HARRISBURG, PA—Claiming that the price of the incredible idea far exceeded his emotional investment in his relationship, local man Alex Ramsey said Wednesday that an extravagant romantic gesture he has in mind is too expensive to waste on his current girlfriend. “I can’t wait to finally surprise someone special with a trip to Paris, but I just don’t think Sarah’s the one I should be spending that much money on,” said Ramsey, noting that the cost—not only of airfare but also dinner at a Michelin-rated restaurant and a private chartered boat ride on the Seine—meant that he had to be very selective in choosing his companion. “I like Sarah a lot, but I might only be able to afford a lavish trip like this once in my lifetime. And, frankly, I’m not sure I want to run up my credit card bill for someone who isn’t absolutely perfect.” Ramsey went on to say, however, that he might be willing to make the trip with his current girlfriend if she agreed to go dutch.

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