GLOBAL—Struggling to hold back their salivation, millions of fuccboiz went on adult video websites in search of lewd overwatch videos this Friday as SFM video makers and cosplayers started flooding the market with thicc™. “I’ve never seen anything like this. Usually people are only interested in phat booty but now people are hungry for the full package. Soon we’re going to see stuff like /r/skinnypeoplehate gain major traction,” said @thighchokeme as aroused teenagers around the world started to engage in awkward small talk with a previously neglected and abused demographic. “At first I was enthusiastically watching naughty D. Va videos but now I’m all about dat thicc. I want a girl who can drown me with her body.”

After promoting a body positive image for thick females everywhere, Blizzard told reporters it was working on releasing a DLC character named B.Turdner who’s skill set will be based around violating the rights of female characters in an attempt to put an end to perpetrator blaming.