ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Australia’s highest paid executive has told The Advocate this morning that there’s not much that can be done to ease the cost of flying to and from the bush, despite raking in almost $24m last year in bonuses and salary.

Qantas CEO Alan Joyce released a statement earlier this morning regarding the popular practice of price-gouging country families, especially at a time when regional communities are doing it tough around the nation.

“I don’t expect you people to understand,” said Mr Joyce.

“But there’s absolutely no way of making flights cheaper to and from regional areas. It’s a fuel cost issue. It’s a supply and demand issue,”

“At Qantas, we’re committed to connecting people. Whether that be just up the coast or on the other side of the world. We do it at the best possible price but we set our prices so you don’t have to fly with people in singlets and thongs. If you can’t afford to fly with us, you’re probably cut from the singlet and thong cloth, you just don’t realise it yet.”

When asked if he could perhaps forgo a bit of his largely inappropriate and absurd pay packet to help lower the cost for flying in the country, Mr Joyce explained that wouldn’t be enough.

“Do I look like the fucking Smith Family to you? Huh? Have I got a sign on my back saying Salvation Army?”

“Look at the return I got for shareholders this year, go fuck yourself.”

The Advocate reached out to Virgin Australia for comment but they were too busy ripping the copper out of the walls of their offices to pay the power bill.

More to come.



