UNDISCLOSED LOCATION—DEVGRU operators have begun readying their ghillie suits should military operations be required in shithole countries.

Navy SEALs are applying plastic milk bottles, ripped garbage bags, and detritus to their base ghillie layers to ensure enemies can’t distinguish them from their surroundings.

“We’ve heard the president say that we don’t want immigrants from shithole countries,” a SEAL commander said who preferred not to be named for security reasons. “We now need to prepare our men and equipment in case these countries retaliate and we need to fight in these shitholes.”

At press time, the SEAL commander was collecting the smoke grenades from his men. “You won’t need these,” he said. “There’s so much smoke already from the garbage fires that you should have good air cover. No need to carry the extra weight.”