A few years ago, I was in Los Angeles for work and I managed to wangle an invitation to a proper post-awards-ceremony Hollywood party.

It was the first and only time I have ever been to such an extravagant and showy event. There are some famous people who you recognise in the street and you think you probably know them from walking the dog so you smile, then you realise they’re actually the presenter of an ITV show about steam trains.

Then there are the famous people who radiate A-list movie star quality, their charm so full beam that there’s practically no need to turn on the lights. This party was full of that sort of famous person, all declining mini-burgers not much bigger than a fingernail. At one point, I was in the queue for the loos and a woman in a dress more expensive than my car – Primark, no doubt – stopped to talk to me. “You’re so brave,” she said, gesturing to my feet.

Sadly the main talking point seems to be that Lars von Trier has done a naughty again

It took a second to work out the source of my great courage, but scanning the floor made it clear: I was wearing flats. I was a person standing at my basic adult height in a room full of women propped up by at least a couple of inches. Every new year, I scan the honours list, but for now I’ll have to keep waiting for the recognition I deserve.

I thought of this strange encounter when reading about this year’s Cannes film festival where women, led by Cate Blanchett, the jury president, have been protesting all week for gender equality in cinema, although sadly the main talking point seems to be that Lars von Trier has done a naughty again. But there was one small gesture I appreciated. Walking the red carpet before a screening of Spike Lee’s BlacKkKlansman, Kristen Stewart pointedly removed her black Louboutin heels.

Cannes’ no-flats red carpet policy was controversial in 2015 when a group of women were denied access to a screening of Todd Haynes’s Carol because they weren’t wearing heels (the irony of barring the wearers of comfortable shoes from a film about a lesbian affair was clearly lost in translation), while Stewart has spoken before about the absurdity of the dress code.

“If you’re not asking guys to wear heels and a dress then you can’t ask me either,” she said in 2017. But this year Stewart made a point of taking off her heels in full view of the paparazzi. Good. Heels make legs look fantastic, sure, but there’s nothing so flattering as the freedom to decide.

• Rebecca Nicholson is an Observer columnist