A depiction of a Jehovah’s Witness family from a recent video released by the organization.

As Jehovah’s Witnesses, we work to build up families, both our own and those of our neighbors.

That quote above is taken from an FAQ article of the same name as this article on the official website of the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Something Personal: Growing Up in a Jehovah’s Witness Family

Family is very important to Jehovah’s Witnesses. I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness, and our family spent a lot of time together. Most of our time together, however, was spent in preaching our doctrine, studying the bible and going to meetings, assemblies and conventions.

Most years, our family passed on the typical yearly family vacation because we spent money to attend the yearly District Convention (now called Regional Convention). This convention was usually held at a location that was a 4–6 hour drive from our home. In addition to the travel costs, we also had to pay for a hotel room and food for 2–3 nights in order to attend.

Understandably, when a family like ours had a limited budget, this was the only “extended” vacation you would get all year.*

I mention all these things to emphasize how much organizational activity Jehovah’s Witness families do together and how easy it is to conflate family and religion when you are raised in this environment.

The Question at Hand: Do Jehovah’s Witnesses Break Up Families or Build Them Up?

In the FAQ article mentioned at the outset, the Jehovah’s Witness organization touches on such things as mixed religion households, bible standards to follow for husbands, wives and children, and the conflict that might arise when a marriage mate may oppose the religion of the spouse.

The organization encourages the believing wife or husband to ‘win their partner over without a word.’ Essentially, that means to attempt to maintain the peace in the relationship and give a good example of a faithful husband or wife.

However, I want to address a different subject. The subject of what happens when a child may decide that Jehovah’s Witnesses aren’t the religion for them.

When a Child Leaves the Jehovah’s Witnesses

Children that are raised Jehovah’s Witness are usually baptized by the time they are teenagers, some as young as 11 or even 9 years old. Some are baptized even younger, believe it or not.

Baptism for Jehovah’s Witnesses is a lifelong commitment to uphold the bible standards and principles as interpreted by the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses. If a baptized Jehovah’s Witness violates those rules, they are dealt with by the congregation elders and sometimes excommunicated (disfellowshipped) from the congregation.

Jehovah’s Witness youths going through the hormonal and emotional extremes of puberty often fall short of those standards. Some youths may also use critical thinking skills and decide they no longer want to be a Jehovah’s Witness due to a crisis of faith.

How are those youths treated if they are disfellowshipped or disassociated from the congregation? The members of the congregation are instructed to “quit mixing in company” with them. They are shunned socially. Not even a greeting is supposed to be said to them.

What if this youth is a member of your family, or living in the household? How are they to be treated by their Jehovah’s Witness family?

Well, the Jehovah’s Witnesses have released a how-to video showing an example of exactly how they expect parents to treat their children that are no longer Jehovah’s Witnesses. A version in Spanish was leaked recently, and I have added English subtitles to the video to aid in understanding.

A Few Takeaways to Consider

We aren’t told in the video what the girl did, but there was a boy involved, so we are led to believe it was something very naughty.

The parents give the daughter disapproving looks during her public humiliation, kick their daughter out of their home, cut off contact with her, ignore her calls and are strengthened by a biblical example of a bible character who’s sons were executed and then was instructed to not express sorrow for the loss of his children.

The parents are portrayed as a good example. Their shunning of their daughter is given as the reason their daughter returned to the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Finally, and perhaps most reprehensible of all, the daughter is blamed for the emotional abuse and manipulation her family is inflicting upon her.

My Conclusion: Jehovah’s Witnesses DO Break Up Families

Jehovah’s Witnesses have hoisted themselves on their own petard in releasing this video. Here, in a concise, easy to follow example, they have shown that they do indeed break up families.

Tens of thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands, of former Jehovah’s Witnesses in the United States and abroad are experiencing this emotional blackmail that Jehovah’s Witnesses call a “loving arrangement.”

I myself have not officially been excommunicated from the Jehovah’s Witness organization. However, I am still experiencing this treatment from friends and family for the simple transgression of conscientiously ceasing to attend services.

This organization practices emotional abuse, emotional blackmail and is proud of it. They make no apologies for it. They think it is their right to inflict this treatment upon others. Some would call this treatment of members a human rights violation. I certainly do.

But, dear reader, I leave it to you to come to your own conclusion. I will not shun you if you choose to respectfully disagree with me.

Do Jehovah’s Witnesses, in your opinion, break up families, or do they build them up?