Not satisfied with the high price of shipping? Suspicious of purchasing highly caffeinated beverages via the relative anonymity of the Internet? Maybe you just don’t think Paypal should have your account info?



Local pickup is the solution for you!

The BBotE Ambassadors are self-nominated devotees to the cause of caffeination that have taken it upon themselves to make BBotE more readily available to their respective locales. By shipping bottles to them in large quantity, they can then pass BBotE along to you with minimal pain due to packaging & postage costs. In general, 750ml bottles are available for $45 in the US, 1000ml bottles are ~$75 overseas. Here’s who they are:

San Francisco Bay Area – ME!!! Phil, funranium [at] gmail [dot] com

Herr DIrektor Funranium himself is available for direct hand of items at the list price on the website. All you need to do is drop me a line, tell me what you’d like, and then we arrange a time to meet. Odds on favor this will be in lovely downtown Berkeley. If you time things right, it might even involve beer and storytime.

Greater Portland – Jessica, greta [at] pdxyar [dot] org

The Caffeinatrix of Portland is happy to bring the piratical fighting art of twin axe and coffee wielding to PDX. Oh, she also fights cancer…though not necessarily with an axe.

Greater Los Angeles – Natara, usefulmonkey.net/funranium-la/

When not keeping the Dream Factory humming with caffeine, she spends much of her time herding the Burning Man community of LA and seeking the spiritual enlightenment that will let her cope with the the aforementioned herding. If you want to be notified when new shipments come in and about BBotE Tasting Parties and such, put yourself on her contact list which you can do at the link above.

Greater Santa Barbara – Vernon, bbote [at] brewhouse [dot] pub

An acolyte of the former BBotE Ambassador of Santa Barbara, he has heard the desperate need of Goleta and seeks to fill the void. You may contact him to arrange your fix because of his convenient distance, Santa Barbara can be stocked with any size of BBotE as long as you let him know in advance.

DC/Baltimore, MD – Eric, BBoTE [dot] DCarea [at] gmail [dot] com

Eric has kindly volunteered to be the Consul Coffeetorii of BBotE for the DC/Baltimore area. Please drop him a line if you’re interested in grabbing a 750ml of caffeinated delight from him.

Indianapolis. IN – Jeremy, IndyBBotE [at] gmail [dot] com

A brave soul that subjected himself to experimentation to see if BBotE would destroy him, he survived The Harrowing and emerged on the other side faster, harder, and stronger…and as an Ambassador. He is stocked with 750ml bottles for your drinking pleasure.

Greater Perth, Australia – Karl, karl [at] fishoutoforder [dot] net

Karl has prostrated himself at the Altar of Caffeination and pled a strong case for the people of Western Australia that the far and odd outpost of Australia might have some love. He is stocked with 1L bottles, rather than 750ml, for AUD90 a piece. If you don’t grab them from him, he will have no choice but to transmute all the coffee into math/code. I’m to understand this is possible.

Melbourne, Australia – Kavi, kaviblackblood [at] gmail [dot] com

An acolyte of the Ambassador of Perth, Kavi has decided that, in addition to being an anesthesiologist, “the coffee nut capital of Australia” deserved representation. He is stocked with 1L bottles for AUD90 a piece.

Brisbane, Australia – Dom, dom [dot] bbote [at] gmail [dot] com

Dom is a long suffering IT cavedweller living in the sun-drenched paradise of Brisbane that other people get to enjoy. He, accordingly, needs ALL the coffee but is willing to share part of his cases with you. He is stocked with 1L bottles for AUD90 a piece.

Greater Boston, MA – Talena, bahstun [dot] bbote [at] gmail [dot] com

Talena is an acolyte of the Caffeinatrix of PDX who has recently moved to Boston, bringing her love/addiction to BBotE with her. She, accordingly, would like to share it with you good folk of Beantown.

