1. Los Angeles Kings

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 8-4-3 +7 1

The Kings were $160 dollars of cap space short of icing a sixth defenseman this weekend. When you can't find an extra in Los Angeles, you've got a problem.

2. Chicago Blackhawks

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 8-6-1 +13 2

Marian Hossa hit 1,000 points this week, remains an elite player, and is basically the NHL version of Mario in a Super Mario-brand party game. He's fast enough to skate around the Bowsers and big enough to out-muscle the Yoshis.

3. Tampa Bay Lightning

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 11-3-1 +17 3

The Lightning have won six in a row and at some point in the next month will welcome a Norris Trophy-caliber, 6-foot-5 defenseman back into the lineup. Thanks for showing up, rest of the Eastern Conference.

4. St. Louis Blues

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 9-4-1 +7 4

In the time it took you to read this sentence Vladimir Tarasenko scored two more goals, one of them a goal of the year contender.

Great action shot of Vladimir Tarasenko this week: pic.twitter.com/Wt69stqZnN — The Canadian Game (@ItsCanadasGame) November 7, 2014

5. Pittsburgh Penguins

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 10-2-1 +28 6

Marc-Andre Fleury isn't the only entity to capitalize on something that was good in 2009. Catch the sixth season of Community exclusively on Yahoo this winter!

6. Anaheim Ducks

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 10-3-3 +9 5

Jason Labarbera is still starting games in the NHL, which proves that time is a flat circle. Also a flat circle: Ryan Getzlaf's cranium.

spent the whole day working on perfecting silhouettes of Ryan Getzlaf's head pic.twitter.com/cna2Kz0t2M — Gráinne (@wholegrainne) November 3, 2014

7. Boston Bruins

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 9-6-0 +8 9

The Bruins are reportedly interested in acquiring a defenseman, ideally a right-handed shooter who can capably hold down a first-pairing role on a good team. Garth Snow knows just the guy.

8. Minnesota Wild

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 7-6-0 +8 7

Busy couple of weeks for the NHL Player Safety Department. Watch for Stephane Quintal's parody video called 'Too Many Cookes'.

(Courtesy: SlashGear)

9. New York Islanders

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 9-5-0 E 11

The New York Islanders are legitimately good, but they could still use some work on their hashtag game (#ThatsSoDanish? Really?).

Not to mention their intermission interview segment game:

If I'm the Islanders' broadcast team, I'm just interviewing Calvin de Haan after every game and calling the segment 'Talk to de Haan'. — Luke Lapinski (@LukeLapinski) November 9, 2014

10. San Jose Sharks

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 8-6-2 +4 8

From major junior to the NHL to the hectic world of corporate finance, it's been a roller coaster season for Sharks forward Barclay Goodrow - the man with the best name in hockey:

Barclay Goodrow is a junior accountant at Brookbank & Brookbank — Giblet Misconduct (@GeekMisconduct) November 10, 2014

11. Montreal Canadiens

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 10-4-1 -5 10

Some men were born to float:

If Rene Bourque could take every shift in one of those lazy river inner tubes I think he would — CT (@HockeenightsCT) November 5, 2014

12. New Jersey Devils

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 6-6-2 -7 12

Here's a photograph of a much younger Jaromir Jagr napping on a bench with his mom.

(Courtesy: @NHLhistorygirl)

Presumably he was dreaming of outrageous, spinning feeds:

13. Washington Capitals

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 6-5-3 +3 14

Capitals goaltender Braden Holtby was given the 'Honest Abe hat' following his club's 3-2 victory over the Blackhawks this weekend.

Braden Holtby with the Honest Abe hat after #Caps 3-2 win over the Blackhawks. pic.twitter.com/N9RBGQbicl — dckerwin (@dckerwin) November 8, 2014

It was especially fitting since Holtby's stellar performance broke a three-game streak of four score starts.

14. Detroit Red Wings

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 7-3-5 +3 15

The Detroit Red Wings are pretty imposing for a club with a well-below-average defense corps. Even their fans are upping their games:

GIF: Red Wings fan executes brilliant photobomb/taunt after game-tying goal in New York http://t.co/l4v4ybcujX — Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) November 6, 2014

It would seem that the photobomb skills of Red Wings fans have come a long way in the past few years.

