Your goal is to grow so strong on the inside that nothing on the outside can affect your inner peace of mind without your conscious permission.

The ultimate measure of your wisdom and strength? How calm you are when facing any given situation. Yes, calmness is a human superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your thoughts clean and your heart at peace, which instantly gives you an upper hand regardless of your circumstances.

Thus, the biggest and most complex obstacle you will ever have to overcome is your own mind. If you can overcome that, you can overcome almost anything. And by “overcoming,” I’m referring to the skill of mindfulness, and learning to effectively control your emotional responses to life’s unexpected tests. Because most of your deepest pain and frustration on a daily basis will come from the way you respond, not the way life is.

Of course, being calm and mindful is easier said than done, especially when we’re under pressure in this day and age. High stress, relentless worry over work and life, and various forms of social anxiety are all a part of the modern way of being. Most of us just don’t feel any sense of peace or calm throughout the day, and are therefore depleted of energy and effectiveness in almost everything we do. I have to admit that Marc and I used to be exactly this way.

The good news is, we have since learned to focus our minds more resourcefully, and so can YOU. Our biggest breakthrough came about a decade ago when we started leveraging five-second daily reminders to keep ourselves thinking better and living better. The reminders simply reinforce the core daily actions and rituals we know we need to engage in to remain calm and in control from the inside out. Although Marc and I have shared many of these five-second reminders with readers in the past, the reminders are scattered throughout various blog posts, subscriber emails, and chapters of our brand new book. So, today I’m putting 31 of my personal favorites in one convenient place for you to reflect on.

Challenge yourself to pick the one new reminder every morning for the next month (roughly 31 days), write it down someplace you can easily see it (perhaps write it on a post-it note), and then consciously recite it (at least three times) as needed throughout the day. See how doing so prompts you to respond to life with a calmer and more effective mindset.

