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Edmondson knew she had a decision to make: “slip away quietly or blow this whole thing up.”

She chose to blow it up.

“I was determined to fix what I’d started,” said Edmondson of the dramatic actions she took in 2018 to escape NXIVM, and go to the authorities.

As sheets of rain pour down outside the window of her Olympic Village condo, Edmondson offers up her body as a testament to what she has been through. “Do you want to see it?”

She slips down the corner of her pants to reveal the scars where Raniere’s initials were burned into her skin. The initials KR are clearly visible.

Although the scars have faded, they will never go away.

“I thought I was healed, but I’ve got PTSD,” said Edmondson as her husband Anthony Ames brings over their six-month-old baby Ace.

Photo by Jason Payne / PNG

Settling in to nurse her baby, Edmondson says she is willing to share all, and do whatever it takes “to clean up my mess.”

Cleaning up the mess includes going public, making sure everyone she brought into the group is out, trying to help others and establishing a fund for other victims with part of the proceeds of her book.

“I’m learning to trust myself again, slowly,” said Edmondson, who has been through therapy with cult therapists to understand the journey she has been on.

Edmondson said she was the ideal target for NXIVM’s system of indoctrination.

“The system included manipulation and brainwashing, where Keith implanted his own beliefs by appealing to my values, and telling me that when I felt resistance I had an issue I needed to overcome. If I had an issue, his Executive Success program would provide the answer.”