Cardinals quarterback Carson Palmer can't wait to make up for lost time

Over the years, Carson Palmer has been misunderstood and misinterpreted.

By the end of 2014, he was feeling something entirely different.

He was just missed. His absence made his team sink and our hearts grow fonder. And for a veteran quarterback, it's been a helpless, terrible experience.

"I'm not looking forward to watching these (conference championship) games on Sunday at all," Palmer said. "You can't help but think about, 'What if?' And I can't help but feel that I let everybody down. That's the hardest part."

It's an absurd notion, feeling guilty over an injury sustained on a football field. But as Palmer rehabilitates his left knee for the second and last time, his emotions tell you how much he cares, what he thinks about the Cardinals and how close he feels to the NFL's Holy Grail.

It also illuminates a career full of bizarre misfortune. To wit:

In Dec. 2005, he signed a $110 million contract extension with the Bengals, one that would've expired after the 2014 season. Ten days later, he blew out his knee in the first series of a playoff game.

This past November, he signed a $50 million extension with the Cardinals, only to blow out the same knee 48 hours later. The timing seems like a practical joke.

Even stranger, Palmer had just conducted an interview about the ligament in his left knee, one that had come from a 44-year old Texas woman killed by a drunk driver.

Normally, organ and tissue donors remain anonymous. But in 2006, Palmer requested permission to contact the family, expressing his gratitude. After being traded to Arizona, he even sent along a Cardinals jersey. The woman's mother became one of Palmer's biggest fans, ecstatic that a part of her daughter was still alive, helping a star quarterback play football.

"When I first blew out my knee (with the Bengals), I woke up from surgery, not really realizing they had used a cadaver," Palmer said. "I did some research, found out where it came from and how she had passed. But I hadn't talked about that story in almost a decade.

"Then I got an interview request (from ESPN). I knocked it out on a Saturday. And 24 hours later, I blow out the ligament. It's just eerie."

Suddenly, the reporter's story took on a different tone, and so did the Cardinals' season.

This time around, Palmer did not use a cadaver ligament as a replacement, a procedure proven to last 10 years or less. Instead, he's opting for a graft from his own patella tendon, which is considered a sturdier alternative, lasting up to 15 years.

He says he feels great. His recovery is ahead of schedule. He started jogging last week, and is lifting heavy weights with his legs. The grind of rehab has become second nature, and not an issue for Palmer. If anything, he says he has to "push away" his excitement for the upcoming season, knowing there's still a long path ahead.

He also sounds much different than he did in the days after his injury, when he became emotional at his season-ending press conference, when he wasn't sure if he'd back with the Cardinals in 2015.

"Back then, I knew if Drew (Stanton) or Ryan (Lindley) or Logan (Thomas) took us to the Super Bowl, that I probably wouldn't be here," Palmer said. "I felt like I was hurt, and who knows where this was going? I had just signed a contract but hadn't really looked at it, and it was a very confusing time. I was thinking, 'I'm 34 years old. Are they going to keep me? Are they going to cut me? What does this mean?' There were just a lot of unknowns, and you can't let anything in this business surprise you.

"But I've been given so many assurances from the organization since. They want me to be the guy and pick up where I left off. So I don't feel that way anymore."

Palmer has had a wayward career. He's made a fortune, yet he has never won a playoff game. He doesn't care about branding or self-promotion, and he isn't bothered by perception or image. Somehow, he's liberated himself from external noise and pressure, which is one of his best traits on a football field.

When Palmer was traded to the Cardinals, many believed he ranked among the bottom half of NFL quarterbacks. Many thought he was aloof, detached, another overrated quarterback from USC. That's no longer the case. He's 16-6 since coming to Arizona, and while it's no consolation, he was also undefeated in 2014.

Along the way, he's shown the ability to make big plays in really big games, beating the Eagles and Seahawks on beautiful game-winning throws. He's shown the ability to calm an offense and lead a huddle. He's also found the first organization he can trust, which tells you a lot about where he's been (Cincinnati, Oakland) and how far the Cardinals have come.

His reputation has changed dramatically. His luck, however, has not.

"I've spent a number of years hoping and wanting to get somewhere, where an organization is willing to do whatever it takes to win because it's not like that everywhere," Palmer said. "And just when you feel like you're finally onto something, you blow out your knee and the season is over.

"The good thing is, we get another shot at it, and we're not going to change a bunch as a team. We're just a couple of pieces away. We're close. Everyone in the locker room knows it. Our fans know it. It's just a matter of putting those final pieces together."

Along with keeping Palmer's ligaments intact. After all, he's due for a break. The good kind.

Reach Bickley at 9 or 602-444-8253. Follow him at twitter.com/danbickley. Listen to "The Dan Bickley Show with Vince Marotta," weekdays from 12-2 p.m. on Arizona Sports 98.7 FM.