Today's Lineups:

Home Team

Shadious Beavertown (ShadyBeaver)

Bernard Westmayne (DynamiteShovel)

Ripper the Wolf (Ripper the Wolf)

Balasar Shieldbiter (Daiko)

Goblin Scourge the Rabbit (Goblin Scourge the Rabbit)

Xeaon Ravenwood (Xeaon)

Unavailable

Kilgan Fireheart V (Vilhjalmir) - Still the Gulag

Thoran Stonecrusher (HarryGoLucky) - Possibly dead

Away Team

Dungeon Master (jptoc)

All kinds of evil shit (jptoc)

Where we left off:

We killed an Owlbear and fought a lot in the bar. Beavs is now cosplaying as John Cena.

0 - It's time to make our way towards the Nun.

5 - Shadious leads the way and asks for the reward. She asks a few questions and hands over the three promised potions, which Shadious grabs. Shadious can fuck off.

6 - Bernard wants more. We're trying to fleece a nun.

7 - Beavertown is convinced that he needs to intimidate the Nun while Bernard scans the place.

9 - Shadious draws his sword and places it on his throat, but Balasar draws his scimitar and puts it between the throat and rapier. After the party leave the house, the Nun hands Balasar an extra potion.

13 - The Party explore the village and find Halia's house who runs the Miner Exchange.

14 - She's not in, so they move on to the Miner Exchange.

15 - Balasar begins talking to the woman behind the desk, but is stimied as he's not a miner, he's just a shithouse bard.

16 - Beavertown tries to convince the woman that she's in love with him. She's not.

17 - He flirts in the hopes that she enjoys it. She doesn't.

18 - Shovel tries to get some work from her in the hopes that he can gain some money. She asks him to explain who he has helped in town. Bernard explains that the Party have helped kill the Red Cloaked Redbrands.

19 - Turns out Glass Staff's a bit of a prick. If the Party kill him, they gain gold to go on top of their free pints. This may be a good deal.

20 - Goblin Scourge wants to be paid too. He's not getting paid.

23 - To assist in the sneak attack, Bernard tells Halia to tell the town that the Party will kill Glass Staff. Balasar pays her to not tell everyone.

25 - The other miners recognise that the Party may have been involved in the grenade attack.

26 - Beavs shit talks the Inn's owner and then pisses in the corner. The Party make their way to the other Bar.

28 - In that bar, the Party see their former victims' bodies on the ground. Balasar assists in removing the bodies, and gets a Banana Milkshake for his effort.

31 - Beavertown gets himself a strawberry surprise in the hopes that it isn't poison. He then drops the drink like an idiot.

32 - Bernard wants a milkshake and gets it in a takeaway bowl. He and the barmaid wink at each other. Bernard's in, lads.

33 - Goblin Scourge sips on his saucer of water.

34 - Helia runs into the bar, out of breath, and tells the party about a Servant Goblin that is in the manor. She then leaves. Great DM work.

38 - The Party eventually decide that Goblin Scourge should scout around the manor.

41 - Scourge comes back with some interesting information about a hidden cellar.

43 - We're making this a lot more complicated than it needs to be.

44 - Shadious sneaks up to the manor. No one is in the main manor. They're all in the cellar.

46 - Shadious tries to sneak down the hatch. Making his way down, he can't see anything out of the ordinary. Upon closer inspection, he notices whiffs of ale and meat.

48 - Shadious lets the Party know they can jump down. Xeaon investigates the room, finding a door, an almost broken down wall and a potentially false wall.

50 - The pool in the centre of the room seems to contain a waterproof bag. As is typical, Shadious tries to grab it.

51 - It contains a potion of healing, a potion of invisibility, 50 gold and a clean set of clothes.

52 - Beavertown convinces the Party that there was nothing down there.

53 - Bernard checks out the barrels. Meat and ale. We're coming back for that.

54 - The Party make their way through the secret door. They've been discovered. Turns out only Balasar and Goblin Scourge have been discovered. The others have run off.

55 - Shadious scouts ahead as Balasar and the Rabbit fight.

56 - Xeaon steps up beside Balasar. Bernard moves a little forward, but refuses to get involved.

57 - Scourge dives into combat instantly, looking to redeem himself. He doesn't.

58 - Carlos and Scott the Redbrands dive forward and charge at Balasar. Phil 'ya man' the Redbrand join them. Both Carlos and Scott try to kill Balasar, but fail miserably.

59 - Balasar swings back at Carlos and hits him hard, his scimitar getting temporarily lodged in Carlos' body.

60 - Bernard peeks around the corner and casts Vicious Mockery at 'ya man' Phil. Phil's mocked ruthlessly by Bernard, and his feelings get hurt.

62 - Shadious keeps moving ahead, and tries to cross a wooden bridge. Beavertown gets a feeling of dread as he moves ahead. He then turns back. Shithouse.

65 - Ripper moves into the room with the pool, and joins the fight, snarling at the Redbrands.

66 - Xeaon casts Mage Armour on himself and swings his stick at Carlos, who laughs off the damage. Ripper dives in and his teeth tear into Carlos' throat.

68 - Scourge jumps into the fray once more. He's taking heart from Ripper's attack. GS dives at Phil and stabs him in the leg before moving away.

70 - Phil dives after the rabbit, his pride hurt. Scourge takes a hit and crumples, his skull caved in. Scourge just manages to turn his head to the party before his death.

71 - Balasar feels a brings out the Greataxe and swings underarm, catching Scott on the inner thigh, launching him clean over the pool.

75 - Bernard breaks the news of Scourge's death with Shadious, who doesn't seem concerned. The two then walk off back down the path Beavertown took.

76 - Xeaon throws fire at Phil, barely hitting 'ya man', only managing to burn away his shirt.

77 - Bernard calls to Ripper and tells him to get out of the combat.

78 - Phil's momentum draws him forward and he tries to attack Balasar, who just blocks with the greataxe. Balasar then roars at Goblin Scourge's killer and crushes Phil's skull with one blow from the Greataxe.

80 - Xeaon throws another fireball, striking Scott, killing him outright. He then disguises himself as Carlos.

81 - Beavertown gives Scourge one final ashes to ashes speech, and Bernard scoops the fallen rabbit up and carries him in his pouch.

83 - Balasar is annoyed at Shadious and pushes him aside.

84 - Xeaon tries to cross the bridge and feels the same dread the Shadious felt earlier.

85 - The ropes of the bridge come loose and Xeaon falls down the chasm. Balasar feels the same dread that the others did, but walks on. Bernard does the same. Shadious sits back.

88 - Xeaon casts light upon himself and spots a one eyes creature looking back at him. The creature is cackling and whispering.

89 - The creature stalks towards the party, whispering directly into the party's mind. 'who are you'. Balasar gets down into the cavern and tries to lift Xeaon out, but fails.

91 - The creature knows Beavertown's name and speaks directly to him. Shadious responds by firing a wand at it, which misses. He's currently freaking the fuck out.

92 - Bernard tries to talk to the creature. Creature lets them know that Glass Staff feeds it. Will they do the same?

93 - Shadious tries to tell the creature about a nearby banshee. He'll spread rumours about the banshee, bringing in unexperienced adventurers that it can feed on.

95 - The creature sees through Xeaon's disguise. Shadious continues to try and negotiate.

100 - Shadious tries to convince Balasar to drag a body for the monster to eat. He thinks the TELEPATHIC MONSTER won't know his super secret plan.

101 - Shadious tells Balasar about what he found in the pool.

104 - Xeaon uses Jump and leaps up from the cavern floor and lands beside Balasar.

105 - Xeaon drinks his banana milkshake.

106 - Shadious drags Phil's body back and throws it to the Nothic, who feasts on it. It then tells the Party that there's 10 people in the next room.

107 - Beavertown then threatens the creature. It's too busy eating, so he drinks his potion of invisibility.

109 - Xeaon and Shadious come up with their own plan to draw out the Redbrands.

110 - The two walk forward and find a storeroom. The magical energy from the main cavern still floods this room. There's plenty of beaver pelts and several weapons in there. Nothing else though.

111 - The two make their way back to the room that the three earlier Redbrands entered from, but there's nothing there.

114 - Seems like Glass Staff's across the other side of the bridge.

115 - Beavertown tries to climb the wall across, but fails miserably, failing to even get his first step.

116 - Xeaon tries to jump over the bridgeless gap but fails and falls right beside the Redbrand which is still tearing at the Redbrand.

117 - They cross the second bridge. It doesn't fail.

118 - Balasar and Shadious get Xeaon out of the cavern.

119 - Bernard follows the invisible Shadious while Balasar and Xeaon go the other way. Bernard eventually realises that he's not helping, so he joins the other two.

120 - Beavertown discovers two doors, while Xeaon discovers a door and a corridor which leads towards another door.

121 - Shadious opens the door to his left and slips into the room, walking in on four Redbrands playing dice. All of them panic and draw their swords.

122 - The four Redbrands are called various spellings of Derek.

123 - Xeaon in disguise tricks the Redbrands into following him out of the door Shadious opened.

125 - Shadious opens another door and discovers three bugbears and a goblin, which faints. The bugbears (Arthur, Buster and Muffy) roar and run out, straight into Balasar.

127 - Xeaon shows the Rebrands the Nothic, which is still eating Phil.

128 - Time for another scrap.

130 - Balasar swings his greataxe at the oncoming Bugbears, but misses.

131 - Ripper rushes under Balasar's legs and rips at Arthur the Bugbear's arm, dealing big damage. Bernard follows it up with a Vicious Mockery, which destroys Arthur's reality and he now knows he's just a DM's joke.

131 - Muffy and Buster can't get out of the door. Arthur swings his morningstar at Balasar, dealing major damage.

134 - The Derricks continue to move forward on the Nothic. Xeaon enters a secret door, completely abandoning his team. He discovers a barracks, stocked to the brim with weapons.

136 - The Deric Brigade move forward on the Nothic, which is now startled. It attacks back, almost slaughtering the first Deryck on the spot.

138 - The Nothic takes a monstrous hit and screams, sending chills through everyone nearby.

139 - Beavertown throws ball bearings under the Bugbears, causing their movement to suffer. Buster falls over, but Muffy stands strong. Buster thinks it was the Goblin so he turns to kill it.

141 - Balasar annoyed by his first miss, crushes Arthur who is smashed into the back wall, twitching as he struggles to move.

142 - Bernard casts Cure Wounds on Balasar. Ripper dives at Arthur, but misses, having struggled to squeeze past Balasar.

143 - Muffy the Bugbear steps out and swings at Balasar, who takes moderately big damage.

144 - Xeaon accidentally deletes himself from the game and then moves forward when he has returned.

145 - The Nothic swings his claws at the Redbrands, dealing monstrous damage to Derrick, who dies instantly. His fellow Dereks swing at the creature, but in their rage, two miss. The final Derek dives upon the creature, stabbing his sword through its neck. Nothic's still standing though.

147 - Beavertown hides some more.

148 - Balasar swings at Muffy, barely dealing damage. The Bugbear is enraged at this slight.

149 - Bernard fires his crossbow at Arthur, looking to kill off the downed Bugbear, but he misses.

150 - He gives Balasar some Bardic Inspiration. Balasar will remember this great deed.

151 - Ripper dives in to the fray once more and rips the remaining life from Arthur.

152 - Muffy's Morningstar swings at Balasar, but misses.

153 - Buster goes for the unconcious Goblin, and swings. Droop the Goblin just barely survives, his legs now crushed.

154 - Xeaon hits Muffy with a Fireball, burning the door and the Bugbear. There's a small fire spreading, but it's just sparks, so no danger.

155 - One of the Dereks is hit by the Nothic's gaze, dealing major damage. This one is seeing the futility in life. Two of the Dereks smash the Nothic.

157 - Balasar is distracted by the flames and misses his swing.

158 - Bernard stabs at Muffy from under Balasar's arm, but instead, gets elbowed back by the Dragonborn. Ripper tries to dive through Balasar's legs, but is knocked to the side instead.

159 - Muffy once again swings for Balasar, knocking him unconcious.

162 - The Nothic and Dereks continue to fight, neither giving any ground.

163 - Shadious stabs at Buster's back with his Rapier, stabbing straight through his chest. Buster doesn't entirely understand what happened. Shadious tries to hide and succeeds.

166 - Bernard's instincts kick in and he steps between Balasar and the Bugbear. Balasar is back with a vengeance thanks to the Cure Wounds.

167 - Ripper goes for Muffy, trying to protect his master, but he fails.

168 - Muffy swings for Bernard, hitting cleanly. Bernard just manages to survive the hit.

169 - Buster gets angry because he can't see what attacked him.

170 - Xeaon attacks Muffy with another fireball, dealing a glancing hit.

171 - The Nothic continues to swing its claws at the Dereks, and carves into the remaining Redbrands, who all swing back.

172 - Beavertown rolls out and swings at Buster onces more, dealing big damage to the Bugbear. He then returns under the bed.

173 - Balasar hands Bernard his Health Potion and then swings for Muffy, but he misses.

175 - Bernard drinks the potion and then lies down on the ground as Ripper leaps over him, trying to attack Muffy. Wolf fails.

176 - Buster notices Shadious under the bed and swings his Morningstar, but fails to go through.

177 - Muffy swings for Balasar and smashes into his chest, almost knocking him down again.

178 - Xeaon says fuck this and almost destroys Muffy's head with a fireball. She's clinging to life at this point.

178 - The Nothic struggles with its attacks. One of the three remaining Dereks then hits in return, dealing some damage to the Nothic, which is almost dead.

179 - Shadious just jumped off the wall, slid under Buster's feet, and shot him. JP let him off with a shit roll. Shadious' arrow only just does damage. He's now trapped under Buster.

181 - Shadious rolls out of the way, but can't move too far.

182 - Balasar finishes off Muffy. Roond ye ya Bugbear prick.

183 - Bernard moves in and attacks Buster, hitting, but not hitting hard. The arrow just strikes his calf.

184 - Ripper moves in and finishes off Buster, snapping the Bugbear's spine.

185 - The Nothic attacks, but misses in its incredibly weakened state. Another of the Dereks falls, and the remaining two slaughter the Nothic.

186 - Shadious appears and looks to finish off the two remaining Dereks, but misses. Xeaon, still disguised as Carlos the Redbrand, fires off a Fireball with an evil laugh, destroying one.

188 - Carlos was supposed to marry one of the Derek's sisters. Shadious wants to piss on one of them.

189 - Shadious pisses on him then shouts that he shouldn't forget the name Bernard Westmayne. Xeaon just puts him out of his misery.

191 - Balasar pushes Beavertown into the cavern, where he lands in his own piss.