Self-described Christian “prophet” Cindy Jacobs has a habit of — get this — lying to her audiences. Like the time she helped a woman grow three inches instantaneously, and the time she turned metal into bone (literally), and the time she blamed the death of blackbirds on the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and the time she commanded the clouds to move during a photo shoot because she had “authority over the weather.”

There are also documented instances of her failed future predictions. In 2015, she said said God would turn everyone’s lives around. And then, in 2016, she said the same damn thing… which I guess means you’re back to where you started in 2015? (I don’t understand Christian Logic.)

But you have to trust her this time. Because she says televangelist Jim Bakker needs a little extra cash this holiday season in order to build a new TV studio that can broadcast her thoughts to the world.

Cindy Jacobs explains that Jim Bakker needs his new television studio so that prophets like her can send "an unbroken signal" directly from Heaven down into Bakker's satellites and out around the world. pic.twitter.com/chpDk12yry — Right Wing Watch (@RightWingWatch) December 18, 2019

Think of the power of this kind of media, Jim. Think about, okay, we’re sitting with Him in heavenly places. We’re prophesying from the Throne Room. Positionally, that’s where we prophesy from. Anybody can prophesy, Oh, I see chaos coming, or this or that, but they’re prophesying more along the natural scenes. So we prophesied the will of God to the Earth from Heaven. But when you prophesy from Heaven, and it goes into a satellite, there is a great authority in the Heavens. You understand this?… This is an unbroken signal in a way, and then it’s disseminated down. It is… Maybe people don’t understand even what I’m saying.

Well, she got the last part right.

God is all-powerful, but apparently, prayers only work if you have a fancy TV studio and top-of-the-line satellites. I’m surprised she didn’t mention the Giant Buckets of Food.

It’s all a Christian grift. It’s just too bad the sort of people who take Jacobs seriously are the sort of people who can least afford to throw away their money.

(via Right Wing Watch. Portions of this article were published earlier)

