In 2004, a group of teenagers from Franklin, Tenn. burst onto the pop punk/emo scene as Paramore. Led by the undeniable charisma and vocal prowess of frontwoman Hayley Williams, the group hit the road hard and went from success to success, before hitting dangerous lows that threatened to end the band. Still, they powered on, and their fifth album After Laughter (which dropped on Friday) is a perfect testament to their life stories of sticking together through thick and thin and facing the realities of growing up.

Paramore’s debut All We Know Is Falling was released in 2005. It’s a snapshot of a young band in happier times cutting their teeth on the Vans Warped Tour scene. Their real breakout was 2007’s RIOT! which yielded hits such as “Misery Business” and “That’s What You Get." With the official addition of childhood friend and longtime session guitarist Taylor York to the line-up, their third studio album brand new eyes in 2009 cemented their position as one of the world’s biggest music acts.

However, success took its toll. Several world tours and millions in sales strained long-term friendships. Fan speculation of inner turmoil was confirmed in 2010 with the controversial departure of founding members (and brothers) Josh Farro (guitars and vocals) and Zac Farro (drums). Williams, York, and bassist Jeremy Davis defiantly continued and reinvented themselves as a three-piece group, stepping further and further away from their pop-punk roots. The resulting self-titled album was critically acclaimed and even earned them a Grammy. (Davis has since quit the band amidst a dramatic legal battle. They settled one day before the latest album’s release.)

As the band faced the realities of growing up and the rising pressures of fame, After Laughter became an important outlet at a time when Paramore almost came to a grinding halt. The entirety of After Laughter sees Williams wrestling with the grim realities of life experience versus the youthful optimism she used to be known for.

Album opener and first single “Hard Times” is a summary of the album’s central thesis. The dark lyrics about facing hard times in life are deliberately juxtaposed with upbeat rhythms and jangling guitar riffs strongly rooted in a neon ‘80s vibe (the band have cited influences as varied as afrobeat music, Duran Duran, The Beach Boys, The Smiths, and The Cure for this album).

Hard times, gonna make you wonder why you even try

Hard times, gonna take you down and laugh when you cry

These lives and I still don’t know how I even survive

In their BBC 1 interview with Zane Lowe, Paramore discussed the history of the band and how each album is an important capture of their lives at the time. After more than a decade of band breakups and intense album/touring cycles, Williams says they desperately needed to take time off. “We shut down the whole machine because we needed it,” she says. “I think in some ways it let out some demons.”

In efforts to prove herself as a professional musician after the Farros' departure, Williams admits that she probably had a difficult time facing reality; she was more prone to pretending everything was fine. This feeling reveals itself on tracks like “Rose-Colored Boy” and “Fake Happy”:

And if I go out tonight, dress up my fears

You think I look alright with these mascara tears?

See, I’m gonna draw up my lipstick wider than my mouth

And if the lights are low they’ll never see me frown

The album also addresses anxiety and depression Williams experienced in the wake of personal turmoil concerning, among other things, fan worship (particularly intensified with the spread of social media). This comes to a head on “Idle Worship” where she implores listeners to stop putting the band on a pedestal and look beyond their public personas:

Be sure to put your faith in something more

I’m just a girl and you’re not as alone as you feel

We all got problems, don’t we?

We all need heroes, don’t we?

But rest assured, there’s not a single person here who’s worthy

Her assertive attitude here contrasts with her playful tone on “crushcrushcrush," a track from Riot! that also addresses unhealthy fan obsession.

Struggling with this identity crisis and embracing negative feelings in their lyrics stands in stark contrast to the band’s earlier work. The opening track on Riot! is titled “For A Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic” and even if they asserted they were in “the business of misery,” they always portrayed a positive outlook. In the face of enemies and hardships on “Let The Flames Begin,” Williams even declared:

This is how we dance when

When they try to take us down

This is how we’ll sing, oh

brand new eyes was released at the height of band tensions. Williams began writing lyrics which Josh Farro disagreed with (e.g. “Ignorance” and “Playing God”), and Farro felt the band was becoming a mere commodity for the industry.

