In my failed relationships… I have been abused mentally and physically, unsupported, not accepted for who I am, an infatuation, walked away from, given up on with no clue as to why, I have sat back and watched feelings go from so strong to feeling nothing for me at all. I have broken hearts, walked away, and did the same things to others. Never with evil intent, things just happen. I am writing this at my worst, heartbroken and confused. It seriously feels like a loss to me…

But as the 2 time world champion UFC fighter, Conor McGregor said, after his loss to Nate Diaz… “I have been on the end of many defeats. I don’t shy away from it. I reflect on it, I re assess it, and formulate a game plan to come back, without making the same mistakes that costed me the fight.” All I can do is take this on the chin and progress forward. This is not me taking full blame for my failed relationships, but I am here to say that I have learned a great deal from my mistakes. I am ready to fight again and apply what I have learned. I am eager for the moment where preparation meets opportunity.

Here are some of my mistakes in all failed relationships… Not just my most recent one… So some of these never occurred in my most recent one… But hopefully you can learn from a man who has made many mistakes with multiple chances at love…

It can be you again or someone else. I won’t allow my insecurities to make me act a certain way. I will trust in what you say and be rest assured that you are not my ex. You are you! I was so afraid to watch someone so sweet become controlling, so it made me defensive. That wasted a couple good moments away. It probably made you feel like you couldn’t tell me anything. I also won’t take it personal when you don’t feel like being as affectionate. I will respect space. Honestly I’d just feed off the vibe I get and move accordingly.

I would focus mainly on you as a person and not other things. Its important to bring the truth about who you are to the light. Let me celebrate your humanity! I wouldn’t get wrapped up in the financial aspect of us. I wouldn’t fight every battle, but be okay with taking certain losses. I would never go to bed angry or leave without solving our problem first. I also feel every thought doesn’t have to be shared, only the important ones. I would just say less and do more.

I would NEVER text you a flurry of angry messages, even if I am right. Because a text message is interpreted how the reader wants to interpret it, I rarely got my feelings across that way. It just ruins your mood and makes you upset. I would wait for calm moments to address certain things, so you would be more open minded. The goal is to bring change, not anger.

I would listen more, and try to not allow my apologies to be followed with accusations of you being at fault. That comes later when you will actually listen. Maybe over dinner! I would carry myself with more confidence because a women wants to feel safe and secure. I would practice patience!!! In all aspects, I would practice patience!!! Because love should be earned and it’s ok to allow these amazing moments to marinate! But of all these things, the most important is to apply what you have learned! To put God in the center.

I have made many mistakes, but I seek to grow as a man. I seek to bring power to my weak moments. I hope you learn from this and I pray for my next fight at love.

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