I am a senior woman. Recently, a “man” claiming to be transgender, who had not yet begun physical treatments, was permitted by our local Y to use the women’s locker room. There are no secure change rooms. The person they allowed in was not courteous and stared at me while I struggled out of a wet bathing suit. He was naked, had an erection and playfully asked ‘do you come here often?’ I understand that gender is no longer judged solely by genitalia, but does a brief contact with the duty manager mean that men not yet committed to gender reassignment are free to disrobe anywhere they choose?

I need to say three things.

1. Transgender women, regardless of their status regarding surgical intervention, have the absolute right to use the women’s change room. This can be a difficult matter, primarily for the trans woman involved. But you’re right; we have come to understand that gender is much more complex than whether we wear our equipment externally or internally. From a human rights perspective, a transgender woman is a woman, full stop. It’s easy to sympathize with those who are surprised to see male genitalia in a woman’s change room, but considering some of the stuff hanging loose in change rooms, it’s peanuts.

2. The fact that a person is transgender doesn’t mean they can’t also be a jerk. I don’t know, obviously, whether the person you encountered was truly trans, or merely a poseur getting his kicks; the physical evidence makes me suspect the latter. In any event, this person’s behaviour was unacceptable and, arguably, illegal. I urge you to report her (him?) to the management. People like this can’t be skulking around locker rooms, not because of gender issues, but because they have no respect for boundaries — and could be dangerous. Be very clear about the nature of your fears; you were the victim of an inappropriate sexual advance, and your concern is not about genitalia but about behaviour.

3. I don’t like Starbucks coffee; I’m a Timmy’s guy. But I do like the fact that, when I go for a date with my local barista, I find two bright, clean, accessible, non-gender-specific washrooms available for my use. We have moved into a world where old, binary understanding of gender identity has given way to a more flexible, fluid understanding of how this all works. We don’t, it turns out, fit nicely into two clear categories, male and female, any more than we fit nicely into categories like fat and skinny, musical and tone deaf, black and white, rich and poor. Humans are not computers, where the only options are “1” or “0.”

Increasingly, then, as we build or modify facilities where nakedness is the order of the day, it’s no longer good enough to provide big open areas where half of humanity go through one door, and half the other. More flexible, and discreet, facilities are appreciated not only by those whose gender may not fit traditional categories; they are welcomed by disabled folk with attendants, parents with kids, religious folk for whom nakedness is an issue, and those who, like little old me, are just a tad bashful.