Anonymous

Is the Church the Antichrist? (...)

>Lucifer: I am the Anointed Cherub. I am a being of perfection and wisdom. I am the only way. All of Heaven must bow to me

>Michael: Hey, bro. You're being kind of a dick and it's pissing God off.

>Lucifer: BAHAHA that is fucking rich. You, Michael, think you know God's will better than me? His favorite creation? I'll show you (transforms into a big ass dragon. A third of all angels support him)

>Michael: K bye (throws Lucifer and one third of the angels from Heaven and the fall to Earth like lightning)

>Jesus: Hey guys. I'm the son of God. My dad told me to tell you that if you love Him with all your heart, soul and mind and also love your neighbor like yourself, you will live eternally. No, really. Those two things. That's all. In fact, don't pray like the Pharisees who get all dolled up in their temples and preach on street corners. If you're gonna pray, just do it at home before bed by yourself. Here, take this prayer that instructs you to do things on Earth the way my Dad did them in Heaven. One of those things was rejecting Lucifer btw. That guy sucks. Also, you guys are going to kill me for telling you this, but that's okay because my sacrifice will free you from sin. All you have to do to be forgiven now is ask. Also love each other the way I have loved you, which is to say absolutely and unconditionally. If you abide in my word it will be like I never left. Bye guys!

>Church: We are the keepers of the word of Christ! We are his anointed servants! In his name we have become spiritual beings of perfection and wisdom! He is the only way! All of the Earth must bow to him or perish in eternal damnation! We must be right because we make up like a third of the human population. And Christ told us that soon he will send the Archangel Michael to vanquish the Anti-Christ! You guys are gonna feel REAL fucking STUPID when that happens!