I want to tell you a story about judging someone unfairly.

A while back, a journalist in the industry insulted a game developer I respect in a particularly cruel and public way. I unconsciously of put him into a “jackass” category in my head. This is a very bifurcated, unfair box - a mental shortcut that we all take without realizing it. It’s a very human reaction. This person hurt by friend, ergo he is bad and I should shun him.

A few months later, this journalist followed me on Twitter and I proudly blocked him, announcing it to the world. I had a friend of mine pull me aside at PAX Prime and tell me I was being unfair to the guy. That he knew him and could vouch for him. That made me take a beat, reconsider if I was being fair. And so, I decided to give the guy a second chance.

Over the last few months, I’ve gotten to know him better. This same person I thought was a jackass rescued a precious little puppy he found discarded into an alley. And even though he and his family are cat people, he took this dog, has loved this dog and provides that dog a wonderfully loving home. That’s a truly loving, human thing to do.



This person I thought was a jackass? Well, they care about people in medical debt. They’re bothered by the way women are treated. And though we don’t share the same perspective - I know this person is trying.

To be blunt, I took the worst moment of this journalist’s life and I judged him by it. And it was unfair.

The reason I’m sharing this is, I think we’re all battle weary from 2014. How could anyone NOT be exhausted? It’s been outrage all year long. When someone does something we don’t like, we get into a pack and go blast them. This goes for all sides, even mine.



As I’m thinking about the person I want to be in 2015, that’s not it.



My New Year’s resolution is to try to show more patience and grace for the people in games. And my God, is it hard sometimes - especially being a tech feminist. Every day I run into industry people willfully ignorant about the problems women face, and it’s exhausting to deal with.

Ultimately, showing people a little more patience and grace isn’t about justice - it’s about my own personal happiness. To be blunt, I can’t take another year of being at war.



I’m not going to lie and tell you I’ll be perfect at this. I’m sure I’ll fail as much as I’ll succeed. But, if there’s anything I’ve learned being a developer, it’s you can’t get where you need to be if you don’t set mission objectives.



Here’s to a more constructive, positive 2015!

Bri