CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

“How good are fireys!” he says to himself in the mirror.

“No… nah I can do better” he mutters to himself. He tries again.

“The Quietly battling Australians. Battling fires quietly…”

“No. Not good enough”

“Okay one more and then it’s time for a Fat Yak”

He takes a deep breath. This is when he does his best work. When he’s cornered against the wall. Just like when he was the head of Tourism Australia and needed to come up with a borderline edgy campaign with a half naked Lara Bingle before he got sacked for no reason in particular but still paid out.

He has another crack.

“MATESHIP….”

“No..No….”

“BLOKESHIP!”

Scotty From Marketing is under the pump this week.

Not only has he had to merge 18 departments into 14 and sack hundreds of academics to justify the $88M he’s just tipped into another security agency aimed at doing Peter Dutton’s job for him – but he’s also had to promise Jacqui Lambie an extortionate amount of funding for fuck knows what to get her to sign off his plan to not allow critically injured and dying refugees medical treatment on the mainland.

All with the back drop of having 10% of the continent burning due to the extreme, climate-change-aided weather patterns that have led to uncontrollable bushfires.

40% of NSW National Parks are currently under threat of being annihilated, which has timed horribly given the fact his state colleagues only just slashed half the funding to the NSW Rural Fire Service.

But it’s not just his regional and outer metropolitan voters that are at risk. The inner-city elites are copping it as well.

This has also resulted in extreme smoke coverage both Canberra and Sydney. Making life very hard for his constituents that pretend they didn’t vote for him.

That’s why he needs to come up with a fucken good slogan.

Now.

“Blokeship trumps hardship,” he says.

“A Blokeshipment of brave emergency personnel!”

“That’s it,” he says.