It happened. We won! We now live in the Age of Daddy! Leftists, of course — even those who aren’t still crying in the shower or looking for a razor blade — remain clueless about what it all signifies and how it happened.

After a few days of celebration, including receiving the Annie Taylor Award for bravery in journalism at David Horowitz’s Restoration Weekend, I’ve realized that many groups both within America and outside her borders need an explanation of how a Trump administration will change the game.

Luckily for everyone, including establishment conservatives who are in the same boat, I’m here to explain what Donald Trump’s election means, now that the dust has settled.

One thing is abundantly clear to most observers: Trump’s promises of change, and his promises to uproot the D.C establishment are much more likely to happen than Obama’s, which held as much water as his promise to have the most transparent administration of all time.

But what will change look like? For those stuck in the denial or anger stages of grief, the crystal balls must look extremely cloudy. Honestly, most pundits’ predictions were so wrong that they should get out of the divination business altogether.

Although President Donald Trump will touch the lives of all Americans during his term in office, there are some groups in particular who will experience karmic rewards. In no particular order, here are some of my favorites.

Protesters

In many cities such as Portland, Oregon, violent anti-Trump protests have sprung up. No one is sure to what extent these are organic protests as opposed to paid operations involving Soros-funded buses full of professional malcontents, but it’s not the most pressing question when your city is on fire.

Just when you think the Left has done everything in its power to drive typical American voters to the right, they reach into their bag of tricks and pull out a surprise. The kicker is that for the most part, these protesters don’t even vote.

In the short term, protests are very bad for the communities they affect, regardless of politics. The Hillary-supporting shop owners in Portland are going to have their shops trashed as well as the city’s lone closeted Trump-supporter, who dresses in plaid shirts, wears nose piercings, and talks angrily about legalizing weed. You know, to blend in.

These protests continue to expose the hypocrisy and detachment from reality that runs like a red thread through the liberal establishment in America. Every voice on the Left bleated about how they feared protests and riots by angry Donald Trump supporters if (when) he lost the election, yet it is the leftists themselves destroying property and blocking roads.

What Trump means to the protesters is on one hand the possibility of going straight with a real job, as he revitalizes the private sector of the country and makes it more financially perilous to take social justice degrees in college. Or, on the other hand, going to jail as his administration gives law enforcement its teeth back.

Imagine violent protests during a Trump administration with Sheriff David Clarke or Sheriff Joe Arpaio running the Justice Department. I need a tissue all of a sudden…

Hoaxers

I’ve seen video after video of Trump supporters being assaulted merely for attending one of Daddy’s rallies. And we are now in a post-election period in which liberals are faking hate crimes in an effort to paint Trump supporters negatively.

A Muslim woman at the University of Louisiana claimed Trump supporters attacked her. It didn’t happen.

A gay man from Canada named Chris Ball says he was also attacked, and posted graphic pictures with a bloody face as proof. It also didn’t happen, according to the police.

Do you have any idea how poor your hate crime hoax story has to be for an increasingly partisan Snopes.com to say it’s untrue?

As usual, I am ahead of the curve. I wrote a while back about the growing epidemic of fake hate crimes that has sprung up over the past 10 years — and opened the last leg of my Dangerous Faggot tour by asking why lesbians commit so many of them.

Hoaxers are only harming their own cause. While many are likely to avoid immediate punishment for making up stories in place of actual hate crimes by Trump supporters — which don’t exist — what the Trump presidency means for these imaginative fools is a wonderfully incriminating social media trail for potential employers.

Media cycles end, but the Internet never forgets.

Establishment Republicans

The GOP establishment fought against Trump almost until the end of the race… before trying to take his side in a maneuver so slippery and Machiavellian I am tempted to coin the word Cruzian.

It celebrated Daddy’s win not with a bang, but with a whimper. Senate leader Mitch McConnell came out the day after his victory to dispel the notion of the swamp being drained. Crucially, he says term limits for congress will never happen.

This is a sign that establishment Republicans plan to fight Trump on policies that are plainly good for America, but bad for them and their cronies. These Democrats-in-disguise might have bitten off more than they can chew, which they really ought to know by now.

Establishment Republicans have a clear future: tough primary elections against Trump-like opponents intent on draining the swamp. Paul Nehlen was the prototype for this movement. His battle with Paul Ryan was just a little ahead of its time.

In the future, incumbent establishment Republicans expecting to be unchallenged in primaries will find a battle for their political lives, especially if Donald Trump maintains enthusiasm with the base. Which of course he will.

The Democrat Party

The big losers of the general election are busy making their defeat even larger. It’s like they confuse losing elections for the national debt. All of their pathos is aimed at Trump instead of fixing the reasons they lost the election.

For one thing, the entire primary was rigged for crooked, spooky Hillary, who is unhealthy in every way. Not the least of her maladies is her disdain for common Americans.

Secondly, the Democrat Party followed Hillary’s lead in labelling everyone who didn’t agree with them racist, sexist, Islamophobic, and every other identity politic epithet they could think of.

Some of us knew this meant the “basket of deplorables” would grow to include essentially everybody in America, but many were shocked to eventually see themselves lumped in with the worst offenders, as decided by the extremists who run the Democrat party.

The Left, of course, has learned nothing. This week Steve Bannon is getting it in the neck with all manner of absurd allegations. They don’t seem to understand that the more they call us names, the more fabulous and powerful we become.

The era you could call someone a racist and get away with it is over. This is how they lost the election… but they still think that branding their opponents racist is the way to damage them. It’s pathetic!

