The wife of Orlando nightclub shooter Omar Mateen broke her silence since her husband’s deadly rampage in June, insisting in her first media interview that she was “unaware” of his plans and that she has been left broken by the tragedy.

Noor Salman, 30, told the New York Times that she has moved three times since the Pulse nightclub massacre to avoid media attention and sometimes finds herself too shattered to get out of bed. But now she wants to speak out to relay a message to the public: “I just want people to know that I am human. I am a mother,” she told the newspaper.

Salman recounted her abusive relationship with Mateen, whom she met on an Internet dating site in 2011. The two had a 3-year-old son together. The violence she recalled, which included him punching her and threatening her, is similar to the accounts Mateen’s ex-wife Sitora Yusufiy has described.

Still, Salman said she did not know what her husband had planned. “I was unaware of everything,” she said. “I don’t condone what he has done. I am very sorry for what has happened. He has hurt a lot of people. How can someone be capable of that?”

[NYT]

Get The Brief. Sign up to receive the top stories you need to know right now. Please enter a valid email address. Sign Up Now Check the box if you do not wish to receive promotional offers via email from TIME. You can unsubscribe at any time. By signing up you are agreeing to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy . This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Thank you! For your security, we've sent a confirmation email to the address you entered. Click the link to confirm your subscription and begin receiving our newsletters. If you don't get the confirmation within 10 minutes, please check your spam folder.

Contact us at letters@time.com.