Arcanefrost Profile Blog Joined August 2010 Belgium 1256 Posts Last Edited: 2012-07-11 15:52:01 #1 Edit: You can help me decide on what to write now. Vote here and tell me what you would like to see next!



Hey guys, this is a series I've been working on for a while. Today I wrote the (for now) fourth and last part, so I decided to put it all together for you guys. Hope you enjoy it. It's very long but it won't dissappoint!



Part I:



As you all know the 1-1-1 build used to dominate the TvP match-up, killing top players left and right and causing a lot of rage amongst the community.



If you don't know the build because you have been doing a survival challenge on an island in the pacific, this is a memory trick terran players use: It's called 1-1-1 because you only need 3 buildings out of which you make 1 type of unit. So the first 1 stands for a lot of marines, the second for a lot of tanks and the third 1 for a lot of banshees. By using this trick you can severely reduce the risk of forgetting the build and making battlecruisers instead of banshees, use it!



The real question however is: Who invented this and why?



The suspects may shock you, but trust me, they all have their secret motivations.



Trust no one.



Dustin Browder









Why he did it:



Browder is the lead designer of the game, if anything happens he knows about it. But why would he do this? Doesn't he slightly prefer to play protoss? The answer is no, he deceived everyone into thinking that. Dustin tells everyone about how much fun he has with protoss, but when he gets home he grabs a big bucket of nachos which he happily consumes while 1-1-1ing poor protosses (you can actually eat nachos with 1 hand and 1-1-1 with the other)

His reasons go much further than this, as I was shocked to discover when I saw this picture.







Do you see it now? The ex-command and conquer designer didn't just invent the evil NOD leader Kane, he IS Kane. Sure the years have changed his face a little but there can be no doubt.

Let me ask you, did Kane use tanks? Yes. Did Kane use cheap infantery? Yes. Did Kane have a futuristic flying chopper? Yes. Dustin Browder invented the 1-1-1 not only for ladder points, but for world domination.



David Kim



The second suspect is none other than David Kim aka Dayvie, also a Blizzard employee.







Why he did it:



David Kim's reasons are well hidden, but the information is out there non the less. Let's take a look at his name "D.Kim". D is the 4th letter of the alphabet, K the 11th, I the 9th and M the 13th. If we add these numbers we get 4 + 9 + 11 + 13 = 37. There are 3 "1"'s in "1-1-1", and 1+1+1 is obviously 3, so we multiply 37 by 3. Guess what: 111. Your mind is kind of blown right now isn't it.

This is no longer about ladder points, there is yet again evidence about a worldwide conspiracy theory to command and conquer the world. Guess what game Dustin Browder worked on: Command and Conquer. Not to mention David Kim is Korean, which could mean an alliance between the fastest asians in the world and the people with the most guns in the world. But if such an alliance existed, how could they meet with their associates unnoticed? The question was answered when I turned on the tv, and the world championship of athletics was on. In South-Korea, which brings us to our next suspect.



Tyler Wasielski







Why he did it:



World championship of athletics in South Korea? An alliance between the USA and Korea for world domination? What on earth has that got to do with Tyler?



I didn't realize it until watching Tyler's announcement of some crazy challenge on his vlog. He specifically stated that he was going to run a marathon, so it isn't weird at all if he would go watch some athletics! The perfect place for a meeting between Dustin Browder, David Kim and Tyler. But why? For power, because it's never enough. He crushes face in SC for a living but still gets a little down. Why? Because his real goal is conquering the entire world. When Tyler does his challenge, he will ofcourse stream it. Billions of people will be watching him from all over the world. Everyone except Dustin Browder, David Kim and a special ops squad on a secret mission to infiltrate all the nuclear missile sites in the world. With the guards distracted by Tyler, they will obtain control swiftly and without any noticable resistance all the bombs in the world will be in Dustin's hands. It's a plan Kane himself could have invented, and this is the ultimate proof that Dustin is in fact Kane. As stated before Tyler started running again, and he did so before in college. My guess is that he was recruited then, and started a special training program focussing on battle command (by playing bw) and physical strength (by running). But why does he need running? Because at the last minute of his challenge, when everyone is even more clutched to the screen, Dustin and his entourage will proclaim themselves world leaders and launch the nukes. Tyler has exactly 1 minute and 11 seconds to run from his room to his bomb shelter he installed in his basement, that's right 1 minute and 11 seconds: 1-1-1. Tyler's challenge will take place on December 31st and it will end at midnight. The year will be 2012. Wasn't there some indian guy that said the world would end at what year was it? You know this one: 2012. But noone writes it like that, people write M-D-12. 1+2 = 3. 3 = 1 +1 +1. 1-1-1, it's everywhere.



Greg Fields.







Why he did it:



But does it end here? Sadly not. Yet another good man was lured by the dark side: Idra. Playing his role as a diplomat to get the Koreans on board beatifully, and then out of the blue going back to the USA to make the final arrangments for their plan: This wouldn't have worked without him. But why? Why did he do it?



Let's take a look at the following theory Idra had in mind before joining in:



1)I hate Protoss.

2)I hate Huk even more than other protosses.

3)I want to kill all protosses, including Huk!

4)Shoot! I need another step!

5)Huk dies.



This is it. The 1-1-1 is step 4! Idra joined the conspiracy, but at one condition: A nuke must be send to kill Huk specifically. Why do you think Idra is going to Korea with Huk again?



To watch him die.



Sounds like a plan an evil genius would invent. Guess what the name of the team is: Evil Geniusses.



As you might have noticed all EG members look alike. Why? They're doppelgangers to protect Idra.







Hey guys, this is a series I've been working on for a while. Today I wrote the (for now) fourth and last part, so I decided to put it all together for you guys. Hope you enjoy it. It's very long but it won't dissappoint!As you all know the 1-1-1 build used to dominate the TvP match-up, killing top players left and right and causing a lot of rage amongst the community.If you don't know the build because you have been doing a survival challenge on an island in the pacific, this is a memory trick terran players use: It's called 1-1-1 because you only need 3 buildings out of which you make 1 type of unit. So the first 1 stands for a lot of marines, the second for a lot of tanks and the third 1 for a lot of banshees. By using this trick you can severely reduce the risk of forgetting the build and making battlecruisers instead of banshees, use it!The real question however is: Who invented this and why?The suspects may shock you, but trust me, they all have their secret motivations.Browder is the lead designer of the game, if anything happens he knows about it. But why would he do this? Doesn't he slightly prefer to play protoss? The answer is no, he deceived everyone into thinking that. Dustin tells everyone about how much fun he has with protoss, but when he gets home he grabs a big bucket of nachos which he happily consumes while 1-1-1ing poor protosses (you can actually eat nachos with 1 hand and 1-1-1 with the other)His reasons go much further than this, as I was shocked to discover when I saw this picture.Do you see it now? The ex-command and conquer designer didn't just invent the evil NOD leader Kane, he IS Kane. Sure the years have changed his face a little but there can be no doubt.Let me ask you, did Kane use tanks? Yes. Did Kane use cheap infantery? Yes. Did Kane have a futuristic flying chopper? Yes. Dustin Browder invented the 1-1-1 not only for ladder points, but for world domination.The second suspect is none other than David Kim aka Dayvie, also a Blizzard employee.David Kim's reasons are well hidden, but the information is out there non the less. Let's take a look at his name "D.Kim". D is the 4th letter of the alphabet, K the 11th, I the 9th and M the 13th. If we add these numbers we get 4 + 9 + 11 + 13 = 37. There are 3 "1"'s in "1-1-1", and 1+1+1 is obviously 3, so we multiply 37 by 3. Guess what: 111. Your mind is kind of blown right now isn't it.This is no longer about ladder points, there is yet again evidence about a worldwide conspiracy theory to command and conquer the world. Guess what game Dustin Browder worked on:. Not to mention David Kim is Korean, which could mean an alliance between the fastest asians in the world and the people with the most guns in the world. But if such an alliance existed, how could they meet with their associates unnoticed? The question was answered when I turned on the tv, and the world championship of athletics was on. In South-Korea, which brings us to our next suspect.World championship of athletics in South Korea? An alliance between the USA and Korea for world domination? What on earth has that got to do with Tyler?I didn't realize it until watching Tyler's announcement of some crazy challenge on his vlog. He specifically stated that he was going to run a marathon, so it isn't weird at all if he would go watch some athletics! The perfect place for a meeting between Dustin Browder, David Kim and Tyler. But why? For power, because it's never enough. He crushes face in SC for a living but still gets a little down. Why? Because his real goal is conquering the entire world. When Tyler does his challenge, he will ofcourse stream it. Billions of people will be watching him from all over the world. Everyone except Dustin Browder, David Kim and a special ops squad on a secret mission to infiltrate all the nuclear missile sites in the world. With the guards distracted by Tyler, they will obtain control swiftly and without any noticable resistance all the bombs in the world will be in Dustin's hands. It's a plan Kane himself could have invented, and this is the ultimate proof that Dustin is in fact Kane. As stated before Tyler started running again, and he did so before in college. My guess is that he was recruited then, and started a special training program focussing on battle command (by playing bw) and physical strength (by running). But why does he need running? Because at the last minute of his challenge, when everyone is even more clutched to the screen, Dustin and his entourage will proclaim themselves world leaders and launch the nukes. Tyler has exactly 1 minute and 11 seconds to run from his room to his bomb shelter he installed in his basement, that's rightminute andseconds:. Tyler's challenge will take place on December 31st and it will end at midnight. The year will be 2012. Wasn't there some indian guy that said the world would end at what year was it? You know this one: 2012. But noone writes it like that, people write M-D-12. 1+2 = 3. 3 = 1 +1 +1.But does it end here? Sadly not. Yet another good man was lured by the dark side: Idra. Playing his role as a diplomat to get the Koreans on board beatifully, and then out of the blue going back to the USA to make the final arrangments for their plan: This wouldn't have worked without him. But why? Why did he do it?Let's take a look at the following theory Idra had in mind before joining in:1)I hate Protoss.2)I hate Huk even more than other protosses.3)I want to kill all protosses, including Huk!4)Shoot! I need another step!5)Huk dies.This is it. The 1-1-1 is step 4! Idra joined the conspiracy, but at one condition: A nuke must be send to kill Huk specifically. Why do you think Idra is going to Korea with Huk again?Sounds like a plan an evil genius would invent. Guess what the name of the team is: Evil Geniusses.As you might have noticed all EG members look alike. Why? They're doppelgangers to protect Idra.



