A wife walks outside and sees her husband spraying the front yard.

Wife: I don’t even know what you’re doing, but I know I wouldn’t approve.

Husband: Let’s just say that no dog is ever going to crap on our lawn again.

Wife: Oh god, what are you spraying?

Husband: Nothing, go back inside. And tell the kids they can only play in the back yard from now on.

Wife: What the hell are you spraying?!

Husband: It’s just a little rat poison.

Wife: Are you serious? Rat poison?

Husband: A little rat poison. There’s a difference.

Wife: A little rat poison can kill a dog.

Husband: Hey, you crap on my yard. I crap death on your dog’s face.

Wife: What are you even saying? You’re trying to poison dogs. Dogs!

Husband: I’ve been pushed too far! A man has his limits!

Wife: Idiot, you’re going to kill all the grass!

Husband: No yard looks as good as vengeance feels!

Wife: Who are you?!

15 minutes later.

Daughter: Mom! Dad! Come look! There’s a bunch of squirrels sleeping in the font yard.

Wife: Do you want to apologize to me before or after cleaning up squirrel corpses?

Husband: Fuck.