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- September 1st Half: Old School, New School, Online School - by Jake at 10:13 pm

We got a late one tonight my bros(and sisters). But the clock has yet to strike 12 in Delco, so this news is still certified fresh grade A on-time as always. Activity was back on track, and many of your favorite karters continued to impress. I used up all my jokes and memes on the individual entries so bear with me and let's dive right in...

New Players

Eric Palominos He sent in 2 SC times, to rank #439 [439].

Yuta Imai joins with a full set of Non-SC times, to rank #552 [554].

He also sent in 12 SC times, to rank #190 [190].

Evan Hill joins with a full set of Non-SC times, to rank #517 [521].

World Records

Non-Shortcut

Daniel Burbank beat the old Toad's Turnpike 3lap record of 2'58"12 (2'28"14)

with a new time of 2'58"05 (2'28"08)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Royal Raceway 3lap record of 2'51"26 (2'22"43)

with a new time of 2'51"25 (2'22"42)

Matthias Rustemeyer crushed the old Rainbow Road Flap record of 1'56"48 (1'36"87)

with a new time of 1'56"34 (1'36"76) Shortcut Beck Abney beat the old Choco Mountain SC 3lap record of 0'17"56 (0'14"60)

with a new time of 0'17"31 (0'14"40)

Ntsc-Only Beck Abney beat the old Mario Raceway SC 3lap record of 0'50"91

with a new time of 0'50"84

Beck Abney beat the old Mario Raceway SC Flap record of 0'15"45

with a new time of 0'15"43

Vincent Tolhuis beat the old DK's Jungle Parkway SC Flap record of 0'03"38

with a new time of 0'03"26

Non-SC Movement #1 [1] Matthias Rustemeyer reclaimed a WR on RRd flap, and made a statement with this one. Obviously it's the longest track, but a .11 converted cut isn't something you see every day. #2 [2] Daniel Burbank made some statements of his own, and also pushed the limits of what we know to be realistically possible. Dan is now inches away from 2:27/2:57 on TT, and his RRy 3lap time looks like an error. Hopefully more to come soon at the very top! #4 [4] Zoran Tintor got a classic .01 PR on MR flap, and to add insult to injury he lost AF with it. Step it up Zoki! #8 [8] Karlo Tomazelli was the man responsible, with a new top 5 MR flap to go with his two other times. He passed Lacey for 8th, in a truly "who's-first-at-the-end-of-our-lives" kinda rivalry. #11 [12] Luke Dischiave had six times this half, including two new top 5s and a new top 10. Luke gets the feeling that, somehow, raging fires from Jonesifornia to Boothegon are not enough to convince the American people that Climatee Changee is a real thing. Our boy thus took it upon himself to pass Jayden(whose wildfires are SO 2019) and bring himself one step away from the top 10. Surely the top 10 will give him the platform needed to convince the masses. #12 [11] Jayden Ly was active as well, with two PRs and minimal gain. He did get himself a new top 10 on MMF flap, and we know he's still got it. We might even be witnessing the infancy of the top-10-geezer-battle of tomorrow. #19 [19] Sean Murphy was also on the MR flap train this half, making a nice cut which gained him 10 ranks worth of AF. He didn't get much else, but polishing this annoying track is one less thing he has to worry about in the future. #29 [29] Xander Giordani isn't one of those people who stops at GOD, in fact far from it. Xander followed it up with a 19-PR update, passing seven people into the top 30. His submission featured two new top 20s, and a lot of concern for those in his immediate path... #33 [34] Glen Stevens made some attempts at MR flap GOD, coming up just shy with a .01 PR. Good news is that's one less possibility to see those flashing numbers without the goal! #46 [45] Alex Duke, to the surprise of literally no man or beast alive today, has made it to the top 50! And he didn't just squeak by either. No, he went from 51 straight to 46 with his eight new times. These featured FOUR new GODs...this damn news is like a crystal ball of who is going to pass you down the line...sigh...keep it up ya [censored]. #73 [75] Robert van Zanten played some RRy, and got the double PRs to pass three people. He did much more than that though, smashing the GOD standard on the flap and taking his PR from 117th-38th! #91 [90] Keith Turnbull would have been named unofficial news MVP if he weren't from Ohio. KT had one of the most clear breakout updates of the year, which is saying a lot. He hit 28/32 PRs, and emphatically broke into the top 100 by passing 33 people in one go! He hit six new GODs, and barely missed a few more on his way to Legend B overall. #112 [113] Cole Horan is our next top 100 hopeful, making his way there by passing one player with three PRs. Cole went 3/3 on new top 100s, and just barely missed GOD on LR flap. #145 [145] Stephane Jacquet wasn't done with top 150, as he kept moving with seven new times(six Legends). Steph passed four players, and if I know him, will be joining the top 100 guest list before long. #232 [232] Hugh Moorhead had another big week, dropping 15 new times nad passing 20 players. Our resident comedy fan is now driving Legend times, and skipped King F completely on his way to being ranked King D. #234 [237] Darek Kanig had three new times to send us, and he passed one player on the ranks. DK better step it up though, if he wants to keep up with Hugh and avoid...the others... #253 [257] Robert McKinnon is one of those others. The latest overnight celebrity of MK64 after the TT gold rush, Robert is now on everyone's radar and delivered again. He only sent in five times, but passed 13 people and is now driving Legend times for breakfast. #282 [287] Dylan Benoit is "another other" if you will, and I would say he is free to refer to himself as such even if you won't. At least until next update when I think of a different corny joke to take up some space. Anyway, let's see what this guy did. Oh yeah, 13 times and passed 27 people to smash his way into the top 300! The Gator is also now Elite A...should we tell him he has to choose a better flavor of his favorite beverage once he reaches King? #318 [325] Valentin Marie is looking to be the next one to break into the top 300, sending in six times but passing 22 players. Obviously Val made some chonk AF cuts on his way to becoming Elite B. Can't slow down though, as any veteran of the 2020 top 300-400 meat grinder will tell you... #322 [326] Patrick Dreyer is knee deep in that grind, submitting 27 PRs and getting 42 places closer to relevance. He cut a massive amount of AF, and is now cranking out Elite times like it's nothing. He went from Elite C to Elite B, but don't expect him there for long. #380 [386] Andrea Coronado kept on truckin' this half, with seven new times. Andi passed eight players, and is another player moving their times through the Elite ranks. Wild Wild West, #399 [403] Corbin West, Desperado, rough rider.

No you don't want nada, none-a-this, passed 61-a-this

Top Fourhunnathis

No longer a Pro ya, look it's like I told ya

30 times be in distress, be outta that stress when they meet C-West

Elite F so go check the site and abide

swallow your pride, don't let your lip react, you don't wanna see his hand where his stick be at... #442 [446] Lia Hansen had a big week, sending in 17 PRs and leaving 25 players in the dust. L.I.A. is hitting plenty of Elite times of her own, en route to a new rank of Master C (all the way from Pro A!) #451 [454] Sean Wood continued to bring shame upon trees, logs, Kyle VA medals, and other similarly-shaped objects by letting his rival get so far ahead. Eleven times? passing five people? Master F to Master D? Come on Woody, don't let Patrick off that easy! #461 [468] John Badasci, pronounced "John, badass he" passed seven people with six fresh PRs. His Masters are becoming Elites, so don't forget this news regular. #466 [471] Jason Joiner has to be the #biggestmover this update, and is almost making me wish the antiquated technology that used to be part of thew news machine still existed so as to see how much AF this friggin guy just cut. He dropped 25 times, and passed 308 people to propel himself into the top 500. He went from Advanced C to Pro B, and I have a feeling I will be writing more entries for him in the near future... #573 [580] Maxime Duhaime had four times for us this time around, passing 14 players for his efforts. His CM 3lap is ite I guess. #645 [669] Charlotte Crego dropped off three PRs, passing seven people. Good value, but CC will need more than that to get out of no-man's-land and into the battles listed above. You can do it! #736 [784] Jack Brown continued his methodical improvements, nailing 18 PRs and passing 44 people. The man who is the king of soul in an alternate universe also improved from Advanced D to Advanced B. #777 [815] Dylan Abney has officially made it two Abneys with full MK64 timesheets. Some find this a cute story, and some are secretly terrified. The OG's full sheet debuts at triple 7s, which is definitely not any kind of sign relating to luck.... #854 [943] Jordan Fetner is our first 32/32 submitter this half, and he somehow managed to only pass 35 people with this haul. To be fair, he did improve to Intermediate F from Beginner C, and you can never sleep on those all-around time improvers. #996 [1061] and resident pirate Gabe R broke into the top 1000 with four new times, passing six people. The guy who is apparently too cool for a last name filled in more of his timesheet, and moved up to Newbie C. #1179 [1089] Chris Leon sent in two times, and passed two people. If you've been following along, you wouldn't be surprised to know that he is pushing one track at a time. And by pushing I mean already looking at Legend potential on LR...

SC Movement #1 [1] Beck Abney did what he does, dropping a casual 3/3 Weathertenko WR for his lone submission of the half. The fact that this was a blip on the radar tells you all you need to know about MK64 in 2020. #2 [2] Vincent Tolhuis had himself a half, making a nice cut on MR 3lap and breaking the NTSC WR on DK flap (sad chef noises). #3 [3] Zoran Tintor got around to improving his CM flap, and Tenko'd his way to a top 5 time. #5 [5] Sean Murphy solidified his top 5 status with three new PRs, ranking 5, 6, and 9. Greg is actually not THAT far away now that I look at it... #13 [13] Xander Giordani had two sc times to submit, and while he didn't pass anyone he definitely made them count. He got himself a new top 10 on YV 3lap, and became Legend+ on the sc side. #48 [48] Chris Rayola was at it again, this time hitting the updated FS flap strat for a gain of two places. #61 [61] Robert McKinnon continued his breakout in shortcut, dropping seven new times and passing 14 people. The Mathman pocketed two new GODs, and a top 10 YV 3lap! #99 [99] Hayden Dunn improved his LR flap, and maybe one day he will be on Mr. Pitt's level with a Mylestyle. #171 [171] Chris Leon must have seen me typing that, because he hit a mylestyle of his own, and passed 10 players with this single time. #185 [185] Jason Joiner took his talents to sc, filling in some times with eight PRs. He passed 52 people, and top 200 doesn't seem like the end goal for this guy... #293 [293] Dylan Abney is also breaking onto the scene in sc, with six PRs. He's still filling in his timesheet, but passed 203 people into the top 300 and hit a sub 6 GOD time on YV flap. This is the guy who used to beat up on the current SC and UNI champ as kids...what could go wrong for the rest of us? #414 [414] Valentin Marie sent in double RRd times, which based on a previously incomplete timesheet yielded large gains. Valentin passed 219 people with these fresh double Elite times. #485 [485] Christoph Sinn had just one PR to send in, but it was a nice sub 5 and top 50 DK flap. Nice work!

That does it for me, I promise I only "mail it in" because our president hates the concept...Adios muchachos!



- August 2nd Half: Dog Days More Like GOD Days - by Jake at 7:44 pm

By now I think you guys know what to expect. It was madness. Lunacy. Insanity. Just more of your everyday downright ridiculousness that is Mario Kart 64 in the Year of our Toad Two thousand Twenty. TT sc 3lap is now using the "clip" where you get the effect of going out of bounds while staying in bounds. The flap has become console viable for TAS strats, and the TAS for the method in question has already been tied. Battles are raging all over the ranks, and watching the top 300-500 is like looking into a crystal ball at the (possible) future of the game. You never know who will break out next...

