cis white gay/bi men do not get fetishized

sure they experience homophobia, and get discriminated against for being gay sure, but what they experience is NOT fetishization

the definition of fetishization is when you are REDUCED TO A SEXUAL OBJECT ON SYSTEMIC SCALE, an object that is typically seen as UNWANTED, NONSEXUAL AND EVEN DISGUSTING by a gaze that has the power to REDUCE YOU to a sexual fetish in the eyes of society

straight women do not have the mobility in this society to do this to cis white gay men, who actually in many contexts have more power than them in our society

queer women are fetishized - the very act of a woman kissing another women in public will make many women feel like they are unsafe and being sexualized on the spot - not too mention all the harassment and violence queer women face as a result of this

two women can’t be physically intimate without the male gaze intervening - and in many places they often can’t do it in public for fear of sexualization/fetishization - simply saying you are a queer women will often result in a man sexualizing you on the spot

AND QUEER WOMEN INTERNALIZE THE MALE GAZE EVEN IN THEIR PRIVATE MOMENTS TOGETHER

transwomen are fetishized, people of color are fetishized

these are people considered UNDESIRABLE to the white male gaze in our society - who are ONLY seen as desirable within a very narrow, fetishizing, objectifying context

transwomen are reduced to sex objects in porn as a special fetish - typically in society transwomen are treated as unwanted and assumed to be ugly , and fear violence - cis people will literally say someone looks like a drag queen or “tr***y” to mean ugly - 50% of all LGBT murders are made up of transwomen despite being a small part of the population– and the reward given to transwomen for all this? is only being seen as “desirable” when treated as taboo fetish/object to jack off to, which only contributes to the high incidents of rape and assault transwomen face

men of color are reduced to specific fetishes, the “hypermasculine” Black man, the “asian boy,” etc in gay porn - they even have terms for people who like these “fetishes” the white gay male audience for Asian men, for example are called “rice queens” - all of this while be excluded from gay spaces and neighborhoods and even most porn, which are white spaces - their only way of entry is through being a fetish

even transmen have been fetishized to a lesser degree (think Buck Angel)

and queer women, who are typically seen as masculine dykes no one wants, are fetishized only when they can be seen as performing under the male gaze - subsuming queer women under the male gaze nullifies whatever anti-patriarchal power women who only want women may have

fetishization is violence - it is a violent act that reduces you to a THING that is wanted only a specific context and exists for the gaze of a privileged group

i’m not going to say all of us who experience fetishization experience it the same way, because that’s not true - by virtue of being cis, white, male or whatever privileges you have will mean experiencing less fetishization and less severe forms of it - but my point is that the term fetishization actually HAS A MEANING beyond “you were being discriminatory toward me” - a straight girl saying “my gays” “my gay bff” or what have you may be annoying and homophobic but it’s not FETISHIZATION

in this society, CIS WHITE GAY MEN are not seen as direct threats to the kyriarchy the way these other groups are (in fact, cis white gay men are behind the fetishizing gaze of the gay porn industry)

you have too much mobility and power to be fetishized (you are more often the fetishizers)

i don’t want to fucking see this word used this way anymore

i am so done with the only time people talk about “fetishization of gay people” they mean slash by teenage girls or whatever the fuck and the “victims” they have in mind are white cis gay men and have not one care in the world about ACTUAL queer victims of fetishization

this word has been fucking diluted to mean almost fucking nothing - and of course, as per usual only cis white gay men have the spotlight as victims of homophobia when they experience it the LEAST of ANYONE