Local Imam Weighs In: “The Dress Is Blue And Haram”

By Yahya Ridwan

Los Angeles, CA (7:00 P.M. PST)–Masjid Al-Haqq’s Imam and social media heavyweight Yusuf Abu Raas has confirmed that the dress making ripples across the internet this evening is in fact blue and “haram beyond any doubt.”

The imam also remarked that “those claiming the dress is white and gold are clearly afflicted with weak faith.”

Masjid Al-Haqq has been abuzz ever since the dress went viral, with regular congregant Ahmed Shams observing that “things haven’t been this turbulent since #DeflateGate.” The nightly halaqa was canceled and an emergency town hall addressing the color, shade, and appropriateness of the dress was convened.

“We feel personally responsible toward the youth in these trying times,” said Imam Abu Raas. “Rest assured, the dress has been condemned for its lack of modesty.”

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Yahya Ridwan is a staff writer and Global Issues Correspondent for The Hummus.