

Elephant Joke





Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

A: So they can hide in cherry trees.

Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

A: (they will say NO). Works, doesn't it?!

Q: How do you know there have been elephants in the fridge?

A: There's footprints in the butter.

Q: Why do elephants paint their ears yellow?

A: That's not paint, its butter.

Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red, blue, green, orange, yellow, and brown?

A: So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.

Q: How did the pygmie break his back?

A: He tried to carry a bag of M&Ms home from the store.



Q: Why is it dangerous to walk in the jungle between 3 and 4 in the afternoon?

A: That's when the elephants jump out of the trees.

Q: Why are pygmies so small?

A: They walked in the jungle between 3 and 4 in the afternoon.



Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?

A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.

Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?

A: Parachute him from an airplane.

Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 1 and 2 in the afternoon?

A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.



Q: Why are elephants feet shaped that way?

A: To fit on lily pads.

Q: Why isn't it safe to walk on the lily pads between 4 and 5 in the afternoon?

A: That's when the elephants are walking on the lily pads.

Q: Why are frogs such good jumpers?

A: So they can walk on the lily pads between 4 and 5 in the afternoon.



Q: How do you get two elephants in a pickup truck?

A: One in the cab, one in the back.

Q: How do you get two mice in a pickup truck?

A: You can't ... it's full of elephants.



Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?

A: From stomping out forest fires!

Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?

A: From stomping out burning ducks!



Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants running through the jungle?

A: 'Here come the elephants running through the jungle!'

Q: Why did the elephants wear sunglasses?

A: So Tarzan wouldn't recognize them.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants running through the jungle?

A: Nothing. He didn't recognize them with their sunglasses on.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of giraffes in the distance?

A: 'Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!'

Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?

A: An elephant is grey.

Q: What did Jane say when she saw a herd of elephants in the distance?

A: 'Look! A herd of plums in the distance' (Jane is color blind)



Q: Why do cub scouts run so fast in the forest at night?

A: To escape the elephants swinging through the trees.

Q: What's that yucky stuff between the elephant's toes?

A: Slow cub scouts!



Q: How can you tell if an elephant is under your bed?

A: The ceiling is very close!

Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in bed?

A: He has a big 'E' on his pajamas jacket pocket.

Q: How do you tell an elephant from a field mouse?

A: Try to pick it up, If you can't, it's either an elephant or a very overweight field mouse.

Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in the refrigerator?

A: Footprints in the Jell-O.

Q: How can you tell if there are 2 elephants in the refrigerator?

A: You can't shut the door!

Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?

1. Open door.

2. Insert elephant.

3. Close door.



Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?

1. Open door.

2. Remove elephant.

3. Insert giraffe.

4. Close door.

Q: The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the

jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?

A: The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.

Q: How do you know Tarzan is in the fridge?

A: You can hear Tarzan scream OYOYOYOIYOIYOOOOOO

Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?

A: You can't, silly. There is only one Tarzan!

Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen?

A: 2 in the front and 2 in the back

Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?

A: There's a VW parked outside it.

Q: What did the fifth elephant in the VW discover?

A: The sun roof.

Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?

A: The fridge isn't large enough to hold them all.



Q: How do you get an elephant out of the water?

A: Wet.

Q: How do you get two elephants out of the water?

A: One by one.



Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?

A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?

A: There's no such thing as yellow elephants.



Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It thought it was a game.

Q: And why did the tree fall down?

A: It thought it was an elephant.



Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?

A: So that they don't sink in the sand.

Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?

A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.



Q: What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road?

A: Deadant, Deadant, Deadant! (sung to Pink Panther tune).

Q: What did the elephant say when he saw a live ant on the road?

A: He stomped on it and then said 'Deadant, Deadant, Deadant!'.



Q: Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?

A: He didn't want to sink in the hot chocolate.

Q: How do elephants keep in touch over long distances?

A: They make trunk calls.

Q: What's red and white on the outside and gray and white on the inside?

A: Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.

Q: How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?

A: Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him 'lunch'.

Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?

A: Have you ever tried to iron one?

Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?

A: Chicken's day off.

Q: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?

A: Optimistic!

Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into the city?

A: Free Parking.

Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into work?

A: Sole use of the elevator.

Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in the bar?

A: It's bike is outside.

Q: How do you know if there are three elephants in the bar?

A: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.

Q: Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?

A: To sneak across a pool table without being seen.

Q: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Don't be stupid, elephants can't change light bulbs.

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?

A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q: How do you make a dead elephant float?

A: Well, you take 10 dead elephants, 10 tons of chocolate ice-cream, 5 tons of bananas,.....

Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink

sweatshirts?

A: They're all on the same team.

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?

A: Take away his credit card.

Q: Why do elephants have trunks?

A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.

Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?

A: Lots of room.

Q: What has two tails, two trunks and five feet?

A: An elephant with spare parts

Q: What's grey and puts out forest fires?

A: Smokey the Elephant.

Q: What happens when an elephant sits in front of you at the movies?

A: You miss most of the picture!

Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?

A: Nothing, peanuts can't talk.

Q: How do you know when an Elephant has been in the baby carriage?

A: By the footprints on the baby's forehead!

Q: What is beautiful, gray and wears glass slippers?

A: Cinderelephant.



Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

A: 6:15PM (trick question!)



Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?

A: With a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a white elephant?

A: Hold his nose until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.





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