Chapter 28

Ruby had to admit, Blake had a way with her hands. Once the cream had warmed up and kicked in, she was able to enjoy a surprisingly gentle - if firm - massage. At some point Ruby had murmured a thank you. The smile received in turn had been small, barely meeting her eyes. Blake seemed unfocused, a far cry from her usual sharp and piercing glares. It was worrisome, not helped by a near wordless departure. Her absence was mostly waved off by Sun. It happened sometimes he had said, it used to worry him a lot, but time had taught him to give her space, and she would emerge when comfortable.

Blake did not come out that day, and the next morning was not looking hopeful either. The soothing numbness seemed to have worn off Ruby's leg, replaced with a barely notable dull ache. Pressure flared it a little at first, but a few hours into the day and it was like normal. The bruising was still sensitive to the touch however, and had turned a sickly yellow in places. It frightened Ruby, dredging up old memories of fresh stitches, twinging pains that she could not escape, the harsh white of hospital rooms and the sense of impending doom.

Ruby attempted to shrug off any negativity by applying herself to something. She did not have homework anymore, and she did not really have anyone to hang out with except Sun, and she did not want to impose. Plus, should she really risk hurting her leg again? So she started small, breakfast, or really brunch by the time she woke up, not that Sun was too far behind.

"Are you sure she's okay?" Ruby asked. "Can I make her something?"

"She's fine Ruby, just…" Sun sighed, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "There's just some stuff on her mind, and she needs time to look into it. She'll be fine, trust me."

"There's really nothing I can do?" Ruby pressed.

"Nothing at all." Sun confirmed. "I know, it sucks...but that's Blake for you."

"So what do you do after that?" Ruby inquired.

"Uh...well I don't think you can help with that..." Sun managed.

"Oh...right." Ruby responded with equal awkwardness.

"How's your leg?" Sun thankfully changed the subject, though he chose an unfortunate new one.

"Good!" Ruby cheered. "Better. It hurts if I touch it, but not when I'm walking, so it's good!"

"Have you called a doctor yet?" Sun asked.

"No...I'm gonna' ask Velvet if Weiss isn't back tomorrow." Ruby explained. "I don't really know what my benefits are and she might know what I should do. There was stuff in the employee handbook, but the fine print just went on forever."

"Good, good...is that cinnamon?" Sun sniffed the air.

"Yeah!" Ruby chirped. "Cinnamon swirl pancakes, they're awesome!"

"They smell better than awesome!" Sun enthused.

"Well sit down and be patient, and you can have some!" Ruby chirped.

Breakfast succeeded, for a time. The pancakes were delicious and filling, but after a time sat in front of the television, Ruby was now full of energy, a frustrating feeling for her to deal with. It meant exercise was needed, which meant risking more pain, but it gave her an excuse to use the gym again. She felt like push-ups were starting to get easier, though perhaps that was just the sugar rush speaking. Her workout "routine" was barely existent, a few exercises after work, walking to and around the SDC, a hand weight she had taken to work a few times. It was a sad shadow of a once extensive and fulfilling regime. Sun even joined in for a while, chatting softly as he lifted weights. Ruby tried to avoid unduly stressing her legs, riding the exercise bike while listening to tunes on her scroll, letting time pass in a haze of punk and electronica beats...until a sudden pressure on her shoulder scared the living daylights out of her.

"Aaurgh gods!" Ruby yelled, nearly falling off the bike as she jumped. Looking to her right she found the culprit to be Blake. "Oh, hey Blake. Good morning!" She greeted breathlessly, pulling out her earbuds. Blake looked like hell, frazzled hair, baggy and bloodshot eyes, and one of her ears seemed off-kilter. Suddenly her greeting seemed a little insensitive.

"Can we talk?" Blake requested. Requested, not stated, not demanded. Requested.

"Sure!" Ruby exclaimed. "Uh, like here or…"

"In private." Blake indicated.

"Do you want me to shower or-" Ruby started.

"No...no it's fine." Blake tried to smile, but her expression was dulled even more so than the prior night's. "I'm used to you now."

