While the novel coronavirus ripples across the world, bringing death and disruption to lives, institutions and businesses, I think about the message young people need to hear.

I asked adults who’ve survived tough times to share thoughts to possibly lead to a discussion among parents and children.

***

“My caregiver and I were talking about that this morning,” said Ray Lindsey, 93, who said it makes sense that that young people are worried about the future.

He said he told his caregiver that it’s important to accept that bad things are always going to come along. Because young people take their lead from adults, he said it’s important that adults talk, honestly, about what it means to look for ways to be positive during tumultuous times.

While it’s not always easy, sharing personal stories about tough times, anger and fear lets young people know their worries are natural.

“I served on a destroyer in the South Pacific during World War II,” said Lindsey, who lives in Forest Grove. “We had suicide planes and bombs. I had friends die. I went through a lot of things I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but I did it and got on with my life.”

He and his wife raised three kids, and he now has three grandchildren.

“Then my wife got Alzheimer’s disease,” he said. “It was hell. I spent three years taking care of her at home. She couldn’t walk. I fed her. She died 10 years ago. I’ve been on my own.”

Lindsey told his young caregiver Monday that even with ups and downs, she should always remember the world is beautiful.

“We may not see it in the moment,” he said. “But there are good things in this life.”

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Barbara Cameron and her son, Ted, in her kitchen.

Barbara Cameron and her husband, Jim – both 81 – have been talking frequently with their five grown children in the past week while in their Milwaukie home. (You might remember our story about Barbara Cameron’s pie-making competition with her son Ted.) The youngest and his wife have two kids, 9 and 5, and they are stuck at home.

“I told them to not worry about missing school,” said Cameron. “Love, hold and listen to them. That’s what they will remember years from now. Done right, these times, which seem so awful, could be the most memorable in a child’s life.”

The key, she said, is that parents not hide what they are worried about. Children sense that fear, and keeping it hidden only makes it worse.

“We had a period of time when Jim had no steady work and we had financial problems,” said Cameron. “We were honest with our kids. The two youngest went out with Jim to help him with his job of delivering phone books. They watched their father mow lawns to make money.

“To this day,” she said, “they remember how wonderful it was when we were able to pay to get hash brown potatoes at McDonalds.”

Cameron said once a month the children and grandchildren all return home for a big dinner.

“We start each meal saying we’re grateful for each other,” she said. “The tough times have done that for us.”

Because of social isolation measures, the family won’t meet in March.

“But we will one day,” she said. “We all know that. That’s called optimism and hope. That’s what we need more than ever now, and it starts with the young people.”

***

As a way to honor veterans, the Vital Life Foundation held a ceremony last summer in Aurora. Hattie Kelley met Jim Shotwell, a pilot and the owner of the fighter plane.Photo by Gary Tetz

Hattie Kelley, 96, grew up in the toughest of times. She was born in 1923 and remembers the Great Depression. As a way to save money, her mother told Kelley she could have either peanut butter or jelly, but not both, on a graham cracker.

In grade school, she helped the family financially by working in the California fields.

“I’ve seen a lot,” she said from her Portland home. “Let me tell you something. We always come out of it. That’s the message that young people need to hear from people who have lived through those times.”

Kelley is always impressed when she gets a chance to meet with young people.

“During what’s going on with this virus now, adults need to talk to them,” she said. “Be honest with them. They’re the next generation and they will come together to make a difference just like all the previous generations have done.”

***

Eva and Les Aigner, who have a message of hope for young people, posed while at the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial in Washington, D.C.Photo by Gary Tetz

Les and Eva Aigner have a message for young people: We are stronger than we think we are.

During World War II, she and her husband both lost families in Nazi concentration camps.

“Les and I lived through hard times,” said Eva Aigner, 81. “We eventually made it to America. We had nothing. We learned to live without, to cope. “

The couple has two children, four grandsons and a great-grandchild.

“The message we have always passed on to the young is to never give up,” she said. “If my husband and I had given into the grief so long ago, we would not be here."

She hopes that is a message parents, in the coming days and weeks, share with their children.

— Tom Hallman Jr; thallman@oregonian.com; 503-221-8224; @thallmanjr

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