DUMB ALL OVER Whoever we are

Wherever we're from

We shoulda noticed by now

Our behavior is dumb

And if our chances

Expect to improve

It's gonna take a lot more

Than tryin' to remove

The other race

Or the other whatever

From the face

Of the planet altogether



They call it the earth

Which is a dumb kinda name

But they named it right

'cause we behave the same...

We are dumb all over

Dumb all over,

Yes we are

Dumb all over,

Near 'n far

Dumb all over,

Black 'n white

People, we is not wrapped tight



Nerds on the left

Nerds on the right

Religious fanatics

On the air every night

Sayin' the bible

Tells the story

Makes the details

Sound real gory

'bout what to do

If the geeks over there

Don't believe in the book

We got over here



You can't run a race

Without no feet

'n pretty soon

There won't be no street

For dummies to jog on

Or doggies to dog on

Religious fanatics

Can make it be all gone

(I mean it won't blow up

?n disappear

It'll just look ugly

For a thousand years...)



You can't run a country

By a book of religion

Not by a heap

Or a lump or a smidgeon

Of foolish rules

Of ancient date

Designed to make

You all feel great

While you fold, spindle

And mutilate

Those unbelievers

From a neighboring state



To arms! to arms!

Hooray! that's great

Two legs ain't bad

Unless there's a crate

They ship the parts

To mama in

For souvenirs: two ears (get down!)

Not his, not hers, (but what the hey? )

The good book says:

("it gotta be that way!")

But their book says:

"revenge the crusades...

With whips 'n chains

'n hand grenades..."

Two arms' two arms?

Have another and another

Our God says:

"there ain't no other!"

Our God says

"it's all okay!"

Our God says

"this is the way!"



It says in the book:

"burn 'n destroy...

?n repent, 'n redeem

?n revenge, 'n deploy

'n rumble thee forth

To the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side

'cause they don't go for what's in the book

'n that makes 'em bad

So verily we must choppeth them up

And stompeth them down

Or rent a nice French bomb

To poof them out of existence

While leaving their real estate just where we need it

To use again

For temples in which to praise our god

("cause he can really take care of business!")



And when his humble TV servant

With humble white hair

And humble glasses

And a nice brown suit

And maybe a blond wife who takes phone calls

Tells us our God says

It's okay to do this stuff

Then we gotta do it,

'cause if we don't do it,

We ain't gwine up to hebbin!

(depending on which book you're using at the

Time...can't use theirs... it don't work

...it's all lies...gotta use mine...)

Ain't that right?

That's what they say

Every night...

Every day...

Hey, we can't really be dumb

If we're just following God's orders

Hey, let's get serious...

God knows what He's doin'

He wrote this book here

An? the book says:

He made us all to be just like him,"

So...

If we're dumb...

Then God is dumb...

(an' maybe even a little ugly on the side)



CHURCH CHAT (Somebody in the crowd yells in something in French... what is it?)



You know today the church is in a terrible state. The bucks just aren't rollin' in like they used to. And when the bucks don't come in, the church comes up with a new gimmick to make you spend to Heaven.



Now I know you don't know what I'm talking about, but what the f**k. But anyway, listen to this ladies and gentlemen, when the church wants to get your money they remind you about hell. (whoo-ho-ha-ha)



If you commit a sin you're gonna go to hell. (oui-oui)



Well let me give you an example, this boy over here; Tell em about it brother Zappa.



Sometimes people say: that if you f**k somebody (oh lord) it's a sin, (oui-oui) this may or may not be true.



(testify)



This boy not only f**ked somebody with his organ, but he also f**ked a girl with a guitar, with an umbrella, with a zucchini,

with a shoe, with an enema bag . . .



What else did you do? A vibrato bar. A vibrato bar!



Some people would say this is a sin. and if you sin you're gonna go to hell.



Well ladies and gentlemen: There ain't no hell. (oui) There is no such thing as hell. (oui) There is no hell, there is only France! (oui-oui) (Oui, oui)

Frank Zappa made the following statement... "If you want to get together in any exclusive situation and have people love you, fine - but to hang all this desperate sociology on the idea of The Cloud-Guy who has The Big Book, who knows if you've been bad or good - and CARES about any of it - to hang it all on that, folks, is the chimpanzee part of the brain working." [The Real Frank Zappa Book, ("Church and State" chapter) by Frank Zappa and Peter Occhiogrosso, p. 301]