STUDENTS,QUIET PLEASE, M'KAY. AS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW, TODAY ISCANADA APPRECIATION DAY. OH, GOD,I'M BORED ALREADY ! M'KAY, SO WE'VE BEEN ASKEDTO SHOW YOU A VIDEO FROM THEWORLD CANADIAN BUREAU. START THE TAPE PLEASE. Hello, I am Stephen Abootman, pwesident of theWorld Canadian Bureau. Do you ever stop to think how important Canadais to the world ? Right now, I would like allstudents of Canadian descent in this schoolto stand up. Just look at all these fineCanadians in your school. See howdiverse they are. When you think of Canada, what's the one thing thatcomes to mind ? GAYNESS ! ( all laughing ) That's right-- spirit. What is it that makesCanada so important ? NOTHING. ( all laughing harder )

FOR TOO LONG WE HAVE BEENPOOSHED AROUND AND RIDICULED ! YESTERDAY WAS SUPPOSEDTO BE A DAY OF APPRECIATIONAND UNDERSTANDING. INSTEAD, CANADA APPRECIATION DAYWAS MOCKED WORLDWIDE ! ( all jabbering ) NOBODY TAKES US CANADIANSSERIOUSLY ! IT'S LIKE THE WORLD DON'TRESPECT CANADA AT ALL, EH ?! THAT'S RIGHT. AND I THINK IT'S TIMEFOR CANADA TO SHOW THE WORLD JUST HOW BAD THINGS WOULD BEWITHOUT IT ! TOGETHER WE CANSEND A MESSAGE. IT'S TIME FOR CANADATO STRIKE ! DID YOU SAY STRIKE ? YES, EVERY CANADIANJOIN ME ! JOIN TOGETHER ! CANADA ON STRIKE ! CANADA ON STRIKE ! ♪ CANADA ♪ CANADAA ♪ CANADAAA ♪ CANADAAAA ♪ CANADA ON STRIKE ♪ CANADA SAYSNO MORE ♪ ♪ NO MORE NEGLECTWE WANT RESPECT ♪ ♪ THAT'S WHATWE'RE STRIKING FOR ♪ ♪ ALL YOU BUREAUCRATSAND CORPORATE CATS ♪ ♪ CAN ALLJUST TAKE A HIKE ♪ ♪ IT'S CANADA ♪ ON STRIKE ♪ CANADA ON STRIKE ♪ FROM VANCOUVERTO ST. JOHNS ♪ ♪ WE RAISE OURMIDDLE FINGERS ♪ ♪ FOR YOU ALL TOSIT UPON ♪ ♪ AND WITH OURFINGERS UP YOUR ASS ♪ ♪ YOU WON'T BEVERY PSYCHED ♪ ♪ IT'S CANADA ♪ ON STRIKE ♪ AND WE WILL NOTBOW OR BUDGE ♪ ♪ OUR RESOLVE IS STRONG ♪ WE EVEN TOOKTHREE HOURS ♪ ♪ TO REHEARSETHIS STRIKING SONG ♪ ♪ CANADA ON STRIKE ♪ NO MATTERWHERE YOU ARE ♪ ♪ IF YOU ARE CANADIAN ♪ THEN YOU'VE GOT TODO YOUR PART ♪ ♪ MARCH OUTOF THE HALLS ♪ THAT'S RIGHT, SUCK MYCANADIAN BALLS. ♪ IT'S CANADA ♪ ON STRIKE ♪ IT'S CANADA ♪ CANADA CANADA ♪ ON STRIKE ♪ ( man giggling ) UH, WHEN YOU SAY"CANADA IS ON STRIKE,"

WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU MEAN ? WHAT DO YOUTHINK IT MEANS ?! WE'RE STRIKING, BUDDY ! NO MORE, THAT'S IT,UNTIL WE GET WHAT WE WANT ! WHO EXACTLY ARE YOU TOAUTHORIZE THIS STRIKE ? I AM STEPHEN ABOOTMAN,LEADER OF THE W.G.A. THE W.G.A. ? YES, THE WORLDCANADIAN BUREAU. WHAT EXACTLYDOES CANADA WANT ? WE WANT MORE MONEY. YEAH, MORE MONEY. MORE MONEY FROM WHERE ? JUST MORE MONEY,YOU KNOW ? CANADA DOESN'TGET ENOUGH MONEY ! OTHER COUNTRIES HAVELOTS OF MONEY ! WE WANT-- WE WANTSOME OF THAT MONEY ! HOW ABOUT THE INTERNET ? THE INTERNETMAKES LOTS OF MONEY ! SO GIVE US SOME OFTHAT MONEY ! YEAH, GIVE USINTERNET MONEY ! MR. ABOOTMAN, YOU SEEM TO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW GLOBALECONOMICS WORKS. I THINK THAT-- DON'T GIVE ME THATFAT-CAT FANCY LIP-WIGGLING ! ARE YOU GONNA GIVE CANADAMORE MONEY OR NOT ?! I'M AFRAID WE CAN'T. THEN YOU LEAVECANADA NO CHOICE. THE STRIKE SHALLCONTINUE !

"HONK IF YOUSUPPORT CANADA." HEY, HONEY, WATCH THIS. ( horn honking ) OH, WE'RE SUPPORTINGUNIONS ! THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE A VERYPROGRESSIVE COUPLE. YES !( horn honking ) OH, THAT'S FUN ! WELL, WE'VE DONE OURGOOD DEED FOR THE WEEK ! I THINK NOW I CANMAKE LOVE TO YOUR ANUS WITHOUT MAKING GOD ANGRY. OH, REALLY ?GOODY !

GUYS, I'M REALLYWORRIED ABOUT MY BROTHER. WE DON'T CARE.( burping ) YOU SHOULD CARE ! THIS STRIKE AFFECTSEVERYBODY, FAT ASS ! SHH, SHH,IT'S ON !YIPPIE ! ( announcer )It's the Terranceand Phillip Show. Today's episode:"I Fart Huckabees." AW, THIS ONE AGAIN ! GOD, THEY'VE REPLAYED THISONE LIKE 80 TIMES NOW ! SAY, PHILLIP, I JUSTBOUGHT THIS NEW HYBRID CAR. OH, DOES IT RUNON ELECTRICITY ? ( all )NO, IT USES NATURAL GAS. ( blowing raspberry ) ( laughing ) natural gas ! HUH, IT SOMEHOWLOSES ITS PUNCH AFTER MULTIPLE VIEWINGS. GOD DAMN IT, WHEN ARETHEY GONNA AIR NEW TERRANCEAND PHILLIP SHOWS ? THERE AREN'T GONNA BE NEWSHOWS, DON'T YOU GET IT ? TERRANCE AND PHILLIPARE CANADIAN. WE HAVE TO GETCANADA TO END THIS STRIKE ! IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. WE CAN JUST WATCHAMERICAN COMEDY. You think that's bad ? REMEMBER THE TIMEI SANG "LA CUCARACHA" FOR PAUL McCARTNEY ? NO, NO ! WE ARE NOTRESORTING TO THAT !

