I smell a rat.

And his name is Carlos Danger, aka Anthony Weiner.

You know, when you talk about cards you shouldn’t leave home without — a Get Out of Jail Free card is always at the top of the list. And as the posse closes in, as it inevitably does, what better to have in one’s back pocket than a laptop with 650,000 of Hillary’s emails about yoga routines and Chelsea’s wedding plans?

Yes, Carlos is a world-class perv, but it seems he never let his unspeakable compulsions override his need for self-preservation.

Obviously, Carlos forgot the admonition that “15’ll get you 20!” But it appears that he remembered the immortal words of the rodent world:

“I can give you ….”

We are truly in uncharted waters now. This is Watergate on steroids. At some moments this metastasizing scandal gives off Kennedy vibes — the way Clinton was offering the FBI a deal to get back into Iraq if only they would delete the classified designation on the emails.

Just like RFK OK’d J. Edgar Hoover bugging Martin Luther King Jr. in return for Hoover killing the Senate probe into JFK’s East German hooker Ellen Rometsch.

Other times it’s got more of a Bulger feel. This assistant AG Kadzik, who’s in charge of “investigating” Carlos’ laptop — John Podesta says in one of the WikiLeaks that Kadzik “kept me out of jail.”

And now he’s in charge of putting Hillary in one. Wink wink, nudge nudge. Think of Kadzik as this crew’s Zip Connolly — their man inside. They want him running the probe for the same reason the Bulgers tried to put in Zip as Boston police commissioner.

Actually, the Clintons have more than one guy inside. Zip’s boss in the Boston FBI was John Morris. They bought “Vino” with $7,000 cash and a case of wine. Whenever any honest G-man came after Bulger, Vino told them, “Stand down.”

Now we have this number 2 in the FBI, name of Andrew McCabe. His wife was running for the state Senate in Virginia. The Clintons’ money man, Terry McAuliffe, gave Mrs. McCabe $750,000 for her campaign, all of it raised by none other than Hillary Clinton.

The Wall Street Journal reported this week that when the honest agents wanted to go after the Clinton Foundation this summer, McCabe had two words for them:

“Stand down.”

It’s a Bureau tradition. Morris kept his pension. I’ll bet McCabe does too.

But there is one big difference between the Clinton and Bulger crime families. Whitey showed a lot more loyalty to his underlings than Hillary has to hers so far.

Huma Abedin used to be described as Hillary’s “surrogate daughter.” But Monday, Hillary brusquely dismissed her as “one of my staffers.”

Perhaps Carlos Danger can cut a two-for-one deal with his Get Out of Jail Free card, for himself and the little woman. It’s better than being a standup guy. Standup guys do 9 to 15.

Listen to Howie 3-7 p.m. on WRKO AM 680.