“When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.” – The 14th Dalai Lama (1935)

The Beatles sang “All You Need is Love,” an anthem and tribute to kindness at its core. It preaches to show kindness to others and unto ourselves. There are two things that I think are important that help foster one’s ability to show kindness, that is being able to love yourself and truly understanding empathy. How we express kindness can be expressed in many ways. These exchanges are often direct or indirect with people we may or may not know or ever meet.

Why do we show kindness?

We all have our own reasons. I show kindness because I hope that one day when/if I am down on my luck, having a stressful day or could simply use a reason to smile; I hope that someone else will take the opportunity to brighten up my day. I have learned from facing my own challenges that kindness is the best medicine for revitalizing the soul and mind. I take great joy from being able to make others smile and feel important, even if it is just for a few moments. Sometimes this can be something brief, like a smile to a stranger or something more significant like giving a loan to a stranger.

A few years ago, while attending a regional retreat for university students I heard a peer say something that I believe to be true. He said “Every stranger is a friend who I have yet to meet.”

Tonight, it started to snow. I foolishly did not dress appropriately and was working the late shift. I decided to take a cab home. I had the most wonderful driver. During our conversation I could tell he was intrigued about my employer so we spent the entire ride discussing the skill sets and experience my company looks for in potential candidates. By the end of the drive, I had convinced him to apply for a general entrance position and he had convinced me that I should give him a referral. We exchanged information and parted as friends.

At first when he pitched for me to give him a referral, I laughed it off for a moment. Typically when it comes to work, it is something I take very seriously and I am cautious not to tarnish my relationships or reputation so obviously I would not endorse a stranger I knew very little about. I then remembered my own struggles earlier this year seeking employment in a province facing budget cuts. I emphasized with his ambition to find work that spoke to his passions and with his tenacity and humility. He had no reason to be kind to me upon entering his cab. I was a transaction, a job, once finished he would commence his next transaction. Instead we allowed ourselves to lower our defenses, to be honest and genuine. I truly hope he applies, as he will get a very endearing reference from a very happy client and friend.

To me this is kindness. Lowering your guard, being open to transformative change, and recognizing that kindness truly goes full circle. I think it’s pretty easy to show direct and indirect kindness to others.

Here are some ideas on simple and affordable acts of kindness:

1) Smile. A smile can brighten your day as much as it can for others. Share your smile with the world, just don’t be too weird about it :p

2) Tell others how you feel, if you appreciate them – tell them. You would be surprised how easy and effective this is. Tell them in person, leave them fun notes, send them a handwritten letter, a phone call — something personal.

3) When you see someone asking for money on the sidewalk, don’t ignore them. If I don’t have cash, I will at least smile and apologize and if I am not in a rush quite often I’ve been known to pop into a nearby store and purchase food and beverages or invite them to come along and pick something out. It’s a great opportunity to help someone out by other means and also to learn about their story.

4) Surprise strangers, leave notes on lockers, doors, bus/train seats that tell people something that you would love to hear. Ie. “I hope you feel beautiful today” (Re: photo, picture taken in a bathroom stall at a local coffee shop!) Have extra blank cd’s laying around the house – burn cd’s with your favorite tunes, leave an endearing note and leave these treasures in similar locations to be found by others.

5) Have some extra spending money? Instead of giving it to a charity and not knowing what happens to it, why not consider supporting a non-profit like Kiva. Through this organization you are able to give a loan to low-income students and entrepreneurs. And the neat thing is, your loan gets repaid and you can reinvest it with another deserving recipient of your choice.

Thanks for checking out my blog and please continue being your wonderful self.

Much love,

Ellie