BATON ROUGE, LA—In response to the spate of shootings that have erupted across the country in recent weeks, the U.S. populace told reporters Monday it was struggling to keep track of how far along it was in all the various grieving processes it was currently going through. “It’s getting really hard to juggle all the different stages of grief I’m in—I’m pretty sure there were at least four tragedies I was trying to come to grips with yesterday when I learned about the senseless attack on police officers in Baton Rouge, which plunged me right back into the earliest stage of shock and despair,” said Gaithersburg, MD resident Katelyn Robbins, echoing the sentiment of millions of Americans who, after witnessing the slew of horrific events, have frequently had to pause to remind themselves of the extent of their emotional progress in their overlapping mourning processes. “Right now, I’m trying to finally reach some closure regarding the Orlando nightclub shooting while also still resolving my anger from last week’s Dallas massacre. And this whole time, I feel like I’ve been stalled on working through my sadness over Philando Castile’s shooting because I’ve been so busy dealing with all the new tragedies that keep popping up. Honestly, it’s a bit overwhelming trying to keep all of my feelings straight.” The nation then expressed its wish for at least a solid week without an unconscionable act of violence so it could make some headway on all its grieving, but admitted that was probably unrealistic.

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