READING, PA—Struggling to control their urge to gawk at her enormous pair, passersby on Friday reportedly couldn’t help but stare at a woman’s huge kids. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ve never seen a set like those before,” said local filing clerk Ted Kilgariff, adding that there was no way not to notice a woman walking around with “a couple of big boys like that.” “Most of the time I honestly could care less about their size but, I mean, damn. They’re just bouncing around all over the place.” At press time, Kilgariff was flustered after the woman suddenly looked up and caught him staring.

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