There is an article right now on Evening Sends that is called “Athlete or Model: What is Sierra Blair Coyle?”

Well, for a blog i generally find interesting and fun to read, this article was a true mess, a way to somehow knock down someone who is talented at both climbing and social media and who is obviously luckier than the author in which she is able to go around climbing and posting on instagram and make it work for herself financially. Who knew that you could make money on the internet??! Mind. Blown.

Oh, and she models because she has a good figure. Go figure!

So, what is this object of desire we call SBC?! Tell me now oh internet genies and bloggers! Well they conclude that she is in fact some sort of evil she-devil who uses both her talent and physicality to sell SPY sunglasses. The horror, the horror. What have we done? We’ve created a precedent that all other women in climbing will have to live up to.

Plus she sounds oh so dumb on her tumblr blog! For shame!

I mean, if only we had Alex Honnold, a true hero, in the limelight, in magazines, and more ubiquitous than SBC. Then people would know that climbing and sex are just two things that never, EVER, touch. Plus, I can buy my North Face gear knowing that he’s not seducing me!

Shit. I guess he has 150k likes on FB and 150k on Instagram. Shit.

Okay okay okay okay. Let’s see. Surely Sasha Digiulian, arguably the best female climber would not arouse us like stupid, sexy Honnold over there.

Dammit. That girl is pretty! We must internet shame her. Oh wait, no since she also climbs really hard. Oh good. So we figured it out gang! No one sexy can be called to represent rock climbing unless they climb really, really hard.

Plus Sasha is obviously smarter than SBC from the few lines the author has quoted from her Tumblr. You know, i generally say that someone’s tumblr is a direct reflection of how hard they think, unlike meeting them or even video interviews or whatever. Also, hashtags, sponsor plugs and emojis are dumb! No one other than SBC does that stuff.

So you’re saying everyone uses hashtags…. hmmm…..

Wait, so how is it that we have all these people who don’t climb that hard still being paid (like SBC!!)? Oh of course, because they are men who can sell ideas or go cool places and explore or something. Good looking men, just out of the fact that they climb and so, well, that’s how they got their sex-appeal. Well, they kinda climb hard but they don’t climb as hard as Ondra, for example. Weird! Thankfully they too have instagrams.

Hmmm. So what’s different between Cedar, another climber who isn’t the best but does a great job of marketing his skills and doing photography and climbing hard, and SBC? Well, I guess the only thing that I can see is that Cedar is a man. Oh, shit. I think we’re bigots, boys.

Let’s review what we’ve learned about climbing, sponsorship and being in the limelight:

So, being hot is okay. Not climbing that hard is okay. Being a social media using, hashtag popping, instagram-gramming climber is okay. SBC is making us feel all weird

So what about SBC? Why are we so butt-hurt about her doing it? For some reason, some people think she’s appealing to maybe a different demographic than the traditional sponsored climber. And I guess that demographic is the main-stream, semi-hardcore, gym loving young person. For shame! Using fame to make money off the mainstream!

Now, if I didn’t know better, I’d think we wouldn’t have climbers crossing into the mainstream for exposure. Or appealing to the new media and trying to be funny, sexy or even talking to them. I mean with this whole Dawn Wall thing that just happened, who knows! Oh right, i know. And look, so does Tosh.0!

Welp, there you have it. Looks like climbing isn’t on the pedestal you put it on. Oops!

Let’s not be total jerks and extend an apology to SBC for being shamed by Evening Sends where others were not due to nothing more than being a pretty girl that wont talk to you (and might even send your project). Damn, isn’t that something. Feels like i’m in high school all over again when that pretty girl seemed to beat me in French class and make me feel like an idiot. I had better taste than her anyways, and i was better at math! And stronger! That dumb girl!

Hastag Boyz club for life.

Legal Disclaimer

This article was mostly a joke and there is a lot of sarcasm and so don’t get all riled up and fight on the internet now because we wouldn’t want to talk about something meaningless, would we?

That’s it!

-CC