CLEVELAND—Visibly moved by attendees’ vitriolic handmade signs and enraged calls for federal prosecution, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich told those at the Republican National Convention Wednesday that it was an honor to address a crowd that shared his extremely bizarre and unhealthy obsession with Hillary Clinton. “I’m grateful to be standing here tonight in front of an arena full of people who, like me, are strangely and excessively possessed by thoughts of Secretary Clinton,” said Gingrich, adding that he found it deeply touching to be surrounded by so many Americans also provoked to inarticulate fury by the very mention of the former first lady’s name. “Most people simply don’t understand why I go on at length about this object of my hateful fixation that occupies my every waking thought, but you people truly get it. In fact, some of you might be even more consumed with this delusional fascination than I am. Which is why it’s such a privilege for me to be here tonight.” At press time, Gingrich’s eyes reportedly welled with tears and he started to choke up as the Quicken Loans Arena crowd began a chant demanding Hillary Clinton’s imprisonment on charges of treason.

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