Take a deep breath, because things are about to get political. Well, sort of. Now that the midterm elections are over, a lot of us are breathing a sigh of relief or, you know, fire. In the next year, both parties are going to start gearing up for the 2020 presidential election and if the last two years is anything to go off of, US expats will probably be answering even more questions about American politics.

Those well-versed in the rules of etiquette will tell you that talking about heavy subjects like politics at social gatherings is a pretty big no-no in any part of the world. It’s like discussing sexuality over dinner with your parents or religion at a company lunch. Yeah, some people do it, but it’s usually deeply uncomfortable for everyone involved. Politics has long been a particularly sore subject for most Americans, where the country is often deeply divided over a range of nuanced issues.

Since I send in my ballot electronically now, I don’t get these little stickers anymore :(

I grew up in Arizona, where politics has long been dominated by the Republican party and when I arrived at an age where I understood politics well enough to form any coherent opinions about any of it, I realized that I was at times surrounded by people who did not share said opinions. Though I grew up in a largely blue area, I went to a high school where my peers were as likely to be conservative as liberal. And as impassioned, egg-headed teenagers, we often found ourselves embroiled in political debates that we usually didn’t have the emotional maturity to deal with. As we got older, we quietly learned to “agree to disagree” for the sake of our friendships.

By the time we went off to our various universities, we had learned to couch our political beliefs with qualifiers when we couldn’t avoid the topic altogether. If I had a dollar for every time I said or heard something along the lines of “This is just my personal belief” or “Everyone’s entitled to their opinion” during a discussion involving politics, I wouldn’t be writing this blog. I’d be on my own island somewhere sunning myself and sipping a fruity alcoholic beverage.

Someday…

I moved to the UK in September of 2016, when tensions were running especially high. Brexit had just happened and now the world, and especially Europe, was watching closely as the presidential election approached. the most common questions I answer on a regular basis are 1) Where is my accent from? And 2) What do I think of Trump? It was jarring at first, but I expect it now.

Though my political views are more likely to be aligned with the average British person than the average American, I don’t always feel qualified to comment on the UK’s political parties or candidates. And while Americans are often ribbed for their lack of insight into global politics, the average person in the UK doesn’t exactly have extensive knowledge of American government either. But with the media attention our elections have garnered, particularly in the last ten years, it’s not surprising that fielding uncomfortable questions around politics has become par for the course for US expats. I remember sometimes having to fend off drunk strangers in the smoking rooms of clubs during my semester abroad in 2012, assuring them that yes, I was definitely going to vote for Obama (It was the truth, but also I was drunk and desperate for them to leave me alone).

I’ve definitely had to bite my tongue a few times when the topic has come up, but overall it’s not really been too much of an issue when it comes to people I know. Most of the uncomfortable interactions I’ve had so far were with strangers and they usually happened at my job. In the year that I worked at Starbucks, it was a daily occurrence for a customer to notice my American accent and ask me about Trump. The worst thing was when they decided to have this discussion during peak times when there was a line out the door! Rarely was anyone actually rude, but their curiosity could be a little unnerving.

So what’s an expat to do?

Channel Obama, obviously

For starters…

Be patient. Try to remember that most of the information that people from other countries consume about our political system is what makes national and international headlines, often with little to no context. Often I think that when people bring up US politics with me, it’s because they’re curious about a cultural difference between their own country and mine, they’re just looking at it through the lens of politics. And let’s be real here, you’ve probably met someone from another country and asked them some pretty awkward questions, too. Frame it as a learning opportunity. If they seem genuinely interested, I try to explain the polarized nature of our political system and our democratic process and it can actually turn into an interesting conversation about politics generally. If you’re not very political or are uncomfortable discussing it, you can always ask a question about their political opinion or system. Chances are they’ll either drop it, or you’ll learn something. Everyone wins. Answer like a politician. There’s a time and a place for the aforementioned discussion, but the counter at Starbucks definitely isn’t one of them. An elderly woman once brought up Trump while ordering a latte and because I wasn’t sure what her opinion was, I responded with a joking grimace. “I think that’s a topic better left undiscussed,” I told her. She laughed. Months later, when a regular expressed his indignation at hearing another customer mock Trump in the café, I changed the subject and went back to work. He took the hint and never brought it up again and life went on.