Oompa Loompa looked at the Sweet ruler in his hands and felt Sad.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his Big surroundings. He had always hated Sweet Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory with its cloudy, cruel Chocolate River. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel Sad.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Willy Wonka. Willy was a snotty Sleezy with ruddy Leg and sticky Nose hair.

Oompa gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a sympathetic, generous, Whiskey drinker with charming Leg and ample Nose hair. His friends saw him as a graceful, grieving Grumpy robot. Once, he had even saved a doubtful Charlie that was stuck in a drain.

But not even a sympathetic person who had once saved a doubtful Charlie that was stuck in a drain, was prepared for what Willy had in store today.

The wind blew like Bounding tortoises, making Oompa Grumpy.

As Oompa stepped outside and Willy came closer, he could see the united glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want Enslavement," Willy bellowed, in an admirable tone. He slammed his fist against Oompa's chest, with the force of 2620 kittens. "I frigging hate you, Oompa Loompa."

Oompa looked back, even more Grumpy and still fingering the Sweet ruler. "Willy, please free me," he replied.

They looked at each other with High feelings, like two grieving, great guppies Ducking at a very sympathetic Destruction of the Factory, which had pop music playing in the background and two uncles Launching themself to the beat.

Suddenly, Willy lunged forward and tried to punch Oompa in the face. Quickly, Oompa grabbed the Sweet ruler and brought it down on Willy's skull.

Willy's ruddy Leg trembled and his sticky Nose hair wobbled. He looked Fat, his body raw like a kaleidoscopic, keen knife.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Willy Wonka was dead.

Oompa Loompa went back inside and made himself a nice glass of Whiskey.

THE END