And Malcolm Turnbull smiled and he waved to the bustle of reporters: "See how I'm tough on the foreigners, me."

Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong

Under the shade of a coolibah tree

And he sang as he watched and waited 'til his billy boiled

Iconic songs of his nationality

"I'm an Australian, I'm an Australian"

"I'm as Australian as Neighbours on TV"

And he sang as he watched and waited 'til his billy boiled

Iconic songs of his nationality

Along came a man from the new Australian Border Force

Handcuffed the swagman and grabbed him with glee

And he sang as he stowed that swagman in the paddy-van

"You'll come along to detention with me"

"You're not Australian, you're not Australian"

"Palmerston North is your birthplace I see"

And he sang as he stowed that swagman in the paddy-van

"You'll come to old Christmas Island with me"

Up jumped the swagman, who got upon his high horse

"I am an icon, you can't do this to me!"

"And I may have convictions, but once upon a time you know"

"That's what you needed to get here, you see"

"I'm an Australian, I'm an Australian"

"I'm as Australian as Vegemite for tea"

And he sang as he placed a phonecall to his legal team

"You'll come a cropper from messing with me"

Up rode the Malcolm, mounted on his focus groups

Up popped his pollsters, one, two, three

"Who's this lazy swagman, probably on a benefit"

"He doesn't sound so Australian to me"

"You're not Australian, you're not Australian"

"Not an Australian that I'd like to see"

And he smiled and he waved to the bustle of reporters there

"See how I'm tough on the foreigners, me"

Desperate the swagman issued forth a press release

Pleading for help from one John Key

And he swore that he wouldn't know a kiwi from a kumara

"I want to stay young and free, girt with sea"

"I'm an Australian, I'm an Australian"

"I'm as Australian as Wiggles on VB"

"I wouldn't know a kiwi from a kumara"

"I want to stay young and free, girt with sea"

Up stepped the John Key, meeting with the Malcolm and

Promised that he'd put the case sternly

And he brought all his charm to the meeting and the photo-op

But in the end it was "yeah, nah, sorry"

"You're not Australian, you're not Australian"

"Not when you've been born in Palmy, y'see"

Though he gripped and he grinned in the meeting and the photo-op

But in the end it was "yeah, nah, sorry"

That was tale of the not-so-jolly-swagman

Now who resides in a Whanganui shack

And we'd like to point out to the friendly folk across the ditch

If rules are rules then we'd like pavlova back.

It's not Australian, it's not Australian

It started here so you'll have to let it go

And we'd like Crowded House, and Phar Lap and all the others too

But if you want you can keep Russell Crowe.