I’d like to blame my shocked awe and mild horror on the fact that I’m sick in bed and have spent the last 6 hours in a state of coddled semi consciousness as I try to beat this dreaded illness before tomorrow. I would like to. I’d like to say that my sheltered poorly state left me ill prepared to deal with the reality of what this sick sick world can dish out.

What is it of which I speak?

What is this fresh horror?

This geek terror?

*sigh*

*gulp*

*groan*

…bobble head Darth Vader…

I can’t take this people. I cannot take the desecration and comical recreation of my childhood villain. Scary Darth Vader and his mechanical breathing and funny knobby buttony chest control thing kept me up almost as many nights as my fond and vaguely age inappropriate thoughts of Han Solo. And now he’s a fucking bobble head?

Is nothing sacred?

No! Don’t make excuses. Don’t try to comfort me. Let’s just have a moment of silence.

And maybe also, hope I can resist the urge to purchase it to sit along side my Darth Vader Pez dispenser.