A gas boycott is supposed to start tomorrow.

Not sure if you received the chain-email telling you about this, but an I'm-mad-as-hell-and-not-going-to-take-it-anymore boycott is supposed to start on May 1.

I can't recall what major gas company we're supposed to be mad at. I actually think it might be two, which probably won't be a problem for any of us. Personally, I'm ticked at all of them.

Still, as I was pumping gas into my car last week, at just under $1.30 a litre, for some bizarre reason thinking that was a deal, I didn't find myself thinking about a gas boycott.

Rather, I found my I'm-mad-as-hell-and-not-going-to-take-it-anymore anger turning toward the federal competition bureau.

Now, you may wonder why I would be angrier at the competition bureau, instead of the major oil companies. Here are a couple of stories for you, by way of explanation:

Year ago, a man named Mohamed Bassuny managed an independent gas station on Cyrville Rd. He was a constant thorn in the side of his competitors along that street, of which there were many.

Bassuny would drop his gas prices to ridiculous levels (10 cents a litre during a legendary "honk-if-you-hate-Saddam" sale.)

He would drop the price of his cigarettes too. Give media interviews, complaining about how "corrupt" the gas business was.

Some of his competitors started to phone him, to complain. Rather than apologizing, Bassuny bought a tape recorder and started taping the irate calls. Then he called me, and handed over a copy of the tapes.

On the very day that my column with the transcript of those phone calls ran in the Ottawa Sun, an investigator with the competition bureau contacted Bassuny and asked for the tapes. Bassuny complied.

Largely as a result of those tapes, the competition bureau later charged three independent gas retailers -- Seaway Gas, Mr. Gas and Suny's -- with attempted price fixing.

Mr. Gas eventually pleaded guilty to one count of attempted price fixing, and charges were dropped against the other two companies. What I best remember about that whole story, though, was this -- without Mohamed's tape recorder, there would have been no case.

It's the same story with the recent price fixing case in Kingston and Brockville. Much has been made of the competition bureau successfully getting convictions against Pioneer Gas, Mr. Gas and Canadian Tire.

Yet that case started when a gas station retailer contacted the competition bureau to complain about price fixing in the industry.

It seems, on the surface at least, to have striking similarities with what happened in Ottawa in the mid-1990s.

It seems the competition bureau is quite good at investigating price fixing and protecting consumers. As long as someone drops the evidence into their laps.

Story Number Two: Earlier this year George Jeha contacted the competition bureau, to complain about uncompetitive practices in the local petroleum industry. Jeha is the owner of an independent station on Cyrville Rd, and has been featured in a couple of my columns.

Jeha feels the majors are trying to squeeze out the independents in Ottawa, and has a rather compelling argument. Has some paperwork too.

So what did the competition bureau do? In a nutshell, they told him -- this man who actually works in the petroleum industry -- that he was wrong. Then they got him off the phone in less than 10 minutes.

They didn't send out an investigator to talk to him. Didn't even ask for a number where he could be reached.

"It was like I was wasting their time," says Jeha. "They just couldn't get rid of me quick enough."

The sad fact is the competition bureau is staffed with government bureaucrats when it should be staffed with old-time police detectives. Cops willing to leave the office, talk to people on the street, maybe even go undercover.

That female Ottawa cop who helped bust a suspected drug dealer by texting him that she had "nice (breasts)" - the competition bureau should hire her. Hire her friends. Hire anyone she likes.

As for gasoline boycotts -- they don't work. I know no one wants to hear that, but it's the truth. The petroleum companies laugh at us for even trying.

If you really want to put the fear of God into the hearts of the petroleum industry, then unleash a zealous, hard-working, innovative, passionate, consumer protection unit on their billion-dollars-in-profits-a-quarter backsides.

Wish we had one of those.

ron.corbett@sunmedia.ca