Rob Beard is a kicker. This is an important note in the following story because he's the player one would probably least expect to set a record that has to do with eating. Yet here we are, living in a world in which an Oregon Ducks kicker -- listed at 6-foot, 225 pounds -- now holds a record for eating.

Of course, this isn't a world record and Beard isn't devouring hot dogs like Kobayashi. But he did reportedly set an University of Oregon record for wing-eating at Campus Chicken Shack in Eugene.

Let that sink in: the kicker set an eating record. On a team full of linemen and growing young men who can likely leave buffet owners everywhere curled up in the fetal position, looking like a tornado rolled through their establishment, it was the kicker that triumphed.

The irony in the following tweet becomes apparent when you realize it came from the assistant athletic director at Oregon, James Harris, who lists "nutritionist" in his Twitter bio.

Rob Beard set the record at campus chicken shack with 48 wings. Smh.

All that offseason training, the sleepless nights in the kitchen, the weight training needed to lift wings to mouth, paid off. Rob Beard has reached the pinnacle human achievement. BCS Championships, a professional career, football's highest honors; none of these things matter anymore. It's all downhill for Beard after his record-setting night.