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If you mixed together Cannae, Agincourt, Normandy (yeah, I went there), and Armageddon, then multiplied that battle by 100, you get some idea of the scale of the upcoming death match to be held just a few miles up the road from me in California’s 25th Congressional District. Katie Hill, she of the bizarrely convoluted relationships and questionable hairbrush perch hygiene, got the ole heave-ho by Nancy Pelosi after Redstate reporter Jennifer Van Laar’s exposé of the up ‘n coming Democrat’s multi-faceted relationship choices, choices so icky that they even freaked out the Cali crowd. Now that her former congressional seat, snagged from the sleeping GOP in 2018, is going to be the subject of a special election of surpassing specialness. To get the House back, this swing district is a must win for the Republicans; to keep the House, it’s a must win for the Democrats. Every hack reporter yearning for a trip to LA during the winter is going to be out here reporting on the bellwether to ring all bellwethers.

And it’s all going down just up the road from me. It’s gonna be lit, as the hip kids say.

So, is the GOP ready for this fight? Well, it’s the California GOP, so the presumptive answer is “No.” California’s Republicans – all 12 of them – got brutalized in 2018 by a devastating combination of changing Golden State demographics, a flood of Dem dinero, and the legendary incompetence that has made my state’s GOP pretty much the French Army of modern American politics. There are plenty of excuses – oh, the Democrats ballot harvested (It’s legal in this banana republic, so why didn’t we?). Oh, the Democrats were more motivated (Gee, whose fault is that?). Oh, the Democrats had better candidates (How about not nominating losers?). But the time for excuses has passed. It’s do or die, and this election is a Katie Hill to die on.

The libs are not going to let this one go. The tech titans are ready to stroke their checks. The media will run interference for the left. Moreover, the district is in the north Valley, meaning it’s just a quick limo ride for the Hollywood not-so-smart set to cruise on up and do their thing. If you’re a 25th District voter, be prepared to be accosted coming out of Trader Joe’s by the likes of Alyssa Milano begging you to vote for whatever near-commie the Democrats put forward. To the extent that washed up 80s TV stars constitute star-power, be prepared to be wowed.

Now, the national GOP is going to have to step in to help, both with money and infrastructure – a lot of money, and a lot of infrastructure. The former GOP congressman was napping last time and Katie Hill rolled him. She was able to win a seat that had always been ours and should still be ours, and that was on us.

The fact is that this is a GOP-leaning district that should go red in 2020. But why would the voters – as opposed to the ones who checked the box for the polyamorous pinko – support some soft Republican who will go to DC and do nothing? Why should they turn out on election day if they aren’t inspired? We Republicans have been burned again and again by GOP soy puppets who let overpaid campaign consultants who seem to know a lot about draining campaigns coffers but nothing about winning neuter them and turn them into human puffballs. Who needs a Jeb! clone who wants to “reach out” and “solve problems” and never, ever take a stand? This is kind of the butter-spined weakness that is supposed to appeal to the suburban wine mom set, but do women really want to support a sissy? Do the men of the district want to come out for a candidate who seems like he or she will break into tears if he or she ever found himself or herself microaggressed?

Conservatism, aggressively and unapologetically articulated, wins.

No, we are not raising your taxes to buy stuff for illegal aliens.

No, we are not making you ditch your Ford Explorer because a bunch of Bay Area weather cultists demand you sacrifice to Gaia.

No, we are not sending your kids to get killed in some border dispute between Whocaresistan and Bingobadoodle.

No, boys pretending to be girls are not going to take all the prizes in your girls’ sports leagues.

Yes, you are going to get to keep your health insurance and your doctor.

Yes, we are going to ensure your kids get taught to read instead of how to complain about their privilege.

Yes, we are going to stand up to China.

Yes, we are going to defend our border.

These are winning issues – you just need a GOP candidate who is woke and willing to take the heat for articulating them. Our candidate has to understand that, no matter what, the Democrats will call him/her a racist, sexist, transphobic, Islamophobic climate denier who supports hunting kids with AR-15s, and he/she has to not give a damn.

Our positions win. Infrastructure aside, our candidates often lose because they care what their opponents say and soft pedal our conservative message. Stop caring. Start making them take positions that persuadable GOP voters hate.

Fortunately, we have a Republican candidate in the 25th with a proven track record of being tough. He’s Mike Garcia, and he’s a Navy fighter pilot who smoked jihadi dirtbags while whatever candidate the Dems put forward was wandering around some college campus introducing his/her/xisself with his/her/xis pronouns.

Mike is the real deal, with a solid civilian career, a beautiful family, and no throuple weirdness. He embodies the normality and the kind of forthright conservatism the 25th needs. Check him out, and help him out if you are so inclined.

This is no time for shenanigans or vanity candidacies. This is the time to clear the field and rally around the guy who strapped himself to jet engines and took off to drop bombs on bad people over in the sandbox. We need a warrior. This fight will make all those other special election fights we’ve won lately look as peaceful and tranquil as one of Katie Hill’s naked hair brushing sessions. This is the decisive battle, right here, in the 25th. This is where we turn it around and counterattack to take back the House.

Speaking of California and its slow degeneration into a Venezuela-like nightmare of blackouts and sidewalk dung, my action-packed yet hilarious novels of America torn apart by liberal failure, People's Republic, Indian Country, Wildfire, and the upcoming (this November!) Collapse, largely take place there. The loser hacks of Never Trump called this book series “appalling,” which is literally the greatest blurb any author could ever aspire to!