I think I can speak for all of us when I say that I’ve never muttered a line of dirty talk that I didn’t immediately regret. I’m like one of those talking dolls that comes with like three manufactured lines: “Ya like that dick?,” “Who’s your daddy?” and “Are you awake?” Jay kay. Point is, I’m as confident in sex talk as I am trying to order one of those fancy drinks at a hipster coffee shop.

Comedians Nikki Glaser and Kyle Kinane brilliantly exposed the everyday human’s perpetual struggle with small talk by juxtaposing it with people who do it for a living. The skit was featured on Nikki’s new Comedy Central show, Not Safe with Nikki Glaser. I laughed audibly about five times. I hope you did too.

P.S. If you guys got any sex lines that chicks don’t snicker at you for and totally ruin the mood, please leave them in the comment section. I could use some more in my arsenal, considering my lines work as well as a dick pumped full of whiskey in sub-zero temperatures.