Taylor: Scar has good reason to be upset.

Alison: Interesting that their parents would name one Mufasa and the other Scar. Really asking for him to be evil.

Taylor: If I knew Jonathan Taylor Thomas was gonna be king before me I'd want hyenas to eat him too.

Hey! After Scar talks him into going to the elephant graveyard, Simba doesn't go on his own. Big plot point here: He first goes to Nala and asks her go with him. On the way there, Zazu from says they're betrothed, so she's a princess from the start.

Alison: Also, considering that Mufasa was the only adult male around when both Simba and Nala were born, they are probably related. Either way, princess status.

Taylor: Here's our first song. I think it's important that together they sing, "I Just Can't Wait to be King"

Alison: Sure, she intends to rule. It's her destiny as much as Simba's. Oh! Now here are the hyenas, the first time Simba is threatened and he just jumped behind Nala like a real coward.

Taylor: Simba has not won me over.

Alison: He's being a real dingus, no question.

Taylor: Just to be clear, they are running for their lives over piles of bones. Kids' movie.

Alison: It's fine if it's animals!

Mufasa saves Simba and Nala from the hyenas.

Taylor: Nala is sticking up for him and they hang their heads in shame together.

Alison: She's standin' by her man.

Taylor: She's the Ruth Madoff to his Bernie.

Taylor: Can we just point out Mufasa's hair is fab-u-lous. We've learned good hair is essential to lion rule.

Mufasa is trampled to death by wildebeests. Scar convinces Simba it's his fault. Simba runs to the outskirts of the Pride Lands, escaping death once more from the hyenas.

Alison: Simba doesn't take much convincing to run away from the body of his dead father and responsibilities.

Taylor: Simba still hasn't won me over.

Alison: Can we at least acknowledge that Scar is encouraging desegregation with lions/hyenas under his rule?

Taylor: Fair point.

Simba is now a grown lion, living the easy life with Timon and Pumba on the outskirts of the Pride Lands.

Taylor: Nathan Lane as Timon and Matthew Broderick as adult Simba? The Producers!

Alison: Exactly!

Taylor: Pretty sure "Hakuna Matata" means, "Give up! And smoke crack!"

Alison: Yeah, they do encourage Simba to be a stoner vegetarian. I think in real life wild pigs eat meat?

Taylor: Weren't they in Willow? They tried to eat Willow?

Alison: I know they were in Hannibal.

Nala now grown, stalks and tries to eat Timon and Pumba. Instead, she ends up in a wrestling match with a defensive Simba. The two are reunited for the first time since their childhood.

Taylor: MEET CUTE!

Alison: But they are physical equals. Oh man, she wins!

Taylor: Here comes the "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" song!

Alison: They totally have sex here, right?

Taylor: Cat penises are barbed.

Alison: Cat penises are so barbed. Kids' movie.