Denver Broncos General Manager and Hall of Fame QB John Elway announced that he will come out of retirement to replace the woefully inept Peyton Manning, effective immediately.

While the Broncos have started the season 6-0, Peyton Manning has made the worst start to a season since his 1998 rookie campaign – throwing 7 touchdowns to 10 interceptions. Elway indicated that an immediate change was needed.

“I love Peyton to death but his arm is deader than a dodo, it’s plain for all to see. That is why I would like to officially announce my unretirement from the sport. I will replace Peyton in our game against the Packers and we will see how it goes from there,” said Elway at a press conference this morning.

There have been some whispers that Elway has planned taking over the quarterback spot for some time, using Manning as an avatar while he built a team around him. Elway called those accusations “preposterous”.



“I’m actually more use to this offense than Peyton is so it shouldn’t take me long to get acclimated. We have the best defense in the NFL, the run game is finally starting to get going, we just need a QB with a big arm to gun us to a Super Bowl. I’m the man for the job.” Elway went on to confirm that he would remain the team’s GM whilst also starting at QB. “Maybe we should change the team name to the Denver Elways? Ha! Just joking…but maybe not.”

Peyton Manning spoke to reporters and admitted he was disappointed but understood the decision.

“Maybe it’s time to follow my arm into retirement. My balls are wobblier than ever – maybe it’s time to walk away.”

Meanwhile third-string QB Brock Osweiler was believed to have drowned his sorrows over not getting the starting gig at a nightclub with fellow QB Johnny Manziel.