Hello, if you want to avoid undertale spoilers, you should stop reading right now, because the rest of this post is going to be chock full of them.

Secondly, this is going to be a rant about Frisk and the canonicity of gender as regards Frisk, especially as it applies to Frisk supposedly being canonically non-binary. Since this is a rather touchy subject, I’ve attempted to approach it thoughtfully and with an open mind. I’d really appreciate it if you guys could try to do the same.

Lastly, please devote some time to reading this entire post before responding to it.

Okay, now, if you’re still listening put on your thinking cap because we’re going on a knowledge trip.

Before we begin, let me start by saying that I have nothing wrong with any headcanons people may have about Frisk’s gender or orientation. That’s a headcanon, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But that’s not why we’re here. We’re here because, lately, people have been insistent on calling Frisk canonically non-binary.

And that brings us to this post.

Let me start by saying that I’m not advocating non-binary erasure. Non-binary erasure is a terrible thing, and really needs to stop. However, there’s nothing TO erase in Frisk’s case. Frisk does not have a canonical gender identity.

“But everyone refers to Frisk using the pronoun ‘they’. Doesn’t that make them non-binary?” An excellent question! The short answer is no. The word “they” carries no denotation nor connotation of gender. Someone could be properly referred to as “they”, without further context, if they identify as boy, girl, non-binary, giraffe, attack helicopter, or anything else! And that’s totally fine! But it doesn’t tell us anything about their identity!

“But then why would the monsters refer to Frisk as 'they’? Surely that provides enough context to qualify the word as definitely non-binary, right?” Another excellent question! The most likely explanation is that they just didn’t know and were trying to be polite. I mean, they don’t even know Frisk’s name until the very end of the story, and that’s because their souls were absorbed by the one person who actually bothered to ask. If Frisk is that reserved with such a common piece of information as a name, it’s incredibly unlikely that they would ever bring up such a touchy subject as gender identity unless they were explicitly asked. Seeing as how most of the monsters are unfamiliar with humans, they probably wouldn’t be able to make an educated guess just based on the kid’s appearance either. The monsters’ line of reasoning probably goes like this, “I better call this child who really wants to be my friend 'they’ rather than pull a Professor Oak and weird them out.”

“But Frisk has to date both papyrus and alphys, doesn’t that mean something?” Okay first off, the alphys date is a joke. From start to finish, it’s meant as a humorous gag. Secondly, partner preference is not the same as self-identity. Thirdly, you don’t have to date Papyrus. You can choose to just hang out with him in an entirely platonic manner.

“Okay so if we’re ruling all this out, what CAN we say canonically about Frisk’s identity?” Yet another great question! Let’s start with the basics. They’re human, they’re a kid, they like flirting, they might have a thing for skeletons, they’re somewhat shy/reserved/private, they’re very determined, and they’re gifted with a heart of gold. That’s… about it really. I’m sure there’s other small pieces to the character, but they’re not integral to our understanding of them. I may write up an essay analyzing Frisk’s character in detail, but that’s something for another time.

“But this comic I read has th-” No. That’s a headcanon. Headcanons are great, but they are just that, interpretations of the canonical story exclusive to one’s own impression of the game. Remember, we’re talking solely about Frisk’s gender within the canon of the game, so anything outside doesn’t count. The only source of canon outside of the game is Toby Fox himself, but he has refused to comment on this issue. If you think Frisk is non-binary, by all means do so. But you’re just as entitled to think Frisk is a flirty young boy with a thing for skeletons. Both are equally valid interpretations.

That brings me to the whole reason I’m writing this thing. Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of interpretations and headcanons being presented as actual facts. I’ve even seen some people get attacked for “misgendering” Frisk. This is not okay! Stop! There is no one single headcanon that must be followed dogmatically. You can’t go around forcing people to conform to your wishes.

There are people out there who insist that Frisk is canonically non-binary and that anyone who says otherwise must be a bigot. These people are missing one of the most important themes of Undertale. Undertale is a game about a kid who overcomes thousands of years worth of animosity between two cultures, and in doing so, makes the world a better place. It sends a message that we should strive to respect others for who they are and to appreciate the differences that unite us under the shared banner of the human condition.

If you have any questions you feel I didn’t address or if you want to provide some feedback, feel free to shoot me an ask. However, I’d like to add that while any feedback is strongly appreciated, be it positive or negative, please do try to keep it civil. This is by no means meant to discourage harsh criticism. It’s fine to call me out on logical fallacies, stylistic errors, or anything else for that matter. In fact, I encourage it. After all feedback is the only way to improve. As long as your criticism is about the work, and not about me personally, it’s fine by me.