http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InsaneTrollLogic

Someone is off his medication.

Bedevere: So, logically...

Peasant: If... She... Weighs... The same as a duck... She's made of wood.

Bedevere: And therefore...?

[Beat]

Another Peasant: ... A witch!

Crowd: A witch! A witch! A witch!!

Witch: It's a fair cop. Monty Python and the Holy Grail So, logically...If... She... Weighs... The same as a duck... She's made of wood.And therefore...?[Beat]... A witch!A witch! A witch! A witch!!It's a fair cop.

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Insane Troll Logic is the kind of logic that just can't be argued with because it's so demented, so lost in its own insanity, that any attempts to make it rational would make it more incomprehensible . It is logic failure that crosses over into parody or Poe's Law. A character thinks in such a blatantly illogical manner that it has to be deliberate on the part of the writer.

For examples of Insane Troll Logic by video game developers, see You Can't Get Ye Flask, Moon Logic Puzzle, and (extreme examples of) Guide Dang It!.

For examples of characters who engage in this, see The Ditz, Cloudcuckoolander, Strawmen, Moral Guardians, and of course trolls of both internet and mythological origin. A character will tend to use this when he thinks he is smarter than he really is. For when the Insane Troll Logic leads to a true conclusion, see Bat Deduction and Right for the Wrong Reasons. If this trope is exaggerated beyond the point that it even makes grammatical sense, it can become a Word Salad Philosophy. If reality actually follows the troll logic, then the normal rules aren't in effect; Reality Is Out to Lunch. Irrational Hatred may have this as its basis, and Chewbacca Defense is literally built of it. And then, sometimes it's just Obfuscating Stupidity or Obfuscating Insanity in action. No relation to Insane Clown Posse...for the most part.

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Remember that not all bad or faulty logic is Insane Troll Logic. Insane Troll Logic is so badly screwed up that it isn't even wrong - usually either the presenter or the audience have no grasp of even the concept where the "logic" should apply.

A character consumed by this trope tends to say things along the lines of "Because I say it is!" or "You're a liar!"

(Note that, in order to qualify for this trope, some reasoning must be provided; for example, "He likes sweets, thus he is a Nazi" on its own probably doesn't qualify for this trope, but "He likes sweets, thus, he likes Danishes, and if he likes Danishes, he must be a German, and as we know, all Germans are Nazis" probably does, since it provides more "logic" and context. The latter is otherwise known as the Fallacy of Composition.)

Warning: trying to understand the following trains of logic may make your brain hurt.

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No Real Life Examples, Please! Disagreements may cause flame wars. Those very flame wars will happen on this website if started, therefore TV Tropes' servers might catch on fire and may get damaged, and spread to the rest of the internet via gravity. It's physics. These flame wars will be the depth of the Internet — not DEATH, but they are similar concepts because they're similarly pronounced. Furthermore, many computers are connected to those servers and they might catch on fire, too. Ergo, fire is bad. So, remember to always douse your computer with water when under a disagreement.

Seriously, though - no real-life examples. Not to be confused with Violation of Common Sense.

Intentional examples:

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Comic Books

Comic Strips

Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes loves this type of logic. When he's doing a report on bats, he classifies them as bugs because they fly, they're ugly, and they're hairy. He also says he'll get an A on his paper because he's using a "professional" clear plastic binder. Calvin also protests going to school because if ignorance is bliss, then his education is a violation of his right to the pursuit of happiness. He puts on a patriotic, American Revolution-esque shtick, and when his teacher chases him as he tries to leave the classroom, he yells "Monarchists!"

FoxTrot: In one strip, after Roger spends part of his and Andy's bank account to buy a very expensive driver without her permission, he tries to convince his understandably furious wife that it can actually help them save money. (And only succeeds in making her angrier.): Roger: It has an extra-large sweet spot that can help correct my slice. Andy: And that will save us money how? Roger: Remember the lawyer I almost beaned last time? Andy: He only threatened to sue. Roger: Then there are the buckets of balls I lose each time... Andy: You know, you could You know, you could just stop playing!! In another strip, Roger - again - needs an antacid because he got sick to his stomach having lunch at a place called the Mucky Clam. Andy asks him why he'd even eat there, as he always gets sick when he does. Roger says it was because they had an all-you-can-eat special.

Dilbert: In This early strip: Dilbert: Reading increases my knowledge, and knowledge is power.

Dogbert: But power corrupts... and corruption is a crime... and crime doesn't pay... if you keep reading, you'll go broke!!!

