TRY DR. CHUBBERSWORTH'S BRAND NEW RACCOON POT PIES. MADE FROM 100% RACCOONS FOR 100% DELICIOUSBILITY.

(in association with RoastyCorp.)



CATFISH FACE WARRRRRRRR!!! catfishface landmines are everywhere muahahahhaha







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My LiNuS ROX!! Web Page!!!!!

Welcome to my Linus 4 ~EVARR~ Homepage.



!UpDaTeD! wItH vAcAtIoN pHoToS fRoM mY tRiP tO tIjuAnA!LOLLL!! mAybe we drank 2 much??!11!!















LOL!!1! tHiS was afetr I tld Linus he neded 2 B nicer to grumpy tie-wearers. LOLOOLOLOL! tHaT sIlLy BiLly CaT!!!





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papa on the family unicorn!!





heh Mumsy getting ready for the ball!











This is back when me and linus used to run the yards



L I N U S C L A W D M Y F A C E A N D W A S L I K E

Y U M B L O O D Z ! L U L Z !

HEH! HEHE! HEHHHEHEHHE! YUMZ



Lets join Linus for FiresideChat(tm) about love, war, naps an the economy.

DIRARY : JULY 16, 2008 ATE MORPHEUS FOOD FIRST, THEN MINE SO COULD BE TWICE CHUBBY CHILL ON PORCH CLAW DAISY & GOT MAD WHEN SHE RUN OFF ROLL IN DIRT DIRARY : JULY 18, 2008 MORPHEUS SNIFFED MY BUTT WENT TO NAP SCHOOL THEN MADE NAPS BEG FOR FOOD TO SAVE SHRINKING CHUBBY BELLY!!



OFFICIAL REPORTS INDICATE SHRINKING TUBBY WILL LEAD TO PERILOUS CONSEQUENCE IF LEFT UNCHECKED. SEE GRAPH BELOW. IS A CAUSE EVERYONE CAN JOIN. PLS JOIN. PLS PUT GRAPH SHAPED RIBBON ON SUV TO SHOW SUPPORT.

