The redoubtable Gabe Sherman has another inside look at the paltry, ping-ponging passel of brain cells flitting about our pr*sident’s capacious kopf.

Inside sources tell Sherman that Trump is becoming increasingly paranoid over coronavirus — simultaneously worrying that the media are hyping the virus to make him look bad and fretting that journalists might contract the virus deliberately in order to give it to him on Air Force One.

One former West Wing official told Sherman that the situation is rapidly spinning out of Trump’s control: “He is trying to control the narrative and he can’t,” said the source.

Thank God we live in a representative democracy where mad kings are no longer allowed to hold so much sway over us.

Vanity Fair:

The problem is that the crisis fits into his preexisting and deeply held worldview—that the media is always searching for a story to bring him down. Covid-19 is merely the latest instance, and he’s reacting in familiar ways. “So much FAKE NEWS!” Trump tweeted this morning. “He wants Justice to open investigations of the media for market manipulation,” a source close to the White House told me. Trump is also frustrated with his West Wing for not getting a handle on the news cycle. “He’s very frustrated he doesn’t have a good team around him,” a former White House official said. On Friday he forced out acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney and replaced him with former House Freedom Caucus chair Mark Meadows. Trump thought the virus was “getting beyond Mick,” a person briefed on the internal discussions said.

But if you think that’s crazy, just get a load of this:

Stories about Trump’s coronavirus fears have spread through the White House. Last week Trump told aides he’s afraid journalists will try to purposefully contract coronavirus to give it to him on Air Force One, a person close to the administration told me. The source also said Trump has asked the Secret Service to set up a screening program and bar anyone who has a cough from the White House grounds. “He’s definitely melting down over this,” the source said.

So he wants us all to go out shopping and is dismissing the severity of this crisis at every turn, but he still wants to be protected like a bubble boy at all times.

Sounds about right.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.