Cambridge, MA – Home to Harvard University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), this city is known for its dedication to intellectual pursuits. That dedication, however, is being tested by East Middle School’s Mrs. Clark’s 7th grade Social Studies class.

The children voted anonymously to place The Satanic Temple’s 7 Tenets up on the walls for everyone to see.

”The students ran an Oxford-style debate against the 10 Commandments and the Tenets,” explains Mrs. Clark. “Satan won.”

The Cambridge City School Committee last year enacted a new program in critical thinking. This is the first time middle school students studied logical fallacies, basic logic, and the history of religion.

Part of the lesson plan is for the students to pick a topic and engage in an Oxford-style debate. The winning team is the one that sways the audience’s opinion to its position. Students are allowed to pick the topic.

Principal Andrew Canard runs East Middle School. He saw the writing on the wall days ahead of the controversy but didn’t think it would lead to this. “Giving students critical thinking skills is a radical concept,” he said,”allowing them to make their own choices? That was crazy.”

Two weeks ago Mrs. Clark’s classroom voted on the subject to debate. Many suspect rabble rouser Jimmy Smith behind the final vote. Friends say Jimmy isn’t a Satanist. Rather, he’s a kid with a taste for mischief with a wicked sense of humor.

”Most of us make stupid videos on TikTok. Jimmy makes videos on YouTube about Late-stage capitalism,” one anonymous comrade noted. “He convinced us to pit the 10 Commandments vs The Satanic Temple’s Tenets.”

Apparently, the debate was one sided. Sources report by the end of the class Satanism was the clear winner with 100% of the votes siding with Satan. Not only did Lucifer win, but each anonymous ballot demanded the 7 Tenets be placed on the wall as inspiration.

“The people spoke, and they like the Devil,” Mrs. Clark noted.

The 7 Fundamental Tenets

Controversy is raging over Satan in the classroom. Local religious leaders are decrying the downfall of Western civilization. “First they came for our traditional pronouns, now they want the children. They can’t have them. They’re ours,” stated Catholic Priest Father Patrick “Patty” D. File.

Most parents are shrugging their shoulders and think it’s no big thing. They point out the Satanists have a pretty good code to live by.

Here are the 7 Fundamental Tenets now on display in the classroom:

One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one’s own.

Beliefs should conform to one’s best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one’s beliefs.

People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one’s best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

Mrs. Clark is determined to stand firm regardless of what conservatives say. She noted, “This is a case of religious liberty. It’s just not their religion, and that’s their problem.”

In related news, President Trump tweeted windmills steel air.

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