It feels cliché to admit this, but like so many women before me, I recently found myself traveling through time after stepping through the cleft stone at Craigh na Dun in Inverness, and ending up in the strong arms of an incredibly attractive Scottish man who was not my current-day husband.

Now, here I am in a situation I swore only happened to other women, asking myself, is this really cheating if my husband wasn’t technically born yet? I mean I’m not in my own time, so it’s not like I can be with my husband and I think if he had any idea what was happening, he would want me to be happy, right?

I don’t mean to talk about him like he’s dead, because he’s very much alive, but living a few hundred years away from me right now.

I love my husband, I really do. But he is living in the future and I am in 18th century Scotland at the moment. Also, Ethan is really fucking hot. He can fight with a sword, and not in a weird, aggressively nerdy way because it is very much “of the time” here.

Last week he killed a man who was trying to kidnap me for no other reason than the fact that it’s the year 1743 and men just do that here. Joe (my husband in the future) would never do that, mostly because he would never really have to, but also it just doesn’t seem like him, you know? So when Ethan saved me it was like I just couldn’t help myself, but should I really feel guilty for something like that?

I don’t know, am I just another slutty two-timing time-traveler?

If I had known I was going to slip through the fabric of time when I went hiking to get another look at those stones back in 2016, I guess I would’ve asked Joe if we could have an open relationship while we were doing the long-time-distance thing. In that case, this technically wouldn’t be cheating.

Does the fact that we said our sacred vows in 2009 apply retroactively? I’m asking seriously. Does anybody know?

I guess if Joe founded some sort of illuminated manuscript in a research that had an image of me and Ethan embracing and he was somehow able to tell that it was definitely an illustration of me specifically, then I’d feel pretty bad about all of this. But since that’s unlikely to happen and I’m not sure I’ll ever see him again and Ethan and I are getting married tomorrow here in 1743, I really wanna say it’s not cheating.

Let’s just say If was trying to update my relationship status on Facebook in the future, it would definitely be “it’s complicated.”

You know, it’s just so hard to tell what the moral ramifications of my behavior are. I’ve just been going with the flow ever since I heard that strange buzzing sound that sent me backwards in time.

Am I a terrible wife? I don’t really have anything to go off of here aside from all those stories you hear about time-traveling adulteresses that you never imagine would actually happen to you personally. I can’t even text my friends for advice.

If I’m being honest, I wanna say it’s def not cheating. At least not when you’re transported through the stones at Beltane. Right? Right??