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Hitler finds out he can't play himself in the Hearts of Iron mod: Kaiserreich.

Hitler is not in Kaiserreich

00:00 - 00:03 Kaiserreich is a mod for Hearts of Iron

00:04 - 00:05 It can be played in Darkest Hour or HOI4

00:05 - 00:07 It imagines our timeline if Deutschland won the Weltkrieg

00:08 - 00:12 It has well developed histories and events for major and minor nations;

00:12 - 00:15 many say it is better than the vanilla game.

00:17 - 00:19 That is good, without the Treaty of Versailles

00:19 - 00:21 I would have had many more opportunities as Führer.

00:24 - 00:25 My Führer,

00:26 - 00:28 you did not survive in the Kaiserreich timeline.

00:31 - 00:33 You published a positive version of Mein Kampf

00:34 - 00:37 but died in an intervention of the Russian Civil War.

00:53 - 00:58 I want you to leave if you've ever posted a screen shot from your phone asking "Is this a unicorn?"

01:13 - 01:15 This is the biggest crock since paying full price for Death or Dishonor!

01:15 - 01:17 Who even uses licenses?

01:18 - 01:23 Twenty dollars that I could have spent of Doritos and Mountain Dew.

01:25 - 01:28 Why wouldn't I be in the game? I'm such a stable genius.

01:29 - 01:31 It's not like I'm responsible for the death of millions of people?

01:31 - 01:34 The war and holocaust and atrocities don't count.

01:34 - 01:37 In fifty years the will be people stupid enough to say it never happened.

01:37 - 01:40 I should at least be allowed to be best friends with Kaiser Wilhelm!

01:40 - 01:42 My Führer, Paradox considers you too controversial. They don't even use your picture in Vanilla.

01:42 - 01:46 Bullshit, Paradox used gas in Victoria and slavery in Europa Universalis.

01:46 - 01:48 My Führer, no one wants you in Kaiserreich except Alt-Right virgins.

01:48 - 01:52 Only virgins play Paradox games.

01:53 - 01:54 I am that Alt Right virgin.

01:56 - 01:57 Do you think I would have every tried to conquer Europe if I had ever been with a woman?

01:57 - 02:00 I know some people say transsexuals count. But they don't.

02:00 - 02:03 Playing Crusader Kings and marrying my sisters is the only way I can get it up anymore

02:04 - 02:08 I only wanted Kaiserreich so I could see what I'd look like in the Anime Mod.

02:08 - 02:13 It would have been huge jugs and black leather. I'd go wack wack wack.

02:14 - 02:16 There isn't enough lotion for what I'd do to myself.

02:17 - 02:21 But all of those tankie perverts can play Georgia and do what they want with Stalin.

02:27 - 02:29 I'm not even trying to be gross.

02:30 - 02:34 I didn't intend to go this far on the whacking stuff.

02:34 - 02:36 I just wanted to really say how stupid it would be to have Hitler in Kaiserreich.

02:41 - 02:42 Now everyone thinks **I'm** the pervert.

02:42 - 02:47 And maybe I am. I sometimes use the anime mod. It's really well done but it makes me feel gross so always unsubscribe again.

02:48 - 02:53 A lot of people use it and don't seem to mind. Why can't I?

02:54 - 02:56 I should just play Austria.

02:56 - 02:59 I'm an Austrian and Kaiser Karl is the only actual good guy in the whole game.

02:59 - 03:02 He'll be made a saint some day while people use my name to demonize middle managers.

03:04 - 03:07 His feast day is October 21.

03:04 - 03:06 Karl has already be beatified.

03:14 - 03:16 It's too late. No one is going to finish this video.

03:19 - 03:23 Some people can get away with joking about masturbation but it just sound wrong coming from me.

03:25 - 03:28 It's weird.

03:31 - 03:34 I just wanted to honor Bruno Ganz since he did such an amazing job portrarying me in Downfall.

03:40 - 03:46 I'm more famous than him but only for killing people and losing wars.

03:46 - 03:49 Wikipedia says he had a kid so he probably wasn't a virgin