Meet the man who says men shouldn’t date British women because they’re overweight and masculine

Meet the man who says men shouldn’t date British women because they’re overweight and masculine

When Richard La Ruina’s publicist asked if I wanted to interview him, I had no idea who she was talking about.

But it’s August and not much else seems to be going on, so I had a cursory Google.

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Richard has made something of a name for himself by advising men on how they can date. Or rather, helping men to find the types of partner they want. The crux of his advice? That men should date Eastern European women.

I try to make a habit of ignoring men who say unpleasant things about women in order to get attention. But, in spite of myself, having read the things he had said about British women, I said yes.




I asked Richard why he thinks Eastern European women are better than British ones.

In a surprisingly monotonous voice, he told Metro.co.uk:

‘In my travels I’ve been to over 60 countries and I’ve found that the most feminine, most beautiful and most well behaved women, the women with all of the qualities that men look for in a woman, are found in the highest abundance in Eastern Europe and Russia.’

Trying very hard to hold on to my manners, I ask Richard what he means by ‘well behaved.’

‘It’s like, not shouting in public or getting drunk and falling over or swearing, you know. This kind of stuff is not really at all acceptable [in Eastern Europe].

‘It’s quite common that a 22 year old girl in Russian hasn’t tried ever being super drunk, hasn’t ever tried drugs or had a one night stand. They’re better behaved in a traditional sense. A lot of guys would prefer that.’

(Picture: Richard La Ruina)

Are men bothered that I say ‘f**k when I drop my phone? Does my husband secretly wish that I’d never had more than half a glass of Prosecco on special occasion? Making a mental note to ask him later, I questioned Richard about why he thinks men want to date women who haven’t had many of the experiences which adulthood entitles you to.

‘I think that guys have masculinity and they’re drawn to feminine women’ he tells me.

I want to ask whether wearing a polka dot dress while getting pissed would offset the infraction against femininity, but I don’t.

What do British women get wrong, I ask Richard, excited to hear about how I’ve failed as a woman.

‘A lot of women are overweight. The dress has become more masculine over time. It’s rare to see women in high heels and looking feminine. Walking nicely, behaving in an elegant and feminine way. Men are always going to be attracted to those inherent qualities, the things that define elegance and femininity.’

‘If I’m with a lady on a date and she tells me she got wasted the night before or she had a one night stand or if I’m out with her and she gets rowdy when drunk, that’s not good. She should be controlled. Everyone would want that in their partners or their daughters.’



To continue the conversation politely, I don’t question the logic of placing ‘partner’ and ‘daughter’ in the same category.

Tentatively I explore why Richard thinks men should eschew British women and their good time mentality, up sticks and go to Russia to find a date.

‘The economics of dating are skewed in women’s favour’ he explains. ‘There are a lot of guys who are cool and in shape and intelligent with good jobs, so there’s an abundance of guys, especially in London.’

Richard with Paris Hilton. Or possibly a statue of Paris Hilton. We’re not fully sure. (Picture: Richard La Ruina.

‘It’s a good place to be a single woman, better than a single man. Not every city is equal. In London there’s over 100,000 millionaires, so if you’re looking for a successful guy it’s a good place to be. But in some northern city with high unemployment it will be be different.’

Do women want to hunt millionaires?

‘I think given the choice a woman would like to be with a guy who is more successful than they are. It’s hard to date below their level.’

Have any studies had illustrated this? No, he told me. ‘That’s just an opinion based on anecdotal experience, dating in the UK.’

Confused by his assertion that there is a higher caliber of man in the UK than women I asked Richard what he thought of the fact that 67% of UK men are overweight, compared to 57% of women.

He seemed a little confused by the question, replying: ‘I didn’t say more good men than women. But in the UK if you’re a cool guy, you’d be better in Eastern Europe. If you’re a cool chick you’d be better off in the UK, or Italy, or Serbia.’

Sleepy Richard (Picture: Richard La Ruina)

Through talking to Richard I began to understand why he had a happier time dating ‘well behaved’ women, but I still couldn’t get away from the strangeness of moving abroad specifically to find a partner. Isn’t there something a bit predatory about it?


He told me:

‘I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. You can move to a city for work or for money, and to say your love life is less important is stupid. If you like your life apart from your dating, it makes sense to go where you like the women. There’s nothing strange about it at all.’

But doesn’t it reduce a woman to a commodity, like a job or a house?

‘Not at all’ says Richard. ‘You can have wonderful respect for women and still be wanting to increase your chances as much as possible of meeting the woman of your dreams.’

Which is a nice sentiment, even if it didn’t really answer the question.

‘If you’re meeting just a couple of women a month who meet your criteria, and you can move to a country where you can meet 10 times as many, that just makes sense. You can be the perfect Jesus like human being but that doesn’t mean that you don’t want a better choice in your love life.’

(Picture: Richard La Ruina)

At this point I really can’t help laughing. Isn’t it a bit rich to compare your quest to get laid to Jesus?

