ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Despite there not being a bass guitar on stage, a local concert-goer took it upon himself last night to wander over to the sound technician to tell him to turn the bass up.

Trying desperately to catch the soundies eye during the third song, Hamish Madden told The Advocate that he couldn’t just stand there and let everyone suffer through another baseless track.

“I tried to mime the bass guitar, you know, strumming with two fingers and whatnot but he couldn’t see me,” said the 26-year-old software consultant.

“So I went over and told him to turn the bass up and the prick just smiled at me. Who does he think was on stage? The fucking White Stripes or something? Garage rock revival died with John Paul II. Music has bass now,”

“Anyway, that’s what I told him and lo and behold, we had bass. No worries, everyone. I’ll take care of it.”

However, the sound technician from last night’s Black Key’s tribute show in the Betoota Dolphins Leagues Club beer garden oddly answered our calls before noon.

Michael Stuckey, a local musician and freelance soundie, said he can’t even remember seeing or interacting with Madden but he was able to confirm that many punters give him their two cents about where the sound levels and mix should be.

“Yeah look,” he said.

“If I had a dollar for every pissed cunt who walks up to the decks and tells me to turn something up or down, I’d have enough to do my grocery shopping at David Jones,”

“You just smile, nod and hope they fuck off or give you a thumbs up after to turn a nob. But yeah, nah. Never really take their advice onboard.”

More to come.