Chapter Text

Monday, January 8

Jack

The sound of a foghorn blared directly into my ears from right beside me, jolting me awake.

Ugh.

I had a special alarm that I used for days when I had to get up earlier than usual. It was extra obnoxious , and I’d stuffed a very small wireless Bluetooth speaker inside the pillow to make sure I heard it (and couldn’t easily turn it off without getting up), which, I’d found, helped me drag my ass out of bed on early mornings.



Monika was a little less amused. “Ughhhhhh… really, babe? Really? ”

“It worked, didn’t it?”



“Punching me in the face would have worked too. Probably less painful.”

“Oh, shut up,” I groaned. “I’m gonna go hop in the bathroom and get ready. Why don’t you go nurse your addiction or something?”

“Oh, what ever .” She leaned over and kissed me. “See ya in a bit.”

That was never gonna get old.

I plodded into the bathroom, heated up the shower, disrobed, and hopped in. Came out of the bathroom to get my work clothes on about thirty minutes later, only to see Monika leaning against the door frame from the bedroom. I jumped back a little in surprise.

“Ahahahaha! Don’t mind me, I’m just going sightseeing,” she said with a snicker, visibly eyeing me up and down.

“You are the worst. The actual worst.”

“As if you don’t sneak peeks at me whenever you think I’m not looking, Mister ‘I look up porn of my girlfriend!’ ”

“Guilty as charged. Well, mostly. I don’t need to do that second bit any more, y’know. Because. Uh. Turns out the real deal is way hotter than anybody could have guessed.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere, babe, ahahaha~”



“ Every where?” I said, with a lecherous grin.

“Hush, you. Now get your butt out of the way so I can get in there. There’s eggs on the counter.”

I sidestepped and went to move past her, but a thought, or maybe you’d call it an urge, struck me as I did. I reached down to give her butt a squeeze as I slid past, only to have my arm slam right into hers. Wait. Was she about to do the same thing to me? We both stopped cold with the realization, before leaning into each other and doubling over laughing.

“Oh my God, Monika, never change,” I guffawed.

“...fine, but you’re responsible for the stares and the frostbite I get for going out in public in my underwear today.”

“ Not like that! ”

“Ahahaha~! I loooove you, hon!”

“Yeah, yeah, love you too. Less stealing my dad joke gimmick, more getting cleaned up.” I pecked her cheek and moved into the other room.

You know, Monika makes pretty good eggs. Not that it’s easy to screw them up, but she had - has - a natural taste for the right spices to throw in.



Breakfast put away, I rinsed off the dishes and then got myself dressed. The usual winter wear, a good-looking sweater (red this time), black slacks, and a set of longjohn bottoms under the slacks because slacks are thin and wind chill is a thing in Pennsylvania this time of year. We might not be as bad as New England proper or the upper Midwest, or, God help them, those poor hosers across the border in Canada, but wind chills below zero degrees (freedom units, not centigrade) weren’t uncommon and today was no exception.

While I waited for Monika to finish, well, whatever it is that women do for like an hour every morning , I threw together a little driving playlist for us. Not an actual playlist, because trust me, I’m shite at mixing and matching up songs in sequence, but something I could throw on shuffle. Just some of my favorites. Good singalong material. Plus, the music made for a decent distraction from the absolute racket coming from next door - otherwise known as Monika wrecking my bathroom prepping for her freaking Rapunzel ‘do.

The laptop was running a little slow for whatever reason, so it took a bit longer to put together in iTunes than I’d have liked, but it did give me a good way to kill time until Monika emerged from the bedroom. Fully-clothed, an obnoxious-but-ever-present part of me noted sadly. The rest of me, though...

“How do I look?”

My God. Press F to pay respects for my brain.

Monika came out wrapped in a (comfy-looking but absolutely stunning on her) collared, red, long-sleeved, loose-fitting knee-length knitted dress, paired with a set of fleece-lined leggings - I’d insisted she get at least one pair: “Trust me, it gets colder than you think around here!” - and a pretty damn cute pair of short-heeled ankle boots. Naturally, her makeup was absolutely flawless. Very subtle, but paired perfectly with a shade of lipstick that matched her dress, which, as I understand it, is not always an easy thing to pull off, but by God she did it. Well, good to know the beauty budget when we went shopping is going to a good cause.

And her hair! Monika’d spent the better part of Sunday wrapping her hair up around strips of cloth and doing all sorts of other arcane shenanigans (as far as I was concerned anyway, me of the “if it doesn’t stay down and in place with a comb, it’s time for a haircut” variety) in preparation. But oh boy did it pay off today; she was sporting a beautiful full head of curls that she’d brushed out into a jaw-dropping nearly-knee-length wavy style. I mean, I already knew her hair was long, but I’d never seen it fully let down and done up. Down for bed, sure, but… oh man . Combined with the natural splendor that her locks already had...

It occurred to me that I’d never actually seen Monika dressed up. The past week and a half - wow, it’s been that long already? - she hadn’t gotten to get out much, other than her lunch with Lia, and while I’d gotten to see her look for that, she’d dressed a lot more casually. Meanwhile, inside, she was all about the jeans-and-sweats life, as a practical consideration for the temperature, or occasionally significantly less dressed . But all dolled up with perfect hair in a good dress and heels? Totally new.

In short, for the second time with my girlfriend, I was at Illidan Stormrage levels of not prepared . Like, this beat finding her in lingerie in my bed the other night. (Which, now that I think about it, makes me feel a little less like a total horndog and a little more respectable.)

I sputtered. “I, uh, well, I, um, I…”

“...oh dear,” she giggled. “Maybe I should tone it down a bit, aha...~”

“No, no, no, don’t. You’re… Jesus Christ, you’re perfect. I should find an excuse to get you dressed up more often, if anything.”



Monika blushed. “You really think so? I wanted to look nice for the appointment tonight.”

(I didn’t have the heart to tell her that when I’d last been seeing Doc Leo, I was usually in a tee and gym shorts. Because high school me had negative fashion sense and wouldn’t have cared even if he had.)

I got up out of my chair, walked over to her, and took her hand. “I’ve never seen anything as beautiful in my life. You look wonderful.” She let go of my hand and wrapped her arms around me. Perfection .

In those shoes, I noted, she was as tall as I was, which was an interesting experience. Not an unpleasant one, though. Not having to bend over, stretch, or deadlift to kiss was severely underrated, as I discovered.

“Never change, Jack,” she said with a cheeky grin on her lips.

I winked at her. “I think you might start to complain.”

“Hey, don’t steal my jokes! Ahahaha~... anyway, you ready to get out of here?”

“Yeah, grab the laptop, I’ll get the elevator. Don’t forget a coat, it’s freaking cold .” I pulled away from Monika, reluctantly, then threw a coat on and walked out into the hall and smacked the button. Miraculously the elevator was already on our floor, so I ended up stepping inside and looking rather stupid mashing the DOOR OPEN button while I waited.

A few moments later, Monika walked up and went to join me, before stopping in the open door with a curious but amused expression. “Did you happen to notice we match?”

“We do?” I looked Monika up and down again - not that I needed an excuse to do that - before giving myself a once-over. Brown hair, red dress, black leggings, black shoes, and brown hair, red sweater, black slacks, black shoes... the only difference is the white parka on her against my black sport coat. “Huh. I guess we do!” She stepped inside and I sent the elevator on its way down.

“I totally didn’t intend that, but I guess that means we really are on the same wavelength, huh?”

“Well, if everyone didn’t know we were a thing already…” I chuckled.

“Hmm, I don’t know if they do… let me just make sure ….” Without warning, Monika grabbed my arm and looped hers through it, leaning against me warmly.

Oh my God she’s the cutest thing on the planet , I thought.

“Oh my God you’re the cutest thing on the planet,” I said.

Monika giggled.

##################################################

The elevator opened at the ground floor, and we made our way outside into the incredibly chilly early Pennsylvania morning; the sun hadn’t even broken the horizon yet. The wind chill was absolutely brutal, like we’d imported it straight from Siberia or something. I pulled out my phone and glanced at the weather app. Wind advisory in effect, measured winds of thirty miles per hour from the north. Absolute temperature, five degrees Fahrenheit, wind chill, negative nineteen. Yep, it’s winter alright. Oof, it’s a little nippy out here even for my tastes. Monika’s response was to throw her hair around the front, immediately put her hood up, and sprint for the car, frantically yanking at the door handle before I had the presence of mind to hit the keyfob and let her in.

“R-remind me what th-the p-plan is today?” Monika asked as she hopped in the passenger’s seat, her teeth dropping a beat so fast Eminem couldn’t rap to it.

“Well… assuming you don’t die of frostbite on me….” She looked over at me and glared. I just reached over and rubbed her shoulder with one hand and fired up the car with the other. “Hey, this is about as bad as it gets around here. ‘f you can make it through this, you can make it through anything.”

“Yeah, w-well, all the same, winter can’t be over f-fast enough.”

“You say that, but it’s a million times better than the humidity in the summer. Trust me on that.” I pulled out of the parking lot. “So, today, I’m gonna drop you off at the Panera Bread right up the street. There’s a big bookstore right there too, plus a Starbucks the next block over because this is Harrisburg of course there’s like a billion of them . I know the girl running manager on Mondays at the Panera, she won’t have you thrown out for loitering or anything so just say my name-” Heisenberg! my brain cut in “-and you can hole up there with the laptop when you’re done book shopping. Chill there, or walk around or something if you can stand the cold, do whatever, I’ll come down and eat lunch with you, then I’ll finish the day out, come pick you up, and then we’re off to Hanover.”

“And w-we’re doing this w-why again?” she chattered.

“Because I-83 traffic at rush hour can get absolutely bonkers, so I don’t want to take any chances that there’s an accident at the split or something and they shut down both lanes and then we end up getting there late.” Monika nodded jerkily. “So, this way, I can just grab you on the way out the door, get right to the car, and go, instead of driving back to the apartment. Honestly, an accident’s probably not gonna happen, but it definitely happened to me once and I’m not having it again, you know? Plus, if we’re early, then that just gives us time to get dinner before we get out instead of after and then we get to get home at a reasonable time.”

It got quiet for a little bit. The car finally warmed up enough that the air coming out of the vents didn’t feel like it was being sourced straight from the North Pole; my girlfriend’s shivering finally started to subside. Poor girl, definitely not a winter person. Or at least, not my kind of winter person. Guess there had to be some incompatibilities.

Monika broke the silence. “Jack, when’s it going to get warm enough that I can go outside and run or something?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve been trying to get out and just run around the block a little bit to keep myself in shape, you know. I get that you just go for an hour or two a day every couple days in the pool on account of your injury and such, but I need more than that. I’m used to going for a run every day - or, well, that’s what my memory’s telling me I’m used to, and I’m feeling it.”



“But you can’t because it’s way too cold most days, right?”

“Yeah. I tried once anyway. I really regretted that, ahaha… but I mean, I have been able to a couple of times when it got really warm. Just not often enough, you know?”

I thought about it. “I get it. Probably March or April, I’d say, when it’ll be warm enough to go out consistently .”

An oppressive silence ruled in the car for a while.

We came to a stoplight, and I leaned over and wrapped an arm around her. “It’s okay. We’ll think of something, I promise. I know you don’t wanna just sit inside all day.” In truth, I already had , and was kicking myself for not realizing this was gonna be a problem sooner, but that could come later.

