We begin this episode back in the alt-realm at the cave of the Golden Dragon, where Hook, Ella, and a very disappointed Henry discover a drunken sot guarding the stolen treasure instead of a dragon. Henry’s a bit miffed because unlike mom and grandpa, he hasn’t slain a dragon yet, and he feels like he’s a character in someone else’s story – mostly because the season seven writers have consistently written him as such.

After Ella exits the scene, Henry whines about not having a great story to go with the ring he wants to put on Ella’s finger. Hook promises to take him on an epic journey to find a ring worthy of his princess.

Forward now to H-town, and Henry shows up at the bar looking for Roni only to learn that’s she’s MIA from Margot/Robin, who’s tending bar in her place. Our secret serial killer Nick is day drinking in the corner and beating himself up for letting an important “client” get away the night before. Suddenly, Henry gets a phone call. Some fancy-schmancy producer heard his podcast and wants to interview him for a big-time job in New York City.

In the back room, Zelena and Lucy are cooking up 9/10ths of Henry’s healing spell while Regina goes looking for the missing magical ingredient. And she stays missing all episode. And the episode suffers for it, too. Oh well.

Margot confronts her mom about all the secrecy and Zelena begs her daughter for a little blind trust. Margot is having none of that nonsense, so she storms out.

Henry stops by to tell Jacinda about the interview and she tells him to follow his dreams because she’s a decent human being who doesn’t want him to spend his damn life as a Swyft driver. Henry looks like he wants to be talked out of it.

Across town, Weaver and Rogers are still looking for a lead in the candy killer case. They decide to scour the parking garage where Ivy was attacked, and Weaver finds an important clue: Henry’s book. Because crazed killers often have a book tucked under their arm as they slash at their victim.

Rogers heads off to walk Tilly to her new job – a job that he set up for her at Rollin’ Bayou. Sabine welcomes her with open arms and puts Tilly’s people skills to good use in a sales position.

Back we go now to the Fish and Bird Tavern, where Hook and Henry learn that Blackbeard now has control of the Jolly Roger. Hook has a map that will lead them to the treasure of Davy Jones’ locker, but they’ll need to sneak aboard the ship to get to it – even though the Hook we know would have swaggered aboard alone and fought the blackguard to get his ship back. But this is a different Hook and there’s more at play here.

Once aboard, they’re quickly apprehended by Blackbeard – who addresses Henry as “Prince Henry of Storybrooke” – what the hell? He takes the map and gets the treasure, revealing the grand prize: the star sapphire that Davy Jones used to propose to his pirate queen.

Henry manages to get the drop on Blackbeard pretty quickly, and his discovers to his chagrin that the whole adventure has been a setup by Hook, who paid Blackbeard to go along with it. Before he can get his tighty-whiteys in a twist over it, the sky darkens and a magical megastorm comes out of nowhere. Hook races to the helm as Henry mans a rope.

Ahead at the Hyperion Heights police station, Weaver has brought Henry in to help with the candy killer investigation. Weaver reasons that since it was Henry’s book that the killer dropped, and since he scribbled notes all over it, Henry might have some insight into the mind of the killer.

Henry balks at first – he’s got a flight to catch soon to the big apple, after all – but he soon makes a discovery: the chapter with Hansel and Gretel’s story has been crossed through and corrected. Henry reasons that the killer “thinks” he’s Hansel and may be identifiable by his horrific scarring.

He heads out to the airport but only makes it as far as the troll before he gets a flat – caused, strangely enough, by what looks like a piece of a glass slipper. As he’s pondering whether or not this is a sign of some portent, Nick pulls up and offers him a ride.

Henry accepts because there’s nothing weird about chatting about your girl with the babydaddy who vowed to win her back just a few episodes ago, and oh yeah, he tells him all about the breakthrough on the confidential criminal investigation he was helping out with. As he blathers on he happens to notice the scars on Nick’s arm just in time for Nick to stab him with a hypodermic needle and knock his idiot ass out.

Over at Rollin’ Bayou, Tilly takes a break to hang with her new pal Margot. After listening to her unload about her mom issues, Tilly convinces Margot to give her mom the benefit of the doubt.

Margot takes the advice to heart and returns to the bar, where she lets Zelena know that she’s willing to allow Mom the time she asked for before learning all her secrets. Zelena confesses that she misses Chad, the yet-to-be-revealed fiance, and we close the scene as she receives a box of death chocolates.

Back again to the Jolly Roger in the midst of the storm. No matter where Hook steers the ship, a whirlpool follows. Henry realizes that Davy Jones is demanding the return of his prize. Henry tosses the ring overboard and the sea instantly calms.

Henry decides that his glory-seeking days are done and he’ll settle for just having a great life, conveniently forgetting that he has the magical power to alter reality for everyone with the flick of a pen, for chrissakes.

He returns to Ella, dragging her off to a pretty spot where nothing special ever happened and continues the tradition by cementing their relationship and proposing. She says yes, of course, and we all heave a resigned sigh.

And we end in H-Town , where a groggy Henry awakes to find himself tied up in Nick’s apartment. He correctly calls his captor out as Hansel, and tries in vain to talk him into turning himself in. Hansel isn’t interested – he’s not done killing yet.

I’m giving this one three mediocre tomes out of five.

It’s bad enough they make Henry an accessory in nearly every scene, and I don’t watch a show about heroes to see a guy with tremendous magical power live an all right life.

My thoughts:

I wish they’d stop selling Henry short. Andrew West is a wonderful actor and they haven’t done right by him yet. I love watching the relationships between Tilly & Rogers and Tilly & Margot bloom. The show needs Regina, especially since Weaver and Rogers have been so toned-down. Are we ever going to get Gothel’s backstory? How did she get trapped in the tower? Why did it require someone of her bloodline to replace her? Why the coven? Why am I only mildly curious?

What did you think? Are you satisfied with Henry’s “just all right” sort of life?

h