“Trump spent the morning attacking Mike Bloomberg on Twitter and called him ‘a mass of dead energy.’ When he heard that, Mike Pence was like, ‘Hey, that’s my nickname!’” — JIMMY FALLON

“But I will say this: If I was Mike Bloomberg and I had $61 billion — which is what he has — this is how I would get in Trump’s head: I’d buy every ad on Fox News from now until November. I would ruin his precious Hannity time, his ‘Fox and Friends’ in the morning. Maybe instead of an election we should just put these two old billionaires on a jungle island with sharp sticks and force them to hunt each other, you know? Put it on pay-per-view, all proceeds go to the homeless.” — JIMMY KIMMEL



“In response, Bloomberg tweeted at Trump and said, ‘Behind your back people are laughing at you.’ Trump called it fake news and spent the next hour trying to look behind his own back.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Bloomberg has been rising in the polls, but there could be some hurdles for his campaign. In the past, he’s been accused in several lawsuits of creating an uncomfortable workplace environment for women, but he won’t release women who sued him from their nondisclosure agreements. Oh, good — yet another New York billionaire with a questionable history with women.” — STEPHEN COLBERT