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With a third of UK children now growing up in one-parent households, TV presenter and divorced dad of two Tim Lovejoy, 44, explains why he believes caring for youngsters should be split 50/50 when parents split up.

After researching the issue for Sharing Mum and Dad, a Channel 4 Dispatches document­ary to be shown tonight at 8pm, he says the kids are always the losers when one parent is not allowed to stay in their lives...

When I got a divorce it was hard enough knowing that my marriage had ended, but I also realised that my relationship with my twin girls Rose and Grace, who are now 10, could never be the same again.

My family had been broken down the middle.

It’s been a difficult eight years and there have been plenty of problems, but today I have a hands-on role in their lives.

I’ve got a great relationship with my kids and I have 50/50 access. My ex-wife and I have a shared parenting agreement. I don’t have any problem with that.

But when I was going through the divorce it became apparent to me that I wasn’t highly regarded by the law.

I always promised myself that if I could do something about this, then I would.

I just couldn’t believe that in this day and age, in Britain, a man could kiss his children goodnight seven nights a week and then, after splitting up with their mother, he wouldn’t be able to see them at all except for perhaps once a fortnight. The idea of not being able to see my children was absolutely horrific to me.

I started investigating this issue and found out that we in Britain are lagging behind many other countries.

I’ve also been using Twitter to gauge opinion on joint parenting following separation, and I generally get contacted by two sorts of people.

Firstly, dads who perhaps don’t have access to their children or who are spending a fortune in the courts trying to win access.

Secondly, mums, who wish dads were around, who say their ex-partners are shirking responsibilities and want nothing to do with their children.

Whichever case it is, the results are always heartbreaking. In both cases it’s the children who are missing out. Understandably, this is an issue that causes anger, frustration and hurt.

Clearly there are a lot of people out there who are struggling to get decent contact with their kids. In my lifetime things have changed. When I was growing up in the 1970s, the thought of parents taking an equal share of childcare seemed absurd.

(Image: Tim Anderson)

This approach by the law may have worked years ago when men were less inclined to see their children. Now men want a hands-on role and there is no difference between fathers and mothers in terms of parenting. I have a lot of sympathy with men who join groups like Fathers 4 Justice. They often come across as desperate, but your children are young for only a short time and it must be heartbreaking to know you are missing out on that.

As a divorced parent I know how difficult it is to keep your emotions in check. The person that you married, the person you’ve had children with, can become your enemy. You’re pitted against each other by solicitors and the legal system and the children are left in the middle of all that. As a parent a separation is akin to a bereavement, and to add to that burden, your children are not always around you. It slowly eats away.

Speaking to the children of divorced parents, I realised how they really need both Mum and Dad if possible. What they talked about was stability.

For them it is not about bricks and mortar. The actual house where they live is irrelevant. Stability in a child’s life is having the love of both Mum and Dad.

I also spoke to Tim Loughton, the Government’s former Minister for Children and Families about the law that governs this – the Children Act of 1989. I told him the start-point in the courts should be 50/50 residency for the children with both parents.

That is where we differ. He thinks the presumption should be shared parenting without stipulating a ratio between mother and father.

But he also told me that all studies show children do best when they are brought up by both parents.

Any change at all will be an improvement, because at the moment the law puts all the power in the hands of one parent, and then that parent often abuses that power. It is in their interest to be the resident carer of a child, as it is known in law.

The problem is that you cannot legislate for warring parents. And when it comes to the welfare of ­children, sometimes it’s the adults who need to grow up.

When I started looking into this issue I think I was more concerned about my rights as a parent than what was best for my children. What we need to do in law is think about the children’s needs.

I have spoken to four different solicitors about this issue and they have all said I am lucky to see my kids as much as I do.

I shouldn’t have to be lucky. But that is the system we have created and it isn’t right for children either.

I would put more emphasis on mediation. Children should not be used as weapons in the courts. They should come first even if Mum and Dad hate each other’s guts.”

Channel 4 Dispatches: Sharing Mum and Dad is on Channel 4 tonight at 8pm. You can follow Tim on Twitter: @timlovejoy