Joe slammed the shot glass down on his kitchen table. That last mouthful had pushed him just a bit past "buzzed." It was a good place to be for now. Eying the bottle of whiskey set before him Joe knew he would be far from "buzzed" by night's end. He looked across the table at his best friend Daniel whose eyes seemed close to glazing over. Daniel was a little more far gone than his friend but that was a usual occurrence when he was losing to Joe at a drinking game, though tonight's game "flip and sip," was more of a game of luck than skill.

He flicked a lone quarter on the table with his thumb.

"You call it man, heads or tails?"

Daniel stared at the quarter for a moment before sighing. "Why do we even play this game, why don't we just drink?"

"If we just drink we'll be alcoholics."

"Touché"

Joe deftly scooped up the bottle of whiskey and filled the only two shot glasses on the table.

"I read something interesting last night..." Daniel said suddenly.

This brought a chuckle out of Joe. "You read something? You sure you weren't on YouTube? You might have been watching a video Dan. I know you get confused sometimes."

Daniel shook his head vigorously. "Nah it was in a magazine-"

"Dan Keyboard Cat is not a magazine article."

"Screw you Joe."

Daniel began snapping his fingers in order to jog his memory.

"Oh yeah it said that the average time it takes for the human mind to rate beauty is zero point thirteen seconds. And that high-speed rating filter is part of the phenomenon that many people call love at first sight."

"Point thirteen seconds, damn" Joe said.

Having completely forgotten about the game, Daniel downed his shot and reached for the bottle. "I know, doesn't that seem way too fast?"

"I'd be skeptical too, if it hadn't happened to me."

Daniel spilled a bit of whiskey on the table as he glanced over at his friend. 'When did it happen to you? All your girlfriends were your like platonic friends first."

Joe tsked. "You shouldn't assume I tell you everything"

"Alright tell me about it now."

Joe scratched at his cheek. "Yeah it's not really a story to be told it's just something that happened once."

"Tell me about it or I'll…" Daniel emptied the shot glass into his mouth then held it before Joe's face. "I'll smush this into your contact lenses."

"So you're no longer an obnoxious drunk Dan, you're a violent one."

Daniel threw his hands up into the air. "Just tell me already!"

"Alright, I'll tell you, but don't get pissy when it turns out to be a boring story."

Joe picked up his own shot glass. He studied it for a moment before inhaling its contents. "Remember when I was working at Walgreens a few years back?"

Daniel shifted in his seat until he was leaning heavily on his right side. Joe imagined how hilarious it would be if a sudden and improbable gust of wind blew into the room sending his friend crashing to the floor.

"It's hard for me to remember anything right now" Daniel slurred.

"I remember" Joe declared proudly. "It was like a Monday or something, it was the late shift...yeah it was dark outside. I'm fifteen minutes away from my break, I got a price label-er in my hand and I'm just wandering around the store pretending to work. Through the corner of my eyes I spot this girl standing at the end of aisle five, she's standing right in front of a row of deodorant. Listen I don't know if it happened in point whatever seconds, but when my eyes fell on her…..I felt like y'know a blind man seeing a sunset for the first time."

Daniel nodded sagely. "I bet she was hot, hot like a hellcat. Like a feral cat in heat, ready to proooowl."

Incredulity masked Joe's face as he stared at his friend. "What the hell is wrong you?"

"What, are you offended?" Daniel asked nonchalantly.

"I'm a little confused by that reaction." Joe answered

"What are you offended about? This chick is not your current girl. She's a memory chick."

Joe slammed his hands against his table. "It's not the memory of stripper man! I'm talking about some real shit here."

"We both said the same thing. We both complimented her attractiveness" Daniel countered.

"Man I said she was beautiful."

"Seriously dude? You're getting semantical on me?"

"First of all "semantical" is not a word! Second of all I guess I'll have to educate you the difference between beautiful and hot."

Throwing his head back Daniel sighed. "Alright Socrates, educate me."

Quickly Joe pulled the two shot glasses towards himself. "Okay being hot and being beautiful, let's say they are both drinks. So you're at a bar, what's your drink?"

Giving Joe his full attention now Daniel replied, "Tequila."

"Alright there's tequila and there's the house special mystery drink."

