Cara Maria Sorbello explains what really happened on this week's episode of MTV's The Challenge: Final Reckoning and who has each other's backs and why

After winning MTV’s The Challenge: Vendettas earlier this year, Cara Maria Sorbello is back in action for her 12th season, Final Reckoning. As she vies for the $1 million prize alongside rival and partner Marie Roda, she’s blogging about it exclusively on PEOPLE! Follow Cara Maria on Twitter at @CaraMariaMTV.

Consider tonight’s installment as part recap, part serious breakdown of the alliances — and there’s a lot to cover!

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When we last left off, Mercenaries Hunter and Ashley crashed the Armageddon party to fight for a spot in the main house against Faith and Angela.

Armageddon: No Slack

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Players are tied to their teammates and must punch and crash through six dry walls to ring a bell at the other end. Losers head to Redemption House.

So was there a male-female team handicap? Yep! Hunter gets a thicker wall to have to bust through, and his team also gets a shorter slack line, leaving them less room to wind up and punch.

Faith takes off like the Tasmanian boxing devil and crushes her first wall. As soon as she crawls through and gives her teammate slack, Angela bosses through her wall with no trouble at all. Unfortunately, Faith used all her energy too fast and gasses out at her last wall, leaving a frustrated Angela unable to advance.

On the other side, Ashley has a rough start until she finally uses what she’s so famous for… her head skills. She head-butts through her last wall and dives through, giving her partner the slack he needs to advance. Hunter Hulk-smashes everything in his way. That broken wrist from Dirty 30 is a distant memory. It couldn’t be more obvious that Hunter came hungry for a win this season.

Immediately after, Angela is frustrated. Faith is laying on the ground gassed out for an extended period of time while being treated by medics. And Kyle is nowhere to be found to see if she is OK or even to give her a hug goodbye. Meanwhile, Ashley is thirsty to WINE down with her Lavenders (Shane, Amanda and Sylvia) and before Hunter can even fist bump his Young Buck boy, Nelson, he is already screaming at the only name in his heart and mind, Mister Bananas.

In today’s Armageddon, we have only exchanged an all-female team for a strong male/female team. Eight episodes in, we have only truly eliminated two teams. The rest are on vacation in the Redemption House.

Kyle’s latest conquest

As I said last week, I was excited to have Ashley in the house. I thought she would be great to add some humor and make things fun. On the bus ride back, I caught her up on what she missed with Kyle and Faith and told her my feelings on it. I thought Kyle would try with her as well. She mentioned Kyle wasn’t her type anyway. This is the girl who came in as a mercenary on Vendettas when I was waving her down to update her on the house drama and show off the pirate I scored. She follows me on social media. She comments on my stories. She saw Kyle and my adventures together. She comes into the house well-informed on my feelings and past and sleeps with him on night one anyway.

Ashley played games in Shane’s room with me. She listened while I girl-talked with her about my feelings. Meanwhile, she is keeping up the lie to my face. Again, I am the only one in the house to be completely oblivious and the last one to know anything. I am once again a joke to all the girls in the Lavenders’ room. Not one person has the courtesy to give me a heads up on anything. A simple, “Yo Cara, let this go, he is doing this behind your back and everyone knows and you look like a joke. Just be aware,” would have been nice.

Speaking of people who name their groups of friends (because acting like you are in high school never goes out of style). Let me break it down for you…

The Lavenders

Established: 2017 on Invasion of the Champions

Original Members: Shane, Sylvia, Ashley, Amanda

“Honorary” New Additions: Kayleigh and Kam

Enemies: Me, Camila, Laurel (though not anymore since Laurel is anti-Cara now), Johnny Bananas. They also hate Natalie, Paulie, my horse (I don’t get it either), and generally anyone who is remotely different from them or generally comfortable being alone.

Favorite fighting words: “No one likes you,” “Loser,” “Weirdo,” “You are annoying and have no friends,” “Get a real job, “You have no life”

Now that the group of girls is reunited, the house dynamic is changed for the worse. The Lavenders are feeling powerful in their numbers. They are riding high and ready to exert all the petty, shady, nastiness they can dish to anyone who isn’t “one of them.”

