The tense air in the house continued to thicken like fog. The evening had drowned in the night, and the heavy rain that plagued the earth had softened to a few droplets. The clock ticked with midnight creeping in, and the only lights around the house that gleamed were in the living room and Elsa's room. The faucet in the kitchen dripped against the metal sink, and just outside the window, the melodic dribbles were accompanied by the remaining rain splattering down on the surface. From afar, upstairs, the shower was turned on.

Elsa had quietly crept into Olaf's room on the same floor, hand on the doorknob. She wouldn't stay for long so as not to disturb her son.

Though the surroundings were absent of light, the moon drew plenty of light in the room. Smiling in silence, she gently walked towards his bed hugging the corner of the room to tuck the boy in again with the discarded blanket, placing Marshmallow back in his arms when it fell to the floor. Luckily for the mother, Olaf was sleeping quite heavily.

"Good night, sweetheart," she whispered, fingers threading through his light hair, lips pecking a gentle kiss on his forehead. Olaf hummed softly, his head turning to his mother's soft touch. Her loving smile stretched, and as much as she wished to stay, she stepped out of his room.

Just in time, closing the door, her movement quickly ceased when her eyes met with the opening and the closing of the bathroom door across the hall and the redhead - hair washed and thoroughly dried with a towel - standing right there.

The silence continued to draw out between them, and while they should be okay right now, there was still an awkward presence just sitting there. Elsa was going to make it her mission to keep Anna in the most comfortable place possible. It was hardly an easy task.

They had spent the last few hours in the living room weeping and hugging… and then, silence. Many of the words that Elsa wanted to say to her had been stuck in her throat, and while she recognized that Anna was back in her safe arms, she also recognized that the shadows under those azure eyes were brimmed with heartache and torment. None of them had said a word to each other after that - both not knowing what to say, where to begin… or whether or not they should even be under the same roof together.

They stood in front of each other just a few feet apart, but it seemed like the floors and walls had been stretched for miles. Their expressions were blank, and most of all, Elsa had noticed Anna's eyes had dropped to the floor.

Where should I even begin? "Are you hungry?" she asked.

"No. Thank you."

She has to be hungry… Exhaling a disappointed breath, decidedly, the blonde descended the stairs. She expected her wife to follow her down. "Would you like a drink?"

"Yes."

Her eyebrows crossed sternly as she continued on. At the last step down, she turned to Anna. "One drink, okay?"

Anna's clumsy smile - with a hint of nostalgia and pain - stretched. "Sure."

Heading to the kitchen, knowing that her wife was sitting on the couch, she poured two glasses of stashed-away whiskey for both of them. Right now, this intense feeling of remembrance and comfort was here to stay. She embraced it willingly, and although knowing that the divorce was the only thing keeping them apart, she still wanted to be as close to Anna as possible. Well, as possible as Elsa would be able to allow herself.

For a short moment, Elsa eyed the wavering reflection of the alcohol in deep thought. She hadn't thought about it, but she would dread the next moments with Anna being tipsy. But she was an adult - she had self-control. All she desired was to be beside Anna and be her shoulder to cry on.

Taking a sharp breath in, she grabbed the two glass cups and sat next to Anna. "Here."

Smiling tightly, Anna took the offer, their fingers brushing against one another. "Thanks."

Another dreadful stretch of silence. When will this ever end?

Her cautious eyes watched her wife take a sip - one that was way too big for her liking. Instead of mirroring the act, Elsa placed her full glass on the coffee table. She leaned forward, one hand running through her own hair, elbows placed on the top of her knees. Her eyes were unmoving, observant… but also showing the utmost care and wariness. While Anna hadn't taken a single look at her, deep down, she knew Anna wanted the attention.

"Anna." She touched her wife's leg.

With the same vacant eyes, the redhead turned.

As observant as she was, only now… had Elsa recognized her wife's true beauty. Those turquoise eyes, while filled with heartbreak, had a glint of charming light. Her damp hair was a wonderful mix of copper and a few strands of light blondeness bouncing against the pleasant glare of the light, covering her gaze. The freckles that dotted her thin face were the greatest perfection she had ever seen.

