Senate Democrats Vow To Impotently Shake Fists While Kavanaugh Is Confirmed

WASHINGTON, D.C.—As the Senate holds hearings to confirm Judge Brett Kavanaugh as the next Supreme Court justice, Democrats have come up with a new tactic — the only tactic left to them since Harry Reid “nuked” the filibuster: impotently shaking their fists in disapproval.

“We won’t take this lying down,” Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer vowed. “Nor will we take it while standing. We plan to take it while sitting and shaking our fists. Let the last thing Kavanaugh sees before his lifetime appointment be a number of fists bobbing about, expressing a threat no one here is capable of following through on.”

“I’m also going to make angry faces,” vowed Senator Cory Booker as he demonstrated a number of expressive faces which, while unable to counteract the fact the Republicans already had the votes they needed, did all show great disapproval.

Not to be outdone, Senator Kamala Harris vowed to wear a Handmaid costume while shaking her fist. “I think that will really show how much I disapprove,” the senator explained. “Though I haven’t seen that show, so I can’t really be sure. But maybe Kavanaugh has seen it, and it will mean something to him. Something bad.”

The Democrats have vowed to keep up their showy but ultimately pointless spectacle for as long as they don’t have anything better to do, which could be for quite some time.

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