STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. -- Yeah, yeah, yeah, the "Most Hated Man In America" was arrested on securities fraud charges. That's fine and all but here's what we really want to know: What happens to the Wu-Tang Clan album?

We here in Shaolin know what's important. And if there's just one copy of our legacy rap group's album, well, we need to be darn sure where it is at all times.

So, we may not know the answer to that question, but we do know some things that are vital. Here are some questions we, and perhaps you, had with this whole ordeal.

Rewind, who is this "jerk?"

Martin Shkreli is the pharmaceutical CEO whose company jacked up the price of an important HIV drug. He bought the sole copy of the Wu-Tang Clan's album "Once Upon a Time in Shaolin" at an auction for a reported $2 million. People generally don't like him.

It's a free market, who cares if he had the means to buy this valuable piece of music history?

We, the people of Staten Island, care because the dude said he probably won't even listen to it unless Taylor Swift wanted to. It's as if he pulled the entirety of Staten Island out of the water and slapped it across the face, and then backhanded it. But that's not even the new information here. We'll get to whether he had the means later.

Got it. I heard he was arrested. So come out with it already, where is the album?

Well, if you believe the FBI, they don't have it. Neither the auction company nor Shkreli have commented on its whereabouts either. The FBI tweeted:

#Breaking no seizure warrant at the arrest of Martin Shkreli today, which means we didn't seize the Wu-Tang Clan album. — FBI New York (@NewYorkFBI) December 17, 2015

What might happen to the album?

Shkreli has posted bail and denied the claims made against him, so this will likely be a long legal saga. Long legal sagas typically cost a lot of money. And you know what else costs a lot of money? That album. So some folks are saying he may have to sell it to pay for all this.

But, if the feds decide to forfeit his assets, this album may be the thing they go for. "Usually, [asset] freezes are sought when there's a risk assets will be transferred overseas and out of reach of authorities," said Jacob Frenkel, a former SEC enforcement attorney to Bloomberg Businessweek, which has been expertly following this case. "At the end of these cases, there's usually an understanding that money is fungible."

If the government does seize the album, which the indictment against Shkreli hints at, it's anyone's guess what might happen next. But given the irony of the album's sale to Skhreli in the first place, more fans than ever are invested in its eventual fate. One entrepreneurial-minded fellow is proposing we start another Kickstarter to re-bid on the album. There's a lot of "if"s in that premise, and frankly it sounds like he's just trying to rip us all off.

How did Shkreli even get the money to buy this $2 million-album?

That's what the feds are wondering too. During a press conference after Shkreli's arrest, U.S. Attorney Robert Capers said: "We're not aware of where he got the funds that he raised for the Wu-Tang album." Hence the arrest.

So was this all an elaborate plot orchestrated by Bill Murray to heist the album?



Hey, maybe. Earlier this week, someone released a (phony) contract term which stated that the album could be heisted, but only by Bill Murray. That turned out to be a hoax, but that doesn't mean Bill Murray can't still heist it. That's all I'm saying. That's all. I'm. Saying... Bill.

Is "Once Upon A Time In Shaolin" cursed?

Yes.