By Shawna Fisher

I made it through my 20’s. I made it through my 30’s. I’m in my early 40’s, still gay, still celibate, still going to church, and struggling to navigate forward as this “midlife crisis” is growing. I was able to put down in a poem how it feels being a gay Mormon a few minutes ago:

I was given these amazing eagle wings at birth,

but I was told I could never use them here on earth.

I was told if I wanted my angel wings in Heaven, I would have to watch all the other birds fly.

And so as I watch the other birds soar on their wings, it often makes me cry.

From the pigeon to the hummingbird to the swallow to the hawk,

I watch without a vantage point because my shoes are filled with rocks.

I have these wings, but cannot fly.

I can. They say. But only when I die.