Europeans have reacted with shock in recent weeks at the revelations that we are being constantly spied upon in the course of our everyday lives. However, the real shock was not just due to the extent of this surveillance, but the fact that we may be being spied upon by one of our closest friends and allies. The "special relationship" with the US has turned out to be not so special after all. The NSA seems to have acted as if the US doesn't have any real allies; the irony is that this risks becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

But while Europeans have reacted with anger and indignation, to a large extent we only have ourselves to blame. For, while European leaders have been extolling the virtues of the special relationship and approaching relations with the US like a starry-eyed, lovestruck teenager, the US government appears to have been pragmatically pursuing its own interests.

Moreover, despite the recent diplomatic fallout over the latest allegations of spying on EU institutions and governments, the real scandal is that millions of ordinary people in Europe have also been subjected to years of systematic surveillance. The truth is that for too long, the EU and its member states have been prioritising cosy relations with the US over the interests of their own citizens. The spying scandal will now put Europe to the test. It must show that it is both willing and able to protect the rights of European citizens and uphold its core principles. In order to do this, the EU must grow up, shape up and become a mature political actor.

First of all, the EU must demand full clarification from the US government over the extent of these allegations. This should not take place behind closed doors, but at the highest political level and in full public view. Back in 2010, the US vice-president, Joe Biden, came to the European parliament and asked MEPs to support agreements allowing for the transfer of bank data to the US for counter-terrorism purposes. At the time, he stressed that America's commitment to privacy is "as profound as yours". In light of the latest revelations, we are in need of new answers.

A one-on-one session between President Obama and Angela Merkel is not sufficient. The European parliament should now invite the US president to address this matter to allow proper public scrutiny. It should also set up a parliamentary committee of inquiry, as we did in 2001 for a similar spying programme called Echelon which was officially denied at the time by the US authorities. At the same time, the new cybersecurity unit of Europol should investigate the possibility of espionage by a foreign power. The conclusions of these investigations should then feed in to a new European security strategy – updated for the modern era.

A strong message must be sent to the US government that secret snooping on EU citizens will not be tolerated. Current agreements on the exchange of passenger data (PNR) and bank data (Swift) should be suspended or terminated, and talks over a transatlantic data protection agreement should be put on hold until we get clarity over this scandal.

The EU-US Safe Harbour system, which allows US companies to handle and transfer the personal data of European citizens, should be temporarily revoked. Finally, EU institutions have systematically complied with US requests and refused to provide access to documents, such as those evaluating the Swift agreement, on the grounds that this might "harm transatlantic relations". The practice of the US effectively having a veto on EU transparency rules is neither credible nor acceptable and must be brought to an end.

At the same time, no final agreement on a transatlantic trade and investment agreement between the EU and US – which will see negotiations launched this week – should be signed until this issue has been satisfactorily resolved. There must be full transparency over the talks and the issue of the transfer of personal data should be emphatically excluded from the scope of the agreement. The basic rights of EU citizens should not be sacrificed in the name of economic growth.

Furthermore, the so-called "anti-Fisa" clause must be re-inserted into the current reform of the EU's data protection rules. This clause would have created safeguards enabling surveillance by foreign law enforcement bodies to be blocked, but was shamefully removed from the original proposal by the European commission at the behest of the US government. The EC must also take steps to end the extraterritorial application of US law in Europe and ensure that EU data protection rules take precedence.

Finally, the European council and commission should at long last conduct the in-depth evaluation of EU counter-terrorism policies requested by the European parliament back in 2011. This should include acknowledging the existence of the EU intelligence agency Intcen, and embedding it in a proper institutional framework with the necessary safeguards and scrutiny.

Ultimately, it is in everybody's interest to make the "special relationship" more equal and healthy. A stronger Europe will be both a better partner for the US and a better guarantor of EU citizens' rights. The EU must now translate its words into actions, and take the necessary steps to ensure that the transatlantic alliance is not threatened by such scandals in future.