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In 2001, Ranjit Chandra had published a study in Nutrition Research, which is just as exciting as it sounds, about how some multivitamins he had patented could reverse memory problems in old folks. Curiously, the exact same paper had been submitted to the British Medical Journal and had been rejected after reviewers said it had "all the hallmarks of having been completely invented." So it was the medical equivalent of everything Scientologists believe; only pawned off as real. So it was like everything Scientologists believe.

Unfortunately for Chandra, he hadn't just lied, he lied big. If you're a hunter and you claim to have shot a deer that was the size of a dump truck, most folks will smile and nod and let it go at that. If you claim to have shot Bigfoot and have his carcass at home and write a paper about it and submit it to world famous journals for others to read about, you have committed what some people refer to as "lying like a retard."

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The claims Chandra made in his study were so amazing they started getting mainstream media attention and were printed in the New York Times which meant more people who can tell their assholes from grape jelly got a hold of it and noticed he was full of shit. This in turn lead people to wonder what else the good doctor had been doing all his life.

In the 1980s, Chandra was contracted by Ross Pharmaceuticals, now Abbott Nutrition, and makers of such things as Similac, Ensure and other vaguely nauseating healthy liquids, to do a study on their products and food allergies in newborns. Nestle and Mead Johnson hopped on board as well and Chandra just needed to find 288 newborns to do his work.

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"Dammit, we need more babies."

A year later, the study was done despite the fact he didn't have nearly enough babies. Now that's Science! More impressive than how Chandra got the study done was his results that showed the Nestle and Mead Johnson formulas protected babies from allergies but the Ross Pharmaceuticals brands did not, even though they make the stuff from pretty much the same ingredients.