No one can keep them apart.



The other missiles will take care of all the remaining protosses in the world. The 1-1-1 strategy is in fact a sadistic joke: It kills protosses ingame, but the REAL 1-1-1 will kill them in real-life.



The truth is hard to capture, but it is real. The only question that remains is: Who is the mastermind behind all this? We need to stop this, and we can only do this by taking away their leader.



So tell me, who do we move against?



Poll: Who is the mastermind?



Dustin Browder (335)

50%



Greg Fields (257)

38%



Tyler Wasielski (43)

6%



David Kim (34)

5%



669 total votes (335)50%(257)38%(43)6%(34)5%669 total votes Your vote: Who is the mastermind? (Vote): Dustin Browder

(Vote): David Kim

(Vote): Tyler Wasielski

(Vote): Greg Fields





Part II



5 Months later:



This wasn't supposed to happen...they should be dead...WHY ARE THEY NOT DEAD?!

This... this was not supposed to happen. All protosses should be dead!



Relax Greg. Our plan hes been put on hold for a couple of months. Some idiot on tl exposed us, but if we wait long enough it will look like a joke post. The ignorant fools, we shall bath in the rivers of their blood soon enough.



This is unacceptable. You said they would be dead Browder!



I did. And they will die. The time has come my friend. The game has begun, it's win or die now. The pieces already moved agaisnt huk. Our agent terious took him down swiftly. He even dropped a game to make sure no one would suspect a thing. It won't be long before Huk is dead, you want that right? Just hold on for a little longer Greg, it will all be over soon.



Huk will be dead? Yes... I can do that. I will hold on for a little longer. Just a couple of days...



Hello my friends. The above conversation was transmitted to me by my mole in the EG house. We were victoious a couple of months ago, but now they have returned. They're everywhere, they're angry, and they want all protosses dead. Scared? You should be.

I have established a resistance movement with the finest agents in the world. We will stop them. This is the plan.



Avenge: The Kingslayer







Think avenge is just some average korean Protoss? Think again. This is just a disguise.

He's like James Bond, but cooler more handsome and deadlier.



What Avenge really looks like:







Avenge on a magazine cover. Just because he can.









Recruited for 1 purpose: Stopping Idra from winning the GSL. How do you do that? You get in his brakcet and knock him out.

Want proof? Who do you think knocked Idra to code B? Avenge. What race does avenge play? Protoss, happens to be the race they want to exterminate. Coincidence? Of course not, I just explained it all.



"Yay, avenge is our hero he will save us all! "



Wrong. We cannot rely on one person. Even though avenge is ruggedly handsome, I didn't put all of my eggs in his basket.





EGincontrol: The Mole









If you want to defeat your enemy, you have to know his plan.

Incontrol is a world class spy. He infiltrated the EG training house, and lived amongst the breathing devils Idra, Machine and Demuslim ( demuslim is also brittish, imagine what a satanic creature that must be).



"But Arcie, why didn't you pick Huk? He's in Korea, and he's a lot smaller. He can hide everywhere."



First of all I don't want you to call me Arcie. Huk was a target, he couldn't be saved. Sorry bro, terious is a monster.



As you all probably read a picture of incontrol ended up on a porn site.







What's up with that? I'll tell you: it's a heroic tale of brave incontrol who fought the 111 conspiracy. This is what happened that day.



Geoff, EG Training House Arizona USA 2:23 AM



"Arcane this is Geoff, I got their plan but it's encoded. I'm sending it to you, but it will take like 15 minutes. Don't worry about me, everyone thinks I'm laddering. If they walk in on me I'll just pretend to be making an online scrapbook for Anna. If that fails I can always act like I was searching for porn."



"Copy that Geoff, we got your back. Aiur always pays its debts."



The sound of a door opening was almost unrecognizable, but it was there. Geoff knew what to do. This is what he was born for.

As Geoff slowly spinned his chair around, the unmistakeable face of Machine appeared. Bodyguard and doppelganger of Idra, highly dangerous.







"Hey Geoff, what are you doing up so late?"



"Just making a scrapbook for Anna."



"Cool, I LOVE scrapbooks. Can I help?"



"O don't worry about it man. I'm almost done. I'm gonna go for the picture of us together, the one where she wears that yellow dress. That's the last one, got it covered just gotta press order scrapbook now."



"Too bad. Let me know next time you're making a scrapbook. I love scrapbooks man.

Why aren't you ordering it?"



"Euhm...gonna wait till tomorrow, maybe it will be on discount then."



"It says 50% off today only. You should go for it right now man!"



" It's fine, maybe tomorrow it will be 75%."



"Are you insane press "order now" man, 50% is huge! Gotta make some scrapbooks myself later, this is a BARGAIN!"



There was desperaty in the way Geoff moved his finger toward his mouse, and finally pressed the "order scrapbook" button.



"Nice dude, only 299,99 now. Why did you take the 500page version when 1000 is also an option? I always take the maximum allowed, can't get enough of scrapbooking man.

Gonna make some scrapbooks myself, cya tomorrow."



"Goddammit, I just spend 300 dollars on a 500page scrapbook with only one picture in it. Only 10 minutes remaining, this can't go wrong."



As those words left his mouth a sightly drunk, brittish guy appeared in the doorframe. Demuslim, another Idra doppelganger/bodyguard.





2:28 AM







"GEOFFIEEEEEE, WHAT'S UP MILORD. What do you have going on there, mate?



"O jeez, this is so embarassing I was looking at some porn."



"Mate, I'm very drunk but I think that makes sense. I often think of it as watermelon juice. No one has ever tasted watermelon juice, but would love to try it. I'm thinking about opening a watermelon bar, with a watermelon theme park next to it. You could enjoy rides, eat watermelons and drink watermelon juice all day. I'd call it "Benjamin's Watermelon Park"..."



"Dude, could you please stop. This is really awkward for me."



"YOU DON'T LIKE MY THEMEPARK DO YOU!? BLOODY AMERICAN PUSSY, "BENJAMIN'S WATERMELON PARK IS A BLOODY BRILLIANT BLOODY IDEA MATE!"



"Take it easy, I love the watermelon idea. Just leave the room please this is awkward."



"Oh. Sorry mate kind of lost it. So you do think it's a great idea?"



"Yes, it's awesome. Can't wait to go watermelonriding, but now you need some sleep, let's go to bed."



Ok Arcane, he's out. This cannot possibly go wrong, victory is ours!



2:37 PM



Things went wrong. The unthinkable happened, in came ... *gasp* the GRACKEN.









"Well, well. Who do we have here. Geoff Robinson. What are you doing here in the middle of the night? You don't have any secrets to hide I hope? That would be...most dissapointing."



There was no plan for this. He already used the scrapbook and the porn excuse. Improvisation was his only option.



"Just making a scrapbook for Anna."



"Don't be ridiculous you hate scrapbooks. Remember how you said you don't want anything that uses glue because horses are such magnificent beasts who deserve a peaceful afterlife. Show me what's on your screen."



Geoff slowly moved away, inch by inch the screen became visible.



"Ah gross geoff that's disgusting. Why are you watching porn in our house? Fucking disgusting man."



"You got me, jeez this is embarassing."



"Wait a minute. If you're not making a scrapbook then what are all these pictures doing here?"



Idra leaned forward and started reading.



" "Upload your own picture to our site." Wait a minute...are you uploading pictures of yourself to pornsites? That's highly disturbing. you're sick, why would you do this?"



"You got me. I get arroussed by uploading photos of myself to pornsites. God, when you think things can't get anymore embarassing am I right? Haha."



"This isn't funny. How long have you been doing this? Wait... you didn't upload any pictures of me did you? Show me what you've done."



