With St. Patrick’s Day looming around the corner, it’s important to follow the three rules of smart, craft beer drinking etiquette.

Rule #1: Green in glass, tastes like ass. This one’s fairly simple. Don’t drink dyed beer. Enjoy the beer in its natural state.

Rule #2: Guinness for stout, throw it out. There are plenty of stouts out there (many of which are on nitro) that are much tastier than Guinness. So, unless you have the biggest of soft spots for that Irish Stout, try something new.

Rule #3: Quality over quantity. I chose to forego a witty rhyme for this one because it’s the most important. Instead of getting hammered off of ten green-dyed abominations, have yourself a good time with two or three excellent brews.

br> br>One such brew is Buckeye Lake’s Strong Scotch Ale, a wee heavy that’ll punch you right in the throat, steal your shoes, and then beat you with them, in the most delicious way possible.

The bouquet begins with a potent wall of dense and roasty malts. Brown bread crust and a touch of smoked Grape Nuts create a base that fills your entire nose with each breath, and leaves your olfactory system wanting more. At the sides, mild notes of caramel, toffee, and lightly burnt sugars add a touch of sweetness while pushing the malts forward. The end of each breath ushers in smoke laced with hints of chocolate, alongside traces of alcohol that flirt with your nostrils. Visually, this ale pours a deep, burnt amber, and rocks a tan head of fluffy goodness.

On the tongue, this brew is massive. Heavy and smooth, the first taste you’ll notice is the potent maltiness, with toasted brown bread and roast galore. A layer of smoke follows next, sliding on top of the malt base and helping to boost the alcohol edge that rises up from the back. And at 10%, it’s quite an edge. The burn from each taste is accentuated by a mild sweetness from the sides, consisting of sticky sugars and a hint of caramel. As the drink continues, the smoke fades a bit to allow a touch of chocolate to settle into place. The chocolate isn’t overly sweet, but adds a smoothness that pairs wonderfully with the mild sweetness. The final notes of each taste are of alcohol-infused dates and raisins, subdued but present enough to add some dark fruit strength.

Buckeye Lake’s Strong Scotch Ale is most definitely a monster. Massive in aroma, taste, and potency, this brew will dominate your senses from start to finish. From the nose full of malts that pours out of the bottle as soon as you pop the cap, to the tongue-numbing heat and mouth-filling flavor that begins after the first sip, this is a ride as delicious as it is intense. Be sure to enjoy this below room temperature, to allow all of the flavors and aromas to mix and meld to perfection. If you follow my three simple rules, and share a few bottles of this with friends, you’ll be sure to have a lovely St. Patrick’s Day. Stay crafty, my friends.