Prompted by a comment on Slashdot, I would like to reprint this old blog post, which still makes me laugh:

Around 1987 or 1988, I saw Larry Niven at a convention. I was officially there to be the Star Trek guy, but I didn't have to go on stage for a few hours, and rather than sit in some suite with the rest of the Star Trek people who didn't want to get too close to the masses, I grabbed my backpack and wandered around the convention as nerdy fanboy number 42.

I bought a ton of crap in the dealer's room (mostly FASA sourcebooks, and some bootleg anime videos IIRC) and on my way down a hallway toward the gaming room, I saw this guy who was dressed in a Space Shuttle flight suit (blue) sitting behind a table that had some books on it.

Holy shit, it was Larry Niven.

I walked up to him and the conversation went something like this:

Me: OMG YOU'RE LARRY NIVEN!



Him: OMG YOU'RE WESLEY ON STAR TREK!



Both: CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH!



Both: YOU WANT MY AUTOGRAPH?!



Both: YES!



Me: I don't have a pen.



Him: It's okay, I have several.

He pulled a pen out of the shoulder pen-holding pocket thing on his blue Space Shuttle flight suit. I was so out-nerded, it wasn't even funny. I tried to counter-attack by producing my own copy of Ringworld that I had in my backpack, because I carried it with me everywhere in those days, just in case, you know, I felt like reading it. (I am not exaggerating at all. I loved -- and continue to love -- that book that much. For reals.)

This prompted the question, "Do you ever get bothered that you can't just walk around a convention like everyone else? Does it bother you that people are always trying to talk to you, even when you're supposed to be having your 'own' time?"

To which I replied, "It depends on how much Sailor Moon porn I'm attempting to buy."

I made myself laugh, and then I realized that there probably really is Sailor Moon porn, and there are probably people who buy it. Then I threw up in my mouth a little.

Have you ever had to laugh while there's vomit in your mouth? It's worse than holding a drink in your mouth while you get under control enough to swallow it.

Wow. I really just bounded over the line on that one, didn't I? I mean, normally I can at least see the line behind me, but it's way behind the horizon right now.

Okay. Good to know. Moving on.