When a friend is down, it’s natural to try to cheer them up. That may not be what they need most, however. As The School of Life explains, “jollying” your friend along may not be the best way to empathize with them.


Rather than dismiss a friend’s sadness, the video suggests sharing their melancholy so you can better understand where they’re coming from and truly be there for them. They explain:

Sadness isn’t always a disorder that needs to be cured, and yet the dominant tone of many friendships continues to be cheerful, or it’s more brittle cousin, cheery: a good mood that tolerates no other. This falsely presumes that the best way to please others must always be to impose a vibrant frame of mind, when in fact admission of despair is a key tool in the process of friendship properly reimagined.


While the video doesn’t discuss grieving, exactly, we’ve said before that there’s no right or wrong way to help someone grieve, and that advice applies here, too. It can be hard to figure out how to help a friend who’s going through a difficult time, and we all do the best we can. The video does, however, make a solid case for experiencing that sadness with them rather than trying to sweep it under the rug and cheer them up. Check it out above or at the link below.

Being Jollied Along | The School of Life