‘It’s not about getting laid’, he says, very seriously. ‘You can get laid anywhere. It’s about finding people who are more your type.’

I see.

Women have the option to shop around too, Richard explains:

‘You could find that you like English guys banter so you move to England. You might like French guys because they’re more philosophical You might like the guys in Rio because they’re fun loving and have a don’t care attitude – the opposite of serious Germans.’


Loathe to interrupt Richard’s carnival of stereotyping, I asked him why he was using personality types to define men, when he had used dress and physicality to define women.

‘I think that the statistics bear me out in that women are less interested in looks than men are’ he retorts.

Does he think then, that looks are the place to start for a relationship?

‘It’s hard for a man to put aside the looks issue. It’s hard for him to say a woman is perfect if she’s not attractive enough. A man needs to feel attracted to have sex, it’s much more visual than emotional. That’s Biology. You can fight it, but its nice to have someone around who you find attractive. You don’t want to compromise. It should be possible to find the full ticket who is also beautiful.’

Why is it, I wondered, that men are turned off by behaviours that they themselves find perfectly acceptable? Why do drinking and swearing belong to one gender and not the other?

‘Most guys are attracted to femininity, just like most women are attracted to masculinity’ he says.

And men are turned off by women who act like men?

‘Absolutely’ he replies.

Is that because these men know that their behaviour is poor?

‘No’ claims Richard. ‘It’s because they’re acting in a masculine way.’

But does that not suggest they’re bad characteristics in the first place? I press.

Richard and some very tall women. (Picture: Richard la Ruiana)

Richard disagrees. ‘No. Men and women should be very different.’

You take a very hetero-normative stance here, I find myself saying.

‘I’m not talking about gay – LGBT’ he fires back. ‘But that’s under 10%. I’m not talking about the British women who are fantastic, I’m not talking about the Russian women who are terrible.’

I see. Changing tact, I ask Richard if he thinks his view are sexist.

He pauses for a while.

‘It’s not sexist’ he replies eventually. ‘I mean, it’s something where there are all these lovely eastern Europe women who want to meet nice guys, there are all these great men in the UK who are struggling and they see that they have a lot to offer but aren’t getting anywhere and they would be happier for it and the women would be happier for it.’

If these men are so great, why is it that us British women are flinging them aside?

Richard says it’s because they don’t have the ‘cool factor.’

‘Logically they’re great,’ he goes on. ‘But women don’t find them attractive. You’ve got a banker guy who is nice and intelligent, earns good money, nice guy. He’s too busy to be a playboy or cheat on them, he just wants a stable relationship.

‘Women are attracted to the men who are a little bit dangerous, so he doesn’t get many dates, or his dates don’t want to see him again and say they just want to be friends. Women in the UK can afford to be more demanding.’

‘So in Russia as an example, where more traditional values are in play, the guys who are stable and secure and good guys are a catch, but the starving artist is not. It’s a difference.’

Might that have have something to do with the fact that Russia has a massive gender imbalance – 86.4 men for every 100 women, due to an extremely high mortality rate in young men?

Richard in what we can only assume is 2008. (Picture: Richard La Ruina)

He tells me: ‘It definitely skews things. I think the same is true with the black population of America, because so many of the guys are in prison, it just creates an imbalance . A lot of the guys date white women, less women will date white men, so there are so many single black women because of that. In the same way there’s a lack of quality guys for women in Russia so they’re happy to meet nice men.’

An extensive search following our discussion has yielded no evidence to support this theory.

I don’t know exactly what to say in response to it, so after a little pause to collect myself, I ask him if men who can’t get a girlfriend in the UK should just lower their standards.

You’ll be shocked to hear that the answer was basically no.

‘I think settling is not a good recipe for a happy relationship. I would never suggest it. We did have customers who had unrealistic expectations of dating the absolute best ladies. But when you take a global view of things, maybe the guys isn’t so bad.’

Lastly, because I can’t help myself, I ask Richard if he would identify as a feminist.

He says no.

Even though feminism is defined as the expectation of equality, I ask.

‘Does it?’ he seems surprised. ‘It depends how you want define it. These days, feminism, I don’t know…’ he trails off.

You can Google it, I say. It literally means equality. I can hear tapping in the background and it seems that he has taken me at my suggestion. After a moment, he says:

‘They should be equal, yes. But it doesn’t mean they should be treated the same, or filling the same roles.’

What about people who don’t believe in gender or ascribe themselves to a gender I ask, largely for fun at this point.

‘They’re welcome to do that’ says Richard, who sounds like he’s had enough.

And how should they be treated, I ask him.

He sighs. ‘Fairly?’ he replied.

I’m surprised to hear the that the concept of ‘fair’ was something Richard was concerned about.

It’s fair to say just as I’d never heard of him before, I was quite happy with never hearing of him ever again.

To read more about Richard you can visit his website here.

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