Driven by unease about the disproportionate weight society places on certain matters of frivolity, I recently took advantage of a dinner party to undertake a social experiment.

I kicked off by declaring that cats were a menace, and that they should be rounded up and processed into dog food. While some diners were understandably alarmed, my outburst accidentally sparked a rational debate about why some animals are considered more acceptable to eat than others.

Then I propounded that Ayn Rand is civilisation's greatest modern intellectual. This backfired when people agreed, albeit on the grounds that she was a transcendent satirist, or that her elitist drivel had succeeded in galvanising the liberal intelligentsia.

My bombshells, designed to incite outrage, had so far been received with pragmatic good grace. So I went nuclear. I waited until the conversation inevitably turned to the new Star Wars movie. When people turned to me in complacent solicitation of wookie-worship, my sentiments were, this time, genuine.