Last season’s A-League wasn’t FFA’s finest hour. Two teams folded (one came back) and a new franchise popped up in Western Sydney that looked suspiciously knee-jerk to their demise. Today we take a look at the forgotten boys, Gold Coast United and see how they’re shaping up for season eight…



GCU’s record crowd cheer their team on. Last season:

Wound up by FFA

They’ll win the league because…

…they won’t lose any games all season long.

Clive Palmer idiotically predicted that his GCU side would go undefeated in their first season in the A-League. Of course they didn’t then, but they will this time around.

Melbourne Victory with Marcos Flores, Brisbane Roar with Besart Berisha and Perth Glory with Shane Smeltz do your worst, you won’t be hitting the back of the net at Skilled Park this season. Unless we get another flood in Brisbane and the Roar have to move some home games southward.

The playing surface at Skilled Park will also be the best in the A-League. Perfect for flowing, passing football. Anyone who saw the Walllabies play Argentina there last month will have seen how good the surface looked. That’s what you get when nobody uses it for months. By January it will be just like a billiard table.

They’ll be cellar dwellers because…

Although they are certain to go without defeat this season, they may struggle to pick up any points.

I just can’t see where their goals are going to come from.

The winding up of the club and subsequent departure of the entire playing squad has left GCU severely lacking quality in front of goal.

This won’t be helped by the fact that they don’t have a coach and if they are to pick up any injuries the absence of any medical staff mean that players will face a long road back to full fitness.

Talk around the water cooler… Look smart in front of your colleagues with this valuable piece of information.

Gold Coast United could become the first club in football history to maintain the exact same number of devoted fans after they have been wound up as they had when they were fully operating.

Zero minus zero equals… zero.

The off season bought…

Brisbane Roar some of their old fans back. If all the Gold Coast United fans decide to throw their support behind their next closest team geographically, expect to see Roar’s average crowds sky rocket from 15,963 to well in excess of 15,970.

Key player…

The Skilled Park cleaner. He has a busy summer ahead of him with build up of dust and cobwebs expected to reach record levels on the Skilled Park seats.

One to watch…

Former owner and all round lunatic Clive Palmer. Even though he no longer has anything to do with football (thank god), he’s one you want to keep your eye on.

I hear he’s building his own Jurassic Park now. I assume construction starts once his Titanic II is completed…

Full squad list: