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These be jokes 1 - 10 of 20 scurvy jokes!

On March 19, 2005, captain Cap'n Karikas said: A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"

"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."

The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."

"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."

"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."

"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"

"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet." Link hearrrrre! From: Web site ahoy!

On March 24, 2005, scurvy knave Cap'n Karikas said: Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.



Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.



Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.



As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!! Link hearrrrre! From: Web site ahoy!

On September 12, 2008, land-lubber Ryan Huber said: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they can spend years at C! Link hearrrrre! From: Original

On November 11, 2014, the grog-addicted Rondo Goldwyn said: What did the pirate with cardio vascular disease yell in his death throes? Arrr, me hearty!!! Link hearrrrre! From: from a bottle washed up on shore

On January 9, 2007, captain Samurai! said: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty! Link hearrrrre! From: Drunken Stupor.

On September 26, 2013, the dreaded My name be Luke said: Why don't pirates go to strip clubs? They already have all the booty! Link hearrrrre! From: My Brain

On September 26, 2008, seven sea sailin' Tessy said: What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer? Shiver me timbers! Link hearrrrre! From: My ingenios pirotic mind

On April 7, 2010, the dreaded man said: What kind of grades did the pirate get in school? HIGH SEAS! Link hearrrrre! From: ESPN's Sportsnation

On May 21, 2009, the dreaded "Hook"ers said: What do pirates and pimps have in common? They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp! Link hearrrrre! From: Flarrrrrrida!!!

On June 16, 2009, regular scallywag Captain "Cannon Balls" MacFadyen said: Why do young pirates always fail when saying the alphabet in kindergarten? Because their fathers insist that there are seven Cs!!!! Link hearrrrre! From: deep inside me pirate gullet

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