Emotional Vulnerability Perspective of a Post-Mormon

What I Want This Blog to Be

Mormon & Vulnerable is an attempt to put words to my experience of emotional isolation while in the Mormon church.

Even though the LDS church is structured in a way that helps people feel great togetherness, it also makes some of its members feel emotionally isolated. Those affected by isolation feel that everyone else around them is more faithful, having more real encounters with the Holy Ghost than them, and so on. This leads to feelings of inadequacy and even stronger vigilance to obey and serve.

While in the church I would find myself constantly asking questions like, “Why am I ‘the only one‘ not feeling the spirit? Why am I ‘the only one‘ who thinks the temple was super weird? Why am I ‘the only one‘ who doesn’t have his life together/isn’t being righteous enough?”

These feelings of inadequacy are a lot of what drove me to be such a diligent and faithful member. I felt I needed to work extra hard to be on the same level as others. But then, one day I discovered emotional vulnerability and its ability to shine a light on others’ inner doubts and difficulties. For the first time, I started sharing these painful feelings of mine with others. To my surprise, I found similar people. My questions and worries suddenly appeared as a very common occurrence in the lives of other church members and all it took was my decision to be vulnerable enough to open up and share.

I realized I wasn’t the only one with problems.

Vulnerability is a vastly important yet largely neglected aspect of Mormon culture and it’s my desire to allow others to be aware of it. It was my encounter with emotional vulnerability that allowed me to see that I wasn’t alone. I came to a new understanding of the church’s operation and how it occasionally damages individuals as a result.

This blog is from the perspective of the individual. I am in no way trying to make over-generalizations of the LDS Church or state that I know the absolute truth on these things. I’m fully open to the idea that the perspectives of others are equally as valid as my own and I am hoping to learn from others of all beliefs.

I hope I can help other individuals as well as help my own quest for healing and growth. If you’re here, thanks for being curious. 😇

Check back every Sunday!