Finally have a spare minute to write Amelie’s birth story.

I still feel like I’m in a wonderful dream.

The first inkling of labor was the moment of the total lunar eclipse around 1 in the morning, one day after Amelie’s predicted due date. I began having contractions that were not painful, merely uncomfortable enough that they woke me up. They continued every 15-20 minutes until about 7 in the morning (to Ben’s chagrin – he was hoping to finally be able to begin his parental leave!) Ben was nervous about going to work that day because many of his patient’s homes were out of cell phone range. I told him I was pretty confident this was another false alarm – I had already had a couple, and I still felt like Amelie’s debut was a while off.

I had a midwife visit later that day, so after dropping off Zoey at daycare, I decided to take myself out to breakfast and have a relaxing morning. After camping out at Bread Peddler for a couple of hours, I got a call from Zoey’s daycare that she still had a nasty cough (she had been fighting a cold for over a week). I went to pick her up, and since it was a beautiful day, we headed over to Percival Landing Park. She immediately climbed up on the merry-go-round and met a little girl at the top who was only a few months older than her. After a rapid-fire, unintelligible toddler conversation, they both climbed down, grabbed hands, and began racing down the boardwalk together. The girl’s mom and I looked at each other, smiled and shrugged, and began to follow.

After a lovely stroll down the boardwalk and a nice conversation, we ended up back at the park – and my good friend Shannon was there! After Zoey and Shannon’s son Liam played together for a bit, I started having contractions again – reminding me that my midwife appointment was in one hour and I had no one to watch Zoey. Shannon, wonderful person she is, said to bring Zoey to her house for lunch and a nap so that I could make it to my midwife visit and rest afterward.

Zoey settled in at Shannon’s house and I went to see Carolee. She asked how I had been feeling, and I said I’d been having a few contractions here and there, but was feeling so good and energetic that labor must still be a ways off. She stripped my membranes and checked my dilation (already at a 3!) and said I was not long for pregnancy anymore…I found out later that after I left, she told Constance, the other midwife at Around the Circle Midwifery, that I was going to be having my baby that night.

I went home and took a nap, and by the time I woke up, Ben and Zoey were home and my friend Meredith had come by for a visit with her kids. I began having weak contractions about 10 minutes apart and joked with Meredith that she might witness a birth if she hung around much longer! After Meredith and crew left, I told Ben he might want to call Micah to let him know he may need to pick up Zoey soon…but not to broadcast it because I wasn’t sure if this was another false alarm. We decided to finish up the landscaping border around the swingset because we knew it would be left unfinished for ages if we didn’t, so we worked between contractions and completed it. After another hour, the contractions were 7 minutes apart and beginning to hurt, so I told Ben, “Call Micah NOW.” We put on the Muppet Movie for distraction, and all of a sudden I began crying and told Ben “I don’t think I can do this. I’m not ready. I just want to do this at a hospital – I can’t handle another marathon labor.” Ben talked me down and told me all the reasons Zoey’s labor was so difficult: she was my first, she was posterior, and I had rotten sleep for a month before she arrived. I began to feel better about things. I then called my doula Kristyn, who suggested I get in a warm bath; if this was a false alarm, it would stop the contractions and I’d get some rest. However, by the time Micah arrived, contractions were four minutes apart….so he whisked Zoey away and Ben and I called the midwife. Carolee asked me if I could still talk through contractions and I said, “um….um….uhhhh…..” and she said, “You sound like someone who needs to come in now.”

We arrived at The Birth House around 8:30 pm. I had put on the TENS unit (mild electric stimulation device with electrodes on my lower back), and it was helping me deal with contractions beautifully. Between contractions it pulsed, and when I had a contraction, I pushed a button to deliver a stronger, steady current. It didn’t take the pain away, but provided very good distraction and forced me to relax. The doula arrived, and I spent a couple of hours bouncing on a yoga ball with her and Ben kneading my back muscles during contractions. I began to get really cranky and tired… at this point, Kristyn suggested we go walk up and down the stairs. I looked at her like she had just sprouted another head. But eventually, I agreed. She and Ben hauled me over to the stairs, and I climbed them sideways, two at a time. I was able to make it up and down three times, pausing at the bottom and clinging to the banister during contractions. I had begun doing a rhythmic singing to deal with contractions – “AHuhAHuhAHuhAH!” I told her I was too tired to do anymore, and she suggested I check in with Carolee.

Carolee and Becca (the student midwife) checked my progress, and I was at a 7, so they decided it was time to fill the tub. That damn tub could not fill fast enough. I labored bent over the side of the bed with my palms down on the mattress, and Kristyn and Ben pushed against my hips during contractions. When the tub was ready, I took the TENS unit off and got in the water – and found that the warm water was not nearly as effective as the electric stimulation. But was was much too tired to get out, dry off, and put it back on… so I lay back in Ben’s arms in the tub, and he squeezed my hands during contractions while Kristyn massaged one of my feet as hard as she could. At this point, Carolee inserted my saline lock, a precautionary measure since I’d had a postpartum hemorrhage with Zoey – they wanted to make sure I could get an IV immediately if needed.

I labored for a little over an hour this way, then they encouraged me to switch positions and kneel in the tub with my head resting on my arms over the side of the tub. Ben provided counterpressure on my back during contractions. For about 30-45 minutes, I labored this way, and when my voice started getting out of control, Carolee and Becca suggested I breathe more deeply and make a “motorboat” noise with my lips….and that if it felt good to bear down a bit, I should.

(At this point, I didn’t know we were already to the pushing stage and thought I still had hours to go. Zoey’s labor was 42 hours long. I didn’t know Amelie would arrive in just 15 more minutes.)

They encouraged me to switch back to the original position in the tub, and I was delirious – I kept saying “I don’t know….after the next contraction, maybe.” Eventually Ben and Kristyn simply rolled me back into place. Carolee told me to hold in my breath and use it to push during contractions – I then noticed her hair was in a ponytail, the birth assistant had arrived, Becca was shining a flashlight down into the water, and the silver bowl was out to place my placenta in. All of a sudden I had a huge surge of joy and energy and realized Amelie was almost here! I pushed as hard as I could, and after three contractions, Amelie’s head emerged – I expected Carolee to start supporting my tissue and to help pull Amelie out (Zoey’s emergence was a madhouse and looked like something out of Cirque du Soleil), but everyone just looked on, calm and expectant. When I pushed her all the way out, Becca scooped her out of the water and placed her on my chest… and the floodgates opened.

Amelie Juniper Matthews was born at 1:13 am. She weighed 7 lbs, 9.5 oz, and was 19.5 inches long.

I cannot express the gratitude I have for this experience and for this miracle of a child. This pregnancy was free from anxiety, heartburn, insomnia, and I was able to remain active and healthy throughout my third trimester. Active labor to birth was only 6 hours. The saline lock was unnecessary, and we were discharged to go home just four hours after Amelie’s birth.

I hadn’t realized how much trauma I had been carrying around from Zoey’s birth – the labor was long and the hospital trip was terrifying, even if it didn’t register at the time. Even pregnancy itself was scary, and I ended up at urgent care for anxiety just a week before her birth. This time, all I’m carrying around is an avalanche of gratitude for my midwives, my doula, my husband, Zoey, and for little Amelie.

I walked into this labor utterly terrified and left it feeling completely transformed….

I am finally healing.