THE majority of British adults should be killed by the government, according to a new survey.

An opinion poll found that 64% wanted 56% of the population to be hanged, beheaded or handcuffed to a trolley and injected with bleach.

The biggest target for government-sponsored murder should be social workers, followed by bankers, teachers, tabloid journalists, murderers and anyone who has ever worked for the BBC.

MPs are now set to debate calls for the state to kill most of the people in the country, as well as ‘e-petitions’ demanding the return of open sewers, coat hanger abortions and polio.

Margaret Gerving, from Guildford, said: “It has reached the point where I am afraid I would like to see most people killed by the government. And is that not a damning indictment of the way in which liberals have ruined British society?

“If it was not for them I suspect I would be living in a decent country where I would only want the government to kill a fairly small number of people.”

She added: “Of course when this country had polio we also had proper values. We didn’t have murdering or gayness or gay people murdering children, as they do almost every day now.

“I would happily inject bleach into a gay, paedophile child murderer. Especially if he is one of those ones that can speak French or watches a soap opera that contains a disproportionate number of homosexuals.”

The survey also showed that 58% want the government to kill anyone who believes that child murderers should be kept alive and studied so we can find out as much as we possibly can about their brains.

Conservative MP Philip Davies said: “Not wanting to kill child murderers is exactly the same as murdering a child. In fact there’s a study by the University of Staines which proves it’s actually worse.

“The same study also proved that government-sponsored murder is a deterrent if you invent a completely different version of America to the one that actually exists.”

But Julian Cook, professor of the same old tedious fucking bullshit at Roehampton University, said: “Our study actually found that the people who are in favour of execution are also the ones who go on and on – and fucking on – about how ‘them Muslims are coming over here and trying to turn Britain into New Muslimia, where everybody gets executed and stuff’.

“Thank Christ they haven’t realised. Can you imagine what would happen if this country was just slightly less stupid?”