HEY FAM WHATS GOOD BUTTSANDCOCONUTS HERE WITH A HELL OF A STORY. ITS A STORY OF LOVE, LOSS, AND ALL THE INBETWEENS, AND ITS THE STORY OF MY YEARLY WGP EXPERIENCE. AND UNLIKE MY LAST ONE, THERES SOME GOOD NEWS TO BE HAD, (MORE ON THAT LATER THO). I GOTTA CRAFT UP A GOOD STORY FOR YOU FINE FOLKS, NO ONE WANTS A HAPPY STORY THE WHOLE WAY THROUGH, SOMEONES GOTTA DEMONSTRATE CONFLICT, PERSEVERANCE, FUCKING, I DONT KNOW, SOMETHING. \

CHAPTER 1: PRE-PREPERATION OF RITES

HEY SWEET YUGIOH CARD NAME SO AS UNCLE BUTTS FAITHFUL MAY HAVE SEEN IN A PREVIOUS ARTICLE, I HAD MY HEART SET ON 1 OF 4 DECKS.

LITTLE BUSTERS 2 SOUL: THE EPIC MEME THAT JUST GETS MEMIER WITH EVERY PASSING DAY. IF ITS NOT A COMMENT ABOUT “LOL 2 SOUL” ITS ABOUT HOW I SPENT LIKE $500 ON THE PIECES OF SHIT. OVERALL LITTLE BUSTERS IS SOMETHING I REALLY LIKE AND HAVE ALWAYS FELT GOOD WITH PLAYING, EVEN IF IM NEW ENOUGH TO THE 2-SOUL BUILD. HAVING PLAYED WITH SEVERAL OF THE CARDS IN OTHER DECKS, I KNOW THE DECK PRETTY WELL, AND WHAT SITUATIONS STUFF LIKE THE FINISHERS ARE GOOD IN, AND IM JUST REALLY GOOD AT SACKING DRAWING MONEY COUNTER.

THE EPIC MEME THAT JUST GETS MEMIER WITH EVERY PASSING DAY. IF ITS NOT A COMMENT ABOUT “LOL 2 SOUL” ITS ABOUT HOW I SPENT LIKE $500 ON THE PIECES OF SHIT. OVERALL LITTLE BUSTERS IS SOMETHING I REALLY LIKE AND HAVE ALWAYS FELT GOOD WITH PLAYING, EVEN IF IM NEW ENOUGH TO THE 2-SOUL BUILD. HAVING PLAYED WITH SEVERAL OF THE CARDS IN OTHER DECKS, I KNOW THE DECK PRETTY WELL, AND WHAT SITUATIONS STUFF LIKE THE FINISHERS ARE GOOD IN, AND IM JUST REALLY GOOD AT DRAWING MONEY COUNTER. MILKY HOLES DETECTIVE: YEAH THIS IS A DECK I REALLY LIKE, LIKE, REALLY LIKE, BUT I LACK A LOT OF CONFIDENCE WITH IT ULTIMATELY. IT HAS OPTIONS OUT THE ASS, SO MANY OPTIONS THAT ITS ALARMING IN FACT, AND I DIDNT REALLY HAVE THE RESOURCES TO TOTALLY TEST EVERYTHING I WANTED TO TEST. MY GREED WITH THE AZUSA/AKATSUKI TYPE ELLY CARD IS ALSO VERY HARD TO CONTAIN. EVERY TIME IM HAPPY WITH A CARD AND THINK I SHOULD LOOK AT ONE MORE ITS USUALLY A REALLY HORRIBLE IDEA BUT I SWEAR THIS TIME IT HAS TO BE DIFFERENT YOLO RIGHT??

YEAH THIS IS A DECK I REALLY LIKE, LIKE, BUT I LACK A LOT OF CONFIDENCE WITH IT ULTIMATELY. IT HAS OPTIONS OUT THE ASS, SO MANY OPTIONS THAT ITS ALARMING IN FACT, AND I DIDNT REALLY HAVE THE RESOURCES TO TOTALLY TEST EVERYTHING I WANTED TO TEST. MY GREED WITH THE AZUSA/AKATSUKI TYPE ELLY CARD IS ALSO VERY HARD TO CONTAIN. EVERY TIME IM HAPPY WITH A CARD AND THINK I SHOULD LOOK AT ONE MORE TO LOVE RU ANIMAL: THE BLACKSHEEP OF THE TLR FAMILY BECAUSE WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND LIKES HARUNA? THIS DECK IS EXTREMELY STABLE AND REWARDING TO PLAY IF YOU WIN, AND WITH THE BENEFIT OF STUFF LIKE A REST PUNCH AND AKATSUKI, IS PRETTY DECENT AT SQUEEZING ITSELF OUT OF SITUATIONS. THIS IS SOMETHING I PICKED UP SHORTLY AFTER TLR2 CAME OUT AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE DECK, NOT MUCH ELSE TO SAY I GUESS.

