Since I opened this site, I have received many positive comments about this site in the guestbook, and I appreciate every single one. Of course, the occasional person comes along that just "doesn't get it" and leaves a nasty and offensive message in the guestbook for no reason. This page strikes back at the idiots that leave those messages for no reason.

P.S. This is intended to be SATIRE. Take your sense of humor with you when you read this, because some people (you know who you are) take it literally.

Name: hgpi

Website: fjjfu6fffffyt

Referred By: Just Surfed On In!

From: futfytf

Time: 1998-03-15 20:27:19

Comments: hjfu6fu666666666666666fffjfgluigli7glf die 666

Editorial Comment: Ok let me get this straight, hgpi is it? You have nothing better to do than to go to web sites and mash your keyboard like a complete moron? Judging by the fact that you did not leave an e-mail address, I assume that you are just a wimp, hiding behind your computer. So hgpi, I feel really sorry for you if you have nothing better to do than to mash your keyboard like a shmuk.

Name: spamboy2000

Website: up yours

Referred By: Word of Mouth

From: Robinson Illinois

Time: 1998-03-28 20:54:18

Comments: kiss my ass

Editorial Comment: Ok spamboy2000. I assume that you have no life. Why do I assume so? Nobody that has a life would go to web sites and leave stupid messages like you. Tell me, why would I want to kiss your ass? What are you anyway? If you want your ass to be kissed, turn around and kiss it yourself. Also, why the hell do you leave links to porno sites? You must have the I.Q. of exactly 2 points. Yet another idiot on the Internet... sad. So very sad. Name: LIZZIE SANDERSON

Website:

Referred By: Just Surfed On In!

From: CAMBRIDGE-U.K.

Time: 1998-05-09 19:39:07

Comments: I THINK THIS IS CRAP BUT I LOVE THE MUSIC

Editorial Comment: You think this is crap? Well, if you do, you don't have to sign the guestbook telling me so. And you like the music? I feel so sorry that you think that this is crap, that I will change my whole page around JUST to please you. Just tell me what to put on and I will do it. And I will keep the music. I feel SO bad that I had you suffer because of my page. Oh, and I couldn't help notice- you don't have a site! Who are you to tell me that this is crap? Name: Anton

Website:

Referred By: Just Surfed On In!

From:

Time: 1998-05-09 07:15:02

Comments: pis off

Editorial Comment: Ok Anton. First of all, if you're gonna leave a message so babyish as this, you might want to leave an explanation of WHY you did so. But then again, if you are so stupid as to spell "piss" wrong, then I can't expect anything intelligent from you, let alone an explanation. What I can expect is to see you staring at your computer drooling at the keyboard. Oh, and as you so eloquently put it, "pis off!"

Name: Jehu Nassal

Website: Nuke India!!!

Referred By: Word of Mouth

From: Pakistan

Time: 1998-06-02 19:58:56

Comments: In my country the simpsons are anti-muslim and are banned. I find this site sacreligious, and frankly i find this site against my beliefs. I am so upset by the content of this site, that I must commit suicide. By the way, NUKE INDIA!!!! LONG LIVE PAKISTAN!!!!!

Editorial Comment: Now this is so moronic, it's just funny. Jehu, I would like to find out why the Simpsons are against your beliefs. I have a friend from Pakistan, and the Simpsons air there every day. As for commiting suicide, go ahead- you will deliver great joy to the world by ridding it of yourself. I have even included this easy guide for you to follow:

Take a gun. Load it. Cock the hammer. Point gun at head. Pull trigger.

Now that wasn't too bad was it? As for nuking India, when the nukes start flying, I want you to be under one. Then you would feel what nuclear holocaust is like.

P.S. I hope I don't get sued for contributing to the death of an idiot.

Name: Coolguy

Website: blah

Referred By: Just Surfed On In

From: somewhere

Time: 1999-01-01 04:17:20

Comments: Let me tell you something. IF you can sit and take the time to respond to every bad message that was written to you then YOU must be the dork, a loser with no life. What lame brain idiot takes the time to point out such things as misspelled words, etc.. You might think you are funny when making fun of those people by telling them how to use a gun and stuff but trust me when I tell you this... YOU AREN'T!! You are such a moron yourself! You stoop down to their level when you do such stupid things. WHy don't you accept criticism and GET OVER IT!!! No one cares about your stupid negative comments. You must have no life. Also... Your flight fiction is terrible. The plots suck, especially the one with that psycho guy. You have a corny sense of humor and I wish that you would lighten up and GET A LIFE, LOSER!

