Every loss for the San Francisco 49ers have been to a 'bird' named team (Ravens, Seahawks and Falcons), and every close win also came from a bird team (Cardinals and Seahawks). Perhaps this is because the 49ers are named after gold miners, who cruelly used birds to detect gas leaks while working in the mines.

Superstitious this may be, but these fallen bird spirits are getting their revenge on the gold miner spirits. Take up your own theory, but it appears that all other teams not named after birds are having trouble with beating the 49ers, as they are now hosting the NFC Championship!



Enter the problem: the Green Bay Packers are not a bird team.

Introduce the solution: rename the Green Bay Packers to the Wisconsin Great Horns for only one week.



Named after one of the most savage owls, the Great Horned Owl can grow up to 2 feet tall, have an 80 inch wingspan and their talons have a clutching force as strong as 500 psi, or about 200 psi short of Aaron Rodger's grip in the ball when he throws a hail Mary during the playoffs.

Don't you see? It is perfectly fitting. Did you know that Great Horned Owls lay their eggs in Wisconsin in late January? Niners' quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo will be laying an egg this coming Sunday when he sees another bird team opponent on the field. The parallels cannot be any more disputed.

Kindly sign this petition if you want the Green Bay Pack... Wisconsin Great Horns to win the NFC Championship and move onto the Super Bowl. It sounds silly, I know. Let us look up to the Kansas City Chiefs fan who walked out of the stadium after his team was getting blown out 24 to nothing because he felt that he was bad luck. Low and behold, his superstition held true and the Chiefs went on to score 51 points on 7 straight drives in a flawless and legendary comeback victory.

How can you call yourself a Packer back... Great Horn patron if you don't sign this petition? I know what you're saying, it is very likely that the Packers beat the 49ers without being renamed as the Wisconsin Great Horns. Matt Lefleur isn't in the discussion for Coach of the Year for no reason.

Stones should not be left unturned, however. Every possible solution to beat the 49ers must be taken. Let our sharp talons pierce fear into our enemies!



For one week only we can fly into the NFC Championship as the Wisconsin Great Horns with victory on our minds.