DIARY : JULY 19, 2008 RAN INTO STREET IN FRONT OF TRUCK. COWERED. TRUCK STOPPED. DIARY : JULY 20, 2008 PUT THE MOVES ON DAISY CHASED BY THREE FOOT TALL TERROR. HID UNDER PORCH UNTIL IT WAS SAFE AGAIN. DIARY : JULY 25, 2008 ROLLED IN DIRT. GOT FILTHY GOT BLOODY SCRATCH ON THE NOSE. NOT TELLING HOW FOLLOWED BEES TO CHERRY TREE. KICKED IT IN GRASS AND WATCHED CHERRY PICKING SNUCK INTO BASEMENT UNNOTICED AND GOT TRAPPED WHEN DOOR CLOSED. SAVED HALF HOUR LATER DIARY : JULY 27, 2008 PACKAGE IN MAIL FROM BOB SAGET FANCLUB. CLAPPING!! LAUGHING RANDOM GIBBERISH YEAHYEAHYEAH. SQUIRRELED IT AWAY IN ROOM. SET IT ON BED. EXERCISED RESTRAINT. PEERED AT IT. POKED AT IT. SHOOK IT. SQUEEZED IT. PEELED TINY CORNER. TOOK TINY PEEK INTO IT. **EDITED** DIARY : AUGUST 5, 2008 BARTHOLOMEW OPENS LAPTOP EAR COMPANY. .... UNDERGOING RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY ON EARS. DIARY : AUGUST 6, 2008 BAKED TIME-RELEASE POISON CUPCAKE. PACKAGED MINI CAKE AND FORGED NAME OF WELL KNOWN BEES. STUFFED INTO MAIL DROP AND PERFORMED HAPPY PIROUETTES. DIARY : AUGUST 12, 2008 GNAWED ON ARM. FESTERING WOUND GREW. GNAWED MORE. SLEPT IN BEES CLOSET DIARY : AUGUST 30, 2008 DEAR DIARY, HELO YES I KNOW HAS BEEN LONG TIME BUT GOSH HOW MUCH HAPPEN. AM STILL ON PERILOUS DIET AND BELOVED CHUBS VANISH MORE EACH DAY AND MEW AND BEG FOR SNACKS BUT ONLY GET LITTLE AND CANT STEAL ENOUGH MORPHOS FOOD TO MAKE UP DIFFERENCE. (OMG MORPHO GETRING THE SKINNY BECAUSE AM EATING SO MUCH HIS FOODS HAHAHAHA0!) HAS BEEN SLEEPING IN THE BACK ROOM WITH MORPHO, IS ALL TO OURSELVES NOT SEEN DAISY FOR WEEKS. MAYBE RACCOONBEARS ATE HER. BEES CATNIP STOCKPILE FROM NORTH DEPLETED DIARY : OCTOBER 4, 2008 MERRY BADGER OTTER DAY! CELEBRATE WITH FIREWORKS AND TASTY CAKES! THEN GATHERED 'ROUND THE PORCH AND PICKED FLEAS! BEES EAT FLEAS. ATE MOLDY CUPCAKE AND STUCK REST OF CUPCAKE IN BINDLE. DIARY : OCTOBER 20, 2008 Packing hurts paws. Wish could pack bees. sniff sniff. 'cept he would probably eat all my biscuits. DIARY : NOVEMBER 11, 2008 STONER CAT HIJACK! WE TEAMING UP TO GO VISIT THE BRR. I PROMISED STONER CAT THE LEFT SIDE OF HIS FACE AND HIS RIGHT ANKLE. I GET ALL ELBOWS AND EYEBROWS! can't wait can't wait can't wait!!!! DIARY : NOVEMBER 17, 2008 Plans to attack bee in claw-foot tubby house failed. We waited, but stoner cat was shivering from cold. Silly kitten lost his mittens so we had to back to get them and we justtttt missed him, by less than a tails worth. we'll get him, we'll get him. DIARY : DECEMBER 1, 2008 IS TWO NEW SUSPICIOUS CATS. TRIED TO INFILTRATE CASTLE ROUGHHOUSE II, TO SEND BACK REPORTS. FAIL. BRR TOO QUICK. NOW IS TIME FOR PLAN B. INVOLVES CHOMPING ON VEGAN WRISTS. DIARY : JANUARY 28, 2009 ATE BOWL OF OATMEAL. IT WAS GOOD. DIARY : JANUARY 29, 2009 RODE ON A PONY. IT WAS NICE. DIARY : FEBRUARY 4,, 2009 PLAYED POKER WITH RACCOON CAT, PRESIDENTE CAT, PETARR (STATUESQUE WAS NO-SHOW)IN FORT HEADQUARTERS. LOST 8 FLEAS AND 2 HAIRBALLS. DIARY : FEBRUARY 25, 2009 MADE LONG-DISTANCE CALL TO RUSSIA. ATE NOODLES. TEXTED PETARRR THE CAT ON MY MOBILE. MADE PLANS TO VISIT PETAR AND PIDDLE ON BRR'S SHOES WHILE AM THERE. DIARY : MARCH 25, 2009 TOOK A NAP. I WAS SLEEPY. DIARY : APRIL 10, 2009 WATCHED A MOVIE. IT WAS LONG. DIARY : MAY 2, 2009 STARTED LOW CARB DIET DIARY : MAY 18, 2009 LOW CARB IS STEALING PLUMP FROM BELLY! DIARY : JUNE 14, 2009 SAW BRR SKULKING IN MAH ALLEY. BIT HIM DIARY : JUNE 19, 2009 BRR SKULKING IN ALLEY AGAIN. DEMANDED PETS. CLAWED BRR DIARY : JULY 5 2009 GOT ME DIME BAG FROM NAPEROL DEALER DIARY : JULY 22, 2009 WORD FROM THE UNDERGROUND IS THAT SOUTHERN LOAF HAS RUNAWAY TO MEETUP WITH PRESIDENTE DOWN IN THE DESERT. ME AND OL' MORPHO PROLLY GONNA MAKE A BREAK FOR IT TOO. NOW THAT HARNESSES ARE GONE AND WE HAVE ENOUGH NAPEROL TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE FALL. NOTHING STANDS IN WAY!! WE'LL HITCH A RIDE WITH OL' BISCUITBREATH. DIARY : JULY 27 2009 ME AND MORPHO FORMED US A CREW, WE THE FACE CLAWIN KILLERZ. WE BEEN HANDING OUT BEATDOWNS TO FOOLS. WE TUFF. OH YEAH, IM GETTIN PLUMP AGAIN. NUFF SAID! DIARY : August 5 2009 TURF WARS WITH PEETAR P. PLUMPERNICLE'S POSSE! FOUND HIS SKANKY FLEAS UP IN MY ALLEY. MORPHO GOTS MY BACK. DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT BRR. MIGHT BE A NARC, THO' DIARY : August 12 2009 JUS' BEEN BUSY EATIN FACES. THAS ALL. DIARY: AUGUST 19, 2009 ATE A WHOLE POSSUM PIE AND HAD SIDE OF MASHED DUMPSTER BITS. DIDN'T SHARE WITH LIL' BROTHER MORPHO. PFFT. GONNA GO SEE IF PEETAR WANTS TO GO TO MOVIES. WE CAN SPLIT BOX OF SOUR PATCH MICE. DIARY: AUGUST 26, 2009 ME AND MORPHO GOT SOME NEW RECREATION. WE BEEN CAR JACKIN ANYBODY DARES DRIVE THRU OUR ALLEY. WE ROLLING IN CASH. WE GOT PILES OF NAPEROL. WE GOT CLAWS SHARPENED TWICE A DAY. WE GOT GOLD PLATED TEETH. WE GOT FRESH FISH AIRLIFTED STRAIGHT FROM OCEAN TO ALLEY. WE GOT NO TROUBLE WITH THE LAW YET, PAWS CROSSSSED!!!!!!!!!!!!! IMA BUY PEETAR NEW TAIL REAL SOON!!!!!!! DIARY: September 2, 2009 Ate a bowl of caterpillars with lemon glaze sauce. Then went to Peetar's crib and chilled with Mr. Possum. Played Grand Theft Auto on Xbox and then split- I think peetar has lice, he kept scratching. Then we just waited around the stairwell in hopes of tripping the 3rd floor grumpster. Word. DIARY: September 8, 2009 STARTED GENETICS SCIENCE PROJECT. AM BREEDING 4-TAIL PEETARS. THEY R GONNA BE REAL LUCKY. DIARY: September 11, 2009 WE ARE LATCHKEY CATS. SAM FORGETTING TO FEED US LATELY. GOOD THING I HAVE PLUMP BELLY STORAGE FOR BACKUP, AND FRESH FISHES! DIARY: September 19, 2009 SAM VANISHED AND WE DONT KNOW WHER SHE WENT. WE WAITED COUPLE DAYS BUT NO SIGN. SO WE PACKED SNACKS AND HOPPED A TRAIN. ITS GOING EAST. LOL! DIARY: September 20, 2009 TRAIN WENT IN A LOOP-DE-LOOP CIRCLE! ENDED UP IN RAILYARD NEAR 6TH STREET. PROBABLY GONNA RANSACK HOUSE FOR MOUSECAKES AND CATNIP PIES TO STUFF IN BINDLE BEFORE WE GET BACK ON TRAIN. HOUSE HAS FUNNY SMELL ON THRID FLOOR THOUGH. IS VERY VERY FAMILIAR... DIARY: October 1, 2009 MISS FAMILIAR SMIRKS AND CHOMPING ON VEGAN ANKLES. WHO WILL I GIVE MY FLEAS AND MANK TO NOW? LIFE ON THE STREETS IS TUFF STUFF. DIARY: October 8, 2009 CHOMPING MY WAY THROUGH MIDWEST. HAVE A SATCHEL OF CATNIP IN BINDLE, CAN OF STALE BEANS, AND A BALL OF YARN. LIFE GOOD, LIFE GOOD! DIARY: October 15, 2009 I GOT THE FLEAS REAL BAD. BEEN SCRATCH-SCRATCHIN FURIOUS LATELY! I THINK I GOT EM AFTER HANGING OUT WITH ALLEY CATS UNDER FISHING PIER BY LAKE. WAS TASTY FISH LEAVINGS TO SNACK ON THOUGH. AND WE PLAYED POKER BUT I DIDNT WIN BIG. DIARY: October 22, 2009 HAD GARBAGECAN BONFIRE WITH JUNKYARD DOGS AND ALLEY CATS. WAS MEWING AND HOWLING 'ROUND THE FIRE! COOKED SPECIAL CATBEANS AND TAPEWORM CASSEROLE FOR EVERYONE! YUM! YUM! DIARY: October 29, 2009 GOT A JOB IN BAGEL STORE FOR POCKET CHANGE. I NIBBLE ON BAGELS BEFORE GIVING THEM TO CUSTOMER. MY FAVORITE IS TOASTED WITH MOLDY MOUSE SPREAD. WE THROW OUT LOTS OF BAGELS AFTER CLOSING. SAW SUSPICIOUS LURKER DIGGING AROUND BAGEL DUMPSTER. DIARY: November 5, 2009 GOT IN A KNICE FIGHT WITH MORPHO WHEN I CAUGHT HIM CHOMPIN IN MY FOOD DISH AGAIN. PS. I FOUND RAINBOW LAYING IN THE ROAD YESTERDAY. I ATE IT. YUM. DIARY: November 14, 2009 TRADED CRANKY JUNKYARD DOG 8 CATBEANS FOR SOUPCAN TELEMAPHONE. MADE LONG DISTANCE CALLS TO MORPHO AND BARCH BRATTICUS. EVERYTHING GOOD BACK HOME. 645 IS RUNNING AWAY :( MAYBE ME AND MORPHO INTERCEPT IT HALFWAY AND MOVE NEXT DOOR TO DEAR STINKFINK BARCH. DIARY: November 21, 2009 GOT TEMP JOB MAKING SANDWICHES. GOT FIRED FROM JOB FOR EATING SANDWICHES. I PUT FLEAS IN PEPPER AS PARTING GIFT!!!! DIARY: DECEMBER 2, 2009 EARNED SOME CANDY MONEY WORKING AS FISHERMAN IN MICHIGAN. BUT ATE MOST OF CATCH. MADE PRANK CALLS TO PEETAR ON A PHONE FOUND IN DUMPSTER BY BREATHINGCATBREATH ON IT BEFORE HANGING UP. GOOD TIMES. GOOD TIMES. I aLsO wAnT tO wIsH a VeRy HaPpY uNbRiThDaY tO mR.bAdGeRgUtS!!!!!11!! i SeNd YoU aLl oF mY fLeAs aNd mYsTeRy rAsHeS!!!!1!!1 MEOW MOEW MOEW MOEW MOEW MOEW MOEW MOEW MO MO MO MOW. DIARY: December 21, 2009 I HOPE I GET A PONY IN STOCKING!



