a/n: i just wanna say, last chapter's responses were AMAZING. well, just like every other chapters, as well! and for the guest who left those very long reviews for me, thank you so much. you really understood these characters - especially, Meg! the one person who i honestly thought people would be hating, but there seems to be a lot of love for her. i agree, her intentions are good... just the way she tries to bring that out... not so good. anyway, thank you everyone!

That evening was supposed to be fun. Anna was going to learn about how she felt, she was going to learn about Meg, most of all. Yet, she still couldn't figure it out.

No, the evening was fun - or, at least, they tried to make it that way without the trouble of discussing… whatever they needed to discuss. Avoidance. Yes… Anna had been playing a game of avoidance, of hurt, of her fear of loving someone else, for a long time. Was it inescapable now? Now that she was spending her time with someone else?

"Anna, look!"

Probably. The woman didn't even get to react when Meg dragged her by the wrist to a booth with little buckets of water balloons and moving plastic fishes behind it. Anna raised an eyebrow as she quietly watched Meg pay five dollars and turn back to her.

"Want to see me try getting you a goldfish?"

Anna scoffed, crossing her arms. "Am I a child?"

The cherry-haired woman winked before picking up a yellow water balloon. "With you sulking like that, you might as well be."

She huffed. Rude.

"And here we go -" The water balloon missed by a few centimeters, and after splattered everywhere. "Second times the charm." It missed again. "Aw, come on!"

"Three more tries."

Meg playfully glared at the redhead, and Anna slowly came up next to her. For a moment, Anna felt more than comfortable with her presence. It was warm - perhaps, it was the weather… but how did it explain the little skips of her heartbeat? Those perfect brown eyes staring back at her… no, she didn't deserve it, and she didn't deserve to smile at such angelic expression, but Meg smiled anyway. Why am I this selfish?

"Well, I'd like to see you try, missy." The woman offered her a balloon.

Slightly hesitant, Anna took the balloon and stood where Meg had stood. "You know, you just gotta get the timing right." She smirked, watching the next little plastic cartoon fish swim closer in front of her, and -

Splat.

Turning around, Anna immediately puffed her chest and raised her eyebrows up. The sense of pride she felt when she noticed Meg's roll of her eyes… well, it was indescribable. Honestly, she hadn't had that much fun in a while - not with anybody else, of course.

In truth, if Meg wasn't here… Anna would still be at home moping around - drinking, and wondering… what she had done wrong for her family. No, she didn't do anything wrong… at least, that was what she thought. She had always wanted what's best for them, for her wife. And her best probably wasn't Elsa's best.

"See?" Anna nodded at the booth.

"Yeah, yeah, gamer girl." Meg nodded at the owner who gave her a plastic box filled with water and a beautiful goldfish. "Congrats, you earned this."

Anna did nothing but stare, intrigued… yet, well, this feeling inside... she felt pity. But it couldn't be when she knew Meg had these feelings for her. And, perhaps, she couldn't differentiate pity with love anymore.

Slowly, unbeknownst to herself, she took the gift with a smile. That should be polite. "Thanks."

"You know… I thought if I'd come here to see you, I thought I could at least take your mind off Elsa."

"What?" Anna blinked. Had she been staring at the ground this whole time? But for what? Shame? These past eight years had been shameful. Embarrassing. She winced to herself, unable to shake Meg's pitiful eyes away, and neither could she stop looking when she did. "I'm not…"

Meg placed a hand on her hip. "Yeah, you can say you're not thinking about her this entire time, but that face right there," she flicked a finger against Anna's forehead, "says otherwise, and I trust that better than your words, silly."

Can't deny it now, can you, Anna? She rubbed a hand against her forehead, and for the first time, she was pouting at Meg. Not a day went by that Anna had ever disagreed with Meg - and perhaps, that night that they had spent together… well, Anna certainly didn't say no. And she wished sometimes… Meg would say something more than just wrong… so that Anna wouldn't see her as such perfection. Flawed perfection, if that even exists.

