Elsa twirled her pen, the inlaid gold catching the light from her desk lamp, as she looked over the towering stack of manila envelopes on her desk. She was more than capable of pushing her work onto associates, but she was determined to prove to her new equals that her promotion was not simply due to her strange new friendship with Gaston. I know I've proven myself more than enough times already, but I just took two weeks off right after getting a promotion, and I'll be damned if I let them think I was running away from a challenge.

She was, of course, fully aware of how silly this sounded. She'd been there for almost eight years now, and had made her skill and dedication abundantly clear. The only rumors running around were about her and Tiana, and that was precisely the problem. She liked having a conflict to deal with, she loved competing with her coworkers - it had been the entirety of her friendship with Anastasia after they broke up - but now, everything she'd wanted was hers. She had her dream job, her dream girl, and her dream life. She'd even reconnected with her sister. All that was left was to get her name on the wall, but given the rate she'd managed everything else, even that wouldn't take much longer. I need a challenge!

Fortunately for her, the fourth envelope in the pile offered her just what she needed – an unwinnable case. She flipped through it, studying the facts. There wasn't an ounce of information in her favor. Kuzco jr had only been released from jail three weeks before his arrest, and no lawyer on Earth could prevent him from going back for at least a decade. She had something to prove and now she had a way to do it.

Forcing her grin out of her voice, she called her client. Kuzco Sr. answered on the second ring. "You're finally back!" He sounded frantic, exhausted, and more than a little relieved. Has he slept at all the last three days? You'd think he'd be used to this by now. The kid gets arrested almost once a month. "Ms. de Ville offered to take the case off your hands, but there's no one else I'd trust with this. Please say you're still taking it. He messed up, but you know he's a good kid at heart. He didn't mean to hurt anyone."

"He killed the guy he was robbing."

"It was self defense!" he wailed. It's weird hearing him like this. What happened to that beleaguered good humor with which he always handled his son's various crimes?

"The law isn't on his side there. Self defense doesn't apply when you're the one instigating it."

"So you're saying you can't win? Isn't there anything you can do?"

The grin she'd been hiding shifted into a smirk. This really was exactly what she needed. "I didn't say I couldn't win it."

"But you said –"

Her mind was racing, trying to think of any case law that she could apply. New York wasn't anywhere near as bad as some states were for this, but it was hardly going to make things easy. At least it's not Texas. "I'm going to need to meet with my client. I'll see what I can do."

"Ms. Agnarrsen, please. I need you to win this. My son can't survive in prison."

Clearly he can. "I'll do everything I can, Mr. Kuzco. You have my word."

"Thank you."

With that, he hung up, and Elsa was left staring at the case file, trying to wrap her head around what she could possibly argue. That's whyGod made associates and paralegals. She had gotten him out of some pretty impossible cases before, but this one put a whole new meaning to unwinnable. At least he testifies well, who'd want to convict that idiot?

Elsa left her office to go wrangle a few associates into doing some research for her, as this case was clearly going to need it. Where is Belle? I could really use her.

She didn't see her anywhere in the hallways or in the break room. Downstairs, she found Belle's cubicle empty. Her tedious little knickknacks were missing, as was the framed picture of her and Anastasia, and even the monitor was gone. What the hell?

She turned to the nearest associate, who was only four feet away, "Where's Belle?"

She shrugged. That was not terribly helpful.

Fortunately the guy on the other side of Belle's cubicle was eavesdropping. We clearly do not give them enough work, I'll have to see to correcting that. "She quit," he explained.

Elsa paused. It's not like I hadn't been saying that she should since day one, but why now of all times? I was finally starting to like her.

She gave the two associates - whose names she still hadn't learned - the task she'd come to give Belle, and returned to her office. I can't believe I'm saying this, but they won't do anywhere near as good of a job as she would have. I haven't seen another associate who could navigate our law library quite like she could.

Anya answered on the fourth ring. "Elsa? What's up? I'm at work, but I could meet for lunch if you wanted to."

That actually wasn't a bad idea. She hadn't eaten yet, and having some food in her before she had to visit the jail seemed ideal. "Sure, Oaken's at eleven?"

She could hear some papers shuffling on the other end of the phone. "Does 10:45 work? I have a meeting with a client at 11:30?"

Glad to see her firm's keeping busy. Elsa paused for a moment to consider that. It was the first time since it had happened that she'd been at all okay with her friend's departure, let alone happy for her. Maybe Anna's right about me after all. "10:45 is perfect."

"Great, see you then." She hung up.

Shit. I forgot to actually ask about Belle! I guess I'll just do that over lunch.

Thumbing through the rest of her desk's contents of files, she found another handful of cases that all seemed pretty easy. There was nothing anywhere near as interesting as Kuzco's latest debacle. Though, looking at the Menendez case, she was rather relieved that it had fallen to her. The associate that had been working on it had managed to thoroughly screw it up. I'll have to have a word with Gaston about this. She glanced back at the paper, she'd already forgotten the attorney's name. Rufio is certainly not going to last long here if this is the normal quality of his work.

She called up the head of Agrabian Dynamics. She had time to kill and needed to earn some billables. "Hi, Mr. Iago? This is Ms. Agnarrsen of Gaston, Phillip, & de Ville. I think you may want to have another look at this case before I go have a chat with your lawyer." What's the point in violating legal ethics without a good implied threat?

"Ms. Agnarrsen? What happened to Mr. Basco? I'm sure you're new, so why don't you go and talk to your boss, and he could explain that this was all sorted out."

Wow, my reputation doesn't precede me for once. I love it when they're dicks, it makes crushing them so much more rewarding. "Mr. Basco has been reassigned. It seems that he missed something rather vital that you tried to bury in discovery."

"I –"

"No, that's quite all right, one wouldn't expect a big corporation to play fair. Particularly not one who already had an internal memo addressing the study that showed that their latest medication could lead to the shutdown of the liver, kidney, or heart. The people who play fair don't have those memos, and they certainly don't have to deal with me." She ran her thumb over the short note lovingly attached to the very helpful memo. Belle really is the best at research.

"We didn't do anything wrong, we turned that memo over."

"No, see, you did something wrong by letting the drug go to market despite that study, and burying it up until now. Actually giving it to us just makes you stupid."

"Ms. Agnarrsen!"

"The number is twenty million."

"No admission of liability?"

She smirked. She had missed this game. "That will be forty million."

"This is extortion!" A loud thud sounded over the phone. He'd either slammed his fist on his desk or fallen out of his chair. Elsa preferred to imagine the latter.

"If that's how you feel, then I'm more than happy to see this case go to trial. I do wonder what a jury will think about that memo though. They'll likely add a few more zeroes and there will absolutely be an admission of liability. And then the floodgates will be open to even more lawsuits, assuming that we don't find a few more ourselves and make this into a class actions suit."

"All right," She thought she could hear the squeak of the leather as he climbed back into his chair.

"Perfect, I'll have the paperwork faxed over to you. You're welcome to let your attorney have a look at it, just make sure you have it back to me by the end of business today."

He grumbled in the affirmative.

"It's been a pleasure talking to you."

"You can go to hell."

Rolling her eyes, Elsa bit her lip, trying to keep from laughing. He can't even keep himself professional for something this small? How has he managed to last a day as CEO? I'm sure the board will get rid of him as soon as they hear about this, if they weren't planning on it already.

Elsa withdrew the note once she hung up. It read "Elsa, I don't know if you've even noticed that I'm gone yet, but I wanted to at least make sure I didn't leave you empty handed. I did the research for all of the cases that were on your desk. I hope too many more didn't pile up.

"It's been an absolute pleasure working for you, and I hope this doesn't harm our friendship. You know how much I look up to you. You're everything that I hope to be some day.

