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Location: Toronto

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Now I realize this is going to be very competitive, I mean who wouldn’t want to carry my casket? So below is more details on how to apply.Now in order to my friend you'll have to meet the following conditions and requirements:-Must make an appearance at my funeral to carry my casket-Must be able to lift 1/6th of the weight of my body inside a casket-Being my friend is only secondary to your role as my pallbearer, in the case that I start to actually like you as a friend, that role may be switched to a secondary priority.-This will be STRICTLY friendship. You must not fall in love with me. I don't need a coffin straddler at my funeral because it will make the casket that much heavier to carry. Besides it's not proper custom the spouse to be a pallbearer anyway-In the case that you die before I do I will be your pallbearer-In the case I changed my mind and decide to be cremated then you are hereby relieved of your duty as pallbearerThe interview process may subject you to tests such as heavy lifting, ability to cry, and proper funeral dress. Training will be provided for all successful applicants in proper lifting technique, crying when you really don't care, and how to dress for a funeral.I thank all applicants for applying but only those that I am interested in will be contacted for an interview.In case you're wondering, I'm not dieing. Therefore until the day I do maybe we can be friends? So please would somebody commit to this task? I could die any day now…please hurry.