You longingly glance at the couple across the restaurant. They seem so in tune. He looks at her like she is the only girl in the room. She rubs her leg along his. Teasing him, while holding his hand. You wish you were that in love, and hope that someday someone will look at you that way. Most have us have seen relationships that we covet. We desire that kind of commitment, that kind of love, and that kind of passion. Yet we don’t realize that those happy couples have secrets that make their relationships what they are.

They are committed : No matter what, come hell or high water they are in it for the long haul. Committed relationships make for happier couples. Relationships where divorce is not an option, and the couple must work out their differences, tend to lead to happier relationships long term. To them love is more than just emotion, it’s a decision that no matter what happens we are going to stick together and work it out. They say to each other “I have chosen you among many others and am sticking to that decision come what may” They actively work to maintain the bond, respect and love in the relationship. Each is a contributor to the peace and happiness of the relationship.

They Fight Fair : No one is blameless when it comes to disagreements and happy couples realize this. They don’t throw up past offenses, and they don’t threaten to leave if they don’t get their way (they are committed). Difference will arise from time to time, there is going to be mistakes and setbacks but instead of focusing on who to blame and bring down, they accept the fact that the deed has been done and all that matters most is the solution. They constructively access the damage but focus on the solution instead of the problem. Nothing ruins a relationship faster than “blame game”.

They stay positive : For every negative thing one can think about their spouse or significant other, there are at least five positives. At least that’s the case in a happy relationship. Life with their significant other may have its downs, but the positives always outweigh the negative. Happy couples also speak positively about their spouse or significant other. They don’t insult them when they are not around, and are their biggest supporter. Happy couples always have positive views and thoughts towards their spouse. That doesn’t mean that there are no negative, but they understand that you attract more of what you focus on, so they deliberately focus on the positive side of their spouse thereby attracting more of it into the relationship.

They Listen : There is a reason why we all have 2 ears and 1 mouth; so we can listen twice as we speak. Happy couples have great communication with each other. They listen to what the other is saying, even when it is not important to them. They listen to their spouse or significant other because they genuinely care about them, their day, and what is going on in their lives. Great communication is very vital to a happy relationship and being a great listener to your spouse is one of the secrets of happy couples.

They Never Stop Dating : Happy couples understand that time together is key to a healthy relationship. This means date nights, regularly. This means holding doors open, gazing at each other, putting phones away and showing an interest in the person they are with. Relationship is a long time commitment and as such there will always be a time where everything because normal and couples do things in a routine way. Maintaining the spark in the relationship is vital. Happy couples never forget this rule, they constantly think of new and better ways of showing their love and appreciation for their partner.

When couples get past a certain point in their relationship they tend to let things slide. They become comfortable with the other person and stop dating, listening, and showing an interest in their spouse or significant other. These things don’t happen with happy couples because they CHOOSE to be invested in their partner. They fight fair, they listen, and they date and stay positive about their partner. They do these things not because they have to, but because they want to. They know that a happy partner equals a happy couple!

Editor’s Note: If you’re in love with a man who is hard to pin down, afraid of commitment, and expects you to do all the work in the relationship, here is something you can do to change things. Click Here