"Oh Dahling... Let's go to Lamu Island instead and get captured by Somali pirates! They must be far, far, nicer and more interesting than anyone from Salford!"





On the up side... the two of them have seen a lot, if not most, of the world. They are tolerant of culture, religion and language. They are quiet and keep to themselves.





They're married (to each other - monogamously). Their son is 16 years' old and happy at home with his computer; and, before you get the social services involved, he's being cared for by the house sitter. They have a spoiled cat called Mademoiselle Stella Artois. She too, is being looked after by the house sitter. You can stand the RSPCA down.





They are not interested in how much money you've made, or what car you drive, where you live, what you "do", whose clothes you wear or when you were married. They do not go on holiday to become best mates with Theo and Hillary so that they can exchange Christmas cards; or join them in an obscure provincial Swingers' Circle.





Most importantly, this is a holiday that they are both looking forward to. The two of them have no expectations. Every day is an adventure. They are looking to de-stress in the sun for a couple of weeks. And, as this is the first time that they have visited the Maldives, or been on one of those terribly declassé all-inclusive holidays, this blog should be very enlightening to anyone wishing to visit Meedhupparu to do the same.

This is an arguable point.