82 per cent of Kiwi women have been sexually harassed or assaulted

Sexual abuse is a constant presence in Wellington student Sarah*'s life.

"I've lost count of the number of times I have been cat called on the street and touched inappropriately at bars. One particular one that stands out was when a guy reached his hand up my dress and grabbed my arse. I felt so uncomfortable and so angry that he felt he had a right to do that."

She is not the only one.

A new survey found that 82 per cent of Kiwi women have been victim to either sexual violence or harassment, with two thirds of those revealing the abuse was of a physically aggressive nature.

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Bauer Media polled a representative sample of 1,025 New Zealand women and the results appeared in Next magazine on Monday.

The survey found that 66 per cent of the women were under the age of 18 when they first encountered sexual abuse and 16 per cent were aged 10 and under.



The types of harm experienced included being purposely touched in an unwelcome sexual way (59 per cent), sexually assaulted (28 per cent), being followed (around a quarter of the women) and having someone "flashing" – exposing their genitals – without their permission (20 per cent).



Four in five women had experienced physically aggressive sexual harassment or abuse in public spaces such as parks, bars, and public transport. Just over a quarter of women said their harassment happened at school.

When asked how often physically aggressive sexual harassment had taken place, 11 per cent of women said there had been "too many incidents to mention".

Well over a third of Kiwi women (38 per cent) affected felt anxiety or depression due to what happened, 12 per cent quit working or sought a new job as a result, and 12 per cent sought medical help, including mental health counselling. One in five feel they were held back or disadvantaged by the experience.

With the #MeToo movement continuing to grow in strength more than a year on, Next's survey shows New Zealand's problems are on a par with other countries – a similar US study found 81 per cent of American women have experienced sexual harassment or assault. The Australian Human Rights Commission puts the figure at 85 per cent.

Sarah says women are often blamed for what happens to them.

"Because apparently as soon as you mix men and alcohol, you should come to expect it."

The 23-year-old always has "a sense of paranoia" every time she walks somewhere alone, even if it's during daylight.

STUFF A new survey shows sexual harassment and assault is 'ubiquitous' in Kiwi women's lives.

"I am aways on edge when I'm out, just waiting for the next guy to grab my arse like a piece of meat."

'SHOCKING' RESULTS

Academic Paulette Benton-Greig, of the University of Waikato's law school, has worked as an advocate for victims of sexual violence and researched the topic for several years but still, she is "pretty shocked at the result".

Often, research looks at sexual harassment and sexual violence separately but this survey takes a broader view, revealing "how ubiquitous sexual coercion and unwanted sexual behaviours are in women's lives".

"It all adds up. It happens at work, in the home, at bars and in public. Most women experience it and it starts young too."

She is concerned at the high number of women who had experienced anxiety and depression, changed their jobs or sought medical help.

"It is serious indicator that sexual violence and harassment are a form of discrimination in women's lives. It's stopping them from living the life that they would have led."

The figures also show there are "a lot of men behaving in unwelcome and unwarranted ways".

"There will be a whole range - from unintended, accepted heterosexual male behaviours to people who are predating on women and there will be a range in between. We need to think about how we change that."

The criminal justice system is only ever going to catch a certain amount of the predation end of the spectrum, so prevention work is crucial, she says.

FEELING DIRTY AND ASHAMED

Christchurch mother of two and writer Anna* says she still feels dirty and ashamed years after she experienced sexual harm.

At age 16, she was going out with a 21-year-old guy. She had had sex with him once and decided she "wasn't into that" so refused his advances a week later.

"I said 'no I don't want to sleep with you' and he kept insisting and I kept saying no and I knew his parents were in their beds at the other end of the house, asleep, so I could have yelled to them but then I thought: 'he is my boyfriend'. I'd had a few drinks so I was more vulnerable. I just caved.

"I told my girlfriend the next day and she said: 'Oh it's your boyfriend, what's the problem?

"But it didn't feel OK then and to this day it doesn't feel OK. "

123rf 82 per cent of the women surveyed said they had experienced sexual harassment and violence.

At age 21, Anna went out drinking with a group of male friends, including one she had known for years, so she felt safe.

​Around 2am everyone caught a taxi to get back to her friend's house but she ended up with two men she didn't know. They said they wanted to quickly drop by their place to pick up something before going to Anna's friend's house. When the taxi stopped, they asked Anna to come with them. They would call another taxi.

"We got inside and they convinced me that I should have sex with both of them. I was very uncomfortable and said I wanted to go to my friend's house. I was drunk and felt vulnerable and I was scared that if I said no they would rape me anyway. I didn't know where I was, I didn't know their names and I felt stupid that I'd put myself in this situation again.

When she finally arrived at her friend's place, she told him what happened and he said he was sorry but "at the end of the day you were drunk".

"It was swept under the carpet and I didn't tell anyone else and felt embarrassed about it."

Since then, Anna has never gone out without other girlfriends and she now wants to educate her daughter so it doesn't happen to her.

"I am teaching her that she is the absolute boss of her body and it's hers to do what she wants with it. She can say yes or no and that's OK. Even if you have been drinking you still have a right to say no."

IT IS AROUND US EVERY DAY

​Auckland Sexual Abuse HELP executive director and clinical psychologist Kathryn McPhillips says sexual harassment "is around us every day".

Victoria University Students’ Association launched #MeToo blog earlier this year.

"We have come to this point that women accept that if they go to a bar there will be someone harassing them.

"Men and women need to step up and say it's not OK when they see it happening because it's quite hard when you are at the receiving end of it and you get further abuse when you say something because you don't enjoy being harassed."

Sexual assault and rape survivors can be traumatised and more sensitive to smaller acts of sexual harassment: "It's like walking around with an open wound and it makes it really hard to recover when you walk through this world of constant harassment".

The finding that just over a quarter of women have been harassed at school is in line with the work HELP is doing with Auckland high schools where levels of sexual harassment are "outrageous".

Girls, non binary children and to a lesser degree boys, are being sexually harassed both physically and on social media.

Schools need to step up and provide sexual education and healthy relationship programmes as well as school policies featuring consequences for those who harass students.

Parents need to teach their children to have respectful relationships at home, too.

'GENDER VIOLENCE CRISIS'

A new Education Review Office report found New Zealand students are being let down at school by a lack of education around consent, pornography and sexual violence.

Māori and Pacific students are worse off, as are students with additional needs and students who are sex-, gender or sexuality-diverse.

Green MP Jan Logie, the under-secretary to the Justice Minister in charge of domestic and sexual violence issues, agrees sex education has to be part of the answer to the current "gender violence crisis" in New Zealand

It is "shocking how inadequate sex ed is in many, if not most schools".

She says the survey results are "sadly consistent with other research".

Earlier this year, the United Nations admonished the New Zealand Government and recommended it made sexual harassment policies mandatory for all workplaces, with clear processes to ensure complaints were investigated and perpetrators penalised.

Advocates have said there needed the be a nationwide sexual harassment strategy, with a central agency – such as WorkSafe – confidentially investigating complaints, providing support to victims, and conducting training.

Logie says the Government is still analysing options to tackle sexual harassment in the workplace but is not giving more details or a timeframe around any potential action.

"It's very clear that our current systems are not working for preventing sexual harassment in the workplace and giving people the confidence to report it.

"I absolutely agree that it's been taking us too long... This government is taking this seriously, it is a priority."

*Not their real names.

WANT TO SEEK HELP? See here for a list of sexual assault support centres or here for advice on how to contact police.