A married woman who has admitted to being in relationships with five different men at once - just one of whom is her husband - claims that the other men in her life have actually helped to strengthen her marriage.

Writing under the pseudonym of Lisa, the 34-year-old said she has been in a relationship with her husband for half of her life, but claims having other partners has improved rather than hindered their partnership.

Speaking to Elle.com, Lisa, who is currently seeing four people other than her husband, revealed that she and her partner have been enjoying an open marriage for the past few years, explaining that they have come up with a certain set of guidelines to ensure that they both stay comfortable and happy with their arrangement.

Three is not a crowd: Speaking under the pseudonym Lisa, the 34-year-old said her polyamorous relationship with her husband started with a threesome with one of his co-workers

At the moment, Lisa explained that she has four partners other than her husband - two of which she also shares with him.

To begin with they used to see new partners 'as a couple' but five years ago they started seeing others independently.

Sometimes she has as many as three dates a week with other people.

'Right now, I have four other partners, two of whom we see together,' she explained. 'We each have maybe two dates with other people a month on average.

'Sometimes we go months where we only date and have sex with each other, other times we have three dates in a week.

'My personality type is conducive to multiple relationships. I'm a connector. I grew up with a really big family; I'm the kind of person who requires a lot of attention.

I have a lot of love to give; I like to dote on people. Polyamory helps me do that without putting all my needs on my husband

'I need to talk things through to feel better about them; it's a big part of how I function. I have a lot of love to give; I like to dote on people. Polyamory helps me do that without putting all my needs on my husband.'

She said they first brought up the subject after moving in together aged 18 when they came across the question 'how do you feel about monogamy?' in a magazine survey and they both selected the answer 'it's an unrealistic expectation.'

A year later Lisa instigated a threesome with one of his co-workers.

'We didn't talk about it just then, but let it simmer for a year until we had an opportunity to have a threesome with a coworker of his, which she and I instigated,' she said.

Before the threesome she told him she was fine with him having sexual contact with the woman but 'not penetrative penis-in-vagina sex'.

But 'in the heat of the moment' she said she had a change of heart.

She said: 'I was so turned on by watching them together. They were gorgeous and I was loving every minute of it; I didn't feel left out like I thought I would.

'I totally changed the rule right then and there. That seems to sum up my learning curve with non-monogamy. Now our only rules are honesty, safe sex, and no taking time from mutual commitments.'

She said she 'had a meltdown' when they were thinking about marriage over whether or not they would be monogamous.

But once they were engaged she 'panicked' over the idea of not having another first kiss with somebody. Luckily for her, her husband's feelings were mutual.

'First kisses are the best,' she said. 'The idea of being monogamous meant that kind of thing was over, and that felt so sad for me. When I shared it with my husband, he felt the same way.'

She said smartphones have been a 'huge blessing' to people in more than one relationship: 'It's so much easier to make people feel like they're part of your day by sending a quick hello text or a picture of something that reminded you of them that helps keep them close to you even as you have a separate life.'

She added: 'I have a long distance partner where I only see her a couple times a year but we're in communication every day via text or other social media.

The idea of being monogamous felt so sad for me and my husband felt the same way

'We rely on each other also for emotional support with things that are going in both of our lives. With two of my partners, it's more casual and sexually oriented.

'It's great to have five partners but if none of them really feel like they're supported by you, you're not an effective partner.'



Lisa said both her and her husband had many dependency issues at the start of their relationship and having multiple partners has highlighted that they need to be independent. She said they do not want the kind of relationship where they 'police' each other.

Despite having five partners she admits she still gets jealous but claims it could feature in 'any relationship'.

'You work through jealous feelings just like you work through the rest of your feelings,' she said. 'You feel it, you talk about it, you make a plan for how to do better in the future.'

When her husband was involved with a woman who was 'the exact opposite' of her she was 'really uncomfortable'. But when she met her she claims she 'totally got it' and saw how it 'brought out a totally different side' of her husband.

Currently, Lisa is dating a woman who she said is her 'submissive' and their relationship is 'vastly different' from the one she has with her husband.

She said: 'We have dates where we make out for hours; we both love that part as much as we love the parts where I tie her up and spank her and make her come so many times we lose count.