Chapter 1

Jason had always considered himself a good person.

But lately he was questioning himself, questioning his motives, questioning his ability to control himself.

He had decided that he was either a mad person with a serious manipulative streak, or he was madly in love and would do anything for this woman.

Did he really just want her to be happy? Or did he know that keeping her happy would keep her around?

But if he was being manipulative, then why wasn’t he sleeping with her? Why wasn’t he wrapping her sexy legs around him every chance he got? Why wasn’t he constantly kissing her delectable lips and her soft, creamy skin? Why wasn’t he palming her beautifully round ass–

“Jason, is everything alright?”

He looked up from the newspaper and smiled when he saw the concern in Kayla’s beautiful green eyes as she sat next to him at the breakfast table. Her nicely sculpted eyebrows were pushed together, as she waited for his response.

Reaching over to gently pat her hand, he responded, “Yes, I’m absolutely fine.”

“Well, what were you just thinking about? You looked so upset.” She stood up slightly and leaned over the table, trying read his newspaper upside down.

“Were you reading this article about Joe Collins?” She laughed while starting to read it. “They’re calling him ‘the nicest man in Cincinnati.’ What do you think about that?”

Jason’s mouth felt dry, so he reached for his coffee before answering. He took a long sip, as Kayla waited for his answer. “Um… I think he probably is a really nice guy.”

She quipped playfully, “Liar.”

She sat back down, scooping of spoonful of yogurt, and then made eye contact with him as she put the spoon in her mouth.

Jason’s mind lingered on the beautiful sight, imagining her tongue swirling around. He was suddenly jealous of a piece of cutlery.

“Jason?”

He’d been here before. It felt like several times a week Kayla would catch him daydreaming about her, and then insist that he tell her what he was thinking. Jason reflected on how Kayla was not exactly nosy, she was simply exhaustive. When she wanted to know something, she would stop at nothing to find out. That was part of what he loved about her.

It occurred to him, and not for the first time, that she might want him to fess up.

It was tough. He knew he couldn’t lie to her. Instead, he knew to wait long enough for her to come up with her own untruth, and then he’d simply fail to correct her.

Sure, this was one sort of lie, but it was a better sort of lie than outright telling one.

Or so he told himself.

This morning, though, she seemed determined to get him to talk.

She eyed him as she buttered her toast, and then smothered it with apple jam.

He smiled, and asked, “What are you cooking tonight?”

“Nuh-uh. Tell me what got you all upset. You’re not changing the subject on me.”

He made a quick decision to tell her part of the truth. He pointed to the paper and asked, “What makes him a good person?”

She seemed interested. That was a good sign.

Jason continued, “Is it the good things he’s done, or is it the lack of bad things?”

Suspiciously, she raised an eyebrow. “Is this really what you were thinking about, or are you trying to lure me into an ethics discussion?”

“This is exactly what I was thinking about, and I don’t think there’s a good answer, so it’s not really worth talking about.”

She smiled, obviously seeming pleased to have gotten an answer.

Her smile brightened his entire spirit, somehow. When she was happy, he felt deeply satisfied, as if everything was right with the world.

She took a bite of her toast, still smiling. She was obviously thinking about what he had said. She raised her glass of orange juice, to take a sip, but stopped just before drinking. “If a person does a good thing for a bad reason, does it still count as a good thing?”

She watched him, curiously as she drank her juice, as if waiting for a certain reaction.

The way her bright eyes shone at him, over her glass, gave him a tingle deep inside. He couldn’t help but think what she would look like with her mouth full, looking up at him from between his legs.

He thought, Stop thinking about that! You’re already on thin ice here. He had to concentrate as to not look away in embarrassment for his additional lewd thoughts. Because she would definitely call him out on it and cutely pester him until he said why. And that was not a conversation he was ready to have with her.

Maybe after she graduated college, and after she could afford a place of her own, then maybe he could finally confess his feelings for her. But not until then. He couldn’t ruin what they had together.

Last semester, she had taken an ethics class, and they had spent several nights debating the nature of good and evil, human nature, and even spirituality. Jason had loved those conversations with Kayla. They’d sit on the couch, finishing wine from dinner, talking until they were both too tired to discuss any further. He’d even started reading a book by her favorite Austrian philosopher so that he could more actively participate in their conversations.

He smiled at her. “It’s too early in the morning for a philosophy conversation.”

She shrugged, and took another bite. Playfully, she said, “Well, you started it.”

When she finished her toast and stood up to clear her dishes, Jason silently sighed out of relief.

