Walmart Self-Checkout Machine Wins Employee Of The Month Award Again

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA—A self-checkout machine at a local Walmart store was selected to be honored as the employee of the month for the fifty-second month in a row, sources confirmed Thursday.

The checkout machine was recognized for its speedy service, inability to make mathematical errors, and lack of making small talk with customers.

"Honestly, Checkout Machine #5 is a dream employee," said store manager Glen Anderson. "#5 never complains, never calls in sick, never makes annoying small talk."

The machine didn't make a single error the entire month, yet again, worked full shifts all thirty-one days of the month, and never once took a smoke or lunch break. Customers, especially those with just a few items, reported they had delightful interactions with the employee and were able to get in the store and get out with little hassle thanks to Machine #5.

"It's the poster boy for how we want our employees to act around here and the kind of attitude everyone should have."

At publishing time, the kiosk was being considered for a managerial position.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee