If you’re friends with alleged New York Times bestselling author and sports writer Jeff Pearlman and you’re expecting a child, you probably shouldn’t tell him about it:

Just saw a Tweet from a guy I know, announcing how excited he and his wife are to be having child No. 6. Does there come a point when, in the name of earth's survival and limited resources, we're allowed to say, "Hmm. I dunno, man …" — Jeff Pearlman (@jeffpearlman) April 16, 2019

He doesn’t know, man.

You just DID say it. https://t.co/MqItRCXb2n — Jeryl Bier (@JerylBier) April 16, 2019

Yeah he did. Passive-aggressively, of course.

Have some balls and say it to that guy's face. Double dare ya. — zoey (@zoeythegreat) April 16, 2019

We’d pay money to see that.

As a mom to 6 kids, I'm gonna say no. — Lisa (@RollTribe2019_) April 16, 2019

Serious Q, Lisa—why? Earth truly can't sustain this. Not hypothetical, factual. — Jeff Pearlman (@jeffpearlman) April 16, 2019

What the okay number of kids to have? — Robi Giacomini (@Rgiacomini) April 16, 2019

I dunno. 2? — Jeff Pearlman (@jeffpearlman) April 16, 2019

Jeff has spoken, everyone. Are you going to listen?

“Her body, her choice” only runs one way now? — GregEsq (@GregEsq) April 16, 2019

Oh, so it isn't their bodies, their choice? — HipsterEvangelical (@HEvangelical) April 16, 2019

Guess abortion is the exception to Jeff’s rule about not controlling women’s bodies.

I'm one of six kids. I don't think my parents would have reacted well to that idiot's question. — BT (@back_ttys) April 16, 2019

Thanks for being the arbiter of both bad science and how many kids one should have — Very Stupid Man (@very_stupid_man) April 16, 2019

No, because the Earth doesn’t have an overpopulation problem. Didn’t in Malthus’s time, doesn’t now. — Ilya Shapiro (@ishapiro) April 16, 2019

Say what you want, but you'll be wrong. You're seeing people only as burdens, not as assets. Worse, you're seeing people simply as a means, not as ends. — Tim Carney (@TPCarney) April 16, 2019

What a depressing lens through which to view the world.

Yes, you're allowed to be an asshole. — Some guy tweeted something ??‍♂️ (@jtLOL) April 16, 2019

Overpopulation = waaaaaay too much of you, just the right amount of me. https://t.co/UQJQrlPPIn — Cuffy (@CuffyMeh) April 16, 2019

That’s pretty much where Jeff’s at, yeah.

Nope…not your call to make, even in the slightest… congratulate your friend and move on….. — Bob Gibson (@BGreporting) April 16, 2019

Sage advice. In the meantime: