If I — or any of my friends, or 99.9% of the world’s population — were assaulted by a group of kids on the streets of a city far from home, I’m pretty sure I’d be cursing that city to the high heavens and blaming someone, anyone — cops, the government, the education system, Arby’s — for my misfortune.

But not zenmaster D. Randall Blythe. No… the man who unexpectedly spent 30-some-odd days in a Czech prison on manslaughter charges before being released and then flew back to stand trial blamed only his own “very stupid” self for getting “distracted” and forgetting his “street smarts” when he was assaulted Sunday night in Dublin, Ireland. That, and also that he feels “sad” for the children who did it. RANDY FUCKING BLYTHE, you guys.

Blythe went out to take photographs the night before the band’s show in Dublin on Monday, November 9th, and soon found himself surrounded by a group of kids, one of whom struck him on the head. The group scattered when a nearby cab scared the kids off, and Blythe — body and wits (mostly) intact — lived to tell the tale via his Instagram:

The moral of the story is… I don’t know what the moral is. If shit happens, just roll with it, I guess. Sometime I’d like to invite Randy over to the Vince Division of the MS Mansion to teach me how not to cry when I spill the milk.