''However, she's let us down badly on climate change, and now we no longer care what colour hair our politicians have, as long as they have some decent climate policies.

"With our pale skin and delicate features we're worried that we'll fry unless something is done to reduce greenhouse pollution in Australia.''

KEDDIES SHOWS ITS CUDDLY SIDE

Mohammed Tariq has made himself an enemy of personal injury lawyers over the past two years, employing everything from sandwich boards to a donkey to accuse them of overcharging. The campaign began when the car crash victim's family received bills from Keddies lawyers that included $60 for a welcome letter, $49 for reading a ''thank you'' card and $600 for a two-kilometre taxi ride. Keddies has finally settled the case, agreeing in the District Court last month to pay the Tariq family $50,000, plus their legal costs in the matter. Keddies said the Legal Services Commissioner had dismissed 10 out of 11 of the Tariq family's complaints against the firm and that this claim for costs had no legal basis. But, in its kindness, the firm had ''carefully considered the state of mind of Mr Tariq, which has been clearly documented in the courts, and decided against subjecting he and his family to the trauma of a drawn-out legal battle in which they were unlikely to win''.

TOP NOSH BAR NUN



Halo, halo, what's all this then? Australia's very own Top Nun, Mary MacKillop, pictured, will be canonised in October, and it is such a big event that celebrations are starting early - tonight in fact. Hundreds of people will kick off a campaign to raise funds for the celebrations, with 700 people to attend a dinner at Town Hall. Guests will dine on food created by the chef Luke Mangan. The Archbishop of Sydney, Cardinal George Pell, is due to walk the red carpet, as will the Premier, Kristina Keneally, the ambassador to the Holy See, Tim Fischer, the opposition treasury spokesman, Joe Hockey, and chief executives and industry leaders. A silent auction will also be held. The appeal would ensure that everyone can be part of the celebrations of Australia's first saint, and help send a group of Aboriginal, Torres Strait Islander and young people to Rome, Sister Mary Mercer said. ''It's getting people to be in the right mood for preparing for the great event in Rome,'' she said. ''We're very keen to get as many Australians to Rome as we can - it's an historic moment for Australians.'' All of which brings to mind our favourite convent joke: How many good puns can you make out of the word ''habit''? Nun.