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"Of Anger" added 11/1/2014

When complete, this will be a series of twenty short philosophical reflection pieces centering around surviving the destruction of Vulcan (T'Khasi) after the Narada's interference. Each entry is written from the first person perspective of a survivor now relocated to the settlement on New Vulcan. Surakian philosophy will be used to dissect and rationalize the logical and emotional responses to the tragic loss of the Vulcan homeworld's distinctive and complex culture within a given theme. Detailed anecdotes for each Reflection in regards to Surakian philosophy and specific cultural information are included and shown at the bottom of the page.

For reference to the teachings of Surak in greater detail, I encourage the reader to explore { kirshara . wordpress . com }. This site contains an extensive archive explaining T'Khasi culture and history and is home to a project for the ongoing translation of the Surak's Analects in both Federation Standard (FSE) and Modern Golic Vulcan.

Reflections of T'Khasi will be offered in both Federation Standard (FSE) and Modern Golic Vulcan for the benefit of spreading knowledge and furthering works in the language of T'Khasi. Click the Chapter Listings tab to switch over to the Golic language version.

For more information and forums about translation go to { www . korsaya . org }

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Current detailed updates of all my stories are available on my profile page. Thank you for reading! Cha'i t'naat!

Reflections of T'Khasi

- The Vulcan Diaspora -



"Disciplines that can be abandoned in times of hardship when disciplines are most needed are no disciplines at all."

- An excerpt from Surak's Third Analects

I. Of Grief (T'tushat)

All of us have fallen like grains of sand upon the Sas-a-Shar, dispersed into the vastness of the infinite All, into the great ordered void.

We weep knowing it is not rational, but how does one find logic in this time of our Immeasurable Loss?

For millennia, our mastery has stood between us and certain annihilation; it has been the cement of our civilization. Now, it is through the acts of one Sundered that we find ourselves stripped of our rationality again.

There is no validity to coincidence, yet it is by means of another's time that we have arrived to this point.

Is it the impact of our past, of the still open wound of our separation between T'Khasi and her passions through Surak's deliverance, or is it merely through fault of those who infringed the great barrier from an alternate time?

Logic dictates it could be both, either or none.

But as I look up to the infinite expanse of stars, my logic fails me.

Nevasa will never again shine so bright and the haunting call of the teresh-kah will cry no more.

II. Of Silence (T'ralash-fam'es)

Gol no longer stands silent in reverence, but silent in spirit.

Her once towering peaks no longer cast their cooling shadow upon the people of T'Khasi; the fierce le-matya no longer is tamed nor finds succor in her shade.

The Kolinahru's vigil has ceased and no longer do the Masters stand as our patient guides; the steadfast pillars of Total Logic have crumbled.

A great breathless wind strafes across the vast Forge to the Pasutra t'Tai-la, unseeing, indiscriminate, merciless; unawares to all logic.

It whispers throughout the twisting caverns of the monastery before traveling onward beyond its walls, to waste.

It's pilgrimage is sacrilege; it follows in the footsteps of the acolytes in its course up the thousand steps of Mt. Seleya.

It steals away the last moments of our Dawn before it suffocates the fires of our ancestors whom once burned eternally within its sacred walls.

Now, the honored firepot no longer fumes; it has been snuffed out. The smoke only lingers above the chilling embers of our collective loss.

The reassurance of our ancestors sings out upon deaf ears, only in our Consciousness.

The Urns of Memory have been shattered upon the ancient hewn floors, the katras of our forefathers strangled in one unforgiving breath.

Silenced for all time, the songs of our ancestors are only sung in the hearts of those that have been spared.

But for the physical shell that remains, we have in fact not been spared of an absolute silence which persists.

I stand amongst the survivors of our race, at least what is left of the many, of the innumerable grains of sand now cast aside.

I stand in silence, extinguished.

III. Of Fear (T'pthak)

I remember as the burning skies reigned down upon the sacred Forge, as the ground shook and great Seleya collapsed in the distance. The dust of so many golden ages fell upon us in this upheaval.

I recollect how the children lost their control and cried out helpless, distraught; what was once the safety of home now meant to swallow us all.

Everything in flames, T'Khasi was consumed by the Ket-cheleb of legend, towering over us hungrily, greedily.

Unconscionably.

I shielded my eyes and turned away.

Away, only to stare blindly out into the darkest of days through split fingers, peeking out towards the devastating pyre on which remained what was left of our noble and ancient race. For all of our Burning Blood, I believed there was none of us whom could have withstood such overwhelming adversity.

Immobile, I remained entranced, caught in the sublime realization that my very heart was blackening to ashes, collapsing within me with the rest of my world. I survived in that moment to only see everything I have ever known reduced to tinder and dust.

I worked to compose myself, to find enough discipline to look within for strength and order; a teaching, an axiom, a wise phrase passed from our ancestors to guide me. But there were no such words that could convince me, no logic left to propel me on a true course. There was only the visceral ache as my heart turned to cinder in my side, as the embers of it floated up towards the stars to entwine with the All, and the rest of me remained unmoved.

I wanted to take a futile step forward to action, any action, but I was capable of only stumbling back. I fell flat, supine, useless into a burning house; my eyes closed tightly as I visualized my life seared away to nothing, my katra released to the airless vacuum of space to be one with nothing, as if one had never existed at all.

Instead of running, I lay still, head bent and quaking, in contact for a few moments more with the hearth of our origin. Inert, stupefied, engulfed.

I am no hero, and barely even a survivor; only my inaction served to spare me, and my advantage over so many now lost was mere inability.

What could I have done?

What could any of us have done?

In those last moments I turned to pure energy while countless others were left to char; I ascended into the safety of the heavens, unable even in escape to urge my hand forward, to grasp fruitlessly one last time at what little remained.

Surak teaches us to cast out fear, that there is no room for anything else until you cast out fear.

Despite his example, of which saved our people so long ago in the Awakening against improbable odds, I had surrendered to sleep in this burning house, willing its collapse.

Let it take action when I could not.

Let the timbers of this blazing manor fall, the walls to brace inward.

Let it do what it must as I was unable, for I remain still of the hearth.

IV. Of Anger (T'reshan)

Parted from me, yet never parted; ever and always touching and touched.

Ripped from me and torn asunder, I felt an overpowering burning within my heart in the final moments of T'Khasi's destruction.

I was safely aboard a freighter only hours from home, and you; you were so close I could smell the kevas incense in your hair.

So close, I could almost feel the heat of Nevasa on my cheek.

Suddenly, I found that I could only gasp and clutch helplessly at the bulkhead as I heard your last thoughts sear across my mind, your final anguished screams emblazoned on my very soul as our world was rendered to insignificant debris.

I reached out for you, every tendon and muscle taut and aching, slammed my fists into the metal plating knowing the action was futile. I knew in moments it was already too late.

As I closed my eyes and tried to make sense of your terror, I could never have calculated the total ruin I would soon face. I could only visualize you in our home in T'Paal, reaching towards the heavens as helplessly as I towards you across empty space.

Diverted away, I had soon discovered there was not even a body to recover, not a home left to grieve in. Nothing of our lives together remained.

With each breath I now take, I am reminded of the great emptiness of your absence and am crushed by the imprint on my soul of your last breath. I find this involuntary action of breathing is the only remnant of our lives once intertwined.

In reflecting upon the great wisdom of Surak, he teaches us that "Where fear walked, anger was its companion." I remember when we would study The Analects together, how I took those words to heart, secure in their guidance and trusting that through careful discipline neither of us would know anger or fear.

But in feeling your dread and death, now I can not help but think that I have nothing left, least of all to fear, after the total annihilation of my home and of all that I have ever known and cherished; of everything in the physical realm that defined me as an individual.

And of you.

At times it seems that all I have left is to stumble drunkenly full of my own anger; Ket-cheleb destroyed all that was precious to me, yet I seek him out as sole comfort and companion. I seek his strength and indomitable will where I have none left of my own.

But it is illogical and it is wrong to succumb to one's desires, especially when motivated by an emotion as dangerous as anger.

Yet, I routinely find myself at a loss in meditation, lacking discipline or logic, unable to satisfy this need in me to lash out against those who have wronged all of us. As our world was consumed in fire, so is my very heart consumed with the overwhelming need to take action, to tear those who would hurt you, to rip them apart and leave them as I am left; with nothing.

But, I know that to do such a thing would only serve to make me as depraved and corrupt as those who so mercilessly obliterated most of our entire race.

