Mascots are the cuddly, cool, cartoonish sidekicks that lend a friendly face to big corporations. And while we're used to seeing them on cereal boxes or in computer documents or looking vaguely racist during football games, plenty other of organizations also employ mascots to help make their brand more soft and approachable. That doesn't mean everyone should have a cute magic friend, though. Because while some organizations have tried to distract people with weird mascots, there aren't enough Tony the Tigers in the world that can make people forget all the shady shit they get up to. For example ...

7 A Japanese Prison Shook Up Their Image with a Cute Cartoon Warden

There isn't a problem in Japan that the country won't try to solve by putting a cute cartoon figure in front of it. Currently, over a thousand government-sponsored mascots roam the Japanese countryside like tiny, cheerful kaiju. They champion administrative issues from childcare to local tax collectors, but if you think that's a bit strange, you have yet to meet Katakkuri-chan, a cuddly mascot for the decidedly un-cuddly correctional institute.

Asahikawa Prison

"You eat when we say you eat. You piss when we say you piss, and you shit when we say you shit. You got that, you maggot dick motherfucker?"

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Asahikawa Prison introduced the world to Katakkuri-chan in 2013, Katakkuri-chan both as a boy and a girl, with the gal sporting a violet dress and green sash resembling the lovely flower they're named after while the guy is dressed like a prison warden to represent the crushing regime they're trying to put a happy face on.

And these flowery buddies have quite the task ahead of them. Asahikawa Prison has repeatedly been compared to a Soviet gulag. This is a place where one prisoner was once kept in solitary confinement for 24 hours a day for 13 years for making "antiestablishment remarks." This guy was alone for so long that his lawyers actually thought he was losing the ability to speak. But just trying staying mad at this little fella/gal.

Asahikawa Prison

"Awwww okay, you can lock me up."

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Katakkuri-chan also appears on a line of coasters and bookmarks, which the inmates themselves have to make. He/she now also greets new prisoners as they're brought, which must be about as comforting as being punched in the balls by a Teletubby.