New Marvel Superhero ‘Cuckold’ Wears Name as a Badge

LOS ANGELES — In a press release this morning, Marvel Comics announced a new inclusive superhero named Cuckold, a 32-year-old man who can only shoot laserbeams at enemies if someone is “fucking his wife.”

The superhero is a normal man who gained his superpowers when he was exposed to radioactive fetish porn vapors in a government research facility.

“We really wanted to inspire the next generation of superhero fans,” said creator Marty Barlow. “The thing about Cuckold is that he wears his name and abilities as a badge of honor. Most people think ‘cuckold, that’s a derogatory term.’ Not for Cuck. The way he sees it, he can only use his powers for good: saving the world and letting another man give his wife an orgasm.”

In addition to representing the sexual humiliaition fetish in comic books for the first time, Cuckold will also raise awareness via his catchphrase, “I am a sniveling little worm that is not fit to reproduce,” which he often yells while eviscerating enemies, and while watching his wife get just absolutely fucking railed by strangers.

Fans are extremely enthusiastic about the groundbreaking new character.

“As a lifelong cuck and Marvel fan, I’ve been waiting to see a character like myself in the pages of my comic books for years,” said fan Richard Strauss. “There have been hints in the past about cuckold fantasies in X-Men’s Wolverine, Cyclops and Jean Grey storylines, but it’s always been such a disappointment to have to read between the lines. I’m proud of Marvel for finally making a character like me who wears his sexual proclivities on his sleeve.”

Marvel later announced Cuckold’s sidekick, a sex-positive superhero named Assplay.

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