Most so-called “game journalists” at major mainstream media outlets aren’t real gamers. They don’t know how to play games (as evident with Polygon’s video of DOOM), and many of them have no history of gaming (as evident with all the major sites reiterating falsehoods spread by charlatan culture critics). The reality is that most game journalists aren’t real gamers. So you can imagine the furor when they realized that real gamers will finally get to attend E3 this year.

The news recently went out that the ESA will open up E3 2017 to everybody. All gamers from all walks of life and all backgrounds, from all over the world, each one coming in different shapes and sizes, will be able to attend the event. Tickets will be available between $150 and $250 for a three-day pass.

Typically, some SJWs were not pleased that real gamers would be able to finally bypass the uninformed, fascists gatekeepers known as game journalists, and see and experience the games and technology for themselves. No longer would gamers have to rely on misinformation, sociopolitical commentary and identity politics pervading the coverage of E3.

Various individuals, many of whom identify as SJWs, took to social media such as Twitter to sound off against gamers making their way to E3.

Jim Avery sounded off with a pithy but jocular remark about the whole thing being a brainwashing exercise.

@9_volt88 what they don’t know is that it’s a trap to lock all gamers in a room and brainwash them á la A Clockwork Orange — Jim Avery (@TheSoundDefense) February 9, 2017

Others, however, were hoping that this would be a short-lived exercise in pro-consumerism, hoping desperately that the legs of opportunity would close shut tight on gamers in years to come.

@9_volt88 This is the best argument for closing off E3 to the public in 2018 — Dope Hot Dog (@LiterallyNoodle) February 9, 2017

Other SJWs – some writing for various blog sites or having a small toe slipped through the door of the gaming industry – were a lot less poetic about their intentions. They simply do not like gamers and hate that real gamers have an opportunity to meet and greet some of their idols in the gaming industry.

There’s a quantum of solace for the embittered who snidely remark within the safe spaces of Twitter about the death of gamers… such as the self-proclaimed male feminist, Jonas Hakansson, who repeated the infamous 2014 line that helped kick-off the explosion that was #GamerGate.

@9_volt88 gamers are dead — Jonas Håkansson (@nfm1337) February 9, 2017

Other SJWs found it to be a mistake, a blasphemous call for the hydra of consumerism to emerge from the far corners of the interwebs; a stake to the heart of game journalism’s oligarchy; a raping of the gated clique that once controlled the foyer of information that lactated from the bulbous PR udders dangling from the publishers’ visceral bloat that drips begrudgingly through the sphincter of the media and out through the curdled lips of their blogs.

@9_volt88 in related news, the odor at said venues will increase dramatically — Solo🇪🇹 (@Solo_Verse) February 9, 2017

@9_volt88

E3: “Hey we can make a fuckton of $ from stupid gamers”

Gamers: “HA! TAKE THAT SJWS!!” — Dampfig-Anarchismus (@justbenkaplan) February 9, 2017

Others tried defending the old guard, pretending as if the cavernous opening in the rectum major gaming sites’ advertising opportunities makes them reliable, trustworthy, independent journalists with the interests of gamers in mind.

@9_volt88 I think marketing departments need a new pair of pants because they jizzed in them multiple times — Puddington (@ThePuddington) February 9, 2017

That above tweet is also assuming that indie developers showing a little sexual interest in pasty, unattractive games journalists wouldn’t also sway their convictions toward the dark side. In the case of Kotaku, it swayed them into a culture war that spawned a hashtag that opened the eyes of the public to the incestuous nature of journalism’s clique.

Regardless, other SJWs continued on with the whole “gamers are a hate group narrative”, the same narrative that made gamers hate journalists in the first place, and the reason that they would rather attend E3 in person than trust the likes of anyone reporting for a website who was attached to the Game Journo Pros.

@9_volt88 “we hate how journalists call us out for being pricks and supporters of hate groups so now we can spend $150 to pwn them” — Connor The Dreamer (@SeafoamGaming) February 9, 2017

However, even some journalists seemed salty about gamers being able to attend E3 and bypass the need to read blogging reports about what’s happening on the show floor. Kyle Orland from Ars Technica bemoans the drudgery of working the booths and the hassles of navigating the throngs, nearly giving the impression that the piece is trying to deter gamers, lest they fall prey to the beast.

Techspot managed to sneak in a jab about how gamers attending E3 could affect the media’s role in the iconic expo, writing…

“How it will impact the media’s ability to do its job, however, remains to be seen. If there’s a lot of pushback from reporters after the fact, it could very well go down as the first and last E3 open to the public.”

Moreover, those who actually play games still managed to get the last laugh, with a WAM! report revealing that #GamerGate wasn’t a harassment campaign; an FBI report revealing that #GamerGate wasn’t a harassment campaign; and the FTC working with #GamerGate to help bring down Gawker and improve ethical standards for all media outlets.

Gamers’ milky victory secreted onto the tongue of SJWs’ pride, languishing there like a badge of honor that can’t be rinsed away; all while the pole of ethics lodged its way down the orifice of corruption, filling the gaping hole with improved policies and updated disclosures, changing the landscape of media journalism forever.

And now that the ESA has opened the doors to the public, it’s time for real gamers to make E3 great again.

(Main image courtesy of AntiFemComics)