I’m crying. Literally crying. Actual tears in my eyes. Salty. They sting. PHP is physically hurting me.

All of these freaking ridiculous function names we’ve been stuck with for twenty years are because of a POORLY CHOSEN HASH FUNCTION ON A DATASET OF ONE HUNDRED SHORT STRINGS.

Screencap via @DefuseSec because the actual site is down, presumably from everyone gawking in sheer disbelief.