As in life, the wisdom and rationality of your example pulls me back and sobers my step. It would be a disservice to you and to the life we once shared together to allow anger to rule. In the end, while I find it immeasurably difficult to live without you, how would allowing my anger to reign change any of this?

What is, is. (Kaiidth.)

You are gone and all that is left is me to honor you.

Parted from me, yet never parted, I will always remember you with each labored breath.

To be continued in the following Reflections...

V. Of Revenge (T'ran-pleth)

VI. Of Injustice (T'ri'yeht-gav)

VII. Of Darkness (T'mu'gel'es)

VIII. Of Pain (T'kusut)

IX. Of Dissolution of the Self (T'fezhaya t'shai)

X. Of Meditation (T'kohlan)

XI. Of Existence (T'kya)

XII. Of Logic (T'ozhika)

XIII. Of Change (T'rubah)

XIV. Of Mastery (T'tren)

XV. Of Legacy (T'visak'a)

XVI. Of Light (T'hagel)

XVII. Of Forgiveness (T'pabukh'es)

XVIII. Of Peace (T'sochya)

XIX. Of Acceptance (T'naran)

XX. Of New Beginnings (T'uzh-palikayalar)

Cultural Reference Notes:

1. The opening excerpt is from Surak's Third Analects, and is mentioned in the novel Vulcan's Soul: Exiles by Josepha Sherman and Susan Shwartz.

I: Of Grief

1. Sas-a-Shar is the name of the desert that extends from the capital city of Shikahr, Vulcan.

2. The All or Nome, is a central concept of Vulcan philosophy and states "An infinite variety of things combine to make existence worthwhile."

3. "The Immeasurable Loss", or Va'Pak, is the term used by Vulcan's to describe T'Khasi's annihilation by Nero.

4. "Logic is the cement of our civilization, with which we ascend from chaos using reason as our guide." is a quote attributed to T'Plana-Hath, one of Vulcan's greatest philosophers from before The Time of the Awakening. Surak was a student of T'Plana-Hath, and she is often called "The Prime Mover of Logic."

5. The Sundered are Vulcans who left during Pre-Reform, who eventually become better known as Romulans.

6. Nevasa is the name for T'Khasi's sun. It is better known as 40 Eridani A.

7. A teresh-kah is a silver winged predatory bird that would be typically found flying over the Forge.

II: Of Silence

1. Pasutra t'Tai-la, the Plateau of Tai-la, is a sacred plain where adepts fulfil the final rites before becoming a Kolinahru.

2. Vulcans are telepathically aware of each other in a collective consciousness although as individuals they function autonomously.

3. The Hall of Ancient Thought was attached to Mount Seleya and housed the vre'katras containing the essences of T'Khasi's most revered ancestors. An 'Urn of Memory' or vre'katra is a sacred crystaline vessel made of volcanic glass called jasif, and contains a single katra. (The Way of the Kolinahr, Last Unicorn Games)

III. Of Fear

1. Ket-cheleb is known as The Drinker of Blood, the god of anger and destruction, an entity who consumes mercilessly. He is the most dangerous and malicious of ancient gods, and an archetype who evokes great fear from within the Inner Chorus.

2. The reference to Burning Blood compares the situation of T'Khasi's destruction to the madness, entropy and loss of control experienced in pon farr. Much how a Vulcan is a victim of their own biology, they are also a victim in this scenario of personal devastation and terror outside of their control.

3. A hearth is the ground within a fireplace or brazier; not to be confused with Earth.

4. "There is no room for anything else until you cast out fear" is attributed to Surak. While one must acknowledge that fear exists, you can also not simply pretend to not be fearful. Acceptance of fear is the only way to conquer it. One must experience and move through this emotion; in that way, it is possible to move beyond it and in turn, past the Unknown.

IV. Of Anger

1. "Parted from me yet never parted..." is the traditional phrase said between intended bondmates during the koon-ut so'lik, the Vulcan marriage proposal, as well as at the beginning of the kun-ut kali-fi marriage ritual.

2. Kevas is an organic compound burned in Vulcan homes and shrines as ritual incense. It is commonly traded by Vulcan merchants, usually in tandem with trillium.

3. T'Paal is a larger settlement located southwest of the monastery of Gol and overlooks the Voroth Sea.

4. Kaiidth is a common axiom repeated amongst Vulcans which reaffirms the futility of arguing or fighting against a state of events that are immutable.