FRANKIE DeGROOT | NSW | CONTACT

It was a close call for Adrian “Ayrton” Clarkson yesterday when he narrowly avoided a speeding fine whilst travelling at 85km/h in a School Zone in his lightly modified BA Falcon.

“I thought I was gone mate. I just seen him come out of a side street and light me up and I was like faaaarrrrkkk” said Adrian as he wiped some bird droppings off his carbon-fibre wrapped bonnet with a crumpled parking ticket

“So as he’s walking up to the car he’s got his book out and clicked his pen and at that point I knew if I didn’t do something I would get a really big fine or even lose my licence.”

“Luckily I already had my secret weapon ready to go: shouting”

“Before he could even open his gob I was leaning out of the window, asking him what his problem was. I let him know that he should be out there stopping old ladies from being murdered instead of harassing drivers who weren’t hurting anybody, then I advised him to get a ‘real job’ and stop revenue raising for the fucken government. By the time I started poking his chest and reminding him that as a taxpayer he technically worked for me, I knew he could see I had made some pretty good points.”

The officer promised to downgrade Adrian’s court appearance to a fine, and then to a warning, but ended up simply scurrying back to his patrol car after a hasty apology.

“Poor bugger didn’t know what hit him” mused Adrian. “The trick is to arc up straight away so they can see that you’re serious”.



NSW Highway Patrol were unavailable for comment.