Hull may have embarrassed Arsenal at the Emirates when it was all going swimmingly back there, but they've only won one of their last 14 Premier League matches. They've also conceded 20 goals in ten home games, which is relegation form alright. And they've just been snubbed by Luis Boa Morte. Oh dear. It might be time for careful consideration of THE FOUR STAGES OF MANAGING HULL:

1. Supreme confidence

2. Supreme confidence leads to addition of SexxBeard and electronic lug accoutrement

3. Questioning of supreme confidence. Collective soul-searching and group bonding aided by progressive use of on-pitch barstool philosophy techniques ("And another thing..."). Jettisoning of SexxBeard

4. Resigned acceptance

Hull's latest fiasco begins to unfold at: 5.30pm. Or can they turn their sorry form - and their season - around?

The ladies and gentlemen of the KC Stadium, for the first and possibly the last time, will this evening be putting their hands together in appreciation of Mr Kevin Kilbane: Myhill, Doyle, Turner, Ricketts, Kilbane, Mendy, France, Ashbee, Halmosi, Geovanni, Cousin.

Subs: Duke, Dawson, Garcia, Folan, Fagan, Manucho, Giannakopoulos.

Arsenal, who really need to win after those hard-fought victories for Manchester United, Chelsea and Aston Villa: Almunia, Sagna, Toure, Djourou, Clichy, Eboue, Diaby, Denilson, Nasri, Adebayor, Van Persie. Subs: Fabianski, Vela, Ramsey, Song Billong, Bendtner, Gibbs, Merida.

Whistle, cymbal, jazz flute, etc: Alan Wiley (Staffordshire)

And we're off! And after 11 seconds, Hull win a corner, Sagna deflecting Halmosi's attempted cross behind the line.

52 seconds: And now Hull have already taken two corners. Geovanni's second effort fizzes through the six-yard box, but there's nobody there in yellow and black. This is quite a start from Hull.

2 min: Mendy tries to turn Clichy down the right wing. He's scythed down by the Arsenal defender, who comes across about two seconds too late. He should be booked for that crude challenge, but the ref decides a ticking off will suffice.

4 min: Arsenal are all over the shop here. Hull are simply flinging long balls forward, and none of them are being properly dealt with. This time Geovanni gets on the end of a huge punt - and for a second strides clear towards the box! His shot is weak and hopeless, though, dragged miles to the right at barely 1mph. In fairness to Arsenal, it looked as though four Hull players were offside as their back line pushed up, but they don't look particularly convincing so far.

6 min: Denilson tries to break upfield but gives the ball away to Doyle, who takes a wallop goalwards from 25 yards. It's straight at Almunia.

8 min: Adebayor rips past two pathetic challenges down the left. He's in the box with a chance to shoot, albeit from a tight angle, but he elects to drift further out wide, then turn back. The attack peters out. That was better from Arsenal, though not much.

10 min: Hull's tactic - lumping the ball forward in the hope of Cousin, Geovanni or Halmosi getting on the end of it - is getting old.

13 min: Van Persie hits a free kick, from a central position 30-odd yards out. There was no way he was going to score directly from there, but a deflection off Turner wrongfoots Myhill and whistles just wide of the left-hand post.

14 min: There hasn't been much to excite anyone so far, though this was a nice exchange: Eboue takes the ball up in his own half and rushes, right to left, 40 yards upfield, evading three challenges. He's eventually caught, at which point Mendy rampages down the right, sashaying past two red shirts before losing control after a fashion.

18 min: Geovanni loops the ball down the left towards Halmosi, who is bundled over. That's a free kick. And it's destined to be a terrible one, despite being taken from a dangerous position just to the side of the area. Geovanni hoofs it way too far up in the air, and too close to Almunia, allowing the Arsenal keeper to leap up and claim. The idea was obviously to put the keeper under pressure with a high ball as the big lads raced in, but the execution was appalling.

20 min: Cousin is illegally stopped in his tracks, five yards outside the Arsenal box, just to the right of the D. Geovanni takes the opportunity to waste another decent free-kick opportunity, walloping the ball straight into the wall with a total lack of wit.

24 min: This is a real non-event so far. I've just counted that, on the new keyboards the Guardian have given us, there are 15 function keys - plus an additional 40 "P" keys (the "P" presumably standing for "pfunction". What's the point? I have never, since the days of taking receipt of a VIC-20, used a function key on a computer in my life. Not one, not once. So why do I need 55?

26 min: My Setanta feed went down for nearly two minutes. It took me almost one of those minutes to notice.

