Doyel: Beating the 2017 Colts is a slam dunk

JACKSONVILLE – Nose tackle Al Woods walked off the field for the final time, past Indianapolis Colts coach Chuck Pagano, past his teammates, all the way to the long metallic bench where players rest. This game being all but over, Woods didn’t need to rest. This game being another pathetic loss, the only kind the Colts seem capable of mustering anymore, Woods decided he didn’t need his helmet either. Now he’s winding up like a pitcher …

And there goes the helmet, banging off a storage chest behind the bench, somehow missing Woods as it ricocheted past him and toward the field. Woods saw the helmet heading off in the other direction, and, ah, the hell with it. He sat down heavily and helmet-less and waited for this miserable game to end.

A 2017 season that can’t end soon enough moved one game closer to completion on Sunday with the Colts’ 30-10 loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars. Four games remain, and while eternally optimistic coach Chuck Pagano sees light at the end of the tunnel – “It will turn,” he says – the rest of us understand he is looking at an oncoming train.

The 2017 Colts are going down with a whimper, because they aren’t talented enough to do it any other way. By a wide margin, their best two players are the rookie punter and the 44-year-old kicker. Elsewhere they have a young quarterback who is getting worse by the week, an offensive line that is falling apart, a defensive front seven that cannot get to opposing quarterbacks, and a secondary that longs for the days when Rashaan Melvin and Pierre Desir were healthy.

Shortly after this loss eliminated the 3-9 Colts from AFC South contention and guaranteed just their second losing season in 16 years, owner Jim Irsay walked out of the locker room and slumped into a waiting golf cart. He didn’t want to talk to the media – “Not right now,” he said – but he gave in because that’s what he does. Whoever was driving the golf cart mashed the gas and took off to save Irsay from himself, lest he make another declaration as disastrous as the two he offered this offseason:

1. “The offensive line is fixed.”

2. “(Andrew Luck) will be ready for season!”

So anyway: The golf cart took off, because the last thing the Colts need right now is another Jim Irsay soundbite. But I could hear Irsay mutter two words as he headed off into the distance:

“Obviously disappointed,” Irsay said

Soon Pagano was meeting the media in a cramped room down the hall, and these were the first two words – the very first two – out of his mouth:

“Obviously disappointed,” Pagano said.

Within seconds Pagano was defending the effort of his team, saying this loss had “nothing to do with fight,” and here I’m picturing emotional inside linebacker Antonio Morrison snapping at Pagano after one early Jacksonville scoring drive and snapping at safety Matthias Farley after another. He’ll fight, all right. The only thing fast about Morrison is his temper, but on a team as moribund as the 2017 Colts, his passion stands out. At one point Pagano left the sideline to say some soothing words to Morrison way back there on that metallic bench.

“Just communicating,” Morrison said afterward. “No big deal.”

This team could use more communicating. Like, someone should have been talking about the possibility of a fake punt on the Jaguars’ first possession, which stalled at midfield. On fourth-and-7 from the 49, prime fake-punt position, Jags punter Brad Nortman found tight end James O’Shaughnessy alone at the 40, nobody within 20 yards. The play gained 29 yards, five plays later the Jags were in the end zone, and the rout was on.

It was 7-0, but it felt over. Last time these teams played, Jacksonville’s offense produced the third-most yards (519) in team history while its defense tied the franchise record with 10 sacks of Brissett and recorded 20 QB hits – the most in a single game by any NFL team since Sept. 24, 2006. Since that 27-0 Jags win on Oct. 22, these franchises have gone in different directions: Jacksonville winning four of its next five, the Colts losing four of five.

Brissett was about to play his worst game of the season (21-for-36 for 174 yards, two interceptions, one touchdown, four sacks, 56.9 passer rating), his second poor performance in a row as NFL teams have figured him out: Blitz and blitz and blitz. Brissett will make the occasional eye-popping throw, but he’s just as likely to hold the ball too long for a sack, or get rid of it too soon for an interception.

A better-coached team would do more to help its young quarterback, but these are the Colts. Once a game there is a head-scratching moment, and Sunday it happened midway through the third quarter. The Colts scored their only touchdown on Brissett’s 40-yard catch-and-run TD to T.Y. Hilton to draw within 24-10, then covered the kickoff so well that the Jags were forced to start from their 14.

Onto the field ran the Colts defense.

All 12 players.

One ref threw a flag, then another, and then it was snowing yellow. From the press box it looked like a stadium promotion – flags for the first 5,000 fans! – but the clueless Colts had no idea what was happening. It took the rookie outside linebacker from Ohio, Tarell Basham, to signal to five-year veteran Barkevious Mingo: Get off the field. Too late, of course. The Jags proceeded to drive the length of the field, from their 14 to the Colts’ 5, for a field goal that made it 27-10.

There were 34 seconds in the third quarter and all of the fourth still to play, but this game had no drama. Nor does the rest of the season. They’re going down quietly now, the Colts making noise only on their own sideline – yelling at their coach, slamming a helmet off a storage chest – while the other team celebrates at their expense.

On Sunday it was Jags running back Leonard Fournette, whose 5-yard TD run in the third quarter made it 24-3. He summoned his teammates to form a makeshift basketball lane in the end zone, then lofted a free throw over the cross bar. If you wanted an analogy for the Colts, there it was: Playing them is a free throw.

Although … if Fournette wanted to be truly accurate, he would have shot a layup.

Or jumped up there and dunked the damn ball.

Find IndyStar columnist Gregg Doyel on Twitter: @GreggDoyelStar or at facebook.com/gregg.doyel.

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