Dublin, Ireland – Jonathan, bahrae [at] yahoo [com] com

I’m please to announce the resurrection of the BBotE Embassy of Dublin in the hands of Jonathan who has missed BBotE and desired its return. He is stocked with 1L bottles for €70

Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN – Kim, kimreinisch [at] gmail [dot] com.

After sampling the delights at the Caffeinatrix of PDX’s wedding, her godmother demanded the rights to share BBotE with the locals back home in MSP. Far be it from me to argue.

Prescott, AZ – Dan, bbote [at] deusexcaffeina [dot] com.

As someone who got his first taste of BBotE at DEFCON thanks to the very alliterative Coffee Consul of Chicago, he wanted a more regular supply to Arizona. I’m told he does make frequent trips to Flagstaff. Now he has it and so do you. He is stocked with 750ml bottles for $45 each.

Seattle, WA – Jim, coffee_bro [at] live [dot] com

A Black Rock City Ranger that volunteered for the Noble Arte of BBotE after his first encounter with Ambassador of Greater LA on the Playa, Jim is now our man in Seattle.

San Antonio/Houston/College Station, TX – Jason, [email protected]

Funranium Labs’ very own webmaster is also the BBotE Ambassador for the A&M crowd! He tends to go walkabout back and forth between College Station and Houston and limited runs to San Antonio, so there’s a chance you maybe able to catch him at either locale. Join the update list to know the production schedule and info (keeping track of all your emails is not his specialty)

Greater Sydney, Australia – Robert, BBoTE [at] fumbari [dot].com CURRENTLY INACTIVE

Australia has an BBotE Ambassador again, but this time for Greater Sydney. Robert is a several time victim of BBotE that tends to skip about the harbour fairly often on caffeinated wings, but dwells most of the time in Hornsby. Because Oz Post seems to be staffed with people with noodle arms incapable of lifting weights in excess of 20kg, he is stocked with 1000ml bottles which go for US$75 each.

State College, PA – Craig, statecollegebbote [at] gmail [dot] com CURRENTLY INACTIVE (moved to SF)

Craig, a friend of mine who has returned to his childhood home and wishes to bring the joys of BBotE to central Pennsylvania. He will be stocked with 750ml bottles for your pleasure. He would like to remind me, for the who knows how manyeth time, that the name of his hometown is State College, not Vomit Hedge.

Greater Detroit (or Delta City if you are an OCP shareholder) CURRENTLY INACTIVE

Ben , benjamineliasz [at] gmail [dot] com

Ben is a tattoo artisan who’s heart is as dark as his metal and his coffee. I welcome him to my shadowy cabal for world domination. If you are in the Greater Detroit area and in need of a BBotE fix, you may drop him an email.

New York City – Wish, nycbbote [at] gmail [dot] com CURRENTLY INACTIVE

You have inherited an acolyte of the BBotE Ambassador of Greater Los Angeles and editor par excellence, Wish, as she goes about her adventures in NYC swimming in the slushpile of literary submissions.

Albuquerque, NM – Lee, bboteABQ [at] gmail [dot] com CURRENTLY INACTIVE

The people of the Atomic City (ignoring Arco, ID and Los Alamos, NM of course) finally have representation of their own. When not evangelizing ultracoffee, Lee is an professor of electonic arts at UNM. He’s stocked with 750ml bottles for $45.

Toronto, Canada – Justin, BBotEToronto [at] gmail [dot] com CURRENTLY INACTIVE

Another victim of the Caffeine Consul of Chicago, except he was making the trip from the Great White North to get it. It was an altogether more reasonable thing to just turn him into Canada’s first BBotE Ambassador to take care of our caffeinated brethren & sistren across the border. He’s currently stocked with 1L bottles for $75 each.

Chicago, IL – Kyle, BBotEChicago [at] gmail [dot] com

The new Coffee Consul of Chicago/Cook County has volunteered as tribute, drawn from the ranks of the previous office holder’s devotees. He will usually be stocked with 750ml bottles for $45 and his preferred location for handoffs is in the Loop at 440 S. La Salle.

London, UK – Justin, Twitter: @BBotUK