Warning: This post contains graphic language and snakes.

Next time you're trying to convince a newly goth 17-year-old not to get their ears gauged, why not tell them tale of one Ashley Glawe, a Portland resident with ear gauges and a pet python who recently became internet famous for getting her python lodged in her earlobe.

Apparently, Glawe and her pet snake Bart were just hanging out, as snakes and humans do, when Bart slithered his way through the hole in her ear.

I'll wait while you scream into a bag for ten minutes.

BY FAR one of my #CRAZIEST life moments! Went to the #EmergencyRoom because my #BallPython #Python #Snake decided to get... Posted by Ashley Canaday on Monday, January 23, 2017

Turns out Bart was hanging out on her shoulders when Glawe thought he started attacking her head. "I like froze instantly," she told CNN about the nightmare event.

"If he forces his way through, he's gonna split my earlobe," Glawe said.

According to CNN, the snake wasn't attacking but "pythons just like hiding in holes."

Oh, great.

CURRENT SITUATION... I was holding my #SNAKE and his #DUMB ASS saw a hole, which just so happened to be my fuckin... Posted by Ashley Canaday on Monday, January 23, 2017

Glawe said she tried to get him out by herself but couldn't. So she said the fire department came. The fire department was unable to remove BART so instead, Glawe said she went to the emergency room, where doctors numbed her ear and lubed her and Bart up and were able to get the snake out of the hole.

And that, children, is why you never let a snake near your gauge hole.

Bart, said Glawe, is totally fine.

-- Lizzy Acker

503-221-8052

lacker@oregonian.com, @lizzzyacker