Bloomberg Uses Money Cheat Code to Access Debate Stage

LAS VEGAS — Alleged Democratic Presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg has reportedly exploited a cheat code which converts his collected funds into access to tonight’s Democratic Debate.

“‘I’m sorry, but how is this even remotely fair?” asked Lynnette Caldwell, a registered Democratic voter and Las Vegas resident. “Whether you like them or not, no one can deny that everyone else on this stage got here by fighting their way through each level of this campaign and besting their competitors. For someone to show up late like this and just get right on stage, well I don’t know, it sort of makes the whole game feel trivial.”

Bloomberg defended his use of the exploit, claiming there was nothing immoral about employing a strategic advantage.

“I know I’m being portrayed as some sort of out of touch billionaire that is trying to buy his way in, but that’s not true,” said Bloomberg. “I’m just like all of you, I have the guy put my pants on one leg at a time. I just need to do everything I can to get my message heard by the American people. It would appear that they’re not interested, so I had to do what I had to do!”

The money cheat code is famously one of the biggest bugs in the programming of the democracy engine. Other notable hackers who have abused it in the past to great results include Steve Forbes, Ross Perot, and Betsy DeVos.

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