Transcript:

Pollster: Hello, sir... I'm here conducting a poll among registered voters. Joe: Oh, goody. Pollster: Are you a Democrat or a Republican. Joe: Neither. I prefer to think for myself. Pollster: Are you a liberal or a conservative? Joe: Same answer. By the way, those terms aren't mutually exclusive. Pollster: Does a candidate's religion matter to you? Joe: Only if they intend to replace the Constitution with it. Pollster: And what do you want from the next president? Joe: To reinstate habeas corpus, the Geneva Convention and actual democracy. Voice from television: ... and here's what real Americans think, according to the latest survey by the fair and balanced polling service... Danae: Oh, I hope you're a real American this time, Daddy. Joe: Sigh.