Welcome to Oops I shit myself! If you've just shit your pants, for god's sake, clean yourself up!

But after you get back, tell us all about it to the right...

Submitted by larry Bruce (brighton massechesetts, MO) on 02.08.20

I really dig sushi. trouble is I cant fucking use chopsticks. whenevert I take my bird out (shes really common, you know ther type; smells a bit funny, dodgy teeth and some kind 0of strange hairdo done at S and Ps (Brighton), spends all my money - right sl (Full Story) I really dig sushi. trouble is I cant fucking use chopsticks. whenevert I take my bird out (shes really common, you know ther type; smells a bit funny, dodgy teeth and some kind 0of strange hairdo done at S and Ps (Brighton), spends all my money - right slag really, but im known for my charity work; actually, she fucking stinks, but (tbc)

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Submitted by Swagrat ($crewston, TX) on 01.16.20

I shit myself while getting turbo gawk gawk double-fisted hand twist 9000 from my gurl. It was an obviously intended 'Blumpkin' but (plot twist) I forgot to take my pants off before sitting down on da porta-john. All in all, poopy everywhere, ruined my new (Full Story) I shit myself while getting turbo gawk gawk double-fisted hand twist 9000 from my gurl. It was an obviously intended 'Blumpkin' but (plot twist) I forgot to take my pants off before sitting down on da porta-john. All in all, poopy everywhere, ruined my new Calvin Klein undie-supremes, and I'm upset af. 1/10, would not 'Blumpkin' again.

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Submitted by Shartatron (Maui, HI) on 07.24.17

So we were running sprints in the beginning of practice. We were on the last one and I was starting to feel all weird. So I thought I had it in me that I could do this last sprint and manage to go somewhere else before something happened. Turns out while I (Full Story) So we were running sprints in the beginning of practice. We were on the last one and I was starting to feel all weird. So I thought I had it in me that I could do this last sprint and manage to go somewhere else before something happened. Turns out while I was sprinting the last one my whole body gave out and a shit myself the whole run. I ran all the way past everyone else and I called one of the coach's and told em that I'd "emptied the tank too hard" and he didn't understand and just asked if I needed to go somewhere and I said yeah. I didn't have a ride so I had to walk all the way home covered in shit. One of my friends actually drove past me and saw me as I walked all the way home.

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Submitted by Potty smoker (Some City, Some State) on 07.23.17

I was having a cigarette out of my window, as my parents dont let me smoke. I farted and felt myself need to shit. It started getting worse and feeling warmer. As i put my smoke out i started shitting myself and when i got to the bathroom, my panties were (Full Story) I was having a cigarette out of my window, as my parents dont let me smoke. I farted and felt myself need to shit. It started getting worse and feeling warmer. As i put my smoke out i started shitting myself and when i got to the bathroom, my panties were soiled. Fml

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Submitted by Shameful (Some City, MO) on 06.25.17

I'm standing outside with my bestie smoking a cigarette and I feel the urge to fart. So naturally I let it go but in that same moment comes instant regret!! It made a pop sound and a look of horror crossed my face. My friend was worried and thought that my (Full Story) I'm standing outside with my bestie smoking a cigarette and I feel the urge to fart. So naturally I let it go but in that same moment comes instant regret!! It made a pop sound and a look of horror crossed my face. My friend was worried and thought that my back or hip popped. I couldn't even say anything I just stood there looking mortified. Until I tell her "biiitch I just shit myself!!!" She is like "Whaaaat!?!!" I was wearing shorts and no underwear, it was dripping down the back of my leg! I reached back and was struck with horror when my fingers had shit on them!!! I showed her and she started laughing hysterically. I had to shimmy up the steps to the house. My 8 year old was on the couch and I told her as soon as I walked in she was like huh? I turned around and showed her, she picked up her phone and started recording me!!! Yup so I immediately took some Imodium and laid down after cleaning myself up. Ughhh kinda wanna die right now.

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Submitted by Whoopsie (Some City, Some State) on 03.31.17

This literally just happened. I went to a potluck and I was eating these wraps my friend made. It had lettuce, ground meat, tomato, and her "Taco Sauce" she said she made out of mayo and other spices. It was amazinggggg. But then an hour later, my stomach (Full Story) This literally just happened. I went to a potluck and I was eating these wraps my friend made. It had lettuce, ground meat, tomato, and her "Taco Sauce" she said she made out of mayo and other spices. It was amazinggggg. But then an hour later, my stomach gurgled and then I asked what was in the sauce. She said cream cheese and taco seasoning. I then reminded her I was lactose and she said, "Whoops." First thing you should know, I'm shit shy. Meaning I can't shit unless I'm completely alone or at my house. So being at a person's house I had just met, I'm not going to just let a nuke drop in their home. So I held it in. An hour goes by. Fine. Another hour goes by. I'm holding on.... Then we get to the friend's house (who made the taco sauce) because I had forgotten my purse. I told my boyfriend (of one year) to go get my purse because if I stood up, that was it. He comes back and I bolt it for the house. I manage to get the front door unlocked. Then I'm running up the stairs, but the force of my steps hitting the stairs and the intense pressure I felt was too much. I shit my pants right as I'm 2 steps away from the Washroom door. It wasn't that bad. I'd say the stain was a good hand size but it didn't manage to leak through. I made it to the toilet just has the full force began. I texted my boyfriend what happened and I quickly got into the shower. I cleaned up and my boyfriend gave me his work jacket to cover myself. I was completely mortified. Like I said, I'm shit shy. So he would always tell me it's okay to shit at his house but I refuse. So my first time shitting around my boyfriend was me shitting my pants. He keeps telling me it's fine but I'm so embarrassed and I really don't want any physical human interaction for at least a week.

