Events Every Outdoor Movie Playing in Portland This Summer

Courtesy of Portland Parks & Recreation

Local lore states that summer only lasts a little over two months in Portland. And rather than spend these 60 glorious sun-soaked days inside with your laptop, why not grab a blanket or a lawn chair and head outside for some classic cinema at your local food cart pod or city park? It’s often free, and there’s no usher to shush you or take away your party favors.

American Psycho | Lionsgate Films

We can’t wait for Forrest Gump 2, in which Forrest accidentally becomes president after accidentally watching our current Commander-In-Chief give away top secret nuclear codes to Russians while dining at the Times Square location of Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.

Enjoy the original in all its glory, because the plot (a man’s family goes on vacation; he stays home and oogles his neighbor, Marilyn Monroe) is too good to not get remade with a buffoon like Eugene Levy as the lead.

Do Cartopia a favor: do NOT feed your cat to their ATM machine. It malfunctions enough as it is.

Pix is fancy, but not too fancy to sell you a round of Purple Hooters to pour out in Prince’s memory. RIP, Purple One.

Find your favorite Marla Singer-type on Tinder and snuggle up for this classic romcom about soap, split personalities, and anarchists living in a house on the verge of condemnation. Hits pretty close to home, doesn’t it?

Let’s face it: you’d vote for a guy like Mel Brooks’ Robin Hood in this 1993 classic if he ran for mayor.

Inglourious Basterds | The Weinstein Company

We love cosplay as much as the next person, but you better leave your big-ass sword at home for this one, bud.

Kinda like Jiro Dreams of Sushi, only French, and therefore containing a lot more indignant screaming and funny over the top pronunciations of the word “croissant”.

Who knew Wooderson would grow up to be a singing koala-turned-theater magnate?

Watch enough episodes of Check It Out! With Dr. Steve Brule and the idea of him playing a singing sheep makes more sense than not.

Orangutans want that fire, man.

Congratulations! You’re now old enough to pretend you understand the plot of this movie AND drink a beer while doing so!

#relationshipgoals

While we respect her work on The View, this 1992 film about a women’s baseball team in rural Wisconsin is without a doubt peak Rosie O”Donnell.

Coming soon to an arthouse theater near no one: The BGG Live, featuring Romanian NBA star Gheorghe Mureșan.

Diego Luna voices Manolo, a young man stuck between following his heart and doing what his family says. Had this been made 20 years prior, it likely would’ve been essential viewing in the Gen X slacker canon. Now it’s a kid movie. Go figure.

Brad Pitt made punching Nazis look cool far before the internet did.

Thinking of leaving the country for Paris? Watch this and think again, because if Gene Kelly can’t find a job there, then you sure as hell can’t either.

Be sure to stash enough tequila in your Hydroflask to make all this singing and dancing tolerable!

We’ll miss Chris Pratt’s affable “Andy Dwyer” days, but his transition into Hollywood hunk for this one is acceptable considering how it’s offset by several pages of wonderfully dumb one-liners.

Don’t go hunting eagles at home, kids.

Not to be confused with the French folk guitarist Django Reinhardt, whose reanimated corpse has sort of been having a moment as Devendra Banhart.

Would the existence of iPhones changed the course of this movie’s plot? I’m sure we’ll find out when Dreamworks funds a needless reboot some time in the next decade or so.

The hunt’s over -- they’re all hula-hooping in Colonel Summers park every Monday night. Wait, those are wooks, not Wilderpeople. Nevermind.

Finally! A massive screen open to children of all ages to finally debunk the NSFW myths of this aquatic-themed Disney classic!

It’s like Serpico with animals, for kids. What could go wrong?

Mahalo, my chill dudes!

If you’ve ever wondered if Seth Macfarlane can switch of his insufferable Family Guy swagger, this is your golden ticket.

If you’re the last person alive who hasn’t seen this early Tarantino classic, the scene in the diner where Steve Buscemi’s character gets school after claiming he doesn’t tip is a relatable enough reason alone to give it a watch.

fantastic beasts and where to find them | Warner Bros. Pictures

Bonus points for whoever shows up to watch this at a fancy-ish wine bar like Pix and has a pizza Postmate-ed in the middle of the movie.

Warning: a young Ethan Hawke’s epic scene in this film will make you very insecure about the blanket you brought with you that night. Give this choice extra attention before leaving the house.

Keep your eyes peeled for the modern update, Ashley Madison 3: the Reckoning.

All the joy of Legos and none of the agony of stepping on the damn things and having to pick them out of your feet!

A movie about ancient Polynesia with no music by Jack Johnson? A miracle!

Be sure to bring you “LA LA LAND WAS ROBBED” signs -- it’ll be a hoot!

