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Full Disclosure: This is not a long-winded diatribe dedicated to beautifully and in great detail elucidating a personal fashion choice despite certain meteorological difficulties. Rather, this is a concise list of the reasons I give when people ask me ad nauseum why i opt for the coolest (though not temperature-wise) of colors.

It Looks Awesome Sweat Doesn’t Show Up As Badly As With Other Colors It Really IS Slimming It Matches Literally Every Item In Your Closet Ten Thousand Rock Stars Can’t Be Wrong It’s Great For Increasing Our Confidence Because This Movie Wouldn’t Have Been As Iconic or Influential With Mastroianni in Powder Blue Leisurewear Men in Teal, Back in Brown, and Green Widow Just Don’t Have The Same Effect We’re Grown-Ass Men, and We Can Wear Any Bloody Color We Please

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