First Day, Prelude

Hajime first meets Tooru-chan when he shatters the window to the left of the Oikawa household’s front door. Despite what his contrite mother tells Oikawa-sama when she drags Hajime to apologize, it’s not an accident. The Iwazumis have just moved into the neighborhood, but Hajime would rather be anywhere but here. He misses Fukui and his friends from elementary school and the mountains. Hajime doesn’t want to live in too-flat Myagi where he doesn’t know a single person and his mom is trying too hard to make friends with the other ladies on their street.

“I’m so sorry for Hajime’s behavior!” his mom is still exclaiming as she nudges him forward, his cue to give a little bow and grumble an apology of his own. Lucky for everyone, Oikawa-sama doesn't seem to be too upset as she accepts Haha’s apology and invites them in for tea.

Hajime first meets Tooru-chan when Oikawa-sama shoves her son, a month younger than Hajime, forward so the ladies can break bread together.

“Are you coming?” Tooru-chan asks. Hajime stares.

“Are you dumb or something? Come on!” the boy baits. Hajime bites.

“I’m not dumb!” he grouches and follows Tooru-chan up the stairs. It’s the start of something beautiful. It’s the best day of Hajime’s life so far.

First Fight, Prelude

It doesn’t take long for an argument to ensue.

“Godzilla!” Hajime argues.

“E.T.” Tooru-chan says and retaliates for Hajime’s alleged insubordination by shoving him. Hajime shoves back. It’s not the last time they’ll fight about this, or fight about anything really.

They’re still best friends by the end of the day.

First Hospital Visit, Prelude

The tree isn’t that tall, and it’s for this reason that Hajime and Tooru freeze for a moment after the fall before time unsticks itself and the world starts moving again.

Tooru clutches his swollen wrist and starts bawling . Hajime kind of wants to do the same thing, but Okasaan said that he’s a big boy, bigger than Tooru both in age and in size, so it’s his job to take care of him.

“I- I’ll get Okasaan!” Hajime stammers, wishing it had been him who had broken his wrist and not Tooru because he’s not sure how much more of his friend’s crying he can handle. Tooru’s watery eyes are the size of Okasaan’s tea saucers when he looks at Hajime.

“Don’t leave me,” he sniffles. Hajime drops to his knees beside Tooru. He takesTooru’s good hand and pulls him up.

“Never,” he promises. “We’ll go together.”

First Game, Prelude

Tooru has a new best friend, and there’s no way for Hajime to compete, so he joins forces with it: volleyball.

Even this early on, Hajime can tell that Tooru has a gift; he’s athletic, graceful, smart, and most importantly, more hungry for victory than anyone else on the court.

Tooru has a new best friend called volleyball, but Hajime doesn’t exactly hate it, so they all team up together-- Tooru, volleyball, and Hajime. It works for a while.

First Day, Interlude

It doesn’t work forever though, and by the time Tooru and Hajime step onto the grounds of Aoba Johsai for the first time, volleyball has brought them closer together, in spite of the pain that has come along with it.

They’re both smarting from their loss against Ushijima-- no , Hajime forcibly reminds both of them , Shiratorizawa -- but this is it, the year that they will dominate the court together and win not only against Shiratorizawa, but everyone else too. They’ll make it to nationals and win there and then-- well, neither of them has planned that far ahead, but Hajime knows that only good things can come of it.

First Game, Interlude

They lose to Shiratorizawa in the first round of the Interhigh circuit. With the lessons they learned in middle school, it should sting less than it does. Their captain retires after the game. Oikawa is promoted from pinch server to starting setter. He starts staying late to practice again.

First Kiss, Prelude

When Oikawa gets hurt, the hospital visit isn’t a monumental first for the reason most presume it is. It is not their first hospital visit. And it is not the first time Oikawa’s refusal to consider the consequences has gotten him in trouble.

It is, however, still a monumental first.

The injury changes the way Oikawa plays. It changes Hajime’s aspirations for the future.

Very little about the world around them has changed when their lips come apart, but Hajime feels physically different, like something inside has shifted.

