ABOUT P A R D O B O Y S

I was born with thick grips

Welcome to Pardoboys! This is a group for fans of the smash hit text-based adventure computer video game, Speed-Dial Florida 2: Incorrect Digits! In this group, we have in-depth discussions about game story, level tactics, official announcements, and anything else pertaining to the game!





What the fuck did you just fucking spin about me, you little Russian? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Miami Police Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Russian Mafia, and I have over 300 confirmed solved cases. I am trained in door-slamming warfare and I’m the top cop in the entire Miami Police force. You are nothing to me but just another spinning dog. I will wipe you the fuck out with baiting the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with shooting me through that glass halfway across the map? Think again, fucker, I was born with thick skin. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of cops across the state of Miami and your movement pattern is being traced right now so you better get a grip, maggot. Prepare for the one shot that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, thug. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my fists. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the shotgun in my trunk, golf clubs, baseball bats, knives, and whatever else is lying around and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the level, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” shot through that window was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking gun. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, because I was born with thick skin you goddamn spinning idiot. I will spray bullets all over the place, and you will drown in your own fucking blood. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.