14 TV and film drinking games you should be playing right now

TV is cheap and sometimes boring. Going out is expensive and way too much effort.

TV drinking games are the middle ground. You can get drunk without the cost of going out, or the hassle of socialising with your closest friends.

Here are the best TV drinking games around, perfect for binge watching shows online.

For drinking games that aren't TV based see Drinking Games Every Fresher and Old Timer Should Know or get a free drinking game from IWoot.

Needless to say, drink carefully and stay safe.

Game of Thrones

Drink every time one of your favourite character dies, drink twice if you cry.

For a faster drinking game, drink every time:

Tyrion says something cool

Joffrey says something that would get him taken away by child protective services

Nudity occurs (one drink per boob. Enjoy getting your stomach pumped.)

A wedding goes horribly wrong

Jon Snow broods or smoulders into the distance

Jon Snow gets called a bastard, or complains about being a bastard

Someone says "winter is coming" in a grave tone

Incest occurs

Sword fights happen

Dragons are shown on screen

Any time someone says the c-word unnecessarily

Brutal violence takes place

Bear Grylls YouTube roulette

Bear loves to drink his own urine. Not just in the wild, he'll drink it in restaurants if he thinks the drinks are overpriced.

Load up a playlist of Bear Grylls clips, and put it on shuffle:

Drink twice every time Bear drinks his own piss.

If you’re feeling too drunk you can drink once instead, but only if you’re willing to drink warmed up, flat cloudy cider.

Drink twice if he eats any, ahem, solids.

If he drinks through other orifices then… Just take three drink

If he kills something, kill your drink (i.e. finish the glass)

If he eats the thing he's killed without using cutlery, you have to pour a new drink without using your hands, and drink it without using your thumbs

Breaking Bad

Drink when:

Walter

Coughs

Takes off his trousers

Wears his Heisenberg hat

Calls Jesse an idiot with his mouth or eyes

Praises Jesse in a creepy manipulative way

Does something evil

Jesse

Says “bitch”

Says “yo”

Fails to notice Walt is a douchebag

Drink twice if he does or says something that makes you want to hug him and tell him everything is going to be ok.

Drink when money appears on screen.

Drink twice if Walt it pisses Walt off that it’s not enough money.

Drink when meth is smoked or cooked.

Drink through every montage / sped up time sequence

Drink twice for every death

Drink whenever Walt should clearly get out of a situation, but stays around and endangers himself because of his greed and pride, continue drinking until he’s out of the deadly situation (Note: This can last an entire series).

Drink every time you think television, as a medium, has peaked. This will happen a lot.

Batman: The Dark Knight Rises

Drink until you start seeing things from the Joker’s point of view. Once you are thinking he’s a reasonable kind of guy with some pretty great ideas, stop. Quickly. Before someone gets hurt.

The Apprentice

The official rules to the apprentice drinking game can be found here but will get you so drunk you’ll think the apprentices have good business ideas.

Try limiting yourself to rule 3: Drink whenever someone gives mathematically impossible amounts of effort eg. "I gave the task 110%" - Drink 3 fingers.

And rule 6: Drink whenever Alan’s aides give a disapproving face:

The Walking Dead

Drink when someone makes an impossible headshot from ages away.

Drink twice if they’re surrounded by zombies when this happened, three times if they should be too panicked to even know what a gun is at that point and finish your drink if the shot was made at night time.

Drink whenever someone appears to have been bitten but wants to keep it a secret from the rest of them.

Drink when a zombie gets killed.

Drink twice when a person gets killed.

Down the drink if they were only introduced during this episode, for the purpose of being killed.

Down your drink every time they do something stupid, and you come up with a better plan:

“Shoot the dead guy in the face, he'll be a zombie in minutes!”- Drink

“Leave Carl behind to die, his hair’s awful.”- Drink

“Don’t trust the guy with the machine gun for an arm who seems ok at first but insists on everyone calling him ‘The Colonel’ and then later on you find out he’s got zombie Meryl Streep locked up in his basement and they make out sometimes, he’s the bad guy, why can’t you see he’s the bad guy?” – Drink (and apologies for season 9 spoilers).

Dexter

Drink every time Dexter says he has no emotions.

Drink twice every time he has an emotion.

He cries all the time.

Drink every time his voiceover needlessly over explains what’s just happened on screen.

Drink whenever he says “Dark Passenger”, “Monster”, “Code” or “Ritual”

Drink whenever dexter kills

Drink twice if Dexter kill them after giving a preachy speech about how bad a person they are, before killing them to death for his own amusement.

