Of all the shirtless men to wander into a woman's life, Alex Jones had to do it on a horse. This is a man, a man who could wrap a girl up in those burly arms, hold her tight, and fearlessly call Julian Assange a "Hillary buttplug."

Here, a ranking of the times Alex Jones was a shirtless wonder.

10. Conspiracy?

9. Hold me.

8. Daddy.

7. Cowboy, take me away.

6. Great form.

5. Save a horse, ride an info warrior.

4. Yes.

3. Nothing but truth, baby.

2. "The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears and through Alex Jones' hair." — Arabian proverb

1. Get you a beefcake who can also make beefcakes.

(Yeah, he's wearing a shirt, but look at all that meat.)

Sarah Rense Sarah Rense is the Associate Lifestyle Editor at Esquire, where she covers tech, food, drink, home, and more.

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