Mountain Dew, pardon me, Mtn Dew is for winners (and losers). Many try to copy it, but none can reproduce this sweet nectar from PepsiCo. Here in 2019, people will fight about anything. With a presidential election just around the corner, several ‘GOAT’ debates across sports, and new movie and TV revivals that nobody is asking for, people are searching for things to fight about. My friends, Jason and Ben, and I decided to swim into murky water and go where no one else would dare go. Which flavor of Mountain Dew is the best? We created our own rankings then averaged each flavor’s rank to create the most conversation-sparking list of all time (suck it, Schindler).

CAUTION – We are from the Midwest, so anytime we use the word “pop,” substitute your word for it.

1. Baja Blast

Will – There hasn’t been a more obvious Number One overall pick since LeBron James. Not only does it have the best taste, but also the best ambiance. Baja Blast was once only available at Taco Bell, so while you’re inhaling crunchwraps and tacos, Baja Blast is there as a perfect chaser and dye for what filth is going to exit your body in a few hours.

Jason – I’m a big tropical flavor fan, so Mtn. Dew’s introduction of Baja Blast to the retail market was basically the most important event in my lifetime. No stop at Taco Bell has ever been complete without a couple of these babies to wash down my 3-4 burritos. “Blast” became available in stores just in time for high school grad parties and was a staple in our hometown. It was a liquid symbol of good times with good friends before beer and liquor, and it still holds water as a legitimate substitute.

Ben – Is there anything more disappointing than filling up a “water cup” at Taco Bell with the sugary ‘sus’ known as Baja Blast, only to find out that the syrup for the soda machine ran out? No? It’s #1 then.

2. Supernova

Will – I’m a big red fruit soda guy. My go-to at a Coke Freestyle machine is half Peach Fanta, half Fruit Punch Fanta. One time I spilled strawberry pop on Jason’s iPod so I am surprised he has Supernova this high.

Jason – *Timmy’s Dad from Fairly OddParents’ voice when he’s saying “Dinkelberg”* : Strawberry……. Yeah, Will managed to disable both my phone and iPod touch (circa 2013) with the Red Menace itself: Strawberry Fanta. The best part is that we were at Cedar Point, America’s Roller Coast, and I had no method of communication with the outside world for that day and the subsequent day or two.

Now onto the review. For me, the melon flavor combined with the strawberry/citrus flavors is a winning result. During the first DEWmocracy competition, as a young whippa’ snappa’, I didn’t appreciate this flavor for what it was. When they brought it back a few years ago is when it became a favorite of mine. I’d contend that “SuperNova” is also an elite beverage name.

Ben – As the dorks say, this is an “S” tier flavor. “S” standing for “snubbed,” “super tasty,” and “should have won the first DEWmocracy.” No, I’m not still mad about it, shut up.

3. Mountain Dew

Will – OG. Original Gangster. A staple in the food pyramid. There are few things I enjoy in life more than sipping on a chilled Mountain Dew on a hot summer day. It cools me off, quenches my thirst, and gives me the energy to say inside for the rest of the day.

Jason – My go-to order at restaurants, dry-events, and everywhere in between. Can I just point out the fact Original Mountain Dew is head and shoulders the best tasting Citrus soda ever conceived? From gaming, to refreshing on a hot day, to re-hydrating after an intense basketball game, Mtn Dew is the one and only perfect (widely available) solution.

Ben – The classic. Just looking at this bottle teleports me back to middle school. Good times. Call of Duty, Little-League Baseball, gym class, please stop hitting me Craig.

4. DEW S A

Will – What happens when you mix Code Red, White Out, and Voltage into one bottle? A Bruce Springsteen concert in your mouth. This is not the first time I have referenced Bruce Springsteen being inside me, and it won’t be the last.

Jason – This shit just fucking slaps, m8. The scientists at the Mtn Dew labs got a little horny one day and decided to watch some steamy threesomes together (they have a Brazzers subscription). This inspired the creation of a USA themed Dew flavor that simply lives up to the hype.

Ben – DEW-S-A is so good it deserves 12 Fighter Pilot flyovers, 11 Call of Duty Black Ops Games, 10 Bill of Rights Amendments, 9 hours of fireworks, 8 Regis Philbins, 7 Central American Coups, 6 more years of Tom Brady, 5 National Anthems, 4 years of undergraduate student loans, 3 flavors colliding, 2 atomic bombs, and a Twinkie-Crusted Deep-Fried Apple Pie sitting on a truck bed in Dubuque, Iowa.

5. Code Red

Will – I had Code Red at #2 overall on my list. I don’t care for cherries that much, but artificial cherry flavoring? Sign me up. I must have inherited the taste for cherries from my aunt, who would cry when she couldn’t get her cherry dip on her vanilla ice cream cone. I inherited that trait as well.

