NASHVILLE, TN—Following last week’s death of Titans owner Bud Adams, the long-tenured executive’s next of kin have reportedly spent the past several days dividing up the team’s players in accordance with the wishes in the late owner’s last will and testament. “It’s been tough because most of them are pretty much worthless, but some at least have a little sentimental value,” said Susan Adams, one of the former owner’s two daughters who hoped her children would get some use out of Jake Locker. “You tell yourself they’re just things and you won’t let it cause problems, but then suddenly everyone is fighting over running back Chris Johnson.” While the majority of Titans had been distributed to Adams’ family and a few prized veterans were donated to local museums, punter Brett Kern was reportedly still sitting in a storage locker waiting to be claimed.

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