The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:

Hello, it's me

I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet

To go over everything

They say that time's supposed to heal ya

But I ain't done much healing

Hello from the other side

I must've called a thousand times

To tell you I'm sorry

For everything that I've done

But when I call you never

Seem to be home

-- "Hello," Adele

It was late Saturday night, and the phone just kept ringing. Brrrring... brrrring... it went on and on through the speakerphone. Finally, I spoke up. "Guys, I told you. They're not going to pick up."

"But ... I can see Tom Osborne over there. They're in the conference room ..."

"Coach, put down the binoculars. You're being creepy."

You see, Adele, we were trying to say hello from the other side. The College Football Playoff selection committee spent its weekend bunkered in its swanky digs at the Gaylord Texan in Grapevine, Texas. Meanwhile, across Lake Grapevine, our Bottom 10 selection committee was holed up in Flower Mound, Texas, at the Hacienda Courts. While they watched conference championship games on a wall of flat-screen TVs and sorted through servers full of data in a Lone Star Tower conference room, we watched a handful of Sun Belt games on a Sony Watchman and tried to download the box scores on CompuServe dial-up from the Fiesta Room.

The 2015 Bottom 10 Selection Committee:

-- Charlie Weis, former Notre Dame and Kansas empire builder

-- Watson Brown, just-retired Tennessee Tech head coach and all-time losingest FBS head coach

-- Jerry Glanville, former head coach of the Houston Oilers, Atlanta Falcons and Portland State, NASCAR Camping World Truck Series racer

-- Charlie Weatherbie, former head coach, Utah State, Navy, Louisiana-Monroe

-- Ed "Straight Arrow" Gennero, former head coach, Texas State Armadillos

-- Larry, assistant desk manager, Flower Mound Hacienda Courts

-- Madeleine Albright, former U.S. Secretary of State

Once our final Bottom 10 of 2015 was official, I assumed the role of Jeff Long, chairman of our committee. Like Long, I was trotted out to answer questions from assembled media. But instead of talking with Rece Davis on ESPN, most of my questions were from a guy in a Deadpool hoodie, recording it on a smartphone for his vlog.

The following were my explanations of the reasoning behind the reasons we made our very reasonable decisions.

With apologies to Laurie Blue Adkins and Steve Harvey, here's this week's Bottom 10.

As you can imagine, Central Florida is where we spent the majority of our time. Not actually in Central Florida. That would have been awesome. Rather, debating the winless teams of UCF versus Kansas for the top bottom spot. According to ESPN Stats & Information's FPI formula, UCF ranked 125th in the nation and Kansas was 122nd. There are 128 FBS schools. UCF also outranked KU in total offense (128th versus 117th) and points per game (126th versus 123rd). Kansas was worse defensively, ranking 128th in both total defense (UCF was 114th) and points allowed per game (UCF was 118th). But according to FPI, on a neutral field, Kansas would be favored by 0.7 points. KU's schedule was also much more difficult, ranking fifth in the nation versus 70th for UCF. "You can't penalize Kansas for giving up points to all those Big 12 teams!" someone shouted from outside our meeting room. When we ran to the window to see who it was, we caught Gayle Sayers and John Riggins jumping into a pickup truck with Kansas plates and driving away.

The Kansas discussion was easily the most difficult for the committee. Not because of all that statistical stuff, but rather because, per the Bottom 10 bylaws, committee member Charlie Weis had to recuse himself whenever the topic of the Nayhawks came up. He'd always scream defiantly, "How can you do this when you know I am the man who built this program into what it is today?!" And then he'd go sulk in the motel lobby, counting his money to pass the time.

Just as we began to start our post-UCF/KU debate, I received a tweet from Chris "The Bear" Fallica of College GameDay fame that read simply: "North Texas has to be a lock". And thus that debate promptly ended.

We deeply respect Eastern Michigan's willingness to aggressively schedule Bottom 10 opponents. The Eagles played a total of five teams that spent at least some time in our rankings this season, including nonconference games with Old Dominion, Army and Wyoming. In 2016, they will visit Charlotte for what we hope will be the first live broadcast of "Bottom 10 GameDay," shot with a second-hand GoPro off the back of my truck.

5. Refs

The only people more excited to get the 2015 season over than the teams on this list are the teams wearing black and white stripes. Our committee came to this conclusion after discovering that several college football officials were hiding out in the extended stay wing of our motel.

One year ago, the Musdangs lost the 2014 Bottom 10 championship via a statistical tiebreaker to Georgia State Not Southern, not dissimilar to this year's title fight. One year later, GSU is 6-6 and has accepted a bowl bid. We here at the committee are proud of the Panthers, but we also feel a little betrayed.

It wasn't lost on the committee that the Cowboys ended the season with a comeback win over UNLV. But it also wasn't lost on the committee that they lost their Week 2 home game with Eastern Michigan. It also wasn't lost on the committee that we were actually lost, trying to return to the Hacienda Courts from a Whataburger run.

In case you read that stuff about UCF and Kansas and their FPI rankings and wondered, "Wait, then what was the worst team in the nation according to FPI?" Well, here's your answer. And while we respect FPI, this was not enough to rank Charlotte any higher, due in large part to their early win over Georgia State Not Southern. Plus, we don't fully understand how FPI works. Coach Glanville has expressed concerns that its accuracy might be tied to witchcraft.

This was a very heated debate as to who between Oregon State and Purdue would be the non-Kansas Power 5 conference representative in the Bottom 10. Both posted 2-10 records, but both scored wins over eventual bowl teams. In the end, Pur-don'ts win over 5-7 Nebraska, which will play in the Foster Farms Bowl, was too legit, more so than Oregon State's victory over 5-7 San Jose State, which will be in the Cure Bowl. After I used the phrase "too legit" aloud, Secretary Albright wouldn't stop humming MC Hammer's "2 Legit 2 Quit." And there's no Cure for that.

Everyone on the committee agreed that it was a big advantage for ULM to play its final contest of the season while we were watching games. Because, you know, the eye test. Though, in the name of transparency, Jerry Glanville's eyes were closed because he was asleep the entire time. ULM came from behind to defeat New Mexico State in the Pillow Fight of the Week finale. We did move them from third to 10th and considered swapping Texas State into this spot but remembered that the Bobcats defeated ULM head-to-head just two weeks ago. Plus, ULM is what committee member and former Warhawks head coach Charlie Weatherbie would always say before recusing himself from the discussion. As in, "Well, ulm, I guess I gotta leave now ..."

Waiting list: Army Black Nots (2-9), Pur-don't (2-10), New Mexico State (3-9), Tejas State (3-9), Huh-why-yuh (3-10), I-ow!-a State (3-9), two Mountain West teams in the same bowl game.