Doing Crossfit does not make you special. Doing Crossfit and writing a paleo themed blog with your sweet potato frittata recipes does not make you special. Going to the Crossfit games makes you pretty damn special. Working out for an hour a day multiples times a week does not make you special. Discovering Arcade Fire before they won a Grammy does not make you fucking special. But for some reason, tons of people try Crossfit, start a blog, and think they have discovered this workout program that forges average people into Spartan warriors. People have been doing high intensity workouts that make you puke long before the formation of Crossfit. Read gates of fire, they had pre teens puking their guts out and they became Spartan warriors. Warriors who killed each other and stabbed things. Doing Fran does not make you a fucking warrior, nor does sliming up those last 10 burpees after the class time is over.

Sources. Lets use some sources.

How Crossfit Develops Mental Toughness

This fucking guy. Personally like his blog, but on this post he decides to compare the compartmentalizing of a WOD to that of a solider “faced with the near certainty of death.” Wait a fucking minute, do you really think one of his clients athletes doing 45 pull ups is even close to that of death. I get where this guy is going with it because yeah going in and doing some hard workout probably makes you a lot mentally tougher than a person who sat on the couch. But really? Common. This is exercising we are talking about. Not storming the beaches of Normandy.

Rick Ross is Cooler Than You

Rick Ross’s fat ass does Crossfit. He does enough blow to substitute it for chalk. I highly doubt he told everyone in his entourage about how fucking awesome Crossfit was because he is a fucking boss. White on white that’s fucking Ross. He would probably get shot if he tried to write a song about Crossfit or start a blog about how persecuted he is for his workouts. I bet he even has more mental toughness than you. I’m positive he also squats in kilos only.

I Can’t Even Comprehend This One

Rebecca wherever you are, this post made me want to reach through the interwebs and slaw your face against a ROGUE designed box jump. You probably got your hip broken for writing a dumb blog about something else before you started Crossfit. I’ve got a few points to argue with you here.

“The task at hand was Filthy 50. Do 50 reps of every crossfit movement imaginable until you pass out or die or even worse – don’t finish.” I can just imagine that smug fucking look on your face as you typed this. You write this like you were about the overcome the hardest fucking task imaginable. Please tell me why I should worship you immense dedication to exercising. Maybe you were incredibly sarcastic when you wrote this, which would make this incredibly laughable. We all know you were incredibly serious when you wrote this though. I bet you were on the sideline screaming bloody murder at the coach that didn’t play your little “athlete.” Hell the coach probably told his actual athlete to go hip check you. You had a person quit in the middle of this workout and seemed totally ok with that. At the gym I go to, you would be asked to never come back. “So she could live to WOD another day” sounds more like your gym has a fake sense of mental toughness especially when you have a boot camp program. Good luck finding an actual boot camp that lets you “live to wod another day.” So for all this talk of how big of hard-o’s you are since you do Crossfit, you still quit workouts. This just adds to why people hate you.

I feel like every time I get on facebook or just the internet, I see an article along the lines of “Someone mocked crossfit and they just don’t understand it and think we are a cult” Well actually they are probably just mocking you because you wont shut the fuck up about how you have gotten up off the couch and actually put time into working out. Every time you claim crossfit isn’t a cult, you only make people hate you and think you are a dipshit. “We aren’t a cult! We are a community! We take average people and make warriors!” Good for you, you started working out and saw results. But holy fucking tits, you make me hate associating myself with Crossfit. When you are asking about doing WOD’s at the damn airport, maybe you did drink the damn Kool Aid and joined a cult. I swear on the life of my unborn child, that I will kick a person in the face if I see them doing a “Travel WOD” while waiting for a lay over. If I wear any crossfit gear, I now am associated with your stupid fucking blog. I was taught a very simple lesson in elementary school. No one likes a bragger. “HOLY SHIT I DO CROSSFIT AND YOU SUCK BECAUSE YOU DON’T AND I DID 100 BURPEES AT MY ON RAMP CLASS, TRY PALEO BECAUSE YOUR DIET SUCKS ASS. BLARGHGH ARGH IM BETTER THAN YOU” No fucking shit people hate you since you started Crossfit. People hate you, and by guilt by association they hate Crossfit. Fuck you for ruining Crossfit for me.

*I am an active member in the Crossfit community, but have some serious gripes with how people are displaying themselves on the internet regarding their new found workout program. I congratulate every person who is willing to work their ass off to see success, but people have been grinding away for years and years to better themselves. Do you really think your Great Great Great Great Grandfather would think you were the tits for getting up at 6am to do a one hour WOD? No, I bet he would tell you to quit sleeping in so late and help your brother go hunt down dinner.