If a critical, playoff-deciding, season-finale match is played and no one can watch it, does it still hurt when your team loses?

Yes. The answer is a resounding yes.

The final two games of Greenville FC’s inaugural season were the epitome of “the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.” What this team has done and meant to the city they represent is beyond words. That has not, however, prevented many from attempting to put it into writing.

Just go peruse Twitter for Greenville’s mentions today. Look at what the players are saying. Look at what the fans are saying. Hell, look at what their biggest rivals, the team that took their playoff spot, are saying. Even I tried to give you a taste of what this team has meant to me last week, albeit in more hopeful circumstances.

Somehow, none of it feels like enough.

Nevertheless, we must tie a bow on the season. This will be my feeble attempt to do so.

The Game

As much as I do not want to write this up, I feel like the season finale must be discussed in order to fully understand what led to the emotions everyone is feeling now.

Going into the matchup on Saturday, Greenville’s road to the playoffs was simple: Win and they were in. Otherwise, they only needed to better or equal the result of Asheville City, who was on the road against a tough New Orleans team.

Before we talk about the match itself, we should talk about professionalism, courtesy, and one of the most basic tenants of human life in 2018: live streaming. Every team in the NPSL’s Southeast Conference streams all of their home games except two: Emerald Force SC and Inter Nashville FC. To Emerald Force’s credit, I guess, their supporter’s group does stream some of the matches, but not all.

Inter Nashville, on the other hand, has not streamed a home match since their inception. I am not sure who is more at fault in this situation: the NPSL as a league, for apparently not having home streaming as a requirement, or Inter Nashville themselves, for not thinking this is important.

One of the greatest hindrances to the growth of soccer in this country up to this point has been access. While access to international leagues is still growing, it is astonishing that there are issues having access to domestic league games. In 2018, with all the technology available, it is incomprehensible how Inter Nashville could not pay a 15 year old in concessions to go stand in the bleachers with a cell phone to stream the game.

*Steps down from soapbox, deep breaths*

The match itself started on the right foot for Greenville as centerback-turned-striker David Koprowski put Greenville in the lead in the second minute. The one-goal lead would remain through the halftime whistle, leaving fans feeling good at the break.

The second half had fans chewing their fingernails early and often while refreshing Twitter, but back-to-back goals put Inter Nashville in the lead (55', 59'). Greenville fans who were keeping an eye on the New Orleans vs. Asheville City match at this point were even more nervous, as they were seeing Asheville nursing a 2–1 lead over the Jesters.

But Greenville converted a penalty in the 81st minute to allow a sliver of hope to rush back in. Asheville was still up 2–1 at this point, but a late New Orleans equalizer would put Greenville through to the playoffs, and of course a late Greenville goal would also book the ticket.

Sadly, the last remaining vestiges of hope evaporated early in stoppage time as Inter Nashville put a dagger through the hearts of Greenville fans with a 92nd minute game winner.

The dream of the playoffs in the inaugural season had come to an end.

The Fallout

“Football can be cruel at times.” Those words that the team tweeted out after the match hurt. They felt like salt in the wound. They felt so present, so real. They had a finality to them.

I have recently been watching a docuseries on the Audience network called “The Pitch.” The show tells the stories of soccer fans. As I have watched these episodes, I have found myself drawn to the connection these fans feel to their teams.

My soccer fandom has always been from afar. I am a fan of Chelsea FC in London, a mere 4,000+ miles from my house. I am a fan of Atlanta United FC, 150 miles from my home. My US National Team fandom feels distant too, because I have never seen the team play in person.

But Greenville FC: they are my hometown club. I can sit in the stands for every match just feet from the players on the pitch. I can shake their hands, take pictures with them, and have a laugh together after the match. I am more connected to them than I have ever been to one of “my teams.”

So while I hate for any of the teams I follow to fall short of their goals, this time it is different. It feels so much more painful. The consequences have a real and meaningful impact. It will have an effect on these players who I have come to know and love, my fellow fans who have poured their love and life into this team for the last several months, and the coaches and staff who have to now move on to 2019.

I will have to move on to 2019 as well.

Goodbye to the Season

The wounds are still fresh in my soccer-loving soul from the abrupt ending to this season, a season that saw the first Carolina Clasico come home to Greenville. I am not sure I can add much to the many, many words of gratitude going out to the team on social media.

I have tried to say my piece through the season, and I am sure I will be able to organize my thoughts and emotions better in the coming weeks, so stay tuned for that. And try to watch our Carolina rivals in the playoffs, I guess. (Their first game is against Inter Nashville tonight at 8:30 p.m.)

But for now, the best thing I can think to do is leave you with the immortal words of the greatest R&B group of my lifetime: Boyz II Men.

Although we’ve come to the end of the road, still I can’t let go. It’s unnatural. You belong to me. I belong to you…