Recap: We entered the Elite Four and took down the first two members.

Morgan: Saga. Welcome. I’ve prepared my team to defeat yours based off what I know of your battle style. Remember that battle we did together in Ladoga Town? Against Team Asgard? Regardless of whether you remember or not, I do. And now, we fight each other as rivals. Saga! I am Morgan! The Water-type user of the Elite Four! Don’t expect a pushover from me!

She was a total pushover.

Barret and Yukio one-shotted just about all of her Pokemon. This was the easiest fight I’ve had in a long time in this game. I didn’t feel you needed to see it because it would have bored you. It was move-spamming, really.

You’re damn right it was.

As usual, we heal up before the next battle, making sure everyone is alive and well. I didn’t have to do much between Morgan’s fight and the next one. Just throw a Full Restore on Yukio and Barret to make up for their small disappearance of HP.

Wilson: Saga… welcome. Not to sound cliche, but I’ve been expecting you. I am Wilson. I lead the Elite Four. I use scientific experimentation and dragonic Pokemon to win battles!

HOW is this not against the rules of being an Elite Four member?

For that matter, how is experimenting on Pokemon like that not against the rules of being a Pokemon trainer in general?

Wilson: Saga! If you beat me I will tell you a secret that has never been told to you before! Bring it on!

I’m calling it now. The secret is “hur-de-dur, there actually IS a champion you have to fight”.

Barret rocked Morgan’s world, but couldn’t do the same for Wilson’s. Flygon took him out almost immediately. I really should have known this was going to happen. Flygon is, what, Dragon and Rock/Ground or something? Barret didn’t stand a chance against him. Sorry, buddy.

I decide to fight fire-with-fire and send out Genevieve. Right out of the gate, I ask her to use Dig. What was my logic for using that attack against a Flygon? I don’t know. I’m shaking my head just looking at this screenshot. Assuming Flygon was part Rock/Ground type, why did I want to start with a Ground-type move? Plus, he’s hovering over the floor. He has a shadow, for crap’s sake. Of course Dig was going to miss.

Flygon goes down to a Dragon-type move and…

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING?

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO DUNSPARCE?

This little shit has a move called Devour and it makes me want to throw things. He uses it practically every turn to heal himself, making injuring him insanely difficult. Eventually, Genevieve fainted to it. I had no clue who to send out next, so I just made a guess as to who might survive against him. I chose Yukio.

Do you see this shit?? It’s every freaking turn with this guy. Devour this, Devour that… I can’t get a leg up on him.

Thinking I made the wrong Pokemon choice, I withdraw Yukio and try Foxxy instead. I figured since he had the Leftovers on him, he might be able to withstand constant Devours.

One Ice Beam sent Megasparce back into his PokeBall. Evidently, it was super effective AND a critical hit. Whew. With this blood sucker out of the way, maybe the worst part is over.

Salamance landed one hit on Foxxy, who retaliated with a super effective Ice Beam, fainting him instantly. Thank goodness Foxxy is finally useful.

Since the Vesryn Elite Four rules state you must use the “set” setting, I had to switch out Foxxy myself after Salamance fainted. Shawn chose to fight Altaria and did a decent job of flinching him almost every turn…

He loses to Altaria right when he hits the red. Everyone’s favorite Psychic kitty comes out next.

While Zephyr is fighting, I revive Genevieve to prepare for whatever Pokemon Wilson throws at me next. Once Altaria is out, Haxorus shows up.

Can someone please explain to me what the hell “breaks the mold” means? I see it all of the time and I have no clue what its purpose is. I don’t even have a guess as to what it might mean.

Haxorus knows Outrage and this makes me hate the world.

Zephyr and Genevieve get taken out, so poor Foxxy has to be the stand-in while I revive my shiny Garchomp. Thankfully, Haxorus confused himself after using Outrage, so Foxxy managed to survive.

What’s funny is hitting himself from confusion is what fainted Haxorus.

Soooo…

Wilson says this weird little diddy and now I’m wondering if the “big secret” is that he is actually Saga’s father. Why else would he feel the need to mention this is the proudest he has ever been of her, when I don’t even think she knew who he was at the beginning of the game?

Plus, didn’t Wilson get all emotional in the beginning when Aria was mentioned?

One Ice Beam actually froze Dragonite, making it easy to defeat her.

Nicely done, Foxxy! I didn’t even need to switch you out for Genevieve, you held your own!

Wilson: saw you last. Congratulations. Two great rewards will now be given to you. First, the title of Champion, as there is no previous one for you to defeat.

Oh… seriously? I was positive that was all a big hoax…

Wilson: Second… a secret. I promised not to tell you until you were an independent trainer. Saga…

???: He’s your father, Saga.

