No matter how you feel about globalization or free trade, something seems a bit off about importing people. Maybe it's the whole slavery thing or the West's history of colonization. Here are a few websites that might pique your interest, and in turn, rack your soul with guilt.

6 KievConnections.com

These ladies from Kiev, Ukraine are seeking eligible bachelors for meaningful relationships (i.e. visa sponsorships). Like many international bride sites, Kiev Connections allows you to either make contact through a translated letter and/or by sending gifts, including flowers, chocolates and teddy bears. All of which will be burnt for heat during the winter.

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Sample Profiles:



This is Natasha. She's an accountant, but likes to spend her spare time practicing the art of undoing her pants without breaking overly intense eye contact with you. Also, she has the head-to-body ratio of a bobble head doll.

Here is Tatyana posing next to the tree she hides behind during Cossack raids.

True Love Testimonial:



"I am the luckiest man in the world. I have a wife who unquestionabl[y] loves me. She is the most wonderful lady I have ever known and I am proud to call her my wife. We are also VERY much in love and every minute of every day is spent together."

This comes from Brett, who also happens to be the proprietor of Kiev Connections. He's an American that had bad experiences with other mail-order bride sites before meeting his wife and getting his own pimp on. In other words, he's not just the president of the Former Soviet Harem Club for Men, he's also a client.

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From the FAQ:



"Aren't there any decent men in Ukraine?"

"Unfortunately, it is very difficult for a Ukrainian man to provide for his family. There are few well-paying jobs in the Ukraine. How can the men here take pride in themselves if they can not provide for their family[?] The result[:] Ukrainian men bend to peer pressure and drink and drink."

Of the many, many things that cause men of the Ukraine to drink--things like, say, their wife leaving them for a pock-marked IT guy from Kansas City--they go with "peer pressure." Apparently, this devastated nation is just a few Saved by the Bell-message-episodes away from getting back on the right track.

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Chances of Finding Everlasting Love:

A perusal of the profiles reveals that many of these women don't speak English and are attracted to qualities like "independence," "self-sufficiency" and "financial loaded-ness." If you're rich and don't mind spending months to years in an uncomfortable silence, and are not totally devastated by the stiflingly depressing idea of buying a poor man's wife away from him, by all means give it a go.