Announcements: 1. Congratulations to Xander Giordani for becoming the 30th non-shortcut GOD in MK64! Xander is the 4th non-sc GOD this year, breaking a tie with 2008 and 2016 to give 2020 the most new GODs in a year. This also brings the total GOD count to 7, which is by far the most of any year. 2. Congratulations to Beck Abney for winning the 150cc "skips" tournament! This comes as little shock to anyone, however if you followed this tournament you know that nothing came easy. Shoutout to Matthias Rustemeyer for finishing a close second, and for new man on the scene Kazuya Taguchi for his third place finish. Kazuya went from not playing this category to 5th on the leaderboard during the tourney! 3. If you missed any of that fun, there is a 1-try "league" in planning for the fall, so stay tuned.

New Players

Dmitri Cornish joins with 12 Non-SC times, to rank #1109 [1158].

World Records

Non-Shortcut Shortcut Vincent Tolhuis beat the old Toad's Turnpike SC 3lap record of 0'26"78 (0'32"20)

with a new time of 0'25"33 (0'30"46)

Chris Leon comes out on top of the battle for the Toad's Turnpike SC Flap record, previously 0'01"15 (0'01"38). Following Beck Abney's 0.54, this former record is broken several times via the sub-second flap strat.

The new time stands at 0'00"40 (0'00"48)

Sean Murphy beat the old DK's Jungle Parkway SC Flap record of 0'03"92 (0'03"26)

with a new time of 0'03"87 (0'03"22)

Ntsc-Only Vincent Tolhuis beat the old Mario Raceway SC 3lap record of 0'50"98

with a new time of 0'50"91

Non-SC Movement #9 [8] Karlo Tomazelli led the way for the last summer update, making some decent progress on MR. He now has both PRs on PAL, and is getting pretty close to Lacey for 8th now... #11 [11] Jayden Ly cut .09 off his WS 3lap, and well that's about all we can say about that. A PR is a PR though! #12 [12] Luke Dischiave was back in the game with five new times. Climatee didn't gain a ton of AF, but he did make some nice cuts to his total times. He also nabbed a new top 10 on WS 3lap while he wasn't busy crushing 150cc runs. #13 [14] Kyle Labelle sent in a small PR on FS 3lap, but he certainly made it count. He broke the 2:01 PAL barrier, and managed to pass Jamie for 13th by the slimmest of margins. #36 [36] Xander Giordani sent in nine times, and passed four people. He packed about as much into a submission like that as is humanly possible, including a top 10 time on FS flap! And oh yeah, as mentioned above he became the 30th non-sc GOD player...is anyone keeping track of this kid's milestone pace? #42 [42] Jake Walter kept turtling with three new times, passing no one. He did however manage to cross of both WS GOD times, bringing his total to 28/32. #46 [47] David Moll was back on the GOD grind, as he took on LR 3lap once again. The man they call "Danger" improved his PR, but came up just short of the goal time. #51 [51] Alex Duke is a good example of the current state of MK64, as the following ludicrous submission is MAYBE in the discussion for the best of the half. Duke used 11 PRs to pass four people, but remember it's tough sledding at the doorstep of the top 50. Of these times, FIVE were new GOD times! Two others were new Legend A times that barely missed being added as well. Unsurprisingly, this madman is now Legend+ and I dare say top 50 is any minute now... #68 [68] Ryan Bissen took a nice vacation from the corn fields and headed to the beach. He brought back a brand new 3lap GOD on KTB, let's see some more! #76 [80] Robert van Zanten has really been breaking through a wall lately. RVZ hit three new times, and passed four players. His times are now regularly pushing high Legend and well into the top 100... #113 [113] Cole Horan hit the double double, with dual PRs on SL and YV. He managed to pass one person on the ranks on his way to the top 100...maybe he needs a little push... #118 [117] Severin Sauer seems happy to oblige in that regard, as he closed the gap by passing three people. CV sent in 10 PRs, including a new Legend and new top 100...booze out! #149 [151] Stephane Jacquet bonjour, and welcome to the top 150! Stephane dropped 11 new times, and passed eight players to jump right into his goal rank. Some say he moved to North America specifically to train on NTSC because he didn't want to be labeled a chump. Next stop: top hundo? #207 [203] Christian Chiera is another player with an interesting fun fact. Yes, eight PRs and passing 11 people is cool, but did you know he is actually Matt Batastini's long lost son? The giveaway are his KTB times; we know about the flap, but his 3lap is now also in the top 100. #235 [236] Darek Kanig showed up with six PRs, passing a player for each one. DK currently finds himself in a no-man's-land on the ranks, but he should have some motivation to push through soon from our old buddy... #252 [253] Hugh Moorhead of course! As Jon Gruden would say, "now this guy...is the guy." Hugh nailed 11 new times, and passed 24 players as he flies through the top 300. #266 [269] Robert McKinnon drowned his sorrows over TT sc in the lava of Bowser's Castle, and got himself a consolation flap PR. He made a nice cut, but unfortunately his lone PR did not get him past anyone on the WRL. #292 [294] Josh Handeland continued the climb alongside his other news regulars, this time hitting five new times. Josh got some very chonk AF cuts though, and passed 18 players straight into the top 300! #309 [312] Dylan Benoit is in hot pursuit, and would have passed Josh had he remained inactive. Discount DB was really hitting the sauce(Gatorade) this half, allowing him to crank out 20 new times and pass a whopping 30 players. He also became our newest Elite B player! #364 [368] Patrick Dreyer is our first truly big mover this half, once again submitting 32/32 PRs, with expected results. He passed 47 payers, and not only entered the top 400 but got almost halfway through it in one go! He also moved from Elite F straight to Elite C, skipping the D entirely. #388 [394] Andrea Coronado had to reorient herself after the tornado that is Patrick flew by, but she did so nicely with five new times. Andrea passed six people to make up for the bopping and keep the climb going. #389 [387] Joel Johnson made an appearance, landing just one spot behind Andrea. JJ passed 10 people with his six PRs, and hopefully we see more from him in the future! #460 [469] Corbin West sounds like a cowboy, right? No? Just me? Ok then...anyway, Corbin had a big half, with 27 PRs. He passed an absurd 83 players, and is now well into the top 500. He also went from Semi-Pro B to Pro A, almost clearing the Pro ranks altogether! #467 [471] Lia Hansen said not so fast there partner! She started just three spots behind Corbin, and dropped 29 PRs of her own. She passed 79 people, and landed close behind him again. She also pulled the Semi-Pro B to Pro A leap...rivalry anyone? #468 [475] John Badasci had to step his game up now that he is entering the battlegrounds of the WRL, where you never know who is going to make a huge jump each week. John kept up with Corbin/Andrea, to the tune of five PRs and 16 players left in the dust. He also made it three in a row for new Pro A players! #542 [540] Robert Earle represented for the top 600 crew, passing 21 players with an impressive haul of 16 new times. One of many Roberts playing MK64 these days, he also improved from Semi-Pro C to Semi-Pro A. #587 [594] Maxime Duhaime was next up, getting some excellent ROI for his times. He hit eight PRs, and passed 35 people to break into the top 600 in style. He also upgraded from Expert A to Semi-Pro D. Nice work! #652 [675] Charlotte Crego had two times to send us, but unfortunately didn't pass anyone. Charlotte did improve a rank to Expert B though, and hey that's not nothing. #774 [782] Jason Joiner (chuckle) *joined* the action with 10 new times this half. Jason filled in his final N/A time on SL 3lap, resulting in the passing of 70 clearly inferior karters and an upgrade to the ranks of Advanced C. #889 [995] Jordan Fetner was back on the track, with 13 new times. Now sporting a complete timesheet, he passed 19 people and is now ranked Beginner C. Keep it up! #1181 [1102] Chris Leon oh come on man. Please news machine, tell me this is a mistake and this guy is not about to start playing non-sc also. According to my notes, the man they call Qwerty submitted his first non-sc times, LR 3lap and flap. To the dismay of many and surprise of none, they are already Elite(heh) and mid 300s.

SC Movement #1 [1] Beck Abney found himself doing some more damage control, and the champ improved both of his JP 1.0 new TT times. He nailed the sub-second flap, but still finds himself third there...more to come I'm sure #2 [2] Vincent Tolhuis also played new-TT dual, hitting the WR on the 3lap, but losing his WR on the flap. He did come up with a sub-second PR good for fourth however. #3 [3] Zoran Tintor was right there with the top two, making use of his newly acquired Japanese cartridge. Zoki nailed second place on both TT tracks, and added a clean Weathertenko+2 regular SC 3lap on CM. Things are looking bleak for... #4 [4] Greg Ihnatenko, but that hasn't stopped him yet. Greg also hit dual TT times, including third place on the 3lap and a big cut via the old-new strat on the flap. Don't let Zoki off that easy! #5 [5] Sean Murphy had an amazing half, with five new times including the following: one new top 10, three new tops fives, and one PR that not only did both of those but broke a WR! Smurfy's DK flap WR helped him get into the top 5 on SC...where will he go from here? #7 [7] Jayden Ly was another dual-new-TT submitter, but he only got enough from these times to pass some scrub back into 7th. Things are getting interesting in the top 10, that's for sure. #13 [13] Xander Giordani wasn't about to take the week off to celebrate non-sc GOD. No, instead he went out and hit five sc times, smashing through a graveyard past four people. And yes, if you were wondering, three of these five were new GOD times as well... #31 [31] Luke Dischiave reminded us he can still do it on the sc side as well, dropping off a near-top 10-miss on RRd sc flap. #33 [33] Daniel Burbank practiced his favorite pastime of making a joke of his friends' hard work, this time with double MR improvements. Dan passed one player on the ranks, and his 3lap is both a new top 10 and new GOD time. GOOD JOB DAN. Surprise! K65 wasn't the Kart Bros at all! It was #169 [168] David Moll unhoarding a boatload of shortcut PRs, many years in the making. These 11 times included four GODs, and moved him past 325 people into the top 200. Moll also went from Master D all the way to Elite C in the process. #171 [171] Joel Johnson had 12 PRs for us, as he continued to fill out his sc timesheet. Joel passed 129 people into the top 200, and even got his first Legend time via a very...unique...YV flap. #179 [179] Seth Colpitts played some WS, and got a double PRs there. Mr. Pitt passed 20 people, and his flapis a new top 100! If you see #181 [181] Chris Leon "on the corner with a 40 it ain't gon' be named OE"...no, it will be his first MK64 world record, the TAS-tying .40 on TT flap. It's always scary when talented Eliters cross over to MK64, and this is exhibit A. The Q also added a RRd flap spiral time, for an additional GOD. All of this nonsense got him past 47 people and up to Elite C. #220 [220] Paul Lewis dabbled in short cutz, and passed six people with his two PRs. Top 200 soon Pauly? #237 [237] Jason Joiner was putting in work on both sides this half, and in SC he got dual PRs on CM and WS. Three of these four were new Elites, and CM 3lap is now top 100. Oh yeah, he also passed 58 people, not bad bro! #274 [273] Eric Liikala is our other resident Elite-transplant, and he too enjoys some less-driving-intensive shortcuts. The Ice Man improved his new TT flap, and added the 3lap which was a nice top 20. Let's not get carried away now... #322 [322] Christian Chiera sent in dual MR times, but managed to pull the fabled "cut fewer frames than times submitted" and not surprisingly gained nothing from these. Stay on the grind! #519 [519] Christoph Sinn improved his DK flap, which is moving closer to the top 100. This lone time got him passed five people, talk about efficiency!

That does it for me you crazy kids! Tune in next time to see if I do any better with your beloved news!



