Ch. 18

Mutually assured destruction was a game that could only have been devised by the reckless ingenuity of Moggley. That it be made a permanent state of affairs could only have been achieved by the nihilistic opportunism of Warizards.

-1977 inauguration speech of War Minister Darmoor Valegoul

The walls drip with resplendence. Trophies, weapons, treasures hang on hooks, are recessed in display niches, are driven deep into the ground surrounded by little other than felted rope. Something that looks like a dinosaur-skeleton snakes around a central column—lit from above by great sunshoots that shine far brighter than the dreary skies of Britain. The room is tiered, with a mix of wood and gold colonnades supporting the balconies of each tier around the center, and clusters of couches and tables pepper each floor.

Horry turns round and round taking it all in, until he notices that essentially everyone within sight is staring at him.

"Oi!"

Horry pauses and looks towards an older, taller students that called out to him.

"Uh, hi?"

"You're late!"

"Oh…uh…"

"Other first years went that-a-way," the students thumbs towards a great golden rimmed portal-door on the far wall. "Selecting classes 'n whatnot. You're the famous kid, right?"

"Oh I don't think…um…maybe?"

The boy snorts a laugh, "Well are you or aren't you?" An older girl pipes up next to him, "Weren't you at the Searching? He's the dead kid,"

"What?" says Horry. She lifts up a large sheet of paper—it looks like the news, but it's much busier—more colorful—and all the images move. Some are even jumping out of the page. She points to the headline:

HORRY PATTER, THE BOY WHO DIED?

MURMURS OF A MOGGLEY INFILTRATION AT CHOGBORT'S CASTLE

"Oh, right, uhm, no I'm not dead."

"Well clearly!"

"Where did you say the others went?"

He points again towards the portal. "Hey, Horry, right? First rule of Grippenboor, don't expect any special treatment, now. Even if you are famous. Or, y'know, dead." The students all snicker, except another older girl that punches the first boy in the arm, "Don't be such a tosser, he's probably traumatized! I heard they put him in the dungeon!"

"Crikey! They put Jiggory in the dungeon for a spell after a fight one year…" the conversation refocuses away from Horry.

"I…yeah. Okay," Horry says, to no one, and walks past them, frowning a bit as he heads towards the portal. He feels a familiar twist of unease, and that terrible pressure from the eyes of people that recognize him around the room.

When he passes through the portal, the air temperature noticeably drops, and when he turns around, he sees the portal has become a wall. He places his palm against it, suspecting a prank, but continues on when he hears the sound of tens of voices. Rounding another corner, he sees the contingent of Grippenboor first years, all sitting in tables of four or so—chatting excitedly and pointing at leaflets they must've gathered from a table near the front of the room.

Horry spots Romb and Hermany sitting with another girl on the edge of the room, and slinks around. He darts to their table and sits when everyone seems to be focusing on the papers in front of them.

"Horry!" Hermany and Romb exclaim simultaneously. A couple of nearby tables notice, but it doesn't have the same arresting effect as it had earlier in the common room—when literally the entire contingent stopped what they were doing and focused on him. Horry looses a short sigh of relief.

"Hi," says Horry.

"You're—you escaped! Are you…moggley?" Romb says, almost whispering the last word.

"No. Well. Probably not. My soul is scrambled they think. I don't know what that means…"

"The magickal world is so strange about this soul business," says Hermany, "I could hardly find any books that actually spell anything out. And then I found a whole bunch of books that looked to be just really advanced arithmantics. Doesn't really at all feel like, well, religion."

"You…you two know Horry Patter?" whisper-shrieks the other girl.

"Oh, Horry, this is Daisy. And well, we met him earlier today," says Hermany to Horry and Daisy, in turn.

"Hi," says Horry, again, feeling terribly awkward.

"But everything's really all right, Horry? One of the scarier Profs made it sound like you were banished…"

"Yeah, I think it's okay. There was some government guy there and he said sorry and everything, so maybe it was just a mistake? I feel like it's kind of an overreaction…"

"Well, last time Moggley breached Chogborts, it wasn't too pretty," says Romb, ominously.

"Was back durin' the great Moggley Wars. First or second—who's keepin' track, really? Were lookin' for an edge and shot up the place. I mean…they didn't stand a chance, but torbantula bites still kill, y'know?"

"Uhh, yeah..." says Horry. He sort of doesn't even want to know.

"Romb, that was the Vietnam war. That was barely twenty years ago,"

"Well how am I supposed to know with all the wars them Moggley are havin' all the time?"

"It's not like Warizards don't have wars either!"

"Yeah, but we had the good sense to actually stop crazy people from ever getting' spells that could destroy the world. You Moggley folks just looooove to sit there with your fingers on the button,"

"Romb, magick is far more dangerous than any weapons Moggley have devised—even accounting for…for nuclear weapons!"

"Not how I see it—name me one spell that can end the world. Any one,"

"You could…you could use vacuum spells and shield spells to…build a container for a whole big chunk of antimatter! How isn't that catastrophically more dangerous!"

"I heard Headmaster Doubledoor forbid antimatter weapons…" says Daisy—like it's gossip—like it's tea-time conversation that someone is capable of single-handedly preventing a planet from doing a particular thing.

"See, so it is possible! And the only reason it isn't a problem is because one man has set up one safeguard that could possibly fail at any moment!"

Romb rolls his eyes, "For one, that is definitely more than one spell. For two, the point" he gesticulates with his leaflet, "is that Warizards have those safeguards. They might be flimsy, but what's to stop the Russkies from destroying the planet? What's stopping America from destroying the planet?"

