They want and crave company. They need opportunities to be with friends and associates.

They love to talk, laugh, spar, and joke.

They like to work on projects together with their SO

They like to teach

They like to dream with someone else about crazy ideas. It’s a bonding activity for them.



Here is how you dream with someone else: Explore the idea by assuming it will work. What cool things could happen if it were true? Don’t criticize it. If you have a criticism, ask a question instead. E.g.: “How would you deal with X?” Ask questions to draw out as much of the idea as possible.

Here is how you dream with someone else:

They like to work on puzzles with other people

Details are generally frustrating to ENFP’s. They can plan a great big vacation, but they’ll need help figuring out what to pack. They can clean a room, but don’t expect them to put things back in the right place, or to notice little bits of dirt or untidiness. They may need help remembering names, places, and little events. Offer to proof-read their emails before they send them.



They like to go by their gut. They need room in their life to make spontaneous decisions.

They like being surprised. (REALLY!!!) Even if they don’t like the thing you surprised them with, they will try their best to pretend to like it because they don’t want to discourage you from surprising them in the future. They love surprises. An ENFP would be perfectly happy with this situation: Planning a week ahead, you secretly buy movie tickets and make reservations at a favorite restaurant. Upon arriving home on Friday evening, you say to your ENFP, “Go wash your face and put on a nice shirt, because we’re going out in 15 minutes to have dinner and watch a movie.” They will feel like a million dollars!

to like it because they don’t want to discourage you from surprising them in the future. They love surprises. How they feel right now is super important. They are very in tune with how they feel, and how they feel changes all the time. They don’t like to bother other people with their negative feelings, so they will often be quiet about them. They liked to be asked about their feelings. Here are some example questions: On a scale of 1 to 5, how happy are you right now? How does this meal compare to others we’ve eaten? Do you want to keep doing this? What do you like about this movie? They are easily influenced by the feelings of others. If you are happy, they will quickly match your mood.

They would rather learn by getting started with someone than by reading instructions or going solo.

They like being taught. It’s pleasurable to be taught patiently by someone else.

They don’t like to gossip about others, except to talk about ideas. They are turned off by judgments of other people. But if there is an idea that comes up by talking about what the neighbor did, they will like to talk about that, instead of the neighbor.

They can and like to argue both sides of an issue.

Sometimes they will take an extreme position, not because they believe it, but because they are testing it. They want someone to argue against the extreme position to help them see why it might not be right. They will fight very hard to defend the position, because they want to be very sure they understand it and what it’s weaknesses are.

Sometimes they will take an extreme position because they are trying to prove a point emotionally. Again, they don’t necessarily believe the extreme position, they are just being dramatic about what they do believe.

They like to go crazy sometimes, and to be appreciated for it. Stand back and enjoy the show. J Afterwards you can debrief them about how other people reacted.

They like to role-play and act play games that get them to stand up and be in front of people This date would be fun for an ENFP: Get on a bus to some place interesting. Pretend you don’t know each other and you are meeting for the first time on the bus.

They like to tell and hear stories – ask them about their childhood or about college

For the person whose love language is touch, touch is about emotional connection , not sex. These are easily confused, and it is helpful to understand that there is a distinction.

, not sex. These are easily confused, and it is helpful to understand that there is a distinction. They can tell when you are distracted. When you are paying attention to the TV or going through something else in your head, they can feel this and they will not feel emotionally connected, which makes the touch unsatisfying. Eliminate distractions and be 100% focused on the person you are touching.

Be slow and deliberate. For instance, if you were touching their hand, work on it one knuckle at a time, very purposefully and patiently.

Quality is better than quantity. Five minutes of mindful touching is far better than an hour of mindless touching.

Words are a powerful modifier of touch. Try talking softly about what you are doing. E.g. “now I am going to gently rotate each of the knuckles in your fingers. This will feel relaxing.” The description and suggestion play off the ENFP’s need to communicate about feelings. Frequently ask for feedback on touch: “Do you like this? Would you like to change hands?”

Learn about massage. There are two advantages to this: You will get much better at touch A person who likes touch especially likes “intelligent touch” They can tell when the toucher is confident in themselves and what they know about touch. For instance, they might like seeing a doctor because the doctor will touch them with intelligent purpose.

Find out what they like. Do experiments and get feedback.

An ENFP will like holding hands in public or while doing other activities like watching movies. (I personally like to have the back of my neck scratched while I am driving. )

The promise of physical touch later is as good as physical touch now. If they come home tired and depressed, tell them they’ll get a great back rub in a few hours when the rest of the day’s activities are done. They will cheer up right away.

I wrote this recently for a friend and thought I would share it:Care and feeding of your ENFP who also has a love language of physical touch:This activity may sound threatening for you.It should help you to know that the ENFP will almost neveron a crazy idea.They just likes toideas and share them.In fact, acting out on ideas sometimes feels too tiresome.An ENFP would be perfectly happy if someone else took their idea and ran with it.If you need some assurance of safety, you can say something like, “I’m a little nervous talking about this idea because I’m afraid you are going to do it right away on your own.I promise am going to dream with you in just a second, because I can see this is important to you.But to feel safe, I need to hear from you that you are just playing with the idea and that you don’t plan to do this without agreeing with me first.”GeneralPhysical Touch