Now it’s no longer a “crisis in the relationship” that they try to paper over; now it’s no longer just “tensions with the White House” that they’re making every effort to reduce in between meetings; now, it’s an open war with the United States. It’s Sheldon Adelson versus Barack Obama, and Israel is caught in the cross-fire.

Open gallery view House Speaker John Boehner and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Credit: AP

After Vice President Joe Biden, our greatest friend over there, announced an unspecified trip abroad that will prevent him from being in Congress at the fateful hour, Republican Jewish organizations launched a campaign of intimidation against those lawmakers who had already announced their intent to skip the joint session: Their political fate will be bitter.

Nothing like this has ever happened in the history of nations. Only North Korea still uses such violent language. Even tiny Cuba adopted a different style and stopped roaring like a mouse. Ambassador to Washington Ron Dermer, in the service of his master, is rallying his troops and launching a combined assault on Capitol Hill. Benjamin Netanyahu is determined to show the president once and for all who really rules in Washington, who is the landlord both here and there.

It’s easy to imagine what would have happened in eternally united Jerusalem if some such Sheldon had made similar threats from Las Vegas and Macao against our ministers and MKs: Look, if you’re absent, you’ll never see another dollar.

One Matthew Brooks – the executive director of the Republican Jewish Coalition, who does the will of its financial backers – explained over the weekend, “We will commit whatever resources we need to make sure that people are aware of the facts, that given the choice to stand with Israel and Prime Minister Netanyahu in opposition to a nuclear Iran, they chose partisan interests and to stand with President Obama.” Mort Klein, president of the Zionist Organization of America, added unambiguously, “We will, of course, be publicly condemning any Democrats who don’t show up for the speech — unless they have a doctor’s note.” Doctor, this man is sick and urgently needs tranquilizers.

God, save us from our Jews; we can handle the non-Jews ourselves. How easy it is to stir up the highest institutions of democratic America, and how difficult to bomb Iran’s underground nuclear facilities. Ask the heads of your intelligence agencies, or ours, and they’ll whisper it in secret.

From Israel, the land you love so much and are so far away from, we’d like to tell you American Jews, regardless of your opinions and party affiliations – all those of you who won’t openly wash your hands of these risky gambles – that our fate is in our own hands.

Don’t play with fire that will burn us alone, or perhaps you as well: Because of your silence, you’ll be accused of dual loyalty.

Israel, which until now was a cornerstone of bipartisanship, has become loathsome to its traditional supporters. Benjamin Nitay Netanyahu, the Israeli-American, has made it into something that reeks, even among its longtime supporters.

In these very moments, the protocols are being rewritten. Rich Jews are writing them in their own handwriting. They, in their wealth, are confirming with their own signatures what anti-Semites used to slander them with in days gone by: We, the elders of Zion, pull the strings of Congress, and the congressmen are nothing but marionettes who do our will. If they don’t understand our words, they’ll understand our threats. And if in the past, we ran the show from behind the scenes, now we’re doing it openly, from center stage. And if you forget our donations, the wellspring will run dry.

Recently, two friends in Israel had a disturbing conversation: They fear that war is liable to break out at any moment between us and America. One friend cited two possibilities: In the worst case, they’ll conquer us, and we’ll become the 51st star on the flag – that would be unpleasant. True, the other said, but what happens if we conquer them? That, they agreed, would really be terrible.