Alabama Law Grants Unwanted Babies to Night King

A formerly overlooked provision in the recent Alabama law banning abortion grants all unwanted babies to the Night King, including those conceived due to incest or rape.

Signed into law by Governor Kay Ivey nearly a year ago, the previously unnoticed provision states that all babies that remain unclaimed by their birth parents for longer than ten days “are thenceforth surrendered to the leader of that group known as the White Walkers, who goes by the title Night King, Lord Commander of the Army of the Dead, and Sovereign of the Reunited Westeros, its territories and environs.”

According to the textual history of the original legislation, the clause was added during a conference resolving different versions of the bill as passed by the Alabama Senate and House of Representatives. It is unclear who exactly introduced the provision, and thus far legislative leaders on both sides of the aisle have remained silent about its origins. Governor Ivey’s office has also declined to comment.

What also remains unclear is whether or not the so-called Tribute Clause has led to the surrender of any children, given that it does not specify any record-keeping requirements. This has led some commentators to speculate that at least some of the thousands of children who disappear each year from the state’s foster care system, many of whom are reported as runaways, have actually become offerings to the captain of an undead horde. Unfortunately, Freedom of Information Act requests submitted by Laserflail have so far gone unanswered.

Although state officials have been tight-lipped about the provision, some support for it has arisen among a small group of vocal pundits and extremists. Advocates highlight the potential cost savings of outsourcing foster care to a private organization. They also note the success of military intervention programs in diverting potentially troublesome behavior in children with high-risk backgrounds.

Critics of the provision, however, have called out the fact that the Night King is evil and turns his subjects into undead slaves.

It remains to be seen whether and how the Alabama legislature will address the provision now that it has come to light.