First of all, I have an announcement to make.

I, sauceplz, am a huge asshole.

Winter was rough this year, I had been shafted the year before, and was shafted this year (at first) too. So when it had been almost a month after the send date, I shot off a snide one liner to my rematcher, remarking that maybe she shouldn't have sent me hopeful emails and then just not send me anything.

I never send nasty emails. I guess this is the universe telling me why I shouldn't.

My santa got scammed. She got delayed. She SAVED UP for my present. (If the customs form is right, to the tune of $140.) How in the hell do I deserve that?! If I was in her shoes, I would have been like "Well fuck this guy."

But no.

Perjusdepomme is pure class, folks.

When I opened the box to be welcomed by a big orange box INSIDE the brown cardboard, I was sure as hell not expecting it to contain 48 FULL SIZED REESE'S CUP PACKS. That's 144 cups, for those of you keep count at home. I mean, I've gotten Reese's for secret santa before, but this just takes the cake, the donkey, the balloons, AND the pinata.

BUT. THERE'S MORE.

What's this little box hanging out down in here?

Only a box with 5 pairs of rage face earrings. XD I'm going to start wearing these to the elementary school I work at to see how my kids think of them. Oh gods, the hilarity won't end.

I don't think I've stopped laughing since I opened this. Or crying. Or both. Whatever. Tears taste delicious with my peanut butter and lolfaces.

I can't even believe this. From this day forth, I will never send a nasty email to anyone, ever, because damnit, we're all just people trying to love each other. I hope this address is good, because I want to send you something back!!

THANK YOU from the bottom of my (now chocolate covered) heart!!!!