-- Mrs. Clayton Urgle has been out marching with that MADD group. Her kids haven't had a decent meal in 3 days.

-- Emily Heckle is protesting the opening of the new dirty book store down the block. Her kids are going to school in unironed clothes.

-- Smedley Fishburn threw a weekend party, his wife made him clean up the place and return 8 kegs to the distributor on Monday morning, 1 wasn't quite empty. Monday afternoon his buddies returned and guess what? No beer!

-- Marvin Wilbing cracked open a beer while he and his wife and kids were driving home from church. She screamed at him, upset him so badly that he spilled it all over his new Garfield tie.



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