What do I do?

1) Write down a list of everything which triggers a porn craving in you.

2) Write down a list of reasons of why you watch porn, the list might include things such as “I feel lonely”, “It helps me reduce my anxiety, stress”, “I feel relaxed” etc.

3) Write down a list of activities you can do to feel the same rewards as in the step two.

4) Next time a craving is triggered, instead of watching porn, do an activity from the list you created in step three.

Why do I do it?

The “Golden rule of Habit Change” says that the habits are a three-step loop- the cue, the routine, and the reward. You can never truly extinguish bad habits, they never really disappear. To deal with the old habits, you must address the old cravings. You have to keep the same cues and rewards as before, but feed the craving by inserting a new routine.”

You are following the “Golden rule of Habit Change” when you first make a list of all your porn triggers, these are the cues. Then, making a list of all the reasons of why you watch porn, these are the rewards that you feel you get when you watch porn. And then, making a list of all the activities you can do which deliver the same rewards as porn does. And finally, doing one of these activities when a porn craving is triggered.

You are keeping the same old cues and same old rewards, but you are changing the routine to something which better suits your life goals. For example, every time a porn craving comes, you can get down and do some push-ups instead of watching porn. This will wire up your brain to crave for push-ups rather than porn because your brain is after the reward and not the routine.