My dude Smitty,

First off, coming to you as a lifelong Cowboys fan we need to set aside our differences for the betterment of your blogs. Now to the juice. As you just blogged, Demarco got married this weekend. His wedding was at the 4 Seasons down in Dallas. How do I know this you ask? Well a buddy of mine also had his reception at the 4 Seasons, and I decided to make it my mission to crash Demarco’s wedding.

There were rumors flying that Demarco’s reception was during the same time as our buddies, which was more than enough to peak my curiosity. I made friends with one of our bartenders who told me Demarco’s reception was down in the Golfers Lounge, and gave me perfect directions on how to walk out there. An hour or so goes by, and I’ve finally gotten enough liquid courage to give it a go. My girlfriend and I walk down there and get up to the tent where it’s all going down. We get in the foyer and there is no one in there, so we just walked right on into the main room with everyone. As were walking in, one of the security ladies asks me if I belonged there and not really having any backstory I just blurt out “Uhh yeah.” For God knows what reason, the woman thought she recognized my girlfriend or thought she belonged there, because the second the security saw my girlfriend she just goes “Oh I’m so sorry I didn’t realize you two were together, go right on in.” Fuck yeah. The second we walk in, we were greeted by Sammy B up at the bar. My girlfriend was in awe chatting with him, while I was jizzing myself spotting a different Cowboy every minute. We chilled by the bar for a while, I talked with Jermaine Gresham who kept calling me John Mayer and who I thought was Calvin Johnson until I wised up the next morning. I saw Romo and Jason Garrett chilling next to each other, and was just waiting for one of them to hit the bar so I could chat them up but they never did. We got there right as everyone was eating, so besides the people at the bar, everyone was sitting down at their respected tables. My girlfriend and I were just sitting in the back on these couches, not 5 yards from the Bride and Grooms table. After a while, either Demarco or his wife realized we didn’t belong so Demarco B-lined right for us. He straight up asked us “How do ya’ll know me and my wife?” We both actually went to OU and obviously followed his career there, so I just told him we were long time fans starting back in his OU days and as a Cowboys fan I was sad to see him go. He starts cracking up, turns to the crowd (for some reason the band wasn’t even playing then, so it was relatively quiet) and just yells “Hey everybody I got real life wedding crashers at my wedding! Can you believe it, at my wedding!” He keeps laughing, tells us were cool, and just goes and sits back down. We stayed for another 10 minutes or so, until some security lady said it was probably time for us to go.

-Drake

Well, we’ve found him. We’ve found the one and only Cowboys fan and person who starts off an email with “My Dude” that I actually respect. What a great fucking story all around. Gotta give credit to the balls on this guy and his GF to waltz into a superstar NFL player’s wedding like it ain’t no thang but for Demarco and everyone there for being so chill about the crashing. Good vibes all around, even if the marriage was in enemy territory.

Tony Romo double fisting White Z is the definition of a Goofy Cracker. Respect.

Jerry told Jason Garret to sit down not only during the entire wedding but when he pees.

Hilarious Jermaine Gresham kept referring to our emailer as John Mayer. Even more funny our emailer somehow thought Jermaine Gresham was Calvin Johnson. Really?

Demarco looks THRILLED the wedding crashers are sniping pics of him and his daughter on the most important day of his life. Might as well have said “Smile, Spray Tan!” to his face.

And finally we have Sam Bradford standing awkwardly still on the dance floor. A wise play. Those knees are one Electric Slide away from vaporizing into the night.