ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A North Betootanese father-of-four revealed to The Advocate today from the deck of his Daroo St Queenslander that he’s planning on eating a steak and other non-Halal meats tomorrow regardless of what anybody thinks.

Glenn Martin has already told seven unrelated people today that he’s going to eat red meat and he ‘doesn’t give a shit’ that some ancient con artist magic man died this week 2018 years ago.

“I don’t give a fuck,” he said.

“I’m eating meat today because I feel like it,” said the 58-year-old as his teenage children cringed inside.

“All this meat you can see is not Halal, either. All the Easter eggs I got are also not Halal. They don’t even celebrate Easter because Halal is for Moslems [sic]. Why do they make Halal Easter eggs? Riddle me that.”

Mr Martin then barked at his wife to fetch him another full-carb tin of lager and quietly chuckled to himself as our reporter let himself out.

More coming.