Just a few days ago I met up with a friend of mine at a bar. We’ve both been in relationships for a long time (3+ years) and we were having one of those typical conversations among men, the kind where you’re trying to figure out if your heart is frozen because you’re living with a banshee or whether because it’s just because it never stops raining outside. Disclaimer: I’m not living with a banshee, I love you, babe, please don’t kill me. So why Disney Is Every Guy’s Nightmare?

Eventually, the topic shifted to engagement. See, someone close to me is getting engaged soon and for some reason, every woman within a 3-kilometer radius felt their ovaries tingle and had to start thinking about when their wedding would take place. When you’ve been in a relationship for more than a year or so, for some reason girls expect you to start asking the question sometime soon. It’s a well-documented and scientific phenomenon. Don’t believe me? Look it up, nerd.

About 4 beers and a few tequila shots later, something hit me harder than the realization that your father is never coming back. My god, I thought, it’s fucking Disney’s fault. “Bullshit”, my equally drunk compatriot said. “what does Mickey Mouse have to do with popping the question?”. At the time I started ranting the way people do when they’re only one drink away from spilling that night’s kebab. But now I’ve sobered up and ready to go down the rabbit hole.

Unrealistic Expectations:

There’s a reasonable argument to be made here. Almost every single Disney film features a hapless young girl setting her eyes on a dreamy prince. They’ll be living their lives when one day, they lock eyes and their ‘wedding-o-vision’ turns to full throttle. Disney movies were made at a time when dating was practically non-existent. The movies were made at a time when you’d have to get married out of necessity. The first Disney movie, Snow White, and the Seven Dwarfs came out in 1937. At the time, the United States was still coming out of the Great Depression. The American Family at the time was what was most important, and the movies reflected that mindset. A story about a young girl being saved by and falling in love with the first guy she met wasn’t unusual.

So I was born because of a movie?

No, Jason, you’re adopted

But comparing this to modern times reveals that the narrative is completely different. Falling in love and marrying the first guy you meet lands you into an episode of Sixteen and Pregnant. Glamorizing fairy tales and telling every girl from a young age that one day they will find their prince charming, Disney made it that much harder for modern guys to just enjoy their relationships without rings. So why Disney Is Every Guy’s Nightmare?

Because even Kim-Jong Un isn’t safe from Disney’s Grasp

It is not that being married is a bad thing. On the contrary, it is a beautiful bond between two loving partners. We all aim to get married one day. My problem is just that it should not start at such an early point in a relationship. Disney might have had something to do with it, but truthfully, it is probably more because yes, guys are afraid of commitment, and yes, we’d have to grow up and start taking on real responsibilities but please: give us our own time. Disney isn not entirely to blame. It might just be guys just goofing around. It might just be that we are not emotionally or financially ready to take such a huge step in the relationship.