Editorial Comment: Now "Coolguy", let me comment on your idiocy. You tell me that I have no life. Why don't you look at YOURSELF. If you have time to write a composition about this page at 4:17 in the MORNING on New Year's Day, then there is something severely wrong with you. And you say you're from "somewhere". Why not say "from around Monroe-Woodbury, New York with the ISP of Frontier." That's where your IP tracked down to. And maybe you should read this quote from your ISP:

It is not acceptable to use Frontier services or facilities for any purposes which violate U.S. or state laws or to transmit any communication which would likely be highly offensive to any recipients. Illegal activities include, but are not limited to:

-sending, receiving, transferring, or storing highly offensive files

When Frontier Internet becomes aware of possible illegal activities, Frontier Internet may turn any information over to appropriate law enforcement agencies. Frontier Internet will review alleged violations of the Acceptable Use Policy on a case by case basis. Clear violations of the policy which are not promptly remedied by the relevant customer may result in appropriate action by Frontier including termination of Frontier services without refund of fees paid.

So you see Coolguy? Not so cool now huh? And if one more thing pops up in my guestbook from you, it will be cruising down to Frontier. Got it? And you tell me my fiction sucks. Let's see some of YOUR writing. I'd be glad to read it. Oh, but then I forgot. You spend so much time writing nasty messages in guestbooks that you don't have time to write anything intelligent. And since you left NO e-mail and NO website, I assume you're just a wimp hiding behind the Internet. And you tell me to get a life? You mean like yours? I rather create websites than leave nasty messages in guestbooks. Leaving nasty messages isn't my idea of a life. And tell me this- WHAT THE H*LL DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!?!

Website:

Referred By: Just Surfed On In

From:

Time: 1999-01-01 21:07:28

Comments: i don't know you, but already i can tell that you are a couple condoms short of an orgy. first of all, why bother in allowing people to sign your guestbook if you don't respect people's opinion and plan to belittle them for all to see. i'm willing to bet that you will look up this message and you will put it in your little feedback page, and try to weasel your way to pity. well, feed on this. thank you for your time. THE WORLD IS A LESBIAN!

Editorial Comment: Now what is this? Now that this section is open, every idiot on the Internet is commenting on it! This is no exception. By reading the first sentence of this entry, I can already tell that this person is a total moron. If your'e going to leave an intelligent message, write something INTELLIGENT. Obviously this message (which was written by another Frontier Internet customer [refer to the previous entry]) was written by a person with an I.Q. of 1 point. "Coolguy", I'm looking at you. There is heavy suspicion that it is you. And if it isn't, would the writer refer to the previous citation from the Frontier Acceptable Use Policy? And I have one question for you; "quobly" is it? WHAT THE H*LL WERE YOU SMOKING WHEN YOU WROTE THAT MESSAGE?

For The Record:I DO respect people's opinion. That's why the guestbook is there. But I don't respect opinions when they are offensive.

Name: ali biggs

Website: fuck knows

Referred By: Geocities

From: england southampton why

Time: 1999-01-31 16:59:21

Comments: this page sucks the music pisses me off nigger faced mother fucker

Editorial Comment: Ah yes, another example of supreme intelligence on the Internet. It seems there are idiots all over the place. This person must have the I.Q. of 3. This was obviously written by a Harvard English professor. Notice the fine use of slang, lack of punctuation, and the lack of capital letters. But back to reality, I've noticed that just now that "The Last Word" came up, idiots crawl out of their holes and make themselves heard. These people should not be allowed to have access to the Information Superhighway. But these posts really piss me off. I often get e-mails with constructive criticism, and I appreciate them. But this is not only offensive, it's RACIST! This person should be locked up for a while! Oh yes, Ali, where is your contribution to the Internet? I don't see a URL. So shut your trap! And let me tell you, the next person you say this to might not be so forgiving as I was. They might drag your @$$ into court and sue you for harassment. So for your sake, keep your fat mouth shut!

Name: The Black Plague

Website:

Referred By: Just Surfed On In

From:

Time: 1999-02-03 20:45:38

Comments: Could you repost the list of the top 20 people you are planning to kill? I missed that one. Just for the record, everyone on this disgusting list will get back at you somehow. Mark my words, Armageddon is at hand for you Igor Faynshteyn, the one who lives at (ADDRESS REMOVED). Yeah, you're not the only only one with hacking skills considering I found this information on the internet within 10 minutes of exiting your site. Here's my final word; your precious little world on the internet is not so safe anymore. P.S. MACS RULE, ibm/microsoft sucks

