I'm a big fan of the podcast You Look Nice Today. I decided to re-listen to all the episodes and keep track of the topics they discuss so I'll have better access to my favorite parts when introducing the show to friends. Some of my favorites are "Bubbles," "The Tux Age" and "Guaranteed Morrie."



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The You Look Nice Today Topic Index

Make a Given Wish - Dropping a MOMA / Seamless transfer of urine from a Duodeca ounce Snapple bottle to out of an apartment window / Dander Soup / Peeing in the shower is the core of the septa-freedoms / "Sweet, sweet cock" and other family euphemisms / Bowel movement-based approach to healthcare / The shame of pooping in the high school bathroom / Always knowing exactly how far you are from an adequate place to poop / Make a wish, as long as that wish is taking a bath with Adam while he reads the entirety of The Fountainhead to you / You don't know a book until you have bathed with it / Going to Costco with a Jonathan Coulton lookalike / The worst idea ever / Fighting cancer by becoming cancer / Recalibrating the expectations of terminally ill children by setting new lows / Scott made the unfortunate decision to start smoking electronic cigarettes

Schroedinger's Conference bag - Going with the complicated rater than the comfortable / Adult-flavor Japanese Kit-Kats / Lunchables and other children's integrated lunch solutions / Adult versions of Lunchables, featuring liquor, a cigarette and a very tiny porno mag / Tech conference bags of swag / "The last thing I need is everything I get in a conference bag" / Schroedinger's conference bag is full of dead or live cats / Video production conferences are even sadder than tech conferences / Video Tools Expo '86! / Aerobics VHS from the '80s / Hostile takeovers of conference booths / Reducing the I in ROI / Scott's mom is so dead / "A lot of people have dead people in their family" / Dressing up Adam like a booth / Electronic reverse pan-handling / Scott certainly never worked at Apple / Death-based aerobics video / Adam is terrible at improv / Real estate conferences / "They call it a tea room" / The gang stands on each others shoulders to sneak into conference / Who would be on the bottom? / Who is the worst at Improv? / Charlie Kaufman-ing

Adam Ruins Everything - Everybody dance now! Kevin Bacon / The ever growing legacy of Footloose / Short movie summaries by Adam / The masculinization of dancing in 1990s with the arrival of hip-hop into mainstream pop culture / White people can't dance! / A little shame can help a culture out / Scott dancing looks like two snakes tied to a paper bag / Adam's surprisingly graceful dancing and Pied Piper-like dance hypnotism skills / The first couple to dance at a wedding / Improv school yes-and-ponzi scheme / Adam ruins everything and is going to be a dad / The new blood-based test for a unborn baby's gender / Scott's continued threats to leave his family / Advice Wisdom / Adam plans to have his baby in the parking lot of a Best Buy / Scott's new unemployed life / Surfing Youtube and masturbating, alternatively / The Crusty Corner / The struggle to wake up by 10:30am / Reaching the point in unemployment where you no longer considering masturbation an accomplishment / The embarrassment of walking around in your Thursday robe on Wednesday / Stupid art projects created prior to the birth of your first child / Hair from your first haircut / Hold it cuter! / Dulas are insufferable / Male dula dressed as a flight attendant / Ronald McDonald house for expectant fathers / Adam's going to stay at a Taco Bell House / Bach to Work and other puns on the name of Merlin's other podcast

Poolside - Adam's acapella introduction / Adam the shit troll / Reading TV guide from the '80s by hotel pools / Personal theme music: Adam - James Bond. Merlin - Theme music from Alice. Scott - Advil jingle / What are part of Alice's body were her grits? / Talking Adam up to and off a ledge / Unexpectingly catching your reflection in a mirror / Which star of Deliverance are you? / Reserving too many chairs at the pool / The full vertical peel away / Scott rents himself out as invisible man thanks to his near translucent skin / Boney in some places and baggy in others - bag of sticks and marbles / Peering at pretty women at the pool behind large oil paintings / Scott embraces his inner-pervert / German tourists are the worst / Merlin has shoulders that look like two jaws / Shirts and Skins / Scott's nipples look like twin fu manchus making kissey faces / Inverse compliments / Solving the pool problem / What does it feel like to be ugly? / A drawer full of clothes you'll one day fit into

