CHICAGO—Sighing as he scanned the room and performed a mental tally of everyone he would invite, local 26-year-old Andrew Bryer sadly realized that his cramped one-bedroom apartment has enough space to host a party with all of his friends, sources confirmed Friday. “There’s really nowhere to sit other than the futon and a couple of stools, but honestly that’s probably plenty of seating for my college friends and my friends from work,” said Bryer, adding that his narrow galley kitchen would provide “plenty” of additional square footage should he also invite a few neighbors from his apartment building or if some of his hometown friends were visiting. “I guess if all of them brought their friends it might get a bit crowded, but the little entryway area would still provide enough overflow room for everyone. Or I could just push the coffee table against the wall. Jeez, I could certainly host everybody, no problem.” After checking his fridge, Bryer told reporters he would definitely have to get a second 12-pack before ever having the party.

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