From the U.S. to Ireland, from the U.K. to Australia and Taiwan, people are buying up insane amounts of toilet paper. I mean, look at this. What is going on with all this pandemic panic- buying? Coronavirus causes several symptoms, but diarrhea is not that common among them — at least not common enough to need a lot of this in a hurry. Do these people know something we don’t? Toilet paper, the ultimate quarantine essential, used since the days of the Black Death to ward off disease. It’s incredibly versatile. It makes a delicious meal. Face mask. A comfy pillow. Cozy scarf. Hot date. Fetching hat. No, coronavirus probably won’t make you soil your pants, but panic-buying kind of should. Consumers tend not to think about it, but buying more than our fair share of something means other people won’t get theirs. And that’s usually people on lower incomes who can’t afford to drop 100 bucks on a trolley full of triple ply. And the sight of empty shelves tricks other shoppers into panicking and the whole thing starts to spread like, well, you know. So look, realistically, you should stock up on some things just in case you and your family need to isolate yourselves in the near future. Canned dry and frozen foods are all good as well as drinks and of course, any medication. But you only need enough for a couple of weeks. That’s the general length of a coronavirus quarantine. Stockpile more and we might all find that sense of being in control is forever slipping out of our grasp.