I count at least seven potential third parties in this picture.

Twelve, if you include Mitt.

I count at least seven potential third parties in this picture.

Twelve, if you include Mitt.

Appearing on Bryan Fischer’s radio program this afternoon, [Herman] Cain called for a large faction of Republican Party leaders to desert the party and form a third, more conservative party. “I never thought that I would say this, and this is the first time publicly that I’ve said it: We need a third party to save this country. Not Ron Paul and the Ron Paulites. No. We need a legitimate third party to challenge the current system that we have, because I don’t believe that the Republican Party … has the ability to rebrand itself,” Cain said.

Oh, how I shall (not) mourn the end of this election season. But cheer up, America, because it looks like the aftermath will be with us for a good, long time. The Republican Party is in disarray A legitimate third party, mind you. If it's not legitimate, the electorate has ways to shut that whole thing down. Or maybe I've got that backwards, I forget. Anyway, it's nice of Cain to remind the nation once again that no, real Republicans or conservatives or whatever don't think Ron Paul is "legitimate."

I think I speak for all of us when I say that Herman Cain and the rest of "true" conservatism should get right on this. It's long past time the Republican Party stopped trying to stitch together its social conservative and corporate anarchist wings—the only question is which of them will go off to form their own party first, and which will be stuck with the shameful, shameful Republican brand name.

Go, do it. Republicans: Go Galt, already! I don't care who, or how, or why, I just want to see one of these insufferable little we-represent-all-of-America groups actually give it a go, after all these years of grumbling about it. Throw some crap in there about how corporations and wealthy people need to pay less taxes and you'll have people throwing money at you, or you can go for the "birth control is an abomination unto my noggin" vote and make a bid for the very, very pissed off evangelicals. Take your pick, it's all the same crap. It just needs a new name.

I propose you call it the Flee Party.

