True Detective loves its vices. Oh, the whole series is a protracted, grisly meditation on vices. Drugs, drink, adultery, murder, mendacity, navel-gazing: True Detective has got ‘em all in one big tangle. For the second season, though, the show has introduced a curious new bad habit: the electronic cigarette.

Huh.

Among True Detective's glasses of straight whiskey and greasy hair, the e-cigarette beams out like a robo-lighthouse. Its little glowing signal of blue light cries out: Look at me, but also avoid me!

The show has pressed this nicotine wand into the chillest of hands: those of Rachel McAdams's Detective Ani Bezzerides. Bezzerides is cool. She’s got a rumbling voice, a messy crop of hair, super-tight jeans, and a narrowed stare that could kill a man. Here’s something she says one time: “I don’t distinguish between good and bad habits.” Girl, whoa. What a line to drop.

At the same time, however—complicating all of this cool—she smokes an e-cigarette.

The show doesn’t leave you hanging for long before someone comments on it, specifically on whether it is cool. Colin Farrell’s character promptly tells Detective Bezzerides, “You pull off that e-cig. Not a lot of people do.” A very cool person, Farrell seems to want to persuade the viewer, can look cool smoking an e-cigarette.

Just when you thought you knew the truth, more information gets dragged into the sulky light. In the next episode, Taylor Kitsch’s character scowls at Bezzerides and asks, “Is that a fucking e-cigarette?” His exhale practically verbalizes: Not cool, man.

It’s time for some true detecting: Can smoking an e-cigarette ever look cool?

First, some methodology. We are not asking: Would someone look cooler if their e-cigarette were replaced with a real cigarette? The answer would always be yes. If you’re holding a piece of celery with peanut butter on it or a tiny fishing rod, you’d look cooler if it turned into a cigarette. The question we are asking is: Is using an e-cigarette cooler than sitting perfectly still and not doing anything at all?

Article of Evidence 1: Courtney Love in an advertisement. Love is smoking alone in a banquet hall. An evident royal asks her not to smoke, and Love berates her because it's not a cigarette, it's a fucking e-cigarette. The marketers of e-cigarettes think they have painted the picture of a rebel; instead they have told an advertising story about a slouching woman who is a rude houseguest. On par with a stereotype about vegans: People smoking e-cigarettes love telling you why their choice is superior.

Is it cool? Nope.