Anonymous in Brattleboro, Vermont, writes:



I’m writing about the worst of gender identity disorder, when you believe you’ve made the worst mistake of your life. Can I ever go back to being a healthy, reproductive-capable male after being on and off HRT (female hormone replacement therapy) for ten years? I’ve had the misfortune of having gotten into a position in which I was given misleading information about the legitimacy of gender identity disorder. Transfolks — both mtf and ftm — encouraged me to take the path that I now regret to the point of absolute misery and confusion. I want to do what I can to save what life I have, yet I feel so ashamed of myself. I now think that transgender folks taking hormones are essentially desecrating their bodies, possibly with permanent damage that will ruin their capabilities to produce offspring. What do you suggest I do? I’ve been in and out of therapy, where I’m generally told to make up my own mind.



Marilyn responds:



I’m so sorry for the rough road you’ve traveled. I’m not a medical doctor or a therapist, but I do have two suggestions, assuming you were born an XY (normal) male. First, visit your internist and get tested to determine your medical situation regarding the hormone therapy. And if the results are not to your liking, ask him or her what, if anything, you can do about it. At that point, also ask your internist to recommend a therapist who can help you get through the transition to become what you say you want to be: a healthy, reproductive-capable gay man.