Breaking Dolan: A Dolan/Bella Love Story

Chapter 1

Bella was sitting in her art class, crying as she listened to "Daddy" by Korn off of their first album because all of Korn's other music is shit. Around the 10th minute of the song, she noticed that her running mascara matched the pattern of her fishnet gloves so she pulled out her iPhone and took a picture of herself with one hand covering one of her eyes like Lady GaGa in her PokerFace music video even though Lady GaGa is commercial pop shit. She edited the picture in instagram and turned the saturation all the way up to reflect the empty whiteness of her soul. She was crying because her ex-boyfriend, Edward, an ugly poser gothic bitch, just broke up with her after returning from Italy. He told me that her soul wasn't dark enough to be a vampire with him, so he and his family went back to Italy and left me in Forks. Because of this, my soul has shown me its lack of light, and all of my joy has left this world.

The period ended with the sad sounding bells and she shuffled out of the door. She didn't want to stain her new Gerard Way shirt so she didn't wipe her tears out of her eyes and just kept crying. The song was over and the next song was Jolene by Dolly Parton (don't hate.) She looked up and there he was; a short clump of sexmeat. He was wearing a kinky sailor hat and sexy hipster button up collared shirt that gave Bella a ladyboner. Hipsters and emos can be together. Stop flaming.

"Hi Dolan..." she said nervously, twirling her hair seductively. The short duck looked up at Bella and quacked in her direction.

"Blella pls." He then pulled out a badass switchblade and shanked Bella in the leg. He scurried off, and although she was bleeding, she couldn't help staring at that sexy duck's ass. She was used to bleeding anyways, like hopes pouring out of her soul. It was soothing. The blood stained her favorite pair of neon green skinny jeans that she bought at Hot Topic so she had to change her outfit. She went to her clothes locker that she for from her other friend who didn't need it anymore because she killed herself.

"Oh shitfuck" Bella dramatically gasped. All she had was a Linkin Park tee which she wouldn't wear because they were sellouts. She grabbed some black emo pants with giant chains on them, a pair of black widow earrings, a gold necklace with a pistol on it as a pendant to show that people shouldn't fuck with her, and a pair of neon purple converse with vampires painted on them because she was still kind of in love with Edward. She would have to go to the lost and found for a new shirt, though. When she got there, there was only a One Direction tee. One Direction sucks huge gargantuan penis even though Liam is a fucking sex demigod. She was so upset at having to look like a poser that she just changed right there in the hallway because she didn't give a fuck.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU CAN'T BE NAKED IN THE HALLWAY!" Mr. Greene yelled enthusiastically. Bella gave him the finger and he ran away out of fear. She finished changing, but didn't want to look like a 12-year-old One Direction fangirl, so she slit her wrists and used the blood to black out the groups' faces.

The bell rang, signaling the end beginning of her next class.

"God fucking dammit" she growled. Her lesbian whore gym teacher was going to be pissed. She ran into the changing room and tore off her clothes. Before she could change into her gym clothes though, she heard this... weird chortling coming from behind her. She turned around and saw... Gooby!

"What the fuck! Why are you in the girl's room Gooby?"

"R u biegn srs Blella?" the dog barked. "Dis iss byo's rom. R u lsot?"

Bella stood there, shocked and embarrassed, not knowing what to do next. Suddenly, Gooby's hat was transferred to Bella's head. It didn't make sense, but it was magical. The dog stood there, staring into Bella's eyed.

"I tel u wat Blella,u go on date wif ne an I don tel erybodi dat u wer nakd in byo's rom."

Bella blushed, and even though her heart was still in pieces after Dolan's rejection, she felt fat that day and said yes to Gooby's proposal.

"Takns btch." The dog said, and shuffled out.

Bella changed into her gym clothes and walked into gym class.

"WHERE WERE YOU YOU ARE 10 MINUTES LATE TO CLASS HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?" Bella's gym teacher belted at her. Bella gave her the finger and her teacher started crying and cutting herself. Between sobs, she said "You're so mean... please be nice." Bella scoffed. She didn't want to deal with this.

"Just start the class bitch." The class was jealous of her nobility and bravery. Everyone wanted to be her.

Today... we're playing dodge ball..." her teacher said in between sobs. Perfect, Bella thought. She was terrible at dodge ball, which is a good thing because that meant people would pelt their balls at her and she could show everyone the pain of her soul. She stood there, crying delicately while taking the bruises of the beating balls. The bell rang, signifying the end of school. She beat up the preps so she could get into the changing room first. Before she could go in though, she Gooby's stare from the other end of the hallway. They kept it for a while, and she noticed that somehow the hat had been transferred back to Gooby's head. The preps eventually showed up though and they had to break their gaze. She couldn't say that she wasn't looking forward to their date, even if it was only to make Dolan jealous. She changed quickly, back into her chained pants, vampire shoes, and bloody One Direction tee. She put her black widow earrings in and was on her way home when she heard a familiar quacking coming from behind her. It was Dolan! Bella didn't know how to feel about this. What she felt was an inexplicable mixture of happiness and sorrow. It was really deep and made her cry.

"U frogt nklace n lokcer." The duck held up Bella's gun pendant that showed that she couldn't be fucked with.

"OMFG THANK YOU DOLAN!" She was so happy that the duck loved her this deeply to do this favor for her. She leaned over to grab the chain from the short duck, and as she was about to take it from his hand, he pulled it back and with his other hand, hidden behind his back, he produced a damp white cloth.

"Acualy iz clorfrom." the duck said, and shoved the cloth into Bella's face. She was confused and slightly turned on, then her world went dark.