Yes, men, that’s women. Where has good will toward women gone in this country?

After the Jian Ghomeshi scandal exploded this past fall, the hashtag #beenrapedneverreported spurred a national conversation about sexual violence that I thought might help usher in a new era of enlightenment. Yet here we are on the heels of the 25th anniversary of the massacre of women at Ecole Polytechnique with two fresh examples of what I can only call hate speech, directed at women.

First, dentistry students at Dalhousie, speculating on Facebook which of their classmates they’d like to hatef — k, perhaps with the assistance of chloroform. Then last week, a Vancouver radio host suggests his guests, popular on-air Global TV hosts Chris Gailus and Squire Barnes, pose this question to Liberal leader Justin Trudeau: who would he like to f — k, kill or marry: Michaelle Jean, the former governor general, Laureen Harper, the Prime Minister’s wife, or Health Minister Rona Ambrose.

Wow! How did we get to this place, in this wonderful country of ours, when it’s becoming commonplace online and in real life to make jokes about sexual violence, to casually speculate about causing harm to someone’s mother, daughter or sister? Jokes women will never find funny, nor should good men, when intimate-partner violence (IPV) homicides have hit a five-year high in British Columbia.

I’ve been practicing psychotherapy for 34 years in B.C. and actually began my career working with spousal abusers and violent sexual offenders.

Over the decades, I’ve observed a disturbing trend. The attitudes expressed by deeply deranged clients back then … have slowly slid into mainstream male pop culture, primarily through deeply misogynist video games, and widespread access to hardcore porn.

I see it in my office, primarily in my younger clients. I see a young man whose addiction to hardcore porn prevents him from making love to a woman he wants to marry. I’ve had parents in my office, stunned at the sexual violence depicted on their 14-year-old son’s iPhone. And I heard the calls, repeatedly all year, for an inquiry into the over 1.200 missing and murdered Aboriginal women in this country.

Women coast-to-coast voice their outrage. But where are the voices of the good men? It’s time to speak up, because we are essential to turning this despicable tide.

Here are a few things you can do:

— Email Facebook. Demand they police the use of their site for hate.

— Let advertisers who buy Facebook ad space know they are associated with a site that showcases hate.

— Sign a petition urging an inquiry into Canada’s missing and murdered women.

— Don’t laugh at jokes about sexual violence. Better yet, take the uncomfortable step of calling your best friend on it when he does it.

— And if you’ve got a teenage son in the house, have the conversation about the level of demeaning, humiliating behaviour toward women in porn.

It may be the best Christmas present he ever gets.

Michael Pond is a Vancouver psychotherapist and a recovered alcoholic. See michaelpond.ca