I wouldn’t be doing my due diligence as the resident Spider-person around here if I didn’t at some point revisit Spider-Man: The Animated Series. Airing on Fox from late 1994 to early 1998, the show was the most faithful adaptation of any of the comic book stories up to that point. But the thing is, it was never intended to be.

In 1993, Avi Arad became part owner of a company called Toy Biz. If that name sounds familiar to you, you probably remember seeing him as credited as a producer of pretty much every film adaptation of a Marvel character made between 1993 and 2006. Back in ’93, Marvel granted Toy Biz perpetual rights to produce toys based on Marvel characters in exchange for 46% of the company. After some restructuring, Arad became the head of the Marvel half of Toy Biz and the head of Marvel’s film & animation departments. Arad was in charge of how every Marvel character got to the big or small screen until, like a dummy, he resigned as head of Marvel Studios in 2006 just before they made Iron Man and launched probably the most successful film franchise in cinematic history. But then again he left over disagreements about what Marvel Studios’ production plans should be, so maybe it’s because Arad left that they’ve been so successful. The world may never know.

With the X-Men series having started the year before, Spider-Man: The Animated Series was the first television production that Arad was in charge of. A series of poor business decisions & bad luck was causing Marvel to bleed money at the time. The company would eventually be forced to file for bankruptcy in late 1997. Arad’s idea to turn the ship around, being the guy in charge of the toys & the cartoons, was to make a lot of cartoons that would serve as half hour long toy commercials. He wasn’t so much concerned about quality as he was cramming in tons of characters to sell toys.

For Spider-Man, John Semper was brought in as show runner. Semper & Arad butted heads constantly, with Semper wanting to tell good stories while Arad wanted the show’s main goal to be showcasing new characters & costumes in order to sell toys. Early on in the series, Semper was forced to change a Green Goblin story into a Hobgoblin story because Toy Biz had already started production on a Hobgoblin for the show’s toy line and it was too late to change the character around. Arad also wanted to shut down a planned storyline Semper had involving Madame Web because he didn’t think any kid would want to buy a Madame Web toy. But Semper stuck to his guns and guess what Arad did about it?

Semper was often given instructions from Arad and the rest of the Marvel brass about what characters to use and what he should & shouldn’t do with the series. However, he learned early on that because all the higher ups were more worried about the company’s financial situation at the time, he was pretty much left alone to do whatever he wanted. One particular instruction he was given was “DO NOT DO ANY SEASON LONG STORY ARCS.”

Well, can you guess what John “By God” Semper did in season two of the show? A season long story arc called “Neogenic Nightmare.” It’s crazy, pulls tons of inspiration from the comics, and it’s the storyline that comes to mind whenever I think of this show. As such, I’ll be covering it for my next few installments of Saturday Morning Cartoons. Without any further adieu, let’s get to it!

We start off with Spidey lamenting that he doesn’t have a special someone in his life, wondering if he should pursue Felicia Hardy or Mary Jane Watson. Out of nowhere, his spider powers go on the fritz causing him to fall of the side of a building. Things kick back in soon, but not soon enough to stop him from falling. Thankfully, someone seems to be throwing away a giant box of feathers into a dumpster down below. That’s the opposite of the old Parker luck.

Meanwhile, Kingpin and some other crime lords, notably Silvermane, Hammerhead, and The Owl are nefariously all hanging out when Silvermane tries to kick Kingpin out of their crime buddies club because Fisk has been rather unsuccessful when it comes to keeping Spider-Man out of their business. Kingpin foils this attempt and assures the rest of the group that he has a plan to take out that wall crawling menace once and for all.

We soon find out that this plan involves busting a lot of people out of jail. Six people to be exact: Chameleon, Mysterio, Shocker, Scorpion, Rhino, and Doctor Octopus. Yes, six very sinister people. Very sinister indeed! That’s why we call them…THE INSIDIOUS SIX!!!

Actually, there’s conflicting stories about why they’re called the Insidious Six and not the Sinister Six. One theory is that Fox’s standards & practices division didn’t like the use of the word “sinister” on a kid’s cartoon. But that doesn’t really hold water when you realize that a certain X-Men villain showed up on that cartoon (also on Fox) and wasn’t called “Mr. Insidious.” The theory that makes more sense is that the show runner didn’t want to call the group the Sinister Six because he was legally not allowed to use the villains that actually made up the original Sinister Six.

