Idiots seem to have taken over the public sphere of debating in India. Armed with ignorance, lies, malice, and shouting behind rampaging Islamists, they are out to drown out any informed debate or discussion around Citizenship Amendment Act (CAA) and the supposedly impending National Register of Citizens (NRC). They are trying to save the country from fires of communalism by helping rabid Islamists put trains and buses on fire. Yes, that’s how much idiot they are.

Normally it’s advised to keep away from idiots, and most right-leaning Hindus are doing that, but just in case some idiot has caught hold of you and is insisting a debate. Here are some points you should know to counter the idiot.

Liberal Idiot: Why the hell allow Hindus, Sikhs and others to enter India but keep out just the Muslims?

You: Hey idiot, the Act doesn’t allow anyone to enter, but it deals with people who have already entered India. Not just that, only people who entered India before 31st December 2014 are covered under this act. Any Hindu, whom you hate from your bottom of your heart, will NOT become citizen of India if he came to India on are after 1st January 2015. So imagine, sometime in 2015, a Hindu in Pakistan decides to come to India because a strong “Hindu government” is in power, but he will NOT become citizen of India under this act. That should make you happy, idiot.

- Advertisement -

So forget Hindus from Pakistan, Afghanistan or Bangladesh rushing into India in future due to this Act, many among those who are already here are not getting any benefits. They will continue to be treated as illegal immigrants and can be jailed or deported back to the Islamic countries, where they will be killed or converted, something that should calm down your frayed tempers.

Liberal Idiot: Even Muslims like Ahmediyas and Shias are persecuted in Pakistan, why not allow them?

You: (Refer to the answer above that the Act is not about ‘allowing’ anyone. Now let’s proceed to the second part) Okay, I agree that Ahmediays and Shias are persecuted in Pakistan, but can you show me A SINGLE MEDIA REPORT that talks about Ahmediyas or Shias living in some refugee camps in India? Your own secular media has reported about Pakistani Hindu refugee camps in places like Delhi and Jodhpur other places, but where are the reports on Ahmediyas or Shias coming to India as refugees?

Where are those refugee camps? Where are those people whom you want to give citizenship? Remember idiot, this Act is all about those who are already here by 31st December 2014, not about people currently in Pakistan or elsewhere. Show me a single Indian secular media report that talks about even one refugee camp, or even a report on some Ahmediya or Shia families who came to India as religiously persecuted group and who are thus excluded from this Act.

In future, whether a Hindu, or Shia, or Ahmediya, anyone fleeing Pakistan and seeking citizenship in India will have to go through the same process and paperwork. There is no special status to Hindus or special exclusion to Muslims for anyone coming in India on or after 1st January 2015.

Liberal Idiot: Real problem is CAA and NRC combined as a Muslim who is already here will have to work extra to prove his citizenship.

You: Hey Idiot No. 1, you have already lost the argument on CAA so now you are bringing the non-existent NRC into picture. We have zero idea about a nationwide NRC. Everything about a nationwide NRC is speculation as of now and you have burnt buses and trains based on assumptions.

The only place where NRC is being maintained, and that is also being done on orders of Supreme Court, is in Assam. Assam problem is altogether different and you as liberal-secular should actually be protesting in Assam and fighting for rights of everyone to settle in Assam as you want things to be in the rest of India.

Now, let us assume that a Hindu and a Muslim, who has been living in India for over 5 years can’t produce documents to prove that they are citizens of India, so under what law will a Hindu automatically become a citizen? CAA you said? Dear idiot, the Hindu will also be required to prove that he or his forefathers fled Pakistan, Afghanistan or Bangladesh. Government will ask ‘where is your refugee card’? Or ‘where is that train or bus ticket from Lahore’? So both the Hindu and the Muslim without documents will further need to prove something. Hindus are not getting any free pass.

But most importantly, we have ZERO idea about what documents and what procedures will be there in the nationwide NRC. How many of you protestors have asked for clarity on this? How does burning buses give you that clarity, idiot?

Liberal Idiot: All these things don’t matter. No law should have any exclusion basis based on religion. Period.

You: Finally, you talk sense, idiot. Our constitution should truly be secular (the word was not there in original preamble, you know that, right, idiot?) and not treat any religion with special status, either in positive or negative sense. But for that, you will need to change many things in the constitution. Remove all articles and laws that give special status to minorities for running their educational or cultural institutions. Remove Minority Affairs ministry. Free the Hindu temples. At least make reservations or RTI applicable to minority institutions.

You get the point? If you were totally cool with plethora of laws and articles that are blatantly ‘communal’ in nature, you can’t have your panties in twist over CAA, which is just as much communal as any of these. This is why you guys are burning buses and trains, because you know that in Supreme Court, you will lose the case as there is nothing unconstitutional about this law. If CAA is unconstitutional, many other laws and articles from constitution will need to go, and we Hindus will only be happy if they go away.

Liberal Idiot: You are fascist, bigot. We are fighting for Idea of India.

You: You are the real fascist who is cheering crowds that are shouting islamofascist slogans. Your heroes have openly called for Jihad and they believe in Ummah. You want another partition by inciting Muslims mobs to burn down India. You hate Hindus to the extent that you say you don’t care if they are killed or raped by Jihadis in Pakistan. So go slow on that fascism and bigotry chant, liberal.

Now get lost, idiot.