Finally, Congress workers and leaders had something to cheer about with news of Italy’s close win over England in the Group D game of the Fifa World Cup piercing the clouds of gloom that has engulfed the grand old party of India. Giant cut outs of Soniaji, Rahulji, and Italian forward, Mario Balotelli, were wheeled out and lovingly fed an assortment of pizzas to kick-start the celebrations in the wee hours of dawn. Mani Shankai Aiyar had earlier given a clarion call, saying only Italy stood in the way of fascists in the world of soccer.

The celebrations got a fillip after a tired but happy Sonia herself joined in the revelry, doing an impromptu jig from the 10, Janpath balcony, sending workers into a tizzy. Rahul added a touch of gravitas by placing the win in perspective. Rolling up his sleeves, Rahul said, “Bhaiyya, in 1947, we defeated the British with love. Today, once again, our brothers from Italy showed the way. The Congress will similarly send the BJP and Narendra Modi packing in 2024,” before breaking into a dance move.

There were a few anxious moments when it was realized that there were a dearth of Italy flags to pass around but the Tamil Nadu Youth Congress saved the day. They had erroneously printed thousands of Italy flags instead of flags of the Indian National Congress to celebrate the Congress’ birth anniversary last year. “I know these TNYC fellas are a butt of your jokes, but once in a while, they come in very handy,” a senior Congress leader told The UnReal Times.

There were a few ugly moments though when Shashi Tharoor and Mani Shankar Aiyar got into a scuffle after the Thiruvananthapuram MP casually remarked that England also played well, inducing a spate of invective from Mani. Fortunately, Chidambaram intervened and separated the warring duo before things could degenerate into fist-cuffs.