First Aid For You ❤

Hang in there, because care is on the way. I too, have experienced deep loss and want to share what I’ve learned with you. If you’ve just lost a parent, then this article for you. If your friend lost a parent, then this is for you too.

Think of it as a first aid manual for firsts — the first days, the first week and the first month of grief. It’ll be in two parts:

Part 1: What To Do If You’ve Lost a Parent

Part 2: What To Do If Your Friend Lost a Parent

Why?

Because there aren’t enough resources out there for those who have just lost a parent. Death is still a taboo topic in many parts of the world, so dealing with it can be an isolating experience. But trust me, you’re not alone.

Unfortunately I know first-hand what it feels like to be lost after loss. I know it all too well because I’ve already lost both of my parents.

In 2010 when I was only 26, my dad took his last breath. We had spent holidays and family birthdays in hospitals for nearly a year. It was awful. He couldn’t even breathe on his own anymore and I will never forget the sounds of the machines that kept him going. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Thanksgiving was our favorite holiday and my dad used to make the juiciest turkey each year. Then suddenly there we were, “celebrating” Thanksgiving huddled around his hospital bed, eating microwaved turkey and mashed potatoes out of tupperware. That was our last Thanksgiving together.

Our family celebrating my brother’s birthday. ❤

Then last year the unthinkable happened — I lost my mom too.

It nearly broke me. She was my superhero and somehow I had imagined that she would live forever. Sure, she had lymphoma but we all thought she still had many years ahead. Just a month prior, she was happily playing badminton and singing opera. We had even gone to China together to visit her childhood friends and family. Looking back, it wasn’t a sightseeing trip for her. It was a farewell tour. She must’ve known. F*cking cancer.

Life is so unfair. I wasn’t supposed to lose both parents by my early 30s. I barely knew anyone who had suffered such loss so I didn’t know where to turn. As a former DNA scientist who researched cancer and disease, I had studied death in theory but couldn’t believe that it could hit so close to home. My mom and dad — both gone. Too damn soon. I would’ve given anything for just one more day. Just to see a smile again. To hear a voice.