Alright then, picture this if you will.

10-2AM, X, Yogi DMT and a box of Krispy Cremes in my need to know pose just outside of Area 51 contemplating the whole "chosen people thingy" when just a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and landing right on my Birkenstocks and me yelping: "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

Then the X Files Being, looked like some sort of bluegreen Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of yellow chig champa did a slow mo matrix descent out of the butt of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug eyes, my gaping jaw, my sweaty L Ron Hubbard lip and I hope Uncle Martin doesn't realize I pissed my duckin pants.

So a light this way, like an apparition he had my crying out, "FUCK ME! It's gotta be the Deadhead Chemistry! Bugger landed on top of me! Got me seeing E motherfucking T!"

And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, ET revealed to me his singular purpose. He said: "You are the chosen one. The one who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it, and a warning to those who do not." Me? The chosen one? They chose me!? And I never even graduated from fucking high school!