He kind of likes it. A lot.

First Fight, Interlude

“We don’t have to do it this way,” Hajime groans. The one thing that Tooru still hasn’t grown out of (apart from literally every childish habit he clings to like a starfish ) is his melodrama. Tooru hums.

“Hands over your eyes, Hajime!” he chirps. Hajime’s hands dutifully obscure his vision.

“Now on the count of three,” Tooru narrates. “Letters on the table. One, two, three!” There are two resounding thumps as they slap their acceptance letters on the table. Hajime knows what Tooru is expecting: two identical letters from the top school that scouted him, matching in every way but the names they are addressed to.

Hajime could go there, could stick close to Tooru in the only way he’s known since he moved to Myagi.

He chooses the school an hour’s train ride from Tooru, the one with the number four pre med program in Japan. It doesn’t even have an intramural volleyball club. Tooru shouts and cries and tries to negotiate, but Hajime’s decision is final. They don’t talk again until graduation.

First Separation, Prelude

It’s the worst they’ve ever fought, and Hajime knows they both have things to apologize for-- Tooru and his reaction to the news and Hajime and his harsh words of retaliation. They’re too proud to say a thing to each other, so Hajime spends the weeks leading up to graduation in agonizing silence. Their parents both know something is wrong, but everyone remains quiet, even as Okasaan and Haha get together for afternoon tea every Saturday and host dinners with the Oikawa and Iwazumi families together.

The awkward silence that pervades the gatherings is suffocating, even when Oikawa-san and Tou-san attempt to fill it with work talk or discuss the latest football matches on television. And even though Hajime and Tooru sit next to each other, just as they have for the past decade, Hajime feels as though his best friend is worlds away, halfway across the universe and getting farther by the minute.

Still, they say nothing, and by the time graduation rolls around, the sky blue, the cherry blossoms in full bloom, and the weather pleasantly balmy, Hajime is just about ready to crack and get on his knees and beg for Tooru to speak to him again, pride be damned. When Hajime approaches his friend, he feels like he’s edging towards a carnivorous beast that could attack at any given moment, but he can’t help the powerful thrill of anticipation that shoots through him too.

“Tooru,” he says, breathless.

“Hajime,” Tooru responds, equally eager. It’s the first exchange they’ve had in four weeks.

“I-” Hajime starts. This is it, the moment that he’ll throw away his dignity forever.

“I’m sorry.” Tooru stares at the ground, shame-faced. His hands are balled into fists.

“It’s not my place to decide where you go to school or what you do in the future. Please accept my apology!” Tooru bows deep, and Hajime can’t help but laugh at the sour look on his face. Tooru looks up affronted.

“What!” he demands, rising up to his full height and attempting to use their two inch height difference to intimidate Hajime into submission.

“Your face,” Hajime chortles. “Is the greatest thing I’ve seen all week!” Tooru flushes red.

“Well, Iwa-chan,” he blusters, “I’ll have you know that I worked very hard to come to you and apologize, so the right thing for you to do is accept it!” Hajime grins as they step forward in unison.

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he says. And with a sudden note of seriousness, “I’m sorry too.” The corners of Tooru’s eye’s crinkle slightly as he smiles, and Hajime is aggressively brought back to a younger Tooru, one who had just won the best setter award in middle school. They take a step toward one another. They’re okay now.

First Kiss, Interlude

The first kiss they share after their fight isn’t at graduation. They are all too aware of the consequences that would come with their relationship becoming known, ever mindful of the attitudes and opinions directed towards people like them, especially in quiet Miyagi.

Their first kiss isn’t at graduation, but in Hajime’s room, after all the guests have left, congratulating the two boys on their achievements and “the bright futures ahead of them.” It’s quiet and soft and sweet.

It’s the perfect reunion.

Tooru’s grandma is right; they do have a bright future, and it’s right there, waiting just around the corner in Tokyo.

First Time

It’s not due to a lack of interest, but more so a lack of time, energy, and resources. But when Tooru magically procures a bottle of lube, and his parents are conveniently away on an anniversary trip, neither of them are about to say no to one another.

