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General Blogs I remember the time when my friend found out that her mother was in her final stages of cancer; she was devastated. The shock was too big to bear and too painful to suppress. Yet, she made it through those last months of her mother with great resolve and strength. Witnessing how she kept going on despite knowing that the shadows of death were lurking in the air, I learned a great deal from her about coping with such difficult situations. Get Yourself Together The first thing I learned was that it is very important to get yourself together when you find out that a loved one of yours has been diagnosed as terminally ill. Such news can take a long time to absorb and digest but keeping one's calm and composure is more important than anything else at this point. The more composed you are, the more relaxed your loved one would feel and that is what they need the most at this time. Make Last Days comfortable and Stress Free Find out ways to make the last days of your loved one most comfortable and stress-free. As you seek second opinions and alternatives for their treatment, don't drain them by pushing them too much to try one treatment after another. Yes, you don't want to lose them but death is inevitable. Understand this fact and put their comfort before anything else. Understand the Seriousness of this Situation Don't ignore the elephant in the room. You know the gravity of the situation and whether you say it or not, your loved one can sense it too. Hence, instead of acting 'all normal', take this opportunity and voice your love for your loved one. Few people get the opportunity to say goodbye to their loved ones and while it may be painful to know that they are nearing towards death with every passing day, use this time to build deeper connections with them. Spend time with them and talk about all the wonderful things you two may have shared. Thank them for the joy they brought to your life and recall the beautiful times spent together. It is not a bad time to make apologies and clear the air of any misunderstanding. If they have any stress about their dependents whom they will leave behind, assure them of your commitment towards them. Communicate through Gestures & Touch Some people go into a coma due to their illness or a fatal accident. Even then they need the presence of their loved ones in their dying days. Many can hear in such a condition too and listening to their loved ones express their feelings for them can mean a great deal to them. Talk through your gestures and touch, caress them or stroke them to tell them how special they are, even facial expressions can say volumes at such a sensitive time.

One of the biggest mistakes we make is putting off bidding farewell to a dying dear one. We keep waiting for the right time or keep denying the reality until it's too late. Don't let that happen to you. As difficult as it may be, voice your fondness for him. Tell him how you are hoping to spend the next few decades with him but life can surprise us which is why you want them to know that if that happens, you consider yourself extremely fortunate to have had them in your life. Words and gestures like these can do the job of healing at such a time, for love is a great healer. You can even write a letter or send a video or audio note to your loved one if direct conversation seems too difficult. Doing something special for them like this, or bringing them their favorite flowers or movies, making them smile at silly jokes, dozing off as you sit by their bedside, all communicate your love for them and that is all they need in their last moments. You can also make funeral arrangements such as buying headstones for sale, selecting the right granite memorial etc. or politely ask them if they want something special lined up for their funeral.

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