Drink when he imagines his long dead dad giving preachy advice. Drink twice if his dead dad has noticeably aged, despite being dead.





Arrested Development

If you haven’t watched Arrested Development yet, shame on you. Watch it sober or you’ll miss the jokes. If you are re-watching it, drink when:

Anyone

Makes a huge mistake

Makes a huge mistake Does a chicken dance

Forgets egg's name

Does the sad snoopy walk

Has to have their language bleeped

Gob:

Performs a trick an illusion

Performs an illusion Cries. Drink twice if he makes Michael taste his tears

Takes a "forget-me-now". Drink twice if he forces someone else to take a "forget-me-now"

Tobias

"Blue himself"

"Blue himself" Says or does something that implies he might be gay

Buster

Says "I'm a monster!!!"

Goes on a rampage

Says "heeeey brother"

Archer

Drink every time Archer mentions “Danger Zone” or Lana’s giant hands

Whenever Archer drinks, you drink

Drink whenever Lana says "yyyyyyup"

Every time Cheryl (Sherry?) changes her name drink twice

Whenever someone says "sploosh" you take a sploosh. Of alcohol.

Do you wanna get drunk? Cuz that’s how you get drunk.

Mad Men – The safe version

If you drink when they drink, you will die. If you drink when they smoke, you will die quicker.

Drink when they say something racist because it’s the 60s and they don’t know any better yet.

Drink when they say something sexist because it’s the 60s and they don’t know any better yet.

Drink when they say something homophobic because it’s the 60s and they don’t know any better yet.

Drink whenever Pete says something sleazy.

Drink whenever Betty is a terrible parent

A historical event is shown on screen

Try drinking when you notice some subtext, or complex me taphors within Don’s pitches. You'll notice less as you go on.

Drink twice when you feel ambivalent about Don.

Mad men – The not so safe version

Drink when they drink. Die. Not recommended.

(see above)

Bates Motel

Drink:

Whenever Norman says “Mother”

Every time you think, “Oh, this boy should be locked up”

Twice when you take this future serial killer’s side.

Whenever Norma acts like a psychopath

Every time there is blood or someone is killed

Drink twice every time they imply an incestuous relationship between Norman and Norma. You’re going to need it.

Family Guy

Drink when:

Quagmire says giggity

Stewie implies he might be gay

Brian says something pretentious

Conway Twitty appears. Keep drinking until Conway Twitty disappears.

They fill in time by having a dance routine, song or extended piece of filler (e.g. Peter clutching his injured leg and saying ow, or his father in law trying to operate a forklift.

"Shut up, Meg"

When any kind of cultural reference is made, if you can name where it came from you are safe, everybody else must drink.

Question Time

Dimbleby, drunk again, flicking the bird at an audience member.

Drink when:

Anyone in the audience claps alone

Drink two fingers if anyone in the audience cheers alone, for UKIP

Anyone in the audience complains about immigrants

Anyone on the panel avoids a question

Any time Dimbleby avoids saying the obvious about the audience e.g. "gentleman with the tie" when he means the giant man in the wig and floral muumuu

Any time Dimbleby mentions Twitter like he knows what it is

Any time one of the panel looks like he is waiting for applause, gets none and has to peter out, deflated and with a look of panic in their eyes

Any time a politician does some politician bashing

A panel member banker bashes, for easy applause.

Any time a panel member acts like an applause whore, saying something dumb that everyone can agree with just to get some tasty applause. "Abuse is wrong and I for one think it should be stopped!"

An audience member says "political correctness gone mad"

Any time you start wondering if democracy is a bad thing, given the audiences opinions

Any time Dimbleby asks an audience member a question in return, and their eyes widen in panic

Any time an audience member makes a great point, but it's negated by the terrible cravat or other item of clothing they've chosen to attend a political debate in

Drink any time a question is immigration related

A politician blames a different political party. Drink twice if their policies are indistinguishable

A member of government blames the legacy of the previous government. Drink twice if they have been in government for at least three years but are still blaming the previous government.

A member of the opposition refuses to be drawn in on policy specifics

24 Hours in Police Custody

Drink so much you end up making a guest appearance.

Bonus round:

Now apologise for what you’ve done.

We've also got a fun drinking game for the Eurovision



Still standing? Seek help. Or for more drinking games see Drinking Games Every Fresher and Old Timer Should Know...