Cobra Trooper / Los Angeles Division

We are looking for enthusiastic, career-minded, motivated individuals to become incompetent minions of evil, to work in a harsh, brutal and dysfunctional military environment. As a Cobra Trooper representing Cobra Command, you’ll have the opportunity to slave away building useless contraptions for world domination and enjoy a un-flexible work schedule, while being backed with a unsupportive staff of an organization bent on havoc, destruction and evil.

Job Description

The original "blueshirt" common grunts introduced in 1982, basic infantry soldiers equipped with conventional military gear (as opposed to the more hi-tech accouterments of the later Vipers), with Cobra Officers as the field leaders.

No Experience Needed!

Qualifications

*Proficient in Microsoft Word and Office Programs.

*Must be willing to do the Cobra Commander's bidding and deal with his excessive screaming.

*Dedication to evil and world domination.

*Utterly Incompetent

*Must know Cobra theme song.

*Hatred for G.I. Joe.

*Have a fearful cry.

*Must available to work nights weekends and whenever evil strikes.

*Ability to spread panic far and wide Preferred

Benefits

*Free standard Cobra uniform

*Jetpack

*401K

*Cobra Healthcare (kinda like Obama Care but more evil)

*Laser Guns

*Access to Cobra Island

*Stock Options

About Us.

Cobra is the fictional nemesis of G.I. Joe a group of "do gooders" who suck and keep foiling our plans for destruction and world domination. We build useless devices and follow half-baked convoluted machiavellian schemes by our leader Cobra Commander who may or may not have a face.

Salary: $50,000.00 /year