“Looks like you stagnated there a little bit, buddy.”

My brother is nearly two years older than me, but due to his summer birthday we were only a grade apart in school. My sister is exactly two years and eight days younger than me. One of the many things you get as a middle child, particularly when the ages are so close together, is a sense of innate value in being slightly older.

There have been several moments in my post-high school life when, for various reasons, I’ve assumed that certain peers were older than me. Whenever I learn that these age impostors are actually younger, it rocks me to my core. I just have this semi-conscious deference to people who are a little bit older, and I swear my internal reaction to learning that I’m the older one is always “Well then why the hell was I respecting you so much?”

I acknowledge that this is absurd, especially because I don’t expect that kind of deference from my younger peers (this could be due to my sister’s low tolerance for my BS, I dunno). In practice, I’m not even consciously nicer to people I think are older; as far as I’m aware, it’s all in my head. But there’s still a tiny sense of rank that comes with age order that I’m not sure I’ll ever shake.



This is all to say that I’ve never related more deeply with Connie Maheswaran than I do in Steven’s Birthday.

I mentioned in my post on Nightmare Hospital how much I appreciate the specifics we get on this show, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we first learn Steven and Connie’s exact ages (as well as Greg’s age at the time of Story for Steven) in another Connie-centric episode. The Gems don’t care about specifics, because they live so long that everything just kind of goes together. But humans—especially the kids in the audience—care a lot about detail, and this is ultimately an episode about Steven’s humanity.

And yeah, it’s weird that Steven is 14. Or rather, that he was 12 and 13 for as long as we’ve known him; considering Steven’s Birthday is after the second Beach-a-Palooza we’ve seen on this show, I assume he had another birthday that we didn’t get to see. If this kid was going to school, this show would be taking place from seventh through ninth grade. Yikes!

But this reaction is the point. We’re meant to be shocked. 14-year-olds tend not to act like Steven, for better (they tend to be savvier) and for worse (they tend to be terrified of earnestness and hide their insecurities with attitude sassier). Despite the character development we’ve seen from Steven, he’s still firmly in kid mode. Part of that is the realities of a show with set character designs (cue the fandom complaints about inconsistent sizes*); note that he still doesn’t physically grow until the time jump. But in-universe, it also has to do with a continued mindset that he’s pursuing equal footing with the Crystal Gems. If his life is defined by pursuit, he’ll never actually reach the goal.

*In regard to character sizes: I see characters like I see language. If you say a word that’s slang or dialectal, and someone fluent in that slang or dialect immediately understands you, then that’s a word, regardless of what a dictionary says. If I look at a character I’m familiar with and immediately recognize that character, then that’s the character. Moreover, there are characters in Steven Universe who care as much about size as the fandom, and spoiler alert, they’re the villains.

As I’ve maintained since all the way back in Bubble Buddies, Connie is an agent of change. She’s Steven’s prompt to start growing up for real, and Steven’s Birthday has nice little nods to many of the ways they’ve developed together so far. They toast with durian juiceboxes, the same gross fruit drink that caused An Indirect Kiss. Greg offers Connie a ride home in the van, which is the bulk of Winter Forecast, and in that same ride Connie talks about the training with Pearl that began in Sworn to the Sword. There’s a big dancing scene a la Alone Together. Connie even broaches the possibility of skirting movie theater law, and despite retracting the suggestion, she was all about sneaking food in Lion 2: The Movie (her vision of Dogcopter in the stars is icing on that cookie cake).

After Nightmare Hospital’s friendship episode, we jump right back to romantic subtext here. I don’t know too many platonic friends who slow dance until one does a vintage foot pop, or who assume they’ll be married when one of them is president, or who just blush this much in general. It makes a ton of sense to go for this angle in an episode about getting older, but more importantly, awww.

This is the first time subtle relationship angst has been introduced to their dynamic: unlike Connie freaking out about Steven’s family in Fusion Cuisine or Steven trying to ice Connie out in Full Disclosure, the tension between these two spends the whole episode simmering but never surfaces in a big way. It just manifests in awkward discomfort, which does manage to convince me that Steven is 14 now. While they don’t dwell on it too much, Connie is clearly more attracted to Tall Steven than Regular Steven, and I think he knows it. If you’re not a young teen already, imagine being a young teen again and knowing you could make your crush like you, but it caused physical pain. Yeah, not too surprising Steven goes for it.

(If you’re younger than a young teen, get off Tumblr right this instant and read a book. Love, a children’s librarian.)

On top of looking taller, Zach Callison drops closer to his regular speaking voice to complete the illusion of Steven’s growth; like companion episode Too Many Birthdays, he gets to show off a vocal range that Steven usually doesn’t have. While Too Many Birthdays does show that Steven has some control over his age, and didn’t actually have to stretch it out here, I like the implication that despite wanting to look older for Connie, he still doesn’t feel older quite yet. And he gets a nifty (if unsubtle) lesson about being himself at the end when his mature decision to stop altering himself is rewarded with his first puny facial hair. (As someone whose father could grow a full beard in high school but who himself had nothing but peach fuzz until after college, I feel you, Steven.)

Lamar Abrams and Katie Mitroff thread the needle on Connie, who has to balance the role of being a good friend against being the root of Steven’s body issues. She easily could’ve delved into Fusion Cuisine levels of unsympathetic, but it’s clear that her feelings about Steven’s appearance stem more from concern than anything else. Yes, she does like his taller form, but she never intentionally pressures him to maintain it, and accepts his regular form without question. She even wants to hang out with his baby form! I wouldn’t have even minded if her worry manifested in getting a little upset with him, as this would be a natural reaction to Steven’s condition and Connie isn’t perfect, but she cares more about who Steven is than what he looks like, which is just the kind of friend/crush he needs.



