You couldn’t make it up……..Well, actually you probably could……….particularly if you write erotic stories for men’s magazines for a living………..but I don’t……and therefore this isn’t “made up”.

This little tale takes place in Meshchovsk, Russia.

Would be armed robber, Viktor (no last name given in the press……..and unsurprisingly considering the whole story), waited until the end of the working day, when only the last customers and staff remained in the hairdressers he intended to “stick up”………which is not the only thing that ended up being “stuck up”.

He then rushed in, armed with a gun and demanded the days takings from the hairdressers.

Staff and remaining customers, obviously, agreed to his demands……..but the shop owner, Olga………

……….yeh, that is Olga, had other ideas.

Olga (who’s surname has not been released by the press also) happened to be a bit of a martial arts chick……..and promptly disarmed and tied up our robber, using a hairdryer cord, locking our armed robber in a store room, telling all in the shop she would call the police and deal with the matter.

Once all the staff and customers had left…………she forced the robber to strip, threatening to call the police if he refused………and force fed him Viagra.

Now even with her face blocked out on the pic, our Olga doesn’t look too shabby to me………and certainly not a lady I would kick out of bed for farting!!!

Anyway……..Olga handcuffed the would be thief to a radiator from Friday evening until Monday morning……raping him repeatedly and eventually letting him go on 16th March, saying “Get out of my site!!”

Now our hapless criminal turned victim, Viktor then went straight to hospital………as his “toggle and two” had apparently taken a bit of a hammering during his 3 day session as Olga’s sex slave…….and needed some attention of a kind slightly different to that which Olga had given it.

At this point, I would offer up some options to my male readers as to what you would do next…….

1. Walk into the pub like John Wayne after a week in the saddle, having not seen your friends for 3 days………and state the reason you are walking like that is due to the fantastic 72 hour full on, non-stop sex session you had just had with a beautiful blonde………conveniently forgetting to mention you had actually gone to see her to hold her up and gun point and steal her business takings………

2. Make up a lame excuse about the front wheel of your bike hitting the all to frequent pot holes in the roads…….and the fact your body carried on the momentum…….leaving your “meat and 2 veg” hanging from the handle bars like a lucky charm……..

3. Go to the police and tell them exactly what happened……knowing that armed robbery will mean at least 10 years in a Russian Gulag…….

4. You have just returned from a 3 day visit to a cosmetic surgery clinic……..having had another few inches added to your “middle wicket”…..

5. Say nothing, wait a few days for the “family jewels” to recover……….and rob the place again, hoping for the same result!!

Well…….the ungrateful Viktor went with Option 3………Yep, he went to the police and filed charges of multiple rape against Olga and explained the circumstances fully and frankly.

Upon her arrest, Olga said “What a bastard…….Yes I had sex with him a couple of times, but I bought him new jeans, fed him and even gave him 1000 Roubles before he left!!”

Olga then filed a complaint regarding the armed robbery……..well “a woman scorned” and all that.

The upshot is that now both face jail time……..Olga for rape and Viktor for robbery.

Brings a whole new concept to a “Cut and Blow” doesn’t it?