Papa has dementia, and Grami struggles to take care of him. He says he has taken his medication when he hasn’t. He gets mad when she tells him what to do.

I have never seen Papa cry. She told me the other night he woke up crying, and he told her that he had a dream where they were in two separate boats traveling in opposite directions, and there was nothing he could do to get back to her. I can’t imagine him saying anything like this.

Saturday, February 22, 2020: Grandpa’s Birthday Party

Grami’s phone kept buzzing throughout the party. It’s my uncle. She texted him back. He called her. She looked at her phone but ignored it.

I don’t want to talk about my uncle here, but I’ll say that she has never stopped taking care of him.

I try to imagine what it must be like to be in your 80s, to feel like you have never really grown up, to be taking care of your son who is in his 50s and your husband, who you know you’re going to outlive and whose mental state is quickly deteriorating. I can’t.

2009: My 16th Birthday

Grami and I have the same favorite book: Steinbeck’s East of Eden. She gave it to me for my 16th birthday, telling me the story reminds her of her own sons, my dad and uncle. If you’re familiar with the book, you’ll understand why that’s sad.

My copy of East of Eden that Grami gave me for my 16th birthday.

In the front of the book, Grami wrote an inscription. Opposite the inscription are two post-it notes.

Post-It 1: “Hope your mom approves. I just noticed some curse words in it.” Post-It 2: “Natalie, sorry I made a mess of my introduction. -Grami”

She always apologizes.

“I’m sorry. I am talking too much.”

“I shouldn’t have told you that.”

It took a while, but she doesn’t apologize to me for talking too much anymore.

I tell her that everyone likes listening to her. She says I only think that because I’m a writer so I like stories more than most people.

Pete’s New Call to Service

Grami, like many other aging adults, often feels lonely and forgotten. A sad irony is that the time of your life when you most need to be heard, is often the time when most people have stopped listening.

This is why I think the focus on “belonging” in Pete’s campaign is important, when so many people are told repeatedly that they don’t belong.

I know that a lot of people are rightfully tired of hearing empty words and promises when politicians talk about things like “belonging” and “hope.” But I believe Pete. His words aren’t empty. They are full with sincerity and determination. If you’re skeptical, just look at his life choices and read through some of his policy proposals.

Belonging is woven into Pete’s plans for the country, something that became obvious to me when I listened to him talk about his “New Call to Service,” which expands paid service opportunities for young people.

Now, I don’t want to bore anyone with unqualified policy-talk, so I’m going to keep this brief.

What surprised me about Pete’s service plan was the inclusion of an “intergenerational corps,” which would address issues that people like my grandparents face. To me, including seniors in a plan for young people sends an important message that people like my grandparents belong, that they have wisdom, love, and important stories to share. This plan creates opportunities for young people to not just serve, but to listen to voices that need to be heard and learn from these voices at a formative time in their lives.