Groundhog Day 2011 results: Spring!

By Alexandra Petri

Whenever I try to write about Groundhog Day, I always get the creeping sense that it's been done before...

"Did the groundhog see his shadow?" everyone asks. "Will Mubarak remain in office for seven more months?" I'm sorry, that's not the question. But the answer is in!

But now the unspellable Punxsutawney Phil (and Staten Island Chuck) have both peered from their holes and concurred: no shadow, no more winter!

For those of you who have been holding your breath about this, you can stop now, although I urge you to take a moment to think about what this says about you, and to maybe apologize to your family and co-workers. Are that many calendars with inspirational daily messages a right or a privilege? Ask yourself this.

Groundhog Day could be viewed as a commentary on the nature of modern celebrity. A cute, hairy creature has become famous for doing something with minimal accuracy because he is surrounded by men in funny hats. Subtract two legs and a tail and that's the Justin Bieber narrative all over. Sure, Phil is only right 39 percent of the time, but that's more than Mel Gibson.

Of course, you could also see this as a statement about our views on prognostication. When it comes to the weather, we still seem convinced that the old ways work best. Sure, we have doppler radar and weather balloons and large, in-depth wall-sized graphics of pressure fronts and low-pressure fronts and Amy Chua standing next to clouds looking disappointed, but do we trust it? In most lives, the Weather Channel is just a form of continuous fiction for people whose self-images prevent them from getting really invested in General Hospital. And no matter what Thundersnow or Snowpocalypse or Snowki or what-have-you our prognosticators conjure up, whom do we trust?

A groundhog, surrounded by men in funny hats. I hope he's right.

Update, 3:45 P.M.: Over at the BlogPost, my colleague Melissa Bell ponders whether Punxsutawney Phil is really the right species for prognostication!