The viral infection known as The Mumps has suddenly rocketed to the top of the card in WWE, following a clean victory over top WWE heel Roman Reigns. Reigns was reportedly taken out by the virus Friday, causing WWE to pull him from his match with The Shield vs. The Miz, Sheamus, Cesaro, Braun Strowman, and Libertarian Kane. In addition to scoring a decisive victory over the hated Reigns and taking him out of action, The Mumps is also responsible for hastening Kurt Angle's return to the WWE ring, where he hasn't wrestled a match in over 11 years, as a replacement for Reigns.

The Mumps' win over Reigns follows consecutive wins against Bray Wyatt, Bo Dallas, and announcer JoJo. However, other recent WWE absences are unrelated to the Mumps, as dirt sheets scramble to keep up with the gossip. Nia Jax, who was rumored to be playing hardball over her position in the company, is now reportedly just resting up before an upcoming tour. Kevin Owens left a South American tour to deal with family issues. Tom Phillips was off getting married, his new wife having apparently forgiven him for that whole facef***ing thing. And AJ Styles missed an event due to food poisoning. Styles is also replacing Wyatt in his match against Finn Balor. Neville, however, has apparently walked out of the company due to unhappiness with being relegated to the cruiserweight division despite having Game of Thrones level acting chops.

Reports earlier in the week suggested that Wyatt, Dallas, and JoJo were absent from WWE events due to a case of viral meningitis, leading to speculation that Reigns was suffering from the same ailment. WWE later confirmed that performers had been taken out due to a viral infection. However, subsequent reports have clarified that it isn't meningitis.

It's the Mumps, Roman! It was the Mumps all along!

The Mumps was detected during a test for viral meningitis, dirt sheets are now saying, so that they don't look like they were technically wrong.

Now that The Mumps has been established as dominant over Roman Reigns, will WWE shift its booking plans, perhaps having The Mumps go over Strowman at Survivor Series, setting them up to take out Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania? If it means we don't get another Roman Reigns main event, we'll take it.