Free, Open, and Sacred Sexuality had Thrived in Japan Till 150 Years Ago

(「性は聖なる自然の営み」という古来からの日本の伝統)

[Dance Prayer]

I am dancing at the local venue in New Jersey. In an ecstatic state from dancing, I tune into the community of dancers of the olden times. I become one of them in spirit. I feel them emotionally and visually in my mind. I see some drumming randomly, and yet harmonious with the energy of this dancing community. I see some getting naked, while blissfully dancing. In the state of ecstasy, my mind chatters quiet down. In a seemingly chaotic dancing scene, my center is very calm. I am the dance. Dance is me. I feel very grounded and firmly in my body. The more I am in my body, the more I feel secure. I feel powerful. I sense someone is shouting out loud what is on her mind, releasing her anger, frustration, pain, sorrow……, as such is encouraged by the Buddhist teacher. From the empowered and ecstatic state of being, expressing held up emotions is so healing and empowering. She can unblock and heal her energy field.

Doesn’t this dancing scene feel more like that of contemporary Osho’s classes, if not from any healing workshops such as ISTA? But, they are not. They are actually a group of Buddhists from around 1279 A.D., that is, 740 years ago Japan. This Buddhist group was called Jishu (時宗). Jishu was started by the master Buddhist monk, Ippen (一遍上人). These dancing Buddhists became so widespread throughout Japan that a quarter to as much as a half of the entire Japanese population were said to take part in it. Their acts of religious devotion was called “Dance chant or Dance prayer (踊り念仏).” Spiritual ecstasy from dancing was a simple and integral part of their spiritual practices. While the prayer dance was practiced by this Buddhists group, its goal was to experience the egoless and blissful state of Buddha mind. As they became so popular throughout Japan, it is easy to imagine that this ecstatic prayer dance of the Buddhist sect affected psyche and culture of the rest of the Japanese people.

Significance of this story of the 13th Century dance prayer can only be understood when looked at it in the flow of history starting from the much earlier mythological Japan, particularly in light of the sacred sexuality in Japan.

From the ancient times, Japanese people had been very open to sexuality. It feels to me that sexuality and sexual desire was viewed as natural as hunger and thirst in the minds of most Japanese people. There was no significant religious intolerance and taboos placed on sexuality in Japan, that is, until the West forced itself into Japan about 150 years ago.

Japan’s myth honored sexuality as something beautiful. Sexuality was an integral part of Japanese creation myth. God, Izanagi (伊邪那岐命) and goddess Izanami (伊邪那美命) made love to create islands of Japan, according to two of the oldest official history books; The Chronicles of Japan or Nihon Shoki (日本書紀), and An Account of Ancient Matters or Kojiki (古事記). After passing of goddess Izanami, god Izanagi was purifying himself in the stream. There he made love with a woman (or women), who gave birth to sun-goddess, Amaterasu, his brother, Susanowo (素戔嗚) and seven other gods and goddesses. Susanowo acted uncontrollably, which made Amaterasu upset. In disappointment, Amaterasu hid herself in the mountain cave, depriving sunlight from the lands and for the people. In order to bring Amaterasu out of the cave, goddess, Amano-Uzumeno-Mikoto (天鈿女命) danced naked in front of the cave. Her crazy naked dance brought lots of excitements and laughter among gods who assembled at the cave. Goddess, Amaterasu, hearing the excitement, peeked out of the cave out of curiosity, and the lands were again blessed with her light. These are not just myth stories, but I consider them relevant for understanding sacred sexuality in Japan.

Just as the Adam and Eve myth has affected collective psyche of the West (more will be discussed in Pat II), Japanese myth has been acting as constant reminder and affirmations for collective Japanese mind that sex is sacred and sex possesses powerful creative divine force, and that nakedness is also divine and of beauty. Traditionally Japan did not have taboos around sexuality nor nakedness.

