HI, FRIENDS, I’M HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT IPPEI-KUN — JAPAN’S WORLD CUP MASCOT AND THE LOW-KEY BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE WORLD CUP.

Ippei-kun the frog, from Japan’s Ehime Prefecture, is in Russia for the World Cup. @ippei69 pic.twitter.com/Npv7RgUynE — Mondo Mascots (@mondomascots) June 19, 2018

IPPEI-KUN’S TWITTER ACCOUNT HAS BECOME A MUST-FOLLOW FOR TWO KEY REASONS:

IF YOU LIKE WATCHING MASCOTS CONFUSING LOCALS BY TRAVELING LIKE PEOPLE, YOU’RE IN FOR A TREAT. THE TRANSLATED VERSIONS OF THIS FROG’S TWEETS ARE ART.

“I’m going to bed on the lawn and looking up. That’s it. Although it is 22 o’clock, it is still faintly bright. White night Whew. happiness. Because it is a frog, I think that this is fine. Oh, I feel good, I feel good”

THIS IS SO DEEP FOR A FROG MASCOT! I LOVE YOU, IPPEI-KUN!

“Tentatively, sightseeing! Heavy labor called”

“A god who does not look up. Kusso hot”

“Also moved. Movement was too long and a headache started. Alive I can return home”

EVERY ONE OF THESE IS THE MOST MOVING HAIKU I HAVE EVER READ. NO I DIDN’T COUNT THE SYLLABLES BECAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY CRYING AND REFLECTING ON MY LIFE.

“Move, move and also move. What is alive? Is it alive?”

FROM WHAT I CAN GATHER, IPPEI’S ENTIRE LIFE IS ONE EXISTENTIAL TORMENT THAT VACILLATES BETWEEN THE PAIN OF PHYSICAL ACTIVITY AND PONDERING ITS MORTALITY. I CAN IDENTIFY WITH THIS FROG AND IT’S ENNUI ON EVERY SINGLE LEVEL.

“Mr. catchy like catchy, it is too much gray, I suffer a fatal injury in my heart. When you get home, please treat with Ginza ‘s caitain right away Yumin * Members who are tired from the dark rice selling in Russia”

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THIS MEANS, BUT TEARS ARE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE. SOMEONE STOP THE SALE OF DARK RICE RIGHT NOW!

“And the mouth is closed and straightening Now”

THIS FEELS LIKE A CRY FOR HELP!

I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED FOR IPPEI-KUN!

@gmgm 0827: What is empty? What? What?

@ippei69: Do you have soup

I’D GIVE YOU ALL THE SOUP, IPPEI-CHAN!

“I am worried and worried because I am anxious”

“Ah ,,, Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety and sigh only come. . . Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety and anxiety”

WHEN IT’S ALL SAID AND DONE, A FROG SUFFERING FROM THE TORMENT OF EXISTENCE CAN ONLY ACCEPT THE PRESENT AND EMBRACE WHERE IT IS AT THIS PRECISE MOMENT IN TIME.

“E-Earth! ! ! !”

IF YOU ARE IN RUSSIA AND SEE IPPEI, PLEASE GIVE IT A HUG FOR ME.