Attempts to cook pancakes on Owen's car proved unsuccessful (@themichaelowen) More

This weekend has had so many well-publicized retirements and goodbyes (Ferguson! Scholes! Van Bommel! Moyes! Mancini's Premiership career!) that Michael Owen's final home game of his career almost slipped under the radar. Particularly as the former England star spent that match — a 2-1 loss to Tottenham — as an unused substitute for the fourteenth time this season.

Before the 33-year-old striker moves on to bore the living daylights out of BT Sport subscribers, his Stoke teammates let him know they remembered he was a club employee by vandalzing his Mercedes AMG C63, giving him the ideal opportunity to employ the sorely underused #eggs&flour hashtag...

This is what I will miss once I hang up my boots! Looks like I may be delayed getting to the match. #eggs&flour twitter.com/themichaelowen… — michael owen (@themichaelowen) May 12, 2013

Owen donned his detective hat — being careful not to pick up an injury in the process — and produced a list of suspects he had rounded down to Dean Whitehead, Glenn Whelan and Robert Huth. He then added Jonathan Walters, Peter Crouch and Matthew Ethrington to the list. So, basically just anyone who might have access to flour and eggs.

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