Not holding back. Nicki Minaj went raw and vulnerable for her new song “All Things Go,” touching on personal moments from a death in her family to an abortion procedure she underwent as a teenager.

The “Va Va Voom” performer, 31, debuted the emotional new track on Wednesday, Dec. 3. “All Things Go” is the latest cut off of Minaj’s upcoming studio album The Pinkprint, and stands in stark contrast to earlier, more upbeat dance hits like “Anaconda.”

The new, slow-tempo song has two intense points amongst details of family, priorities, and a marriage proposal. In the last stretch of the nearly five-minute number, Minaj opens up about an abortion that she got when she was just a teenager.

Referencing her 16-year-old brother Micaiah (Caiah) Maraj and her mother Carol Maraj, the Grammy-nominated rapper touches on her ties to her family before speaking about the abortion.

“I love my mother more than life itself, and that’s a fact,” she spits. “I’d give it all, if somehow I could just rekindle that / She never understands, why I’m so overprotective / The more I work, the more I feel like, somehow they’re neglected / I want ‘Caiah to go to college, just to say ‘We did it!'”

“My child with Aaron, would’ve have been sixteen, any minute,” she continues. “So in some ways I feel like ‘Caiah, is the both of them / It’s like he’s ‘Caiah’s little angel, looking over him / And I know Jelani will always love me, and I’ll always love him / And I’m just his little sister not Nicki Minaj when I’m around him.”

Though she gives no further details as to who the father Aaron is, Minaj would have been about 15 at the time of the apparent abortion. Born in Trinidad and Tobago, the performer moved to Queens, New York City as a child and attended LaGuardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts in Manhattan as a teenager.

Minaj makes mention of further personal struggles in “All Things Go,” rapping about her cousin Nicholas Telemaque who was shot and killed in July 2011.

“I lost my little cousin to a senseless act of violence,” she rhymes. “His sister said, he wanted to stay with me, but I didn’t invite him / Why didn’t he ask, or am I just buggin’? / Cause since I got fame, they don’t act the same / Even though they know, that I love him / Family ties, broken before me, n—-s tryna kill him, he ain’t even call me / And that’s the reflection of me, yes I get it, I get it, it was all me / I pop a pill and remember the look in his eyes, the last day he saw me.”

Hear Minaj open up in “All Things Go” above.