The contempt for vegans may have reached critical mass as it has been reported that they are now “walking cabbages” in order to combat their depression, which some might believe was likely brought on by their choice in eating habits in the first place.

Individuals are now apparently walking heads of cabbage as if they were an animal – those curious why they aren’t simply walking a dog instead, psychiatrist Wen Chao provided a comment and cited potential health benefits from the practice:

“It’s a wonderful anti-stress therapy, given that walking cabbages over dogs is a win-win.” “You feel as lonely and as simple as a cabbage, so you begin to act like one and befriend one. And in that acceptance comes change.”

Several students vouched for the therapy, claiming it to be effective:

A vegan student said, “It’s a way by which depression and loneliness can be escaped; I feel free, I feel unchained–going for a walk with [the cabbage] makes me feel fully recharged.” Another student added, “If the cabbage arrives home in good condition, I just wash it off and serve it for dinner–we’re left wanting more!” A third student, seventeen-year-old Lui Ja Chen said, “When I see another cabbage walker, it’s easy to strike up a conversation. Cabbages are better than dogs as they don’t bark or start fights with the other vegetables.” According to Perez Hilton, Chen continued, “It doesn’t need feeding or leave a mess on the pavement. In fact, afterwards, I can throw the cabbage away and feel that I have tossed my feelings out with it.”

Questionable deeds have become commonplace for such practitioners who defy the world’s natural cycles, though the religion of veganism has sadly led to worse incidents…