In most relationships, there comes the inevitable moment where you will need to take the next step… and meet the parents.

For a while now you've kept your lover in hiding from everyone because, you know, "Shame!" (Definition: when an individual feels embarrassed/shy/not confident/unsure/doesn't want to look like a dickhead.)

Well, it's time to come out and share your love, because you've just been asked the question that would loosen the bowels of even the bravest person:

"WANT TO MEET MY MOB?"

Forget proposals — if you're an Indigenous person living in the Kimberley, then this is the most important question you'll ever hear in your relationship.

When you meet the mob, don't expect an awkward roast dinner with their parents.

Oh no, it's so much worse than that.

You will meet your partner's sisters, brothers, cousins, Uncle Joe and his dog Denny — even Granny June's friend, Barb.

Be prepared. You're about to meet the whole tribe.

The meet up

If you're committed enough to meet the in-laws, you'll probably want to make a good impression. So scrub up and look nice. But not too nice.

If you overdo it, be prepared for your woman/man to make fun of you by saying, "Eeeeyyyaaa! That much you wanna dress up ayyee!"

Do you remember meeting the parents for the first time? Share your stories — good and bad — with us and add to this story. Email life@abc.net.au

If they've emphasised that "aye", they'll keep on going, so just change your clothes. It's easier.

But don't just physically prepare yourself. You need to be mentally prepared, too. (Being Indigenous, you know damn well families like to be close. Real close. Expect the in-laws to know when your pay day is.)

So when you arrive, wearing your boring outfit, at your in-law's house, just remember:

AVOID. ALL. EYE. CONTACT!

Our cultural protocols

Still need to chat to your in-laws? Try addressing them but not directly. ( ABC Life: Charlotte Allingham )

Let me explain. Culturally we are not allowed to speak to our in-laws, or even be in the same room with them.

Allow me introduce to you the CULTURAL PROTOCOLS.

To be clear: I am strictly speaking of the Kimberley region and about certain Indigenous groups who follow these steps. There are differences across all Aboriginal groups. I do not represent all Aboriginal people, just me, and my mob.

But enough of that. Let's set up a scenario where a woman is meeting her boyfriend's parents for the first time.

In this situation she can greet the mother, but things are different when encountering the father.

She can shake hands with him, but she should place her head down or look away. The same applies with men meeting their partner's mother.

This first introduction will be the only time you'll ever be this close to your in-laws.

Think that's hard? It's just the beginning.

All other times, the following rules apply:

Rule number one:

The son-in-law cannot speak to his mother-in-law, cannot look directly at her or be in the same room.

And the daughter-in-law cannot speak to her father-in-law, cannot look directly at him or be in the same room.

Rule number two:

If the daughter/son-in-law wishes to contact the father/mother-in-law, they can:

Use a third party

Use a third party Try text messages/Morse code/smoke signals/send a pigeon if they have to — anything but face-to-face!

Try text messages/Morse code/smoke signals/send a pigeon if they have to — anything but face-to-face! Speak in third-person. For example, the daughter-in-law could say, "Matt's dad, do you want a sandwich?"

Rule number three:

If both parties are in the same room, the daughter/son-in-law will have to exit the room.

I know it's a bit tedious, but that's how we do it in the Kimberley.

Why do we do this?

Now, no-one really knows where the rules have originated from. It's a law that has been passed down for generations.

But I've always asked WHY — why do we do this? And the answer I always get back is: to show respect.

So once you've been introduced, you will live your life in constant fear of bumping into your in-laws in the street and making regrettable eye contact.

And the consequences if you do?

YOU TURN INTO STONE.

But if you're wondering how the rules play out, let me give you an example.

A funny thing happened to my relative. Let's call him Bob.

Bob was living with his girlfriend at her parent's house, where awkward situations are bound to happen.

One day, Bob was watching television in the lounge room when unexpectedly his mother-in-law arrives home from work.

She steps inside the house, enters the lounge and Bob looks up to see who it is. And the unthinkable happens. THEY LOCK EYES!

Bob starts to sweat. His heart races. He just did the unspeakable act. And there's no way to walk or run away without bumping into her.

He starts to look around but there's nowhere to go.

With no choice, Bob turns to a corner of the room, and looks right at it, and stands there facing the wall while the mother-in-law walks past.

So, what I'm trying to explain: I guess our way to impress is to avoid the in-laws altogether!

Every month ABC Kimberley presenter Molly Hunt shares a new lesson in love with ABC Life. Next time — family matters when your relationship becomes long-term.