This is my story. I was madly in love with my boyfriend of six months. We’d speak everyday and got on so well. Sexually things are fantastic. I felt so in love and I felt like I was falling more and more in love with him everyday. Everything seemed perfect. We communicated well if there ever was an issue. We were and essentially are best friends as well as two people in love. He went away for a month and we spoke everyday and I thought about him all the time.

Then one evening I suddenly just thought “I’m not in love with him anymore.” That was nearly 7 weeks ago now and the feeling still hasn’t come back. I’ve cried everyday and feel so depressed about the fact. I don’t want anyone else. He’s the most amazing person and so good for me. The day before I felt that way I’d even daydreamed about being engaged to the guy.

I’ve fell out of love before but that was for genuine reasons. Breakups, not getting on, not actually being in love in the first place, etc. There’s no reasons here and I’m heartbroken. And the fact it’s happened so suddenly too.

Another odd thing has been happening too. I’ve been meeting lots of new people as I’m on an exchange and I’ve been feeling vague butterflies for them. Nothing to how I felt for my boyfriend, not even anything close to what I usually feel for people I crush on. I don’t want anything with them but I avoid them anyway because the guilt is enough.

I don’t believe anyone else could be so good for me. I really want to keep trying because I really feel that we’re worth it but I’m so scared. I don’t want to be living a lie. And I live in fear of accidentally falling for someone else. I don’t get it,because this is the person I want yet the “in love” feelings seem to be being blocked. Sometimes I feel like I can’t properly remember him and I only saw him less than three weeks ago.

It has been suggested to me that this is the end of the honeymoon period and that the infatuation has worn off but it seems a little early and also a little severe. Feelings for me have usually worn off over time or I’ve fallen for someone else. This literally went from one minute being deeply in love and the next minute not.

It has also been suggested to me that I’m depressed. Well, this is certainly the case now and maybe it was before and I didn’t realise so much. I have had a rather deadend summer in a terrible job and this September I started at a university on the other side of the world. He had sort of been my shining beacon in all of this, but I’ve been depressed before and it certainly didn’t seem that severe until I lost feelings for him. People are saying to me to get happy first and maybe things will fall into place but I’m generally scared that I’ll get happy again and my feelings for him won’t be the same. And this makes me so angry because it makes me think that it will nitpick away at me for years because without this low we may have been happy for a very long time together.

I just don’t know what to do! I don’t want to move on but I also don’t want to live a lie. I want clear thoughts back in my head rather than all these jumbled ones. But most of all I just want to go back to being madly in love with this wonderful boy. I feel that if I acted on the feelings I have now I’d be making the biggest regret of my life. It’s like my body and mind want to put my relationship on hold and come back to it later but I know that’s just not realistic. And I don’t want to hurt him. And I don’t want to hurt myself. And I’m so confused. I want it back so much.

I’m sad and I’m angry with my own mind. I was so happy until this one moment. I’m so very confused.

Any advice would be so so helpful?