101 days ago I officially quit drinking! The last week or so as I realized I was approaching triple digits on complete sobriety I’ve been reflecting a lot on what’s been going on in my life during this time! At 8 this morning I woke up for the 101st consecutive time with no alcohol in my system! I know to some of you good people reading this it doesn’t seem like much! But I’ve learned more and more we all have our own demons and kicking the one that haunts yous butt for that many strait days is a big deal!

I don’t care if you’re a drunk, a sex addict, a smoker, abusive, a cutter, or anything else! It honestly does not male a bit of difference to me! We all have our demons that we turn to or away from, we just choose what to do! Crap of you tell me church was a habbit that was separating you from God and you’ve been church free for quite some time I will tell you congratulations! Overcoming all these things is something we all have to do at some point or we lose!

Now the point of this post isn’t to brag about this sobriety what-so-ever! What I really want to talk about is how conquering demons and doing all the right things does NOT typically make everything alright! Like I said I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s been going on for me the last 100 days! Brace yourself because you might be surprised for just a minute! I make these posts and people assume I’m just happy go lucky moving on with life but not so! Here’s a few things I’ve touched on but not went into a lot of detail about in my life, when I’ve been doing things “right!”

I’m going to just start naming some things in no particular order but all pretty rough! I learned because of my past trouble I won’t have a license for a year among other things that aren’t a lot of fun to have to do! The reconciliation that happened between my ex-fiancé and myself was built on some shaky ground. It didn’t take to terribly long to realize we weren’t getting back together despite how it seemed! She made the decision for us both that it was time to move past “us” and see what is out there! I lost a job I made good money at and pretty much did whatever I wanted to! I was forced to remember the death of my best friend! Schedules have caused friends to drift farther and farther away! The idea of leaving everything here behind and disappearing has crossed my mind! My childhood cat finally died at what seems like 37 years old! People have chose to speak bad about me because of what I used to do!

Here’s the point of that last paragraph, life just really sucks sometimes! No matter how much good karma you are sending out into the world bad crap happens! The first time I went to AA I was baffled by the fact that you don’t achieve anything past today! You hear people say they live for the moment and blahblahblah but until recently these ideas were a concept I could not accept! The future is going to come so how do you just not worry about it? One of my favorite quotes I came across not too long ago is from Willie Nelson:

So simple yet so extremely true! That’s what I want to get across right now! Life is not perfect despite conquering the worst parts! Ya know I can’t be 100% sure the demons ever are completely gone either! There are a number of things that could have led me to drink again but I didn’t really have a desire to! But there are times, as I pass the 2 bars within 1/2 a mile of my house, that for just a split second I think what would it hurt to go have a beer!?! Well I know it would hurt a lot and I can’t do it but that’s what support systems and God is for! No matter what your struggle is times are going to come where it seems to big to lean on yourself! Call someone, 50 Cent said death must be easy cuz life is hard…how true is that? Totally true for me and I know returning to drinking is my death!

Alright that’s about all I have for today! I’m going to try to get back to posting a little more often but give me a break it was my first week of college in 7 years! I look forward to hearing from some of you about the struggles you have! Just know I’m available if you need someone, my email address is right there to the side! Have a great evening and I will see ya next time!

In His Name

Chris