First things first, we’ll have our 2017 Musikfest Photo Scavenger Hunt released early next week. We have the best prizes ever including a GoPro Hero, restaurant gift cards, a trip in a Tesla, and more!

Now, if you’ve ever been to Musikfest, you should be able to recognize these people pretty easily. If you’ve never been, then be on the lookout for these ten types of people, because they are basically all of the people you’ll see when you’re down there.

1. The Parents with a Double Wide Baby Stroller

Husband: “Hey, honey, we’re going to the most crowded festival in the Lehigh Valley, what do you think we should push the kids around in?”



Wife: “OH, I was thinking the widest possible stroller so that it takes up an entire sidewalk and pretty much can’t fit anywhere comfortably.”

Husband: “Can we still complain and yell at people that we have kids so they feel bad?”



Wife: “Um, that’s the whole point. I’ve been saving up this passive aggressiveness the entire summer. Time to unload on other people in a public place.”



Husband: “Yes!”



2. Teenagers Screaming When They See Each Other

When you meet your mother 25 years after she put you up for adoption against her own will then a scream and big cry is warranted.

When you haven’t seen your friend since the end of June and it’s the first week of August, you can lay off the air raid siren screeches.

3. People Complaining About the Beer Sizes / Pours / Price

Listen, buddy. I know how much a beer there costs. I totally get that the mug doesn’t hold as much as it looks like it should. No, I’m not drilling holes into it. Yes, it’s more than I’d pay if I was sitting at the bar. I’m in parking lot at 2 p.m. on a Tuesday surrounded by fun people, food, and music. I’ll chalk it up to convenience tax.

4. Coworkers

Even if you work at Google, what with their air hockey tables and fancy lunches, I’m still guessing you’re not always down to hang out with your coworkers off the clock. In fact, any business that makes this a suggested part of your personal life is woefully inept. You hang with the people you want to.

So, when you see that coworker out of the corner of your eye and you look for a way to deftly hide behind a couple of ears of corn, don’t worry, you’re not alone.

5. People Who Are Amazed at the Ticket System and Don’t Get it

I hate gatekeeping. I don’t think that people should be shamed for not knowing how something works that they’ve never done before. So, I’m not making fun of the fact that they don’t get that you have to buy tickets in order to then purchase food and beverages, but holy hell there are a lot of them.

6. People Surprised Their Car is Getting Towed or Ticketed

Parking during Musikfest is awful. Every local media outlet is going to regurgitate some “Tips and Tricks” blog right about this time, so you can look to them to get an awful idea on where to park that won’t work because EVERYWHERE sucks. Give yourself an extra 30 minutes more than you think you need OR resign yourself to parking blocks and block away OR Uber in OR zip line or something.

But, when you park somewhere illegally because there is a useless spoiler on your car, don’t be surprised when you get towed or end up with a double penalty fine for screwing up your parking during a festival. It happens.

7. People Complaining About The Paid Concerts / That the Festival Costs Too Much

You can literally go to Musikfest and watch hours and hours of music from bands from all around the country for free.

If you want to buy food there, it’s going to cost more than if you went to the grocery store and bought it and made it yourself because that’s how the world works.

Nowhere on your birth certificate is it written that you are allowed to attend huge music festivals and not spend more than what it would cost to let your kid play in the ball pit at McDonald’s.

8. People Who Came Just to Get Drunk

(Not these people maybe!)

Hey, let’s not rush to judgement here. As far as the Lehigh Valley goes, this is as close as we get to an area-wide block party as we’re going to get. And there’s nothing wrong about coming to get drunk. Most of us have. There is something wrong when you come to get drunk and then ruin other people’s experiences. So, don’t do that and everyone is happy.

9. People Who Have Literally No Idea How to Walk In Crowds

If you need to regroup with your family to look at your Musikfest app to decide where you’re going to go next, how about doing it outside of the main flow of people? We get it. You’re important. But, when you cause a clusterfuck the size of Route 22 and I-78′s illegitimate child, you’re not being a good citizen.

10. People Having a Great Time

We love to love Musikfest. It’s one of the things that makes the Lehigh Valley a great place to live and work. You should do the same. Let go of some of your worry for awhile. Literally think to yourself, “You know what? I’m going to stop complaining about stupid stuff for seven hours.”

#ThanksMusikfest.

Bonus: Person who got an apartment a block away from Musikfest knowing full well that it’s a block away from Musikfest who then complains about Musikfest on Facebook.

Bonus Bonus: People who publicly say how much they hate Musikfest and then wind up down having a grand time.