Don't dismiss Universal's new, interdisciplinary take on theme park rides

ORLANDO — Okay, let me make sure that I've got this logic right...

Cedar Point has built a lot of roller coasters, so it should stop making roller coasters and build other rides, to keep fans happy.

Disney has made a lot of animated movies, so it should stop making animated films and develop only live-action family movies, to keep fans happy.

Legoland has built a lot of attractions that look like Lego bricks, so it should use other surface decorations on their new attractions, to keep fans happy.

Dollywood has a lot of musical shows, so it should it should stop using music in its new live performances, to keep fans happy.

Universal has developed a lot of screen-based attractions, so it should stop developing new rides that use screens and build nothing but animatronic dark rides, to keep fans happy.

Am I getting this right?

Okay, I'm trolling hard here, but I just don't get the this standard that some fans seem to be applying to Universal for its theme park attractions.

Universal uses a lot of IP that relies on actors — real human beings whose instantly recognizable faces cannot be convincingly recreated in animatronic form. (Just take a visit to the uncanny valley of Disney's Hall of Presidents creepshow to see how badly some familiar faces look in animatronic form. Sorry, but that is not Barack Obama.) Unless Universal wants to throw many millions of dollars into animatronic R&D in an attempt to beat Disney at its own game and develop mechanical faces that look and react exactly like Daniel Radcliffe, Helena Bonham Carter, Vin Diesel, and Jimmy Fallon, then it's going to need to use screens to bring these people into Universal's theme park attractions in a convincing way.

Because of Universal's reliance on live-action, actor-driven IP, Universal's theme parks necessarily are going to include a higher percentage of screen experiences than any other parks in the industry. The only way to avoid that is to create experiences such as Men in Black Alien Attack, where the lead actors are either marginalized onto supplemental screens (Will Smith) or eliminated entirely (Tommy Lee Jones). Universal can pull that off every once in a while, but it needs to deliver that stars that define its IP franchises on a consistent basis to please their fans. That means screens.

What about Gru and the Minions? Those are animated characters. Couldn't Universal have created an animatronic ride for them? Yeah, I'll give the haters that one. But let's remember that Despicable Me Minion Mayhem was one of the last major new attractions that Universal developed before its Harry Potter windfall allowed the company to buy out Blackstone Group, take full ownership of the Universal Orlando Resort, and escalate the budgets for its new attractions. Minion Mayhem was budgeted as a reskin of the old Jimmy Neutron ride, which itself was a reskin of the original Hanna-Barbera attraction. (Google it, kids. And join me later in the bottom of that rabbit hole. "Grape Ape!")

Fans loved the Minion Mayhem ride film and Universal made a sound business decision to dupe it in Hollywood and Japan. If Disney fans want to give Universal a hard time for passing on developing an original idea merely to dupe a cheaper, existing concept from its park on the other coast, I would invite them to Google "Pirates of the Caribbean" "Western River Expedition" before proceeding.

To Universal's credit, it's vastly improved the setting for Minion Mayhem with each installation, creating a Super Silly Fun Land (with spinners and playgrounds — no screens!) in Hollywood and an even bigger Minion Park coming to Japan this year. But, yeah, I'd love to see Universal create an animatronic-driven Minion dark ride experience some day.

All right, let's move down the list. Wanna talk about Transformers? Until I hear a solid refutation, I will go to my grave believing that Universal had no intention of bringing Transformers to Orlando, relenting only when it appeared that it might need to close Spider-Man in a deal to trade the Marvel theme park rights to Disney as part of a major financial transaction that would have released Steven Spielberg from Dreamworks (which has a distribution deal with Disney) so that he could return to Universal. But Spielberg elected to stay with Dreamworks, scuttling the negotiations. Ever wonder why Universal was in such a pants-on-fire rush to get that ride built? It didn't want to be caught for any length of time without a replacement for its all-time highest-rated attraction, so it rushed plans to dupe the Transformers ride from Singapore and Hollywood. Maybe I'm wrong here. But I'd love to hear a more convincing explanation for why Universal pulled the idea to build Transformers in Orlando out of nowhere and put it into the park in mere months. (Leak to me, people. You know where to find me.)

What about Kong? More screens there! Let's look at the unusual context around the creation of that experience, too. When a backlot fire at Universal Studios Hollywood in 2008 destroyed the Kong Encounter on the Studio Tour, Universal knew it needed a replacement. With Peter Jackson having directed a reboot of Kong for Universal in 2005, the park chose to turn to Jackson to help develop a new Kong encounter, based on his film. At that point, every encounter on the Studio Tour was practical, which actually made little sense given how much of filmmaking in the 21st century is digitally-based. Adding a digital encounter on the tour helped alleviate a deficiency on the attraction.

So when Universal decided to return Kong to Orlando, it had a wildly popular attraction from California to offer. But instead of simply duping King Kong: 360/3D, Universal plussed it. It encased the Hollywood Kong encounter in richly decorated new practical setting, added an extra video scene, then installed an animatronic and live actors in the queue, and finished the ride with a massive new Kong animatronic for its finale.

But the haters ignored the animatronics and the actors and grunted, "no more screens!"

We didn't know it yet, but Kong established a template that Universal followed this year with Race Through New York with Jimmy Fallon. That attraction features another screen-based ride, with a flying theater, but it also includes a richly decorated setting, a character meet and greet, and a live musical performance.

I know that Universal's critics simply want to see a more diverse mix of attraction experiences across the park, including animatronics, coasters, dark rides, water rides, live shows, and, yes, even screens. I do, too. But instead of balancing its overall portfolio by building no-screen rides exclusively for a while, Universal is blazing a new path toward creating that balance.

With Kong and now Fallon, Universal is creating a diversity of experiences within each of its new attractions. They're not just screen rides. They're hybrids that employ screens, live performances, and for Kong, animatronics, on top of different ride platforms in either case. Kong and Fallon advance a model expands the definition of a theme park attraction beyond "a queue and a thing." They can involve multiple narrative elements — live, filmed, and mechanical — that launch from the moment you enter, not when you reach the load platform or pre-show area.

If this is the new model at Universal, balance will arrive soon enough. (Heck, rip out Shrek and Minion Mayhem in Orlando in favor of that animatronic Minion dark ride of my dreams, and the resort would be there right then.) So please excuse me for sitting out the "no more screens at Universal!" furor. I think what Universal is doing with its theme park attractions is fascinating, not lamentable.

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