- August 1st Half: Traffic Jam - by Jake at 9:50 pm

Well, well well....it really happened. For all those randos in twitch chat, for all the casuals who stumble upon a Weathertenko stream...we have the answer to your burning question: Yes, there are more shortcuts in this game. Forgive me if I accidentally deliver fake news in this update, there was a lot to include and I tried to be as concise as possible. New shortcuts were recently developed on Royal Raceway and Rainbow Road for 150cc, and this finish-line-fever led to a new shortcut gold rush on Toad's Turnpike. This led to many people hitting their first WRs, possibly best shown here:

https://mkwrs.com/mk64/display.php?track=Toad%27s+Turnpike&m=1

https://mkwrs.com/mk64/display.php?track=Toad%27s+Turnpike&f=1&m=1 Drew Weatherton solidified his place on Mt. Kartmore by becoming the first player to hit the new SC on console. The shortcut quickly evolved in roughly the following sequence: 1. 3lap times just over 1 minute or so

2. flaps seemingly maxed at 5.49 NTSC, after Dan Burbank unveils the use of Xenosliding(quickly toggling the stick while in a slide, even if not adjusting your line with it).

3. 3laps under 40 seconds(NTSC) done by driving backwards to a checkpoint, then looping through the guardrail and back onto the track.

4. Japanese 1.0 version enables different finish line manipulation, resulting in 27-30 second 3laps and 4.3x flaps.

5. Clipping in-out of the wall without getting stuck, similar to the Weathertenko, is found to be viable and nullifies JP 1.0 for the flap. Mark Jones also uses this to break the 3lap WR.

6. Kyle Labelle uses wall clipping for a 1.18 second flap WR, which would be tied by Beck Abney and beaten by Robert Mckinnon(holding sole possession of a WR despite being a new player!) and Vincent Tolhuis(current WR 1.15) 7. An experiment takes place following a 0.40 flap TAS by Weatherton, resulting in Kyman hitting 0.82 on console using methods("pause buffering") which have caused some debate in the community. This time is currently not listed, but may be added in some form in the future.

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6GU59PyuDc Another important change: as a result of this madness, PRWR has been removed from the SC WRL formula. It will now be AF only.

New Players

James Casey joins with 1 Non-SC times, to rank #1211 [1196].

Omar Martinez Ramirez He sent in 1 SC times, to rank #588 [588].

Enrique Gonzalez joins with 16 Non-SC times, to rank #1046 [1059].

Corbin West joins with a full set of Non-SC times, to rank #543 [551].

Dylan Abney He sent in 1 SC times, to rank #496 [496].

Christoph Sinn He sent in 1 SC times, to rank #524 [524].

Christian Tse joins with 8 Non-SC times, to rank #1132 [1148].

He also sent in 1 SC times, to rank #600 [600].

World Records

Non-Shortcut

Daniel Burbank beat the old Mario Raceway 3lap record of 1'27"55 (1'12"81)

with a new time of 1'27"51 (1'12"78) Shortcut

See links for new TT SC WR progression Ntsc-Only Vincent Tolhuis beat the old Choco Mountain SC 3lap record of 0'15"67

with a new time of 0'14"65

Non-SC Movement #1 [1] Matthias Rustemeyer is feeling the seasonal creep, and getting spooky in August. He tied the BB flap WR via gab split, and it seems he isn't done there... #2 [2] Daniel Burbank pushed the limits of MR 3lap once again, just barely missing the 4x goal. Keep going bro! #4 [4] Zoran Tintor also played some MR, but the flap. Zoki made a small cut, but that's how it goes on the game's shortest track. #9 [8] Karlo Tomazelli is BACK on top as king of the Amazon. The new-old Brazilian champ got past Marcos for 9th place with three new times, including a new top 10 and TWO new top 5s! Parabens! #12 [12] Luke Dischiave had a lone WS 3lap time, which didn't cut a ton of AF but did cut over a second. Work out those totals! #14 [14] Kyle Labelle sent us four new times, but gained nothing of note. That is aside from a new top 10 on...you guessed it, TT flap. You better watch oot for moose up there drivin' like that eh? #40 [40] Xander Giordani had a big half, passing four players with eight times. Xando crossed off two new GOD times, bringing him to 30 and oh so close to Karthalla. #42 [42] Jake Walter choked many WS flap GOD runs, and only managed a small PR there before being sidetracked by the new sc on TT. He also praises Myles and Jebus that the new sc developments did not affect the news machine. #55 [55] Alex Duke hit dual MR times, the more significant of them two being GOD on the flap! We all know how hard this one is to get, so it's amazing to see this m8 get it. Watch out top 50... #80 [81] Robert van Zanten had a very nice half, sending in five times and passing five people. RVZ made massive cuts on BC, hitting GOD on the flap! (I would make a Marty joke, but Abney's chat stole them all). #87 [88] David Lenskjold reminded us of his existence with a YV 3lap time. Hyppen passed one player, but remains on the when-are-you-making-a-comeback-forealforeal-brah list. #96 [101] Andrew Hinrichs clearly isn't satisfied with just being top hundo. Andy sent in the double PRs on MR, just barely missing the 3lap GOD. More streams! #114 [114] Cole Horan improved his already-impressive RRy times, passing one person in the process. Better watch out though... #121 [122] Severin Sauer was back to his old self, tearing it up with 16 PRs. In typical efficient German fashion, he passed one player for each of these times. CV improved to Legend D, and should have the top 100 on notice before long. #124 [125] Keith Turnbull got passed up by CV, but he's not too mad about it. KT hit five new times, including both of the GOD times on MMF. He passed three players on his way to Legend D overall, and his timesheet is home to an increasing number of top 100 times. I had to make a few phone calls and pull a few strings, but I finally got #157 [159] Stephane Jacquet back on track racking up the points for my fantasy MK64 squad. Captain Jacq hit 12 PRs, passing six players. He also moved up to King A...time for Legend and top 150! #241 [239] Darek Kanig was next up, leading the way for the top-200-chase pack. DK hit us with seven new times, and passed four people. It was also around his entry that I realized the abnormally low number of rank promotions in this update. #266 [270] Robert McKinnon had six new times, and passed 10 people. If you think this sounds like a fairly boring news update for ol' Bobby Mac...keep reading... #276 [277] Hugh Moorhead wins both #bestkartname and #biggestmover this update. HuMoor joins the A32A by improving his entire timesheet, a feat which got him past 144 players! This madman skipped the top 400 entirely, and went from Master A straight to Elite A! #310 [311] Josh Handeland made some decent improvements on BB dual, and some monstrous improvements on DK dual. He passed 16 people with just these four times, and made it to the ranks of Elite B. #339 [341] Dylan Benoit was spitting hot fire once again this half, keeping memes alive with 32/32 PRs. The second most famous DB around passed a whopping 36 people, and improved to Elite C! They grow up so fast... #377 [378] Hayden Hickey sent in eight new times, and passed a player for each one. These included a number of new Elites; it's gonna take more than an ice cube to stop this guy! #383 [387] Seth Colpitts dropped on by with three PRs, also getting some nice value at 1.0 PPPPR (players passed per PR). Mr. Pitt is also a newly minted Elite D! #394 [397] Andrea Coronado is leaving the top 500 pack behind, and is looking ahead to those moving through the top 400. Andrea passed 18 players with her nine new times, and also upgraded to Elite D. Don't worry, I won't make a "coronado virus" joke...yet #411 [412] Patrick Dreyer was a bro and kept my admittedly-kinda-lame meme of A32A alive for another update. He balled out to the tune of 65 players passed, skipping the Master ranks entirely, and leaving his rival "BTFO" as Etch would say. #456 [460] Sean Wood you gonna take that bro? Thought 12 PRs was pretty good huh. Passing 21 players? That's cute. Going from Pro B to Master F? I know a guy who has never seen Master and never will. Step it up son! With college football cancelled, rooting for players from Michigan to lose is all I got left! #461 [465] Bambi Pejic is apparently wondering if the above rivalry has room for a third(giggity). Bambi sent in 10 new times, but passed a ton(73) of players to land right in the mix. Bambi also went from Semi-Pro A all the way to Pro A. #484 [484] John Badasci dropped three new times, passing four people. His RRy 3lap was also certified more Elite than Joe Flacco in 2016. Keep it up! #546 [548] Lia Hansen was another big mover this update. Lia dropped 26 PRs, and passed 92 players to go flying into the top 600! She also went from Expert A all the way to Semi-Pro B...as if we needed more people to keep an eye on #622 [641] Maxime Duhaime is more than just another karter with a cool name. Mad Max passed a hefty 29 players via seven PRs this half, en route to a new rank of Expert A. Onward to S-P! #652 [680] Charlotte Crego sent in dual WS times, which were also dual Experts. Flando Calrissian passed six players with these new times. #757 [796] Thomas Forestier was another member of the 1:1 club this update. Thomas passed eight people with eight new times. Hope to see you in some more news updates muchacho! #908 [1022] Jordan Fetner continued to fill in his timesheet, passing 16 players via 12 PRs. This included a backwards-PR on KTB 3lap that hopefully @shadow will address post haste. #927 [1028] William Smith got jiggy with six new PRs. 19 players he was passin 'em, he askin 'em, "would you like to bounce with a brotha that's Newbie B?" (Kappa-num)

SC Movement #1 [1] Beck Abney hit the JP 3lap and the fast flap on TT, however he had nowhere to go but down and actually lost some AF due to the chaos. #2 [2] Vincent Tolhuis did the same, but managed to gain AF and swipe the WR on the flap. He also just barely missed taking the overall WR on the 3/3 Weathertenko with his impressive NTSC time. #3 [3] Zoran Tintor hit both new shortcuts on TT, but unfortunately what was a nice AF gain quickly turned into a loss for our PAL Zoki (for now). #5 [5] Karlo Tomazelli shared the same fate, briefly holding the 3lap WR until the strat became outdated and his PAL setup disadvantaged. Stay tuned for more from Karlo... #6 [6] Sean Murphy gained some AF nailing the JP 3lap on TT just in time for the update, and got a nice flap time on lap 2 of the run(where you can reasonably beat the original new-strat WR). #7 [7] Jake Walter Followed Smurfy, with a new top 5 3lap and an improved flap in the same run. #8 [8] Jayden Ly was yet another PAL victim, and his dual TT new-sc-PRs actually lost him some AF. I would not expect this to last very long however... #13 [13] Matthias Rustemeyer continues the trend, with dual TT times for a decent AF loss. #17 [17] Xander Giordani was, you guessed it, next in line for the wrath of the Kart Gods...or was he? Xander's times quickly became outdated, but he is the first person we come across who still managed to cut a good amount of AF with them. He also acquired the flap GOD as a result of the new strat. Grab your chef's hat, because #18 [18] Mark Jones was COOKING this half. In an effort to fight chumpism against MJs everywhere, Jones hit both TT times. The flap was a new GOD and the 3lap was his first ever 3lap WR! Jon' @TT! If you thought Mark Jones WRs were fitting for 2020, allow me to raise you #22 [22] Robert Szabo showing back up to submit a time. Etch played the new TT flap, and checked off the newly neutered GOD time. He also passed one player...return to top 20 soon? #34 [34] Daniel Burbank was another 2/2 JP/fast-flap submitter, however Dan was reminded that SC is a harsh mistress. The previous holder of both WRs was bound to lose AF here. He did gain AF/pass one player overall though, due to hitting the RRY flap warp. #43 [43] Lewis Richards was bound to get in on the action, and he sent the double TT PAL times. TYG got himself both GODs, passed five players, and even became King A in sc! #44 [44] Pier-Yves Lemire didn't play MK64, which is consistent with his activity for many, many years. HOWEVER, the fact remains that he COULD play at any moment, and who's to say that isn't enough for a news entry? #50 [50] Chris Rayola was this update's blast from the past, hitting the new TT flap for a shiny new GOD time. He also passed three people with this, making his (very) long-awaited return to the top 50! #65 [65] Kyle Begley was not about to miss out on the fun, also dropping a TT flap for a new GOD. The Bagelmeister passed four people with this new PR. #71 [71] Ryan Bissen followed suit with the exact same new flap time as Kyle, and passed two people with it. #73 [73] Andrew Weatherton, the man who once again started it all, had the "fast double" to send in. He passed three people with his double-top-10 times! #74 [74] Robert McKinnon passed 8 people, and improved to King D in shortcut. But that's not why we're here. No, that is to celebrate a new-ish player's first WR! In addition to a non-JP 3lap GOD, Robert became one of the four people to hit the 1-second flap strat. We are also here to celebrate a new-ish karter's first experience with the true nature of shortcuts, as our boy lost his WR as quickly as he got it. Welcome to Mario Kart... #84 [84] Andrew Hinrichs joined the party with a new TT flap, and the large gainz took him past two people on the ranks. #97 [97] Glen Stevens, well you knew he wasn't going to sit back and watch. His dual new TT times were PAL, but he did gain some AF and a new GOD time. #116 [116] Darek Kanig finally breaks the cycle, submitting no TT times, bur rather two new Elite times on other tracks. Darek cut a ton of AF, and passed 12 people. #122 [122] Alex Duke had just one PR, a nice new GOD on MR sc flap that we can assume was acquired during the non-sc endeavor. #199 [199] Seth Colpitts cut a big chunk of time off his RRd flap, enough to pass 10 people with just this one PR! #211 [211] Kyle Labelle was another "double-fast" TT club member, and another of the few to hit a 1-second flap. Kyman passed 46 places, and established his place in MK64 history by hitting the controversial sub-1 second flap. #303 [303] Eric Liikala adjusted his controller grip to the normal-human way, and got a new TT flap. I have no idea how he managed to get 21 seconds on it, but hey he did pass 53 people with a single PR so I'm not hatin'. #443 [443] Sean Wood polished his WS/RRd flaps, and his large cuts allowed him to pass 43 people! Nice work! #494 [494] David Moll dropped his first ever WR, but his new TT flap was quickly relegated to "only" a new top 5 time. Moll also passed 134 people into the top 500 with this time. As you can see, 2020 is still going strong in the absurdity department....maybe I'll edit this entry tomorrow, or maybe see you next time.



