A Toast to the Patron Chefs of British Cooking.

The table’s set, the silver gleams

The guests all seated while food steams

The glasses charged and dishes ready

For one more moment hold it steady -

Remember that we’ve some to thank

So lift your glasses still undrank

And offer up a heartfelt prayer

To those whose footsteps brought us here.

Chef Oliver, the kind and sweet

Please make my menu choices neat

Keep me from dubious fried foods

Make sure I eat all my greens too

Chef Nigella - make me half as hot

As you when you’re pouring a shot

Of rum into your chocolate cake;

Please, do it for my husband’s sake.

Chef Ramsey - before you yell please pause

I beg you’ll ignore my cooking flaws

Don’t curse me out for choosing wrong

My willpower just ain’t that strong.

And all of you, who heed food’s call

Who love the bizarre and the droll

I dare not leave him off the roll

Remember great Chef Blumenthal!

There’s one who never claimed the chef

Who came before and now is left

A cookbook legend in the mist

Was Mrs. Beaton’s greatest gift.

And now we settle down to eat

Remember those who cooked the meat

And brought us from our lowly ways:

Oh Chefs, here’s cheers! You’ve got our praise!