He wrote his suicide note in his own blood, as it was flowing out of him. It was addressed to me. He was apologizing for the administrative headaches that he anticipated his death would cause.

He was in his mid-30s, and I was only in my 20s, but I was his company commander, and apparently the only person he related to at work. The MPs brought me the note days later, saying this was a new one on them, but since he had not succeeded, technically no crime had occurred, so they were delivering his note. That was a strange day. I do not expect a lot of us get letters written in blood.

He had been found in time, and I'd already seen him in the hospital, so I expected it because he told me. But I had not seen the signs in time, ahead of the time, to prevent the whole process.

He was in his 40s, fit and intelligent, near the top of his class at West Point and in every military program after that. We both taught at West Point, but did not meet until Iraq. There, we both did things relating to a particular kind of force. He was upset by a letter a contractor sent calling him a fool. We went on one last mission, down into Dora to reclaim a site which would become a headquarters for a part of the Iraqi forces. The next day he and I both briefed the commanding general on our specific topics. Then he went back to his hooch, and a few hours later put his 9mm to his head. But I had not seen the signs in time, ahead of the time, to prevent him.

Want me to go on? I can. Oh, how I can. But that would be beside the point.

The point is that we are losing men and women, and we should not be. Not now, not in the 21st century. We should see these signs and step in, and me and my Army are failing so far. But then, so are you. We can work to prevent the suicides of those in uniform. But we need you, all of you, to step in when the soldier is no longer a soldier, but a "veteran."

The VA just put out new numbers. Suicides are spiking among young veterans.

Gentlemen, this is a scourge. It must be purged. We, as men, must help our fellow men and women and change this situation. So take the time and do a little research of your own. It really won't take that long, but if you have a veteran with you, especially a young combat veteran, just keep a weather eye open. Talk, learn, listen, and pay attention. It really is not hard. Better that than looking back and remembering, and dreaming of what you might have fking done differently, for the rest of your entire life. Believe me on that one friends. Believe.

Do not fail, as I have, over and over and over, to spot the signs. And then, my fellow men, have the damned courage to do something. The Veterans Crisis Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, at (800)-273-8255, press 1, or here.

This will be only the first of my essays on this topic, because it is important. And if the topic is too depressing for you, well then man up.

This message is not approved by the DoD, the Army, or any unit. It damned well should be, but it isn't, cause I did not ask. I can be reached, as always, at R_Bateman_LTC@hotmail.com.

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