1. The Neapolitan (aka knee-a-poli-tan) tan.

2. The seat belt tan.

3. The vest tan.

4. The sock tan.

5. The hat tan.

6. The watch tan.

7. The Tour de Tan.

8. The maths-joke-that’s-probably-photoshop tan*.

9. The gardener’s glove tan.

10. The I-suspect-that-might-be-fake tan.

* Tan, like the tangent in trigonometry. Yay.