ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Pugs are an abomination and shouldn’t be a thing – that’s the hypothesis for a predicted week-long study into why some members of society get the companion dog.

Citing a number of facts, such as their poor athletic ability, breathing difficulties and other genetic issues as to the reason why the pugs are gross, the CSIRO said they plan to get to the bottom of the popular debate.

“We understand that some people find them cute and attractive,” said Glen Macanally, a leading researcher at Australia’s peak scientific body.

“But the harsh reality is that each day a pug is alive is testament to torture. Their grunts and wheezes might seem funny and adorable, but I can assure you that the dog is hoping it’ll end up in the wheel-well of a Falcon as soon as it can,”

“However, they remain popular in the country. Each to their own, but what this study aims to achieve is understanding those people who think it’s morally and socially acceptable to own a pug.”

In the quest to investigate their hypothesis, the CSIRO scientists will road test the pug thoroughly.

That includes everything from seeing if they taste any good, to seeing how quickly they can be housebroken and trained.

The results are expected by EFOY 2018.

More to come.