This is a common theme that I’ve been running into lately. Men figure what they think their physical attractiveness level is to gauge which women are within their league. So, they think they are average, so shouldn’t be going for women that are much more than average. So, a guy who thinks he is a 5, goes for 6s (maybe a 7, if she shows enough interest). Here is the thing: there is more to what makes a man attractive to women that physical looks. Besides physical attractiveness (which is subjective anyway), qualities like confidence, assertiveness, clearness of intent (this is HUGE), sense of humor, and the way the man treats her definitely contribute to “how he makes her feel,” which is HUGE with women. The man’s game, body language, outer game (including dress style) and approach can be quite important too.

Deal with your self-limiting beliefs. If you think you are too young, old, foreign, short, tall, thin, or heavy, then you effectively are! You ARE good enough! You DO deserve happiness!

I have a friend (who is brilliant and tall but chubby and doesn’t dress well) and I took him to an event and had him talk to a hot female friend who is a successful model. She liked him (it was obvious) but I had to force him to talk to her again before we left to get her number. I wouldn’t let him leave till he got it which he did (but his confidence level didn’t allow him to properly follow up). This was years ago, but the same guy last night told me (about the same woman) that “If I hooked up with a girl that hot, I’d be freaking out all the time that some hot rich lawyer was trying to shark me.” Remember that I know this woman, and f she was exclusively dating someone, she wouldn’t allow other men to “game her.” Plus, if she wanted a “hot rich lawyer,” she wouldn’t have been interested in my friend (who, by the way does have a successful career, he just isn’t hot, rich, or a lawyer). So, his self-limiting beliefs and lack of confidence stopped him from getting a very hot woman. He didn’t feel that he DESERVED her, so couldn’t truly pursue her.

And, a management-level coworker recently told me he can’t date beautiful women because he gets too jealous. You see the theme? He doesn’t feel he is good enough.

Be the best you that you can be and there are no “leagues.” Work on your inner, outer, and attraction game! Hit the gym. Maybe you can take an improv class. Some hot women will be into you and some won’t, and that is how it should be.

-Cuisine