Lifestyle The 99 problems with Nashville

Nashvillians are proud of their city, and rightly so -- but nobody, and no city, is perfect. Even Music City has its fair share of problems; in fact, it has precisely 99 of them... 1. The future public transit system, whichever side you’re on

2. Injury law commercials

3. The Titans since Fisher left

4. The new Sounds logo

5. The pollen count

6. Natives being told they're "rare"

7. The fact that that's true

8. Tearing down historic Music Row property to build luxury hotels and condos

9. Apparently, our scariest defense is Ben Folds

10. Lack of late-night places besides bad strip clubs

11. No hats in MStreet, but douchebags are okay

12. Conjoined twin housing

13. Green Hills Mall dress code (implied)

14. Church traffic

15. Church traffic cones

16. Aggressive church traffic cops

17. Knowing how much cops are paid to conduct church traffic

18. The SoBro debate

19. You didn’t get nominated for a Grammy AGAIN

20. You can’t tell if you’re more pissed about being on Lower Broad or that Affliction and Ed Hardy seem to still be in business

21. Conversations that start “Wanna come to my EP release?"

22. Conversation that end "We should write sometime".

23. Bus drivers aim for potholes

24. Vanderbilt parent's weekend

25. Hillsboro Rd will always be two lanes, even after we have flying cars

26. Realizing you can't afford property in a sketchy neighborhood

27. Despite Private Lives of Nashville Wives and Crazy Hearts, people still come up to you and say they're in talks for a reality show. And they're dead serious.

28. Briley Pkwy construction that started in 1986 and still hasn't finished

29. Traffic check-in points on social media

30. Belle Meade cops pulling you over for going 35.5 mph in a 35 zone

31. We still mourn Starwood

32. Nashville lawmakers implement a 10ft rule, because in a strip club, 3ft is just too close

33. Instead, they go to massage parlors in Green Hills. Or did.

34. Or they go to Bordeaux for escorts because Dickerson Pike is too main stream

35. Schools close for excessive rain, not snow

36. Snowbird, it’s a love-hate relationship

37. TMZ opened an office here to "cover" breaking "news". Like drunk songwriters in bars.

38. Bull crap celebrity sightings

39. Those who still believe Johnny Depp is moving to town

40. We tore Starwood down right before the festival craze hit and have replaced it with nothing

41. No Uber/Lyft drivers live here or have any idea where anything is

42. CMA Fest and having to avoid Downtown like the plague the entire week

43. The Nashville fairgrounds haven't had an update since 1938

44. Instead, Santa's Pub is the biggest draw to the neighborhood

45. Nashville, where malls go to die

46. Cicadas

47. Country rap

48. Taylor left country music

49. NashVegas

50. People who say NashVegas

51. People who say Nashville's the new LA

52. People who say Nashville is Austin 10 years ago

53. A food festival that costs a month's rent

54. Horse-drawn carriages still hauling tourists through the most congested areas of Downtown

55. Paddleboarding/swimming in the Cumberland

56. In 20 years, we will still have Eddie George's picture on the Titans' stadium

57. Our only championship that anyone can remember is Vandy baseball

58. There isn’t a Bushwacker cleanse

59. Sunday Funday is one day a week

60. Google Fiber still isn't here

61. Unless you have bored kids in the summer, your likelihood of seeing the zoo is attending a beer festival there

62. Parking Downtown

63. Paying for parking Downtown to take your visiting relatives down Broadway

64. Building more high-rises in order to sell 34% occupancy

65. Nashville International-by-way-of-a-connection Airport

66. That massive hole between Broadway and West End that no one seems to want to claim anymore

67. The more microbreweries that open in Nashville, the more your beer order gets judged at the bar

68. Costume 5ks

69. Tourists on Segways or Pedal Taverns or crosswalks or walking in general

70. Our first encounter with hot chicken is more recent than we'd like to admit

71. Most of us don’t know the name of the Demonbreun roundabout statue

72. “Who farted at the orgy?” seemed more appropriate than learning the real name

73. The Hot/Crazy Women and the Hot/Broke Men Matrix from that Franklin lawyer on YouTube perfectly explains dating an aspiring musician

74. Boxers in skinny jeans

75. Rooting for The Titans? Hahaha.

76. Instead of their number, you received a free download to their new song on iTunes

77. And an invitation to their EP release