(Image via eBay)

In Westeros, there is only one god, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: “I have an Iron Throne made of dildos.” Yes, you can win the Game of Thrones by buying a replica of the seat of the King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, Protector of the Realm, upon which one monarch after another has sat. Except this one is made of dildos.


His Grace Ralph Jones, First of His Name, won it in a contest, and is now selling the throne on eBay. As of press time, there were no posted bids, and the minimum price was £650 (Jones is from the once-mighty empire across the Narrow Sea, so only U.K. residents need apply). So for roughly $1000 USD, you can have your very own throne made of dildos, for all those times you were sitting in an ordinary chair, and wished it was six feet tall and made of dildos.

Jones is very up front about the fact that the throne is used (although one hopes the dildos are not), one of the dildos has come off of the throne (which could be a positive, as far as ease of use goes), and that he’s getting rid of it because it’s so big that “no space could handle it.” That’s what they all say, Ralph.