CimateGear(TM) Ad Campaign

Great news everybody! The rich are going to survive and thrive during the coming Climate Apocalypse! Yay!

It’s the only explanation I can come up with regarding the institutional inaction and outright denial from much of the ruling class. They think they can use their considerable resources to adapt to the inhospitable hell-scape that is currently in our future. It makes sense, if you think you can survive our increasingly warmer planet, you will do nothing to slow that warming down. Throw another scoop of coal on the fire! Let it burn!

At least three prominent billionaires are publicly working on private space programmes, ostensibly to commercialise outer space. But if you take the vehicular element out of the equation, you know, the rockets, the rest of what they are researching is about surviving in a hostile environment. If you can sustain a community on Mars, you can sustain a community of the surface of our planet, once it is rendered uninhabitable. How could this not factor into their plans?

There is nothing to stop people from building the equivalent of a lunar base, here on Earth. For starters, it would be easier, as you wouldn’t need to transport your materials into space. No need to reach escape velocity to break the gravitational grasp of planet Earth, just truck, ship or fly what you need, to whatever safe site you choose.

Stephen Hawking said we would increase our chances of the continuation of the human race, if we become a multi-planet society. That may still be their goal, but these billionaire can’t count on this, so they must be preparing a way to survive the coming Climate Apocalypse on Earth. If you had billions in the bank, wouldn’t you?

Imagine an underground facility, meant to sustain life for 1,000 years. It would be powered by renewables, have access to a deep water spring, have food production facilities, waste recycling and disposal facilities, air filtration and advanced environmental controls, and it would all be self contained and self sustaining. Think of a cross between a nuclear bunker and a hippy commune. It’s not that far off from what they are hoping to build on Mars one day, only they will be building them here, while the rest of us disappear in the coming Great Die-Off.

I am very pessimistic about the future of the planet. We are doing nothing, while the climate is out of control. Right now, as I write this, there are wild fires in the Arctic Circle. That’s insane. Just last week, record temperatures were broken all over Europe. Out of the 10 hottest years on record, 9 of them happened in the last 17 years. The last 5 years, are currently the top 5 hottest years on record. Betcha 2019 tops them all. This is beyond a worrying trend. This is climate change. This is a climate crisis. This is a climate emergency.

The mainstream media is catching up with this reality. CNN now uses the words, “climate crisis” and “climate emergency” regularly on-air. The BBC had a story on their website last week, headlined “Climate change: 12 years to save the planet? Make that 18 months”. Shit is finally getting real. But shit, it is all too late.

We can’t mitigate the climate changes enough to save us all. Most of us are going to die. Hey ho.

We will try to adapt, and some will succeed. It’s already started, Sony is crowdfunding high tech personal, wearable air conditioners. I’d buy one right now.

I NEED one of these!

And that’s why today. I am launching. ClimateGearTM.

Look good, feel cool, whatever the climate!

ClimateGearTM aims to create a line of luxury environmental suits to cope with our increasingly hotter, polluted environment. Based on the same designs and technology that sustained men on the moon, 50 years ago, our suits are perfect for the coming climate apocalypse.

Will they be affordable? Of course! For less than the price of a luxury car, you can cheat death while the poor boil in their own skins. And they will come in many colours, to suit all tastes and styles.

Whether you want to nip up to the shops to pick up sunscreen, or to visit the graves of your dead ancestors, ClimateGearTM Environmental Suits will keep you cool and alive in any hostile environment, including the one we are creating here on Earth. Climate change may be the end of our society, but it doesn’t have to be the end of you and your family!

If the super rich can survive all this, it’s time for me to get super rich. These suits are a billion dollar idea. So how many ClimateGearTM suits can I put you down for? I’m taking deposits right now, for delivery mid-2020, while supplies last.

The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, online cannabis activist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years. In real life, the hippy is a senior multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience of working in news.

The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!

“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere.

You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy

