Photo : Christopher Polk ( Getty )

Variety and Us Weekly report t hat adult contemporary group Maroon 5 will be the halftime performers at February’s Super Bowl LIII (pronounced “leeeeeee”) in Atlanta, probably because Imagine Dragons was already booked as the NHL’s in-house band.

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I enjoyed this line from the Variety report:

While the group is stylistically more similar to recent performers like Justin Timberlake and Bruno Mars than more controversial ones such as Beyonce and Lady Gaga...

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I think I speak for America when I say that we need to up our standards for what passes for controversy in the Super Bowl halftime show.

Anyway, who cares, I’m sure it’ll be like almost all halftime shows, fine and forgettable—except for Jaguars fans, for whom Maroon 5 will play an inextricable starring role in their memories of their team’s first championship.