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1. Work from the most remote corner you can find

A few years ago, I went on the internet and diagnosed myself with tuberculosis. And even though my diagnosis was completely wrong, I was legitimately ill and could have used a sick day— yet my boss insisted that I come in anyway . I was convinced that my presence would infect every single one of my friends and that nobody would ever talk to me again. But then as I walked into the office for work that morning, I remembered that there was a small room for salespeople to call their clients in relative silence that no one ever used. Maybe for you, it's a conference room that's always open. Or maybe it's an empty desk that's a few feet away from everybody else. No matter what it is, try to find somewhere you can sequester yourself and be as sick as you want without infecting the company.

2. Bring cleaning supplies everywhere you go for the day

This might sound silly, but hear me out. The unfortunate truth is that you're probably going to have to be around people while you're hacking up a lung. And while that's no fun for anyone, you can still take matters into your own hands by preparing yourself with the necessary cleaning supplies to wipe away any evidence that you were sick — especially if you happen to do so at someone else's workstation. Things like hand sanitizer, Clorox wipes and a simple packet of tissues can go a long way in keeping things as clean as possible for everyone around you. Of course, there's no guarantee that you won't pass on whatever it is you have. But showing your co-workers that you're aware of the fact that you're making their work environment a little icky will help them understand that if it were up to you, you'd be at home on the couch watching TV.

3. Avoid the temptation to work even harder than usual