Lewinsky became public hate figure and 'very close' to attempting suicide

Pair then had affair and when scandal broke in 1998, Clinton denied it

Former White House intern told President Clinton 'I have a crush on you'

Monica Lewinsky has described the public humiliation she suffered after her affair with President Bill Clinton was exposed as 'excruciating', and said it brought her 'very close' to attempting suicide.



The 42-year-old former White House intern became a household name after her friend Linda Tripp secretly recorded conversations with Lewinsky discussing the affair and passed them on.

'That people could read the transcripts was horrific enough, but a few weeks later the audio tapes were aired on TV. The public humiliation was excruciating. Life was almost unbearable,' she told The Guardian.

Monica Lewinsky (pictured here at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party in Los Angeles in February 2016) has described the public humiliation she suffered after her affair with President Bill Clinton was exposed as 'excruciating', adding that it brought her 'very close' to attempting suicide

The Lewinsky scandal broke in 1998, when a news report emerged saying then-President Bill Clinton had an affair with Lewinsky, who started flirting with the president soon after her internship began.

One day she told him 'I have a crush on you' and he responded 'Well, do you want to come into the back office?'.

Other employees started to notice how much time the two spent together and she was transferred to the Pentagon, where she met Linda Tripp.

Bill Clinton, pictured with his wife Hillary shortly after the Lewinsky scandal broke in 1998, first denied allegations that he had an affair with Lewinsky He then admitted in August that year that he'd had an 'inappropriate' relationship with the former White House intern

Clinton first forcefully denied the allegations, saying in January that year in a public statement: 'I want to say one thing to the American people. I want you to listen to me ... I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.'

He eventually admitted in August 1998 to having an inappropriate relationship with Lewinsky.

'I know that my public comments and my silence about this matter gave a false impression. I misled people, including even my wife,' he said at the time. 'I deeply regret that.'

'Indeed I did have a relationship with Ms. Lewinsky that was not appropriate. In fact, it was wrong.

It constituted a critical lapse in judgment and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely and completely responsible.'

Speaking about when the scandal first broke, Lewinsky said: 'I felt like every layer of my skin and my identity were ripped off of me in ’98 and ’99.'

Clinton, pictured embracing Lewinsky at a White House lawn party in November 1996, was later impeached by the House of Representatives on two charges of perjury and obstruction of justice. The Senate acquitted him in February 1999

'It’s a skinning of sorts. You feel incredibly raw and frightened. But I also feel like the shame sticks to you like tar.'

She added that she never attempted suicide although 'came very close' and even worked out how she would do it.

Lewinsky faced hostility from every angle - from late-night talkshow host Jay Leno to feminist writer Nancy Friday.

Lewinsky, pictured in June 1998 with her lawyers Nathaniel Speights (left) and Jacobs Stein (right) in Washington, DC, said in her Vanity Fair article that she didn't want ill with the Clintons and wanted to give a purpose to her past

She recalls attending a press conference held a week before the launch of the 2002 HBO documentary, Monica In Black And White.

She said: 'A reporter told me he was surprised I’d agreed to take part in it. He said, "We expected you to crawl under a rock and die".

'Then he said, "I misspoke. I meant hide. Not die." But he did say die.'

She said she wanted to 'help other victims of the shame game survive, too' after experiencing it herself. Pictured, Lewinsky arriving at her attorney's office in 1998

When the affair was revealed, Lewinsky says her mother had to sit by her bed every night 'because she was worried about what I would do if I were left alone' and she wouldn't even let her daughter shower with the door locked.

In the years following the scandal, Lewinsky stayed out of the spotlight but she said that it became 'really hard to stay silent' on the issue of bullying.

She reemerged in the public eye 2014 in response to the suicide of Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi.

Clementi's roommate secretly filmed him kissing a man and streamed the video online, where he was relentlessly mocked.

After Clementi jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge, Lewinsky said it was her calling to speak out against cyberbullying.

Lewinsky told Forbes in 2014: 'Having survived myself, what I want to do now is help other victims of the shame game survive, too.'

Lewinsky's work as an anti-bullying advocate has helped her find purpose in life and fully move on from the story that has haunted her since she was 22

And its her work as an anti-bullying advocate that has helped her find purpose in life and fully move on from the story that has haunted her since she was 22.

Lewinsky says that while she used to be approached by people in the street because of the negative affair, they are now also showing interest in her charity work.

'I really think that I'm grateful to have this opportunity,' she said. 'Even though I have suffered from shame, I'm not ashamed of who I am.'

Lewinsky launches line of emojis

Lewinsky has released a new series of emojis to give teens an easy way to support their friends who are being cyberbullied.

In a video released just before World Safer Internet Day on February 9, Lewinsky alluded to her own experiences struggling with unwanted attention.

The video humorously alludes to Kim Kardashian's Paper Magazine cover and the release of her own line of 'kimojis' when the video was posted on YouTube with the tagline: 'It might not break the internet but it could fight cyberbullying.'

The emojis consist of either hearts or circles, with hands inside depicting a hug or a handshake.

Lewinsky said: 'This symbol means: "I'm with you", "Hang in there", "I got your back", "Sending a hug", "I'm still your friend."'

The teens who were surveyed confirmed that the emoji would be useful for them, and picked the two designs, available in a number of different color combinations.