The Danny Balis (maybe-your-favorite-radio-talking-guy from 1310 The Ticket, King Bucks tambourinist, new-bar-haver) and his partner The Jess Barr (Slobberbone guitarer, new-bar-haver) have recently opened Twilite Lounge, a bar in Deep Ellum. You've probably already heard of it because you're tapped into The Bar Scene like that. Maybe you've even done beer-gut-bellybutton body shots on their bar with drunk strangers already. If so, high fives and butt bumps to you, sir.

In an effort to learn more about Twilite Lounge and its origins, I asked Balis the hard-hitting, never-before-answered journalisty questions we've all been asking ourselves about this new spot. Here are those questions, plus his heartfelt answers:

Why did you name your bar after the Twilight Saga? We wanted to go with more of a Game of Thrones motif, but were not prepared to kill off our most popular bartender three days into our soft opening.

Did you know there's a typo in your bar's name? It's "Twilight" not "Twilite." Probably should've emailed you about this before you had stuff printed. I know. I'm a horrible proofreader. It's so bad that all my business cards say "Danny Queefbuster." My last name is Balis.

Since you're opening in the old Insomnia Coffee Bar spot, do you promise to bring back the Insomnia Coffee Bar Girl Scout Cookie Shakes? If so, thanks. If not, why do you hate happiness and everything that's good in the world? Happiness is overrated. Although we do have a special drink designed just for you, Alice. It's got vodka, antifreeze and a gentle laxative. We like to call it "Wet Death."

When will Kelly Clarkson be performing? Funny you ask. We actually had Kelly scheduled for our first live show, but for the same talent fee, we were able to book Will Johnson (Centro-matic) AND Brent Best (Slobberbone), who will perform June 29 for free at 9 p.m.

What's the best thing about Deep Ellum? (Don't say the ample parking, everyone says that.) Probably the smell. No, wait. That would come in last place. Other than the fact that Deep Ellum is once again vibrant, the diversity of business is key. Gabe at Black Swan will mix you something delicious, the boys at Anvil Pub are sweethearts and make a hell of a pizza, Three Links, Dada and Trees are crushing it at booking great bands, and Adair's is an institution. It's exciting to be in the middle of the rebirth of an historic area.

Does Twilite Lounge offer bar food? (Whiskey counts as bar food, FYI.) Pretzels and mixed nuts are available upon request, served in little wooden Steak n' Ale salad bowls. Plus, we have a beautiful New Orleans-styled courtyard, so it's possible some of the plants are edible.

OK, gimme the important, press-releasy stuff so people can't complain that this interview was completely devoid of any actual information. Bottom line, we're a beer and a shot type of joint, but a dive bar you could take a date to. Think old Hollywood inside, with a Frenchmen Street courtyard out back. Our jukebox is already the best in town. Open everyday at 4 p.m. Daily happy hour specials and all-night specials throughout the week. Myself and co-owner Jess Barr will be there most nights, and our experienced bartenders will make you some tasty shit. Grand opening will be Friday, June 21, featuring live jazz from Shelley Carrol Quartet. @twilitelounge for updates and specials on the Twitters.