The method-in-the-madness style of functioning, at home and work, can lead to stress instead of success

The good, the bad and the unhealthy

Making it personal

The root cause

Dealing with it

Given the stressful urban environment that we live in, many people manage to turn efficient multi-tasking into an art form. But if you are the type who thrives in chaos and can only work under the pressure of deadlines, you have to watch out as it will take a toll on your physical and mental health. The hyperactivity could even affect your interpersonal relationships as it creates stress for those around you.The race to the top and the competitive nature of our city demands that people be able to cope with the multiple challenges. While they are the ones with a great success story, it comes at a cost. Psychologist Deepti Makhija talks about the tell-tale signs of people who love chaos, “They are usually multi-taskers and seek stimulation. They are unable to relax in their time off. They are hyperactive, which stems from their competitive side. It’s the downside of an urbanised society, where people think that unless they’re feeling pressured for time and doing many things at once, they are getting nowhere. But these people are also the most likely to succeed as they take on many responsibilities and feel compelled to deliver.”People who thrive in chaos set high standards for themselves and those around them. They could also be the boss’ pet as they take on responsibility and are workaholics. Of course, they’re also great go-to people when you’re stuck or in a crunch.Deepti says, “Such people feel the need to be perfect, which is irrational. So they work twice as hard to reach an illusory utopian state of perfection. This could tip over into unhealthy territory. They need to guard against being whimsical and demanding, as it can lead to deep-seated frustration.”Deepti cites an example of a woman who tended to take on a lot of work and was constantly stressed out. Her colleagues offered to help her, so she delegated tasks. They thought it would ease her stress, but instead she simply took on more work. She says, “This stems from an inherent need to please. Not only is it impossible to please everyone all the time, but you can’t please even one person all the time.”This extraordinary need to achieve can also lead to an urban phenomenon called Affluenza (debt, anxiety and waste resulting from the dogged pursuit of more). Deepti says, “I see hyperactive mothers who want everything to be branded and the best. They multitask and expect their kids to do a lot as well. They will enroll their child in several classes and tog them up in branded clothes. Then they get annoyed if the clothes get muddy or dirty. If this trait is not kept in check, the child could grow up with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).”As a worst case scenario, it could lead to physical problems such as:- Blood pressure issues- Stress-related diabetes- Stress-related thyroid problems- Stress-related headaches and body-aches- Clinical depressionIf you find that this sounds familiar, take precautions that it doesn’t affect your interpersonal relationships. If you need to pack in everything while on vacation or go overboard when you’re hosting people at home, it could affect your spouse and family. Deepti cites the example of a problematic relationship a woman shared with her mother-in-law. If guests were invited, she would offer to help. If she made three dishes, the MIL would decide to make four more. The daughter-in-law was having a very hard time as this sort of deliberate game-play had become a pattern. Deepti says, “If it’s the man who is in that problematic space, the woman feels pressured to keep up. Or if she doesn’t feel obliged to do so, they may grow apart in the relationship.”Why do people with chaotic personalities feel compelled to push themselves to an extreme extent? Deepti says, “This behaviour is perhaps overcompensation for some deep-rooted personality problem or there could be a self-esteem issue, where the person feels inadequate on some level. If it’s a Type A personality, it could complicate things further. Or the person could be a victim of urbanisation and the rationale that ‘if I’m not doing so many things, I’m getting nowhere.’”Once you acknowledge the problem, the solution is fairly simple but takes willpower to follow. Of course, if it’s very serious, then seeking therapy is recommended. The DIY solutions are:- Understand that you don’t have to be a victim of urbanisation as only doctors and psychiatrists benefit from it.- Respect the fact that slowing down improves your lifestyle and longevity.- Try yoga. It centers you and can help you deal with things beyond your control.- When things get tense, step back and take a mental break from the situation. It will help you regain emotional control.- Take a walk; do some manual labour. It releases the pent-up energy.- Dance Movement Therapy and guided meditation is very beneficial.Namrata.Bhawnani@timesgroup.com