A million hearts across Los Angeles and Manhattan broke this week when reports that SoulCycle and Equinox owner Stephen Ross would hold a fundraiser for President Trump. Needless to say, Hollywood was hardest hit.



I rode with SoulCycle for more than 5 years. To think the money I spent on your classes went into the pockets of Stephen Ross and therefore fundraisers for the likes of Donald Trump are unacceptable. As long as he owns you, I will not be riding. #StephenRoss https://t.co/FdLkhzMed7 — Amber Tamblyn (@ambertamblyn) August 7, 2019

I am a freak who loves @soulcycle. it genuinely makes me feel good and excited about my body and my health. that being said, the loser owner supports trump and I didn’t know that! so I will no longer take classes there. sharing bc I had no idea & maybe u didn’t either! fuck that. — Mitra Jouhari (@tweetrajouhari) August 7, 2019



Jokes about Michael Moore fitting his derriere on a SoulCycle bicycle aside, you shouldn't flush your money down the drain at SoulCycle anyways – not because it's expensive, but because it's a bad workout for people who want the exclusivity of an overpriced gym without any of the actual gain or pain of a real workout.

As a purely mathematical question, SoulCycle posits a terrible return on your investment. To retain its air of elitism, the company refuses to partner with Class Pass or any popular program allowing less wealthy patrons to try out a variety of gyms at a slightly reduced rates. A single SoulCycle class in New York City costs $36 for a 45-minute class, yet the actual workout itself is weak.

SoulCycle fails to produce any meaningful strength training or core toning, but even if you're just trying to lose weight, it still doesn't give you good bang for your buck. Based on a number of estimations, SoulCycle burns just 300 to 600 calories, even though it advertises burning 500 to 700 calories per session. For reference, you burn about 500 calories in 45 minutes of merely walking up a treadmill at an easy 10 or 11% incline at a brisk pace, and you can do that with a discount gym membership. An hour of jogging at a pace of ten minutes per mile burns around 700 calories, and you can do that for free.

But more alarmingly, SoulCycle might be messing with your genitals.

No, I'm not kidding. The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that cycling classes with low handlebars damage the pelvic floor and compresses nerves and arteries in the nether regions. For men, SoulCycle may lead to erectile dysfunction. In contrast, simple squats and glute bridges strengthen the pelvic floor, and you just need a weight or a basement gym to do those.

Of all the stupidity stemming from the Stephen Ross news cycle, the dumbest is the notion that you should even have a SoulCycle membership to cancel to begin with.