What's missing from 'Missing' is genuine suspense and intrigue. Not only can Ashley Judd's character do it all right off the bat, but everything is simply too tidy to be believed.

Michael: Intrigued by the promos and having heard some rather good hype about this new mid-season entry, I thought I’d give Missing a spin. A mother loses a son in a picturesque foreign land and she’ll go wherever she needs go to get him back. Along the way there will be action, adventure and more peppered throughout. Sounds like it starts off on the right foot, but things went downhill for me rather quickly as the minutes ticked by. So I’m just going to cut right to the chase and start hacking and chopping …

Honestly, it’s not the premise or even the story I have a problem with. It’s how all the pieces fit into place on the show. They do so way too conveniently. Okay … I’m fibbing: Honestly, they fall into place too damned easily for my taste.

But even before everything got rocking and rolling, I was initially nonplussed at the manner in which Paul Winstone (Sean Bean, Game of Thrones) was made to slough his son Michael out of the picture in order for Bean’s character to get blown to kingdom come and have things move forward. It was so comically blatant a request that Michael retrieve the ball left behind, you automatically knew something sinister was about to take place. And it did. Buh-bye, Paul.

I don’t know about you, Ivey, but that was my initial impression at the start of things. Still, I was able to put it behind me so I could get on with the show.

Ivey: It’s a rule somewhere that Bean has to die in everything he takes a role in. It is actually getting a little sad. Honestly, I had a big problem getting past the concept; it felt like a movie set up, something that Ashley Judd would be great in, if you know, she wasn’t starring in this. The main problem though, is how long will the show go on? Just how long are Nick and his mother going to be separated? Once she’s rescued him, I can’t see any logical way for this story to continue, the way she talks about separating Michael from her old life.

Michael: I hear you, but you know as well as I do just about anything is possible in television.

Here’s a big one that didn’t sit well with me: Becca (Ashley Judd) received one hell of an ass-whupping by the assassin who visited Michael’s room when she first got to Paris. (During the fight she gave as well as she got, showing some pretty deadly moves. That was enjoyable.) Seeking a little assistance afterward from an old friend (Adriano Giannini, Ocean’s Twelve) who she’s obviously had romantic involvement with somewhere in her past, we’re expected to believe — even after he has to aid her in removing her top to bathe because of her injuries — that, the next day, she’s completely chipper and doesn’t seem to experience any pain / soreness / stiffness / anything? That beating didn’t faze her in the least? Really? Or were the drugs she took so good she bounced back without any problem whatsoever? Look: If whatever pills she popped were that good, she’d still be laid out flat on her back, unconscious and unable to move. The credibility was just not there.

Ivey: You’d think eight seasons of 24 would have desensitized audiences to that little trick by now.

Michael: But wait … let’s back up just a little further: Becca snapped to attention as her former CIA self that quickly? Later we find out she’s basically been happy to lie low as a “PTA mom” more than anything else but there she is, opening a big ‘ole can of whup-ass on Sneaky Pete. For me? Just. Not. Believable.

Ivey: That doesn’t bother me nearly as much. The writers were nice enough to layer in a scene letting us know she’s stayed in shape, and you have to imagine that some of those things are like riding a bicycle — you do know how to ride a bicycle, right?

Michael: Yes. I know how to ride a bicycle. *glares* But news flash: Big difference between riding a bike or jogging to keep fit and drop-kicking bad guys against a wall.

I have plenty more quibbles: The packet of photos of Michael that Becca found … her good fortune in making off on the scooter during that chase scene (Keys readily available in the ignition? Gas in the tank? No … wait … she’s a seconds-flat whiz at hot-wiring all sorts of vehicles, right?) … effortlessly shorting out a security system … the placed-just-right Post-it® note discovered by Agent Dax. The uncanny coincidences go on and on and on all the way to Düsseldorf. (Where I’m certain she’ll end up at some point in an episode or two.)

Ivey: Yeah, I know … it really is amazing to find vehicles with GAS in them, it’s a miracle! But I digress …

Michael: Let’s add dippy continuity problems and unbelievable situations to the mix as well, shall we? (That packet of photos which became so much flotsam and jetsam in the river at the end? Hello! They were tucked neatly in the manilla folder! They’re not going to explode all over the place when they hit the drink! *sigh* But that’s just me and my pickiness.)

My point: Too many concurrences, too much synchronicity. I don’t know about you, but I like my action to be somewhat messy, not arrow-straight and lined up all in a row. This is spoon-fed, pablumified suspense. And that’s why I don’t believe I’ll be tuning in for very long to this vehicle.

Ivey: I’m with you. I’ve seen several TV people (including one on our staff whom I’m sure will take us to task in the comments section) who like the show so far, but I just don’t get it. I guess it’s not important to tell a logical story when someone is kicking arse, eh?

I hate that we just sat here and took pot shots at the show for a thousand words. So let me say one good thing about it: Cliff Curtis is a rock star that continues to get cast in sub-par roles. If this were a summer show, it would have been much more likely to have won me over just because there wouldn’t have been anything else better on. Some really good shows have gotten early spring launches before, but truly doubt Missing will be on that list in the future.

Michael: And now I’m with you. We did poke holes aplenty … but I’m just callin’em as I see’em. Additionally, I stand in solidarity with you about Cliff Curtis. I dig the way the dude fleshes out a role. But he, alone, is not enough to keep me chugging along with this program.

Quote:

“I was a Boy Scout. Den mothers do not kill ex-SISDE assassins.” — Agent Dax Miller

Photo Credit: ABC