Nigel Farage (born from the genetic mutation of a gone off sausage) is the current leader of UKIP, a party which claims not to be racist but is really popular with racists. Nigel Farage is best known for never being elected to the UK parliament, and never turning up to his job in the European parliament.

Recently he has changed his career from disappearing up his own arse and instead disappearing up Donald Trump’s arse. Farage claims to have been an integral part of the Leave campaign during Brexit, when in fact the Leave campaign thought he was too racist for the Leave campaign, so Farage was forced to be racist by himself.

His political leanings are that of a man with a head injury who screams at bins. He makes regular appearances on political talk shows as his character of “mad uniformed mince puppet”.

Nigel Farage is the political equivalent of catching the end of your penis in your trouser zip.