THE BLACKSHEEP OF THE TLR FAMILY BECAUSE WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND LIKES HARUNA? THIS DECK IS EXTREMELY STABLE AND REWARDING TO PLAY IF YOU WIN, AND WITH THE BENEFIT OF STUFF LIKE A REST PUNCH AND AKATSUKI, IS PRETTY DECENT AT SQUEEZING ITSELF OUT OF SITUATIONS. THIS IS SOMETHING I PICKED UP SHORTLY AFTER TLR2 CAME OUT AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE DECK, NOT MUCH ELSE TO SAY I GUESS. IMAS: ANOTHER DECK WHERE I SPENT LI9KE A MILLION DOLLARS ON CLIMAXES LOL. THIS DECK IS A DECK THAT VERY CLASSICALLY FUCKS WITH YOUR OPPONENT, BUT I JUST WASNT REALLY FEELING HAPPY WITH IT. I LOVE IMAS, BOTH AS AN IP AND A SET, BUT I HAD A REALLY GOOD RECORD WITH THE DECK OF BLOWING MY PROVERBIAL LOAD ON THE KALEIDO-ESQUE SET UP, AND NOT KILLING THEM. ITS REALLY AWKWARD. IVE REPURPOSED MY DECK TO BE MORE LIKE HOW I USED TO PLAY THE DECK WITH MORE HEALERS AND IORI CLOCK KICKERS, BUT I DO NOT THINK THAT THIS NEW VERSION OF IMAS WAS THE PLAY AT WGP. AT ALL. THOUGH TO BE FAIR YOU CAN JUST OUTRIGHT WIN BECAUSE YOUR OPPONENT IS TOO HORRIBLE TO KNOW HOW TO PLAY AGAINST HARUKA.

SO YEAH AFTER MUCH CONTEMPLATION AND SHIT I REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT DECK I LIKED THE MOST, AND THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT SO MUCH I JUST COULDNT GET MYSELF TO NOT HATE EVERY DECK I OWNED. AT THAT POINT I STARTED WRITING THE OSOMATSU SHOTGUN BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT DUDE, AND THEN I JUST STARTED PLAYING THAT DECK A LOT MORE AND THEN I DECIDED TO PLAY IT AT MY WGP. RELUCTANTLY MIND YOU. IVE ALSO BEEN ON NISEKOI’S DICK A LOT RECENTLY AND REALLY WANTED TO PLAY THAT, BUT IF I LEARNED ANYTHING FROM LAST YEAR’S WGP, MATCH UPS MEAN A LOT. THE AMOUNT OF OPPONENTS I HAD LAST YEAR THAT KNEW WHAT INDEX DID WAS LESS THAN I EXPECTED, AND THOSE GAMES I HAD SLIGHT ADVANTAGE DUE TO SHENANIGANS. WITH THAT LOGIC, MATSU VS NISEKOI BECOMES AN INTERESTING PICK. PLAY THE “ONE TRICK PONY RECTAL RAMPAGE” DECK THAT EVERYONE CAN COUNTER NOW, OR PLAY 6 DUDES THAT JUST LIKE TO BE THEMSELVES AND HAVE FUN. THE LATTER SEEMED LIKE IT WOULD GARUNTEE WINS, SO I EVENTUALLY LOCKED IT IN AND PRINTED OUT MY TRANSLATIONS EARLY TO FEEL LIKE I WAS LOCKED INTO THIS CHOICE. IT WAS ALSO AT THIS POINT THAT I SPENT MORE TIME THINKING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES DECKS AND HELPING THEM OUT AS OPPOSED TO MY OWN DECK, WHICH WAS REALLY NICE CAUSE THEN I DIDNT GET TO THINK MYSELF INTO A CORNER WHY ANY DECK I WANTED TO PLAY WAS COMPLETE SHIT.

