• That if it does warm anything else, that it won’t warm the land or the oceans.

• That if it does warm the oceans, that the melting point of arctic and antarctic ice changes so that they don’t melt.

• That if they do melt, that it doesn’t raise the sea levels.

• That if it does raise the sea levels, that the water stays mounded up in the middle and doesn’t threaten any coastlines.

• That if the water gets warmer, that it doesn’t kill coral, or if it does, that nobody tells us or shows us pictures.

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• That warmer water not strengthen hurricanes.

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• That if they are strengthened, that they head out to the mounded-up sea mountains, or find a way to bring the coral back to life.

• That warmer air not dry out places on land.

• That if it does dry out places on land, that they don’t catch on fire so much.

• That warmer air not cause so many extra tornadoes.

• That if there are extra tornadoes, that they go to blue states only.

• That warmer air not carry more moisture and dump it in flood-inducing torrents.

• That if there are floods, they drain quietly to the dry places and put out the fires.

• That species, ecosystems, agriculture, nations and tides of refugees all turn out to be fine and not a problem or cost to U.S. taxpayers.