The issue of climate change can be complicated, so it’s encouraging that minister Matt Hancock was able to explain what to do about it with a simple answer.

He was asked if we should reduce the number of flights we take, and said: “No.”

At last here’s someone who can talk about the complexities of the environment with words we can understand, instead of pompous scientists, who try to convince us to fly less with annoying graphs and pictures of Greenland.

He went on to give a scientific explanation for his theory. “Because,” he said, “for many people, connectivity is important.”

This is a strong point, and would be even stronger if the argument of climate scientists was that people should take less flights because there’s no need to go anywhere.

Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Show all 20 1 /20 Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures California In this decade, humans have become ever more aware of climate change. Calls for leaders to act echo around the globe as the signs of a changing climate become ever more difficult to ignore Getty Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Athens, Greece Fierce wildfires have flared up in numerous countries. The damage being caused is unprecedented: 103 people were killed in wildfires last year in California, one of the places best prepared, best equipped to fight such blazes in the world AFP/Getty Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Redding, California Entire towns have been razed. The towns of Redding and Paradise in California were all but eliminated in the 2018 season AP Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Athens, Greece While wildfires in Greece (pictured), Australia, Indonesia and many other countries have wrought chaos to infrastructure, economies and cost lives AFP/Getty Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Carlisle, England In Britain, flooding has become commonplace. Extreme downpours in Carlisle in the winter of 2015 saw the previous record flood level being eclipsed by two feet AFP/Getty Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Hebden Bridge, England Hebden Bridge in West Yorkshire has flooded repeatedly in the past decade, with the worst coming on Christmas Day 2015. Toby Smith of Climate Visuals, an organisation focused on improving how climate change is depicted in the media, says: "Extreme weather and flooding, has and will become more frequent due to climate change. An increase in the severity and distribution of press images, reports and media coverage across the nation has localised the issue. It has raised our emotions, perception and personalised the effects and hazards of climate change." Getty Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Somerset, England Out west in Somerset, floods in 2013 led to entire villages being cut off and isolated for weeks Getty Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Dumfries, Scotland "In summer 2012, intense rain flooded over 8000 properties. In 2013, storms and coastal surges combined catastrophically with elevated sea levels whilst December 2015, was the wettest month ever recorded. Major flooding events continued through the decade with the UK government declaring flooding as one of the nation's major threats in 2017," says Mr Smith of Climate Visuals Getty Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures London, England Weather has been more extreme in Britain in recent years. The 'Beast from the East' which arrived in February 2018 brought extraordinarily cold temperatures and high snowfall. Central London (pictured), where the city bustle tends to mean that snow doesn't even settle, was covered in inches of snow for day PA Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures London, England Months after the cold snap, a heatwave struck Britain, rendering the normally plush green of England's parks in Summer a parched brown for weeks AFP/Getty Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures New South Wales, Australia Worsening droughts in many countries have been disastrous for crop yields and have threatened livestock. In Australia, where a brutal drought persisted for months last year, farmers have suffered from mental health problems because of the threat to their livelihood Reuters Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Tonle Sap, Cambodia Even dedicated climate skeptic Jeremy Clarkson has come to recognise the threat of climate change after visiting the Tonle Sap lake system in Cambodia. Over a million people rely on the water of Tonle Sap for work and sustinence but, as Mr Clarkson witnessed, a drought has severley depleted the water level Carlo Frem/Amazon Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Addis Ababa, Ethiopia In reaction to these harbingers of climate obliteration, some humans have taken measures to counter the impending disaster. Ethiopia recently planted a reported 350 million trees in a single day AFP/Getty Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Morocco Morocco has undertaken the most ambitious solar power scheme in the world, recently completing a solar plant the size of San Francisco AFP/Getty Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures London, England Electric cars are taking off as a viable alternative to fossil fuel burning vehicles and major cities across the world are adding charging points to accomodate AFP/Getty Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Purmerend, The Netherlands Cities around the world are embracing cycling too, as a clean (and healthy) mode of transport. The Netherlands continues to lead the way with bikes far outnumbering people Jeroen Much/Andras Schuh Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Xiamen, China Cycling infrastructure is taking over cities the world over, in the hope of reducing society's dependency on polluting vehicles Ma Weiwei Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Chennai, India Despite positive steps being taken, humans continue to have a wildly adverse effect on the climate. There have been numerous major oil spills this decade, the most notable being the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico in 2010 AFP/Getty Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures Amazon rainforest, Brazil More recently, large swathes of the Amazon rainforest were set alight by people to clear land for agriculture AFP/Getty Climate change: Decade's defining issue in pictures California This decade may have seen horrors but it has led to an understanding that the next decade must see change if human life is to continue Getty

He gave an excellent example, saying: “Take flights to the Scilly Isles. It takes a long time to get to the Scilly Isles if you’re not in an aeroplane.”

This is an excellent point, because it isn’t possible to reduce the number of flights in the world, anywhere, without leaving people in the Scilly Isles stranded like Tom Hanks in Castaway. That’s ecologists for you, the heartless bastards.

It’s all very well for Greta Thunberg to go on and on all day about people in the Scilly Isles ruining the planet with their incessant trips backwards and forwards to Penzance, but I’d like to see her try to go all that way by boat.

Hancock must have been responding to the International Panel on Climate Change Report, that stated: “Greenhouse gases are likely to rise by a further 3.4 per cent by 2030, according to current models based on existing data relating to melting ice caps, unless the population of the Scilly Isles stops buzzing about like bluebottles, the carbon-emitting wankers.”

At least he’s more on top of it than Dominic Raab, who wasn’t aware there was an English Channel. He’s probably already called Matt Hancock, and told him the solution to the problem is to drive to the Scilly Isles.

Hancock went on to explain air travel definitely won’t add to climate change, because, “electric planes are a potential in the not too distant future”. So that’s it, sorted. The carbon emissions of planes don’t add to the amount of carbon emissions, because different planes, as yet uninvented, but which might exist in the not too distant future, won’t emit carbon. As he’s health secretary, he should also tell us it’s fine to smoke Capstan full strength cigarettes all day, as there’s a potential for us all to have electric lungs in the not too distant future.

The current estimate from engineers is electric planes could be used on some short-haul routes by 2035. Many reports suggest we have to end carbon emissions completely by then, to keep the planet habitable, which means there’s every chance the electric planes will be available for long-haul flights just a few years after the human race has died out, so what is there to worry about?

Hancock seems to be as responsible as most world leaders in combatting the threat to our existence. For example, Australian prime minister Scott Morrison destroyed the argument of scientists who warn about the danger of fossil fuels, when he took a piece of coal into parliament and said: “I’m not scared of this.” At last here was some common sense, in the same way you might take a hair off a dead lion into parliament and say: “I’m not scared of this,” thus proving it’s safe to let lions wander round the city centre.

And Donald Trump won’t meekly back down to the climate’s demands, because he’s prepared to stand up to it. Before this year’s election he’ll announce: “I’ve spoken to the climate, and let me tell you, it’s ready to do a deal. It was tough but it’s ready, it’s a great deal, a terrific deal, you know I spoke to our policemen, I love our policemen, they told me they love snow, this deal’s going to get us a lot of snow.”

One problem is climate change scientists are seen as part of the “elite”, telling us ordinary people what to do. And you can understand why so many people are sick of being dictated to by powerful global bullies such as Swedish teenagers with their hair in plaits, so it’s no wonder the everyday working-class oil company executive and common Saudi prince have had enough.

So the British government is simply appealing to hard-working families, who don’t have time for daft middle-class issues such as whether we all die.

Matt Hancock should make a more complete statement, saying: “The UK weather service announced this week that 2019 was the second-hottest year on record, and the last 10 years the hottest decade on record, and this was driven by man-made carbon emissions. But they don’t know nothing, along with Nasa and people who spent the last 40 years studying Alaska. Bollocks to all of them because my mate Terry knows someone at the council and says it’s all made up by Attenborough, so he can make programmes about polar bears.”

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And this is all part of the strategy for winning the election in 2060, by five votes to three among the eight people left alive (all three on the losing side will stand to be the next Labour leader).