

Previous | Next Glorious Master Translator Posted at: 2012-04-23 17:29:34 Original ad:

I need someone who speaks japanese to help me translate something. wont take too long. please email me ASAP!



From Me to ************@***********.org:



Hi! You need Japanese translate? I Chan, I help you with translate.



- Chan



From Scott ******* to Me:



hey chan. so ok heres the deal. my cd player suddenly stopped working and i cant figure out why. for some reason the only manual i have is entirely in japanese. i took a pic of the page im pretty sure its the trouble shooting part. can you see if it says anything about no sound coming from the output?







From Me to Scott *******:



Ok, I find three thing may help you:



"Failure of Sound from Device"

"Skipping of disc for poor sound"

"Sound volume low very much"



- Chan



From Scott ******* to Me:



umm..what does it say for the failure of sound one?



From Me to Scott *******:



"Hello and thank you for chose glorious master CD player! Apologies many for trouble of product. To fix failure of the sound, follow step:



1. Unplug glorious master CD player

2. Plug glorious master CD player back in"



I hope this help!



- Chan



From Scott ******* to Me:



that doesnt help me at all. is that all it says?



From Me to Scott *******:



Oh no! Very sorry. There more steps to help you! Here:



"If still experience failure of the sound, your glorious master CD player possessed by audio demon. To banish audio demon, follow step:



1. Ignite seven candle

2. Pray to Benzaiten, Goddess of Music

3. Benzaiten will banish audio demon to eternal suffering

4. Try play CD again



If you fail banishing of audio demon, you failure. Much dishonor of family name. Suggest immediate death by Seppuku."



I hope you banish audio demon! Much luck.



- Chan



From Scott ******* to Me:



wtf? does it really say that?



From Me to Scott *******:



I just translate what you give.



From Scott ******* to Me:



no way it says that. what kind of useless manual is this? how is that supposed to help anyone?



From Me to Scott *******:



Very sorry, audio demon big problem with many CD player! I have sword, much sharp, good for seppuku. You want borrow?



From Scott ******* to Me:



wtf are you talking about. an audio demon? this is BS. are you screwing with me?



From Scott ******* to Me:



did i send the wrong page? i think this is the table of contents. can you look at this and tell me which page is the troubleshooting one? then ill send you that one







From Me to Scott *******:



That no table of content, that Sushi take-out menu! Try #16, Spicy Salmon Roll! Much delicious!



From Scott ******* to Me:



..........ok buddy. thanks for nothing you jackass





Later, from another email account





From Me to *********@*********.org:



Hey there,



I saw your ad and think I can help you. I majored in Japanese in college, speak it fluently, and lived in Miyazaki for two years.



Mike



From Scott ******* to Me:



thanks so much mike. i was talking to someone else for help, but idk what his problem was. dude kept sending me all this BS. anyway my cd player isnt working and the manual is only in japanese so i need help reading the troubleshooting part. i think the attached picture is the table of contents, could you see if it says what page the troubleshooting part is on and then ill send you that?







From Me to Scott *******:



You sent me a sushi take-out menu. Are you sure you have the right documents?



From Scott ******* to Me:



wtf!!! i dont know what is going on! it has a picture of the cd player on the front and then this is the next page. why would they put a sushi menu in there?



From Me to Scott *******:



Japanese instruction manuals are not like the American manuals you are used to. They often include advertisements, and I guess in this case, a sushi menu. Looking at it closer, it says "Thank you for purchasing this glorious master CD player. Why not order sushi while you enjoy music?"



Mike



From Scott ******* to Me:



well that is dumb...whatever. i think this page is the troubleshooting part because of the tables. am i right? do you see anything about there not being any sound?







From Me to Scott *******:



Yes, this is the right page. It says to unplug it and plug it back in.



Mike



From Scott ******* to Me:



yea i did that. nothing. is that it?



From Me to Scott *******:



Well, you're not gonna want to hear this, but it says your CD player is possessed by Amanojaku, or "audio demon." You should light three candles and pray to Benzaiten, the god of music.



Mike



From Me to Scott *******:



Scott? Were you able to banish the audio demon?



Hi! You need Japanese translate? I Chan, I help you with translate.- Chanhey chan. so ok heres the deal. my cd player suddenly stopped working and i cant figure out why. for some reason the only manual i have is entirely in japanese. i took a pic of the page im pretty sure its the trouble shooting part. can you see if it says anything about no sound coming from the output?Ok, I find three thing may help you:"Failure of Sound from Device""Skipping of disc for poor sound""Sound volume low very much"- Chanumm..what does it say for the failure of sound one?"Hello and thank you for chose glorious master CD player! Apologies many for trouble of product. To fix failure of the sound, follow step:1. Unplug glorious master CD player2. Plug glorious master CD player back in"I hope this help!- Chanthat doesnt help me at all. is that all it says?Oh no! Very sorry. There more steps to help you! Here:"If still experience failure of the sound, your glorious master CD player possessed by audio demon. To banish audio demon, follow step:1. Ignite seven candle2. Pray to Benzaiten, Goddess of Music3. Benzaiten will banish audio demon to eternal suffering4. Try play CD againIf you fail banishing of audio demon, you failure. Much dishonor of family name. Suggest immediate death by Seppuku."I hope you banish audio demon! Much luck.- Chanwtf? does it really say that?I just translate what you give.no way it says that. what kind of useless manual is this? how is that supposed to help anyone?Very sorry, audio demon big problem with many CD player! I have sword, much sharp, good for seppuku. You want borrow?wtf are you talking about. an audio demon? this is BS. are you screwing with me?did i send the wrong page? i think this is the table of contents. can you look at this and tell me which page is the troubleshooting one? then ill send you that oneThat no table of content, that Sushi take-out menu! Try #16, Spicy Salmon Roll! Much delicious!..........ok buddy. thanks for nothing you jackassLater, from another email accountHey there,I saw your ad and think I can help you. I majored in Japanese in college, speak it fluently, and lived in Miyazaki for two years.Mikethanks so much mike. i was talking to someone else for help, but idk what his problem was. dude kept sending me all this BS. anyway my cd player isnt working and the manual is only in japanese so i need help reading the troubleshooting part. i think the attached picture is the table of contents, could you see if it says what page the troubleshooting part is on and then ill send you that?You sent me a sushi take-out menu. Are you sure you have the right documents?wtf!!! i dont know what is going on! it has a picture of the cd player on the front and then this is the next page. why would they put a sushi menu in there?Japanese instruction manuals are not like the American manuals you are used to. They often include advertisements, and I guess in this case, a sushi menu. Looking at it closer, it says "Thank you for purchasing this glorious master CD player. Why not order sushi while you enjoy music?"Mikewell that is dumb...whatever. i think this page is the troubleshooting part because of the tables. am i right? do you see anything about there not being any sound?Yes, this is the right page. It says to unplug it and plug it back in.Mikeyea i did that. nothing. is that it?Well, you're not gonna want to hear this, but it says your CD player is possessed by Amanojaku, or "audio demon." You should light three candles and pray to Benzaiten, the god of music.MikeScott? Were you able to banish the audio demon? Previous | Next Share Showing comments 1-25. View all comments John Mathews (2020-09-06 21:32:35)

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