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, CANADA DESERVES MORE...MONEY ! ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, CANADA DESERVES MORE...MONEY ! LOOK, BUDDY, ME AND PHILLIPNEED TO GO HOME FOR A BIT. GO HOME ? YOU CAN'T LEAVETHE PICKET LINE ! BUT THIS IS TAKING TOO LONGAND PHILLIP IS DIABETIC ! LOOK, GUY, WE ALL HAVE TOSTAY STRONG ! IF YOU DON'T STANDWITH YOUR FELLOW CANADIANS, THEN YOU ARE A RAT. DON'T CALL MEA RAT, BUDDY ! I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY,FRIEND ! HE'S NOT YOURFRIEND, GUY ! I'M NOT YOUR GUY,BUDDY ! HE'S NOT YOUR BUDDY,FRIEND ! I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND,GUY ! DON'T YOU TWOUNDERSTAND ANYTHING ? YOU THINK STRIKINGIS A JOKE ?! YOU THINK IT'SSOMETHING TO RIDICULE ?! YEAH, YOU THINKTHIS IS FUNNY ? DON'T YOU SEE THATWE HAVE TO STAND TOGETHER OR ELSE WE ARE NOTHING. STEPHEN, STEPHEN ! A CALL CAME IN FROMTHE UNITED STATES ! THEY WANT TO TALK TO YOUABOOT ENDING THE STRIKE ! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ! I TOLD YOU WE'D GET TOTHEM SOONER OR LATER ! ( all jabbering ) ALL RIGHT, SHH, SHH !QUIET, EVERYONE ! LET ME HANDLE THIS... YES, THIS IS STEPHEN ABOOTMAN,HEAD OF THE W.G.A. UH, HI. WE WANT YOU TOEND THE STRIKE. OH, YOU DO, HUH ?! THEY'VE HAD ENOUGH. THEY WANT US TOEND THE STRIKE ! ALL RIGHT !WE DID IT !HOORAY !WE SURE DID ! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,SHH, SHH, SHH, QUIET, QUIET. LET ME DEAL WITH THIS. ALL RIGHT, WE'REPREPARED TO END THE STRIKE IF YOU'RE AGREEING THAT WESHOULD HAVE MORE MONEY. WE TOTALLY THINKYOU SHOULD HAVE MORE MONEY. WE GOT 'EM !WE DID IT ! OH, BOY !THE STRIKE IS OVER !I'M SO RELIEVED !WE DID IT, GREAT JOB ! ALL RIGHT, HOW MUCHARE YOU GONNA GIVE US ? HUH ? WELL, WE DON'T REALLY HAVETHAT MUCH MONEY. OH, NEGOTIATINGHARD BALL, ARE WE ? WHAT ABOUT ALL THATINTERNET MONEY ? THE INTERNET ? YOU LISTEN TO ME, FRIEND. YOU BETTER FIGURE OUTA WAY TO GET US OUR FAIR AMOUNT OF MONEY. AND UNTIL YOU COME BACK WITHA SOLID, FAIR NUMBER, I'M FINISHEDTALKING TO YOU, YOU SLIMY, CORPORATEDICKHEAD ! DON'T WORRY, DON'T WORRY,THIS IS HOW NEGOTIATING WORKS. THIS IS GOOD. WE'VE GOT 'EMBY THE BALLS. OH, GOOD !ALL RIGHT !ALL RIGHT !ALL RIGHT ! WHAT'D THEY SAY ? THEY SAID WE HAVE TOGIVE THEM MONEY THAT WE MAKEON THE INTERNET. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TOMAKE MONEY ON THE INTERNET ? WELL, HOW DOOTHER PEOPLE MAKE MONEY ONTHE INTERNET ? WE'D HAVE TO PUTSOMETHING UP ON THE INTERNET THAT EVERYONE WOULDFIND FASCINATING. WAIT, I'VE GOT IT. ( funky beat ) ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ YOU WANNA DO ITIN MY BUTT ♪ ♪ IN MY BUTT ♪ You wanna do itin my butt ♪ ♪ In my butt ♪ You wanna do itin my butt ♪ ♪ In my butt ♪ LET'S DO ITIN THE BUTT ♪ ♪ O-KAY ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ IF YOU HAVEA LITTLE FIGHT ♪ ♪ Don't you worry ♪ I won't bite ♪ NOT THAT HARD ♪ IF YOU WANT IT ♪ I'll giveyou power ♪ ♪ JUST BE GENTLE ♪ I'M DELICATELIKE A FLOWER ♪ ♪ Give it to me ♪ If you please ♪ Give it to me ♪ If you please OH, MY. ♪ WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ YOU WANNADO IT IN MY BUTT ♪ ♪ IN MY BUTT ♪ YOU WANNADO IT IN MY BUTT ♪ ♪ IN MY BUTT ♪ YOU WANNADO IT IN MY BUTT ♪ ♪ IN MY BUTT ♪ Let's do itin the butt ♪ ♪ O-kay ♪ THERE'S MOREPEOPLE VIEWING IT ! THIS IS GOING GREAT ! DON'T WORRY, IKE ! THE STRIKE'LLBE OVER SOON !

