This is the final motherfucking website.

And it’s really more fucking perfect than the last guy’s.

Seriously, some minimal fucking things are needed to make this shit perfect.

Ten fucking declarations, an @media block, and one attribute.

That’s how much CSS and HTML it took to turn that grotesque pile of shit into this finally perfect masterpiece. It’s so fucking simple and it still has all the glory of the original perfect-ass website:

Shit’s finally lightweight and loads fast;

Finally fits on all your shitty screens;

Finally looks the same in all your shitty browsers;

Won’t bleach your fucking eyeballs at night if your browser thinks you like dark things;

The motherfucker’s still accessible to every asshole that visits your site;

Shit’s still legible and gets your fucking point across.

And guess what, motherfucker:

You never knew it, but it’s easy to improve reliability on your site. Here’s how.

A little more accessibility

I know you love marginalization, but you should take care of people. The HTML tag doesn’t include the lang attribute in your shitty webpage.

You ever listen to a wrong language screen reader lecture? What a shitty experience.

Typography matters

Don’t be dumb with typography. Don’t let improper marks and quotes make their way onto websites because of dumb defaults in applications and CMSs.

And did you let the browser choose the font? Don’t make me read such text with Times New Roman.

License, motherfucker

Do you revendicate intellectual property? No. So you must choose a fucking public license.

And as you’ll never be perfect, let others improve your shit or do what the f*ck they want to.

Yes, this is the last fucking satire, you fuck

I’m impressed about what the creator of this site’s inspiration did. What I’m saying is that it’s so, so simple to make sites easier to read. Websites are broken by default—they are functional, high-performing, and accessible, but they’re also fucking ugly. You and all the other web designers out there need to make them not total shit.

“Don’t ignore stupid things or you will stay at the motherfucker level.” — Brad Hollande

Epilogue

Inspired by the geniuses behind motherfuckingwebsite.com and bettermotherfuckingwebsite.com.

This page—that isn’t a total fucking content—was licensed under CC0.