VANCOUVER — The landmark ruling against the Trans Mountain Pipeline expansion was heralded as a win for BCs massive pod of coal tankers and the people who love them.

“Today we can rest a little easier knowing that our beautiful giant coal carriers can safely ply the straits of BC on their majestic journeys out across the Pacific,” said Gerald Bremer, coal carrier enthusiast. “Without having to worry about those nasty, ugly oil tankers getting in their way.”

Vancouver is the largest exporter of coal in North America, with 36.8 million tonnes moving through two terminals in the city onto huge bulk carriers and out into world in 2017.

Activists have been raising awareness by handing out “Conserve the Carriers” bumper stickers and selling coal flavoured jelly beans door-to-door.

“These are gentle creatures of industry that deserve our protection,” said Coal Alliance spokesperson Sarah Kreischer. “Together they help to enrich the air with 100 million tonnes of CO2 over the lifetime of a year’s supply of coal.”

Supporters of gigantic floating tubs carrying the world’s most polluting fossil fuel also noted the increased pressure on the carrier’s habitat. All along the west coast of the United States coal terminals have been closing due to environmental concerns. Some see this as part of the inevitable decline of coal as a useful source of energy and economic activity. But Mr. Bremer remains hopeful for the future, especially as Vancouver took the initiative to begin exporting several million tonnes of American coal a year.

“It’s a great time for big belching hulks filled with coal in the waters around Vancouver. I hope this ruling can ensure my children, and their children, will be able to enjoy the sight of these great beasts doing their elegant dance through narrow straits. And hear their melancholy song as they help make coal emissions someone else’s problem.”