1. Your parents will never actually appreciate the beauty of Gesha in an Aeropress.

2. Six cups of coffee a day is really not a big deal.

3. You are guaranteed to get coffee-related indigestion at least once a week.

4. Your obsession with coffee turns you into the office barista.

5. Your OKCupid date really won't be into the whole cafe crawl idea.

6. Your best friend will try to impress you with a blade grinder and some Peppermint Spice pre-ground Trader Joe's blend.

7. Most of your friends can't even fake-prentend to understand when you talk about the value of high elevation in coffee farming.

8. No matter how many parameters you adjust, you're always chasing the perfect brew method.

Bonus: In spite of it all, coffee is still beautiful and you love it unconditionally.