Perfectly bearded men are wearing flannels and/or cable knit cardigans, ladies are donning autumn hues, you've planned an apple picking adventure with your boyfriend... it's officially Pumpkin Spice Season, pumpkinf*ckers. And no store does it better than Trader Joe's.

We dispatched intern Sandra Song out to the Trader Joe's on Court Street in Brooklyn this morning to document every single pumpkin item they're offering right now. Her efforts were quickly thwarted, however, as an overachieving employee spotted her SLR camera and asked her to stop taking photos. What are you hiding Trader Joe's? 34 pumpkin-flavored items, that's what.

After a quick reprimand from the manager, we reconvened and decided on a Plan B: take the F to Union Square and covertly shoot the rest of the pumpkin items with an iPhone at the Trader Joe's there. Mission: pumpkomplished.

Here are the 35 pumpkin items on the shelves at Trader Joe's that we spotted today, plus a few more that were either sold out or hiding from us.

1. Real pumpkins (classy move!)

2. Pecan Pumpkin Instant Oatmeal (with "rich pumpkin flavor")

3. Pumpkin soup

4. Pumpkin bar baking mix

5. Pumpkin pancake and waffle mix

6. Harvest Blend salad with pumpkin seeds, pumpkin cornbread croutons, and pumpkin vinaigrette

7. Pumpkin kringle

8. Pumpkin cream cheese muffins

9. Pumpkin bagels

10. Mini ginger pumpkin ice cream mouthfuls

11. Pumpkin pie mochi ice cream

12. Pumpkin ice cream

13. Pumpkin bread pudding

14. Pumpkin pie

15. Pumpkin macarons

16. Mini pumpkin pie

17. Pumpkin cheesecake

18. Pumpkin croissants

19. Pumpkin waffles

20. Pumpkin cornbread croutons

21. Pumpkin Joe-Joe's cookies

22. Pumpkin biscotti

23. Pumpkin spice chai

24. Pumpkin cornbread mix

25. Pumpkin seed brittle

26. Pumpkin butter

27. Organic pumpkin (in a can)

28. Pumpkin spice coffee

29. Pumpkin spice salted caramels

30. Iced pumpkin scone cookies

31. Pumpkin O's cereal

32. This Pumpkin Walks Into A Bar cereal bars

33. Organic frosted pumpkin toaster pastries

34. Country pumpkin spice granola cereal

35. Pumpkin cranberry crisps

Not pictured:

36. Pumpkin butter

37. Pumpkin cream cheese

38. Pumpkin beer

39. Pumpkin seeds

40. Pumpkin ravioli

41. Pumpkin scone mix

42. Pumpkin dog treats

43. Pumpkin yogurt

44. Pumpkin spice tea

Additional reporting and pumpkin product intel from Sandra Song.