Catholic bishop resigns over shame of ‘consensual adult relationship’

The Pope has accepted the resignation of an Argentine bishop for bringing shame on the church with his admission that he took the unusual step of engaging in a consensual sexual relationship with an adult member of the opposite sex.

Catholic Bishop Fernando Bargallo, 57, was photographed in the sea inappropriately hugging a grown woman who didn’t even slightly resemble an altar boy.

The church moved quickly to clarify they would not ‘protect’ him, and that he had no choice but to resign immediately.

A Vatican spokesperson explained, “There are only so many things the church has time to cover up, and it was just easier to kick this guy out.”

“I’m kept pretty busy looking after child molesters and keeping them in the bosom of the church, so there’s really very little time to look after a guy who has sex with people want to to have sex back.”

Argentine Bishop resigns

Experts have said that the church’s decision to act upon a situation deemed perfectly normal in polite society, and ignore horrendous abuse cases is further evidence that they should probably stop living their lives based on a two-thousand year old book.

Non-catholic Simon Williams explained, “I can see the appeal in chastising people who behave inappropriately with regards to the Church’s values – it’s just that their actions have not really done a great job defining those values.”

“But like my old priest used to say in Sunday School, ‘Be quiet Simon, where in the ten commandments does it sau thou shalt not touch young kids?’.”