During Mike Tyson’s reign of invincibility, his opponents would be asked if they’ve a plan to defeat him.

Tyson was unmoved.

“Everyone has a plan,” he said, “until they get punched in the face.”

In 2017, I wish for you the puncher’s-chance plan that must be effective or so many highly public people and institutions wouldn’t be working off a copy — the “issued statement” plan that explains one’s position by substituting sincerity with artificial additives and boiler-plated public relations nonsense.

You know, statements that address the truth in terms of “greater transparency,” attempt to quick-cleanse complicity with, “Our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families,” and agree to pay a $75 million fine despite “no admission of wrongdoing.”

Duke and its Nike-funded/aided, TV-protected/worshipped coach, Mike Krzyzewski, work off the plan. After star Grayson Allen’s third episode of tripping an opponent, Krzyzewski seemed incapable of simply saying Allen must stop, thus he’s sending him to his room to think about it.

Instead, an “issued statement”:

“As a program, we needed to take further steps regarding his actions that do not meet the standards of Duke Basketball. To that end, we have determined that Grayson will be suspended from competition for an indefinite amount of time.” — which became one game, a 14-point loss at Virginia Tech.

I’ve read parking tickets with more sincerity and conviction.

But credit Duke and Coach K with this: Given this was Allen’s third such transgression, the statement didn’t cite the ubiquitous “zero percent tolerance policy” — not in the face of a 67 percent tolerance policy.

Reader Ed English: “He did the same thing twice, last season, without penalty, which I’m assuming meant those trips met with ‘the standards of Duke basketball.’ Or has Coach K this season demanded higher quality tripping?”

Then there was the issued statement ostensibly written by Oklahoma star running back Joe Mixon announcing that he’ll be leaving early, for the NFL.

Mixon was widely reported to have been suspended for the 2014 season after punching a young woman in the face, an assault that resulted in four broken facial bones and required surgery. But Mixon actually was red-shirted, thus OU could “punish” him while ensuring his maximum eligibility. This season, he played as a sophomore.

Also, this season, Mixon was suspended for one game. After receiving a parking ticket, he reportedly ripped the ticket into pieces, threw it at the parking attendant, then inched toward the attendant in his vehicle in a threatening manner.

Still, last week, having been good enough to stick around to help OU beat Auburn in the Sugar Bowl, Mixon released this statement:

“I promise not to waste the second chance that was given to me. I owe that to my coaches who believed in me, my teammates who stood by me, and the University that gave me an education that I will always be thankful for.”

Call me a heartless skeptic, but if those were Mixon’s actual words and legit feelings, how would such a well-comported student-athlete have wound up needing multiple second chances?

Yet, there’s no relief in sight; the “issued statement” plan continues to be delivered as if we’re dimwits, as if we’d be able to get away with them, too.

Francesa’s factual follies

Mike Francesa took an unfair beating this week for confusing George Karl with Jerry Sloan. Such things happen. Even for a know-it-all who’s always wrong but pretends to always be right, it’s excusable.

What wasn’t, was when he told Karl, “I grew up watching you play” for North Carolina. Unless Francesa, in his mid-teens, headed out of town to watch UNC, this was another of his delusions of knowledge, presence and grandeur.

During Karl’s UNC days, 1970-73, college basketball on TV, here, was rare. A few local games appeared on Chs. 9 and 11, and some syndicated NIT and NCAA Tournament games were all we saw. There was no cable.

But Sitting Bull can’t help himself.

This past college football season, after Pitt won at Clemson, he declared Clemson kaput. Tuesday, after Clemson won the national title, Francesa claimed he touted Clemson from the start.

He dismissed a caller as a know-nothing for suggesting the Giants would start rookie running back Paul Perkins against Green Bay. Perkins started.

He also claimed credit for Odell Beckham’s improved conduct toward on-field officials, Beckham having taken Francesa’s on-air advice to cool it, thus bringing to mind Francesa’s fabricated claim to have been contacted by the Pentagon for his advice on improving Army football.

Still, even if by now everyone knows far better, he shows up the same way every day: So much smarter than you.

Coll’ it like you see it

The Bag We’re In: NBC’s Cris Collinsworth seems to have forgotten or forsaken why he made it to the top: He was a good analyst, a credible analyst.

Having arrived, he has become another say-anything, spoken-from-the-mountaintop blowhard.

During Saturday’s Lions-Seahawks game, he concluded, “People don’t have enough appreciation for [retired Seattle RB] Marshawn Lynch.”

Huh? What people? Who didn’t appreciate Lynch? That Pete Carroll didn’t choose to hand him the ball at the 18-inch line with 25 seconds left in the 2015 Super Bowl remains a stunner!

And if there’s any lack of appreciation for Lynch, perhaps it’s due to what Collinsworth ignored: Lynch was accused by players and coaches of abandoning his team, last season, and/or clear memories of him acting like a creep, intentionally grabbing his crotch after scoring, including in a playoff game.

Then there’s the standard dismissal of reality in favor of stats. Sunday, the Steelers took a quick 14-0 lead when three short passes were caught then run for 130 yards.

Still, CBS’s Jim Nantz encouraged us to ignore what we saw, with, “[Ben] Roethlisberger’s already thrown for 162 yards.”

The media continue to report Beckham’s weekly attention-demanding conduct as a breaking story when it’s a continuing one. He’s another who grows less professional with every day he has been one.

And why can’t TV folks speak plain English about such players?

Sunday, as Beckham dropped significant, accurate passes, FOX’s Troy Aikman noted Beckham’s game-week preparation party in Miami — without mentioning Justin Bieber and vulgar, N-wording rapper Trey Songz — in the form of a mild scold. Fine; better than pandering.

But Aikman concluded by calling Beckham “ill-advised.” Ill-advised? Who advised it?

For all ESPN’s impossibly stupid graphics, we can’t, in fairness, fail to note that it ended 2016 with a candid, sign-of-the-times winner.

Early in Dec. 31’s Citrus Bowl, ESPN noted that two Louisville players were out with “gunshot wounds.” Progress!