"It's nothing just did this one picture of me and Anna."



"Get help Geoff. Seriously get help."



He's gone. The data is secured. Did have to put a picture of myself on a porn site. It's a really shady one so there's no way teamliquid will ever find out haha."



5 MINUTES LATER



Teamliquid finds out



The next morning the world was still there because of Incontrol. Also for some unexplainable reason Machine received 50 scrapbooks about water melons, and 1 about kittens. His scrapbook about little bunnies is still missing today.



Part III



2 Months Later:



A chill morning breeze went through the Blizzard Office and made men shiver like it was the breath of death itself. None of them believed in the characterization of death as a person, but if one man would be able to alter their minds on that it would be Dustin Browder. Cold as ice he sat there waiting behind the massive glass walls of his office. When the door opened and Idra came marching in, there was nothing but silence left in the world. The Gracken's footsteps echoed through the enormous hallway as every one of them brought him closer to his target. He entered Browder's office, and at long last death had found a worthy opponent.



"Why is Huk not dead."



"Greg, my friend, things are in motion. All we need to do now is wait for the right moment to strike."



"Patience is a useful skill to have, but it's not one I possess. I told you to kill him. He is not dead. What would you do when someone stabs you in the back like that, when someone disobeys you and shows no signs of true loyalty to your cause, when someone fails to meet an arrangement?

When a bird flies too high you cut its wings. And I'm here to cut yours, my old ally."



"Come on Greg, this isn't necessary...NO PLEASE GOD NO.... YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS...I'LL GET RID OF HIM...I SWEAR!



"You're tongue has casted too many lies, try not to add more before you meet your maker."



Darkness covered the world. Winds of winter blazed to the bone. Slowly the ordinary Greg Fields turned into a monster beyond compare. The Gracken was here. As Dustin met his final moment, as he unleashed his final breath onto the world and stared into the cold green eyes of his killer; he saw the true face of death.



Hello, my friends. 2 months have passed since the last message, and much has changed. The fact that for once a Terran didn't win the gsl can be considered a small victory, but as longs as protosses die to the 111 this war isn't over. We are battling hard, and recently we put one of our most brilliant schemes in motion. To explain it all, we have to go back in time and go through the secret information provided by our ally in the Slayers house.



The SPY







Huk has been a spy since the very founding of our organization, even leaving TL for EG in order to keep an eye on Idra. Recent changes in leadership at the enemy camp put his life at risk.



This is his story.



Slayers Team House, February-March Events:





When Idra first joined the Slayers house everyone suspected he would move against Huk, but there was a long period of silence on that part. Huk was practicing next to TaeJa, a 111 expert and highly dangerous. Idra was all the way on the other side of the house, and was of course just waiting for the right moment to strike. After 14 hours of laddering he suddenly realized Huk's room didn't have any detection at all. The fool would die easily to a Dark templar rush. Idra left nothing to chance and installed a trap wire on Huk's chair to knock him over, tie him to his chair and make a giant bowl of superglue fall over him to mend his face together with the ground; then the Dts would be unleashed and Huk would be chanceless!



TaeJa moments before hell would break loose.



Idra hid in the closet of the room, waiting for Huk to start practicing again. Sadly for Idra Huk went karaoke singing with TaeJa and they didn't return for two days because they were completely high on free icecream.





A night to remember.



When he finally entered the room Idra's eyes were filled with an undescribable feeling of joy and cruelty. Huk moved towards the chair, sat down, and then hell broke loose. Idra could hear the screaming form behind the closet door and appeared in a dramatic fashion. To his surprise it wasn't Huk but TaeJa who was trapped on the ground and was squealing, the unfortunate boy proposed to swap desks just minutes before. The Dark Templars were still in the room however, and Huk had no detection.



"HAHHAHAHA YOU HAVE NO DETECTION FOOL! GO DARK TEMPLARS, SLAY HIM DEAD!



Huk was still high on free ice cream, and didn't quite realize that there was no such thing as dark templars in real-life. He started screaming like a little girl and running around in circles for 10 minutes. After this Idra realized the fact that Huk was still alive could only mean that the Dark Templars weren't following his orders at all, and more importantly: He didn't have any detection either. In response to this sudden epiphany of dark templars gone rogue in a room without detection he started screaming like a little girl and running around in circles as well, unfortunately they were trampling poor TaeJa in the process.



After 15 long minutes, especially for TaeJa, a mysterious shadow entered the room. This caused even more fear, and in the case of TaeJa even more getting trampled.







Luckily the mysterious shadow was the ruggedly handsome Boxer, who quickly noticed the syndrome of confusing Starcraft with reality which all of his players suffered from.



"Relax guys, I have a scan!"



Boxer started shotuing "BWEEPEDWEEPEDWEEP" and quickly spinned around like a helicopter with his arms stretched .



"See, no dts I scanned and killed them. You guys can relax. Wait, why is TaeJa tied to his deskchair and glued to the ground face first?"



The Last Supper:



That night the Slayers Team was enjoying a nice meal togther with the oGs team. The tension between Huk and Idra was slightly reduced because Boxer made them play co-op mario games all afternoon. They were definetely the worst team in history, but after the countless failing of even the easiest levels Idra was too mentally broken to do anything.







Like this but with Boxer instead of Jesus. Actually Jesus is a historic mix-up with Boxer and the name Jesus should be replaced by Boxer in every story, painting or song.



The dinner was aboslutely amazing, I mean of course it was because Boxer was there, but this time it was even more astonishing than usual. They had the most delicious supper and afterwards they all got a bananasplit for dessert.



All was well untill Boxer told about what happened with Huk and Idra today, and how he had to scan to free them. He re-acted the way he spinned around like a helicopter, but sadly that wasn't the best idea in a room filled with people who just played Starcraft for 15 hours. MMA sadly mistook poor TaeJa's head for an observer, and punched him really hard. After he dropped to the ground he unleashed a triumphant shriek.



This made Inca realize that there wasn't any detection left to stop his dark templars. He tied his banana to a wooden stick and used it as a scythe. Inca sadly mistook poor Taeja's round head and rectangle-ish body for a missile turret and decided that he had to take it out as soon as he could. The other terrans in the room wanted to help him but realized that at least one of them would get taken out by the vile scythe if they tried to attack Inca, so they just repaired TaeJa. Of course unlike scvs their hands weren't tools and all they did was tickle him.



While Taeja was being tickled and beaten with a banana scythe Boxer decided that he had to intervene, while Jessica made KRIEPWIEP sounds to enact a Raven MMA noticed that he could just kill the dt with his banshee and take no risk of getting hurt. Inca saw this and ran away, and sadly for poor TaeJa he got hit by two flaming pineapples. Not only do flaming pineapples generally hurt like hell, they also don't go well with excessive amounts of superglue.



Sadly for poor TaeJa his flaming head reminded the Terrans of a colossus, and they threw double books, plates, forks, burning knives and everything that even remotely looked like a vikings laser torpedo at him. They did put out the flames; but double books, plates, forks and flaming knives generally hurt like hell as well. The shrieking sound of pain that bursted out of TaeJa's mouth looked a lot like a baneling explosion, making the terrans inject themselves with unknown fluid containing syrengues and running around to various corners of the room while shouting RATATATATATATA. This sudden change from vikings to marines made them realize they could be anything they wanted to be, and like any starcraft player they were quick to abuse this imbalance. Sadly for poor Taejae they all picked banshee and threw flaming pineapples at him, after all his circular burned head did quite look like a sporecrawler.



AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



TaeJa's scream stopped everyone.

YOU ALL CRAZY!!!! CRAZY!!!!! ONLY FOREIGNER HUK AND IDRA NORMAL!!!! ALL REST THROW PINEAPPLE!!!! CRAZY PEOPLE!!!!! I JOIN FOREIGN TEAM!!!!!!



The next day:







When he arrived in the USA the cab driver mistook him for that other 111 master EGPuma, and drived him all the way to the Evil Genius house in Arizona.



He was quite amazed by the beautiful mansion, and already felt completely at home. As he stepped out of the cab a mailman arrived.



"Hi there, we received an order for 502 scrapbooks to this adress 2 months ago, and the one about little bunnies got lost. Are you the crazy person that ordered all this stuff?"



TaeJa's English was limited so he decided to smile, wave and nod in response. It's a number's game.



"Yep, that sounds about right. Enjoy the scrapbook."



After a week EG realized they only had one Korean 111er, but by mistake they kicked Puma out. It wasn't untill Nazgul brought the police and accussed them of kidnapping that TaeJa finally reached his true home.



One of the 111 experts is now in the USA, for keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Not only was he brought here by our devious scheme, he will also be assassinated by one of his own. For someone is missing a bunny scrapbook, and he will stop at nothing to get it.



