The hallmark of bullying is tearing someone down because you�re�insecure about yourself. When it comes to Texas� ever-swirling cross-metro rivalries, they perpetually hate us �cause they ain�t us.

The Austin-San Antonio war of microaggressions has mostly run its course. Last week, a Houston Press listicle�tried to start something. Depending on your loyalties, their attempt at shade seemed�less like a solar eclipse and more like a puff of smoke.

�Austin has had a reputation for being Texas�s strangest city since at least the early �70s, and has become a magnet drawing in a constant flood of visitors,� the article begins before the author explains that they�ve lived in our fair burg, which they love, �off and on since the early �90s.�

That love doesn�t exactly pop off the screen. Behold:

� The most cherished of pastimes for Austin�s many enemies ��and those who have fought us and lost so badly they just don�t know what to do � is trying to tear down our thriving dining world. It seems such a waste of jaw muscles to denigrate a city�s restaurant scene instead of tasting�a taco, but the Houston Press article treads a�tired tortilla-paved path:��Do you like black beans? A LOT? How about breakfast tacos? Does standing in line for hours to buy trendy barbecue sound like fun to you? If so, congrats, because you�ve found your culinary heaven in Austin.�

Yes. And?

The Houston Press article�s attempted dragging of our food scene tries to give some shine to our late-night eateries, at least. It also mangles�the names of several restaurants: Magnolia Cafe becomes Magnolia Grill, Franklin Barbecue is rechristened Franklin�s BBQ and Hopdoddy Burger Bar enters the culinary�protection program as Hopdaddy�s.

Other than that, it�s the same exhausting spiel about breakfast taco invention and long lines. There�s a curious�barb�about Austin�s allegedly embarrassing Mexican food options, which seems like a rather broad swath to cut. Also, the author writes that �Hopdaddy�s� is a �gimmicky� burger place that might just be a marketing ploy, which is snicker-worthy since H-Town has its own locations of the Austin-based franchise. More side-eye fuel: Killen�s Barbecue in Pearland builds quite the meat queue, too.

RELATED: Austin360�s Top 25 restaurants of 2016

Besides those backfiring shots against Austin�s eats, Houston Press� list rests it head�on the sound-proof pillow of subjectivity.�Because of course, �if a person if coming from a�great�food town like Houston, it�s a bit underwhelming.� Remember, a Via313 pie or a bowl of Torchy�s queso tastes much better than cognitive bias.

��Clutch your pearls, friends. Austin�s not weird anymore, according to this article. As you have now been scandalized to the point of repose upon your chaise lounge, take a moment to collect yourself.

Has Austin�s �Slacker� vibe of yore eroded? South by South-yes. Do the proud old-timers often mourn some nebulous concept of �old Austin�? As surely as they miss Liberty Lunch. No one is under the delusion that �Keep Austin Weird� isn�t a marketing slogan. There are T-shirts, for goodness� sake.

�Houston is a much stranger place, its gritty landscape teeming with strange features that Austin lacks,� according to the list. But how�s that proverb go? Let those whose skylines aren�t a brutalist�cemetery of huddled�concrete monoliths; whose highway system doesn�t resemble a dystopian Chutes and Ladders game for giants; whose main industry isn�t a Jed Clampett fever dream; whose most plentiful attractions aren�t wealth-girded museums rejected from location scouting for Tom Ford�s �Nocturnal Animals� for being too opulent � well, let them cast the first stone.

Austin�s�still got a guy in a thong who rides around on a bicycle. We�re doing OK. Remember that Arcade Fire wrote a whole album about the Houston suburbs, but�they weren�t exactly love songs.

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The four-item list has some fair points:

� Yes, our cedar pollen is trying to kill us. The Houston Press calls the �toxic mix� of allergens a more pernicious terror than Austin�s traffic, which we will concede is a torture reminiscent of the Spanish Inquisition. However, we would counter that living in Houston ��itself a city so humid that walking down the street requires swimming lessons, that even alligators have bad hair days�� is no less an environmental hazard.

� The steady march of development in Austin has indeed displaced minority communities on the east side, as investigated by the American-Statesman in 2015. The precarious state�of Austin�s cultural arts scene, too, is the target of demonstrations and city initiatives�alike.

So, Austinites, despair not. Cities change. All of �em. A city is only as weird as its residents. As long as you take a dip in a spring-fed pool smack in the middle of town; or watch a chicken poop on a bingo card and share the road with a flock of peacocks; or host a giant citywide musical festival each spring; or house�an urban colony of bats; or bring�hippies, college kids, yuppies, artists and Texas legislators side by side, you�re plenty weird.

Just make sure to protect it, or else you might end up looking a little more like other cities we could mention.

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