WASHINGTON — When you walk into Nationals Park for Opening Day next Monday, after passing through the metal detectors — which I am sure will be fast and efficient — you should probably buy a program.

Not only will it be a valuable collector’s item when the team wins the World Series this year, more practically, you’ll need it to identify the team Washington trots out to begin their 2015 campaign.

If you haven’t read a baseball headline this spring, let me save you some time — the Nationals are already World Series champs. Unfortunately for Nats fans, baseball writers’ opinions are about as impactful on the game as the crapper-wisdom you see etched in the stalls of stadium restrooms across this great nation.

To meet expectations, the Nats will have to go on a “162-game victory tour” and ride their Murderer’s Row pitching staff to the World Series — call me a pessimist typical D.C. sports fan, but this situation screams out disappointment.

Perhaps it is the bad taste left in my mouth from playoff collapses of years passed, or maybe the fact that anytime a D.C. team builds up expectations the results are soul-crushing; regardless, I’ve grown weary of the 90+ win projections and “where’s my ring?” mentality. The Nats — a team that hasn’t won a playoff series in their entire decade of existence — will be wearing a bigger target this year than the defending champion Giants. Sports don’t always make sense.

The 2015 Nats will face all of the hatred and expectations of a champion with none of the perks that come with wearing the crown. If that’s not enough to quell your expectations, take a look at the injury report. It looks like our entire team is paying tribute to baseball’s creator, Abner Doubleday.

In an effort to balance the dichotomy between inflated expectations and the inherent fears of a D.C. sports fan, let’s take stock of the Nats’ key personnel as Opening Day approaches.

GM – Rizzo

Stock: Rising. Every time the thought creeps into my head that the Nationals’ championship window might be closing, I remind myself of how Rizzo built this team from the ground up and how he built it for perennial success. Feel better already, don’t you?

Manager – Williams

Stock: Even. Thus far, Matt Williams has proven to be a phenomenal manager … during the regular season. For better or worse, his legacy will be defined by what he does in the fall.

1B – Zimmerman

Stock: Rising. Okay, so maybe his stock is only rising because he is coming off of the shortest, and worst, season of his career. Nonetheless, the artist formerly known as Walk-off should be primed for a Comeback Player of the Year-type season. One of the few positive storylines from Spring Training has been the lack of drama surrounding his defensive adjustment to first base.

2B – Escobar/Espinosa/Uggla (seriously)

Stock: Falling. When will the Nats go into a season without drama at 2B? Rendon was the answer last season, then Zimmerman crumbled at third base forcing Rendon to save the day at the hot corner. This season: Escobar is covering third with Rendon ailing, Espinosa is not a switch-hitter anymore (this solves nothing), and Dan Uggla has convinced people that a vision issue is the only reason he has been one of the worst second baseman in baseball the past two seasons. When Anthony Rendon is healthy, the world is a better place.

3B – Rendon

Stock: Too nervous to assess. Just get well, Tony Two Bags. We need you, we love you. Keep your cursed hands off of him, Dr. James Andrews!

SS – Desmond

Stock: Even. All signs point to this being Desi’s final season in Washington which is a bit sad. The good news? This is a contract year and he will be playing his heart out. The bad news? He may swing even harder and more often.

C – Ramos

Stock: Falling. Will Ramos ever match the offensive potential the team expects of him? He should have a great opportunity for a hot start this season, likely batting fifth due to injuries. If he can stay healthy, he could have a career year — if not, Jose Lobaton, anyone?

RF – Harper

Stock: Rising. Beard of Zeus, arms of steel, and the fire of Hades in his eyes. Each season Harper teases us with his MVP potential only to crash into a wall in May, and then play catch-up the rest of the season. The theory that the baseball gods are telling Harper to slow down gains steam with each fractured season he plays, but you won’t want to miss a game if this is the season it all finally comes together for him.

