We're sure many delivery drivers throughout history have had the thought, "what if I also delivered drugs? I'm already out and about, twice the money, etc."

Presumably all of these delivery drivers have had the secondary thought, "nah that's like, an extremely bad idea" immediately afterwards.

Not our guy. The unnamed Liverpool Domino's delivery person has apparently been leaving their calling card among the pizzas and cinnamon sticks, offering "various illegal substances" reports the Liverpool Echo.

The card provided two different phone numbers, with the offer of "WEED, MDMA, PILLS, KET, RAW COKE AND MUCH MORE. GET ON ME, DROP OFFS ALL NIGHT."

The calling cards were signed "SMOKEY," which doesn't make a ton of sense, really, because most of the drugs offered were not of the smoking variety, but perhaps it's a part of their origin story.

A recipient of the card on Feb. 10 reported the incident to the Merseyside Police, who are currently investigating.

Nina Arnott, a spokesperson for Domino’s commented: “We have suspended the individual in question whilst we investigate this issue in conjunction with Merseyside Police.”

So investigations are underway. Pizza-seekers are no longer being offered unsolicited illicit substances. "SMOKEY" has been unmasked, and probably regrets leaving a literal paper trail.

Through it all, pizza prevails.