It took several minutes for their laughter to finally die away. Emberlynn was left feeling breathless, but so much lighter than she’d felt just a few minutes earlier when Phoenix had first arrived. Despite how mortified she still felt, Emberlynn couldn’t help but feel almost grateful too. Who would have thought that something so mortifying would be just the thing to help ease some of their tension?

“Wow… Just when we thought things couldn’t get any more fucked up, huh?” She asked, smiling.

“I know.” Phoenix agreed, shaking his head. “Serves me right for not calling first… I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, Mr. Rosebrook. But, uh, maybe let’s agree to never talk about this ever again?” Xander suggested.

Beside him, Emberlynn nodded eagerly in agreement.

Phoenix chuckled softly. “Deal.”

“We really are happy you’re here though. Even if things got off to a super-fucking-weird start.” Xander smiled at the older man as he spoke.

“Thank you, so am I.” Phoenix agreed, noticeably more relaxed than he had been just a few minutes before.

Xander hesitated for a moment before continuing. “So do you guys want like, some privacy or something?” Xander offered. “I know you probably have some stuff you wanna talk about…”

Emberlynn smiled gratefully. It was wonderful to see how understanding Xander was of the whole situation. “If you don’t mind?”

“Course not.” He quickly brushed his lips against her temple before rising to his feet. “Gotta keep working on that song anyway… But maybe when you two are done, we could…?” Xander looked hopefully toward Phoenix as he spoke.

He nodded. “Of course. I’ve really been wanting to talk to you too.” Phoenix assured him kindly.

The younger man eyed him uncertainly. “When you say ‘talk’, do you mean the ‘long lost father’ talk, or the ‘you’re dating my daughter’ talk?”

Phoenix laughed. “A little of both.” He admitted.

“I was afraid of that.” Xander replied with a small chuckle of his own. “Well… I guess I’ll leave you guys to it.” He gave Emberlynn a reassuring smile before finally disappearing into the bedroom.

Emberlynn patted the empty spot beside her on the couch, choking back a laugh as she finally understood why he’d seemed so afraid to sit there. “It’s safe, don’t worry…” She teased, switching back to her native tongue now that Xander had left the room.

He laughed too. It was so refreshing to see him smiling and laughing. “I know, I was being ridiculous.” Phoenix admitted as he took a seat beside her. “Still a little, uh…”

“Traumatized?” Emberlynn teased.

“Ha! That’s one word for it, I suppose.” He agreed.

Emberlynn felt her smile start dying away as she realized that it was finally time for them to have the conversation she’d been dreading. “No, but seriously… I really do feel bad for putting this off for so long. I’m glad we can finally talk. And I’ve really been wanting to ask you…” Emberlynn bit her lip. “Papa, are you okay?”

She watched as his smile vanished just as quickly as hers did. “Do you want the honest answer?” Phoenix asked.

Emberlynn let out a soft sigh. “Sorry. That was a stupid question.”

“No such thing.” He assured her. “And the answer is… Not great, but I’m getting there. Better than I was, at least.” Phoenix gave a small shrug. “What about you? Are you doing okay?”

She simply returned his shrug in reply, saying nothing.

“Well, I’m glad things with you and Xander seem to be alright, at least.” Phoenix smiled softly at her as he continued. “And I’m sorry that we almost ruined things for the two of you. But Lola and I really thought…”

“I know. You were just trying to do the right thing. You didn’t know…” Emberlynn paused. It was still so painful to talk about. “I still can’t believe any of this.” She shook her head slowly. “I keep hoping this is all just some stupid nightmare I’m finally gonna wake up from. I just wish everything could be normal again.”

“I know. And it kills me to see you going through this. Your mother and I… Well, as you can see, we had a lot of issues back when we were your age.” Phoenix replied, the shame apparent on his face as he spoke. “We both made some very bad decisions, which led to some pretty big mistakes. And I don’t think either of us ever thought it would all come back to us like this…”

Emberlynn immediately bristled at the word ‘mistake’. A small burst of anger shot up through her chest at his words. “Xander and I aren’t mistakes.” She spat in a harsh whisper.

“Oh, Honey, no… That’s not what I meant. Not at all.” Phoenix assured her.

It was so strange. Somehow, sitting there and finally talking about it was bringing out so many thoughts and feelings that Emberlynn hadn’t even realized she’d had. It was like some massive floodgate in her mind had suddenly burst open, letting everything it had been holding back come rushing forward, all at once.

