For the runners-up to the most cryptic and esoteric new emoji (I insist that "emoji" is both singular and plural, omnipotent in its grammatical conception, just like LEGO; people who say "legos" are dirty sycophants), I have chosen the four emoji most likely to be encountered in an ancient catacomb hidden beneath the auspices of your local Mac's (soon to be Circle K) if you were a character in a SNES game cartridge. We have the old key, which is a definite improvement from the new key; the candle, perfect for using in conjunction with the book and bell to prepare a strong spell of exorcism; the single sword, which is better than the butcher knife emoji I had been using to initiate meet-ups with the Berlin expat LARP chapter; and the spiderweb, which is the sigil of both Arachne and Scarlet Johannson's character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, who is never directly referred to by her comic book name.

The most portentous emoji of all time, however, remains unseated by this new batch of arcane symbols. Nothing describes the doom foretold, that dread hand of fate, better than SOON.

