I made myself a challenge the other day: to write a whole article about transvestite/transgender pop songs without making one stupid cheap joke. No Crying Game references. No cutesy euphemistic witticisms about chicks with a little something extra. Why did I make this challenge? I didn't, actually. That's a total lie. I was actually talking to Maxwell Yezpitelok about a great article he wrote, and he indirectly gave me the idea for this column. I guess what I'm saying is I stole the idea for an article about transvestite/transsexual songs from a younger writer and there was nothing he could do about it but cry.

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"Thanks for the idea, nerd. Now get yourself one."

But having decided to write it, I then made a decision to avoid any cheap "tranny" jokes. Y'know, like using the word "tranny" like I just did. Shit! Anyway, here is the real story about the people behind five pop songs about unconventional women. Oh, one more thing. While I'm going to avoid cheap jokes, there is simply no way to avoid "Dude Looks Like a Lady." It would be like writing an article about songs about parts of a house that a Slinky works on and leaving out "Stairway to Heaven."