Do you ever find yourself screaming “what are the chances?!” whenever anything happens in the football? Well, you’re in luck. FantasyBet are on a mission to provide an answer to that very question.

By equipping you with the clean sheet, 2+ goals and anytime goalscorer odds for Gameweek 5, you’ll never be outraged by what appear to be incredibly improbable events again.

Unless Norwich keep a clean sheet. That probably merits some mild outrage.

Bookies Blinded by Brighton

You should never look directly at the Brighton. Such is Brighton’s brightness that it can damage your retinas and, apparently, your judgement too.

The bookies have given them a 40% chance of keeping a clean sheet. It’s generous, particularly considering that the ever-prolific Ashley Barnes will be in town on Saturday.

The Seagulls have shown glimmers of a team improved under Harry Potter’s estranged Uncle, but they’ve been underwhelming since their opening weekend win against Watford. Burnley, meanwhile, have looked uncharacteristically goal-happy for their standards, scoring 5 goals in their 3 games prior to Liverpool.

Man City Excited for Day-Trip to Norwich

A kind pundit might say Norwich’s defensive woes stem from an admirable reluctance to play boring, bus-parking football. A less kind pundit might say they look leakier than an incontinent pensioner at an open bar.

I’d err somewhere in the middle. It’s clear they don’t have full control over their “accidents” at the back, but it also seems apparent that they wouldn’t have it any other way. “Parking the bus” just isn’t a phrase in Daniel Farke’s vocabulary, which meant his brief foray as a driver for National Express was always doomed to fail.

It also means Man City can expect to travel to Norwich knowing that the wall they’ll be tasked with breaking down will be about as resolute as the crumbling Norman blockade that encircles the city itself.

Goal-shy Spurs Flattered by Goalscoring Odds

In every FPL mini-league there’s always a manager near the top of the league who absolutely shouldn’t be there. Don’t worry, it isn’t you, because you’re reading this. You’ve earnt your solid start to the season. Perhaps it’s your clueless Dad or the bloke at work who insists that rugby is the superior sport.

Crystal Palace are the Premier League’s equivalent. Did you know Hodgson’s men are fourth in the table at the moment? That’s weird, isn’t it. As far as the table is currently concerned, Spurs will be happy with a point in this game.

It won’t last, of course, but 71% to score 2 or more goals does feel a little too charitable to a Spurs side who failed to score against Newcastle last time they played at home.

Captaincy Debate Resolved

FPL managers rejoice. The headache caused by the age-old Sterling vs Salah captaincy debate has been conclusively put to bed by a single percentile. Sterling’s 63% chance of scoring puts him out of site of Salah’s 62%, which is great news for everyone torn between the pair.

It doesn’t really matter that, unlike Salah, Sterling has been on international duty over the break. And we can forget about the fact that both players have European away games to worry about just days after their Gameweek 5 fixtures. Those things are irrelevant. Why? Because the bookies have said so, that’s why. Sterling all the way.

Premiums Apparently Worth the Money

Isn’t it annoying when you’re set on 2 budget strikers and a premium midfield and then the expensive forwards start justifying their price tags? I take it as a personal affront that Aguero is currently the top FPL points scorer when the man didn’t even start Gameweek 1.

Unlike last week, he and his pricey mates top the bookies anytime goalscorer odds in Gameweek 5. The Argentinian leads the line with a gameweek-high 65% likelihood of scoring against Norwich. Close behind him are the likes of Kane, Aubameyang and Firmino – all of whom are infuriatingly pricier than Teemu Pukki and Ashley Barnes.

VvD More Than Just a Pretty Face

Virgil van Dijk must be absolutely made up. With an 18% chance of scoring in Gameweek 5, he can finally count himself amongst the defensive titans of the league. Like Shane Duffy and John Lundstram.

It’s a phenomenal achievement for a defender who, not 5 years ago, was plying his trade in the Scottish Premier League.

Other defenders who the bookies are looking at include the always-threatening Lucas Digne, the aerially dominant Nathan Ake and Golden Boot candidate Craig Dawson. Tell you what: if Craig Dawson scores, I’ll give everyone who reads this a fiver. Deal? Deal.