I’ve been sick.

Missing school kind of sick.

Not leaving bed kind of sick.

Finally I’m sitting in foods class just glad I didn’t actually miss much.

I’ve decided that I’ve been focusing way too hard on the social aspect of school.

This is what headphones and personal space is for.

I thought I would make friends here but I’ve learned that not many people here are in my mind space.

They don’t need this to fulfill their lives.

They don’t regret every moment they skipped a class or got suspended

I do.

Because for me, those moments never pass.

They never go away and they rarely get better.

Despite it all

Today is a good day.

I have learned something truly exceptional and crucial to my wellbeing.

That is that I’m not the girl I once was.

And let’s pray I never am again.

I have a significant amount less self loathing than I once did. I am more peaceful, but still a chaotic mess.

I am at peace with my mess.

So I am here and ready to focus on what and who is really important.

My schooling

My boyfriend.

My best friends

My family.

Myself