ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A global survey has concluded that the type of person who serves zero purpose on this planet are the no-hoper fuck bags that manage rental property.

Whether it be in Russia’s far east or Queensland’s far south-west corner, it seems the disdain for leasing agents transcends culture, class, language and wealth.

Welcoming the news today was a currently-out-of-work bar manager in our town’s French Quarter, who tells The Advocate this afternoon that his recent dealings with his unit’s leasing agent all but confirms the survey’s findings.

“It’s honestly astonishing how much of a fucking useless cunt that bloke is,” said Gary Markden, manager of The Gelded Seahorse on Rue de Branlette.

“Emails riddled with spelling mistakes, emails left unanswered. Phonecalls missed. Fuck me dead, cunt. Do your fucking job. The toilet has been leaking so bad recently, my wife and I have been forced to shit in Glad bags and throw them out the window,”

“You’d be fucked if the agent gave a shit. Fuck me! I’m fucking wild! The last time he came around my place, I almost booted the cunt down the stairs. But I would never do that. I’d lose everything. But you know what I mean?”

Our reporter said he did.

The Advocate reached out to a number of local rental property managers for comment but ironically none of them have yet to respond

More to come.

