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The worst psychics were the ones who spent the entire visit channeling spirits, always connecting with some demonic "angry male" lurking in the basement, or any other triggery nightmare fuel for someone who might be popping haloperidol like M&Ms. One psychic in particular spent the whole time claiming she was being touched in a sexual manner and would respond either with flirtation or by shouting down her invisible attacker and folding into the fetal position.

Then you get the professional psychics who get called in along with us to try to talk to the "spirit." Get more than one of them in a room (like if the client also claims to be psychic) and they start competing with each other. It's like a rap battle, only all the "bitches" and "yo mama" snaps are replaced with "suicide" and "so many bodies buried in the yard ..." The end result (weirdly often) is Angry Male being told to leave and the trapped little ghost girl (always named Sarah) being told to go into the light. One psychic once insisted she sensed a spirit outside the back door of the kitchen inside one of the trash cans, like some sort of phantasmal Oscar the Grouch.

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"Tell them to stop Grover ... while they can ..."

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In spite of our best efforts at damage control, by the time the psychics were holding cleansing vigils and busting out the White Light, the clients either had gone into the depths of a fear spiral or were so eager to see a resolution to the drama that they could hardly wait to see what we found. At the "reveal" where we go over our recordings, they would usually be crushed by the monumental lack of any paranormal evidence whatsoever. No EVPs, no video, nothing.