Breakups. Whether you heartlessly or consciously dumped out of the blue, any type of parting ways can sting.

There are right ways to deal with your sadness, which is real and valid, but there are also things that can trip you up and delay healing.

Don’t lose heart. You will move on in time, find someone more suitable for you, and all this will be a memory.

In the meantime, when mourning at the end of a relationship, be sure to avoid these “don’ts” of breakup etiquette, which can just lead to more harm to you, and follow our ” relationship advice ” and ” relationship breakup counselling ”.

1. Pretend you’re fine.

Allow yourself to mourn. Cry or punch a pillow. Journal. Surround yourself with someone who listens like friends or family members.

The temptation is also to pretend you’re not affected by ‘‘ the break up” ; do not let pride get in the manner of being real.

You do not have to sob at the office, but try to take a few quiet moments to reflect and be honest with yourself. It’s normal to be angry, hurt or humiliated. It’s okay to express yourself honestly than grow numb.

2. Try to be “just friends.”

Very rarely can a breakup lead to a strong friendship, and until you’re okay with the idea of your ex dating a new person or vice-versa? You’re not ready to be pals.

Create a personal space for some time and let yourself be sad about the end of the relationship.

If your ex-partner is pushing for friendship, stand your ground if you are uncomfortable with this idea.

At this moment, you are not looking for a friend who looks exactly like the person who broke your heart.

3. Seek revenge.

Don’t key his car, kidnap his dog, or destroy his things. And never, ever do something that could land you in legal troubles.

If you are sharing the rent, deal with it like a responsible person. Do not lock him out.

The thoughts of revenge feed only bitterness and hatred. You may have been severely wronged, but a “draw” will not help you.

Just forgive and move on. Carry your head high and spend your time and energy on people who deserve it.

4. Communicate. In any format.

You broke up last week, but you still have a few thoughts you want to process with the ex.

You pick up your phone.

Something makes you laugh on your way to work.

Your first thought? Text your ex about it. Don’t.

There will be many times when it is unavoidable to communicate with an ex. Maybe you have to return his things.

Maybe you need to deal with a shared lease or pet custody. Resist the urge.

However, to call or to send a text message whenever you’d have after you were still dating.

Breakups make voids. Ask your close friend if you can call her/him every time you’d usually reach out to your ex.

Recruit a system of support from friends and family to help you fill the time you usually spend with an important person and don’t forget to avoid ”breakup movies ”.

Most people feel lost once a breakup; Not because they miss their ex-boyfriend, however, because such a lot of their daily habits once rotated around somebody else.

Try to give yourself some amount of time to adapt to single life.

5. Beg for reconciliation.

Yeah! Dogs can get away with begging. But you can’t. Maybe you don’t know why it ended. Maybe you think it happened for the wrong reasons.

Or you would just rather be in an unhealthy relationship than not to be in a relationship at all. Instead of clinging to lost hope.

Try to find a suitable friend who can help you walk through the reasons why you are having a hard time letting go.

Don’t beg for him/her to return. Deep down, you know that you don’t want to be in a relationship with somebody you had to beg to be with you.

Besides, if your ex-partner rejects you again, it will not only hurt; the rejection will sting with more humiliation and regret.

6. Sleep together.

Don’t do it. No girl on her deathbed says, “I really hope I sleep with my ex-partner one more time.” Let the break be clean.

7. Facebook-stalk your ex.

Social media can be dangerous when dealing with pain. Tell yourself with two rules: Do not post anything about the breakup drama online, no matter how mysterious it is, and resist the urge to go after your ex.

Unfriending or at least hiding statuses can at least help you avoid the constant temptation to check-in if your ex is living a life worse or miserable, or extra awesome than yours.

8. Get a haircut — or tattoo.

Try not to make drastic changes for a while. It’s easy to make rash choices post-breakups. One big change in your life can inspire more change.

If you have got a tattoo-design epiphany within the days after a heartbreak, wait a few months before working on it.

Wait until you’re emotionally back on track.

Hair grows back, however, be warned: cutting a bad bowl will hurt your self-esteem.

Don’t kick yourself when you’re down.

9. Give up.

She wasn’t the one. Your ex made you feel like nothing. Do not let a breakup harm your hope.

Continue taking care of yourself. Take some amount of time to refocus and pursue the things you’ve always loved to do.

Spend your time with loved ones. Love isn’t a one-shot-only experience.

Understand what you can from the relationship that just ended and moves forward. Don’t give up on meeting your perfect match.

Be grateful that the wrong relationship finished to free you up for the correct one. You can try” books on healing after a breakup ”

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