Bring on your questions about work and life to workfriend@nytimes.com. Include your name and location, even if you want them withheld. Letters may be edited, and responses may make you sad.

My Boss Has an Anatomy

I work for a local government agency in a professional office setting. My boss is a young, attractive woman. She has been incredibly gracious and generous to me and I am truly grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given. It’s because I’m so grateful that I’m even considering taking any action in this situation. The other day, she was wearing a fairly low-cut shirt that exposed quite a bit of cleavage. Additionally, the shirt was see-through from certain angles, exposing even more of her chest and bra. This is not the first time she has shown what I consider to be an inappropriate amount of cleavage for a professional setting, but it’s the first time I noticed her wearing a shirt that she surely didn’t realize was partially see-through.

I like to think of myself as someone who’s very honest with those he cares about, and I certainly care about her, but am very reluctant to do so for numerous reasons that should be obvious. Additionally, who am I to say what is and isn’t appropriate for a woman to wear at work? But I can say that she seems to be wearing more revealing tops than the other women in the office. Help!

— New York

Women reading this will be that gnarly combination of validated and irritated to hear that it’s true that men in the office are actually absolutely always thinking about what you wear. Too tight, too low, too frumpy, too unseasonal, too spicy, too chesty? Not only have we passed a judgment, men tend to share it with others or enact it in worse ways (hello, review and bonus season).