27 February 2003 | indycysive

Expect This Cradle Not 2 Rock

Joel Silver and Andrzej Bartkowiak once again brings us another Rap Star/Martial Artist collaboration movie in which I like to call, "Hip-Hop Chopsocky" Flicks. I enjoyed both Romeo Must Die and Exit Wounds, however I'm getting the feeling that Silver and Bartkowiak are using a Xerox copy machine to develop the next action flick. Expect everything you saw in the first two films to appear in Cradle 2 The Grave.



Yes, expect all the action sequences to drown the whole plot of the film. Yes, expect DMX to have his hip-hop soundtrack blasting in most of the action scene. Yes, expect the two protaganist of the story to reluctantly get along with each other and then later on to share a common bond at the end of the movie. Yes, expect Jet Li to have the same facial expression throughout the whole film and no more than 10 lines in the movie. Yes, expect the same fat black guy from Kangaroo Jack to be back as the black comic element. Yes, expect Tom Arnold, a guy who was once married to a woman who looked like Kangaroo Jack, to be back as other white comic element of the film. Yes, expect a night club scene and every prop seen in a Hype William music video (i.e. Jacuzzi, champagne, and big booty bitches.) Yes, expect the Rap Star actor do some martial arts of his own. (And I'd like to say to DMX, "Yo dog, stick to rappin', cuz the karate thang ain't you. You got those thin wires making you look good.") And yes, expect Jet Li to fight with his counterpart nemesis, in a ring of fire at the end of the movie. Where the hell is Johnny Cash when you need him!



And as for Jet Li, I do respect him as a martial artist but since he's been making movies in US, his skill have been more half-assed compared to what he did in his Hong Kong Flicks. The scene where Jet fights in a cage match was the only highlight of the film. However, only to be distracted with DMX's action sequences, with camera going from one scene to the other. For me, I'd rather see Jet Li do his stuff than to see DMX being pursued by cops. I live near Oakland and I see that sh*t almost every day.



Overall, I would suggest to save your money and watch Romeo Must Die and Exit Wounds at the same time. Or if you don't care what I say...Hell, go spend the $9.00! But remember "the Cradle" is robbing you!