It’s hard not to love Eurovision: it’s camp, kitsch fun and I’m a sucker for power ballads and dance floor bangers. In recent years, I have been swept up in the excitement. But as the son of a Palestinian refugee and as a gay man, I simply cannot bring myself to take part in the revelries this year.

I’m not alone. With the grand final to be held in Tel Aviv on 18 May, there are widespread calls for artists and broadcast partners to boycott this year’s event in protest at host country Israel’s violations of the human rights of Palestinians.

As the son of a Palestinian man who fled Jaffa – now a part of Tel Aviv – as violence engulfed the city during during Orthodox Easter in 1948, I can’t ignore the politics of this year’s event. The Nakba – Arabic for “catastrophe” – was the ethnic cleansing of Palestine around the creation of the state of Israel in 1948. Zionist forces captured around 78% of the country, depopulating and destroying 400-500 villages and towns. More than 700,000 Palestinians – both Muslim and Christian – fled or were forcibly expelled from their homes. My late father was one of them.

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Dad was nine years old when my grandmother made the difficult decision to flee. The experience of his happy beachside childhood suddenly being cut through with violence was seared into his memory right up until he died in 2009. He was never able to shake off the trauma of dispossession and loss of homeland. His stories left a sorrowful, bittersweet yet important legacy.

This is my family’s inheritance: a defining aspect of our identity, and one that fuels my desire for justice.

I know critics will tell me Eurovision in Israel will just be a bit of fun, or that we shouldn’t mix politics with music. But to say that would be incredibly misguided, especially considering how it always plays out as a cultural theatre for the political controversies of the day.

Remember when Azerbaijan was placed under intense scrutiny when it hosted Eurovision in 2012 due to the human rights abuses undertaken by its autocratic government? Within my circles, the criticism came mainly from fellow journalists or gay friends and acquaintances, since press freedom and LGBTI rights have both been under attack in Azerbaijan. Yet as Eurovision heads to Israel – where journalists are deported and former members of the Israeli intelligence corps have testified that Palestinians are exposed to non-stop monitoring without any legal protection or rights – the criticism from these groups has been minimal.

They’ve also been minimal compared to 2014, when, after Conchita Wurst’s win, Russian politicians hurled anti-gay remarks at her and Eurovision as a whole, causing uproar in LGBTI communities. Russia’s controversial “gay propaganda” law was still in its infancy, and I now hear Russia’s involvement in Eurovision regularly tied to its track record on LGBTI rights.

We cannot afford to be neutral on this issue

This year’s Eurovision, often nicknamed the “gay Olympics”, is being held just weeks before Tel Aviv Pride – an annual event where Israel presents itself as a haven for LGBTI expression even though queer Palestinian citizens of Israel do not enjoy the same rights as their Jewish counterparts. In a deep irony for an event supposedly about inclusion, Palestinians from the blockaded West Bank and Gaza, including queer Palestinians, are effectively banned from attending Eurovision. Activists who support Palestinians have also been told they will not be allowed into the country.

To add salt to the wound, Eurovision finals are taking place at the time of the commemoration of the Nakba, held on 15 May. On Wednesday, during a day of commemorative rallies, Israeli forces shot 16 Palestinian protesters on the Gaza frontier.

The hypocrisy of those celebrating Eurovision this year while still claiming to be activists or supporters of human rights is staggering. There’s a term for it: “progressive except Palestine”.

These are people who would be vocal about feminism and the MeToo campaign, would show solidarity with Black Lives Matter, trans people or Indigenous causes, or express support for same-sex marriage – especially in Australia during the recent postal survey campaign. These same progressives would also share endless articles that highlight institutional racism in governments and societies, shed light on the rise of far-right extremism or human rights abuses in other countries around the world – yet they remain silent or neutral on Palestine.

We cannot afford to be neutral on this issue.

Not everyone is expected to be an expert on the Israel-Palestine conflict, but everybody performing or taking part in Eurovision celebrations this year should educate themselves about what is happening. It’s the very least they can do.

The Nakba continues today. Displaced Palestinians are barred from returning to reclaim their homes, illegal settlements expand and theft of Palestinian land in the West Bank continues. The separation walls restrict Palestinians’ freedom of movement and arrests are rife. The humanitarian crisis and violence from the siege of Gaza is ongoing.

Meanwhile, the 1.6 million Palestinian citizens within Israeli borders are not Palestinians in the eyes of the government: they’re “Israeli-Arabs”. Rights groups list more than 50 pieces of Israeli legislation discriminating against them. Just last year, after years of politicians and supporters insisting Israel was not an apartheid state, Knesset passed the “Jewish nation state law”, effectively giving racial discrimination against Palestinians a legal foundation – and mirroring apartheid South Africa.

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Inspired by the artists who shunned apartheid South Africa in the 1980s, the Palestinian-led global Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions (BDS) movement has for years now been calling for non-violent cultural boycott against Israel until it meets its obligations under international law. The global reach of BDS has been successful in convincing Lana Del Rey and Lorde to cancel performances. In the last few months we’ve seen prominent figures like Vivienne Westwood, Pink Floyd’s Roger Waters, Brian Eno, and Peter Gabriel urging the BBC to cancel its coverage of Eurovision.

Similarly, an increasing number of LGBTI people and allies, including 60-plus queer organisations around the world led by alQaws, the Palestinian organisation for sexual and gender diversity, are stepping up to say there’s no pride in Israeli apartheid.

So do not expect me to get swept up in the Eurovision fun this year. I simply cannot.