So there I was Saturday night, feeling quite sick after the frequent stop and go of my mom’s car having just cruises around neighborhoods looking at Christmas lights, when I was browsing the gallery of gifts. In the comments of whatever gift I was reading, someone mentioned a tracking page. A tracking page? Omg yes of course! I forgot about that! I’d been wondering about where my gift was. I go to check it out and it’s supposed to be delivered on Monday the 23rd. Cool!! Let’s see where it’s actually at with the tracking number. Much to my surprise, USPS says it was delivered to the front door!! I n e v e r receive my packages on the weekend because they always try to deliver to the business downstairs and not my actual apartment upstairs. “Awesome! I’m kinda not feeling good still, I’ll get it tomorrow morning and open it then.” But after a few more minutes I decide no I’ll go down and get it now.

So I get back upstairs and I’ve been telling myself I’m going to save my secret santa gift to open on christmas morning because I’m working through a lot of mental health stuff. My therapist and I really think Christmas is a holiday that really embodies who I am, but it doesn’t feel special to me so I’m trying to reclaim the excitement from my neglectful childhood past. But I really want to open it!! Okay, I’ll open the box... maybe it’s an amazon box inside or something. I’m on the floor in my pj’s and two of my cats gather around and In just trying to take everything I’ve learned from my therapist this year and sit in the moment and take everything in. “Someone cares enough to send me this. Even if it’s just a mug or keychain and they were short on finances, they picked this out just for me.” I’m saying to myself.