THEY SAID WE HAVE TOGIVE THEM MONEY THAT WE MAKEON THE INTERNET. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TOMAKE MONEY ON THE INTERNET ? WELL, HOW DOOTHER PEOPLE MAKE MONEY ONTHE INTERNET ? WE'D HAVE TO PUTSOMETHING UP ON THE INTERNET THAT EVERYONE WOULDFIND FASCINATING. WAIT, I'VE GOT IT. ( funky beat ) ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ YOU WANNA DO ITIN MY BUTT ♪ ♪ IN MY BUTT ♪ You wanna do itin my butt ♪ ♪ In my butt ♪ You wanna do itin my butt ♪ ♪ In my butt ♪ LET'S DO ITIN THE BUTT ♪ ♪ O-KAY ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ IF YOU HAVEA LITTLE FIGHT ♪ ♪ Don't you worry ♪ I won't bite ♪ NOT THAT HARD ♪ IF YOU WANT IT ♪ I'll giveyou power ♪ ♪ JUST BE GENTLE ♪ I'M DELICATELIKE A FLOWER ♪ ♪ Give it to me ♪ If you please ♪ Give it to me ♪ If you please OH, MY. ♪ WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ YOU WANNADO IT IN MY BUTT ♪ ♪ IN MY BUTT ♪ YOU WANNADO IT IN MY BUTT ♪ ♪ IN MY BUTT ♪ YOU WANNADO IT IN MY BUTT ♪ ♪ IN MY BUTT ♪ Let's do itin the butt ♪ ♪ O-kay ♪ THERE'S MOREPEOPLE VIEWING IT ! THIS IS GOING GREAT ! DON'T WORRY, IKE ! THE STRIKE'LLBE OVER SOON !

♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ YOU WANNA DO ITIN MY BUTT ♪ ♪ IN MY BUTT ♪ You wanna do itin my butt ♪ ♪ In my butt ♪ You wanna do itin my butt ♪ ♪ In my butt ♪ LET'S DO ITIN THE BUTT ♪ ♪ O-KAY ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ IF YOU HAVEA LITTLE FIGHT ♪ ♪ Don't you worry ♪ I won't bite ♪ NOT THAT HARD ♪ IF YOU WANT IT ♪ I'll giveyou power ♪ ♪ JUST BE GENTLE ♪ I'M DELICATELIKE A FLOWER ♪ ♪ Give it to me ♪ If you please ♪ Give it to me ♪ If you please OH, MY. ♪ WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ I SAIDWHAT WHAT ♪ ♪ IN THE BUTT ♪ YOU WANNADO IT IN MY BUTT ♪ ♪ IN MY BUTT ♪ YOU WANNADO IT IN MY BUTT ♪ ♪ IN MY BUTT ♪ YOU WANNADO IT IN MY BUTT ♪ ♪ IN MY BUTT ♪ Let's do itin the butt ♪ ♪ O-kay ♪ THERE'S MOREPEOPLE VIEWING IT ! THIS IS GOING GREAT !

( reporter )And in other world news, the leader of Japan todayis calling for an increase inmilitary spending. HOW COME THEY HAVEN'TMENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT US ? WHEN ARE THEY GONNA GETTO THE STRIKE ? DON'T WORRY,THE STRIKE IS BIG NEWS. I'M SURE IT'LL BE ONE OFTHE TOP STORIES. IN OTHER NEWS TONIGHT,IT'S THE INTERNET VIDEO THAT HAS ALREADY SEEN OVERTEN MILLION VIEWS. A YOUNG,CONFUSED-LOOKING BOY DANCING AND SINGINGA SONG CALLED "WHAT WHATIN MY ASSHOLE." TOM, IN JUST ONE WEEKTHE VIDEO HAS BECOME THE MOST-WATCHEDTHING IN ALL OF AMERICA. THE BOY IN THE VIDEO, REFERRED TO BY MOST AS"THAT LITTLE GAY KID" HAS ALREADY BEEN ASKED TO APPEAR ON JIMMY KIMMELAND THE TODAY SHOW. GOD DAMN IT,THAT'S NOT NEWS ! WHAT ABOUT US ? LOOK, UH, STEPHEN...TERRANCE AND I WERE TALKING AND, WELL, IT'S STARTINGTO LOOK LIKE MAYBE WE'RE NOT GONNAWIN THIS THING, YOU KNOW ? WE'LL WIN ! WE JUST HAVE TOSTAY RESILIENT ! WELL, YEAH, BUT EVERYONEIS DYING OF STARVATION. YEAH, LET'S GIVE IT UP, GUY. DON'T CALL ME YOUR GUY ! I'M NOT YOUR GUY,FWIEND ! I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND,BUDDY ! I'M NOT YOURBUDDY, GUY ! WAIT, HERE IT IS ! TURN IT UP,WE'RE ON ! AND FINALLY TONIGHT,A NEW DEVELOPMENT IN THE CANADA STRIKE. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'TREMEMBER OR DON'T CARE, CANADA HAS BEENSTRIKING FOR MORE MONEY. YEAH !ALL RIGHT ! THERE IT IS ! SHH, I TOLD YOU,I TOLD YOU ! LISTEN, LET'-- SHH--LET'S-LET'S LISTEN. IN A SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS, IT NOW APPEARS THAT THOUSANDSOF PEOPLE FROM DENMARK ARE FLOODING INTOTHE UNITED STATES WITH HOPES OF TAKING THE PLACEOF THE STRIKING CANADIANS. WHAT ? DO YOU REALLY THINKYOU DANISH CAN REPLACETHE CANADIANS ? WELL, WHERE WE COME FROMIT'S PRETTY COLD TOO, YEAH ? WE LIKE HOCKEY AND NOBODY REALLY PAYSANY ATTENTION TO US. NOBODY KNOWSWHERE DENMARK IS. RIGHT, SO WHENYOU THINK ABOUT IT, WE'RE THE CANADIANSOF EUROPE. SCABS ! HOW COULD YOU ?

WE MADE A REALLY SUCCESSFULTHING ON THE INTERNET AND WE'D LIKE TOCOLLECT OUR MONEY. TAKE A NUMBER AND WAITWITH EVERYONE ELSE. MA'AM, PERHAPSYOU DON'T RECOGNIZE THE INTERNET SENSATION"LITTLE GAY KID" FROM "YOUTOOB." TAKE A NUMBER AND WAITWITH EVERYONE ELSE ! CHOCOLATE RAIN ! AGH ! HEY, I KNOW YOU. YOU'RE THE "WHAT WHATIN MY ASSHOLE" KID. "WHAT WHATIN THE BUTT," SIR. IT'S "TRON GUY." I SAW HIM ON"YOUTOOB." YEAH, SURE, ALL THE BIGGESTINTERNET STARS ARE HERE. YOU REMEMBER,OF COURSE, NUMA NUMA ? ♪ MY-A-HI ♪ MY-A-HU ♪ MY-A-HA ♪ MI-A-HA-HA ♪ AND THE "STAR WARS KID" ? AND THE INTERNET SENSATION,"CUTE SNEEZING PANDA." ACHOO ! AND THERE'S"DRAMATIC-LOOK GOPHER." WOW, I'VE SEEN ALL YOU GUYSON THE INTERNET ! SO HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVESEEN YOUR INTERNET VIDEO ? UGH, A FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND. HA ! MERE PEANUTS. "CHOCOLATE RAIN" HAS DONEGANGBUSTERS. THEORETICALLY,I'M A MILLIONAIRE. DUDE, SCREW YOU. YOUR INTERNET THINGIS SO LAST YEAR. LEAVE "CHOCOLATE RAIN"GUY ALONE ! LEAVE HIM ALONE ! I'M SERIOUS ! ( cell phone ringing ) EXCUSE ME. HELLO ? YOU GREEDY,CORPORATE FAT CAT. YOU SAID YOU WOULDGET US MONEY. WE'RE WORKING ON IT. YOU'RE STALLING BECAUSEYOU THINK I'LL GIVE UP. YOU KNOW THAT MOSTCANADIANS ARE TALKING ABOUT GIVING UP THE STRIKEALREADY. YOU'VE GOT ME OVERA BARREL AND YOU KNOW IT ! SIR, WE'RE DOINGEVERYTHING WE CAN ! YOU WANT ME TOSAY IT AGAIN ? YOU'VE GOT ME OVERA BARREL. THERE, YOU HAPPY ? YOU'VE GOT MEBENT OVER A BARREL WITH MY TENDER ASS JUSTWAITING TO BE PULVERIZED BY YOUR THRUSTINGMANHOOD ! DO YOU REALIZE HOWSTUPID I'M GOING TO LOOK IF I CALL OFF THE STRIKE AFTER STARTINGALL THIS ? I WON'T DO IT,YOU HEAR ME, GUY ? YOU'RE WRONG ! NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I WILL NEVERCALL OFF THIS STRIKE. EVEN IF IT MEANSWE ALL DIE. WE DON'TWANT YOU TO DIE. THEN YOU BETTER HURRY. WE DON'T HAVEMUCH LONGER. THE BLOODWILL BE ON YOUR HANDS.

CAN WE COLLECT OUR INTERNETMONEY IN FRONT OF YOU PLEASE ? I DON'T THINK SO. NOTHING TAKES PRIORITYOVER "CHOCOLATE RAIN." OH, HERE HE GOESWITH THE EGO AGAIN. WHO CROWNED YOU THE TOPINTERNET STAR ? I DID, WHEN I BECAME BIGGERTHAN ALL YOU BITCHES. OH, PLEASE ! "LAUGHING BABY" HAD FOUR TIMESAS MANY VIEWS AS YOU ! ( laughing ) YOU BETTER SHUCK YOUR F--KINGMOUTH, "LAUGHING BABY." DID YOU ALL FORGET ABOUT"AFRO NINJA" ? MY INTERNET THINGWAS BIGGER THAN ANYBODY'S. I MADE OVER 100 MILLIONTHEORETICAL DOLLARS ! WELL, "SNEEZING PANDA" ISTHEORETICALLY WORTH BILLIONS ! MOTHERF--KING DIE ? NO !ARGH ! HAA !AGGH ! ( grunting ) HI-YAH ! ( laughing ) HEY, FORGET IT,WE'LL WAIT OUR TURN ! HI-YAH ! HARGH, EYAAAAA ! ♪ MY-A-HI ♪ MY-A-HU ♪ MY-A-HA-- ♪ LEAVE "TRON GUY" ALONE ! LEAVE HIM ALONE ! ( laughing ) AGHGHGHGH ! GET READY FOR SOMECHOCOLATE PAIN, BITCH. AHGHGHGGHGH ! YAH ! LEAVE THE PANDA ALONE ! LEAVE HER ALONE !I'M SERIOUS ! AHGHGHGHGHH ! UGHGHGH ! AHGHGHGHGHGHGH ! THOUGHT I FORGOTABOUT YOU, GOPHER ? UGH, MY BRAINS... ( gunshot ) SWEET, I THINK WE'RENEXT IN LINE NOW.

