“It’s all about immigration. It’s not about trade or Europe or anything like that …” boldly declares an interviewee on a Channel 4 news video going viral on Facebook. He continues: “The movement of people in Europe – fair enough. But not from Africa, Syria, Iraq, everywhere else, it’s all wrong.” I don’t know what’s more astounding – the fact that this man’s xenophobia was the sole motive for his Brexit vote or the fact that he is so uninformed, he doesn’t realise that his vote has actually secured the opportunity for more migrants from Africa, Syria, and Iraq.

If this were a view shared by the 52% of those who voted in the referendum to leave the EU, I might be able to identify with the fury and frustration directed towards Brexit supporters. However, this just isn’t the case. The Brexit populace consists of more than grumpy white 55-year-old men who reside in northern England and are angry at eastern Europeans for taking all the jobs they never applied for. I – a 20-something member of an ethnic minority who works in London – am a case in point.

My decision was far from easy. The democratic deficit and national sovereignty were issues of concern, especially given the trajectory of the EU. The European commission consists of unelected officials who lack democratic accountability. And given how far we’ve come since joining the EEC in 1973, it’s at least a little unnerving to consider how much more politically integrated the EU will be in 10 or 15 years’ time. Our politicians may still make awful decisions, but at least they are accountable to us.

Economics and trade were also factors in my decision-making. Although, make no mistake, I didn’t view the short-term economic implications through rose-tinted spectacles. The stakes were always high – with a large number of UK-based firms relying on access to the single market, and particularly the banks on passporting rights, its removal was likely to result in jobs being moved elsewhere within the EU. And the shock of a Brexit victory (accompanied by uncertainty) was always going to have a detrimental effect on markets. However, given our economic strength within the EU, and the level of trade that currently takes place between the UK and the EU, I believe the UK can negotiate a favourable deal. And greater control of immigration would allow for better planning of public services, and would provide more opportunities for non-EU migrants. Although I won’t pretend that the degree of control doesn’t depend on any deal made with the EU.

Sadly, many remain voters care little for the reasoning or rationale behind the decision of Brexit voters. I’ve seen Brexiters being grouped together and called “idiot”, “racist”, and other derogatory terms, simply by virtue of being Brexit voters. Their rationale is redundant, and their motives irrelevant. The only thing being placed on trial is the positioning of their X on the ballot paper.

Some remain voters have descended into the barbarism and intolerance that they fight against so valiantly in others

These remain voters have descended into the barbarism and intolerance that they fight against so valiantly in others. They condemn the notion that all Muslims should be held responsible for the atrocious actions of Isis, but then proceed to implicate all Brexiters in the recent post-Brexit racist attacks. They advocate the importance of tolerance and an understanding of different viewpoints. And yet, I can’t help but notice the intellectual arrogance that has exuded from many remain voters, and their failure to distinguish between Brexiters desiring to make “Britain white again” and those who made a genuine attempt to consider all the arguments and implications before casting their vote. Among the latter, you’ll find voters who did their best to make an informed decision; whose parents are immigrants; and who abhor the racist motivations of other Brexiters just as much as remain voters do.

Moving forward, the UK needs a leader entering into these impending negotiations with the understanding that he or she represents the whole nation, not merely the 52% who voted for Brexit. The new prime minister will need to work with prominent figures across the leave-remain divide to obtain the most favourable outcome for the UK. But we as a nation, made up of both remain and leave voters, must engage in dialogue, accompanied by mutual respect, in order to heal the deep divide exposed by this Brexit outcome.

• This article was amended on 30 November 2016. An earlier version said 52% of the UK population had voted to leave the EU