I had a pet tarantula and I let starve to death. The memory of him laying there wilted and the realization that it was because of me was almost like reliving it all over again. It was so vivid, almost like a flashback. On the next iteration of finger tracking an almost sickening realization hit me.

When I was little I didn’t have any friends other than my pets and I had let my only friend starve to death.

It seems that I have let most of my friendships wither and die off much like my tarantula.

Finally a positive emdr memory

The story behind the memory

The story starts in winter at the local gas station in my hometown. I was visiting my AIR QUOTES girlfriend at the time and I assume I was just hanging BSing in the gas station.. The forecast called for a severe blizzard, one of the storms where you could just sense that it was going to be bad.

Prior to the blizzard there had not been much snow on the ground, but once it hit it was a complete white out.

An elderly woman came in to the store and walked right up to me asking if I could help her get to a neighboring town about 8 miles south of there.

I had forgotten this memory up until my EMDR session. Her piercing blue terrified eyes came into my memory, begging me to help her get to her husband.

She certainly chose the right person because I love driving around in crazy weather so I hopped in my 1985 Grand Prix and slowly blazed a trail down the highway for her.

COMPLETE WHITE OUT

It was a complete white out. The 8 mile drive which should’ve taken about 10 minutes took about 45 driving about 5 miles an hour down the middle of the road. We didn't see a single other car the whole way. We made it the local gas station in the neighboring town where her husband was going to meet her. I was getting ready to leave when she came up to my car with some cash to give me.

I told her that I wasn't interested in the money, but she firmly insisted so I took it.

After telling my therapist the story she asked how it made me feel. ( Of course ) I told her it made me feel good, and that I enjoyed helping others when I can.

Thoughts after the therapy session