Some men experience premature ejaculation. I recognize that this situation can be frustrating and upsetting, and I’m sorry for any man who has suffered because of this condition.

However, I’m personally not bothered when a man ejaculates prematurely. I’ve never belittled a man who experienced premature ejaculation, and I’ve never complained. In fact, in many ways, I prefer it.

A lot of it has to do with my own hangups and sexual insecurities. When a man has tremendous stamina and staying power, I worry that he is never going to climax. I wonder about what it means. What does it say about me? Am I doing something incorrectly?

If a man doesn’t reach orgasm quickly, then I assume something is wrong with me. I assume that I am not enough — good enough, sexy enough, skilled enough — to make it happen.

Any sex act lasting more than a couple of minutes gives me anxiety (with the exception of receiving oral sex because receiving oral sex has to do with my orgasm, not my male partner’s orgasm).

All I think about while performing oral sex is whether or not my efforts will be adequate to bring my partner to climax — and, if so, how soon? My self-esteem plummets with every tick, tick, tick of the clock when I’m waiting for a man to climax, and nothing he says or does can reassure me that everything is fine.

On the other hand, if a man ejaculates prematurely, it takes all the pressure and expectation of performing out of my hands. It makes me feel like I’ve done my duty, and I’ve been successful.

Realistically, I know that’s not what it means at all, but in the heat of the moment — it’s such a relief.