It feels silly to say that this fourth season of Riverdale has been relatively calm, what with cult leader Edgar Evernever (Chad Michael Murray) building a rocket, Jughead Jones (Cole Sprouse) “dying,” and Archie Andrews (KJ Apa) becoming The CW network’s one hundredth masked vigilante. But it’s true… Unlike the feverishly plotted third season, Season 4 has managed to mix weird plotlines with actual high school shenanigans.

…That is, until this week’s episode, “Chapter Sixty-Three: Hereditary,” written by James DeWille and directed by Gabriel Correa (who also directed the powerfully heartfelt Season 4 premiere, “In Memoriam“). Though there’s plenty of over-the-top weirdness, particularly thanks to Cheryl Blossom’s (Madelaine Petsch) continued entanglement with her brother’s corpse and a doll that may or may not be haunted by the spirit of the brother she ate in the womb (sorry, what did I say about a calm season? Never mind), by episode’s end, every ongoing plot has been tossed around, with seismic shifts coming for every character in the show.

Here’s what you need to know, going in, other than the aforementioned plot involving Cheryl and her shockingly supportive girlfriend, Toni Topaz (Vanessa Morgan). Archie has been patrolling the streets to keep his community center, and the town’s youth, safe from a predatory criminal known as Dodger (Juan Riedinger). Meanwhile, his girlfriend Veronica Lodge/Luna (Camila Mendes) is reeling from the double trial of her parents, Hermione Lodge (Marisol Nichols) and Hiram Lodge (Mark Consuelos), as well as the surprise revelation of her half-sister, Hermosa (Mishel Prada).

Betty Cooper is dealing with a half-sibling of her own, FBI agent Charles Smith (Wyatt Nash), who she’s beginning to suspect might be a serial killer, thanks to their shared serial killer gene. And Charles’ other half-sibling, Betty’s boyfriend Jughead, who is not related to Betty so stop making a big deal about it, is attending an elite school called Stonewall Prep. There, he’s rediscovered a Hardy Boys-esque mystery series called the “Baxter Brothers,” as well as the school’s strange connection to his grandfather, Forsythe Pendleton Jones I (Timothy Webber).

Whew. Okay, let’s get to some teasin’.

1 Choni, Don't Telli Honestly I don’t know what “Choni, Don’t Telli” means here but I’m running out of Choni puns, so let’s move on. As mentioned, Cheryl is still wrestling with the corpse of her brother Jason, and the evil doll that may — but is probably not — haunted by her other brother, Julian. Those looking for a realistic exploration of what led Cheryl to this point should probably turn elsewhere. But if you’re enjoying the sort of gothic, campy horror that makes Ryan Murphy say, “aw, wish I had thought of that,” you’re in for a treat. In the episode, the already crowded Thistlehouse gets a few new surprising visitors, a few other ghosts haunting its halls, and an off-screen scene that is… Maybe one of the most upsetting things the show has ever done? Your mileage may vary, but whatever your take, by episode’s end — like everyone else — Cheryl and Toni are in serious trouble.

2 A Game Of Chic'n Trying to find answers to what Charles is really up to, Betty Cooper does what she always does: goes to talk to the worst person imaginable. In this case, that’s Chic (Hart Denton), the man who pretended to be Charles, then pretended to Jason Blossom, and somewhere in between that tricked Alice Cooper (Mädchen Amick) into killing a man. And though the milk-drinking weirdo has been a serious adversary in the past, Betty may get some actual answers — though they’re not exactly the ones she might expect.

3 Kiss The Girl Speaking of Betty, though Jughead is off on a fevered mission of his own, the two find time for a little canoodling at Pop’s, and yes, I was born in the 1920s. In one of the episode’s sweetest moments, while Jughead is focused on the business at hand, Betty might be focused on getting some sugar from her honey. This is a long way of saying it’s a cute Bughead scene. You’re welcome.

4 Another Brick In The Stonewall While I can’t tell you what’s going on in the GIF above, I will say that Jughead gets much deeper into the mystery of the “Baxter Brothers” novels this week, leading to several big reveals that will change the way you think about several characters. Suffice to say, things get real dark, real quick.

5 Sibling Rival V Veronica’s dealing with her own issues this episode — though she does find time to support Archie, more on that in a second. Specifically, her sister Hermosa rolling into town, which causes some serious sibling rivalry. Of course Hiram is working his own angles here, even with his own flesh and blood — some things never change — and ultimately, Veronica may learn some lessons about why blood is thicker than water.

6 It's A Family Affair Alice and her long-time love FP Jones (Skeet Ulrich) are finally living under one roof. And while there are no romantic scenes between the duo this episode — sorry, you’ll have to keep waiting for that kiss that was promised in the Season 4 trailer — there is some serious family drama going down that digs up some sins from the past. Good thing the family includes Riverdale’s greatest news reporter, the town sheriff, and an FBI, agent, right?