Donald Trump has really had a rough time finding artists to play his big day. Even most conservative popular musicians have refused to be associated with him or celebrate his disgraceful rise to power in America. Just short of calling random names from the phonebook, Trump got together a reluctant group of performers underwhelming even for a high school after-prom party.

Today the disappointment continues, as 3 Doors Down—whose 2000 hit song "Kryptonite" ranked three spots below Creed's "Higher" on the Billboard 100—has announced it will be playing the "Make America Great Again! Welcome Celebration" at the Lincoln Memorial on January 19. They're listed last on a bill that also includes Toby Keith, Jon Voight, Jennifer Holliday, DJ Ravidrums, The Piano Guys, Tim Rushlow, Larry Stewart, Marty Roe, and Lee Greenwood.

Most of this lineup ranges from bizarre to predictable country acts to "Who's that?" But I'm actually considering tuning in to see what the hell John Voight does. Sing? Dance? DJ?

R. Kelly, despite what you would think, will not be in attendance.

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Matt Miller Culture Editor Matt is the Culture Editor at Esquire where he covers music, movies, books, and TV—with an emphasis on all things Star Wars, Marvel, and Game of Thrones.

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