It doesn’t matter how atrociously written the prose is, how unlikely the story, or how obscure or unreliable the site. Even if you put the word HOAX over the headline, hordes of people will still treat a made-up tale as if it were real.

This dystopian fantasy, recounted here by a site called Top Info Post, started last year (possibly with this Italian web publication) and is still doing the rounds on Facebook.

On May 2014, through Europe newborn children will be compelled to take in a subcutaneous RFID chip. Public clinics in the European Union are to be alerted. The chip in inquiry will be contributed with the report sheet on the newborn. This chip will also be an impressive GPS sensor that will task with a micro-disposable battery every 2 years in state clinics. GPS chip grants an edge of error of 5 meters, as a statement that it is excellent. It will be linked straight to a satellite, which will guide the networks. As forecasted, this chip will be essential for all kids born after May 2014 , but with a present confirmation date until December 2016.

The story is a complete fabrication; people savvy enough to check out Snopes or do 30 seconds of Googling can see that for themselves. Per Snopes,

The photograph that accompanies the original article doesn’t even show a subcutaneous RFID chip: What’s seen above is a picture taken from a year-old news article about the development “biostamps,” a form of flexible electronic circuitry attached to the wearer’s skin with a rubber stamp that could ostensibly be used as a form of authentication in place of current password systems.

But as you might expect, thousands of the comments on Facebook and Top Info Post are from end-timers with Jesus boners (the really ranty commenters type IN ALL-CAPS, of course), who believe that the RFID chip is some subcutaneous Mark of the Beast… and heralds the return of the Savior. (Those folks are even more numerous than the commenters who think that RFID chips for newborns are a sign of the “New World Order.”)

There’s so much unintentional fun and craziness there, you might want to wrap your head in duct tape before proceeding.

OPEN YOUR EYES ALOT OF EPOPLE JUST DON’T WANT TO SEE IT..WE ARE SEEING EVERYTHING UNFOLD AS TOLD IN THE BIBLE…ALOT OF EVIL GOING ON IT IS NOT A COINCEDENCE..THESE THINGS ARE HAPPENING WHETHER YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT OR NOT..

Keep scoffing about Jesus. The Anti-Christ is working now. It’s prophersied in the Bible. Get your own copy before the Bible is banned from EU.

This one stands out for the neat sleight of hand at the end:

Science is only based on what we know. Theories change from left to right. Our own existence is a very short moment in time. This is all God creation. I agree that there is free energy, but it evil and greedy people who love money do their best to terminate it. Personally, I believe in science. But what if God is science?

Also:

I recall a lot of people mocking Noah and that didn’t turn out to well for them either. Open your eyes people it is all unfolding before our eyes. God bless.

And:

It’s here. Please God take me off the planet.

Ma’am, believe me, I know how you feel.