Recap: We made it to the Elite Four!

We enthusiastically head towards the entrance to the Elite Four battles only to be stopped by this guard, who crushes my hopes by telling me I have to use the ‘Set’ setting.

Damn it. That means I can’t switch out Pokemon whenever it says “so and so is about to send out blah blah blah”. This just got a whole lot harder.

I look to Shawn for comfort. He responds by singing the background music. I guess that means he’s ready.

Tobias: I see you’ve finally made it. I’m obliged to formally introduce myself, though I believe we are already acquainted with each other. I am Tobias. Brother of the Ghost-type Gym Leader Graham, and the Dark-type user of the Elite Four. We met on top of Mount Press, remember? How the creature Odin thought was Arceus was merely a phantom I designed? But no matter. You are here for a single purpose – and that is to battle! Now, defeat me, and see if you are worthy of the title of champion!

I get all excited when I see Shawn is about to OHKO Tobias’s first Pokemon, then that Focus Slash interferes. Not to mention we discover that we’re not really facing a three headed dragon, but a Zoroark. With 1HP left, I go ahead and tell Shawn to use Dark Pulse so as not to waste the rest of his good moves (as I don’t have any Ethers with me). I bang my head against the keyboard when a Full Restore gets used, because, hur de dur, this is the Elite Four. Full Restores are their specialty.

I got lucky. Dark Pulse was a critical hit.

With Zoroark out of the way, a Tyranitar gets sent out.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but Tyranitar isn’t Dark-type, is he? At least, I don’t think he was in my Emerald game…

Fire blast is not very effective, but at the very least, it gave him a nice burn. Made me feel better knowing that now at the end of every turn, we were both losing HP. Shawn was getting hit by his sandstorm while Tyranitar nursed his burn.

At the end of this turn, Shawn survived with 4HP left, so I used a Full Restore on him because I wasn’t going to take my chances. I mean, Shawn was attacking first every turn, but with the ‘Set” battle change I can’t just switch out when the enemy loses. I have to heal whenever I get the chance. Poor Shawn might have to face Tobias all by himself.

Tobias takes the turn to heal as well. If anything, it’s as if the battle between Tyranitar and Shawn started over.

Once Tyranitar faints, the Real Slim Shady comes out to kill Shawn. He does just that. Genevieve tries a Dig on Hydreigon, despite the fact he is (evidently) hovering over the ground juuuuust out of her reach.

Genevieve sends some dragon power his way and brings him down. Absol is Tobias’s next warrior, but he doesn’t last more than a couple turns.

Yeah, hi, I’ll take one Dragon Rush to go please?

To go straight into Honchkrow’s FACE.

Think I’ll pick myself up some ONE-SHOTTED Misdreavus while I’m at it.

Tobias: Tell me, Saga, have you ever heard of the Sigil Halls?

I’m gonna just go ahead and say no so you can explain them to me.

Tobias: On the Eastern end of the Vesryn Region, there is a landmass known as the Vesryn Spear. Inside the cities of this region lies four buildings known as the Sigil Halls. Think of them… as a sort of Gym for the Elite Four.

Oh great. This means I’m gonna have to fight them all over again once I’m done here.

Tobias: Only those who have beaten the Elite Four themselves are permitted to battle there. I think you can make it through. I expect you to be at mine in due time! Best of luck in the future!

We heal up before talking to the next guy. Since I don’t know all of the typings of the Elite Four, I took a wild guess that we’d be facing that water chick from way back when who fought alongside Saga that one time. I put Barret up front. As soon as I talked to Corlett, I learned he was an Electric user. With Barret the first one to go, we may not cut through this guy as quickly as Tobias.

Corlett: Welcome, Saga! I’m Corlett, the Electric-type user 0f the Elite Four! Remember me? We met back in Asgard’s secret lair, when they were trying to fuse Sableye and Shedinja.

You know what? I’ve actually met the Elite Four members throughout this whole game, and yet somehow I have forgotten their movesets. That one chick was water, this guy was electric, Tobias was dark… I forget who is left…

Corlett: I heard that you defeated Odin. My congratulations! And now you’re here, taking on the Elite Four. Just because you beat Odin doesn’t mean I’m going easy on you! I hope you’re ready! It’s time to drop some beats!

There is actually an in-game typo here. Corlett really says “it’s type to drop some beats”. I assumed it was supposed to say ‘time’.

This was the pattern of the entire fight against Lanturn. Crunch, Crunch, Crunch, Aqua Ring, Full Restore, Discharge. I refused to send someone else out because Lanturn’s typing scares me. Water and Electric, right? That’s freaking terrifying.

So Barret had to wait him out and just Crunch over and over until he finally landed a critical hit that killed him.

Galvantula was the next opponent and I kept Barret out to fight him just for the hell of it. I thought it would be funny if Barret could manage to sweep the Electric-Leader just by spamming Crunch over and over.

Galvantula’s experience points leveled him up to 75.

Alas, the fun could not last forever. Corlett’s Mega Ampharos Thunder-ed Barret back into his PokeBall, demanding a different type to come forth to challenge him.

You may have a Mega Pokemon, Corlett, but I’ve got a shiny Garchomp, and she’s about to kick your ass!

She kicked Ampharos’s ass all right, but then something called an Eelektross came out and Ice Beam-ed until Genevieve required a Full Restore every turn. Hoping to spare her from fainting, I take a chance and withdraw her, putting Yukio in her place.

Goddamnit, Colett’s a dick.

In the same turn, he withdraws his eel Pokemon and sends out Magnezone instead. It’s like he knew I was going to put Yukio in front of him.

Well, this isn’t going to work.

I return Yukio and put Shawn on the battlefield instead.

Two Fire Punches later and we’re back in business.

Electivire tests our patience, but a burn takes him down before he becomes a real threat.

The eel is Colett’s last line of defense.

I realize that I actually have 3 Max Ethers in my possession, so I ask Shawn to use his last PP of Fire Blast on Eelektross. It works and we defeat the second Elite Four member!

Colett: I just realize you’d have an easier time of the Elite Four, giving that the Champion retired many years ago.

Yeah, all this talk about ‘no champion’ isn’t flying with me. Someone’s gonna be waiting at the end of this to battle me, and I’m scared to death it’s going to be Jake. Why am I scared it’s Jake? Because I don’t want to make it ALL the way to the end of the Elite Four just to LOSE to his ‘swag’. I mean, it’s highly unlikely I would lose to him anyway, like, ever, but how humiliating would that be if by some chance I did?

Colett: The former champion being your mother, of course. I would assume you’d get the title of Champion after just beating the Elite Four. Best of luck, anyways! I hope to see you at my Sigil Hall if all goes well!

Ugh, don’t remind me. I am dreading fighting all of you guys a second time.