Lantigua-Williams: How did you pay for it?

Silva: My addict friends and I would go to stores and do what’s called “boosting.” Two or three of us would get together and go to Target, and one of us would be the lookout for the getaway driver. We’d go inside and grab three or four packs of clothes: Levi’s pants, stuff that we knew we could sell.

Lantigua-Williams: Stores have security guards and alarms. Didn’t the police show up?

Silva: While actively using, I don’t care about you, I don’t care about myself, and I sure as hell don’t care about no police. The police don’t like me. I don’t like them. They’d get the dogs. I’ve been bit by the police dog. That dog bites and he does not let go. I’ve been shot at. I’ve been tased. I’ve had batons thrown at me. I’ve had flashlights thrown at me. All of that, and I still kept using. I was using against my will because once you’re in that lifestyle, it totally consumes you. We don’t even think about the consequences.

Lantigua-Williams: How did you end up in drug court?

Silva: The last time, I did three years. I got out and four days later I was busted again. I did another six months, and when I was getting ready to get released I woke up at 3 o’clock in the morning. I felt sick. I felt like I was going to vomit. I couldn’t breathe. I was getting claustrophobic, like I was inside a box. I was having an anxiety attack. I needed to go outside, and opened the window to breathe fresh air. I ran to the bathroom, threw cold water on my face. I looked in the mirror. It’s not glass, it’s not a real mirror. It’s a little chrome plate, but I could see myself. The person that I saw made me sick, because I finally realized I have a problem. I can’t stay out of Orange County Jail. The first thing I wanted to do when I got out was use. After doing six months again for the same thing, I wanted to go use.

Lantigua-Williams: Did you have access to any drugs while in jail?

Silva: In jail, there’s everything you need: heroin, alcohol, pills, meth, weed. There’s all of that.

Lantigua-Williams: Were you still using when you were inside?

Silva: Somewhat. You have to hang around with the right crowd. Once you’re with your own race, eventually something’s going to come your way. In jail, drugs is like going to Starbucks and getting something to drink. It’s there, you just got to hook up with the right people.

Lantigua-Williams: How did you pay for it?

Silva: You do favors. “Hey, make a couple of phone calls for us. Call your family, get some money, put it on your books. This is my number. All right, call up my girlfriend.” That’s the way it works.

Lantigua-Williams: Are there any programs in jail for addicts?

Silva: They have some programs in there, some AA and NA meetings. But there is such a big population that when you’re living on the third floor, on certain days of the week, they would have two meetings, and they would basically get on the intercom and the deputy would say, “The first 10 people to the gate can go to the meeting.” You got 95 guys in a jail cell. Forty of us want to go, but they’re only going to take 10. Whoever gets to the gate first is going.