July

Rio Ferdinand belatedly announces his retirement from football. “I had intended to do it at the end of the season,” he says. “But I’ve got so much on in my life, with my Twitter and my businesses and my little man, that it just slipped my mind. I was in the gym the other day and suddenly remembered I was supposed to be retiring.” Meanwhile, after buying Falcao and Joao Moutinho, cash-rich Monaco make their most audacious signing yet. “I’m delighted to be bringing my own footballing vision to the principality,” says new manager Tony Pulis, who duly forks out €50 million in an audacious triple swoop for Jonathan Walters, Ryan Shawcross and Kenwyne Jones.