There has been too much blood. Too much death. Too much destruction.The time has come to set the record straight.It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be the answer to all the chaos spinning through the New Republic. Part of the solution, not part of the problem. Certainly not one of the chief perpetrators.But you know what they say about the best-laid plans of Ranats and men.It started out perfectly. I was chosen by Grand Admiral Thrawn to be the new heir to the Rebel leadership and to the new Jedi Order that he knew would arise at my hand. The confrontation at Mount Tantiss went off without a hitch, all the noise and smoke and confusion completely masking the fact that that crazy Jade woman nailed the wrong guy.Or maybe she nailed the right guy. That was what she’d been ordered to do, you know.Either way, that was it for Luke Skywalker, hero of the Rebellion. When Han and Leia and the others made their mad scramble out of there, I was the one they took along.It went all right for awhile. Thrawn fed me instructions and orders, and I was able to handle things reasonably well.Sure, there were adjustments to be made. My taste in food didn’t always fit Skywalker’s. Hot chocolate was the worst. I could choke it down when the situation called for it, but the stuff always seemed unnatural. But those were minor annoyances, and I got through them.And like I said, the game started all right. But slowly, I could see things starting to go sideways. The Jedi Academy, for instance. Half the time I didn’t have the slightest idea what I was doing. Maybe the real Luke wouldn’t have, either. But he wasn’t the one on the scene. I was. Corran Horn helped out some, but I got the impression he was making it up as he went along just as much as I was.Exar Kun knew, of course. He cackled nonstop about it when we were alone. But in the end we got through it.Thrawn really wanted me to get a sample so that he could make his own Exaar Kun. He seemed very put out that without a body I couldn’t do that. He was miffed about Callista, too, for the same reason.He was mollified, though, with the samples I later got him from Prince Xizor and Durga the Hutt. He still likes to play holochess with Xiizor, though the Falleen sulks a lot about not being allowed to go back to Black Sun. Why Thrawn keeps Duurga around I don’t know. Still, there’s a marsh behind the king’s palace, and Hutts do tend to keep down the frog population.Life went on. The Black Fleet crisis was dealt with, and the Caamas Document thing, and a whole lot of other troubles.But the strains were beginning to show. I was starting to get too old for all this, and even the Grand Admiral started wondering aloud if I needed to be replaced by a new model. I was thinking maybe that might not be a bad idea when I suddenly came to a new, horrific realization.The goal was no longer peace and justice across the galaxy. That had been my goal, but not Thrawn’s. Maybe never had been.His goal had become to collect a complete set of clones.Where this insanity came from I have no idea. Maybe by that time it wasn’t even Thrawn pulling the strings anymore. Maybe he’d already been replaced by a Thraawn clone. Maybe we were even up to Thraaawn by now—the galaxy has been pretty hard on Grand Admirals over the years.I first noticed it when the Vong came in and dropped that moon on Chewbacca. Thrawn (maybe Thraawn. Whoever.) had a Chewbaacca clone up and running practically before the dust settled.He used to like pairing him up with Duurga for arm-wrestling. But after Chewbaacca pulled one of Duurga’s arms out of its socket, he stopped those bouts. He hasn’t let Chewbaacca anywhere near Duuurga since.That was bad enough. But then Thraawn (Thraaawn. Whoever.) took it even further. He started making his clones, but then substituting them for people before they died, snatching the originals and taking them back to live at his secret fortress in the Patagonia system.I’m serious. He started by putting in Anaakin for Anakin. When he got away with that, he went on to Maara, then Jaacen (we’re really sorry about Jaacen, by the way), then Gilaad Pellaeon, and literally dozens of others. Even now, there are clones running around all over the place, on both sides of whatever war we’re in at the moment. (After everything I’ve been through, I’ve started to lose track.) Nataasi Daala’s a clone, Jaagged Fell’s a clone, and I’m pretty sure Jaina is at least on Thraaaawn’s to-do list.Some people take so many chances with their lives that they’re already up to their third or fourth clone. I’ve lost track as to whether it’s Boooba Fett or Booooba Fett inside that Mandalorian armor. (The armor’s probably on its second or third generation, too. Fett gets shot at a lot.)The only ones I’m absolutely sure are still the originals are Han and Leia. I think.It’s been a long, long road. And I, for one, am looking forward to ending my part of it. Luuuke is already in place, so if you want to interpret this message as simply a deranged bit of nonsense from some crazy old wizard, I’ll understand.But whether you believe me or not, please believe that I’m deeply sorry for my part in this collector’s nightmare you’ve all been thrown into.I go now to Patagonia, to the palace of the former pirate Roberts, and I will not be coming forth again.Farewell, and may the Faarce be with you.-Luuke Skywalker