Many years ago I made a bold claim: “I can never marry a man who has to travel all of the time.” I had seen couples navigate the difficult waters of business travel, and I didn’t want any part of it. More than anything, I hated (still do) being alone. I’m the oldest of four children. I have always lived with roommates. And more often than not, spending too many evenings by myself makes my vivid imagination run wild. I just didn’t want to deal with that stress.

At the time my demand for marriage seemed reasonable. When I met my husband I thought I was in the clear. As a seminary student, he intended to enter full-time vocational ministry and did not aspire to become a traveling preacher. We got married in 2009, and while I knew we would occasionally be apart, I was resting in the fact that I probably wouldn’t have to ever endure long stretches of time away from him.

And then we moved to Little Rock, Arkansas.

In 2011, my husband graduated from seminary, and we packed up and headed south to plant a church. Because we were part of a new church, he had to work another job to make ends meet. God provided a job for him that perfectly suited his skill set and met our needs. But he had to travel—a lot. Now we are nearly three years in, and it looks like God is changing our life path. The travel isn’t going anywhere. Never say never, right?

Nothing More Than We Can Handle?

I’ve heard it said that God gives us trying circumstances because he knows we can handle it. I have even heard traveling spouses say that God made their husband or wife an independent person who could handle all of the time away. I understand how someone could think that way. When we see a man or woman handling seemingly impossible circumstances, it’s easy to conclude that God must have made him or her competent to bear such difficulty. In some ways, that is true. God does equip people for the journeys ahead of them.

But what about me? I am not independent, and I know I can’t “handle” multiple days of caring for twin boys by myself.

I think God has promised us another, more helpful way to think through difficulty. But first we have to make an honest confession.

God often gives us more than we can handle.

Have you ever woken up one morning to the overwhelming reality that you don’t have what it takes to make it through the day? Maybe you have a major project due at work, you are already behind, and now your boss has given you another project to start. Maybe you have a task list that keeps growing, and there aren’t enough hours in the day to complete it. Maybe you have a house full of little ones, another on the way, and you just don’t know how you will have the energy to care for all of the needs in your family. Or maybe you are like me, and nearly every week you are confronted with the fact that your husband will have to leave for another business trip.

The apostle Paul knew what it meant to be overwhelmed. In 2 Corinthians 12, we glimpse Paul’s persistent suffering—his thorn in the flesh. Every day he felt the sting of weakness. Every day he worried he could not endure his calling. In desperation he cried out to God and received this response: “‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Paul knew that God had given him more than he could handle. And so did God. Yet through Paul’s weakness God was glorified. Through his difficulty Paul was actually made strong.

God the Burden Bearer

We were never meant to walk through this life alone. In fact, God delights in bearing our burdens for us. David knew this peace amid struggle. Throughout his life, he was faced with overwhelming circumstance after overwhelming circumstance. Yet he learned where to go with his burden—to the LORD (Ps. 55:22). In the Psalms, God promises that he not only delights in carrying our burdens, but he also sustains us along whatever path he has called us to walk.

But with this burden bearing comes a burden lifting. As we daily depend on the God who is strong enough to carry even the heaviest load we bear, we receive the strength of Another, who promises that his burden is light (Matt. 11:30). When we cry out to him in faith we know that no burden is to great for him to carry for us. I think this is what Paul meant when he said that the “power of Christ” rests on him. Christ carries our burdens for us and gives us his peace.

God’s Abundant Grace

But what happens when your burden doesn’t feel lifted? What happens when you cry out to God (like Paul), and he doesn’t give you the relief we want? God does not just bear our burdens; he also gives us grace. Sovereign over all things we face, he is the only one capable of providing the grace we need to endure.

It’s not that he gives us what we can handle. It’s that he gives us what we can’t handle so we lean on him, not on ourselves. In the weak moments I cry out to him with the most fervor. Unfortunately, I tend to look to myself when life is easy. But in the moments where I feel like I can’t go on, I look away from myself and to him alone.