I wanted to make another post on flirting since it’s been a while. My style of flirting hasn’t really changed since I embodied it, but it has become a part of me. It’s my natural response to anything. And what’s more, I find myself still flirting with my girlfriend which is equally important. Even though I’m in a relationship, I flirt with my girlfriend as if I just met her. And she loves it. Start off by reading part I of flirting: It’s good to be a little difficult. This post will expand on the idea of “being difficult, challenging, and being absurd”

Every couple of weeks ThoughtTrain and I get a quick drink at MadHatter after work. Short, maybe an hour or so, but the bartender and I flirt incessantly. Yeah, she’s a good flirt to get more tips, but it doesn’t negate the flirting itself — just the motivation behind it. It started when we came in and I ordered water since I don’t drink alcohol. She scoffs at me and asks me why. I tell her that I don’t drink because I plan on becoming the next Mr. Olympian like Arnold Schwarzenegger. So we banter back and forth about my water-only lifestyle. I tell her that I’m going to be the worst regular customer she’ll ever have. The banter was insane.

A few weeks of this go by. Every time I walk in, she gives me that look and pours me a glass of water. We laugh about it. One time, though, ThoughtTrain and her are talking about one of the new beers on tap. She says it tastes really good, like lemonade. I tell her I’m intrigued and would like a taste. She’s shocked, but is more than happy to oblige, so she takes out a shot class and pours a few drops in. I try the beer and it is very good. I really liked it.

She has this big smile on her face and says, “I can tell you really like it. Do you want one? Are you actually going to get a beer?”

My response, “I do really like it. But I don’t want to give you the satisfaction that I bought a beer from you. I’ll have another glass of water”

She lost it and says, “No! I’m buying YOU this beer!” And she did.

People like a challenge, and girls are no different in this regard. That’s why banter is so much fun. It shows that you’re not putting her on a pedestal. That you aren’t easy and she can’t affect you because you’re holding strong at your core.

Another aspect of my style is that I’m simply absurd. I’ll say things that are just totally absurd, but keep a straight face and the story going as long as necessary.

Girl one time asked me where I was from. I answer this question all the time, typically with the truth, “Long Island — home of Billy Joel and 7 11s”…But I was getting bored and wanted to amuse myself. If you’re ever bored, this is a great technique. Amuse yourself by saying shit you wouldn’t normally ever say. I continued with, “…I don’t know actually. My mother was a princess and put me in a basket and sent me down a river when I was a baby.” I ran with this Moses theme the whole night and it was hilarious. Sometimes girls ask me what I do for a living and instead of saying the same old boring “software engineer”, I tell them I’m a male stripper — that it should be obvious, too.

Another thing I like to do is to get her to accuse me of something harmless (something I blatantly did), and deny everything. Can’t think of any examples off the top of my head right now other than giving my girlfriend a hickey. Instead of saying sorry and apologizing, I told her “It’s impossible that it was me. I have never given anyone a hickey before in my life and never will. I’m a consummate pro and a gentleman.” She loves it. You can do this with just about anything though.

It’s all in good fun, joking around. Never take yourself so seriously. She will see that you’re comfortable with yourself and in turn, she will feel comfortable being around you, which is the ultimate goal. When a girl is comfortable being around you, she will want to be around you more often and you have a potential date on your hands. Combine all of this with increased physical interaction (touching her elbow, hugging, grabbing her hand and saying ‘let’s get another drink at the bar’) and you might end up making out with her at the end of the night.

The flirting never ends, even when you’re in a relationship. My girlfriend was driving her car, saw me walking on the sidewalk totally randomly. She stops, rolls down her window. I walk up to it and say, “How much we talking here, sexy?” …”Get in”, she says, “we’ll negotiate.”