since I have written about anything BDSM-related. I’ve been in a relationship where I have had to assume the role of trainer as opposed to my role of trainee, which initially felt super awkward like being a child emperor of the song dynasty or something. i owned and operated a restaurant for ten years so being in charge and being a bossy bitch is something i’m familiar with, but as kinksters, we know sometimes the dominant and the submissive in second life can be turned right on its head.

so this spring, i had to get out of my comfortable submissive role if i wanted to keep engaging in BDSM in a dynamic sense. I’ve grown and learned from being a Dominant. i learned that i like being a Top–not all the time, but i definitely enjoy it when i’m playing that position. And any time you get out of your comfort zone, you grow–i guess in this case i’ve become a slightly better communicator. i can now get my partner to divulge what she wants and i’m able to tell her exactly what i want. anyway, i havent written because i’ve been busy doing and also, my partner is much more private than i; so i have been striving for a balance of discussing my BDSM experience without divulging information about hers. kinda tough :p

one of my goals since being formally introduced to kink is to be baptized. even though i was taken to church every sunday (in custom-made dresses that always matched my sister’s no less) from birth until i left home for college, no one ever managed to make sure i got baptized. i really love the story of john the baptist and the majority of my kink fantasies are centered around religion, specifically, christianity and water can be a a powerful device of torture so a baptism seemed a perfect scene to create. it has been a struggle though a) to find someone very special for the role of baptizer and b) to communicate this wish to that person and c) to after having communicated this wish having this special person willing to participate. b was the easiest part. i found this special person and she didn’t run away when i expressed my desire but she did not feel prepared for such a task. the last few months have been me trying to make her comfortable with the idea of “drowning” me. she is naturally comfortable hurting me in a number of other ways but this was ya know, just kinda crazy, too sadistic, her main (and legitimate) concern being that she might accidentally kill me. while a soft limit it was a limit nonetheless and something we have had to talk a lot about. eventually she was able to describe what would make her comfortable with this scene and since then i have been setting the stage.

last night on the winter solstice i got my christian kinky baptism by a drop dead gorgeous high priestess of pain. she spoke a slight variation on the typical baptism script, one tailor-made for us and our beliefs and our situation. then she dunked me. initially it was a little much for her to hold my head underwater while i struggled to come up but by the third try, she two hands on my neck shoving my head underwater while i struggled, hands flailing, a little bit scared i might die in the jacuzzi of a historic inn. “woman dies in weird solstice water torture.” the headline woulda been all kindsa inaccurate. but no, it turned out well. i’m overly satisfied and looking forward to our continued journey