Allison Christin Mack turned 37 today.

It’s the second year in a row that she has not been with her Vanguard to celebrate the event.

Given that she’ll be heading off to federal prison sometime in the next few months, she’s also not going to be with him for several more birthdays.

And once she gets out, she’ll only be able to see him if she’s able to get on his “Approved Visitor’s List” because Vanguard will, in all likelihood, never get out of prison himself. At least not alive.

Past birthdays meant that Keith Raniere would definitely be with her for a “birthday fuck” (He did that for all the women in his harem – even the ones who were no longer young enough or skinny enough to merit more regular visits).

And if she was especially lucky, Keith would even bring along another woman for her to enjoy.

*****

Birthdays Are A Time For Celebration & Reflection

For most people, birthdays are happy occasions.

They’re times to be with family members and friends – and to celebrate life.

But they’re also a time to reflect on the past – and to think about what lies ahead.

So, let’s try to imagine what Allison was thinking about today.

*****

Thoughts Of Impending Imprisonment Never Goes Away

Regardless of how hard Allison tries, she simply cannot stop thinking about the fact that she will be headed off to federal prison in the not too distant future.

That thought has to be in her head 24/7.

It starts first thing in the morning when she steps out of bed and feels that ankle monitor drop down into place.

Allison Allison Mack’s ankle monitorAnd it stays with her throughout the day as she whiles away her time at her parent’s house where she is on home detention.

Even if it’s a day when she gets to leave the house, she’ll probably have to check in with her Probation Officer to confirm where she’s going, what time she left the house, what time she got to the approved location, what time she left the approved location, and what time she returned home.

And if she happened to get randomly selected for another “piss test” today, then she’d have to head over to the Probation Office – and urinate into the little cup in front of an attendant. So much humiliation in a 30-second encounter.

Thoughts of life in prison probably invade her dreams most nights.

How long will her sentence be?

Where will she serve her time?

Will she be safe?

Will she survive?

*****

Thoughts Of What Life Used To Be Like

For someone like Allison – who at one time had a storybook life – it’s also impossible not to think back to happier birthdays.

Not the ones that she spent with the Vanguard.

But rather the ones she spent as a successful Hollywood actress who was one of the stars on a TV series than ran for 10 years. Not many people achieve that level of success in Hollywood.

Or the ones she spent with her family as she was growing up – when life was full of endless possibilities.

Certainly, the ones that marked important stages of her life: getting to double-digits at 10; become a teenager at 13; moving into adulthood at 18; and becoming a full-fledged adult at 21.

And all the ones she spent with boyfriends and lovers.

Happy times…Good memories…

Will she ever have any more of those?

*****

How The Fuck Did I Get Where I Am?

In the course of the last 15 months, Allison has gone from being a lesser-known Hollywood actress to being a convicted felon.

Certainly, she has to have reflected today on how she got to this point in her life.

She probably recalls the fateful discussion she had with her Smallville co-star Kristin Kreuk, who had already begun attending NXIVM training sessions – and who talked her into attending one herself.

Then the love-bombing that occurred as the NXIVM High-Rank convinced her how important it was for her to come to Albany, NY to continue her training.

The private jet provided by the Bronfman sisters.

The introduction to Keith Raniere, the self-proclaimed “smartest man in the world”.

Her first sexual experience with the Vanguard (This was before he was, so to speak, struck down with Erectile Dysfunction).

Her acceptance of the fact that she would have to share Keith with a multitude of other women.

Her resolve to become his #1 woman.

His promise that she would bear his avatar baby who would change the world (Keith made this promise to lots of women).

The death of Pam Cafritz – and Allison’s elevation to be the leader of Jness.

Keith’s decision to make her the head of DOS (Sorry, Lauren, for jumping ahead of you but a girl’s gotta do what she has to do to please her man. And besides, you’re too old to be the head of anything).

The discussions with Keith about branding the members of DOS.

How and where to do the brandings.

Taking close-up pictures of other women’s vaginas.

WHAT?

WAIT A MINUTE.

DID I REALLY DO ALL THAT SHIT OR IS THIS JUST A BAD DREAM?

Sorry, sister…Take a look at your left ankle. This ain’t no dream.

*****

What Lies Ahead?

For all that she’s been through in the past 15 months – and all that she’s going to have to get through for the next 48-72 months – Allison Mack’s life is not over. Not by a longshot.

On this, her 37th birthday, she needs to focus on the fact that she’ll still be in her early 40s when she’s released from prison.

Basically in the prime of her life.

Now is the time for her to start thinking about what she’s going to do with the rest of her life.

That part has yet to be written.

Maybe she’ll become an advocate for abused women or female prisoners.

Maybe she’ll help other women who become enmeshed in cult-like operations.

Maybe she’ll reach out to the many women that she harmed – and try to make amends.

That’s the beauty of the future.

It’s all “maybe”…

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