Joe Simmons was diagnosed six years ago, soon after he collapsed and doctors realized he had suffered a series of mini strokes, said his wife, Teresia Simmons.

The two married 18 years ago, both on their second marriage. They met while snow skiing in West Virginia. Teresia Simmons retired as a teacher in Ohio and joined Joe in the St. Louis area.

Ten years into their marriage, he started having symptoms. He was unable to balance his checkbook despite his career in finance working for the St. Louis branches of the Federal Reserve and Internal Revenue Service. He became quiet and agitated. He didn't want to go out.

“He always called himself the absent-minded professor,” Teresia Simmons said.

When he was diagnosed, they tried to make the most of their time together. They went on several cruises, hiked area parks, visited museums and took art classes. It was a major undertaking, but the last trip they took together was in June to New York City, to see where Teresia sang with her choir at Carnegie Hall.

Over two months ago, Joe moved into a memory care home. He was constantly trying to wander away. He would get combative with any sort of change — bathing, brushing his teeth or putting on deodorant. “He didn't want to do anything but wear the same thing over and over,” his wife said.

He was agreeable to moving, however. “He knew what it was doing to me,” she said. “Somewhere, he knew.”

Teresia Simmons says many African-Americans tend to try to deal with the disease on their own.

“We are so proud, we are so strong, we can do it by ourselves — wrong answer,” she said. “We are not taking advantage of the resources that are available to us.”

She worked with other black spouses to start a support group that meets from 10 to 11:30 a.m. the third Saturday of each month at the Friendly Village senior living apartments, 5545 Wells Avenue.

“You can't do it alone without help. It will kill you. It will kill your spirit. It will kill you physically. It will destroy you,” she said. “No matter how much you love them, you can't love the disease away.”