Julie and I have experienced a miscarriage. We found out we were pregnant in early November. On Thanksgiving, an episode occurred that demonstrated Julie’s life might be in jeopardy as well as the life of the baby. There was a glimmer of hope that all could go well though; we had to give it time. A week before Christmas 2017, we learned that our second child wasn’t going to make it. We had a miscarriage.

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Not talking about miscarriage hurts; hiding it hurts even more. We decided late at night, after it was all over, to change that. This is a thread that Julie and I shared on Twitter as part of our healing process. Please read it and consider sharing your miscarriage story too. Talking about miscarriage helps. Silence is not strength.

Pregnancy loss and miscarriage is the worst. 😔 Praying for all the other moms and dads out there dealing with this too. — Julie S (@Jules014) December 23, 2017

The past month has been a living hell. Job opportunities vanishing, baby lost, baby actually okay, no baby actually lost and @Jules014 life in danger. We have hidden all this but it has become too much to bear. "You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through, So Be Kind." https://t.co/SrHJGbnq6a — Chris Short (@ChrisShort) December 23, 2017

Thank you to all of my wonderful friends who have guided me through my tumult of emotions so that I could handle life as it was coming at us hard and fast. Thank you to family for taking care of Max so I can focus on @Jules014. — Chris Short (@ChrisShort) December 23, 2017

Thank you to all the fantastic doctor's, nurses, volunteers, and the awesome therapy dog at @HenryFordNews today for taking such good care of us. Your grace and candor has not gone unappreciated. — Chris Short (@ChrisShort) December 23, 2017

Most importantly thank you to @Jules014 for dealing with all of this and allowing me to focus on finding a job the past few weeks. I cannot imagine the pressure you're been under while I'm plugging away in the office. — Chris Short (@ChrisShort) December 23, 2017

I cannot imagine what it was like while I was in Austin at KubeCon trying to network and find an opportunity while you were here in Michigan trying to take care of Max, the house, and yourself. You epitomize a strong woman, @Jules014. You are my everything. — Chris Short (@ChrisShort) December 23, 2017

You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through, So Be Kind. I cannot tell you how many times I've thought that the past month. The struggle is so REAL. Be a good person even when people don't earn it. Be the person you wish was there for you when you needed it. — Chris Short (@ChrisShort) December 23, 2017

Miscarriages suck. No parent should ever have to go through losing a child (in or out of utero). I cannot believe how much I've learned through this. My perspective on life and society has completely changed through all this. AMA — Chris Short (@ChrisShort) December 23, 2017

I say all this not seeking pity or sorrow. This is part of how I heal. This is the first time in at least two weeks I've been able to be myself. Don't not mourn for us. Mourn for those that couldn't handle this as well as we have so far. — Chris Short (@ChrisShort) December 23, 2017

We hide our feelings too much. We often only put our best foot forward while calling ourselves "real". We have bad days. We don't live Instagram worthy lives day in and day out. Do you know how many women I know but never knew had a miscarriage? I've lost count. That's FUBAR. — Chris Short (@ChrisShort) December 23, 2017

If you have ever had a miscarriage know that you are loved. Exude the strength you have clearly forged in yourself. Reach out to others that have been there. Tell them you know. Tell them they are loved too. — Chris Short (@ChrisShort) December 23, 2017

See also