THE EU has dared to have a list of demands for the Brexit negotiations when it is Britain that will be doing the demanding.

Leaked documents suggest the UK will be asked to pay bills and submit to European court rulings even though it has voted not to and is strong now.

Brexiter Stephen Malley said: “You what? Demands? Does a private make demands of a general?

“They need to get it through their heads that we’re in the driving seat now. We’ve got the whole world to trade with. They want to keep us sweet.

“How they persist in seeing themselves as our equals is baffling. Yes, there might be 27 of them, but we’re Britain. We won the bloody war.”

Brexit minister David Davis agreed: “They really are hopelessly deluded about their status in the world. I pity them.”