[dropcap]I[/dropcap]t began innocently enough. A group of men at a country club had a men’s only golf tournament. In retrospect, I suppose, that should have been the first warning sign. It is common knowledge that when men group together, to the exclusion of women, some nefarious purpose is afoot. OK, so maybe when buildings are burning down or bullets are flying on battle fields, or something goes bump in the night we might find a million or so exceptions. But better not to dwell on such trivialities, especially in light of what those misogynistic, toxically masculine golfers were up to.

You see, for their locker room party they ordered an ice sculpture. No, not just any ice sculpture, but one of a woman, butt nekkid, sitting with legs open (as though inviting a rape), sending a streaming flow of vodka from between her parted, seductively melting thighs.

Oh, the horror; the despicableness; the sexually objectifying vodka pissing depravity of it all.

Thank God and male feminists we have the likes of Christopher Kilmartin to put the thaw on this abomination, uncovering our denial of the violence against women that invariably ensues when blocks of ice are carved into particular, female forms and enjoyed in the hideous, shadowy world of male dominated golf tournaments.

They apparently have a mesmerizing effect, freezing the sensibilities of even good men (as if those exist), making them dangerous to the whole of womankind.

“[A]lthough I’m sure they didn’t realize it,” Kilmartin postulates in an article for National Organization of Men Against Sexism (NOMAS), “every one of them made it just a little more possible for any one of them to commit an act of violence against a woman.”

Kilmartin seems willing to give the men credit that the threat they are creating toward women was out of ignorance. Damn them all to hell, I say; the oppressive, leering, moustache twirling lot of them. We have only to look at Kilmartin’s erudite understanding of the matter to know why that any mollycoddling of these men (and I use that term loosely) is a grave mistake.

Kilmartin, the real postmodern man among men, lays out the plain, simple and unassailable facts as only a men’s studies scholar could, or would. He writes,

Men’s violence is the single most serious health problem for women in the United States. It causes more harm than accidents, muggings, and cancer combined. For women aged 15-44, an estimated 50% of emergency room visits are the result of violence at the hands of their husbands, boyfriends, ex-husbands, or ex-boyfriends.

Did you get that? The most serious health problem for women in the United States! Half of all women who visit the ER for treatment got there because some bastard was beating her! And we are wasting time on pink ribbons and breast cancer fundraisers?

Mind you, Chris (and I hope he doesn’t mind my using his name in such a familiar way) didn’t link or post any sources for his information; an understandable oversight, I am sure. It could happen to anyone, and often does in his milieu.

So I took the liberty of doing some checking.

It seems there is no actual evidence to support any of these claims. It did, however, appear to come directly from the mouth of former Surgeon General of the United States, Antonia Novello. Novello, sister-in-law to Don Novello, aka Father Guido Sarducci of Saturday Night Live fame, was the first female Surgeon General for the United States.

Novello’s statements were similarly unsupported with research. They actually appeared more to be a bit of a political rant for the media, but of course we won’t let that rustle our feathers, either. Men’s studies, and in no small part due to efforts by men like Chris, has blessed us by removing the burden of hard evidence in forming opinions about social realities.

He got the numbers from a credible person, after all, an esteemed doctor and politician. That should be enough, right? I don’t even think we should pay much mind to the fact that our first female surgeon general was also the first surgeon general to be convicted of a felony after leaving office.

Novello was charged in a 20 count indictment on May 12, 2009, in New York with theft of government services, defrauding the government and filing a false instrument.On June 26, 2009, in a plea deal with prosecutors, she pleaded guilty to one charge of filing a false document involving a worker’s duties.

Certainly things like fraud and filing false documents by a politician should not cause us to question her veracity. After all, for all we know those brigands at the country club set her up for a fall.

They might have done the same number on NOMAS’s Barry Goldstein. Goldstein, whose JD is touted proudly on the pages of the NOMAS website, is, among other things, the co-chair of the NOMAS Task Group on Child Custody.

Oh yes, he was also stripped of his law license for committing fraud on a court in a case that involved domestic violence.

I am not faulting Chris for the company he keeps. After all, there is a mission here, and the ends obviously take precedence over credibility and accuracy. Quoting convicted felons, hanging with disgraced shysters and fabricating facts are just necessary measures in the age of frozen vaginas.

And this brings to mind some need for action by all of us interested in using masculine power to mindlessly sacrifice for the benefit of women everywhere, against all enemies, foreign or domestic, real or imagined, proven or perjured.

First, there is the matter of the USDOJ. They are spreading disinformation about the incidence of domestic violence related emergency room visits.

The DOJ reports that 17% of those requiring ER treatment for violence-related injuries, about 243,000 persons, had been injured by someone with whom they had an intimate relationship; a husband, ex-husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, or ex-girlfriend.

This is curious, and where the math gets fuzzy, given we live in a nation that hosts over 116 million ER visits per annum.

Note that these numbers reflect treatment for violence related injuries, again which only make up 17% of all emergency room visits, and that the numbers also included male victims

Wha? Male Victims? No bother, we can correct that later.

Anyway, let’s see what we have to do in order to understand the importance and accuracy of Chris’s numbers. According to the DOJ, women were more likely than men to have been injured by an intimate. So let’s assume for the sake of postmodern guises that there was only one man who was treated for injuries by a woman in that group. And let us also assume that no women at all were injured by strangers or other acquaintances in the commission of crimes like rape and robbery.

There now, that only leaves us with the need to accept that 99.085% of all ER visits are men, and that half of the remaining .015% of visits that represent women are those brought on by physically abusive partners or former partners, all of whom are male. Viola, there you have it. 50% of all ER visits by women are because of IPV. It has to be true, right? Were it not, then that would make Christopher Kilmartin an intentionally deceptive piece of rent-seeking pond scum. And how could a man who keeps the company he does be anything like that?

More vodka, please. Cold and neat and make it a double.

And speaking of drinking, has the DOJ staff been hitting the super chilled vaginal vodka themselves, or is something else wrong here? It can’t be Chris, as he has already demonstrated the awesome credibility of his sources and those of NOMAS as well.

We will simply have to work harder at this. So my fellow men, I implore you, help me stop the spread of the DOJ propaganda machine. It starts with us, of course. Please confront each other accordingly.

And who knows where it may take us. Chris has unveiled a seemingly innocuous bit of fun by golfers for the pernicious and sinister threat to women that it is. And he has proven it with statistical evidence suitable to be recorded with the finest crayons.

But this rabbit hole may run much deeper than we know at present. I mean can you ever look at a fountain like this (see right) again, in the same way, now that you know the truth? How many wars has this “art” caused? How much degradation and shame? And how many Lorena Bobbit’s are out there, one visual image away from wielding a knife of vengeance on behalf of all women?

I don’t know, but I intend to help.

It seems clear that men like Christopher Kilmartin and Michael Kimmel (Kilkimmel for the sake of brevity), are now intent on getting their message out there past the insulated, back patting circles of feminist academe. They are now posting to sites like The Good Men Project, spreading the word about evil masculinity and how feminist doctrine can help us all build a better, more principled world (after all, look what it did for the attorney general’s office- and the credibility of NOMAS).

I want the readers of A Voice for Men to know that I am going to be out there doing my part; shedding light on Kilkimmel’s work, and passing it around as much as possible so everyone can have a good, long sobering look at what these men really represent.

In fact, I’d say that 2011, hell or high water, is going to be a year dedicated to following their efforts, and heeding their call to ask good men to do something about it.