What will they find next? Goldbricking beavers, just playing in the mud. “Stop swimming on your back like that, you look like an otter! All you need is an abalone!” the other beavers will say. Or, in the beehive, “Hive-Unit 10043303 you have failed to meet your projected nectar quota three weeks in a row!”

Scientists have discovered the slacker ant. I quote, in full, an article found in the Sunday 16 November 2003 issue of the Japan Times (without permission, I apologize in advance to the Kyodo news service and will of course remove the article if they so desire, just let me know guys):