One of the hardest things for writers trying to break out of amateur habits to do is to stop talking to the reader and just letting the characters talk to each other. What is “Talking to the reader”? It’s when dialogue is altered to give exposition or background not to the other characters for reasons of plot, but to the person reading the story. It’s especially prevalent in comics, where writers don’t have the luxury of just allowing for a chunk of narration between dialogues; not that that approach is terribly better, but that’s another conversation. Let’s take a look at some prime offenders:

As you know, Bob: If you ever catch yourself having a character say “As you know” or some similar, stop and have a really good think if someone would actually have a need to relay this information. Think about it: how often do the basics of life on earth ever actually come out of your mouth? What conversations include such ever-present, basic information? I’m not saying they don’t exist, they just have to be handled with finesse:

“Darn this president! Gas prices are too high!”

“Oh, come on, you do realize there are three branches of government, right? The Judicial and Legislative aren’t just for decoration, the Executive branch can’t do everything by itself.”

“Daddy, why do you plant a tree every year?”

“Because without trees we wouldn’t have oxygen to breathe, sweetie.”

“How long has it been already? Geeze, we can warp a man to the other side of the galaxy in five minutes but it’s twenty minutes to get our order taken?”



I realize speaking to an idiot and a child aren’t the most likely scenarios for your characters, but it’s very hard to rationalize explaining basic things the reader should know about the world to someone that lives within that world. One solution is to limit that kind of exposition only to things that are absolutely vital for the reader to know right then. In both comic and prose, “Show, don’t tell” remains a valuable rule of thumb.

Hi, here’s my backstory: Everyone likes talking about themselves, sure, but I’ve seen too many introductions read like a resume’. “Hi, my name’s Susan, I’m from Indiana, I just graduated from university at 19 and I heard you’re looking for a roommate?” No one would bust out that much background detail on their lives unprompted. Even people who love to talk about themselves will say something like “Did I ever tell you about my time in the bahamas?” or “That’s my degree from Harvard up on the wall, there.”

One way to make characters reasonably espouse their backstories is to have something obviously different about them that would inspire other people to ask about it frequently, things like “Hi, Parker Adelson. Don’t worry about staring, I’m used to it. The scar’s from an IED on my first tour in Afghanistan.” or “Thank you for this interview, but before you ask, the green hair isn’t dyed; it just started growing out that way after an accident when I was fourteen…” or “Thanks for meeting with me, and I’m eager to try this out, but I need to know first that you’re aware of the legal implications of a relationship with an android.”

Whatever’s happening, make sure you’re allowing for questions and conversation. Let the expositor pause every once in a while for the other characters to make comments or ask questions, even if they’re wrong. The internet is a perfect example of this- virtually no one brings up correct English grammar save for when they’re correcting other people who’ve used incorrect English.



Mojo Jojo Syndrome: If someone asked you to “Borrow your vehicle that uses an internal combustion engine and gasoline to propel me along the roads to my destination,” you’d think they were crazy. Yet in nearly every sci-fi story out there, you’ll find someone at some point describing a piece of otherwise common for the setting technology with that level of detail and specificity. If you must, two good ways are to compare it to a newer/older technology (”This is one of those new electric cars- no gas, just energy.”) or to have something be wrong with it (”Watch that one, the alternator’s acting up.” “Oh, fantastic. Not like the car needs electricity or anything…”)

Remember that most of the time when people are explaining things, unless they’re teachers, politicians, newscasters, or other professions whose job it is to communicate information to large groups of people, it’s almost always a reactive process, not a proactive one. Explanations are given to answer questions, specifics are given to sharpen generalities, corrections are given to fix mistakes. For someone to volunteer information to someone, there’s got to be a good impetus, a reason why one person would demand another’s attention.

Note: This does not include narratives that are explicitly conversational with the reader, like so:

“You promise you’ll stay in budget this trip?” He asked.

“Absolutely,” I replied.

First thing I did when I landed at the airport was rent a Jaguar. I mean, how can you blame me, just look at those things, right?

That’s a more literal “Talking to the Reader”, and it’s a conscious stylistic choice. And even when using it, the dialogues the narrative reports on and depicts are still made to only be talking to each other, with talking to the reader reserved for narration outside the temporal confines of the conversation.

Thanks again for joining me on Soy’s Writing corner, and remember, if you have any questions, comments, or topics in particular you’d like to see, go ahead and let me know! In the meantime, check out my collections of work and don’t forget I’ve got editing services available for any other writers out there!

