The Poly Community’s Response in the Time of Trump

Discussion session at Poly Living East, Philadelphia

February 4, 2017

Notes by Alan M.



A dozen people gathered at 9 a.m. on Saturday morning for animated discussion. Ideas that arose, sorted by category:

· PROVIDING FOR THE COMMON DEFENSE. We are small and insignificant compared to groups now under direct threat ­­(immigrants, Muslims, Mexicans, black communities, women, etc.), and we are small even compared to other sex- and gender-related groups who face common threats with us (LGBTQ, feminists, sex educators, sex info sites, the porn industry, BDSM, etc.). We must reach out to them as mutual strategic allies even if we don’t agree on everything.

· Jim Fleckenstein: This is especially true when facing legal threats. A common legal defense can span many diverse groups and interests. For instance: credit-card companies cutting off service to sex-positive organizations, whether the companies are driven to it by new laws or just fear.

· threats of censorship, blocking or shutdown as a result: either directly by law, or indirectly by providers’ fears. Jim continued: Jeff Sessions, the Attorney General nominee, wants to crack down on porn – he has talked about reviving the Meese Commission. All sex-positive or sex-ed sites may faceas a result: either directly by law, or indirectly by providers’ fears.

· Poly support organizations, which means basically Loving More , the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) and the Relationship Equality Foundation (REF) , should ally in particular with other sex- and relationship-related groups — medical information sites, therapists, AASECT, Woodhull, etc. — for group defense. Jim will bring the poly community’s concern to the NCSF board. Susan Wright of NCSF is already very involved with the Free Speech Coalition of the adult industry.

· Personal alliances matter a lot in building support; not just organizational alliances. For instance, Loving More is known in the Colorado LGBT world for showing up at Colorado’s Pride Fest. Work with other groups on their own projects and defense; that’s how you win friends to be there for you.

· building coalitions, if you are afraid of being tarred by association with kinksters, nudists, swingers, strip clubs or practically anybody else, get over it. “You have to be ready to fight back from that corner,” said Jim F. “You have to look where you can find allies, and cultivate personal relationships with them.” Inif you are afraid of being tarred by association with kinksters, nudists, swingers, strip clubs or practically anybody else,“You have to be ready to fight back from that corner,” said Jim F. “You have to look where you can find allies, and cultivate personal relationships with them.”

· Also reach out to Humanist groups, because “their lawyers work day and night on separation of church and state.” The American Humanist Association , Americans United for Separation of Church and State , American Atheists , etc. And never mind whether you’re a humanist or atheist yourself.

· Join the Indivisible Movement . “It’s becoming a big thing” as a very broad-based coalition for resisting Trumpism in the political sphere.

· “All over we’re seeing people come together that would never have come together before.”





· LEGAL / POLITICAL. Even in the absence of new laws, judges may feel empowered to rule badly in poly-related cases: discrimination in work, housing, etc., as well as the separate question of child custody in family courts. The proposed federal “Freedom of Religion Act” to legalize discrimination against LGBTs would also include us. (Not that we have much in the way of antidiscrimination law to take away.)

· credit card processing privileges. In cases like this, said Jim, “look for allies where you least expect them.” For instance the gun industry, facing rejection by PayPal, credit card companies, etc., has found workarounds for transaction processing through sympathetic banks. Jim pointed out that Fetlife’s owner shut down some of its more extreme fetish communities last month because of a threat that the entire site would lose its. In cases like this, said Jim, “look for allies where you least expect them.” For instance the gun industry, facing rejection by PayPal, credit card companies, etc., has found workarounds for transaction processing through sympathetic banks.

· backups of your site (on local media such as a thumb drive stored away from your computer, as well as in the cloud). Have a website? Keep safeof your site (on local media such as a thumb drive stored away from your computer, as well as in the cloud).

· The way authorities often try to shut down events is through a venue’s weak point: its local liquor license.





· LAWYERS AND LEGAL SUPPORT: Robyn Trask, director of Loving More, is compiling a list of lawyers available to handle poly cases. If you are such a lawyer, or know of any, go tell her: robyn@lovemore.com Update: The . Loving More wants a large list to refer people to wherever they are.The Polyamory Leadership Network is forming a working group on lawyers and legal matters.

· Suggestion: we need a “What Lawyers Should Know About Polyamory” booklet along the lines of NCSF’s successful “ What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory .”

· Jim F.: Getting a handle on the legal needs of the poly community “will be one of the outcomes of our current Legal Survey. Everybody, please go fill it out !” It currently has 600+ responses; they want 1000+. Go do the survey even if you have no known legal needs, because it asks other relevant questions. Publicize it to your communities. The survey will guide Loving More/ NCSF/ REF/ ABSC in their directions in providing joint resources for the poly community. “By next year we should be able to move on this stuff.”





· talking points and sound bites about issues in the Trump climate. For instance, “The rise of fascism in this country is already impacting people like me,” and tell how. MEDIA MESSAGING. Mischa Lin of Open Love NY said, let’s write up a document for people to use in discussions with media:about issues in the Trump climate. For instance, “The rise of fascism in this country is already impacting people like me,” and tell how.

· Cultivate connections in the media . Know a sympathetic reporter or editor to call when you need them. Look for reporters who have covered other personal-freedom or alternative-lifestyle issues well. (You can search a reporter’s name on polyinthemedia.blogspot.com to see what they may have written about poly in the past decade.)

· Robyn Trask continues to build Loving More’s list of good poly spokespeople she can send media to. She wants more, representing all branches of poly. This means you! Robyn has a good list of tips for dealing with the media, and helpful materials, and she’s eager to consult by phone to develop your media skills. Contact her at robyn@lovemore.com , or better, phone her at 970-667-5683.





In addition, at least four other sessions at Poly Living discussed related issues:

-- Robyn and Jesus’s “Taking Our Movement Forward” session about Loving More’s own plans,

-- Lusty Guy’s “Voter Team Meeting” about building an effective resistance,

-- A lunch meeting of 15 Polyamory Leadership Network members to discuss what was on their minds,

-- Mim Chapman’s closing keynote talk, “Rainbow Poly: Becoming Radical Defenders of Diversity.”

A few additional points gleaned from these:





· Cunning Minx: There’s an app called Countable bills coming up in Congress and how to contact your representatives about them. Phoning is better than writing, and actually easier. You’ll get a polite staffer who listens to your request for how to vote on the bill and tallies it. Brief is fine. This may take you 15 seconds. that serves youand how to contact your representatives about them. Phoning is better than writing, and actually easier. You’ll get a polite staffer who listens to your request for how to vote on the bill and tallies it. Brief is fine. This may take you 15 seconds.

· Volunteer at your LGBTQ center; you will build relationships and gain activist allies. Ditto volunteering for other activist/ political groups. In groups you’re already in, come out as poly so that they know a poly person and know you have concerns about the current environment.

· take you a bit out of your comfort zone. Try new projects, go new places, reach out to different kinds of people than you usually do. In diversity is strength, and “Life rewards people who move in the direction of greatest courage.” Pick up new challenges thatTry new projects, go new places,than you usually do. In diversity is strength, and “Life rewards people who move in the direction of greatest courage.”

· Fucking vote! Turn out the vote. Run for office.” Lusty guy: “Turn out the vote. Run for office.”

· “There has been incredible progress in the last 14 days, as well as incredible degradation.”

· Lusty Guy: “Two things have been scientifically shown, over and over, to change people’s behavior more than anything else: (1) What they think people around them are doing, and (2) Thinking that someone is observing them.” Activists who know this can pretty much skip all other persuasion techniques you may have heard of.

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