Slavoj Žižek Gets His Hair Cut

A primer for the unfamiliar.

Slavoj Žižek walks into a barbershop without making an appointment

he sits in the nearest empty chair

“I want a haircut,” he says to no one

and to everyone

“Cut my hair. Make it look terrible.”

“And do not look me in the eyes.”

being a Marxist

is no excuse

for not looking your best

Slavoj Žižek, what are you really angry at

capitalism

or scissors?

Slavoj Žižek

next time why don’t you try plagiarizing

a different hairstyle

Slavoj Žižek

your haircut is like late-stage capitalism

devoid of integrity

and propped up on a faltering infrastructure

Slavoj Žižek

your beard

like Communism

works better in theory

than in the real world

Slavoj Žižek

remember that Derrida objected to clearly defined theses on philosophical grounds

not personal grooming

even your haircut misreads Hegel

remember

your ontology can give primacy to the creative subject who manipulates discourse

and use a comb

at the same time

Slavoj Žižek

would it kill you to smile

take a shower Slavoj Žižek

get some rest

you look awful

your friends are worried about you, Slavoj Žižek

your friends are worried about you and your hair, Slavoj Žižek

your friends are worried about you and your hair and your views on subjectivity, Slavoj Žižek

Slavoj Žižek walks into a barbershop

and walks out again

Nothing has changed.

“Word is murder of a thing, not only in the elementary sense of implying its absence—by naming a thing, we treat it as absent, as dead, although it is still present—but above all in the sense of its radical dissection: the word ‘quarters’ the thing, it tears it out of the embedment in its concrete context, it treats its component parts as entities with an autonomous existence: we speak about color, form, shape, etc., as if they possessed self-sufficient being.”

your haircut

is murder

of your head