Being a parent has brought me an incredible amount of knowledge that I never knew existed. It’s been a sequence of events that have reminded me that life is far from perfect, yet so perfect all at once. Children have been that light in my world making my imperfect life, positively perfect.

When my daughter was just a wee 2nd grader, she came home to tell me about a boy in her class that she thought was really nice. Sometimes I tend to think that grade school kids are smarter than adults when it comes to basic friendships. They are attracted to the innocence in a person, as well as their kindness, rather than that of just pure attraction. They see exactly what is right in front of them. They see kind actions and are drawn to the people that perform them. So, where in this innocence did adults go wrong or the bigger question, at what point do children become jaded?

Unfortunately, changes begin once puberty shows up. The word attraction takes on a new meaning and appearances become more important than they used to be. For the youthful and innocent, the physical attraction is there, but it doesn’t outweigh the emotional aspect — yet. I feel the true change occurs sometime in middle school. Who doesn’t remember the popular girl that all the boys liked. She was probably cute, maybe outspoken, and going through quite a bit of physical body changes.

As I’m finding out as an adult with my own son — they don’t have a clue. Everyone matures at different times. Obviously girls go through this way earlier and boys are convinced “girls have cooties” and not “booties” at this stage. They are oblivious to the world of girls. They know that they exist, but that’s about it. The ones who have older siblings are introduced to the relationship concept much earlier. However, this doesn’t mean that they have these feelings, but they might have a better understanding of what’s to come.

My daughter always asks me, “When are the boys going to notice me because I notice them?” As a parent you want to tell your child that they are too young, but in reality, little crushes are actually a small part of a big life. It’s like the toddler playing house. They are learning ways to act in society. If they see a relationship, they take that as normal too and will follow in society’s footsteps. If this natural progression wasn’t the case, American Girl would be out of business!

There is the other side of the coin. Talking to your children and educating them on this part of life is key, as well as being the role model that they need. It is extremely important for children to know that innocent relationships form the foundation for social relationships in the future. To be clear, in no way, shape or form am I speaking of any type of adult relationship. This is simply about learning how to communicate in a social environment when speaking with others that seem interesting or attract you for absolutely any reason.

So, when my daughter talks about her crush, she doesn’t talk anything about love, she tells me about how nice he is to her and how she would love to go get icecream with him so they can talk about video games. It’s innocent and a beautiful thing to see — a child learning how to form relationships, while still so new in this world.

So what’s love got to do with it? Absolutely nothing! Instead, this lesson in communicative relationships is another building block in a person’s progressive understanding of life. It’s a positive step toward feeling confident in such a diverse society and its an important part of your personal learning curve.