Paula Kaplan, the head of talent at AwesomenessTV, a digital media company focused on teen content, says she can spot nervous parents a mile away. As a veteran entertainment executive who spent over 20 years at Nickelodeon, she knows how the entertainment industry can warp the bond between teens and their parents. One piece of advice she gives to mothers and fathers is to “hire some people who know what they’re doing and can help you. Look for people who have an actual track record and [who] let parents actually be the parents.”

At AwesomenessTV, “we want parents to know the same information as the kids,” Kaplan says. “We work really closely with YouTube and Instagram and are happy to facilitate those conversations. It really is a different world for these parents, they didn’t grow up with social media. And that can be intimidating.”

“You think you’re doing right by your child, but it’s hard when you don’t know what you’re doing,” says Tiff Lewis, the mother of Madison Lewis, a Musical.ly star with over 2.5 million fans. “She’s just on here having fun as a kid, but then you realize, well, she could make a lot of money off this. Is that a smart thing we should do? It was scary as a parent not knowing who to turn to. Then a little more than a year ago, she had management start to come after her and take over, and again I had to wonder whether that was the right move. How do you know if any of this is what’s really best?”

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Parents of teen social-media stars aren’t just plagued by existential fears, but more immediate, physical threats, too. A parent’s most basic instinct is to protect their child, and when a crowd of thirsty fans descends, it can be scary.

Margaret Fitzpatrick, the mother of Alli Fitzpatrick, a former Vine star and current YouTuber with several million followers across her many platforms, says that she spent most of her first trip to New York with Alli in shock. She arrived early to one planned meet-up in a New York park to find a huge crowd of girls crying and chanting Alli’s name. “I was like, are they talking about my Alli? It was crazy.” She says she felt nervous for Alli’s safety when she realized that the crowd would be difficult to control if things got out of hand.

And things regularly do get out of hand.

When the Dolan Twins, brothers with over 5 million followers on YouTube, tried to organize an impromptu meet-up in November in London’s Hyde Park, things quickly spiraled out of control. They were forced to cancel the appearance before they even arrived due to lack of crowd control. And despite the cancellation, thousands of teens still descended on the park, wreaking havoc and reportedly trampling each other.

Because of how quickly things can go awry, most parents I spoke with try to limit the times their children are in public without protection. This leads to families’ lives being severely restricted in terms of things they do together. Family movie nights at the local theater are canceled. Birthday dinners are held in private rather than at a public restaurant. If the family wants to travel to Disney World or attend a concert, prior arrangements must be made.