There’s nothing quite like pooping at home. It’s your home turf. If you clog the toilet, no one cares.

Sure, you might have a few children who try to muscle their way in on you when you’re going number two, but that’s a dream compared to trying to poop in public.

Pooping in public, specifically outside of your workplace, isn’t always the best experience. There could be other people in the bathroom with you. Someone may have left behind a disgusting situation. The bathroom itself might just be unsuitable to do the deed.

We asked for some help in naming some of the toughest places to poop in public in the Lehigh Valley and here they are, in all of their poopy glory.

Please keep in mind that just because it’s tough to poop somewhere, doesn’t mean that place isn’t awesome, it’s just maybe not the best situation in the history of the universe to take care of business.

The Funhouse, Bethlehem

The Funhouse is one of the most iconic and, for lack of a better term, fun places in the Lehigh Valley. Bands have cut their teeth in this south Bethlehem bar for decades. Live played there years before they were, you know, Live. They have live music every day of the week and a lot of that is local live original bands, which is something that many places don’t do.

But, pooping there isn’t something you want to do. In fact, we discourage it. Not only is the bathroom small and exactly like you’d find in any L.A. “dive” live music venue, but there’s no lock and since it’s usually pretty loud, no one is really going to waste time knocking before they open the door, whether you’re in there or not.

Mothers, Easton

Ever want to take a poop while anyone walking in can watch? Nope? Well, you can experience that at Mothers in Easton since there isn’t a door on, at least, the men’s bathroom toilet stall.

There’s something to be said for making eye contact while or with someone taking a poop at the bar.

Mothers is still one of the great bars in the Lehigh Valley. Just do your business before you go party!

Cedar Beach Park, Allentown / Sand Island Park, Bethlehem

Bathrooms are a necessity at both of these public parks. They offer some of the most beautiful spots in both cities, but some of the worst places to drop a deuce.

Since public park bathrooms aren’t exactly places the city wants to have to roll in on every day to clean up, unlike a nice restaurant, both bathrooms are constructed with metal toilets that aren’t very forgiving in any temperature under 60 degrees.

Also, who knows who else you’re going to find in those spots.





Unclaimed Freight / BJ’s / Walmart / Target

Unfortunately, sometimes you need to go when you’re shopping. Thankfully, most stores now have restrooms you can use. This seems like a thing that only started within the last 15 years or so. When I was a kid, I distinctly remember going to some larger stores and having to pee and knowing full well that I was going to have to hold it until we got somewhere else.

If you have to go at one of these stores, or those like them, be prepared to have the most uncomfortable ten minutes of your life. They are cold. They are kind of an afterthought. And they were meant for you to get in and get out.

The Giant in Palmer Township

Direct quote from a reader; “Good lord, broken doors…limited TP and so much deodorizer that you choke on the stench of old shit and mango”.

And another

“All of the doors are broke and you have to hold them closed while you try to owe and wipe at the same time 😂”

Honorable Mentions: Bethlehem Skateaway, Musikfest, The Allentown Fair, and The New Street Pub!

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Check out our buddies at Tastings & Tours! The Lehigh Valley is ripe with wineries and Tasting & Tours makes it easy and fun to visit them all!

Winery, brewery & distillery tours in Bucks & Lehigh/Berks Counties PA & Cape May NJ. Tours run Tuesday through Sunday. www.tastingsandtours.com

