I’m not an expert in relationship matters, but I think this can be solved by making him two cakes.

Men love when you make them cakes and I think he will really appreciate the gesture.

The first cake should have the following ingredients:

Cake

Oral Sodium Phosphate

Go through his abode and be sure to remove all toilet paper.

Place the second cake inside his toilet. Using a piping bag, and in your finest script, write in icing: “Shit happens, I’m leaving you.”

For those unfamiliar, oral sodium phosphate is what they use to cleanse your bowels before a colonoscopy.