LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

As the triple j Hottest 100 music countdown continues to break records for voter numbers, listeners all across Australia tuned in today to hear the democratically selected best songs of 2019.



While the lighthearted music countdown may be the most democratic process taking place in the nation, a local moustache attached to the face of Betoota resident Domonic James (32) has expressed extreme disdain at the announcement of the year’s number one track.



“Seriously guys?” asked the moustache via a small bristly mouth while it’s owner could do nothing but stand in shocked embarrassment.



“This shouldn’t have been number 1. I can’t believe this.”



Witnesses report seeing the moustache lead James around the BBQ area where people were dancing to the winning song and expressing his disapproval for a song he can somehow hear without having ears.



“How can you like this? It’s overrated. Waste of a day.”



The moustache then twirled itself before leading the human it occupied inside for a glass of naturally carbonated rosé.

