Just last week, military brass vowed that the force of the future would be "smaller and leaner." Apparently, the Army's taking that pretty damn literally. They want smaller, leaner soldiers. Their best idea to do it? Give GIs transplants of extra fat cells.

Seriously. In the Army's latest round of small-business research awards, they've green-lit a proposal to manufacture transplantable brown fat cells, all in an effort to catalyze rapid weight loss. Portlier soldiers, you might recall, are turning into a major dilemma for top brass. An estimated 75 percent of today's young Americans are either too fat, too sickly or too dumb to serve. The Army's even overhauled their fitness program, in part to accommodate softer recruits, by swapping long runs and grueling drills for yoga and calisthenics.

Leg lifts and downward dogs, however, don't offer much of a calorie-burning boost. Brown fat tissue, however, does. At first glance, the idea of adding fat to get rid of fat doesn't exactly add up. After all, thousands of Americans dole out mad cash to have flab sucked out, not put back in.

The distinction comes down to varieties of fat: Humans carry pockets of conventional fat, or white adipose tissue. They also carry brown adipose tissue. And recent research has confirmed that the stuff's pretty damn special: It burns a ton of calories – around 250 calories over three hours in one study group – and actually sucks energy out of conventional fat cells to fuel its fire. Research even suggests that additional pockets of brown fat can be created by exercise.

The Army, however, would rather see soldiers drop pounds like the Real Housewives – with as little effort as possible. They're funding a team at Boston University to "generate human [brown adipose tissue]" for subsequent human transplantation. "Obesity and its associated metabolic complications...are becoming increasingly prevalent in military personnel," the Army's research award notes. "Increasing [brown fat] by about 50 grams in obese patients could induce strong weight loss and improve metabolic status."

Researchers plan to isolate a brown adipose progenitor cell – cells that, similarly to stem cells, are able to differentiate into more specific types – and then generate additional brown adipose cells in the lab. From there, they'd be able to offer "transplantation therapy" to portly personnel.

Of course, plenty of uncertainty about brown fat's promise still lingers. For one, researchers aren't sure whether appetite's increase in conjunction with brown fat stores, keeping weight in stasis. And they don't know how brown fat affects metabolism and weight loss in the long-term.

But if brown fat really can catalyze weight loss and permanently boost the body's own metabolic rate, military personnel are hardly the only ones who'd line up for treatment. And civilian companies have already taken note: One Boston company, Ember Therapeutics, recently raised $34 million in capital funding to investigate pharmaceuticals that'd convert white fat to brown.

That said, fat losses aren't synonymous with fitness gains. In other words, the soldiers of the future might very well be smaller and leaner. But without rigorous exercise, they'll still, sadly, totally suck at CrossFit.

Photo: Courtesy of Out of Regs