Would it work today? We’re about to find out because Amazon Prime and Lorne Michaels are producing eight new episodes with all of the original cast members. In preparation let’s take a little walk down memory lane informed by a fan who grew up in the culture that created it. This is Canadiana 101; what a pleasure to present it to you now all these years later. If anyone can live up to the exaggerated expectations 20 years have inspired… Every memory I visit in the process of writing this makes me laugh, smile, or shake my head fondly as I think about some of the best years of my youth trying to be funny like these guys with my friends.

Frankly, in hindsight, you have to call them brave. The original 1989 show, produced by Lorne Michaels, was designed for a world without internet or cancel culture. We were all still bootlegging with VCRs, north-enders had big hair and the prettiest girls. The most exciting thing we did was hang out in front of convenience stores smoking and looking moody while trying to score beer. Millennials think they’ve cornered the market on lost years. Ha! Metal ruled and street culture was all we had. Parks were our second home. If you haven’t been chased by police dogs can you really say you’ve had the 90s Canadian experience?

Cabbage Head

“Well, hello equals. Is this chair taken? I guess it can’t be. I brought it from home. So ladies I see you got the french fries. I’m sensitive to a modern woman’s needs.”

“I’m sorry I can’t eat them they go straight to my hips.”

“Ya so will I. So listen, ladies, I don’t mean this to sound like a come on line but does anyone here want to have sex?”

“No! I beg your pardon! Are you kidding me?”

“Can you believe that guys used to use lines like that… before woman’s lib.”

“Woman’s lib?”

“Ya… the movement.”

“Look we’re just trying to have a reunion with old friends… ok? So if you could just…”

“Oh… it’s my cabbage head isn’t it? This bothers me. You know a guy has an English accent and you’re all wet. You’re a lake. But as soon as a guy has a little green on his shoulders and you puke. That’s sexual discrimination!”

Buddy Cole

“They say that the notion of love at first site is an impossible idea.

Now I may have been born yesterday but I still went shopping.

It happens. Well, it happened to me. It was years ago when I was living in Baghdad.

On the day in question it was a sexy, sunny, rocky day.

I was lounging about the pool at the consulate wearing next to nothing. In fact at one point all I was wearing was a diplomats hands.”

Head Crusher

“Don’t panic. I mean I’m only crushing your heads! Crush you! The hell you guys talk about anyway… I like to put my money in Mexico… well I like to put it in the Gulf.. well I put my money in my mattress… well I put my money in my wallet.

You’re boring me. I’m crushing your head! I’m crushing your heads! Hey, I just renamed your firm Meryl Lynch and the Flatheads! I crush you!

Hail to you, courier, on streets of shame. Choking on car exhaust. Just trying to carve out that slice of the American dream with your two wheeled knife. I pity you... and I crush you! It’s nothing personal. I’m a-political!”

Chicken Lady

“Who is it?”

“It’s me, Max Davis, I answered your ad in the personals. We have a date tonight.”

“Oh, ya. Are you my date?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Well I bet your mother gave you a name. What is it?”

“Umm, I said it was Max.”

“Oh, ya. Come on in, Max.”

“No.”

“Do you want to eat dinner out here? I did last night.”

…

“Well… what are you?”

“You’re not too bright are ya? I’m a Chicken Lady!”

Simon, Hecubus and Evil!

“Good evening and welcome to the pit of ultimate darkness. I’m your host Simon Milligan. For those of you without a brave heart get up and go to the television set and turn the station. Go ahead. Exercise your right to be a coward.

Now for those of you with a brave heart and for those of you who have stayed. Look into my face and know that to look into my face is to look into the face… of evil! And now I‘d like to bring on one who could be the spawn of Satan himself! Man-servant Hecubus. Good evening, Hecubus, are you ready?”

“I am ready to serve you, master… aaaaaand Satan!”