Political Positions

A) The Great Cthulhu cares little for mortal affairs and mortal politics. However, as a presidential candidate, it must take a stand. Cthulhu is, therefore, pro-choice because it cares little for what you do. However, it's in favor of keeping humans alive, so that it can taunt and toy with them before they go insane and it eats them.

A) Cthulhu accepts any donation which a citizen wishes to make. It doesn't oppose contributions from organizations, conglomerates, or conspiracies. In fact, it accepts any and all types of financial assistance or other donations. Preferably, large quantities of currency will be sent along with human brains,other donated organs, or your first born.

A) The Great Cthulhu views our foreign neighbors as equals to the United States. It encourages trade in all forms, including slave trade, child trafficking, and it will continue to give Primary Trading Partner status to the country which sells the most children worldwide. Cthulhu will provide support to those countries which do not commit any of the following acts:

Population control. The more humans alive, the more for it to toy with, drive insane, or puree.

Genocide: See above.

Captial Punishment: See above.

A) Our future leader would ban a standing U.S. Military. Cthulhu does not feel that humans should have the privilege oo killing other humans, it reserves that right to itself.

The Great Cthulhu's solution to the United Nations will be to eat all current U.N. delegates. It will then build the U.U.N. (Unilateral United Nations)

Our Great Leader is greatly opposed to nuclear weapons in the possession of others, because the melting of human flesh, and mass destruction, are not mortal rights.

A) Good question. Within the first 100 days of its reign, the Great Cthulhu pledges to destroy the following cults:

Disney.

Mass Media.

Yuppies.

Kentucky Fried Chicken.

People who use the phrase "information superhighway".

They will die last.

A) The Great Cthulhu's solution to massive overspending by the government on the weak, will be to go right to the heart of the problem, by destroying the elderly, poor, and clinically insane. It does not need a big gun, and Mars will be eaten immediately following Earth's demise.

As of yet, the almighty Cthulhu has not chosen a running mate. If you feel you know a good candidate, or perhaps you've eaten one lately, please submit your candidate suggestions to: runningmate AT cthulhu DOT org

As stated above, Cthulhu will treat all countries in the same manner as it treats the United States. No study will be needed, since to merely gaze upon it is insanity itself.

A) You are wise. You will be eaten second to last.

A) Cthulhu will have no problem dealing with Congress, as they will be the first to be eaten. The budget deficit will shrink drastically once Cthulhu cuts unnecessary spendings like Defense, Welfare and Social Security. Mass support of Cthulhu will raise the its awareness of the need to take control of our suffering country, and should lead to its return. The Great Cthulhu will awaken in time to take its presidential oath.

A) The Great Cthulhu is opposed to any an other such institutions. They sound way too nice. Anyone caught committing such a henious act will suffer multiple seconds of torture before being destroyed.

A) The Great Cthulhu will not give humans that kind of decision over their own fate. They are far too weak to be able to handle that kind of pressure. Ever notice how your potential for destruction increases when your in that state? This will only enhance Cthulhu's domestic policy.

A) As long as Cthulhu does all the testing, it's a-okay.

A) The Great Cthulhu will see to it that those receiving redundancy pay will suffer greatly, well, more so than normal.

A) The Great Cthulhu is in perfect health, and due to its high metabolism and steady diet of human flesh, has no pathetic human need for exercise. In fact, those humans caught jogging with be destroyed immediately.

A) Well since that isn't actually a question, Cthulhu is taking the stance that it will not read anything, just look at the pictures.