Because platemail’s efficiency is boring

CRABMAIL CUIRASS

Some enterprising soul has managed to knit together a large number of crabs of sundry heft

Don: d4 actions

Doff: drink bitterroot tea and wait an hour

Crabmail provides you with Armour 2, though any ranged attacks made against you are Enhanced. Crabmail is loud — it is unwise to sneak whilst wearing it.

If you ever take exactly 8 points of damage from a single attack, the crabmail scatters and mobs the nearest foe for d8 damage each round until the crabs are beaten off. You cannot reassemble the crabmail afterwards.

Cost: Exorcise my pet eel, Flaccit

RED TAPEWORM

A precise parasite and the perfect evolution of exploratory-capitalist-symbiosis

Don: takes a week to incubate

Doff: submit form 85l to the Relevant Authorities

If a weapon breaks your skin, that weapon becomes enmeshed in a silken wrap. Further attacks from it (to all targets) are Impaired.

Your healing is quickened if you follow the Health and Safety (Subterranean) Guidelines.

Cost: name-drop three Leading Entomologists (including the lady selling it to you)

YOUR TURN

These armours have been statted for Into The Odd. If there’s a system you prefer, I’d love to see the numbers you settle on for those! Alternatively, I’d love to see these illustrated by someone more skilled than me.

The best entries will receive A Mystery Prize.