I HOPE U ALL HAV HAPPY CRUSTMUS!!@#!!*!!!! DIARY: January 6, 2010 IT IS A MEW YEAR AND ALREADY BROKE RESOLUTION TO STOP BITING HANDS. WAS TOO HARD. HANDS TOO GOOD. I MAKE NEW RESOLUTION TO NOT NOT DO ANY MORE CATROCK. SO FAR, SO GOOD.



AND MAKE GOAL TO SEE FAMILY MOAR. ESP. BADGERSWORTH, 'CUZ HE GOT SUPERIOR PETS. DIARY: January 9, 2010 WAS AT ROWDY PARTY AND WOKE UP NEXT DAY IN DUMPSTER TO FIND TAIL MISSING! LOOKED EVERYWHERE, INTERROGATED MORPHO AND RUMMAGED THROUGH ENTIRE DUMPSTER BUT COULDN'T FIND A TRACE OF IT! EVEN CHECKED LOST AND FOUND AT LAUNDROMAT.



SO, BOUGHT REPLACEMENT TAIL IN BACK-ALLEY BLACK MARKET TAIL SHOP. IS WRONG COLOR AND HAS STRIPES BUT, SHRUG SHRUG IS A TAIL.

DIARY: January 13, 2010 EATING PEBBLES ALL DAY LONG!!@!#^$% NOW NEED DENTIST.

