Host a series of international big-name DJs at Burning Man this year? Present a series of TEDx talks? Offer a series of workshops with some super-enlightened English chick with the fancy fairy wings?

Suddenly realizing that the cluster-fuck of garbage your camp left behind might jeopardize your chance to sell prime Esplanade “camp memberships” next year to hot chicks from LA who are no-fucking-way going to make it out to Robot Heart from your camp if it’s placed on C, D or even worse…..?

Good news! Extensive shoulder-rubbing with dot-com CEOs has resolved the problem for the Burning Man community that “really matters” (i.e. you).

The answer is here. It’s time to out-source your MOOPing!

“It was fun thinking about how to offer fresh gourmet vegan meals daily to our plug-n-play camp’s paying-guests and the 30 friends I decided to gift tickets to,” noted Some Important Dot Com Guy, “but it was not a lot of fun trying to figure out how to clean up after them…… so we didn’t.”

No matter! Plug and play camping where everything is laid on for you when you arrive is sooooooooo 2012.

In 2014, everything is cleaned up for you when you leave!

How?

Just call moop-n-play, a VC-incubated start-up pivoting into the plug-n-play-trashed space.

We’ll be gamifying the MOOP process! We’ll be crowd-sourcing it!

Most of all, we’ll be taking it off your hands and employing some “task rabbits” to do it for you, because that’s the Silicon Valley way.

And let’s just say we’ll be radically diversifying the BRC population when we start offering on-site maid service.

As Facebook co-founder Dustin Moskovitz recently noted, “if Mark Zuckerberg wants to fly over the playa in a helicopter, throwing grilled cheese sandwiches at peasants from a few thousand feet up, that’s not just a growth opportunity for Mark, that’s something the world should be grovelingly grateful for.

The amount of Burning Man culture that Mark can absorb and pass on after hovering over center-camp shooting sandwiches out of a t-shirt cannon is immense. Obviously he can’t be expected to clean up the melted-cheese debris, and thanks to moopnplay.com, he won’t have to….”

Next year, don’t be shitting in your fake-fur britches over the MOOP map and its implication for your future spirtitual-sustainability workshop hook-ups.

Pay someone to clean up for you.

To lock in charter-rates for your camp’s out-sourced MOOP efforts in 2014, contact moop.n.play@gmail.com today.