Going into the reunion after having watched the entire season back, it’s hard not to drudge up feelings for things that you thought you were over. But I told myself that I wouldn’t back down (or cry!). I’m coming in brave — I got a fresh spray tan and still wore a white dress. Come at me!

So when the swimsuit-naming situation comes up with Dorit, it’s our first chance to try and clear the air. Honestly, watching all of the times Dorit dismissed me, rolled her eyes, and basically just had an air of dislike towards me, I felt like I should explain that. I know that I’ve had some interview moments when I’ve said some shady things, but that’s what those are for, to express to the audience what we were feeling in the moment, and I always tried to do so with a sense of humor. But I never, in times with anybody when Dorit wasn’t around or in interviews, said anything to make it seem as if I actively disliked Dorit. I have even said multiple times that I don’t think she’s malicious, and we have a good time together. I really think that after her run on Housewives, she should go into politics, because she can masterfully spin any situation.

And…I make it about fourteen minutes in before I cry. But I’m not crying over these women — it’s the package reminding me about my IVF journey and the current debate on whether Edwin and I should have another child. As you hear me say, Slate recently asked for us to have another baby. And we’ve talked about it. I just don’t know if I will ever be ready to start the process of IVF to try and conceive another baby, and that makes me emotional. And let’s be honest, I’m not getting any younger.

But that’s it for the tears this reunion. As Ariana Grande says in her new song, “Ain’t got no tears left to cry.”

The whole WWHL drama with Lisa Rinna is hilarious in its ridiculousness. She and I are in a great place. We have fun together!

Until next week…

XX Teddi Jo “Boring” Mellencamp Arroyave