xxXxx

Anna expects them to sit around awkwardly, maybe just enjoy being close after spending a small forever apart.

But once Elsa's firmly through the foyer, she starts fluttering around the apartment like a butterfly in a field of flowers. She's exploring rooms and going through Anna's photography and frowning at the moldy tuna salad in the Tupperware at the back of Anna's refrigerator. She also checks the cabinets and the pantry and starts mentally going over a grocery list and pasta recipes.

Anna knows this doesn't necessarily mean that Elsa's moving in, but it feels an awful lot like she plans to stick around for a while.

She isn't bold enough to say that to Elsa, still afraid she's going to scare her away even though they're promised to each other for a life time — so she opts for thinking as strongly as possible that she wouldn't mind if they discussed living together or at least close.

Which makes it even more weird when Elsa stops right in front of her and asks, "Do you prefer spaghetti, spirali, or farfalle?" instead of actually discussing their living arrangements.

Anna hums and taps her lip anyway, considering her options. "What exactly are we referring to? I know the first one is a noodle dish."

"They're all types of pasta," Elsa clarifies, and then she literally thinks ugh when Anna tilts her head in confusion. "Long, curly, or bow-ties?"

"Now you're speaking my language. Why not all three together?" She reconsiders once Elsa makes a face like she's morally compromised by the idea of using all three pastas in one dish. "The curly ones are nice, just by themselves."

"When have you ever had spaghetti and spirali at the same time?"

"I haven't, just thought you were offering. Um, kind of nervous."

Elsa looks her over for a long moment, and then continues to avoid the moving in topic. "When's the last time you went grocery shopping?"

"I uh, not long ago," Anna says, feeling a little foreign in her own home. She's never been under this much scrutiny. "I'm just out of TV dinners at the moment."

"TV dinners, Anna —" Elsa looks horrified, and Anna tries to laugh it off as a joke, but it doesn't work. "Do you realize you're bonded now?"

"What?" Anna gasps, throwing her hand over her mouth, "— How long were you going to keep this from me?"

"I mean it, Anna," Elsa says, in her very very serious voice, "I can't spend my life worrying you'll die at thirty and then I'll go into severance shock and have a psychic meltdown."

"Oh." Anna would have more to say, maybe, but she's not exactly familiar with either of those. She only just recently learned about force-bonding and building mental walls. Not that the information did any good, since —

Elsa eyes her and Anna swallows. She forgot she can't think about force-bonding anymore. It didn't happen and she shouldn't think it happen; she knows that.

Anyway, there're more important things. "What's severance shock and what's a psychic meltdown?"

Which only seems to deeply perplex Elsa. "Are you not familiar with the specifics of bonding?"

"I don't know, I haven't like, researched bonds or anything," Anna admits, and honestly isn't surprised by the long silence that follows. "I mean, I just — it never came up."

"You bonded with a stranger and didn't think to look into what that meant for your life?" Elsa sounds incredulous. And she has a point, but there's no use in Anna admitting that, because it's already pretty obvious that she's apparently an idiot. "You're not an idiot, but you should have looked into it. Is that why it took you so long to call me?"

"I, no. That's not..." Shit, it's just now occurring to Anna that maybe her reason for not calling is also dumb, but it's all she's got. She feels surprisingly vulnerable, knows Elsa's probably picking up on it too. "I thought we were going to do our own thing, and — well, I mean you didn't exactly call me either."

"It should have been obvious we couldn't after the first..." Elsa trails off, walking closer to Anna. "I wanted you to come to terms with us being bonded. It was hard for me with you thinking you violated me. I didn't want to push you too soon, or risk you feeling ashamed for any feelings you're having. Anna you're the most important... it's so important that... fuck."

Elsa runs a hand through her bangs and it's like she's feeling a thousand emotions all at once, but also thinking a thousand things at once, which is surprisingly hard for Anna to handle mentally. Her mind keeps jumping from one train of thought to another, just as fast as Elsa's is.

Have to be close- Bonds- Important- Sickness- Too strong- Separation- She doesn't know- Spectrum- Scale- Psychic Ability.