Ah. I see. Maybe I should have connected the dots a little sooner.

Aria: long time ago. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, but I kept stalling… and stalling… And now you’re all grown up. And he’s engaged to Miranda–

He’s engaged to her? Oh. Well, I liked her up until she decided to allow Jake to piggy-back me all the way to a badge. She and I are gonna have to have a little talk.

Aria: –so it seems he’s moved on.

Aww. That made me kind of sad.

Wilson: Why have you come, Aria? To rub it in my face?

Aria: No. I have come to reclaim my title as Champion.

Well too-fucking-bad! You already retired, I just won the Elite Four!

Wait…

Wait…

Saga is going to have to fight Aria for the title. Aria is the Champion… nice twist!! I didn’t see that coming!

Aria: Saga, I want to truly test how far you’ve come. Follow me.

Aria leaves into the next room while Wilson begs for his daughter’s forgiveness. I consider telling him “no”, but that would be mean, and Saga is a nice guy. Might as well forgive him.

Wilson: Thank you, Saga. It really does mean a lot to hear you say that. I know I may never be as close to you as your mother was, but I hope we can try to be family, even if we will always be separated. Now go, Saga! Defeat the Champion! Show off that father-daughter bond!

Okay, so, Wilson is Saga’s father, and her mother, who claimed to be retired, is the Champion she must defeat in order to complete the Elite Four.

I truly feel like I should have figured these things out. I was happily surprised that I didn’t, however.

We heal up and use those Max Ethers I realized I had before walking into the final room.

Aria: Saga… I’ve been waiting so long for this moment. Over your years, you’ve grown so much. You’ve defeated evil warlords, conquered the Gyms, and are now facing the Champion. Saga, I hope you’re ready to battle, because I will always be!

I’m kind of scared. Everyone in the game claims Aria is a beast.

Aria’s battle music is SICK. Whatever it is, it is now my new favorite Champion theme.

That first picture of Barret is just to show off the sticker I put on his PokeBall. Whenever I send him out, lightning surrounds him.

Without knowing what Pokemon Aria had, I had put Barret up first in my party. That was a mistake, because he couldn’t touch Golurk with his Electric-type moves, and Golurk knows Earthquake. Before my Luxray faints, I swap him out for Shawn, who I hope will be able to handle this guy.

But Mindy, why would you send Shawn out when you know Golurk knows Earthquake??

I KNOW, I KNOW, THAT WAS A STUPID MOVE.

Teaching Grass Knot to Yukio was the best decision I’ve made this entire game, and I only did it because as a Togepi, I hated his moveset. That attack has won me a lot of battles.

I am assuming that since Aria has Suicune, she also has the other two cats?

I hate Lucario.

I hate Lucario.

I hate Lucario.

Yeah, we got him, he’s in the red! Woo-hoo! No more dealing with Lucario–

FULL RESTORE GAHHFLAAAGAAAA

Lucario faints Yukio. I send out Foxxy, Lucario laughs and knocks him down before he even has a chance to stand up straight. Barret is my last Pokemon. I leave him out and start playing the Revive Game, reviving and using Full Restore on anyone I can while another Pokemon is in the battle.

I don’t want to lose to Aria.

I’ll be damned.

Fire Punch is super effective against Lucario.

There’s the other two!

You know, it’s a little selfish for Aria to keep all 3 legendary cats to herself. She could have given Saga one of them. You know, to be nice.

I used a Full Restore on Shawn, if you’re wondering how his HP restored so quick.

Entei did wind up defeating Shawn, so Genevieve had the pleasure of dueling out the final blow: Dig.

Oh my god, you guys, you don’t even understand how hard I laughed when this scary mutherfucking Ditto came out and then two Digs took him down. I actually choked, I laughed so hard.

Aria: I, who spent my life training and catching the world’s rarest Pokemon… Saga, I’m impressed! You even defeated me, the Champion of the Quasar League! I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. You did defeat Odin, something that I could never do. You have surpassed me, Saga. Saga, I know you may not believe me, but this loss was the greatest moment of my life. And now, let us go forth. Let us record your name amongst the names of legends!

Aria: your Pokemon so that you may live forever, though our bodies may not! As the new Champion of the Quasar League, you deserve it!

HALL OF FAME TIME!

Look at them! Are they not the most beautiful team you’ve ever seen?!

We did it, guys! We actually did it! Congratulations, you are the top six Pokemon in all of Vesryn!

Now, usually I stop playing Pokemon games after defeating the Elite Four… but this particular game has some EPIC post-game from what I’ve heard, including a whole nother region to explore…

So it looks like Saga and her team aren’t done quite yet, there are still adventures to be had! Off we go, guys, let’s go save the world some more!