Since I just got over the hangover from drinking enough fictional cocktails to kill a herd of moose, it makes perfect sense to do it again. Recovery is the body's way of asking you, "Is that all you got, pussy?"

Now, it would have been easy for me to learn from my mistakes and choose drinks that don't look threatening and won't tear up my insides. But I'm a man of the people. And the people insist that making and testing fictional cocktails isn't entertaining unless an ambulance is in my immediate future. So I combed through Facebook, Twitter, and the comments section of my last article and found some suggestions for some really wretched-looking garbage drinks.

However, before you ask: No, I didn't drink a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster from The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. Not for lack of trying, but when Douglas Adams invented that cocktail, he had an entire universe to play with. Where the hell am I supposed to get Arcturan Mega-gin? I live in a place where it's illegal to sell alcohol in the grocery store, so we have two separate stores. My options are limited to what I can find around the house. That being said, the drink's effects are described as "similar to having your brains smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick." I had a lemon and a gold bracelet lying around, so I figured I'd give it a whirl.

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We call this "ingenuity."

And it went great!