How to Bet Barstool’s Rough N Rowdy Undercard

In case you live under a rock and haven’t heard, Barstool Sports’ Dave Portnoy is one step closer to owning the moon after acquiring Rough N Rowdy, the hottest amateur boxing league this side of the Mason-Dixon line.

With pay-per-view purchases expected to easily exceed the mark set by the Mayweather/McGregor bout, MyBookie made the wise decision to offer odds on not only the main event between Tex and Handsome Hank, but also on several of the undercard bouts.

Come on, though, how could they leave Zachary “The Hammer” Hanson vs. Dustin Mustard off the board? I’d take “The Hammer” at literally any price. I assume it would just be way too much of a liability to list this fight.

As you could probably tell from the video above, these boxers aren’t exactly thoroughbreds. Toss traditional training methods and skills out the window because there are only two things that will matter:

Who can hit the hardest. Who can take the most damage without getting knocked out.

Let’s dive into the action and pick some winners. (Do yourself a favor and watch all of this footage).

“Red” Derick Lambert (-160) vs. Antoine Brown (+130) (MMA Fight)

The biggest favorite on the slate, “Red” Derick Lambert is unlike any of the other competitors. A two-time Rough N Rowdy champ, martial arts instructor, and professional MMA fighter, Lambert isn’t just any country bumpkin. Though the “undefeated” street fighter Antoine Brown fancies himself the Kimbo Slice of West Virginia, MyBookie isn’t giving him the time of day.

Despite talking himself up in a convincing fashion, I’ll be taking the champ.

The pick: “Red” Derick Lambert -160

“Krispy Kreme” Sam Baker (-145) vs. “Chicken Wrangler” Kent Foster (+115)

These two sound like characters in a Roald Dahl book if you ask me. However, I don’t think you’d hear this type of dialogue in The BFG or The Twits…

Kent “Chicken Wrangler” Foster calls out Sam “Krispy Kreme” Baker for #RnR1 December 15 LIVE on pay per view. Single fight night or season pass available for purchase here: https://t.co/NNSalyCKzV pic.twitter.com/Nhq3BrEhng — Rough N’ Rowdy (@roughnrowdy) November 30, 2017

“Krispy Kreme” has already defeated the “Chicken Wrangler” once and claims that he’ll do it again. However, upon closer review of his training regimen, it appears that Krispy is washing his donuts down with…Michelob Ultra. Talk about soft. Give me the dog and expect the rivalry to live on to a winner-take-all fight number three.

The pick: “Chicken Wrangler” Kent Foster +115

“Giant Killer” George White (-115) vs. “Osiris” Chance Fudge (-115)

I don’t know if MyBookie did their research on this one. The Egyptian God of Death, “Osiris” Change Fudge, is 6’9″. Though George White is the self-proclaimed “Giant Killer”, he stands one foot shorter at 5’9″. We only see stuff like this in the WWE or when Rocky took on Thunderlips in Rocky III.

The only problem for our boy George White is that this ain’t staged and it ain’t no movie. Call me Judy Blume because I’m all about Fudge in this one.

The pick: “Osiris” Chance Fudge -115

Dylon McBride (-145) vs. Andre Williams (+115) (MMA Fight)

The other MMA fight features two “Ruckus In The Cage” veterans. With a 3-0 record, Dylon McBride is sitting pretty at -145 against 31-year-old Andre Williams (2-4).

Unfortunately, there’s no good footage of either of these guys out on there on the internet, so I’m going to go with the chalk here. McBride has a better record, is much younger, and weighs 20 pounds more according to their MMA profiles.

The pick: Dylon McBride -145

“PK” Problem Kid Danny Stubbs (-115) vs. David “The Solution” Gainer (-115)

This bout could be considered the welterweight championship of the Rough N Rowdy Brawl. In one corner, you have the Problem Kid Danny Stubbs, who appears to be 100 pounds soaking wet.

Danny “The Problem” Stubbs will take on David “The Solution” Gainer for #RnR1 December 15 LIVE on pay per view. Purchase the fight night or season pass here: https://t.co/NNSalyCKzV pic.twitter.com/jSK9AzgxwN — Rough N’ Rowdy (@roughnrowdy) December 4, 2017

In the other, you have “The Solution” Gainer, a West Virginia farm boy who wouldn’t mind meeting Kylie Jenner, to put it lightly. Perhaps he can get her attention with a knockout, which is exactly what I think will happen.

The pick: David “The Solution” Gainer -115

“The Sandman” Brandon Sands (-115) vs. Caleb Elmore (-115)

“The Sandman” is a great nickname for any boxer, wrestler, fighter, etc. Sands is coming for that ass, McDowell county! (On a related note, it seems like these guys have a lot of pride when it comes to their home counties.)

Caleb Elmore, you don’t know what’s about to hit you. Get ready to be put to sleep.

The Pick: “The Sandman” Brandon Sands -115

“Butterball” Freddie Garrett Jr. (-115) vs. Bill Price (-115)

“Butterball” may not have the girth of Butterbean, but that doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want to fight just Bill Price, he wants his brother, too! And after that, he’s going after their girlfriends! Ruthless!

Hide yo brother, and hide yo girlfriend, Bill Price because “Butterball” ain’t playing around.

The Pick: “Butterball” Freddie Garrett Jr. -115

Did Pres do it again, or did Pres do it again? I think El Pres definitely just did it again. Rough N Rowdy is the next WWE and there is no debate.

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