'In order to achieve my dream, everyday when I get up, I feel I have to perform better in this match or this year I have to improve more,' says Pankaj Singh.

Remember Pankaj Singh? The tall, burly pacer who once played Tests for India? The one who got christened 'unlucky Pankaj' after ending up with the most expensive match figures by a Test debutant without a wicket? The one who took 26 spells, 69 overs and 415 balls to earn his maiden international wicket on that tough England tour in 2014? The one who kept toiling hard in the domestic arena for years and years, churning out wickets on unfavourable surfaces just to get that opportunity once again to represent his country?

Well, the same Pankaj has become just the fourth Indian pacer to scalp 400 wickets in first-class cricket. He is also the first Rajasthan bowler to do so. Three years after being dropped from the India squad following a tough debut series against England, Pankaj is still going strong.

He finished as the joint third-highest wicket-taker in the Ranji Trophy this season with 41 wickets. And at 31, it looks like he is getting better.

He delays the interview for a couple of days because he wants to concentrate on the ongoing Irani Cup, but true to his promise, invites me to his hotel room the next day. After finishing his prayers, he greets us with a warm handshake and takes us through the roller-coaster ride that is Pankaj Singh's career so far in a heart-to-heart chat with Firstpost. Excerpts:

Click here for the full interview.

How did your cricketing journey begin?

Pankaj: Just like every other teenager, I used to play cricket on the streets, but it took me a while to decide whether I should enter professional cricket. It was because I hail from Amaithi (a village in Bihar), where progressing in cricket or any other field was difficult, especially 12 years ago. I think I was 17-18 when I finally decided to play professionally and the credit goes to Asad Ahmed, who introduced me to Munawar Ali, who in turn brought me into professional cricket and helped me a lot in every aspect.

When did you realise that you are made for the highest level, that is international cricket?

Pankaj: When I was practising in Bangalore, I was a newbie. I had just come out of club cricket and played a maximum of 15-20 overs of cricket and then suddenly I was bowling to Dravid and practising with India A, bowling to the likes of Irfan Pathan and Wasim Jaffer. There’s one interesting incident where I had helped Jaffer with knocking and he told me to collect a T-shirt and track pant. To be honest, I didn't have much knowledge about cricket and the players. I didn’t recognise Jaffer at the moment. One of the boys, however, told me that 'Wasim bhai' had asked me to collect the track suit from his room. So I went to the room and I saw Irfan Pathan sitting there. He knew I wasn’t recognising Jaffer, so he gave me a low-down on who all were there in the team and gave me the track suit. At that time Madan Lal was the coach, and that’s when I realised I could do well in cricket because I was bowling to India players and things were going pretty well, and the response was motivating as well. Everybody was appreciating me, including the coach.

You weren't selected in the playing eleven on the Australia tour in 2007-08. How did you feel?

Pankaj: I was selected for the India A team and emerged as the highest wicket-taker, taking a total of 17 wickets in five List A and two first-class matches. I had some 10 wickets in those five List A matches. After that in practice matches, I took two wickets in 10-12 overs. Everything was getting better and as I had planned. Not getting the opportunity in the playing eleven of the national side (during the Australia tour in 2007-08) was the first time that I was facing a barrier. Once you are out of the picture, it takes a long time to get into the mix again.

Was there anything special that you learnt on that Australia tour?

Pankaj: Obviously, I learnt a lot. Training with the top 15 players of the country gives you a lot of mental toughness. You could see how players like Sachin Tendulkar paaji and the other stars fought back. I knew there were a lot of controversies on that tour and I witnessed how the players stayed united. We lost the first two matches and won the third one after all the controversy. I got to know how tough you had to be mentally to play at that level.

Take us through that roller-coaster ride on debut at Southampton (in the third Test of the 2014 series against England).

Pankaj: My best time was till 2008-09 when I kept on achieving success everywhere and things kept happening quickly. From there I fell down and then got up, but still things remained the same after the comeback. It (the Southampton Test) was the first match that I was playing. It was my biggest dream for which I had put in a lot of hardwork for years. Everyone said that I was bowling well. But the result was totally unexpected. It was a very tough thing to handle but by that time I had matured enough to understand that there will be times in sports where things just won't go your way. This happens once in 15-20 matches. Unfortunately it happened to me in my first every match for India.

A catch was dropped early, that of Alastair Cook off your 13th ball, and then Ian Bell was adjudged not out, there were edges flying. Everyone knew your first day in Test cricket was unlucky, but when you went back inside the dressing room that day, what was the feeling?

Pankaj: A lot of things had happened that day. If I watch the videos, I could say that even the Ranji players don’t get beaten as often as the England batsmen did that day. A lot edges whizzed inches past the fielders but didn't go to their hands. I was frustrated, but with time I had matured to know that things like these happen in cricket. The one thing that I had learnt was to be always ready to fight because if you gave up, then it would be game over. Haarna aur uske baare me sochne ka to sawaal hi nahi uthta tha, nahi hoga ye soch ke baith nahi sakte in sports. (There was no question of brooding about a loss, you can't be pessimistic in sports) Hence the thought that I would fail didn't cross my mind ever. I believed I could pick a wicket with every ball I bowled. It is another thing that it didn't quite happen. I was beating the bat or inducing the edges a number of times. Unfortunately, what I wanted to achieve wasn't happening, but somewhere in my mind I knew I could succeed.

Did Mahendra Singh Dhoni (the Indian captain at that time) speak to you after the day's play?

Pankaj: Obviously he did, not only after the day's play, but after the match too. He told me that I had bowled very well. He praised my performance in the post-match presentation as well. On the field, he kept telling me, "Itna aasan nahi, yeh cricket hai." (It's not so easy in cricket) He told me to try and try, and that I was bowling well and that it was the only thing that I could do.

