Earlier today I was munching on some bulk peanuts from Target (on sale, three bucks. Good protein), and flushing some email.

Quality of the nuts varies, however. (Well, as with the email).

I took another handful of nuts, chewed, and found that one of them had a strange flavor. Kind of sweet and tangy. “Good peanut,” I thought; one of those nonsense, no-consequence thoughts that floats through your head when you’re staring into space and cud-chewing.

A minute later, I ran my fingers through my hair and got back to the keyboard. Something stuck to my fingers. It was the leg of a spider.

Beat.

“Huh. I think I ate a spider.”

Beat.

“Not bad.”

Beat.

“I wonder if there are any more?”

[I was going look, just to see if I could find more evidence and return the rest of them to Target…]