By Michael Patrick

Dear Michael,

Happy Pride Month!

It's been a decade, but SPOILER: you're aging great!

Michael Patrick grew up in Marbury, AL, and is currently working as a teacher in New York, NY.

This year you will frost your tips. Don't. This year you will call a guy a f----t. He is being a huge jerk, but call him something else. Because one day someone will call you this and there will be venom in their eyes, and you will truly understand the hatred that can come packed conveniently into six letter words. This year your father will look you in the eyes and tell you he won't love you if you are gay. I have no advice here. It will hurt.

You are going to spend a lot of your time in your late teens and early 20s, after you come out, trying to convince people that you're not like other gay men. You're not campy-- you're different. This is a waste of time. More importantly it's a waste of resources. You will more than likely never again encounter a concentrated group of gay men who are passionate, idealistic, and want to be friends.



During the aforementioned time in your life you will write an article in the University of Alabama newspaper (against all odds you go to college!) about how older generations of LGBT people are to blame for the suicides of young gay people. Someone will tell you you're wrong and that your opinion doesn't matter because you are fat and ugly-- do not listen to them. More people will tell you're wrong because you hate yourself and don't understand LGBT history-- listen to them. One day you will regret publishing this article.

Speaking of fat and ugly-- you are currently taking a cocktail of weight loss drugs. You're losing a tremendous amount of weight and you will look great for yearbook pictures next year. You will regain every pound. Let it happen. It will teach you the value of hard work.

The first people you meet in college will ask you 100 times if you're gay. It's okay that you do not tell them. The first time you tell anyone you're gay will be in a dimly lit dorm room with three people who will never ask you. They will hug you and reassure you that it is not only okay, it is great.

One day at 22 you will stand on the fire escape of the 10th floor of an office building in downtown Chicago. You will think long and hard about jumping. You won't, but you will feel powerful just having the ability to choose. You are depressed. You will feel bad that you can't figure out how to get better. Ask for help. You will not feel bad about your symptoms a few years later. You will feel bad you didn't ask for help sooner. Sometimes the only way people will know you need something is if you ask. Asking for help is not weak. It is powerful.

You will be in Illinois when same sex marriage is legalized there, and despite coming to recognize that marriage is not the ultimate fight for LGBT rights--and even believe it's somewhat of a distraction--you will cry.

You by no means have it figured out at 25. A Lyft driver will ask about women in your neighborhood. You'll wonder if you should tell him you're gay, and you won't. You will still wonder if you should have. You'll wonder why you didn't.

You will spend a lot of time and energy over the next decade trying to love yourself in spite of your queerness. Spend more time and energy in loving yourself because of it. Pay attention over the next decade because LGBT people from the state of Alabama are going to be changing the world as we know it. Patricia Todd will be elected to the Alabama House of Representatives making her the first openly gay person to hold public office in Alabama. Tim Cook will be appointed as CEO of Apple, Inc. and come out while in the position to become the first openly gay CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Laverne Cox will become the first trans person to be nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award in acting, and she will be the first openly trans person to be featured on the cover of Time magazine. These amazing LGBT people will be doing amazing things right in front of your eyes, and they all started from the same place you did--Alabama.

But they are all standing on the shoulders of giants. So embrace these strides, but also spend more time learning about LGBT history. It is not, as you suspect, a history of victims. It's a history rich with fighters, advocates, artists, and intellectuals. It's as much your history as stories about George Washington, the Civil War, or the Louisiana Purchase. Knowing it will make you stronger.

Yours TRULY (lol),

MP

Michael Patrick grew up in Marbury, AL, and is currently working as a teacher in New York, NY