I admit that in my experience, people who are overly fond of the phrase “just saying” usually have few if any intelligent things to say. It’s a close rhetorical cousin of “‘Nuff said” and “True dat.” Unbeknownst to those who use it, the phrase is essentially code for “I know you’ll tear into this and rightly so, but I can’t help myself,” and shallow thinkers often append it to written or spoken opinions as a means substituting glibness for reason. It’s like saying “My bad” instead of offering a real apology or some sort of reparations for harm done, and does nothing to bolster an irredeemably foolish idea.

So when I happened across this startlingly stupid post by someone named Kathy Dunton on a blog with a title that starts with “Just Saying,” I was admittedly not expecting much of substance or value. Still, even the most open-minded reading of this bullshit does nothing more than open one’s mind to being flooded with bullshit. As it were. Get my drift? You feelin’ me? Werd!

The post is an open letter of sorts to transgender people, and asks them to understand that recent legislation coupling clear anti-transgender motives and actions to a dose of straight-up anti-gay nonsense isn’t really about transphobia or homophobia; it’s about keeping kids safe from sexual predators.

Taking it from the top:

“Dear Transgendered People,

“There’s a letter header I never thought I’d be writing.”

Of course you didn’t. You surely assumed that you’d be able to negotiate your life without having to interact in any way with the circus freaks in your midst, right? Because let’s face it, transgender people are people (you even say so! Good job!) but they’re not really 100 percent people people.

“As woman who was born female, and has always felt like a female, I know that I cannot possibly understand your life. At the same time, I really feel like the intention of recent legislation is being hijacked and distorted. As I have read many of House Bills that have passed through legislation, I don’t see them as the discrimination bills that they are being played as in the media. I see them as protection bills for the general public, especially our most vulnerable.”

Apart from the fact that it’s safe to say that Kathy Dunton is no burgeoning literary talent, it is obvious that she has not read these bills at all. She has only read the angry reactions to them and doesn’t understand them because she has no comprehension whatsoever what the new laws in North Carolina and Mississippi actually say. And they don’t apply merely to bathrooms and trans people.

This piece doesn’t delve into the language of the bills, but it accurately reflects their reach:

The North Carolina bill requires individuals to use the bathroom that matches the gender listed on their birth certificate and restricts local governments from providing specific protections based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Mississippi’s law allows people to withhold services from lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals on religious grounds.

Then there’s this, part of a great column by Henry Rollins:

House Bill 2 is much more than just the “bathroom bill” that it’s being characterized as. It actually prevents avenues of state government from including LGBT people in previous protections. For private-sector bigots, it is now open season.

Anyway, it’s hardly a shock that Ms. Dunton doesn’t see these laws as discriminatory. When you operate from a platform of fear and loathing, don’t read the things you comment on, and on top of that are not very bright, you tend not to see things accurately.

“North Carolina’s HB 2 or ‘Public Facilities Privacy and Security Act,’ is not meant to single you out, but has the intent of ensuring ‘reasonable accommodation’ for all.”

Forget the unsavoriness of this whole blog post Ms. Dunton laughably classifies a conversation-starter. Who the hell do people like this bozo think they are fooling? What “reasonable accommodations” have suddenly been granted by the laws that didn’t already exist?

“Is that too much to ask? Is it too much to ask for a mom, shopping for school clothes, with her young children, to have them try on clothes in a dressing room, without a male audience? Target seems to think so with their recent press release.

“What could go wrong there?”

If it wasn’t clear that Kathy Dunton is an idiot in general as well as clueless about the topic under discussion, this sentence erases all doubt. How many times has anyone on this planet ever had an audience in a goddamned department-store dressing room? Before this courageous intervention by the stand-up governor of the Tar Heel State, were such places overrun with faggots and bearded ladies trying to catch sight of your or your little kids’ private bits while you tried to settle on which new pair of jeans to buy?

“So let’s just get to the angst that many of us parents, and women in particular are feeling. This isn’t about YOU.

“We don’t care that you have changed your person, wear a skirt, or butch your hair short.

“We don’t care that you wear makeup, take hormones to make your facial hair grow or stop growing, WE don’t care. This isn’t about YOU!”

Notice the ramping up of the hysteria here. It’s not subtle; twittering dummies don’t do subtlety. The invocation of the royal “we” and the CAPS FOR EMPHASIS tell you that if Ms. Dunton didn’t mean business before, she certainly does now.

“WE don’t see you as a threat … you are not the threat. We do not see you as a predator. What we do see is the 400,000 registered sex offenders using bathrooms, and changing rooms as new “playgrounds.’ We see the 80,000-100,000 convicted and released offenders that are not on the registry. And most of all, we see the not yet caught offenders who look nothing like you.”

