Diamond Stone, Varun Ram, Melo Trimble, Ivan Bender, and Jake Layman all walk into a bar. The bartender turns to them and says “Action!” and they immediately begin filming the title sequence for Boogie Nights 2: Boogie Harder.

Why? Because the entire roster of the Maryland Terrapins reads like the cast list for an adult film from 1973.

That’s it. I just really wanted to make sure you all took note that Maryland is 1 Dirk Diggler away from having the porniest sounding group of dudes ever assembled in college basketball. Go Big Red.

(*Author’s note: I’m on record: Huskers win by 7)

FIN