Andrew*, 32, moved away from Sydney two years ago to escape what he describes as the crippling pressures of the city's "gay bubble".

"I considered myself to be a really outgoing person. But that sort of environment really made me shrink.

"People sort of seeing you on face value and not really giving you much time of day if you didn't have a ripped six pack or if you weren't available to sleep around."

He says in the gay community, appearance can be currency.

"The gym is a conversation that comes up so early: 'Where do you gym? What do you do?'"

At one point though, he says he became "sucked into" the culture — and says people had "more time" for him when he was "more fit".

Body-shaming took its toll on his self-esteem.

"It felt like my worth was based on how I looked and not anything else about me," he says.

"I found it really, really tough."

So, after realising he wasn't acting his "cheery self", Andrew packed his bags and moved.

Unrealistic ideals of the 'gay body'

Andrew isn't alone in this experience.

Psychologist Rachel Simeone says gay men have a much higher level of body dissatisfaction than other people.

Among men who have eating disorders, 42 per cent are gay-identifying.

Some of Rachel's clients present with extreme eating and exercise disorders, anxiety and depression, and physical damage to their body.

"Different genders and sexualities might change the focus of what the ideal body is, but the main factor is unrealistic cultural ideals about body shape and size," she says.

"For everyone there are unrealistic body ideals that are pretty hard for the majority of people to achieve but there's a lot of pressure to conform with them."

She says even those who pass judgement might still be struggling.

"Generally, if a person is putting a large amount of worth on the physical appearance of others, I would suspect they are doing that to themselves as well."

How do you deal with the pressures to have that perfect bod? Share with us life@abc.net.au.

Thirst traps and body sculpting

Andrew says he feels the gay community in Melbourne is far more inclusive and accepting of diversity.

"I don't feel like I have to go to the gym in order to be a great person," he says.

Despite his newfound confidence, the thought of returning to Sydney for the Mardi Gras parade made him nervous and wary.

It's a feeling shared by many men, who cannot escape the community's obsession with body image on the eve of "Gay Christmas".

Social media is littered with thirst traps.

"Validate my biceps plz."

"Mardi Gras ready."

"Shredding for MG."

And businesses offer body sculpting services.

A business offering 'permanent fat reduction'. ( Supplied )

One person told ABC Life they cancelled their trip to Sydney because of anxiety about their body.

"I'd be the only one with a shirt on … it makes me feel like I'm no longer comfortable in a space that should be celebrating equality."

Another says being Indian felt like a handicap because LGBTQI+ events are mostly promoted with "shirtless muscly white guys with beards".

But some people told ABC Life body shaming wasn't tied to a particular city or event.

"There's very little body-positive content for men," Steve*, 17, says.

"As a chubby trans man who has struggled with eating disorders in the past, it's a difficult thing to cope with.

"It makes it harder to feel loveable and accepted by the community."

What can you do?

Rachel Simeone says there are key ways to deal with body image issues.

1. Find your people

This includes groups both in your community and online.

According to Rachel, considering who you follow on social media can be key.

"Choose things to look at and people to be around that reinforce things that make you feel good, rather than trying to fit into an unhealthy environment."

2. Say no to #fitspo

"'Fitspo' and 'no pain, no gain' isn't helpful," Rachel says.

"Our cardiovascular health [is important] and getting those good positive feelings and social inclusion and that we're not in pain and that we can relax.

"A healthy relationship with food includes all types of foods. If you're feeling guilt and shame, it's worth talking to an expert."

3. Stay mindful

"Talk to someone about things that aren't related to their physical appearance … such as whether you are smart, kind, loyal, honest," Rachel says.

"Consider the things your body can do regardless of shape or size: breathe, laugh, hug, dance."

And for Andrew, it's all about getting enough sleep, riding his bike, and doing weekly dance lessons.

"I feel so much more confident in myself. That pressure's just completely lifted."

4. Seek out further resources

Rachel says your relationship with exercise should leave you "feeling good and helping you with your other goals".

"And if it isn't, then it's worth talking to someone about it."

There are a number of resources and organisations out there, including:

Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras organisers say the event is about championing diversity "with varied body types, cultural backgrounds, ages and interest groups celebrated".

"From sporting and protest groups, bears, femmes, trans and non-binary, fetish and families — all walks of LGBTQI life are there and cheered on."

*Names have been changed for privacy.