Through it all Anna's being hit strongly with all the accompanying emotions, which are ten times worse and twenty times as strong as she's ever felt before, maybe because Elsa's right there. Or maybe because... she doesn't know. She just knows that she feels like throwing up — her world is spinning and her mind is on fire and she's so so nauseous.

It's so consuming, it's all so overwhelmingly consuming; Elsa's frustration so strong it's nearly visible, like bright red and hot and right in front of Anna, making everything else disappear into the background. Right here, right now, she never would have imagined this is what being bonded is like.

Anna hits a wall where things stop getting more intense, but it all stays at such a constant level of too much that her head starts to go numb, feels like she's going to pass out. And then a second later it starts to dissipate, all the nausea and anger and intensity turning into something soothing and warm. It takes her mind a few minutes to adjust, but when it does she's surprised to realize Elsa is hugging her, surprised she hadn't even noticed in the first place.

Elsa doesn't say anything for a moment, but Anna can feel her in her head, feel her taking up space, smoothing out the headache and confusion. It'd be weird and invasive with anyone else, but Anna wants Elsa there, wants to let her in, not self-conscious about a single thing. It just feels right.

Anna's always known about bonds, of course, but nothing could prepare her for the drowning sensation she feels whenever she looks at Elsa, or the sadness that seeps all the way into her bones and makes it almost physically impossible to lift out of the bed in the morning when Elsa isn't around, or the overwhelming, ever present sensation of mine that she's constantly feeling every second of her life since the start of their bond.

It's a lot to take in, but she's never wanted to take in anything more than she wants to take in Elsa. She can't even control it, her thoughts or her feelings or her need to be close to Elsa.

And maybe she over-did it with the force-bonding thing and maybe she doesn't really know everything about bonds, but she's in one, so figuring it out is better than being judged for not knowing.

Elsa hums approvingly, and then Anna relaxes fully into the hug.

Touching is nice, makes every heartbeat and every breath feel amplified and amazing at the same time. It feels complete and full and happy and glorious and like — it feels like home. And Anna's sure Elsa didn't plan this at all, but she's quite a bit taller than Anna.

So, Anna can't help but push in even closer; fits her forehead right beneath Elsa's jaw. Elsa lets her do it too, lifts her chin a little so Anna can nuzzle in.

And it's all great for a short minute, until Anna realizes something weird just happened and she should really be asking questions about it. So she pulls away and immediately regrets it, but stays strong and sticks with her decision. "Is it always like that when one of us gets upset? I couldn't see anything and I felt like throwing up and my world was spinning and —"

"No it's just..." Elsa grabs Anna's hand like she's about to explain a very delicate situation to a toddler. "Have you ever heard of the Argo-Meyer scale?"

"Sure," Anna nods. She remembers how proud her parents were when she scored a four on the Argo-Meyer and got to go in the upper level psychic class at her grade school. "Everyone has to take the test and get scored before entering school."

"Yeah, that's it. So, like... the — the way the scale works," Elsa fumbles out, "is — well, it's a classification system. Ones and twos are non-bonders. They can't form bonds, but it's useful in warfare because they can't be mentally tampered with. Threes are your average people. They can form relationship bonds, but they aren't exceptional or strong by any measure. Fours and fives can go a bit deeper into feeling perception and mind reading."

Anna blinks slowly and nods. She knows all of this already, doesn't know why Elsa's going through the trouble of explaining it.

"Anything above a six," Elsa continues, "...is considered exceptional, is what I'm getting at."

"So are you a six or something?"

"No." Elsa's entire body tenses when she whispers, "I'm a 9.87."

Anna nearly chokes on her own saliva. "But the scale's out of ten."

"It's why I know you didn't force-bond me," Elsa says, like it's a huge relief off her chest. "It's why I didn't want to call you, even though I knew you were getting separation sickness. It's why I'm not supposed to drink because not being able to control myself could end in me... accidentally bonding to someone."

Oh. "Well, you can only really do that once, so shouldn't be so bad for you now," Anna assures her.

"Yeah, it isn't so bad until I cause a twenty-car pile-up on the highway." Elsa's hand is shaking as she runs it through her bangs, and no matter how hard Anna tries, she can't comfort her. "I can enter people's heads without being bonded to them. It's dangerous and deadly and people like me are the reason they mandated those tests before entering school. So they could catch us early. And —" She pauses. "We're not supposed to get too emotional, because that, what you just felt, happens."

