We are judged not only by the public selves we invent but also by the things we keep private. Often the contradiction between the two seems significant. The fact that Newt Gingrich was having an affair the whole time he was busy trying to impeach Bill Clinton for lying about having an affair called into question whether Mr. Gingrich was motivated by his dedication to the moral high ground or — you think? — the opportunity to drag his adversary down. We see this again and again, especially in the long list of anti-gay family-values Republicans who have later come out — sometimes voluntarily, and sometimes as a result of being busted.

There have been more documented instances of Republican congressmen being arrested for solicitation in restrooms than transgender people. Perhaps what we need is a law keeping members of the Republican Party out of men’s rooms.

We seem to agree that secrets that belie the carefully constructed personae of public scolds or elected officials are worth knowing. (My favorite was when William Bennett lost over $8 million at casinos during the decade he published “The Book of Virtues.”) When the infamous tape of President Donald Trump boasting about “pussy grabbing” came out, though, there didn’t seem to be any lasting consequences, perhaps because no one was surprised. The secret revealed nothing that we didn’t know, or suspect, already. Sad!

But a trans identity isn’t a secret. It’s private. There’s a difference. Not revealing one’s private medical history doesn’t mean that someone isn’t who you think they are. Zeke Smith wasn’t hiding his identity. He just didn’t think it was anybody’s business. There are many people like Mr. Smith, who live in what used to be called “stealth.” But since that word implies, à la Mr. Varner, that transgender people are deceptive, it’s not as common today. In writing my most recent novel, about a woman whose family doesn’t know her history, I talked to a woman whose husband did not know his wife was born a different gender. She resented other people moralizing about her choice. “It’s not about who I was, it’s about who I am,” she said.