A few days ago Ariana Grande, released the video for “God Is A Woman” and now I’m confused. People are calling it “feminist” and acting like it’s totally radical, but there are a lot of things I just don’t understand with saying this song is about feminism.

First of all, this is not a feminist song. The song is about being good at sex, which I’m all about—it’s 2018, what pop star doesn’t claim to be a sexpert? So why are people saying this song is radical because it calls God a female? The song is not about God being a woman. She sings, “you love it how I move you/ you love it how I touch you/ my one, when all is said and done/ you’ll believe God is a woman.” Translation: She’s saying she’ll sex you up so good you’ll think she’s God, or something along those lines. The only thing feminist about that is sexual empowerment; hell yeah for that, but I wouldn’t say that’s anything radical. Giving any gender to God is still a philosophy I find dated. With more and more people starting to leave gender as a choice to the individual, why would you force a gender upon God?

Secondly, what the actual hell is happening in this music video?

Ariana Grande, “God Is A Woman”

The whole video feels like idea vomit. It’s an overload of feminist and religious imagery mixed with random shit like puppet gophers screaming that feels overwhelming and confusing. It kind of reminds me of the video for Michael Jackson’s “Earth Song,” which is also a lot of random green screen, but with environment and natural disaster shots. At least Michael Jackson sticks to the theme. Ariana Grande goes from being a God, to just a woman getting bombarded by sexist remarks to some celestial being roaming around the universe and then a candlewick? I’m not sure, there is so much going on. It ends with an all-female version of Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel with Grande as God reaching out to Adam, which actually looks pretty cool.

My guess is that the people who created this video were like, “oh hey, she’s talking about God so let’s throw all the religious references we can think of, let’s even have a break so she can recite the bible verse Ezekiel 25:17 like they do in Pulp Fiction.” Then someone else was like, “but she’s also a woman and feminism is so hot right now, so let’s sprinkle a few references about how empowering she is.” And then there was that one Xanaxed out executive in the back struggling to appeal to the youth, so in a trance/robot voice they’re like, “must appeal to millennials.” So they add the scene with the weird screaming gopher puppets that resemble this viral clip that gets meme’d out all the time.

Overall, I think the video is confusing and hard to watch. However, without all this absurd imagery, I can see why this is a chart-topper pop song. It’s catchy and sexy and makes you feel good. Why try to make it all these other things that it’s just not? But hey, that’s not going to stop me from dancing to this jam at the bar. I enjoy singing along to a song about being a sex god just as much as the next person.