Coach Larry Fedora’s boys got caught in a snarl of N.C.A.A. misdemeanors last week, and that left him deeply saddened. Thirteen of his football players at the University of North Carolina were nabbed after selling university-issued commemorative Nike basketball sneakers to a local outlet.

The players face suspensions of one to four games.

“I’m extremely disappointed in our players’ actions and how their actions reflect on the university and our department,” Fedora told reporters. “My responsibility is to help grow them into men. So they are going to face the consequences of their action.”

Fedora’s boss, Athletic Director Bubba Cunningham, was mournful. “We are disappointed when we fall short,” he said.

Elite college sports is a car so broken it might be best to let a chop shop have it and sell the thing off for parts. This scandal, though, is best played for giggles, not least the notion that these players’ actions reflect badly on their university.