One reason for the current polarization between men and women'a situation that has become worse, not better, over the past two or three years is the lack of any moral or philosophical paradigm for moving beyond polarization. The obstacle is a paradigm, comparative suffering, that leads inevitably toward the mobilization of resentment between various sexual, racial, ethnic, economic, religious or linguistic groups. From this deeply cynical perspective, groups compete in the public square for both moral status and political power by claiming that they alone deserve the status of collective victims and therefore that their adversaries alone deserve the stigma of collective victimizers. This presents the latter with a very difficult problem: how to establish and maintain a healthy collective identity in the face of pervasive prejudice. At the moment, men are experiencing this problem as acutely as women ever did but without the academic and political resources that feminism has generated during the past half century. One solution would be to replace inter-sexual debate with inter-sexual dialogue.