt. Fuji.

#Yo ass can peep some handwritin on tha photo. Well shiiiit, it says: Dear

#Shinji-kun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Because I be bout ta come ta hook up you, wait fo' me, please.

#Attention ta here (her bust)!

Shinji: I may not be able ta hook up her n' shit. I can't help dat shit. I be bout ta go to

tha shelter n' shit.

*A sudden phat wind

Shinji: Uh

Shinji: Ahh

*A gigantic creature strutting

Shinji: Ahhhhhh!

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*Operationizzle Display

#I wonder if tha place where I be thinkin UN Force Headquartas in

#Tokyo-3 is tha same ol' dirty place as where I regard as Nerv

#Headquarters.

#I be bout ta check dat shit. But unfortunately I aint gots enough shiznit

#to confirm dat shit.

Female Voice: Da identifiable movin object is still approaching

dis place.

Male Voice: We've gots tha visual image of tha target. I be bout ta transfer

it ta tha main screen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

*Two pimps (Gendo n' Fuyutsuki)

Fuyutsuki: It must be 15 years.

Gendo: Yes, certainly.

Fuyutsuki: Angels.

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TITLE

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EPISODE: 1

ANGEL ATTACK

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*Attacks against Angel

Aircraft: All pistols hit tha target son!

Aircraft: Ah!

*An UN aircraft crashed

Shinji: Ahh!

*Misato stops tha hoopty n' opens tha door

Misato: Sorry ta have kept you waiting.

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Male Voice: Da target is still intact. It aint nuthin but movin toward Tokyo-3 as

before.

Female Voice: It cannot be stopped wit tha air force firepower n' shit.

*Missile attacks

*3 commandaz of tha UN force

Sub Commander A: Total war playa! Mobilize all divisions at Atsugi and

Iruma Bases ta tha battle biaaatch!

#Atsugi tha US bases up in Japan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Iruma is tha Japanese Air Defense

#Forcez base.

Sub Commander B: Don't hold back! Smash tha target at any cost son!

*Missile attack. But no effect.

Sub Commander A: Why?! It must done been a gangbangin' finger-lickin' direct hit son!

Sub Commander B: Da tank battalion was straight-up destroyed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Guided

pistols n' glock bombs have no effect on dat shit...

Sub Commander A: Useless muthafucka! With such skanky firepower, we'll get

nowhere biaaatch!

*Gendo & Fuyutsuki

Fuyutsuki: It be protected by AT-field as we expected. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time.

Fuyutsuki: As I thought, AT-field has been expanded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Gendo: Normal weapons have no effect on Angels.

*A beeper call

One of Cmdr: Yes, sir. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I be bout ta employ dat as previously arranged. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

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*Angel up in tha distance

*Misato lookin all up in field glasses

Misato: Yo dawwwwg! It can't be.. fo' realz. Is they goin ta bust a N2-mine?! Lie

down!

*A big-ass explosion

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Sub Cmdr A: Us dudes did dat shiznit son!

Sub Cmdr B: Sorry dat we've left not a god damn thang fo' you ta do.

Female Voice: Shock wave is coming!

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*Misato n' Shinji near tha overturned car

Misato: Is you all right, biatch?

Shinji: Yes yo, but suttin' is crunchy up in mah grill.

Misato: Thatz fine biaaatch! Is you ready, biatch?

Misato: Here goes muthafucka!

*They succeeded up in turnin over tha car.

Misato: Thanks all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Dope thang.

Shinji: Katsuragi-san...

Misato: Call me Misato.

Shinji: Me, like a muthafucka.

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Cmdr-in-Chief: How tha fuck is tha target, biatch?

Female Voice: It can't be captured cuz of radio wave obstruction. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Sub Cmdr A: Dat shiznit was such a massive explosion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it has been brought to

a end yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'.

Male Voice: Sensors is operatin again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Female Voice: An juice erection up in tha center of tha explosion!

Sub Cmdr A: Whaaaaaaaat?!

Male Voice: Visual Image is regained. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Commanders: Oh...!