She had called her name… and yet, all she was doing was gawking at Anna's features like a statue. But she caught herself. "Anna, what happened?"

Anna shifted her sight to the coffee table. She simply swayed her head in disagreement. Elsa noticed that her wife would purse her lips when she was thinking… or trying to hold back words. As animated as Elsa remembered Anna being back then, it felt so foreign to realize how quiet Anna had been these past days. And it's all because of me.

Anxiousness soaked the room, and she watched as Anna wrung her fingers together. Immediately, Elsa placed her own hand atop of Anna's. Knowing that there was someone that would listen to her… to be Anna's comfort. And, only then, only when Anna had softened her own grip at the touch, those poignant teal eyes were drawn to Elsa once again.

"I…" a gentle breath sang from Anna's lips, pressing them back together once again. Her eyebrows were pinched together as well. Her eyes began to tear up, but Elsa wasn't about to let her cry just yet.

Her fingers kissed Anna's warm cheek, tracing through loose strands of hair to push back. Her loving eyes, warm and attentive, searched Anna's tired face… and as much as she realized she should smile for her wife, she couldn't. Seeing Anna like this was heartbreaking enough. Knowing that Anna couldn't say a word to her because God knows what was enough to break the blonde. She tried not to blame herself, but moments like this weren't helping her shattered mind.

"Darling, I'm here… you're safe. You can talk to me," she reassured.

The redhead closed her eyes in contemplation."Why did it have to be you?" she started. Her voice - although small - trembled.

Confusion quickly warped into the blonde's head. The slouch of her shoulders displayed nothing but acceptance though. "Anna…"

"She was… perfect all around. She was right," her eyes opened, regret unveiled in her pupils, "I haven't changed. She said so many hurtful things… but she was right. I was a wreck. I was a fool. I gave her nothing while she gave me everything. She was perfect while you… you hurt me. Why did I come back to you?"

Anna had dropped her head, and while she was quiet, Elsa felt wetness dampen the skin of her palm. Everything had ceased to exist, except for both of them… and Elsa had taken in those pained words coming out of her perfect lips. It fucking hurt to see her this way. To see her wife feeling so tortured.

Of course, it even pained her to reply and to listen, but she needed this for the betterment of herself and Anna.

Her thumb gently caught those tears sliding down her cheek in the midst of this grieving stillness. Her other hand came to finger through Anna's hair gently. While her wife had still not gathered the courage to look at her, Elsa took the chance to wrap her arms around the woman's back. Though hesitant, Anna still willingly took her in, and it was enough for her. She could feel Anna.

She sighed, pressing her nose against the crook of Anna's neck, lips whispering against her ear. The sweet scent was almost too nostalgic. "You loved her so much," she began, only to feel an immediately shake of her wife's head.

"No…"

"No?"

"She was right about another thing… I wasn't in love with her."

Perfect. Just perfect. Elsa slowly pulled herself away, her own eyes screwed shut. She sensed Anna's stare, filled with expectations and longing. But deep down, she had accepted the fact that even if Anna was here… touching Elsa with the lightest contact, saying those words so nonchalantly, she was still undeserving of Anna's love. Especially, with alcohol coursing through Anna's veins, Elsa wasn't going to let her wife descend back down to the hell that she had just come back from.

Simply, she shook her head. "I can't do this, Anna. Not now. You've said it before… I'm keeping that promise."

The feeling of Anna's hand on her knee twitching caught her attention. Those teal eyes were unfazed, though, as much as those tears continued to paint down her cheeks. The sight of Anna's quiet weeping just looked absolutely serene and gorgeous. Everything else had been blurred, and her only focus was on her wife. Her broken… broken wife.

