Larry Scott-Walker and Daniel Driffin can rattle off the date they tested positive for HIV as easily as their birthdays. So can Alfonso Mills.

In fact, so can most of the 1,000-odd members of the group they run in Atlanta to help gay men living with the virus. But they do not simply remember the date – they celebrate it.

In an act of empowerment that may initially make little sense to an outsider, many choose to mark the day that altered their lives with reflection and festivity. In the same way many in the LGBT+ community reclaimed the power of slurs such as “queer,” so too have these men taken control of the day that a generation ago would have meant something much darker.

They mark their so-called “seroversaries” in different ways – a drink with friends, or a quiet dinner. A woman they know in New Orleans is this year marking her 25th seroversary with a blow-out bash for more than 100 guests.

The name seroversarsy takes its inspiration from several words that have their root in “sero”, which refers to blood serum. Serology is the scientific study of such serum, while the medical and HIV communities use the word serostatus in relation to whether someone is positive or negative.

“Once you’re a person living with HIV, no amount of shame is going to change it, so celebrate it,” says Scott-Walker, 39, one of the group’s three co-founders and the man credited with inventing the word. “Celebrate the way your life has changed since you were tested. I go to the doctor more than ever. A lot of amazing things have happened to me since I admitted I had HIV.”

Mills, 27, the group’s story telling project manager, added: “Mentally, it is so important. It’s a complete change in life. By calling it a seroversary, I focus on the point my life changed.”

The three men – gay, black and living with the HIV virus – are members of Transforming HIV Resentment into Victories Everlasting Support Services, or Thrive SS. It is one of the organisations supported by the Elton John AIDS Foundation, which The Independent and Evening Standard are raising money for this Christmas.

Sir Elton and Evgeny Lebedev, the owner of the newspapers, recently heard from groups such as Thrive after travelling to Atlanta, the Georgia city often touted as the shining example of the so-called new south, but which has HIV infection rates comparable to a number of cities in southern Africa.

Elton John launches The Independent's AIDSfree campaign

In the US today, a gay black man has a 50 per cent chance of being diagnosed as HIV positive. In Atlanta, the figure is closer to 60 per cent. Racism, homophobia, poverty and lack of education about HIV are all contributory factors.

Scott-Walker (whose seroversary is 5 June, 2007) says the group, which also has chapters in Washington DC, Oakland, California and Charleston in South Carolina, said Thrive SS was different to many other groups working in the field.

Firstly, the members placed their own experiences – of being gay, black men living in the south and living with HIV – at the heart of the organisation. By doing this, they “prioritise the experiences of our community”. Secondly, they offer 24/7 online support, unlike many government-supported groups that shut up shop at 5pm.

Daniel Driffin, Larry Scott-Walker and Alfonso Mills’ group stresses authenticity and flexibility (Andrew Buncombe)

Then, there is the twist that they allow alcohol at their meetings – the third co-founder, Dwain Bridges, describes the atmosphere as being “like a fraternity”. Core aims of the meetings are flexibility and authenticity.

Driffin (19 June, 2008) said the decision to take control of the day they tested positive was because for many, the experience was utterly traumatic. Staff can come across as unsympathetic – in that intense, vulnerable moment, many people feel they are being blamed for what happened.

Driffin, one of the co-founders, said when he was tested, a nurse pushed a piece of paper across the table to him, saying: “You know what that means.”

He said he refused to show any emotion in front of the nurse and walked out and telephoned a close university friend. It turned out she had just learned she was pregnant – something she was not expecting. “I said, ‘I’ve got one on you – I just found out I have HIV’.”

While he was able to share the news with his closest friends, Driffin felt unable to tell his mother for five years. She found out by accident when he posted a public Facebook message that he thought was in a private group. When he saw her three days later, his mother Jeanine offered her support and love. “She said: ‘Why did you not tell me before, so that I could have helped’?”

