If The Dark Knight rose in India

It’s a dark night in Gautamnagar, a village somewhere in India. The baniya is about to shut down the shop, when suddenly the Dark Knight rises from behind. The baniya falls back in horror. Today only he had refused free ration to villagers and the Dark Knight knew. The Dark Knight cleans up half the shop and distributes the loot in the basti. The basti spontaneously bursts into the song “Dark Knight aaya re“, men and women dancing in well choreographed steps. The Dark Knight also dances with them.

Next day cracks with a view of the Haveli, the Haveli of Gautamnagar. There lives Bruce Wayne who, everybody knows, is the Dark Knight. Even the police loves him. Alfred is the Ramu kaka, who has a bubbly daughter, Catwoman. She has been in love with Bruce since childhood. The Munshiji’s name is Fox, who looks after the Wayne jaaydaad. Suddenly the movie breaks into a song where the Catwoman sings “mai Dark Knight ki deewani hu” in the open fields of the village dancing with other village girls.

One day an old associate of the Wayne khaandaan, Bane, drops by along with his foreign educated daughter, Miranda. Bruce falls in love with Miranda. The movie breaks into a song “mai tera Dark cola tu meri Miranda“, Bruce dancing on one side of the field with 20 boys, Miranda dancing on the opposite with 20 girls. As it turns out Bane had killed Bruce’s parents. He had killed Miranda’s parents too and blamed their death on the then-5-year-old Bruce. He has been poisoning her mind right since the childhood. While Miranda wants to use her beauty to avenge her parents’ death, Bane wants to use her to get the Wayne jaaydaad.

The climax shows Bruce lying on the ground with Bane and Miranda holding guns in front of him. Bane reveals the truth and laughs uncontrollably. Miranda falls by Bruce’s side, confessing her true love for him. Bane fires, the world goes into slow motion, Miranda watches transfixed, all the Bane’s men stand paralyzed with mouths open, the moment stands frozen in time, while the bullet makes its journey slowly towards Bruce’s side. Bang! The bullet hits Catwoman who had emerged from nowhere to save her love’s life. Fox and Alfred arrive with the police, Bane gets caught having just confessed all his sins. Catwoman lies dead on the ground, the sad version of “mai Dark Knight ki deewani hu” playing in the background.

Five years pass. Happiness has returned to the Wayne Haveli. Gautamnagar is again in a perpetual mood of spontaneous festivity. Bruce and Miranda are in a romantic mood when their 4 year old daughter emerges from nowhere. Miranda smiles sheepishly towards her husband, pushes him away, takes her daughter in her arms and asks mock angrily, “Catwoman, did you have your milk?”.