Anonymous asked: If it's not a bother or trigger for anyone, I'd like to hear from people who have psychosis how they first notice it starting or how were their early states of psychosis before it comes to what it is now, because, I've heard a little about the early symptoms and they fit quite well for me so far, and it'll take some time til I'm able to go to a psychiatrist, so I'd like to search a little from people who experience and see if I can relate to their experiences

relatable-psychosis:

It’s not a bother at all ^^ These were the first droplets of psychosis and my eventual diagnosis in general for me. I’m going holistic in case it helps you more, and ‘cause I don’t mind doing so~ I began having trouble organizing thoughts in my mind. Words would jump and wilt, thoughts would run into and over each other, sometimes just streaming of random ideas and words for lengthy periods of time keeping me from falling asleep or focusing on anything. Then it began affecting my ability to speak, so my grammar would get messed up and it really was the epitome of the phrase “word salad.” It also began to affect my ability to read in a way I’ve outlined here. These things started to occur suddenly and progressed rapidly. I began to have more odd perceptions more frequently than ever before. Hearing footsteps while home alone, loud bangs from other rooms, balls of light floating, muffled whispering in my head, human noises from a hairdryer, breathing from my bookcase, etc. These have been periodic issues for as long as I can remember in my life, but then they started happening basically every day. Around the same time, lack of motivation - avolition - hit me hard, I started isolating myself more, and insomnia hit an all time high. There were issues that started while growing up which were recognized but there wasn’t a context for them. When the above started cascading, a new context became clear: catatonic behavior (scroll to abnormal motor behavior), lack of emotional expression (reductions in the expression of emotions in the face, eye contact, and movements of the hand, head, and face that normally give an emotional emphasis to speech) and a monotone voice, painful sensory overload, and illogical thinking leading into delusional thought and poor behavior. Like for years off and on since elementary school, I’ve believed there’s a dead girl in my closet and it makes it harder for me to fall asleep, I try not to be in my room as much, pile things up outside the closet door, think I have to act a certain way if I am in my room, etc. If others wish to chime in, I’ll post their asks/submissions as I receive them, and also reblog any comments left. And to you, feel free to keep writing here as you await your appointment and at any time, really ^^

- Mod Alex

It’s been a while! >_< This was posted in May. I’m adding the comments others made to this now and shortly after, an ask someone sent in answering this shall be posted.

- Mod Alex

@andthenshewentonliving:

I started experiencing auditory and tactile hallucinations at 14. It wasnt very intense. Just a man that would follow me around. I actually didnt knkw it was a hallucination. For years I just thought it was my brain registering my more or less untreated depression weird. Actually my depression was probably also a big teller that I was schizophrenic as a teenager but because no one knew I was experiencing hallucinations it was just treated as teenage angst



@birbonify:

I told myself my anxiety created monsters. I just thought it was anxiety. I always felt that i just saw the world differently or had an active imagination. Once ir began to negatively affect me is when i realized it was so much more. I also believe in ghosts so it was hard to distinctively tell them apart but now i know how to. When i began to visually hallucinate more, it always physically hurt to see them and i would heavily dissasociate and be so hard to talk down



@happybecchen:

My psychotic smyptoms are part of my bpd but I didn’t know they were psychotic at all until i was an adult. I have always had voices in my head and they always spoke in different languages and screamed at me (still do). I was absolutely positively SURE that both of my parents died in a really graphic, bloody car accident whenever they went away for longer than half an hour. Screaming and panicking and grieving sure. Frantically running after them in pyjamas sure.

I started getting auditory hallucinations while in my teens, but I still didn’t get what that was. It was mostly people mumbling and laughing in the distance. And now and then I am absolutely, positively sure to smell gas in random places and that it’s gonna blow up any second. It combines weirdly with my constant dissociation. Like constant floaty unrealness yet in that moment positively ‘knowing’ that this (smell/sounds) is happening in that moment 🤔

