Something that I have tried to convey in previous articles is the idea that spiritual knowledge and psychological distress go hand in hand. Truth awakens our inner demons, causing them to flee from the reapers. The same principle applies to spiritual gifts or special talents. Blessings are always accompanied by curses. People who are exceptionally gifted are often eccentric in some way, and people who are handicapped in one area sometimes excel in other areas.

If we insulate ourselves from the negative, this prevents us from experiencing the positive. In this post, I will discuss the need to expand our spiritual capacity so that we are able to take the good with the bad. Practical applications include the following:

Healing, especially as it relates to mental health and personal resilience. Receiving revelation and understanding the mysteries of God. Unlocking dormant spiritual gifts. Enduring trials, especially the calamities leading up to the Second Coming.

In years past, we could get away with not learning how to stretch ourselves. But in coming days, it will not be possible to survive without applying this skill. That’s because God is flooding the earth with knowledge (see Moses 7:62), and there is not a thing any of us can do to stop the process.

What power shall stay the heavens? As well might man stretch forth his puny arm to stop the Missouri river in its decreed course, or to turn it up stream, as to hinder the Almighty from pouring down knowledge from heaven upon the heads of the Latter-day Saints. (D&C 121:33)

This reminds me of the childbirth metaphor. When active labor begins, there is nothing anyone can do to stop the baby from coming. The mother must learn to feel the rhythm of the contractions and go with it. Little by little, her cervix stretches as it dilates. This causes discomfort, but it is what must happen in order for the baby’s head to get through. The baby’s soft skull also adjusts to the pressure as it is squeezed through the birth canal.

We can see that the ability to stretch and adjust is vital. When something that is unyielding is put under pressure, the result is catastrophic.

No man putteth a piece of new cloth unto an old garment, for that which is put in to fill it up taketh from the garment, and the rent is made worse. Neither do men put new wine into old bottles: else the bottles break, and the wine runneth out, and the bottles perish: but they put new wine into new bottles, and both are preserved. (Matthew 9:16-17)

Both of these analogies deal with stretching. Anciently, wine was sometimes stored in containers made from animal skins. New wine would expand as it fermented, causing the wineskin to stretch. If unfermented wine were to be stored in a wineskin that had already been stretched out from prior use, the bottle would break. Similarly, it’s a bad idea to patch an old garment with a new piece of cloth. The garment has already shrunken, but the patch has not. So when the patch shrinks, the garment will not be able to adjust, resulting in a tear.

Jesus shared this message in response to a question that came from some of the disciples of John the Baptist. They wanted to know why Jesus’s disciples, unlike those of John, didn’t fast very often. Jesus was saying, in essence: “I do things a little differently. You need to learn to adjust and go with the flow.”

As the saying goes, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. This implies that there is no hope for people who are set in their ways. But the fact of the matter is that all of us have the ability to stretch, as long as we make it a conscious effort. Before our souls can expand, we must shrink back down and return to a virgin state. Before we can learn, we must deliberately choose to unlearn what we knew before.

Little by Little

This insight about stretching came to me by revelation a few weeks ago after reading an article in The New Yorker entitled “The Challenge of Going Off Psychiatric Drugs.” This article triggered a lot of thoughts and feelings, and it resonated with some of the concerns I have regarding the medical community.

The mental health crisis that I went through was relatively short-lived, mostly because I was determined to figure out how to beat it. Even though I only took medication for a few months, I found that the process of withdrawing was quite difficult and unpleasant. For those who have taken multiple drugs at high doses for years, withdrawal must be a nightmare.

I withdrew from medication completely on my own, without consulting a doctor. This might seem unwise, but for some reason I didn’t trust doctors to understand why I wanted to do this. Reading the article in The New Yorker confirmed to me that my instincts were on target. Doctors are good at prescribing drugs, but there is not enough literature on how to stop taking those drugs. It’s not really in the psychiatrists’ interest to help their patients become fully self-reliant, because that would put them out of work.

