On November 11, the relentlessly upbeat Transportation Security Administration (TSA) blog discussed the newly "enhanced" airport security pat-downs that would soon be coming to a groin near you. "It just makes good security sense," said TSA's "Blogger Bob." His commenters did not concur.

"The next time I fly, I'm wearing my trusty kilt," said one—and we're assuming that he's a true Scotsman.

This was an idea too good not to receive wider exposure (no pun intended), and it was naturally soon paired with the idea of a "National Opt-Out Day" to take place this week on November 24, the day before Thanksgiving. The idea is for a mass opt-out of the new AIT body scanners that can see through clothes, with participants choosing instead to have the more invasive pat-down.

The goal, as one website organizing the event put it, is for families to end up the next day "around the dinner table, eating turkey, talking about their experience—what constitutes an unreasonable search, how forceful of a pat down will we allow on certain areas of our body, and that of our children, and how much privacy are we will to give up for flying? We hope the experience then propels people to write their Member of Congress and the airlines to demand change."

But other groups are just as interested in humiliating the TSA agents doing an unpleasant job, hence the kilts. James Babb, a cofounder of We Won't Fly, encourages people to get a pat-down on November 24 and "wear the kilt. Leave your phone on record. You could be the next YouTube star. These (TSA) people need to be humiliated. What they are doing is inexcusable."

The Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg had a similar take: "It's a one-word idea: Kilts. Think about it—if you're a male, and you want to bollix-up the nonsensical airport security-industrial complex, one way to do so would be to wear a kilt. If nothing else, this will cause TSA employees to throw up their hands in disgust. If you want to go the extra extra mile, I suggest commando-style kilt-wearing. While it is probably illegal to fly without pants, I can't imagine that it's illegal to fly without underpants."

The idea here is that "opting-out saves you exposure to radiation, and allows a federal government employee to share in your humiliation." Fed-up TSA agents may join the public in demanding that this approach to security be scrapped, or at least modified.

The kilt-wearing idea has spawned a variety of even more inventive ways to humiliate the TSA, several involving excrement, bodily fluids, or Viagra, most of which sound unpleasant both for the patter and the pattee.

How the TSA handles a true Scotsman

Are these the sort of situations covered in TSA pat-down training? We hope so, if only for the sake of all those TSA agents who will face the kilt-wearing crowds this week. But TSA won't actually say how it handles a "true Scotsman" during a pat-down; we asked and were told that this is a "specific security procedure" and thus cannot be discussed.

So we went to Reddit instead. "You will be taken to a private area with a witness (another TSA of same gender or a police officer) and you will be given a plastic/paper sheet/blanket to hold around your legs, you will then be asked to lift your kilt to a certain height, still completely covered by the sheet you are given, and then the patdown will be performed," wrote one commenter, who may or may not have any idea what he's talking about.

While we're waiting for that first viral video of a kilted pat-down to make someone a star, TSA head John Pistole would like everyone involved in opt-out day to know just how "irresponsible" they're being.

"On the eve of a major national holiday and less than one year after al Qaida's failed attack last Christmas Day, it is irresponsible for a group to suggest travelers opt out of the very screening that may prevent an attack using non-metallic explosives," he said in statement sent to Ars. "After coming to TSA with 26 years of intelligence and law enforcement experience at the FBI, I understand the serious threats our nation faces and the security measures we must implement to thwart potential attacks. This technology is not only safe, it's vital to aviation security and a critical measure to thwart potential terrorist attacks."

Though given the TSA's penchant for trying to stop the last terrorist attack, we're more than a bit concerned about what happens when a miscreant decides to smuggle a plastic explosive onto a plane by stuffing it in a body cavity.

Listing image by Iwona Erskine-Kellie