Shalom Shekelberg

Israeli Jew News Time

July 26, 2014

A gargantuan series of blasts rocked Salt Lake City Saturday, with all three of the city’s synagogues and an African American community center being reduced to mere dust. At least 237 people are left dead, and many more injured.

The Antisemitic cartoonist and Skinhead Militia leader Ben Garrison is widely believed to be responsible for what authorities are calling the most deadly racial hate crime in the history of the nation.

Mere minutes before the ultra-devastating quadruple blast, this post appeared on 4chan’s /pol/:

Xeroxed copies of this cartoon were found by authorities at all four of the bombing sites:

Earlier this month, Garrison obtained the launch codes of the entire Israel nuclear deterrent by tricking the CIA into capturing him and then hacking their mainframe. It now appears that he is planning to cut a trail of tears halfway across the globe to Israel where he will be able to detonate the devices and holocaust the 6 million Jews living there.

This begs the question: if Garrison is on a mission to kill millions, why would he take the time to stop and murder a few hundred?

The answer, says Jew Rabbi Simon Dollarstein, is PR.

“Garrison has been building a massive following of privileged young White males who harbor the insane delusion that they are disenfranchised. Ever since his most recent call for race war, the numbers have swelled, with believers in his genocidal cause moving off of fringe Antisemitic internet hotspots, such as 4chan’s /pol/, and out onto the streets to spread their message of hate,” the good Rabbi explained, “this latest massacre in Salt Lake is his way of rallying the troops, inspiring them and letting them know that everything is going according to plan.”

On Saturday evening, Jews held a joint vigil for the bombing victims near city hall. While the Jewish mourners numbered nearly a thousand, Ben Garrison’s supporters, who came out to protest the vigil, counted three times that number.

The protester crowd was a mixed group of hate-mongerers, including neo-Nazis, Klu Klux Klan members, Internet trolls and skinheads, though the bulk of the crowd was made up of school children. The ragtag bunch held up large posters of Garrison and chanted Antisemitic slogans, including “get back to Israel in time for the party” and “gas the kikes, race war now.”

They also blasted “Final Countdown” at the mourning Jews from an 1980s-style boombox. Europe’s 1986 billboard chart-topper has become an anthem for Garrison’s supporters, as they “countdown” to what they call “the real Holocaust.”

When asked why none of the protesters were arrested, sheriff John Himmler, who was recently condemned by the ADL after being secretly recorded referring to President Obama as a “jigaboo,” as well as saying that he thought Adolf Hitler was “a pretty cool guy,” said that he was unable to arrest protesters, as they had done nothing wrong. The sheriff did confiscate their 1980s-style boombox, but only after playing air guitar in front of it for nearly fifteen minutes, occasionally firing his gun into the air.

One protester, Jeremy Conner, who is a 14-year-old freshman at Brigham-Young High and was wearing a t-shirt with Ben Garrison’s face on it, was asked by local media why he attended.

“I used to get bullied by niggers because if my red hair and freckles, but then Ben Garrison taught me I’m a member of the Divine Aryan master race which emerged from ashes of Atlantis to conquer the earth and subdue the subhumans. It inspired me and I took up martial arts. Now any nigger comes within fifty feet of Jeremy Conner, he’s gonna end up with a throat full of his own bucked teeth.” He added, “Now, Zyklon B is on the way to Israel, taking out everything in his path, and there’s not a single thing the kikes can do to stop him. The real Holocaust is on its way.”

Protesters wore hats fashioned after Garrison’s signature fashion accessory and staged photos doing the famous “Garrison Tip,” a hat tip which Mark Potok of the Southern Poverty Law Center has referred to as “the Nazi salute 2.0.”

Supporters from the US, Europe and other White nations also flooded social media with pro-Garrison propaganda, causing multiple racist hashtags to trend.

“It’s happening! Go Ben! #GasTheKikes #GarrisonIsRight #HeilGarrison #RealHolocaustNow” wrote one disgruntled and confused young White man.

“This is just the beginning! The #RealHolocaust is on the way! #RaceWarNow #GarrisonIsRight” wrote another.

A vigil has yet to be held for the 84 African Americans who died at the Tupac Shakur Community Center, but we spoke with Shaqina Thomas, who lost 5 of her 14 children in the bombing.

“Dis shit b off da hook. Haw Dat Gerrisen cragga gon go n bom da muffuggen communinie sinder, it b has ol dem muffuggen kees upinder? Dat shit es whaaaaaack. Nomumsayin?” she said, adding “Ah b botta go don dat segret tummel, gis dis cragga n whip hes wyt azz fer dis sheet. B keelin muh muffuggen cheldrens, sheeeeet.”

Despite Thomas’ confidence in her own abilities to locate Garrison in his secret underground tunnel system, the most highly trained soldiers in the world have had no luck. Right now, it isn’t even clear if Garrison has returned to the tunnels or if he is moving by some other method.

“We have no idea how vast the tunnel system is, and satellite scans are only so effective.” said Dr. Simon Shattak, a professor of Holocaust Remembrance at Tel Aviv University. “He does appear to be moving toward Mexico, where he presumably believes he can catch a flight to North Africa and from there work his way to Israel to detonate the nukes.”

The ADL has yet to release a statement on the attacks, and when we tried to contact Abe Foxman, his secretary said he couldn’t take the call, as he was in the middle of an apoplectic fit.