Why do you feel like a transwoman is obligated to disclose her status just to share space with you?

In this case, where I was offered a ride by what I assumed to be a lesbian couple to a music festival that is solely for women and has gone through a lot of upheaval and contention over the fact that it is for women-born-women, I believe I was completely in the right to count on the fact that these people believed in the intention of female-only space. Because of the michfest intention, this couple, I believe, should have offered the (very obvious upon arrival) information that one of the pair was a male-bodied male-socialized trans woman. This is called informed consent. Had I known this very important information (it’s important because I’m a lesbian separatist and I choose to spend my life and energies on women who are born women, and also as a rape victim and someone who has been paid for sex and is highly impacted by the sound of men sleeping in a room with me), I would have found another ride to michfest.

I was grateful to the woman who I spoke with and who organized picking me up, etc. Because I did need the ride and I did decide to go regardless of immediately knowing the other person was male. I was not at that time completely aware of how impacted I would be by their male pattern behaviours. I was hopeful.

I think it’s so fascinating that most people who commented on my post about being upset to spend many hours secluded in a vehicle and hotel room with a male decided I had absolutely no right to put a boundary on who I can choose to spend time around. They decided I have no right to know, or say no, when a person I have every reason to believe is female turns out to be male. As always, they simply tell me I should be grateful, grateful, grateful, and that I should die for my desire to be only around women.

But it was wrong. And it harmed me. And I won’t shut up or be sorry.