please help, it's /u/antiSeptics and the mods have trapped me in hell

i've been serving out my hell sentence for a really long time now and i was close to accepting it, but i've picked up new information from my hell cell

- /r/smashcirclejerk is about to be bought out by /r/kappa

- paid DLC in the form of new flair will come

- nobody is allowed to talk about project m due to a deal with nintendo

- 6 minute team matches items on

- 21.99 a week for /r/smashcirclejerk content!!! oh the humanity!!!!

- they're secretly plotting to kill ccbuddyrider