GETTING onto someone’s gift list this Christmas is like getting past a velvet rope.

Victoria Shtainer narrowed hers by age and rank. Children? They’re in. Top clients? In. Everyone else? Perhaps post-recession.

“This year I decided we’re going to give presents only to the children, not the adults in the family,” said Ms. Shtainer, a real estate broker in Manhattan with Prudential Douglas Elliman, “because everyone is making less.”

Like any businesswoman, Ms. Shtainer also wanted to give presents to clients, so she had to be strategic. She gathered some unopened wine and liquor from her apartment for re-gifting. “My husband is a physician,” Ms. Shtainer explained, “he gets a lot of Cognac.” Then she stocked up on chocolate at Costco. The candy and spirits went into gift bags, along with hand-written notes. And instead of paying for postage or a delivery service, Ms. Shtainer climbed into her car and dropped off each bag herself.

“I really thought about who to give and what to give,” she said, noting that she also donated 10 percent of what she would have spent for grown-ups to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.