If by “all” you mean “a bunch of crap we already knew.” And by “explains” you mean “drearily monologues for an entire episode.”

We did learn one new thing — apparently, FauxLuke has been waiting for an opportunity to grab real Luke for years. Not sure what was stopping him from stepping in all those other times Luke’s dropped off the map, but okay.

Of course, FauxLuke also claims to have been studying Luke’s life all that time too… but somehow missed details like Luke calling Tracy “Spanky” or the fact that the Outback has been gone for a decade. Basically, FauxLuke is terrible at his job.

(And don’t get me started on his gleeful taunting about having sex with her while she thinks he’s really Luke. I have zero faith in this show’s ability to deal with the magnitude of that violation when Tracy finally learns the truth, and I’m already irritated in advance by the way they’ll probably gloss right over what amounts to at least several months of rape.)

Meanwhile, everything is horrible with Julian and Alexis, and effing Ric of all people is going to come out of this like a martyred victim and just shoot me now. Seriously.

On the plus side, we also got to hear Sonny call a woman whore because she might be his fifth baby mama! I certainly never get tired of listening to Sonny judge other people’s lack of sexual control, that’s for sure!

(The only reason I’m not screaming right now is the faint hope that this might actually be Morgan’s baby. I can’t believe that sentence came out of my brain either, but there it is: I really hope that Morgan’s stupid hair genes are about to be passed onto the world.)