



Dear Achmed,







How are you doing on your tour with Mr. Jeff Dunham? Ahem, s-sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Haleigh Kurõi, my last name is actually Crawley, but Kurõi is my pen name and I’m a 16 year old girl who has big dreams for the future. I came by to say something about you. You’re the greatest suicide bomber on the whole earth and you never give up your skills as a terrorist. Even if you’re dead and all bone, you still continued your whole life through. In my opinion, you’re more cuter and hotter than the rest of the Dunham puppets. I believe you want people to think you’re scary and fearful, but unfortunately, you have a deathly fear of that Walter guy and I feel incredibly sorry for you than the whole audience of each performance. For once, you deserve a hug and a kiss once in a while if that happens. One last thing before this letter concludes, I think you’re the most sweetest, kindhearted, proudest and most beloved terrorist the world has ever known.

Ok, well, this is what I’ll say to him as much as I love him, based on this letter I’ll write him: