Author's Note: This marks my first foray into the Angel Beats! fandom, and I'm hoping that it will be a good one. I'm going to be pouring a lot of myself into this piece, drawing on as many emotions as I am capable of feeling. So I warn you now, there may be some amazing highs and some incredible lows by the time I'm finished here. And if at any point you should find it incredibly cliché, you have my apologies for that too.

This will be the first book of at least six drafts I have prepared. There may yet be more after that, so please bear with me. Each book has a role to play within the full duration of this story, and each has a slightly different theme.

If you read this story then please take the time to review it. I don't mind praise, I don't mind criticism. If there's something I can use or do to improve my writing style then I'm going to be relying upon you to point it out to me.

I would also like to have somebody familiar with Angel Beats! act as a Beta for me on this. If this first chapter grabs you in any way and you'd be interested in helping me perfect the parts that follow hereafter then please drop me a message and we'll arrange something.

Thank you for coming here. I hope you enjoy reading.

NKC

Angel Beats! エンジェルビーツ!

Our Beats Incarnate

Book I: The Station

Chapter 1: To Dream of an Angel

Kanade looked up at him, her golden eyes pleading with the full force of every fibre of her being, begging him to repeat the words he'd spoken to her mere moments before. He couldn't overlook the knowing sadness there, the acceptance in her eyes of what had to come next, "Please let me believe in everything you believed in."

Yuzuru faltered, his own eyes filled with the cacophony of bitter and conflicting emotions from within his very heart – regret for a love that was not yet lost, longing for a future that was not yet won. Regret over a truth already on the verge of being realised. He knew very well the price of what she wanted him to say, the weight that those few little worlds carried for both of their fates. He knew exactly what it would mean, what would happen afterwards, and that if he were to accept that – if he surrendered to it – it would mean losing the very thing he was desperately fighting to keep a hold of. He couldn't exist here without her. It would be no existence at all.

He closed his eyes, barely able to bear it.

"Let me believe that…" he heard the sad smile as it worked its way slowly across her lips, "That life is worth living."

He opened his eyes again, overflowing now with all the pain and anguish of a future he knew he was about to deny himself. To grant her wish, to accept what she needed him to accept, to let her move on… To accept a future in this world without her.

"Yuzuru…" she pleaded once more.

"Kanade." he pulled her into his arms, holding her as close as he possibly could. She wrapped her own arms around him, returning the embrace, "I love you. Let's stay together forever." he fought to hold back his tears, but his voice still faltered. He wanted to hold her here, so close that she could never ever leave.

"Yes…" she replied, barely a raw whisper into his chest, "Thank you, Yuzuru."

"Let's stay together forever and ever, okay?" he pleaded softly, barely daring to hope that it was possible.

"Okay. Thank you."

He pulled her tighter still into his arms, "I love you Kanade" his sorrow rose with urgency, begging her without words to remain there with him.

Kanade closed her eyes, her head rested against his chest, "Right" a contented, sorrowful smile was just about all that she could muster, "Thank you so much"

Tears began to well up in Yuzuru's eyes, streaking freely down his cheeks, leaving warm and bitter trails as they soaked into his collar.

"Kanade…" his whimpered through the tears, holding her all the tighter. He no longer had the strength to let go.

"Thank you for loving me." She went on, as if it were the greatest gift in the world. As if nothing in all of existence could have made her happier.

"Please don't pass on, Kanade." Yuzuru begged her, desperate now, feeling – knowing – the inevitable, powerless to stop it, "Kanade!"

"Truly and deeply…" she whispered with absolute certitude, "Thank you," she closed her eyes for the final time, nothing left but the most earnest gratitude of a deepest wish fulfilled, "For giving my life to me."

And, like the most beautiful of dreams, she was gone.

-o-O-o-

Once upon a time, I gave a girl my heart…

-o-O-o-

With a start, Yuzuru sat bolt upright in his bed, his eyes wide in a moment of panic and a cold sweat plastering his bedclothes to his skin. A wave of apprehensive goose bumps washed across his flesh and a chilled shiver ran down his spine, marking the end of the recurring nightmare as his senses pulled him back to the less vivid reality of the dimly lit bedroom in which he was currently sitting.

It took him a few moments longer to fully quell his rising panic, and he flung himself back onto his cool, sodden mattress with an uneasy sigh. He ran a hand through his fringe, hoping to clear his mind and collect his thoughts as his heart returned to a more restful rhythm. The little alarm clock on the floor beside him cast its light onto the ceiling, declaring in a deep, eerie blue that it was a few minutes to six in the morning.

