Had she known then what she knows now, Deborah “would’ve run a mile and would advise anyone else to do the same.” But it wasn’t until two years in and she was six months pregnant that the first alarm bell rang.

“It was the way he reacted to something,” she recalls, “He wasn’t shouting but kind of lashing out. I wasn’t afraid he was going to hurt me, but something in his behaviour made me think, Oh shit, what have I got myself into?”

It would be another decade before she knew that what she’d gotten herself into was a relationship with someone meeting all the diagnostic criteria of NPD, “He completely lacks empathy; he just cannot see the world through any eyes but his own. You know how toddlers are entitled and need things now? He doesn’t even know he is doing it.

Deborah’s words could be straight out of the DSM, which describes narcissistic relationships as, “largely superficial and (existing) to serve self-esteem regulation...constrained by little genuine interest in others’ experiences and predominance of a need for personal gain.”

Richard admits to “manipulating people,” but rejects the idea he lacks empathy. He says his narcissism gave him a “drive to get ahead” and he now has a job with a small public profile. “I know what people are feeling. Unfortunately, I didn’t use that in a good way,” he adds.

Even therapy was only something he agreed to in order to win Deborah back. “It took me several years to realise that this wasn’t a game, that I had some built-in behaviour patterns that were very unhealthy.”

Since then, it’s been a slow process of accepting and managing his condition. “How do I stop trying to dominate the discussion and trying to be the funniest person? It’s like an addiction – I take it one day at a time,” he explains.

“I won’t say understanding his condition has lead us to place where everything is okay,” Deborah says, “But I just don’t take the crap anymore.”

After years of therapy, Richard rejects the idea that narcissism is untreatable. “I’m listening to people more so I’m learning more and I’m making closer friendships. I don’t feel there is anyone in my life at the moment that I am hurting but I have to stay on top of it every day.

“To anyone else with this condition, I want to say, you don’t have to accept this because people say there is no cure. Yes, it’s hard but you can manage it.”