SPC-169-J

Test firing of an Ahab-2 unit off the Eastern coast of Brazil.

Item #: SPC-169

Object Class: Megalodon

Shark Punching Contingencies: Due to its immense size, direct punching of SPC-169 will prove impractical. As such, Project Ahab has been established for the full-scale pugilization of SPC-169.

Project Ahab consists of simultaneous Dreadnought-class punchery from five separate sources in the southern Atlantic Ocean:

Ahab-1 "Fist of Neptune": 50 satellites currently located in stationary orbit over critical points of SPC-169's anatomy. These satellites are capable of releasing 100kg tungsten-osmium sculptures of fists into Earth's atmosphere, which will use the natural acceleration of Earth's gravity to punch SPC-169 at terminal velocity. Ahab-2 "Fist of Triton": Ten volleys of 20 intercontinental ballistic missiles modified for shark-punching purposes with Kaiju-grade Doomfist tips. Ahab-3 "Fist of Calypso": Two-stage operation in which Megara-277EA92R (a van-sized asteroid in an L4 orbit around the Earth) is 1. implanted with several boxing gloves, and 2. magnetized directly onto SPC-169. Ahab-4 "Fist of Cthulhu": 500 modified drilling rigs will be installed on the exterior of SPC-169 for the purpose of applying continuous punching action over the course of several years. Ahab-5 "Fist of Nemo": [DATA EXPUNGED] will be trained in bareknuckle boxing techniques and summoned to challenge SPC-169 to fisticuffs.

Description: SPC-169 is the largest shark ever encountered by the Shark Punching Center, believed to be between 2,000 and 8,000 km in length. Radar analysis has detected a hardened outer carapace, indications of a state of dormancy, and, unfortunately, a complete lack of exterior indications of punching. SPC-169 is believed to have existed since the Pre-Cambrian era. Due to the ethical ramifications of a shark having remained unpunched for that long, Project Ahab is to be executed as soon as possible.

Addendum 1 - Shark Identification Discrepancies:

<Begin Log> Dr. Swayze: Sir, we have reason to believe that SPC-169 is not a shark. Administrator: Explain. Dr. Swayze: SPC-169 has an exoskeleton, as well as multiple sets of limbs and feelers. In truth, I believe SPC-169 is a very large arthropod. Administrator: Interesting. Tell me, is SPC-169 located in the ocean? Dr. Swayze: Yes. Administrator: Is it larger than a dolphin? Dr. Swayze: [Audible sigh] Yes. Administrator: Does it have lots of pointy parts that could potentially be dangerous? Then it's a shark! This is entry-level sharkspotting; you really should know better at this point. Dr. Swayze: Sir, with all due respect: by that logic, sperm whales, orcas, and narwhals could also be called "sharks". Administrator: …oh God, no. <End Log>

Following this meeting, an emergency initiative was established for the investigation and immediate punching of SPC-170 ("Moby Dick Sharks"), SPC-171 ("Free Willy Sharks"), and SPC-172 ("Sword Sharks?!").

Addendum 2 - Ethics Committee Review: