This Wednesday (March 20) The CW’s Riverdale celebrates its second musical episode, “Chapter Fifty-One: BIG FUN” which adapts “Heathers the Musical” for the denizens of The Town With Pep. And for sure, it’s a special occasion… Except for one thing: the cast sings all the damn time.

Though Riverdale isn’t technically a musical TV show like, say, Glee or SMASH, over the course of fifty episodes the cast has performed at least forty-five musical numbers (some of which didn’t make it to air). That doesn’t include non-diegetic music or the score itself. It also takes into account the ten musical numbers performed during last year’s “Chapter Thirty-One: A Night To Remember” which pulled songs from “Carrie: The Musical” and weaved them with the ongoing plot.

Those caveats aside, with another nine musical numbers about to hit your ears, it’s time to do what the internet does best… Rank all of them. I spent the past several days sifting back through every song that’s been performed by the cast, both the in-show versions and those released on Spotify/iTunes/etc. Having now listened to more Josie and the Pussycats than can be considered healthy in such a short period of time, I think I’m prepared to propose which is best, which is worst, and the good chunk that are just “there” in the middle.

So how did I rank them? True to Riverdale form, I decided it sort of doesn’t matter. Or rather, everything matters, but in different measures. Some songs are great on their on. Some work better in the show, or in context of the plot. And some are just great all-around numbers. On that last note it’s important to remember that these are professionally produced and performed songs, so even the lowest one is still totally fine. There’s nothing particularly bad on this list.

If you want to listen to them in order, I put together a Spotify playlist (of what was available). Otherwise, read on:

45 "Mad World" Season 2, Episode 8 - "Chapter Twenty-One: House of the Devil" Originally By: Gary Jules Performed By: Archie (KJ Apa), Veronica (Camila Mendes), Betty (Lili Reinhart) Let’s get this one out of the way, shall we? The cover of Jules’ “Mad World” is fine. It’s a little bland and disjointed since it’s sung by three people. The reason this is at the bottom of the list, though, is because of what happened in the show, making this the most notorious musical number in Riverdale history. First, Archie and Veronica perform that song from Donnie Darko at a gang gathering. Then when Veronica runs out, they get booed — so Betty takes the opportunity to go up and start singing. She also takes the opportunity to do the “Serpent dance,” a ritual where new initiates into the Southside Serpents do a striptease in order to gain access to the gang. It’s something that, by the way, has never been enforced or referred to since. Betty performs the striptease in front of her boyfriend Jughead (Cole Sprouse). And his Dad, FP (Skeet Ulrich). And her Mom, Alice (Mädchen Amick). Nobody stops her. In fact, she finishes the number, and FP claps for her. Also at one point she just starts dancing and stops singing, but the singing continues. Again, the number itself is fine. But in the history of Riverdale, this is one of the most jaw-droppingly weird moments, and it just does not work.

44 "Eres Tú" Season 3, Episode 10 - "Chapter Forty-Five: The Stranger" Originally By: Juan Carlos Calderón Performed By: Veronica This one is also down to context, and perhaps if I had more of a personal connection to the song I’d get it better. But in order to welcome Archie back to town after nearly getting killed by a bear (really), Veronica sings this popular Spanish song (and mind you, her singing voice is fine). She also only gets about fifteen seconds into it before Archie leaves. It feels like something more appropriate to a wedding than a welcome home party, and feels particularly out of place for both Veronica and Riverdale.

43 "These Are The Moments I Remember" Season 1, Episode 13 - "Chapter Thirteen: The Sweet Hereafter" Originally By: n/a Performed By: Archie, Josie and the Pussycats The show has gotten away from creating original songs since Archie took up bare-knuckle boxing and the Pussycats broke up; but at least in Season 1 this was a major facet of the show. Josie and the Pussycats get a little more of a pop sensibility, but the songs written by Archie are purposefully (?) bland and a little folksy. This one is nice because Josie (Ashleigh Murray) and Archie have two of the best blends of voices on the show but the music and lyrics are very slow and repetitive. Fine for an actual high school, less interesting to listen to more than once.

42 "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" Season 2 Episode 9 - "Chapter Twenty-Two: Silent Night, Deadly Night" Originally By: Traditional Performed By: Josie, Kevin (Casey Cott) You know what this is. Murray and Cott both have strong voices, but this isn’t the jam of the Summer or anything.

41 "Our Fair Riverdale" Season 1, Episode 11 - "Chapter Eleven: To Riverdale and Back Again" Originally By: n/a Performed By: Josie and the Pussycats Similar to “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” this song does a good job aping a small town’s theme song, and the Pussycats are fine on the harmony; but I don’t think anyone will be adding this to a playlist anytime soon. Except for me, who added this to the playlist I linked above.

