This Lance Armstrong TV graphic is our new American hero

Just when you thought the Lance Armstrong scandal couldn't get any more sordid, Canada's CBC News came out with a bombshell report detailing what the disgraced cyclist will admit in his heavily-anticipated interview with Oprah Winfrey.

The downfall of Armstrong continues to get more and more depressing. That's only going to get worse following the airing of his admission to Oprah. Getting some much-needed levity via a chyron typo was a breath of fresh air:

1. Of course he lied about it.

2. Rugs are a known gateway. If Lance isn't careful, he'll be using hardwood floors before you know it.

3. [Following joke made by half of Twitter] If Lance is guilty of anything, it's trying to tie the room together.

4. What sort of rugs was he using? Shag? Woven? Braided? Orientel? (Dude, that's not the preferred nomenclature.)

5. Sort of explains the media's wall-to-wall coverage.

6. He should've known better than to accept medical advice from this site: http://www.rugdoctor.com.

7. No wonder it was such a big cover-up.