Dear Diary,

It’s been a while. A lot has changed, but I like to think for the better.

First, I’m a few years older, and of course, so is everyone else. When I last used my diary, our family was going through some struggles. My dad had to go to therapy for depression, which was hard for me as a kid. But I think that if anything, it taught me to be responsible. I’ve been saving up money and taking care of my little sister, Willow. She’s getting big: almost walking and talking.

I’ve been taking on so many responsibilities that my parents decided to take a huge step in treating me as an adult…

They’re going on a restorative, romantic vacation, and leaving me to take care of the house and the baby. Mom was hesitant at first, because she thought it wouldn’t be fair to ask a teenager to take care of a toddler for a whole weekend, but I assured her that I really wanted to do it. I love playing with my little sister, and it would be a great opportunity to show my parents that I’m responsible and trustworthy enough to travel on my own for graduation. My dad joked that I’m “going to be inheriting the cabin someday,” so they have to trust my judgement. He’s such a dork, but I’m glad he vouched for me.

I’m so excited!

—

Dear Diary,

It’s day two of the long babysitting weekend, and I can’t believe I agreed to do this! It’s so much work taking care of a toddler when there’s no one else to help you out. Willow normally loves me, but when mom and dad aren’t around, she cries all the time. Potty training is a BATTLE.

….

Dear Diary,

Success! Under my watch, the baby took her first steps! It feels like the whole weekend was worth it: the missed parties, the stinky training toilet, the ear-piercing crying baby alarm clock at 6 AM. I know it was just a weekend, but I really want to be a mom now. I mean, someday. Not right now.

Mom and Dad are coming home in a few hours. Willow’s sleeping, and I finally threw out the last empty juice carton. (It seemed like there were MILLIONS of them.) And guess what else? Tomorrow is our birthday! It’s a big one for Willow. She won’t be a baby anymore!

….

Dear Diary,

Worst birthday ever. Poor Willow. I’m so, so, so angry. I’m fuming.

So everyone was in the kitchen to watch Willow blow out her birthday candles. Mom was making sure we were all there, when she noticed that Grandpa was missing. He was in the kitchen just a second ago. Nobody knew where he was. Of course, he’s old, so we were kind of worried that something happened to him. So Mom handed Willow off to me and started searching the house. All of the sudden, I hear yelling.

I don’t know exactly what happened, and my mom won’t tell me the specifics. Apparently, Grandpa somehow “betrayed” my grandma… with Hank, my mom’s police partner or whatever. Did Grandpa cheat on my grandma with a man? Is my grandpa gay? I keep asking my mom to tell me what’s going on, but she barks back “I don’t want to talk about it!” or “Stop being nosy!”

Grandpa isn’t allowed to come back to the house anymore, and for good reason. Whether it was flirting, or kissing, or… you know… he cheated. Dad isn’t so mad at Grandpa or Hank, because Grandpa’s from a different generation that doesn’t accept gay people like we do. Dad says it’s probably really hard for him. I don’t know, I understand what Dad is saying, but I’m still more on mom’s side about it. He should have at least told Grandma.

I actually feel a lot calmer now that I’ve written about it. I still think I never want to talk to Grandpa again, though.

…

Dear Diary,

Again, life marches on. The whole “Grandpa” situation is finally settling down. Grandpa moved out and we haven’t heard from him. Grandma comes over for dinner sometimes, and she seems okay with being alone. Mom was having a lot of trouble working alongside the jerk who broke up her parents, so she decided to use her experience in law enforcement to work as a private investigator instead. It’s good match for her. It pays less, so we don’t have a lot of money, but she looks happier.

Willow has gotten so big. She’s a cute little girl, but she’s such a little weirdo. She caught a chipmunk in the forest behind our house and plays with it for hours after school. She says she wants to have a house full of little snakes and lizards and chipmunks someday. I try not to squash her imagination, but… she’s so weird.

…

Dear Diary,

I really need to get better at updating this journal. It’s my parents’ anniversary today. It’s super duper cute.

It might be really selfish, but it makes me wonder why I don’t have a boyfriend at this point. Or even a boy as a friend.

Okay, here’s a story: I missed my senior prom. Yeah, I actually MISSED IT because I was WORKING. Is that really dumb of me? Like what if I found the love of my life at prom?

I’m being so stupid about this. I need to save money so I can go to China after graduation. That’s the ultimate goal. Not dumb teenage love.

Willow is a teenager now. And she’s beautiful. Like a thousand times prettier than I am. I’m really scared that soon, she’ll have a bunch of boys falling all over her and I won’t be able to be happy for her. I’ll be jealous of her. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help how I feel.

Even though she’s pretty now, she’s still super weird. Her chipmunk died a few days ago, and she just kept standing there crying over it. Like it was a real person. And I don’t mean crying, I mean seriously wailing.

When she’s not playing with furry woodland creatures, she’s hogging my computer, doing all kinds of nerdy things to it. She normally plays video games, but last night, she actually told me she was hacking into the treasury. I said “Oh, is that a puzzle game or something” and she said “Nope.” SO WEIRD.

Well, today I’m having my graduation party and my parents say I have to let Willow come. My dad nagged me this morning, saying “Remember, your little sister will always look up to you so you have to take care of her.” Ugh, it was so much easier when it was just about changing diapers.

I’m keeping my eyes on the prize. Graduation, then China, then College!