How forward-thinking of Ms. Dunton to undisguisedly conflate transgendered people with sex offenders. This makes perfect sense, since transgendered people use bathrooms to do their pissing-and-shtting business like virtually everyone else, whereas sex offenders are convicted criminals who pose a real (not phantom or visceral) menace to society.

More to the point, however, is that unless I am missing something, they almost never carry out their crimes in restrooms. And those who have done so, or would plan to do so, are not going to be deterred by laws like the one in North Carolina. I mean really — if a young kid is in a bathroom and you’re an adult looking to do foul things to that child, wouldn’t you stop to consider the fact that one or both of his or her parents are either in the same damn room or waiting right outside? If not, you won’t remain an at-large sex-offender for very long, any more than you would enjoy a long career as a thief by walking into Wal-Marts and dragging whole futons and microwaves out into the parking lot in full view.

Oops! I forgot an important digression:

“We may not understand your journey, or relate to your dilemma. (Many of us Bio-females gave up pantyhose years ago. We find them binding. So for someone to intentionally wear them, whilst transitioning to the opposite sex, on purpose…is perplexing to us. Just Saying)”

Notice that there are “bio-females” and, by implicit extension, fake females going by the misleading label of transgender. Even if they have had reassignment surgery, they will never be real women. But this isn’t about them! It’s not bigotry! It’s…it’s…

“But this is not about me anymore then it is about you. It’s about our children.”

Ah, there it is. I was waiting for this. It’s not about your raw gut feelings about people you repeatedly emphasize that you don’t understand, or about fears founded on your own real or invented-for-effect childhood experiences (“I had an encounter with such a man when I was 4 years old, at a daycare, in a bathroom”) . It’s about the children! OUR CHILDREN! This, not coincidentally, smacks of the millions of American religious bigots who are quick to point out that they, personally, have no quarrel with gay people — no, it’s God who is the original King Homophobe, and good Christians merely have to fall in line or burn to a crisp themselves.

“Registered Sex offenders, are supposed to distance themselves from places like schools and other kid oriented events and activities, however enforcement of these policies are sorely lacking. Public buildings, malls, stores and other settings will become a ‘safe place to offend’. It’s already happened in the last few weeks, with the non-transgendered pushing the envelope in states that has adopted the ‘now anyone can enter, anytime, anywhere’ policies.”

It’s already happened? When and where, Kathy? Who has been hurt? Some conspicuous link-phobia here.

“So I am asking you to take a step back. Although I recognize your need to be validated, I am asking you and your people in your PR dept., recognize the greater issue is of the physical, and emotional safety of our children and others … So please tell your PR people to stop with homophobic speak. It’s a lie. Stop the victim mentality mantra, and think about the actual victims here. And think about those that are now being equipped with free pass, to offend more openly.”

Hmm. I didn’t think this was ever about anyone’s “need to be validated” — more like left alone by halfwits like Kathy Dunton (Just Saying, Kathy).

Also, their “PR people”? Trans people don’t have voices of their own? You obviously don’t have the first frigging clue about this. None at all. This was as clear as day from your opening couple of sentences, but imprecations like this one only underscore the depth of your ignorance.

And, really? The victim mentality? If these laws are not about transgender people, then whom has been targeted by this recent spate of anti-transgender legislation? Whose noncriminal behavior has suddenly become a possible way to get arrested in states in the U.S. Hillbilly Belt?

“Sex offenders offend minors 44% of the time. Which obviously mean they offend adults male or female 56% of the time. That’s your sister in college, your mom, and yes, even your Grama.

“68% of sexual assaults are never reported to the police, and 98% of rapists will never spend 1 night in jail. And, are free to rape again.”

Kathy includes these stats not only to prove that she can correctly subtract 44 from 100, but also to emphasize that, although trans people aren’t sex offenders, gosh no, they should be cleanly lumped in with them for restroom purposes. Think of all the Gramas out there that poseur trannies might try to violate inside one of the crapper-stalls at a Todd Rundgren concert.

“Your rights, give them power.”

Yep. Kathy Dunton is, using the, power, of extraneous commas, actually saying that the rights of some people should be rescinded if those rights embolden criminals. I hope she is in favor of repealing the Second Amendment.

“Not everyone is as virtuous as you or I.”

Actually, based on this one tortured attempt at a cogent essay on Kathy Dunton’s part, it’s safe to say that practically everyone outdoes her in the virtuosity department.

Oh, I almost forgot the awesomely funny graphic Kathy uses — a perfect punctuation mark for someone operating at a “just saying” level.