Worship Leader Wishes God Would Have Just Left Us Entire Book Of Worship Songs

ASTORIA, OR—While attending a worship leaders’ conference Tuesday, local worship leader Jake “Freebird” Watson lamented that God didn’t just leave the churches of the world a whole book of worship songs to employ in corporate worship.

Watson stated that if he had been in charge, he’d definitely have inspired an entire book of praise and worship songs expressing a wide range of emotions and declaring various truths about God.

“I’m not saying we’d have to sing them all the time, but it would have given us a whole bunch of songs to draw from,” Watson told another worship leader attending the conference as both sipped iced macchiatos in between sessions. “He could have put it right in the middle of the Bible for easy access.”

“The songbook wouldn’t have to be exhaustive, either—just maybe slap like 150 tunes or so in there and call it a day,” he added, adjusting his beanie.

The worship leader claimed such a book would have helped worship leaders and music ministers add more accurate theology and passionate, inspired singing to the Lord, and further would have prevented worship leaders from playing so many songs written by all the borderline-heretical worship bands out there.

“I’m not questioning God’s wisdom—just saying I definitely would have left a bunch of worship songs for the people to sing,” he concluded.

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