I’m going to open up about something tonight that’s very personal….my past.

Reading this website you may think that I’ve always been a staunch libertarian conservative, anti-feminist Christian.

Nope. Far from it. And I mean faaaaaaar.

I was raised in a sinful city. The most sinful in the US. My parents meant well but never really gave me any direction in life morally and we stopped attending church when I was 8.

I fell into hard core progressive, radical liberalism when I was 14.

I rejected the notion of Christ and salvation and adopted for myself an extremist view of the world. At the height of my liberalism I was…

Pro-choice

Pagan and a hostile anti Christian

Phone banking and fundraising for the gay rights center

A practicing bi-sexual (hung out in lesbian bars) and polyamorus

Openly supported communism

Let my son have a Che Guevara doll

Smoking marijuana (albeit not routinely)

Voting green party or democrat

Vegan

Was raising my sons “gender neutral”

Was anti America

Posed nude for an online site of women with tattoos (the pics are still out there somewhere, please don’t try and find them LOL)

Viewed pornography

Was a radical feminist and riot grrrl

Got a degree at a college in San Francisco where I literally rubbed elbows with the leaders of the feminist and pagan movements.

Probably more stuff I can’t remember or I have forgotten (read: suppressed)

“Now I won’t deny

The worst you could say about me

But I’m not defined

By mistakes that I’ve made

Because God says of me

I am not who I was

I am being remade

I am new

I am chosen and holy

And I’m dearly loved

I am new”

And then it happened. Well it happened 2,000 years ago actually but for me it happened four years ago.

The Cross.

Christ somehow found this little lost sheep. Heck I wasn’t lost, I had run away and when He tried to bring my back I kicked and bit Him! I was the worst sheep ever. But He never gave up and before I knew it I was free in His love!

I was free from my sin. I was forgiven.

Through His atoning sacrifice I was able to pick up the pieces of a life that didn’t make sense and slowly put it all back together.

And now?

Oh praise God! How merciful He has been!

We sang this song at my baptism….

“I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,

Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.

I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,

That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.

(Chorus) Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me Enough to die for me! Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!

I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine , That he should extend his great love unto such as I, Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify

I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!

Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget? No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat, Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet.”

I sing it every night to my children.

And now? Well if you would indulge my vanity a moment I’ll proudly tell you who I am now compared to then…

Pro-LIFE 100%

LDS Christian who observes Acts 15

Pro traditional families

Monogamous! Hooray!

Conservative Libertarian

Anti drug war but never use myself although I would use marijuana medicinally if I was ever very sick

Traditional diet / Maker’s diet

Raising my children to love natural gender roles

Not thrilled with everything America does but love the America and think, while not perfect, it could be

Modest, head covering submissive helpmeet

Actively anti pornography

Anti feminist

Anti college, pro the stay-at-home daughters movement

It wasn’t an easy transition nor did I make the leap all at once but slowly, over time, issue by issue the wisdom I gained with age and experience converted me.

I embrace my past. It’s part of me and it’s part of what God has given to strengthen me and my testimony.

I am not ashamed, I am forgiven.

We can all be forgiven.