"All Of Our Plans Capsized"

My fiancée and I (also female) have been engaged for three years. We're getting married next Saturday.

Mother-in-law (MIL) said she wanted to plan the wedding (apparently this is some sort of Southern tradition). She didn't even start thinking about logistics until less than a year out.

MIL and my fiancée have knock-down drag-outs over every detail. MIL would stonewall until my fiancée would cave or dig in her heels, and something would get picked out of desperation. A microcosm of this is the save-the-dates. MIL insisted on having her name on them (so that 'people would know that [MIL] was paying for it'), and that they be a particular color and style (which clashed with our color scheme). My fiancée was not happy, but after a full month of arguing, she conceded and MIL ordered the ones MIL wanted. By the time they were at MIL's house, the wedding was less than four months away, and it was too late to send them.

MIL showed up to my fiancée's bridal appointment completely wasted and a half an hour late. MIL then made the comment 'it doesn't matter what dress you pick, you're going to look fat in it anyway' (I was not there, fiancée and her best man were, and if I was, I would be in prison).

MIL and I picked a style of dress for me, and she didn't tell me that she bought them in two different sizes of each style because 'these are the biggest dresses they have, and you'll probably need the other one for fabric to make a dress that fits.' I fit into the smaller of the two dresses with room to spare, in the style that I picked. (MIL is convinced that I'm as morbidly obese as the people on My 600 LBS Life. I am not. This has been a point of contention since my first Christmas with them, Christmas 2015, where she got me what appeared to be a cookbook for dieters. Two years later, she got me leggings that were 5 sizes too big.)

My fiancée wanted to get married in a church, and our diocese is lukewarm on such things since we're lesbians. We were going to have it at the camp where my fiancée grew up, but MIL ruined that and canceled the booking after she had been drinking. MIL then had to pick the most expensive country club type place to hold it (because she is a big to-do, thank you very much).

MIL demands that my fiancée and I take off time from work and school with less than a week's notice. We tell her that it's not possible. She decided to escalate. It is the Ides of March, and we get an email from MIL about how she 'cannot possibly believe we are so disinterested in our own wedding' and that she should get the following: complete control of the decorations and table settings and placements; change the bridesmaids dresses to the ones that my sister-in-law picked, even though my bridesmaids had already bought the dress fiancée and I picked.

Just to re-emphasize: MIL completely capsized all wedding plans with less than three months notice. We told MIL to shove it and that we would do it ourselves, calling her bluff. We also disinvited her from the wedding, and all of my fiancée's family because they act like flying monkeys for MIL, especially my sister-in-law. (Mine weren't coming because they disowned me three years ago, so that stayed the same.)

MIL complains and moans about this to family, who tell her that she messed up and that she ought to cut us a check and be done with it, if for nothing else than to apologize for being such a witch. MIL agrees to cut a check for $10,000 and an additional $5,000 'if we need it.' She gave us the first one. We're still waiting on the second one. It is 9 days before the wedding. (This is a lot of money, I know. MIL was a debutante and her family is loaded.)

Thankfully, I am a penny-pinching shrew, so we really aren't in bad shape if she reneges on it, but it would be really nice to get a good honeymoon out of MIL being a nightmare. My fiancée still isn't speaking to MIL because of this, and I have been handling the negotiations with her about the money.

MIL recently has fractured her pelvis (she tripped over a dog while sloshed in her kitchen), and she would have been a lot better off if she had taken her osteoporosis meds, but of course, she didn't because you can't drink with them. Priorities.

MIL is now incapacitated in a rehabilitation center. I should be getting the remainder of the money promised today or later this week."