Hmmm, where to start? I suppose with the box is as good a place as any. It's a very nice packing box. I counted a total of 6 sides, which just happens to be the exact amount of sides I prefer on a box, so we're off to a great start. Another detail that I noticed immediately is that the box was packed with the appropriate side up. It's a very nice job, but come on now, nobody likes a show off. Now, I could go on and on about the box, and perhaps someday I will, but for now, I think I should focus on the other items I received (Don't get too excited though, it's not an easy box to beat). Upon opening the fantastic box, I immediately noticed an excellent plastic bag used for packing. Unfortunately, I rushed that into safe keeping before I had the chance to take a picture, so you'll have to take my word for it, it's a nice piece of packing. After catching my breath, I instantly lost it again when I noticed a practically unused piece of paper. I mean, it had been printed on one side and was folded once, but the possibilities are damn near endless. I could use it for scribbling notes, numbers, drawings...whatever I can imagine. This has got to be the best piece of paper I've received in weeks and I'm not exaggerating at all.

OK, now to the real gifts.

As mentioned above, a note/letter was included that explained the gifts. The humor present had me smiling throughout reading it. I will not actually be reusing the paper for anything, but instead will keep it with my other holiday cards for safe keeping. Next I'll move onto the delicious snacks, but first I need to make something clear. I'm a weak man with little self control. If I see something that I want and the only thing keeping me from it is myself needing to take a picture of that same thing...well, let's just say that there's not a shutter speed fast enough. I don't think I've heard of and I know that I've never tried TastyKake's snacks before receiving these. I've since filed that under mistake and have started looking into apartments in the city that my secret santa resides in. My life be can be damned if it means easy access to Jelly Krimpets. I don't mean to downplay the tastiness of the Peanut Butter Kandy Kakes, they are fantastic as well, but wow are the Jelly Krimpets good. They aren't overloaded with jelly like most jelly filled snacks are, they're just right. And let me tell you about the box they came in, oh boy. First off....no...no, I told myself I wouldn't. Moving on, we have a dvd inside of a dvd b̶o̶x̶ case. The dvd is a movie I have somehow managed to not yet watch. The movie is Adaptation. Adaptation stars Nicholas Cage. I've been told Nicholas Cage plays two roles in this movie. Let's Math real quick:... DVD - Case = Movie | Movie = Adaptation | Adaptation = Nicholas Cage x 2 | Nicholas Cage x 2 = ∞excellence ...therefore the dvd without the case is infinite excellence...imagine if it were included in the equation. Now, imagine a box of popcorn added to that...I'll wait for you to recover........... .... .... OK, good. next up is another movie related gift. Unfortunately, my secret santa left too much trust in my hands and gave me a gift card. I'm sure you did so with the best intentions, but I probably should have warned you that if you did make this mistake, you'd certainly be contributing to the profits of the new Justin Bieber movie. I know it's wrong, but...I've got a fever, and the only prescription...is more Bieber. Following that, I received a̶ ̶v̶e̶r̶y̶ ̶n̶i̶c̶e̶ ̶s̶̶̶n̶̶̶o̶̶̶t̶̶̶-̶̶̶r̶̶̶a̶̶̶g̶̶̶, what I immediately knew to be an Asheville Brewing Promotional Flag with an awesome Skull Design on it. This will certainly never be used during an act of criminal mischief...certainly, definitely not.

The not too distant future... (My son) - "Dad, when did you know you'd be king of the universe?" (Me) - "Well, son...sometimes things just happen. Maybe you inherit a fortune, maybe you take the throne with force...or maybe, just maybe, you receive a call. Not a literal call, mind you, but a purpose." (Son) - "Well, when did you get the purpose?" (Me) - "It all started with a Stein..." This is that stein.

Finally, without any joking, easily the best of the bunch. An excellent homemade hat. It fits very well, is as warm as can be and and simply looks fantastic. I absolutely love it and will use the hell out of it.

Thank you very, very much Santas. Without exaggeration, these are the best gifts I've received all year, with the hat being THE best in many years. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!