“Say your word and move on.” This is what Jamal Khashoggi used to say after he chose exile far away from his homeland and his family.

He was a profound believer in his mission as a journalist. He vehemently refused to be designated as an opponent of his country’s leaders, not because he lacked courage, but because of his respect for the ethics of the profession that taught him to be fair and balanced: he recognised the virtues of the Saudi regime when it did good but refused to remain silent when he saw what warranted criticism.

In a world that believes in freedom of speech, Khashoggi’s ethos is that of a respectable journalist. Yet, as far as Saudi Arabia’s rulers are concerned, being fair and balanced is an act of treason deserving of death. In such a country, you should be full of praise for every action undertaken, or speech uttered, by the ruler so as to be spared his wrath. This is a regime similar to ones in European medieval times: it claims to have a “divine mandate”. Failing to praise it is a sin, and talking about it in a balanced manner is treasonous.

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How could Khashoggi, who was an expert regarding the nature of the House of Saud, fail to anticipate his imminent end upon visiting his country’s consulate in Istanbul as a normal Saudi citizen seeking to obtain some simple documents necessary for his planned marriage?

Khashoggi was not naive. He was sharp and extremely clever. He was no stranger to the nature of the Saudi regime; in fact he was closely linked to its inner circles. He had worked in its embassies in London and Washington. He was appointed editor-in-chief of the semi-official al-Watan newspaper. The country was not a democracy during the three decades when Khashoggi was quite close to its upper echelons of power. But he knew there was a margin, albeit a small one, for speaking out. He also knew there were limits to the cruelty and oppressiveness of the regime. This is exactly what Khashoggi comprehended, and continued to bear in mind, until his self-exile in America a year and a half ago. He had a big heart. It never occurred to him that the new ruler of his country was capable of such evil. Under the banner of reform and fighting extremist Islam – words with appeal to western circles – and by virtue of the billions the new crown prince poured into the coffers of US arms manufacturers, Mohammed bin Salman was granted full cover to abuse his country and the entire region with impunity.

It is regrettable that President Trump has been seeking to find a way to exonerate the crown prince of his responsibility for the alleged crime. Trump came out with the suggestion that perhaps “rogue” agents had killed Khashoggi. He went on to say, rather shamelessly, that he would not sacrifice $100bn of arms sales to Saudi Arabia. Trump finally offered some stern remarks if Saudi Arabia’s leaders were found to have ordered the killing, but the message for us Arabs remains that we are not equal to other humans in the civilised world, and our importance lies only in our money and oil; our blood and dignity are of no value.

Notwithstanding the ugliness of such a stance over sales of US weapons, it is an inaccurate one even from a pragmatic point of view. In fact, the only constant in Saudi policy over many decades and throughout the reigns of several monarchs, has been full dependence upon the US – not the other way around. This will not change even if Bin Salman is removed from power. What needs to change is the slide towards chaos in the region since Bin Salman took over in the kingdom.

The responsibility is squarely on the shoulders of the US in particular – and its western allies. They should insist that Bin Salman resigns. The Americans and their allies should refrain from claiming that they do not intervene in the internal affairs of our Arab countries, for we know, they know, and the whole world knows, that Bin Salman was able to topple his cousin Mohammed bin Nayef only because of the support he received from the Trump administration. This is the same support that enables him to continue to kill the Yemeni people, to continue to incarcerate thousands of prominent figures in the kingdom and to continue to impose a siege on Qatar.

The US administration’s efforts to rescue Bin Salman from the repercussions of being found to have ordered the killing of Khashoggi will not succeed thanks to the noble stance adopted by global media institutions and their unwavering insistence on learning the truth and making the culprits accountable.

It is true that we in the Arab world have often been disappointed by the western official stances towards the Middle East – yet what is happening today is teaching us that the west is not one solid mass. We know today more than at any time before that the voices of conscience and free speech in the west and the rest of the world are in good health. These are represented by journalists, human rights activists and intellectuals, whose message tells us that we are not alone in confronting tyranny. Indeed, the world is sick and tired of the continued cover-up of crimes that have been perpetrated throughout our countries.

In my last meeting with Khashoggi I felt he was happy and optimistic about the future. He was getting ready to be married. I joked with him, saying: “You seem to me 10 years younger than you were months earlier.” He smiled, and we continued to talk about the future of the Arab world and how to come out of the current predicament. He said to me: “From now on, our slogan should be ‘democracy is the solution’. For we have no other option but to work for democracy, otherwise our countries will slide toward very long ages of darkness.”

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Khashoggi uttered his word and moved on. Two days later, he seems to have met his death. Yet his words have not died. His assassination gave those words a new lease of life. They will continue to grow and will be carried forward by the children of the Arab world and by the free, wherever they happen to be.

The brutal killing of Khashoggi is a personal tragedy for his family and all his friends around the world. Solace will only come if this turns out to be a tipping point in how the world deals with tyrants and dictators. In his last contribution to al Sharq forum conference a week before his disappearance, Khashoggi said: “Change will happen solely because of the grave mistakes committed by the despots.”

His gruesome killing is a grave mistake indeed – we will never settle until we achieve the change Khashoggi lost his life for.

• Wadah Khanfar is a former director general of the al-Jazeera television network