Do I keep writing? Or do I take a page out of Clay Helton’s playbook and punt on the rest of the season?

I’m going to try to work up the energy to write a couple thousand words about this team every week but honestly, they don’t deserve the effort. And when I say ‘they’, I mean the coaching staff.

Whether it be a disguised insult by the opposing team or advanced analytics, USC is known to be one of the most talented teams in the nation. So why are we 1–3? Coaching.

This is the worst coached team I’ve ever witnessed and I’ve been a part of some badly coached teams. When I was ten, my Pop Warner team was down 13 points in the championship game and the coaches left us to give our own halftime speech. WE WERE TEN! We did our best to handle the situation by quoting lines from Air Bud and Little Giants. What I would give for that golden retriever to coach this team…

In my senior year of high school, my coach broke down in tears and left our film session the day after we couldn’t beat his alma mater, De La Salle. It was the second game of the season and he gave up because we couldn’t satisfy his Napoleon complex and beat the best team in the nation and his former coach. This makes me assume that Clay Helton had a similar melt down after USC lost to its former coach and top team in the nation, Alabama.

If only Clay Helton gave up on the Trojans so we could be more open about the current coaching search that is definitely taking place.

Maybe he has? His decisions to punt late in the games on manageable fourth downs shows he rather play to not lose.

I can’t have a coach who is consistently doubling down on his idiotic decisions to punt late in the game. Any one who has played Madden knows punting is stupid.

Coach Helton has started to make me hate college football. I get disgusted when I see teams make three and out stops. Or go for it on fourth and one. Or score without having to take two timeouts on the drive.

The best decision I made this week was leaving the bar after USC’s final punt. I knew. You knew.

Even the players knew!

The insult to injury is the bar tab I amassed when I could have easily watched this misery from home.

The fumbles were bad. Utah caught some lucky breaks. Sure, there were missed penalties here and there, but this loss was on the coaches again. Sadly, it doesn’t look like it’s going to change anytime soon

This is what complacency looks like. When Helton was coaching to remove his interim tag he was taking any chance he had to win. Now it’s the complete opposite.

Helton is the equivalent of a neglectful newlywed. Now that he’s married to USC, he thinks he can stop doing his fair share and lay around the house. Don’t be surprised if you find your clothes out on the lawn one afternoon. We fired people through the phone and on airport tarmacs. We will have to get a little more creative for this dismissal. May I suggest the skull emoji?

This is all dependent on whether or not our current athletic director has the common decency to dismiss Clay in a respectful manner.

Our coaches are basically the computer opponent in any football game, but not the recent video games that have come out in the last couple of years; those have very realistic AI. Think more like Madden 2004 or Tecmo Bowl.

Imagine doing what Tee Martin did in a normal workplace. Well, Justin had the majority of sales in the company so we are going to give him a breather from September to December to let some of the other less talented salesman take his leads.

I guess this analogy doesn’t work that well since Justin Davis will not be receiving any compensation for his hard work on the field, while Tee Martin nets millions for doing nothing.

Actually, that does sound like corporate America.

I missed our Bend AND Break defense.

Guess we didn’t have any change since we went to our Nickel defense on the first drive. Nothing says run defense like five defensive backs in the secondary.

When you play conservative and punt up three points in the fourth your opponent knows you’re going to be playing defense scared so you might want to throw in some aggressive play calling to get some stops. Or you can rush three linemen and give the quarterback all the time in the world.

Too bad Kyle Whittingham blew his job interview with USC last season or he would have locked it up with this drive. Polar opposites of coaching in this game. Utah showed what happens when an unstoppable force meets an incredibly movable object.

What do Trojans’ fans want this year? An utter collapse and below .500 finish leading to the immediate firing of Helton? Or salvaging what’s left of the season, making a mediocre bowl game while possibly leaving the door ajar for Helton to stay a second year. I’ve seen enough years of Jeff Fisher coaching in the NFL to know that a late season winning streak doesn’t translate to the next season.

At least we are witnessing a part of history?

Players would rather study than be on this team right now. Hopefully Noah is learning a lot about shipbuilding before the torrential downpour of biblical proportions on November 8th.

Also, someone find a girl horse for Traveler.

It’s a strange world when a coach who has won a national championship gets fired while we will hold on to the future offensive coordinator of Memphis until the end of the year.

