Always good to see some fresh faces at Record Store Day! Or at least shoppers who aren’t 50-year-old men with halitosis. But these young customers aren’t interested in getting into vinyl-collecting early in life. No, they came for one thing and one thing only: the exclusive My Chemical Romance picture disc and nothing else. They’ve been waiting since 5 AM so give it to them and get out of their way. They’d like two copies—one hang on their wall and one to put with the rest of their MCR collection. Neither will be played as they do not own a turntable.

Wait, that guy looking through the world music 45s... is that the actor from that Ben Stiller movie with Cameron Diaz? Uhh... Me, Myself, and Irene? No, that’s not it. What’s that movie called? Oh! Something About Mary. Yeah. Is that him? What’s his name, Matt Damon? No, not Matt Damon. Matt Dillon, that’s it. Is that Matt Dillon? Why would Matt Dillon be at a record store? ...Huh, yeah, says here on Google that he’s got a huge collection of Latin music. Well, that’s pretty cool. Seems like a nice guy. I’m gonna go talk to him. Yeah, I’m gonna go up to Matt Dillon and tell him I liked him in Me, Myself, and Irene and then casually ask him if he’s found anything good and we’ll hit it off. I wouldn’t be surprised if we became friends and started hanging out and going to record stores together. Maybe he’ll even bring Cameron Diaz once in a while. I wonder if he still keeps in touch with her and if she’s single.