Since moving to Coweta six years ago, Alex King says the community has been extremely accepting of his family. From left are King, stepson Jacob and wife Lyn.

Until recently, gender has remained a black and white issue in American culture – girl or boy, man or woman, Column A or Column B.



But a tiny demographic recently has been drawn sharply into focus, skyrocketing to the top of news feeds, social media and political debates over a basic human need: Going to the bathroom.

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Alex King of Grantville is a transgender person who has watched as the bathroom controversy overtake the national conversation, and he says it’s much ado about nothing.

“I just wish people could see how ridiculous this whole thing is,” he said. “Let people use the restroom and be comfortable in their own skin. Stop spending so much time being so judgmental."

The term “transgender” usually applies to a person who doesn't fit within society's standards of how a woman or a man is supposed to look or act. The term often is used to describe someone who was born female or male but later realizes that label doesn't accurately reflect who they feel they are inside.

According to GLADD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation), transgender identity is not dependent upon medical procedures. In the midst of the Great Bathroom Debate, this statement in particular seems to be at the core of the issue.

While many parents and lawmakers say genitalia defines where one uses the restroom, opponents say genitalia has nothing to do with it.

According to a study published by the American Census Bureau a year ago, an estimated 0.3 percent of people in the United States – around 700,000 – self-identify as other than their birth genders. Some experts argue the number may be higher, as transgender persons typically are a private as well as a small group.

With the subject in the forefront of the country’s consciousness, King said he believes most transexuals would prefer to avoid the spotlight entirely.

“Some are big on activism and willing to do whatever it takes, but I’ve never been that way,” he said. “I think most would rather this whole thing go away and just be allowed to use the restroom where they feel comfortable."

Statistics would seem to back up King’s assertion. More than 70 percent of transgender persons said they hide their genders or their gender transitions to avoid potential discrimination, according to a study by the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.

While King is not surprised by the negative comments popping up on social media, he said he still believes Coweta is a much more accepting environment than the one in which he was raised.

A native of Jackson County, King has spent the last six years in Coweta with his wife, Lyn, and his stepson, Jacob. Ten years ago, he began the transition from female to male.

He recalled a lot of bullying coming from that small town environment.

“As a lesbian, I didn’t get too much of it, but the gay men really took the brunt of it,” King said. “Some people assumed if you were gay, you were out to sleep with any man you could find. There was a lot of ignorance."

The majority of his abuse came from Alex’s own family. Shortly after being ostracized for coming out as a lesbian, King was kicked out of the home he shared with his grandmother.

He and his grandmother would rekindle their relationship before she passed away, but it was never the same, he said.

“I put off transitioning until she passed away,” King said. “Coming out to her was hard enough, and I didn’t want to do that again due to her poor health."

As King began his transition, he prepared the people in his life for changes.

“I slowly brought my friends into this idea that I’m not a girl,” he said. “It took a year to get to the point where everyone understood and accepted me."

The metamorphosis wasn’t entirely well-received. King said those who weren’t supportive of the decision are no longer a part of his family’s life. But he also said he understands the process can be difficult for both parties.

“I get it,” he said. “They all knew me one way. It’s not easy when you’ve known people forever. Even for me, I have friends who have transitioned and it took me a while for me to use the right name."

Six years into his transition, King reconnected with Lyn, an old friend, and the two began a romantic relationship.

“She’s known me for a very long time and has been supportive of me throughout the entire process,” King said. “I know she has my back and has pushed me to go as far as I can go.”

The couple married last year and have settled into their home in Grantville. His 9-year-old stepson considers King his stepfather.

“When we first started dating, Jacob was only 5 and never saw me as anything other than a guy,” King said. “It never occurred to him that I was transexual.”

Last year, King began taking testosterone, and the couple decided to bring Jacob into the conversation. They initially were worried about how to explain it to him, but they found Jacob already had some knowledge about the subject.

“A cousin on Lyn’s side came out as transgender and someone explained that they were living in the wrong body,” King recalled. “As they come from a super conservative, Christian background, I found that pretty impressive.”

Since then, it hasn’t really been an issue, according to King. Jacob isn’t the subject of schoolyard bullying or scrutiny, he said, and he’s a happy kid.

“When he was in first grade, the teacher made a comment – referring to me as his other mom,” King recalled. “He said ‘No, that’s my stepdad.’ He’s quick to correct people.”

As for the assertion that bathrooms would be less safe environments if transgender persons are allowed to use the ones of their choice, King is clear: It’s apples and oranges.

“This whole argument based on sexual assaults and molestation is absurd,” he said. “Abuse and molestation are criminal acts, so why would a criminal care about any law? Do you think a criminal won’t prey on someone just because they’re not allowed to go in a bathroom?

“As a woman, do you want to use the restroom with a bearded man? That’s what I don’t understand,” he added.

King said he has never been happier and has no reason to be anything but optimistic about the future, despite the current dialogue.

“It’s definitely getting easier,” he said, “having a good support system and having surrounded myself with positive people. I wouldn’t trade my life for anything.”