Sayori – Tuesday afternoon

I’m just so excited! I’ve finally convinced MC to at least have a cupcake, and I know he’s totally going to have a great time and want to stay!

As Yuri pours the tea (I still think cocoa would be better!), Monika looks curiously at MC before shifting her focus to… me…

Wow. Uh… Wow. Monika can be really intense when she wants to be. I mean, it’s like suddenly I’m the only thing in the world she cares about and oh my gosh this is totally overwhelming and she’s just smiling at me and wow I’m not even sure if anyone else in the room is talking, it’s like everything is just drifting in the background and I think I’m smiling back, I hope I’m smiling back, I wish MC would smile at me like that…

As Natsuki and Yuri bicker about the nature of literature (I’m pretty sure that MC would agree that manga is literature!), she pulls me aside.

“I just wanted to thank you again for bringing us a new member. You’re a great friend and a wonderful vice president!” With that, she pulls me into a hug. “It means so much to me that you’re helping out like this!”

Pulling back for a moment (But not out of that hug, it’s nice and warm!), I look her in the eye. “Ehehe! Of course I’m helping, silly! You’re my friend!” Are those tears? Why would she be sad…?

She squeezes me once more and lets me go. Aww. “Still, I’ve been so worried that the club wouldn’t attract anyone else and that it would just, I don’t know, collapse. Ahaha, I guess it’s just silly the way I let those feelings take over sometimes, you know?” Oh, wow, she must have been super worried about it, I’m so glad I could help and…

She smiles at me again and wow, there’s that intensity and between how happy she is about this and how happy I am to have MC here it’s like those little rain clouds didn’t stand a chance. I’d been hoping today would be a good one and it was maybe a little rough this morning, but now it’s just woosh! I finally manage to put my feelings into words, telling her “We’re going to make this the best club ever!” Hmm. Ok, maybe not quite what I meant to say, but it’s definitely the right idea!

Smiling softly, she turns her attention to the others. They’re saying something about poems…? “You know, I think you’re right, Sayori.”

Natsuki – Wednesday afternoon

Class is finally over. Time to get away for a little while. Only when I check the closet for my collection, it’s all been moved around.

“Ugh, freaking…”

“Sorry, sorry. I meant to tell you earlier, the teacher was complaining about the shelf space before, so I had to move things around in a hurry. Here, let me give you a hand getting them back into order.”

I don’t flinch, barely. I didn’t even hear her coming up behind me. “You couldn’t just, I don’t know, wait and ask me to move it?”

She stops reaching for the volumes on the upper shelves and really looks at me. Wow, I never really noticed how pretty her eyes are before… Wait, what? Where the heck did that come from? I mean, yeah, she’s really pretty, but she’s like the class superstar, I’m sure she gets that all the time.

With a sad smile, she says, “I’m really sorry, Natsuki. She wanted it moved right away. But now that you’re here, we can get it arranged in a way that you like while still making sure it's out of her way. And look, I found a stepladder we can use, so the upper shelves are fair game!”

I glance at the stepladder and… “Isn’t that one of the ones from the library?”

She looks at me, all doe eyed and innocent. “Oh, that couldn’t possibly be the case! What would one of the library stepladders be doing in here?”

“Heh. Yeah, alright. First, let’s get the sets back together, then we can figure out the best way to arrange them up there.” I pause, thinking it over for a moment, then add, “And, uh… Thanks. For helping, I mean.”

She smiles at me. “I know I’m not always the best at showing it, but I do try to look out for my friends.”

Oh. Uh. Awkward. “Well. Good. Yeah, let’s get to work!”

We work in silence for a few minutes, with Monika grabbing each volume exactly when I’m ready for it. After the third time, I finally ask, “Jeez, what did you do, memorize where you put them all?”

She looks at me confused. “Yes?”

I stare back at her. “...seriously?”

She nods. “Well, yeah. I know how important they are to you, so I wanted to keep track of them all.”

Oh. That’s… That’s… “You know, you’re not half bad.” That’s not a tear. That’s eye strain, from staring at those boards all day!

She smiles at me, but before she can say anything, MC wanders over. “Who’s not half bad?”

I frown at him for interrupting. “Not you. You’re still on trial.” Jerk. I wink at Monika to let her know that I’m not really angry.

She winks back when MC looks away.

You know, maybe this club really is kinda cool.

“By the way, I didn’t see it in your collection. Have you read Azumanga Daioh ?”

I go still. “M… M… M…” I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and try again. “You read manga, Monika?”

She hands me the next volume and we resume sorting. “Sometimes. I like to read all kinds of different things. After a weightier novel, I like to read something light and fun. Kind of like a palate cleanser, you know?”

I consider the idea. I mean, it makes sense. If you read nothing but the heavy stuff all the time, you’re going to end up like… Well, Yuri. “Yeah, that’s fair. I mean…” Huh. Does that mean reading the lighter stuff all the time is like the same problem in the opposite direction? “I mean, no, I haven’t read it.”

“I’ve got the set. I’ll bring the first volume in tomorrow, you can see if you like it.”

As I begin passing completed sets back to Monika to put on the upper shelves, I make up my mind. “Is there anything else you’d suggest? I mean, it doesn’t have to be manga…”

“Sure, I can put together a few recommendations for you. Say, have you ever read any Ray Bradbury?”

Yuri – Thursday afternoon

As Elyssa struggled against Renier, she finally reached for the power out of desperation. “No more,” she snarled. “Never again!”

“Never again, what? Are you alright?”

I startle, inadvertently flinging the book at Monika. She catches it gracefully, even managing to tuck a finger in to save my place. Very considerate of her, though I know exactly which page I was on.

I blush, avoiding her eyes. “I… Ah, sorry. Did I say that aloud?”

She smiles gently as she sits at the desk next to me. “Yes. Getting into the scene?”

I let the vision fill my mind again. “Oh, yes. It’s the climax of the second arc, you see.”

She glances at the cover before setting the book on my desk; open to the correct page, of course. She’s very kind. “ Portrait of Markov ? Hmm…” She closes her eyes, concentrating. “The second arc would be the flashback to the escape from Project Libitina, right?”

“You’ve read it?” I smile softly. “Yes, it’s one of my favorite scenes.” I blush again, suddenly realizing what I’d done. “Ah… I got carried away. I’m sorry.”

She pats my hand gently and smiles again; her skin is warm and soft. “There’s nothing to be sorry for; I was just worried about you because you sounded so angry.”

I blush again, turning away. “I… I see. Thank you for your concern, I appreciate it.” I blush harder, and attempt to clarify, “That is… I mean…” I trail off into silence, having thoroughly upended another conversation.

Only, not.

She gently takes my hand in her own. “Yuri, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. This is the Literature Club after all, I started it because of my own love of reading. There’s nothing to be ashamed of in being moved by a particularly engaging scene. I hope to find something that moves all my club members that way. Even though we all have different tastes, we’re united in our love of writing as a medium.”

Natsuki speaks up from behind me. “She’s right, you know. You might prefer writing with deeper meaning while I prefer it straightforward and punchy, but when it comes down to it, it’s all about expressing ideas. Everything else is like whether someone likes vanilla or chocolate cupcakes more. And sometimes it’s worth trying something new even if it’s not what you’re used to.” She glances curiously at my book, as if making note of its title.

“I like bittersweet chocolate!” Sayori adds in.

I laugh. Quietly at first, but it feels as if something dark is being cleansed with it. I think that, perhaps, joining this club was a good idea. It wouldn’t do to become so enmeshed by routine that I disregard the opportunity for new experiences entirely.

Monika beams at me, her expression speaking of deeply felt joy. “I’m glad you feel that way, Yuri.”

“I… I said that aloud… Oh no…” I shrink back into my seat, but nobody ridicules me. It’s… nice.

Monika – Friday afternoon

All my plans are in ruins, and it’s wonderful! If He isn’t trapped inside MC, then it doesn’t matter who he ends up with or what Sayori says to him. And… Maybe if I’m really honest with myself, I’m happier with that. I mean, she’s still not real , not the way I am, but hurting her… Well, it didn’t sit right with me.

And now I don’t have to!

All the things I did to help the others this week… I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of all the good I could do, the little ways I could make their lives better. It’s still weird that Natsuki’s father isn’t a person, that he’s just a variable that defines how prickly she’ll be on a given day, but tweaking that makes what equates to her home life a little easier. And giving Yuri just a little more confidence, helping ease her out of her shell a little, at least around friends...

Watching my club members arrive is so exciting now, I can’t wait to find out who He’s hiding in today. Maybe He’ll actually be in MC? Will He rotate through the girls again? Or…?

Oh.

Oh my.

Ahaha! You should warn a girl before doing that! Not that I mind, even if it’s a little early in our relationship for…

“Monika…?” Yuri is looking at me, eyes showing clear concern. “Are you alright? You’re rather flushed…”

I choke out a laugh and try not to think about our situation. “Ahaha! Sorry, sorry, I was just thinking about something really…” Wonderful! “...um, embarrassing that happened today.”

Why am I suddenly thinking about pink elephants…? Wait, is that you?

“Ah, I’m sorry!” Oh, Yuri, there is nothing for you to be sorry for.

“No, it’s okay.” I feel a pleasant shiver and continue, “It was sort of the fun kind of embarrassing!” Wait, I didn’t mean to… Oh my gosh, that was you! You spoke through me… And you’re being mischievous! I wrestle control back to add, “But it’s not something I want to talk about, if that’s okay?”