STEPHEN, STEPHEN,THEY'RE HERE ! THEY'VE COMETO NEGOTIATE ! WHAT ?YOU MEAN IT ? OKAY, WE DID IT. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ? WE'RE THE ONES YOU TOLDTO GO GET INTERNET MONEY. HERE, WE MADE TEN MILLIONTHEORETICAL DOLLARS. IT'S ALL FOR YOU. THEORETICAL DOLLARS ? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TODO WITH THAT ? YOU LITTLE TIME-WASTERS ! HEY, WE WORKEDREALLY HARD TO GET THIS THEORETICAL MONEY. YEAH, EVERYONE THINKSI'M A HOMO NOW ! YOU ARE A HOMO,BUTTERS. DUDE, WILL YOU JUSTEND THIS THING NOW ? MY LITTLE BROTHERIS GONNA DIE ! NO, I'M NOT GONNALOOK LIKE AN IDIOT ! IF I F--KED UP AND LEDEVERYONE ASTRAY, THE LAST THING I'MGONNA DO IS ADMIT IT ! ( phone ringing ) YES, THIS ISTHE HEAD OF THE W.G.A. THE WORLD CANADIAN BUREAU. AH, MR. ABOOTMAN, IT'S THE GLOBAL WORLDSUMMIT LEADERS. WE WANT TO TALKTO YOU ABOUT THE STRIKE. YOU-YOU DO ? YOU WANT TO NEGOTIATE ? NO, ACTUALLY,WE WERE JUST WONDERING IF WHEN YOU'RE ALL DEAD,WE CAN USE NEWFOUNDLAND FOR A NEWGLOBAL THEME PARK. ( sobbing hysterically ) HELLO ? WILL YOU JUST GIVE THISGUY SOMETHING, PLEASE ? EXCUSE ME ? HE JUST DOESN'T WANT TOLOOK LIKE AN IDIOT SO HE NEEDS EVERYONE TO THINKTHE STRIKE WAS FOR SOMETHING. Just give him anything. WELL, WE COULDGIVE CANADA SOME SMALLCONSOLATION PRIZE. IF THEY GIVE YOUSOMETHING SMALL, WILL YOU END THE STRIKE ? WILL THEY ACT LIKE THEY'REGIVING CANADA A LOT SO EVERYONE THINKSI DID A GOOD JOB ? CAN YOU ACT LIKE YOU'REGIVING HIM A LOT ? SURE, WHY NOT ?

SO HOW MUCHDID WE GET ? WELL, WE... WE DIDN'T GETEVERYTHING THAT WE WANTED BUT WE NEGOTIATED HARD AND WE GOT THESECOUPONS TO BENNIGAN'S AND FREE BUBBLEGUM FOREVERY CANADIAN ! ( weak fast applause ) ( survivors join in ) THESE COUPONSENTITLE EVERY CANADIAN TO A FREE MEAL AT BENNIGAN'S... WITH THE PURCHASEOF A MEAL AT EQUAL ORGREATER VALUE, OF COURSE. WE DID IT ! MY FRIENDS,THIS IS THE GREATEST VICTORY IN CANADIAN HISTORY. IKE... IKE ! IT'S OVER.IT'S OVER ? YEAH, HERE YOU GO.

ME TOO ! YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW,I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY. WE THOUGHT WE COULD MAKEMONEY ON THE INTERNET, BUT WHILE THE INTERNET IS NEW AND EXCITINGFOR CREATIVE PEOPLE IT HASN'T MATURED ASA DISTRIBUTION MECHANISM TO THE EXTENT THAT ONE SHOULDTRADE REAL AND IMMEDIATE OPPORTUNITIES FORINCOME FOR THE PROMISE OF FUTURE ON-LINE REVENUE. IT WILL BE A FEW YEARS BEFOREDIGITAL DISTRIBUTION OF MEDIA ON THE INTERNETCAN BE MONETIZED TO AN EXTENT THAT NECESSITATES CONTENTPRODUCERS TO FORGO THEIR FAIR VALUE INMORE TRADITIONAL MEDIA. YEAH.