Simmons College, a women’s school in Boston, wants to make sure all students are completely up to date on what constitutes a microaggression. So they published an extensive list of no-nos so that absolutely no one on campus will ever be offended by anything anyone says ever.

They also took great pains to list what might be “microinvalidations,” “microinsults” and “microassaults.” And when I find out which microbrain thought these things up, I’ll let you know.

The Washington Times reports that on the college website they list “six ‘anti-oppression’ categories—’anti-racism,’ ‘anti-transmisia,’ ‘anti-ableism,’ ‘anti-Islamomisia,’ ‘anti-sanism’ and ‘anti-queermisia’—with which students should be familiar.”

Only six? Keeping the list short is probably a microaggression itself.

A description of the guide reads, “This guide is intended to provide some general information about anti-oppression, diversity, and inclusion as well as information and resources for the social justice issues key to the Simmons College community.” As you will see, the “general information” includes loads of specifics.

What exactly is “anti-Islamomisia”? Saying “God bless you” after a sneeze is to commit the microaggression because of the “assumption of one’s own religious identity as the norm.”

“Norm” is short for “normal,” which these people don’t have to worry about falling into.

Also, saying “Merry Christmas” similarly “conveys one’s perception that everyone is Christian or believes in God.” But isn’t saying “Happy Holidays” a microaggression against depressed people? You are automatically assuming everyone is “happy” when you greet someone like that.

For sheer idiocy, I like this one:

Under the “anti-racism” tab, students are warned against committing “colorblind racism” by saying “I don’t see color. I just see people,” “We’re all just people” or “#AllLivesMatter.” “I don’t care if you’re black, white, green, or purple-polka-dotted!” is another example of colorblind racism, the guidelines state.

Got that? Martin Luther King Jr. was a racist when he asked us to judge people by the content of their character not the color of their skin. And don’t you just love the term “colorblind racism”? What the hell does that mean, anyway?

Another weird entry warns students “against using incorrect gender pronouns or otherwise ‘misgendering’ their classmates.” So how are you going to know someone’s gender if they don’t think they’re a man or a woman? Maybe they should wear tags identifying what they think their gender is. Otherwise — poof! Microaggression!

Is this a glimpse at our future where these “guidelines” are laws and breaking them is punishable by prison time? I think it is entirely possible.

As funny and stupid and idiotic as these guidelines are, these folks are dead serious about them.