Dilbert: Gosh! It... it always seemed so harmless!

Dogbert: Oh yeah, the librarians would love to have you believe that! Another Dilbert story arc introduced Dan the Illogical Scientist, who was a practiced hand at this sort of thing. Dan: I'm much smarter than you because scientists have invented many things.

Dilbert: But those are other scientists, not you.

Dan: Apparently you don't understand science.

...

Dan: That idea won't work. I know because I've read many reports about ideas that didn't work.

Alice: You haven't even looked at my idea.

Dan: Oh, I get it; you're one of those religious nuts. The Pointy-Haired Boss uses insane troll logic on several occasions. On one occasion, one of these hell-spawned managerial decisions causes Dilbert's head to explode. Exploited in this Dilbert strip Dogbert : The great thing about absurd logic is that it fits any situation.

Pearls Before Swine featured Rat wearing a hat that he claimed made him immortal. His logic was that he wore it and he hadn't died yet.

In a Peanuts strip, Lucy is interviewing the cast at the sandlot for a school newspaper article on violence in sports: Lucy: A judge recently described a hockey stick as a "dangerous weapon", do you agree? Franklin: In all my years of playing baseball, I have never once been hit by a hockey stick! Lucy: There's another for my list of stupid answers...

Pogo does this constantly. For example, when Albert is on trial for allegedly eating Pup-Dog, Seminole Sam produces a fish skeleton as evidence, arguing that Pup-Dog was so fond of water he was "jus' like a fish." Porkypine refutes him by pointing out that it's a catfish skeleton. Often, the characters would attempt to outwit each other, each using their own Insane Troll Logic. The results were... frequently astonishing. Howland Owl: Seminole Sam's hair tonic growed hair on me! Why you so worried about that watermelon? Albert: Poor watermelon din't grow hair. She'll catch cold! Seminole Sam (listening to the melon): Worse than I thought! The melon has no pulse! Albert: Mebbe it's holdin' its breath?

Sally Forth (Howard) subverts this trope. Hilary tells Sally that since she told her Christmas was about giving, she took the egg carton out of the fridge and put the eggs in a plastic bag. It turns out to make sense, however, when it's revealed in the next strip that Hilary had used the egg carton to make an ornament for Sally.

One Garfield strip has him speaking to the readers: Garfield: "There are many advantages to being lazy." "There are many advantages to being lazy." (Long Beat Panel) "One being not having to tell you what they are."

Duff in Conchy is prone to this. Upon learning that Jupiter has 12 moons, he points out that Mars has two, Earth has one, and Venus and Mercury have none, and reaches the conclusion that the Sun evaporates moons.

Films — Animated

In The Emperor's New Groove, Yzma uses this as an excuse not to give food to the poor: Yzma : It is no concern of mine whether or not your family has... what was it again?

Peasant : Umm... food?

Yzma : Ha! You really should have thought of that before you became peasants!

In Mickey's Christmas Carol, Scrooge (McDuck) uses this to get out of giving money to the poor. Scrooge : Well, you realize if you give money to the poor, they won't be poor anymore, will they?

First Collector : Well, I—

Scrooge : And if they're not poor anymore, then you won't have to raise money for them anymore.

Second Collector : Well, I suppose—

Scrooge : And if you don't have to raise money for them anymore, then you'd be out of a job. Oh please, gentlemen, don't ask me to put you out of a job. Not on Christmas Eve.

The attendant at the Family Reunion Office in Coco is allergic to Dante, a hairless dog, and keeps sneezing. The attendant, like everyone in the Land of the Dead, is a skeleton and insists that it makes sense that he's allergic to a hairless dog because he doesn't have a nose. Miguel is appropriately bewildered by this response.

Films — Live-Action

Gamebooks

Bowser's scheme in the Nintendo Adventure Book Dinosaur Dilemma. To quote the Super Mario Wiki: Bowser has his minions begin abducting all the dinosaurs in Dinosaur Island, so he can "prove" his theory that the dinosaurs went extinct due to not looking both ways before they crossed the street; once the dinosaurs and all evidence of their existence are gone and his theory is thus "proven" true, Bowser intends to be awarded the Snowbell Prize (feeding the cooked dinosaurs to the committee awarding it) and be named curator of the Mushroom Kingdom Museum of Natural History, conveniently located across the street from Mushroom Palace, which he plans on pelting with garbage.

