This week’s Rate My JIL is a little bit different, for two reasons. First, I’m going outside my discipline for the first time ever, and rating two job ads in English. Second, these are ads brought to my attention by readers.

Yesterday I shut my hand in a window (long story, and pics once the bruises come into full bloom), so I can’t type with my usual ferocity. This is rather worrying in general, and will also make blogging rather difficult this weekend, as I attempt to save what finger dexterity I do possess for my remunerative writing projects. However, just like Kanye rapped through his wired jaw, I must rate these Job Ads through my black-and-blue fingies (“fingie” said, of course, in your best Tom Haverford whine).

Hall of Shame Entry One: A Totally Reasonable Teaching Load, courtesy of reader “C”:

Midlands Technical College (Columbia, SC), Full-Time English Faculty (3)

“Qualified applicants must be committed to life as a teacher-scholar working with diverse students and faculty, developing curricula based on current composition and rhetoric approaches, engaging students with innovative use of technology and multimedia, and participating in our department’s re-visioning of a two-year college writing program for the 21st century.” So far so good…

“MTC English Faculty teach 6/5 (fall/spring) sections per 14-week semester with composition enrollments capped at 22 and literature surveys at 25, per NCTE standard.”

…AND…

“…advise students, serve on committees, and engage in professional development (funds awarded annually via application).”

Exqueese me? Dafuq? I understand this is a community college, but I was under the impression that community college faculty are still Earth Humans, and as such these “teacher-scholars” should not be expected to shoulder a higher course load than most public K-12 teachers (most teachers I know teach 5/5), plus service. SIX-FIVE. That is what our world is coming to. And I bet they get hundreds of applicants.

Hall of Shame Entry Two: A Hi-Tech Teaching Portfolio from 2002, courtesy of reader “Y”:

Framingham State U (MA), Assistant Professor of English (TT)

“Semifinalists will be asked to provide a half-hour teaching DVD of one of their classes.”

The Impossible Tech Request: A One-Act Play on How to Reveal You’re On the Market to Your Current Employers

YOU: May I borrow a video camera and a PC with a DVD burner?

DEPT. MGR: Sorry, we just donated all of our obsolete equipment to the public high school down the street, sorry. Also, why?

YOU: Oh, no reason. Definitely not on the job market, don’t worry.

DEPT. MGR: Why can’t you just have a student film you on an iPhone and then upload it to YouTube, like a normal person?

YOU: Because the search comm–I mean, no reason.

CURTAIN