“Mueller wrote Barr a letter complaining that Barr ‘did not fully capture the context, nature, and substance’ of Mueller’s work. ‘Context, nature, and substance.’ That is, uh — that is everything. That’s like saying, ‘I really like what you did with this, you know, car, except the wheels, the engine and the car.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Going from Barr’s summary to the actual Mueller report is like being told how the stork brought your baby brother and watching the video of the actual childbirth — very different experiences.” — TREVOR NOAH

“You can’t boil a report that long down to four pages, and you shouldn’t try. That’s like saying the battle of Winterfell was about a dude who smoked too much weed and thought he was a bird.” — SETH MEYERS