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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Dorian lashes Florida's coast | Aerial footage of devastation in Bahamas | Fifth Texas Republican to retire | Pence office now says hotel stay wasn't Trump's idea | Watchdog details trauma of separated children | 10 counties that will decide 2020 | Dems struggle to find right swing-state candidate | YouTube hit with record $170M fine over kids' privacy | Washingtonian's 100 best restaurants

NEWS THIS MORNING

Not the best optics, guys:

Google has agreed to pay $170 million in fines over charges that YouTube made millions of dollars from violating children's privacy laws. http://bit.ly/30UdJgd

Details: "The fine is by far the largest ever imposed on a website for violations of the 1998 Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA), which requires companies to obtain parental consent before collecting data on children under the age of 13."

Part of the deal: "YouTube will also have to require content creators uploading videos to designate whether they're intended for children."

By the way: "Last week, the site announced that it was launching a separate site for children's content."

It's already Wednesday! I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

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New report on the trauma of separated children:

Migrant children separated from their parents on the U.S.-Mexico border have suffered more several mental trauma than children who have not been separated, according to a report by the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) inspector general. http://bit.ly/2ZA8u83

What those children experienced: They “exhibited more fear, feelings of abandonment, and post-traumatic stress,” according to the report.

Read the report: http://bit.ly/2ZIHJ15

LATEST WITH HURRICANE DORIAN

Dorian is heading up the East Coast:

Via The Weather Channel, "Hurricane Dorian is lashing the northeast coast of Florida and will soon begin its siege of storm surge flooding, high winds and flooding rain from Georgia to South Carolina, North Carolina and southeast Virginia." Dorian's latest path: https://wxch.nl/2ZKPVxQ

Ugh, this is so sad -- Here is aerial footage of the devastation in the Bahamas: http://bit.ly/2ZKOQWO

I'm sorry, WHAT?: Via WPBF-TV in Florida, here's a man taking his monkey out for a quick stroll before the storm. Yes, you read that right. Watch: http://bit.ly/2ZADIMc

The storm surges on the East Coast: Via The National Hurricane Center, here are what the storm surges look like: http://bit.ly/2ZHpNUv

Dorian isn't the only named storm right now: Fernand and Gabrielle are also in the Atlantic. Keep in mind: "During 2013-2015, there were 0 occurrences of 3+ storms simultaneously." Radar image from meteorologist Philip Klotzbach: http://bit.ly/2ZFcDY3

IN CONGRESS

Let's blow this popsicle stand:

Republican Rep. Bill Flores William (Bill) Hose FloresPatient Protection Pledge offers price transparency Texas GOP lawmaker calls for 'carbon neutral' but 'energy dominant' future OVERNIGHT ENERGY: Biden calls climate change one of America's four major crises | National parks chief says coronavirus staff shortages shouldn't prevent access | Trump hits California officials over wildfires MORE (Texas) announced this morning that he will not seek reelection for a sixth term in Congress. http://bit.ly/2ZGGPCo

Why this is especially newsy: Flores is the fifth (!) Texas Republican who is retiring from Congress next year.

What about his seat?: Republicans will likely hold on to this Texas seat. http://bit.ly/2ZGGPCo

IN THE WHITE HOUSE

Why China is giving Trump a headache:

Via The Hill's Morgan Chalfant, "President Trump Donald John TrumpFederal prosecutor speaks out, says Barr 'has brought shame' on Justice Dept. Former Pence aide: White House staffers discussed Trump refusing to leave office Progressive group buys domain name of Trump's No. 1 Supreme Court pick MORE is facing an acute challenge with China that could define his first term and directly impact his chances for reelection. Trump has made toughening up against China a key prong of his administration's work. But a trade deal with Beijing has eluded him, with both sides instead ratcheting up tariffs on one another in an extended back-and-forth." http://bit.ly/30YxuDo

Jk, jk:

Vice President Pence's office is now saying it was not President Trump's idea to stay at his resort in Doonbeg, Ireland, roughly 180 miles away from the meetings in Ireland Pence is attending. http://bit.ly/2ZFl9GJ

From Pence's office: "Because of some misreporting, we want to clarify that the decision to stay at Trump National in Doonbeg, Ireland was solely a decision by the Office of the Vice President and was based on the requirement to find accommodations near the Vice President's ancestral hometown that could satisfy official meetings on both coasts of the Emerald Isle."

Why this is newsy: Earlier on Tuesday, Pence's chief of staff, Marc Short, told reporters that Trump suggested that Pence stay on his property.

Why Pence's office says he wanted to stay in Doonbeg: Because of the proximity to his great grandmother's home before she emigrated to the United States.

The full back and forth: http://bit.ly/2ZFl9GJ

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

What to watch -- these 10 counties will decide whether Trump will get a second term:

The Hill's Reid Wilson interviewed two dozen strategists, political scientists and observers and pulled together a list of the 10 counties that will determine the 2020 presidential election.

Keep in mind: About 77,000 votes in three Midwestern battlegrounds decided the 2016 presidential election.

The list of 10 counties, with the reasons for each: http://bit.ly/2ZHom8z

^ Now which candidate can pull in these swing districts?:

Via The Hill's Niall Stanage, Democrats are struggling to find a candidate who will perform well in swing states. http://bit.ly/30WoAGa

Why Democrats are worried: "National polls show most of the front-line Democratic candidates defeating Trump in hypothetical head-to-head match-ups. But those are not surveys of Pennsylvania, Michigan or Wisconsin, where Clinton's losses have haunted Democrats."

Joe Biden Joe BidenFormer Pence aide: White House staffers discussed Trump refusing to leave office Progressive group buys domain name of Trump's No. 1 Supreme Court pick Bloomberg rolls out M ad buy to boost Biden in Florida MORE's argument: "Biden's argument is that he is a better cultural fit for the traditional Rust Belt states of Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin than Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) and Sen. Bernie Sanders Bernie SandersSirota reacts to report of harassment, doxing by Harris supporters Republicans not immune to the malady that hobbled Democrats The Hill's Morning Report - Sponsored by Facebook - Republicans lawmakers rebuke Trump on election MORE (I-Vt.), the two progressives he's battling at the top of the polls." Don't forget Biden's roots in Scranton, Pa.

Some think Bernie Sanders is better suited: "Several sources who spoke to The Hill noted that Sanders had also been an appealing candidate to working-class voters in his 2016 campaign, while hewing to a significantly more left-wing ideology than Biden."

NOTABLE TWEETS

Jeeeeeez:

This is just what the Grand Bahama AIRPORT has been looking like during Hurricane Dorian. pic.twitter.com/zCbX18ZDeI — Omar Jimenez (@OmarJimenez) September 3, 2019

Watch: http://bit.ly/30QQlA5

ON TAP

The House and Senate are out. President Trump is in Washington, D.C. Vice President Pence is in Iceland.

10:30 a.m. EDT: Vice President Pence participated in a roundtable discussion on U.S.-Iceland trade.

1:20 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence participates in a briefing on North Atlantic security.

11:30 a.m. EDT: President Trump received an update on Hurricane Dorian.

12:45 p.m. EDT: President Trump has lunch with Secretary of State Mike Pompeo Michael (Mike) Richard PompeoWatchdog confirms State Dept. canceled award for journalist who criticized Trump Trump's push for win with Sudan amps up pressure on Congress Putin nominated for Nobel Peace Prize MORE.

2:45 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence participates in a bilateral meeting with Iceland Prime Minister Katrín Jakobsdóttir.

3:40 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence and Karen Pence Karen Sue PenceTrump met with chants of protest as he pays respects to Ruth Bader Ginsburg How fast population growth made Arizona a swing state The Hill's 12:30 Report - Presented by Facebook - Biden, Pence elbow bump at NYC Sept. 11 ceremony MORE leave Iceland and head to London.

September 10: The Hill is hosting an event, "Leadership in Action: Bipartisanship and Young America," featuring Reps. Buddy Carter Earl (Buddy) Leroy CarterOvernight Health Care: Trump says White House will pressure governors to open schools | Administration formally moves to withdraw US from WHO | Fauci warns against 'false complacency' on COVID-19 House fires back at Trump by passing ObamaCare expansion Loeffler works to gain traction with conservatives amid Collins primary bid MORE (R-Ga.), John Curtis (R-Utah) and Debbie Dingell Deborah (Debbie) Ann DingellOn The Money: Anxious Democrats push for vote on COVID-19 aid | Pelosi, Mnuchin ready to restart talks | Weekly jobless claims increase | Senate treads close to shutdown deadline Anxious Democrats amp up pressure for vote on COVID-19 aid Races heat up for House leadership posts MORE (D-Mich.). Details: http://bit.ly/2ktNJrP

WHAT TO WATCH

2:15 p.m. EDT: President Trump announces state grants to help respond to the opioid crisis. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2ZDMysx

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Macadamia Nut Day.

This *clap* is making *clap* me hungry:

Via Washingtonian, here's a list of the 100 best restaurants in Washington, D.C: http://bit.ly/30QKSJz

And because you made it this far, here's a raccoon who does NOT want to share: http://bit.ly/30Uck9r