As you may recall, in May, Uncle Michael introduced C.J. to RuPaul’s Drag Race while Matt and I were out of town. C.J. was immediately obsessed and we watched season eight as it aired.

Since then, we’ve watched seasons four, five and six for free on Amazon thanks to our Prime membership. You guys. That’s 31 hours of drag queens. #summerofqueens

I’m having a hell of a time remembering which queens and challenges belong to which season. It’s all a tucked and contoured blur at this point.

Thankfully, season two of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars started a week after we ran out of free episodes to watch.

To C.J., few things in life are better than All Stars. It’s like eating all of his favorite foods at one meal while wearing all of his favorite accessories. It’s all of his favorite queens in the same place at the same time.

Here are C.J.’s thoughts on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Season 2, Episode 1:

I’m going to be in RuPaul’s Drag Race Hall of Fame one day. FYI.

I was sooooo happy when I saw Detox and Adore, but my total favorite is Alaska.

The funniest part of the episode was when someone told Alaska that she looked pretty and she said that she got her look from Party City using a Groupon. I love Party City, too.

I love that Adore wants to look like a Monster High Doll. I used to love Monster High Dolls. I guess I still do, kind of.

I like Phi Phi’s new cosplay style; it reminds me of Kim Chi’s style. I love Kim Chi. I wonder if Mrs. Chi knows that Kim Chi is a drag queen yet. She probably does by now.

When I saw CoCo, I said “Ugggghhhhhh.” I don’t think she will make it far.

I love the Talent Show Extravaganza challenge idea. Especially because my second favorite show is America’s Got Talent. My third favorite show is Cupcake Wars.

During the talent show, the judges should have hit a big, red “X” if the act was bad like they do on America’s Got Talent. I kept expecting that.

CoCo was the worst in the talent show. No offense.

Roxxxy looks better this season. When I asked my mom what “burlesque dancing” was she said it was “old timey sexy dancing.”

I loved, loved, loved Alaska’s song. She was the best in the talent show.

Courtney Act would have done good in the talent show if she was on All Stars. But she’s not.

I think Adore got implants in her lips.

We had to skip Tatianna’s act because my Uncle Michael told my mom that it was not appropriate for me to watch. My mom wouldn’t tell me what was so inappropriate about it. So, I asked my uncle and he said it was about sex.

I’m never going to understand the new elimination process. I don’t think RuPaul should have changed it. I’m also never going to remember to say, “Now the time has come to lip sync for your legacy.” I’m too used to saying “Now the time has come to lip sync for your life.”

Eyebrows are a lot of work.

I don’t think Adore was prepared for All Stars. That makes me sad for her. I hope she stays.

CoCo deserved to get eliminated, if you ask me. She cannot get her face makeup right.

I can’t wait for the next episode!

Love, C.J. (Age 9, Fourth grade, Future Drag Queen)

We’ve had to update our rules for watching RuPaul’s Drag Race. I’ve been contacted by some parents who use our rules in their family, so see below for the latest version.

Current Rules C.J. Must Follow In Order To Watch RuPaul’s Drag Race

All homework and chores must be done.

You must watch it with your mom or dad.

We don’t use the words “fishy” or “juicy” to describe people.

We don’t use the words “bitch” and “fuck.” (Well, I do, but he’s not allowed yet.)

We don’t use the word “She-mail.”

Even though RuPaul says “Con-drag-ulations” the real word is “Congratulations” and we use that. (In case it’s ever on a spelling test.)

We don’t put glue sticks in our eyebrows until we are a little bit older or have adult supervision for the application and removal. (I’m not looking forward to dealing with this mess.)

We don’t attempt to glue our wigs to our heads. (I wouldn’t even know where to begin.)

We fast forward through some “Shade Throwing” and “Reading” because that’s not a nice way to talk to people. (I think he will eventually need to learn to throw shade, but not just yet.)

As soon as the show is over, it’s time to immediately sashay away to bed.