- July 2nd Half: Forecast: Top 400 Feels Like: Top 300 - by Jake at 6:58 pm

What do Michael F. in a submarine and this news have in common? They are both deep fried! The summer of kart chaos is still going strong, with crazy new world records, a huge melee in the top 200-400, and of course the latest on The Mounties vs The Mates. So strap in for your bi-monthly dose of inside jokes, memes, interesting factoids that may or may not be factoidual, and maybe even some MK64 progress.

New Players

Lia Hansen joins with a full set of Non-SC times, to rank #623 [640].

Sam McLean joins with 17 Non-SC times, to rank #1093 [1018].

He also sent in 16 SC times, to rank #261 [299].

Jason Joiner joins with a full set of Non-SC times, to rank #844 [908].

He also sent in 8 SC times, to rank #304 [295].

Maxime Duhaime joins with a full set of Non-SC times, to rank #651 [678].

World Records

Non-Shortcut

Matthias Rustemeyer beat the old Luigi Raceway 3lap record of 1'57"88 (1'38"04)

with a new time of 1'57"87 (1'38"03)

Matthias Rustemeyer beat the old Choco Mountain Flap record of 0'38"07 (0'31"66)

with a new time of 0'38"02 (0'31"62)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Mario Raceway 3lap record of 1'27"63 (1'12"88)

with a new time of 1'27"55 (1'12"81)

Matthias Rustemeyer beat the old Bowser Castle 3lap record of 2'12"16 (1'49"91)

with a new time of 2'12"06 (1'49"83)

Matthias Rustemeyer beat the old Yoshi Valley 3lap record of 1'42"22 (1'25"01)

with a new time of 1'42"20 (1'25"00) Shortcut Vincent Tolhuis beat the old Wario Stadium SC 3lap record of 0'14"71 (0'12"23)

with a new time of 0'14"59 (0'12"13)

*The new WR was driven in NTSC Non-SC Movement #1 [1] Matthias Rustemeyer was on fire this half, dropping four new WRs as noted above. The CM flap was a really nice cut for such a difficult/short track, and the converted BC and YV times don't even look right on paper they are so fast now... #2 [2] Daniel Burbank was on the MR 3lap grind, attempting to push it down into 1:27.4x territory His WR was his only submission this half, but he is getting very close to the goal. #4 [4] Zoran Tintor wandered out of the jungle and found himself in the desert, a kind of "reverse oasis" situation if you will. The Z-man hit dual PRs on KD, including a new top 5 flap time! #10 [10] Karlo Tomazelli put in some good work this half, with double PRs on LR and BB. Three of these are new top 10s, and Karlo is now really closing in on Marcos. Will he reclaim his long lost title of Brazilian champ? #11 [11] Jayden Ly got a lone PR on KD 3lap, by .02, and managed to pull off the fabled "negative AF gain" in the news machine. Word on the street is he's distracted by the appeal of driving fast on NTSC. #12 [12] Luke Dischiave had two new times this update, but they didn't gain him much. He cut some AF, but will need more if he wants to leapfrog Jayden and break into the top 10. #14 [14] Kyle Labelle has about 27 reasons why both of the above players might want to get their karts in gear, and yes that is how many new PRs this madman drove. He passed five players, hit four new top 10s, and two new TOP FIVE times. His TT 3lap reads "9 to 5" in the AF box, and I think that is a fitting way to describe his recent efforts. Time to add a THIRD person to #top10watch. #16 [15] Michael Arends kept chipping away at RRd 3lap, and actually got the sub 5:56 PAL. He didn't gain much from this time, but don't sleep on the kid just yet. #32 [33] Glen Stevens would like to remind everyone that he is SupaOdin. Not MadDeceOdin, not HeIteOdin, not Semi-Odin F. He backed this up with four new times, passing two people, and approaching the top 30. Glen also crossed off WS 3lap GOD, and just barely missed the infamous MR flap. #41 [41] Jake Walter wrestled with the decision to kart and thus add more entries to the news, but gave in and passed one person with three new times. For added value, the WS flap and WS 3lap were done in the same run. #44 [44] Xander Giordani dropped eight new times, and passed three people with them. Xander did his part to make room for others hoping to pass TYG (thus giving us a GOD player outside the top 50, what a time to be alive). #55 [55] Alex Duke also passed three people, but he needed 16 PRs to do it. He made pretty balanced gains all around, and hit GOD on RRy 3lap. Fun fact: he is also currently the BLAE, hope Everett doesn't have OCD... #85 [86] Robert van Zanten put in some work on WS, sending two new times on the 3lap and flap. Both times went from Legend F-C and are new top 100s. RVZ also made some nice total time cuts, and bopped his way past 5 people on the ranks. It's like JFK once said; "I don't know if there are missiles in Cuba, but we can officially say that #98 [101] Andrew Hinrichs is in the top 100." That's right, everyone's favorite history teacher broke into the top hundo via 14 new times. Andy passed 9 people, and looks to be on the verge of checking off some GOD times. Welcome to the club! #115 [116] Cole Horan showed back up after deciding to take a trip to the beach (always a good decisions). Cole's dual KTB times got him past two players on the ranks. #125 [128] Keith Turnbull led the next pack with a big 15-PR submission. KT passed eight people, and better keep his foot on the gas, because he's got tailgaters... #137 [137] Severin Sauer was in hot pursuit, with seven PRs and passing a player for each one on the ranks. CV also got himself a nice new top 100 on KTB flap, but he's not the only one making his way through the top 200... #163 [162] Stephane "Leather Jacquet Thriller" made another big move, sending in 16 times and passing 18 people. Stephane improved to King B with a host of new Legend times, and is really rolling through the ranks now. Top 100 bubble karters might want to wake up sooner rather than later with this progress around 150th... #218 [215] Christian Chiera led the way for the 200s, but I have a feeling he won't be here much longer. He dropped 22 new times, and flew by 21 players. Christian improved to King D, and is hitting Legend times with ease. #245 [246] Darek Kanig was ready for the latest battle, and had another solid week. He sent in 10 new times, and passed 15 people to keep right up with the other big movers. Darek is also our newest King player, congrats! #261 [261] Luke Levy, according to the news machine, sent in 13 times and passed 32 people. He also went from Elite B to Elite A...however this is currently under review due to a possible error on his miraculous BB flap GOD. His email signature lists a phone number, so I have left him a voicemail regarding this matter which the staff hope to resolve post haste. #276 [279] Robert McKinnon had another big update, and he started a chain of players jumping into the spot vacated by the active player ahead of them on the ranks(or very close to it). Robert hit 18 new times, and passed 47 players to break into the top 300 and become Elite A. He would have passed Luke had Luke been inactive, and Robert himself would have almost been passed by the next man up had he not played. Getting crazy down here, I know. #326 [328] Josh Handeland found himself right in the middle of the action, and he both narrowly avoided being passed AND narrowly missed moving into Robert's old spot. Josh sent in eight times, and passed 20 people. Better keep it up! #329 [337] Denzel Guzman is the man who would have been just behind Josh had he not played, submitting a nice haul of 20 PRs. Denzel passed 56 players, and moved up the ranks of Elite C. Good thing he did though, because he himself would have been bopped by... #339 [344] Valentin Marie and his 14 shiny new times. Valentin passed 60 people and also became Elite C. Oh yeah, and ALSO needed this kind of progress to avoid being leapfrogged, in this case by one of the biggest movers: #375 [377] Dylan Benoit was the highest-ranking member of the newly formed A32A, or "All 32 Alliance. These clowns try to short circuit the news machine by submitting 32/32 PRs each half. Anyway, This guy followed the example of a fellow Canadian gamer and caused some havoc among Elite players. His full timesheet submission passed 77 people, and he improved an entire standard from Master D to Elite D. #412 [417] Andrea Coronado was next up, with eight PRs and passin nine people. This was hardly enough to stop Dylan, so better get back out there! #420 [BlazeIt] Hugh Moorhead heard all the commotion, and had to hit the track ASAP. He passed 22 people with his nine new times, and went from Master D to Master A. He did get leapfrogged however, so he must be ready to pick up the controller if he wants to keep one of the coveted meme ranks. #476 [480] Patrick Dreyer is the next member of the 32/32 club this half, and was part of an interesting situation. He and main rival Sean Wood had just about the most identical progress possible, and definitely that I have seen in my time as newsman. Patrick passed an insane 252 people, and moved from Advanced B to Pro B. He also managed to come out just barely ahead of the aforementioned... #477 [479] Sean Wood, who also sent in 32 PRs, also moved from Advanced B to Pro B, and passed two hundred fifty-THREE players. And yes, Sean started just two spots behind Patrick and landed just one spot behind him after both jumped over 250 places! #488 [488] John Badasci had six new times for us, and used them to pass 9 players and secure his spot in the top 500. Good move Johnnyboy, you never know when you could wake up to a handful of people flying up the ranks. #658 [685] Charlotte "flanders" Crego had a biggily updiddly, sending 14 Piddly Riddlies and passing a whoopedy 68 peedlies! Char-diddly-oodly is now top seven hoodily, and moved from Advandily-dandily A to Expertily C. Nice work Neighborino! #748 [799] Patrick Neff hit the highway, or the turnpike rather, to the tune of dual PRs on TT. Patrick's times are both new Advanced times, and gained him 6 WRL places. #1044 [1057] Sean Felix continued to fill in his timesheet, and his 12 new times got him past 52 players. The next in what seems to be a veritable conga line of Seans is still missing a bunch of times, so he should be making more big jumps soon. #1109 [936] Kazuya Taguchi chose MMF flap for this update's lucky course. He hit a nice King B time, and we are one stop closer to seeing where his full timesheet will land him. #1152 [1172] Chase Mahogany-Green made a nice cut on LR 3lap, getting it into triple digits. Nice work! SC Movement #2 [2] Vincent Tolhuis was BACK IN THE GAME YO, dropping a new WS sc 3lap WR and doing it on NTSC! Stay tuned here muchachos, he's not done yet... #7 [7] Jayden Ly also drove an overall PR on NTSC, and he got his KD 3lap into the top 10. #63 [68] Kyle Begley passed 6 people with his 3 fresh SC times, and he even managed to hit the fast WS flap strat for a new GOD/top 50 time! We want more! #77 [82] Robert McKinnon was a shortcut standout this half, with 10 new times and passing 21 players to secure his top 100 spot. Robert also hit two new GOD times via the RRd spiral, congrats! #130 [121] Alex Duke had just one SC time, but he did get his MR flap up to the Legend ranks. Nicely done Duke. #166 [159] Keith Turnbull decided to improve his egregiously bad WS dual times, and this resulted in him passing 14 players. #175 [177] Charlotte Crego is back-diddly-ack in the sad-diddly-addle, this time playing SC. Our neighborino sent eleventy new times, and gave the ol' one-twoodly to 74 people. Charly Oatly even got a top hundiddy on Dongiddy Kongiddy's Jondy Pondway flap! #294 [257] Kyle Labelle followed after Alex, submitting a long PR on MR flap. He also improved it to Legend D, just one frame ahead of Alex's time. Kyman cut way more in the process however, somehow passing 13 players with this one submission. #344 [305] Kazuya Taguchi chose WS 3lap for his sc project this time around, ending up with a respectable top 100/King D time. Kaz also passed 61 players due to this very large cut. #469 [506] Sean Felix filled in some SC times, and passed 152 people with his six new times. He even managed an Elite time on YV flap, nice work! #503 [486] Sean Wood said "Sean see, Sean do" and also played some SC. Woody passed 35 people with his two new times.

