“It’s a very volatile situation,” said Donnie Eppley, who oversees officiating for several high school and youth programs in central Pennsylvania.

In Oklahoma, aside from the shaming videos, clubs have made their own efforts to keep parents in line, including assigning game proctors to document bad behavior and even having children reprimand them.

“If a parent was acting up, we had a coach who would remove that parent’s child from the game and send her around to the other side of the field to talk to her parent,” said Eric Edwards, the father of three children playing soccer in the Tulsa area. “It was embarrassing for the kid and the parent. The girl went back in the game right afterward but most of the other parents were saying, ‘Thank God the coach did that.’”

In early May, Barlow donned his bright yellow referee jersey to work a semifinal game of the Oklahoma high school state soccer championships in Tulsa. To his relief, it went smoothly, with no irate parents or fans — and one even thanked him.

“That kind of thing does happen,” he said afterward, soaked in sweat outside the locker room. “Lots of people get it and are very nice, too.”

Earlier that day, Barlow was having breakfast with a handful of soccer coaches and administrators. One coach at the table, Richard Beattie, conceded that he was once the kind of person who might have ended up as a video star on Barlow’s Facebook page. But a few years ago, at a coaches meeting, he saw himself on video kicking a water bottle and yelling at the referee. He was embarrassed and resolved to change.

“I was once the biggest abuser,” Beattie said, “and if I can say that my behavior was unacceptable and had to change, then other people can do it, too.”

Barlow smiled.

“This is what I mean, this is what we’re trying to do,” Barlow said. “Have we won the war? No. Are we fighting back? Yeah, we are.”