A small handful of great individuals are not content to get their names in the footnotes of history and then quietly expire. No, these brave few achieve greatness and then top it off by kicking the bucket in a way so ridiculously implausible that people would have talked about them for years even if they hadn't done anything else. These are five historical figures who died deaths that would make sure their names were written just a little bit bigger in the history books. Advertisement

President Felix Faure: Sexed to Death Continue Reading Below Advertisement Think of him as the William Howard Taft of French presidents, both in his relative innocuousness and in terms of facial hair. He was nominated to run for president because his party wanted someone as plain vanilla as possible in order to avoid controversy. Faure seemed to fit the bill perfectly. Until the day he died, that is. Cause of death:

Bow-chicka-bow-wow. On February 16, 1899, French president Felix Faure decided to make a booty call in his own office. Now who would have the privilege of receiving such a dubious invitation? None other than Marguerite Steinheil, a total babe who was not unlike the neighborhood bicycle, if you get our drift. Right about when they were reaching the petit mort (French for orgasm) Faure had himself a grand mort (French for having a fatal stroke right in the middle of orgasm). Continue Reading Below Advertisement We've been making arrangements to see that we meet our makers in more or less the exact same way. Marguerite then went on to sleep with a number of other famous dudes including King Sisowath of Cambodia. Now we aint' sayin' she's a gold digger, but she really decided not mess around with the lower income bracket. Still, congrats to Faure. Not only did he die happy, but he also died the way he lived: serving as a symbol to the world for the people of France, where infidelity in the workplace is what hockey is to Canada. And who wouldn't want to help him shuffle off his pants/mortal coil? Guy had the bitchingest mustache in all of Western Europe. Continue Reading Below Advertisement