It is one of those deals with the devil that make modern life so complex: You take a good-paying job in the city while opting for a good life in the country or the suburbs.

The suburbs are more affordable, the schools are better, and the grass is greener. But the devil demands his price: The dreaded morning and evening commutes.

Everyone knows traffic is impossible and BART is jammed. That’s one reason for a boom in commuting by ferry. Ridership on the San Francisco-Alameda-Oakland run is up 115 percent over what it was five years ago, and the San Francisco-Vallejo ferries are carrying 66 percent more passengers than they were back then.

On most weekday afternoons, the lines for the Vallejo and Oakland ferries snake back from the docks to the front of the San Francisco Ferry Building, and sometimes passengers have to be left behind. And at the Larkspur terminal of the Golden Gate ferries, a 2,000-car parking lot is now simply not big enough.

It’s easy to see why people prefer ferries. “I used to ride in a carpool,” Keyla Jose said during a ride home to Vallejo the other afternoon. “But carpools are very stressful, with the traffic and the accidents, and then you get to the Bay Bridge.”

Jose spoke as if the bridge needed no further explanation. She was having a glass of wine on the ferry Mare Island, a good way to end a long day, she said. “There are no bars in a carpool,” she said, “and no bathrooms, either.”

The ferry trip is an hour each way, and it’s relaxed and social. “When you are on the ferry,” Jose said, “you are bound to slow down.”

That’s the added dimension that makes the difference for ferry commuters. Most of the regulars seem to know each other, which is not a surprise since they are in the same boat twice a day.

Some of the boats are more social than others. An informal survey puts the 5:30 p.m. run to Sausalito at the top of the list. The Sausalito boat is often crowded with tourists and bikes, especially in summer, but the afternoon commute belongs to the regulars, who are often greeted by name by the deckhands. You don’t see that on your afternoon bus ride.

Some of the regulars stand in little knots by the bar, nursing drinks, exchanging news and talk. “Like a club,” one passenger said.

The afternoon runs to Alameda and Oakland are more subdued. The riders seem to be a serious lot. As soon as the boat pulls away from San Francisco, the main cabin is as quiet as a Christian Science reading room. Many riders are plugging away on laptops, working their way across the bay.

But still, there is something in the air on the ferries, especially in springtime. “Relationships are formed on these ferry rides,” Jose said. “And sometimes, you know, they go bad, and you have a couple who split up still riding the same boat.”

“I could write a novel,” she said.

“I met my wife on the ferry,” said Pat Murphy, who spent 20 years working the boats, 10 as a deckhand and 10 as a captain. He’s part of a bay tradition. His father, Roger Murphy, was a founder of the Blue and Gold Fleet. Pat Murphy worked his way up and is now CEO of the company.

Murphy remembers when ferries had only a bit part in the Bay Area transportation picture. The boats were slow and rarely crowded. On Fridays, passengers on the East Bay ferries used to run organized commute parties, complete with bands and even wine-tasting events. “Some people would ride back and forth all afternoon,” he said.

It’s all changed now, Murphy said. The boats are too crowded for a band on a Friday afternoon. The ferry is serious transportation now, less fun, more business.

The shift began when the Legislature created what is now the Water Emergency Transportation Authority and provided a pipeline into bridge-toll revenue.

The authority adopted a new name — San Francisco Bay Ferry — and began a major expansion. It is adding seven new boats over two years — four on the East Bay run and three Vallejo boats.

But all this comes at a price. Ferries are expensive to run, and fares pay only about 60 percent of the cost of operation. The rest comes from bridge tolls and other government sources.

San Francisco Bay Ferry has big plans for further growth — new routes and more boats. But that depends on Regional Measure 3 on the June ballot, which would raise $4.6 billion in road and transit improvements. The ferries would get $335 million of this. The price: a $3 increase in bridge tolls, spaced out over six years.

Carl Nolte is a San Francisco Chronicle columnist. His column appears every Sunday. Email: cnolte@sfchronicle.com Twitter: @carlnoltesf