EXTROVERTED FEELING (ISTP’s INFERIOR FUNCTION):

“In the grip” of the inferior function, all personality types are prone to acting compulsively and obsessively. Grip experiences can be difficult to escape, since the less conscious self (i.e., the inferior function) takes over as the driver of the personality. While the content of grip experiences may differ across the types, their basic shape is essentially the same.

For ISTPs (and INTPs), being in the grip often involves workaholism. As T dominants, work (including personal projects and hobbies), comprises a central component of ISTPs’ identity. In doing what they enjoy, ISTPs are naturally very disciplined and thorough. When they are in the grip, however, they become obsessive, perfectionistic, and unable to let go of whatever they are doing. During such times, ISTPs may alienate themselves from others, insisting they need more and more time to themselves (this is why ISTPs often test as Enneagram Fives). They become trapped, functioning only in Judging mode (Ti-Fe), while forgoing the Perceiving functions (Se-Ni) in the middle of their functional stack.

As for all types, the process of slipping into grip experiences is often subtle and insidious. For instance, ISTPs may have a goal in mind for what they want to accomplish that day, only to discover the task much larger than they originally imagined. But because a bigger task poses a greater challenge, they take the bait and see if they can still manage to get it done. The problem, of course, is that this essentially locks them into Judging mode, since any deviation into Se Perceiving will preclude them from accomplishing their goal. This includes closing themselves off to other people, who come to be viewed as intrusions or impediments to their productivity. Consequently, ISTPs who are frequently in the grip may end up ostracizing themselves from other people.

What is interesting is that ISTPs, like other types, can be relatively unaware of falling into a grip experience, rationalizing their obsessiveness as being “efficient” or “productive.” Moreover, since grip experiences are fueled by adrenaline, they can feel “good” at some level, allowing for heightened focus and endurance. At the same time, there is a part of ISTPs that knows they are in trouble. When all they can do is compulsively hurl themselves into their work, a part of them realizes this is unsustainable, unbalanced, and potentially destructive.

To compensate for the isolation involved with grip behavior, ISTPs may “crutch” their inferior Fe through their relationships, which provides the reassurance that external Fe support is available should they need it. This is why so many ISTPs (and INTPs) struggle when it comes to balancing their work and interpersonal relationships.

Slippery & Elusive Emotions

For ISTPs and INTPs alike, their Fe is rather naive and childlike. They may be easily moved by cheesy romantic comedies or sappy love songs, anything that incites their subconscious Fe emotions. They can also be easy targets for “love at first sight” sorts of infatuation. They may be particularly susceptible to being wooed by Feeling types (especially FJs), who can bypass their typical channels of logic and appeal directly to ISTPs’ less conscious Fe.

Because of the inferior position of their Fe, ISTPs struggle to intentionally contact or understand their emotions. It’s not they never experience emotions, but only that their emotions seem to have a mind of their own, coming and going as they please. So even if ISTPs are aware of what emotions are appropriate for a given situation, they often do not “feel” them at the time, engendering a sense of awkwardness or discomfort in emotional situations. They may even experience the desired emotion a few hours later, but it’s almost as though their emotions get “stage fright” when “put on the spot.” To compensate, ISTPs may try to use their Fe to offer the socially-appropriate words. But without experiencing the emotions directly, they often sound clumsy or contrived in their expressions. At times, this can be difficult for their romantic partners, particularly for FJ types, who desire a reciprocation of authentic emotional expression. But because of their Fe stage fright, ISTPs may not experience their feelings “at the right times” or can have trouble expressing them when they are present.

While ISTPs can certainly have trouble contacting their emotions, they usually have little difficulty overriding or detaching from them. Consequently, ISTPs are less apt to struggle with guilt, regret, or shame in the way that other types might. Others may even be surprised how quickly ISTPs can resume “business as usual” after what most would consider tragic or traumatic circumstances. This should not necessarily be viewed as a flaw in the ISTP, however, but merely a reflection of the unconscious nature of their Fe.

Conflict-Avoidance, Passive-Aggressiveness, & Desire for Affirmation

ISTPs’ want everyone to feel included and to be treated with fairness and respect (Fe). While not as warm or effusive as FJ types, ISTPs are concerned with others’ feelings and try to avoid hurting or offending them. Like FJ types, they seek to maintain a basic level of harmony in their immediate circumstances.

Fe also contributes to ISTPs’ desire for public affirmation. Fe involves making connections between one’s own emotions and those of others. While ISTPs may not always “feel” what others are feeling, their Fe still desires the sense of social affirmation and validation. Consequently, there are times when ISTPs are helpful or compliant largely for the sake of external approval or to maintain a certain public perception. ISTPs with a strong concern for their image can take social engagements quite seriously. They want others to see them as laudable employees, spouses, parents, or citizens. Their desire for public esteem can also be a motivating force in ISTPs’ desire for achievement (This is why ISTPs may also score high as Enneagram Threes).

ISTPs’ propensity for conflict-avoidance and need for affirmation, on the one hand, with their need for independence (Ti), on the other, contributes to no small number of relational difficulties. Especially when in the grip of workaholism, ISTPs may feel they don’t need or want other people around. Eventually, they come to a point of feeling miserably imbalanced, which prompts them to reinitiate contact with others, at least until they fall into the grip again. This cycle of alternating between needing and devaluing others is common among ISTPs and narcissists alike.

In the name of conflict-avoidance and preservation of external harmony, ISTPs may do all they can to circumvent directly expressing their frustrations or grievances. Wittingly or not, they view conflict as a potential threat to the relationship they depend on to meet their Fe needs, as well as a threat to the flawless image they seek to preserve. So rather than giving voice (Fe) to their concerns, ISTPs are more apt to analyze (Ti) or act on them (Se), often in passive-aggressive ways. They may, for instance, intentionally start spending more time at the office as a passive form of rebellion against their partner. Or, they may make sudden executive decisions without giving others any say or prior notice. Poor communication can also lead ISTPs to create a convoluted set of assumptions about what their partners think, want, and expect. Unhealthy ISTPs may spin an ever-expanding web of faulty beliefs and assumptions about their partner. In so doing, they often come to resent or otherwise think negatively of their mates, even if largely a product of their own faulty conclusions.