By Chris Bovey

The Conservative MPs have finally eliminated all but two of the contenders to be the next unelected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

As expected, BoJo the Clown is on the ticket topping the vote with the backing of 160 Tory MPs, just over half of them.

The Arch Nemesis of virtually every healthcare professional in the UK, Jeremy Hunt, tipped the equally insidious Michael Gove by just two votes securing the backing of 77 Tory MPs, which will put him on the ballot of the geriatric membership of the Conservative Party who will appoint our next unelected Prime Minister.

Both of them were former Remainers, although BoJo switched sides at the last minute before the referendum stabbing his old Etonian friend, David Cameron, in the back to support the Leave campaign and roam around the country on a bus with lies written on the side, funded by dodgy donations that are currently under investigation by the National Crime Agency.

Narcissistic bumbling blob

The former London Major infamously wrote two speeches, one in favour of remaining in the EU and another against, before deciding which horse to back. The fact he has a string of pro-EU statements as a matter of public record seems not to deter many Tories from seeing through the fact he is a narcissistic bumbling blob that would say anything to get into power.

Writing in the Daily Telegraph in May 2014, Boris Johnson wrote that if Britain left the EU, “we would have to recognise that most of our problems are not caused by Bwussels” [sic].

In his article, titled ‘Quitting the EU won’t solve our problems, says Boris Johnson,’ he responded that, “the question of EU membership is no longer of key importance to the destiny of this country”.

He used to also be a big fan of the European Single Market that was championed by Margaret Thatcher.

“I would vote to stay in the single market,” Johnson told Sky News in 2013.

You can even see him enthusiastically endorse the Single Market for yourself …

Boris Johnson speaking before the referendum: “I would vote to stay in the single market. I’m in favour of the single market.” pic.twitter.com/UCeifCf0dC Boris Johnson speaking before the referendum: “I would vote to stay in the single market. I’m in favour of the single market.” pic.twitter.com/UCeifCf0dC — Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) October 2, 2016

Hunt campaigned to stay in the European Union, but after seeing how well the government have handled the Brexit negotiations, he’s become a staunch Leaver. No doubt preparing himself as the person for the top job to get the best deal from Brussels, as Foreign Secretary, he compared the European Union to the Soviet Union in last year’s annual Tory Party conference. That’s really going to endear him to his fellow European leaders.

Taking back control

The fraudulent Brexit referendum was over three years ago. I can’t remember every lie they told and even if I could there are too many to list in a short opinion piece blog. I do remember one big claim from the Leave campaign, which Mr Hunt at the time was campaigning against, that was something about taking back control.

I’m not a member of the Conservative Party, although a few years back a friend tricked me once into sponsoring the local Totnes Conservative Club’s darts team which had the logo of my cannabis seed bank, complete with a cannabis leaf on the t-shirts of the Tory team, which somewhat bemused me.

The Conservatives are a bit coy about their membership figures. The figure being mooted by the MSM is around 130,000, although last year, a former Tory Party Charmain, Grant Shapps, a person likely to be privy to such information, let it slip the number of Tory Party members is as low as 70,000.

That was 18-months ago. Given they scored their worst result ever in a national election since they were formed in 1834 with a feeble 8.8% of the vote in last month’s Euro elections, I can’t imagine their vote membership has gone up, but let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and assume there are 130,000 people on this island doolally enough to actually pay to be a member of the Nasty Party, that means the vote to be our next PM will be decided by just under 0.2% of the population.

Even before the Great Reform Act of 1832 that abolished the rotten boroughs, a higher percentage of the population had a say in the election of a British Prime Minister.

Taking back control

If the Bookies’ favourite, BoJo, secures the top job, he has hinted he would attempt to bypass Parliament to push through a ‘no-deal’ Brexit that the majority of people in this country do not want.

That’s some real fine taking back control there to allow the dwindling geriatric coffin dodging members of the Conservative Party that at best consists of 0.2% (likely lower) of the population to put the fate of this country into the hands of a sociopathic serial liar with a track record of gaffes and bad judgement, as well as wasting vast amounts of taxpayers’ money on ludicrous failed projects, into Number 10 Downing Street.

BoJo is almost certain to woo the membership of the Tory party which consists mainly of very old people and Nazis to install himself as the First Lord of the Treasury and Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

We have Trump, Brexit, why not go the whole hog and show the Universe we have actually gone bat shit crazy by putting Boris into Downing Street. At least stand-up comedians will not be lost for material if this opportunistic bungling clown becomes Prime Minister. Jonathan Pie will be cuming in his pants.