Subject: D-3898-09

Procedure: Subject instructed to move as near as possible to the object without making physical contact. Test coordinators instructed by Lead Researcher Khan to maintain continual, conversational verbal contact with test subject to better gauge psychological alterations. Transcript follows.

(D-3898-09 is directed into the containment enclosure. The hatch closes behind him.)

D-3898-09: That's not ominous.

Senior Researcher Reynolds: Do you see the object, 09?

(D-3898-09 turns away from the door and faces the center of the chamber.)

D-3898-09: Ah, yes. Having been to medical school, I can identify that as an 'anchor'.

Senior Researcher Reynolds: Listen carefully, 09. Quickly approach the object and position yourself as close to it as possible.

D-3898-09: Is it going to eat me?

Senior Researcher Reynolds: No. Please proceed.

D-3898-09: Only because you asked so nicely.

(D-3898-09 walks toward SCP-3898 at a brisk pace, and stops .3 meters from it. He places his hands on his hips.)

D-3898-09: What happens now?

(pause)

Senior Researcher Reynolds: Stand by, 09.

(D-3898-09 crosses his arms, and stands silently for 32 seconds. He then reaches up to wipe a tear from his eye. He looks at his hand, and sniffs.)

D-3898-09: Odd. I don't…

(D-3898-09 smiles. Tears begin to run down his face.)

Senior Researcher Reynolds: Is something wrong, D-3898-09?

D-3898-09: … No. I don't think so. Nothing… specific. I'm not sure what's come over me, I feel… strange. Like… sinking.

Senior Researcher Reynolds: Can you clarify?

(Subject's eyes widen.)

D-3898-09: Do you ever feel hopeless, doctor?

Senior Researcher Reynolds: I suppose. Doesn't everybody feel that way sometimes?

(Subject laughs)

D-3898-09: Yes, they do! They feel hopeless when their car breaks down. They feel hopeless when they botch a presentation at work, or get a bad grade on a test. When they get hurt, or when someone they love stops loving them back.

(Subject begins to sob, still smiling.)

D-3898-09: They feel hopeless when they are told they will be dead soon. When a loved one passes away. When they stray too far, and they know they'll never be able to make their way back to where they were meant to be.

(Pause)

D-3898-09: But this is different from all of that. It takes my breath away. It feels like lead bars in my lungs. I can feel it press my shoulders down, and my spine is bending.

(D-3898-09 turns to face the containment chamber's observation window, which is hidden behind a polarized concealment plate. D-3898-09 was not informed that he would be under visual observation prior to test commencement.)

D-3898-09: Doctor, you hilarious waste. I can see what you see. And I know what you know. We're standing right in front of a leaking dam. There are so many things behind it and each one is better at what it does than the last and standing between them and our lives is… you? You and your colleagues? I can see it in your face. I can see the truth behind your eyes. And I understand it so much better than you do.

(D-3898-09 turns back, and regards SCP-3898. His eyes widen, and he brings his hands to his mouth. He stares over SCP-3898, as though able to see something on the far side of the chamber. He places his hands at his sides.)

D-3898-09: And you.

(Subject laughs)

D-3898-09: I can see you, too. I know what you're asking for, and it won't be me. I refuse you. You don't get to suck away what fucking little I had left to live for, my last shred of fucking ignorance, and expect me to do anything more than crumble. I can see you, down at the very bottom. I CAN SEE YOU HIDING DOWN THERE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

(D-3898-09 pauses, as though listening.)

D-3898-09: Fuck you. No. I know what'll happen.

(Pause)

D-3898-09: Because I am not strong enough. And you fucking knew that already.

(D-3898-09 begins inserting his thumbs into his eye sockets, without exclaiming or otherwise reacting to any pain this action causes.)

D-3898-09: The burden is heavy. And I am weak.

(D-3898-09 successfully destroys his own eyes before Senior Researcher Reynolds is able to activate the pacification system. D-3898-09 is removed from the containment enclosure by remotely operated retrieval system and submitted for medical treatment.)