

I have Mead composition notebooks filled with my journal scribblings going back for decades. I started writing in it when I was quite young and really hit my stride through my 20s and mid-30s. I never wrote daily, but still I used to write fairly regularly. It was a time when I was moving around to different cities, figuring out my career and identity, meeting lots of people, looking for sex and love. I had international adventures and boring jobs and feelings of restlessness. In my journal, I wrote about experiences, thoughts, and general chronicles of the years passing.



These days, I'm married with two young kids, and I'm settled into a house and a career. I don't really write in my journal anymore. I'll sometimes pick it and write a few lines. It can be hard to get started when I'm out of the habit. I find that if I make a goal to write consistently over a few weeks, even if it's just one sentence on busy or uninspired days, I can do it and will get into a groove. But after a few weeks, the momentum falters and I put the journal aside.



I've always felt it's important to keep a journal. I'm not exactly sure why. (Maybe if I knew the answer, I wouldn't have this motivation issue.) It just feels odd for me to let life pass by without commenting on it. I take snapshots now and then and like to have them, but they don't offer the context that writing can, and my disposition is more literary than visual.



Here are some reasons why I might have lost my journal mojo:



1. My life doesn't offer the same narrative drive as it used to. I'm no longer questing and searching as I was. The main character in my coming-of-age story has come of age.

2. I lack time and privacy to reflect as much as I'd like. I used to enjoy going to a coffee shop for an hour to write and read. With a family and a career, it's rare that I get the chance to do that these days.

3. I don't know what my journals are for. I hardly ever reread them. Should I?

4. I don't know what I would want to happen to my journals whenever I die. Would I want them destroyed? Would my children ever be interested in them as family lore? If so, do I need to keep an eye on posterity and be judicious about what I write?



I'd appreciate any insights.

I started keeping a journal when I was in 4th grade. Now that I'm in my 40s, I've lost motivation to write in it.