Konerak was the baby of the family, the one who lived all but 3 of his 14 years in America. He loved Ninja Turtles, Lamborghini sports cars, swimming, soccer, and Tom & Jerry cartoons.

''He was just like an American boy,'' said his oldest brother Anoukone Sinthasomphone, 27.

Despite his American ways, ''Kolak,'' as family members call him, was strictly Laotian in his deference to elders and authority figures.

And that may have been the trait that admitted serial murderer Jeffrey L. Dahmer exploited in stopping the boy`s desperate bid to escape death May 27. Konerak`s remains were among those of 11 people found in Dahmer`s apartment last week.

Twice in less than three years, Jeffrey Dahmer, who has confessed to 17 killings, brought grief to the Sinthasomphone family. In October 1988, Dahmer was convicted of second-degree sexual assault for drugging and molesting one of Konerak`s four brothers, who was 13 at the time.

But family members say none of them, except for the molested boy, would have recognized Dahmer.

''We never saw him. Police officers told us they were going to put him away for good,'' said Anoukone Sinthasomphone. ''We never thought he was going to be out.''

So convinced were they that the family never went to court when Dahmer was tried and sentenced to 1 year of work release from jail and 5 years of probation.

In the May 27 post-midnight encounter, police questioned Dahmer about his pursuit of Konerak, who witnesses described as naked, bleeding, and seemingly drugged. Dahmer apparently convinced officers Konerak was a 19-year-old house guest. Police, who assumed the dazed 14-year-old did not speak English, dismissed the incident as a spat between homosexual lovers.

It isn`t known whether Dahmer knew the two boys were related. The Milwaukee Sentinel on Wednesday quoted sources ''close to the investigation'' as saying Dahmer appeared shocked when he was told the 13 year-old he molested in 1988 and Konerak were brothers.

The May 27 incident has become the focal point of community outrage in Milwaukee over the quality of police service in minority neighborhoods.

But at the Sinthasomphone house on the city`s northwest side, there is only quiet grief.

The family made their way to Milwaukee in 1980 from the Nonkai refugee resettlement camp in Thailand. Nearly a year before, the parents, Sounthone and Sondi, had decided to leave their farm near Vientiane in communist-ruled Laos. Konerak, the baby, could barely remember the trip.

Now he is honored on a coffee table covered with cloth and illuminated by two candles. Set before a photograph of his beaming, animated face are dishes of pork, rice, apples, orange juice, and other foods he liked.

It is a Buddhist custom to set out food for the deceased until a final ceremony puts a soul at rest.

Family members will continue speaking of Konerak in the present tense until then. They recall him as a smiling, happy boy, always making jokes and drawing pictures of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

''This little guy would always be the guy making a joke of everything,''

said Keisone Phalphouvong, Konerak`s 22-year-old sister. ''He is very talkative, but he would never talk back to his older sisters, brothers, or our parents.''

Konerak was in a city park, playing soccer with school friends the day he disappeared. While family members say he was American in many ways, they say his traditional deferenee to elders and authority figures may have caused him to acquiesce in the May 27 incident.

Implications by police officers that the boy did not speak English have angered the family, as has apparent police acceptance of Dahmer`s word that Konerak was 19 years old.

''He has been here since he was 3 years old. English is his main language,'' Anoukone said.

''And there is no way he could look 19,'' he said.

After the 1988 molesting incident, Anoukone said he told all four of his brothers not to talk to strangers, to ''know who they are first.''

Talking through Keisone and Anoukone, the boys` father, Sounthone Sinthasomphone, said he shares the grief of the other victims` families. He also said he hasn`t changed his feelings about America.

''It`s not the country,'' said Keisone, interpreting.

But he is angry with Milwaukee`s criminal justice system for putting Dahmer on the streets and for not telling the family they had done so, Keisone said. The family has had calls from numerous lawyers eager to represent them in a legal action.

But a possible lawsuit is not now a concern for the family. They still await the remains of their son from the Milwaukee County medical examiner so they can put him to rest.

''It`s like a nightmare. We`re hoping everything will be over soon and Kolak will come back, and this is not happening to our family,'' Keisone said.