Portrait part of the Steve Rosenfield “What I Be Project”

Having mental health illness is like having a label branded on the top of your forehead. No matter what you do to hide it with hair, it will always be there. If you choose to show it, others will judge. When you try to open up to someone who does not understand, you leave the door open to prejudice.

This has been my world ever since I had to seek help about a year ago. But by sharing my story, I have found the strength to overcome my self-stigma and help others rethink what mental health stigma means.

The reality of mental health stigma

(U.S. Air Force illustration by Airman 1st Class Devin N. Boyer/Released) https://www.flickr.com/photos/dinfos_showcase/sets/72157650921376780/

Stigma is a mark of disgrace that affects three out of four people with mental illness. It brings feelings of shame, blame, hopelessness, and distress that further isolates one from others. The negative stereotypes that come with mental health conditions like depression, PTSD, and bipolar, often make it difficult and uncomfortable for people to open up and seek help.

How has mental health stigma affected me?

When I was hospitalized last year and my doctor told me of my mental health condition, I couldn’t believe it. My world was turned upside down for the treatment I needed to add to my routine. From seeing a therapist every week to taking medicine that I never heard of, I was in complete denial. Everything that I used to think was normal was no longer going to be the same. I felt angry that this had happened to me and tried to bargain my way out of my situation.

For fear of being shamed, I stopped taking my medications and lied to my therapist and supports about my actions for half a year. This turned out to be a grave mistake, as it triggered several depressive episodes that complicated my work, school, and personal life. Fortunately, this turned into an important lesson learned and I slowly started to develop confidence in my treatment plan and ultimately myself again.

Through the support of friends, family, and staff, I turned my self-stigmatizing into self-care. I started to see the silver lining in my surroundings and that is what helped me get back on track with the things that I was doing. What I am most grateful for is that I have been able to rethink the stigma around mental health in my life by accepting its place and going beyond with my positive steps forward.

Going beyond the stigma

Changing public perception about mental health is not easy, but we have to start somewhere. Over my year of dealing with mental health stigma, I have learned that it is not by any means a limitation. People living with mental health conditions have made incredible contributions in the world. It gives me hope that as a community, we can continue to open up and share our stories so we can inspire others to feel unashamed and able to reach their fullest potentials.

Here are a handful of others who are going beyond the stigma and helping us rethink how we consider mental health wellness:

“In 2014, after five years of having major depressive disorder, my diagnosis changed. Bipolar disorder is not only stigmatized, it is misunderstood, hushed, shunned, ignored, shamed, and feared. I am not a bipolar person, I am a person with bipolar disorder.”

— Becca Gioioso, Senior at Boston College

“I am a middle aged dad diagnosed with Bipolar 1 in January of 2015. After finally agreeing with my doctor that I could not keep even a small part of my hypo mania, I came to terms with the proper drug plan to stabilize my moods. I thought I had a good handle on how mental illness is stigmatized in our society with my eyes looking in from the outside. But now looking out from the inside, I get it now, and do not judge my family and friends for not understanding this stigma. Hope they never have to get ill to grasp it.”

— Jack G.

“Learning how to manage mental health after a diagnosis is an uneven process, and stumbles are to be expected. I learned from my mistakes and continued to move forward. Recovery is possible, recovery is attainable, and recovery is freedom.”

— Benjamin McAfee, Founder of MyCampusHealth.com (Featured in BP magazine)

Contribute to my Marathon for Mental Health:

Boston Marathon roadmap for mental health care: firstgiving.com/fundraiser/ryan-lee-9/TeamBrookline2016

Mental health care is a tricky space to navigate if you have never reached out for help before. What I have been called to do is raise awareness about resources in the community like the Brookline Community Mental Health Center that serves to help people in difficult life circumstances and emotional distress feel better, function more effectively, and experience life more fully. I am running the 2016 Boston Marathon to raise money for this organization so that folks in the community can afford mental health resources in times of crisis. If you want to help, you can donate here: firstgiving.com/fundraiser/ryan-lee-9/TeamBrookline2016

You can follow future campaign updates at www.marathonformentalhealth.com!