Day 55: Happy Birthday, Anna

A/N: Hey guys, I just wanted to let you know that after this chapter, I'll be taking a year-long break from writing again.

...kidding. I'm kidding. Please don't leave.

But I did want to tell you that I am also going to be posting this story, and all my previous ones (even the ones I've deleted) on my A03 account I just made. I'm not moving or abandoning this account, I'm just crossposting there too. The account name is the same as this one (djupcake), so it should be easy to find. Just felt like it was time, you know? Anyway, back to the story.

The greatest gift I ever got from my parents was my high metabolism.

I'm sure it'll come back to bite me in the ass when I get older, but right now I can eat as much as I want and not gain any weight. I'll wake up the next morning feeling just fine too, it's like a superpower. It doesn't extend to hangovers, unfortunately, but nobody's perfect. Hence why my restaurant of choice this year is this hole-in-the-wall diner with the greasiest burgers and fries in the city. I'm officially 24, I'm gonna exploit this as much as I can until I get old and can't eat cheese or whatever.

Jane looks at me in disgust as I eat another fry off our big party plate, "I cannot understand where you put all that."

"In my stomach?" I respond as I dip another fry into my chocolate shake. "Don't be jealous just cause acid reflux made you its bitch."

She scoffs in response. Jane's always been snooty and pretentious but in an endearing way. We were friends when we were kids until her parents dragged her on a missions trip or something, we didn't reconnect until a couple of years ago. I give her shit all the time, and she does the same to me. Real recognize real.

Lilo snickers and grabs a couple of fries of her own, "Birthday girl's got a point."

"Well don't be surprised when you wake up in a few years and your pants are three sizes too small," Jane replies.

"I give it two more years," Rapunzel says as she winks and sips her water through a straw. Like a weirdo.

What an amazing, supportive group of friends. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm surprised I even have friends to begin with. Rapunzel turns to the other blonde woman at this table, "What do you think, Elsa?"

Elsa flinches in the middle of a sip of her vanilla shake, surprised that she's being talked to. It wasn't like she was being ignored, but I did tell them to not ask her any awkward questions so she's not uncomfortable. I guess Rapunzel didn't think what she asked was awkward. She swallows and wipes her mouth with her napkin, "Uh, about what?"

We're all bunched together at this table in the corner of the diner, with three of us one side and two on the other. Guess who's at the two-sided part with me?

I have to keep from glaring at my friends as they've shifted forward in their seats, waiting for Elsa's response. They didn't have any problems with her joining us, so I know they're doing this more to mess with me than to make her uncomfortable. But I still want to make sure they don't cross any lines.

"How long do you think it'll take for Anna's 'superpower' to bite her in the butt?" Rapunzel asks her.

"Oh, well uh…" She looks at me like she's waiting for some sort of approval, I shrug as if to say that she can go ahead and say whatever she wants. "I think she'll be okay. For a little while."

Gee, thanks Elsa.

"So how is it like living with Anna?"

I swear I feel my soul leave my body. I turn to Lilo with a death glare, and she just mouths the word "What?"

"You don't have to answer that, Elsa," I say to Elsa, trying to steer us away from this increasingly invasive line of question. I told them so many times not to make things awkward-

"It's nice."

Wh-what?

We're all looking at Elsa now, with my friends waiting eagerly for her to keep talking and me bracing myself. Did she just say it's nice living with me? I'm not sure how I feel about that.

"What do you mean?" Jane asks.

"I...well it's been nice having her around again, that's all."

This is definitely a conversation that I feel like I shouldn't be around for. In fact, I'd much rather be anywhere than here right now ironic considering this is my birthday dinner. At the same time, I'm hopelessly curious as to what else she might say. She knows I'm right next to her, which means that she knows I'll bring this up the next time we're alone.

Alone? Gah, why does that word sound so weird?!

"So you guys are doing okay after the breakup?" Rapunzel says.

Nope, I can't do this. I can't keep bracing myself for whatever else my friends might ask. "Oh my gosh, you guys," I groan.

"What? I'm just curious."

"Well be curious about something else. Or, you know, let's just drop it. Birthday girl's orders." Now would be a great time for a waiter to come around and get our dishes or whatever, but this diner doesn't have waiters. Who was the idiot that picked this place?!

"Fiiiiiine," Rapunzel says, no doubt feeling accomplished for successfully messing with me. "Well in any case, happy birthday Anna. Twenty-four is a magical time and I hope you make the most of it."

I roll my eyes but can't hide the small grin that appears on my face, "You say that every year."

"And every year I mean it!"

"Yeah happy birthday, grandma," Lilo says before sticking out her tongue. She's only two years younger than me but loves making me feel older than I really am. I want to kick her underneath the table, but I'd probably hit Elsa too. So I just flip her off instead.

