CERN scientists announced today a new particle was just discovered. It was found on Tristan da Cunha, a volcanic island located roughly half way between Brazil and South Africa in the South Atlantic.

A sign on Tristan da Cunha claims it is the remotest island on Earth, being located half way between Brazil and South Africa.

“We have been looking for new particles everywhere for years. Who would have thought one was hiding on the remotest place on Earth!” said a befuddled James Gillies, spokesperson for CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research.

The new particle, called a foolion, had been proposed by theorists to explain how elementary particles could attract so much attention.

CERN received a tip about this sighting from the crew of a small Canadian sailboat that passed by the island last month. Scientists from the ATLAS and CMS collaborations are now studying the possibility of moving their detectors to the island of Tristan da Cunha to confirm the findings.

Pauline Gagnon

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