BANNON, IN HIS NATIVE PARSELTONGUE: Limp-wristed globalist cuck.

JARED: [Nervously looks around to make sure Mar-a-Lago has security cameras]

Meanwhile, Politico reports that the administration's public relations efforts to salvage the remainder of Trump's first 100 days in office are proceeding about how you'd expect.

More than 30 Trump staffers piled into a conference room in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building adjoining the White House on Tuesday, according to a half-dozen attendees who described the meeting. Mike Dubke, Trump’s communications director, and his deputy, Jessica Ditto, kicked off the discussion of how to package Trump’s tumultuous first 100 days by pitching the need for a “rebranding” to get Trump back on track.

This is delicious. Right, so far, our fearless leader has spent his presidency getting dragged by the courts, failing spectacularly at health care reform, embarrassing his country in front of prominent foreign leaders, and, when the weight of those monumental tasks becomes too much for one man, playing a shocking amount of golf. But we're just getting started! Who's got ideas, gang? Remember, there are no wrong answers here.

Staffers, including counselor Kellyanne Conway, were broken into three groups, complete with whiteboards, markers and giant butcher-block-type paper to brainstorm lists of early successes. One group worked in the hallway. “It made me feel like I was back in fifth grade,” complained another White House aide who was there. “That’s the best way I could describe it.”

To be fair, these types of bullshit breakout sessions do comprise the most grimly impotent phylum of all the inane problem-solving strategies that corporate America has to offer, but it's nonetheless hard to imagine that the missing link in this administration will turn out to be an Office Depot shopping trip. At this point, these folks would be wise to use that butcher paper to craft "PLEASE SEND HELP" signs that they can hold up in the White House windows next time Bannon goes into a blind rage and threatens to "disappear" the administrative agency of the next staffer who laughs a little too loudly at one of Kushner's jokes in front of him.

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