I’m kidding of course. Clay Helton will end up being Steve Sarkisian’s errand boy at Alabama next season.

The Mad Hatter will be eating grass off the 1st tee box instead of the sidelines for the rest of the season in Baton Rouge.

No wonder the White Rabbit was always late in Wonderland. Look at this clock management.

The firing of Les Miles was shocking, but then again, when you hire Professional Interim Coach Ed Orgeron onto your staff you can’t be surprised when you get sacked halfway through the season.

See what you could have had, Trojan Fans? A former assistant coach loved by his players and hand-selected by an administration with questionable decision making. Wait…

Alumni from all eras are chiming in to voice their displeasure in the program’s current state. Whether it be Keyshawn Johnson…

Or Lendale White…

I can continue to list tweets from former players but the rest of the Pac-12 doesn’t deserve to see this much schadenfreude.

And while former players have been the most boisterous about USC this season, donors are holding back donations to the school and the Trojans’ stadium renovation.

Hell, this football team makes me want to demand my money back. But it’s mostly because of my crippling debt from student loans.

At least we are ranked in something this year.

While we are on Alumni…

A world class lifeguard and a lockdown corner? Josh Shaw can do it all.

I said at the beginning of the year Su’a was one of the best players to ever play defense for the Trojans and now he has the inside track for NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year. Remember when he allegedly told Pat Haden that he’d stay his senior year if Helton was hired permanently?

Trojans’ just seem to excel past their abilities once they reach the NFL. Almost like they were held back by awful defensive schemes and coaching.

I guess not every former Trojan excels past college.

Kessler was born to be a Brown.

It’s always nice to make obscure stat comparisons like these. Gives you hope.

Sam Darnold is a stud. He played above my expectations but then again I watched Max Browne float five yard screens for the last three weeks.

He may be good enough to not be completely derailed by Les Miles’ inability to foster quarterback talent next year.

Hey Bobby. Why have Lamar Jackson when you can have an extremely lesser version of him?

Los Angeles has plenty of highways and interns for your motorcycle joyrides.

There are some bright spots. Chad Wheeler is one of the best linemen in the country. Good thing he was benched during the first two games for someone who likes to fight referees more than the defensive line.

Our two bright spots on the offensive side were both players that weren’t starting at the beginning of the season. Helton’s judge of talent is with that of the Republican National Committee (and Democratic National Committee for that matter). 2016 has been awesome!

God bless Adoree’. All of this talent has been squandered.

Rookie contracts are scaled now so we should be able to afford to keep him another year.

These articles are more of a venting process from the previous game than an actual preview of this week’s opponent.

If the Utah game was any indication that time is a flat circle, expect ASU to win this game on a last second Hail Mary. Let’s just make this season as painful as possible and rid the stain of Pat Haden off of our football program forever.

Another week. Another jab at USC’s inability to foster their talent onto the field.

The offensive line, defensive line, running backs, secondary, linebackers, receivers and special teams will be the best they play this season.

Fortunately for the Sun Devils the Trojans are lead by Coach Klein from “Waterboy”

And now the 1–3 Trojans are favored BY TEN POINTS over a 4–0 team Sun Devils? I always believe that Vegas always knows but I’m skeptical .

Here is something in Helton’s favor; a good home record. Good thing our fans are always dedicated to the program and don’t have anything better to do on a Saturday night in Los Angeles.

I bet you’ll be able to hear a pin drop in the Coliseum.

Arizona State has an extremely talented offense led by running back Kalen Ballage. Their defense is easier to score on than their entrance exam.

Would I be surprised if USC won? Nope, but I am not going to be glued to my television to find out. When your college football team is making you enjoy the other things in your life, that is a major problem. Last year I was on my couch from 10 am until “Pac-12 After Dark”.

Now I want to go outside, be active, and enjoy the company of my friends and family.

This team is so bad, and so disappointing that they are no longer a distraction from reality. So I’ll be enjoying my life instead of watching this team…

*End up watching the majority of the game*

USC 28 Arizona State 31

You can follow me on twitter at Sports By Scondi

Special thanks to my numerous “editors”; Ashton, Jef and Tommy

Sources: USC Athletics, SBNation, Conquest Chronicles, ESPN, Reign of Troy, Rivals, Scout, Deadspin, Wikipedia, Google, ESPN, and a lot of other places