Sorry guys. Pack it up. We are apparently a figment of someone’s imagination. Or exist in a snow globe like on that show I’m too young to have watched.

Blogger Ralph Barker just wrote an article entitled “Atheist Don’t Exist-God Said So”.

I don’t know about you guys, but that’s all the evidence Ineed to know that I don’t exist.

I’ve met some agnostics before, but I’ve only met one or two people who actually claimed to be an atheist. Most people who struggle with the existence of God will simply opt to the agnostic position. The agnostic says that they just don’t know for sure whether or not God exists. When an atheist claims that God does not exist, then he or she directly denies the clear truth of Scripture. So who will we believe, God or atheists?

Usually the devoutly religious get the whole “atheism” definition wrong, but I think this is pretty accurate. I will go on record denying the fact that Biblical scripture is true.

*Whew* That feels good to get off my chest.

He then quotes Romans 1:18-20 because when you start by establishing that atheists don’t place any weight on the Bible, the logical next step is to use the Bible to tell me why I’m wrong.

And here’s my favorite part:

It is very interesting that atheists, who deny God’s existence, spend so much time, energy, and even money fighting those who do believe. I don’t believe in ghosts or goblins, but I don’t spend any time trying to persecute those who do. Why would I?

Ralphy boy, let me tell you why you would.

Imagine, if you will, a world where 90% of Americans believe in ghosts or goblins. A world where nearly half of people get up on Sundays to go worship them. Because these people have the majority, they start to throw their weight around. Town halls start telling ghost stories before every meeting. The leaders of the GGFA (that’s Ghosts and Goblins For America) start dictating what medications get covered by your health insurance. Every hotel has a copy of Scary Stories to Tell In the Dark on the bedside table drawer. FOX News has a conniption fit because Target says “Happy All Hallows’ Eve” instead of “Halloween” (“They’re trying to take the ‘ween’ out of ‘Halloween'” they’ll say). People fear for their jobs because their boss is a devout Goblinist and they feel uncomfortable revealing their skepticism regarding the magical origins of all Goblin-kind. Heaven forbid a politician makes a speech that doesn’t end with “… and may ghosts spook you, and may ghosts spook the United States of America”.

Ralph, buddy, pal, we are not putting our time and efforts (and considerable amounts of sarcasm) into this atheist movement because we don’t believe in any gods and that makes us cranky. We do it because you guys won’t get out of our faces with it.

And I am not even going to touch that in a single article he denies our existence and then calls us out. (Who are you talking to if you don’t believe in me?)

This is how Ralph concludes his piece:

I conclude the matter this way. God said there are no atheists. I believe Him. There are no atheists.

I will conclude my article this way: (a colon should have gone there by the way, Ralph) I don’t care what your book says. I don’t believe in any gods. I exist.



