The world we live in is not a simple one. Every day, we are faced with a seemingly endless assault of information, emotion, and experience. It can be difficult to process all that, and many of us are left with inadequate coping mechanisms, poor outlooks, and a general apathy that can leave life feeling hollow and tedious.

There was a time once, for most of us, when we used to be more happy — when we viewed the world through a lens of freedom, possibility, and innocence. There was a time we cherished the little joys of our day-to-day existence, and carried on as if we were always on a grand adventure. Somewhere along the way, the stress and challenges of making our way in the world became a burden we had to bear, and that weighs us down in a way we fail to recognize.

We all find different ways of assuaging our fears and disappointments: some isolate themselves, some find reprieve in denial and fantasy, and others lash out against their fellow man. I drank. When life was too much to bear, I found solace at the bottom of a bottle, and for a short time, I could pack all my worries into a little bundle and put them away. Alcohol made it easy to run away. That was my story for years — I drank and ran away from life, and for some time it worked for me. Later, it would nearly take my life, but in doing so, it taught me one great lesson that I still carry with me: the power of perspective.

We all have that inner child that still wonders at the world and has meaning, but finding a way to get back to that viewpoint is more involved than it seems at first. For many, we must struggle for years or decades before we find the clarity or opportunity to find that long gone fascination with life. Some may never find it.

After I quit drinking for the first time, my life was a wreck. I didn’t know what was wrong with me or how I had ended up where I was. I had a good upbringing free from significant worry or any distinct trauma — what right did I have to be depressed and drinking myself to death? What I didn’t know at the time was that I lacked perspective. The rigors of adult life had put a load on me and cast a shadow on my life; I was a sad, lonely outline of what I used to be, and none of my problems had magically vanished on account of my sobering up. I relapsed over and over again. I felt like I had held up my end of the deal and gotten nothing in return. I was viewing the tests I faced as inconveniences, when they were incredible lessons.

Then, I found some perspective, and it all made a little more sense. I had just quit drinking again, but this time felt different. One day I just woke up and remembered the person I was before life beat me down. It was striking and nostalgic, and despite all outward appearances, that person didn’t feel that far from me. It was as if a requisite amount of time or sorrow had come to pass, and the fog had cleared. Old songs put me in a long gone but familiar place; the feeling of a crisp breeze brought to mind other winds that held my attention through the years; the world was alive in a way it hadn’t been for some time, and it brought me back to a place I had once been when everything was dear to me. I didn’t feel like I was starting another journey — for the first time since I had become an adult I felt like I was arriving somewhere instead.

I learned that the most important way we exert control over our own lives is through perspective: the way we view the things that happen to us is powerful, and completely alters the mindset we have around existing and why we are here. When we radiate positivity and embrace difficulty as necessary to learning, we overcome it more easily. This forces us to accept discomfort and inconvenience as inherently beneficial to us in some way.

Most of us tend to avoid pain whenever we can. That is because we are conditioned to run away from our problems. The weight of living teaches us that ignorance is bliss, and that the easiest way to delay failure is to not try. Framed in this manner, it seems appalling! But that is your reality if you are skating through life and phoning it in. You are denying your true nature, and denying yourself happiness. Instead, shift your viewpoint to one of optimism and results will follow.

The path to being carefree is not through the avoidance of pain — it is a shift in mindset that allows the events of life to unfold with relative ease. It is an altruistic, accepting, and adaptable awareness that emanates from a belief that life is a challenge, and not a series of appointments with luck. Reframe your pain instead of running from it.

These truths radically shaped my new outlook, and in them I found the strength I had always needed. You too can find these joys — you just need to change the way you look at the world. Then, you can find the person you used to be.