The Straight Scoop on the George Foreman Grill

Not everybody can go on in a boxing career for their entire lives. As spoken by the character Marcellus Wallace in "Pulp Fiction", "How many fights you got left in you? One? Two?" Yes, it's only a matter of time before you get owned in this business, and then you have to ride on your previous fame in some other line of work. After all, it's not like taking full force punches to the head for a living for several years prepares you for a career in accounting.

And let's be up front about this: movie roles are for the dogs. Movie roles for ex-boxers and ex-wrestlers are the most pathetic public humiliation that a human being can endure. One need not mention names - these poor suffering souls have had enough ridicule to last a lifetime already - but movie and TV roles tailor-made for boxers and wrestlers are straight-to-video (not decent enough for DVD) bottom-shelf losers, which not even the producers can bring themselves to watch, made solely to fulfill a contract entered into by some schmoozey Hollywood agent. No, that way lies existential defeat.

What you want to do is get into product endorsement. And there's just one reason that the George Foreman Grill is not, instead, called the Hulk Hogan Grill: the Hulkster failed to return the phone call. It's easy to see why. The Hulkomaniac was enjoying an unprecedented surge in his film career success, his Thespian talents - lying dormant those many years of pretending to throw people onto a canvas mat - bursting forth in such cinematic high art as "No Holds Barred", "Suburban Commando", and of course the unforgettable "Mr. Nanny". About the time of the grill deal, the Hoganator was on his way to greater silver screen accomplishment in "Santa With Muscles". Who could blame him for thinking at the time that a kitchen appliance endorsement was beneath him? It was only cold fate that the world failed to recognize him for the true talent that he was that reduced Sir Hogan Hulkalot to later be stuck endorsing the failed Thunder Mixer.

George, on the other hand, was sitting on the couch with nothing to do when the phone rang. Would he endorse their grill? Shoot, yes! He would get jiggy with it. Let that be a lesson to all of you.

And what a deal the grill was, too; a handsome device that anyone could endorse with pride. The George Foreman Grill features a clam-shell design with top and bottom teflon-coated heating surfaces, and a slightly slanted bottom grated surface which allows fat and other coagulants to sluice down and away from the grilling, tasty food items. The floating hinge allows the grill to remain in close contact with both the top and bottom of foods of various thicknesses, making any haunch of meat a candidate for a counter-top barbecuing. In 2006 a Next Generation Health Grill was launched, aimed at the newly health-conscious young peoples' market. Foreman's grill has many uses from the obvious grilling meats, to a panini grill or to cook sandwiches or quesadillas. It has been a mainstay in college dorm rooms, fraternity houses, and harried city apartment dwellings for close to a decade.

Since its introduction in 1995, an amazing 55 million grills have been sold. George Foreman himself has made over $150 million from the sales of the grills, which is more money than he made during his entire boxing career. The grill that knocks out fat has made him a happy retired boxer.

But this cannot be said to be George's greatest success. And his Heavyweight Titles, while nothing to sneeze at, aren't really his greatest accomplishment. No, his single greatest claim to greatness is that he found a way to survive after retirement without having to turn up for a single foot of footage in a humiliating film. There are no horrendous movies starring George Foreman on the steal-it-please shelf at the 99-cent video store. This, alone, would qualify him for an Academy and Golden Globe award, but you can of course understand that a nice guy like Foreman is too modest to pick them up. He was in the right place at the right time and that's all he needed to be.