Phil Collins

Last month Phil Collins announced his intention to return to music following a four-year retirement. His plans include an archival campaign, world tour, and even a new studio album. However, it appears not everyone is thrilled by the news.

A petition was recently launched demanding that “Phil Collins must be stopped.” Its argument? “There is far too much suffering in the world as it is.”



As of publication, the petition has already accrued 3,000+ signatures. One signee wrote in support, “We’ve burned the rainforests, poisoned the oceans, polluted the air, thrown an orbiting ring of debris around the planet, and generated enough landfill to cover entire countries. Time to draw a line in the sand and stop the madness. Collins cannot be permitted to return to work or future generations will NEVER forgive us!!”

Another added, “We stopped King John! We stopped the plague and put out the Great Fire of London! We ridiculed and defeated Hitler and eventually ousted Thatcherl. All these great threats to humanity have been overcome, often at a great cost in inappropriate trousers and ludicrous hair, but through necessity. In this day and age we must take our lessons from history and say ‘NO!. There is no excuse for Phil Collins! We are enlightened and educated and we will not have it!” We ,must rise up and …..”she’s an easy lover, she’ll take a hold on you, believe it.’ No, No, No. The affliction is back. Run. Run while you still can. Save yourselves.”

For the pro-Collins crowd, a second petition has been launched celebrating his comeback, though it only has 304 supporters.