Recently, I put to rest some terrible advice women are always being given, “guys will lose respect for you if you sleep with them too soon” and I wanted to do the same thing for something men believe, that all women want a well endowed man. Here’s how 50 women responded to the question “does dick size matter?” Tally at the bottom.

1. Meryl, 28

A super small/soft dick isn’t going to do anything but a huge dick hurts, usually, so like, it just needs to be normal sized/hard/he’s into it.

2. Jennifer, 28

It doesn’t matter to me as long as it isn’t too big or too small.

3. Ali, 22

I don’t want to be scared of it. Average is your friend.

4. Ashley, 26

It depends on a lot of factors — for me, it matters because I’m short so a dick that’s too big (read: long) definitely hurts in the “ow, you’re hitting my stomach” kind of way. But one that’s too small–you know, small enough to get lost in his pubic hair–doesn’t do anything for me (legit asked, ‘is it in?’). But essentially, it comes down to whether or not he knows how to use it…cliche, I know, but it’s the truth.

5. Eve, 28

Yes, my ex had a very short one that was thick and it did nothing for me.

6. Alex, 28

My last boyfriend had a long but super skinny one, which was weird. I don’t think it matters in general.

7. Tiffany, 27

I honestly can’t really tell if it’s bigger or smaller than the last guy or what’s “average.” I mean I would notice if it was huge or tiny, I think, but that’s never happened to me. They all look pretty much the same and I think the difference is if a guy knows how to fuck.

8. Lacey, 29

It doesn’t matter as much as whether a guy is good in bed.

9. Rachel, 26

One guy was TOOOO big. It felt like someone trying to fit their entire body inside me. He was literally like if someone was like “here let me put this jar of tomato sauce inside you.” Jeez, I’d love to but NO I FUCKING PHYSICALLY CAN’T.

10. Amy, 26

Not unless it’s giant or tiny. I like the happy medium ;)

11. Steph, 28

The first guy I was with had what I thought was probably a pretty big dick but he kept being like “look at this big dick I am fucking you with” so it was bad.

12. Nikki, 27

[Somewhat famous person]’s dick was literally a chapstick. Like a baby. The sex was so awful.

13. Lindsey, 26

It’s not size that makes a guy good. Or bad.

14. Jamie, 24

I think a guy with a big dick is more confident, so he’s better in bed.

15. Kristin, 30

It only matters if it’s too extreme one way.

16. Jackie, 24

Not unless I am doing it wrong?

17. Laura, 25

Uhhh yeah it does.

18. Jen, 26

To an extent, I don’t want a thumb.

19. Tina, 29

Dick size is wayyyy down the list when it comes to whether a guy is good in bed: confidence, rhythm, making me comfortable, attraction—those are all much more important.

20. Tori, 25

Um, I don’t really care as long as it isn’t weird looking.

21. Megan, 30

I don’t care about dick size really.

22. Lisa, 35

Making good or bad sex about dick size is a sad excuse for people who won’t figure out how to have good sex. It’s very rare that you can’t figure out how to have good sex with a guy, it’s just that you can’t do the same thing with different body types and expect it to feel the same.

23. Rachel, 25

I’ve never had too big, but I’ve had too small. So yes.

24. Jessica, 29

No. Guys are too hung up on this.

25. Dina, 28

A guy with a smaller penis is more attractive than a guy with a bigger penis who needs you to be all in awe of what he thinks is some cosmic accomplishment but really is just genes or biology or whatever.

26. Lucy, 21

I don’t think so…

27. Shannon, 25

I think it would be awkward to be with a guy with a small penis. It’s the elephant in the room.

28. Danielle, 27

I would be grossed out, but I would get over it. It wouldn’t affect my feelings towards the guy.

29. Kendra, 28

I think every girl holds her breathe a little bit because she doesn’t want to be with a guy with a weird penis for the rest of her life. But it’s only bad if it’s really irregular, otherwise it doesn’t matter at all.

30. Sarah, 20

It doesn’t matter the size as much as it does how you use it I think.

31. Danielle, 23

It could only make me like a guy more if he has a nice penis, but not less if he isn’t going to be a penis model anytime soon.

32. Amanda, 31

I honestly don’t really notice. I’ve seen a ton of dicks in my life and they all pretty much look and feel the same.

33. Sophie, 24

It’s not a dealbreaker unless it’s really small but in general, the bigger the better, within reason.

34. Amanda, 25

As a petite girl I can attest to the fact that big dicks are overrated. There are rare exceptions of men with honed skills that make it less likely to be painful, but usually you occupy yourself with taking so many precautions (positions, depth, etc) that in the end you just sort of lose the mood. Average is perfect in my book.

35. Martha, 28

It mostly doesn’t matter, except in the rare parabolic extremes like the top and bottom 1 percent.

36. Marie, 28

I’ve never experienced either extreme so as far as my life is concerned the answer is “it doesn’t matter.”

37. Laura, 18

I don’t think so.

38. Amy, 30

Really huge is scary, but because I like tall slender white guys I’ve never encountered that.

39. Stacey, 30

It doesn’t matter unless it’s small.

40. Jen, 27

As long as I don’t have to ask if it’s in, I am happy.

41. Penelope, 30

It doesn’t matter at all.

