BRISTOL, CT—On the set of SportsCenter Sunday to talk about the upcoming college basketball season, analyst Dick Vitale expressed his extreme enthusiasm for college hoops, the autumn weather, and most shockingly, the latest al-Qaeda terrorist plots. “Subway bombings? I love it! Take it underground, baby!” Vitale shouted directly into the camera before calling al-Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri a “Prime-Time Player.” “Give me AQ over any other terrorist organization out there. Bar none. They’re scintillating, sensational, and you’ve got to love that dedication, baby!” While initially shocked and confused, fellow analyst Jay Bilas admitted at the end of the segment that Vitale’s excitement helped make al-Qaeda’s plot actually sound great.

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