I don’t know why but the PS3

Simply doesn’t gel with me.

Why does it give me a tiny trophy,

For killing a single enemy?

It’s good for watching BBC,

And shows I’ve missed on 4OD,

10 episodes of ‘Come Dine With Me’,

But the PS3 doesn’t gel with me.

It will upscale your DVD,

To glorious 720P,

And it can stream files from your PC.

But even with games like Yakuza 3,

The PS3 doesn’t gel with me.

I would have thought that the Blu-ray ,

And all the films it lets me play,

Would force my loyalties to sway,

But I haven’t put my 360 away.

It comes all too frequently to mind,

The Cross Media Bar is badly designed,

And the six axis control is very unkind,

And seldom accurately aligned.

And all I wanted it to do ,

Was let me play games from the PS2.

And chat to my friends while playing a game,

Not in a ‘PlayStation Home’, that’s lame!

“Not enough memory” causes me rage,

It once was QI, now a blank page!

So what the heck does all this mean?

I have a 320 gig machine!

But the most annoying thing by far,

Is the constant updates on the download bar.

It’s the things the black box won’t do for me,

Which is why I don’t gel with my PS3.