“Well gentlemen,” said the head Wizard, “it’s totally time to panic. What are your best ideas to save our Wizard Business?”*



*I didn’t call it a Wizness because I already used that in another story.

The other wizards looked at each other across the crystal ball, stroking their beards, or boobs if they were ladies. They knew their boss was counting on them at this juncture to get through the hard times.

“Well,” said one wizard who was dumb, “what if we bought talking frogs in large batches and sold them at a profit to children who wanted them?”

“You’re so dumb!” said everyone at once (turns out that spell to link everyone’s mind was totally worth it). “Kids only love frogs because they CAN’T talk. Why don’t you just leave if you wanna be so dumb?”



Then that guy left.

“Look,” said a smart wizard, “what if we made something so dope and awesome that both grandpas and cool people would want it?”



“That’s a good idea,” said the boss wizard, waving his wand to automatically give the smart wizard a bonus, “but what will it be?”



All the wizards thought and thought and thought. They stroked their beards and boobs more and even each other’s beards and boobs to see if it would help (it kinda did.).

“What about alcohol?” said the smartest of all the wizards.



“What’s that?” said everyone at once again.

That’s right. I didn’t tell you this, but this meeting took place 50,000 years ago and is how alcohol got invented.

Pretty cool right?