Just as God led Moses to Mount Sinai to receive the Ten Commandments, so He led Faith Christian Center pastor Gene Lingerfelt to 6900 U.S. Highway 287 in Arlington, Texas, to become the bearer of His Word. As befits the digital age, He has swapped stone tablets for Twitter and timeless maxims with snarky, up-to-the-second political and social commentary.

We present below His teachings on the government shutdown, as channeled through his appointed messenger here on earth. The message has been lightly abridged but otherwise untouched, since such lofty spiritual matters are far beyond our understanding. We offer no further comment other than to say that Robert Jeffress better step up his game, and to note that the agents of Satan must have scrubbed Lingerfelt's Twitter account.

Because he hates America, Zero will make the #shutdown as painful as possible. Still, except for the media and parasites, no one will care. — Gene Lingerfelt (@GeneLingerfelt) October 1, 2013

The #shutdown is what America gets for TWICE electing a petulant child Marxist drama queen for Pres. (Yes, I used "queen" on purpose.) — Gene Lingerfelt (@GeneLingerfelt) October 1, 2013

With Federal Government shut down, does that mean that my tax dollars will stop being sent to the #Al-Qaeda #terrorists in #Syria? — Gene Lingerfelt (@GeneLingerfelt) October 1, 2013

With Federal Government shut down, does that mean that my tax dollars will stop being sent to the #PlannedParenthood #terrorists? — Gene Lingerfelt (@GeneLingerfelt) October 1, 2013

W/Fed Govt shut down, does that mean that #NASA will no longer be able to work at making Muslims feel better about their Stone Age culture? — Gene Lingerfelt (@GeneLingerfelt) October 1, 2013

With Federal Government shut down, does that mean the Department of Education will have to STOP making homosexual porn flicks? — Gene Lingerfelt (@GeneLingerfelt) October 1, 2013

W/Fed Govt shut down, does that mean that my tax dollars will stop being sent to Public Schools to teach homosexual fisting to 3rd graders? — Gene Lingerfelt (@GeneLingerfelt) October 1, 2013

Can we shut down the Federal Government until January 2017 when the petulant Marxist man-child has to stop taking Government-paid vacations? — Gene Lingerfelt (@GeneLingerfelt) October 1, 2013

When you have a petulant teenage daughter--like Obozo--sometimes an adult just has to take away the car keys. — Gene Lingerfelt (@GeneLingerfelt) October 1, 2013

Democrats can't have rally. KKK rally at Gettysburg Military Park canceled due to gov't shutdown: http://t.co/LVL8avHFkS — Gene Lingerfelt (@GeneLingerfelt) October 1, 2013

Liberals are SO stupid, they are now calling NOT spending money (via Govt shut down) "terrorism." But Muslim rape, murder & bombing isn't. — Gene Lingerfelt (@GeneLingerfelt) October 1, 2013

Had some non-working Govt-dependent Millennial liberals drop me today & send nasty tweets. Oh well, when you make your own $ you don't care. — Gene Lingerfelt (@GeneLingerfelt) October 1, 2013