Finding love can be hard, but when most systems are set up for people who aren't like you, it's even harder. Dating advice is largely focused on cisheteronormative society, which erases the experiences that nonbinary people face in romance. Whether it's dating apps that lack appropriate gender options, transphobic partners who don't validate your identity, or misgendering based on appearance, there can be a lot of obstacles for nonbinary people who aren't recognized by cisgender people.

Despite the challenges, when you exist as your most authentic self, there is also so much beauty in finding love — and it's totally possible. This is true for anyone in the dating field. To highlight both the successes and obstacles nonbinary people face, Teen Vogue talked to 10 nonbinary people about their experiences in love.

Khalypso, 19, They/Them

I came out as agender last year and, since then, dating has been somewhat different. Many of the men I’ve interacted with socially have misgendered me in significant ways through their behavior and language. In many ways, I’m still treated and perceived as a woman.

I would say that nonbinary people’s concerns about finding love are valid, but [they should] maintain hope. There are plenty of loving, accepting people that are willing to accommodate and embrace your identity. Know that the odds are fairly likely that you will be experiencing transphobia while navigating your local scene. If that’s too much to handle, reconsider whether or not dating is what you want to do at this current moment in your life.

As a nonbinary person, sex can be tricky. It’s important to know what you like and to express that with anyone you may be engaging with sexually. You still deserve pleasure and you deserve to have satisfying sex. Try not to sleep with people who fetishize your identity. It may seem harmless but it’s actually quite transphobic, and that kind of violence often becomes routine and perpetuated in more ways than sexually, which puts you in danger. Sleep with who you want but be safe, both physically and emotionally, about it. Love yourself enough to let the RIGHT people love you (whatever that looks like for you) and make sure you’re having fun!

Andrea, 19, She/They/He

I found fulfilling romance as a nonbinary person by prioritizing comfort and communication. There’s more to feeling valid than having a partner that finds you attractive in men’s clothing just as much as makeup. It’s being able to say, “I wanted to dress really feminine/masculine today because that’s how I feel.” Or, “I don’t really want you to touch my chest right now, but you can touch here instead.” My idea of nonbinary romance is a comfortable, loving space where experimentation and communication are always welcome.

Being nonbinary means dating and identity are weird, making romance and life at large seem so difficult. But I smile so big when [my partner] Will says I look like a cute boy in their button-up, or when we paint nails together, or when they need to bend down so I can reach up and fix their eyeliner. Of course being nonbinary has obstacles, but I am so grateful to experience this love and comfort with myself and another person.

Emden, 17, They/Them

I’ve cautiously approached relationships [while] identifying as nonbinary, sometimes even left it out of the equation simply out of fear of putting anyone off. I identify as pansexual, and I’ve generally found I can be much more comfortable in queer circles than interacting with straight people as there seems to be much more understanding and consensus.