Editorial Comments: Ok, the idiots have switched their methods. Now instead of moronic insults, we get moronic death threats. Armageddon is at hand for me? Well, mark MY words. I don't live where you think I do! You have no hacking ability whatsoever. Yes, I've seen something called "The White Pages" also. Besides, I list my info everywhere on the Net. I'm not afraid of a wimp like you. I have more hacking ability in all of me than you do in you pinky finger. And one word of caution- If you DARE step foot on my property, your head will not be on your shoulders anymore. Yes, I have a shotgun in my house and I will not hesitate to use it on anyone that dares to trespass on my property. Oh, and you know what else sucks besides IBM? Take a guess. You give up? It's YOU! Oh and I forgot to tell you- DO YOU KNOW THAT DEATH THREATS ARE ILLEGAL? Apparently you didn't know that. I could forward this to the police, you know... Hmm... should I? Decisions, Decisions.

For The Record: For the last time, it was NOT a death list! I don't know how these stupid rumors get started. Apparently, idiots believe everything you tell them. That is sad.

Name: Quobly

Website: if Igor were a lesbian, he'd like men.

Referred By: Just Surfed On In

From: A different planet then Igor

Time: 1999-02-06 23:00:27

Comments: Your last word page is pretty interesting. You call it a satire, yet you take what people say to you very literally. As you should, cause you're a faggety ass bitch(unlike some people, I'm not afraid to write out swears, $%#@head!). Also you are rather hypocritical. You say that you are receiving illegal death threats, yet you post up a list of people you want to kill, and you threat to shoot The Black Plague's head off and/or shoot him with your "shotgun". Speaking of your shotgun, the only thing its good for is shoving it up your smelly goat ass and using your Last Word section as extra toilet paper for the anal discharge. Thanx again for your time, and may all your gay fantasies come true. ALL THE WORLD'S A LESBIAN, especially your mama!

Editorial Comment: Ok, Quobly, one entry demonstrated that you had 3 brain cells. This one confirms that you have 0 brain cells. However, I am fair on this page. I give everyone three strikes. This is strike two for you. One more entry, and all three will be forwarded to Frontiernet Security. Not one, but all three of them. And believe me, Frontier will DESTROY you for this. You will be kicked offline in a matter of hours. And how will I know it's you? Well, I have my ways. And you don't believe that I have a shotgun? Just dare to step foot on my property (if you know where I live) And you're a "faggety ass bitch" for writing all of these entries. Also, only your "smelly goat ass" brain could have turned out something this retarded. And you know what else? I think that you're just "anal discharge" No normal person would write something this idiotic TWICE!! And as for the death list- GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT BEFORE YOU CRITICIZE!

Important Notice: Due to the numerous idiotic entries from Frontiernet users, I will be forced to block all Frontiernet IP's from signing the book. This will prevent morons from signing it, but Frontier customers who wish to leave positive comments will not be able to do so. I apologize to the Frontier users that have encouraged this site, but this is the only way to go. If a Frontiernet user wishes to leave a positive comment, please e-mail me. (All e-mails are stamped with time, IP address, and e-mail address) Name: DT

Website:

Referred By: From a Friend

From:

Time: 1999-02-19 19:55:21

Comments: What is the point of posting your writing on your page when it does you absolutely no justice(your pictures don't either, just for the record)?! The one about the huge psycho guy throwing bottles and cans was sheer idiocy. What you are basically telling everyone is that I want to be made fun of for being a bad writer and a complete asshole. And another thing, your taste in music is terrible. Savage Garden, LeAnn Rimes both suck. Have a nice day, maricho. ;-)> P.S. Could you please post your death list instead of shit fiction

Editorial Comment: Now, I have to hand it to these morons. They sure are persistent. They might not have enough intellect to pass a local math class or to utter one intelligent comment, but they sure are persistent. This is another repeat. And again, I comment on the idiocy of this individual. Now, to answer the question of why I put my writing on my page. Because the rest of the world may actually enjoy reading my writing. And people like it. I've gotten tons of positive comments. The most intelligent thing you ever wrote was "Me am smrt! Me can spell!" And I think my taste in music is 1000% better than yours. You see, I don't listen to anything that has the word "f*ck" more than 5 times in it. What's your favorite song? I bet it has "f*ck" at least 20 times in it. And you know what is also "sheer idiocy?" The fact that this was the second message from you. One more, and I will send these to Security. And for my final thought, let me cite from your post. Using your post we can deduce that you are "...a bad writer and a complete asshole."

P.S. Could you please get a brain inside your head instead of the peanut that is there now?

P.P.S. Yes, what I am basically telling people is that you want to be made fun of for being a bad writer and compete asshole .