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One self-proclaimed gentrifier in Nolita is himself being pushed out of the neighborhood. In an “urgent” plea posted to Craigslist, the anonymous resident seeks refuge in a better housing situation. The mainstream clarion call was listed under the “apts wanted” section of the classifieds.

“When I arrived in New York City, the proud owner of a liberal arts degree and a boarding school education, I was confident that no one could displace me,” the anonymous apartment hunter notes.

Wishful thinking, apparently. The building was reportedly sold off, and “the new owners seem surprisingly unreceptive to my concerns about the (many-hundreds-of-dollars) rent increase they’ve proposed.”

We are told that the building in question is 55 Spring Street. The four-story tenement (home of Ceci Cela) was reportedly purchased by the Renatus Group, a real estate firm that focuses on the “acquisition of performing and non-performing commercial real estate loans.” However, public records have yet to show the transaction.

Anyway, this prospective tenant showers regularly and knows the mundane, such as “Whether the ‘good’ fats in avocado and coconut oil are necessary for the absorption of nutrients in kale and other cruciferious vegetables.”

So, why not give it a try?

Below is the full text of the pitch: