Donald Trump to learn what real wealth, power and control looks like during visit to Vatican

President Trump is to be given a glimpse into what being stupidly wealthy and holding power over hundreds of millions of people can really look like during a planned trip to the Vatican next week.

A senior administration official has announced Trump’s itinerary for his first foreign trip as President, which will see him visit Israel, Saudi Arabia and the Vatican while aiming to address the religious differences between Judaism, Islam and Christianity, and also to provide Melania with a much-needed break from her captor.

Senior Vatican spokesperson Simon Williamo told the press, “We are delighted to be hosting the most powerful man in the world later this month. Well, the second most powerful man I suppose, after you-know-who.

“It will be an excellent opportunity for President Trump, who regularly falls into the sin of boasting about his wealth and power to marvel at how the Catholic Church can cling to unimaginable riches, and control hundreds of millions of people around the world while being entirely humble about it.

“Now he has fulfilled his dream of becoming President it will be good to give him something else to aspire to.”

He added, “The only potentially awkward part of Trump’s visit will be the Pope having to break the news to him that he is not actually God.”