The oldest mermaid mummy on our radar is this lovely specimen, who apparently snuck up on a Japanese prince 1,400 years ago, just to confess that it was made a mermaid as punishment for fishing in a sanctuary. One description notes that it is 'ravaged by moths'. I guess you know you're old when a moth can ravage you.

The most famous mermaid of all (of ALL!) is the fiji mermaid, a delightful concoction of orangutan and salmon. She was catapulted to fame by PT Barnum when he made her the crowning glory of his freak show. Spectators were lured in by posters depicting beautiful bosomy mermaids, only to be greeted by this.

Perhaps it's a face that only a mother could love, but the sea captain who originally brought it from the West Indies was so obsessed that he sold his ship and ruined his career to have it. He never managed to make a penny from his venture, though, poor guy. She's said to have perished in a warehouse fire.

More recently, this sweet nymph has been appearing in the news – first apparently washing up on the shores of Chennai, India, after the 2005 tsunami, and then found again a few years later sunning herself on a beach in the Philippines.

Though most merfolk are deliberate hoaxes, Juan Cabana makes them as art pieces.

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So to those of you who like this young lady would like to turn into a mermaid, and have already tried standing in a paddling pool and reciting a spell, we say, STOP! Just lay off the moisturizer and sew a dead fish to your bottom.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides will be released 18 May