I was lucky enough to be Best Man for Mouse’s wedding three years ago. It was a hell of a party and it was an honor to stand by his side on his special day. I was tasked with doing a Best Man speech, and even though I made gratuitous cuts to it, the speech ran nearly twenty minutes. Twenty glorious minutes.

Though longer than a typical wedding speech, I approached it like a stand up set – which Mouse often joked that it would be another “gig” for me. Some of the groom’s family (the older, east coast crowd) didn’t appreciate some of the parts of the speech. To be fair I DID have a couple swears and said “blowjob” once or twice. But hey, Mouse said to “have fun with it” and to “do whatever” and I still managed to keep it PG-13.