Stage 2 — Excitement 😃

This was truly my reaction to the diagnosis. To say that I was overcome with relief would be an understatement.

My reaction to the word “gifted” was first, “What does that mean?”, and second, “What can I do about it / do with it?”.

Two things came to mind when I heard the word “gifted”. The first was “special schools for kids in the arts”. The second was a reference to the final scene in the film comedy, Zoolander, where our hero inaugurates a new edifice in his name:

Sounds like my kind of place. I am all about being the “goodest” that I can be. (Source)

However, as I read about giftedness and began to understand both its inherent characteristics as well as the “side effects” (which I refer to above as negative characteristics), I recognized myself immensely. It was a revelation of sorts for my wife—and partner in crime of 24 years—as well. (As she began to read about giftedness, she recognized me as well and was able to understand me much better than ever before.)

I would divide the excitement stage into two parts. The first part of the excitement stage is relief, of which I experienced two distinct sorts:

1.Relief about the present.😌 Typical of many persons receiving a giftedness diagnosis was understanding that I was in fact — much evidence to the contrary — not an alien. That’s right: 👦🏻≠👽. (Though there is always the possibility that I am a mutant; I am waiting for Professor Xavier to call any moment now.)

As a kid, I collected comic books and the X-Men were my favourites. I could be happy here.

Many gifted people will tell you that they often feel like they are speaking an alien language. Though they may be speaking the same in the same tongue as their interlocutors, the words and the concepts they use seem to fly over the heads of the others. That has been my experience in pretty much each of my relationships—personal, professional, or academic.

Until you are told that it is you who is wired to think and communicate differently, you assume others are wired to think and communicate similarly and that, as a result, you must be doing something inherently wrong. (Cue the negative impact on self-worth.)

2.Relief about the past. 😥 I am reminded of that scene in the movie Good Will Hunting where the late Robin Williams’ character convinces Matt Damon’s character that it isn’t his fault. (Though in this case, they are referring to physical abuse as a kid.) I am instead referring to the tendency to blame oneself for anything that has gone wrong in life and to assign it multiple failings.

(You can watch the actual clip here: https://youtu.be/wklDd8o8HFQ)

The second part of the excitement stage is thoughts about the future. Questions come fast and furious, though answering them early on is difficult:

What can I keep from my past and build on for tomorrow?

What does giftedness mean for me today?

What does giftedness mean for my future?

How can I take advantage of giftedness going forward?

How can I use giftedness in my next job / career?

Who else do I know that is gifted?

Is anyone in my immediate family gifted? And if so, why didn’t they tell me? (It turns out that my father is highly gifted and he only learned of giftedness—and the ultimate meaning of that IQ testing from his teenage years—from following my own journey.)

And most importantly of all:

How can I structure my life, my career, and my relationships so that the next 20 years aren’t like the last 20?

These questions are in fact answered later on in the journey, but the desire to discover, to discuss, and to read up at this early stage was at times overwhelming. In effect, I applied the same intensity in trying to understand my giftedness diagnosis as I have to any other new interest.