I was watching someone stream Civilization VI the other day on Twitch. For those who don’t know, Civilization VI is a strategy game centered around building the best civilization in history. It’s quite fun so I would suggest picking it up if you’re into strategy games or such. Anyways, I couldn’t help but noticed how amazing the soundtrack was. After watching the video, I decided to binge listen to the soundtrack of the game. It was during this session of binge-listening that I found this gem:

The moment I heard this theme, I instantly stopped in my tracks. While I’m very receptive to the emotions evoked by certain pieces of music, this one in particular brought on a certain feeling I could never see myself having, that being patriotism.

The track exudes a certain sense of heroism, not unlike the type of themes one would expect coming from a superhero movie. While this particular tune is remixed several times for different periods throughout history, the use of it for the atomic age perfectly represents the role America sought to play in history: one of a hero. A nation that would represent everything good in the world; a nation that, even if they messed up sometimes, would always end up on the side of righteousness.

While many people can call bullshit on this idea firsthand, I still allowed myself to believe in this dream, if only just for a moment. I wanted to believe that the nation, the world that we lived in, was not full of prejudice; that it was not a world that was built off of the suffering and subjugation of marginalized groups; that it was not a world where I woke up one day and realized my autistic tendencies could very well cause shot down like a dog in the street. To be honest, all I really wanted to do was to be a kid again.

When thinking about America and the potential of hope for this nation, I wonder if I could really make a difference. Even if I dedicated my entire life to changing the way this country works, would I even do anything? It’s hard to exactly refute the impossibility of change when the stigmatization of certain groups of people stem from justifications dating back to the country’s founding, much less colonialism as a whole.

I guess the point of this post was for me to take a step back and see what I’m dealing with. When songs like this still exist, showing the illusion of the American Dream in all of its grandeur, it reminds me that our work to change this country is far from over; in fact, it might not be entirely inaccurate to say that it’s just beginning. Because until we dismantle the beliefs that uphold America as the sole beacon of justice, no justice will ever be served to those that are trampled beneath its feet.

Until this is achieved, I will remain the anti-debater.