Everyone get your markers out: It's once again time to weed through your Facebook feed to furiously black out yet another week's worth of sloppy and gullible news reporting. Better use dry erase, because this bullshit avalanche show no signs of stopping, and monitors are kind of expensive.

4 No, Yellowstone Animals Aren't Escaping from a Supervolcano

In a cruel twist of fate, it appears that the end times will come in the form of a terrible Roland Emmerich action sequence. How do we know that? Because the animals are telling us:

fox2now.com

rt.com

Apparently volcanoes spew bullshit instead of lava now.

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According to dozens of local and international sources, the long overdue supervolcano under Yellowstone Park is about to rabbit-punch the entire United States. The proof? A series of quakes, followed by a viral video on YouTube of a herd of bison getting the fuck out of Dodge.