Like learning to use chopsticks, roller skating takes patience, dedication, and a particularly dexterous set of toes. Marvel at flexible feet with today’s deal: for $15, you get two general-admission tickets to a Hammer City Roller Girls roller-derby doubleheader at the J.L. Grightmire Market Street Arena in Dundas on Saturday, August 13 (up to a $30 value). One bout features the Hammer City Harlots versus Belles of the Brawl from Brantford, and the other features the Hammer City Eh! Team versus the Killamazoo Derby Darlins from Kalamazoo, Michigan. Doors open at 5 p.m., and seating is first-come first-served, so derby fans are encouraged to arrive as close to 5 p.m. as possible. The first bout starts at 6 p.m., and the second begins at 8 p.m. Admission is $5 for kids ages 6–12 and free for children ages 5 and younger.

Hamilton’s Hammer City Roller Girls thrill fans and razz enemies with full-contact skating showdowns and bombastic monikers, earning a short feature on CBC’s Sports Day in Canada program. Today’s deal kicks open the gates to an evening doubleheader showcasing both Hammer City teams, who jam their way toward points, prestige, and tourniquet-endorsement deals. Guests can even choose to bring their own folding chairs or inflatable fainting couches to sit on in the coveted trackside seating section, where hordes of spinning wheels and fierce hip whips collide just feet away. As audience jaws permanently slacken, veterans such as Bitchslap Barbie and Judge Jodie rocket past the competition, sending opponents into tailspins with swift strides, nimble crossovers, and strategic midbout Lego-castle construction.

With five years of cruising-and-bruising experience, the Hammer City Roller Girls are one of Canada’s oldest leagues and one of the first non-U.S. members of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association. Three-dozen skaters and a sled dog on wheels compete on the interleague Eh! Team and the regional Harlots squad, chasing the dream of taking derby to the Olympics.