Earlier today I wrote a post on Facebook kinda/sorta addressing the Phil Robertson controversy:

“Those Duck Dynasty guy comments caused quite an uproar these past few days, and people are still embroiled in hot debate. Should he have gotten fired? Is free speech under attack in our country? Have we forgotten our values as a nation?



It’s times like these where I turn to our country’s true beacon of peace, love, and tolerance, Honey Boo Boo:



’Ain’t nothin’ wrong with bein’ gay! Everybody is a little gay!’



Preach it, sister.”

It was a semi-serious, mostly just joking excuse to show people a video where Honey Boo Boo STRAIGHT-UP TELLS THE WORLD SHE BELIEVES IN THE KINSEY SCALE which I think is dope as fuck.

A dude on my friends list named Ben shares the link, echoing the “Phil Robertson can learn from this” sentiments and another Phil who is apparently friends with Ben decided to comment, taking up the Robertson sword:

Like a blind man taking a driver’s test, he clearly has no idea when to stop. The stupid online debate goes from homosexuality to free speech to (logically) the FUCKING GUN RIGHTS DEBATE, which is when I realize I need to step in and make shit weird:

And that is when he took this shit too far. HIP HOP TERMINOLOGY? TROLLING IS A HIP HOP TERM? I literally had no other choice than to go batshit on his ass:

…And nobody commented since. I single-handedly stopped this argument with crazy. Even the people that were on my side didn’t want to be a part of it anymore.

So there you have it. Let this be a lesson to all of you: If there’s a dumb argument happening on the internet and you want it to not, just say insane bullshit until everybody commenting gets scared. Goodnight!