In November of 1974, a Browns fan and season ticket holder sent a letter to the team regarding a concern of his.

The Cleveland Browns (specifically, their general counsel) sent back an absolutely epic response.

Here are their two letters (click on images to enlarge):

If that's not clear, here's the transcribed text:





Gentlemen: I am one of your season ticket holders who attends or tries to attend every game. It appears one of the pastimes of several fans has become the sailing of paper airplanes generally made out of the game program. As you know, there is the risk of serious eye injury and perhaps an ear injury as a result of such airplanes. I am sure that this has been called to your attention and that several of your ushers and policemen witnessed the same. Please be advised that since you are in a position to control or terminate such action on the part of fans, I will hold you responsible for any injury sustained by any person in my party attending one of your sporting events. It is hoped that this disrespectful and possibly dangerous activity will be terminated. Very truly yours, Roetzel & Andress By Dale O. Cox

And here's the Browns response: