*Names have been changed to protect identity

I bought the Rite Aid brand of adult diapers rather than Pampers. They were less expensive, and I wanted to support the pharmacy and show my appreciation for being open after midnight. I needed the diapers so I could get stoned in them and connect with my new friends, who I lovingly call the Diaper Stoners. The Diaper Stoners are an online kink community of adult baby/diaper lovers (AB/DL) who enjoy smoking weed while wearing a diaper. They can be found on online forums that connect people with non-normative sexual interests. I had never worn an adult diaper before. "If you're very nervous, maybe try taking a few hits and then putting it on," says Matt*, a 21-year-old Diaper Stoner from Kentucky. "Or diaper yourself and have a smoke sesh, see where that takes you."

AB/DL is a sexual fetish that involves role-playing as a baby. It's practiced by and among consenting adults. Some adult babies and diaper lovers simply appreciate the feel and comfort of wearing a diaper, even if they wear one by themselves. "It's largely a psychological fetish, and about sensation, largely in terms of the diapers," says Mistress Matisse, a professional dominatrix and the pot entrepreneur behind the weed lube company Velvet Swing [Editor's Note: Velvet Swing is one of MERRY JANE's sponsoring partners on Sex Week]. Others may engage in it with a partner, who will roleplay as the mommy or daddy, as part of dominance and submissive play, says kink-friendly sex therapist Galen Fous. "Psychologically it can be very comforting. It can allow you to be sexual with the approval of mommy or daddy," Fous says. "There's also liberation; you're just going to piss right then and there."

Yes, some adult babies enjoy peeing (and pooping) in their diapers, and it indeed makes them feel free. "I've always liked the idea of wearing diapers, but wearing them and getting stoned is great," says Dave, a 37-year-old Diaper Stoner from Ireland. "You can drink as much tea as you want without worrying about getting up and going toilet all the time."

"Marijuana not only increases the pleasure sensation diapers give me, but it also gives me the urge to act like a kid and even a baby"



A sexual fetish, such as wearing a diaper, is typically considered to be a deeply ingrained need that one has. There's a difference between having an AB/DL fetish and just exploring what it feels like to wear a diaper, though. "Some people can dabble versus the people who say, 'This is my fetish, and this is what gets me off,'" Fous explains. I was a dabbler. Plenty of weird shit gets me off, but I bought the diapers because I was curious. Perhaps more importantly, I was curious about why some adult babies and diaper lovers liked getting stoned in their nappies to such a degree that a vibrant online community existed for such a specific passion.

For some Stoner Diapers, they get high to increase senses and heighten the experience, just like people who smoke weed before a concert. Lucy, a 19-year-old from Missouri, says she loves how the crinkling sounds of a diaper increase when she's high. "Getting stoned heightens my sense of touch so that the feeling of being diapered is even more arousing as it fills up [with pee]," adds Matt. "Weed increases sensations which makes it a great additive to sex and fetishism," he explains. "Especially for diapers. They feel even more warm and cushy when you're half-baked." Dave from Ireland agrees that getting stoned and "wading around in a diaper" is a wonderful feeling.

OK, everyone. I'm going to take off my diaper and go into mommy mode now, because I can hear some of you, especially those that are high as fuck, giggling a little bit. Please do not make fun of adult babies. They would not make fun of you for being so uptight that you have to get up and run to shower the second after you come from having boring missionary sex, mister. Giggling is encouraged, but only from an innocent state of kindness. Such a mindset is precisely why some Stoner Diapers like to get baked.

"Marijuana not only increases the pleasure sensation diapers give me, but it also gives me the urge to act like a kid and even a baby," says Ryan*, a 33-year-old from Los Angeles. Like Ryan, many Stoner Diapers smoke weed because it helps them relax and feel more comfortable with themselves and their fetish. "Whether you're into diapers to be a non-sexual baby or a very naughty slave, weed helps put your mind in the right place. For many, it puts them in a happy 'little space,' and for others like me, it puts us into 'sub space,'" explains Matt. In kink terminology, "little space," refers to the mindset one steps into when they play a "little," (roleplaying an age younger than their own) and "sub space" refers to the mentality of relaxing into a submissive role. "I notice I'm able to go much deeper into little space when smoking and even more so with a diaper on," Lucy says.

"They feel even more warm and cushy when you're half-baked."



Whether we're kinky or vanilla, isn't that why so many of us enjoy getting stoned before sex, to heighten sensation and feel comfortable in our own skin? "Pot helps things slow down so people can be more at ease and present," Fous says. It's important to consider consent and your tolerance, because while getting high is believed to affect judgement less severely than alcohol, getting too stoned can affect your ability to give consent. Mistress Matisse says that's why consent is crucial for any type of sexual play, even if embodying an adult baby or engaging in a diaper fetish sounds fairly harmless. "There are few ways that adult baby play can go wrong in the physical sense. Some people poop in them, and some people don't, but you can't be hurt by doing that. So it's probably fine to indulge in while stoned."

I have been making an effort to unplug from the internet, unwind, and meditate before bedtime for mental health reasons. So, I put on my adult diaper, turned on a Talking Heads playlist because it reminded me of my childhood, and lit up a joint. The diaper was super comfy and way cuter than I expected, and I was able to relax and unwind after a long day. I wasn't turned on, so I think my fetishes fall into other areas, but as my friends taught me, that's OK. Getting stoned and putting on a diaper is all about doing you. "Just take it slow and do what you're comfortable to when you're ready," says Matt. "No matter where you fall on the AB/DL spectrum just remember it's all about being yourself and having fun."

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