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"Do not test my patience again, Father."

But When You're an Adult ...

Adulthood isn't about the job ... it's about contribution. We automatically know that the dad in that psychotic 9-year-old's example isn't a true adult, even though we know nothing else about his life. Why? It's not because he drinks. Plenty of well-adjusted, respectable people drink. It's not because he doesn't have a job. There are millions of at-home parents across the globe who sure as hell aren't considered social strap-ons. They contribute by making a better environment for their children and taking pressure off of their spouse's back.

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But just from those few sentences, we know that this dad is a piece of shit, because he sits back and just exists while the mother does all of the major work, both in and out of the house. I can remember only a handful of years that my dad didn't live with his mother. Even when he had a job, he spent all of his money on booze and personal bullshit. He worked his ass off but contributed virtually nothing to his family or society. He went to his grave never having reached the status of "adult." But, man, could he draw a mean cartoon penis on an Etch A Sketch.

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He never figured out how to erase them, though, so he just bought new ones.

On a more literal note, does being an adult mean that you have to physically work more than when you're a teenager? It can mean that. It depends on the career you choose and how much of your life you want to devote to it. But looking back on my own high school years, I don't think I work any harder now than I did back then. Think about it: Your day doesn't end after eight hours at school. You still have homework to do. Tests to study for. Projects to complete. Do you play sports? Are you in the school band? Chorus? Drama? Fight Club? If so, you're probably putting in more hours a week than I am.