UNHEALTHY SALAD NEWS

It could happen to anyone. It could be me, it could be you. You could be lucky enough to be chosen by the big wig network producers at Universal Studios Orlando in Orlando, FLA to be the next contestant on the new hit show Figure-It-Out. It certainly happened to Chris Schwartz on May 23rd, 1997 and boy was he shafted.

“I was so stoked, I remember I went ballistic, just going crazy like I just got a holographic Charizard. My brother and I were playing a game of Monopoly when our mom came in and delivered the news” Schwartz said upon hearing he would soon be a contestant.

Chris was slotted to be the second contestant on the 12th episode of the inaugural season of Nickelodeons, Figure-It-Out. It was purely bliss….blissful, that is, until the show started. In Chris’ episode things were going smoothly. Summer was lookin’ fine, the panelist were gawking fools, and Chris was racking in the prizes, including one Nintendo 64. That very Nintendo 64 would be the final puzzle piece of a 19 year mystery.

In the past few years articles are surfacing of an incident between contestant and the shows host, Summer Saunders.

“I had one little kid who was so excited when he won one of the prizes that he went and put his arm up in the air to do a fist pump and he caught my nose. I didn’t start bleeding and it didn’t break my nose, but oh my god, it felt like it. It was that eyes-wouldn’t-stop-watering, that really stingy feeling like holy cow, I got to get this together. That’s the beauty of semi-live moments like that. It’s on air, it happened, it’s great.” (Summer Saunders, MTV.COM)

That little kid was Chris and it turns out that Summer wasn’t going to let Chris get away with a free jab to her face. Reports now confirm that Summer asked to “take five” after Chris’ accidental jab. She pulled Chris aside and said, ” Listen you little shit, this is my show and no one disrespects me like that out there!” Chris merely replied, “Try me bitch.”

That comment didn’t sit well with Ms. Saunders and she then took matters into her own hands. “Summer told the MC Jay to intentionally alter the gameshow.” said longtime Universal Studios camera man Fred Dorsettia. Jay did this by sharing classified information about the hidden answer on the coveted Billy the Answer head to a panelist.

Chris now says he deliberately heard the shows MC Jay tell panelist, Danny Tamberelli his invention answer and thus fore screwing Chris out of the Grand Prize and/or Toys R’ Us Geoffrey Dollars.

In Present day, Chris tells us that he finally figured it all out a few years ago and is mostly “at peace” with the incident. He also did mention that a little compensation from Nickelodeon would be nice also; such as: Toys R’ Us Geoffrey Dollars, Moon Boots, Sketchers, Ten Gallons of Slime, Nickelodeon Gack, and a Cruise to the Bahamas for starters.

Saunders publicist has yet to comment on the serious and sensitive accusations. We were able to catch Jay by complete surprise as he has been a bartender at Daytona Beach bar called Flingers. It was there when we got him very drunk and he finally spilled the beans about what happened that fateful day.

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