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When 53 percent of white women vote against their self-interests to elect a reality star to the highest office in the land, then no one can be surprised at the drama that ensues.




Once again, President TinyFingers von GrabHands is back to bashing his accusers on social media because that’s really presidential. On Sunday, the Washington Post profiled one woman’s crusade to have her voice heard:

“He was waiting for the elevator outside our office when I got up the nerve to introduce myself,” Rachel Crooks said, remembering that day when she was 22 years old and Trump was 59. “It’s not like I was trying to upset the apple cart. I don’t know. Maybe I was being naive.”


Crooks claims that Trump grabbed her hand and started kissing her.

“He started kissing me on one cheek, then the other cheek. He was talking to me in between kisses, asking where I was from or if I wanted to be a model. He wouldn’t let go of my hand, and then he went right in and started kissing me on the lips,” she said during a recent dinner party, the Post reports.

“It felt like a long kiss,” she said. “The whole thing probably lasted two minutes, maybe less.”

Of course, President Tweety von TypeTooMuch took to social media to bash Crooks’ account of that day.


He said that despite the fact that Crooks’ account of the event sounds a lot like Trump’s own words captured on a hot mic during an appearance on Access Hollywood in 2005:

“You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful women. I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.”


Crooks is one of 19 women who the Post notes have accused the president of sexual misconduct.

“They claimed Trump had ‘acted like a creepy uncle,’ or ‘squeezed my butt,’ or ‘eyed me like meat,’ or ‘stuck his hand up under my skirt,’ or ‘groped with octopus hands,’ or ‘pushed me against a wall,’ or ‘thrust his genitals,’ or ‘forced his tongue into my mouth’ or ‘offered $10,000 for everything,’” the Post reports.


Crooks has noted that she wants no money from Trump and added that she has no plans of suing the president, but she wants her story out in the public. Trump, of course, has denied everything, calling all of the women liars and noting that their stories are part of an intricate leftist plot to bring down his presidency.

I have one question for President ManTits von NineteenAccusers: What about Stormy Daniels? She has dragged Trump’s name through the piss-stained Russian streets, and his own lawyer has even admitted to paying her off, yet Trump comes after Crooks.


Say Daniels’ name, though. I bet he won’t because he doesn’t want that heat, but don’t worry: The Russia collusion, sexual assaults and teenage anger over the GOP’s overall lack of concern for human life are closing in around him. Now it’s just a race to see which crime brings him down first.