ALRIGHTY-ROO, once again this thing known as the “penis facial” is back in the headlines. It’s a head-scratcher, a complete and utter what-the-fuck, and a very real facial treatment Underworld star Kate Beckinsale just started using.

Cast your minds back to March of this year and you might remember that one fateful day Cate Blanchett introduced the world to the “penis facial”. The actor had received the treatment with ol’ mate Sandra Bullock from celebrity facialist Georgia Louise.

Speaking to Vogue Australia at the time, Blanchett said: “she gives what we call the penis facial and it’s something – I don’t know what it is, or whether it’s just ’cause it smells a bit like sperm – there’s some enzyme in it so Sandy refers to it as the penis facial.”

Literal quote, pals, literal quote.

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As it turns out, the treatment is actually called the Hollywood EGF (Epidermal Growth Factor) and – according to Louise – “is derived from the progenitor cells of the human fibroblast taken from Korean newborn baby foreskin – which helps to generate collagen and elastin.”

Read that again.

How one came upon this discovery? I don’t know. And, I don’t want to know.

So now, Beckinsale has hopped on the “penis facial” bandwagon she revealed in an Instagram post last week.

“After a long flight I do like to lie down and be covered in a mask of liquified cloned foreskins-frankly who doesn’t?” she wrote.

LIQUIFIED CLONED FORESKINS.

“Thank you @georgialouisek for an amazing facial. I especially liked you reassuring me it would be ‘light on penis’ as it was my first time x.”

LIGHT ON PENIS.

Jesus CHRIST.

I mean, it looks like it’s working.

Anywhoo, wanna know how much a “penis facial” costs? USD $650 for the one hour and 20 minute treatment.

Chatting to PeopleStyle, Louise said she thought up the treatment “last year when Sandra Bullock was filming in New York City and came to see me for a deep cleansing and long-lasting facial glow.”

“I have text threads which would blow your mind from celebs, asking for the ‘penis treatment’ all the time now.”

Right well, Happy Monday.