This is the new Mercedes G-Class you’ve been waiting for. The all-new, 21st Century G-Class subjected to the maniacal desires of AMG. It’s the new G63, people. And it’s very, very brawny.

Behind a face squarer than David Coulthard’s lives the familiar 4.0-litre bi-turbo AMG V8. In days gone by, AMG detuned its V8s for service in the G-Class, because its Bronze Age chassis couldn’t cope with the potency of modern German muscle. But this, despite looking just as archaic as the G always has, is an all-new G on an all-new platform. And it can handle the power.

So, the new G63 develops 577bhp. That’s an identical power output to what you find in the AMG GT R. Forty per cent of that arrives at the front wheels, and sixty per cent is sent to the back (past two pairs of side-exit exhaust along the way), via a nine-speed automatic gearbox.

As a result, this shipping container with headlights is properly fast. AMG has clocked it from 0-62mph in 4.5 seconds – that’s 0.9 seconds quicker than the old G63 – and it’ll bully oncoming air all the way to 136mph. Select the AMG Driver Package (why wouldn’t you?) and it’ll romp on to 149mph.

Satisfied with the speed achieved by a block of flats with door mirrors, AMG has set about making its luxury monster truck more efficient, we kid you not. Under light throttle openings – as if any G63 owners know what they are – the V8 shuts down four of its cylinders, helping claimed fuel consumption of 21.4mpg, and 299 CO2s per km. Those are whopping improvements of 1 mile-per-gallon and 23g/km.

Mercedes has also carried over its new G-Class off-road innovations to the G63. New transfer case gear ratios and intelligent diffs are on board so that, should, say, a breakfast radio DJ attempt an off-piste excursion, the G63 won’t need towing out by a Land Rover. Oh, the shame.

Meanwhile, the suspension is tougher, less roly-poly, and offers three levels of stiffness via a button. And if that doesn’t obliterate the ride quality, then there are options of 21 or 22-inch wheels which ought to do the trick.

No word on prices yet, but a retro-styled ex-military 4x4 wearing side-exit exhausts and a grille you could griddle elk on is hardly down the rational end of the purchase scale, we’d wager. And that’s why every dream garage ought to have one.