‘My 14 years of freedom have been harder than death row’: What it’s like to spend 22 years in jail for a crime you didn’t commit

‘My 14 years of freedom have been harder than death row’: What it’s like to spend 22 years in jail for a crime you didn’t commit

True crime has exploded in recent years across podcasts, TV series and films. We all became obsessed with the case of Steven Avery on Making A Murderer; we binge-watched Evil Genius; we follow the case of Adnan Syed after listening to Serial.

But sometimes, we can forget there’s real people behind these stories. Real killers, real victims – and real people who were jailed for crimes they did not commit.

Nick Yarris was one of those people. In 1981, Yarris – then 20 years old – was charged with the abduction, rape and murder of a woman named Linda May Craig.

Yarris had never met Linda in his life, but told police that he believed a drug addict he knew and believed to be dead (he was still alive) was responsible for her death in order to get out of jail, where he was serving time for stealing a car. Yarris himself was charged and found guilty, and he was put on death row, where he stayed for 22 years.




In 2004, DNA evidence proved that Yarris didn’t do it, and he was released from prison 22 years after he went in.

You would assume Yarris would be filled with anger against the justice system and those who tried to execute him for a crime he didn’t commit. But he’s not. In fact, he sees his time on death row as a blessing.

Nick Yarris spent 22 years on death row for a crime he did not commit (Picture: Dogwoof)

Speaking to Metro.co.uk while promoting the Crime + Investigation series I Am A Killer, the 57-year-old said: ‘Without this wonderful gift that death row was to me, I could have never truly lived as lovely a life as I do now. I fell in love with my wife, I live in Oregon, I can help others. So how can I possibly not recognise what a blessing it was?

‘I went to jail during the days of my life when I stuck needles in my arms. It was up to me to find out what was decent about myself, and every day I have tried. The 14 years of my freedom have been harder than all my years on death row combined.

‘My ordeal ended on January 16th 2004, and my life began on January 16th 2004. At the age of 42, I began life. And since that time, I’ve had every imaginable horrible thing done to me. And yet, I’ve not lost any of the qualities I owed myself to find on death row. So if I didn’t find out how beautiful I was on death row, I would have been a mess.’

In fact, after leaving prison, Yarris went on to become a motivational speaker and has worked with the penal system to try and improve it, rather than ‘making it personal’.

He explained: ‘I go out of my way to try and help the penal system. Prison guards suffer with depression and aggression and domestic violence, they have high rates of suicide, and I feel so bad because they’re not trained in psychological theory. I figured, instead of feeling resentment towards the system that dealt you wrong, why not make it better? Instead of making it personal, make it better. So that’s what I do.

‘That’s why you can’t get angry. Don’t take it personally, because there’s still so many men incarcerated right now. 150 men have been released from death row, and 22 of those by DNA – it wasn’t just me. We didn’t have fingerprint technology until 140 years ago, so imagine all of the people who got away with crimes before than. I’m glad that technology is introducing these tools to help us. But the true nature of the justice system is human interaction, honesty and integrity.

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‘I’ve met amazing prosecutors that I really respect. A lot of people like to complain about the police, but when someone is crawling through your window at 3.30am with a knife in their teeth and they’re trying to cut your grandmother’s throat, you’re not going to call somebody on Facebook, you’re gonna call 999. That’s the reality.’

While sitting in solitary confinement on death row for two decades, Nick used his time educating himself and becoming a strikingly eloquent speaker. But it wasn’t just to help his case.



He said: ‘I only embarked on the education that I did so that I could speak with eloquence on the day they executed me, never expecting to get out. I had 100 years plus to get through. I never truly believed I would ever be free.

‘Thankfully, I was so driven by my efforts at education that I put a real separation physically and mentally between myself and my surroundings. I took on a different role. Because I wasn’t actually guilty, I decided to would try to be a helping hand to those that were in there that were worthy of my time. One of them is now free, another one sadly still sits on death row. I wanted to make myself a caring person, still, because I didn’t want to be desensitised. I didn’t want to lose my humanity because they lost theirs.’

Nick’s efforts at education meant that even though he left prison in an entirely different millenium, he didn’t feel left behind: ‘From 1981 to 2004 I was incarcerated and every day I was in solitary confinement. And yet, because I was good on a typewriter, when I got out I was so well adapted that technologically, I didn’t suffer at all. Within ten months of my release I spoke on the floor of parliament.

‘I wanted to stand up for my friends who were still on death row, but also, I wanted to use what I was and be a gentleman, be polite, be courteous – but also have a purpose. Do not sit back and waste your life. I decided that my purpose was that I would go around the world and help young people with their education. I’m really grateful for the lives of the people I’ve managed to help or save with The Fear Of 13. There are so many suicidal young in prison who want to hurt themselves that I’ve been helping.’

Nick uses his time and education to improve the penal system and help prisoners on death row (Picture: Facebook)

Nick is working on the new series I Am A Killer, which speaks to convicted prisoners about the events before their crime, as well as the events themselves.


But his own story was told in the documentary The Fear Of 13, in which the incidents leading up to his wrongful conviction were explained in heartbreaking detail.

Nick’s story is incredibly told, and while there is some criticism of the true crime phenomenon being exploitative of those involved, Yarris thinks it can make a change.

He told us: ‘I think it’s a wonderful genre. I have an idea for a show, where I want to go meet the jurors who got it wrong. I want to talk to them and see the parallels in their lives after they passed judgement on someone, sentenced them to death, before they proved themselves to be innocent. How do you reconcile with that? Do you feel duped? Or do you feel “so what”?

‘That’s what I feel is lacking, I want to use the genre in a clever way, to pull out features about ourselves and how the justice system affects us and how it makes us feel about ourselves. I would love to present that show and see how it turns out.’

While shows like Making A Murderer and podcasts like Serial are actively influencing what happens to these people in prison – newly recovered evidence and public outrage is forcing appeals and retrials – Nick did not have those avenues when he was on death row.

‘I got turned down by every organisation, that’s why I asked to be executed. I was turned down by everyone because my lawyers didn’t believe in me. At the same time, today’s attitudes are so different. There’s citizen review committees, prosecutoral review committees, there’s conviction integrity units. We know that sometimes they get it wrong. There used to be a staunch argument that they never got it wrong.


‘I was a lone voice at a time when the prison system was expanding and expanding and so many people were crying out for help.’

Now 14 years out of prison, death row still lingers in Nick’s thoughts – but not in the way you’d imagine. It has shaped his outlook on life, and he told us that even though we’re not confined behind walls, we’re all technically on death row.

‘What I go through now in my life, I will never give in and kill myself, simply because it can never be as bad as it was. I’ve had some terrible things happen to me out here. Life out here is death row without knowing the date of your death sentence.

‘Sweetheart, you are living with a death sentence, just like I am, but there’s no process, no appeals. That’s the greatest lesson of my life, from death row and living next to someone who is a killer, taught me I’m always living under a death sentence. It’s a wonderful reminder that you only have so much time to file the appeals that make your legend, that make the story of who you were. They’re the only appeals you’ve got.’

I AM A KILLER airs Tuesdays, 9pm on Crime + Investigation.

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