'Everyone is poly,' no one is serious, and other reasons dating in San Francisco is awful

GALLERY: Why dating in SF is a nightmare, according to Redditors GALLERY: Why dating in SF is a nightmare, according to Redditors Photo: Martin Novak/Getty Images Photo: Martin Novak/Getty Images Image 1 of / 20 Caption Close 'Everyone is poly,' no one is serious, and other reasons dating in San Francisco is awful 1 / 20 Back to Gallery

San Francisco is a city full of young, ambitious people with great food, hundreds of bars and even more activities. What could go wrong when you're looking for love? There are many, many examples in the slideshow above.

I spent about six years actively dating around the Bay Area. In that time I dated, for varying amounts of time, three self-described indie rockers, an amateur hockey player, an elementary school teacher with a drinking problem, a yoga teacher who didn't drink alcohol (or consume processed sugars and carbohydrates of any kind), an English teacher living in his mom's in-home daycare, and a skateboarding enthusiast who worked as a manager at a tech company.

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These budding relationships ended for various reasons. At least three of the aforementioned men were still in love with their exes. One said he couldn't handle the pressure of texting me "witty responses," and thus could not go on seeing me. Most of the rest were "not looking for something serious."

I attributed these failures not to the region in which I was dating, but to the fraught Millennial dating landscape as a whole. Perhaps I was wrong in thinking this, according to a popular San Francisco Reddit thread, posted just in time for Valentine's Day.

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The poster asked, "What annoys you the most about dating in SF?" More than 100 comments later, it appears there is much to be perturbed by. We've included some of the most insightful comments in the above thread. The comments have been lightly edited for clarity.

The most common complaint from the Redditors was "ghosting," in which one stops communicating with the interested party rather than verbally breaking up with them. People also decried the "transient" nature of San Francisco residents, as well as the area's apparently unconventional sexual mores. Said one commenter: "Everyone is poly" (as in polyamorous).

"It's pretty funny how people can have different views and experiences that vary so much," wrote user itshighbroom. "My friends from New York complain that everyone wants a relationship. They all miss the quick flings."

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After dozens of dates, my Bay Area dating journey ended last year when I met a man who lived in Arkansas at a film festival in Kansas City. We've been dating for almost a year now — the longest I've been in a relationship. In September, he moved to San Francisco.

Read Michelle Robertson's latest stories and send her news tips at mrobertson@sfchronicle.com.

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