Tirek's dark powers come from a magical bag that contains, uh, "The Power of Darkness." This twisted power corrupts anything it touches.

Who Was He Constantly Losing To?

My Little Ponies.

Somewhere close to Tirek's Midnight Castle is a hidden magical land where all kind of mythical creatures live, named Ponyland. The little ponies, pegasus and unicorns make their home in a valley there called Paradise Estate. This is where these bonsai horses dance, sing and lick each other.

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

It is true that some of these ponies have some magical powers. But most of the ponies roaming around this place didn't seem to have any kind of power at all. They couldn't even talk like the magical ponies. How the fuck were they staying alive?

Anyway, as relayed in the cartoon, with the help of a little girl, highly complex choreography and a rainbow, these ponies managed to defeat a creature that seems to be the embodiment of the devil himself.

And now we've reached rock bottom of our insultingly incapable heroes. This is a pretty cruel trick society played on the little girls of the world who saw these cartoons and played with the toys.

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

While boys were taught that evil giant transforming robots could only be defeated with other giant transforming robots, girls were taught that evil could be defeated with the power of rainbows and flamboyant song and dance. Which one better prepared their audience for the real world? If you'd like to find out, go perform a choreographed song and dance number in the middle of the highway while a semi bares down on you. In your final moments of consciousness, imagine how much more terrifying this would all be if that semi was sentient.

Want to become your own evil-mastermind? Then check out 5 Deadly Sci-Fi Gadgets You Can Build At Home. And don't forget to pick out your very own wussy superhero who will defeat you at every turn by checking out 6 Real-Life Vigilantes Crazier Than Batman.

And stop by our Top Picks to find out who is always beating us (hint: there's no one, actually. We own the Internet, bitches).