1) First, make her kneel

Let her kiss

the toilet bowl.

Then,

Push her face down until she drowns.

Don’t forget to flush.



2) Report:

Force upon her the name and pronoun she rejected

Insist on using photos of her in a two-piece



3) Investigate:

Maybe he was a fraud?

Maybe he was a thief?

Forget all other possibilities:

Maybe she was with a monster?



4) Call for a presscon:

A pity but let’s not be rash about abrogating the VFA or EDCA

What about US military aid?

What about the promised helicopter?

What about China?

What’s another dead fag anyway?



5) Comment on Facebook:

His fault because he was a fraud

His fault because he was a whore

His fault because he pretended to have an eggplant omelette

when all he really had was an eggplant... LOL!

LOL back

“Like”

“Like” 257 times

“Share”

“Share” 368 times

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL…



6) Shelter the suspect

Shield him in a warship

Then transfer him to an air-conditioned room in his embassy

Hire the smartest, most expensive lawyers money can buy

Acquit



Don’t forget to flush.