Aspen’s dogs are getting high AF eating the poop of humans who smoke hella weed

They're gobbling up nature's pot-brownies

Vices By Will Brendza

If your dog takes a dukie when you’re out on a walk and you don’t pick up, you’re a jerk. But if you take a poop while you’re out walking, don’t pick up after yourself and then someone else’s dog comes and eats your fecal deposit and gets stoned off its ass because you smoke so much pot, then, well… that’s just fucked up on a lot of different levels.

But, it’s exactly what’s happening around Aspen. Apparently, it’s become all-too-common for the vets of that beautiful little town, to see dogs in their clinic that are baked beyond reason.

And more often than not, the dog owners seem just as confused as their pooches when they bring them in.

“Seventy to eighty percent of people say they have no idea where their dogs got [cannabis], but they say they were out on a trail or camping,” Dr. Scott Dolginow, who owns Emergency Pet Care in Basalt, told the Aspen Times. “I can’t believe that the owners are lying.”

So where, then, are these dogs getting their weed from?

According to Dolginow, probably from poop. Human poop, that is. And, more specifically, the poop of humans who smoke hella dank.

“It’s unlikely that many people toss an edible or a roach on the side of the trail,” Dolginow said. “It also makes sense from the level of toxicity we see.”

Is there really that much human feces laying around the trails of Aspen, though? One might wonder. Isn’t that supposed to be a picturesque Rocky Mountain ski town, covered in vacation chateaus and ungodly amounts of wealth and glamour?

Yes, it is. But it’s also covered in a lot of human poop. Places like Conundrum Hot Springs and trails like the Three Pass Loop are such popular destinations for backpackers, hikers and other outdoor enthusiasts, that feces becomes a real problem. There are no toilets or outhouses in much of the backcountry, and many people don’t like the idea of “packing-out” (AKA, carrying their own waste with them as they hike and properly disposing of it when they finally get to a trash can).

So, those people poop in the woods, just like our ancestors and like their ancestors before them. And not all dig holes to bury their treasure.

The result? A lot of human feces, everywhere. And dogs eating it. And when you have as many pot-loving hikers in this state as we have, with legal access to as much cannabis as they want, apparently some of those backcountry-bombs are actually potent pot-brownies.

Potent enough, at least, to make dogs like Marty, a healthy 2-year-old cattle dog mix start throwing up, stumbling, staggering and pissing uncontrollably.

“He was crashed out; I had to carry him to the vet,” said Rebecca Cole, Marty’s human. “I literally walked in the door and they said he was high. … I couldn’t believe it because I don’t have anything in my house.”

But Dolginow knew what was up. As soon as Cole and Marty came through his door, he knew he’d seen it before. This dog had found some stoner’s poop, eaten it and was now tripping out. Marty would be fine, he just had to ride out the storm and come down.

In more severe cases Doglinow says that dogs are either treated with an IV fluid or sedated.

The thing is, THC is really bad for dogs. They are extremely sensitive to the molecule and it affects them exponentially more than it affects humans. Pups who find a high-potency edible in their human’s stash and eat it, get fucked up. It’s scary. The dog’s eyes roll back in its head, their tongue lolls from their mouth, they can hardly sit up straight, let alone stand and the effects can last for a long time. Hours.

CBD, on the other hand, can be really good for dogs. It’s the psychoactive aspect of the cannabis compound that screws with a dog’s head, and makes them ill. Which is why CBD is becoming more and more popular among pet owners, to treat their doggo’s epilepsy or osteoarthritis.

If only Aspen’s dogs were eating pure CBD turds, there wouldn’t be such an epidemic. But alas, that’s not the case. As long as people are saturating their bloodstreams with cannabis and shitting in the woods, dogs will be at risk of getting TCH poisoning from poop.