A 32-year-old Houston man is suing a stripper, claiming she never paid back a $2,000 loan or returned his laptop and Harry Potter DVDs. No, that's not an Onion headline.

Robert Wallace, a software developer, told My Fox Houston that he broke up with the stripper, Nomi Mims, earlier this month and decided to file the lawsuit after waiting a week for her to return the cash and items.

But Mims, who said she met Wallace at the Houston strip club Treasures last year and said they were never in a relationship despite Wallace’s claims, told My Fox Houston that the money wasn’t a loan.

“I don’t believe in loans because I don’t want to pay anybody back,” Mims said. “I’ve given him gifts, too. You know, I mean, how do I get my booty and boobs back?”

Wallace said the situation has caused him to rethink getting into another relationship with a stripper.

“I did kind of see it possibly ending this way,” he said.

Mims said Wallace isn’t the first customer asking for a refund, adding that other patrons would follow her home and she’s had to move twice and switch gyms and jobs.

“No refunds in the strip club. I’ve even had people come up in there asking can he get a dance and he’ll pay me back next week,” she said. “We ain’t got no layaway plans either.”

The case doesn’t yet have a court date scheduled.