Everybody wants to live in the future. Even as humanity guzzles the last of its oil and helium supplies and wrings the planet like a sponge rather than face the ignominy of solar panels on the roof, we like to imagine that human tenacity will overcome the problems we face and catapult us into an idyllic future filled with robot butlers and cool laser weapons with which to destroy the robot butlers when they turn on their human masters. We may even get our long-awaited flying cars, which would obviously be totally safe and awesome - not like the driverless cars we actually have, which you'd clearly have to be crazy to trust. Of all the utopian societies you might want to live in, Star Trek has always presented a particularly tempting vision of the future. Whether you want to park yourself by the replicator and eat your way through the animal kingdom in alphabetical order or level up your Night Elf character on the holodeck all day, the 24th Century seems to welcome everyone with open arms. Yes, everyone has this bizarre belief that signing up to Starfleet so you can be exploded or assimilated is the world's most noble career move, and there is the risk that the girl you brought home is actually a shapeshifter who wants to steal your identity, starting with your blood. On the whole, though, Gene Roddenberry's future seems like a pretty excellent place to hang your hat. Well, there's just one thing. Settle down in the Federation and you'll be surrounded by incompetent buffoons who are pretty much guaranteed to make your life hell. These so-called enlightened Starfleet types are the thickest bunch of intergalactic hyper-planks imaginable. Let's look at the evidence: