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Why 'tomboy' remains a loaded word

Toronto Star ^ | Mar 02, 2008 | Patricia Hluchy

Posted on by forkinsocket

Cameron Diaz claims to have always been a tomboy. That's how she explains her tendency to go braless, in case you were dying to know. Britney Spears, Charlize Theron, Hilary Swank, Michelle Pfeiffer, Keri Russell and Keira Knightley all say they have, or had, a whole lot of tomboy in them.

It's chic in these post-feminist times for beautiful female stars to admit to a certain "maleness." Ordinary women, too, now often wear a tomboy childhood, once tinged with varying degrees of anxiety (why can I not find it within myself to be a dainty princess? will my daughter grow up to be a lesbian?) like a badge of honour.

But the word "tomboy," with its basis in "essentialist" thinking about gender  girls are like this, boys are like that, and those who cross the line aren't quite normal  doesn't sit well with some people.

In a recent Oscar-related cover spread in The New York Times Magazine, writer Lynn Hirschberg described the now 21-year-old cover girl Ellen Page, star of the hit movie Juno, as "a tomboy  her on-screen persona is sharp, clear-eyed, determined and self-consciously original."

The following week, the magazine ran a letter from Barbara Schechter, director of the graduate program in child development at Sarah Lawrence College in Bronxville, N.Y., commenting on the writer's use of the term.

"It is unfortunate that we have no other word available to describe this strong, independent young woman than to refer to her as a tomboy. This continues to convey to girls that growing up clear-eyed and courageous is being like a boy."

Interestingly, tomboy was first used in the mid-16th century for males, denoting "a rude, boisterous, or forward boy," according to the Oxford English Dictionary. By then, because Thomas had been a popular name for centuries, "Tom" was a long-established moniker for the common man (hence tomfoolery).

By 1579, tomboy had somehow switched genders and referred, according to the OED, to "a bold or immodest woman." The word came into its current meaning  "a girl who behaves like a spirited or boisterous boy"  by 1592.

In a telephone interview, Schechter said the tomboy issue isn't as hot as it was a couple of decades ago "because in some ways we've made a lot of progress, and there are a lot more roles and opportunities available to girls.

"In fact, the article in the Times attests to that; it really was suggesting that there were these new female role models that are being embodied in these films. And therefore I think it was all the more disappointing that they referred to Ellen Page as a tomboy, because in a way it was sort of retro... I thought that maybe we'd moved beyond that."

Schechter notes that when she told a friend about her letter to the Times, the friend dismissed Schechter's concerns, arguing that "tomboy" is just a "manner of speaking." But Schechter counters that academics  especially at a very liberal campus like Sarah Lawrence  can be out of touch with what's going on in the real world, where children "get very invested in the categories of gender as being dualistic and dichotomous, and children get very invested in boys not being like girls and girls not being like boys.

"I have a relative who's a psychiatrist, a woman, and she recently referred to her seven-year-old daughter as a tomboy, and I was shocked, and I really called her on it at another time. Because I think especially telling a girl that she's a tomboy suggests that there's something wrong with that behaviour and that she will need to outgrow it... if (she) wants to be a normal girl."

Frances Latchford, a professor at York University's Atkinson School of Women's Studies, agrees that the word's continued use "is a signal that traditional gender roles are still intact" but adds: "Because I was a tomboy, I still have a certain fondness for it in terms of nostalgia.

"When I was a kid, I dressed like a boy. I didn't like it if people identified me as a girl. In hindsight, I think what it was, was I wanted the freedom to do the things that boys got to do.

"I thought being able to do those things meant being a tomboy, and all the things that were associated with femininity and the things that girls did and were supposed to do just didn't interest me."

Whatever the term "tomboy" says about how our society constructs gender roles, Amy Mullin, chair of the philosophy department at the University of Toronto, Mississauga, observed in an email interview that it does have some positive connotations. "Tomboy," says Mullin, a feminist philosopher with special interest in relationships between children and their adult caregivers, "can be a term of praise as well as a means of policing gender...

"A tomboy is often contrasted positively with a `girly girl.' For example, I heard my seven-year-old daughter and her friend  both of whom love princesses and pink, but also soccer and hockey  discussing how they aren't girly girls, whom they seemed to associate with a valley girl stereotype of someone obsessed with shopping and vanity."

It's much better, contends Mullin, to be a tomboy than a sissy.

"We are more comfortable with girls exhibiting supposedly masculine traits than with boys exhibiting supposedly feminine traits. I suspect this is partly due to greater fear that a boy who transgresses gender norms will be homosexual, and to the idea that a girl is `trading up' when she is boyish, since masculinity tends to be more highly valued in our culture than femininity." (For example, she says, more voice-overs are done by men, especially men with masculine-sounding voices.)

Mullin also notes there's a tradition of positive tomboy characters in literature, from Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird to Lyra in Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy, "whose evil mother tries to dress her up in feminine fashion."

Perhaps the biggest problem with "tomboy" is that it's so anachronistic as to be practically meaningless  girls never were just sugar and spice, and feminism went a long way toward pointing out that females like to be active and boisterous, too.

