Few things are scarier than the blue screen of death and its Apple equivalents — except maybe this “haunted” Macbook someone is auctioning off on eBay.

How do you know a computer is haunted? eBay user wfatzinger has noted your skepticism, and he or she has already provided an greatly detailed answer on the computer’s listing:

Well, I took the computer home (still in perfect working condition) and, folks, this is when things started to get downright weird. First, I noticed that ALL of my songs in iTunes had become scary or haunted. Second, the desktop background was changed to a scary photo. The following week, we (my wife, Barbie, and I) noticed some of our stuff around the house had been mysteriously rearranged. One night, we went out to dinner with my wife’s parents and their friends and some people from my wife’s work and some of their parents. When we came home, my baseball cards were all out of order and my wife’s rare American coins were in total disarray. To make matters spookier, I occasionally saw the computer levitating. In some cases the screen and keyboard would open and shut quickly, as though the computer were attempting to speak.

The laptop supposedly works great, but what makes its $75 asking bid a steal is what comes with it: a certificate of haunting (a psychic signed it while channeling the computer); haunted music (let’s hope wfatzinger just means hundreds of copies of Beyoncé’s “Haunted”); ghostly photos (cross your fingers and hope they’re actually Gastly photos); and Edgar Allan Poe stories in text document form (who needs a Kindle?). Not bidding on this would be a…grave mistake.

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Write to Nolan Feeney at nolan.feeney@time.com.