Were you people aware that Rob Enderle is still a thing? A thing that sometimes writes about Apple? The Macalope was astounded to find this out yet again. Every time he’s pointed to a piece by Enderle he does a double-take. How wrong can someone be time and time again and not simply wink out of existence? Turns out quite a lot!

”Tablet Wars: The iPad Drifts Toward Mediocrity” (indirect link with a tip o’ the antlers to Shawn King)

Rob would know about tablet mediocrity, having previously touted the Dell Mini 5 because—and this is an actual quote—“You can put the Dell Mini in a belt pouch.” Well, you could, but you might burst into flames because of all the hotness.

Dell, of course, is one of Enderle’s clients, but don’t think that affects his judgement in these matters. Know that it affects his judgement in these matters.

Remember when the first and second iPads came out? They were magical, amazing devices.

That Rob summarily dismissed for being “too big” and lacking Flash.

Does he not know we can go back and read what he wrote?

Apple doesn’t dominate the market any more.

In market share. Probably still does in profit share. Kinda like the smartphone market, which is a total disaster for Apple.

Apple doesn’t dominate the market any more. Apple’s share this year is down too; it sold just 13 million units in 2014 against a total market of 48 million units.

That’s a little slip there by Rob. Apple sold 12.3 million iPads in the last quarter, not in 2014. Oopsies! See, sometimes when you’re the “last inquiry analyst,” as Rob like to describe himself, you make some errors when you’re rushing to get your analysis out. It happens.

The reason for this is that much of the volume is now in the 8-inch class of products, which average around US$200, and Apple sells its similar iPad mini for around twice that price, which likely is why it doesn’t sell well.

The iPad mini (now starting at $249, by the way) “doesn’t sell well.” Keep telling yourself that, Rob.

Apple did something rather strange as well. Its big iPad Air gets a burst camera, which is handy when filming fast-moving objects, but taking a picture with a big tablet makes you look like a dork.

The Macalope is no fan of taking pictures with an iPad, but like anyone deserves dork judgement from the guy who suggested wearing a tablet in a holster on your belt.

This is what Tim Cook thinks will drive people to trade in their perfectly good old iPads for a new one? Oh, and Apple still sells the old ones at a substantial discount. Gee, for the same price as a brand new well-differentiated product from Asus, Google, or Dell, I can get an obsolete unused product from Apple?!?

No, actually! You can’t! The Asus PadFone Mini is a phone-snapped-into-a-tablet-screen misfit toy with specs nowhere near the iPad mini 3’s, the Nexus 9 starts at $399, same as the iPad mini 3, and Dell hasn’t announced pricing on the Venue.

Wow—how far we have fallen.

Nobody’s fallen, Rob. You’re still right where you always were.