China announced a ban today on singing its national anthem, “The March of the Volunteers,” at weddings, funerals and other non-political, non-dignified events, according to a Xinhua agency report, cited by Reuters. Anyone found breaking the ban will be “criticized and corrected,” a punishment that’s somehow both vague and terrifying at the same time. Think about that at your next soccer/hockey/basketball/baseball/football game, ‘murricans.

Now, onto the other news you might have missed:

California deprived of crucial stretchy pants imports

This time it’s gone too far: the chillest state finds itself bereft of yoga apparel due to crippling delays at west coast trade ports.

Video: That’s not a squawk — that’s a roar

Birds have very close genetic links to dinosaurs, according to a new avian family tree — the most comprehensive ever drawn, according to scientists.

Is that banana conflict free?

A 2013 Supreme Court ruling that limits human rights complaints against foreign countries is getting lots of play among U.S. firms.

And you thought candy cigarettes were bad

Roughly 16 million U.S. children now have legal access to e-cigarettes in 10 states and the District of Columbia, according to the CDC.

Seeing the forest for the greens

Despite a dramatic fall from public grace five years ago, Tiger Woods appears on track to make his second billion in career earnings.

Slideshow: Now hold your breath…

A surfer discovers what he believes may be the “Holy Grail of big waves.” See for yourself: