Anybody else at quarterback and the season might be over for the Eagles. Nick Foles is said to have injured his arm in fight with wolverines over the weekend, which was inspired by hating the new X-Men movie. Thankfully for the younger quarterback he, according to Connor Barwin, has a huge penis.

“Put a bunch of fleshy men in their 20s and 30s in a room together and someone’s bound to look,” said Foles in regards to Barwin’s claim that he (Foles) has the biggest penis on the team.

“It’s more than big,” added Foles. “It can do tricks.”

One trick Foles alleges his penis is capable of accomplishing is throwing a football. While he may have no hands on his coronal ridge, balancing the oval shaped pigskin is easy with his thick foreskin.

“I’ve seen the thing,” said Coach Chip Kelly. “I thought it was Brian Urlacher at first. Then I remember Brian Urlacher is much uglier than a cock.”

An official measurement of “Little Nick” will be taken once training camp begins.