This is a family website, so I couldn’t go with the headline I really wanted, which is #TrumpLovesPecker. The genesis of such a beautifully yin-yang, karmic hashtag is just desserts for Donald Trump and his army of basement-dwelling twitiots.

(Did you notice that? I invented two words so far: “dirter” and “twitiots.” If I was Jonah Goldberg, The Couch would fall over dead.)

Levity aside–after all today is Holy Saturday, the day after Good Friday and before Resurrection Sunday–the Trump/Cruz battle is headed for the cake topper of dirty, nasty low-flying campaigns. At least on one side. I can’t defend Ted Cruz for his missteps like his campaign telling Iowa caucus-goers that Ben Carson is exiting the race, or (badly) doctoring an image of Marco Rubio.

But that’s nothing compared to the whispering, heresay-laced, innuendo-fueled destruction that Trump has heaved upon us. And the latest has got to rival the worst since Jefferson accused Adams of having a “hideous hermaphroditical character, which has neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman.” To which the Jefferson campaign replied, calling Adams “a mean-spirited, low-lived fellow, the son of a half-breed Indian squaw, sired by a Virginia mulatto father.”

And then there was Karl Rove, a man with a category of his own in campaign dirt. I wrote before South Carolina:

As an aside, 2000 was a dirtier campaign than this one, if that’s possible. Karl Rove planted a terrible (and false) rumor about McCain fathering an illegitimate black child, among other smear campaigns against McCain. McCain never recovered.

But having your pal at the National Enquirer, which endorsed Trump just two weeks ago bearing the cover “Trump MUST be President!” publish a compendium of hacked-together rumors packaged as an enormous Cruz sex scandal is beyond dirt. It’s dirter, or dirtier to use proper grammar and real words.

It’s not news that Trump is a good friend of American Media CEO David Pecker. Pecker runs the parent company of the National Enquirer. It’s not news that other campaigns had unsuccessfully tried to get media to bite on various completely unsupported innuendoes about Cruz (my God, he went to lunch with a woman!).

Trump has repeatedly praised Pecker and tweeted several times in 2013 that his pal should be named the new CEO of Time magazine. The tabloid has provided Trump’s presidential bid with glowing coverage, and has been rewarded with “exclusive” interviews. In January, “America’s most popular presidential candidate” gave a two-part interview on the “most intimate details of [his] amazing life!” Trump is even an occasional National Enquirer contributor. “Trump is a big friend of Pecker,” an anonymous source told the New York Daily News, claiming that the billionaire reality TV star is “protected” by the Enquirer. “So no John Edwards-type investigations … Some of the staff are furious. Trump’s such fertile ground, and it drives them crazy to not only be staying away from it, but running puff pieces for him.”

Trump has issued the usual denials, using the free press opportunities to plaster the airwaves with his favorite nickname for Cruz (which I won’t indulge by quoting him).

And if Schadenfreude weren’t a sin, especially so close to the holiest day on the Christian calendar (which makes this whole sordid affair even more despicable), I would delight in what’s been trending on Twitter in the last 24 hours. It gives everyone who has dealt with Trump’s twitiots ammunition to shut them up, and it’s marvelous.

In response to Trump stooge Roger Stone’s slam on Cruz:

https://twitter.com/RogerJStoneJr/status/713516710075232256

We can now say this.

I continue to be impressed with @tedcruz uncanny ability to say pecker with a straight face #TrumplovesPecker https://t.co/sAZ99rQMHS — Jaq 🦋 (@fitethegoodfite) March 26, 2016

And this.

https://twitter.com/PolitiBunny/status/713580953067651072

And author Brad Thor has had quite a time with it.

https://twitter.com/BradThor/status/713578654052302849

https://twitter.com/BradThor/status/713591009855279104

And it’s been very effective.

https://twitter.com/Mmarie2539/status/713574864368615424

And the always-acid musings from the Ace of Spades crowd.

Sure it's juvenile, but I have to admit it does make me chuckle to see #TrumpLovesPecker trending reasonably hard on Twitter. — Esoteric Jeff (@EsotericCD) March 26, 2016

I think we’ve all given this the old college try, and hopefully have raised the collective blood pressure of Trumpkins worldwide. I think Donald himself, however, probably enjoyed it–towel-snapper that he is.

One more.

I have to apologize for helping to start the #TrumpLovesPecker hashtag trend. Whatever you do, don't use it. It makes racists mad. — Chris Loesch (@ChrisLoesch) March 26, 2016

Okay, that’s enough.

The whole point of the Twitter trend is to hopefully get mainstream media to report on it (they won’t), or to get Breitbart or Drudge to publish anything other than softball Trump lovefests (they won’t).

But they should also drop what’s arguably the worst story of the 2016 campaign. No, this is not Gary Hart, or even Herman Cain. There’s zero truth to it, it’s harmful, and it’s another reason Donald Trump and his “friends” should never be permitted within a thousand miles of the White House, politically speaking.