WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG TEXT POST

The unofficial Transcript of:

Shenanigans - Episode 1 - Give Me Your Milk | Rooster Teeth

By Tyler Fortier / AchievementHunterPosters

Gavin: Hey, what’s going on over here?

Geoff: *laughing* Chicken cum!

Ray: Uhh — Ryan’s on The Patch

Michael: He’s going to fucking eat you!

Ray: Geoff wanted to do something — I came up with the idea, hypothetically speaking of course, to change Ryan’s Gamertag from BM Vagabond (which stands for Brown Man because he’s a big fan) to HaywoodYaBlowMe — and uh — now Geoff is going about it

*Geoff types in HaywoodYaBlowMe*

Michael: Haywood — ya blow — me

Gavin: Do you feel guilty

Ray: I do

Michael: Are you really going to change his Gamertag to [unintelligible]?

Ray: — because someone is going to take “BM Vagabond” instantly

Michael: You need someone ready to grab “BM Vagabond” right now

Gavin: I don’t think we do! I think we just give it to the world

Geoff and Michael: NO

Michael: You think so!?

Geoff: Michael you gotta go get on “BM Vagabond”

Michael: — cause you’re a piece of shit

Geoff: — you gotta go get on “BM Vagabond”

Michael: I gotta go make a whole account first

Geoff: You do, but you gotta do it

Gavin: See if it’s available first

Michael: — Fine

Ray: If he hits enter, doesn’t it go through?

Michael: I doubt it

Gavin: No

Michael: No? You’re just saying no cause you want him to do it!

Gavin: No! It’ll say like ‘it’s available, you sure’ won’t it? Always!

Geoff: *Laughter* Always…

Ray: I don’t know! I thought you had to pay to change your name…

Michael: You do

*Geoff presses enter or whatever the hell enter is on an Xbox controller*

Geoff: Maybe that means it wasn’t available? But wouldn’t it say? Maybe it’s banned cause of “BlowMe”

Michael: I’ll get working on the other one — I’ll get working on the other one

Geoff: *Laughs* The retribution for this…

Michael: There won’t be retribution as long as we don’t delete his account

Ray: Listen — You can’t — You can not do this to the man

*Geoff types in Hayw00dYaBl0wMe , it doesn’t go through*

Geoff: WHAT?

Ray: Maybe they can see through the “Hayw00dYaBl0wMe”? It’s not going through — Hey, you can be “BruskDinosaur78”! Like realistically, if you’re setting up like uh — an Xbox Live account — Oh yeah dude I’ll be “LiningTag593998”! All my friends will think I’m cool — or “LyricCracker”

*Geoff types in “ATL Slutz69”*

Gavin: They’re not gonna let “Slutz” go in

Ray: *Laughing* “ATL Slutz69”

*It doesn’t go through*

Geoff: Dammit!

Ray: Aww dude! “BulkierSphinx12”? Can we all just make like — new accounts with whatever Microsoft gives us

Geoff: OH! I got it!

Ray: I wanna be “BulkierSphinx”

*Geoff types in “ImStillInTheAir*

Michael:Oh god… — or do like the cow one

Ray: No…

Gavin: Try it

Michael: Do it — do it

*It doesn’t go through*

Geoff: What? What did it do??

Ray: What if — what if this is all working and his Gamertag is just constantly changing. “CarTester”…

Michael: I don’t understand

Ray: I don’t know

Geoff: What is it? “Give me your milk”?

Michael: Fuck, it’s what he says. I thin it’s on a shirt

Ray: On a future shirt

Gavin: Are they all taken? Is that why it’s not going through?

Michael: [the shirt] came out. Cow shirt?

Ray: Did it?

Michael: Yeah

Ray: Oh

Michael: Did that come out already?

Geoff: I dunno

Michael: The fucking — milk shirt. It’s another shirt Ryan hates

*BM Vagabond, you are about to change your Gamertag to GiveMeYourMilk*

Michael and Ray: Oh no!!!

Ray: Nope! Ok, don’t do it

Michael: Well — Moment of truth, this is your call

Gavin: You gotta get the other one immediately

Ray: I’m out! I’m out! I’m gone! Mine was “HaywoodYaBlowMe”, it’s taken — this is all you

Michael: Look! To be fair, I’m doing what Geoff told me. I’m ready to go. “BM Vagabond” check availability. It’s taken right now

Ray: DON’T DO IT!!!

Gavin: DO IT! Do it

Geoff: I mean it’s content right!

Gavin: It’s content

Ray: Oh my god, don’t do it. I HAD TO OPEN MY BIG FUCKING MOUTH

Geoff: We can get it back!

Ray: Can we though!?

Geoff: It’s temporary

Michael: So listen, he’s gonna change that — I’ll take “BM Vagabond”. Then when we wanna give it back, I change that — to something else — No, I change this to something else — and then you grab “BM Vagabond” back

Ray: What if in that one second though some fucking nerd is like “mine!”

Michael: Not gonna happen

Geoff: How would they know?

