They both know there are NO superhero costumes allowed. If they were younger and just had to go as Ironman or Wonder Woman I’d probably allowed it, but to date, there have been no such requests. For those of us old enough to have kids and for those you are young enough to dress up and go trick or treating, don’t be a schmuck and buy some cheap-ass $25.00 batman costume. You have enough imagination to play a fantasy game where you battle kobolds and demons, cast fireballs at your enemies (and sometimes party members if they don’t move) and describe in great detail how you landed the killing blow on the BBGE. If you can do that, you sure as hell can figure out how to make a ranger outfit or wizard costume. Go bold and become an orc…you may even have the green paint left over from that year you went as the skinniest hulk ever. Have fun with it, be original, and fuck the people that look at you and wonder, “I don’t get it. Which superhero did you dress up as?”

So when I get to the door of one of our neighbors and they ask my son, in that condescending voice, what his costume is, I’ll want him to say “ I am the great master thief Robilar! There is no treasure that I cannot steal!” I’ll chit chat with my neighbor for a minute or so, say our goodbyes and head off to the next house. Hopefully, we’ll be there before they realize my master thief has stolen all their candy.

Don’t be a Cheap Fuck (unless you have to be).

I’m fairly pissed off that the GM Binder Kickstarter stalled out at $50K. Yeah, yeah…I know that is a lot of money. But other Kickstarters pull in 2x that amount, and they don’t even have a viable product to show people. GM Binder has been around for a while, and they are planning on improving on an already amazing product. Dump Stat donated all the money we have made for the year (it wasn’t that much, trust me) and we both kicked in some personal cash. Why? Because we use GM Binder almost every single day and it’s the right thing to do. The people over at GM Binder have put a ton on time and effort into creating a product that is head and shoulders above what’s out there and if you are a creator, I’m willing to bet you’ve used it, and if you use it on a regular basis the least you could do is throw them a couple bucks. If you’re anti-Kickstarter because of the union issues going on there (Don’t get me started on this subject), they have a Patreon, and you can help them out that way.

Now, I get it. Lots of people cannot afford it, and I respect that. Between medical bills, crushing student debt, unforeseen expenses, or just plain old everyday life expenditures, your bank account always seems to end up negative every month. I’ve been there. The average person’s student debt these days is over double what it was in the early 1990s, but the unemployment rate was high then and no one wanted to hire a recent college grad like myself. Money was tight and every month was an uphill battle. I had the internal debate at the end of every month whether to pay rent on time or buy beer. Thank the gods my landlord was cool.

All I can tell you is that it does get better, and you should focus on eating, rent and paying the rest of your bills. Eventually, you’ll be in a place to throw a buck or two to someone or something you love. It may seem like you may never get to that point, but if I can get there, so can you.

Magical Eyeglasses, Needles & Stockings.

I enjoy going through some of the older books and magazines I have. It gives me inspiration for some of my homebrew, plus it’s fun to see the notes 14-year-old me wrote in the margins. My handwriting was actually legible, and the ideas weren’t as left field as they are today. Going through some old Dungeon Magazines, I got caught up reading Thiondar’s Legacy, more specifically, The Stone of Gul and Thiondar, a magical stone of great power and a terrible curse (1991, Dungeon Magazine #30, pg.42-67). This, in turn, led me to an old copy of Encyclopedia Magica Volume 1 (1995) and down the rabbit hole I went.

5th Edition is said to be a lower magic setting than the previous editions. Not sure if that is true or not, as any DM worth their salt can adjust the campaign and setting as they see fit. I don’t want to get into that debate in this column, but I will say that there are much fewer ‘official’ magic items in the game today. The number of magic items found in the DMG has been slowly decreasing over the editions, and while you can always find new and unique items in the hardcover adventure books, there just don’t seem to be as many as there used to be. Xanathar’s expanded upon the types of objects that could be made into magic items, but it still pales to early D&D. It’s so much easier to create and find homebrew items online, WotC cannot be blamed for reducing the overall number you can find in official print.

What struck me wasn’t the amount of items (and there was a lot), but the diversity of the magic items. We all love wands and swords, but how about Wings of the Dragon, the Hammock of Protection, or a Fire Eye Monocle? I had forgotten the wide variety of everyday things that were made into magical items of one sort or another. There were magical eyeglasses, powders, stockings, and cabinets just to name a few. Some objects only got one magic item to its name, such as the OG of all mathematical equipment, the Abacus (of Calculations). Others, like the Dart, got over two dozen magical items to their name. So don’t think you’re being all creative when you create a Flail +2. Go bold and give them a Blowgun of Wild Emotions and watch the hi-jinks begin.

Here’s a link to a couple of old school magic items I converted over 5th edition. Enjoy!