I’ve been wearing metal shirts for almost 20 years now, some more vulgar and or offensive than others. As time goes, I wear less and less Deicide, Slayer and Cradle of Filth shirts, mostly because other fans tend to yell out the band’s name of the shirt that I’m wearing. I eventually started wearing more nerd related shirts but having people yell “Thundercats Ho!!!” isn’t any better than a long-hair yelling “Slayer!” while three feet away from me. Oddly enough, I used to make fun of my friend Trevor for wearing various slogan shirts that you can find at your local Spencer’s Gifts (he swears he has never purchased a shirt from here). I would tell him that the only people who liked shirts like that were “bro” types. These are shirts that would definitely repel woman with their vulgarities. Recently, I realized that while I made these comments to Travis, I was wearing metal shirts that were equally childish and I missed the irony completely. This, by no means, will stop me from wearing these shirts, though. It just means that I’ll try to make fun of Trevor less.

James “50% of all metal songs are about alien conspiracy” Alvarez