Julian Assange is headed to Ecuador, having been awarded asylum as reported in The Guardian.

Assuming he makes it out of the Ecuadorean embassy in London, onto a plane and out of Britain without arrest, what kind of a life does he face on landing in Quito? One thing's for sure – it'll definitely be different.

Here are our thoughts:

1. Get a job as a tour guide

Ecuador might be far (18-22 hours' flight from the UK, 4-5 from Miami) but it is a popular destination, with a heavy emphasis on eco-tourism. Having been holed up in one room of the Ecuadorean embassy for the past several weeks, you need some color in those pale cheeks. Why not become a mountain bike guide for starters? But remember, in the rain forest "bug" has a completely different meaning.

2. Appreciate the birds

A scarlet macaw in the Ecuadorian jungle Photograph: Mark Eveleigh/Alamy

There are 1,663 species in Ecuador, some of them quite spectacular. Enjoying the exotic beauty of these Amazonian creatures should give you a pleasant release from your recent legal worries.

3. Learn to kitesurf

Because you never know when you might need a quick getaway.

4. Explore the Galapagos Islands

A number of charter companies run luxury cruises offering "an unrivaled selection of exclusive options to the discerning traveler." Our favorite is the yacht, Grace. "Named after her late owner, Her Serene Highness Princess Grace of Monaco, the name is a representation of her elegance, beauty and prestige." Perfect for you! The yacht sleeps 18, and has everything you need - if 'everything' means safes, satellite telephones, television, video, and a Jacuzzi. Talk about a home away from home. You can be permanently on the move, while going – nowhere.

5. Get to know the Incas

Well, not personally, because they're dead. But they had a history you might be able to relate to. As Galapagos Online puts it: "If the local people opposed the laws, the emperor simply relocated large parts of the local population to another area in the empire and replaced them with colonists."

6. Know where your special vision can make a real difference

Listen to this blurb from EcuadoranExports.com:

"In the last few years, the Ecuadorian export community has stumbled upon a nontraditional export product: information services, particularly software. … Software development in the country has primarily been focused on software for financial institutions in Ecuador and abroad."

We see a natural lasting, relationship developing here.

7. Oh, but don't expect to live that long

We don't want to make you nervous, but the CIA says the average Ecuadorian male usually only lives till he's 73. Still, that gives you 32 years to get settled in.