Nelly Furtado is back! Exciting!

Six years since her absolutely amazing 2006 English effort Loose, the multilingual Canadian crooner returns with “Big Hoops (Bigger the Better),” the first single from her upcoming (and oft-delayed) 2012 record, The Spirit Indestructible. (Not to be confused with Lindsay Lohan‘s lost third record, the holy grail known as Spirit In The Dark.)

And now, the tea: When I got the chance to preview the Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins-produced track in full last week, I was not too enthused. The song felt whiny, irritating and much less exciting than anything off of Loose. A buzz single at best.

It’s been over a week now. I’ve had a chance to mull it over and…well, I still think it’s thoroughly meh. There are bits that are stuck in my brain, though! They include:

1.) “Thebiggathebettathebiggathebettathebettathebigga.”

2.) “I can go fast! I can go slow!”

3.) “Everybody say he-e-e-e-y. They’re going at it all ni-i-ight and day.”

4.) “Like that, like that, like that…”

Also, the final few seconds of the track are a treat, as the song cuts into its crashing drum ‘n’ bass breakdown (a la Björk‘s “Crystalline”). That’s fun.

I don’t know! I appreciate the effort to navigate away from Guetta Top 40 dance land, but I just don’t think the song is anywhere near as thrilling as “Maneater,” “Promiscuous” or “Say It Right” (oh God, I love “Say It Right” so much). The beat’s sexy, but overall, it’s fine. Just fine–nothing more. A grower not a shower, mayhaps?

Watch for the stilted video clip, which was shot in L.A. earlier this month, to hit the web soon.

Now please stop yelling at me on Twitter for feeling ambivalent about this song, Furtado fans.

Stream courtesy of Jon Ali’s Blog!

“Big Hoops (Bigger the Better)” will be released on April 17. (iTunes)