Abby and Madi sittin’ in a tree, K-I-L-L-I-N-G!

Two of our heroes became straight-up cold-blooded murderers this episode, with absolutely zero qualms, and very little justification. WHAT FUN! (Wellllll, I suppose one of them has SOME justification, but we all know it’s not the move she would have played if there wasn’t a creep squatting in her brain)

This was an exciting episode of The 100, not because of the usual WHAAAAAA? factor, but simply for the, “please don’t kill my favourite, please don’t kill my favourite,” factor. I honestly thought we might lose someone this episode. That’s what this show has done to me. I never feel safe. NEVER.

Exhibit A – goodbye Henry Ian Cusik????????????????????????? WHAT THE WHAT??? Did we know this was happening? Did you? I didn’t. I honestly thought his character was just going to be put on ice while the actor was off on an adventure, then he would come back all, “what’d I miss?”

BUT NOPE. His brain was sucked out of his body and smushed into another body, and we had to say goodbye the dreamboat we know and love. Man oh man, I was TAKEN ABACK, you guys.

Thank you to Henry Ian Cusik for being one half of our beloved KaneAndAbby’sSexualTension. You brought a soft, haunted, soulful character to life, grew him a mighty beard, and took him on the show’s best redemptive arc to date. High-five, sir.

What in the world. Was it from getting old? Was it the motorcycle ride? Did some woodland creatures make Octavia’s head their home while she slept? I was very confused by this.

Octavia and Diyoza best-friended all over each other, and were like, “we’re gonna use this guy and then murder the shit out of him, right?” Then they did a go-Bayside cheer and jumped up and down.

Confirmed!! Xavier is Gabriel! Diyoza ain’t no fool. She wasn’t even around for the whole body-snatching reveal, but girl knows her back-of-the-neck scars, and she put it all together impressively quickly.

To his credit, Gabriel was 100% unfazed by getting found out, and was like, “you comin’ or what?” What a fun trio. Seriously. I would watch 7 hours of these guys just making a gingerbread castle. Hahaha, IMAGINE??? They would quip so hard, and maybe have a mini-food fight. *sigh* What were we talking about? Oh right. Octavia was aging rapidly and going (more) coo-coo, so they had to get to the anomaly lickety-split.

Meanwhile in space, Raven was quite displeased when she learned of Abby’s plan to make a Kane 2.0.

This fellow’s name was Gavin for a hot second before he was swiftly mind-murdered by Simone to make room for Kane. Raven frowned so hard, then skedaddled so as not to be party to even more moral depravity. Classic Raven!

Elsewhere, Jo told her dad about the eviction failure, and he was like, “oh perfect, that’s so great, now we can fix the problem we created and not be TOTAL villains, what good luck!” and Jo was like, “hahahahahhahha… wait seriously?” Girl does NOT want to give up Clarke’s body, and honestly, can you blame her??

YIIIIIIIIKES. Madi pitched alllllllllllll the murder. Just all of it. The Primes. The people who will rise up to fight because these strangers murdered their Gods. Maybe even the dog (don’t you dare). Just errrrrrrbody. Sure, Madi is being manipulated by a creepy monster from Nightmare the Video Board Game, but still, girl has gone Octavia Season 4.

To be fair, I can see how she got here. Maybe even without Sheidheda squatting in her brain, she may have wanted to wipe out the Primes as revenge for her Clarke-mom. Maybe she thinks it’s the best path to survival for her people. But I like to think that Madi-OG wouldn’t have jumped on the murder train quite so gleefully.

Murphy PROPOSED to Emori in a “let’s be together for literal forever” kind of way. This was both sweet and horrific. “They murdered our friend, and now we get to live forever, yay!”

Sadly, they were interrupted by a body-snatched sociopath who needed Ryker to do some brain-magic on her.

Ryker did NOT seem pleased to encounter his old Prime buddy! As it turns out, HE was the one who got Gabriel out of Sanctum, which makes him an accessory to terrorism or something, which only Jo knows about. Looks like our dreamboat murdering mechanic isn’t such a bad guy after all!

Murphy is feeling all sorts of things and Richard Harmon is nailing them all. He learned that Clarke is still sort-of-alive, and his reaction was DELICIOUS. He was all, “is she watching like some kind of peeping weirdo?” and Jo was like, “yeah, and she’s piiiiiiiiised at YOU,” and Murphy was like, “well that’s troubling,” and Jo was all, “J/K, bitch knows less than Jon Snow.” and Murphy was like, “you mean Aegon Targaryen,” and Jo was like, “nerd.”

Anyway, in order to fully murder Clarke they needed a whatsit, but don’t worry, Emori was on the case!

Emori told them that Clarke is 1) alive, and 2) being for-realsies murdered very soon.

I AM WILDLY HAPPY. Emori is a survivor. It’s a big part of why she and the Beautiful Creepster are made for each other. I wasn’t surprised when she agreed to the deal, but in my heart of hearts I was still hoping she’d choose her makeshift family over her own longevity – and she DID.

Her character development over the seasons is truly something to behold. Think of the poor Grounder she let fry in Becca’s lab in order to save her own life. Would that young woman put herself on the line for her friends? Emori has always been so damn cool, and very intelligent, but now that she’s connect to a group, a family, she’s even more compelling. Emori CARES. All it took for her to flip to the side of ‘good’ was a lingering look at her chosen family… *heart explodes*. And on top of it all, Luisa D’Oliveira plays her with such freaking STYLE.

Emori is never allowed to die, is what I’m saying.

Wowwowowowowowwowowow girl just WENT FOR IT. Her plan was to make it look like the Children of Gabriel were on a murder-spree, and to get to the rest of the Primes when they panic and hunker. Nothing like a little pre-teen pre-meditated murder! I wonder how Madi is going to feel about this when (if?) she gets free of the Gatekeeper.

Back in FurnGully, the Dream Team were entering Hallucinatiland, and it seemed like a lot of fun.

Gabriel had an awkward chat with his ex, Octavia saw a bound and gagged Bellamy (from that one time when she kinda sorta ordered his probable death), and Diyoza got to hang out with her unborn daughter. We also learned that Gabriel’s resurrection was NOT consensual, which means he’s still an almost-sort-of good guy, even though this whole plot line was his doing.

Abby needed Raven to go on a Spacewalk so they could finish Becca’s nightblood serum (which needs to be in zero gravity to work). This did not go well, seeing as Raven and Abby are currently in a fight. Raven was all, “go suck on an alligator’s tail,” and Abby was like, “what does that even-” and Raven was like, “I hope it’s slimy!” and then Abby was all, “fine, I’ll just do it myself,” and Raven was like, “fine,” and Abby was like, “FINE.”

Meanwhile, Jo and her gang were setting up the machine shop for brain surgery (LOL), but Emori skedaddled with the EMP right in the middle of Jo’s threatening speech!

She lead Jo and Murphy through the fields right to the edge of Sanctum (NO REASON!). Murphy was all, “why though?” and Emori was like, “because I’m freaking awesome, that’s why.” Then Bellamy and Echo showed up!

What followed was a pretty funny bit where Jo kept listing all the ways they would be foiled, and the Squad kept shutting her down with very viable solutions.

BUT

Jo put a knife to Murphy’s throat and told them to back down or she’ll kill him. YOU GUYS, I WAS HONESTLY VERY SCARED. Meanwhile, the Prime bodies were found, and Madi’s plan was thrown into motion, complete with panic, mayhem, and an alarm that prevented Jackson from getting to the rest of the Squad.

MURPHY TOLD THEM TO FIND GABRIEL BECAUSE HE CAN HELP BRING CLARKE BACK YES YES YES PRAISE BE TO THE TV GODS. *ahem* Look, I know this doesn’t redeem him completely, but our beloved Beautiful Creepster has always been a complicated guy, and we have always loved him anyway. He chose the right side in the end, like he always has. So Jo went ahead and CUT HIM UP (I am displeased).

I love Echo. I love her. Girl has found herself in HER makeshift family, and it’s so damn beautiful. She’ll do anything for them, and that includes Clarke, a woman she barely knows, but will fight for because she’s loved by the people Echo loves. Oh, and she saved her life that one time. I need these two ladies to share some legit screen-time when one of them isn’t being possessed by a sociopath. Please please please please.