Calmness begins the moment you take a deep breath and choose not to allow another person or event to control your thoughts. You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose to become in this moment. Let go, and begin again. Happiness is letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to be like right now, and sincerely appreciating it for everything it is. So, RELAX. You are enough. You have enough. You do enough. Inhale, exhale… let go, and just live right now in the moment. Be here. Just right here. No matter what, you can always fight the battles of just today. It’s only when you add the infinite battles of yesterday and tomorrow that life gets overly complicated. Calmness does not mean to be in a place where there is no chaos, trouble, or hard realities to deal with. Calmness means to be in the midst of all those things and still remain mentally, emotionally, and physically centered. Be selective with your energy. If you can fix a problem, fix it. If you can’t, then accept it and change your thoughts about it. Whatever you do, don’t invest more energy than you need, tripping over something behind you… or something that only exists inside your head. When you are lost in worry, it is easy to mistake your worries for reality, instead of recognizing that they are just thoughts. Remember, you alone get to choose what matters and what doesn’t. The meaning of everything in your life has precisely the meaning you give it. Most of the time the problem is not the problem—the problem is the incredible amount of over-thinking and over-analyzing you’re doing with the problem. Pause, and breathe, again. Life humbles us gradually as we age. We realize how much nonsense we’ve wasted time on. So, just do your best right now to feel the peace that flows from your decision to rise above the petty drama that doesn’t really matter. What you focus on grows. Stop managing your time. Start managing your focus. Positivity is a choice. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. And remember, being positive doesn’t mean ignoring the negative, it means overcoming the negative. There’s a big difference between the two. Life is too short to argue and fight. Count your blessings, value the people you love, and move on from the drama with your head held high. Calmness among chaos is a human superpower. Give yourself that power. Focus mindfully on what truly matters. If you don’t like someone’s behavior, stay away, but don’t hurt them. Don’t be abusive and disrespectful. That’s a sign of weakness. In fact, the real test always comes when you don’t get what you expect from people. Will you react in anger? Or will calmness continue to be your superpower? (NOTE: Marc and I build mindful communication rituals with our students in the “Love and Relationships” module of the Getting Back to Happy course.) People are much nicer when they’re happier, which says a lot about people who aren’t very nice to you. Wish them well, and be on your way. Don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your expectations of others is the best way to avoid being disappointed by them. You will end up sadly disappointed if you expect people will always do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you. You won’t always be a priority to others, and that’s why you need to be a priority to yourself. Learn to respect yourself, take care of yourself, and become your own support system. Your needs matter. Start meeting them. Don’t wait on others to choose you. Choose yourself, today! START making your happiness a priority. START making your happiness a priority. Give yourself the space to listen to your own voice—your own soul. Too many people listen to the noise of the world and get lost in the crowd. Just breathe, be, and pay attention to what it’s like to be YOU. Nothing to fix. Nothing to change. Nowhere else to go. Just you, breathing, being, with presence, without judgment. You are welcome here. You belong here. Here, you are enough. Close your eyes. Breathe… Tell yourself, “I am ENOUGH!” anytime you begin to feel like you aren’t. What we do in life ultimately comes out of who we believe we are. Don’t compare your progress with that of others. We all need our own time to travel our own distance. Just focus on the step you are presently taking. It’s OK to be low-key about the step you’re taking today. You don’t need to put everything on social media. Silently progress and let your actions speak for themselves. A decade from now it won’t really matter what shoes you wore today, how your hair looked, or what brand of clothes you wore. What will matter is how you lived, how you loved, and what you learned along the way. Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to accomplish something big, that we fail to notice all the little things that give life its magic. Keep your eyes open for blessings in disguise. They are everywhere. And they are worth gathering into your awareness. Take life day by day and be grateful for the little things. Don’t get caught up in what you can’t control. Accept it and make the best of it. When you stop worrying about what you can’t control, you have more time to change the things you can control. And that changes everything in the long run. It’s not too late. You aren’t behind. You’re exactly where you need to be. Every step and experience is necessary. Think of all the hundreds and hundreds of little steps and missteps and chances and coincidences that have brought you here. In a way it feels like the biggest miracle in the world, doesn’t it? Keep this in mind, and meditate on the fact that you are a work in progress, and every great success requires some kind of struggle to get there. Forgive yourself for the bad decisions you made, for the times you lacked understanding, for the choices that hurt others and yourself. Forgive yourself, for being young and reckless. These are all vital lessons. And what matters most right now is your willingness to grow from them. Life changes every single second, and so can you. Every moment gives us a new beginning and a new ending. You literally get a second chance every second. Nothing is permanent. When you understand this, you can do almost anything you wish because you’re not trying to hold onto anything anymore. Let it sink in. It’s all about accepting what is, letting go of what was, and having faith in your journey. (NOTE: Marc and I guide our readers through this process in the “Letting Go” chapter of our brand new book.) It’s funny how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Life keeps leading us on journeys we would never go on if it were up to us. Don’t be afraid. Have faith. Find the lessons. Trust the journey. Head up, heart open. To more peaceful and productive moments approaching!

Calmness is ultimately your choice…

Yes, it’s your choice.

YOUR choice.

You are choosing right now.

And if you’re choosing…

to complain…

to blame…

to be stuck in the past…

to act like a victim…

to feel doubtful…

to feel anger…

to feel hate…

to be worried…

to ignore your own good judgment…

to ignore good advice…

to give up…

…then it’s time to choose differently.

But, let me also remind you that you are not alone. Generations of human beings in your family tree have chosen before you. Human beings around the world have chosen, too. We all have chosen at one time or another. And we stand behind you now whispering:

Choose to let go.

Choose to be present.

Choose to be positive.

Choose to forgive yourself.

Choose to forgive others.

Choose to see your value.

Choose to see the possibilities.

Choose to prove you’re not a victim.

Choose to breathe deeply.

Choose to find calmness within yourself, and make it your superpower today.

Your turn…

If you’re feeling up to it, we would love to hear from YOU.

Which reminder mentioned above resonates with you the most today, and why?

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

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