When a person is told that they have depression, anxiety, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, or some other mental illness, this diagnosis can become a part of that person’s sense of identity. They think of themselves as a cripple—someone suffering from a “chemical imbalance.” Their doctors confuse temporary setbacks with long-term conditions. But as they come off medication, they find that emotional extremes are not unmanageable. This reminds me of the boy Colin in The Secret Garden. It took the help of a friend for him to realize that he wasn’t a dying invalid after all.

Many people fail in their attempts to withdraw because the rebound effect is just too furious. I experienced this myself. In my stubbornness, I thought that if I was strong enough, I could just power through the unpleasant symptoms. But I learned that this is simply not possible. The body and mind must become acclimated to major changes, little by little. In many cases, a two-week withdrawal period is much too fast. It must be done incrementally over the course of a few months. To make an analogy, if you haven’t been exercising, you can’t just decide that you want to run a marathon tomorrow. It’s not physically possible. You have to train for it consistently and build your capacity over time.

Something else that the article confirmed to me is that mental health issues have everything to do with privilege. I wrote about this in my post “Motes and Beams.” Modern conveniences and economic prosperity can give us the illusory feeling that there is a solution for every discomfort. As a result, we treat emotional swings as problems that need to be solved, and we never learn how to suffer.

It felt like a revelation, she said, to realize that “the objective in being alive isn’t the absence of pain.”

The secret to healing and recovery is the dialectical progression, which I have written about many times. We get access to the power of God when we learn to internalize and synthesize two opposites: acceptance and action. It’s like rubbing two sticks together to generate fire. We must be able to feel the conflict of opposite forces when we are tempted to act one way but make the deliberate choice to act differently. This is how we overwrite old tendencies. If our sense of privilege leads us to believe that we should shield ourselves from all discomfort, then we will never be able to progress. Going back to the childbirth analogy, if the mother is medicated too heavily during labor, she is not able to feel the contractions and push at the right time.

The political divisions we see today reflect the separation and externalization of the dialectical struggle. Conservatives are action-oriented, and progressives are acceptance-oriented. The conservative mentality is characterized by stubborn ignorance and dulled sensitivity. It plows through life pretending like there are no problems. The progressive mentality is aware of the problems, but is paralyzed by a sense of victimhood. Their sensitivity prevents them from taking action. The curse of privilege (i.e. discomfort avoidance) plagues both sides, and so they fail to come to any kind of reconciliation.

Because the older generation has not been able to figure this out, the younger generation is paying the price. Karma is beginning to come full circle. Young people have grown up on a diet of false expectations, and they are not equipped to deal with the fallout that inevitably results when life doesn’t measure up. This is why mental health problems are on the rise. We must take responsibility for this tragic situation. It’s like we’re sending our young people to the front lines of a battle, armed with rifles, when the enemy is cutting them down with machine guns. Children should not have to suffer for the sins of their parents.

I want to reiterate that knowledge is the culprit. Knowledge is the source of stress and anxiety. Young people are on the front lines simply because they spend more time on the Internet and on social media. They are more connected and aware of what is going on in the world, but they are not equipped to deal with that awareness.

It might seem strange to say that knowledge is deadly, but it’s true. If God were to reveal the fullness of his knowledge to us all at once, it would literally kill us. Our brains simply don’t have the capability to process intensity of that magnitude. Sometimes, God brings mortals into his presence while they are still in the flesh. Those who are given this privilege must first be transfigured. I believe that this is an actual change to the physical body. Moses understood the need for transfiguration.

And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed. But now mine own eyes have beheld God; but not my natural, but my spiritual eyes, for my natural eyes could not have beheld; for I should have withered and died in his presence; but his glory was upon me; and I beheld his face, for I was transfigured before him. (Moses 1:10-11)

The story of the latter days ends with the righteous being brought into the presence of God while still in their bodies. God is preparing us for that day by opening the floodgates gradually. For some people, it’s already too much. We must learn how to expand our capacity for receiving knowledge, otherwise we have no hope of surviving.

Hurts So Good

An important skill taught in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is called opposite action. It means to deliberately take action that is in direct opposition to how you feel. In the language of the scriptures, this is called faith.

We normally describe faith as belief or trust in the unseen. But thinking of faith in terms of opposite action gives us a better grasp of what this principle really entails. When we exercise faith, we take action in opposition to our natural, self-protective tendencies. The natural man is skeptical and untrusting. Faith pulls against those tendencies in the pursuit of unseen spiritual promises.

In the absence of perfect knowledge, our spirits and bodies are at odds with one another. The spirit is drawn to truth, but the flesh fights against it. Faith is choosing to listen to our eternal spirit, despite the natural man’s complaints. What we need to realize is that if there is no opposition, there is no faith. Faith is not an absence of doubt. Faith is when we reach out to God in spite of our uncertainty. We need the natural man. If we consider the great prophets who performed mighty works and miracles, such as Nephi, Moses, Enoch, and the brother of Jared, we can see that every single one of them was plagued by intense feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. What made them exceptional was their willingness to stretch themselves in the pursuit of truth.

Our minds naturally flee from contradiction. But we progress spiritually when we learn to embrace and lean into that tension. That’s because our spirits intuitively understand that God himself is a contradiction, and we are drawn to the union of opposites.

The first step that we must take in our journey back to God’s presence is to exercise a particle of faith. This means that we entertain an idea that contradicts our preconceptions. We plant a seed in our heart. At first it feels uncomfortable. It might even hurt a bit. But as the seed grows, we get used to it over time. And after a while, we might even start to like it.

Truth is deceptive in the sense that when we have accepted and embraced a new idea, we may have the feeling that we have arrived and that we can rest in a state of resolution. But it is actually the friction of opposites rubbing together that unlocks the power of heaven. Unresolved tension is not simply a hurdle that must be jumped over. It is our final destination. Religious dogmas are relative truths, but the unity of opposites is absolute truth.

Leaning into contradiction is a counterintuitive skill. The material world is governed by scarcity. Phrases such as “no pain, no gain” and “there’s no such thing as a free lunch” have been drilled into our heads, making us believe that if we want a reward, we must suffer first. So embracing contradiction, in defiance of scarcity, often feels indulgent or too good to be true, and we are perplexed when the experience of “suffering” is surprisingly pleasant. We can have our cake and eat it too. It feels like we’re breaking the rules and cheating the system. We think to ourselves, “This seems so wrong, but for some reason it feels so right.”

That confusing, achy, wrong-but-right feeling is the seed of faith that we must plant in our hearts and entertain in our minds. We can compare it to a tiny spark. If we’re afraid of it and run away, then it will quickly die out. But if we make sure that it has a constant supply of fuel and oxygen, it can grow into a robust fire.

Let’s go back to the incident when the disciples of John the Baptist asked Jesus about fasting (see Matthew 9:14). John and his followers lived an ascetic lifestyle. They may have been associated with the Essenes, and if so, it is very likely that they were celibate. Since John made it clear that Jesus was to be his successor, it is natural that John’s disciples would be confused by Jesus’s seemingly indulgent behavior. Some of Jesus’s disciples, including Peter, were married. They didn’t fast very often, and they weren’t very strict about honoring the sabbath, at least not as strict as the Pharisees. So for John’s followers, the idea of indulging in pleasure stretched them, perhaps to the point that it hurt a little.

Faith is believing that good things are available to us, even if we don’t deserve them. Our spirits know that this is true. The fruit of the tree of life is within our grasp. All we have to do is reach out and take it. The only problem is that our hands are, well, puny.

Blessings beyond our wildest dreams are fully accessible, but the only reason God doesn’t give them to us is because we haven’t demonstrated that we have the capacity to receive them. As I said at the beginning, blessings are always accompanied by curses. So God doesn’t want to give us something that will be too unwieldy for us to handle. This is why he requires acts of faith. We do not earn blessings through our actions, but the small efforts we make to stretch ourselves show that we are ready to accept greater responsibility. It’s as if God is saying, “Hold out your hand. There’s something that I want to give you.”

Byzantine mosaic in the Cathedral of Monreale, Sicily

And, behold, there was a man which had his hand withered. And [the Pharisees] asked [Jesus], saying, Is it lawful to heal on the sabbath days? that they might accuse him. And he said unto them, What man shall there be among you, that shall have one sheep, and if it fall into a pit on the sabbath day, will he not lay hold on it, and lift it out? How much then is a man better than a sheep? Wherefore it is lawful to do well on the sabbath days. Then saith he to the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it forth; and it was restored whole, like as the other. (Matthew 12:10-13)

The man with the paralyzed hand was healed because he entertained the idea that he could receive that blessing, and he demonstrated, by the simple act of reaching out, that he was ready for it. The Pharisees, on the other hand, were like old wineskins. They could not be stretched any further. They had no capacity to receive anything beyond what they already had.

Giving Ourselves Permission

When the traveling Israelites were bitten by poisonous serpents, Moses was commanded to make an image of a serpent and set it on a pole. All who looked at the brass serpent were healed (see Numbers 21:6-9). The Book of Mormon gives us additional information about this incident, telling us that many of the people perished because they refused to look.

Why would they be so unwilling to do something as simple as look at a brass snake? According to Nephi, it was “because of the simpleness of the way, or the easiness of it” (1 Nephi 17:41), and Alma said that “the reason they would not look is because they did not believe that it would heal them” (Alma 33:20). These are valid explanations, but if we read between the lines, we can guess that in the culture of the ancient Israelites, looking at such an image was taboo.

First of all, the people had been commanded to not worship any graven image. They remembered what happened when Aaron made the golden calf. So the more conservative among them probably considered the brazen serpent to be a violation of their law. Because they had been taught to distinguish themselves from everyone else, they would have regarded the symbol as pagan. We also need to think about what the serpent would have meant as a symbol at that time. In the ancient world, a snake or pair of snakes wrapped around a pole or tree was a common motif, representing fertility, renewal, as well as the duality of good and evil. The wily snake symbolizes the deceptive nature of relative truth, while the pole represents absolute truth.

To really understand the snake, we have to go back to the story of the stolen fire, a mythological explanation of thunderstorms. The fiery, rope-like lightning was equated with the snake and its painful bite. The snake is also a phallic symbol, and the fire stolen from the gods represents the power of procreation. This is evidenced by the fact that in Hindu culture, snakes are associated with Shiva, who is also worshiped in the form of a phallus. In the story of Adam and Eve, the serpent represents sexual desire. In some depictions of the story, the serpent appears not as Satan or Lucifer but as Lilith, an erotic feminine demon.

Knowing that the brazen serpent carried strong sexual overtones helps us better understand why some of the Israelites didn’t want to look. It made them very uncomfortable. They considered it inappropriate, vulgar, and borderline pornographic. To them, it seemed completely wrong, and not even the promise of healing could get them to overcome their reluctance.

Young people who have grown up faithfully living the law of chastity sometimes run into difficulty when they get married. What was previously forbidden is now not only allowed, but required. After years of suppression, they have to suddenly switch gears and unlearn everything they had learned before. Not everyone has this problem, but for some, sexuality is not a matter of doing what comes naturally.

This reminds me of the movie The Incredibles. The children had been forbidden from fully exercising their superpowers. But when they found themselves in serious danger, they had to use all the tools in their arsenal. They weren’t used to that much freedom and responsibility.

The article that I read about withdrawing from medication recounts the personal history of Laura Delano, a woman who was prescribed nineteen medications over the course of fourteen years. While on medication, the drugs had fully suppressed her sexuality, and after withdrawing, the feelings that she began to experience caught her off guard. At first, she felt like a child.

