HEY EVERYBLOODY-sorry I’m a day late, went to a punk show and got home around 2 AM-EITHER WEITHER-let’s get to the show!

WE START OUT WITH-

A niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice and snowy landscape, *SIGH* so peaceful-BUT SUDDENLY-

0:28 First rule of Rwby, any scene that starts with a train is gon’ have SHIT GOIN’ DOWN YO!

0:32 See that? Giant fluffy Manticore Grimm-BUT THAT FUCKER GETS SLASHED-

0:38 I love the smell of Grimm dust *SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFF* smells like victory-BUT THEN-

0:45 A WILD WEISS APPEARS-all smilin’ and KICKIN’ ASS!

0:57 AND FINALLY-

BUMBLEBEE-fighting together with absolutely no awkward tension between the two of them at a-PFFT-HAHAHAHAHA-oh I couldn’t say that with a straight face, but seriously they’re in a better place than last season. ALSO-

1:05 TEAM JNR-fashionably late as always, the sassy bitches.

Nora: WHY IS IT ALWAYS SOMETHING?!

Jaune: BECAUSE WE TRAVEL WITH MILO MURPHY’S ALCOHOLIC COUSIN!

And everybody just starst BLASTING THE SHIT OUT OF GRIMM-Ren sniping with knife guns, Jaune blocking with his shield, and Nora just doing her thing-ALSO-

1:17 FIRST RENORA MOMENT OF THE SEASON-at least ONE section of the shippers will be sated…although I DO find it weird how the two haven’t kissed on screen yet, I mean like why not? They are UNDOUBTEDLY a couple now, what they tryna hide? Its kinda like how in a lot of Shonen manga when NO official couple kisses on screen, just odd to me.

Everything’s going fine…well fine for battle standards-UNTIL-

1:24 Jaune: TUNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!

Damn Miles has some pipes.

Everybah starts RUNNIN’ to the tunnel-BUT-

1:29

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWeiss gets suckerblasted by one of the manticore Grimm-IS THIS HER END?!

NOPE-almost girlfriend to the rescue! AND THEN-

1:33 WHITEROSE COMBO MOVE-awesome.

WOO-that was one god damn minute and a half, like seriously! After that triumphant scene I’m sure we won’t transition to something absolutely horrifyi-

2:23 Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus Adam, you do NOT take getting dumped lightly do you? Ah well, at least he has that expensive chai-

2:32 *SLASH*

DAMMIT ADAM-what’d that chair ever do to you? Could’ve at least sold it at a Pawn shop, got a couple hundred Lien I’m betting, absolutely wasteful, SHAME Adam-SHAME!

ATHENCUTTO-

2:44 THE TRAIN STATION FROM AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER-but in the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuture! Nah it ain’t, but it TOTALLY looks like that right?

Qrow than gives a shameless recap-I MEAN-reads his own letter that he’s sending to General Ironwood(he probably wrote it drunk so I’m betting he was checking for spalling erors…don’t you JODGE me) which he ends with-

3:43 “See you soon, bro”.

‘Daaaaaaaaw!



BUT THEN-a wild Ruby appears, utterly excited that her train’s coming up so she could get out of that god damned train station! I understand her antsyness, the wait can be a NIGHTMARE!

3:50

Well that hall way has enough space, I’m sure Ruby can just saunter on over to the gift shop-

…or use her semblance and dash on over there like a crazy person. One of these days your gonna HIT someone young lady-GAH!

Team…RWBY…OJNR…Ruby O’Junior, yeah let’s go with that, then has a short moment of shooting the shit.

Heh, look at these two, fussing over gifts-PROTECT THESE SWEET BABY CHILDREN AT ALL COSTS!

ALSO-a random Nora Beach fantasy!

…that apparently leaked its way into reality. Oscar H. Pines, Nora is so thirsty to see Ren in a swimsuit she alters time and SPACE!

BUT-just when you thought everybody is completely happy about this-

4:31 WEISS-casually reminds everyone how hard it was for her to escape her abusive father, and how this is hard for her-CONTINUITY!

After Ruby than gives the obligatory pep-talk-WE ARE INTRODUCED TO-

-Dee and Dudley, two corrupt pro-huntsman who try to shake down Ruby O’Junior, one of whom is JUST 2 weeks from retirement.

They also condescendingly tell them they’ll give them extra protection if they pay them…did…did these idiots NOT watch the news?! THEY’RE PRACTICALLY A SUPERHERO TEAM!

AND NOW-the greatest Rwby Reaction pose of ALL time-

5:05

THIS right here, THIS is art.

Qrow than shows up and GIVES THEM THE BUSINESS! No-one tries to shake down HIS kids!

