Good news, Mac fans! Apple is committed to the Mac for the foreseeable future and you can look forward to a strong product pipeline. How does the Macalope know this? Because John C. Dvorak just wrote that Apple was going to do the opposite.

“Apple Is Ready to Ditch the Mac.” (Tip o’ the antlers to @_HairForceOne, @ElPocho and Stephen.)

Does anyone remember the last time Dvorak was right about Apple? Was it during the Eisenhower administration?

“I like Ike! Also, there will one day be a company called ‘Apple’.”

Apple is the master of radical pivots.

Radical, dude! Cowabunga!

“Radical Pivots” is the name of a terrible office chair supply company but a cool skate park.

What I’m sensing is…

…people seeing my byline and immediately closing the tab.

…that like the old Apple II (forever), the Mac will be phased out and the whole line will be replaced by iPads.

The software for which will be made by elves since humans won’t be able to make iOS software anymore without a Mac.

I’ve made this assertion before and received a good amount of hate mail…

What is it they say is the definition of insanity?

But my thinking is based on the latest Apple commercial for the iPad Pro…

I was watchin’ the teevee, ya see, an’ on comes this commercial…

It’s this one which Dvorak describes like William Shatner describing Captain Kirk climbing a mountain.

If you haven’t seen it, the young girl in the commercial uses an iPad in various contexts and the punchline is her saying “What’s a computer?” The kids these days have no respect.

What does this say about the Macintosh? … It’s the end of the line.

If you don’t think that Apple puts coded, Illuminati-style messages about its product roadmap in each and every commercial it makes, well, then please take these dangerous drugs, read the informational pamphlet and sit through Dr. Dvorak’s 48-hour indoctrination session and you will. You will also believe in talking squirrels.

I know that Mac users do not want to see this reality, but the Mac is not a money maker.

Other than it actually making money, sure. Yes, the iPhone makes Apple the most money, but Mac revenue was higher than iPad revenue last quarter. So, the Macalope’s not really seeing Dvorak’s financials-based argument penciling out here.

But, of course, Dvorak doesn’t write these things because he believes them. He writes these things to inflame Mac users.

When you go into the Apple Store, you see the phone and the watches front and center, then the iPads, then the Mac.

Case closed! As everyone knows, the thing that’s third in your store is always going to get discontinued, no matter how deep your store is.

Apple does have some Unix in the guts of macOS, but iOS seems scratch-built.

This man gets paid to write a technology column! Take that, people who think the tech business is a perfect meritocracy!

On top of that, the company is doing extensive custom chip engineering with its ARM licensing and the A9 chip.

Don’t eat chips and guac at Dvorak’s house. All the chips are two years old. You don’t even want to know how old the guac is.

Do not get me wrong. The Mac is not dead tomorrow.

That’s good because that would make the upcoming iMac Pro launch really awkward.

But I’ve seen this exact scenario before and it does not bode well.

His one example is from 33 years ago.

If Apple rolls out some odd and out-of-place extravaganza for the Mac, you can be sure the end is near.

So, Apple making new announcements about the Mac is also a sign that the Mac is going away. Wow, there really is no way for the Mac to win here.

It is not inconceivable that some day Apple would discontinue the Macintosh. Nothing lasts forever. But there are a number of problems it would have to solve first and as earlier this year it announced the iMac Pro and an upcoming revision to the Mac Pro, that particular move isn’t coming any time soon. Cute commercials notwithstanding.