For fuck's sake by Dennis Johnson

In Columbia, Tennessee, one of the patrons of the Maury County Public Library has decided that there’s a problem with modern fiction, and has taken to signing out novels — especially mystery novels — with one particular word in them, blacking out the word, and returning the books.

The word? “It’s the ‘f’ word,” said library director Elizabeth Potts.

According to a story from local News Channel 5, staffers at the library suffering from numerical hesitancy have found “50 to 100 books copy edited, illegally.”

However, “Staff can not locate the offender because federal law protects patrons,” says the report. Exactly what federal law “is tying the hands of the library director” from looking at who signed out a book and fining that person for damaging the book — as they would be able to do if a patron hadn’t returned a book at all — is unclear. The article merely says it’s “a federal library law that protects privacy.” So God knows what they would have done if the same federal government, under the Patriot Act, had demanded to see who signed out what.

Meanwhile, the director has put up a sign, asking whoever it is to stop that shit.