KFC wants you to give your mom a romance novella for Mother's Day.

In fact, they wrote one for you to give her. This is great if you don't want to spend hours thinking about what kind of ingenue she considers herself. Very thoughtful of them, that chicken company.

Well, also, the novella is starring a hunky (by hunky we mean, like, he's described as muscular) Colonel Sanders, a chicken magnate turned sailor in disguise who romances a stagnant young woman.

Tender Wings of Desire indeed.

If that's something so steamy that you feel like you need to get your hands on immediately, lucky you, the e-book is available for free download on Amazon. KFC is also giving away 100 free hardcopies on Facebook

Female protagonist Lady Madeline Parker first falls for Colonel Harland Sanders' "woolen peacoat crusted with sea salt," and his "light and fair" hair.

As their relationship grows, so does Lady Madeline's independence: "No longer did she have to maintain her modesty; on the contrary, she was free to be with whomever she desired, regardless of whether they were going to end up being her husband." Yes girl! Get it!

We know what you're thinking: does this book detail Colonel Sanders having sex with a human woman.

The answer is no, but only kind of. Though "to call their affair passionate was an understatement," Tender Wings of Desire blissfully only speaks in generalities like, "sometimes it seemed as though the two of them had been made to love each other, and they tried to do so at every given opportunity."

So, set aside a night that you feel comfortable looking back on with confusion, grab a bucket of fried chicken, and get to greasing up your Kindle. Happy Mothers' Day!