Do you know the legend of Frank “Pistol Pete” Eaton, the Wild West gunslinger whose likeness later became the mascot of Oklahoma State, Wyoming, and New Mexico State?

Old mascot stuff tends to be disturbing, but Pete’s back story is as bleak as it gets. It’s basically Red Dead Redemption.

Here’s OSU’s version of the story, via Assistant Director of Athletics Communications Sean Maguire (my emphasis added throughout):

"My boy, may an old man's curse rest upon you, if you do not try to avenge your father...You must never stop until they are all accounted for!" These words, according to one of Eaton's many stories were spoken by a family friend following the brutal murder of his father, and guided the formative years of Frank's life. Born in 1860, in Hartford, Connecticut, Frank moved with his family to Kansas shortly after the close of the Civil War. When Frank was eight years old, his father, a former Union soldier, was shot and killed by a group of lawless former Confederates. Frank was a witness to the murder and each of the murderers' faces was imprinted in his memory.

Yay! Sports!

After being challenged to avenge his father's death by Mose Beaman, (the family friend) Frank set out to learn how to handle guns. Mose gave him a gun and holster, and taught him how to handle and shoot guns. Frank quickly learned to "shoot a snake's head off with either hand".

Don’t tell Mike Gundy this.

During the next few years, Frank's days were spent helping his mother with chores and practicing shooting. With each passing year, he became faster and more accurate with his guns. When Frank was 15, he learned of the location of one of his father's killers. After deciding it was almost time to set out on his mission, Frank wanted to make sure his shooting skills were good enough. He decided to visit Fort Gibson, a cavalry fort, to try to learn more about handling a gun. There he competed with the cavalry's best marksmen, beating them each time. After many competitions, the fort's commanding officer, Colonel Copinger, gave Frank a marksmanship badge and a new name. From that day forward, Frank would be known as Pistol Pete! Frank then set out on the trail of his father's killers. First was Shannon Campsey. Frank killed him on his own front porch.

Go, Frank, Go!

Doc Ferber was next; he was shot off of his horse with "two 45 slugs through his breast".

Wooooooooo! Yay team!

John Ferber would have been next, but the day before Frank caught up with him, he was shot for cheating at cards. Frank went to his funeral just to make sure he was dead.

Go team! Win at sports!

At John Ferber's funeral, Frank met a Deputy United States Marshal who was on the trail of the same men. After talking about the men, Frank was offered, and accepted a commission. At 17, Frank became a Deputy U.S. Marshal under Judge Isaac C. Parker, "the hanging judge."

Let’s score a touchdown in the big game!

Frank then caught up with Jim and Jonce Campsey together. They were both shot as they drew on Frank.

Push ‘em back, push ‘em back, waaaaay back!

Finally Frank tracked down the last murderer in New Mexico. Wyley Campsey was shot in a barroom gunfight along with two of his hired gunmen. Finally, after six long years, Frank Eaton was able to avenge his father's death.

HELL YEAH, FRANK

Each man drew his gun first, but came out "second best" in the end. Stories such as the above contributed to the fame and notoriety of Frank Eaton. He lived the life of a true cowboy, said to "pack the fastest guns in the Indian Territory", he usually carried a loaded forty-five and often said "I'd rather have a pocket full of rocks than an empty gun". His quick-draw was the source of much interest throughout his later years, and Glenn Shirley of Stillwater, OK remembers taking him to an Indian Territory Gun Collectors Association meeting to show off his skills. He was also known to throw a coin in the air, draw, and shoot it before it hit the ground according to H.F. Donnelley of Stillwater who saw it himself. Donnelley also remembers Eaton picking up burning coals that had fallen out of the fire in his Blacksmith shop, with his toes (his feet were so worn and calloused that he couldn't feel it)! When he died, his obituary appeared throughout the country, in the New York Times, Newsweek Magazine, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the San Francisco Chronicle, The Cattleman, The 1959 American People's Encyclopedia Yearbook among others, each listing him as a former Deputy U.S. Marshal. In addition, according to his daughter, Elizabeth Wise of Perkins, OK his family received sympathy letters from as far away as Germany, Canada and Japan and was besieged with visitors at his home for many months following the funeral.

Hoorayyy! Let’s cheer some sports!

Pistol Pete has never been more frightening. https://t.co/uKo1Ky50bB — SB Nation GIF (@SBNationGIF) September 26, 2014

On this week’s Shutdown Fullcast, we’d requested OSU to develop an unbearably dark back story for Pistol Pete. Looks like that was already done! I think we knew there was something like this boiling behind that plastic face (it’s a haunted-looking gunman named after a Wild West thing, after all), but at least two of us didn’t realize it was anywhere near this severe.

This might only be topped by Rice’s Owl getting strapped with a rifle and bayonet while being kidnapped by Texas A&M 100 years ago.