Said it before and I’ll say it again: there’s three types of Sugar Babies:

1. Women who can’t manage their own lives

2. High priced whores running a better scam

3. Women who just want to meet a guy with money

We’re just talking about the first type today.

So you’re a young girl, and a good person, and it is HARD out there. You can’t bend over and pick up a dollar without someone trying to fuck you. Your landlord makes you pay to fix the place that he’s charging you top dollar for it, and you can’t afford to move, or to stay. Your boss clearly hired you to stare down your blouse, and the job sucks (and about as challenging as flossing). Your car is a piece of shit, your last boy friend robbed you, and your family is no help at all.

An older man makes sense. He’s not your dream, but he’ll treat you right. He’ll appreciate you. You won’t have to save up to go to the movies once a month, and you won’t come home and find out that the utilities are turned off.

And there are guys out there who have SO MUCH. You hear their stories – they spend more on a weekend than you can afford for groceries. You know damn well that if you ask for a couple hundred to make ends meet, he’s not going to miss it at all!

So you meet one, and you’re honest with him (as honest as you can be). He’s not a total perv, he doesn’t treat you like a street whore. He’s not married, he doesn’t balk that you have issues in your life. He seems nice.

But you aren’t in the same state, and he wants intimate pictures of you before he’ll send you any money. You’re terrified that these are going to end up on a porn site.

Or he wants to Skype with you while you’re naked and he pounds one out. It makes you feel dirty.

Or he’s helped you a couple times, but now he wants to meet for sex. Yeah, you’re going to go to Vegas and gamble or see the shows – maybe buy some clothes, but he’s made it VERY clear that you’re in the same room and he’s been intimating that he’s going to pound you in the ass.

Got news for you, hon: Sugar Daddy, Sugar Baby, the sugar is sex. The SD has worked hard and made money, and he’s spending it on you, because you are his gift to himself – quite possibly his one personal indulgence. Having you in his life vindicates all of the work, all of the weeks he had to stretch a large pizza into three days’ of meals, all of the times he worked through the nights and, more often than not, every pretty girl in his past who looked down their nose at him.

His gift to himself is NOT to send you cash for nothing, or for nude pictures of you that he can get for free on the Internet. It’s not to bail out your family members or pay your rent. Hitting your SD with a list of problems that keep you from seeing him is, frankly, like the hot water running out while the two of you are in the shower.

The biggest mistake I hear from SB’s who can’t land a good SD and should is that, “He was cold – he only wanted one thing. If he’d seen me through the trouble I was having, I’d have been his forever.”

SB’s who believe that are probably great girl friends but are missing the boat as SB’s. If you’ve known your SD for more than a month and there’s been no sex, you’re in the process of losing him, rest assured of it. He’s on the sites looking, and he’s talking to you because he doesn’t plan to throw you back until he gets something better.

That’s when the SD starts acting like he’s poor. That’s when you find yourself living on Ramen again and, when you tell this guy who SEEMED to want to go all the way with you, he has a call he has to answer or he’ll see what he can do and forgets the conversation.

Not every girl can pull off being an SB. Not every guy SHOULD be a Sugar Daddy, either, for that matter. I have a rule of thumb: if it makes you feel cheap, don’t do it. This DOES make some good girls feel like whores, when really they’re doing what they can to make it in a world that doesn’t take a lot of prisoners, and which doesn’t treat most of them well.

But if you’ve set your heels on this path and you’re going to walk it, you’re going to have to face the facts:

You can do this because you’re pretty.

Guys do this to fuck a pretty girl

You’ve got to be available, and interesting, and fun. That’s the difference between a once-in-a-lifetime home run, and one of the bases he touches along the way.

When asked, I tell girls who want to be SB’s to be a fantasy come-to-life, AND to be careful. If you’re not going to meet right away, be prepared for him to expect sex when you do. It is a LOT safer for you to meet him the next weekend for a dinner than it is to wait three weeks and go to Vegas. I’ve heard more than once of girls who meet a guy who was a straight up liar, and who then bailed on them in a strange city when it was clear he wasn’t getting sex.

I hope there’s some clarity in here for some girls who’ve asked, “What happened?”