Part IV



3 Months later:







Machine was not an easy man to impress, but upon seeing Idra's new residence even he felt nothing but astonishment. On the top floor of the enormous dark tower the Gracken sat quietly upon his throne. All of his lieutenants were summoned to him immediately, for what they did not know. The structure was as evil from the inside as from the outside, the walls made from imprisoned humans and slimey, organic purple creep. Idra didn't bother to come down, he just sat there on his throne. He sat there when Machine first saw the tower, he sat there when he arrived at the foot of it today, and he sits there now as the throne room is being swarmed with his loyal followers, each of them bending the knee in honor of the dark lord.



"You probably wonder why I called you here. You probably wonder when we will commence the assault. You probably wonder when Protoss and Terran will become extinct. And you probably wonder when Huk will die."



No one dared to look up, every single man in that room was doing absolutely nothing other than bending the knee.



"The answer my friends ..."



The pause was breathtaking, everyone was looking at eachother. The not knowing of the reason of their presence was filling everyone with fear.



"The answer my friends, ... is today! Bring him in!"



A hooded man was being dragged into the room, he tried to break loose from his guard's strong grip but all effort was futile. Idra slowly moved toward him, and as he took the hood off everyone could see the face of Huk. Idra's biggest enemy, the great hero of the Protoss race had been captured.



"MY BROTHERS, FOR TOO LONG WE HAVE LIVED UNDER THE TERRAN AND PROTOSS OPRESSION. TONIGHT WE ESTABLISH A NEW ORDER, ONE THAT WILL FINALLY GIVE US WHAT WE DESERVE. THE HISTORY OF THIS DAY WILL BE WRITTEN IN BLOOD, AND FROM AIUR TO KORHAL THEY SHALL REMEMBER IT AS THE DAY THAT THE RULE OF THE SWARM BEGAN. WE ARE THE NEW MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE. FROM THIS DAY, TO THE END OF DAYS! I DELCARE THE PICKING OF THE PROTOSS OR TERRAN RACE ILLEGAL, ALL WHO STAND IN MY WAY SHALL MEET THE PUNISHMENT OF THE TRUE DEAD!"



His followers were cheering, everyone was intensely touched by the sight of victory and their cries of relief were deafening.



Idra turned to Huk and softly said: "I will take your life, I owe it to you to hear your final words."

"Yes." Huk paused and gazed directly in the eyes of the Gracken. "Long live Aiur."

Huk ferociously broke free and started attacking Idra with psi storms and colossus laser beams. Idra barely dodged the swift flurry of attacks and bought himself some time. The young protoss kept firing everything he had at the Gracken and not before long the once marvelous throne room had become a theatre of destruction. Idra striked ay Huk with a quick tentacle lash, but Huk hallucinated himself dozens of times and was able to survive.



"I'm impressed, but none of those aiur magic tricks will save you here. This is my realm. There is no hope, only death."



The skies darkened as Idra unleashed an enormous beam of black energy. He was no longer a human of flesh and blood, but a Gracken of the shadows. The dark lord was twenty times Huk's size, and his magic was old and powerful.



"YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN WHO YOU ARE GREG, YOU USED TO BE A TERRAN! WHY DID YOU GO TO THE ZERG, THEY ARE EVIL!"



"In my eyes the Terran and Protoss are evil!!"



"THEN YOU ARE TRULY LOST!"



Huk channeled all of his power and unleashed an excruciating blue beam of psi-energy.

Machine and all of the other zergs shrieked in fear as they saw the bolt of light obliterate everything in its path, smiting the Gracken down. Exhausted Huk fell to the ground. The sweetness of victory conquered his spirit. Evil was defeated for once and for all, Aiur is free.



Until the dark, reptillian body of the Gracken started to move, and he slowly got back to hist feet.

"As I said there is no hope for you here. This world is mine. Your magic can't kill me, I am the lord of death itself."



The Gracken trapped Huk in vile magic chains, and swiftly jerked him upwards. He looked into the eyes of his prime enemy and said: "Goodbye Chris Loranger, you have lost."



Huk was getting surrounded by shadows, consumed by the spirits of hell. Death was dragging him closer and closer to his realm. His last thought was of Aiur.



An eternal silence overcame the dark tower. No one dared to talk, move or breathe.



Then Machine spoke: "Taeja has my bunny scrapbook, can we go kill him now please?"



A long silence. The Gracken looked at him with hatred, everyone was certain that the foolish Machine would be slaughtered to set an example.



Yet Idra replied: "We will."





Hello my friends.

These are dark times, a new order has risen to defeat Protoss and Terran for once and for all. Our great hero, the enormously handsome yet unfortunately short Huk has fallen. Are we defeated? Is this the end? Of course not! Our top secret headquarters has established a masterplan. If we slay the head of the snake, the body will be unorganized and harmless. We have established an elite squad of 9 people, the greatest heroes Protoss and Terran have to offer. Protoss will unite with their old 111 enemies, and take the fight to the evil Zerg for one last time.



The Avengers:



Day9







Day9 is our elite leader. None of the team members are allowed to organize missions without getting a "Day9 approves". Smart, funny, charming, charismatic, nice ... Day 9 has an infinite amount of qualities completely useless to the mission, but it wouldn't be the same without him. He is our rock.



Fun fact: Once ate Artosis' icecream when he went to the bathroom, then hypnotized him in his sleep to make him believe it was a raccoon.



Artosis







Artosis, another pilar of wisdom. Only in the team because we wanted the magnificent Tasteless, yet deems himself the most valuable and important member.

Has no idea why an idiot like day9 is being chosen to be the leader over himself, the self-proclaimed Gandalf -Toss (because he's wise, we didn't get it at first either), but has agreed to join the team. Is always questioning Day9's decisions and acts like he is the real leader at all times. Always adds "I approve too" after Sean says "Day9 approves" to initiate a mission. Hates MC for not paying attention to his brilliant strategic advice.



Fun facts: Research has shown that an Artosis pylon joke is made once every 3 minutes and 21 seconds.

Has an enormous and unexplainable hate for raccoons.

Was almost accidently shot by Goody's panzertank.

Fearlessely goes to battle wearing red cowboy boots and a pink shirt.



Tasteless







Badass, strong, ruthless, handsome. Basically everything that Artosis isn't. Yet Artosis is everything that Tasteless isn't, so the archon form may be exactly what we need in the final showdown.



Fun fact: Is actually 177-0 vs Artosis but has agreed to act dumb on the terms that Artosis names his firstborn son "Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville".



MC







Where can we start: BossToss, President, GSL Winner, ... The one and only true god of Protoss. He is our best hope of defeating the Gracken, if he can't do this... well we're screwed then.



Fun fact: Sings LA LA LA in his head very loudly whenever Artosis is talking.



Naniwa







The foreigner Protoss god. Strong, smart, handsome, badass. Has everything that it takes to be a real hero, yet mostly accepted to the team because he kind of looks like a pirate and pirates are cool.



Fun fact: Doesn't like pirates, doesn't like being associated with one, doesn't like the Pirates of the Carribean movies, and doesn't like Artosis.



Goody







The Panzer commander. If we want to bring Idra down we will need his mech firepower. Has the command over thousands of tanks, tanks and tanks. Don't mess with this guy, he's the textbook example of a badass.



Fun fact: Was annoyed by the self-presumed German expert Artosis correcting his German grammar, fired at him and only missed by inches.



Marineking







Marineking, a microking, a fashionking. In the team because we needed some handsomeness after hiring Artosis, and also because besides Tasteless no one has any idea on how to dress and we need to look dynamite when we attack the Gracken.



Fun fact: Convinced Artosis that pink shirts make him look like a womanizing god, and that a combination of this with red cowboy boots will make him get ladies quick as a cheetah.



Taeja







Former enemy, 111 expert. Will use the 111 against Idra to bring him down to his knees crying a river of tears while he screams 'Nerf 111!" like a little girl.



Fun fact: A true friend of Artosis. Always listens to his advices, witty remarks, strategical observations and hilarious oneliners. Has no idea what Dan is saying because he doesn't understand english.



White-Ra







The nicest, funniest, smartest and most social person in the world. A true hero. He is the real Gandalf Toss. Also useful in case we have to make an expo and defend it.



Fun fact: For a bet he once had to tell Artosis that he was a real genius, that his advice was absolutely awesome and that he sees him as the true almighty god of Protoss; and all of this without bursting out laughing. He was going good until he noticed Artosis' red cowboy boots and pink shirt.



The Showdown:





Our brave, handsome, chivalrous heroes and Artosis descended onto the battlefield. With a roaring sound Goody's panzers ravaged the Zerg land. The Dark Tower was in sight, yet it would take hours of butchery to blast through the gates and ascend to the throne room for a final showdown with the Gracken.



Day9 activated his earplug in an as always extremely handsome way, and said 'Day9 approves" which was quickly followed by an "I approve too" from Artosis. The mission was a go, our forces swiftly started moving towards the enemies treshold.



MC was dominating the battlefield aboard a collosus, shooting burning beams of death down onto the endless waves of zerglings.

White Ra established a defensive position and was defending our main base like only the Gandalf-Toss could.



Tasteless was being a stunning god like always, even having time to take this insanely handsome picture while fighting.



From Tasteless at 4:53pm



When is their main army coming?



