It is very likely a combination of pre-2012 posturing by the White House and a fiscal hardline amongst the Republican party could cause our United States government to shut down this weekend. This is disappointing and annoying.

The silver lining? Conspiracy theorists can start spinning into overdrive. Break out the tin foil hats, check on your emergency seed garden and text your militia buddys. Here is a smattering of our favorites:

• China has ordered the shut down. They will use their opportunity to call in the debt we owe them and invade US soil [GodLikeProductions]

• Shut down means that non-essential entities like the EPA would cease opporation. That would mean radiation monitoring from Japan would be affected giving the Government leeway to fudge results [ConspiracyCom]

• Shutdown will only be avoided with assistance from Obama-friendly alien P’lod [Weekly World News]