“Dear PoPville,

Some terrible person stole my dear Sir Chester, who was a gift from my mother. Is there anywhere in this city where a ceramic pig can feel safe??”

More from Craigslist:

“Sometime during the weekend of October 19, Sir Chester Southington was kidnapped from his Barracks Row home.

If you see Sir Chester appear on a new front porch or elsewhere on this site, please contact us immediately. We miss our friend and protector.”