Aren’t most news sources these days “The Daily Panicker”?

Arianna chose her job, not because it was easy, but because it was hard. She didn’t count on Sydney, whose presence adds a minimum of three standard deviations to… well, pretty much anything she’s involved in. The amount of spice she likes in food (that’s like, +10 SDs), knowledge of pop-culture trivia, chance of spontaneous distractibility, and of course, ease of doing public relations involving her.

Although for height, she’s actually only like -1.5 standard deviations, weirdly enough. That assumes the average woman in the US is 5′ 4″, which seems short to me. Maybe because most women wear some sort of heel all the time, but they seem taller to me. I would guess 5′ 5″ or 5′ 6″ honestly. This is from the same source that says the average male height is only 5′ 9″, which again, seems short to me. I probably have some sort of observation bias for tall people.

But much like Sydney, I digress.

Arianna’s been playing her deadly game with the press, and after Sydney made huge and repeated splashes with the press, any absence is sure to be noticed.

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