Ruby blinked, but shrugged it off. She was starting to get used to Blake's...Blakism...even if it still made a tiny part of her want to hide away and never come out. "Right, okay! Uh my room?" She asked, slipping off the bike.

Blake turned, walking toward the hall. "Mine."

Ruby was left standing alone. "Uh...oh...kay?"

Blake's room was...in many ways exactly what Ruby expected from a shut-in, at least once Blake turned on a lamp. The smell was what hit her first, thick, musky, slightly soured with something that bordered on sweat but...not so hostile, and mingled with something else, something alien to her senses, perhaps some kind of incense. Heavy blackout curtains covered the window, two wardrobes and a dresser lining the left wall, the bed pushed against the right. The remaining wall was taken up by a large wall hanging, black with gold stitching, not too dissimilar from the painting in Pyrrha and Ren's apartment. Instead of depicting the Maidens themselves, it depicted Faunus in prayer, one for each season, surrounded by their symbols. A reptilian basked in the sun, a lupine knelt covered in snowflakes, a lioness was wreathed in flowers, and a feline had a single maple leaf clasped in her hand.

"Ruby." Blake's voice drew her attention. The Faunus sat cross-legged on the bed, a black plastic case by her side.

Shutting the door, Ruby joined her, sinking surprisingly deep into the mattress, several layers covering its surface, with a multitude of pillows scattered about. It was comfortable, if slightly awkward to navigate. She finally gave in and flopped onto her back beside her roommate. "I like your bed." Ruby tried to break the ice.

Blake hummed, looking down at the case beside her, lightly trailing her nails across its rough surface. "I bought you something...it's important that you take it, and keep it on you from now on." She lifted the case into her lap, tired golden eyes boring into the plastic. "I...I was going to wait, until we were closer...until you needed it but...I don't want to risk waiting." Taking a short breath, she held the case out to Ruby. "Sun said your birthday was in January, consider it a very late gift."

"Thank you…" Ruby murmured, cautiously taking the offered gift. She was surprised by its weight. Free of any branding, stickers or marks, she could not tell what it was for sure until she opened it. So she did, placing it on the bed, flicking its metal latches and lifting its lid. Chromed silver glinted in the lamplight. Gentle curves gave the implement a graceful appearance, sculpted to fit a human hand, a small one...her own. "Blake...I don't think I can take this." She shut the lid, hiding the silver gun from view.

"I know you don't like it Ruby, but you need it." Blake insisted.

"There's security-" Ruby started.

"Security is fallible Ruby." Blake snapped. "Especially when the Fang is involved."

Ruby swallowed a response as the fire left Blake's voice and her entire body seemed to slump in exhaustion. She looked down at the case, then back to her friend, her Faunus friend, who had expressed ire toward humanity, paranoia toward the world, hatred toward the SDC. "You said you worked in security." Ruby recalled Blake's effortless subversion of the SDC's checkpoint. A single checkpoint. Blake had entered the building with who knows how many weapons hidden on her person.

"Breaking it." Blake admitted. "I was good at it, because people are predictable, stupid and scared. They make mistakes, and I exploited those mistakes...like I was stupid, and I was fearful...and my mistakes were exploited in turn."

"By the White Fang." Ruby said, not in question but admittance. Blake nodded, looking at her properly for the first time. Ruby felt a mix of things. Fear surprisingly ranked least among them. This was Blake, Blake cared for her, feared for her life, promised to protect her...Ruby hated judgement, hated to judge. People were people, they lived complex lives, they made mistakes. Blake made mistakes like anyone else, and here she was, now, being open and honest to a human. Ruby did not fear Blake, she feared what had made Blake like this - quiet, worrisome, paranoid. "What happened?" She chose to ask.

The reaction was subtle but immediate. Blake's lips twitched, her gaze growing watery and distant. Ruby felt the need to reach out, but contact or even movement seemed unwise at this moment. "I made the wrong choice Ruby." Blake whispered. "Time and again I thought I was in the right, I rationalized, I excused and grit my teeth through every worry, every fear and regret...and by the time I realized I had gone too far, I had lost myself. Ruby...I lost everything to the Fang, because I followed them blindly."

