You know, Peter. He applied 'cause he saw the ad.

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Last week, 20th Century Fox dropped the final trailer for David Leitch's Deadpool 2, and it didn't take long before a full-blown social media frenzy broke out over a newly-introduced character by the name of ... Peter.

Just: Peter.

No one seemed sure where Peter came from or what business he had joining X-Force (including Peter!), but the massive impression he'd made in just a few seconds' worth of screentime was undeniable. Shortly thereafter, fans discovered that Peter had his very own Twitter account, adding a whole new layer of intrigue to the Peter mythos.

Well, folks - you know me: interviewing character actors has been something of a recent hobby of mine. I had to know more about Peter, and I needed to go on the record with him in order to share my findings with you, the gentle BMD readers of the world. So I did the obvious thing: I reached out to 20th Century Fox and requested an interview with Peter, figuring I'd probably not hear back (the guy's gotta be super busy right now, what with the movie being only a month away from release). To say I was delighted when they agreed would be a massive understatement.

Yes, I actually did this. Yes, the following is interview is real. We'll get to that in a moment, but first: I wanna make sure everyone caught Peter's appearance in the Deadpool 2 trailer. I've very helpfully embedded it for you below.

And now, our interview...

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The new Deadpool 2 trailer hit and ten minutes later people were demanding Peter action figures. That must feel weird, no?

All the extra attention feels pretty neat. I just wish I had been better about my diet! They say the camera adds 10 pounds, but between you and me I think it’s all my weekend grilling. Love my hibachi! But seriously, I love my wife Susan even more.

Tell us about yourself, Peter. Where are you from, what do you do?

My mom always said it’s rude to talk about yourself, but I do enjoy my backyard Apiary. That’s really just a fancy term for beekeeping. And I love Susan. Which is really just a fancy word for my wife.

We don't want to get into spoiler territory, but - based on that trailer - you're going to be joining the X-Force when Deadpool 2 opens next month. What's Deadpool like as a boss?

I wouldn’t really say I’m afraid of him. No.

That wasn’t actually the question--

And grilling on the deck. Boom.



What? Okay ... Let’s just stick to X-Force. What can you tell us about your other teammates?

They seem great, and they’ve all been very helpful teaching me the ropes. Ha! “The ropes.” Listen to me, talking like a real pro already.

What's Cable's deal? Kinda seems like a dick.

I think there’s something we can learn from everyone. His pain is real, so, who am I to say he’s a bad guy? My dad was a detective. And back in old-fashioned days, you know what they used to call detectives? “Dicks”. So I think when you point your finger at someone, you may notice three fingers are pointing back at you. I guess what I’m trying to say is, please don’t swear.

Sorry about that. Let's move on: are you doing all your own stunts in the film? You looked exceptionally calm during that skydive.

I wasn’t calm. No sir. I was mostly lost in prayer. Before I was pushed out of the plane, Deadpool mentioned he’d packed my parachute with Gummi Bears and old tubes of Mac LipGlass. Which, as you may have guessed, aren’t inflatable life-saving nylon rectangles used to decelerate a human body moving through the atmosphere at terminal velocity. Anyway, turns out he was joking. It was a totally operational parachute.

I'm trying to be delicate here, but - you do have life insurance, don't you?

Yes. My life is super-insured at fair market value. Susan will be able to afford many more “all day sessions” with her exceptional trainer, Gus. He’s amazing.

How would you feel about fans cosplaying as you, Peter, a real person?

If they can figure out a better place to buy khakis I’m all for it! Sears just isn’t cutting the mustard anymore.

Where does Peter go from here? Do you have further projects lined up, or are you going to focus on your work with X-Force?

I’m trying to put my energy into my bees. I’ve got 5 langstroth hives and they’re really thriving this year. I’m also deeply involved with my online Krav Maga community. Although, it seems X-Force may be a growth industry. I wouldn’t mind some light mercenary work to offset the costs of my wife’s trainer, Gus.

Deadpool 2, starring Peter, arrives in theaters on May 18th.