The Strangest Viagra Alternatives of All Time

In the years before the introduction of oral erectile dysfunction medications, men went to great lengths to preserve erectile function and protect their virility. Here are just a few of the more bizarre strategies they have employed to achieve those goals.

Down through the ages, men have tried all manner of remedies to recapture their ability to get and keep an erection — a process that for many is the very essence of masculinity. Its importance to men helps to explain some of the outlandish methods they’ve used to get things working properly down there.

Dried Seal Penis

When it comes to off-the-wall treatments for erectile dysfunction, it would be hard — but not impossible — to top the ingestion of the dried penis of the Cape fur seal, a remedy favored by Asian practitioners. Alternatively, the penis is liquefied along with the seal’s testicles to produce a potion marketed as Dalishen Oral Liquid, said to produce robust erections in men who regularly drink the liquid.

Roasted Wolf Penis

Akin to the seal penis remedy is one touted by Albertus Magnus, a 13th century German Dominican friar who was canonized as a saint by Pope Pius XI in December 1931. Magnus promoted the use of wolf penis as a treatment for impotence. Specifically, Magnus urged that the wolf’s member be roasted in the oven and then cut into small, bite-size pieces to be chewed whenever men felt the need for extra sexual stimulation.

Dried Starfish

Wolf penis wasn’t Magnus’s only animal-based remedy for erectile dysfunction. He also praised the benefits of dried starfish as an aphrodisiac but cautioned that it be used sparingly. Too much starfish at one time, said the friar, might cause a man to ejaculate blood.

Bull Semen Injections

To facilitate the erections he needed to pursue his love affair with Eva Braun, Nazi German fuhrer Adolf Hitler is said to have favored penile injections of a potion compounded from a blend of testosterone with the semen and prostate glands of young bulls.

Papaverine Injections

Not all injection therapies are as off the wall as Hitler’s concoction of bull semen and prostate glands. In fact, some have been shown to be quite effective, at least for men who aren’t turned off at the very thought of plunging a needle into their penis. In a memorably unorthodox lecture at the 1983 convention of the American Urological Association, British physiologist Giles Brindley graphically demonstrated the effects of an injection of papaverine on an otherwise uncooperative penis. Prior to his time at the lectern, Brindley had injected his penis with papaverine, giving the compound sufficient time to work its magic. At a dramatic point in his presentation on the wonders of papervine, an opium alkaloid medication known to dilate blood vessels, Brindley dropped trou to show the audience the drug’s dramatic effects on his penis. He encouraged members of the audience who had their doubts to inspect his penis carefully to see how fully engorged it had become.

Alprostadil Injections

In much the same vein and still used by many today, alprostadil is another medication that effectively dilates the blood vessels supplying the penis, thus facilitating the erectile process. In its injectable form, this prescription drug is injected directly into one of the penis’s two columns of spongy erectile tissue known as the corpora cavernosa. Erections usually develop within 5 to 10 minutes after injection and last only about 30 minutes, so make sure your partner is ready before injecting.

Alprostadil Suppository

The ability of alprostadil to optimize blood flow to the penis, thus making it easier to achieve an erection, can also be utilized in suppository form, offering an attractive alternative for the faint of heart. Alprostadil suppositories are designed to be introduced into the urethra at the tip of the penis. As with its injectable form, alprostadil in suppository form takes 5 to 10 minutes to begin working, and the resulting erection rarely lasts more than 30 minutes.

Urethral Strictures

Among the many causes theorized for erectile dysfunction, one of the most popular of the 19th century held that the inability to get it up was caused by too much masturbation. To discourage this excess of self-love and hopefully restore some semblance of erectile function, some sadistic quack of the period came up with the idea of inserting curved rods called urethral strictures through the urethra’s opening at the tip of the penis. Once the rod was inserted, a bulb at its external end would be squeezed, sending a stream of nitric acid into the bladder. This so-called cure proved not only dangerous and painful but also totally ineffective.

Spanish Fly

Although almost everyone has heard of this one, it’s a fairly sure bet that few have tried it. Spanish fly is a chemical compound called cantharidin that is extracted not from a fly but from an emerald-green beetle that is native to southern Europe. When cantharidin is ingested, it produces a sensation of irritation once it reaches the urinary tract. That sensation of irritation has been known to produce erections among some users of Spanish fly. However, the substance has other side effects that might be considered counterproductive to great romance. These other side effects include feelings of apprehension and agitation. In use for centuries — sometimes as a poison — cantharidin is extremely powerful and dangerous.

Burning Witches

Admittedly this one is probably ill-suited to our more civilized ways in the early 21st century, but in medieval Germany it was widely believed that witches routinely cast spells on the penises of newlywed males. These unfortunate grooms were then unable to consummate their marriages, thus sowing “disharmony in God’s Holy Union,” according to an article at mentalfloss.com. Witches who were found responsible for casting such spells ran the risk of being burned at the stake as late as the early 18th century.

Urine Therapy

Still in use among some practitioners of traditional Chinese and Indian medicine, urine therapy is yet another popular treatment for erectile dysfunction. Traditional healers maintain that drinking large quantities of one’s own urine can restore the virility that has apparently been lost. While it’s true that urine contains trace amounts of the male hormone testosterone, the amounts of the sex hormone are so small that they can’t really accomplish anything. As an alternative to drinking the urine, some advocates of this therapy spray their pee onto their genitals and then massage it in with their hands.

If none of these alternatives to modern medicine appeals to you, it’s probably a good idea to check out the latest impotence medications the market has to offer. Looking for a reliable online supplier of these drugs? Ordering from longtime online facilitator eDrugstore.com can often save you both time and money. And eDrugstore sells a full range of ED medications, including both brand-name and generic products. To learn more, visit eDrugstore’s Erectile Dysfunction page.

Don Amerman is a freelance author who writes extensively about a wide array of nutrition and health-related topics.