Welp, it’s that time of year again. The Los Angeles Dodgers have won their division for a seventh consecutive season, earning them a playoff berth as the National League’s top seed. With 106 regular season wins, this is officially the winningest campaign in the franchise’s 136 years of existence. Most fans would say it’s all for naught if they fall short of a World Series championship, and, well, they are 100% correct. I know, I know, winning 106 games is literally unprecedented for one of baseball’s most historic franchises and an incredible accomplishment in its own right, but as the back-to-back recipients of the World Series Participant™ award, expectations are championship-or-bust. It is what it is.

Given that the Dodgers have fallen short of the title for 31 years and counting, I figured I would try my hand at putting together our playoff roster. Hopefully this post makes its way to Mr. Friedman, as these are all 100% factually the right choices, and if this exact roster loses, I will simply edit this post.

*Disclaimer: I am aware that the roster can change after each round is over, but for simplicity’s sake, I will just be making one general playoff roster.

INFIELDERS:

Max Muncy (1B/2B)

Justin Turner (3B)

Corey Seager (SS)

Gavin Lux (2B)

David Freese (1B/3B)

This one’s a bit of a no-brainer, and I would be shocked if the actual roster was any different from this. If healthy (and all indications are showing that they are at least healthy enough), Muncy, Turner, Seager, and Freese are total locks. Gavin Lux has been granted the vast majority of plate appearances since he was called up and has played an excellent 2B, so expect him to get the lion’s share of the ABs in the postseason. Expect him to start on the bench against a lefty starter, though, with Muncy shifting over to 2B and Freese getting the start at 1B (139 wRC+ vs. lefties).

OUTFIELDERS:

Cody Bellinger (CF/RF)

Joc Pederson (LF/RF)

A.J. Pollock (LF/CF)

No surprises here, either. Cody put together arguably the best season for a Dodger since Adrian Beltré’s stupid ridiculous ’04 and is the likely MVP. Expect him to bolster this lineup and pray he improves upon his thus far miserable postseason performance (career postseason OPS of .562 — yuck). Joc’s put together his best season yet with 36 dongs and has been absolute money in the second half (.905 OPS, 132 wRC+), but he won’t (and shouldn’t) face lefties. Pollock has bounced back from a miserable first half and has proven to be a productive bat (.884 OPS in the second half), though his poor defense in center will likely force Bellinger to play the position.

INFIELDERS/OUTFIELDERS:

Chris Taylor

Kiké Hernandez

Matt Beaty

Chris Taylor and Kiké are total locks. Taylor continues to make the Mariners look stupid, and though he’s again fallen short of his stellar 2017 campaign where he anchored the top of the Dodgers’ lineup, he’s been productive offensively and defensively and hits lefties extremely well (120 wRC+). Kiké’s had an unspectacular, if not slightly disappointing, season, but his defensive versatility and occasional pop will undoubtedly earn him a roster spot. The final utility spot came down to Matt Beaty and Edwin Ríos. Ríos has produced admirably in his limited playing time, but Beaty’s greater sample size of quality production and very low strikeout rate earn him the nod here. He’s the type of guy you like to call off the bench to put a ball in play with a runner or two in scoring position. If Verdugo were healthy, Beaty wouldn’t crack the roster.

CATCHERS:

Will Smith

Russell Martin

Shouldn’t be any surprises here. The Fresh Prince of LA had a huge start to the season and then cooled down, but has shown flashes of breaking out of the slump. Russell Martin gives us Veteran Presents™ and is an excellent backup option. Plus, the only real alternative is Austin Barnes. I like you, Austin, but man…

STARTING PITCHERS:

Clayton Kershaw

Hyun-jin Ryu

Walker Buehler

The Dodgers are spoiled with these three. Each of these guys is excellent and has a legitimate chance to throw 7 shutout each time they take the mound. Buehler has dominant, in-your-face type stuff, while Kershaw and Ryu are more finesse guys at this point. If these guys perform up to the standards they’ve shown throughout the regular season, the Dodgers will be a tough out, period. The only other staff in the NL that comes close is Washington, who may be the Dodgers’ NLDS opponent.

BULLPEN:

Kenley Jansen

Joe Kelly

Pedro Bàez

Kenta Maeda

Julio Urías

Adam Kolarek

Dustin May

Rich Hill

Ross Stripling

The top 6 are total locks. Say what you will about Kenley, but the Dodgers don’t really have any other options. Whether he comes out for the 9th doesn’t really matter, either – what we know for sure is that he’ll be out there pitching in the playoffs. Kelly, Bàez, Maeda, and Urías will all be used in high leverage situations, though Maeda will likely be used almost exclusively against righties (an incredible .535 OPS against and 33.3% (!!) K%). Kolarek will be used exclusively against lefties in high leverage situations, where he’s been excellent since the Dodgers acquired him at the deadline (.599 OPS against). Dustin May has forced his way into the playoff bullpen with downright overpowering stuff leading to 8 consecutive scoreless appearances (10 IP, 14K/1BB). Hill has had a couple of promising outings since his return from injury, and his handedness is a huge plus. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see him start Game 4 and go three or four innings. I also think the front office would be too afraid to tell him he’s not on the roster. Stripling’s inclusion over Gonsolin is surely controversial to some, but Gonsolin hasn’t been very sharp lately and his extremely high BB/9 (3.38, and 4.57 in AAA in a similar sample size) really scares me in a playoff bullpen.

Well, that just about does it. That leaves the roster at 13 position players and 12 pitchers. It’s a roster that’s loaded with talent and playoff experience, and who knows, maybe this is the one that finally brings a World Series trophy back to Los Angeles. Or maybe they get swept in the first round. Either way, I’ll be watching. And drinking. And drinking. And drinking.

Go Dodgers. Every damn day, you pink fucks.