The exact same time, the exact same dream; as was his near-nightly ritual of torment. It had plagued him now for so long that he could no longer recall a time before the dream – of the silver-haired, golden eyed girl of his fantasies, lost to him for all eternity. He had no idea who she was, or why this dream was so persistent in its recurring torment, but there was little he could do to keep it at bay.

No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, it would always return like an inescapable terror hunting him down in the night.

But what disturbed him the most was how real it all felt – the setting felt real, the emotions it touched deep in his soul felt real. The girl felt real.

The shrill beep of his alarm clock interjected rudely into his thoughts, drawing him back once again to the wider world of his bedroom. It was still before sunrise, the skies to the east not even threatening faint morning twilight yet, and there was a distinct chill in the air. Stars twinkled slowly through his window, revealing a cloudless sky. If it remained that way then the day would be sunny, warm, and glorious.

Monday… I hate Monday…

They were always such hard work, after a weekend of rest. Or after what had turned out to be a weekend of hard work and intense revision for the examinations of the coming week. He knew he had to be prepared for these tests, if he ever wanted to qualify as a doctor. But he still resented being forced to surrender a well-earned weekend off.

Relaxation would just have to wait, it seemed, until the week was over and done with.

With an unrestrained grunt of disgust Yuzuru slapped his hand down hard on the snooze button before rolling over and pulling up his futon, still feeling exhausted, "Five more minutes…"

He wasn't ready for the dawn.

-o-O-o-

The next sound to greet Yuzuru's ears wasn't the irritating beep of his alarm clock, but the angered buzz of his phone as it vibrated its way slowly across his desk. It wasn't enough to rouse him fully from his sleep. But when it reached the edge and ran out of desk it plummeted to the floor, impacting the hard wood with a loud crack, grabbing his attention as if it had been a gunshot.

"I'm up!" Yuzuru jumped to his feet with a start, flinging his futon clear across his room.

It took him a moment to fully get his bearings, trying to figure out what was going on. His phone, still buzzing, now began to make a slow journey across the hardwood floor. The screen danced in brightly illuminated warning as it tried to grab his attention.

"Oh, crap!" he dived for it, barely pausing to take note of the writing on the screen telling him exactly who it was calling.

With a flick of his wrist he accepted the call, "Hello?"

"Otonashi?" an agitated voice came down the receiver, "Where the heck are you?"

It took a few seconds of silence for the familiar voice to register as somebody he knew, "Igarashi?"

"You should've been here half an hour ago!" his classmate from medical school went on.

"What? What are you…" Yuzuru puzzled, "Hold on." He reached over to his alarm clock, picking it up and inspecting it closely to double-check the time. The numbers on the front were flashing midnight, "Oh no!"

"Look… The train's here already." His friend sighed, "I can't afford to wait for the next one and risk missing the exam…"

"No," Yuzuru rubbed the sleep from his tired eyes with a sigh, "No, I understand."

"You'd better get a move on, or you'll miss it too."

"I'll get there as quickly as I can." Without even pausing to say goodbye he slammed the phone shut, disconnecting the call.

For the briefest moments Yuzuru simply sat there in silence, collecting his thoughts.

"Shit!" and he bolted from his room.

-o-O-o-

The journey to his class was normally a fairly pleasant one. A brisk fifteen minute walk to the train station (or a five minute bus ride, if he could be bothered to fork out the extra funds), a ten minute train ride to the terminal just outside the Central Business District, and a further ten minute stroll to the lone building which constituted the med school campus. It ought to have been the same today – the sun was up, giving the day a comfortably bright and permeating warmth. Yuzuru allowed himself to enjoy it for a fleeting moment, if only to calm his nerves.

There was no point in rushing to the station and beating the next train there. He'd still have to wait five to ten minutes before the next one was due to arrive. Standing around just gave him time to think, and it seemed that lately whenever he allowed his mind to wander the only destination his thoughts could reach was that discomforting dream and the mysterious angelic girl within it.

He had spent years of his life trying to figure out exactly who she was and what the dream itself meant. She simply felt too real to be a pure figment of his imagination. But then, how could anything other than that even be possible? Well, he knew it couldn't – it was a dream, and only a dream. But still, even the most rational parts of his mind couldn't dispel the feeling that he somehow knew her, that it was all a part of some deep, locked-away memory rather than raw imagination.

It wasn't even as if he could recall exactly when he first started having those vivid visions. They'd been with him for so long now… But the harder he thought about it, the further he felt from any actual answers.

Yuzuru rounded a corner, entering the small business district which surrounded the mass transit terminal where the urban metro and bus stations met. It was always busier here, bustling with people starting their day, making their way to wherever they were going, and the pleasantness of the morning seemed only to draw out even more of them into the ever-moving throng.

