Last week, I asked readers what the greatest free employee benefit in the world was, apart from the "having an actual job" part, which is not to be scoffed at. Here were their responses.


Bob:

I have worked for colleges and universities my whole life. Free tuition for me and the family. Pretty good perk. It's like getting a $35,000 raise every year they're in school.


Yes, but what if that school is a merely pedestrian one, such as Denison?

/sniffs

/swirls brandy glass

Anonymous:

I work at the national office of Planned Parenthood where there are always free rubbers. They keep them in a bowl on every floor, and some magical scumbag elf just restocks them when they get low. No questions asked.

But no free abortions? That is BULLSHIT.

Matt:

I work for a company (won't say who) that makes the chips that multiple manufactures (can't say who) use to run their Blu-ray players. My perk is movies. Movies by the fistful. Every major release is here weeks in advance so we can test it on our software and make sure there aren't bugs in either our code or the discs themselves (shockingly common). Some movies we get nearly at the same time they are released in the theater, particularly sci-fi movies, which seem to be heavy on extra content that they want vetted. We get basically everything, though. The movie library here numbers in the tens of thousands of DVD and Blu-Ray discs. We can check anything out for any reason, and I may or may not have a stack of company property in every cubbyhole that inhabits my life. The best case, though, is when we get movies BEFORE THEY HIT THE THEATER. I saw Taken a full week before it came out in the theater, and District 9 about the same weekend as release. It feels so fucking special. I have movie nights every so often, and people actually show up. /beats self with nerd belt

Richard:

I work at a major wine and spirits company. I get $300 a year (higher salary grades get much more) in product promotion that can be used for any company products either on premise or off. In addition to that we also get about 6-8 bottles a year from random events and there are bi-weekly drink at work parties. Not bad at all.


Not bad indeed. I also knew a guy who worked at a liquor conglomerate and they had a free bar in the building. Only ESPN could rival the drunken boning going on at that place.

Lyle:

I worked for a brewery, the fifth largest in the country at the time, and in our corporate office building there was beer on tap in the break room. We also were able to buy production errors at the plant for $4 a case. It was usually because the union guys put the wrong liquid in the wrong can


Mmmm… wrong beer.

Jon:

I work for a cable company and get free cable. This includes the works. High Speed Internet, digital voice/phone, and the premium cable package with all the premium channels (including the playboy channel), HD, DVR, etc... We also get 20% off on all the pay per view content including movies and fights.


That's almost worth working for Comcast and having customers call me all day long to tell me my company is Satan's afterbirth.

Dan:

I am the IT guy for a company that owns several hotels and I will tell you that employee discounts on hotel rooms are the greatest ever. Hilton has a website set up just for its employees to search for rates…for example any Hilton hotel is $49/night. Any Hampton Inn is $29/night. I have stayed at the W in Times Square for $70/night (my parking cost more than my room for the night). And since we own hotels from different brands (Hilton, Sheraton, Wyndham, Marriot), I get the discount for all of them.


But do they have free coffee in the lobby before 5AM? PETER KING MUST KNOW.

Derrik:

I get a free cruise every year from my partner working for a cruise line. In addition to the food, it includes all-you-can-drink for free while on board as well!


And all the 80-year-old pussy you can handle!

Lars:

Growing up, one of my friends was a VP of Lego working. When we were young, my friend got every lego set you can imagine, he got sets that were in the test phase before release to the public, and of course some of those sets never even got released. It was pretty sweet for a little while to have access to more legos than you knew what to do with, and Legos that you knew only other executives of the company got to play with. Granted, this was not such a great perk for my friend's dad, who worked there, but for him it was one sweet employee perk.


Indeed. I think that might be the WORST employee perk. "Here, fill your house with this shit."

Jeff:

I work for an energy supplier. Down here in de-regulated country (Tixas), where we get to choose our provider, most normal folk pay between 10-13 cents for their residential power. My great job perk is paying 7.5-8 cents. My apartment bill last month (700+ sq.ft.) was $35 dollars. In the last three years, the most I have paid for electricity in any month was $60 dollars. It's not free, but it's better than most shmucks. In the summer, I keep my thermostat at 70. I have to wear a hoodie. It is glorious. Sometimes I turn on the dryer for an hour with nothing in it.


Somewhere, Joe Klein weeps into his tabbouleh.

Heyzeus:

One summer in college I lived with a dude whose father was a high up exec at Kellog's. Which meant he was constantly receiving entire cases of their cereals, including test products that weren't even available in the stores yet. I don't recall him ever sharing.


The fucker!

Dan:

Cops get the best perks. Unless you actually kill someone, you are never going to get a traffic ticket. Speed limits don't apply. Stop lights are merely a suggestion. Register your vehicle when you get around to it. Too drunk to drive? Not possible. And when you do get pulled over, it usually results in a hearty laugh. I have a friend who is a cop, a state trooper no less, he will wheelie his motorcycle through speed traps in hopes of getting stopped by one of his buddies. Imagine the power trip of getting pulled over, then whipping out that badge. Suddenly you're the bad guy from Lethal Weapon 2 claiming diplomatic immunity.


And there's your winner, gang. It even beats out Google's ginger French toast. Fucking Google.