EarthFirst! is reeling from internal tensions just now as President Obama’s transsexual activists are on a witch hunt for those in the group not progressive enough on sexuality. A recent article entitled “Deep Green Transphobia” deplores leaders in the Green movement, a bunch of ecofeminists, who do not think “transrights” and “transinclusion” are fundamental to building a world worth living in.

But Greens are about to fall behind as trans-speciesism becomes the new cutting edge in the long war against God. Caitlyn Jenner is so last year.

It seems there are plenty of people out there who suffer from species dysphoria these days. A 20-year-old Norwegian girl got a bunch of publicity because she believes she is a cat trapped in a human body. She crawls on all fours, meows, and purrs. It was once considered a mental disorder. In our brave new world, how long can species dysphoria disorder survive every right-thinking person’s moral duty to celebrate trans-speciesism?

What will Greens do with the latest rights? Marry a tree!

This May environmental activist Richard Torres married Mexico’s famous 1,000-year-old Arbol del Tule, or Tule Tree, in an Inca ceremony full of smoke and reverence for Pachamama — the mother earth goddess.

People in Oaxaca, Mexico were surprised to find Torres all dolled up, hugging and kissing the tree. It is unclear, at this point, if Torres is experiencing species dysphoria. If he is we should presumably applaud his brave attempts to be close to a tree and be his true self. If not, there are some uncomfortable questions to ask. For instance, is this marriage legal? Has the tree given consent, or is Torres committing sexual assault by slobbering over it? If the tree produces seedlings, can Torres sue its promiscuous heart, since presumably Torres was not able to consummate the marriage?

Not that I’m judging Torres. Heaven forbid! That would be microaggressive, hurtful, and sexist — oh, and speciest too, I suppose. Will the Tule tree be allowed to divorce, or is it forever trapped by our patriarchal rules that privilege males like Torres?

You may laugh, but that just shows how out of touch you are.

A few miles from where I live, members of the Green group EarthFirst! met to hold hands in sacred circles, bang drums, and pray to trees. They insist that all life is fundamentally one. This is an important dogma in the environmentalist movement.

A logical result is a perverting of Christian respect for the creation into pagan reverence for nature. Some even believe the Earth is itself a living being.

Trees play important roles in the mythologies of various cultures. For instance, in the ever-evolving pop pagan culture of North America movies like Avatar have trees as the symbol and medium of the Deity.

The green gospel of James Cameron, Avatar’s maker, and the recent Noah movie, says that too many industrious humans will destroy the planet. The solution is to reduce human prosperity, reduce human access to energy, and reduce human population.

This is bad news. And it does not reflect the reality of the way the world actually works. I don’t deny that human nature is grossly wicked. As Blaise Pascal wrote, “The more enlightened we are, the more we discover greatness and misery in man.” Both aspects of our existence are plain. Man is the image of God, but disfigured and deformed. If we refuse to recognize the reality of our nature, the human search for meaning becomes full of hopeless, often dangerous, contradictions.

Cass Sunstein, President Obama’s handpicked “regulatory czar,” believes that we will soon have laws that allow animals and plants to sue humans for violating their rights, an idea previously backed by President Obama’s science czar, John Holdren. In 2010 voters in Switzerland got to decide whether animals can sue, and Bolivia recently argued before the United Nations that Mother Earth be given human rights.

Before you laugh off these people as delusional, take time to consider that they make the laws. Surely something is amiss when, as in the United States, you may be fined $250,000 for destroying an eagle egg, but the government concludes “that the right of personal privacy includes the abortion decision,” and will help pay for it with taxpayer funds. Ignoring reality, or inventing one’s own reality, is not free.