“Captain Marvel” starring Brie Larson premiered in Los Angeles last night and we’re starting to see the reviews. In short, they’re not good with critics calling the film “forgettable,” “not top tier,” and “a work in progress.” But note how these critics upvoted the film on Rotten Tomatoes while still trashing it in their written review:

Rotten Tomatoes gives Captain Marvel a 90 percent grade even though some of the “positive” reviews use descriptions like “forgettable,” “not top tier,” and “a work in progress.” pic.twitter.com/7V9e6GEPno — Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) March 5, 2019

Reviews from across the spectrum are decidedly negative. The AP finds it “entirely average”:

Even the @AP isn't safe from institutionalized misogyny. HOW DOES THIS HELP WOMEN??? pic.twitter.com/EmG6rHkzpS — Conserving "Conserving Conservatism" Conservatism (@jtLOL) March 5, 2019

Screen Crush: “Never quite soars”:

Nice mansplaining, @screencrushnews. Guess what? People with scary lady-parts are actually human beings too. Google it! pic.twitter.com/hUUjZwct6C — Conserving "Conserving Conservatism" Conservatism (@jtLOL) March 5, 2019

We Go This Covered: A “radio-dubbed nostalgia mixtape”:

Yeah, "We Got This Covered," if "This" refers to hating women. Nice neckbeard, @wgtc_site, but this 21st entry in a beloved movie franchise isn't FOR you! #CaptainMarvel pic.twitter.com/KuPhK1EDjc — Conserving "Conserving Conservatism" Conservatism (@jtLOL) March 5, 2019

IndieWire: “Massively Disappointing”:

White males claim they're not scared of powerful women, right up until they see a woman exerting her power. Way to Make America Great Again, @IndieWire! pic.twitter.com/nMGMmNht0u — Conserving "Conserving Conservatism" Conservatism (@jtLOL) March 5, 2019

TimeOut NY: “doesn’t quite rise to the occasion of its own significance”:

Your name is appropriate, @TimeOutNewYork, because you need to take a time-out like a little baby for your misogyny against females and women. #NoH8, you fucking assholes!!! pic.twitter.com/3pNZ9EacoN — Conserving "Conserving Conservatism" Conservatism (@jtLOL) March 5, 2019

Slant Magazine: “Sputters”:

Excuse me, @Slant_Magazine, but this is the line for #CaptainMarvel, not Triumph of the Will. Stay in your lane! pic.twitter.com/WeuJnglCSx — Conserving "Conserving Conservatism" Conservatism (@jtLOL) March 5, 2019

Vox: “Plays it safe when it could have been something fearless and bold”:

A woman is finally allowed to star in a movie, and @voxdotcom just can't handle it. Um, no, #CaptainMarvel will NOT FIX you a sandwich! pic.twitter.com/1YNToM145s — Conserving "Conserving Conservatism" Conservatism (@jtLOL) March 5, 2019

The Atlantic: What?

This does not empower women, @TheAtlantic, CLAP LOUDER pic.twitter.com/3YKF1zrgSJ — Conserving "Conserving Conservatism" Conservatism (@jtLOL) March 5, 2019

The AV Club: “Underwhelming”:

So maybe we can stop blaming men’s rights activists or trolls or whatever BS they’re dreaming up to explain why people won’t like the film.

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