Oh, again. "Is it possible for you to hurt me then? What happens if like, if you go past what I can handle mentally?"

"That one's not so bad," Elsa says nervously, pulling on a strand of hair. "If your mental capacity is exceeded your mind just fizzes out for a moment and you throw up. It feels like shit, but it pretty much resets itself."

Anna's almost afraid to ask which one is bad if that one isn't, but it's only responsible to be informed. "So what's the worst that can happen?"

"Well, you hitting your mental limit sends a pretty large signal to me that I'm fucking up. It's like a fail-safe, so —"

"Yeah, but what's the worst that can happen?"

Elsa swallows, or gulps, whichever is more dramatic. "Well, after your brain fizzes out, if I still don't stop, then it moves to the rest of your body. Most of it's survivable, like muscle weakness and shortness of breath, but —" She hesitates, but Anna glares at her until she keeps going. "If I can't regain control I could stress out your heart, and that could actually kill you. And to answer your earlier questions, severance shock is basically what happens when a bond this strong gets broken. Psychic meltdown is pretty self-explanatory from there."

Oh again, again. That is an interesting development. "Good thing they caught your abilities early then. I assume you got some sort of training," Anna says hopefully.

But Elsa's expression sort of kills those hopes. "I'm one of the highest scores they've ever seen. They ran a lot of stress tests, but — doctors treated me like a lab experiment and the government treated me like a weapon, so my father had his own way of teaching me control. Which mostly just involved me not feeling anything, or suppressing anything I did feel."

Anna doesn't know how to respond to that, because that basically means she's attached to a ticking time bomb.

And the fact that Elsa doesn't object to that thought means that she probably agrees.

Fantastic.

Anna claps her hands together. "So, maybe we should try the spaghetti with the sprigati - "

"Spirali."

"Right, spirali. It can't be that bad."

x

It's a bit tense between them the rest of the night; Anna doesn't talk much because she doesn't have much to say, and Elsa's completely silent mentally. They pick up food and eat dinner and stay close to each other the whole time. And when it's time to head to bed Elsa doesn't make any indication that she's leaving. In fact, Elsa takes off her shoes and leans into the couch, and Anna finally catches on that she intends to sleep over when she actually starts to drift off.

So she brings out a comforter and extra pillows and tries to find some words to say, but comes up short.

She's even more speechless when Elsa takes off her sweatshirt and her undershirt rides up, revealing the swelling and bruising she still has on her torso.

It's all just a lot; the whole thing is a lot to handle.

xXx

Anna's exhausted when she gets to work the next day. She immediately pulls off her cardigan and her scarf, throwing them on her desk before taking a moment to properly stress out about her infinitely complicated life. She's taking deep breaths, ignoring the little tug in her mind that's already wishing Elsa were still close, trying to get everything back in order, when thankfully Tiana walks past. Tiana looks as immaculate as ever, raising one eyebrow as she takes in the scene.

"Heard you got bonded," Tiana sighs, taking a seat in Anna's rolly chair. "Didn't know you were even seeing anyone."

"It wasn't by choice," Anna groans, rubbing her face with her hand. "How'd you even find out?"

"Kristoff."

Anna rolls her eyes. "Of course."

"It's not like you could hide it anyway," Tiana says. "You're pretty much radiating bond. It's weird."

Anna nibbles on her lip before saying, offhandedly, "I guess that's what happens when you bond to a 9.82 on the scale."

Tiana snorts. "Like, on Argo-Meyer? You do know they have to train special people for super psychics and put them into arranged bonds, right?"

Anna pouts. "So, I might actually die."

Tiana looks at her pityingly, grabbing her wrist. "Come, bathroom. I have makeup and perfume." She pauses. "And you can tell me all about the bond."

Anna can't help smiling, she's super appreciative. "I'm not sure we have the same MAC color," she laughs, letting Tiana drag her to the bathroom anyway.

