Finally (Picture: Getty Images)

In these dark and confusing times, thank the Lord for Chuck Tingle.

It’s been less than 24 hours since (unverified) allegations were made about Donald Trump enjoying a pee party in a hotel in Moscow.

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While the rest of us were still reeling from the stark mental image this conjured up, Chuck was busy at work on a new novel.

And what he’s come up with is a thing of beauty.


Behold:

Tromp Pounded By Russian T-Rex Who Peed On His Butt Then Blackmailed Him With A Video Of His Butt Getting Peed On https://t.co/L39YBUYprb pic.twitter.com/Oe2W7JwKLi — Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) January 11, 2017

‘Domald Tromp Pounded In The Butt By The Handsome Russian T-Rex Who Also Peed On His Butt And Then Blackmailed Him With The Videos Of His Butt Getting Peed On’



Just so you know what it’s about – the title is a bit vague, after all – here is the book’s Amazon blurb:

Millionaire real estate tycoon Domald Tromp was born into wealth and, because of this, he’s grown thirsty for something more from life; something a little darker, a little weirder, a little more taboo. To satiate these cravings of the forbidden, Domald has embarked on one of his usual trips to Russian. Little does he know that this particular vacation will change his life forever. Followed around by a camera crew from the Buttz Carlton Hotel, Domald turns Moscow upside down; sampling some illegal unicorn horn cuisine and hiring a handsome gay T-Rex prostitute. But when Domald suggests the handsome dinosaur pee on his butt, a political scandal begins to unfold unlike anything in the history of hardcore anal pounding! This erotic tale is 4,300 words of sizzling human on gay Russian dinosaur prostitute action, including anal, blowjobs, cream pies, rough sex, facials, watersports and corrupt political figure love.

We predict it will be a bestseller.

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But the steamy 4,300-word novel – available for just $2.99 on Amazon – wasn’t just rushed out without any thought.

In fact, it’s the product of hours of deliberation on Chuck’s part.

Last night he tweeted:

i have learned DOM TRUMP likes to be peed on and have considered writing tingler but peeing is not my preferred pound. i will think on this — Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) January 11, 2017

And just to clarify:

to be clear if getting peed on is your preferred pound this can still prove love. i do not look down on the preferred pounds of others — Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) January 11, 2017

But he couldn’t just sit back and do nothing:

He had to do something. He had to take action in the only way he knew how:

i have decided i will write. my pen is the sword and my sword is the weiner and my heart is my butt and i will put my pen in my hearts butt — Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) January 11, 2017

And then just 13 hours later, his latest masterpiece was revealed.

God bless you, Chuck.