I got an email from Chipotle last week to celebrate my half-birthday with free tortilla chips and guacamole. I’m never one to turn down freebies, especially when it involves avocado, but this email hit me harder than an avocado stone because it reminded me, in writing, that I am only six months away from turning 27.

A quick Google search tells me that most 27 year olds should…

Accept your body (which is interesting because my biggest fear isn’t publicspeaking, but having the confidence to take a selfie with others) Watch every episode of Friends (at least 10 times, but this is definitelysomething I have unashamedly done) Realise that you have enough, you do enough, and that you are enough (outof everything that I have read, this one will take the most work…)

I’m absolutely fucking terrified because the older I get, the more I realise how difficult it is to cope with mental health. You may be thinking, “Mate, you’re still young” or “Let’s be real you have never had any serious worries being 26”. There’s also the saying that twenties are the best time of your life, which university definitely felt like for me. Careless bliss. But in the past few years of my life, I have been suffering from crippling self-esteem issues. It’s not something that I’m open about since: a) I don’t want to be treated like a sympathy case and b) everyone that I speak to thinks I am always positive, upbeat and optimistic.

I’m lucky in the sense that I have somewhat of a stable job. I have a comfortable position in the TV industry, despite Netflix’s ongoing quest for world domination. Also, as a tech company, Netflix would probably decimate my job in place of an algorithm, which does my job 1000 times better when it comes to promoting the latest TV shows and knowing what you want to watch. I adore my job but I’m self-aware enough to realise that automation is nipping at my heels. Not to mention that the past two companies I have worked for had redundancies every six or so months which I am fortunate enough to have avoided so far.

I’m putting in 110 percent, but I feel as if I’ve hit a wall in terms of progressing my career. I have had four jobs in the past six years, and most of those have been at the same level. I’m starting to realise that I’m not equipped for the modern day of work. I wish I could work at a company that feels like a California start-up, with collaborative open spaces, coffee machines, flexible schedules, being happy with my life and perhaps even feeling good enough to take selfies by the neon lit ping pong tables.

Most of my mates and my partner are working in sexy 21s​ t ​century jobs in digital marketing, software engineering/developer, product management and so on, which are all perfect for today’s digital world. They may be on the lower end of the ladder but at least they know what they want to do and are good at it. While it gives me joy