Today I went to see a gynecologist to get an IUD. It was the first time I’ve seen her and I chose her randomly on the internet.

She first asked me some questions and then asked me to take all my clothes off except for my bra (it would have been nicer to tell me to keep my shirt on and remove it later but whatever). I sat on the chair and waited for her to come back.

First thing she said when she came back was : “Have you always been overweight ?” This made a bit confused because I didn’t expect that question (no gynecologist has ever asked me such questions) and because I don’t really think of myself as “overweight”. I’m surely not thin, but I’m a size 40 (in France ; that would be a UK size 12 and US 10), I dress in normal shops and have rarely experienced fat hate. I answered yes.

Then she asked me : “Is that the maximal weight you’ve ever been at ?” The way she said this, it really sounded like “How could you possibly be that fat ?” At that moment, I started feeling upset. I answered that I didn’t know, which is true because I don’t weigh myself (I really don’t care about a number). She told me I should weigh myself.

After she finished to take her samples, she told me in a very directive manner to weigh and measure myself. Then, while I was putting my clothes back on, she told me that she calculated my BMI and that I was really overweight and nearly obese with a BMI of 29. WTF. This shocked me so much that I answered very angrily : “I’m certainly not obese !” Not that I think it’s a bad thing to be, but like I said, I didn’t even think of myself as overweight.

- “Your BMI is 29, obese begins at 30."

- "BMI is calculated with only two criterias, and does not take into account many others.”

Then she said in the most condescending tone : “And what criterias have you made up ?” MADE. UP. At that moment I thought about throwing her speculum through the room to her head and to get out of there without paying, but sadly I didn’t do it. Instead, I told her about the inequal repartition of fat, muscle, and stuff between people, but she did not give a fuck. How could she ever think it can be relevant to categorize people with that index ?

I spent the rest of the appointment so shocked and upset that I did not even listen to what she said. Whatever, I won’t ever go back there again anyway, I’ll find another gynecologist.

When I arrived home, I immediately burst into tears. I regret so much not to have left earlier, not paid, insulted her, done the speculum thing, well, whatever that could have signified her that it was not normal to do what she has done. I’ve always been quite insecure, and that made me really feel like shit.

I’m supposed to go to the restaurant with my boyfriend and two friends tonight, but how could I go and eat without feeling guilty and bursting into tears now that she made me feel like I was a freak ?