AMERICA—After a week of honest labor, over a dozen unregistered Mexicans reportedly met under the cover of darkness on Saturday for an illegal Raping competition.

“We usually leave the sexual assaulting to rich white males in college but occasional us Mexicans enjoy sneaking into your communities and raping your white women,” Fernando Perez told reporters, as various rapists started their pre-rape warm-up routines.

Perez continued saying, “Honestly, none of us actually enjoy the raping but after escaping from the Cartels of Mexico so that we can work long hours picking fruit for low wages as well as other jobs that Americans don’t want to do, it’s only right for us to spend the small amount of free time we have on raping innocent white women.”

Just as the contestants were ready to assault the unsuspecting white women, the Mexicans decided to call the contest off and go home after they remembered they weren’t cartoon caricatures dreamed up by a madman.