Morning glory - En Francais / Glory hole, a family restaurant / Glory hole trust exercises / Glory hole monastery / Purchasing discontinued cereals from the internet / Blueberry mourning / Merlin rants about CFL light bulbs / Strawberry Holocaust Pop Tarts / Scott's precious Maximum White Creme Pomade / The surprising effectiveness of writing a letter to the CEO / Once upon a time there was a body wash ... / Adam's tale of corporate disaffection / The Soaking-Wet Fixer / Just a Squirt, your airport's Aveda / Barley, corn and wheat, all freshly grewed, wrapped in newspaper and shipped from Mexico / Milk it up! / Depression-era style grocery stores / Brokeavore / Complaining to the CEO of Can / Glory hole pharmacist

The Rules - Where's Adam? / Adam's voice sounds like a station wagon driving into Scott's heart / Bringing Panda Express home to the family / Fundraising through eating candy / Scott's negotiating master class / Very nice / Man school part II / How long can you hang out at a car dealership without buying anything? / British museums are just buildings full of stuff that used to belong to nicer dead people / Merlin's problem with London is that there aren't enough people that are interested in him / An honest British museum slash car dealership / Eating at Chipotles around the globe / Italian disco, Manhattan hotels and white noise / Coffin shaped vitamins / Scott swallows a very tiny bust of Bette Midler every morning / Adam retreats into himself / Family game name / Apples to Apples is a horrible game / Scruples the game / "If you masturbated into an underwear drawer, how long a note would you leave? Be honest" / The YLNT game- "The Rules" / VHS based board games / Pass the wizard's hat to the nearest Jew / The Amish love games and poorly disguised vibrators

Gellies Local 416 - Simpson's Speculation / Farting on airplanes / A poor man's butler for wine / Adam's peasant lips / Andy Rooney / Eating the wax off of a Maker's Mark bottle / Pinot Evil wine / Doing the chicken dance in a bodega / Mr. Bodangle / Pro-active lifestyle delivery / Socially appropriate winking / Overly familiar waitstaff / Walking out of a store without buying anything / Shoplifting for fun and profit! / Stealing food out of the mouths of dolly boys / Gellies Local 416, the YLNT labor union / No Shriner is ever taller then when he stoops to pick up a crippled child / Sum ​​paenitet ego manducans frixum rice. Sum pota. Opus ad dēfecāre. / Who poops at 10pm?

Druthers, CA - Cerumen on an airplane / Bloody Mary mix on airplanes / The York, PA Erma Bombeck memorial library / Terrible airplane passengers / Scott will eventually be a lonely 42-year-old man that orders food too loudly / The alternate reality of Disneyland / Grad Night at Cream Corn Acres / High school lock-ins are for making out / Scott was a heavy drinker as a child / Wilco's Slumber Party Drinker / Ninja movies, LeChic and slumber party hijinks / Adam's mom's porno mags / The Thomas Crown affair of porno mags / "Are you the mailbox of any body's pornography?" / Adam's porno mag dream, again / Subscribing to Playboy as a 13-year-old / Disney princesses - 1 of every color and 9 white ones / The constant disappointment of EPCOT / Celebration, FL / Druthers, CA, the YLNT deed restricted community / "Ever want to masturbate while a robot takes care of your family? Of course you have"

The Stenciled Approach - Scott's nightly retreat- half Pepto-Bismal, half Hendricks / Folding clothes / Merlin's polio-brace-style luggage / Folding machines, steam machines and automatic valets / The endless struggle of laundry / banana pits / Dad jeans / Stapling jeans / Tactical luggage / The astounding efficiency of Japanese luggage / Steam alarm clock / Utilizing all parts of the steam, like the mighty buffalo / The stenciled approach to life / Domestic abuse of silverware / "Merlin, I can't wait for your autopsy." / No more convenience! / Combating clipboard carrying canvassers with your own clipboards / A clipboard based martial arts movie / Jodhpurs \ Little league baseball and sanitary socks.

