Last blog I received a comment wondering what is “an I-M thing”? So glad you asked!

The I-M Approach is my premise that we are always doing the best we can at every moment in time with the potential to change in the very next second to another I-M. The definition of an I-M is a current maximum potential. And I am suggesting that all of us are always at an I-M: this is who I am.

Many people see themselves through a lens of “What is wrong with me?” feeling broken and unsure of one’s value in the world. But I believe each of us is reacting and responding the best we can to the influence of the world around us, and the world within us- and that is the crux of The I-M approach.

The Four Domains of the I-M Approach

Source: Joseph Shrand The I-M Approach

Who we are is influenced by four domains as illustrated in this picture:

The Ic Domain

The Ic Domain, pronounced “I see”, is the first internal domain. The Ic Domain explores how you see yourself and, perhaps more importantly, how you think other people see you. Together they create the Ic: your current concept of yourself. Human beings are interested in what other people think or feel. We call this . “How ya feelin’?” we ask. But what we are really interested in is “What are you thinking or feeling about me?” This is not just empathy but something more. We assess our self through the eyes of others. The result of this assessment is embodied in the Ic domain.

Our Ic Domain is based on our human ability to appreciate another person’s point of view. In scientific circles this goes by the rather clunky and inelegant term “Theory of Mind”, words chosen to describe the amazing human ability to ‘theorize” what someone else is thinking or feeling, and being able to take someone else’s perspective. It is a conjecture, a speculation about another person’s perspective.

I see the influence of the Ic Domain all the time, especially in my work as a child psychiatrist. Kids who have been bullied and begin to believe they are worthless can lead them to feel and even . Think back to your days in school. Was there a time when you knew the answer to a question but were afraid to raise your hand in class? Stopping you was the worry that both the teachers and other kids might think you were stupid.

All I am trying to do in my work is to remind a person of their value. So many people think that other see them with less value, or no value. I think this has manifested in the election of November 8th: a large group of people felt they had been disrespected, devalued, and lost trust as a result.

The Biological Domain

All of us are influenced by the biological domain. If you have ever twisted your ankle in a way that ankles are not designed to twist your biological domain responds the best it can. The muscle cells in your ankle respond to the change in their environment: some tore while others may have cramped and constricted. To protect the bone and muscle, surrounding tissue probably swelled with water, creating a cushion designed to minimize further damage. But the swelling of that tissue placed a new pressure on the nerves of your ankle, causing pain and warning your brain that you had been injured. But were any of those cells responding in a way that wasn’t the best they could given the fact that you had landed awkwardly on your ankle?

When you sprain your ankle and are limping it changes someone else’s perspective of you, which may change your perspective of yourself. See how fluidly the domains influences each other? You know it feels differently when someone says you are amazing than when they say you are worthless. Our biological domain is always, always changing, but always at an I-M.

The Home Domain

The first two internal domains of Biology and Ic are influenced by the third and fourth domains, the Home domain and the Social domain. These two domains are outside our bodies and refer to the attachments and relationships we make in the world.

I don’t think anyone is going to argue with me that the Home domain, that foundation where many of our ideas, habits, and beliefs are formed has an influence on our I-M even in our adult lives.

The Social Domain

The things that happen at home influence the choices we make in the Social domain, or the rest of the world in which we live. The Social domain is everything other than the Home domain. It’s being at work, at school, at a restaurant, walking down the street. Everywhere other than at home.

The Two Principles of The I-M Approach

1) Small changes can have big effects.Because the four domains are interconnected a small change in any one domain can have a ripple effects through the entire system.

2) You control no one but influence everyone. Everyone has an I-M and is interested in what you think or feel about them and you are part of someone's home or social domain. You get to choose the kind of influence you want to be.

The I-M is based on the foundation of respect. When we can learn to respect others (and they us), it leads to value, that critical core desire we have evolved. Value leads to trust, and trust is the force of that can connect us all.

Next blog I will pull the domains all together with a simple example.

It’s an I-M thing.