The president convened his first full cabinet meeting at an oval mahogany desk. Then each member made obsequious opening remarks

'Thank you for the blessing': cabinet takes turns lavishing Trump with praise

Before a contingent of cameras on Monday, Donald Trump convened his first full cabinet meeting. Seated around an oval mahogany desk in the White House’s Cabinet Room was his newly-assembled brain trust: the collection of secretaries, directors and senior staff he appointed and hired to execute his America First vision, a task often complicated by the mercurial @realDonaldTrump.

Trump began the meeting with an appraisal of his presidency.

“Never has there been a president, with few exceptions, the case of FDR – he had a major Depression to handle – who’s passed more legislation who’s done more things than what we’ve done,” Trump said, his eyes trained on cameras.

Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) Finally held our first full @Cabinet meeting today. With this great team, we can restore American prosperity and bring real change to D.C. pic.twitter.com/2M9PiKjCSH

No matter that the Republican-controlled Congress has not passed a single major piece of legislation since Trump took office. Or that his budget was laughed off by lawmakers as “magical thinking”. Or that his travel ban remains tied up in the courts. Or that the former FBI director James Comey, whom he dispatched in a shocking turn of events, testified under oath that Trump had asked him to shut down an investigation into his former national security adviser’s ties to Russia.

A recent Gallup poll survey showed Trump’s job approval ranking slumped to a record low, with just 36% of voters approving.

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“We’ve achieved tremendous success,” Trump continued, painting a rosy picture of the administration’s achievements. “We’ve been about as active as you can possibly be at just about a record-setting pace.”

Behind him, White House chief strategist Steve Bannon sat, staring ahead intensely as if running through the unchecked items scribbled on a dry-erase board in his office. Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law and senior adviser, leaned against the window next to Bannon.

Trump then suggested the group go around the table and introduce themselves before reporters were ushered out of the room.

“I’m going to start with our vice-president. Where is our vice-president?” Trump asked, swiveling his head to look for Mike Pence before spotting him seated in the vice-president’s assigned seat, directly across from the president.

“There he is,” Trump said jovially to titters from the others.

“We’ll start with Mike and then we’ll just go around, your name, your position,” Trump instructed, like a teacher on the first day of school.

“This is just the greatest privilege of my life,” Pence said, offering honeyed words about the president before turning over the spotlight to the attorney general, who on Tuesday will be hauled before the Senate Intelligence Committee to testify about his contacts with Russian officials.

We thank you for the opportunity and the blessing that you’ve given us to serve your agenda Chief of staff Reince Priebus

“It is so great to be here,” Jeff Sessions told Trump in perhaps an understated sign of relief after he reportedly offered the president his resignation in recent weeks.

The flattery continued as each member of his cabinet took turns praising the president.

“My hat’s off to you,” said energy secretary Rick Perry, praising Trump for withdrawing from the Paris climate accord, to which every country is a signatory except for Syria, which is in the middle of a years-long civil war, and Nicaragua, which did not believe the pact went far enough in combatting global warming.

“It’s a new day at the United Nations,” Nikki Haley, the US ambassador to the UN, declared. “I think the international community knows we’re back.”

“I want to thank you for getting this country moving again,” said transportation secretary Elaine Chao. She thanked the president for visiting the Department of Transportation during “infrastructure week”, the White House’s attempt to refocus attention on its domestic agenda while more than 19m people tuned in to hear Comey call the president a liar.

“Hundreds and hundreds of people were just so thrilled, hanging out, watching the whole ceremony,” she said of his visit.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Donald Trump at his first cabinet meeting in the White House. Photograph: Pool/Getty Images

“I apologize for being late to work,” quipped Robert Lighthizer, the US trade representative, the last member of Trump’s cabinet to be confirmed. “For months I got bogged down in that swamp that you’ve been trying to clean.”

CIA director, Mike Pompeo, drew laughs from the table, including the president, who gave an approving nod of his head, with a barb aimed at the press.

But perhaps the most grateful person in the room was Trump’s chief of staff, Reince Priebus, whose job security has long been a topic of speculation.

“We thank you for the opportunity and the blessing that you’ve given us to serve your agenda,” Priebus told the president.

When the circle of adulation concluded, Trump shooed the press out of the room as they shouted questions in vain.

“Thank you,” he repeated. The show was over.

Trump had turned a typically staid event into an unusual spectacle, especially for those used to the more traditional scene, where the press are wheeled in for photographs and brief remarks before being shown the door. The meeting immediately began drawing derision on Twitter.

Chris Lu (@ChrisLu44) I ran 16 Cabinet meetings during Obama's 1st term. Our Cabinet was never told to sing Obama's praises. He wanted candid advice not adulation

Democratic minority leader Chuck Schumermocked the president’s cabinet meeting in a spoof video that featured him around with young staffers who praised his performance on the Sunday talk shows – and his hair. The New York Democrat posted on Twitter with the exclamation: “GREAT meeting today with the best staff in the history of the world!!!”

Not one to be outdone, especially by Schumer, who he has accused of crying “fake tears”, Trump tweeted later that evening a video of the meeting and praised his “great team”.