Featured Image: Flickr via Gage Skidmore

In our lead national story today, we have breaking news to report.

Joe Biden, D-Delaware, who is competing for the Democratic Nomination (but let’s be real — it’s been rigged against Bernie the whole time) has formulated an entire sentence without completely veering off track and confusing the fuck out of everyone.

“This is exactly why I didn’t let him talk in public during my administration,” Barack Obama, former President of The United States, said.

“I mean, think about it. When did you ever hear him say ANYTHING while I was president? Yeah exactly. My poll numbers were low enough.” Obama added.

“What the fuck, no way – Joe Biden? Of all people? An entire sentence?” A concerned citizen questioned when hearing the news.

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