All the men of the Dire had gathered around a massive table to discuss something of the highest priority. Even Invoker, who considered himself the pinnacle of all that could be and disregarded everything else, understood its importance. All of them, except for Lucifer the Doombringer. The Dire all loved Doom very much, and figured they could not let Valentine’s Day pass without him getting a great big gift from all of them. Several ideas were tossed around the table, some raunchy, some trite, but all of them relating to the seven sins in some way. Eredar suggested a massive orgy and session of worship of Doom’s body, but that was shot down relatively quickly - there wasn’t anything particularly Valentines-ey about it and they had the very same thing planned next Thursday. They did agree on one thing in the end, a massive platter, as big as the table they were seated around, filled to brimming with delectable candies and chocolates of the highest quality. In the middle of it, they also planned to have one of the Radiant heroes as the final course of this indulgent meal.

After discussing what each member would do, they set out. Shadow Demon had corrupted the minds of most of the chocolatiers in the land for just such an occasion and ordered them to create their magnum opi for his beloved. Those who could travel went to far-off kingdoms in search for the finest candies the market had to offer. Weaver decided to use his immense universe-shaping abilities to weave teeny little confectionary in the shape of the traditional red love heart, while Faceless Void and Spirit Breaker went on a little trip to a different plane of existence to see what they had to offer. Those who would not travel would set out to capture that Radiant hero. They had a very specific one in mind, and he just so happened to be wandering outside.

Bloodseeker, Axe, Tidehunter and Dazzle snuck behind bushes - well, Tidehunter crawled on his belly, but he blended into the foliage well enough - as they watched their prey. Rizzrack, out in the (presumed) safety of his Timbersaw suit was busy cutting down trees for no particular reason other than them being trees, and was so caught up in this that he failed to notice the band of warrior encircling him. Axe ran up and taunted Rizzrack, which gave Bloodseeker more than enough time to cast his silence and his ultimate, which left Rizzrack standing perfectly still and looking even more nervous than usual. Tidehunter walked over and, since Reactive Armor hadn’t triggered yet, simply plucked the confused Keen from his suit. Dazzle stood by the sidelines, ready to cast his whole arsenal of spells if something went wrong. They needed him alive for this, after all. “W-why are you doing this?! I feel incredibly naked outside of that suit, I’ll have you know, and this is just… It’s really uncomfortable! I demand to know why you’ve taken me outta my suit!” Tidehunter lifted the Keen up to his face and met the other’s gaze with his own. “You’re gonna make a yummy meal.” he boomed, licking his lips. “Not for us, though, or I would’ve eaten you already. It’s for a very special person.”

Rizzrack, visibly panicking, kicked against Tidehunter’s chest and writhed his arms, but to no avail - the kraken’s grip was just too strong. Even if he did escape, there were three others waiting for him, so before long he gave up and laid slack.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Dire had gathered in one of Doom’s many spacious kitchens - this one had gathered a thin sheen of dust on its counters, as if it hadn’t been used in a long time. Doom wouldn’t notice them in here.

Underlord had provided transportation, of course, and they all diligently went about placing chocolates, cookies, hard boiled candy and many other tasty little treats in aesthetically pleasing patterns on a massive silver plate. All of them, except for Lycan, who wasn’t a very big fan of silver; he spent his time baking tiny fruit pies: cherry, strawberry and raspberry, to fit the red Valentine’s theme. After a little while, the hunting party arrived, a stripped-down Rizzrack in hand. After tying his hands and feet to his back and stuffing a gag in his mouth, they laid him in the center of the feast, like a great big raspberry to top this indulgent cake. Dazzle also gave him a potion of drowsiness, just to make sure the Keen wouldn’t move around too much and disrupt the arrangement.

A bit later, in one of Doom’s dining halls that had a big circular table, the demon himself was being led into the room, blindfolded, by a few of his servants that had been clued into what was happening. Doom was none too pleased that he didn’t know what was going on, but acquiesced regardless as he knew that his minions only had his best interests in minds. He was seated in a large and comfy throne-like chair and his blindfold was taken off. What he saw was all of the members of his faction huddled around a massive silver plate with an even larger cloche atop it. Now Doom knew he was in good hands - but he now desperately wanted to know what was under there! With a demanding upward wave of his hand, Visage’s birds lifted the cloche to reveal a stunning bouquet of chocolates, sweets, biscuits and pies and a dazed-looking Keen, too. This, as anyone could tell with a cursory glance, was far too much for a regular man to eat - but Doom, with his famously voracious belly, was anything but.

Doom made a little mental note to repay them later, as he figured this must’ve taken ages to set up. “Thank you all very much for this wonderful gift.” he said in a dignified manner, befitting of a king. He gently reached forward to pick up one of Lycan’s tarts, each one of them about as big as one of his fingers, and deftly placed it in his mouth, taking his time to savor its delightfully sweet fruity taste, with the barest hint of tartness lingering in the back of his mouth. With a nod, he confirmed that it was good, and many let out a quiet little cheer in response. He reached in and grabbed another, and one more after that. His eating grew quicker by the minute, it now being less about savoring each individual treat and more just stuffing his face with the sugary goodness. His belly bulged to match, soon forcing him to forgo his armor and just chow away in his undies. Not that anyone really minded. His mind a confectionary-induced haze, Doom now just shoveled cakes and cookies by the handful down his throat, and soon, his stomach bulged out beyond the reach of his arms, leaving him unable to take any more. He wouldn’t take that, though, and ordered his enthusiastic fan club to keep the festivities going by feeding him by hand, and they gladly complied. In turn, each member walked over to the table, snatched a treat, then walked back over to deposit it in Doom’s mouth. Some of the smaller heroes had to stand on others’ backs, but they managed just fine.

After only a few more minutes, the platter had been picked clean save for a few scattered crumbs and a Keen who had now fully gotten to his senses. Unfortunately for Rizz, Doom had just enough space in him for a dessert. With a come-hither finger motion - the best Doom’s near food-coma-ridden body could offer - he ordered that the Keen be brought over. Rizzrack was untied and lifted, his squirming arms and legs proving feeble once more.

He tried to bargain, “H-He, uh, he’s not gonna eat me, right? Crap, he’s really gonna eat me. Haven’t you, uh, had enough, big guy? You just ate all those things and you gotta be stuffed at this point. Right? I’m just way too much for you at this point.”, but his words fell on deaf ears as he was carried over to Doom’s open maw and deposited feet-first. He could feel something slither along his leg, and when he looked down at the demon’s wide-open throat, he noticed Doom’s tongue had crept its way along his thigh and was currently in the process of pulling him further down. He tried to escape, propping his hands against Doom’s teeth in an attempt to lift himself up, but the forceful hand of Axe prevented him from climbing up any higher. He felt one of his legs slide along Doom’s uvula and into his wet and warm throat. Despite his best efforts, Rizzrack was forced to slide down that cavern, the walls of Doom’s throat clinging tightly to his form. Just a few moments later the only thing he could see was the light from a chandelier hanging right above him, and then, with one more big gulp, nothing. All he felt were the walls of Doom’s stomach kneading against him, covering him in acid and occasionally brushing him with crumbled-up cookies. Some whole ones, too. From the outside, you could see Doom’s stomach distend whenever Rizzrack futilely tried to break free. Doom burped shamelessly, then patted his stomach. “What an excellent end to an excellent meal. Thank you all very much.” he said, and they all went in for a big hug. Now to sleep off that food coma.