Hi all,

This is my first ever post although in not new to the site, I have visited regularly in my times of distress. Very briefly, I've been suffering from what they call pure OCD since I was 18 but only received a diagnosis a couple of years ago which was a HUGE step forward for me as now I understood what had tortured me so viciously for years and robbed me of so much (it has manifested itself in so many forms!). I've been on meds for some time and I think they do help but the one to one therapy I received following my diagnosis was priceless in terms of granting me insight to successfully fight the condition.

Despite my insight however and long periods when I thought I was cured, it always comes back, often when least expected, and always as horrific and consuming. Although this is the case however, the insight that deep down you know this is OCD is the crucial step in overcoming it, even though that knowledge can seem irrelevant at the time of crisis.

A few months back, my OCD came back centred on the theme of sexually abiding my three month old daughter. I knew the intrusive images I was experiencing one day while looking after her were OCD and did my best not to react. They stuck with me the next day however and the anxiety and obsession continued to grow until it quickly became out of control and I was a wreck completely consumed by it, with a constant battle of reassurance going on in my head. As you will all know, it very quickly descends into a form of what feels like madness and exhaustion. I KNEW that it was OCD but it still completely overtook me and felt that something I was unable to escape (as it always does!). I think when it gets to this stage, we can try to not seek reassurance but it becomes extremely difficult and we find ourselves doing it without even realising we're doing it. Anyway I did my best not to engage it as much as possible and found that it helped to tell someone that I was struggling with my OCD at the moment, that the content was not important and that I knew I'd be ok again. And I was! From start to finish, it lasted about 2 months but it did eventually pass and now seems like nothing more than a bad dream I had.

I just wanted to say that to someone going through a crisis at the moment, I know you feel that you'll never feel right again and that this will never pass, but it will! Don't put too much pressure on yourself no KNOW that the thoughts you are consumed with are MEANINGLESS. Although the content of your obsession feels like the most important and pressing matter in the world, it is completely meaningless and absurd (a product of anxiety), something you will be able to scoff at when it passed, and it WILL pass. I hope this is helpful to someone as many of your posts were helpful to me when I was in the grips of it! Hopefully it may help me to read this back in future also when it does strike again. Be positive, you will be OK.