I purchased this product in order to spice up my sex life (or 'nasty funtime' as my wife and I call it). Quite frankly this compact disc has ruined my entire life. After letting this CD play overnight, I woke up to the surprise of the friggin century. My nether regions are now nearly the length of a damn football field. Yeah, thanks ALOT! I can barely shoehorn myself into a pair of pants and when I finally do, I walk around with a TENTPOLE bulging out the front. Talk about uncomfortable! I got fired from my job because they claimed I was being "entirely inappropriate in the workplace." It's not like I could help it!



On top of that my wife has left me because she's too freaked out to be near me while I'm clothed, much less in the bedroom. Speaking of freaks, I've had to join a Freak Show in a traveling carnival because they're the only people that would hire me now. In fact, we may be coming to a town near you. Keep an eye out for me. They call me the Amazing Gargantuan Penis Man. Can't miss me.