It Started With a Kiss

Love is like a piece of chocolate. It’s sweet and mesmerizing, but eventually, it melts and disappears.

“Hey Alice! Wanna Kiss?” asked a boy with a radiant smile.

I quickly backed away as he started to lean towards me.

Who is this psycho? Oh God, hopefully he isn’t going to actually kiss me or something!

I turned my head to the opposite direction and closed my eyes tightly so that his lips wouldn’t touch mine. He grabbed my hand and dropped a petite, tear-drop shaped object wrapped in foil. I examined the writing on the tag that was sticking out of the foreign delicacy and read aloud the word, “Kisses.”

“You’ve never heard of it?” he said in astonishment, “It’s the best chocolate in the world! Why don’t you give it a try?”

I opened the wrapper and nibbled on the top of the chocolate. A sweet, heavenly sensation burst into my mouth. The cocoa and milk delighted my taste buds. My muscles loosened and I felt a sense of warmth flowing through my body.

“Isn’t it amazing? Oh! By the way, I’m Logan! Hey, wanna play?” he said excitedly.

I shyly nodded. My voice was shaky as I replied, “O-okay.”

That was the day I made my first friend.

My family and I moved to a suburban area in California due to my parents’ work. I entered second grade during the middle of the school year. I was too sheepish to approach any of my classmates so during recess time, I would often sit alone at the benches.

We ended up spending all of our time together. The teacher even assigned us to be seat partners. We constantly teased each other. He sometimes called me funny names like ‘monkey’ or ‘booger’ or laughed when I got hurt. I was somewhat of a sadist and forced Logan to do all of my homework, worksheets, and tests and played tricks on him to see his reaction.

Over time, I started to develop a weird feeling whenever I was with him. My chest felt tight and an overwhelming, fluttering pain made it difficult to breathe. I felt my stomach doing summersaults. It was hard to stare directly into his deep dark, brown eyes. My cheeks blushed to a luscious, cherry blossom pink whenever I was too close to him.

What is this? Why can’t I stop this feeling? Why is my heart racing?

Logan and I were inseparable. We were best friends. We played together. Sang together. Ate together. We relied on each other. He was the peanut butter to my jelly. The salt to my pepper. The Yin to my Yang.

Sadly, these good times did not last forever. I moved to a different school in a different district two years later. I cried. Before I left, we hugged each other. Logan’s embrace. Logan’s scent. Logan’s hair. Logan. The person I wouldn’t be able to see anymore. He grabbed my hand, and once again dropped a petite, tear-drop shaped object wrapped in foil. A Kiss.

“I’m gonna miss you Alice. Don’t have too much fun without me!” he chuckled.

“Yeah. I won’t,” I replied unenthusiastically.

Why does it have to end like this? There was so much I wanted to do with him. So many things. So little time.

Each and every second with Logan was a valuable treasure that I cherished and preserved in my heart.

There was not a single day where he wasn’t on my mind. Sometimes I would drift on cloud nine thinking about what it would be like if he were beside me at that moment of time. Flashbacks occasionally played in my brain like a movie. I pictured us dancing to the Power Rangers theme song or catching butterflies in the field – just like before.

I stared at the empty desk beside mine in despair.

I wish you were here. With me. Just the two of us.

I played with the Kiss he had given me – tossing it up and down. I used it as a good luck charm to get me through the day. I took a deep, long sigh. My chest started to hurt and my eyes started to get teary.

“Logan, if only you could be here with me,” I murmured.

And then it hit me.

Why didn’t I realize this before?

I loved Logan.

I started middle school in seventh grade. I was apprehensive – transitioning from elementary to middle school was a big leap that I was not ready for. The campus was like a labyrinth; which did not coincide with my terrible sense of direction. There were so many intricate pathways and halls. I held onto the Kiss with my fist gently surrounding it. While I was walking, trying to find my class, I caught a glimpse of a familiar face.

Logan? Was that Logan?!

No way! That’s impossible! There’s no way that could be him.

If it was, I wouldn’t know what to do or how I would approach him!

When I finally found my first period class, the memories and emotions suddenly came back. I felt Cupid’s arrow pierce me in the heart. Words could not express the feelings I had stirred up at that moment. The chains that bounded and locked these feelings were removed. It was him. It was Logan.

My feet uncontrollably walked up to him. We looked at each other in the eye. My face started to get hot and I felt the summersaults coming back.

“Hey, long time no see,” he smiled.

“Y-yeah, I can’t believe we bumped into each other again,” I shyly replied.

Tall. Husky voice. Muscular. He definitely seemed more mature, but his scent, dark brown eyes, and cute smile were still the same.

“Well, see you around,” he said as he started to walk away.

“Oh, ok! Bye then!” I exclaimed as I watched the back of his figure disappear in the crowd.

There was something different about him. The fire in his eyes and the connection I used to feel with him wasn’t there.

That’s it? What was that?

I brushed it aside and thought nothing of it.

Our relationship went downhill from there. I wasn’t the only girl in the picture anymore.

She was my best friend – the ideal girl. A smile that melt any heart. Beautiful eyes that glistened from a distance. A sunny personality that everyone admired. Someone Logan would fall in love with. Someone Logan eventually dates.

She knew I loved him. Yet, that would not stop her from seducing him. She had Logan wrapped around her fingers.

He handed her a petite, tear-drop shaped object wrapped in foil.

No way. Did he just give her a…

I felt stiff. That was supposed to be between me and him – a token symbolizing us.

Let’s face it. The bond I built with him a couple years ago isn’t there anymore. I just have to move on.

I clenched onto the piece of chocolate. The Kiss. The only thing that kept me going. A cascade of tears shimmered down my moist, swollen face. A sea of memories filled with pain and sorrow arose. My hands started to quiver. The sweet and mesmerizing feeling shattered into many bits and pieces.

I dropped the Kiss from my hand onto the floor. There was a pause. A sense of serenity.

I’m done. There’s nothing else to it. Goodbye, first love.