Acme's Wine Bottle Klein Bottle

After 5 years of experimentation, I'm delighted to offer the Acme Klein Bottle Wine Bottle.

Yes, you can store wine in it, and pour wine into and out of it. But no, it's not very practical as a wine carafe.

The chimerical Wine Bottle Klein Bottle is now reality! As impractical as it is elegant.

The Wine Bottle Klein Bottle is difficult to fill with wine, because of vapor-lock. As you pour water (or wine) into it, there's no place for the air to go. So the wine is trying to go down while the air is trying to go up the spout. Result is slow filling. Pouring wine out is equally frustrating.

I've made the Wine Bottle Klein Bottle in two different shapes. The long-handle is shown above.

Not only are these difficult to fill and empty, but cleaning them is a real challenge. Since there's little air circulation within the Klein Bottle, moisture doesn't evaporate. Worse, you can't reach in with a towel. So you'll need to dry the interior surface using alcohol. I've had good luck with a pair of small magnets wrapped in cotton cloth.

I've designed these to balance with or without contents. However, they're easy to tip over, especially when empty.

Again, these are about the most impractical Wine Bottle / Caraffes ever made. But what's life with only utility and efficacy? Living without spontaneity, risk and danger? Besides, what else costs under 100 clams?

photo below shows the short-handled variety:

The short handled Wine Bottle Klein Bottle below:

notice the handworked glass pouring spout!

First, this isn't the most practical wine bottle. In fact, I don't recommend that you use it for wine, water, or any liquid, because once you put liquid inside, it's hard to get out. And it's even harder to clean and dry the "inside". Despite its limited utility, this is a real 3-D immersed Klein Bottle. Think of this as a mathematical shape which comes close to a wine carafe. Guaranteed to frustrate even the most dedicated wine connoisseur: it's difficult to fill, difficult to pour, and difficult to clean. I've made 2 styles - a short handle and a long handle. Both represent formidable glassblowing - it's a challenge to get the curves just right, and the welding around the mouth requires exacting torchwork. (The pour-spout is especially hard to do) I've made about a dozen of these - they're not easy! (I showed my first experimental model at the 2006 TED conference - after 5 years of experiments and refinements, I've made these two versions.) For optimal aerodynamic performance, your Wine Bottle Klein Bottle has smooth, spline-like curves. You can take advantage of this lustrous continuity to differentiate this manifold everywhere! Tested by simulated undergraduates and fully covered by Acme's Unconditional Guarantee. It's best considered more of a Klein Bottle and less of a Wine Bottle. This limited utility, rustproof, borosilicate zerovolume manifold can be yours for a mere $95... noticeably less than the cost of a Napa Valley vineyard! To order a Long Handle Klein Bottle Wine Bottle for $95, click here: Or, you can enjoy the frustration of a short-handle Wine-Bottle-Klein-Bottle for a mere $90: - Height 210mm (8 inches)

- Diameter 120 mm (5 inches)

- Weight: 275gm (10 oz)

- Displacement 1.2 liters (40 fl ounces)

- Actual volume 0.0 ml (0 fl ounces)

- Includes calibration decal Like ACME's other fine Klein Bottles, this is handcrafted from pure Borosilicate Glass ... Pyrex, Kimax, Bomex, or Simax. It has a bulk density: 2.23 gm/cm3 and expands just 0.000326% per degree C. This means that it'll shrink only a few microns when you trek from Tucson to Nome. Nor should you worry about it dissolving -- we've tested samples in water, acetone, methyl-ethyl-ketone, maple syrup, and jello.

Go to Acme's Home Page, home to plenty of one-sided Klein Bottles

This page last updated June 2, 2018