In June, Tom Ford, designer and provocateur, made weary fashion journalists in London for the men's shows perk up and do a double take at what was then-called a crucifix/penis necklace by writers. It was equal parts panned as obscene or inspired—a sly allusion to fascinus charms favored during the Roman empire. Though why anyone is shocked at this gold or silver bijoux from the man who gave us the Gucci G on pubic hair, we will never know.

The phallic jewelry is now available for purchase on tomford.com, and lest there be any lingering confusion, it is called, simply "the penis necklace"—crucifix not mentioned (we're sure Catholics the world over just sighed in relief).

It comes in three sizes, small, medium and large—so at the risk of offending anyone, we'd argue this is no time to get frugal. Large it is, for anyone on your Christmas gift list from the Samantha of your group, as a fertility talisman to the lady in your life looking to procreate, to your tongue-in-cheek Tom Ford-loving gay bestie or to that man who is proud as a peach with what he's working with. Just don't get it mixed up with mom's pressie once it's wrapped.

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