Britain to repeat its Brexit offer loudly and slowly until the foreigners get it

In dramatic scenes last night, Parliament voted for Theresa May to return to Brussels and repeat their offer loudly and slowly until the foreigners get it.

The EU has repeatedly rejected the proposals because they’re a bit slow and obviously didn’t understand them the first time, but senior figures within parliament are confident that loudly saying ‘SPEAKEE ENGLISHEE’ will break the deadlock.

“The first time we explained the deal we’re after, Michel Barnier just cupped one ear and said ‘Que?’, so we think there’s room for movement there,” said MP Simon Williams.

”All Theresa May has to do to make Parliament happy is get the deal we have been specifically told isn’t on the table – and she can do that by raising her voice and enunciating ev-er-y syl-lab-ble. Like that,” he added.

“If I were Prime Minister I would have done it by now. It would have been dead easy, but I know how to talk to foreigners as I holiday in the Peloponnese every year.”

Theresa May is to return to Brussels this morning with a dead and empty expression behind her eyes.

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!