Jokes

A game magazine once held a contest for the best logical argument based entirely on illogical steps. The winner was proof that there was, in fact, "life after death": After death comes the mourning; after morning comes night; beside the knight is the bishop; the bishop is underneath the pope; the pope has serious convictions; and with serious convictions you get life! (Source: http://danny.sadinoff.com/fun/quotes/choplogic.txt

This is the basis of an entire genre of humor from the '60s and '70s: elephant jokes. For example: Alice: Why do elephants wear green sneakers?

Bob: Why?

Alice: To conceal themselves when they run across pool tables. Did you ever see an elephant run across a pool table?

Bob: No.

Alice: See? It works!

Prove logically that a cat has nine tails. 1. No cat has eight tails.

2. A cat has one more tail than no cat.

3. Therefore, a cat has nine tails. A similar joke asks, "Which is better, eternal happiness or a turkey sandwich?" 1. Nothing is better than eternal happiness.

2. A turkey sandwich is better than nothing.

3. Therefore, a turkey sandwich is better than eternal happiness.

Prove logically that a lazy dog is a sheet of paper. 1. A sheet of paper is an ink-lined plane.

2. An inclined plane is a slope up.

3. A slow pup is a lazy dog.

4. Therefore, a lazy dog is a sheet of paper.

Most examples of a fallacious argument, taken to hilarious extremes as a way of illustrating some issues regarding the steps of logic. For example: 1. All polar bears are left-handed.

2. 10% of burglars are left-handed.

3. Therefore, if you get robbed, there is a 10% chance it was a polar bear.

A popular meme on some gaming websites involves doing some equations and ending up with 3, saying "Half-Life 3 confirmed", since the game is infamous for taking an incredibly long time to be released. A related one is where fans note that all of Valve's games merely have one sequel and never a third game, leading to the meme: "Valve can't count to 3."

Another popular joke involves escaping from a room with no doors, no windows, and only a table note or only a mirror and a table . 1. You look at the table and see what you saw. note With the mirror included, you look in the mirror and see what you saw.

2. You take the saw that you see and cut the table in half.

3. Two halves make a whole.

4. You escape through the hole you just made.

. Prove that school is evil. 1. School is for learning.

2. Learning gives you knowledge.

3. Knowledge is power.

4. Power corrupts.

5. Corruption is evil.

6. Therefore, school is evil.

Prove that girls are evil. 1. Girls require money and time, therefore Girls = Money x Time

2. Time is money, therefore Girls = Money^2

3. Money is the root of evil, therefore Money^2 = evil

4. Therefore, Girls are evil.

Prove that every horse has an infinite number of legs. 1. Horses have an even number of legs.

2. Behind they have two legs and in front they have fore legs.

3. This makes six legs, which is certainly an odd number of legs for a horse.

4. The only number that is both odd and even is infinity. note Infinity isn't a number

5. Therefore horses have an infinite number of legs

From comic Minnie Pearl: "My boyfriend just gave me the highest compliment! He says nothing's better than a pretty girl, and I'm better than nothing."

This Insult Backfire from a feminist after being called a bitch: A bitch is a female dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are part of nature. Nature is beautiful. Thank you for the compliment.

A popular children's gag: Did you know I have eleven fingers? You do? Yes. Watch. (Begin counting backwards on the fingers of one hand.) Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... (Hold up all fingers of the opposite hand.) Plus five is eleven.

Pick up a spider, put it down again and tell it to walk. It will walk. Pick it up again, put it down again and tell it to walk again. It will walk. Pick it up again, pull its legs off, put it down again and tell it to walk. It will stay where it is. This proves that pulling the legs off a spider causes it to go deaf.

Scientists discovered that there is a special nerve that connects human eyes to their bottoms. Proof? When the test subjects were stabbed in the buttocks, they cried. And when the test subjects were stabbed in the eyes, they shat themselves.

A hunter was asked what he did for a living, and he responds that he "hunts tigers in Africa." When it's pointed out that there are no tigers in Africa, he replies "that's because I do my job".

Why are fire trucks red? It's because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight makes twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and there were fish in the seas, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always Russian" around, so that's why fire trucks are red.

Police officer arrests a man sleeping on a park bench with only underwear on. "Why are you sleeping like that?", asks the police officer. "My sexy briefs keep the bats away this town", he says. "Huh? There ain't no bats in this here town", says the officer. "See! My sexy briefs work!" says the man.

Light Novels

Literature

Music

Let There Be Guns by The Arrogant Worms. Worm 1: Nobody ever gets shot, cause everybody have a gun. Worm 2: Makes sense. Everybody: Wouldn't it be great if everybody had a gun?... Also, their "Don't Go Into Politics" concludes that going into politics, science, or music is a bad idea, because so many famous politicians, scientists, and musicians are now dead.

