POPULISTS are THE WILDLINGS: Looked down upon for many years, the surge of populists have recently become a force to be reckoned with. They care little for royalty, bow to no establishment, and have settled in just below the northern border (Wisconsin especially).

TED CRUZ is STANNIS BARATHEON: A man of principle, he makes it way further into the war of the five kings than any expected, given just how unlikable and arrogant he can be. He originally tried to rally the populists to his side but eventually met his doom on the battlefield, and not even the powers of Melisandre could save him. Speaking of Melisandre…

KELLYANNE CONWAY is MELISANDRE: A mysterious woman of strange powers and guile, she originally supported Ted Cruz at the beginning of the election, but when he failed, Kellyanne —being the survivor that she is— quickly found her new Prince who was Promised, Jon Snow.

PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP is JON SNOW: Obsessed with his wall and protecting the border, Trump would stop at nothing to accomplish the impossible. After he was ambushed by a secret tape of locker room talk, he was left a wreck, with all around him acknowledging he was good as done and dead for. But it was not to be, seemingly rising from the dead, and with the help of his loyal wildling populists, Trump —the King of the North—rallied, ready for war.

SEAN SPICER is SAMWELL TARLY: The poor guy means well, really he does. And he’s SO very loyal. But what can you say. The poor bastard is a living SNL skit.

STEVE BANNON is GHOST: Feral, savage, and white as hell, Ghost is Jon Snow’s enforcer. And so for Trump is Steve Bannon, an ally who knows only how to attack and kill, full of rage and focused on destroying any who would dare cross him.

JEB BUSH is ROB STARK: Crowned King of the North early on, he quickly moved to clear the field and built a machine of war. Sadly, it was a premature pronouncement, for the honorable leader would be eventually be cut down and betrayed by his own.

MARCO RUBIO is RAMSAY BOLTON: A spineless, treacherous, backstabbing liar, Ramsay Bolton will say or do anything to get what he wants. Which is quite similar to Marco Rubio, who never wants to wait and would shank even those who built him to have his chance to rule. Unfortunately for him, Jon Snow ended his ambitions once and for all.

JIM COMEY is THE 3-EYED RAVEN: Always watching, this mysterious creature has eyes everywhere and knows the whole story, and has carefully passed his knowledge down to Bran (Robert Mueller) after he is cut down in battle.