Trevor Noah delved into several of Donald Trump’s ongoing grudges on Wednesday’s Daily Show, during a week in which the “commander-in-beef” escalated multiple public disputes.

First, the president held a White House meeting this week with Twitter CEO and “tech bro Tyrion Lannister” Jack Dorsey, after Trump publicly criticized the company for removing many of his followers. (Twitter routinely deletes bots and fake accounts.)

“That’s right, my friends, the president of the United States is upset because he feels that he should have more Twitter followers,” Noah explained. “This is absolutely ridiculous. Like, what’s next? Is he going to complain to Instagram that his thirst traps aren’t blowing up?”

And while he felt sorry for anyone in the meeting who had to take Trump’s grievances against Twitter seriously, Noah was particularly sympathetic to Dorsey. “Poor Jack Dorsey – he has to explain to a president that some of his followers were deleted because they were bots and spam accounts. It’s like breaking the news to a child that Santa isn’t real,” Noah said as he pulled up a mock spam account with an avatar of Ariana Grande. “Sir, I know you’re 72 now, so I think you’re old enough to know the truth: @mikhail_62875 isn’t a real person.”

In other weekly beef news, Trump also ordered his administration to boycott this weekend’s White House correspondents’ dinner, which has been attended in past years by his adviser Kellyanne Conway and the press secretary, Sarah Sanders (unlike past presidents, Trump has not attended).

“I’ll be honest with you,” Noah commented, “I think this is a good thing. I’ve always thought it was weird that White House reporters spend an evening schmoozing with the people they’re supposed to be holding accountable.” At this point in the strained White House-press relationship, “it would be like if the FBI and the mafia had one day a year where they just go out for a fun brunch”.

Trump’s highest level of beef, however, has been reserved for Congress. In the wake of the Mueller report, congressional Democrats have launched additional investigations into Trump’s administration. In response, “Trump is launching his middle finger”, Noah said, noting the president’s refusal to let administration officials testify before Congress – even if, for example, someone was already scheduled to explain the process for granting security clearances to people such as Jared Kushner.

“The only person he’ll let testify is Rudy Giuliani, and that’s because he never makes sense anyway – after five minutes in the hearing, Congress will be like: ‘We have to evacuate the building, there must be a gas leak in here or something,’” Noah joked over an especially bug-eyed photo of the president’s lawyer.

This drawing of battle lines, Noah explained, has heated tensions with Democrats to a point of serious impeachment talk, which brought Noah to his final beef of the evening: Trump v the constitution.

Trump recently tweeted that he will go to the supreme court if he’s impeached. “Just to be clear, that’s not a thing,” Noah said of that logic. “The supreme court can’t overrule an impeachment – the two have nothing to do with one another. This would be like if a cop gives you a ticket and you’re like: ‘I’m fighting this, buddy – you’ll be hearing from my orthodontist!’”