Is it a strawberry? Is it a pineapple? Is it a conspiracy? Or is it a bid by Waitrose to impress their new brand ambassador (a man best known for playfully messing with form and flavour: "It looks like an apple with a maggot in it, but when they bite into it, it's a chocolate glazed veal sweetbread with a tiny citrus straw!").



Yesterday the supermarket launched what they've dubbed the 'pineberry' - an "Alice in Wonderland-style fruit" as their press release has it. "Despite their extraordinary smell and taste similar to a pineapple, pineberries are still strawberries", Waitrose's PR machine explains. Perhaps taken with their Wonderland analogy, they go on to point out in winning doublespeak that the breeding of this exciting "new fruit" originated in the 18th century when the result of crossing different wild strawberries, Fragaria Chiloensis and Fragaria Virginiana produced Fragaria Ananassa, the base for all modern varieties. The fruit is being grown by these people for Waitrose.

You may remember, Waitrose also breathlessly announced the "strasberry" (strawberries that look a bit, but don't really taste like, raspberries) this time two years ago, accordingly dubbed by the waiting media as the new "it fruit" that "we'll all be eating" this summer (has anyone tried them?). This time, Waitrose reckons you'll all be making 'pineberry pavlovas' and 'pineberry punch' for the five weeks they're in season, so we thought we'd give them a bit of a try.

Weekend's food editor, Bob Granleese, never one to hold back, was not a fan: "It smells like a strawberry." Bite. "It tastes like ... water." Pause. "With sweetener in it." Pause. "It's disgusting." I went next, immediately pulling a lemon sucking face at the sharpness of the albino fruit which I can only describe as "nippy". Jay Rayner was similarly unimpressed: "Basically, it's an unripe strawberry. Just because it can be sold doesn't mean it should". And devoted food lover Rachel Dixon was quite taken aback: "What the hell? It's a raspberry. No. Strawberry." Nibble. "Um." Pause. Grimace. "Whoa". Pause. "So it's some kind of freakish strawberry that doesn't taste very nice." Not much endorsement so far.

Away from the food desk there was a slightly more positive reaction. Slightly. Reactions included "looks bad, tastes OK", a non-committal "I don't hate it", the diplomatic "I wouldn't substitute it for a strawberry but it's a nice addition to the berry family" and even "I think they're lovely". The weird overly sweet smell reminded one colleague of the cheap processed strawberry perfumes that children love. "Style over substance" was her verdict.

In a way, you've got to admire the PR effort. It's a strawberry! But it tastes like a pineapple! It's a pineberry! They've played a blinder here - a freakish-sounding fruit that takes a pretty picture is always a winner for press coverage, as we all know. They've got the print inches in the usual places, they've got us covering them (albeit in an annoyingly sneery way); hell, they've even got conspiracy theories springing up with a Wikipedia page questioning whether the whole thing's an April Fool due to the fact that an internet design and SEO company also called Pineberry published several new websites just before the launch of the new fruit.

Back in the real world, there have been a number of white strawberry varieties around for hundreds of years. This is one of them. It doesn't taste anything like a pineapple, it tastes like a sharp - and quite unpleasant - strawberry.

Overall verdict: not as bad as Waitrose's memorable but truly awful strawberry and cream sausage from last year but really not very nice at all.

Waitrose, as supermarkets go, you're not bad. But please - it's time to leave the berries be.