Why (You Think) There’s No Such Thing As Bisexual Men

Bisexual men are often the most misunderstood and maligned segment of the LGBTQ+ community: Some people insist they can’t be faithful, while others claim they don’t even really exist.

But a study by Dr. Eric Schrimshaw at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health suggests that bi men are out there, it’s just that most are afraid to come out.

More than 200 closeted bisexual men were interviewed and, as Bisexual.org, reports:

Schrimshaw found that many men aren’t “confused” about their sexuality. That’s not the reason for their non-disclosure to their female partners. They know they are attracted to both men and women; however, they aren’t open about their (bi)sexuality because they fear stigma, ridicule, and being outed to others. They also fear judgement and being left by their female partners because of their previous same-sex sexual actions.

Schrimshaw found that closeted bisexual men were more prone to depression, anxiety and lower positive emotions than gay men, even if they disclosed their orientation to a few close friends or family. (Nearly 38% of the men hadn’t told anyone they have sex with men.)

“The fact that concealment, but not disclosure, was associated with the mental health of these bisexual men is critically important for the way therapeutic interventions are conducted,” said co-author Karolynn Siegel.

“Although disclosure may result in acceptance from family and friends, in other cases—particularly with female partners—it may also result in rejecting reactions, which are adversely associated with mental health.”

In other words, a gay man doesn’t have to worry his partner will dump him if he finds out he’s gay.

JUSTIN TALLIS/AFP/Getty Images

The study, published in the American Psychological Association’s Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, included men from diverse ethnic and racial backgrounds, dispelling the notion that “being on the down low” is particular to black or Latino men.

According to findings, men who live with a wife or girlfriend, who think of themselves as heterosexual, and who have a lower frequency of sex with men were more likely to conceal their same-sex behavior. Greater frequency of sex with women also correlated with greater concealment. Men with a household income of $30,000 or more per year reported greater concealment about their same-sex behavior than men with lower incomes.

“Our research provides information on the factors that might contribute to greater concealment among this group of behaviorally bisexual men,” Schrimshaw says. “Such information is critical to understanding which of these bisexual men may be at greatest risk for mental health problems.”

It may not be necessary for these men to publicly declare their sexual behavior to improve their mental health, he says, “as long as [they] have adequate emotional support to cope with other stressors in their lives.”