With the Angelina Jolie’s directorial debut In The Land Of Blood And Honey came also criticism from Serbia that the movie is “anti-Serbian” and that it will further damage Serbia’s reputation in the world. After the Serbs concluded the film is anti-Serbian before anyone even saw it, a real propaganda war was declared on Angelina. There are a lot of articles out there dissecting anti-Serb behavior in foreign media, but the problem is, they generally become annoying after quickly sinking into pro-Serb propaganda (but not in a good way).

The thing I noticed is that there is no article considering the good sides of anti-Serb propaganda. Luckily, we’re going to put a stop to that. So here we go:

1. When in a verbal conflict, the other side is generally more likely to be afraid of you if you mention you’re from Serbia, and it doesn’t really matter if in real life you actually look like an accountant.

2. Cab driver is less likely to rip you off abroad because he thinks you probably know someone from Serbian cab mafia in that town, nevermind where in the world you are taking a cab.

3. People listen carefully what you have to say because they believe you’ve been through the war, killed people for not carefully listening to you and shit.

4. Everyone believes your empty threat “You would not be the first person I killed, you know.”

5. If you are a guy, foreign girls think you probably treat women like objects, and so they start behaving like objects.

6. If you are a girl, guys think you are easy so you should generally have no problem in getting laid.

7. No matter how bad or obnoxious you behave in public, you are still forgiven for not yet starting to randomly kill people on the street.

8. Your dark and politically incorect humor is accepted no matter how bad it really is, because everyone believes you became such an idiot after being a part of a horrific war crime.

9. All of the above works even if you were born after the war ended and hence have never even had the chance to loot and pillage with the other Serbs from your tribe.

10. It’s easy to avoid a conversation with a boring, but easily scareable foreigner.

If you are a Serb, let me know if you tried some of these and if you know of some other insightful ways to take advantage of the situation by just being a Serb.

In case you are not a Serb, it would be interesting to find out if and how anti-Serb propaganda has affected you so far, so let us know in the comments.

And if you don’t share this article, remember: I am a Serb, and I will find you and kill you.