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Submitted by PurpleGhost93 (Some City, Some State) on 03.13.17

This was in 2011. Me, my fiancé and my brother had booked a little holiday to Norway to see friends. The last time I flew was when I was 4 years old. At the time of the incident I would have been 18. so I was extremely nervous to fly, and considering I ha (Full Story) This was in 2011. Me, my fiancé and my brother had booked a little holiday to Norway to see friends. The last time I flew was when I was 4 years old. At the time of the incident I would have been 18. so I was extremely nervous to fly, and considering I have IBS and severe anxiety it made me a hell of a lot worse. My fatherinlaw picked us all up, to take us to the airport.



Everything was fine, until we hit a complete standstill on the M25.(M25 is a major highway toward London.) There is me panicking, because my stomach was starting to rumble and cramp, and the panicking mad it come on quicker. We are in the middle lane, 4-5 lanes, and stocked full of cars, we were surrounded. I noticed people getting out their cars to see what was going on, which ended up being a lorry full of molten tar tipped over and covered the road (easy fix for potholes I guess.) The feel for voiding my bowels was getting a lot stronger now. I looked around looking for a place to go. It was winter, no leaves on bushes. I saw a thornbush. That was the only option, it was so dense that I hoped would hide me. I grabbed my fiancé, opened the car door, dragged him onto one of the most busiest motorways in the uk, and ripped my way through the thornbush. I couldn't feel the thorns, my mind was so panicked, I had to go NOW! My fiancé was on his phone, complaining about worrying we'll miss our flight. I shouted "FUCK YOU!" And released.



Bright orange, steaming lava poured out of me for a good 10 minutes. I was just silently hoping that none of the hundreds of cars could see me. All there was to wipe was dead leaves.



I finished, and walked out the bush full of shame. Got our suitcases out the car, dragged them up the embankment, climbed over a fence (I fell on my face) and started walking. We were really close to the airport. All the cars on the motorway ended up having to do a u turn, and drive through a big gate that had separated the town and the motorway. His dad picked us up, that's when I started to hysterically cry and call my mummy. Got to the airport, changed my knickers and threw them away, got into some joggers and made it through security. We made the flight. FML.

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Submitted by Poopyrunner (NZ, Some State) on 02.16.17

Ok so I had this running event I had to train for where I was running 14km as part of a team relay, but I'd had food poisoning and hadn't done any training all week. I was finally feeling better, so I thought I'd go for a quick training run - just 5km so 2 (Full Story) Ok so I had this running event I had to train for where I was running 14km as part of a team relay, but I'd had food poisoning and hadn't done any training all week. I was finally feeling better, so I thought I'd go for a quick training run - just 5km so 2.5km out to this bridge and back. I made it out up the bridge alright, but then I felt this spicy thing in my butthole. I thought it'll be alright I pooped before the run - false alarm. A few seconds later I had to stop, and I knew I was about to shit myself. I was surrounded by path railing and couldn't get down the river bank to let it rip so I just had to let the explosion happen in my pants! And boy did she explode.



Post shit explosion I find a gap in the railing and whip down my pants and squat behind a tree to let out a much grander explosion which hopefully was great fertiliser. I check my shorts and they are FULL of runny poo so I fling them down the bank towards the river and run home as fast as I can in my undies and rain coat!



Thankfully it was raining so there wasn't many people out. I did get a couple of whistles on my way home, that must've been before they looked closer and saw poop seeping out of my undies though.



Woohoo what an awful but hilarious experience!!



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Submitted by Amazon driver accident (san antonio, TX) on 01.16.17

Today when I finished dropping off my last amazon package I felt the urge to pee really badly. Making it to the nearest gas station wasn't really an option so I found a secluded area and popped a squat. Unfortunately I've been having some gastrointestinal (Full Story) Today when I finished dropping off my last amazon package I felt the urge to pee really badly. Making it to the nearest gas station wasn't really an option so I found a secluded area and popped a squat. Unfortunately I've been having some gastrointestinal issues today and liquid fire dropped out of me too. I realized quickly enough what was happening and in an effort to not get it on my shoe I fell in it. At this point I know I'm screwed. Not wanting to ruin my underwear I grab the closest thing in my car. My white head wrap and place under my ass and attempt to make it home. All the while the shot keeps coming and leaking on my cloth seats. I have my nethers covered in a blanket I had left in the car and I'm trying to make it home. The smell of the diarrhea causes me to throw up in my car all down the front of my uniform. I'm crying on the phone to my boyfriend begging him to tell work I would return the work device tomorrow and I have an issue that made my uniform unacceptable for work. He refuses and so I have to call and explain to my boss that I vomited all over myself and of course get a million questions about being pregnant. When it's all said and done I waddle up to my apartment throw off my clothes wash them in the sink then throw them in the washer. Get lysol wipes to wipe my car down and plan to use a shampoo er on the seats tomorrow. My day sucked.

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Submitted by oops (new york, NY) on 01.10.17

I was having a great time in a school bus to a field trip when I felt an urge to fart. I silently let it out, but it was very sticky and wet. It was diarrhea! I stayed quiet till I got to the bathroom stop. I forgot to lock the door, and when another kid o (Full Story) I was having a great time in a school bus to a field trip when I felt an urge to fart. I silently let it out, but it was very sticky and wet. It was diarrhea! I stayed quiet till I got to the bathroom stop. I forgot to lock the door, and when another kid opened the door, all I could do was yell to get out. He took one long look down and went into a different stall. Everybody knows now.

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