The seatbelt got in the way a little, but she leaned into me as much as she could manage. “Thanks. It’d really mean a lot to me.” She turned her head and looked up at me, her face taking on a bit of a cheeky grin. “Besides, it’s your funeral if I end up letting myself go a bit. You know how much I like being on top….”

“Fucking Hell, Monika!” I gaped. Monika just giggled, and I shook my head. The stoplight turned green, and she sat back up.

“For your information , I’ll still be into you no matter what,” I admonished her. “Even if I have to get a titanium hip…” I paused for effect. “ Buuuut this is about you, not me.”

“Why not both?” she asked with a lilt. “By the way… no offense, but you’re not quite as, ah, clever as you think you are.”

“Say what now?” I said, resisting the urge to look at Monika’s face for a clue, considering I was driving in morning capital traffic.

“You’re awful at hiding things from me. I can tell you’re planning something already! Not that I’m objecting or trying to spoil the fun or anything, just… you’re really bad at hiding surprises! Ahahaha…” She laughed, loudly, before taking a sip of coffee.

We came to another red light and I turned to glare at her with mock outrage.

“Hey,” she said reassuringly, “I can still pretend to be surprised, if it’ll make you feel better!” Monika leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“You’re the worst . The absolute worst! ” I sputtered.

“I loooooove you!” she sing-songed back.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, love you too, babe.”

The light changed, and I pulled us forward a short way and then into my usual parking garage and up a few levels until I found a parking spot. “We’re here, Monika. Ready for the cold again?”



“Not even a little bit. Ugh. Can it be summer yet?”

“Nnnnnnope. Leggo.” I hopped out, immediately taking a blast of freezing cold right to the face; fortunately, at least we were sort of inside, so the wind wasn’t there to make it worse, but I still had to admit it was definitely colder than I was comfortable with. I ran around to the other side and yanked Monika’s door open (what? I’ve got a gentlemanly streak going!) before taking her hand and pulling her up and out of the car.

“...God, you’re beautiful,” I couldn’t help but say after I got her up to her feet.

“ Less gawking, more walking! It’s way too cold out here! ”

“Noted!” I grabbed her hand and took off at a jog for the elevator down… which had a maintenance sign chained across the door. Because of course. Okay, stairs, then. Still hanging onto Monika’s hand, I bounded down the stairs as quickly as we could manage and out into the still freezing cold Pennsylvania morning.

“Ohshitcold! ” I heard Monika sputter out under her breath.

“ Yesitis! This way!” And with that I yanked her probably a little too roughly off in the direction of the cafe as I broke into what I’d call a three-quarters-run for about an eighth of a mile up the street. This was partially because of how cold it was, and partially because most everyone else on the sidewalk was doing more or less the same thing to get where they were going and thus out of the wind … so, also because of how cold it was. We only slowed our pace once , when Monika nearly tripped on a grate because heels . Wait, she ran this whole way in (admittedly short) heels without complaining. My girlfriend is powerful .

The two of us piled through the glass doors at warp speed before making our way over to a table to catch our breath. I managed to gasp out a couple of sentences. “Don’t… don’t judge me too hard for this, hon, but... that’s the most I’ve run since high school. I’m… uh... gonna be dead for about five minutes.” Not that I didn’t exercise, mind you, but mostly I swam for cardio. Easier on the back than all the impacts from running, and I happily milked that for an excuse all the way to the bank because to be honest I never liked running in the first place.

“Oh, we’ll have to change that…” Monika said with a dangerous grin. She was a lot less winded than I was. Yep, definitely in way better shape than me. Better flip the subject fast before she gets any ideas…

“Okay. I gotta get to the office ASAP. Lot of stuff to get done to day. Bookstore’s right next door…” I handed her my card. It wasn’t likely that she’d get mugged or anything here of all places, but if she was, better that than handing her a wad of cash. “So go nuts, but not too nuts. I figure you’d be the kind of person to like having hard copies of books, right? Anyway, if you need anything, you have my number, and if you really, really need something, you know, something creeping you out and you need a safe place to go, the Department of Environmental Protection building is four blocks down on this side of the street. You can’t miss it. Just go in and…”

“Jack.”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll be fine .” Monika smiled warmly at me and cupped my face in her hands. “You worry too much.”

“...Okay,” I said after a moment. I felt myself blushing at her touch. Goddammit, I can’t hold these feels.

“You sure you don’t want to stay and have a little snack with me before you go?” she asked, with another knowing grin.

I returned the expression and made an exaggerated show of pulling out my phone to check the time (five past eight, as it turned out). “Well, since you’re asking, okay. I think I can make time…”



A cup of nice, hot oatmeal for each of us later, and I reluctantly kissed her goodbye before stepping out, again , into an inhumanly cold winter morning. The barely-risen sun was up just high enough to project a beautiful but harsh and stark orange shine, painful to the eye, onto the glass and polished stone faces of the high-rise offices of downtown Harrisburg; granted, we were on the very edge of downtown, but that didn’t cut down on the glare. It was fitting, really - much like the cold and the wind, it was lovely to imagine, for someone attracted that aesthetic anyway (like me!), but being out in it was a different matter entirely.

I clipped along at a fast walk to the office building where I worked. I wasn’t in a hurry, mind you - I didn’t actually need to be in the office until 8:30 - but, again, cold . I made my way inside and greeted the security guard at the desk.

“‘Morning, Harvey!”

“Heyyy, Jack. ID?” I showed him my card. “Hey, you didn’t hear it from me, but one of the Secretary’s deputies went to Clean Water this morning. You guys might have some excitement today.”