A gentle mellifluous hum caught his ear for a moment, and he stopped dead in his tracks.

Wait… his eyes drew wider in revelation. I know that tune from somewhere…

Yuzuru half-turned toward the source, giving the melody his complete and undivided attention. It stirred up memories within him, indistinct and distant recollections, as if remembering a near-forgotten dream. People he knew, faces he vaguely recognised, places that seemed bizarrely unfamiliar yet reminiscent at the same time. And then, all at once, he envisioned the silver haired girl from his dreams. She was skipping happily in front of him as he walked, humming that very same tune to herself.

"Where is that song from?" he remembered asking, "You were humming it whilst setting things up earlier."

She stopped skipping, almost turning to him for a moment, "I don't remember exactly." She replied, her voice as soft as silk.

"I remember." Another familiar face came into his vision; off-carmine hair held barely in check by a black hairband, eyes like vibrant emeralds, "It's the last song Iwasawa was singing. It's called 'My Song'."

My Song…

Yuzuru turned all the way around. There, a girl; short silvery hair and a face obscured by a hat busied herself with her mobile phone before casually pushing off from the wall she was leaning against, turning and starting to walk away, the melodious tune still escaping from her lips in a gentle hum.

If it was all truly just a dream, how could this girl possibly know it?

Yuzuru found his legs were carrying him forwards before he could even will himself to stop. An outstretched hand reached desperately for her shoulder, and the world around him seemed to fall away into insignificant silence as she turned around slowly to face him.

His breath caught in his throat as those deep golden eyes looked up at him in question. Her face, framed by the sunlit shimmering fronds of her hair, seemed to flow from one uncertain emotion to the next – puzzlement, askant suspicion, and fleeting surprise before a softly bashful blush settled across her gentle features.

"I'm…" Yuzuru tried to start, but found his mind reeling and his words faltering on his lips. Is this her? Is this really the girl from my dream?

She simply blinked back at him, though he was thankful she wasn't trying to move away.

"I'm sorry..." he began again, "This is going to sound strange, but that tune you were humming just now… What is it?"

She looked away from him, down at the ground for a moment, thinking. When she spoke, her voice was incredibly soft and unobtrusive, "I don't remember exactly… It's just…"

She fell into a moment of uncomfortable silence, digging the ball of her right foot nervously into the ground.

Yuzuru suddenly felt like an immense fool. Here he was, in the middle of a busy street, having just grabbed a girl who was – for all intents and purposes – a complete stranger. All in order to ask her about the song she was humming? And why, because she resembled somebody he'd seen in a dream? No, it was ludicrous; there was a rational explanation for it, no way she was who he'd imagined she was. Her hair was wrong, for one thing – much too short. It should've been all the way down her back. And she was older than the girl he'd seen in his dreams. Not by much, but it really couldn't be her.

And the song? It could be one he'd heard long ago without realising it, or maybe overheard on the radio. It was catchy, and it stuck in his mind. This was all just coincidence.

One big conspiracy of happenstance.

Yuzuru, you idiot.

He sighed, brushing off his embarrassment as best he could, "I'm sorry. Were you waiting for somebody?"

She looked up at him again with those large golden orbs. Yuzuru felt something flutter deep down in the pit of his stomach, and he felt his unease return. There was still something incredibly familiar in those eyes, and it left him feeling troubled.

Coincidence… His inner voice reminded him, Don't read anything into it. She'll only think you're crazy.

"Yes." She said simply, "But I'm not sure-"

A train approaching the station cut her off with an indiscreet blare of its horn, threatening its impending arrival. Yuzuru's eyes went wide as he remembered that he was supposed to be on the platform by now, ready to get on. He'd miss the exam entirely if he missed that train.

"Sorry!" he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, then excused himself with as much dignity as he could muster, "I've got to go!"

As he turned and ran as quickly as he could towards the station the girl simply stood there and watch his hasty retreat. Even as he weaved through the ever thickening crowd, dodging left and right to avoid getting trampled, she didn't allow herself to lose sight of him until he ran through the doorway into the station, vanishing from her life as abruptly as he had entered it.

A moment of unsettled anxiety passed through her as she tried to think. Every day for as long as she could remember she'd been standing in that precise spot on the street, at that exact time of day, for reasons she couldn't entirely fathom. There was just this lingering feeling, this near overwhelming sense of necessity which she was unable to resist. Be there.it told her. It was of the utmost importance, and she'd always obliged.

Today was the first time that anybody had actually stopped to speak to her. It was the first time anybody besides herself had recognised the song she was humming – a song that, as far as she was aware, had only ever come to her from the deepest corners of her dreams.

It was there, only in that one bittersweet recurrence that haunted her nightly sojourn into unconsciousness. Or so she'd thought.

My Song.

That boy… He had known it. Maybe there was more he knew, more that he could tell her? If she could catch up to him then perhaps he'd be willing to explain it all to her. After all, he did bear a striking resemblance to-

No, there was no way that could be true. It just wasn't possible. But still, her curiosity was piqued. And that familiar, commanding inner voice which had always urged her to be there had changed its tune. Now, it told her, was the time to follow him. And as always, there was no way she was going to refuse.

Wherever it was that she was supposed to be right now seemed to fade away into pure insignificance. The new feeling that welled up within her left a strong need for answers, and she was more than willing to acquiesce. She had never refused it in the past.

Reseating the strap of her bag on her shoulder, she set off at a pace towards the station, holding her hat firmly in place atop her head with her free hand. Upon entering the station concourse she was greeted by the sight of a teeming mass of people coming and going about their business, and she realised with a fleeting moment of panic that she didn't know which platform she needed to find, let alone which train she needed to get on.

Her eyes happened upon the footbridge which connected the platform on the far side of the tracks to the one on which she was currently stood. The high ground would help her find him, surely. With a renewed resolve she made a dash for the stairway leading up onto the bridge, weaving her way through the opposing flock of commuters and scaling the stairs as quickly as she could.

The number of people on the crossing was thankfully fewer than down on the platforms below, and she didn't have to contend quite so vehemently as she made her way across to the half-way point. Taking a firm grasp of the upper rail of the bridge's enclosing safety fence and placing her foot firmly on the lower rung, she lifted herself up so that she could see over the edge and get a clear view of the entire station below.

Much to her dismay the heaving mass of people made it difficult for her to make out any particular individual from the crowd, let alone the orange-haired boy from before. No, she had to think logically about this – he was heading hurriedly for a train. There were currently only two trains stationed at the platforms, so if she was going to find him surely he'd be close to one of those?

One of the trains was a large, multi-carriage intercity service northbound to the nearest large city. For some reason that seemed to be the least likely candidate. Most of the people vying for position on that platform were smartly-dressed business folk heading off to work, and she was fairly sure that wasn't where the boy was going. He hadn't been dressed in a smart suit, and he certainly hadn't had a briefcase. He looked more like a student.

The second train, a three carriage local commuter service, seemed like the most sensible choice. Squinting down onto the platform she closely inspected the people alighting from and boarding the plain steel coaches. She had to hope that he wasn't already aboard, that she hadn't already missed him.

Her attention was drawn suddenly to a commotion amidst the churning mass of the crowd.

"Excuse me. Sorry. Can I squeeze through…?"

There he was, pushing his way urgently past anybody who happened to get in his way, hastily forcing his way through the crowd towards the smaller commuter train.

She didn't hesitate for an instant longer than she needed to, stepping back down onto the bridge and running to the stairs. She descended them two at a time, much to the warning and consternation of the people coming up in the opposite direction. Normally she wouldn't have been so rude, but she didn't have time to stop and apologise to the people she bumped into. She just couldn't afford any delay if she was going to make it to the train in time.

She lost sight of the boy the moment she was back down amongst the people on the concourse, but she still pushed on with determination towards the train. And there, through the briefest of partings in the crowd, she caught a clear glimpse of him stepping through the doors and boarding the rearmost carriage, his green shirt and orange hair unmistakable to her eyes.

"Excuse me." She requested quietly, forcing her way forwards.

The closer she got to the train the more clearly she could see. To her horror the doors began to slide shut, sealing with a mechanical whine and a pneumatic hiss. The engine's low idle rumble quickly increased in pitch to a loud roar as the train prepared to depart.

Reaching forwards urgently her fingers came into contact with the single-paned glass of the door, silently pleading for them to open. But, with a lurch, the train ignored her request and began to creep forwards and build up momentum.

"No…" she whimpered, keeping pace with the train, palm now knocking at the door with more urgency. Nobody heeded her silent plea, the train continuing to gain speed until it drew her into a fast-paced run. At last it accelerated beyond her, leaving the platform far behind as the tracks carried it forwards and away.

The girl struggled for a moment to catch her breath, leaning on her knees and drawing in air as deeply as she could.

"Not to worry, miss…" somebody from behind her spoke up. She turned to look, a tall, blue-haired porter standing there with a warm, kind smile on his face, "You can always catch the next one."

"No…" she panted softly, "It had to be that train."

Ignoring the porter further, she turned towards the station exit. She could only hope she'd have another chance.

She'd wait for the boy tomorrow.

-o-O-o-

Chapter 1: To Dream of an Angel