NRA Comes Out as Gay

Oct 16, 2018

The National Rifle Association is officially a gay organization, says NRA president Oliver North, in the following prepared speech:

Friends, to those who know us, this will come as no surprise.

I love a man in a uniform. Just as much as the next man.

Are you aware of the hidden Masonic meaning behind the Second Amendment? The Founding Bros chose the Second Amendment to be second for a symbolic reason. The number 2 is an esoteric reference to the mythological “second man.” You all know the first woman (Eve) and the first man (Adam), but without a second man, gay cannot exist. You need two to gay tango.

For this I support the Second Amendment. I support Gun Rights.

The NRA has historically stood behind those who clutch our pistols with such bravado. And today, officially, we stand on top and join our fellow LGBTQNRA brothers and sisters during this month of October, Queer History Month.

“In Hollywood, there are more gun owners in the closet than homosexuals,” said Charlton Heston in a 1988 New York Times interview. But coming out as NRA Gay is still not easy, even in today’s more accepting political climate.

We are still bullied for shooting our guns together. Our friends and families have judged and rejected us for the fact that we were born with an eye toward the scope. We constantly face politicians who try to keep guns away from children and out of schools. They want guns to be illegal. They even call us criminals. This is blatant homophobia.

But thanks to the NRA, gays may now come together in a safe space to defend our Second Amendment rights.

What side are you on? It can be confusing to choose between the gendered language of pro-guns or no-guns. The choice is often non-binary. For this, I shall be very clear what side my statement is on. The new NRA is on the side of liberty! The NRA supports making laws to stop the shooting down of our fellow queers, of all humanity. Nothing our organization does or says will be off color once we truly taste the rainbow. We who have taken a bullet in our bleeding hearts shall be bullied no more. You’ll have to pry my lover’s gun from my cold, dead hands.

So put that NRA sticker on the back of your truck. Wear your NRA gear with True Pride.

Happy National Coming Out Month.

~Oliver North

#LGBTQNRA #SecondAmendment #NRAIsGay #NRAPride #RainbowBullets