Gavin: They wouldn’t know. Imagine his reaction when he sits down and sees it!

Ray: No, no, I’ll tell you why they will see it, because it comes up on the activity feed when someone changes their Gamertag

Michael: I’m telling you I’m gonna click it right now

Gavin: They’re not gonna be like — quicker than he can just click

Ray: I’m just saying people will know and there will be a whole fucking thing about it

Michael: Yeah but we just want his reaction today

Gavin: It’s perfect because everyone knows he’s on The Patch right now

Michael: That’d be great if he started getting messages about it now

Ray: Messages? How? He doesn’t check Twitter

Geoff: It’s really mean, right?

Ray: It’s really mean — I wouldn’t do that

Michael: It’s mean, but —

Ray: Honestly, if you broke his monitor that’d be nicer

Gavin: It’s definitely mean — It’s definitely mean — I would do it

Ray: If you replace his whole setup with a Mac —

Geoff: I’ll tell you what, if you wanna hit the “A” button go right ahead

*Gavin attempts to push the A button, falling out of his chair*

Gavin: *Laughing* The world didn’t want me to. I almost died doing it!

Geoff: *Laughing*

Ray: That’s a sign —

Gavin: Just get someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing to press it!

Geoff: HA HA HA HA HA

Michael: Just walk up to Kerry

Geoff: No, no — walk up and have Ryan press it!

Michael: Well, it’s his controller. He’ll be suspicious

Geoff: Yeah…

Michael: Plus I don’t even think it will work that far. You’re gonna lose connectivity

Gavin: I think it’ll reach

Michael: I’m just saying, keep an eye on the light bulb

*Geoff starts walking towards The Patch set while they’re live*

*The Patch Live*

Gus: Including — they did not mention Sonic

Meg: Interesting

Gus: They did not mention Virtua Fighter

*Meg see’s Geoff creeping*

Meg: Uh oh

Geoff: Hey

Ryan: Hey… Sup?

Geoff: Can you hit the “A” button on your controller?

*Meg and Gus laugh*

Ryan: Whyyyyyyyyy?

Geoff: Just do it. Just — you know

Meg: I don’t know why you’re — will it read this far

*Ryan attempts to press a button which probably isn’t “A”*

Geoff: “A”, hit “A”!

Meg: Hit “B”, hit “B”!

*Gus presses “A”*

Geoff: OOOOOOOOOH

Michael: GUS DID IT

Geoff: GUS DID IT

Someone(?): WASN’T ME!

Gus: Fuck it, why do I care? I don’t work in that office

Meg: You just bought like — 2 systems or something like that

Ryan: Oh no… — it’s something worse than that

Gus: So for people who are not watching, Geoff just came in and handed us a controller and asked us to hit “A”

*Geoff goes back to the AH office*

Michael: It didn’t actually do it yet

Ray: It didn’t go through yet

Michael: It worked — it worked, but now you gotta pay for it

Ray: I should save this! — I should just turn it off and save it. But I can’t

Gavin: You’re gonna let the world do what it’s gonna do

*Matt and Jeremy walk in*

Jeremy: What are you doing?

Michael (to them): Shut your mouth you didn’t see anything

Ray: Don’t do it

Michael: The least you could do is pay for it Geoff

Gavin: This is the button — this is the press

Michael: I mean, essentially, he already hit it right

*DONE! Your Gamertag is now GiveMeYourMilk*

*Everyone starts laughing uncontrollably*

*Michael attempts to save “BM Vagabond” from falling into the abyss*

Michael: Come on…

Gavin: WAIT! How are you gonna pay for it?

Michal: It’s free

*Matt and Jeremy trying their hardest not to bust out laughing*

Jeremy: — fucking god

*Michael saves Ryan’s Gamertag*

Michael: Guys! I’m ryan!

Ray: Everyone should put a password on everything that only you know!

Gavin: So how do we let him know that this happened?

Jeremy: He’ll figure it out

Michael: I’m pretty sure he’ll figure it out RIGHT NOW

Matt: I’m pretty sure

Michael: He’s immediately gonna come in and be like “WHAT!? I DID THIS!?!?!”

Ray: I’m sorry I opened my mouth. I’m partially responsible. But I didn’t do it — that was not me. Listen, I went for “HaywoodYaBlowMe” and that was taken

Jeremy: I was like what are they doing because I would hear long things of silence and then like “OH SHIT!”

Gavin: We were just advancing slowly through the process

Jeremy: Every step — was another

Matt: So did he like not have a password?

Jeremy: Hey Jack!

Jack: What’s happened… If I walk in and you’re filming

Gavin: Look at Ryan’s screen

*Jack see’s Ryan’s Gamertag was changed*

Jack: Oh noooooooo

*Everyone bursts out laughing*

Gavin: Do you know who did it? RYAN!

Michael: Well, Ryan hit the “A” button that was brought to him on The Patch

Jack: OHHHH NOOOOOOOOO. Oh shit, do we have it? Did someone grab his name

*Michael nods “yes”*

Gavin: I like this message in my activity feed

Michael: What is it?

