NOTE: If you have a request for a particular 4Minute song to be discussed, or you want to call me an asshole, feel free to post a comment. Thanks!

Part 2 of this post can be found here.

4Minute has disbanded, by all accounts, which is a real shit sandwich for me personally because they were the first K-Pop group I ever heard, and pretty much single-handedly got me into the genre. My interest was first aroused by ‘Whatcha Doin’ Today?’ and then I clicked ‘next video’ and the raw thumping power of ‘Crazy’ tipped me over the age and I came with the fury of a thousand suns. Also, Hyuna.

주세요

In honour of 4Minute, I’m going to discuss a few of their songs and music videos. My Korean friend Lim will pitch in every now and then with his weirdly sexual perspective, as well my friend Bul Gogi (not his real name), who isn’t willing to sugarcoat his opinion of most 4Minute songs even in this time of grief.

I have heard some rumours that 4Minute might somehow survive, but said rumours are probably faker than Park Bom’s face and body, so fuck it, let’s review some motherfucking music.

Whatcha Doin’ Today ( 오늘 뭐해)

This is a terrible song and I love the tits off it. It also reminds me how little I used to know about K-Pop, as I recounted to my buddy Bul Gogi (not his real name).

[KCMF] The first I ever heard was ‘Whatcha doin’ today’ and I was like “Solid jam, must be the only one I’ll like though.”

[Bul Gogi] I hate that song

[Bul Gogi] So generic. I liked Volume Up, but Whats Your Name and What Are u Doing and that other song was terrible and made them annoying.

[KCMF] I knew nothing about Korean shit then, I thought Brave Sound was a dance troupe.

[KCMF] “If it’s 4Minute and Brave Sound, these dancing guys must be Brave Sound. Oh, that’s weird, this song says it has Brave Sound but there aren’t any dancers.”

[Bul Gogi] lmao u idiot

The music video, like the song, is a confusing, brightly coloured mess. It’s like being stabbed repeatedly in the eyes with a shiv fashioned from cardboard stills from a maniac’s LSD trip, and then occasionally some tits or ass get shaken in front of your face for just long enough to get you at quarter-mast, before some more weird shit happens.

Highlights include Jiyoon jerking off on her rap-toilet, some blatant ass shots of pink-haired maids (I think?), whatever fucked up shit this is and possibly the first gay kiss in a (mainstream) K-Pop music video?

The song is generically poppy, has some workmanlike rap but nothing much to write home about, everything is turned up to 12/10, and as a coherent whole I’m not sure if it really works. For me, it’s the essence of K-Pop, so I’d give it 10/10 because fuck you, it’s my blog and I’ll do what I want.

To add to that, in some ways the music we enjoy the most is music that has special meaning to us, or music tied to a particular event or time in our lives. I may end up thinking this song is the worst song in the world, but I’ll always love it to death because it got me into a whole new genre of music and stimulated a whole new chapter in my life; learning Korean, visiting Korea, and bonding with my Korean friends and language partners.

God damn it, Cube, you fucking assholes.

Breakdown

The album tracks for this one are actually pretty good, but the physical album in terms of content isn’t the best. I don’t really need a 2014 calendar, thanks all the same.

In terms of tracks, ‘I’ll Teach You’ is solid, and I wouldn’t kick ‘Wait a Minute’ out of bed, either.

I used to think they were called 4Minute because the typical length of a pop song is 4 minutes. Ain’t that some shit?

In terms of Hyuna Dominance, this is on the low end of the scale; most of the other girls get a chance to do something. Hyuna Dominance level of 5/10.

K-Pop MV weirdness is a fucky one for this song. When I saw it I’d never seen another K-Pop music video (except for ‘Gangnam Style’ obviously) so back then I’d have given it a 9. Now it’s more like a 6/10 for weirdness.

The song is cutesy as fuck but the MV contains tits, ass, pearl necklaces (the boring kind), toilet-jilling and two men kissing. Too hot for Netizens rating: 8/10, I’m amazed they got away with it.

Overall rating, objectively: 7/10 tbh fam.

My personal, subjective, irrational rating: 10/10 fuck you, Cube. Although I have been to your cafe and the coffee was quite nice and reasonably priced, so maybe I’ll forgive you for this one day.

Part 2 of this post can be found here.

Thanks for reading, Sojin protect you.