CF – Span

Stock: Falling. Span was phenomenal last season and was the catalyst for the best baseball the team played throughout August. A Spring Training injury has opened the door one year early for Span’s replacement-in-waiting, Michael Taylor. Span should earn his job back from Taylor by late May but any expectations of matching last season’s numbers are overly ambitious.

LF – Werth

Stock: Falling. Surgery and some weekend jail time in the offseason never lead to optimistic outlooks. This team needs Werth’s leadership down the stretch more than they do in the spring. If the Nats get off to a decent start, there should be no hurry in bringing Werth back into the lineup. Nonetheless, Rizzo’s acquisition of den Dekker leads me to believe that this team is preparing to play without Werth and Span for longer than they are leading on.

Scherzer – SP1

Stock: Rising. The guy is a stud. He says all the right things and seems to have the disposition and fortitude to instill confidence in the clubhouse where doubt has crept in in the past. The Nats will lean on him Opening Day just as they will if they find themselves in a skid at any point this season. With any luck he will be the man on the hill for Game 1 of the NLDS, NLCS, and WS. If that’s the case, you won’t hear another critic say that Washington overpaid for their ace.

Zimmermann – SP2

Stock: Rising. There are no less than 20 teams who would publicly flog their ball boy for the chance to sign Jordan Zimmermann as their ace. He’s second in the Nats’ rotation. It looks inevitable that the Nats will have to part with him at the end of the season — there is no doubt he will make it painful to say goodbye with every gem he pitches. I hope I live long enough to forgive Matt Williams for pulling him in the ninth inning of Game 2 last season.

Strasburg – SP3

Stock: Even. One of the biggest storylines of the year for this team will be watching how Strasburg performs as the team’s third starter. Will it relieve the pressure he always seemed to be under as the team’s ace, or will it dull his confidence and send him into regression? It’s hard to believe that this will be Strasburg’s sixth season of major league ball — the Nats still aren’t sure what he is capable of. The impending departures of Zimmermann and Fister from the staff make Strasburg’s production in 2015 all the more relevant.

Gonzalez – SP4

Stock: Rising. Gio will bounce back this year. Last season was his worst in Washington, and battling an early season injury was no help. The only lefty in the rotation will remind us why he is being paid $8 million more than Tanner Roark this season.

Fister – SP5

Stock: Falling. Doug Fister pitched out of his mind last season. If he puts up the same numbers and the rest of the staff achieves their averages, the Nats could win 100 games.

Bullpen

Stock: Falling. If any area on this team scares me, it’s the bullpen. The starting rotation could pitch seven shut-out innings every night and it wouldn’t matter if the bullpen isn’t able to put the game away. I have little faith in the Tanner Roark experiment — he’s had a taste of starting games and now anything else dulls his effectiveness. There are plenty of arms in the bullpen, but none worthy of blind trust. If Janssen can’t fill the Clippard void, Stammen and Barrett will get their chances, but watch for Blake Treinen to develop into the most valuable asset in the Nats’ pen by season’s end.

Closer – Storen

Stock: Even. No player on the Nationals’ roster personifies the difference between regular season and playoff baseball like Drew Storen. I love Storen in the regular season. I have about 15 times more faith in Storen closing games for the Nats this year than I did in Soriano closing games last spring. In the most volatile position in all of professional sports, I trust Drew Storen — in the regular season. The baseball fan in me hopes that Storen just needs one clean playoff series to right the ship. The D.C. sports fan in me thinks of him taking the mound, protecting a one-run lead in the NLDS and oops I just soiled myself.

So there you have it. It’s not time to panic, nor is it time to clear your November schedule for a parade down Pennsylvania Avenue. This team has made improvements since last season but I expect their record to fall somewhere in the 88-96 win range. Injuries are the story right now but a 162-game season should turn this pre-season paranoia into a blip on the radar. If I missed any heroes or goats, please share it with the world in the user-friendly comment section below. Go Nats.

Also Read: 10 Storylines for the 2015 Washington Nationals

Follow Patrick on Twitter @RubGun and send your e-mail, questions and topic suggestions to cannon1067@gmail.com.