1. When you say "Don't stop" and he totally changes what he's doing. I said, "Don't stop," which means don't go faster, don't go harder, just literally do exactly what you're doing!

2. When you have to casually shift your body so his body is in the right spot. "Oh, I'm just moving, just getting more comfortable, just getting to a place that actually feels remotely good to me."

3. When you just lose it. "I was so close! So close! And no, William, I don't know what happened!"

4. When you finally orgasm but it's, like, meh. Blue balls can suck it. This feeling is the actual worst.

5. When you accidentally start picturing someone you hate. Look, for whatever reason, that's gonna get us there faster. Never speak of this again, that man is disgusting.

6. When you start picturing one of his friends. It's wrong, it's so wrong! And you're not even into his friend. I mean, I guess a little bit when he laughs. He has kind of a great laugh. OK, focus! You can deal with these feelings after you orgasm.

7. When you start doing the "It's fine, it's totally fine" monologue because at least he tried. "Oh, no, it was so good for a while there. You were really ... doing a lot ... of stuff. It's probably just me ..." Yep. Me and the fact that you are bad at this!

8. When he thinks he's killing it but he's totally in the wrong spot. Yeah, that part of my thigh doesn't need to be humped, thanks.

9. When you're done and he wants to cuddle and you wanna sleep. Despite popular opinion that this doesn't happen to women, we're just as likely as dudes to have an orgasm and immediately want a cuddle-free nap.

10. When you have a leg cramp but don't want to move because it might totally ruin it for you. So you just hope your leg numbs entirely 'cause who cares.

11. When his dirty talk does the opposite of turn you on. "I guess we should have talked about this in advance, but calling me 'mommy' just made me so dry."

12. When he's so into a really weird position and you are so not.

Who liked this position??? Was her name Samara? Did she own a pleather backpack and wear fringe vests? Do you guys still talk? Well, how often? I mean, that's kind of weird and you never mentioned her before.

13. When he's jackhammering away and you're trying to slow him down and it's not working. And you have to gently remind him he doesn't really even need a rhythm to get off but you definitely do.

14. When part of you just wants him to leave so you can masturbate. This is a sad but awesome feeling.

15. When he thinks just because he came sex is over.

Yeeeeah. Nice try.

16. When you — sometimes, not very often — actually break down and fake it. Men seem to think that women fake it to deceive them. No. We fake it so you will stop doing whatever mime-in-a-box routine you were doing that was never going to get us off. Faking it is just our way of making you stop doing whatever that was. And on a related note: Never fake it. Tell him what you want and if he won't do it, he's probably not right for you. You're worth a damn good orgasm!

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Lane Moore Sex & Relationships Editor I'm Lane Moore, sex & relationships editor at Cosmopolitan.com.

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