EITHER WAY, KEEPING MY MIND OFF OF IT WAS CORRECT BECAUSE THEN COME SATURDAY MORNING I DIDNT FEEL LIKE I MADE THE WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, A VERY FAMILIAR FEELING WHENEVER I DO SOMETHING CARD GAME RELATED.

CHAPTER 2: HUSTLE HUSTLE, MUSCLE MUSCLE

MAN HAVING AN EVENT AT MY LOLCALS WAS FUCKING AWESOME. JUST BEING ABLE TO SAY THAT STILL FEELS GOOD. TO GET SAPPY, I USED TO DRIVE LIKE 30 MINUTES TO WHAT WAS ESSENTIALLY A 3-4 MAN LOLCALS EVERY WEEK TILL THAT DISINTEGRATED, AND THEN AFTER THAT IF I WANTED TO PLAY WEISS I HAD TO GO DECENTLY FAR, AND I WASNT REALLY DOWN WITH THAT FOR A WHILE. BECOMING BIG ENOUGH THAT MY CITY COULD GET ITS OWN WGP JUST REALLY MAKES ME HAPPY AT HOW MUCH THE COMMUNITY HAS GROWN.

ANYWAYS GAY SHIT OVER.

I GOT LIKE 6 HOURS OF SLEEP OR SOMETHING WHICH IS A FUCKING RECORD TO BE HONEST BECAUSE IM USUALLY THE BEST AT STAYING UP TILL THE SUN’S UP THE NIGHT BEFORE A TOURNEY, BUT I GUESS IT JUST WASNT IN THE CARDS THAT DAY. HAHA, NICE. I WOKE UP AND DROVE MYSELF AND MY FRIEND TO THE TOURNAMENT, BUT NOT BEFORE INDULGING IN SOMETHING THAT I CANT TELL IF I LIKE IT OR NOT YET, AND THATS JACK-IN-THE-BOX BREAKFAST. LIKE ITS OK I GUESS, AND IT WAS SUPER CONVENIENT, BUT IM PRETTY SURE I JUST LIKE MCMUFFINS BETTER THAN WHATEVER THEY GOT. SAD THAT YOURE LOSING TO EGG PUCKS, J-BOS. SIGH.

AFTER ARRIVING TO THE LOLCALS, I INDULGE IN MY MEDIOCRE BREAKFAST FOOD AS I WATCH SOME PEOPLE TRICK INTO THE VENUE. MOST OF WHICH I KNOW, BUT SOMETIMES I DONT. THERE WERE SOME PRETTY HARDCORE PROFESSIONAL MEMERS AND THEN SOME RANDO KID NAMED FRESHATZ OR SOMETHING. CHECK HIM OUT HES GOT SOME OK CONTENT ON THERE. THAT KID TRIED TO BAIT ME INTO PLAYING SOME FRIENDLIES BEFORE THE TOURNAMENT, BUT IM NOT LETTING THAT FUCKER USE SOME WEIRD VOODOO POWERS TO SAP MY LUCK, SO I POLITELY DECLINED (IF HE HAD PRESSED FURTHER ON THE SUBJECT, I WOULD HAVE SHOWN HIM STREET JUSTICE WITH MY KATANA SAMURAI SWORD, BUT THANKFULLY I THINK HE KNEW MY BANKAI WAS GONNA GET UNSEALED SOON).

OVERALL I FEEL A BIT MORE CALM, BUT BEING AT YOUR LOLCALS DOES THAT I THINK. IVE ALREADY PLAYED LIKE A THOUSAND WEISS GAMES THERE, SO WHATS A THOUSAND AND 5.

ROUND 1: VS MATSU

OK I ABSOLUTELY LOST MY SHIT BECAUSE THEY ANNOUNCED MY MATCH UP AS THE VERY FIRST MATCH UP OF THE TOURNEY. I HEARD MY OPPONENT’S NAME AND MY EYES LIT UP LIKE THE NIGHT’S SKY ON THE 4TH OF JULY. ROUND 1 MATSH MIRROR MATCH HOLY FUCK I WAS HYPE. MY ANUS BEGAN TO TINGLE WHEN I WAS TOLD TO SIT AT THE STREAM STATION AS WELL. THIS IS THE LEGACY OF SAN DIEGO WEISS, 2 DUDES PLAYING A DECK ABOUT 6 DUDES. 12 DUDES GOING AT IT, YOU CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP.

