We’ve got everyone from Sam Sung, Apple specialist to Colonel Coward to Dr. Nurse (and my Who’s on First? parody therein).

As we say around here at the 11 Points offices — “we” being me talking to the dog and “offices” being the spare bedroom in my house — there’s nothing like a good pun. So now, good puns.

I scoured the irritating slideshows of the Internet to track down photographic proof of people with horrible names for their jobs. Some of these are so close to irony that if a person on a reality show called one of these irony, he or she might actually be nearly correct.

Here are 11 people with names horribly suited for their chosen careers.

1 | Richard Frankenstein, doctor

I’m sure this guy has heard the jokes for his entire life — from the first time he played Operation as a little kid right up until he introduced himself to someone this morning. It’s so bad the article has to clarify things:

The new [chief medical officer]’s name is Dr. Richard S. Frankenstein, pronounced Franken-STEEN — unlike the monster-building doctor in Mary Shelly’s classic story.

Cool. I’m still not sure I’d be willing to have my organs donated to his hospital.

2 | Jackie Daniels, director of Indiana University Office of Alternative Screening and Intervention Services

If you’re wondering why Jackie is the director of an organization with such a convoluted name, it’s because the acronym is OASIS. That’s called putting the acronym cart before the logic horse right there.

3 | Sam Sung, Apple specialist

According to a new report, Sam Sung is no longer working for Apple. He had to see the firing coming on the Verizon. (BAM!)

4 | Asbury Coward, colonel

This feels like a case where this guy worked twice as hard as everyone else to prove he WASN’T a coward… and as a result, he earned himself a monument. (Although, based on research, Coward was a Confederate and was with General Lee at Appomattox. If Twitter had been around people would’ve had a field day with that.)

5 | Will Tickel, chiropractor

Although you don’t want your chiropractic adjustments to tickle, it’d be worse if his last name were Maim. Or Cripple. Or Overcharge.

6 | Jaime Sin, cardinal

Cardinal Sin was a major figure in the Philippines. I would stretch for a joke here, but I feel like he still has some powerful friends and I don’t want to turn the Philippines against me. I don’t want to have to hang up a map like the Simpsons did, putting an “X” through every place I’m no longer welcome to visit.

7 | Rich White, Republican candidate

And it’s even more fitting that he’s running unopposed.

8 | Bob Walk, Grant Balfour and Eric Plunk, pitchers

All three are Major League pitchers (of past and present) whose last names feature ways they could send a batter to first base without a hit. I couldn’t find any batters with reciprocal name issues — perhaps a Frank Strike or a Ryan Lineout or a Horace Catcherinterference.

9 | Ted Kadivar, surgeon

Even though it’s spelled “Kadivar” and not “Cadaver,” that doesn’t really inspire confidence.

10 | Janelle Lawless, judge

In spite of her name, Lawless won the election in 2003 to become a circuit court judge in Ingham County, Michigan. She was re-elected in 2009. Her term ends next year, which will hopefully end the anarchy she’s no doubt brought to Ingham County, Michigan, for the past decade.

11 | Sandra Nurse, doctor

According to sitcoms, female doctors are always being called “nurse” by Archie Bunker types. In this case, it just opens the door to a glorious round of Who’s on First? – Hospital Edition…

Patient: Who’s my doctor? Orderly: It’s Nurse. Patient: Oh, I’m sorry. Who’s my doctor, nurse? Orderly No, I’m not a nurse. Your doctor is. Patient: My doctor is what? Orderly: Nurse. Patient: My doctor is what, nurse? Orderly: No, your doctor is Nurse. Patient: What? Orderly: Doctor Nurse. Patient Doctor… who? Orderly: No, that’s Matt Smith.

And scene.

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