Blindfolds and Beginners

Blindfolds are a surprising hit at the moment thanks to the currently viral Birdbox film. So while everyone is playing with the temporary deprivation of sight I, of course, think about how it can be used in bed.

Go figure.

So, let’s dig into the idea of blindfolds and sensory deprivation. I’ll just be discussing the more simple aspects of this particularly diverse kink as sensory deprivation can get to a fairly intense level. I will go ahead and give a general explanation of the concept before delving into the blindfolding basics.

What is Sensory Deprivation Anyway?

To keep it simple – sensory deprivation is when you deprive yourself (or your partner) of certain senses or alter the perception of the senses. In this case, blindfolding denies you from the sense of sight – allowing the blindfolded individual to experience a stronger perception of every touch and every rough breath in their ear. Other common sensory deprivations can include using headphones or earmuffs to deprive one of sound, or the use of gloves or a ‘vac-bed’ to deprive one of actual physical contact.

Kinky Blindfolding 101

As with every separate kink and potential fetish that you are interested in exploring, when you want a partner involved – you need to talk about it before you go trying it out on them without permission. You can even talk about it being a surprise in the future – but you should definitely talk about it and lay out your ground rules.

Maybe you’re interested in blindfolding your partner and teasing them until they’re ready to explode at the next feather light touch – but they’re not into the idea or would rather blindfold you instead. How awkward would it be to get the blindfold out mid-coitus and get a confused, angry, or upset face that kills the mood? I’ve heard some stories where things got messy in the wrong ways pretty quickly – so just get the idea out in the open and see where both of your interests are at. You’ll both get a lot more pleasure from the experience.

Once you’ve reached an agreement with your partner – about who the blindfold-er and blindfold-ee are, as well as what is allowed during the blindfolding (sweet or sinister play, use of toys, spanking, etc) and a safeword for when you need to stop – you’re ready to begin.

Additionally, talking about what you want while blindfolded can help you not feel awkward while trying it out the first time – plus your partner can get a better idea of what to do with you while you’re blindfolded. There’s nothing worse than getting worked up about something you have imagined – but not communicated – and having an unsatisfactory experience – all because you didn’t communicate what you wanted. Trust me – it’s way better to put your desires and expectations out on the table.

Sexy Scenario Starters

With a blindfold – you won’t know where your partner is going to touch you – or what they might touch you with.

They might:

drag their nails lightly across your increasingly sensitive skin

stroke you with a feather

dance or strip in your lap – only letting you feel what they want you to feel

reintroduce you to your favorite toy

And this is only the stuff that’s pretty basic in my perspective. You’ll have to read my book The Vanilla’s Guide to Kink once it’s finished to learn about the intermediate and hardcore levels because I’m pretty sure I won’t be allowed to post a lot of those details. I’ll link it as soon as I’ve wrapped it up and polished it for you!

Til next time – stay safe, sane, and consensual – Aza