He’d gotten away with it.

He wasn’t sure how many more times he could avoid telling her, but he was determined to hold out as long as he could.

His determination was driven by his resolution that it was the right thing to do. Not telling Kayla how he felt was better for her. She needed to focus on school and feel free to live with him as long as she needed. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel pressured to be in a romantic relationship with him just to keep a roof over her head.

No. He would not be that guy.

As she rinsed her dishes, she spoke to him. “Tonight, I’m trying a new dish. It’s vegetarian.”

She looked over her shoulder with a hopeful look on her face, gauging his reaction.

Jason knew he would eat anything she made. It was part of the deal of her living with him. He didn’t cook, she loved to cook. Perfect match.

Before she had moved in, he was ordering take out almost every night. Otherwise, he’d make toast and fry an egg. That was the extent of his culinary expertise.

He took his plate over to the sink. He leaned against the counter, and looked at her. He liked that Kayla was shorter than him. She was the perfect height so that he would need to pick her up just a little bit to comfortably kiss her – and with her petite body, picking her up would be no problem.

She looked up at him, with a raised eyebrow, still waiting for his response.

“I’m sure I’ll love it. Just no more brussel sprouts.”

She laughed, “Oh, I’ll never make that mistake again.”

Kayla reached over to put her dishes in the dishwasher, and then reached for Jason’s plate.

He held onto it, not letting her take it. “I can put my own dish in the dishwasher.”

“Don’t you need to get to work?”

“Don’t you need to get to class?”

She looked at the clock. “Well, yes and no.”

He put his plate in the dishwasher, and then leaned against the counter again, waiting for the rest of her answer.

“Well, this morning’s class is optional. It’s for people who have questions about the upcoming trip.”

He had forgotten that her trip was this weekend; they were spending a few days sitting in on legislative sessions. “So, you’re not going to class?”

She looked at him playfully, almost seductively. He wondered if she knew the effect she had on him. She pivoted on her feet, seeming almost nervous to ask him something.

He crossed his arms, getting comfortable for the show. He’d wait her out and see what she wanted.

She finally smiled and said, “The only thing I’m worried about for the trip is getting up so early.”

He nodded, knowing that early mornings were not her favorite. He waited for the question, as she continued to pivot back and forth.

She bit her lip, looking up at him. “So… I was wondering if you’d help me. On Thursday morning.”

He wanted to ask her if she knew how damn cute she was. If she bit her lip like that and asked him to cut his toe off, he’d agree.

“Of course. What time do you need to be up?”

She bit her lip again. “That’s the thing, it’s really early. I need to leave by 4:30, so I’m thinking about having everything ready the night before, waking up at 4:00, just taking a shower, and then hopping in the car.”

He thought about the logistics. “Where is your car going to be while you’re gone?”

“We’re meeting at the Wal-Mart parking lot, so I can just leave it there. It’s only three days.”

He asked, “Would you mind if I drove you? Then you don’t have to worry about driving that early or about leaving your car?”

She shook her head, “No. I can’t ask you to do that.”

He smiled. She always put up a fight when he offered to do something for her. In fact, he realized, this was one of the only times she’s ever asked him for a favor. An odd sense of pride filled his chest. This was a milestone in their relationship.

“You’re not asking. I’m offering. Let’s just do that, OK? I don’t like the idea of your sleepy butt behind a wheel that early.”

Her gratefulness was evident in her facial expression. Her face was awash with something akin to relief.

He loved being responsible when she looked this way. He knew she was independent, didn’t like asking for help, hated relying on others, and was fiercely stubborn.

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his body, nuzzling her face into his chest. “Thank you, Jason.”

His chin rested on the top of her head, while his arms wrapped around her small frame. He felt her soft breasts push against his body, and tried not to get too excited.

He started talking without thinking, “You know I would do…” but then he cut himself off. He was going to say I’d do anything for you, but he saved it by starting over. “You know I am always happy to help. It’s the least I can do for how much you’ve helped me.”

She laughed into his chest. “Not this again. You have helped me way more than I’ve helped you.”

He began gently rubbing her back. “Agree to disagree. I suppose if we both feel like we’re getting the better deal, then it’s a successful arrangement.” Then he thought, a good partnership.

She finally broke the hug. “Well, I guess I should let you get to work. Thanks again.”

As he walked away and finished getting ready for work, he thought about the first time Kayla had thanked him for letting her live with him.

He remembered back to that entire week. He remembered how crazy it was to run into her in the first place.

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