They said what?

'I loved the ritual of being married, but if I marry again I would change the vows from "till death us do part" to "I'm really in love with you right now".'

Burlesque artist Dita Von Teese formerly wife of Marilyn Manson, takes the long-term view.

'After years of intense research, we know the definitive answer. It is bacon.'

Perfume expert Tanya Sanchez proves she has quite a nose. The question was: 'What scent drives men wild?'

'It will make more money for us.'

E.ON's Mark Owen-Lloyd, when asked about the worst-case scenario of gas and oil prices staying high, sees the larger picture.

'I found him to be a very simple man.'

The verdict on George W Bush from that well-known political pundit Donatella Versace

'It was so infantile in the papers. I was always reading about how Harry Potter was waving his other wand. There is a great deal more going on in the play, you know. I'm not writing porn, for God's sake.'

Equus playwright Sir Peter Shaffer puts its successful revival, starring a naked Daniel Radcliffe, down to the script.

'Auntie's put boxing gloves on. I'm so incensed by the idea that I'm guilty of something that I actually cancelled my licence fee a few months ago.'

Former Crinkly Bottom resident Noel Edmonds reacts to the BBC's aggressive TV licensing campaign.

'The idea that I had stopped writing poems because I had bad communication with the Queen is patently ridiculous.'

Poet Laureate Andrew Motion dismisses reports that the lack of royal encouragement caused writer's block.