'No' is the first step on the path to 'yes.' I learned this asking 2000 people to keep 7-day anonymous diaries of their private lives for my new book The Sex Diaries Project: What We're Saying About What We're Doing.

Most people say no. They refuse, explaining that they're "normal" and "definitely not an exhibitionist." Or they politely explain that they're single and "not just boring, but really boring." And so I call back a few days later and point out that the project's objective is to capture actual people's private lives. And eventually they say yes.

Their ensuing diaries have blown open how I think about sex and relationships:

SLIDESHOW: 6 Things I Learned About Love From Other People's Sex Lives

PHOTO GALLERY 6 Things I Learned From Other People's Sex Lives