Some topics of conversation can be tricky. Religion, obviously. Politics. Footy. Whether or not it’s OK to wear your Uggs out of the house (of course it is). Whether it’s OK to wear tights as pants (of course it isn’t).

And, absolutely anything to do with raising kids.

Given the conversation on this topic that I had with a friend last week, I feel it’s time to dive into that mud bath.

My friend’s child goes to a leading childcare centre at which men comprise part of the workforce. If like me, you think that men working in child care is a thoroughly underwhelming piece of information, stay on the ride. It gets better.

Imagine my friend’s surprise when she received communication from her child’s day care saying that some parents had not only complained about the fact there are male carers, they’d removed their children because of it.

Here’s where it gets tricky.

Play Video Gina Rinehart's plan to increase the number of women working in mining through netball. The West Australian Video Gina Rinehart's plan to increase the number of women working in mining through netball.

Tricky because no one should presume to mandate to a parent who should care for their child. Tricky because it’s not a clinical decision. Parents must use their best judgment, their wisdom and their knowledge of their own kids to make the choices they feel are in their best interests.

But how do we, and should we respond when these decisions are based on ignorance and prejudice?

If you feel that’s a little too strong, let’s play a quick word substitution game.

Let’s not also pretend there aren’t a number of other uncomfortable factors at play here

We don’t want our child cared for by a Jew. Or a Catholic.

We don’t want our child cared for by a person who is Asian. Or indigenous.

Hard to read, isn’t it? It should be, because someone expressing such a view would be shut down quicker than a Christmas lights display in Adelaide. Such views should be challenged, regardless of who holds them because we understand that if unchecked, they perpetuate prejudice.

No more so than the view that a man is somehow less qualified than a woman to care for a child.

Let’s not also pretend there aren’t a number of other uncomfortable factors at play here, one of which of course is the not so subtle inference that a man is more likely to pose risk of abuse, so let’s face that one head on. Statistically, a child under the age of 15 is most likely to be abused by a family member or friend.

Grubby, uncomfortable and confronting, but fact. However uneasy a parent may feel about a male carer, the facts, devoid of emotion, say there is greater risk of abuse occurring at the hand of someone in a child’s family and social circle.

As parents, aunts and uncles, friends, we’re hardwired to protect our kids, to do all in our power to minimise potential risk where and when we can. But what if that risk is bigger in our minds than the facts testify it to be? Whilst men and women undergo the same extreme vetting for a carer’s role, perhaps the solution lies not so much about the gender of the person caring, but safeguards embedded into the role which restrict how and when male carers interact with little ones, and from what age. But then, flip that coin and you’re unfairly viewing every man in a carer’s role as a predator waiting to strike. Like I said, tricky.

The second issue is a view that somehow men can’t provide an equal measure of care or nurturing.

In the communication sent to my friend and other parents, the centre’s leadership patiently spelt out what is to most of us very obvious.

Play Video New reports have revealed WA has the highest gender pay gap in the country. The West Australian Video New reports have revealed WA has the highest gender pay gap in the country.

“Men working in childcare settings provide children with a positive male role model, particularly for those children who may not have male role models at home,” it said. “It also enhances the curriculum and improves the quality of the services.”

Well, yes. Of course they do and of course it does. Even the most cursory amount of research reveals studies prove time and again the importance of male role models and influence in early education.

The third issue is about raising children for whom the concept of gender parity is normal. We can’t have it both ways. We can’t say, we need to invest more in STEM and see more girls studying engineering if we’re not concurrently prepared to say that men in careers such as child care are not just OK, but much needed and incredibly valuable.

Surely young children should not be conditioned to view nurturing and care as elements that only women can provide.

They need to see that men and women are equipped to care, are able to make snacks, change nappies, negotiate playground treaties and provide a safe place in which the best of childhood adventures can take place. Isn’t this the starting place for raising kids for whom gender equality is a given, not a lesson to learn in future years?

In 1996, the European Commission Network on Childcare set a target for a male participation rate in the industry of 20 per cent by 2020. Few countries are even close. Norway, recently voted happiest country on the planet, has only reached 10 per cent. Ireland lags behind at 2 per cent. Most recent statistics available from the Australian Productivity Commission have us only slightly better with a pitiful 3 per cent of all childcare workers being men.

I wondered if my friend was singularly enlightened in her shock at the fact someone would complain about a male carer. I’m also conscious of the fact I’m not a parent may mean my radar is off. A quick water-cooler poll of a couple of dozen mates with kids of varying ages (hardly empirical data but I’ll wager more reliable than US pre-election polling) would suggest not.

One friend, mum to a little boy of five months, scoffed. Another mate, father of two girls, was more direct. These people were just looking for problems that do not exist, he said.

And it begs the question, what’s next? Restrictions on male teachers? And what about male nurses? I’m happy to report that my friend’s day care received hundreds of responses to their note, overwhelmingly in favour of their policy of having men as carers.

I’d like to say that this prejudice should be shot down like any other but fact is, it’s not like any other because it’s about who we trust to care for and love our kids day to day.

That doesn’t make it any less important to confront. But the bottom line is parents need to satisfy themselves that the processes and safeguards into which they are entrusting their children are robust enough to provide the best possible protections.

Gemma Tognini runs gtmedia strategic communications