Many Happy Returns

So, Greg came around the other day. He had a load of stuff that had belonged to Sherlock. Just tat really. Nothing that even gets close to showing who or what he was. Stuff can't do that. Not physical stuff anyway. We've all got belongings and photos and furniture and books and... they're not who we are. They're just things we've accumulated over the years. They mean nothing.

But then there was this DVD. It was a video of Sherlock recording a message for my birthday dinner. A bunch of us went to this restaurant in Soho. It was great, actually. Everyone was there. Mike, Harry, Greg, Mrs Hudson, the usual suspects. Except Sherlock. He didn't come because he was 'busy'. He wasn't busy, he just... sometimes he struggled to fit in. He couldn't switch off, couldn't relax. He just struggled with people, I think. Yet the video... it showed the other side to him. He was rude, yeah. Arrogant. Apparently lacking in anything resembling empathy. But I'd forgotten just how funny he could be. He was so charming. So... human. It's bizarre because most people would say he was the most inhuman person they'd ever met. But he wasn't. He was everything a good person should be. He'd just often say what he was thinking rather than lying to protect our feelings. Maybe we should all be more like that? Maybe we should all be more honest? Although maybe it was a good thing he didn't come to that birthday dinner...

And now it's time for me to be honest. I'm meant to be keeping this blog to remind me of the good times. I know it's meant to be healthy but what's the point? I need to properly move on. I need to put it all behind me and move on.

And I'm so tired of deleting comments from people who don't believe me. Who think all this is a lie. I know it was real. There are so many people out there who know that all this was real. They believed in Sherlock.

And I've found someone. So I should concentrate on that.

So this'll be my last blog.

Sherlock, you bastard, wherever you are. Cheers.

John.

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