Forever King: Stock up. Overcomes the second place curse and becomes the first Batman to win a major since Civil War(fitting since KIT was the most exciting thing to happen in Tennessee since the Civil War). His ego is now as swoll as his biceps and Arma has to hold that. This couldn't have gone worse for those of us waiting for him to fail to place top 8 after he declared he would never fail to place again. Still not a top 10 MK player.



GGA Max: Stock up. MORE VENOM! The pride of GGA, Emperor Outworld and Doombawkz has made a strong case for Bane of America. Placed top 8 on his Birthday, a fact that no one knew until he told us 4 minutes before midnight. In the span of only a couple of months Max has gone from online warrior and casual monster to being completely assimilated into GGA culture. He now comes to GBS every week, goes to Tony's afterwards, gets emo when he loses and has finally started to downplay Bane(was overheard saying "Bane's d+2 is ass!" in the hotel room). Still needs teammates coaching on everything, even on a button check and stage selection.



AK Saltface: Stock up. Is now 3-o in major top 8 placings. Unquestionably the best player in the AK scene and arguably the most successful mid tier character loyalist in the scene. Could possibly be the most irritating zoner I've ever played but is so chill it's impossible to be salty when you lose to him, despite his namesake. Thanks to the Harley b+3 clashable hotfix issue he was the first top player to hold up a tournament for 20 years to check the setup for something other than a lag complaint.



AK Pig of the Hut: Stock up. I think this may literally be the first time Pig's stock has ever been up since Injustice came out. Has finally placed top 8 and put General Zod on the map. Drove 4 hours going 100 miles per hour just to barely make it in time for top 8.....and then went 0-2. Brought his wife and little daughter to the top 8 only for Lady Hut and little Piglet to be horrified by my pop offs. Will now have to explain to her babysitter why she is saying "hold that!" and "fuck outta here!". After the tournament Pig's success and almost 10 months of hard work sunk in as he celebrated with his friends and family. He tried to talk to his daughter about this but she was more interested in wandering off to look at the projector and drinking from her juice cup. Daddy gets no props.



AK Harold: Stock up. Won the race to the top 8 against Master D. and Zyphox and has become the official Flash of America. Flash players can stop getting blown up and told they need to deliver. There are a few players in the scene who's handle is a simple real name that is not actually their name(Tom and Max) which is odd. Harold has an even more awkward situation where every time he does a combo the crowd chants another guy's name. One downside is Harold was shockingly beat out by Devil May Spy for best dressed MKC member at KIT.



AK Elite Goomba: Stock up. Wonder Woman of America has been decided before SCR. Angered Chicago by taking out 3 of our best and almost getting us kicked out of the hotel by wandering the hallway of the hotel in a drunken stupor yelling about how broken Catwoman and Bane are. Has almost unlimited ammo for his late night stream chat arguments with West Coast. The best thing about Goomba placing with Wonder Woman is that he's made Foxy and CD Jr even more irrelevant.



GGA 16 Bit: Stock up. Thank god I've finally placed top 8 at a major. Since MK died my stock was on a downward spiral without Kitana to help. Despite placing my bad luck and mistakes are still haunting me as I did everything in my power to choke it away, including a boneheaded transition against Forever King and a game winning combo drop against Smarr. Luckily I was playing Smarr to get into top 8 so it was impossible to choke worse than him. Besides earning the first top 8 placing with Catwoman I have also achieved something I never thought possible: by accidentally hurling obscenities and giving the finger to a little girl I've managed to top the time I popped off on Foxy when he was straight out of the hospital and still bandaged up as the most tasteless pop off in MKC history.



GGA Pimpimjim: Stock up. Throws away his spot in winners against Clint by trying to get props for winning a bad matchup but places top 8 anyway because somehow his madness always works out. Started off acting shy and unassuming during the hotel shenanigans but eventually opened up and revealed his true nature, including informing everyone that he wishes he could be asian but have a southern accent and Cyborg's dick. Was nervous about approaching Harold and celebrating their asian heritage because he feared Harold would think he is "too whitewashed", despite the fact that Harold's name is Harold and he lives in Atlanta. Is good at holding in farts.



GGA Fill Pops: Stock neutral. Did not prove he is the Lobo of America but did wear a tank top in sub zero weather.



AK Smarr: Stock neutral. Finally ended his 17th place streak and earned a big scalp against Noobe but still failed to place top 8. The pools structure of KIT proves his curse was not actually to get 17th it was simply to get to the end of the pool and then lose twice in a row. Had to be held responsible for everything the Hype Skype gang has ever said so he got blown up whenever Bane won. May have intentionally caused the lights to go off and on to distract Forever King.



GEC Playing to Win: Biggest stock drop in the history of the market. Follows up Wound Cowboy's Frosty Faustings win with possibly the biggest blowup I've ever seen by going 0-2. Is now banned from both TYM and the hypothetical top players only forum. There's a lot you could say here. I will keep this simple. The Pantychrist got a bye and that means Pantychrist out placed Playing to Win.



Doomsday players: Stock down. Saucy Jack, Jeremiah, Whiteboi and Noobe. Arguably the best pure concentration of Doomie talent there's ever been at a tournament(not counting Sonic Boom Brad just being at WNF). The trophy for winning was a gold Doomie head. Saucy Jack beat Playing to Win and Jeremiah beat Forever King Jr. Despite this none of them placed top 8. In fact Noobe was eliminated by a tea bagging RTD. With Catwoman placing and Doomie failing the arguments at Tony's will be unbearable.



GEC M2Dave: Stock neutral. Did not place top 8 but had his best tournament performance so far and will be allowed to post Zod matchup opinions(with supervision from the MU cops). Will remain banned from Rebelloing top tier characters and his cousin. Pulled me aside to have a discussion about how he's moved on from the Deathstroke nerfs and then talked about Deathstroke nerfs for 30 minutes. Apparently cannot figure out how to work Skype without Pig so he can't do a podcast complaining about that fool character Wonder Woman.



GGA Slips: Stock down. Was talked into traveling to a major with promises of Scorpion props only to get bopped by AK. Got drunk with Clint after Tekken pools and is now threatening to bring back Deathstroke. Most competitive match this weekend was the shouting match we had in the car at 3 AM over the X-Men films. Was repeatedly asked by Gross if he could get him a pizza(that's racist).



Gross: Stock down. Wandered the hotel rooms rambling about being a super top Mortal Kombat player despite the fact that myself, Pig of the Hut, Dizzy and Forever King were there so he wasn't even the best in the building. Then challenged King to a money match and after losing the first 3 games he backed out and insisted this doesn't count because he doesn't even play this game anymore. Must be a dominican thing.