How would you like to watch a Scooby-Doo travelogue? With Scooby-Doo! And the Legend of the Vampire, we get a direct-to-video that is pretty much that, a movie that not only is a return to the “dudes in masks” format — so no actual zombies, witches, or aliens in this outing — but much of the run-time is filled with what comes across as a visit to Australia promotional film: “Come for the vampires, stay for Sydney Opera House,” and the mystery itself is a bit of a letdown. Gone is the darker style of Mook Animation Inc. — the animation house behind the four direct-to-video movies that started with Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island and ended with Cyber Chase — instead we have the flatter and brighter animation style of the What’s New, Scooby-Doo? series. This is definitely a step back in quality.

This outing finds Mystery Incorporated on vacation — if it’s possible to go on vacation when you don’t actually have jobs — taking a cruise ship to Australia, and while on board, they will solve the mystery of the “Sea Serpent Smugglers.” It will, of course, turn out to be a bunch of dudes in masks, but that’s a return to form I’d have let slide if it had explained how this gang of mystery solvers could afford a trip to Australia. We’ve still never seen them being paid for any unmasking of crooks, so I’d like to believe that this cruise line hired Mystery Incorporated to expose this smuggling plot, as it would also help explain how Fred (Frank Welker) could afford to have the bloody Mystery Machine shipped along with them. Once they arrive in Australia, we spend a little time sightseeing in Sydney, where Velma (Nicole Jaffe) will point out the Sydney Harbor Bridge as “The world’s largest freestanding bridge,” and then Shaggy (Casey Kasem) would remark on the strange design of the Sydney Opera House, all before they settle down at Bondi Beach for some surfing and barbequing, just so we can see Daphne (Heather North) get hit on by some Aussies, and Shaggy and Scooby can be attacked by a shark.

This would have been so much better if this turned out to be Jabberjaw.

After that fun in the sun, the gang decides to venture into the Outback to take in more Australian sights as well as check out the Vampire Rock Music Festival. Needless to say, Shaggy is less inclined to attend anything with “Vampire” in the title. Velma is quick to assure Shaggy that vampires aren’t real, despite the gang having met Dracula himself in previous adventures, but assurances aside, things don’t look too good for this music festival. Turns out, an ancient Australian vampire called Yowie Yahoo — an actual Australian vampire legend, but also about the stupidest name for a monster I’ve come across — is kidnapping any band that dares to enter the contest. Daniel Illiwara (Phil LaMarr), the festival’s manager, doesn’t believe in vampires, but as the movie goes on, and bands either are snatched by flying vampires or cancel out of fear of the same happening to them, he starts to wonder if the legends are true.

Note

As mysteries go, the one we get with Scooby-Doo! And the Legend of the Vampire isn’t all that great, as the script ladles on this big backstory dealing with the previous year’s Vampire Rock Festival, where we are told a glam rock group called Wildwind disappeared when they went camping up on Vampire Rock, after coming in third place at the festival. Could their disappearance have something to do with the attacks by Yowie Yahoo and his vampire minions? Of course it does, but we still have to trot out a bunch of suspects. First, we have Jasper (Jeff Bennett) who managed Wildwind before their disappearance, and now he’s back at the Vampire Rock Festival, desperate to see his latest group win the contest. Then we have Daniels’ grandfather, Malcolm Illiwara (Kevin Michael Richardson) who believes that the festival has angered Yowie Yahoo, which makes no sense when you take into account that the big bad vampire didn’t attack last year’s festival. Next, we have Daniel’s assistant Russell (Michael Neill), who points out that the three vampires minions with Yowie Yahoo look just like the members of Wildwind.

Ziggy Stardust meets the Vampire Lestat.

Who is behind the vampiric attacks is never in question, but once again, the mechanics behind the hoax are completely unbelievable — mountain climbing gear, wind machines, and holograms do not explain the visual stunts these villains pull off — and the big reveal as the identity of the culprits is only interesting because it involves a double unmasking. So, the writers of the Wayne’s World movie could totally sue them. Did I mention that the Hex Girls from Scooby-Doo and the Witch’s Ghost are performing at this festival? Well, for some strange reason, the Hex Girls are performing at the Vampire Rock Festival but not competing, and the most critical thing I can say about Scooby-Doo! And the Legend of the Vampire is that they are completely wasted in this movie. They aren’t even given the chance to compete.

Note: Having the Hex Girls appear in a movie where the monsters aren’t real kind of handicaps the premise a tad, because on the one hand, you have Velma saying “Vampires aren’t real” — even though in the past, the Scooby gang has totally run into the actual Dracula — and then on the other you have Thorn (Jennifer Hale) standing on stage, who is an honest to goodness witch, so it’s hard to discount the supernatural out of hand. Sadly, we later see her and her bandmates being kidnapped by Yowie Yahoo — who is revealed to be fake — yet she doesn’t think to use her magic to combat the hoax. WTF?

Stray Observations:

• The opening shark attack ends after it manages to move up the sandy beach and eat Fred’s barbeque. Seriously, even for a cartoon, this is stupid.

• The trope of “Danger-Prone Daphne” returns as she repeatedly falls through secret passageways.

• Velma loses her glasses while fleeing the vampires because of course she does.

• The group is menaced by a pack of evil-looking dingoes that look a lot like the hyenas from The Lion King.

• Fred is rock stupid in this movie, clues practically fall at his feet, but he still insists on considering the vampire threat to be real, right up until the big reveal.

• Also, Fred is the king of pointing out the bloody obvious, he states to Daniel “The Hex Girls are in trouble,” while the girls are being lifted into the air by the giant vampire.

Thanks for coming out Fred, you suck.

The only positive thing I can say about Scooby-Doo! And the Legend of the Vampire is that it was kind of nice having the original voice cast back for this outing, having not been together since 1973, with only Don Messick, the original voice of Scooby, missing due to his death in 1997. That aside, the movie just isn’t all that engaging; the animation on display here is flat and uninspired, the mystery itself was obvious as well as ludicrous — we get a supposed hologram throwing fireballs that can obliterate rocks — and the misuse of the Hex Girls is a crime all on its own, all adding up to a rather lackluster Scooby-Doo adventure. Skip this movie and throw some shrimp on the barbie instead.

Note: In this movie, our heroes have to go undercover as a rock band, which is neat considering the original concept for the show that would become Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! dealt with five teenagers and their bongo-playing dog solving mysteries when not performing gigs.

Scooby-Doo! And the Legend of the Vampire (2003) 5.5/10 Movie Rank - 5.5/10 5.5/10 Summary With Scooby-Doo! And the Legend of the Vampire the studio took a major step back from the four previous direct-to-video movies; back to fake ghosts and gone was the truly horrific nature of movies like Zombie Island and The Witch’s Ghost, leaving us a rather forgettable entry.