The Norwegians told police their GPS directed them deep into the Mare slum complex, where they pulled up next to a long-haired, tattooed pedestrian wearing a bandanna and carrying a sub-machinegun, wound down their window and asked: "Bottlo?" Unfortunately, the Norwegian word for bottle shop is Portuguese for: "Are you a girl?"

Killingtveit drove to safety despite being wounded. He told relatives in Norway that there was a fault in the car's GPS, the Norwegian daily Dagbladet reported. GPS units may be evolving into some form of artificial intelligence, scientists warn. While it is too early to say for certain, directing people into dangerous slums could indicate the early stages of a GPS sense of humour. "It's very slapstick and unsophisticated at this stage," an artificial intelligence expert told The Sun-Herald by satellite phone from a slum in Kolkata, where he had ended up after setting out for a Spotlight store at Birkenhead Point.

"Hopefully, they'll quickly move on to a 'post-ironic' stage and think it's funny to send us where we want to go." Australians should be wary if their GPS-directed journey takes considerably longer than expected, the Roads and Traffic Authority has warned.

Other danger signs include: - A trip involving a long sea voyage; - The navigator's voice taking on a villainous South American accent and referring to the driver as "gringo";

- A large proportion of pedestrians playing barefoot soccer with a ball made from scrunched up bits of newspaper and/or beach volleyball while wearing micro bikinis. In the last instance, drivers should phone police immediately as they are likely to be in Rio, or worse, Bondi Beach, where statistics say there is a high probability that their car will be vomited on by a backpacker from Stoke-on-Trent.

Environmentalists have raised fears for the safety of Australian wildlife, as researchers increasingly use transmitters linked to GPS tracking units to keep track of animals. Twelve koalas near Gunnedah were fitted with collars last month. It is feared rogue GPS units could send subliminal messages to the animals, directing koalas into wombat burrows, wombats into the ocean and sharks up gum trees. "Interesting concept," said a spokesman for the Australian Tourism Authority. "I can see the ad campaign now: 'Leave your comfort zone.' I think it's got legs."

Any sharks noticing a distinct lack of seals, surfers or water in their nearby surroundings should call the RSPCA. Londoners are also at risk if GPS units fail on a mass scale, with a recent survey showing that even with the help of GPS navigation, residents of the British capital get lost more than anyone on Earth. Making matters worse for Londoners was the fact that one in three of those surveyed said they deliberately gave lost people the wrong directions.

However, two in three Londoners deliberately give survey takers the wrong answers, a separate survey found, confusing matters considerably. London is followed on the list of "lost cities" by Paris, Bangkok, Hong Kong and Beijing, says Nokia, which conducted the survey of 12,500 people around the world, at great expense, assuming it used its own mobile phones to make the calls. GPS usage is becoming commonplace: more than a quarter of those surveyed said they couldn't find their way without online and mobile navigation tools. Thirteen per cent used a mobile phone as the main way to find their destination.

Despite this, about 93 per cent of those surveyed got lost regularly, Nokia said, which indicates the GPS artificial intelligence crisis could be further advanced than suspected. This leaves GPS users facing a tough decision. People who give up their navigation units in a bid to steer clear of GPS tomfoolery may find that going back to using their brain is impossible.

Research shows that once people get used to using a GPS system in their car they quickly lose the ability to find their own way to the easiest destinations, even those that they have visited countless times in the past, such as the kitchen, living room or bathroom. On the other hand, those who stick with their GPS systems will risk undertaking endless pointless journeys to the four corners of the globe, which may be difficult to explain to people back home and does nothing to help the fight against climate change. Computer technicians are understood to be checking the Prime Minister's GPS this week.

In other news ... Children and teenagers who watch a lot of television, listen to a lot of music, see a lot of movies and have a high exposure to other media are more likely to eat until they're obese, smoke tobacco, take drugs, drink alcohol and indulge in early sexual activity, a US study has found. Jealous parents have demanded a new study to discover how kids find the time.