The Minister assured the Premier that his men assured him they were all over the internet and the Commissioner knew they weren’t lying because every time he looked out his office the others were all gathered around the big computer out there pointing at something on the internet. The Premier said he was mollified and the Minister went very quiet, which he does when he’s not sure if words mean what they think he means. With the threat from the internet contained, the Premier noted there’d been some sort of march on the weekend, which couldn’t be right because he knew they’d been illegal since Joh’s day. The Commissioner corrected him that they’d actually been illegal in Joh’s day, but pretty much legal ever since. The Minister said in a loud excited voice that, oh, he knew the answer to this one, and made a note to make all marching illegal again. The Premier thought that was an excellent idea, but the Commissioner said the police like to march here and there every now and then and it would be good if they could do that. The Minister made another note, about some marching being good and some marching being bad but he was starting to look confused.

The Premier asked the Commissioner if these marching ruffians were going to be a problem when everyone visited him for the G20 Meeting which was in Brisbane, if the Commissioner didn’t know, which the Premier was the boss of just in case anyone was wondering. The Commissioner asked if it was still the G20 because Russia just got kicked out of the G8 which was now the G7 and the Minister started to make a funny high pitched noise because he couldn’t keep up with the sums. The Premier said nobody had told him it wasn’t the G20 anymore and they’d better not because he’d been telling everyone he was boss of the G20 not the G19 which sounded completely naff and second rate and he told the Minister in a loud voice to stop crying or he’d give him something to cry about. Then he made a note to call Tony Abbott about this stupid G19 business and make sure he didn’t arse everything up like he always did. Finally, the meeting moved on to security preparations for the Premier’s big day. The Commissioner said the police force had prepared a threat assessment for the G20 and the most likely threats the Premier was likely to give them more money for were listed as:

1. Bikies 2. Shark attacks (which were very popular with the newspapers overseas) and 3. Stingers (which all the tourists worried about). The Premier agreed it was a good list, especially the bikie one. But he asked why Anastasia the Mystery Woman wasn’t on there. Because she’s a mystery, replied the Commissioner and everyone laughed because they all agreed that was very droll, even though the Police Minister wasn’t sure what droll meant.

The Premier said that he thought public servants could be a threat, because despite his best efforts there were still a lot of them, and they didn’t seem to like him, so the Commissioner added them to the list with Bikies and sharks and stingers. The Minister suggested sticky pants and when everyone looked at him he explained that he often had trouble getting his pants on in humid whether because his legs got sticky and it could be embarrassing if that happened to the president of America or Russia. The Commissioner said it probably wouldn’t be a problem for the Russian fellow because he seemed to get about shirtless most of the time and would probably go pantsless in the warmer weather. But the Premier agreed they should add sticky pants to the list. And floods too, he exclaimed suddenly. Everyone liked him when they had floods. So add that too. Finally the Commissioner suggested adding drop bears, just for the Americans, because that was always good fun. The Premier wanted everyone to understand that his G20 meeting, emphasis on the twenty, was very serious indeed, but yes, drop bears were a threat everyone could agree on, at least when Americans were around.

Meeting ended with lots of giggling.