Basically, privilege is unasked for and unearned. it’s not a bad thing in of itself..

I like to frame it as “shit x group doesn’t have to worry about in their every day existence, and may have a hard time grasping that x group has to put up with this shit"

The phrase "check your privilege” sticks in many peoples craws. What is actually meant is “hey, please don’t discredit this experience I have on a regular basis just because you have never seen or experienced it, would be nice if you could listen and take my word for it.”

Also, when it comes to people getting short shrift when asking trans* folks about the contents of their underpants is something that the asker may have only asked the askee’s particular group once. The askee has heard this shit SO MANY TIMES and it feels rude and invasive. (this is one example, and one given by a genderqueer friend of mine, who has recently resolved to say “I get asked that all the time, and I find it invasive and a bit rude, as do many of my trans* peers” because it’s easier to actually have a constructive conversation that way.

So when going into a social justice internet space, ask if they have an FAQ or have a good link to a 101 type space. if you run a social justice internet space, keep 101 links on hand for the “oh, this shit again” questions and maybe think of a good FAQ so the conversation doesn’t derail and animosity spews.

We as social justice activists are here to educate, and sometimes kneejerk “OFUCKYUO” isn’t helpful. To those new to these spaces, asking politely for basic 101 links and recognising the “questions most likely to derail” is more likely to produce a positive interaction. also, don’t be condescending or assume you know more about the topic than the posters who are regulars.

Snark can feel good, but sometimes it’s counterproductive, this goes for everyone, really.