We're redecorating at the Cafe today. We are taking down the picture of Texas congresscritter Blake Farenthold from its honored place over the jukebox. You may recall that, a couple of years back, we inaugurated a new semi-regular weekly feature in which we sought the possible successor to the retiring Michele Bachmann as Royal Regent of the Crazy People. (Louie Gohmert, of course, remains emperor for life.) Farenthold won the competition, and has reigned ever since. But, alas, no longer. First, Farenthold went from simply crazy to, well, ick.And, second, and most important, the good citizens of the Sixth Congressional District of Wisconsin gifted us with Representative Glenn Grothman and, quite simply, there is no need for us ever to hold another competition. Grothman will hold this title until he leaves public life or dies. It is the Divine Right of Stupid.

Even before moving onto the national scene, Grothman laid the groundwork for his ascension by his work in the Wisconsin state assembly. Not only was he vital to the destruction wrought by Scott Walker, but Grothman also opposed the concept of the weekend, thought sex education made kids gay, and opined that Kwanzaa was a plot by white liberals to start a race war.

But now, on the bigger stage, Grothman has upped his game. Not content with opposing the Supreme Court's marriage equality decision, and not content with opposing any attempt to de-emphasize the gonfalon of loserdom, Grothman tossed both of these into the pot and stirred them into a thick, rich gumbo of blended idiocy.

"Our president during the Civil War was, of course, Abraham Lincoln, who was known as the most biblical of presidents, somebody who quoted the Bible a lot...In the Civil War, some 600,000 people died in a country that was much less populated than that today. And it was a much more religious country and I think a lot of people who died fighting in that war felt they died fighting for a religious cause, you know, 'Battle Hymn of the Republic' and all that. I think it would shock those people who died in that war to find out the constitutional amendment which was ratified kind of as a culmination of their great efforts and their great deaths would be 150 years later, a little less than 150 years later, used by these five robed, arrogant, robed people to take this constitutional amendment and say that that constitutional amendment that was drafted after the Civil War was in fact an amendment designed to say that same-sex marriage had to be legal."

It also would shock the people who died in that war that we have a black president today who rides in a metal tube above the earth to visit distant lands. And that women vote. And that we can watch porn on our telephones. And that anybody would want to be represented by the likes of Glenn Grothman, Royal Regent of Crazy People for life.

Our president during the Civil War was, of course, Abraham Lincoln, who was known as the most biblical of presidents, somebody who quoted the Bible a lot," he said. "In the Civil War, some 600,000 people died in a country that was much less populated than that today. And it was a much more religious country and I think a lot of people who died fighting in that war felt they died fighting for a religious cause, you know, 'Battle Hymn of the Republic' and all that."I think it would shock those people who died in that war to find out the constitutional amendment which was ratified kind of as a culmination of their great efforts and their great deaths would be 150 years later, a little less than 150 years later, used by these five robed, arrogant, robed people to take this constitutional amendment and say that that constitutional amendment that was drafted after the Civil War was in fact an amendment designed to say that same-sex marriage had to be legal." - See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/gop-rep-marriage-equality-decision-offensive-civil-war-dead-because-they-were-fighting-furth#sthash.nAzrQXfx.dpuf

Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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