Tasteful Ways “Downton Abbey” Could Show Breasts This Season

People think “Downton Abbey” is too classy to do nudity. But if done tastefully the show totally could. Here are some respectful topless scenes I thought up. I spent a long time on these!

William the footman mistakes Lady Sybil’s room for the Earl’s and walks in on Sybil changing for dinner. Her Ladyship, topless, gasps and covers herself. William apologizes profusely and backs out.

Matthew Crawley and Lady Mary are caught in a rainstorm and take shelter in a stable. Mary steps behind a wall and removes her top to dry. Through the wooden planks Matthew catches a glimpse of Mary’s breasts. They’re unreal.

Lady Edith storms into her parents’ room with an important message from London. Her dress is snagged on one of those old-fashioned metal hooks in the wall and it rips the entire front off and her boobs straight-up pour out. She’s so shocked she doesn’t even, like, try to cover herself.

Daisy accidentally starts a kitchen fire that burns all of Countess Cora’s shirts. Cora must spend the episode topless with her boobs totally exposed plus she’s super sweaty since the fire is a thing. And she can’t borrow anyone else’s shirt.

Ms. O'Brien stops Thomas outside his room. “Check this out,” she says, and pulls out a photograph of Gwen the housemaid sunbathing, utterly topless, just both jugs out there in the open. “Nice,” says Thomas. “Very nice.” They do a cool low-five.

Lady Roasmund confronts Anna about Rosamund’s missing broach. Indignant, Anna throws a mantle clock through the window, and a really strong breeze tears both their tops away, plus a bunch of other maids who were there cleaning stuff. So, basically, there’s like two dozen knockers visible and honestly: it’s friggin’ nuts. The Earl of Grantham and Mr. Carson enter, do a double take at the sight of all these hooters flopping all over the place, and break into excited air guitars.

All the women have to donate their tops to the War.