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The "Curse of Bellingham " Washington

A dissertation on the most anti-social place in the world

By Winston Wu





?Once you?ve lived in Bellingham , when you leave it, circumstances bring you back?

- The Bellingham curse as described to me by long-time residents

?Bellingham is like a black hole, drawing people in and sucking back those who try to get away?

- How I would describe Bellingham and its alleged curse

?The only constants in Bellingham are boredom, loneliness, and anti-sociality. It is the only place I know of where flirting is vilified as a crime to the female population.?

- Me again

Table of Contents

Introduction - What is the curse?

Examples of the alleged curse

Explanations for the alleged curse

Bellingham?s major deficiencies

- Stagnation of mind and soul in a dead lifeless environment/vibe

- Dominant isolation mentality the norm in Washington

- The most anti-social closed people in the world

- Visual proof of anti-social WA public on ferry ride vs. opposite in Europe

* Interactive experiment you can do to verify my claims

- Validation from The Seattle Times that I?m right

- In Bellingham: going out alone = staying alone

* Results of internet mass mailing attempts

- The most stuck up girls in the world - anti-social, anti-stranger, anti-flirtatious, non-inclusive

- Probably the only place in the world where flirting is a crime

* Interactive experiment you can do to verify my claims

- 2 constants in Bellingham - boredom and loneliness

- ?Social life holocaust? worse than horror fiction

- $1000 offer to anyone who can prove me wrong

- No opportunity, repressed job market, deadbeats abound

- Why many who hate Bellingham or Washington don?t admit it

Is the problem me?

How I came to be in Bellingham and why I kept returning to it

Conclusion

- Suggestions and inspiration for leaving Bellingham

Reader Responses

Addendum: Opposing views from those who love Bellingham and my responses

Addendum: Does Washington have a mysterious force that keeps people in it?

Addendum: What people are saying about Bellingham on Craig?s List (I?m glad I?m not the only one that?s sane!)

Updates on my life after leaving Bellingham in June 2006

- Awe-inspiring photographic proof that my life is infinitely better outside Bellingham and the USA

Note: The claims I make in this essay are not intended to be scientific, but based on my years of meticulous observations and experiences in Bellingham . Though others may have differing views and experiences (such as shown in the addendum of this article), so far no one has been able to prove my assertions wrong, and certainly not by the hands-on interactive experiments I offer readers to do to verify my claims* , such as the message board forum and shopping mall experiments. I also don?t mean to overgeneralize in this essay either, but at the same time, one cannot deny that different PATTERNS do exist between regions and cultures.

Introduction ? What is the curse?



After being in and out of Bellingham , WA for 6 years, there are many words I would describe it with:

closed, cliquish, anti-social, reclusive, secluded, isolating, trapped, remote, anti-stranger, uptight, stuck up, boring, dull, stagnating, suffocating, mind-numbing, a closed shell, a pain in the ass to drive to the nearest city to do anything, lonely, gloomy, dead, lifeless, devoid of any energy, passion, character, etc., devoid of EVERYTHING - social life, fun, jobs, dating scene, etc., depressing, anal-retentive, unapproachable girls with an anti-stranger femnazi ?all men are creeps? mentality, anti-men, the only place in the world where flirting is a crime, worst dating scene/nightmare for single men, the ?Hades of social life?, full of sadists and masochists who love loneliness and boredom, negative repressed vibe, energy vampire, energy/life force sucking, energy vacuum, black hole that sucks people in and those who try to leave, vortex that sucks the life force out of you and turns you into a vegetable, vibe/energy on a polarity opposite to mine, poison to my life force and aura, a TOTAL WASTE OF LIFE, a place where time just drags on and on with no purpose, a dead burial ground for your life, a place where people live and think with a narrow tunnel-vision and live in a tight ?box? isolated from the rest of the world, etc.

Many like to say that Bellingham is a nice place. Sure, it might be a nice place if you have no sexual desires, don?t like to meet beautiful women, are anti-social, reclusive, isolationist, or a hermit. If not, it can be a living nightmare.

Obviously, your next instinct would be to ask why I am here then. Well that's what I ask myself everyday. Of course I don?t want to be here and never did. It is the topic I am trying to explore in this essay, but I will go over my story later of why I keep getting trapped in the worst place to live in the world. What might surprise you though if you?ve never been here, is that in spite of how I described Bellingham above, almost everyone here LOVES it and never leaves! That is so freaking odd to me, that everyday I feel like I?m in the ?Twilight Zone? here.

In fact, most people who have lived here one time or another, don't seem to ever leave, at least not permanently. Many years after I arrived, I continue to see most of the same people working the same dead end jobs there.

You see, in this town, there is a legendary "curse of Bellingham " where once you live here, you are destined (or doomed perhaps) to stay. Those who attempt to leave are often brought back by a series of circumstances, sometimes against their own will. It's a phenomenon so common and frequent among Bellingham residents, that it earned itself the reputation of being a ?curse.? It?s not known how or why such an alleged curse works, only that its effects seem eerily real, as well as a noticeable pattern.

I?m not saying that no one has ever lived and left Bellingham for good of course, for some have. But there is such an unusual high percentage of folks young and old, who come and never leave, or who leave and are brought back somehow, way above normal, that people can?t help but notice this pattern. Other towns in the world that are of Bellingham ?s size don?t usually have this reputation. Even places with a foresty damp northern climate and environment similar to Bellingham do not have this odd phenomenon, but instead have a normal migration and de-migration rate. That?s what makes Bellingham unique compared to areas similar to it in appearance, which defies rational explanation.

Therefore, this alleged curse wouldn?t apply to everyone, only certain people it chooses to put a stranglehold on. Perhaps it has a mind of its own and selects those whom it chooses (kind of like how God in Calvinistic doctrine pre-selects those he wishes to become saved through predestination). Who knows? But whatever the case, life in Bellingham for many feels like an over-extended series of Gilligan?s Island episodes where the crew is never able to leave.

First though, before we continue, for those of you who don?t know where Bellingham is, it?s situated in the northwestern part of Washington state in the Pacific Northwest of America. It?s located right off highway Interstate 5 (which runs through Washington , Oregon , and California ) about 30 minutes below the Canadian border. I would not call it a small town, for in a small town almost everyone knows each other and are very sociable toward one another, but Bellingham residents are anything but (which will be explained later). And I would not say it?s a suburb either, as no major cities are near it, though it does have a suburban type environment and atmosphere. Rather, I?d describe it as a remote isolated spread out town in the middle of nowhere, far and estranged from any interesting action. Its terrain consists of forests, trees, lakes, and hills. With a population of only about 67,000 (as of year 2000 census) the town is spread out over a vast area, giving it a larger land area than you might expect for its population. And of course giving everyone a lot of privacy, seclusion and isolation (which certain type of people like in abundance). You can see pictures of the Bellingham and Whatcom County area here: http://whatcom.kulshan.com/ , http://whatcom.kulshan.com/Washington/Whatcom_County/Bellingham/default.htm, and http://www.bellingham.org/ (Note: Don?t let the nice scenery fool you though; most of the time, it?s cloudy and gloomy, and the vibe is dead and depressing).

Now don?t get me wrong here. The town is situated in pretty scenery. However, like a hot airhead blonde girl, its beauty is only skin deep, totally devoid of any depth, substance, personality, energy, life, or anything of worth, which soon becomes apparent to any normal person. Of course, no doubt the town is peaceful, but if peaceful is all you need in your simple life, and nothing else, then perhaps the town would suit you. But for the ambitious, no frickin way!

I would say that Bellingham and Washington state in general is good for a week vacation, but that?s it. Living there is suffocating to your mind, body, and soul, to the point of causing insanity and wasting years of your life.

Examples of the alleged curse

Now here are some examples of the workings of this alleged curse.

From a case that transpired in my life, back in 2001, I went to Virginia City , Nevada , a touristy Old West town near Reno . For 6-7 months, I had a great time, a great job and girlfriend. Suddenly, before my last month there, it all came down suddenly. I lost it all and reached such a dead end, in conjunction with a faltering economy there, that I couldn?t even get a job at a 7-11 cause I had to be put on the waiting list for it! With nowhere else to turn, I went home to Bellingham for Christmas, where my parents were. While there, a good government job I applied for a year before suddenly became available and was offered to me. Though I preferred to stay in Nevada , with a dead end there, I felt that the only door was back to Bellingham for that job. So, conveniently, the doors closed and opened for me without my control, all the way to Bellingham (poo hooh). Like a zombie, I followed the curse?s shaping of my destiny, back to my nemesis town of Bellingham ! So you see, this is an example from my own life of the way the curse works, causing ?circumstances to bring you back to Bellingham ?.

It seemed ominous how all the circumstances on both sides were exactly timed to bring me back to Bellingham . It was as if God or the universe opened and closed doors in a way to bring me back to Bellingham .

There are, I hear, many such stories from those who have tried to leave Bellingham before.

One guy I worked with at a temp job told me that he once moved away to San Diego to seek a better life, but after he was laid off, he described, ?I felt like I just had to leave San Diego for some reason! But I?ve been miserable ever since I came back to Bellingham .?

An actor and singer I met who calls himself by the pseudonym ?Johnny Midnite?, said that he liked staying in Bellingham because he liked being ?a big fish in a small pond?. But later on, when he read my other essay detailing the deficiencies of Bellingham (an earlier version of this one), he said that what I wrote was true and should be published in the local papers here, which he promised to help do (but never did). What?s odd here is that if he agreed with my extreme anti-Bellingham views, then why the heck would he be here still, especially since he?s divorced, jobless (when I met him), and therefore has no obligations here? It makes no sense.

