Only someone with a heart as cold as an abandoned Christmas tree would dare to suggest that Strictly Come Dancing isn’t what it used to be. Any attempt at criticising the doyenne of shiny-floored Saturday night TV is to lay yourself wide open for a pelting with heavy glitterballs. But after 17 seasons, the sequins are starting to drop off the ratings behemoth.

When Strictly first cha-cha-cha-ed on to Saturday night TV in 2004, bouffanted newsreader Natasha Kaplinsky unleashed those legs from behind the desk and she and Brendan Cole waltzed away with the glitterball trophy. The lineup was plundered from all corners of the BBC, with Bargain Hunt’s David Dickinson toning down his mahogany tan to play the joker.

Strictly has always been about much more than the dancing. There is the glory of the underdog, whether that’s a lumbering John Sergeant dragging Kristina Rihanoff across the floor or Ed “Gangnam Style” Balls and his disturbing gyrations. Viewers can smell an ambitious contestant a mile away and send them packing before Blackpool, even if they can dance (see: James Cracknell, Kirsty Gallacher). Its glory years saw showmances, big personalities (hello Nancy Dell’Olio) and great journeys (Debbie McGee and Louise Redknapp rediscovering their inner foxes). Even the Strictly curse, where spending hours crotch-to-crotch with a stranger in a bodystocking and some sequins causes chaos in the contestants’ relationships, became a reason to watch. But this year’s breed have as much chance of being caught doing a Seann Walsh as Anneka Rice had of winning.

The current crop are the most Googled lineup. As in: you’d have to Google them to check who they are. While Strictly has always avoided reality TV stars, a few YouTubers have recently snuck under the radar, including glassy-eyed vlogbot Saffron Barker. Strictly shouldn’t be about trying to entertain young people on a Saturday night – they’ve got TikTok for that. No, this is a show for the older crowd. Your gran, still making the most of a free TV licence while she can, the parents trapped at home with a cocktail of prosecco and celibacy, and the families who gather round the telly for the Christmas special. Do they want to see teenagers in a Lindyhopathon? No, they demand Ann Widdecombe dressed as an ugly sister. That’s the true spirit of Strictly.

At least Debbie McGee is coming back for the Christmas special, but even she can’t work the same magic that the vintage days held. The moment Jeremy Vine descended from a star-shaped Christmas tree topper in a mustard suit and held a very brave Karen Clifton aloft while the Puppini Sisters tooted out All I Want for Christmas, he set one hell of a precedent.

If Strictly wants to reignite its magic, it’ll have to pull in the A-listers. The ghost of Strictly past saw Susanna Reid, Sophie Ellis-Bextor and Abbey Clancy setting the high standards, but all 2019 could offer was two soap stars and a bloke from CBBC in the final. It’s enough to make you switch over to Dancing on Ice instead. Actually, let’s not go overboard ...