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Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence

Posted on by null and void

CAMDEN (Feb 1): The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition for flatulence is brief: "flatus expelled through the anus." And while it's a natural bodily function, it seems some Camden-Rockport Middle School eighth-grade boys are taking it to new heights and making a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest flatus. Advertisement

According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.

"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"

According to a group of seventh-grade students milling around downtown following Friday's storm-related early release, the eighth-graders' escapades are well known in the school.

"They would do it in science class and other places," said Jordan Tyler. "It's a natural occurrence and we all do it 16 times a day."

When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn't remember where they heard it.

One of the other students, Kyle Ruger, said the act by the boys was funny, but he had mixed feelings about whether it was appropriate.

Jordan Knowlton minced no words when she expressed how she felt, saying, "It's gross."

Remy LeVine said he was in the class when CRMS science teacher Brad LaRoche talked to all the eighth-grade boys about the issue, as well as the consequences.

Attempts to reach CRMS Principal Maria Libby Friday afternoon were unsuccessful and school Superintendent Patricia Hopkins said she had not heard anything about the issue or the alleged suspected result, though she did get a good chuckle out of the news.

VillageSoup/Knox County Times Senior Reporter Holly S. Anderson can be reached at 207-236-2496 or by e-mail at holly@villagesoup.com.



TOPICS:

Crime/Corruption

KEYWORDS:

flatulence

publikskoolz

If they can't fart, can they fly?



To: null and void

King, the school mascot agrees with the ban.



To: null and void

But, mine don't stink. Do I get an exception? What if it is a silent but deadly one does the "smelt-her, dealt-her rule apply?



by 3 posted onby Michael.SF. ("democrat" -- 'one who panders to the crude and mindless whims of the masses " - Joseph J. Ellis)

To: null and void

Well, at least they weren’t lighting them on fire.



To: null and void

You have got to be kidding me.....this is insane.



To: null and void

Well, they just banned about 50% of eighth grade boy humor.



by 6 posted onby Will88 ( The Worst Case Scenario: McCain with a Dhimm majority in the House and Senate)

To: null and void

Sounds like a clear invitation to eat beans & franks everyday for lunch.



by 7 posted onby Excuse_My_Bellicosity (...and forgive us our farts, as we forgive those that fart against us...)

To: austinaero

*sigh* Ya THINK?!?!?



To: Will88

I’d say maybe more. (My son is in 8th grade)...



To: null and void

Al Gore would be proud...contributes to Global Warming doncha know!?!



To: null and void

Maybe it will just be a fart in the wind....



by 11 posted onby Califreak (Hangin' with Hunter-under the bus "Dread and Circuses")

To: null and void

“I fart in your general direction”.....(Monty Python)



To: Allegra; ErnBatavia; Lurkin Lurch; humblegunner

PING!!



To: Disambiguator

If they hold them in, they might spontaneously combust. This is dangerous. On the other hand, think of the implications for the globalist warmening hoax. Announcer: ‘...and Mrs Clinton’s a&s keeps getting bigger and bigger...” All the answers can be found in old South Park epsiodes. Also, these kids could use “Under-Ease” activated carbon underpants.



by 14 posted onby NDpapajoe (Way to go Ohio, We're all Buckeye Fans now!)

To: null and void

I know of a 7th grader who used to clear out a quarter of the classroom every day with noisy and very smelly gas. He would sit there and strain and all the kids would yell “Somebody stop him. He’s doing it again!” He was offered a bathroom pass, which he declined - That is when the detention was writen and he was kicked out of class for a week ...It is now legend at the school.



To: null and void

"Good thing my grandma don't go to school. With her walkin' farts problem she'd be in detention the rest of her life."



by 16 posted onby OB1kNOb (What a pathetic state of GOP affairs it has come to, picking a lesser evil nominee.)

To: null and void

It's natural, right? Go 'head ... prove it's intentional ! HaH !! My 14 yo son and his buddy roll around, laughing their asses off when they get into farting contests. I miss being that free ... God bless boys that can let go a fart and laugh like hell about it ... and burp ... and pick their noses and fling their boogers ... these guys grow up to be warriors. God bless 'em, I say.



by 17 posted onby knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true.)

To: null and void

Pull my finger...



by 18 posted onby Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)

To: Califreak

I did consider putting this in wind-Breaking News...



To: null and void

I’m so glad our young are receiving a quality education.



by 20 posted onby MrsEmmaPeel (7/9 of the Supreme Court justices at the time of Kelo vs New London were appointed by Republicans...)

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