I was in my usual place when Beyonce gave birth to a twin boy and girl on Monday in Los Angeles. It’s the place that I’ve been in during this entire pregnancy – on my knees, praying that I might get the chance to touch the hem of their garments at some point in my otherwise empty life.

TMZ is confirming that Bey and husband Jay Z are the parents of twins. Beymajesty and babies are still in the hospital due to a “minor issue” that hasn’t been identified. We can assume it’s because a vintage El Camino wasn’t driven in for her to give birth atop of for art’s sake. She’s not leaving that hospital bed until the situation is rectified.

Sources connected with the family tell us the twins were born Monday in a Los Angeles hospital. We’re told a “minor issue” surfaced, and as a result … doctors do not feel comfortable releasing them. One source told us Beyonce also remains at the hospital, but as far as we know she’s okay. The babies are expected to be okay as well.

A “source” (probably Matthew Knowles still trying to keep a dog in the race) tells People that the couple is ready to start spreading the news.

“Bey and Jay are thrilled and have started sharing the news with their family and closest friends.”

Earlier this week, the most sorely missed POTUS in history since JFK let slip that Beyonce might have given us twin daughters this week. But he was obviously wrong!

Violet Baby’s Breath Carter and Teal Virginia Creeper Vine Carter (Teal Virginia Creeper Vine will be the evil twin) are a manchild and womanchild who will one day rule the earth! (That will be after they wrest the crown from big sister Blue Ivy.) Those names have not been confirmed because I totally made them up.

But, hopefully the Carters will follow suit and keep the pattern going. You should definitely expect a multimedia name announcement in the coming weeks that will rival that labor-intensive Egyptian fertility goddess/Conan the Destroyer’s pregnant wife number she did with the chair tilt at the Grammys.

Pic: Instagram