Scientists at Michigan Tech University have released the results of a 7 year study in which they looked at the size of a motorist’s vehicle in relation to their IQ, and the findings are surprising while they also confirm long held beliefs among drivers.

“We found that a normal individual of average intelligence actually decreases their brain power the bigger the car they drive,” said Dr. Jhonesburg, leader of the extensive study. “What we found is that if you take a Rhodes scholar, and put him in the seat of an H2, he becomes a total dumbass.”

The research was presented at this week’s Detroit Auto Show to much contention.

“I don’t buy it.” said Rick Wagoner, CEO of GM. “What about sub compacts? Those people are obviously stupid in comparison with those who drive our Escalades.”

“The study looked at the effects of the car itself,” responded Jhonesburg “and not the IQ of the initial participant. Sub compact drivers were of lower IQ already with little awareness of the safety danger they were in. Drivers of large cars scored higher on our initial tests, but subsequently scored in the bottom percentile after just 10 minutes of driving the ‘tanks’, as I like to call them.”

The research will help explain why SUVers drive like maniacs on icy roads in deteriorating conditions, even though 4 wheel drive has no effect on braking power, as well as to why seemingly mild mannered soccer moms need 4 tons of steel to carry groceries.

The complete study can be found in the February issue of Motortrend.

Thanks to thisbuddyofmine for this submission.