My last name is Ho.



I feel like that’s all that really needs saying, because I’m sure everyone can extrapolate how much it sucked to go through a glaringly white high school with such a last name. However, my response to people being jerkasses is to plant my foundations into the center of the earth and laugh, so I’m proud of my last name and I’ve kept it after being married, when I could have hidden behind an Anglicized surname and never suffered anything worse than a look of surprise when a [English name] [German surname] turns out to have yellow skin instead of white.



But no, I’m keeping Ho. And it has been years since someone’s made fun of my last name without permission (because I do have a sense of humor about it; I wouldn’t survive my current setting without one). But it happened today, predictably on the Internet, and I am pissed. Because racists laughing at the 7th most common Chinese name just because it sounds like ‘whore’ or 'homosexual’ are being cruel. I’m angry because I just realized for the first time that my position as a feminist is going to be constantly belittled because I happen to have a last name that is conflated with an insult.



Not like it hasn’t happened before, mind you. But I’m glad that my mixed-white future children will not have to deal with this particular brand of bullshittery, because more than likely they will be taking my husband’s name. I will be telling them my story, however, so they and their friends know not to insult someone for their name and their heritage.