A shopper at the Nordstrom Rack in Colma, Calif., says she asked a mother nicely to quiet her screaming child before getting punched in the face on Nov. 3, according to KPIX 5 TV.

Natalie Bree Hajek-Richardson was standing in line to purchase some items when the preschool-age child cut loose into a dramatic and loud tantrum.

“It didn’t bother me that the child was throwing the tantrum, but the volume was very loud, it was hurting my ears,” Hajek-Richardson told KPIX 5 TV.

The shopper made a friendly comment to the mom about the noise level and the mother became defensive.

“She came to the side of me and told me not to tell her child what to do. And I told her that I didn’t ask your child what to do, I asked you very nicely to calm down your child just a little bit,” Hajek-Richardson shared with KPIX 5 TV.

Hajek-Richardson fought back by saying, ““I told her to go to hell and she told me I’ll see you there.”

As the disgruntled shopper left Nordstrom, the mom followed her and the two continued to argue in the parking lot. According to Hajek-Richardson, the mother punched her in the face twice.

“My teeth hurt, my elbow hurts, I got a bruise on my thigh,” she said.

No doubt, the mother’s behavior was inappropriate and she will likely be charged with assault if police are able to identify her via fuzzy surveillance footage. The mother clearly has anger management issues and needs help.

But, I’m going to make what will probably be an unpopular comment and say that I don’t think the shopper should have told the mother to quiet her child — even if she did so nicely.

A much better and helpful comment would have been something like, “It looks like you’re having a really hard day. Can I help?”

That said, Hajek-Richardson’s unhelpful comment never should have been responded to with a punch in the face.

Children have tantrums and typically go through a stage in their childhoods when they throw an overwhelming number. This tantrum stage kicks in at all different ages and can last months (or years). My first daughter started at age 1 and continued to have emotional outbursts until 4. My son didn’t have his first real meltdown until 4. I thought I was in the clear and then one day on a drive home from swimming he was screaming at the top of his lungs because I had refused to buy him a donut (read about it here).

A pediatrician will tell you that a child’s tendency to tantrum mainly depends on temperament and the maturity of their self-regulation skills, two things children are born with and parents can only do so much to change. Kids also get upset when they’re sleep deprived, and, yes, some children are tantrum prone due to bad parenting, but an outsider has no way of knowing exactly why a kid is in the midst of a raging outburst and really shouldn’t judge.

Yes, if you’re in a restaurant and a kid is screaming you have every right to ask the family to step outside, but a Nordstrom Rack is a perfectly reasonable place to take a child. In this situation, the mother was on edge and unstable (and who knows what sort of drama she’s dealing with in her life) and both she and her child should have been at home napping and not navigating a chaotic environment such as a discount clothing store. But moms make mistakes, and sometimes adventure out into the world when both they and their children are exhausted, emotional and fragile.

What’s more, trying to quiet a child during a tantrum is easier said than done. When a child starts to tantrum, any expert will tell you that the best thing to do is make sure he’s safe and then walk a few steps away and ignore the behavior. Trying to console or stop the child only gives her what she wants — attention — and reenforces the behavior. You can always scoop up your screaming toddler and remove them from a situation and the mom at the Nordstrom Rack should have probably tried to do this, but in most cases an outburst ends more quickly when you don’t wrestle the child.

Bottom line: A lot of bad decisions were made and lessons learned at the Colma Nordstrom Rack the other day. I’m hoping Hajek-Richardson recovers quickly and the police track down the mother and she receives appropriate punishment for her violent actions. I also hope the mom gets some psychological help and support to help her manage her anger and better deal with these sorts of situations in the future.