Dating is tricky. You wanna present your best self while remaining true to said self. A first date is not the time to air every bit of dirty laundry in your proverbial hamper, but there are some things you should cover early on. Your date should be able to set expectations and decide what kind of future is possible with you, so don’t shy away from disclosing these personal factoids. (Bonus: Self-reflecting on some of these details may help you figure out what it is you want or need.)

Your intentions

Don’t outline your five-year plan or discuss your favorite baby names, but be transparent about what you’re looking for. Nothing is wrong with looking for a casual hookup, unless you’re wasting the time of someone who’s on the hunt for a LTR. In the wild world of dating, it's impossible to preserve everyone’s feelings, but aligning expectations from the jump is the next best thing.

Whom you voted for in 2016

We no longer have the luxury of filing politics under “casual conversational taboo.” We have to talk about politics. If someone is staunchly pro-life or anti-DACA, you have to know that before you get naked with them.

Whether you’re a parent

Even if you're just exploring a FWB situation, the other person should know if you have kids. Don’t wait until your date is navigating your toy-strewn apartment while Junior spends the night with your baby mama to explain.

If you’re looking for “a partner in crime”

“Partner in crime” is perhaps the most-loathed phrase of all dating-app bios, but it points to something important. Having hobbies you’re passionate about is hot—but if it turns out that said hobby is camping, and you need me to be around for/enthusiastic about it—that’s a no for me dog.

If you like guns

Not only are firearms pretty dang divisive, but NRA membership can flag several other lifestyle details a prospective partner should know about, like Justice Scalia stan-dom. Or massive disposable income.

Pet allergies/ownership

One time I was on a third, very promising date with a beautiful Canadian man when he mentioned a crippling cat allergy. This guy had inexplicably swiped right on my default Tinder photo featuring my two cats draped across my body. He actually said, “If this is going somewhere, it’s eventually going to be me or the cats.” I chose the cats. He was a delight, but I also kinda wish he didn’t waste my time with those first dates when the relationship was already doomed!

If you have an “untraditional” relationship style

Don’t wait until the second date to reveal your open marriage. Likewise, don’t wait to tell me that you live with your ex-wife. (This does happen: Dude didn’t even tell me until we were back at their shared apartment.) If you practice ethical non-monogamy or sexual anarchy, you know it can be honest and dope—but not everyone is into sharing (especially partners). Plus, if sex is on the menu and you withhold this life detail, it’s kinda dishonest.

A vague idea of where you live

No cross street needed, but if our relationship would basically be long-distance, I need to know. Just because you met me for drinks in Manhattan doesn’t mean I’m cool taking the train to the Connecticut suburbs to see you.

If you’re on the brink of a major life change

Are you poised to start a new job, or balls-deep into a separation? Mention that. Huge milestones like that can mean serious incoming stress and/or unavailability. And, for the love of all that is holy, tell your date about imminent, far-away moves.

If religion is super important (or super not) to you

Some people don’t care whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or nothing at all—but the ones who do care tend to care very much. Even if this isn’t an issue right away, if you’re both on the long-haul path, it’ll come up eventually.

Dietary restrictions and/or sobriety

This is less a relationship-definer than a practical consideration. If you're a vegan, I want to know so I don’t suggest we meet at a steakhouse. And I want to know if you're not into booze so I don't plan a dive-bar date. Don’t sweat going deep into your radical PETA-parading college days, but do mention various restrictions in passing. No one should have an issue with someone who doesn’t do meat or cocktails, but bringing it up can be a good litmus test for closed-minded, insecure jerks.

Whether or not you even consider this a date

For some people, an initial IRL encounter might be more of a “meet and greet” than a first date. Years ago, I met a distant colleague for drinks and continued to do so—sans smooching or anything of that ilk—every few months. I didn’t realize we’d been going on dates until he randomly tried to kiss me as I sprinted down the stairs to the subway. I was so surprised that his mouth didn’t even catch mine. He got me right on the neck. It would have been helpful info to know what he was interested in before that moment. Don’t send a GCal invite explicitly stating “DATE NIGHT” (unless the date is with me—calendar invites are my love language), but you should casually convey, over text or something, that it’s a date. You can even say something cliché like “Great! It’s a date.”

Your job’s weird hours

If you bartend or have a highly neurotic boss who regularly texts—and expects a response—at 2 A.M., it’s helpful to let your date know what kind of logistical hurdles he or she can anticipate.

Your wildly specific dealbreakers

For some women, bad hats won’t fly. I know others who refuse to date people with outie belly buttons. Even if it’s something slightly superficial, if it’s actually going to turn you off from an otherwise good situation forever, speak up. Like, me, personally? Well...

If you’re a cop

Recently, I came across one Tinder bro with the Pete and Pete theme song in his bio. I swooned right up until his profession came out: Since I'm an open and frequent cannabis enthusiast, we were forced to amicably unmatch. I applaud his transparency, but it could never be.