Um...

I would legitimately give you mine. I mean I really, really would if it truly meant that you'd come do this to me.

But considering how my initial comment got downvoted so much, I'm willing to bet that nobody actually cares about me enough to even consider reading it, much less actually coming to my house, binding me up like this, and fucking me as hard and as long as they could.

So what would even be the point if I'm clearly not worth the trouble?