To celebrate the publication of his latest book, Thing Explainer: Complicated Stuff in Simple Words, Randall Munroe – author of What If?, ‘nerd royalty’ and all-round genius – set his fans a challenge: the world’s hardest treasure hunt.

First the distance on the map needed to be plotted from a location touched on in the paragraph about the city. In Oxford it was Merton College (associated with William of Ockham); in Cambridge the descendant of Newton’s apple tree; in Edinburgh the birthplace of Alexander Graham Bell; in Bristol the tower on the Clifton side of the Clifton Suspension Bridge; and in London the Royal Institution where ten elements were discovered. The end destination was a bookshop where they could pick up the rules of the game (see below). Tasked to write a story of at most 250 words, using only the words on Thing Explainer’s list of ten hundred words people use most, XKCD fans rushed to take up the challenge …

And the results were incredible, as you’ll see from the winning entry from Matt ‘Dingus’ Taylor:





A man, alone, removed, his heart confused. He loves the girl but she another man. The third, surprised, knows not at all of them. She wants a beautiful mind. His efforts, less pretty. He ThInKS He CaN WIn HEr IF SHe NoTiCeS HIS BRaInS. IF He PrOVEs He KNOWS ReAsON. IF He CaN Be FUNNiEr. HIS PaInS, ONCe HIS HoPEs, NeVEr PAuSe. He needs to explain things. Cares he almost never can easily say. He often tries, though expects refusing. At last, one new effort. The third, the reader, the funny sir from across the sea, a man who can say “I give a thing explainer to anyone there who tells greatest imagining”. However, questions put to him first needed work and then the men agreed word play and language most hard must be used. Why? The hours pass, his mind, the lettered paths so long circled, thinks of only broken words. Finally, among those torn forms, started a very pleasing picture. A chance to show he sees a beautiful, caring, deep, exciting, funny girl. Heart heavy, his hopes, however, ignored, jokes knocked, love missed, nothing offered or promised, quietly refused. She stays true, until very worn, writing. Yes, even love loses if not grabbed. Cry. The third man laughs, perhaps, or cries, time continues for him. The girl, an image of a beautiful mind, fades from view. The man, his story written, remains alone, confused. Holding a dream. Another game over.

Finally understanding, chances killed. Tonight he is silent.





Stay tuned for the runner-up entries …





Thing Explainer: Complicated Stuff in Simple Words and What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions by Randall Munroe are available now.