You may have seen a lot written about twin flame signs. Some of it may have resonated, some not. I come with my own take on it. It’s different from many. Perhaps, because I don’t quite know how to put a spiritual experience into the language of science, nor can I express a twin flame connection in purely emotional terms.

How can we explain the meeting of souls, the activation at the highest levels by some points to tick off? It’s beyond human expression. And yet, each time I hear another story, there are familiar signs, and I know — this is a twin flame. There is no test on whether you are a twin flame or not — and yet we have a road map to recognition. Pointers on the way — or reminders of how it all began.

Want to know what my pointers are? Here are some of the most important ones:

1. New Beginnings

You feel disconnected from what used to matter in life. Life, as you know it, stops making sense. The plans that you had for your work, your future, your children, for what your life would look like 10 years ahead — suddenly seem meaningless, ridiculous, and small. Like choosing a dime over a pearl worth thousands of dollars.

Behold, I make everything new…

2. Connection.

You feel a deep immediate connection, a recognition of a kindred soul. Whether you know about twin flames or not, whether you are interested in a relationship or not, you feel an immediate spark that tells you there is something special, something different about this person.

Not all twin flames want to be in a committed relationship, although because of the way we are taught to see the world, we usually interpret twin flame connection in relationship terms. However, many met their twin flame in a stage and situation in life when looking for a relationship was the last thing on their (at least conscious) mind. It has often been a great shock to the system, threatening to destroy life as they knew it.

Twin flame connections go above and beyond what we know about relationships. Therefore, each couple has to learn their own ways of dancing with each other in the physical reality.

3. Paradigm Shift.

Instant shift in perspective, although it can take a while before it trickles down into the conscious awareness. The story of your past is re-written and re-evaluated. This may take on different forms. For some of us, meeting the twin flame immediately brought up the wounds and secrets of the past that we thought we had dealt with long ago, but that we needed to go in and work through more deeply, sometimes for years, fearlessly, in order to heal and transform. For others, the meeting shed light on their stories, all the “why”s of their lives, giving meaning to past pain and struggle.

4. Awareness.

You become more connected to your soul. Oftentimes, we don’t even know how to connect to one, perhaps we don’t even believe in the existence of a soul, or we think it’s just something that animates our body. Therefore, this stage often begins as activation and balancing of the chakras and the meridian system, or a kundalini awakening. Again, the experience of this is highly individual, but it eventually leads to higher awareness of the I AM presence.

5. Non-Duality and Oneness.

I call this the awareness of oneness. Twin Flames are called to unite polarities. It is for this reason they often (not always!) incarnate in opposing social systems, enemy countries, different religions, and so on. On a human level, these relationships are unsustainable. It is only when the couple reaches a higher awareness of oneness that this polarity begins to make sense and bring joy.

While on the surface, some twin flames take widely divergent paths, they work as one, striving to unite the opposites through awareness of a higher truth that includes both, and yet is higher than either. You may choose to learn about your twin’s religion, culture, language — because you want to know what it’s like to be him or her. To experience God through him. This is an important step on the path to Union.

6. Destruction.

A gradual breaking down of your own belief systems, future plans and everything you held stable. This is very often accompanied by loss of material possessions, or at the very least a spell of uncertainty about life. While terrifying, this is normal.

The universe is purging you, and preparing you for the mission. Your own soul is orchestrating these events. Some of these are harder than others, depending on your level of attachment, but we all have to go through the dark night of the soul on this journey – and by that I mean a VERY dark night. It will require extraordinary courage and faith. But you are ready, or you wouldn’t have started on this path.

Twin flame path is, ultimately, a mystical journey, and a journey of purification. Every mystic needs to have the courage to delve deep into the darkness in order to be cleansed and cleared of the old and filled with the new. The pain of separation, the awareness of your shortcomings, the inability to sustain the initial experience of Union — all of this initiates the dark night of the soul that forces us to face our deepest darkest demons. It is all a part of the process. Be strong and courageous.

But don’t stay there. It was never the intention for the twin flame path to be a life full of misery. You are a soldier and a fighter of the good cause, one who fights the demons off quickly and goes up higher and higher, into the light. In the end, it is the light that prevails. More power to you in this new year, 2017!