1. Bob finally made an honest man of Mike! Congrats to both!

2. The secret ingredient to the breading is centipede.

3. The Fire Island Chick-Fil-A is packed today!

4. The Chick-Fil-A flash games just added a Pride Parade level for “Dan Cathy’s Chick-Fil-A Adventure”.

5. Congrats to Tina and Nancy on their adoption!

6. Our new spokesman, Daniel Tosh, will be signing autographs!

7. Buy two chicken sandwiches this week and get a double ended dildo absolutely free!

8. Wow! Our customers sure are in shape!

9. Remember, if you launch into a screed about how hate-filled our company is, you get a free order of fries!

10. We are currently out of Westboro Baptist Church action figures for the kids meals.