LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

Media advisor to Prime Minister Scott Morrison has made a harsh call today and has informed the nation’s leader that a visit to the Sydney Mardis Gras is probably off the cards.

Towing the line that he is for all Australians, the PM’s media team concedes a Mardis Gras appearance from Morrison would at this point would be a pisstaking expose of mutual resentment set to the tune of Cher.

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea,” stated head of media Anthony Hollingsworth.

“On top of everything so far, I don’t know if it would be a good idea.”

While previous Prime Ministers have turned Mardis Gras into a kaleidoscopic selfie opportunity, Morrison’s media advisor has strongly recommended against the PM showing up, as doing so would be enough to make Turnbull look like a genuine ally.

Despite the planned abscence during the upcoming Mardis Gras and putting the teachings of a 2000 year old book over other living humans, the Prime Minister’s office insists they are for all Australians and would like to wish all those partaking a happy Mardis Gras.

“D’you know, the PM doesn’t mind a bit of Kylie too sometimes!”

More to come.



