Here is a list of the majority of the cancer that is killing Polaris. Our only hope is to make them quit by making them realize how shit they are, or convincing Spookerton, the true host, to take out the trash. To help with that, here are some facts obtained by INSIDE SOURCES about the """team""" and their friends/ERP partners.

But first, take a minute to appreciate what a circlejerk looks like here. Shown here is the reaction the circlejerk undergoes when receiving criticism from an outside source: http://imgur.com/a/QbDdo

Note that I didn't take the screenshot, was given it by a friend and comrade.

Now for the list.

AlabasterTempest - Tumblr in human(?) form. Rarely plays or does her(?) job. When they rarely do play, they play as Blake Evans, powergaming chemist or CMO. They follow a flow chart of chems to produce, or force their department to follow it, so that they can always win. Wants Unathi to have three to six genders because they have a mandate to push Tumblrism into everything related with the server, from the races to the actual server rules, by forbidding the use of Ligger because it's "toxic". Identifies as a Bad Dragon dildo.

Triggered by suggesting they stop making Polaris into their own personal Safe Space.

#SpaceRacism2560

Woodrat - Headmin who wants half of the server banned, and wishes that he could "clean house" IE ban all dissent. Waves his authority boner around, even if he has no right to, such as shooting down cool lore plans that would actually breathe life into the dead server. Has a hair trigger that makes him go from uncompromising to Auschwitz in under half a second, making rational debate impossible. Hates both Discord and Reddit, preferring to sit in their circlejerk teamspeak.

Easily triggered by dank memes and the suggestion of danger, or snowflakes dying.

#RemoveTeamspeak

Neerti - Singlehandedly made Polaris into the dead hugbox that it is today, by making the game UltraSafe(TM). Created glass shutters, mapped 16 pieces of armor in the armory, and coded two gimped gamemodes, it is obvious he wants SS13 to turn into a chat room. He is also unfit to run a dev ""team"", of which four people have quit from. Responds to criticism by pretending it doesn't exist. Plays Ellis Singh, a robot who speaks in an annoying gimmick despite being lorebreaking, because Staff. Also plays them beyond what a normal character could know, because again, Staff. Started the unitmeme. Tried to deny players the right of knowing what got changed by removing the changelog. Spawned fetishist items during a roleplay moment. Holds too much power, and Polaris has no hope of recovery unless this ""head dev"" who identifies as a robot IRL resigns or drops dead from no-lifing. For his sins against the spirit of SS13, only the second option is good enough.

Triggered by trying to contribute to the code if you don't do it 100% the way he wants.

#UnitIsAnnoyingAndUnoriginal

Anewbe - Always in Neerti's shadow, he does what Neerti does, which makes the dev team 100% fucked. Writes shit code that gets merged anyways because Staff. Writes code that is controversial but gets merged anyways because Staff. Plays Zane Keppel, a bland person lacking of personality, who exists to enforce their OOC will ICly in a way most players won't notice, by playing Captain or IA. Fucked balance up by adding laser batteries.

Triggered by starting arguments over Unathi lore.

#WhereIsTheLorePad

Sledge - A furry IRL. Plays Nawar Khalidah, a cat who fucks ZekeS's cat with barbs. Responsible for making cats as bad as they are today, both on Polaris and Bay.

Triggered by cat memes.

#ElderScrollsPleaseGo

Rainfall - Another powergaming medbay player with an edgy nickname. Plays John Salad. Also plays security, including HoS, as the same character. Because Staff.

Triggered by R1 spam.

#SecMedIsPowergame

Matrix - Another ERPer who is not banned because Polaris can't moderate their own staff. Wears just a gear harness so they can taunt everyone and is allowed to do so because picking the harness is "not a bug". Plays Monica Triminska. Lesbian and robot. Constantly makes lewdmemes everywhere they go even when asked to stop.

Triggered by forcing them to wear a uniform.

#NotABug

Dragor - Old German man who constantly goes on about every lewd thing or meme you can think of, even if its not funny. Played a 17 year old sec officer because staff privileges. Hardly plays now but maintains furry cat whitelists.

Triggered by arguing.

#OldManDragorThePedo

Fenodyree - Biggest powergaming fuck on Polaris and Bay combined. Only reason he is not banned on Polaris is because he is buddies with the admins. Plays Durathror Korakov, shitcurity renown.

Triggered by winning a fight against him and telling him to git gud.

#NoFunAllowed

MagmaRam - New moderator they brought in to try to fix the bleeding staff count. Plays Maria Crash, a lesbian.

Triggered by making engineering's storage capabilites sane.

#RealisticStorage

Mechoid - Plays a borg made out of spidermeme, called Acheron 7 Meme.

Triggered by synth nerfs.

#RigelMeme

ZekeS - Plays several furries, mainly Nibras Khalidah. Constantly talks about bombmeme. Has too much power and is untouchable despite what staff complaints have been filed against them.

Easily triggered by suggesting even the slightly amount of danger.

#TheStaffComplaintsTheyDoNothing

Nalarac - Woodrat's waifu. Plays Ann Liberty-Aran, who is not a lesbian but may as well be one because their husband doesn't actually exist.

Triggered by engineering incompetence.

#EngineeringOctomom

Searif - Plays Yuki Matsuda, a lesbian. Also a robot. Probably actually ERPs with staff. Canonically has four different bodies. Constantly asks other characters to robofuck with them.

Triggered by reminding them of their friends with staff privilege.

#StaffFriendsWithBenefits

ThoughtSynapsis - Creator of the spidermeme. Loves to grow giant spiders in research without telling anyone, and isn't banned for it because he is friends with staff, despite formal complaints made by players. Plays Johnathan Rigel, massive powergamer in science. Also plays Vivii Alanus, powergamer in cargo.

Triggered by removing science from the map.

#MakeLockersNotHoldSpiders2560

Ragnie - Portugese girl who gets triggered by the mention of tobacco for some reason. Easily triggered. Thought's waifu. Draws pictures for the circlejerk, some probably NSFW.

Triggered by absolutely everything.

#RipChewingTobacco

Rand0mname - Moderator who doesn't actually play, but when they do, they play noirmeme.

Triggered by the new forensics system.

#StopPlayingSecurity

Mangled - Admin who was kicked out of Bay. Is easily the shittest admin on the staff, but remains because they are friends with the staff. Plays many characters with the oh so clever foreign spellings of red, most of which are lesbians.

Triggered by pointing out how shit they are.

#ManUpMangled

Kholdstare34 - The most anime ever condensed into a person. Plays Carrie Woollard, who is a lesbian. Probably ERPs with Cyril. Dresses as a hooker for departments which make no sense, like engineering or security.

Triggered by wearing clothes.

#RemoveLesbians

Cyril - Kholdstare's waifu. Does potatomeme. Plays Ikya Railey, also a lesbian. Flatchested. Character gimmick involves being afraid of spidermeme.

Triggered by Hubblenaut.

#LesbiansAreShitCharacters

Ice_Princess - Plays various robots such as Willow Wisp, Charon, and Eclipse. Wisp is also an 80+ year old lesbian (of course) who goes topless. Eclipse is a baby robot belonging to Sona and Ellis, made by robofucking, will probably grow up to be a lesbian. Easily one of the biggest snowflakes (har har name). Constantly broke lore before becoming lorestaff, still continues to do so.

Triggered by being noticed on the Internet.

#NotInvisible

Sabess - Moderator who hasn't played in half a year, yet is kept, because Staff. Plays Maria Korchnoi, who is a lesbian.

Triggered by pointing out how many lesbians there are.

#PurgeTheInactive