The nation’s popular News entertainment channel, Times Now, received a major jolt yesterday, after its editor-in-chief Arnab Goswami, was hospitalized after being diagnosed with normal blood pressure. A team of doctors, headed by Dr.Trehan, attending on the nation’s collective voice said that Goswami’s blood pressure had plunged to 120/80, which is the human normal blood pressure reading, but an unusual low for Goswami.

“Arnab visited us late in the night yesterday and complained of uneasiness – he said that he was feeling unusually calm, relaxed and soothed. That caused him to panic and he immediately called on me. I measured his blood pressure and it was 120/80 which is way below his normal of 190/100. He’s in our special ward right now and we’re trying to resuscitate him by making him watch a compilation of the most ridiculous statements of Sanjay Jha, Zafar Hilaly, Syed Tariq Pirzada and so on. Those statements, along with a crate of Redbull cans, should make him recover in a flash and he should be discharged by tomorrow,” Dr.Trehan told The UnReal Times.

“I’ve advised him to be careful and not to slip into these rare moments of peace and calm, as those would be detrimental to him. If ever his blood pressure goes as low as 100/70, he could end up in an extremely critical condition. It’s for this reason that he’s not inviting panelists like The Ashutosh to The Newshour these days. That day, when The Ashu accused Sambit Patra of “filibusting” the debate, Arnab broke into an uproarious laughter. Fortunately after that, there was something ridiculous for him to outrage on and his blood pressure shot right back to 190/100. For the same reason, I’ve advised him to stop reading The UnReal Times also, for a few days,” Dr.Trehan added.

Sources added that Congress leader Abhijit Mukherjee has already been put on alert, to be used as a foolproof resuscitator in future, when Arnab’s blood pressure goes really low. “Abhijit Mukherjee is the last resort. Only he can save Arnab if we also fail,” Dr.Trehan signed off.

Meanwhile, after advising Delhi CM Arvind Kejriwal, PM Narendra Modi called up Goswami too, on the telephone, inquiring about his health and advising him to undergo “furiopathy” treatment, with his party leaders like Sakshi Maharaj and Sadhvi Prachi. “Each time I speak to them, they’ve never failed to rile me up and make me feel like shattering the window panes with a scream. Try them, they should be able to help you too, just by their sheer ridiculousness,” PM Modi reportedly told Goswami.