Former governor-general Dame Quentin Bryce says Australians have an obligation to take better care of their friends and neighbours by asking the question: "Are you OK?"

Key points: Dame Quentin is among those encouraging more openness in the way suicide is talked about

Dame Quentin is among those encouraging more openness in the way suicide is talked about She has found support among parents of victims, who fear their children are being forgotten

She has found support among parents of victims, who fear their children are being forgotten The call comes ahead of R U OK? Day on Thursday

With the country experiencing a worryingly high suicide rate, Dame Quentin — who is now an ambassador for The Mental Health Services Learning Network (TheMHS) — believes Australians need to get over the fear of being told to mind their own business.

"Sure you run the risk of a rebuke — of somebody being offended — but then you just say: 'Look, I'm sorry about that'," Dame Quentin said.

"We have to run that risk, because it's the obligation we have to each other as neighbours.

"I understand why we hesitate to intervene, we think 'oh, that's not my business, it's a private matter,' but we can't be bystanders.

"Asking the question is the essence of compassion."

Australia's suicide rate sits at 12.9 per 100,000.

According to visiting UK psychiatrist Dr Sepehr Hafizi, that is far from the highest figure in the world — that dubious distinction, he said, belongs to Lithuania.

But the rate in Australia is above the World Health Organisation's (WHO) global average.

Dr Sepehr Hafizi says there is a need for more research in Australia. ( ABC News: Simon Royal )

"The WHO has been monitoring suicide rates and overall there's been a marginal decline in the world, but if you look at Australia there has been a slight increase in recent years," Dr Hafizi said.

Australian Bureau of Statistics data shows males are more vulnerable, with 2.8 per cent of male deaths attributable to suicide compared to 1.0 per cent of female deaths.

"It's an interesting picture in Australia — there is a major male-female discrepancy here," Dr Hafizi said.

"That gender difference [in suicide rates] is something we see everywhere.

"In the UK it might be twice as many — but in Australia it's around three times … the reasons behind that are obviously something to explore."

R U OK? 'I think that's a great phrase'

Dame Quentin — who was recently in Adelaide for a conference on mental health — said the prevalence of suicide was "concerning Australians greatly".

"I think we are feeling deeply disturbed about the reports that we hear so often about suicide," she said.

That concern has had some very positive consequences, with mental health experts saying Australians are now more willing to discuss their feelings and to seek help when they are struggling.

The R U OK? campaign is among those to have raised awareness of depression, isolation and suicide across the community.

"It doesn't take a great deal of courage to ask [someone]: 'Are you OK?' I think that's a great phrase," Dame Quentin said.

R U OK? Day is this coming Thursday, and suicide prevention is getting more attention than ever before, with a variety of agencies — health, education, and research — working together on solutions.

Dame Quentin presents TheMHS Medal for Mental Health. ( Supplied )

Community groups also play an important role in postvention — providing support to families and friends after a suicide death — including one in Adelaide's inner western suburbs called Minimisation of Suicide's Harm (MOSH).

It is run entirely by volunteers, many of whom have experienced loss through suicide.

Jill Chapman set up MOSH 11 years ago, after her son, Michael, ended his life.

"MOSH is here because I saw a need originally to have a place for the bereaved to come, people who had lost someone to suicide," Ms Chapman said.

"They didn't need to make an appointment, no questions asked, and they would find whatever they needed when they got here.

"Fast forward 11 years and MOSH has now become a community house in a way — most often people just come here to have a cuppa and a chat … and so we are working now in the early intervention area of suicide prevention."

'There was no mention of him in the yearbook'

Sitting at the kitchen table, over a cup of tea, Ms Chapman recently shared her experience of loss with Peter Sparrow, whose son Bennett ended his life in 2009.

Both agree that Australia has come a long way in discussing suicide prevention in the decade or so since their children died.

Jill Chapman and Peter Sparrow with photos of their sons Michael Chapman and Bennett Sparrow. ( ABC News: Simon Royal )

But they also argue that sense of openness too often comes to an abrupt and awkward end in the aftermath of suicide.

"When Michael died, people would rather cross the street and go to the dentist than come up to me and say something as simple as 'I'm so sorry for your loss'," Ms Chapman said.

"I think other people would have been more comfortable if it had been something else … they would have reacted differently if he'd died from something else."

MOSH Australia is headquartered in Thebarton in Adelaide's west. ( ABC News: Simon Royal )

"People just don't know what to say, I guess they are afraid of what buttons they might push if they ask you about your child," Mr Sparrow said.

The effect of that silence and discomfort often leaves bereaved parents feeling isolated, and makes the memory of their child "disappear".

"There was no mention of Michael in his school yearbook, the year he died," Ms Chapman recalled.

"I understand why the school made that choice, but even so, it was so hurtful. Not only to me but to other family members, and to his mates at school.

"It was like he didn't exist. That was really hard to swallow. I would like to think that it would be very different now."

Are we using the right words?

Ms Chapman and Mr Sparrow are acutely aware of the need for care in the language used to discuss suicide, particularly around young people, where there is a risk of imitation — a phenomenon experts call "contagion".

Support services for people affected by suicide: MOSH Australia on (08) 8443 8369

MOSH Australia on (08) 8443 8369 Anglicare — Living Beyond Suicide on 1300 761 193

Anglicare — Living Beyond Suicide on 1300 761 193 StandBy on 0429 147 491

"We need to be really careful we don't make heroes out of people because that's quite dangerous," Ms Chapman said.

"That doesn't mean though that our children should become invisible."

One of the changes the parents have noticed recently is a push among some advocacy groups to use the terminology "died from suicide".

Mr Sparrow supports that.

"I think it means we are putting things on a level playing field, the same as if you'd lost a child through cancer, or an accident," he said.

"Loss is loss, and the cause behind it sometimes actually doesn't matter at all."

The suicide rate in Australia is higher than the global average, experts say. ( ABC News )

The grief experienced by parents who have lost a child to suicide will always come with its own particular complications — feelings of guilt, a sense of "what did I miss?", as well as the question Ms Chapman calls "the big one" — "Why?"

There is, though, one question Ms Chapman would like bereaved parents to hear more often: "Are you OK?"

"I don't want other people to be shunned as I was to some degree," she said.

"I'm talking about Michael because I want people to have courage. It's really OK if you put your foot in your mouth — we all say dumb things at one time or another.

"That's not the worst thing that can happen.

"Just say it — 'I'm sorry for your loss' — and leave it at that."