I’m an American and I don’t affiliate with any political party. I choose not to because America constantly complains about feeling “divided” while championing politicians who “reach across the aisle” as if they’re holy saints. At the same time our government refuses to acknowledge that much of the divisiveness we feel is a result of the two-party system. Instead, Republicans and Democrats continue to throw their ideas at each other like kids in a snowball fight, knowing full well that their opinions and rhetoric will simply bounce right off the giant, seemingly impenetrable fortress the other has constructed. To be clear, this does not mean that I’m necessarily “moderate,” either. I refuse to assume a label because the moment you do, divisiveness steps into the room.

When we label ourselves “Republican” or “Democrat” and pledge allegiance to a specific “platform” of ideas, we divide ourselves. We claim to hate that divide, but since our country is so huge we can live entirely on one side and never have to really interact with the other side. It becomes a moot point in our daily lives, and more of just a talking point for the strangers we see arguing on TV.

Many of us were born into either a more conservative or a more liberal community. Our parents were likely firmly on one side or the other, and taught us to do the same. When our neighbors, teachers, church leaders, local politicians, and parents have already picked a side, then we are not free to think for ourselves. We’re born with a label stamped on our foreheads — and it’s not “human being.” Most of the time, unfortunately, it’s either “Republican” or “Democrat.”

But our divisions go deeper than that.

There may be one Great Divide right down the middle, but there are also horizontal slices that cut through both halves called “social classes.” Can you imagine a wealthy billionaire genuinely befriending an impoverished homeless person? Listening to their problems, supporting them in times of need, truly understanding who they are as a person and developing empathy for them? It seems nearly impossible, doesn’t it? Whether we like to admit it or not, that same gap exists between social classes that are only one rung apart on the ladder.

People in middle-class America generally live in their own neighborhoods with their own schools, churches, businesses, and social gatherings. They typically never associate with working-class Americans except when they visit McDonald’s, need their lawn mowed, need their hair cut, or their house catches on fire. It’s completely random chance that decides which slice of which half of America’s heart you’re born into, and it’s very hard to develop meaningful relationships with anyone from another slice.

Let’s rewind a little over 150 years.

America claims to be “the land of the free and the home of the brave,” yet even those iconic words were written at a time when America was rampant with the shit-stain of slavery. Many people look back on our country’s beginnings with certain sense of shame or denial, seemingly without a clue as to how or why slavery ever existed. Slavery was possible because some white people in America created a label. “Slave.” This helped them see property where they should’ve seen human beings. Slaves weren’t a part of the American heart at all, so slave owners could live happily amongst themselves for generations without ever interacting with slaves except when they needed their food harvested, their plantations kept tidy, or their smug, fat white faces wiped clean.

Eventually there was a massive political divide over whether or not slaves should be set free, and it lead to a horrific, bloody civil war. Over 150 years later, we still haven’t quite recovered from that war. New labels have been created, such as “criminal” or “terrorist” in order to keep the divide alive. America should be a beacon of hope and freedom for everyone in the world, but immigrant, minority, and lower-class citizens are still typically shoved into the parts of America that are farthest from the privileged, yet still bickering majorities.

Democrats love to label themselves the bringers of hope, equality, and rational thinking. They are supposedly the party of progress. The party who wants every American to enjoy the same privileges as everyone else. I think those are fantastic messages. However, my biggest problem with the Democrats is that the disenfranchised people they claim to want to help often see their messages as disingenuous and naively condescending. Proposals that may actually be extremely helpful become confusing, un-relatable, or completely misunderstood. In my opinion, this is the fundamental reason that Donald Trump won the presidential election.

When an elite Democrat like Hillary Clinton travels around to big cities shouting, “I will provide free college tuition for all families making $125,000 or less” to raucous applause, working-class people in more rural or under-privileged areas are forced to try and extrapolate personal meaning from that broad statement. A statement they likely only heard second-hand. Not only that, but the statement itself includes two labels: “families” (implying only the children reap this benefit) and “$125,000 or less.” While the message is good and very well intentioned, to many working-class and poor Americans it probably sounded something like: “To all you poor people down there, I have an announcement! You’re going to stay poor and it’s still going to suck royally hard trying to raise your kids, but if they make it to age 18 with good grades, then I’ll make sure they can go to college.” Meanwhile, Mr. Trump told those same people “I’m going to fight for you. We can make everything better together.” That’s it. No plans, no specifics, no substance. Just a straightforward promise that’s easy to understand… so it won. And it won bigly.

Now, imagine if the Democratic nominee had travelled to working-class and rural American communities, delivering a message such as:

“When I visit places like this, I see that you’re in pain and you don’t feel heard. You’re struggling to support your families even though you’re working long hours because you’re severely underpaid. You’re living in constant fear of getting sick or hurt, because you can’t afford healthcare costs. It’s nearly impossible for you to get ahead because you never had a chance to get the education you need. Your kids might never get that chance either, in spite of how hard you work every single day. I promise to fight for you and your families. I want to make sure that you make enough money to support yourselves and your children. I want to make sure that when you or your loved ones get sick or hurt, they have a right to free healthcare so they can heal and you don’t lose everything you have. I want to make sure that you and your children both have the right to go to college for free, so you can gain the skills and knowledge you need in order to help strengthen your communities with better businesses and better teachers. We can do this together.”

That message is not a broad political statement or a thinly veiled promise. It is not inherently “Republican” or “Democrat.” It describes a heartfelt, human-to-human covenant. It speaks to struggling individuals as fellow human beings, not “potential voters” in one demographic or another.

In my opinion, politics shouldn’t be a giant, vicious quarrel over what it means to be human. We should all be guaranteed equal opportunity, equal rights, and equal respect. We should be able to call politics a noble, rational debate about how to best guarantee that equality (among many other important issues)— but it should never question equality itself.

Republicans seem to have almost an inverse set of flaws to the Democrats. While the Democrats may have rational, factual arguments which they consistently fail to communicate effectively, the Republicans seem to often have irrational, non-factual, fear and/or faith-based arguments that they communicate effectively in very simple and relatable ways. While neither of these defects of Democrats or Republicans are present in every single message, they seem to clearly define each party’s general theme.

Republicans are just as guilty as Democrats of using labels in an attempt to further their agendas and stroke their own egos. Whether it’s labels like “criminals” or “gays” or “hippies,” there seem to be many of them. To me, this signifies a virulent undercurrent of separatism and anti-intellectualism in the Republican party, often disguised as wholesome values or the prioritization of faith over reason. When everyone you know, including your friends, families, teachers, church leaders, and politicians believe those same things and use those same labels, how can a child born into such a community be free to think for themselves? It’s the same problem the other side faces, just with a different set of divisive labels and messages disguised as “political positions.” And everyone seems perfectly content with that, despite the fact that it’s what’s tearing us apart.

All of us Americans are human beings who found ourselves in a specific slice of the American heart upon our birth. We had no choice, but one of the only ways to fuse those slices together and unite the remaining two halves as one is to develop meaningful, label-free relationships with people outside of our slice. The more we seek to truly understand our neighbors and treat them as friends and family, the less divided we will feel. It’s easy to create a label and alienate people with it. It’s a cheap way to feel “safe” and “happy” in our own little worlds. But America is about “liberty and justice for all.” The best way to make good on those promises, to me, is to shed our silly labels and step outside of our comfortable little slices of America’s broken heart.