Got any old Disney films lurking around your home? Please burn them immediately, lest they do irreparable damage to your daughters. This advice doesn’t come from me, by the way, it comes from Keira Knightley. During a recent appearance on the US talkshow Ellen, the actor said she has banned her three-year-old girl from watching Cinderella and The Little Mermaid because of how they portray women. Cinderella is “banned because she waits around for a rich guy to rescue her”, Knightley said. “Don’t! Rescue yourself.” As for The Little Mermaid: “The songs are great, but do not give your voice up for a man. Hello!”

Knightley isn’t the only Hollywood actor sharing her super-woke thoughts about Disney feminism. Kristen Bell recently told Parents magazine that Snow White sends the wrong message about consent. “Because you cannot kiss someone if they’re sleeping!”

Listen, I’m a feminist. I think Knightley and Bell both make important points about the way popular culture can reinforce unhealthy gender stereotypes and normalise toxic behaviour. Nevertheless, I can’t help but find their princess-proselytising immensely irritating. It feels like superficial point-scoring, for one thing. Not to mention the hypocrisy of their statements plays straight into the hands of the right. Indeed, the Daily Mail lost no time in detailing all the ways in which Knightley, in particular, has made a career out of playing extremely problematic characters. Such as Juliet in Love Actually, for example, who rewards her creepy stalker Mark with a kiss.

Mainly, however, I’m just annoyed that Knightley thinks Cinderella is a useless princess waiting around for a rich dude to rescue her. Are you kidding me? Cinderella overcomes abuse, hustles her way to a party she wants to go to and (notwithstanding the help of some resourceful rodents) saves herself. Cinderella isn’t pathetic; she’s a baller.