Nappy. Unkempt. Unprofessional. This is just a drop in the ocean of derogatory terms that are frequently used to describe natural black hair. For so long, the black woman has struggled with trying to find her place in a world where beauty is primarily measured by Eurocentric standards: fair skin, long straight hair and a pointy nose.

The black woman, on average, spends more money on haircare products than any other race. She has had to conform to European beauty standards or risk being unemployed. For instance, the US army once had restrictions on certain hairstyles that are primarily worn by black women. In 2014, some of these restrictions were rolled back, setting a milestone for the black woman. It’s a shame when a country that you love enough to fight for puts rules and regulations that work against you and your well-being.

Walk into any store that sells hair products and you will find that they usually have isles and isles of haircare products, none of which are designed for black women. If you’re lucky, you will find a small section with “ethnic haircare” products. Usually the products are overpriced in comparison to other products and whether they deliver their intended results usually depends on who you ask.

For so long, the black woman has straightened her hair. Remember the hot comb, anyone? That was every little black girl’s worst nightmare. The black woman straightened her hair so she would look ‘presentable’. And once she got to a certain age, she was introduced to the world of chemical relaxers, better known as creamy crack. Do I need to go into detail about how these relaxers left a dent in the black woman’s pocket, her hairline receding and bald spots on her head?

Some will argue that the black woman doesn’t know how to take care of her hair. Trust me, she does. It’s just hard for her to style her hair the way she wants to without being accused of trying to make a political statement. And even if she were trying to make a political statement, why should it matter? No one else gets as much scrutiny about hair like the black woman.

Did you know that black women, in general, have to plan their activities around their hair? As a hair stylist, I have clients that come to me with questions about styles that would be ideal for, say, working out or going to the beach. It’s disheartening when certain clients skip their workout routines because they don’t want to wash and style their hair afterwards. Most of these women have full-time jobs and because it takes a while to style black hair into styles that are considered professional, they’d rather skip working out than spend an inordinate amount of time fixing their hair. It may seem like that’s just an excuse at its best and laziness at its worst, but unless you’ve dealt with black hair, then who are you to judge?

Bottom line is black women’s hair issues go beyond their hair’s curl pattern. There’s the issue of other races not accepting black hair for what it is, and then there’s also the issue of other black people being extremely judgmental towards people who may choose to care for their hair in ways different from their own. For instance, people with relaxed hair tend to use the term “nappy” towards Naturalistas and Naturalistas tend to think they are more conscious than people with relaxed hair. At the end of the day, everyone has to do what’s best for them and their pockets. We can choose to diss each other for our lifestyle choices, but when the sun sets and lights are out, the rest of the world is judging us and our choices. Food for thought.