"Now would you like to see what your friends slaved over to get you this year, Ms. Reinhart?" Jane says as she materializes a gift bag out of thin air.

"Yes I would, Ms. Hard-To-Pronounce-British-Last-Name." I hear Elsa snicker next to me. At least it seems like she's enjoying herself.

"So remember when we were at that outlet mall a few months back?" Jane continues, wisely choosing to ignore my remark.

"You mean that place where I broke a VR headset after running into a wall?" This time Elsa giggles, I can't lie...it's kind of satisfying knowing that I can still make her laugh. And I sorta missed her laugh. That's an okay thing for me to say, right? It doesn't sound weird at all? Gosh, why am I making this so weird?

"Well, before that happened, we were looking at a certain shop. And I remember you commenting on a certain jacket that you really wanted."

As soon as she says jacket, I gasp, "You didn't!"

Jane nods, she's almost as excited as I am, "We did." She slides the gift bag towards me, "Happy birthday, love."

I respectfully grab the bag and rummage right through the gift wrapping. What's waiting for me is exactly what I'm expecting but still surprising to see: a gorgeous leather jacket with a velvet interior, and a collar with a rose engraved onto it. Jane and I were walking past this clothing store with some pretentious-sounding name and I saw this jacket through the window. When I ran into the store to try it on, I loved it even more. And then I checked the price tag…

"How the hell did you afford this?!" I ask as I unfold the jacket to look at the thing in all its leather glory.

"They had a summer sale going on, and it was like half off," Rapunzel answered. "You probably won't be able to wear it for a few months since it's still hot outside, but it was too good of an opportunity to pass up."

I hug the jacket close to my chest, it's cool to the touch. "Ugh, I really don't deserve you guys."

Lilo snickers, "We know."

"It does look really nice, Anna." I turn to see Elsa smiling and looking at the jacket too, I think she might actually be happy for me. I don't know why I find that weird, I just kinda do. It might be because I don't expect her to be happy for me anymore, which is also a weird thought. Why are all my thoughts so weird right now? Or am I just having normal thoughts and telling myself they're weird?

I'm just gonna try on the jacket now.

It's an awkward thing to do since I'm too stubborn to get out of my seat- I'm pretty sure I almost wack Elsa with one of the sleeves- but I find a way. It fits just right and is as cool on the inside as it is on the outside. "I never want to take this off," I say as I hug myself like the lonely bitch that I am.

The night winds down after that. The conversation turns into my friends roasting me about dumb shit I did in the past. Elsa doesn't chime in with anything, seemingly content with just listening and laughing along with them. I noticed that she was glancing my way a lot, but I don't judge her for that because I feel like I've been looking at her a lot too. I just want to make sure she's comfortable, okay?

I know that's not my job anymore, but I was the one that really wanted her to come so I have to make sure she's still enjoying herself.

When the fries are almost gone, that's when the night really ends. Jane and Rapunzel drove here together, and they both have work in the morning so they leave first. And Lilo leaves shortly after them when she's done ordering enough food for a small village ("Nani would kill me if I didn't bring home food for her and Stitch.") And then it's just me and Elsa, driving back to Arendelle Towers.

She takes the side streets so there's less traffic, but that means it'll take a little longer to get back. Which means more time for conversation. Which is fine.

Totally, absolutely, completely fine.

"Thanks for coming with me tonight," I say to Elsa so it doesn't look like I'm going to ignore her for the whole drive.

She smiles, in the darkness I can't tell how genuine it is, "No problem. Thanks for telling me to come, it was fun. Your friends are nice."

'Heh, yeah they've gotten me through some pretty tough shit," I don't go into details. Especially because some of that shit had to do with her. This is supposed to be a good night, and I'd like those to outweigh the bad ones for once. "I hope they didn't make you feel too awkward though. I told them not to."

"Oh...you didn't have to do that. I'm sorry." Damn it, even in the darkness I can tell the smile's turned into a frown.

How am I so good at making her feel bad? Or maybe it's because it doesn't take a lot to make her feel bad? Either way, this isn't her fault. "No, it's okay. I wanted you to come, but I also wanted to make sure you weren't uncomfortable. This whole thing is still weird, you know?"

"Trust me, I know," she replies, "But tonight was fun. I'm assuming you love the jacket."

"Ugh, yes!" I'm still wearing it, even though I was burning during the walk from the diner to the car. "It makes me just wanna like buy a motorcycle, drive out into the countryside, and get in a barfight with a sleazy trucker."

Elsa giggles, "Well when you get that $100,000, you can make that dream come true."

"Absolutely. Just gotta wait three hundred more days."

"Three hundred and ten."

"Close enough."

"Yeah...you're right…"

Another lull, the same one that sank in when we first got into the car. The quiet streets and the dim streetlights are supposed to be soothing, but they just make the weird tension here even worse. We can't keep this conversation light and breezy, or any conversation for that matter. There are too many things we still have to unpack, too many words that we didn't get a chance to say before, too much history.

