The bestselling novelist has given an interview in which he gives spectacularly short shrift to his nearest and less than dearest

Perhaps we should start a new blog series. It would run every Monday, and it would lay out the most extraordinary comments by authors in the press over the weekend. The first contender for the slot? Wilbur Smith, the bestselling South African novelist, interviewed for the Sunday Times magazine. As it’s subscription-only, here are a few choice quotes (although you can see a bit more of it in the Mail):

On his previous marriages:

Two of them died on me, the first one hates me and this one loves me, so I’ve covered the whole spectrum.

On his current wife:

I first saw Niso 16 years ago. I was in WHSmith, in London’s Sloane Square, browsing around the Dan Brown section. She was young, in her early 20s, and I was as randy as a stallion in a ranch full of mares. So I said to her: ‘Come across to this side of the bookshelf, where the important writers are.’

On his children:

I don’t see my kids, they’re men and women in their 50s and 60s and they’re not part of me. They’ve got my sperm, that’s all. I can be hard. I don’t want to be, but I don’t like being hurt. They were important to me at one point, make no mistake – very important – but not now. It’s sadder for them than it is for me, because they’re not getting any more money.

The latter prompted Smith’s fellow bestselling novelist Robert Harris to comment on Twitter: “Hey, kids, however much of a pain I may be, I’m not Wilbur Smith.”

Robert Harris (@Robert___Harris) Hey, kids, how ever much of a pain I may be, I'm not Wilbur Smith pic.twitter.com/Xq0B2a0j7x

The second quote drew the following gem from thriller writer Jeremy Duns: “What are the chances, seeing how Dan Brown met his wife while she was browsing Wilbur Smith books in DHBrown?”

Jeremy Duns (@jeremyduns) What are the chances, seeing how Dan Brown met his wife while she was browsing Wilbur Smith books in DHBrown?

Any other candidates for “most eye-widening comment from an author” slot this weekend? I’m flicking through the papers, but for now at least, I think Smith comes out on top. Beat “they’ve got my sperm, that’s all”, if you can.