DIARY: January 20, 2010

DIARY: January 30, 2010 I ATE GIRAFFE, IT BARELY FIT IN BELLY. NOW I HAVE BIGGEST BELLY E-V-A-R. I WILL WIN GUINNESS BOOK TITLE. I WILL GET BELLY LABELED ON MAP AS MOUNTAIN. I WILL EAT ENTIRE ZOO. I WILL EAT GALAXY. I WILL EAT EVERYYYYTHING BECUZ IS DELICIOUS! YOM YOM YOM YOMYOM Y0M! DIARY: February 11, 2010 GOT JOB AS PROFESSOR OF NAPANOMICS AT NATIONAL INSTUTUTE OF PLUMP AND SLUMP STUDIES IN CATFRICA. WILL BE GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO SPREAD THE GOOD WORD OF NAP GOSPEL AND INFLUENCE ENTIRE GENERATION. I GET CHAIR THAT SPINS IN OFFICE!!!! DIARY: February 28, 2010 DEAR DIARY, HAVE BEEN NAPPING THRUOGH CLASSES AM SUPPOSED TO TEACH. STUDENTS ALL THINK IS PART OF CURRICULUM SO THEY NAP ALONG WITH ME. IS VERY RELAXING. WILL GIVE THEM ALL A++. DIARY: March 23, 2010 DEAR DIARY, CALICO DOWN THE BLOCK STARTED DEALIN' THA 'NAP AND WAS ALL YOU WANT SOME? AND I WAS ALL 'NO CAT DRUGS ARE FOR ALLEY CATS' AND THEY WERE ALL 'WHAT ARE YOU CHICKEN?' AND I WAS ALL 'NO AM CAT'. DIARY: March 24, 2010 DEAR DIARY, I WENT TO STORE BUT THEY WOULD ONLY ACCEPT CREDIT CARDS AND I WANTED TO BUY CARTON OF CAT BITES AND THEY WERE ALL WHERE IS YOUR CREDIT CARD AND I WAS ALL I HAVE TEN FLEAS AND A BUTTON, WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? AND THEY WERE ALL NO WE WANT MONEY THAT IS IN CREDIT FORM AND I WAS LIKE WHAT IF I PAID YOU IN BITES AND THEY WERE ALL CHUCKLES 'GIVE ME CREDIT CREDIT; AND THEN I BIT THEM. DIARY: March 30, 2010 OMG I HEARD PEETAR GOT IN CAT FIGHT RUMBLE! THAT PEETAR, ALWAYS STIRRING UP TROUBLE! CAME DOWN WITH CASE OF CONTAGIOUS YAWNS THIS WEEK. WAS ALREADY 417 YAWNS TODAY. NAPS DONT MAKE THEM GO AWAY. I HOPE I GET BETTER SOON. I THINK IN INFECTED LOCAL CATNIP DEALER WITH THEM DURING PICKUP. DIARY: APRIL 20, 2010 DEAR DIARY, I PICKED UP SPARE TAIL AT STORE TODAY. CURRENT TAIL JUST FINE, BUT WANTED BACKUP IN CASE OF EMERGENCY TAIL FAILURE. WAS NOT MATCHING COLOR, BUT THAT OK. WAS ON SALE. IS ORANGE STRIPES. I HOPE WASNT STOLEN FROM PRESIDENTE. DIARY: MAY 14, 2010 dEaR dIaRy, I THOUGHT I HAD WORMS, BUT WAS JUST INDIGESTION. LIFE ON THE ROAD SO TUFF. KEROUAC WAS PROBABLY HALF CAT. NEED TO BUY NEW WHISKERS. MISS CHOMPING ON OREGON BRATFACE, PEETAR SAYS HE DOING VERY GOOD JOB SPYING ON GRUMPGUTS. BUT STILL MISS THE STINK OF HIS BREATH. DIARY: JJUNE 01, 2010 SUP DIARY!!!! I LOST SPARE TAIL AND WAS LIKE OMGWTF!FF!. WAS MISSING FOR ENTIRE WEEK! HAD GOT SO ATTACH TO IT WAS FAVORITE TO THINK ABOUT WHERE WOULD USE IT, LIKE IF I WENT TO FORMAL COCKTAIL PARTY AND HAD TO PUT ON NICEST TAIL I WOULD USE THAT TAIL, OR IF I GOT TO MEET FLEASUS I WOULD MAKE SURE TO HAVE THAT TAIL. WAS TERRIBLE WHEN I CHECKED IN TAIL BOX AND NOT THERE, AND UNDER BED (NOT THERE) AND IN KIX BOX (NOT THRE BUT DID FIND MAGIC DECODER RING) AND POST BOX (NOT THERE!). THEN WEEK LATER I HACKED UP GIANT HAIRBALL AND THERE WAS TAIL(!!!!) ALL TANGLE UP IN HAIR, DIRT AND STOMACH CRUST!!#!2!!! I BRUSHED OFF TAIL, MODELED IT IN FRONT O F MIRROR AND PUT BACK IN TAIL BOX FOR SAFE KEEPERS. DIARY: JUNE 14, 2010 I FOUND 20 FLEAS ON ME TODAY. IS FLEA CITY! GONNA START BALLET CLASS. I WILL BE INTERMEDIATE INTERMEDIATE IN NO TIME. JUST WATCH. DIARY: JUNE 28, 2010 I JUST GOT TOTAL-POWER-PEETAR-ACTION FIGURE WITH ULTRA BRISTLE TAIL ACCESSORY!!!! IT ROCKSSSS!!! I WILL GET THEM ALL AND HAVE FULL COLLECTION, INCLUDING SUPER RARE FLAIL-PEE-FURY-LOAF! DIARY: JULY 9, 2010 RARRR MEOW MEOOW RARRR MRRRARRRW RARR! AM BITING CHILDREN! AM SCRATCHING CLAWS IN PEOPLES LEGS! IS GRUMP GRUMP RAMPAGE OF POUTY STOMPS THROUGH CITY. HMPHF IS SURGERY IN TWO DAYS FROM NOTED CAT DOCTOR IN DUMPSTER ALLEY. IS BUTTERFLIES IN STOMACHS. LIKE, LITERAL BUTTERFLIES. HENCE WHY AM GETTING SURGERY. ♪♫ DIARY: JULY 27, 2010 ♫♫♫ MY TAIL HAS FLEEEASS! ♫♫♫