The Bureau of Clean Water was my little sub-agency, and one of the relative bigwigs paying a visit first thing in the morning usually meant something… interesting was afoot. “Oh, Christ, what happened? Did Centralia finally blow up or something? Three Mile Island spring a leak?” I had a friend in the Bureau of Abandoned Mine Reclamation, and the nearly sixty-year-running coal mine fire in Centralia made up a giant chunk of their workload, something I never heard the end of. And the nuclear power plant on Three Mile Island was always a worry ever since their accident in the seventies; if anything happened to that, I’d be spending a lot of time handling paperwork to and from the Bureau of Radiation Protection.

“Nah, I think I woulda heard about something like that. Probably just a meeting with your bureau chief, but just a heads-up.”

I shrugged. “Fair enough, thanks, dude. I’ve got a heads-up for you too, actually, before I head up.”



“Whassat?” Harvey asked.

“I’ve got some stuff right after work today so I brought my girlfriend here to downtown. I doubt anything’ll happen, but I told her to come here in case she felt unsafe. Monika. Tall-ish, really long brown hair, red dress, white parka, you can’t miss her.”



“Okay, hol’ up, you got a date?” the guard cackled. “Oh, sir, ID please?” he said, momentarily looking away to check in another man coming in the door. “You of all people? Nah, I’m foolin’, I hear you. Anything happens, I’ll take care of it.”

“Good man. See ya at lunch break. Take care, Harvey.”

##################################################

One elevator ride later, I made it to my cubicle to find a note on the desk. “Hey, Jack, come to my office when you see this. Got some stuff to talk about. - Boss J”

Nothing to do but set my stuff down and make my way over, I guess . Jason Nguyen was my division head, so whatever it was, it was at least a little important.

What I wasn’t expecting was two other people sitting in his office waiting for me. One of them I recognized, Bill Krantz, the chief - well, director, but everyone called him “chief” - of our Clean Water bureau. The other one introduced herself. “Hello, Jack. Elizabeth Ortiz, I’m the Policy Director. I’ve heard a lot about you these past few days, and I wanted to meet you myself.” The Director held out her hand.



I had to fight the impulse to freeze on the spot. There were only two reasons somebody that high up would want to meet me, and judging by the smiles (and my frantically running over a mental checklist of mistakes I’d made in the past month or so), it wasn’t the bad one. I shook her hand as calmly as I could manage and introduced myself in return.

As if he was reading my mind, Jason turned to me. “So, I was just telling Ms. Ortiz here about all the hard work you put in here at the Bureau of Clean Water….”

It was right about then that Harvey's warning and the note in the office and the collection of people in this office all coalesced together and psychologically hit me in the face like a sandbag-on-a-rope delivered by a vengeful Kevin McAllister.



No way…

She piped up. “And as it turns out, the department’s finally allocated the funds to get me an executive secretary of my own.”



No fucking way!

“So, to get straight to the point, I’m ready to offer you the position. It’s a fairly large promotion, but your superiors here, especially your division head here, have been nothing but glowing in their recommendation. You’re fast, you’re good at what you do, and perhaps most importantly, you’re an excellent team player with what I’ve been told is a winning personality. The benefits are the same high standard as you have here, of course, but the pay grade is significantly better. And of course you get to work directly for me-” she beamed a charming, clearly practiced smile at me “-and handle my affairs and those of the Policy office. You’ll have a couple of secretaries under you, the ones for the rest of the office, and your job will be specifically to help me do the best job I can in running my office, doing very similar work to what you’re doing now, except that the personal itinerary management will just be mine instead of handling it for the entire bureau.” The Director paused.

“I take it by the way your jaw is hanging open that you’re willing,” she said with a knowing smirk.

“Oh, goodness, I’m sorry,” I halfway-sputtered. Ms. Ortiz just laughed and waved it off. “Yes, of course, I’d be honored to accept, Director.”

“Excellent. Is next Monday good to begin your orientation?”

I looked over at my current bosses. “Unless they need me for something critical, absolutely.”

She followed my glance. “Will that be a problem?”

Jason spoke for both of them. “Nothing we can’t handle, Director.”

“Very good, then. I’ll see you on Monday - you know where my office is, right? Top floor. Speaking of which, I should probably get back up there myself. It was good to finally meet you, Jack.”

I swallowed. “You as well, ma’am.” Director Ortiz filed out of the office and towards the elevator, leaving me in the room with Chief Krantz and Mr. Nguyen.

I was actually the first to speak. “So. Uh. Wow. What was that all about?”



Krantz looked me square in the eye. “Normally, there’s not too much to say about a clerk, but you do exceptional work, Beatrice Kuntz’s constant complaining aside. I heard Liz Ortiz was looking to headhunt somebody for her new secretary and I immediately went to your name in my head. Plus, speaking of Mrs. Kuntz, I know you’ve been having a hard time with her, and I know it’s not your fault.”



Jason spoke up at that. “Yeah, it’s been killing me not really being able to do anything about that. Because people with management experience like that looking into the civil service are a little more scarce than I’d like, frankly. And besides, we’ve got ourselves a solution that’s good for everyone anyway.”

I picked up the thought. “Which was kicking me upstairs, eh?”

Said Krantz: “You got it. You’re perfect for it, Jack. You’re a natural at smoothing ruffled feathers. Well, mostly. And at getting things done and done right , and, and I think this is a highly-underrated skill, knowing when to ask questions. If everyone in this office communicated as well as you did, this bureau would run perfectly. Oh, and that you’re willing to take home work. I know it’s not exactly something I can require from you, but you always try and pull your weight even when you can’t be here. That’s dedication. Basically, you’re exactly the right person for it, and the bit that it’d stop our little issue is just gravy.”

I was a step removed from speechless. “I can’t thank you guys enough for this, honestly. It means a lot that both of you think that highly of me. I’m just doing my best here, chief.”