Marineking was moving at the speed of light despite of the badass yet fashionabable customized marine suit he was wearing, and dodged millions and millions of baneling explosions.



Meanwhile the Korean Terran Lord Taeja was eating nachos while commanding his marine/tank/banshee force.



To his displeasure Naniwa was awarded the fleet (I swear, it wasn't because he looks like a pirate!), and because of his pirate hate he also hated boats. He quickly stopped complaining after we threatened to give Artosis the task of sensually whispering words of advice in his ear at all times. He might deny his true destiny, but he was simply crushing the zerg fleet with ease. Even had time to look at a battlefield-vibe picture Tasteless sent him on facebook.



From Tasteless at 5:00 pm



Just chilling around on the field, sup with you pirateboy?



Meanwhile Artosis was being the dreaded spearpoint of our vanguard, dealing terrible damage all around him while forever scarring his enemies with the mental image of him in his red cowboy boots.



Tasteless was of course being an absolute god and already reached the throne room, however he was called back by Sean because he hadn't said "Day9 approves" yet. Artosis quickly added that "He hadn't given his approval either"!



From Tasteless at 5:56 pm:



Me and Idra in Dark Tower Throne room, what's taking so long....



"Day9 approves, enter the throne room!"

"Yea, I approve too guys!"



Our valiant heroes and Artosis assembled at the gates of the Dark Tower. To their disgrace the severed heads of hundreds of Terran and Protoss players had been spiked and put on top of the dark walls. The cruel reign of the Gracken had to be put at an end. Our marvelous, glorious, godlike commanders all saluted the true hero Huk; and entered the palace of evil. Then Artosis did the same.



Inside the Dark Tower:







Our brave squad of heroes, quickly followed by Artosis, ventured through the dark halls of the Gracken's residence. They couldn't imagine the world of torment they were about to enter. Dark shadows were all around them. Demonic spirits chasing them, carefully lurking, but not taking any action until their master commanded them to do so.

Tasteless was the first to enter the throne room, the dark marble was of beautfiul craftmanship. This place must have been beautiful once, yet it was now corrupted by the touch of darkness.



"Well, well. Who do we have here. The best Terran and Protoss have to offer...and Artosis." Even the simplest of phrases bestowed fear and terror if they were spoken by the Gracken.



"Your reign ends now. This madness has to end! All three races can live together without war!", the valiant and handsome Tasteless said.



"Don't praise the day before sunset old friend, you haven't even beaten my generals yet. SWARMLORDS, ATTACK!"



Zerg lords descended from all corners of this room of madness. With some quick martial arts moves MC shook his attackers off. One by one the zergs fell to a hundred fists and screamed as MC smit them down with beams of fiery light. Naniwa swashbucklered through the waves of forces, having finally accepted his true destiny of pirate he was unstoppable. Death was everywhere around him and with every slash of his sabre he added more and more souls to the realms of death.



All of that changed when Machine entered the battlefield. The fearless legionnaire went straight to his target: Taeja. With a wave of force he pushed everyone standing between him and the young Korean boy away, and charged right at him. They were ferociously struggling, Machine had the upper hand until a swift kick from Taeja sent him falling into a deep hellpit. The evil machine didn't give up so quickly, and dragged Taeja along with him. As they fell deeper and deeper the fight was getting heavier.



"WHERE IS THE SCRAPBOOK! GIVE IT TO ME, ITS MINE, MY OWN!"



Taeja desperately tried to get his hands on a rock and stop the fall, but Machine's hits were too brutal and they kept falling.



"JUST GIVE IT, GIVE IT NOW OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!'



Machine hit Taeja right on the head with a vicious strike, and Taeja lost consciousness.



A white hall: majestic, mystic, beautiful. The young Korean couldn't believe what his very eyes were seeing. Up ahead a glooming light shone brightly. He walked towards it, almost hypnotized by it's sheer beauty.

Out of the light stepped a tall handsome man, he reached his hand to Taeja.

It was Boxer.







"No, my captain, tell me they didn't kill you, tell me you're not dead!" Taeja couldn't believe it.



"I'm afraid I cannot tell you that my prodigy. It is time to take your place among the Terran lords Taeja. It is time to live forever in the palace of light."



"Am I going to die?"



"Of course you will die. But not yet, first you need to avenge your brothers. First you need to kill the Gracken."



"But how?"



"Give Machine the book and grab the wall tightly. We will use our mystic power to get you out, so you can face our true enemy like the hero we know you are."



More figures stepped out of the light. MMA, Bomber, Mvp, Keen, Ryung, Clide and all the other Terran lords from this time until the beginning of time emerged from the light.



"You can do this, Taeja. We believe." Boxer gently touched Taeja's forehead and then he was back.



The demonic Machine was still relentlessely assaulting him, but with his regained strength Taeja casted him away.



"GO BACK TO THE DARKNESS!"



Taeja used all of the Terran strength to throw Machine down the pit.



"Here is your book", Taeja said as he threw it down.



As he fell Machine grasped the book, held it tightly and murmured "Together forever, my precious" before he went through the gates of hell and was consumed by the darkness inside.



"For Terran." Taeja launched himself upward and re-entered the throne room, striking his enemies down like an angel of vengeance. The fight was brutal, the fight was bloody, the fight was horrifying; but we were winning. When the Gracken stepped down from his throne all of that changed.



"I have come to destroy you", he whispered as he vanquished Whitera with one malicious blow. He launched magic banelings of such a speed that even Marineking fell to their gory explosion.



"MERAXES VHAEGON RHAEGNOR!", the old language hadn't been spoken in years. There were no spells as powerful as the ones of the Firstborn people. Above them a huge dark rift appeared in the sky, and from it emerged three shadow dragons.



"DESTROY THEM, MY CHILDREN, I COMMAND YOU TO DESTROY THEM ALL."







Dragons are the embodyment of the old magic, stronger than anything alive in this era.

Naniwa looked at his comrades and said: "For Aiur". He soared upwards into the sky and commenced a deadly dogfight with three dragons. Taeja used the magic of the Terran Heaven to cast himself a set of angelic wings, and joined Naniwa in his mid-air dance of death.



The Gracken unleashed more shadowmagic and drained the life out of Goody. MC drew his sword and engaged in head to head combat, but the long tail of the Gracken threw him of balance.



"Even the god of Protoss has to bow before my might!", without hesitation Idra casted MC down to the deepest ring of Hell.



Taeja and Naniwa were fighting bravely, but the dragons seemed immortal and they didn't even get scratched by their attacks. Hopelessely and endlessely they were waging war.



"Taeja...Taeja...The time has come, you need to join us. It is time, my child. Unleash your true power and join us forever in the afterlife', Boxer's spirit said.



"Yes....YES!" Taeja casted an enormous ring of energy and vaporized the dragons with holy light of Terran. The next moment, he and brave Naniwa were soaked up by the eternal light of death,a dn tehy entered the halls of heroes.



Meanwhile the fight in the throne room came down to the Gracken versus the always handsome Tasteless and Day 9. O, and Artosis was there too.



"The Plott brothers, brave but foolish to face me here. By the way Nick you look stunning."



"I know...you're a little too tentacly for my taste."



Swords were drawn. Tasteless unleashed a flurry of blows but Idra dodged them handily. Day9 casted beams of light but Idra's skin was simply too thick. The Gracken summoned a pack of hell hounds and they quickly jumped Day9, he was in a dance of death but holding on strongly. Tasteless was now head to head with Idra, and as they exchanged blows, victory seemed farther and farther away. The demon lord of hell that he had become was too powerful for a mere mortal like Tasteless, handsome as he may be. But he did not give up, he did not stop fighting. With the last remnants of his power he chopped of two of the Gracken's tentacles. Idra's screams of pain made such a shrieking sound that Tasteless dropped to the ground exhausted and covered his ears with both hands. He wanted to fight, but he had no strength left in his body and couldn't get himself to stand up. Day9 killed the hell hounds with a few quick beams of light, but the insane effort had drained all the magic out of his soul and he fell to the ground in exhaustion pain.



"The last hope of Terran and Protoss. Defeated. You cannot stop me, it was a critical error in judgement to think otherwise."

The Gracken moved closer to the Plott brothers and looked them in the eye.



"I imagined victory to taste sweeter, it is with regret that I send you to death's keep my old friends." The Gracken raised his shadow sword and was ready to pierce the heroic Plott brothers to death, but then he started screaming. Blood, blood everywhere.



"NOOO, WHAT IS THIS?! I AM THE GOD OF DEATH ITSELF. YOU CANNOT KILL ME"



Behind the evil Gracken stood Artosis, pink shirt around his waist, red cowboy boots on his feet, and a sword staked through Idra's heart in his hand.



"When you meet your maker, tell him it was Artosis who sent you."



Day9 was completely ravished, yet he found the strength to look at his friend with joy and hope in his eyes, and said: "Kill him Dan......... Day9 approves."



"I approve too", Artosis whispered, and he slashed the Gracken's head off with one blow.



The world was saved. We will never forget our brave, handsome, valiant, heroic, strong, fashionable, ferocious, ruthless heroes....



...and Artosis.



