According to sources, Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy has reportedly eaten several script writers who were working on the upcoming Kenobi TV series for Disney+ which has resulted in delays. This is being reported by the Mr. Sunday Movies YouTube channel, which has shared more accurate Star Wars scoops than notorious leaker Mike Zeroh.

Is this a surprise that Kennedy has become a cannibal? Actually, no. Unnamed sources close to Kennedy revealed to FSW that Kennedy has partaken in the feast of human flesh since her time working with acclaimed filmmaker Steven Spielberg.

“It was kind of her thing. She claimed it helped her come up with good ideas. She went off it due to health concerns before the production of Congo began which explains why it and the new Star Wars movies have been trash. Hopefully since she’s reverting back to cannibalism we will finally get more good Star Wars.” -Anonymous

While cannibalism is typically frowned upon in most countries on Earth, it is common practice on Tatooine. So Kennedy gets imported human flesh sent to her from the Outer Rim. Who would have thought that a diet of cantina ruffians and moisture farmers would gets the creative juices flowing?

But this begs the question: were the Kenobi scribes from Tatooine? Our source says yes! Writers A’shardy Smith and Obi-Juan Hidalgo were from Tatooine. Now did she eat them specifically because they were doing a bad job? We don’t know, but we do know that writers from Earth are now working on the scripts.

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–Link Voximilian