What's behind the discrepancy? The study found that young women have a strong longing for motherhood: More than half of them said they would like to be a mom right now "if things in their life were different." And even among those who said it was important to avoid pregnancy, 20 percent of women (and 43 percent of men) admitted that they'd be at least a little pleased if they found out they were going to have a baby. While celebs have helped glamorize babies as the ultimate accessory, Kaye thinks a major reason women feel this way is simply that they are waiting longer to begin the whole family thing. "In the past, you got out of school, got married and started having kids, so the drive to start a family wasn't an issue," she says. "Now many young adults wait to marry until after they develop their career, so that urge to procreate gets put on hold for much longer, but it's still there, whether consciously or not."

And women aren't exactly encouraged to talk about that urge. Alison, a 21-year-old college senior, feels the push-pull between baby-making and a career in her life, even though she hasn't even graduated yet. She doesn't want to get pregnant until after she's established in her career, and yet she takes chances; she and her boyfriend use condoms only sometimes. "When I'm in the moment, it's a matter of being lazy," she confesses. "But there's also a little part of me—maybe a big part—that secretly wants to get pregnant. That would make the decision for me, and I'd deal with it. Sometimes being a stay-at-home mom sounds easier than having to compete out there in a tough job market." But it's hard to admit those dreams to her crowd of ambitious college classmates. Veronica agrees: "There's a sense that it's not cool to get married and have kids right out of college. But if you just get pregnant,' you don't face society's judgment. If anything, it becomes kind of heroic: Wow, what a sacrifice. She made the choice to raise her baby!'"

The decision to become a mom "is such a big one that women are afraid to be purposeful about it," says Julia McQuillan, Ph.D., a professor of sociology at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, who has researched women's feelings about parenthood. "So it's almost like they're tempting fate." But this kind of deciding by default can backfire, says Mary Nettleman, M.D., chair of the department of medicine at Michigan State University. "By being careless with birth control, women are putting themselves in a situation in which they'll be forced to make some hard choices, like: Will I drop out of college? Will I stay with this guy who's maybe not The One? Will I have an abortion?'"

We Believe in Happy Endings

One group of young women may be more likely to play baby roulette than others: those in a long- term relationship. "In my research of women 18 to 39," says Dr. Nettleman, "65 percent of them said that one reason they didn't use contraception when they had sex was that their partner would be there' for them if they ended up getting pregnant." In some ways, that's understandable. Says Kaye, "There's this expectation that you're with the guy you're going to have children with anyway, so if you start a little earlier, it's not a problem—maybe it will even accelerate the wedding bells." But in most cases, an unplanned pregnancy unravels the relationship rather than solidifying it, Kaye says. Sixty percent of cohabiting couples who have a baby break up within five years; if the pregnancy was unplanned, the odds that you'll part ways roughly doubles. Still, says Dr. Nettleman, "There's this belief among young women that the baby will come and it will love you unconditionally and it will all be OK. But there's more to it than that. Having a child changes your whole life path. Sometimes I just want to say to young women, A baby is not a kitten!' It's not that you can't raise a child all by yourself, but it's a tough road to take."