They say the best revenge is living well. Sure it’s easy to say, but when we are in that situation ourselves, it somehow just doesn’t seem like enough. Doesn’t he deserve a slap in the face? Doesn’t he deserve our spiteful, hate filled words? Shouldn’t he at least be as miserable as he made you? Imagine for a moment that you are in his position.

There was somebody you cared for. Maybe you were in a relationship, maybe you were casually seeing each other or maybe just great friends. But one day you decide that this person doesn’t have a place in your life anymore. You no longer need or want them to be around you all the time, so things come to an end.

Now imagine they spit the very same venomous words at you that you so very desperately want to throw at him. They cry, they yell, they hit and they just generally act like a spoilt child not getting their own way. Does it make you hurt? Or does it make you pity them? Does it make you wish you still had them in your life, or does it make you realize why you got rid of this crazy, jealous bitch in the first place? Once you choose to take this approach there is no turning back. You will forever become that psycho ex girlfriend that he and his mates take great pleasure in making fun of. Do you really want to be the subject of his jokes? After all of the things he has put you through do you really need to help him by giving him extra ammunition to hurt you? Or do you need him to regret the choices he made, to wish he could still have you and to know he made a mistake?

Now imagine instead of this person throwing a tantrum by projecting their anger and trying to hurt you, it suddenly seems as though you never existed to them. They seem to be living their life happy and free as if nothing ever happened. You start to ask yourself if maybe somebody else is making them happy in a way that you never could. You start to wonder if you had of stayed with them would you be sharing in that luminous enjoyment and on top of the world freedom they seem to be experiencing without you. Would this hurt to see them move on so quickly, as though they are the one who doesn’t need you anymore? Suddenly the tables are turned. When you take this alternate approach you take back everything that he took from you. He took your happiness, your self-worth and your power? You take it back plus some extra. You show him that you don’t need him anymore than you need those raisins in what you thought was your chocolate chip muffin.

In the process of this split you lost him, and that’s something you can never change. Don’t let him make you lose yourself too. Don’t lose everything you know you are by becoming that typical girl, crying into your ice cream and watching Romeo and Juliet in the love story you’ll never have. Find yourself in a way you never did when you were with him, enjoy every moment of freedom you have not just because it makes him want you back but because you know you deserve it.