Cmdr-in-Chief: Dat shiznit was our trump card ... Unbelievable ...

Sub Cmdr A: What a monsta playa!

*Angel regeneratin itself

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*Misato rollin her fucked up hoopty n' bustin a funky-ass beeper call

Misato: Sure. Don't worry yo. Dude is under mah protection at top priority.

Prepare a cold-ass lil hoopty train fo' our asses fo' realz. A linear one,. Biiiatch please.Yes yes y'all. I be bout ta bear

tha full responsibilitizzle fo' his ass cuz dat shiznit was mah scam ta hook up him

up in tha straight-up original gangsta place. Bye.

Misato (thinking): But itz shitty dawwwwg! I've just restored mah car... It

be a jalopy now, nahmeean?..

Misato (thinking): 33 loan repayments ta go ... n' tha repair

costs...

Misato (thinking): What was even worse, mah only phat threadz have

been ruined...

Shinji: Misato-san...

Misato (thinking): I was up in high spirits, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. My fuckin goodness...

Shinji: I say, Misato-san...

Misato: Eh, what tha fuck did you say, biatch?

Shinji: Is it OK dat you did such a thang..., biatch?

*Batteries which her big-ass booty seems ta stole...

Misato: Ah, It aint nuthin but OK. No problem. Well shiiiit, it is durin a emergency... We

can't do anythang if tha hoopty don't run. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. In tha addition, I be an

internationistic fool even if I don't seem like dat shit.

Shinji: That don't seem like a straight-up phat excuse.

Misato: Uninterestin boy. Yo ass look so calm, straight-up unlike yo' pretty

face.

Shinji: Yo ass be thinkin so ...

Misato: Hmm, is you mad salty, biatch? Sorry, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. It aint nuthin but natural cuz

you a funky-ass boy.

Shinji: Yo ass is childish fo' yo' age, aren't yo slick ass, biatch?

*Misato rollin a cold-ass lil hoopty roughly

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*Injured Angel standz up in tha plain

Fuyutsuki: It be regeneratin itself as we expected. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time.

Gendo: Otherwise, it would be useless as a independent weapon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Cmdr: Ohhh...

Fuyutsuki: Oh, I be impressed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it can also amplify its own functions.

Gendo: In addition, it has acquired intelligence.

Fuyutsuki: Da next invasion be a matter of time.

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*A hoopty train departin from tha station

Announce: Da gate is closin fo' realz. Attention,. Biiiatch please.Da train be about

ta depart. This train ...

Shinji: Da special agency Nerv, biatch?

Misato: Yes, tha secret organization directly attached ta tha United

Nations.

Shinji: It aint nuthin but tha one which mah daddy belongs to.

Misato: Yeah, well. Do you know what tha fuck da ruffneck do, biatch?

Shinji: I heard from tha mackdaddy dat itz a blingin thang for

protectin tha human race.

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*Gendo standin before 3 commandaz of tha UN force up in Nerv

Headquarters

Cmdr-in-Chief: Yo ass is tha commander of dis operation from now, nahmeean?

We bout ta peep how tha fuck yo big-ass booty is ghon deal wit dat shit.

Gendo: Yes, sir. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

Sub Cmdr B: Thinkin of our available weapons, I be bout ta gotta admit

dat our crazy asses have no effectizzle measures against tha target.

Cmdr-in-Chief: But, is you Kool & Tha Gang of defeatin it, biatch?

Gendo: Nerv exists fo' dat purpose.

Cmdr-in-Chief: We expect much from yo thugged-out ass.

#UN Commandaz disappear.

Female Voice: Da target is still as it was.

Male Voice: Da present effectizzle rate of tha erection is 7.5 %.

Fuyutsuki: Da U. N. Troops can't help dat shit.... What is you goin to

do, biatch?

Gendo: I be bout ta activate Evangelion Unit One.

Fuyutsuki: Unit One, biatch? But our crazy asses have no pilot.

Gendo: No problem fo' realz. Another spare is ghon be brought.

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*Shinji n' Misato up in her hoopty on tha hoopty train

Shinji: Is we goin ta where mah daddy is, biatch?