In the song "Bubba Shot the Jukebox" by Country Music singer Mark Chesnutt, the title character gets angered by a song on the jukebox and shoots it. When the cops arrive, this trope occurs: Reckless discharge of a gun, that's what the officer's a-claimin'

Bubba hollered, "Reckless, hell, I hit just where I was aimin'!"

The Lonely Island song "Threw It On The Ground" has a protagonist who's oddly angered by being handed things, and responds by breaking them "on the ground." In one scene of the protagonist at the farmer's market with his "so-called girlfriend", she hands him her cellphone, stating it's his dad. He then throws it on the ground, because his dad's "not a phone! DUH!". In a previous scene, he throws a free hot dog on the ground because "What do I look like, a charity case? (...) I don't need your handouts!"

"1.0 (Fuck No)" by the Moistboyz is a song that rationalizes drinking and driving with lines such as "Why'd you put the bar so far from my home?"

Flanders and Swann, parodying Neo-Luddites and their attitudes, said: "If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us the railways."

Podcasts

Episode five of Mystery Show revolves around the question of Jake Gyllenhaal's exact height, a question prompted by a very divided internet comment thread. In said thread, one commenter notes that Jake must be six-foot-three because he was (allegedly) supposed to play the Joker, who is six-foot-three. Others point out that that doesn't make sense because they can't confirm that the Joker is six-foot-three. Starlee suggests (probably jokingly) that the discrepancy might be why Jake didn't get the part.

Sick Sad World: One episode talks about a man who said aliens were threatening him. This guy later got arrested for child porn and claimed not only did aliens plant it, they also erased a hard drive of his, which police suspected had some incriminating evidence. The hosts point out it doesn't make sense that they would destroy evidence if they wanted him to get in trouble. The same episode has a guy claiming aliens wanted him to be sentenced to death so they could save him at the last minute and prove their existence. Mari and Jasmine point out if the aliens were that powerful, they could easily find another way to prove they are real.



Professional Wrestling

Samoa Joe walked out on Crimson during a tag team match in TNA because Crimson was on an undefeated streak and Joe never needed help during his undefeated streak.

John "Bradshaw" Layfield's rants on supporting the heels have this, one example saying that Daniel Bryan had the nerve to reject the The Wyatt Family even though they kidnapped him to force him to join. He also says that The Authority's abuse of power was "helping" wrestlers and "best for business".

Michael Cole was doing this after Layfield's departure to wrestle again and before Layfield's return to the announce table from 2010-2012. His demented justifications for the behavior of many heels, especially former General Manager John Laurinaitis, legitimately angered many fans, as well as other members of the commentary team.

Sami Callihan deserves a shot at Dragon Gate USA's Open The Freedom Gate Champion Johnny Gargano because Gargano and Callihan are both part of the EVOLVE roster, which was just featured in a video game in which Callihan's usage by players exceeds Gargano's by 2%! Proof that the people are turning on Gargano, proof that Callihan is better than him!

Puppet Shows

One skit on the Rita Moreno episode of The Muppet Show had Kermit, Piggy, Rita (portraying "Tiffany Gonzales"), and Brewster (a mostly forgotten Muppet) in a panel discussion: Brewster: In my country, we have a seldom-used saying, "When the swine lubricates the automobile, you wind up with a greased pig". Rita: That doesn't make sense. Brewster: I know, that's why it's seldom used.

In the Fraggle Rock episode "The Preachification of Convincing John", Mokey has very sensible (albeit wrong) reason for wanting the Fraggles to stop eating Doozer constructions. When this fails to persuade everyone, she recruits Convincing John, who explains it like this: Well you eat a Doozer tower,

And it's as pretty as a flower,

And a flower's what you pick up in a field,

But the field can have a hole,

And you can fall in while you stroll,

And then a Gorg can come along to find a meal,

And he can pack you in a sack,

And you can try to scramble back,

But you'll never, ever, ever get free,

'Cause every time you eat a tower you'll be shut up for eternity!

Radio

In an old Bert And I sketch, a notoriously smelly and unclean man becomes enough of a nuisance that he's brought before a judge to explain himself. The man asks the judge how he can be considered unclean - after all, he washes maybe once a year, while some people are apparently dirty enough that they have to wash every day.

