The Google Book

By V.C. Vickers, 1913

Presented by Google Blogoscoped FAR! FAR away, the Google lives, in a land which only children can go to. It is a wonderful land of funny flowers, and birds, and hills of pure white heather. The Google has a beautiful garden which is guarded night and day. All through the day he sleeps in a pool of water in the center of the garden; but when the night comes, he slowly crawls out of the pool and silently prowls around for food. All the birds try to avoid the Google, because they don't like him and he frightens them; but some of them he can never catch, especially those with the red beaks. You can never see these birds anywhere except in Google land which is far far away, and only children can go there; and even they must be nearly – but not quite – asleep. Now in this book you will find pictures of Google birds; some, though ugly, are very nice; others, though pretty, are very nasty. So, perhaps, really the pretty ones are ugly and the ugly ones pretty! Who can tell?

The Google's Garden Now on the facing page you see The Google's garden (looking East); The animal, that sits on guard, Is quite a harmless little beast. Please note the 'Pleecemen Birds' as well On either side stand sentinel.

The Lesser Nockit How can one describe this remarkable bird Which no one has seen and which everyone's heard; It hammers and knocks on the trees and the rocks, And batters and raps at the windy, And rattles old bones and shuffles the stones And kicks up a terribly shindy And hullaballoo! It never stops still and it makes people ill With its nerve-racking ear-splitting cry, Which it utters they say both by night and by day, And really I cannot think why! No more can you!

The Tango The Tango trips upon her toes, (That's why she's called the Tango) And if you tease her, off she goes As quickly as she can go!

The Brown Willy Just look at Brown Willy Now isn't he silly? He's just caught an eel in the water! He'll throw it up high Right into the sky To be caught in the air by his daughter! (Those two little things are flies, not aeroplanes)

The Sun Bird That great head, at any rate for me, has Positively no attraction, And its general appearance gives one Very little satisfaction. Yet what perspicacity we find there Hidden in his ugly brain-pan. Keen wits a lunatic may have too, Just the same as any sane man. (I can't understand a word of this, can you Mother?)

The Lemonsqueezer Have you seen the Lemonsqueezer Feeding Herbert and Louisa?

The Blue-Billed Ork This excessively conceited bird spends all his time looking for starfish, jellyfish, and crabs, and when he sees one near him he just loosens his neck and lets his beak drop. You can't see any starfish or crabs in the picture because he isn't hungry just now. O! little crab, O! little crab, Be careful where you walk, Or you may find yourself inside The Tummy of the Ork!

The Flabbytoes But mark!! What is that sound I hear? Someone in agony I fear! – Oh no!! It is old Flabbytoes, You can't mistake his funny nose.

The Shivver-Doodle To break the ice in wintry climes and dive into the Sea To get one's food at feeding times, does not appeal to me. If I liked fish, I would not wish to eat it raw and chew it, But then you see I am not he, cos' he has got to do it.

Great Skull-Headed Stone Trot With ponderous tread he walks for miles And miles amongst the stones, Searching along the sandy shore For fossils shells and bones. And when the wind is moaning And the night is very dark, If you listen at the window You can sometimes hear him, – Hark!

The Poggle The Poggle, as you have probably heard, Is also known as the Pineapple Bird. By nature he is soft and gently kind To smaller birds who love his fruity mind. So tame that he will feed out of your hands. (He lives exclusively on wasps with yellow bands.)

The Great McDoo or Dewar Bird The Great McDoo, aged ninety-nine, Is rare but very cold, And even in the winter time Is thirsty so I'm told.

The Junket The little Junket spots his food From almost any altitude, Volplanés from an awful height And plunges almost out of sight!

The Little Horn Back This funny thing lives in a part of Google Land where there are dreadful Landslips and Avalanches. When he hears the roar of an approaching Avalanche, he snuggles in under his hard horny back and just waits for trouble. But the falling rocks and stones slide over his back and only made him tickle. Sometimes he gets completely covered up and remains buried for several weeks, but he always crawls out all right, for no Little Horn Back has ever been hurt by a mere Avalanche.

The Swank The Swank is quick and full of vice, He tortures beetles also mice. He bites their legs off and he beats them Into a pulp, and then he eats them.

The Wilyou or Pagoda Bird Now if you said When you're in bed, 'Ah Wilyou, 'Will you sing?' He would reply 'Ononoti,' And quickly take to wing.

The Soft-Nosed Wollop The Soft-nosed Wollop lives on ice, (In summer, Halibuts and Soles) And when it's slippery he turns Upon his back and rolls.

The Mirabelle Old sailors have a tale they tell, How once the song of a Mirabelle Enticed a ship upon the rocks Where perished all the crew. I think it most improbable That such a bird would cast a spell Upon a ship, don't you?

The Gogo or Camel Bird Now this is one of the largest birds to be found in all Google Land, and there really is not room enough for his body in the picture. He eats most every living thing, and especially little young birds that can hardly fly. He is horribly cruel, and no one (not even the Google itself) wants him to remain in Google Land. That's why they call him Gogo.

The Google's Garden (Looking West) Which view d'you think the prettiest?