Brandon Bitner was a straight-A student with a core group of friends.

A passionate violinist who brought down the house at his middle-school talent show, his audacity led him to don the black-clothing and eyeliner look of an “emo kid,” one who readily shows his emotions, in his rural Snyder County high school.

But for the better part of three years, Brandon struggled with the fact that school, which allowed him to find friends and an outlet for his creativity and intellect, was also his greatest torment.

It was a torment, the 14-year-old freshman at Midd-West High School wrote in his suicide note, that he felt powerless to prevent. Rather than endure another four years of being called "faggot" and "sissy," on Friday he stepped in front of a tractor-trailer rig on Routes 11/15 in Perry County.

As Brandon's family, including his cousin Katie Goodling, cope with their devastating loss, they are reaching out in hope no other child decides death is preferable to life.

“People have to know — and I’ve been getting his story out on Twitter, Facebook so people can read it — that this can happen to anyone, even people you don’t suspect,” Goodling said.

Brandon’s death is the latest in a spate of youth suicides in the midstate, including a 13-year-old Cumberland County girl who died recently in Dauphin County.

Nationwide, the bullying-related deaths of students ranging from 11-year-old Georgia elementary school student Jaheem Herrara to Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi have grabbed headlines.

The resulting uproar has led to an outpouring of support for bullied kids, including celebrity videotaped testimonials of surviving childhood bullying through the It Gets Better Project.

Wesley Knapp, superintendent of the Midd-West School District, said he received no reports of Brandon’s bullying at the high school aside from a humiliating incident in the high school cafeteria days before Bitner’s death.

He was still trying to figure out what happened when Bitner took his life, he said.

Instead, the district lowered flags to half-staff in his memory and is planning a memorial.

“I’ve been questioning myself,” Knapp said. “We can’t be too conscientious. If we see a kid who seems to be hurting, we need to single them out [for help]. The fact they don’t report it doesn’t let us off the hook. We need to reach out to kids. We’re going to try and do a better job.”

Stephanie Hill of Selinsgrove is a close friend of Tammy Simpson, Brandon’s mother, and knew Brandon from childhood.

Hill said she knew Brandon had been to counseling to cope with middle-school teasing and it seemed to help for a time. Then he stopped, she said.

Hill knew he was having difficulties in high school and they talked about it, she said. She even told him “high school doesn’t last forever.”

In response to several local suicides, 19-year-old Harrisburg Area Community College student Alexa Kylen started PleaseLive.org, a resource for anyone struggling with suicide or suicidal thoughts.

Kylen said not only do youth battle the societal stigma still attached to mental illness, they fight with the very real — but not always accurate — fear that reporting depression or suicidal thoughts to their parents will lead to punishment.

“I tell them a vast majority of parents won’t be angry or yell at them,” Kylen said. “They’ll be worried. They’ll say, ‘Let’s get help.’ They’ll be glad you told them.”

And if child’s home life can’t guarantee that response, Kylen said, there are a host of people, herself included, who care enough about young lives to connect them to people who will.

Spurred by the 2003 suicides of three youths within four months of one another, including the son of a friend, Potter County Senior Judge John B. Leete worked to bring the Yellow Ribbon campaign to his hometown.

The campaign, which began in Colorado, lets young people know it’s “It’s OK to Ask 4 Help,” through a series of assemblies, small-group activities and workshops for children that boost self-esteem, Leete said.

Adults, Leete said, don’t have the luxury of picking and choosing which kids to help. Every child’s life is precious, he said.

“[Kids] can’t indulge in the feeling that the world is better off without them because it’s not. They leave heartache, devastation and a million what-ifs,” Leete said.

Where to get help

PleaseLive.org

CONTACT Helpline

Holy Spirit Teenline

The Trevor Project (for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth):

If you need immediate help with suicidal thoughts or actions, call 911.

How parents can help their bullied or excluded children

Never tell a bullied child to ignore bullies and walk away, that bullies are “just jealous” or that you “know how a child feels.” Vague references to the future are equally ineffective. Using adult logic on kids won’t work.

Instead of offering well-meaning cliches, find your child a fresh social outlet where he or she can make new friends. A priority must be finding new friends with whom your child can feel a genuine connection. Good places to start are local recreational organizations or libraries in an adjacent town. New friends can literally be a lifeline.

Ask your child if other children are being bullied in school and reach out to their parents, forging a parent coalition. Schools might ignore one parent, but there’s credibility in unity.

Keep a journal of abuses, jotting down dates, times and details. Print every bullying chat session, text message exchange, Facebook exchange.

When you approach your child’s school, keep taking it up the chain of command. If the principal doesn’t give you a response, go to the superintendent. If that doesn’t work, take your case to the next public school board meeting. Air your grievances and documentation.

If that doesn’t work, contact the education reporter at the local newspaper. You’d be surprised how quickly school administrators will respond when reporters are asking questions.

Don’t give up. Keep fighting for your child’s rights and remember you are not alone. There are people who can help.

Source: Jodee Blanco, author of "Please Stop Laughing At Me."

Editor's note: As a policy, The Patriot-News generally does not name victims of suicide. However, Brandon Bitner's family permitted us to identify him in the hope his story will help others realize there are alternatives.