A literary fistfight might sound amusing in concept: You can picture the glasses flying, with pasty, indoor kids swinging and missing. But in reality, there are many writers that we should be scared to face. Let’s take Mario Vargas Llosa, for example: Just look at him above on the right. That man could put up a fight. Thirty-eight years ago today, Llosa punched Gabriel Garcia Marquez (above left) in the face. The incident might be old news, but the first time you learn of the showdown, it’s hard not to catch yourself between two reactions: “Say it ain’t so!” and “So ... who won?”

Because every pencil-pusher sometimes dreams of being a prize fighter, here are seven literary stand-offs that are more fit for the ring than the printed page:

Round 1: Mario Vargas Llosa vs. Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Friendship, betrayal, politics, women — the throwdown between these two Latin American authors was something of a soap opera. Llosa and Marquez had been longtime literary friends until February 13, 1976, when they encountered each other at a film screening in Mexico City. On that fateful day, when Marquez went in for an embrace, Llosa decked him the eye. There was apparently blood everywhere. Many assumed that the reason behind the attack was political as Llosa was just then migrating to right-wing politics, opposing Marquez’s leftist views; however, Rodrigo Moya, a friend of Marquez who shot the famous photograph of his black eye from the fight, revealed that the spat was due to a dispute over Llosa’s wife, Patricia. It seems that Marquez and his wife consoled Patricia during a rough patch in her marriage with Llosa … and gave her the wrong advice.