By David Futrelle

I suppose I should begin my telling you what the dogpill is, in case you don’t already know. And I should probably apologize in advance, because things are about to get really, really gross.

So. “The dogpill” is the notion — popular amongst incels and, to a lesser extent, among MGTOWs — that women are generally such depraved creatures that a significant portion of them would prefer to have sex with actual dogs rather than with all those nice young fellows they’ve put in their respective friend zones. It goes without saying that incels, ranking lower than even nice guys in every woman’s ranking of possible sex partners, can never hope to compete with even the mangiest of curs.

And no, the dogpill isn’t just a trolly joke amongst incels. While they certainly do joke about it, it’s pretty clear that a lot of them really do spend time feeling sorry for themselves because they’ve convinced themselves a significant portion of the female population is regularly fucking dogs. (Incels have similar theories about women and horses.)

Some incels also devote a great deal of attention to trying to figure out just how exactly these mysterious females determine when they’ll fuck men and when they’ll turn instead to their beasts.

For one commenter on the Incels.is forums, it all comes down to Chad Availability. But women, he adds, also distinguish between sexy Chad dogs and much less appealing tiny dogs.

For another Incels.is commenter called Uglyman, it all comes down to analyzing the ultimate purpose of sex.

“When a woman fucks a man,” he uglymansplains,

she gets turned on by him because subconsciously she wants him to imprengate her. She might have protected sex but the reproductive instinct is still there no matter how many contraceptives she takes. A woman wanting to have sex with man=she wants his genes, she wants to risk pregnancy.

I … don’t think that’s exactly true, my man, but continue.

Femoids will never have sex with incels because incels are not worthy of passing down their genes. In other words, they won’t fuck you because they don’t want your children. Being attractive as a man is all about being daddy material whether she realizes it or not.

I’m pretty sure a much bigger reason women won’t fuck you is that they can tell you’re the kind of dude who goes around calling women “femoids,” but whatever, he’s about to get to the dog part.

Now, dogs, cats, other women, objects, they will not get a woman pregnant. She fucks these things for the pleasure of it, it’s basically kinky masturbation. Heterosexual sex for a woman=reproduction, sex with anything else=masturbation.

So dogs are just big furry vibrators that can lick their own balls?

Comparing yourself to dogs and objects is redundant because you are judged on completely different stardards comapred to these things. It’s like apples and oranges. You are not competing with dogs, you are competing with other men and you are losing because your genes aren’t worth being passed on.

I don’t know from genes, but, again, I’m pretty sure the real reason women aren’t fucking you because your heads are filled to overflowing with this toxic mixture of misogyny and self-hatred.

I mean, come on, dudes, get the fuck over this shit. There’s more to life than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and getting jealous of the imaginary sex lives of dogs.

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