Washington D.C.—

The new Republican tax reform bill has many controversial facets, but perhaps the most controversial detail of the complex tax proposal is a shift in the poverty level upward, way upward.

The new tax guidelines crafted in the bill would raise the poverty level higher than it has ever been before. If passed, the GOP tax reform would consider almost every single American as being under the poverty line.

“The new poverty line is an indicator that Republicans are taking many of America’s economic misfortunes seriously,” explained Representative Todd Quinn of Arkansas, one Republican architect of the plan. “The fact is that in this country billionaires and millionaires are being beat up in the media as selfish and greedy, but that’s just not the case. Most Americans cannot imagine the struggles and stresses of being a billionaire. They just can’t relate. So our new bill raises the poverty level to $9.99 billion so that billionaires no longer have to feel under attack.”

Representative Jenny Gerald of Arizona is a Republican co-sponsor of the tax plan, and she explained that a billion dollars does not go as far as it used to go.

“By including single-digit billionaires below the poverty level, we are doing everything we can do to reduce poverty. If passed, the tax bill would only tax people who have made over $10 billion, because let’s face it, in this day and age $5 billion just does not benefit you like you it used to. If we can lessen the awful taxes keeping single-digit billionaires forever out of the double-digit billionaire range, I think we can really kickstart this economy and start creating jobs, which is always my number one priority.”

(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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