There are pros and cons to both live and online poker. Live poker tends to be easier on a per game basis but the speed of online play means that a profitable player can make more money overall. Online poker is more comfortable and allows you to focus more on the gameplay aspects rather than the social stuff like keeping a ‘poker face’ and observing your opponents. Live poker can be a lot of fun and is generally more exciting than playing online. The pure euphoria of stacking piles of chips after taking down a huge pot is something online poker can never duplicate. However, live poker also involves spending time with other people. While this is generally a good thing, as anyone who has ever worked in customer service can tell you, there are some really annoying people in this world. And in live poker there is no mute button, no ‘block chat’ function to hush an annoying table-mate in order to maintain your focus and composure. And since not all annoying poker players are created equally, I’ve broken them down into what I consider to be the 3 worst types of offenders.

The Trench Coat Guy

Much like the pervert in the trench coat who gets off by exposing himself to you against your will, the poker version of the ‘trench coat guy’ is obsessed with showing you his hole cards as he’s about to fold. It usually goes something like this: TCG calls a raise with QJ of hearts, flop comes 852 of spades and his opponent bets. As he’s folding TCG tries to get your attention and shows you his cards. He shakes his head and tries to make eye contact with you, as if to say ‘can you believe this beautiful hand didn’t connect with the flop??’. Be careful. Engage him once and he’ll be exposing himself to you all day long.

The Eager Beaver

The ‘eager beaver’ is someone who doesn’t really belong at the poker table. They’re not concerned with strategy or gameplay, but rather the excitement of gambling. They spend most of their time playing fast paced games like slots or blackjack and simply can’t wait for their turn at the poker table. They constantly act early, either folding their cards prematurely or raising before it’s their turn. The worst part is that this usually sets off a chain reaction in which the players behind them will follow along once they’ve seen the eager beaver take an action. Also, they never stop doing this no matter how many times they’re warned or criticized.

The Over-Confident Hero

The worst offender of the bunch, the ‘over-confident hero’ is always dying to share their poker wisdom with you. They love talking strategy out loud and will often go into great detail about their own thought process. When they win, it’s because of skill and when they lose it’s due to luck. Their over-confidence often inspires them to play too many hands and they love making self-congratulatory statements which can’t actually be verified, such as the old classic: ‘yep, that’s what I put you on’ after you table your hand. They’re loud, confrontational and arrogant when things are going well and turn into entitled toddlers when things don’t go their way. They will never give you credit for outplaying them. I was trying to think of a famous example of such a player, but I just can’t think of any. I mean, what kind of person would act like that on televi…

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