FREEDOMTOWN, USA. — It was a wild second season in the FCS! Coaching changes, clock management scandals, inactive players, double-dippers, and multiple doxxing events made for an eventful time that we will not soon forget.

We’re quickly approaching the start of Season Three so it’s time to hand out some awards for performance and behavior in the last nine months. The Game of the Year was decided last week so this article will focus on individual statistics.

Best Offensive Team: Montana

It comes as no surprise that Montana takes this award. The Big Sky’s most potent offense swept all offensive categories on their way to the playoffs and the title of “Literal King.” Montana averaged less than one turnover per game and rarely kicked field goals meaning most of the points were scored by putting the ball in the end zone. Cheeks? Clapped.

5,881 total yards

407.9 yards per game

629 total points scored

39.4 points per game

13 total turnovers

0.82 turnovers per game

7 field goals

Best Passing Offense: Butler

The Butler Bulldogs take home the prize of best passing offense during Season Two. With 73% of their offense coming through the air and rarely throwing an interception, Butler earns the right to call themselves the Kings of the Air. Flying dogs? Watch out Great Plains Conference…

4,062 total passing yards

322 passing yards per game

13 total interceptions

0.93 interceptions per game

Best Rushing Offense: Sacramento State

Running the ball is popular in fake football as it allows you to take time off the clock and, if you have the right offense, almost guarantees you will gain yards each and every play. There were two teams that broke 4,000 yards on the ground this year but the award for best rusher goes to Sacramento State. The Hornets were able to limit fumbles and gain big yardage in every game they played. You know what they say: float like a butterfly, score rushing touchdowns like a bee!

3,912 total rushing yards

277.4 rushing yards per game

9 total fumbles

0.64 fumbles per game

Best Defense: Cal Poly / Elon

To determine the best defense this year our staff examined multiple categories: Total Allowed Yards, Average Allowed Yards per Game, Total Turnovers, Turnovers Forced per Game, Time of Possession Allowed per Game. Teams were given 25 points for being the top in the category and then points were totaled after all categories were calculated and we had a tie! Here are some of the statistical highlights:

1,771 total yards allowed through ten games for Elon

25 total turnovers forced for Cal Poly

154 total points allowed for Elon

Best Passing Defense: Northern Iowa

The Panther secondary stepped up big time this season and made a name for themselves in conference play. No one overlooked Northern Iowa on the schedule and if you can’t run the ball effectively then it’s game over. Of course some would argue that Hannen Farms has an advantage when it comes to games played via the air, since the WiFi signal takes so long to reach the property that the passes fall incomplete by the time Reddit refreshes.

2,368 total passing yards allowed

182.1 passing yards allowed per game

14 total interceptions

0.94 interceptions forced per game

Best Rushing Defense: Sacramento State

The Hornets make their second appearance in the awards list after fielding an impressive defensive squad. Can you guess what Sacramento State focuses on in practice? I already used my bee joke so I’ll leave you with this.

2,328 total rushing yards allowed

165.1 rushing yards allowed per game

24 forced fumbles

1.5 fumbles forced per game

Best Kicker: Campbell

There were not a lot of kicking stats to base this award on but of the three teams that made 12 field goals this season Campbell had the best completion percentage. It makes sense that the Camels would be good at kicking since they have such long legs.

12/15 field goal attempts

80% completion rate

50 yard completion (not the longest on record)

Coach of the Year: Bilbo Baggins, Yale

This was calculated using a very complex measurement of offensive and defensive categories, calculating wins and losses and other such metrics to determine the optimum quantifiable justification for the best coach in the second season of the FCS and the results were conclusive: Yale. But not Old Yale. The New Yale. The one who is good.

Yale won this award by one point over the second place coach.

We now move to the less serious part of the awards but don’t get me wrong, these still mean something.

Best Meme: Brady, MVSU

If you haven’t been the target of this meme then you are missing out. There were many memes that pervaded the FCS this season but this one is the one that sticks in your memory and makes you laugh through the tears of defeat.

Nicest (69) Coach: Danny, Montana State

I’m sorry but if you have to ask WHY Danny was awarded Nicest Coach then you must be new around these parts. Go ahead. @ him on Discord. You’ll soon learn why we love him.

Highest (420) Coach: waxedup, New Coach

Once a mystery, a shadowy figure on the sidebar that appeared and disappeared without rhyme or reason, waxedup made his way into our hearts after responding to a direct message that Jags sent him. We soon learned that waxedup neither cares about, nor for, us in the FCS but it was too late. We were smitten and too far gone to return to any semblance of sanity and it’s all we can do to keep our pants on when he shows up online. All hail waxedup. Forever and always in our hearts.

Chosen (1212) Coach: Drew, Montana

“It all started on a cold and snowy night in bumfuck Missouri. Little ole Drew was drunk at a friends house coaching for the #1 Montana Grizzlies going against #7 The Citadel. The Grizzlies were up 14-7 and The Citadel has the ball around their own 30 yard line. The Citadel then paid the ultimate price though, and the first 1212 was born through a Pick-6 for Montana who then go up 21-7. On the ensuing kickoff though, Montana then called 1212 again knowing The Citadel would too, and sure enough they made The Citadel fumble and took it to the house. It was now 28-7 and this a legend was born, as the coach of The Citadel disappeared the very next week and has never been heard from again. To this day, 1212 is still known as the cursed number to some, but to the OG 1212 users, it is a religion.”

We have come to the end of this article and if you made it this far I salute you. We have one award left to give out but before I do that I have to say thanks for all the fun this season. It’s been a blast and we’ve all made some new friends (and enemies) along the way. This has been Joshua Average for FCFB Overtime, telling you goodnight, and keep those ranges tight.

Best Trash Talk Award:

?sacstate