Alexander Young went to Los Angeles for NBA All-Star Weekend. He brought his camera. Here’s what happened.

For the Celebrity Game, the coaches for the East were NBA legend Bill Walton, Internet legend Bill Simmons, and Seinfeld legend Jason Alexander. When they stood next to each other, their descending heights made them look like an inside-out matryoshka doll.

Around the time of his introduction, it was settled that Justin Bieber would be the MVP of this game no matter what. But to his credit, he was knocking down NBA-range three-point shots with regularity in the pre-game.

Common was the de-facto point guard for the East. Here he is dropping a dime to Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan. Common handled the point well, aside from being crossed over by the Bieb.

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A jovial Michael Rappaport boogies down with the dancers at halftime. This is when I’d normally rummage for food, but considering that I had clandestinely moved up about $300 in seats, I stayed put.

Rappaport makes a low-flying foray to the basket as A.C. Green and Justin Beiber watch helplessly. If I asked you whether either Beiber (age 16) or Green (47) was a virgin, your answer would probably be wrong.

Of all the star power amassed for this game, I was most impressed by the inclusion of Arne Duncan, the US Secretary of Education. Great message sent by the NBA. He’s a pretty good player, too.

Romeo Miller seemed to be under the impression that this was his NBA tryout (his father did the same thing during MTV’s Rock N Jock games, but that just earned him a spot on the Fort Wayne Fury of the CBA). He attempted at least four dunks (one earned him a clothesline from Jason Sudeikis) before finally deciding to settle for layups.

After the Celebrity Game, I tasted the greatness that is El Tepeyac Cafe.

I saw a guy who I think used to be on The Real World or Road Rules get punched out by a homeless guy.

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I also visited Venice Beach, which has basically become “Gomorrah on the Water.”