The Lines in This Fox 29 Story About Poop Falling From the Sky, Ranked

A Sweet 16 party in Levittown was interrupted when poop (likely dropped from a passing airplane) rained from the sky. Fox 29 covered it well.

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Monday night on Fox 29, reporter Brad Sattin covered quite the story: A Sweet 16 party in Levittown was interrupted by an airplane releasing its bathroom waste overhead. Shortly, the party was covered in poop.

As you might expect with such a story, Sattin delivered multiple poop puns and other similar lines during his report. Here they are, ranked from best to worst:

“In airport lingo, Jacinda’s Sweet 16 party certainly should have qualified as a dooty-free zone.” This closed the report. Sattin saved the best for last. “This was a Sweet 16 party, the family deciding to have a bit of a drop in. But it’s what dropped in at around 7:40 last night that turned this party into quite the stinker.” This is a double! “A couple observations of Sweet 16 parties. Number one, you only get one in your lifetime. And number two, shouldn’t be there. But it was — number two, that is.” “It slammed into the middle of his canopy, the canopy he just bought hours earlier to give his guests a little protection from the elements — not realizing, of course, which element he’d be protecting them from.” “About 40 people were there when it started raining. Only it wasn’t raining.” “Splat is a pretty good description.” “We are standing at Ground Zero.”

Maybe it’s best to avoid that last term when you’re just talking about getting covered in poop. But no matter, Fox 29 still covered this admirably with four poop puns and several other good (and cringeworthy) lines. Job well done, Brad Sattin.

Follow @dhm on Twitter.