Especially Artosis.







Poll: Who is your favorite character?



Idra (103)

26%



Artosis (78)

20%



Naniwa (35)

9%



Tasteless (32)

8%



Boxer (32)

8%



Day9 (29)

7%



Taeja (23)

6%



Demuslim (14)

4%



Machine (13)

3%



Dustin Browder (13)

3%



Other (11)

3%



Incontrol (9)

2%



392 total votes (103)26%(78)20%(35)9%(32)8%(32)8%(29)7%(23)6%(14)4%(13)3%(13)3%(11)3%(9)2%392 total votes Your vote: Who is your favorite character? (Vote): Idra

(Vote): Day9

(Vote): Tasteless

(Vote): Artosis

(Vote): Taeja

(Vote): Machine

(Vote): Naniwa

(Vote): Boxer

(Vote): Dustin Browder

(Vote): Incontrol

(Vote): Demuslim

(Vote): Other

















. No one can keep them apart.The other missiles will take care of all the remaining protosses in the world. The 1-1-1 strategy is in fact a sadistic joke: It kills protosses ingame, but the REAL 1-1-1 will kill them in real-life.The truth is hard to capture, but it is real. The only question that remains is: Who is the mastermind behind all this? We need to stop this, and we can only do this by taking away their leader.So tell me, who do we move against?Hello my friends. The above conversation was transmitted to me by my mole in the EG house. We were victoious a couple of months ago, but now they have returned. They're everywhere, they're angry, and they want all protosses dead. Scared? You should be.I have established a resistance movement with the finest agents in the world. We will stop them. This is the plan.Think avenge is just some average korean Protoss? Think again. This is just a disguise.He's like James Bond, but cooler more handsome and deadlier.What Avenge really looks like:Avenge on a magazine cover. Just because he can.Recruited for 1 purpose: Stopping Idra from winning the GSL. How do you do that? You get in his brakcet and knock him out.Want proof? Who do you think knocked Idra to code B? Avenge. What race does avenge play? Protoss, happens to be the race they want to exterminate. Coincidence? Of course not, I just explained it all."Yay, avenge is our hero he will save us all! "Wrong. We cannot rely on one person. Even though avenge is ruggedly handsome, I didn't put all of my eggs in his basket.If you want to defeat your enemy, you have to know his plan.Incontrol is a world class spy. He infiltrated the EG training house, and lived amongst the breathing devils Idra, Machine and Demuslim ( demuslim is also brittish, imagine what a satanic creature that must be)."But Arcie, why didn't you pick Huk? He's in Korea, and he's a lot smaller. He can hide everywhere."First of all I don't want you to call me Arcie. Huk was a target, he couldn't be saved. Sorry bro, terious is a monster.As you all probably read a picture of incontrol ended up on a porn site.What's up with that? I'll tell you: it's a heroic tale of brave incontrol who fought the 111 conspiracy. This is what happened that day."Arcane this is Geoff, I got their plan but it's encoded. I'm sending it to you, but it will take like 15 minutes. Don't worry about me, everyone thinks I'm laddering. If they walk in on me I'll just pretend to be making an online scrapbook for Anna. If that fails I can always act like I was searching for porn.""Copy that Geoff, we got your back. Aiur always pays its debts."The sound of a door opening was almost unrecognizable, but it was there. Geoff knew what to do. This is what he was born for.As Geoff slowly spinned his chair around, the unmistakeable face of Machine appeared. Bodyguard and doppelganger of Idra, highly dangerous."Hey Geoff, what are you doing up so late?""Just making a scrapbook for Anna.""Cool, I LOVE scrapbooks. Can I help?""O don't worry about it man. I'm almost done. I'm gonna go for the picture of us together, the one where she wears that yellow dress. That's the last one, got it covered just gotta press order scrapbook now.""Too bad. Let me know next time you're making a scrapbook. I love scrapbooks man.Why aren't you ordering it?""Euhm...gonna wait till tomorrow, maybe it will be on discount then.""It says 50% off today only. You should go for it right now man!"" It's fine, maybe tomorrow it will be 75%.""Are you insane press "order now" man, 50% is huge! Gotta make some scrapbooks myself later, this is a BARGAIN!"There was desperaty in the way Geoff moved his finger toward his mouse, and finally pressed the "order scrapbook" button."Nice dude, only 299,99 now. Why did you take the 500page version when 1000 is also an option? I always take the maximum allowed, can't get enough of scrapbooking man.Gonna make some scrapbooks myself, cya tomorrow.""Goddammit, I just spend 300 dollars on a 500page scrapbook with only one picture in it. Only 10 minutes remaining, this can't go wrong."As those words left his mouth a sightly drunk, brittish guy appeared in the doorframe. Demuslim, another Idra doppelganger/bodyguard."GEOFFIEEEEEE, WHAT'S UP MILORD. What do you have going on there, mate?"O jeez, this is so embarassing I was looking at some porn.""Mate, I'm very drunk but I think that makes sense. I often think of it as watermelon juice. No one has ever tasted watermelon juice, but would love to try it. I'm thinking about opening a watermelon bar, with a watermelon theme park next to it. You could enjoy rides, eat watermelons and drink watermelon juice all day. I'd call it "Benjamin's Watermelon Park"...""Dude, could you please stop. This is really awkward for me.""YOU DON'T LIKE MY THEMEPARK DO YOU!? BLOODY AMERICAN PUSSY, "BENJAMIN'S WATERMELON PARK IS A BLOODY BRILLIANT BLOODY IDEA MATE!""Take it easy, I love the watermelon idea. Just leave the room please this is awkward.""Oh. Sorry mate kind of lost it. So you do think it's a great idea?""Yes, it's awesome. Can't wait to go watermelonriding, but now you need some sleep, let's go to bed."Ok Arcane, he's out. This cannot possibly go wrong, victory is ours!Things went wrong. The unthinkable happened, in came ... *gasp* the GRACKEN."Well, well. Who do we have here. Geoff Robinson. What are you doing here in the middle of the night? You don't have any secrets to hide I hope? That would be...most dissapointing."There was no plan for this. He already used the scrapbook and the porn excuse. Improvisation was his only option."Just making a scrapbook for Anna.""Don't be ridiculous you hate scrapbooks. Remember how you said you don't want anything that uses glue because horses are such magnificent beasts who deserve a peaceful afterlife. Show me what's on your screen."Geoff slowly moved away, inch by inch the screen became visible."Ah gross geoff that's disgusting. Why are you watching porn in our house? Fucking disgusting man.""You got me, jeez this is embarassing.""Wait a minute. If you're not making a scrapbook then what are all these pictures doing here?"Idra leaned forward and started reading." "Upload your own picture to our site." Wait a minute...are you uploading pictures of yourself to pornsites? That's highly disturbing. you're sick, why would you do this?""You got me. I get arroussed by uploading photos of myself to pornsites. God, when you think things can't get anymore embarassing am I right? Haha.""This isn't funny. How long have you been doing this? Wait... you didn't upload any pictures of me did you? Show me what you've done.""It's nothing just did this one picture of me and Anna.""Get help Geoff. Seriously get help."He's gone. The data is secured. Did have to put a picture of myself on a porn site. It's a really shady one so there's no way teamliquid will ever find out haha."The next morning the world was still there because of Incontrol. Also for some unexplainable reason Machine received 50 scrapbooks about water melons, and 1 about kittens. His scrapbook about little bunnies is still missing today.Hello, my friends. 2 months have passed since the last message, and much has changed. The fact that for once a Terran didn't win the gsl can be considered a small victory, but as longs as protosses die to the 111 this war isn't over. We are battling hard, and recently we put one of our most brilliant schemes in motion. To explain it all, we have to go back in time and go through the secret information provided by our ally in the Slayers house.Huk has been a spy since the very founding of our organization, even leaving TL for EG in order to keep an eye on Idra. Recent changes in leadership at the enemy camp put his life at risk.This is his story.When Idra first joined the Slayers house everyone suspected he would move against Huk, but there was a long period of silence on that part. Huk was practicing next to TaeJa, a 111 expert and highly dangerous. Idra was all the way on the other side of the house, and was of course just waiting for the right moment to strike. After 14 hours of laddering he suddenly realized Huk's room didn't have any detection at all. The fool would die easily to a Dark templar rush. Idra left nothing to chance and installed a trap wire on Huk's chair to knock him over, tie him to his chair and make a giant bowl of superglue fall over him to mend his face together with the ground; then the Dts would be unleashed and Huk would be chanceless!Idra hid in the closet of the room, waiting for Huk to start practicing again. Sadly for Idra Huk went karaoke singing with TaeJa and they didn't return for two days because they were completely high on free icecream.When he finally entered the room Idra's eyes were filled with an undescribable feeling of joy and cruelty. Huk moved towards the chair, sat down, and then hell broke loose. Idra could hear the screaming form behind the closet door and appeared in a dramatic fashion. To his surprise it wasn't Huk but TaeJa who was trapped on the ground and was squealing, the unfortunate boy proposed to swap desks just minutes before. The Dark Templars were still in the room however, and Huk had no detection."HAHHAHAHA YOU HAVE NO DETECTION FOOL! GO DARK TEMPLARS, SLAY HIM DEAD!Huk was still high on free ice cream, and didn't quite realize that there was no such thing as dark templars in real-life. He started screaming like a little girl and running around in circles for 10 minutes. After this Idra realized the fact that Huk was still alive could only mean