This ?curse of Bellingham ? not only applies to mundane accounts, but to unusual ones as well. For instance, I heard about this couple driving through Washington on their way to Alaska , when their car broke down while passing through Bellingham . When they tried to get it fixed, a series of events happened to make them stay. And years since, they?ve remained in Bellingham , never having made it to Alaska . Such accounts are chilly and creepy, and attest to the unusual, perhaps supernatural nature of this ?curse of Bellingham ?, whatever it is.

Similarly, two Finnish backpackers I know traveling the world ran out of funds and ended up in Bellingham , not at the same time though, about a week apart. One of them I met through couchsurfing.com, a free accommodation site, whom I hosted in my home. What?s uncanny is that they both ran out of money exactly as they approached Bellingham (apparently this curse has the power to drain funds as well?). Ironically, their plan is to work there and save up money to continue their travels (which is how some permanently ended up there! <spooky music playing in the background>), and they somehow chose to do so in one of the towns with the least opportunity and worst job market in America ! Now isn?t that a bit fishy? Of course, they will say that ?circumstances? seem to have timed it that way and brought it about like that. Uh huh, now where have we heard that before? The one that I hosted even tried to cross the border into Vancouver, Canada (which is a big city, so again it makes no sense why one would seek work in an economically repressed small town rather than a big city, which is eerie) but was rejected by the customs officials, who cited him as having too little cash to insure himself from becoming a homeless vagabond in their country. So he was forced to turn around, back to you know where. Creepy isn?t it?

And to top it off, my Finnish friend got offered a rent-free room here to stay in for a few months, which is amazing and lucky, while he seeks work. Though he may consider that to be a great blessing and helping hand from above, the way things go in this eerie Bellingham , who knows. It could in fact, be the beginning of the Bellingham curse?s stranglehold on his life as well! God only knows how long they will be forced to remain in Bellingham , the eternal black hole.

Later on, I met the other Finnish backpacker, and he too told me that after 2 weeks in Bellingham , he can understand how I feel about it. He also described it as ?dead? and that rather than a town, it was more like a ?burial ground?. And he advised that I leave the town or else my ?life will die?. So you see, I?m not alone in my views, despite the opinion of the majority of Bellinghaminions.

So like I said, the Bellingham curse is like a bad but real life horror movie.

(Update: At the end of December 2005, they finally left Bellingham and headed to South America . I guess they got away. Hurray! More power to them!)

Explanations for the alleged curse



I would describe this phenomenon as a ?force?, ?energy? or ?disease? that possesses people there and makes them stay for no logical reason, or that sucks their energy or life force to the point where they have neither the will, motivation, or desire to leave, even if their life is totally stagnated there. Either way, there is something unnatural about it.

I am immune to the strange affliction of so many who want to stay here perpetually, that I often feel that I am in the Twilight Zone or the only uninhabited human in the old sci fi horror flick Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Whatever the case, Bellinghammers, Washingtonians, and Northwest people in general are definitely the people on earth I least have a ?kindred spirit? with. They are like from a different dimension or planet, devoid of passion, intensity, or extremes. In social situations with them, I feel totally awkward and unnatural, not resonating with anyone.

Various theories have been presented to try to explain this ?curse? in Bellingham . Some say that a tragic accident over a century ago in which Chinese workers were killed in mining caves, left disembodied spirits roaming around the town who inhabit its residents and compel them to stay. Another theory is that the Chinese coal workers were murdered by local white settlers, and that just before they died, they put a curse on Bellingham , condemning it with bad karma. However, the latter theory doesn?t seem to make sense since murder victims have no motivation to create a curse to make people stay there forever; wouldn?t they prefer the area to repel people from the area instead? But nevertheless, there could be more to it, such as the curse being an indirect effect of the victims? condemnation?

In any case, here is how one Bellingham resident described the Chinese coal workers story to me:

?So..... I didn't read your whole page, but thought it interesting since I was raised in Bellingham, went away for school, was not planning on coming back, then was planning on staying for 1 year, and now I've been here for 1.5 years and have wanted to leave the whole time.



Have you heard about the ancient curse on Bellingham . I have heard a few people over the years mention this ancient curse on Bellingham . Do with it what you want.......



Goes something like this:



A long time ago when the first out of area "settlers" came to the land that would later be called 'Bellingham' by ship, the land was so dense with trees that people had to cut trees down to land. It seemed a place of much opportunity and a huge abundance of natural resources. Logging, fishing, hunting, and mining. What more could you ask for? The word got around and Bellingham began to grow. It became slightly more diverse. As the story goes, a group of people from China sailed to Bellingham to escape the imperialism of chinese dynasties. They were not met by friendly open minded people and did not get along well with them. Bellingham people were as you describe them.... anti-social, isolated, and uptight. Nevertheless, the scenery was beautiful and the sky was the limit. This group from China made good use of the land and worked in a mine in the lowlands of what is now Whatcom County for settlers who had landed before them.



Life was well enough.......



Until one day they went to work like they did everyday and the mine collapsed behind them. 15-20 Chinese workers were trapped. There was no instant worries since no one was injured and there was plenty of machinery near the mine to remove the rubble in their way. Much time went by and conditions worsened. They began to fear for their lives. Why would no one save them?



After what they thought to be about 3 days they had given up and knew that they would perish in the pitch black cold, damp, humid cave. It was dark and no one had spoken a word for 24 hours. They were miserable, anti-social, lonely, and depressed because they were going to die. On this 3rd day one of people gathered the group together to say some last things. All felt betrayed by the people of ' Bellingham .' They knew that they could have been saved and these miserable fucks had decided not to for economic reasons. The mine had not been producing. Together these 15-20 Chinese people placed a curse in their last hours of life. The set a curse that apparently still lives on today. Through the powers of their ancestors and their gods they wished that none of these people in Bellingham would ever leave and would sit in this damp, humid, unfriendly place. That they could not leave and neither would their children as well as their children and so forth. Even if they did leave they would find themselves sucked back into this miserable place. The rain and clouds would drive the depression and no one would ever try to leave again. Their children would be so depressed that they would just sit around and think....'what's wrong with me'? While never mustering up enough energy to do anything about it. To live miserably like this Chinese group died.....When they didn't have to...........



So here we are. The children of parents whose parents parents parents let these people die because it was not financially smart to save them. Stuck in this town wondering why we can't leave. It's not our choice it's the wish of people long before us who have more reason for us to stay than for us to go............... ?

And another girl related a similar version in a nutshell:

?I wanted to write to talk about the curse because other than my long lost friend Beth who

told me about it I have never met another person who's heard of it. The story I got was that the imported Chinese laborers (who weren't allowed to cross the line of demarcation into Fairhaven unless to go the mines) were striking for various reasons and (this is where it gets fuzzy) so scab workers were brought in and the original group were all mysteriously trapped in a mine when it collapsed and no one dug them out and so, they put a curse on Bellingham that no one would be able to truly leave the place until they had accomplished what they came for. The catch is that no body really knows what they came for and those of us who came for college, graduate and then dont leave have no explanation... we just.... stay. I tried leaving at least 4 times and every time it didnt work out and so I went back. Its strange, really truly strange and I support you in your impending escape, if and when it comes.?

Another theory is that the ancient Native Americans who lived in the region used the area that Bellingham is situated on as their sacred burial area. So the settling of it caused a curse to be brought upon its inhabitants.

Others have a more down-to-earth explanation, which is that people simply love the area and want to stay.

You might think the last explanation is the most sensible. However, there are several problems with it, for it doesn?t account for certain things. First, as already mentioned, some who have left and returned to Bellingham , do so against their will and therefore do not fit the ?I simply love it? explanation. And it includes those who hate it. I?ve personally met such folks, which includes me too. Second, Bellingham is deficient in many areas, and has nothing to offer, at least not that you couldn?t get anywhere else. It has virtually NO opportunity or social scene/life, which will be elaborated on later. Therefore, there is no logical reason to ?to love it?, especially not to give up your precious life for. After all, how can one ?love? a town that is devoid of EVERYTHING - social life, culture, fun, jobs, dating scene, etc!? Just WHY do people stay in such a place devoid of everything and claim that they love it? It totally beats me.

Though many claim they love Bellingham, it?s possible they are just saying that due to the ?Emperor?s New Clothes? phenomenon, where no one admits to the truth out of fear of others thinking that there?s something wrong with them. People don?t even look happy in Bellingham , but rather repressed and numb. Also, understandably, if people hate where they live, they don?t usually admit it until after they?ve left; then they feel free to express their true feelings without the risk of offending others or causing a conflict. For example, Californians who move out of California often talk about how fake, shallow, and plastic the people and culture were in California , something they dare not say out in the open until they?ve left.

The thing is, if one merely loves the foresty alpine environment of Bellingham , there are many areas of the world with the same foresty alpine environment and terrain, yet with much better opportunity and social life. I can think of many both in the US and Europe . So it makes no sense to choose Bellingham over other similar-looking places that are better.

In fact, many who stay there have no careers or personal/social/love lives, yet they still stay and never leave for some reason, though they have nothing going for them. It makes no sense and makes this alleged curse so odd and suspicious.

Thus, I fail to see what those who love Bellingham see exactly. It?s as mysterious to me as like when you take the most boring and pointless movie you ever saw, and later find out that most movie critics loved it and raved about it, leaving you scratching your head in wonder. Then you find out that these critics see so many wonderful subtleties in the movie that its makers probably never even intended, as if the critics are merely seeing what they wanna see, perhaps in themselves. Speaking of movies, if you?ve ever seen the 2004 flick Lost in Translation, (which critics loved but I found boring and pointless) you might remember the bored dragging expression on Bill Murray and Charlotte?s face throughout the whole movie. Well that?s exactly how I feel everyday in Bellingham .

Therefore, though I cannot rightly say that there must be a supernatural or paranormal cause to this curse, nevertheless the ?they love it? explanation seems insufficient as well, so I would at least consider it to be ?unexplained?. And this is especially so when there is nothing to love about it and so much to hate about it, as described in the next few sections.

Bellingham ?s major deficiencies

Stagnation of mind and soul in a dead lifeless environment/vibe

The first day I arrived in Bellingham back in 1998, I IMMEDIATELY felt DISLOCATED. It was insular, empty, dull, and gloomy. Its cold, damp, dead, lifeless, stagnating climate numbs and wilts the body, mind and soul. I constantly felt tired, groggy and depressed. And there was nothing to expand my mind or soul, but in fact impedes its growth and evolution.

There?s no energy or synergy between me and its environment, people, vibe, etc. Its vibe is on a polarity that conflicts with mine, draining me and making me feel the conflict between who I am, the very essence of my life force, and what Bellingham is (whatever it is). Hence, meaningful synchronicities and coincidences don?t happen for me, as my wavelength and its wavelength are not in tune. Nothing good or bad happens to me there; time just passes and life is wasted. There is no energy there which allows me to grow, expand, or mature.

In Bellingham , I feel weak, insecure, and somehow naked of my confidence, like how Superman feels near Kryptonite. Bellingham , and Washington state in general are to me what Kryptonite is to Superman. I don?t know why, perhaps my strength and confidence are a mismatch there? Even when I am with others, most of the time I still feel lonely and estranged for some reason. Thus, the DEFAULT conditional state for me there is one of isolation, estrangement and loneliness. So it feels like a constant uphill struggle to overcome the feeling of alienation, isolation, or loneliness.

In Bellingham , the natural growth and evolution of my mind, aura, soul and persona are completely FROZEN, HALTED and rendered INERT! Time just drags on and on without any purpose. The area is devoid of any energy, personality, passion, etc.

Even just a week in Russia/Europe matures, evolves and enriches me more than ten years in a place like Bellingham . Every time I?m in Bellingham , I have no love life, no social life, no opportunity, nothing. So I don?t understand why a place like this exists.

Bellingham people tend to have a tunnel vision mentality and think inside their little bubble. You can feel it strongly in the vibe of the town, which to me feels negative and repressed. Hence, even though I am outgoing and like to go out, I don't in Bellingham cause its negative repressed energy and feel doesn't bring out that part of me.

One of my best friends, who used to live in Bellingham , told me that on the freeway when she approached the town, as soon as she passed the ? Samish Way ? exit she could immediately feel the negative vibe and energy of the town.

Not just Bellingham , but in the Northwest in general, I feel like the climate is poison to my body, and the social environment vibe is poison to my soul.

Dominant isolation mentality the norm in Washington

Without a doubt, everywhere you go in Washington state, not just in Bellingham , there is this dominant isolation mentality that is the norm. In fact, even the Seattle Times even ran an article on it when they did a story about the "Seattle Freeze", which corroborates my claims and experiences:

http://seattletimes.nwsource .com/pacificnw/2005/0213/cover .html

There is this boundary and social contract that you don't talk to strangers or try to meet people. Instead, you are expected by the collective unspoken law to mind your own business, leave everyone alone, keep to yourself, and remain reclusive. You can feel this social contract all around in the air, vibe, and aura of people everywhere in Washington . Ick! It's very odd and unusual, since the rest of the world is not like that at all. It's like you are supposed to love loneliness to fit into Washington state. And if you don't then you are a freak. So for a social person who thrives on meeting others, Washington state is like the ultimate Murphy's Law. It's like an anti-matter universe where all the normal laws are reversed, a sort of "Twilight Zone".

But for Washingtonians, they act like this is the norm. Thank God I'm not one of them. Anyone who talks to strangers or tries to meet people is considered a freak, psycho, or creep because he/she is violating the social boundaries of the isolationism mentality and culture of the bizarre state. All this makes me yearn to get back into the real world.

Even this pleasant looking fellow in Seattle noticed this. He writes on a CouchSurfing Group forum:

http://www.couchsurfing.com/group_read.html?gid=345&post=55916

?Re: Visual proof of anti-social WA public I shot on ferry ride vs. opposite in Europe

2006-5- 9 6:55 pm

Yes, unfortunately, you are right. The greater populous of Washington State in and around the greater Puget Sound can definitively be described as social isolating. I live here and am also aware of it.



Within minutes, literally, of my visits to Seattle total strangers have approached me and said, "You're not from around here, are you." - they speak it as a statment, not a question. And it is in response to my "non-isolationistic" behaviours, which in some cultures are simply called "friendly".



You are right, in my experience, that people are drowning in isolation here - but most of them will accept a "friendly hand forward" for those brave enough to do it - in fact, the people I meet, intentionally this way, are GLADDENNED when someone, ANYONE, is willing to acknowledge that they exist, and strike up a conversation with them.



Washington will never be Europe - however, we do have the power to break through people's isolationism, and many are eager for that to happen.



HANK?

Even at parties and social events, where it is more socially acceptable to interact with strangers, while people converse there is still this distant tone and posture in their voice, as well as an overly plastic polite manner, as though the unnatural boundaries between people still apply. It's as though you aren't allowed to really connect with others or get close to them, only humor them with distant communication and over-politeness. Weird weird weird.

In fact, this might be extreme, but I get this feeling that Washingtonians, if they had their way, would erase the rest of the world to make Washington all that exists in the world. Ick! These people are sick creatures to me.

Bellingham is one of those towns in the US that likes to pay LIP SERVICE to being friendly, but doesn't show it in action/reality. Its residents, like most towns of Washington, lies and tells the rest of the world that its inhabitants are "friendly", but in fact, the people are generally snobby, exclusive, anti-social, love isolation/being left alone, don't invite you places, and think you're a creep if you talk to them. So much for their lies and lip service. As we all know, actions speak louder than words, and this is one big hypocrisy on their part.

Or maybe Northwesterners just live in a different world and are their own species?

I've never felt any comfort zone interacting with Bellinghammers and Washingtonians in general. But in fact, me being near them feels like two magnets that repel each other. Even when I am just doing a simple transaction with a store/supermarket clerk, or post office clerk, it feels awkward and I sense an energy that repels us from each other. I just don't fit into Washington at all, period, and I am baffled as to why God/the universe put me there for so many years. Some things just make no sense. (Such as why capitalists like to claim that Christianity supports their ideology when it clearly doesn't, as the Bible clearly condemns greed as sinful/leading to destruction while capitalism teaches that greed is good and leads to progress/a better life)

The most anti-social closed people in the world

Bellingham is 100 percent ANTI-SOCIAL and 100 percent BORING. Literally. There?s no reason to go out there, since no one wants to meet you, and people are extremely reclusive, unnaturally so. (Yuck!) Thus, I am forced to stay home mostly. And that?s unacceptable and pure suffocation to someone like me who is action-oriented, fun-oriented, and hot babe-oriented.

Contrast that to what I have in other countries, like the Philippines, where I ALWAYS have ACTION going on ALL THE TIME everyday, where I?m never bored, and where I have SO MANY hot girls to choose from who constantly want to meet me, be with me, have fun with me, be wild with me, etc. that I don?t have time for them all!

The thing I hate about Bellingham is that it strongly feels ILLEGAL and inappropriate to talk to strangers. I know it's not my imagination because out in public, people don't talk to strangers unless it's business-related. You can see it anywhere you go there.

It is obvious that it is socially unacceptable to talk to strangers in public, unless you need directions or have an innocent question about something. Anything else is seen as a violation of the boundaries, especially with women.

As a world traveler who?s traveled in a dozen countries, lived in 4 US states, and met thousands of people (literally), I can say that Bellingham and Washington people are the MOST closed, cliquish, anti-social, and dull folks I?ve ever met. To me, it literally has the WORST social and dating scene in the universe. Nowhere on Earth are people so uptight and anti-social as in this area. I am wild and intense, while Whatcom County folks are reserved and Puritanical. It's a total mismatch and misfit. Thus, I constantly feel suffocated.

You can easily test this by approaching any woman in public that you are attracted to. Just say "excuse me" and she will automatically put up a "force field" toward strangers that says "you are only allowed to talk to me if you need directions or have an innocent question". Few guys have the guts to do this though, not because they are cowards, but because they know that it's socially unacceptable and inappropriate to meet girls this way (though Hollywood sitcoms don't acknowledge this reality).

Instead, you are only allowed to meet people by introduction through friends, or participation of an organizational activity that allows interaction to take place between its members. That's how people meet in America .

Other socially acceptable places are bars, nightclubs, and parties. But even in those places, people are still reluctant and uncomfortable talking to new people, and you can feel it by the inhibition they show when interacting with them, as well as the "boundaries" they put up.

I?ve never had such a hard time anywhere meeting quality interesting sociable people as I do in Bellingham . It?s hard to find anyone normal who is not reclusive and isolating. The town?s vibe, atmosphere, and aura are dead too, deader than a cemetery even. People are extremely reclusive, closed, cliquish, don?t like talking to strangers, and have a hermit mentality. They humor others, even those they?ve known a long time, in social situations with fake contrived greetings and conversations. They are locked in their cliques and routines, keep to themselves, and don?t like to meet new people or expand themselves. How boring.

One married mom in Ferndale , the town just north of Bellingham , even wrote to me:

?Yeah, I hear that. Can't tell you how many times I go through this crap on a daily basis here in Fernhell.



I'm originally from California and living here has completely changed me. I have ONE real friend here who is from Nevada . The mothers at my kid's school are complete jerks, if you try to strike up conversation with ANYONE anywhere they look at you like you're an alien.



I'm sick of this shithole. And even more pissed at my husband for bringing us here. It would explain why he's not so outgoing, for sure (he grew up here).



Don't get me wrong, I know I shouldn't be harping on B'ham, it's a beautiful place. I love how outdoors it is, and how there is SO much you can do during the summer...but the people here leave a lot more to be desired, you know?



And god forbid you have a differing opinion on bellingham ...?

When asked why she agreed to come here, she replied:

?I've had no choice. My husband is native to here and moved us up here, so I have had to try to make friends in an area full of isolationists. Being from California , I am/was an outgoing person, never had any trouble making friends. People there are not at all like people up here.?

The women of the area are extremely unapproachable, stuck up, hung up against talking to strangers and assume that every guy who tries to meet them must be a creep or pervert. It?s so bad that you can?t even ask a girl out to coffee without feeling like a creep or pervert. So a guy who has desires can't do anything to pursue them, fulfill them, or express them.

This is all very apparent, unless you?ve never stepped outside Bellingham in your life or you are a closed reclusive uptight person yourself (after all, those of the same kind do not see abnormality in each other).

It gets to the point where I don?t even like to go out in Bellingham , though I usually love going out. Yes there are clubs and activities to join in Bellingham , but the vibe doesn?t make me feel like going out. It doesn?t bring the outgoingness in me. After all, what?s the point of going out in a town where no one talks to strangers, and girls are unapproachable? All that results is going home disappointed everyday. What a pathetic waste.

In Washington, I often feel like I am in that episode of the classic Twilight Zone "Eye of the Beholder" where we see a disfigured lady removes her head bandages to reveal that she looks perfectly normal while everyone else in the hospital look like monsters, who in turn see her as a monster. Or like the sole person uninfested by aliens in Invasion of the Body Snatchers (which in this case the sole person uninfected by the anti-social disease of Bellingham ).

Yet what?s odd is that most people there do not think others there are anti-social, but quite friendly. I?ve never understood why until recently, when I realized that if you are closed and cliquish yourself, then you will not see anything wrong with others who are that way too. That seems like a sensible explanation. (After all, anti-social reclusive people don?t mind that others are that way, just like sharks don?t mind if other sharks kill people, lions don?t mind if other lions kill their prey, bacteria don?t mind if other bacteria spreads, etc.) It would also be reasonable to assume that those that feel as I do, whose vibe also conflicts with the polarity of Bellingham , probably either converted or left, hence the few left who are alienated like me.

What I?ve noticed though, is that it?s not only with Bellingham , but Northwest folks in general seem to be a different breed than the rest of the world. There is something about them that makes them seem transparent, like they aren?t even there. It?s hard to explain. They just seem to lack any energy or qualities that most humans have. A few others I talked to have noticed this too, but most Northwesterners probably don?t cause after all, transparent people aren?t going to notice anything wrong with other transparent people.

An acquaintance of mine from Nevada once told me though that ?wetland? people are different from ?dry land? people, and that I?m probably a ?dry land? person. That certainly seems to be true as I often feel that Northwest people have an alien soul to me. They don?t relate to me and I don?t relate to them. I don?t see what they see, and they don?t see what I see.

For most Bellinghaminions, a weird lot to me, ?friendliness? merely means smiling and waving hi to strangers and then ignoring them after that. Those are some pretty damn low standards, if you ask me. To me, being ?friendly? isn?t merely being polite, but being sociable in ways such as enjoying meeting new people, inviting them out to parties, places, events, etc. arranging to meet, exchanging contact info, spending time together, etc. not just walking by saying a quick fake contrived ?hi? then walking on and never seeing the person again! Sheesh.

In fact, Bellingham ?s energy-sucking environment makes me not even feeling like being social. And with such closed cliquish people all around me that I don?t click with at all, why even bother to try being sociable? The atmosphere there totally discourages it, sapping all my natural motivation, blocking the best in me from ever coming out. Whenever I try to meet people, it feels awkward and inappropriate (especially with girls), as I?m violating some unofficial but very real rule against interacting with strangers. Overwhelmingly, it seems that you are only allowed to talk to a stranger if you need directions, need help finding something from a staff in the store, or have a practical situation that needs help with. Otherwise, it feels totally ?out of bounds? which is awkward because 95 percent of the world is NOT like that at all, yet most Bellinghammers in their own little isolated insular box would never know or care about that.

Unlike most of the world, it seems that in areas like Bellingham (and much of the USA), meeting people is strictly limited to organized social gatherings ? parties, churches, school, work, group friend outings, etc. (unlike most of the world?s social scene which isn?t as limited). But even then, people in those situations tend to be overly proper, distant, and communication is contrived and artificial. I don?t usually do well in such scenes, as the girls all tell me about their boyfriends/husbands, or that they are too busy to see me on any type of personal level. In school or work situations, people just come, do their thing, and leave. So social scenes in the US are usually dead-end for me. And besides, trying to connect with people who live in a tight box and have no inner life is awkward, as if I have to lower myself to be on their level and fit their flow.

Even those who seem talkative and outgoing do so on a ?different wavelength? than those of the ?normal world? (95 percent of it that is); the way they talk and express themselves seem very contrived, insincere and fake, so that truly outgoing people like me do not feel like being outgoing ?their way?.

The only way I can fathom someone thinking that Bellingham has a good social scene is if they have never been anywhere else in their life. Otherwise, those accustomed to the social scene in Italy , Spain , Mexico , Latin America , Russia , Ukraine , etc. then they will find the social scene in Bellingham to be Hades by their standards. Suffice to say, this may surprise you, but I have heard of people living in the remote woods in cabins along the path toward Mt. Baker, east of Bellingham, who are in their 30?s and have never once left Whatcom County even once in their life! (Perhaps ignorance is bliss?)

Though being closed to strangers and cliquish is prevalent in much of America , it is at its worst in Bellingham , in my experience. In general, as in most of the world, people in northern cold climate areas tend to be more reserved and quiet, while those in the southern warmer climates tend to be more open, sociable, outgoing, lively, expressive, etc. However, those in northern Europe (e.g. Sweden , Finland , Norway , etc.) are merely reserved in their nature, for once they get to know you, they are very talkative and social. And in addition, they have a rich inner life to balance their outer life, something most American young folks, especially in Bellingham , are devoid of. But in Bellingham , people aren?t just reserved, but have this negative anti-social energy about them as well, which makes me feel ?icky?. Even when I get to know people, I still don?t feel close to them, but like an acquaintance that merely humors each other once in a while. Hence, the everlasting perpetual loneliness of Bellingham and Washington state.

In Bellingham , even the immigrant populations are closed, cliquish, and uptight whereas the people in their home countries are the exact opposite. Take the Ukrainian/Russian Pentecostals or the Dutch in Lynden (a small town north of Bellingham ) for example. Russians are among the friendliest, liveliest, most relaxed and sociable people to strangers in the world. Yet the ones in Bellingham are 100 percent different than in Russia , except for the language. They are not free-spirited, lively, sociable, and don?t invite me out like they do in Russia . And it?s not just cause I?m not a novelty to them in Bellingham either, cause many Russians in Russia who have traveled to the USA many times, whom I am not a novelty to, invite me out and are interested in spending time with me. (And plus keep in mind that the behavior of Americans, especially Bellinghaminions, are NOT the default standard by which the world?s peoples must be like, so just because a woman is not stuck up and unapproachable like in the US, does NOT mean that she must have ulterior motives; no way. People can be different geographically without having ulterior motives.) Likewise, I?ve met many Dutch people around the world, and none of them are as stuck up, closed, and uptight in their own world like the religious reclusive small Dutch community in Lynden. It seems as though immigrants come to Whatcom County so they can be closed and uptight. Go figure. Not my lot at all.

It seems as though the anti-social disease of Bellingham has one benefit. It seems to cure its residents of loneliness and the need for human companionship (except for me of course). Virtually no one else there complains about loneliness or the anti-social people and vibe here, which is odd since companionship and love are supposed basic human needs. Hence, again Bellingham defies explanation. (Or perhaps these are sadistic people who love being lonely?) In fact, many seem to like being alone and not bothered. But that?s the norm in Bellingham , you don?t bother people and they don?t bother you. That?s ok if you don?t want a social life and want to be a hermit, but not if you?re a social person like me.

Since the anti-socialness and immunity to loneliness in the Northwest has always been a mystery to me, I asked around about it, and one of my foreign contacts who used to live here in the Northwest (not Bellingham ) offered this explanation:

?Well most people are content to remain within 50 miles of their birthplace so most people don't understand how outside of their "world" people function differently. I think the weather and local cliques are probably the cause. People just prefer to stay home because of the weather and don't go out as much, if they do its with people they are familiar with. Warmer area places usually always have friendlier people because everyone is out doing stuff and more people run into each other, plus nice weather makes people friendlier and in better moods to communicate with friends, or strangers.

I grew up in New England and we are not much friendlier then the north west , but a bit louder. However during the summer months people are friendlier and more talkative. If you were to visit the southern states where it is warmer you would notice a difference, you have heard of southern hospitality? Well its actually true, southern states are typically friendlier then northern states.

If you want to have a better social life and want to remain in the united states i suggest moving to any of the following states:

Southern California, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida,

Georgia, Hawaii, Puerto Rico (actually this would be a good location for a girl friend, the girls are more open and friendly, latin decent, and technically American Citizens)



If you ever travel to a tropical, desert or semi-desert type climate, people are more friendly,

Thats why so many people love the carribean, Mexico, central America, SE Asia, South America, Mediterranean area, Even Arabs are quite nice and polite even though our media portrays them as hating Americans, I never had a problem there if you don't act like an idiot and disrespect them.?

Now, don't get me wrong. I need privacy too, but not to the point where I am left with little or no social interaction.

Simply put, Washington doesn't provide as much social interaction as I need. Its people (other than progressive/eccentric/freespirit folks) generally prefer isolation/privacy/being left alone over social interaction, and being workaholics over having fun. I am the opposite of all that and don't fit in. I just don't understand why most there are like this. It's like they have become a different species than me and other freespirits.

In suburban apartment complexes, it sickens me to see how cold and non-existent neighbors are to each other. They rarely interact other than to say a quick polite artificial contrived "hi". What makes them like this, I wonder? Is it mere imaginary paranoia, a love of loneliness? Or are they just a different species from me and other freespirited folks, or what?

Visual proof of anti-social WA public on ferry ride vs. opposite in Europe



Here are some interesting real life photos I took to illustrate my point about the anti-social isolated reclusive Washingtonian public.



While I was on a ferry ride between Seattle and Bremerton , I took these pictures of passengers inside the ferry. As you can see, it's an obvious example of how reclusive people are in public (well at least in the Northwest). No one talks to strangers, and the passengers ignore everyone around them as though they didn't exist. Instead, they prefer loneliness and isolation, which depresses people like me who thrive on lively inclusive environments. Though the scenery outside was nice, inside the atmosphere was gloomy and anti-social. So lively and festive isn't it?

http://blog.happierabroad.com/2008/01/ferry-photos-seattle-vs-riga-latvia.html

At the link above, contrast those with the photos below them, that I took during a ferry ride in Riga , Latvia (in Eastern Europe ). Even though the ride was in the late afternoon, people still knew how to party and dance. You will see a mini-disco lounge on board the ferry being enjoyed by the passengers even on this short routine ride! See what I mean?!

* Interactive experiment you can do to verify my claims

In fact, if you want to try an experiment right now that will prove my claims, go to the Bellingham internet community message board at www.barstop.com (click on ?chatterbox?). There, introduce yourself, say you are new in town, and need some help or people to show you around. You will find that people will give you info, but no one will offer to show you around. Many newbies have done just that there, and received no offers to be shown around. Since I?m immune to the anti-social disease of Bellingham of course, I?ve offered to show the newbies around, but they don?t take me up on my offer and contact me. Perhaps these newbies were already affected by the Bellingham anti-social disease already? I don?t know. I only know that Bellingham makes no sense at all. In addition, I?ve suggested on the Bellingham message board about ten times that we have an in person get together, and no one even bothered to respond to that idea. How weird. In most of the world, where people love meeting strangers, it would not be like that, I guarantee you. In Bellingham , meeting people seems to be ?out of bounds?.

Validation from The Seattle Times that I?m right

Finally, here is validation from Seattle ?s primary newspaper media that Seattle is very anti-social and noninclusive in its social scene and general vibe, with commentary from psychologists, sociologists, and university researchers. I was right all along! See the story below.

http://seattletimes.nwsource .com/pacificnw/2005/0213/cover .html

In Bellingham : going out alone = staying alone

In Bellingham , if you go out alone, you are almost guaranteed to be alone, unless you get really lucky. It's not the kind of place or society where you can go out by yourself and meet people "just because" to hang out with. That's why people in Bellingham are so adamant about having friends to go out with because deep down, they know that if they go out alone, they will stay alone. And they fear that being alone will bring a feeling of detachment and alienation, that leads to insecurity. That's just how it is here.



The social norms here dictate that people in public stay with the company they are with. These are the unspoken but real rules and customs of the social scene and public life in Bellingham . No one needs to mention it, because it's just how people normally are out in public and socially. It's a mutual understanding of the collective in Bellingham , one that we grow up with and assume is the norm. Though it's far different from how other countries are, (which do not have the inherent isolation mentality that Bellingham does) most Bellinghamminions don't know it, because the rest of the world is not part of "their world".



Anyone can go out in public and see that this is so - those that are out alone, stay alone (and strangely enough, they want to stay alone, especially if they're female), and those that are out with their friends/family, stay hanging around them. You can see this in any public place - cafes, restaurants, Starbucks, grocery stores, parks, bus stops, malls, and even bars and nightclubs. Attempting to violate this rule or change it is awkward and against the flow, making you feel like a lone ant trying to change the social rules of the whole ant colony.



In Bellingham , the bars are scant with few women and mostly men. But even if you go to a crowded nightclub in town where there are many hot college girls, where it is more socially acceptable to meet people (at least in concept), the girls there only want to talk to their friends, rather than meet any new people. And sadly, you can still feel the strong vibe that most of the girls there don't want to talk to you. So even there, if you go alone, you are likely to be alone. Either way, you lose. And if you try to break that hard "ice" by saying hi to girls there that you don't know to introduce yourself, you will feel guilty for violating "the boundaries" and, unless there is something really special about you, they will either look at you like you're a freak, ignore you, or say hi quickly and then leave. I've always said, North America is the only part of the world where you can be in a room or area full of gorgeous women who are all "unapproachable" (for various reasons). In other countries, that is virtually impossible. I can personally attest to this.



Anyone who tries to deny this collective social contract is either lying, deluded, or religiously against generalizing (the politically correct crowd) that they will always play devil's advocate to anyone who makes observations about people, no matter how true. It's just way too obvious, as obvious as the big obesity epidemic is in America . So much so that I would only need 5 - 10 minutes out in public to show someone all this in person. People out in public just don't approach people, so demonstrating that first hand would be way too easy. In fact, it's easier to demonstrate than shooting fish in a barrel. Surprisingly, even though I could prove all this in 5 minutes, there are still those out there who try to deny that this is true!



On the other hand, in most of the world, not just in Europe/Russia, one can easily go out alone without having to be alone. It is easy and natural to meet people, find company to hang out with, someone interesting to spend your time with, or even get a nice date with the opposite sex that same day or night, if you just chat them up sincerely. Or sometimes of course, they may chat you up as well. So in a sense, you don't even have to "break the ice" because there is no "ice" to begin with! You can see ample evidence of this, enough to convince anyone, in my Photojounals. And even if you remain alone, you still know deep down in your intuition, soul, and gut instinct that you don't have to be alone, because the vibe all around you in public is far more inclusive and warm, which is inherently exclusive in its nature, form, collective mentality and public behavior.

All this I can guarantee 100 percent beyond any doubt, and I give my word to it.

And even in nations which are somewhat cliquish, such as Britain , France , Germany or Japan , it is still easier to meet people when you go out alone (at least for those like me), comparatively speaking, than it is here.

* Results of internet mass mailing attempts

Also, regarding internet communication, here?s an interesting update. A few times recently, I sent form letters about myself to people in town with AOL profiles, founds based on keywording some common interests in the member directory. The thing is, back in 1998 when I did this here, SOME people responded and were helpful or friendly. Now though, virtually NO ONE in Bellingham responds to emails from strangers anymore. It appears that Bellinghaminions are more anti-social now than ever before. Some of my mass mailings were to hundreds of recipients, and I got ZERO responses. Occasionally, I get one short brief response from someone that was never wrote back again. Now how?s that for the wonderful social life of Bellingham that its supporters boast of?

In contrast, I tried the same thing for other states like Arizona and Nevada , and got a lot of wonderful interesting responses, from both sexes, of quality fascinating people I had common interests and passions with.

The most stuck up girls in the world - anti-social, anti-stranger, anti-flirtatious, non-inclusive

Bellingham has the most stuck up girls I?ve ever met in the world. They are less sociable and approachable than even in California or New York , areas notorious for stuck up uppity women. The young women of Whatcom County seem to live in a socially closed insular shell, and are very defensive toward strangers. Trying to meet girls there is a lose-lose situation for the most part - 1) They don't like talking to strangers, and 2) if you try to meet them anyway, they think you're a creep. Thus, it's a no-win situation most of the time.

EVERYWHERE in Bellingham that I meet girls ? bars, clubs, churches, libraries, coffee shops, streets, bus stops, etc. they turn out to be the same. They are strongly stuck up, anti-social, anti-stranger, paranoid, anti-flirtatious, etc. in high rigid levels. And they project this cold, asexual, sterile vibe at me personally. Ick. I can?t seem to find exceptions! It?s a town of extremes in the worst way, making it the ?Hades of social/dating life? for single men.

I've approached THOUSANDS of girls (literally), and when I greet them, they immediately put up this force field that says ?unless you need directions or have an innocent question?, you shouldn?t be talking to me ? those are the social boundaries. When I violate those boundaries, virtually all of them tell me they have a boyfriend/husband or that they don't talk to strangers. And they do so with a scaredy-cat defensive posture. Or they make lame ass small talk for a short while and leave, keeping a distant vibe in the process. Others give me their number and screen out my calls, never returning my messages (I now have over 50 numbers where this is the case). Or they give me a fake number. Extensive replication has proven this time and time again. In most of the world, almost no girls are ever stuck up like that, even if they look like models. What a difference.

It gets to the point where there's no point in going out in Bellingham anymore, because what's the point of wasting time, money, and gas going out in a town where girls are so stuck up and unapproachable? That's just the kind of shit social scene that this Bellingham offers.

In fact, I?d say I have a better chance of walking on water like Jesus, than of getting a date in Bellingham . But in Russia , I was able to get a date everyday if I wanted to. That?s a huge difference, and just one of countless examples I could give that debunks the ?people are the same everywhere? ignorant line of thought.

To see exactly what I mean, view any of my 9 Photojournals or my Photo Collage. They contain thousands of images that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt, that women in other parts of the world are much more comfortable, inclusive and unparanoid about meeting strangers and getting ?hit on? by guys, something vilified by the collective mentality of Washington state. Ick. You can also view videos of my flirtations abroad in my Foreign Female Encounters videos. In addition, The difference is greater than you can imagine.

Even if you have friends/acquaintances among Bellingham women that can introduce you to them, they still put up very strict and overly proper boundaries, making you feel like asking them out or flirting with them is ?crossing the line?. They have all the power and call all the shots, and you are not allowed to hit on them, flirt with them, or try to satisfy your desires around them, or else you are a creep, villain, or bad person. Those are the Bellingham social rules, which are unnatural and not to my advantage because if I?m not attractive by the culture standards here, then nothing will happen for me unless I try to make things happen, but in Bellingham I am not even allowed to try to make things happen. Hence, a lose-lose situation.