Blake wiped at her eyes, tense as she staved her volatile emotions. Ruby finally worked up the courage to reach forward, only to jump as Blake snatched her hand into a tight grip, eyes wild. "I have seen the Fang at their best, and their worst, their most justified and...I thought I had seen them at their most cruel." Blake grimaced, her hold growing gentler. She took Ruby's hand in both her own, clasping it firmly. "They torture, they maim and they kill Ruby." She bit, gaze stony. "They are not freedom fighters, they are not noble, and they have no mercy left for humanity...not anymore. If you stand in their way, if you stand near their way you will be nothing but an obstacle, a witness to silence. You need to understand this."

The Faunus placed Ruby's hand against the case. "Maybe nothing will happen, maybe you will always be protected and maybe the Fang will spontaneously combust, maybe...but if ever there comes a time when you need to defend yourself, this gun might save you life, and the lives of those around you. Please take it, and don't let it go far from your sight." Blake pled. "Please, if not for your sake, then for your sister's, and your parents', and your damn dog's. Think of them, how much they love you, how much they would miss you if you were gone, how much Sun would miss you."

"Okay...okay I promise, I'll keep it close." Ruby took Blake's hands once more. "I don't think I'm allowed to take it to work but I'll talk to Velvet or Weiss and see exactly what the rules are…"

"Talk to Weiss." Blake insisted. "She ought to understand the need for protection."

"Alright…" Ruby rasped, suddenly realizing how dry her mouth had become. She swallowed, licking her lips in the uncomfortable pause. Blake's hands were sweaty, shaking slightly. "You didn't sleep last night, did you?"

Blake shook her head, swaying in place, even still she managed a mirthless scoff. "I don't sleep at all...just...pass out…" She slumped to the side, falling into the mountains of pillows behind her.

"That's...not good Blake." Ruby observed, needlessly she knew, but what else was there to say?

"Neither is drinking the pain away, but I enable you regardless." Blake smirked tiredly. "It's not always this bad, I just...have more on my mind than usual. I needed to do some research anyway."

"What about?" Ruby asked.

"Faunus stuff." Blake replied.

"White Fang stuff?" Ruby inquired.

"Hmm." Blake shrugged. "Don't worry about me, worry about yourself."

"Blake, everyone worries about me." Ruby managed a chuckle. "Then when I worry about them they say crap like that. I'm allowed to worry about others, I'm allowed to worry about you." She joined Blake in lounging on the pillows. "This whole moving and new job thing has been...huge, and yeah, things have been a bit rocky in places, and if it were anyone else I don't think I would have stayed here after the Neon debacle-" Blake opened her mouth to speak, but Ruby laid a finger on her lips before she could utter a word. "-And I'm trying to put that completely behind us. Blake, I'm used to dealing with stress. I'm used to dealing with people who have problems. Yang never talks to me about them because I'm her little sister and she wants to be this perfect supportive figure for me, and that hurts Blake, knowing that she won't ever talk to me about what she goes through. She's done so much for me and all I can do is give her a hug and tell her I love her. The only thing I've ever been able to do for her was help her quit smoking, and now here I am all the way in Atlas and she's alone and she doesn't always get along with mom and dad anymore, and she can lie to me through the phone for all I know. I don't know what to do for her Blake, but at least here I can do something for you. So please, I'll take whatever guns you throw at me, carry a can of acid spray, I don't care. Just talk to me, talk to us. Sun loves you, we're here for you, we're your family." She trailed off, Blake barely peeking out from hiding her face in the pillow pile, tears streaming from a single golden eye.

"You don't deserve it." Blake whispered. "I don't deserve you, or Sun. I don't deserve anything…" Ruby tried to shift closer, only for Blake to place a firm hand on her chest. "I...I can't Ruby. I can't talk about these things, not with you, not with Sun, not with some shrink...no one. I can't talk about them to anyone because not talking about them is the only thing that keeps me going." She heaved a sharp breath, her hand clenching Ruby's shirt as she turned to glare, bloodshot and manic, only for her expression to soften, her voice falling to a whisper. "I shouldn't be here Ruby. I should have stayed with the Fang and died with the others. I should have been hunted down when I left but it didn't happen. I survived and it hurts, every damn day it hurts because everywhere I look I see more and more reasons why I was wrong…" Blake crumpled, physically and mentally, sobbing silently into the cushions.