15. Nashville Predators

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 9-3-2 +7 16

At some point Nashville's stable of diminutive centers might get exposed against tough Western Conference opponents. Until then, maybe the excel set can stop arguing that Mark Giordano is better than Shea Weber.

This is a momentous day…Shea Weber has a positive Corsi rating again — Sam Page (@samtpage) November 3, 2014

16. Dallas Stars

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 4-6-4 -10 13

This week Stars captain Jamie Benn made headlines by interviewing teammate Tyler Seguin for ESPN. His first question should've been: "Hey, so, can you play the point?"

17. Vancouver Canucks

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 11-5-0 +5 17

This weekend Wayne Gretzky opined that Ryan Miller might be the best free agent signing of the salary cap era. No, really:

Gretzky: "Miller might be the best signing in the last 15 years." Oh. — Mike Martignago (@MikeMartignago) November 9, 2014

There's a reason Gretzky's office was located behind the net rather than in the slot, since he's clearly unfit to operate out of a front office.

18. New York Rangers

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 6-6-2 -7 18

Rangers assistant coach Ulf Samuelsson was upset and "embarrassed" by his club's feckless outing on Sunday against the Edmonton Oilers. In unrelated news, every Rangers player has now sustained a severe knee injury.

19. Toronto Maple Leafs

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 8-5-2 +5 20

Maple Leafs fans love to post screen caps of the NHL standings when the team is doing well early in the season, but I haven't seen a single facebook status update on the club's solid +5 goal differential - the fourth-best mark in the East.

20. Arizona Coyotes

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 6-7-1 -13 22

If the Coyotes hope to claw their way back into the thick of it, goaltender Mike Smith is going to have to get past his early-season struggles and shake it off.

Conveniently, Taylor Swift is playing two dates at the Gila River Casino Arena in Glendale, Ariz. this month.

21. Philadelphia Flyers

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 7-5-2 +2 24

This week, we learned that Michael Del Zotto gets undressed much more often on the ice than off of it.

22. Ottawa Senators

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 7-4-3 +4 23

The only thing standing between Chris Phillips and the all-time Ottawa games played record is prime minister Stephen Harper, who has been demanding term limits for Senators for years.

23. Florida Panthers

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 4-4-4 -10 21

On a serious note: NHL referee Dan O'Rourke deserves daps for calling out Panthers forward Jussi Jokinen's embellishment on Sunday without resorting to the typical half-measure of also doling out a coincidental minor to Flames defender T.J. Brodie.

The Panthers didn't like it, but this should happen way more often.

24. Columbus Blue Jackets

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 4-9-1 -15 19

As if the injuries haven't been hard enough on Jarmo Kekalainen, he recently learned that IKEA doesn't print their instructions in Finnish.

25. Edmonton Oilers

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 6-8-1 -13 25

The Oilers are giving new meaning to the term western alienation.

Oilers are now 6-2 against the East and 0-6-1 against the West. They'd have probably been to a Cup Final by now if they played in the Metro. — Fear The Fin (@fearthefin) November 10, 2014

26. Calgary Flames

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 9-5-2 +8 27

The Flames lead the league in pluck, minus the p. Also, they lead all Canadian teams in "getting brutally outshot consistently."

Alright, maybe we'll do this all year. pic.twitter.com/OXCYgUC7TP — Travis Yost (@TravisHeHateMe) November 6, 2014

27. Winnipeg Jets

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 8-5-2 -2 28

Some teams can outperform weak underlying numbers thanks to stellar goaltending. Long term, the Jets aren't one of those teams.

28. Colorado Avalanche

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 4-7-5 -10 26

The things the Avalanche do well result in a 41.1 percent Score Tied Corsi For percentage.

29. Carolina Hurricanes

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 4-6-3 -12 29

The Carolina Hurricanes called up a defenseman named Michal Jordan on Monday, which should work out well, so long as he isn't called upon to run the Hornets.

30. Buffalo Sabres

Record Goal Differential Previous Rank 3-11-2 -34 30

In an attempt to give a more honest effort, the Sabres will wear throwback Washington Generals jerseys the next time they face the Penguins.