Still, they managed to capture moments of levity, celebrating their unity and touring lifestyle on “Where The Lines Overlap" and “Looking Up”:

God knows the world doesn’t need another band

But what a waste it would’ve been

I can’t believe we almost hung it up

We’re just getting started

Ironically, this plays directly into the idea of being “fake happy,” as the Farro brothers quit the band straight after the tour cycle was over. (Williams did admit that the song was made in a very brief moment when everything actually was ok). Paramore fans rejoiced in late 2016 with the announcement of Zac’s return. He told Lowe that leaving Paramore left him feeling identity-less for a while, allowing him to pursue personal projects; he retreated to New Zealand for a few years, and worked on smaller scale projects such as Halfnoise and The Ember Days. He doesn’t regret his decision but also said he tended to dream sometimes about returning to the band. He was only all too eager to agree when York called him up.

The band’s continued reinvention was a matter of necessity as much as artistic choice (York describes early demos as trying to emulate Josh Farro’s songwriting style, before he changed tactic to basically trying to badly rip off Tame Impala).

Reduced to a songwriting core of just Williams and York, Hayley admits that she almost pulled the plug. “I was kind of flatlined, and I think if it weren’t for Taylor, the band would be over… I was tired of losing friends, tired of doubting myself,” she told Zane Lowe. “Maybe if I’m not doing it at all, I wouldn’t have anything to doubt.”

Their reunion means there is still some hope found in Paramore’s music. Despite the hardships, there’s always a light to be found. This started as a roaring flame on “Let The Flames Begin,” to a smaller spark on “Part II”:

Still there are darkened places deep in my heart

Where once was blazing light, now

There’s a tiny spark

Said “tiny spark” is now a fading, yet sacred, light, as she responds to herself again on “Idle Worship”:

Remember how we used to like ourselves?

What little light that’s left, we need to keep it sacred

I know that you’re afraid to let all the dark escape you

But we can let the light illuminate these hopeless places

As Hayley and Taylor relocated back home to Nashville for some much needed R&R, they had to reconcile themselves with running into old friends around town, Josh and Zac included. This began the healing process to the point where now, Williams explains they are finally at a peaceful place as friends and as musicians—even if there are still plenty of things to work through.

“I think you rarely get to experience real full-circle redemption in your lifetime, on your own, in your own kind of solitude, but I think to be able to share that moment with Taylor and this thing that really affected both of our lives, and affected Zac’s life too, and to have closure it was so great,” she told Zane Lowe. “It was really beautiful.”

This blending of the positive and the negative is also expressed on tracks like “Forgiveness” and “Grudges." As the band approaches their 30s, the concept of growing up is also explored, a common theme in Paramore’s music. The balance between light and dark when getting older is expressed on “Caught In The Middle” and “26.” Williams cites the transition into adulthood as a tough one; she explains how she found it helpful to role play speaking with her younger self to help her go through hard times today:

I can’t think of getting old

It only makes me want to die

And I can’t think of who I was

‘Cause it just makes me want to cry, cry, cry, cry

Gaining this perspective and reflecting on their past comes through most vividly on the experimental track “No Friend.” Featuring the stirring poetry of ​mewithoutYou frontman Aaron Weiss (Williams is good friends with the post-hardcore band), the track drops a plethora of references from across their whole back-catalog to explore their bittersweet story and the dualities of music and real life, and of fame and reality.

Combining all their positive and negative life experiences—and their sometimes brutal honesty—has always been one of Paramore’s strengths. They’re not just musicians looking to make a quick buck, but earnest friends trying to figure out their roles both on stage and in life. After Laughter is an eye-opening chapter in a story of a group of friends learning to embrace darkness in their lives, while simultaneously celebrating the chance to do it at all.

You can read all the lyrics to After Laughter on Genius now.