ANN ARBOR, MI—In what researchers are calling a significant cultural shift in the way young people are forging new social bonds, a new University of Michigan study revealed Monday that modern dating apps have become the single most effective way for individuals to determine that everyone in their age group was now into kayaking. “It used to be that singles would have to go out to bars, approach strangers, and initiate conversations with people to discover that their generation had taken up kayaking, but our study would seem to indicate that such forthright extroversion is no longer necessary,” said lead researcher Joseph Yoon, noting that Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and other popular apps were now the preeminent tool for finding others in your area who, by all accounts, seem to be spending a lot of free time paddling around rivers and lakes. “Our research shows that nearly 100% of singles aged 22 to 45 are into kayaking now, a figure we could only have guessed at before the advent of these apps. In today’s world, there’s no longer any need to consult your coworkers or friends of friends. Just swipe your finger across your phone, and voila—you have access to a whole crop of strangers your age kayaking and documenting the occasion with photos.” Yoon added that the proliferation of these apps has also greatly destigmatized the once-shameful process of finding out about everyone kayaking.

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