The Lone Ranger’s Last Request …

March 4, 2011 at 4:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment



The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured By an enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaims, “So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger” …

“In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days.” “Before I kill you, I grant you three requests” “What is your FIRST request ???’

The Lone Ranger responds, “I’d like to speak to my horse.”

The Chief nods and Silver is brought Before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver’s ear, and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening, Silver returns with A beautiful blonde woman on his back.

As the Indian Chief watches, The blonde enters the Lone Ranger’s tent. And spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits he’s impressed. “You have a very fine and loyal horse”, “But I will still kill you in two days.” “What is your SECOND request ???”

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak To his horse.

Silver is brought to Him, And he again whispers in the horse’s ear. As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief’s surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a Voluptuous brunette, more attractive Than the blonde. She enters the Lone Rangers tent And spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief Is again impressed. “You are indeed a man of many talents,” “But I will still kill you tomorrow.” “What is your LAST request ???”

The Lone Ranger responds, “I’d like to speak to my horse, ….. Alone.”

The Chief is curious, but he agrees, And Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger’s tent.

Once they’re alone, The Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,

Looks him square in the eye and says, Listen Very Carefully !!!!

FOR… THE…. LAST… TIME… I SAID … ‘BRING POSSE not PUSSY’

..

..

THE NEWS

Odd news from around the world

Arab airline sued over passenger’s death: “A distraught family has revealed shocking details of their mother’s death on an Emirates flight, claiming the crew did nothing to save her. Her family alleges that the flight crew failed to provide adequate medical assistance in the crucial moments following Ms Wilson’s heart attack. With the crew allegedly failing to act, Mr Carriker attempted to move his mother out of the bathroom but struggled as she was “dead weight”. Eventually a male flight attendant helped move her onto the floor in the middle of the aisle and handed Mr Carriker an oxygen mask, but allegedly did not assist in putting it on. The family claims that the crew did not perform CPR, did not announce a medical emergency and that no defibrillators – which the airline states it has on its planes – were brought out. The horror didn’t end there for the family – after touching down the crew allegedly let all the other passenger off the plane first before letting paramedics on board.”

Spider in fuel tank prompts Mazda to recall 52,000 vehicles: “A spider which wove a web inside an engine prompted Mazda overnight to recall 52,000 vehicles across the US to outfit them with special screens to keep the spiders out. The problem was first discovered in October 2009 when a dealer found a spider web in a canister vent line when a customer brought their Mazda 6 in for repairs after it started leaking fuel. The dealer investigated further and it was determined that the web blocked up the vent and caused “excessive vacuum” in the fuel tank which “eventually resulted in a crack in the fuel tank through repetitive negative pressure stress,” Mazda said in filings with safety regulators. Dealers will inspect all the vehicles for cracks, clean out the vents, install a “spring to prohibit spider intrusion” and reprogram the powertrain control module to avoid a build up of pressure in the tank.”

Tamil Tigers steal gold: “Canadian detectives are hunting the masterminds of a sophisticated $1.95 million bank fraud that netted the thieves 75 gold bars from Australia’s Perth Mint. The gold bars are uniquely Australian, stamped with jumping kangaroos and the Perth Mint’s swan logo, and were illegally bought last month from a Montreal financial institution. Toronto Police have released photos of the Perth Mint gold bars to help the public easily identify the stolen booty. The fraudsters managed to pull off the theft by illegally obtaining a draft from a Toronto bank to obtain the $1.95 million. They then bought the 75 Perth Mint gold bars. Detective Moran said two men have been charged with possessing the bars, Thevarajah Thambipillai, 55, and Senthuran Kanapathipillai, 32, but the search continues for alleged accomplices. “One of them had one of the bars in his possession at the time of his arrest and that’s the bar we have,” Detective Moran said.” [Canada has a large population of “refugee” Tamils]

Famous statue may collapse: “Michelangelo’s David is in danger of collapsing because of vibrations from a nearby construction site, an Italian expert warned overnight. Workers are poised to begin excavation work on a new high-speed train to run underneath the Italian city of Florence. But architect Fernando De Simone says the digging will violently shake the Galleria dell’Accademia, which houses the world-famous statue. And he predicts the reverberations will be so bad they could cause the 17-foot (5.17-meter) marble nude to topple over. Created between 1501 and 1504, Michelangelo’s statute representing the biblical figure of David is widely regarded as the most perfect nude male form ever sculpted.” [The statue was sculpted by Michelangelo, who was homosexual]

Naughty lady embarrasses society ball: “The TV cameras were told to ignore her, and Austria’s rich and powerful sought to avoid her. But amid all the bling on display on Thursday night at the Vienna Opera Ball, most eyes were still on one particular jewel – Ruby. With Ruby, a.k.a. Karima el-Mahroug, at the centre of the scandal plaguing Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi, her scheduled appearance at Austria’s ball of balls was a sensation most of the wealthy and influential guests present would have been happy to do without. State TV was initially ordered to avoid covering her. But with the Berlusconi scandal big news, she was hard to keep out of sight – let alone out of mind. “I can’t waltz,” she told reporters before pausing for effect, and adding with a smile: “I can only belly dance.”

And don’t forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.

