(Ed. Note: As the Stanley Cup Playoffs continue, we’re bound to lose some friends along the journey. We’ve asked for these losers, gone but not forgotten, to be eulogized by the people who knew the teams best: The bloggers and fans who hated them the most. Here is Chris Link, semi-retired Nashville Predators blogger, fondly recalling the 2016-17 Chicago Blackhawks.)

(Again, this was not written by us. Also: This is a roast and you will be offended by it, so don’t take it so seriously.)

By Chris Link

It seems strange to pen a good-bye to the Chicago Blackhawks.

This is a team that has already died once before, accidentally adopting the Pittsburgh Penguins’ patented strategy of failing their way to success. Who knew that years of cynical mismanagement would result in a sea of entitled drunkards whose guttural cries are as predictable as they are tired and hollow. A pack of celery salt scarfing dude-bros in snapback hats and knockoff black-ice Kane jerseys purchased from a plywood shack sitting at the intersection of one of the tiered sewer lines Chicagoans call a ‘street system’ who want nothing more than to descend onto Nashville for some of those sweet, sweet free jello shots.

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I hear they have plenty left

I would like to offer a special thank you to the visiting Chicago fans. I know you love to hate the “Keep the Red Out” campaign by the Predators, despite the long history of NHL teams making use of restricted ticketing programs. But that’s never stopped you. You still manage to find your way into the arena, time after time.

I must also say thank you as, during this most recent series, fewer of you managed to piss yourselves and pick fights with cops. Though your good behavior likely represents a loss of city revenue, we appreciate you going out of your way to elevate yourselves into a presentable state for the last two games of what was a long and arduous playoff series. Although it definitely made it more difficult for Predators fans to complete our Chicago Fans bingo card (credit to: https://twitter.com/ericshuff)

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It seems strange to pen a good bye to the Chicago Blackhawks. Champions of the West. A dynasty in the making. A team that feels no pressure. In Patrick Kane’s own words, “We don’t really feel any pressure. All the pressure’s on them to win the next game.” Now, look into the eyes of a person who feels no pressure.

"i don't feel pressured. you're the ones who should feel pressured. i'm actually laughing." pic.twitter.com/H4K6zmIWan — Trevor van der Bort (@trevor_0) April 19, 2017

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