So I chose to be a lady in GTA Online because if Rockstar isn't going to make a female character I figure I should. Also @mattbodega's tweets are law. Anyway, the first thing that happened to this mute creature I named Brandy is Lamar tried to have sex with her. I have to wonder, who thought that was a good idea? I mean, I can come up with pretty bad justifications for why that's okay. Like maybe the male intro starts with Michael's daughter doing the same to the guys. Or maybe they just wanted to be realistic and give players an authentic experience of what it's like to be a woman in the crime industry. Like they looked at #OneReasonWhy and came away thinking "Yeah, that's what being a female criminal would be like! Fantastic!" The sad thing is that's probably giving them too much credit. They probably said "Lamar's picking you up, but wait, if you're a woman he has to recognize that right? And try to jump your bones? Yeah, he should definitely do that."

Since this is not only the first thing but the last thing that has happened to Brandy since the game breaks about 30 seconds after that "Hey girl we've known each other for ages we should get physical" bit it gets caught in a matchmaking hole from which there is no escape. I am curious what other nuggets lie outside the first 30 seconds. Anyone got any?