'Penny Hardaway fixes all potholes in Memphis'

What, you don’t believe the headline?

You don’t think Penny Hardaway will fix every pothole in Memphis? Then you haven’t been paying attention to the optimism in this city.

To hear Memphians tell it, there’s no limit to the headlines Hardaway may generate:

1. “Penny saves Greensward.”

2. “Penny to play with Tiger Woods in FESJC Celebrity Pro-Am.”

3. “Penny brokers peace accord between Gotti and Young Dolph.”

4. “Sons of Confederate Veterans changes stance on statue removal after brief chat with Penny.”

5. “Memphis airport adds multiple flights citing `Penny Effect.’”

6. “Penny builds wall around Memphis and makes Kentucky pay for it.”

7. “Penny major investor in new Overton Square restaurant which does not serve tapas, burgers, pizza or tacos.”

8. “Amazon turns down Memphis offer? `Not so fast,’ says Penny Hardaway.”

9. “Penny arms Memphis teachers with Foamposits.”

10. “Penny resolves wet/dry rib debate once and for all.”

11. “Penny saves Mid-South Coliseum.”

12. “Bitcoin changes name to `Penny.’”

13. “Penny creates lineup for Beale St. Music Festival and nobody complains.”

14. “Penny cuts ribbon on Memphis Whataburger.”

15. “Liberty Bowl tailgating area renamed Penny Lane.”

16. “Penny gets trolleys running again with new 1-cent fare.”

17. “With approval of NCAA, Penny hangs 2008 Final Four banner.”

18. “Penny most popular baby name in West Tennessee for both genders.”

19. “New Brooks Museum opens with Penny Hardaway exhibit.”

20. “Local area code changed to 901Cent.”

21. “Penny and Shaq open hot new Beale Street club called `Blue Chips.’”

22. “Penny personally flies Memphis Belle back to Memphis.”

23. “Penny opens three more windows at Jerry’s Sno Cones.”

24. “Big 12 apologizes to Penny, extends membership invitation to University of Memphis.”

25. “New Griz GM Hardaway pulls off draft day steal.”

26. “After phone call from Penny, North Korea trades all nukes for floor seats at FedExForum.”

27. “State of Tennessee reverses stance against casinos citing new Penny slots.”

28. “Penny rebuilds Zippin Pippin by hand.”

29. “All Memphis surburbs rename themselves `Lil Memphis.’”

And finally:

30. “Penny feeds 5,000 with just five King Cotton hot dogs.”

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