5:17

Look at Dee’s dumbfounded ass face after talking back, this is Qrow fucking BRANWEN mother fucker! Now go lock that gate that Adam sneaked into!

5:48 Oscar: I’m sure glad its our job saving the world and not theirs.

Jaune: Yeah, now if ONLY one of us didn’t hide a billion secrets from all of us because reasons.

Ozpin: Okay let me at him.

Oscar: YOU SIT IN YOUR SHAME OLD MAN!

After that, everyone in Team Ruby O’Hara is READY to go, except for Blake which Weiss points out…in the best way possible-

5:55 Weiss: Just waiting for Blake, as usual.

HAHA-she abandoned her team for months on end.

A THEN CUT TO-

6:02 Blake saying good-bye to her almost-ex-girlfriend Ilia, and its just SWEET.

6:24 WHOA-that’s a little forward Ili-

6:25 Ooooooooooh that was DIRTY Rooster Teeth, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID! DAH-but its still a cute good bye-ALSO-

6:55 BEST BOY SUN WUKONG-here to say good bye as well!

OH-and Neptune’s here too. Hi Neptune, still living under that idiotic lady killer facade?

Neptune: OH…I didn’t know Ilia was gonna be here.

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyup.

7:22 Blake: Wrong tree.

Sun: Yeah teaching him gaydar is one of many many MANY reasons I gotta rejoin my team.

The two than have a nice heart to heart about where they’re going in life, Sun needs to go back to Vacuo to be with his team he LITERALLY abandoned, Blake needs to save the world from a Maleficent cosplayer, they’re just passing ships in the night and it comes to a head…when Sun says this-

7:55 Sun:I GO WHERE I’M NEEDED…and…you don’t need me anymore!

Blake:…well when you say it like that it sound sad.

Aw man, sad Blake ears.

Sun(paraphrased): Despite everything I had a lot of fun but-

-you’re with who you’re supposed to be with now.

Bumblebee shippers will interpret THAT how they want to and I. Do. Not. Blame. THEM!

Sun and Blake than finish off their good bye saying they’ll probably see it again(and by probably we know definitely because COME ON Michael Jones is one of the heavy hitters in Rooster Teeth). The good bye then ends-

-with a cute Blacksun peck on the cheek. Feel conflicted about which ship for Blake is better yet? If not, you haven’t been watching this show so…what the hell are you reading this blog for? SHORT CUT TO-

8:49

Neptune: I dunno man, it feels like your just letting her go.

Says the guy who can’t stick to one crush for more than five seconds. Notice how he didn’t say hi to Weiss? Because she’s logically MAD you blue haired Lothario!

AFTER THAT-there’s THIS little scene:

Sun: Now that your leader’s back and hardened from battle, I’ve gotta focus all of my time on getting you boys ready for the wastelands.

9:01

Neptune: *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*.

Anyone else think Neptune’s sigh might mean something more than just annoyance? I know Sun said his team was okay with the small hiatus, but what if they weren’t? Also maybe he was insulted by Sun implying that his team was just standing around without him, that while Sun was going on his adventure time standed still with them. Sun’s a good kid, and was mature enough to let Blake go once she got her real team back, but even to his own admittance he’s not the best leader. Just saying, food for thought.

A THEN CUT TO-

9:05 A nice snowy train where nothing bad is gonna happen. And INSIDE THE TRAIN-

-a totally not-suspicious looking Maz Napata from Star Wars meets old lady Katara from Legend of Korra who will TOTALLY not interact with the main cast…totally. BUT-enough about that-BEHOLD-

9:22 ALL of team Rwby sleeping in a bunkbed room like the good old days-HUZZAH! But all is not well AS THERE IS ALSO-

SUPER AWKWARD TENSION BETWEEN YANG AND BLAKE! But nah, Yang tells Blake that while things are weird and it’ll take a while before things get back to normal, she glad she and her posse are back together which PROMPTS-

THIS cuteness, which Whiterose shippers will interpret how they will.

Either way its TIME TO PLAY VIDEO GAM-

*CRASH*

10:31

DAMN that was a tough crash, it made Qrow lose his usually iron grip on booze! A THEN CUT TO-

…the…beginning of the episode…yeah I don’t know why they wrote the story like this either, I guess to start the season with a bang in showing how team RWBY is back in sync but I dunno.

But hey don’t worry, DEE AND DUDLEY are on the case, and I’m sure it TOTALLY doesn’t matter that Dee is two weeks from retirement!

*GASP* I am truly shocked. You shall always be remembered Dee, as a creepy weirdo who tried shake down a bunch of highschoolers for money.

THEN fighting fighting fighting, AND THEN-Dundey remembers he’s a security officer in charge of a high tech train!

12:06

I show four pictures here to point out that that WHOLE sequence took less than a MINUTE! Its like WE GET IT Rooster Teeth, you have an animation budget now!

