I am Terry, 'your boy terry' and i implore you to kindly buy out time to watch the entirety of my 43:43 mins video below:

If you are not yet a user of steemit.com or ulogs.org, kindly watch the entirety of this video:





If you have seen my video, my "Thank You" is hefty!

Those videos constitute everything that i currently represent. It is my entire tired being in the rubble. It is me stretching out my hand once again, so that you can give me a hand.

Terry is fading. Suffering has now eaten so deep into my body. At this point, at this very point and i am in dire need of a healing.

It is hard to explain these things, when i can manage to put out a laugh, when i can manage to share laughter to others, when i can still manage to talk (talking dead) but if you had paid close attention while watching my video, to look into my weak eyes and listen to my 'gasps for air' within every short sentence, you will understand these things, that i have found hard to explain.

I really need to heal and it is now. I really, really, really need help to heal and it is now.

Incase, you weren't able to complete the videos above, i implore you to please read my article below!

It also contains my words and i have broken down to pop them.

I am Terry, 'your boy Terry' and i am @surpassinggoogle on steemit. I have been on steem for more than two years.

I love steem. I love the humans that constitute steem. With regards to humans, 'your boy terry' is a constant, whether bulls or bears.

But this particular 'terry' is entirely broken now. 'My being' is unstoppable but my body is now in over-drive and it has been, for a long time now.

I am very positive though!

How so?

'Surpassing Google' never stops!

It began from when i was a boy. The journey en-route "surpassing google" started when i was 13. From that particular time, i began to suffer , i began to grasp suffering and 'my suffering' was to have no outlet'; this i knew!

For the entire model and curriculum(s) behind 'surpassing google' to play out in-order and come out ripe, i needed to suffer without an outlet.

Don't worry, this was a positive thing!

I had special gifts, those needed to undertake this particular route. I had special virtues that allowed me to grasp, process and understand 'suffering' and redirect it. I was also gifted with a special understanding of life & humans.

I am only human though. I am very broken now.

When i arrive on steem, it was the sweetest thing. Prior to steem, i never rested. I had left my parents to be in the Philippines, alone. I was spending the years, doing 'time' in suffering, waiting for insight and learning. I was shaping out the model for surpassinggoogle, identifying the 'true needs' of the world of humans, the true state of the world etc

I found steem (organically via google) while in the Philippines and for the first time, 'surpassing google' began to take real shape. I could see better, for steem constituted also, "a CCTV into the true state of the world".

I began various aspects of the curriculum(s) that would play out "surpassing google", here on steem, in the midst of loving humans (steemians) as has been evident with #untalented #teardrops #steemgigs #ulog etc

Now, more than ever, we are closest to "Surpassing Google"! All the models are ready (for the first time ever) but it is also 'now' that my body is leaving me.

Terry is fading!

Besides all the 'setbacks and odds and unforeseen occurrences' (e.g my mum's passing away, my dad's illnesses, expenses etc) that have chosen this particular 'dire times' to drown me; my body itself is beginning to fail me.

I want to heal but i so, so, so can't do this alone. This is known!

Quickly speaking of my body, many times, with regards to 'healing it', i am alone. Not because i choose to be but because many times, i am not effectively able to explain my state to others well enough. (even doctors see me and say i look fine)

e.g can i explain to someone 'well enough', that i have not 'slept for years' and that it kills me? Well, the fact that i can even talk about it or relate it to someone, means i am not dying but how about 'talking dead'? (Talking dead isn't a very renown concept).

How about my 24/7-excruciating all-body-long pains? How can i explain that to someone (well enough), 'when i can manage to pull a laugh while trying to explain it; 'when i can visit the discord talks and talk for 10 hours to inspire others'?; AND how do i explain that i seek the toilet bowl many times during a day (to pull of a steem post etc), just to find a hollow place to suspend by body on, because my body can't touch surfaces without pains.

Can i explain that a young man like me doesn't see sunlight, don't visit places, don't have leisure, physically forgets to breathe well, struggles to poop once a week?

Can i relay evidence that i have lost every near-term memory, when i can manage to pull of this post or pull off the creation of the ulogs.org model?

Then, my nerves are 'always on' and my brain no longer knows how to control that i.e i don't have the ability to relax and the ability of controlling my brain to relax my nerves. How do i explain this to someone well enough. Then, can i explain well enough, that with 'nerves always on', i can't enjoy anything; yes, "anything"?

Can i explain the 'trauma' well enough, that i went through from watching my mum die (for her last 30 mins), after spending only 16-days with her (after now having seen her for 5 years); or the trauma from watching my dad (who doesn't sleep) wail in suffering everyday.

