I moved out of Brighton earlier this year, probably for good. Thus ended my seven year-long dirty weekend in a town that was once a synonym for vice. It’s too clean to live in now. London’s prim-and-proper liberals have descended.

The change is symbolised by the i360 tower, which was opened this week by the Duke of Edinburgh. It’s a monstrosity. On the waterfront of a Georgian town now stands a 531ft pole, crowned by a metal doughnut that slides up and down like an office lift.

To create a view the council ruined a view. I used to live in Regency Square, opposite where the tower now stands, and could see the beach, the sea and the skeletal remains of the West Pier, which burned down in 2003.