A MAN who lives in a village with a population of 72 has accused people who live in a massive cosmopolitan city of being somehow separated from the real world.

Norman Steele, 60, claims that all eight million people who live in London are part of the ‘metropolitan elite’ and think exactly the same as each other, whereas he and his four mates in the local pub have many diverse opinions, despite having spent every evening together since 1989.

Steele said: “In London, everyone spends their time eating avocados with chopsticks and laughing at us. They never go anywhere else, unlike me who drives 12 miles to the nearest town every two weeks for a bit of shopping.

“They haven’t got a clue about the rest of the country, whereas I know everything that’s going on because I read it in the Daily Mail and then discuss it with my neighbour Jim. He went to Croydon once.

“Londoners are too busy having sex with sourdough croissants to understand the lives of real people like us.”

Londoner Tom Logan said: “Am I imaginary?”