Which players have failed to make the matchday squads for their Premier League clubs this season, despite being fit and (just about) able?

ARSENAL

Chuba Akpom – His season in the first team amounts to 50 minutes in the Carabao Cup. But he’s no Eddie Nketiah.

BOURNEMOUTH

N/A – Rhoys Wiggins hasn’t been on the bench in a Premier League game this season, but considering he underwent a second operation to straighten his knee in April, we’ll let him off.

BRIGHTON

Ales Mateju – The 21-year-old was expected to be loaned out immediately upon arriving this summer. He was not.

Henrik Bjordal – Despite spending last season on loan with IFK Göteborg, the 20-year-old stayed put this summer. He is surely delighted with his decision.

Soufyan Ahannach – The most pointless signing of the summer.

BURNLEY

Fredrik Ulvestad – Last seen being substituted at half-time in a 2-0 defeat for Burnley’s Under 23s against their Crewe counterparts.

CHELSEA

Wallace Oliveira – What does a hungover Chelsea fan do when asked to name their favourite 23-year-old Brazilian who joined the club in January 2013 yet has not played a single game? Wallace and vomit.

Matej Delac – Chelsea’s longest-serving player is on his way out. If Antonio Conte doesn’t start him in the Champions League final, we riot.

Eduardo – He can be on the bench for said Champions League final. It’s only fair.

CRYSTAL PALACE

N/A – Even Jordon Mutch has been in a Premier League match-day squad for Crystal Palace this season.

EVERTON

Luke Garbutt – Once a leading light of Everton’s production line, the left-back is now 24, and frozen out by the club’s last two managers. Unsie might give him a chance.

HUDDERSFIELD

Ryan Schofield – Sarah Winterburn had never heard of him, which is presumably a bigger setback than not being on a Premier League bench.

LEICESTER

Eldin Jakupovic – Why did they sign him?

Yohan Benalouane – And him?

Ahmed Musa – And him?

LIVERPOOL

Lazar Markovic – Named in Liverpool’s Premier League squad, but not a sniff of a game. Reckon he’s still worth £20million?

Danny Ings – Scored four goals and assisted a further two in a 7-0 trouncing of Bristol City’s Under-23s last week. Ings probably can’t actually get better than that.

MANCHESTER CITY

N/A – Twenty-two players have been part of a Manchester City Premier League match-day squad this season. Even Phil bloody Foden.

MANCHESTER UNITED

Joel Pereira – ‘Has the potential to be even better than’ David de Gea. Is not playing quite as often.

Luke Shaw – It’s all a bit sad, really.

James Wilson – The 21-year-old described a January loan move as “a possibility” last month. The legacy left by Ryan Giggs’ legendary four-game tenure erodes further.

NEWCASTLE

Jack Colback – “Jack knows the situation,” said Rafael Benitez last week – the situation being that the pair fell out in the summer. Remember when he was called up for England?

Massadio Haidara – Has as many Premier League minutes as his good friend Callum McManaman this season.

Curtis Good – Curtis bad.

SOUTHAMPTON

Josh Sims – Unlike me in my youth, Mauricio Pellegrino is refusing to play the Sims.

Florin Gardos – Was linked with Liverpool once. True story.

Jack Rose – Any Titanic fan’s favourite footballer was released by West Brom in the summer. There was probably a reason.

STOKE

Thibaud Verlinden – “This is the first year really when we’ve had a number of young players that we feel, given a fair wind, will be able to progress and be Premier League footballers,” said Mark Hughes in July. Sure.

Ollie Shenton – As above.

SWANSEA

Erwin Mulder – Things are getting strange, I’m starting to worry. This is not a case for Mulder, nor Scully.

Kenji Gorré – Spent time in both Manchester City and Manchester United’s academies, was a target for Arsenal and Chelsea in his youth, and had a trial at Celtic. Is also an international. For Curaçao.

TOTTENHAM

N/A – Just as the Irishman before him, Paul O’Gazzaniga is following in the footsteps of Paul O’Pez by carving out a successful career as Tottenham’s third-choice goalkeeper.

WATFORD

Brice Dja Djedjé – Since he was signed by Watford for £3m in July 2016, the right-back has made as many first-team appearances as he has been omitted from Premier League squads (2).

Daniel Bachmann – Never made a single first-team appearance for Stoke in six years. Hoping to emulate that record at Vicarage Road.

WEST BROM

N/A – Tony Pulis has even named the kids on a West Brom bench at least once. He’ll probably be blaming them for a record of three wins in their last 23 Premier League games.

WEST HAM

N/A – Until David Moyes signs Joseph Yobo, he inherits a West Ham squad where every fit player has been afforded at least one chance.

Matt Stead

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