I THINK we could all learn some valuable lessons from the sex lives of panda bears.

While this statement is clearly something I will be forced to talk through with my therapist next week, I promise that there is some sound scientific reasoning behind it.

Scientists from China and the US have released their findings from a study of the mating rituals of giant pandas today, and the results are quite extraordinary and very romantic.

The study, conducted over the course of two years, found that giant pandas have the best, and possibly only, sex of their lives when their partners sing them a love song beforehand.

These love songs are even whispered into the panda’s fluffy ears during intercourse, which is just extremely romantic in my opinion.

I mean, who doesn’t love a good serenading every now and then?

Lurking scientists then recorded these sexy panda vocalisations and analysed them back in their lab, concluding that the sweet songs are “crucial for achieving behavioural synchrony and signalling intention to mate”.

The study examined 23 adult giant pandas during the 2016 and 2018 breeding seasons in Sichuan, China.

All the subjects were sexually active, responsible adults. The scientists clearly had no time for bedroom rookies.

The subjects were kept in a sort of tawdry sex enclosure, where they were introduced to their one night stand and observed by researchers from afar.

A real mood killer.

Each session recorded sounds that were described in the study as “bleats, chirps, moans, barks and roars”.

Apparently, some of these sounds indicate that the sex is about to get violent and could leave one of the pandas with serious or life-threatening injuries.

As a result, the study recommended that animal caretakers should be trained to recognise the different vocal behaviours of their pandas in order to predict “successful copulation versus … likely failure”.

“This could also provide a valuable tool for breeding programs,” the study found.

The more you know, right?