"Why did it have to be you?" Anna repeated, gritting her teeth. "You fucked me up… but it was always still you. You fucked up my happiness, you threw baggage after baggage of emotions on me, and in the end, you still slapped me in the face with a man who didn't even love you, you stabbed me over and over again when you realized I was more than good enough for you by the time I was fully in a relationship with her… but it was always still you. Why… did I have to love someone like you? God damn it!" she cried, bottom lip trembling, but she knew how strong her wife wanted to seem.

Elsa merely sat there, taking all the poisonous cries with widened eyes. She tightened her jaw, and her body tensed when she felt fists weakly pounding against her chest. She allowed it. She wanted it. Her own fingers, suddenly quivering, wrapped around itself in a fist, but never once had she ever touched Anna.

"Why did it have to be you…? Why couldn't I just forget about you and move on? You just kept bringing me in… keeping me within arms reach, while I had nothing. Nothing. What makes you so special that I still love you? Answer me… Why can't you answer me?" the redhead wept.

Tears, all filled with remembrance and the bitterness of Anna's words, suddenly coated her eyes. She couldn't even spare a glance at her pitiful wife. She couldn't even defend herself from the numerous poundings on her body because then… that would mean she didn't deserve it. Right?

Those quiet sobs had grown louder. Anna's hurtful poundings had softened, fingers finally grasping on her shirt… and now the only pressure that touched her was Anna's head against her chest. It was then that Elsa had embraced her wife again, her arms holding her as tightly as they could. As much love as she could ever provide. Her tears trickled down her cheeks in silence, and all that filled the living room was Anna's cries - and, oddly enough, it was like music to Elsa.

Her breath hitched as she inhaled. Her body soothed out from its tension as she felt Anna gripping her collar as tightly as possible as if never wanting to let go. Gods, Elsa felt like she was suffocating under the layers and layers of gnawing pain.

There was one thing she wanted to say to relieve that torture… one thing she wanted Anna to accept.

"I'm sorry," she barely croaked, dropping her head, lips against Anna's hair.

"You… bitch…"

"Call me what you want, Anna," she replied. "It doesn't change the fact that I still love you… that I will always be there for you… and that if you cry, I will always wipe your tears away."

She shook her head against Elsa's chest. "Don't say that… You can't promise something that you don't mean."

She leaned closer in emphasis. "I mean it all. Wholeheartedly. I don't expect you to trust me. I don't expect anything from you. I… I just want you to know that I'm there, and I will always put you first."

Her wife inhaled shakily. The crying had stopped… and while the silence continued on for a while, the tension had lessened. Still, Elsa continued to clutch her wife tightly in her arms… because they belonged here. They belonged together as broken as they were.

"She said those exact same things."

Elsa's eyelids fluttered open slightly. Knives continued to twist and turn through her heart, but she held out a longing smile for her. Her tender fingers continued to nuzzle through Anna's hair, feeling the woman ease herself soon after. It always felt nice knowing what would make her wife feel good… knowing that Anna's outburst - while filled with resentment and hurt - was short-lived. Though Elsa hadn't complimented her, she knew she had to speak from the heart. She peered blankly at the slow expansion and shrinkage of Anna's back with each gradual breath taken. It was hypnotizing, really.

Bitter tears, while Anna wasn't looking, rolled over Elsa's sympathetic smile. There were so much to say, so much she needed to prove to Anna…

"I… never told you how I felt," she uttered slowly, dragging her fingers through her wife's hair in comfort. "When you came to me… weeping, telling me how it was your fault for thinking of me when you were having your own time by yourself, telling me how you slept with her, still with me in your mind…" her grip around Anna's waist strained, jaw tightening, "Anna, I was jealous. I was… so god damn jealous."

Slowly, as expected as it was, Anna had pulled away. Eyes, reddened from the weeping, turned to her with all the attention.