40 "Stay Here Instead" "Chapter Thirty-One: A Night To Remember" Originally By: Michael Gore & Dean Pitchford Performed By: Alice, Midge (Emilija Baranac) Something from the “Carrie: The Musical” episode has to be on the bottom, and this purposefully off-kilter song between Carrie and her Mom is it. Ignore that Alice is an adult performing in the high school musical, because Amick’s singing voice is surprisingly strong and emotional. Baranac is also good, but the song itself is a middle song in the musical meant to bridge between the stand-out numbers. That said, Alice breaking from the musical to sing directly to her daughter, Betty, is a nice emotional beat in the episode.

39 "Another Hundred People" Season 3, Episode 3 - "Chapter Thirty-Eight: As Above, So Below" Originally By: Stephen Sondheim Performed By: Josie I feel physically uncomfortable ranking a Sondheim number so low on this list, but the cover is one of the lesser numbers performed by Josie at Season 3’s night club La Bonne Nuit. This was never actually aired — only dropped on the internet — so maybe that’s why? Sorry, Steve.

38 "I'll Try" Season 1, Episode 6 - "Chapter Six: Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill! Originally By: n/a Performed By: Archie Very folksy “original” song by Archie with lyrics that are perfectly in keeping with a high school student trying to sound deep. It’s every song played by every dude alone with a girl in a dorm room who pulled out his guitar and said “hey can I play something for you?”

37 "Fear Nothing" Season 1, Episode 1 - "Chapter One: The River's Edge" Originally By: n/a Performed By: Josie and the Pussycats Similar to Archie’s generic folk song, this original was supposed to show us why Josie and the Pussycats are the number one musical act in Riverdale, but it comes off as generic pop. There are much better numbers by the group. Fine for the pilot, but since they’ve shown off their chops to much better effect.

36 "Kids in America" Season 1, Episode 11 - "Chapter Eleven: To Riverdale and Back Again" Originally By: Kim Wilde Performed By: Archie, Veronica Easily the most Glee-style number Riverdale has ever done, this cover of “Kids in America” comes off as more Kidz Bop than punk rock.

35 "All Through The Night" Season 1, Episode 1 - "Chapter One: The River's Edge" Originally By: Cyndi Lauper Performed By: Josie and the Pussycats It hurts me to say, but… This just isn’t a good arrangement of “All Through The Night.” The performers are fine, but Lauper’s original is simple, clean pop with synth notes broken by pop belting. This mushes the notes and the vocals, and it feels like Murray in particular is fighting through it the entire time. It was the first episode, and it almost makes me wish they’d tackle it again now that the production has a better idea of what they’re doing. It’s just trying too hard to be different.

34 "The World According To Chris (Reprise)" Season 2, Episode 18 - "Chapter Thirty-One: A Night To Remember" Originally By: Michael Gore & Dean Pitchford Performed By: Camila Mendes This is a 37 second reprise of an earlier song. Mendes’ voice is good for Broadway style songs, but there’s not much here.

33 "Cabaret" Season 3, Episode 9 - "Chapter Forty-Four: No Exit" Originally By: Kander & Ebb Performed By: Josie I love me some “Cabaret,” and this is a fun cover of the title track. Murray’s voice is great, and the horns are fun. In the show it’s not given a lot of time, and it’s missing a bit of the subtext the other “Cabaret” cover on this list captures. But it’s good! Not great, but good.

32 "The World According To Chris" Season 2, Episode 18 - "Chapter Thirty-One: A Night To Remember" Originally By: Michael Gore & Dean Pitchford Performed By: Veronica, Toni (Vanessa Morgan), Ethel (Shannon Purser), Betty Mendes is easily the most Broadway/theater sounding voice in the cast, so everything she gets to do in “A Night To Remember” is fun, and this number is no exception. Even if you’re not watching her perform, you can picture the crisp arm thrusts and dance moves. It’s enjoyable, and the performance builds nicely.

31 "Out Tonight" Season 2, Episode 5 - "Chapter Eighteen: When A Stranger Calls" Originally By: Jonathan Larson Performed By: Josie and the Pussycats “RENT” and Riverdale are kind of a match made in heaven, and Murray’s vocals are the perfect blend of theater and rock for the song. Full disclosure: I’m not the biggest fan of “RENT” but this does a good job of capturing what makes this number fun. Bonus: Josie gets to say “meow” in the song.

30 "I Feel Love" Season 1, Episode 6 - "Chapter Six: Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill! Originally By: Donna Summer Performed By: Josie and the Pussycats Just a solid cover of Summer’s classic disco tune! That’s it!

29 "Dance Dance Dance" Season 1, Episode 2 - "Chapter Two: A Touch of Evil" Originally By: n/a Performed By: Archie The lyrics to this song, “come on let’s turn the radio on, and dance, dance dance” sound like Archie heard a bunch of songs at the same time and wrote them all down. But! Contextually, it’s the first time he’s played his songs for his friends, and Betty — who at the time was harboring a crush on him — ran away halfway through the song. Even if the tune itself is dinky, it does lead to an important moment in the canon.

28 "Unsuspecting Hearts" Season 2, Episode 18 - "Chapter Thirty-One: A Night To Remember" Originally By: Lawrence D. Cohan Performed By: Cheryl (Madelaine Petsch), Josie Cheryl and Josie is one of the best combinations on the show, in terms of singing; Petsch and Murray’s voices just work well together. For this torch song, though, they compete as Cheryl tries to prove she’s more worthy of the spotlight than Josie. The song is classic Broadway, with soaring melodies and criss-crossing lyrics. Petsch and Murray chew the hell out of the song, and though it’s still a minor song in the first musical episode, it’s a delight to listen to.

27 "All For Me" Season 1, Episode 3 - "Chapter Three: Body Double" Originally By: n/a Performed By: Josie and the Pussycats A lesser entry in the Pussycats canon, this original has Murray’s always excellent vocals, but the lyrics are vague at best.

26 "We Don't Need Another Hero" Season 3, Episode 13 - "Chapter Forty-Eight: Requiem for a Welterweight" Originally By: Tina Turner Performed By: Josie This should be a slam-dunk, but it doesn’t quite reach the heights of Turner’s original. Not that anyone can match Turner’s vocals, but Murray comes off a little wispier in comparison. That said, having this cover underscore Archie fighting for his life in a totally unnecessary boxing match complete with Josie entering to cheer him on while she continues to sing in the background makes for a fun moment in the show; even if the cover itself lacks a little something.

25 "Evening Prayers" Season 2, Episode 18 - "Chapter Thirty-One: A Night To Remember" Originally By: Lawrence D. Cohan Performed By: Alice Amick has the perfect voice for the broken mother of Carrie White. This song comes off as intended… A little off-kilter, a little terrifying, and Amick’s wistful voice works perfectly for it. Not the best song in the musical, but definitely worth listening to. Too bad it was interrupted by the *spoiler* death of Midge.

24 "Sufferin' Till Suffrage" Season 2, Episode 16 - "Chapter Twenty-Nine: Primary Colors" Originally By: Schoolhouse Rock! Performed By: Veronica, Josie, Valerie (Hayley Law) Schoolhouse Rock! is another perfect fit with Riverdale, and this cover featuring three of the show’s leading ladies is delightfully jazzy.

23 "Union of the Snake" Season 2, Episode 11 - "Chapter Twenty-Four: The Wrestler" Originally By: Duran Duran Performed By: Veronica and the Pussycats This one is super on the nose, and that’s what makes it fun — despite Mendes’ voice not being immediately a good fit for a Duran Duran tune. Not only has Veronica essentially stolen the Pussycats from Josie, but the town is dealing with some serious drama involving gang the Southside Serpents. So yeah, an okay cover, but a fun addition to the show at the same time.

22 "You Shine" Season 2, Episode 18 - "Chapter Thirty-One: A Night To Remember" Originally By: Michael Gore & Dean Pitchford Performed By: Archie, Veronica, Betty A sweet romantic song in the middle of the absolute terror of “Carrie: The Musical.” It works nicely, and it’s fun to hear the main trio singing together.

21 "You'll Never Walk Alone" Season 2, Episode 19 - "Chapter Thirty-Two: Prisoners" Originally By: Rodgers & Hammerstein Performed By: Cheryl Listen: “Carousel” is one of my favorite musicals ever, so I was always predisposed to like this cover. But getting to hear Petsch sing the song darkly and clearly at Midge’s funeral, as the River Vixens — the Riverdale High cheer squad — are dressed in all black cheerleading uniforms is so winkingly grim it elevates this to greatness.

