Drivers with plates that boast “CRIM1NAL,” “SELFISH” and “MAKEM3” are probably going to park wherever the hell they want — but they’re still getting ticketed.

New Yorkers with vanity plates earned little sympathy from traffic agents, who papered their cars with 115,477 parking summonses in fiscal year 2015, city records analyzed by The Post and AAA Northeast show.

A white 2012 Range Rover implored people to “GOOGLEME” on its New York plates, but traffic cops apparently didn’t bother, hitting it with 59 violations over the fiscal year for failing to display a parking receipt and parking in front of expired meters on Avenue P, records show.

And agents were heartless when it came to a white 2014 BMW with “THEHEART” plates, ticketing it 36 times for parking in no-parking zones in Soho and for having expired registration in the fiscal year, which ran from October 2014 to September 2015.

Even “MRPRSDNT,” a white 2013 Lexus, couldn’t get a VIP discount for speeding through a school zone on Bay Parkway and parking in no-standing areas 34 times, the records show.

Agents certainly thought “VERD1CT” was guilty of leaving a black 2015 BMW sedan in front of expired parking meters on Coney Island Avenue, where they ticketed the driver 19 times.

“WHYZGUY” thought he could get away with parking his white 2015 Infiniti sedan in front of a hydrant at least two times this year. He racked up 21 parking tickets over the fiscal year.

And “REDDIT” must have been too busy commenting online to remember to display his parking-meter ticket on his gray 2010 Nissan’s dashboard. The car’s driver collected 22 tickets.

Agents also refused to turn a “BL1ND” eye to a black 2014 Audi that, according to the records, was hit with 20 tickets for parking at Brooklyn bus stops.

Smugness certainly won’t win you any favors. A black all-electric 2013 Tesla with the plates “GOTNOGAZ” got 16 summonses for offenses across the city, records show.