http://kfor.com/2017/08/01/man-accused-of-having-sex-with-arkansas-couples-pet-donkeys/

Commentary by Ms Bob

An Arkansas man is accused of sexually abusing a couple’s pet donkeys on several occasions after he was caught having sex with the animals on a game camera set up to catch trespassers, according to Siloam Springs district court documents. Everett Lee Compton, Jr., 49, was arrested Monday in connection with five felony counts of cruelty to animals, according to KFSM. Compton also faces four misdemeanor counts of bestiality and criminal trespassing. The donkeys’ owners told police they’d been having trouble with people harassing their pets on Cheri Whitlock Drive for three years, according to the documents. Warnings for trespassers hadn’t stopped them, so the owners set up a game camera to catch intruders. The camera captured several images on May 27, June 4 and July 5 of Compton putting a bag over a donkey’s head, getting behind the animal and placing his pelvis against its rear, according to the documents. Siloam Springs police apprehended Compton on July 16 after he was caught having sex with another donkey on the same property, according to the documents. After officers spotted him in the bushes, he at first claimed he was only taking a walk, but, after he was told there was video, said that marijuana “makes him do sick things,” according to the Arkansas Democrat Gazette.

Alrighty then. I was aware a lot of men prefer ass, just not that type of ass. Maybe it’s just the queer in me, but I can’t help but wonder if the donkeys he raped were Jacks or Jennys. I mean, did he literally rape the asses in the ass? Inqueering minds wanna know these things.

But we do know the Arkansan prefers his asses hairy and blindfolded. C’mon, Everett. The ass wasn’t going to pick you out of a lineup. Why did you have to sneak up behind it and put a bag over its head? Its one thing to seduce the ass, it’s another thing to flat out rape the damn animal. Just be nice and pet it for a little while. Rub its ears. Feed it some fresh hay. Then maybe it’d follow you behind a tree so you wouldn’t get caught on camera. How embarrassing.

I can only imagine the jail chatter.

“Hey, Everett. What are you in here for?”

“Uhh. I’d rather not say.”

“What! You must be a child molester. Let’s beat his ass!”

“I swear I’m not a child molester.”

“Then tell us what you’re in here for.”

“I got caught raping several donkeys.”

“WTF! Let’s beat his ass.”

I conclude there’s only three possibilities that could result in Everett’s Ass fetish:

1. He visited a 3rd world country where sex with livestock while stoned on pot was common practice and he’s been hooked ever since.

2. He read a lot of Greek mythology and wanted to create a race of onocentaurs in NW Arkansas that would eventually take over the world and he would be their leader.

3. A family tradition passed down for generations in the Compton clan.

I’d wager a shiny shekel that it’s #2.

Everett, if you’re out on bail and not busy stalking donkeys in a nearby pasture, chime in and let us know. K?