Gavin: “BM Vagabond is now known as GiveMeYourMilk”

*Everyone bursts out laughing again*

Gavin: I’m gonna go ahead and — Like

Jeremy: Oh, it just hit the Sub-Reddit

Michael: ALREADY!?

Jeremy: It’s on the Sub-Reddit. “So Ryan’s new Xbox Gamertag is ‘GiveMeYourMilk’”

Gavin: News travels fast!

Geoff: Dude, I don’t know about you, but I’m SAFE

Michael: I love making news. Remember — remember when

Kerry: I had nothing to do with this Ryan — don’t hurt me

Michael: (?) threw his Lego’s away (?) garbage on him — do you think he can take back murdering all of us? He’s just like ‘Oh, you guys had my Gamertag the whole time?’ — we’re all dead on the floor

Jack: Just hatchet’s in our necks

Michael: — you guys are crazy

Geoff: OH! So while I was doing a dick piss, had an idea — it’s a new Achievement Hunter show: Shenanigans

Michael: What is that?

Geoff: That’s our new show! This is episode one right here

*20 minutes later*

*Geoff whispering to Michael*

Geoff: Amazing! Can’t wait! Holiday spirit!

*Ryan walks in*

Geoff: Hey, what’s up?

Ryan: Hey. You guys are all fucked, you know that right?

Geoff: How was The Patch?

Ryan: Oh I know…. You leave for a second! You’re fucked

Michael: “How was The Patch” — “OH, I KNOW”

Jack: I WASN’T EVEN HERE

Ryan: Are you really (?) Geoff?

Geoff: Listen, Gavin did it

Gavin: AH WHAT!?

Geoff: It was Gavin!

Ryan: Don’t worry, he’s in there too

Gavin: HEY! Ryan, I did not do it! (I filmed it)

Geoff: To be fair, it was Ray and Gavin

Ray: It was not me

Ryan: Are you really attached to “DGGeoff”

Geoff: No. You can change it back!

Ryan: No I can’t! It’s gone!

Geoff: It’s not gone. Have you tried to change it back?

Ryan: It’s livestreamed! Alright either someone else did or you guys jacked it

Geoff: He’s so mad right now

Michael: To be fair though, Ray wanted to change it to “HaywoodYaBlowMe” and you couldn’t change it to it

Ray: ITS TAKEN! IM ALREADY OUT. I’m already out

Geoff: Alright, Alright

*Everyone besides Ryan laughs*

Geoff: Shenanigans!

Michael: We did — we did make a new show

Geoff: We did make a new show out of it

Ryan: Oh good… I hope it’s worth it.

Gavin: The thing that’s most scary is The Patch ended 7 minutes ago… and Ryan hasn’t come in for 7 minutes

Geoff: He had to go walk it off

Michael: No he had to go dig our graves

Ryan: (something about taking a picture). The kind of hell that I’m going to rain down on you. It’s just not even — you don’t even know

Gavin: GUYS HE’S LOOK RIGHT AT ME. I WAS JUST FILMING IT!

Ray: I said to stop! You’re like ‘I’d do it’

Ryan: Like I’m fine with no work being done in this office

Jeremy: Ryan, I tried to stop them

Ryan: Thank you

Michael: Ryan, you want some mustard?

Geoff: Mustard and Vinegar?

Jeremy: That’s fear Gavin

Geoff: Alright, before Ryan kills us — should we give it back?

Michael: Yeah

Geoff: We saved it

Ryan: I figured

Gavin: Your Gamertag was in limbo for about 0.5 seconds

Ryan: — you guys would not be that horrible

Geoff: I swear to god though it was Ray’s idea

Michael: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Ryan: You know how I know it wasn’t Ray’s idea —

Geoff: — IT WAS!

Gavin: It was actually Ray’s idea. I said — here’s what I said: Should we fuck with Ryan on The Patch? and Ray’s like “change his Gamertag”

Ray: Yeh I tried changing it to “HaywoodYaBlowMe” and they’re like it doesn’t work. Alright, we’re done

Ryan: Honestly, that’s the reason I thought you wouldn’t have done it was because you were the one with the most to lose by having your Gamertag changed

Michael: Ray tried to back-peddle though — so hard

Geoff: So hard

Gavin: You will see on the footage

Michael: We’re all like “Yeah yeah yeah!” and he’s like “no no no”

Ray: I’m like Gavin with a money bet

Geoff: At one point Ray was like “I’m sorry I said anything”. Alright let’s change it back

Gavin: Ah, that was good Shenanigans

Geoff: There was no password required to change your Gamertag

Ryan: That is alarming!

Gavin: Yeah that’s crazy — we didn’t think we could do it. It was $10 well spent

Ryan: Well it’s gonna be $20 or $30 well spent

Michael: $8 well spent

Gavin: It’s $10 now

Michael: Oh it’s $10?

Ryan: $10 yeah, $9.99. Believe me, I GOT THE RECEIPT!

Geoff: I paid for it with my card!

Ryan: If that makes you feel a little bit better