Imagine my excitement when I got a text from my landlord saying "Your order is here."

Me: "I didn't order anything..."

The realization that my gift had arrived left me with a feeling not unlike that of a child playing with a puppy.

I raced to the liquor store where my packages get delivered to. I was like Scrooge when he learned that he was not going to hell.

[You there boy! Here's a quarter, buy a cheap ass turkey!]

it was an unmarked box. WHAT COULD IT BE? I run home and find a wrapped box in the unmarked box. BOXCEPTION! There was a letter. I read it. And then I opened the wrapping and what I saw would surely make Harriet Tubman squeal so hard she'd derail the underground railroad.