Lobster Farm - David Attenborough's The Trials of Life / Rice up your nose / Sushi for white guys / "Gaijin eat sushi like this" / "In China phlegm is like poop" / Hawaiian food seems like a prank / Mayonnaise on pizza / Japanese is just English with a funny accent / Seminole rolls and other local sushi / Presidential rolls / Ruth Bader Ginsburg's hand roll / Scott's disturbing experience eating live squid / Taciturn Maine lobsters / Eating lobsters in front of an audience of its peers / Experiments with vegetarianism / "A lot of rapes start with someone getting back on meat" / "I'm sorry, did you say self-righteousness?" / Mustaches, meat suits and pigs / The death of farms in American Literature / 4H for lobsters / The romance of killing lobsters / The gang starts a farm, performs "the food equivalent of laundering money" / Turning imported fruit into local organic fruit / Wearing overalls and nothing else / A lobster dressed as Andie MacDowell / Carbonated wine

Razzledazzle - Is anyone ever really attractive naked? / Stay Hungry, best bluegrass and body building movie of the 1970's / Arnold Schwarzenegger, a national curiosity / "You give Burt Reynolds a Trans-Am and a couple kegs and I think you just gotta print posters at that point." / Stephen Spielberg's Duel and the film school brats of the 1970's / Razzledazzle- a morally ambiguously 20-sided die and universal sidekick / The gang's attempts to insert Razzledazzle into every movie ever made / The terribleness of children's TV programming / Art school fag / Scott's 100-sided die based cure for fear of flying / Airplane blankets, the thinnest fabric in the world / Scott was tricked into living next to the airport / Salt & Vinegar Pop Chips on Virgin America Airlines / The small Chinatown on most Virgin America airplanes / The different flight attendants and lady air prostitutes of different airlines / Coldplay's new album, Navy Blue Ballast / Northwest Airlines is all peroxide and rabies / "I've ruined you in my dreams so many times and still you bring me salami." / Merlin's personal hell- Working for the TSA / Surgery on fat people is like the hard mode on a video game.

That's Babies - Merlin gives parenting advice / The economy of Siamese twins / Pacific Rimjob / Drugging your children / The connection between Nintendo and opium / Eating cheese on a long car ride with a girl / Substituting comic books for children / The disturbing story of Scott's first child's birth / Measuring the dilation of a vulva / That's not sand that's babies! / Natural child birth / Birthing Jacuzzis / Women who wear Birkenstocks are responsible for turning off people to most spiritual movements / The boredom of professionalism, and the professionalism of boredom / Green-screening birth / Birthing music / Making love to a mix of Brian Eno, instructional Japanese lessons, and Sarah McClaughlin / Put your fucking boom box away / Placentas

The Magic Number - Live episode from MaxFunCon / Scott plans to sabotage Jordan Jesse Go! Merlin sounds like an old person dragging a crock pot / Scott harasses the cleaning lady / Roommate horror stories / “YO HER FACE IS KINDA BUSTED BUT SHE GOT A SLAMMIN’ BODY” / Winston Churchill haunts Scott’s shower / Makin’ number 3 / The passive aggressive nature of southerners / Friendship is bullshit / “If you’re not regularly abandoning friends you’re not trying enough new things” / Theme bars / Mommy Needs a Minute- The YLNT theme bar / The bar’s theme is the unkempt, disheveled kitchen of a divorced mother with a drinking problem / Merlin wishes he could choose what he found hot / The Shirley Temple of Doom

Bubbles - Coming to know something in it’s later stages of fame (Orson Wells is not just the peas guy) / Corey Haim- The original teen vampire / Adam adjusts his levels till he sounds like “he’s running for office in Taiwan on a radio that can’t be turned off.” / Bubbles House- Scott buys a new house, names it ‘Bubbles’ / Tommy Lee Jones, the best realtor ever / Negotiating tactics / Scott moves to a place where “mid-cycle Yuppies go to die.” / Packing for moving is like ‘forensic archeology on your past.’ / Smugness is never flattering, especially among the young / Lady Barely Legal – All pimples and cracking voices / Robert Evans impressions / Paying for public transportation is challenging! / The gang redesigns currency- Bills should increase in size with denomination.

