“Don’t be so materialistic. I want to live the simple life” by your friend that drives the BMW and wears a $500 watch? Yet, justifies him/herself for “Just enjoying life.”

“Smoking is bad. Don’t do it.” by an addicted smoker.

“Do philanthropy and give.” by a businessman that argues for “It’s pure business. It’s survival of the fittest.”

Most of us have our “ideal self” and the “actual self.” We preach and demonstrate to others our “ideal self.” Yet, our actions shows our “actual self.”

Our rationality knows ideals well. But our emotions knows the real self even better.

Desires induce emotions, emotions induce the actual self. Hence we cheat when we shouldn’t. We hurt others for our self interest when we shouldn’t. We break laws when we shouldn’t.

Then we apologize “I know I shouldn’t have done it.” A critical person blames him/herself for lack of self control. A non-critical person finds some person/event to blame.

We tell ourselves that are are “this person.” But in reality we are not. Many of us overestimate our abilities, looks, and success. Sometimes for years, in this self-deception. So we stay in denial. Not wanting to hear others opinions of us. We continue to live in this denial of ours and wonder why we aren’t happy.

Self deception is sometimes great for confidence sake. But bad for self improvement.

That’s why a lot of times, watch what they do more than what they say.