My living room isn't a photography studio, but apparently it needs to be one, complete with a tripod, if I'd like to get my face scanned into NBA 2K15.

One guess as to the three words I say at 1:19 of this video.

2K Sports has touted face scanning through most of the game's pre-release hype, but I doubt they actually tested its usefulness in a real living room. In mine, my PS4 camera sits atop my television and is a total of 51 inches off the ground. I'm 6-0. Seated I'm shorter than 51 inches.

So what you see here is me trying hold the camera steady at eye level, and then trying to sit up on the arms of a chair and remain statue-still long enough for NBA 2K15 to recognize and scan my face. I might add that even if it did get the frontal view, it would then have to do a side scan. I have no idea how I'd pull that off.

I'm not the only one having trouble. Others have scanned in monstrous-looking glitch creatures, and some have simply given up, as I have, going back to my 6-5 shooting guard with the Kid-n-Play hi-top fade.

Update: OK, fine. For all you armchair QA geniuses out there who say I'm doing it wrong because my face isn't filling the square — even though it fills the frame enough for the application to try to initiate the scan three times in the above video — here I am trying for the extreme closeup you suggest. I cut out three minutes of attempts to get you to the good stuff.

No, the problem is not lighting, background or the size of my mug. The problem is that moving your face a micrometer is enough to throw off the PlayStation Camera's recognition for purposes of NBA 2K15's face scan. I have no idea what things are like with the Xbox One's Kinect 2.0 sensor. But maybe — just maybe — this is a poorly designed application that depends on an optimal set of conditions that are not present in many consumers' living room environments.

Either way, I'm not wasting my time with NBA 2K15's Face Scan any more.