The fourth season of Game of Thrones premiered this weekend. If you were one of three people on this earth who missed it – you should feel many things right now: despair, uncertainty and the lingering question of “What the fuck am I doing with my life?”

The episode was a pretty solid premiere and we were introduced to a few new characters such as Oberyn Martell and Ellaria Sand.

What makes Oberyn so interesting isn’t his choice of sexual partners but his unpredictability. He clearly has a chip on his shoulder, thus making me an instant fan when he wrecked two Lannister soldiers like a boss without losing an ounce of charm. He then has a discussion with Tyrion and promises that the Lannisters aren’t the only ones who pay their debts and it looks like a new battle is forming right under King Joffrey’s roof. I personally find any character that has the balls to demonstrate such a clear disdain towards the Lannisters– out loud–in King’s Fucking Landing–to be a badass.

Daenerys is still doing boss things. She has her dragons, the Unsullied, her Khalasar and more followers than she can feed. Daario has a new face and doesn’t look like the lovechild of two horses. He clearly has a thing for Daenerys and while she plays coy, it’s obvious she wants the D. I would say his chances of lying with the Mother of Dragons are far better than Ser Jorah Mormont’s. He also manages to flirt with Dany while teaching her about the land she plans to conquer next. So, ten points for Daario because he has game.

I have to be honest when I say that I never foresaw the dragons becoming a problem for Dany. Not once did it cross my mind that these motherfuckers would be wild and completely out of control by the time they reached their full size (if they are still growing then God help us all). However, as Dany watches her children fight over their prey, she tries to intervene and is met with a furious BITCH DO NOT INTERRUPT ME WHILE I’M EATING response by Drogon (the eldest and darkest dragon). At this point she should have slowly stepped away from the dragon and then proceed to run for her life. It also doesn’t help when Ser Jorah comes up and says “Dragons can never be tamed, Khalessi. Not even by their mother.” Oh really!?? Because I’m sure she realized that the moment one of them tried to eat her fucking face. Go home, Jorah. You’re drunk.

The end of the episode focused on Arya’s attempt to reclaim Needle. There isn’t much I can say except she’s the best character on the show. I’ll let this GIF demonstrate: