TRINITY Inlet has been dredged this week as part of a secret Federal Government plan to berth nuclear submarines near the Cairns CBD.

Two “mega dredges” have been operating throughout the week under the cover of darkness to move 200 million cubic metres of sand.

Under little-known Australian military laws, the Federal Government has overridden the State Government’s anti-port development regulations and also rescinded a pledge to UNESCO that now allows the dredge spoil to be dumped at secret offshore locations.

Such moves are allowed under the Australian Constitution if the Government deems they are necessary for national security.

It is understood the US Government ordered the dredging so it could move “Seawolf”-class nuclear submarines to the area after the recent leasing of the Darwin port to Chinese interests.

US President Barack Obama expressed dismay in October last year when the Darwin port was leased to the China-owned Landbridge Group.

Rather than risk intelligence breaches by continuing to dock submarines there, the US Navy chose Cairns as its new Northern Australia base, meaning the city could find itself in the middle of souring of Sino-American relations.

Australian Defence spokesman Lt-Gen Doug Silt quashed fears of a nuclear fallout devastating the Far North.

“These subs run on nuclear fusion, which has only recently been successfully trialled,” Lt-Gen Silt said.

“Unlike nuclear fission, waste produced by nuclear fusion has far less of an impact.

“In fact, we would expect that in the unlikely event of a catastrophic meltdown, Cairns would be liveable again in 250 years rather than the 500 years it would take otherwise. So it’s really quite exciting.”

Long-time anti-dredging campaigners welcomed the news after a dugong was recently found beached near Admiralty Island in the inlet.

They say dredging would allow safe passage for the mammals, and the deeper water might attract humpback whales.

“After careful consideration of the science that shows dredging has no major long-term environmental impacts and that 98 per cent of dredge spoil dumped offshore settles to the bottom within 200m, we now realise how wrong we’ve been,” said Theresa Green of No Development Ever Inc.

“Deepening and widening of the inlet channels will not only allow these submarines and cruise ships to dock here, but we also believe it will make for easier passage for dugongs and whales.

“This is really a win-win-win for all concerned and we especially love the US submarines’ zero emissions.”

Please note: This is an April fools story.