If you write for the National Review Online and you’re not getting yourself all worked up about something all the time, you’re not doing it right.

Today, it’s those damned liberals and their ridiculous and nefarious attempts at inclusivity.

“Don’t use phrases such as ‘boys and girls,’ ‘you guys,’ ‘ladies and gentlemen,’ and similarly gendered expressions to get kids’ attention,” instructs a training document given to middle-school teachers at Lincoln Public Schools. “Create classroom names and then ask all of the ‘purple penguins’ to meet on the rug,” it advises.

My son, who is 4 years old, is in the “bears” classroom at day care. Last year, I think, he was a “fish.” I presume it helps when the various pre-k classrooms get together on the playground; the teachers can say something like, “OK. All the ‘bears’ line up to go inside for snack.”

This is an absolute non-issue for the kids. I don’t think my son has ever commented on being a “bear” instead of a “fish,” apart from saying that they colored on cut-outs of bears during their first week in the new classroom. It gives them a theme for the year. It doesn’t affect his identity; it doesn’t confuse him when there are boys and girls who are all called bears. He doesn’t believe himself to be a girl or an actual bear.

But let’s imagine for a moment that my little boy did believe himself to be a little girl. If my kid was transgender, I can only imagine how helpful it would be to have a system in place that made at least one thing easier, that focused on drawing all the kids together as “bears” or “fish” or “purple penguins” rather than leaving my kid feeling unusual and isolated.

Let me say this again: Fun classroom animal names is an absolute non-issue for the kids in the classroom. It’s only an issue for certain conservatives who want to get themselves all worked up and yell at liberals.

Like the geniuses who are commenting on the NRO story: