The Princess Bride (Amphibia Style)

Chapter One.



[Scene: Farm]

Sasha was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin. Her favorite pastimes were riding her snail and tormenting the farm girl that worked there. Her name was Anne, but she never called her that. (The scene cuts to a farm where a Thai American girl is tending large rideable snails and a blonde girl approaches her with a saddle of sorts) Nothing gave Sasha as much pleasure as ordering Anne around."



Sasha: Farm Girl, polish my snail's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.



Anne: (She takes the saddle from Sasha) As you wish.



"'As you wish' was all she ever said to her." (Anne is now chopping fire wood and Sasha comes holding two empty buckets)



Sasha: Farm girl, fill these with water(Anne looks at her and Sasha blushes a bit)...please.



Anne: (Anne takes the buckets with a smile) As you wish.



"That day she was amazed to discover that when Anne was saying 'As you wish', what she meant was, 'I love you.' And even more amazing was the day Sasha realized she truly loved her back."



(Sasha sees Anne bring a load of fire wood. Once she placed it down she starts to leave)



Sasha: Farm girl(Anne turns around to see what Sasha wants. The blond teenager looks for something to keep Anne in the room for a little longer)... can you get me that pitcher.



Anne: (Anne walks up to her until they are nose to nose. Anne soon grabs the pitcher from the shelve and gives it to Sasha)As you wish.

(Sasha smiles. The scene segues to sunset with Anne and Sasha in front of it embracing each other. Then their lips slowly come into contact and they kiss)



"Anne had no money for marriage, so she packed a few belongings and left the farm to seek her fortune across the sea. It was a very emotional time for Sasha."



(As Anne was about to begin her journey she is shortly stopped by Sasha who hugged her tightly in her arms afraid to let her go. Anne then hugs her too)



Sasha: I’m scared, what if I never see you again.



Anne: Of course you will.



Sasha: But what if something happens to you?



Anne: (they look at each other face to face)Hey,I will always come for you.



Sasha: But how can you be sure?



Anne: This is True Love. You think this sort of thing happens every day?? (They share one last kiss and Anne starts to walk away leaving Sasha in a sad state)



"Anne didn't reach her destination. Her ship was attacked by the pirate queen Uma, who never left captives alive. When Sasha got the news that Anne was murdered, she went into her room and shut the door, and for days she neither slept nor ate."



Sasha: (one last tear rolls down her cheek) I will never love again.



(The Scene then cuts to the Main Square in Florin where a large group of people, frogs, toads, and newts gather around a castle. On the balcony, where a king and queen, two guard toads, and a handsome prince in the middle) "Five years later, the main square of Florin City was filled as never before to hear the announcement of the great Prince Gaston’s bride-to-be."



Gaston: (addressing the crowd) My people, a month from now, our country will have its 500th anniversary. On that sundown, I shall marry a lady who was once a commoner like yourselves. But perhaps you will not find her common now. Would you like to meet her?



The People of Florin: Yes!



Gaston: My people, the Princess Sasha. (Sasha enters the square wearing a crown and a gown. The people of Florin look at Sasha in aw. Sasha looks up at her future husband with an expressionless face. Some time later Sasha is seen riding Outside Florin’s City walls on her Snail)



"Sasha's emptiness consumed her. Although the law of the land gave Gaston the right to choose his bride, she did not love him. Despite Gaston's reassurances that she would grow to love him, the only joy she found was in her daily ride." (As Sasha continues her ride down alongside a river she comes across a small group of 4 travelers. The first was a small pink frog wearing a green hat with goggles, a green vest, and dark-green shorts. The second was a raven haired girl who seemed to be dress like a Spaniard swords man. The third was a huge tan skinned man who wears a golden earring on his left ear, a white long sleeve shirt over a red vest, black pants and boots. The forth was a short, stout kid with white pompadour hair bigger than his head. With an upturned nose, blue eyes and three freckles on each of his cheeks. He wore a baby blue suit and a black vest, and brown, polished shoes)



Gideon: A word, my lady. We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?



Sasha: There’s nothing nearby...not for miles.



Gideon: Then there will be no one to hear you scream!(the giant walks up to Sasha she tries to scream but could only let out a small ahh before the giant pinched her behide the neck with his massive hand knocking her out. Shortly after, the 4 kidnappers took Sasha’s unconscious body to a small boat. As 3 of them where boarding, the small white haired man was ripping a piece of fabric and attached some of it to Sasha’s snail)



Sprig: (to Gideon) Hey, what ya got there?



Gideon: It's fabric from the uniform of an army officer of Gilder.



Lance: Who's Gilder?



Gideon: The country across the sea, the sworn enemy of Florin.(to the snail) Go! (boards the boat and explains the plan to the others) Once that snail reaches the castle, the fabric will make the prince suspect the Gilderians have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Gilder frontier, his suspicions will be totally confirmed.



Lance: You never said anything about killing anyone.



Gideon: I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.



Lance: I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.



Gideon: Am I going mad, or did the word "THINK" escape your lips? YOU WERE NOT HIRED FOR YOUR BRAINS, YOU HIPPOPOTAMIC LAND MASS!



(The raven hair girl does a few jesters with her hands to sprig. It turns out that she is speaking in sign language. Sprig then translates for the others to understand)



Sprig: Marcy says she agrees with Lance. And so do I!



Gideon: OH! THE SILENT KILLER HAS SPOKEN Straight from the frogs mouth! WHAT HAPPENS TO HER IS NOT TRULY YOUR CONCERN. I WILL KILL HER,(to Marcy) AND REMEMBER THIS, NEVER FORGET THIS: WHEN I FOUND YOU, YOU WERE SO SLOBBERING DRUNK, YOU COULDN'T BUY BRANDY! (To Lance) AND YOU! FRIENDLESS, BRAINLESS, HELPLESS, HOPELESS! DO YOU WANT ME TO SEND YOU BACK TO WHERE YOU WERE, UNEMPLOYED, IN GREENLAND!!! (To Sprig) As FOR YOU Sprig, Step out a Line and I’ll be tempted to have me some Frog legs ta night. (Sprig gulps)



Sprig-translating for Marcy: That Gideon, he can fuss.



Lance: Fuss, fuss...I think he like to scream... at us.



Sprig: He probably means no harm.



Lance: He's really very short on... charm.



Sprig-translating for Marcy: You have a great gift for rhyme.



Lance: Yes, yes, some of the time.



Gideon: Enough of that!



Sprig: Lance, are there rocks ahead?



Lance: If there are, we’ll all be dead!



Gideon: No more rhymes now, I mean it!



Lance: Anybody want a peanut?



Gideon: DYEEAAHHHHHH!!



(It was night by the time Sasha woke up. She soon realizes she is on a boat in the middle of Open water with no site of land near by)



Gideon: We'll reach the cliffs by dawn. Marcy is looking behind the boat frequently) Why are you doing that?



Sprig-translating for Marcy: I’m just making sure nobody's following us?



Gideon: That would be inconceivable.



Sasha: Despite what you think, you will be caught. And when you are, the prince will see you all hanged.



Gideon: Of all the necks on this boat, Highness, the one ya should be worryin’ about is your own. (Marcy looks behind the boat) Stop doing that! Y’all can relax, it's almost over.



Sprig-translating for Marcy: Are you sure nobody's following us?



Gideon: As I told y’all, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable. No one in Gilder knows what we've done, and no one in Florin could've gotten here so fast... Out of curiosity, why do you ask?



Sprig-translating for Marcy: No reason.



Sprig: (sprig and Gideon start to calm themselves. Marcy taps sprig to get his attention)Oh, wait. She’s not finished.



Sprig-translating for Marcy: Except I just happen to look behind us and noticed something is there.



Gideon: What?(The 4 kidnappers look behind the boat to see another boat in the distance)Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night...through eel-infested waters. (Sasha takes this opportunity to dive overboard, and start swimming away to the other boat. The splash alerts the 4 kidnappers and realize the prisoner was escaping)



Gideon: Wha-wh-Go in! (To Sprig, Marcy, and Lance) Get after her!



Sprig-translating for Marcy: I don't swim.



Sprig: Frogs don’t do so well in salt water.



Lance: I only dog paddle.



Gideon: DYEEAAHHHHHH!! VEER LEFT! LEFT! LEFT! (As Sasha tried to make her getaway a loud shriek stops her dead in her track. She frantically looks around to see what it was. Gideon then calls to her) DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND IS, HIGHNESS? THOSE ARE THE SHRIEKING EELS. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, JUST WAIT! THEY ALWAYS GROW LOUDER WHEN THEY'RE ABOUT TO FEED ON HUMAN FLESH. (As Sasha listens a large eel swims right past her just a few inches) IF YOU SWIM BACK NOW, I PROMISE, NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU. I DOUBT YOU'LL GET SUCH AN OFFER FROM THE EELS. (Sasha looks in all directions until an eel lunges it’s head right out of the water. Just as the eel was about to strike, Lance punches it right on the head. As the sea beast swam away in pain, Lance lifted Sasha out of the water and back into the safety of the boat) Put her down, just put her down.





Sprig: Guys! Marcy said he's getting closer.



Gideon: HE'S NO CONCERN OF OURS. SAIL ON! (To Sasha) I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?



Sasha: Only compared to some.



To be Continued...