Brexiters furious at EU for sticking to position they’ve been saying was non-negotiable for 26 months

Brexiters at the Conservative conference have today accused the EU of playing dirty tricks for maintaining a consistent negotiating position that hasn’t changed since it was announced in June 2016.

As negotiations enter their final stages, many who want to leave the EU insist Brussel’s Eurocrats are unfairly punishing the UK by saying precisely the same things they were saying two years ago,

Brexiter and backbench MP Simon Williams told us, “We have bent over backwards to try and offer them a deal that suits us, but they keep insisting that we can’t have the things we are asking for simply because they’ve always said we can’t have those things.

“Have they not listened to use say we want those things? Or heard us when we repeatedly told them that they need us more than we need them? Yet they continue to say their non-negotiable points are completely non-negotiable. No wonder they are a failing organisation.

“The British people will see that it’s outrageous for the EU to refuse us a deal that is good for Britain, just because it’s not very good for them. This is why we have to leave.

“How can you be part of an organisation that doesn’t bend to your every whim?”

An EU spokesperson told us, “Sigh…

“This again? Really? Look, it’s very simple. There are only so many ways to explain it. The integrity of the single market is paramount to us and the remaining EU members. You can’t have anything – literally nothing – that threatens that. So why keep asking for it?

“Honestly, it’s like repeatedly telling a toddler it can’t have ice-cream for breakfast, except the UK hasn’t shit itself in protest.

“Yet.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!