CHICAGO—Emitting a wondrous spectrum of glowing, electric hues, local administrative assistant Jerry Offman dazzled coworkers with a futuristic light show Monday morning as he walked past their desks arrayed in a fluorescent bike-safety vest. “Behold the man of the future, treating all who gaze upon him to a technological marvel of light!” spellbound colleagues said as the space-age traveler strode past them in his glistening robe of luminescent nylon and velcro straps. “From what distant, strange dimension does this traveler hail? And from what alchemy or manner of enchantment did he fashion this marvelous prismatic smock?” Sources reported the wondrous exhibition of tomorrow ended when the explorer leaned his bike against the corner of the office and rolled down his pant leg.

Advertisement