What is it about pregnancy that causes people to lose all manner of wit and decorum? It starts from the second you first share the news.

People see a pregnant belly as a free pass to ask all sorts of personal questions they wouldn’t otherwise dream of uttering aloud. They start out polite enough, wanting to know the sex and if it’s your first, but sometimes things take a sharp turn to, “Was it on purpose?” and, “Wow, you are just about to pop,” and “You know what causes that right? Ha ha ha.” Yes, sir, you’re very funny. Fortunately — or unfortunately, depending on which way you see the glass — the rudeness starts as soon as you share the news, giving you a chance to perfect your steely glare early on. We asked real moms to share the rudest reactions they got to their own pregnancy announcements, and wow. Don’t be that guy. (And while we’re being bossy, don’t touch their bellies without permission.)

Sputtering disbelief

“You are going to have a kid? Wow.” Said to Linda, kick-ass mother of two.

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“You already have your girl and your boy! Why would you mess that up?” Said to Manda, who was unaware of this rule.

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“How are you going to pay for this?” Said to Andrea, a working mother of two.

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“Why did you do that? What were you thinking?” Said to Katie, by her own grandmother.

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“Don’t know when to stop, do you?” Said to mom Kelly, upon announcing her third pregnancy.

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Concerned trolling on behalf of dad

“Is it your husband’s? Are you keeping it?” Said to Sam, who is not, in fact, cheating.

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“Hopefully your husband will get his boy!” Said to Melissa, whose husband adores being a father to a pile of girls.

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“Did he even let you get out of the delivery room?” Said to Kelly, announcing her second pregnancy when her older son was 6 months old.

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“Are you even married?” Said to Gena, whose marital status is none of your business.

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“Will you quit working? Your husband is a lawyer, why would you keep working?” Said to Daisy, who is also a lawyer.

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Unwelcome body observations

“You just really really looked like it.” Said to Margaret, who had not even volunteered that she was with child.

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“I thought your boobs looked bigger!” Said to mom Ashley, who could have maybe just been wearing a new bra.

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“I couldn’t tell if you were pregnant or not. I didn’t want to offend you.” Said to Jean, who pretty much has every right to be offended.

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“Oh, thank God! I thought you were just getting fat.” Said to mom Andrea, because that would be the worst thing ever, apparently.

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“I was wondering why your face was so broken out.” Said to Erin, by her mother, upon learning her first grandchild was on the way.

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Inexplicably horrifying

“But aren’t you gay?” Said to Anne, first-time mom from Chicago who must have used magic or something.

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“What position did you conceive in?” Said to Katrina, in an attempt at guessing the baby’s sex.

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“I hope you know that by choosing to have a baby with your heart defect, you will be dead before the baby is born.” Said to Amanda, who had the full blessing of her cardiologist.

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“Did you buy this one too, or was it a freebie?” Said to Cassie, whose method of conception doesn’t concern you.

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“Well, I’m not sure congratulations are in order here.” Said to Melissa, by someone raised in a barn, probably.

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More on pregnancy

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The hilarious truth about how pregnant women view sex

Couple announces pregnancy through adorable photo trick (VIDEO)