“It’s not our fault you both fucked the wrong people!” Emberlynn found herself practically shouting now. “We never asked for this! It’s not our fault! We…” She found herself unable to continue as the emotions she’d been fighting so hard to hold back finally overtook her.

“Emberlynn, come here.”

Despite the unexpected burst of anger she’d felt toward him, Emberlynn did not fight him as Phoenix pulled her into a comforting embrace. She felt like a little girl, crying in her Papa’s arms and begging him to help make things okay again.

Except this time, she knew there was nothing he could do to fix this. Things would never be okay again.

The true circumstances behind her birth had been eating away at her for weeks now. Knowing that she was the result of a terrible affair — one that, she now realized, had caused so much damage to her parents’ marriage — was just too much for her to bear. What were she and Xander to their parents now, but a reminder of how badly they’d fucked up in their youth?

“Why is everything so messed up?” She sobbed quietly into his shoulder. “Why does it have to be like this? Why am I a mistake?”

“I’m so sorry, Honey.” Phoenix whispered soothingly as Emberlynn finally pulled away from him. “This isn’t fair to you. None of it is. But I promise, you aren’t a mistake, and neither is Xander.”

“But I’m not even your kid.” Emberlynn sobbed softly, finally speaking aloud the thoughts she’d been holding back for so long. “You were never supposed to be my Papa. You were supposed to be Xander’s.”

“That’s not true.” To her surprise, Phoenix’s voice was hard as he replied. “Please, Emberlynn. I never want to hear you say that again. I’m your Papa, and I was always supposed to be.” His voice finally softened. “I don’t care what that DNA test says, okay? I’m still your father, and I love you no matter what. Promise me you won’t forget that.”

Emberlynn wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I love you too. You know I do. But this is just so fucked up… Why does it have to be like this?” She asked again. “And why did she have to lie?” She felt her anger returning in full force, but this time, it was directed toward someone who deserved it so much more than Phoenix did.

“I think the answer to that one is pretty complicated… and that’s not a question for me to answer anyway.” He replied carefully. “I’m not the person you should be asking.”

“Ha! Yeah right!” Emberlynn cried bitterly, her anger rising at the implication behind Phoenix’s words. “If you seriously expect me to pick up the phone and talk to that b—“

“You don’t have to.” He interjected gently.

“Good.”

“No, what I mean is… If you want to ask her yourself… You don’t have to pick up the phone.” Phoenix confessed guiltily.

Emberlynn’s eyes widened as she realized what he was saying. “Papa, no.”

“Ember…”

“No!” She shouted. “You seriously brought her here?! Ugh, I can’t believe you did this!”

Before Phoenix had a chance to respond, they were interrupted by the sound of the opening bedroom door behind them. “Hey… Everything okay out here?” The concern was evident on Xander’s face as he spoke. She and her father had been speaking in German, but she was sure the yelling had been enough to catch his attention.

“It’s fine.” Emberlynn switched over to English, still glaring at Phoenix. “But Papa, how many times have I told you? I’m not talking to her.”

“Your Mom?” Xander asked.

She nodded.

Phoenix let out a sigh. “Look, I’m not gonna force you to see her. That’s not what I came here to do. I just wanted you to know that she came all this way, just like I did, for the exact same reason. She wants to talk to you.”

“Yeah, and what if I don’t wanna talk to her?“

“Then I won’t make you.” He promised once more. “I just wanted you to know that she’s here too, if you think you’re ready to talk. And that it might be good for both of you if you do.” He added with a small shrug.

“Papa, why are you doing this?” Emberlynn grumbled. “Why are you trying to help her? She was horrible to you!”

“She was.” He agreed.

“And to me!”

“Emberlynn, trust me, I understand how you feel… It was weeks before I could finally bring myself to talk to her either.” Phoenix replied seriously. “And if you do decide to go see her, I’m not expecting you to forgive her… All you need to do is listen to what she has to say.”

She shook her head. “You really think I wanna hear anything she has to say?”

“Probably not.” Phoenix admitted. “But I think it’s important that you hear it… And for you to say anything she needs to hear too.” Emberlynn could sense him slipping into therapist mode on her. “It can be very cathartic to get those sorts of feelings out in the open. It might make you feel better.”

Emberlynn eyed him skeptically. “She already knows how I feel. And besides, did talking to her make you feel better?”

He seemed to be genuinely considering her question for a few moments before finally replying. “We only talked yesterday, so it’s still hard to say if ‘better’ is the right word for it.” He admitted. “But did it make things easier? Definitely.”

Emberlynn said nothing. Part of her wanted to laugh in his face at the suggestion that talking to her mother would make anything easier. As if!

But there was another part of her that wanted to believe him. A little voice in the back of her mind, reminding her just how much she missed her mother. She wished there was some way to silence it.

“Y’know, it might not be so bad to just… try it.” Xander finally spoke again, scooting Gucci out of the way and taking a seat on Phoenix’s other side. “You remember what we talked about the other day, don’t you?”

Emberlynn sighed, nodding. She did remember. She was just hoping that maybe he’d forgotten.

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot and… I guess, as pissed as I still am at her, I wish I’d actually talked to my mom before she left. Even if it totally backfired, at least we could’ve said we tried, y’know?” Xander asked sadly.

“Yeah, but this isn’t the same.” Emberlynn insisted. “As awful as it was for her to lie to you, your mom was just trying to do what she thought was best for everybody. At least she actually gave a shit about you and Papa. Mine was just being a selfish bitch.”

“Maybe she was.” Xander shrugged. “I guess all I’m saying is, it would kinda suck if you left without talking to her, wouldn’t it? I’m telling you, it really feels shitty being thousands of miles away without getting the chance to… I can’t really think of the right word for it. But you know what I mean, right?”

“Yeah, I get it.” Emberlynn replied, wincing inwardly at Xander’s reference to her moving to the US with him. Beside her, however, Phoenix appeared completely unfazed, just as Zelda was when they’d spoken on the phone. No one was really expecting her to come home, it seemed.

“I can even come with you, if you want.” He continued. “Like, for moral support. And if you need to get out of there, just say the word. I’ll find you the perfect evacuation route.” Xander’s lip curled into a smile.

She shook her head. “If I’m doing this, I’m doing it alone.” Emberlynn replied firmly. “But I dunno… I’m still not sure if I’m ready.” She stopped, shrugging helplessly. Part of her was still screaming ‘Hell no!’ while another insisted that it couldn’t hurt to give it a try. “Look, why don’t you stay here and talk to Papa and I’ll…” Emberlynn hesitated, her mind still not made up. “I’ll go take a walk, or something.” She muttered uncomfortably.

Phoenix smiled. “So, um, there’s a little cafe a few blocks down — Belle Vie, I think its called? And I, uh… I hear the coffee’s really good.”

Emberlynn raised an eyebrow at him. “Mm-hmm… And what about the customers? How are they?”

He shrugged, the look in his eyes answering her unspoken question. “There’s only one way to find out.”

She rolled her eyes at his reply as she rose to her feet. Ugh. Am I really gonna do this? “Haven’t decided yet if I’m in the mood for any… ‘coffee’.” Emberlynn let out a sigh. “But you guys stay here and talk and I’ll… I’ll be back soon. I hope…” One way or another, she needed to get out of there and clear her head.

Emberlynn began heading toward the door, but paused at the sound of footsteps behind her.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Xander asked softly as she turned around to face him.

“Of course I want you to.” Emberlynn replied with a small smile. “But if I decide I’m really doing this, I’ve gotta do it on my own.”

“You sure?”

She nodded, forcing herself to hide her discomfort and uncertainty. “And besides, this is finally your chance!” Emberlynn gestured over his shoulder to where her father still sat, now joined by Gucci. “I know how much you’ve wanted this.”

“Yeah, but… God, after what he heard this morning…” Xander’s embarrassment was apparent on his face.

Emberlynn smirked. “Then he knows you’re taking good care of me.” She teased in a whisper, hoping it was soft enough for Phoenix not to hear. “That’s gotta earn you a few points, right?”

Her boyfriend laughed heartily at her response. “Yeah, we’ll see about that… Look, just text me if you need me to swoop in and rescue you, okay? Belle Vie’s not too far from here.”

“I’ll be fine.” Emberlynn promised him, wishing she could actually believe it herself. “Don’t worry about it. But thank you.”

“Love you.” Xander whispered in her ear.

“You too.”

“And, uh, good luck.” He added quickly before finally letting her go.

Emberlynn’s face fell as she watched him go back to join Phoenix on the couch. “Thanks”. She muttered, knowing he could not hear her.

Something tells me I’m really gonna need it.