So you're not the nicest person on the planet. Who cares? These people who hate on you have the option to just unfollow/fuck off. Don't let them get you down because you aren't all sugar and sweet things.

it’s not even about that - like if i can’t even get decent people to see what i’m talking about then it’s hopeless society is going to continue how it is because even people i have hope in can’t see how they have power over me or other people they talk to. and they won’t acknowledge it when it applies to themselves even if they can acknowledge it on a grander scale

like i can’t even be friends with people it turns out? because they’d rather stay blind they don’t want to listen

even my family, even many people close to me

so i don’t even know anymore

i don’t want to even be here anymore what is the point?

if society does change it will be longer after i’m gone

i don’t want to live all the time - no one gets that how alienating it is

why would anyone want to live in this society???

where certain groups of people are programmed to disparage and dismiss others? and hate them?

where the things and people that are very good and beautiful and have incredible potential to enrich our lives are sullied and devalued and destroyed and demonized all the time?

it’s like being in wonderland, where everything is upside down and messed up and the rules are wacky but everyone acts like they’re normal and fine

how can you not feel like you’re going crazy if you aren’t already how can you either feel a ) wrong or b) right and hopeless

that is why i can’t relate to so many people

that is why i can’t see the point

maybe i’m too selfish to think of my great great grandchildren living in a world that could conceivably be an improvement from this one if i spend the rest of my life being miserable and bitter and working hard

when i gain hope of fortitude deep down there’s the misery in knowing it is either impermanent or fool hardy

so that is why i don’t want to care anymore but i can’t not care

that is why i don’t want to be around so many people anymore

that is why i don’t want to be here anymore or interact with anyone

i would kill myself if i had the bravery but i doubt i will so i don’t know what i’m going to do next