50 States of McMansion Hell: Top 10 Wake County, North Carolina McMansions

Hello Friends! Today is one of my special posts, from a very special state - the state I’m from! Originally, I was going to do one house, like I usually do, but as I scrolled through pages of incredible architectural mishaps, I realized I wouldn’t be doing my the capital county of my special state justice. Fortunately, for you, you get ten special eyesores - North Cackalacky Style!

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The best part of this house is that the side-house would be cute and normal, should one decide to trim the roof down to size.

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Fun Fact: the French word “chateau” means “large French country house, or castle, usually with a winery attached.” It does not mean “Large American Suburban house with a basement wine cellar complete with signs that say ‘Wine Time’ just in case you didn’t get the memo.”

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Sometimes I forget that pinestraw is used as a landscaping material because there are no pine trees in Baltimore able to grace their immediate area with their prickly brown bounty. Also, I wonder why so many houses in NC had the copper-topped bay window, especially 2000-2006? If I did, there’d be a paper on it.

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Full Level Pringles Can: The Movie: (doom anime sound/visual effects, but it’s just this house sitting there, but anime)

(scoffing voice) I bet they changed the look to Tudor right after Kate Middleton got engaged.

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Me, yelling at contractor: I DON’T CARE HOW YOU DO IT BUT I NEED MY STAIRCASE TURRET

Also the best part is all the turret rooflines have varying degrees of smushedness.

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AHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHH

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Photo by Jim Bowen (CC BY 2.0)

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Okay, but at least I’ve never been this late:

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FULL SPEED AHEAD CAPTAI- BLEURRRGHHHREHRHE

Finally, the NUMBER ONE HOUSE IN WAKE COUNTY, NORTH CAROLINA:

My only dream is that this house was self-built by a pack of wolves, and they, in fact, are having a nice time living there, thank you very much.

Well folks, that does it for North Carolina! Join us this weekend for American Foursquares, and next Tuesday for our Certified Dank™ North Dakota McMansion.

Have a great week!

If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon! Also JUST A HEADS UP - I’ve started posting a GOOD HOUSE built since 1980 from the area where I picked this week’s McMansion as bonus content on Patreon!

Not into small donations and sick bonus content? Check out the McMansion Hell Store ! 100% of the proceeds from the McMansion Hell store will go to help victims of the recent hurricanes.

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs are used in this post under fair use for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2017 McMansion Hell. Please email kate@mcmansionhell.com before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)