“It was so uncomfortable and foreign to me that I didn’t know what to do with it,” she said. “It was as if that whole part of my body was coming online again, and I had no idea how to channel it…I felt occupied by this overwhelming power.”

Sexuality is characterized by a feeling of tension. It’s not unlike what you feel when you are frustrated or struggling with something. So for someone who has no experience, it might seem surprising or counterintuitive to realize that the power of sexuality is activated by leaning into and chasing after that tension. Why would you pursue something that kind of hurts?

I enjoy classical music, and I have played the violin ever since I was a young child. But despite many years of experience, I have always felt like there is something lacking in my playing. If I manage to get a good sound out of the instrument, it is because of learned technique, not natural talent. Recently, I have been able to put my finger on what the problem is. I realized that the mournful, achy sound of a violin played well feels like looking at a dirty picture. The resonant friction of the bow pulling over the strings in a back and forth motion feels too intense, and I subconsciously shy away from it. The best violinists lean into that tension and cultivate it.

I have explained previously that sex is a spiritual symbol. We experience sexuality in mortality because it helps us understand, in an intuitive way, the manner by which we acquire spiritual knowledge. We learn through opposition. The lesson of the brazen serpent is that healing comes from self-awareness. After we have been bitten by the serpent (i.e. commit sin), we experience the burning pain of guilt and shame. The antidote is to look at ourselves honestly and try to understand why we succumbed to temptation. Seeing ourselves in the light can be painful, but it also brings relief because we are no longer hiding. Once we face the awful truth and come to grips with it, there is nothing to be anxious about anymore. Grace is activated when we lean into the tension of self-knowledge and relax the urge to resist, completely surrendering to chastisement.

The juxtaposition of opposites is quite intense. When we are presented with the difference between who we are and who we have the potential to become, that knowledge can be overwhelming. It’s like looking at a very bright light. So in order to be able to endure that intensity, we have to build up our capacity. This is what mindfulness is all about. Mindfulness is when we are aware, but do not react. We have to be extremely honest with ourselves, and we must gradually strengthen our ability to accept what we perceive without fighting back. If we notice something that causes us distress, we give ourselves permission to feel bad.

The graphic image of Jesus dying in agony on the cross is meant to teach us the same thing. It’s truly horrific, and seeing something like that in real life could cause post-traumatic stress. We heal from trauma when we learn to look at life with a certain detachment. It is what it is.

Wherefore, we would to God that we could persuade all men not to rebel against God, to provoke him to anger, but that all men would believe in Christ, and view his death, and suffer his cross and bear the shame of the world; (Jacob 1:8)

Another way we can strengthen our mindfulness muscles is to develop an appreciation for art, music, and literature. I think that in former times, it was understood that the purpose of nudity in art is to learn how to fully take in and appreciate the beauty of the human body without losing control and giving in to lust.

I have found that in recent years, my musical abilities have improved, simply because I spend less time practicing and more time listening to good music. Instead of trying to force emotion or make beauty happen, I try to be more honest with myself about how music makes me feel. Sometimes, I feel nothing, but other times, the music really resonates.

Remember that tension is necessary. When giving ourselves permission, if we feel no trepidation, uncertainty, or unworthiness, that’s a problem. If accepting something new seems too easy, then perhaps we are not really prepared. A young child might think he can handle a power tool, but overconfidence can be deadly. Wisdom is knowing our limits and being deliberate about pushing those limits. We learn what our limits are by continually asking God to show us our weaknesses. We can never be satisfied. We must always hunger and thirst after righteousness.

Untapped Abilities

In the scriptures, the hand or arm represents power, influence, involvement, and intervention. So stretching our arm means that we expand our capability and influence. When the scriptures refer to God’s arm being outstretched, this refers to his kindness and willingness to extend divine aid.

And how merciful is our God unto us, for he remembereth the house of Israel, both roots and branches; and he stretches forth his hands unto them all the day long; (Jacob 6:4)

We exercise faith when we reach out and grab God’s outstretched hand. This makes a connection between heaven and earth, allowing the power of God to flow through. It’s like being a lightning rod.