Connie also gets a nice amount of bonding time with Greg, with an explicit reference to their roles as the most important human beings in Steven’s life that we got from We Need to Talk. I love how Greg’s doting fatherhood is something that Steven is probably still super into, but is only embarrassed by because Connie is around; he’s right at the cusp, but he’s still a kid. But through Greg’s interactions with Connie, we see that his Dad Mode isn’t restricted to goofy shows of affection, and he’s willing to get serious when a kid that isn’t even his is upset. Just as we could’ve had an episode where Connie was more of a jerk, Steven’s quiet abandonment of his cape and crown could’ve made for some painful interactions with Greg. I’m so glad that Abrams and Mitroff are content with how uncomfortable the core premise of the episode is and don’t feel the need to shove in additional drama.

Also, while it’s clear from the extended theme song and implied in other Greg episodes, this is the first in-show confirmation that Greg raised Steven on his own for a significant portion of his life. It comes with yet another callback, this time to Laser Light Cannon as we crank up Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart, and it’s heartwarming to think about those early days of Greg and Baby Steven in an episode that’s so focused on the question of Steven’s humanity. Three Gems and a Baby will show the sorts of challenges Greg actually faced, but it also reinforces what we learn here: that for all their cosmic wisdom, Steven needed a human to raise him first. Not even Garnet pulling faces can do what Greg does.

The method by which Steven adjusts his form turns Steven’s Birthday into something of an Amethyst Episode (I love how this show is willing to pick certain Gems to focus on even when all three are still background characters). Garnet and Pearl don’t have the body issues that Amethyst now shares with Steven, especially concerning the use of shapeshifting to combat a feeling that they’re too small. Amethyst introduces the concept while stretching to hang up a banner with a pointed caveat that she can’t stay stretched forever, and when she confronts him after catching his secret (aided by him helpfully stating aloud what his secret is), you get a sense that she knows all too well how much it hurts to try to permanently hold a bigger form. In a true Amethyst Episode, this might lead to a reveal that she once attempted what Steven’s doing now (which we do see a bit of in Reformed but not in the “stretching of a base form” sense), but here, it’s left to the imagination.



Amethyst also gets that great reveal as a car seat, which I can’t unsee now but was surprised by in my first viewing due to the focus on Connie and Greg. It’s not only a fun little joke, but it gives Greg a reason to have a baby seat handy. Considering he’s a hoarder and the barn is full of old junk, we could’ve seen a regular seat without comment, but the crew doesn’t waste the opportunity for a sight gag.

There is one missing thing from Steven’s Birthday that surprised me a little. Considering our last episode (which takes place mere hours before this one) was a story about, among other things, how Garnet met Rose, it’s interesting that nobody points out the other anniversary this day represents. Steven’s birth directly correlates with Rose’s death, but neither Greg nor the Gems (not even Pearl!) seem to care. This isn’t a criticism of the episode at all: Abrams and Mitroff wanted to tell a completely different story, and there’s no way to do justice to “Gems think about Rose’s death on Steven’s special day” without making that the focus of the episode. I just think it’s an intriguing indicator of the show’s priorities. Rose is important, but in the moment the Gems see Steven as more important, and that’s pretty neat.



Anyway, it’ll be a couple more seasons until Steven and Connie get another big dose of teen-specific angst with the devastating Breakup Arc, and I doubt it’s a coincidence that their reconciliation in Kevin Party comes with Steven’s pink button-down. Still, in retrospect, the awkwardness we see here primes us for a different relationship: Lapis and Peridot’s. The latter is awkwardness incarnate, and when we finally get to know the former outside of crisis mode, it turns out she’s a surly teen. Together, they sate the show’s new appetite for adolescent drama between Steven’s Birthday and Dewey Wins, culminating in Lapis dumping Peridot (because as I literally just said, the Breakup Arc is devastating).

Shifting the teen relationship to another duo is such a smart path for the show to take, because it lets us retain focus on Steven’s identity as a growing child without abandoning the new storytelling possibilities that Steven’s Birthday suggests. It’s not as if Steven doesn’t gain any maturity until Dewey Wins—Amethyst’s arc is all about how he’s more or less caught up with her, and she’s a bit of a surly teen herself—but there’s enough Gem drama at the moment that Steven and Connie’s relationship still works best without tremendous complications.

Future Vision!



Maybe Pearl doesn’t want to hold Baby Steven because of that time she almost killed him in Three Gems and a Baby ?



? Steven’s facial hair might not have many new appearances, but Jungle Moon teaches us that Stevonnie gets full stubble when they’re fused long enough. And we do see it briefly in Reunited , complete with the shaving kit that explains why it’s rarely on his face. Gotta keep that chin smooth!



teaches us that Stevonnie gets full stubble when they’re fused long enough. And we see it briefly in , complete with the shaving kit that explains why it’s rarely on his face. Gotta keep that chin smooth! If Steven’s entire look after the time jump counts, then this is pretty good foreshadowing.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Steven’s discomfort expands to the viewing experience as well, and while it’s good to portray awkwardness well in situations like these, I’m not huge on rewatching it. Also, I hit my major growth spurt between fifth and sixth grade (and by major I mean I was six feet tall in sixth grade and just stuck with that height), and you don’t grow that fast without some serious back aches, so this one doesn’t just bring an intentional cringe factor, but memories of acute physical pain.

But I mean sure besides that it’s pretty good.

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5. Horror Club

4. Fusion Cuisine

3. House Guest

2. Sadie’s Song

1. Island Adventure