Feeling in control is addictive. Like any other addiction, feeling in control brings many negative things into your life; the more you feel the need to control things, the bad things can get.

Why? Because trying to control life can make you feel stressed, frustrated, overwhelmed, disappointed and misunderstood.

Yes, you have one million things to do today, plus one hundred people to satisfy or manage. Therefore, yes, things can get to a point where you feel the need to control them just to make sure everything is done on time and properly.

It is a good thing to be in control of yourself because that makes you reliable, stable and increases your chances of success. However, allowing yourself to get addicted to feeling in control for the sake of it, will ruin almost all your good work and effort.

Now let’s see some ways you can use to relinquish control to improve the quality of your life.

1.Rearrange your priorities list

Your priorities are determining your behavior. You can feel that, the most, in your relationships.

Rearrange the list of importance and care you give to things.

For example:

Care more about your family feeling good and loved compared to the care and attention you give to cleanliness;

Care more about how your partner is feeling rather than putting things straight.

Care more about people around you believing that you see and understand them compared to them knowing, at an intellectual level, how smart and capable you are.

Give up on controlling how things must look, sound or feel only from your perspective. Life is full of different colors, shapes, and sizes. Life is more about creating and maintaining amazing relationships to other people and less about how successful you are in your career. Your legacy is what you are doing with and for other people.

Your legacy is the bond between you and future generations, and that bond is as strong as your relationships with others are today.

Care for others more than you care about things and ideas and you will be cared for in return.

2. Practice self-compassion

Life happens even when you stay still. Therefore, you are making mistakes, misjudging situations and people, giving too much importance to things that you shouldn’t and to less to others that you should; you are saying things that you came to regret, and not saying things that need to be said.

Yes, perhaps you are doing all this stuff and some more. But it comes a time in your life when you have to give up your control and admit to yourself that you are always doing the best you think the situation requires and the best you know how.

If you haven’t got to that point yet, then, today is the day you should start. Self-compassion is an essential element to a balanced life, and there is no self-compassion without relinquishing control.

Judging, blaming, and beating yourself up are done by that part of you that is addicted to control. It is that part of you which believes that everything in your life would be perfect if you only could be just a little bit more of everything.

Practice self-compassion and stay focused on the things you are doing right and give yourself the chance to multiply those things.

The outcome of many things is not what you want no matter how much effort and dedication you put into them.

3. Acknowledge your feelings

Do you stop and think about what you might be feeling when you are in a demanding circumstance? Do you stop and reflect on your emotional state when you are under pressure or encounter adversity?

Most mistakes we are making are a result of being in one of those types of situation and ignoring what we are feeling. We believe that trying to control things will make them better or will enhance our performance.

Take moments to breathe; stop running, have a break, do something you enjoy or, simply listen what you have to say.

Acknowledge your feelings, don’t brush them off. They are there to signal or teach you something. Listen and pay attention. Stop trying to control situations and other people and start taking control of your emotions.

For example, you can’t control your anger if you don’t acknowledge you are angry. And when you recognize that, something amazing happens. The root of your anger comes to the surface and because of it, you find multiple possibilities and tools to solve the situation.

4. Delegate

If you insist on doing everything by yourself because that is the only way you believe things will be done to your standards, almost all the things that you are doing don’t seem to be good enough. You are dividing your attention in too many places, and you get lost in unimportant details.

Stay focused on what you want to accomplish. Do those things for which you are the right person; the rest of things, delegate to others that are the right people for them.

I know you probably can do almost everything by yourself, and I know that what comes out of your hand gives you satisfaction and calms down your anxiety about the quality of the work. However, is it worth all the energy you are putting in?

Remember your priority list. Put in balance what is more important for every situation.

5. Overcome the fear of loss

If you find yourself stuck in controlling behaviors and thoughts, most likely you are doing it because you fear what could happen if you don’t. You can get emotionally attached to a precise outcome, and the idea of accomplishing any other result feels like a loss even if it is a positive result.

Take a chance and allow yourself to be surprised!

Life happens even when you stay still.