This isolation is partly explained by our community’s extraordinary place in history. Many of us lost lovers, friends and family in the depths of the H.I.V./AIDS epidemic, so we find ourselves short on these lifelines just when we need them most. (This might also help explain why the situation is more difficult for gay men than it is for lesbians: The study I noted previously showed that lesbians “tended to have networks that were more resilient and showed less fluctuation in response to changes with aging,” probably because their support networks were not nearly as devastated by H.I.V./AIDS as gay men’s were.) Those who survived the plague can only be grateful — yet, like you, these losses continue to prick our hearts.

But before we start taking meds, host pity parties or just become shut-ins, let’s remember that our generation is still one powerfully large cohort, and our sheer numbers dictate that we confront ageism in our community. Consider Stu Maddux’s award-winning documentary, “Gen Silent,” which garnered so much attention by putting a face on the plight of older members of our community. “They’re often afraid to ask for help or are isolated from their families,” Mr. Maddux told me, adding, “The good news is that mainstream aging organizations are waking up and realizing, yes, these folks do have unique issues we have to address.”

So if you’re determined to find friends or even lovers, of any age, what do you do? First off, you’ve got to be willing to go out into the world or you’re not going to meet people, period. If bars don’t work for you, stay out of them. Second, friendships can’t be taken for granted or put on autopilot; in fact they often take more energy than what some people are willing to invest in them. Ask yourself: Are you willing to do that?

If the answer is yes, start by doing a quick search for your nearest L.G.B.T. community center; you’ll probably be amazed by the number of activities on tap like those at the William Way Center near you in Philadelphia. Nationwide, our generation has founded its own social and support networks, like Prime Timers Worldwide (with more than 80 chapters in the United States and a smattering overseas), Old Lesbians Organizing for Change and the National Association of Black and White Men Together.

But let’s not completely write off the Millennials and Gen Xers, many of who are interested in befriending folks our age (if not seeking more). As a 30-year-old posted on my Facebook page in response to your question, “I find having friends who are gay and older helps me learn about the gay community’s past struggles and truly understand where we have come from, where we are now, and where we’re going as a society.” Another, a happily partnered woman, suggested that you “Look for people who like older people and enjoy being with them. They’re out there to be found. I know, because one found me.”