The gold-medal winning Russian Olympic team has quite a bit in common with the cast of Gossip Girl. This is the dumbest best idea ever, but don't try to deny it. Or do. Whatever, it's happening with or without you. I mean, what goes together better than Blair Waldorf and short sparkly skorts? NOTHING.

Evgeni Plushenko is Chuck Bass. Everyone has mixed feelings about these two. Some love the cockiness and others think they're whiners who need to STFU. Personally, I can't get enough of these two sexy babies.

strong>Yulia Lipnitskaia is Little J.

Precocious and sensitive, Yulia is the little J on ice. She's talented and intelligent and at 15, you know she is about to bust out right into her glamour goth phase. Get it, lil' Y.

Both known for being explosive (Blair = personality; Adelina = jumps), these two are a match made in heaven. (Or hell, if they hate you.) (FYI: They hate you.) Natural leaders who don't take no shit and will propel their team of rich bitches/Olympic superstars to victory.

Cool, calm, collected, and totally blonde. Plus, you know she'll always have the hots for Dan I mean Maxim (see below) I mean Dan.

A little too old to play the part, but a hottie nonetheless. Obviously wants to read you a book of his poetry, which is awful but is going to be published anyway. Because he is hot. HOT HOT HOT.

Plus, you know he and Serena are MTB:

This girl is just cool as hell, and the one you most want to be friends with. Educationally-minded, she's going places after she's done wasting her life away at Dan's dumb apartment/the ice rink.

Vladimir Putin is Bart Bass. TERRIFYING. Plus, he loves figure skating! (I think.) (Don't kill me!)

As for who Gossip Girl is, Мы никогда не скажу. (Uh, that's we'll never tell in cyrillic. I think. Any Russians in the house??)

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Photos via Getty

Laura Beck Laura Beck is a Los Angeles-based TV writer and frequent contributor to Cosmopolitan.com — her work has appeared in the New York Times, New Yorker, Jezebel, and the Village Voice.

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