His efforts to regain function were “smaller than taking baby steps — it was baby steps with a disability,” Ms. Renzoni said.

Still, she said, “he was my husband, not my child, and I didn’t want to treat him like a child. I had to watch as he struggled to find the right words, which was very hard. I wouldn’t necessarily answer for him, but I would step in if I could tell he was getting frustrated. When we went out to dinner, after he tried for 10 minutes to say what he wanted to eat, I would ask if he would like me to order for him.”

But, she added, it’s important not to be an enabler. A stroke survivor “has to struggle if he’s going to get better. It wasn’t that his right arm wasn’t working. It’s that his brain wasn’t sending signals to the arm.” She read about tying down his left arm to force him to use the right, based on the theory that doing so would enable the right arm to become reconnected to the brain, which it eventually did.

Ms. Renzoni has a lot more practical advice for those caring for stroke survivors. Perhaps most important is connecting with other caregivers nearby who are facing a similar challenge.

“It’s very helpful to know you’re not alone,” she said. “I would ask nurses, doctors, therapists: ‘Do you know others in this situation I can talk to?’”

She also cautions loved ones “not to listen to doctors who say the person won’t ever recover or that recovery stops at six months to a year. Ted continued to recover for more than a decade. In fact, he’s still recovering 14 years after his stroke.”

Ms. Renzoni, who has since become a licensed social worker, said stroke survivors are not the only ones in need of therapy. Caregivers, too, need therapy and need to know how to care for themselves. “You need your time and your time only. My life stopped for a while. I didn’t leave Ted home alone for maybe six weeks except to run to the grocery store, and he wouldn’t allow me to hire anyone to be there with him. I think caregivers should ask friends and relatives to come and relieve them,” she said.