In the dark, damp back-streets of Vrindavan, more commonly known as the "city of widows", India's forgotten widows chant for their supper. For a few hours, their prayers earn them enough meagre rupees to survive. These women were once revered as mothers, sisters and daughters; some will die in Vrindavan without seeing any relatives again.

"She becomes a zero and all her powers are lost," says Mohini Giri, the former chair for the commission of women in India and a widow herself. She explains that many conservative Indian families see widows as a liability. Cast out of the family home, they live the rest of their lives in poverty and isolation. "When [a woman] loses her husband and becomes a widow, she loses her identity. A woman deprived, abandoned, malnourished will naturally have a high mortality rate."

For the more than 40 million widows in India – 10% of the country's female population – life is what some have described as "living sati", a reference to the now the prohibited practice of widow burning. Some are as young as 10 years old and are forced to spend the rest of their days in seclusion or earning a living through prostitution.

Only 28% of the widows in India are eligible for pensions, and of those, less than 11% actually receive their entitled payments. If a woman is not financially independent, she is at the mercy of her in-laws and her parents. And if they do not have the will or resources to take care of her and her children, she will be treated like an "untouchable". Financial aid is crucial to widows wanting to lead a self-sufficient life, but the government has failed to provide it.

Many of the 16,000 widows in Vrindavan have no choice but to beg in the streets. Traditionally, widows are only allowed one meal a day and renounce all earthly pleasures. However, Giri provides an alternative refuge and "ashram" for destitute widows in the state of West Bengal. "We break away from the traditional norms of widows being given one meal a day and not being allowed to have meat or certain foods such as garlic and onions."

Orthodox Hindus believe that both meat and certain vegetables have pulses that stimulate blood and are therefore impure. It is no wonder that deaths as a result of malnutrition are 85% higher among widows than married women, according to the Global Ministries Foundation. They are even expected to fast several times a month, sometimes eating nothing but fruit for days on end.

In the last 20 years, Giri has come to believe that "traditions are manmade and are prevalent in society due to its widespread acceptance in the social milieu … a patriarchal Brahaminical society has enforced wrong values in society towards widows". Nevertheless, trying to change the taboos surrounding remarriage and widows' conduct is only possible if the government enforces education to explain their harmful effects. The states of Andhra Pradesh and West Bengal have the highest percentage of widows in India, primarily because of objections to remarriage.

With a recent report conducted by the national commission of women stating that 74% of destitute widows live in West Bengal, there is a clear indication that implementing legislation has been unsuccessful. "Widowhood is not a priority within the government. It is only now that we are pushing the issue with the government, the planning commission and also at the United Nations."

However, the recent 33% quota for women at grassroots political level is a source of great strength for the advocacy of women's rights and enough to see a perceptible change. Giri has established many pioneering shelters for widows that aim to enhance their skills and make them more economically independent. But to make a difference in the longer term, traditional values will have to change.

The Loomba Trust, which aims to alleviate the plight of impoverished widows and their children, announced International Widows' Day in 2005 in an effort to make the UN recognise that an anniversary to mark the occasion could trigger the reform of national laws to eradicate prejudice against them. But anti-widow discrimination does not appear to be a priority.