“I think the quality of sexiness comes from within. It is something that is in you or it isn’t and it really doesn’t have much to do with breasts or thighs or the pout of your lips.” ~ Sophia Loren

“Sexy at the millennium means having a solid sense of self but never taking yourself too seriously.” ~ Rebecca Romijn

Real sexiness is something much deeper than appearance. It’s more than bone structure and skin tone or the curves of the body or the sway of the hips. Many apparently sexy people at a distance can turn out to be very unsexy up close and personal.

So what is sexiness? It is a quality of person that transcends even the physical. And what’s that quality? In a word, it’s happiness.

15 Ways Happiness is Sexy

1. Happy people are confident.

And confident people are sexy. They are not cocky and show-offy, but know their strengths, build upon them, and appreciate them.

2. Stagnation is unattractive.

Growth is very attractive. Happy people grow. They stretch and challenge themselves. How sexy is that!

3. Happy people take care of themselves.

So do sexy people. Sexy people care about their health. They recognize their bodies are the vehicles by which they will accomplish great things. So they take care of that vehicle.

4. Self-obsessed people are very unsexy.

But happy people are giving and thoughtful. They spend more time looking at others and their needs than in the mirror at receding hairlines or crooked noses.

5. Happy people care.

Caring is sexy. Indifference is decidedly not very sexy at all. Indifference is mental laziness and moral sloppiness.

6. Passion is hot.

Passion is what happy people are all about. They love life and love living it. They do things that excite them and get excited about the things they do. Very sexy, indeed!

7. Happy people are loving people.

Love is such a sexy thing. It just feels good to love and be loved. Think about hate and selfishness and unkindness and the rest of love’s antonyms: Not very attractive qualities at all.

8. Happy people have fun.

Fun is sexy too. Sexy people play. Happy people play. Regularly “letting down your hair” and rolling around on the floor with your kids is extremely sexy … and fun … and happiness-inducing. So be sexy and happy and have some fun!

9. Sexy people laugh.

So do happy people! Laughter, as a matter of fact, is one of the sexiest qualities a person can have. The cranky and irritable don’t make for very sexy company.

10. There’s not much that’s sexier than sincerity.

Someone who doesn’t really listen, who pretends to be interested, is a huge turnoff.

11. Blame is ugly.

Happy people are self-responsible. They accept responsibility for their own actions – both failures and successes. They accept responsibility for their own emotions and attitudes too. They don’t use phrases like, “You made me mad!” or “Look how you’re making me feel!” They know they own their own feelings. Nothing sexier than that!

12. Happy people don’t whine or complain.

Neither do sexy people. They see the best and are proactive. They don’t sit around whining about why things never work out for them. They decide what needs to be done and they do it. They don’t see life as something others do to them. They engage it and make something of it. Whiners and complainers don’t do much else than whine and complain. If you want sexy, stay away from whiners and complainers!

13. Laziness is definitely unsexy.

And happy people are decidedly not a bunch of TV-watching time-wasters either. Sexy, happy people are shakers and movers. They get things done. Action is almost a synonym for the happy and sexy crowd!

14. Sexy people are polite.

They are thoughtful and kind. Those who are brash and rude and ill-mannered are in no way sexy at all. If you want to increase your sexy quotient, treat others politely.

15. There is great sexiness in being trusting and trustworthy.

Happy people are both trusting of others and worthy of their trust. Suspicious, distrustful people are patently not very sexy. Nor are liars. To be able to place total confidence in a person’s word is very, very sexy.

Happiness is the New Sexy

Sexiness adds spark to life. It’s the frosting on the cake that is a meaningful life. It’s the James Bondness of living. It is the appeal others have. It is attraction and an alluring “something” about a person.

Some people confuse a “bad boy” or “nasty girl” quality with sexiness. But they’re wrong to make that connection. That’s a dated sort of pseudo-sexy. There is a new sexiness that is replacing the old.

We’ve all known people who at first glance made us tremble a bit. Then, after getting to know them better, we’ve scratched our heads and wondered what we ever saw in them. True sexiness, the new sexiness, is much more than the length of a leg or the width of the shoulders. It is in the soul of the person radiating from a much more profound place than skin level.

So let’s redefine sexy. Let’s do it by redefining what we love most in others.

Let’s make happiness the new sexy.

What qualities do YOU find sexy?

Please share in the comments below.

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