Robert Rodriguez Boards Up Creative Well After It Runs Dry With ‘Machete Kills’ 0 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 0 user reviews.

Texas authorities have forced director Robert Rodriguez to board up his creative well after realizing it had run dry. The decision was made while authorities watched the filmmaker’s latest feature, “Machete Kills,” the unnecessary sequel to 2010’s “Machete.”

According to Rodriguez, police officers arrived early this morning at his Troublemaker Studios headquarters in Austin with a court order to board up the well. The local judge who issued the order, felt the dreadful reviews and $3.8 million opening weekend for “Machete Kills” was enough evidence that there is nothing left in Rodriguez’s creative well.

“The joke’s on them,” Rodriguez told Hollywood & Swine. “That well ran dry years ago, while I was in the middle of making ‘The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl.’ I thought they would definitely force me to board it up after I made ‘Spy Kids 4,’ but luckily no one saw that film.”

Rodriguez’s creative well was completely full when he burst on the Hollywood scene with his inventive 1993 low-budget action film “El Mariachi,” and the well seemed to be extremely deep with the release of his other films including “Desperado,” “From Dusk Till Dawn,” “Spy Kids,” and “Sin City.” Unfortunately, unlike his “Grindhouse” counterpart Quentin Tarantino, Rodriguez kept going back to the same well too many times, until there was hardly anything left in it by the mid-2000s.

Rodriguez has attempted to hide the fact from authorities that his well had run dry with the use of stunt casting in his “Machete” franchise with the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Steven Seagal, Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson, but unfortunately for him, critics and moviegoers finally saw through it.