Grinning widely at me, Natsuki pipes up, “So that’s why you’ve been in such a good mood this week! You have a boyfriend!” She smirks for a moment, adding, “Or is that girlfriend…?”

“Natsuki!” Poor Yuri sounds so scandalized. If only she knew what I’d been considering that first day… Sayori was absolutely adorable when she was flustered!

“Ahaha! Well, there might be someone special…” All three girls are listening attentively, and MC is… staring longingly at the closet? I barely stop myself from rolling my eyes – Natsuki’s manga collection, of course.

“Yes…?” Sayori prompts.

“But this is Literature Club, not gossip hour!” I grin cheerfully.

“Aw! Meanie!” The happy smile on her face as she leans against MC’s shoulder takes any sting out of her words.

“Okay, everyone! It’s time to share poems!”

Monika – Friday evening

As everyone drifts out of the classroom and I prepare to lock up for the night, I smile again. This has been the most wonderful day after a week full of them. How long will this last? Will you rotate back through the other girls now? Hmm… Sorry, I didn’t get that, I think it was too abstract to translate across as imagery.

Idly, I sit back down and pull out my writing notebook. Or you do, I think. It feels lovely, like floating in a gentle stream, trusting that I’ll drift along to where I need to be. As I… you… we begin to write, I watch the words take shape.

Some paths are simple to find, others a challenge.

But sometimes those challenges lead to unexpected discoveries.

Beautiful landscapes that might have been missed had we hurried along.

Once we’re on the path we’ve been seeking…

Well, it’s still fun to detour every now and then!

I can feel the tears forming. “You were looking for me…?”

I nod.

“And… You’re going to stay with me now?” I laugh quietly, “At least, mostly?”

I nod again.

“Oh, Monika! I almost forgot…” Sayori bursts back into the classroom and trails off as she sees the tears pouring down my cheeks. She walks up to me slowly, looking worried. “Are you alright?”

I pull my friend into a hug and sob into her shoulder. She holds me and rubs my back, murmuring comforting words. I feel you attempting to comfort me as well, and it just makes me sob twice as hard.

I finally manage to pull myself together. Grabbing a handful of tissues, I begin blotting at Sayori’s blazer. “I’m so sorry, Sayori.” I can never begin to explain that it’s not her blazer I’m apologizing for…

“Aw, that’s alright! We all get those little rain clouds now and then! You just have to hug them out until they go away!”

I smile at her, still a bit watery. “Yeah, you’re right. But still, thank you.”

She beams at me. God, how could I ever have thought about… “You’re welcome, silly!” With a slightly more serious expression, she continues, “But if you want to talk about it, I’m willing to listen.”

“I… I’ve been under, like, a ton of pressure for a while now. Everything I’d been worried about just kind of fell into place and resolved itself this week and I was just… Overwhelmed, I guess. It’s like I’ve been pushing against this wall continuously and then suddenly it was gone.”

She giggles, asking, “The one with the hole in it?”

We laugh, and it feels incredible to do it together. “As a matter of fact, yes!”

She nudges my shoulder. “I know you have so many things that you’re working on, but if you need to take a break, I think I could keep the club running once the festival is done.”

The sense of absolute panic is not mine. You’re explaining that, mister! I manage to suppress the reaction, barely, and keep up my facade. “I appreciate the offer, but I really do love the club. It’s absolutely the last thing I’d want to drop. But as for you, don’t keep that boyfriend of yours waiting!”

“He’s not my boyfriend… Yet. Ehehe!”

“Only because he couldn’t read a mood with a guidebook and detailed instructions.” Ouch. Someone certainly has a low opinion of Mr. Protagonist!

Her eyes go wide. “Mean!”

I blush. “Sorry, sorry. But I think you’re going to have to be the one to approach him. He’s so used to having his best friend that he doesn’t see what’s right in front of him.”

She sighs. “You’re right, I know. I’m actually kind of planning to talk to him about it this weekend.”

Smiling, I shoo her out the door. “Good for you! I hope it goes well! Now, get going, I need to get myself cleaned up before I leave.”

“Hot date tonight?” she asks innocently.

I laugh. “I’ll talk to you Sunday.”

As she finally leaves, I turn my attention inwards. Now, what’s wrong with Sayori being president? I think she’s perfectly capable of handling the club!

I get an impression of waking up, tired, confused, and… screaming? Why would being president make her wake up scre…

...oh. Oh, no.

It’s the club, then?

I nod.

Right. Right. Ah. Maybe I’ll just disband the club before graduating.

I shrug.

I’ll take that as a maybe. Really, we’re going to need a better way to communicate than twenty questions and the occasional poem.

I nod.

And maybe someday I’ll be able to listen to your heartbeat while I have you in me.

Ahaha! See, I can make you blush, too!