“No, really, we’re just calling it as we see it, Jack.” That was Jason this time. “Speaking of when you can’t be here, by the way, is everything okay with that emergency you had to miss Friday for?”

“Ah, yeah,” I said, trying to look a little downcast. “A really close friend of the family got seriously sick and I had to take care of them for a couple days. Wasn’t anybody else who could do it and they don’t have insurance...” It wasn’t technically a lie, although it was a big stretch. I definitely felt like I was. I felt a pang of guilt, realizing this was the first time I’d deceived anyone about Monika.

“Oh God, are they okay?” Jason asked.

“Okay enough that I didn’t have to take off today, at least. Oof. Thanks.” Once again, not technically a lie.

“Happy to hear it, honestly. I hope they keep getting better,” Chief Krantz responded. “Thankfully, not much happened Friday. We kept up just fine. Speaking of which, I should be getting back to my space. You two do, I don’t know, whatever it is the Governor pays you pencil-pushers in admin to do, I’m sure it’s probably important!” he said with a laugh on the way out the door.

Jason turned to look at me, a look of helplessness in his eyes. I just groaned. “Okay, boss, what’s in the cards for today?”

#######################################################

Monika

So. Many. Books!

I’d never seen this many in one place before. I had vague memories of something that could have maybe been called a library at what passed for the school I’d theoretically… okay, never mind. It was a lot of books, okay? If there was a heaven, it probably looked like this (although I would imagine it would be a lot less empty than this; the middle of the morning on a Monday was probably not peak hours).

As far as I was concerned, all the literature in the world was at my fingertips. And, ah, I had a blank check….

Let’s see here… E. E. Cummings: Complete Poems, 1904-1962… T. S. Eliot: The Complete Poems and Plays 1909-1950… The Poetry of Robert Frost… Ginsberg’s Collected Poems 1947-1997… The Annotated Emerson… The Silmarillion… By the time I was done, hours after Jack had already headed out the door, I almost had more than I could carry. I plopped a literal armful of books, a comically tall stack of them, down on the register and fished out his card. The twenty-something - if that - boy behind the register stared at me in shock.

“Wow, that’s a lot of books, ma’am!”



I just laughed it off. “Ahahaha, yeah, I’m getting set up in a new place with my boyfriend and I needed to fill up the shelves, you know?” That wasn’t quite the full truth, but certainly close enough, right?



“Oh, well, best of luck to you! You’re not going to be short of anything to read for a while, judging by all this…. Are you going to need any help carrying everything?”



I handed him my card, and thought about it as he went to ring it up.

“Honestly? Tempting to ask, but I don’t have too far to go. Thanks, though.” I stopped for a second, collecting my bags. “Ah, are you much of a reader by any chance? Do you happen to have any recommendations on what to read first out of everything?”



The clerk pursed his lips in thought. “I’ve always liked Walt Whitman, myself. I’d start with him. Leaves of Grass. ”



“Huh. Okay! Thank you!” I replied, as cheerfully as I could manage, as I moved to leave.



“Have a great day, ma’am! Try not to freeze out there!”

I smiled at him over my shoulder before the door closed behind me.

The air outside, mercifully, had warmed some since we left the house that morning, though the wind was still… much, much stronger than I’d have liked. I shuffled back to the cafe as fast as I could manage what with the enormous stack of books in my arms and took a seat in a back corner of the place.

I spent a little bit of time checking a few things out on the computer, but the thing was chugging along so slowly, and uncharacteristically so, that I just gave up and pulled out the books.

With the aid of some fresh reading material, noon came around before I knew it. My first clue to the time, actually, was Jack waving a hand between my face and my copy of Leaves of Grass . I looked up to see him standing next to the table and a couple of sandwiches and soups set down in front of me.

“I see you had fun cleaning out my savings today, huh?”

“Way too much fun, really~”

Jack just chuckled and shook his head before leaning down and kissing me. “Heya, princess.”

Adorable man.

“I’ve got great news for you, well, us, actually,” he said, sitting down in a chair across from me and reaching for one of the bread bowls of soup.

“Oh yeah?” I replied, through a mouthful of an absolutely delicious sandwich .

“I’m not a clerk typist with the Bureau of Clean Water any more.”

“Wait, what? You got fired? That’s terrible…! Was it that awful woman?”



Jack laughed again. “No, no, no, I said great news! Although to be fair, getting away from her would almost make that worth it anyway… no, next week, I’m becoming the executive secretary for the Policy Division director! It’s a promotion , hon!”

“Oh… my… God!! ” I squealed, loudly, jumping out of my seat, scrambling around the table, and enveloping the poor boy, bouncing on my feet the whole time. “That’s incredible!” I think I just about smothered him. I got a looks from other patrons in the cafe, some judging and some knowing, but I can’t say I cared. “So what’s the new position about?”



Jack scratched his chin for a second - very cliche guy I was dating, I had to admit. “I’ll know more once I have some time to look more at the description, but from what I was told, it’s basically the same thing I’m doing now, except I’m just working for one person instead of… like… 30, but that one person’s really important, I guess. And I’m in charge of a couple clerks under me, so there’s that. Because, well, I guess I oversimplified, I’m also in a way handling the entire directorate, since everything everyone else wants to get to the director comes through me and the other two secretaries...”

“It sounds like you’re moving up in the world, Jack.”

“Yeah, I guess I am. Sure, I’m still literally just a glorified secretary, but… I always thought it was important anyway. The government couldn’t run without people like me, you know?”

I just smiled at him. “I’m proud of you, sweetie. You’re doing good work, and you’re doing it well enough that other people are noticing. Not that I wouldn’t be proud of you no matter what, ahaha~. But I’m double proud right now. And I don’t care if anyone looks down on you for being a secretary or something - you’re right, they couldn’t do it without you.” I paused. “And you know, I couldn’t do this without you, either.”

