This has not been the most enlightening or nourishing of election seasons, to put it mildly. There are few substantive themes or arguments defining the debate; campaigns have instead been consumed by disputes over candidates’ residency or over the originality of boilerplate language in campaign platforms nobody reads. Meanwhile, Washington pundits have been fixated on President Obama’s awkward dance with Democratic candidates in red and purple states, flying into echo-chamber tizzies whenever Obama dares to suggest that his policy agenda (much of which is more popular than he himself is) depends on enough of these candidates winning their races.

But for sheer inanity, it’s hard to beat what’s been underway the past few days in Virginia, where Democrat Mark Warner, the cell phone tycoon-turned-governor-turned-senator, has been holding a steady lead in the polls against Ed Gillespie, a mild-mannered Republican operative and lobbyist. Gillespie has had difficulty getting purchase against Warner, which helps explain why he leapt at the recent sniff of scandal around Warner: reports that Warner dangled the prospect of a federal judgeship for the daughter of a Democratic state senator, to keep him from resigning from a seat in southwestern Virginia that Republicans would easily pick up, thus handing them control of the state Senate.

That does sound pretty sketchy in a Frank Underwood sort of way, doesn’t it? Except, of course, there’s a lot more to the story, which makes the Republicans’ attempt to make hay of it one of the most comically brazen gambits in the history of political attacks.

To keep it brief: In early June, Democratic state senator Phillip Puckett, announced his resignation from a seat he had held since 1998. The resignation was devastating to Governor Terry McAuliffe, as it not only would hand control of the Senate to Republicans, who already held the legislature’s lower chamber, but would further undermine McAuliffe’s overriding priority, accepting the expansion of Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act for 400,000 low-income Virginians. Why ever would Puckett resign at such a crucial moment, with health coverage for tens of thousands of his own constituents hanging in the balance? Well, here’s why (as the Washington Post put it):

Republicans appear to have outmaneuvered Gov. Terry McAuliffe in a state budget standoff by persuading a Democratic senator to resign his seat … Sen. Phillip P. Puckett (D-Russell) will announce his resignation Monday, effective immediately, paving the way to appoint his daughter to a judgeship and Puckett to the job of deputy director of the state tobacco commission, three people familiar with the plan said Sunday.

Yes, indeed. Del. Terry G. Kilgore, the Republican chairman of the tobacco commission (which disburses grants funded by the national tobacco litigation settlement), told the Post that the commission was planning to meet as early as that very week to consider appointing Puckett. Kilgore “disputed the notion that Puckett was resigning in exchange for the tobacco commission job, but he said the resignation made Puckett available to take the position.” Convenient! Puckett’s salary, Kilgore added, “would be determined by the commission.”