WHEN my grandfather was working in the NHS, as a GP, he had only three weapons in his medical armoury – aspirin, bandages and a bit of time for those who dropped by because they were lonely.

Illnesses and ailments then were either cheap to fix or fatal. Which meant that the NHS worked very well.

12 The NHS used to be cheap to run because either an illness was minor, or the patient died - now everything is much more complicated and expensive Credit: Alamy

It’s a different story today though because medical science is able to transplant hearts and enlarge breasts and prevent strokes.

Treating a cancer patient can cost £100,000. And since half the population will get this bastard of a disease at some point, you do have to scratch your head and think, “How on earth can we afford it?”.

The sad truth is that one day, it won’t be possible.

But until that day arrives, the Government is looking at ways to keep costs down, and has suggested that patients must produce ID to show they are at least eligible for free treatment.

12 At some point we are not going to be able to afford this any more, which is why I think it's sensible we suggest patients produce ID to prove they are entitled to free care Credit: Alamy

This would, it’s hoped, prevent doctors spending our money on patients who arrived at Heathrow that morning having contributed not one penny to the NHS. So-called health tourists.

The issue was discussed this week on the BBC’s Question Time and was dismissed by pretty much the entire panel, and presenter David Dimbleby himself, as racist.

In the audience were a handful of lunatics who made mooing noises. But mostly it was an endless succession of junior doctors and student activists who said the NHS should provide care at all levels to everyone from all over the world all of the time.

I’m afraid I watched the whole thing unfurl with sagging shoulders and a heavy heart.

12 This week's Question Time was essentially a long succession of naive people suggesting the NHS should be free to everyone, no questions asked - but how is that sustainable? Credit: BBC

That personable but completely misguided lunatic who runs what used to be called the Liberal Democrats — but since the election is the Liberal Democrat — said all of the money used to prop up the economy should be spent on the NHS and that if someone arrived from, say, Nigeria for a transplant, he or she should be treated, no questions asked, and then sent a bill for the work afterwards.

Really? And they’d do what with it? Pay up? Or put it in the bin?

So then expensive lawyers would have to become involved, and their letters would go in the bin too. And then what?

Wouldn’t it be easier to say to someone arriving at the hospital: “Can we see your passport?

That’s not racist. It’s just sensible.



History to bear in mind

12 In its heyday, a Rotherham stately home provided living quarters for a bear-keeper - which is amazing Credit: Getty Images

THE Government has decided to spend £7.6million of our money so that a gigantic stately home near Rotherham can be restored to its former glory.

Needless to say, a lot of people were rushing about saying the money should have been spent on the kiddies and old people.

But I wasn’t.

I was looking into the history of the house in question and it turned out that in its heyday, it provided quarters for a full-time “bear keeper”.

Can you imagine being so rich that you can afford a bear, and a full-time man to look after it?

Mind you, stuff like that does still go on today.

I know someone who employs a “projectionist” for when he wants to watch a DVD.

And I rang a friend the other day and was told by her housekeeper that she was in the “flower room”.

I quite like the idea of having so many rooms that one of them is reserved solely for the arrangement of flowers.

Ice one, captain

12 When Scott recorded how much ice was at the North Pole decades ago, there was very little difference between that and today Credit: Getty Images

FOR years, scientists and global warming enthusiasts have had to guess how much ice was in the sea off Antarctica 100 years ago.

There were no records. No one had been. And there were no satellites keeping a watchful eye back then.

But now it turns out that the explorer, Scott of the Antarctic, kept meticulous records about how much sea ice he encountered more than a century ago.

His data has been compared to present day figures and it turns out there’s as much ice now as there was then. The figures are pretty much identical.

Greenpeace has not exactly been shouting about these findings.

Can’t imagine why.

It's Herr-esy to diss Brits

12 Philip Hammond and Theresa May say German industry is much more efficient than British, and we should be taking inspiration from the continent to boost productivity Credit: Getty Images

ACCORDING to Philip Hammond and Theresa May, German industry is far more efficient than ours, with their workers producing in four days what it takes ours five to achieve.

