After months of grappling over the body and mind of Wayne Rooney through the press and building a rivalry with verbal barbs, Manchester United manager David Moyes and Chelsea Jose Mourinho met face to face at Old Trafford. And instead of poking each other in the eyeballs or fighting to the death to prove their individual power to Rooney, they shook hands. In the sort of way that probably made them wish they had instead opted for the controversial non-handshake.

As Mourinho came out of the tunnel and headed for Moyes, the cameras focused in on them. Mourinho, for reasons even he probably cannot explain, held up both his hands in greeting Moyes, who grabbed both of them to form the sort of ungraceful physical contact between two human beings annoyed by each other's existence that demands scientific examination.

Mourinho suddenly realizes this was a mistake. Moyes tries to make eye contact to make it worse.

And here we are. Dancing like we're at bible camp.

Mourinho then went on to have trouble finding his pen, but at least he knew Moyes couldn't have taken it since his hands were regrettably occupied.

(If you're wondering why we would bother doing a post on a pre-match handshake, you clearly didn't watch the first half.)

(UPDATE: Though a bit more lively than the first half, the match still ended 0-0.)