The Goon Show based a huge portion of its humor around this kind of logic. One of the best-known examples is the exchange between Eccles and Bluebottle that is usually referred to by its first line, "What time is it, Eccles? " In this example, Eccles explains in a perfectly logical sequence of total nonsense that he knows what time it is because he has the time written on a piece of paper in his pocket.

" In this example, Eccles explains in a perfectly logical sequence of total nonsense that he knows what time it is because he has the time written on a piece of paper in his pocket. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue uses a lot of this logic, either taking it seriously (of course Mornington Crescent is a real, rational game with a long and detailed history) or as one-off gags and quick silliness. Humph: Graeme, why are cashew nuts never sold in their shells?

Graeme: Ah, that's because cashews are actually monkey kidneys. And monkey kidneys don't come in shells, they come in monkeys. That would bulk out the packaging too much.

Doctor Who Expanded Universe In Big Finish Doctor Who, an Eldritch Abomination named Zagreus possesses the Doctor. The TARDIS manages to lock him up inside her. Zagreus tells her that he's dead now, so she'd better let him out. When the TARDIS pointedly remarks that dead people generally don't talk, Zagreus tries to convince her that she's mad for talking back to a dead person, so she'd better let him out. In the BBC audio drama Hornets' Nest, the hornet queen throws every moment of doubt Mike Yates has ever had of the Doctor at him in order to break his trust, heedless of the fact that they're contradictory. So in one breath, she criticises the Doctor for abandoning Earth, then she suggests that he's not really a time and space traveller at all and Mike's been conned, and then she asks Mike if he's not jealous of his Time Lord powers.

The vast majority of logic from Karl Pilkington, from The Ricky Gervais Show, is this. For example, he's willing to donate all of his organs except his eyes. He doesn't want to donate his eyes because he's afraid of becoming a blind ghost. Even though he is convinced that blind people will get eyes in the afterlife. Another example: Karl believes that snakes and spiders like hiding under rocks. The Earth is essentially a giant rock, with Australia underneath. That's why there's so many snakes and spiders in Australia. Karl thought the dodo went extinct because it tasted terrible and no-one wanted to eat it.

Bleak Expectations has an example of a character using such logic, when Harry Biscuit attempts to break the 30 mile an hour speed limit. He believes the issue is a lack of horsepower, on account of only having so many horses. Therefore, if he has more horses, he shall have more horsepower, and break the speed limit. Harry: It is simple mathematics. Pip Bin: ... It is wrong mathematics!

In The Men from the Ministry: Mr. Lamb asks his landlady Mrs. Bradby to charge less rent for the benefit of both of them. When Mildred questions how it brings help to her, Lamb says that in weeks he can't pay she loses less money. According to Sir Gregory, it is said that one person in four is mentally unstable. Therefore if you're on the bus and the nearest three people look sane, it must be you.

In the radio version of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (and no other versions) the natives of Brontitall build a fifteen-mile high statue of Arthur Dent Throwing The Nutrimatic Cup, an event they witnessed as a vision that changed their whole society. The Arthur Dent part of the statue stands on the ground; the Cup part of the statue hovers in midair. How? Because it's artistically right. The radio version also mentions that Marvin, the Paranoid Robot, who, due to copious amounts of time travel, ended up several times older than the universe itself, at long last finally broke down... and was promptly put back together again because his owners, i.e., Zaphod and the gang, were — due to time travel — alive at the time he broke, which of course went against the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation's lifetime warranty.



Stand-up Comedy

Bill Cosby has a famous routine about him being rudely awakened by his wife, and his daughter asking him if she can have cake for breakfast. He decides it must be healthy because it has eggs, wheat, and milk in it, and says yes. His wife then comes down, sees what the kids are eating, "has a conniption", and then sends him back to the bedroom... which is where he wanted to be in the first place.

Mitch Hedberg would frequently use this to great comedic effect. One anecdote he told revolves around him trying to buy bread from Subway, who refused to sell him a plain loaf but gave it to him for free when he said he wanted it to feed some ducks. Conclusion: Ducks eat for free at Subway. "Had I known that, I would've ordered a much larger sandwich. 'Lemme have the steak fajita sandwich, but don't bother ringing it up, it's for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!'"

Steven Wright does this a lot. One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."

Tabletop Games

Theatre

This is the basis of how the Theatre of the Absurd works. Eugene Ionesco was particularly good at this.

In Anyone Can Whistle, the patients from a local insane asylum infiltrate a line of pilgrims waiting to see a "miracle" set up by the mayoress and her cronies. To keep from being exposed, they call on the asylum's doctor, who sends his recently arrived assistant, J. Bowden Hapgood. Hapgood promises to separate the sane from the insane using "the principles of logic," and has an entire 13-minute musical sequence that is full of this kind of "logic".