It also activated the turrets which take out ALL four of these Grimm, which I’m SURE the boss Grimm won’t notic-

12:46 Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhit it noticed. It tells the lesser Grimm to attack the turrets and…oh god I found this by accident but it must be shared-

It landed-ASS FIRST! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And as to be expected knocking out the turrets didn’t JUST take out their defenses-

But ALSO-put the passengers in danger. Its like, use the turrets some Grimm die but they’ll attack the train more, DON’T use the turrets and they’ll attack anyway with less dead grimm, its a total catch 22!

Obviously bad-ass Qrow Branwen realizes and gets his TOP GUY TO STOP DUNDY-

…Oscar…desperate times I suppose.

Dundey like an idiot DOESN’T listen to the logical decision to turn off the glowing red fuck me spots for the Grimm to hit, and even MORE idiotically-

*CRACK* NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!



…decides to hang from the SIDE of a train going into a tunnel….instead of finding a way to duck…how many good Huntsmen/Huntresses did Salem’s unnamed faction kill, because I can’t help thinking he and his late partner were scraped from the bottom of the barrel.

BACK in the train, everyone’s as completely calm as they possibly could be.

14:19 Qrow: I SAID, turn those damn things OFF! *SLAM*

Seriously, in this situation Qrow is SUPER calm, I’d wanna kick his ass too.

Ruby then ACTUALLY calmly asks the guy to turn off the turrets(she’s got resolve of STEEL that one) AND THEY COME UP WITH A PLAN-to use a combo of Jaune’s Aura-booster powers and Ren’s emotion mask powers to mask the train. A plan that I’m sure will go off without ONE hit-

15:32 Oscar: I’m afraid there’s one complication.

Son of a god damned bitch Oz, I SWEAR TO GOD!

“The Grimm are also attracted…to this.”



Logically team Rugby O’Shaunnesy is as pissed at Oz as the fans for putting everyone in danger without telling them because he’s a mysterious wizard.

BUT-they gotta stay on task and kick Oscar in the nuts later, THEY MUST SAVE THE PYORPLES!

Sadly, they realize that they have to seperate the car with the passengers masked by Ren and Jaune, from the one with Team RWBY Qrow and a dumb old man in a child’s body. The two teams have to say good bye.

Jaune: Only if you’ll promise you’ll meet us there.

Ruby: Promise.

Weiss: Just know it’ll probably take a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time for us to get there.

Qrow: I estimate about 12 to 14 epis-I MEAN days.

Team Bad-name-pun then SPRINGS INTO ACTION-getting all the passengers in the front car-

16:29

-including this one bespectacled passenger who will in no way affect the plot in any way no and forever QUIT ASKING ABOUT IT!

Blake then cuts the cable cars-BUT SEES-

GAH-stalker much? I can’t believe Adam followed them-OR DID HE-

Is it actually Adam, or PTSD induced hallucination, FIND OUT NEXT EPISODE!

And what’s cool about the next sequence is that it needed NO explanation, you get it obviously from what you see.

Rubes gets JUST enough of a signal from Nora-

-so the MOMENT the Grimm land-

17:02

“NOW!”

-they start the maneuver.

No real comment on here other than how I LOVE how the black and white color palette over-takes the colored train car.

And then BACK TO FIGHTING!

And dear GOD there are so many great Grimm-kills here, so many I’d be here ALL day cutting and pasting every single one so I’ll just put the boss take down-STEP ONE-

Yang slides herself to the back-

-Blake THROWS it to Yang-

-AND YANG JUST PUNCHES THAT SHIT BACK-

-tying that greasy Grimm in PLACE-WHICH WEISS CONTINUES-

-with a classic “Freeze that fucker’s wings off attack”(with assistance from Ruby and Qrow of course for shattering said wings)-and then Uncle and Niece-

-get they scythes in gear-

-AND THEY SLASH THAT BITCH IN TWO! AND.THIS.IS.JUST.THE.FIRST.EPISODE!

BUT-the beast lets out ONE last fireball knocking them off track and….EVERYONE IS OKAY-incluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuding-

-THIS LADY-whose name I’ve read is Maria Callavera! Turns out she WASN’T just a random side character, I couldn’t tell with how HEAVILY lampshaded it was!

AND THAT’S VOLUME 6 EP 1-a fantastic start to the season with AMAZING action and animation, and great story-progression. Minor criticism, I still feel they didn’t need to do a “Something hours earlier” thing with the train battle, they could’ve easily done the story in sequential order and it would have worked just as well if not better. BUT-I still loved it and I hope you did to. If you liked what you read, consider donating to my Paypal on my blog page, I’d appreciate it. SEE YA NEXT WEEK ON MICKSTERECAPS!