If anyone tries to argue with you by citing the opinions of the Founding Fathers, always reply: “Which one? They fought constantly, and one of them even got shot over a disagreement.” Afterwards, just stare at them.

(pretend I’m saying this to the rhythm of the opening number of Hamilton, and I sound almost as good as Lin Manuel-Miranda does.)

MY ARCH-NEMESIS:

How does a second child, son of two refugees

From Vietnam, born and raised in Oregon, in the ‘burbs of

Portland, with dreams of becoming a film artist, instead

Grow up to be an technical evangelist?

MY “VERY CLOSE” FRIEND:

He grew up thinking he was a genius with a tough father

Got a lot farther by workin’ a lot harder

By bein’ a lot smarter

By bein’ a self-starter

By eighteen, he enrolled in George Bush’s alma mater

MY LIFE-LONG FREMENY:

But every day in school, he struggled to keep his cool around

All the entitlement, but where was the enlightenment?

Inside, he was longing for something to be a part of

By the time he was finished, he was already diminished

SOMEONE WHO BETRAYS ME IN THE END:

Then a hurricane came, and devastation reigned

Our man saw his future drip, drippin’ down the drain

Opened all his social media, connected it to his brain

And he wrote his first refrain, a testament to his pain

MY ARCH-NEMESIS:

Well the word got around, they said, “This kid is insane!”

“Where does he get all the energy to drive these campaigns?”

“He’s all about education, doesn’t matter from whence you came.”

“The world’s gonna know your name! Hey, what’s your name?”

ME:

Al-LEE-xander NGO-milton

My name is A-LEE-xander NGO-milton

And there’s a million things I haven’t done

But just you wait, just you wait…

-Lee

(Should I keep going? This post took about two hours from idea to publish.)