Well it turns out there's a big difference between adopting moral platitudes from thousands of years ago, and trying out their sex advice. Some of the "tips" from the Kama Sutra seem to be setting people up for serious injury should they be performed incorrectly, or in some cases, if they're performed at all.

Vatsyayana's Kama Sutra was a strategy guide for the interaction of penises and vaginas in Gupta -era India (320 to 550 CE), meant to be read by sexual partners to enhance their lovemaking. That's around the same time the New Testament was made official, and people still take that book pretty seriously. What's the problem?

7 The Suspended Congress

"When a man supports himself against a wall, and the woman, sitting on his hands joined together and held underneath her, throws her arms round his neck, and putting her thighs alongside his waist, moves herself by her feet, which are touching the wall against which the man is leaning, it is called the 'suspended congress.'"

- Vatsyayana

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Oh it's just a little standing position. Sounds easy enough, right ladies? Well, to most men, the idea of having sex standing up is a slippery, pride-greased slope towards repeating the phrase, "I'm so sorry," over your naked heap of a body and his own rapidly blue-ing balls. It's not like he's going to say no. If he wants to have sex with you, he'd swear he could bench press twice his body weight right up until he passed out from the 500 lbs of barbell he just dropped on his own chest. You think he's going to tell you he doesn't have the strength to hold you up for more than five seconds?

Also, "Suspended Congress" is just about the most unappealing name for a position in the history of sex.

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Why it's Dangerous:

Anne Hooper warns in her Keep It Simple Kama Sutra Series that this position should not be attempted by men "that have even the inkling of a bad back!" (Exclamation-mark totally included.) Now there's a bit of medical history he's going to willingly volunteer when you've just asked him to turn you into a human sex swing.