Kyoka Jiro preferred the simple things in life, such as music and the company of her best friend, Momo Yaoyorozu. Like the music in her headphones that only she could hear, Momo had a smile she only showed her, and it got her heart beating faster than any song would. Kyoka was only beginning to comprehend the enormity of the crush she had on her friend, and the more she thought about their relationship, the more it seemed that these feelings were mutual.

And there Yaoyorozu was, sitting in the dorm lounge and chatting with Ochako and Tsuyu, flawless as usual. She seemed to be in a good mood and nothing was really going on as it was a Friday after classes. Jiro wisely decided that this would be the best time to confess her feelings and approached the girls.

"Hey Yaomomo," she greeted, "Could I talk to you for a bit? Privately."

"Of course," she responded, standing and seeming to brighten a little. This was not good for Jiro, that damned smile reappeared and she no longer trusted her legs to carry her up to the second floor.

"Follow me," she replied, either Momo would fall for her or she'd fall down the stairs. Easy decision.

Everything was going well so far, the mood was right, they were alone, and Kyoka had strengthened her nerves and spirit.

And then for some reason (in Kyoka's hindsight, it was probably that suspected mutual attraction), Momo grabbed her hand. Kyoka may as well have been hit by Mina's Quirk because all her joints seemed to melt at once and she tumbled down the steps.

"Oh shit, oh shit!" Kyoka shouted internally on the ground, "That was so embarrassing I blew it shit fuck!"

A worried Momo took Kyoka's writhing on the ground in mortification as injury, and scooped her friend up, intent on reaching the infirmary. This was probably the best possible outcome of this incredible blunder.

"I've only had Kyoka for a semester and a half," Momo stated as she ran with said friend in her arms, "but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this school and then myself."

The stairs were watching and they shifted as one to accommodate the mad sprint of the carrier caretaker to the anti-injury room. Once the doors were open, Kyoka clipped through her crush's arms onto the bed, and the bed was angry because she was injured in dignity, not physicality. This falsehood became shrouded by the looming spire of Momo Yaoyorozu who hovered over her pristine patient with a hint of worry and five pounds of latent desire that bubbled to the surface like so many naive dreams.

Kyoka was having a psychic aneurysm and was refusing to meet Momo's eyes, so she took the initiative and used her Quirk to shit out a speculum from her stomach to hold Kyoka's head in place and had their lips meet instead. It was a very productive and fruitful meeting as the relationship figures were projected and the romance stockbrokers were pleased. Both heroes in training were incompetent buffoons so the kiss was very sloppy and also bad, yet full of heat and bacteria.

As the couple broke their contact of intimacy, Kyoka's eyes glowed red, all of the clothes in the room disintegrated, and she began to float above the bed in a similar manner to the effects of Uraraka's Quirk because she was floating and also I feel nauseous and want to throw up.

"I have ascended." Kyoka Jiro declared because she had ascended, "My name is Queerphone Jack."

"Oh yes, I've kissed the princess and have created a new God," replied Momo, entering a euphoric state as several headphone cable tentacles positioned to enter her, courtesy of Kyoka Jiro's 「Ascended」 Quirk.

"Are the terms acceptable?" Kyoka Jirou asked, nay, demanded the sacrifice of her love's virginity, and it was freely given for this was a mutual longing and in the worst case scenario, Momo could always use her Quirk to make herself a new virginity.

And so they commenced penetration, the blood of the maiden being consumed by the voracious headphone cable tentacles, which I will refer to as HCT for the rest of my life for the sake of convenience, several of which were fondling vague and mysterious erogenous zones on Momo's succulent lipid filled body. This did not include the clitoris, which was being personally attended to by Kyoka Jiro's fingers as if she was DJing some sick beats, which incidentally she was, and the sounds that Momo's beanerino was making was the instrumental to All Star by Smash Mouth.

"Somebody once told me the world was going to roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed," Kyoka Jiro bellowed softly, for it was Real Gonorrhea Hours.

"She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an 'L' on her forehead," she continued, and the lyrics were quite topical because Momo was making a very moist ahegao and looked incredibly stupid and she was also using her fat fucking phalanges to signal that she is homosexual by imitating the letter "L", for "Lesbian".

"AND THEY DON'T STOP COMING AND THEY DON'T STOP COMING AND THEY DON'T STOP COMING AND THEY DON'T STOP COMING AND THEY DON'T STOP COMING AND THEY DON'T STOP COMING," Kyoka Jiro repeated to oblivion, for her partner would not stop orgasming to the point where she lost control of her Quirk and produced an endless rain of Yen and vaginal discharge, the moneyshot ruining the local economy and also smelling kind of funky.

Kyoka Jiro paused to give a very loud and uncomfortable sniff. "MMMMM, these are very pungent and rich cummies!"

