It makes sense to start a podcast with your friend. You both have similar interests, great banter, and enjoy spending time together. All of your conversations could be brilliant podcast episodes because together, you’re full of wisdom and jokes. But not all friends make great roommates, and not all buddies make great co-hosts. There’s more to choosing a co-host than history and chemistry.

Not all friends make good roommates, and not all buddies make great co-hosts.

“Usually, we pick a friend as a co-host and then have to navigate a whole new set of dynamics in the relationship,” says comedian Carolyn Bergier, host of the poplar LGBTQ podcast Dyking Out who parted ways with her former co-host late last year. It makes sense! You’re both navigating uncharted waters! That’s why it’s not uncommon for friends-turned-co-hosts to lose steam and find themselves out of synch, especially when the novelty of podcasting wears off.

If you find yourself irked at your co-host or just totally forgot to lay the groundwork for a healthy working-relationship, we’ve got you covered. Below you’ll find insight from co-host duos on how to repair a rocky relationship. We also dig into how to set yourselves up for success going forward.

Getting to the bottom of lazy behavior

Carolyn Bergier, host of the poplar LGBTQ podcast Dyking Out

“If you find yourself in a frustrating working partnership, it’s absolutely crucial to meet with your partner and tell them that you would like to explore a new approach to the working relationship,” says Carolyn. While it takes courage to open up a potentially uncomfortable conversation, the success of your show and friendship count on it.

You’re seeking fundamental and reasonable information.

If you’re a few months into a frustrating situation, you may be over it or feel like you lost the chance to speak your mind. “It’s never too late in the relationship to have these conversations because avoiding them is the surest way to build resentment, and that will be the beginning of the end of the partnership,” explains Carolyn. Remember, you’re seeking fundamental and totally reasonable information! Here are some ways to approach the conversation (even for the second or third time).

1. Be clear with your needs

Before requesting a chat with your co-host, run through these self-assessment tasks. “Make a list of everything that needs to be done on a weekly and monthly basis, and before you meet with them, think about what kind of arrangement and workload balance would make you happy,” says Carolyn, who now works with a new co-host for her show. Love editing? Finding guests? Posting to social media? Make sure your half of the work is crystal clear. And if the issue is obvious, write down a few mutually beneficial solutions before your chat so you can walk away with a plan.

Perhaps you’re running into an issue where you and your co-host enjoy the same aspects of podcasting, so the less compelling tasks are ignored. Again, two friends cut from the same cloth will likely enjoy the same tasks. “Rather than having both hosts try to confusingly double-dip in things like social media (which would make establishing a consistent show voice more difficult), let each person be a master of their own zone,” says Dan, co-host of The Empty Bowl podcast. How can you divvy up the work so everyone has a few tasks they love?

Lastly, if you're like, yeah, we did that, and I’m still doing ALL THE THINGS he said he would do! Carolyn reminds us, “If your co-host isn’t willing to have these conversations, or if they’re dismissive of your needs, then that’s a clear sign that you need to part ways.” Clearly, parting ways is a big decision and takes time to come to terms with. But if communication has been a struggle for months, sit with the idea of doing your show alone.

2. Approach with positivity

When setting up the chat, “Phrase your words in a positive way, like, “I think this podcast keeps getting better, and I’d love to keep making it with you for as long as possible. Let’s meet and talk about how we can better work together to help us grow,” Carolyn suggests. Keep the mood light by grabbing coffee or doing a yoga class before your chat. Mutual activities tend to disarm defense.

Also important: noting the positive. “I think it’s less about language and more about style. Open with a positive, then a request or constructive note,” says Lynda Crotty, one half of the Fix Your Chit podcast. The duo paired up over a year ago to help others find balance in their lives.

“Build a feedback sandwich: Bread = positive or neutral statement. Meat = feedback or concern. Bread = positive or neutral statement,” says Lisa Diers, RD, ERTY, and the other half of Fix Your Chit podcast.

Don’t bombard your co-host with all the things they’re doing wrong. Make a feedback sandwich.

In other words, don't bombard your co-host with all the things they’re doing wrong. Express your gratitude for what they bring to the table. If you need to, list them out beforehand.

3. Get to the root of the issue

You’ve positively expressed your needs and questions, and now it’s time to listen. Everyone’s circumstances are different. Maybe they got slammed at work and didn’t mention it. Let your co-host talk in a neutral and judgment-free zone.

“If you’ve had these conversations and your co-host still isn’t doing what they agreed to, don’t be afraid to ask them what is preventing them,” suggests Carolyn. Are they still invested in the success of the show? Are they unaware of the extent of how much more you do? Do they need things to move slower? Faster?

Being direct isn’t everybody’s cup of tea but it does open the floor for honesty. With a side of compassion, direct questions can even help pick apart excuses. “Chances are if your co-host is lazy, they are aware of it and might try to avoid being called out on it,” says Carolyn. “Honesty is key here,” says Lynda. “If you skirt any issues or sugar coat your feelings, you’re headed for trouble.”

How to repair your working-relationship

You’re done hashing out a fair production schedule and feel good about the show’s future. But before moving forward, it’s time to set up a framework for a healthier working relationship.

1. Set up clear expectations and boundaries

Consider setting some clear boundaries for “podcast talk” and “friend talk,” so the two don’t overlap and become muddy. Keeping your podcast and friendship separate will also make it easier to approach difficult topics in the future. This doesn’t mean ignoring your hilarious banter or chemistry—that makes you two such a great team! Just aim to be respectful of each other’s time and space as it relates to professional discussions.

2. Do what works best for your show

You can talk to 100 different co-hosts, and they will all split the work differently. So instead of looking around at what others are doing, make a plan that works for your show.

“I have willingly taken on a majority of the tasks: choosing the topic, research, outlines, physically recording, editing, and promoting. There were times when Lisa didn’t understand the ins-and-outs of podcasting and would make a request that wouldn’t work, like asking to move a record date to the day before our weekly show dropped,” says Lynda. “This wouldn’t allow me enough time to edit, so I would simply explain that to her, rather than being passive-aggressive, sarcastic or full out assy like, “Bitch, how am I supposed to pull the whole thing together in one damn day?” It’s a choice. How much work are you willing to take, on and how do you communicate about that?”

Dan says, “Justin has been ceding much of the show’s creative control to me, which I really appreciate, and which was pretty much his goal from the start. Him giving me creative and production leeway has helped us release and promote content in a more timely fashion.”

3. Have regular meetings

“If you expect to come across as a team on the mic, you have to act like teammates off the mic,” says Lisa. “Check-in regularly with each other to make sure the workload still works.” Add monthly or weekly standing meetings, outside of production or creative talk, to discuss the workload. This comes in handy when life happens, like someone having a baby or going through a tough time. With regular check-ins, you’re more likely to resolve kinks before they become too big.

At the end of the day, podcasting is supposed to be fun. Whether you two started your show as a creative outlet or money maker, find whatever sparked mutual joy and grow from there. If things don’t work out between you two professionally, be grateful that you gave it a shot and learned more about what to look for in your next co-host.