Counter attack is when a player fights back by attacking his opponent instead of making defensive moves. Unlike in chess, children in day to day life use counter attack very generously. Parents sometimes feel so mortified and hurt that they feel like running away from the situation. Rutvik’s (Name Changed) mother shared ” and then he began yelling, screaming and threatening, and physically hitting me. I simply had to get out of the birthday party” Many parents fail to address the responsibility they have about such behaviors. The goal of this behavior is usually revenge. It’s obvious that revengeful child is very furious and wants to hurt you physically or emotionally. Children with an agenda of revenge think that they can’t be liked and they are powerless. But they have right to hurt others just as the way they have been hurt. Paying attention to what parents feel in such situation is important, if you feel “hurt” the goal of your child is revenge. Do not hurt back, understand his feelings of hurt in appropriate ways. Find out what you did in the first place to hurt them. And most importantly take responsibility for the results of his behavior.

Reference : Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow by Gregory Keck,Regina Kupecky