Free events in Toronto this week come via big names like the Luminato Festival and Etsy. Full disclosure: lounging on a cardboard beach may or may not be fun - I haven't tried it yet. There are also live music shows, lit events (sexy and regular), and dance parties to be had, plus some kitten petting. Never say no to free kitten snuggles.

Here's how to hang out on the cheap in Toronto this week when the park is too crowded.

Balcony and Terrace Container Gardening: Secrets of Success

Horticulturalists Toronto Master Gardeners just want you to have the best container garden you can. Monday, June 2, 1:30pm, Toronto Reference Library Beeton Auditorium (789 Yonge St. Toronto).

Collecting Art in 2014: A Panel Discussion

One way to get out of being broke long-term could be to invest in art. If you ask me, all it takes is hanging out with some grimy under-appreciated artists in the market and hoping some of the artists giving you cardboard paintings for beer make it big, but in case you don't want to take my advice, this panel is free to attend. Tuesday, June 3, 7pm, 1313 (1313 Queen St. West).

Smiths Tribute feat. Slapback

Moz won't come to Canada but for PWYC you can squint until it's real at Holy Oak this week. Tuesday, June 3, 10pm, Holy Oak Cafe (1241 Bloor Street West)

Tell Me Something Good: Sexy Storytelling Slam

Miss playing truth or dare? Inspired by Bawdy Storytelling in California, Tell Me Something Good invites you to stop by and throw your name into their (sexy?) hat -- a lucky few will be selected to speak. And yes, warm up games include truth or dare. Wednesday, June 4, 8pm, Gladstone Hotel (1214 Queen Street West).

DOC NOW Festival 2014 Screenings

11 films in four programs will screen for free as party as Ryerson's DOC NOW Fest. Check out more about these screenings here. June 4-5, 6:30pm, Bloor Hot Docs Cinema (504 Bloor Street West).

Spring Fling

The Piston is giving the last weeks of spring a rush of fun with The Order of Good Cheer (who are releasing an album), Dine Alone Foods, Collective Arts Brewing, and Gooch's World Famous Smoked Meat. For PWYC you can show up to win prizes, see bands, dance to DJs, and see surprise guests. June 4, 11, 18, 25, 9pm, The Piston (937 Bloor St West).

Pivot Finale

Pivot is closing up shop for their 2013-14 season. Angela Hibbs, Aisha Sasha John, Jim Johnstone, and Suzannah Showler will read. It's a good cheap date for literary types, but donate whatever you can to these poor authors. Wednesday, June 4, 8pm, The Press Club (850 Dundas Street West).

Cardboard Beach

If you live or work downtown and fantasize about running away (but not too far away) to catch some rays, art has your back. Luminato will install a fully licensed temporary beach at their hub at David Pecaut Square from June 6-15, where the world's largest disco ball hung last year. The catch? Unlike Toronto's admittedly decent existing beaches, this "oasis" will be entirely made of cardboard. Parties will take place at the beach (with food!) so check out Luminato's website for more. June 6-15, Luminato Festival Hub at David Pecaut Square (55 John Street)

IsKw Live in the Stacks

All ages event Live in the Stacks is back bringing the music IsKw, a Cree/Dene/Irish alternative r&b/trip hop artist, to the quiet old library. Friday, June 6, 8pm, Spadina Road Library (10 Spadina Road).

SlowPitch Live at The Film Buff East

We've featured sci-fi loving turntablist SlowPitch in our breakout band series, and here's a chance to see him work those decks live and for free while browsing films, and maybe splurging on an ice cream if it's hot. Friday, June 6, 7pm, Film Buff (1380 Queen Street East).

Etsy Craft Party

This free all ages crafting event will supply all the art supplies you need to jazz up your old photos, if that's what you're into. Friday, June 5, 5pm, Textile Museum of Canada (55 Centre Avenue).

Entranced Island 2014

Finally, a free music event on the island that isn't in support of "men's equality." Local trance DJs will entertain you in a non-political, non-sketchy environment, as Toronto goes back to its friendly, normal self. If you can donate $10 for the DJ set up, please do. Saturday, June 7, 11am-10pm, Hanlan's Point, Toronto Islands.

Riverdale Art Walk

Scope some art in the east end: over 130 artists will show work in (almost) every medium you can imagine. Saturday, June 7, 11am-6pm, Jimmie Simpson Park (870 Queen St East).

Toronto Etsy Street Team 5th Annual Springtime Market

Etsy is taking over Toronto this weekend, which is good news for those who love all things crafty. Vendors will be set up in Church of Saint Stephen-in-the-Fields on Saturday, where there will also be swag giveaways and free craft workshops. Saturday, June 7, 11am-5pm, Church of Saint Stephen in the Fields (103 Bellevue Avenue).

Puppy and Kitten Weekend

Need some tips from puppy and kitten experts? Groomers, trainers, veterinarians, and (ugh) breeders will be offering free demos and info at Pawsway - oh, and there will be puppies and kittens there. Cuddle said baby animals, roll your eyes at the breeders, and remember to adopt from rescues and shelters, y'all. Saturday, June 7, 12-5pm, Purina PawsWay (245 Queen's Quay West).

Also, check out these regular free events in Toronto

Do you want everyone to know about your kinda random free or pay-what-you-can event? Submit it to our event section. (You can also submit your for-money events here, greedy-pants.)

Photo still of Straight Guys from Doc Now