Everywhere you go in WA, 99 percent of the women walk around as if they don?t need anything or anybody. I don?t see how you are supposed to impress them, gain their interest, or even connect with them, as they have no use for you, and act as if they hold all the cards and call all the shots. And if you try to meet them or approach them, they think you?re a creep. What is a normal single romeo guy supposed to do? It?s a no-win situation.

For some reason, Washingtonian girls, like in much of America nowadays, are never lonely or need men or companionship. Perhaps Bellingham ?s anti-social hermit disease has cured them of the need for human companionship. Who knows.

They are a strange breed different from the rest of the world. In one sense, they are strong because they are independent, liberated (by their definition that is) from traditional feminine roles and qualities, and do not need a man to function or be happy. But in another way they are weak because they are uncomfortable talking to strangers, have a paranoid mentality, and get "creeped out" way too easily, sometimes over trivial things. And they are insecure about traveling alone or going alone to a movie, restaurant, or party. European and Russian women don't share such weaknesses, for example.

I have no idea why Bellingham women are like this, so cold and sterile, when 95 percent of the world?s women are not. So again, Bellingham is a very weird place (but not weird in a good way).

Perhaps my personality, attitude, approach and style is incompatible or badly mismatched with that of Bellingham women. As mentioned before, some things don?t mix, such as oil and water. After all, two people could be totally outgoing, expressive, and passionate, yet be so in different ways, having nothing in common. Put together, they can be like oil and water, rubbing each other in all the wrong ways, their natural styles badly mismatched, and unintentionally stepping on each other?s toes. That?s just how it is sometimes.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so let me give you some real life visual examples from out in the field that demonstrate and typify (the next best thing to being abroad in person or viewing my video footage) how girls in non-US environments look at total strangers, especially men who are ?hitting on them? (something which is vilified by many American women). Here are links to images of girls I randomly approached on the street (I did NOT know them beforehand I promise you) in Russia and Europe . They are photos and digital stills I made from my video footage, which I can attest are representative of how girls react in Russia/Europe when approached. Remember, these are NOT girls that I had any PRIOR acquaintance with. They are total strangers to me and I to them.

www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page61.htm

They say ?the eyes are the window to the soul? which is very true. As you can see in the images from their eyes, gaze, and expression, they have a relaxed, enthusiastic, curious look about them, even though I?m a total stranger flirting with them and trying to ?pick them up?.

At the link above are many more examples of girls in Europe/Russia that I just met or was newly acquainted with. Notice how unspoiled and modest they look in their gaze, not just toward me, but in their general aura. They are shy, sweet, relaxed, natural, modest, down-to-earth and WITHOUT the ?men are creeps? attitude instilled in them!

You see how unlike in the US (and especially in WA), they do not have a PARANOID look of FEAR, defensive posture, force field vibe, and the ?men are creeps? attitude toward strangers (something so apparent that I immediately notice it whenever I arrive in a US airport from Russia). Take a close look again at the images above, and see if you can spot any stranger-paranoia or fear in these women at all! And in addition, you can see a rich inner life and inner happiness in them that is at peace and ease, rather than the contrived fleeting feigned posture of America ?s young women. The difference is like fire and ice. And these examples are by no means exceptions either, but in fact very TYPICAL.

Now, contrast that with the photos of typical American girls at the link above. Notice how conceited, flighty, and empty they are in their eyes and gaze, as if all they live for was yelling at parties ?Whooooooo!?. Also note their contrived artificial smiles and spoiled souls.

Rather than getting offended by "pick up" attempts by guys like American women tend to do, foreign women are usually amused by them, and sometimes are flattered so much by it that it tickles their "funny bone". What a refreshing difference indeed.

I would even venture to say that perhaps the extreme paranoia of American women might be a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, where they actually draw and attract that which they fear most.

Even with so called ?friendly? girls in the US , the look they would give is of a contrived, artificial, polite but very distant smile. They have nowhere near the relaxed posture that the girls do in the links above have, as you can easily see. The total approachability of chicks in foreign countries makes one feel very comfortable in meeting them, rather than emasculated like how American chicks make one feel.

Such striking differences make me wonder why most in the US don?t know about them, but as one commentator of mine explained to me:

?Oh, yes, in the US women are sociopathic for the most part. US men also never travel and they think that women all over the world must be the same. It is called seeing the world through the prism of your culture. Plus many think the US is the world and inside of every ____ (put a nationality there) there is an American waiting to get out.?

Probably the only place in the world where flirting is a crime

Not just in Bellingham, but Washington state is the only place I've ever been to in the world where women freak when you flirt with them or hit on them, as if a crime were about to be committed on them. Even in California or New York , where the women tend to be snobby, they do not view flirting or "hitting on them" as a crime or violation; instead they know how to play the game and accept it as a normal part of life. Sheesh. But Washingtonian women seem to have the least social skills in the world, or at least in the country. Perhaps the isolationist mentality of the state contributes to this, as well as the overall paranoia of the people. Either way, it's the worst place in the world for a "player" or even a simple newcomer.

Washingtonian females harbor the most hatred and animosity toward pick up artists and pick up lines that I?ve ever seen. In the rest of the world, it is acceptable to TRY to flirt with them or hit on them. Even if they blow you off, it is PERMISSIBLE to try at least. But Washingtonian females vilify such attempts. And they will even call the police or security on guys who flirt or "hit on" them. In a sense, they are saying that it is illegal for men to have desires. What the @#$%?! That?s just weak.

It?s no wonder that in Washington , you rarely if ever see any guys approach women they don?t know. It?s just not allowed here, and not the norm. So guys, even the confident ones, are afraid to do so. They know that such behaviors are forbidden and are socially conditioned by the repressed Washington culture to fear repercussion.

* Interactive experiment you can do to verify my claims

Here?s another interactive experiment you can try. If you are in Bellingham , you can go to the shopping mall, Bellis Fair, or a crowded park like Boulevard Park . There, try to meet girls. In the mall, you will find that the only girls who will talk to you are the ones working there who are paid to help you find what you want to buy. The rest will ignore you in a stuck up manner, acting as though it were against the social rules to try to meet them. Even if you find girls sitting by themselves in the food court, they will tell you that they prefer to be alone, if you try to join them. How sadistically reclusive! Who likes to be alone while they eat?! In the park, when you greet them, they will put up a strong distant and defensive vibe toward you. They may humor you for a while, or talk to you if you have something in common, but they will cut the conversation short and make an excuse to withdraw and get back to their own business, which doesn?t include you. After a while, it becomes pointless to even try anymore.

Heck, if you?re not gutsy enough to talk to girls you don?t know (such is the ill effect of being raised in America ) then I would be glad to do it for you while you witness the results.

The only place there where it?s slightly a bit more socially acceptable to approach girls is in the bar/club scene. But there it?s still so cliquish that it will feel awkward and out of line to try to meet girls. Plus the men tend to way outnumber the women, leaving the few women there surrounded by many men vying for her attention. What am I supposed to do with that?!

The Western college campus is a conventional spot for meeting people. But even then, the vibe there doesn?t fit mine and doesn?t connect with my wavelength or allow me to thrive, so I?m hardly in a condition to be sociable since it doesn?t bring out the best in me.

2 constants in Bellingham - boredom and loneliness

Benjamin Franklin is credited with saying that there are only two constants in life, death and taxes. Likewise, I would say that in Bellingham , the only two constants that never change are BOREDOM and LONELINESS.

Since Bellingham women are all (nearly 100 percent, no joke) totally stuck up, anti-stranger, anti-social, anti-men, anti-flirt, etc. and make me feel like a creep, criminal or violator whenever I try to initiate contact with them, how can I not be bored and lonely here? It?s simply inevitable and inescapable. Everywhere here it's the same. I keep looking for exceptions rigorously but can?t find any! It's inescapable, and no one here seems to have any solution. It?s a dead end lose-lose situation.

It seems loneliness is the norm in Bellingham . You have to like loneliness to like Bellingham . And if I try to do anything about it, then I am seen as an inappropriate creep. That is one f***ed up situation alright.

?Social life holocaust? worse than horror fiction

Therefore, I'd say a place like this is worst than anything in fiction. At least in fiction, when the good guy is cornered by foes and obstacles, there is always a way around it all in the end. But in Bellingham , there is no way out of boredom and loneliness, no matter where I look or how hard I try, I am doomed to. Therefore, Bellingham is like a "social life holocaust" for me with no escape or remedy, worst than any horror story fiction.

$1000 offer to anyone who can prove me wrong

In fact, I would like to offer anyone $1000 who can prove my claims about Bellingham women wrong, by showing or demonstrating to me that in any public place, at least 10% of the girls are approachable, non-paranoid, and comfortable interacting with strangers for non-business related purposes. But first though, the challenger should watch some of my video footage of my meetings and flirtations with women in Europe and Russia , to get an idea of what I mean by ?non-paranoid true friendliness and approachability? of women, so they can get an idea of my standards of ?un-stuck up?. If you wish to accept this $1000 challenge, email me to negotiate the terms and conditions, at WWu777us@yahoo.com.

So far, no one who claims that Bellingham is friendly and has a good social life has been able to produce. When it comes time to demonstrate that they can approach women who are unparanoid and won?t put up a ?force field? that says it is inappropriate to talk to me unless you need directions or help, they chicken out, knowing full well that there are some real boundaries here regarding talking to strangers. Unlike some, I always put my money where my mouth is. However, I could easily meet this challenge in Russia , where the social environment in general is very open and inclusive, and people are very comfortable and unparanoid about talking to strangers.

No opportunity, repressed job market, deadbeats abound

Bellingham is definitely not for those who have ambition. It has no opportunity in virtually any area. Its unemployment rate is among the highest in Washington state. And its job market consists mostly of dead end low paying jobs in retail, manual labor, production line work, office work, etc. that go nowhere. As a consequence, most of the young workers in the town job hop for years, cause the jobs aren?t worth keeping (yet strangely enough, they stay and don?t leave, or leave and come back). Thus, most of these young job hoppers who stay here end up having lives that go nowhere, wasting years of their life, all for nothing. It?s a sad state of affairs, and you have to wonder how many of them are suffering silently inside.

