Inspired by a commenter, I have come up with an auto industry bailout plan. For years, we have been treated to the following comments:

A Republican congressman who said parts of Iraq are no more dangerous than Detroit is drawing criticism from the mayor’s office and the Michigan Democratic party. During an interview Monday with WILS-AM in Lansing, Rep. Tim Walberg, R-Tipton, said the returning troops he has talked with “indicate to me that 80 to 85 percent, in a conservative fashion, of (Iraq) is reasonably under control, at least as well as Detroit or Chicago or any of our other big cities. That’s an encouraging sign.”

And this:

Former state Assemblyman Howard Kaloogian is leading a group of about 20 people on a visit to Iraq next month in what he and his organization, Move America Forward, call a “Truth Tour.” “We want to get a firsthand account and look at the progress being made over there,” the 45-year-old conservative Republican said in a telephone interview from Michigan where he was on business. “You never hear about the good news from Iraq.” *** “The impression most people have on the streets of San Diego is that car bombs are the norm when in fact they aren’t,” Kaloogian said. “Detroit is arguably a more dangerous place than Iraq.”

Rep. Steve King (R-IA) was even dedicated enough to run the numbers:

Using Pentagon statistics cross-checked with independent research, King said he came up with an annualized Iraqi civilian death rate of 27.51 per 100,000. While that number sounds high – astonishingly, the Iowa Republican discovered that it’s significantly lower than a number of major American cities, including the nation’s capital. “It’s 45 violent deaths per 100,000 in Washington, D.C.,” King told Crowley. Other American cities with higher violent civilian death rates than Iraq include: Detroit – 41.8 per 100,000 Baltimore – 37.7 per 100,000 Atlanta – 34.9 per 100,000 St. Louis – 31.4 per 100,000

Additionally, I am aware that Michigan has a ginormous Muslim population and has almost instituted Sharia Law. I think you can understand what needs to be done.

We need to invade Michigan and rebuild the state from the ground up. We will be greeted as liberators, we have clear supply lines, and we can easily rebuild the auto industry with the kind of money we spend on other countries we invade. Hell, our new Secretary of State, Hillary of Clinton, spent the better part of the past year fighting for the rights of average folks from Michigan, so think of the good will we have with the public. This is very doable. Just tell Congress we will give KBR no-bid contracts to fix Detroit.

And citizens of Baltimore, Altanta, St. Louis, and DC- you better get your shit together or you are next.

*** Update ***

This plan is picking up support rapidly, and we have unearthed another bonus to earn GOP support: