Pooplog

A deep dive into a year on the toilet

515 Total Poops 1.41 Poops per day 40 Unique Toilets 3.89 Average Consistancy

Methodology

Over the course of a year, from 1/20/15 to 1/20/16, every instance of defecation was recorded in a spreadsheet. I defined defecation: a sit, a loaf, a wipe, and a flush. Courtesy flushes, half an hour slugfests, and multiple wipe and poo sessions did not increase the tally more than once. I recorded four statistics regarding each poop: date, time, location, and consistency. Consistency was measured via eyeball, in reference to the Bristol Stool Scale . Raw data can be found here . Without further ado, let's get into this mess, my own tales of umber.

I. Volume I.a Poops per day 0 Poops 1 Poop 2 Poops 3 Poops 4 Poops 0 50 100 150 200 I.b Location Work Home Other 0 50 100 150 200 250 I.a - Predictably, my most frequent poop locations occurred at work, with a secondary location of my home. Assuming each poop averaged about 5 minutes, at NYS minimum wage (8.75), pooping on the company dime will have made me around $185.20 this year. To see the top 5 non-home and non-work locations, please click on the "Other" slice of the pie graph.



I.b - Shows the number of n-poop days I had this year. With an average of 1.4, it's not surprising that most frequently 1 poop days occurred, followed by 2 poop days. Strangely enough I did go through multiple days, 24 to be exact, with 0 poops. The smallest slice of our graph are days I remember most fondly, 4 poop days, these miasma filled days were usually caused by a combination of binge drinking, sickness, or an unrepentant love for curry.

II. Time II.a Poop Volume by Day Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun 0 20 40 60 80 II.b Poop Consistancy by Day Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun 3.7 3.8 3.9 4.0 4.1 II.c Poop Volume by Month Jan Feb March April May June July Aug Sept Oct Nov Dec 0 10 20 30 40 50 II.d Poop Consistancy by Month Jan Feb March April May June July Aug Sept Oct Nov Dec 3.4 3.6 3.8 4.0 4.2 4.4 II.a & II.b - Here we really start to see a trend forming. A skyrocket in the looseness of my stool on Sunday correlates to my habit of having more than a few drinks on Saturday nights. Poops are fairly consistent during the week, most likely due to predictable coffee consumption. We also notice a slight swoon during Friday and the weekend, when I generally have better things to do than poop!



II.c & II.d - I averaged 42 poops per month, with a high of 53 (January) and a low of 35 (August). The inconsistencies, taking into account the differences of days in a month, I found expected. The average consistency also varied wildly, with a high of 4.4 (October was a sloppy month), and a low of 3.5 in May. The only trend that seemed to hold true was a higher volume of poops during colder months. I attribute this to more leafy greens and fresh fruit consumed during summer, and more hearty meals and more indoor time during the winter.

III. Habits III.a Poops by hour 12AM 1AM 2AM 3AM 4AM 5AM 6AM 7AM 8AM 9AM 10AM 11AM 12PM 1PM 2PM 3PM 4PM 5PM 6PM 7PM 8PM 9PM 10PM 11PM 0 20 40 60 80 III.a - Predictably, my most frequent poops came during daylight hours, with the hour of 10-11 dominating my fecal frequency with 93 poops. We've separated the weekday and weekend poops to highlight the difference stability makes, specifically routine coffee drinking at around 10 o'clock. More surprising was the uptick of poops after 19:00, especially after hitting the near low of six 18:00 poops, of which, four came on the weekend. One could infer that this was my cooking and eating time, after returning home from work.



IV. Locations IV.a Map of Locations Loading... IV.a - I mapped a majority of the 40 different toilets that were blessed with my precious cheeks this year. Poop location of the year goes to the Museum of Modern Art in New York, which had exquisite granite flooring, perfect stall height, and a very generous bowl and seat. Worst poop location of the year goes to Milkies Elmwood Lounge. To be fair, I never learned my lesson, and ended up there 3 times. At least I could hear the open mic comedy set from my ivory throne.