28 min: SOMETHING HAPPENS!!! Eboue diddles down the inside-right channel and is upended by Ashbee. Van Persie takes the free kick, just outside the right-hand corner of the box... and it is simply fantastic, being hammered with pace, right towards the top-left corner. But Myhill fingertips spectacularly, pushing the effort onto the crossbar, it pinging back into the box at high velocity. The ball's bundled out for a corner with Adebayor lurking. Nothing happens from it, but what a strike, what a save. That's much better, everyone.

30 min: AND NOW SOMETHING REALLY HAPPENS!!! GOAL! Hull 0-1 Arsenal. Arsenal win another corner on their right. Van Persie swings a delicious cross towards Adebayor who, level with the far post and on the edge of the six-yard box, guides a powerful header back across goal and into the right-hand corner. That's a great corner, and you don't often see those in the Premier League these days.

32 min: A bout of head tennis in the Hull area comes to naught. This is all Arsenal, all of a sudden.

34 min: Hull throw a long ball into the Arsenal area. Unfortunately for them, they neglect to throw any of their players into it too. The result is a massive waste of everyone's time. Hull are abject, this is real relegation stuff.

37 min: Nasri slides an exquisite ball into the area from the left. With his back to goal, Adebayor traps it and turns in one swirl, clips it across the area to Eboue who, in acres of space, sidefoots wide. Oh dear. That really should have been 2-0.

41 min: This has suddenly gone flat again, though in fairness there was nearly a goal four minutes ago, so perhaps I should give it a chance. "You'll probably get a lot of computer geeks falling over themselves to tell you this, since lots of us are following the footy whilst we should be working on a Saturday," begins Julian Le Saux, professional employer cheater, "but you can customise those function keys, you know. Some programmes have them ready-customised: for example, I'm working on a clinical system called EMIS which calls up the Patient Find dialogue if you click F9. But you can also customise them yourself. Let's imagine you've got a certain string of keystrokes which you use over and over again - 'Arsene Wenger has got the funk on'. You automate that string using a bit of open-source software such as AutoHotKey. Then all you have to do every time you see Arsene with that pained expression on hisface is press F12, say, and like magic the words 'Arsene Wenger has got the funk on' appear in your piece, allowing you to chomp another mouthful of pork pie in the time you've saved." Eh? Automatic string? What on earth are you on about? And I don't have a pork pie. WHERE'S MA PORK PIE?

43 min: Eboue has a dig from 25 yards out. It's charged down, loops into the air, and is easily gathered by Myhill. Apart from that combination between Nasri and Adebayor down the left, Arsenal haven't been particularly impressive in open play. But Hull have been abysmal.

HALF TIME: Hull 0-1 Arsenal. Praise be to Jesus that there was only one added minute of that.

And we're off again! Arsenal set the ball rolling again. It's not long before Myhill has it in his hands and is launching it aimlessly upfield. Meanwhile Mark Rowlands has very kindly sent me a pork pie. Well, I say kindly. Here's your bloody pie, now get on with it. That does indeed look like a lovely pie, but having flicked around that site, pork pies are yesterday's news. I've had my head turned by this three-bird banquet, a mere snip at £105, or this Jabugo ham stand and knife set (£600). Though I'm simple folk, and can't quite work out whether you get the ham as part of the package. I'm assuming you do. You'd feel short-changed if you didn't.

47 min: Slightly better from Hull, this, as Mendy tears down the right and sends a low cross into the centre. There's nobody coming in for the home side, though, and Arsenal deal with the danger without much fuss.

49 min: Ricketts fails to deal with a bouncing bomb down the inside left channel. He's turning and hasn't a clue where the ball is as it sails into the box. Van Persie is on his shoulder - but just as he looks like bustling clear on goal, a needless tug at Ricketts concedes a free kick. Van Persie shrugs ostentatiously to protest his innocence, but Hull were all over the place there, and that was a bit daft.

51 min: Arsenal are pinning Hull back. Adebayor has a blast from the left-hand corner of the area. It's straight at Myhill, who parries clear.

52 min: A clever ball from Diaby sends Eboue clear down the right. The subsequent attempt at a cross is the worst in the history of All Football, the ball being shanked cluelessly and at great pace towards the back rows of the stand behind the goal.

54 min: Thing is, Hull are still only one goal behind, so despite this appalling display, they're right in it. With this in mind, Manucho, on loan from Manchester City, comes on for Halmosi.

56 min: Manucho's first contribution is to take receipt of the ball out right, shift it cleverly between his feet, and allow himself to be flipped into the air like an egg by Clichy. The free kick is in a dangerous position just to the right of the area, but with the box packed, Kilbane scuffs a hilariously bad low ball towards Arsenal's first man - and that is that. "Eboue, Denilson and Diaby are entirely out of their depth," opines Sacha Brady. Sacha must regularly take one look at Arsenal's midfield, then his own surname, and weep.

