It’s time once again for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s check out some new releases!

Itzy – Dalla Dalla

Well, when Twice started they weren’t all that great either, so let’s just forgive them this awkward 2NE1-lite and see what happens down the track I guess.

Loco ft. Zion T. – It’s Been A While

It’s been a while since Zion T. was in anything good. In fact was he ever in anything good ever? I can’t remember. At least Loco did a song with Hyomin once.

ONF – We Must Love

Don’t get too excited, it’s not another “Complete“. It’s okay though.

Jisook – The Way We Were

Even though this song really isn’t my style it’s good to see Raina back again. What do you mean this isn’t Raina? I don’t believe anything about this until I see a doctor’s certificate.

Deepshower ft. Min – Marathon

Tedious techno crap. No wonder we haven’t heard anything from her in a while if this is what JYP was refusing to let through quality control.

Kim Hyun Joong – Why

I like how the subtitles are in French. It’s the language of love! Hey, what’s French for “I’ll attack your butthole today”?

JYP – This Small Hand

This fucking creeps me out. To you it might seem “heartfelt” or whatever but all I see here is another cult recruit.

Yesung – Because I Love You

Fuck the song, it’s the usual generic ballad shit that you’ve all heard before a million times and are now sick of – but who is the girl in this? She definitely meets required standards.

Pierce – Shadow

Usually “kids k-pop” is super cringe, and I guess this is too, but it’s actually also a reasonably good song.

CoCo – TalkTalk

…and this one is also not too bad. This week I guess is the week where the kids all kick the adults’ asses.

MJ Sunnyside ft. Han Hyeri – Good Night

If fully-grown adults insist on making music like this it’s no wonder they get so easily upstaged by a bunch of rugrats.

6band – Just Memories

Some one-take videos are less impressive than others.

Jero – Judge

I judge that this is shit, case dismissed.

Hanhae – Flashback

Jazz trap. Now that’s a fusion nobody needed or asked for.

Lafee – Hello

Just because you’ve got apples in your video doesn’t mean you’re Loona.

CHS – Seoulmong

What’s worse than listening to four minutes of boring smooth instrumental? Listening to ten minutes of boring smooth instrumental.

Koyote – Fact

Crappy 20-year old idol pop doesn’t actually sound that bad once you remove the dreadful production.

BORING J-SHITS SECTION

IZ*ONE – Gokigen Sayonara

It sucks for me that IZ*ONE exist because it kind of feels like writing about j-pop.

IZ*ONE – Neko Ni Naritai

Anyway la de da let’s just move on.

Snuper – Weekend Secret

It’s actually better than their last few songs for the Korean market. How sad that it’s come to this for Snuper.

FTIsland – God Bless You

Sure it rocks, but I would never accept this type of half-assed emo rock from any western group so I’m not going to accept it here.

N.Flying – Stand By Me

N.Flying’s half-baked emo rock is better than FTIsland’s due to some decent keyboard action.

BONUS RANDOM VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

Longest k-pop girl group/boy group days since last comeback

Elite caonima YouTuber isaymyeolchigr returns with more quality content! Shed a tear for the winners.

That’s all for this week’s roundup – more next week!