The last few days I've anxiously been refreshing the shipment tracking pages every hour or so to see the progress of my gift. The little truck on the map seemed so slow!

This morning I see it will arrive TODAY! I seriously contemplate calling off work but decide it would be unwise to do so. I notified my wife of the imminent arrival of not one, but TWO packages from my SS. She's like 'Yeah, I know, you've only been updating me on the shipping status every time you see a state line crossed.' I laughed, but knew she was right, maybe I was little too excited.

While at work I begin to wonder if it had been delivered yet. I check on the shipping status once more (Shhh! Don't tell my boss!), and the last entry on both packages is...... DELIVERED![INSERT MANDATORY SUCCESS KID MEME]

OH SWEET JESUS! I was very excited. I begin counting down the hours till I finish work. Four to go, I got this. Three hours, getting fidgety. Two hours rolls around and I get a call from my wife.

'I just got home and your 'gifts' have arrived.' I immediately start giving her instructions on making sure they are placed nicely on our kitchen table, ready for me to tear into them as soon as I arrive home. She then reminds me of a previous-planned event we have to attend after work.

I begin to silently question why. Why me? Why on this most anxiously awaited of days? She asks if I'm alright and I notify her I am in fact ok, just very sad I can't come home right away and see my gifts. She offers to bring the gifts with her when she comes to pick me up and I am instantly back into my childish excitement mode.

I ask her what the boxes look like and she looks over them and tells me she believes one of the gifts might need refrigerated. Upon hearing this I became extremely curious and awkwardly excited.

What in the name of all that is holy would need refrigerated. I tell her to open it for me to double check, BUT NOT TO TELL ME WHAT IT IS! She lets out a small giggle at my apparently amusing tone. She asks if I am sure I want her to open it. I contemplate her question for mere moments before coming to the same conclusion.

She says she will open it up and do what needs to be done depending on what she finds inside. She hangs up with the promise to bring the other package with her when she picks me up.

The remaining hours at work are a blur. I sat positing what exactly the mysterious 'may require refrigeration' gift could be. I am completely stumped.

When I walk out of work (ok, ran, I admit it! Don't judge me!), my wife is patiently waiting with a silly grin on her face. I get to the car and see only one package has been brought along on the adventure. WHAT IS IN THAT OTHER PACKAGE??? She laughs at my intrigued expression and tells me I will be excited when I get home.

I grab the sole package at my disposal and open it up to find a nicely wrapped gift and a card. I decide to read through the card before tearing open the wrapping paper (proper order and all!). It is a very silly card of a chimp on a fireplace (Great Choice!) inside is a very kind note, wishing my family and I a great Christmas and wonderful holiday. (THANKS SS! I hope you and your family have a fantastic holiday as well!) There is also another note on the side: 'This is package 1 of 2. Be on the lookout for....'; followed by a very awesome picture of a pig (uploaded among the photos).

As I see the picture of the pig I get confused for a moment, then realize that the elusive gift, apparently left at home, must be related to the pig. I slowly turn to my wife, who has a knowing gleam in her eye, and quizzically stare at her.

She tells me to cut it out (I was apparently creeping her out) and open the other gift, she wasn't going to tell me anything. (She was just as curious as I was about the contents of the present gift, but she won't admit it!)

In my best attempt at patience I tried undoing the ribbon and bow wrapped around the paper. I get the rolled eyes from the wife and realize I'm not fooling anyone. I tear into that wrapping paper like a ravenous Bear (Grylls). Inside I find a peculiar book. It takes me a moment to realize what it is (still thinking about that darn pig picture!), I've got a book completely stuffed to the brim of some really awesome graffiti. I've always loved graffiti, and after looking through the book I realized it was the same book I had skimmed through at my local book store what had to have been 3-4 months before.

I glanced at my wife, who was shaking her head laughing at my surprise and excitement, and exclaimed 'This is Awesome!' She simply continued laughing.

As we left, and in the following hours, I continued to mull over what could be in the other package. I had a few ideas, especially after the pig picture, but I didn't want to guess, and get my hopes, only to be let down.

We were finally on the way home. My wife kept jokingly questioning if we needed to stop anywhere to pick anything up. I yelled 'No!' or 'Nope!' (which she responded to with '...Chuck Testa' - there's hope for her yet!) to each mocking question. We pulled into our parking spot, I grabbed my book of graffiti, ran to the door and quickly fiddled my keys trying in vain to unlock the door. The lock picking in any of the Elder Scrolls series seemed simpler than this God-forsaken task of using this stupid key! I finally get the door open!

I rush to the refrigerator, throw open the door and find... Nothing. Everything in the fridge was previously there in the morning. I turn to my wife in frustrated confusion, with a hint of anguish, She rolls her eyes once again and points up to the freezer.

I realize at this moment that I am about to finally unmask the contents of the mystery 'refrigerate immediately' package. Not going to lie, I nearly peed my pants in anticipation.

I take a deep breath and grasp the handle of the freezer door. As I pull open the door I am assaulted by a cool blast of frost. In a nearly miraculous event the frosty clouds begin to part. I hear heavenly trumpets and angelic singing; doves fly around, twirling about in a rhythmic dance.

There, before me, is a neatly stacked tower of BACON!!!!!!!! I maniacally begin to count the separate packages. One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six... SEVEN! SEVEN FREAKING POUNDS OF BACON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I pull each of the packages out, closely examining each one in turn. They are all bacon! Not just your standard (but epic) bacon, but a specially picked assortment of Applewood and Smoked Gourmet Bacon! Needless to say I was extremely happy.

Today was a very emotional day for me. I experienced a taste of both extreme sadness and happiness. I was confused, curious, excited, and even childishly giddy. It was an absolutely fantastic day that would never had occurred had it not been for my undeniably amazing SS! I want to thank you for such an awesome experience you provided, and thank you even more for making my first reddit gift exchange so positively awesome!

TL;DR BACON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Serious TL;DR After a completely insane roller coaster of emotions kind of day I got an awesome book of graffiti art and 7 pounds of glorious bacon from my awesome SS!