Chris Sevier is suing the Harris County, Texas district clerk, Governor Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton for not allowing him the right to marry his Mac laptop. He’s going to have to get in line for Mr. Paxton, who is busy trying to dodge fraud charges. Why would you want to marry your laptop?

He is trying to prove that, essentially, marriage between a same-sex couple can be equated to marriage between a man and a machine. He is trying to prove that, under Obergefell v. Hodges, the landmark U.S. Supreme Court case that legalized same-sex marriage, people are now allowed to do morally disgusting things like marry whomever they are attracted to, whether that be inanimate objects or the same gender. Essentially, he is trying to give courts an ultimatum: Agree that this is what they have done and allow him to make vows to a piece of expensive chrome, or, realize that this is morally wrong and undo Obergefell.

It’s interesting that the only people every trying to marry things that are not human—the slippery slope so often referred to by conservatives everywhere—are conservatives themselves.

Texas is one of three states in which Sevier, a lawyer and an EDM producer who is "hardcore involved in the music industry," has filed this lawsuit. He plans to hit up 12 more states soon. "[This lawsuit] is not a matter of who's on the right side of history,” Sevier said. “This is about who is on the right side of reality. Are we just delusional?”

Sevier sounds like a lot of fun.