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Dear Mr. Goldman,

It sucks that I’m having to contact you, but I came home early last night and found Stacy sleeping with another man. It was kind of a slap in the face, I knew our marriage would get dull but it has only been 5 years. Anyways, I can’t and don’t compete with the other guy, Stacy obviously wants to be with him. He’s a complete alpha male and has every quality of a person I hate but I just want Stacy to be happy. If we could start the divorce papers ASAP that would be great.

Thanks,

Alex

Dear Mr. Goldman,

Please get back to me ASAP, I’m starting to get weirded out. The other day I saw Stacy crush up some pink pill and put it in my drink. I didn’t drink it but it’s been weeks since I confronted her about the affair, who knows how much of this stuff she has given me. She has been much more up front about cheating on me too, which is odd. You might have to start filing a restraining order too.

Thanks,

Alex

Dear Mr Goldman,

Um do you think you could you stop sending me mail? I think you have me mixed up with someone else, my name is Alexa, not Alex. There is nobody here who is even eligible for a divorce! My sister Stacy is engaged to this total hottie, but they definitely aren’t married yet. So stop writing to me unless you want to be my sugar daddy!! I’m jk but actually that would actually be rad I have a thing for lawyers Ohmygosh that would actually be so perf! I’m attaching a pic I hope you like what you see

Text me if you want to get dinner!

292-817-9281

Alexa