and that, as they say, is that.



- July 1st Half: SPF 64 - by Jake at 7:24 pm

Well hello again! As northern hemisphere temperatures skyrocket, it appears someone has actually turned the AC on as far as activity. This is of course by 2020 standards, so make no mistake, there was plenty going on. We are also being treated to a plethora of quality streams these days...now let's take a dive into the deep end, don't forget your floaties Bomby! Announcements: 1. The 150cc "skips" tournament is underway, be sure to tune in for what has already been a very exciting competition. New Players

Sean Felix joins with 15 Non-SC times, to rank #1096 [1100].

He also sent in 1 SC times, to rank #621 [608].

Colin Selman He sent in 1 SC times, to rank #585 [559].

Sean Wood joins with a full set of Non-SC times, to rank #730 [776].

He also sent in 4 SC times, to rank #538 [566].

Patrick Dreyer joins with a full set of Non-SC times, to rank #728 [772].

World Records Non-Shortcut

Daniel Burbank beat the old Koopa Troopa Beach 3lap record of 1'35"37 (1'19"32)

with a new time of 1'35"25 (1'19"22)

Matthias Rustemeyer beat the old Choco Mountain 3lap record of 1'55"97 (1'36"45)

with a new time of 1'55"94 (1'36"42)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Royal Raceway 3lap record of 2'51"37 (2'22"52)

with a new time of 2'51"26 (2'22"43) Shortcut

any day now...

Non-SC Movement #1 [1] Matthias Rustemeyer got the sub and th WR on CM 3lap as mentioned above, but he also got a .01 improvement on KTB flap. He eliminated his only non-podium time, and will probably not leave it there... #2 [2] Daniel Burbank continued to push his favorite courses to the limit, with amazing results. His KTB 3lap and RRy 3lap both stood at a decimal of .37, before being smashed down to .25 and .26 respectively. How low can he go? #8 [9] William Lacey continued to fight the good fight, sending LR and BC 3lap times. He only gained two places worth of AF, but his BC is a new top 5 and was a very nice time cut (sub 2:13!). #10 [11] Karlo Tomazelli is on the grind for his spot in the top 10 as well, sending in 3 new PRs. His dual BB times and new top 10 KD 3lap were juuuuust enough to keep the thunder from down under at bay....for now... #11 [10] Jayden Ly is definitely not following the recommended distancing guidelines, as he moved right up next to Karlo with 10 new times. Half of these were new top 10s, and we've definitely got a battle going....things are going to get crowded in the top 10 in the near future for sure. #12 [12] Luke Dischiave sent just a lone DK flap PR, which didn't gain him much. But we know he will be back to crash the top 10 party before long. #19 [19] Kyle Labelle also likes to ignore health and safety warnings when it comes to his rivals, this time putting fellow Ontarian and Canadian champion Smurfy at risk. Kyman got himself PAL, and as you won't be surprised to learn, he dropped 8 new times including TWO in the top 10! Stay tuned here for the inevitable bloodba-I mean um...gentlemanly fisticuffs(is that what they do in Canada?) going forward. #34 [35] Glen Stevens is older and more responsible than some of his fellow active karters, and he maintained his position in no-man's land. His dual KTB times were minor cuts, but he did nail Legend A/sub 2:02 on FS 3lap. First of all, who's #42 [42] Jake Walter? And what is he doing in the non-sc section? Apparently hitting a PR on RRy 3lap, which managed to get him past one person on the ranks. Hooray. #47 [47] Xander Giordani was next up, with 12 new times. You might think passing four people and smashing into the top 50 is impressive, but not compared to dropping LR 3lap GOD when your previous PR wasn't even sub 1:39! Yeah, he did that...watch out people #58 [58] Alex Duke shouldn't be too far behind, sending in a whopping 19 PRs, and passing 8 people. The Duke checked off 6 new GOD times, and looks to be on his way to provide reinforcements for Team Australia. #61 [59] Lenny Gutierrez had himself a news update on BB, making big moves on the 3lap and flap. His 3lap is a new GOD and top 50, and the flap missed by just .01. He cut a lot of AF, and passed one player on the ranks with it. #71 [71] Lachlan Young followed suit with 2 PRs on the same track, for him RRd was on the to-do list. Lock also cut some nice AF, and passed one person. #82 [82] Noah Gordon made a big statement this half, and showed why many felt like he left a lot on the table last time he walked away from the game. Noah thefted 8 new times, and passed one player for each new PR. He finally got around to that RRy flap GOD, and also moved up to the ever-growing ranks of Legend B. #107 [109] Andrew Hinrichs had one of his best updates ever, and is really breaking out now that he has PAL. Reading's finest dropped 16 PRs, and flew by 10 people. Andy improved to Legend C, and is now barreling toward the top 100. Do us proud! #144 [146] Severin Sauer showed why he is among the game's rising stars with another big week. Mr. CV broke into the top 150 with 12 PRs, passing 16 people. Severin is also our newest Legend, feels like they are giving this rank out for free these days! #181 [183] Stephane Jacquet might be the Esel to Severin's Hase, but he is moving right along himself. He nailed 6 PRs, and pased 5 people. The man some say will save French MK64 should be breaking into the Legend ranks shortly. #260 [260] Darek Kanig impressed once again, sending in 10 times and passing 16 players. Big D finds himself on an island in the top 300 this half, but I expect him to be up there with the top 200 squad before long. #323 [324] Robert McKinnon had a breakout half, and really started to show his potential. He sent us 9 new times, which featured such huge improvements that he passed 32 people! Robert also moved from Elite C to Elite B. Yet another player to keep an eye on (following this game would be easier if we were spiders). #339 [339] Randall Blazek made massive improvements on both YV 3lap and flap, which got him past 8 people. Unfortunately however, he got leapfrogged by Robert's crazy progress. Now go pass him back! #404MasterTimesNotFound [404] Valentin Marie was back at it with double PRs on TT and RRy. Valentin got some really good value for these, passing 18 players to land just outside the top 400. Good thing he did though, because... #421 [427] Andrea Coronado would have bopped him otherwise! Andrea passed 17 people with 8 new PRs. One of many karters whose gender I cannot easily guess, he/she also became our newest Elite-ranked player. Congrats! #440 [444] Hayden Dunn kept on truckin' through the top 500, sending in 7 new times. He dropped the bomb on 7 people, and moved from Master F to Master C. #452 [458] Dylan Benoit only sent one PR on LR flap, but he did improve his time there to Master and manage to pass one person on the ranks with it. #482 [484] Clara Bon returned again with some good progress. CB sent us 6 times, and passed 5 people. Keep the Elites coming! #497 [499] John Badasci wasn't far behind, breaking into the top 500 with 12 PRs. John passed 14 people, and improved his rank to Pro C, nicely done! #754 [809] Patrick Neff checked in with double PRs on MMF and RRd. Patrick climed 16 places, and is now Advanced C, but he might have some company soon... #777 [835] Jack Brown was the #BigMover of this update, dropping 22 PRs and passing 39 players. Jack broked into the top 800 and went from Intermediate C all the way to Advanced D, great work! #991 [1098] Eli Williamson continued to fill in his timesheet, passing 50 people and breaking into the top 1000. Stay on the grind bro! #1107 [963] Kazuya Taguchi focused his attention on FS 3lap this half, ending up with an Elite B time. This was, as usual, a massive improvement and got him past 5 people. #1118 [986] Owen Halligan sent what must be a placeholder on YV 3lap. His King A time got him past 8 people, but we all know where he is going with this... #1148 [1178] Chase Mahogany-Green continued to fill out his timesheet, sending 4 PRs, and passing a player for each.

SC Movement #1 [1] Beck Abney was back to shortcuts, improving his overall WS 3lap time via NTSC. Sadly this didn't gain him anything (except swag points). #5 [5] Karlo Tomazelli also went back to his roots, submitting dual KD sc times. His flap is a new top 5, but he actually lost a place on the 3lap...stay tuned for the explanation. #6 [6] Sean Murphy played some TT flap, improving one spot and inspiring a response as is customary. #7 [7] Jayden Ly also sent a single PR on TT flap, and actually got his time into the top 10! #17 [17] Xander Giordani was next up, and he sent in 3 quality times. X got himself 2 new top 20s, and checked off LR 3lap GOD. #25 [26] Noah Gordon is another former SC grinder who went back to it this half. The man known for SHORT CUTZ hit two PRs, the more useful of which was a new GOD on KD flap. Time to get back in the top 20! #35 [35] Daniel Burbank dabbled in the other side once again, with dual PRs on KD and DKJP. His DK times were ok, but he made big waves on KD. DB hit the double GOD, got the flap into the top 20, and dropped a 3rd place 3lap to troll his buddy Karlo. Dan passed 5 people, and also moved up to Legend D. That's far enough Dan... At some point I should stop phoning this news update in and drop some memes, and #nice [73] Kyle Begley seems like a prime candidate. Kyle really started to show us what he can do on sc, hitting 5 PRs and passing 6 people to claim his rightful spot on the ranks. He moved up to King D, and made a statement to his newfound sc rival... #78 [85] Andrew Hinrichs would have landed just behind the BagelBro, passing 12 people with 3 new times. He now has a complete sc timesheet, and is the newest shortcut King. Don't let Kyle get away that easy! #93 [98] Hayden Dunn solidified his place in the top 100, with 5 times passing 3 players. Bomby moved up to Elite A, and will have his sights set on the ranks of King very soon. #95 [95] Glen Stevens filled in a shortcut time with....a warp hit! Classic Stevens, this lone PR got him past 9 people, into the top 100, and up to King C! #98 [107] Robert McKinnon also had a breakout half in shortcut, dropping 10 PRs and passing 24 people to bust into the top 100! Robert moved up to Elite C, and also nailed the GOD on FS sc flap via the fast strat, antelopes up! #405 [383] Kazuya Taguchi continued his trend of single-track--grinding, this time on shortcut it was TT 3lap. Kaz debuted this time at King/top 100, which helped him pass 41 players. Watch out when this guy gets full timesheets... #619 [622] Chase Mahogany-Green cut 10 seconds off his RRd flap, and this got him past 3 people on the ranks. Thanks folks, you've all been great, couldn't ask for a better crowd tonight...now get back on the course and get your name in the news!



