Maintaining sexual desire is a challenge that many long-term couples face. So how do you keep the passion alive? As sex and relationship therapist Esther Perel argues, one of the keys is to give your partner space and freedom to be themselves.

Perel has observed that when people are most attracted to their partners, it’s when they see their partner thriving in their own element. This lets you see your partner in a different light—it creates a sense of “otherness” and mystery. But in order to be able to see your partner in this way, you have to put your own insecurities in check and give your partner some degree of freedom to pursue their passions and really be themselves.

To learn more, check out the full video below.