Any Dane or Norwegian who didn't sleep their way through school knows this classic example from Ludvig Holberg's 18th century comedy Erasmus Montanus: Erasmus, having returned to his home village after getting an education at the Copenhagen university, demonstrates the power of logical thinking to his mother by stating that since rocks can't fly and his mother can't fly, she must be a rock. The mother is so gullible that she begins to think she is a rock, but Erasmus "saves" her by pointing out that rocks can't talk, but she can, so she's not a rock after all. Due to this play, the concept of insane troll logic is called Erasmus-Montanus logic in Denmark.

In Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew, Petruchio orders his servants not to let his wife, Kate, eat or sleep. Kate begs their servant Grumio to give her food. Grumio pretends to use this so that he can follow Petruchio's orders. First he offers to get Kate some calf's foot. When she agrees he rescinds the offer, saying that calf's foot would make her bad-tempered. Then he offers her tripe but takes that offer back for the same reason. The real kicker is the beef and mustard. When he offers this to Kate, she agrees. Then he says no because the mustard is too hot. She says she'll have the beef without the mustard, then. He says no, the beef goes with the mustard. She says she's willing to eat one or the other or both or anything else. So Grumio comes up with the perfect solution: mustard without the beef!

In Caryl Churchill's version of A Dream Play, there is a scene with a teacher in school arguing logic with a student of his. The teacher is asked what time is, to which he replies that since time flies, logically, time is something that flies while he's speaking. One of the other schoolboys starts to fly, claiming that by that logic, he is time. The teacher agrees, confirming that he is in fact time. But the first student says that that's impossible, and because logic failed in that case, we can therefore logically prove that logic is wrong.

Touchstone, in As You Like It, explains that Corin's going to Hell because he never went to court: Why, if thou never wast at court, thou never sawest good manners; if thou never sawest good manners, then thy manners must be wicked; and wickedness is sin, and sin is damnation. Thou art in a parlous state, shepherd.

And while we're on the subject of fools in Shakespeare, Feste, the fool from Twelfth Night, is a master of this. For example, he attempts to prove that Olivia is a fool so that the people asked to "take away the fool" will remove her instead of him: Feste: Good madonna, why mournest thou?

Olivia: Good fool, for my brother's death.

Feste: I think his soul is in Hell, madonna.

Olivia: I know his soul is in Heaven, fool.

Feste: The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother's soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen. Feste also gives a lengthy, confusing speech when Olivia accuses him of growing dishonest: Olivia : Go to, you're a dry fool; I'll no more of you: besides, you grow dishonest.

Feste : Two faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel will amend: for give the dry fool drink, then is the fool no longer dry; bid the dishonest man mend himself: if he mend, then he is no longer dishonest: if he cannot, let the botcher mend him: anything that's mended is but patched: virtue that transgresses is but patched with sin; and sin that amends is but patched with virtue: if that this simple syllogism will serve, so; if it will not, what remedy? As there is no true cuckold but calamity, so beauty's a flower.  The lady bade take away the fool; therefore, I say again, take her away.

Launce in Two Gentlemen of Verona: Launce: Fie on thee, jolt-head! Thou canst not read. Speed: Thou liest; I can. Launce: I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee? Speed: Marry, the son of my grandfather. Launce: O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy grandmother: this proves that thou canst not read.

Pops up constantly throughout the works of Gilbert and Sullivan: Jack Point's explanation of how there is humour in all things in The Yeomen of the Guard is this with a touch of Metaphorgotten: Point: Now observe. She said "Hands off!" Whose hands? Thine. Off whom? Off her. Why? Because she is a woman. Now, had she not been a woman, thine hands had not been set upon her at all. So the reason for the laying on of hands is the reason for the taking off of hands, and herein is contradiction contradicted! It is the very marriage of pro with con; and no such lopsided union either, as times go, for pro is not more unlike con than man is unlike woman — yet men and women marry every day with none to say, "Oh, the pity of it!" but I and fools like me! In The Mikado, Ko-Ko saves his life (plus the lives of Pooh-Bah and Pitti-Sing) when Nanki-Poo suddenly shows up, very much alive. This puts the Mikado in something of a quandary; Ko-Ko did not kill the heir apparent, but he is in dereliction of his duty. Ko-Ko solves the problem thusly: Ko-Ko: When Your Majesty says "Let a thing be done", it's as good as done, practically it is done, because Your Majesty's will is law. Your Majesty says "Kill a gentleman", and a gentleman is told off to be killed. Consequently, that gentleman is as good as dead—practically he is dead, and if he is dead, why not say so? The Mikado: I see. Nothing could possibly be more... ha-ha-ha, satisfactory! Cue the Dance Party Ending In Ruddigore, the entire plot is motivated by a curse that compels the current Bad Baronet of Ruddigore to commit a crime every day or die in agony. Robin (the current baronet) is about to be killed by the ghost of his ancestor, Sir Roderick, for failing to commit his daily crime, when he suggests to Roderick that failing to commit a crime is tantamount to suicide, and suicide is itself a crime. Not only does this satisfy Roderick, but causes him to come back to life (essentially making his undeath vanish in a Puff of Logic). In The Pirates of Penzance Major-General Stanley claims the tombs in the ruined chapel on his estate are the tombs of his ancestors, even though he only bought the estate a year ago. He is their "descendant by purchase," you see.

