As the juice trend barrels uncontrollably ahead (much like your diarrhea will when juice is all you eat), the titans of the industry are becoming more and more defensive both in response to those who question juice as The Way of Life and with one other. Unbearable debates over what constitutes as "real juice" are popping up left and right with juicers serving up some hilariously wingnut boasts and jabs.


The New York Daily News recently looked into the increasingly hypercompetitive world of juice and spoke with owners and CEOs of juice bars in New York and California. Here are six choice quotes:

From Jake Mabanta of juice company Love Grace:

“Green juice is a God-given right."

Pasteurization (which extends a juice's shelf-life, maybe at the sacrifice of nutritional value) is a huge, hot button issue in the juice community. When talking about it, juicers get slightly melodramatic.

“You kill off live enzymes and significantly reduce the nutrition of the juice,” said Ross Franklin, founder of the East Village’s Liquiteria. “It’s a lifeless, dead juice.”


But freshness is a façade!

“‘Farm-to-bottle’ is highly unlikely in New York,” said Jamie Graber of Gingersnap’s Organic in the East Village. “Anyone who’s claiming they are local in New York, I would love to see where that farm is.”

Throwing shade!

“What the other juice companies are doing is they’re creating juice with no soul,” says Juice Press CEO and founder Marcus Antebi. Antebi’s juice bar has nine locations in the city and plans two more, including one in Southampton.


(Exclusive scoop: I once almost went into a Juice Press, but was too intimidated to actually go inside because the only other people in the store were two managers screaming at each other.)

Serving face!

“All of our juices are handcrafted — it’s more of an art,” says Juice Generation owner Eric Helms.


And don't even get them started on sellouts:

In this industry, a bid to expand beyond the underground scene of unadulterated-juice drinkers is met with animosity or contempt — at least based on the reaction many juicers had when Organic Avenue’s revered founder, Denise Mari, gave the reins of her formerly boutique brand to new, nonvegan CEO Martin Bates. “They’ll have a tuna fish sandwich,” says Juice Press’ increasingly incensed Antebi, who fears Bates will cater to less-dedicated “flexitarians” by expanding Organic Avenue’s offerings beyond juice. “People will want Kit-Kat bars. They’ll no longer represent the glossy, sexy brand that they were five years ago, before Juice Press smothered them. I actually waterboarded them with green juice.”


He actually waterboarded them with green juice! Very cool, very normal. Let's hope these level-headed people keep raking in the green (money and kale).

Juice makers battle over market share and purity of product as sales surge [NY Daily News]


Image via Getty.