Telstra and NBN Co have announced a new merger designed to fix the NBN's problems, bringing forth Telstra's formidable expertise with the NBN's imprimatur of government to finally get the job done once and for all.

Update: This story now clearly marked as an April Fools Day story. It is not true, or at least, not yet. Original story continues:

With NBN Co the subject of multiple investigations, and having fallen far behind schedule in its goal of delivering super high speed Internet access, Australia's Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has decided his latest move is to merge Telstra and NBN Co.

Announced at Telstra's Exchange blog and at the NBN Co home page, which is headlined "Australia, we've listened and we're taking action", the new entity will merge by 30 June 2018, and will thenceforth be renamed the NTN Co – the National Telstra Network.

Turnbull's vaunted MTM, which was once derided as Malcolm Turnbull's Mistake, or Malcolm Turnbull's Mess, is going to redefine FttN as the network everyone hoped for, but with true fibre for all with all new installations from 2019 so as to allow current contracts to be completed.

From 2020, all previous FttN or Fibre-to-the-Node connections will be upgraded to FttP, but the name FttN will remain, redefined as "Fibre to the Nerds".

The news comes as a shock, given Malcolm Turnbull's failed 2016 pre-election attempt to turn the NBN into a full FttP solution, which Federal Communications Minister Mitch Fifield failed to accomplish by being unable to garner full senatorial cross-bench support by the deadline at the time. It was dubbed an "Election Winner" but, much like Turnbull's prime ministership, sadly and unexpectedly turned out to be a dud.

Bill Shorten has not yet made comment this morning as he is no doubt finalising his response, but Federal Shadow Communications Minister Michelle Rowland has alerted the media, promising a full Labor response just before midday today, after which we'll all be April Fools.