Joe pushed Daniel's glass forward. "Being hot is tequila."

He then pushed his own glass forward until it was in parallel position to Daniel's. "Beauty is the specialty of the bar it's a mystery drink. Now if the bartender pours you some tequila you're going to think 'gimmie dat,' because you already know you really enjoy tequila. Now before the shot even hits your tongue you're ready for the next one. See at this point it's not about tequila's taste it's about the satisfying end result, which is you being blasted before night's end."

Joe tapped his own glass. "Now the house special is something you've never had before, the bartender starts mixing in all kinds of stuff before sliding drink towards you. You know its booze just like tequila but unlike tequila there's a little bit of uncertainty there, a little bit of mystery. What is this drink about? You want to know about it. You taste it you savor it, the flavor dances on your tongue. You ask the bartender "what's in it?" He's lists off stuff like whiskey, tangerine juice, sweet and sour mix, and chili powder."

Joe pointed at his friend, his voice now down to a whisper. "You think that's strange because these are common ingredients, you see them around everywhere, but somehow these things have blended together into something special. You finish the drink and yeah it's already got you tipsy, but here's the thing. You think to yourself if I could recreate it as a non-alcoholic drink I might drink it every day."

Joe hammered his fist against the table startling Daniel. "It could get you drunk if you wanted it to, but it's not about that. You have the desire to enjoy the drink not a desire for the drink to get you drunk. And THAT is the difference between being hot and being beautiful. You understand?"

He watched as a smirk slowly crawled along Daniel's face. "Honestly Joe that was some sucker for love, Pepe Le Pew type cheese you were laying on me bro. So it's not just your hair line that's receding but your balls are as well?"

Frowning Joe poured himself a drink. "Well excuse me for trying to kick some wisdom your way you knuckle dragger."

Daniel tapped his glass requesting a refill. "Hey come on, don't get your feelings hurt. It's not like I didn't already you were that sappy. So finish the story. What happened after beast saw beauty."

Joe filled Daniel's glass. "Dude it's not really a good story."

Daniel dropped the liquid down his throat and winced. "Listen we're friends, we started something together and we gotta finish it together."

Joe brought his glass to his lips. "I don't know why we are even friends. How did we become friends? It seems crazy to me now."

He slurped up the fiery liquid.

"So where was I? Oh yeah, I see her down the aisle. I count of five "Mississippi's" in my head before turning away from her. A five second stare is my general rule of thumb to keep myself out of the creep zone. Anything past six seconds and a girl might assume you were undressing her with your eyes. Whether she assumes correctly or not it pretty much kills most chances of her being receptive to a conversation-"

"Oh my god, get back to the girl!" Daniel groaned.

"I'm getting to it! So technically I'm on the job, but no one said you couldn't fuse customer service with charm right?"

"Uh-huh, ma'am tonight I can offer you the F, the C and the K all I need is U"

"Dan I don't think I've ever mentioned how I admire the kind of class you can bring to a conversation." Joe sighed.

"Anyway I take my labeler and I just start pricing things randomly as I make way down the aisle. Items closing in on six dollars are suddenly eighty nine cents, but I don't care. I price I glance at her, I price again and I glance at her again. By the time I am two skips away from her my palms are sweaty and my heart is racing like a goddamn horse on meth. Seriously I could hear it beating so clearly it was as if it were lying up against my ear drum. At that point I start thinking 'what am I doing? I could lose my job'"

Daniel's eyebrows furrowed. "Don't tell me you chickened out."

"I was ready to turn around, but then the music on the PA system changed." Joe laughed to himself. "You know that song Chasing Cars?"

Daniel shook his head. "Doesn't right a bell, what band?"

"I don't know…..But the chorus is like 'If I lay here if I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?'"

Recollection flashed in Daniel's eyes. "Oh Christ, that song is pure vagina."

Stone faced, Joe ignored that remark.

"So that song starts playing and it uhh let's just say it gives me resolve. Besides the job was only eleven bucks an hour so screw it y'know? I take a deep breath and I say...'May I help you miss?'"

"Epic" Daniel crowed.

"She acknowledges my existence with this sidelong glance. She says 'there are a lot of deodorant brands' huh?' Luckily that was the point in time where I still read the memos from supervisors about featured products. So I get my salesman on, I grab one of the deodorants and go-"

Joe plucked his shot glass from the table and extended his hand towards Daniel. "-This is our current best seller Pure Beauty Natural Deodorant it's "aluminum-free" and it's actually the first ever "vegan deodorant."

"What in the hell is a vegan deodorant?"

Can we try to keep focus here Dan?" Joe grumbled. "She turns to me and I get a close up of her face and its pow, like Steven fucking Segal chopped me right in the throat. It just clenched on me."

Daniel snorted loudly. "This is hilarious."

Joe closed his eyes and drew in a breath. When his eyes flickered open he blurted out. "I swear to my mother I will strangle you Dan because you is not listening to what I am saying. I aint never done seen eyes that dark have that much light"

Daniel put his hands up as if to surrender. "Jesus, don't get so upset man, when you get mad your grammar starts slipping."

Joe went back to the bottle. He topped himself and Daniel off. "What happened next is those dark eyes went right to the price tag. She blurts out 'That's twenty two dollars!'"

"Twenty two dollars for deodorant?!"

There are people who buy it Danny boy. But I could tell by the look on her face she was not one of those people. So I tell her 'I understand' and then I grab another product. I tell her "between me and you this is just as good and its half the price." It was Total Secret Fresh Meadow; you could actually smell the perfume in it from beneath the cap."

"Through the cap? Damn that is a pretty intense scent."

Joe smirked. "She had the same thought, she said and I quote "I'm not really fond of that smelling like I walked through a field of flowers-potpourri kind of smell y'know?"

"Hmm seems like a down to earth kind of gal" Daniel remarked.

Joe nodded and continued. "I picked up another one and I hand it to her. Then I said, "well if you ask me, from what I can see I think this would fit you the best."

"What brand did you give her?"

Licking his lips Joe muttered. "Gillette."

Daniel tilted his head to the side. Joe could see the gears turning beneath his friend's skull.

"Alright Joe, I'll be the girl. Why in the world would Gillette be fitting for me?"

Joe cleared his throat. "Because…...it's the best a man can get."

Daniel paused. "You said that to her?"

"Yep." Joe answered while running his hands across his face.

Daniel leaned back in his seat until there were only two legs on the ground. When he leaned forward again the chair's forelegs hit the ground with a loud thump.

"I like it. It's funny in a corny sweet kind of way. It's a gamble but it's the kind of gamble a low-self-esteem having dude like you has to take. It was the right move Joe."

"Thank you." Joe said after enjoying a nice chuckle.

"Well did she like it? Did she laugh? I mean laugh with you not at you, though realistically I guess either option had equal chance of happening."

Looking beyond his friend and into the past itself Joe simply shrugged. "She just looked down at the deodorant in her hand. I kept a smile on my face; I am super smiling...when she finally looks up at me she shakes her head and says 'I just don't like to smell."

Daniel's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What did you do?"

"I recommended the ninety nine cent unscented store brand roll-on and I walked away."

"You walked away?! Why did you walk away?!"

"She just didn't want to smell Dan." Joe answered.

It was Daniel's turn to reach for the bottle. He filled the two glasses to the brim.

"That was a beautiful story man."

"Screw you Dan."

"I'm serious."

Joe studied the expression on Daniel's face and it told him that his friend wasn't kidding this time.

"No, it wasn't a beautiful story. What are you talking about?"

"It's almost poetic dude, it's like symbolic."

A peculiar look came over Joe's face. "Symbolic of what exactly?"

"Life man, life" Daniel cupped his glass and downed the drink in one swift motion. "You're a ultra-sensitive dude Joe, but I love you like a brother."

Joe gulped his drink and set down his shot glass. "The good thing is I'm close to black out drunk so chances are I won't remember how stupid this conversation got in the morning."

"You'll see her again bro."

"No Dan, I'll never see her again."

Joe then looked down at the bottom of his glass and smiled. Daniel went to his memory to try and recall the last time he'd seen that kind of smile from his friend. He came up blank. Joe took the bottle and served them up once more. Daniel picked up his glass and held it up to Joe's

"Well at least you saw her once" he said clinking his drink glass against Joe's

Joe's soft snicker grew it into a full blown belly laugh as the two friends tipped their shots back and drank up.