The biggest fight my wife and I have engaged in so far this year was over the band Rush. I think our biggest fight in 2010 was Rush-related as well. I’m not sure whether this speaks to the strength of our marriage or my love for the rock power trio from Canada. Probably a little of both.

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For the record, I’m guilty of starting every one of these arguments. They happen like this:

1. We’re sitting on the couch or in bed. I ask my wife if she’s starting to like the band.

2. She answers evasively — something like “Well, I like you …”

3. I press the issue.

4. She says “I bleeping hate Rush.”

5. I get really angry and demand that she apologize.

6. She doesn’t.

I can never speak as clearly as I write, especially when I’m feeling crushed and betrayed, so my ensuing pro-Rush argument to my wife is always poorly constructed. “But they rock!” I’ll plead. My secondary arguments are even less convincing. “I mean, listen to them! They rock!”

Now that I’m calm and collected — a state reached after listening to side two of “Permanent Waves” — I thought this would be a good time to craft a more layered argument. The timing is also right, because tickets for the band’s June 26 show in Concord go on sale Saturday. (More information here.)

My pro-Rush arguments are below. Your thoughts are welcome in the comments.

No one gets their ass kicked at a Rush show: For geeks growing up in the 1970s or 80s, there were only a few places where a guy could go to be social, and not worry about getting beaten up: Dungeons and Dragons conventions, video game arcades and Rush concerts. The culture of Rush fans reflects the band, which can best be described as a collegial collection of outcasts. Rush fans are good to each other. I’ve never seen a fight at a Rush show. If the Rush fan on your left pukes on you during “New World Man,” I can practically guarantee that the Rush fan on the right will help you clean it off.

Rush is fundamentally optimistic: With a few exceptions, most good bands are fueled by two things: depression and vengeance. This can get old for fans, when an artist finds success and continues to mine the same themes. (See: Eminem and his mother issues.) Members of Rush have gone through some very tough times. But they operate from the position that life is good and should be savored, and reflect these themes strongly in their music. “Freeze this moment a little bit longer.” “You can do a lot in a lifetime, if you don’t burn out too fast.” “I will choose freewill.” Rush is like Christian music for agnostics.

Rush can play their instruments: This is such a huge understatement, that it seems ridiculous to even make it part of the argument. It’s like saying you like gravity because it keeps you from flying into outer space. So if you have any questions, just watch this.

Rush doesn’t care what you look like: You can be a 6 out of 10, and still be the hottest guy at a Rush concert. While the band’s fan base is diverse, I also suspect that many have been eating out of vending machines for the past 30 years. And yet … Rush doesn’t care. It’s about the music, not the scene. The last time I saw them, Geddy Lee was wearing mom jeans and a T-shirt that I’m pretty sure I saw earlier in the day at Target. Rush just wants to rock you. They don’t care about appearances, and you don’t have to either.

Neil Peart may or may not be human: Listen to this and fast-forward to the 3:52 mark. That sounds like the drum fill of some kind of advanced alien species. My theory: Neil Peart was sent here from another planet to kill us, but he discovered a drum set, joined Rush and totally forgot about it. So technically, Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson saved the world. You’re welcome, Rush haters.

rushisaband.com

Anyone can be a Rush fan: I think Rush fandom is a latent trait, and completely transcends age, race and other demographics. My friends who are Rush fanatics are wildly diverse, and often people who you would never guess would be into a prog rock band.

Rush doesn’t give a @#$% what anyone thinks: But definitely not in a a**hole-ish way. The band hit a crossroads during a sputtering patch early in its career — and had to decide whether to make an industry-friendly album or do what they wanted to do. They chose the latter, figuring it would be career suicide, but at least they would have an album they love. That record was “2112.” It was incredibly weird and hugely successful, and from that point on, Rush has stubbornly done whatever the @#$% they want. Fans like me find this extremely endearing, even when they continue to play the synthesizer-era music 25 years later.

(If you’re a serious fan or just a casual one, make sure to check out the documentary “Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage.” It explains the above about 50 times better than I just did.)

There are understandable reasons why clear-thinking people will never love this band. Geddy Lee’s voice can sound like a sea lion getting tasered. Their lyrics are best understood if you have a Dungeon Master’s Guide and the collected works of Ayn Rand as reference material. (Rush once recorded a 8 minute, 31 second song about a guy named By-Tor who fights a snow dog.)

I’ve all but given up trying to prosthelytize on behalf of Rush. Unlike “The Wire,” comic books, local rap music and other things I like that I’ve pushed on my friends over the years, handing out Rush mix tapes is basically useless. Rush must be accepted on one’s own terms. When the student is ready, the Red Barchetta will appear …

And if it doesn’t? I’m ready to accept the fact that my loved ones will never enjoy listening to Rush. All I ask is that you respect the idea of Rush.

I’m a father with two boys, and that’s strengthened my feelings for the band. When I consider the many different ways my kids could develop, I often think “I hope they turn out like Rush fans.” Every single one I’ve gotten to know well has been interesting and cool. I can’t wait for the next concert.

PETER HARTLAUB is the pop culture critic at the San Francisco Chronicle and founder of this parenting blog, which admittedly sometimes has nothing to do with parenting. Follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/peterhartlaub. Your questions answered on VYou at www.vyou.com/peterhartlaub.