

Protests outside Dail Eireann this morning over UK case against the Irish state

The British Government’s Business Secretary, Lord Voldemort, today announced that he had “no choice” other than to take the Irish government to court for their “blatant and shameless copyright violation” of the UK copyright bill, the Digital Economy Act. Voldemort also branded the Irish Justice Minister, Dermot Ahern, “a ridiculous leprechaun“.



In a move which shocked the technology industry and markets today, the UK government made good on its recent promise to aggressively pursue illegal file-sharers and copyright infringers, by slapping a Â£30 billion lawsuit on the Irish Government for what it called “the Irish Government’s shameless copyright violation” of the UK’s Digital Economy Act.

“This has gone on long enough” fumed Lord Voldemort at a Whitehall press-conference this morning. ‘These bastards have been violating our copyright since the early 1920s.’ he raged at gathered journalists. “Every time we introduce a piece of legislation before parliament, as sure as eggs is eggs, about three weeks later the Irish are ripping it off, re-packaging it as their own and then crowing about what utter geniuses they are. Bastards!” he added through a volley of spittle.

“Asbos? They stole ’em. Company law? Nicked it. Tax law? Had that they did. I’m terribly sorry to say it but enough is enough. When it gets to the stage when one government is stealing another government’s legislation on copyright infringement, well, the piss has been well and truly taken. Ya basta. This stops here. You shall not fucking pass!”

Lord Voldemort went on to explain that this was only the beginning. “We’re serving notice right here and now that this ridiculous leprechaun in the Irish justice ministry has gone too far and we intend to sue the bastard until he quite literally stops breathing. And before any of you yellow-tie wearing, Nick Clegg-loving fairies raise an objection, as I understand it we’ll probably be doing the Irish a favour“.

The Irish Goverment has yet to comment, but a Blather source close to Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern disclosed there is some confusion over whether the copyright legislation had been sourced from Wikileaks or Pirate Bay.

More as we get it.

Image

Image from the Nationaal Archief commons pool on Flickr. Used under a CC licence.