Nation's Progressives Give Thanks That They Have So Much To Be Angry About This Year

U.S.—In honor of Thanksgiving week, the nation's progressives have begun to give thanks that they have so much to be angry and offended about this year.

"Thank you, unspecified deity who may or may not exist, for giving us so much stuff to be outraged about," said Staci Walder, 42, of Portland, as she prepared her vegan, kale-wrapped turkey. "I'm truly humbled that you've blessed me with the Trump presidency, the patriarchy, the laws of economics, and biological facts to rage against."

"Every year, it's important to pause and recognize how much we have to be angry about."

"A lot of people struggle with gratitude, but I'm deeply thankful that the universe has given us a veritable cornucopia of things to be mad about," agreed Mary Wallace, 27, of New York. "I know that I come from a place of privilege, and when I think about those poor people who have absolutely nothing to be mad about, I utter a prayer of thanks to goddess."

Many progressives partake in an annual tradition of writing down all the things they're thankful to be mad about:

White people

Pronouns

Personal responsibility

Satire that does not affirm their viewpoint

Billionaires

Old tweets

32-ounce sodas

Plastic straws

People who hold a steady job

Appropriating other cultures

Excluding other cultures

Bush

Obama

Trump

Babies

Kanye West

America

"If we'd all just remember to count our outrages, we'd have a much worse attitude all the time," Wallace said as she looked over her own list of offensive things that dare to exist. "We should live our lives as though it's Outrage Thanksgiving every day."

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