Every Monday features a tip, exercise, inspiring quote or other tidbit to help boost your body image. For many of us, Mondays are tough. We may feel anxious and stressed out, anticipating an arduous week, especially if we didn’t get much rest and relaxation during the weekend. These kinds of feelings don’t create the best environment for improving one’s body image. In fact, you might be harder on yourself and easily frustrated. You might even feel like you’re walking on egg shells – with yourself! With these posts, I hope you’ll have a healthier and happier body image day, that’ll last throughout the week. Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky@gmail.com, and I’ll be happy to feature it. It can be anything you do that’s healthy and helps boost your body image. I’d love to hear from you!

Sometimes, we get so caught up in the weight game – desperate to look a certain way so that our existence can finally be validated – that we forget about our own substance. We start looking for “substance” in the superficial. In the bodies of others.

We might think “oh, I’d love to have her legs.” Or “wow, her arms are so muscular; she’s totally my inspiration for going to the gym so often.” Or “I wish I looked like her; I’d be so happy.”

These kinds of thoughts and statements obliterate our body image, and they take the focus away from exploring and growing the other pieces of ourselves – our likes, dislikes, passions and various parts of our personalities.

This is why I was particularly struck by something I read last week – and I think you will be, too.

I came across an excellent post about ending fat talk (BTW, Fat Talk Free Week is October 18-22) by Michael P. Levine, Ph.D., FAED, psychology professor at Kenyon College, Gambier, OH.

In the post, Levine lists four ways we can “speak in a manner that is free [from] the prejudices and ignorance that fuel fat talk.”

His last point says:

Speak freely with your friends about the women in your lives who are clearly “women of substance.” These could be parents, grandparents, teachers you admired, writers, or even the woman next door who holds a full-time job and cares for her children and her disabled husband.

He defines a woman of substance as:

…a woman who, regardless of her size and shape, has the talent, the character, the passion, and the courage (i.e., “the ovaries”) to take a stance and to make significant contributions to society. These women can be present, that is, can take up space in the world, as real people in the everyday lives of children and families, as historical personages associated with pictures on the walls, and as fictional characters in narratives of talent, character, passion, and courage.

So today when you get a moment, brainstorm some of the women who you admire because they’re simply fantastic, not because their bodies look a certain way. Because they’re smart, inventive, kind, compassionate, passionate, brave, hard-working, generous, talented, thoughtful and so on.

Move the focus away from weight, bodies, shapes, sizes and looks. And move toward the deep stuff. To the core. To someone’s mind, heart and soul.

If you’re not sure who your women of substance are, do some research. Make it a fun activity. You can start with Google. For instance, you might Google “women writers” or “famous women in history.” (This about.com page is a great place to start.) If you’re up for it, you can even spend some time at your local library.

And definitely ask your friends and family who their women of substance are. Like Levine says, this is a great way to create a fat talk–free conversation, and celebrate some wonderful women – and have a truly meaningful conversation.

Who are your women (and men) of substance? Who do you admire regardless of their weight, shape or size? I’d love to hear about them below!