Well, on the one hand it’s a little creepy, isn’t it? To know that so many people can relate to a show that’s really about the bloodiest worst-case scenario of modern dating. One thing we were all excited to do was get in the writers’ room and share our own stories. Accidentally dating potential actual serial killers aside, which is a fear I’ve always walked around with, we’ve all got horrible yet amusing stories, and we are all committed to grounding this story in some personal truth about how difficult this stuff can be to navigate. We put a lot of ourselves into the cringey details.

I’m a horror writer in my heart, in that I always like to ask myself what scares me and what scares us universally when I’m approaching a story. To me there’s just about nothing scarier than the truth that we can never really know another person. And nowhere is that writ larger than in romance. We’re auditioning people to be the primary person in our lives, basically, and hoping that we somehow see into their true selves before we’re in too deep. It seems more or less impossible, right?

And part of what makes Joe Goldberg so terrifying and resonant is that he sees himself as the good guy.

For me, the most irksome phenomenon I’ve been observing lately isn’t that old-fashioned central-casting misogynist who says sexist, blatant stuff. There’s also a more insidious type of mansplaining that comes from men who declare themselves progressive and allies, who are, effectively, wearing a “this is what a feminist looks like” T-shirt.

Maybe the intention is good — one could argue that Joe’s intentions are good — but we all have to be careful anytime we think we know better than the person we’re talking to, especially about what that person needs or how they should act or behave as a member of whatever group they’re a part of. It’s a red flag. That’s what we get to explore through Joe, who genuinely believes he’s a feminist and a good man. His actions come from a deep place of entitlement because he’s confident that he should be helping Beck, though he hasn’t asked her if she wants help. And he, in fact, believes he knows better than she does what she actually needs.

Right. He’s not killing for the thrill of killing. He thinks all his behavior is justifiable in the pursuit of love.