DECEMBER 11--An Alaska woman appears to have set the record for the amount of counterfeit currency and narcotics hidden inside body orifices, according to court records.

Fairbanks police were dispatched last month to an adult novelty store after a clerk called 911 to report that a couple sought to purchase merchandise with a counterfeit $100 bill.

Before cops could get to the Castle Megastore, suspect Chelsea Sperry, 31, left the business with a “large wad of cash” provided by her boyfriend (who waited for police to arrive). Shortly after Sperry drove away from the business, she was pulled over by police who had been given her description by the store employee.

When a check revealed that Sperry was driving with a suspended license, she was arrested and transported to the Fairbanks Correctional Center.

At the jail, a corrections officer observed Sperry “making furtive movements toward her vagina,” according to a criminal complaint. Sperry was then “put through a body scan,” which revealed that she “had items concealed in her vagina or anus.”

A female corrections officer subsequently “removed a wad of cash and drugs from inside” Sperry. The haul included six $100 bills, three $50 bills, and seven $20 bills, all of which were counterfeit. The $890 in funny money, however, was supplemented by a genuine $10 bill that “was discovered in Sperry’s anus.”

Sperry’s vagina, investigators noted, also held two baggies of methamphetamine, a baggie containing seven morphine sulfate pills, and two baggies containing a “brown tarry substance” that tested positive for heroin. The corrections officer also recovered a “clear plastic baggie” containing 40 smaller baggies that were similar in size to the ones containing the meth and heroin. The smaller baggies, the complaint notes, are “commonly used for the distribution of smaller amounts of heroin and methamphetamine.”

Pictured above, Sperry was indicted this month on felony narcotics and forgery charges, as well as two misdemeanor counts related to driving with a suspended license. Sperry, who is free on $5000 bond, has been arrested twice this year for theft, though charges were subsequently dropped in each case.

A police search of Sperry’s boyfriend, Jeffrey Martin, turned up several hundred dollars and a digital scale, though he does not appear to have been charged.

Sperry’s arrest--which was first reported by Dorothy Chomicz of the Fairbanks Daily News‑Miner--was brought to TSG’s attention by a reader who demanded to know, “How big of a hoohaa does this woman have?” The correspondent then answered their own question, declaring, “Bigger than a backpack!” (3 pages)