"Sorry…" Anna mumbled.

Instead of roaring back as Anna would have expected, Meg's expression softened and she grabbed the woman's wrist. "I know I should give you some slack. It's been hard, right?"

Ouch. She could barely breathe, and those words hit her chest like bricks. How could one question… one soft voice hurt so much? But… Meg understood her? She understood her every thought, and nobody had never understood her without Anna explaining how she felt.

Instead of crying like a normal person would, Anna just sighed in defeat, her head dropped low. Being with a woman that understood how she felt, had the heart to listen to her, to endure her… comforted her. And that comfort was strange, unfamiliar… and somehow, it hurt?

But It shouldn't hurt so much… And perhaps, she was hiding from this pain of their marriage for so long, she had forgotten what pain felt like.

She took a deep breath and shook her head. I've burdened her enough. "Hard, yeah… but… nothing I haven't dealt with, you know?"

Meg chuckled, but deep down, Anna knew that woman realized it wasn't true at all. "Come on, tonight's a beautiful night. I want to show you something."

Anna didn't say another word, having allowed being dragged by Meg to wherever they were going. Anything… just anything and being anywhere would do good to make Anna feel better. To make sure she forget all the heartache she had been burying inside her for so long.

And when Meg's hand slipped down to her own… she was reminded of how Elsa used to hold her like this. With such warmth. With such gentleness. Her own breath had been taken away, and for once, she wished it wouldn't be this way - that she wouldn't feel such a way. This isn't the woman… this isn't her.

But somehow, she returned the grasp. She needed this. She wanted this. And I have a family -

"Isn't this beautiful?"

Anna blinked, and her daze was immediately broken by the city's light down below the grassy hill where they stood. Her eyes widened, and it almost seemed way too gorgeous.

The light that glistened through the streets danced beautifully the evening, and the low echo of the festival - where the crowd was enjoying all these fun little activities - and traffic continued to sound. The infinitely blanket of stars above, accompanied by a beautiful moon, spanned through the sky. The spring, gentle wind riding in the sky caressed Anna's face but the only thing she felt was the warmth of Meg's hand holding hers. Tugging her down gently. The rustling of leaves upon the trees was music to Anna's ears, and nothing could provide her heart more rest than that. The deep breath she took was filled with wonderful grassy scent was almost drugs to her, and it calmed her… it soothed her heart.

"Sit."

Anna turned to the gentle voice urging her with one word. And though the sky was dark, she could clearly see the light in Meg's eyes. So she sat. Just like her eyes… Meg's voice was also hypnotizing Anna.

The brunette took a deep breath, stretching her legs out and planting both hands on the grass. "You know… this isn't so bad." Her eyes were watching all the stars that gleamed in the sky, and those that were riding down the streets. The soft muffle of happy giggles and voices from other people didn't sound as good as hearing those couple of words. Ah, this really is peaceful.

She felt content, having to just sit here and watch the beauty of the city surrounding her. Anna gazed down at her hands, her two fingers playing with the ring on her left hand. For some reason… the light reflected on the ring glistened less. It felt less, even.

"It's beautiful…" Anna mumbled. Even her voice sounded weak and distracted.

"I wanted to bring you here because it's always lifted my heart from any heavy thoughts and feelings. I wish it'd do the same for you."

"I know what you're trying to do, Meg -"

"I wanted to make things easier for you."

How? She realized Meg was watching her, but if she had one ounce of care in the world, Anna would have looked at her. She didn't. Meg could look at her strangely all she wanted. For a moment, Anna didn't say anything. It was hard to… argue. She continued to twirl the ring around to ease her own heart. Was it helping? Not at all… but, perhaps, because it was the only thing she was familiar with. It was the only thing that gave her fond memories.

"I'm sorry."

Anna shifted. "About what?"

"That night. I… was only thinking about myself. That it was the right thing to do to make you forget… and I've only made things worse."