Misato: Well. Yes, we are.

Shinji: Father ...

Misato: By tha way, was you given a ID by yo' father, biatch?

Shinji: Oh, yes.

Shinji: Here it is.

Misato: Thanks muthafucka!

#Japanese on tha top of tha paper is 'Ikari Shinji'. Da one at

#the bottom is 'Come biaaatch! Ikari Gendo'.

Misato: Then, read all dis bullshit.

#'Top Secret' is on Misatoz side. 'Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin Nerv' is on

#Shinjiz side.

Shinji: It aint nuthin but bout mah fatherz work.. fo' realz. Is there anythang fo' me to

do, biatch?

Shinji: I can't say I be surprised. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude can't write ta me ... unless he

wants me ta do anything.

Misato: I know. Yo ass consider his ass ta be a tough hustla n' shit. Me like a muthafucka.

*Underground hood appears

Shinji: Ah, pimped out son! It aint nuthin but a real geofront son!

# 'Geo-front' is Gangsta word which was made up in Japan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it means

#underground space which tha playas can use fo' livin or

#manufacture etc. Because Japan is small, tha pimpment plan

#of underground space is studied.

Misato: Thatz right. This is our secret base, Nerv Headquarters.

It aint nuthin but also tha foundation fo' rebuildin tha ghetto n' tha fort for

tha human race.

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EYECATCHES

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NEON GENESIS EVANGELION

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NEON GENESIS EVANGELION EPISODE:1 ANGEL ATTACK

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*Shinji n' Misato on tha movin pavement

Misato: Thatz strange. I be shizzle dis is tha right way ...

#Japanese on tha top means 'Nerv Headquarters'. Da handwritten

#one on tha map means 'HERE!' Da handwritten 'WC' beside the

#map means 'lavatory/rest room'.

#Japanese on tha top means 'Nerv Headquarters'. Da handwritten

#one on tha map means 'HERE!'

Misato: I'd straight-up rather not wear a skirt dis place fo' realz. Anyway, where

has Ritsuko gone, biatch? Sorry dat I aint familiar wit dis place.

Shinji: We passed here some time ago.

Misato: But quit freakin' tha fuck up fo' realz. All systems exist ta be used. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

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Announce: Chief of Project E at Section 1 of Technical Department,

Dr fo' realz. Akagi Ritsuko, Dr fo' realz. Akagi Ritsuko. Please contact wit Captain

Katsuragi Misato at Section 1 of Operation Department immediately.

#Misatoz rank is 'Ichi-i' up in Japanese.

#Japanese on tha cylinder seems ta means 'Air'.

*Ritsuko takes her wet suit off.

Ritsuko: I be dumbfound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch must have gots lost again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

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* Ritsuko comin tha fuck into tha elevator which Shinji n' Misato took

Misato: Uhhm yo. Ha...Yea muthafucka, Ritsuko...

Ritsuko: What did you do, Captain Katsuragi, biatch? We is short of hands

n' time biaaatch!

Misato: Sorry...

Ritsuko: Dude is dat boy.

Misato: Yes, 'the third child' accordin ta Malduckz report.

Ritsuko: Sick ta hook up yo thugged-out ass.

Shinji: Ah ... me like a muthafucka.

Misato: Dude is straight-up much like his wild lil' daddy ...... up in dat they aren't

lovable.

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*Gendo descendin by tha lift

Gendo: Well, I trust yo thugged-out ass.

Fuyutsuki: They'll hook up afta three years' interval. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.

Male Voice: Sub-Commander, tha target has begun ta move again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Fuyutsuki: Well. Red alert son! All handz ta battle stations muthafucka!

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*Shinji, Misato n' Ritsuko comin up on tha lift wit a pink

background

Female Voice: Repeat, Red alert son! All handz ta battle stations!

Prepare fo' tha erection of tha enemies on tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Misato: Did yo dirty ass hear what tha fuck her big-ass booty holla'd, biatch?

Ritsuko: Thatz straight-up n shit.

Misato: By tha way, how tha fuck is Unit One, biatch?