"I didn't have the heart to turn in my two weeks notice until you left. I'm sorry, if we're still on for dinner the weekend you get back then I'll give you a proper goodbye then.

"Love,

"Belle

"P.S. Apparently you got a couple new cases since I last looked, I left a box with relevant books and files in the corner. Sorry I couldn't be more help!"

Why did I hate her again? Great, now I'm going to have to tell Anya how great her girlfriend is, just because she did her damn job. She rose and dragged the box to her desk. The thing weighed a ton. Kuzco's case must not have been there when Belle left, as there was nothing on Felony Murder, but there was enough for her to finish up the remaining cases before the end of the week. I almost miss her.

When she arrived at the cafe, she found Anastasia already waiting at a table, with a cup of coffee and a half-finished scone in front of her, and a coffee and chocolate croissant across from her. She knows me too well. I should not be that predictable. She took a seat across from her and took a sip of coffee before greeting her friend. "Morning. You can thank your girlfriend for me. I already managed to settle two of the cases that ended up on my desk thanks to her research."

Anya laughed. "You know you don't have to do every case that someone hands you anymore, you're a full partner."

"Of course I don't have to, and they don't expect me to, that's why finishing them all by the end of the week looks so impressive."

"Sure it does, Elsa. You just always have to look impressive." She tore a piece from her scone and tossed it into her mouth.

"It's the only way I'm going to have my name on the building before I'm forty. Really though, Anya, please thank her for me, Belle did an amazing job. She really is the best at research."

She blinked. "Where's my Elsa? You don't have to say that, I know you're not too fond of her."

"I wasn't, but even when I liked her the least I still knew she was good at research. Now that we've grown a bit closer, and she just managed to do the work of four associates in half the time, I'm really going to miss her. Gaston, Phillip, and de Ville is really losing out here. I hope she found a good place, somewhere that will value her far more than I ever did."

That managed to bring a genuine smile to Anya's face. "I certainly hope I'll value her. I was scared to tell you, but it's been so great having her here this week already."

"You're the one that stole her?!" Elsa took in a deep breath. You're better than this. You managed to get over her last betrayal, this is nothing. She poached her girlfriend, you can hardly blame her for that. Still, though, it's a really bad idea. "Sorry, I know it's not like that. I'm happy for you, really, but Anastasia, this is a bad idea. You don't want to be your girlfriend's boss. That's just a recipe for disaster."

She scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest, her smile having completely vanished. "I knew you'd react like this. Everyone is always either betraying you or betraying the firm. It's a fucking business, Elsa. God, I can't believe this. For a second there I really thought you had changed."

Elsa forced herself to remain calm. She could understand why Anya was acting like this. If I just hadn't snapped at her immediately then she wouldn't think that's what this is about. "Anya, I'm not mad at you, or her. You're probably the best boss that she could have, you'll treat her better than we ever did, but I am worried about you."

"Sure, of course that's what it is. Just like you were so worried about me when I started my own practice that you didn't speak to me for two years."

"I spoke a little – I know I was horrible to you. I'm sorry, but please, just listen to me. I love you, you're my best friend, and I don't want to see either of you end up hurt by this, and this could be really dangerous for the both of you. Going into business together is one thing, but being her boss –"

"Just forget it, Elsa." She rose to her feet, staring Elsa down in her seat. "She's not going to run off on me too if that's what you're worried about. For fuck's sake, I know you have your abandonment issues, but she's not Anna. And neither was I."

Before Elsa could collect herself enough to respond, Anastasia was gone. The door thudded behind her, and tears began to fill Elsa's vision. I wasn't being a bitch this time. I know you're not Anna, I'm not letting my issues cloud my judgment here. Anya, please... I'm just worried about you.

Oaken brought her some hot chocolate. I am way too fucking predictable. "Thank you," she managed between sobs. He only placed a hand gently on her shoulder by way of reply. I do really love this place.

