Brett McGinness

USA TODAY

Both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump can breathe a big sigh of relief this morning ... they don't have to be in the same room ever again. Last night, just 24 hours after a testy final debate in Las Vegas, the two candidates were mocking each other in New York -- but for charity this time! The rest of their lives will be spent on each-other evasion. Good luck, you two.

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Sabotaged with an unfunny mic

Next time, Donald, read the room. You were delivering your standard /r/The_Donald set, and this was more of a "guffaw at a New Yorker cartoon" sort of audience. Donald Trump was booed last night during his set at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, a furdraiser for the New York Diocese and a semi-regular stop on the presidential campaign circuit. The event gives candidates the opportunity to mock themselves and their opponents in a roast-type atmosphere.

Trump's most memorable lines:

"Michelle Obama gives a speech and everyone loves it; it's fantastic. They think she's absolutely great. My wife Melania gives the exact same speech and people get on her case."

"Here she is in public tonight pretending not to hate Catholics."

“Hillary isn't laughing as much as the rest of us. That's because she knows the jokes, and all of the jokes were given to her in advance of the dinner by Donna Brazile,”

"Now I'm told Hillary went to confession before tonight's event, but the priest was having a hard time when he asked her about her sins and she said she couldn't remember 39 times."

"Hillary is so corrupt, she got kicked off the Watergate Commission. How corrupt do you have to be to get kicked off the Watergate Commission? Pretty corrupt."

Hillary, meanwhile, wasn't quite ROTFLMAO, but she also wasn't trending on Twitter about how bad she bombed, so ... mission accomplished.

Clinton's most memorable lines:

"I'm not eligible for sainthood, but getting through these three debates with Donald has to count as a miracle. So I guess I'm up against the highest, hardest, stained-glass ceiling."

"I just want to put you all in a basket of adorables."

"Donald, after listening to your speech, I will also enjoy listening to Mike Pence deny that you ever gave it."

"People look at the Statue of Liberty and they see a proud symbol of our history as a nation of immigrants, a beacon of hope for people around the world. Donald looks at the Statue of Liberty and sees a 4."

"Let's come together, remember what unites us, and just rip on Ted Cruz."

LOL all you want; in only 18 days, one of these jokesters is going to be our president-elect.

Trump demands a precount

How, exactly, can Trump already be upset about the nonexistent results of an incomplete election? Yesterday we saw more fallout of Trump's refusal to say he'd accept the outcome of this November's election. He clarified his stance Thursday at a rally in Ohio, telling his audience, "I will totally accept the results of this great and historic presidential election ... if I win." In Reno, running mate Mike Pence was on the same page as Trump for once, saying, "Of course we will accept a clear election result, but we also reserve the right to contest or file a legal challenge in the case of questionable results."

Criticism of his stance came from far and wide. President Obama said Trump had no evidence, and "this is more than just the usual standard lie. That's no laughing matter." U.S. Sen. John McCain (R-Arizona), who withdrew his earlier support of Trump, said in a statement, "There have been irregularities in our elections, sometimes even fraud, but never to an extent that it affected the outcome."U.S. Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) said, "“You have to have faith in elections in order for our country to function." A statement from Speaker Paul Ryan's office said he was "fully confident the states will carry out this election with integrity." U.S. Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tennessee), a onetime Trump VP possibility, tweeted, "It is imperative that Donald Trump clearly state that he will accept the results of the election when complete."

It wasn't all criticism of Trump's stance, though; several Trump backers in Ohio praised the move, among others. “It wasn’t a gaffe, it was a genius move on his part," said Ray Warrick, former GOP chair in Warren County. Butler County GOP chair Todd Hall agreed. “And the more that the media slams him and possible false accusations come out it just stirs more voters up," said Hall. "It’s great for the election up here because no one is sitting on their hands. Everyone is doing everything they can.”

Several Trump supporters said Trump's refusal is no different that Al Gore disputing the outcome of the 2000 election. That one was totally different, say Democrats, because ... reasons.

Your new fake email address

"My email address for a 'Bad Hombres' beer koozie? Sure, it's ... uh ... bobama@ameritech.net."

WikiLeaks finally caught up with Barack Obama, releasing email conversations which reflect the then-candidate's confidence in winning the White House as early as October 2008. In the exchanges, Obama and members of his transition team discuss possible cabinet-level appointees, including Hillary Clinton for either secretary of State or secretary of Health and Human Services.

The emails also showed Team Obama getting an early jump on the economic crisis. “Normally these decisions could be made after the election, and ideally after the selection of a National Economic Advisor, but, of course, these are not normal times,” John Podesta wrote to Obama. One thing they opted against was accepting President Bush's invitation to attend a G-20 summit on the crisis. They worried that an amiable joint appearance would have tied Obama to Bush-era policies, but a combative joint appearance would have signaled a divided American front.

Aside from that ...

Barack Obama's private email address, circa 2008, was revealed as the aforementioned bobama@ameritech.net, which comes as a disappointment to everyone who was hoping for borninkenya@kenyamail.biz.

Clinton aide Doug Band (who we last saw in a power struggle with Chelsea) complained about disclosure requirements at the Clinton Global Initiative, saying that Bill didn't have to sign anything even though there were "500 different examples" of conflicts.

WikiLeaks tweeted yesterday afternoon that they "have a surprise in store for @TimKaine and @DonnaBrazile."

Hillary Clinton ...

Wait, are they out of Hillary stuff? We're still 18 days out here, guys. Are you already tapped out?

More from the campaign trail

New Jersey woman accuses Trump of sexual misconduct (Asbury Park Press)

More than 71 million people tuned in to Wednesday's debate to have their preconceived opinions confirmed (USA TODAY OnPolitics)

Hipster apparel, circa 2021: "America Needs Nasty Women" shirts to go with their "Make America Great Again" hats (USA TODAY OnPolitics)

A Dong — Pho a better America (Des Moines Register)

For a woman, it ain't easy

Hillary's attire for the three debates: red, white and blue? Nope, it was Suge, Tupac and Snoop.