This time there was no resistance as Ruby shifted closer, sliding her free arm around Blake's back. "I'm sorry Blake." Ruby murmured. "I'm sorry you went through all that." Blake choked a laugh and Ruby tried to rub the same soothing circles on her back that Yang used to do. It may have been an uphill battle, but what in life did not feel that way? "I know I can't do much, but I'll try anyway, even if you really just want to be left alone...I'll always be here if you need a hug or...or anything really. Sun says you really love fish, I can cook good fish! Not that I think it's because your a cat Faunus I promise I just...don't get the time to cook much and I don't want to make something you don't want, so I've kinda' been holding out on you...sorry."

Blake sniffled, letting out a garbled shadow of a laugh, shaking as her arm moved to pull Ruby closer. The girl found herself pressed against the thin material of Blake's shirt. The musk that permeated the room was far stronger there, yet still somehow not unpleasant. "You remind me of someone I used to know." Blake whispered. "She'd start talking and...you could hardly get her to stop."

"So that's why you like me so much." Ruby chuckled.

"Maybe...I'll miss her." Blake sighed.

"Oh…" Ruby struggled to find the words.

"Thank you Ruby, for trying." Blake thankfully cut the silence short.

"It's okay...I miss being hugged." Ruby noted.

"Hmph...once a morning isn't enough for you." Blake huffed.

"You should meet Yang, when she hugs you she never lets go." Ruby joked.

"I'll bet…" Blake nodded. "I'll try and get some sleep now…"

"Can I stay?" Ruby requested.

Blake tensed for a moment, but only for a moment. "Sure."

Ruby felt a distinct and unique sense of unease, the feeling of subconscious guilt and paranoia one experiences when leaving a store without buying anything, when one finds herself suspicious of a crime she did not commit and likely would never commit. She felt the glare of every security camera, the gaze of the potentially nonexistent security, suspicious of the kind smiles of whatever employees manned the checkpoints. She felt like at any moment someone would blow a whistle, and she would be put away for something she had not even done.

Except Ruby knew exactly what she had done, she knew why she had done it, and she knew it was more than likely very wrong. She had a gun - a real gun. It was small, but a gun nonetheless, and she was not entirely sure what the guidelines on self defense implements were. Perhaps she could ask Penny, but the AI had been mostly silent since their talk the prior week. Maybe she should ask now...but Jaune was right across from her. Sure, she could trust Jaune, but the whole situation had her feeling very insecure, and gods damnit Blake was lucky she cared so much about her sanity.

A chime caused Ruby to jump in place. She instinctively brushed hair from her face, only to remember it was tied back in a ponytail. Right. Work and all that...and then she saw the elevator flash open, and the sight before was...jaw dropping to say the least. Weiss held both Pyrrha and Ren close, the former locked in a deep and passionate kiss, the latter grasped by the collar, looking ever so slightly concerned by their newfound audience.

"Weiss." Ren nudged the CEO in the back.

"I know…" Weiss sighed, breaking free of a very smug-looking Pyrrha to look over at said audience.

Ruby, to her credit, kept her mouth shut. Jaune, on the other hand, gaped awkwardly. "Morning Weiss!" Ruby squeaked, snapping Jaune from his staring.

"Uh...morning boss!" Jaune managed, barely.

"Good morning to you both." Weiss greeted in turn, stepping from the elevator. "I believe I owe you an apology, and a thank you for the events of last week. As of late the stresses have been rather taxing, to the point of affecting my rest. I apologize for the fright, and thank you for taking care of me."

"It's okay!" Ruby chirped.

"It's fine!" Jaune joined in.

"Are you feeling better?" Ruby asked. "You look better."

