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Have you ever read the Old Testament? Fifteen is probably a conservative estimate for the number of pages left if you took out all that stuff! Seriously, ancient Hebrew people, if you want to write a compelling story you are doing it the wrong way! Come on!

My brother recently found a lovely volume of the King James Bible hidden amongst the many relics we keep in that filthy old garage of ours. When he showed it to me and asked jokingly if I wanted it, I knew I had to have it. I don’t know if it was some divine force gripping me and compelling me or if it was the bright and inexplicably pink cover of the thing but I grabbed it and started reading immediately. Actually wait, I do know. It was definitely the pink cover. It’s been a while since I read the Bible, the last time was when I was fourteen or fifteen and I haven’t remembered it as well as I should, but one thing I had completely driven out of my memory was the sheer volume of names and genealogical information snuck into the stories like enormous pot-holes in a road.

One minute you’re cruising along reading about God hassling some dude to kill his own son or seeming to forget his Chosen People while they’re being abused by Egyptians, next minute, you’re dealing with a mental breakdown after hitting a wall of text telling you the names of every son, grandson, great grandson, and great great grandson Abraham ever had.

It’s a little disconcerting to say the least.

Thankfully we’ve got Lil K to help us out in that department.

Thanks, Lil K!