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09/22/2009

A short temper, a martini, and love? That trinity is hole-y!

by Jeremy Hooper

We know that Catholicism is largely fueling Maine's anti-equality campaign. We also know that it's the fundamental thing that's driving NOM personalities Maggie Gallagher and Brian Brown (even if they won't admit it). And of course there's the Pope, who's made homo hostility a key teaching ever since his 2005 election.

But even with all those known variables, we're still sometimes shocked when we hear the casual, almost jovial way that many of the church's leaders talk about us gay folk and our supposed need to live a life of loveless celibacy. Times like when we read the latest New York magazine, which features a piece on NY's new archbishop, Timothy Dolan, and the "charming" way that he disparages certain people's natural existences. Here's a snip:

Then, of course, there is gay marriage. Dolan stands to become cardinal soon, and by the time his tenure here ends, which may not be for decades, it’s quite possible that something like half of the states in the union will have legalized same-sex marriage—New York surely among them. Dolan explains the church’s intractable position on this issue by describing homosexuality as a compulsion that should be controlled, much the same way as premarital sex should be. Forget about gay and straight sex; both are wrong, he says, simply because they take place outside the confines of marriage.



“If you have been gay your whole life and feel that that’s the way God made you, God bless you,” Dolan says. “But I would still say that that doesn’t mean you should act on that. I would happen to say, for instance, that God made me with a pretty short temper. Now, I still think God loves me, but I can’t act on that. I would think that God made me with a particular soft spot in my heart for a martini. Now, I’d better be careful about that.”



So, I ask, is being gay a character flaw?



“Yeah, it would be,” Dolan says—his smile broadening. “And we are all born with certain character flaws, aren’t we?”



But this leaves gay men and lesbians no choice but to form sexual partnerships that will always be seen as sinful. Isn’t that unfair?



Dolan takes a moment to think this over. “There’s no option,” he agrees, still smiling. “But I don’t know if that’s unfairness.”



Sex, he goes on to say, is not a human right, even if modern culture has made it appear that way. But this, he adds, is actually good news. His eyes light up. He seems excited—both by what he’s saying and by the fresh way he’s found to say it.



“The church—this hopeless romantic that she is—holds that sexual love is so exalted that it is the very mirror of the passion and the intimate excitement that God has for us and our relationship. We actually believe that when a man and a woman say ‘I do’ forever, that our love will be faithful, forever freeing, liberating, life-giving. We believe they mean it and they can do it! That’s exciting, that’s enriching, that’s ennobling. That’s a big, fat yes—yes!”

*FULL PIECE : The Archbishop of Charm [NY mag]

Yeah, gay people: Despite what science says, you all are to go through your whole life without ever knowing love and physical companionship if you want to have fighting chance for eternal happiness. And if the Catholic church is wrong? Eh, whatevs. It's all unprovable. So while you might have a lifetime of happiness to lose by listening to these sorts of teachings, leaders like Dolan will lose little more than a few same-sex wedding invitations. Isn't that just sooooooo "exciting, enriching, and ennobling"?!?

Forgive me father, for I have [::sigh::]-ed!

But hey, it's not like this church has a ton of influence and possesses the ability to drastically change our civil existences or anything...

Marc Mutty from Stand For Marriage Maine, the campaign working to overturn the same-sex marriage law, said 140 churches across the state took double collections on [9/13]. Mutty said by the end of the day, the churches could have collected as much as $100,000 to $300,000.

Catholic Churches Hold Special Collection To Fight Gay Marriage [WMTW]

Oh wait.

Your thoughts

What a nut. Thank God for alternatives like the Episcopal Church.

Posted by: Philip Lowe Jr | Sep 22, 2009 8:50:24 AM

I still believe that their vague reference to the amount collected in the second-collection Sunday ($100,000 to $300,000 is a large range) is a way for them to hide how much the church itself is contributing. With that collection in the mix, no one can prove for certain how much those 140 churches contributed (especially since THAT contribution is not tax-deductible). As a result, the church could end up throwing half a million into the ring and justifying it by saying "it was all part of our special collection". That way they get around the criticism that they are spending money on this ridiculous fight instead of saving parishes. Still disgusts me to think of all the homeless and hungry people that could be helped with the money both sides have wasted on this fight!

Posted by: Ken | Sep 22, 2009 9:34:20 AM

"Sex, he goes on to say, is not a human right, even if modern culture has made it appear that way." Despite his inability to consider gay relationships without imagining the sex he supposes them to be having, what he's really advocating for legislation against is the legal legitimacy of same-sex families. And I hate to rain on his parade, but, uhhmm, according to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights: "(1) Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.

"(2) Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses.

"(3) The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State."

Posted by: Harrison | Sep 22, 2009 12:09:21 PM

They funnel dollars by the millions to fight marriage equality while shutting down parishes throughout the world. This is a church that would rather quite literally close its doors rather than see any legal recognition of gay relationships. The Archbishop represents a church that has in the past and continues to hate fags.

Posted by: WilliamM | Sep 22, 2009 12:09:42 PM

Maybe next Sunday they can take up a "special" collection to fund the payouts to some of those that they molested while they were still children .. the ones that they have attempted to avoid compensating by having the San Diego and Montana franchises declare bankruptcy. Instead of attempting to deflect the blame for their own illicit behavior, everyone would be much better served (themselves included) if they just own their misdeeds, and make restitution (penance??) Or, better yet, maybe all of them should declare bankruptcy. The state can auction off all of the church assets, and use those proceeds as recompense for the harms that the pious have inflicted.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Sep 22, 2009 12:34:29 PM

So Dolan doesn't feel it's unfair to say that gays and lesbians should remain celibate while heterosexuals can enter into marriage and do the nasty 24-7. This really pisses me off. I don't know why it should. It's not like I give one flying rat's behind what this man dressed in a magenta and black robe(seriously?) thinks. If I want to have a relationship or even a one night stand with another man, I will.



Posted by: KZ | Sep 22, 2009 2:25:58 PM

Most religionists are delusional, anachronistic, lying, carpetbaggers who have an obsession with buttsex. I am sick and tired of their forcing their myth, mysticism and fables onto my Constitutional rights as a tax paying citizen. What ever happend to the wall of separation between Church and State?

Posted by: Mykelb | Sep 25, 2009 1:05:24 AM

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