Often the word now comes with a touch of irony: Last year, Brooklin, Ont., mother Marissa McTasney started the company Tomboy Trades, which makes workboots, tool belts and other such products for females  in baby blue and pink, colours many women haven't worn since their princess-themed eighth birthday party.



TOPICS:

Culture/Society

KEYWORDS:

boys

girls

psychology

tomboy

.



To: forkinsocket

But not nearly as loaded a “bull dyke”.



To: forkinsocket

Cameron Diaz claims to have always been a tomboy. That's how she explains her tendency to go braless, in case you were dying to know. Britney Spears, Apparently, tomboyism can explain the absence of other undergarments, as well. Charlize Theron, Hilary Swank, Michelle Pfeiffer, Keri Russell and Keira Knightley all say they have, or had, a whole lot of tomboy in them. Nah, too easy....



by 3 posted onby steve-b (Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense. --RAH)

To: forkinsocket

People get their knickers in a twist over just about anything. It’s a fine word...tomboy.



To: E. Cartman

I prefer “All Terrain Chick”.



To: forkinsocket

Reamins? It’s not, and isn’t.



To: forkinsocket

A delegation of the aggreved are on the doorstep, Sir. They are demanding to speak with you.



by 7 posted onby Steely Tom (Steely's First Law of the Main Stream Media: if it doesn't advance the agenda, it's not news.)

To: forkinsocket

“This continues to convey to girls that growing up clear-eyed and courageous is being like a boy.” Um, Yeah. That is why we use that word. We call disabled people disabled because, well, they have disabilities. Words have meaning and sometimes the CORRECT point is brought across in the word.



by 8 posted onby RobRoy (I'm confused. I mean, I THINK I am, but I'm not sure. But I could be wrong about that.)

To: forkinsocket

I have one neice who likes to hunt and fish, isn’t into makeup and doesn’t like to wear dresses or play with dolls. I have other neices who love to dress up, play with dolls, make and wear jewelry. My tomboy neice doesn’t object to being called a tomboy and is not at all confused about her gender identity. And my girlie girl neices are not worried about opportunities being denied to them.



by 9 posted onby VRWCmember (McCain 2008 - If it's inevitable, you might as well lay back and try to enjoy it.)

To: forkinsocket

I hate it when people take a niggardly approach to etymology...



To: forkinsocket

*shrug* when I was a young lad, I was regarded as a bit of a ‘tomgirl’ because I liked playing with the girls. I still do, and allah the sudden, it’s not merely normal, but is a Manly Man’s Thang. Go figure...



To: forkinsocket

Does this mean that Natalie Portman is also a tomboy? She was bra-less when she recently was with Hillary Clinton, not that I’m complaining.



by 12 posted onby johnthebaptistmoore (Vote for conservatives AT ALL POLITICAL LEVELS! Encourage all others to do the same on November 4!)

To: steve-b

Charlize Theron, Hilary Swank, Michelle Pfeiffer, Keri Russell and Keira Knightley all say they have, or had, a whole lot of tomboy in them. Sounds kind of slutty.



by 13 posted onby VRWCmember (McCain 2008 - If it's inevitable, you might as well lay back and try to enjoy it.)

To: Bahbah

It never ceases to amaze me just how some women get their panties in a bunch --> a silly thing like labeling oneself as a tomboy. Once a girl passes the age of 12 such labels are stupid. And, normally, a women who hangs onto such labels lacks self esteem. Mom dressed me like a girl but I bested all the boys in my neighborhood at running, baseball, swimming, etc. Academically, I held my own with the boys in math and science. If I was a tomboy... so the heck what !!!



by 14 posted onby xtinct (I was the next door neighbor kid's imaginary friend.)

To: forkinsocket

Truth be told, I always liked the 'tomboys' better. They were more fun to be around in addition to being more adventurous, in many ways. ;^)



To: forkinsocket

". . .since masculinity tends to be more highly valued in our culture than femininity." For women, feminists have always valued masculinity more than femininity. But it's a fact that girls outgrow the "tomboy" thing, as they gain status among their peers or family. The girly-girl is not weak because she is more feminine. It's the niche taken by the oldest girl in a household, or the alpha female of a group of friends. Females play the part of girly-girl because they can. Name me the young girl who doesn't want to have the life of the London character on "Zack and Cody."



To: All

Forget the nickname or nomenclature - some girls just don’t need a bra - there’s no reason to wear one - it’s called flat.



To: Billthedrill

LOL!



by 18 posted onby Inyo-Mono (If you don't want people to get your goat, don't tell them where it's tied.)

To: E. Cartman

How about “Tom Dyke”



by 19 posted onby DogBarkTree (The correct word isn't "immigrant" when what they are doing is "invading".)

To: Bahbah

“Its a fine word...tomboy.” tomboy. tomfoolery. Doubting Thomas. Maybe in the Bible, God creates man, and names him Adam. Or ...a tom... Why is a male turkey called a ‘tom’?



by 20 posted onby UCANSEE2 (Just saying what 'they' won't.)

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