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Who needs a kitten? Kittens are cute, but this older model (approximately 2 or 3 years old) comes with all these great features:

Medium-length, silky black coat, freshly shampooed

Huge, soulful golden eyes that stare STRAIGHT INTO YOUR SOUL

Speaks all 37 dialects of Felinese, and can sing (I think he's a tenor)

Quality, deep rumbling purr when contented

Litter box trained.

Two impressive testicles**

Endearing stupidity.

** You MUST be willing and able to take him to the vet and have him neutered and vaccinated! This is NON-NEGOTIABLE.

If you can give this gorgeous idiot a home, please call:

555-555-5555. NO TEXTS, PLEASE!

Thanks, and Happy Christmahannukwanzayule!