LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Armchair commentator Angus Doorey (32) recently discovered he was a bit more sauced than he thought after actually laughing at an ad for Sportsbet.

Although there were six empty beer bottles on his table alongside two empty packets of chips, Doorey knew that he’d had too much to drink when he laughed at the Sportsbet ad which made light of how embarrassing it is when your girlfriend asks you to hold her handbag.

“Woah, haha,” stated Doorey.

“Yeah shit I better slow down.”

Watching a lot of sports from home, Doorey is used to seeing the odd 400 million ads for betting apps but was surprised to find himself actually chuckling at one and decided that perhaps he should have a glass of water before cracking open another coldie or better yet, quit alcohol forever.

Despite questioning his drinking habits and every decision he has ever made, Doorey deleted his other gambling apps and downloaded Sportsbet after learning from their television commercial that they are the best betting company.

“They’ve made me laugh so I have to use their app now. That is how it has always worked.”

In a statement by Doorey, he says he looks forward to exclusively using Sportsbet as the mobile phone app that privately drains him of his income and feelings of self-worth.

More to come.