Every person is their person. There are billions of people, and still, to reference this is generic. “Yes, there are people. What of it?” Well, I’m sure most adults have had the briefly lived epiphany sometime in their lives that each and every person among them is unique, and lives a unique and complex life, intertwining with every other person. I’ve heard dozens of people discuss it. In class rooms, forums, chat rooms, and personal conversations. It’s so much to take in; to appreciate, that it gets put aside, and dismissed, because like all of them, we have our own lives to concern ourselves with. Isn’t that incredible? The vastness of thought, and memory, and experience. We could connect and share and gain such insight, because the human mind has such capacity for that, but just as equally, a capacity for distraction, and self-priority for sake of survival. We’ve separated, and distracted ourselves so much that we might have lost what is our identity.

These days “identities” are just something to get stolen, and I could say that carries relevance to my point (that I’m just milking the hell out of). Our identities form that distraction to connection with other humans. Our identities help us choose a career, and a life path, but… So many of us cannot wrap our minds around our identities. We’re all so complex, you know. Even the most “simple” people have a story and an explanation, and are usually taking the weight of it for granted. Get to know a “simple man” or “simple girl.” They often over-simplifying something very grand; their life. Every person carries so much value, and every person, at one time or another, forgets. We hear “love yourself” endlessly. No one tells you “understand yourself.” I don’t mean every little thing. I mean all the big things. If you don’t know who you are, what makes you happy, why it does that, then how can you love yourself? How can you find that career that will satisfy your needs? So, people go unemployed, they get depressed, lazy, apathetic and resentful, and sometimes, steal identities. Mostly, we just suffer through jobs and careers we don’t really enjoy.

“Finding yourself” has become quotably cliche, but it’s so gratifying to really discover yourself. Those moments of “I did not know that about myself” are enjoyable, even when it’s acknowledging a flaw. Understanding is fulfilling. Human minds are sponges. We need language. We need to touch, smell, hear, see, we just have to know. Curiosity killed the cat, but enabled man. To understand is appeasing, but to understand yourself is awakening. Bewildering even. You suddenly want to know more, and then you want to use it. Self discovery is a personal journey that you’re never too old to take.

I’ve started mine at 22. I wouldn’t have guessed I was actually one of the young self-discoverers. Part of the reason for this is that we grow. We’re always evolving into a greater version of ourselves. It’s when we stop that we become stubborn and crotchety old people. I didn’t know who I was, because I feared it. I was afraid to be what I am, because “what if I’m not the best? What if I’m a second rate writer? What if I’m not creative enough?” This is only one part of me, though, and it’s only a title. Do you know how many means there are of writing? More than I’ve done. I journal and blog and write profiles and long comments. I could do any number of things. Even if I’m not a journalist, comedian, novel writer, T.V. writer, there’s correspondence. There’s speech assistance. There’s the tools and ideas that make me write, that can be applied elsewhere. There’s no such thing as “just a writer.” There’s the “of.” There’s the style. There’s the motive. There’s a person. I have more to offer. I am an entire person, and writing is only one part.

In the non-fiction novel What Color Is Your Parachute?: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career Changers 2013 Edition by Richard Bolles, some tough homework is assigned. I struggled. I am lucky to have a wonderful, supportive mother to help me. Not only has she helped shape my identity, but now, she has helped me begin to discover it. I was assigned a simple list to make. “Who am I?” Ten personal, positive, marketable identifiers. Then expand on them. What “turns you on” about it? Why did you you say it? First, I had to discover what are ten worthy, likable titles I carry. This took me much longer than it should have, and almost every thing I wrote was very obvious. Then, with these ten titles, I had to make ten pages, and elaborate. There’s so much to each one, and they relate to each other. On top of this challenge, I had to prioritize them. I laid them all out, and ordered and reordered them. This helped me expand on them even more, because I had to think about why it was more important. Why were any less important? Well, number one, I am a writer. I enjoy it. I get to use my inquisitive, communicative, inspired nature. Number ten is that I am bilingual. This had the shortest expansion, and it isn’t something I use all that often. Sign language was my first language, but I only use it around my mom, and I’m not very fluent. It was my first language, though, and has in part formed me as a person, it’s valuable, but the things I most value about being bilingual are already a big part of all my other titles. Intelligence, communication, versatility. The last step is just to make a list of the recurring themes and descriptors. This is the list that makes your work satisfactory to you.

Such a small inventory to take stock of, but so well hidden, and under-valued that I have dismissed it for years. I knew I had most of the qualities I listed, but putting a title on myself almost didn’t even feel right. It felt misleading, but who am I misleading? Who is this for? Myself. This is strictly to understand my nearest potential. Then, let it grow. Let them all entwine, relate, empower each other. Your identity has a place among all the other identities you see every day. In a perfect world, everyone would know what would fulfill their own purposes. Identity is just a loose word for your name and credit these days, but really, it’s more valuable than your finances, it’s what puts your world in order. I’m on my way right now.