Michael J. Matheron, November 8, 2018

Today, following the historic rout of the entire Democratic delegation of the House and Senate in the midterm elections last night, Donald Trump, Jr. admitted that approximately (still, “approximately”) fourteen hundred persons and bankers, including twelve Muppets, the cast of Cats, and one Disney Autonomatronic character attended his notorious June 2016 meeting. Expecting to receive damning information about Hillary Clinton from a Russian government lawyer with the Kremlin’s blessing, Junior Donald didn’t merely like the idea as he wrote in his reply to Rob Goldstone, the meeting go-between. He told me, “I actually loved the idea!” Although he continues to maintain that he misread the original email, thinking it an invitation for a spot on a bowling team, he has loosened up about just how many people attended the meeting and who they were. “Look, with an entirely Republican Congress nobody can touch me.”

Speaking from his office in Trump Towers where he is under office arrest pending trial with eighty-eight other Trumpsters (and still counting), he revealed today that dozens of top Russian generals from all Russian Federation armed forces’ contingents were at the meeting too. Previously, he had indicated that scores of retired KGB agents, now active FSB agents, attended as well. “Who can stop them. They’re spooks,” he observed, sensibly, I thought. He also revealed to this reporter that the famous Russian actor, Gerard Depardieu, delighted the crowd with his enormous size, taking up more than seven seats. How enormous? Chris Christie sat on his lap. Finally, he admitted that Madison Square Garden was the site of the meeting. “Do you really think approximately fifteen hundred attendees could fit in my admittedly spacious office?” I thought, “There’s that ‘approximately’ again, now boosted from fourteen to fifteen hundred. What is the actual capacity of MSG?”

These new revelations add to his difficulty pleading memory loss and flatulence as his best defenses in his upcoming trial. He continues to test out different defenses going to and from insanity to “superly sane.” If it seems self-defeating, according to Junior Donald, it is. “Self-defeat can’t be beaten in the Trump family. Or is that all too real for you?” I was mesmerized into stupor, even deeper than my customary stupor when gathering news. He went on,

“It’s a catch-22, you dimwit. I was insane to hold such a meeting. I asked my brother-in-law Jared – I didn’t know then he was a Disney character – and I said that only an insane person would take that meeting. He agreed but said that since I’d surmised correctly that I was insane to do an insane thing, I was “actually sane to understand this, and therefore I had to do so, being sane as I was. QED. You’ve got no choice,” he said, “It’s for the campaign.” I said, “That’s some catch.” He said, “It’s the best there is. You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

And I believe him.

Please follow and like us:

Related