Anthony Rizzo spoke to Cubs reporters Monday for the first time since flying home to Parkland, Fla. after the shooting at his alma mater, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, last week. Here is a transcript of his press conference. Reporter questions are in bold.

Obviously, I went back home to Parkland. What’s going on is unfortunate. I said what I said [in] the speech. I thought it was very important to go back and speak really to the kids and families that were really affected. I’m really proud to see what Parkland is doing right now, all the kids are doing. They’re speaking out and trying to make a difference and I’m really proud of them. I stand behind my community and I’m really proud of how everyone’s coming together. Obviously, I said there needs to be change. I don’t know what the change needs to be. I’m just really proud of the kids and how they’re coming together and becoming one in Parkland. It’s really inspiring to see and it makes me proud.

Anthony, you’ve dealt with sadness, illness, death… you looked it right in the face and stared it back for a good portion of your life now. But how does this sudden impact impact you and your family and how have you dealt with it personally?

It impacted my family in a lot of ways. I know a few different people who unfortunately lost their lives. You just gotta be there for people in these times. There’s really nothing you can say, nothing you can do except just be there and show that you care for them and you’re there for them. Because as much as I want to say I know how it feels for them, I don’t. I didn’t lose anyone who is direct family, but I feel like I did just because I’m from there. Just being there and helping them out.

Did you or your brother play for the football coach [Aaron Feis, who was a security guard and assistant football coach, who was one of the 17 people to die]?

Yeah, my brother all four years, my two years. I was with him three weeks ago when we were doing the lights. Whenever I got back I always see… always saw Coach Feis, Coach Bonner, our old coaches. He’s been there for a long time. Every single one of my best friends in high school, we all have memories of Coach Feis. For him to lay his life down like that and save kids, it just shows the type of person he is. He has a daughter at home. He’s a true hero. You’ve got this monster coming in shooting up school and he jumps in front of kids and saves their lives. It’s sad, but I hope he continues to be recognized for that.

How do you focus on baseball now after this unspeakable tragedy?

It’s just another thing that puts life in perspective. I love baseball. It’s what I do, I said it when I spoke at the vigil. It’s going to get easier, life’s going to go on, the sun’s still going to rise. Same thing, you know? Just getting back to that normal routine as fast as you can. Don’t forget about, always think about it and keep it in your mind, but you gotta get back to what you love doing.

What was it like to look into the eyes of your friends and the people in your community?

It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Just, going back…you don’t know what to say, you just don’t know what to say. There’s nothing you can say. When people get shot, you’re grateful that they’re alive. When they pass away, you’re grateful that you knew them. To look at the bright side of things, if you can. Just to see how real it is, it’s sad. It’s why I’m so proud of what they’re doing back in Parkland and how everyone’s coming together, because they’re going to turn this tragedy into something really, really positive, hopefully.

Was your first instinct to go? Did somebody ask you to go or to speak? How did that all happen?

My first instinct was just kind of numb. The more I just sat and thought about it, I felt helpless here. That’s where I grew up. I got in trouble there. I succeeded there. I learned how to be who I am because of Parkland, because of Stoneman Douglas. So to be across the country and not be there and then to find out very close people have lost loved ones. To be there to help them and support them was very important to me.

What do think of what the students have organized right now?

They’re going to speak up. It’s good for the kids to go out and show that they have a voice. They just went through…who knows, I can’t tell them what they just went through. They just went through the scariest time of their life that no one should ever have to go through. For them to be outspoken about it, it shows that they’re not just going to sit back and be another statistic. They really want to make a change. I can’t even sit up here with confidence and say hopefully this is going to be the last mass shooting, because it probably won’t be. But hopefully this is one of the steps in the right direction.

Does it bother that this has become a political thing rather than just a tragic thing that has occurred in your hometown?

The whole political thing is just, I think it’s really selfish on a lot of these reporters that – no offense to anyone in here – people are saying things, people are saying this and that and as just an American looking out it’s you just have a whole community that basically their whole lives upside down and people are talking about this and that and they’re going what’s right and wrong when it should be about the kids and the families that lost their lives and lost loved ones and we’re turning this into something more, which no doubt something needs to change, but it’s crazy to see.

What has the support of your Cubs family meant?

It’s meant a lot. I’ve had a lot of everyone basically reached out and said they’re thinking of me, thinking of Douglas and Parkland. So, it’s nice to be back here. It’s normal to be back here. I’m excited to be back here. But it’s been nice, just the support from everyone throughout that I’ve come across in my life, has really reached out and supported. Because everyone knows this isn’t just another shooting, this is something that’s bigger than that.

We’ve all heard about shootings for so many years now. So you probably heard there’s a shooting, when you heard the name “Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School,” what was your initial thought?

