LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

With the deadly CoronaVirus death toll nearing 6000 and with almost 30,000 reported infections, the world is at panic stations.



Although the threat to Australia is yet to be fully assessed, many feel the situation is lacking leadership as travelling health advocate Health Harold was spotted holidaying in Hawaii while the full blow crisis unfolds.



Healthy Harold is widely regarded as Australia’s prime advocate for healthy living, travelling to schools and teaching children that stranger’s caravans usually contain puppets, anatomically correct human models and are perfectly safe.



Now it seems the beloved educator is in hot water as he tans himself on the beaches of Maui while the health crisis grips the globe.



Initially denying that the spokes-giraffe was on holiday, Harolds team of helpers (known by school children as ‘the lady’) were caught lying when Harold posed for a photo with a group of Australians on holiday.



Many have been quick to condemn Harold who stated he is sorry to have caused any offence and will fly back home as soon as a plane with enough headspace to accommodate him can be arranged.



“Let’s be honest,” stated Harold, “I’m not going to be holding a vaccine. I’ll be coming back but until then just make sure you don’t smoke and eat a diet with plenty of variety.”



The statement caused further controversy with some calling for his resignation and calling him a Murdoch puppet.



Conservative commentator Alan Jones has condemned these comments swearing that Harold is not a puppet.



“He’s not a puppet OK?” demanded Jones.



“He’s real!”

