In today’s ‘People That Are The Worst’ section, here’s a married couple from Canberra who say they will get divorced if gay marriage is allowed in Australia.

Nick and Sarah Jensen fronted a local magazine, Canberra CityNews, because they want the whole country to know that they’re not homophobic but if those crazy gays demand equality one more damn time, they’ll be ruining straight people’s marriages!!11!1!!

The article was written by Nick, who is worried about the sanctity of his hetero marriage 🙁 🙁 🙁

“My wife and I just celebrated our 10-year anniversary. But later this year, we may be getting a divorce. The decision to divorce is not one we’ve taken lightly. And certainly, it’s not one that many will readily understand. And that’s because it’s not a traditional divorce.”

“Our view is that marriage is a fundamental order of creation. Part of God’s human history. Marriage is the union of a man and a woman before a community in the sight of God. And marriage of any couple is important to God regardless of whether that couple recognises God’s involvement or authority in it.”

“If our federal parliament votes to change the timeless and organic definition of marriage later on this year, it will have moved against the fundamental and foundational building block of Australian society and, indeed, human culture everywhere.”

Plenty of readers wrote in expressing their disgust with the article, and many were also unimpressed that Canberra CityNews failed to mention that Nick Jensen is employed by the Australian Christian Lobby.

Jensen concludes the article by saying that he knows that he and his wife are not alone in how they feel. Which is probably true. There’s some bigoted people out there.

But I digress. Let’s all say a big cheers to the ridiculousness of the Jensen’s; may their convictions one day be as fragile as their marriage.

Story & Image via Fairfax Digital