I remember the thrill when I signed that first set of stock option grants. I was looking around the room thinking, “these are the people I’m going to do something really cool with.” Promise is in the air. We’re all in this together. We’re going to build something. Something difficult, against the odds. Something with substance. I was excited and ready for the hard work, which I got. Here’s a scenario: Fast forward, the company’s out of time and money. The fire sale’s on. People are jumping ship. And those options? Well, they’re way under water.

Has it happened to you? It’s happened to me. More than once.

When stock options no longer live up to their name: “Incentive Stock Option Grants”, and motivation is waning, it starts to feel like working at a startup is like rolling the dice. Signing those ISO docs starts to feel like a sham transaction. And here’s the problem: When we go into it assuming the stock options won’t be worth anything, it changes the culture. There’s no “promise is in the air.” It’s a joke. The mystique is gone.

Maybe it’s time to go work for EnormoCo writing java.

Or, maybe it’s time to fix something that’s broken in this startup culture.

It’s called negotiation. Chances are, negotiating isn’t your favorite activity. But the negotiations happen whether you like it or not. And we’ve all heard by now that the folks who engage in the negotiation process inevitably wind up in a better position. This is true for the salary and benefits negotiation when you start a job, but it’s also true when your job’s coming to an end.

If you make it to a liquidity event you’re in a negotiation. It’s up to you whether you engage in it or not…or even if you recognize it as a negotiation. If you’re lucky enough to have been part of a meteoric success, congratulations, but I’m not really talking to you.

So what happens when a startup produces something of value, but runs out of cash? It’s time for a fire sale. Chances are, the company is sold far a price that protects the founders and investors, but leaves your lowly options underwater. Next, you’re informed that your stock options aren’t valuable because of dilution or company valuation. Here’s where you grab the horns in this negotiation. Remember, those stock option grants were a signal of intent when you started the job. And remember your contributions. Be articulate about the business value you built for the company. And you did create value because the business has just been sold, right?

I know it’s not fun, but the negotiation is pretty simple. It consists of you reminding the founders of your contributions and their intent to compensate you for those contributions. You can even suggest that the options weren’t properly valued when issued.

Yes, you can say this. And yes, they can change the valuation of your grants to honor the intent behind those stock option grants. Hopefully, your founders will agree and work the process so that you do get some reward for your risk. But the really important thing is that you just got better at negotiating. You took a stand.