'Bigger than football': Monroe Central coach wears Cowboys jersey for players' late father

Jake Fox | The Star Press

MUNCIE, Ind. — A football coach could wear almost anything on the sideline – a polo, windbreaker, sweater vest, even a shirt and tie – and no one would bat an eye. But when a coach in East Central Indiana is wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey… There has to be something there.

Why would Monroe Central coach John Hochstetler be wearing a Jason Witten jersey during a game?

To be clear: Hochstetler does not like the Dallas Cowboys. He grew up in a time where you chose to root for the Steelers or the Cowboys, and he picked Pittsburgh. Now he’s a Colts fan with special allegiance to the Redskins, only because of former player Ryan Kerrigan.

Hochstetler was wearing the jersey out of respect. Memory. Honor. Two Monroe Central players, Colton and Max Bradley, lost their dad suddenly last Monday at age 54. And Clay Bradley “lived and breathed” the Dallas Cowboys.

The outcome of the game was 60-0, a big win to start the season for the Golden Bears. But that didn’t matter as much. The real story Friday night was the brief moment of silence before kickoff, Hochstetler and the Bradley family in their Cowboys jerseys, a community coming together to mourn the death of a father and a friend.

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“It was sad, honestly, that somebody’s life was gone in a week’s time,” Hochstetler said. “We went from Monday, the shock, to Friday, the reality that he wasn’t going to be standing on the fence anymore. That’s less impactful toward me than the significance of what he meant to those kids. Their dad wasn’t there anymore, at least not in body.”

Monroe Central’s helmets will say “Bradley” on the bumper plate for the rest of the season in Clay’s memory. Here is his story.

***

Clay Bradley sure loved his boys. Football, basketball, weight lifting, it didn’t matter. He was a generous man who would always ask if they ever needed anything.

Hochstetler remembers one of the last conversations they had regarding one of his sons. “Push him,” Clay Bradley said. “You have my permission to push.” He wanted the best for them, and not only them, but also the programs they were involved in.

Lynn Swallow, who works with the boosters and is the mother of Monroe Central player Logan Swallow, said he was one of the Golden Bears’ most staunch supporters.

“He loved all the boys and was good to all of them,” Swallow said. “And he never wanted any credit. One of the last conversations I had with him, he gave us some money to feed the boys. I told him, ‘We want to list you in the program. How do you want it?’ And he said, ‘I don’t want that. I just know you take good care of my boys. Everybody takes good care of my boys and I appreciate that.’ That’s just the kind of guy he was.”

An Oklahoma native, Clay Bradley met his ex-wife DeAnna in 2000. He was a self-employed cable tech that came to her work to update the computer system. She moved to Oklahoma to be with him, they were married and Clay adopted Deanna’s three oldest children Christian, Marcie and Abbie. Colton and Max are their biological children.

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They moved back to Indiana in May 2010 and eventually divorced after 11 years. But as DeAnna said, “a lot of people wouldn’t even know we weren’t married.” They were still best friends that did almost everything together.

“He would still go to my mom and dad’s for dinner on Sundays,” DeAnna said. “He was still a big part of my family. He would come spend the night here on Christmas Eve so we would be together to watch the boys open presents. We still did all the birthday parties together, holidays together. … We went to games together, sat together. He was amazing. My children – our children, our boys and daughters – could not have had a better father figure.”

DeAnna never turns her phone off or puts it on silent. Their oldest son is in Iraq, and “you never know.” But for whatever reason, it was on the morning of Aug. 13. Her youngest son Max woke her up because Clay’s coworker had called him to tell them something was wrong. DeAnna had several missed calls.

When she called back, she heard the news. Clay had gone up on the scissor lift that morning and bent over, complaining he couldn’t breathe. He went down, and his coworker called the paramedics. But they couldn’t save him.

Clay Bradley died of a pulmonary embolism, a condition in which one or more arteries in the lungs becomes blocked by a blood clot. His time of death was 7:01 a.m.

