Which Bon Appétit Chef Would Win a Battle Royale?

Literally the Hunger Games.

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If you aren’t familiar with the Bon Appétit Youtube channel, you’re missing out on the greatest source of entertainment of our time.

While Bon Appétit was originally known as a fancy food magazine, their Youtube channel has inexplicably captured the hearts of young audiences across the world. Yes, it features recipe videos, but it’s so more than that.

Each test kitchen chef’s distinct personality shines through in their videos and the open, collaborative design of the Bon Appétit test kitchen allows different chefs to float in and out of the videos, often popping in to offer advice or do taste-tests for other chefs.

The rapport of the Bon Appétit chefs, from Claire Saffitz and Brad Leone to Molly Baz and Carla Lalli Music, makes for an almost Office-like vibe. Fans of the Youtube channel have favorite chefs, least favorite chefs, and favorite pairs. Even though on the surface they’re just chefs making recipe tutorials, you can’t help but become invested in their relationships and happiness.

If you haven’t watched their videos yet, I suggest starting with Brad’s “It’s Alive” series or Claire’s “Gourmet Makes” series.

And now that I’ve shown you how much I love the Bon Appétit test kitchen chefs, I’m going to find out what would happen if they fought to the death, Battle Royale-style. Enjoy!

In order from first to die to last to survive:

14. Adam Rapoport

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Adam is Bon Appétit’s editor-in-chief. Every chef in the test kitchen has a thinly-veiled hatred of him, probably due to his harsh criticism that comes off as less helpful and more just plain mean. I have no doubt that everyone in the test kitchen would team up to kill him first.

13. Amiel Stanek

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Sorry to this man, but Amiel would simply not be willing to do the dirty work of killing someone. He would probably be the first to give up.

12. Sohla El-Waylly

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Sorry, Sohla! Sohla seems like a really nice person but is a very new addition to the test kitchen and hasn’t yet formed the tight bonds that the other chefs have.

11. Christina Chaey

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Christina is a sweetheart — way too nice to even think of killing someone, especially not her fellow test kitchen chefs. She would feel too bad.

10. Rick Martinez

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Rick has too much of a nourishing personality to kill anyone. He’s almost a parental figure compared to the rest of the test kitchen and is far too cautious to sneak-attack a fellow chef.

9. Priya Krishna

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Priya definitely has a wild side and no shame, as she admits in her latest video. She would probably get a large portion of the kills, but her recklessness would ultimately do her in.

8. Alex Delany

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Delany would spend the whole time trying to track Brad down, but Brad would end up sniping him from behind with his weirdly precise sharpshooting skills.

7. Molly Baz

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Molly would likely team up with Carla, but would go for a risky kill that would be her downfall.

6. Andy Baraghani

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Andy is super fitness-focused and was a fast runner when he was a kid. However, his muscles wouldn’t get him very far in this tournament.

5. Chris Morocco

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Chris is undeniably smart and resourceful, and would likely be able to craft some fancy bow and arrow and survive off of wild berries. He would probably successfully set up an elaborate lookout post in a tree but would die after accidentally falling off a branch.

4. Carla Lalli Music

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Carla has the perfect mix of intellect and street smarts and would probably craft a camouflaged tent for herself. She would only die after Chris falls off his branch and crushes her.

3. Claire Saffitz

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Claire is both crafty and has an iron will, as evidenced by her conquest of the rigors and frustrations presented to her in “Gourmet Makes.” She would use her resourcefulness to brave the elements and would make smart and strategic kills, but would eventually drop dead after pushing herself past her physical and mental limits.

2. Brad Leone

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Jersey boi Brad has shown off several practical skills in his “It’s Alive” series, from shooting ducks to catfish noodling to camping. He’s most equipped for facing the wilderness, but is prone to making careless mistakes. If the last two chefs standing were Brad and Gaby, Gaby would probably sneak up behind him and push him into a ravine while he’s foraging for mushrooms.

1. Gaby Melian

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Gaby has an indescribable aura of pure power and energy. Although she’s barely five feet tall, I have no doubt that she would be the last one standing in a Bon Appétit battle to the death. Point blank, period.