Study: Most Teens Who Respond to Acne Treatment Still Ugly

A new study has shown that most teens whose complexions are cleared up by any of the dozens of acne treatments currently on the market remain physically unattractive afterward.

Conducted by an independent acne research firm, the study found that 85% of the small minority of subjects between the ages of 13 and 19 who actually responded positively to acne medication were still ugly once their pimples were gone.

"Upon examining hundreds of teenagers, it is our conclusion that most of them are nothing much to look at," the study's Principal Investigator Dr. Thomas Jefferies remarked. "The fact is that 90% of teens who have suffered from acne are simply undatable - pimples or not."

"Most kids are just ugly," Jefferies added.

Meanwhile, Professor of Theology at Liberty University Matthew Sweeney posited that the study is further proof that God exists.

"There is a God, and he is a vengeful and mean God," Sweeney argued. "A person's teenage years are a cross to be burdened - a time of great suffering from which there is no escape."