The slogan for the conference is “Opportunity”. Simple, snappy and hopefully parts of it won’t fall off the wall while the prime minister speaks. Although if Theresa May wants to send her members home in good cheer I can think of little better than a mission statement that gradually disintegrates to read “Port”.

“Opportunity” might make readers think of Hughie Green and his clap-o-meter. And in a very modern way this is what members have on their conference app. As well as revealing MPs’ mobile numbers if you were quick about it on Saturday, the app lets the rank and file give immediate feedback on ministers’ speeches. An app-o-meter for the party of apportunity, as Matt Hancock would put it. I can’t see that backfiring