This is going to be the one time I speak of this, because thinking about it really pisses me and I don’t like to be the kind of person who’s angry all the time. Anyone in the future who asks me or sends me a PM about this topic will just get linked back to this post not because I want to be an asshole about it, but because talking about it makes me very uncomfortable and depressed.



So as some of you know there was recently a Raidolab episode where they previewed some content from the upcoming program, Invisibilia, and there was an interview/story thing on me. What you might not know is that -



This interview was done two fucking years ago when I was a very different person than I am today. See, two years ago there was actually a lot of talk about bigender people and it was a newer thing was was getting more recognition. People were wondering what it was, what caused it and such. If the story had aired back then it might have actually been relevant, but now it’s really outdated which brings me to my next point.



The language used in the story is fucking bullshit. "Born a man" and all that crap they use to “other” trans woman. They had a very specific narrative they wanted to tell and they did everything they could to tell it. I’d thought back then that NPR was better than that but as I know now, NPR actually has a history using fucked up language when telling stories about trans people. If only I knew that the two fucking years ago when this interview was actually recorded.



And that’s all pretty crappy, but the most fucked up thing about it is that they dead-named me after I made a big huge deal about why that would be a bad thing and how it would hurt me. This is unforgivable.



I had talked to Alice Spiegel maybe two months ago about this and Iria was even in the room and remembers this fucking conversation where I had to again explain to her (again) why dead-naming a trans woman was an awful thing to do. When I was dead-named right at the start of the program my heart fucking fell into the pit of my stomach. I felt betrayed and violated by someone who I’d trusted and that’s shits fucked up.



Hearing my old dead voice, my old dead name, all the same bullshit de-gendering language… it put me into a deep depression that I’m working hard to get though right now. Oh yeah, and whoever edited that piece of shit did an awful job too. Fuck.



So if you could do me a huge favor, please don’t even fucking listen to the raidolab thing if you don’t mind, and please do not listen to the Invisibilia episode coming up at the end of the month that will have some more shit on me, I don’t know if it’ll be what was already broadcast or what. Fuck, you could even just boycott the fucking program all together. That would actually make me feel fluffy and happy.



So there you go. Please don’t message me about it, because with this post I’d really like to put it all behind me and move the fuck on. Thank you all very much for your time and consideration. Cheers.