Said & Done: ‘I’m feeling like Jesus to be honest - everyone at me for no reason’

Man of the week

Diego Maradona – meeting the press 24 hours after becoming a Fifa goodwill ambassador. His key line - denying he hit a reporter who asked him a question: “I didn’t hit. If I hit you, you wouldn’t have a nose left. One on one, I’d destroy you.”

Meanwhile

Also last week from Fifa’s PR team: a rebuttal after Swiss media revealed Gianni Infantino accepted a private jet flight from Vitaly Mutko in November. Fifa says the gift from the Russian minister, who faces a Fifa integrity inquiry over links to doping, was “in accordance with Fifa codes”. Mutko denies wrongdoing.

• Up next for Infantino: a flight to Zimbabwe for FA head Philip Chiyangwa’s 58th birthday party. Chiyangwa – former Mugabe regime MP and multimillionaire Youtuber AKA Captain Fiasco – denies staging the event with regional FA heads to destabilise Africa’s confederation. “My family and I do this yearly, without fail.”

Also in action

Fifa’s ethics committee – opening proceedings to determine former Guatemala FA head Brayan Jiménez’s fit and proper person status, seven months after he pleaded guilty in New York to bribery, fraud and racketeering. Jiménez said last year that he spent five weeks on the run before police picked him up because “I was in my cups … I like being drunk.”

Migrant workers in Qatar still at risk despite reforms, warns Amnesty Read more

And looking ahead

Qatar 2022 head Hassan al-Thawadi – moving the news agenda on from slave-state headlines by billing the tournament a “celebration of humanity”. “ The importance of people-to-people relations should not be underestimated and there is no more effective vehicle for this than football … People may label us dreamers - if so, it’s a label we are proud of.”

Other news: bravest stand

Uli Hoeness, Bayern president and paroled €27.2m tax evasion convict, accusing winger Douglas Costa of “desperate” greed for dropping hints about a transfer. “This is his attempt to get more money and it won’t work. He can try 10 more times. He’s no social case.”

Launch of the week

“Upton Gardens” – the new development on West Ham’s old ground, featuring 25% affordable housing – the minimum permitted, up from an initial 0% offer – one-bed flats from £350,000, and a launch event in a casino. Developers: “We will ensure the spirit of the site lives on.”

Manager news: last week’s exits

• Italy, 9 Feb: Pescara president Daniele Sebastiani rejects fan pressure on coach Massimo Oddo. “Oddo seems to have become an imbecile in everybody’s eyes, but not in mine. Sure, it may make me an oddball in this industry, but I stand by my coach.” 13 Feb: Issues club statement confirming “unanimous” board confidence in Oddo. 14 Feb: Sacks him.

• 20 Jan: Kilmarnock manager Lee Clarke sets out his dream to match the club’s 1990s success. “You’ve got to embrace the history of the club; the supporters, players and staff from that time will remember it forever. But we want to create our own bit of history now, one step at a time.” 15 Feb: Joins Bury.

Most reasonable

Romania: Steaua Bucharest owner Gigi Becali, rejecting fan input into the club’s rebrand after a court ruled Romania’s defence ministry owns the rights to the Steaua name. “I’ve chosen ‘FCSB’. It stands for ‘Faci Ce Spune Becali’ [Do what Becali tells you]. It’s my money.”

The Fiver | Cuddlier than the fluffiest of fluffy bunnies Read more

• His message on the ruling as he prepares to appeal: “No one can take our God-given identity … no one, not seven billion judges, not the pope in Rome, not Nato forces. It’s 100%: the supreme court will reverse this.”

Most laid back

Chile: Santiago Morning coach Hernán Godoy, assessing the work of “bastard” match officials. “If you mashed all four officials together you still wouldn’t get one straight one. It’s bad robbery. And you press, you all say nothing, you never rock the boat, you never get your arses wet.” Godoy’s clarification after being banned: “I regret my words, but not their essence. I will die in my boots.”

Most got at

Argentina U20 coach Gerardo Salorio, 57, suspended for trying to climb perimeter fencing to fight fans. “People call me old, a drunk, but I just climbed the fence to look for the haters. I’ve said a thousand sorries, but I’m feeling like Jesus to be honest - everyone at me for no reason.”

El Gráfico (@elgraficoweb) La AFA suspendió a Gerardo Salorio https://t.co/J4dmd5IHem pic.twitter.com/IEyu0bvzpl

Plus: most let down

Brazil: Corinthians club model and Miss Bumbum 2016 winner Erika Canela, attending a press launch with a plaster covering her new tattoo of Donald Trump’s face. Canela said she had the tattoo last month in a bid to “change his views on women and immigrants”, but it “hasn’t worked”: “Now I will have it inked over. It’s too fresh to get lasered.”