This has been roaming around my head lately, so I thought I’d take a few minutes to have some fun and post it, in no particular order: The Top Ten Things We Learned from The Simpsons…

Never, EVER stop in the middle of a hoedown. The hole’s only natural enemy is the pile. You don’t win friends with salad. When the sign says “Do not feed the bears,” man, you’d better not feed the bears! Life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. Weaseling out of things is what separates man from the animals.

‘Cept the weasel. Vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. A zebu is like an ox except it has a hump and a dewlap. You’ll have a bad impression of New York if you only focus on the pimps and the C.H.U.D.s. When a woman says nothing’s wrong, that means everything’s wrong. And when a woman says everything’s wrong, that means everything’s wrong. And when a woman says something isn’t funny, you’d better not laugh your ass off.