At a cost of $80,000. It has been revealed that the crockery and cutlery in the Prime Minister's and other ministers' offices is "automatically" replaced at the commencement of each new Parliament at a cost of $80,000. Credit:Alex Ellinghausen It all began with Ms Mills explaining how, due to budgetary constraints on her department, she had had to go begging to the Department of Finance for a "co-contribution" to the cost of replacing the plates and knives for the 44th Parliament. "Unless you're going to Tiffany's or something, it's not going to be a massive saving for you," returned Senator Faulkner. The policy, said Ms Mills, was to automatically replace the plates and knives, at the rather whopping price tag of $80K.

"I wasn't aware that crockery was replaced with a new Parliament," intoned Senator Faulkner gravely, before allowing himself a little joke. "One or two prime ministers over the years have wielded the odd knife but that's about it." Faulkner waited for the murmur of polite laughter that such senatorial gags usually invoke, before proceeding with his line of inquiry. "I guess over the period of a Parliament items are lost or broken. Sure, there is replacing of individual items and then there is whole, what is the word for them, services?" Senator Wong stepped in to help. "Dinner services," she supplied. "There wouldn't be too many breakages. Perhaps one or two people might go in and out of offices with a knife in their back," said Faulkner, rather labouring his joke.

Ms Mills went on to explain our frugal Prime Minister had not had his crockery replaced, as far as she knew, despite his right to do so. The other ministers have, though - at a cost of more than $22,000. Next it was on to the matter of state that is Senator George Brandis' bookshelves. The Attorney-General, a great literary collector, has such a vast store of important tomes (most of which were acquired at the taxpayer's pleasure) that he required extra bookshelves to be built into his office in opposition. Now that Brandis has been promoted by the taxpayer, he needs his bookshelves moved to his new Attorney-General digs. Technical and heritage advice was sought for the moving of the shelves.

"The heritage advice was, 'Don't do it', is that right?" asked Faulkner. "The heritage advice was that they were not part of the original design of those offices," said Ms Mills artfully. And the technical advice? Loading "[The shelves] could not be broken down and relocated. It would be difficult to do that, the way it had been built."

And so cruel fate, and bureaucracy, interferes with the reunion of Brandis and his books.