Update: This is a sick day/personal day/site issues/Thanksgiving Eve look back at the Busted Coverage archives. This post was originally published Jan. 21, 2009.

We miss the “Legendary Neckbeard Kyle Orton.”

He had to go and grow up. Get married. Quit hitting the bars. No more pounding Jack straight from the bottle.

He’s now a Chicago QB who will likely see a free agent brought in to steal his position.

All we are left with are the memories (and these pictures) of the good days from 2005-early 2008.

Those years were filled with nights passed out in some random bed with chicks taunting the million-dollar slinger after another evening of getting tanked.

We’re calling this one “2 Girls. No Cups. 1 Passed Out Kyle Orton.”

Get a quick glimpse of the legend at work.



Here is the setup on this one.

Orton, supposedly drinking by himself at a random bar, runs into these chicks after obviously hitting the bar early and often.

He dresses up for the evening in one of his Doors shirts from the massive collection of band threads the legend owns.

The ladies, infatuated by star power such as this, proceed to somehow lead Orton back to someone’s house where a bed awaits.

There, the power of the alcohol takes over. Orton crashes. The ladies attack.

Just another night in the past life of the Neckbeard.

We’ve always heard of athletes having these bedroom trysts but never actually thought they’d pass out before the good stuff.

Then again, Orton is a machine built from a different type of steel. Maybe this was a strategic play and he went on to have torrid sex with these two.

The smart bet is he never woke up until the sweet smell of kegs, eggs and bacon crossed his nose.