[Mixed Gender Bathing in Japan]

From the earliest known times, Japanese has been honoring the water, be it river, ocean, stream, hot spring, as cleansing agent, just as god Izanagi cleansed himself in the stream (禊ぎ). Japanese also made love while water cleansing, just as Izanagi did to give birth to Amaterasu and eight other gods and goddesses. Mixed bath among men and women (混浴) was a norm rather than a rarity up until American Admiral Perry forced Japan to open her ports 150 years ago. Gods and goddesses made love for creation. Sex had been viewed, therefore, as a sacred ceremony with full creative power. This is rather hard for contemporary Japanese men and women to comprehend. In many ways, contemporary Japanese have been sealed away from the memory and legacy of this important sacred sexuality tradition. The tradition of mixed bath also implies that people felt very comfortable about their own bodies and about their nakedness. They had no shame nor taboo about being naked. This mixed bath tradition really surprised and embarrassed the Westerners when they arrived in Japan 150 years ago. Many Westerners had negative reactions to Japanese men and women being so accustomed to be naked in public. I believe they felt embarrassed and were judgmental towards the Japanese because of their own shame around being naked.

[Night Crawling – Yobai(夜這い)]

Beside the tradition of the mixed bath, Yobai was practiced since the time memorial in Japan. The literal translation of Yobai is crawling in the night. It is a tradition of a man visiting a woman’s home to make love, though a woman did visit man’s home as well. A woman may be a single, a wife, or a widow. A man who wishes to make love with a woman, visit her at night. She may or may not accept his wish. She had a full power to say yes or no. In our contemporary terminology, a woman was empowered and knew her boundary. Yobai was practiced among commoners as well as by aristocrats. There is one interesting example of Yobai in the oldest Japanese poetry collection, called Manyoshuu (万葉集) compiled in 759 AD. Manyoshuu is known to contain poetries by people of all segments of society, be they commoners, aristocrats, and emperors. One Particular poetry written by a woman from a simple village describes how an emperor visited her at night for Yobai. She lived in a mountain village. She was from a simple village family. Her poetry describes her sorrow of her secret relationship with the emperor. The emperor came for her to make love. But her parents were sleeping. Since she was from a simple village home, and the family had only a room or two. Her parents were sleeping nearby. If she walked over them to take the emperor in, her parents would most likely wake up. While wondering what to do, the dawn had arrived. The emperor was left outside the house, not being able to see her.

This ancient practice of Yobai continued up to the end of World War II, with some rural areas still practicing good many years after the end of the war. Up until recently, sex and marriage were not synonymous in Japan. Sex was considered sacred and natural as breath, eating and drinking. Sex was experienced in and beyond one’s marriage. Marriage had been very fluid in that sense. Again, for many Japanese people, sexuality had been like quenching their thirst. There had not been any serious religious intolerance and taboos on sexuality in Japan. In our contemporary concept, the Japanese people were often in open relationships or polyamory. In this free environment, a child might be born with no certainty as to who a father was. But it did not matter, for a child was raised by a mother and her family, if not by someone in the community. It is how a matriarch society works. In the Ancient Israel before King Josiah’s detrimental purge of goddesses, priestesses, and sacred sex rituals, a child was also raised by a mother’s family. Therefore, it did not matter who a father was.

Sometime between 400 to 800 A.D. a new tradition began in Japan. It was a serious poetry reading competition with sexuality deeply ingrained in it. This poetry competition gathering was called Utagaki (歌垣). It is a gathering of men and women to share and compete with spontaneous poetry making. They met at beaches and mountains. Participants gradually got excited with the competition. After the poetry competition, those who felt connected went away together and made love. It was an opportunity to meet and to make love. Much like the Ancient Israel and much of the rest of the world before monotheism’s invasion, sexual unions were believed to have power to fertilize the lands. Utagaki were often held, though not limited to it, in planting and harvesting seasons. Utagaki might be likened to contemporary dating websites, cuddle parties, and temple nights all combined.

There was a poetry included in Manyoshuu, volume 9 about this Utagaki gathering. The poetry goes something like, “Young men and women are heading to a Utagaki gathering to be held at the beach by Mount Tsukuba. I look forward to make love with a wife of another man, and I wish my wife would enjoy making love with another man. May the mountain spirit not object our gathering.”

The Utagaki gatherings’ popularity in Japan gave birth to a special Japanese poetry form called Waka and subsequently Haiku. When poetry making Utagaki Gathering was adopted by the Imperial court, poetries were further refined and became Waka poetry as we know today. In the meantime, based on the Utagaki Gathering tradition, a new form of tradition emerged. In this new tradition the poetry was dropped out, leaving love making to be its sole purpose, in a group setting. This new tradition is called Zakone (雑魚寝), which is more like a temple night in our contemporary terminology. This temple night was celebrated at the beginning of spring at temples or shrines. Men and women of young and old gathered together at a temple or a shrine over night to make love in groups. It is possible that initially the Utagaki poetry making was used as preparation to a temple night’s group love making. This temple night tradition would spread throughout Japan by the Edo period in the early 1600 A.D.

