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Whatsapp Nevo Zisin came out twice: first as a lesbian, then as a transgender person

Nineteen-year-old Nevo Zisin came out as a lesbian in high school with the support of his mother, Sharon Swiatlo. When he came out a second time—as transgender—Sharon found it much harder to deal with, but in the end supported Nevo’s transition. The pair spoke to Life Matters about their journey.

‘I've been trying to tell everyone for years, people just didn't listen. From the ages of four to nine I was dressing as male, I was correcting people if they referred to me as female, which created a lot of hilarious situations with my parents.’

When Nevo Zisin was 15 he came out for the first time—as a lesbian.

You know, I love my child unconditionally: same person, different package.

‘I was surprised but not shocked,’ says his mother, Sharon Swiatlo, who had battled with him over school uniforms and what to wear to synagogue.

Nevo became a queer activist at his Melbourne Jewish private school and took part in a documentary, Love in Full Colour, which chronicled the lives of gay teens and aired for the first time at the Melbourne Queer Film Festival in March.

‘I didn't fit in with the girls, I didn't fit in with the boys,’ he told the camera. ‘I didn't like the girls, I wanted to be with the boys ... they always knew I was different, I always knew I was different.’

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Whatsapp Nevo Zisin as a young girl

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Whatsapp A younger Nevo with Sharon

It wasn’t the last time Nevo would come out, though. ‘One day he came to me with a documentary that he wanted me to watch and it was about a female-to-male transgender person,’ says Sharon. ‘I said to my friend, "Oh my gosh, I've got an awful feeling that Nevo wants to change sex."

‘I was in complete shock, so much so that I couldn't even talk about it with him for the first couple of months. He went on to choose a name without my input. It was very difficult for me to deal with in the beginning.

‘Obviously I saw that Nevo was dressing as a boy and behaving as such but I just thought it was a tomboy phase. I never really considered that he was born into the wrong body.’

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Whatsapp Nevo recently

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Whatsapp Nevo in Australia

Nevo, however, was determined to win the support of his mother. He sent an ex-girlfriend to talk to her and says he had to conversationally ‘slap her around a bit’ to get her on board.

‘I also think that irrespective of how supportive a parent is it's very confronting to have to reconfigure your expectations of what your child will live to be,’ he says. ‘I know that was hard for mum to no longer imagine me married with a husband and children, and then to imagine that I'll be the husband.

‘It wasn't really an option. It was a life or death situation. This is what I needed to survive.’

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Whatsapp Nevo and Sharon

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Whatsapp Nevo in Israel

At first, Sharon didn’t agree with Nevo’s decision to immediately begin taking testosterone when he took a gap year in Israel.

'He was going overseas and the prospect of having my daughter leave and a son return with such a drastic change was very difficult for me to deal with,' she says.

Nevo pushed ahead in any case, and now, more than a year later, has plans for chest surgery, and though Sharon says it's not an easy thing to accept, she understands his point of view.

‘The endocrinologist said to me: "You seem to be taking this remarkably well." I said to him, "What choice do I have?" And he said, "You have a choice, there are many kids who turn up here without their parents love and support."

‘I said, "I love my child unconditionally: same person, different package."'

Losing a daughter, gaining a son: a teen coming out story with a twist Listen to the full episode of Life Matters to hear the entire interview with Nevo and his mother Sharon.

Life Matters charts and analyses contemporary Australian life, with a special focus on social policy, personal stories, and listener contributions.