Hell, there's a lot of stuff to unpack just from tonight.

I cough, "So hey, um…"

"Yeah?"

Wow, this is harder than I thought it would be. You would think we'd be experts by now at bringing up touchy subjects. Or at least I would, considering my penchant for putting my foot in my mouth. "When we were at the diner, you said it was nice having me around again. Did you mean that?"

A small noise, a slight hesitation, whatever Elsa wanted to say first is something she holds back. "Yeah, kind of," she says instead, "I really did miss you, Anna. I know I probably don't have the right to, but I did. And despite all the stuff that's happened this past couple of months, I'm glad that we're still talking at least."

"Oh. Well, that's fair. I...I think I feel the same way."

"You don't have to."

"I know I don't have to, but- ugh, you know I'm shit at talking about my feelings. You kinda voiced what I was thinking, I guess. Honestly. I mean that."

Elsa doesn't respond, but I know there's something she really wants to say. Her fingers are tapping against the steering wheel. "What is it?"

"Do-do you...is it nice having me around again?"

Damn it. That's a fair question for her to ask because I asked the same thing, but I still don't want to answer it. I don't know how she'll react to any answer I give her, especially the truth. Because the truth is…

"I don't know."

"...oh." She doesn't say anything else. And it's only until we go under the only light on this street that I see she looks hurt. Of course that made her feel bad. Why wouldn't it? She said she misses me and it's nice having me around, and in some twisted way, I said the opposite.

"That doesn't mean I don't like having you around, okay?" I explain, hoping that'll put her at ease. "It just means that I don't know how I feel about it yet. It sucked at first I'll admit, but it's getting better. I'm still confused, that's all."

"That's fair."

"I'm sorry if that upsets you. You were honest with me, so I wanted to be honest with you."

"I appreciate that, and I understand where you're coming from. Tonight...tonight was fun, but it was hard too. I…" She stops again, no doubt biting her tongue to keep from saying something else. But I don't want her to feel like she needs to hide something from me, so I stay silent. After the song on the radio ends, and there's that lull again, she continues, "It hurt seeing you smile and have fun with your friends. It sounds selfish, I know, but it just reminded me that I used to be the one that could make you smile like you were tonight. And I'm not that girl anymore, and it's my fault."

I'm listening to every word she's saying, not just to respect the huge amount of vulnerability she's showing me, but also to make sure she isn't about to break down and cry. Veering us off the road. So far, so good. "But you were smiling and having fun too, right?"

She nods, "I was. But I was only smiling when they were talking about you because that's all I could relate to." Shit, I didn't even notice that. "It's...hard...seeing other people make you happy."

Oh.

Elsa shakes her head, I see a droplet reflecting on her cheek which tells me I'm not doing a good job at keeping her from crying. "Sorry, that was too real. I'm just gonna shut up now."

"Elsa, don't- ugh." I put a hand on her shoulder, remembering that it's the only place I can touch when she's driving that won't make her get all squirmy. This isn't her fault, it's mine for not picking up on how sad she really was tonight. I put her in a situation where she'd feel uncomfortable, where she'd feel unworthy. I have to make this right somehow. "Don't ever apologize for being honest with me. Especially when it comes to shit like this, you need to tell me if I'm making you feel bad. You're my…"

My...

What the...

I have to stop, not to keep from saying anything stupid, but because I don't know what to say. Elsa's quick to pick up on my hesitation though. We're at a red light, so she can safely look at the hand on her shoulder, and then at me. "I'm your what?"

I open my mouth, but it's like someone sucked all the air out of my lungs. This should be an easy question to answer. It should be. It fucking should be.

"What am I to you, Anna?"

It really, really fucking should be easy to answer this, but it's not. It's something I wasn't even thinking about all that much until right now. We're roommates, sure, and that would be the easy and obvious answer. But it's too easy, and it wouldn't be that accurate. I'm still adamant about the whole "not being friends with your ex" thing, so I don't know where that leaves us.

I don't know what Elsa is to me.

She must pick up on that. Or maybe the stoplight turning green grabs her immediate attention because she just shakes her head and focuses back on the road. "I'm sorry, that wasn't a fair question. I kinda put you on the spot, I didn't mean to do that."

I sigh, "Elsa…"

"No, it's okay. You probably don't even know how to answer that, so let's just...drop it for now. I'm sorry. Again."

I don't say anything back, because I don't know what else to say. Instead, I just shift my arm further into the sleeve of my jacket and use it as a makeshift pillow against my window. The streets are quiet and lonely, the city is asleep out here. Soon we'll be in Central Arendelle, soon we'll be at Arendelle Towers, and soon we'll be at our room. Soon this night will be over.

Happy fucking birthday, Anna.