Dear me,

Congrats on making it this far into life.

You’ve gotten stronger (1RM for Deadlift is 115lbs 💪🏾), smarter (loving Chemistry ⚗️), that much closer to a no-makeup look (never wore makeup, to begin with 💄), and much more.

When I started my weight loss journey, I never thought that I would get to 30 lbs lost. From my all-time high of 225lbs, I have learned to love myself more.

I enjoyed wearing and planning my outfits. I was getting so good at it.

Looking on Pinterest for inspiration for clothes I didn’t have. Planning my style/aesthetic for when I get closer to my goal weight (ulzzang for those who are wondering).

I would enjoy exercising and found a newfound love of weightlifting. Love me some deadlifts, bench presses, and slowly got used to squatting. I didn’t feel burdened by my limited knee mobility.

I could run. Albeit, in a limping way. But I could run. For 15+ years, I believed that I physically could not run.

I’ve had a few major knee surgeries, so the mental block was there for a long time.

I, as an INFP, was comfortably conversing with people.

I was getting help with my supposed depression by going to my college’s wellness.

My second take at college was going great, despite the hurdles I had stacked against me.

Everything was going great.

In this period, I learned a few things. Like I mentioned in my Onederland post, taking it easy when in doubt is the way to go.

There is, however, a fine line between taking it easy (maintaining your loss) and being lazy (ruining your progress).

While they say weight management is 80% diet and 20% exercise, I personally think its also 90% mental and 10% physical.

Reframing your mind can really help you learn to accept yourself and amplify any victories you eventually achieve like I explain in my Affirmation post.

But the real question is, “Why do I want to lose weight?”

For the first 15 lbs, it was just because I could. I was so used to calorie counting, that it was an effortless change. Add to the fact that I had a meal plan that allowed one (maybe two) meals a day, I started practicing IF (Intermittent Fasting) and OMAD (One Meal a Day).

The last 15 lbs were purely due to the snowball effect of successful weight loss and mild peer pressure from being surrounded by slimmer people. (I, unfortunately, still tend to conform too easily).

If I had to list a few things, then it would be:

Being confident in how I present myself

Not feeling limited by my athletic ability

Having fewer things to criticize or overthink about

But as you may see…I just want to feel like a better me.

A me that doesn’t have constant negative self-talk.

A me that doesn’t have to always think whether or not the people I call friends may hate me.

Overall, I want to be a confident me.

The main thing that has been preventing me is that I haven’t been focusing on how close I was getting to this goal.

I am able to exercise in a gym without worrying too much about others. (I still overthink the situation, but not to a horrible degree)

I can confidently ask questions and answer problems in my lectures without thinking about how others think of me.

There was progress that I could see. The progress that will help me toward my other goals.

If I can just focus on what positive things I am gaining from this journey, I feel like I’ll be able to get to the goal.

I know I can do it. 😊

All the best,

Bell

P.S. If you are struggling to achieve a goal, make sure you take the time to really see how far you’ve come. It really helps put your efforts into perspective.

P.P.S. I invite you to write your own letter to yourself. A cool way to do it is by emailing your future self, using the FutureMe site. Also, credit to all of the user on r/loseit for inspiring me to write this

P.P.P.S. Learn more about me, Bell, from our About Us page.