WASHINGTON — A couple of chubby brats with big missiles and short fuses.

Is nuclear winter coming?

Fire and fury, the likes of which the world has never seen, are bellowing from a posh golf club in New Jersey while fire and doom emanate from a medieval police state in Asia.

Ever since Donald Trump was elected, the mandarins and chatterers of the capital have been alarmed that we would get to this precipice of blustery, threatening exchanges between Trump and Kim Jong-un about thermonuclear annihilation, and that when we did, it would be parlous.

Fear, Xanax and Ambien abound here.

The rest of what Trump does may be loudmouth blather, but this is real. Now, in the advanced beginner stage of his presidency, he faces the most severe test since the Cuban missile crisis.

As the Obama defense secretary Leon Panetta told Wolf Blitzer in an emotional interview Friday night, this is not reality TV or a time for “loose talk”: “What I’m sensing here is a situation that could get out of control” and lead to the loss of hundreds of thousands of lives in South Korea. So much for John Kelly curbing the crazy.