Illustration by Maria Finocchiaro

I shaved my head and more women started talking to me

How a little bit of statistics and game theory can justify making a radical change to your appearance.

In the wee hours of January 1, 2017, I set my beard trimmer to zero millimeters and shaved off all the hair on my head. In the days that followed, when concerned friends asked why I had buzzed my blonde locks, I had a few answers ready: I’d always wanted to try it out, it’d grow back in a month or two, plus it was an appropriate way to physically mirror the freshness of a new year. I kept it to myself that I’d also been a little drunk.

It wasn’t a great look. At a time when Western civilization seems to be collapsing into a sinkhole of nativism and impulsivity, being the young white dude with a shaved head doesn’t register as the friendliest of messages. My appearance did soften after a week of growth, but I still looked like an early prototype in some sort of Chia Pet mannikin series. I figured that January would not be the zenith of my romantic life.

But then something interesting happened. Even though I’d expected most people to dismiss my Mr. Clean impression, women began striking up conversations with me at a rate higher than that of my previous, shaggier era. At the gym, on the subway, and in line at the grocery store, it appeared that my shiny head was more a beacon than a repellant.

Now the uptick wasn’t monumental and I didn’t record actual data on this trend since I only recognized it halfway through (and also because tallying the number of women you talk to seems like just about the lamest, most single thing someone can do). In general, I’d encourage readers not to believe things that are founded on anecdote…this is a data blog after all.

But the scenario reminded me of a section of the book Dataclysm by Christian Rudder, who, as the founder of the online dating site OkCupid, has access to enough user-to-user data to make up for my empty-handedness. Among other captivating discoveries, Rudder found that the higher proportion of negative attractiveness ratings a woman received, the more messages she got from men. He originally published his findings via blogpost in 2011.

“To be universally liked is to be relatively ignored. To be disliked by some is to be loved all the more by others. And, specifically, a woman’s overall sex appeal is enhanced when some men find her ugly.” — Christian Rudder, Dataclysm

Before we move on, I’d like to offer a warning: while I’ve tried to keep the analysis forthright and positive, dissecting men’s ratings of women introduces a certain irreducible aspect of objectification. If you think that might cause you discomfort, this might not be the blogpost for you.

The key to understanding why someone might look uglier but garner more outreach lies in recognizing the potential for imbalance between distributions. Imagine two individuals that are both a “6.” That is, if people were forced to rate their attractiveness on a scale from 1 to 10, the average for both would be 6.

Of course, the average is incapable of capturing the spread of votes — they might cluster around a consensus or be dispersed along the entire scale. So on the left is a “conventional” 6, whose votes are mostly stacked around the value of 6, and on the right is “controversial” 6, who receives some very high votes but also plenty of 1s and 2s. Both average to the same number, but I bet you’re thinking of two very different people to play these roles.