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We now have 43 days until Spectre. Let’s get this one over with.

You Only Live Twice was released in 1967 as the fifth Eon Bond film. Lacking anything super interesting to put in this little preamble, I’m just gonna come out and say I wasn’t a huge

fan of this one. I’ll go more in depth in a bit, first…



The Story:



In You Only Live Twice, MI6 agent James Bond, fresh off of faking his death (to throw off his enemies, because I’m sure that’ll work real well) is sent to Japan to investigate the hijacking of American and Soviet spacecrafts from out of orbit. While in Japan, Bond meets Tiger Tanaka and his school of goddamn ninjas, as well as his assistant Aki. With Tanaka and Aki’s help, Bond discovers SPECTRE (surprise!) has been behind the entire plot, and is hiding out on a nearby island.

Bond disguises himself as Japanese (with the help from an actual yellowface operation, I wish I was kidding) and stages a marriage to one of Tanaka’s students, Kissy Suzuki, in order to infiltrate the island. Bond discovers SPECTRE is hiding out in one of the volcanoes on the island and finally comes face to face with SPECTRE’s mysterious Number 1: Ernst Stavro Blofield, played here by Donald Pleasence, who has been trying to ignite a global nuclear war because…profit? Let’s go with profit.

Bond foils Blofield’s plan with the help of Tanaka and his goddamn ninjas (with machine guns!), Blofield gets away and the base explodes. But the good guys get out, don’t worry. Bond tries to bang Kissy on a raft, but is interrupted by M’s submarine (by the way, M has a submarine). ROLL CREDITS

So, that was…interesting. Let’s see what went into making this…enthralling story.

Let’s Make a Movie? I guess?

Hot off the success of Thunderball, Harry Saltzman and Albert Broccoli turned to Ian Fleming’s eleventh Bond novel, You Only Live Twice. Due to the story’s primarily Japanese setting, this also allowed Eon to capitalize on the franchise’s popularity in Japan.

Lewis Gilbert was named director, after some convincing by Broccoli, and Harold Jack Bloom was to write the screenplay. Bloom’s work failed to impress and was rejected, and since Richard Maibaum was unavailable to return to the franchise, the job was given to Roald Dahl, (Yes, that Roald Dahl. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Roald Dahl.) a personal friend of Fleming’s who had little experience writing screenplays (oh really? you don’t say).

Most of the film was shot on location in Japan with help from Toho Studios, best known for the Godzilla movies (Godzilla is like the Japanese James Bond anyway, so I guess it just made sense). Production of the film went over smoothly, except for one major aspect: Sean Connery. Connery had grown increasingly disillusioned with the role of James Bond, as well as the time commitment each film required. Early in filming, Connery announced that You Only Live Twice would be his final Bond film, though Broccoli insisted that the series would continue.

Production may have gone over well, but how did the film go over with me? Well…

My Reaction:

I should’ve kept my goddamn mouth shut. I just had to go on about how much I was enjoying these movies last time. I just had to mention how nervous I was about them getting bad. Well, it happened. I’m sure this is far from the worst Bond film, and I might lighten up on it down the road, but for now, especially after following the previous films, this is my least favorite. Let’s look into why shall we?

Yes, I did enjoy seeing characters return again. Bernard Lee’s M and Lois Maxwell’s Moneypenny are always great to see, and I always appreciate the continuity, but they’re barely there in this one. M does help fake Bond’s death early in the film, but beyond that he just shows up to give Bond his mission and then we don’t see or hear from him again until the final scene of the film.

Not that this takes away from the development afforded to M’s character so far. We still know he’s the head of MI6 and responsible for the 00-agents, but I feel like his character really shines when we get to see him as more than just Bond’s boss. Moneypenny still does what Moneypenny does best though, so I guess there’s that.

MI6 is also downplayed a lot here. Last time the world was in peril, every 00-agent was gathered together to discuss how to save it, this time not so much. I liked getting to see that Bond was part of a much bigger agency than just himself. I guess the argument could be made that more manpower would rouse more suspicion, ruining the whole point of a covert operation, but some mention could be made of the bigger goings-ons. I just miss the hints at there being more happening.

Which brings me to SPECTRE’s role in the film. Right off, I want to say I liked not knowing just who was behind everything right away, but once it was revealed I was a little underwhelmed. I’ve liked getting to see SPECTRE grow from a passing reference to an actual threat in this series, and finally getting to see Number 1/Blofeld revealed was exciting. But SPECTRE just felt…underwhelming this time.

My criticism is the same as that of MI6 in this film, in that SPECTRE just felt smaller than it should’ve. Before, we really got a feel that this was a major globe-spanning syndicate of villains, led by the shadowy figure that is Blofield. This time…not so much. Not mention that Blofeld didn’t really seem all that intimidating or menacing. The one good thing though was that Blofeld escaped, which means plenty of time for a proper resurgence and showdown. I hope.

Let’s get to the Bond girls. They sucked. All three of them. Aki shows promise early, leading Bond on and being generally sneaky, but then she suddenly falls for Bond with no pretense and just isn’t interesting before she’s killed roughly halfway through the movie. Which sucks, because I feel like that should’ve had a bigger impact than it did. A Bond girl dies and I don’t even care.

Next is Helga Brandt, or Number 11, the only other SPECTRE number we’re treated to this film. Honestly, she was pretty great. Tricking Bond into thinking he banged her to the good side, and then promptly attempting to kill him via plane crash. Of course, it fails (duh, it’s Bond), and Blofield feeds her to his piranhas as an example. Oh well.

Last is Kissy Suzuki, with all the naming subtlety of Pussy Galore, but without any of the things that made Pussy great. She honestly doesn’t do much of anything. She “marries” Bond and leads him around the island, escorting him in his investigation. But really she doesn’t amount to more than just simple arm candy for Bond. Not to mention she disappears after a while to go get Tanaka and his goddamn ninjas, which is probably the most useful things she does the entire film.

I know these films are supposed to be big, fun, campy action flicks, but I feel like this one leaned a little too far to that side of things. I’m all for exciting fight scenes and chases and scenery-chewing villains, but at the same time I like that it tended to be balanced with some quieter more human moments. This one just felt a little too far out there.

Overall, this one just didn’t feel like Bond to me. It felt far too slow far too often, I found the location boring, and the sort of Toho-ish filter over the whole thing gave it a weird, cheap feeling.

Though, it did have a few bright spots. Q was back, as was Desmond Llewelyn in the role, and just as sassy as ever. He even provides Bond with a pretty interesting gadget, the one-man gyrocopter called Little Nellie. One of my favorite sequences involved Bond fending off opposing helicopters as he was flying over the island. Even with the limited effects at their disposal, the production team managed to make the scene exciting. Also, if Connery was truly sick of the Bond role, he didn’t let it show in his performance, continuing to play the role as deftly as ever.

Also, ninjas. Who doesn’t like ninjas? With machine guns?

The End? Thankfully.

Despite my thoughts on the film, it did well enough, easily making back it’s $10 million budget. Though critical reactions seem to be mixed, which agrees well with what I thought of it. Though, it’s hard to argue with it’s legacy, as this particular film would go on to inspire many of the gags and parodies found in the Austin Powers series (hmm…future Russtrospective? Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.) including the physical appearance of Blofeld inspiring that of Dr. Evil.

Moving on, I’m hoping this one was more a bump in the road and not the top of a downward slide for the series. But I guess that remains to be seen.

18 to go. I…think it’s still doable. We’ll see.

Russtrospectives will return with: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service!