Phoenix wiped a few beads of sweat from his forehead as he made his way back inside. He felt so awake and rejuvenated after his morning jog. Phoenix still did a quick run around his mother’s neighborhood after school some days, but lately, he’d been adding in a weekend jog too. Sometimes he even convinced Erik to join him. But this morning, he’d gone alone.

“How was the run?” His father’s voice called as he crossed over the threshold.

Phoenix shrugged, stepping into Erik’s office. “Pretty good, I guess… How’s that new project coming?” He gestured toward the computer screen as he spoke.

“Slower than dirt.” Erik laughed. He’d been working almost non-stop lately on a new piece of software for work. “If I can get a few more things wrapped up, I think I can tear myself away for a little bit though… wanna grab some dinner before I drop you off at your Mama’s tonight?”

“Sure!” It had been a while since he and his father had had some one-on-one time together. “Otto’s Pizza?”

“Where else?” His father laughed again, turning back toward his computer. “Oh, Tam showed up while you were out, by the way… He’s in the living room with Jasper, I think.”

Of course he is… More practice for the talent show, I bet! Phoenix gave a small nod, then headed back out toward the living room.

His brother seemed to stiffen immediately at his approach. “Oh, hey, Phoenix.” Jasper smiled slightly at him as he made his way toward the couch.

He nodded at the two of them. “Hey. I’m surprised you guys are still down here.” Phoenix smiled almost teasingly at them as he spoke.

Tam raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I just figured you guys would be up in Jasper’s room practicing again.”

“Practicing?”

“Or ‘experimenting’?” Phoenix shrugged. Tam always loved trying out weird new things with those tracks he mixed together. “Whatever you wanna call it.”

His brother’s cheeks went pink. “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Maybe he was embarrassed by association? After all, Tam’s DJ music WAS pretty weird.

Phoenix just laughed. “It’s fine, guys. I know what you’ve been up to.”

“You do?” Tam’s voice was small.

He nodded. “I don’t know why you’ve been trying to hide it or anything. I think it’s awesome!”

“You do?!” Jasper echoed Tam’s words, eyeing his brother hopefully.

“Of course! I mean, yeah, it’s not something I’m really into, but so what? I think it’s great that you are.”

The two other boys exchanged a look, their eyes alight with a strange mix of confusion and excitement. “Wow, Phee… Thanks!” Tam replied at last. “That means a lot.”

“Of course! And y’know… You’ve kinda inspired me to give it a shot too.” He confessed. “Well, maybe not exactly what you guys are doing… but close enough.”

“Wait, what?!” Jasper eyed his brother in confusion.

“Woah… maybe that picture wasn’t really a mistake after all…” Tam muttered.

Phoenix had no idea what his friend was talking about, so he ignored the comment. “I mean, I’m kinda nervous about it. It’s totally out of my comfort zone and stuff… but I really wanna give it a try. I think it’ll be fun!”

“Oh, it is fun.” Tam’s eyes lit up instantly. “Don’t you think, Jas?” He gave the other boy a playful nudge on the shoulder.

Jasper’s cheeks turned red once more, but his lips curled into a smile.

Phoenix’s own smile widened. Apparently Jasper was really getting into the whole DJ scene too. It was great to see his brother discovering a new hobby. And maybe he’d have the same luck with his guitar…

“Anyway, I’m gonna be pretty busy trying to figure my own stuff out, but like, if you guys ever need help or something, let me know.” He offered. “As long as you don’t mind returning the favor a little too.”

Jasper’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Um… did you say ‘help’?”

“Yeah! I mean, I don’t really know what I’m doing, exactly… But I’d be willing to try and help out however I can.” He said kindly. “Plus, I can’t let you guys have all the fun without me, can I?” Phoenix teased.

Tam and Jasper’s reactions were not quite what he’d been expecting.

At last, his friend cleared his throat softly. “Um… Phee? What kind of ‘help’ were you thinking of, exactly?” Tam asked.

Phoenix shrugged. “I dunno, helping set up your equipment? Or listening to one of your mixes? You know I don’t have a great ear for that stuff, but we’ve got less than a month, so I know you wanna be ready.”

“Equipment?” Jasper turned toward Tam. “What is he –”

“Oh! The talent show!” The pink-haired boy cried. “Yes. Yes, that’s totally what we were talking about. Yes. You’re right, Jas has really been a huge help.”

“Oh. Uh, yeah!” Jasper’s smile seemed so forced. “Lots of practice for the, um… talent show. Oh, and we’ll definitely help you out too! Whatever you need.” He added quickly. “For the talent show.”

Phoenix’s face fell slightly. Why were they being so weird all of a sudden? Whatever. It was Tam and Jasper, after all. They were always a little weird.

“Okay, cool… Well, thanks!” He rose from the couch as he spoke. “I’m gonna go take a shower. Maybe we can play some Space Dementia after though?”

Tam smiled as Phoenix began heading for the doorway. “Sure! And in the meantime, I think Jas and I are gonna head upstairs for a little more ‘practice’…”

———————————————-

Phoenix closed his eyes as his fingers moved up and down the fretboard of his guitar. He took a few slow breaths, humming along to the tune he played. He was trying his best to follow the advice Rylie had given him — “Don’t think… Just feel.”

And it was easy to do, at first… But the further he got into the song, the harder it was to not let himself think too much.

Oh shit… This is the hardest part! A wave of panic washed over him as his fingers fumbled awkwardly over the strings.

A harsh cacophony of sound filled the air. “God damn it…” Phoenix muttered angrily, lowering the guitar in frustration. “I fucked it up again.”