Jason – The flavor that’s stood the test of time and has always been there as the first name in Mtn Dew variations. Code Red isn’t as unique as some of the flavors on this list, but it has earned my respect and admiration. It’s important to have one of these from time to time as a token of gratitude for the doors it has opened for other flavors.

Ben – Back in the day, Code Red reigned supreme over other cherry sodas like Cherry-Coke and Cherry 7-up. These days, it’s not my first choice. Thank you for your service, he’ll (↓) take it from here.

6. Voltage

Will – In 2008 there was an election in the United States that would shape our nation forever. We have never had a leader of this color before, and some were skeptical where it came from. Of course I’m talking about when Voltage came out of the DEWmocracy contest and took over neighborhood fridges by storm.

Jason – This was the most badass flavor growing up for a few reasons. Number one, it was the winner of DEWmocracy I. I cared about that election significantly more than that other one of the same year that involved some deathly looking guy and Osama Bin Laden (correct me if I am wrong). Second, people finally had a blue pop that was worth its salt. Blue Fanta is underwhelming and Cotton Candy soda is a damn abomination. Blue raspberry has always been able to make other flavors jealous of it. This Dew flavor has a real nice kick to it and the proper flavor balance to make it worthy of carrying the Mountain Dew name.

Ben – Zzt. The third best flavor of the first DEWmocracy. Zzt. Yet still pretty darnt good. Zzt. Blue raspberries don’t exist but this drink is electric. Zzt.

7. Dewshine

Will – Scientists have proven that everything tastes better out of a glass bottle (NY Times). The fact that it comes in a glass bottle is enough for me to put it in the top 10.

Jason – There’s so much I could say about what Dewshine means to me. Drinking it out of a glass bottle with your buds over a game of Euchre or ping pong is a feeling that’s second to none. The secret ingredient is real moonshiner piss. Don’t ask me why it’s so delightful.

Ben – It tastes like a syrupy 7-up, but you look cool while drinking it. We’re all about A E S T H E T I C S.

8. White Out

Will – After the riots from the first DEWmocracy stopped, the bastards at PepsiCo did it again. White Out was the winner of DEWmocracy: Collective Intelligence, barely edging out Typhoon (more later). The third flavor in that promotion shall not be named.

Jason – A truly innovative flavor of Mtn Dew for those who can’t handle the spicy punch in the mouth that most Dew flavors have. It’s easily the most mellow flavor and goes down really quickly. This would be my go-to pop to shotgun.

Ben – Harvested from the snowy tops of Mt. Saint Helens, this drink has a crisp taste and a smooth pyroclastic flow.

9. Throwback

Will – I just learned that it is called Mount St. Helens, not Mount St. Helen. A classic, but doesn’t have that magic. Also, screw that moonshiner. He keeps asking to tickle my wife’s innards, and while I appreciate the gesture, I must decline his request.

Jason – This basically tastes the same as the current Mountain Dew. I select one of these puppies over the regular on days I’m feeling alternative and anti-establishment.

Ben – Really can’t tell the difference between this and classic. I don’t think replacing synthesized sugar with real sugar makes much of a difference. I guess real sugar rots your teeth like a true West Virginian moonshiner.

10. Revolution

Will – This is what George Washington was thinking when he crossed the Delaware. “It may be Christmas, and we may slaughter thousands of Hessians, but I could go for a blue Mountain Dew with a pinch of Ginseng.” There’s a reason he was the first president, folks.

Jason – Really wish this flavor would have stuck. It done been a minute since I’ve had one of these, but this was almost as good as Voltage. It’s rumored that this is what all the Russians mixed with their vodka during their Communist Manifesto.

Ben – Current geriatric Bernie Sanders is calling for a revolution. I think this is what he means. Let’s raise taxes on the 1% to bring this flavor back. You can’t have a DEWmocracy or even a DEW-S-A without a revolution folks.

11. Typhoon

Will – As mentioned earlier, Typhoon barely lost to White Out, which is a shame. Mountain Dew with a tropical twist doesn’t sound too appetizing, but it was surprisingly good. I would love a rerun.

Jason – Never had this flavor, wish I would have tried it when I had the chance. Looks like GameFuel to me, which is just alright.

Ben – Will’s opinion is wrong. Typhoon is a bad flavor and a corny waterslide name.

12. LiveWire

Will – No, this is not a music downloading service. I don’t think LiveWire is incredible, but I think it is underappreciated. It’s not in the same conversation as Orange Crush or Orange Fanta, but it holds its own. Fruit sodas are underrated in general, but orange flavored Mountain Dew is darn good.

Jason – I think LiveWire’s taste needs a little tweak. To be quite honest, I’m surprised this flavor hasn’t been discontinued. Never once seen a passer-by partaking in one of these. It’s not the worst flavor, but it is definitely not one that I crave.

Ben – Yeah orange is cool, but literally the third ingredient in classic Mountain Dew is orange juice. Stop trying to ride his wave #Bozo.

