Just imagine if IT ever tried to scare linguists.

‘I have existed for æons upon æons…’

‘Whoa whoa whoa hold up. Do you speak PIE?’

‘…What?’

‘Well if you’ve existed for so long please tell us you speak it’

‘Uh yeah I obviously had to learn it eventually to—’

‘Oh thank you seriously please tell us if this reconstruction is right—(clears throat, utters incomprehensible strings of plosives and laryngeals)’

‘I think you’re missing the poi—’

‘HOLD UP. What about extinct Native American langauages? Dude you have no idea how long we’ve wanted to get good data on those—’

‘…“Dude”?’

‘Oh! Oh! Plains Indian Sign Language. Martha’s Vineyard Sign Language. You have no idea how badly we need data on those—’

‘…Sigh… These idiots are worse than historians’

