The first and most important point to begin with about Christopher Chope is that the boilerplate defence of Christopher Chope, as used by Christopher Chope on the regular occasion Christopher Chope embarrasses himself in public, is that it is fundamentally untrue.

Today, he rose in the House of Commons to object to an anti-female genital mutilation bill, just as he rose last year to throw out a proposed ban on upskirting.

Then, as now, he claims his objection is to the “parliamentary procedure” and the “lack of proper scrutiny”, not the legislation itself.

It is unfortunate in the extreme that this argument does about as well under the scrutiny of which Mr Chope is so fond, as Winona Ryder’s shoplifting spree that she once attributed to “researching a role”.

First of all, there’s the fact that this bill had already been through several stages of legislative scrutiny. Then there’s the fact that had he allowed it to pass, it would have been through several more, of far more detail, before perhaps becoming law.

Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Show all 30 1 /30 Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Berlin People hold up posters reading among others "We have the right to be heard" as they take part in a Women's March on January 19, 2019 in Berlin. - The Women's March movement that has started in the US and has become global supports women's rights, fights for an end to the gender pay gap and aims to bring awareness to violence against women and demand action to end it. (Photo by Odd ANDERSEN / AFP)ODD ANDERSEN/AFP/Getty Images ODD ANDERSEN AFP/Getty Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures London Women's march for “bread and roses” – rally against austerity in London Angela Christofilou Angela Christofilou/The Independent Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures New York A girl takes part in a march organized by the Women's March Alliance in the Manhattan borough of New York City, U.S., January 19, 2019. REUTERS/Caitlin Ochs CAITLIN OCHS Reuters Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Washington Thousands of people participate in the Third Annual Women's March at Freedom Plaza in Washington, U.S., January 19, 2019. REUTERS/Joshua Roberts JOSHUA ROBERTS Reuters Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures New York Demonstrators emphasizing gun violence take part in a march organized by the Women's March Alliance in the Manhattan borough of New York City, U.S., January 19, 2019. REUTERS/Caitlin Ochs CAITLIN OCHS Reuters Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures London epa07300308 Protesters with a placard 'End Period Poverty' take part in 2019 Women's March in Central London, Britain, 19 January 2019. Thousands of protesters called for greater protection and rights for women and end of austerity in Britain. EPA/WILL OLIVER WILL OLIVER EPA Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Washington Thousands of people participate in the Third Annual Women's March at Freedom Plaza in Washington, U.S., January 19, 2019. REUTERS/Joshua Roberts JOSHUA ROBERTS REUTERS Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures New York Demonstrators take part in a march organized by the Women's March Alliance in the Manhattan borough of New York City, U.S., January 19, 2019. REUTERS/Caitlin Ochs CAITLIN OCHS Reuters Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Berlin A woman holds up a poster as she takes part in a Women's March in front of the Brandenburg Gate on January 19, 2019 in Berlin. - The Women's March movement that has started in the US and has become global supports women's rights, fights for an end to the gender pay gap and aims to bring awareness to violence against women and demand action to end it. (Photo by Odd ANDERSEN / AFP)ODD ANDERSEN/AFP/Getty Images ODD ANDERSEN AFP/Getty Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Washington Baby Trump balloons float over thousands of people as they participate in the Third Annual Women's March at Freedom Plaza in Washington, U.S., January 19, 2019. REUTERS/Joshua Roberts JOSHUA ROBERTS Reuters Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures London Women's march for “bread and roses” – rally against austerity in London Angela Christofilou Angela Christofilou/The Independent Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures New York Protesters hold signs during the Women's Unity Rally at Foley Square on January 19, 2019 in New York City. (Photo by Angela Weiss / AFP)ANGELA WEISS/AFP/Getty Images ANGELA WEISS AFP/Getty Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures London Women's march for “bread and roses” – rally against austerity in London Angela Christofilou Angela Christofilou/The Independent Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures London Women's march for “bread and roses” – rally against austerity in London Angela Christofilou Angela Christofilou/The Independent Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Washington Thousands of people participate in the Third Annual Women's March at Freedom Plaza in Washington, U.S. January 19, 2019. REUTERS/Erin Scott ERIN SCOTT REUTERS Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Washington Resist signs are held aloft as thousands of people participate in the Third Annual Women's March at Freedom Plaza in Washington, U.S., January 19, 2019. REUTERS/Joshua Roberts JOSHUA ROBERTS Reuters Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Berlin BERLIN, GERMANY - JANUARY 19: People attend the Women's March 2019 protest for more women's rights on January 19, 2019 in Berlin, Germany. Organized by Democrats Abroad, the event coincides with Women's Marches taking place today across the USA. (Photo by Carsten Koall/Getty Images) Carsten Koall Getty Images Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures London Protesters take part in the Women's March calling for equality, justice and an end to austerity in London, Britain January 19, 2019. REUTERS/Simon Dawson SIMON DAWSON Reuters Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Berlin BERLIN, GERMANY - JANUARY 19: People attend the Women's March 2019 protest for more women's rights on January 19, 2019 in Berlin, Germany. Organized by Democrats Abroad, the event coincides with Women's Marches taking place today across the USA. (Photo by Carsten Koall/Getty Images) Carsten Koall Getty Images Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures London Women's march for “bread and roses” – rally against austerity in London Angela Christofilou Angela Christofilou/The Independent Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Berlin epa07299365 A woman holds a sign reading 'Rise up and resist' during the 2019 Wome's March in Berlin, Germany, 19 January 2019. The march is to support women's rights, against racism and violence against women. EPA/MARKUS HEINE MARKUS HEINE EPA Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures London Women's march for “bread and roses” – rally against austerity in London Angela Christofilou Angela Christofilou/The Independent Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Berlin epa07299373 A woman holds a sign reading 'I'm not ovary acting' during the 2019 Wome's March in Berlin, Germany, 19 January 2019. The march is to support women's rights, against racism and violence against women. EPA/MARKUS HEINE MARKUS HEINE EPA Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures London Protesters take part in the Women's March calling for equality, justice and an end to austerity in London, Britain January 19, 2019. REUTERS/Simon Dawson SIMON DAWSON Reuters Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures London REFILE - ADDING RESTRICTIONS Protesters hold up signs in the Women's March calling for equality, justice and an end to austerity in London, Britain January 19, 2019. REUTERS/Simon Dawson TEMPLATE OUT SIMON DAWSON Reuters Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Berlin BERLIN, GERMANY - JANUARY 19: People attend the Women's March 2019 protest for more women's rights on January 19, 2019 in Berlin, Germany. Organized by Democrats Abroad, the event coincides with Women's Marches taking place today across the USA. (Photo by Carsten Koall/Getty Images) Carsten Koall Getty Images Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures London Women's march for “bread and roses” – rally against austerity in London Angela Christofilou Angela Christofilou/The Independent Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures Berlin epa07299383 A man holds a sign with the reading 'here for my sisters' during the 2019 Women's March in Berlin, Germany, 19 January 2019. The march is to support women's rights, against racism and violence against women. EPA/MARKUS HEINE MARKUS HEINE EPA Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures London Women's march for “bread and roses” – rally against austerity in London Angela Christofilou Angela Christofilou/The Independent Women's march 2019 – global protest in pictures London Women's march for “bread and roses” – rally against austerity in London Angela Christofilou Angela Christofilou/The Independent

