WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking plot twist, it was revealed that those candidates which news outlets have been referring to as “the final five” have been Cylons the whole time.

In hindsight this revelation makes sense, as Cylons are a humanoid robot race that finds human belief systems heretical and calls for our imminent death.

“It’s truly alarming to discover this,” said White House press secretary Glen Larson. “They said this has all happened before and will happen again, however I really thought we had more time.”

Technology expert Gaius Baltar said that the news is not necessarily a bad thing, adding that he is curious if Hillary Clinton is down to frak.

Follow Stubhill News for the latest election coverage.







