G. I. JOE: A REAL AMERICAN HERO

In my last post I reviewed 1990’s Night Creeper version 1; a pretty rad figure. What a difference three years can make. This abomination is 1994’s Night Creeper version 3.

Night Creeper was the last ninja to be added to the G.I. Joe toyline while it was still intended to primarily be a military brand. 1991 was ninja free (except for a new version of Snake Eyes) but the ninja s**t hit the fan in 1992 and 1993 with the introduction of the sub-team Ninja Force. Not only were new ninjas like Slice, Dice, and Banzai added to the line-up but established characters like Firefly, Scarlett, and Zartan became full-blown ninjas as well. (92/93 also featured the following sub-teams: Mega Marines, Drug Elimination Force, Star Brigade, Street Fighters, Eco-Warriors and Dino-Figthers…the days of the modern military man were over).

I had stopped collecting Joes by that point but my little brother Brian was just getting started collecting so I was aware of what was going on. I didn’t like the over-abundance of ninjas. I felt it diminished the uniqueness of Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow and watered down the brand’s military theme. Plus the ninja figures featured “real ninja action” which meant they karate chopped when you pressed their legs together or kicked when you lifted their arm or something like that. Generally I hate built-in play features. It was a kitschy novelty for toylines like DC’s Super Powers Collection but it doesn’t belong in G.I. Joes in my opinion.

The Night Creeper got a weird redesign in 1993. He went from High-Tech Ninja to Battlestar Gallactica reject. The body was really dull and lacking in detail and the head looked completely alien. He would have looked more at home displayed with my Micro-Nauts figures than with my Joes. The blue and purple paint deco was ugly and his baby blue weapons were also pretty lame. On top of all that Night Creeper version 2 had a useless”Banzai Bash” attack.

But just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse Hasbro re-released Night Creeper version 2 one year later in a god-awful pink and milky-clear color scheme. The reason for the translucency is because the figure was now part of a group of Shadow-Ninjas that had a color change feature, allowing them to turn “invisible” when put in warm water. This figure is ugly as f**k. It’s the perfect storm of a horrible sculpt and the worse color palette I can imagine. It’s far worse than the Bushido Shadow Ninja I reviewed a while back.

I don’t remember where I got this god-forsaken figure. I don’t think it was Brian’s because all of the fingers and thumbs are broken off and we Hyland boys took better care of our toys than that. At some point though this thing found its way into my collection. I can’t find a single redeeming quality about it. This may be the worst toy I own. 0 out of 10.