Teen Wolf S05E12: "Damnatio Memoriae"

Last week brought the premiere of MTV's The Shannara Chronicles, a very expensive-looking fantasy-horror-romance hybrid that is allegedly going to be a game-changer for the network. (I liked it!) But the main thing that occurred to me while watching it was that it didn't seem all that weird or fantastical or imaginative to me. It was those things, yes, but not to the extent that a lot of critics and fans have been claiming. And I realized that the main reason I felt like The Shannara Chronicles was only medium-amazing was because I've watched five seasons of Teen Wolf! Even though Teen Wolf has already experienced the full underrated-to-acclaimed-to-backlash cycle, for some reason people still won't give it credit for being easily one of the most audacious and imaginative shows in TV history. On the surface it's boasted an astonishing number of insane monsters, but even from a storytelling mechanics angle, its character relationships and subplots have bordered on avant-garde. SO MUCH is going on, especially now.

Take this week's episode "Damnatio Memoriae" in which we not only met a CGI creation that out-crazies anything on Shannara (or Game of Thrones for that matter), but it also reintroduced two former villains as heroes (in circumstances that could be described as truly inexplicable) before ending on one of the most hilariously absurd teasers I've seen on TV in years. Yes this show's been around long enough for people to take it for granted, but it's episodes like this that serve as a reminder of how dizzyingly, unapologetically imaginative it is. Last week's premiere may have been a tangle of cliffhanger resolutions, but "Damnatio Memoriae" pushed everything forward into a newly exciting set of storylines. Let's talk about it!

We began with Hayden and her sister just sort of enjoying a "hey I'm not dead anymore" reunion while cruising the lone empty highway in Beacon Hills. But then they came upon an abandoned utility vehicle and suddenly Hayden's sister was, without calling for backup, creeping through a dark and mysterious power station by herself. But before the slashed and dying man on the floor could fully explain that he'd been mauled by the new Big Bad, suddenly it was flashing its new manicure at her!!

YESSSSSSS. A brand-new CGI beast!! Talk about hitting me right in the nostalgia feels, this new beast took me right back to Season 1, when Peter Hale was a red-eyed cartoon sometimes. But this beast was way scarier and his CGI was better, so when it busted up onto the street a few minutes later, Hayden and a visiting Liam knew exactly what to do.

I loved when they jumped over a chasm, such a beautiful metaphor for teen uncertainty. But, uh, guys, that beast can jump over metaphors also!

Seriously, look how awesome he/she looks! It's like a giant version of Zuul from Ghostbusters! Guys, I am feeling really good about this new monster. It is apparently called the Beast of Gévaudan and I want to marry it maybe, I don't know yet, depends on chemistry.

I thought it was cute when Liam saved Hayden's life by pulling them both into a ravine and she was kinda ticked about it and took off before his spine could unbreak. Also I guess she was still mad at him for "leaving me for dead" even though she had legit died. Teen drama!

Meanwhile, Theo spent a lot of this episode getting in some good bonding time with his new pack. Here he encouraged Tracy to follow her heart and murder the hell out of her comatose father. So she did! It was just very heartwarming. I trust Theo.

I had to laugh out loud (LOL) when we got zero follow-up about what happened after Deputy Parrish turned into a hell beast and melted the gate at Eichen House. That was last week's big cliffhanger! Did Deputy Parrish become friends with Theo? Does he trust Theo? Are they gonna spot each other at the gym? Did they kiss a little? Who can say! But here was Scott and Parrish sort of teaming up to investigate the gross slime that the Beast had left on the floor of the power station.

But between Scott's fruitless team-up with Parrish and also his total inability to make a crazy-person yarn flowchart of clues, it was clear he REALLY needed more Stiles in his life. But they had almost brawled last week for some reason! Could they ever be friends again? Stay tuned, everybody.

I liked when Mr. Argent opened his safe and inside was a snapdragon (?) with a grow-light. Like, did have to constantly open the safe and mist his flower on a daily basis? And if so, did he have to Windex those mirrors every day (due to misting backsplash)? Werewolf hunters are hilarious sometimes.

As fast and furious as a lot of this episode was (and Teen Wolf is in general), it's notable that it took the time for this lengthy, beautifully written scene between Stiles and his dad about the nature of guilt, growth, and self-forgiveness.

Obviously we were in agreement with Sheriff Stilinski that Stiles had quite clearly committed an act of self-defense, but this was the first time we heard Stiles fully explicate why he felt so horrible about murdering Donovan. In his heart he'd wanted to murder Donovan anyway, so when it accidentally happened Stiles felt like it had been pre-meditated. Also, he'd felt like he'd given up the last remaining vestige of innocence he'd had left. Those are some heady concepts and I appreciated that Teen Wolf took the time to explore them. And yes, it was powerful when Stiles's dad told him that he'd "burn the sheriff's department to the ground" in order to protect his son, but I felt like it was even more powerful when he encouraged Stiles to soothe his own heart by saving lives. He'd never be able to un-commit murder, but he could at least remind himself that he's a good person capable of good things. Honestly, just a great moment for both of these characters.

Speaking of great moments, Theo was waiting in the alley behind the bisexual nightclub and when one of his chimeras came out complaining about how he couldn't get high anymore due to monster metabolism, Theo told him to shock himself with a car battery instead.

THIS SHOW! (Also: purple eyes!)





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