As Chris Gunter rattles through the names of the friends and family who will be sat – perhaps stood, celebrating – inside Wembley on Monday, the very sense of occasion becomes abundantly clear. In the absence of Paul McShane, Gunter will captain Reading against Huddersfield Town in the Championship play-off final, where both teams will fight it out for a place in the Premier League.

Moments before this interview at Reading’s Hogwood Park training ground Gunter is doing the mental maths, double-checking with Lynne, the club’s football administrator, that his loved ones have the necessary tickets. He is no stranger to this situation, having been part of the Wales team that reached the Euro 2016 semi-finals. “This is a lot easier than last summer,” the 27-year-old says, smiling as he alludes to factoring-in flights, differing time zones and his brother Marc’s wedding in Mexico.

As well as his family, a group of “real good friends” and almost 40,000 Reading supporters, Gunter, in search of his first promotion, will be buoyed from the stands by his former youth coach at Cardiff City, Terry Moore, now the assistant academy manager at Southampton.

“He was my coach from probably under-12s until under-16s,” he says. “I know it will mean a lot for him because he used to be directly involved with myself. To see him and for him to see me it will be nice, I always appreciate what he has done and the part he has played.

“You know that everybody coming, my family and friends, will have a great day and that they take great pride [in being there], and I take great pride in that as well. But you just hope when they see you after the game, they know what to say rather than trying to avoid you or think: ‘We’d better just leave him be.’ The difference is that we are in control slightly and they are not – which probably makes it worse for them,” he says.

It has been a marathon journey to the final for Gunter and his numbers are astounding: after playing 66 games last season, Monday’s match will be his 57th this term. He hopes to play a 58th, with Wales in Belgrade for their World Cup qualifier against Serbia on 11 June. “It has been two busy years,” he says.

He has missed so few games that he can instantly recall the last time he did – a “tiny spell” at the back end of last season when he had a groin injury. Nobody has been more grateful for Gunter’s dependability than Jaap Stam, the Reading manager, who describes the defender as “always fit and a great professional”.

“It is something I do take pride in really,” Gunter says. “There are things you can do away from the pitch to help yourself; you always have to get enough rest and recovery. There are certain times when you want to do other things, your mates or family are doing other things but sometimes you have to turn it down. Sometimes it can be quite boring but ultimately your job is to make yourself available for the manager and for him to know that he can call upon you.

“I think I’ve got a routine I do that I know works and I try to stick to that. It often results in being asleep by 10pm which a lot people find bizarre or boring but it’s worthwhile when I know I can go out there and play game after game. I have always been quite a boring, sensible sort of guy and it probably goes back to when I was young. I always did what was asked of me.”

Gunter believes it is impossible to compare club with country but, while he is reluctant to overindulge in what victory might mean, he acknowledges Monday’s final is not just another game. “There are people in Wales who waited a lifetime for their country to walk out at a major tournament but then that does not make it any bigger or smaller than a play-off final,” he says. “In one match, it is two years of your life. It is a year of your life and probably the next year as well. These types of games can change people’s lives around the training ground – not just the players’ – but people around the place.”

Regardless of the outcome, Reading are thriving again with Stam at the forefront of it all, after a couple of nothing years. For Gunter, a summer signing in 2012 following the club’s last promotion to the top flight, the rapid ascent and transformation under Stam, in his first season in charge, is difficult to put into words. “I don’t know if it is just natural or if he has just picked it up,” he says of his manager’s talents. Gunter talks of how Stam has “created a philosophy”: the respect the Dutchman commands and his training demands; the players had just one Sunday off over the regular season.

“The actual knowledge and the coaching he and his staff have, you can tell there is a real career behind that in the way they have been brought up in Holland – that’s obvious because some of the coaching is different. He has worked at some top, top clubs with the best, so he has probably picked up things along the way but then I also think sometimes it is hard to copy, so if he had tried to be one of the manager’s he’s worked under, I just do not think you can do that. He obviously has a gift in managing people as well.”

If Reading are the ones partying come Monday evening, Gunter is adamant the club has every chance of staying put. “I do not think this club did itself justice the last time it was in the Premier League,” he says. “It was a struggle from the beginning and, looking back, we were never in a position to give ourselves the best chance.”