Though it's not in our nature to celebrate "Throwback Thursday," if there's someone worth turning back the clock for on a regular basis, it may just be Janet Jackson, whose songs and videos over a two-plus-decade career are capable of eliciting a surprisingly wide variety of feelings in men the world over. Yet some seem dangerously unaware of what Janet Jackson can so. Herewith, a guide through all the steps. It's enough to make R. Kelly blush.

Step 1. Next-door neighbor Janet

"Let's Wait Awhile"

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Step 2. Enough waiting, let's do this Janet.

"Someday Is Tonight"

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*****Interlude*****

Okay, so those are good and all, but they're not, like, wild, right?

*****Resume******

Step 3. Let's use props in our recording of sexual acts Janet

"Warmth"

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Step 4. Let's get specific, I mean, really considerably, literally, text-bookishly, under-a-microscope, repeatedly specific Janet

"Would You Mind"

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Step 5. Janet wants you but you're in another relationship and she respects boundaries (but her mind is still dirty).

"If"

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Step 6. Janet has you and loves you, like, ethnically.

"China Love"

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Step 7. Janet is in a long-term committed relationship with you and loves you but you're not giving her any and she's "about to get an attitude" about it and makes a very specific request to rectify the situation.

"Like You Don't Love Me"

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Step 8. Janet is into bondage.

"Rope Burn"

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