It’s time for the grand finale! We start off with a “She done already done had herses” message from RuPaul celebrating the show’s tenth anniversary.

To commemorate this crazy milestone, Mama Ru has invited the OG queens from season 1 to hang out on the grand finale’s main stage!

Drag Race’s first ever eliminated queen, Victoria Porkchop Parker! Her hair’s fab but she could use a better beat.

Akashia looks pretty good for a dead bitch.

Jade‘s hairline is iffy, but otherwise, she looks fierce.

Ongina is serving All Stars realness. When is that happening?

Shannel should’ve won that challenge.

Rebecca Glasscock is giving us ascended villain who’s taking control of her destiny.

I don’t know about you, but I miss Nina Flowers on my television.

Bebe Zahara Benet is back, bitches! Camerooooooon.

Now for the bitches we’ve been waiting for: the season 10 queens!

Miss Vanessa Vanjie Mateo over here looking like she got some coin since her elimination. Fab.

Kalorie Karbdashian-Williams is serving tropical fish realness. I’m into it.

Yuhua Hamasaki waited until the finale to bring out her nice looks, evidently. Looking stun.

Dusty Ray Bottoms is giving us alternative glam with her classic dotted face. Serve that uniqueness, henny.

Oh, work, bitch: Mayhem Miller‘s turcoaaahze fantasy is selling it.

Blair St. Clair is giving us everything with this giant polka-dotted thing. I approve.

Monique Heart is going full-on brown cow (stunning!) with a great reveal.

The Vixen is killing it with this super pretty accoutrement and matching hair and makeup.

Monét X Change is looking bodacious and gorgeous in her sponge-inspired dress and is serving big hair! She even has a little sponge hidden in there to mop her face with.

Miz Cracker is giving us mourning realness, which is a bit extra, honestly, but at least she looks great.

Aquaria is here! And once again, she does not disappoint in the lewks department. Looking good.

Asia O’Hara is continuing with the exotic royalty trend with this gorgeous piece. I mean, wow.

Eureka’s got a simple yet beautiful reveal. I’m always saying this—I love poofy dresses, so this hits the spot for me. Werk.

And speaking of incredible gowns: Kameron Michaels is giving us princessy perfection tonight. Yas, mawma.

And lastly, surrounded by dancers and even dancing herself (gasp!), it’s RuPaul!

Without further ado, we go to RuPaul’s on-stage interview with Aquaria.

Aquaria names Asia O’Hara her biggest competition and cracks some jokes. She seems much more eloquent than usual, which, hey, good for huh. Her parents are both here to support her too!

After the commercial break, Ru gets a video message from Oprah Winfrey. Mainstream realness.

Ru is all over that video message.

Aquaria gets a question from the audience: it’s Jaymes Mansfield!

Jaymes asks how Aquaria would “make America great again,” but like for real. Aquaria recalls her Melania Trump “any hole is a goal” joke and uses it as a metaphor for creating opportunities for inclusion.

Up next, Asia O’Hara! Asia introduces her drag daughter and her boyfriend who are cheering for her in the audience. Ru asks about the boyfriend and Asia announces they’re going to get married. I don’t think they had actually discussed that.

For the interview section, Olympian Gus Kenworthy is asking a question!

With that out of the way, Ru asks Asia what she would say to her parents if they were watching tonight. She says she’d like to thank them for teaching her how to help other human beings and how to be a better person.

Ru brings up the slapping mini-challenge incident where she accidentally smacked Asia for real and offers for Asia to return the favor. Except she casually mentions how she’s the reason Asia is here in the first place.

Another commercial break, another message from a superstar! Dame Judi Dench and her daughter Finty Williams congratulate Ru on her ten years and tell her “shantay, you stay.”

Next on the main stage is Eureka. She talks about wanting to use the $100,000 cash money to help her family get a fresh start. Speaking of, they’re here, and her mama encourages her.

Mariah Paris Balenciaga comes up to the mic to ask a question, but first, she has this whole soliloquy about being a Southern gal and liking snacks and throwing the nasty ones away.

Ru cracks the fuck up.

Eureka gets to play Fuck, Marry, Kill with the other top three: She’d fuck Asia, marry Kameron, and kill Aquaria.

On a more serious note, Eureka talks about her Drag Race journey and says what really matters is our connections with our family and loved ones, and to never lose sight of that.

Last but not least, it’s Kameron Michaels! Ru asks her what her lip-syncing secret is, and Kameron says the first thing is to “know your words.”

