Guard 1: *yawn* *smack smack* One more hour... just one little hour more.... then....

Guard 2: Why I did to end on the graveyard shift?

G1: You fell asleep on your regular shift?

G2: No. I... I just can't remember.

G1: Hard to think when you are sleepy like us.

G2: I must do something... My kids need their dad in the d- HEY!

Guard 3: GAH!!!!

G2: Don't you have no respect for your duty? Stay awake!

G3: Huh? Wha...

G2: If they find you asleep at your post they will-

G3: W-w-what's worse than graveyard shift?

G2: Huh... Good question...

G1: Latrines work. And you scrub the floor with a toothbrush... in your mouth!

G2: W-wait! Was that what he was doing before coming here?

G3: No. I was cleaning the... Yeah. Pretty much.

G2: What? Are you trying to tell me that this considered worse than any cleaning duty?

G1: No. Latrine cleaning is worse.

G3: And I tell you this is worse!

G2: That's it! When I'm done here, I go straight to see the captain and figure my way out of here!

G1: Good luck!

G3: Awww....

G2: What is it?

G3: I'll miss dude. The other guards never wake me up when I'm close to fall asleep. They say I'm lazy.

G1: You are lazy.

G3: I'M NO LAZY!

G2: ....

G3: It just occurs that I can't resist what my body want to do.

G1: Soooo, it was you who kept farting all night you stink bomb!

G3: Hey! It's not my fault the wind goes your way.

G1: Y-you... s-stink bomb!

G2: Hey guys.

G1: What?

G3: I could belch too if you... Uh, yeah?

G2: What are my chances to change post?

G3: Fat chance, dude. Not after that very small laugh you made when Princess Celestia rhetorically asked herself in front of her mirror if is she was the cutest princess in Equestria.

G1: Oh, yeah! Now I remember! Oh! You are here a very long time.

G2: *sigh* I hate my job.

G1: But we are well paid.

G3: And are always with friends.

G1: ....

G2: ....

G3: Uh, dudes?

G1: Hey look! Only fifty minutes left.

G3: Dudes?

G2: I'll need to get some oats and milk on the way home.

G3: DUDES!!!

G1 & G2: WHAT!!

G3: A-are we friends?

They guards stared at each others.

G1: Uh...

G2: Y-yeah. Why?

G1: But if you leave another wind I swear I... *sniff sniff* ARGH!! You did it again you-

G3: What? Nature called.

G1: Ugh! That's it. I'll take the west side next time...



BEautiful work