Lumpkin, Saskatchewan

The Lumpkin City Council voted today to appropriate Bill 173, which calls for the implementation of the Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness (ZAP) tax. Scheduled to go into effect June 1st, the bill will apply an increased sales tax of 1% on all goods purchased within the borders of the town.

The vote was closer than most thought it would be at 7-4, but in the end the Council sent a message that if the dead were to rise and come looking for flesh, Lumpkinites would be ready.

“We’ve seen the Walking Dead, ten times over, almost to a person in this town,” said Councilman Wallace Brennan, “and we’ll be damned if we end up like Rick and his brigade, stumbling from town to town. We’re going to build walls, buy supplies – this town is not going out without a fight.”

According to J.D. Power & Associates, Lumpkin purchases more Walking Dead memorabilia per capita than any other town or city in the World. The money generated from the ZAP tax will pay for the construction of a fortified seven foot wall surrounding the small town, complete with battlements and machine gun towers.

They’ve also struck a deal with survival gear manufacturer Gerber for a thousand of their Zombie Apocalypse survival kits, and hired experts from the School of Apocalyptic Adaptation (S.A.A.) to teach courses in survival and melee weapons to the kids in their elementary schools.

Barbara Tedford, Councilwoman for the Fifth District, is one of the dissenters who doesn’t understand what’s happening. “This whole Zombie phenomenon has gotten out of hand,” she mused. “Instead of fixing potholes on Main Street or keeping the local pool open for an extra month in the summer, we’re spending money on experts from S.A.A., whatever the hell that is, to scare our kids about something that’ll never, ever happen and teach them how to kill people. It’s ludicrous.”

Her opinion is clearly in the minority, as evidenced by the celebration at Jimmy Herman’s house. Herman, who originally proposed the ZAP tax after watching the season four finale with his friends, hosted over four hundred supporters and revelers for drinks and dancing after the bill was passed.

“When Rick went back to being all badass and they got caught up at Terminus, I knew we had to make plans to fortify ourselves if it ever happened here,” Herman explained happily. “Now, we’ll be ready for the Walkers when they come; hell, we’ve got a small army ready to go right now if necessary.”

Tedford expressed some optimism that the tax may be short-lived, as one of the provisos of the bill was that they revisit it after season four concludes. “This town is pretty hot and cold – Herman jumped on the momentum of season four, but had he tried that during the lull in season two, this wouldn’t have panned out. We can only hope Rick dies in season four and the ZAP with him,” she said.

She went on to explain that there was precedent for the town overturning such a bill for similar reasons, like when K-Stew cheated on R-Patz in 2012 and the Council immediately dissolved their Vampire Hunter division.