The Sake Period - Working tinsel into your hair, and other regrettable hair mistakes / Changing your identity from one school year to the next and Adam’s Sake period, when he pretended to be Japanese / Choosing a special outfit for the first day of school / A special camouflage for men’s pants that makes it looks like he has up to 9 boners / Makeout locations in high school, “French kissing my thoughts.” / A halfway house for dorks, dweebs and losers, to learn how to be cool.

In Congrefs - Live in Philadelphia / The gang panders to the crowd / Philly hipsters are terrible / Beards are what you can grow / Horizontal mohawks / Scott’s Barber shop is below a Curves / The Best Place in the World to Poop / Gentry Magazine / The Ben Franklin Museum / Trying really hard to make Ben Franklin boring / The golden age of inventing shit / Ben Franklin loved to screw / Adam loves Burlington Coat Factory.

Breakin’ in – Burping / Dealing w/ poor service passive aggressively through tipping / We’re all Larry David / Socialized parking in Canada / “America Heights.” / Drinking liquor from a Erlenmeyer flask / “Anything fancy could be a trick” / Wanting armpit hair more than anything / The sound of pubic hair / How the gang deals with the threat of home break-ins in the night / Home Knife Shopping Channel / PassiveAggresiveNotes.com

The Good Part – Business Idea: Songparts.biz, why pay $.99 for a whole song when really all you want is the solo or the chorus? / In school PSA presentations like Scared Straight and how they could be improved by You Look Nice Today in marketing and branding (mostly by drinking heavily in front of students for 4 to 6 hours at a time.)

Lonely Polisher – Live episode / The YLNT Antique Road Show / The Gang have all babies with them and place values on humans / Accidentally becoming a collector / “I thought you loved _____” syndrome / Collecting Burger King collector’s cups / Collecting things thrown at Ashton Kutcher / The gang appraises random items from the audience / A fever dream vase with a cholera ribbon / A Rhodes monkey / Road monkey?

Angry Captain – Scott’s new porn star name / Yoga Farts / The 10 Commandments / Bar Mitzvah Crashing! Chanuka Crashing! / Reshooting major motion pictures with Adam in the lead role (Mostly Nicolas Cage movies, and Fiddler on the Roof.) / Angry captain is gonna have your badge! / Picks of the Week! – Sunflower seeds / Scott needs to figure out a way to trick his corner deli lady into telling him her name.

Vachina – Greeting Cards are Expensive! / There aren’t just rich people in Marin Country, there’s also the very rich / Self-tuning Mexicans / “Maybe the Best Pasta in China!” - Marco Polo / Buddhist supply stores / Ad Hoc Tai Chi / Couch vs Coch / Better studying through masturbation / East Arcadia State- YLNT’s fully unaccredited university and wildfire refuge / Giving commencement addresses in three part harmony, with a vocoder.

OPN♥WDE - The consequences of YLNT touring / The consequences of sitting in interior seats at the movies on your bladder / Adam’s brief career as a juvenile comic / Tour Buses / Adam’s 1986 VW Vanagon, with OPN♥WDE for a license plate / Expanding vanity license plates to include basic symbols and icons / Also making it legal to change other people’s license plates on the fly / Indian Guides / Crown Dancer / Young Native Americans dressing up as white suburban kids.

Christmas is Near - Merlin has terrible headphones / the YLNT Gift Guide / A coupon for one hug! / A Gift has been made to the Human Fund in your honor / Gift Cards / Scamming your loved ones for Christmas / Christmas Card Culture / Rent A Baby / Christmas Letters / Apologetica- The font for apologizing / 12 Steps programs / Big Ass Razors (for back shaving.) Top Secret Santa / The Real Origin of Santa / Naming Beard Hairs in honor of someone.

