Like the previous poster, I too wished to become immortal and thought this $2,000 Parmigiano cheese was the secret to eternal life. UPS delivered it in an arc carried by several obese eunuchs. I had my priest bless the chest and open it. He said he needed to fast for several days to perform the ritual which I found to be inconvenient, but that's life. I also disliked the $200 shipping fee they tacked on, but the eunuchs with the war paint were worth it. After the priest opened it for me he gave me a stern lecture that I was dealing with powers far beyond my control. I nodded and smiled as I escorted him out of the premises. I tried a bite of this cheese and I felt a surge of electricity run through me. So far I am still alive, which must mean this cheese is working. Several times I tried to fly to Mount Olympus from my roof to live with Zeus and Hermes. I think that I need to eat some more of this cheese for that to happen. If I have to buy another one, I will be very upset.



Update: I tried more of this cheese and still failed to make it to Mount Olympus. I will try to feed some to the dog, maybe she will turn into Pegasus.