As "The Daily Show" returned from Thanksgiving break last night, Jon Stewart got started right away on the latest WikiLeaks dump that leaked 250,000 secret cables of candid conversations between high-level ambassadors.

First, Stewart noted the cattiness of some of the leaked conversations, wherein French President Nicolas Sarkozy is deemed "thin skinned," Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is said to have a "voluptuous Ukrainian nurse" always at his side, and Kim Jong Il is called a "flabby old chap."

"Who put Perez Hilton in charge of our diplomatic corps?" Stewart wondered.

But soon Stewart got to the real shockers of the unprecedented leak: hypocrisies in the Middle East regarding Saudi Arabia, Iran and Egypt. One piece of information showed that Saudi Arabia urged the U.S. to attack Iran, but another document suggested that Saudis are chief financiers of militant groups like al-Qaida.

"So one of our main allies in the War On Terror is also one of the biggest funders of our War On Terror's enemy?" Stewart asked in disbelief. He even joked that Egypt would be a better ally in light of President Hosni Mubarak saying Iran's sponsorship of terrorism is "well-known but I cannot say it publicly," as revealed by a WikiLeaks document.

Stewart continued to be skeptical of Saudi Arabia's loyalty to the U.S., concluding that the relationship is actually a bizarre form of self-sabotage on our part:

"So if we give them money for oil, that allows them to buy weapons from us with a little left over to fund terrorist groups that we must then send our military over to fight, which costs a lot of money and fuel (which we buy from them). It's like we're the commission-less middlemen in a war we're waging on ourselves."

Stewart then turned his attention to the conflict between North and South Korea, preferring to leave the complications of the Middle East behind and focus on "promisingly traditional hostility."

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