The University of Virginia men’s basketball team improved to 24-1 on the season Monday evening with a 61-49 win over a talented Pittsburgh team. The Cavaliers have been a major story this NCAA season, gelling under head coach Tony Bennett (no, not that Tony Bennett) and shocking a lot of opponents in the process.

The team is also one of the most boring things ever.

I’m not just talking boring for college basketball. I’m not just talking boring for sports. I’m talking boring, period. Virginia basketball is the guy at your dinner party who won’t shut up about his jet ski. It is the first hour of The Desolation of Smaug. It is the small talk at the hotel’s continental breakfast before an accounting conference.

UVA basketball is paint-drying, grass-growing, sixth-period-algebra boring.

Let’s look back at some of their scorching wins earlier this season. The Cavaliers won a barn-burner over Virginia Tech 50-47 on January 25. A couple weeks later, eager to flex their muscles, they beat Louisville 52-47. Those extra two points seemed a little gratuitous though, so the prudent Cavaliers reigned it in the next game, beating North Carolina State 51-47.

And let us not forget the crown jewel of 2015 Virginia basketball, a November 29th war of attrition with Rutgers that finished with the score of 45-29. (CORRECTION: It was actually 45-26. This is my favorite correction I’ve made this year.) Forcing someone to watch that basketball game should be a crime. Forcing someone to watch that basketball game might actually be considered a crime. At the very least it probably violates an international treaty.

The Cavaliers’ most exciting game this season was an 89-80 win over Miami, a game that took two overtimes to get to that score. They needed not one but two extra periods to score anywhere close to an acceptable amount of baskets in a basketball game.

And spare me the lecture about tactics. I don’t want to hear about old-school play and grinding defense. I especially don’t want to hear that the Cavaliers are 24-1 and the point of a basketball game is to win it, sonny, and you just pipe down and let the young men work.

Yes, Virginia’s way of playing, with its slowed-down offense and the interminable possessions and the lockdown defense, is effective. It’s extremely effective. But that doesn’t make it right.

A lot of things are effective. The flu virus is effective at mutating and surviving. U2 keeps making records. The military industrial complex. Two and a Half Men.

Sports is a viewing experience, and the NCAA televises its games for an audience to watch. And while I almost have to respect Virginia laughing in the face of the viewers (and the NCAA) and adopting a boring, win-at-all-costs strategy, that doesn’t mean I have to like it, and it doesn’t mean I have to watch it.

And if that makes me a college basketball philistine for not being able to appreciate a 30-second possession that ends in a good, high-percentage look at the basket, so be it. I know boring when I see boring. And if you’ll excuse me, this dude needs to tell me about his jet ski.