Let me start out by saying we were extremely disappointed and wish I was writing a much better review today! My wife and I have traveled the world; we have stayed at some great places, some basic places, and some not so great places. And this is where our story (Review) begins;



We made a reservation for a split 4 nights special, paying $535. The representative, Lymari, which booked the reservation, was very nice and willing to answer any questions we had since it was our first time at a clothing optional resort. I guess the worst part is that we didn’t know the right questions to ask.

We read the mixed reviews of the Caliente, however, we know reviews can be hit or miss and we have always had things work out very nicely in our traveling past. So we decided to make the reservation.



My wife and I have had a busy year and we wanted to do something adventurous and get out of town for a weekend. We were looking forward to lying out naked and enjoying the amenities of what Caliente advertised.



We drove for approximately 6.5 hours on Friday (01/03/20) anticipating the new adventure and weekend. We arrived around 5pm on Friday. Immediately you could see that the sign out by the road appeared dated and when we drove up to the security office it appeared in the same run down manner. The security guard was very nice and gave us instructions on how to find the front desk to check in. Once we drove into the gate I was kind of shocked. Where were the grounds that are in the photos and videos? We past the hotel on our left and at the time was hoping that it wasn’t where we were staying.



We entered the front entrance and were immediately met by a security guard and walk through metal detector. We went to the front desk, and went through the registration process and rules of the resort. What I could not get over is that the “Fine Dining”, the Bar, and the “Nightclub” are all in an out dated lobby area. There was nothing welcoming about it.



We went to get in vehicle to head to our room, and we both commented that the lobby needed some work and cleaning. We pulled into the parking lot of the hotel and it was the building we had passed earlier, in need of a nice pressure wash, cleaning and overall repair. One of the house keepers were working on a room and said hello, one thing about it…everyone we met was very friendly.



We went to our room (M205) and it was a shock. We looked around and really could not believe it. There wasn’t one thing in the room that we liked. The curtains were torn, dirty, and barely hanging onto the broken curtain rod. The TV cabinet was in disrepair, broken hinges, etc. No closet doors, just an opening with a small ironing board up on a shelf. The shower was yellow with a cheap water miser shower head. The phone would not even call to front desk; I had to call them on my cell phone. The bed was worn out, with the mirror over that had spots/stains on it. And this is one of the rooms they have stated in their review replies with “new” flooring. Half the room has new LVP flooring.



My wife was very upset; we had been looking forward to this weekend for a long time. When we called the front desk they said we can leave, however, there are no refunds. We had been on the resort at this point less than 20 minutes!!! They said we can use the money for day passes to come back. There was never an offer of another room, a condo, nothing. The conversation immediately went to we can leave; however, we would not receive any money back. The front desk person said she would speak to a manager. We eventually paid nearly $300 for a room we were in less than 5 minutes!



To the managers, members, and home owners of this resort/club…I would be embarrassed of the condition that your resort and grounds are in. Whoever manages this place, there is nothing welcoming, inviting, or luxurious about the place that we saw. And here it is Monday evening, not one email or phone call from a manager of why someone would pay nearly $300 and leave the resort in 20 minutes or less. Very disappointing. However, I fully expect an online snarky response to this review.



Please if you decide to go here, make sure you know what you are getting into!