This year’s Players’ Weekend falls on the final part of the 2-game Bay Bridge series in a weird scheduling quirk where the Giants don’t have a game that Friday. What’s important, though, is that we have this year’s list of nicknames for the back of the jerseys (more on the jerseys in a bit).

As Doug did last year, let’s unfairly shuffle the list into categories.

The Boring

Steven Duggar: DUGG

Evan Longoria: LONGO

Will Smith: SMITTY

Joe Panik: J.P. :::-(

Donovan Solano: SOLI

Gustave Jandel: GUS

Kevin Pillar: K.P.

The first four on the list are repeat bores from a year ago. You know what? That’s fine. If that’s how you want to do your nickname, that’s fine. Just go for it. I’ve been called “Murph” so many times in my life that the thought of a different nickname hasn’t ever occurred.

But I expected something better from Kevin Pillar. Initials-as-nickname still doesn’t quite fit the description of what they’re going for here with Players’ Weekend, but I appreciate Pillar being humble in this instance and eschewing “Superman”. Still, if I had the opportunity to talk this out with him, I would’ve advised he go with “Clark Kent” or “PillaRBI Man”.

Along that same line, I would’ve lobbied hard for Solano to make his “Solano Mall” as a shout out to all the Giants fans in the city of Fairfield.

The Probably Boring But There’s A Slight Chance It’s Some Weird Inside Joke That We’re Not Privy To

Alex Dickerson: GRANDPA

Brandon Belt: BOB

Tyler Beede: BEEDAH

Andrew Suarez: EDDY

There’s an excellent chance that Dickerson’s myriad of injuries over the years has given him the reputation of being frail, like somebody’s grandpa and that’s the reason for this nickname. Alternatively, I’m imagining that his other, more popular nickname, has at times inspired him to say some unsavory things not suitable for young baseball fans but in a creepy old grandpa voice, and so the players call him that for that reason.

Or, just to be clean about this, maybe he’s always been older than the group of guys he’s played because of all his rehab assignments and depth chart conflicts, and so younger players just call him grandpa. In any case, it’s probably a good thing that he stayed away from something phallic, but that doesn’t mean he we have to like it.

Belt explains in this video why he’s called BOB:

I’ve decided that “BEEDAH” is supposed to sound like Eric Cartman when he says, “YOU WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORUH-TAY”. For the purposes of this website, South Park references are defined as “boring”; however, there’s still a nonzero chance there’s another explanation.

The “Hey, That’s Different!”

Buster Posey: HUM BUSS

Shaun Anderson: BIGG SHAW

Has Buster Posey appropriated “HUM BABY” for his own sake? Possibly! Last year, he just went with “Buster”, which is actually his nickname. Madison Bumgarner calls him Gerald because that’s his actual name. So, why the change this year?

Let’s imagine that someone said Buster using Buster was boring and when Buster got grumpy about it, someone called him Ebenezer Scrooge or just said “Bah humbug” in a mocking tone. Then someone said “Bah Hum Buss”. And that’s how we got to Hum Buss.

Meanwhile, I did not expect Shaun Anderson to possibly make a wrestling reference, so that’s why it lands in this category.

The We Should Get To The Bottom Of This; Post The Tweet That Explains It Below

Sam Selman: TROY

Sam Coonrod: COACH

Andrew Suarez: EDDY

Andrew Suarez going from “ANDY” to “EDDY” has some perhaps not humorous vibes behind it, but here’s hoping we find out. The Sams have unconventional nicknames relative to their peers and their names. Not “SELLY”, not “ROD MAN”, but...? Hmm. If you already know these answers, please let us know.

The Totally Fine Because This Player Has A Pre-Existing Nickname

Madison Bumarner: MAD-BUM

Pablo Sandoval: PANDA

Jeff Samardzija: SHARK

Bruce Bochy: BOCH

Mike Yastrzemski: YAZ

Stephen Vogt: I BELIEVE

Reyes Moronta: EL TIBU

I dispute the Giants including Bruce Bochy on their list because he’s not a player, but at the same time, fine. He’s retiring.

Mike Yastrzemski really didn’t have a choice in the matter, but it’s a good thing his grandfather’s nickname is iconic.

Admittedly, Moronta’s inclusion here is a bit controversial. We don’t call him El Tibu around here. It’s not a name you see floating around the stadium, and it means Shark, giving the Giants two sharks. But, this seems like the nickname has been with him since before he became the Giants’ seventh inning guy, so, Moronta goes here.

A’s fans made “I believe in Stephen Vogt” a genuine force in 2014, and so he’s held onto it for this Players’ Weekend. That works. It’s hard not to believe in Stephen Vogt.

The Extremely Good

Brandon Crawford: DJ BC Raw

Austin Slater: AC

Tony Watson: TONE RANGER

Trevor Gott: GOTTIE

Scooter Gennett: RYAN

Austin Slater pulling the “Saved By The Bell” reference will always work. “Tone Ranger” just sounds cool and the contrast between the name and Tony Watson’s boring, unassuming public persona really works, but I really want to focus on these last two.

Gott calling himself “Gottie” just works on two levels: there’s the boring, “Hey, it’s Baseball” component to the name, but then there’s the gangster John Gotti part of it, too. And that gets us to the John Travolta John Gotti movie, “GOTTI”, which gets us to this:

Audiences loved Gotti but critics don’t want you to see it… The question is why??? Trust the people and see it for yourself! pic.twitter.com/K6a9jAO4UH — Gotti Film (@Gotti_Film) June 19, 2018

It makes me really happy to think that Trevor Gott has this kind of brash bluster within him that he can only unleash through his Players’ Weekend nickname. That’s probably not what happened here — he probably goes by “Gottie” because adding “ie” or “y” to the end of a player’s last name is just how you do nicknames in baseball — but, again, I’m going to pretend that it is.

More importantly, Scooter Gennett’s real first name is Ryan. He nicknamed himself “Scooter” after a run-in with The Law. Scooter became his real name and this Players’ Weekend, he’s reclaimed his given name to be his nickname. It’s beautiful.

The Honorable Mention

Last year, we had Hunter Pence and “Underpants”. Just to keep that part of the fun going, here’s what Hunter Pence has nicknamed himself this year: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Beautiful.

Not beautiful? This year’s uniforms. Here’s a glimpse:

The Giants will be wearing this all black variant with silver lettering for their two-game series in Oakland. It’s a significant departure from last year’s colorful scheme:

As someone on the Internet said:

Damn right. Black and white!

Now:



1) Remove all logos.

2) No pitches over 83 MPH

3) Bunts = home runs

4) 8 balls to a walk

5) Team doctor is a flask of whiskey

6) You must shave with a bayonet

7) Sacrifice fly costs you your life

8) Mustaches for all https://t.co/eCyNksAbyw — C. Radbourn, Esq. (@OldHossRadbourn) August 6, 2019

Apparently, the goal here was to give players a blank canvas so that they could accessorize their uniforms to fit their personalities. I’m sure there will be limits to the “flair” — no shiny jewelry or, like, smart watches — but even without them, it’s hard to see how they could overcome these drab looks.