Worse, no. Anna just felt guilt and shame, and there was not a thing she could do about it now. She knew Meg had good intentions - ones that she didn't need. She didn't even think of needing. And even when Meg apologized… it wasn't going to change anything. She'd be lucky if it'd change Elsa. She shook her head. "It's… not your fault. I should've stopped when I had the chance."

Meg smiled, sighing through this dreaded silence. "Remember when I first saw you two when Olaf started school?"

At that, Anna finally picked her head up to give her all her undivided attention. Those brown eyes… were still staring at the ring, and finally, they were lost into space and fond memories.

"Yeah," Anna replied softly.

"I remember Elsa was trying to get all the applications done in the office… and you were just sitting in there with Olaf trying to control him from running around. He didn't like being there, but I noticed you had eased his mind pretty quickly. I was going to jump into action when I finished printing out assignments, but… seeing that gave me a relief. You had always been a very patient parent. In a blink of an eye… all three of you changed a lot." Meg took a deep breath of the fresh air, and her gazes began to wander in the sky. "You two were so in love - I could almost say I was jealous. Of that love, I mean. And I thought I could never fall in love with anyone, but I never expected I'd fall in love with you. Nobody would have guessed it, not even myself."

Anna had a million words to say, but she couldn't. Anything she'd say right now… would just hurt them both, and she knew… she didn't want to hurt another girl. And looking at Meg… the beauty of her just haunted Anna. How am I supposed to even react? "Why do you love me?" The only question that had been on her mind for so long, and this was just the perfect moment to ask.

And Meg only chuckled and shrugged. "I don't know. Why is the sky blue? It's one of those questions not everyone can answer. It's fine though… I'm only here to let you decide what you want."

"What do I want?" She knew Meg couldn't answer that. She watched the woman gaze at her, her face growing soft.

"Love?" Ah. "Someone… you need someone."

"No," Anna shook her head, "I just… I need Elsa." Back at it again?

Oddly - but, perhaps, it was more than fitting -, Meg winced. "It's almost been a year since the divorce right?"

Anna nodded.

"Olaf is going to second grade… and I won't see him for a very long time unless things switch up in school."

"What's your point?" Anna nearly hissed at her, and when she realized Meg could hear the anger in her voice… she did nothing but divert her gaze. The woman was trying to help her… and all she wanted to do was snap at her. And for what? She never… expected such a gentle smile though.

"I guess, I want you to have your own freedom. Clear your mind, and just… live for yourself without someone trying to intrude." What does she even mean? She didn't need to know when she felt a hand placed on top of her own. Teal eyes fell to the gripping hand. And it was almost… everything that she wanted. She tried her best to get away from that but… oh, she yearned for this for so long. How was she going to let go of that now? I'm exhausted. And too exhausted to run from this reality.

Before she could even consider giving her an answer, her phone rang with a text message. The only person who could make her freeze when she looked at the screen was Elsa. Two missed calls. One "Are you out? Be safe"... and Anna just stared in contemplation. Her fingers squeezed tightly on the small technology, feeling the other one squeezed her free hand…

She gulped. Perhaps… Meg was right. It'd been too long since she had ever gotten out of her little circle of misery. It had been too long since someone actually listened to her… give her advice… put her first. Anna bit her lip, and for the moment she had been staring at the message, she felt sick to the stomach.

This feeling she had, sitting next to Meg - this feeling of when she pictured her lovely body on her own… she liked it. She adored it too much. And she just… needed to give in.

I can't. She immediately shut the phone off and put it back in her pocket.

Meg nodded at the phone. "You're not going to answer that?"

Anna gazed out into the streets, shaking her head. The lights danced in the reflection of her eyes. "No."

"Why not?"

"I just…" How should I say it? She wrung her fingers together. "I'm spending time with you."

Silence. And instead of Meg having to stare at her with confusion as she would have expected… the woman just looked away. Her hand was taken off Anna's.

She quickly realized how desperate she was becoming. This person that was giving her love? She hadn't felt that in a long time. Her heart had been blackened with misery and doubt… and she just didn't know how to react with Meg anymore. Perhaps… neither did the brunette.