- June 2nd Half: No Country For Old Men - by Jake at 7:02 pm

Good day, and good news! Welcome back everyone, you know the drill. Things are as crazy as ever out there, and may the Kart Gods bless your soul if you're not on the grind. Announcements: 1. Congratulations to Matthias Rustemeyer for decisively reclaiming the #1 spot and title of MK64 world champion! MR is on the WR hunt, and everyone is waiting to see what happens next at the top. 2. Stay tuned for info regarding a 150cc "skips" (cringes) tournament that will be taking place in the near future. 3. Also stay tuned for info on the Karter Contest, such as whether or not it is even happening. New Players

Brian Burchett joins with a full set of Non-SC times, to rank #895 [1013].

He also sent in 2 SC times, to rank #533 [585].

Chase Mahogany-Green joins with 4 Non-SC times, to rank #1152 [1188].

World Records Non-Shortcut

Matthias Rustemeyer beat the old Sherbet Land 3lap record of 1'55"20 (1'35"81)

with a new time of 1'55"19 (1'35"80)

Matthias Rustemeyer beat the old Banshee Boardwalk 3lap record of 2'04"21 (1'43"30)

with a new time of 2'04"20 (1'43"29) Shortcut Daniel Burbank decided to play some casual shortcut, and messed around and beat the old Toad's Turnpike SC 3lap record of 1'49"07 (1'30"71)

with a new time of 1'49"05 (1'30"69)

Ntsc-Only Beck Abney beat the old Kalimari Desert 3lap record of 1'43"59

with a new time of 1'43"55

Beck Abney beat the old Toad's Turnpike 3lap record of 2'28"64

with a new time of 2'28"57

Beck Abney beat the old Rainbow Road SC Flap record of 1'04"81

with a new time of 1'04"72

Non-SC Movement #1 [1] Matthias Rustemeyer is back on top, as mentioned above. In addition to his two WRs, he also lowered his RRy 3lap. His time is now much closer to the WR, so keep this one on the radar. #8 [9] William Lacey emerged from the (heh) shadows, and shocked us all with THREE new times! He even got himself a new top 3 on SL...does this mean the old man is future now? #10 [10] Karlo Tomazelli was unfazed, however, and sent in a lone KD time. He didn't gain much, but continued his trend of meticulous AF cutting each update. #11 [11] Jayden Ly is still doing his best to deny climate change, despite what must be an increasingly mild winter down under. Jayden is safe for now, with 7 new PRs including a new top 10 on KTB 3lap and a new top 5 on KD 3lap! #12 [12] Luke Dischiave notices the models being put out by the weather team of Austin and JT, but he is thinking less "global warming" and more "heat death of the universe." Luke sent in 4 times, which rank 7,6,5,6...yeah, that looks like trouble... #15 [14] Michael Arends continued to support pride month by playing nothing but Rainbow, and he had a 3lap for us this time. He didn't gain AF, but did make a nice cut and almost got the sub 5:56...let's see it! #20 [21] Kyle Labelle, welcome to the top 20! I see you brought 14 new times from up north via dogsled. Shame about those 3 people who you had to leave behind, but now Die Drei Freunde are back together on the ranks. Nice work eh. #34 [35] Glen Stevens was back at it with the double TT PRs. Glen shimmied his way past one person, and is closing in on the TT 3lap GOD time. #47 [48] Lewis Richards celebrated Canada Day...Gunstyle. When he wasn't busy getting as wrecked as your car after hitting a moose, TYG was making big cuts on MR 3lap. His lone PR didn't get him past anyone, but he did get the sub 1:14 and 1:29! #51 [53] Xander Giordani had 9 new times this half, including FOUR new GODs. He made pretty even AF cuts, and passed 3 people. Look for him in the top 50 any minute now... #60 [60] Lenny Gutierrez continued his comeback tour, passing 3 people with 3 times. Lendawg got himself a new top 100 and a new top 50 to boot. #66 [64] Alex Duke appears to be recovered from his mysterious illness, and back to his old self. For the news-reading faithful, you know what that means: 19 times, 4 new GODs, and of course burned past 12 people on the ranks. Oh yeah, and if that weren't enough, he is also our newest Legend A karter! #68 [68] Ryan Bissen sent in two new times, and passed two people. Unfortunately for the buffalo soldier, he only climbed one rank due to Alex's PR spree. #72 [72] Lachlan Young had a huge week, and it seems clear which rivals he wants to keep pace with through the top 100. TheliteralYounggun hit 14 new times, passing 20 people. He checked off 3 new GODs and upgraded to Legend B as well. #89 [89] Robert van Zanten had 3 new times this half, including a very nice new GOD on SL 3lap. RVZ managed to pass 2 players, but gained only one rank due to Captain Kangaroo's crazy progress. If it's any consolation, he is now a member of the Legend B club. #90 [88] Noah Gordon continued his comeback, and worked on securing his place in the top 100. The man they call Cutz sent in 6 times, and cutzed 5 people in line. #116 [115] Cole Horan is one of a few players eyeing the top 100, and this time he sent in 8 PRs. Cole only passed one person, and it was lucky he did, because... #117 [116] Andrew Hinrichs is loving that PAL life, sending in 11 new times. Andy passed 8 people, and added a bunch of new Legends and a new GOD to his resume. Keep the streams coming! #133 [133] Keith Turnbull had a huge week, submitting 20 new times. KT crept past 24 people, and into the top 150. He also became our newest Legend player! #160 [160] Severin Sauer is well on his way to crashing the top 150 party, with a hefty 16-PR submission of his own. CV passed 25 players with his collection of new Kings, Legends, and...wait for it...first GOD time on RRy flap! He also went from King C to King B, and alerted me to yet another flaw in the news machine. It tried to give him credit for King A with an ARR of 6.5000, but in reality you have to break the barrier before you get the next rank. Nice try buddy... #186 [187] Stephane Jacquet is back to his old self, which is a good thing for my fantasy kart team. In similar fashion to the above entries, he dropped 17 times and passed 27 players. Welcome to the top 200, and to the ranks of King C! #207 [211] Leo Gabioud was inspired by his countryman's journey to make French MK64 a thing, and passed 17 players with his 10 new times. Leo is hitting Legends left and right, and knocking on the top 200 door. #270 [271] Moacir de Oliveira proved the doubters wrong, and is apparently not the next in a long, long line of meme-able names on the MK64 ladder. No, this guy can play. He sent in 14 PRs, and passed 9 players. I think its time for him to get an official acronym/nickname...MDO? modo? the Moa constrictor? We'll work on it... #276 [278] Darek Kanig jumped right into the melee that is the top 300, passing 28 people on his way in. His 12 PRs moved him from Elite B to Elite A, onward to King! #294 [298] Ross Coleman what the shit is this. The news machine is telling me some guy sent in 30 PRs, and passed 325 people. Ok, seen it happen. And now it's telling me this guy did this while starting from 619th, NOT from the bottom rungs of the ladder. From 619th-top 300, and barely Semi-Pro to Elite B? I hope the new site budgets for additional staff, so we can finally afford to hire professionals to do maintenance on our bots and machines. #344 [349] Josh Handeland had a breakout month, this half with 13 PRs, including a gang of new Elites and Kings. Josh passed 40 people, and is now Elite C overall. Good thing he did though, because he avoided finding himself in the midst of a battle... #380 [383] Andre Hoelscher had just dual SL times, but passed 9 players and would have bopped Josh. Andre also improved his rank to Elite D, and he wasn't the only one... #385 [385] Denzel Guzman would himself have bopped Andre had he remained idle. Denzel hit 8 new times, and flew by 18 players to smash into the top 400! #416 [420] Corina Miner led the way for what appears to be a "rivalry train" through the top 500. Corina sent in 10 times, and passed a solid 21 players. Corina also has the distinction of being our newest Elite player! Congrats! #422 [425] Valentin Marie also became Elite this update, but was leapfrogged by Corina's big move. Valentin did pass 6 people however, with dual PRs on the Mario Bros raceways. #438 [442] Andrea Coronado was next in line, with a big haul of 16 PRs. Andrea passed 25 players, and moved from Pro B all the way to Master C. #447 [450] Hayden Dunn sent in 9 new times, passing 7 players. Bomby was diffused by Andrea, but we know he won't go down without a fight. Oh yeah, he also became our newest Master-ranked player! #453 [458] Dylan Benoit was the "big mover of the news" for this update. He pulled the fabled 32/32 PRs, en route to an absurd 88-place jump on the rankings. He completely skipped the Pro ranks, going from Semi-Pro A to Master D, and now finds himself right in the battle for top 400 (and beyond). #487 [491] Clara Bon rounded it out with 7 new times, and managed to pass 9 players (despite getting whiplash from Dylan flying by). Clara also improved her rank to Pro C. Keep it up! #532 [533] Bambi Pejic had a big week, dropping 10 PRs to pass 58 players! Bambi went from Semi-Pro F all the way to Semi-Pro A, and is now hitting Elite times on the reg. #562 [571] Cole Edwards did some nice work on RRy and YV dual, to the tune of 15 players passed. Cole also upgraded to the ranks of the Semi-Pro C karters. #726 [774] Charlotte Crego passed a whopping 31 players this time around, via 10 new PRs. Charlotte is also now a member of the Advanced A club. Unfortunately she didn'y play YV this time, and thus I was unable to make "Crego my eggo" a meme. #772 [817] Robin Holen polished his MR times, and passed 7 people in the process. He also became Advanced D, nice work! #1112 [989] Kazuya Taguchi was back on the course in non-sc, adding CM 3lap to his timesheet. His choco time debuts already at Master A. #1126 [1023] Owen Halligan continued his...interesting strategy...of submitting only GOD times. This time he got himself YV flap, and passed 13 players with it. Stay tuned to see if he fills out his timesheet and flies up the ranks, or elects to do it the hard way.

SC Movement #6 [6] Sean Murphy had great success in sc this half, hitting 8 PRs, and passing two people. His times included a number of new top 10s, and even a podium(3rd) spot on WS 3lap! #7 [7] Jayden Ly wasn't far behind, hitting 3 new times of his own; a top 10 and two in the top 5! Jayden passed one person on the ranks but maintained his spot at 7 due to Smurfy jumping him. #17 [17] Xander Giordani had 4 times in sc this update, and passed one person. He is the latest person to find himself at the entrance to the SC graveyards... #25 [26] Noah Gordon cut .04 from his TT 3lap PR, and somehow managed to pass 1 person with this. Nicely done. #40 [40] Daniel Burbank finally got around to filling in/polishing his sc timesheet, and jumped 22 spots into the top 40. Dan hit 3rd/4th place on RRd dual respectively, as well as that TT 3lap WR. Oh, and he also now has dual-Legend citizenship on the ARR ranks. #96 [98] Hayden Dunn hit 4 new sc PRs, which got him past 7 people and into the top 100! Bombs away! #104 [104] Glen Stevens passed 7 players with just 2 times. How you ask? Well, a(top 10) lap 2 Weathertenko tends to have that effect... #130 [121] Alex Duke made it a double for the Aussies, hitting a WT of his own. He actually passed even more players(8) with fewer times(just this one). Talk about value! #142 [127] Darek Kanig was putting in that work in shortcut as well, passing a ridiculous 36 players with just 3 times. He nailed the spiral for a GOD time on his way to Elite C in sc! #249 [251] Charlotte Crego continued to hone her sc skills, this time resulting in 6 freshn PRs and 20 scrubs scrubbed away. #313 [273] Josh Handeland played some RRd dual, and his double-Elite PRs moved him past 7 players. Spiral when? #446 [421] Kazuya Taguchi tried his hand at RRd 3lap, with good results. Kaz hit a nice new Elite time, which moved him up 60 spots on the ranks. #451 [499] Ross Coleman here is this name again. This time it's just an FS 3lap PR which passed 21 people. Shadow you really need to fix these bugs....

Anyway, there you have it. Good night, good news, and good riddance until next time you damn kids! Hahaaaa, just kidding. PS: someone wake Hattok up before he puts Kartbot in an awkward position regarding discord rules.



- A small announcement about the recent events - by William at 7:19 pm

First off, I'd like to congratulate Owen Halligan for finally getting that God time on DKJP. We were all rooting for you.

Lewis became the 29th Non-Sc God on the site. I believe when we hit 30, we get our 31st one free, so that's something to look forward to. At the moment it looks like it's a race between Lars and Sami. If there's one thing I've learned over the last week or so, it's that the community can't agree on anything. I've read every post on the forum, a ton of DMs from various karters, along with messages and opinions from 5 or 6 different discords that have something to say about the change of Non-SC #1 that happened 7 days ago. I've also been pushed, prodded, cajoled and manipulated to do everything from absolutely nothing, to a total freeze of Dan and his times for at least 15 months. There have also been discussions about banning pausing, evolving standards for video proof and proof calling, along with one regarding hoarding in general.

These discussions will go on, and better solutions will present themselves. For now, since the battle for #1 currently rages on, certain restrictions must be put in place immediately. Luckily in this case, the players directly involved both floated towards the same solution. It is clear that the existing battle between Matthias and Dan can't continue unless there are assurances that there is no hoarding of times going on. So, for the foreseeable future, and certainly for the length of this #1 feud, Dan must prove that all times he achieves are live. This will involve streaming any PR session, and making an effort to engage with the audience to prove it's not pre-recorded (ie..having someone in the chat suggest certain actions).

Matthias will not be required to do the same, although he can if he wishes to. Also, all players at the highest level are highly encouraged to stream their sessions. This should not be considered the final word on the situation.

There is an ongoing topic about hoarding that will give us a better view on what the community feels is appropriate going forward. This is something that all the kart sites should consider. What are the ramifications of doing nothing? Should certain etiquette guidelines include a section on hoarding? Should absolutely everyone have to prove that they're not? Should the top X players be held to a higher standard? What methods can be used to enforce it, and what are the consequences of failing to abide by those rules? And are any of those changes proportionate to the problem, if we agree that there is one? The only thing that's clear right now, is that anyone considering hoarding in future can expect to receive pushback from a significant section of the community.

Special amnesty will be given in future to any DKJP 3lap times set on July 9th 2011



- June 1st Half: Community (PR) Destruction - by Jake at 6:02 pm

So, I'm going to keep the intro and first few entries of this news as basic as possible. If you aren't up to date on recent events, look into it and you will see why it's best to just put down the info and move on to the update(which was another huge one with lots of activity and progress). 1. In a highly controversial unhoard of over 20(and 17 final) world records, Dan Burbank passed Matthias Rustemeyer to become champion and world #1. This resulted in a great amount of backlash, debate, as well as praise, both within the MK64 community and from far outside of it. 2. Congratulations to Lewis "theyounggun" Richards, for becoming the 29th non-shortcut GOD player in MK64! TYG makes this the third news update with a new Canadian GOD in a row! He also put a stranglehold on the coveted title of "worst GOD ever" as he is actually in danger of being knocked out of the top 50 if he doesn't step it up!

New Players

Charlotte Crego joins with a full set of Non-SC times, to rank #757 [813].

She also sent in 9 SC times, to rank #269 [276]. World Records * Non-Shortcut

Daniel Burbank beat the old Luigi Raceway 3lap record of 1'57"91 (1'38"06)

with a new time of 1'57"88 (1'38"04)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Koopa Troopa Beach 3lap record of 1'35"41 (1'19"35)

with a new time of 1'35"37 (1'19"32)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Koopa Troopa Beach Flap record of 0'30"82 (0'25"63)

with a new time of 0'30"81 (0'25"62)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Kalimari Desert Flap record of 0'39"01 (0'32"44)

with a new time of 0'38"99 (0'32"43)

Matthias Rustemeyer beat the old Toad's Turnpike 3lap record of 2'58"18 (2'28"19)

with a new time of 2'58"12 (2'28"14)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Choco Mountain 3lap record of 1'56"00 (1'36"47)

with a new time of 1'55"97 (1'36"45)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Choco Mountain Flap record of 0'38"08 (0'31"67)

with a new time of 0'38"07 (0'31"66)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Mario Raceway 3lap record of 1'27"64 (1'12"89)

with a new time of 1'27"63 (1'12"88)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Sherbet Land 3lap record of 1'55"23 (1'35"83)

with a new time of 1'55"20 (1'35"81)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Royal Raceway 3lap record of 2'51"64 (2'22"75)

with a new time of 2'51"37 (2'22"52)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Royal Raceway Flap record of 0'55"55 (0'46"20)

with a new time of 0'55"50 (0'46"16)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Bowser Castle 3lap record of 2'12"26 (1'50"00)

with a new time of 2'12"16 (1'49"91)

Daniel Burbank tied the old Bowser Castle Flap record of 0'43"17 (0'35"90)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Yoshi Valley 3lap record of 1'42"24 (1'25"03)

with a new time of 1'42"22 (1'25"01)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Banshee Boardwalk 3lap record of 2'04"24 (1'43"33)

with a new time of 2'04"21 (1'43"30)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Banshee Boardwalk Flap record of 0'40"81 (0'33"94)

with a new time of 0'40"79 (0'33"92)

Daniel Burbank beat the old Rainbow Road Flap record of 1'56"52 (1'36"91)

with a new time of 1'56"48 (1'36"87) *Many of these occurred outside this news update Shortcut Ntsc-Only Beck Abney beat the old Luigi Raceway 3lap record of 1'38"27

with a new time of 1'38"26

Non-SC Movement #1 [1] Daniel Burbank submitted, at least on paper, 17 PRs. All of these were WRs until Matthias quickly retook TT 3lap. As explained above, this allowed Dan to become the new champion of MK64. #2 [2] Matthias Rustemeyer found himself unexpectedly bumped down to 2nd, but has already responded with a new TT 3lap WR. #8 [9] William Lacey apparently drove dual TT PRs, which gained him nothing. Sorry old chap, you'll need more than that to get a witty news entry. #9 [8] Marcos Vinicius Alves also had two new times, double WS and double new top 10s! he gained some decent AF and is now extremely close to Lacey. #10 [10] Karlo Tomazelli continued to stay in the hunt himself, with 3 new times including some very metal top 10s of his own. #11 [11] Jayden Ly ALSO hit two new top 10 times, and 10 PRs in total. He passed two people, and is now knocking on the door of the top 10. Jayden has a problem though, as those in the club(bottle fulla bub) are doing their best to keep him hating from the outside. And to make matters worse.......... Team USA and #13 [13] Luke Dischiave have emphatically entered the top 15(ish) former colony royal rumble. Climatee got himself a PAL console, and provided the following empirical evidence for all the climatee change deniers out there: 32/32 PRs, passed 7 players and made a joke of a notoriously difficult AF graveyard, and is now looking down into the top 10 himself. #15 [14] Michael Arends was feeling the heat, figuratively and literally. He made a decent cut on RRd flap, but ended up with the infamous -1 AF place gain. Keep on grinding though! #18 [18] Sean Murphy also has a strange urge to contact Al Gore, but he managed to do some work on CM dual anyway. Smurfy's 3lap is a new top 20 on one of his more hated courses, so let's hope he can get back into the mix soon. Canadian teammate #23 [22] Kyle Labelle is quickly approaching, however, with yet another big half. With 9 new times, he passed 5 people...and he hasn't even played PAL...yet #35 [35] Glen Stevens might look relatively far away from these guys on paper, but he is a big mover himself. Just...not this update. He only had a small PR on TT flap, supposedly due to controller issues. But once he gets back, be sure that Glen isn't about to let these moose-riding bandits ambush his boy Jayden up there. #40 [40] Lars Nouwen sent in 3 new times, but didn't pass anyone. What he did do though, was cross off dual BC GOD times, leaving only MR flap remaining! How many GODs can we get this year?? #47 [48] Lewis Richards is hoping the answer is a few more, ideally someone to take his title as "most definitely worst GOD ever and how can someone be GOD and 47th place, what a time to be alive." TYG sniped his last 3 GODs this half to ascend into Karthalla. He also passed one person in the process and makes this the third consecutive news with a Canadian GOD. #54 [54] Xander Giordani went honeybaked HAM and swiss on a kaiser roll this half, dropping 17 times, and passing 7 people to be on the doorstep of top 50. Xander racked up 8 new GODs, and also ascended to the coveted rank of Legend+. #63 [62] Lenny Gutierrez saw the crazy community activity, and had to get back in on it after many years away. He sent dual MR times, including a very nice sub 1:14 3lap! Welcome back! Someone might want to make sure #78 [78] Alex Duke isn't experiencing chest pain, fever, or the desire to put limes in his beer. The Duke had only one PR to send us this time around, but he did get a new top 100/Legend C on CM 3lap. #90 [91] Robert van Zanten sent in double RRd times, both new top 100s and both going from Legend F-B. RVZ used these to pass 4 people on the ranks and move closer to the pack ahead. #92 [90] Lachlan Young apparently wasn't just stopping by to say g'day m8 with his last few submissions. The Lockodile Hunter dropped 10 new times, including 3 new GODs. All of these times were new top 100s, and some were new top 50s! Welcome to the top 100, and of course to the party... #105 [109] Robin Johansson is ready to be the next man into the top 100 club, to the surprise of no one. Robin sent in 12 new times, passing 5 people and becoming Legend C. This guy seems to have a very systematic approach to lowering all of his times evenly(except WS that is). #125 [126] Andrew Hinrichs is the latest man to put the PA in PAL, and Reading is about to be all up in ya business. Andy hit 12 PRs, passed 6 people, and is now Legend D. It seems like only yesterday you were still a lowly King...time flies... #157 [157] Keith Turnbull is actually eyeing the Legend ranks himself, getting 8 new times this half(of which two are new Legends). Keith passed 5 people, and is now ranked King A. #185 [186] Severin Sauer continued his tear through the ranks, this time to the tune of 6 PRs, and 14 scrubs scrubbed. He also hit a new Legend on DKJP 3lap...someone to watch for sure. #213 [213] Stephane "Take off Your Pants and Jacquet" kept pace on his way to the top 200 with 7 new times. He passed 9 players, and his a new DK Legend of his own, but on the flap. #220 [226] Alexander Schiller had just two times to send in, but he got some good value. One of this site's many Alexes passed 4 people with his CM and YV flap times. #245 [246] Carson Keenan reminded us of his existence with a KD flap PR. He actually cut almost an entire AF rank with this time, but didn't pass anyone. #279 [278] Moacir de Oliveira had to shorten his name for the sake of not breaking the antiquated technology that runs this site. He made up for it by submitting a very lengthy PR list, totaling 17 new times. He passed 22 players, and is already hitting a slew of King times. He also broke into the top 300 and became Elite A...all he needs now is an acronym to go by... #304 [302] Darek Kanig had a very similar experience this half, sending 15 times and passing 30 people. Darek went from Elite C-B, and is now racking up some King times. Top 300 soon for sure! #353 [355] Robert McKinnon followed closely behind, passing 15 players with his 6 new PRs. He improved from Elite D-C, and by the look of it we have some healthy competition in the Elite community. #380 [385] Seth Colpitts broke into the top 400 in style, dropping 10 new times. Mr. Pitt passed 26 players, and shows no signs of stopping there. #428 [434] Valentin Marie was back in action with 6 fresh PRs. Val passed 11 players, and improved rank to Master A. #437 [442] Corina Miner was in hot pursuit of Valentin, improving half her timesheet(16 PRs) and passing an impressive 32 players. Corina also improved her rank from Pro B(Drake holding palm out) to Master C(Drake pointing approvingly). #454 [457] Hayden Dunn had 5 new times to send for this update. Bomby passed two people, however he got leapfrogged by Corina. Get back to it! #496 [501] Clara Bon, hello and welcome to the top 500! Clara broke the barrier with 8 new times, passing one player for each time she got. Nice work! #541 [545] Dylan Benoit was the first huge mover this half, submitting 28/32 PRs! As you might expect, this got him some good results: he flew by 91 players into the top 600, and went from Expert B to Semi-Pro A! #563 [578] Russell Horwood almost mirrored Dylan, passing a lot(68) of players to break into the top 600. He did dit with just 7 new times, and he also left Expert B in the dust and is now Semi-pro D. Keep up the good work! #577 [584] Cole Edwards got passed by the previous two entrants, but kept pace by passing 18 other players. Cole did this with just 3 times, nice ROI there mate. #590 [615] Bambi Pejic, not to be confused with his long lost twin Bomby, had a crazy good half. He sent 16 new times, and his big improvements got him past a whopping 171 players! He also joins the ranks of the Semi-Pros, nice going! #619 [612] Ross Coleman said not so fast! Ross is also a newly minted Semi-Pro F player. How did he do it you ask? Why he simply drove 22 new times, and passed a casual 180 people. Just anther day at the track amirite? #760 [801] Thomas Forestier dropped by with 11 new times. He passed 8 players, and did his best to stay ahead of... #770 [823] Patrick Neff, who had just 2 PRs this time around, but did manage to pass a player for each of them. #779 [834] Robin Holen got himself in on this action, dropping 16 new times and passing 72 people! Robin also propelled himself up to Advanced F. #1139 [1070] Dowenky Hallikong did what he does best, play DKJP with excellent results. He passed 3 people via the double GOD, including taking the flap there from Elite B. That alone was a 214 AF place cut!

