Since you never quite know where the next diamond in the rough will come from, I’ve made it my duty to scout the ceremonial first pitchers from this season’s Opening Weekend. And if any teams do sign any of these pitchers, I would appreciate a handsome bonus and perhaps some swag. You know, like a jersey with my name on the back and an ill-fitting hat.

Sheriff Simon Leis Jr (AP Photo/David Kohl)

Leis Jr may be able to catch criminals, but he lacks the same ability in regards to batters. His mechanics are a mess, often dropping his shoulder and creating the dreaded inverted ‘W,’ putting undue stress on his arm. His motion does not allow for much deception or velocity. He needs to learn how to use his legs more to drive to the plate and keep the ball down.

OFP (Overall Future Potential): 40

Delaware Basketball Player Elena Della Donne (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

Tall and lanky, Della Donne has all the physical gifts to succeed on the mound. Though there is not much projection in her frame, with professional coaching, she could easily add 5 mph to her fastball and more break to her off-speed offerings. She gets good downhill plane on her pitches, but should get more groundball outs than she does as she is prone to opening her hips too soon and letting her front shoulder fly. She is a risky gamble, but with the proper mechanics could have the ceiling of a number three starter.

OFP: 60

Actor and Comedian Bill Murray (AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)

Though advanced in age, Murray shows an innate feel for the mound. His stuff grades out as below average, but with excellent command and pitchability, has the ability to surprise. Though he lacks the stamina for starting or the stuff to get through a lineup multiple times, he has continuously surprised. Makeup issues are a question, but if he dedicates himself to baseball, he could have a career out of the bullpen.

OFP: 45

Marine Lance Cpl. Bryan Carpenter (AP Photo/Mark Duncan)

Solidly built, Carpenter has a short arm action that looks awkward, but generates tremendous velocity. Though he doesn’t have the standard pitcher’s build, he works quickly and uses a variety of breaking balls to get the job done, with some wondering if he is a Tommy John surgery waiting to happen. He will sometimes telegraph his pitches, showing the baseball to the batter too early, and will struggle with control. He has a bulldog’s mentality and refuses to back down, getting the most out of his physical gifts. A true competitor, Carpenter would be a great fit as a seventh inning setup man for anyone willing to take a flyer.

OFP: 50

Miss America Laura Kaeppeler (AP Photo/Jeffrey Phelps)

Tall and lanky, Kaeppeler has a body to dream on. With her loose arm action and a full-time commitment to baseball, Kaeppeler could become a front-of-the-rotation ace, provided that she’s willing to put in the work in the weight room. A risky gambit, she’s all tools at this point having received little-to-no baseball instruction, but is the type of pitcher who could either lead a rotation or soon be driving the buses in the California League.

OFP: 70