I have a love-hate relationship with winter. For one hand, it means snowballs, fireplaces and Christmas presents. On the other hand, it means cold temperatures, deep snow, and disappointment when I don’t get all the Christmas presents I asked for.

Snow

Luckily our winters here mean lots of snow (albeit not as much in recent years). When snow reaches the proper moisture-density ratio (I have it down to a science), it becomes packing snow. This yields snow in its most enjoyable form – snowballs.

After squeaky balls and sexy ladies, snowballs are one of the few things that will make me squeak like this:

Snow also means snow forts and snowmen – which I hate. I consider it an abominable abomination to put snowballs to constructive use instead of throwing them for me to chase and rip apart.

Since I am very much against the practice, I have taken it upon myself to destroy all young children’s snow forts and snowmen, along with their dreams and aspirations of building future snow forts and snowmen.

I’m not sorry either. Mum and Dad don’t approve, but who are they kidding, they can’t stop me.

And if Santa thinks that’s naughty of me, then he needs to get his priorities a little more aligned with mine.

Mum and Dad also know that if they put their hands to the ground to pack a snowball, I very well may bite their fingers off. This is why they get so worried when there’s kids playing with snowballs at the park and I start to get the look…

But snow quickly becomes an issue for me when it gets too deep.

Since I am not even a foot high myself (in body), it doesn’t take much for it to become deeper than I am tall.

This severely limits my ability to explore, but doesn’t deter me from trying!

Cold

Being a wiener, the obvious problem with the cold is shrinkage. I can’t afford to lose anymore inches down there, or I’m going to have an inny more than an outty. I hate to say it, but it’s the cold hard truth..

So to combat the cold, I have to get all bundled up.

This video may only be 6 seconds, but it takes longer than that to get fully clothed.

I think we might need one more look at that…

I may look and feel like a doofus, but at least I’ll be warm.

Now you might think there’s nothing good about the cold. But the cold is an excellent excuse to laze by the fire. And if you ask me, there’s just something super cozy about cuddling up in a blanket next to a fire with a good book squeak.

It’s almost as relaxing as sun tanning on a beach. (The latter is better than the former in terms of the presence of babes though).

But who would of guessed – while out on a short, chilly expedition through the snow this weekend, look what I bumped into!

A babe!

She may not be a dachshund, but she’s my size and petite (which I like). She also has an itchy wool sweater just like me! Our Mums must have similar poor taste.

Winter Means Christmas!

I love opening my presents. And yes, I also love opening other people’s presents. Earlier this week Mum heard some rustling upstairs followed by excited squeaks and joyful skipping up and down the hallway. Turns out I had opened all of my brother Oakley’s presents!

*Whoops*

Anyway, I can’t wait for Christmas morning to see what (else) I get!

This year I’ve decided to keep my list private though. Because hey – not everything I do needs to be publicized! Heck, can a dog get a little privacy once in a while?

(Sorry, paparazzi’s been getting to me lately).

However, I am sorry to put a damper on your Christmas spirit with some very disconcerting news which has just come my way. Allow me to explain.

They say this Santa knows if you’ve been naughty or nice, right? Well, how do we know he hasn’t been slipping all our secrets to the NSA like everyone else has been doing lately? That’s why I felt the need to put this little video together:

This would explain why there are so many fake Santas out there willing to hear all about “what you want for Christmas”…

Spies I tell you! Now I know why that last Santa I sat on had black eyebrows! Like I figured – a phony!

So just keep that in mind next time you spill all your beans to the man in the red suit.

Anyway, on the bright side there’s only one more week before I’m back with my brother Oakley again! In the meantime, check out one of my most popular blog posts featuring Oakley and I spending some quality time together last Christmas break here.

Safe holidays everyone, with lots of squeaks of excitement!

Keep snow-ballin’,

~ Crusoe

My New Book! Featuring my worldly travels far and wide, from Europe to Mexico and more, and the whole story of my surgery and recovery! Rated 5 stars on Amazon! Get Yours!

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