[To listen to the audio version, click here: Bacon_final_President_Gee_for_web_with_open_for_6-7-2013]

Ohio State University president Gordon Gee’s ability to put money in the bank – both his and his university’s — was equaled only by his ability to put his foot in his mouth. Well, this week he was finally fired – er, retired. Entirely voluntarily, of course. Not pushed at all. Nooooo.

Over his long career as president of West Virginia, Colorado, Brown, Vanderbilt and Ohio State — twice — Gee has raised billions of dollars, while delivering a seemingly endless stream of gaffes, slanders and just plain stupid comments, which culminated in his unexpected departure.

In politics, they say, when a man is busy shooting himself in the foot, don’t grab the gun. In that spirit, I’ll let the man’s words speak for themselves.

In 1992, when the Buckeyes ended their four-game losing streak against Michigan with a 13-13 tie, and Gee said, “This tie is one of our greatest wins ever.” Ooo-kay.

But Gee really got on a roll starting in 2010, when he said that, unlike Boise State and Texas Christian University, “We do not play the Little Sisters of the Poor.” That little gem prompted him to pay the Little Sisters of the Poor — which, it turns out, really exists. But he claimed his check to the charity was completely unrelated. Just a nice guy.

The next year, 2011, when football coach Jim Tressel was being investigated, a student reporter asked Gee if he might fire the popular coach. President Gee replied, “No, are you kidding? Let me just be very clear. I’m just hopeful the coach doesn’t dismiss me.” Sad fact is, I think he meant it.

Gee followed that in 2012, when he said managing Ohio State’s 18 colleges was similar to leading a Polish army – which, for some reason, a Polish-American group found offensive. Go figure.

Last week a tape emerged in which Gee insults pretty much everybody he’d somehow missed the previous two decades, including Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany, who Gee said was so “aggressive” in his pursuit of money, “we need to make certain he keeps his hands out of our pockets.”

He added that the Big Ten would never invite Louisville to join the league because it lacks “academic integrity,” then went after the entire Southeastern Conference: “You tell the SEC when they learn to read and write, then they can figure out what we’re doing” in the Big Ten.

But wasn’t done. He hit his highlight when somebody asked him why Notre Dame wasn’t invited to join the Big Ten. “The Fathers are holy on Sunday,” he replied, “and they’re holy hell the rest of the week. You just can’t trust those damn Catholics on a Thursday or a Friday, and so, literally, I can say that.” Yes, literally, he said that.

Not surprisingly, he spent this week apologizing to all of the above, while canceling a commencement speech at a Catholic high school. Probably a good idea.

He also released an official statement: “I recently returned from a vacation with my family, during which time I had a chance to consider the university’s phenomenal achievements and the road that lies ahead for it.”

That’s pretty nice. But that’s not all he thought about. No.

“I also spent some time in self-reflection. And after much deliberation, I have decided it is now time for me to turn over the reins of leadership to allow the seeds that we have planted to grow.”

But just in case you cynics out there were wondering, he repeatedly maintained that his sudden retirement had nothing to do with his comments.

And that was the best whopper of them all.

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Please join the conversation, but remember: I run only those letters from those who are profane or insane, and who include their FULL name.

Radio stuff: On Friday mornings, these commentaries run at 8:50 on Michigan Radio (91.7 Ann Arbor/Detroit, Flint, 104.1 Grand Rapids), and a few minutes later, I join Sam Webb and Ira Weintraub LIVE from 9:05 to 9:25 on WTKA.com, 1050 AM.

On Sunday mornings, from the start of football season to the end of March Madness, I co-host “Off the Field” with the legendary Jamie Morris on WTKA from 10-11 a.m. And yes, there will be a quiz, so “stop what you’re doing, and listen!”

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