It is in this sex positive and pleasure positive society where Jishu Buddhist Sect began the Dance prayer which I mentioned earlier. The Jishu Buddhism spread like a wild fire throughout Japan so much so that it is said that as much as a half of Japanese population was engaged in the dance prayer. Gradually ecstatic dancing of Jishu’s dancing prayer began to have its own life independently from Jishu Buddhism. While the intention of Jishu’s dancing prayer (踊り念仏) was to attain egoless state of ecstasy, its offshoot was more about an art form, and called chanting dance (念仏踊り). From the Jishu Buddhist point of view, this new development was not a welcomed one. Nonetheless, the chanting dance had life of its own, creating various forms of arts; all forms of dancing, including unique Bon dance festivals (盆踊り) in each locale. Bon festivals was an annual festival to be held to honor and to reunite with the spirits of ancestors. Sex and pleasure positive tradition merged with this Bon Dance festivals, in that men and women met up in the Bon dance, and made love with those they felt drawn to after or during the festival. This Bon Dance festivals were once banned in Meiji Era about 150 years due to their sexual component. Since the Bon was about honoring and connecting with the departed, this occasion was considered sacred and religiously significant. Because sexuality was also considered sacred, naturally, the Bon Dance festivals were seen as time for the sacred sex. The banned Bon Dance was revived about 120 years ago. Contemporary Bon Dance festivals, however, have no sexual element.

Sacred sex has been practiced throughout the world, basically in two forms. One was in societies where the sacred sex was practiced in temples by and with priestesses, as in the case of the ancient Israel (before King Josiah destroyed it). Mayan and Inca in Central and South Americas also belong to this category. The other is the sacred sexuality practiced centered on a community, which was the case in Japan. Now, let’s see how Japan developed community based sacred sex practices.

Traditionally Japanese farming and fishing villages were relatively autonomous. They were not helpless victims of aristocrats nor Samurai warriors. Especially during about eighty some years of the warring period starting from around 1490 A.D., each village had to fend themselves from invading samurai armies. This was the period in Japan when there were samurai lords throughout Japan without a single leader. When there was fighting of neighboring samurai clans, village men sent their women and children to mountains to hide out, before invading samurais approached their villages. Sometimes villagers negotiated with two opposing neighboring samurai lords to pay half taxes each. Sometime the villagers fended themselves and fought against samurai warriors. Especially young men took charge of defending the village. In this process each village became even more tightly knitted community. Their unity and bonds were based on life and death reality of life. They protected and took care of each other with their lives. So you can imagine how this closely bonded villages and the tradition of open and sacred sexuality merged into creating a very sexually open community! Instead of the sacred sexuality being practiced at temples by and with priestesses, sacred sexuality was practiced in Japan within such villages without priestesses. Yobai was practiced mostly within one’s village, if not, also allowing neighboring village to participate.

[Furyu (風流) vs. Wabi Sabi (侘び寂び)]

There is a Japanese way of life, called Wabi-Sabi. You might have heard about it. Wabi-Sabi became known in the West in recent years. Wabi-Sabi is about appreciation of what is, with its imperfection, simplicity, and impermanence. Wabi-Sabi is, I believe originated from the spirit of Zen. There is, however, another Japanese cultural tradition, less known in the West, called Furyu. Its characteristic is a polar opposite of Wabi-Sabi. While Wabi-Sabi was popular among the upper echelon of the Japanese society, Furyu was widespread mainly among villagers and merchants. Furyu grew from and upon the tradition of the mixed bath, Yobai (night visit for love-making), Utagaki (poetry completion ended with love-making) and Zakone (temple night). Furyu is about making of super creative arts and events that would surprise everyone. While Wabi-Sabi sought simplicity, Furyu went after surprises, fun and something extraordinary. Creators of Furyu renaissance were especially young men and women of villages. It is important to know that prerequisite for the Furyu renaissance was relative financial independence of villagers. Without relative abundance among villagers, they could not have afforded both emotionally as well as financially to create surprising costumes and equipments for the events. When the westerners began to visit Japan 150 years ago, many of them expressed and wrote about their surprises that nobody begged them for money and foods. They were so used to be begged in other Asian countries prior to coming to Japan that they had assumed Japan would be the same. That was why they were surprised. That shows relative abundance among common villagers in Japan.

Furyu renaissance encompassed many aspects of people’s lives; harvest festivals, Shinto festivals, Buddhist temples festivals, Bon dancing festivals, various forms of arts, including Shunga (春画). Shunga is paintings of sexual scenes. Sexuality and eroticism was integral parts of the Furyu Renaissance. Let’s see few examples!

[Examples of Furyu Renaissance]

First example is Nabekaburi Matsuri (鍋被り祭り) in today’s Shiga Prefecture. This is a festival where women put cooking pots on their heads. Number of pots were determined by number of men they had had sexual relations from the prior year. If they would lie about numbers of sexual relations, therefore number of pots, they believed that they would be punished by gods. In fact, people considered that the more women had sexual relations with men, the more proud they were. Women were proud to have more sexual encounters.

Second is Shiritataki Matsuri (尻叩き祭り) in today’s Toyama Prefecture. This is a festival where women’s hips were hit for number of times equivalent to number of men with whom they had had sexual relationships in the prior year. Again, the more they were hit, the more proud they were. Sexuality was not anything to hide about. Sexuality was fully accepted and honored.

Third case is Zakone (雑魚寝) in Oohara (大原) in today’s Kyoto. It is like a temple night where the young and the old gathered at a temple or a shrine to make love in a group setting. Like the first two above, women tied number of strings on their ankles. The number of strings were determined by the number of sexual encounters they had had in the prior year. Again, the more strings the women had, the more proud they were. This Zakone gathering would spread throughout Japan by Edo Era which started around 1600 A.D.

Fourth example is Harvest Festivals (豊年祭) in today’s Aichi Prefecture. That is where I was born. Harvest Festival at Tagata Shrine (田縣神社) has been celebrating Lingam (penis), while Harvest Festival at the neighboring Ooagata Shrine (大縣神社) has been celebrating Yoni. Sacred sexuality has often been associated with abundance of harvest in these festivals as well as in Ancient Israel and all over the world. Sex was believed to energize the land to produce abundance of harvest. Ooagata Shrine has a long history since its inception in 3 B.C. There used to be more lingam and yoni statues throughout Japan, but many of them have been destroyed since Japan’s contact with the West.

[20th Century Japanese Sexuality]

How the sacred sexuality was practiced in Japan before, during and immediately after WWII was written by a folklore researcher, Keisuke Akamatsu (赤松啓介) with his firsthand accounts.

His contributions were significant for us to truly understand about Japanese sacred sexuality, for many of famous scholars of his day kept blind eyes on the real sexual cultural aspects of Japanese people and society. I believe they had shame issues themselves around the sexuality due to be Western influence.

The following descriptions are from Akamatsu’s books on Yobai:

“Hey, would you visit my Mom (or sister) tonight (to make love)?” This was a typical day-to-day conversation among villagers of the 20th Century Japan. So called sex talks did not carry any sense of shame and judgment, unlike today. Also there was no sense of “Thou shall not commit adultery”, though the idea was slowing making its way since the arrival of American Admiral Perry 150 years ago.

Akamatsu told how boys became men. Although each village determined its own rules, a boy were often treated as a man at or after his 13th birthday in many villages. At 13, an aunt or a relative gifted a boy a fundoshi, Japanese style loincloth underwater. A mother of a 13-year-old son then arranged a ritual or right of passage ceremony for him. Sometime she would ask boy’s aunt or a trustworthy older girl to engage in a ritual. A mother prepared and brought a fundoshi loincloth, and sake or Japanese rice wine to the aunt, if such was the choice made. For this day, the rest of aunt family member went away so that only aunt was present in the house to welcome a boy and his mother. The aunt prepared an alter with the sake, a picture representing Goddess Amaterasu, or any other deities. First the aunt would chant Heart Sutra with the boy in this ritual. Sake is poured onto three sizes of Japanese cups. Each drunk from these cups in a ritual manner. Then, the aunt guided and taught him the art of love making. This was not a theoretical sex education, but the ritual was about an actual love making. This first sex ceremony for a boy was called Fudeoroshi (筆下ろし). The literal meaning of Fudeoroshi is “use a writing brush for the first time.” The boy often continued to have love-making relationship with the aunt throughout his life, even after he would marry.

