A gesture of love

Register the name change for real

Overcoming the ‘joru ka ghulam’ tag

Legalising the trend?

Women have the last word

One of the most high-profile weddings of the year, actress Sonam Kapoor ’s marriage with Delhi-based entrepreneur Anand Ahuja , was in the news for more reasons than one. Sonam went on to add Ahuja to her name, however, what followed next was unexpected — husband Anand added his wife’s initial ‘S’ as his middle name. Needless to say, the unorthodox move garnered mixed reactions; while some have welcomed it, others are dismissing it as a fad. In an interview to BT, Sonam had shared that the plan to change their names was not impromptu; it was a well-thought-out decision. “People didn’t know, but I was engaged for a year and we have thought this through. Why should I explain my choices?” she said.Our discussion with men across various walks of life gave us some interesting insights. So, are the winds of change at play? Let’s find out... Much before entrepreneur Anand Ahuja added his wife, actress Sonam Kapoor’s name to his own, some men in the city have already taken that step and all for the same reason.Writer Sagar Gupta decided to gift something special to his wife Akansha on their first wedding anniversary, last year. “Akansha was at her mother’s house that day, as she was pregnant at the time. I was quite keen to gift her something special, so, I added her name to mine on Facebook,” he recalls.Media professional Ishan Shilpi Verma took the step when he married two years ago. “After dating for 10 years, Shilpi and I got married two years ago. She would get irritated with all the post-marriage rituals and joke as to what I had done for her. That’s when I decided to add her name to mine on social media.”Freelance photographer Sachin Narkar however went a step further — he not only added his wife Sharvari’s name, but also his child’s name to his. “I expressed my love for her by adding her name to mine. And I did the same when our son Arush was born. Now, we both have his name along with ours — I am Sachin Sharvari Arush , while she is Sharvari Sachin Arush,” he reveals.Manish Noopur Pratap Singh Chandel, a HR professional, took on his wife’s name when she insisted on taking on his surname. “I decided to do the same and added her name to mine. That was my way of showing love and respect to the person who has come in my life and supported me.”Not everyone is convinced with this trend of men taking on their partner’s names. Some like Vishal Sinha call it superficial. “If they feel so much for their partner, then let them do it across, why just on social media? Just to get more likes and get talked about?” asks the marketing professional, adding, “If you have to make changes to your name, make it everywhere — on official documents, passports, bank papers, and change your signature, too. If women can do it across board, why can’t men?”Men or women, changing names for official purposes is a tedious task, says Ishan. “Changing the name online may look like a dikhava, but the fact is that changing it in all the documents is an ardous task,” he says, adding that if gets a chance he would change the name across all official documents too.Many of these men also get called ‘joru ka ghulam’ for adding their wives names to theirs. “If that is what they want to call me, so be it… I don’t react to them,” says Sagar.On the other hand, Manish seems to have set some kind of yardstick in his group. “When people taunt me about the name change, I just laugh it off and forget it. My family matters the most, and both my mom and mother-in-law appreciate the move. My wife’s friends nag their husbands, saying, ‘If Manish can do it ,why can’t you?’ I guess we have set some kind of relationship goal for them.”Indian men, it seems, are ready to defy the traditional mindset that dictates the fact that women should change their last name after marriage. Talking about Anand Ahuja adding Sonam Kapoor’s name to his, filmmaker Ishan Shrivedi says, “I hope one day it becomes a law for husbands to take their wives names after marriage. It’s a nice way of giving the woman in your life her due.” IT professional Srijan Shrivastav says, “It will take time for the mindset to change. There will come a time when these things will be common and perhaps, will be a collaborative decision too.”Manish, however, is keen to carry on the tradition. “We have decided that whenever we have kids, they will be known by Noopur’s maiden surname and not mine. After all, kids learn from their parents,” he says.While homemaker Akansha Sagar was surprised and impressed when her husband added her name to his, some like Sanchita Sanghi, a music teacher, is eager to meet a man who takes decisions like these. “I would love it if I meet a man who wants to add my name to his. It is not just about love and romance, it’s also about giving and getting respect. Women are expected to make so many sacrifices even in modern times, but a gesture like this makes it worthy.”