13. White Label

Will – Hand up, I’ve never had this. I thought they were trying to be artsy and so I never bothered. Green Label is disgusting and scared me from trying the other flavors. If I’m at a convenience store looking for a drink to cool me down, I’m glossing right over this and looking for real Mountain Dew.

Jason – I am here for this flavor. The white and black label Mtn. Dews are largely unknown to the public, but I really like this one. It’s mysteriously exotic, like that night I spent in Johannesburg where I took some pills and woke up on top of a temple in Sri Lanka.

Ben – I’ve had both White and Black label. I can’t remember what they taste like. I don’t think they were bad though. Points off for making me think this is a 4loko.

14. Black Label

Will – I haven’t had this either, but I wanted it ahead of White Label. I don’t see color and I think I deserve a pat on the back for that. While it’s true I haven’t had White or Black label, I think they must be judged fairly regardless of color. I was young and dumb when I tweeted what I did about black labelled sodas but I have changed. I drink plenty of black labelled sodas!

Jason – This one is good, not great. I usually prefer the lighter colored fruits to the darker colors, and the liquid itself is a dark red/purple. If you haven’t, you should give these a go.

Ben – Apparently Mtn. Dew Green Label is a thing now. Aren’t all Dew labels green?

15. Diet Mountain Dew

Will – I have been brainwashed into thinking this is good. Growing up as a child, I thought that drinking this instead of regular Mountain Dew would make me healthy. I was very wrong. I am very fat. It is not true.

Jason – The one diet pop that manages to not be calorie free. This is the closest thing to radioactive slime that any company produces. I drank plenty of these as a youth because my mom bought them for my dad. I’ve learned since that they’re not actually good tasting. I would still drink one and enjoy it to an extent if that’s all there was.

Ben – Stop lying to yourself, pop is bad. Personally, I prefer mine with more taste and less chemicals. Just take comfort in that each sip will make you die a little bit sooner.

16. Spiked Lemonade

Will – Many layers to unwrap here. First of all, this sounds like an alcoholic beverage. Second, it states that it is non-alcoholic fairly large on the can. Third, I don’t like lemonade. Fourth, prickly pear cactus juice? If I wanted to shred my mouth up like that, I’d invite Bruce Springsteen over for another concert.

Jason – This is also a Mountain Dew that I first tried at a Taco Bell fountain. This one is actually lemonade flavored and I’m truly a fan of it. It has a sharpness to it and a hint of bitterness that makes it one of the more unique Dews.

Ben – The third can on this list that looks like a 4loko knock-off. The lemonade 4loko tastes like battery acid so why would I want to try this?

17. ICE

Will – If I want a lemon lime soda, it’s not going to be a Mountain Dew.

Jason – It’s somewhere between Sierra Mist and Mountain Dew. My roommate thought it was hilarious to hand me the two-liter of this and tell me I was “Iced”. It was funny the first time, not the 15th time.

Ben – Drip-splash like the ice on my wrist. Mountain Dew, I like the Migos, but stop trying to step on 7up’s or Sprite’s turf. They just do lemon-lime better.

18. Caffeine Free

Will – Everything about this sucks. The nasty brown coloring they use for the label and the cap is nauseating, and without caffeine in our Mountain Dew we wouldn’t have this cinematic masterpiece.

Jason – Mountain Dew is for those who would like to damage their bodies and get a jolt of energy in the process. This version is just pointless and has no backbone.

Ben – The O’Douls of Mountain Dew. What’s the point?

19. Sangrita Blast

Will – Every beautiful statue has a dark shadow hiding behind it. Sangrita blast was a Taco Bell exclusive like Baja Blast, but that is the only similarity they have. The whole time we were working on this, we all thought it was ‘Sangria’ blast, and I’m still not convinced that it isn’t.

Jason – I honestly do not remember exactly what this tastes like. It had no business competing with Baja Blast, that’s all I remember. I recall mixing Baja Blast with Sangriya Blast and Mango Brisk from the T-Bell fountain as a favorite suicide.

Ben – Absolute disrespect placing this soda under Diet and Caffeine-Free Dew. It doesn’t deserve it, but who seriously buys this over Baja Blast?

20. Pitch Black

Will – It’s purple.

Jason – I want to like this every time I try it thinking it will get better. I don’t end up finishing it. For some reason there’s just an undrinkable element within, especially out of a fountain. I’ll probably try it again at some point.

Ben – I like it, but no one likes me. So by the transitive property no one thinks this soda is very good.

Our work here is done. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. Let’s all be thankful that we exist at the same time of Mountain Dew and all of its flavors. Next week we’ll either be discussing frozen pizza brands or abortion and the constitutionality of Roe v Wade. Follow us on Twitter @MaierWilliam, @JasonMatcham and @BenGramza for more.