The Book

The Field Guide to Being an Awesome Birth Partner

Men, this book will make sure you know what to do when the woman you love is birthing a baby. It doesn’t waste your time (it’s short) while it gives you all the basic things you need to know.

Available on Amazon in Kindle format.

Men are different than women.

It’s true.

Men are different than women.

And it’s obvious when it comes to childbirth. Expecting women read about pregnancy and childbirth. They talk with their friends about birth experiences. They go to pre-natal appointments with their obstetrician. By the second trimester, they know a lot about the subject.

Men generally don’t.

And men generally don’t feel like they have the time to become experts.

There’s just too much else to do. After all, there’s a baby coming.

That’s where this book comes in. It’s a just-the-important-stuff guide to helping a woman through the process of preparing for and going through childbirth. It’s written by a man, for men (though women are welcome to read it too).

This book covers everything, but it’s short.

This book covers everything from preparing for the baby’s arrival, the drive to the hospital, the birth, and the first couple of days after the birth. It gets you inside her head, and tells you how to get your head on straight. But it’s short. It’s to the point. It’s a field guide, not an encyclopedia.

What’s inside?

Here are just a few of the things you’ll find in this book:

The four most common concerns of first-time expectant mothers

The two concerns most women have about their birth partner (that’s you!)

5 common mistakes men make without even realizing it

Comfort techniques

Useful phrases to use during childbirth

Just what you need to know to get through each stage and phase of labor (there’s stages and phases?)

Plus checklists to make sure important things get done:

What to pack for the hospital (for Mom, Dad, and Baby)

Things you need to do before the birth (it’s more than just assembling the crib)

The just-what’s-necessary birth plan discussion

The comfort techniques discussion to help you turn good intentions into confidently-provided comfort

Women talk.

Women talk with their friends about their birth experiences. You can be sure that birth partners get mentioned. I’d be willing to bet that most of the time, birth partners don’t get mentioned positively.

Now imagine this: it’s a year from now. Your baby has been born. The mother of your baby is talking with a group of her friends when the conversation turns to childbirth experiences. One friend says “My husband just sat and watched TV the whole time.” Another says “You’re lucky! Mine was out of the room half the time on the phone to his brother.” The whole group murmurs sympathetically.

What do you want the mother of your baby to say?

“[Your name here] was even worse. Let me tell you what he did…”

“[Your name here]? Yeah, he was awesome. He knew what to do, didn’t freak out, and I’ve never felt more loved in my whole life.”

That’s a great reason to equip yourself to be a birth partner, not just a guy in the room.

Men, read this:

Let’s be honest: you’re afraid you’re going to hear “Don’t touch me! This is all your fault!” You’re afraid you’re going to mess this up. Or the idea that there’s anything to mess up hasn’t crossed your mind. In either case, you need to know what you’re getting into.

If you go into this blissfully unaware, or if you shut down because you’re afraid of failure, you’re going to mess up. I know you can do better.

So does she. With the help of this book and a little effort on your part, you’ll do fantastic. Childbirth will still be messy and difficult, not a sepia-tinted frolic through a lavender-scented meadow. But again, let’s be honest: what’s so bad about something messy and difficult for a man?

Women, read this:

Giving birth is a big deal. It’s not something you want to do alone. You shouldn’t have to. Most men aren’t prepared to be good birth partners, it’s true. But there aren’t many good resources out there for men. You’re pretty excited about everything going on, so you read all the books and get all the emails, and know exactly which gestational week you’re at.

He’s got other things going on, which is the whole reason for this book. It’s simple, straightforward, honest, based on plenty of research, written by a man for men.

You know he’s capable of being a great birth partner, if only he had the right coaching. That’s this book.

The resource I wanted…

This is the resource I wanted before my first child was born. In fact, I used the draft of this as a resource for the birth of my third child. The checklists alone were worth writing this. The input from doctors, nurses, and mothers was a bonus. It’s about 30 pages of solid information, without padding, and several additional pages of checklists to make sure you don’t forget anything important. It’ll help equip you to be the best birth partner you can be.

Available on Amazon in Kindle format.