Bill Maher has a special Christmas message this year, but it's not as jolly as you might be expecting. While he does wish you a merry Christmas, he also takes time to talk about what really drives many of us to celebrate at this time of year, America's "real religion": greed.

While his message isn't exactly merry, Maher is just tired of seeing people who win cash on reality shows look like Pentecostals in church. And who else has the power to make people speak in tongues because they won an iPad other than Oprah?

Maher's message is really directed at the queen of talk, whose generosity has shown to the world just how happy material goods can make an audience of people. It can almost be described as "scary happy." According to Maher, this is why everything in America "gets sucked down a hole." He ended with a request for Oprah:

"What people really value is acquiring crap. Oprah's show purports to be a lot about spirituality. If it was, then wouldn't she tell her worshiping flock to sit down and stop losing your sh*t over material stuff? As for me, I don't really know what spirituality means, but I know if you're weeping over a sweater then you don't either."

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