Desperate to eat mammalian meat, St. Louis Catholics classify beavers as fish for Lent

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For some people, eating ethically, even for only a day, is just “too hard.” Catholics in St. Louis are a perfect example right now, as restaurants are catering to practitioners of Lent looking to bypass that pesky little no meat thing by using aquatic mammals to pass off, somehow, as fish (which are still meat). Or at least that’s how it reads; the lapses in logic and church rule is astounding. Bootleggin’ BBQ in St. Louis, owned by Brenton Brown, heard rumor from a Catholic friend that aquatic mammals are an exception in some circles. That means they’re serving up dolphin, right? Nope, just some “humanely trapped” beaver, and only on Fridays.

According to NPR affiliate KPBS, “Brown says beaver sales almost doubled last Friday compared to the previous week, the first time it was on offer. On Friday, Brown wore a t-shirt decorated with a mildly suggestive illustration of a beaver. It read, ‘God said it was OK. #Lent2016.'” This guy is obviously pretty gross, especially if he’s trying to use religion to justify animal trapping, torture, and slaughter. I’m not sure in which universe animal trapping is considered humane, but it’s certainly not this one.

Church spokesman Gabe Jones says, in regards to the beaver rule,”I’ve checked with our chancellor for canonical affairs, and he is not aware of any current dispensations along these lines in the Archdiocese of St. Louis.” So chill on the meat consumption, folks! Better yet, stop altogether. You’re looking a little desperate, especially if you can’t give up meat even for a day.