OTTAWA — Sources confirmed yesterday that all 53 employees and managers in a Public Works and Government Services program are on some sort of leave.

For the past three months, not a soul has occupied the vacant Ottawa office that is responsible for the administration of procurement of various logistical support equipment for three other federal departments. Members in HR would have replaced many of the positions, but they too, are on leave.

Evelyne Charlie in policy has been on maternity leave for the past six months and won’t return for another eight while Marcelle Chomet in Finance has taken an education leave to learn about the new electronic leave system.

Diane Skwerks, one of the managers of the program, was not available for comment as she was away on second language training and communications officer Apwinder Grewal was not returning calls since he is on leave for the sake of leave.

Nine employees have already quit, but for some reason are still being paid, which somehow counts as leave. Meanwhile, program officer Marie Savant has taken a leave from her leave and has fallen into an Inception-like state where she is currently about five leaves away from entering back into reality.

Despite the absences, the program has never been more productive.