Noel Gallagher has turned down the chance to be a judge on Factor.

Quite why the showbiz and tabloid celebrity Cowell machine asked someone into music to judge on the programme is a mystery.

Back to the drawing board for Slimey Cowell…

We suggest…

Charles Mamson… Got a lot of time on his hands and a fairly unique world view. Would make great TV.

Bill Oddie…bring Bill back to TV. He may be ‘too old’ for nature programmer but his expertise on British wildlife may come in handy…

Carol Vorderman…any opportunity for a Question Time meltdown would at least be entertaining

Colonel Gaddaffi…may have some time off soon and would be a big hit in the Cowell role.

Noggin The Nog…TV career needs reviving…