This comic, about Vince Wilfork, featuring my podcast co-host Sam, inspired by a joke made on Intentional Sounding. Are you listening? Why not? Don’t do me dirty like that. Shame on you. Our dick jokes are good.

Recently Vince Wilfork was announced as the cover of the ESPN Body issue. In case you don’t read ESPN Magazine (why would you? It’s kind of pointless, especially in the internet age) the “Body Issue” is ESPN’s version of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue except actually somewhat respectable. Lets be honest here, the SI Swimsuit issue is PG porn disguised as a fashion issue. It’s pathetically transparent to the point of ridiculous. I mean, they decided to keep it relevant in the internet age by introducing the concept of body painting. Painting swimsuits onto ladies is not actual swimsuits. It’s an excuse to put “naked” ladies in their easy to purchase publication. The SI Swimsuit issue is a relic of pre-internet teenager jacking material and should be retired.

The ESPN Body Issue is far more interesting. It takes pictures of both male and female athletes, naked, in artistic ways that cover their squishy bits. It’s meant to show the beauty of the athlete and it’s thought provoking and frankly pretty interesting. I’m not saying it’s mensa-requirement type reading but compared to the SI PG porno issue the ESPN Body issue is at least Scientific American. They made waves a few years ago putting..larger man Prince Fielder in the issue, and have made even further strides for body acceptance this year with 325 lb. Vince “Is that a literal whale” Wilfork on the cover. I’m in favor of it. It’s nice to see something different and some appreciation for the fact that not every elite athlete is the same type. Some athletes are Hitmonlee, some athletes are Machamp, and some, like Vince Wilfork, are Snorlax.

That was for you, Sam.