THE inventor of the internet has apologised because it is such a load of bollocks.

Sir Tim Berners-Lee said: “I really thought this would be a wonderful tool for the advancement of humanity and the free exchange of information.

“Sadly it’s just a load of short video clips of people having minor accidents, and horny little bastards threatening to beat each other up.

“Now nobody’s got any attention span and thinks incredibly perverse sex acts are quite romantic.

“I’m just really, really sorry. If I could, I would turn it off. I have tried.”

Meanwhile researchers at the Institute for Studies confirmed that no worthwhile notion had ever emerged from an internet forum.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “There was one informative comment about climate change on a YouTube thread, but that just turned out to have been cut and pasted from a science book. Perhaps because posting comments on the internet is not worthwhile, there aren’t any clever people doing it.”

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