ORLANDO, FL—Expressing concerns that their home was starting to lose its distinctive character, Orlando locals were reportedly worried Monday that their beloved town was becoming completely overrun by vacationers. “Don’t get me wrong: Tourism dollars have helped the local economy, but the downside is that we have people visiting from all over the world and threatening to destroy what makes us uniquely Orlando,” said lifelong resident Sandra Dugas, telling reporters that ever since the city was featured in a 2014 episode of Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown, it was becoming harder and harder to enjoy hidden local treasures like The Animal Kingdom and The Wizarding World Of Harry Potter without having to share space with large tour groups. “Just yesterday, my husband and I were hoping to grab a bite at one of our neighborhood hangouts, Chef Mickey’s, but we couldn’t even get in without a reservation. So we decided to just spend a quiet evening taking in the Happily Ever After fireworks show like we’ve done thousands of times before, but we could barely make our way through Frontierland without practically running over some out-of-towner snapping photos.” Dugas reportedly took some comfort in the fact that if she wanted to avoid tourists altogether, she could always head on over to SeaWorld.

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