Young Australians travelling overseas to take up arms with the militant group Islamic State have naively bought into a fictional fantasy fuelled by social media, a human rights activist says.

Dr Qanta Ahmed, who is visiting Melbourne, is a vocal critic of Islamist extremism. After practising medicine in Saudi Arabia for a year, she published a book about the misogyny and racism she experienced there, called In the Land of Invisible Women.

Two years ago she visited the North-West Frontier province of Pakistan to meet boys aged between 10 and 20 who had been radicalised by the Taliban. They all told the same story, said Ahmed, a Muslim who was born in Britain and who now lives in Manhattan.

“They all had impoverished backgrounds, they were illiterate, their families had been approached by the Taliban and were coerced into abandoning their children, they were lambs to the slaughter,” she said.

“But those in Australia, the UK and US, they are not facing crises of having basic needs like food and shelter met, they are not child soldiers suffering human rights abuses, and in many cases their parents have offered them every opportunity.

“Those from the west are naive and lack imagination, they are chasing a fictional dream, and they often have barely any knowledge of what Islam is.”

The book aspiring Isis militants most commonly ordered online before taking off to Syria was Islam for Dummies, she said.

On Monday, four brothers who grew up in western Sydney were revealed as the latest young Australians to leave the country in an attempt to join Isis militants in Syria.

Ahmed said social media probably had a large role to play in their recruitment, and that Isis had “captured the global imagination” through a strong and well-produced online campaign.

“What Isis has done, and they have exceed al-Qaida in this, is take really spectacular control of the narrative of their organisation while sharing that story through masterful use of all mechanisms of the media,” she said.

“Young boys become caught up in a fantasy, just like some get caught up in the world of video games, and are being seduced by powerful language and metaphors that steal oxygen from Islam through tremendous distortion of what Islam really means.

“These young people perhaps feel they are in this mundane, humdrum of a world, and Isis make them believe they can be part of something bigger.”

And propaganda and recruitment videos spreading the jihadi message were more prevalent than ever, Ahmed said.

“Ten years ago, it was difficult to access and acquire videos like the beheadings we have seen unless you were part of an inner circle, but now this material is mainstream, you can access it just by opening Twitter,” she said.

“Somebody is producing these videos using extraordinary financial resources, which often have great sound and lighting to create this alternative reality.

“If you are a young person with limited imagination, a limited sense of self, and you are uninclined to engage with your neighbours, friends and a pluralistic society, you are very easily seduced. You’re like a blank canvas.”

Differentiating between Islam and Islamism was vital to discussions about how to tackle militants such as Isis and prevent them from recruiting boys and girls from western countries, Ahmed said.

There was a clear distinction between the two, she said. She believes the fear of being labelled “Islamophobic” is shutting down debate and preventing people from condemning Islamism.

Islamism promotes explicit totalitarianism and the belief that Islam historically had incredible global and geopolitical glory that should be restored through violence, jihadism and barbarity, Ahmed said.

“Islamism is more dangerous than nationalism as it is an ideology that steals oxygen from Islam and is coloured and injected with the language of a great faith, and in it are implications of religious purity which is dangerous.

“Islam celebrates diversity. Anyone with a reasonable knowledge of Islam understands we are joined to do good and collaborate with our fellow man, to enhance societies by serving in any way including volunteering and being part of a pluralistic liberal community. These values are essential to believing Muslims.

“Whenever it comes to religion, all of us are slightly irrational as we have a special attachment to our beliefs, but it is not irrational to refuse to enable a totalitarian ideology that seeks to reverse all kinds of gains in the world made through pluralistic democracy.”

Ahmed will be in Australia until 23 November to promote Project Rozana, a multi-faith initiative by the Friends of Hadassah hospital, which trains Palestinian doctors in the latest medical care so they can return to West Bank and Gaza to treat children.