Bebe Zahara Benet returns to ask Kameron whether she has more sex in drag or out of it. Kameron responds that she doesn’t have time for sex, that she gets four hours of sleep a night and she ain’t giving that up for some D.

Kameron gets a video message from her grandma, who she didn’t think would be supportive of her drag. But girl, she is, and she’s proud.

Now before the top four can lip-sync their way to the crown, the other season 10 queens are joined by the season 1 girls in an anniversary lip-sync extravaganza! Highlights include:

Bebe Zahara Benet and Kalorie Karbdashian-Williams, two queens I never thought I would see performing together.

Rebecca Glasscock with a (slightly basic) reveal! A for effort.

Blair St. Clair and Ongina fully feeling themselves to “Sissy That Walk.”

Miz Cracker looking slightly dead in the eyes as she lip-syncs to “American,” probably bitter as fuck that she was eliminated before she could record a verse on the Rumix.

I’d watch a season of All Stars with this cast, tbh.

Now, it’s finally time for the top four to duke it out!

Carson Kressley explains the format of the lip-sync contest while doing his very best impression of a straight man.

RuPaul spins the wheel to determine the first lip-syncer, and it lands on…

As the wheel-elected queen, Kameron gets to choose her opponent. She goes for Asia O’Hara.

Asia now gets to choose between Box 1 and Box 2, each held by a half-naked Pit Crew member and each containing a Janet Jackson song.

Asia O’Hara picks Box 1, which contains…

Let’s go!

The second the song starts, Kameron throws herself into this sexy-ass armography, followed by a hilarious sponge reference by Asia.

Then Asia starts off a series of… questionable reveals.

Her outfit is secretly full of live butterflies that are… not being cooperative. Oh, at all.

Kameron strips off her robe and reveals her sexy-ass outfit.

Meanwhile, Asia is popping off her titty and bracelet pouches and realizing the butterflies inside are all either dead as fuck or too terrorized to fly out.

So she tries to launch them in the air instead.

At least Kameron Michaels is doing great.

The lip-sync ends (thank God) and Kameron realizes she’s been dancing all over dozens of butterflies (dead and alive) on the floor.

The winner, very unsurprisingly, is Kameron. Asia O’Hara sashays away with a horrible, horrible failure after such a great run on the season.

With that horrifying moment over with, it’s time for Eureka and Aquaria to lip-sync. This next one is to…

Right away, Aquaria peels off her aluminum foil thing to reveal her outfit.

But Eureka has two outfit reveals, with a high kick in between.

Poor Aquaria was planning on getting through this lip-sync with just lip-syncing prowess and doesn’t have much in the way of reveals besides this sparkly nipple thing.

And then there’s another reveal.

To be fair, Aquaria does do well.

But it’s hard to match a reveal, which is really what lip-syncing has (sadly) become all about.

With that, RuPaul—and the rest of the world—are faced with the horrifying idea of Aquaria being eliminated.

So Ru keeps both.

The final lip-sync will involve three gals. Three! Poor Asia.

But before we move on to that, it’s time to announce this year’s Miss Congeniality! Here to do that is the OG Miss Congeniality from season 1, Nina Flowers.

Okay, nevermind, Valentina‘s just doing this whole shindig from Berlin, where she’s touring.

The winner is… Monét X Change!

Condragulations, Sponge Queen!

Now here to introduce the final lip-sync… Our season 9 queen, Sasha Velour!

It is time. The final lip-sync song: “Bang Bang” by Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj (Dusty Ray Bottoms is shook).

Right away, Aquaria slays by lighting a spark as the song starts.

Then, bam, a Kameron reveal!

And then a Eureka reveal!

The last few seconds feature so many stunts it’s hard to count—culminating with Aquaria popping a confetti popper.

When all is said and done and the stage is swept clean of confetti (and leftover butterfly carcasses), RuPaul and Sasha Velour return to the main stage for the big announcement.

And the winner is…

AQUARIA!

Aquaria is America’s Next Drag Superstar!

Eureka and Kameron Michaels did a great job, but with Asia O’Hara out of the running, there was, in my opinion, only one valid choice to win the crown here—and that’s probably why Ru declared a double shantay to save her. Regardless of that little misstep, this is 100% deserved for Aquaria and I am so, so happy for her.

That concludes season 10 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Next year, Todrick Hall joins the race and Serena Cha Cha comes out of a box to compete again, only for the season winner to be ultimately decided by Shania Twain. I can’t wait!

It’s been grand, queens. Thank you for reading my recaps this year. I’ll see you all on the flip side!

VANJIE!