Talk about a race to the bottom.

Legislators in the great state of Alabama are moving swiftly to protect the safety of people using public restrooms.

Senator Phil Williams will introduce the Alabama Privacy Act, according to our news partners at AL.com. The bill will require bathrooms and changing rooms to either be exclusive to one gender or open to all genders. Bathrooms that are open to all genders must be staffed by an attendant at all times. According to the bill, any public institution the leaves bathrooms unattended could be hit with fines ranging from $2,000 to $3,500 and face potential lawsuits.

So it's not just a hysterical reaction to the nonexistent threat of men dressing up as women to gain entry to bathrooms because, come on, perversion, right? It's also a jobs program! Needless to say, State Sen. Phil Williams defines himself as a "conservative Republican."

Read the full text of the proposed legislation here.

The Daily Caller notes that it's not just Alabama (and before it, North Carolina) that's wrangling with bathroom bills. Texas' Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, writes Amber Randall, is dropping knowledge like he just had lunch at What-A-Burger:

"If laws are passed by cities and counties and school districts allow men to go into a bathroom because of the way they feel, we will not be able to stop sexual predators from taking advantage of that law, like sexual predators take advantage of the internet," Patrick explained."

Virginia, too, is prepping a bathroom bill, because it's important to deal with non-issues rather than, say, balance state budgets or rein in public pensions.

Because we don't actually live in a completely post-fact world yet, it's worth underscoring that non-discrimination ordinances (NDOs) have been in place for years in various jurisdictions and led to no uptick in bathroom crimes.

HT: The Twitter feed of former Reasoner and current Wash Poster Radley Balko.

Note on image: Curt Schilling was an excellent baseball pitcher and a generally terrible human being and game designer who cost Rhode Island taxpayers on the order of $50 million.

Related video: How To Share a Bathroom with a Trans Person in 4 Easy Steps.