Trump may be the first candidate who has to argue that he’s best suited to fix the economy because he's spent his life doing the things that have killed it.

To fix the economy our kids need to get a real education without getting fleeced, conned, or sold a bunch of garbage nobody needs. In other words, we need to make things with any resemblance to Trump’s fake university illegal.

To fix the economy we need to radically reduce the pervasive practice of big companies selling goods and services below cost in order to monopolize markets, whether it's Trump helping the Chinese decimate our aluminum industry or a small business in your hometown being beaten down by similar bullies.

To fix the economy we need to offer more jobs in America to Americans… of course not only to Americans, but more... particularly at places like Trump’s golf courses where the wealthy can afford to pay for real jobs with real rights and benefits without even noticing. We can't keep allowing people like Trump to fly in pretty Romanians instead of hiring Americans. That's just ridiculous.

To fix the economy we need charities to do charity work, we need rich people to stop shutting down criminal inquiries with illegal contributions from fake charities, and we need for rich people to be held accountable for giving politicians more money than is legally allowed, all things Trump seems to have done.

To fix the economy we need someone who will help women and minorities, not someone who spent their lives hating them, abusing them, and punishing them for no reason other than their own sad bigotries. We don't need someone who was forced by the US courts to send out rental lists to Civil Rights groups because they were sued by the Justice Department for illegal discrimination.

To fix the economy, billion dollar losses by rich insane loser brats like Trump shouldn't be matched by the US taxpayer. BAILOUT!! Uh, hello? Earth to Americans?

To fix the economy… there's one glaring symbol of how to do it, all wrapped up into one ridiculously easy to comprehend package:

To fix the economy, essentially we just need to recognize that much of "Donald Trump” is already illegal, and yet he walks around free because people like Pam Bondi are paid not to prosecute his numerous apparent crimes.

To fix the economy, essentially we just need to make the rest of Trump’s barely legal empire… illegal.

That seems to sometimes be his argument anyway, and I actually agree.