♪ ♪ MY PAW HAS FLEAS! ♪

♪♫ MY EAR HAS FLEEAEEAAEEAAS! ♫♪

♫♫ MY GUT HAS FLEAS! ♫♫ DIARY: AUGUST 9, 2010 I GOT CEREAL TODAY. WAS FAVOREITE KIND. WITH CINNAMON TAILS, CRUNCHY PAWS AND MAGICAL DELICIOUS PAW CLUSTERS. IS FAVORITE THING TO PLUMP BELLOY WITH. WHO GOTTSS MAILL!LL!LL!L!!! I GOTS POSTTTTMAILL!! IS INSTA-GUT-WORMS! THIS GOING TO BE GREAT GUT WORM FILLED WEEK! MY BACK ITCHED. I ROLLED IN DIRT ON BACK CUS MY PAWS CANT REACH BACK TO SCRATCH IT. DIARY: AUGUST 12, 2010 THIS MY NEW HERO

DIARY: AUGUST 16, 2010 I TOOK VACATION TO NY. I WENT TO CENTRAL PARK. I ATE BAGEL FROM CORNER STORE. I RODE SUBWAY AND I JUMPED TURNSTILE. I WENT TO MUSEUM OF MODERN ART AND SAW BREATHTAKING CATSTERPIECE. MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER BY THIS PAINTING, IT REMINDS ME OF ENDLESS CAPACITY FOR SOUL TOUCHING BEAUTY IN WORLD@!!

DIARY: AUGUST 17, 2010 I ATE HOT DOG FROM VENDOR. WAS NEITHER HOT NOR DOG. DIARY: SEPTEMBERRR 6, 2010 I HAD VERY CONFUSING DREAM ABOUT PEETAR. WHY WAS HE FLYING? WHO WAS PERSON SKULKING AROUND ON GROUND BELOW HIM? WHAT WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN? I WOKE FROM DREAM IN COLD SWEAT. I GOT NEW BLACK SPOT IN MY FUR. MAYBE IS A WISDOM SPOT SINCE AM NOW OLDER AND WISER. DEFINITELY WISER. DIARY: SEPT 21, 2010 TODAY WE CELEBRATE FLEAS!@@!!!!! DIARY: sEpTeMmBRRRRRRRRRR 26, 2010 WAS BORED, SO GOT NEW KITTEN HEART TRANSPLANT FROM VET. AM GOOD AS MEW! ABLE TO PRANCE 3X AS FAST. ABLE TO BITE ARMS IN FLASH!!! YAY FOR DOCTORS! YAY FOR MALPRACTICE! DIARY: Octobrr the 4th of TwentyTen ALL PRAISE SUPREME GRANDMASTER HECKLER BAGELBREATH! Spent the Holiday 'round the litterbox, which was decorated with kibble and passed out mugs of catnip while singing postwings carols and eating roast pebbles and mashed meow mix. good times. good times. DIARY: OCTOBURR 17, 2010 I WENT DOOR TO DOOR SOLICITING PETS AND BEHIND-EAR SCRATCHES. MOST PEOPLE VERY NICE AND KINDLY OBLIGED. ONLY COUPLE GRUMPS REFUSED WITH PROTESTS ABOUT FLEAS, DIRTY FUR AND NOT PETTING STRANGE CATS. I PEED ON GRUMP STEPS AFTER THEY CLOSED DOOR. DIARY: NOVEMBER 17, 2010 I HAVE EMBARKED ON MONUMENTAL AMBITION TO BE FIRST CAT IN SPACE. I STARTED TRAINING TODAY BY MAKING TIN FOIL AND DUCT TAPE CAT SPACE SUIT AND DOING SPACE WALKS IN BATHTUB. I BOLDLY GO WHERE NO CAT HAS GONE BEFORE. THEN I TOOK BREAK AND ROLLED IN CATNIP. DIARY: NOVEMBER 22, 2010 NAP IN CARDBOARD BOX QUALIFIES AS TRIP TO SPACE. YES, DEFINITELY. DIARY: DECEMBRR 1O, 2010 EATING CAPTAIN CRUNCH FROM DUMPSTER LIKE OREGON BRATS, BUT THEN TONGUE FELT NUMB AND FOUND OUT WAS BOX OF PENCIL SHAVINGS, STILL PRETTY GOOD. MAYBE A TAD LEAD-EY. DIARY: DECEMERER 25, 2010 TODAY IS CATMUSS DAY!!! I GOT STOCKING FULL OF BITEY TREATS AND SANG CAROLS DOWNTOWN. ♭♪♪ MEW ♪♬ MEWMEW ♬MEW MEW ♬♫♫ MEW ♩♪ ♬ DIARY: JAMEOWARY 21, 2011 "BITIN' SCRATCHIN' BITIN' SCRATCHIN' BITIN' SCRATCHIN' MEW MEW MEW BITIN' SCRATCHIN BITIN' SCRATCHIN' BITIN' SCRATCHIN' MEW MEW MEW BITIN' SCRATCHIN' BITIN' SCRATCHIN' MEW MEW MEW" IS POEM INSPIRED BY FORMER HOUSEMATE, OL' TOP HAT MACFLEAS THE OREGONIAN. I CALL IT: BALLAD OF THE CRUMBLEKNEES. DIARY: FEBRUARY 6, 2011 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION : GONNA GET TUFF! GONNA GET PUMPED UP! GONNA TRAIN TILL I DROP AND THEN MORE! GONNA JUMP OVER HIGHEST FENCES. GONNA CLIMB TALLEST TREES. GONNA SHRED BIGGEST CURTAINS. JUST WAIT AND SEE.