20 "Jailhouse Rock" Season 3, Episode 2 - "Chapter Thirty-Seven: Fortune and Men's Eyes" Originally By: Elvis Presley Performed By: The River Vixens This number was routinely mocked when it happened in the show, and for good reason. In order to cheer up Archie — who has been sent to jail for a murder he didn’t commit — Veronica gets the River Vixens to plop a jukebox outside the juvenile detention facility, and they proceed to perform “Jailhouse Rock” with full choreography while the prisoners cheer and then play a friendly touch football game. This, of course, is followed by a prison riot. How did they manage to get right outside the jail to perform? When did they rehearse the number? Nobody knows! …But here’s the thing, it’s, uh, actually kind of good? Murray, Petsch and Mendes are the main voices beyond the cover, and they eat it up. The tune is fun, the performances are cheeky. It’s a good performance! Does it make any sense in the show? Nope. But will I listen to it a bunch more times? Let’s rock.

19 "Spooky" Season 2, Episode 7 - "Chapter Twenty: Tales From The Darkside" Originally By: Chris Montez Performed By: Josie A nice, sultry cover by Josie.

18 "I Got You" Season 1, Episode 6 - "Chapter Six: Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill! Originally By: n/a Performed By: Archie, Valerie Another pretty basic Archie “original” but here we get the short-lived couple of Archie and Valerie singing together, which is sweet. The lyrics are still pretty rote, but the tune is a little more upbeat than most of Mr. Andrews’s songs.

17 "The Song That Everyone Sings" Season 1, Episode 1 - "Chapter One: The River's Edge" Originally By: n/a Performed By: Archie The highest rated Archie song on this list, and also one of the first. Apa’s voice sounds good here, and it’s still folk-lite, but the song builds nicely and if it was playing the background of a dive bar I would not hate it.

16 "Carrie" Season 2, Episode 18 - "Chapter Thirty-One: A Night To Remember" Originally By: Michael Gore & Dean Pitchford Performed By: Cheryl Is there any more Cheryl Blossom song than her chastising everyone for not getting her name correct? In the episode, Cheryl sings the song completely unprompted to prove she deserves the main role in the show. It’s great.

15 "In" Season 2, Episode 18 - "Chapter Thirty-One: A Night To Remember" Originally By: Michael Gore & Dean Pitchford Performed By: Cast The opening song in the “Carrie: The Musical” episode, it sets the tone perfectly, introducing the full cast of Riverdale as they practice a song from the musical they’re about to perform in, as well as the way the show will bridge “real” life and the singing. The song is also pretty great, with solid moments for everyone in the main cast including Archie doing shirtless push-ups over his script.

14 "Bitter Sweet Symphony" Season 2, Episode 12 - "Chapter Twenty-Five: The Wicked and the Divine" Originally By: The Verve Performed By: Veronica, Josie Of course Veronica and Josie would sing “Bitter Sweet Symphony” during the former’s confirmation ceremony, because why not? It’s inexplicable, but at the same time the haunting tune perfectly underscores a fraught ceremony attended by multiple mob bosses and suffused with danger.

13 "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" Season 3, Episode 14 - "Chapter Forty-Nine: Fire Walk with Me" Originally By: Nina Simone/The Animals Performed By: Gladys (Gina Gershon) It’s insane that the point of Gladys Jones singing this punked up version of the Nina Simone standard was so a bunch of dudes in the audience could heckle her for sucking because… It’s very good? Gladys quips earlier in the episode that she was a bit of a Joan Jett in her time, and that’s exactly what Gershon crushes here. Ignore Hiram Lodge (Mark Consuelos) and his buddy, Gladys did a good job.

12 "Do Me A Favor" Season 2, Episode 18 - "Chapter Thirty-One: A Night To Remember" Originally By: Michael Gore & Dean Pitchford Performed By: Archie, Veronica, Betty, Chuck (Jordan Calloway) This quartet, where two couples make plans about Carrie White with opposing goals, is a lot of fun. It shows off Reinhart’s clean vocals in particular, and is one of the better songs in the show.

11 "Dream Warriors" Season 3, Episode 4 - "Chapter Thirty-Nine: The Midnight Club" Originally By: Lawrence D. Cohan Performed By: Teen Fred (KJ Apa), Teen Sierra (Ashleigh Murray), Teen Hermione (Camila Mendes), Teen Alice (Lili Reinhart) This song itself is pure ’80s cheese; but that’s perfect for the show’s flashback episode, which found the “teen” cast playing younger versions of their parents. While hanging out at school in fantasy costumes, they jammed to this tune from Nightmare on Elm Street 3, and it’s pretty much perfect down to Madelaine Petsch’s supremely dorky dancing as Teen Penelope Blossom.

10 "Sooner of Later" Season 3, Episode 11 - "Chapter Forty-Six: The Red Dahlia" Originally By: Madonna Performed By: Josie Okay, this makes me feel much better about the Sondheim slight earlier on. While some of the other tunes Josie has sung at La Bonne Nuit were out of place, this one is perfect. During the show’s noir tribute episode, Josie covered this Madonna classic written by Sondheim for Dick Tracy. It’s sultry, dark, and later in the episode she ends up shooting some sparks at Archie. Sooner or later I always get my man, indeed.

9 "People Like Us" Season 3, Episode 12 - "Chapter Forty-Seven: Bizarrodale" Originally By: Andrew Lippa Performed By: Archie, Josie I mentioned this before, but Apa and Murray’s voices are great together; yet it wasn’t until this episode, and this song that the characters actually hooked up. After a short, sweet flirtation they jammed together on this hopeful tune about finding your place. Both characters were lost — Archie after a traumatic series of events, Josie after multiple career setbacks — and found each other in each other’s arms. The song is great, the circumstances make it greater.

8 "A Night We'll Never Forget" Season 2, Episode 18 - "Chapter Thirty-One: A Night To Remember" Originally By: Michael Gore & Dean Pitchford Performed By: Cast Since the final number of “Carrie: The Musical” ends with Midge impaled on the back of the stage, the episode itself smartly builds to this banger which brings the whole cast together for a cheeky number that also tees up prom night in the show. It’s a ton of fun, with a catchy tune and clever lyrics. Oh, and in retrospect, the “a night we’ll never forget” comes off more as a threat than a promise, just like in the show itself.

7 "Call Your Girlfriend" Season 3, Episode 15 - "Chapter Fifty: American Dreams" Originally By: Robyn Performed By: Veronica, Toni Woof, there’s so much going on in this killer cover of Robyn’s breakup anthem. There’s the show context, as Cheryl heads to La Bonne Nuit expecting to see her girlfriend Toni working hard after multiple fights… Only to discover she’s dancing on stage with Veronica to a song about how you should break up with your girlfriend. For any fan of the couple, it’s like getting stabbed in the gut. Then there’s the tease towards the internet, which likes to call Veronica Lodge a “bisexual icon,” despite any evidence of this in the show. If you want some evidence, though, I guess dancing on stage with the show’s most prominent bisexual, Toni, hugging her and singing about how she should tell her girlfriend she find someone new might help fuel that. But the biggest plus here are Morgan’s vocals, which are the most pop-ready on the show. Morgan doesn’t get to sing nearly enough on the series, and it’s honestly kind of shocking based on this cover alone that she didn’t get her start in a girl group.

6 "Anything Goes" Season 3, Episode 3 - "Chapter Thirty-Eight: As Above, So Below" Originally By: Cole Porter Performed By: Josie Murray’s incredible range helps her nail this standard. If she ever does a showcase at Joe’s Pub in New York, Murray should definitely think about including “Anything Goes.”

5 "You Shine (Reprise)" Originally By: Michael Gore & Dean Pitchford Performed By: Cheryl, Toni Oh, did I put a deleted number in the top ten? Well suck it up, it’s my list, not yours. The reprise of “You Shine” features Toni cheering Cheryl, and as it was coming on the heels of the couple finally coming together, it’s a beautiful duet that brought together everything fans like about the duo. The lyrics, “no doubts, no more fears,” are about Cheryl’s performance in the musical; but they’re also about the new relationship they’re heading into. Put it back in the episode, you cowards.

4 "Astronaut" Season 1, Episode 13 - "Chapter Thirteen: The Sweet Hereafter" Originally By: Transviolet Performed By: Josie and the Pussycats ft. Veronica Another number deleted for time — which given the packed Season one finale, makes sense. That said, it’s an excellent pop song, and what a lot of the “original” Josie and the Pussycats songs seem to be going for. In fact, just to play armchair producer for a moment, using smaller pop hits like “Astronaut” as inspiration for the “originals” on the show seems like a smarter way to go than actually creating songs. Particularly if they can give credit to the artists (Transviolet in this case), it’s a mutually beneficial relationship. That is, if they ever do originals again, instead of starting fight clubs. Maybe when/if the Pussycats reunite on Katy Keene?

3 "Milkshake" Season 2, Episode 2 - "Chapter Fifteen: Nighthawks" Originally By: Kelis Performed By: Josie and the Pussycats ft. Cheryl Nobody tell Kelis I said this, but this cover of “Milkshake” from Season 2 is better than the original. Not only in context, where Josie and the Pussycats, as well as Cheryl, perform the song on the roof of Pop’s Diner (get it? GET IT???), but it’s a perfect mix of coquettish flirting and harmonies. It’s teasing without being aggressive, cute without getting too sexual. In a sense, it’s close to being the perfect Riverdale song.