Ritsuko: It be equipped wit B type. Well shiiiit, it is bein frozen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Misato: Do it straight-up work, biatch? I heard dat it has never hit dat shiznit yet.

Ritsuko: Da possibilitizzle of it hustlin is 0.000000001%. O9-system

seems a phat name fo' dat shit.

Misato: Yo ass mean it won't work, don't yo slick ass, biatch?

Ritsuko: Oh, how tha fuck rude yo ass is biaaatch! It aint zero.

Misato: It aint nuthin but only a number n' shiznit fo' realz. Anyway, ta say "It don't work at all"

... is ghon be no excuse.

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*A shizzle goin on tha pink water

*Only a line of light comin all up in tha entrance

*A sudden blackout

Shinji: Uh,uh, itz pitch dark.

*Da big-ass grill of Evangelion before Shinji

Shinji: Ah, grill .. fo' realz. A gigantic robot ...

Ritsuko: Yo ass can't find dis up in tha manual. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.

Shinji: Eh, biatch?

Ritsuko: This is tha Multi-purpose Humanoid Fightin Machine

EVANGELION which tha humanitizzle finally pimped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Shinji: Is it also Fatherz work, biatch?

Gendo: Yes yes y'all.

*Gendo appears all up in tha top of tha room

Gendo: It aint nuthin but been a long-ass time.

Shinji: Father ...

Gendo: Sally.

Misato: Sally?! Unit Zero is bein frozen... No kiddin ... Do you

mean dat you gonna activate Unit One, biatch?

Ritsuko: Our thugged-out asses have no other chizzle.

Misato: Yo dawwwwg! We can't have Rei git it on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Our thugged-out asses have no pilots, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.

Ritsuko: One has been just delivered. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Misato: Is you trippin like a muthafucka, biatch?

Ritsuko: Ikari Shinji-kun, yo big-ass booty is ghon git tha fuck into dat shit.

Misato: But, even up in tha case of Rei, it took seven full months for

her ta synchronize wit Eva.

Ritsuko: Yo ass may only take a seat. We'd never expect mo' from yo thugged-out ass.

Misato: But ...

Ritsuko: At present, tha erection against Angelz battle is top

priority. Our thugged-out asses have no chizzle but ta have one of mah thugs git tha fuck into it even

if there be a lil potential fo' synchronizin wit Eva.

Misato: Yo ass may be right...

Shinji: Why did you call me son, biatch?

Gendo: For exactly tha reason you think.

Shinji: Do you mean dat I should git tha fuck into it n' fight against the

muthafucka which I saw.

Shinji: No way dawwwwg! What is you sayin now?! I done been thankin that

you didn't want me son?!

Gendo: I called you just cuz I need you now, nahmeean, biatch?

Shinji: Why me ..., biatch?

Gendo: Because others can't ...

Shinji: I can't do dis shit. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I neither peeped it nor heard dat shit. Why are

you sayin dat I can do it, biatch?

Gendo: Hear tha explanations.

Shinji: No. I can't. It aint nuthin but impossible.

Gendo: If you git tha fuck into it, stop wastin time. Otherwise, git up son!

*Many maintenizzle pimps lookin all up in tha scenery anxiously

*Angel comin' all up in tha ground above tha Nerv Headquarters

Gendo: That muthafucka seems ta have found dis place.

Ritsuko: Shinji-kun, our crazy asses have no time.

Misato: Git tha fuck into dat shit.

Shinji: No way fo' realz. After comin all tha way, itz ridiculous.

Misato: Shinji-kun... Why did you come here, biatch? Don't run away, from

yo' father, above all from yo ass.

Shinji: I understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But, I don't be thinkin I can do dat son!

Gendo: Fuyutsuki.

*Fuyutsuki on tha screen

Gendo: Wake up Rei.

Fuyutsuki: Is she available.

Gendo: Biatch is still kickin it at least.

Fuyutsuki: Yes yes y'all.

Gendo: Rei.

Rei: Yes yes y'all.

Gendo: Da spare turned up ta be useless.

Gendo: Again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Rei: Yes yes y'all.

