Today, Nike revealed the U.S. men's national soccer team's home jersey for the upcoming World Cup. In the words of the Associated Press — a venerated global journalistic institution — it "resembles a golf shirt." Which is fair — especially if worn at a glow-in-the-dark mini-golf course, since shining a black light on the jersey's numbers will reveal the message "One Nation. One Team." (seen on the right).

But what the jerseys resemble far more closely are the English jerseys from the last World Cup, designed by then-Nike's Umbro. And what happened at the last World Cup? The greatest moment of American-on-English schadenfreude since the Treaty of Paris:

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And so we support these jerseys, even if it will be us wearing them this time. They are something of a good luck charm, it seems. Which will be useful this summer, particularly on June the 26th, when we shoot for the greatest moment of American-on-German schadenfreude since we beat them last summer.

Nate Hopper Associate editor Nate Hopper is an associate editor for Esquire magazine.

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