Another similarity between dog borrowing and online dating is that it fosters a vacillation between egotism and anxiety. The first impression is that you are looking at a train carriage full of dogs, all of which are potentially available to you. The gradual realisation follows that there are many, many other people also competing for the railway carriage full of dogs, many of whom are potentially more qualified than you for dog borrowing. It is important not to get your heart too set on a dog early on, or build that dog up too much in your mind, but both things are easier said than done. I ‘favourite’ Max the splurcher twice, in a bid to get his attention, but, after two weeks, he still hasn’t got in touch. After no reply from Bentley, a young cockerpoo, I find myself re-examining my profile picture, taken in 2011, in which I’m wearing a fur trapper’s hat and sitting in a field in Norfolk. Perhaps I should lose the hat? Has my appearance changed much in three years? Maybe I need a more up-to-date, honest photo. Indie, the mini What-a-Mess dog, doesn’t reply to my opening message either, and I wonder if I’ve come on a bit strong, suggesting a walk straight away.