Here is my new novel, in its entirety, a cynical attempt to cash in on the teen fiction phenomenon with its obligatory grrl power heroes, heroine being a dead word.

Qristol Vulva Manslayer hastily pondered the fork in the road, sweat causing the blue dye in her hair to leech onto her cool winged collar ($59.95, Sista Knitters, Etsy) which nicely framed her serious but cute face, knowing she had only moments to choose the right path to freedom before evil agents of Paytree Arc Corporation would be upon her to steal the long-awaited Proclamation Of Tolerance—which, when read to the People, would cause Paytree Arc to abandon its foul mission to forcibly enslave and impregnate the nation’s women—when she simultaneously spotted the longbow and a Paytree Arc Agent—six-foot-two at least, smokey eyes, bursting with muscles, an effortless stride and untamed beard, rugged, hard features, and a drawn sword—coming at her, a situation that ordinarily would not have defeated her, except she couldn’t pull back the bow (110 lb draw strength), a situation that led her to say, as her head separated from her shoulders, “What a man!”

The End

I’m thinking of entering this in the 2019 Bulwer Lytton contest. What are your entries?

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