

Chapter One:

Welcome To SPACEBALLS

The Ballspace Hi, Welcome to "Spaceballs: the Uncyclopedia Ballspace". Feel free to relax, make yourself at home, take your clothes off and sit back as we tell you about how a long time ago, yet somewhat in the future, in a galaxy far, far away unless you happen to live there, in which case you'd be home right now, came a man who would become a god to geeks all around the universe. His name was Luke Georgewalker. He created the famous Spaceballs The Rip Offs known as (A word never to be uttered in the presence of Lord Helmet). That guy created Star Wars (Ah crap, we said it!) parts 1, 2 & 3 which were actually beknoweth to him, but not beknoweth to any one else that parts 1, 2 & 3 where actually parts 4, 5 & 6 because parts 4, 5 & 6 are really parts 1, 2 & 3 and not parts 4, 5 & 6 and now that he has completed parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6 which is actually 4, 5, 6, 1, 2 & 3 he has decided to make parts 7, 8 & 9 which he is considering calling parts 10, 11 & 12 to avoid any confusion. So what does all this have to do with Spaceballs the ballspace here on Spacelopedia.com?. Absolutely nothing. Harr-harr...fooled you ... now prepare to be attacked by my Spaceballs the (:P) emoticon on the count of three... 1, 2, 3... 3.... three!.... III?.... I Said THREE damn it, so where the hell is it? Attention all personnel: Spaceballs the Raspberry Emoticon cannot be displayed because even in the the future nothing works Fuck! Chapter One point 69:

Spaceballs

The Next Bit So who are the Spaceballs? Could they be an intergalactic bowling team? Or maybe they are an ancient organization of perineum refugees? Is it possible they might just be balls in space? If these previous things where your guess, then your surname must be "Asshole", and a major one at that. The Spaceballs are the people who will try steal your air when you're living in a bubble without a care. Because what you've got is what they need, and all they do is dirty deeds 'cause they are Spaceballs, watch out. You don't wanna mess around with the Spaceballs... I had a cousin once who messed with with the Spaceballs and he got his testicles burned off by the Lord Helmet's Shwartz ring, so heed my advice, shmuck.... everybody got that? Good Chapter After The Previous:

Spaceballs

Good Vs. Evil If you wish to be a real Spaceball, or abide by the law of the senate run under President Skroobs "Law of Ballspace", then you must remember one thing, and it is the most important thing that any true Spaceball can remember, so you must never forget it, (unless you are a set of female twins with really large baboobas), and that law is that evil will always triumph over good, because "good"... is dumb. Should any Spaceball employee come across any "goodie two-shoes" against the ways of the Green Shwartz, they must be prosecuted, executed and done-away with-uted.

Such enemies of the Spaceballs include "Lone Starr" and his sidekick, Puke.

Barf: "Excuse me, umm, Pardon me, but that name is "Barf".

Spaceball: "Who the hell are you?"

Barf: "I'm Barf! Half man, half dog... I'm my own best friend!"

Spaceball: "Are you a spaceball?"

Barf: "Pfft... No!"

Spaceball: "Then you must die.... prepare to die on the count of 3... one, two.... hey! where'd you go?

Damn it... we should just do things instead of always preparing".

Chapter Break

Spaceballs the Uncyclopedia takeover

Oh shit, there goes the server Currently we here at Spaceballs The Ballspace are planning to take over several websites. So far we intend to start here with Uncyclopedia.com, over 10,000 gigabytes of refreshed pages are ours for the taking. Though the way Skroob runs it, it won't last 100. As a matter of fact, we have people combing this site as we speak. To prove our awesome powers that be we will now cross over to General Admission for an up to date tracking of what pages we the Spaceballs have taken over so far. ...oh for fu... Snotty, beam that soon to be executed Spaceball to Lord Helmets office right now.

Now, sir?

Yes, now then. Ok, doing it then, sir.

No not "then"... NOW.

What now then, sir?

Not then..NOW!

You mean now or just then?

No, we're passed then, so do it now.

Ok, doing it then, sir.

No, not "then"... NOW

Huh?

Never mind, i'll do it myself.... soon.... and why the hell are we speaking over this side of the page?

*SMACKS SPACEBALLS THE COMPUTER*

*bleeps, sweeps, creeps* Cough cough... that's better. Chapter.. something something

Spaceballs the ballspacing

yadda yadda yadda Soon this Ballspace will be full operational and you will witness the awesome power of this armed and fully operational battle station with 155 levels of fun, adventure and validated parking. Be sure to pick up one of the SPACEBALLS the Ballspace brochures on your way out and you can see exclusive sneak previews of the soon to be complete 2001 Spaceballs odyssey adventure debt star that will include over 75 coffee lounges, 180 beer gardens, 19 mini-malls, 12 day care centers, theme parks, zoos, 3 ring circuses and over 1,000 movie theatres that show everything and anything you can imagine that could be seen. Except the Spaceballs the movie on video cassette that is available for download before this page is finished. As we all know, it was banned by our beloved master. So make sure if you view it it's only the DVD copy, ok? Otherwise it's your spacedballs on the line. Here are some all new coming attractions to Spaceballs the ballspace soon. SPACEBALLS: The photo gallery President Scrooed.

Coming soon to a galaxy near you.

Lord Helmet Helmet Lord Gaming.... Thingies.

Free with every purchase of fresh air.

WHAT? That shouldn't be here.

We know, but they will kill you if you don't buy their album.

Why is... is his ... SPACEBALLS: the WTF? message.

Validated black-hole parking!



What was that? What is going on around here?

Sir, we're picking up something on the Spaceballs the Anti-virus... seems to be the outline of a www.winnebago.com trojan horse hacking tool hacking into our page, sir. A Winnebago? *gasp* LONE STARR!!!







Chapter Closure

Spaceballs the big BOOM

destruction button activated Hi, there. My name's Captain Lone Starr. My friends and I have come here to make sure that the Spaceballs the ballspacers never have the chance to take over any of your www dot creations. As you can see to the left, we have successfully hacked into this page. And are now about to destroy it from the inside. What I suggest you do, is relocate yourself to another page... away from any danger of being harmed when you refresh this page later and it says "Spaceballs: the 404 Error. Page not found" Now get out outta here, kid. Run for cover. These Spacebums will never be a menace to you ever again. One last thing before you go. For your bravery for having gone through this ordeal, i'm gonna let you know a site address where you can win a million bucks just by signing up. That address is www... *Thank you for pushing the self destruct button. This page will now explode in 10 seconds. BARF!!! I was in the middle of a speech

Sorry, Boss!

Idiot... now they're never gonna know how to earn a free measly million spacebucks.... now lets blow this joint and go home.





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Nice try, but, we're not saying it.

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Have a nice day... come back and see us soon.

Whats going on boss? Is that it? A picture of an explosion marks the end of this articles existence? That makes no sense to me.

Remember Barf, this is Uncyclopedia after all, nothing ever does make sense.

Uh huh! You're right. You, you're always right. Does this mean we can end it on a really smutty shot of a chick... like say, your wife, Vespa? I've always wanted to see her naked you know, boss!?

Sure thing, Pal. You got it!

HEY WHAT THE.....??????

Ohhhhh ... that's gonna leave a mark on his ego.

