By Kevin John Braid

Police have been harassing known anti-racist and anti-fascist protestors ahead of US President Donald Trump’s visit to Portsmouth for the 75th anniversary of D Day.

The authorities are shitting themselves the orange monstrosity might get covered in milkshake.

In one known instance, they turned up unannounced to an activist’s house and asked them if they had any intelligence on planned activities. They filmed the activist throughout the 15-minute house call. This is menacing and worrying for the network, but when the President’s visit to Portsmouth is considered, unsurprising.

Police embarrassment

As milkshaking for the far right supporting US President has got to be the greatest target in the world today for the new found trend of throwing luscious frothy flavoured milkshake over fascists. It would also be humiliating for the law enforcement authorities should a McDonalds special get through the cordon sanitaire around the President of the United States of America.

It is believed that the entire Trump family are on their way too. Again, coating a £20,000 haute couture dress of a spoilt brat so beautiful her own dad wishes to fuck would be quite an achievement.

Operational security

Here are some things to jog your memory:

Facebook Messenger is not secure. GCHQ and the US National Security Agency will be crawling over every message. WhatsApp is good for short messages as it is secure enough that a lot of computer energy needs using to crack it. Telegram is even better and Threema is as tight as a nun’s cunt. Emails should be encrypted. A free service offering up to 256 bit encryption can be found at protonmail.com. That is almost certainly nearly impossible to crack (if at all) unless the recipient is not encrypted. Always encrypt! Avoid landline calls. Mobile where possible. Keep it to yourself where possible. The authorities fear lone wolves more than any group.

A final thing to remember is that there will be armed members of UK security services and knowing how supine the UK government is to the US government, their Secret Service security detail will be armed too. While it would be undeniably beautiful to make a certain blond toupe on top of the Orange Hitler white and sticky, you could be full of lead before it lands on him. We also have some of the shittiest extradition laws in the world, so if not shot you might get a long visit to the USA to stay in a cage.

That said, wouldn’t it be fun? Good luck folks.

Alternatively, if you can’t make it to Dorset to get through the mass security to milkshake Donald Trump, then there’s a massive anti-Trump rally in London for his three day State visit that starts on June 3rd. Where’s Boris Johnson’s £300k water cannons when you need them?

He’s going to meet the Queen, Prince Harry and Prince Charles, so perhaps one of our taxpayer-funded aristocrats will do the job for us and give Trump a traditional British milknshaking of a fascist.

Kevin John Braid is an artist, writer and activist who was born in Scotland, grew up in the U.S.A. (California and Arizona), lived in England for a few years, and now lives in Poland. He has spent many years fighting against marijuana prohibition, and is a lover of books, cooking and Nietzsche.