In This Corner... Ladies and gentlemen! The Disney Boxing Commission proudly presents a full card of theme park fisticuffs between your favorite Disney attractions, restaurants, and resorts. There will be winners, and there might be blood. A Disney theme park guidebook like no other! Professional boxing judge Dan Sisneros leads a who's who of Disney experts, including Len Testa, co-author of The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World, in unique, round-by-round showdowns between evenly matched theme park opponents. Do you ever wonder what's better, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad or the Matterhorn Bobsleds? Now you're going to find out, as punches fly. Over multiple rounds each "boxer" is rated on various factors such as theming, queues, backstory, Imagineering, and many others. The judges score each round, evaluating and explaining the good and the bad, and then declare a winner. No matter how much you know about the Disney theme parks, you've never read about them like this before! Among the fourteen bouts on our colossal card: Jungle Cruise vs Kilimanjaro Safaris

Dole Whip vs Mickey's Premium Ice Cream Bar

Haunted Mansion (Disneyland) vs Haunted Mansion (Disney World)

California Screamin' vs Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Let's have a clean fight, with no punching below the FastPass!

Table of Contents Foreword Introduction Chapter 1: Gran Fiesta Tour vs Journey into Imagination with Figment Chapter 2: New Orleans Mint Julep vs LeFou’s Brew Chapter 3: California Screamin’ vs Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster Chapter 4: American Music Machine vs The British Revolution Chapter 5: Haunted Mansion (Disneyland) vs Haunted Mansion (Disney World) Chapter 6: The Pirate Room (Caribbean Beach) vs The Royal Room (Port Orleans Riverside) Chapter 7: Monsters, Inc. vs Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride Chapter 8: Impressions de France vs Reflections of China Chapter 9: Jungle Cruise vs Kilimanjaro Safaris Chapter 10: Carthay Circle vs Hollywood Brown Derby Chapter 11: DINOSAUR vs The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh Chapter 12: Dole Whip vs Mickey’s Premium Ice Cream Bar Chapter 13: Big Thunder Mountain Railroad vs Mattherhorn Bobsleds Chapter 14: Prince Charming Regal Carrousel vs Stitch’s Great Escape Afterword: The Two Sides of Dan Sisneros Appendix A: Scoring Officials Appendix B: How to Score a Professional Boxing Match

“Are you the Dan Sisneros?” is not what Dan was expecting to hear when we first met. But my dad was a big boxing fan, and, as I was growing up, professional fights were shown almost nightly on cable networks big and small. Over the years, I must’ve heard Dan’s name announced dozens of times for the bouts he judged on those TV broadcasts we watched. And if I’m being honest, every time I say Dan’s name in my head, it’s in the voice of Michael Buffer. Boxing isn’t anywhere nearly as popular today as it was 20 or 30 years ago. Ask a hundred people to name the current heavyweight champion of the world, and you’d be lucky to find two who can (Tyson Fury, as I write this, and I had to look it up). Why? There are vastly more entertainment choices available instantly today, for one thing. And many people are put off by boxing’s potential long-term health effects. However, let’s not ignore boxing’s positive contributions to American society, particularly in the area of civil rights. As much as Jackie Robinson in baseball, fighters such as Muhammed Ali showed millions of Americans—both black and white—that African-American athletes could be world champions in any sport they played. I’d bet money that kids who grew up rooting for Joe Louis in the 1940s were more likely to support legislation like the Civil Rights Act of 1964, because nobody can see themselves telling their childhood hero to use a segregated water fountain. For Disney fans, another great thing about boxing is that its round-by-round scoring system is really close to the way that we argue about the best Disney attractions, food, and hotels. And that’s exactly the idea that Dan has used in this book. When we’re comparing rides, each round covers one specific aspect of the overall experience, such as location, theme, or detail. And, just like boxing, Dan has recruited different judges, with their own preferences, for scoring those rounds. There are a few surprises in this book—outcomes that you wouldn’t have expected just by looking at the names involved. But boxing is about matchups, and as you read the judges’ reasoning, you’ll often find yourself going along with what they’re saying. There’s undoubtedly a couple of decisions in this book where you’ll find yourself wondering what ride these judges were looking at, because you saw something completely different. And to that I say: Marvin Hagler got robbed, too. Enjoy the book!