Nurses shocked at Government being in shock at news that nurse numbers are dropping

Nurses have told of their shock that there is shock within Government regarding newly released figures showing that that number of nurses has dropped in the last year.

The figures showed a drop of some 1,700 nurses in the year to March, leading several Government ministers to do their best to feign interest in the lives of a collection of people who rarely vote Tory, and express shock in the numbers.

“The fact that anyone would express shock at the fact that the number of nurses is diminishing is simply shocking to me,” said nurse Simon Williams.

“I get up before Dan Walker, get to work, have fifteen minutes to psychologically deal with the fact that people I care about have died during the night, then there are twelve hours or so caring for other people who may or not die before popping into the food bank to pick up some tea on the way home, spending twenty minutes looking at pictures of the kids and then passing out where I sit through exhaustion.

“Then the Government tells us we can’t have a pay rise because Buckingham Palace needs some new lampshades.

“I’m shocked that the Government isn’t shocked that anyone actually wants to do this job.”

It is understood that the Government intends to deal with the increasing staffing crisis within the nursing profession by hoping it just sorts itself out somehow.