I have nightmares of [Johnny] Manziel; he needs sex therapy. Seeing Manziel with his small penis caused me psychological emotional distress. I had to see a psychologist because I have nightmares of Manziel’s penis.

— An excerpt from a lawsuit filed by “Samantha Schacher,” but more likely filed by Jonathan Lee Riches, better known in the legal community as America’s favorite serial litigant. Read some of his work here, here, and here.

(Keep reading to see the rest of this entertaining lawsuit.)