There was also a ritual when a boy becames 15. The elders or the older young men (each village has unique governing body) of the village organized a sex education ritual. Suppose there were 5 boys in the village who just reached 15. Five women, be they little older unmarried women, mothers, widowers, were selected to match with the five boys. At a determined date these five boys and five women gathered at a temple or a shrine, whichever was available at a village. They often used a lottery style selection process to pair them up. Among boys, on each of their palms one Chinese character from the famous Buddhism chant “Na Mu A Mi Da” (南無阿弥陀) was written. The same was done for the gathered women. Once both sides completed the task, everyone held up their hands to show which Chinese character was written on their palms. A boy and a woman who had the same Chinese character then was paired up. They treated this selection process as divinely inspired, and therefore once selected, no change was allowed. Each chosen pair sat and chanted Heart Sutra and sang Buddhist hymns to prepare themselves for the ritual. When preparations are completed, the boys were sent out to pee, while the women prepared futon beds. Most of venues were usually small. Therefore futon beds were laid next to each other. Now, the boys were called back in. Here, the real sex education began. The women guided their paired up boys in bed about the art of love making, manners, how to pleasure women, and so forth. When done, the boys thanked their teacher partners, and returned home. At home boy’s mothers had prepared special celebratory meals. Once this ritual was completed, the boys were allowed to Yobai, visit women of the village for practicing love making. Every village was unique and rituals and Yobai were done slightly in a different manner.

What about girls? When she became 13, her parents would select a trustworthy uncle or someone they could entrust their daughter to teach her the art of love making. This first sex for a girl was called Mizuage (水揚げ). Her mother then took her to the uncle’s home with gifts of rice and sake. In some cases, this uncle became a life-long advisor for the girl. Sometime, the girl continued to be in the love-making relationship with this uncle, even after marriage. Each village was unique and had some variances as to how this ceremony was practiced. In some villages, the ceremony happened only after girl’s first menstruation or after her pubic hair growth. Before Mizuage ceremony, a wealthier families held a celebratory banquet for a girl becoming a woman. As a sign of becoming a woman, her mother prepared Koshimaki, an outerrobe, often in red. When villagers saw her with her red Koshimaki, they knew that a girl had the first menstruation already. Less wealthy family would prepare for Mizuage ritual without a banquet.

After the 13 years-old celebration, both boys and girls continued their sexual journey thru Yobai practice.

[Shadow Side of Japanese Sexuality]

It is important to go into a shadow side of Japanese sexuality, for it is important for both light and shadow to be acknowledged.

It is about forced prostitution. When indebted families had no way of paying back their debts, sometime their children were offered to pay off their debts by working in red light districts. Some girls enjoyed this new status, while some hated it. But she had no freedom to leave until the debt is paid off. It is one thing to choose to be a lady of pleasure, but it is another to have no choice but to endure what she hated. May pain and suffering of their spirits be healed!

[People’s Power and Sacred Sexuality]

After 1868 A.D., when Japan opened her door to the West, western diplomats, translators, scholars, and others began to visit and to live in Japan. Their books and dairies tell almost equally about how Japanese people were very happy people with lots of laughters and humors, and with huge curiosity and inquisitiveness. Some of the westerners even worried that the old beautiful Japan would be tainted by their own Western culture.

Similar impressions were expressed by their predecessors, like Catholic missionary, Francisco Xavier of the mid 1500 A.D. He was one of founding members of the Jesuit. He arrived in Japan in 1549 A.D., and stayed two years before moving on to China. In his letter to Vatican, he described about his impressions about Japan, “The people of this country (Japan) is the best and the brightest among the countries discovered. We cannot find any other non-Christian people who are superior than the Japanese. They are very friendly, good hearted generally. For them, honor is the highest virtue. Most people are poor, and yet Samurai and villagers do not consider poverty as something dishonorable.”

