Feast your brain on these aged items, ordered from least to most old!17 months 11 daysBaby AugustThe result of the longest recorded human gestation, Baby August was the oldest newborn ever.48 yearsVanguard 1Launched in 1958, the now defunct Vanguard 1 remains in orbit around Earth, making it humankind's oldest extraterrestrial junk object.66 yearsBernie BarkerBernie was still auditioning for TV appearances last summer, albeit unsuccessfully. A former working-class, hands-dirty sort - an electrician or something - he has an interesting career history, and probably a long one.122 years 164 daysJeanne CalmentThe usual stories of bizarre longevity tips and a sense of humour that stuck it out to the bitter end surround reports of Jeanne. Some of her jokes sound suspiciously like the onset of senility, but the same can be said of many leading stand-ups. Her prolonged attempt at immortality, lasting roughly 0.122 millennia, was said to be a personal best.1541 yearsA Questionable OrnamentSome guys found a thing and said it might be chess piece. Many others said it probably wasn't. Why did I include this?4046 yearsA Cuneiform TabletNot to be confused with Vanguard 1, above, this is the oldest that ever went to space and came back again. In 1989, Sonny Carter, spaceman, packed this in his space-luggage on the space shuttle Discovery and set off into space. He did so as part of NASA's "Object in Space Program". The programme was a success and the object did indeed go to space. I wish I had lived in the US so I could have contributed taxes to that one.4206 yearsBurial TreatThe oldest cake ever found was made in ancient Egypt and allegedly "vaccuum-packed", although I feel the term is probably misleading given the technology available at the time. Anyhow, sounds tasty, and I'm sure the revered Pepionkh would have loved it had he not been already dead when it was presented to him in his grave. What a waste.1,800,000 yearsCaveman-type HunterThe earliest evidence of mammoth consumption was left behind by some messy, probably monkey-like humanoids in the Olduvai Gorge in Tanzania. It's the kind of place that makes archeologist soil their trousers (by kneeling down to brush fossils).6,000,000 yearsOrrorinThe oldest discovered fossil of our upstanding ancestors, Orrorin is believed to originally have had a lower jaw. Bone analysis - or "bonalysis" - shows leg density consistent with hind-legged strolling.4,400,000,000 yearsZircon LumpThe oldest bit of our planet yet found. Want to know about Zircon formation? Sure you do - click the picture.At least 4,600,000,000 yearsSuper-Aged RockThis is what prompted the post: last week it was announced that a bit of meteorite in a lake - not itself a new discovery - was older than the solar system. And that makes it pretty old . Click the picture for the Guardian's report.

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