"Anna, do you know what I want?" No… no, please don't -

The redhead was immediately grimacing. She knew. She knew what Meg wanted, and a part of Anna realized she felt the same way. Her fingers clenched together, sensing a looming, anticipating gaze… one that was so soft. So patient. But Anna didn't want to look. It just wasn't worth it - perhaps, too worthy for her.

And suddenly, Meg was chuckling. "That's fine, you don't have to answer that now." Thank God. "How did you meet Elsa?"

"What?"

She gazed up at the sky. "Just tell me."

It was an odd question. But if it would make her - them feel better, she'd say it. Right now, even she realized the guilt Meg was feeling… and yet, she was bold enough to drag her out here. She was bold enough… to fuck Anna.

The redhead breathed out a slow breath, waiting for the breeze to stop before she answered. "I was still a college student when I met her. I was a junior, and she just got out of college too. Back then…" Her eyes dropped to her feet. "I was immature. I noticed her in a club, sitting by herself, drinking. I couldn't stop looking at her while I was with my friends. I thought, 'how could such a beautiful woman sit here all by herself in a bar?' I really just… didn't think much of it, until I got dared to go talk to her." She chuckled. "I mean, it was never a big deal. I wanted to go up to her anyway. But It really was so obvious that I fell in love at first sight… it wasn't then, I had no idea what I was doing then. But looking back, it was the most obvious thing in the world. I was probably the last person to realize it had happened. She probably realized it earlier than me… Elsa has always been intuitive anyway. And we were so in love -" Were. Anna twitched, but she continued, "... so in love that not even two years passed, and we both got married. I didn't even finish college then, that's the funny part -"

She suddenly felt a small thud on her shoulder, and she looked over to see the woman next to her with eyelids closed, her head laid on her shoulder… and there was a slight flush on her cheeks. Fast asleep already?

Anna bit her lip, but she didn't dare move her head away. Or did she just not want to? But that was fine. The smile she had while she spoke so fondly of their past... quickly made her realize Elsa would never come back. Elsa would never be the woman she had met during that day in the club. When have we become so bitter?

No matter how much Anna loved her, no matter how much she wanted to cling to those memories of their happiness together, it wouldn't help bring her back.

She stared at the ring on her finger - the only ring that she had kept to herself for almost eight years. Twirling it around, Anna couldn't help but realize how dull its shine looked. Things… will never be the same.

And Meg was right. What use was there to hold on to something that wouldn't return what she needed? What use was there to wish for a little glimpse of light every day? She frowned in contemplation. What am I doing?

And without another slight bit of hesitation, she slipped the ring off. For a moment, she wanted to throw it away in the streets. The only reminder of their painful marriage was this ring… and she just couldn't bear it anymore. Though, no matter how much she tried to throw it - no matter how much she convinced herself how worthless the piece of rock was… she couldn't throw it. She couldn't give in, and she hated herself for wanting to look at, to be with, to love somebody else.

It was after dinner when Elsa was sitting on the couch, watching television, and Olaf was washing dishes with his uncle Hans. He was quite an insistent boy - always needing to do whatever the man said, needing to do whatever he wanted to do. Elsa didn't have the energy to argue when Hans laughed during dinner and begged the woman if they could wash the dishes together.

She could hear them from across the room, talking and giggling… and while she was on her phone, Elsa just sighed.

Worried? Tired? Frustrated? Perhaps all three had clung to her heart. She had been calling Anna just to check in with her, but she never really answered. Elsa wasn't quite that bothered… well, maybe a little. After that day of Anna coming to check up on her… the blonde had been completely restless. She tilted her head against the headrest, rubbing her fingers on her forehead.

"Olaf, in the future, would you like it if you call me daddy?"

Elsa's ears perked, and she turned to stare at the two boys in the kitchen.

The child hummed. "Hm… are you going to marry Mom?"

Elsa twitched in silence. It wasn't something she had been thinking about ever. Marriage…? Was she going to go through that again?

