OTTAWA – Principal Secretary to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and completely innocent man Gerald Butts has resigned citing no reason in particular.

The good-natured employee said that his strong ethics, sense of transparency and above-board political strategy had become a distraction in the eyes of the media.

“I have reluctantly accepted the resignation of Gerald Butts,” said the PM. “We have added another name to the long list of political staffers who resigned in the face of a pending investigation and went on to be remembered as just and virtuous.”

No eyebrows were raised about the unusual timing of his resignation, nor was the Liberal government’s reputation tarnished during his tenure with such accusations of obstruction of justice and back-door deals.

The employee, who was hired solely on his outstanding merits instead of a long friendship with the Prime Minister, thanked those who he worked with by reminding them he is completely innocent.

Butts is expected to attend his farewell office party before his subpoena.