Welcome to the first Kpopalypse roundup of 2020! Let’s check out some new releases!

Momoland – Thumbs Up

For those of you wondering if Momoland’s last-minute 2019 entry just missed out on list inclusion but will be featured in 2020 somewhere, the answer is “thumbs down”.

Nell – All This Fxxking Time

They might be rocking a little more than usual here, but the real proof that Nell aren’t a real rock band is that they can’t pass the Super 55 test. Nobody’s fooled by those glowing amplifiers.

Uza&Shane – Kisscuse Me

The good thing about having a retro concept is that you can use old cheap camera equipment and it doesn’t look stupid.

Exid – Bad Girl For You

I thought they split up, but I guess what they really did was just dumped the markets that don’t matter.

TST – Count Down

This is about as weird as I’ve heard crappy Korean R&B pop get lately. I support them trying to mix it up a little, but why not save experimentation like this for a genre that is actually worth bothering with in the first place.

Dongkiz – All I Need Is You

Instead of copying boring 80s theme songs, they’re just gone back to being generically awful.

Simba Zawadi ft. DJ Kendrickx – Anti-Hype

A good try, pity it saves the best rhythm for the last five seconds.

Giriboy ft. Yunhway – What’s Wrong

I think we all know what’s wrong.

Stray Kids – Gone Days

After a quality 2019 Stray Kids are back to doing stupid trap-pop and promoting furries.

Iris – Love Game

Kind of a little like Eyedi’s “& New” if you replaced all the really good instrumentation that song had with the same generic crap everybody always does.

msftz – 2080

Looks like in 2080 we’ll have cracked the secret to space stations and interstellar travel but effective lip balm will remain elusive technology.

Sorn ft. Edward Avila – Cater 2 U

While I’ve always maintained healthy cynicism about CLC’s “pro-woman” facade, Sorn singing “I’ll keep my figure right” on a song called “Cater 2 U” featuring noted fat-shamer Edward Aliva is a low point for k-pop that even I didn’t think was possible.

MCND – Top Gang

Oh dear.

N.Flying – It’s Okay

Typical soft rock nonsense but the video where the N.flying boys travel through dimensions to help a random girl with her homework or something is kinda cool fanfiction material. That’s one way to get a fanbase.

Crush ft. Zion.T – Nighty Night

That dog is falling asleep and so am I.

M.O.N.T – Tired

Why are you shooting a video in Germany, isn’t Korea good enough for you? The standards for nationalism are low.

Yoyomi – If You Love Me

Yoyomi’s trot sounds different to most trot and her leery straight-to-camera performance videos are the cheapest and perviest in k-pop.

Vinci – Can’t Erace

Dude that guy pouring corn syrup on your face was a hint that we didn’t want to hear you sing.

MC Sniper – Your Voice

It’s depressing when anyone does crap like this, but even more so when it’s a veteran who should know better.

Baek Z Young – No Love, No Heartbreak

I deleted a ton of the submissions that I got for roundup this week, easily over 75%, because fuck it I just don’t have the time to wade through crap, plus I’m keen to draw a line under 2019. In retrospect I have no idea why I left this one in.

Layone ft. Ash-B – Love Paradox

Remember that girl Ash-B from years back? No I didn’t think so. Anyway she sucks now.

Loopy – No Fear

The worst thing about Autotune isn’t all the singers faking it, but all the rappers trying to be singers.

Nafla – Merlot

She shot him but somehow he keeps rapping. Our worst nightmare.

Laysha – Freedom

Basically just an ad for underwear. I calmly accept.

BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK

AOA Jimin Q&A for Allure

The only original member of AOA answers some questions. “My dream was to become a rocker” – YES WE KNOW. YOU CAN STILL LIVE THAT DREAM. DO IT. DO IT LIKE ROCKIT GIRL.

That’s all for this week’s roundup, more next week!