CARSON, Calif. — Final score from La La Land: Chris Harris Jr. 23, Philip Rivers 22.

Well, at least that’s the way it felt when the Broncos beat the Chargers. This was personal. In a tough NFL season for Denver, nothing feels quite as good as shutting up Philip.

In his long-running role as the Chargers’ yappy quarterback, Rivers is the football villain Denver loves to hate most. On this November afternoon, Rivers inexplicably decided to pick a fight with Harris, the Broncos’ shutdown corner.

“I’m throwing at you all day!” Rivers warned Harris on the field.

Throw at Harris? On purpose? A crash-test dummy is smarter than that.

“That’s all right,” Harris responded. “I’ll make you pay.”

Harris was shocked Rivers seemed to be on a mission to embarrass him. “He just came out screaming at me. I’ve never had a quarterback just really pointing me out in front of everybody,” Harris said. “Everybody on the D-line and all the linebackers looked at me like, ‘Is he really hollering at you like that?”

But, in the end, Harris served Rivers crow for Sunday dinner. How did the Chargers find a way to blow a 12-point lead in the second half and lose as time expired in the fourth quarter?

“We shouldn’t have been in that situation,” Rivers insisted. “It should’ve been about 33-7 at that point.”

C’mon, Philip. Whine a little bit more for us, would you? It’s kinda cute.

“He whines a lot on the field,” Harris said last week, as Denver prepared to play Rivers for the 26th time in his Hall of Fame career. “I would say guys just get tired of him whining.” Related Articles 🔊 Broncos podcast: Previewing Denver’s must-win Week 3 home showdown against Tampa Bay

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Rivers must get this internet thingy, because the Chargers duly noted the shots fired from Denver. At least Harris is quite certain of it, because Rivers barked at him nonstop, like an off-the-chain Chihuahua.

“It was crazy, man,” Harris said. “Philip came out like the first play … and he started screaming at me. He was talking so much (trash) at me. I was like, ‘OK, you want to wake up the dog, today? You woke up a sleeping giant. Now I’ve got to get you!’ ”

In a season when the Broncos have invented ways to lose, it was Rivers who made the knucklehead mistakes that Los Angeles will regret.

It was stunning enough to watch a quarterback with 15 seasons of pro experience gift-wrapped interceptions to both Harris and Von Miller.

Harris made a point of letting the entire Chargers bench know how good it felt to force a turnover on Rivers. Miller’s 42-yard interception return in the third quarter is what turned the momentum in Denver’s favor.

But with the Chargers still in position to seal a two-point victory in the final two minutes, Rivers committed a bonehead move of carelessly dumping an incomplete pass in the dirt on third down, when curling up in the fetal position to take a sack would’ve run at least another 30 seconds off the clock.

Considering the Broncos’ seven-play, 76-yard drive to win the game was conducted without any timeouts and ended with a field goal by Brandon McManus as time expired, this victory couldn’t have been possible without the brain freeze by Philip the Whiner.

“We botched the game at the end, when we had a chance to finish it,” Rivers said.

If Rivers were the quarterback in Denver, we wouldn’t be doing the math of how many more times the Broncos, whose record improved to 4-6, have to win in order to save coach Vance Joseph’s job.

Full disclosure: I have a mancrush on Rivers. And so does Miller, who thinks it’s hilarious that all the quarterback’s smack talk is rated G, scrubbed clean of any curse words. It’s like the late, great Mr. Rogers walking into your neighborhood, looking to start trouble. According to Miller, this is as trashy as Rivers’ on-field conversation gets: “I got the first down, sucker!”

After improving its record to 4-6, the laughter was back in the Denver locker room. “One for the good guys!” exclaimed nose tackle Domata Peko. “About (bleeping) time!”

And for those of you keeping score at home, the Broncos’ career record against Rivers is now 14-12.

I asked Rivers why he thought it was a good idea to attack Harris. “I think while having respect for him, there’s a difference in respect and fear,” he replied.

Much to our dismay, we recently learned Kansas City quarterback Patrick Mahomes puts ketchup on steak, as well as macaroni and cheese.

That’s gross.

But perhaps Harris should ship a case of Dijon mustard to Rivers.

After this loss to the Broncos, Mr. Motormouth has got a heaping helping of his own words to woof down.