You can never fully understand death and the effects that it has until you lose someone really close to you.

All my life I had been so busy with my daily routine, future plans and material wealth that I had never really given serious thought to death and the funeral arrangements that proceed it.

I still remember that time so vividly.

I used to take public transport to get to college because my mum was usually sick. But, on this particular day, mum was feeling pretty good and that meant she was going to drive me. But she didn’t just drive me to college, she even cooked me some breakfast. It felt so good to be a normal and healthy family once more. She took me to college, she even said “I love you!” to me and looked for that “I love you too”. As soon as she got it, she drove away. It was a great morning.

When I got home, everything changed for me. My mother had decided not to let her disease win and so, she did what the disease had been trying to do to her.

She killed herself.

A diabetes patient for many years, it was the injections that she used to induce an overdose.

But it wasn’t diabetes that killed her. It was lung cancer.

She had fought it for two and a half years but it wouldn’t leave her alone. Her breathing had really deteriorated and on bad days, every single breath was a fight.

It still makes me cry when I think about how much pain a superwoman like my mum must have suffered to take her own life. Today, seven years later, the pain of not having her with me still hurts like hell. But I do feel that her death taught me some extremely important lessons about life.

Buying a grave for your loved ones is something you won’t ever regret

I know how expensive grave and headstone prices can be today but to be able to visit your loved one and talk to them really helps you manage your grief.

Love is the most important thing we have

I used to hate myself for not being able to do more for my mother and I was angry at her too – for dying. What got me through those days was the love that I had for my mum and the beautiful moments we shared.

How short and impermanent everything is

We humans like to plan and scheme. We do it so much that most of us forget to live our lives Too many people spend too much time in boring routines and on their smartphones. Realise how short life is; it’s good to plan things but that doesn’t mean you should stop enjoying life and taking risks.

Today’s guest writer works for https://easternmemorials.com, a gravestone maker and monument company in Manassas.