Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

The internet contains an endless stream of advice. From the morning routines of wildly successful entrepreneurs, to the mindset of brilliant, up-and-coming investors, to the fitness plans of athletes and models, to the plethora of diets claiming to change your body and life at breakneck speed, there is something out there for all of us. Something a friend shared to Facebook with the caption, “Must Read ❤”. Some article linked beneath a before-and-after #TransformationTuesday photo on Instagram. An inspiring piece about someone who escaped the daily grind you discovered during a quick morning coffee break in your cubicle that hits you in a way that makes you think, why not me? How can I do this? Tell me more!

If there is something that you deem to be wrong with your life, the internet has the answer. It will diagnose and offer a remedy for any and all conditions that might be ailing your home, health, wallet, relationship, social life… the list goes on.

“Do these 10 things to fix your finances in one year.”

“Eating only this for 7 days will cut 2 inches from your waist.”

“Don’t wait, quit your job and travel the world now!”

“Use this to boost your mood and productivity instantly!”

“5 steps to building more meaningful relationships in your late 20s.”

Everyone who frequents their computer or smartphone has seen headlines resembling these multiple times written in many different ways. Most people probably have tried one or more of these quick fixes to improve some aspect of their lives. Sometimes they succeed and share the advice with others, hoping to inspire them to follow the same path.

However, it’s probably fair to say that most people who try these “fix this thing in this way by doing this” type advice, end up giving up and ultimately fail.

“It wasn’t for me,” they tell their friends, after diving into their new life with a gung ho attitude only 3 days prior.

“I was in the middle of a 14 day cleanse and my best friend from college wanted to meet up for drinks,” they tell their co-workers by the water cooler. “How could I say no to that? I hadn’t seen her in years!”

“I can’t do this,” they tell themselves.

Herein lies the problem with all of the life-changing advice you have at your fingertips 24 hours a day:

Advice is created by the experiences of someone else.

Someone else did something in a certain way, and profoundly altered themselves or some aspect of their life. They shared what they learned in a step-by-step guide, that when followed, will produce those results.

But probably not for you. At least not to the same extent.

I’m not saying the next diet you try won’t work. I’m not saying if you workout under a strict regimen, you won’t see results. I’m not saying there aren’t steps that can be taken to improve your relationships and health. I’m not telling you to ignore the instructions next time you try a new recipe or assemble a piece of furniture.

What I’m saying is that you are unique. The giver of the advice that inspires you to be better is vastly different than you (probably). Their life is different. Their body and mind are different. What motivates them to improve themselves is different than what drives you.

But you’re reading their articles. You want to be better. You want to follow their advice. You want to succeed. But when the going gets tough, how are you going to keep pushing? How are you going to avoid joining countless others who have failed? Or even worse, how are you going to avoid temptation or slipping back into your old ways once your predetermined number of days is up?

What I suggest doing is taking the advice of others and retrofitting it to your life. In other words, make it more realistic for you. Allow yourself some wiggle room. Because in all honesty, many self-improvement plans are difficult if not impossible for some people for more reasons than simply lack of motivation.

The definition of retrofit is:

“an act of adding a component or accessory to something that did not have it when manufactured.”

Obviously you’re not a machine. But metaphorically speaking, we are made up of parts and components, our body and its organs and muscles, and our mind, that when combined make us into one whole being. Our lives, relationships, finances, etc. can be thought of in similar ways… as being made up of various components.

Sticking with the metaphor, many of the advice, personal growth, and inspirational articles you will find suggest ripping out a component and replacing it with something new.

For example, let’s say you’ve decided to do Whole30, or go Paleo or Gluten-Free. You are going to take your existing diet plan and remove it, and replace it with something else. You are going to undo something that your body is used to and comfortable with, and it’s going to be shocking to your system.

What about a workout program? Maybe you’re going to start doing a 60 day at home regimen from a famous trainer that puts their workouts on DVD or online. But you haven’t been working out regularly or have been doing so in a completely different way… So this is all new to you.

A popular financial blogger suggests switching all of your accounts to a free online bank that has better interest rates than the big brick and mortar bank down the street. Then invest X% here while saving the rest for your rainy day fund and retirement.

You get the idea. All of these things can be done. They are all challenging to a degree that will change your life. But you might fail, and that’s ok. You can always try something else.

The problem is, failing for most people doesn’t inspire us to try something else. Instead, we go back to the way we did things before, for better or worse. Because it’s easier.

However, if we had taken the advice and modified it to fit into our lives rather than at face value, where it was tailored for someone else, we drastically increase our chances of success.

In other words, don’t replace components of your lives because you read that you should. Instead, retrofit them to your own life. Make it fit in your size, paint it your color, stake your claim on it. And stick to it.

If a new diet sounds like it could change your life, but you can’t possibly imagine giving up a beer or glass of wine after a long day at work, do the diet but also have the drink. You’re doing 90% of a great thing that will better yourself.

If a motivational speaker tells you to wake up at 5 AM to meditate, workout, and pursue your passion before you head to work, but you’ve got kids and pets and a lazy spouse to care for and can’t possibly wake up that early, find another time. Do it when you can but don’t stress yourself out when life gets in the way.

Your new workout program includes a checklist and calendar that it says needs to be followed to a T to maximize your results. Maybe it’s 90 days, but make it as many days as it needs to be for you. Do it every other day, or skip Saturdays. Do it in a way that you’re not burning yourself out.

Retrofit these things to your life. Doing mostly good things to improve yourself is better than doing nothing at all. It’s also better than repeatedly starting and failing. This way, you can learn how to incrementally improve yourself, rather than fully committing to a temporary solution. A little improvement here, a little improvement there, adding up to a better whole.

Do Whole30 but have a beer on Fridays. Do P90X but skip the yoga or the pull ups. Wake up earlier, but just a little. Make 80 day obsession last for 100 days in order to take weekends off. Go for a jog but walk if you need to. Pursue your passions when you have time.

Many of these things would be seen as failures by the program creators. But they should instead be seen merely as speed-bumps rather than roadblocks. There will always be speed-bumps, but after you’ve slowed down and gotten over it, you just keep going. Keep driving.

Don’t alter your life in hopes of improving yourself if you can’t be happy while doing it. If it makes you miserable but the end goal is happiness, figure out a way to be happy the whole time. It may take longer to reach the end goal, but your sanity will remain intact, and your odds of success will increase.

It may sound like lowering the bar, but it’s really just making changes that once seemed impossible more realistic.

By retrofitting advice to your life, you can create a better version of it that is sustainable and makes you happy.

But hey, this is just advice on the internet, based on my experience.

You know what to do with it.