Rahul Gandhi merely fell asleep, or at least, appeared to fall asleep in the midst of a heated discussion in Parliament over price rise.

You might have thought that Rahul Gandhi has already done the unthinkable. Not only did he do to his own party what Germany later did to Brazil in this World Cup's most mind-boggling semi-final. He then added insult to injury by grinning his way through the now infamous press conference with his mother, Sonia -- leaving the world to offer colourful reasons for the young scion's inexplicable good mood. However, with the advent of the much hyped 'acche din', Rahul-spotting became scarce, leaving the Pappu joke industry forlorn.

But not for long. Our boy isn't one to disappoint -- at least in this aspect. This time his sin was less significant -- as in, it didn't involve jeopardising the very existence of the nation's oldest party. Rahul Gandhi merely fell asleep, or at least, appeared to fall asleep in the midst of a heated discussion in Parliament over price rise.

Times of India summarised the course of events with required detail:

"Rahul, who has been battling the perception of fitful engagement with politics, was present in the House right from the start of the discussion. However, by the time the second speaker, P Karunakaran of CPM, started his argument, he was seen yawning, his eyelids appeared to droop and his head flopped -- all actions associated with a disinterested listener drifting off to sleep. Since Rahul's catnap lasted barely a few seconds, it escaped the notice of most members but was captured by Lok Sabha cameras. In fact, Rahul's placement right behind Karunakaran ensured that they appeared in the same frame as the Kerala leader put forth his arguments on price rise."

He did thump the table, with his eyes closed, probably hinting that he was awake. But us Indians, who have travelled in trains and braved mosquitoes, know we can swat them in our sleep.

In any case, this small act led to the usual Twitter frenzy about Rahul's 'fitful engagement' aka Pappu-ness. But just maybe this time around, he doesn't really deserve it. Sleeping in the Parliament (if that's what he was doing), is hardly a crime compared to all that India's citadel of democracy has witnessed in the past. Here are three instances which should make sleeping Rahul seem like quite the beauty in comparison!

The Pepper Spray Mafia

While Meera Kumar chanting 'baith jaiyee' spawned a stream of Twitter jokes, you had to be a Tywin Lannister to not feel pity for her in the last session of the Parliament.

Seemandhra MPs, protesting the formation of a separate Telangana state, turned the House floor into a war zone that made the average TV news 'debate' seem as pleasant as Chitrahaar. While most were content to restrain themselves to childish forms of protest such as tearing up paper, one MP Lagadapati Rajagopal, decided to up the ante and the weapon power. So, out came the pepper-spray and lo, the Congress suffered more burns than any damaad joke could ever achieve.

While the business of the Indian parliament doesn't usually grab too many eye-balls outside India, this particular incident has the global media's attention immediately. Though later Rajagopal defended his move by saying he used pepper spray in self defence, it was widely acknowledged that he had actually used the spray to stop the Telangana Bill from being tabled.

Of course, all this confirmed what we already know, ie. we possibly take the idea of voting our favourite Bigg Boss candidate more seriously than choosing our MP.Because evidently the best person to represent us in Lok Sabha is a guy who thinks pepper spray is a valid way of registering protest against a constitutional process like passing a bill. Imagine going up to the same guy to complain that there's not enough electricity in your constituency.

Porno time!



Now most of us would indeed doze off if by some cruel joke of fate we had to endure a parliamentary session. When our elected representatives are not busy threatening mayhem, they are delivering long winding lectures that test your patience more than the Mumbai traffic. So, back in 2012, three enterprising BJP MLAs in Karnataka Assembly came up with this clever idea to stay alert and fresh - watching pornographic clips on their phones.

Now, what's wrong with feeling a little frisky? And how can you blame them? In a political atmosphere of toxic enmity and double-dealing, what do you need to restore your faith in human goodness - of course a porn clip! When you are surrounded by constant invective and shrieking, the unconditional (and often inexplicable) love that the characters in a porn clip feel towards each other and even inanimate objects is enough to convince you that humanity still has hope.

After all, pornography, like democracy, promises to never discriminate on the basis of caste, class, sex, age, profession, right?

The great Indian misogynist chauvinists' party

A few weeks after a young girl died in Delhi, raped and brutalised by five men on bus, the Indian Parliament took to debating a bill meant to boost safety for women in the country. What came up in the process was almost as shocking as the crime itself.

There was JD(U) MP Sharad Yadav complaining that making stalking an offence will kill the spirit of romance among India.

"When you watch Sheila ki jawaani or Munni with her Zandu Balm what goes on in your mind...?" Yadav had said teasingly, adding, "So what, we are all men after all! His colleague Shailendra Kumar added that women, in their 'galat' clothes, were the ones who should be blamed for all the ills in this world.

"Ajkal desh mein pehnawa itna galat ho gaya hai, ki kya bolun (These days the sense of dressing has become so wrong, what to say)?" Kumar had said. Then came Sumitra Mahajan, our present speaker and then a BJP MP, who wondered aloud what the government is trying to do by airing condom ads on TV? "These dirty spray ads, condom ads, they put such negative thoughts in people's minds," she said.

Most women watching possibly wondered if they were better off with Pramod Muthalik making laws for them than these specimens acting out a less goodlooking version of Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi. Actually, a lot of Bhojpuri item numbers would seen feminist compared the content of the anti-rape bill discussion in the parliament.

So there we are: pepper spray, porn, misogyny. Surely, getting a little shut-eye is downright parliamentary in comparison.