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Hey science, you better watch your back: a group of Christian fundamentalists called “Christians Against Dinosaurs” are coming in hot with some facts about those worthless rocks you call dinosaur fossils.

In a video posted on the YouTube account of Christians Against Dinosaurs, or CAD, a clever mother lets paleontologists know they can’t pull the wool over her eyes. She argues that scientists simply manipulate old rocks into bone-like shapes, then lie through their teeth by calling them dinosaur fossils:

“So, you have a rock that’s [six-inches long], and you hand it to a paleontologist, who chips away at it until you have something looking like a bone, and that is a fossil.”

If that weren’t enough to convince us that we’ve been had, she dumps some rocks out onto the table in front of her to provide a visual:

“If you’re a paleontologist and you want to keep your job, you turn that [rock] into a brachiosaurus skull.”

The group has uploaded numerous YouTube videos dating back several months and also created a Facebook page with close to 6,500 members, but the primary means for bringing awareness to their cause is posting on a popular online parenting forum called Mumsnet.com. Various members posted comments attempting to expose dinosaurs as prehistoric posers, and all of them skew more towards unintentional humor than valid evidence.

Below is a few choice arguments made by CAD members, and each is followed by a short analysis. (Note: the analyses are satirical and do not reflect the actual opinions of Liberal America or myself.) However, one should not judge a book by its cover – even if that cover borders on insanity – so decide for yourself:

“Aside from the educational aspect, dinosaurs are a very bad example for children. At my children’s school, several children were left in tears after one of their classmates (who had evidently been exposed to dinosaurs), became bestially-minded and ran around the classroom roaring and pretending to be a dinosaur. Then he bit three children on the face.”

Fair point from this CAD member. If we want to keep our society intact, we can’t continue teaching children about secular history or science or any of that dangerous stuff. An endorsement of teaching kids about dinosaurs is also an endorsement of the child-on-child violence sure to follow. According to CAD they’re not mutually exclusive, and do we really want that type of blood on our hands?

“Recently my sister foolishly gave my two youngest some dinosaur toys for Christmas. After telling her to get out of my house, I burnt the dinosaurs. My children were delighted because they know dinosaurs are evil. I am fortunate my family have been very supportive, and have disowned my children’s former aunt.”

Pretty aggressive response, no? However, desperate times call for desperate measures. While some parents don’t allow their children to play violent video games or run around with toy guns, CAD parents don’t allow their children to play with toy dinosaurs because they’re evil. Although in fairness to the aunt, maybe warn her that she’s entering a dino-free zone before you light her gifts on fire and kick her out of your home/lives forever.

“I’m really concerned about dinosaurs and I think something needs to be done. The science behind them is pretty flimsy, and I for one do not want my children being taught lies. Did you know that nobody had even heard of dinosaurs before the 1800’s, when they were invented by curio-hungry Victorians?”

Ah, the coup de gr?ce to dinosaurs! If you’re a scientist, how do you come back from that? Don’t tell CAD about all those dinosaur fossils proven by radiometric dating to be hundreds of millions of years old, especially when its the same technology used to also determine Earth is hundreds of millions of years old. The Bible clearly tells us it’s only been around for 7,500-10,000 years, so take that science. Talk about two birds with one divine stone, am I right?

After 22 years I’ve learned there’s only three guarantees in life: death, taxes, and Christian fundamentalist theories that are always good for a laugh. Never change fundies, never change.