Whenever a star employee resigns, you know that you shouldn’t take it personally. People leave jobs, people move on, no big deal. But despite yourself, you often feel like these employees aren’t just leaving the job, they’re leaving you.

No surprise, then, that many managers react terribly when their employees find other opportunities. They interrogate them about where they’re going, they guilt them for leaving at the worst time (it’s always the worst time), and they give them the cold shoulder.

If an employee has already taken another job, then there’s virtually zero chance of them deciding to stay. If they wanted to be talked into staying, they would have approached you before accepting the new job offer. So the only thing you can directly influence is how these employees are going to feel about how their departure was handled.

Are these employees more likely to say:

“Yeah, it was a great place to work, but my boss there was a real jerk when I told them I was leaving. Shows you how much they really cared.”

or

“You know, it was really difficult to decide to leave. Even after I gave my notice, they treated me well and made me feel like part of the team. I’m going to miss working there.”

If you want any hope of these employees coming back to work for you or spreading a positive message about the company, your job is to make sure these departures reflect the values you’re trying to live in normal day-to-day work.

Understand why they’re leaving

Do you understand why this employee has decided to leave? Is it really a better opportunity for them? Be genuinely curious about how the employee made the decision and why they feel like they’re better off. You might learn of some personal blind spots and it’ll show you’re sincere interest in them outweighs your anxiety at losing them.

Congratulate them on their new opportunity

Seriously. Congratulate the employee on their new job, especially if they seem excited about it, and thank them for having the courage to tell you. If you and this employee have a good relationship, and the decision to leave was a difficult one, they are really going to want to hear that you think they’re making a good move. Try to put yourself in their shoes. Would you have made the same transition they’re making? If so, tell them that. Showing them that you’re genuinely glad for them, even when it’s at your own expense, is an enormous credibility builder.

Ask them, sincerely, if they’d ever consider returning

This is another question intended to check your blind spots about your leadership and the overall company. Wait a couple of days before asking whether or not they’d consider returning for the right role/opportunity? If not, why? The employee is likely to give you an honest answer after you’ve genuinely listened and congratulated them. You want to ensure that they feel comfortable telling you if the answer is no.

Let them know that you’d welcome them back anytime

This is the simplest and easiest to overlook step. “You’ll be missed, I’m sorry you’re leaving, and I want you to know that we’ll always have a spot here for you.” Even if the actual re-recruitment process is much more complicated, this sentiment will stick with people and it’s important that you show the sincerity to say those words directly. Leaving the person an opening to come back in will make it easier for the 10% of employees that are making a mistake. Most employees will be too embarrassed to admit they’d want to come back, so they’ll depend on you to leave the door open for them.

Check in on them in six months

Reach back out to these employees. Buy them breakfast, ask them how things are going. You’ll have a unique opportunity to get an outsider’s perspective on your company. What does this ex-employee miss? What don’t they miss? End this conversation by letting them know that they’d be welcomed back anytime.

By allowing your employees to leave with dignity, you have put one more person out into world who is going to say good things about your leadership and encourage other people to reach out to you for job opportunities.

While each of the above steps are important, obviously no two situations are exactly the same. What’s most important is to be sure that you’re working to build the sort of culture that people want to tell their friends about. You need to remember that if it’s a truly great culture, then it should persist well after people have decided that their life is taking them in new directions.

Good luck out there,

Patrick

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