(Chris) And when the dust settles, we are all just people with problems. Maybe the dust made it worse, maybe not, but eventually, the dust settles. So why bother? Sometimes, we can learn things from the dust. Sometimes, the dust isn’t as innocuous as we think it is. Sometimes, the dust is much more malevolent than what Pledge can handle. For example, consider how dust changed the Midwest US during the Dust bowl . How about the dust that forever captured the lives of the Greeks in Pompeii ? Dust, even sweet sugar dust, can be explosive! Sometimes, the dust is worth paying attention to. This post is dedicated to some dust-kickers, Dolce and Gabbana , who have decided to cause some of us with lungs prone to reacting to this particular dust, to kick up dust of the anti-infertility friendly variety. Here is a snippet of a comment from Domenico Dolce:

“You are born to a mother and a father – or at least that’s how it should be. I call children of chemistry, synthetic children. Rented uterus, semen chosen from a catalog.”

Sun blocked, dust airborne, many of us choking, what do we do? Well, as a proud father of a “synthetic child,” I find their comments, provocative if not outright offensive. Their statement seems to suggest that our Jellybean is something less than 100% human. Would you be offended if someone said this of you? Your family? Your children? So, I decided to take this offense and turn it in on itself. I can tell you about how I had a bit of a run-in with someone on Instagram, or how Candace and I talked about how stupid and ignorant we felt these comments were, but really, all I would be doing is kicking up more dust. That just makes more people cough, offends more, separates people of different opinions to a greater extent. Not very productive. Instead, let’s see if we can incite some awareness.

Some people don’t like IVF. They don’t like the idea of human life starting in this ephemeral “test tube” (uh-uhm, really it is a petri dish, but that is splitting hairs). Ok, fair enough. It does seem a bit other-worldly that our super amazing Jellybean spent the first days of her existence in a agar filled with nutrients to sustain her essence. But, is that so different than lots of everyday things that we simply take in stride? For example, we proliferate life in a somewhat laboratory setting to make beer, wine, liquor, etc. These tiny yeast molecules are put into an environment filled with nutrients to sustain life and as a result we wake up with a hangover! How about water treatment? Did you know that bacteria are used to clean the water? Again, organisms are put in an environment where they can thrive and as a result, humans benefit. OK, we are not talking about human life, we are not talking about making people, but there are connections to IVF. The most prominent is the use of human ingenuity to solve human problems. Your water isn’t clean … use bacteria. Your milk is somewhat deadly, pasteurize it. Your cancer isn’t going away on its own, use chemotherapy and cancer medicines.

The point is this, although some of the technological advances that we have made are a bit unsettling to some, it is short-sighted and discriminatory to accept only the technologies that benefit you, while berating those you disagree with. I would be utterly shocked if Dolce and Gabbana did not use state-of-the-art laboratory equipment to develop their new fragrances. Unless they are only wearing 100% cotton or other naturally derived fibers, their very expensive clothing is at least partially synthetic. And, unless they have only ever written on papyrus or wood and stone, I imagine that they have taken advantage of the technologies of the wood pulp industry for communication. IVF, as magical as it is; surrogacy, in its miracle-enabling beauty, is just another technology that humans have developed to help solve human problems; namely infertility.

I feel bad for Dolce and for Gabbana. Their brand is mud now. 1 in 8 couples have trouble conceiving. That is a large group of people. Well not that most of us could afford their products because we are financially strained from treatments and pursuing other options. Although they do seem to have been given the perfect last names for a successful company, it seems that they are missing out on some of the greatest blessings that this life has to offer. As Dolce is a self-proclaimed homosexual catholic, he does believe in a life after this one. It is my hope that he, and his business partner, can reconcile their internal contradictions before passing on to their eternal existence. So, my advice to all who read this: do not condemn Dolce or Gabbana, instead recognize their deficit and lack of education on this matter, wish them well … and then buy their competitors products.

Here was Candace’s response to the quote:

That silver lining … if there is one thing that these billionaire designers have done for us, it is put infertility in something of a spot-light. Thanks Italian friends! Now, how can we take this small pebble drop and turn it into a much larger wave that evokes change? By participating in RESOLVE’s Advocacy Day of course! Candace and I both will be on Capitol Hill and we hope you will be able to join us! Here is a glimpse into the event:

If you can’t join us, in person, there are other ways that you can help. You can write letters to your Congressional leaders and State Senate. EMAIL US for info on how to help us paper Congress with your stories: ourmisconception@gmail.com