



“ Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage

Tell me why I so need a cute girl my age ” So Need a Cute Girl

Virgin with rage was Chris's description of himself whilst he was still a virgin. Chris claimed that when he was a virgin, his condition engendered frustration and, well, rage.

Chris was very self-conscious about being a virgin, and frequently brought up the subject unprompted, even in casual conversation with people he had only just met. However, after being advised by his parents that it wasn't a good idea to mention that he was a VIRGIN WITH RAGE, he stopped this practice,[1] one of the few times he has learned from his mistakes.

In April 2012, Chris finally lost his virginity to a prostitute known as Mia Hamm. It changed nothing about Chris's life whatsoever.

Hormonal rage

Chris was extremely distressed about the possibility of being destined to be a virgin forever.

“ Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself. ” Chris on Megan, Story of My Current Days.

Despite his claims that he was "holding back", the emails with Megan paint a different picture, describing instances of him doing exactly what he says he wouldn't, by giving her random and unwanted touches.[2][3]

In another instance, Chris attempted to kiss Emily by surprise, during an unusually generous hug, but she was able to avoid it, and left unscarred.[4]

Also, during the Father Call, Kacey's father Matthew Devoria accused him of feeling Kacey in a "touchy-feely" manner, including touching her shoulder and sniffing her. Chris mentions this was because he was "nervous" at the time and because he wanted to see which one of her perfumes was better.

Likewise, Facebook correspondence between Chris and a young man named Joshua Alba revealed this pearl:

“ I've thought of a funny message for a Valentine's Day card. On the outside, "Please Be Mine," and on the inside, "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in." I am not a sex freak; I'm just lonesome and sometimes horny. ” Chris, Facebook messages, 10 January 2010.[5]

References by Chris

No longer a virgin (No word on the rage)

Chris bragging about how he paid for sex.

On 12 April 2012, two leaked Facebook statuses depicted Chris as having finally lost his virginity. The posts contained several points highly suggesting Chris hired a prostitute:

She compared him to the last guy she was with.

She told him a blatant lie to make him feel good about himself.

Perhaps the most telling of all, Chris said that his eventual 'Sweetheart-to-be' will find out about it, meaning that this was a one night stand.

Roughly a month later, on 1 May, Chris wrote in a Facebook note that his virgin breaker could be found "somewhere on the backpage." Most assumed he was referring to Backpage.com, a website well-known for featuring sex service ads.[6] This made it even more apparent that Chris resorted to paying for sex.

In a conversation that was leaked on 25 July 2014, Chris confirmed what everyone already knew; he hired a prostitute to take his virginity. A few months later, a leaked email detailed his experience with her and revealed she went by the alias of Mia Hamm. Given that Chris practically had to bribe someone for his first time, all at the age of thirty, this brings a less-than-ideal conclusion to the virginal chapter of his ongoing Love Quest (which, despite his bragging, was never an option he considered with any level of enthusiasm).

Incidentally, both prostitution and solicitation of prostitution are illegal in Virginia.[7] Therefore, Chris has committed yet another crime.

Aftermath

Despite his hopes, losing his virginity did not appear to make Chris any happier. His Twitter and Facebook updates in the weeks, months, and years since showed him sliding deeper into depression. An April 2012 post on Twitter stated, "The virgin-breaker was a Great Milestone for me, and it made me feel more self-confident, but still, it was One thing. I still require my Sweetheart. :_( ...<3" In August 2013, Chris even mentioned that he was more stressed, and in August 2014, the Sonic Boom Saga began.

References



