Dear Tell All: A friend came to visit from my hometown on the East Coast, and I took her to a high-end event at the Overture Center. We dressed up for it, of course, as did the two guys who came with us. But I was embarrassed for my adopted city as soon as we walked into the Overture lobby.

While the setting was lovely, the people were not. Most of the other attendees looked like they’d just rolled out of bed. The men were the worst, in flip flops, unsightly shorts or ill-fitting jeans, and untucked shirts (usually hanging over big bellies). I couldn’t believe I had to spend the evening staring at their hairy, ugly feet. Some of the women tried harder, but only a little. Most of them looked about as decent as they would for a trip to the grocery store.

My visiting friend made snide comments, and I couldn’t disagree with her. If I’d shown up for a formal event back home with no concern for how I looked, people would have thought I’d lost my mind. And they would have rightly considered it rude, both to them and to the venue.

I realize we’re in Wisconsin, which is not exactly the glamour capital of the world. But Madison has pretensions of being a cosmopolitan city. And we actually could be one, given our political, intellectual, and economic firepower. So why do we have such little interest in looking the part?

Presentable

Dear Presentable: I can’t argue with you about the way Madisonians dress. You nailed it with the shorts and flip-flops, no matter the occasion.

On the other hand, I will argue with your attitude toward local fashion. Yes, if you choose to look at us from the perspective of East Coast uptightness, we must seem like slobs. But you could also see our informality as a virtue. What’s more natural and unpretentious than dressing comfortably for an event, particularly in the summer?

I’d counsel you to lighten up a bit, Presentable. We don’t judge you for dressing to impress, even though we’d be within our rights to consider it vain and conformist. So why judge us for refusing to be cowed by an event’s self-proclaimed formality? You’re in Madison now, where it’s live-and-let-live. If you don’t see the sense in that humane outlook, you probably moved to the wrong place.

Do you have a question about life or love in Madison?

Write Tell All, 100 State St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tell all@isthmus.com