Of course, the real problem with Democrat identity politics is how obviously untrue all their claims are. The 52 per cent of white women who voted for Donald Trump are not sexists. The 33 per cent of Hispanic males who voted for Trump are not racists.

And, whisper it, even the straight white males who voted for Trump aren’t racists or sexists either — just terrified of the Democrats and their plans for the country. Sounds like they’re in the majority.

Hillary Clinton was rejected soundly by America, but instead of changing course, the Democrats and their media allies are intent on telling Americans just how terrible they are for embracing Donald Trump.

Celebrities

Left-wing celebrities should take some notes from this election cycle and be a little less hysterical. And maybe, I dunno, fuck off out of public life unless they’re promoting another comic book adaptation.

Lena Dunham is the prime suspect here, but an honourable mention must also go to Miley Cyrus for being the first sobbing celeb to put her “cry-in” on the internet.

Meanwhile, Sir Patrick Stewart set phasers to hyperbole, arguing that Trump is “one of the worst things to happen in the last 100 years,” apparently forgetting individuals like Stalin, Mao and Hitler.

Apparently these deluded Hollywood Democrats are planning to keep us away from the voting booths next time with strained sides and jaw contusions.

As expected, most celebrities who vowed to leave the country are pulling those promises back. Some are saying it was a joke, but I’m personally surprised none are claiming they were hacked.

Also, why did all of them plan to move to Canada, New Zealand or Australia? I thought they hated capitalism and white Anglo-American patriarchy? They should surely move to a socialist paradise like Venezuela, or a vibrant, exotic country like Pakistan. Anywhere but a capitalist, English-speaking country!

It makes no sense!

The Left did all this, of course, by pandering to people like Dunham — who is electoral kryptonite. The more America sees of people like her, the less likely it is that the Democrats will ever win another election. Instead of saying, GET OFF OUR TV SCREENS YOU HIDEOUS MAN-HATING DYKE, liberal America worshipped Dunham, thrilled by her “edgy” hatred of white people, with absolutely predictable results.

One celebrity must be called out for extra-special attention: Joss Whedon, who is actually calling for an overthrow of the government:

This is simple: Trump cannot CANNOT be allowed a term in office. It's not about 2018. It's about RIGHT NOW — Joss Whedon (@joss) November 14, 2016

Joss is an amazing guy. No matter how often he gets knocked around by leftists, he comes back begging for more. I documented this in the past, but Joss remains the gift that keeps on giving.

So what is the future for anti-Trump celebrities? They will stay famous, and keep making millions. But as they become increasingly frantic in their opposition to Trump, they will wear out their welcome.

The media

The media threw everything they had at Donald Trump, and none of it worked. None of it! Every slimy tactic they’ve developed since the TV camera was invented and the first newspaper rolled off the printing presses was deployed, and it comprehensively failed.

Between Wikileaks’ exposure of collusion between the media and the Clinton campaign, and the shockingly biased coverage of Hillary’s race with Bernie and later with Trump, the media has been disgraced. You don’t have to believe me: read leftist Ken Silverstein’s brutal takedown of the entire industry, published shortly before the election.

Or browse the Twitter timeline of Michael Tracey, a former Vice reporter who refused to back Hillary after she defeated Bernie Sanders, and spent the rest of the election highlighting the media’s failure to fully grasp the Trump phenomenon.

Despite being one of the only lefties to get it right, Vice fired him shortly after the election — for being too mean to Lena Dunham!

The entire elite media dropped any pretense of objectivity to actively campaign against Trump, call him a liar, etc. — but they still whine — Michael Tracey (@mtracey) November 15, 2016

The media is already shocked to learn that the Trump administration will not coddle them, and access to the Trump White House will not be automatic for journalists who are practically on the DNC payroll.

Donald Trump can take his message directly to the people via rallies and addresses carried over social media. I’d call them updated versions of Roosevelt’s fireside chats, but a portion of my younger readership doesn’t even know what a radio is thanks to a Democrat-run education system.

Trump understands the media business better than the media themselves, except for us here at Breitbart, which is why he ran circles around them throughout the entire campaign. The dirty little secret the media doesn’t want to admit is that Trump generates such good content that they can’t help covering him even when they hate him.

By the way, I have the same effect. Look up some of the interviews done by outlets that loathe me. In true MILO fashion, I will link you to my current favorite.

The Deplorables

Trump means an American government that will serve the people, and be rooted in common sense. We’ve already learned that Daddy will restore the bust of Churchill to its rightful place in the Oval Office, fixing an early injustice by President Obama.

Trump will take a $1 salary as President, and in his first week as President-elect has Canada and Mexico agreeing to revisit NAFTA and Russia agreeing to not stage a nuclear war. Not bad for a first week on the job.

If Donald Trump stays true to his campaign promises, and all evidence points to him doing so, his basket of deplorables has the opportunity to leave a lasting mark on America not only in its governmental institutions like the supreme court, but also culturally.

Conservative students and free-speech activists will no longer suffer recriminations on American campuses if emboldened Trump supporters continue to push beyond the presidency and into culture.

What Trump means for us is that we’ve won the first battle. At a minimum, he’s a necessary course correction from the excesses of the social justice left. At most, he’s the saviour of the First and Second Amendments, protector of the Supreme Court and champion of the little guy. In other words: just what America needed.

And the Left can pull out its hair, stomp its feet and throw out bogus allegations of racism, sexism and whatever else as long as it likes. The forces of good have prevailed.

Follow Milo Yiannopoulos (@Nero) on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. Hear him every Friday on The Milo Yiannopoulos Show. Write to Milo at milo@breitbart.com.