Toxic Leadership:

Bad In The Military;

So In The Gurdwara.

Janam Da Firangee,

Sikhi Mai Mangee

FATEHPAL SINGH TARNEY









I was in the middle of writing one of my recent columns when I encountered an issue in an online Sikh discussion group as well as a minor incident at my local Gurdwara Sahib.



Before I address Sikh topics, I would like to discuss some dysfunctional practices in the military that have often been written about under the heading ‘Toxic Leadership‘. I believe that my military experiences and those within the community have much in common.



In my own military experience, I have had leaders keenly interested in unit morale. People who knew that it was vital for them to respect and appreciate even the lowest ranking enlisted men, especially in times of war when it was such men who were expected to fight and perhaps die in battle.



These leaders knew that this was not only the pragmatic thing to do in terms of morale and performance in combat, but also the honorable thing to do – treat subordinates as human beings.



On the other hand, I joined a particular battalion in which the leadership had no interest whatsoever in unit morale.



Let me start at the beginning. When an enlisted man joins a new unit in the Marines – at least in my day - he has a sheet of paper requiring the signature of various senior sergeants and commissioned officers. Not one of these people said one word to me – they just signed in the space provided and sent me on to the next person on the sheet.



It was as if I were merely a replacement part on a machine or automobile. What would it have taken for any of these senior non-commissioned or junior commissioned officers to have said something like, “Welcome to our battalion,” or “Where are you from, Marine?”



The commanding officer, a lieutenant colonel; the executive officer, a major; and the sergeant major – the highest ranking enlisted man responsible for being the liaison between the officers and enlisted men -- never, in my experience, ever said anything positive or encouraging to any lowly private or corporal. I do remember them singling out such people for nasty criticisms for very minor infractions.



I recall the sergeant major ordering his jeep to come to a screeching halt so that he could charge out of it and rush up to an enlisted man he thought had a dirty rifle. This was a fellow who had just returned from a patrol!



The major, the executive officer, had an obsession with dog tags, which, of course, identified individual Marines. I am not questioning the importance of wearing dog tags. However, here was this major's approach:



In the evenings in Vietnam, at our rear area base camp, as many as a hundred Marines would shower at the same time. Occasionally, an unfortunate, lowly enlisted man would come to the showers wrapped in a towel, but without his dog tags. This major went completely ballistic: yelling, screaming, and actually jumping up and down reprimanding this individual who would, in turn, hurry back to his tent for his dog tags.



I shall never forget troops rushing back to their tents to get their dog tags with a naked major in hot pursuit. This only drew the attention of everyone to the fact that this major had only one testicle. Due to disease, injury, or some congenital issue, this was the reality. This became a surreptitious joke throughout the battalion. Now, had he been more considerate and dignified in his approach to enlisted men, his male deficiency would have been totally ignored. And he would have enjoyed greater respect, authority and loyalty.



I also recall him reprimanding a sergeant for having a mustache he considered too long – as if trimming it contributed to the war effort. I wonder what this major would have thought of the late Field Marshall Sam Manekshaw!



The commanding officer of this dysfunctional battalion never bothered speaking to all the enlisted men – neither before nor after our arrival in Vietnam. Yet, his superior officer, a full colonel, the regimental commander, did take the time to speak to our entire battalion. The contrast between the aloof approach of the battalion commander and the more caring approach of the regimental commander, was not lost on any of the troops.



The last story I'll share of the toxic leadership in this battalion pertains to a mortar attack by the Viet Cong. The commander and the sergeant major ordering all of us to put on helmets and chastising those who were slow to do so, whilst they did not have helmets on at any time during this attack! The idea of leading by example was quite alien to these leaders.



I cannot help but think of Sikh soldiers in turbans, but granted that I am biased in this regard, I maintain that the turban provides good protection from shrapnel. As we scurried into foxholes, there were whispers of how nice it would be were a mortar round to detonate in close proximity to these two so-called leaders.



This is what happens as a result of toxic leadership. I'll not burden my readers with other stories along these lines.



Now I turn to my own community.



I participate in several online Sikh discussion groups. I learn a lot from them. When someone writes something that I find particularly insightful and informative, I say so. There are, however, a number of participants who only participate when they have something negative to say.



For example, one writer was very upset that someone referred to our tenth Guru as Gobind Rai. That was in reference to his life before succeeding his father, Guru Tegh Bahadar.



To me, this was a tempest in a teapot! Gobind Rai was our tenth Guru's birth name – period!



I am very disappointed by some fellow Sikhs who seem to be so quick to accuse others of mistakes and wrongdoing. There are people in my Sadh Sangat who function as self-appointed but sadly untrained and unskilled watchdogs – always on the lookout for Gurdwara protocol infractions. I often wonder how much prayer and awareness of the Divine goes on in their minds. They are quick to reprimand, and even yell in a nasty way, at a person who inadvertently enters the Diwan hall without a head covering.



I have found that a gentle tap on the shoulder is sufficient to remind a person to cover his or her head and that humiliation is not consistent with Sikh values. Some of these people react to inadvertent mistakes as though someone were setting fire to the gurdwara!



I have observed some Sikh men and women singing Shabads about peace, happiness, humility, compassion, forgiveness and then showing zero hospitality to visitors – not even a smile. I have seen some of these people do langar seva, and serve food with a frown on their faces.



Why do it at all? There are those who honor God with their lips, but their hearts and actions are very distant from Waheguru.



I do golak seva – counting money received in offerings, every Sunday. We were shorthanded last Sunday in terms of sevadars, so a guest offered to help us. This assistance was appreciated. Then, one of our usual ‘watchdogs’ came up to him from across the Diwan hall, scolding him loudly for sitting with his back to our Guru Granth Sahib.



Well, he was not sitting this way at all. Must we resort to surveying equipment to determine precisely at what angle a person is sitting?



A caveat: I make these observations not from a position of perfection -- I am a Sikh, not a saint.





March 25, 2017



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Bad In The Military;

So In The Gurdwara.

Janam Da Firangee,

Sikhi Mai Mangee" * Your Name



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