ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

“It is simply the highest honour one can receive in this industry,” he said.

“If He can postpone the rapture until I make it over to Cannes next year to attend the ceremony, I’d be eternally grateful.”

The Prime Minister’s response to the ongoing bushfire crisis has been nominated for a Cannes Lion, the creative organisation said this morning.

A full-list of nominees for the awards that various advertising slash marketing agencies have in their reception is available via the Cannes website.

A Cannes Lion is a big deal – but only if you win one. Otherwise, it’s just another trash popularity contest – according to the Prime Minister’s Office.

It’s the first time a sitting prime minister has been nominated for such an award. John [Howard] was said to be ‘livid’ when his decision to wear a bulletproof vest to a 1996 pro-gun rally wasn’t even sneezed at by the ‘collarless freaks’ at Cannes.

Speaking to this morning on Cronulla Beach, Scott Morrison, who looked liked he’d just rolled out of bed which is very relatable to Quiet Australians at this time of year because, you know, everyone’s up to fuck all – except for the people working to keep the fabric of this burning nation together, explained he was ‘chuffed’ but also had to add that ‘the job isn’t over yet’.

“Well, as an ad man, there’s nothing sweeter,” he said.

Scott looked at the sand at his feet and smiled.

“You know that God grants you eternal life. Eternity is a greater number than the number of grains of sand on this beach that we’re standing on today. From the rocks down there, all the way up to Boat Harbour. Every grain of sand doesn’t equal eternity. Every grain of sand, it’s a finite number. Eternity is an infinite number. That’s God’s love for you, eternal and infinite,”

“How good?”

Some of the reporters wondered if that was a rhetorical question, others tried to answer it.

“Not that good,” said one from the ABC.

Scott looked at the sand again around his feet.

“I think you’ll find it’s pretty good.”

Scott looked up to see the crews already packing up the cameras, reporters now looking at their phones.

So he smiled and looked back down at the sand again.

“Every grain of sand,” he said to himself.

“Eternity.”

More to come.





