The Overwhelmed, Underqualified Fraud’s Secret to Crushing Goals

When I was in an admittedly low point in my life, I wrote down some of my goals on plain, faded yellow sticky notes in ballpoint pen. I hoped they would somehow kick my ass into gear and stop me from feeling worthless and hopelessly disgusted with myself. I plastered them around my studio apartment in places I’d see them most throughout the day. On my headboard read “Be A Better Entrepreneur,” above the control panel of my dehumidifier barked “Be More Creative!” The front of my fridge reminded me to “Take Care Of Your Body” and before heading out the door I’d read to myself “Be Chill.” These were intended to motivate me, to be constant reminders to act a certain way — a little trail of breadcrumbs for where I wanted to end up in life. But every time I read one, I couldn’t help but feel a little ashamed, embarrassed even. They sounded pathetic. I sounded crazy. Needless to say, when my little brother came to visit me, I tossed them all in the trash before anyone could see what I wanted for myself.



Throwing away the reminders didn’t mean I was giving up on my goals. Not at all. They were just a failed attempt at pushing myself. Now, I feel closer than I ever have been to reaching those goals. I’m starting to contribute so much more to my company and even started projects of my own. I am writing, reading, or creating something every day — in my free time and at work. I’ve filled out my gaunt, hollow body with twelve sorely-needed pounds and I exercise regularly. I manage my emotions better and think with more clarity and purpose.

So what was missing in my ingenious sticky note plan? What went wrong?

So Goals It Hurts

The problem with constant reminders and visualizations of your success in order to manifest them is that, at the end of the day, you are acknowledging that you have not yet reached your full potential. Each command you tell yourself, or milestone you scribble way far off in your calendar reinforces the idea that you aren’t there yet. So how could you expect to feel or act like you are? Instead, you might spend your time preparing, doing some research, or putting it off because the milestone is too far away and you have other things on your plate, seemingly unsurmountable woes , that you have to RUN THRU THE SIX deal with first.

I think, though, that all that does is get your wheels turning, giving you some false satisfaction that you’re “on track.” That you’ve got it all figured out. Plan all you want, but once you actually get your feet wet and commit to something, you’ll probably find your time was better spent learning in the thick of it.

More and more I see the importance of moving fast. That applies to huge, life-changing, identity-forming goals and dreams just like I had.

The Best Kind of Catfish

In my experience, the best way to become what you want to be is to simply operate like that’s what you are, and that’s what you’ve always been — even if you’re nowhere near it. I act like a better entrepreneur, being more proactive in my business decisions and making myself heard because that’s what a great leader and business owner would do. Success breeds success. When I think, speak, and act like a “better entrepreneur” as I envisioned for myself, my colleagues realize this, associates respect it, and somehow I’ve found myself more and more opportunities.

When I look in the mirror, I don’t see a six pack. I’m not ripped. Besides the octogenarian regulars and the occasional Zumba instructor, I’m often the smallest dude in the gym. Nonetheless, I’m in there. A bodybuilder would not skip workouts, she’s got too much at stake to maintain and to improve upon! So why would I? I hit my nutrition goals for the day because that’s what my body needs and deserves. That’s what it takes not just to have the body I want, but to maintain it. So that’s what I do.

Maybe You Don’t Actually Suck at Everything After All

I never really considered myself a writer, and that lack of conviction and confidence in myself was one of the biggest forms of “writer’s block” I could have. Now, I write something every day. I’m constantly thinking of new ways to express myself and to hone my craft, because, well, that’s what a writer should be doing. It still doesn’t feel like I’m a writer, but I’m seeing myself described that way, or given bylines in, different publications. Maybe it’s true, then.

Honestly, my past self would be skeptical of an approach like this. I’d probably ask myself something like, “lol y u tryna front?” I still want to do that to this day. But the results don’t lie. To be recognized as a better version of you, before anyone else can acknowledge that truth, you have to convince yourself. Now ask yourself, “what would my ideal self be doing?” and just do it.

Because you can.

Have you been struggling to stay on your game? Are there other topics you’d like me to talk about? Don’t hesitate to send me a question or reply here with a comment — I’m always looking for feedback and ways to improve. Thanks for reading!