You haven’t quite heard what we’re saying—we’re praying—

We’d let you, but atheists really don’t pray

We call on a spiritual being, but seeing

As atheists don’t, there is nothing to say

We see your complaint as illusion; ”exclusion”

Implies that you once had a chance to be heard

You didn’t. This can’t be excluding—quit brooding! —

An atheist prayer? Why, the thought is absurd!

Are hippos “excluded” from flying? I’m trying

To think of a way that this even makes sense!

An atheist prayer? Oxymoron! Implore on—

Your huffing and puffing is all a pretense!

You’d “pray” to the people who hear you? It’s clear, you

Have no real conception of praying at all!

You’re different from us, no denying—quit trying

To claim the protection of Jefferson’s “wall”!

Via “Christian Today” (which means that mainstream media had more important things to write about), a Florida County’s response to the Greece, NY ruling.

Brevard County, FL, isn’t excluding atheists from participating in the invocations that begin their meetings… because… because… because reasons.

“The invocation portion of the agenda is an opening prayer, presented by members of our faith community,” she said. “The prayer is delivered during the ceremonial portion of the county’s meeting, and typically invokes guidance for the County Commission from the highest spiritual authority, a higher authority which a substantial body of Brevard constituents believe to exist. “The invocation is also meant to lend gravity to the occasion, to reflect values long part of the county’s heritage, and to acknowledge the place religion holds in the lives of many private citizens in Brevard County.

Which you godless atheist bastards wouldn’t do, so we aren’t really “excluding” you, since you don’t do that. Get it?

“The Commission respectfully takes issue with the claim that members of your organisation are being excluded from presenting their viewpoint at County Commission meetings.” The chairwoman offered to let the Central Florida Freethought Community speak for three minutes during the public comment portion of the commissioner’s meeting.

You can drink from the “atheists only” fountain, so it’s all cool, right? You are not being excluded, except from the stuff we think you don’t want to do.

Or, you know, the stuff we won’t let you do. Same diff.

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