“Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.”

― Anaïs Nin-

Upon taking some time out to reflect on how fast the year has gone by (FOLKS IT AUGUST ALREADY!!!). It felt like just yesterday I was celebrating New Year messaging my friend while we reflected upon 2015 and how shitty our year was. It’s fascinating since he joked and said how 2016 is going to be a “better year” poor soul sounded so confident went on to explain every “even year” was a “better year”. Which gave me a good old giggle.

I realised that 2016 is not over yet, but I highly doubt this is going to be put down as “my best year ever”. I’m someone who deals with a certain amount of anxiety. To anyone who doesn’t know what anxiety is here’s a mini crash course.

Anxiety is defined online as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.

To put it in a better perspective it’s over thinking about things and not having any control over the situation or your thoughts. For someone who has to deal with it regularly, I find it quite ridiculous since I logically know I can’t handle the situation. The outcome is just the outcome, and I just have to roll with the punches and whatever happens I can will have to deal with whatever comes. Having anxiety, however, leads to anxiety attacks.

Anxiety attacks are an intense feeling of fear, doom, foreboding, and gloom. A sudden urgency to escape, run away, or get out. The fear that you make lose control of your thoughts and actions. This can lead to physical symptoms as well such as; dizziness, nausea, vomiting, a feeling of light-headedness like you might pass out, trembling/shaking, weakness, difficulty breathing, pounding (racing heart), hot or cold flashes, chest pains, numb feeling in hands or legs, irrational thoughts and a number of other physical, psychological and emotional symptoms.

However, please do keep in mind many people get anxious over different things and experience different; physical, psychological and emotional symptoms. I feel like because of this I typically tend to keep myself in a certain comfort zone, but due to certain situations that weren’t in my control this year I had to take a step out, see if I could change the situation entirely. While talking to someone new I realised I had to step way more out than I initially thought I would ever have to go. After several meltdowns (which I hated and was very embarrassed about) and constant back and forth about my decisions that lead me to where I was, I hated everything about it. Here was a situation where I had no control, I just happened to be someone who got affected by everything others did, but not really the primary person or persons involved. What was I going through this whole ordeal for, if nothing came out of it? Nothing was even tipped in my favour at the end of all of it! I had to deal with people I barely knew to get their advice because they were more involved than I was, I went through all that trouble for nothing.

But here it is the moment, a great epiphany that hit me upon my reflection, if I just left that one thing aside, that one experience, that one situation, that one pointless experiment to help me out, from 2015-2016 here I am. Stepping out of my comfort zone, feeling less anxious and more in control, since that pushed me places I never thought I could even go. I can’t, however, take all the credit for myself. Most of the pushing and motivating was done by someone who barely even knows the great impact they have had in my life.

So even though you might not read this, this is to everyone else who has ever help their friend, family member, random strangers or anyone else out. Thank you, those words feel so small like it doesn’t fully show or contain my gratitude. Thank you for all the late night to early am calls when I couldn’t sleep. Thank you for asking me how I was doing (even if sometimes indirectly). Thank you for talking me through my back and forth and listening/reading my long rants. Thank you for the great advice you gave me through everything. Thank you for always making my hard to get through days possible, by always providing me with a real smile or giggle, sometimes even laughter that out right made my sides hurt enough to feel like I was achieving a six-pack. There is so much to thank you for that would fill up this entire post. But mostly thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone, it was so hard getting out and I might have blamed you along the way, which I am sorry for. But I am so grateful for how much I realised I have grown. I hope that someday I can only help you or someone else as much as you have helped me.

To anyone else dealing with anxiety I am no doctor, but here a few things I do to help me through tough times.

I stop and go for a walk, run or just anything you like that will give you some fresh air. This always manages to make me feel better, and studies even show that fresh air, a walk, exercise helps to de-stress.

Pull yourself out of that negative situation, have a fun chat with someone you like, people have always managed to make me laugh, and they have no idea how much they have helped my day. Even playing with a pet helps. Fun fact hospitals use them with kids to help them de-stress as it releases a happy drug in our brains and makes us just smile. I think it’s mostly just fooling your brain into forgetting about whatever you are worried about.

If you are a writer, write things down this always managed to give me perspective, which is what might have also initiated this blog among several other things. Keep a diary and account for times you felt highly anxious and how you managed to deal with it or just write down why you are anxious and all the possible ways you can fix it. Sometimes you might even find the root cause of your anxiety and hopefully managed to cut off the head of the snake directly.

Plan your day, months, the year or set individual goals for yourself, I can’t explain how much better it feels knowing you have achieved your daily, weekly, monthly or yearly goals.

REFLECT !!!!!!! One of the things a lot of people fail to do. Don’t only reflect upon to negative stuff or things you haven’t managed to achieve, but reflect over your life in general and realise how far you have come. And if you haven’t any no big deal, make a plan for what all you would like to be or like to change. Remember every day you managed to get through is an achievement all in itself.

!!!!!!! One of the things a lot of people fail to do. Don’t only reflect upon to negative stuff or things you haven’t managed to achieve, but reflect over your life in general and realise how far you have come. And if you haven’t any no big deal, make a plan for what all you would like to be or like to change. Remember every day you managed to get through is an achievement all in itself. Mostly and this is something I believe in celebrating. Celebrate the small accomplishments and large ones in your life. You did it, and you managed to get through it. Why shouldn’t you celebrate it? Even if it sounds like something silly to others, it was something huge for you! Throw yourself mini dance parties, treat yourself to mini cakes or any other things you enjoy, save up and go out and buy yourself whatever you wanted. CELEBRATE every little thing you do and be happy because you deserve it, and you will slowly find yourself being less anxious about things cause of all your achievements laid out in front of you from all your mini celebrations creating great memories you have. This will also help you realise how you managed to get yourself through that time you thought you couldn’t, but you did it. YOU MANAGED IT!

I hope this helped someone who has or is dealing with anxiety, and I know how bad it is to feel like you aren’t in control of your own thoughts or feelings. I’m here to tell you that I thought I couldn’t do it and it’s a battle every day, but here I am. If you aren’t dealing with anxiety, I can’t tell you how lucky you are, I know you are dealing with other things, I hope things get better. To someone who is reading this and helped someone get through an anxiety attack, thank you, you are an angel. To someone else who is reading this realise that everyone is dealing with problems and be kind. You have no idea how the smallest things for you can make someone day so much better, you might unknowingly be saving them. I hope this post as helped you learn a few things about anxiety and something in this post helps you. Thank you for anyone who’s managed to read all this so far, it’s been one of those longer posts.

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.”

― Charles Haddon Spurgeon-

Love always.

Keep believing.