Independent campaign with the Elton John AIDS Foundation Show all 10 1 /10 Independent campaign with the Elton John AIDS Foundation Independent campaign with the Elton John AIDS Foundation Sir Elton John and Evgeny Lebedev The Independent has launched it's Christmas charity appeal for essential HIV testing around the world with the Elton John AIDS Foundation. Funds raised will pay for those at risk to be able to get tested, and will make sure they have access to the treatment they need. Sir Elton John and Evgeny Lebedev with their HIV test swabs at the Ponce Centre in Atlanta Jeremy Selwyn Independent campaign with the Elton John AIDS Foundation Elton John and Andrew Williams Andrew Williams had never heard of the word HIV when he tested positive. It was his mother who had forced him to go to the doctor where he got the diagnosis that he thought was a death sentence. At that time he was in a wheelchair. It was the unbearable itching of his back that finally got him to get medical help but, he discovered, he not only had HIV but diabetes, high blood pressure and kidney disease. That was two years ago. This week, as the 31-year-old joined Sir Elton John and Evening Standard and The Independent owner Evgeny Lebedev in Atlanta to witness the revolutionary new breakthroughs against the disease at the city’s Grady Ponce De Leon Centre, there was no need for a wheelchair. Nor, he now knew, was there any need for fear Jeremy Selwyn Independent campaign with the Elton John AIDS Foundation Evgeny Lebedev and Andrew Williams Within two months of starting the latest antiretroviral drugs, the virus in his body had become undetectable in his blood. Not only is he now healthy, partly due to the drugs and partly due to the healthy lifestyle adopted for his other illnesses, but he can virtually not pass the infection to other people. He feels, he says, “reborn”. “I have a reason to live,” he explained, “and that is to help people who were like me – and to show you’re going to be OK.” Jeremy Selwyn Independent campaign with the Elton John AIDS Foundation It was a message so stark in its optimism that it reduced Sir Elton to tears. He knows first-hand the realities of what, in the past, an HIV diagnosis can mean. When he started his Elton John AIDS Foundation in the US in 1992, it was because his friends were dying and he wanted to do what he could, anything that he could, to help. “When we set up the Elton John AIDS Foundation we were delivering meals to people’s doors,” he said. “[The stigma meant] they would not go outside. We have come a long way.” Jeremy Selwyn Independent campaign with the Elton John AIDS Foundation But part of the reason for his tears was not only happiness at Andrew’s story. It was also the knowledge that, despite all the advances that have been made, the fight is far from won – indeed, in some parts of the world, things are getting worse. Sir Elton John with everyone at the Ponce Centre in Atlanta Jeremy Selwyn Independent campaign with the Elton John AIDS Foundation It is why he and Mr Lebedev had come to Atlanta to mark the first day of our Christmas Appeal, for that city, sadly, is one place where the situation is not only getting worse but, as those at the centre made clear, dramatically so. Jeremy Selwyn Independent campaign with the Elton John AIDS Foundation Sir Elton John with Vic Mensa at the Ponce Centre Jeremy Selwyn Independent campaign with the Elton John AIDS Foundation Sir Elton John with his HIV test swab In Atlanta, one of America’s richest cities and the home of such international corporate giants as Coca-Cola and CNN, if you are a gay black man in 2018 then, unbelievably, you still have a one in two chance of being diagnosed as HIV positive during your lifetime. Jeremy Selwyn Independent campaign with the Elton John AIDS Foundation Elton John with the mayor of Atlanta, Keisha Lance Bottoms Jeremy Selwyn Independent campaign with the Elton John AIDS Foundation Elton John talks at the Ponce Centre Jeremy Selwyn

Scott-Walker said his husband Derrick had been told by the doctor: “I thought we had talked about this”, the inference being – whether the doctor intended it to be or not – that he had somehow done something wrong.

Miller (15 September, 2012) got tested by himself. The nurse told him the results had come back positive. He managed to limit his emotions in the clinic to a single tear, before heading outside, feeling stunned. To try to pretend it was just like any other day, he bought a pet turtle. “I just did not want to think about it,” he said.

The group believes that by focusing on the experiences of the people they are trying to help, they can provide an essential network of support.

Two years ago, Driffin was invited to speak at a Democrat national convention in Philadelphia.

“I’m living with HIV, and so many others are,” he told the audience. “Who is most at risk? Young, gay black men. Men like me. In fact, one in two black gay men will be diagnosed in their lifetime if the current rates continue. I’m sure black transgender women are more at risk, too.”

He said to beat the disease, it was essential to to ensure “the meaningful involvement of young gay black men at every level”.

“So what do we do to fight HIV/Aids today?” he challenged the crowd.