Been a while, hasn’t it? Thanks for your patience and your helpful comments…

… all 400 of you.

… Jeebus.

On to the reviews

Episode 19: “Citrine’s Sanctum.”



So we begin with Steven making a very poor decision regarding a ton of cans of creamed corn.

No, not like that. I’m saying that he’s eating a ton of creamed corn in order to get free tickets to a local mini-golf course. Unfortunately, the Gems are off on another mission, leaving Steven alone in the home again.

After an RPG binge that reminds me of my own experiences binge-playing Final Fantasy, Steven ends up at the end of the game. Unfortunately, just as he’s about to get to the secret ending, the gems return and interrupt him in the middle of watching the unskippable cutscene… which he then misses. Steven is understandably angry, and speaks the words that end up launching him into the rest of the episode:

“I just want a place where I can be alone!”



(By the way: first appearance of the Wailing Stone: keep that in mind for later).

In any case, Steven’s anger causes his gem to glow, which causes the portal to glow, which causes the door to open. As the Gems look on silently, Steven steps through the gate and ends up…

… well, back in a place we saw two episodes ago. Citrine’s private sanctum, first introduced in Episode 17: “Bear Goes To the Movies.” It’s just like we left it: same small waterfall, same daffodils and flowers, same gates at the edge of the glade. Except, this time, instead of arriving by Bear-Portal, Steven arrives by stepping through the yellow gate.

Steven takes a moment to feel sorry for himself, but then gets caught up in exploring his surroundings. Soon enough, he takes notice of that broken fourth gate: the one with the pink diamond at the apex. After saying something about “fixing it up,” he picks up the broken piece, fits it back into place, and is surprised when, in a shower of pink light, the arch rebuilds itself and begins to glow.

Steven decides to step through the gateway and ends up in a land made of clouds. It doesn’t take long for him to find out that the room seems to respond to his wishes, as it creates (in order) a bed, a quadruple bunk bed, and then a tiny pink floating whale with oddly creepy blank eyes.

And then, as you’d expect from anyone who’s ever seen an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, the Holodeck malfunctions and Steven ends up caught in a surreal, nightmarish version of Beach City.

The rest of the episode pretty much plays out as expected, except for the very end. With the dream world malfunctioning, and Steven himself plummeting into oblivion, he screams out one more phrase:

“No no no no! I don’t want this! Stop this! Stop this right now!”

And then, once again, his gem glows. The universe cracks, and Steven bounces back into Citrine’s sanctum. He rushes through the yellow gate and back into the arms of Jasper, Peridot, and Lapis Lazuli.

… and then comes another conversation that, in retrospect, means a lot more now that we know certain things about the Homeworld Gems.

Steven: “It was awful! I went back to Mom’s sanctum, but then I went through this pink gate and it put me into this world full of clouds and everything I thought of was real and…” Peridot: “Wait! The pink gate is still working?!” Lapis Lazuli: “I thought Citrine destroyed that awful thing! It’s too dangerous! Thank goodness you got out!”

We end with a brief scene of reconciliation, and everyone goes out for minigolf, Iris out on a fun joke…

… but then, at the very end, just when we thought the episode was over, we get one more scene.

It’s Citrine’s sanctum. The camera slowly pans in on the pink gateway that Steven rebuilt. The pink diamond begins to blink very slowly.

Smash cut to black.

Episode 20: Regarding Malachite



The Gems and Steven step through a Warp Gate and end up at an ancient Gem communications hub. We get our background for this episode: the transmission towers are malfunctioning and need to be destroyed… because it’s hurting television!

Cue scary music.

We get a brief scene where Lapis Lazuli tries to knock down a pillar, to no avail. Peridot points out that it could take them all day to knock down these pillars individually… what they need is firepower. Something big, strong, and tough… like Malachite!

Cue an immediately “No” from Jasper.

Peridot: “It’s the most logical plan of action. The only way we can knock these pillars down fast enough is through application of a tremendous amount of blunt force. And no one does blunt force like Malachite.”

Jasper: “Think of a different plan, then. Malachite’s not–” Steven: “WAIT A MINUTE… what’s Malachite?”

