I have developed some ideas about the importance of what the male’s profession is in the context of dating. Now I might be wrong, but hear me out on this and feel free to leave comments below if you agree or disagree.

It is safe to say that the prevailing belief out there is that women want to date men in powerful professions. Celebrities, politicians, athletes, etc. And if you stock shelves in Walmart, you’re fucked. And if you’re a computer programmer, you’re just a nerd and would be lucky to meet a girl who’s into you.

First things first. If you’re a celebrity, politician, or professional athlete, it is definitely likely that you’ll have your pick of the litter when it comes to women. Money and power is sexy, no doubt, and there will always be a percentage of women who only want to go after those types of men. But I strongly believe that this is mostly unimportant. What your profession is pales in comparison to the aura and energy about you and how the girl feels while she is with you.

How often do you look at some guy and are like, “This guy is nothing. He is a nobody. How can he get a girl like that?” I used to think this back in the day. Not anymore. It has more to do with confidence and strength in who you are than what you do for a living.

And this leads me to the point of this post. Let’s look at George Costanza from Seinfeld. What profession did he always claim to be when he wanted to impress girls? An architect. You see this all the time in TV shows and movies. A guy wants to impress a girl and he looks down on his own job so he thinks he has to say something that is perceptibly better than what he currently does. The fool tries to seem rich and powerful by coming up with some bullshit like a doctor or lawyer or something…

But ultimately this fails because his demeanor, body language, and tone is not consistent with who he says he is. The girl’s bullshit sensor detects this and he blows himself out. If he is not confident in who he is and what he does, then how can he pull anything off?

Besides it reeks of desperation. A huge portion of this blog is dedicated to the idea that you do not prove yourself to the girl, ever. You do not need to justify anything. You are who you are and you give 0 fucks. Take it or leave it attitude.

So when a girl asks what you do for a living, the typical foolish guy will say he is something better than he is and it will blow up in his face.

What do I do instead? The opposite. I say something ludicrous and silly. In real life I’m a computer programmer, but I’ll say:

Male stripper

Professional video game player

Alcohol Prohibitionist

“I make dreams come true” (my personal favorite)

All of these garner laughs and inevitable conversation. 95% of the time they know you’re joking, but will go along with the joke anyway and ask you questions about your professional video game career. Then I fall back on my improv skills and make up back stories on the spot. She will play along with you and this is some really excellent flirting.

This does a few things — first, you’re not like all the other guys who give the standard boring answer. Second, you’re not trying to prove to her that you are good enough to date her. Instead she will think, “damn, who is this guy who is not trying to impress me?” and she will be intrigued.

The point of this is to generate that intrigue. You are not like every other guy. You can’t be fazed by her and you turned a seemingly innocuous and mundane question into a little fun. It shows that you don’t take yourself so seriously and that they can be comfortable being around you.

Okay, now don’t over do this. After a few minutes of harmless flirting you tell her what you really do for a living. No bullshit. Be straight up with who you are. Honesty is key. After all, you are trying to get to know each other. futue_te_ipsum in the forum makes a good point. When you do ultimately tell her what your profession is:

have some enthusiasm about it. tell her why it’s so exciting to you, or why you get enjoyment out of it, or how it helps people.

And so you finally answered the question. What about her? HokumGelpTexas in the forum has this to say about it:

I never ask what the girl does for a job. She’s out to have a good time, not think about work. If she wants to talk about it, let her bring it up.

Valid, but sometimes it is appropriate to ask someone (girl or guy) what they do. But instead of asking them what their job or profession is, it is best to say:

How do you spend most of your time?

It demonstrates social awareness. What if they just got laid off? What if they don’t want to talk about their job at all. It leaves the window open to go in many different directions. Most of the time though, they’ll respond with “Work. I am a [insert job here]”

Now go out and have some fun.

Cheers.