that the Dark Templars weren't following his orders at all, and more importantly: He didn't have any detection either. In response to this sudden epiphany of dark templars gone rogue in a room without detection he started screaming like a little girl and running around in circles as well, unfortunately they were trampling poor TaeJa in the process.After 15 long minutes, especially for TaeJa, a mysterious shadow entered the room. This caused even more fear, and in the case of TaeJa even more getting trampled.Luckily the mysterious shadow was the ruggedly handsome Boxer, who quickly noticed the syndrome of confusing Starcraft with reality which all of his players suffered from."Relax guys, I have a scan!"Boxer started shotuing "BWEEPEDWEEPEDWEEP" and quickly spinned around like a helicopter with his arms stretched ."See, no dts I scanned and killed them. You guys can relax. Wait, why is TaeJa tied to his deskchair and glued to the ground face first?"That night the Slayers Team was enjoying a nice meal togther with the oGs team. The tension between Huk and Idra was slightly reduced because Boxer made them play co-op mario games all afternoon. They were definetely the worst team in history, but after the countless failing of even the easiest levels Idra was too mentally broken to do anything.The dinner was aboslutely amazing, I mean of course it was because Boxer was there, but this time it was even more astonishing than usual. They had the most delicious supper and afterwards they all got a bananasplit for dessert.All was well untill Boxer told about what happened with Huk and Idra today, and how he had to scan to free them. He re-acted the way he spinned around like a helicopter, but sadly that wasn't the best idea in a room filled with people who just played Starcraft for 15 hours. MMA sadly mistook poor TaeJa's head for an observer, and punched him really hard. After he dropped to the ground he unleashed a triumphant shriek.This made Inca realize that there wasn't any detection left to stop his dark templars. He tied his banana to a wooden stick and used it as a scythe. Inca sadly mistook poor Taeja's round head and rectangle-ish body for a missile turret and decided that he had to take it out as soon as he could. The other terrans in the room wanted to help him but realized that at least one of them would get taken out by the vile scythe if they tried to attack Inca, so they just repaired TaeJa. Of course unlike scvs their hands weren't tools and all they did was tickle him.While Taeja was being tickled and beaten with a banana scythe Boxer decided that he had to intervene, while Jessica made KRIEPWIEP sounds to enact a Raven MMA noticed that he could just kill the dt with his banshee and take no risk of getting hurt. Inca saw this and ran away, and sadly for poor TaeJa he got hit by two flaming pineapples. Not only do flaming pineapples generally hurt like hell, they also don't go well with excessive amounts of superglue.Sadly for poor TaeJa his flaming head reminded the Terrans of a colossus, and they threw double books, plates, forks, burning knives and everything that even remotely looked like a vikings laser torpedo at him. They did put out the flames; but double books, plates, forks and flaming knives generally hurt like hell as well. The shrieking sound of pain that bursted out of TaeJa's mouth looked a lot like a baneling explosion, making the terrans inject themselves with unknown fluid containing syrengues and running around to various corners of the room while shouting RATATATATATATA. This sudden change from vikings to marines made them realize they could be anything they wanted to be, and like any starcraft player they were quick to abuse this imbalance. Sadly for poor Taejae they all picked banshee and threw flaming pineapples at him, after all his circular burned head did quite look like a sporecrawler.AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTaeJa's scream stopped everyone.YOU ALL CRAZY!!!! CRAZY!!!!! ONLY FOREIGNER HUK AND IDRA NORMAL!!!! ALL REST THROW PINEAPPLE!!!! CRAZY PEOPLE!!!!! I JOIN FOREIGN TEAM!!!!!!When he arrived in the USA the cab driver mistook him for that other 111 master EGPuma, and drived him all the way to the Evil Genius house in Arizona.He was quite amazed by the beautiful mansion, and already felt completely at home. As he stepped out of the cab a mailman arrived."Hi there, we received an order for 502 scrapbooks to this adress 2 months ago, and the one about little bunnies got lost. Are you the crazy person that ordered all this stuff?"TaeJa's English was limited so he decided to smile, wave and nod in response. It's a number's game."Yep, that sounds about right. Enjoy the scrapbook."After a week EG realized they only had one Korean 111er, but by mistake they kicked Puma out. It wasn't untill Nazgul brought the police and accussed them of kidnapping that TaeJa finally reached his true home.One of the 111 experts is now in the USA, for keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Not only was he brought here by our devious scheme, he will also be assassinated by one of his own. For someone is missing a bunny scrapbook, and he will stop at nothing to get it.Hello my friends.These are dark times, a new order has risen to defeat Protoss and Terran for once and for all. Our great hero, the enormously handsome yet unfortunately short Huk has fallen. Are we defeated? Is this the end? Of course not! Our top secret headquarters has established a masterplan. If we slay the head of the snake, the body will be unorganized and harmless. We have established an elite squad of 9 people, the greatest heroes Protoss and Terran have to offer. Protoss will unite with their old 111 enemies, and take the fight to the evil Zerg for one last time.Day9 is our elite leader. None of the team members are allowed to organize missions without getting a "Day9 approves". Smart, funny, charming, charismatic, nice ... Day 9 has an infinite amount of qualities completely useless to the mission, but it wouldn't be the same without him. He is our rock.Fun fact: Once ate Artosis' icecream when he went to the bathroom, then hypnotized him in his sleep to make him believe it was a raccoon.Artosis, another pilar of wisdom. Only in the team because we wanted the magnificent Tasteless, yet deems himself the most valuable and important member.Has no idea why an idiot like day9 is being chosen to be the leader over himself, the self-proclaimed Gandalf -Toss (because he's wise, we didn't get it at first either), but has agreed to join the team. Is always questioning Day9's decisions and acts like he is the real leader at all times. Always adds "I approve too" after Sean says "Day9 approves" to initiate a mission. Hates MC for not paying attention to his brilliant strategic advice.Fun facts: Research has shown that an Artosis pylon joke is made once every 3 minutes and 21 seconds.Has an enormous and unexplainable hate for raccoons.Was almost accidently shot by Goody's panzertank.Fearlessely goes to battle wearing red cowboy boots and a pink shirt.Badass, strong, ruthless, handsome. Basically everything that Artosis isn't. Yet Artosis is everything that Tasteless isn't, so the archon form may be exactly what we need in the final showdown.Fun fact: Is actually 177-0 vs Artosis but has agreed to act dumb on the terms that Artosis names his firstborn son "Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville".Where can we start: BossToss, President, GSL Winner, ... The one and only true god of Protoss. He is our best hope of defeating the Gracken, if he can't do this... well we're screwed then.Fun fact: Sings LA LA LA in his head very loudly whenever Artosis is talking.The foreigner Protoss god. Strong, smart, handsome, badass. Has everything that it takes to be a real hero, yet mostly accepted to the team because he kind of looks like a pirate and pirates are cool.Fun fact: Doesn't like pirates, doesn't like being associated with one, doesn't like the Pirates of the Carribean movies, and doesn't like Artosis.The Panzer commander. If we want to bring Idra down we will need his mech firepower. Has the command over thousands of tanks, tanks and tanks. Don't mess with this guy, he's the textbook example of a badass.Fun fact: Was annoyed by the self-presumed German expert Artosis correcting his German grammar, fired at him and only missed by inches.Marineking, a microking, a fashionking. In the team because we needed some handsomeness after hiring Artosis, and also because besides Tasteless no one has any idea on how to dress and we need to look dynamite when we attack the Gracken.Fun fact: Convinced Artosis that pink shirts make him look like a womanizing god, and that a combination of this with red cowboy boots will make him get ladies quick as a cheetah.Former enemy, 111 expert. Will use the 111 against Idra to bring him down to his knees crying a river of tears while he screams 'Nerf 111!" like a little girl.Fun fact: A true friend of Artosis. Always listens to his advices, witty remarks, strategical observations and hilarious oneliners. Has no idea what Dan is saying because he doesn't understand english.The nicest, funniest, smartest and most social person in the world. A true hero. He is the real Gandalf Toss. Also useful in case we have to make an expo and defend it.Fun fact: For a bet he once had to tell Artosis that he was a real genius, that his advice was absolutely awesome and that he sees him as the true almighty god of Protoss; and all of this without bursting out laughing. He was going good until he noticed Artosis' red cowboy boots and pink shirt.Our brave, handsome, chivalrous heroes and Artosis descended onto the battlefield. With a roaring sound Goody's panzers ravaged the Zerg land. The Dark Tower was in sight, yet it would take hours of butchery to blast through the gates and ascend to the throne room for a final showdown with the Gracken.Day9 activated his earplug in an as always extremely handsome way, and said 'Day9 approves" which was quickly followed by an "I approve too" from Artosis. The mission was a go, our forces swiftly started moving towards the enemies treshold.MC was dominating the battlefield