DIARY: FEBRUARY 25, 2011 TODAY WE TAKE MOMENT TO HONOR LITTLE CAT.

IS MEMORIAL IN BITING MEMORY.











IN MEMBERANCE OF BITES AND SCRATCHES We join with the mice and fleas and rats and fleafilled others throughout our Loftbeds and in giving thanks for the extraordinary life and brattery of Pope Little Bitey Cat II, and in praying for the repose of his noble nibbling soul. It is fitting that Little Bitey Cat was called to eternal life during the week when we celebrate the Seitan Feast, which puts the reality of death into perspective. Fleasus, by His own napovers from death unto life, has revealed to us that death is not the end of life, not the end of jerkface existence, but rather a transition between two stages of life: life here on South, where we first learn of our eternal brat struggles, and through our heckles and taunts prepare to meet our Dopples; and life in North, where the brattery and ruckusery of this life are forever, and where we come to experience that sand dunes and peetar hallway puddler and ravioli making that Fleasus has promised to those who mope and believe in Him. Fleasus said: "I am the filling and the crust, and those who gnash and bake with me will always have pie." Fleasus was not merely content with proclaiming this mystery of fleas unto lice but testified to its validity by the example of His own lice. Fleasus is the one who brought bed bugs into the loftbed by wiggling up the ladder, by being Himself buried in the blankets for some days and, then, by biting gloatously on Northern Slumbering brats, heralding the triumph of lice over our pillows. Our face as Catians is founded on a paradox, the paradox of cat eating to face...the paradox of face eating to cat...the paradox of who bites face if cat already eaten it? DIARY: April 10, 2011 Loafigutz is the greatest cat that ever was. 2009-2011. DIARY: July, 2013



The Good Stir Peetar of Scampigan. 1892-2013 We will miss forlorn starey glare out of windows. We will miss late-night hallway croons. We will miss rollypolly in catnip at foot of stairs. We will miss bum rush for the back yard. We will miss jump on hood of car. We will miss paralyzed by fear of pets. We will miss bushy scrub tail. We will miss diving for hole in the fence. We will miss multi-cat standoff. we will miss you always.

May you rest in fleas. amen amen. Nap Time Linus comes with everything you see here. bARCH SOLD sAPERATLEY



Unicorn is Linus's favorite food.

Here is a look at his typical grocery store basket.









This is not unicorn flavor, but is what probably hides under your bed.

I hope Linus eats your face.





















































