I have owned the tape of this for almost a year now and I have finally gotten around to getting a VHS player, the first thing I did was put this movie in! But this movie sucks dick. Don’t get me wrong I love Toho and I love Godzilla but this one felt so disjointed and wrong. And I think this is the only Godzilla movie I really hate! So let’s talk about it babooshka.

Highs!

The final 10 minutes: Everything up until this point was tedious filler and weird slapstick that the American version decided to put in. I really liked the fight for the sole reason that it was hilarious watching these two clods try to duke it out. I especially love how King Kong resorts to rock throwing 90% of the time, and electricity makes him more powerful. Funnily enough, the movie was originally supposed to be King Kong vs. Frankenstein and the latter was the one who was supposed to get stronger from lightning. Thanks John Beck. you’re a real American hero.

Godzilla: I love this kaiju and I am obsessed with him, he looks great in this movie and he hasn’t turned into the campy version we know and love quite yet. I may be wrong but I don’t remember hearing his theme at all the entire movie and that bums me out!

The effects: You’ll see me mention that I love the effects in movie a lot. I’m a practical effects puritan and I love seeing how they accomplished a shot or managed to make something look like it’s bigger than it is. That to me is true movie magic, and the Godzilla franchise has always been good at that and this movie is no exception.

Lows!

The first hour and twenty minutes: I hated every second of this movie up until the final fight, I don’t care about the characters that are involved. The American version has butchered it too, they added dumb comedy bits and over exaggerated every characters performance. And the added scenes with the United Nations reporter talking about how Godzilla is a mix between a Tyrannosaurus and a Stegosaurus made me ill. I would also like to mention he points at an Allosaurus, not a Tyrannosaurus. He demonstrated his point through a children’s book I might add.

Length: This movie didn’t need to be an hour and half, adding pointless scenes that make the movie disjointed is not only annoying but it’s jarring for the viewer. I think most of the reasoning they made in this movie was bullshit and ultimately made the film weaker. And no I don’t think I could do it better.

Music: The American version is famous for being so different from the original Japanese version, and the biggest thing to me was the soundtrack being taken out entirely. Instead they used music from “Creature from the Black Lagoon” which while it is a nice callback it doesn’t fit the story.

The Plane Debacle: What the fuck dude, they actually overdubbed the fact that a boat went missing out at sea with Sakurai on it and instead said it was a plane crash. Dude, I was so confused after the movie I had to look up what they meant and found that the American version took it upon themselves to change this one detail and for me it is one the most baffling changes and the biggest mistake.

The Ending: There was an old rumor before the internet that in the American version King Kong wins and in the Japanese version Godzilla wins. And I think I figured out where that rumor came from, in the end of the American version King Kong starts to swim back to his island and roars, Godzilla is seemingly dead. But in the Japanese version they both roar, implying it was a tie! Why change this? I don’t get why the American version is so butchered, and I wonder if the Japanese one would be better, but I read that it has even more pointless scenes!

Conclusion

This movie sucks, both version sucks, if you like this movie you’re wrong and I think this is probably the worst Godzilla movie that i’ve seen yet. Don’t get me wrong I love the matchup in its own way and I really loved seeing the East and West duke it out metaphorically! But in the end I feel like I wasted my time and I wouldn’t watch it again.

You should: Skip it!