“If talking to my friends about Coronavirus was like talking to them about an impending tsunami” Daniel Fireside Follow Mar 12 · 3 min read

Me: Hey! Everybody! Please get to higher ground now! A tsunami is coming!

Friends: There isn’t a tsunami where I am.

Me: It is heading our way and is likely to hit where you are. Please get to higher ground!

Friends: It might not come exactly where I live. What if I moved to higher ground and then it didn’t happen?

Me: The forecast is that it will hit your entire region, and there is a very good chance that it will also hit exactly where you are standing. If you are hit, the consequences will be extremely bad. If you don’t get hit, you can move back in a little bit. Please get to higher ground!

Friends: A tsunami is just water. You can die in an inch of water.

Me: That is true. But this is millions or billions of inches of water. The tsunami just hit Italy. Please get to higher ground!

Friends: I’m a really good swimmer. I’m not worried about drowning.

Me: It is hard to swim in a tsunami. You might get hurt. We don’t want to overwhelm rescuers with people who could have gotten to higher ground but chose not to. They need to focus on the people who can’t swim. Please get to higher ground!

Friends: Trump is putting Jared Kushner and Mike Pence in charge. I’m sure everything will be fine.

Me:

Friends: Just kidding. But people are buying a lot of toilet paper. That seems like an overreaction. Toilet paper can’t stop a tsunami! Ha ha!

Me: People might have to stay on higher ground for a little while. It’s probably a good idea to have enough toilet paper. The tsunami is getting closer. Please get to higher ground!

Friends: Most people who experience a tsunami don’t die.

Me: You can reduce the number of people who die if you get to take basic measures, like getting to higher ground if you have a warning. This is a warning. Please get to higher ground!

Friends: I’m worried about the emotional trauma of my moving to higher ground. Also, a lot of businesses will lose customers if we move to higher ground.

Me: Drowning will be worse. Businesses will recover more quickly if everyone moves to higher ground now rather than after the tsunami hits. The longer you argue with me here, the less time you have to escape the tsunami. Please move to higher ground.

Friends: This one time, everyone said it would rain, so I went out of the house with an umbrella, but then it didn’t rain, and I lost my umbrella on the bus. The next time it rained, I didn’t have an umbrella!

Me: Sorry, can’t talk right now. Tsunami just hit. I’m at the shelter making soup for survivors. I’ll save you a roll of toilet paper if you make it out.