I can’t stand it, you know we banned it

I’m-a set straight this DUI rate

I can’t stand recallin’ you all back here

On Saturday when I’d rather be drinkin’ a beer

So while you’re at parade rest and wonder why

I got you formed up on a Friday outside

Oh my god, it’s a relief

I’m tellin’ y’all it’s a safety brief

So so so—

So listen up, cuz you can’t get arrested

If she tells you “no” then don’t molest it

But if back to your place she has gone

Put on a rubber, and keep it on and on

Cuz later on you might just see

An STD — it’s gonna burn when you go pee

You’re schemin’ on a thing that’ll give you grief

I’m tryin’ to tell ya now, it’s a safety brief

Listen all o’ y’all, it’s a safety brief

Listen all o’ y’all, it’s a safety brief

Listen all o’ y’all, it’s a safety brief

Listen all o’ y’all, it’s a safety brief

I can’t stand it, you know we banned it

You go and get high, there’s no alibi

Cuz if your stoner friend passes what he’s got

And you smoke pot you know you’re gonna piss hot

But make no mistakes or passes are cancelled

I’m Jimmy Mattis when I fly off the handle

What could it be, it’s a relief

You’re schemin’ on a thing, in your safety brief