SHE loves pretty pink dresses, her collection of bears, decorating her jewellery with stick-on "bling" and listening to the band One Direction.

But "Jane", nine, was born a boy and until this year she had been going to her southeast Queensland primary school as a boy.

"Michael" would misbehave, run out of classes, kick teachers and was repeatedly getting suspended and put into special education classes.

But since starting back at the same school this year as a girl, Jane's grades have improved and she has been the happiest her family has ever seen her - except for one thing.

The school, while accepting Jane's gender transition, said she was not allowed to use the girls' toilet like all her female classmates and she was made to use a toilet for the disabled.

Now her mother is fighting for Jane's rights to be treated as a girl and is prepared to go all the way to the Anti-Discrimination Commission to argue for Jane to be allowed to use the girls' toilets at school.

"She's my girl," the mother says. "I want her to be able to go to the girls' toilets, like all the other girls."

In the interests of protecting the girl and her future right to privacy, The Sunday Mail has chosen not to reveal the girl's real name or the school she attends.

Jane is a pretty, slender child with long hair tinted dark pink, who wears tiny silver anchor earrings and is much more "girly" than her mother ever was.

When asked how long she has known she is a girl she says: "Since I was born."

While shy about talking about being a girl, the nine-year-old is very clear about what she wants.

"All my friends go to the normal girls' toilet and I have to go to the disabled one," Jane says.

"It's not fair. People make fun that I go to those toilets."

The single mother of four children, aged from 15 to four, only found out her third boy was different when at the age of four Michael tried to cut off his penis and told his Mum he wanted to be a girl.

Jane has Asperger's syndrome, a form of mild autism, and the mother initially thought her child's behaviour was part of that or, like playing with dolls, just a phase.

But two and a half years ago, after Michael's behaviour became worse at school, the mother asked what she could do to help and her child told her: "I want to be a girl. I want my room to have girl stuff".

"I said okay and the next day I went shopping and got her girl stuff and she chose a girl's name," the mother said.

For the next two years she was "Jane" at home, where she was allowed to wear dresses, paint her nails and generally be "herself", but at school she was still "Michael".

The mother said Jane would self-harm by banging her head against a wall if she made her go out dressed as Michael on weekends. She misbehaved at school so she would be sent home, where she could be Jane.

"Late last year she said she wanted to go to school as a girl," the mother said.

She told the school she was legally changing Michael's name to a girl's name and she wanted her to start the 2013 school year as "Jane".

The school insisted on the mother signing an agreement that Jane would only use the disabled toilets, comply with the girls' dress code and not compete in girls' netball or swimming teams.

She also was told if she went on a school camp she could not sleep in the same area as the girls.

At the start of the school year the other Year 4 children were told by their teacher that the boy they knew as "Michael" was now "Jane".

Her girl's name is now on her birth certificate, Medicare card, Centrelink forms and her bank account.

At home, where she lives with her mother, two brothers and a younger sister, Jane loves trying on lipstick, dressing up and playing with her best friend, the little girl next door, in the cubbyhouse her Dad built.

It is hard to see any boy in this child, who happily shows off her bears, pretty dresses, pink umbrella and jewellery and hair bands in her girly bedroom. There are no family photos of Michael dressed in blue baby clothes, only yellow or white outfits.

There is perhaps only one clue to the past, when she opens the "secret drawer" at the end of the bed and reveals a plastic toy gun inside.

Jane's father, 55, who lives away from his daughter but is still involved in her life, says he has seen a huge change in Jane's self-esteem and happiness since she has been allowed to be a girl.

Two years ago he bought her first dress, a ballerina-style outfit with a hot pink and orange tulle skirt.

"She picked the fluffiest one there was, one she could pirouette in," the father said. "The smile on her face said a million words."

Jane admits she was "scared" when she started out at school this year as a girl, but her classmates, teachers and the school made no fuss and there have been only two episodes of minor bullying.

"I was terrified, but when I picked her up and asked her how her first day of school was she said 'awesome'," the mother said. "I'm extremely proud of her. She's so brave."

Jane's whole attitude towards school has changed; she has not been suspended once this year, she has made friends and her parents are pleased to finally see their bright child doing so well.

But during the first term, after Jane followed her girlfriends into the girls' toilets to wash her hands, there was a complaint by a teacher and it was reinforced that Jane had to use the disabled toilets.

Now the child tries to avoid using the school toilets at all.

On Thursday, after the mother told the school she was considering making a gender identity discrimination complaint, the school renamed the disabled toilet "unisex" and told other children they could use it.

"That's a start, but it's not enough. She's not disabled. She's just a girl," her mother says. "As a parent I have to fight for her."

Later this year the mother will go to the Family Court for an order allowing Jane to be given puberty-blocking drugs and when she turns 18 she may start female hormone treatment.

There are moments when it gets all a bit too much for this mother.

"I realise I've lost my son," she said.

"But now I think to myself, I've got two boys and two girls. They're all good kids. How lucky am I?"