"Okay, here goes nothing," Dipper muttered.



He wondered why he was doing this. Visiting the sacred shrine of the guardian of Ilex Forest on the instructions of a baby Eldritch abomination? But this wasn't just what Asmodeus had told him to do. It was what the Voices insisted he do, and how could he resist them?



Honestly, he just wanted to get home and do some gardening. But oh well. Anyway, Celebi was a Grass-type, right? And he was a botanist. Maybe they could get along.



Maybe.



There was a round hole in the bottom of the shrine, just big enough to set a Poke Ball into. Taking a deep breath, Dipper placed the GS Ball into the hole, steeling himself for what came next.



There was a flash of blue light in the sky, and a small, green, pixie-like figure flew down...



I may be Cele but I ain't no Chic,

I spit out mad rhymes and I spit 'em out quick,

As time keeps slipping, I go with the flow,

The name's Eminem, welcome all to my show;



I know who you are, and I've seen who you be,

From the start of this rewritten history,

You're no godslayer, just a guy with some plants,

But you're the one homie with a shred of a chance...



Dipper stared in shock, then tried to make a bolt for it. He didn't get far; Celebi caught him in a psychic headlock and pulled him back towards the shrine.



Whoa whoa whoa, ya can't fight destiny,

So sit back and relax, 'cause you're stuck with me,

We've gotta fix this mess that the parasites started,

And I KNOW you'll do it, 'cause you're damn good-hearted...



"Parasites?" Dipper asked nervously. "You mean... the Hau parasites?"



I mean what I say and I say what I mean,

As sure as my body is leafy and green,

The timeline's a mess with the future unwound,

But we can't let the parasites gain any ground!



"...do you only ever talk in rhyme?" Dipper asked.



The question sounded rhetorical, so Celebi ignored it.



Seek out the flame of the TriHard beast,

To heal what's been glitched in the lands to the east,

Then I'll just take my leave and go gather some friends,

'Cause you're not the first Host to pursue the best ends;



I know that ya want me, but I can't stick close,

'Cause it's all up to me to go gather past Hosts,

The fight be a-brewin', on Mt. Silver's top,

It's the power of Glitches we've all gotta stop!



Dipper had heard enough. Reaching into his bag for a Great Ball, he threw it at the rapping Celebi. It shook once... twice... three times...



Click.



He now had himself an onion fairy.