In the 16th to 19th Century Japan, literacy rate was around 80%, while at the same period Londoners’ literacy rate was around 10%. Japanese in those periods were so eager to learn both old and new knowledge. They were so inquisitive. Their intellectual curiosity was on a high gear. When a gun first arrived in Japan in 16th Century A.D. in the small island of Tanegashima (種子島), the Samurai lord of the region asked a local artisan to make a duplicate gun. Within a year a gun was copied. Many guns were made by the time Portuguese came back after a year with the hope to sell many guns, to make fortune. They were so surprised and disappointed, of course. In decades after the arrival of the first gun to Japan, Japanese improves quality of guns, so much so that Dutch West India Company began to sell Japanese guns to other countries.

There is a reason why I wrote about how the westerners viewed Japanese. The westerners were outsiders and therefore, they had fresh and objective eyes. As I was researching to write this blog, I could not help but to come to my conclusion about correlation between sacred sexuality and people’s power.

Sexual energy is an important part of human life force. Rejecting, shaming and judging our own sexuality results in robbery and at least partial loss (or possibly significant loss) of our life force. With robbed life force, we may feel powerless, docile, easy to be controlled, and numb. Curiosity and hope disappear. Conversely, I believe that accepting and appreciating our own sexuality results in greater life force; physically more energetic, emotionally more open and present, and intellectually more inquisitive. We would be generally happier and tend to have more positive outlook on life.

What the westerners of 16th Century and 19th Century A.D. saw in Japanese people of their days was, in my view, this latter case of how openness to sexuality created happy, empowered, and inquisitive people.

[Beginning of Healing Inner Judge]

I would like to end this part by writing about my personal experiences of how sexual shaming with resulting self judgment, deprived my energy, and how my healing took place.

Years ago, I committed myself for my healing, more specifically in the healing modality called Pathwork. This was a 5-year training with one weekend training per month in Virginia. During this program, we did a Native American ceremony called a sweat lodge in an early winter month. Traditionally this ceremony is done by men only among the Native American tribes. But since our class consisted of men and women, this ceremony was conducted for both men and women. Each of us entered the sweat lodge ceremoniously in silence. After closing the entrance, I found inside to be pretty dark. For an hour or so, our teacher led us in singing and chanting. Hot stones were added time to time, and sprinkle of water were put on the heated stones. Very soon, inside the lodge was getting uncomfortably steamy and hot. We sweated so much so that ground were getting muddy from our sweat. Sweat lodge was a small space, and probably about 9–10 of us were inside sitting on the dirt ground side by side. When we entered, we had some loose clothes. But in no time, we were all virtually naked in the dark. Only light was coming from the red hot stone. I was sitting side by side with naked females and male classmates. Thinking of totally naked female classmates, I felt aroused. There, my nervous and angry inner judge came out, criticizing myself for having erotic imaginations. It was long before I ever had eyes on Tantra and sacred sexuality. I was rather traditional, in a sense that I thought it was not appropriate to feel erotic towards women other than my wife. This inner judging was terrible and depressed me. I felt really down. I was supposed to be in a vision quest or something noble! But I was feeling miserable from the self judgment. I asked for guidance desperately. And the guidance did come, in a form of inspirations. I was to become an observer of both the judge and the judged, the inner voice said to me. I saw my inner judge. He was angry. This “I” observing the inner judge was close to my higher self. This observer “I” felt compassion towards the inner judge. I somehow felt sad to see him acting judgmental. I asked him, “Why are you so critical of “me.” I watched him with love. He responded, saying, “I have to protect him (me) by making me “perfect! so that no one can criticize me.” I felt a sense of loneliness from my inner judge. I felt even deeper empathy towards my inner judge. I told him that I loved him. I felt a deep connection with him and I felt love for him. As he felt my love for him, I saw his tears. He softened. It seemed that he accepted my love for him. I felt love for him for who he was.

I started the sweat lodge with feeling depressed. As I was going through this process of loving my inner judge, I found myself no longer depressed. At that point I felt double love; I was love which felt empathy and love towards my inner judge; I was also the inner judge who felt loved and accepted for who he was. I was the lover and the loved, the judge and judged, all in one in love. With this union of the judge and the judged, the lover and the beloved, I felt blissful. This experience of bliss from self love and self acceptance was deeper and higher than pleasure of sexual fantasy. Therefore, the sexual fantasy melted away. I was immersed in the bliss of self love. In this bliss, I felt I did not need anything else.

