Teaching your tween mindfulness

Practising mindfulness meditation is

something I have done to cope with

everyday stress for the past four years.

Relationship troubles, work pressures

and oppressive inner dialogue can all

contribute to adult stress. However,

stress isn’t reserved for adults.

The science of child development

shows that excessive stress could

lead to lifelong issues with learning,

behaviour and overall health. Though

most children deal well with stress,

others find coping more difficult.

Finding healthy ways to manage

stress can help children maneuver

through challenging times.

Roy Hintsa, a Toronto area

mindfulness-based stress reduction

facilitator, says mindfulness allows

children to manage stress by creating

a pause between the stimulus and

the reaction. This gives them the

opportunity to choose to respond

thoughtfully rather than react

impulsively. “Mindfulness promotes

well-being,” he says. “Children become

happier and kinder. They get in touch

with their emotions and learn to

regulate them.”

The simplest tool we have for

mindfulness is observing our breath.

Roy says not to change your breathing

pattern. First, focus on feeling the cool

air when you inhale and the warm air

when you exhale. Then count your

breaths in pairs: Inhale, exhale, one.

Inhale, exhale, two, and so on for five

counts. If your mind wanders, note

what you were thinking about and

return to counting your breaths.

Mindfulness in schools

Much of Roy’s experience with

teaching mindfulness to children

is in a school setting. Children are

confronted with stress from many

areas. Most often, that stress comes

from worrying about academic

performance. “Even from an early

age,” says Roy, “this can cause many

youngsters to feel stressed out.”

Not only can students experience

anxiety related to academic pressures,

they can also come to school with

a host of stressors stemming from

problems in the home, social conflict

and physical or mental vulnerabilities.

“There is also the pressure of being

accepted,” says Roy. “Mindfulness

helps children to be kinder to

themselves and this extends to

others.”

Mindfulness can also help

improve children’s attention, focus

and memory, Roy says. These are all

important factors for learning.

Roy recommends children take

three mindful breaths to help relieve

anxiety before doing homework, tests

and participating in competitions.

The goal is to teach children to focus

in simple ways. “It’s really about

focusing,” he says.

One exercise Roy does with

students begins with sitting in a chair.

Kids are asked to concentrate on their

breathing while their classmates

walk around and try to distract them.

“The child’s job is to really try to stay

concentrated in spite of all this noise

that’s going on around them.”

Get the whole family involved

Roy says parents must themselves be

mindful in order to create a mindful

family.

“Children will come to mindfulness

at their own time and pace,” he says.

“If parents are mindful, and I don’t

mean just modelling mindfulness, but

embodying mindfulness, they may

come to it earlier.”

The key is to be fully present when

interacting with your family, says Roy.

Here are some ways he says you can

do that:

Just before leaving for school in the

morning, before opening the front

door, stand together and take three

mindful breaths.

morning, before opening the front door, stand together and take three mindful breaths. You can also take three mindful

breaths as a family before eating and

try to begin the meal mindfully.

breaths as a family before eating and try to begin the meal mindfully. Go for a walk with your child and

pay attention to what you both notice

around you, what you see, hear, smell

and touch.

pay attention to what you both notice around you, what you see, hear, smell and touch. Before bed, share something that

you are grateful for that happened

that day – something that made you

happy. Have your child do the same.

Then continue with some mindful

breathing!

Mindfulness exercises for younger siblings

Children can be

introduced to

the principles of

mindfulness from a

young age, says Roy

Hintsa, a Toronto

area stress reduction

facilitator. Children of

all ages can benefit

from different styles

of training. Younger

children tend to

respond more to

physical activities

rather than practising

meditation. Here

are some exercises

Roy recommends for

preschool children:

Mindful listening: Tell

your child you are going

to ring a bell or a tone

bar. Ask them to listen

carefully to the sound of

the bell and raise their

hands when they can no

longer hear it.

Breath awareness: Have your child lie down

on a mat on the floor, or

on their bed, and place

their favourite stuffed

animal on their belly. Have

them rock the stuffed

animal to sleep with the

movement of their belly as

they breathe in and out.

This is how they can begin

to pay attention to their

breathing.

Mindful eating: This is

a time when playing with

your food is OK. Give your

child a piece of fruit and

ask them to pretend they

are from another planet

and have never seen this

piece of fruit before. Ask

them to describe their

experience using all five

senses. What does it look

like? Smell like? Feel like?

Taste like? Does it make a

sound when you bite it?



Originally published in ParentsCanada magazine, May/June 2013.

