For the record, Hillary Clinton is committing to support our 2020 candidate, whoever that may be:

x I thought everyone wanted my authentic, unvarnished views! But to be serious, the number one priority for our country and world is retiring Trump, and, as I always have, I will do whatever I can to support our nominee. — Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) January 22, 2020

Can we put the pie down now?

Personally, I’d rather throw a vegan pie, but whatever.

“Blue no matter who” also applies to Hillary — and I think she knows that.

Personally, I’d vote for a giant plexiglas hamster ball full of hog anuses if it meant Donald Trump would be forced to pay for his own trips to Mar-a-Lago again. But that’s just me.

Joe Biden, Bernie, Elizabeth Warren, whoever.

Let’s just get this done, shall we? Enough distractions. (As if anyone will even remember this little dustup when the caucuses and primaries start.)

Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its super-fun sequels Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.