aboard a collosus, shooting burning beams of death down onto the endless waves of zerglings.White Ra established a defensive position and was defending our main base like only the Gandalf-Toss could.Tasteless was being a stunning god like always, even having time to take this insanely handsome picture while fighting.From Tasteless at 4:53pmMarineking was moving at the speed of light despite of the badass yet fashionabable customized marine suit he was wearing, and dodged millions and millions of baneling explosions.Meanwhile the Korean Terran Lord Taeja was eating nachos while commanding his marine/tank/banshee force.To his displeasure Naniwa was awarded the fleet (I swear, it wasn't because he looks like a pirate!), and because of his pirate hate he also hated boats. He quickly stopped complaining after we threatened to give Artosis the task of sensually whispering words of advice in his ear at all times. He might deny his true destiny, but he was simply crushing the zerg fleet with ease. Even had time to look at a battlefield-vibe picture Tasteless sent him on facebook.From Tasteless at 5:00 pmMeanwhile Artosis was being the dreaded spearpoint of our vanguard, dealing terrible damage all around him while forever scarring his enemies with the mental image of him in his red cowboy boots.Tasteless was of course being an absolute god and already reached the throne room, however he was called back by Sean because he hadn't said "Day9 approves" yet. Artosis quickly added that "He hadn't given his approval either"!From Tasteless at 5:56 pm:"Day9 approves, enter the throne room!""Yea, I approve too guys!"Our valiant heroes and Artosis assembled at the gates of the Dark Tower. To their disgrace the severed heads of hundreds of Terran and Protoss players had been spiked and put on top of the dark walls. The cruel reign of the Gracken had to be put at an end. Our marvelous, glorious, godlike commanders all saluted the true hero Huk; and entered the palace of evil. Then Artosis did the same.Our brave squad of heroes, quickly followed by Artosis, ventured through the dark halls of the Gracken's residence. They couldn't imagine the world of torment they were about to enter. Dark shadows were all around them. Demonic spirits chasing them, carefully lurking, but not taking any action until their master commanded them to do so.Tasteless was the first to enter the throne room, the dark marble was of beautfiul craftmanship. This place must have been beautiful once, yet it was now corrupted by the touch of darkness."Well, well. Who do we have here. The best Terran and Protoss have to offer...and Artosis." Even the simplest of phrases bestowed fear and terror if they were spoken by the Gracken."Your reign ends now. This madness has to end! All three races can live together without war!", the valiant and handsome Tasteless said."Don't praise the day before sunset old friend, you haven't even beaten my generals yet. SWARMLORDS, ATTACK!"Zerg lords descended from all corners of this room of madness. With some quick martial arts moves MC shook his attackers off. One by one the zergs fell to a hundred fists and screamed as MC smit them down with beams of fiery light. Naniwa swashbucklered through the waves of forces, having finally accepted his true destiny of pirate he was unstoppable. Death was everywhere around him and with every slash of his sabre he added more and more souls to the realms of death.All of that changed when Machine entered the battlefield. The fearless legionnaire went straight to his target: Taeja. With a wave of force he pushed everyone standing between him and the young Korean boy away, and charged right at him. They were ferociously struggling, Machine had the upper hand until a swift kick from Taeja sent him falling into a deep hellpit. The evil machine didn't give up so quickly, and dragged Taeja along with him. As they fell deeper and deeper the fight was getting heavier."WHERE IS THE SCRAPBOOK! GIVE IT TO ME, ITS MINE, MY OWN!"Taeja desperately tried to get his hands on a rock and stop the fall, but Machine's hits were too brutal and they kept falling."JUST GIVE IT, GIVE IT NOW OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!'Machine hit Taeja right on the head with a vicious strike, and Taeja lost consciousness.A white hall: majestic, mystic, beautiful. The young Korean couldn't believe what his very eyes were seeing. Up ahead a glooming light shone brightly. He walked towards it, almost hypnotized by it's sheer beauty.Out of the light stepped a tall handsome man, he reached his hand to Taeja.It was Boxer."No, my captain, tell me they didn't kill you, tell me you're not dead!" Taeja couldn't believe it."I'm afraid I cannot tell you that my prodigy. It is time to take your place among the Terran lords Taeja. It is time to live forever in the palace of light.""Am I going to die?""Of course you will die. But not yet, first you need to avenge your brothers. First you need to kill the Gracken.""But how?""Give Machine the book and grab the wall tightly. We will use our mystic power to get you out, so you can face our true enemy like the hero we know you are."More figures stepped out of the light. MMA, Bomber, Mvp, Keen, Ryung, Clide and all the other Terran lords from this time until the beginning of time emerged from the light."You can do this, Taeja. We believe." Boxer gently touched Taeja's forehead and then he was back.The demonic Machine was still relentlessely assaulting him, but with his regained strength Taeja casted him away."GO BACK TO THE DARKNESS!"Taeja used all of the Terran strength to throw Machine down the pit."Here is your book", Taeja said as he threw it down.As he fell Machine grasped the book, held it tightly and murmured "Together forever, my precious" before he went through the gates of hell and was consumed by the darkness inside."For Terran." Taeja launched himself upward and re-entered the throne room, striking his enemies down like an angel of vengeance. The fight was brutal, the fight was bloody, the fight was horrifying; but we were winning. When the Gracken stepped down from his throne all of that changed."I have come to destroy you", he whispered as he vanquished Whitera with one malicious blow. He launched magic banelings of such a speed that even Marineking fell to their gory explosion."MERAXES VHAEGON RHAEGNOR!", the old language hadn't been spoken in years. There were no spells as powerful as the ones of the Firstborn people. Above them a huge dark rift appeared in the sky, and from it emerged three shadow dragons."DESTROY THEM, MY CHILDREN, I COMMAND YOU TO DESTROY THEM ALL."Dragons are the embodyment of the old magic, stronger than anything alive in this era.Naniwa looked at his comrades and said: "For Aiur". He soared upwards into the sky and commenced a deadly dogfight with three dragons. Taeja used the magic of the Terran Heaven to cast himself a set of angelic wings, and joined Naniwa in his mid-air dance of death.The Gracken unleashed more shadowmagic and drained the life out of Goody. MC drew his sword and engaged in head to head combat, but the long tail of the Gracken threw him of balance."Even the god of Protoss has to bow before my might!", without hesitation Idra casted MC down to the deepest ring of Hell.Taeja and Naniwa were fighting bravely, but the dragons seemed immortal and they didn't even get scratched by their attacks. Hopelessely and endlessely they were waging war.', Boxer's spirit said."Yes....YES!" Taeja casted an enormous ring of energy and vaporized the dragons with holy light of Terran. The next moment, he and brave Naniwa were soaked up by the eternal light of death,a dn tehy entered the halls of heroes.Meanwhile the fight in the throne room came down to the Gracken versus the always handsome Tasteless and Day 9. O, and Artosis was there too."The Plott brothers, brave but foolish to face me here. By the way Nick you look stunning.""I know...you're a little too tentacly for my taste."Swords were drawn. Tasteless unleashed a flurry of blows but Idra dodged them handily. Day9 casted beams of light but Idra's skin was simply too thick. The Gracken summoned a pack of hell hounds and they quickly jumped Day9, he was in a dance of death but holding on strongly. Tasteless was now head to head with Idra, and as they exchanged blows, victory seemed farther and farther away. The demon lord of hell that he had become was too powerful for a mere mortal like Tasteless, handsome as he may be. But he did not give up, he did not stop fighting. With the last remnants of his power he chopped of two of the Gracken's tentacles. Idra's screams of pain made such a shrieking sound that Tasteless dropped to the ground exhausted and covered his ears with both hands. He wanted to fight, but he had no strength left in his body and couldn't get himself to stand up. Day9 killed the hell hounds with a few quick beams of light, but the insane effort had drained all the magic out of his soul and he fell to the ground in exhaustion pain."The last hope of Terran and Protoss. Defeated. You cannot stop me, it was a critical error in judgement to think otherwise."The Gracken moved closer to the Plott brothers and looked them in the eye."I imagined victory to taste sweeter, it is with regret that I send you to death's keep my old friends." The Gracken raised his shadow sword and was ready to pierce the heroic Plott brothers to death, but then he started screaming. Blood, blood everywhere."NOOO, WHAT IS THIS?! I AM THE GOD OF DEATH ITSELF. YOU CANNOT KILL ME"Behind the evil Gracken stood Artosis, pink shirt around his waist, red cowboy boots on his feet, and a sword staked through Idra's heart in his hand."When you meet your maker, tell him it was Artosis who sent you."Day9 was completely ravished, yet he found the strength to look at his friend with joy and hope in his eyes, and said: "Kill him Dan......... Day9 approves.""I approve too", Artosis whispered, and he slashed the Gracken's head off with one blow.The world was saved. We will never forget our brave, handsome, valiant, heroic, strong, fashionable, ferocious, ruthless heroes.......and Artosis.Especially Artosis. Valor is a poor substitute for numbers.