The Sweetest Thing

1st place in Derby #228: Double-Take Derby 15, with 803 votes!

Barbara? Barbara, are you okay? Hey, hey, she’s moving! She’s okay! Hey, Barbara, let us help you up. No, no, go slow, okay? Just sit in this chair, we’ll get you some water. Hey, can you go get Barbara some water? Yeah, thanks, drink this, Barbara… no, no, little sips, little sips. Are you okay? How many fingers am I holding up? Should we call a doctor or anything?

No, I don’t know what happened either. First you were sitting at your desk talking about the weekend, and then you said you were going to look at the Derby winner, and then all of a sudden you just fell over. Don’t you remember? No memory of it at all? Wow, I guess you just blocked it out or something. I guess it was finally too much cute for you to take.

No, no, no! Don’t look again! You can’t… aw, MAN, I can’t believe she did that. Okay, nobody panic, she’s fine, just get me another chair and some more water. And can one of you unplug her computer? Just until tomorrow, just to keep her safe. This shirt is clearly just too cute for her system to handle.

Wear this shirt: with Dinah. It doesn’t matter if it’s Dinah from Alice in Wonderland or Dinah from the second half of “I’ve Been Working On The Railroad” because you’ll have both covered.

Don’t wear this shirt: around the state health inspector. No hair net? Animal in the kitchen? Dairy product left uncovered? Refuse in the work area? Kitty would get shut down in a hot second.

This shirt tells the world: “It’s a lot better than those dead birds she used to bring me.”

We call this color: B-Red

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