by Inda Lauryn

encompass[ing] the sexual knowledge, beliefs, attitudes, values, and behaviors of individuals. Its various dimensions involve the anatomy, physiology, and biochemistry of the sexual response system; identity, orientation, roles, and personality; and thoughts, feelings, and relationships. Sexuality is influenced by ethical, spiritual, cultural, and moral concerns. All persons are sexual, in the broadest sense of the word.

Types of Attraction











Sexual Orientation and Romantic Attraction

Relationship

Gender Identity











Photo: Shutterstock

In 8th grade, I was part of a teen panel that traveled across the state promoting abstinence. If this group had any value, it began my understanding of the differences between gender and sexuality. During this time, I was taught that gender is how a person identifies as male or female; and sexuality is how a person identifies as a sexual being, either heterosexual or homosexual. While this helped me understand the difference between gender and sexuality at a young age, I came to see that this is a woefully inadequate and incomplete look at gender and sexuality.I have since come to understand the there is a lot more to sexuality than binary gender identity and sexual orientation. Many cisgender, heterosexual (definitions below) people do not realize that both gender and sexuality fall on a spectrum and are often fluid. Accepting this is crucial to being a better ally to LGBTQ (or QUILTBAG) sisters who face unique experiences, oppressions, and issues due to how they identify in regards to their gender and sexual identities.Below, I have included a few terms to describe orientation, attraction, identity, and relationship status. This is not an exhaustive list, as there are subcultures within many identities—and still, many people reject formal labels altogether—but it may work as a primer for those unfamiliar with the various types of sexual and gender identities throughout the spectrum. Also, please know that I welcome any corrections, clarifications and additions.First, it is important to give more comprehensive definitions of gender and sexuality, than what many of us were taught in sex-ed classes:is how a person identifies and expresses themselves as male or female, or—for many—somewhere in-between. This relates to social and cultural norms, expectations, values, attitudes, and behaviors. Gender is not the same as biological sex, but many conflate the two.describes the kind of sex organs, chromosomes, and hormones a person has, and thus how they are often described: male, female, or intersex. Gender and biological sex are separate from each other.refers to someone born with genitalia or sex characteristics not classified as male or female. It may also refer to someone born with genitalia or characteristics classified as both male and female. An intersex person may identify with any gender on the spectrum as well as intersex.According to the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS),is defined as:refers to when a person identifies as non-heteronormative. This can be gender or sexual identity, so I include it as a standalone term as an identity here.Anmeans a person has an impersonal attraction based on an appreciation of someone’s physical attributes or demeanor.means a person has an attraction based on a desire to experience a romantic relationship with someone.means a person has an attraction based on the desire to touch someone, but not necessarily in a sexual way.means a person has an attraction based on a desire to participate in sexual acts with someone.(Note: Some people use the "-sexual" term to indicate both romantic and sexual attractions.)means a person does not experience romantic attraction.means a person does not experience sexual attraction.means a person experiences self-gratification rather than other types of sexual activities.means a person experiences romantic attraction to their own gender and a different gender(s).means a person experiences sexual attraction to their own gender and a different gender(s).means a person rarely experiences romantic attraction. It is sometimes used as an umbrella term for demi- and lithromantic.means a person rarely experiences sexual attraction. This means a person identifies in the gray area between asexuality and sexuality. It is also called semisexual, asexual-ish and sexual-ish. It is also sometimes used as an umbrella term for demi- and lithsexual.means a person experiences a romantic attraction after developing a strong bond. This type of attraction usually occurs more often in romantic than sexual relationships but it occurs in both.means a person experiences a sexual attraction after developing a strong bond.means a person experiences romantic attraction to gender(s) different than their own.means a person experiences sexual attraction to gender(s) different than their own.means a person experiences romantic attraction to the same gender as their own.(most commonly referred to as gay or lesbian) means a person experiences sexual attraction to the same gender as their own.means a person experiences romantic attraction to others but does not desire reciprocation.means a person experiences sexual attraction to others but does not desire reciprocation.means a person experiences romantic attraction to all genders or regardless of gender.means a person experiences sexual attraction to all genders or regardless of gender.means a person experiences romantic attraction to multiple genders but not necessarily all genders.means a person experiences sexual attraction to multiple genders but not necessarily all genders.means a person experiences romantic attraction to non-binary gender individuals.means a person experiences sexual attraction to non-binary gender individuals.means a person desires or seeks having an intimate and/or sexual partnership with one person.means a person accepts, desires, or seeks having more than one intimate and/or sexual partnership with the consent of all individuals involved in the relationship.refers to a person who does not identify with any gender.means a person has characteristics and/or a gender identity regarded as both masculine and feminine.refers to a person who identifies as a combination of both binary genders.refers to a person who identifies with the gender assigned to them at birth.refers to a person who identifies outside the gender binary and may include different genders like agender, bigender, pangender, and third gender.refers to a person who does not identify within a gender binary.refers to a person who does not identify with gender and falls neutrally between male and female.refers to a person who identifies as all genders including non-binary genders.refers to someone who identifies as a gender part of a ternary gender system.refers to a person who identifies as a different gender than the one assigned at birth.refers to a person whose gender changes among female, male, and third gender.refers to someone in an Aboriginal or indigenous culture who takes on multiple gender roles within that specific culture. Non-Aboriginal people may not identify as Two Spirit.We should never assume a gender identity or sexual orientation for anyone and definitely should not use being cisgender or heterosexual as a default identity. It is important to respect the identities of non-heteronormative people and refer to them by the names and pronouns with which they identify. We must also accept and respect that gender identities and sexual orientations may change over time as they are fluid, but remain valid.