You'll recognize Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird, the Christian YouTubers behind Girl Defined, from their viral video How to Wear Makeup in a God Honoring Way. It was roasted into oblivion as a pointless, clueless look into Christian makeup that left viewers saying: "I had to watch like six episodes of Drag Race to cleanse myself of this straight white nonsense."

Kristen and Bethany say they are a guide for "God-defined girls in a culture-defined world" appear just like any other YouTubers – sparkly, smiley hairdos posting tedious clips for their millions of fans. But who are they really? Babe spent hours watching their horrid videos and reading their vile posts for a deep dive into what other things you can do in a God Honoring Way.

We watched them smile their way through videos like Why Christian Girls Should be Beautiful but Not Seductive, How Christian Girls Can Do Prom in a Pure and Modest Way and Should Christian Girls Date Non-Christian Guys? And we can conclude that Kristen and Bethany are flaming hot garbage.

Let's start with their website, Girl Defined. It's the source of extreme right-wing views that wouldn't look too out of place on a Neo-Nazi forum. One post written by Bethany discusses how much she dislikes gays and Muslims.

"I’ll be totally honest with you," she writes. "In the past (and still at times) I’ve struggled to view lost people with compassion and love. When I hear the words 'homosexual,' 'prostitute' or even the word 'muslim' I cringe inside. In my sinful pride I wonder how those people could choose that lifestyle or religion. I think to myself, 'Don’t they know how wrong that is?' 'Don’t they understand how unfulfilling that is?'"

Kristen, in another post, describes how the Gay Pride movement has a "sneaky agenda" out to get you. "The issue I have with homosexuals is not the actual person but their habitually sinful lifestyle that is in direct rebellion against God," she says.

In another post by Kristen, she denounces "the homosexual lifestyle" as evil. "This might come as a shock to some Christians, but the Bible does not support, value, uphold or accept the homosexual lifestyle in any way. You can’t find a single verse in the Bible that praises, encourages, or accepts that lifestyle as natural or good."

And both women really, really do not like trans people. Their video Is Gender a Personal Choice? rails against gender identity. "God created a male and a female," they say. "Two distinct genders, two equally valuable purposefully different genders but they were very distinct. It was a man and it was a woman. And when we go back, we realize this topic of gender isn’t really that confusing."

The topic of trans people appears in post after post, interminably hammering their point of view that "our nation is headed towards disaster" because of modern views on gender. In one of her many articles on the subject article, Kristen writes:

"If we’re our own authority, who has the right to draw any lines in the sand? If a woman wants to marry a cat, why can’t she? If a man wants to marry six other men at the same time, why can’t he? If a 50 year old man wants to marry a 7 year old girl, why can’t he?

"But what if he wants to get surgery to take on the form of a gorilla? Or maybe a dog? Why can’t he? What if a person despises being male or female, and 'invents' a new gender? Would that be okay? What if a 60 year old woman decides she is actually a 10 year old little boy in her personal reality? Can she be true to herself? Would surgery be okay? Why wouldn’t it be?"

OK.

One hilarious post by Kristen goes into detail about masturbation, which she calls a dangerous "mind toxin." She writes: "I wholeheartedly believe that masturbation is wrong for Christian girls. In fact, I don’t believe it’s right for anyone."

With that, I'm going to go jack off.

@hshukman