With a slight touch, her fingers gingerly pushing back Anna's auburn hair, the blonde tilted her head. She's so beautiful… And she was so beautiful that Elsa couldn't believe Anna was sitting right in front of her, curiosity and yearning trapped in those bright eyes. And I don't deserve this…

Still, Elsa continued to dress her face with a smile, eyeing her so warmly and longingly. There wasn't a chance that she was ever going to let her go now. "I wanted to be her. I thought… it should have been me that was with you. Watching you. Touching you. It should have been me that should have given you all the love you deserve. It should have been me. But it wasn't… and I watched you drown in your misery day after day, doing nothing… thinking that it would be the best for both of us to just stay apart. Thinking that she was better than me in all the ways that you thought I was. I watched you be happy with someone that should have been me, and I was angry and resentful at myself for leaving you. I was stupid to think that I was falling out of love with you… and I hurt you so badly because of this. It should never have been this way, and I -"

Her heart ceased its drumming. Her body tensed, eyes widened, and Anna's flowery fragrance had quickly drifted into her space. The moment felt like an eternity, as if all space and time didn't exist. The warmth drenched the atmosphere, but she knew what this was. She knew whose warmth this was. It was so calming. So soothing.

Familiar… oh, familiar lips were pinned against her own, gentle auburn hair brushing against her brows, nose rested side by side against each other.

Relaxation slowly came to stay. And as her darkness had taken into her sight, the only remaining tears that rested on the tip of her chin had fallen… and whatever sorry emotions she was feeling had been coated with elation and shock. Her breathing had been hitched… and all she could sense was Anna's gentle touch on her wrists. All she could taste… was her sweetness. It had been so long… it felt so long, and she wanted this to be even longer.

She whimpered - not knowing why she did or if it even mattered - as she felt a hand gently hold her jaw, a touch drawn to the side of her thigh. Their breathing was slow and calculated, Anna's lips on her own was filled with perfection. And as reluctant as she was, knowing that Anna would be drunk by now, Elsa wanted to drown in her acquainted touch. She wanted to drown in Anna's… love.

Slowly, while it seemed like forever, her tensed body had weakened… and she leaned in closer with much eagerness… much love. Her fingers wrapped around her wife's thin wrist on her lap, another holding around her waist. No other thoughts, no other words could ever escape, and Elsa wanted to stay this way. But reluctantly, her heart said no. Her heart said stop.

She sighed, her own lips spread for more, and Anna mirrored her action. Her cheeks grew hot with desire, and her tingling fingers wanted to search for more.

Nothing… felt more perfect than the woman sitting in front of her. Nothing felt softer than the lips that had seized her own for each other and the way her hands would hold her, like a king to a queen. Like my darling wife…

Her own eyes were hooded, watching Anna drown in their much longed-for kiss… watching as the woman's brows furrowed with want.

But there was yet more to give as Anna was the first to pull away and Elsa was the first person to see her turquoise eyes. They were still so close, and Elsa didn't want to blink.

She could see it all - the crimson flush of Anna's cheek, her glistening lips marked by Elsa, the way her eyes twinkled with need… and, looking down, Anna still had her hand on the woman's lap.

Everything just felt warm.

"Anna…" she mouthed, barely a whisper spelling out her name.

"I've been waiting for so long… I can't lose this. I can't lose you."

"Anna -" Damn it…

Out of breath, out of mind, and without words, Elsa's lips fell apart again with series of hushed pants as she felt the same soft pair of lips lay heavy kisses against the crook of her neck… and her mind drifted in the scent of the woman that laid flushed against her. Willingly, she did all that any women would do… and she accepted her wife's gentle, passionate treatment.

Having her hand perfectly wrapped around Anna's sharp shoulder as support, Elsa was relishing and reliving the dream of the redhead caressing her… lips making a home on her neck and shoulder like it was the last time this was going to happen. Her eyes… fluttered shut, and without an intruding thought, she allowed Anna to push her down… body against body, legs entwined between each other, skin prickling with each string of hot breath kissing her.

Her hands searched through her wife's hair… her small back, the side of her legs, but never once did she gather the courage to hold her. Never had she felt so hot, her desire aroused from its deep slumber just from simple kisses worshiping her neck. Admittedly, it felt so good...

A gentle song of moans and sighs were drenched with want, and all Elsa could hear was the satisfaction that Anna was getting from this… from strumming Elsa like a toy. And she felt like a toy - suffocating and blessed with pleasure.

