Edgar Allen Poe is one of the most interesting and influential writers of the 19th century. The man invented the detective story, and wrote such classics as The Raven, a Tell-Tale Heart and the Pit and the Pendulum. Not to mention a personal favorite of mine, the Cask of Amontillado. So rather than adapting one of these stories into a thrilling movie, or better yet, do a Bio-pic on Poe himself, the studio decided that a fictitious movie about a non existent serial killer in Poe’s final days was more the speed of the audiences. Let me tell you, I would have certainly preferred the former.

The story is poorly conceived, and while there are plenty of shock thrills, the overall plot was one that weâ€™ve seen dozens of times before. The worst part was that they didnâ€™t even bother trying to spice it up. Sure its R rated, so they got away with a little more risquÃ© violence, but it was totally unnecessary, and at some points just poorly done. The CG blood spatter looked like something out of Punisher: Warzone. Making this movie R Rated cuts your audience down considerably, and as far as I am concerned, they are throwing away ticket sales from under 17 year olds you might have been gulled into the seats as they wait for the Avengers to come out.

Now, James McTiegue, the director, has made good films in the past. V for Vendetta is one of my all time favorites, so I call myself disappointed at this pitiful effort. He could have gotten a better script, or insisted on a rewrite. He could have given it a little more style, the direction seemed static, no flair, no excitement. He could have CAST IT BETTER! Nowadays, everybody wants Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man, Sherlock Holmes) in the past 5 years he has brought us amazing characters with one characteristic that studios love: he sells. But with that bankability its not surprising that his schedule is booked tighter that hotel rooms at Comic Con. So when you have a role that was written for an actor like that, but you donâ€™t have a snowball chance in Hell of getting him. What do you do? Apparently Relativity Media thinks the answer is hire John Cusack instead. Boy, did they screw the pooch on that one.

I think the main reason John Cusack was hired to play the role of gothic mystery writer Edger Allen Poe, was the mere fact that the two share a resemblance. Both of them have giant heads. But aside from the physical, I am at a loss for his being in this role. He was dry, boring, and at some points, down right annoying. He can’t pull of snark the way Downey does. When Downey does it, its charming and disarming. When Cusack does it, it looks like a 40-something acting like a petulant 12-year old who had their dolly taken away by a disapproving parent. Someone, back in the pages of history, made the mistake of telling Cusack that he was an â€œactor,” when quite frankly, he isnâ€™t. He is a memory best left back in the 80s, holding up his boom box asking forgiveness from women he had no right being with in the first place. Because he certainly has no place in 19th century Baltimore.

The Bottom Line:

If you have an empty afternoon and want to seem some dime-store thrills and some cheap effects, you could find worse, but youâ€™d really have to look for it.

Matinee at best.

Until next time…

See you at the theater