1. WHEELBONE

How can we make some money off the popularity of skateboarding?

Well we could invent thing rubbery dildo thing that you put over your board that stops the wheels from working,

adds some weight and gets in the way of fliptricks and grinds.

But that doesn’t seem like it would help people at all…..

Exactly.

2. STREET PADDLE

Worthless.

3. SKYHOOKS

You hope the people that buy this realize what dumbasses they are when they frantically try to get their feet out of the straps going 50 down the highway. Whoops!

4. SKATEBRAKE

I’ve seen mangled pipe cleaner art projects that look better than this.

5. MAGNET SKATEBOARD

180.180.180.360.360.180.180. YAY!



Check out more of the Jenkem Articles.

Words: James Lee

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