Can you keep both hands on the steering wheel, concentrate on the traffic, and use Tongue Texting for safe driving?

Image source: Pippa Garner’s “Ms. Goodwrench” cartoon for Car and Driver Magazine, March 2009 edition

Ms. Goodwrench also claims Tongue Texting is a safe way to practice oral sex while driving around the town. How fast can you Tongue Text, ‘the apple falls from the tree for free?’

Is Ms. Goodwrench married to the famous Hollydale trucker, Speedy Speedcat?

In closing, Tongue Texting may have prevented the Subway crash on Boston’s Green Line caused by Texting Trolley Driver, Aidan Quinn. The Transman (a female-to-male transformer and a pun for Trains-man) admitted he was texting his girlfriend when he rear-ended a trolley and injured 49 people on May 8th.

For the safety of commuters, Daniel A. Grabauskas, the general manager of the MBTA, will fire any T operators caught carrying a cellphone, pager, or similar device.

Hopefully, the new rules will stop the Transman’s Gear

from entering another Trains’ Rear.

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