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No one likes push-back. As a leader, regardless of “wokeness”, you’re going to bristle when someone digs in and resists your leadership. Unfortunately, it’s not unusual for your strongest-willed employees to look you in the face and say “I think you’re wrong”. The more that you aspire to do, the more you’ll have people resisting. Fortunately, the alternative is worse.

If you’re inexperienced, you’ll tend towards defensiveness and lash out at these employees, feeling a little hurt that they didn’t buy in. But people don’t work that way. It’s your most essential employees who are the hardest to win over, and it’s your job to work with them. These are not individuals to be knocked over, they need to be persuaded and guided to see where you’re coming from.

Listen to what they have to say

Active listening is a superpower because it’s such an underrepresented and valuable skill. If one of your employees has sincere passion for a topic and chooses to disagree with you, listen to them. In order to be persuasive, you need to hear them and allow them to feel heard first. Too many conversations are demonstrations of how to talk past the other person. Be quiet and let the other person speak their piece.

By encouraging someone to fully share their perspective, you allow them to let their guard down which makes them more likely to listen to you in turn. Acknowledge their good points, and in turn they’re more likely to acknowledge yours.

Understand their motivations

Why does the other person feel this way? Even if you don’t agree, do you understand why they feel the way they do? Often, leaders do a poor job of framing initiatives from the perspective of their employees, which is a large barrier to understanding. If you can understand your employees and their motivations, you can meet them where they are to deliver more impactful arguments.

Acknowledge their anxiety/fears

What are the one or two things that your employees are most concerned about? Is your employee disagreeing with you because they’re worried about something? Do you know what it is? Have you asked them? If push-back is largely driven by fear of a bad outcome, speak into that. Defensive behavior is driven by fear and anxiety. Speak to that anxiety. Let them see that you understand what their concerns are and that you’ve thought through the potential repercussions of whatever decision is being made.

Give them time to think about it

Rome wasn’t built in a day. The more entrenched the employee, the more time it will take for them to come around. Be gracious and give them space to think things over and consider your conversation(s). You’ll be surprised what time to reflect can do to de-escalate a tense topic.

You can’t guarantee that even the most compelling argument is going to convince someone to see things your way. But you will feel better for having tried your best, especially if you approach the topic from a place of compassion. Don’t be discouraged if the situation doesn’t resolve itself in the way you were hoping, you’ll gain respect and appreciation for your approach.

Good luck out there.

-Patrick