Faith is inseparably connected with hope. If we trust only in what we see, then we will be overcome with despair. That’s because the universe, from our mortal perspective, seems to be a place in which chaos always triumphs. Efforts to establish order can only succeed temporarily, because things fall apart. Faith must be rooted in correct knowledge—that is, an understanding of an unseen spiritual reality that contradicts temporal reality. When we have correct knowledge, we know that good triumphs over evil and that order triumphs over chaos. This is why Moroni said that “despair cometh because of iniquity.” It is a sin to reject truth, and the truth is that divine help is always available to us.

And Christ truly said unto our fathers: If ye have faith ye can do all things which are expedient unto me. (Moroni 10:23)

When Christ says “all things,” this really means all things, which include mighty miracles and unusual spiritual gifts. We really are superheroes; we just don’t know it yet. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that before Christ comes again, people will be walking on water. If we are not able to perform miracles, it’s only because we don’t believe that we can.

The other day, I was thinking to myself about how cool it would be to have the power to see into the future and prophesy like Nephi or other great prophets of old. When I had that thought, at first I dismissed it and felt guilty about it. I told myself that that was my pride talking, and that I was having delusions of grandeur. But the Spirit told me that it’s not wrong for me to desire this. I learned that I already have this gift, and my mind was directed to different times in which I have exercised it. For example, I remembered that several months before my youngest daughter was born, I was able to clearly perceive her gender and personality characteristics. The things that I perceived have proven to be accurate.

Since then, I have tried to put this power to the test on other occasions. A lot of the time, I feel nothing, but I have felt the spark of foreknowledge a few times. These premonitions have turned out to be on target, and this has given me the confidence to keep going. I struggle with self-doubt, but I know that that’s a good thing.

I realized that I need to be willing to entertain the possibility that amazing blessings are available to me. All of us have dormant spiritual gifts. Most of the time, it’s not a problem that we don’t use them. But sometimes in perilous circumstances, the use of our gifts is not only allowed, but required. We have to give ourselves permission to exercise our full potential.

I am fully aware of the fact that a lot of the material I have written on this blog over the past three years makes people very uncomfortable. Some people are bothered by the fact that I delve into fringe topics and share personal revelation concerning concepts that the brethren haven’t discussed. Among orthodox members of the Church, there is an unspoken rule that it’s inappropriate to go off the beaten path, and that if you do receive revelation, you should keep it to yourself.

Believe me when I say that I have had a lot of inner conflict. When I first realized that I could learn things by the Spirit that have never been revealed before, I didn’t know what to think. I felt guilty, because I didn’t want to suppose that I was special or better than other people. I didn’t want to go the way of apostates. But I couldn’t deny that I really was receiving revelation with force and clarity. When I made the effort to share the things that I learned, I found that I was rewarded with additional revelation. This gave me the confidence to keep going even if I met resistance. But I tried to make sure that I didn’t share too much at once. This pattern of stretching myself and others a little at a time has worked consistently.

The intensity of revelation has been progressively increasing over time, and at this point, I find it very difficult to hold back. It feels like a river racing down a mountain with unstoppable force. That is why my tone has recently shifted from suggestion to warning. Those who don’t learn to stretch will crack under the pressure.

Yea, wo be unto this generation! And the Lord said unto me: Stretch forth thy hand and prophesy, saying: Thus saith the Lord, it shall come to pass that this generation, because of their iniquities, shall be brought into bondage, and shall be smitten on the cheek; yea, and shall be driven by men, and shall be slain; and the vultures of the air, and the dogs, yea, and the wild beasts, shall devour their flesh. (Mosiah 12:2)

What qualified Abinadi to share the message that he did? The Book of Mormon doesn’t say anything about him being a priest or having special authority. Like Samuel the Lamanite, he was an ordinary person who heeded God’s call.

