The infield shift has hurt the careers of many big leaguers, particularly those big lefty pull hitters, and some of them are using social distancing to fight back.

“I think we are all safety first,” said Chicago Cubs’ first baseman, Anthony Rizzo. “Regardless of how this terrible virus plays out, I think as a society we are going to find that continuing some of these social distancing stuff will become the new normal. When you have four infielders on one side of the field, I think it is simply too dangerous to allow. I have spoken to Dr. Fauci myself and we are in talks with him and Manfred of how we can make this dream a reality.”

The “we” Rizzo is referring to includes several other big leaguers who also suffer daily from the infield shift.

“We aren’t signing this petition for selfish reasons,” Rizzo’s teammate, Kyle Schwarber said. “This is to keep everyone safe, period. End of story. But yeah, if it boosts my slash line, I doubt I would complain.”

Even one former big leaguer got in on the debate.

“Man fuck the shift,” said Boston Red Sox legend, David Ortiz. “Get rid of it. If it’s gotta be from this social distancing whatever, ok, just get rid of that shit.”

Fauci plans to meet with Rizzo and company and Rob Manfred in the coming weeks.