Wives tell husbands how to drive. That’s what they do. But what happens in a self-driving car? I found out last weekend. We were stuck in stop and go traffic. I was in the driver seat but my hands were off the wheel. The Tesla was driving itself.

“Watch out for the car in front of us!” my wife exclaimed.

We slowed and stopped a safe distance away, exactly as the car was programmed. Then a BMW passed us on the right shoulder and squeezed into the lane up ahead.

“What a jerk that guy is. Look out for that jerk!”

Our car reacted well.

Then a big SUV cut us off. Our car was aiming for the side door panel but glided to a stop with a safe amount of room to spare.

“That was close,” came another anxious cry.

My wife was critiquing my driving — and I wasn’t even driving.

Then the car chimed in with some friendly marital advice. “Put your hands on the wheel,” it flashed in a message on the dashboard.

I followed the car’s suggestion and held the wheel (lightly, without taking control away from the autopilot). A calm descended in the cabin. That’s when it clicked for me. The genius of the Tesla was it not only navigated roads it seemed to navigate relationships too.