The young man’s “outing” did not only create problems at home and church but at school, too. To the other students, he had always been “out there,” but until he made no secret about being gay, they were able to overlook his flamboyant ways and embraced him as a friend. One of his long time girl friends who he has gone to church and school with all his life said, “I don’t know how to handle it when he is telling me how ‘hot’ some guy is and how he wonders if the guy is gay. It freaks me out.” She said he seems to want to sleep with every good-looking boy in the school. I told her to continue being his friend. I also asked her what she would say to a girlfriend who appeared to be promiscuous. She said, “I would tell her that she needed to get her mind out of the gutter.” The girl is his true friend and is having a hard time dealing with some of his words and actions, but I told her to be patient, to love him, and to be honest with him. She needs to tell him when she thinks he is going too far with some of his comments. She said she knew that is what she needed to do, but sometimes she got so frustrated and was afraid he would feel she was judging him. He is young and needs to learn what is appropriate and what is inappropriate, just like all of us must learn at some point in our lives. Treating him “different” in a negative or pseudo-positive way will not help him. It will more than likely cause him to rebel and be promiscuous rather than try to understand this intimate part of his self.





He also has other friends who he has been raised with and who have now turned their backs on him. One girl said, “He has made his choice, and he needs to change back.” She is not willing to see any other side in his case. She doesn’t realize he is having a hard time too and needs his lifelong friends to remain with him. I asked her what Jesus would do. Maybe a cliché question now but relevant. She stumbled over this question. She finally said she would try to be a good friend to him and “pray for his situation.” Her answer implies she will not accept him as a friend if he continues “choosing” homosexuality. If he doesn’t make the changes, she will “wipe the dust” from her feet and walk away from him without a second glance back. She believes she is handling this in the Christian way, but she is judging and not putting much more thought into the true nature of the Christian way. I disagree with those who make themselves judge and juror, and I believe Jesus would too – He disagreed with the Pharisees. As a teacher and leader in my church, I feel I must pass on what I believe to be the heart of Christ, which is love, patience, and tolerance.