Things are kind of awkward around here these days. I don’t want to rub it in for Stuey, but I was recently awarded — for the second year in a row — Most Medium Dog in Farmington’s prestigious Doozy of a Dog Contest. While happily trotting up to retrieve my blue ribbon (which looks great with my eyes, by the way) I couldn’t help but feel bad for the slightly pathetic Stuey, who walked away with the dreaded second place red ribbon.

But I am, you know, famous. And Stuey? Well, he’s just a dog. Clearly, I am much more medium than he.

I do know how he feels, though. On that same fateful evening I was given a second ribbon, and I’m not especially proud of it. As you know, my expressive eyes are two of my best assets. But the contest judges declared that my eyes weren’t fabulous enough to win first or even second place. I’ve tried to jump high enough to grab the hideous reminder of my third place “honor” from the refrigerator so I can properly chew it up, but I can’t reach it.

Back to happier thoughts, I do wish to thank my many fans for their support. I never could have won the Most Medium Dog award without the backing of my fellow dogs and children who find me irresistible.

You like me! You really like me!

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