On Wednesday, Congress overcame a slight technical difficulty to pass its estimated $1.5 trillion tax bill, formerly known as the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act, for a second time. The momentous occasion, which will culminate in a signing by Donald Trump at a time T.B.D., was so exciting that House Speaker Paul Ryan could barely keep it in his pants. Yet despite the fact that Trump stands to financially benefit from the bill beyond his wildest, most self-serving dreams, and that its passage represents his first concrete “achievement” since entering office, the Queens-born billionaire wasn’t in as jolly a mood as one might’ve expected; apparently the lack of media praise for a bill that will hurt large swaths of the American populous was really getting to him.

The amazing thing here is not that the president of the United States is stomping around like a spoiled child who received 39 of the 40 big-ticket items he asked for from Santa. It’s that he can’t fathom a scenario in which his tax bill wouldn’t be universally hailed by the media and the public, outside of a “FAKE NEWS” conspiracy. The president is not alone in this belief; yesterday, Paul Ryan insisted that the bill is only comically unpopular because “people . . . out there on TV [are] telling mistruths, disguising the facts of this thing.” Similarly, former Republican leadership aide John Feehery, told me on Wednesday that “Democrats are losing their minds [on the tax bill] because they hate Trump so much, because they’ve been fed a lot of nonsense by the media.” What sort of outrageous statements by the media have set Trump & Co.’s hair on fire? Perhaps this one from the Associated Press:

Or this one, from The New York Times:

Or this one from CNN:

Or this one from ABC News:

Or this one from The Wall Street Journal, that known purveyor of socialist propaganda:

In other words, the media reports that have so incensed Trump and his buddies are those that tell the truth about what the bill does. (To be fair, even if the press had “celebrated” the bill, it wouldn’t have been enough for Trump, whose desired level of praise would involve a ticker-tape parade down Fifth Avenue, which would then be re-named The Cut, Cut, Cut Act Drive.)

Luckily, his handlers were able to coax him out of his room with the promise of a Cabinet meeting all about how great he is. While it’s difficult to choose a highlight, our top contender is the prayer led by Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson, who thanked God for giving the U.S. such a “courageous” president and for granting us the “opportunity for our economy to expand so that we can fight the corrosive debt that has been destroying our future.” (God apparently understands that it’s O.K. to pass a bill that will add more than $1 trillion to the deficit so long as you immediately turn around and take away “entitlements” like Social Security and Medicare to pay for it). If only that celestial bastard would smite the liberal media, it would truly be a Christmas miracle.