I’m thinking about making these week-in-review posts a weekly thing. Again, kind of like Elliotte Friedman’s 30 Thoughts without professionalism and credibility.

“30 Dumb Thoughts…” No, no. We’ll work on it.

Anyway, here are some of my thoughts on each NHL team this week.

ANAHEIM DUCKS

Before the season I said the Ducks were my favourite to finish atop the Western Conference. Now they’re playing so poorly there’s talk of them bringing back Randy Carlyle. The #DangleJinx is strong.

ARIZONA COYOTES

Don’t look now but Arizona Coyotes legend Teemu Selanne thinks Max Domi will win rookie of the year.

BOSTON BRUINS

After a tough 0-3 start to the season, the Bruins have won their past two games, outscored their opponents 11-5 in the process, and suddenly nobody’s getting traded anymore. I mean, until their next loss, anyway.

Also here’s a fun stat from Sportsnet’s stats guru Steve Fellin: You know how everyone was freaking out about four different first overall picks scoring for the Oilers on Saturday night? The Bruins only have four first round picks on their entire roster. That number is the lowest in the NHL.

BUFFALO SABRES

The bad news for the Sabres is that outside of their 4-2 win over Columbus, they have scored just five goals in four games. The good news is that their next game is against the Leafs.

CALGARY FLAMES

The Flames’ season is off to a rough start and they’ve already discovered that playing in the same division as Connor McDavid probably isn’t going to be very fun. On a positive note however, Jonas Hiller already has a save of the year candidate.

CAROLINA HURRICANES

Heck of a stat from @Section_328 on Twitter: The Hurricanes’ win over Detroit on Friday was their first October win since October 19… 2013. Wowzers.

CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS

“We can’t afford Patrick Sharp anymore. We have to trade him.”

“Who do we replace him with?”

“There’s this kid in the KHL we could try.”

“Yeah right. That that’s gonna work.”

COLORADO AVALANCHE

The worse the Avs are, the more I wonder which contender Iginla is going to get traded to either this season or next.

COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS

Todd Richards might get fired because apparently he’s Columbus’ goalie.

At least tickets are cheap, I guess?

DALLAS STARS

If you, by some miracle, found a way to get both Tyler Seguin and Jamie Benn on your fantasy team, you’ll win your pool by Christmas.

DETROIT RED WINGS

Red Wings fans will want to read Elliotte Friedman’s piece on the controversial coach’s challenge, or lack thereof, in Detroit’s recent game against Montreal. Also, being “kitten-kicking mad” is now a thing.



EDMONTON OILERS



Some people say Sportsnet talks about Connor McDavid a lot. Which, I mean, yeah. Have you seen him?

Coaching McDavid has been so easy for Todd McLellan that he has more free time to pursue other hobbies.

FLORIDA PANTHERS

Jaromir Jagr is leading his team in scoring. If he finishes the season that way, it will be the 13th time Jagr has led an NHL team in scoring in his career. The first time he did this was at the end of the 1993-94 season with the Pittsburgh Penguins. Two of Jagr’s teammates, including his linemate Aleksander Barkov, were not even born yet. Jagr really is a living, breathing cartoon.

LOS ANGELES KINGS

Amazing: The Kings only have six goals. More amazing: The Ducks only have five.

MINNESOTA WILD

They lost to the Ducks but at least there was this.

MONTREAL CANADIENS

Have the Habs lost a game yet?

NASHVILLE PREDATORS

We might have just found the answer to our Iginla question.

NEW JERSEY DEVILS

“NO!!!”… “YES!!!”

NEW YORK ISLANDERS

John Tavares has seven points in his past three games and the Islanders’ next game is against Columbus. Eep.

NEW YORK RANGERS

“YES!!!” … “NO!!!”

OTTAWA SENATORS

Erik Karlsson got two assists while you were reading this.

PHILADELPHIA FLYERS

A combination of back-to-back shutout wins and a huge gap between games means the Flyers haven’t allowed a goal since October 10 (when they allowed seven).

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

Frame all the headlines about Sidney Crosby and Phil Kessel’s struggles. They’ll be worth something someday.

SAN JOSE SHARKS

This is Brent Burns.

ST. LOUIS BLUES

They keep saying Vladimir Tarasenko is a human being, and I think I believe them, but…

TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING

Jonathan Drouin has played six games and scored six points. That matches his games-played total from last season’s playoffs and improves on his playoff points total by 6000%.

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

According to Sportsnet stat guru Steve Fellin, when it comes to the first five shots of the game, Jonathan Bernier has allowed five goals on 15 shots so far this season. He allowed two goals on Montreal’s first five shots, one goal on Detroit’s first five shots, and another two goals on Pittsburgh’s first five shots. Is that a problem? Yep. Lost in that however is the fact that in each of those three games, the goals allowed on the first five shots were enough to win the game. Toronto scored once against Montreal, got shutout by Detroit, and only scored once on Pittsburgh.

Basically, Toronto has lost each of Bernier’s starts five shots or less into the game.

I don’t have a clever line for this one.

VANCOUVER CANUCKS

Daniel Sedin has 329 career NHL goals. This is not one of them.

But more importantly…

And now for a paid political message:

WASHINGTON CAPITALS

With three goals in three games, it would appear Alex Ovechkin has woken up. Get it? Because he slept in that one time? I’m not proud of myself…

WINNIPEG JETS

Who’s leading the Jets in scoring with eight points in six games? The other other other top 10 pick the Bruins dealt away: Blake Wheeler.