Tao, formerly a member of EXO, surprised fans by opening up about his stress and struggles of living a celebrity’s life.

The Chinese singer-songwriter, who has been pursuing a solo career in China since departing the group in 2015, shared a lengthy letter via his Weibo account on Thursday night, where he talked mainly about his heavy workload and stress.

He said, “I’m doing what I should do every day, but to be honest, I don’t want to do anything right now. I can’t attend a meeting at my company, go home, enjoy a holiday, and don’t know what date it is today. Stress is torturing me.”

“I’ve never shown this kind of negative letter to you (fans), but the truth is, I want to disappear for a while and not do anything. It’s my first time to share my honest feelings in six years. Some may say that I will have to endure such things as a celebrity. Maybe I’ve accepted too many things, the reason I’m writing this today. I don’t know what happened.”

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He wrapped up the letter by saying his life was like hell and that he wasn’t living a happy life as fans think.

“Sorry to have worried you, and I feel more sorry to myself.”

It has been reported that Tao’s father and fans have been commenting encouraging messages to his letter.

Having debuted as a member of EXO in 2011, Tao filed a lawsuit against S.M. Entertainment due to conflicts revolving his contract issues and left the group in 2015.

He has been promoting in China as a soloist ever since under his own Chinese agency Z.TAO Studio.