KENSINGTON and Chelsea council has called an urgent top-level meeting involving some chilled Chardonnay.

Council leader Nicholas Paget-Brown has put the aftermath of the Grenfell Tower disaster at the top of the agenda just as soon as everyone has had a taste of some delightful goat’s cheese from the Dordogne.

Paget-Brown, who has personally donated a fondue fountain to the relief efforts, admitted that co-ordinating the event at short notice had been ‘challenging’.

He said: “Pairing Chardonnay with cheese is incredibly difficult and can often lead to fundamental errors.

“Imagine serving up a Chablis or Montrachet with Roquefort. Now that is a crime.”

Meanwhile, Paget-Brown also suggested that survivors could be fitted out with cladding to make them less unsightly to their neighbours.