A veteran's guide to spring training in Arizona Savvy veteran of spring training tells you how to maximize hits, avoid errors

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This document was not supposed to go public.

I was ready to stamp a wax seal and transport it to a safe-deposit box, enclosed with two copies of Billy Joel's "Glass Houses" and a thousand dollars in crisp $1 bills. In the event of my untimely demise, each of my two sons would get a key to the box, and would have to turn them simultaneously to gain access, like a nuclear launch.

After several conversations with Chronicle Travel editor Spud Hilton, I'm now convinced that the public good outweighs my personal interests. So here you are: My checklist of spring training instructions, based on a decade of experience attending Cactus League baseball games. Read these valuable tips quickly before I change my mind ...

I tend to hop around - the two college buddies I travel with are Padres and Dodgers fans - but attend at least one game in Scottsdale per year, and will keep this Giants-centric.

It's OK to drink beer on an early morning flight: The flight attendant won't even flinch. And nothing sets the vacation tone like a Coors at 7:15 a.m.

If you're on a tight schedule, choose Oakland: We've flown out of San Francisco International and Oakland International airports, and have missed parts of games because of SFO flight delays. If you're planning to watch baseball on the day you arrive, Oakland is a safer bet.

Splurge on the convertible: Even if it means cutting back in a dozen other places, spend extra to get a convertible sedan. We used to swear by the Chrysler Sebring, both for its roominess and clean lines for Rental Car Convertible Football. (See side story.) The Sebring ceased production in 2010.

Pack light: For a trip of five days or less in a warm-weather location, there's no need to waste an hour or more of your vacation screwing with baggage claim. Leave the video game console, hair products, hardback novels, waffle iron and sports equipment at home. Spring training baseball and Rental Car Convertible Football should provide all the entertainment you need.

Things to bring with you: Small bills, a framed photo of your significant other (to place on the hotel bedside table as a reminder not to go into strip club VIP rooms) and linen pants.

Things to buy as soon as you arrive: Sunscreen, a multipurpose tool and a Nerf football.

About the linen pants ... I have a pair of black linen pants that I wear only at spring training. They pack light, breathe well in the hot weather and don't need to be ironed. Linen pants and a pair of tracksuit bottoms (for sleeping and working out) is all you need in the long pants department. If you have to bring a pair of jeans, wear them on the plane.

Wear your team hat everywhere: The worries that come with wearing Giants or A's gear in an opposing stadium don't apply in Cactus League ballparks. If anything, fans of other teams will see it as a conversation starter. Everyone is on vacation, people are loose, and traditional rivalries are relaxed. I've never seen a fight break out during spring training.

Fear "The Ocho": If you run into a man who calls himself "The Ocho" at a local bar (probably at McDuffy's), do the following: Buy him one drink and laugh at all his jokes. At the earliest opportunity make an excuse to go to the bathroom, climb out the window and sprint in the opposite direction of the bar as fast as you can.

Look at concert schedules: Pay special attention to bands and comedians playing at the concert halls, clubs and casinos. Go with a guilty pleasure you wouldn't normally see. (Mötley Crüe and Bob Saget were two of our more memorable finds in the past.)

If you run into a three-piece Black Sabbath cover band ... that bills itself as "Black Steppchild," by all means enjoy the show. It's worth every penny of the $3 cover charge. But do not reward their efforts with three shots of top-shelf bourbon. They won't know the difference.

Prepare to spend for Giants tickets: A decade ago, everything about spring training was a bargain. Food and non-baseball entertainment are still cheap. But flights, hotels and especially Giants tickets have reached startling prices, to the point where the cheapest Scottsdale Stadium seats (we paid $27.50 apiece this year for lawn seats on a Saturday Giants/A's game) can be more expensive than their counterparts at AT&T Park.

At Scottsdale Stadium, get good seats or sit on the lawn: The outfield bleacher seats at the Giants' park are historically lacking in legroom. The outfield field level seating is more spacious but the seats are angled toward the field, not home plate, which leads to excess neck craning.

The lawn has a fun party vibe. Arrive early and mark your spot with a couple of towels from the hotel pool.

Consider visiting other stadiums: It's hard to persuade a Giants or A's fan who has traveled 654 miles to go see the Milwaukee Brewers. But I would suggest at least one day at another stadium. Better yet if you can catch the Giants on the road. My three favorites are Maryvale (Brewers), Surprise (Rangers, Royals) and Peoria (Padres, Mariners).

The newer stadiums (Dodgers/White Sox in Glendale; Rockies/Diamondbacks in Talking Stick) are nice, but larger than most others, and lose some of the intimate vibe.

The George Will rule is in effect: Keep your eyes open for writer and pundit George Will. That dude is everywhere. He's like the pool sweep of the Cactus League, appearing randomly to watch different teams at different stadiums. Whoever in your group spots Will first gets to drink free for the rest of the trip.

One great meal is better than three good ones: The best meals I've eaten in Scottsdale are in the $50-plus range or $12 or less. We save for one or two steak house dinners (BLT Steak on East Lincoln Drive in Scottsdale is our current favorite) and look for bargains the rest of the trip.

In my experience ... nothing good happens in an Arizona Jack in the Box after 10:30 p.m.

The Scottsdale/Tempe lodging quandary: Scottsdale Stadium is near downtown Scottsdale. Tempe is a few miles away. If you're under 25 or between 40 and 59, I would highly recommend staying in Tempe. If you're 25-39 or over 60, stay in Scottsdale.

Why? Tempe is a college community, and thus is designed to appeal to students and their parents. Scottsdale better serves post-grads with a lot of disposable income, and older men who want to go to Don & Charlie's in hopes of running into Bob Uecker.

Schedule with March Madness in mind: Spring Training is perfectly situated during the NCAA Men's Basketball tournament, which lasts from March 13 to April 2. We try to schedule our trip for the first weekend of March Madness when the games are most plentiful.

Camp out in a local bar after baseball, watch your favorite team, and enjoy the fact that your tab is going to be 40 percent less than a comparable bar in the Bay Area.

Hotels on a budget: We've been staying at the Tempe Mission Palms for the past six years, paying just under $200 per night. If you need to save money, I recommend one of the bigger hotels closer to the Phoenix airport. We had a good experience for years at SpringHill Suites, which has the benefit of an enormous parking lot for Rental Car Convertible Football.

Go by the 4-1 rule: For every four days you go to spring training, take one day off with no games. Preferably a Saturday when the stadiums are most crowded.

Discover the Zia Records bargain bin: Within 24 hours of arriving, go to the nearest Zia Record Exchange (in Phoenix, Tempe and Chandler) and pick at least four albums for the trip out of the bargain bin. Pick albums you would never admit to enjoying to your snobby California friends. (Last year we got Billy Joel's "Storm Front" and at least one REO Speedwagon album.) Blast them from your convertible.

Work spring training into your wedding vows: I have a lot of friends who have lost spring training trips due to marriage, babies, etc. Think ahead and work the spring training trip into your vows. ("To have and to hold ... To continue flying into Phoenix during the third weekend in March ...") That way it's God's will.

Observe the spring training pregnancy rule: It's OK to leave your pregnant spouse behind up until six weeks into the third trimester - although we recommend someone stays sober and ready for a quick drive to the airport.

-- For an explanation of "The Ocho," look for our "Where have you been 86ed from?" post in The Big Event blog at SFGate.com later this week.

How to play Rental Car Convertible Football The origins: We were throwing a Nerf football around near our convertible during a spring training visit. A stray ball flew in the car and a game developed. Basic rules: Rental Car Convertible Football plays like the basketball game H-O-R-S-E, with the car interior acting as a hoop. Players throw a Nerf from various distances (and over/under objects such as trees and power lines) in an attempt to land the Nerf in a convertible with the top down. If they make the throw and the next person in the rotation misses, the player who misses adds a letter. Players who miss five times, spelling HORSE, are out of the game. If the ball lands in or on the car, that's considered a "make." If the ball ends up on the ground outside or under the car - whether it misses or bounces out - that player loses his turn or adds a letter. The Hail Mary rule: If a player is close to losing, he may want to try the Hail Mary rule. Any player who throws the ball from a distance of greater than two car lengths, and manages to honk the car's horn or turn off the radio, automatically wins that game. Your rental car deposit: We've never damaged a car, although that's by no means a guarantee. Your results may vary. - Peter Hartlaub