Hillary will not get my vote. I take my vote very seriously and it has to be earned. As a lifelong feminist, I have always been in awe of those who got me to a place where my opinion matters -- the suffragettes who fought the male machine so long ago. What they did for me is so important, that I cannot let them down. Throughout my life, I felt their influence prodding me to delve into politics so that I could try to live up to their expectations of future generations of women. It wasn’t easy.

The circumstances of my life took me out of the protected monochromatic “white” world of ethnic groups in a melting pot of Catholicism and then pushed me past the fences into the world of “everyone”. By the time I was in high school in 1969, that world was in chaos.

The nun who taught me religion would join anti-war protests after school, the nightly news would give reports on the dead in Vietnam, women were allowed to take off their bras and girdles, there were race riots in certain parts of a nearby city, and music spoke to us of a universe that had no limits. I drank it in, experienced it, used it, and built on it.

In 1974, I went into the Air Force as an airplane mechanic. Not only did I have to learn how the tools and airplane systems worked, I had to learn how to live in a world previously suited only to men — and many of those men hated me just because my body parts were different. I have hundreds of stories about this struggle — my successes and failures — but it is too much to tell here. But, there is something specific that I want to point out — “solidarity” is not just a tag word to put on posters. It describes a very real human need in civilizations big and small. My feelings of ‘solidarity’ go far beyond my relationships with other women. I can explain with a synopsis of how this evolved within me.

I had never felt real prejudice in my life before I enlisted in the Air Force. It was a shock to have people dismiss me. When Charlotte Whitton said, "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good," I knew what she was talking about because I felt that every day of my military service. But she added, “Luckily, this is not difficult,” and here I disagreed. I don’t know if she realized that in some jobs, it was very difficult to ‘prove yourself’ as a woman to be even a fraction as good. At the time, there were many men who would dismiss any herculean feat by a woman as inferior. This constant ‘intellectual’ battle, every day, wore me out more than the physical demands of the job. I just wanted it all to go away and let me just be a person: a mechanic, a mother, a lover.

So, it was not difficult to recognize the same struggle in others. When I heard stories of prejudice from my friends who were Hispanic or Black, I understood somewhat. Most of their stories were about places back home where ‘race relations’ classes weren’t mandated by generals. In the military, racial acceptance had been required for decades. For women, it had only just begun. But, at the end of the day, at the end of my service, I could wash away the grease and hydraulic fluid and blend back in. They would have to wear their color wherever they went. I cannot imagine how many battles they endured as their life continued.

While race relations were getting better, there was still one group that was considered heinous by the military — gays were not accepted at all. There was a man that I had worked with a few times. He was professional and kind. No one knew he was gay and, yet, he had served for more than 10 years. He outed himself in a race relations class while trying to point out the hypocrisy of preaching tolerance and at the same time gays were ‘inferior’. I spoke to him afterwards; he was being escorted by two armed guards through the building to gather a few of his things before being tossed out of the Air Force. He still had courage. He still had hope. And he would never back down on his commitment to making the world a better place for ALL people. Just knowing him gave me strength.

Ya know, people seem to think that “Feminism” is just about being female, but, it is so much more when one is living it. A slight to one person becomes a slight to all of us who at one time or another are abused by an oppressive system. Do they think we’ll be okay with prejudice when it isn’t directed at ‘us’? No way. In the lingo of my youth, “Man, that ain’t cool! It just ain’t cool!”

During the Bill Clinton years, we were constantly told to be happy with what we had in him — after all, he had republicans to deal with — be very afraid! When that safety net of welfare was being decimated and the prison population began to grow, and healthcare became a non-issue, I thought, “Something’s wrong here.” Then, when I had to constantly defend Bill’s womanizing and Hillary’s dismissal of the victims, it hurt me deep inside. And when “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” was passed, I thought, “This would not have saved my friend.”

