Unemployed Florida rage-gator Allen West was just chilling in his rumpus room Sunday night, watching The Big Game, maybe eating some high-fructose-saturated heavily-salted snack foods and washing them down with a refreshing and frosty beverage just like every other Real American, when he saw his beloved country LITERALLY DESTROYED AND CONDEMNED TO A FIERY HELL before his incredulous eyes.

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I speak, of course, of a Coca-Cola commercial aired during the Super Bowl, where Americans of many tongues sang America the Beautiful …. in many tongues. That would be this commercial:

Tell us how you feel about these America haters singing a perfectly lovely song in their primitive gobbeldygook mud languages, Allen:

I’m watching the Super Bowl, looks like good defense (Seattle) is trouncing good offense (Denver) when a Coca Cola commercial came on and it started rather patriotically with the words of “America the Beautiful.” Then the words went from English to languages I didn’t recognize. Now, I know the politically correct thing is to foster multiculturalism — working really well in Europe — but we should remember the words spoken by President Teddy Roosevelt;

West then goes on to quote Teddy R. who said in 1919, and I’ll “shorter” it for you because I know you are a busy person:

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If you dumb foreigners can’t speak ‘Murican in five years, GTFO.

West adds:

I am quite sure there may some who appreciated the commercial, but Coca Cola missed the mark in my opinion. If we cannot be proud enough as a country to sing “American the Beautiful” in English in a commercial during the Super Bowl, by a company as American as they come — doggone we are on the road to perdition. This was a truly disturbing commercial for me, what say you?

I’d say that you are representative of a virulent xenophobic tribe of nativist yahoos who are strangling your party from within, but good luck next time you run for office in Florida where barely is heard a discouraging Spanish word.

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In the meantime, Allen, meet your constituency which includes Fox’s resident pearl-clutching god-bothering bullshit-artist, Todd Starnes:









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Teddy Roosevelt wept…