Mike Duke, who might have the simplest name ever, modded his late-model Mercury Cougar (which I used to own back in 2001 before sliding it off an icy road, wrapping it around a couple trees and winding up in the ICU for 11 days) into a Bugatti Veyron. Basically by fabricating a giant body kit. Now I know what you're thinking, and it's true: you almost lost your Geekologie Writer before you even knew him.

Petrolhead Mike Duke, 25, spent nine months transforming his Ford Cougar into a red and black imitation of the 1,000bhp motor.

A specially-designed bodykit makes it indistinguishable from a Â£1million Veyron and the interior has been re-styled and covered in leather. But the engine is the Cougar's standard 2.5 litre V6 model, meaning its power falls well short of the 1,000bhp developed by the Veyron's 8-litre powerplant. This means 0-62mph in 8.2 seconds and a top speed of 140mph - a way off the Veyron's 2.5 seconds and 253mph.

Why? Why do single men do anything -- to trick women into coming home with them.

*fumbling around with keys, finally opens door*

"This apartment is dingy."

It's a safehouse baby, I'm hiding out.

"Driving that sports car?"

I'm a spy, and spy's drive fancy cars.

"Who are you?"

Duke, Mike Duke -- Her Majesty's Secret Service Center and Autobody Repair.

Hit the jump for several more shots of the in-process and a couple more angles of the finished product PLUS A LINK TO THE EBAY AUCTION WHERE YOU CAN BUY THE THING ($89K) AND LIVE THE DREAM.

It looks like a million dollars - but this Bugatti Veyron cost only $89,000 [dailymail]

and

eBay Auction

Thanks to Asbo, who once converted a Dodge Neon into a rocketship and blasted off for the moon but wound up in a pond because it was waaaaaaaaay underpowered.