A bunch of Christians who seem to think their magical words will keep Hurricane Dorian away from Florida gathered at Jacksonville Beach Pier Thursday night to tell the storm to “calm down.”

Because that’s how hurricanes work. They obey human instructions. But only if you believe in the right God.

“We’re coming out here as group of believers like we did 2 years ago for Hurricane Irma,” Mary [Parker] said. “We came and got in a circle and prayed and we sang.”

That is about as useful as getting your friends to blow really hard to reverse the hurricane’s direction.

They might have been better off driving away from Jacksonville or stocking up on supplies… but, okay, I guess prayer keeps them busy while everyone else does something useful.

But since they did this during Irma, can we at least check to see how that went?

Hurricane Irma delivered an $85 million hit to the city of Jacksonville, according to the city’s most recent cost estimates. The biggest share of the total is about $40 million for hauling away all the debris left behind by the storm, followed by $16.6 million for dunes and berms, and $15.3 million for personnel and equipment costs for emergency response operations. The total financial impact on city government is almost twice the $45 million expense dealt by Hurricane Matthew in October 2016.

Huh. It’s like the hurricane didn’t care about all those worship hands in the air. Who knew?

If the past is any indication, stay safe, people of Jacksonville. It’s going to be a rough weekend. There’s no reason to think God’s about to save you from what Christians also believe is one of God’s own creations.

(Screenshot via News4Jax. Thanks to Kealoha for the link)