“Is it weird that we had sex while your parents are probably doing the same thing in some hotel room?” Hajime wonders aloud when they’re laying in bed after, sweating and sated.

“Maybe?” Tooru mumbles before he rolls over and flops on top of Hajime, effectively crushing him. “Whatever though.”

After a minute, he lifts his head.

“What really matters here is how we’re gonna do this again.” They leer at each other for a moment.

“We have all weekend,” Hajime points out. “What’re we waiting for?” Eventually, eventually , they flop down in bed and sleep like logs for fourteen consecutive hours.

First Separation, Interlude

The first semester apart from Tooru is painful, but Hajime knows it’s good for them. It’s the first time since they met that they’ve spent more than a week without seeing the other’s face.

He has heard his parents whispering at night, small murmurs of “is it healthy?” and a hushed “what are they going to do when they grow up?”

Hajime knows that he and Tooru lean on one another, perhaps too much. Their perfect trust , Tobio once called it.

But they manage. They skype every few days, and Hajime’s phone is constantly vibrating in his pockets.

The pain abates, becomes manageable. They grow-- not apart, never apart-- but they learn to be by themselves, to be independent. Hajime’s life is more quiet without Tooru being in his space constantly, and even if it feels like a guilty admission when he thinks it at night, the space is nice, the distance refreshing in a way that the separation brought by their fight wasn’t.

Hajime learns to cherish the time he does spend with Tooru, and during their second year of college when they move out of their dorms and into a tiny apartment together between their universities, he realizes that he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life with his best friend, his partner.

They tell some close friends, and when that goes better than expected, their parents. Hajime gets Okaasan and Oikawa-san’s blessing when the adults finally come around, and in their third year of university, just before he and Tooru are due to graduate, he proposes.

College is a time of change and growth for both of them, and when they leave-- with Hajime gearing up for medical school, and Tooru preparing himself for a position on the national team-- they leave hand in hand, aware that they both stand strong on their own, but knowing that they stand stronger, happier together.

First Kiss, Postlude

Hajime is happy that he’s getting married today, but he’s happier that the stress of planning Tooru’s dream wedding is over. Had it been up to him, they would have had a small ceremony with just close friends and family, but throwing Tooru’s plans into the mix had nearly tripled the size of the guest list before Hajime bullied him into lowering it down to about sixty people.

Nearly everyone they know has been invited, from Hajime’s closest acquaintances at the hospital where he is completing his residency, to every member of every volleyball team Tooru has played on since middle school.

And here they are, Hajime and Tooru, holding one another’s hands and staring sappily into each other’s eyes on the biggest day of their lives while they pretend not to see Makki weeping and dabbing his eyes while an unfortunate Tobio tries to hand him tissues.

And even though no government will recognize the ceremony that has taken place, as they slide rings onto one another’s fingers, husbands in practice if not paper, Hajime feels a surge of gratitude towards the people that have chosen to see them, to acknowledge what they have as something tangible and beautiful.

Hajime can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with his best friend, partner, and spouse.

First Day, Postlude

Unfortunately, they neither have the time nor the money to go on a two week honeymoon in Hawaii like they wish they could, but Hajime does use one of his precious sick days to spend their first day as husband and husband-- in bed apparently watching trashy television while they nurse matching champagne induced hangovers.

Is this what being a real grownup is supposed to feel like? Hajime wonders, and shares the thought with Tooru.

“Obviously not,” Tooru declares from the mound of blankets he’s buried beneath. “We’re still both sad little children who haven’t hit our primes yet.”

“Of course,” Mattsun says when he and the rest of Aoba Johsai show up at their apartment, they same one they’ve lived in since their second year of university and-- holy fuck why are they here -- drag them out to dinner. “Being an adult is all about drinking to cope and living in a constant state of exhaustion at the State of Things.” This, he says with some measure of authority, and the rest of the table follows in a chorus of agreement before they dig into their meals. Hajime and Tooru smile at each other and link their fingers under the table.

