The WeWork controversy made me think of all those workers who might lose their jobs, their future compensation, and their stable careers in danger. It saddens me that in this day and age, venture capital, investment banks, and startups are locked in a tangle to secure their share of the profit without ever paying attention to the people who work for them.

In light of this, I want to share some of my experiences as a career man. I’ve worked since I graduated from college and I haven’t stopped. This is all because I never had delusions about work. I never exactly dreamed because student loans never allowed me to dream.

But, after diligently building my career, I found my niche and I am happy. My skills are valued every day. I am valued for my work. Most of all, I know that in the wide job market, if I have to take a plunge, my skills will still be valued because I’ve taken the time to hone these skills.

I cut through the office politics. I cut through the boredom. I cut through the clutter of mental weakness. I took risks in my career. I dealt with a lot of failures along the way.

So, for the twenty-something, here are a few paragraphs from a career man.

Stop dreaming for now

When I was younger, I had a lot of dreams. But, there are circumstances in my life such as student loans, near bankruptcy, failure of a business, etc.. that made me realistic about life.

What do you want out of life?

Statistics say that in order to make enough to bring up children in America, you probably need $50,000 to $75,000 a year salary to cover your expenses. I don’t know about you, that just tells me that you not only need an actual job, but you also need a middle-class job that will pay a decent income.

If you have loans and kids, then you need to be realistic about the type of jobs that will pay this kind of income.

Once you have that, then you have earned your right to dream.

Don’t put your hopes in one thing

I don’t know about you, but that’s never worked out for me. With the exception of my wife, you can’t put all your eggs in one basket. If you have a full-time job, you are only contracted to work a certain length of time. Your employer does not own you. You can side-hustle your way to any kind of success you want.

Loyalty is hard to find and rare. But, blind loyalty only hurts your well-being. Loyalty has to be based on facts, experience, and respect.

If a company or a person treats you with disrespect, no matter how good the opportunity is, you should think about whether the price is worth paying. You are paying with your self-esteem to keep this opportunity.

The Hype Around Leadership is over-rated

I have to rephrase that. Leadership is in everyone. Everyone is capable of leading. However, not everyone’s job is a leader on a team.

What I see in truly great leaders is that they are not fixated on their “leadership”. They are fixated on helping you. The first thing that comes out of their mouths is: “How are you?”.

At some point during your conversation, you will hear, “What can I help you with?”

Leadership is not complicated. It’s simply letting people know that you care. Then, follow through on that promise every single day rain or shine.

Know What Your Skills Are

Knowing all your skills can, not only help your work life, but also your life.

Have you ever listed out all the skills that you are good at, all the skills you need to improve on, and all the skills you want to acquire?

Most people have never even thought of making an excel spreadsheet of their skill matrix. But, how do you know who your partner might be? How do you know what type of company you need to work for?

For instance, my wife is this creative bug who can’t clean up even if I nag her. She married me because I, on the other hand like to live in an organized environment. I will take an hour to clean up my desk before I start to work.

I work for a company that lets me lead a small team without having to network too much. I get to go home at 5 pm every day. Yet, at year-end, when I present our project to upper management, we always get the resources we need for next year.

I’m good at leading a small team and building relationships with people over a number of years.

Know Who You Are

Who are you? Do you care about the human race? Do you care about your family? Do you even want a family? What do you value in life: adventures, creativity, data, drama, inspiration, peace, etc..?

You only discover what you want out of life by experiencing ups and downs in your life. I learned the most about myself were times when I had to:

re-examine my career choices

re-examine my relationship with my wife

re-examine my relationship with my family

cut my losses from my failures and run

celebrate my successes

If you don’t have these moments, then create them. If you don’t have experiences, then you will never know who you really are.

By the way, contrary to popular belief, conflict is the key to finding who you are. The more “constructive” conflict you have in your life, the closer in you understanding who you really are.

Live the Way You Want to Live

Who cares? I can care less about what other people think of me. I do my thing, I get paid, I have a great family that I love spending time with. Life can’t be any better.

Live the way that you want to live. Live under a tree for all I care. Not all of your friends will even be there once you have a family. What they said at this brunch about you and your new girlfriend simply will not matter.

The horizon is long. So, take every opportunity to do what you want.

No regrets, just living. Just honest living with honest intentions.