Let’s play a game. It is sort of a choose-your-own-adventure make-believe game. Costumes optional.

You are about to graduate from Thing-Doing School and apply for a job as a professional Thing-Doer, as one does after attending Thing-Doing School. You inform your potential employer that you are interested in the Thing-Doing job but will be unable to perform Thing-Doing duties because of your religious beliefs. Your potential employer tells you, “LOL, that’s hilarious, but we are actually looking for a real Thing-Doer who is willing to perform Thing-Doing duties, because that is the job. Thanks but no thanks.”

…

It probably will not surprise you to learn that Wannabe Nurse Sara, who does not seem very S-M-R-T if you know what I mean, did not come up with this lawsuit on her own. No, she is the willing pawn of the Alliance Defending Freedom — which describes itself as (don’t laugh, I am not kidding) “a servant ministry building an alliance to keep the door open for the spread of the Gospel by transforming the legal system and advocating for religious liberty, the sanctity of life, and marriage and family.” If it sounds kinda hinky to you that an organization claiming to support “religious liberty” wants to transform the legal system to better spread the Gospel, you get a gold star, because it is TOTALLY hinky and is sort of exactly in contradiction of the First Amendment, under which the ADF is now suing because, well, because everything is wrong and fucked up and yeah, this is another one of those this-is-why-we-can’t-have-nice-things moments, thank Jeebus it’s Friday, who needs a drink?

The ADF claims it has filed this lawsuit, for Sara wink wink, against the Tampa Family Health Centers “for refusing to consider an applicant for employment as a nurse because she is a member of a pro-life medical association and has a faith-based objection to prescribing some birth control methods that could lead to an abortion.”