To start, a standardised disclaimer: nothing which follows that doesn’t apply to you is a slight against your particular journey and how you got/are getting to wherever “there” is or what that may or may not entail for you. Insert here a standard celebration of how we are all unique, thus none of us are special snowflakes, along side a relief that the online world in particular, but generally most of life also, isn’t a zero-sum affair. Oprah won’t give you a house, nor you, nor you, nor me, and some might gripe differently about this, others won’t, neither taking away from anyone else as a result.

If you expected me to start with specs outlining how long I’ve been on T, when I got chest reconstruction with X surgeon of current favour and you’ve yet to come across someone who had lower surgeries before Dr Crane joined Brownstein’s practice: I’m probably trans older than you. This has no inherent value. But sometimes people in their 40s are keen to meet other people in their 40s rather than feel like wallpaper around the latest crowd of young adults entering their 20s mostly convinced no one from generations prior was pre-occupied with the environment, racial and gender inequalities. Sometimes 40 year olds like to reminisce about watching The Nature of Things. It’s not all about you! I’m already well aware very little of it is about me or our elders.

I’m not in my 40s yet, I utilised a parallel to get a point across, knowing that’s a dangerous thing to do because ultimately, I’m comparing an apple to an orange. If you know that to err is human and to forgive is not community policy, read on. If I’ve lost you already, my filter is working, however problematic it is.

If you remember the days that Boys Don’t Cry was one of the few mainstream media references around and your early days of your transition, whatever that includes for you, aren’t documented on youtube, FB, tumblr because those websites didn’t exist: let’s go for a stroll along the shore. I won’t make assumptions about why you did or didn’t do X even though I did Y and only ask that in return you don’t judge me for not bothering with Rogaine.

If you’ve been told the “truscum vs transtrenders” debate is not the latest incarnation of the blood, sweat and tears spilled over “tg/ts” and you were long ago too burnt out to be bothered, come here with that sexy confidence of yours. If you’d never heard either of those latest terms, please cuddle me as I hope your wisdom is shared by proximity. I’ve mostly learnt not to look on as the train wrecks itself but the death of this old habit is still lacking a final nail in its coffin.

If you’re not from the US but you could wax poetic about private health insurance and name more surgeons practicing in the US than from the rest of the world combined thanks to US dominated forums that drowned you out: that shine in my eye is a tear of joy. I’ve found my better half. Let us be grateful no one’s requesting to see our genitals on social media. If you’re from the US, don’t worry, I can follow whatever current event you’d like to discuss without you wondering how I already have at least a cursory knowledge of it.