"That was sugoi, Kyoka Jiro-chan," Momo gushed both verbally and physically, "Can you bring me three Coca-Colas and a large pizza so we can do it again?"

"Is Pepsi OK?" she responded, attentive to the needs and energy level of her girlfriend.

"I suppose," coyly replied Momo, to which Kyoka Jiro grabbed the requested items from Mineta who had been in the room the entire time and handed the other girl three Coca-Colas and a Pepsi.

As her girlfriend scarfed down the soda and chewed with her mouth open, Kyoka Jiro touched herself and in doing so, touched the world. She was starting to feel peckish herself, so she dove down and ate the carpet. But the caterpillar was still hungry and the floor now bare, so Kyoka Jiro satiated herself by applying a solid healthy dose of cunnilingus on the other woman.

"ME HOY MINOY!" Momo gasped in surprise while trying to drink her food.

"Having dinner at home is nice and all," Kyoka Jiro somehow started talking while consuming the cat, "but I prefer to eat out."

"hEe HEe HEE HaW HAw hAW aaaaaaaa AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Mineta laughed at the joke but cried because he wasn't getting some, and he was very hungry.

Momo's arousal increased along with her calories because Kyoka Jiro kept talking.

"I can see why you're named Momo, you're a real peach!" which was very funny because "Momo" means "Peach" in Japanese.

As she continued to get her cooch kissed, Momo poured Pepsi onto Kyoka Jiro's visage, it was incredibly pleasant, cool and refreshing yet acidic and tingly, and the smell of Kyoka Jiro's face starting to melt was divine. She only sped up her mouth movements and tongue twisters, and as Momo approached the edge, various nails and screws were generated uncontrollably from her crotch, rusting near immediately under the stream of Pepsi. They embedded themselves into Kyoka Jiro's rapidly disintegrating face, but she would not stop and her muscles and skin regenerated faster than they sloughed away. She looked like the Terminator.

"DÖ I ÄfRAiD YOoÜ?!" Kyoka Jiro metallically screeched from all of her orifices, and all were afraid of fear itself.

However, it was far too late for mercy. Momo nutted, and bolted. Nuts and bolts sprayed forth from her tool case taint only to be absorbed into the empyrean flesh of Kyoka Jiro, who only grew more powerful. As Kyoka Jiro flailed her 27 limbs and bellowed from the blackest abyss that used to be her mouth, Momo could only stare on in itchy terror and abject arousal while smelling faintly of fish and chips, only able to perceive bits and pieces of the being that was her lover, and comprehend them even less.

"I Äm very hORnY ANd hÖMe oF sexÜaL!" Kyoka Jiro seethed, to which Ibara Shiozaki burst into flames, several stars were snuffed out, and Sunday stopped existing for that week. Clenching three of her fists (very gay and flamboyantly), Kyoka Jiro shoved all of them into Momo's rectum, as if she were three hand puppets sown together into one blasphemous puppet monstrosity that should never have been shown to the children. The pressure was enormous, tearing off Kyoka Jiro's pagan hands at the wrist and crushing them into cursed diamonds, yet it would not deter the ravenous depravity of Kyoka Jiro, who but had to caress the Yaomomomammaries for them to bleed milk with which Kyoka Jiro churned into the highest quality butter with her eyes. This was the perfect lubricant for an anal appetizer consisting of the fists of a mad god and Momo's high pressure posterior in this five course fuck meal.

"Is that a mad banquet of darkness I hear!?" Tokoyami screamed as he vigorously pecked the door down with his face and began to furiously masturbate in tandem with Dark Shadow, who was also jacking off in synchronicity to a 4|4 rhythm with staccato 32nd notes.

"Wait! Kyoka Jiro! (I didn't hear what Momo said but it was some generic porn line about not wanting anal)! Yamero!"

"Our terms and conditions have changed," stated Kyoka Jiro, everything had changed.

The pleasure was not of this world. Kyoka Jiro pumped in and out, shoggoth shaped appendages coming from a nameless direction, so quickly that they were everywhere and nowhere at once within Momo's Schrödingerian shithole. The sphincter widened cryptically, flesh oozing and heaving to make way, for all would part for Kyoka Jiro, whether it be in submission or in dust. Not a trace of innocence was left beneath the shadow of Kyoka Jiro, and all was silent but the death throes of hope as it was extinguished. As the Deep Ones were withdrawn from the ruined rearhole, Momo's mind fractured as easily as her ass had.

The writhing gay mass that was Kyoka Jiro constricted and folded inward into her familiar human form, one within mortal comprehension.

"Good night, sweet prince," Kyoka Jiro whispered with gentle chicken tenderness, leaning down to kiss her girlfriend's forehead and restoring her sanity.

To be continued