(Note: We are a very small vet clinic and have no office manager. We do have a clinic cat which stays at the counter during the day and he has been jokingly called our office manager.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Caller: “Good afternoon! I’d like to make an appointment today for my dog’s vaccines.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re completely booked for today. We’re looking at some time late this week or early next week.”

(Suddenly, the heretofore nice caller goes completely ballistic. He starts screaming at the top of his lungs.)

Caller: “LISTEN, I WANT AN APPOINTMENT NOW! How dare you talk to me in that tone! You make me an appointment for today, right now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re booked for today.”

Caller: “You are such a liar! I have never been treated like this before! You are the most rude person I have EVER talked to! I WILL HAVE YOU FIRED. I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR OFFICE MANAGER, RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “We don’t have an office manager here, sir. I can have you speak to the owner, though.”

Caller: “Don’t you lie to me! I’LL HAVE YOUR A** FIRED. PUT ME ON RIGHT NOW!”

(This goes on for a few minutes. I try to calm him down and have him speak to the owner, but he keeps screaming. I look up to see our clinic cat watching me and I get an idea.)

Me: “Sir, you’re right. We do have an office manager, but he wasn’t in yet so I had to tell you we didn’t have one.”

(He keeps ranting, and I put the phone near our cat. Note that he’s yelling loud enough for me to hear. The man continues to scream over the phone for a couple minutes before he pauses.)

Caller: “You’re going to tell that to your employee, right?!”

Clinic Cat: “Meow?”

Caller: *hangs up*