Master Corporal Matiru deployed four times to Afghanistan, with the 1st Battalion, Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry and then with Joint Task Force X. He wrote Dark Shadow during his third tour. MCpl. Matiru took his life on Jan. 15, 2013.

Once again I see my shadow

He does not leave my side

Clinging to me at every turn

As before his taunts are unrelenting



Mother prays he lets me be

My return will ease her worry

I keep my shadow at bay

Writing home that all is well



I am longing for high noon

My shadow will be no more

I have a job to do

The ominous shadow must be ignored



I venture into the city's heart

My protection, cunning camouflage and gun

My shadow creeps an inch closer

He anticipates his chance to strike



Mission complete: time for some reflection

Reliving those moments of extreme tension

The young man on the motorbike

A suicide bomber, shadow's willing conduit



He missed his chance this time

Yet he remains by my side

Not willing to give me up easily

Knowing more missions are to follow



Why am I here I ponder

Dancing with my shadow once again

I realize I have no fear

I am numb to his derision



The sun is shifting way above

High noon is approaching with haste

I see my shadow slowly shrinking

Home is beckoning my destiny awaits



Not every man evades his shadow

This theatre filled with such violence

Today another of ours has fallen

Man's hatred toward man so senseless



Charles Wahome Matiru, Afghanistan, June 8, 2009

This article is part of The Unremembered, a Globe and Mail investigation into soldiers and veterans who died by suicide after deployment during the Afghanistan mission.



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If you would like your relative included in the commemoration project of Afghanistan war veterans lost to suicide, please e-mail

remember@globeandmail.com

More from The Unremembered project

Suicide toll reveals how system failed Canada's soldiers and veterans A Globe and Mail investigation into soldiers and veterans who died by suicide after deployment during the Afghanistan mission

Remembering Canadian Afghanistan war veterans lost to suicide Dozens of families shared stories of Forces members who served, then suffered. For many of the soldiers, this is the first public recognition of their sacrifice

Behind the story: How The Globe set out to commemorate Afghanistan war veterans lost to suicide The project also examines whether the military and Canadian government did enough to help struggling Forces members recover