This story was originally written prior to the unmasking of the rabbit on Wednesday night. Now that we know the rabbit is Joey Fatone, and only Fatone, the show’s integrity has been called into question. Have they been less than honest with us about the number of accolades the singers have received? It would appear so.

Like millions of Americans in need of a lighthearted, frivolous distraction these days, I have become completely obsessed with Fox TV’s “The Masked Singer.” It’s a bizarre concept for a show purporting to be a singing competition, but once you watch it, you’re absolutely hooked. For reasons impossible to articulate, B-list celebs singing in cumbersome costumes with giant heads is one of the best, most addictive things to come along in a while.

I am not a casual viewer tuning in for fun once a week, or making guesses based on a couple of cherry-picked clues and hunches. Oh, no, I’m recording and rewinding, hanging out on every Masked Singer Facebook page, making copious notes and spreadsheets, and brainstorming with equally over-invested friends when I should be cleaning my house. My real world work has suffered because I’ve been feverishly scouring web pages for leads like a private investigator in it for a paycheck.

The competition is now in week eight, and the only reason I’m not too embarrassed to admit how dedicated I’ve been to this guessing game is that I think my commitment has finally paid off. I’ve solved what has come down to a rather simple logic puzzle. I now know the identities of the remaining masked singers, no doubt about it. If you hate spoilers and/or conspiracy theories, you’ll want to stop reading now. Trust me. I’ve figured it out, and it’s crazy, but also really, really good.

Let’s get a few things out of the way first.

The identities of four of the five remaining performers have already been established. If you don’t already know who’s in the peacock, bee, monster, and lion costumes, stop reading now, and go figure those out. Doing that is a pretty straightforward exercise at this point. There are now dozens of clues to work with, many of them dead giveaways. Only when you have those four identities nailed down will you be equipped to corner the elusive rabbit.

Once you’re ready, come back and follow me down the rabbit hole. But don’t come along if you like surprises. If you like surprises, put your device down now, and back away. You don’t want to know what’s coming at the end of the series just yet. It will be ruined for you, and I don’t want to be responsible for your regret. Everyone else, let’s begin.

Grab a scratch pad and pencil or a calculator if you can’t add and subtract quickly in your head.

The names that have come up most frequently when the rabbit’s identity is being discussed are former *NSYNC boy band members Joey Fatone and J.C. Chasez. Fatone is slightly in the lead, and many people consider it a closed case. There’s only one problem with it being Joey Fatone, and it’s the same problem with it being J.C. Chasez. It comes down to something rather unsexy, and that’s numbers, basic math.

One thing viewers are told from the start of the competition is that the contestants have amassed a grand total of sixty-five Grammy nominations throughout their careers. Of the sixty-five, only fourteen have been accounted for with the unmasking of Hippo (Antonio Brown), Pineapple (Tommy Chong), Deer (Terry Bradshaw), Poodle (Margaret Cho), Unicorn (Tori Spelling), Raven (Ricki Lake), and Alien (LaToya Jackson).

Tommy Chong has six nominations, Margaret Cho has five, LaToya Jackson has two, and Terry Bradshaw has one. Brown, Spelling, and Lake have none. That leaves us with fifty-one slots to fill, and only five performers left in the field.

This is where things begin to get interesting and confusing, once you know for sure who’s in the peacock, bee, lion, and monster costumes. I’m assuming all the readers who don’t like spoilers have left the room by now, so I’m going to speak freely and start naming names.

Like a lot of viewers, I was able to put Donny Osmond as the peacock in the ‘decided’ column with just a handful of clues and a few bars of his first song. I was a ’60s kid and a ’70s teen. I’m also a fan of musicals. I know Donny Osmond inside and out, except for one thing. I didn’t know he’s never been nominated for a single Grammy in his storied career. Not one. It makes no sense to me that Terry Bradshaw’s been nominated, but Donny Osmond hasn’t, but that’s the case. Wild, right?

So, Donny-Peacock is out of the way. We’re still in need of fifty-one Grammy noms.

