The government can introduce thousands of laws against dowry, but the immortal truth is, more brides will be burnt and even more will kill themselves. Those who stay closer to the Ganges, will jump into its pious serenity and find eternal peace. Whatever closure these brides have chosen for themselves, they will embrace it. They have realized it at the cost of their lives - The dowry system is here to stay, it’s better that they leave.

Following an obligatory investigation, the charge sheet has been submitted. The case is now with the court. I can’t care less about the court’s verdict. I know they have neither traced the root cause of her death nor identified the real culprits. She didn’t hang herself, she was strangled to death. It was not her in-laws. It was her parents, my parents, our parents, who killed her.

On the day of Pag-Phera she confided in mom how all her jewelries and other monetary gifts were confiscated by her mother-in-law, she wasn’t left with a single penny. Mom handed her a bundle of 5000 rupees in exchange of a promise – don’t tell this to anyone… we are outsiders… they are your family from now… don’t bad-mouth your family, beta.

Two months into the wedding, she called up in the middle of the night, sobbing. Her husband insisted that our parents should reimburse the honeymoon expenses, 1.7 lacs. It was paid off within a day. Dad had to put mom’s gold against a loan to arrange the money.

Six months after the wedding, her husband’s F1 got approved. Her in-laws demanded that dad must pay for the tickets and the fees for her husband’s Master’s degree in some US University. She retaliated, but my mom talked dad into putting our house in mortgage and throw an amount of 13 lacs on their faces. I was stunned, they had refused to pay 60 thousand for her fashion designing course a year ago.

The last time she visited us her hand was badly burnt. By now she had given up on sharing anything with this deaf and mute couple she once called Ma-Baba. This couple had very conveniently disowned her in the guise of Kanyadaan. At the age of 5, she had fallen down from the swing, mom suddenly suffered an agitation, like she had already sensed the pain; she was in the park, mom was in the kitchen. Then why is it that she was sitting right in front of her, with bruises all over and mom was comfortable believing whatever lame excuses she was fabricating? They had loved her with all their hearts for 22 years, and then after a night of grandeur and magnificence, of finery and jewelry, of rituals and traditions, of vows and oaths, both their hearts turned drought dry and not even an ounce of compassion was left for her. Their memories had failed them, they no more recognized the girl as their own flesh and blood. She was no better than the rotten tooth they had once pulled out and flung into the trash can at the dentist’s.

Story continues

Dowry? It is a matter of the Stone Age. Dowry? It has been rendered illegal, no one gets involved in all those things anymore. Illegal? Well, so are murders, rapes, and honor killings. Site a day when you haven’t read about these in the newspaper, and I will show you the mirror, to demonstrate how a liar looks. Following the blind ambition of painting India with a progressive brush, you have shoveled all the ugliness under the carpet. If you illustrate the women in the AC cabins of MNCs, driving four wheelers, wearing western clothes as India’s recognition for its woman, you are living a lie, you are deceiving yourselves. To live in denial is easy, to face the forbidding truth is tough. Visit your nearest police station and inquire on the recent FIR registered for dowry death . You will lose a piece of your faith in the ‘progressive’ India you fancy.

This doesn’t happen in educated families? May be you can research a bit on the amount of dowry invested in acquiring an IAS son-in-law in UP and Bihar. In south the amount goes up to crores if the groom is a permanent resident of US. Work visa holders and grooms with IT or MBA degrees enjoy a specific range too.

However, I don’t look at the dowry system as an evil perpetuated by patriarchy. We can curse the men to our heart’s desire, but from where I look at it, we form a society where one woman is the greatest enemy of the next. Every single time, it was her mother-in-law who placed unrealistic demands, and our mother who arrange for them. The police have arrested her husband, mother-in-law and father-in-law. I am clueless why they didn’t take my parents away. My sister was standing at the edge, my parents pushed her down. They can cry all they want now.

(This confession was made to Avantika Debnath. You may share your story by sending a message here.)



Representational pic used from Yahoo database.