The New York faithful are convinced about the Curse of OBJ just a few days into training camp.

The rumblings from East Rutherford, New Jersey up to the Big Apple have begun. At first a lighthearted joke when fourth-year WR Sterling Shepard suffered a fractured finger, Giants fans have entered mass hysteria. WR Corey Coleman fell next, tearing his ACL. Then, WR Golden Tate received a four-game suspension for violating the NFL's policy on performance-enhancing drugs.





Petitions have crept into public consciousness all over town. 20,000 fans have demanded wide receivers Cody Latimer and and Bennie Fowler practice in pads made of bubble wrap. A Brooklyn divorce lawyer, who is twice divorced himself and has taken to wearing capris in middle-age, contacted the league office about the legal precedence for making opposing teams count Three-Mississippi before rushing QB Eli Manning this season.





What does it all mean? It's official. It's a curse. The Babe giveth, and OBJ taketh away. The New York Giants traded their best player. Now, they won't win another championship this century. That pervading belief has led to ticket sales plummeting. Half of the Giants' season ticket holders already declined to renew their once-prized seats.





One 8-month pregnant woman wept in her $3,000/month studio apartment for five, stating, "86 years. 86 years. I've seen my last Super Bowl. My baby isn't even born yet, and she'll need a walker the next time we lift the Lombardi."





Another downtrodden fan, a New York City Subway busker and self-proclaimed expert on the Tampa 2, just prays that Eli Manning won't still be starting in 2105. "If he's still manning the huddle, I promise you we won't take it home that year," the busker proclaimed. "And if not then, when? What's after that? 87 years? 88?!"





Most fans broke down and cut interviews short when reminded that the team hasn't won since 2012, so the curse could officially result in 93 years without a fifth ring.