After “hockey player” and “fashion magazine editor” and "bar owner" and “advertising executive” and “dancer/model” and everything else we’ve failed to list, Sean Avery recently decided to try on “Broadway thespian” as pastime, taking a role on Christy-Smith Sloman’s new play “Positive Is Negative.”

It was supposed to be Avery’s stage debut, and the first time he would have been relevant on Broadway since John Tortorella benched him ...

Alas, it appears Avery will not be joining the ranks of Frank Langella, Alfred Molina and Shrek as Broadway icons. According to Page Six, Avery had a “Shia LaBeouf-style meltdown” and quit his new play days before its opening.

From the NY Post:

On Monday, Avery left rehearsals early after growing agitated. On Tuesday, Avery’s behavior grew worse. According to Smith-Sloman, when a young assistant stage manager named Natalie asked the athlete-turned-actor if he wanted a slice of pizza, he said no, but somehow thought the assistant had called him an “a–hole."

(Imagine the comedy of errors when someone on the street asks Sean Avery where Ray’s Originlal A-Holes is located in the city.)

“He said I was ‘talking s–t’ and said I was ‘so full of s–t,'” Natalie, who was left in tears, told us. “That’s when I realized that I was dealing with a madman.”

(In fairness, if there’s anyone qualified to identify “s—t talkin”…)

Next, director Andreas Robertz said Avery told him, “Don’t you know who I am?!” and stormed out.

(“I’m the guy who eventually got bored with being a unique talent in the NHL and decided to become a professional Page Six item!”)

Smith-Sloman said that Avery is “a playwright’s worst nightmare,” replacing the previous title holder, Hard Drive Crashes.

An understudy is scheduled to take on Avery’s pivotal role of “best friend to the main character.” No word if Martin Brodeur still has that receipt for the bag of tomatoes he planned to bring to opening night.