Why there's nothing as gorgeous as a geek



When I was 45, I dated a geek. Arthur was pale, freckly and smelt vaguely of mothballs (the result of buying his clothes from charity shops). None of my friends could fathom why I was with him. Where I saw sweet enthusiasm, my friends saw weirdness; behaviour I believed to be endearingly eccentric, they thought bordered on madness.



We once arrived at a friend’s house for a Christmas party, having taken two hours to get there, for him to announce after ten minutes that he was leaving — because he hated the Christmas decorations.



Then he planned a romantic getaway in Ireland. But when we arrived at a pub in one of the roughest parts of Dublin I thought it was a joke. He’d booked a B&B room above the pub that played authentic Irish folk music — all night, as it happened. And so, after six months, swayed by the opinions of my friends, I left him — a decision I have lived to regret.

Our sexiest new TV stars: Gawky Matt Smith as our 11th Doctor Who, right, and Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes became heart-throbs overnight

Yes, he was an oddball, but no man ever encouraged me the way he did. When I was at rock bottom, he was a rock. He was as enthusiastic about me and what I was doing as he was about his job — he was a telecoms executive in the City — and his classical CD collection, which was arranged not alphabetically but chronologically, occupied an entire room in his beautiful house.

Some men recite poetry, Arthur read me great political speeches — and with such passion they were utterly beguiling. That wouldn’t work for everyone, but it did for me.



I’d always thought geeks didn’t get lucky that often — that they were just happy to find a woman who was willing to get naked with them — so I was surprised at his proficiency in the bedroom. And, unlike other boyfriends, he never gave me any reason to doubt his faithfulness.



Sometimes it felt as if he was on a different planet to the rest of us — he hadn’t quite mastered normal social interaction — but he made me realise that geeks have a lot to offer a woman.



And it seems that Hollywood has finally woken up to this. After years of smouldering, red-blooded leading men — think Hugh Jackman as Wolverine in the X-Men series or Daniel Craig as James Bond — there is a distinct shift taking place.



For the men who are making female cinema-goers swoon in blockbusters and romantic comedies this summer aren’t square-jawed American hunks, but British nerds.



Unlikely movie pin-ups: Bridesmaids star Chris O'Dowd, left and War Horse actor Tom Hiddleston

Think of Tom Hiddleston. He might be armed with a double first from Cambridge, but his body is more pipe-cleaner than pumped up. But, despite this, the actor has built up an army of female fans through his role as the baddie in the blockbusting superhero series The Avengers.



Similarly, just when did rubbery-faced Irish actor Chris O’Dowd — who stars in new romantic comedy Friends With Kids and played the romantic lead in last summer’s smash-hit Bridesmaids — become a pin-up?

No one is more surprised than O’Dowd. By his own admission he has a ‘big nose, big lips and a giant rubbery head’. He admits that for years all he could do was laugh the girls into bed.



In its love affair with the geek, British drama is not far behind Hollywood. Our sexiest new TV stars don’t have a rippling muscle between them. Gawky Matt Smith as our 11th Doctor Who and Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes became heart-throbs overnight and are now heading for Hollywood.



Cumberbatch, who is set to star in the forthcoming Star Trek and The Hobbit films, is bemused by the fact that women now ‘go nuts’ for him.



‘I know I don’t fit into some kind of archetype,’ he says — and he’s right. Yet female desire doesn’t fit an archetype either, and a fine mind can turn our head just as much as a set of chiselled abs.



It seems that if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty man your husband. Look at the track record of our top, conventionally handsome male actors. George Clooney: divorced years ago and a string of beautiful model girlfriends ever since. Tom Cruise: divorced three times.

Lasting love: Microsoft billionaire Bill Gates has been married to Melinda for 18 years

Sadly, beautiful men are not the best bets for lifelong happiness. Geeks are rather more reliable.



Take the king of the nerds, Microsoft billionaire Bill Gates. He married in 1994 to Melinda: three kids, no divorces. Facebook founder 28-year-old Mark Zuckerberg — who is now worth £12.2 billion — married his university sweetheart Priscilla Chan this year after nine years together. Looking at the evidence, the odds are it will last.



There’s nothing sexier than a clever, kind man who can provide for you and your family. Pretty men are too busy checking out how they look to notice you.



Geeks have boasted all these positive qualities for years — so why is it that they are only now coming to the fore?



There may be an obvious, and cynical, reason. With the collapse of the economy and the vilification of City bankers, Gordon Gekkos are out and computer geeks are in.



Power is still the greatest aphrodisiac for many women and it’s pretty clear the geeks who control social networking and the web are taking over the world.