How did you react to the the 'Unlucky Pankaj' tag?

Pankaj: By thinking about it more, I wasn't going to change it. I take my life this way: try to do whatever you can, don't think too much about what you cannot. This helps and motivates me a lot.

You must have had a lot of sympathy during that time?

Pankaj: Sympathies are not sufficient especially when you have been dreaming about it (playing for the country) for years but finally get there and are not able to achieve what you want even after putting in your best. If I had bowled badly and didn't get wickets, fair enough. But here I had bowled well, chances had been created and still I wasn't successful. During such times you have to surrender to God and think, "Okay, fair enough, leave it, I will try and work harder going forward."

After 26 spells, 69 overs, and 415 deliveries you finally managed a wicket, ironically a lucky one with Root strangled down the leg side. What was your feeling after that?

Pankaj: It made me laugh (smiles). Yehi hai kismat, yehi hai cricket aur yehi life hai. (This is what you call luck, this is cricket and this is life) When you had bowled so many good balls and put in so much of effort you hadn't got a wicket. And how did you get the wicket in the end? Down the leg side off a delivery you don't expect to get a wicket.

I scalped the second wicket off a slower one. I had planned to bowl a slower ball but in Test cricket you rarely get a wicket off a slower one. It's through these things that you get to know that life and cricket are unpredictable. Sometimes you have to leave things to God - whatever He decides, you have to go with Him. You have to do what is in your hands.

After that tour of England, did you think you will play for India again?

Pankaj: Yes, you get an idea from the talks you have in the dressing room. Everyone acknowledged that I had bowled well. So there wasn't a feeling that I won't get back into the team again. And there was also no reason for not getting back. It wasn't that I had suddenly entered the team and didn't perform because I had taken seven-eight years to get into the team. Then I didn't get picked again. That was not in my hands. After coming back (from England tour) also, I had bowled well in the Duleep Trophy and then took 40 wickets in seven matches. What is in my hands is to perform to the best of my abilities whenever I play.

In hindsight, if Jadeja would have grabbed that catch...

Pankaj (interrupts): Mai wo soch ke dukhi nahi hona chahta kabhi bhi (I don't want to be sad thinking too much about it)... because there is a lot of ifs and buts in life. In the 2007-08 Australia tour, I had a good chance of playing the Perth match (the third Test of the series), but Irfan Pathan made his comeback as the team was without an opener and he agreed to open the innings. Otherwise it might have been I who would have played that match. Ishant Sharma became Ishant Sharma because of that match as he took the wicket of Ricky Ponting after that 8-10 over spell.

If I look in hindsight, I remember that match the most. If things would have gone right for me there, you don't know, things might have been different. But life is like that. If I go further behind, had I not met Munawar Ali I wouldn't have played cricket at all. So there are many things to be sad about and many things to become happy about. I got picked for India in four years, not many people get that chance. Then for six years I didn't get a chance... that is a part of life too. You have to accept it. Sometimes you get things early, sometimes late. The way I am working hard on my cricket it might turn out that there is something better in store for me. You never know! If I would have been thinking about the past I wouldn't have been able to put in so much of hard work and perform consistently.

Despite churning out wickets on a consistent basis, your name doesn't still feature on the selectors' radar. It must be terribly frustrating...

Pankaj: Obviously you would get frustrated. Moreover, I am not getting any younger and I can't be sure till when my performance will continue. In sports, till the time you are performing, your name would still be there in the reckoning, if you have one bad year, you would not even be in the scene. So there is a tension as well as frustration ki abhi nahi ho paa raha to mushkil hai aage. (That if it is not happening for you now, it would be difficult going ahead) The one thing that can take you to the national team is just your performance. If you have taken 40 wickets and you are still not selected, imagine what your chance would be if you take just 15 wickets. Fir 50 lene ki socho (Then think about taking 50 wickets). That's the thing with me, I try to achieve more.

Have there been days where self-doubt had crept in?

Pankaj: It may start to creep in when I am not able to perform. Till now, it hasn't happened that I have gone wicketless in two-three matches at a stretch. So if I start feeling that I am not being able to compete with my teammates or they are getting better, self doubt will start to creep in.

How do you get this motivation?

Pankaj: My biggest source of motivation is that I haven't fulfilled my dream yet. As the great APJ Abdul Kalam once said: "Sapne wo nahin jo aap sote waqt dekhte hain, sapne wo hote hain jo aapko sone nahin dete (dreams are not something that you see while sleeping, dreams are something that don't let you sleep)." In order to achieve my dream, everyday when I get up, I feel I have to perform better in this match or this year I have to improve more, or this season I have to achieve something that no one has managed, so that people talk about you, think about you and you can make a comeback into the Indian team.

What's the best advice you have received so far?

Pankaj: To believe in myself. Dhoni once told me that there was nothing called luck. People have been tagging me, saying I have been unlucky and so on. He told me that you had to create your own luck. This is the best advice I have received.

If you get one more chance to play for India, and on that occasion too, luck deserts you, what would be your reaction?

Pankaj (Ponders, then smiles): I don't think that something like this would happen again. From where I started, I am today Rajasthan's highest wicket-taker with 400 wickets (in first class cricket), I have represented the country... very few get that chance. I had nothing in life to start with. The way things had panned out could be called a miracle. So if I have been unlucky today, I have been lucky earlier. It's all part and parcel of life. Sometimes you get what you want, sometimes you don't.

What's the road ahead for Pankaj Singh?

Pankaj: Right now, it's just one thing - work harder, keep improving until my dream of playing for the Indian team again is fulfilled (Beams).

Click here for the full interview.