Wednesday night on “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert discussed the sorry low point that some Republicans have come to in the wake of the 2012 elections and the paranoid conspiracy theories that many of them are still clinging to.

Colbert began by saying that he likes to take a moment each holiday season to contemplate the fate of those less fortunate, “and not just because it makes me feel better by comparison.”

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“The Congo,” he said thoughtfully before waiting a beat, then changing the subject.

The people who most deserve our pity this season, he said, are pollsters.

“Just one month ago, everyone was glued to their projections about the race between Barack Obama aaaaaaaand, shoot, what’s his name?” he said. “I’m want to say ‘Cake Bunty!’ No, that’s the name of my pet cake.”

And while most polling firms have been putting their feet up in the wake of the elections, Colbert said, and “in spite of having nothing to ask,” the firm Public Policy Polling (PPP) has continued to poll people about their thought regarding the election.

PPP found, startlingly, that 49 percent of Republicans believe that the now now-defunct group ACORN stole the election for the president. Colbert said, however, that this is just proof that the conspiracy runs deep, “so deep that it doesn’t exist.”

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“And you know what else doesn’t exist?” he said, “ACORN!”

PPP found that 39 percent of Americans say they have a strong opinion about the Simpson-Bowles Act, the deficit reduction package put together by a committee chaired by retired Sen. Alan Simpson (R-WY) and Erskine Bowles, former Clinton Chief of Staff. The polling firm also found that 25 percent of Americans say they have a strong opinion about the Panetta-Burns Act, a non-existent policy proposal that PPP made up to see if respondents would openly lie.

“So, personally I salute PPP for turning public interest statistical analysis into an episode of ‘Jaywalking,'” he concluded.

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Watch the clip, embedded via Comedy Central, below: