Are diamonds really a girl’s best friend?

Ehud Arye Laniado seems not to’ve thought so.

He went for something more.

The billionaire diamond trader had it all. Well, almost.

At 65, he decided to check in to a surgery center for a bit of the ol’ ultra violence. Down there.

For a bit of the ol’ enlargement.

The Belgian-Israeli dual national had had a rough time for a bit: He faced a claim against him by the Belgian government for $5.1 billion in unpaid taxes on illegally-imported Congolese and Angolan diamonds.

Plus a $2.2 billion fine.

What do you do when you’re facing such a steep challenge? It seems that, if you’re Ehud, you beat your chest. Man up. Psych yourself up.

And pump yourself up.

Literally.

I guess, for the fight, he wanted to come out swinging.

Unfortunately, during the procedure — when a substance was injected into his manpart (or front hole, if you will) — he suffered a heart attack.

Ehud passed away at a clinic on the Avenue des Champs-Elysees in Paris — a city for lovers.

It was a stirring end to a storied life.

Having begun his career as a Hilton hotel masseuse in Tel Aviv, Ehud went on to own the most expensive penthouse in Monaco, worth more than $39 million. He also had a crib in Bel Air.

In 2015, he sold the Blue Moon — the world’s most expensive diamond — for over $48 million.

As per Fox:

[An] old friend said that Laniado was “always focused on his appearance and how others perceived him.” According to Laniado’s friends, the only time he forgot about his short height was when he asked his accountant to read out his bank statement, something which he did multiple times a day, it was reported.

His company — Omega Diamonds — released a statement:

“Farewell to a visionary businessman. It is with great sadness that we confirm that our founder Ehud Arye Laniado has passed away.”

One of the billionaire’s pals told Fox Ehud’s knickname at Omega Diamonds was “the Argentinian, because he looked like a tango dancer.”

From tango dancer to wang-o enhancer. For primo romancer. If it ain’t cancer…somethin’ else’ll get ya.

You never know when it might be you — as it was Ehud — for whom the bell tolls.

Dong!

-Alex

See 3 more pieces from me: cop union president warns the “dirtbags,” California legislature bans pronouns, and toxic femininity gets the antidote it needs.

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