A wise man once said “never argue with idiots as they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience”. With this in mind if you ever hear any of the following theories, nod, smile and walkaway.

1. Jews are a reptilian race from another planet

Psssst, do you know that shapeshifting reptilians from another galaxy walk amongst us? I wouldn’t expect you to as they look just like you or I, but be sure this cabal of reptoids are not only here, but secretly controlling our planet. Does this sound a bit far-fetched? That’s because you’d have to certifiably insane to believe it, yet incredibly Public Policy Polling found that over 12 million Americans believe this nonsense.

So what does this have to do with Jews? Antisemites have long tried dehumanizing the Jewish people, but this was always metaphoric until David Icke and the crackpot brigade began suggesting that a Jewish elite (“Rothschild Zionists”) had come from outer space to colonize Earthlings. These Jewish reptoids used their advanced outer-space knowledge to land the very best jobs on Wall Street and before one could say “New World Order” those sneaky shapeshifters had taken control of our planet via the banking system… obvious, right?

Is there any truth to the theory?

No.

2. Jews were responsible for 9/11

Shortly after terrorists flew two planes into the World Trade Center on 9/11, several publications in the Arab press began claiming that 4,000 Jews had failed to report to their desks in the twin towers that the morning and had thus escaped death. While most of us believed the official story, that al-Qaeda terrorists launched the attack, an alternative theory was gaining momentum in the Arab world which suggested it had nothing to do with al-Qaeda and was in fact an Israeli attack orchestrated to lure the United States into a war in the Middle East.

To ensure that not one Jew perished in the attack, Mossad (the Israeli Intelligence Agency) operatives contacted every Jew working in the WTC and gave them advanced warning not to go in that morning.

Is there any truth to the theory?

Unsurprisingly this theory is utter nonsense, as many as 400 Jews were tragically murdered that day and Al-Qaeda publically confirmed they were responsible for the attack.

3. Jews are trying to destroy the white race

Do you hate communists, homosexuals, Jews and western popular culture? Then boy do we have the perfect conspiracy for you. Neo-nazis around the world are adamant that Jewish conspirators have enabled mass non-white immigration to Western nations in order to breed the white race out of existence through inter-racial relationships.

It doesn’t end there, these conspirators have also introduced cultural marxism, which seemingly has nothing to do with marxism, but is infact a tool used to erode traditional Western values – replacing them with Middle Eastern Jewish values (the most commonly cited ones being militant-homosexuality, feminism, atheism and racial equality).

With this double pronged attack on Western values and the white race, these Jews seek to destroy everything we know and love.

Is there any truth to the theory?

Cultural Marxism is a theory attributed to a tiny group of mid-20th century marxist philosophers from the Institute for Social Research in Frankfurt. This group applied Marxist theories to social matters in order to “liberate human beings from the circumstances that enslave them”.

Some of the researchers were Jewish which led many on the right to claim that the Frankfurt School was actually a Jewish attempt to convince the masses that white pride is bad, sexual liberation is good and traditional Western values are reactionary and bigoted. Once the masses had abandoned these values they’d be replaced with Jewish ones.

To the simple racist bonehead this makes sense, what else other than a Jewish cultural attack could explain the West’s march towards equality and tolerance. Yet in reality this group had little influence outside of tiny academic circles. But more importantly there was nothing Jewish about them (other than the ethnicity of a handful), the Torah (which defines Jewish values) does not promote sexual liberation, atheism or anti-white values and the claim that these are Jewish principles is utterly ridiculous.

4. Jews orchestrated the holocaust

For thousands of years different people have tried to annihilate the Jewish people, in almost every land the Jews lived there have been periods of persecution and slaughter, the holocaust being the most notable of such attacks. To escape these attacks 19th century Jews began to campaign for the re-establishment of the Jewish homeland in Israel.

Today many anti-Zionists claim that these early Zionists believed the only way the world would grant them a homeland was if there was a catastrophic attack on the Jewish people. In order to attract the levels of sympathy required for the international community to create the state, the Zionists engineered the holocaust. They achieved this by first boycotting German goods knowing with almost prophetic clarity that the Nazis would respond by murdering millions of Jews in Europe.

Is there any truth to the theory?

This theory is completely baseless, but lets explore the logic all the same. Imagine you’re an early 20th century Jew that believes the only way to avoid future genocides is to return to Israel and build a Jewish homeland. Wouldn’t committing a genocide against 50% of your people to achieve this goal be a little bit self-defeating? The absurdity and downright offensiveness of this claim is beyond comprehension.

The Nazi party murdered 6 million Jews, not because of a boycott and certainly not because Zionist puppet masters engineered it. The Nazis carried out the genocide because they subscribed to the darkest and most hate fuelled ideology modernity has known.

5. Jews use nature to attack Muslims

In 2010 Egypt’s top beach resort was the victim to several shark attacks, Egyptian officials were quick to realise that this aquatic attack was no accident but an Israeli assault on Egyptian tourism. After capturing one of the sharks they discovered that a GPS tracking device found tagged onto the shark was actually a “guiding device” used by Israeli agents to attack tourists.

Vultures, Bee-eaters and Kestrels have also been captured and killed in various Muslim countries on suspicion of spying for Israel.

Is there any truth to the theory?

These theories are madder than a bag of frogs, ok thats probably not the best metaphor as the frogs could be Israeli assassins. These theories may be barking mad, but the truth behind them is quite sad as all of these animals had been fitted with tracking devices used by scientists to monitor migratory patterns. Upon reading the Hebrew on these tags these dimwits mistook the animals for enemies of the state and killed them.