TORONTO – The Toronto Police Service is defending its high salaries by stating that the force must remain competitive against the high wages of organized crime.

“Our police force must attract the best and brutish that money can buy,” said outgoing Toronto Police Chief Bill Blair after a report revealed that over 4,000 police officers make over $100,000 a year. “It’s difficult retaining talent when organizations like the Hell’s Angels, ‘Ndrangheta and the Latin Kings offer their employees high wages with no taxes and plenty of perks. Plus, they can fire their guns whenever they want. We can’t.”

“Earning over fifty percent of your earnings in overtime is much more legitimate than, say, earning over fifty percent of your earnings shooting knee caps for missed crack-cocaine payments,” Blair added.