WASHINGTON, D.C. — UnNews has received EXCLUSIVE reports from 2020 Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden's closest campaign associates that he has selected South Park, Colorado elementary school vice principal Strong Woman to join him on the Democratic ticket as he faces off against incumbent U.S. President Donald Trump in what is sure to be one of the most titillating and historic presidential elections in modern U.S. history. This selection comes after the nation had been sitting through months of suspense waiting to see which strong woman the former vice president would select. Biden has followed through on a pledge he made in March, where he stated that he would select a strong woman as his running mate, likely one who is athletic, has experience raising numerous P.C. babies, and has the qualifications necessary to effectively administrate a Colorado elementary school. (Full article...)