Jarviscockup Fri 05-Oct-18 09:33:08

Please make me feel better.

In traffic, en route to work. Felt the rumblings of an imminent trump. Tried to squeeze it out and shat myself.

What then followed was the worst stomach cramps I've felt in a while, along with what can only be described as a warm oozing sensation. I couldn't hold it in!

Immediately did a U-turn and drove home to the privacy of my toilet. And my shower.

I don't think it's a bug so I'm still planning on going to work. It's ovulation time though and for some reason that always sends my bowels a bit funny.

The worst part is it leaked onto the interior of my car, so now I have a small brown stripe of shame in the driver's seat.

How's your Friday morning going?