Does there remain a single potential act of idiocy that, by this point, would surprise any of us were it committed by Donald Trump? Trump’s latest attempts to smear the London mayor, Sadiq Khan – while the latter leads our city through the aftermath of a painful terrorist attack – are simultaneously beyond the pale and tediously par for the course.

As ever, Trump cakes his bigotry in the camp maquillage of false concern for the city and its inhabitants, when it’s clear that this man is incapable of human empathy, and has, furthermore, seemingly chosen to attack Khan so vehemently because he is a Muslim.

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That London had the clear-sightedness to elect this clever, humble, compassionate man as our leader, despite craven Tory attempts to link him with Islamist terrorism, is surely a source of frustration for Trump, whose sheer lack of likability means that he has always been forced to rely on divisive scaremongering as a campaign tactic. That Khan then had the temerity to call Donald’s Muslim ban “ignorant” must be almost too much for the pugnacious president’s dark but brittle ego. Remember, this is the man who allegedly withdrew from the Paris climate agreement because he felt undermined by another man’s handshake.

I agree with Khan that Theresa May should withdraw her invitation to the president for a state visit. The time after a tragedy is for reflection, empathy, and shows of camaraderie and defiance. It is not a time for a megalomaniac manbaby to insult our democratically elected politicians on social media. But May, who is failing to take heed of a lesson illustrated by Zac Goldsmith’s loss in the mayoral election, has displayed a shocking lack of solidarity with Khan by refusing to criticise the president’s actions, despite repeated questioning. Like Goldsmith, whose calculated wet-blanketry actually lost him the mayoral race, May is beginning to look weak-willed.

Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) Pathetic excuse by London Mayor Sadiq Khan who had to think fast on his "no reason to be alarmed" statement. MSM is working hard to sell it!

While Khan talks calmly about the enormous budget cuts faced by the police since 2010, more of which are to come if a Tory government is elected on Thursday, May insults our intelligence by insisting there is no link between damaging cuts to the services that are there to protect us and our response to terrorist threats. Jeremy Corbyn is insisting that the role of Saudi Arabia in terrorist funding be examined. Meanwhile, the man whose tiny hand May held in hers (something even his wife won’t do) as she helped him down a ramp – one of the several things Trump is reputedly terrified of – has been curtsying to the Saudi king. It would be laughable were it not so sickening.

Much is made of British values, and during this horrific and heartbreaking period in the country’s history what has shone through is our resilience, our humour, and our inclusivity. Both Sadiq Khan and Andy Burnham, the Manchester mayor, have shown exceptional compassion and leadership in the aftermath of the callous attacks on innocent people. They deserve praise and solidarity across the political spectrum. If the Tories refuse to offer this, than at least we can.

John Shafthauer (@hourlyterrier) Both of these men are left-wing British Mayors who had their cities attacked by terror. Trump attacked one but not the other. Guess which. pic.twitter.com/QRKfxwLSLU

So, if the Trump state visit goes ahead, I recommend that we view it as an opportunity to show Trump what we are made of, as my colleague Gaby Hinsliff suggested. We are not cowed, we are not reeling, and we are supremely unimpressed by anyone who seeks to divide us at times of tragedy.

What better way to demonstrate this than through a festival of piss-taking, a jubilee of mockery that follows the president wherever he goes? One of the things that shone through on the women’s march was the hilarity of the signs and slogans. Consider that a benchmark to be beaten – I want Trump followed everywhere he goes with an array of cheeky placards and taunts; a chorus of kazoos, a crowd of raised middle fingers and inflatable chodes, and, of course, costumes. (I shall be dressing as a ramp, but if you are looking for other ideas apparently he also dislikes germs.) I want us to take inspiration from the Scousers who at the weekend laughed the EDL out of Liverpool to the strains of the Benny Hill soundtrack.

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It’s the perfect strategy; there is nothing that Trump hates more than not being taken seriously, and there is nothing more British than not only resolutely refusing to tug our forelocks before any bully who insults us, but resorting to satire, wit and sarcasm as a mark of our lack of respect.

In the few months since he was elected, Trump has failed to show any of the dignity or gravitas that has been so notable in the responses of Khan and Burnham. Our refusal in turn to grant him any when he visits makes a statement when our current prime minister lacks the courage and strength to anything of the kind. As my colleague Marina Hyde wrote brilliantly in the aftermath of the Manchester bombing, there are cultural moments where it seems right to pick a direction. Bending over backwards for Trump should not be ours. But relentless lampooning? I can get on board with that.