The world of activism is often led by those who shout the loudest. The person in the group with the largest ego, the biggest voice, and the most unshakeable sense of self-belief begins to dominate space and conversation – and then the decision making process.

Unfortunately, this usually tends to be the straight, white, middle class men – the people whose lives are often least affected by the issue at hand. As a queer person, I have been left feeling unsafe and disempowered by this process. This isn’t a tirade against these men, but a reminder that we do need to discuss exactly how men should participate in Saturday’s women’s marches.

Emma Harris is an ex-pat from California who will be walking in London today. “I've had a very hard time as an American woman during the election and transition season with Brits ‘mansplaining’ the situation to me, so I'm wary of being talked over on the march. I'm also nervous about this because I've had bad experiences at other protests where I've felt erased,” she told me.

Trump Inauguration protests around the World Show all 14 1 /14 Trump Inauguration protests around the World Trump Inauguration protests around the World Activists from Greenpeace display a message reading "Mr President, walls divide. Build Bridges!" along the Berlin wall in Berlin on January 20, 2017 to coincide with the inauguration of Donald Trump as the 45th president of the United State Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World An activist holds up a sign at the "We Stand United" rally on the eve of US President-elect Donald Trump's inauguration outside Trump International Hotel and Tower in New York on January 19, 2017 in New York Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Protesters burn a U.S. flag and a mock flag with pictures of U.S. President-elect Donald Trump outside the U.S. embassy in metro Manila, Philippines Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Filipino protestors hold placcards during a protest rally in front of the US embassy in Manila, Philippines, 20 January 2017. On the eve of President-elect Donald Trump's inaguration as the 45th president of the United States, Filipinos and Fil-Americans held a protest in front of the US embassy in Manila to denounce the incoming US president. Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Hong Kong police officers and security guards look on as an anarchist protester belonging to the Disrupt J20 movement sits after using a heavy duty D-lock and motorcycle lock to chain himself to a railing at the entrance gate to the Consulate General of the United States of America in Hong Kong to protest the inauguration of United States President-elect Donald Trump, Hong Kong, China, 20 January 2017. Two activists were arrested and taken away by Hong Kong police during the demonstration. Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World A banner is unfurled on London's Tower Bridge, organised by Bridges Not Walls - a partnership between grassroots activists and campaigners working on a range of issues, formed in the wake of Donald Trump's election, which aims to build bridges to a world free from hatred and oppression. Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Protesters chain themselves to an entry point prior at the inauguration of U.S. President-elect Donald Trump in Washington, DC, U.S. Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Bridges Not Walls banner dropped from Molenbeek bridge in Brussels, Belgium, 20 January 2017, in an Greenpeace action part of protests Wolrd protest in solidarity with people in the US, the day Donald Trump sworn in as the 45th President of the United States. Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World A woman holds an anti-U.S. President-elect Donald Trump placard during a rally in Tokyo, Japan, Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World A Palestinian protester holds a placard during a demonstration against the construction of Jewish settlements in the occupied West Bank and against US President-elect Donald Trump, on January 20, 2017, near the settlement of Maale Adumim, east of Jerusalem Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Banners on North Bridge in Edinburgh as part of the Bridges Not Walls protest against US President Donald Trump on the day of his inauguration Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Russian artist Vasily Slonov (L) and his assistant carry a life-sized cutout, which is an artwork created by Slonov and titled "Siberian Inauguration", before its presentation on the occasion of the inauguration of U.S. President-elect Donald Trump, in a street in Krasnoyarsk, Russia Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World A woman holds a banner during a march to thank outgoing President Barack Obama and reject US President-elect Donald Trump before his inauguration at a park in Tokyo, Japan, 20 January 2017. EPA Trump Inauguration protests around the World Palestinian demonstrators protesting this week against a promise by Donald Trump to re-locate the US embassy to Jerusalem Reuters

“I've felt alone and useless being so far from home, and the march is one of the first times during this process that I can actually lend my body – which is very much contested territory under Trump's presidency – instead of just participating in online activism.”

Emma’s point should be taken on in all activist circles. But if you are a man attending a march the first step in being an effective ally on the dawn of Trump’s presidency is to recognise that tomorrow’s marches are not by, about, and for you. They are for Emma, other women and those who belong to oppressed groups; they are for those who feel fearful as the world turns towards a new political climate that may endanger them.

The Women’s March on Washington was organised to unify those who are going to be most affected by a president whose place in the White House was achieved through misogynist, racist, transphobic, homophobic and ableist propaganda. Perhaps the only group the new POTUS didn’t attack was straight white men, and probably because he is one himself.

Today there are a few steps that those people at the top of the privilege chain can take to ensure these marches serve to mobilise, empower, and unify members of oppressed groups.

First, be aware what and who you’re marching for. Read up, and engage with the need for protests like these beyond this day and this march.

Next, really consider the space you’re taking up: physical, audial, and visual space. Make sure people around you can see ahead of them; ensure you aren’t shouting the loudest — let women, people of colour, queer people, disabled people shout louder than you.

Alt-right leader Richard Spencer punched in the face during inauguration protest

Think about how the presence of strange men in public space can often be scary or unsafe for women and for other minorities, and be sure to watch your step, your arms and hands when marching. Relinquish your constant right to space and offer it to those to whom it belongs.

Check with your female friends if they want you to go with them. If they want to be with their female friends only, don’t be offended. Attend in solidarity anyway, but do so with other people who are happy to march with you. Prioritise the needs, desires and expressions of others: let women stomp, hold the megaphones, be on the frontlines. This all sounds rather obvious, but so often privilege is abused without the abuser recognizing their actions for what they are.

If you’re a man in attendance and spend the day “feeling your gender”, in the way that women so often do, that’s not a bad thing.