Author’s note:

Hi everybody it’s me your girl Evelyn Bubbles. I’ve been dead for the longest time ever but here I am, to pleasure all of y’all hoes again. For my comeback I wanted something memorable and highly requested, so I can placate your thirst. Here’s my AquariaxCracker. How can we call it? Mizria? Aquacker? Lmao these names… I can’t. Craquaria? AHAHAHAH enjoy

…oh no wait, I found it. Water and Salt. This is the ship’s name. Moving on…

(ATTENTION: female pronouns and drag names used. Exceptionally boy names and male pronouns)



Water and Salt • Chapter One

Waking up after a hangover is one of the worst things that can possibly happen to a person, let alone doing all of this while having a tiny body. I can’t. Too much for poor Max.

I wiggle a little underneath the covers, my eyes semi closed, a ray of sunlight annoyingly enters the room through the curtains. Shit, what time is it?

I can’t remember anything.

I look at the ceiling, opening one eye only, too tired to do the job with both to be honest. This isn’t my house. Great. I have to recall. Where. Am. I.

I try to bring myself up a little bit so I can see more clearly what’s around me, and I have to say this: I succeed.

There’s a guy besides me. Slender and pale, with messy dark hair that covers his wide forehead. I stare at his sleeping face for a hot minute before realizing that I’m in Aquaria’s bed, naked. I think she’s also naked. I don’t know. It’s the most plausible scenario though.

Did we have sex? I’m confused. Very probable.

After doubting my whole existence for quite a few time, I come (ah-ha) to the conclusion that we did in fact have sex, probably after drinking too much. I find my eyes lingering over Aquaria’s young body, and my cheek burn from embarrassment. Am I an old, creepy guy who preys on impressionable twinks? Is she one?

Okay, now I’m just starting to go insane. Focus Maxwell, focus. What happened last night?

My mind is just… foggy, all over. I’m kinda irritated. I must have drunk a lot.

I look at Aquaria once again, and my eyes meet hers: she’s fully staring at me with her dark brown eyes, impenetrable, her lips pressed together as to almost prevent words from coming out of her mouth.

I bring myself on my left side, mirroring her, and suddenly I feel small and vulnerable. She’s much more solid than me, even with her slender appearance.

Suddenly, she smiles, and I nervously smile back. This whole situation is insane. Honestly, I would love to disappear right now.

“You don’t remember what happened last night, do you?”.

I shake my head: “Not really”.

She looks at me once again before turning on her back, facing the ceiling. “Me neither”, Aquaria whispers softly, “But we can try to rucall”.

I laugh at the bad joke: “Yeah. Let’s try this”.



It was a hot night in New York City, unbearably hot. Miz Cracker was laying on the couch, alone, on a Saturday at 9 pm. No Katelyn, no Bob, no no one. Bored. Slightly horny. Horny enough to go on Grindr, just for the sake of it.

She wasn’t a big fan of the app. Casual hookups weren’t her thing, but that night she was so bored she would have prefered to slam her head onto a table corner than doing absolutely nothing, bathed in laziness.

Miz Cracker logged herself in after months of not even thinking about it, and she found a bunch of messages from complete strangers, so old that at the time Blair St.Clair was probably not even born yet. She didn’t have any pictures though, and the info needed to be updated. Versatile bottom? Girl, she thought, what a low self esteem you have. Go for full versatile.

She still needed to add a picture anyways, and taking a selfie half naked was the only way to find herself some nice trade for the night.

She didn’t want to show her face though, imagine someone texting her after watching a season 10 fancast. (That already happened).

She positioned herself slightly better on the couch, lifting her light grey t-shirt all the way to her chest, showing just a bit of nipples but not too much. It was probably one of the most lame and embarrassing things Miz Cracker had ever done. But her body was still fire. She didn’t conquered the karate black belt by lightly caressing the opponents in practice. Yes, Miz Cracker was sweet, pretty and petite, but those abs? she thought, ripped.

After uploading the picture she slided down her t-shirt, grabbed a coke and a snack, and waited.

Aquaria was a Grindr expert, as everyone could have imagined. A 21 years old, alone in NYC, could not survive winter without getting some d. And she was getting the whole alphabet.

That’s why, on that lonely night, praying to the God of Air Conditioning, Aquaria was fully able to text at least six guys at the same time. Chewing on a gum, laying on her stomach on the queen sized bed, she was a femme fatale ready to eat some poor guy’s heart.

Scrolling through the pictures, one caught her eye. The name was “salt”. There was even an attempt of a bio. Interesting. And that body was sculpted, girl. Aquaria licked her lips, texting the Grindr guy only a malicious hi ;).

A few miles away, in a steaming hot apartment, a cellphone suddenly buzzed.

Miz Cracker was expecting to be noticed by someone, maybe one or two guys, but she quickly started receiving flowing notifications. Scrolling through them she decided to focus only on guys with pictures, hoping of course they were real.

A few of them were kinda creepy, while others were actually nice and funny to chat with. For example, one started sending picture of his newly adopted puppy dog. That is cute, Miz thought after clicking on the newest message: a long, porcelain perfect slim body, androgynous almost, completely hairless.

The name: “water96”. Miz texted back, saying hi.

The answer was quick: How are you doing tonight ;)

Nothing special, really… bored, looking for company :)

That makes two of us

It’s what I was hoping for tbh

Oh yeah and why is that so? ;)

Miz hesitated before answering. Oh, fuck it. “water96” didn’t know his real identity.

You’re hot.

Thank you ;)))) you too. The things I would do to your body… wanna meet up?

That was easy… I would like to, very much

I don’t know your face tho. Wanna exchange pics?

I’d rather not. I don’t look good in pictures :(

Miz hated his self conscious ass. But he couldn’t help it.

Aw stop it, I bet you’re very handsome ;) if I don’t know your face how am I gonna know that’s u babe

Let’s meet up at that gay bar on the 112th*. Wear a silly t-shirt. You have one don’t you

Lmao I do. It’s the stupidest. You’re gonna know instantly

Great. At 10 pm? :)

I’m in boo. See you then ;)

Looking forward to ;)

Miz looked at the phone screen, incredule. She had a date! She really had it. Well, it wasn’t a proper date. But whatever, the guy looked cute and seemed nice enough to take proper care of her for the night. She needed to get ready as soon as possible, she wanted to arrive to the bar first so she could, don’t know, drink something to loosen up a bit.

Miz was kinda nervous, being completely honest. Her self consciousness was kinda increasing as the minutes passed, and once she got to the bar she ordered herself a cocktail before even sitting down.

She kept looking at the clock on the wall in front of her, and the barista noticed: “Are you waiting for someone? You’re practically destroying your straw”.

Miz Cracker was seriously swearing from nervousness, and even the air jet that hit her from the top left didn’t help. “Yes, I’m waiting for a date”.

“Oh, and is he cute?”, asked the barista, winking.

Unprepared, she mumbled something like “Yes, no, I don’t know exactly” and kept chewing down on that poor tortured straw. She unbottoned a little bit her shirt, rolling up her sleeves. In that moment, she heard someone entering the place and shouting: “Hey Taylor!” to the barista.

Miz Cracker turned to the door just in time to see Aquaria, wearing an Italians do it better black t-shirt, setting foot in that damned bar at 10 pm exactly.

“Oh, shit”.

It would have been a long night. Neither of them knew yet.

*(1): there’s no gay bar on the 112th, I think. I just googled “streets in Harlem”. You’re welcome.