John Oliver sounds like a cockney East London scam artist, and his double-talk tricky reasoning is similar too. It would not surprise me if he comes from a long line of such chiselers, working London streets since the days of Dicken’s Artful Dodger, the boy who taught Oliver Twist how to pickpocket. That is how most London swindlers start in their youth. As adults, they use humor and fast-talk to convince hapless crowds to buy fake jewelry and cheap imitation perfume in the belief they are treasures.

Americans are familiar with carnival barkers and fast-talking car salesmen, but not so aware of the virulent and ancient English variety. Watch the following video to see a few examples of cockney touts.

For us deplorable conservatives, there is nothing worse, while cruising TV channels, than to come across John Oliver, Stephen Colbert or Jimmy Kimmel. In the few seconds we watch them before continuing through the channels, they manage to yell at least one boneheaded comment fueled by Trump Derangement Syndrome. Out of those three upstarts, to me, John Oliver is the worst because his ramblings remind me of the swindling scamps that infest footpaths in East London. They use the exact routine Oliver employs to sell his propaganda. Aside from his cockney accent, his voice goes up and down like a pubescent boy, and he gobbles like a turkey on Thanksgiving Eve.

A good example of cockney con artists at work is in this YouTube (backup here), which shows them selling fake perfume in London. The rip-off merchants pay to stand in a shopkeeper’s doorway; pretend the shop is theirs and tell lies about giving away free fragrance to promote a new store that does not exist. Luring people in with promises of free goodies, two scam artists in the audience pretend to be interested and buy. As a crowd builds, the head scammer tells the audience they can have a package for the bargain price of £20 (about $27 U.S.), which includes several perfumes worth about £1. The video maker explains all this in his description. He said he watched them repeat the ritual three times in thirty minutes before calling the police. Here are the same gang in another two locations: Example 2 & example 3.

When John Oliver cons his TV audience, we cannot call the cops because he is protected by the First Amendment. When I had to suffer a few seconds of him Sunday night, he was whining about Trump not being able to drain the swamp because he had hired rich people.

Oliver said [emphasis mine]:

Trump, Trump has a laughable number of wealthy businessmen presiding over policies that could directly benefit themselves and their former employers. And incredibly… his supporters do not seem troubled by this.

After that, he did a lot of double-talk, enough to put those London scam artists to shame, to bamboozle his audience into thinking he must be right.

He just said that wealthy businessmen should not be trusted with other people’s money. Banks are owned by wealthy businessmen in charge of other people’s money. Most millionaires have large bank accounts. Where does millionaire John Oliver keep his money? If he is telling the truth, then he cannot keep it in the bank, so it must be under his bed.

While we are at it, if John Oliver cannot trust wealthy businessmen then he cannot trust the company he works for – HBO. Has he told them he distrusts them? How about the wealthy businessmen that made his car? If they are untrustworthy why does he drive it? What about his suit, glasses, shoes and house? Why does John Oliver give so much of his money to wealthy businessmen he does not trust, for the tens of thousands of luxury goods he owns?

Can anyone spell ‘hypocrisy’?