We live in a superficial world, and I dare anyone to try and disprove this. We are drawn to people and things that are beautiful. How we define beauty might be a very personalized experience, but make no mistake about it there are those of us who have an innate pull toward beautiful people like Scarlett Johansson or Channing Tatum. And a pull towards beautiful things which range from cars to cell phones. How we define attraction has the unseen ability to determine our happiness throughout the course of our whole lives.

Recognizing our prejudices regarding beauty can vastly improve our existence through exposure to people and things that lack a traditional form of beauty. But it can also make us realize that running down unattainable levels of self-beautification will push us toward dissatisfaction with ourselves, while simultaneously pulling people towards us whom have yet to acknowledge their own beauty prejudices. These matters of superficiality will only serve to diminish our contentment within our own lives.

The exhibit descriptor for The Question of Beauty at the Oklahoma Art Museum (taken Nov 4th 2017). People are not unlike art, with that in mind the last paragraph is one that is perpetually relevant.

Lately I’ve seen a number of my friends seemingly wallowing in the doubts of their transition. Hands down a number of these doubts stem from external influences, but the most destructive and often prevailing doubt comes in the form of the individuals reflection.

I can’t sit idly by and act like this isn’t something that I have experienced first hand. This desire to flip a switch and become who we are overnight is one that nearly everyone has. When we choose to live authentically we need to understand that we will spend years becoming the beautiful person we want the world to see. That period of transition is the one wrought with the greatest emotional turmoil, and it’s no doubt the same reason that the WPATH standard of care requires as much counseling as it does. Finding peace within this turmoil is a matter of accepting our reflection. Understanding that it isn’t going to look “right” to you or society for an undefined period of time is absolutely essential to your survival. When you have this epiphany, the reflection ceases to be that of a person you find ugly or disgusting, but a reflection of beauty, strength, perseverance, and stoicism.

For me personally getting to this point has been a long road. In the beginning I was disguising my maleness with wigs, and as I got good at it; an abundance of makeup. But as confidence of self takes hold, matters of presentation began to become less of a priority.