I had a lovely letter from a man who I now know lives in my homelands! No gonewild pics.... yet. The box was filled with packing peanuts (success, I can eat them when food runs out!).

Surrounded by these foamy shapes, were the following (awesome) items:

A water expandable pole dancer (I actually know many pole dancers, they will love this!)

A tardis mug with lid (I spill tea/coffee/water/piss over myself all the time when drinking, so this is a huge boon!)

A £50 notes door wedge (finally, I can convince people that I am not a peasant sheep farmer from Wales!)

I now know (sorta) the identity of my secret santa, and I think that I have gained at least a great acquaintance. Perhaps this relationship is destined for more, it just depends how fast my PI finds his location. Or if the hitman finds him first. I don't know why I sent both, I just hoped that competition might drive their searches forward.

Now, I must have a bath with my pole dancer ;)