As is apparent on the quiet streets of downtown Bellingham , many of these youngsters sit around doing drugs and pretending to be hippies, when they are merely deadbeat punks and bums with no culture or style in their dress or mannerisms, other than the low-class grunge style. To me, it seems many of them have somehow lost their will, passion, and personality, as though something were possessing them or has zapped them of their ?life force?. From my well-traveled vantage point, they seem different from normal human beings, having a different vibe and behavior that I don?t resonate with at all. That?s why in social gatherings, I often feel awkward and unnatural trying to fit in, trying to pretend that I?m as closed and dull as them to try to connect with them on their level, when there?s nothing to try to connect with anyway, degrading myself in the process, and feeling estranged, alienated and lonely in the end. After all, what would I have in common with grungy punks and bums? I would hate to have to lower myself to try to fit their flow, and try to be something I?m not.

According to one source, Bellingham seems to have a high suicide rate (not surprisingly):





"If I remember correctly, a young woman committed suicide recently - 2

weeks ago in Bellingham . I read about it in the papers. She purposely

drove the wrong way on the expressway to try and get herself killed. She

didn't kill anybody, but she did flip the car over or crash and killed

herself. Several months ago, she did the same thing and killed her

infant son.



It is interesting that if I do a google search of suicide and

Bellingham , ALOT of hiits get returned.

Pretty amazing for a city of only 67,000 people



My friend Katrina was pretty shaken up by it all.

The car crash happened in front of her."

Why many who hate Bellingham or Washington don?t admit it

Now, I would even venture to say that probably many here don?t really like it, even though they will publicly say they do. After all, people don?t exactly look alive and happy here, not just in Bellingham , but in the Northwest in general. So, either 1) they have never lived anywhere else so they have nothing to compare it to, or 2) deep down they feel miserable, repressed, and suffocated here, but are afraid to admit it in public because a) they do not wish to appear negative but positive instead, b) they are afraid that if they admit it, others will think there is something wrong with them, c) it will make them seem like losers if they don?t like where they live, d) they are afraid of offending others who like it here, and e) since humans are conformists by nature, they naturally try to fit in with the party line and are afraid to go against the crowd, (unlike me) regardless of how they feel deep down. Instead, they merely tolerate it.

So perhaps it?s a case of ?The Emperor?s New Clothes?, with many being afraid of admitting how they feel due to the fear of others thinking that there?s something wrong with them. Conformity reduces such fears, but at the same time, it can feel imprisoning too.

In addition, it's too easy to develop a "comfort zone" where you live, so it's often difficult to change your situation or location, even if you hate it. It's human nature to prefer inertia and inaction rather than to take risks to change an undesirable situation.

Of course, the lone dissident often faces an uphill battle all the way, even if he speaks the truth, as the ancient story of Socrates goes. And often, our plight seems futile, as a local boy wrote me:

"I've enjoyed your postings and have just posted one of my own. I think we might have a lot in common - especially, perhaps, our experiences in the former Soviet union. The mistake you make is however assuming you can get through to people who have only experienced one variety of life and who are entrenched in hippsterdom. See, the hipster has a scene. The scene dictates the ideology, and individuality is frowned upon.

???????????????..

It's amazing to me how old knowledge about the human race rings true. The individualist always goes against the group and is often right about important things where the group is usually wrong. This is how

it has always been, but I, like you, often make these attempts at getting through to others who have usually large social support networks that are too powerful to negate.

????????????????

There are lots of pretty girls here too but perhaps they aren't for people like you and I. They are into their careers, their small town lives, and don't ask for more. It's painful for me to know that I have nothing on that jackass frat boy at the next table, but I have learned to observe. Perhaps observation and irony can make life in Bellingham tolerable. Living in small towns in the states is, however, just as confining as small towns in the former Soviet Union . Confining in a different ideologically based way, but the hippy ideology is, as you say, just as delusional."

Is the problem me?

There are some who will try to claim that if most people in Bellingham do not feel as I do about it, then the problem must be me. It?s a typical reaction from those with a ?victim-blaming? mentality, who derive their self-worth foundation from identification with the majority. However, there are several problems with this.

1) If the problem was just with me, then I would have this problem everywhere. But I don?t, as I mentioned before. In Europe/Russia, women were always approachable to me, people who non-cliquish, open and sociable to me, and liked to invite me out and introduce me to others. I?ve even dated models and beauty queens, just by merely asking. For extensive proof, see www.happierabroad.com/Photojournals.htm , www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Collage.htm, and for more descriptive detail about it all, see my ebook www.happierabroad.com/ebook.htm

2) This ?victim-blaming? mentality is based on the fallacy that the majority is always right. History rarely records cases where the majority were right, and if anything, the majority rarely rules; it?s those in power who really rule and set the propaganda and social mores.

3) Even if one believes in the opinion of the majority, the question becomes what to do when the majority of different areas or regions don?t agree. For example, most people in France consider the US to be cultureless, bland, barbaric, primitive, and without style or taste. However, most in the US consider their country to be the land of opportunity and freedom, and to be the greatest country in the world. So who is right then, in such situations? In different regions, people are different and have different standards.

4) Not everything is meant to mix or fit together. For example, ketchup and milk mixed together tastes bad, but ketchup and fries mixed together, or milk and cereal put together, are good mixtures. Therefore, just because some things don?t mix well together doesn?t mean that one of them is ?the problem?. Only the intellectually lazy and ignorant like to point to one side as ?the problem?. Some things put together simply have bad chemistry or synergy, but with other things might have better chemistry or synergy.

Therefore, those with such ?victim-blaming? mantras do not take these into account and do not see the broader picture. And since I have been to 10 countries and know or met about 3000 people, I have a very broad range of reference to compare Bellingham and its people to, to make these claims.

How I came to be in Bellingham and why I kept returning to it

Now to answer the question you?ve probably been wondering: ?Why are you in Bellingham then? I don?t get it.? Well, to be honest, I don?t get it either. Here?s my story and situation.

I came to Bellingham in 1998 from California , with my ex-girlfriend who was from another part of the state. She was going to college there, and we were a new couple. As I didn?t have a girlfriend for almost two years before I met her, I didn?t want to not move there and break our relationship, which possibly meant waiting another few years to have a girlfriend again. I didn?t want the loneliness and deprivation of desires again, which to me is extreme suffering. So I reluctantly moved to Bellingham with her, a town I knew nothing about, only heard that it was pretty but with no much opportunity (but I had no idea back then how horrible it would be, wasting so many precious years of my life). Right on the first day, I immediately felt dislocated, and never felt at home there since.

After we broke up a few years later, my parents had retired and moved to Bellingham too (they were drawn and infested by the Bellingham disease or curse), so I had no place to go back to in California though I preferred to be there than in Bellingham.

When I was finally free to leave the town, I first went to Virginia City , Nevada , where I had a lot of fun and opportunity for 7-8 months. People there were much more friendly, open, and natural, and I had a hot girlfriend too. But eventually, things dried up for me, and a job opened up for me in Bellingham , so those circumstances brought me back. Hence, the ?curse of Bellingham ?, as described earlier, seemed to be at work in my life.

After that job ended, I began taking trips to Russia and Europe in search of love and opportunity. I spent a lot of time there, about half a year for a few years, and I was never bored, but my results were mostly short term for one reason or another. During each trip though, I eventually became depleted of resources or exhausted, which threw me back to Bellingham again to try to work dead end temp jobs to try to replenish my funds, boring me to death again in the process, putting me with the least compatible environment and people again.

So you see, I have left Bellingham a few times, during my trips and search for opportunity, but circumstances one way or another threw me back each time. Hence, the ?curse of Bellingham ? as mentioned before.

In addition to all this, as mentioned before, there is also something in Bellingham that sucks up my energy, motivation, and will to leave, as if a magnet is holding me there. It?s difficult to explain, and a bit bizarre, but very real nonetheless. It?s as if every will, desire, plan and intention I try to muster to leave Bellingham and get on with my life is somehow subdued or quelled by ?something?! It?s like though I may think I have free will here, I don?t. (Perhaps it has to do with something of another dimension connected to the Bellingham region? We can?t completely rule it out of course, as there is much we still don?t know about time, space, dimensions, and quantum physics) Hence given the oddity and absurdity of all this, I consider Bellingham to be a bad horror movie or a sort of ?Twilight Zone?.

The absurdity is that within a few months of arriving in Bellingham in 1998, I already knew that it was the wrong place for me, and I wanted out so I could be free to pursue my career aspirations again. Yet here I am back again. And believe me, coming back to Bellingham again and again, and hating it again and again, has been like beating a dead horse for 5-6 years, which is frustrating as hell as well as humiliating. It?s gotten to the point where my hatred of Bellingham has brought me to near insanity, and to where the mere sound of ? Bellingham ? or ? Whatcom County ? fills me with utter hatred and resentment beyond comprehension. I would even go on to say that after years of hatred buildup, I now hate Bellingham as much as the Jews hate the Nazis.

Bellingham , I would say, is the kind of place you can be stuck in and eventually die of boredom or hatred. It?s just that bad, to be honest.

But I won?t ever give up trying to leave Bellingham . I am very strong willed, and refuse to waste my life there, as there are so many other things I want to do with my life. I want to try to be an actor in Hollywood , and explore more of Europe , as well as other countries where women are easy to meet and get, not waste my life in Bellingham .

For my next attempt to leave Bellingham soon, I am planning to go to the Southwest USA , an area I love and resonate with, for a while to see how it works out. Whatever happens, I will never give up trying to be free of this ?curse of Bellingham ? which has leeched so much of my life. I refuse to let this unknown ?force?, ?phenomenon? or whatever it is, continue to control me, possess me, and make me stay. I am intent on taking control of my life and destiny again.

Conclusion

The simple bottom line is: Bellingham has NOTHING going for it ? social life, love life, dating field, opportunity, fun, etc. (at least if you have normal standards) Living there is simply a COMPLETE WASTE OF LIFE.

To sum it up, the reasons I don't like Bellingham are:



1) It has the worst social and dating scene I've ever seen or experienced.

2) There is a dominant isolation mentality. People don't talk to strangers unless its business related, and girls are unapproachable. Any violation of these boundaries and you are considered a freak or creep.

3) The Northwest climate and humidity make me feel icky and unhealthy.

4) The local job market is repressed, with nothing but dead end jobs to offer, and sometimes, it?s hard to even get that.

By the way, to anyone who thinks that I am a negative person, let me say that I am not. The reason my comments and attitude toward Bellingham and Washington state are so negative, is because I feel nothing but negative repressed vibes and energy from Bellingham and Washington . From the very first day I entered Bellingham , I sensed a repressed negative vibe there. Simply put, I give back and express what I receive or feel. If the area gave me positive vibes like Lithuania does, then my attitude and comments would be positive. It's that simple.

I realize that some might think that my claims about the ?curse? or ?force? of Bellingham to be the mere silly, superstitious mumbo jumbo of a whiner. However, one must keep an open mind without dismissing or discounting what doesn?t fit into our world view. I am not some fool who jumps to irrational conclusions. Consider how little we know about the nature of reality. Many credible people have experienced ESP, ghosts, UFO?s, Alien Abductions, Bigfoot, etc. and string theory in quantum physics has opened the doors for 11 or more dimensions to exist, all suggesting inexplicable possibilities that there may be more dimensions to reality than we ever though. After all, there are so many unexplained mysteries that our current understanding of the world can?t explain. An open-minded skeptic should take all this into consideration.

Perhaps this ?curse?, ?force?, ?jinx?, ?phenomenon?, whatever it is, is something of a nature that does not fit anything we can understand, something beyond our comprehension. It?s easy to dismiss it all, take the easy way out, and just simply say ?People stay in Bellingham because they love it.? But as I said, that does not explain many things, and there seems to be more to it than that.

Also, a chilling thought is that this ?curse? or ?power? that compels people to irrationally stay in Bellingham does so by making them think it is their own free will that is choosing to stay there. If it has the power to give people such an illusion that their own free will is at work, then this ?curse? or ?power? is invincible, for those people could never see anything wrong with it.

I know that to a scientific mind, I have not made a convincing case that there is something of a supernatural or paranormal nature to this alleged ?curse of Bellingham ?, and I don?t claim to either. The logical rational part of my mind knows this. Even if I presented many more examples similar to the ones above (which I could easily obtain), it would still not prove a paranormal element to all this. However, taken as a whole, I hope that everything presented so far might make you raise and eyebrow and think ?maybe?. Though I myself am reluctant to ascribe any supernatural or paranormal cause to the Bellingham curse, I would at least put it in the realm of ?The Unexplained.? (Don?t we love mysteries?)

I just know what I myself have experienced, which I am reporting honestly. And that is that when I have left Bellingham before, God or the universe has a way of opening and closing doors in such a sequence as to draw me back here, for whatever reason I don?t know. I know that this conflicts with our popular belief that we create our own destiny and are the masters of our fate, but of course, popular views are not always correct.

In spite of all that I?ve said, there are many in Bellingham who claim to be happy there, which I can never understand. I guess if you are a person with few needs, no ambitions, and no need for social stimulation and fun, reclusive and closed, perhaps Bellingham suits you. But not me. No way. Like they say, ?different strokes for different folks?. In my experience, I?ve noticed that those who are intense, ambitious or have extreme emotions, tend to dislike living in Bellingham, finding it suffocating, while those who are laid back and nonchalant are the ones that tend to have an affinity for it.

My departure from Bellingham has been years overdue, and hence a lot of baggage has built up inside me cause of it. I decided Bellingham wasn?t for me, feeling immediately dislocated on the first day, and wanted to leave after my first month there back in 1998. Yet here we are in 2005 and I?m wondering why I?m here again?! What the F@#$?! Can you imagine a 7 year buildup of frustration and anger? As you can see, it runs deeper than just merely hating a town. It?s about being imprisoned and stagnated in a town I don?t belong in for years, due to some weird curse or jinx and circumstances, wasting so much of my life. At times, the frustration of this situation drives me to near insanity and tears. I often feel like lamenting and releasing my anger by yelling out, designing a t-shirt that says ?I HATE BELLINGHAM ! GET ME THE F@#$ OUT OF HERE!? out in public for all to see, hoping to draw reactions, disgusted faces, or even fights without people, anything to relieve the boredom here. That?s how bad it is.

I should also say that much of what I have said here in this article applies to the whole of Washington state as well. Therefore I offer this warning to anyone considering moving to Washington . Though it?s obvious that Washington is a beautiful state from all the photos, brochures, videos, and postcards, like an airhead hot blonde, its beauty is only skin deep, so don?t be fooled. Washington is nice for a one or two week vacation, due to its breathtaking beauty. But once you live here, its ugliness soon becomes apparent, infesting your life, mind and soul. Its insularity, tunnel-vision thinking, repressed Puritanical mores, uptightness, and sterile coldness start to manifest and sink in.

So, unless you like solitude, require very little social interaction, and are basically content with what you have rather than seeking more in life, I?d advise against moving here. Or else, once you do, you may regret it, and circumstances or situations may tie you here, wasting years of your life, putting you in a prison that you wish you could escape from. And you will ask ?Why did I ever come here?!? The mysterious force known as the ?curse of Bellingham ? has its ways, believe me.

Suggestions and inspiration for leaving Bellingham

Though most in Bellingham do not share my view, there are a few who understand and relate to my inner turmoil. In fact, this one offers some advice too.

?Hi!

I am not sure WHEN you posted about Russia on Daves Cafe but I just read most of it now. I don't know if you are in Bellingham now or where but there's one thing that I really wanted to point out. I agree with EVERYTHING. It's a shock when you realize how other places flow socially. Then you realize, that's all it really takes to make yourself actually happy. HOWEVER, I'm in Portland now, after having lived abroad off and on for years ( Brazil and Mexico ), and in Chicago , California and also Ashland , Oregon , I've noticed that people from the Northwest generally have the BEST time abroad. Why? Because the Northwest vibe sucks.

Completely.

Comparing it to other parts of just the US ? ....Work place environment is more anal here, weather is shitty that makes people totally paranoid, there's sooo many clicks and crap like that....even when you are older. I know it's all over the US to some extent but I'm telling you, it's horrible here. I'm so pist I moved back here and wish to god I were in California or anywhere with a friendlier, higher energy going around. I LOVE people and am really social. You can put out and put out all that energy in the NW and get little or NONE of it back. My god, Yakima , Washington has more to offer in that department. How pathetic is THAT?

Anyway, if you are back in the states, get OUT of the northwest. Move to the Carolinas or even NYC! California , New Mexico , Arizona ...god, anywhere but up here.

My friends that come to visit me here are like "shit, it's amazing how depressed and sick everyone looks here....I'm so glad I don't live here anymore".

Yep, I'm movin on even though i have the best job ever here. A good job doesn't make up for a lame social scene and wasted energy. I'm only 30 and I am not ready to cave up in my apartment, smoke all day and PAINT. I'll do that when I'm 85.

Just some thoughts.

Kari---fellow ESL teacher?

For those completely happy in this town, nothing I?ve said here is relevant to them. But for others in Bellingham who are like me and feel the same way I do, I can only offer some suggestions. If you too are trapped in the drudgery of life in Bellingham , and feel you just can?t leave for some reason, then focus on the following.

1) View your life, goals, dreams, and plans for a larger perspective. Though something may be keeping you from leaving at the moment, viewing your life plans from a long-term perspective may help you to see clearer, beyond the influence of whatever is keeping you in Bellingham . Perhaps then, some sense will be shaken into you to take action.

2) If you remain in Bellingham despite being miserable there, become aware of this ?curse? or mysterious force that holds people there. By becoming aware of it, you are in a better position to combat it, rather than continue to let its influence control you day to day.

3) It may be that you ought not to even think about leaving Bellingham , for such thinking creates frustration which can lead to anger, which in turn can generate hate. And hate seems to feed this ?force? that compels people to stay in Bellingham , making it even stronger and giving more power to it. Instead, you might have to DO IT subtlely. Go and leave Bellingham without letting this ?force? plant doubt and fear in you against leaving Bellingham .

Remember that despite any practical obstacles that may be in your way, that ?where there?s a will, there?s a way?. Even if you don?t have a car or money, you can still leave Bellingham . Hitchhike if you have to (despite the negative connotation of hitchhiking in America , it is actually very safe and works well. I?ve known many with little money who do it and successfully travel the world for years, so it can be done, I promise you). Or look for someone on the internet (craig?s list perhaps, www.craigslist.com) for a rideshare, or travel companion. One way or another, YOU CAN DO IT! KNOW IT! The curse of Bellingham is conquerable with the power of the human spirit. Remember that. You simply must summon the deepest aspects within you. Persistence will pay off in the resistance, no matter how powerless you feel.

Suffice to say, even the crew on Gilligan?s Island eventually made it off the island at the end of the series. J (Although, I hate to say it, but they were better off than me cause they at least had the company of Ginger and Marianne J)

In conclusion, I?d like to close with an analogy from the movie Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. In this lighthearted flick, an unknown alien probe ship is sucking the Earth of all its energy, as well as all space ships that come within its proximity. In an emergency interstellar broadcast, the President of Starfleet Command warns, ?Avoid the planet Earth at all costs!? Likewise, I would like to send a similar SOS warning message out to all who intend on coming to Bellingham for whatever reason: ?Avoid the town of Bellingham at all costs!?