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New research shows that vegetables and other plants “scream blue murder” as they are cooked or eaten. Although inaudible to the human ear, a special listening device placed on various vegetables turned the making of a simple salad into a “holocaust of horror”.

In a study on carrots, scientists found that carrots did not scream in a basket at the supermarket, or when placed into the salad shelf of a fridge. But according to researchers:

“The screaming began when the carrot was placed on a chopping board and peeled with a knife. And then all of the vegetables started screaming. It was like the front row of a One Direction concert. Disturbing stuff.

Said the scientist, who has since given up all fruits and vegetables, apart from ones he can sneak up on and quickly throw into boiling water “for a more humane death”.

“At least animals are dead when you eat them,” he added, shuddering.