Bump n’ Grind: The Bear and the Grindcore Fair Share:

Hello my dearest and dirtiest toilet grinders. The grown ass man pretending to be George W. Bush on the internet has handed the reins of Bump n’ Grind to me, a grown ass man pretending to be a polar bear with a mustache on the internet. I’ll let you fine folks decide which one of those is weirder and/or sadder. Uh, anyway, I’ve got some treats for you weirdos today in the form of two bands that grind and two bands that are grind-y. Onward!

Cryptic Void – Psychomanteum

Gulf Coast Grindcore is a phrase that immediately conjures thoughts of Insect Warfare and Hatred Surge in the minds of metalheads everywhere. Houston grind unit Cryptic Void unsurprisingly picks up where those bands left off, but lean a bit more heavily towards the groovin’ destruction of Hatred Surge than the all out chaos of Insect Warfare. Psychomanteum, released in early May, is only about 8 minutes long spread across 11 songs but it’s a powerhouse 8 minutes. Show these dudes some love on their Facebook page and buy everything they’ve ever done here.

Shitshifter – Intruders Calling Shitshifter straight up grind is a bit disingenuous. Their sound includes heavy doses of sludge, doom, and noise and is honestly all the better for it. Each time the music slows down to “crush” it’s really just a sneaky and infectious way of setting you up on tee to pummel you when they inevitably switch speeds back to “kill.” They may not be a grind purists cup of tea, but when the combination of sounds is this fucking good, who cares? Like them on Facebook and throw money at a great album with a killer cover here. Toxicology – Paid by the Kill If you’re crying foul over the not quite full on grind of Shitshifter, then you’re here looking for Toxicology. I don’t know what to say other than these dudes rip. They’re a tad crusty and perhaps a bit hardcore, but at the end of the day they just grind. Every song is a one minute wall demolishing session with all the punk/thrash riffs you could ever want. Unfortunately there are only a couple of demos and one song up on their bandcamp right now, but a recent Facebook post says the band is focusing on writing and recording with news about their upcoming releases(!!!) coming soon. Give them a like at the aforementioned Facebook, and demolish your house to their music here. Pink Mass – Posthumously Curious Pink Mass describe themselves as “PANSEXUAL PERVERT PUNK GRIND,CONJURING THE UNHOLY POWERS OF SEX, SATAN AND VIOLENCE TO DESTROY THE EARS AND GENITALS OF EARTH’S HUMAN FILTH.” If you didn’t hit play halfway through that sentence, then we just can’t be friends. I really don’t know how to sum up their sound any better than they just did, so I’ll just say that I am totally in love with this band. You absolutely need to go to their Facebook page and check out footage of their live shows. Said footage includes, but is not limited to, executioner hoods, cock spikes, all manner of bondage gear, a man in a wooden stock, and wax play. Please throw money at them here so they can keep doing awesome things. (Photos VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)

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