Often times, today’s parents are faced with the following situation: Is it best to have one parent stay at home or should both parent’s return to work. Sometimes the answer may be obvious. Sometimes it may require some analysis.

When parents are faced with finding an answer that is not obvious, the following are some items that should be included when arriving at a decision.

Should one or both parents work?

– Is it possible financially? Might as well talk about the elephant in the room first. This is the driving force behind many of the answers. If both parents are already working, how practical is it to give up a salary? The economy makes the prospect of finding a job less than desirable right now. The salary alone can’t be what’s considered though. You have to look at the added costs of daycare, wardrobe, taxes, travel, lunch, etc. All of these combined will take a hefty portion of your check. Once you calculate what your *true* pay would be, you can decide if it is possible to give up that much from the household income.

The only caveat here, beyond the obvious, is that you also need to factor in the fringe benefits you receive. Does the company contribute to a retirement plan for you? Are you vested? Is the insurance provided really too good to lose? These variables should play a small role in your overall decision.

– Are you in love with your job and career? Does the thought of staying at home for a few years make you feel disappointed? Or are you excited at the prospect of being a full-time parent? If both parents love what they do, then it may be best for both to return to work. Whichever chose to stay home, could end up feeling resentment towards the other if they feel they left their “dream job”. However, if one does choose to be a full-time parent, it does not mean they are sabotaging their chances of returning to the workforce. Once things settle down after the baby comes home, the parent can remain active within organizations they belonged. They can work on certifications. They can learn new skills. There are numerous possibilities that this person can do that will enhance their future prospects.

– Do you personally want to raise your children? Outside the pure financial feasibility of it, this is probably the biggest question you need to ask yourself. Do you want the day-to-day responsibility of raising and caring for your child? Now, without sounding callous, are you comfortable with having someone else be responsible for the day-to-day activities? Within reason of course!

One possibility, instead of having an either/or scenario, would be if there was a family member that was close enough and willing that could watch the child some during the day. This would allow the stay-at-home parent some flexibility to work part-time, volunteer, etc.

There is no right answer!

The question presented is a highly personal one and can only be answered by the parents. My purpose has been to try to present some issues that need to be considered during your discussions and not sway you in one direction or the other.

I do have one other purpose behind this post too. And that is there should be discussions had and planning done well in advance of having children. Too often, I see parents that don’t have any real options around this issue. Having had the discussions and plan in place may have been able to help in that situation.

Please post your thoughts and comments around this issue. I love to hear how others have handled this situation.