So that’s what it looks like when you can visibly see someone’s heart melt.

Jack took my hands. “I’m not sure I could have done this without you either. I don’t know if you remember, but the thought of you was enough to get me through some really dark times. You helped me tread water, I guess, would be the way to put it.” His eyes teared up a little. “But that’s nothing compared to what I felt when I found out about the promotion today.”

“What do you mean?” I said, a bit perplexed.

“If thinking about you helped me stay afloat before, thinking about telling you about this today made me fly .”

I was stone-cold stunned. “You are, without a doubt, the sappiest person I have ever heard of.”

Jack’s eyes instantly lost the sheen and started positively twinkling . “Ah, but you have heard of me!”

“...I’m missing a reference again, aren’t I?”

“Yep,” he deadpanned.

“That’s not fair, babe, and you know it.”

“Nope,” he deadpanned, again. “But you love me anyway.”



“...So much.” I stopped for a moment in thought. “So, what does this mean for us?”

“I dunno. Haven’t had much time to think about it today, really.”

“Ahaha, fair enough,” I laughed. “Still, this sounds like big stuff. How big is the raise that comes with it?”

Jack scratched his chin in thought. “Been a while since I looked at the pay grade chart, but it’s a few thousand a year at least, even with my seniority going back to one. It’s pretty damn good.”

“Wow…”

“Yeah, it’s really something.”

A thought occurred to me. “Could we get a house with that?”

“Huh. You know, probably. As long as it’s not a really expensive one, I could probably handle a mortgage. Why?”

“Well, I just thought it’d be a step up, you know? We could have our own little cozy place outside the city. If you know as much about me as I think you do, then you know I’ve always had this fantasy of a nice little domestic family…” I trailed off wistfully.

Jack just smiled at me. “If that’s what you want, then we’ll definitely see about it. I’ll check the pay schedule when I get back. We can start looking around soon, and if I like it in the new job and we can afford a place, we’ll try. I promise. Can’t promise we’ll do it, but we will try. Okay?”

“Okay.” I nodded.

“Ya know, I would have been content to just stay in the apartment. I was never really an ambitious person. I guess you’re gonna be the person to shove me along and make me do stuff?”

I squeezed his hands gently. “I want you to be the best version of you you can possibly be, Jack. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.” I turned my gentle smile into a smirk. “And if it takes your girlfriend kicking your ass to make you better yourself, then so be it.”

He threw his hands up in mock indignation. “Hey, I might be a little bit disabled, but I still played football. Don’t try me!”

“You threatening the person who can make you sleep on the couch?”

“Okay, first off, whatever happened to it being my bed? Second, you wouldn’t dare .”

“Ours now, babe, and oh, I would, don’t try me . I can take care of my self , thank you very much.” I winked at him.

“‘Long as I get to watch, babe,” he chuckled.

I just sighed and shook my head. “Men, I swear.”



“Oh, based on what experience , exactly?”

“...You got me there. Ahahaha~”

“That’s what I thought.”

We joked it up for a couple minutes while we finished up our lunch. As Jack got up to leave, I reached out and took his hand again.

“For real, Jack, I mean it. I am so proud of you.” I smiled up at my boyfriend, then got up and embraced him. “I love you so, so very much.” I followed this up with the softest kiss I could manage.

He just stood there for a moment, before responding, slowly.

“You are an absolute angel. I don’t know what I did to deserve any of this, but you make me happier than I’ve ever been.” He sighed. “I love you too, Monika.”



A moment’s pause.



“I have to get back to the office. I’ll see you in a few hours, okay?”

We very, very reluctantly let go of each other, before he slipped away and walked out the door.

As I sat down, I heard a throaty laugh from behind me. I turned to see an elderly woman with wiry white hair grinning at me and sipping at a cup of tea.

“Ah, young love!"



Oh. Right. We were just in a public restaurant having that conversation. My cheeks burned as I’m sure I blushed redder than an apple.

“No need to be embarrassed, dearie. It’s refreshing for a tired old woman like me,” she cackled. “Really. Gives me some hope for the future after I’m gone, people like you two do. I figure the world will keep on spinning and people like you will fall in love and live your lives and have kids and grow old like me and then your kids’ll do the same thing…” She stopped and took another sip of her tea. “That everything’s gonna keep going the way it’s been since I was your age and life’ll go on and everything’ll be okay. Makes an old soul like me happy.”

I tried to smile at her, still feeling the embarrassment despite her words. “I’m glad…”

“What was your name? I thought I heard your man say but I’ve already forgotten, bother.”

“Monika,” I said shyly.

“Monika, is it? Lovely name. Old name, too. I’m Cherie.”

I couldn’t reach her to shake her hand without getting back up, so I just bowed slightly in my seat. “It’s nice to meet you, Cherie.”



“As it is to meet you. My, you’re a polite young lady, aren’t you? Good to see they’re still teaching kids manners these days, ha! Anyway, you’ll have to excuse me, I ramble a bit in my old age! I’m just waiting for my son to get here. He works in one of these offices. He’ll be coming with me to go see one of my doctors today. He might be in his fifties but he’s still such a wonderful, helpful boy. Maybe your… boyfriend? Fiance? Aw, whatever he is, knows him? But there I go again.“

Anyway. Let me let you in on a little secret: respect and love in a family like that is earned. It don’t come free. My sister took her kids for granted, and when she got old, she didn’t have nobody to take care of her. Ended up in a home. But me? Oh, they love me. They’re always helping me out. I don’t even have to ask sometimes, and they call me or they, uh, they text me all the time. Wonderful thing, these new smartphones , it’s a shame more people my age don’t get ‘em! Honest, I think it’s at least as much stubbornness as them being new that does that. Anyway, just remember that for the future, would you, dearie? You seem like such a sweet girl and I’d hate to see you end up like my sister.”

Talkative woman, this was. But what she was saying, even if her words meandered a little, undoubtedly had an air of wisdom to it. I leaned in attentively, drawing a smile.

“And let me tell you one other thing. This goes for everybody, but for some reason I feel like you should hear it, you know? Anyway, here’s the thing. It might not seem like it sometimes, but you’re here for a reason. God, fate, whatever you believe in, it put you here, right here, right now, you came into this world for a purpose. It might not be obvious to you sometimes, and there’s usually a lot of purposes you can’t see, but there’s a reason. Maybe in, I don’t know, some cosmic sense this is all meaningless, but you can always make a meaning out of it.”



Whatever it is, you’re always a part of something bigger. I can tell you right now that that man you’re in love with might not be standing here if it wasn’t for you. Never seen him before in my life, but I can tell by the way that he talks that you’re his entire world almost. Not that some boy is your only reason for being, heavens no, I’ve learned the hard way that’s a bad way to live, have the divorce papers to prove it, but… aw, you know what I’m saying. You’re special, Monika, and don’t you ever forget it.”

“I think you’re a special woman too, Cherie. I’ve never met you before in my life, and here you are giving me… honestly, a lot to think about, ahaha~”



“Oh, gawsh, I wouldn’t be surprised if I got to my doctor’s office and found out that laugh cured my cancer!” she guffawed.

A buzz came from her purse. She pulled out her phone, took one look at it, and smiled at me. “Speaking of, my son is outside waiting for me at the curb. I’d better get going. Oh, but, tell you what. Since you’re such a sweet girl, here.” Cherie pulled out a pen and scribbled something on a napkin with surprising speed - a closer look revealed a phone number. “If you ever need anything, feel free to call me, okay? I’d be happy to help.”

I quietly thanked her and wished her luck at the doctor’s as she pulled herself to her feet and carefully made her way past me and out the door.

Well, that was something .

#######################################################

The rest of the day blew by surprisingly quickly. I went back and forth between some of my new books and various things that interested me on the internet for a few hours, occasionally pausing to nibble on a bagel or some fruit.

The only really notable thing that came up was when I blatantly disregarded some of Jack’s sage-in-hindsight advice and looked up myself.



Some of you people really are perverts. I’m amazed. The sheer depths that some people went to was nothing short of astounding. I have to admit, though - I did get some good ideas for outfits to get for special occasions . I mean… the things you can do with ribbon….

Anyway! The end of Jack’s work day rolled around, and it wasn’t long before I found myself packing up the laptop and my new library and following him back to the garage and his car. I made sure to let him know about the laptop.

Mercifully, the wind had finally died down, so it wasn’t quite so unpleasant walking around in the gathering winter twilight. Great guy that he was, Jack offered to carry some of the books, but, remembering his physical condition, I declined. I wasn’t about to have my boyfriend throw out his back carrying a whole shelf’s worth of books that I’d splurged on. I did something bad and now I have to accept the revolution , Sayori’s words sang out to me, unbidden. Retribution , Yuri’s deep, gentle voice chided back in my head.

Dammit. Maybe one day I’ll stop hearing ghosts.

The worst part of it was that I hadn’t even been in the room for that conversation. I just knew about it, heard it in my head, like I did every last one of their words; the walls and even distance may as well have just not been there. Which meant that I knew every emotional, laughter-filled, tearful, joyful, heartfelt word any of them ever said, even though none of it had ever been meant for my ears. I’d been an unwilling voyeur to everything that happened, and I’d still destroyed all of it. Processing this, I sighed sadly as I stacked my books in the back seat.

I saw Jack’s head turn towards the sound. Immediately, he stopped clambering into the car and instead wordlessly walked around it and embraced me. I didn’t hesitate for even a moment before resting my head over his shoulder, burying my face in his neck, and letting the inevitable tears come.

“I miss them so, so, so much, Jack. More than anything.”

Still not saying a word, he leaned his head down against mine and pulled me in as tightly as he could, gently running his hand up and down my back.

The two of us just stood there while I cried it out for a couple minutes. Finally I pulled back and looked him in the eye. “I don’t know if I could live with myself without you being here for me like this,” I sniffled.

“It’ll be okay, sweetheart. We’re both trying our best. Just… let’s get going, okay? I don’t wanna keep Doc waiting, and you’re gonna get sick if you stand out in this cold for too long.”

“Okay,” I whispered, pulling him close one more time before disengaging and moving to get in.

As he climbed in on the other side, he pulled out his phone and plugged in the aux cord. “Let’s get some happy shit going, dammit!”

The music started as the car started and we pulled out onto the street. Curious, I picked up Jack’s phone and looked at his phone. It was set to shuffle, from a pretty big selection of his library. He must have set this up before he got in.

Now Playing: Bruce Springsteen - Born to Run (1975) - Born to Run

Predictably, there was an accident on the interstate outside of the Harrisburg. Traffic slowed to a crawl even before we made it over the river.

Jack smacked the steering wheel in frustration. “Just once in my goddamn life I would like people in this state to learn how to drive. Just once! Please!” He slumped back into his seat. “Pennsylvania drivers, I swear to God. You’d think we were in Russia with the dash cams and everything…” he muttered.

I was about to point out that we’d left early specifically to make sure a traffic jam wasn’t a problem, and then something about that sentence grabbed my attention.



“Russia?”

“Yeah. Oh, yeah, you wouldn’t know anything about that. So Russia’s. Um... uh, they have… some interesting drivers. By which I mean… they teach us here to drive defensively . Yeah, that’s not a thing over there. At least, that I know about. Take that with a grain of salt, the internet isn’t a perfect knowledge source, but… the aggressive driving is so bad that apparently you need to have a camera on your dashboard to keep records of everything that’s going on just so you can get your car insured. Lovely people, honest, but I wouldn’t want to be on the roads over there.”

“...Oh my….”

“Look it up on the phone if you want. You’ll find a bunch of crazy videos about it.”

I thought about it for a moment. “Not while I’m out on the roads, thanks. Driving scares me enough.”

“Fair enough! Don’t wanna jinx it.” Jack laughed. “Anyway, point is, sometimes I swear drivers in this state have about the same level of suka blyat in their bloodstream… shit, don’t repeat that in polite company.”

“Okay, it doesn’t look that bad,” I chided him.



“No, but we have another… uniquely Pennsylvanian problem here. We have way more roads than we need.”

“Hmm?”

“Back in the fifties when the government actually invested in the states, we built a massive road network across the entire country. As in, the US road system could literally go all the way around the sun like twice if you put every road end to end. And Pennsylvania built more roads than almost any other state for its size. Paved a lot of tiny side roads that a lot of other states would have left as dirt roads, too. And we have a ton of bridges.” He paused.

Now Playing: Boston - Boston (1976) - Peace of Mind

“I’m… not seeing the problem,” I said.

“Roads, just like everything else, need to be maintained. Which costs money. It absolutely eats the budget, and the feds hardly pay us anything, even though they paid to build it. Which means that the Department of Transportation only works on the roads when they absolutely have to, for the most part. Which means the roads fucking suck. At least here.”

My brain finally put all the pieces together. “Ohh… so since they can’t fix the roads, there’s holes everywhere, which makes more accidents happen….”

Jack smiled at me. “You got it! Definitely got a brain somewhere under all that hair!”

“Oh, hush, you. You’re not allowed to give me crap about something you’re literally playing with right this second .” I motioned my head down to his right hand, currently twirling around a handful of my curls.

He looked sheepish. “Shit, you right. It’s just so nice…”

“Dork.” I reached over and started stroking Jack’s arm as traffic slowly inched along the interstate, drawing a sigh from him. The two of us sat there in silence for a while. Or, near silence.

Now Playing: Starship - No Protection (1987) - Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now

Broken, of course, by Jack’s refusal to not sing along, quietly.

And we can build this dream together, standing strong forever, nothing’s gonna stop us now! And if this world runs out of lovers, we’ll still have each other! Nothing’s gonna stop us, nothing’s gonna stop us now!

#######################################################

Jack

Now Playing: Tom Waits - Closing Time (1973) - Ol’ 55

The actual distance between Harrisburg and Hanover is not, in truth, all that far. In fact, US Route 15 from Camp Hill to York Springs and Pennsylvania Route 94 from York Springs to Hanover form practically straight lines going south-southwest and south-southeast; Route 94 in particular is actually nearly perfectly straight, and the whole journey as a result is a mere forty miles. Don’t believe me? Look it up on Google Maps sometime, PA-94 really does look like it was drawn with a ruler.

All of this being a long-winded way of saying that the trip should not take all that long on an ordinary day.



Unfortunately for us, this was no ordinary day. On top of the accident at the interchange outside of Harrisburg, an overturned semi truck outside Dillsburg, a decent-sized town along Route 15, caused traffic to be backed up nearly another ten miles. As a result, it ended up being almost two hours before we even made it to Hanover. I didn’t pull us into the parking lot at Leo’s practice until 6:58.

Not that I’m complaining about being stuck in the car with Monika for two hours, mind you. But the experience definitely made me wish I was driving a nicer car than what I had. The interior… I think the best way to put it was that it wasn’t rated for road trips.

And Monika sure wasn’t complaining - while there was still light outside, she took in the sights with an almost childlike awe. To me, northern York County is pretty bland; if there’s any natural beauty in the state, I’d put it much further north in the mountains. But for her, farm country was nothing short of miraculous. Cows grazing on what little grass there was still growing at this time of year, horses with blankets draped over their backs gazing over the fences at the cars on the road, the empty fields still covered in the chopped-off bases of corn stalks even. All of this was magical to her, and it absolutely melted my heart.

Speaking of melting, it was much warmer in Hanover, probably the influence of the big Chesapeake Bay not far south. Stepping out of the car and rushing into the clinic, I noted Monika not shivering like she was trying to come up with a new dance move.

The old receptionist I’d known as a child was, to my surprise, still working at the front desk. She greeted me with a smile as I checked in, before I took a seat in the waiting room next to my girlfriend… who I noticed was trembling slightly.

“We’re sure this is a good idea?” Monika whispered. I just squeezed her hand.

“Relax, hon. I’m sure. It’ll be okay… promise. Trust me.”



“I do trust you, Jack, but I’m still scared….”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m with you, alright?”



She let out a deep breath. “...Okay. I can do this. Ahahaha...”

“Good,” I said, leaning in and pecking her cheek. “I know you can.”

Right then, the door to the back rooms swung open, and out stepped the smiling old form of the man perhaps more responsible than anyone else for who I was - none other than Doc Leo himself, a deceptively small-looking, bespectacled, mostly bald man, perhaps in his late sixties, in a simple plaid button-down and khakis. He looked around for a brief moment before settling his eyes on the two of us and striding over.

“Hello there, Jack! Long time, no see! And you must be…”

“Monika. I’ve heard a lot about you, sir.”

“Excellent. It’s wonderful to finally meet you! Now, If the two of you would just follow me….” The receptionist buzzed the door open, and I pulled Monika up out of her chair. Her gripping my hand in a petrified death grip, the three of us headed back towards his office.

#######################################################

"Hey...?! Hello? Monika? Anybody? Where am I? What's happening?"