Better was an understatement. Weiss was borderline glowing, her complexion clear, her eyes free of shadow, and her long, flowing ivory hair hung freely about her shoulders for the first time in Ruby's experience, falling almost as far as Yang's did. Considering what they had just witnessed...it was not hard to guess the reason behind the sudden change. Weiss' smile was nearly blinding, contrasted by a tinge of blush upon her cheeks. "I feel like a new woman...ready to start fresh."

"Good!" Ruby exclaimed. "Good uh...I hope this doesn't put a damper on things but I uh...have a tiny little...issue."

Weiss' shoulders dipped as she heaved a small sigh. She had known it would only be a matter of time before she was dragged back to reality. "What is it?"

Ruby opened her mouth as if to speak but no words were forthcoming. Instead she held up a finger to delay, digging into her purse with her other hand. She extracted a nondescript plastic case and placed it on her desk. Taking a deep breath, Ruby opened the case and spun it around to face Weiss. "Am I allowed to have this? For self defense?" All present stared at her for a moment and Ruby's paranoia flooded back. "It's not loaded! I just brought it so you knew exactly what I was asking. I didn't mean to-"

"Your tiny issue is a tiny gun." Pyrrha barely suppressed a chuckle.

"I assume you want to bring it here loaded." Weiss suggested. "Otherwise it's little more than a fancy paperweight."

"Yes um...Blake thinks I need something for self defense, just in case." Ruby explained. "With everything that's going on…"

"Well, firearms are usually banned from SDC property." Weiss noted. "But they can be authorized on a case by case basis." She paused, looking back and forth between Ruby and the gun. "I'll allow it...assuming you have the requisite carry permit."

"I have one for Patch...they're supposed to be universal." Ruby once again dug into her purse, searching for the document.

"That'll do." Weiss waved her off. "I'll write up an exemption. You'll just have to present that, along with the weapon whenever you enter the building."

"May I?" Pyrrha gestured toward the weapon. Ruby nodded. Pyrrha picked up the firearm, ensuring it was indeed not loaded before more closely examining it. "Brand new, high quality...and it's so tiny and cute."

"I've never been able to think of a gun as cute." Ruby forced a smile. "But I suppose…"

Pyrrha passed the firearm to Ren, who also gave it a once over. "Certainly not military grade, but perfectly useful for everyday self defense. I'd go with hollow points to up the stopping power though."

"You guys know a lot about guns...but that makes sense." Ruby remembered that Mistral had universal conscription. Both Pyrrha and Ren would be well acquainted with guns and probably other weapons besides. "I guess you guys are used to bigger ones?"

Pyrrha only barely stopped herself from laughing aloud and Ruby shrunk in her chair. "Yes, we're used to larger guns." She said after a moment to calm herself. "Officers in the Mistrali military are issued .45 caliber pistols."

"You were an officer?" Ruby asked.

"We both were." Ren confirmed. "Technically we are still reserve officers. I was a medic with the Corps of Engineers, Pyrrha was trained as a Marine."

"And I'm just sitting here with my taser, feeling inadequate." Jaune joked. "I can't believe Ruby will be better armed than me."

"Hmm...maybe I can do something about that." Weiss thought aloud.

The elevator's chime drew the group's attention. Ren placed the gun back in its case as the doors slid open to reveal Coco and Velvet. "Crowded today." The former observed.

Velvet rolled her eyes and walked forward, placing her usual box of donuts on Ruby's desk. "What's with the gun?"

Coco took notice. "Oh my gods! It's the cutest baby gun ever!"

"Ruby got it for self defense." Weiss explained.

"I never liked guns." Velvet mumbled.

"Me neither." Ruby agreed. "But Blake insisted...and I can't really argue with her reasoning, what with everything that's been going on." An awkward silence followed. "Sorry for being a downer."

"It's alright Red." Coco offered a reassuring smile. "Reality sucks sometimes, nothing we can do about that." She looked at the others. "So...I've been dying to sample the donuts, but Velvet wouldn't let me. Can I have one now, please?"

"Oh, go ahead." Velvet rolled her eyes.

"Velvet, may I speak with you in my office?" Weiss requested. "I have a private matter to discuss with you."

Coco took a bite of donut and nudged Velvet's shoulder. "Go ahead. I'll try not to eat them all before you get back."