If your dog was a person would you want him as a housemate? I’ve thought about this a bit, mainly because I don’t get out much and secondly because I think our dog is a little odd. I doubt he would fit it very well as a human housemate, after you get over the nude sun-baking in the backyard and his vigorous and determined ability to clean his genitals in front of guests I just doubt he is has the ability to know what normal social interaction is.

In case Storm is reading this post i need to clarify what is considered acceptable behaviour for a dog and for a human.

The first one is quite simple, when someone knocks on the door of our house and enters its not socially acceptable to run around the person as fast as possible while barking and trying to jump up onto them. Those humans you live with have told you multiple times that your behaviour is not considered normal, and even if they didn’t the body language of the victim at the front door should be a big enough hint,

The exact same theory applies when another dog comes inside our house. Our neighbour has a wonderful Pomeranian named Lily. If Lily was a human she would be the sort of person you’d love as a housemate. She would be polite, clean up after herself, wouldn’t leave dirty dishes in the sink and wouldn’t build a meth-lab in the spare room. Whenever Lily comes over for a visit with her human, Storm turns into a crazy psychopath and is incapable of having any balanced thoughts for about fifteen minutes until he has calmed down and begins to see reason. He does clam down after a while but by this point Lily has judged him on his behaviour and has taken adequate actions to put some distance between the two.

If they were both humans sharing a house it would make an interesting sitcom.

Storm needs to know what the right and wrong thing is do whenever visiting the beach. I’d have though it was obvious how to behave at the beach but for some reason Storm didn’t get the message so his visits are always followed by apologies from us. I suppose eating seaweed won’t hurt him, at best you could say it’s organic and good for his coat but it’s the anger he shows whIle ripping it from the shallow water is unexplainable. What did the seaweed do to him to get such a reaction? I’ve never seen a horror movie based around seaweed attacking dogs, and even if there was Storm watches very little television so I doubt he’s seen it.

He has terrible bladder control whenever he’s at the beach. Maybe it’s the saltwater or simply the excitement of seeing so much water and friendly dogs, I don’t need to tell you the details but let’s just say in certain he has a completely different digestive system that he saves up for his beach visits.

Luckily it’s a dog beach so we don’t get any angry swimmers who find an unfortunate addition to the water when they swim past Storm, and we are even luckier we don’t have a swimming pool at home.

The biggest reason Storm would make a horrible housemate is because he doesn’t have a job so couldn’t pay the rent. Even if someone made the bizarre choice to give him a job there is absolutely no chance he’d turn up for work on a regular basis. It’s his narcolepsy that would make him fail.

If you have a dog you’d understand that dogs can go from high speed racing to deep sleep within a few seconds. Storm would fall asleep at his desk or have a quick nap while driving his bus. No matter what job he had, it wouldn’t last as he really likes sleeping. I get jealous sometime when I walk into the house after work and see him sleeping soundly in the corner.

Maybe we can swap and he can have my job? His life sounds a lot better and less complicated. I could do it, retrieving tennis balls is easy, I could sleep in every day and annoy the neighbours dog.

However I would shower, there are some things Storm does that I never would.