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In the most discomfiting of petty crime news today, a Floridian man will be charged with a felony for allegedly filling up on stolen soda with the complimentary water cup a cashier provided him at McDonald's. Seems harsh right? Okay, so when you read the fine print, it's not quite as bad as it seems. The felony charge isn't actually the automatic penalty for Florida's soda thieves. The local ABC news station explains:

While his charge is petty theft, because of previous petty theft convictions, the charge for drinking the unpaid-for soda was increased from a misdemeanor to a felony.

An habitual soda thief! Maybe this Hamburgler will get a pardon from Mayor McCheese. (Sorry, it was right there waiting to be said.) The soda was valued at $1, so if we were this guy, we'd probably be rethinking our actions. Anyway, we only pass along this rather small story since we think it might resonate with some less scrupled readers. Yes, we're onto you, America. Even if you're not so nefarious as to ask for a water cup and then sneak a few spurts of Coca-Cola at the fountain, as this guy did, you might be the type who's sneaky enough to take a free refill for the soda you did purchase before leaving the store. But no more! America's law enforcement has spoken, and order shall be restored on our fast food habits once again!

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.