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These are actual questions and answers from UK TV and Radio quiz shows, as compiled by Private Eye in their weekly Dumb Britain section:THE WEAKEST LINKAnne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?Contestant: Jool carriageway.Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?Contestant: Bombay.Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?Contestant: Crocodiles.Anne Robinson: Wh...?Contestant (interrupting): Pass!Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels: travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?Contestant: (long pause) Joe?Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?Contestant: Geronimo!NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SETEamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?Contestant: William Shakespeare.FAMILY FORTUNES1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon3) Name the capital of France? - F4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil8) A famous Scotsman? - Jock9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.0) A dangerous race? - The Arabs11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair14) A famous Royal? - Mail15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with wingsRADIO LINCS PHONE-INPresenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?Contestant: Barcelona.Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?Contestant: India.Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?Contestant: Espresso.Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.Contestant: Sydney.THIS MORNINGJudy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false?Contestant: True?Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that.BBC RADIO NEWCASTLEPaul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBCPresenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?Contestant: FourBBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOWWood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?Contestant: Er...Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...Contestant: Blimey?Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...Contestant: (Silence)Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...Contestant: Walked?DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIODaryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?Contestant: Holland?Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?Contestant: No.