They crawl into bed together that night, bellies warm and wallets a little lighter, but they’re married, holy shit they’re married and could life possibly get any better than this?

First Fight, Postlude

But despite being Certified Mature Adults and Also Husbands, Hajime and Tooru are both stubborn bastards which is why what should have been a simple discussion about replacing their shitty second-hand couch has Hajime sleeping on said sofa with nothing but his pillow and a single, threadbare blanket while Tooru fumes in their room.

Lucky for Hajime, despite Tooru’s arguments about the history the couch has (X-files marathons and a few handjobs), they’re at Ikea within a week shopping around for a nice, new sofa that does not have questionable stains or strange lumps or an ugly pattern that blankets can only do so much to cover.

Tooru pouts the whole time.

First Hospital Visit, Interlude

When he helps Hajime hobble into the emergency room, all Tooru says is “I told you we didn’t need a new sofa.”

Who really wins the argument? Tooru and Hajime never manage to agree on an answer to this question, though eventually, Tooru does warm up to the new couch.

First Game, Interlude

It’s not their first game since getting married, but it’s the first one that Tooru will play with a ring around his finger for the whole world to see. The marriage certificate that they finally got is framed and hung in their kitchen. The ring catches the light when Tooru waves at the spectators, and the people that see turn to their companions and whisper.

When Tooru posts a photo of his and Hajime’s matching left hands and tags his husband, Hajime’s follower count doubles overnight, and they go viral.

Half of Tooru’s bucket list is checked off by this incident, from internet fame to being followed by paparazzi in the parking lot after practice for a week until a popular K-pop group comes to Tokyo and the photographers are too busy trying to follow them around to pay Tooru any mind, much to his disappointment and Hajime’s long-suffering relief.

“That was for halving my guest list at our wedding,” Tooru informs him later while they cuddle on their couch. Hajime never really grew out of punching Tooru in the arm when he says something especially stupid, and he does just that while Tooru whines dramatically and clutches his shoulder.

“I made you famous!” he gripes.

“You made seventy people try to slide into my DMs last week,” Hajime retorts. “You’re officially banned from complaining about the guest list anymore.”

First Hospital Visit, Postlude

Humans have many biological flaws, namely the process of aging. Tooru uses a cane to get around now, the knee injury from his youth exacerbated by a decade long career as a pro player. Hajime is practically blind now, and Tooru still won’t let go of the fact that his husband wears thicker glasses than him. But most of all, aging means a weakening body, or in Tooru’s case a cough that just won’t go away, despite his insistence that he’s “fine Hajime, stop nagging your husband. You’ll send me to an early grave!”

Hajime has to enlist the help of their daughter Chinami to drag his stubborn spouse to their doctor. Nakamura-sensei prescribes medication, and for a while, Tooru seems to improve before the infection (“pneumonia,” Nakamura-sensei tells them) returns with a vengeance.

After months of deterioration, Tooru moves into the inpatient care center. His health appears to take a step forward, and then several bounds back. For six months, Tooru’s body grows a little weaker every day, until Nakamura-sensei takes Hajime aside and tells him to bring Tooru home.

“I can’t stop aging, Iwazumi-san,” he says apologetically. “The best thing you can do as a family is to spend the coming months together and enjoy what time you have left.” For a moment, the crushing weight of what is about to happen bears down on Hajime like an especially tall blocker. He studies Nakamura-sensei for a moment and is sharply reminded of similar words he once spoke to a couple around his and Tooru’s age.

A woman whose husband lay sleeping on the hospital bed just inside of the room, whose eyes had filled with tears, whose shoulders had straightened with resolution.

Hajime remembers her and stands as tall as his aching bones will allow. He looks Nakamura-sensei in the eye. He shakes the doctor’s hand and says, “Thank you for caring for my husband.”

He sits down with Tooru and takes his hand.

He breaks down and sobs.

