This is something that bugs me during and after the holiday season:

People who are thin complaining about how fat they are feeling now after the holidays, making posts on every social network, how they have to get “in shape” again, indicating, that if you´re over a certain weight you´re “out of it”.

Everyone has autonomity about their bodies and it is of course completely okay for everyone to post what they want, but it make´s me really anxious while reading those things.



I´m caught up in a mixture between worry for them (because it often comes from friends and I know how much harm dieting can do to your body) and feeling guilty about my own body, even though I know I can hardly change my weight.



I´ve a history of disordered eating, with phases were I hated myself so much, that I would completely forbid myself to eat or were I exercised until I was completely exhausted, not able to do anything anymore. I did lost a certain amount of weight during that time, but I fucked up my metabolism completely, resolving in many health problems.

After finishing a traineeship at a kindergarten and starting university again I almost gained all the weight I lost back and it makes me feel so bad, even though I should not feel bad about it in any way. Reading all that weight loss talk from mostly very thin friends only make´s it worse. Fat it not a “feeling”. Being fat is not a bad thing. But when you tell them, the answer is always:

“It´s about me, not you. You´re fine the way you are.”



But with posting about, how much you hate “feeling fat” or the fat on your body, you´re telling me you hate me and my body as well.