You might not see me for a while. I've just been arrested, on the most serious of possible charges. They are: "deportation or forcible transfer of population", "imprisonment or other severe deprivation of physical liberty in violation of fundamental rules of international law", and "enforced sterilisation".

I've always been pretty good at managing my time, and I've succeeded in fitting these in between writing books and articles, childcare and campaigning. Or so I've discovered from a new website, promoted by The Ecologist magazine, called Arrest Monbiot.

It's not a joke; they really mean it. And, if you're interested, they're offering real money as a bounty.

The website, set up by a group (or person?) called Radiation Free Lakeland, explains that by arguing in favour of nuclear power, I have "knowingly and systematically violated" the Rome statute of the international criminal court and have been deporting, imprisoning and sterilising the world's people. Some of the rules for performing a peaceful citizen's arrest on me bear an uncanny similarity to the rules for apprehending Tony Blair on the Arrest Blair site I set up. Arguing against abandoning our primary source of low-carbon energy during a climate change emergency is, it seems, directly comparable to launching an illegal war in which hundreds of thousands died.

There is one crucial difference. While Arrest Blair invites public donations, then pays out a quarter of whatever's in the pot to successful claimants, all of whom so far have received over £2,000, ArrestMonbiot offers only £100 for an attempt to bring me to justice. £100! Don't they know who I am? Insulted hardly begins to describe it. I merit a price on my head of at least, oh I don't know, £120.

But thinking it over, I realised that for £100 I could buy a white cat to stroke, or another shark for my pool. Moreover, there's no limit to the number of potential bounty payments: the founders of the site appear to have agreed to keep shelling out – from their own pockets – however many times I'm nabbed.

So, at 0724, this morning, I duly arrested myself. As the website advised, I took myself by the shoulder and explained that this is a citizen's arrest for "nuclear crimes against humanity" and invited myself to accompany me to the nearest police station to answer the charge (I declined for the time being, as I'm a bit busy, but I might turn myself in later). I have now applied to Arrest Monbiot for £100.

If anyone else wants a go, I will come quietly for 50%.

I will use the money, if they agree to send it to me, to help finance research into the development of integral fast reactors, which could (an estimate endorsed by a government chief scientist suggests) transform our nuclear waste pile into enough energy to power the UK for 500 years, without carbon emissions, thus solving three problems (nuclear waste, our future energy supply, and most of our contribution to global warming), all at once.

It all makes perfect sense. But now a terrible thought strikes me. What if I end up sharing a cell with Tony Blair?

www.monbiot.com