Michael Cohen’s Venmo History

“You paid Stormy $130,000”

It was a tough week for Trump “lawyer” Michael Cohen, who now stands accused of selling access to the president using the same shell company that paid off Stormy Daniels.

But just when he thought things couldn’t get worse, I got my hands on Michael Cohen’s Venmo history — and you better believe Robert Mueller will flip when he sees this! (Well, after he has an intern explain Venmo to him.)

AT&T paid you $600,000

Completely legitimate consulting services lol 😜

The Trump Organization paid you $45,000

“Chipotle” 😉

Novartis paid you $1,200,000

Wait, you aren’t going to tell anyone about this are you? 😰

The Trump Organization paid you $45,000

More “Chipotle” 😜

You paid Stormy Daniels $130,000

🤫

You paid Sarah Huckabee Sanders $20

🔥🔥👖🔥🔥

The Trump Organization paid you $45,000

Even more “Chipotle” lol 🌯💰😂

Don Jr. paid you $12

Actually Chipotle 🤮

Eric paid you $3.50

Extra Guac 🥑

The Trump Organization paid you $45,000

“Extra Guac” 🥑🥑🥑😉

You paid Vlad 50,000,000 rubles

📼💸👯‍♀️💦💦☔️🎃