The Vampires Of Zakynthos

Roving Mick and Sylvia recently had an enjoyable holiday in Zakynthos. Their one regret from this trip was how popular they were with the local flying insect life. This inspired Mick to use his great understanding of aesthetics and culture to write a poem about being bitten everywhere by mosquitoes – apart from one place!



The first day of our trip to Zakynthos

Was tastier than Blackpool Rock

But this was for the mosquitoes.

At least they didn’t bite my stick of rock.



They bit me all over my body

My feet while still in their sock.

At least they didn’t in one place

They didn’t bite my hock.



My legs looked like currant cake

With spots a leopard would mock

Yes I would like to change them

But they didn’t bite my springbok



We may as well have been in Africa

With lions and hippo who shock

But worse things are in the river

At least didn’t bite my croc

This biting from these Mosquitoes

Was like a peck from a giant Roc

Sinbad the Sailor couldn’t save us

But they didn’t bite my hammock

Lancashire lads and lasses

We’re very fine Northern stock

Clogs and shawls at the ready

At least they didn’t bite my smock



My timing wasn’t so brilliant

Fascinating said Mr. Spock

The mosquitoes were so logical

At least they didn’t bite my clock



We never took any precautions

Made ourselves a right laughing stock

The Chinese have a remedy

At least they didn’t bite my wock

But something’s started to appear

In a place that’s given me a shock

The little blighters have finally got me

Yes, they’ve bitten me on my c#ck!