I have noticed a certain sentiment lately, that men should call out the bad behavior of other men. That men should somehow take responsibility and fix toxic masculinity. I have even seen some self-loathing from certain men that say things like “men have messed up the world”. Look at the infamous, recent Gillette ad for example that encourages men to “be better” and “call out the bad behavior in other men”.

This sentiment of collective guilt is appalling to me. Men are very diverse and can have all sort of different personalities. Men should not be blamed collectively for bad male behavior and they should not take responsibility just because of their gender. This way of thinking also implies that women never encourage bad behavior in men, something that is very doubtful. There are a lot of neglectful and abusive mothers out there who can indeed promote bad behaviors to their sons.

No, men should not apologize and call out other men just because they share the same genitals with certain bad characters. Don’t get me wrong, calling out bad people and standing up to them is a good thing regardless of gender. What bothers me is when someone implies that a man should call out other men’s bad behavior just because he is a man too. No, men are not always responsible for the so called “toxic masculinity” just like women are not always innocent. There are ways that both men and women can encourage harmful behavior in others.