The cybersphere has been flooded in recent days with "news" about vodka-soaked tampons and anal beer bongs. Much of this chatter apparently comes from an August 16 Channel 15 (KNXV-TV) interview with drug-treatment-facility spokeswoman Stephanie Siete, who listed "snorting vodka shots" and the tampon-and-beer-bong activities as things "teens are doing" these days.

Let's take a deep, unadulterated breath here. First of all, we imagine -- cynically -- that Siete's primary job at Community Bridges, a non-profit company in Arizona, is to drum up more clients. Getting the attention of parents is one way to do that -- hence, the emphasis on the sensational.

Secondly, there's just no way more than a few dumbasses are doing those things. If a teen has vodka, it's safe to say that the teen is going to drink it, not soak a tampon in it or snort it. Same with beer.

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We admit we could be wrong -- maybe you know someone whose anus has a problem with alcohol. But we called Siete to find out if she knows of any documented cases of her examples here in Arizona.

"You do hear anecdotal reports," Siete says. "If go to YouTube, you'll see this."

Well, sure, and if you go to YouTube you'll see a video of a housecat chasing away a bear, too. It's called a fluke.

Siete claims she's also heard young people say they know others who have committed such antics. Not exactly the stuff of which science is made.

One urban-legend researcher found a 1999 reference to some girls in Finland who supposedly did the tampon-soaking trick, and says the concept became more mainstream following a CSI episode that mentioned it.

Siete confesses that abuse of prescription drugs, alcohol (consumed in more traditional ways), tobacco and marijuana are far bigger problems.