Well, I’m calling it.

The West has had a full frontal lobotomy and the remains of civilised society should probably move to a nuclear silo in Nevada and start prepping for the end. If that can’t be done, the next best thing for it would be to hijack the spaceship to Mars and simply start over again.

Proof of the insanity that now prevails was blasted across the known universe when Caitlyn Bruce Jenner – a man – ‘graced’ the cover of Vanity Fair as a woman (whatever that word means these days).

Of course, everyone who is anyone jumped on the ‘trans’ bandwagon. But instead of demonstrating that mere willpower can transition a male into a female, they instead simply showed that functioning brains can transition into useless, vestigial organs in a devolutionary blink of an eye.

If you are one of those poor unfortunates who have imbibed from the cup of delusion and think that Bruce Jenner is a woman, let me try to explain the facts of life. Again.

And I’ll do it slowly.

A woman is a woman.

A man is a man.

A man is not a woman.

A woman is not a man.

Anyone who thinks that a man can become a woman is an idiot.

If you don’t understand this, then you, too, are an idiot.

Ditto if you find any of this offensive. As a matter of fact, your distorted feelings are an offensive affront to truth and reality.

If all of that still makes no sense to you, then let me try another way.

Pretending that Bruce Jenner is a woman is insanity: it is the same thing as pretending that I am superman. Or the moon. Or a woman.

And insanity can be dangerous. For example, did you know that Bruce Jenner and his transgender buddies are merely one form of the ‘trans’ disaster?

There are actually people who claim to be ‘transabled’.

You guessed it. Transabled people are disabled people trapped in an able body. They self-harm to ‘gain’ a disability. Like One Hand Jason from Canada, as reported in the Toronto Sun last week:

When he cut off his right arm with a “very sharp power tool,” a man who now calls himself One Hand Jason let everyone believe it was an accident.

But he had for months tried different means of cutting and crushing the limb that never quite felt like his own, training himself on first aid so he wouldn’t bleed to death, even practicing on animal parts sourced from a butcher.

“My goal was to get the job done with no hope of reconstruction or re-attachment, and I wanted some method that I could actually bring myself to do,” he told the body modification website ModBlog.

Give it a decade or so and we’ll all be bigots for kicking up a stink that transabled people are getting all the good spots out the front of the local shopping centre and a lifetime disability pension at our expense.

But let’s move on. I’ve got a riddle for you: how many operations does it take to turn a man into a woman?

The answer is a little tricky and it all depends on whether you want the truth, or the conventional wisdom.

The truth is that no amount of surgery can turn a man into a woman. And the conventional wisdom is basically the same: it doesn’t take any surgery at all to turn a man into a woman.

We know this because Australia’s most famous male woman, Group Captain Cate McGregor, has told us so. It’s a long and complicated story, so bear with me while I explain.

Last week it was reported that the Australian Defence Force has spent over $600,000 in the last two and a half years on ‘gender identity’ ‘treatment’. However, the article’s headline was really quite deceptive because that figure only relates to sex change surgery costs and the fees associated with ensuring that the collective cleavage of our military is larger than it used to be.

The real figure is much higher and includes the cost of hormone treatments, counselling, psychological assessments, leave, gender-acceptance training, policy development, stress leave, indoctrination lessons, studies and, quite probably, free stress balls.

That’s all well and good especially as it’s not like the Australian Defence Force budget is under any strain at the moment. After all, rule 101 of common sense is that a military happy to fritter away the nation’s taxes so that its male soldiers can wear larger bras is likely to be frittering away the nation’s tax dollars on other useless inanities as well.

But back to McGregor. His picture was included in the story, presumably because he’s been the poster boy for transgender soldiers who want to be women who want to be men who want to be soldiers.

This got up McGregor’s nose. He was all upset at the implication that his ‘transition’ had cost the taxpayer. So he tweeted this about Ian McPhedran, the journalist who wrote the article:

@Purr_LOF There are plenty of decent people at @newslimited . I am about to be one them I hope! But McPhedran is simply bottom feeder. — Catherine McGregor (@CateMc3273) June 11, 2015

And he also dropped the bombshell:

@theheraldsun I am the person in this picture. I have not had ANY taxpayer funded gender related surgery. I repeat NONE Clarification? — Catherine McGregor (@CateMc3273) June 9, 2015

And then the article was re-written to make the point even clearer:

“[McGregor] has not yet had a sex change operation.”

So there you have it. McGregor has not had any surgery. He’s all there, baby.

But in a world where reality is irrelevant, he’s also apparently a woman. As they say, never let the facts get in the way of a good story.

In the big scheme of things, it doesn’t matter whether McGregor has personally had his hormones and psych assessments funded by Defence because, in general, Defence is paying for hormones. And it is paying for breast enhancements. And it is paying for ‘sex change’ surgery. And McGregor has been out and about campaigning for transgender ‘rights’ in Defence – so much so that he’s even admitted that his actions as a military officer have probably thrown a wedge inside the Liberal Party, which just happens to be the party of government today.

So it makes no sense at all for McGregor to be upset about this article. Campaigning for transgender rights and then protesting because you might be seen to be utilising them is like pretending to be half-pregnant. And you look ridiculous in the process.

But, then again, this seems to becoming a habit. In all of last week’s brouhaha, McGregor also managed to find the time to give Bruce Jenner some advice. Here it is:

“I hope [Jenner] learns a little bit more about womanhood and trans-womanhood before she pronounces too much on it.”

The irony. It’s killing me.

Thankfully, the media dropped Jenner to pick up the next trans wonder story. This ensured that McGregor’s advice was relegated to the back pages of Australian news webpages and will hopefully go no further.

I guess we should be thankful for the small mercies. I simply don’t think I could have handled Cate and Caitlyn going at it across the Pacific over what it means to be female.

On the downside, we must now suffer through the farcical claims of self-identifying ‘transracials’ who whine that they have been oppressed because the truth of their heritage and fraudulent past has been flung out of the closet.

If you haven’t been following this story, Rachel Dolezal has been leading the Spokane branch of the National Association for the Advancement of Coloured People and has presented herself as African American. Now her parents have revealed that Rachel is actually white. Her response was to give the finger to her mother and father and claim that she is ‘transracial’. That’s just left everyone confused, as demonstrated by this quote from the National Post:

“Jenner is transgender; though Dolezal may be “transracial,” this much less widely accepted term may have no meaning.”

If anything has no meaning, it is that sentence. Whatever idea masquerading as ‘logic’ that one uses to reach the conclusion that Jenner is a woman necessarily entails accepting that Dolezal is also black.

All I can say is that for everyone’s sake it would have been much better if Rachel claimed she was Chinese. Then we could have all been living in a Seinfeld episode:

Now, where’s that Martian spaceship?

UPDATE:

The great thing about being sensible is that it gives you a chance to laugh at the ridiculousness of the current situation.

This photo is brilliant!