Posted on 02 January 2012

Dear New Nation editor,

As a parent of an only son, I am deeply troubled by the recent news regarding the state of sexuality education in Singapore’s public schools.

It has been announced in the news that the focus has recently been shifted from contraception to abstinence and this is an area the religious and non-religious have been fighting about for the longest time.

I am very religious but I don’t know why there is so much fuss on telling youngsters about these issues in the first place, because the more it is mentioned to them, the more aware they are of it and the more likely they will do something that is wrong.

That is why, I have never talked about the birds and the bees with my son or will I ever broach the topic with him.

I know that I don’t have to because my son is normal and too young for such things. He will find out about the birds and the bees when he is ready to marry in the future and this is a topic best left to him and his future wife, and the religious counsellors.

I want him to be just like me: To find out about sex only after I got married.

Long before this sexuality education issue got its airing in public media, I have given it some thought: I wanted to protect my son so I have always sent him to a same-sex school.

Currently, my son is in secondary school. He is from an all-boys institution. Therefore, knowing this fact, I know for sure he will not feel any temptation with girls because he is surrounded only by other boys.

This was something I thought about when I first sent him there to study.

Needless to say, it is for this reason that I don’t like the idea of MOE going to my son’s school to teach the innocent boys about the birds and the bees. And even show them videos!

This will only make them more curious.

I know my boy. If he is really curious, he will refer to his religious texts for answers.

I also know for a fact my boy does not have any temptation. He is always hanging out with other boys his age.

He says he is not ready to date girls because he wants to give it more thought and I encourage his decision.

When he wants to hang out with his guy friends, I allow him. No questions asked. He even tells me they go for sleepovers at each others’ house or camps – at least four times a year.

During the semester, he is a very active student who spends a lot of his time in CCAs. He tells me his whereabouts so I know he spends most of his time in school.

He frequently brings his classmates and schoolmates home after school when my husband and I are away at work and I allow them.

This is better than for them to hang out at shopping centres and meeting gangsters or girls who would lead them astray.

But I am no prude: I encourage my boy to follow trends that are at the height of fashion. I allow him to go shopping at his favourite outlet in Orchard Road, Abercrombie & Fitch. I heard from my son the clothing there are affordable and the staff are tall and friendly.

I am proud to add that I have raised my son as a proper, hygienic and healthy child.

For example, he says grace before every meal.

I allow him to do his own laundry.

He also likes to take long showers, some times as often as three times a day.

I know Singapore’s weather is very hot and even after his third shower, he can look quite lethargic and drained.

Although he is a bit bookish and not very athletic, he takes a keen interest in sports such as water polo and dragon boating.

Whenever his school has a match or competition, he will be there to show his support.

He has even made several close friends with some of the water polo and dragon boat boys.

Even when his school’s water polo and dragon boat teams are not playing, he will go to the events to show support to other teams’ members.

Not only that, my son makes friends of all ages.

He is very sociable.

Once, I found many photos of him with two older men taken around Tanjong Pagar area. I am very proud! My boy says he is looking to intern around that area once he is done with secondary school! So ambitious right, Central Business District!

And almost all of his friends on Facebook are male.

I know many other parents out there are always concerned about their children. But not for me.

I never find magazines such as FHM or Maxim under his bed.

I only find plenty of body building magazines and Men’s Health magazines. They show a lot of photos of shirtless men in various body building or workout poses.

This inspires my boy to bulk up his build, which I support.

Last but not least, I hope the government can be sensible and do the right thing with regards to the sexuality education issue.

They should ban it like chewing gum.

Yours sincerely,

Confident Mother of Only Son