Secondly, there’s the unfortunate fact that in 2009 Mr Chope once used the very same methods, namely a private member’s bill, to bring through legislation that would allow companies to opt out of paying the minimum wage.

Then we move on to 2016, and one bill that the now 71-year-old Mr Chope did mysteriously allow to pass in this fashion. It concerned the safeguarding of a pot of public money to be paid to ex-MPs.

Which begs the question: in favour of female genital mutilation? In favour of, to pick another example, Alan Turing not being pardoned? That would be quite the claim, but if you call him up and ask him, as The Independent has done, what you will find is that he puts the phone down on you. So all you’re left with to go on is the available public evidence of what Mr Chope objects to and what he does not, and his very deliberate choices to put so much of it out there.

It’s also worth mentioning that not so long ago, when the public relations heads of the big tech companies came to give evidence to the Home Affairs Select Committee, Christopher Chope used all of his questions to admonish the lady from Twitter about why a Christopher Chope parody account had not been taken down. And good for him. Why should Christopher Chope have to suffer that kind of indignity for a second longer than necessary? Victims of upskirting and FGM can wait for another day. For the “proper processes”. Unless they happen to be an MP, and a member of the Home Affairs Select Committee of course, then they can abuse them all they like.

You may choose to accept his reasoning that the procedures are broken. If he’s allowed to do it, then why shouldn’t he? It’s the same argument applied with some justification to tax avoidance. Should Jimmy Carr be hated for paying an accountant to minimise his tax bill? Should Amazon? It is up to the authorities to make it impossible for them to do so. It is up to the House of Commons to reform itself, to make this thing impossible, and stop wasting such vast amounts of public time and money.

But there is a subtle difference. Tax avoiders don’t carry the word “honourable” in their titles. Not many of them, anyway. There is no centuries-old custom imploring them to be their best selves, and not just an ambulant embarrassment, stealing a cushy living.

The truth though is a little more boring. The tiny handful of MPs, of which Chope is one, that gather on the rare occasions that the House of Commons sit on Fridays, to throw out legislation they personally object to, have gained a cult status in Westminster.

And they have gained a cult status for it precisely because they have never done anything else.

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Christopher Chope’s contribution to public life does not rise above that of a ringtone. Were somebody allowed to leave a mobile phone on speaker-setting on the backbench of the House of Commons, that was programmed to shout “object” four or five times every few Fridays, there would be no use for Christopher Chope at all.

In 32 years in the House of Commons, Mr Chope’s sole ministerial contribution has been a very brief time as parliamentary-under-secretary of state in the department of transport, a department which, you may know, you only have to be Chris Grayling to run.