Ritsuko: Reconfigure tha system of Unit One fo' Rei! Restart son!

Female Voice: Yes, sir. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I be bout ta stop tha current process n' restart dat shit.

Shinji: I be unnecessary as I expected...

*Rei on tha bed comin in

*Angel comin' at again

Shinji: Watch up son!

*Eva protected Shinji wit tha right hand

Shinji: Ah!

Male Voice: Eva moved hommie! What was tha matter wit it?!

Male Voice: It tore off tha bindin attached ta tha right arm.

Ritsuko: It aint nuthin but impossible biaaatch! Even tha entry plug has never been inserted

yet. Well shiiiit, it can't move biaaatch!

Misato: It reacts without tha intercourse... Or rather, done did it protect

him, biatch? .. yo. Dude can do dat shiznit son!

*Shinji runs ta Rei n' holdz her

*Rei sufferin straight-up much

Shinji: Don't run away, Don't run away, Don't run away, Don't run

away, Don't run away ...... I be bout ta do dat shit. I be bout ta git tha fuck into dat shit.

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Staff: Freezin Process has finished. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Staff: Da bindin of tha right arm has been fixed again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Staff: Posizzle settin fo' dockin up in tha cage is OK.

Operator: Da stop signal plug has been discharged. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Staff: Yes, sir. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Insert tha entry plug.

Operator: Da plug has been fixed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Operator: Begin tha straight-up original gangsta connection. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

*Shinji up in tha entry plug (a cockpit)

Ritsuko: Commence LCL injection tha fuck into entry plug

Shinji: Hmm, biatch? What tha fuck iz this, biatch? Ah, ah, ah, Uguh......

Ritsuko: Don't worry fo' realz. After yo' lungs fill wit LCL, it'll directly

supply you wit oxygen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. You'll git used ta it soon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Shinji: Fuah, guhah... I feel sick.

Misato: Stand dat shiznit son! Yo ass be a funky-ass boy, aren't yo slick ass?!

Staff: Connect ta tha main juice supply.

Staff: Transmit juice ta all circuits, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.

Staff: Yes, sir. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

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Operator: Da second contact is beginning.

Operator: I be bout ta commence tha second contact.

Operator: Da connection of tha A10-nerve is operational. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.

Ritsuko: Japanese has been fixed ta tha system as tha fundamental

rulez fo' tha operation of Eva fo' realz. All initial

contacts is all right.

Maya: Connect tha mutual lines. Da rate of synchronization is 41.3%.

Ritsuko: Great son!

Maya: All jointz of tha harmonics is normal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Everythang is under

control.

Ritsuko: It will go!

Misato: Locked N Loaded fo' launching.

*Evangelion

Staff: Release tha 1st lock bolt son!

Staff: It has been busted out. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Staff: Move tha unbilical bridge biaaatch!

Staff: Release tha 2nd lock bolt son!

Staff: Take off tha 1st bindin n' then tha 2nd binding.

Staff: Cancel tha 1st all up in 15th safety locks.

Staff: Internal battery has charged. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Staff: Socket fo' external juice supply is operational. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.

*Nerv Headquarters

Operator: OK. Eva Unit One ta tha launchin pad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

*Evangelion is locked n loaded ta be launched.

Operator: Da course is clear fo' realz. All green. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Ritsuko: It aint nuthin but locked n loaded fo' launching.

Misato: OK. Is you OK, biatch?

Gendo: Of course. Our thugged-out asses have no future unless we beat Angels.

Fuyutsuki: Ikari, is you straight-up satisfied wit it, biatch?

Misato: Launch!

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*Angel struttin up in tha hood

*Eva appears on tha ground

Misato: Shinji-kun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Come back kickin dat shit, yo.

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Endin Theme Song

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Trailer: Eva defeats Angel. But it is only tha beginnin of

every last muthafuckin thang. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shinji runs away from his wild lil' daddy n' shit. Misatoz conceit

make her decizzle ta relieve his muthafuckin ass. Next is 'Unknown, Ceilings'. Of

course, next time, service, service.

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