Dear Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr.,

Acere, it looks like it's time for you to start re-evaluating your public image and the legacy you're going to leave behind for your kids to follow. Right now, as far as the human race goes, you're a step below una cucaracha con trensas. In the past five years alone, you've managed to turn every group from women to midgets against you, yet somehow you still haven't realized what's blatantly obvious to the rest of us: that you've become the architect of your own demise.

Normally I would have offered you a bit of pingu advice to help you realize the error of your ways, but since you've managed to insult my team, my city, and my people, I'm going to help you turn your slow descent into irrelevance into a plummet that's going to make the Red Bull Space Jump look like a ride at the Dade County Youth Fair.



Listen here, "Weasel" Wayne: I'm pulling your ho card. You've been making a lot of scandalous news lately, but why don't you tell the public the truth about why your bitch-ass has been acting like un sapingo in public lately? Do you expect us to believe it's a coincidence that your new album (appropriately named) I Am Not a Human Being 2 comes out in a month, just as you are generating as much press as possible to draw attention to yourself? The album's cover depicts a moth -- could you be planning on using the symbolic metaphor of "change" associated with that image to later win back all the people you pissed off, disrespected, and insulted during its marketing campaign?

Of course, you won't admit to any of that shit -- because you're a ho, pipo. And just like all hoes, getting you to shake your ass is just a matter of throwing enough money at you. You may be a baller, but you have a price.

Bandz a make ya dance.

You have no dignity or respect for anything, including the struggle of your own people. You orchestrated the release of a song disrespecting the memory of a martyr of the civil rights movement during Black History Month, just so you can get a little more media attention. And if that weren't enough, the person whose memory you chose to disgrace with your vile bullshit was that of a 14-year-old child who was tortured and murdered. Acere, lo tuyo no tiene nombre. The levels of your depravity are so low that if Ben & Jerry's were to create an ice-cream flavor after you, it would be called "Vomito con Pinga."

Bandz a make ya dance.

Eres un mierda, you are the absolute furthest thing from un macho I've ever seen. Eres peor que el focking Drake, compadre. Por lo menos el Drake is just soft, but you're not only soft, papa, you're straight pussy. You're a 30-year-old father dressing like a 15-year-old Hot Topic employee just so you can stay relevant to the white people that call you a clown. You're so fucking clueless that if you fell into into a barrel full of tetas, you'd come up sucking two dicks.

Bandz a make ya dance.

The sad part is that you're so out of touch with reality you think you look like a "skater," but what you don't realize is that you actually look like una negra marimacha playing bench in the WNBA.

And you call yourself the modern-day Tupac? Sorry, papo, you're more like a modern-day minstrel show, a disgrace to your own people.