(StopMasturbationNOW)—It’s the age old question… what came first the chicken or the egg? Well it kind of depends who you talk to, if you are a faithful follower of the teachings of Lonnie then you are well aware that the chicken was created intact and whole. However if you are a liberal who worships scLIEnce, then you believe that some goo morphed into a fish and then a chicken. Well the same question is often asked here, does masturbation make people stupid or is it just that stupid people are prone to rape themselves?

Thanks to a $50,000 federally funded grant from the Foundation for a Better Tomorrow we did some research on the subject.

We asked 100 college students whether they feel more or less like studying after masturbating.

We also tested a cross section of people with various IQ levels to see their masturbation level.

These results may not tell us whether masturbation makes you stupid or whether stupid people masturbate, but it is obvious there is a correlation.