The top getter is the incomparable Gladys Knight, the bee. She’s accumulated twenty-two nominations. The lion has to be Rumer Willis, who has none yet, but I can envision several in her future based on her Masked Singer showing. The monster has to be T-Pain. Even though he hasn’t been mentioned by the panel yet, fan sleuths have tracked down all the clues necessary to knock every other possibility off the table. T-Pain has thirteen nominations.

So, now we’re left with sixteen nominations to account for, and only the rabbit to take credit for them. Who fits all the clues, and also has sixteen Grammy nominations? Not front-runner, Joey Fatone. He only has eight Grammy nods. Not J.C. Chasez. He’s also short on nominations, and has eight. I’ve had these figures on my spreadsheet for weeks, and it never clicked, until now. Eight plus eight equals sixteen.

Could it be merely a coincidence? No, it could not.

At this point, you may be saying to yourself, “I see where this is going, and it’s crazy. It can only mean the rabbit’s not an *NSYNC member.” Let me tell you why it’s not crazy. Remember when the rabbit was asked if he’d ever been on tour with Nicole Scherzinger? He refused to give a direct answer. That’s because Nicole’s group, Eden’s Crush, toured only with *NSYNC. The rabbit’s clues eliminate Justin Timberlake, Lance Bass, and Chris Kirkpatrick.

That’s right, fellow fans, they’re pulling a fast one on us. The rabbit is Joey, and the rabbit is J.C. But how? How have they accomplished this? By taking turns, and giving clues that either point to both, or to the one who’s performing at the time. It’s sneaky, and doesn’t seem quite in keeping with the spirit of the game, but the rabbit did tell us from the start he’s a trickster.

You want more evidence? Okay, here we go:

1. The rabbit, we were told during his first appearance, is 5'11”. Joey Fatone and J.C. Chasez are both 5'11”.

2. In the rabbit’s opening clue package, he described his background, and said, “Performed on stage? Check. Performed in a mask? Check. Have a voice? Check-Check.” Rabbit is telling us he has two voices.

3. The rabbit says he pops up here, then pops up there, and clue scenes show him disappearing, then reappearing partially hidden in another location in the scene, as though he’s been watching stealthily.

4. If you listen closely, you’ll notice the rabbit’s voice is a little stronger and smoother on some songs than others. J.C. has long been regarded as the best singer in *NSYNC, even better than Justin Timberlake, while Joey was always relegated to background vocals. It appears that J.C. is performing as rabbit on songs that require a wide range and sustained notes, while Joey takes on selections that are more forgiving and allow him to be playful.

5. If you look closely, using others on stage as points of reference, you’ll notice the rabbit’s physique varies slightly from show to show. His costume is strategically designed to obscure or draw attention away from parts of the performer’s body that would look noticeably different to viewers and the panel.

6. The rabbit was barely into his first song, “La Vida Loca,” when Nicole said, “I feel like I know that voice.” She seemed to realize by the end of the performance it was much too early in the game to plant J.C. in the minds of viewers, and suggested Criss Angel instead. It was an absurd suggestion, but she didn’t have much time to think. During a later performance by the rabbit, Nicole recognized Joey’s voice, and said so. At this point, she’s thoroughly confused.

7. Off camera after one of his later performances, in which the panelists were talking among themselves, and mentioned both Joey and J.C., the rabbit laughed and gloated. He said his “twisted spin on a classic” plan was working just as he’d hoped, and he was enjoying being the puppet master rather than a puppet for a change.

8. Keep in mind that the entire competition was filmed in 2018. When Robin Thicke spoke about the performers in an interview recently, he said he was completely shocked when the final “two or three” performers were revealed. That’s an odd way to put it. One would know if it was three, or just two. Perhaps he phrased it that way because the final two are actually three.

If you’re still unconvinced, just do what I did when I first got this crazy notion of a two-in-one performer in my head. Go back and watch all the episodes from the beginning. Listen carefully for hints you may have missed the first time around. Follow the carrots. There are more. The first clue is in the introduction, when the announcer says, “Twelve celebrities will compete with…one…BIG…twist.” And don’t forget the math. The math is what will leave you with only one undeniable, unavoidable solution to the problem that is the rabbit.