José Mourinho called himself "the enemy" on his return to the ground he still describes as home but the Portuguese manager Internazionale coach said even the Chelsea owner, Roman Abramovich, would concede that the better team had won as Internazionale beat Chelsea last night.

Mourinho's former players departed with a familiar snarl and there were echoes of their controversial elimination by Barcelona a year ago as two credible penalty appeals were ignored, Didier Drogba was sent off and John Terry confronted the referee at the end before appearing to mouth "fucking shit" at the fourth official on his way down the tunnel.

Drogba had been sent off three minutes from time for stamping on Thiago Motta's ankle. The striker received a four-match ban for abusing the referee Tom Henning Ovrebo after Barça's 1-1 draw here last May, with two further games suspended for a probationary three-year period. That extra Uefa sanction is likely to come into effect, potentially condemning the striker to a four-game suspension at the start of next season. Mourinho put Chelsea's behaviour down to frustration.

"Yesterday someone asked me if I would still be special if I lost here," he said. "But today I'm not so special for Chelsea supporters who will probably never forgive me. It was difficult coming to my home as an enemy, but that is what happened. I exchanged SMS messages with John Terry yesterday [and] told him one of us would be sad today. That's life.

"Roman is a very intelligent person and because of that he's not the same person that he was when he arrived in football. Probably he thought it would be easy when he first arrived in football. It's not easy. It's difficult. Teams win on small details which make the difference. He knows it's not easy now. He knows now how to read a game, understand a game, analyse the game and knows his team lost against a side who deserved to win. He's a man of class, so he will accept this defeat because he knows Inter were the best team."

Abramovich walked across the pitch after the match, as the Inter supporters bellowed Mourinho's name. "This [Chelsea] is a team that lost a semi-final with a goal that was not a goal [in 2005], lost a semi-final on penalties [2007], lost a final on penalties [2008], lost a semi-final in a game that they should have won 3-0 with three penalties that were not given [last year]," said Mourinho. "This is the story of this club and the story of these players. This is their history – one of frustration.

"They had the ambition to go through and they were frustrated because, immediately, they felt that Inter were the best team. I'm not saying Inter are better than them. I'm saying that, today, Inter were much better than Chelsea, from the first minute to the last minute, and that brought frustration to their players, great professionals and great people. My people will always be my people. But today I was the enemy. And the enemy won. That's life."

Carlo Ancelotti, whose side were denied two first-half penalties after Walter Samuel appeared to haul down Drogba, said he had not been surprised by Mourinho's selection that saw Wesley Sneijder behind three forwards, as Inter protected a 2-1 first-leg lead. "Maybe this defeat could be a very good motivation for the next few games," said Chelsea's manager. "We'll have more pressure on us now but we must be strong and have good control of our emotions. My only regret is that we didn't play as well as we did in the first leg. I know exactly what the expectations are. I have worked a long time in this environment. It's normal that a manager comes under pressure if he loses a few matches."Mourinho said: "I'm very happy because I won. I'm not very happy because they lost. I'm very happy because my players are happy, my supporters are happy, my president is happy, and because I worked so much for this game. As a professional, that's the best feeling you can have. I'm not happy because my ex-players or Roman lost, or that Chelsea supporters go home sad. I'm not happy about their unhappiness. But that's life."