Dear Ultimate Community,

We need to talk.

This will be a difficult conversation, it might make you uncomfortable — it’s meant to. But please, read (don’t skim) this whole thing through, absorb every single word, and let it simmer, don’t just discount them. If you’re not ready for this letter, I hope you have an epiphany soon because I need to believe that if Glenn Beck can support Black Lives Matter and decency, it’s possible that you can to.

Our community is special in so many ways. Our sport is governed by Spirit of the Game, we’re self-officiated, and we choose to devote much of our time, money, and energy to play, volunteer, or organize this sport. There’s no other community like this.

But there’s a problem. You see, we call ourselves progressive. We think we’re special. We argue that we’re welcoming, inclusive, and tolerant. That we don’t discriminate others based on race, gender, sexual orientation, class, ability, or any other form of identity. We love and welcome everyone.

But by claiming and embodying this progressive identity we erase the fact that there’s still a LOT of work that needs to be done. And we render those of us who still fail to see the dire necessity for gender equity and diversity, invisible. We ignore that our community, just like any other, is susceptible to trolls, to toxic masculinity, to discriminatory views, to unintentional (yet still just as harmful) biases, to bigotry and subtle racism. (Let’s see how this letter is received). We are still prone to ignorance and hate. To constantly claim we’re progressive is to ignore the fact that we have much work to do. And not just on the front for gender equity.

Gender equity is only one aspect of inclusion. And we cannot talk about gender, without also talking about race, class, and sexuality. We call this lens of looking at the world, this framework for solving problems, intersectionality. Think about it this way, the very notion of “inclusion,” can only exist with the practice of “exclusion.” We would not be able to fathom what it means to “include,” if we didn’t have a conceptual understanding of “exclude.”

Let’s look at this example: Feminism. Yes, we need feminism. As many amazing college teams and communities have pointed out, following the lead of Boston University’s women’s and men’s college ultimate teams, we all need feminism. Even if you’re a straight white male, you need feminism. And not because feminism applies to the women in your life. Yes it’s about women’s rights, but it’s also about debunking harmful notions of masculinity. You know, the narratives that men can’t cry, men can’t express emotion, men need to be taller than the person they’re dating, and men need to resemble hypermasculinity.

Even so, the problem with “Feminism” is that as a political and social movement, it is founded upon exclusionary practices. Feminism has historically excluded women of color, female-identified trans people, poor women, or women who don’t fit within the norms of respectability or “true womanhood.” Surprise, some white suffragettes were racist and upheld white supremacy.

This isn’t to try to discredit Feminism, the movement, or feminism, the ideological belief that gender should not predetermine one’s future. It’s to point out the importance of adopting and ingraining an intersectional lens in our daily understandings of the world we live in. Yes, Feminism is problematic, but how can we learn from it, engage with it, become conscious of its flaws, and build?

So as we continue these conversations about gender equity, we need to consider the role that race, class, and sexuality play. We need to think critically and apply consciously, intersectionality without wearing it out. It’s not always perfect. In fact, it’s incredibly messy and there will never be a straight-forward answer. But we need to continue to ask the hard questions, instead of taking the easy route, because those shortcuts are how we got here in the first place.

***

Post-Election

Immediately following the election, visible members of our community voiced some disheartening and disappointing posts. Let’s call it for what it is. There are people in this community who voted for Trump. There are people in this community who still fail to see why people are reacting the way they are against the president-elect. There are also people in this community who think it’s all a joke, that these next 4 years will be like any other, that people are over-reacting, that we live in a post-racial society or race doesn’t exist, that politics has nothing to do with ultimate, that their opinion should still be respected because it’s their opinion.

No.

