So there I was, just sitting around after going shopping. Some thought was annoying me, attempting to claw its way into my consciousness…wait! My wife had asked me to pick her up some graham crackers, and I just realized that those are the base ingrediENT in firecrackers!

Now, back in the sixties and seventies, nobody cooked with marijuana — except brownies, of course. And the only reason anyone thought of brownies is because of a 300-year-old recipe book (OK, actually from 1954) that talked about them (OK, there was actually a related movie in 1968). But considering we were all expanding our minds back then, it’s a bit sad that nobody went any further in the realm of cooking. Of course, all the presENT medical and chemical knowledge of how cannabinoids work came after that.

So these days, we know more about the various compounds in cannabis, and how to efficiENTly extract them by cooking with foods high in fats or oils or alcohols. And that’s how some anonymous genius came up with the idea of adding pot to peanut butter, throwing it in an oven on top of a graham cracker, and getting a powerful edible that was immediately named “firecrackers”.

But I hate peanut butter, so I figured Nutella would work just as well, if not better…there’s plENTy of fat in there. I had also heard that firecrackers taste terrible, and what fun is eating if it doesn’t taste good? So I did some research on the Internet to get the best suggestions, and even found other people who had used Nutella, including this thread on /r/trees which I had forgotten about.

Anyway, I essENTially used the wonderful illustrated guide that xerexerex found (with one exception which I’ll detail later). You take two graham crackers, and coat one side of each with Nutella, but not all the way to the edge. Then you sprinkle ground bud on the Nutella. Then coat two more crackers with Nutella, and put them face down on the first ones, making two little “sandwiches”. Then you wrap each one in aluminum foil, and put them in the oven. The one substantial change I made to this recipe was to heat it differently to avoid losing THC: I used 22 minutes at 250°F.

I noticed a few differences between my recipe and others. First, to me at least, using Nutella was a win. While it didn’t taste great, it didn’t taste bad, either…kind of neutral if anything.

The other difference was that the illustrated recipe says that each “sandwich” is a dose. I got slightly different results.

I ate one and tripped balls.

I’m talking Level 14 kind of tripping. The kind where not only couldn’t I move (and I was surprised too, because it took a full 90 minutes to kick in), but I felt like I was watching a parallel universe where my son was sitting at the computer but he couldn’t see me because I was on the other side of the dimensional barrier.

Dig this: I was sitting in one of those camping chairs that happened to be in the hall after Thanksgiving. Every time my son walked past me, I laughed my head off — I’m sure he thought I was out of my mind, and he’d have been right. What was so funny? The idea that these chairs all had labels showing their fabric content, but not one word about how fast they were! Because as I was sitting there, I could feel myself moving through space at high speed, as an inhabitant of the planet Earth. I felt exactly like this.

At one point, I distinctly remember calculating my exact highness by some insane algorithm, and then validating it by concluding, “Hey, I’m Old Hippie! And if I say I’m at Level 14, then by god I’m at Level 14!” It took 45 minutes before I felt able to stand up and walk with dignity to my bedroom (OK, I crept along the hall like an old man…and now I know why they walk like that!), where I promptly fell asleep for 9 hours and woke up stoned out of my mind.

I therefore highly recommend starting with only 1/4 of the cracker to start, and wait a full two hours afterwards before you try more.

So, as I’ve told people quite a few times (but never seem to listen myself, to my family’s dismay): be damn careful with new edibles!!!