Did you know fireworks come in colors now? Lotta people don't know that.

Hey everybody, he's doing it again. Donald Trump has an innovative new proposal: What if we, like, celebrated the 4th of July, but made it more about Donald Trump?

x HOLD THE DATE! We will be having one of the biggest gatherings in the history of Washington, D.C., on July 4th. It will be called Ã¢ÂÂA Salute To AmericaÃ¢ÂÂ and will be held at the Lincoln Memorial. Major fireworks display, entertainment and an address by your favorite President, me! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 24, 2019

Fireworks on the 4th of July? Now that’s just the kind of bold idea-having we’ve come to expect from Donald Trump, Idea Man.

So we’re all clear that this is going to somehow end in another indictment, right? There is now a criminal investigation into Trump’s much-ballyhooed inaugural events, an effort to determine just what happened to large chunks of the $100 million Trump’s team raised from extraordinarily generous donors. There’s no way we get through a Trump-branded 4th of July celebration without at least one of his children being arrested for trying to smuggle fireworks out of the venue in their pants.