58 min: That should have been a penalty for Hull. Manucho is chasing after a high ball in the area. As he heads it into the centre from the left, Djourou trundles in and takes his man out completely. Manucho lies prone on the floor, having been preposterously barged over onto it. How that's not been given I'll never know. The change seems to have given Hull a second wind. Well, a first wind, really, but you know what I mean.

62 min: Manucho has already got a huge lump under his eye as a result of that nonsense of a challenge by Djourou.

63 min: Arsenal are a wee bit rattled here. They try to push Hull back, but Van Persie, swinging his hips with the ball at his feet, is robbed by Geovanni, who races off until he's hacked down by the Arsenal forward 0.00004 seconds later. That could easily have been a booking, but referee Alan Wiley seems to be in the mood to do nothing whatsoever this afternoon.

65min: THIS WAS COMING, IF ONLY FOR TEN MINUTES OR SO: Hull 1-1 Arsenal. Down the right, Mendy gets on the end of a long crossfield ball. He's given time to cross, as Clichy backs off. The ball into the box is slightly deflected and finds Cousin in the centre, who confidently crashes a header past Almunia. This is on!

67 min: Now Clichy bundles Mendy over down the right. Kilbane sends a free kick towards the far post, but Almunia claims with ease. Arsenal are shaking here, that fourth Champions League spot looking ever more distant.

69 min: Eboue, the victim of another smattering of boos from his own fans, is replaced by Bendtner. It's pelting it down at the KC.

71 min: Mendy is totally owning Clichy down the right. He's skinned once again, and responds by sliding in late. That's a yellow card.

72 min: Now it's Arsenal's turn to be all over the shop. The free kick, essentially a corner on the right, is pulled back to Doyle, who sends a clever outswinger in the vague direction of the far post. Diaby is forced to flick the ball clear with two Hull men waiting to pounce. This is an impressive second-half display from Hull, who have been terrible for weeks and weren't any better in the first half. Now they look the better side.

74 min: Clichy is beaten yet again by Mendy down the right. Mendy bursts into the box but, before he can deliver the ball into the centre, falls over his own feet (with the help of a light shove in the back from the chasing Clichy). This time that's a goal kick. Clichy has been awful today, and not for the first time this season either.

76 min: Van Persie drags a 30-yard free kick effort well wide left. That's the best Arsenal have done for 25 minutes or so, and it wasn't up to much. The rain, as a result of the wind, is now almost horizontal.

79 min: After good strong hold-up play by Manucho, Mendy once again gives Clichy the runaround down the right. Hull eventually over-elaborate, but this is getting embarrassing, quite frankly.

80 min: Bendtner picks the ball up on the right and moves into the box. Van Persie is in acres in the centre, and screaming for the ball, but Bendtner elects to drop a shoulder and make for the byline. He gets a powerful shot in, but it's a tight angle and easily parried by Myhill. Van Persie does not look totally happy with this chain of events.

81 min: Ashbee is booked for his 15th or 20th minor foul of the afternoon.

82 min: GOAL!!! Hull 1-2 Arsenal. Well, against the overall run of play, Arsenal go ahead. And what a lovely goal. With his back to goal in the D just outside the area, Van Persie keeps the ball a second and draws Doyle towards him from the left. That provides space for Nasri, who is found by Van Persie with a superb reverse pass and fires a delicious low shot across Myhill and into the bottom right corner.

83 min: Phil Brown responds. France is replaced by Fagan.

85 min: GOAL!!! Hull 1-3 Arsenal. This has been a struggle, but it suddenly looks so easy. Bendtner bustles straight towards the area, lays the ball out wide to Van Persie, who gives it straight back, the one-two allowing Bendtner to sweep home. The goal shouldn't have stood, though: Van Persie was offside. Factor in Hull's penalty shout, and the home side will consider themselves unlucky here.

88 min: Garcia replaces Geovanni. This is over. Time for a pun? "If you have to describe Mendy beating his man any more times," chirps Ian Copestake, "it may become a Clichy." Ladies and gentlemen, he'll be here all week. Thankfully, the week is just about over.

90 min: Cousin miskicks. Arsenal switch off, so when the ball's hooked back into the centre, Garcia is allowed a clear header, eight yards out. He elects to find Manucho, lurking at the left-hand post, and the danger is gone.

90 min +2: Clichy does something right for once: a peach of a cross from the left towards Bendtner, who hammers his header onto the left-hand post and out, when it was surely easier to score.

FULL TIME: Hull City 1-3 Arsenal. The first half was terrible, the second highly entertaining. Hull looked the better side for much of that second period, but it was Arsenal suddenly upped a gear towards the end. They stay in fifth, three points behind Aston Villa. Tottenham Hotspur, they will note, are at the bottom. Hull's slide continues, meanwhile, but that was a much better display, Mendy the star of the show, so it's not all bad.