Simply put, men are objectified in terms of money in a way that parallels the sexual objectification of women. That is not to say that men are treated in the same exact way as women, or that men in society are disadvantaged in the same ways or to the same degree as women. But men can be treated as objects too.

Objectification

Objectification means looking at someone as a commodity, an object of either pleasure or utility.

It includes not seeing the person’s inner feelings, fears, needs or basic humanity. This means not seeing the person as having a subjective self that is separate from your own.

This is not to say that the mere noticing of a person’s looks is objectification. We see how someone looks first, before we know much else about them. But objectification concerns a systematic bias.

We usually talk about the objectification of women in terms of their being viewed as bodies; bodies that are either appealing (or “hot” or sexy) or not, with little or no regard for the person in the body. Objectification is usually self serving and sometimes exploitive; and it implies a failure of empathy.

Men can be physically objectified too and can be viewed as hunks, beefcake, eye candy and babes or the opposite. And women (and men) do sometimes view men this way. But men are most often objectified, seen as objects of utility, in terms of their power, success and money.

Dimensions of male objectification

With greater or lesser amounts of success, power and money men are attractive to women or potential partners to a greater or lesser extent. Sure being accomplished or being good at something are appealing traits. But men are perceived in different ways based solely on power and money. As my friend Debra Kaplan would say “The richer you are, the more attractive you become.” (See Debra’s soon-to-be published book about money and sexuality.)

I suppose some would argue that women are of necessity looking for “good providers” and men are looking for good child-bearing prospects. But regardless of the origins there are certain results which may not be so desirable today.

Women can be drawn to rich men partly because of the way it enhances their own status. This is an exact parallel of the way that a beautiful woman enhances the perceived status of the man she is with. This is a self-serving reason to be seen with someone and has nothing necessarily to do with the actual relationship. In buying into this men and women are essentially agreeing to let themselves be used.

Men can fall victim to “self-objectification” in the same way that women do. This happens when people view themselves as though they were looking at themselves from outside. It means evaluating yourself in terms of how you think others might see you and losing sight of your real sense of self. For women it is viewing oneself as if through the eyes of a man who is looking at them as an object of sexual pleasure. To place your self worth in someone else’s hands is always ultimately to devalue yourself.

Men become even more highly competitive with one another and feel one up or one down based on how they measure up money-wise. This puts distance between men and makes them feel bad in the same way that women feel threatened by someone who looks better than them.

Men are at risk to get carried away with the business of power and money in the same way that women can get carried away with being skinny or having plastic surgery. Men can become workaholics. They can get wrapped up in risky activities, or low-probability high-payoff situations. They can allow themselves to behave in immoral or sociopathic ways if this is somehow “normalized” in the effort to get ahead.

Money can become sexualized for men and for women as well. One form of sexual addiction involves being aroused by the mere act of exchanging money for sex and less aroused when sex is consensual. This is the sex addict whose sexual compulsion involves unequal power, exploitation, buying someone and sometimes “rescuing” someone.

It is worthwhile to remind ourselves of the need to fight these trends toward mutual commoditization in our culture. We women need to be able to see the inherently worthwhile things in men and resist the tendency to hold men to unrealistic standards.