As a gay man, I would like to sign up to be slaughtered by some random extremist in the name of gun control. It's much easier than waiting for the next tragedy to exploit. Plus we can save lives and boost the careers of establishment Democrats who sacrificed so much for the gay community. We owe them our lives.

We could organize an event in public or maybe some kind of victim happy hour so we can be mowed down by a religious zealot for the purposes of furthering gun control legislation. Don't worry, we won't even need to invite this zealot. Based on recent news, he'll probably just show up

Once we ban guns, the people that believe their God commands them to execute gays will be unable to express their hate with guns and must switch back to explosives, beheadings, stonings, hangings, stabbings, beatings, acid attacks, and other forms of blunt force or laceration.

I don't want innocents harmed anymore so I'm willing to sacrifice myself for the cause. Please join me.