MEDFORD, OR—Overcome with humiliation after being stopped on his way out of the office and informed his backpack was wide open, local billing specialist Dennis Lee, 30, reportedly stood stock-still Friday as coworker Mike Faziola zipped the bag up for him. “Oh, hold on, your backpack’s open. Let me get that,” said Faziola, as Lee—standing in full view of numerous colleagues—gritted his teeth, bent his knees slightly, and squeezed his shoulder straps tightly in his fists while he waited for the act to be over. “There you go. Don’t want your stuff falling out onto the street.” Sources confirmed that Lee’s few remaining shreds of self-respect were then swept away when, without any warning, Faziola grabbed the shame-ridden man’s sweatshirt hood, which had gotten twisted and bunched up underneath his backpack, and straightened it out for him.

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