I don’t know about you, but the holidays always seem to me like a confusing mish-mash of emotions and expectations.

It’s the only time during the year when you see certain friends and family members that you may — or may not — want to see. You hone your small talk so well you remain comfortably isolated one long, dark evening after another.

Thank God there are snacks. And drinks.

But what is the holiday spirit if not opening your heart to new possibilities? After all, this is the primo season to meet cool new people. And for those of you whose Facebook page reads “single” (or your “relationship status” is left blank, regardless of your relationship status), now is the right time to be on the prowl.

Just be sure to keep an eye out for the ubiquitous Boulder climber (note the calloused, scabby hands, swollen knuckles and the skinny legs/overdeveloped lats combo). While conventional prowlers should probably run (I previously penned 10 reasons why you shouldn’t date a climber), the shrewd among you will cherish the wild ride of a climber courtship.

This holiday season, I’m offering 10 reasons why you should date a climber. Or, in my case, marry one. It works for me, and I’m perfectly, perfectly normal.

Here are five reasons why a climber makes a good boyfriend:

1) Abs. Abs. Abs.

His body is as hard as the rocks he climbs. But beware, lest your dating future be ruined. “I dated a non-climber once,” admitted one Boulder woman. “He was so mushy! He had soft hands and a doughy belly. … Once you date a climber, you can’t go back.”

2) He’s passionate. He follows his heart down the road less traveled. (Which usually means he’s broke).

3) “Climber guys are obsessed with using their hands,” reasoned one local woman, who couldn’t be reached for further explanation.

4) His van is cozier than your tent.

*Bonus: Kitchen cleanup is easy when he cooks — every meal is a one-pot wonder.

5) “I dated a non-climber for a year, but I was way stronger than he was. That’s why I left him,” said one discerning climber girl.

And even if Mr. Fraidy-Heights is willing to climb with you (for you?), as another girl put it, “It’s just not hot when you have to pull your boyfriend up a climb.”

Now we know why rock-brained, OCD hunchbacks make good dates. Here are five reasons why climbers of the fairer sex make great girlfriends:

1) She’s a flexible, adventurous risk-taker — a guaranteed great lay. I mean, belay.

2) It takes one to know one.

“I dated a climber to enable more climbing,” explained one local dude who (wisely) married his partner. “The best part is she tolerates my useless obsession.”

3) As if you have a choice, Quasimodo.

You climb all the time. Besides, only a fellow climber could go without a shower as long as you can and find romance in a PB and J.

4) She’s fit. And sexy. And constantly hanging out with fit, sexy dudes. If she even notices you, you’d better pounce. (See point No. 3).

5) And as one vertical addict elegantly put it, “Non-climbers are useless at climbing.”

P.S.: To the guy looking to date a climber girl, good luck. For every one of them there are five of you, and at least two of them are fitter, nicer, better-looking and better at climbing than you are.

So here’s some advice to help you beat the odds: Don’t be that shirtless creeper lurking in the background this holiday season, wishing you could date that hottie. Be the shirtless creeper with courage and ask her out.

Contact Chris Weidner at cweidner8@gmail.com.