Kol hakavod to Armond Schiff, who takes us on this virtual tour

(illustrated by yours truly):

Let me first give you a couple of minor points. Israel occupies 0.1% of the landmass of the Middle East and it is the only Jewish state, not only in this region, but in the world, and surrounded by 22 Arab states.

Let us begin your virtual tour!!

You have already been through immigration at Tel Aviv Airport with your boyfriend, whom we shall call Ken.

You will have filled out a visitors form. This form will not ask you, as it will in many of the countries that surround us, what is your religion, and it will certainly not ask you, as they do in Saudi Arabia, for a "certificate of religion".

The day is Sunday! You will want to attend a church service. No problem in the Apartheid State of Israel. We tolerate, and freely allow, worship for all religions.

This is more than can be said for all of the surrounding 22 Arab nations. In fact many of them would not even have a single church, let alone a synagogue.

After a lovely service you and Ken would head for a leisurely lunch- maybe at one of the lovely beachfront restaurants in Tel Aviv.

You would most likely have returned to your hotel and put on a very casual outfit, as befitting the very hot Israeli summers. This could be a pair of shorts and a tight fitting skimpy t-shirt.

No problem in the Apartheid state of Israel. In Israel we allow freedom of dress, especially for women, who are not made to wear bulky long robes, a veil to cover their face, and, wouldn't it be a pity if you had to c over that lovely coiffed hairdo, as you would probably have to in the surrounding 22 Arab states.

During lunch Ken could gaze lovingly into your heavily-painted eyes, complete with a good application of black mascara. He would be free to lean across and kiss your lips-finely painted with lip liner, 2 shades of burgundy lipstick and gloss.

People would probably think you were in love, especially as Ken has proudly displayed a good wine on the table. Public displays of affection and consuming alcohol in the Apartheid state of Israel is nothing unusual, and its not even scorned upon.

That's more than can be said for most of the surrounding 22 Arab states, where your glossy lips would be considered whorish and alcohol is forbidden.

... Ken, being a little flirtatious, pinched one of the young waitresses, while you went to reapply your lipstick.

It was harmless and luckily for the young girl in the Apartheid State of Israel, her father and 6 brothers will not take her to the family pool in the evening and drown her, or slit her throat-as they would in the surrounding 22 Arab states.



After lunch you and Ken drive around. You are even allowed to drive. It is not forbidden in Israel.