OXFORD, UK. The Bioinformatics Society (“BS” for short) have declared that they will reach their aim of every bioinformatician having their own personal short-read aligner by the end of 2016, The ScienceWeb have learned.

There are approximately 28,362 scientists globally who identify themselves as being “bioinformaticians” or “computational biologists” (those who identify themselves as “bioinformagicians” have been excluded – not just from this analysis, but from life in general). A recent survey of short-read aligners identified 23,872 different software tools, all of which basically do the same thing.

“We’re almost there!” exclaimed base-pair hyper-bot Hang Li from the Broad Institute. “As soon as I published that paper on the Ferris Bueller transform, I knew the field would take off! And it has – we have one valuable publication and 23,871 incremental improvements” finished the Hang Li AI, a 7-dimensional intelligence that exists only in the minimal amount of memory need to represent a human.

The field of bioinformatics sequence analysis has been criticised by other areas of science for basically solving the same 3 problems over and over again, sometimes with only a marginal improvement and often with a marked deterioration in quality.