GRAND RAPIDS, MI - I have learned that I won’t be able to taste everything I want at the

Winter Beer Festival

, and accepted it. But I also deemed it unwise to just go –

as noted before, for the first time

– without at least a wish list so I can target a few brews to try.

Call it A Quaffer’s Quest. Admittedly, my criteria is a bit undefined. Some of these, I’ve put a little research into. Others, I’m going by gut instinct, or because it has a name I like, or because I might want to taste what distinguishes a beer as “Mayan" or "smoked" or, y'know, "evil."

It's also, I discovered, difficult to pick 10 from a humongous list of 625 beers. Note, I tend to gravitate towards the high-gravity stuff. I like my beer like my coffee and music – dark and heavy. Give me malty, creamy or sweet, not bitter, overly hopped or dry. But you could age anything in a bourbon barrel, and I'll try it. I sometimes skipped the Grand Rapids-based breweries in lieu of patronizing a brewery I've never been to before. If I only get to try two of these – listed in no particular order - I'll be happy:

Love Shadow Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Stout, Brewery Vivant – You had me at "barrel aged," "imperial stout" and "Brewery Vivant." My favorite variation on my favorite style from my favorite brewery.

Belgianator, Dark Horse Brewing Co. – If it's not dark as motor oil, then at least make it with Belgian yeast, I always say. This is made with American hops, so it's theoretically the best of both worlds. Dark Horse is a beast of a brewery, too.

Damn Dirty Ape Banana Porter, Greenbush Brewing Co. – I can't resist a "Planet of the Apes" reference. I also can't resist an experimental ingredient like banana. (This better be as dark as a gorilla's fur.)

Rum Dragon's Milk Barrel Aged Stout, New Holland Brewing Co. – Regular Dragon's Milk (along with Young's Double Chocolate Stout) was my gateway to the darkness. This variation is enticing.

Saison d'Hiver Imperial Black Saison, Ore Dock Brewing Co. – I've developed an appreciation for a citrusy saison, usually a summer-style beer, but here darkened for the cold months – "hiver" is French for "winter." Make it "imperial" and "black," and I'm there.

St. Gin's Imperial Whiskey Stout, Fenton Winery and Brewery – I assume this is barrel-aged, what with the "Whiskey" and all. If this warms a belly up on a cold February day, it's worth a few sips.

Bourbon Barrel Double Black Lager, Perrin Brewing Co. – Here's a(nother) reason to break my non-G.R.-breweries rule. To paraphrase Woody Allen in "Annie Hall," I loooave, I lurve, I luff, with two Fs, Perrin's Black Lager. It's dark but very drinkable, crisp but substantial. Here it's doubled, it's barreled, it's got to be good, right?

Pecan Bourbon Pie Whole Amber Ale, Right Brain Brewery – When I visited Right Brain in Traverse City a few years ago, I fell in love with the beer. (Thankfully, they're distributing across the state nowadays.) This has a really long, kinda funny name with "Bourbon" in it, so I picked it randomly, but to be honest, I'll get in line and give anything from this brewery a shot.

Evil Urges Belgian Dark Strong Ale, Short's Brewing Co. – Short's boasts so many odd-ingredient experimental brews, it's not a surprise to hear that this is one of the longest lines at WBF. Evil, Belgian, dark, strong… I'm in. (Or the Stray Cat Fighting for the Devil Experimental Old Ale.) I can vouch for the Carob Stout Imperial, which I've enjoyed before. I might not get near this table, but one can hope their G.R. taproom at The Pyrmaid Scheme gets the leftovers. If there are any. Not holding my breath for that.

Killer Bee Honey Trippel, Dragonmead Microbrewery – Sweet. Literally. I've appreciated Dragonmead's brews in the past, and this could balance all the hefty dark-colored stuff I love with some hefty light-colored stuff.

Honorable mention: Ancho Rauchbier, Brewery Vivant - I mention this because it's a wonderful, muddy-brown, slightly spicy smoky brew, seasonal, now gone at the taproom (it better come back, or else I'll stage a revolt), but back for now at the fest. One of my top-10 beers ever. Ever. No, really, ever!

Email: jserba@mlive.com or follow John Serba on Twitter