(If you’re here to listen to the recordings of the song, scroll down to the bottom!) One of the most frequent questions I get during the holidays is about how to deal with family who are behaving badly. For me the secret is boundaries. I think it’s best to start by deciding what constitutes appropriate behavior. If it’s anything other than “anything goes” then I would consider setting some boundaries with consequences that you can follow through with. So, for example “It is not ok to talk about my weight or eating. If anyone says one more thing about my weight or eating I’m going to leave.” and then, if your they fail to respect your boundaries, it’s time to go. I’ve heard from a number of people who have done this and the common thread seems to be that they only had to do it one time and then their families started respecting their boundaries. Of course your mileage may vary.

To serve as a reminder I’ve re-written the lyrics to “Oh Christmas Tree” to be an ode to boundary setting.

Note 1: In order for this to work, you have to pronounce boundaries as a three syllable word (BOUND-ah-rees) If this is an affront to your sense of poetic license I completely understand, I’ll be back tomorrow with a blog sans song.

Note 2: You’ll notice that there is no podcast of this blog. That’s is because I cannot sing. What I would love is for some of you to record the song (maybe on YouTube?) and send it to me for me to put up here. Please also feel free to add your own verses in the comments…

Without further ado (and with special thanks to the members of More Cabaret for their input between full-speed run-throughs at rehearsal today) here is my fat holiday song:

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

Don’t talk about my weight or food.

Why can’t you see it’s hella rude

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

You know I love my family

But I will leave if you fat-shame me.

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

My body’s fine, I don’t need your rants

You’re not the boss of my underpants

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

Don’t say a word to my fat kid

Or I’ll leave so fast, my tires will skid

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

Yes I do “need” that second plate

It’s not your business what I ate

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

Quit saying someday I’ll get sick

Last time I checked you were not psychic

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

The holidays are great family time

If you don’t shame, food-police or whine

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

Two Readers (so far – hint, hint) have taken up the challenge of recording this piece, enjoy!

Jeanette DePatie (aka The Fat Chick) gave us an amazing opera/jazz rendition:



and Nadja killed it a capella in the middle of the night in her PJs:

We’re over 1,000 signatures and picking up steam, please consider signing the petition to keep kids off The Biggest Loser and reposting it around the web.

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