Mother of mercy, Papa Francesco gets results.

Speaker John A. Boehner, under intense pressure from conservatives in his party, will resign one of the most powerful positions in government and give up his House seat at the end of October, throwing Congress into chaos as it tries to avert a government shutdown. Mr. Boehner made the announcement in an emotional meeting with his fellow Republicans on Friday morning. The Ohio representative struggled from almost the moment he took the speaker's gavel in 2011 to manage the challenges of divided government and to hold together his fractious and increasingly conservative Republican members.

Way I figure it is this. In their private chat yesterday, Boehner explained to the pope the problems he was having with the flying monkey caucus, and Papa Francesco who, after all, heads a bureaucracy with a long history as a seething cauldron of ambition, scandal, murder and betrayal, as well as a unique tradition of crazy institutional proceedings (See: Cadaver Synod), listened to Boehner's plight and said, mildly, "Jesus H. Christ in a Fiat, my son, these people crazy. Get out while you can." That's the way I'm going to figure it, anyway.

Welcome to the monkeyhouse, America. The prion disease afflicting the Republican party finally has devoured the last vestiges of the Republican party's higher functions. I had as many problems with Boehner as Speaker as anyone did, but, dammit, he at least believed that the government should keep running. And, as much as the Times wants to believe it, this has nothing to do with the "challenges of divided government," and everything to do with the fact that the modern Republican party, especially in the House of Representatives, is completely demented.

(By the way, if I were any of the Republican presidential candidates, with the possible exception of Ted Cruz, I'd be terrified by this development. If the House goes completely mad, if there is (as I suspect) a wild and bloody battle over the next Speaker, that's going to be what the eventual nominee has to deal with every day on the campaign trail.)

I'd be lying if I said I knew what's going to happen next. Boehner bails around Halloween. The idiotic attempt to shut down the government over Planned Parenthood just went into hyperdrive. Somehow, the Republican caucus is going to have to elect a new speaker in the middle of what may turn out to be utter legislative chaos.

So, Trey, Louie, Darrell, Mark Meadows, Virginia Foxx, and de facto Speaker Cruz, congratulations. You got him. You're the dog that caught the car. Your entire congressional party is now a third-rate evening drive-time talk show. Have fun. Try to leave a little of the country intact for the rest of us.

Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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