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Eleanor Venables

Silly me. Apparently, I forgot my body is public property.

I recently got a new tattoo (courtesy of Dean Kalcoff at Dangerzone Tattoo in Fitzroy. Dude is amazing, by the way), and I’m noticing more often now that people offer up their opinion on my pieces to me without invitation.

Increasingly, as my collection of tattoos grows, people don’t seem to have a problem coming up to me at random and grabbing my limbs and twisting them this way and that to get a better view of my tattoos - all without invitation, I may add.

Imagine that - you’re in a shop and you’re handing over your debit card to pay for something and the shopkeeper just reaches out and grabs your arm and twists it around without so much as an “excuse me”.

At first, I was caught somewhat off guard by it all - I’d never really experienced this kind of thing before and after the initial shock of having my personal space invaded, managed to stammer out some kind of thanks for their admiration.

However, as I’m (unfortunately) growing used to it now, I begin to suspect this may be something endemic only to tattooed women.

Firstly, I am not an intimidating person to look at. I’m barely 160cm tall, rosy cheeked and normally very polite and friendly to strangers. Maybe this is the crux of the problem. I rather imagine the kind of individual the average person in my hometown would imagine to have prominent tattoos would not be someone like me; rather a burly and rough-looking bloke with a sleeve full of either neo-tribal shite or pinup girls and skulls.

Let’s get one thing clear. I do like getting compliments and comments on my tattoos. Of course I’m proud of them; otherwise I wouldn’t have endured the discomfort of getting them, or paid the hundreds of dollars per session to get them done.

By all means, if you appreciate them and would like a better look, just ask. I will be happy to roll up my sleeves and give you a squiz.

However, please don’t accost me without warning. It freaks me out, and it’s incredibly rude. Imagine if I liked your hair, and took it upon myself to gently grab a handful while behind you in line at a store, just so I could have a feel because “it just looks so soft!”

That shit is creepy as fuck, and it’s no different with my tattoos.

To be honest, it still feels like tattooed women are viewed like sideshow freaks. I’m a novelty to you all. I realise most people only accept small “dainty” tattoos on women, such as a frangipani on her foot, or some Chinese/Japanese/Indian script on the back of her neck. Any woman who dares to get more than a coin-sized piece done is clearly an “attention whore” with “daddy issues”.

I wish I was pulling those two quotes out of my ass, but unfortunately, those are attitudes I’ve seen demonstrated time and time again, both in real life and online, towards women with extensive tattoos.

I’ve been asked by strangers and acquaintances “why would you do that to your beautiful skin?”

What do you want me to do? Apologise to you, person whom I barely know and probably don’t give a shit about, for spoiling your viewing pleasure? For wanting to adorn my body with what I view as beautiful and meaningful without giving any consideration to how you may feel about it?

Who the fuck are you and why are you policing my body? Why are you acting as though I owe it to the rest of the world to look pretty first and foremost for others?

Oh, silly me. I forgot - I’m a woman. I’m only a worthwhile human to society if I’m aesthetically pleasing to the majority. I can’t be too tall, too short, too fat or too thin or too muscular*, and certainly not too tattooed.

*This will no doubt be a rant for another day, but I swear to God if I have one more damned trainer at my gym try and convince me I should only be using light weights and high reps, I will go fucking postal.

PS - If anyone can find the original artist of the comic featured, let me know, k? Credit where credit is due.