Ho ho ho, motherf—ker.

If you’ve read anything about “Die Hard” online in the last several years, it’s probably that the action classic starring Bruce Willis is actually a Christmas movie. The authors of a “A Die Hard Christmas: The Illustrated Holiday Classic” surely agree, as the children’s book written by comedian Doogie Horner and illustrated by JJ Harrison reframes the movie through the lens of “Twas the Night Before Christmas.”

Featuring such choice lines as “John McClane missed his wife; things just weren’t the same since Holly had moved west and changed her last name” and “A truck had pulled up, and who should disembark, but fourteen men whose intentions were dark,” the 32-page tome is an age-appropriate introduction to the film for kiddos who may be too young to hear its most famous line spoken aloud.

The book is available via Amazon starting October 17, meaning it’ll be ready in time for Christmas. Ho ho ho, motherf—ker.

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