Earlier this week when I told my brother to save the date for International Women’s Day on March 8th, he asked, “When is International Men’s Day?” with the sound of a grin in his voice. It is perhaps hard to believe, but there is an equivalent to the internationally-celebrated Women’s Day. International Men’s Day recently passed by on November 19th, and many of us didn’t even know. In 2011, the celebrated theme for International Men’s Day was ‘Giving Boys the Best Possible Start in Life’, and its main objectives focused on male healthcare, and celebrating their contributions to family, marriage and childcare, but above all, rejoiced manhood.

Although International Men’s Day is celebrated in 60 countries, for Pakistan it is still not a day of recognition let alone a topic of discussion on any forum, dialogue or network. Yesterday, Twitterverse was abuzz with people, mostly men, wanting to know if such a day for men even existed. Someone tweeted, “In the interest of fairness and equality shouldn’t there be an International Men’s Day as well?”

So what is International Men’s Day? Calls for an international day for men began in the 60s, with special focus on men and their contributions and concerns which deserve a day for recognition. Unfortunately, initiatives to celebrate this day publicly in large numbers did not kick off really well, and the idea fizzled out. It wasn’t then until the early 90s that interest in the event was revived, and organisations with a focus on men’s rights marked the day on November 19th, receiving better response than before. Over the years, several themes have emerged including peace in 2002, positive male role models in 2009, and children’s future in 2010. On the official International Men’s Day website, developing countries including Haiti, India, Trinidad and Tobago, Ghana and Malta are all listed as active participants – but Pakistan is nowhere to be seen.

Pakistan stands tall at the epicenter of issues related to men, and not just women. This is by no means a comparison between men’s and women’s rights and issues in Pakistan, but merely an attempt to acknowledge men and their problems in the country. In India, organisations including All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA) and All India Forgotten Women’s Association (AIFWA) have highlighted issues such as the physical and emotional health of men, issues men face as protectors and providers, problems men encounter during their old age when they cease to be protectors and providers and discrimination against men under law. According to The Save Indian Family Foundation, compared with women, nearly twice as many married men (up to 52,483) commit suicide after being “unable to withstand verbal, emotional, economic and physical abuse”.

Historically speaking, men in Pakistan are expected to perform according to the orthodox roles of bread earners, protectors, fathers, leaders, professionals, and heads-of-the-family, and masculinity is meant to bring privilege and status. Although gender relations and regulations are a bit relaxed in rural setups, where women are often seen taking care of land and livestock, Pakistan is marked as an overall patriarchal society. This is the country where women are considered as subordinates to men – and are the epitome of a man or family’s basic integrity and honour. “Sometimes women aren’t in solidarity here. It would be good if they realise that woman-to-woman support benefits everybody. And Pakistani men need to be educated that women should enter fields like engineering, chemistry and so on,” said Dr Marylin Wyatt, wife of the US Ambassador to Pakistan Cameron Munter, while speaking on a morning show yesterday.

In retrospect, gender rights are often measured as women’s rights here. But to say that men in Pakistan don’t face issues or feel discriminated against several of their rights, would be turning a blind eye to the ills of society. Some of the less discussed issues that men often address on their own are relevant to their reproductive rights, child custody, divorce, health and shorter life spans, domestic violence and allegations of rape and marriage.

In 2010, Pakistani cricketer Shoaib Malik’s marriage controversy attacked India-Pakistan relations, when he was alleged to have married Ayesha Siddiqua in 2002. Support from the Save Indian Family Foundation came as an unexpected surprise to Malik, when the organisation demanded withdrawal of the case against the Pakistani cricketer. The NGO stated, “How can someone force marriage on a man? If Shoaib and Ayesha were married, where are the pictures of the marriage? Moreover, whether Ayesha Siddiqui’s claims are false or true is up to a family court or civil court to decide and give a judgment. Where do the police come into picture? Is Shoaib posing a threat to anyone?”

In Pakistan, there is still hope. One such organisation working for men’s rights and well-being is Rights and Rights International, founded by Yousaf Jamal and the primary objective of this is to end gender discrimination in all its forms, for both men and women. Currently, the struggle of international donors, government and local organisations revolves around women and their basic protection against the ills present in modern-Pakistan. Yousaf Jamal’s work appears like the only registered and streamlined attempt at addressing men’s issues, but there is always room for more in Pakistan.

The writer is a Lahore-based journalist and can be reached at anumpashaa@gmail.com

The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.