Shropshire sweet shop begins negotiations for lucrative trade deal with China

A sweet shop has opened negotiations with the Chinese government to put in place a lucrative post-Brexit trade agreement.

71-year-old Simon Williams, who runs Mr Williams’ Sweets and Treats on the High Street of Lower Upperton in Shropshire, was able to begin negotiations after his grandson showed him how to get Skype working on his laptop.

“It’s a bit confusing,” admitted Mr Williams.

“I’m not convinced Google translate is 100% accurate as the Chinese trade negotiator yesterday wished me a happy fish captain.”

The negotiations became necessary after Mr Williams realised that the little paper bags he used for penny-sweets came from China via Dusseldorf.

“Well, as Mr Johnson keeps saying, after Brexit, we can strike out on the world stage and be a truly global player without the trade restrictions imposed on us by the EU.

“So, that’s what I’m doing and it really is quite tremendously exciting.”

Mr Williams previous deal for the little paper bags meant that they cost €1.11 for 500 bags and would be delivered the next day.

“Currently, the minister who is negotiating on behalf of the paper bag factory is saying that 500 bags will cost 9 yuan, which seems quite expensive, but there will be a delivery charge of 32 yuan on each order with a ten-day delivery time.”

Mr Williams was confident that negotiations would bring costs down.

“Oh yes, I’m sure if I offer the Chinese government a preferential rate on blackjacks and cola cubes, that price will come tumbling down.

“I’m playing the long game, these trade deals can take ten years or so to put in place.

“I’ve taken back control.”

Mr Williams is confident that, until he secures his supply of little paper bags, customers will be happy to carry their selection of sweets in their hands or pockets.