THE VIDEO WILL GET UPLOADED TO THE SDWEISS YOUTUBE CHANNEL, SO I DONT THINK I NEED TO BE THAT SPECIFIC ABOUT THE GAME. HE SALVAGED LIKE 6+ TIMES FROM HIS JUICY BOYS, I THINK I GOT 1 JUICY BOY SALVAGE IF IM BEING EVEN REMOTELY GENEROUS TO MYSELF, AND I DIED IN CARD ADVANTAGE AND COULDNT NOT PLAY INTO A REST PUNCH AT ONE POINT.

I DIDNT EVEN REALLY CARE THOUGH, IT WAS JUST SWEET TO PLAY THE MATSU MIRROR, BUT THEN I WAS ALSO SAD BECAUSE AT THAT POINT I FEEL LIKE THE DOUBLE MATSU TOP DREAM WAS DEAD.

ROUND 2: IDOLMASTER

THIS GUY WAS A LOLCAL SO I FIGURED THIS GAME WAS GONNA BE A FREE CLEAN UP FOR THE BANGBROS. HE CHOSE TO RUN THE 3/2 CHIHAYA RESTANDER INSTEAD OF THE HARUKA ORBITAL STRIKE COMBO, WHICH MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WASNT REALLY GOING TO DIE IN A TURN AT 3, AND GENERALLY I FEEL LIKE I HAVE HAD GOOD LUCK AGAINST THIS PARTICULAR PLAYER.

HE COULDNT FIELD MORE THAN 1 OF THE 1/0 DEMON HARUKA ALL GAME SO IT WAS REALLY EASY TO KILL THE ONE HE KEPT PLAYING. HE COULDNT REALLY KEEP UP IN CARDS COMPARED TO ME, AND I DIDNT EVEN USE A MEMORY SEARCHER (MEANING I DIDNT GET MY PLUSSING COMBO KEK). ALL STAR IN THIS GAME WAS THE 2/2 KARAMATSU. THIS GUY CAME DOWN AND JUST SLAYED ANY 1/0 HARUKA HE PLAYED FOR FREE. 9500 IS JUST SOMETHING THAT HARUKA ALSO CANT CLIMB TO, SO HE STAYED AROUND FOR A VERY LONG TIME. IT WAS A VERY REWARDING CARD TO PLAY AT THAT TIME. I END UP FUCKING UP MY REST PUNCH PLAY HARD AND HE STILL ATTACKED 3 TIMES (LOL) BUT ITS OK BECAUSE I DIDNT DIE TO HIS TURN, AND THEN I KILLED HIM ON MY OWN TURN. FEELS GOOD, MAN.

ROUND 3: IDOLMASTER

OK SURE WHY NOT. THIS MATCH UP WASNT VS A LOCAL, BUT IT WAS SOMEONE I HAD PLAYED A LOT THROUGH SKYPE IN THE PAST SO IT WAS STILL A PRETTY CASUAL FEELING GAME, WHICH IS NICE. UNLIKE MY PREVIOUS OPPONENT, THIS GUY WAS LOOKING TO HIT MY WITH A PRECISION ORBITAL STRIKE, AND I CAN RESPECT THAT.

THIS GAME WAS QUITE A BIT DIFFERENT FROM MY LAST ONE BECAUSE MY OPPONENT MANAGED TO ASSEMBLE A BOARD OF 3 HARUKAS, AND THATS JUST REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING. THANKFULLY, THE JUICY BOYS WERE ABLE TO BACK ME UP THIS GAME AS I JUST SORTA PLUSSED MY WAY TO VICTORY BY JUST CONTIUNALLY PUTTING STUFF IN FRONT OF MY BACKROW, AND TURNING THEM CLOCKWISE. THE END OF THE GAME WAS SUPER TIGHT AND HE MISPLAYED SUPER HARD, SO THATS AWESOME. MY FIELD WAS A COUPLE OF RANDO NERDS AND A CHOROMATSU CLOCK KICKER. MY OPPONENT IS AT 3/5 WITH 4 CARDS IN DECK AND THEN HE PLAYS DOWN A 1/1 HARUKA HELL QUEEN. HE ALSO THEN PLAYS THE HARUKA REVERSER THAT TOPCHECKS ON PLAY, AND REVEALS A STOCK SOUL. HE ATTACKS THE 1/1 HARUKA INTO MY CLOCK KICKER, BOTH OF US BURN 1 (HE CANCELS), THEN HE TRIGGERS. I DONT REALLY REMEMBER IF I TAKE THE DAMAGE OR NOT BECAUSE AT THIS MOMENT I BASICALLY WIN THE GAME. MY CHARACTER REVERSES HE HARUKA, HE WASNT AWARE I COULD CLOCK KICK ON EITHER TURN, HE IS NOW AT 3/6 WITH 2 CARDS IN DECK, EFFECTIVELY MEANING HE NEEDS TO HIT A 5 IN ONE ATTACK OR HE JUST LOSES. HE JUST LOST.