"Mm… well, when the time is ready. But would you like that?"

She noticed Olaf looking down for a moment. "Heh, yeah, as long as Mom is happy!"

Elsa smiled at that, shaking her head in disbelief. She had always taught Olaf to be respectful and thoughtful, but… this was honestly more than she had ever asked for. And when she felt the Hans groaning as he came to sit next to her, an arm wrapped around Elsa's shoulders, she hadn't even realized how much time had passed.

"Nice show you're watching?"

"Hm." Elsa smiled, not turning to look at him… but she knew his eyes were piercing right into her. "Olaf?"

"Went up to take a shower. Must be a very interesting show to see you get so invested that you're not even paying attention."

Elsa chuckled, wringing her fingers between Hans'. "Shush, you. You two boys seemed to have fun."

"Ah, yeah, when am I never having fun with Olaf?"

"I never thought you were good with kids."

"Babies. Not kids." He cleared his throat. "I… actually wanted to talk. You're not pregnant?"

"No." She paused, and this sudden silence… made her turn in question. This wasn't really something out of usual, but never once had Hans asked questions like this. Perhaps, just a little 'would you like it if I proposed?', 'any plans for our future?' "Why?"

"I just… I don't know. Would you like to get pregnant?"

"Hans -"

He huffed, eyes gazing at the flat screen. "I guess… I don't know. It's just been different. We've been together for… how long?"

Elsa wasn't sure where they were going with this. She let go of Hans' hand and turned to him fully. "Seven months. What is this?" Her brows furrowed, and she still hadn't even noticed how Hans winced. She watched as Hans get up, his chest puffing out as he took in a deep breath. His eyes were completely green with sorrow and regret - and behind all these layers… was anger, and even Elsa could see that. She tensed.

"What is this, Elsa? Deep down… I know, God, and I wished I didn't know, that you still love her."

Elsa squinted. "Are you kidding me, Hans? No, I'm not starting this -"

"You're only trying to avoid this because you know I AM RIGHT!" He paused. "Fine, say I'm wrong. Let's say there's nobody else in the picture. Then who were you trying to text before?"

At that, Elsa immediately tensed. Was that text why Hans was trying to talk about this? Sure, Hans could be defensive and aggressive many times… but being paranoid? Perhaps, he did have the right to become paranoid. Elsa sighed, getting up right in front of him, arms crossed around her body. "That was Anna -"

"Anna, Anna, Anna. It's always about Anna!"

"You think it's like that? Hans -"

He immediately grabbed the woman's wrist when she tried to reach for him. And here… there was just a moment. A single moment… that Elsa was scared of what he would do to her. Her wrists reddened immediately, and his grip felt tighter now. His eyes were wild, furrowed in heartbreak… and he just shook his head. Slowly, he let go of her, head dropped down. "Was I… ever the person that you really love? Or are you saying those three words because you needed someone?"

This was getting ridiculous, but… was this reasonable at all? Elsa looked away. "I… really love you, Hans. You think I could cut off all communications with Anna? We have Olaf -"

"You keep repeating that! I -" He swallowed, running his fingers through his hair. "You know what, fine. I love your little boy, I'd do anything for him. And I love you too, but… how am I supposed to be with someone who can't decide what they want?"

"Hans -"

"Stop it!" Immediately, the man pushed her down on the couch, green eyes piercing with hurt in his eyes. And quietly… Elsa knew she had to stay in her own place. To try and understand her own heart… and she just couldn't understand. Perhaps, she couldn't understand what it meant to love. She sighed, placing her two palms on her head as Hans gathered his stuff, and the front door creaked open.

"You know I always wonder whether you're just being with me because you're guilty that you cheated on her with me. I always wonder what you're thinking - and… God, I wanted badly to slap you sometimes, but I love you. I... just don't know anymore. I'll see you whenever."

And the door slammed shut with an echo, and the only thing Elsa could do was wince at the sound… and she wept. She wept pitifully… and she knew she just deserved all of this.

a/n: oof... elsa you fucked up...