The Young Bucks (“TYB”)

Established: 2017 on Dirty 30

Original Members: Hunter, Nelson, Cory (Cory is obviously not on this season, but having Hunter and Nelson together with Lavender partners creates ultimate power.)

Enemies: Johnny Bananas. That is basically it. Just Johnny.

Favorite fighting words: “You are old,” “We are taking your place,” “You have no one”

It’s clear that the tides are changing in the Challenge house. It looks as though if you aren’t juvenile enough to label your group of friends, you might be in trouble.

Shady Shane and his many vendettas

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Angela: She could not take his bad girl crown so she damn well couldn’t take his closet space either. Now she has all the space she needs in Redemption House.

Me: I thought we were getting along until the bus ride after the winery trip where he unleashed his feelings on me. He hates that I am friends with Johnny and that I laugh at Johnny’s jokes instead of Marie’s. This is not even a lie. He said this. He then was mad that I didn’t follow him on social media or try to be friends with him outside of the show. I kid you not. This was the argument. It isn’t worth wrapping my brain around to even argue back. Of course his favorite word “entitled” came up a lot, but never any receipts or examples to back up that claim. It seems to me the Lavenders are most threatened by someone who is confident and comfortable being alone. They especially can’t understand a person so OK with being alone that he/she does not need numbers to get to a final. That’s their problem, not mine.

Johnny Bananas: I can’t sort out if Shane has a crush on Johnny, really hates him, or wants to be him. He attacks Johnny at every turn and again uses the word “entitled” with him. He is doing everything he can to take down “the King.” I believe everyone who makes a big effort to fight with Johnny is just trying to steal some spotlight off him. They know Johnny is a big name in these games and think the best way to get on his level is to try to knock him down to theirs. Confident people don’t try to steal light from others because they shine enough on their own.

Da’Vonne: She wouldn’t go with the group voting after Shane tried to save her team. Now she is public enemy No. 1 in Shane’s eyes. They do have a sit-down chat in this episode and both agree to play nice. Fast-forward to the confessionals where it is clear they both see through each other and are not backing down at all.

Jozea: Where do I begin? These two have had it out for each other since Champs Vs Stars. Shane (along with Sylvia) throws the challenge this time around just to ensure Jozea and Johnny do not win. They have it out in an explosive battle on the playing field where Jozea tears him apart piece by piece before he drops the mic (and his catchy hit single “Tony Montana” plays).

Redemption House surveillance time!

It’s looking like movie night for the Redemption cast is just a peep show of who Kyle is sleeping with next. We see Ashley and Kyle getting it on in Faith’s old bed. Faith is somehow hurt. She literally cried tears in the main house when he wouldn’t pay attention to her unless he was trying to sleep with her. After elimination, when she was laying on the ground, he never went to her with a hug goodbye or anything. Why does this many treat women like crap and yet we are still affected by his actions?! Is it the tattoos? The accent? The charming compulsive lies he tells? What is it? We are better than this. I hate having emotions.

Challenge: Don’t Push Me Around

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Two teams battle to run a ball from the opponent’s side of the field to the goal on their side. Girls can only tackle girls; guys can only tackle guys. The team that wins gets to choose a duo within their team as the Power Team who is safe from elimination and gets two votes in nomination.

Let’s be real: Whether we win or lose, Marie and I are never going to sway people to give us immunity. We are on that chopping block, so we are just in it for the fun of the game today.

After a shut-out two rounds, it’s clear that the blue team had an overwhelming advantage. Two members of the green team (Sylvia and Shane) were basically playing for blue. Props to Joss and Nelson who still risked life and limb while playing their hearts out for the win and love of competition.

We give Zach and Amanda immunity since no one will agree on anything else. And we watch the fireworks of Jozea and Shane as they literally leave it all on the field.

What is next in this crazy Challenge chapter? Stay tuned with me as I break down all the tea for you week by week. Oh, and ’til next time, don’t label your friend groups. And always be proud of being weird.