The Best Advice For New Parents

There is no sugar coating it. Parenting is the most fulfilling and wondrous thing you will ever experience, but it is hard! It can be gut-wrenching. Which is why this post offers REAL advice for parents to be.

It gets easier. Sleep will come, eventually, and you will feel more like yourself again. It’s okay to cry. Parenting is a job like any other job. No one loves their job 100% of the time. Don’t listen to others. Do it YOUR way. Ponytails are technically a hair-do. It’s okay not to “love” every moment of motherhood. It’s okay to go back to work. You are your own worst critic. No one is judging you more than you are judging yourself. You don’t have to do what the books say. Do what feels right for you. If you don’t have a job or other kids to take care of, remove the clocks from your house. Sleep when you and baby want to, eat when you want to. Even the best parents don’t know what they’re doing sometimes. We’re all just winging it. Don’t compare yourself to others. You are you. Besides, you may not be comparing yourself to a true picture. Be kind to yourself. Take a break. It’s okay to make mistakes. If you think there is something wrong, there probably is. Check it out! It’s okay if you don’t fall in love with your baby right away. You may need more naps than what you’d expect. Sometimes you will feel stuck in the middle of your kids. Sleep deprivation sucks but it won’t kill you. Being a mother is THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB YOU WILL EVER HAVE. Try to enjoy it. No really, actually try to enjoy it. Days will seem slow but years fly by in the blink of an eye. The best you can do is to love your children, your husband and yourself. Your friends will eventually understand why, as a mother of a baby, you look like a zombie. Breakfast for dinner is okay. Kids love it! Treat yourself as you would treat someone else who is overwhelmed. You can feel 40 different emotions within 5 minutes. Sometimes, all at once! Asking for help is a WIN, not a fail. Having fun is way more important than following imaginary rules set by supposedly perfect parents or experts who’ve never been parents themselves. Stressing over the little things is not worth it. We can have all we want. We just can’t have it all at once. Celebrate the small victories. Is everyone fed, clothed and seemingly happy? If so – good job. Don’t compare your worst days to someone else’s best days. It’s okay to cosleep or not to cosleep. Who cares what others say. All this will pass. One day, you’ll be a granny and you will get to see your children being good parents because you were a good parent. Stop trying to make everything perfect. Take time for romance, despite the exhaustion, mommy belly, etc. Mothering: If you can still laugh at yourself, you’re doing it right. Household chores can wait. Say yes to your children as often as you can, provided they are safe and happy. As soon as you are able to, develop a routine, and include a shower for yourself. There is no prize for being Supermom. Stop trying to be one. Motherhood is NOT a competition. Pinterest, Facebook, and the internet, in general, are not going away. Check those out later when your kids are asleep. Your children come first. It’s all temporary. They really do grow fast, and in the end, you will remember only the good stuff. If you remember the bad stuff, it will seem funny. A bad day doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. Being a mom doesn’t mean you have to give up on the things you love – the things that make you, you. If the day didn’t go well, try again tomorrow. The 2am, 4am, 6am feedings will pass. It does get better. It’s okay not to be good at scrapbooking. It’s okay if everything is piled away in a box that you will likely never sort through. Choose your battles. Any person who makes the baby and toddler years sound wonderful is no longer in it. Either that or they have a nanny or au-pair. You don’t have to do it all. In a few years, you won’t be sorry about taking your kids to the drive-thru for dinner. Your kids think you’re amazing and beautiful. Laugh out loud when there are cereal and flour and milk all over the floor, and permanent marker on the couch. Laugh when you think your house cannot look any worse. Postpartum depression can last for up to a year. They won’t remember the messy house. They’ll remember that they were loved. Don’t stress over the fact that they’re watching ‘another’ show or something that is not perfect – especially when you’ve had a hard day. When you think your kids cannot be any more disobedient or negligent or irresponsible or whatever, take a moment for yourself and go watch a comedy or a sitcom. Spend time with your child – the dishes/ laundry/ whatever can wait. Don’t analyze your marriage or your life in the first year after your baby is born. Even on the days that you doubt yourself, your kids will still think you’re the best. Your body will never be the same, but it would still be beautiful. Asking for help just to take a shower, or to go to the bathroom, is okay. There is no right way. It’s your way. Have more snowball fights.

Note From The Author (Advice For New Parents)

Thanks for reading “Advice for New Parents.” From one mom to another, I do hope it’s helpful. I hope it helps you realize that we all feel overwhelmed and incapable and… fill in the blanks. But knowing there are others who are feeling the same way, makes you feel less alone.

If I could leave you with one thing – It’s temporary. That feeling of being overwhelmed, the sleepless nights, the messy house.

If you have even more advice for new parents, definitely add it in the comments. We’d be happy to add it to the list because THIS is a community service of moms helping moms.