It’s been almost a week since the World Cup exited our televisions, and I’ve scrolled through copious amounts of generic images of Rio de Janeiro just to con myself that it hasn’t really finished. But there’s no use pretending. The tournament might have come and gone, but it has certainly produced a few outcomes for us all to learn from in the footballing future.

1) Never underestimate your opponent (despite FIFA ranking)

Spain enjoyed the #1 spot for quite a spell, but were instantly knocked down a few pegs by Holland, with terrific assistance from Robin van Persie’s aquatic box behaviour, a.k.a my favourite goal of the tournament – that header. They weren’t the only ones who suffered dearly at the hands of a supposed lesser team; Greece progressed from the group stages, Costa Rica whooped Italy on 20th June, USA challenged Portugal dramatically during their 2:2 draw, Germany humiliated Brazil to the tune of 7:1. Need I continue? This World Cup has been the most surprising gift of all previous tournaments, and never failed to convey that the opposition might not play in their traditional, anticipated style.

2) Don’t place a bet on England (to win)

There was an outrageous level of betting against England from native fans, and quite rightly so. They were abysmal and people were more likely to claw back a stack of cash if they rooted for the opposing side. Wayne Rooney was weak, with mild attempts on goal, Southampton’s hot young prospects weren’t given any major chances, so couldn’t aid the team, whilst Raheem Sterling made it look as though it would have been easier just to score. The number of fresh faces on the pitch without international experience or time to gel rather let it down apocalyptically for Roy Hodgson.

3) It isn’t worth biting off more than you can chew

Taking a crafty nibble out of one of your opponents (poor Italian Giorgio Chiellini) will never be advised, especially if you’re one of the most vigilant, powerful striking contenders around the globe. Luis Suarez has surely seen the consequences of his actions on prior player-chomping occasions, but this time, the repercussions levied have not been harsh enough. His bizarre and, frankly, outlandish lack of etiquette forced Barcelona to etch into his contract a bite clause. I should imagine that the buck-toothed Uruguayan is both ashamed and rather embarrassed.

4) Don’t rely on defenders

Unless you’re the German coach, and even then it pays to err on the side of caution, you should assume that your defence is shoddy and seeking repair. Brazilian defence was among the worst, with absent David Luiz, scatty Marcelo and useless Fred (not that any of these men ever stayed in position or tried to defend, though, that’s sort of the point). Yet again, English defence was shabby and far from watertight, which can be hailed also at Italy and Japan; the latter suffered badly against Ivory Coast. However, holes could be picked at the defensive structure of many teams.

5) Don’t play David Luiz in defence

I further add to my defensive rant that David Luiz was exceptionally horrific in Brazil’s box. Yes, he has been party to a host of upsetting press since the unfortunate (well, depending on which side of the fence your backside is situated) 7-1 defeat against Germany, but he wasn’t particularly deft in any fixture. His only practical moment of redemption was his scolding free kick against Colombia, which won his yellow-shirted troops a place in the next round. I would proceed carefully with this bushy-haired man, as he seems to pick his position whimsically and shirk all defensive responsibilities.

6) Don’t rely on Lionel Messi

The alleged talisman for his country and Barcelona’s genie was less than brilliant during the tournament; I don’t think he superseded anybody’s expectations. Many fans flocked to Brazilian stadia to witness some undisputed skill from Messi and were probably bitterly disappointed. His only notable performances were his goals; one against Bosnia, another against Iran, and 2 when they faced Nigeria. His balls in and assists were helpful, but his focus seemed elsewhere and was, thus, barely visible. Perhaps among such an underwhelming Argentine team, Messi is unable to function similarly to usual? Or, is his just not that good?

7) Never assume that players will be as good at international level as they are for their club teams.

My verdict, or not-so-subtle hints, on Messi is the prime example of why fans and pundits worldwide shouldn’t take it as red that players will either be as phenomenal or as downright awful as they are at club proportions. Despite excellent games for Arjen Robben, he is allotted chances far more regularly at Bayern Munich, which also goes for Switzerland’s Xherdan Shaqiri. Whilst on the flipside, Algeria’s Islam Slimani and staggering 23-year-old Colombian, James Rodríguez, were such triumphs for their national sides in Brazil. It all rather depends on how each team, international and club, is glued together.

8) Always use ‘super sub’ André Schürrle

Despite zero goals against Argentina in the final, Schürrle was present and threatening throughout the game. In prior situations, he has offered his country an abundance of celebrations. His most timely appearance was against Algeria, at which point he snuck in a ball at the 92nd minute; he managed to similarly demonstrate such ability against Brazil, twice. He might not boast a lengthy list of goals, but certainly dug his team out of tight spots on the pitch, and entered the field with fresh energy and determination to make each match count.

9) Wrap Neymar in cotton wool and/or Kevlar

The poor 22-year-old Brazilian magician suffered a nasty blow to his spine against Colombia, all courtesy of Juan Zúñiga, who must either feel horrendous or proud. His frightful injury has not only been a huge setback for him, but his country also. Such huge hopes were pinned on his young shoulders, and his hasty depart placed Brazil in a spot of mammoth bother, so much so that their following games exposed them as a dire squad, who lean heavily on Neymar. It was blatantly obvious that, without his skilful boots, his teammates were bound to fail.

10) Mexico’s best weapon warmed the line of their goal

With kneejerk reflexes and stupendously calm demeanour, Mexico’s class keeper, Guillermo Ochoa, was undoubtedly their most important player. It was his flawless actions that saved their bacon time and time again, especially against Croatia. Their World Cup demise was down to stiff play further up the pitch, not his inability to save absolutely anything hurled in his direction. He conceded a couple of goals, but they were a drop in the expansive ocean of shots aimed at his goal. I would sign this man.

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