NEW YORK—During the first brief moment of calm that she had felt since she awoke, local woman Jennifer Gibson’s subconscious reportedly fired off a spontaneous reminder Wednesday that Donald Trump will be the nation’s next commander-in-chief. “Donald Trump is going to be the 45th president of the United States,” reported the portion of Gibson’s mind that resides just below the surface of awareness, interrupting her just as she had been able to focus her full attention, for the first time in over 24 hours, on a thought that was entirely unrelated to the election or its outcome. “He will be the leader of this country for at least the next four years.” At press time, the looping phrase “Donald Trump will be president” had reportedly taken up permanent residence inside Gibson’s consciousness.

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