Nickelpuss - The real plot of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly / Car horns need to be more customized! / Priuses don’t come with horns, they come with dream catchers / Why can’t the car horn be used to steer cars? / Maybe car horns should pay famous sax solos (Careless Whisper comes to mind) / “There’s a really rich history of finding some flaw in your personality, buying something associated with that, then shining it on your car. Ladies love it.” / Fingerless Drumming gloves / Scott’s secular band (Major D) and non-secular band (Company of Praise) / Adult martial arts nerds / Merlin wanted to be in the Brady Bunch as a kid, Adam wanted to be on Webster / Creating a Richie Rich role model for today’s children, Joey Nickelpuss.

Faire Du Camping - John Hodgman and Jonathan Coulton guest / John Hodgman turned down a job selling sushi from a cart in Copley Square / Slumber Space- The Slumber Party store! / Jankey Vegetables / Business idea: ”No” Consulting – Helping Failing Business Fail Faster! / The French language is mostly English with a funny accent and goofy hat / The Quebecois Christmas tree sellers of New York City / The You Look Nice Today Christmas Tree Farm / Ladysmith Black Mambazo is actually You Look Nice Today.

Faux Tog - John Hodgman and Jonathan Colton guest / Jonathan doesn’t have the time for chess, or poetry / Slam poetry or slam chess, and other slam based board games are okay though / “Are you shitting on me?” / Slam Falconry / A dream interpretation booth for the Minnesota State Fair / Archimedes, the original carny / Everyone has the same dream- You’re naked, have no teeth and have to take a test / The apartment-related dreams of New Yorkers / Adams was the first to discover sex / Adolescent sexuality, summed up / Los Silento, and other 3rd world porn magazine / What does Faux Tog mean? / Scott worked at the Mall of America the first Black Friday it was open / Jonathan is a Heimlich Colonel / Turning First Aid into a revenue opportunity / Goth First Aid / Unpleasant job horror stories.

Selfish Express - John Hodgman And Jonathan Coulton guest / Quicksilver the movie / Bike messengers / Scott’s Prius / Bumper stickers / Poetry and Jonathan’s dislike of it / short stories / Business idea: a You Look Nice Today Branded MFA writing program and tenure track professorship / Deep Springs College / Business Idea: Celebrity Train Rides / Murder Mystery story workshops! / Business Idea: Booth at Minnesota State Fair- Fry your own Twinkies, or alternatively bobbing for Twinkies.

Who Voted? - Voting is sexier than you could ever imagine / Scott hands out ice cream to retarded people / Scott’s sexual fantasies are getting boringly complex / Adam tried to hypnotize himself into sexual magnetism as a teen / The Seduction Community is just IT guys in funny hats / The gang’s best pick up lines- “Can I ask you a personal question? What’s your name.” / The "I Voted" sticker is so smug.

Mr. Owl - Nose whistling / State quarters / Municipal quarters / Lil’l Me- A YLNT business idea where several actors who are varying years younger than you follow you around and learn your character so that if you ever have a biopic made of you, they’ll be ready to portray you in past years / Who would play The YLNT guys? / T.S. Eliot got his start at a Hooters, back when it was called Mr. Owl / Hooters themed by decade / Leveling out the power dynamics of garage sales.

Transitions - Where do you sit when all empty tables in the lunch room are occupied? / Orangutans eat with Orangutans / The gang tries to sell a “Where to sit” Decision Chart / The Gang’s plan to resurrect our nation’s failing photo development booths / “It’s like a compliment, but mean” / Adam’s acting career as “Hirsute man entering room.” / The gang promotes Transitions Brand Transitioning Lenses ™ / and menopause.

Man School – Merlin takes a call from his “wife.” / The new 90210 cast / The gang has a huge boner for Alec Baldwin / and George Clooney / The homo seat / The gang creates new archetypes / “Don’t waste time with a stereotype when you can break it down to two monotypes” / Robert McKee’s Story Seminar / Man School / Boy School / Why Scott envies the KKK / Nicknames / Robert Shaw / The commerce of comfort, and the comfort of commerce.

Tang Tangs - Scott: Father of the year! / The rich history of gas stations / They’ve got it in Dubai! / The Tang Tangs: Super hot rideable robotic women / The narcissism of optional nudity / Uggo’s: the Ugly Hooters.

