Heads up: This is the horniest the textline has been in quite a while.

Ben and Liam happened across an old photo of one Dr Karl Kruszelnicki and it’s confusing a lot of folk. Because, first flush of manhood.



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☏ Doctor Carl is a piece of ASS

They went straight to the sexy source and got the artist formerly known as Young Dr Karl to come in for a chat and confirm that the picture making Liam weak at the knees was, in fact, him. “Oh yeah, that’s me,” says DK. “That’s me sitting on the top of Mount Keira with my parents, watching the yachts go by past Wollongong on their way from Sydney to Hobart.”

Dr Karl dates Young Dr Karl somewhere between 21 to 25-years-old and says there’s a lesson to be learnt here, “which is that everybody from about 15 to 30 are incredibly handsome and/or beautiful and yet, so insecure. And it such a wasted thing.”

☏ Oh my lordy lord! Ain't that a sexy fella, I need to find myself a 2018, 25 year old version of Doctor Karl YUMMO

“I spent so much time trying to love people very much in a very special way and failing because I just didn’t know what to say or do and I was just hopeless. And so what I’m saying to those people in that age group is just relax. They’re so lucky. When you’re under 25 you can go out for the weekend, the weekend can last for four years. You can take your own body weight in drugs, you can then turn up on Monday and people say, ‘How was your weekend, Ben?’ ‘Pretty good’. If you are 25 and one day old you might do something really radical like watch Lateline or Mad As Hell and stay up past 8 o’clock at night, then next morning you’ll come in having had eight hours of sleep and people will say, ‘Mate, you look like crap’. So, enjoy that window where you are allowed to go and strut your stuff and just be confident in yourself.”

☏ Holy fuck doctor Karl is HOT!! Myles Perth

Now that we have confirmation that Dr Karl is both a Former Hunk and encourages self-love, let’s unwrap more of the Dr Karl enigma. How did he become the Dr Karl that we know today?

Well, his first paid job was working in his mums record shop in Warrawong. And then he did some work experience, which involved rowing an aluminium boat down a river at the steel works in Wollongong measuring the pH. His first real paid job, where he wasn’t being paid by hsi family, was “working as a labourer on The Water Board Gang.”

☏ Dr Karl is the OG mr steal yo guuurl =

“I think that our gang held the record for laying down more sewer water pipes in Dapto than anybody else, because we were accused of bludging over the Christmas break,” remembers Karl. “So we laid down about 50 yards of sewer pipe in one day. I think that record still holds.”

☏ So, karl is a champion at Laying pipe. Choice.

So we know he’s a music lover, labourer and record holder, but how does he retain so much Dr Knowledge? What’s the deal with his amazing memory?

“I’ve got a terrible memory. That’s why I wasn’t the world’s best doctor. The world’s best doctor will be able to list off for you the 15 symptoms of scarlet fever or the 21 causes of clubbing of the fingers. I’d get to about one or two.”

☏ Holy shit balls, young Dr Karl can examine me any day! For scientific purposes of course = Hannah, Mooroolbark

If Dr Karl’s science hour isn’t an amazing feat of memory, how is that he knows so much?

“Because the brain is wired to store stories. Let me give you an example: suppose I give you a thousand words in alphabetical order then say ‘give ‘em back to me’. Forget it. But if the story is about how Kim and Kanye go out for a mud bath and then along comes Donald Trump and then — blow me down! — Beyoncé comes along and then it’s so funny and different things happen in the mud bath and they come out. I use the same words and you can give them back to me as a story.

☏ Wow Liam's Dr Karl impression is sounding really good this morning. - Alex from Wodonga

“So what I do is I turn stuff into stories and then that way it’s a single block of knowledge.

But I’ve had an advantage. Advantage number one: back in my day the Australian Government saw education as a worthwhile investment in the future. So I’ve got 28 years of education including 16 years of university for free — thank you very much! I’m trying to give back. Number two: I then read my way through $10,000 worth of scientific literature every year. Number three: I make four stories a week and that way I’ve got four little blocks of knowledge. Do that every week for a couple of decades and you know something.”

☏ Sexy Dr Karl has made inside feeling all tingly - Andrew - Mulgrave

Tune in next week for Dr Karl's science hour: Andrew from Mulgrave asks why Sexy Dr Karl makes his insides tingle.