Of the original roster of Doc Ock, Mysterio, Vulture, Kraven, Sandman, and Electro the last two were actually planned to be the villains in the long rumored James Cameron Spider-Man film that never came to be. As such, they were off limits for the cartoon.

Also, I feel the need to point out some rather stupid decisions by the people in charge of this jail. First off all, Shocker is apparently sleeping in his suit.

Why? Nobody else was wearing their suit. And he only needs it to insulate him from the vibrations created by his gauntlets. Why was he allowed to keep it anyway? And speaking of those gauntlets, turns out that they’re being kept in the jail with all of the other super villains’ gear.

What the hell? Were they planning on giving it back to them when they got out?

Kingpin takes his newly assembled super villain team to an empty warehouse and begins briefing them on what his plans are when suddenly, Spider-Man shows up. The six make short work of him and it turns out that Spider-Man was really a robot all along.

Just kidding! That was just a test Kingpin set up to show them what they can accomplish through the power of teamwork!

Just as Spidey is wondering how these six guys all managed to break out of jail at the same time and why they haven’t been seen since, his spider powers completely shut down on him. Having left his clothes on a high ledge he can no longer get to, he has to walk home and sneak into the house so that Aunt May doesn’t see his costume. He gets home at about seven in the morning and goes right to sleep. He wakes up feeling all refreshed & spidery again, looking at the clock to see 9:30 AM. He thinks a two and a half hour nap fixed all of his problems but soon finds out that he’s actually been asleep for 26 and a half hours. We’ve all been there, right?

Pete leaves just in time to make it to former lizard man Dr. Curt Connors’ class on neogenics, a new exploratory field of genetic science. Connors tells the class that whichever student can come up with the best neogenics experiment will get the prized position of being his research assistant. Noted Eastern European douchebag Micheal Morbius is also in this class. He’s not a living vampire yet, but he totally looks like one.

Felicia Hardy comes by to ask Peter to escort her to the opening of her mother’s new science center that night. When Peter excitedly asks if this is her asking him out on a date, she responds with “All right, you can call it a date if you want.” Just then Flash Thompson shows up to lament the fact that he can’t believe his hero Spider-Man is leading the gang of criminals that J. Jonah Jameson calls “The Spider-Man Six”. It’s Chameleon pretending to be Spider-Man leading the rest on a crime spree that Peter is totally unaware of because he was asleep for more than a day.

Spidey swings into action, but wouldn’t you know it his powers go out on him again. He’s a sitting duck against six super powered bad guys, but when a blast from Shocker rips open the street to reveal a passing subway train below, Spidey is lucky enough to fall on it and get away. So if you’re keeping score at home, that’s two times in this episode that Spidey’s had an extremely lucky fall right after his powers short circuited.

Spider-Man goes to the person he knows who knows the most about genetics, Dr. Curt Connors, to see if he can figure out what’s wrong. While Connors notes that Spidey’s DNA reminds him a lot of the neogenics work he’s been looking into, he tells him that he can’t figure out why his powers are failing let alone how to fix it.

Just as Peter starts thinking that if he no longer has the power he probably doesn’t have the responsibility anymore and might actually get to live a normal life, Kingpin has the Insidious Six start scouring the city in search of Spider-Man. Scorpion and Doc Ock get the bright idea to track down Peter Parker. Since he’s always taking pictures of Spider-Man, he might be able to lead them to him. They also wear great disguises.

Having been so preoccupied with everything else that’s going on, Peter’s forgotten about his date with Felicia. She’s at a payphone trying to get a hold of him when somebody tries to steal her purse, but Micheal Morbius shows up just in time to stop the thief. Angry at Peter, Felicia decides to take Micheal to the science center opening instead.

Just then, Doctor Octopus shows up at Aunt May’s house. When he introduces himself as a doctor, she assumes that there must be some sort of medical emergency involving Peter. Ock plays along, telling May that Peter has fallen ill but is being taken care of at his clinic and the he will take her to him. Later, Peter arrives home to find a note telling him that if he ever wants to see his Aunt May alive again, he needs to deliver Spider-Man. Pete might not have any powers, but he doesn’t have much of a choice. He puts on his costume and goes to the address mentioned in the note, but as expected he walks right into a trap. The episode ends with a completely powerless Spider-Man surrounded by six of his greatest foes! How in the hell is he gonna get out of this one?

TO BE CONTINUED…