Where’s The Ham? – The miserable world of telemarketing / Scott’s career as a sexual predator in the produce industry / Grade school teachers’ names that were way too easy to mock / Junior Ms. / – The gang’s clothing line for young girls (and future spinsters) / Let’s Skip Lunch Today / Buying a suit / The Male version of Lifetime.

The Tux Age – Do women actually use computers? / Retro-plagiarism: Thomas Jefferson stole the Magna Carta from Scott / Pity-following on Twitter / Dancing with the ugly girl at weddings / Making out with the ugly girl at weddings / Old Timey 1920's Radio / Baby Butlers of the Tux Age / What do you know, Joe? Apparently, not much / The diction of the past / Lots and lots of impressions of old timey singers / The megaphone is the new Autotune.

Rampant on the Field - Joey Lawrence is cool again / Have you ever been in fight? / A small man puts his hand in Scott’s wife’s fanny / Using Wikipedia to reduce the history of an entire people to one joke / The gang designs the YLNT coat of arms / http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charge_(heraldry) / Picking fights with Lezzies / Fire in the hole! / Birds pooping on Scott / The symbolism of guacamole / Marijuana.

Aunt Nancy – ColonCam Lifestream! / X-rayHotties.com and other domain names that are surprisingly still available / The Aunt Nancy - You Look Nice Today’s signature cocktail / Ginger ale and Maker’s Mark served with lots of cherries, a plastic drink sword kabob of a buffalo chicken tender pre-dipped in ranch dressing and a 2nd sword kabob of Mentos / You Look Nice Today Brand Wii accessory- A Spanish tutor that’s actually just a pretty woman w/ a cord attached / Body Movin’ – A game for when you’re stoned.

Expressed in a Vest – Ligatures / Penises are everywhere / The gang holds a fundraiser for Sacks-Minnelli Disease / Walk for the the cure? Fuck that, we’re smoking for the cure / Keep cheating on your wife for the cure / The gang realizes they are all mouth breathers / They decide to raise money for that instead / Putting women at ease late at night in darkened alleys / Exposing yourself to show that you’re not currently aroused / Karl Van Hœt inquires about XXXXL shirts / Is chess made up? / Castling was made up by a guy who was terrible at chess / The secret reason bishops shuffle / Sword fighting, and crossing the stream / Secret Etiquette / YLNT brand Etiquette / Possible responses to being flipped off / Karl Van Hœt fashions a vest out of several XL shirts / A men’s nightgown, expressed as a vest.

Live! Baby on a Dog - You can’t rehearse away the pain / Adam ate bagels in the restroom / Merlin Worked at McDonald’s / The Gang opens a restaurant in Butte, Montana called Baby on A Dog, a dark, harrowing journey into the misery and awkwardness of human existence, with free bread sticks.

Guaranteed Morrie - Once we were embarrassed of our parents, now it’s very much the other way around, Business Idea: Wisdom Experience- Aspiring writers can come to the YLNT brand nursing home and write down whatever old people say in the hopes of a Tuesdays w/ Morrie type book deal / Which superpower would you rather have? / Swimming in hookers / Funny accents, and the gang’s inability to do them correctly.

Early Bird – Testing the microphone / The YLNT Store / Adam’s Christmas Tree store / So Solly! The YLNT apology hour / Buyer’s Guilt / Spit up vs Throw up / Off-season Christmas tree selling / Gin: The punching drink / Getting Tight! / The gang decides to get in front of the next hipster trend: looking like your 70 / 30 years of alcoholism showing through the nose / DJ Trapper Keeper.

Truck Spank – Japanese isn’t real / The nude podcast / Blowin’ on Daddy / Merlin apologizes to oxygen, the Earth’s molten core / You Know What You Did Brand Hair Conditioner / It rains in November / Death is here, it’s queer, get used to it / Wearing glasses on a chain, when your under 35 / Merlin’s racist grandmother / A wallet on a chain is great for millionaires and retards / Joel Grey as an old Asian man / Extra large condoms / Giving fake names at Starbucks / Scott’s name says lacrosse rape / Maxi pads of yore / YLNT carnation of the week / What’s the opposite of a carnation?

