We’ve all seen the news stories about religious institutions firing or refusing service to those of us they consider undesirable. Unwed mothers, gays, abortionists, non-monogamists and little girls who cut their hair too short.

I think that, as Godless people, there are things we don’t understand about the God fearing. We answer to none but our own moral compass. Religious people don’t have this luxury. They have a deity that they live in fear of, bound to him by their baptismal promise to serve him as opposed to their other God, the devil. In the battle between their two Gods, much of life must be abstained from. Any non-procreative sex, women’s rights and insights, poly-blended fabric, shellfish and tattoos are all strictly forbidden by their code. Depending on the religion, foreskin, pork, or, in fact, all meat may also be forfeit.

Americans may live by rule of law, but religious Americans even more-so. It is unfair to ask Christian institutions like the hallowed Hobby Lobby to pay for birth control for their brazenly non-Christian female employees. We’re basically asking them to send their own staff people to hell. Thus making more soldiers for Satan’s army, and taking away from the strength of their Jesus trinity army. That’s intolerant.

And yet, we have a very clear dilemma. America believes in the separation of church and state. Religious people, by their oath, can not. God fearing individuals are constitutionally incapable of living according to the laws of any state but their Lord’s.

Godly people and institutions need to be more discriminating. The longer we ask them to uphold the laws of our nation, the more unfair it is to them. They have a spiritual imperative to discriminate against those who they see as a threat to their way of life. The fact that that they’re only discriminating against queers and women at this point speaks to their lack of freedom more than their personal restraint. There are way more people and acts in the old testament that garner the full wrath of God.

Because I can’t sit by in good conscious and see people throwing their souls away, I propose that we take the most religious states by population, which happen to be the Southern states (except for Utah) and give them to religious Americans in order to found a new country where the only authority is their Lord, whichever one that is.

Slavery, female servitude, mandatory circumcision, and regular ritual murder of the unwanted via stoning can once again be allowed in the service of the one God. I know some people believe in more than one God, but let’s be honest, those wouldn’t last long in a country who’s only laws are the laws of each individual’s personal God. Through simple math, we can pretty much figure out who the “heathens” will be one week in.

This way we can turn the most miserable states in American into a utopia where the righteous can live their destiny on earth: to run the streets red with the blood of the nonbeliever. And it would all be entirely legal. Obviously, these people would be acting in the interests of their pledged spiritual leader, so justice would come from above if it were necessary.

I understand that not everybody is going to be on board with this at first. You may be a Godless heathen, loathe to give up your home in a for this holy cause. One you were never conscripted to, one you yourself don’t even believe in. I am also without contractual obligation to any known deity. But I do have a moral obligation to my fellow man, and I stand by the concept that a person has every right to practice whatever religion they believe is best for them, or, barring that, whatever religion their parents pledged their souls to as infants. Contracts with infants not being legally binding in America, will, obviously, be totally legitimate in whatever the Godly decided to call their new country. But I digress. Don’t you have any humanity, hypothetical person who is opposed to turning the South in to a religious free-for-all blood bath?

Look at the unfortunate legal team for The Hobby Lobby, look at the Catholic Archdiocese who has had to open itself up to a system that can’t possibly understand that they are fighting the Devil. The literal Devil, and if a few young kids get raped along the way, that’s just collateral damage. They were baptized Catholic, they knew what they agreed to when they signed on to this commission. These people are having their lives ripped apart. Being forced to live next to gays without being allowed to throw rocks at them until they die, being made to financially support female employees who insist on going against God’s will by aborting their unwanted fetuses, or by not aborting their unwanted fetuses if they are unmarried. Or just by being unmarried, or by trying to work. These poor servants of the Lord! Look at the mess their lives have become.

Where is your heart, where is your compassion? We live in a country of diversity, where all men are equal. The vast majority of religious texts are vehemently against this kind of equanimity. The God-fearing man can not live like this. If a person is to take any portion of their religious text literally, they can not, and should not, put up with the laws of man. For their safety and for ours, for their souls, and for our sanity, this is the only clear solution.