FASHION, HANG TO THE LEFT. Imaxtree

A sure highlight of this season's menswear shows during Paris Fashion Week: the Rick Owens fall/winter 2015 collection. If you love dick, that is. (Or if you're a guy who loves a breeze running along your foreskin and balls on a cool fall's afternoon, I suppose.)

Writes William Van Meter, in a review of the Owens show for The Cut, "2015 is shaping up to be about the bulge in fashion land." How exciting. After a series of "conventional" menswear looks — and that's conventional by Owens' grunge rock-alypse sportswear aesthetic, at least — the collection skewed toward rampant voyeurism and exposed peens akimbo. But it was spiritual, maybe?

Then a kind of religious tribal element seeped in with shiftlike robes, some dangling with fluttering materials reminiscent of wind chimes. Some of them had an arched peephole opening revealing the model's manhood. This actually heightened the religiosity aspect. It wasn't done in bad taste, but it was mysterious, like sending out bold fertility gods.

Or, without much of that pseudo-religious, phallus-worshipping context, it's like an extra neckline or collar stitched in the monastic-style garments. Of course, the only head poking out is ... well, it's a glans. That's the joke:

Van Meter says he spotted three penises total; a close analysis of the zoom function on photos of the collection in The Cut's runway gallery reveals what looks like a wrinkly testicle or two in look #17, a real missed opportunity in both looks #21 and #22, and a hole in look #15, among others, that unfortunately falls an inch or two below where a penis would/should be dangling if it weren't busy elsewhere, or, you know, just feeling shy and shriveled. (Other runway photographers in the press pit will have had better luck at snapping the peen, hence the photos above in all their glory.) Crotch-level holes in the chunky knit onesies in looks #9 and #10 also revealed sad brown underwear, perhaps because all those wooly fibers would have made the models' balls itch too much backstage.

Oh, and the penises "flopped," Van Meter writes — though that's a description presumably of their motion on the runway, not of their stature. Remember: It's not nice to shame fashion models for their physiques, after all.

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Alex Rees Deputy Editor of News I’m the news director here at Cosmopolitan.com, and I could really use a cup of tea right now.

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