San Franciscans have a toxic relationship with the city’s tourist traps.

Self-respecting residents would sooner post Instagram photos of their marital affair than have an image at Madame Tussauds San Francisco wax museum near Fisherman’s Wharf surface in a timeline.

There are approximately 4,415 restaurants in San Francisco. Ask yourself how many of them would have to close before you paid for a meal at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.?

(Trick question. There are still more than 100 grocery stores in the city.)

And yet … is it possible — in our combination of food snobbery, provincialism and ignorance to how much tourism actually fuels the local economy — we might be a little too hard on our most visitor-friendly destinations. And by not opening a San Francisco tourism guidebook, might we be missing out?

Don’t answer that.

Just read our collection of the Top 20 Tourists Traps We Like, nominated by Chronicle readers, with additional help from City Hall columnist Heather Knight and senior lifestyles editor Paolo Lucchesi.

And remember, Wednesday, Sept. 26, is Tourist Trap Day in San Francisco. We will be sharing the adventures of readers who visit a tourist trap they like. Use the hashtags #GetTrapped and #TotalSF on Twitter and Instagram. Also follow along with the live chat.

Japanese Tea Garden: San Francisco children may remember being in the Japanese Tea Garden and wishing they were across the street at the Steinhart Aquarium. But as we grow older, the meditative pleasures of a serene koi pond and Zen garden become more appreciated.

75 Hagiwara Tea Garden Drive. www.japaneseteagardensf.com

“Mrs. Doubtfire” house: What kind of real estate disclosures must be involved when you buy the home of the “Mrs. Doubtfire” clan in Pacific Heights?

When Robin Williams died in 2014, it became the unofficial mourning spot for fans. We don’t condone bothering the residents, or encourage creating added traffic in the neighborhood. But we love the fact that “Mrs. Doubtfire” has been accepted as a classic San Francisco movie and that people think of the comedian when they drive by his pretend movie house.

2640 Steiner St.

Boudin Bakery tour: When we chose Hard Rock Cafe for a recent tourist trap work lunch, it was like millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror on social media. “Boudin Bakery is a much better choice,” Eric Wooley wrote on Twitter.

Boudin has done a masterful job of mining every dollar possible out of tourists (including a popular Pier 39 bakery tour) while still maintaining its local credibility. It is the Willie Brown of gluten-heavy eateries.

Pier 39, Concourse #5-Q. https://boudinbakery.com

Subpar Miniature Golf Ghirardelli Square: The newest Tourist Trap We Like — an indoor mini-golf course with San Francisco landmark-themed holes — opened in June, although proprietor Mike Taft has been operating a clone in Alameda for about six years. It’s a fun, colorful entertainment center that was created by local artists.

Chronicle reader Carol Block recommended this new spot after visiting with her grandson. “We had the most fun and laughed a lot due to the famous S.F. spots at each of the 18 holes,” she said.

900 North Point St., Suite 52. https://subparminigolf.com

Cliff House: This used to be the most entertainment-packed corner of town, with Sutro Baths, the Cliff House and Playland-at-the-Beach. Now only the Cliff House, and the ghosts of roller coasters past, remain.

You’re paying for the view, which remains spectacular. And more than any other tourist trap on this list, the parking isn’t an unholy nightmare. (Still, be sure to lock your car doors and remove your valuables. Aren’t you reading Heather Knight’s columns?)

1090 Point Lobos Ave. https://cliffhouse.com

Camera Obscura: Nominated by reader Tim Molinare, this small building has a rotating mirror that reflects beautiful images down on a parabolic screen. It also costs just $3, has lovely views from outside the building, has that ease of Cliff House parking and features a collection of holographs. Perhaps the least-hated (or most-tolerated?) San Francisco tourist trap in history.

1096 Point Lobos Ave. www.giantcamera.com

Clift Hotel lobby: Several San Francisco hotels were nominated for Tourist Traps We Like, including the Fairmont (sort of included with our Tonga Room pick) and the San Francisco Marriott Marquis (fabulous views, but an atrocious addition to the skyline). We’re honoring the Clift Hotel lobby, for its modern elegance and selfie-friendly oversize furniture. As reader Zaida Rosario noted: “Everybody loves taking a pic next to the giant-sized Louis XIV chair.”

495 Geary St. www.sonesta.com/TheClift/San Francisco

Painted Ladies/”Full House” picnic spot: As much as traditional San Franciscans may not like it, the opening credits for the 1987 TV show “Full House” have become as strongly associated with San Francisco as the Bay Bridge or Telegraph Hill. Don’t fight it. Just visit Alamo Square as the Tanners did, spreading out a blanket in front of the Painted Ladies houses and eating something in a Corningware container. (Yes, the Tanners brought a gallon-sized Corningware to a picnic. We’ve combed the opening “Full House” credits like the Zapruder film.)

Steiner and Hayes streets, facing Alamo Park

Madame Tussauds San Francisco: With apologies to Ripley’s Believe It or Not! — the wax museum in San Francisco is the first thing that comes to mind when thinking “tourist traps to avoid.” So we were surprised when several readers defended it.

The wax figures are more modern and lifelike since Madame Tussauds took over several years ago. Figures run from international stars (William Shatner, E.T.) to local heroes (Steve Wozniak, Stephen Curry) and are very “approachable” — you can take photos with them. Tepid endorsement.

145 Jefferson St. #600. www.madametussauds.com

Top of the Mark: San Francisco is heavy on cheap T-shirt shops and fish restaurants for tourists but not great on city views. The two tallest buildings, the TransAmerica Pyramid and Salesforce Tower, don’t have public observation decks. (Sutro Tower was reportedly planning a restaurant at the top, but the plans were scuttled before it was built in the 1970s.) So Top of the Mark at the Mark Hopkins Hotel remains king.

