This week on “What ever happened to Alexei Yashin?”, we travel to Russia, where the former NHL star has taken time away from his primary occupation (counting the New York Islanders’ money) to help coach the women’s national ice hockey team in preparation for the 2014 Sochi Games.

Yashin was named the GM of the women’s hockey team in Dec. 2012, having had no previous managerial experience. But Vladislav Tretiak’s requirements were someone with a mastery of the turtleneck that’s dating a supermodel; and, luckily for Yashin, Kate Upton isn’t returning Tomas Plekanec’s calls.

He’s not the head coach – that’s Mikhail Chekhanov; he’s just helping to mold and shape this team into one that can challenge for a medal.

And by that we mean the bronze medal, of course. As Yashin told IIHF:

To win a medal would be a huge success for sure. You understand that Team Canada and Team United States are much stronger than many other teams for now. But I know when it comes to the World Championships and Olympics, it’s unpredictable. If we can achieve a medal, it would be great. It’s good to see the results of your work in medals or cups. But I’m most satisfied if they lay everything on the line.

When asked about attempting to defeat either Canada or the U.S., Yashin told Russia Today that “the puck is round, and anything can happen.”

Both of these things are true, as is the fact that Russia still wouldn’t beat either Canada or the U.S. even if Yashin joined their top line in some sort of Russo-Olympic spin on “She’s The Man.”