Let’s start with the inevitable: following suggestions that Cristiano Ronaldo may be ready to leave Real Madrid, reports of a swap with Paris Saint-Germain for Neymar have surfaced as surely as worms after rain. You can see why such a transaction might suit all parties: PSG could relieve themselves off a burden without losing more face, Real would get a super player who might tone down his demands at a bigger club, and Ronaldo could continue scoring at an absurd rate and make daily trips to the Hall of Mirrors.

If PSG could countenance losing Neymar, being forced to pull out of the deal for Kylian Mbappé would be a painful blow. But that could happen, according to new claims. Earlier this month PSG’s big cheese Nasser al-Khelaifi said the club would not consider selling the extravagantly talented young striker even for £1bn – but the thing is, he is not yet PSG’s to not sell: he spent last season with them on loan from Monaco and although PSG have an option to turn that into a permanent transfer, word is they may have to refrain from following through on that because of financial fair play restrictions. In which case Manchester City will be ready to swoop. Yay, a Qatar-funded club beaten to a player by a United Arab Emirates-funded club, that’s what financial fair play is all about!

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That UAE-funded club are also poised to prise Riyad Mahrez from Leicester at last, with £75m deal said to have been agreed. That’s just £15m more than City offered in January. If they’d gone the extra miles back then, maybe they’d have got that quadruple they pretended not to crave. Mind you, if they get Mbappé, Mahrez and Jorginho, the Napoli midfielder for whom negotiations are said to be advancing, then you’ll have to believe there’ll be a good chance that next season City will be able to beat Wigan Athletic.

Manchester United are monitoring what is going on across town and are considering responding by making a bid for Jack Grealish. United are also sniffing around Atlético Madrid full-back Sime Vrsaljiko.

Chelsea are also monitoring what is going on at City, primarily because they, too, are hoping to lure Jorginho. The west London club are also trying to prise Gonzalo Higuaín from Juventus.

Chinese whispers suggest that Claudio Ranieri is close to returning to England to take charge of Leeds United, no less.

And another old Premier League favourite is also being linked to a return, with Martin Skrtel said to be close to hooking up with Newcastle.

West Ham, meanwhile, are being linked with the Fiorentina midfielder Milan Badelj, who has impressed the London’s club recruitments with his attractive price, being out of contract this summer.

Finally, Raheem Sterling is considering having pasta with his lunch today but is waiting for the go-ahead from grubby newspaper editors.