Hosting The Meat Show isn’t all old-world steakhouse glamour all the time. Some days host Nick Solares needs to sample simpler fare. So this week, Eater’s professional carnivore hit up McDonald’s to test out two new variations of the iconic Big Mac: The Grand Mac and the Mac Jr.

Solares loves fresh beef: “Bland, grey, mealy meat in the middle [isn’t] really what a carnivore’s life is supposed to be about in the 21st century,” he says. However, even Solares wasn’t oblivious to the charm of the original Big Mac, “It kind of holds up. It tastes like my youth, which is kind of shameful in some ways.”

The Mac Jr and Grand Mac, however, didn’t quite pass muster. (Guess which one Solares chastised with the line “the meat in here is a mere rumor”?) After three burgers, the lesson was clear: Seek out fresh and unique hamburgers near you, but if you must visit the golden arches, stick to the original.

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