2. Snott Gorila Hair Styling Gel a/k/a moco de gorila "is THE product for all the most way-out hair styles that need GORILLA STRENGTH!"

1. Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers : stick 'em "onto the inside of your underwear or pants, exactly where you think [they] go."

3. Jockey's Sculptured Pouch...for your sculptured pouch.

4. Product names matter. For example:

5. When you're talking food, product names really matter. Cómo se dice gag reflex?

6. Cat Butt Gum features "8 peppermint pieces of 'Kiss My Ass' attitude per box."

7. Placenta Shampoo and Conditioner. Nummy.

8. Just what you've never wanted!

9. More important than a product's name are of course a product's ingredients.

10. Riiiiiight.

11. "If your butt is so sore that you have to walk bowlegged like a monkey, you have Monkey Butt!" Cue the Anti Monkey Butt Powder.

12. And, finally, Super Macho capsules are "dietary supplements [containing] bovine orchic - testicular - substance and Vitamin E in a base of wheat germ oil and other ingredients." Translation? They're bull semen pills.