The other day, I got an email from friend I have had since I was a child asking for money for a cause they are involved in. We do not talk that often; maybe once every few months and generally about nothing all that important. But recently, his child was diagnosed with autism (at 3 years old) and they have gotten involved with Autism Speaks, the organization that works with families dealing with autism. And right now they have a fundraiser going on and they asked me to donate some money to their fundraising account. Of course I did, but it got me thinking about the etiquette of asking friends, family and co-workers for donations to causes that you are involved in.

When you ask someone you know for money for a cause close to your family, that person has to give the money asked for, right? How would you possibly get away with not donating to a cause your friend or family member is involved in? I think it would be impossible. I am not saying that you SHOULD want to get out of it; but rather that you don’t really even have a choice. Do you? Am I missing something?

Seems I am not the only one thinking about this, as I just came across an article over at Paid Twice where she wrote about school fundraisers and being asked to participate. While I would fully donate to any of my own child’s fundraisers (my wife is a teacher, believe me – they need the money badly), I am not sure I would donate to another child’s regular old public school.

My friend’s cause, autism, deals directly with their own kid – so I donated what I could at this point. But it did get me thinking about the etiquette of what you can ask for and what you shouldn’t ask for, and how people react to different situations. What do you guys think? Do you only give when it is directly related to a friend’s situation or your child’s school? Or do you give for any and all that come along? How do you decide?