The only way to watch a new installment of a once beloved, and now dying franchise is to go in with little to no expectations. This way any small moments of the film will seem ok, and maybe make the whole ordeal worthwhile.

First off, Terminator Genisys IS much better than Terminator Salvation, which isn’t exactly a huge achievement, but it’s a solid start.

This review will probably contain spoilers; actually it will definitely contain spoilers.

So proceeded at your own risk.

I’m going to break this movie down into small ‘rant’ sized bites.

How old is John Connor/Kyle Reese meant to be?

At the start of the film we see a young Kyle Reese who is probably about 10-12 years old, rescued by an apparently ‘younger’ John Connor, who already has his facial battle scars, which must mean that this is technically takes place after the events of Terminator Salvation, which is still canon at this time (apparently).

Then flash-forward we see a fully Jai Courtney-ed Kyle Reese, standing next to a completely unchanged John Connor; they look like the same age, or at least similar.

Jai – Why?

On that note, I am sorry Jai Courtney, but I really don’t know why you exist.

You seem like an ok person, and it’s hard for me to hate on a fellow Australian, especially seeing as there are few Australian actors in Hollywood. However I just don’t understand what your appeal is. You’re not a very good actor, you’re not well known enough to draw an audience, and you don’t look like Hugh Jackman; what is your purpose?

If you were cast for the to make T-800 Arnold Schwarzenegger seem like the most human character, then I guess you were great…?

Otherwise you feel like Hollywood’s new Sam Worthington; whatever happened to that guy?

Time Machine

“It’ll rip apart anything not encased in living tissue”

This is said during the preparations before Kyle is sent back in time to save Sarah Connor, and explains why Terminators always arrive in the past/future naked, which is fine; I can understand that, whatever.

BUT

This means that the T-1000 in someway can produce living tissue? The T-1000 is clearly liquid metal, which is both seen and stated by numerous characters, so what they are saying is that the liquid metal Terminators can mimic living tissue when they shape shift? What about when they get shot? No blood or tissue is seen. This same can be said about the T-3000, sure the nano-bot or whatever can ‘mimic’ a flesh looking exterior, but I find it hard to believe that it passes for “living tissue”.

When you look at the T-800, whose outer skin layer has blood, and matter under the surface, even healing over time, that’s what I’d consider living tissue.

Basically these new and improved Terminators don’t seem meet the requirements of time travel. I’ll admit that’s pretty nit picky, and I’m probably wrong in my observations but still, it also raises the question, why would Skynet build a time machine that could only send things back that are encased in human tissue? Especially when their goal is to exterminate all humans.

And when Skynet controls an army of mostly metal machines, the human tissue requirement seems like a bit of a design flaw.

T-800 driving a truck…

WHY?

During the resistance’s siege on the Skynet facility that contained the Time machine, Kyle Reese and John Connor try to infiltrate the security system by essentially hijacking a truck, which is being driven by a T-800, up to a security checkpoint.

It seemed like such an old trick to pull on the most advanced/intelligent computer system ever created; so no surprise that it fails.

However I still can’t get over the image of a T-800 robot driving a truck to the Skynet base…like it’s a regular everyday thing.

Why would Skynet need its robots to drive anywhere? We saw all the automated vehicles that Skynet has in Terminator Salvation, where the hell are all those?

T-1000 vs T-3000

To be honest, there really doesn’t seem to be much of an improvement in terminator models between the T-1000 and the new T-3000. They both have the same ability to shape change, make weapons out of their extremities, and get shot a whole bunch without much issue. However the T-1000 could melt into a mirror to hide, and even pretend to be a checkered vinyl floor (From Terminator 2), but the T-3000 didn’t seem to have any such ability.

Not to mention that in the end the T-3000 is brought down by magnets, bloody magnets!

Did Skynet not anticipate the existence of magnets when sending back a terminator basically made of metallic dust?

I mean they had to give the T-1000 an acid shower in order to kill it, that seems like a much more reasonable weakness then a component found in most electronics, ever.

This seems very much like an iPhone 5 and iPhone 5C situation.

Why the time machine in 2017?

What reason did T-3000 John Connor build a time machine at the Genisys facility? John Connor has already been corrupted by the T-5000/Skynet (Matt Smith), so there isn’t a need to send anyone back to kill Sarah or John Connor because John Connor’s threat to Skynet has already been taken care of. The time machine would only seem to benefit someone trying to reverse the current timeline, which isn’t what Skynet/Genisys wants to do.

Honourable mentions

What about that naked hugging scene when Sarah and Kyle are traveling from 1984 to 2017? That was weird and unnecessary, right?

Then when they get to 2017, Kyle Reese is hit by a car going at considerable speed, and it’s brushed off like it was nothing. Mate, that shit would break all of your bones. (Maybe Kyle Reese is really a Terminator…?)

Not to mention overly forced plot device that Kyle Reese and Sarah Connor would have to fall in love and conceive John. I’ve seen better chemistry between a brick and a piece of toast.

Also did they really make Arnie a T-1000 now? Really? The most iconic image of the terminator franchise is T-800 Arnold Schwarzenegger, with wounds showing the metal skeleton beneath, as well as the red laser eye. That’s just gone now.

And since Arnie can shape shift, why did he choose to look like old man ‘Pops’?

And doesn’t a T-1000 require physical or at least visual contact with whatever they shape shifts into? How would liquid metal Arnie be able to shape shift back into his old appearance, if his old body was destroyed?

And what about the person that sent back the reprogrammed T-800 to save Sarah Connor in the 70s?

Too many questions.

Despite all the inconsistencies, there are some redeemable moments in the film, especially for fans of the series (more specifically fans of the first 2 Terminators).

The scene following Kyle Reese’s journey to 1984 is almost shot for shot from the original Terminator, even down to the clothes and shoes that Jai Courtney wears.

The fight between slightly older Arnie and CGI young Arnie isn’t the worst either.

All the favorite cliché lines and phrases are regurgitated once again, with a few slight variations on the manner and the characters that say them. As well as the action scenes, which were fairly entertaining for the most part.

This movie seemed like it was very much made for fans, which for fans is a good thing as they will appreciate all the little nods, references and Easter eggs of which there are plenty. Non-fans however will be sitting in the theatre just thinking, “What the fuck is going on?”.

In reality, to really understand what is going on you need to have watched at least Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment day, or at least have some knowledge of the storyline.

Terminator Genisys successfully confused non-fans with little prior knowledge of the Terminator films, as well as successfully confusing fans, who by the end of the film were left with the comforting thought that Genisys had just said “Cya later” to the James Cameron Terminators, and “Hello” to a new, more confusing, ok acted, Terminator series, featuring excessive amounts of time travel, and Doctor Who.

As for Emilia Clarke’s fairly forgettable performance as Sarah Connor, that part where she drove the truck, and shot that guy was pretty good…I guess. Harsh but true Emilia Clarke, I prefer you in Game of Thrones.

The whole thing felt very much one step forward, two steps back for the Terminator franchise.

And they want to make 2 more of these? Eeeesh.

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