In the English language, a certain type of baked chocolate dessert is known as a “brownie.” This is very problematic, of course, because a lot of people have brown skin. If you say the word “brownie” out loud, you might hurt the feelings of a person with brown skin. And that’s bad. That’s why we have the police.

Emma Platoff, Philly.com:

On June 16, police were called to an unlikely scene: an end-of-the-year class party at the William P. Tatem Elementary School in Collingswood.

A third grader had made a comment about the brownies being served to the class. After another student exclaimed that the remark was “racist,” the school called the Collingswood Police Department, according to the mother of the boy who made the comment.

The police officer spoke to the student, who is 9, said the boy’s mother, Stacy dos Santos, and local authorities…

“I’m not comfortable with the administration [at Tatem]. I don’t trust them and neither does my child,” she said. “He was intimidated, obviously. There was a police officer with a gun in the holster talking to my son, saying, ‘Tell me what you said.’ He didn’t have anybody on his side.”

Well, that’s exactly what the mother of a criminal would say, isn’t it?

“Dos Santos,” huh? Sounds like a white Hispanic to me.

The William P. Tatem Elementary School and the Collingswood, NJ Police Department are to be commended for their rapid response to this blatant criminal act. If we allow 9-year-olds to use the word “brownies” just because they’re eating a food item colloquially known as “brownies,” what’s next? The return of segregation? The reinstatement of slavery? It’s as if all these evil white people have already forgotten about Trayvon.

We must remain ever-vigilant against the Zimmermanification of America. Keep your children in line, white folks, or the cops will.

#BrownieLivesMatter.

(Hat tip: Lachlan Markay)