You know, as a human being, like probably everyone in here when they first heard initial shooter, I took my next golf swing, because that’s how numb this country is to it. Until something crazy happens, when you hear open shooter nowadays, it’s like, ‘Oh, OK,’ take your next breath, keep going. And then I found out it was at Douglas, OK, you get a little more concerned. What’s going on? At first, it was just a few people injured. And then you find out [what it was] and it’s just gut-wrenching. You just go numb.

My sister-in-law was a teacher there two years ago. My brother went to school there. One of my brother’s best friends, one of his groomsmen teaches there, went to school there. We grew up there. There are so many different things going on. One of the teachers, who was another hero, I don’t want to say her name, I know very personally. She was in there saving people’s lives, tying tourniquets on them. You just don’t know what you’re going to do in that situation and people made the best of it, I guess, when they were in it.

You’ve done everything you can possibly do in this situation you’re in to this point. Where do you go from here to try to continue to help?

You just have to move on. Obviously, there needs to be change. I don’t know what that is. I don’t get paid to make those decisions. I can sit back and give opinions, but you just hope that somewhere up the line of command, people are thinking the same things that a lot of innocent kids are thinking: “Why? Why? Why am I scared to go to school? Why am I scared to say goodbye to my son or daughter?”

God forbid someone was in an argument with someone they love that day. It’s a bad time right now in the country with what’s going on with all these shootings.

When you say something needs to change, just to be clear, are you talking about finding a way to get assault rifles, or the AR-15, something done to keep these off the streets or banned?

To be very clear, I did not say the word “gun” one time. Anyone out there who wrote gun control or saying I called for gun control I think is very irresponsible. I did not say that once. I don’t know. I don’t know what needs to be done. I don’t know enough about it. I know there’s a lot of shootings. I know they’re done with a specific make. I don’t know what needs to be done. Some type of change needs to happen for the better. I’m sure people in here have kids, and no one right now feels very comfortable on a daily basis sending their kid to a school, not knowing if they’re going to see them again.

What else did you do after the vigil?

I met with families. I went to the hospital, saw a couple of the kids, just be there. Hung out with parents, brother, sister-in-law, nephew and niece, the neighbors. It was very weird, different. Such a proud community, such a tight-knit community. To see that, it happened at the field I always do my charity walk at. Good times there, and then you just see, the blink of an eye, everybody’s just upside down. I’m very proud of the community and what they’re doing, but it doesn’t take away what happened.

It affected your agent’s family too, right?

Yeah, my agent’s niece passed away, unfortunately. You just start hearing all the rumors through telephone what happened. You don’t know what’s true, what’s not true. It’s just sad.

As strange as that feeling was the last few days, was it good to be home for you?

I’m happy I went home, I really am. I’m happy I was there. I’m happy I got to speak to the community. I’m happy with way the community is, where we’re going. It’s tough times. My parents are one of the first homeowners in Parkland. I’ve seen that whole community grow into what it is now. When I was young, there was no stoplights. They added one and now I think there’s three or four.

It’s crazy to see that happen at home, because we all think we’re invincible to it, and it could happen to any one of us. I’m sure someone in here, unfortunately, has someone they know at one of these shootings somewhere across the country and that’s sad to say. It really is, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

How do you plan to honor your high school this season?

I don’t really know yet. I haven’t really got that far yet. But they will be in my hearts every day. It will be in my thoughts every day. I didn’t know most of the kids personally, but it’s just they’ll be in thoughts and prayers every day, because to experience that… I go to sleep at night and things start spinning through my [head]. I can’t imagine what it’s like for other people who were directly affected.

How did it come about that you spoke at the vigil?

I was speaking to the commissioner of Parkland and mayor, we’re very close, and the commissioner of Broward County. I asked if I could speak to the kids, speak to the people. These kids just went through a lot and I just wanted to let them know I was with them. Whether that matters or not to them…but, instead of hearing a lot of different people stand up there and quote unquote, basically campaigning for themselves in a time like that, they hear from someone real who went to Douglas, that grew up in Douglas, that played baseball there, played football, studied there, went to those classrooms, had those teachers, maybe they could feel it a little bit more than just someone random saying some stuff.

How much do you plan to continue to be a voice for change the rest of the season and on?

I play baseball. I’m an athlete. My opinion is my opinion. I don’t think it’s fair to my teammates and everyone else if I come out and start going one way or the other. My focus is on baseball. My focus is definitely on Parkland and the community there and supporting them in whatever direction they go. But for me, it’s hard enough to hit a baseball. It’s gonna be definitely hard enough to try to be a baseball player and a politician at the same time.

(Top photo: Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images)