…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…

…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…

…It’s Cool To Wear Organs On The Outside Now…

…Prophecies Of Nostradamus’ Page-A-Day Calendar Ends On March 9th…

…Everyone In Hardware Store Clearly Planning A Murder…

…Fun Run Isn’t…

…Tampax Introduces Pink-Colored Products Just For Women…

…Best Way To Get Rich: Finding Bag Of Money In Woods…

…Most Rocks Are Walnuts…

…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…

…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…

…Rest Of Maroon 5 Probably Has Names…

…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…

…According to studies accordions are unsteady…

…Hitler Pleads With Time Travelers To Stop Killing Him…

…Dems Vow To See Zach Snyder Cut Of Mueller Report Released To Public…

…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…

…Fancy Teens Start Garage Orchestra…

…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…

…Woman Totally Okay With Turning 23…

…Dip Can Be Eaten Without Chips…

…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…

…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…

…RC Cola Secret Recipe Kept In Open Shoebox In Headquarters Lobby…

…Devastating New Documentary Changes Nothing…

…Gap Year Spent Working At The Gap…

…Thing Assumed To Be Chocolate-Filled Turns Out To Be Blueberry-Filled…

…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …

…70 Percent Of Americans Don’t Get Enough Sheep…

…Lady In Old House In Neighborhood Not Witch, Just Regular Murderer…

…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…

…Community Garden Offers Free, Gross Vegetables To Neighborhood…

…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…

…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…

…Trail Mix Sustains Man For Journey To, From Trail Mix Bowl…

…Girl Scouts Unveil Four New Flavors Of E-Juice…

…Blood Drive Cookie Tastes Like Blood…

…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…

…Kid Rock Now Available In Menthol…

…Horrible Man Drives Wonderful Car…

…Man Finds Mannequin Far Too Attractive…

…Netflix Adds Fifth Movie…

…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…

…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…

…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….

…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…

…Little Bits Of Paper Left On Starburst Counts As Fiber…

…60-Year-Old Man Doesn’t Feel A Day Over 58…

…No One Looks Good In Jeans…

…Michelle Obama Spotted Sneaking Vegetables Into Sleeping Kids’ Mouths…

…Man Who Bought Tampons For Girlfriend Expected More Fawning…

…California Bans Genetically Modified Farmers…

…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…

…Picture Now Worth About 40 Words…

…Below Surface, Small Town Exactly What It Seems…

…Thinking Outside The Box Leads To Unimaginable Sorrow…

…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…

…Man Experiences The Miracle Of Flight With Powerful Bidet Toilet Attachment…

…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…

…Ambitious Widower Gets Stages Of Grief Down To Four…

…KFC Secret Recipe Has Been Inside You All Along…

…Scientists Discover That Human Body Is Disgusting…

…Mayor Doesn’t Declare Opposite Day…