An opinion that can be respected is, “A hammer throw is always a viable option.” Condoning the oppression of people of color, women, immigrants, non-gender conforming, or same-sex loving people is not a respectable opinion. Tolerating someone who is racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, or Islamaphobic, is not a respectable opinion. That is ignorance and complicity. And to ignore the seriousness of the moment we live in, the legitimate fears and realities for many of us in this community (let alone outside it) is to be complicit in the oppression of others. You may not think you’re racist or sexist, but supporting a candidate who is now the “Leader of the Free World,” says that you tolerate discrimination. This is not a matter of politics, of political parties, of the electoral system. This is about ideology and human life. This is about our literal existence. This is about the visible rise of Neo-Nazism and white supremacy in this country. This is about the dramatic increase of hate crimes and hate speech in this country. That despite all of the hateful, discriminatory, violent events that have occurred since November 8th, people in this community still think this is about the Democratic Party feeling bitter, think it’s just another election, continue to remain blissfully and naively optimistic that things will simply work itself out, and/or police the voices of marginalized people to say, “You’re over-reacting.”

This community is amazing. It is unique. But let’s stop romanticizing ourselves. Let’s stop pretending nothing has changed since the election. Because for how much we love criticizing a statement about growing ultimate while simultaneously promoting gender equity or the freedom of press behind a video of a dangerous bid, after Tuesday night’s election and the “ultimate gossip” preceding it, where was the ultimate media? And when people in our community expressed disdainful views, where were we? We’ve let those pass. We’ve made excuses — they didn’t really mean it, or it’s just their opinion. We’ve let a select few enact the intellectual and emotional labor that all of us should be doing.

And that, is the problem. In the face of oppression, silence takes the side of the oppressor, not the oppressed. Apathy feeds oppression.

Yes, race might make you uncomfortable. Sometimes, it’s easier to talk about gender, than it is race. Where do you start? What if you say the wrong thing? What if you mess up?

Try. Because if you don’t, then you’ll never learn, grow, and change. And that is a luxury, or what one might call a privilege, that you have.

Think about it this way. We all learned to play ultimate at some point, none of us were born and simply knew how to huck a disc, throw a hammer, or break a mark. We tried, we learned, we grew, we changed. We definitely did the wrong thing at one point, messed up along the way. It happens. That’s part of the process. It’s how you react to those moments, what you do with your mistakes that matter. Take ownership of your actions, your thoughts, your voice. Hold yourself accountable, hold yourself to a higher standard, to one that will make you better — and stick to it. Apologize when you need to, promise to keep learning, and stand up when it counts. And if you find that you’re in a position of privilege or power, hold others in those positions accountable. Because while you fear saying the wrong thing, there are others who fear losing their life.

If you want to continue to ignore it, if you want to continue to remain ignorant, if you don’t want to have the hard conversations because they make you uncomfortable, then think about this. Historically marginalized people are not afforded that privilege.

If we truly value this community and everyone in it, then we need to start acting like it. Otherwise, we don’t get to say we’re progressive and inclusive. Stop shutting down and tone-policing historically marginalized people in this community and start listening. Stand up for others, online or in real life, because this burden is not just for women or people of color to bear. If you consider yourself an ally, show it. Act with a sense of urgency. Help carry the burden. Educate yourself. Ask for guidance, but don’t let people do it for you. If you consider yourself an ally, use your power and privilege by calling others out. If you work with or coach young people, name prejudice and bigotry. If you have teammates, call them out and engage. Encourage difficult conversations. Use your influence to start the dialogue. If not for yourself, do it for your peers and this community. That’s one way you can start to reconcile privilege.

These next four years are not guaranteed.

We must start acting as if our life depends on it, because we all know someone in this community for which it does.

In solidarity with Chip,

Claire Chastain, Emily Regan, Rohre Titcomb, Leila Tunnell, Russell Wallack

***

You can start putting in the work by looking here. And if you disagree, please take the time to read these comics and articles before articulating your thoughts.

Intersectionality

A comic on privilege

Tone Policing and Privilege

What is white privilege?

What is whiteness?

What whiteness means in the Trump era

Ultimate and Male Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack featuring Claudia Dimick, Jimmy Mickle, and Claire Chastain