(she doesn’t understand metaphors, greg)

(Disclaimer: I am a liveblog! I’ve seen up through episode 105, Know Your Fusion, and all analysis and assertions made herein are based upon such information as I have received to this point. Please don’t spoil me about future events in the reblogs!)



Loreweaver attempts the dreaded segue x2 combo!

Because we’re finally starting to get answers.

Rose Quartz…well, it should have been obvious to me before, but Rose Quartz committed suicide because she was suicidal.

I spent too much time looking for ulterior motives when there probably weren’t any. Suicidal depression doesn’t have to make sense, doesn’t have to be part of some master plan. One day, you wake up, and everything you’ve been dealing with is just…

…too much.

Rose spent the entirety of the war having to make hard choices–mind you, I think they were probably the right choices, but hard ones nonetheless–hiding things from the people she loved, dealing with people like Bismuth going off the rails hard, wrestling with having killed someone their society treats as an actual god and how much her people hated her for that, and then blaming herself for the corruption of so many of her people, the ones she’d sworn to protect, to free. Suddenly, everything she’d worked for was yanked away in the cruelest possible fashion.

And she had to live with those consequences for five thousand years.

Looking back, I think it broke her. She never bothered to pull Bismuth back out, probably because she was afraid of what the others would say, of losing the only people she had left. Meeting Greg started to bring her back to life…but then, she realized that he also offered her a way out, out of all the pain and sadness and self-assumed responsibility for what happened all those years ago. Rose didn’t realize that she could change, change like Pearl did, like the humans do every day; she thought she was still just…in stasis. And…the way she chose to kill herself, she rationalized, would bring something good into the world–a baby! She’d be a mother! Wouldn’t that be a wonderful way to go?

Rose Quartz was never a mother. Pearl was a mother, Amethyst a sister, Garnet a mentor, Greg a father, but not Rose. Rose…it’s unfair to people like me who suffer from suicidal depression to say that she ran away, but she dumped a child on her friends, on the people who loved her and the man she loved, and she removed herself from their lives almost without warning. It wasn’t fair to them. It wasn’t fair to Steven. It was an escape, a way to stop the endless self-torment, but all she did was give her pain to everyone around her.

Like I said all those episodes ago about Lapis, I don’t have to agree to understand.

