revolutionarygays:

rainfelt:

revolutionarygays: rainfelt: I have zero patience for the “I was called a dirty sexhaver by an ace person” defense. First of all because I’ve been accused of saying that based on nothing, so my anecdote tells me your anecdote is sometimes imaginary, and second because that’s a shitty reason to try to shut people out of the community. “One person was mean to me once (incidentally in a way that’s obviously them lashing out because of how they’ve been oppressed)” will never be good logic, no matter what. Don’t even try that bullshit with me. this post is shit and reads like “i have zero patience for victims of sexual assault who have been made to feel uncomfortable or triggered by the language the ‘ace community’ uses” like God forbid you have any respect for LGBT people who are, by the way, infinitely more likely to be victims of sexual trauma. our feelings are just bullshit to you i suppose! Okay. Let’s break this down.



1.) no, your feelings and your trauma aren’t bullshit. What is bullshit is saying, “a few ace people have hurt me, therefore ace people don’t get to be respected or allowed in LGBTQIA safe spaces”.



2.) like for example putting ace community in scare quotes? Or calling “dirty sexhaver” the language the ace community uses. Please, bring me some receipts, because I will fully apologize if this is somehow community-wide terminology.



3.) somehow we can’t respect “lgbt” people without throwing “ia” people under the bus? That’s unacceptable.



4.) I think you are probably underestimating the proportion of specifically ace people who experience sexual violence. Because there’s a lot of intracommunity ignorance about who experiences violence. For example we tend to claim statistics for “the LGBT community” that are disproportionately people of color, bi, and trans. Specifically, black trans women.



Like, do you even know what the rate of corrective rape is among ace people? I’m guessing no, because it hasn’t been studied. The first study of prejudice against asexual people was only conducted in 2012. Small sample size in Canada, but the results were not promising. Hopefully more research will continue to be done, so that those of us concerned with oppression olympics can know more definitively how okay it is to dismiss entire groups of people because a few were mean to us.

listen the term “corrective rape” exists because a word was needed to describe sexual violence against lesbians. i know corrective rape. intimately. corrective rape is a severe issue for lesbian communities and affects us astronomically. don’t come to me and preach to me, as a survivor of sexual assault from a man, about corrective rape. we know. we know that struggle. consider for a moment that lesbians who have been coerced or molested or forced into sex they didn’t want might just be fucking triggered by the way that ace discourse functions. consider that terms like “allosexual” and posts that mock “allosexual culture” might hurt victims of sexual trauma. consider for a moment that using broad terms like “allosexual” might be harmful to victims of trauma w little understanding of how they experience sexual attraction and may not feel like the “comfortable with sex” label is for them at all. consider that you are applying this to trauma victims without their consent. consider that actual corrective rape victims are hurt by terminology that deems them “sexual”.

consider for a second that some ace terminology could be flawed and unusable at its core.