Angels in America has Roy Cohn explaining to his doctor at length how he is not homosexual, even though he does have sex with men, as homosexuality is really about lacking social, economic and political power. "Roy Cohn is not a homosexual. Roy Cohn is a heterosexual man, Henry, who fucks around with guys."

"Ya Got Trouble" from The Music Man: It takes judgment, brains, and maturity to score

In a baulk line game,

I say that any boob can take

And shove a ball in a pocket.

And they call that sloth.

The first big step on the road

To the depths of deg-ra-Day—

I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon,

Then beer from a bottle.

An' the next thing ya know,

Your son is playin' for money

In a pinch-back suit.

[...]

You got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets in a table.

Pockets that mark the diff'rence

Between a gentleman and a bum,

[...]

Trouble with a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'P' and that stands for 'pool'!

The Miser has The Matchmaker Frosine use it in hopes of convincing Harpagon that marrying Marianne will give him "a clear twelve thousand francs a year", by listing all the expensive things that Marianne does not indulge in and summing up their prices.

In Arsenic and Old Lace (including the film version) Mortimer Brewster pulls this when trying to get "Teddy Roosevelt" Brewster to sign the papers to admit him and his aunts to the crazy house. Mortimer Brewster : The name Brewster is code for Roosevelt. Teddy Brewster : Code for Roosevelt? Mortimer Brewster : Yes. Don't you see? Take the name Brewster, take away the B, and what have you got? Teddy Brewster : Rooster! Mortimer Brewster : Uh-huh. And what does a rooster do? Teddy Brewster : Crows. Mortimer Brewster : It crows. And where do you hunt in Africa? Teddy Brewster : On the veldt! Mortimer Brewster : There you are: crows — veldt! Teddy Brewster : Ingenious! My compliments to the boys in the code department. The confused police inspector then remarks "Do that again!"

In The Crucible, a play about the Salem witch trials, an old man named George Jacobs is accused of witchcraft, Abigail Williams claiming he entered her window at night to perform his spells. Jacobs points out that he needs canes to walk, and that climbing would be impossible with his health. The court replies that he could've sent his spirit into the window. Sadly, Jacobs can't argue against that and gets hanged.

Westeros: An American Musical: The Sand Snakes' reaction to their father dying in another kingdom is to go murder their father's entire family while completely ignoring people who are not only much more directly reponsible for the situation, but physically much closer to them.

Visual Novels

Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright is fond of objecting first and thinking later and of grasping at straws and coming up with imaginative guesses, but he's usually too honest and reasonable to use actual troll logic. However, in one situation where he's desperate to keep the trial going as long as possible until the police complete the next phase of their investigation, we get this exchange: Witness: He looked suspicious because he was walking through the hall in the hotel wearing black leather gloves.

Phoenix: Footballs are made of leather! Are you saying that all footballs are suspicious just because they're made out of leather?! Von Karma has a similar line of logic in the first game (this is the same guy who wanted to have his ATM PIN (0001) entered into evidence as "proof" that he's perfect): Phoenix: He remembered the name of his fiance who committed suicide.

