Seems an especially slow Friday on Field Gulls, probably due to lack of game this week, but as you can imagine I have found myself quite bored. While boredom seems like the opposite of what we desire for day-to-day activities, it can also lead to amazing discoveries.

Imagine how bored that Newton m-----f----a was when he was sittin' under the m-----f-----n apple tree! I am tired of these motherfucking* apples on this motherfucking tree!

*"why did he edit himself in the first line and then not edit himself in the second?" tricky tricky. I told you I was bored.

Boredom has led me to break down some more stats and what I found was quite surprising.

A lot has been made about the Seahawks crappy second quarters this season and if only they played the way they do in quarter uno, tres, and quatro, they would be livin' it up like a Croatian in Blato! Except that it seems like at least one player is absolutely murdering conventional wisdom in the second quarter.

Senor Russell Wilson is the best second quarter QB in the NFL.

I was breaking down every NFL quarterback by quarter trying to find an edge for Wilson. Something that would make a nice little tidbit for a nice little article. In reality I was simply looking for a front to mention Blato, Croatia, since I recently invested all of my doubloons there. I looked in the fourth quarter because Russell is ice, but no dice.

Wilson has a passer rating of 92.3 in the fourth quarter, which is good, but ranks 10th among qualified QBs. Among unqualified QBs, he is behind Tarvaris Jackson! The best fourth quarter QBs for this season only are Nick Foles, Josh McCown (!), Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers, and even Tony Romo.

Okay, but Wilson is also dope in the third, but not "the best" ya heard?

Wilson has a passer rating of 100.9 in the third quarter with three touchdowns and one interception. Christian Ponder has a passer rating of 115.3 in the same period. There's Foles at the top again, plus Cam Newton, Philip Rivers, Colin Kaepernick, Rodgers, Manning...

Will looking at Wilson in the first finally quench thy thirst?

Ew no, look away.

Wilson has a passer rating of 74.7 in the first quarter and just 5.6 yards per attempt. With defenses able to key on what they've been working on all week long, it seems like Seattle has been doomed to slow starts all season long. That slow start seems to sometimes lead to a gigantic fuck-up in the second quarter that makes bad teams extremely too close for comfort going into half. Even though Seahawks opponents have scored just 16 points in the first quarter this year (the lowest through 11 games in franchise history) they've dropped 88 points in the second quarter.

I dared not to even look at Wilson's second quarter stats for fear that they would crush my dreams and hopes, but my God this man is doper than dope.

In the second quarter of games this season, Wilson is 61-of-95, 64.2%, 926 yards, 9.7 yards per attempt, nine touchdowns, no interceptions, and an NFL-best passer rating of 127.8. His constant-comparison Drew Brees is second with a rating of 118.8 and 12 touchdowns against two interceptions, but Wilson's 9.7 Y/A mark is redonkey.

Manning in the second quarter has 7.6 Y/A, 109.9 rating, nine touchdowns and one pick.

The breakdown of Wilson's touchdowns this year show that he's hit four second quarter touchdowns over the last three games alone. It's interesting to look back on last season and remember just how many of his touchdowns gave the Seahawks the lead but this year he's rarely been asked to do that since the other teams have such a hard time getting a lead.

Still, he has six touchdowns this year that has given Seattle the lead and a seventh that tied the Buccaneers at 24-24. There has been only one instance all season long where Wilson threw a touchdown and Seattle wasn't leading after the score -- Week 9's win over the Bucs.

Russell Wilson is amazing all of the time, it just so happens that in the second quarter right now he's simply the best.

I am definitely NOT tired of this ******fucking qb on my m*t*e*r*u*k*n* team!

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