A Milwaukee local, known for crying online and writing bargain bin budget scifi books for readers on a budget, has been apprehended after it was found he possessed thousands of illicit images and videos of children. Patrick S Tomlinson, best known as @Stealthygeek on twitter, was arrested in the early hours of August 15th after he was caught masturbating to child porn in a closed Dave and Busters parking lot. Tomlinson was said to be carrying several hard drives and wifi routers. “He was distributing the child pornography to authors and readers using a network called TOR books. He also published smut scifi novels, and it seems his writing specialized in stories about aliens visiting Earth and sodomizing and killing children.” Says police chief Nigel Iglesias. Tomlinson is being held without bond, and witnesses report him “bawling uncontrollably about not being to tweet”.

Tomlinson’s daughter remains in custody of his ex wife and her boyfriend Jonathon Synder, who is raising Tomlinsons daughter. “He didn’t want custody of her. He wanted to smoke pot and play with star wars toys all day. And masturbate to child porn too appearently.”