An anonymous commenter on the official TSA blog asked the best question I’ve seen thus far:

If these scanners are so vital to keeping people safe, why aren’t they used at TSA headquarters? Why aren’t they being used on TSA screeners when they come to work?

The second question there is extremely valid. If these a-holes plan on using X-ray scanners on my 18-month old son, you’re goddamn skippy that TSA agents better be getting X-frisked too. What’s to fear? The images are so innocuous that they shouldn’t mind their colleagues seeing ultra-softcore nude pics of themselves. It’d certainly make water cooler conversation a lot more awkward, and interesting.

Besides the obvious privacy concerns, there are equally important ones about health safety which need answering. Declarations by the TSA and device manufacturers that new scanning devices are “100% safe” ring 110% hollow to me, as there are no long-term studies to back up their hypothetical findings.

Even if the devices are safe under normal conditions, what happens if one malfunctions? As the NYT reports, accidental radiation overdoses are common. Can you imagine the effect if just a single scanner was malfunctioning for a week? 100,000 people could be over-radiated, in no time.

I realize that the device manufacturers have safety checks in place, but everyone always does. Yet shit still happens. Software misfires happen, humans have been known to make mistakes, abuse power, and nap on the job.

And on top of the safety issues, there are cost-effectiveness concerns to boot. Are X-ray scanners a good way to stimulate the economy? Maybe, if you follow the full-retard logic employed by Bernanke or Krugman.

Yes, airports need effective security. But it must be done in a smart way, one which respects constitutionally-protected rights to privacy and health.

Occasionally history is kind enough to give us a crystal-clear example of how ludicrous such decisions may look in hindsight. From the 1930’s to 60’s, X-ray machines were widely used by shoe salesmen. The gimmick supposedly helped match the customer with the perfectly fitted shoe. With x-rad shoe box technology, you can see your toes through the shoe! Ask your local Al Bundy for a free test-fitting, today!

In reality, it was a marketing tool, of course. Yet it was declared safe by contemporary authorities and regulators, despite the fact that radiation was known to be potentially hazardous. The radiation from such machines went on to harm an unknown number of people, mostly its’ operators.

Point is, x-ray technology should only be used when absolutely necessary (AKA, medically). Be sure to read this excellent piece by Declan McCullagh over at CNET on the scandal. And these too:

Bravo to whoever came up with the poster above. It’s editorial cartooning/lampooning at its best. The watermark credits this site, but I can’t find it on there. Via Boing Boing.