Let’s revisit this Shakespearean ballad of a tweet. 83.3 thousand people read this shit and consciously decided to pulverize the like button. A modern marvel. The thinly-veiled horniness and general laziness at attempting to respect women wasn’t enough to stop this gem from tricking tens of thousands of people into buying into its sincerity. Honestly, props to this guy. I’m almost positive that no man referring to girls as “princesses” has ever been remotely serious. Even in the Middle Ages, the Kings and Dukes would mockingly say shit like “they don’t pay you enough for this, princess” to the female serfs, as they slaved away on the fields.

He even tossed an “lol” at the end of it. This man couldn’t even type out the words “depressed” and “mentally unstable” without laughing audibly. Nevertheless, she persisted to like the tweet. Mental illness and unfathomable sadness? Absolutely hilarious shit to Andre, but also…he loves you.

Reverse Psychology

As Ryan pointed out, these three whippersnappers attempted to implement psychological techniques in order to mask their sexual desires and manipulate others into believing the opposite of what was actually true. Just another day in the laboratory for these masterminds of cognitive trickery.

Blatant Horniness

No subtlety here. NINE TIMES as horny. And as much as I’d like to ignore the unnerving fact that he described himself as “twerky”, I simply cannot. The spine-chilling visual of this guy drunkenly twerking with a noticeable erection, because his natural horniness has multiplied several times over, is something that I refuse to imagine in solitude.

Okay.

Straightforward. To the point. No deceiving tricks or hidden agendas. The only acceptable form of online horniness. A true ambassador of the brand.

Other Examples

Okay, you get the point. I’m done here. Bottom line is that there’s an endless amount of tweets like this and they’re becoming more and more common each day. Honestly, they don’t really affect me in any way so I don’t really care. I guess I just feel secondhand embarrassment for these guys. I’d like to think that one day in the near future, they’ll look back on their Twitter antics and cringe off into the moonlight.

Shoutout to people like @callmeshitto, @yeetztweetz, @xMangojuice, and @OlStupidHeadAss for consistently raising awareness to this issue and exposing me to content for this article.