INT. HOPES PEAK HIGH - AFTERNOON

Daring ultimate biker BIKER MONDO OOWADA is arguing with cute hall monitor MORAL COMPASS TAKA ISHIMARU. MONDO tries to hug TAKA but he shakes him off.

MONDO

Please Taka, don't leave me.

TAKA

I'm sorry Mondo, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.

MONDO

I am such a person!

TAKA frowns.

TAKA

I'm sorry, Mondo. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.

TAKA leaves.

MONDO sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, admirable fishmonger (idk) ULTIMATE HOPE MAKOTO NAEGI barges in looking flustered.

MONDO

Goodness, Makoto! Is everything okay?

MAKOTO

I'm afraid not.

MONDO

What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...

MAKOTO

It's ... a bear ... I saw an evil bear give them despair a bunch of sayakas idol group!

MONDO

Defenseless sayakas idol group?

MAKOTO

Yes, defenseless sayakas idol group!

MONDO

Bloomin' heck, Makoto! We've got to do something.

MAKOTO

I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.

MONDO

You can start by telling me where this happened.

MAKOTO

I was...

MAKOTO fans himself and begins to wheeze.

MONDO

Focus Makoto, focus! Where did it happen?

MAKOTO

The Bath House! That's right - The Bath House!

MONDO springs up and begins to run.

EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

MONDO rushes along the street, followed by MAKOTO. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

INT. THE BATH HOUSE - SHORTLY AFTER

MONO KUMA a despair bear terrorises two sayakas idol group.

MONDO, closely followed by MAKOTO, rushes towards MONO, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

MAKOTO

What is is? What's the matter?

MONDO

That's not just any old bear, that's Mono Kuma!

MAKOTO

Who's Mono Kuma?

MONDO

Who's Mono Kuma? Who's Mono Kuma? Only the most despair bear in the universe!

MAKOTO

Blinkin' knickers, Mondo! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most despair bear in the universe!

MONDO

You can say that again.

MAKOTO

Blinkin' knickers, Mondo! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most despair bear in the universe!

MONDO

I'm going to need ultimate punishment, lots of ultimate punishment.

Mono turns and sees Mondo and Makoto. He grins an evil grin.

MONO

Mondo Oowada, we meet again.

MAKOTO

You've met?

MONDO

Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young MONDO is sitting in a park listening to some rock music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees MONO. He takes off his headphones.

MONO

Would you like some peppermints?

MONDO's eyes light up, but then he studies MONO more closely, and looks uneasy.

MONDO

I don't know, you look kind of despair.

MONO

Me? No. I'm not despair. I'm the least despair bear in the world.

MONDO

Wait, you're a bear?

MONDO runs away, screaming.

INT. THE BATH HOUSE - PRESENT DAY

MONO

You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

MAKOTO

(To MONDO) You ran away?

MONDO

(To MAKOTO) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?

MONDO turns to MONO.

MONDO

I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!

MONDO runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

MONDO

I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with ultimate punishment.

MONO

I'm not scared of you.

MONDO

You should be.

INT. THE GYM - LATER THAT DAY

MONDO and MAKOTO walk around searching for something.

MONDO

I feel sure I left my ultimate punishment somewhere around here.

MAKOTO

Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly ultimate punishment.

MONDO

You know nothing Makoto Naegi.

MAKOTO

We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.

Suddenly, MONO appears, holding a pair of ultimate punishment.

MONO

Looking for something?

MAKOTO

Crikey, Mondo, he's got your ultimate punishment.

MONDO

Tell me something I don't already know!

MAKOTO

The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

MONDO

I know that already!

MAKOTO

I killedmy brother.

MONO

(appalled) Dude!

While MONO is looking at MAKOTO with disgust, MONDO lunges forward and grabs his deadly ultimate punishment. He wields them, triumphantly.

MONDO

Prepare to die, you despair hifumi!

MONO

No please! All I did was give them despair a bunch of sayakas idol group!

TAKA enters, unseen by any of the others.

MONDO

I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those sayakas idol group were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Mondo Oowada defender of innocent sayakas idol group.

MONO

Don't hurt me! Please!

MONDO

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these ultimate punishment on you right away!

MONO

Because Mondo, I am your father.

MONDO looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

MONDO

No you're not!

MONO

Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

MONO tries to grab the ultimate punishment but MONDO dodges out of the way.

MONDO

Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?

Unexpectedly, MONO slumps to the ground.

MAKOTO

Did he just faint?

MONDO

I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly ultimate punishment.

MONDO crouches over MONO's body.

MAKOTO

Be careful, Mondo. It could be a trick.

MONDO

No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Mono Kuma is dead!

MONDO

What?

MONDO

Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.

MAKOTO claps his hands.

MAKOTO

So your ultimate punishment did save the day, after all.

TAKA steps forward.

TAKA

Is it true? Did you kill the despair bear?

MONDO

Taka how long have you been...?

TAKA puts his arm around MONDO.

TAKA

Long enough.

MONDO

Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Mono Kuma.

TAKA

Then the sayakas idol group are safe?

MONDO

It does seem that way!

A crowd of vulnerable sayakas idol group enter, looking relived.

TAKA

You are their hero.

The sayakas idol group bow to MONDO.

MONDO

There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Mono Kuma will never give them despair sayakas idol group ever again, is enough for me.

TAKA

You are humble as well as brave!

One of the sayakas idol group passes MONDO a baby Fujisaki

TAKA

I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

MONDO

I couldn't possibly.

Pause.

MONDO

Well, if you insist.

MONDO takes the Fujisaki.

MONDO

Thank you.

The sayakas idol group bow their heads once more, and leave.

MONDO turns to TAKA.

MONDO

Does this mean you want me back?

TAKA

Oh, Mondo, of course I want you back!

MONDO smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

MONDO

Well you can't have me.

TAKA

WHAT?

MONDO

You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a bear to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.

TAKA

But...

MONDO

Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Makoto.

MAKOTO grins.

TAKA

But...

MAKOTO

You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

TAKA

Mondo?

MONDO

I'm sorry Taka, but I think you should skidaddle.

TAKA leaves.

MAKOTO turns to MONDO.

MAKOTO

Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?

MONDO

Of course you are!

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly MAKOTO stops.

MAKOTO

When I said I killedmy brother, you know I was just trying to distract the bear don't you?

THE END