Reality TV has never, ever improved on episode one of 1997’s Driving School, and Maureen "Mo" Rees slowly cutting in front of a moving vehicle on a dual carriageway outside Cardiff. You can stick Susan Boyle throwing a cat in the bin and Rebecca Loos wanking off a pig right up you. None even come close to an old Welsh bus driver called Dave, absolutely certain he's about to die, screaming "WHOAH" and trying to wrestle the steering wheel away from his wife, who by this point had already failed her driving test six times.

There are many lakes in Wales, and various legends associated with each. My favourite is yet another tale that would end up being bastardised by Arthurian legend: The Lady of Llyn y Fan Fach. Also known as the Lady of the Lake, but not at all like the English version where she appears to give Arthur a sword or raise Lancelot after the death of his father, The Lady of Llyn y Fan Fach is a supernatural being who agrees to marry a young farmer on the condition that he wouldn’t hit her three times. They married, raised cattle, and had three sons – but the farmer failed to keep up his side of the deal. On the third strike, the lady was like "see you after" and fucked off back to the lake as promised, taking the cattle with her. The farmer heartbrokenly followed and then drowned himself in it. The lady later appeared to their sons to tell them their mission on earth was to relieve the pain and misery of mankind, and they all became skilful physicians – now known as the famous Physicians of Myddfai. So there you are, The Lady of the Lake: not a temptress or a facilitator of men, but an enforcer of women’s rights and influencer of herbal medicine.