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Collecting on Maddox’s $290, the groceries cold war, #LGBT month: heterosexuality is illegal, THOTs vs. THUDs, a Greenpeace shakedown, waiting for the Oculus Quest, the sex extortion story, more on moron War Games and true stories from Vietnam from the late 90s, The ballad of Christina Falso, Nick Monroe calls in, Mumkey Jones doesn’t call in, passion vs. disciprine, the mental gap of trans athletes–the physical gap is a myth, and my video games disability; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Road Rage: Vegas is on and tickets are available now. The bus from LA to Vegas is on and TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE NOW! The drinking and smoking in non-smoking areas is on, the Top Gay party mansion is on, the Aria pre-party suite is on, the machine gun-fest is on, the strip pool is on, and you don’t even need any tickets! You just need your thinnest bathing suit, your thickest leather, and a sweaty wad of one dollar bills. See you guys there! This is going to be…the best one yet! But first…

Sanctions are denied! Dead, done-zo, defeated, deceased, dicked over. Asterios’ motion for justice against Maddox–including attorney fees and punishment for his admitted perjury, have been denied. This is terrible and heartbreaking news. And the reason given is even moreso,

“I don’t feel like it.” -Andrew Borrok

We all felt the chill of death the moment Ramos retired. Our dad on the inside was gone! Someone who miraculously failed to fail upwards to their point of incompetence. Someone who actually knew what their dick was and what to do with it. This is a rare trait to come across in life, my LGBTs know what I’m talking about!

And we were doubly chilled when “The Ram” was replaced by a young democrat who bought his position of power for purposes of vanity and legacy and failure.

“Being a celebrity chef isn’t working out. I guess I’ll become a judge.” -Andrew Borrok

Because then you can’t help but have an effect on people’s lives. You’re forced to by the nature of your position. People are forced to be affected by you. But just because you have money doesn’t mean you know how your dick works. This will be proven again and again throughout time.

We’ll be doing a bonus episode on Wednesday to cover all this. Multiple first-hand sources, Dickheads on the scene, will be calling in. But nothing will change the fact that justice stinks! The bad guys got away with it, and in the end, Maddox didn’t even show up. He just fired missives over email from a desk-less hovel in the city of his failed dreams, his mission command center precariously balanced on totems of being a great big weird fuck. The concessions and compromises made in his life, the bargains–I’ll just keep at it for a couple more years, then I’ll get a real job. The daily struggle with anxiety to find the nerve to choke down a cup of cinnamon-laced coffee from a barista he’s on a first-name basis with–because that’s what cool guys do. They act genial toward their servers. A man who is too paralyzed of his own weakness and femininity to face any kind of confrontation, and true to form, he didn’t even bother to show up.

He got away with it.

This is not justice for Asterios, because the system is not designed to do that. It’s only designed to stop people from killing each other, to wear them down and drain their life blood until they don’t have the energy to take the law into their own hands any longer. And the system has prevailed. The wealth distribution abilities it sometimes wields are irrelevant. It is only meant to protect us from ourselves.

There is a silver-lining in all this. Asterios is free! As much as we know Maddox has no dick, and Andrew Borrok is a joke of a judge who doesn’t know the purpose of his dick, we know that Asterios is and was never cut out for this. And now he’s free of it! The vagina of Damocles forever hanging over his head. Will there be a countersuit? I doubt it. I think the statute of limitations runs out in November, but still, I doubt it. As I told Sargon, you can’t choose to be a bad guy. You’re born with it. You are it all day every day. You wake up a bad guy, you go to sleep a bad guy. And when you have to pretend that you aren’t one, it slowly kills you. The opposite is also true. You cannot serve two masters.

Asterios is free, but Maddox isn’t. Because he still owes me $290. And I will get my $290. I am not tired at all.

The Dick Show takes over a YUGE Godzilla review show.



“The Ballad of Christina Falso”, or “Be Careful Who You Piss off on the Internet”!



“ISC” by Savestate Corrupted



“The Dick Show Theme” by Thousand Island Supreme



Bitch better have my thumbnail by Cliff Campbell!



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