These aren’t all my experiences, but they’re all pretty common experiences, especially for women, I think. Don’t be selfish, don’t be selfish. Always put others first. Don’t ask for things. Take care of your siblings, take care of your children, take care of your parents. There’s no time for caretaker burnout because everyone depends on you. You never get to be the selfish one.

But that’s exactly what you have to allow yourself to be, or so I’m told.