Chinstrapped Man Leaves Voicemail Mocking Woman Who Tried To Help Him From Committing Suicide, Sexually Degrades Her, Says He Did It For Jesus

Share 926 Shares

This is Brock Tamburini from Dinwiddie, Virginia.

As you can see, he’s a grown man with a chin strap, which means he’s a massive toolbag here for our amusement. That’s just science.

He also likes to flash what I like to call country boy gang signs – constant pictures of himself with fish.

Brush, it’s a fish, not an AR-15.

Toby Queef apparently has been doing some awful things online to random women he doesn’t know in Facebook groups for Boxers (the dogs). Like how he has a tendency to pretend to be suicidal, gets women to try to talk him off the ledge, then mocks them for wanting to ride his baloney pony, or something.

He even went so far to mention that he was going to do it right after eating and fishing with his children, just to mess with this complete stranger.

As douchey as he sounds in writing, he sounds even worse when you add a bad southern accent. As you can hear in this clip he left with her he tells her that he was just pretending to kill himself because he enjoys wasting random women’s time, degrading them sexually, and announcing that he could have sex with them if he wanted to.

And of course he invoked Jesus too. This is the south after all. Remember that chapter of the Gospel where Jesus was messing with Mary Magdalene and said he was going to kill himself, but then he said he was just kidding and she was really an ugly whore with bags under her eyes who he could smash if he didn’t have a girlfriend? They never read that one at church anymore, but they should.

Somehow this moron has a girlfriend who willingly chooses to be with him too.

That face you make when you have no self-respect whatsoever.

Brock classifies himself as an “inventor” because he likes to shoot things.

Which of course is code for “unemployed.” So it looks like Brock’s girlfriend has really good taste, and this is a relationship built to last. What woman wouldn’t want to settle down with a guy who’s spent more time inside fish then he has inside women? Hey Brock, I know you were just kidding about the suicide thing, but if you’re ever serious about it I got this chick I know named Michelle Carter would could give you some GREAT advice. Hit me up.

Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:









Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: