(I work at a religious call center that takes prayer requests for the people who call in. It’s late on Sunday night.)

Caller: “Hi, I want prayer.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. What can I pray for you?”

Caller: “Are you wearing shoes?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am wearing shoes. What can I pray for you?”

Caller: “Can you take your shoes off?”

Me: “No, sir, we have a dress code. I can’t take my shoes off. ”

Caller: “Are you wearing high heels?”

Me: “No, sir. What can I pray for you?”

Caller: “What shoes are you wearing?” *in rapid succession* “Sandals, sling backs, sneakers, flip flops—”

Me: “Sir, I can’t talk about my shoes with you.”

Caller: *click*