Films of 2017 Ranked

So, you remember all those Tumblr twats who were complaining that 2016 was the worst year ever just because Donald Trump got elected and a couple celebrities died? Don't you just wanna find those people and give them a good old face five? With a chainsaw?



2017, all in all, is what enlightened observers of history would call a "crapshoot" between sexual assault charges sweeping the entertainment industry and politics, more mass shootings than a heroin addict in church (ba dum tss) and not one, not two, but three hurricanes having their way with the entire Southern half of the continent. Where are the "worst year ever" people on this one? All I can hear are crickets chirping and an embarrassed cough.



At least the films were good this year, unlike last year when whatever wasn't a heated turd was just bland and whatever wasn't just bland was more grudgingly good than fantastic.



So as is custom with film critics with semi-regular (crappy) schedules like myself I must now complete the annual ritual of handing out numerically validated opinions on the films I saw this year. However, seeing as how I didn't see enough films to make a good and bad list this year I will instead rank the 17 films I saw this year in order from worst to best.



17. Beauty and the Beast

Remaking a film that was basically perfect was always going to be a bad idea because you're never going to be able to match that quality. However, the fact that they didn't even try to make a good film because they knew this thing was going to break the bank anyway is just depressing. The characters had all the charm and personality sucked out of them, it added new plot holes to the story that could've just as easily not been there and it didn't even try to be original and went with a shot for shot remake. Worst of all even judging it on its own merits in a vacuum it's not that great. The costumes and sets look like they're from a school play, none of the cast can sing that well, the CGI was really fake looking, especially on the Beast, and they just didn't bother to make any of this interesting. Trust me when I say that this one is definitely worth skipping.



16. Logan Lucky

This was the biggest heartbreak of the whole year for me. After the entire film lovers community was praising this one like the Second Coming I was expecting a lot more than I ended up getting. Sure, it's fun after a fashion, but it's just empty, with a surprising lack of anything to say what with it being set in the rural South, the butt of every other joke on Saturday Night Live. The characters are pretty thin and under developed, the actors are fine, but they've got very little to work with, the pacing is alternatively too fast or too slow, not a lot of the jokes land and it's really oddly structured, having the climactic heist taking place in the middle of the film. Maybe if you're from the rural South like the characters are you'll get a lot more out of it, but for me personally it was just a boring waste of two hours. What a letdown.



15. John Wick 2

The first John Wick is one of my favorite action films of all time due to its simple, but solid premise, great character casting and tight choreography. John Wick 2 has all that... and that's it. Even though it tries to go deeper by fleshing out its crime universe and giving Wick an even deeper personal motivation it doesn't really elevate the series in any particular way except in the last couple of minutes. Yes, the fight scenes are still great, with one showstopper involving a pencil, Keanu Reeves continues to be a weirdly compelling presence and the character actors like Ruby Rose, Laurence Fishburne and even Common all bring their A-Game, but it's not enough to raise it above just another John Wick movie. Maybe that'll satisfy most people, but I kinda wanted something more.



14. Free Fire

This is one of the most interesting executions of a shoot em up film I've seen in a long time: an extended, movie length gunfight in which the point is not to stage over the top action or show how great the director is as staging and continuity, but to actually give you the messy, chaotic experience a shootout like this brings through cinematography and editing. However, even after that good setup and the quality filmmaking on display you're still kind of left with an empty film that you're not going to remember the next day. Though it's still worth a watch for the character performances and a few good jokes, it's pretty skippable.



13. The Greatest Showman

This film is the equivalent of eating a bag of Skittles: there's a bunch of pretty colors, it's enjoyable while you're experiencing it, but then you just never think about it again. Even though that's a perfectly fine thing for a movie to be, it feels disappointing in this case considering the subject of the film, PT Barnum, a successful con artist that made his living by basically inventing exploitation entertainment. If they had just changed it so that Barnum's borderline illegal behavior was appropriately framed as the deceit that it was we might've gotten a way more interesting movie out of the deal. However, what we haven't isn't terrible; Hugh Jackman continues to be a stunning performer and is easily the best part of the film, it's clear they worked really hard on the costumes and choreography and we get one very catchy song which is better than none at all.



12. The Last Jedi

My feelings are still really mixed about The Last Jedi. On the one hand, there are some really stupid moments that just bug me, there are huge overarching problems with the story structure and a lot of the themes that are introduced either don't really get a payoff or are discarded by a different moral the film is trying to push, making them seem like they were just brought up to be proven wrong. However, the stuff that's good is so good it makes me forgive a lot of the film's short comings, if not all of them. There are so many grand, epic moments that are some of the best of the whole franchise, an interesting thematic through line about wiping the slate clean and making your own path and a fantastic subversion of previously established cannon. You should see this one at least once even if you do end up hating it.



11. Get Out

The fact that Jordan Peele managed to seamlessly switch from doing comedy to doing horror is impressive. The fact that he expertly sews social commentary into the narrative of his film is incredible. The fact that he's chosen a relevant social issue is admirable. It's just too bad I didn't connect with it as much as the film wanted me to. Get Out tries to tackle a side of racism much less overt than the torches and pitchforks of the alt-right crowd and instead targets the casual racism of white liberals, which is an interesting idea. However, how relevant you end up finding this film will depend on two things: the first is what kind of news you watch. If it's telling you that "unconscious racism" is a prevalent problem in American society then you're gonna get a lot out of this one. The second factor is your own personal experience. If you've experienced or seen this kind of passive aggressive stereotyping then you will get a lot out of this. I, however, have neither of these factors, so I ended up feeling like I'd just seen an admirable attempt to solve a problem that I didn't really think existed in the first place. However, it's still a well-made piece of horror fiction and you should probably check it out at least once.



