idiom



a saying meant to assure you that the outrageous behavior by nearby males that offended you and/or caused you harm was not their fault



Traditional Definition: Boys are expected to be irresponsible or boisterous. (Also said ironically about men.)

In Context:

It wasn’t their fault. Boys will be boys.

Of course, assholes will also be assholes, and these are not equivalent statements.

As a woman, you may be asked to forgive males in your vicinity for actions they most certainly should have known better than to take. You will be led to believe that the couldn’t help themselves because of their “boyness,” a quality that has been misdefined by many as something damaging and uncontrollable. In reality, “boys will be boys” by having both an x and y chromosome, causing them to exhibit certain physical characteristics that define them as a separate gender. These characteristics are biological and do not involve a sudden proclivity to insult you, cause a ruckus, accidentally poke you in the eye, or engage in other demeaning or careless pursuits. Though they are not specifically associated with boys, the above qualities can be associated with another population: assholes. Aside from causing trouble, these people are easy to pick out because they are also the very people who excuse disruptive and inappropriate actions by saying “boys will be boys.”

Boys are able to be boys while still acting in a variety of ways, and their many options include being kind and respectful towards you. Anybody insisting that the natural inclination of males is to be horribly socialized and that you, as a woman, should excuse and even celebrate that fact is not accurately identifying the characteristics of a “boy.” They are instead embodying the characteristics of an asshole.

It never hurts to help people understand the differences between “boy” and “asshole” by exhibiting the bad behavior they celebrate in boys while also being female. This will clarify that bad behavior does not have a gender, it only has an adjective: rude.



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