Yes, Alan, nigh on 400 deaths of mostly elderly Italians in one day is an “exaggeration” and no big deal. Just as it was when it reached nigh on 500 a few days later. This rant from him was not a one-off, but part of a consistent Jones theme he has sounded for days that the whole coronavirus thing is overblown. The inevitable result? Many of his elderly listeners will not take the precautions they need to and that will have the most devastating consequences imaginable. He has placed the very lives of his listeners, and other Australians, at risk. If that is not irresponsible broadcasting, I don’t know what is. If that is not enough to see him taken off air, I don’t know what is. Bringing good news Yonks back I took aside a television presenter mate of mine who will remain nameless – let’s just call him David Koch – to have a quiet word. "David, I said. I said look, I said pet, I said love, I said look . . ."

“David, enough already with the whole ‘Feel Good Friday’ thing you’re doing on Sunrise, this whole idea that every Friday you will only put up good news. That will never work, and it’s not journalism.” Well, he persisted anyway, and it worked out pretty well. Now, when it comes to coronavirus, as you will see from my opening remarks it is something to take very seriously indeed. But when I asked a medical mate of mine, Professor Gerard Sutton, to give me three glimmers of optimism in all the enveloping darkness he first carefully noted that while viruses are not his medical specialty, there are indeed at least three glimmers he can see. Sunrise presenter David Koch pressed ahead with delivering the good news. Credit:Nic Walker 1. Already we are testing a new coronavirus vaccine in record time. 2. In Oxford they have developed a testing regimen which more accurately and more quickly identifies the virus, and that will be crucial in lowering the curve across the globe.

3. We are now working on a-number of therapeutic agents that can ameliorate if not yet cure the disease. His broader remarks were: instead of thinking doom and gloom, we must seek inspiration from the Australian, Howard Florey, and the Scot, Alexander Fleming, who between them came up with penicillin which has since saved countless millions of lives. ‘‘I’ll back the Australian Barry Marshalls of the world that came up with the cure for gastric ulcer last decade,’’ he says. ‘‘For every idiot that hoards a roll of toilet paper there is a better man or woman that gives of themselves to mend and, yes, heal Australia and Australians.’’ Thank you. It is the best I can do for Good News Sunday. Punctuation for the pavement

Yes, carving your name in wet cement is a cross between vandalism and graffiti and to be decried. But if you look closely at the accompanying photo from Gouldsbury Street in Mosman, you can see that not only did Sunny place an apostrophe before ’ERE to indicate the dropped H from HERE, but he also curled it the right way. Well done, Sunny. You’re a dickhead, but you did get something from school. Gotta love this city! Apostrophe love in Mosman. Jokes of the week Ran out of toilet rolls, so have been reduced to replacing them with lettuce leaves. I really feel that is just the tip of the iceberg. Up at Coles the other night, I asked the manager if he had any toilet paper. “NO!” he yelled at me, in front of the whole check-out queue. They all kept staring at me. I am telling you, that walk back down Aisle 5 to the loos, with my pants around my ankles, was the most humiliating walk of my life.

Quotes of the week “Our state is in a battle with a virus that knows no boundaries and at the frontlines of that battle are the doctors and nurses and healthcare staff. They are our troops.” - NSW Health Minister Brad Hazzard giving credit where credit is due. “Until then the accused can stay in glorious isolation.” - Justice Elizabeth Fullerton of the NSW Supreme Court about a two-week adjournment in the criminal trial of two former Labor ministers Ian Macdonald and Eddie Obeid. “As amazing as this is, I’ll consider the project a major success when we’re returning 200 to 300 juveniles back to the river system each year. But this is a truly joyful way to kick off those efforts after so much heartache.” - Aussie Ark president Tim Faulkner about a clutch of 10 baby endangered Manning River turtles hatched over the past month thanks to a new breeding program that may help keep the breed alive in the longer term. Bravo, you magnificent bastards! “What the government's advice is, and that is based on the clear medical advice, is that the best thing we can do as a nation is to keep our schools open and there is two reasons for that. One is we have to look after our workforce, and especially our medical workforce. Up to 30 per cent of our medical workforce could be impacted if schools close. The second ... is a health reason. If you have kids at home, often elderly have to come in to look after them and that puts them at danger.” - NSW Education Minister Dan Tehan.