AN: Hello my good people! This is my first fanfiction so please be gentle on my feels when it comes to comments. I just wanted to do my own take on an IF story by Tappei Nagatsuki. So yeah I don't much to say other than to hope that you enjoy my story. My first chapter will basically be a recap from the scene in episode 18.

Edit: New ending to this chapter was added due to some critics/friends from Reddit. Thanks guys you know who you are.

Disclaimer: I do not own Re:Zero and it's characters. All rights apply to the creator; Tappei Nagatsuki. Enjoy :D

COVER ART BY: ScribbleCate

Chapter One: From Zero

"I've had enough. Let's run, Rem. You and I can't stay here. We shouldn't be in this country!" Subaru's chest began to ache. Grasping at his chest he squeezes to distract himself from the pain. He is unable to withstand all the emotions circulating through his mind; sadness, guilt, hatred, and fear. All the emotions he collected upon his various loops never subsided. Clinging to him like leeches, sucking at his will to save Beatrice, Ram, Emilia, and all the defenseless villagers. All of which found their own parts into his heart creating something he didn't have in this world; a family.

He just couldn't do it anymore. Subaru saw no answer in sight. What was he to do? He was only a hopeless boy from another world trying to make sense of his whereabouts. He had no skills, He couldn't put up a good fight, and he only had his stupid cocky attitude. Hell! He couldn't even take down three street thugs in his own!

Useless. That's how Subaru classified himself, he no longer had hope for a future in which he saved the Roswaal Mansion from undergoing a massacre by the Witch's Cult.

"Let's get a dragon-drawn carriage and head west. We'll leave Lugunica and go far west… To Kararagi, was it? We'll buy a little house and live there together." In his mind Subaru knew that if he couldn't save the estate from collapsing and it's occupants, all of which he had grown to love, from dying he sure as hell wasn't going to let Rem suffer the same fate… again. "Even if bad things happen I'll be happy knowing someone is waiting for me at home with a smile."

Saying these words felt like a betrayal to Emilia. While in this new world he only saw himself with Emilia. Her cute personality and her naive nature only complemented her beautiful looks. But with Return-by-Death it felt like weeks to Subaru that he began to love Rem. When Emilia refused to trust him and left him in the capital he couldn't help but feel abandoned. Subaru only wanted to help protect her from the dangerous people that fear her because of her elfish blood. After she left he no longer felt the burning attraction he had towards her as he did when he first laid eyes onto her.

If Subaru could find a way to save Emilia he would. Without a doubt Emilia didn't deserve to die especially to the hands of the cult. However, Subaru couldn't save her. Even when he had her safe in a previous loop she still died in his arms. Subaru didn't want anymore of it. Not that he'll stop the death merely, he'll ignore it. But his main priority now was to keep Rem safe. She was his staple, the only thing keeping him together. He internally vowed to keep Rem alive since the first time he saw her dead, lying in a pool of her own blood in the garden of the Roswaal Mansion. Since he couldn't save Rem while pursuing the Witch's Cult he only came to one conclusion:

"Please run with me, Rem!" Yelling out these words Subaru bent his upper body forward in a bowing position refusing to look up at Rem, fearing for the worst.

"Subaru-kun…" At these words Subaru lifted up his head to look at the source of where the angelic voice came from.

Rem looked back at Subaru with blue eyes full of wonder. The soft wind blew her short, blue hair to the side. Her black and white maid uniform shifting slightly in the wind. Rem clasped her hands together, raising them and holds Subaru's hands in hers.

"...Rem can't run with you. It is too sudden, too unlike Subaru. What about Lady Emilia? You would be leaving her too."

Subaru looked down sadness overcame him emptying and hope he had for his future with Rem. "I see…I didn't expect you to agree Rem, but I wanted to at least try."

"Subaru-kun, why do you wish to leave? What has changed that has made you want to leave...me." Rem pauses before implying herself. Subaru picks up on this.

He didn't want to leave her. Was she not listening? In a surge of emotion Subaru stepped back, let go of Rem's hands, and yelled, "REM, YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME! I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU! I WANT...I WANT YOU TO….to come with me." His voice was interrupted my by sudden chokes and slowly became smaller until it was just a whisper.

"But why? What is so bad here?"

Everything.

Subaru needed an answer but he couldn't tell her the truth. She either wouldn't believe him, go to the mansion, and die or she would believe him, run back to the mansion, and die. Subaru had to save her, he wanted her and needed her because Subaru wasn't sure he could survive all on his own. If it came to that though, he would just kill himself and start over. A lie. He needed a lie.

"Nothing is bad here." Lie one. "I need to leave for a while. I don't know how long though. I just don't want to see Emilia for now." Lie two. "I want to find out how to get back to where I came from, my home." That wasn't a lie but it did pop up in his head.

"Subaru-kun, do you miss your family?" Rem reapproached Subaru, he didn't back away.

"Yes."

"I do too. So I understand how Subaru-kun feels. Perhaps some time away from Lugnica is what Subaru-kun needs. What will you do when you get to Kararagi?"

At this point Subaru was sure Rem wasn't coming. So as his voice described his plan to get a manual labor job and live in Kararagi for a year or two, his brain was thinking of different ways to end his life quickly.

Rem gave her own opinion of Subaru's plan, "Subaru-kun will not be able to survive alone with such low education on the written language. But Subaru-kun is very sad so time off would do you good. Maybe….Rem will accompany Subaru until he is ready to come back." Rem says the last few words into her cupped hands all the while a blush started to form on her cheeks. This caused Subaru's mind to do a complete 180.

"Wha-what? You will? Rem, you have no idea how happy this makes me!" Subaru hugs Rem who in return burrowed her cheek into his chest.

When they unlatched from each other Rem advised they go back to Crusch-sama and ask her to inform Roswaal to take them back to the Roswaal Mansion to inform them of their decision. Subaru however knew that once they arrived to the mansion everyone would be dead.

"We can't!" Subaru's sudden outburst surprises Rem.

"Why not?"

"Because if we go there I might see Emilia and I don't want to see her."

"Then I'll go inside and inform Master Roswaal and you can wait in the carriage at the mansion's gate."

"But I don't want you to leave me!"

"What do you suppose we do Subaru-kun? We can't just leave out of the blue."

Subaru had a feeling Rem would sa this so he told her his plan; "We can go back to Crusch-sama's and inform her of our departure and our reasons why. We'll ask her to relay the message to the Roswaal Mansion."

"But...Nee-sama."

"Don't worry Rem. It won't be the last time you see her." His biggest and ugliest lie.

"Subaru-kun is right. Rem will follow you wherever you go and keep you safe. Hopefully Nee-sama won't hate me when I come back." Rem gave a worried expression.

"Don't worry Rem," Subaru said again, "you're her younger sister. Ram would never hate you."

"Subaru-kun is my greatest hero."

Subaru felt guilty hearing those words. He was no hero. He couldn't save everybody and now he's given up. There's nothing else he's willing to do other than running away.

After they told Crusch of their absence they took a dragon carriage and headed for Kararagi. Crusch told them that a messenger would be sent at once at the Roswaal Mansion. Subaru knew that the messager wouldn't meet a single live person there.

AN: So there's that. This is the base of where my story will take off. I don't know how long I'll make this series but I'll try my best to make it as long as possible while also keeping it interesting. I'm still in high school so my updates will not have set dates and who knows how long it'll take to update. But I'll try my best! Thanks!