Today in “Silly Useless Petitions That Will Never Have Any Impact:” some young whippersnapper named Sven Armdacht has started a petition on Change.org for Ghost to break up.

This might be the silliest petition I’ve ever encountered: for one, the reasons Mr. Armdacht cites calling for Ghost’s break up are completely ridiculous (“Many people getting into metal think that they are the real deal and that we should forget the real bands like Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, etc.”) but moreso, does he think this petition — even if it reaches its stated goal of 10,000 signatures — will be capable of accomplishing its mission? Surely not — it’s likely a gag — but hey, he got at least one metal news to post about it.

Here’s the text:

We petition against Ghost of the heavy metal genre that continues to make albums and tour. Many people getting into metal think that they are the real deal and that we should forget the real bands like Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, etc. They wish to destroy real metal with their carnival music nonsense. Seriously, is a song like If You Have Ghost actually something that a real metalhead would listen to? They are not metal. People also make the erroneous claim that they are so directly inspired by King Diamond/Mercyful Fate, which is just wrong. They are, in fact, a watered-down version of BOC. We the people oppose Ghost continuing as a band, and they should be split up as soon as possible. To:

Ghost (band)

We have petitioned to get the band Ghost to split up. We do not believe that Ghost should continue to make music. Ghost has done so much damage to real metal, so we petition that the band Ghost and their management be split up.

Sincerely,

[Your name]

You can sign the petition here if you feel so inclined, joining the whopping 118 people who already have.