BANFF, AB – Thousands of Parks Canada wildlife employees are still waiting to have their pay issues resolved three years after the seriously flawed Phoenix pay system was implemented for all federal employees.

Grizzly and black bear workers have been hit especially hard with underpayments, over-payments, and non-payments while they continue to work by majestically roaming Canada’s national parks entertaining hundreds of thousands of tourists each year.

“I just came out of hibernation to find out the Pay Centre has ignored my repeated requests to fix my underpayments,” said one irate Grizzly Bear. “My classification is a GZ-04, but that got switched me to a GZ-02 for no apparent reason. I can barely afford to live in my den and banks refuse to give me loans on the count that I am a bear.”

Frustration and despair has struck the morale of Canada’s wild civil service with many highly skilled animals leaving Parks Canada to take on positions at nearby provincial parks or freelance nature work.

“It’s humiliating to spend my days over a phone waiting for someone to pick up the phone at the pay centre, repeat my PRI, and then be told that they’re still working on my problem,” said a black bear who is trying to fix errors related to her maternity leave. “I have two cubs to wean!”

“And of course they screwed up my T-4,” added the bear, her claw pointing at the mistakes to each box on her pay record. “I knew I should have taken that zoo position years ago.”