FORT WAYNE, IN—Growing increasingly frustrated as he attempted to cast his vote in the midterm elections despite a severe lack of clarity and transparency, citizen Geoff Barnes admitted Tuesday that he was deeply confused by an obscure down-ballot measure to determine the senator for his district. “I don’t even know who these people are or what this ‘senator’ thing is supposed to be, but I hate to just guess,” said Barnes, visibly annoyed at the ballot’s lack of any explanation as to what exactly the measure comprised and the absence of any kind of key that might help him comprehend the (R) and (D) symbols appearing next to the accompanying names. “I hate how they sneak these little things in at the end without giving you any information. Obviously, I know what I want done for the major issues, such as the dog park initiative and the new water reclamation substation, but who knows about this piddly stuff. Honestly, it’s things like this that keep people from voting altogether.” Barnes ultimately decided to register his displeasure by writing in the pseudonym “Joe Donnelly” instead.

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