By Kaye Shepherd

Hydrogen News Network, reporter-at-large

“Jimmy 6 and His Magic Tricks” is no more.

Toybotics’ follow-up to their hugely popular line of PuP-inspired toy-bots, was officially recalled last week after millions complained about the toys, citing AI-malfunctions. The return petitions described issues varying from irreconcilable differences to laser burns.

“My Jimmy 6 refused to do his tricks!” said emotionally distraught bot collector, Conrad Pimm. “He was only performing for 170 hours before he started acting up! Kept saying ‘Make YOURSELF happy!’ and ‘That socket’s for batteries!’ If I wanted to own something with free will, I’d get a cat!”

Atlas flyways were blocked for close to 4 hours deactivated toys auto-returned to Toybotics’ facilities. Even with that massive recall, recent acts of public vandalism against its parent trust, Warbotics, have lead many to believe that not all of the rogue toy-bots have been disabled, despite the Trust’s claims to the contrary.

Cryptic light paintings have been spotted throughout Atlas. Did @Warbotics’ recall fail? pic.twitter.com/9bcYswU6VT — Hydrogen News (@HydrogenNews) March 17, 2016

Humans Opposed to E-Bots (HOPE) held a protest outside the robotics giant’s headquarters on rumors that Warbotics’ had created yet another sentient-AI. Their airships blocked the flyway from D8 through D12, cutting off mobility through the Warbotics-ruled sectors of Atlas. Curiously, they shared the space with AI-Activist group, Fellowship of AI-Tolerant Humans (FAITH), who were, themselves, protesting the toy-bot recall.

“Stop making sentient beings and then killing them!” chanted FAITH reps.

“Yeah, that makes sense!” HOPE members shouted back.

It’s been a challenging week for Warbotics and all robot kind. Even outside of HOPE, thousands have expressed disappointment in the trust’s failed cleanup efforts, especially given one of Jimmy 6s newly discovered “magic tricks”: cutting edge anti-matter lasers.

The lasers, from Warbotics’ newest line of defensive tech, were originally intended as an anti-theft tool. However, a source close to the Trust tells us that Warbotics was unprepared for the sheer variety of misuses the average consumer was capable of. “They’re monsters. The people, not the robots.” said our source. “I’d probably flip too if I had to entertain them. The non-stop children’s birthdays were one thing. That, we expected. But don’t even get me started on what the adults were doing.”

While the anti-theft bug only affected citizens who escalated their toy-bot troubleshooting to physical violence, the number of burn incidents was still significant enough to cause a spike in EvoS’ plasma-tech and Omni’s nanite catalyst sales. That coincidence has re-sparked rumors of inter-trust sabotage.

Our source confirms those suspicions are alive at Warbotics too. “Anyone who pays attention should know that there is no trust between the trusts. Warbotics would never knowingly make one of their bots sentient. Or at least they would have hid it better.”

While Warbotics has yet to speak directly on the matter, their veteran spokesbots, PuP and Rampart, have both been particularly visible of late, seen posing for SELF-Es with fans and promoting charitable events throughout the city.

Speaking on behalf of Warbotics at the Titan War memorial, PuP recalled his time as a rescue war dog and emphasized the strong bond he’s shared with his human compatriots through the decades. “Woof! Woof, woof,” he said, in his heartfelt speech at the podium. “Woof! Woof. Woof!” The crowd lapped up his warm remarks.



Rampart, too, was emphatic about the record of heroism that Warbotics has shown for a century. Many were moved to tears by his touching explanation of his central mission, since the days of the Titan War. “ANALYZING HISTORICAL ARCHIVES… DATA: FOUND. WARBOTICS MISSION STATEMENT: SAVING HUMAN LIVES, ONE WARBOT AT A TIME. EXTRAPOLATING DATA… COMMENCING PARAPHRASING: WITHOUT WARBOTS, HUMANS WOULD BE DEAD.”

Warbotics’ emphasis on their decorated war history and collaboration with humankind is a clear effort to circumvent the longstanding controversy surrounding their robotic creations. Yet, with a rogue AI on the loose undermining their message, their reputation and standing may still be at risk. AI-Activists are stung by Warbotics’ silencing of an entire line of thinking beings, while HOPE is already alleging that Warbotics is in violation of the AI Sentience Act.

It is likely that Warbotics’ recovery will depend largely on whether or not they’re able to resolve the rogue-AI issue in a matter satisfactory to both Anti-AI supporters and AI-Activists. What this means for the Jimmy 6 model toy still out there, tagging city sights with his cryptic laser paintings, remains to be seen.