The shameful situation...

In 2005, then-senator Joey Pendleton (D-3), a dairy farm owner no less, introduced Senate Bill 93, which read: “An act relating to state emblems. Creates a new section of KRS Chapter 2 to designate milk as the official drink of Kentucky.” It passed the Senate 37-0, the House 88-5, and was signed into law by Republican Governor Ernie Fletcher.

That's right. Kentucky, the land where America's only native spirit was born, is currently one of 20 states where dairy lobbyists and bores have successfully pushed to make awful MILK the official drink. The others are Arkansas, Delaware, Louisiana, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, Nebraska, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Vermont, Virginia, and Wisconsin. Similarly, Coca-Cola lobbyists blocked a 2013 effort to make Ale-8-One Kentucky’s official state soft drink.

This is very stupid.

Milk is boring, bland, and contributes next to nothing to Kentucky’s image or economy. Bourbon, on the other hand, is wildly popular around the world, unique to the Commonwealth, a source of pride for its citizens, a major economic driver, and conjures an idyllic image of our state in the minds of those who might choose to visit or do business here.

Washington D.C. has the lime rickey as its official drink (Cool!), Puerto Rico has the piña colada (Cool!), Maine has the soft drink Moxie (Cool!), Kentucky and 19 other states have cow juice (Not cool!).

All true Kentuckians and bourbon connoisseurs around the world should band together in a spirit of righteous indignation and demand the complete obliteration of milk from the Kentucky Revised Statutes for all of eternity.

In short, milk must be destroyed and bourbon elevated to its rightful place as Kentucky’s official state beverage. Join us!

Still not sold? Here's some additional info to illustrate the ridiculous predicament we find ourselves in.

Kentucky milk facts...

Compared to other U.S. states, Kentucky ranks 27th in milk production, 26th in number of milk cows, 40th in milk output per cow, and 12th in the number of licensed dairy operations.

In terms of revenue generated, milk isn’t even in the Top 5 Kentucky agricultural products. Cash receipts for the sale of Kentucky milk in 2016 totaled only $192 million. California dairies, in comparison, sold $6.2 billion worth of milk in the same year.

The Kentucky dairy industry generates an almost nonexistent amount of tourism dollars, no positive press, and, in general, no state pride.

Kentucky bourbon facts…

The first sentence on the “Existing Industries” page of the Kentucky Cabinet for Economic Development’s website is, “When you think of Kentucky’s major industries of course you think bourbon. We do too.”

95% of the world’s bourbon is made in Kentucky.

Bourbon is an $8.5 billion signature industry in Kentucky, generating 17,500 jobs with an annual payroll of $800 million. Spirits production and consumption pours more than $825 million in federal, state and local tax coffers every year.

Nearly 60 percent of every bottle of spirits in Kentucky goes to taxes or fees, with seven different taxes on Bourbon – including an ad valorem tax on barrels each and every year it ages. Distillers also are paying $17,814,134 in ad valorem barrel taxes this year, another all-time high. Revenue from this tax funds education, public safety, public health and other needs in local communities where barrels are stored.

U.S. distilled spirits exports topped $1.5 billion in 2013. Kentucky Bourbon and Tennessee whiskey made up more than $1 billion of that amount, making it the largest export category among all U.S. distilled spirits.

Bourbon is good.

See? Pretty insane, right? Let's put an end to this milk madness ASAP and MAKE BOURBON THE OFFICIAL STATE BEVERAGE OF KENTUCKY like it should've been from the get-go. Hell yeah!