China—a nation that has slowly risen to become the world’s top economy primarily through the economical eradication of things it doesn’t like in movies and TV—has issued a ban on shows and movies starring actors who have been charged for drug use, prostitution, or gambling. The edict was handed down by the State Administration for Radio Film and Television (which China created entirely to make economical use of an otherwise useless college degree) after a series of arrests involving several Chinese celebrities.


Most notably: The arrest of Jackie Chan’s son, Jaycee Chan, who was arrested alongside fellow actor Kai Ko for possession of 100 grams of marijuana, prompting tearful confessions, a possible sentence of up to three years in prison, and, most embarrassing of all, a public apology from Jackie Chan. And now it’s created a situation in which hundreds of innocent people could find themselves out of work—just like what will happen if you ever smoke marijuana.

“Their actions not only broke the law, but also destroyed morality in the society,” reads the SARFT’s directive, echoing the words of any disappointed parent. “As public figures, they damaged the image of the whole industry and caused very negative social impact, especially to the young children.” That impact will now be counteracted by only employing performers who have never indulged their vices, ensuring that a sense of virtuousness is returned to the entertainment industry. It will also ensure that all Chinese entertainment will be lifeless and dull, so as to lull young children into a lasting stupor that will ready them for factory work.


It’s unclear whether this ban will extend to the screening of Hollywood movies, or whether China still likes taking American money.