So you’re a young mom, maybe a new mom, afraid of doing it wrong? Of course you are. That’s perfectly normal. It makes you a good mom who cares deeply for her child. But let me give you some advice from a seasoned place of mothering for 23 years….

We’re all afraid of doing it wrong and that fear doesn’t really get better with age and you need to go ahead and settle the fact that you will do a lot wrong. That’s the bad news.

THE GOOD NEWS:

I can now tell you the stuff about “doing it wrong” that actually matters, so you can leave some stress behind.

Because see, even since I was a young mom, things have changed. For one, I didn’t have Facebook (or honestly even the Internet) to provide an inlet for every mother in the galaxy to tell me how not to do something or that I’m going to ruin my child if I do something else. That’s a lot of pressure.

I didn’t know, when I was a new mom, that bottle feeding would “cause attachment disorders” (it doesn’t, even though I absolutely, positively think breast feeding is better). I also didn’t know that circumcising my son would make me a “mutilator” or that if I fed my baby anything besides organic, soy free, gluten free real food she would probably not be OK (she is).

Co-sleeping? It wasn’t even talked about but now, according to studies, all my children would have been happier, smarter, more independent and healthier had we co-slept. (The pressure and guilt.) But I think my children are pretty happy, smart, independent and healthy.

Don’t use the wrong diapers. Don’t use diapers at all–infant potty train. Don’t let your child cry. Don’t pick him up if he cries. Feed him on a schedule. Definitely let him nurse on demand.

I’m afraid young mothers are buckling under the weight of all the do’s and don’ts of motherhood, forgetting some important things.

So if you’re a young mom, let me give you a few bits of wisdom I have learned:

Use you instincts. Instincts aren’t for nothing and I believe God gave us a fair share when it comes to caring for our offspring. If something doesn’t feel right to you, maybe it isn’t. Trust yourself more than you do.

Understand that a child well-loved knows it, despite your diaper choices or sleeping arrangements. Love trumps a lot of mistakes.

Be open to advice, but heed common sense. Remember that mothers have been doing this for centuries, without all the new-fangled gadgets and choices of our modern day. Millions of children have survived without that cover thingy that goes over the shopping cart handle. If “the right choice” were so important, it would have come with the baby. Probably, what comes naturally to you is the closest to being “the right thing.”

Relax, enjoy your baby, and stop reading so many books. Seriously. Except read books to him. That’s good.

In the end, you’ll have things you regret and things you’re glad you did. All mothers do. But focus on the big stuff. Love, stability, just being there (this one’s big), living Jesus. Try to enjoy your children and teach them life doesn’t revolve around them (for Heaven’s sake do them this one favor). Let them fall down and get germs and try to do things for themselves. Those are good things. Always protecting them is not always the best thing.

If you are a mother, you are equipped. And if you have questions, ask your mother, or better yet, your grandmother, before you run to the nearest parenting book on a method that will be outdated next year. Wisdom lasts and you can find it if you look for it. Be willing to be teachable and enjoy the journey.

You’ve got this.