But admit it to the world? That would be too much. After spending 20 years presenting myself to the world as a straight man, the idea of presenting myself in any other light was terrifying. Everything would change. My relationships, the way that the world viewed me, the very future that I had planned out for myself — none of these included the possibility of me being out. None of them allowed for the possibility of me finding myself in a relationship with a man. Why would anyone want to identify as someone who is viewed as "lesser"?