I should not have been surprised to see the thousands-strong crowd at Princes Park on Monday night, gathered to mourn Eurydice Dixon.

The genuine outpouring of grief makes sense when we consider how many people are affected by violence against women.

As a child I felt that my family's experience of intimate partner violence was normal. I can vividly recall the time my father struck my mother with such force that she ricocheted off a cupboard and lost consciousness. Yet we were like every other family, I thought.

In a perverse way, that childhood impression is true. Violence against women is common.

One in three Australian women has experienced physical violence. One in five has experienced sexual violence. In fact, intimate partner violence contributes more to the disease burden for women aged 18 to 44 than any other well-known risk factor such as tobacco or cholesterol.

And yet, some of the responses to recent deaths such as Eurydice Dixon and Qi Yu have been hostile.

NSW Police have charged a 19-year-old man with the murder of Qi Yu. ( Supplied: NSW Police )

But not all men are violent, right?

Some people — mostly men — have protested that not all men are dangerous, suggesting that men are being stereotyped because of a few violent men.

This response is abbreviated as "not all men". This perspective is mistaken.

The "not all men" rhetoric does nothing to address the underlying conditions which lead to violence against women. Quite the opposite: it distracts from meaningful discussions about solutions.

Of course it is true that not all men are violent. But the fact is that too many men do not challenge the norms and behaviours which perpetuate violence.

My response is simply #YesAllMen. Men must accept that violence against women is a men's issue.

The fact is that men are overwhelmingly the perpetrators of violence against women, children and other men. Around 95 per cent of all survivors of violence report experiencing threats or physical and sexual assault from a male perpetrator.

A vigil was held in Adelaide for Eurydice Dixon. ( ABC News: Claire Campbell )

'Innocent' attitudes enable violence

Our culture enables violence against women, and all men have a role to play in fixing it. The background conditions which allow violence against women to occur are grounded in gender inequality.

Research has demonstrated that people who generally believe that men and women have distinct characteristics are more likely to condone, tolerate or excuse violence against women. Similarly, men who hold traditional and hierarchical views about gender are more likely to perpetrate violence.

With this in mind, consider that one in five Australians think that men should take control in relationships and be the head of the household, and more than one in four Australians think women prefer a man to be in charge.

What's more, one in five Australians believe that domestic violence is a private matter to be handled by family. A similar amount believe that a woman is "partly responsible" if she is raped while intoxicated. These widely held beliefs create the conditions necessary for violence and they must be confronted.

I have heard men voice ardently held opinions about women's biological predisposition toward certain roles. I have heard men make juvenile quips about women belonging in the kitchen. Of course, this is not special to my experience: these are common attitudes which manifest regularly in our everyday lives and our national discourse.

Sorry, this video has expired Thousands attend vigil for Eurydice Dixon

All men can prevent harm

Men are specially placed to challenge these attitudes because of the influence of peer relations.

However, many men do not challenge the norms that lead to violence. One in three respondents to the More Than Ready survey in Victoria reported witnessing sexism or discrimination in the previous 12 months. Less than half took action. The main obstacle to action was uncertainty about how their peers would react.

Men's relationships with other men can be important sources of support and friendship, but they can also be characterised by aggressive forms of masculinity that encourage hostility toward women. This is especially true of some sports settings and military organisations.

This, then, is the central idea behind #YesAllMen. Quite simply, that all men can promote equality and respect by challenging negative peer attitudes and behaviours.

I was recently walking with a friend along Brunswick Street when a group of men shouted about her breasts while driving past. She did her best to ignore it. It was an uncomfortable, demeaning experience that I witness happen to the women closest to me too often.

In any such situation, the people best placed to intervene are the men laughing alongside.

Whether it's the office, the locker-room, the classroom or the street, the intervention of peers can have a powerful effect.

What you can do

Men can refuse to validate aggressive behaviour with laughs. They can spurn competitions of sexual conquest. They can withhold approval from peers who express demeaning attitudes about women. They can abandon justifications like "it's just a joke" or "it's just locker-room banter" and especially "boys will be boys" and dismiss them as the hollow excuses they are.

In conversations about violence against women, it's critical that we do not attribute this violence to external factors that suggest men can't be held accountable for their action. Yet such violence is often attributed to stress, alcohol or mental health status.

Likewise, men must challenge narratives which shift the blame from perpetrators to victims.

For instance, they should dispute the idea that women are at fault if they are assaulted while walking home alone at night.

On a personal level, men must reject aggressive and entitled versions of masculinity and foster personal identities unconstrained by stereotypes. The result of these combined efforts will be a safer society for everyone.

So absolutely, #YesAllMen.

Joshua Badge is an academic and researcher at Deakin University. Twitter: @joshuabadge