A Principle of Action and of Power

We have been taught that faith is a principle of action. This is true, but it’s easy to misinterpret things, so I want to clarify what this means. As I have written previously, our spiritual progression consists of three steps: awareness, acceptance, and action. These correspond to the three degrees of glory.

What we need to understand is that this is the dialectical progression, but in reverse. Action is the thesis, acceptance is the antithesis, and awareness is the synthesis. Hence the telestial is telos or consummation. The progression is reversed because the temporal realm is a mirror image of the spiritual realm. This is a pedagogical method in which God first gives us the answer to the problem, and then our job is to figure out why that answer is correct.

The gap between step two (acceptance) and step three (action) is a very difficult hurdle, and the elect are the only ones who figure it out in mortality. Those in the intermediate stage (acceptance) have come to an awareness of their shortcomings and have tasted of the goodness of God’s love. They have learned to surrender and receive grace. In their surrender, they accept themselves the way they are. But they are not willing to do anything to change, and so they fail to reach their potential. This is a state of paralysis, like a withered hand, in which they are aware of problems but are unable to do anything about them.

As I said earlier, the progressive mentality focuses on acceptance, while conservatives focus on action. But that doesn’t mean that conservatives are more celestial. They haven’t even made it past step one. In practice, conservatives fixate on action exclusively, supposing that if action is the final destination, they might as well skip right to the end. But the three steps must be traversed sequentially. Those who act without feeling or sensitivity are the hypocrites that Jesus condemned.

You can’t skip awareness and acceptance. If you do, you will end up pushing your way through life, going through motions while getting frustrated that things don’t turn out the way you want. There is a big difference between futile action and effective action. Futile action is when you stick your puny arm in the Missouri River, expecting it to change course. This is what people do when they have no real hope. In their desperation to fix things, they feel like they need to do something. They’re not honest with themselves, because they don’t really believe that what they are doing will help.

We live in perilous times. God is relying on the righteous to turn rivers out of their course, i.e. change the course of destiny. In order to accomplish the impossible, we will need to rely on supernatural aid, not on the flesh. When the forces of chaos are overpowering and things seem really bad, the solutions must be revealed to us by the Spirit. The gift of revelation cannot be forced. We must develop that capability little by little.

Action (change) and acceptance are complete opposites. They are incompatible. If you accept yourself the way you are, you are paralyzed because you can’t change. But if you decide to change, you are not able to surrender and accept yourself, and surrendering is what unlocks grace. It’s a catch-22. So how do we escape this conundrum?

Since we live in a world of scarcity, we can’t do both at once. The next best thing is to alternate between the two. First, we extend ourselves until it starts to feel uncomfortable. Then we give up and relax for awhile. Once we have regained our strength, we take action again, and the process repeats. We climb and then we fall, we lean in and then pull out—again and again and again. We embrace the tension of contradiction and get into a consistent rhythm. With each cycle, our awareness increases. Just like the scientific method, we learn from every trial, making subsequent efforts progressively more effective and potent. When pleasure and pain are brought together in this way, the result is an ecstatic mystery. Power is unleashed, and we are finally able to progress from a state of paralysis to a state of empowerment.

Those who make it to the final stage of progression realize that heaven is not a destination, but a process. The journey of getting there is the very thing that we are trying to reach. God is to be found in the space between what’s wrong and right. He is continually learning and expanding, and he is never satisfied. The kingdom of God is like a tent that keeps getting bigger. The fabric is stretched tight, and when it starts to get loose, it is stretched even further.

Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes; (Isaiah 54:2)

Knowing this should change our perspective on life. Joy is to be found in the journey. As we begin to regain feeling after being paralyzed, we experience both positive and negative. The sensations can be a bit intense, and it takes some getting used to. We have to learn to take the good with the bad. Instead of shying away from this transition or trying to get through it quickly, the best thing to do is savor every moment. We don’t need to be in a hurry. We just need to be consistent in getting up every time we fall and in hoping for good things to come. Knowing that it’s okay to fall short empowers us to try and fail and try again.