Gabriel has described Sea of Thiefs as a “costume trunk,” which I think is apt, but it’s also a kind of free-range madhouse where ravening packs of youths can be teens without the justice their wayward acts should rightly accrue. Just so it’s clear: I bear no authentic ill-will against teens. I have one of your number in my home and I’m quite fond of him.

Please don’t burn down my house.

And besides, I doubt such acts are the exclusive domain of the moistened pupa. It’s a place, an ecosystem, a simulation, a woven basket of verbs and nouns with relationships to one another. Sometimes you just want to snap them together just to see what happens, and videogames - I’d say particularly a game grown on a substrate of piracy - is a better venue than most. Gabe and Kara invited friends out onto their boat, their virtual boat I should be clear, the only one they have, where they collectively had an experience and I was surprised to learn that the newcomers were not dissuaded by it. Amy’s actual line, one we experimented with in the strip before settling on the current construction, was “I want to go back, kill them, and eat their skin.” Even with Sea of Thieves’ dedication to physicality, it’s not something players can do. Currently.

Oh! And it is Wednesday, which means that our pulpiest of pulp sci-fi turns continues on tonight’s Acquisitions Incorporated: The “C” Team. We get started at 4pm PDT if you want to join us live.

(CW)TB out.