It's Turkish Star Wars, and It's Endearingly Bad

In case you missed it, it's Star Wars season. Every copy of the original trilogy in the city is sold out, practically every 3-D IMAX showing of Episode VII is accounted for, every cereal box and piece of merchandise now unabashedly adorns a BB-8 on its packaging. However, not all is accounted for. A largely unseen piece of cinema mastery exists that defies the vast world of Star Wars culture. If you are running out of media from a galaxy far, far away, I challenge you to consider seeing Turkish Star Wars, a film made in 1982.

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For what it's worth, the movie title literally translates to The Man Who Saved the World. The term “Turkish Star Wars” is applied as a way to communicate just what is going to happen on screen before you put yourself through it. Not to suggest that you'll suffer, here; as a matter of fact, you'll have a hell of a time.

But first, you should know what it is, exactly, that you are watching.

It is the future, and an atomic war has rid the planet Earth of its humans. They are spread across the galaxy, and one evil alien is evil enough to want to absorb their brains for his evil purposes of absorbing an ultimate power. Ali and Murat, two NOT Han Solo superheroes, crash-land with the intention of stopping the alien, and they find Egyptian hieroglyphics along the way. It turns out they've run into one piece of the fragmented planet Earth--a mentor-esque NOT Obi-Wan Kenobi even says that Islam was practiced here and discusses how religion was lost in the tumultuous world. So basically the plot from A New Hope, right? Anyway, I digress, and leave the rest to you to discover.

If one were so inclined to want a bad, campy movie that may or may not be inflicting all kinds of copyright infringement on one of America's most successful and beloved franchises (a few franchises, actually; there is abundant use of the Indiana Jones theme as well as certain music from Scarface during an awe-inspiring training montage), ta-da, here is your next movie experience.

Amid all the infringement, I have to expose one very touching moment between our heroes: “Do you know why the atomic war that rendered our world extinct started?” Murat ponders to Ali. “It is because humans took themselves too seriously. If only they learned to laugh, they would have chosen peace over war.” I implore you watch Turkish Star Wars, and do so with a light heart. For the sake of world peace.