Von Karma: My granddaughter has a dog she calls "Phoenix." Well, Mr. Phoenix Wright? Does this make you my granddaughter's fiancee!? He remembered the name of his fiance who committed suicide. That's why he named his parrot after her! My granddaughter has a dog she calls "Phoenix." Well, Mr. Phoenix Wright? Does this make you my granddaughter's fiancee!? Another example from the third game involves a massive stone lantern with upside-down bloody writing on it. Gumshoe voices the results of his special Gumshoe investigation: At the time of the murder, the stone lantern was upside down. In Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, one of the witnesses devolves into this frequently, notably why he steals large panties ( For Science! Motor Mouth Scrolling Text, he somehow manages to take the leap from discussing someone being shot "square in the forehead" to "krypton particles are rare" among other things. Phoenix will often break into this trope whenever the player answers a question wrong. Take this example from the DLC case of the fifth game: Judge: And on what grounds do you base your assertion that the singing trick was faked?

Phoenix: Take That!

Judge: That item proves the singing trick was faked?

Phoenix: No, Your Honor. This piece of evidence will not prove that. In other words... this piece of evidence is... a fake-out! And if this evidence is a fake-out, then the singing trick was a fake-out as well!

Athena: Boss, I don't think that makes any sense...

Phoenix: Momentum is key at times like these.

Judge: I can hear every word you're saying, Mr. Wright! Edgeworth himself does this if you present wrong evidence in at a few parts in Investigations 2. Edgeworth: Objection! Do you not see a problem with your statement just now? Courtney: I'm afraid I see no such problem. Edgeworth: Exactly. So if you fail to see the problem, then that must mean you fail to see the problem with accepting your logic! You're admitting that you can't comprehend your own logic?! Courtney: The only thing I fail to see here, is your point. Edgeworth: Nggh...! (Curses...! I guess I should have known that wouldn't work...) Matt Engarde also proclaims that he never killed anyone, despite hiring an assassin to commit the case's murder for him, making him indirectly responsible. Either due to using Exact Words or his own warped belief in his own innocence, he actually manages to fool Phoenix's Magatama with this. In Turnabout Time Traveler, when Edgeworth protests that some scattered flower petals are hardly "meaningful" evidence, the Judge disagrees...because they're his wife's favorite flowers, and their relationship is VERY meaningful, so the petals must be, too. Phoenix is actually able to get a fair number of bluffs through by playing on this angle; since the trial centers around a wedding and Edgeworth is quite vocal about his desire to remain single, the Judge will usually agree with Phoenix due to Edgeworth 'not understanding romance'.

In Umineko: When They Cry this is what Battler's strategy degenerates into when he's desperately grasping at straws, no matter how ridiculous, as a viable theory (as long as magic isn't involved of course); from "spike-launching devices" to "small bombs". Beatrice lets the more amusing ones pass, at least for the time. Dlanor uses her laws to cut them down abruptly and mercilessly.

Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc: Cloudcuckoolander Hagakure delves into this from time to time. Perhaps the biggest example is when Kirigiri shows up after having believed to have been killed, and Hagakure refuses to believe that she isn't a ghost. The first part of the trial then consists of Naegi having to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Kirigiri really is alive. While the person in question is standing right in front of them. Hagakure: Wrong! That's clearly a ghost, right!?

Asahina: She has legs, though.

Hagakura: Um...that's probably because...it's the new ghost model they've been developing recently!

Togami: I thought there were limits to being an idiot. Monokuma is a less hilarious example. He traps the cast in a building, tells them that the only way out is to kill someone and get away with it, and then psychologically and emotionally tortures and blackmails them to make them desperate to get out enough to kill. Whenever anybody calls him on it, though, he claims that the students killing each other is entirely on them and it isn't his fault. But his worst use of Insane Troll Logic is unquestionably when he outright decides to plant a fake suicide note on the scene of a crime and when this is found out, he tries to claim that this act wasn't the same thing as planting false evidence or attempting to mislead anyone trying to find the killer. It turns out that particular instance was indeed a suicide, but not for the reasons Monokuma's fake note implied.

Grisaia Series: In Kajitsu Michiru's reasons on how some of her actions reinforce her tsundere nature can often come off as this. Also in Kajitsu Michiru's reasons as to why and how she consumes vitamin C are as varied as they are misinformed, it doesn't make her smarter, and it's not that much easier for the body to absorb it in liquid form. Kajitsu: Sachi takes off her maid uniform and wraps it around the head of her brush. Why? Because it connects with the floor on a larger surface... besides she just accidentally fell, so her clothes were wet anyway. In Meikyuu Michiru's reasons for going to a winter date. Winter is rather romantic, right? She certainly believes so. Is she looking cute in her coat? The protagonist admits as much. Is it a problem that they are in the middle of the late-summer heat of early September and otherwise in the hottest days of the year? Not in the slightest. Winter date it is then... Granted there is a simple reason why she wants that, but the way she tries to justify it is as ludicrous as it gets.



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