You ever think of the perfect response to a put-down after the moment has already passed? It's the worst. Especially because you spend the next few days rolling around the kitchen floor, your body fully slathered in the peanut butter of shame, denigrating yourself over and over while loudly proclaiming, "That's what I should have said!" Actually, that's never happened to me. Well, not the part with the peanut butter at least, but I imagine it's quite common.

Getty

PROTIP: Have your dog lick it off you to heighten the self-loathing.

Throughout history, however, there have been the quick-thinking great ones who were presented with the perfect setup and, rather than botching it, proved their point or defended themselves with a punchline of just a few hilariously well-chosen words. It's the kind of quick-thinking wit you just don't see with today's celebrities.