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Since this may help you with your Christophobia, but leave you wondering if it is adequate for your purposes, a parable from the Bible: A father had two sons that he wanted to go and work in his vineyard; he approached the first son, who said, "yes, father, i will go"- but he never went. The second son said, "no, father, i cannot go", but relented and went and worked in the vineyard. Which son did his father's will? This is known as the parable of the two sons.

The parable of the separation of the sheep and the goats, which you can read online, expands on this.

These concepts can be difficult to actually put into practice, especially at first; start with "fake it 'til you make it" if necessary, and understand that the benefit isn't always immediately apparent. What you will be doing is setting up a positive feedback loop; you will be radiating Life, and not affirming death. This is going to generate profound consequences, many visible, some not; the person that intentionally sent "death" your way in ignorance, expecting you to attempt to save face and reply in kind (by spouting more "death") is now lying awake, puzzling over how they received Life for death.

While God never condemns, He is perfect, and any imperfection separates from God. While this seems harsh, sin, any sin, = death, and must be paid for with death in a perfect world (where these things don't happen, even accidentally).You have felt this death, or diminishment, whenever someone put you down, rightly or not; and quite possibly you wanted to kill them at that moment. As you have surely experienced, even a "look" can be condemning. It can be said that you have accepted Christ when you refuse to perpetuate death, and overcome the gratuitous answer you feel they deserve; instead, answering from "love" (knowledge)(which is quite often just answering with silence). However, you are probably notable to act perfectly (demonstrate knowledge, show love, be the grown-up) to an offensive "neighbor"--who hasn't laid awake at night, reviewing how they might have acted differently in a certain situation?It's quite possible that you were having a bad day, and your neighbor was the one showing love! Even if you unintentionally belittled someone for your ego's sake (and who hasn't?), you now have a mechanism to wipe the slate clean, even if you aren't able to physically apologize (you'll never see them again, perhaps); to keep you from obsessively returning to it, night after night.When a mature person recognizes that they have caused some slight of another individual, they go apologize, which can be very hard to do; for a beginning understanding of this concept, if that's all you do, apologize to the air, you will once again have accomplished 9/10ths of the idea. If you are physically able to apologize, you must do this- until you do, you will even feel the death (diminishment) that only a sincere apology can release you from.You have Christ to thank for this ability to apologize, even if you are unable to do so physically, as the sentence for this sin is death, pronounced by you, in a spiritual way, upon yourself! Understand that acceptance of Christ is partly just accepting that since you have (already) been forgiven, you must show forgiveness.