Today would have been Tupac Shakur’s 43rd birthday. Of course if you would open your eyes you’d know that Tupac was actually an alien from the planet Zorf and he’s not only alive, but around 8,000 years old. Wikipedia just can’t handle that kind of truth, though.

I initially planned to honor Tupac’s birthday the same way I do every year, by pouring out a 40 oz. while “Keep Ya Head Up” plays in the background and then falling asleep on the couch watching Poetic Justice. But this year demands some “Changes,” and I’ve decided to honor Tupac’s legacy by strapping on a tin foil hat and charging down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole.

Aliens, F.B.I. assassination cover-ups, holograms — they’re all part of the “mystery” surrounding Tupac’s death. Please, take all of these with a back-breaking rock of salt.

1. Tupac is alive in Cuba. Some believe that Tupac staged his own death and then fled to Cuba to live out his years in peace with his godmother Assata Shakur. Following an Eminem reference to Pac’s Cuban refuge and the addition of Pac’s godmother to the F.B.I.’s most wanted list, threads began to pop up on forums alluding that he would return from Cuba in 2014. If you need further proof, just watch this grainy video of Pac hanging out in Cuba. Case closed!

2. Tupac vs. the Illuminati. Tupac was supposedly targeted by the unconfirmed secretive government string-pulling group for pushing too many buttons with songs like “They Don’t Give a F*ck About Us.” Both Jay-Z and Kanye West have been accused of being members of the group and there have even been references of the Illuminati’s involvement with the death of Tupac in the song “Ni**as in Paris.” Just try to enjoy the song now that you know it’s basically a murder confession.

3. The Coachella hologram was more proof that Tupac lives on. Well, if eight posthumous albums didn’t confirm Tupac was still alive, the Cochella hologram sure did. How ever would he have said “what’s up Coachella?” when the festival wasn’t even around in 1996? Surely it couldn’t have just been a technical magic trick, right? Leave it to Yahoo Answers to unravel the hip-hop mysteries of the universe.