If you ever want to get a good laugh, then play any game online.

Lately, I’ve been playing NBA 2K19 online via my PlayStation. NBA 2K20 comes out on Friday, so I gotta get ready for that, right? Although I’m not very good at the game, I’m decent enough. To me, anyone who understands basketball can play. Or so I thought.

Online basketball gaming is an entirely different ball game (no pun intended). You have to understand glitches in the game, the mechanics of shooting, how to play D, what people to pair your player with for optimum maximization, etc. I had to revert into a 12-year-old and look up YouTubers to explain this stuff to me! Gaming used to be so simple. Are you open? Shoot the ball. Pass it to the open man. Simplicity can be so much fun! Now, it’s all about builds and being an elite park player. Through it all, one thing remains a constant.

Losing brings out the worst in people! But it’s so funny!

Seriously, I’ve never seen so many people who are so focused on winning a game with nothing at stake. Because I’m indifferent (I want to win, but it won’t kill me if I lose), I’ve been able to sit back and identify the three stages of losing from uber competitive people.

Irritation

This is the beginning stage of losing. There’s still time to turn things around and win the game. However, things aren’t going how they should. People are not making smart plays. They aren’t guarding their man (I hear this one a lot). The guard keeps turning the ball over. There’s a plethora of occurrences that can send one into irritation mode. You can usually hear this stage come to life as ImDatBoi decides to turn his mic on and scold the team.

“Man, who’s man is that? Guard your man yo! Number 10! Guard your man!”

This is only the beginning…..

Anger

ImDatBoi is no longer down by five. He’s down by 20, and it just keeps getting worse. It’s clear his teammates are terrible, and he’s the only one who really knows how to play the game. “Have these dudes ever played basketball in real life? Am I playing with seven-year-olds?,” he muses. ImDatBoi has had enough of the nonsense.

*Cuts mic on*

“Man……… GUARD YOUR MAN!!!! Y’ALL ARE SO TRASH BRO! YOU’RE CHEEKS FAM!! GARBAGE!! JUST QUIT THE GAME! I’m getting all greens by myself! It’s tragic! These dudes don’t have no IQ.”

There’s nothing funnier to me than when someone starts talking about basketball IQ in a video game. Of course, there are common sense plays to make in basketball. It’s not rocket science. But sometimes the game glitches. Sometimes you hit the wrong button. Sometimes there’s a lag. Things happen because video games and the internet are not perfect.

Acceptance

ImDatBoi has reverted from yelling to sighing. All hope is lost. His team is down by 30 in the 4th quarter of a noneventful Jordan Rec Center game. His Pure Sharpshooting point guard hero ball tactics have yielded minimal results. But hey, at least he’s 20/27 shooting right? The loss is inevitable, but it is in no way his fault. He is now providing commentary on the tragedy that is his team.

*Sighs* “So you just throw the ball out of bounds instead of passing it to the man right in front of you, huh? Trash, man. Oh, so we’ll just let him run past you and score?” *Sighs again*

Defeat has reared its ugly head.

This just for NBA 2K, but every game has it’s nuances. With it come the hotheads who believe life is hanging in the balance of winning that 5-20 minute game. Play online. Lose a game. I guarantee you’ll run into an ImDatBoi, and you’ll be able to identify the stages of losing.