42. Cara, 23

I’ve never had sex so I don’t really know, I think it’s not aesthetically pleasing if it’s smaller though. But it does make oral sex way easier.

43. Megan, 25

I prefer them to be on the big side.

44. Angie, 33

In a perfect world, they’re all medium size.

45. Amanda, 26

When I think about the good sex I have had and the bad sex I’ve had, there’s no correlation between what size they were. So I’d say no.

46. Jane, 26

To me yes, but I know most women don’t care.

47. Liz, 26

Ultimately guys can (and should IMO) compensate in other ways if they’re lacking in size or stamina, etc.

48. Marissa, 26

No. Prime example: Joe used magnum condoms and Mathias didn’t, but Mathias was a better lover.

49. Sandy, 26

Limitedly, yes. There’s a range in which it doesn’t really matter at all, but there is such a thing as too big or too small. And girth is generally more relevant than length, but again, with a range.

50. Britney, 30

It doesn’t matter to me, we’re talking about a person I have to like very much already at the point I am seeing their dick.

The truth? Size matters. If you have more, you can do less and still satisfy a woman. In other words, it’s the meat, not the motion.

I’d say it’s more about the size of a man’s tongue, if you know what I’m sayin’. (Oral sex is KEY.)

Too small—still hungry, too big—tummy ache.

Yes, it matters. I don’t want to have to be telling a man to stop tickling me. I need to feel my man waayyy up.

I always hear people say it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean. Well, if that’s the case a lot of men drown out at sea. I’m not looking for a cruise ship, but at the same time I need a decent size boat to ride the rough seas.

I’d like to say it doesn’t, but it does to an extent. However, it’s less length and more girth?

As long as you can feel it and I mean decently feel it, then it doesn’t matter that much. There’s nothing sadder than having to ask if it’s in when it IS in—it’s just super uncomfortable and embarrassing for both.

Sorry to anyone who wants to believe otherwise but, yes, size does matter. A small penis can’t create the same sensation that a larger one can, and it can make certain maneuvers difficult—it might fall out during doggy style or when switching positions, for example.

Girth is important. Length, less so. I’ve personally never come across one that was too short or too long, but I have met one that was too skinny, and this was when I was 20, so it’s obviously not an issue of me being ‘old,’ ‘loose,’ or ‘stretched out,’ as some butthurt dudes might assume.

I’ve been with just over a dozen men whose penises ranged from 5 inches to 14 inches and were of various girth. Size does matter when it comes to having an orgasm through intercourse, and length is less important than girth. My personal preference would be 9 to 10 inches and thick enough that I can’t quite close my hand around it. This size affords me the ability to have vaginal orgasms in multiple positions and isn’t so large that fellatio is a challenge.

I can’t handle them if they’re too big. I’m fragile and it definitely is way more painful than pleasurable if a guy is huge. At the same time, you don’t want someone too small that you can barely feel or enjoy. A good average penis tends to do the trick for me.

It matters. I dated a guy with a penis the size of my pinky, and sometimes I wasn’t even sure if we were having sex. The whole big hands, big feet thing is a total lie. He doesn’t need a foot-long, 4-inch-round penis, but there’s got to be something substantial.

As long as you’re not under average, I’d say no. We’re not going to be disappointed if you don’t whip out an anaconda.

Size doesn’t matter unless you’re either really big or really small. This is the one area of life where it is completely acceptable — in fact, preferred — to be average. Average is good. If I reach down there and feel a basic 5-6 inch snake, I’m happy. I’m excited, even. 1. Because every girl’s worst nightmare is going home with a guy with a micropenis and 2. Because I won’t have to fake enjoying a guy’s footlong ramming into my cervix for half an hour. Neither of those situations are ideal. Average penises are the best.

I look down. He’s hard. And he’s tiny. Erect, he’s probably about the length of my middle finger and the width of a baby carrot. Although it’s not a micropenis—I mean, I can see it—it’s definitely the smallest I’ve encountered and absolutely at odds with what I expected from his broad-shouldered, rugby-player-like build. My heart falls to my stomach in disappointment as I drop onto my knees, wondering if his penis will look larger up close. I cautiously take it in my mouth as he moans thankfully. I can still easily talk, simply shifting his penis, straw-like, to the side of my mouth. ‘Feel good?’ I murmur, the question mark at the end of the sentence begging for this situation to end. In response, he pulls me up and onto the bed. ‘It’s a bit small, isn’t it?’ he says as he pulls out a condom. It’s not so much a question as a statement of fact. ‘It only matters what you do with it,’ I say, trying to be encouraging as I guide him into me. I can barely feel him thrusting, and he keeps slipping out. He orgasms. I don’t.

I don’t want to sugarcoat it: I know that for some girls, including my bookish writer friend, small dicks are a dealbreaker. And that’s fine, because we all have our own personal preferences. I won’t deny that I’ve been in situations in the past where a guy’s lack of size certainly didn’t help matters. However, I can sooner imagine myself seriously dating a guy with a small dick than I can a guy who’s shorter than I am—that’s just me.

67. Britney, 30

I once met this guy with a really small one, and the first thing that came to my mind was whether Guinness Book of World Records knew about him. We had sex once and it was terrible.

The tally:

It doesn’t matter as long as it’s not too big or too small: 27

It doesn’t matter at all: 29

The bigger, the better: 11