ONE of Brisbane’s leading obstetricians has called on mothers to stop shaming each other and making each other feel guilty about the way they are raising their child.

Brisbane obstetrician and former president of the Australian Medical Association Queensland Dr Gino Pecoraro says motherhood has become “filled with shame and guilt’’.

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He sees mothers and mothers-to-be every day who feel guilty about the choices they are making.

“I am all for removing the guilt from having babies,’’ he said. “We seem hell bent on making women feel guilty about everything to do with having children, leaving it too late, how they conceive, how the baby comes out and then how you feed it, how much time you spend with it.

“It is the most natural thing in life, central to all of us, so why do we keep beating women up about what they do?’’ he asked.

Dr Pecoraro, who is the AMA’s federal spokesman for obstetrics and gynaecology, said this was particularly true for women who chose an elective caesarean over a natural birth, or women who formula fed instead of breast fed their babies.

“The last thing that a sleep-deprived woman with a baby who won’t breastfeed needs is to be told she won’t get help with formula feeding and that her baby is missing out on the benefits of breastfeeding,’’ he said.

Once the children were older, returning to work also created an “obscene amount of guilt’’.

“There is this superwoman myth that women have to work and continue working until the baby is born, otherwise be worried other working mums will think less of them,’’ he said.

“You have to do what is right for you, not push yourself to exhaustion to keep up with other working mums.’’

Mother Angela Hedley, 36, was unable to breastfeed her children Harrison, 7, Jessica, 5, and Charlotte, 2, due to a lactose intolerance. She said she felt guilty when she couldn’t do “the natural thing’’.

“With Harry I was a first-time tired mum, it was very exhausting and I assumed I was going to be perfect at breastfeeding,’’ she said.

“I felt guilty buying tinned stuff when I had milk, but they slept better and all were healthy. Lots of people look at you when you are feeding them in public with bottles.’’

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