"Why can't Warizards just…teleport away all the nukes into space?" asks Horry, sliding Hermany's leaflet over in front of himself.

"Cause American warizards helped fix up their bombs," says Romb.

"How does that not completely prove my point!" Hermany's nearly yelling now.

"Because Moggley made the bombs in the first place! Warizards just got bribed into makin' em sturdy enough to withstand magickal attack,"

"Oh, so America doesn't just have nukes, they have magickal nukes too?"

"Russkies, too."

"Nobody calls them that, Romb."

"Just sayin', nukes are a problem of purely Moggley origin,"

Horry tries to concentrate on the leaflet:

FIRST YEAR SUGGESTED COURSEWORK

INTRODUCTORY ARITHMANCY I

MAGICKAL HISTORY I

TRANSMOGRIFICATION I

BIOLOGICKAL AND ALCHEMICKAL SCIENCES I

MAGICKAL BEASTS AND WHERE THEY MIGHT RESIDE I

ELECTIVES, PICK TWO (to be taken in years 1 through 4)

DEFENSIVE MAGICKS I, II, III, IV

SPELL SYNERGIES AND PLACEBOMANCY I, II, III, IV*

CHRONOMANCY -1

CHRONOMANCY 0*

STATISTICKAL ARITHMANCY*

GEOMETRICKAL ARITHMANCY

ARTS AND CRAFT**

SPORT**

DUELCRAFT**

STORYCRAFT I, II*

MOGGLEY TRADITION (on hold this semester)

ELECTIVES (to be taken in years 5 through 7 or with waiver)

CHRONOMANCY 1*

LOGICKAL ARITHMANCY* I, II, III

THEORETICKAL ARITHMANCY* I, II

OFFENSIVE MAGICK I, II, III

LIBRARYCRAFT (prerequisite: Storycraft track)

ADVANCED SYNERGIES AND MINDCRAFT (prerequisite: Spell synergies track)

VARSITY SPORT**

VARISTY DUELCRAFT**

NECROMANTICKS

DIVINOMANCY

LANGUAGES**

COMPARATIVE HISTORY: A SURVEY OF MOGGLEY AND MAGICKAL TRADITION

NOTE: LISTED ELECTIVES ARE GUARANTEED TO BE OFFERED ON A YEARLY BASIS EXCEPTING CHRONOMANCY. UNLISTED ELECTIVES MAY APPEAR ON A MORE SPORADIC BASIS.

*(Concurrent enrollment with appropriate-level Arithmancy course suggested)

**(Can be repeated for credit).

"Does 'necromanticks' mean what I think it means?" asks Horry.

"Oh, no, I got really worried when I read that the first time. It's more like a history class on Moggley religions more than anything. There are a couple of spells for animating the dead, but they don't really, um, resurrect or anything," Hermany glares at Romb.

"Hm," says Horry, as he takes his wand out and presses it in his ear.

I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO DO AN EXPERIMENT.

Hermany, Romb, and Daisy all stare at Horry like he's lost his mind.

"We'll get to that shortly! Just, give me some—I don't know, advice!"

"Horry, are…you sure you're alright?"

"Ahhg, here, um, wand, explain to Hermany," Horry hands the wand to Hermany.

Hermany continues to stare at Horry like he's lost his mind.

"Put it in your ear!"

Hermany—slowly—raises the want to her ear. After a moment she jumps and yelps, dropping it.

"See!"

"It talks!"

"Whaddya mean?" Romb picks it up and jams it in his hear.

"Ahhg!" yells Romb, dropping it.

"What did it say!"

"To stop dropping it!"

Horry picks it up again.

REALLY, NOW.

"Just, I don't know, summarize! I can sort of guess what these are, but I don't really know anything about them. Which electives are …I don't know, best?"

MASTER PATTER, YOUR CHOGBORTSIAN ADVENTURE IS OF YOUR OWN DESIGN, OTHERWISE IT IS NOT YOURS.

"What's it saying?"

"It's being profoundly unhelpful. Can't you just beam words into their heads too?"

THAT WOULD BE DIFFICULT. EACH MIND IS LIKE A DIFFERENT DOOR—DIFFERENT SET OF LOCKS, DIFFERENT SET OF KEYS, TO USE AN ANALOGY THAT OBSCURES THE ENTIRETY OF THE TREMENDOUS DIFFICULTY OF THE TASK. ALSO I DO NOT HAVE THEIR PERMISSION.

"And you have mine?!"

I AM YOUR WAND, MASTER PATTER.

"Would it help?"

NOT REALLY.

Horry sets the wand back down.

"Okay, what are you guys taking? My wand isn't helping out here."

"Sport and defensive magicks," says Romb, immediately, with a smile.

"Um, I read over the course catalog at home, and I've heard defensive magick is really good depending on the teacher. Quibble is supposed to be good…but beyond that, um, maybe Chronomancy -1? We don't have to fully decide until next week…" Hermany says, giving the wand a worried look.

"Defensive magick and duelcraft," says Daisy, and everyone stares at her.

"What?" she says.

"I dunno," says Romb, "kinda…violent."

"For a girl?" she glares at Romb, joining Hermany.

"No! I mean, duels are, like, crazy dangerous! Someone almost got killed last year in varsity!"

"Well, my dad was a champion duelist, so I'm gonna be a champion duelist, and that's that." Daisy nods with finality.

Romb sighs.

"Well, it'd be nice to have at least one elective with you guys. So Defensive Magicks it is, I guess. Maybe also Storycraft? I don't know how that works if your story is gone, though…"

"Where did it go?"

"Got, uh, lost after...well…it's a long story…"