Why Single Men Can't Go To Bangkok

Page 1 of 2

You're back from a dream vacation in Thailand. Refreshed, recharged and open to a whole new world of possibilities in life. You explored the lush jungles, swam in the crystal blue waters, discovered one of the world's most varied and delectable cuisines — basically, enjoyed everything the wonderful country had to offer a single, young traveler.

Unfortunately, despite your best intentions, your buddies are going to make certain assumptions about your trip. No matter how loudly you protest, they'll assume you went and got your whistle wet by paying a different woman for sex every day of your trip. That the only lush jungles you conquered were hidden in the tight pants of a massage girl. They'll make jokes at your expense, not to mention at the expense of the nation you just visited.

You now face the inevitable assumption that you went to Bangkok to either find sex or to find love. Both of these assumptions will ruin your chances with the opposite sex forever. We're going to give you a primer on what you're going to have to defend yourself against — the accusations of being a pathetic, desperate, misogynistic sleaze. In the end, you may agree with us that if this is what a single man has to face upon returning home, it's not worth it. Single men can't go to Bangkok by themselves.



Assumption 1: You went to Bangkok for sex

Sure, a guy could get desperate once and pay for a quick "one and done," but your friends now think that you went to great lengths to pay for sex: booking a flight, hotel and taking time off from work. The logical conclusion is that you have basically given up trying to get sex on your own. It's also a strong indication that there is probably something wrong with your game, but you probably don't really care because this is just much easier.

The trip also doesn't say much for your moral compass and is a major reason why single men can't go to Bangkok. It might be time to hand over those Boy Scout badges and the Match.com profile titled "You and your mom will love me." Your friends will think you were willing to travel across the globe to take part in a semi-illegal activity with a woman (you hope) who might have no better opportunities in life but to have sex with a hundred guys like you, day after day. People will assume you need sex so kinky, no self-respecting American whore would agree to serve you (now that is kinky).

From here, people will probably also jump to some unflattering conclusions about your opinion of women in general. Now there's a slippery slope you don't want to find yourself on. They will think that you have no problem demeaning women, that maybe, deep down, you really don't even like women. That would make sense considering some of the partners people will assume you picked on your exotic romp (i.e., she had a gorgeous face that accentuated her Adam's apple...).

There are a few more reasons why single men can't go to Bangkok coming right up...