The sexual fantasy did not depress me. It was the self rejection which depressed me. It was the self judgment which depleted my energy. And it was the self love and the self acceptance which healed me and elevated my energy. It was an important realization and lesson for me about the self love.

I came out of the dark, hot and steamy sweat lodge, and enjoyed early winter’s chilly air. I dived into a freezing pond which was right behind the sweat lodge. As soon as my body touched a freezing water, a shiver ran thru my body like an electric shock. After a few second in the pond, I came right out and laid down on the cold dirt ground naked. My body was tingling all over. The tingling was felt not just in my body but also a few feet outside my body. I felt tingling in places outside my body. That was a new experience! I assumed, then, that the tingling had to be coming from my spirit body.

After the ceremony, I headed to the dining room where light foods were prepared for us. I sat and picked fruits and placed them in my mouth. I felt the fruits touching the inner walls of my mouth. Just a moment! Usually I had not noticed fruits touching my inner mouth walls. I was in an altered state of mind. I was super sensitive. Sensing that touch between foods and my mouth made me feel orgasmic pleasure. It felt like sexual pleasure. Eating had been something I had been doing every day throughout my life. But I had never experienced such pleasure from the foods touching me. My senses seemed so heightened from the sweat lodge ceremony. I let the fruits inside my mouth roll around with my tongue. Every move brought more pleasurable sensation. A simple act of eating produced orgasm like pleasure! It was as though I was having sex with fruits. I wondered then, “Has this bliss been always in me?” “Have I been so numb to this bliss?” I had been missing out something so big all of my life!

I realized how numbed down I had become. I pondered why I had been numb to this bliss. I had entered into a healing journey in the past few years. So I had pretty good idea as to why I had been numbed down. I had built up all kinds of defenses to protect myself from a “dangerous world” since my childhood. I had suppressed my emotions to survive. I had been uncovering my unfelt emotions gradually. I knew my defenses and suppressed emotions were the causes of my numbing from experiencing bliss. I had learned that in order to feel love, pleasure and joy, I had to feel hate, pain, sorrow. I could not pick and choose which emotion to feel. It was all or nothing deal! I wondered and imagined how it would be like to be free from the defenses and the emotional suppression. What a blissful life would that be? My work to unclog and undone my defenses and to feel what was, was ahead of me, I determined!

Here, a new question arises. Where did my inner judge pick up this idea that my sexual fantasy was bad? Objectively speaking, sexual fantasy comes from sexual desires. Isn’t sexual desire a part of basic human desire, without which human beings would cease to exist within 100 years? Without the sexual desire, we would not engage in sex. Without sex, there would be no offsprings. Most of Japanese history, sexuality has been accepted, appreciated, honored, and enjoyed. Sexuality had permeated almost every aspect of her culture. The traditional Japanese word for the English word “Sex” has a different energy. It was called Maguai (目合い) and its literal translation is ”meeting thru eyes.” Eyes are windows to our souls. Therefore, Maguai means “Love making of souls!” This sex positive Japanese culture began its downward spiral about 150 years ago when the West knocked her door. This downward spiral was complete by maybe 50–60 years ago. Now hardly any Japanese people are aware of our rich sex positive culture. The knowledge and memory of the sex positive and vibrant Japan have been sealed from the people. If we google Yobai, we find mostly pornography videos. We have anesthesia about our rich and vibrant legacy. The very oldest earthward pottery in Japan was found from the period of about 14,500 B.C. It is most likely that communities in Japan practiced the sacred sexuality and it was a sex positive culture. It is therefore possible that the sacred sexuality had been practiced on these Islands of Japan for 16,000 years. After 16,000 some years of sex positive culture, we had suddenly a sex negative culture of 50 or so years. Yet, we think that our contemporary shame based sexuality is the truth, nothing but truth of our time! We think we are superior than the old. Are we? Really?

The roots of sexual shaming in Japan came from the West, more specifically from Christianity. In Part II, I would like to explore the origins of sexual shaming of the West. For this, I need to go back to the Ancient Israel of about 2,700 years ago. I will explore how sex positive ancient Israel turned its back on the sacred sexuality. I will look into how the sexual shaming got rooted in Japan in the past 100 years or so. By examining these processes, we will hopefully see that today’s shame based sexuality is not of divine inspiration, but conspired by just handful men hangry for power.