On average, a ten minute shower saves 16 gallons of water compared to a standard bath. It’s a fact that not many deny. Showering saves water.

So, why in the hell are you still bathing your infant?? Your son needs to become a man someday. Why are you putting it off? Toss that mf in your standing shower, hand him a bar of soap and a face cloth, turn the water on, and let him figure it out for himself.

I know it sounds cruel, but this is the earth we’re talking about saving. Your home? Hello? Seems like a no brainier to me. I know you’re gonna be temped to go help him when you hear him crying from behind the curtain, but you can’t. He’ll never be a man if he doesn’t learn. Get in the habit now or fast forward and you’ll still be bathing your 23 year old son.

I mean, come on. Even Sarah across the street has her infant shower trained. Do you want to hear Sarah’s snide comments when you admit you’re still running baths? Listen Janet, I know this is hard to hear but, your son’s a bitch. And, it’s your fault. He’s gonna hate you when he grows up and learns he turned out to be such a little bitch because you were still bathing him at two months. It’s ridiculous.

I’m sorry I had to be so rough but I didn’t know how else to tell you. By the way, Karen’s daughter is already chewing steak with her gums at three months so basically, you’re already behind but, you got this, Janet.