I came across the initial spam email searching for recent scams and thought I would try to raise some hell. Either the U.S. ambassador to Nigeria, and his secretary Antony Eze, has a brain injury effecting his language skills, has been taking acid regularly for several decades , or this is simply a Nigerian 419 scam.

I painfully read through the scammer’s incomprehensible diatribe and prepared for the personas I would use as my toolkit. I though my nice old lady Jacqueline Reddenbacher. Didn’t Mr. Entwistle( didn’t he play bass for the Who?)

Mugu: An email from a person claiming to be James F. Entwistle – US Ambassador to Nigeria

From: James Entwistle To: Jacqueline Reddenbacher

Dear: Beneficiary,

After an official meeting held with the president of Nigeria president good luck Jonathan and minister of finance miss Ngozi Okonjo Iweala concerning unpaid and unclaimed funds to foreign beneficiaries, i was very much annoyed when i found out from your file that you paid so much money yet you have not still receive your compensation funds. For that reason i have decided to help personal get you?re fund. My name is ambassador James F. Entwistle the present U S ambassador to NigeriA…

Mrs. Anthonio smith———- Maryland

USA Mr. Roy rry————-Florida us amiss.

Marlyna jones ——–Atlantic Georgia

the above mentioned are the three persons who has received there fund by my assistance in January and i can?t see why yours will not be possible. …

The cost of registering is just $120 as paid by orders who just receive there fund presently. The fee must be paid in the next 72 hours via western union or money gram …

Yours sincerely ambassador

James f. Entwistle U.s ambassador to Nigeria

This scammer is trying to do what I call a “double dip” He is looking for someone that has been scammed in the past and acting as if that the fictional and promised funds are still there. I will claim to be illiterate but at the same time use words that he can’t possibly understand. I do not know where I will go with this but there is nothing like improvisation.

From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher To: James Entwistle

Dear Mr. Ambassador,

I would like to thank you very much for your kind email. I can not read and write very well and the way to articulate my thoughts in a comprehensive manner can leave one perplexed and nonplussed. Therefore, I would like to move forward with your request, but what is the first step in receiving my money?.

I am a 79 year old woman and I am running behind on my mortgage so I need the money as soon as possible. Also, in all future correspondence, can you please write bigger as my eyesight is not very good.

Best Regards,

Jacqueline Reddenbacher

Subsequently, I get an email from someone claiming to be Anthony Eze, the personal assistant of Mr. Entwistle, asking for personal information and $120. It’s such a deal. Just $120 for $5.5M. After all. He receive my respond and he advice me.

From: Anthony Eze To: Jacqueline Reddenbacher

Attention: Jacqueline Reddenbacher.

I receive your respond and the content is well noted i will advice you to go ahead and send the $120 for you to receive your draft payment of $5.5m usd the ambassador will be leaving to America with other beneficiary who have register their draft so as soon as you are sending the western you can send the money by Monday morning. union information you include this information below.

1. Your full name

2. Cell phone number

3. Address where you want me to bring the package).

RECEIVERS NAME;

Anthony Eze

LAGOS NIGERIA

TEST QUESTION;TRUST

ANSWER;GOD

AMOUNT SENT;$120

SENDER NAME AND ADDRESSYours FaithfullyDR ANTHONY EZE.

secretary to ambassador.

Now it is time to send the money but I will send a warm up email before I actually generate the receipt.

A little hardship to let him know that I am really desperate is in order. I will also give a P.O. Box for my address and add too many digits in my phone number. Now I search for a hint if my messages are actually being read or it is just a cut and paste monkey.

From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher To: Anthony Eze

Hi Antony,

The email you sent is well received and mostly understood. This is a very good time for me to receive the money because I just learned that I need an operation on my back. I don’t have any insurance and my savings are almost gone. I am very glad that there is a good man like you in the world.

Here is the information that you need:

Jacqueline Reddenbacher

(718) 4497 23458

P.O Box 717

Jersey City New jersey 07896

Since this was around Christmas time and I’m a Seinfeld fan I decide to bring the spirit of Festivus. Also, it would be far too convenient for our friend if there was a fake western union near by. I decided instead that there should only be a fake Money Gram in my neighborhood.

From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher To: Anthony Eze

The only problem is that I don’t have a Western Union around here, so I will have to send the money via Money Gram

All the best to you and your family this Fesitvus season

Jackie

Since he wants it via Western Union, I will “send it” via Money Gram.

He must have been very anxious to receive the money, so I just went ahead and made a special receipt

From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher To: Anthony Eze

Hi Anthony,

I had a friend drive me to the quick stop and I got the money gram paid for in your name. Please find the attached copy of the receipt.

Please have the diplomat come as soon as possible with my money because I have to have my surgery and the money is going to pay for it.

Yours (and nobody else’s) Truly,

Jackie

Poor Mr Eze, I think he is a bit disappointed with the Money Gram Receipt

From: Anthony Eze To: Jacqueline Reddenbacher

Attention: Jacqueline Reddenbacher.The money gram information you receive is not complete you should send the REFERENCE MTCN number.note that the telephone number is not going and it not ok check all this information below if there are ok cor check them and resend them to avoid mistake

Jacqueline Reddenbacher

(718) 4497 23458

P.O Box 717

Jersey City New jersey 07896

Mrs. Reddenbacher is a bit confused

From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher To: Anthony Eze

Dear Anthony,

I don’t quite understand. The man from the Quickie Mart said to send you the paper and everything would work. Of course, I want this to be easy because I need the money for the operation on my back. I am just happy that there are good men like you and the ambassador in this world.I will be leaving for my operation tomorrow. If I am in the hospital, can the Ambassador bring the money to me there? I will need it to pay for everything or else they will not let me go home. Attached is a copy of the receipt that he gave me. I think that will help you get the money.Please pray for me. I know that a good man like you can really touch the heart of god and I need his help.May God Bless You and I hope you and your family had a very happy Festivus!!

Jackie, PMS

Here comes the caps. I THINK HE IS GETTING FRUSTRATED

I think our advance fee scammer is getting frustrated. He also wants the name of the fictional (he doesn’t know it’s fictional) hospital. This is rich.

From: Anthony Eze To: Jacqueline Reddenbacher

ATTENTION JACK REDDENBACHERI RECEIVE YOUR EMAIL BUT I CANNOT UNDERSTAND IT PLEASE FOR GOODNESS SAKE USE THIS INFORMATION BELOW TO GO TO MONEY GRAM OR WESTERN UNION.RECEIVER

NAME;ANTHONY EZE

LAGOS NIGERIA

TEXT QUESTION;TRUST

ANSWER;GOD

AMOUNT

SENT;$120

SENDERS NAME AND ADDRESS.YOU CAN GIVE THIS INFORMATION TO ANYBODY TO SEND FOR YOU THE WESTERN UNION MTCN IS 10 DIGIT NUMBER WHILE THE MONEY GRAM MTCN IS 8 DIGIT NUMBER BUT THE ONE YOU SAID YOU SEND IS 11 DIGIT NUMBER SO I DON;T KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THIS PLEASE CO-CHECK AND ACT ACCORDING TO THE INSTRUCTION I GAVE YOU NOW LET THE INFORMATION BE CORRECTED TODAY AND THE AMBASSADOR WILL LEAVE IMMEDIATELY WITH YOUR FUND TO ANY WHERE YOU

ARE BUT THE ONLY THING NOW IS THAT YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER WILL BE NEEDED AND THE NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE HOSPITAL IS ALSO NEEDED.WAITING VERY URGENT.MR ANTHONY EZE.

Mrs. Reddenbacher is an old woman and her back has gone out. Time to send her to the hospital’s “Bad Back Ward” I think a long rambling email with some numbers should make him actually try to read my reply

From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher To: Anthony Eze

Jack Reddenbacher Hi Anthony,

I thank you for your concern and I appreciate all your prayers. When a good person like you prayers, god always answers, even for a broken down old woman like myself. I was talking to my neighbor Mrs. Jinglebells. She was walking her dog Flem. Flem is a poodle. He is so cute 🙂 Do you like doggies? She was telling me her phone number 210 589 33345

Anyway, Mrs. Jinglebells has a son in the coastguard and she had to send money to him once when he was in Italy. She said that the problem is that you have to convert it into Nigerian money she once sent $2000 USD. That is why you are having problems.I think I gave you the correct phone number. It is in my cell phone. My daughter Nightingale gave it to me last Festivus. It it is a devil to find any number but I think my number is: (718) 447 248. The hospital I will be staying in is the : Jersey City Christian Hospital of the Secured Virgin Mary. It is located:

220 Grandson Street

Jersey City, NJ 07302I will be in the bad back ward in room $220 but I don’t think they will allow me to use my cell phone number 298 298 8769 – 4. I am glad we got the money thing straightened out and I am sure I will see the ambassador in my recovery room with the MONEY.God Bless You!

Jackie

Getting lazy or more retarded, Mr. Eze sends the same email again

From: Anthony Eze To: Jacqueline Reddenbacher

Dec 29

ATTENTION JACK REDDENBACHERI RECEIVE YOUR EMAIL BUT I CANNOT

UNDERSTAND IT PLEASE FOR GOODNESS SAKE USE THIS INFORMATION BELOW TO GO TO MONEY GRAM OR WESTERN UNION.RECEIVER

NAME;ANTHONY EZE

LAGOS NIGERIA

TEXT QUESTION;TRUST

ANSWER;GOD

AMOUNT SENT;$120…

Mrs. Reddenbacher should have an auto reply when she is out. Now she does

From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher (auto reply) To: Anthony Eze

Thank you for writing THE OFFICE OF Jacqueline Reddenbacher(TM). You email is very impotent to me and I will write you back as soon as I return from the hospital bad back ward..

Sent from my EyePhone

I decided that a nice old lady as Mrs. Reddenbacher should have a caring son. Poof, Mr. John Reddenbacher is born. He is a little more sane than his mother (at least for now) A good son should get all the facts right. Therefore, he will ask for the information all over again. I will also botch a few things to help piss him off

From: John Reddenbacher To: Anthony Eze

Dear Mr. Eze,

I am John Reddenbacher, Jacqueline Reddenbacher’s son. She has, unfortunately, been taken to the hospital today as she requires back surgery. She will be there for several days but she had given me your email address and requested that I contact you.

First of all, I would like to thank you for all your support. She told me that you have been an inspiration to her and I would like to personally thank you for your support in the MONEY. She also said that she had sent you some MONEY through MONEYgram and you are having a great deal of trouble cashing it. Sometimes she gets confused with numbers, so to fix the situation, I can send your FUNDS through Western Union personally.I just need to know a few things.Where and to whom should I send it to.

She said it is for $150. is that the correct amount?.

What is this money for?What is the business deal and how will this money be used?Send me that information and I will make sure that I send you the money first thing in the morning.Respectfully,

Prof. John Reddenbacher Esq

Mr Eze sends another email to Jacqueline but, of course, she never received it because there are no computers in the bad back hospital

From: Anthony Eze To: Jacqueline Reddenbacher

ATTENTION JACK REDDENBACHERI RECEIVE YOUR EMAIL AND IT IS WELL UNDERSTOOD AND I AM VERY SOORY FOR WHAT MUMMY IS GOING THROUGH I BELIEVE SHE WILL BE OK AS SOON AS POSSIBLY IN JESUS NAME YOU ARE SENDING THE MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION

MONEY TRANFER WITH THIS INFORMATION BELOW OK THE AMOUNT TO SEND IS $120 NOT $150 RECEIVER

NAME;ANTHONY EZE

LAGOS NIGERIA

TEXT QUESTION;TRUST

ANSWER;GOD

AMOUNT SENT;$120

SENDERS NAME AND ADDRESS.SINCE YOU SAID YOU WILL BE GOING TO WESTERN UNION THIS MORNING TO SEND IT I WILL BE WAITING FOR THE PAYMENT INFORMATION……WAITING VERY URGENT.MR ANTHONY EZE.

