Ask A Manager, 12 March 2014:

I was written up at work yesterday due to a single comment that I made. Last week, I was frustrated with a woman employee who failed to meet a deadline on a simple task (not the first time she’s done this) and, while blowing off steam, one of the things I said was that it’s a good thing she is pretty. I did not mean this is in a derogatory way. I was simply frustrated and this woman is not above me in any way; she is entry level. She also did not tell me immediately that I had upset her at all; the next I heard about it was from my manager. I would like to question why formalities were initiated – I feel this was unwarranted for a single, isolated comment and that an apology would have been sufficient. Can I do this? If so, what is the best way to approach it?

Broads, man. Broads. Always getting their snooty little panties in fuckin’ wads over some little piddly shit like reducing their entire human worth to their physical attractiveness, measured on an ever-sliding scale of unattainable perfection according to the arbitrary whims of some fucking dude at work.

Can’t fucking tell anyone they’re barely worth the skirt they’re wearing anymore, all this fucking PC shit about “blah blah blah casual sexism is a demonstrable manifestation of real-world systemic oppression that permeates through all interactions humans have as social beings raised in a culture that privileges certain expressions of heterosexual cisgender masculinity inkity tinkity yarpity blarfity” and “yadda yadda it’s important to maintain a level of professionalism between supervisors and entry-level employees that does not in any way associate the quality of their work with their sex or gender presentation dippity dippity doodah.”

Moreover, this female didn’t even come straight to you and complain after you expressly implied that her job would be in danger had you not personally found her to be such a hot piece of ass, no, she had the fucking gall to complain to your fucking boss like it’s any of their fucking business what door your knob wants to open, as it were. Now you’re in fucking trouble for just bein’ the honest, forthright appreciator of women’s bodies that you are, which: REVERSE SEXISM!!1!1!!!!!!

You absolutely deserve to know why this woman’s expectation that she not be overtly sexualized in a work environment by higher-up employees is such a big fucking deal–after all, you were only trying to tell her that she’s pretty fucking great in the special and beautiful way that only broads can be great, which is to say the way in which they are great for doin’ it with. You can only be sexist if you mean to be sexist, and you didn’t mean to be sexist because your smart fucking monkey brain magically operates outside of literally every one of the cultural and social norms that serve to perpetuate patriarchy.

You should should bust the fuck into your humorless, boner-killing manager’s office–that way they see that you’re a fucking dude who means fucking business because he is not a fucking patriarchal buttbag RAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR–and demand to know why these “formalities” were introduced when all you were fucking trying to do was tell this n00b that you’d do her a solid–GET IT? HAHAHAHA–if she asked.