Can i explain the anxiety from seeking ways to raise money each day (especially for my dad's maintenance medicine), as i practically feel like 'a killer' any time i fail to.

I am not even able to explain these things 'well enough' to the understanding of even my close sisters. So, can i really explain it 'well enough' to the understanding of everyone?

This being the hard case, i end up staying mute and pushing and drowning and pushing and drowning, till my body and brain breaks.

It is hard for me to heal alone and i come here to now ask support.

I am very positive and the only way i can explain these things is with my ulogacies; converting any evidence of my intense suffering to 'light', by means of ulogs.org, steemgigs.org, teardrops SMT and Macrohard and taking these light and shine, right into tunnels, so that those in the tunnels no longer need to wait 'till the end of the tunnel'.

For this particular sake, my being just never rests.

To really heal, i need support especially with regards to bringing my steem-based projects to life.

Weeks ago, i broke down for the first time after many years with dengue fever. I had prayed to have some fever, that perhaps, my body and my being can retire and rest, even if for once but suddenly my dad fell ill too. He caught the dengue fever as well but with giant effect and he hasn't fully recovered till date.

His brain entered a sleep over-drive and began to lose mental energy. For days, he kept sleeping and he became weak and function-less.

We got him to the hospital in an ambulance and spent only 5 days there, where they mostly only hydrated him to treat his dengue fever and amassed us 1000 USD in bills; only to bring my dad back home how he left in sleep-mode.

In my case, there is just never rest.

I am very positive and i want to heal and now is the time-ly time because now, all the models for my projects are set and ready and it is the building and completion of these projects that is left to be done. This is where i need your support, especially now, when steem price is low.

Let me explain the models for my projects briefly......

Surpassing Google - 'removing all barriers to entry' with regards to 'every good thing', so that suddenly, 'everyone' can deserve and derive 'every good thing'.

See also this old picture:

from my introduceyourself post. I highlighted, this image to further explain why "surpassing google" requires serving the search engines, with fresh human content, where 'content is queen'.

For 'surpassing google' to succeed, we will have to reach everyone with a token. Thus, a core part of our ecosystem involves the release of the Teardrops SMT.

The teardrops SMT is our token, a 'breakthrough token' and 'emblem of human' to reward 'proof of tears', happy, sad or un-fell. It will have a Colorless Paper.

Now within the ecosystem of the Teardrops SMT, will be 3 steem-based interfaces:

Ulogs.org - to instill a culture of ulogging (mining the human daily) into the world.

- to instill a (mining the human daily) into the world. SteemGigs.org - to create an ecosystem of freelancers & dream-builders (SteemGiggers), where "everyone has something to offer".

- to create an ecosystem of freelancers & dream-builders (SteemGiggers), where "everyone has something to offer". Macrohard - to make 'everyone' capable on their own, of building a noble dream by creating a programming protocol in which 'everyone' can suddenly 'code with swag'.

While https://ulogs.org & https://steemgigs.org are already undergoing development, however slow; it is now essential that Macrohard begins, starting with a physical hub located in the Philippines.

Why So?

In recent times, 'the going' has been extremely tough. I am one who desires the more testimonial harder route when it comes to my endeavors and i have taken this route all my life.

I would push till i am broken, so that the world and generations-yet-unborn can find some extra light.

Too many years of doing just this and my body has now broken down, so critically. Besides, all my sacrifices, many unforeseen events happened recently and my overall health has declined critically in recent times.

My mum passed away (Nov 24, 2017) and without much or any time in 'the world of recovery', i had to relocate my dad to the Philippines to live with him and cater to him as a son. Upon his arrival though, i noticed that he has accrued many illnesses.

My mum kept this away from me. Knowing of my constant depression and knowing that i was alone in the Philippines etc

Prior to his arrival, i desired to open a MacroHard hub in my house, so that among other things, it could afford me the ability of staying at home to really take care of my dad, in my mum's absence. Too, for the first time, i could have some companionship right at home and my dad could feed off of some of this companionship too, especially in the absence of my mum, whom he was bound to miss.

Too this effect, i rented a house that could also fit in a Macrohard hub. This made rent very expensive.

However, unlike planned, i was never able to start the hub but i had continued to pay rent.

The thing is, when my dad arrived, i found him very ill. First of all, he has dementia, then add glaucoma to that, in a great man, who seeks his wife (of 35 years) as she was taken away from him to the Philippines, so abruptly.

Quickly see these two short videos: