Corey Feldman needs $10 million. He knows how that sounds, but he promises it’s actually a conservative figure, considering what he plans to do with the money.

Feldman wants to make a feature film that exposes the people in Hollywood that he says have been abusing child actors for decades—including, at one point, Corey Feldman. He wants to direct and distribute it himself. He also wants to hire legal counsel and armed guards to protect him at all times, because the people he claims to be up against are allegedly major power players in Hollywood and beyond. They’ve already tried to tarnish his career—even tried to kill him, Feldman claims.

But he’s not really afraid anymore. He’s never had a normal life anyway. He’s Corey Feldman.

“I’ve had so much pain, so much anguish, and so much abuse in my life that most people probably would be dead,” the former child star tells Vanity Fair. “There’s so many times that I tried to kill myself as a child, so many times that I attempted suicide, so many times that I would sit there and wish and pray that somebody would just come by and knock me off. I used to think horrible thoughts all the time, because I didn’t believe that I was worth existence. I really didn’t. I couldn’t understand why God kept me here.”

Now he knows. It’s so he can speak truth to power about the people who he says abused him, about the pedophiles who have allegedly hurt so many children throughout the industry. “It’s all connected to a bigger, darker power,” says Feldman. “I don’t know how high up the chain that power goes, but I know that it probably is outside of the film industry too. It’s probably in government; it’s probably throughout the world in different dark aspects.”

After numerous women accused Harvey Weinstein of harassment and assault at the beginning of October, speaking up about sexual misconduct in Hollywood has become an odious but necessary near-daily event. Many more big-name players have been accused by multiple people of abusing their power: Brett Ratner, Kevin Spacey, Roy Price. And as the dominoes continued to fall, people starting paying attention to Corey Feldman again, asking him to finally name the alleged abusers he’s been alluding to for years, the secret sexual predators he says prey on child actors. Feldman mentioned one, Martin Weiss, by name in his 2013 memoir, Coreyography, and used an alias, Ron Crimson, for another. But hasn’t named more, because he’s wary of retaliation.

In the wake of the Weinstein scandal, Feldman made an unorthodox decision. He didn’t want to go to the police; he says he did so once, in Santa Barbara in 1993, and the authorities did nothing. The Santa Barbara Police Department disputes his claim, saying its records “do not indicate that he named any suspects.”