Do you have one of these?

It’s important for us to be on the same page. Lesbians are known for our androgynous aesthetic, but like all styles, lesbian hair cuts evolve with time and taste. To clarify current (and past) trends, I’ve assembled this lesbian hair cut guide. Life’s too short to stick with the same boring crop, so you should try out one of these chic, short styles. Unless you know short hair doesn’t look good on you. In that case, please do not try one of these styles, because we have to look at you. As I tell my girlfriend when she lets her blonde pixie cut grow out, “That’s not being a team player.”

I consulted Irene, a coveted LA hairdresser with a long list of queer clients, for insight into the hair styles her lesbian clients ask for most. Here’s a comprehensive and highly subjective guide of lesbian haircuts.

The Mullet

Style: The modern mullet is a swept-behind-the-ears, choppy version of the party/business appropriate ’80s sensation that evokes Bowie, not Billy Ray. Flexible length and optional bangs make this bold style casual and customizable.

Muse: Yolandi Visser of Die Antwoord, Kristen Stewart, and Tegan Quin. “Yolandi Visser made every girl gay or straight want a bowl cut with a mullet. She changed the mullet game with her version. PRAISE HER!” Irene exclaims. Yolandi Visser and Tegan Quin have the same face. That’s what I learned today after perusing pictures of mullets. If you too have an angular face, strong jawline, and boyish frame, the mullet would probably look weirdly sexy on you.

The Michael Pitt

via HBO

Style: This “classic Vidal Sasson shape, the Facon, is a severe disconnection hair cut,” Irene explains. Also known as the Jimmy or the Darmody, the Michael Pitt is shorter through the sides, clippered all the way up, and left with length on top.

Muse: Michael Pitt, Miley Cyrus. Michael Pitt and Miley Cyrus have the same haircut.