Part of the campaign:

Welcome back to another round of Groundhog Day, this time once again narrated by me, Admiral_Cloudberg. After Venezuela's victory in round 4, 3.5 out of the 4 points awarded have gone to civs starting next to the Shoshone. Just an odd trend I noticed. Anyway, who will rise to the challenge this time? Let's find out!

The second cities are founded, and Poland, Burundi, and Wallachia all choose new spots.

The Vikings declare the first war, targeting Millard Fillmore. Washington is defended by a scout and a great general—truly a terrifying army.

Ragnar easily takes Washington. I have no doubt he would eliminate America if he had easier access to New Orleans.

Japan attacks the Tanguts, who still haven't founded a second city for some reason. That settler is going to die real quick.

Leon and Venezuela attack Sulu in an attempt to cut off the current points leader before Jamalul Kiram can rack up even more.

The Vikings continue their aggressive streak, attacking Wallachia!

And Campulung quickly falls. It will flip, but the momentum is firmly with Ragnar here.

Surprise! Alfonso forgot to build a navy before attacking Sulu, and has lost Astorga to an attacj from the sea.

Now it's time for the turn 100 stats. The Shoshone have the largest army, followed by a surprise second place showing from Bohemia.

I've decided to substitute out crop yield for land area this round. The Vikings have the most, while the Shoshone are second. Slightly more surprising is that Rapa Nui is tied with the Shoshone.

The Vikings have the most production, understandably. Konbaung is second, but is much closer to third than to first.

Cambarantana attacks Fillmore in an attempt to unite the two halves of his empire. If he fails to take New Orleans, I'll eat 8 classic style 4-inch brass door hinges with ball tip finials.

Oh good, looks like I don't have to do that.



Millard Fillmore of America is eliminated in 21st place.

Sulu builds the great wall! This is an important step in getting yet another victory. This madman clearly needs to be stopped.

At some point, Córdoba gave away Tulaytulah to Scotland. Smart move.

Okay, you have to be fucking kidding me... Oda pls



Note the background though: the Vikings and Konbaung have declared war on Burundi.

Ragnar makes peace with Wallachia and receives Arges. By calling the toll-free number of your screen within the next fifteen minutes, you too can receive a free Arges along with your purchase of a peace treaty with Wallachia (just $19.99!)

Leon and Sulu team up against Bohemia! That army doesn't really scream "second place" anymore does it.

The Vikings sneak into the middle of Burundian territory and take New Orleans.

And Sulu takes Prague! Jamalul Kiram certainly isn't taking it easy despite already having the lead.

Benin joins the war against Burundi, likely sealing Cambarantana's fate.

Indeed, Benin quickly takes Bujumbura. However, in one last heroic effort, Burundi retakes New Orleans from the Vikings.

And this time Konbaung takes the city instead.

And the Vikings capture Gitega, eliminating Cambarantana of Burundi in 20th place.

The Vikings then declare war on the Massegetae, which is a terrible move considering that Ragnar has two exclaves bordering the enemy, and few civs have the tech for open borders.

Sure enough, the Massagetae capture Arges, and some units can be seen approaching Gitega as well.

Holy shit, this is a surprise! In a war I didn't even know was happening, Konbaung captures Edo, decapitating Benin!

Now it's time for the turn 200 stats. The Vikings now lead in military manpower, while all the other civs form a pack with narrow margins all the way down.

Scotland somehow leads in tech, probably because they've been able to grow in peace while everyone else does the fighting.

And the Vikings have extended their production lead. The only civ that comes close is Konbaung.

Anyway, the Massagetae have captured Gitega, thoroughly humiliating the Vikings by taking both of their exclaves.

But Tomyris gives Arges back to Ragnar in the peace treaty. Wow.

Ignoring their recent hostilities, the Vikings and the Massagetae team up against Wallachia! This looks like yet another great way to lose Arges...

Benin takes New Orleans from Konbaung. Ewuare gets to walk away with something, at least.

Suddenly, Leon attacks Scotland while James VI is already occupied with a stalemated war against Japan! Scotland is in real trouble now!

Sure enough, Wallachia retakes Arges from the Vikings, although Targoviste looks like it's in trouble.

And the Vikings take Targoviste on the same turn that the Massagetae capture Arges. Vlad III "The Impaler" of Wallachia is eliminated in 19th place. (The Vikings get the kill, I know this due to the turn order.)

The former enemies-turned-war buddies team up on a new target: Poland. Casimir is almost completely surrounded by the Vikings and the Massagetae, so there's no way he's surviving this.

But first, Rapa Nui sneaks in and captures Plzen, eliminating Vaclav II of Bohemia in 18th place.

Poland surges out and takes Arges, but the Viking hammer is falling on Warsaw, and I suspect that Poland is not long for this world.

Leon captures Glasgow, while three civilizations race for Edinburgh. Who will take it?

The Vikings take Warsaw and the Massagetae grab Krakow, exiling Poland to Arges. It's almost poetic. But what's that on the sidebar?

Yes, The Shoshone have captured Edinburgh, eliminating James VI of Scotland in 17th place!

Five turns later, the Massagetae finally capture Arges, eliminating Casimir III of Poland in 16th place.

The Vikings then proceed to attack Benin! How far can Ragnar expand before he overextends?

Meanwhile, Rapa Nui and Konbaung team up against the Massagetae, squeezing Tomyris from both east and west.

The Vikings pour down into former Burundian territory, taking New Orleans. Ragnar was probably salty about having this city stolen from him ages ago.

Sulu attacks Rapa Nui, all but guaranteeing that Plzen will fall.

The Shoshone, having rebuilt from the invasion of Scotland, now attack Córdoba too. Pocatello's army is way more advanced than Abd-ar-Rahman's and should easily wipe out the sultanate.

Jamalul Kiram captures and burns Plzen. So much for locking up the whole southern coast.

Konbaung takes Oxus, although it's a tenuous capture and is likely to flip.

Kaboom! Rapa Nui sweeps in and captures Jaxartes, taking Tomyris' last large and productive city.

Meanwhile, the Vikings continue to grind through Benin, taking Bujumbura.

Rapa Nui strikes inland, capturing Krakow!

Hotu Matua also takes Arges. This is the fifth civ that has owned this city and it's still the medieval era.

Oof. As expected, the Shoshone have taken Córdoba, eliminating Abd-ar-Rahman III in 15th place.

Nothing happens for 42 turns until Konbaung captures Ife, eliminating Ewuare of Benin in 14th place. Yes, I know I completely forgot the turn 300 stats. No, I didn't actually miss anything else, you can check the minimap and see that nothing has changed.

A few turns later, Konbaung once again declares war on the Massagetae. Maybe this time Alaungpaya is shooting for the elimination.

It's coalition time! Five civs attack Sulu, including Leon, Venezuela, and Rapa Nui. More seem likely to follow.

Konbaung takes Gitega. Now for the hard part: the fortified island city of Aral.

But Alaungpaya now has a much bigger threat to deal with, as the Vikings declare war on Konbaung! This is the moment of truth: if Alaungpaya can't stop Ragnar, then maybe no one can.

In the meantime, Rapa Nui decides to finish off Tomyris instead.

Ragnar flips Gitega, but Konbaung seems to have a narrow advantage in both numbers and tech.

Venezuela is the first to make gains against Sulu, taking Dungun.

Konbaung retakes Gitega, but the Vikings take a bigger prize in the form of Ife.

And this actually happened a couple turns ago, but Rapa Nui captured Aral, eliminating Tomyris of the Massagetae in 13th place.

Konbaung has retaken Ife and held on to Gitega. It's tenuous right now, but the war could end in a draw.

Ouch! The Shoshone snipe Bauang, even though Venezuela did all the work. If I were Venezuela, I'd denounce the Shoshone, but knowing Chavez's AI, I bet he already has.

On the eastern front, Leon takes Prague. One city remains...

And Leon takes Astorga as well, eliminating Jamalul Kiram of Sulu in 12th place. Clearly the other civs have learned what happens if Sulu is left unchecked for too long.

Japan tries again to eliminate the Tanguts. If Oda fails again, I swear I will die inside.

The Vikings retake Gitega and Ife and take Oxus as well before deciding that Alaungpaya has been humiliated enough. The two sides make peace with a clear victory for Ragnar.

In a corner of the world that we have not yet seen this round, Songhai finally awakens and declares war on Maurya.

Meanwhile, the Vikings seek to expand across the northern bay by attacking Japan!

Osaka quickly falls and Kyoto begins to take damage.

This doesn't prevent Oda from taking Xinqing, eliminating Weiming Yuanhao of the Tanguts in 11th place.

After a surprisingly long naval assault, Kyoto finally falls. Only a few Japanese land units remain to flip it, thanks in part to a Shoshone invasion from the west.

Oda retakes his capital, only to face more war declarations from Lyon and Nepal.

Out of nowhere, Venezuela steals Songhai's thunder by capturing Sarnath!

Ragnar retakes Kyoto while Leon captures Tokyo, reducing Japan to one city.

But Songhai manages to get to Pataliputra before Venezuela can, so it's not a total loss.

Just so you know, Maurya isn't dead yet. Honestly though, they probably wish they were.

At some point Leon took this Japanese colony down here. Just thought I'd make note of it.

The Vikings win the worlds fair project by a decent, but not insurmountable margin.

And the Shoshone capture Xinqing—somehow. This eliminates Oda Nobunaga of Japan in 10th place.

Konbaung once again faces a declaration of war from the Vikings, and once again, Alaungpaya has better tech. But will that be enough to hold off the horde?

Venezuela decides it's high time to get rid of Maurya and declares war on Ashoka again.

Rapa Nui joins the war against Konbaung! This is really bad news for Alaungpaya.

Time for the turn 400 stats! Or are these the very, very late turn 300 stats? Anyway, it should come as no surprise that the Vikings have the largest army. What is perhaps more shocking is that Venezuela's military is almost as large.

Rapa Nui has developed a science lead of two techs—enough to mean something, but not that much really.

And of course the Vikings are by far the #1 in production. Konbaung is still second despite taking a serious beating in various wars.

Speaking of which, the Vikings have captured Inwa.

And Venezuela takes Ujjain, eliminating Ashoka of Maurya in 9th place.

As if Alaungpaya wasn't in deep enough shit, Songhai joins the war against Konbaung.

Alaungpaya makes peace with the Vikings and hands over Mandalay, leaving the last three disjointed cities for Songhai and Rapa Nui.

Or maybe just for Songhai, because Hotu Matua is now faced with a devastating DOW from the Vikings!

Krakow falls as Viking units swarm around Arges!

Nevertheless, Rapa Nui is able to take Amarapura from under Askia's nose.

Arges falls. Ragnar is facing very little resistance here.

Jaxartes is captured, putting the Vikings into contention with Hotu Matua's navy, which is still fairly strong.

Scratch that, Rapa Nui is fucked. Hanga Roa has fallen!

Hanga Piko also falls, and it appears that Leon has joined the war too.

Songhai takes Shwebo! Only one Konbuang city remains. Is Askia about to get his first elimination of the tournament?

The Vikings take Mataveri, kicking Rapa Nui of the mainland. Nevertheless, a few ships continue to harass the coast.

And Songhai takes Edo, eliminating Alaungpaya of Konbaung in 8th place. Although this is is Songhai's first kill in this mark, Askia was also in Mk. 1 (the only repeat civ so far), and I can't recall if he eliminated anyone in that game.

In a bold move, Songhai declares war on Venezuela! Can Askia undo the travesty that is Sarnath?

Out of nowhere, the Shoshone capture Amarapura from Rapa Nui. Interesting.

But before Songhai can even consider capturing Sarnath, the Vikings declare war! Askia is in serious trouble!

Shwebo quickly falls. There's very little that Songhai can do.

Edo and Jenne are both captured.

But hey, at least Askia captured Sarnath.

But Venezuela retakes it and makes peace with Songhai, receiving Tomboutcou as well.

The Vikings capture Gao, and the true value of the Venezuelan peace treaty is shown. Now Ragnar can't reach Pataliputra!

Askia proceeds to capitalize on a DOW by the Shoshone and takes Amarapura.

Oh shit, it's happening! Venezuela declares war on the Shoshone! This will be brutal.

Nepal joins in, sensing a potential opening in Pocatello's distraction.

But first, it's time for the turn 500 stats. The Vikings now have almost twice as many soldiers as anyone else.

Leon, the Shoshone, and Venezuela are tied for the lead in tech. The Vikings trail by three.

But Ragnar doesn't need tech when he has more production than everyone else put together.

Venezuela seems to be making a genuine effort to unite the western continent, taking Bauang and Moson Kahni in a single turn.

