Just a day after genius legal impresario and sledgehammer enthusiast Jamie Casino reportedly landed a new reality show called Casino’s Law, a new lawyer has entered the hallowed halls of epic advertising.

The quote in the title is not paraphrasing. It is absolutely a line from the three minutes and 27 seconds of awesomeness that is this ad.

Check it out in all its glory….

This morning I saw a retweet from Spencer Hall of EDSBS:

my dude dan is a lawyer in pittsburgh and just made the best commercial ever http://t.co/RdnTJRF6Gx — SKINNY FRIEDMAN (@skinny412) March 6, 2014

Alright, I was intrigued. Then I watched it and my life was altered. Without further ado, meet Pittsburgh criminal defense attorney Daniel Muessig.

I’m on record defending lawyers who think outside the box with their commercials. But the roll call of criminals returning to a life of crime thanks to the intrepid Mr. Muessig is far afield of anything I could have imagined in my wildest dreams.

And probably far afield of what legal ethicists would have imagined a lawyer advertising in their wildest dreams.

UPDATE : It turns out this isn’t Daniel Muessig’s first foray into the pages of ATL. Under the name Dos-Noun, he wrote a rap while a student at Pitt Law.

Report: Georgia Lawyer Jamie Casino Is Getting A Reality Show [Deadspin]

Earlier: Jamie Casino’s Two-Minute Super Bowl Law Thingy

Hilarious Commercial Alert: Attorney Smashes Insurance Companies — With A Hammer!