cryingnewyork:

IKEA

1 Beard Street Brooklyn, NY 11231

I had heard tales of this magical place down in Red Hook. My friends kept telling me how big it was, how many nooks it had. After months and months of fantasizing about this cry, I finally decided to give it a shot.

I’m sorry to say it was a terrible mistake.

It takes approximately 5 hours to find the exit after you enter this place. “5 hours? That’s nothing! I once cried for 4 days straight!” I told myself. Oh, hindsight is 20/20. Not only does it take 5 hours to find an exit, but the place is 1000% swamped with people. It was a terrible, anxious cry from the start. No thank you!!!! They also sell salmon at their cafeteria which really exasperated my cry because why are we selling salmon at the Ikea cafeteria, everyone?!?!?!? This is insane.

If you’re into a lot of people and bright lights and thinking you’ll never make it out of somewhere alive while you cry - go for it. Otherwise my advice is stick to ANYWHERE else!!!!