THERE is still one more weekend to go before the election. It is near impossible to imagine what fevered nonsense the English tabloids will come up with next Saturday and Sunday.

Who, this time last week, could have predicted that Nicola Sturgeon being a bit nasty to her little sister (with whom she appears to have a loving, friendly and normal sisterly relationship) could be a reason for her being the most dangerous woman in the country?

Who could have predicted the utter, almost incomprehensibly bizarre intervention from Theresa May in the Mail on Sunday? SNP MPs being democratically elected and then sitting in the House of Commons represents the worst crisis this country has faced “since the abdication”? The abdication? Forget World War 2 or the Cold War or Black Monday or the economic crisis.

And then the Tories have re-imagined Alex Salmond as some sort of Robin McHood, a cat burglar-type dressed in black, pickpocketing the English and giving to the Scottish.

Salmond said yesterday that the Tory campaign is laughable.

And he’s right, it is. Except, it’s also deeply unfunny.

Aside from the nonsense over the doll, the article in The Sun made remarks about Sturgeon’s looks and her sexual history. It was vile and nasty and misogynistic. Her opponents do not want to tackle her on politics, so they tackle her by trying to shame her and embarrass her. The classy way the First Minister reacted shows that they’ve failed. But she shouldn’t have had to react in the first place.

The Home Secretary talking about the abdication is startling because presumably she believes it. Given that it was May who suggested that if Scotland became independent there would need to be border guards and passport controls along the border, we should, perhaps, have been more ready.

The picture of Salmond on billboards across England and Wales may make you laugh as he looks like some sort of cheeky Milk Tray man stealing to fund his Caramel Softy and Exotic Delight habit. But explicitly calling an elected representative a thief as part of a campaign is one of the most negative adverts this country has seen.

We warned last week that it was about to get nastier, and it did.

The next 11 days will see our right as voters denigrated.

What is interesting is how both Labour and the Tories have spent most of this campaign tied up in process. They appear more concerned with politics than issues.

It is telling that by being open and honest in what she wants out of this election, the First Minister is able to do both.

As the polls remain tight, with Labour and the Conservatives tied, we can expect it to get worse. Labour, the Conservatives and the LibDems have stopped trying to win.They are now trying to lose as least-badly as possible.

They are trying not to die. We expect them to lash out more over the next week.