Cocktail Competitions are a difficult and competitive sport to be involved in, so a few Birmingham Bartenders and NUBI have decided to help you out. Here are a few tips on how to take the gold home from your next Cocktail Comp:

#1 Make your own bitters and talk about them extensively.

Tell everyone in the room how you’ve spent five months infusing your orange and angelica root bitters to create the perfect flavours that enhance the spirit in question. Also mention how much it cost you in blood, sweat and tears, but only casually as you don’t want to sound like you’re whining about it…

#2 Talk about your travels around Europe to find the perfect ingredients.

Your gap year was a life-affirming and eye-opening experience and everyone in the room wants to know all about it. You spent 3 months in Italy looking for the flawless Vermouth that complements whiskey in your Manhattan more than the Mirror in Snow White. Everyone needs to know.

#3 Be arrogant.

When has this ever not worked out for you?

#4 Use all the unnecessary adjectives to describe your products.

Your Waitrose apple juice is of the highest quality, so scream it from the rooftop. Slimy egg whites can be beautiful. Ice Cubes? Diamond-like. Obviously.

#5 Wear a Tuxedo.

Only peasants spill liquid on themselves. Wear a tuxedo to show everyone who’s in charge. Arrogance? Check.

#6 Accentuate the foreign names of drinks midway through your sentence.

Enunciate the silent ‘T’ in Lillet.

“Now to complement the gin in question, 15ml of LILLAYYYYY will be added”

These bitches need to know just how well travelled and knowledgeable you are when it comes to fortified wines. Rinse it.

#7 Refer to yourself as a Mixologist.

You’re not just a Bartender. You’re the M&S of Bartenders. You don’t just make a cocktail. You become one with the cocktail. You are the cocktail. You live and breathe it.



#8 Smoke your cocktails with a ridiculous amount of herbs.

Only the finest French oak wood chips, liquorice root and pixie dust will complement your imaginative twist on the classic Negroni. Your audience will eat this up.

#9 Be pretentious with your preparations.

Oh, you’ve chilled your vintage 1920’s crystal brandy snifter in an artic igloo for seven months? Well, TGI’s legend Rob Cartin chilled his for nine months AND it was guarded by a polar bear carrying a shotgun. We can all see who the real winner is here. Sorry pal.

#10 Correct the judges.

They can’t taste the courgette and basil puree in your cooler? Well, their taste buds are obviously all sorts of wrong. Correct them if they taste the wrong notes. Stand up for what you know to be true. What do they know about the product they’re judging?

#11 Bring your own ice.

Your ice is better than the venue’s very own frozen water. Bring enough for you and you alone to make sure that you have the best quality. It also shows just how prepared you are. Oh, and make sure to mention you’ve got your own ice balls. Cubes are for the rookies of the industry. Winning.

#12 No garnish is too ridiculous.

Impress the judges by putting a god damn garden on your drink. Less is more? I don’t think so buddy. If I want a lime wedge, rose bud and slice of ham because it complements the flavours of the beverage in question, then in it goes!

#13 Have your own music playing.

Once again, your music is better than the venue’s so give everyone the privilege of listening to your very own, carefully selected tune. The song you’ve chosen has a routine that goes with it? Jazz flute is never a bad choice. Own it.

#14 Serve your drink with a cheese board.

Why wouldn’t you do this?

#15 Narrate your shake.

“By doing the London shake, the three-point movement means the ice cubes circulate around the tin, chilling the liquids. This gives the drink the best possible standard. It’s the new way to shake a libation.” Edgy…

#16 Crystal Glassware.

You should only be using the crème de la crème of vessels. Does your old-fashioned crystal cut glass costs more than your house? Do some flare tricks with it and really impress the judges. Oh, and call it a vessel as well. 10 points to Gryffindor!



#17 Release your model potential.

You will be surrounded by the paps during and after you’ve gone through the battle of making your drinks, and now is the time to shine and show off your efforts. Make sure your shaking face is on point and when you’re at the finish line, strike a pose.

#18 Wear a microphone.

So what if the judges are an arms length away? You need to make sure your voice is heard!