I’ve never asked, “How was that for you?” because, frankly, I haven’t needed to. I’m 49 and have been good at giving women orgasms since I started having sex; it’s something I can do on demand, either orally (never fails) or, to a slightly lesser extent, with penetration.

I learned from reading pornographic magazines with a high lesbian sex content when I was a teenager. It’s all about getting very familiar with my partner’s anatomy and reading how she’s reacting to my touch. It’s not rocket science.

How do I know my partners have never faked an orgasm? I don’t suppose I do with 100% certainty – but they’ve all displayed a few seconds of what I can only describe as total paralysis. There’s also an extreme sensitivity of the clitoris and sometimes nipples immediately afterwards. My current partner starts helplessly chuckling to herself. I haven’t experienced that before, but at least she’s consistent.

I read a lot about men who are lousy lovers, often because they are only interested in their own gratification; is it so prevalent? If so, I feel sorry for them, and for their partners. Making a woman squirm with an orgasm or two gives me such a high (not to mention an ego boost).

I don’t know if women generally have detailed conversations about their sex lives, but I do know that previous girlfriends have told their friends about my performance. Once, during a relationship counselling session, the therapist asked my now ex-wife whether bad sex was ever an issue. Even in her total hostility, she gave me an A+ rating.



• Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email sex@theguardian.com