David Daugherty Jul 18, 2016

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's review

If mewithoutYou has garnered an underground following, it is thanks in no small part to the poetic lyrical stylings of frontman Aaron Weiss. His lyrics weave a tapestry of philosophy and emotion that serves to draw the listener in, and perhaps even change lives. Paul Harrison - suicidal, heart-broken, and full of doubt in a true “dark night of the soul” moment - was one of those erstwhile lives touched by Weiss’ writing, and this first moment of connection through the medium of music becomes the impetus that propels an emotionally impactful narrative of meandering lives seemingly destined (by God, fate, or blind idiotic universal coincidence) to intertwine.



But that’s about a quarter of the way through Paul’s hefty 500-plus page tome, which actually begins like a history lesson in a slice of time all too familiar to many of mewithoutYou’s fans: the rise of Christian rock and roll, and the subsequent commercialization of a belief system. Like a true historian, Harrison presents the reader with a mosaic of interview snippets, magazine articles, and quotes from the individuals involved to take us from the hippies for Jesus movements of the 1960s through the Christian punk-rocker scene and the rise of such monumental forces like Tooth and Nail Records and the Cornerstone Festival. But even after getting a crash course in a now almost forgotten era of recent genre conventions, we are only just getting started.



Into this odd world where headbanging and shredding guitar solos leading to salvific altar calls are the norm enter our two protagonists, Paul and Aaron. One is a man determined to follow Divine prophecy to the love of his life, no matter the cost. The other is just tasting success with a strange new band called mewithoutYou.



The narrative continues from there, alternating between band history of mewithoutYou, told from the perspective of the artists themselves (specifically Aaron) through the use of patchwork interview excerpts. Harrison truly proves himself to be the arbiter of mewithoutYou’s legacy, whether he intends to hold that title or not. Long forgotten interviews and journal entries from all eras of the band’s now fourteen odd year history are pieced together like an intricate jigsaw puzzle that paints a seamless narrative of a group of friends in over their heads (and sometimes at odds with each other) navigating the tumultuous world of “Christian rock” while their enigmatic lead singer swings back and forth in public opinion from punk rock spiritual guru, to garbage eating autistic savant.



But the heart of the narrative is not to be found in this framing device, but in the life of Paul Harrison that is the memoir’s primary focus. Paul tells his story in an open, honest, frustrated, and self-deprecatory manner that give’s one the sensation you’ve met an old friend to catch up over coffee and cigarettes at an all-night diner after a decade apart. And of course the first thing he would say in this instance is, “Man, I have been through some SHIT.” Paul’s country-spanning story of grief, doubt, and life-threatening existential crisis is an emotional souler-coaster of the highest order. Even the most die-hard mewithoutYou aficionado might find himself, as I often did, rushing through chapters detailing the lyrical themes on an album to see what lies just around the river bend for Paul, be it crushing heartbreak, suicidal despair, or a reunification with the loves for which he longs, be they God or girl.



As the book progresses, a portrait soon emerges of a friendship between two men that seem to be truly closer than brothers. Tracking a decade of traded emails, spontaneous reunions, saving graces, and philosophical debate between Aaron and Paul, All the Clever Words on Pages is at once a spiritual memoir, a band biography, a philosophical examination of our relationship to music, and a story about the absolutely literal life-saving power of one who would, to quote the bible, “lay down his life for a friend”.



For the fan or Christian rock from the early 2000s there is plenty to love here. Sprinkled throughout are cameos by would-be celebrities in this underground scene that would soon, and unbeknownst to the author at the time, become quasi-legends; whether it is attending a dive-bar concert of a no-name metal band called Underoath or going into a dubious business agreement with an unknown slam-poet named Bradley Hathaway. Easter eggs for the studious mewithoutYou superfan can be found just as readily, with chapters entitled “Alone to the Alone” or “All Our Dad’s Die”, or even “Dumpster Diving (Pt. 2)”. If such a fan endeavors to know what it would be like to dig through slime in a Trader Joe’s dumpster with Aaron Weiss, or be there with him just after he has found out his father has passed, or even just to sit exhausted in some dusty corner of a venue in Chicago, silent and melancholy with a decade of friendship behind you both, then it can be found here in spades. If the analytical fan among you is looking for insight into Aaron’s powerful lyrics, this is the place to come as well. You might find out why the line, “Nearby to where my dad sat in his favorite chair, thinking about the gov't and muttering a prayer” gives this reviewer a somber chill now.



In conclusion, buy this book. Let Paul tell you his story. Let him introduce you to his friend Aaron, who you probably only think you know from listening to him sing. You will not go away without a stripe on your heart for all of the doubts, and loves, and true friendships (and the doubters, lovers, and friends that propel them on) that unify us all as human beings in this impermanent period of time called our lives.



Also, you will get to read about your favorite introspective and soft-spoken spiritual guru rock star utter profound statements like, ‘Oh yeah? When was the last time you were caught jerking off to a picture of a sunset?” Truly profound.