Sacks-Minnelli Disease – Which items won’t you buy secondhand? / Fannypacks, the sweatpants of luggage / Young Jewish boys wearing jewllery / The Fishstick - The YLNT official dance, a “Facial Kagel” The Book of John, the “Hipster Gospel” / Why shave your head in solidarity with chemo patients? Why not be sleepy and nauseated while watching tv, in solidarity / The play Equus, and stunt cocks / The Gang reinvents the standing ovation for the 21st century / Sacks-Minnelli Disease, a serious concern.

Nary A Dude – Merlin’s zip code / Sheriff vs. Cops / Merlin reads the internet / Merlin’s seductive stubble / Sleeping ass / Scott’s balls have wanderlust / TV pilot: Scott’s balls work as an itinerant mercenary barber, solving crimes as they wander from town to town, voiced by Estelle Getty / I don’t bacon that at all / Eat oranges on Saturday and kill a virgin on Sunday / Fleet enemas / Cinnamon bidet / The toilet butler.

Jobbo - The real reason all of Adam’s friends growing up were Mormans / Jobbo - the “Which job is right for you” tests you take in college, which said Scott should design flatware / Adam doesn’t remember when he wanted to be a professional podcaster / Scott apologies to Nicaragua / Adam is a lazy person, who doesn’t know Spanish / YLNT wants to save public libraries, by destroying them / Are smelling salts, poppers and amyl nitrates the same thing? I hope so / Do you guys ever cry? / Scott goes through menopause a bit early / Who had the lamer Skateboard? / Shootin’ the Duck, on skates / The Fosses, Adam’s jazz hands based street gang / Merlin used to rollerskate to college.

Schadenfunny - Who farted? / You can scrub as hard as you like, but you still can’t pronounce French / Crazy Meat! / YLNT creates the news! / Men and their asses / Farting in the elevator / The Buffet at the Senior Center / Adam runs into Jonah Hill at a party / “Steampunk Waffles.” / Business idea- Instead of cookie dough ice cream how about just flour and eggs and sugar ice cream / “Let me grab that waverunner…” / Team Building Exercise ’98 / Rock ‘n Roll Space Camp / Being the ‘expert guy’ at a party / Corpse fucking / Merlin plays his guitar way too much.

Peak Hair - Scott’s covered in baby vomit / Merlin’s dial tone baby / Throat Singing / Scott and Adam will never have sex / You Guys! / The Other Zone / Wilson-Phillips / Goatees / Mirkins, the wig for your junk! / Adam likes TV / The failure of SNARE! / The YLNT Uniform, the world’s saddest German bondage costume / Chuck Norris Action Jeans! / Adam’s Ninja Star Belt Buckle / Rose of the Week.

Snare - Merlin ruins his computer / The New YLNT workout program- SNARE! mostly just playing a snare drum / Yoga is a myth / Rectal massage for colds / Ralph Macchio gets chunky / Naked time / It’s the nerdiest photo ever / Flip Cam / Adam smells like hugs and roses.

Known For His Reach - A short bus clap / Licking children’s mucus / The rotating heroes of guitar magazine / Music nicknames are the best nicknames / Pass the Goddamn Butter! / Drinking, lots of underage drinking / The first time you got drunk / Low hanging cymbals are for faggots / The gang all had terrible high school bands / Scott’s was Christain, and called Company of Praise / Why is Christian pop music so much worse than secular pop music? / Unitarians are sluts / Lady in shorts, car accident, cop / Merlin shills for Walgreen's mixed nuts, Adam and Scott share an awkward moment / The YLNT Weekly Carnation.

Morning Powder - YLNT demographic info- they skew so male they’re anti-female / Branded antiperspirant for all the women they make nervous, “Morning Powder.” / Replacing Adam with a trained monkey / Are comptrollers really just angry accountants? / Adam is hoarding the toilet paper / Royal Watcher- best job ever / Scott accidentally walks around with a loofah in his back pocket all day / Scott’s violent Bill Crosby dream / Imagining the Queen in a towel.