Any steampunk riff on X-Men that’s good enough to get Samuel L. Jackson on board is good enough for us!

Amazon delivery drones make the conceit of this movie a little wonky, but suspension of disbelief and voiceover work by Andy Samberg does wonders in making this entertainment for even the most cynical of Techbros.

If you’re too young to understand the argument between the cinematic and director’s cuts of this hallowed sci-fi classic, it’s time to get woke to the reality of our android future before the sequel hits theaters this October!

Perhaps an enterprising chef will have a sausage special on deck for the evening?

This is guaranteed to be much more interesting than your nanny cam footage of the family dog, but keep recording anyways. Bob Saget would love for you to send him all the footage you’ve got.

Anyone who claims to know what this movie was actually about is either a huckster or an unemployable film student (or both)... but damn was it beautiful!

He’s one bad dude.

RIP NASA.

Be sure to check out Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon before re-watching this classic SNL port -- you’ll never look at Alice Cooper the same way again.

Nashville hesher-punk duo Jeff the Brotherhood work all kinds of magic with just three strings, so this is definitely worth a watch.

Do not try this at home!

Wait, that poster all your ex-boyfriends had in their dorm rooms was based on a movie? Trippy!

So, every day in Portland for 9 months straight? Fun!

As if we needed another reason to rejoice in seeing “Raiders” and “Lost” in the same sentence! Good luck in Vegas.

This is B-grade campy horror at its finest, friends. Only a sucker would miss the chance to see this on the roof of a fancy-ass hotel in a fancy-ass neighborhood.

Remember when Val Kilmer was normal? Neither do we. But he sure did try, didn’t he?

This is not a Pokemon Go workshop. Why are you still playing that game?

Life in Portland is like a bof of Moonstruck Chocolates: fancy, expensive, and too cute for anyone’s own good.

Third time’s a charm, eh?

He’s far too psychotic to ever work with the Coen Brothers again, which is a shame because they did a serviceable job of fooling us into thinking that Nicolas Cage may actually be a pretty chill dude.

What’s more baffling: the idea that the original was far too highbrow to reboot with an all-female cast, or the name of this park?

This would be better in a park if you’re trying to get a hardy LARP sesh in beforehand, but Pix has mead on their menu every now and then, so this will do.

Wes Anderson + Roald Dahl = twee hipster dad overload!

Try as they may, the Darkness is still a poor surrogate for Spinal Tap. You have to actually be cool first, then you get the hilarious documentary. Sorry dudes.

This is NOT a real life meetup for jackasses who cause trouble in Internet comments sections, but they may show up anyways. Plan accordingly.

This Coen Brothers southern-fried send up of The Odyssey only gets better with age.

This would’ve been an excellent opportunity for McDonald’s to bring back the legendary szechuan McNuggets sauce they rolled out for Mulan. They’ll probably re-release the McRib again for the millionth time instead. Si

I ain’t afraid of no ghosts, but I am really afraid of this wonderful cat pod finally getting sold off to developers. Stand tall, Chicken & Guns! We need you!

Oldsmobiles and wood chippers, dontcha know?

James Franco’s awesomely bad unofficial interpretation of From G’s to Gents hero Riff Riff is a career-making performance in our opinion, but the tenor of most Harmony Korine films is a bit too left-of-center for your average Riff Raff fan to really know or care about what’s happening on screen. It’s a shame, really, because a more real depiction of Florida has yet to see the light of day.

Beetlejuice | Warner Bros.

And thus began the Disney Corporation’s off-canon exploits into the Star Wars universe. There will be many more, but at least this one was of above-average watchability.

Everyone knows when someone calls a couple “cute” it’s the Beauty and the Beast dynamic they’re actually referring to.

Remember when Alec Baldwin was a normal guy who wasn’t typecast as a tyrannical office overlord?

Boston accents, Sean Penn crying, and enough fancy wine to make all of that tolerable!

Please refrain from tap dancing and smoking “jazz cigarettes” on the life-size chessboard.

Get to the chopper! Wait, wrong Arnold movie.

Ah yes, the simpler times when Wes Anderson didn’t spend 5 years laboring over set design and perfect montage music. A true classic.

Looking for french fried taters? You’re in luck! Potato Champion has ya covered!

Nope, still not a documentary about Rush Limbaugh. Soon, my friends.

How do you say “manic pixie dream girl” in French?

This would still be happening in the high desert of Eastern Oregon if it weren’t for Mel Brooks or the internet.

Edward Scissorhands | 20th Century Fox

Show up dressed as a Cenobite, then head to the Lovecraft afterwards for a relatively normal evening of paranormal-posi bar antics.

Stay tuned for Edward Fidget Spinnerhands, coming to a screen near you in summer of 2018.

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