Readers, there is a lot of crazy, scary, truly horrible stuff happening in the world right now. Ukraine is a powder keg that could ignite a broader regional -- or even global -- conflict; climate change threatens our very existence; and the nation is still reeling from a lime shortage.

Also, people continue to use the phrase "I have ran."

I know. I told you it was horrible.

Here are just a handful of recent examples of this assault on our language, via Google:

The Dam to Dam is my favorite race. I have ran it and completed it twice and did not run last year.

it and completed it twice and did not run last year. " I have ran the 100 since I was in seventh grade," [REDACTED] said.

the 100 since I was in seventh grade," [REDACTED] said. "Of all the half-marathons I have ran , this one was the most fun."

, this one was the most fun." Now I have ran 10k on a number of occasions but usually on more flat roads, and country lanes.

10k on a number of occasions but usually on more flat roads, and country lanes. I have ran quite a few races and enjoy doing 5Ks in small towns.

quite a few races and enjoy doing 5Ks in small towns. “I have ran in this race all three years, we really look forward to coming here,” said [REDACTED] .

I hate it... SO much. It... It... Flame. Flames. Flames, on the side of my face...

How widespread is this scourge? According to the World Grammar Council, a watchdog group based in Geneva, on any given day, "upward of half a million people globally may be uttering or writing the phrase 'I have ran' or 'I've ran.' Usually on Facebook, and often in conjunction with the word definately."

I don't understand how this can be. "I have ran" , the way certain other grammatically incorrect phrases can. It's not that tricky.

If you care to see it, here is a complete breakdown of the verb run. (And I do mean "complete," up to and including the conditional future perfect.) But 99% of the time, here's all you need to remember:

I run marathons, because I am a masochist. (Present tense.)

I ran a marathon yesterday, which is why I'm taking the elevator to the second floor. (Past tense.)

I had run a 20-miler the day before the marathon, because, again, I am a masochist. (Past pluperfect tense.)

I have run marathons in all 50 states, because I am a masochist who is married to a flight attendant, so I fly free. (Present perfect tense.)

That's it. Simple. And here is an even simpler version:

Just never, ever say or type "I have ran."

Never. Ever. Because it's never, ever correct. And every time you do use that phrase, a baby otter gets abandoned by its mother. Really.

Please, folks. If not for me, do it for Molalla.

Mark Remy Mark Remy has been with Runner’s World since January 2007—for the first 5 ½ years as executive editor of RunnersWorld.com, and currently as a writer at large.

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