There are many things about Nepal that flummox visitors who stray into the country’s sovereign territory from time to time. In order to help them make sense of this country which is a riddle wrapped in a mystery and stuffed inside a conundrum, the Ass provides this one-stop window containing answers to some Frequently Asked Questions about Nepal:

Q. Where is Nepal?

A: Good question. We’re just trying to figure that out ourselves. In a philosophical sense you could say that we don’t know where we are at the present juncture of history, or the direction we are headed as a nation state.

Q: Why doesn’t Kathmandu have any working traffic lights?

Because an automatic traffic light has not yet been invented which can detect an approaching VVIP motorcade and stop all vehicular movements at intersections for a minimum of one hour.

Q: How is Nepal promoting tourism in 2020?

Nepal will not meet the 2 million target in 2020. It will exceed it. The Minister of Tourism, Marxism and Leninism is in Australia as we speak to offer people there safe haven in Nepal. The minister also got the brainwave to require all of Nepal’s 4 million overseas workers to wear #VNY2020 t-shirts at construction sites in Saudi Arabia and in palm oil plantations in Malaysia.

Q: What is Nepal best known for?

The birthplace of Lord Buddha.

Home of Lord Ram’s in-laws.

The highest mountain in the world.

As the highest per capita producer of instant noodles.

Always 15 minutes ahead of Indian Standard Time.

For the world’s friendliest and most trustworthy crooks.

Q: How do people commonly greet each other in Nepal?

“Khanu bho?” Translation: Have you partaken in a bribe yet?

Q: What are some common Nepali customs?

Never offer anything with your left hand, it is considered rude. If it is offered under the table, taking with either hand is OK.

Q: Any tips on dining etiquette?

To blend in with your hosts, chew loudly with your mouth open. After finishing your meal, show gratitude and appreciation by burping in a loud and carefree manner.

Q: What other cultural sensitivities should I keep in mind?

Public display of affection is considered offensive. Refrain from holding hands in the streets unless you are of the same sex.

Q: How do I ensure that my visit will help Nepal’s economy?

Always insist on paying three times more than what locals pay for meals, museum tickets and domestic air transport.

Q: Is there any reason why you shouldn’t be in preventive custody under the new IT Bill?

None whatsoever.