At some point during the second semester, when everything became a blur and the stresses of life seemed too much (well, the stresses of fake academic life), and the ability to share my thoughts on the internet dissipated, the Bobcats claimed a spot in the 2014 NBA playoffs — a feat only achieved for the second time in their short, tortured history. This scrappy and rough-beauty of a team has slowly morphed the country’s caricatured image of the franchise, easily giving them the title of lovable underdog, as they unluckily take on the monolith that is Lebron James. I honestly believe if this team had arrived two seasons earlier, then we may never have witnessed the all-but-unanimous call for a return to the famous Hornets moniker — but we needed to suffer so we could love like this again! And, personally, I am forever in debt to Big Al and the Gang that I can scream again from the top of my lungs — and for one last final time — BOBCATS! PLAYOFFS!

Take it away DJ Complete!

And so I dedicate this romantic, albeit cliché, battle poem to the catalyst of our dreams and ambitions: Albus Ricardo Jefferson.

Half a court, Half a court,

Half a court onward,

All into the center of the Cable Box

Sprint the rag-tag roster

“Forward, the above-average defensive unit!

“Charge the pick-and-roll!” Al yelled:

Into the valley of Lebron’s fiefdom

Strode the collection of Michael Jordan’s aging egomania

***

“Forward, the above-average defensive unit!”

Was there fan a dismay’d?

No Big Al, the titan of the Queen City, went to work

On the low post, as cretins with markings and horns were thrown at him

The defenders were helpless

To his over the shoulder lob

To his mid-range stroke

To the sound of the referee’s whistle, as Al made a cheshire grin

Into the largess of Lebron

Came the plucky Charlotteans

Lebron to the right of them

Dwyane to the left of them

Chris Bosh in the front of them

Dunk’d and flex’d

Storm’d at with eurosteps and lobs

But boldly Al turned and scored

Into the jaws of the triumvirate

Into the mouth of bandwagons

Played the Horncats

***

Flashed all their offensive sets

From the mastermind of Steve Clifford

Came Kemba Walker

Came Hendo’s arrogant defiance

Came McRobert’s guile

Came Kidd-Gillie’s trappings

Came the relentlessness of Al’s legend

But ’twas it enough to stifle the Heat of battle

To topple the colossus!

To make history thiers!

Tried the future Hornets

Lebron to the right of them

Dwyane to the left of them

Chris Bosh in the front of them

Dunk’d and flex’d

Storm’d at with eurosteps and lobs

But boldly Al turned and scored

Into the jaws of the triumvirate

Into the mouth of bandwagons

Was it enough

From the titan of Charlotte?

***

When can his glory fade?

At the expense of a player option?

O! the defensive stand they made

O! the offensive movements they orchestrated

Funneled in the direction of his largeness, Big Albus

Honor his glory!

Honor his legend!

Even if it was all for naught

Surely he deserveth an All-NBA selection!