We are given to believe that Premier League managers are becoming as impatient as Premier League fans, with Antonio Conte, Jürgen Klopp, Rafael Benítez, José Mourinho and Mauricio Pochettino among those already reported at some point this summer to be close to flouncing off in anger at their club’s failure to land all their transfer targets. We are in the first week of July. So far this impatience seems to be confined to transfer dealings but the way this unreasonableness is going, don’t be surprised to see Conte booing his own substitutions if Chelsea are trailing in the Community Shield or Sean Dyche waving a white hankie at himself if Burnley concede a late goal on the opening day of the season.

As for Arsène Wenger, well, presumably he’s at Elstree Aerodome as we speak, taking flying lessons so that he can personally pilot a plane dragging a Sack the Board banner if Arsenal don’t get a big deal over the line soon. Granted, an announcement of the signing of Alexandre Lacazette from Lyon may be just hours away but these are fast-moving times and people who love Arsenal must be already fretting about missing out on the next targets: for example, why the heck is Riyad Mahrez still at Leicester? And is it really true, as reported today, that Arsenal are plotting a £70m double-swoop for Sporting Lisbon’s William Carvalho and Gelson Martins? If it is, why hasn’t it been done yet? Waah! Waaaaaaah!

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Meanwhile, Marc Bartra is said to the latest person whose absence from Manchester is causing Mourinho to fume, as the United manager added the name of the Borussia Dortmund defender to his wish list many hours ago.

Pretty much the only Premier League manager not thought to be on the verge of an almighty strop at the moment is Ronald Koeman, who is understood to be satisfied by his current diet of being treated to a new player every other day. But there must still be scope for him to start stomping his feet at Everton’s inability to organise a coming home party for Wayne Rooney. After 13 years at Manchester United, the striker is said to be keen on a return to his boyhood club. Because once a blue, always a blue, and China’s very far away. Everton have real ambitions of gatecrashing the top four, at least, next season and it’s very doubtful that a club with such aspirations should be able to give a regular game to Rooney, so perhaps Koeman classes the striker/midfielder/defender in that curious “good to have around the place” category? The Mill can’t help thinking that Javier Hernández would be a better to have around most places at this stage and West Ham, for one, seem to agree, as they’re close to signing the Mexican striker for £13m. That’s peanuts for the Little Pea.

Meanwhile at Chelsea, Conte is understood to be on the verge of calming down for a minute, as the club are poised to complete the capture of Alex Sandro from Juventus for a very large fee. The Mill would tell you how much but does not know yet and, besides, does it even matter any more?

Ravel Morrison is close to agreeing a deal to join Birmingham City, one of the 68 clubs where he has had a loan spell in the past. Southampton are making a move for Caen’s 18-year-old striker Yann Karamoh, while Newcastle are on the tail of have just signed the Eibar defender Florian Lejeune. Swansea want Coventry’s midfielder George Thomas to believe they are hotter stuff than Leicester, Rangers or Newcastle.

Finally, Paris Saint-Germain are intent on atoning for an embarrassing last season by signing one or all of Kylian Mbappé, Ousmane Dembélé and James Rodríguez. Monaco, meanwhile, want to start their rebuilding by buying Keita Baldé from Lazio, but the Senegalese is also wanted by – you guessed it – Everton.