“Of course you fucked up.” Rylie laughed. “You were thinking again, weren’t you?”

“Maybe a little…” He confessed.

His aunt shook her head in amusement. “Well, cut it out!” She smiled warmly at him. “Doesn’t help that you picked such a hard song either.”

“I know. I just… I kinda wanted to do something special.” Phoenix explained.

He’d chosen a very old song, which he knew would have a lot of meaning to his grandfather. It was an old Epileptic Lullaby song, written by Zayne’s father, Lucas. If he was going to try and conquer his fear and perform in front of an audience, he might as well make it special, right?

Plus, it would provide a nice opportunity for a little name-dropping, if he needed to. Win-win.

Phoenix had been very careful to only practice when his grandfather wasn’t around. He wanted to surprise Zayne the night of the talent show. That is, if he could ever manage to master the song.

“Well, you’re off to a decent start, at least.” Rylie encouraged him. “But you’ve got a lot of work too, kiddo. Remember — stop thinking! And keep practicing!”

Phoenix nodded, then lifted his guitar once more.

He tried the song a few more times… And the first two attempts had disastrous results. So bad, in fact, that Phoenix was fairly certain he scared poor Mayonnaise away…

But on the third try, he finally managed to play the whole thing from beginning to end. He still missed a few notes in the middle section, but this time, he’d kept going, even after he messed up. And he made it through.

“I told you!” Rylie cried happily as Phoenix put down his guitar once more. “Stop thinking, and you’ll do just fine.”

He shrugged slightly. Part of him was happy he’d at least made it to the end of the song. But he’d still made so many mistakes. “I guess… but I still fucked it up a little.”

Before Rylie could reply, a high-pitched voice called from the doorway. “Damn, Ry. If your band’s ever in the market for a new guitarist, we know who to call.”

Phoenix rolled his eyes as Katie entered. “Ha-ha.”

“No, but seriously… You’re doing great!” She took a seat on the couch beside her wife.

“Thanks. I guess I’m kinda getting there?” He smiled at the pair of them for a moment. “Rylie’s been helping a lot.”

The blonde woman shrugged. “As much as I can… singing’s really more my thing. Keep working at it and you’ll probably be better than me in no time.” Rylie teased.

Phoenix just laughed, heading over to join his aunts on the couch.

As he approached, Katie’s eyes flicked toward the doorway, as though she were searching for something. “Look, before your Mama and Dev join us in here… Can I ask you something?” She asked in a hushed tone.

“Uh, I guess?” Phoenix replied nervously. “What’s up?”

A heavy sigh passed Katie’s lips. “It’s nice to see you having fun and all… But what the hell is this about, Phoenix?” She asked. “Are you trying to impress some girl again?”

A sudden heat began rising in his cheeks at her words. That was not the type of question he’d been expecting. “No!” He insisted. “And what do you mean ‘again’?”

Rylie smiled in amusement. “We remember you gushing about that Amna girl… And hurting your foot at the gym?” She shook her head. “The gym, seriously?”

“Yeah… And your Mama mentioned you’d been trying to get into football too? Who are you, and what have you done with Phoenix?!” Katie’s voice was teasing, but her expression remained serious.

Phoenix did not immediately reply. Felix. He wanted to say. That’s who I thought I was. “I was just trying something new.” He insisted at last, echoing the words he’d told his mother just a few weeks before. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing at all.” Rylie assured him. “Look, we aren’t gonna give you some kind of stupid speech about ‘being true to yourself’ or something. That’s your parents’ job, right?”

He couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. That was exactly the talk his mother had had with him a few weeks ago, and what his father had said to him when they’d gotten pizza the other night too. “Yeah, I think they’ve got that covered.” He agreed.

“So all I’m gonna say is… Just don’t be stupid, okay?” Rylie continued. “You can try new things or change yourself or whatever the hell you wanna do. But don’t let things get out of hand. Don’t do anything that’s gonna make you wind up dead or in jail.” Her eyes flicked almost apologetically toward her wife for a moment as she spoke.

Katie didn’t even seem to notice. “Or miserable.” She added seriously. “That’s just as important. If you really start getting into this guitar stuff, that’s great. But if it’s not making you happy, that’s when you say ‘fuck it’ and move on, okay?”

“Yeah.” Rylie agreed. “Don’t let yourself get stuck. I’ve seen way too many people fall into that stupid trap. And trust me, it sucks.” She paused for a moment before continuing. “So have fun. Change shit up. Try new things. Do whatever you want. Just look out for yourself and don’t be a dumbass.”

Phoenix shook his head, taking a moment to consider his aunts’ advice. Despite Rylie’s assurance, some of what they’d told him felt similar to what his mother had said too.

“Hey, I thought you guys said only my parents get to make the stupid speeches.” He smiled crookedly at them, trying to lighten the mood.

“They do.” Katie agreed, smiling. “This one wasn’t stupid.”

“Excuse me?” His mother’s voice called from the doorway before he had a chance to reply. “Does anyone know how much this place charges for tickets? We hear there’s a show tonight…” Harper smiled teasingly, Devin and Lila following along behind her.

“Ha-ha. Very funny.” Phoenix laughed as he rose to his feet and made his way toward the guitar stand, grateful the uncomfortable conversation with his aunts had been cut short. He still didn’t feel quite ready to perform in front of anyone yet… But playing for his family would be good practice, wouldn’t it?

“We’ve got an in with the guitarist.” Harper continued with the charade. “Think he can get us in for free?”

“Alright, how about this? If you can convince Opa to make cupcakes after dinner tonight, we’ll call it even.” He offered.

His mother smiled. “Deal.”