I COLLECT MY WIN AND WATCH AS MY FRIEND WALLOWS IN MISERY OVER HIS PLAY, AS I OCCASIONALLY GOAD HIM ON THE SUBJECT.

ROUND 4: THE IDOL-FUCKING-MASTER

JESUS CHRIST I PLAYED EVERY SINGLE IDOLMASTER PLAYER AT THIS EVENT, AND WHATS WORSE, THIS MOTHER FUCKER WAS PLAYING DO- DAI. IF YOU BITCHES DONT KNOW WHAT DO DAI DOES, YOU JUST FUCKING SLAM 2 SOULS WITH THE GREATEST 2 SOUL COMBO IN EXISTENCE AND HOPE IT ALL STICKS. ITS REALLY GOOD AT CATCHING PEOPLE WITH THEIR PANTS DOWN, BUT ITS ALSO REALLY GOOD AT SHITTING ITSELF, SO THIS MATCH WAS BASICALLY A COINTOSS.

SO BASICALLY THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS THE NERVE TO SLAM 2 SOULS AND ATTACK ME LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER, AND I WASNT REALLY OK WITH THIS. MY PLAN INSTANTLY BECAME FIELDING THE 2/2 KARAMATSUS TO TRY TO KEEP UP IN SOUL DAMAGE, BUT THINGS STILL SEEM GRIM. MY FIRST TURN AT LEVEL 1 I ONLY HAD 2 ATTACKERS, BUT I ATLEAST HAD A CLIMAX TO PLAY (STILL FEELS BAD, MAN). HE OPTS TO TRY TO FINISH WITH THIS MAMI CARD, SACKING THE DO DAI MAMI HE KEEPS IN THE BACKROW, BUT HE DOESNT GET THERE AND HES BASICALLY OUT OF RESOURCES AND I JUST WIN THE NEXT TURN. EITHER WAY, I DONT THINK DO DAI MATCHES ARE EVER FUN TO PLAY FOR EITHER PLAYER SOMETIMES, UNLESS YOUR OPPONENT IS LITERAL SATAN. THIS GUY WASNT LITERAL SATAN THO, SO I TRIED TO HARBOR NO HARD FEELINGS AS I GRINNED SILLY ON THE INSIDE FOR NOT EXPLODING INTO CANDY OR SOMETHING.

ROUND 5: MONOGATORADE

WOW BOYS, WE MADE IT. 3-1 AND GOING INTO THE LAST ROUND OF SWISS. I JUST REALLY NEEDED TO NOT FUCK ANYTHING UP. I KEEP TRACK OF ALL THE X-1S AND ID SAY I DIDNT REALLY WANT TO PLAY ANY OF THEM. OF THE ONES I KNEW, I THOUGHT THEY WERE ALL GOOD PLAYERS, AND OF THE ONES I DIDNT KNOW, I HAD TO ASSUME THEY WERE GOOD PLAYERS BECAUSE THEY DIDNT CRASH AND BURN AT THE START OF THE TOURNEY. EITHER WAY I ENDED UP PLAYING A LOCAL MG PLAYER, WHICH KINDA SCARED ME BECAUSE IN THE PAST WE HAVE BOTH JUST HAD GAMES WITH EACH OTHER WHERE NEITHER PLAYER PLAYED (BUT USUALLY IT WAS ME). EITHER WAY I TRIED TO GO INTO THE ROUND WITH A POSITIVE MINDSET AND HOPING FOR THE BEST.

I CANT SAY MUCH ABOUT THE GAME, REALLY. IM PRETTY SURE I PLUSSED MORE THAN HIM, THE ONLY TIME I REMEMBER HIM GOING FOR HIS SHINOBU COMBO I PUNCHED THE ONLY LANE HE FIELDED IT. HE MANAGED TO SACK SOME SWEET KANBARU BOMBS BACK TO HIS HAND, BUT THE JUICY BOYS JUST KEPT DOIN THEIR JOB. HE CHANGED INTO THE 3/2 SHINOBU AS EXPECTED, BUT I HAD THE ALLSTAR ICHIMATSU THERE TO DESTROY HIS BOOTY. EARLY PLAYS ARE GOOD UNTIL THEY DIE THE TURN YOU PLAY THEM, I WAS QUITE HAPPY I PLANNED AHEAD FOR THAT PLAY, BECAUSE THE 3/2 SHINOBU IS FUCKING OPPRESSIVE. ANYWAYS, BY KILLING HIS 3 STOCK INVESTMENT THE TURN HE PLAYED IT WHILE ALSO FORCING HIM INTO 3, HE WAS SITTING AT WHAT I IMAGINE WAS AN UNCOMFORTABLE AMOUNT OF STOCK FOR A MG PLAYER. I WAS ALSO MAKING SURE TO KEEP TRACK OF HIS CLOWN GLASSES, AND BY THE TURN I WENT FOR THE KILL, I WAS VERY CONFIDENT HE DIDNT HAVE IT. I WAS PROBABLY AT 3/1 OR 3/0 THAT TURN AND I HAD A REST PUNCH SO I HAD A LOT OF CONFIDENCE WHETHER I KILLED HIM OR NOT SINCE HE ONLY HAD THE STOCK TO PLAY 1 LEVEL 3 AFTER BOUNCING HIS CLOCK KICKER WITH MIDDLE SCHOOL SHINOBU. EITHER WAY IT DIDNT MATTER BECAUSE I MANAGED TO DODGE THE LAST CLIMAX IN HIS DECK FOR GAME. WE VERY MATURELY SHOOK HANDS AND SAID “GOOD GAME” AND I HONESTLY BELIEVE WE BOTH MEANT IT. ANYWAYS FUCK THAT KID, IM 4-1 AND VERY CONFIDENT IN MY TOP 4 SLOT.

THE AFTERMATH

GOING INTO THAT ROUND THERE WAS 2 X-0S AND A LOT OF X-1S, ENOUGH THAT NOT EVERY X-1 WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT. WELL, ONE OF THE X-1 MATCHES GOT A TIME OUT DOUBLE LOSS, SO THANKS FOR THE INVITE LOSERS. THE TO ANNOUNCES THE TOP CUT AND IM PRETTY EXCITED:

1ST PLACE: KANTAI COLLECTION

2ND PLACE: OSOMATSU-SAN (NOT ME)

3RD PLACE: TO LOVE RU DARKNESS

4TH PLACE: OSOMATSU-SAN (ME!!)

HOLY SHIT NOT ONLY DID I TOP AFTER LOSING TO MY OTHER MATSU BRO IN THE BUILDING, BUT HE ALSO MANAGED TO TOP. DOUBLE MATSU TOP IN SAN DIEGO BOYS THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT IN WEISS SCHWARZ HISTORY I SWEAR TO FUCK. ANYWAYS TIME FOR DECK CHECKS AND IM NERVOUS AS HELL OUT OF PRINCIPLE, THOUGH I AM VERY CONFIDENT IN MY ABILITY TO MAKE A DECKLIST AFTER GOING TO SEVERAL EVENTS REQUIRING THEM IN THE PAST, AND BEING TOLD SEVERAL TIMES THROUGHOUT MY CARD GAME CAREER TO BE CAREFUL WITH DECKLISTS AND NOT TO FUCK IT UP. I PASS, MY MATSU-BRO PASSES, THE KANTAI PLAYER PASSES, AND THE TLR PLAYER…FAILS. WELP, THAT SUCKS, FAILED DECK CHECKS REALLY SUCK, BUT LIKE, THIS WAS RETARDED. IT STARTED WITH THE JUDGE POINTING OUT HE RAN 2 PUCHIMIKAN, BUT HE ONLY WROTE DOWN THAT HE PLAYED 1. THEN AFTER COUNTING THE DUDES DECKLIST HIS DECKLIST ONLY HAD 39 CARDS ON IT WHAT THE FUCK MAN. LIKE, SERIOUSLY? THIS KID IS A LEGEND AT MY LOLCALS ALREADY, BUT HE JSUT ELEVATED HIMSELF WAY FAR ABOVE THAT STATUS NOW. SO AS PER BUSHIROAD RULES, AFTER A PLAYER FAILS A DECK CHECK, EVERYONE GETS BUMPED UP A SPACE OR SO SO 5TH PLACE NOW BECAME 4TH, AND THE TOP CUT WAS NOW THIS:

1ST PLACE: KANTAI COLLECTION

2ND PLACE: OSOMATSU-SAN

3RD PLACE: OSOMATSU-SAN

4TH PLACE: FATE/STAY

WE ALL HOLD OUR BREATHES TILL THE FATE PLAYER PASSES DECK CHECK, AND THEN EVERYONE IS CHILL AND COOL. AT THIS POINT IM FEELING PRETTY GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AND THEN EVENT, LIKE HOLY CRAP. I LOVE MY MATSU DECK SO MUCH, AND ITS SO HYPE THAT 2 MATSU PLAYERS TOPPED. THEN RANDALL D’RANDALL TELLS ME THE MIKE CHENG ALSO TOPPED WITH MATSU AT THE LA REGIONAL AND IM READY TO GO BANANAS. CALI IS NOW MATSU COUNTRY, BOYS. ALSO, IF YOU CHECK THE HOTC SITE FOR DECKLISTS EVER, NONE OF THE TOP 4 WILL BE UP ON THERE, WE ALL DID DECK PROFILES WITH FRESHMATZ, SO BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR THOSE ON HIS YOUTUBE CHANNEL. YAY EXCLUSIVITY.

AFTER THE TOURNEY, MOST OF THE ENTRANTS WALKED OVER TO A BUFFET PLACE THATS IN THE SAME PARKING LOT, AND IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST FUN DINNERS I HAD EVER BEEN TO. WE ATE TONS OF FOOD, WE ALL SHARED CRAZY WEISS STORIES FROM TODAY AND FROM THE PAST, I GOT TO SOUND LIKE AN OLD MAN SAYING SHIT LIKE, “WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I ONLY HAD MELTY BLOOD AND DOG DAYS, AND REWRITE RAN RAMPANT THROUGH THE STREETS DESTROYING EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH” OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

I REALIZE BY WRITING THIS ARTICLE THAT PEOPLE MIGHT MAKE CONNECTIONS TO MY TRUE IDENTITY BUT I DONT THINK I CARE ABOUT THAT ANYMORE. NORMALLY THIS IS WHERE ID POST A DECKLIST, BUT IM JUST GONNA POINT AT PESHKATZ’SES CHANNEL AGAIN. MAY AS WELL POINT AT HIM AS THE HOLDER OF THE MATSU SECRETS SO HE CAN GET THAT DANK YOUTUBE MONEY. :^)

ANYWAYS, UH, PROPS VS SLOPS MAYBE??

PROPS

GETTING THE INVITE

NOT EXPLODING TO DO DAI

ROUND 1 MATSU MIRROR STREAM HYPE

SUPER MATSU BROS IN TOP

LOTS OF MEMES AND GOOD TIME

MEETING SOME COOL AND GREAT PLAYERS

CATCHING UP WITH PEOPLE I HADNT SEEN IN A LONG WHILE

NIGGA HOW DO YOU PUT 39 CARDS ON YOUR DECKLIST LIKE ARE YOU DUMB HAHA

SLOPS

R1 LOSS TO MATSU, DEMONSTRATING THAT I AM NOT THE TRUE MATSU MASTER

ONLY PLAYING MY FRIENDS ALL TOURNEY, AND SENDING ALL OF THEM TO THE SHADOW REALM (EXCEPT THE MATSU PLAYER)

NIGGA I AINT MAD ABOUT ANYTHING IM GOIN TO NEW YOURK BITCHESSSSSS

SO ANYWAYS THATS ABOUT ALL I HAVE FOR YOU, I GOTTA GO DO IMPORTANT LIFE THINGS, BUT I WANTED TO GET THIS OUT THERE AS FAST AS I COULD. LATER HATERS, OR WHATEVER, UNCLE BUTTS OUT.