It’s become the norm in these most extraordinary of political times: the prime minister suffers another humiliating defeat after two years of negotiations on the most important decision in decades, and no one in the House of Commons shouts: “Resign!”

Although there is little, if any, sympathy for Theresa May (the consensus being that she is the author of her own misfortune), no leader of any party stands up and demands she steps down. Even though it’s widely recognised that the prime minister is largely the problem, it’s accepted that the Conservative party is unlikely to find anyone much better to replace her.

Having crossed the floor of the House of Commons last month, I now sit opposite the Conservative benches. It’s a sorry sight – rows of men, with smatterings of women – a party in crisis, riven by division and acrimony, incapable of providing the leadership and clarity our country is crying out for.

My view of Jeremy Corbyn is now almost entirely obscured, but I can hear him well enough, and yet again it’s cometh the hour, cometh the sellout. Corbyn mentioned the people’s vote only once in parliament yesterday and today Labour will yet again table its Brexit deal (which has failed to win support even more times than Theresa May’s deal).

Labour should be honouring its policy of representing the views of members and voters and taking the lead on a people’s vote. It’s as if the party conference vote to take Brexit back to the people when all other options had been exhausted had never happened. Labour’s refusal to back a second vote seems to become more determined the more obvious it is that this is the only way out of the Brexit crisis. Some of us have been saying it for a long time and I think we are finally getting through – Corbyn is never going to back a people’s vote. He believes in Brexit in any event, and a second referendum would force him to choose between backing remain or some version of May’s deal.

We accordingly find ourselves with both front benches colluding to deny voters a final say on Brexit because they fear the outcome – Britain remaining in the European Union. It’s a shabby situation, but as we know from the entire Brexit process, anything can happen and we must press forward to give parliament the opportunity to back a people’s vote.

Even after suffering another humiliating defeat last night, the government is still playing games. Having promised a vote on the no-deal option, it’s tabled a motion that would trap parliament into leaving on 29 March with a “deal”. May’s plan is clear: she will keep on coming back and try to batter us into submission and vote for her rotten withdrawal agreement with the clock ticking.

The Independent Group has tabled amendments and will support others that simply and cleanly ensure Britain will not leave the EU without a deal. Tomorrow, we will press for parliament to vote on the options that remain, including extending article 50 to enable another referendum.

Leaving the Conservative party and joining a group of kindred spirits has been both invigorating and liberating. Free of the emotional stress and ties to a political party I’d long stopped feeling at home in, I believe I am better able to take a cool look at where we are on Brexit and what lies ahead. I can barely resist the temptation of saying, “told you so” to May and her advisers, who must surely now regret not taking up the offer, two years ago, of the undoubted majority compromise that existed in parliament for what’s now called “Norway plus”.

So where are we? Well, I reckon that parliament will step into the political vacuum created by the pitiful leadership of both main parties. As the options wither for want of a settled majority, it will become clear that the only solution is a people’s vote. But to secure this requires honesty and courage from MPs on both sides of the House of Commons. It has never been more important to put country before party.

• Anna Soubry is a former Conservative MP who left the party to join the Independent Group

• This article was amended on 13 March 2019. In an earlier version it was said that Jeremy Corbyn failed to mention the people’s vote once in parliament yesterday (12 March).