“Top of the Mark is awesome and makes a sweet stop on a Cable Car Pub Crawl,” Ryan Edwards wrote on Twitter.

999 California St. www.intercontinentalmarkhopkins.com

Ghirardelli Square sundae: Maureen Kosewic of West Portal in San Francisco was the first to nominate the Ghirardelli sundae, which we agree is unimpeachable. Tourist trap or not, it’s still a giant ice cream sundae!

We also like the entertainment options that have emerged near Ghirardelli Square lately. Subpar and the Cartoon Art Museum are both a block away. Whether you’re a tourist or not, mini-golf, cartoon museum and a sundae is still a perfect day.

900 North Point St. www.ghirardellisq.com

Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Factory: The most non-corporate tourist destination in San Francisco is also one of the best. This Ross Alley fortune cookie shop lets visitors see how fortune cookies are made and sells the finished product. No one comes to San Francisco to see this landmark, but it’s a charming stop between the bigger-ticket items.

56 Ross Alley. www.sanfranciscochinatown.com

The Beat Museum: Located across from City Lights Bookstore is an interesting place to spend half an afternoon learning about Beat Generation history, from people dedicated to the contents of their small museum in North Beach. They have an excellent event schedule — recently celebrating Ruth Weiss and the women of the Beat Generation — and a reasonable $8 general admission.

540 Broadway. www.kerouac.com

Musee Mecanique: The Musee Mecanique at Pier 45 has more San Francisco credibility than just about any other business east of the City Lights Book Store. It’s independently owned, has an incredible collection of ancient arcade games (with ties to San Francisco amusement centers of yesteryear Sutro Baths and Playland), and proprietor Dan Zelinsky has been on roller skates wearing an “I WORK HERE” pin since Jimmy Carter was in office.

Pier 45, Fisherman’s Wharf. www.museemecaniquesf.com

Rocket Boats: This 30-minute speedboat spin across San Francisco Bay was the surprise pick from Chronicle subscribers, with listeners of “The Big Event” podcast coming especially strong.

The most enthusiastic Rocket Boat love came from SF Concierge on Twitter:

The Rocket Boat ! 🚤🔥🔥🔥🔥We go every year on my bday- nothing more hilarious & fun than speeding & doing donuts in the Bay while blasting 80s hair band music. 😂😎#TouristTrapSF — SF Concierge (@SFConcierge) August 18, 2018

Mary Ladd added that her son didn’t look at his phone once during a recent Rocket Boat excursion. Added cosmetic bonus: “The Rocket Boat led to amazingly soft skin,” Ladd said. “Who knew?”

Located in Pier 39. www.blueandgoldfleet.com

Top 5 Tourist Traps We Like

5. Buena Vista Irish coffee: A tourist trap by nature of its location (next door to San Francisco Segway Tours, perhaps the most touristy four words ever typed) and its inclusion in every San Francisco guidebook for most of the past century. But the Buena Vista bar and restaurant, around since 1916, is lovely inside.

Plus, the signature drink — the Irish coffee — does not disappoint.

4. Tonga Room: Long considered a touristy destination, locals raged when the tiki-themed restaurant attached to the Fairmont hotel was nearly closed down a few years ago. From the claustrophobic kitsch of the seating area to the surreal aquatic habitat that changes seasons (actually the former Fairmont terrace swimming pool), the Tonga Room is too delightfully weird to ever close.

950 Mason St. www.tongaroom.com

3. Coit Tower: “If you don’t have to pay for it, is it a (tourist trap)?” Sarah Jones wrote on Twitter, wondering if the Coit Tower’s New Deal-era publicly funded murals qualified.

Absolutely.

The combination of art, history and views make the tower a Tourists Traps We Like reader favorite. Reader Ken Joye of Palo Alto had kind words: “This destination also promotes walking, as well as sympathy for the bus drivers who have to fight the crowds to make it to the top of the hill.”

1 Telegraph Hill Blvd. sfrecpark.org

2. Cable Cars: Forget how long that line gets at the end of Powell Street while you’re forced to listen to a guy play “I Just Called to Say I Love You” on a Casio keyboard. Instead, put the San Francisco cable car system in perspective.

The city still has a transportation system that functions on 19th century technology. It runs every day, and there are people who take care of the cable cars with the dedication of an ancient religious order. If the prices were lower for San Francisco residents ($7 each way, resident or not), this might be No. 1.

Various locations. www.sfcablecar.com

1. Alcatraz: Spend enough time around San Francisco residents and you’re bound to hear someone say, “You know, the Alcatraz tour is actually really good.”

This is the most appreciated tourist trap in San Francisco history, and it’s deserved. It’s fun, educational, picturesque and a little creepy. And the island is run by people who care about the history.

It’s easy to imagine Alcatraz in a world without tourists, and that’s why it remains San Francisco’s greatest tourist trap.

Tours from Pier 39. www.parksconservancy.org

Get Trapped: Tourist Trap Day is Wednesday, Sept. 26.

The Chronicle’s Peter Hartlaub and Heather Knight will be visiting their favorite tourist traps all day and invite readers to do the same. Visit a tourist trap and let us know about your adventure on Twitter or Instagram with the hashtags #GetTrapped and #TotalSF.

We’ll end on Wednesday with a 5 p.m. meet-up at the Buena Vista at 2765 Hyde St. Join us for an Irish coffee!