The Threesome Tollbooth is not, as I initially thought, smutty fanfiction about the children's fantasy adventure novel The Phantom Tollbooth, though as a youth I fully shipped Tock the Watchdog and the lady who was obsessed with silence. It is, however, a SUPER EXCLUSIVE TOP SECRET Bushwick bar (so SUPER EXCLUSIVE TOP SECRET, in fact, that it garnered write-ups in both The New Yorker and the New York Times this week) that fits only a bartender and two guests, so you can "own the space," per bar creator/artist N.D. Austin. Note that the space-owning comes at a steep price—it costs $100-$120 per person, per hour, to visit, but you do get to tell your friends you got drunk in a supply closet.

Austin, who famously transformed a Chelsea water tower into a "speakeasy" back in 2013, has teamed up with lexicographer Jesse Sheidlower to bring this mysterious little drinking hole to life. Austin told The New Yorker the idea for the bar was birthed after an acquaintance commissioned him to help him win back his estranged wife, which he did by creating a teeny pop-up bar inside an abandoned tollbooth and inviting just the two of them to drink inside it.

A bit more coverage of my cocktail venture, Threesome Tollbooth, this time in the @nytimes: https://t.co/8TkapxQE3J — Jesse Sheidlower (@jessesheidlower) October 13, 2017

The tollbooth bar did manage to get the couple back together, and its success inspired Austin to make something a little more permanent. About six months ago, he and Sheidlower opened the Threesome Tollbooth—which is, in fact, Phantom Tollbooth-themed, though the mechanics of this are shrouded in secrecy, as is the bar's address. It's become popular via word of mouth (with celebrities!) and Austin is considering making it a permanent venture. "What I will say is that this is possibly going to work as a business and not just, like, a fun project," he said.

How it works, according to the lucky few who've gotten to check the space out, is this: you make a reservation online, Austin emails you the address and he or Sheidlower will meet you and escort you into the space. Then, you're invited to sip five or six mini-cocktails, whipped up with creative spirits and served in antique glassware. It's an intimate experience not for the anthropophobic, but it sounds like a baller date move, should you have the cash. I do not, unfortunately, so tonight I will drink in The Real Most Exclusive Bar In New York, i.e. my kitchen. None of you are invited.