Ched Evans to get Oldham FC drunk and sign for them anyway

Despite claims to the contrary, convicted rapist Ched Evans will today sign for Oldham FC today after plying the club with enough alcohol that he can sign a contract with them anyway.

Evans, who has been the target of a campaign from Oldham supporters keen to see the club pass on the opportunity to sign him, said that at no point did the club make it clear they didn’t want him to sign the contract.

Evans told reporters, “Oldham were willingly in the room with me, and yes, they had a few drinks, definitely – but at no point did they explicitly say ‘no – I don’t want to sign that contract with you’.”

“I’m not denying the contract was signed, just that I in any way forced them to sign it.”

“They signed it of their own free will – them now saying they didn’t want to now is a bit late, don’t you think?”

Evans to sign for Oldham anyway

A spokesperson for the League One club said were unhappy that the contract had been signed without their consent.

They told reporters, “In the cold light of day, we did not want to sign a contract with Ched Evans, but it seems that’s what happened anyway.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t have been in the room with him, or have had those extra drinks he offered us, but I don’t think that gives him the right to just go ahead and sign a contract with us, does it?”

“The problem is that now you all think we invited this on ourselves, rather than focussing on the one with the pen in his hand.”

Evans is expected to make his debut at the weekend, whether selected or not.