Taken from Reformation Instagram

After many anticipated social media posts about the Ref team wanting to “touch our feet” we are finally graced with the presence of their all-too-expensive ‘eco-friendly’ shoes and, oh my god…..what? Sorry, I meant what the fuck?

The collection release leaves me with a few questions:

Are these supposed to be shoes? How many people had to approve this? Where are the shoes? How many models asked “Are these supposed to fit?” Did Reformation only make shoes for people with 4 toes on each foot??

Surely Reformation knew the size of a foot before investing money into this collection, right? Let’s look at the details.

Taken from Reformation Instagram

Ugh, this poor model and her super slender toes falling off the sides of these sandals. If only there was a sandal that fit!

Taken from Reformation.com

How about this one? Nope.

Taken from Reformation.com

Internal thoughts: “Keep toe on shoe, keep toe on shoe, keep toe on sh- FUCK”

It gets even better. As if these shoes weren’t already minimalist enough, Reformation is gracious enough to offer a few options.

$128 shoes for those who want the barely-there option:

Taken from Reformation.com

And even better, $158 shoes for those who basically want to take dental floss and wrap it around their ankles.

Taken from Reformation.com

Taken from Reformation.com

Dear god, Reformation why? You had so much potential. I’m sorry, but I won’t be letting you touch my feet this time. Don’t @ me.