TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford will be reducing the number of elected municipal representatives in Toronto by culling over a million of its residents.

47 councillors for approximately 2.8 million people is too large, according to the province, and population cuts will have to be made.

“Toronto will run much more effectively if fewer people existed,” said Ford. “To clarify, I’m not being vindictive against my former colleagues by eliminating their constituents and pitting council allies against one another in an election…if they survive the population redistribution.”

When asked why Ford is only reducing the number of representatives (and therefore people) in Toronto, and not in any other Ontario municipality such as Ottawa, Mississauga, or Hamilton, Ford replied by ordering the execution of the journalist who asked the question.

The premier will announce which wards will be eliminated, and which ones voted for him.

Sources say the culling will be carried out by the provincial healthcare system once the government finds its ‘efficiencies.’