At the time, I had fallen for the Democratic way of getting my vote by saying, “Vote for us because we’re not as bad as THEM,” and I voted for “D” faithfully. But it was wearing on me. I didn’t make them earn my vote. So the democrats got weaker and weaker. The “D” politicians and establishment began to hide behind the fact that nothing could ever progress because of “scary republicans”. They took solace in the cover. They used it. They welcomed it.

When Bush and Cheney were building up the case for war, some of us were actually paying attention. I was horrified at the inevitable blood bath that my children would be growing into. I was horrified for the people in the Middle East who would have to live with the consequences. I was appalled at the lack of discussion on the impact of war on the planet. I remember thinking that surely there are enough smart, educated democrats who will not let this stand.

Much of the case for war showed that the evidence against Iraq was being trumped up by the administration. If Bernie could see that, and WE could see that, why couldn’t Hillary? Was she lazy? Was she stupid? Or did she just not care? To me, there was NO reason in the world that ANY senator would not jump up and SCREAM that absolutely this is all BULLSHIT and I’m not voting for the AUMF 2002 authorizing war against Iraq! Instead, Bernie was one of the few faces on the evening news who was cautioning against the haphazard bomb-fest. You know what I’m talking about: that government-funded-corporate takeover of the oil fields in Iraq while Bush watched the shock-and-awe attacks like a tweener playing video games because we had to get Saddam Hussein who started 9/11 (well, maybe not so much). I was deeply pissed off at the ‘lack of spine’ in the democrats who didn’t want to ‘look weak’ because of their careers.

The images of Bernie Sanders on the television overlaid the long-ago images still pressed into my mind of the B-52’s dropping bombs in a foreign place and the C141’s bringing the bodies home from Vietnam. When I would see Bernie always saying ‘truth to power’ about these things, I thought, “Why doesn’t someone like him run for president?”

Sometimes I feel alone in my beliefs. Even here on Dailykos where I can find like-minded people, I sometimes still feel alien when the flames begin. But, I’m still paying attention — and I see that I’m not only ‘not alone’, but there is a multitude that feels the same way. And it’s growing everyday.

Wow! Millions of people standing up for those of us whose voices haven’t mattered since the 60’s (if even then). Maybe it’s because so many more of us are marginalized and feeling the need for solidarity. We are all on this planet together.

Yes, we have made incremental movements in all of the progressive issues. But I have grown more impatient through the decades. My patience is worn thin. I want it all. I want us to take on the powerful, the moneyed interests, those who want to keep some of us at the bottom, and the intolerant. I want us ALL to be lifted, to have a voice, to have opportunities.

One of the things that was said to me over and over again during my time in the service: “You just have to be patient for these changes. It doesn’t happen quickly.” At that time, I thought that if we had a woman president, that at least it would become easier for women. And then Margaret Thatcher proved that powerful women can be equally as stupid as powerful men. We must consider a woman individually the same as we consider the individual man. (Voting for a woman just because she is a woman is just as sexist as voting for a man just because he is a man.)

Maybe it will still be in incremental movements, but I want them to be BIGGER increments. I want to know that my children and grandchildren will have not only a better world — but one where their concerns are heard, their worries allayed, and the ability to march into progress with satisfaction.

There is only one candidate that can lead us there — Bernie! He has been pushing these issue for his entire life. He didn’t spend his time getting billions of dollars from corporations and foreign countries like some others. He has spent his life championing the downtrodden.

I will not vote for Hillary Clinton.

The 60’s were just a warm up. The political revolution is now. We may never get another chance.

I (seriously) could write a book on why I won’t vote for Hillary. But this will have to do.

Note: Thank you to One Pissed Off Liberal who allowed me to ‘borrow’ his images.

[UPDATE] The writer of this piece is NOT Susan Sarandon. (My apologies, Susan, for readers who have attributed this diary to you. I used your image because it seemed like a fitting introduction to the narrative.) My name, Cato come back, is at the top of the page following the word “by”.