I think from now on I will post the news that Steam is not having a sale. Should I manage to type quickly enough during one of those gaps. But for today, the Steam Holiday Sale has begun, and it’s… baffling.

Of course it means lots of games are going to be at those mega-profits-creating teeny prices (imagine if the industry got to grips with that!), a different selection every day from now until January 1st. But alongside that, there’s The Great Gift Pile page, which will be setting objectives for things to be completed in those games. Oh my.

Completing objectives will win you either a gift, or a lump of coal. Which will appear in your Steam Inventory. Gifts will either be full games, or coupons toward them, while coal can be – of course – crafted into gifts. Seven coals = one gift. Which is to say, buy or previously own seven games, and complete objectives within them, and then you can have one gift. And of course you can trade both gifts and coal amongst your chums, or even give them away to friends and strangers. And finally, a lump of coal can be saved, which gets you access to the “Epic Holiday Giveaway” on January 2nd. There are also gifts just for fiddling about with the gift system, although right now the site is falling to pieces for me, and none of it’s working.

Oh blimey, who knew a sale could be this complicated! Fortunately, just buying cheap stuff is as simple as ever, and you don’t need to worry yourself with all this extravagance. For instance, today you could pick yourself up Just Cause 2 for £3.50, or Orcs Must Die for £3. Or how about the brilliant Amnesia: Dark Descent for £3.24?