John writes to say he did not hear from him in time. Moron, he didn’t notice that I was using a different email address and continued to write “Mommy” New years eve is a good excuse to delay things and keep him on the hook a bit longer. It will also be nice to ask for the information all over again

From: John Reddenbacher To: Anthony Eze

I am still awaiting your reply. Unfortunately, it is now New Year’s eve. and no one is conducting business. I was hoping for your reply but to no avail. I understand that a good man like yourself was probably out helping someone, so I understand the delay. Now the transaction will have to wait until Jan 2nd. Please provide me with the details I require and I will get the money to you as quickly as possible.Happy New Year,

Prof. Dr. Mr. Reddenbacher Esq

John writes once again announcing that his mother is not doing well in “The Bad Back Ward”

From: John Reddenbacher To: Anthony Eze

Mr. Eze,

My mother wanted to thank you again for all your help. She is not doing very well in the bad back ward and she asked for you to pray over her picture.

Nevertheless, I am still awaiting your info so I can WU the money to you.

Happy New Year,

John

Mr Eze (such a nice man) prayed for “Our Mother” He also remembered to send the information for Western Union

From: Anthony Eze To: Jacqueline Reddenbacher

ATTENTION JACK REDDENBACHER

I RECEIVE YOUR EMAIL AND I PRAY THAT OUR MOTHER WILL BE HEAL IN JESUS NAME WE PRAY AMEN. THIS IS THE INFORMATION YOU REQUESTED AND I WILL ALSO LIKE YOU TO SEND TO ME YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER MR JOHN.

RECEIVER NAME;ANTHONY EZE

LAGOS NIGERIA

TEXT QUESTION;TRUST

ANSWER;GOD

AMOUNT SENT;$120

SENDERS NAME AND ADDRESS.

I WILL BE WAITING

Mother wants Mr. Eze’s picture

From: Jacqueline Reddenbacher To: Anthony Eze

to Anthony

Thank you so much Mr. Eze,

My mother said that she would like to have a picture of you as well

Thank you again,

John

Jack Reddenbacher

John sends a brand new Western Union

From: John Reddenbacher To: Anthony Eze

Hi Anthoney,

I just got out of the hospital with my mom. She is not doing very well but your prayers. My mother said that she would love to see a picture of you. She likes you a lot and just mentioning you makes her smile.

Anyway,

I got the Western Union sent this morning. Here is a photocopy of the receipt. I trust you should have no problem cashing it.

Always a pleasure,

John Reddenbacher = Esq

No reply to the last email so I assumed that he was unable to cash the Western Union(I certainly hope so or I am in the wrong business) Our friend simply disappeared so here is where I stick the final nail in his coffin

From: John Reddenbacher To: Anthony Eze

Scam Baiter: The final email and a big thank you for playing

Hi Anthony,

I just want to thank you for playing. It was a lot of fun and I guess all good things must come to an end. Maybe we can play again someday. I can get another email address and you won’t know it’s me until the end.

So now you have it. There is no Jackie Reddenbacker and there is no son John.

There is just a scambater somewhere across the world who has chosen you.

Before I say good bye, I would like to give you this gift. I only give it to my favorites and you definitely are one of them. I hope you accept it graciously and enjoy it for years to come. Show it to your friends and family. Hang it on the wall at your internet cafe. Tattoo it on your mother’s ass so everybody in your village can enjoy it.

You have been blessed,

Casper the Holy Ghost, friend of the 419 Mugu

Mr. Eze has to have the last say. This is where it all becomes worth while

From: Anthony Eze To: The Real Me

YOU ARE A JOKE FUCK. DONT WRIT NO MORE AND BURN IN HELL!!

I am still here to torment other scammers

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