What have we done to Turkish men?

BELGİN AKALTAN - belgin.akaltan@hdn.com.tr

Now, they are after Syrian wives. They were after Russian wives about a decade ago, and now it is Syrians. In past centuries, it was the Ukrainians, Circassians and others…I call it the “unexplainable passion in Turkish men for foreign women.” I have written this before, and I am repeating myself, but I have a list of reasons I attribute to the modern appearance of this historic/genetic longing: Foreign women are pretty; they appear mysterious because they are foreign; they provoke the desire to fight and conquer in Turkish men. Also, there is the perception that they are available for sex.At the same time, they are so beautiful that their children might be prettier than one could ever imagine…One other reason, I am guessing, is that foreign wives and girlfriends have no clue who the Turkish husband really is. The language barrier and cultural differences are perfect for hiding one’s real identity, and any jerk can pass for a fairly decent guy.Also, I have added this new reason to the list: Turkish girls are high maintenance; foreign girls do not demand that much. Turkish husbands love to exploit this non-demanding attitude. I know of a well-off Turkish husband who did not buy a washing machine for his Russian wife for a whole year. I don’t know why but he boasted that his wife hand-washed the laundry.Now, you cannot do this to any Turkish women. Also, there was another case in which a Turkish husband opened a restaurant, and his Russian wife was helping out, including by cleaning the toilets. Now, you cannot expect a Turkish wife to do this, either. No way; she would rather close the restaurant and suffer in poverty.Another Turkish husband was telling his Turkish first wife why he loved his second wife, who was Russian: It was because she was cutting his toenails. I cannot write the first wife’s answer here.Yes, Turkish men like slave-wives.Sorry—the theme of this column was Syrian wives. Back to the theme: I know the situation of female refugees from Syria—actually, of all Syrian refugees, regardless of gender—is not a laughing matter at all. It is sad, tragic and inhuman....And this, Turkish men “taking” Syrian wives, is another form of abuse, I know…. But isn’t it ironic how Turkish men are drawn away from Turkish women with the slightest temptation?A story I heard earlier in the week that made me think this. The story was that Turkish men now prefer to marry or “take” Syrian wives, traveling to the Southeast for this purpose. The funny part is not the tragicomic absurdity of the entire situation, but instead the reasons cited for this trend: Turkish men now marry Syrian women because they do not talk back to their husbands. Plus they are loyal and obedient. I started laughing at the “not talking” part when I heard it. I’m still laughing after three days.Here is the full story: Constanze Letsch from The Guardian wrote from Reyhanlı, Kilis and Gaziantep on Sept. 8 that an increasing number of women who have fled conflict are opting to marry Turks. Kemal Dilsiz, a matchmaker in a village close to the Syrian border said, “I married off around 60 Syrian girls. Men from all over Turkey call me, looking for a wife from Syria. They say Syrian women are more loyal, more obedient, that they don’t talk back.”What have we done to our men? They cannot overcome their centuries-old need, passion, greed, craving, their appetite of being served. Modernization has worked against them, poor guys…Nobody is serving them nowadays: Now, they have to stand up to independent, strong, non-obedient and, worst of all, “talking” wives…As Newton’s Third Law states, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. It is not a surprise that Turkish girls are after foreign men, including Arab men. Guys, don’t be offended. Just reverse the reasons that draw you to foreign women, and you will see why Turkish girls are attracted to foreign men.Oh, what am I doing? My mailbox will be full of angry mails now… Never mind…I don’t know what’s going on in my Turkish husband’s mind about foreign women, but I really don’t want a foreign husband who cannot speak my language… I don’t want an obedient, non-talking husband… God, no.Though I would consider my chances with Andre Rieu, if we were both available… And maybe Josh Holloway, you know, “Sawyer” from “Lost,” although he may be too young for me… Or Julio Iglesias, although he is too old… Oh, also Kıvanç Tatlıtuğ, whatever age he is. (Yes, I know he is Turkish.)