When it comes to designing a picket fence, there are many options to consider. The materials used to build the fence range from wood to aluminium to wrought iron. Then there are the tops. These are the decorative pieces that adorn the tops of the posts and pickets. They also serve as a security measure to prevent any bastards from scaling ya fence.

Well, there is obviously only so much they can do, as we found out this week when a fella in Russia ripped his cock off on one of these toppers. The 27-year-old was cut down in his prime after attempting to scale the fence. It was revealed that alcohol was a strong contributor in the incident. Go easy on the piss, mate!!

To make matters worse, it doesn’t look like the picket top is particularly sharp, meaning it would have torn it off rather than sliced off cleanly.

Luckily he landed on the correct side of the fence after the failed jump and managed to stagger his way to the local hospital for evaluation and probably a tetanus shot. Judging by the photo below, the man decided to leave the severed portion of his appendage hanging from the picket top. It serves as a grim warning to others with the same idea.

I would have thought that he would at least bring his cloven member with him to explore the option of reattachment. It’s been done before in different cases and could be the difference between having kids down the track and not. Fair to say this bloke’s put his chances in a fair amount of jeopardy.

But prevention is better than a cure: He should have consulted Joseph Caputo who executed a perfect high leap of the White House fence in 2015. Not only was his jump performed holding a folder in his mouth, but he survived, penis intact.

Overall, this story sounds bloody far fetched, but apparently Police confirmed the incident to Progorod58, a local news website.

‘The man said no-one else was involved in the accident. He impaled himself while climbing over the metal fence.’ …is the most info the cops are putting out there. I guess anything is possible in this mad world of ours these days!

H/T: Daily Mail