DALLAS—Confirming that the woman he has been dating since last year is “the whole package,” local man Tim Gurtz told reporters Monday his absolutely perfect girlfriend, Sasha Klein, blames herself for everything. “We get along so well we hardly ever fight, but when we do, she immediately backs down, says it’s all her fault, and then apologizes,” said Gurtz, adding that he knew Klein was the perfect girl for him on their first date, when he was 40 minutes late to meet her at a restaurant and she blamed herself for having made the reservation too early. “Whenever I’m feeling upset or frustrated, she’s always there to put her arms around me and tell me she’s to blame for everything. She’s just the best.” At press time, sources reported that Klein had broken up with Gurtz after blaming herself for not being good enough for him.

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