"I may not be a mom, but I completely understand that choice," I said.

Durst soon introduced me to Domino, who worked in the Sales & Marketing division of a Fortune 500 company prior to becoming a phone sex operator in 2010. We bonded immediately over our shared distaste for conventions such as billable hours and face time. From what Domino then described, the act of engaging strangers in sex talk seemed intimidating, but it also seemed doable from the comfort of my home. Far be it from me to spurn any method of earning an extra buck that will let me maintain my lifestyle.

***

On the morning of my phone sex operator debut as "Pussy Willow," I sat at my desk wearing the navy blue cotton shorts I've owned since college and one of my boyfriend's white V-neck tees, staring over my shoulder at the cable box's digital clock. It was 10:55am. Big Rick, the first to answer my ad in the adult section of backpage.com, was scheduled to call at 11:00am. Thanks to Google Voice, I'd set up a fake number that forwards calls to my cell automatically.

As I waited, I called to mind Domino's main advice: "Being a phone sex operator is like Russian roulette in that you never know what you're going to get. One client might want me to tell him to swallow his own semen because he's totally into humiliation, and an hour later I could be blowing up balloons for another guy." I've seen too much pornography and one too many episodes of National Geographic's Taboo to qualify as sheltered, but as I imagined the realm of possibilities, I grew more and more scared that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from cracking up.

I'd also backed myself up with a beginner-in-the-industry standard setup. I left a porno clip up on my computer screen so I could hit play and describe what I saw in case I ran out of ideas. To my left, my iPad displayed photos of a shirtless Brad Pitt to get me in the mood. Also within reach was my Naughty Quadrant -- an original reference chart scribbled on loose leaf -- including sections for Pet Names (Handsome, Stud, Sex God, Big Daddy, etc.), Dirty Adjectives (hard, pulsating, throbbing, wet, etc.), Dirty Verbs (lick, suck, spank, engulf, etc), and Body Parts (tits, balls, tongue, lips, etc.).

I looked from Brad to porn to cheat sheet, then practice my sexy voice, which, Domino instructed, should be softer and slower than usual. Remember to drawwww out your syllables, I told myself, because aside from a hilarious request, my greatest fear was that I'd tire of speaking so unnaturally.

When the phone finally rang, a whole new crop of concerns surfaced.

Was there a standard number of rings to allow before answering? How did I neglect to go over basic etiquette with Domino? And why am I dressed like this? It takes a special kind of idiot to wear a shirt she associates with her real-life lover while ushering a stranger toward climax.