Even though the baddies were on their way, Emori stayed with Murphy and was all, “I will love you forever,” and my heart melted. I just want the whole Squad to love each other again and be happy.

NOOOOOOO!!!! Madi went to stab Priya, but Jordan was all, “not on my watch, little missy!” and jumped in front of the knife, getting stabbed instead.

DON’T YOU DARE, SHOW. *scared sniffle* don’t you dare.

Diyoza’s unborn-daughter-halucination lead her to the anomaly, and she was like, “seems fun,” and plooped on in there. Naturally Octavia followed (because their bond is one that shall never be broken), but then instantly popped back out. She was cured of her intense aging, and also kicked out the woodland creatures that were living in her hair. Yay!

Back in Sanctum, the remaining Primes were like, “well this sucks, let’s punish these no-good murderers!”, and Ryker was like, “that’s rich coming from you.” I love that Ryker was upset about the murder, and his mom was upset that Russel didn’t wait his turn. Hahahaha, that seems pretty right.

The guards brought a bloodied Emori and a Murphy in to show off their catch, and then Russel very intensely told Jade to go get his daughter. Ohhhhh next episode is going to be wackadoodle!

Meanwhile in space Raven decided to do the spacewalk (I just want them to hug it out so bad), reasoning that Abby AND Kane AND that random dude dying is wasteful.

Kane is back! And he’s so sexy it’s bonkers. Like seriously, did the Primes give Abby a choice of tributes? Or did they just decide to get the MOST attractive person on the entire planet? I do not blame ANYONE for this.

And that’s that! Every single character on this show is in some sort of pickle, and it is DELIGHTFUL. I am, as always, very pumped for the next episode. What kind of wacky hijinks will Jo and Bellamy get up to? What’s Diyoza doing in that anomaly? Will there be a Blake sibling reunion? What’s Gaia up to? How’s Jordan?? How’s the Beautiful Creepster?? What’s Echo got up her sleeve? Is stabbing Jordan going to be the wake-up call Madi needs to kick Sheidheda to the mind-curb? Will there be any more cookies?

I’m pumped, you guys. Very. Pumped.

SOME STUFF

Are they going to bring back Clarke before her mom even finds out that she was “dead”? That is very on-brand for Abby.

“Look at us finishing each other’s thoughts. Who’da thunk we’d turn into an old married couple?” YES YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES. Ivana Milicevic’s comic timing as Diyoza is just… *chef’s kiss*

The anomaly sucks up all the radio signals and plays them on a loop like some sort of poorly edited radio show! That is very cool for all the reasons. So, are these signals happening THROUGH TIME??? I hope we get more on this.

“What we do know is that I’m the Commander.” – Madi, laying down the LAW.

The Primes have a weird glass box of nightblood now, so form a queue, brainwashed Nulls!

Murphy keeps mentioning that one time Clarke almost put Emori in the nightblood chamber, but fails to remember that she DIDN’T go through with it, and tested it on HERSELF instead. And then she gave Emori her helmet thing! And then she saved the entire Spaceventure Squad! Ugh. What is Murphy’s DEAL? Why is he so anti-Clarke this season? It’s making my heart sad.

Do we think Diyoza is going to walk out of that anomaly with a toddler? Or maybe a teenager? Messing with time is fun!

Hi Niylah! More Niylah please!

Emori’s “what” after Murphy told her about his possible immortality was perfect. More Emori please!

#MacksonForever

How do we think Gaia is doing? Will she run into any of her pals out there? Please please please please.

Welcome to the Squad, Greyston Holt. You have some big ol’ dreamy shoes to fill as Kane, but so far it looks like you’re up to the haunted, heroic, morally gray, dreamy task.

Just gonna leave this here:

“Two serpents. One garden.” “That’s right.” Just when I think I love them THE MOST I can possible love them, they make me love them even more.



OKAY THAT’S IT I LOVE YOU BYE STAY SAFE OUT THERE!