BUDGET clothing giant Primark has banned good-looking people from its shops.

Primark’s management got the idea after a reading a new book claiming that Abercrombie and Fitch wants to exclude larger customers.

A Primark spokesman said: “It seems so obvious in retrospect – no one wants a hot model type spoiling the mood as they’re shuffling around our aisles chucking things on the floor.

“Our brand is all about reasonably-priced elasticated clothing for people with a flexible approach to how many cakes they should eat.

“You could say we’re promoting a cake-based lifestyle.”

Under new store rules, anyone with a body fat ratio of under 39% with be firmly but politely pointed in the direction of the fancy jeans shop down the road.

The spokesman said: “We’re also asking our staff to ‘stop washing and start eating’. If anyone turns up for their shift looking too slim, they’ll have to power-eat ten Steak Bakes.”

36-year-old Primark customer Emma Bradford said: “Obviously I want my Primark experience to be as depressing as possible, I go in there as a sort of psychological self-harm. But I don’t mind seeing thin people as long as they look tired and forlorn.

“The main group I’d like to see excluded is clever people – and that’s actually something I think Abercrombie and Fitch does brilliantly.”