Sometimes God speaks to us in unexpected places, in unexpected ways, through unexpected vessels. I was privileged to experience this form of blessing yesterday while attending, of all things, traffic court with my husband. (Those darn yellow lights!)

During the nearly four hours we waited for his name to be called I was greatly impressed with the gentleness of the judge. Judges can be scary, cranky even. This was not the case yesterday. I listened while he showed grace and mercy to one, and yet another, and yet another. I was saddened by the attitude of one young man whom the judge was encouraging to consider another path that leads to a life of peace. The judge stopped talking at one point and said, with great sadness in his voice, “I’m not going to say anymore. As I’m talking you’re looking around – just waiting for me to shut up so you can go on about your business. You’re not hearing what I’m saying.” And with that, he handed down his sentence, still filled with mercy and enough time for the young man to get it together in order to pay fines for his offenses.

At one point the judge listened patiently to a woman who was disgruntled with the long wait and the slow process of what is the overloaded judicial system. He actually apologized to her for her frustration. Then he gave a lesson. And in that lesson I was encouraged for the rest of the day.

Prior to court yesterday morning I made the decision to love and to forgive. I’ve been so angry and hurt by family’s treatment of me, my youngest son, my youngest daughter and her boyfriend for a NONoffense based our little girl’s boyfriend’s skin color. I want so much for them to see that we should base our judgment for others on character, not on something over which none of us have control.

No child is born and says, “Okay, I think I’ll take — um, let me see…yeah, I would like to live as a white person for this life I’ve been given.” That analogy is no more ridiculous than judging a person solely for their skin color. There are a lot of things we can control in life – race is not one of them.

So, when the judge gently told the woman that in this life – a life in which we are often faced with frustrations – he and I quote, “I choose to have peace.” He elaborated on that, but it was all I needed to hear. The woman obviously didn’t receive what he said, but for me – it melted my sadness.

I love my dad. But, I am not responsible for his choice to hate. And for all the tears I have shed this week over his silence – his lack of contact or show of love…Or from my stepmother, and the treatment all of my kids have received – whether in the form of being manipulated to change a wedding guest list to suit racism or to be unwelcome and cut off because some of my kids are taking a beautiful, albeit heartbreaking, stand for what is right and humane… I’m choosing peace.

The Word tells us that it’s His peace that passes understanding and I stand on the promise that the joy of the Lord is my strength. This doesn’t mean I won’t shed more tears. This doesn’t mean I won’t continue to grieve for those who are still alive, but dead to showing love for me, my kids or our fellow man – all who are made in the image of an amazing, creative God – even my daughter’s black boyfriend. It means I will choose peace, forgiveness and love in the face of standing for what is right and good.

I will close with something my daughter’s boyfriend shared. He posted a picture of him with my daughter with this caption: Hey so this is my lovely fiancé Laura Miller. She’s not white. She’s Laura Renee Miller. And this is me Michael Walker. I’m not black I’m Michael Alexander Walker. Black or white is a primitive concept used to label people. People are people. It doesn’t matter what ethnicity (or “color”) you are – it’s what’s on the inside that counts. And the sooner that happens; the sooner there will be a huge IQ raise in the world.

May we all pray for raised IQ’s…raised heart IQ’s. And may we all – choose peace.