Chris Evans just came for ‘Straight Pride’ in the most perfect way

Straight Pride.

It’s the topic on everyone’s lips. Riiiight before they start laughing hysterically at the sheer absurdity of it all.

It all started when the city of Boston issued a permit for a “straight pride” parade later this summer, and it’s led to some pretty amazing responses online.

The website for the proposed event reads:

“Straight people are an oppressed majority. We will fight for the right of straights everywhere to express pride in themselves without fear of judgment and hate. We want the same parade route as the Boston Pride Parade [and] the same accommodations given for the LGBTQ+ parade.”

Related: Meet the gay guy behind the effort to bring “Straight Pride” to Boston

There were tweets, of course, so many tweets. And one from Eva Victor objectively won that game.

But in the less-comical-but-still-somehow-deeply-funny-slash-tragic category, Captain America himself, Chris Evans, had a pretty pitch-perfect takedown of the whole charade.

The actor and older brother of out actor Scott Evans wrote:

“Wow! Cool initiative, fellas!! Just a thought, instead of ‘Straight Pride’ parade, how about this: The ‘desperately trying to bury our own gay thoughts by being homophobic because no one taught us how to access our emotions as children’ parade? Whatta ya think? Too on the nose??”

Wow! Cool initiative, fellas!! Just a thought, instead of ‘Straight Pride’ parade, how about this: The ‘desperately trying to bury our own gay thoughts by being homophobic because no one taught us how to access our emotions as children’ parade? Whatta ya think? Too on the nose?? https://t.co/gaBWtq2PaL — Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) June 5, 2019

In another tweet responding to a straight ally criticizing the event, Evans wrote:

“Wow, the number gay/straight pride parade false equivalencies are disappointing. For those who don’t understand the difference, see below. Instead of going immediately to anger(which is actually just fear of what you don’t understand)take a moment to search for empathy and growth.”

Wow, the number gay/straight pride parade false equivalencies are disappointing. For those who don’t understand the difference, see below. Instead of going immediately to anger(which is actually just fear of what you don’t understand)take a moment to search for empathy and growth https://t.co/e98K0Z150T — Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) June 5, 2019

And just for good measure, here’s how activist and author Dylan Marron responded to this moment in warped reality:

happy heterosexual pride day pic.twitter.com/PCGKNnhu76 — Dylan Marron (@dylanmarron) June 5, 2019

Dan Tracer is a queer writer, noisemaker, and amateur astral projector. Find him on Instagram.