"He says my thighs look like cold porridge," reported one friend to me of her (now ex-) husband’s monumental put-down. Matrimonial body shaming aside, what about the cellulite? Orange-peel skin is, apparently, something that 90 per cent of women have, and of those women, 95 per cent would like to do something about it. But what?

Of course, body positivity is one answer, and a good one. But sometimes an upbeat attitude quails before the realities of pool-side thigh wobble and saggy post-baby tum. Diet (more fibre, more water, less sugar), exercise (more sit-ups), treatments (more massage) and skincare (more luxurious creams) are all recommended as options that may help temporarily. But what about the long term?

Cellulite is caused when the skin over­lying fat (mostly on thighs, stomach, bottom and arms) is pulled downwards by fibrous connective tissue. The collagen fibres between skin and muscle separate the fat into multiple pockets; with age, the skin becomes thinner and loses elasticity, exposing the rippling beneath.

People who want to take things more seriously can turn to fat freezing, whereby fat cells are cooled down to a temperature at which they die, and then, eventually, are flushed out through the kidneys as pee. But there are three problems with this treatment. First, it’s extremely uncomfortable, not to say painful; secondly, while it may reduce the fat in any particular area by up to 25 per cent, it does nothing about the loose skin above it; and thirdly, it can cause a condition called paradoxical adipose hyperplasia, in which the treated fat hardens and actually becomes more solid than it was before. This has been put down as a rare side effect, but new research suggests it is perhaps more frequent than previously thought.

There’s also liposuction, of course, which will see to the fat in a brutal sort of way, but not to the skin covering it, which may well be left saggier than ever.

And then there are lasers, which, until a few years ago, I’d vaguely associated with Star Wars and those little red dots that you can beam out of a torch to encourage kittens to play prettily. But the world of laser beauty has grown up, and the results that rays of light can now achieve – on skin blemishes, broken veins, wide pores, and, yes, cellulite – seem to be little short of miraculous.