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OPINION

I’VE been speaking publicly about my decision to be childfree by choice for five years now. I’m tired of talking about it. I can’t believe in 2016 a woman’s decision about her own body is anyone else’s damn business.

Then, a 30-year-old woman from London won the right to be sterilised so she can be childfree by choice and it was like she’d declared war on mothers all around the world.

This was not a snap decision by writer Holly Brockwell. It took four years to convince her doctor to even give her a referral to a specialist.

She wrote an article recently saying: “It might seem like a drastic choice for a 30-year-old. I was only 26 when I started asking my GP for the procedure, and they reacted the same way as many people that I’ve met since: ‘You’re far too young to even be thinking about this.’ Really? At 26, I’d been legally considered old enough to create new human life for a decade. So why then was I too young to make an equally permanent alternative decision?”

This is such an important point; no one stops a mother and asks if she’s really thought this life long decision through.

So as a journalist, Holly documented her fight to choose not to be a mother. She wrote about it and spoke about it as often as she could. Finally her wish came true and she has been sterilised.

But she was also victimised. Here’s a small taste of the revolting abuse she copped online.

“You’re selfish. You’re naive. You’ll die alone. What’s the point of you, then?”

“How can you deny your parents the grandchildren that you owe them? How can you be so ungrateful that they had you?”

“You’re a waste of a perfectly good womb, and insulting people who couldn’t have children.”

“You’re broken inside. You’re incapable of love. You’re someone who wants to have sex with no consequences. Thank God there’ll be no more of you.”

I nearly cried with compassion when I read those horrible words. I wanted to fly to London and hug her. You see, I have had similar abuse hurled at me online. Simply because I don’t want to be a mother.

I find it so hard to understand why these people feel so passionately about my choice. I feel the people judging and condemning childfree by choice women are the ones acting like selfish, rude, animals.

I want to make one thing very clear, as it’s the slur that hurts and upsets me the most, my decision to not have kids should NEVER be seen as an insult to women who can’t have children. I am very strict on the definition of childfree versus childless.

Childfree is when you actively choose to not have kids. Childless is when you want to have children but circumstances prevent you from becoming a mother. It’s not just semantics there’s a very big difference. My heart breaks for the childless. But I love being childfree.

I am not selfish. I don’t hate kids. I simply don’t want what so many other people want. If we all wanted the same things life would be incredibly dull.

I support Holly’s decision to be sterilised. It’s her decision. I choose to have a contraceptive implant and be on the pill so there is no chance of an accidental pregnancy. That’s my choice. I’m still not sure why it’s anyone’s business.

So no matter how tired I am about talking about my intentionally barren uterus, I realise the conversation has to continue until childfree by choice women are actually heard and accepted in society.

Instead of demonising women who are childfree by choice what about celebrating diversity in our community?

Some of the most impressive women on the planet are childfree by choice including; Oprah Winfrey, Dame Helen Mirren, Ellen DeGeneres, Dolly Parton, Condoleezza Rice, Elizabeth Gilbert and Diane Sawyer. In Australia the childfree ranks include Julia Gillard, Kerri-Anne Kennerley and Ricki-Lee Coulter.

And guess what? Equally, some of the most impressive women on the planet ARE mothers.

So let’s celebrate all women.

Let’s celebrate choice.

Shelly Horton is a journalist and founder of ShellShocked Media. Follow her on Twitter @shellyhorton1