Being a villain isn't cheap. So, like most actors, rock stars, and former Presidents, villains raise funds for the administration of havoc and execution of attempts to rule the world by selling out. The Villain Chair, available at the bargain price of $7,146--which I believe is more than Richard Gere paid to spend a week with Julia Roberts--is the latest in evil-wreakers' moves to earn some extra cash. Look, they even put a furry white pussy cat in one of their marketing photos. I'm surprised no one shelled out the extra couple C-notes it would have taken to get a shot of Verne Troyer mugging pinky to lip in the chair.

Off topic, but thinking of the Villain Chair obviously makes me think of Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget, and thinking of Inspector Gadget makes me think of the Doo-doodoo-doo-doo Inspector Gadget theme song, which reminds me of a joke I heard last night that's not about Inspector Gadget. What kind of pants do Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim, denim, denim.

But when you say "Denim, denim, denim", you say it sing-songy to the tune of the Super Mario Bros. underground pipe music. You know?

Yeah...I guess it's the kind of joke that doesn't really work on paper.

So this Villain Chair, this resting place for nefarious derrieres, it's made of steel, chrome, and 20 padded leather facets curved into a concave shroud of malevolence. Continuing the climb towards complete, dastardly authenticity, the chair also--wait for it--swivels. Should Master desire it, fabricator Suck UK can also produce custom colors for the leather panels. Measurements are 35.4" x 35.4" x 47.2". Almost as big as the egos of those who can actually afford it.