"I wanted to be able to look at myself in the mirror and recognize myself. Say, that's a person, I'm that person. Not some strange figure who I don't understand or like. Hormones gave me that. They smoothed the contours of my face, and while the difference is subtle, it's enough for me to be happy. It doesn't feel like I'm adding something to my body; it feels like my body started with a recipe that wasn't right for me and I'm just correcting that. I'm not transitioning from male to female, I am a nonbinary person transitioning into the body that's right for her. I know it's gonna take some adjustment, and I'll probably go too far and have to dial it back a bit. But we'll see what's to come. And once I get my pussy surgery, which entails yeeting out those testo-makers, I'll have to find the right balance all over again. But it will be worth it.

My dose was recently doubled, and I'm honestly curious about how I'll feel about that. I'm not a woman, I'm nonbinary and butch. So what's right for me [is] going to look different from, say, a transfeminine person who is a woman. A month or two ago I looked at my face and thought, This is it, this is my gender. Stop here please. And yet, my doctor noticed that my hormone levels were closer to 'typical cis male' than 'typical cis woman,' and so I'm just going along with her recommendation to see what happens. After I get my blood drawn in December I'll go back to something that's closer to my previous dose."