HBO

No more excuses. You have to step up your game in 2018 because there won’t be any Game of Thrones until 2019. That is going to leave a massive, inescapable, all-matter-consuming black hole in your life. All. Year. Long. It will become a void in your heart so vast you won’t want to get out of bed in the morning. Not even watching the old seasons will make you feel anything but utter emptiness.

Your only choice is to step it up and achieve your goals this year, and if you don’t have any goals, you’re gonna have to get some real fucking fast. Faster than your favorite character can travel across Westeros in a single episode. Because the alternative is a fate worse than death: a boring, dull, meaningless life that isn’t even worth living. And that’s what life is going to be without Game of Thrones. Cold, icy, lifeless winter is coming…unless you do something about it.

Face it, you’ve been holding back and you know it. Wanting to better yourself, wanting to help others, wanting to make the world a better place…none of it has gotten you fired up and ready to actually act. You’ve thought you’re just a lazy loser, not the kind of person who goes out and gets shit done. Well it’s not true. You ARE the kind of person who goes out and gets shit done, and you WILL. The problem has simply been that you haven’t had the kick in the ass you need to get started.

Well now you do. The miserable lack of GOT for almost two years IS the kick in ass you need. It’s the swiftest, most dead-on, most powerful straight-from-the-hips kick in the ass you could possibly ask for. It’s gonna light a bigger fire in you than Dany lit all over the Lannister scum. You’re gonna wake up every morning harder than Jon Snow in a cavern hot springs with a red-headed wildling. You’re gonna face every day with the unwavering determination of Stannis the Mannis, ready to burn your own damn daughter alive if need be. You’re gonna endure any troubles or torture that come your way because you’re a humble survivor like Theon, and not even getting your dick cut off can stop you.

You’re gonna accomplish all your goals this year and you’re never gonna look back at who you used to be. From now on, you are an Arya. You are a Jon Snow. You are a Tyrion. You are a Daenerys. You are a Samwell Taking Care of Business Mother Fucking Tarley. But you’re not going to shake up one little fictional continent, you’re going to shake up the whole damned real world. You’re not going to be eaten alive from the inside until you starve and decay into a lifeless husk because there’s no Game of Thrones this year. You are gonna be too busy earning a metaphorical iron throne, baby!

So step up your game. It’s 2018 y’all. Go get some. Go get shit done. No excuses!