Yahoo!’s Jeff Passan has a report about one of the more obnoxious baseball player arrests you’ll ever see. The player: Red Sox’ minor league catcher Jon Denney. The reason for the arrest: driving with a suspended license. But the flavor of the arrest is way better than the charge might indicate:

According to police, Denney said “he was a Boston Red Sox player and he didn’t care [sic] he had money and made more money than we would ever see.” When handcuffed, the report said, Denney said “he would be out in no time because of who he played for and that he made three million a year.”

This, by the way, was his second run-in with the police that evening. Earlier, he had been issued a citation and sent home after being pulled over for fishtailing and was then found to have had a restricted license (work and emergencies only, due to a previous DUI ). At the time of the citation he said he was out on the town “Partying and looking to get some [expletive].” I’m assuming that the censored part was not “dinner” or “some personal enlightenment.”

Just an epic performance by young Mr. Denney, here. He plays the “I’m rich and famous card,” yet, as Passan notes, he’s not really either of those things. Plus he gets bonus points for the previous DUI, the blatant honesty on why he was out on the town and the subtle style which comes from driving a Ford F-150 Raptor, which is about an 80 on the cool bromobile scale.

Well played indeed. Especially for a guy who hit .203 in the Gulf Coast League last year. I think his future is bright.