Nepal, for its part, snags Xinqing.

Te Moak falls. The Shoshone are just falling apart.

Ragnar is not okay with having a western civ on the eastern subcontinent. Venezuela's colonies must go.

Hugo Chavez barely cares as he continues to eat through the Shoshone, taking Córdoba.

Meanwhile, Ragnar captures Tombouctou.

And Venezuela takes Edinburgh, eliminating Pocatello of the Shoshone in 7th place.

And Sarnath also falls, kicking Venezuela out of the East.

In a surprise turn of events, Songhai captures Aral, eliminating Hotu Matua of Rapa Nui in 6th place.

Hugo Chavez strikes back with a crack force of submarines and ironclads, taking Jenne.

But Ragnar manages to sink most of the attacking navy, retaking Jenne in the process.

Turn 600 rolls around, so we have a few more stats. The Vikings obviously still lead in military manpower, but Venezuela is not to be trifled with.

Venezuela has one more tech than the Vikings. Ragnar is catching up, slowly but surely.

And of course Ragnar's production lead is completely insurmountable.

That production goes to a good cause: international harmony through sport!

Nevermind that Ragnar has been spending the lives of his citizens to capture this worthless city.

Venezuela and Leon team up to take down another major power in the west: Nepal.

Nepal starts off strong, taking Tokyo from Leon.

Hugo Chavez then swoops in and takes it for himself.

But Venezuela is still at war with the Vikings, so Ragnar captures the city.

Nepal eventually regains Tokyo and takes Córdoba as well.

Leon takes Córdoba from Nepal, which Hugo Chavez can't be happy about.

Leon also takes Lalitpur...

...And receives Xinqing in the peace treaty, leaving the rest of the job to Venezuela.

Chavez advances with a wave of his unique tanks, taking Tulaytulah.

Alfonso decides to go for the only other civ he can really take on: Songhai.

Needless to say, Aral doesn't last long.

Hugo Chavez manages to take Kathmandu, but not without nuking it first.

Leon also takes Amarapura, once again reducing Songhai to one city.

And Venezuela takes Pokhara, eliminating Prithvi Narayan of Nepal in 5th place.

Ragnar decides that it is time to finish off Songhai. This will truly be an epic struggle.

Aaaaaand Askia of Songhai is eliminated in 4th place.

Hugo Chavez begins the final phase of his Conquest of the West™: an invasion of Leon!

The poorly defended exclave of Córdoba quickly falls.

Glasgow and Astorga soon follow, while the Vikings take the opportunity to join the war against Leon.

Amarapura falls immediately, and Aral is in trouble.

Aral falls, but Leon has a surprisingly large navy hidden away down here.

Ragnar makes a push into Oviedo with just a few units backed with air support.

Venezuela takes Xinqing. This honestly took way too long.

The Vikings take Leon and Satsuma, then Venezuela captures Prague, eliminating Alfonso of Leon in third place.

13 turns later, Ragnar decides to end the match on his own terms and declares war on Venezuela.

Chavez lets the nukes fly immediately, but Ragnar manages to break the Venezuelan lines and takes Glasgow.

Prague, or what's left of it under the fallout, soon follows.

As does Astorga, also surrounded in fallout. Most of the cities on this slide have already been nuked.

Venezuela retakes Glasgow but loses Moson Kahni and Pokhara.

Tokyo falls as well. Everything has been bathed in nuclear hellfire.

yeah, if you thought this would be competitive, you need to get help

Edinburgh and Glasgow both fall to the Vikings.

As do Bauang and Te Moak.

Caracas flips as more things are nuked. Pretty much everything has been hit already so both sides are resorting to nuking cities that have already been nuked.

Maracaibo and Dungun are captured...

Caracas, Ciudad Guayana, and Maracay fall...

And Barquisimeto, Valencia, and Córdoba...

Tulaytulah is captured while Lalitpur is nuked off the map...

And with the fall of Kathmandu, Venezuela is eliminated and Ragnar Lothbrok of the Vikings has won! He has proved that the eastern continent is capable of producing a winner after all.

The score now stands as follows:



Sulu: 1.5

Venezuela: 1

The Vikings: 1

Leon: 1

Benin: 0.5



Thanks for reading, despite the somewhat irregular schedule recently, and I'll have more at some point soon!