How have they worked that one out?

Did they perhaps look at Volkswagen and think, “Golly. They’re making loads more cars than Aston Martin or Rolls-Royce. There must be something wrong with Britain.”

No there isn’t. It’s just that the cars we make tend to be complicated and full of craftsmanship.

The cars made in Germany roll down a production line and are simple.

This is the problem when you put people called Hammond and May in the hot seat. They end up talking nonsense.

12 This is a case study in why people called May and Hammond should not be in charge of things Credit: PA:Press Association

I mean, are they saying that the British can’t produce newspapers as fast as the Germans? I only ask because it’s not like you’re reading this on a Tuesday.

Nor did I watch the news from Tuesday on TV last night.

But if Hammond and May really are worried about how we lag behind Germany in productivity, they could speed things up here by adopting the system they employ on their autobahns.

And get rid of our idiotically low speed limits.



Button it, Jenson

12 Jenson Button has pointed out that we could damage cars on The Grand Tour as we burn a lot of rubber on corners Credit: Planet Photos

12 But on Top Gear last season he drifted a MacLaren so far it came off the track... bit hypocritical! Credit: Fame Flynet

JENSON BUTTON has pointed out that none of us on The Grand Tour are racing drivers (dead right) and that when we drift a car round a corner in a cloud of tyre smoke, he feels sad – because he loves cars and thinks we are probably causing damage.

Now, I like Jenson a lot. He’s funny and bright.

But he seems to have forgotten that when he appeared in the most recent season of Top Gear, he drifted a McLaren so enormously he ended up crashing off the track completely.

related stories Comment THE SUN SAYS Help us save the Poppy Appeal so it doesn't become another Covid casualty Comment ADRIAN CHILES Our football pyramid will crumble if the Premier League doesn’t dig deep Comment ROD LIDDLE Here's a solution Boris - protect the elderly and let the rest carry on as usual Comment THE SUN SAYS It is unfair simply to blame the public for the new coronavirus restrictions Comment JANE MOORE Tory MP wife's diary is a flappy-mouthed takedown of David Cameron's government Comment THE SUN SAYS Credit to Boris for resisting lockdown, but it's time MPs had a say on crisis Comment ALLY ROSS Dennis Nilsen's Cranley Gardens a Des res thanks to a perfect Tennant Comment TREVOR KAVANAGH Boris Johnson is isolated & his allies now seem ready to tear him down Comment THE SUN SAYS Second national lockdown will lead to short term mayhem and long-term misery Comment THE SUN ON SUNDAY SAYS Boris must use TV speech to rule out second national lockdown

Planet of the fakes

12 Sound effects are almost always fake in nature films - so I'm not sure why Planet Earth II's sound design is such an issue Credit: 6

VIEWERS have been criticising the Planet Earth II series, saying the sound effects are fake.

Yup. They pretty much always are in nature films.

It’s hard enough getting the pictures of a bear catching a fish or a bat having a crap or a fox pleasuring itself without having to wait for the soundman to get his headphones on and fire up the electric handbag.

I shouldn’t worry though, because the BBC’s natural history department is famously thorough.

12 With the BBC you can be sure they've been thorough - it's difficult to capture nature sounds accurately at the time but they'll have found a recording of the same animal having a similar experience Credit: 6

So if they play the sound of a wonga wonga bird doing a mating call, it won’t be just some library sound effect of a blackbird outside the studio window.

It may not have been recorded at the same time as the pictures were shot, but it really will be a wonga wonga bird and it really will be horny.

It will be true, but not necessarily real. And that’s not fakery in my book.



Ambassa-duh

12 If Nigel Farage is to be the next ambassador to the US, what ridiculous character is to come to the UK? Credit: AP:Associated Press

RIGHT, so this week Donald Trump suggested that Nigel Farage should be the next British ambassador to America.

I see, and who’s going to be the new US ambassador in Britain? Ted Nugent?

Actually, scratch that. Because the way things are going, it could be...