First Separation, Postlude

When the day comes and Tooru finally slips away, he is with Hajime and Chinami only, other friends visiting that morning filing out of the room after clasping his hand and murmuring a quiet goodbye. Hajime grips the hand of his husband of four decades, and Chinami holds the other. The three of them sit quietly together. It’s a beautiful May morning in Tokyo, Japan, with sunlight streaming in through the window, a gentle breeze brushing the blinds. Tooru smiles at his family.

His face is still handsome after all these years, but he looks tired and weak. Hajime squeezes. Tooru squeezes back.

“I love you,” he breathes. He shuts his eyes. The knell of the cuckoo clock in their little parlor hitting eleven masks his exhale and the wheeze that rattles deep in his chest. Outside the window, Tooru’s wind chimes toll softly. Hajime kisses his forehead.

“I love you too,” he confides in return. On the other side of the daybed, Chinami begins to weep softly, and a wave of grief crashes over Hajime as well. He heaves himself to his feet and gathers his daughter into his arms, rocking her back and forth and remembering when he and Tooru took turns doing this when she had a bad dream.

The weight of their loss pools in his gut and wraps itself around his weak heart and squeezes. When Chinami cries herself out, he rubs one last soothing hand over her back and stands to give his friends the news. He pauses to look out the window.

It’s a beautiful morning in Tokyo, Japan. The sun is bright; the breeze is warm. Hajime wonders if it’ll even hit twenty-five degrees today. This is Tooru’s favorite weather, and a year ago, they would have been packing a basket for a picnic at the park a block from their house. Maybe he and Chinami could do that sometime. Tooru would be disappointed if they didn’t.

First Day, Postlude

The funeral is quiet. Tooru’s desire for large company mellowed out with age, and the guest list he had procured was small. Just close friends and family-- Chinami and her fiance, Takeru, Mattsun and Makki, a few others. There is no body to bury, Tooru having elected to donate his body to science. They eat a quiet lunch together and reminisce, as they tend to do the more they age, and then they all go for a walk in the park together to enjoy the weather.

The ache in Hajime’s heart doesn’t lessen, but in the company of his friends and family, it becomes more bearable. He leans on Chinami’s arm as he begins to wear out, and they retire back to Hajime’s living room for a bit of sake before filing out. Before she leaves, Chinami wraps her arms around Hajime’s shoulders and squeezes. Neither of them fight the tears that build up behind their eyes.

“I’ll be back tomorrow to help you go through everything,” she whispers. “I love you, Dad.” Hajime steps back and cups her cheeks in his hands.

“You’re so big and grown up,” he whispers fondly. “Goodnight, Chinami.”

When the door closes and Hajime is finally alone, he trudges up the stairs and crawls into the cold bed. The weight of his loss pools in his gut. It wraps itself around his weak heart and squeezes. Hajime curls up as much as his aching back and creaking joints allow, and he cries alone until he sleeps.

Last Day

It’s a beautiful day in Tokyo. The sun beats down on the sidewalk in front of the little house in the suburbs of Japan’s capital city. It’s quiet now that it’s midday, neighbors seeking shelter from the sweltering July heat indoors, windows open and fans roaring.

Hajime is reclined on the daybed, surrounded by Chinami and her husband and his two grandchildren. A bead of sweat trickles down his temple, but he is too drowsy to wipe it away. Riku, the younger of the two, looks a little weepy, and Hajime mourns for the family he will leave behind shortly. He wants to say something, but he’s so very tired, and the cicadas are singing outside and he couldn’t bear breaking the peace they have now. It’s been twenty years since he saw Tooru’s face, and two since he outlived the last of his and Tooru’s teammates. He blinks once, twice, and then his eyes open wide.

The lethargy is gone from his limbs, and he clambers out of bed, stumbling to grab Tooru’s shoulders and drag him into an embrace.

“Finally,” he breathes. Tooru smiles. He looks younger now, like he’s around the age that he stopped playing volleyball and became a commentator, laugh lines just beginning to form around his eyes. Hajime looks down at his hands, no longer worn with age, and then at his earthly body, still lying on the bed. Tooru takes his hand.

“It’s a beautiful day,” he says. “Let’s go for a walk.”