Before the Lifetime Network was “Television for Women”, it was unofficially “Television for Kids Who Were Home from School During the Summer”. In addition to Golden Girls re-runs (which are still airing on the channel), Lifetime had another hour of programming that really helped the day go by.

There were two game shows appearing back to back, and while the latter (Shop ‘Til You Drop) became largely forgettable as time went on, the former stands the test of time as one of the best to be broadcast.

If you’ve ever stood at the checkout counter and heard that beep, you’ve definitely thought of all the fun you could have on Supermarket Sweep.

Hosted by David Ruprecht, the Sweep combined two of children’s favorite things: answering questions and running through a supermarket, unsupervised. While the show featured adults and I guess was technically for adults, there was no way that kids weren’t going to watch this show and bask in its glory.

According to the franchise’s Wikipedia page, the 90s version of Supermarket Sweep was actually a remake of a show which had aired in the 60s. I’ve never seen that version and a quick YouTube search yielded no results, so I can’t speak to its awesomeness. I can, however, say that I used both Wikipedia and YouTube as references in the same paragraph. I’m so internetty.

The 90s version of the show was great. It basically went like this: you and a teammate would play against two other teams. In the first few rounds you’d play a bunch of different games. The games ranged from guessing blurred out brand names to the kind of pricing games you’d see on The Price is Right. Each correct answer earned you “time”, usually ten seconds, which teams would accumulate until it was time for the big run-through.

The run-through consisted of motoring through a realistically-sized supermarket. Using the time you earned in the games, you’d get to run through the aisles, filling your cart with as much crap as you could before returning for a fresh one. After each team did their run-through, the price of the groceries was added up and whoever accumulated the most stuff won.

More often that not, the team that had the most amount of time in the supermarket sweep would win. But that wasn’t always the case. Savvy “shoppers” knew getting big-ticket items was the key to success. Even though you were only allowed five of each item max, if you played your cards right, things could add up in a hurry.

It is through this show that I learned that frozen turkeys and freshly ground coffee were expensive. Also diapers. People always went for diapers.

When a winner was determined, that team had a chance to play in a special bonus round, which was a supermarket scavenger hunt. I think you had like thirty seconds to find three items based on clues. The clue would be something like, “You might call it ‘Slime Time’ when using this to quench your thirst.” And then the team would have to run off and find Ecto-Cooler.

It was fun to watch but also extremely frustrating when the winning team couldn’t figure out the clue. Even if you didn’t know it, they’d show the answer at home, and you’d be screaming at the TV, “WHY ARE YOU IN THE TOILET PAPER AISLE IT’S CLEARLY CEREAL THAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR”.

Later on, the once-a-cartoon-now-a-game-show program Video Power used the same run-through idea, except instead of a supermarket and a shopping cart it was walls filled with Nintendo games which you would stick on to your body via a velcro suit. To this day, there has been nothing greater in the history of the world than being a winning contestant on that program.

As of now, it seems unlikely that Supermarket Sweep will ever make a comeback, even though it was airing as recently as 2004. With the economy being the way it is, running through a supermarket for food would have a decidedly grimmer feel to it. Which is a total bummer in more ways than one.

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