Last weekend, 27-year-old Nicholas Gonzales got drunk in Louisville, Kentucky. Then, as drunk people tend to do, he made a stupid decision and allegedly broke into a nearby firehouse, smashing one of the building's windows. When firefighters went to investigate the sound of broken glass, they found Gonzales in the midst of an act that they probably weren't expecting: he was reportedly masturbating onto their gear, which he'd removed from their lockers.

The firefighters detained Gonzales, which I'm sure was an interesting ordeal, until police arrived and arrested him. But why was Gonzales allegedly masturbating onto the firefighter's gear, according to the police report?

"Because I wanted to."

Fair enough. Gonzales was charged with burglary, public intoxication and criminal mischief.

UPDATE: A reader tipped us to the Twitter, Amazon (very NSFW) Tumblr accounts of gay porn star Donny Wright. The reader noted a resemblance between the two, and the name on the Amazon account is Nicholas Gonzalez. And, according to his Twitter account, Donny Wright aka Nicholas Gonzalez was in Kentucky last week.

Feel like I went thru a time machine. Kentucky !! — Donny Wright (@DonnyWrightXXX) February 15, 2013

Not saying the alleged firehouse masturbator was definitely Donny Wright, but this is certainly an interesting twist on the story.

[Image via WHAS 11]