A provocative campaign to highlight awareness of male suicide is to be launched amid concerns that it remains the UK’s single biggest cause of death among men under the age of 45, while the number of women taking their lives has fallen significantly.

Figures collated by the Campaign Against Living Miserably (Calm) show there were 4,623 male suicides in the UK in 2014, the second highest number in 15 years and the equivalent of 12 deaths a day. Three-quarters of suicides in the UK are by men, but Jane Powell, chief executive of Calm, said there was “no effort to get a handle on the scale of the issue, no support for the suicidal”.

She added: “The figures stay the same because nationally we don’t do anything about it. We don’t look at the position of men in society – we might know that more men take their lives, but this isn’t taken into consideration. When it comes to suicide prevention, we are almost gender-blind.”

Powell drew comparisons with breast cancer campaigns targeted at women. “We don’t look at suicide prevention messages with men in mind, and certainly not with any level of sophistication. Putting a man holding his head on a leaflet isn’t going to work.

“I’ve seen suicide prevention policies launched with aplomb in parliament, where the actions and budgets have been decided, plans arranged, and yet no thought at that point, the point of the launch, had been given about how to reach men. This beggars belief. No corporate brand aimed at men would get away with such action.”

In response to this perceived failure, Calm will launch the #BiggerIssues campaign on Mondayto highlight how little attention society gives to male suicide. The campaign on social media will update every two hours – to recognise the fact that a man takes his life in the UK every 120 minutes.

The rapper Professor Green, a Calm patron, presented a BBC documentary in which he talked about the death of his father, Peter, who killed himself seven years ago. The documentary triggered a national debate, but Powell said it was still the case that the problem often received attention only in the aftermath of tragic events, such as the suicide of the former footballer and Wales manager Gary Speed.

Calls to Calm’s helpline (0800 58 58 58) suggest that it is a myth that men do not want to talk about their problems. “But too often they don’t feel comfortable doing so with friends, family and colleagues,” Powell said. “We see from the research that men feel they shouldn’t need such support, that they are failing as a man when feeling suicidal.”

Robert Stringer, the father of 18-year-old Hector, who took his life in 2011, agrees. “Wives and partners often wish for men to be in touch with their feminine sides so that they understand how they feel, but the minute a man bursts into tears and appears to ‘lose control’ or be less of a man they are truly shocked and don’t really like it.

“Men should be dynamic, problem-solving, in control, go-getting, vital, successful and soft as and when required. Men’s magazines are about tight abs, not how you feel. Currently there is no real way of reaching men to discuss how they feel. As a bloke, if you go out with your mates, you drink a few pints, you talk sport, you might moan about the missus, but you won’t talk about your feelings, about how you can’t cope. Your mates would run a mile. They don’t know how to talk themselves. Men don’t; it is not seemly.”

Female suicides have fallen by almost 40%, from 2,466 in 1981 to 1,486 last year. Powell said some of the decline could be a result of changes in the workplace and home which had improved life for many women but left men unsure of their role.

“I think the ability of women to fulfil themselves, at work or at home, has been liberating – and these changes seem to track the downward drop of female suicide,” Powell said. “The message to men is that to be a real ‘man’ you shouldn’t have such ‘female’ qualities. While I think that life has got much better for women over the past 30 or 40 years, it hasn’t for men.”

Stringer acknowledged that it could be difficult to spot men at risk. “How do you know if they are suicidal? It is about having time to ask the question and mean it, and then to listen very carefully. Knowing what I know now, I would sit Hector down, one to one, and ask the question and wait. We talked a lot as a family, but we missed some nuances of Hector’s communications. Hector needed to know he could discuss his deeply held feelings with us without any uncomfortable response from us.”

Stringer added: “Don’t take people’s responses at face value, and never worry about taking time to truly find out how people are feeling. Also, asking someone whether they have thought about suicide will not cause them to do it.”

In the UK, The Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.