Is your life completely devoid of meaning? Are you so unable to motivate yourself that you require some quotation from a famous person that was taken out of context to sound more general and vague, therefore more relatable to weak-brained schlubs such as yourself? You make me sick. Oh, and here's a gadget for you: the secrets of Life and Words of Wisdom button. Yes, it's a button that farts out motivational phrases for you. Yes, with quotes from such visionary thinkers as Benjamin Franklin, Conrad Hilton and Vince Lombardi, there's just no way you'll miss out on a single one of the lofty achievements promised by the button's website:

- turn rejection into opportunity - enjoy more friends - get what you want out of life - be creative on demand - eliminate stage fright - not be arrogant - save face - adapt easily to change - stop little problems from growing bigger - learn a foreign language - show someone you love them - quickly alleviate despair - keep your mind young - build wealth - not be annoying - decrease fears - become an expert in your field - find your passion in life - handle criticism - be courageous - dream big - believe attitude is everything - master your fears - make failure your friend - become an expert in your field - respond to adversity


Boy, who knew that hearing a gadget say "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" would help me learn a foreign language or not be annoying. Yeah, because there's nothing less annoying than someone with no original thoughts that just spouts out quotations. Or someone who spends all their money on gimmicky garbage and then complains about not having enough money. Only $30! Buy today, you moron! [Product Page]