Finally, she grasped the collar of the loosely buttoned white shirt Anna was wearing. She eyed the white canvas of the ceiling, feeling a sharp knee pressed between her legs… feeling hands reaching for her body while they danced… and everything that had kissed her sensitive skin had placed Elsa in a land of dreams.

It finally came to her that Anna was kissing her, hurried, rushed… but it was passionate, nonetheless. However much Elsa wanted this to be slow, she shared the blissful sighs, her thin fingers stroking Anna's hair, her body writhing in need. Her legs were bent and wrapped around her wife, and despite what she thought before, she could feel her own arousal pooling over her.

"Anna…" she croaked, and the only reply was a gentle stroke of Anna's tongue drawing up her neck to her jaw. Speechlessness had caught her bobbing throat, her head tilting up with a gasp… and she could barely remember the glow of Anna's teal eyes staring back at her.

"I want you…" the redhead husked, the touch of her gentle lips against her own, drenched Elsa in the same desire.

Her hooded eyes, looking as submissive as they were to Anna, gleamed like the dim glow of the moonlight. She was resigning to patience, waiting… waiting for Anna's next move, but a part of Elsa had fallen impatient. "Anna…"

"So I need you to shut up, and know that I want you. That I never stopped wanting you, needing you…" lips pecked against the curved shell of her ear, her finger grazing her sharp jaw, "and I never stopped loving you…"

The drumming of her heart quickened with each word, dripping with desire, whispered to her. With every swallow, every little bob of her throat, she tasted remnants of Anna's honeyed taste. On the tip of her tongue, she could even taste the neediness in her words.

Her blue eyes were immersed in weakness, blending with a pool of crimson-colored passion. "Darling…"

"Hm…"

"You're drunk…" was her reply. And although her body expected cool air to meet her, she still continued to feel her wife's burning heat.

"I'm not drunk," she breathed, and only then… only when Elsa had placed her own hands to her own sides, Anna had sat up. The mess that she was, the desperation shown in the flush of her cheeks… Elsa adored it. She couldn't understand why she would be reluctant to take her wife in. For once… greed and love had taken over her own soul, and the only specks of familial care had been buried upon it.

It had been forever since she had last seen her wife sit on her lap like this - back arched… shirt sliding off one shoulder, copper strands descending down her eyes. Those eyes… no, Elsa had never seen that before. Adoration? Love? Heartbreak? It was none of those. Her brain, infused with the scent of her wife, scrambled to understand the dark shade in her pupils, but everything just felt hot.

"Anna… I don't want to make another mistake."

"Please." Her hand had grabbed Elsa's wrist, placing her spread palm upon the side of her smooth thigh.

"Anna -"

"I need you." And while the gesture was small, the suggestiveness from the guiding touch and her plea was enough to make her nod. Deep down, she longed for the day Anna would say that… she longed for Anna's touch burning on her skin again… longed for the day Anna would look at her this way again. How cold would she be if she refused? Would Meg have refused?

"Touch me…" Anna emphasized into the thickness of the air, in a whisper that all Elsa knew was brimmed with need.

Eyeing the hand ushering on the back of her own, Elsa was deep in the realization that she had promised she would give Anna anything that she wanted. Nothing could hold them back… and nothing felt more special than knowing that Anna had encouraged her to touch. A touch… just a single touch…

And, despite her best effort of wanting to be proper… to be responsible for the betterment of Anna, a nagging part of her wanted to give her just that.

Biting her lip in contemplation, she eyed her wife's expression, so full of desperation and need for warmth - for a body to be against her own. With her heart skipping beats, Elsa realized… she didn't want her wife to be lonely anymore. She didn't want to be the one to catch those sorrowful tears anymore. Right now, all that was there for her was the sight of the lust in Anna's teal eyes… and how beautiful her body was sitting on top of her. She couldn't possibly refuse any longer.

"Okay… let's get us to bed."

a/n: ah... the moment we've all been waiting for...