Lincoln Chafee, a gentle, smiling bird you’d rather not be killing for dinner but you have to, that’s nature, has raised just over $15,000 for his Democratic presidential campaign. Of that sum, $4,100 came from his own wallet, while $8,300 was collected from a selection of major donors as numerous as toes on your feet, or stars in a cluster of 10 stars.


I want to cry.

NPR interviewed three of the 10 itemized donors, who each willingly parted with at least $200 to support a campaign averaging one-tenth of 1 percent in the latest Democratic primary polls. Two of them are Chafee’s friends, and one of them just likes his vibe.


Patrick Flinn, an attorney in Atlanta, told NPR “he has just a really positive approach to life,” which seems definitely true! “He looks like someone who gets up every morning and is just happy to be there.” Flinn added: “He can accomplish something valuable, in my view, by staying in the race and by expressing himself in the race in his unique way.”

This man is not wrong. I, too, would like Lincoln Chafee to stay in the race and continue expressing his daffy positivity, smiling expectantly at the world like he’s baked us a muffin and very much hopes we’ll enjoy it.

Dr. John O’Shea, a pediatrician in Atlanta and another donor, is a friend of the Chafee family. “I sort of feel like I need to support him,” he told NPR. Same! The third donor interviewed is Ronald Lee Fleming of Cambridge, Mass., another friend of Chafee, who threw in a “If Linc doesn’t make it—and I don’t sense that he has a very good chance—” which really feels like a stake to the heart.

If you are like me, and now feel emotionally obligated to donate to Lincoln Chafee’s campaign, follow this link now (while his campaign website still exists).


Update: This post has been altered to reflect a change in the NPR article cited, which originally stated that only 10 people donated to Lincoln Chafee’s campaign. In fact, only 10 people donated over $200. It’s possible that 15 or even 20 people donated smaller amounts. There could be 100 Lincoln Chafee donors out there, we just don’t know.

Contact the author at ellie@jezebel.com .