Hello there, gamers. In this article, I will unravel one of gaming’s greatest mysteries, one that has been pondered by gamers for ages. Well, at least it’s been pondered by me. In this article, I will try to explain who these mystery parents are. In Yoshi’s Island, the plot is that Yoshi must rescue Baby Luigi and reunite Baby Mario and Baby Luigi with their parents. Their parents are actually shown after you beat the game, but you never see their faces, only their hands and feet. This begs the question: Just who the hell are Mario and Luigi’s parents? Well, I think I have the answer, and it may shock you. I believe their parents are… Mario (AKA Jumpman) and Pauline from Donkey Kong. Yes, this Mario and Pauline:

I know, I know, you probably think I’m mentally retarded right now. Just hear me out, okay? The biggest evidence for this is Donkey Kong himself. Now, I’m pretty sure you know by now that the original Donkey Kong is actually Cranky Kong and the Donkey Kong we all know and love is actually Donkey Kong Jr. (or Cranky Kong’s grandson). This isn’t just some stupid fanfic bullshit either. It’s official. I remember an issue of Nintendo Power from 1995 (well actually, I didn’t read it until 2006 or 2007, which is when I got it, because after all, I was born in ’93), when it was still Nintendo Of America’s official magazine. It’s also in the DKC instruction manual. Lastly, Cranky Kong alludes to this in the DKC games. The problem with this is that the original Donkey Kong has aged tremendously and has become a cranky (pun intended) old ape, while Mario has seemingly remained the same age. Why hasn’t Mario aged at all? And why wasn’t Luigi anywhere to be seen in Donkey Kong (besides the obvious “Nintendo didn’t think of him yet”)? The answer is, the original Mario has aged, and the Mario that we all know and love is not the original Mario, but is his son instead. Luigi wasn’t even born yet during the events of Donkey Kong, which would explain why he’s nowhere to be seen. The original Mario and Pauline were the parents to the Mario Bros. This would explain why Mario and Luigi were plumbers from Mario Bros. on, while the Mario from Donkey Kong was a construction worker. They also had another child… Pauline. Yes, I know you’re confused now, but let me finish. Pauline reappeared in the Nintendo DS game, Mario Vs. Donkey Kong 2: March Of The Minis. Now, I have never played that game, but according to the Super Mario Wiki, the manual says they are great friends. Great enough friends to be brother and sister? I think so. Now some may say that this means Mario and Pauline broke up, but handled it well. Well, I think this is bullshit. The Pauline in this game is obviously a different Pauline than the one in Donkey Kong. Need proof? Here it is:

As you can tell, the Pauline in Donkey Kong has blond hair, while this Pauline has brown hair. This means that they are different Paulines. Here is the Mario family tree as I see it:

Mario (Jumpman) and Pauline (original)- Parents

Mario, Luigi, and Pauline- Mario and Pauline’s children.

Well, there you have it. I have finally figured out who Mario and Luigi’s parents are. I also came to the conclusion that Mario and Luigi have a sister. I hope you had fun reading this, because I had fun writing it. Have a nice day, and thank you for reading.