I've always rather liked a Saab. Mainly for not being a BMW, or an Audi. It's not an anti-German thing, promise. It's mainly just an anti-cock thing. As in, anti the cocks who drive BMWs and Audis.

Saab drivers are more stylish and discerning. They're more likely to be architects than accountants, media people than estate agents. No tie if he's a he, a cream jacket instead of a dark suit, maybe even a polo neck, rimless glasses… Actually I'm going off Saab drivers as I write. Snaabs, I believe they've been called. So concerned about image, and intent on standing out from the crowd, that they don't mind having a slightly less good car. Bloody idiots, you could say.

This one does stand out, though it's just a re-tweaking rather than a whole new car: a modified front bumper and lights, to bring it into line with its 9-5 big brother, and a range of more efficient engines. It may not be beautiful, but it is unmistakably a Saab, and it has presence – especially this XWD model, which has a slightly higher stance than the others. Rugged even, and outdoorsy, but without the stigma-as-standard you get with a large SUV.

Inside it's nice and smells almost naughtily leathery. Some of the detail isn't brilliant, like the indicator lever that feels so light and flimsy, I'm afraid to indicate too hard in case it falls off. It's little things like that that can let a car down.

Other things I like – the dimmer switch on the instrument lights, so you don't get too dazzled on a dark night. Useful in Sweden, I imagine. I see myself driving through a black Arctic night. I've been to my cabin in the woods, to walk, and drink, and think about myself, alone. Now I'm driving home. It's snowing lightly, but I'm not bothered; Saab's intelligent, active system is distributing torque between the front and rear axles as required for optimum stability and grip. I'm driving hard, I've got plenty of power at my disposal.

On the stereo I'm playing Swedish House Mafia, not because I like Swedish House Mafia (I'm too old, to be honest) but because I feel I ought to, and it goes with the image I'm trying to create for myself. I dim the controls, so the lights aren't reflected in my rimless specs, and I can see the road in front…

Yeah, that works. Though if I'm honest, I'm on the North Circular. Or am I? There's no bloody satnav! You'd think if you spent 27 and a half grand on a car, it would tell you where the hell you were. So I'm lost. But at least I'm lost and a little bit different.

Saab 9-3X 2.0T XWD



Price £27, 510

Top speed 146mph

Acceleration 0-62mph in 6.9 seconds

Combined consumption 35.3mpg

CO2 emissions 185g/km

Green rating 6/10

Cool rating 7/10