WASHINGTON—Noting that the resignation of James Mattis as Secretary of Defense marked the ouster of the third top administration official in less than three weeks, a worried populace told reporters Friday that it was unsure how many former Trump staffers it could safely reabsorb. “Jesus, we can’t just take back these assholes all at once—we need time to process one before we get the next,” said 53-year-old Gregory Birch of Naperville, IL echoing the concerns of 323 million Americans in also noting that the country was only now truly beginning to reintegrate former national security advisor Michael Flynn. “This is just not sustainable. I’d say we can handle maybe one or two more former members of Trump’s inner circle over the remainder of the year, but that’s it. This country has its limits.” The U.S. populace confirmed that they could not handle all of these pieces of shit trying to rejoin society at once.

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