The first I heard of it was when the editor of Channel 4 News texted to ask if I could go on that night to talk about Jeremy Clarkson.

“What’s he done now?” I tapped back. When you consider what Clarkson might do, there is a brain-clogging Milky Way of possibilities. Played rugger with a hedgehog? Called Cretans cretins? Made hatchbacks have gay sex?

For a moment I thought he might have keeled over, because that is not beyond the bounds either. I looked online, he was still with us and there was the “fracas”.

As a follow-up to declaring war on Argentina, pushing a producer over the temperature of dinner is a bit of an anti-climax. But while the BBC can forgive enraging, sovereign