Lapis explains: Malachite, like Aquamarine, is a Fusion. But while Aquamarine is all about utility and precision, Malachite is pure force. She combines all of Lapis’s magical abilities with Jasper’s immense strength…

Jasper interrupts.

Jasper: “And she’s completely insane. No Malachite.” Peridot: “But…” Jasper: “I said no! Now let’s get to work.”

Jasper immediately turns and starts demolishing the communications hub, bit by bit, while Lapis and Peridot look on. Finally, with a sigh, the two of them send Steven back through the Warp Portal: there’s not much he can do to help. After all, he’s only human.

Feeling a bit down (and with his television completely on the fritz), Steven decides to get together with his Dad, Lars, and Sadie and start a workout routine, so that he can grow strong enough to help the Gems on their missions. There’s a nice, cute little song here called “The Strength That I Don’t Have.” Oddly enough, it’s a duet between Jasper and Steven, cutting back and forth between Jasper struggling to dismantle the communications hub and Steven getting coached by the others in his workout.

Eventually, though, something happens. The electromagnetic interference has gotten so bad that the televisions aren’t just on the fritz: they are starting to emit dangerously loud sonic waves that are shattering windows and hurting everyone’s ears. Steven rushes back through the gate and discovers the gems are in a panic: the communications hub malfunctions are getting worse and worse, and now even the Gems are being affected.

Peridot makes another plea.

Peridot: “Jasper! Please…” Lapis: “Jasper, we can do it! If you’d just…” Jasper: “No! No no no no no! I can do this… I can’t… I can’t become her again! You know what I did last time… I can’t control her… can’t…”

Steven interrupts.

Steven: “Yes you can!”

And then, as Jasper turns to him with tear-filled eyes…

Steven: “I know you can, Jasper! I know you can do this! You’re stronger than anything! You’re stronger than me… stronger than Lapis… stronger than Peridot… even stronger than Malachite! You have strength you never knew you had! Use it!”

And once again, Steven’s Gem glows.

Jasper’s expression changes from fear and self-loathing to what I can only describe as “Badass Asskicking About To Be Dished Out.”

Jasper: “By your command. Lapis! Fuse with me!”

Lapis leaps towards Jasper, and the two of them dance with the entire communications hub glowing and overloading all around them. They glow, they fuse together, and…

… holy shit, Malachite is terrifying. From the expression on Steven’s face, you can tell this was NOT what he was expecting: a one-hundred foot-tall centaur-monster with four eyes and eight arms and no legs? Holy shit.

As it turns out, Malachite is indeed as strong as advertised. She makes short work of the communications hub, but then, completely insane, starts smashing everything around them. Peridot and Steven try to flee to the warp pad, but Malachite smashes that too, and is about to smash them into bits with one of her giant fists when the hand halts, bare inches from Steven’s face.

Steven looks up… and we hear Malachite speak.

Malachite: “You… you dare?”

Her face shifts, and we see Lapis’s expression appear in those four mad eyes.

Lapis: “Yes. We dare. We won’t let you hurt our family!”

Her face shifts again, and now it’s Jasper’s expression appearing.

Jasper: “So let us go… and go back to where you BELONG!”

With one last, titanic force of effort, Malachite de-fuses, and Jasper and Lapis reappear, exhausted and gasping. Steven and Peridot rush towards them and we get a nice group hug.

The episode feels like it should end here… but like last time, there’s a short, additional scene after the iris-out.

We see Steven being put to bed by Jasper, who tucks him in gently and gives him a fond ruffle of his hair. As she comes down the ladder, she runs into Peridot, leaning against the bookcase with her arms crossed.

Peridot: “You were strong enough to control Malachite.” Jasper: “No. I was strong enough to banish her. Not to control her.” Peridot: “But you’re still getting stronger.”

Peridot places her hand on her gem.

Peridot: “Some day soon–”

Jasper puts a hand on her shoulder.

Jasper: “Not for a long time yet.”

Peridot nods. Jasper walks away. We smash cut to the credits.

… yeah. In retrospect, it was kind of obvious what all of this is leading up to, isn’t it?

Next time: Two filler episodes: they’re good, fun, and funny, but they don’t really give all that much insight into future episodes. Maybe I’ll skip them and go straight to the one where Amethyst comes back.

- Q. Note