SC Movement #18 [18] Xander Giordani led the way for SC this half, hitting 2 new times on TT and MR 3laps. These didn't get him past anyone, but were some nice cuts. #31 [31] Luke Dischiave managed to dabble in shortcut as well, checking off the GOD time on MR flap. #75 [81] Kyle Begley was "back" to shortcuts, as most of us know by now. Kyle hit a few spirals, for the double RRd PRs. He also hit a very nice Mylestyle, and with these passed 6 people, and became the newest King SC player. #103 [109] Hayden Dunn showed up with 3 new times, two of which are new top 100s. He bombed his way past two people, and is looking at SC top 100 very soon! #122 [143] Robert McKinnon is showing some real promise in SC, passing 13 people with just 3 new times. He upgraded to Elite D, and is another player looking at top 100 in the near future. #178 [173] Darek Kanig sent in a lone TT 3lap time, and passed one person with it. Hooray Darek #179 [209] Seth Colpitts followed suit with his own single-PR, single-rank-cut submission (but on WS flap). #180 [165] Keith Turnbull Almost sniped him though, as KT sent in 4 new times this half. He creepered his way past one person on the ranks. #263 [268] Moacir de Oliveira saw that we shortcut his name, and figured he might as well shortcut the game. To the tune of passing 80 people with 4 newly filled in times! #506 [496] Kazuya Taguchi cut just a frame off his MR flap, but actually passed someone with it. Kaz is also inches away from sub 16, which is a very nice barrier to break.



- May 2nd Half: On God For Thee - by Jake at 6:59 pm

Hello again boys and girls, and welcome to some sizzling summer kickoff news! In this record-setting update(for my time as news man) we have all the usual highlights: rivalries, big movers, and milestones. Buckle up as we dive in... Announcements: Congratulations to the champ, Matthias Rustemeyer, for winning the 150cc GP tournament! World #2 Dan Burbank took him to the second match, and both races were decided by a few seconds! Congratulations to Sean Murphy for becoming the 9th shortcut GOD player, and thus the 7th universal GOD player! Smurfy's addition to these clubs solidifies 2020 and probably the greatest year ever for GOD progress, and I'll say again-we aren't even halfway done! He is also makes it back to back news updates with a Canadian GOD...truly a great day for Canada, and therefore the world.

New Players

Dylan Benoit joins with a full set of Non-SC times, to rank #626 [657].

Dan Lewis joins with a full set of Non-SC times, to rank #830 [896].

Cole Edwards joins with a full set of Non-SC times, to rank #595 [598].

World Records

Non-Shortcut

still nothing

Shortcut

and here as well

Ntsc-Only Daniel Burbank beat the old Banshee Boardwalk Flap record of 0'34"07

with a new time of 0'33"97

Beck Abney beat the old Rainbow Road 3lap record of 4'54"41

with a new time of 4'54"31

Non-SC Movement #9 [8] Marcos Vinicius Alves starts things off this time around, with 3 very nice PRs. MVA hit dual 4th place times on FS, and is creeping up on Lacey for 8th. He can't slow down though, because once again... #10 [10] Karlo Tomazelli was on the track himself. Karlo also played FS, and his dual PRs even matched as well-both 8th place! He has some work to do if he wants to catch Marcos, but he's the right man for the job. #12 [14] Thomas Jordet Larsen had a nice relaxing half, retired on his farm tending his cows and playing whack-a-mole in his home arcade, we hope TJL will--wait, what? THIS JUST IN, I'm told we have a breaking news story where TJL made an emphatic return to kart, dropping double top 15 DKJP times, and passing both Jayden and Arends back to reclaim 12th place! (those two had managed to barely pass him shortly after the last news) #13 [12] Jayden Ly isn't too worried about the above news, despite TJL's sizable gains in total times. Jayden kept right on truckin' with 6 times of his own, including two new top 10s. At the rate you people are going, Jayden will probably be back ahead by the time I submit this news... #14 [13] Michael Arends continued to fight the good fight, staying in the mix with his RRd flap time. He is knocking on the top 10 for this course, and he's known for polishing his times as far as they can go. Let's see it! #17 [17] Sean Murphy put in some nice work this half, sending in 3 new times as he continues to push through the graveyard. He cut some decent AF, but he might be getting some additional motivation in the near future... #20 [20] Luke Dischiave passed two people to break into the top 20! How did he do it you ask? Oh well just 3 top 20 times and a friggin 8th place KD flap! All certified manly man PRs done on NTSC as well. #28 [27] Kyle Labelle was next up for the Mounties, and he was on his high horse this time. Kyman dropped 15 times, and cut over 200 places worth of AF. His RRd flap is also down to 11th place! Kyman "only" passed 4 players, but the competition is getting tight at the top these days. If he can keep up this output, he'll be joining the next group before long. #35 [35] Glen Stevens continued to show his top-level potential, as he shows no signs of slowing down with 8 new times. He passed two players, but much like Kyman, if he keeps churning out PRs at this rate graveyards are just figments of his imagination. Glen also just barely missed his first top 10 time on YV flap. You go Glen Stevco. #61 [61] Xander Giordani was the first bigtime mover this half. Xander sent in 19 new times, including a whopping 5 new GOD times. He flew past 13 people, and left Bisso in his dust to take over control of the ever-expanding top 100 train. The X-man also became our newest Legend A! His biggest challenge lies ahead though: to stop typing out emotes in discord...can it be done? Stay pogged to pog out pog pog on the pog. #nice [70] Ryan Bissen was not about to relinquish hold of 69th place, and managed to cancel out Xander's bop by passing distinguished news team alum Darius Austin. Bisso had just 2 new times, but they were big time cuts and a good indication of his potential. #78 [78] Alex Duke is making more noise on his way through the top 100, this time passing 13 players with a hefty 17-PR submission. The Duke grabbed new GODs on LR and SL flaps, and became the newest member of the Legend B club. He now sits just behind Jones and Armin, and if his all-time-level of progress is any indication...well just wait and see next time we find ourselves here... #94 [94] Robert van Zanten had 5 new times for us, including the double GODs on MMF! RVZ conquered those blind, furry bastards and passed two people on the ranks. He is safely in the top 100 at the moment, but there are rumblings in the distance... #108 [108] Lachlan Young is answering his call-up for the heavily stacked Team Australia, this time with 10 PRs. The Lockness Monster hit three new GODs, and passed 17 players. He moved into the Legend C ranks, and you can go ahead and make his reservation for the top 100. #112 [114] Robin Johansson managed to find a few minutes out of his day to stop playing WS and hit a few other PRs as well. He sent in 12 new times, and passed 4 people despite the LockBop. Oh yeah, he also hit his first GOD time on WS 3lap! Gonna need a fact check, but that course is generally considered one of the harder GOD times, and I can't imagine it has been anyone's first. #131 [130] Andrew Hinrichs had a big half, with 15 PRs. He only passed 3 people, but he did get a host of new Legends, and....wait for it...his first GOD time on RRy flap! Let's see some more! This week on "Blast From The Past" #139 [141] Iacopo Sorce stopped by for a visit with 2 new PRs. The Sorce Code passed two players, and checked off the Legend time on BC flap. Well done! #151 [153] Doss Willowhite was back with 4 new times, passing 3 people. I don't know what this means, but the Australians are coming out of the brush left and right these days. Team Canada better step up its recruiting... #199 [196] Severin Sauer is here to stay, apparently. This guy busted out 25 PRs, and flew by 41 people to join the top 200! He went from King F-C and nailed his first Legend on RRy flap. Be worried if you see him in your rearview on the Autobahn! #222 [224] Stephane "Short Skirt/Long" Jacquet was out on the track as usual, and brought back 13 new times. Stephane passed 10 players, BUT was also bopped by the Sevmeister. He moved from King F to King D, but will he let his German rival pull away? #224 [226] Alexander Schiller is also pondering that question, as yet another member of Team Germany put in some work around the top 200. Alexander sent in 4 times, and passed two people, however he maintained his rank due to Severin and Stephane. Step it up! #240 [237] Christian Chiera is our newest King player, and he got there in style. Christian dropped 15 new times, and passed 16 players. He showed his potential via KTB once again, this time with a new top 50 time! #267 [271] Leo Perna is the latest player to show us that GE/PD skills translate well to MK64, as he had himself quite the half. He sent in 26 new times, passing 51 players! He broke into the top 200, and moved up to Elite A. Look for him to become the top-ranked Leo very soon, among other more notable achievements. #291 [290] Luke Levy flexed on everyone, being the first to send in 32/32 PRs this update. Luke made a joke of the top 400, passing 105(!) players right into the top 300. He also went from Elite F all the way to Elite B. Surely he'll slow down next time....right...? #301 [301] Moac