Was your "ex" violent and possessive? Did he drink too much? Was he emotional, unpredictable and prone to rages and anger management problems? When you tried to end the relationship did he threaten or stalk you? If you tried to date someone else did he intervene? Did you have to notify the authorities?

It is no coincidence that violent "exes" are so alike. There is a definite "domestic batterer" personality. The dark behavior begins with possessiveness and extreme suspicion and graduates into violence including violence against their partners' pets. Many domestic batterers say "you're never leaving me alive" and, despite orders of protection, their chilling prediction often comes through. No wonder one woman we know in New Orleans says the "best thing about my marriage was we didn't have children and we didn't have a handgun."