The most surreal part of this routine is that his opponents don't tend to disagree with him openly. Instead, they simply pretend that he hasn't spoken at all, or that whatever he's said has been catastrophically misinterpreted.

This produces some bizarre moments, such as on Sunday when the Opposition spokesman for the environment, Greg Hunt, under questioning from the ABC's Barrie Cassidy after a week of increasingly hysterical public division within the Libs, began an answer: "Well, firstly, everybody in their public statements has been absolutely clear about where we're at." With respect to Hunt, who may well himself have been quite clear at regular intervals, this was about as convincing as Amy Winehouse kicking off an answer with: "As you know, if there's one thing I simply cannot bear, it's recreational drug use." But you can understand why the colleagues might retreat into denial.

Nelson has a strange approach to problem-solving, in which he operates both as canary and mine shaft. When confronted with a twisty political or philosophical conundrum, he'll dabble with both sides of the argument, always passionately, sometimes angrily, and occasionally simultaneously.

His delivery is often backfilled with personal anecdote about poor or blighted people of his direct acquaintance; this tends to muddy the waters and prevent a clear view of his opinion. On the questions of the national apology and climate change, it became clear over a period of months that what Nelson was actually doing was conducting an argument with himself. For a leader to argue with himself in public is bad enough. But what makes it worse is that he keeps losing. The substantial result is that colleagues of Nelson's have stopped responding to what he says.

Nelson now needs a permanent asterisk above his head for the purposes of any broadcast, with a discreet disclaimer down the bottom of the screen. "Views expressed are the opinion of the speaker at this moment. They do not necessarily represent the views of the Liberal Party. They do not necessarily represent the views of the shadow cabinet. They almost certainly will not represent the views of the speaker by about 10 past four tomorrow afternoon."

This is bad news for any politician. But it could be worse. Imagine if Dr Disclaimer were actually your GP?

The first consultation would sound something like this: "Good morning. First of all, I'd like to acknowledge the traditional owners of this surgery. And the great Australians, from the prime ministers to the graziers to the bloke who runs the Wendy's in Launceston (G'day mate!), who have made this nation the proud, big-spirited place it is today. On my way into the consulting rooms today, I was stopped in the street by a little old lady. She was carrying a tin with $3 worth of petrol in it. And she said to me: 'Brendan'. (I always ask that people call me Brendan.) 'Brendan,' she said. 'I'm not rich or important. I don't have a medical degree. But I've got this rash on my arm. Can you help me?' And that's what this health system is all about. And if I ever forget that little old lady, if I ever turn my back on her, then you can go ahead and repierce my ear, because you'll know I've given up. In your own case, I'm absolutely convinced it's a cold. Which is not to say it's not cancer."

You might be forgiven for feeling confused. By the second consultation, you'd be dead, and probably featuring in one of Nelson's famous reveries about dead people he has known. One of the surest signs that Dr Disclaimer's goose is cooked came on Thursday night, when Hunt returned to the airways to praise him so effusively that no doubt could possibly remain of his imminent demise.

"Brendan Nelson will lead us to the election and he will do that because he is a very driven individual with a passion for Australia, a passion for the challenges that mums and dads and pensioners face. He is not taken by the rich and famous, the high and mighty. He actually enjoys and loves going to … whether it's the Camden or the Campbelltown or the Berwick or the Pakenham shopping centres," Hunt insisted during a Lateline interview. This is politics, where the richer the praise, the cooler the corpse.