After a little more paperwork and a surprisingly lucrative settlement, Elsa headed towards the Brooklyn Detention Complex. The one day I decided to wear my hair in a bun. After an excessive search and a long walk, Elsa found herself in a room with the younger Kuzco. She'd left her hair down after the search, it wasn't worth the effort.

"Ms. Agnarrsen," he breathed, his relief palpable.

"All right, Miguel, just tell me everything from the top. Maybe there's something I can use."

"Wait, what do you mean 'maybe?' You're the best lawyer ever! Why wouldn't you be able to get me out of this? He was going to kill me! It was self defense." Tears threatened to spill forth.

I've had more than enough tears today. "Mr. Kuzco, you're going to have to suck it up. I know it's scary, but this is what happens when you choose to live the kind of life you do. So I'm going to need you to calm down and explain everything that happened leading up to the death."

He chewed on his lip, clearly trying to force the tears to keep from falling. At least he doesn't look like a murderer. "Well my buddy, Pacha, you remember him, he came to me last week and said 'Hey, Kuzco, I have the ultimate score.' Like retirement kinda score, you get it? I mean I know I didn't need it, but his family hasn't been doing so great since I totaled his car and the police stole all of his cocaine, so I figure I owe him, you know?" This man's life is a fucking dark comedy, and not a good one. "The guy was an old jewel thief, or maybe it was an art thief, drug runner, something like that, I wasn't really listening, but the point was that he wasn't going to call the cops or anything." And he'd be likely to be armed! "So we got together the gang – a couple of my old friends from my country club days, they were tough shit. They had guns and all the cool gear, they wanted us to look legit." There goes the defense that he didn't know his friends were armed, one of the only possible defenses that would work, save of course for the fact that he was the one that actually killed him! "Well Luis and Brian, they hooked us up, but they wanted in on the job. At first, Pacha and me, we were like 'No, we'll pay for the gear and do it ourselves,' but they wouldn't let it go unless they got to try it out, apparently they'd never gotten to. So it's Me, Pacha, Brian, and Luis, in our awesome black sneaking suits, with the night vision goggles, a grappling hook, everything a thief could need! It was so cool. Pacha and I didn't have guns though, cause we're not about that life, LSD has taught me a oneness with everything, and Pacha has just always been a really laid back guy."

"So you weren't armed?"

"No, I just said that, aren't you listening, Elsa – sorry, Ms. Agnarrsen? Anyway, we were gonna break in through the sky light, but it turned out that none of us were strong enough to scale a building, even with a grappling hook, so instead we broke a window and went in through there. When we got in, we found our way to the basement, and Luis and Brian started in with their blow torches. Pacha and I were just supposed to be lookout, but after about ten minutes we got kinda bored, so we decided to share a joint. Pacha had rolled a few before we left for the celebration afterwards. So we had to lift up our masks, since they didn't have mouth holes, and then just when we were starting to get a little bit baked, that scary guy walked in."

"Mr. Coachman?"

"Yeah, him!" He looks way too thrilled with himself for just recognizing his name. Is he still high? How did he get drugs in jail – okay, that's a stupid question. "So Brian starts freaking out, going 'Holy shit, he saw your faces, he saw your faces!', and he's reaching for his gun, but he's having trouble getting it out. I don't know if it was stuck in its holster or what, but he just kept pulling it and nothing was happening, but while he's doing that, Mr. Coachman - that's his name right? - Well, he pulls a gun out of nowhere. It was amazing, there was nothing in his hand and then boom – well not boom literally, he didn't fire, but it was just there. He didn't have any trouble with it, maybe he oiled his holster or something. So he's about to shoot Brian, and Brian still can't manage to get his gun out, and Luis and Pacha are just there staring at this whole thing."

Elsa valiantly avoided holding her face in her hand and weeping or laughing at the entire thing. She had the worst client ever. "And then you killed him?"

