The next time you find yourself doing something that you know you shouldn’t do, ask yourself this question: What am I running from?

We often consider our flaws to be a lack of willpower to resist our cravings. The unhealthy food, the materialistic possessions, the social media approval, etc. Where do these cravings come from?

Desire stems from a lack of contentment. When we feel bad, when things are not going the way we want them to, we run away from those feelings. Our running is then often interpreted in the wrong directionality: we think that we are running toward something we want, but in reality, we are running away from something we don’t want.

It is still possible to crave things because they are delicious, good, wholesome, healthy, fun, etc. Life should have pleasures. But what is going on when we are running toward things that we know we should not be? Often, it is because we are stuck in the state of running away.

The most extreme case of this is an addiction. If asked, an addict would likely maintain that their vice is so good that they cannot stop themselves. Because of how it makes them feel. But if we break down the phenomenology of each instance, a different conclusion emerges.

Take heroin away from an addict and you aren’t just taking away their source of pleasure. You are taking away their respite from pain. The addict will experience intense distress and agony. These feelings illuminate what is really going on here: They are running away from something.

In a recent episode of the Waking Up Podcast, author Johann Hari discusses how addiction and depression stem from loneliness, isolation, and despair. Substances themselves can be physically addictive. However, if addictive substances were distributed to a large sample of people, most of those people would not subsequently become addicted. The people who would become addicted would be the ones who are suffering the most. Those who lack meaning, community, happiness, fulfillment. Those in most need of peace.

Hari argues that the way society views drug addiction is all wrong. If the heroin itself is the only problem, then providing addicts with free, safe heroin would be a terrible treatment model. However, many countries have successfully implemented Heroin-Assisted Treatment to combat addiction. These centers address the root of the problem and offer resources: they help patients find jobs, treat mental illness, reconnect with family. In short, they treat the real cause of the addiction. What they find is that when those factors are addressed, people use less or stop using altogether, despite having free access to heroin. Our society wages a war on drugs, when in reality, it needs to wage a war against suffering.

Understanding why we behave the way we do is useful for everyone, not just those with serious addictions. The basic human drive to avoiding suffering is at the root of much of our negative behavior.

A good example is trying to sit with an itch on your nose. You are not driven to scratch it because of the pleasure you get from scratching it. You are driven because you want the unpleasant sensation to stop. You are running from discomfort.

Why It Matters

Why should you care if you are running toward or away from something? What’s the difference?

Humans are very bad at understanding themselves. We cannot address and solve the issues we are running from if we are not even aware that we are running.

Understanding this concept can be extremely liberating. If someone feels like they are addicted to a detrimental behavior— unhealthy food, drugs, risk-taking, etc. — they can feel powerless. No one gets to choose what they like, what they are drawn to. However, understanding this paradigm flips the script.

Instead of being inexorably drawn toward something we did not really choose, in reality, we are just running away from something we may not fully understand.

We always have the ability to stop running.