The Octopus Vs. Plane Movie Looks Awesome! by zach best

I’m guessing Hollywood screenwriters read a lot of comic books and play a bunch of video games. I’m also guessing it’s not by choice. I envision a well-dressed douchebag studio exec pacing behind a massive glass desk, Blackberry in hand, shouting sentence fragments, while a grizzled screenwriter slumps in a leather chair frantically taking notes.

Studio exec: “One word: carjacking. You follow?”

Screenwriter: “Yeah, yeah, gotcha.”

Studio exec: “It’s hip, it’s now, it’s edgy.”

Screenwriter: “Uh, huh.”

Studio exec: “Think Grand Theft Auto meets Panic Room.”

Screenwriter: “Right, okay.”

Studio exec: “Great! Make it happen.”

Scene. According to The Wrap, Stephen Dorff is in negotiations to join Maria Bello in an upcoming thriller called Carjacked. Bello will play a MILF who, along with her kid, ends up getting jacked by a thief. Intense drama ensues, allegedly.

Dorff’s famous for playing a vampire. Bello is known to get naked for roles. Hmm. I’m thinking about a flick where a vampire carjacks a nudist. You follow?