If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious .

The company that produces the Talking Jesus Action Figure, a big hit during the past Christmas season, has ordered a recall of the toy today.

According to a company spokesperson, someone was able to hack the voice production unit and change the sayings of the Jesus doll in a decidedly unchristian manner.

TheSpoof.com has obtained one of the altered dolls and the following is an example of just some of the new sayings:

"I'm sorry you're going to hell." "Yes, I do use product in my hair." "Packers by 10. Trust me." "The 'H' stands for Hymie." "Well, I just don't see your name on the reservation list. Can you spell that again?" "I wanted to try a nice Italian suit, but my agent said the robe was part of my brand." "Sucks to be you." "It was messiah or carpenter. What would you choose?" "I confess. I'm addicted to 'Lost.'" "I'll come back when I'm damn good and ready to come back. Capiche?" "My parents were too embarrassed to talk about sex. Hence, Immaculate Conception."

Christian leaders are said to be outraged by the doll, but as usual, no-one is really paying any attention.