Does not actually provide abortions.

Remember how the House Republicans came to power in 2010 with their whole "jobs, jobs, jobs, all we care about are jobs" pitch? And how they haven't actually done anything on jobs because apparently, they think all the jobs are hidden in American women's lady parts?

Well, here's yet another not-a-jobs idea from the super-geniuses of the Republican House:



A Homeland Security spending bill approved by the GOP-led House on Thursday includes a provision to bar Immigration and Customs Enforcement from providing abortions for illegal immigrant detainees.

Oh, sure. Go to Planned Parenthood for your abortions if you must—after all, that's 237 percent of what they do there, according to various not-intended-to-be-factual Republican statements—but all the hippest chicks know ICE is the place to go for all your lady part needs. When you're not getting your pap smears at Walgreens , that is.

So how is this latest bill supposed to create jobs, save the economy, and preserve democracy for lightbulb freedom?



The measure, proposed by Rep. Robert Aderholt, R-Ala., would block ICE from using agency funding to provide abortion services for detainees except in the case of rape, incest or if there life of the mother would be endangered.

Oh, okay. So immigration officials won't be allowed to spend any more of our taxpayer dollars on abortions. Austerity and all. Guess it's a good thing Republicans are spending their time trying to save us a buck, right?

Except for one teeny, tiny, barely-worth-mentioning detail:



Barbara Gonzalez, an ICE spokeswoman, said the agency has not paid for abortion services since its 2003 creation.

Never mind.

It's time to get these not-jobs-creating, time-wasting, conspiracy theorizing, lady part fetishists out of office so we can get back to actually focusing on real problems.

Let's help Democrats take back the House and get that gavel back to Nancy Pelosi. Chip in $3 or whatever you can to elect House Democrats.