Four wheels at the front

The Tyrrell P34 was the first of what would become a minor craze for six-wheeled F1 cars. The P (for Project) 34 had four wheels at the front that were about the size of casters and were supposed to cut back on drag. The P34 achieved solid results during the 1976 season and picked up first and second at that year's Swedish GP. In 1978, however, the Tyrrell was hampered by Goodyear's failure to design decent tiny tyres and the project was scrapped. The FIA subsequently banned four-wheel steering systems and later, possibly fearing some automotive equivalent of the millipede, stipulated that cars must have four wheels.

Four wheels at the back

The March 2-4-0 is possibly the only formula one car ever named for the benefit of train-spotters. Designed by Robin Herd, the vehicle was built in 1976 and tested early in 1977. The 2-4-0 had four 10in wheels at the rear that increased traction and gave it better aerodynamics than the Tyrrell P34. Financial problems led March to scrap the idea but Scalextric liked it so much that it issued a slot-racing model, allowing fans to see the car race in 1/32nd scale at least. In 1982 Williams tested their own 2-4-0 car, the FW08B. Unfortunately for them the FIA had by then banned four-wheel drive systems and it was never allowed to race.

Big old fan

The Brabham BT46 had what its designers claimed was a revolutionary air-cooling system in the form of a massive, whirling fan mounted at the rear of the engine. The fact that the fan also created a massive downforce that practically stuck the car to the track was a bonus. Nikki Lauda won the 1978 Swedish GP in a BT46 but the FIA banned it before it could race again.

Giant rear-view mirror

Ever the innovators, March brought out the Eifelland Type 21 in 1972. That year the team were co-funded by a German caravan- maker and the giant rear-view mirror that stuck up on a three-foot stalk above the driver's head certainly looked like the kind of thing you might see on a vehicle creating a 20-mile tailback on a Devon road on bank holiday Monday. The mirror was unceremoniously buried, possibly in an unmarked grave, after a single race.

Hammerhead front spoiler

Completing the hat-trick of mad March hare-brained schemes, though it preceded the others, is the 1971 ovoid, oversize front spoiler, above, that appeared on the 711. The aerodynamic device was designed by Frank Costin and was officially named the Spitfire, though many adopted "the tea tray". Ronnie Peterson, despite driving with this ungainly thing stuck in front of his car managed to finish second in the drivers' championship but it had gone by the following season, possibly commandeered by March's laundry section as an ironing board.

Twin radiators

Proof that even the marque of the prancing horse has been stuck on some unsightly monsters in its time, this 1973 quirk from an increasingly desperate Ferrari design team featured twin radiators. The arched shape gave the front of the car the look of a skull on a heavy metal album sleeve. Officially the car was named the 312b3 but it has gone down in history as the Spazzaneve, Italian for snowplough. If there had been a North Pole GP, it would have coasted it. As there wasn't, the design was junked.

Huge air-intake

In 1976 the French car maker Ligier produced the JS5, the most noticeable feature of which was a massive air-intake that towered over the driver like a gigantic vacuum cleaner and threatened to suck his helmet off. Fortunately for aesthetes the JS5's vast protuberance was banned after three races. Ligier continued in F1 until 1998 but nowadays concentrate on micro-cars powered by moped engines.

Grass box

That's what it looked like anyway. Once again those blue-sky thinkers at March were responsible, fitting a gigantic box-like rear wing to Vittorio Brambilla's car at the British GP in 1975. Strangely it never caught on, possibly because hover-mowers were all the rage in those days.

Twin brake pedals

The idea of having more than one brake pedal was first trialled in the JPS Lotus 9 back in 1974. It did not get any race usage, though, until 1997. That year McLaren sneakily installed a second, left-foot brake pedal that applied the brake to one tyre only giving a distinct advantage when cornering. The second pedal was spotted by eagle-eyed reporters and instantly dubbed the "fiddle brake". Technically it was not illegal but after much whining from other teams the FIA banned it at the Brazilian GP in 1998.

Barge boards

The Arrow came fitted with barge boards, two lumps of carbon fibre that stuck out behind the front axle. Sadly these were designed to add stability like the movable keels on Dutch sailing barges and were not used to barge rival vehicles off the track in the manner of Steve McQueen in 1968's Bullitt. Despite their complete dullness barge-boards made a re-appearance in the 1990s.

Ten things to make Formula One better

1 Large piles of cardboard boxes to be left at random points on the circuit like in Starsky and Hutch

2 Two men carrying a large sheet of glass or a piano to cross the track at regular intervals during the race

3 Races to start with the drivers leaping into their cars from an outside fire escape

4 All circuits to feature a level crossing and a thundering Amtrak-style goods train

5 Vampires. Hugely fashionable these days, F1 would clearly benefit from the odd pale-faced bloodsucker (What d'you mean, 'Like Bernie Ecclestone'?)

6 All circuits to feature at least one busy intersection which the drivers must cross while the light is on red

7 All circuits to feature at least one unfinished fly-over and/or bridge

8 Direction of race to be altered at least twice at random intervals leading to handbrake turns, dead stops, collisions with pursuing police vehicles

9 Zombies – well known to improve any game

10 F1 cars to be followed by a gradually increasing number of police vehicles and a helicopter from which a Texan state trooper in mirrored shades shouts through a megaphone