"Yeah! I grabbed the nearest thing, it was Pacha's lucky bong – may it rest in peace – from his bag, and I just swung it at the guy. It broke and he just went down, and there was blood everywhere, and I was just freaking out like 'Oh my god, oh my god, I just killed a guy!' and Brian is like 'You saved my life!' and Pacha is like "That was my lucky bong!' and Luis is like 'Look out behind you!' and then the security swarmed in and told us to lay on the ground, and then they called the cops. And now I've been in jail for five whole days, and I had just got out! You can't let me stay here, Elsa. You can get bail right? You're the best!" The tears finally fell. Of course it's not the murder that bothers him, it's that he might have to go to prison. Even I have more of a conscience than this asshole.

"Miguel, you need to give me something I can use. Were you at least coerced into going along? This is straight up felony murder, you could be facing life, and you don't have so much as a shred of evidence to bring to your defense. If you go into the courtroom and tell the jury that story, you're going to prison."

"No, daddy promised you could get me out!" He was bawling now and slamming his fists on the table. A guard checked on them, but Elsa waved her away. "Elsa – Ms. Agnarrsen, you have to get me out. I didn't mean to kill him, you know that! I'm not a violent person."

"Well we can't put you on the stand, and I'm not sure what else we can do. You were arrested at the scene, with the murder weapon still in your hands, and all of your friends have told the same story – not that that'll stop them from having the same sentence – I really don't know what I can do here. I thought you'd have something." She leaned back in her seat, only letting the exasperation show a little, as she tried to think of any way out of this for him.

He took in great heaving sobs. He was almost hyperventilating, he couldn't manage to force another word out.

"Miguel." She reached a hand for him.

"Please." His voice cracked halfway through the word, but his eyes met hers. He's an awful kid, but I can't say I want to see him spend the rest of his life in prison. "Can't I just lie?" Though he clearly does.

"I can't put you on the stand to lie, Kuzco."

"Please." He pawed at his eyes, wiping away tears. "Please, there has to be something you can do! You've saved my ass so many times, please just one more, I promise, I'll never break the law again. I won't even jaywalk!"

Elsa blew out a breath. He was such a pitiful sight. "I'll see if maybe we can get you a plea deal, but I'll be honest here, I don't see any way I could get you out of this without at least serving ten years."

"What if I turned on someone?" His eyes darted from wall to wall. Elsa wasn't sure if he was scared someone would overhear or if he was just looking anywhere for an idea.

"Who would you turn on?"

"Pacha! It was all his idea!"

"They already have him, that wouldn't help you at all."

"I don't know, a cellmate! Maybe I'll overhear something." His blubbering was starting to make him harder to understand again, Elsa could barely make out the last word.

"Did you overhear something?"

"Well, no, not yet." He stopped sobbing and sat still, his eyes regaining their focus as they settled on her. "What about my dad? He's up to all kinds of shady stuff, I'll tell them everything!"

"He's my client. I can't be your lawyer if you're doing that, it's a conflict of interest."

"Please, what else can I do? I have to!"

Elsa leaned back in her chair, staring up at the ceiling. This is such a terrible idea. "Do you have any specifics."

"Well, no."

"Has he told you anything?"

"No, but he always has so much money, he must be stealing it from the company or something, right? That's a serious crime!"

She groaned. This is so fucking ridiculous. He is the worst defendant in the history of trial law.

"I doubt they'd want to let you go for white collar crimes, and that's nowhere near enough to go on. Just keep your mouth shut, and I'll see if I can manage to get a plea or find any legal loophole I can exploit."

"Promise me you'll get me out."

"Miguel –"

"Please, Elsa. Please, promise me. If you say it, I know you'll do it. You can do anything. I've seen you work miracles."

She was surprised to feel a tear leak down her own cheek. He deserves this. I should not feel so bad for him. "I'll try. That's all I can offer."

He nodded, but fell back into desperate sobs. He knows he's going to prison, and there's nothing I can do.