10. Baby Driver

The more I thought about Baby Driver the more I liked it. Sure, it's mostly just a shallow thrill ride, but it's a really well-made one, harmoniously combining both audio and visuals into a unique cinematic experience. The action scenes are really well choreographed, all of the actors do fantastic work and I love how the excellent soundtrack actually works with the film instead of just being a fun compliment to the action. It's a must see at least once, maybe even twice.



9. Wind River

While it's still not as good as the writer's first film Sicario, Wind River is still an extremely well-made mystery film shining a light on the modern struggles of Native Americans and the struggles of all men to deal with their demons. The cinematography is pretty, the sound design is phenomenal and Jeremy Renner gives the best performance of his career. This is a tense, surprising, gut punch of a film that you should not miss.



8. Split

I'm as surprised as you probably are. "An M. Night Shayamalan genre movie that came out in January? This is one of the best films of the year?" I wasn't expecting it either, but Split is a genuinely excellent piece of pop science fiction. The tension-filled cinematography adds a lot to the atmosphere, the setup is just ridiculous enough to work, James McAvoy's performance(s) as Kevin is captivating and the exploration of how different people choose to move on from trauma is handled expertly. All of this topped off with an ending that had me excited about the prospects of future films. Sure, the dialogue isn't always perfect and some of the plot points can be a bit exploitative, but that doesn'tf stop Split from being my favorite Shayamalan movie to date.



7. Dunkirk

I had a lot riding on Dunkirk. Even though I didn't enjoy his last two films I still believe that Christopher Nolan is one of our greatest living auteur filmmakers and I was anxious to see whether he could bounce back from two big missteps. Thankfully, he was able to pull it off. The wartime setting is naturally full of tension which makes up for Nolan's trademark lack of strong emotion, the characters being mostly blank slates helps the audience insert themselves in their scenario, Hans Zimmer's unmemorable score otherwise adds weight to the proceedings, the sound editing is engrossing and while the time manipulation can be confusing, it allows Nolan to keep up the pace with one nail biting, pants crappingly tense moment after another. Dunkirk might not please everybody due to its shallow emotion, but if you allow yourself to just get taken in by that complaint you'll be missing one of the most well crafted, intense films of the year.



6. It

Honestly, I feel a bit guilty putting It this high on the list because it actually does a lot of things wrong. There are often parts where what's supposed to be scary causes me to break out into laughter, which is technically a bad thing since this is a horror film. However, from a subjective standpoint that's exactly why it's as high as it is; it can offer me several levels of entertainment so I'm never bored the whole way through. When it's legitimately scary, funny or dramatic (which is about 50% of the time) I can admire the craft that went into making it so. When it's being unintentionally hilarious (which is the other 50%) I can laugh at the ridiculousness of what I'm watching. If you can groove on that wavelength of partial genuine/ironic enjoyment I definitely recommend this one. At least it's better than the Dark Tower movie.



5. Blade Runner 2049

Even though it didn't totally live up to the original, with slow pacing that felt like it was just dragging rather than enhancing the experience and a few scenes that could've been left for the director's cut, Blade Runner 2049 is still worth seeing. Like its predecessor, it raises intriguing questions about the nature of humanity, presents us with an intriguing world and gives us a compelling mystery and the whole thing wraps up in what might've been the most beautiful ending to a film I saw this year. I think I'll have to watch it a second time to fully appreciate it, but 2049 is still a quality piece of sci-fi filmmaking.



4. The Lego Batman Movie

Even as a fan of Batman I felt like there was something missing from his movies and comics, something that had once been there but had been taken out to its detriment. Then Lego Batman came along and reminded me what that was: fun. Lego Batman delivers the hilariously ruthless deconstruction of the grim and gritty Batman mythos that we've needed ever since The Dark Knight came out. The cast is all fantastic, the action scenes are a lot of fun, the jokes all hit bullseyes and the humorous critique of what Batman has become and what he's been missing is funny, but also kind of poignant. It's the best Batman movie since The Dark Knight is definitely not one to be missed by any one of any age.



3. War for the Planet of the Apes

Like with Dunkirk I was nervous about War for the Planet of the Apes due to what I felt was a slip up with the predictable Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. Thankfully, though, the new Planet of the Apes trilogy comes to a thrilling, bitter-sweet finale with captivating performances from Andy Serkis and Woody Harrelson, smart storytelling and a fantastic final action scene. This is the first truly triumphant film series of the 2010s and the conclusion should not be missed.



2. Logan

This was at the top of my list for a long time until earlier this month and there's a good reason for that. Logan is the superhero film I've wanted for a long time, setting itself apart by being a dark deconstruction of the modern superhero blockbuster which it accomplishes by infusing the film with one simple element the genre has been severely lacking: real emotional weight. With the troublesome business of setting up for sequels or spinoffs decidedly off the film's agenda, it's allowed to be a movie with consequential stakes, high emotion and a story that can do whatever it wants. Hugh Jackman's final go at the character is a touching, phenomenal film that is likely to be the last of its kind for a very long time.



1. Mother!

You may have heard that this one is crazy, pretentious, psychotic, on the nose, confusing, deranged and kind of awesome. And you've heard correctly. Mother! is a movie unlike any other I've seen in my lifetime and I still don't want to say any more about it. It's intense, shocking, full of allegory and symbolism, the entire cast give excellent performances and the ending is one people are going to be arguing over for years. This is 2017's answer to 2001: A Space Odessey, an intentionally vague work of auteur filmmaking whose interpretation will be the subject of many a drunken bar debate amongst film students. This is one for the ages and an experience we're unlikely to ever get again.