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NEWTOWN, OH — A local woman is in dire straits again five months after surviving a near-fatal car accident because the blood she received from her local blood bank has been repossessed for nonpayment.

Maria Chavez, 34, a local bricklayer, was involved in a head-on collision in September and required nearly three units of hemoglobin, offered by Cleveland Blood Bank & Trust, to save her. “I don’t have insurance, so they told me I could have the blood at 18% APR. I figured I could pay it back with the blood my heart naturally produces, but it turns out I just couldn’t pump it out fast enough without passing out.”

Ms. Chavez says that collections agents hounded her with calls and threatened that if she didn’t payback the blood and platelets that she owed then she would be on the hook for some of her organs as well. Eventually, Ms. Chavez was able to reach an agreement with her lenders, forfeiting 500ml of blood every three days for a month, plus all of her plasma, to cover the interest and collections fees.

When reached for comment, a spokes person at Cleveland BB&T justified the repossession. “Maria Chavez has O-negative blood; that type doesn’t come cheap. Every individual we lend blood to is made aware of our competitive market prices and are certainly free not to receive it if they cannot repay it responsibly.”

Ms. Chavez, however, is still unhappy about the ordeal, “They bled me completely dry.”

“They wouldn’t even give me the cookies that volunteer donors get. I swear, these banks are run by fucking vampires.”