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Let it be said that the idea of a "hurricane party" is more or less ludicrous — nothing good can come from this here Irene. But if you're out of the eye, or bunked up somewhere safe, and just kind of sitting around, try these:

The Painkiller

Because Sailor Jerry is pretty shamelessly plugging a hurricane cocktail, but this one's better.

• 2 oz. navy rum

• 2 oz. pineapple juice

• 1 oz. OJ

• 1 oz. coconut cream (that Vita Coco stuff is fine)

Add ice — lots of ice — then shake, strain into a Tom Collins glass, and throw a ton of nutmeg on top.

The Ardoise

Because the first ingredient.

• 4 shots organic Rain vodka (or something juniper-y)

• 2 tbsp simple syrup

• 2 sage leaves

• Half a lime, squeezed

• Some juniper

Shake, hard as hell, the a half-cup of crushed ice, along with the vodka, lime juice, and syrup mix. Pour into fancy glasses, garnish with sage. Serves two. Toast to her.

Milk Punch

Because it was probably invented on a boat.

• 2 oz. dark rum, or brandy, or whiskey

• 1 teaspoon superfine sugar

• 6 to 8 ounces milk

Stir well with cracked ice in a chilled cocktail shaker, then strain into large goblet or Collins glass. Sprinkle with nutmeg.

(Gin) Gibson

Because why the hell not?

• 3 oz. Hendrick's

• A hint of vermouth (you don't want it too dry)

• Maybe some cocktail onions

Shake, don't stir. Then into the martini glass. Maybe a big one.

Sea Captain Special

Because it'll make damn well sure you can't show up to the office on Monday.

• 1 sugar cube (or 1/2 teaspoon loose sugar)

• 3 dashes Angostura bitters

• 1 club soda

• 2 1/2 ounces rye whisky (or bourbon)

• Brut champagne

• Absinthe

Put the sugar in an Old-Fashioned glass, put the bitters on top of it, along with a splash of club soda. Twirl it around, then add a big ice cube. Pour in the rye, then the champagne, then the absinthe.

Or, you know, whatever's in the basement.

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