Nigel French/EMPICS SportDespite the minor distraction of a kick-about in Brazil, Newcastle United finally got their now traditional soap opera of drawn-out summer transfer failings off to a flyer this week. After some 18 months of varying flirtation in the papers, news finally broke that longterm target Bafetimbi Gomis would indeed be wearing black and white next season... albeit at Swansea City. But, in true playground style of watching the girl you fancy kop off with someone fractionally more appealing than you, sources at the club have been lightning fast to distance themselves from ever fancying Gomis in the first place. "He's too old and asking for too much money" one claimed, "girls have cooties anyway" said another, probably. Of course, these are all valid points, not least because of his alleged wage demands - an eye-watering £75,000 per week. Newcastle can't be blamed for balking at that request, partly given the stringent wage structure the club now operates, but mostly because there's just so much more a football club could do with that much money. You could buy a better footballer for example, you could even buy multiple footballers, or make sure you actually keep the existing footballers you have for a change. But why stop there? 75k a week is an ungodly amount of money to you or I, and the spending clout it carries is limited only by our imaginations, Amazon shipping policies, and the current bounds of medical science...