Golf is a big deal to President Trump. Over the years he has defended his stubborn character by saying a change of swing is a mistake, and dismissed Mitt Romney as a guy who can’t sink a three-foot putt. His main concern about possible Scottish independence, as expressed to the Wall Street Journal, was whether the British Open could still be held. As of Aug. 10 he had spent 50 out of 202 days in office at golf courses, according to NBC News.

So here’s a summary of Trump’s first nine holes at the White House, as played at Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, NJ.

Hole 1, Par 5

Trump drives down the middle on this long opening hole but disputes the size of the crowd watching. He hooks his second into a deep bunker to the left of the green called the Mexican Wall. Duffs his sand wedge but opts not to count that effort, calling it “a first shot, like my travel ban.” Blasts out to 12 feet and sinks the putt, “a perfect Gorsuch.” Marks a 5 on his card. “If you think it’s a six, check with Spicer.”

Hole 2, Par 4

From the elevated tee, Trump slices into a nasty trap called Flynn. Duffs his sand wedge again, “a real Obama,” and then blasts over the fairway into trees. Can’t get a good sight of the pin – “It’s a narrow window like health care” — and doesn’t like his lie, so he adjusts it. Manages a chip to 20 feet, misses putt, and holes out for a double bogey 6. Marks a 5 on his card — “Only the fake-news New York Times would call that a 6.”