“It was devastating. Just to have to tell my boys that, the look on their face, we were all in shock,” DeAnna said. “It was the worst thing me as a mother has ever had to do, to tell our boys that their dad had passed. He was my best friend. I couldn’t ask for a better co-parent, a better father for my children, a better best friend. They’re not adapting well. But with time, hopefully that gets better.”

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It has been difficult for everyone involved – DeAnna, the boys, their teammates trying to find the right words to say. DeAnna has noticed sometimes one of her sons will be staring off, tears rolling down his face. At the funeral this Monday in Oklahoma, they stayed at the cemetery until Clay’s body was lowered into the ground and covered. They still struggle to talk or eat at times.

DeAnna is in the impossible position of grieving her loss while also being there for her kids. It’s at least comforting to know she has a whole community behind her.

“I try to stay strong for them, but sometimes…,” she said, beginning to cry. “I break down more than they do. And they’re there hugging me, kissing me, telling me ‘Mom it’s going to be OK.’ I don’t know what I would do without them.

“We’ve had so much support. Without them, it would’ve been horrible. I don’t know what we would’ve done without our community and everything they have done for us.”

***

Once the shock wore off, Hochstetler and the boosters came together and asked: How can we help?

Swallow came up with the idea of collecting money. They organized Tuesday, then collected Wednesday and Thursday plus a little at the game Friday. In all, they collected over $1,200 to give to the family.

“I could cry thinking about it, and I did cry standing there,” Swallow said, “Here are high school boys walking out of the locker room that don’t have a lot of money anyway, digging in their pockets and handing me dollar bills all crunched up. ‘Here’s a $5, and here’s a $10.’ They just want to do what they can to help. And parents coming up to me, really in three days, to collect that for them in a small community is… it’s bigger than football, it’s family.”

There was a team dinner on Thursday, and it was learned that the Bradley family would be at the game on Friday. So there was not much time to plan.

Hochstetler said he wanted to wear Dallas stuff, because that was his joke with the Bradleys. He borrowed the jersey from student Will Jones. In the speech Swallow wrote for the announcer to read before the moment of silence, she put that he was “wearing Dallas gear for the very first and the very last time.” Colton (on his 17th birthday) and Max Bradley wore their game jerseys, but the rest of the family – including their brother, Christian, who was granted leave from Iraq – wore Cowboys jerseys as well.

“It was amazing,” DeAnna said. "I had never been in a community that was so supportive of Clay, of me, of the kids. We couldn’t ask for anything better. They brought us food, they donated their time and money. The number of messages and phone calls and texts that have come through, it has been amazing. Wonderful people.”

After the game, the family was presented with a Monroe Central banner that the community signed, as well as a signed football from the players. The Deckman family was behind the banner, which they had made because “(We) want those people in Oklahoma to know how special he was to us here, because they’ve never been here to see that.”

The team T-shirts this year will also say “BradleyStrong” on the left side where the heart is. That game, this season is bigger than football. That fits into the culture that Hochstetler has been building since he got here six years ago.

(Editor's Note: Jason Witten, a 15-year NFL veteran who was elected to 11 Pro Bowls during his career, tweeted the following after this story originally published).

“I think he cares about them and they know it,” Swallow said. “I teach school as well, and I know that if my kids know I care about them, they’ll walk through fire for you. Immediately it was, ‘How can we help them? How can we care for them?’ Even my son said, ‘It’s not about football right now, mom. We don’t care when they come back.’ And they need them on the field, trust me. … But I think he instills that. He’s trying to build great men and great football players second.”

While there have been great successes at Monroe Central over the last year, there have also been some trying times that could’ve fractured the community. Clay Bradley is a reminder that it is still united.

“Our school community family extends well beyond a football team,” Hochstetler said. “We all, in the football offseason, went through some agony of, no matter where you sat with some of the other things going on in our community, it weighed on your emotion and tested your resolve. Like in any family, it made us decide if we wanted to continue on and grow. It’s been a pleasant reminder that this group, these Monroe Central people, are forging on to new ground.

“And he’s a part of that family. He always will be.”

Jake Fox is a high school sports writer at The Star Press. Contact him at (765) 213-5848, jfox@muncie.gannett.com or @FoxJake_.