August comes and goes in a whirl of time. September arrives and brings the chill in the air, the shorter days, and with it the newest Olympic sport. The Mommy Olympics. The time-honored tradition of mother’s vying for the top spot of recognition at their child’s school. If you are really good in the sport, you can be a contender until your child graduates High School. For some, competition has stretched into college, and sadly even the workplace.

You all know Mary Sue. Mary Sue is the President of the parenting group. She heads up the group at not just one school, but two! She is the Booster President of the Cheerleaders. She is the head classroom mom in all five of her children’s classes. Mary Sue is also the President of the Superintendent Council, and serves as Recording Secretary on the school site committee! Whew! It appears as if Mary Sue is in the lead to win this years’ gold medal!

Kids are on the playground vying for position and friendship, but mostly they are just trying to survive the day. Mom’s are out in the parking lot competing for position and the Parent Olympic gold. Top Mom! They all envy Mary Sue and hate Mary Sue at the same time.

Originally the PTA and room parents were there to take some of the pressure off of the teacher. Each teacher is different in his or her needs and wants. I have known teachers who are like the head cheerleader, and love as many volunteers as is possible, and I have known teachers who want no parent in the classroom at all. They appreciate a parent volunteer who will work on the teacher’s terms. I can only imagine what led up to this decision on the educator’s part. Parents can be intrusive to be sure, and one of the biggest problems schools face today is the parents’ need to stay with their child all day. I know from teachers I have spoken with, how tough this can be for the teacher if she has things that need to get done. What is it that the parent fears that will not allow their child a full school day without the presence of mom on campus?

The parents competing in the Mommy Olympics specialize in one-ups-manship. If the teacher asks for one, they will do two. If the teacher wants a simple room celebration, the mom will consult every back issue of Martha Stewart to make it the best party anyone has ever seen. If everyone is asking for $5.00 to contribute to a teacher gift, the Olympic contenders will ask for $10.00. They will do anything to make it better and grander. Often to the detriment of the teacher and the class as a whole.

The Mommy Olympics start slow in September, build momentum in October- December, and nearly collapse come January only to regain speed in the late spring. Some contenders fizzle out by fourth grade, and still, others make it their life mission to compete. They are known to do their kids class projects and be the first to raise their hand to head up every committee. Their prime objective is to been seen and awed. They are at the school more than they are at home, and by the time evening rolls around they are knee deep in some project and can’t be bothered with the mundane task of homemaking. I once knew a dad who told his wife that if she were going to volunteer as many hours as she did, he would prefer she get a full-time job that paid a salary!

Herein lies the problem of the Mommy Olympics. Like a drug-addicted buzz, these mothers are so high on school glue adrenalin that the one area of life they secretly neglect is the home front. By the end of the day, the competing mom is too tired to prepare a proper meal. The dining room is buried under crafts and agendas and minutes from the last PTA/O meeting. Laundry is piled so high; she has been known to run off to Target to make sure everyone has a clean outfit. She has no time to stop! Marital relations? Are you kidding me? Check back in June. Husbands suffer, and the children suffer. But more importantly, the heartbeat of the family known as mom suffers.

There is a way to put an end to the madness and put your family first. It does take a village of volunteers to run a school these days. The village is usually large enough so that there is plenty of work to be spread around. One of the complaints I hear from parents I coach is that it seems to be a “club” they can’t join. They only have time for one volunteer hour or two a week. Perfect! That is all the school is looking for. An hour or two of your time! They want you to pick one thing, and they do not expect you to do it all.

The most admired parents in the staff lounge are the parents that are quiet worker bees. They are really on campus to volunteer in any capacity needed. They know their children are in capable hands, so they have no problem working in the front office, or the computer lab, or the copy room. They love to help the teachers, and are glad to help any teacher; not just the teacher assigned to their child.

To keep the balance in my family, when I led the PTA that is all I did. PTA President. I was not a room mom, and I did not volunteer to be on any extra school committees outside of the PTA. When my tenure was over, I chose one volunteer project. Just one. Whatever best served the school my children were in. When four children attended two schools, I chose one volunteer project for each school. I was not worried about what best served my child at that school because I knew they did not lack my attention; my primary focus is always the home life. I have dinner on the table every night. They usually have clean clothes, regular sleep, and a place to do homework. I will not put more on my plate than what is healthy for my family. When you focus first on your home, I promise the rest will fall into place.

Learn to say no, and feel no guilt. Your gold medal in the Mommy Olympics is waiting for you at home. When your kids grow up, the homemade volcanic cupcakes will be long forgotten. No one will remember how many committees Mary Sue served on, and her PTA trophy shelf will just be another place to dust. What your family will remember most is the nurturing environment you provided at home. Those memories hold no value. They are priceless!