BRITAIN'S new drugs czar has claimed that cannabis can make dub reggae enjoyable for white people.

Professor Les Iversen said the drug should be legalised if only to help middle-class caucasians get the most out of Lee 'Scratch' Perry, King Tubby and I-Roy.

He added: "I'm just saying that, objectively speaking, most white people find it difficult to elevate their understanding of reggae beyond One Love and maybe a spot of Aswad.

"Yes, they may be aware of Burning Spear, but they won't have actually heard him. They're not naturally receptive to dub in the same way a labrador has no natural affinity with grapefruit.

"But the consumption of cannabis, even poor quality 'soap bar' with bits of clear plastic in, turns those initially mystifying layers of reverb and delay into a goose-down musical mattress on which white people will luxuriate for hours and hours as they drift ever deeper into a warm, profound meditation which will leave them feeling genuinely touched by the hand of Jah.

"I would imagine."

But Conservative backbencher Julian Cook said: "I like a bit of UB40 in the car on a nice day, and I also quite liked that one by Chaka Demus and Pliers, but that's absolutely as far as I, or anyone else, needs to go in terms of bass-heavy music.

"I certainly wouldn't want my son or daughter listening to hours of similar-sounding instrumentals with names like 'Version 4' while they nod their head like a well-toasted Churchill insurance dog."

He added: "Would someone please tell me what's wrong with a nice glass of sherry?"