We’d all like to improve our communication skills. The best example of natural improvement is what happens to kids as they grow up.

Kids are not as not as articulate as adults. They have smaller vocabularies. They are less polite. They are less tactful. They don’t always know what to say. They sometimes say the wrong thing.

But as they mature, they get better fast.

If we understood how kids improved so quickly, we could use their secret to improve our own skills.

Kids Improve Their Communication Skills by Enriching Their Map of the Social World

What drives improvement in communication skill from childhood to adulthood is the development of a detailed, abstract, and integrated map of the social world.

Think of communication as navigation. The social world is full of landmines, hidden obstacles, threats, and opportunities. A rich and detailed representation of the world functions as a map that lets us navigate around these obstacles so we can get safely to our destination. As our maps of the social world get more detailed, we get better and better at navigating and maneuvering.

The theory that describes the development of these mental maps is called constructivism. The main idea is that each of us has a mental map of the the social world. This map is made up of interpersonal constructs.

Constructs are dimensions for representing social situations and other people. Each dimension is anchored by two adjectives, e.g., kind/cruel, patient/impatient, short/tall, honest/dishonest, generous/greedy, etc.