Unai Emery refused to rule out stripping Granit Xhaka of the Arsenal captaincy after the midfielder reacted angrily to fans during the 2-2 draw with Crystal Palace.

Xhaka was booed from the pitch when he was substituted in the 61st minute, shortly after Palace had equalised through Jordan Ayew. He walked straight down the tunnel and, cupping his ears to the crowd, appeared to mouth “fuck off”. Emery was firm in saying Xhaka had been out of order and said he would speak with the player before making any further decisions.

“He was wrong, he was wrong,” Emery said. “But I think now [we] stay calm and also speak with him, speak inside around that. His reaction was wrong. We are here because we have supporters. In football we are the workers inside [the pitch] but we play for them. We need to have respect for them when they are applauding us and also when they are criticising us.”

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Asked about Xhaka’s future suitability as captain, a role that was bestowed upon him on a full-time basis in September, Emery said he could offer nothing concrete until internal discussions had been held. This was not the first time the Emirates Stadium crowd had taken badly to Xhaka, who was also jeered off – albeit not to this extent – in the win against Aston Villa five weeks ago. “It’s not the moment to speak about that,” he said. “First I want to speak with him and speak with the club, and we want to stay calm.”

Much of Emery’s post-match energy was spent lamenting the VAR decisions that went against his team, awarding Crystal Palace a penalty and then disallowing what seemed a good late winner by Sokratis Papastathopoulos. He is a longtime advocate of the technology but frustrations have crept in of late, with Emery also feeling that Sokratis should have been given a spot-kick in the defeat at Sheffield United on Monday. “In our last [home league] match against Bournemouth we had a more clear penalty on [Nicolas] Pépé and they didn’t check,” he said. “Last week in Sheffield we deserved a clear penalty at 0-0, a very important moment, and they didn’t check.

“For me VAR is positive and we need VAR. But we need to manage it in the right way. At the moment for us I think it’s not working well.”

The Crystal Palace manager, Roy Hodgson, felt Arsenal’s second goal should have been subjected to a VAR check after a push by Alexandre Lacazette. Hodgson, though, felt the system “showed its true merits” when his team were correctly awarded a penalty after the video official overruled Martin Atkinson’s decision to book Wilfried Zaha for diving under a challenge from Calum Chambers.

“I thought the character and desire we’ve shown was really exceptional,” Hodgson said of Palace’s subsequent comeback.