James and Betty Gay of Staunton had been married for 65 years. She died at 2 a.m. March 18. He died just before midnight the same day.

It's a story that happens now and then. Longtime married couple spends their lives together, then die together. We always wonder: Did they decide to go together into the hereafter? It happened recently to James and Betty Gay of Staunton.

They had been married for 65 years. She died at 2 a.m. March 18. He died just before midnight the same day. It was the talk of Staunton because, one, it was amazing that they died on the same day. And, two, they were so well-known in town.

“Everybody, they just can't believe it,” says their daughter, Jane Haase. “They were all shocked because (Mom) had always been in such great physical shape. It was just her mind that was gone.”

Betty was 85 and had Alzheimer's. Last year, she had to be moved to a care facility in Glen Carbon. Jim wasn't doing a whole lot better but probably didn't really need to be at Eden Village Care Center. But the family didn't want them to be apart and so he went, too.

“We couldn't bear to separate them,” says Jane, “so we put them there together last May.”

They met at a dance. Jane was from Staunton, and after high school, worked at the town bank. James had returned to his hometown of Benld after being in the Navy during World War II. On Saturday nights, there was always a dance at the Moose Lodge in Staunton, and that's where it happened.

“He asked to walk her home, even though he had driven his friends from Benld to the dance,” says Jane. “His friends could not find him because they did not know where my mom lived, so they drove the truck back to Benld and my dad took a cab home. They were together from that night on.”

They raised four kids while Jim ran Gay Plumbing, Heating and Hardware in Staunton. He was the quiet one, she was the talker. That's a familiar dynamic. Jim would look to Betty for direction, and she was happy to give it.

“My dad was a very soft-spoken man,” says Jane. “He always listened attentively but didn't have much to say. My mom, on the other hand, was outgoing and a people person. It was always a joke how she would speak for him, ordering food at restaurants, answering questions for him. That is the reason I say he couldn't live without her because there would be no one to speak for him or tell him what to do.”

Toward the end, it's hard to say how aware they really were, but he knew she was there and he knew when she wasn't. When Betty became seriously ill and was taken to hospice, James knew she was gone.

In the hours after Betty died, Jane says her dad just chose to sleep the day away. Maybe, she says, he just didn't want to face it. Nobody really knows.

“I truly believe,” says Jane, “that he knew she was gone. There had been no indication that morning his health was rapidly deteriorating.”

But no sooner had the family gotten home after their mother's death than they were called back to Eden Village because Jim was failing. At 11:50, he died. Ten minutes later and he wouldn't have gone on the same day as Betty.

And it was just days before their birthdays. They were two days apart, March 24 for James and March 26 for Betty. Two years apart, too; 1926 and 1928.

“It was like the law of twos,” says Jane. “Their birthdays are two days apart, they died 22 hours apart. I don't know what the twos had to do with it, but we all noticed that.”

There was a double funeral on March 22 (more twos) at Williamson Funeral Home in Staunton. Longtime friend Alva Tevini said she had never been to something like that before. She remarked, also, on Jim and Betty dying on the same day.

“Oh my gosh,” says Alva, “they were a very committed couple to each other. I don't know what Jim was thinking, exactly, but I know he always depended on her, even went to the Alzheimer's unit with her so they could stay together. I know he would have been lost without her.”

We hear about people, especially older people, who finally just give up, for whatever reason. They tire of fighting whatever is draining their bodies, or they don't want to live if they can't live like they want to. Or maybe they just go because they want to be with someone they love. Everybody believes that is what happened with Jim and Betty Gay. It just doesn't seem like it could be coincidence.

Know of something quirky? Emotional? Funny? Inspiring? Dave Bakke is your man and his deadline is always near. Pitch your idea to him at dave.bakke@sj-r.com or (217) 788-1541. His column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. To read more, visit www.sj-r.com/bakke.