I know you've been waiting with baited breathe to hear further tell of the exploits of the great and mighty raider. I've been busy righting wrongs and spreading my seed. Thus, I've been unable to return to you until now.So here I am, sitting in my office waiting quietly until I get to go home and ride my bike. I, unlike so many others, have stared into the abyss that is a stripped motorcycle and I have come out the other side. Some would say I'm heroic, veritable mechanical god amongst men, an inspiration to the masses, the last great hope for humanity, but that would be an understatement. When we left, the bike was sitting on a jack and missing both wheels. The motor had yet to be fired and all in all I had a very pretty (downright sexy) centerpiece for my living room.The first order of business, as I saw it, was to get a goddamned wheel on the thing. After all, without wheels, a bike is like a trip to a strip club... it may look pretty, but you sure as hell aren't going to be riding it anytime soon. This meant a trip to the dealership to get new tires. Let's just say I spent too much goddamned money on this. A little bit of grease, a couple cases of beer, and the little tiny balls (unlike my massive ones) were in place and the front wheel was on.Then came the problem of the ages, the clutch. You see, the clutch rod had snapped. The previous owner, whomever he may be, should burn in hell of what he did to this bike. So off came the clutch cover and in went the new clutch rod. Problem solved you would think? Nope but there is more to this story later.The next step was the rear wheel. A new chain and new tire came in and were mounted along with my fancy dancy new license plate holder.New Exhaust went on as well.Then, I completed the wiring, replaced the battery, and lit her up in my living room.I didn't see my cat for like two weeks after that, but who really gives a crap. It's a cat.The problem is, no matter what I did, I could not get the damn bike to clutch. It would run all damn day, but I just couldn't get it to clutch. It seems as though the forces of evil were lining up against me (though I didn't see any Aggie fans). For weeks I #$%*ed with it. I followed the damn guide to no avail. I rebuilt 2, count them 2, clutch adjusters (one was off of ebay). For a time I considered cutting this bike into small pieces, placing them in a pile in my backyard, and urinating on them every morning in an effort to show future projects what happens when they misbehave.Then, one night, in a drunken stupor, it came to me. I had broken the clutch lever ages ago when I was hit by Nigeria's finest driver. That had to be it. So, off to the junkyard I went; with my girlfriend kicking and screaming in tow. In the very bottom of a very dusty bin I found another clutch lever from a bike who'd passed through there and met a different fate. Sitting in the back, I found a suitable clutch cable of a different make. I laid the parts out the desk, and laughing maniacally, I worked the lever a few hundred times to make certain that it threw the adjust far enough. The replacement handle was pulling the the clutch cable too high when at rest (it was off of a cb550) and thus I was getting an inadequate throw. Now, at long last, I was cooking with gas. So, with the sound of "Are we done here, I don't ever want to come back to this #$%*ing #$%*hole" and "You're a goddamn jackass, pay attention to me instead of that #$%*ing bike" in the background I was off to finish my bike. Home I went, and on the clutch adjuster did go and it clutched. That pull of the clutch was the second most pleasurable thing I've ever done with that hand (I'm ambidextrous at times).So, worried that the bike might be off a bit and launch, I did the only thing one could do... I put my girlfriend on it. Then, after I concluded that the bike wasn't going to kill me, I got on it. Now, some explanation is probably due here. I'm lazy and it's like 153 degrees in Houston right now, so I'm not going to go run with my dog, even though she seems to love it. However, I will let her chase me on the bike. If I crank the bike up while I'm working on it, she gets crazy excited and absolutely loves the thing. So you may commence to bowing before me and my greatness. That will be all.John