Every now and then, a federal motion is filed that’s so beautifully written that we simply wouldn’t be able to do it justice by describing it in words. Instead, we’re just going to show it to you.

Prepare to feast your eyes upon pure eloquence and class. From the plaintiff calling the judge an “old, IMPOTENT geezer” and a “f*cking b*tch” to alleging that it only “took [her] about 1 month to study the history of the world and to learn the history and inner workings of American jurisprudence, literally,” this motion — entitled “Notice To F*ck This Court And Everything That It Stands For” — is simply amazing.

This is just a sample of the incredible legal rhetoric you’ll find in this legal pleading:

[J]ust in case you haven’t noticed—I couldn’t give two f*cks about you or what you have to say. F*ck you, old man. You’re a joke. Your court’s a joke. You take it up the a*s; and you suck nuts. Lol.

Behold, a legal masterpiece.

(Gavel bang: Sarah Jeong.)

Notice To F*ck This Court And Everything That It Stands For [Scribd]