In the end, the governor who earned his fame as a gladiator won Tuesday night's gubernatorial debate with a chivalrous kiss on the cheek.

The moment came when each candidate was asked to say something nice about the other.

State Sen. Barbara Buono went first, and all she could muster was a sideways compliment that was grudging and quick: "He’s good on late-night TV," she snapped.

Then came Gov. Chris Christie’s turn. And he layered on the sweet tones as if Buono were an old friend who needed some cheering up.

"She’s obviously a good and caring mother and someone who cares deeply about public service," he said, turning toward her. "I would never denigrate her service."

Say what? This is the governor who normally fires off insults with the glee of a schoolboy armed with a pea-shooter. Among the terms he has used to describe his opponents: jerk, idiot, stupid, arrogant S.O.B.

But not Tuesday night. Because love him or hate him, this governor is a smart and disciplined politician. And he knew that with a commanding lead, and especially facing a woman, his prime directive was to avoid blowing it by picking a fight that might make him unlikeable.

Call it the Legacy of Lazio, after New York Congressman Rick Lazio, who famously blew his campaign against Hillary Clinton in the 2000 U.S. Senate race by walking to her side of the stage during a debate, slapping a paper down on her podium and demanding that she sign it.

His campaign imploded and Lazio later admitted he blew it at that moment by looking like a bully. Against a woman.

"At the time, I was making a point about a campaign finance pledge that Mrs. Clinton had made and I didn’t feel that it was being honored. I thought that was the opportunity to make the point," he said looking back. "On substance, it was right — and on style and perception, it was a mistake, which I regret."

Tuesday night’s gubernatorial debate, the first of two, was not the lopsided event many expected. Buono scored her points, hitting the governor over and over as a friend of the rich who had been indifferent to the middle class and hostile to the working poor. She hammered him for presiding over an economy that is a national laggard. All true.

She called Christie for breaking his 2009 campaign promise and cutting back property tax rebates, resulting in a 19 percent jump in the property tax burden for the average family. She was effective in pointing out that Christie’s real aim is to run for president and that he was catering to the Republican base when he closed down Planned Parenthood clinics and vetoed a bill allowing gay couples to wed.

"What bothers me is how you are running for president," she said.

But she has said all that before and it has not stuck. The polls are solidly with her on all these issues, but Christie has a bond with voters that somehow goes deeper. Her bullets keep bouncing off him.

And Christie, even this soft and cuddly version, scored at least as many points. Buono was a senior Democrat during a decade when property taxes jumped by 70 percent, a period when taxes and fees were raised 154 times, by the governor’s count.

Christie used his one question to ask her if she regretted any one of those 154 hikes. It was painful to watch her bob and weave.

Even when Christie was playing defense, as on gay marriage, he did it well, diverting attention from the core issue by saying that voters should decide the issues in a referendum.

"I don’t think that should be decided by 120 politicians in Trenton or by seven members of the Supreme Court," he said.

In the end, nothing changed. And that is a big win for Christie. His lead in the polls is stable at about 30 points. He has a bulging war chest that he will no doubt use to unleash a torrent of TV ads during the final four weeks that Buono has no money to answer.

Democrats are treating her like she has typhoid, like they might catch the losing virus if they get too close. Legislators are running advertisements underscoring their bipartisan alliances with Gov. Christie. President Obama won’t even stop at the airport in Newark to offer a pat on the back.

Given all this, Buono needed to score big. And at best, she held her ground.

She has just one more chance, in next Tuesday’s debate. And with just four weeks to go, her long odds are getting longer.

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