Javier Bardem is reportedly in final negotiations to take the lead in The Dark Tower, Ron Howard and Akiva Goldsman’s plans to combat potential fan outcry over their adaptation of Stephen King’s fantasy opus by spreading every single detail of all seven books across three movies and a limited-run TV series in between each film. Bardem, of course, has been rumored to take on the role ever since Howard made his official offer back in January, having narrowly edged out other contenders like Viggo Mortensen and, uh, Bull from Night Court, maybe? Really, there were no other contenders, as Howard has been chasing very publicly Bardem since the beginning, perhaps by sending him doodles of Bardem in a cowboy hat and mix CDs comprised of nothing but Engelbert Humperdinck’s “Spanish Eyes.” How could he say no?

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