3. Use Anecdotes and Stories.

Using anecdotes and stories are very powerful ways to make conversations interesting.

Even as children, we love stories. In fact, stories are imbedded in our brain structure.

We’ve been using stories ever since we developed the ability to speak. And we used them to pass on knowledge from generation to generation.

Just the fact that you know how to present an anecdote or tell a story shows you have higher status. And status is a powerful attraction trigger.

Now, don’t worry—you don’t need to become some marvelous story-teller.

You just need to know the basic structure of how to tell a story.

Once you know that, you can tell your anecdotes in that format.

eight classic story-telling models There aregoing from the Monomyth (The Hero’s Journey) all the way to the Petal Structure.

But for our purposes here, you just need the simplest three-step structure:

a) A character with a purpose.

A good story always has a character in it, and that character has a purpose or a goal.

For example, if you tell a story about your first kiss, the character would be YOU and your purpose would be to get the first kiss.

If you want to make it more compelling, you can also talk about the motivation behind the first kiss.

Maybe you wanted that first kiss because the girl dreamed about a first kiss like in a movie and you always wanted to be a movie star. See how this instantly makes the story more interesting?

b) An obstacle between the character and his purpose.

Once the character and his purpose are clear and he’s on his quest to fulfill his purpose, you need to think about the obstacles that might get in his way.

In the case of your first kiss, you might want to think more in detail about the obstacles between you and getting your first kiss.

Maybe she had bad breath? Or maybe you popped a boner when you wanted to kiss her? 😊

You see how this instantly makes the story more dramatic?

c) The resolution.

Once your audience is captivated by the character, his purpose, and the drama of the obstacle between him and his goal, you need to relieve the tension with the resolution.

There are two questions you want to answer in the resolution.

First, did the character get what he wanted?

Second, regardless if he got what he wanted, how did it change him?

And the second is more important than the first. In other words, how the quest changed the character is more important than if he succeeded or failed in his quest.

In fact, describing a CHANGE is the REASON people tell a story.

Here are two ways to end a story by describing a change:

• “That’s why I never…”

• “That’s why I always…”

In the case of your first kiss story, you could end the story (regardless if you succeeded in getting the first kiss or not) by saying “that’s why I decided to not become an actor after all!”

Do you see how this gives the story a punchy, funny finish?

Remember, your goal was to get your first kiss because that girl dreamed about a first kiss like in a movie and you always wanted to become a movie star.

Then when you wanted to finally kiss her, you got an embarrassing boner that screwed it all up. That’s when you decided never to become a movie star.

See how, in this case, the resolution referred back to a change in what you initially wanted?

Initially, you wanted to become a movie star, but your first kiss experience changed you.

Now, of course this is a very condensed explanation about storytelling, but for now it should be enough to help you on your way.

So here’s an implementation assignment to help you prepare some stories.

Step 1: Look for areas in your life where you changed something. You can do this by finishing the following statements:

• “That was the moment I realized…”

• “I’ll never do that again because…”

Step 2: Structure the journey that led you to that change in the story-telling format.

Ask yourself:

• What was my purpose?

• What was my motivation behind it?

• What obstacles, conflicts, or drama were standing in the way of my goal?

• Did I reach my goal?

• How did it change me?

Everybody has made changes in his life. By talking about those changes in the story-telling structure, you actually make your conversations interesting. So why not use it?

By the way, it’s not lying. You are talking about stuff that actually happened to you.

The only thing you do is you tell it in a compelling way instead of a boring way.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

Also, don’t confuse this with telling DHV stories. DHV (delivering high value) stories are tools that pick-up artists use to tell lies about themselves to make them look cool.

When I’m talking about storytelling, I’m talking about sharing things that really happened to you, and doing it in a format that makes the conversation more interesting.