She accepts the lipstick and the mascara gratefully. And then she takes the perfume and sprays it liberally so the whole bathroom smells like Reb'L Fleur. Tiana sits on the sink with her legs crossed at the ankles, swinging them back and forth.

"Thanks," Anna says once she's finished, handing all of Tiana's items back to her. "So her name's Elsa. She's pretty and tall and smart and can cook and is totally going to fry my brain."

Tiana smiles, rolling her perfectly made up eyes. "You can't even hide your glow. It sounds like you like her."

"I think bonds make it hard not to like someone."

"Yeah, that explains the popularity of bond-blocking bracelets," Tiana says sarcastically. "Obviously no one wants to step outside their bond without their mate knowing."

"You think those could help," Anna asks, thoughtfully. "Not for stepping out, but like, just in case."

"For a 9.82? I doubt that bracelet would even take off the edge. You're going to need prescription strength psychic blockers for that." Tiana climbs off the sink and starts fiddling with Anna's hair. "But those have some serious side effects that I doubt you'd want to deal with. Plus, being with a 9.82, you'd probably get separation sickness even while she's there when you're on those."

Anna just blinks. There's so much about bonds she didn't know. "How do you know so much about this stuff?"

"I wrote the piece last month on the super psychics." She smirks. "You'd know if you ever ventured anywhere outside the nature stories."

"But nature writing is what I do best," Anna explains. "It's why you hired me, remember?"

Tiana laughs. "You're going to be fine," she says, running a thumb over Anna's cheek. "Every bond has its complications. You just have to figure them out. Besides, I'm a 6 and Naveen is a 3. And I haven't killed him yet." She winks and Anna smiles.

Tiana and Naveen were actually in love before they bonded, but at least there's still hope.

"Anyway," Tiana continues, "— we should probably get to work."

x

Work ends up going fairly nice for Anna; she gets to interview the owner of some exotic animals, which means she gets to see exotic animals and take pictures of them and snapchat about how cool they are. Her bond only really bothers her a few times, but ever since last night it's felt different — more stable, more secure.

Anna has a quick shower once she's home, towel drying her hair as she throws a healthy microwavable stirfry in the microwave. She pulls out some spinach for a salad as well; it looks gross, but she feels guilty about the microwavable dinner. It's not like she's suddenly overly conscious about what she eats, but since she's in the bond now she has to at least be a little considerate.

She's starts up Project Runway on the DVR, because she's addicted to reality television, and checks the messages on her house phone as she settles into the couch and the smells of the stir fry start to fill the kitchen.

And that's when Elsa conveniently opens the door, immediately aware that the microwave is going.

"It's easy after a long day," Anna defends, before Elsa gets the chance to attack. "Sometimes I don't have the energy to cook things."

"I wasn't going to complain," Elsa lies.

Anna can't help but laugh as Elsa wrinkles up her nose. "I can see your disgust."

"I'm allowed to be disgusted," Elsa says, slipping her shoes off in the foyer, and walking over to join Anna on the couch. "Doesn't mean I was going to complain about it, though. It's not like your health affects me or anything."

"Don't be a shitter, I made a small spinach salad too."

"I can be a shitter if I want," Elsa says, amused. "I don't know what this attack is for, anyway. You should be thanking me for stopping you from tripping three times in the grocery store yesterday."

Elsa looks unbearably pleased with herself, and Anna's just lost. "When'd you stop me from tripping?"

"I just — " Elsa lifts her hand. "You were a little off-balance, so I helped you out."

Anna hums in consideration. "Interesting. Do you always stop me from doing things?"

"Considering yesterday was our first day together, I'd say no."

"Right," Anna says, pulling away and clapping her hands together. For some weird reason she managed to forget that she just met Elsa. They know absolutely nothing about each other and they're living together now. "We never really got into proper introductions, and those are rightfully important. You seem more mysterious, so you should start."

"Alright," Elsa starts, smiling. "I'm Elsa Stone. I'm twenty-three, from the north originally, and I love ice-skating. That's it, really; I'm not so mysterious. Tell me about you."

Anna sucks in a breath, because it's hard choosing from all the interesting facts she knows about herself. It's probably safest to just follow Elsa's lead, though.

"Alright, well. I'm Anna, I'm twenty-one, born and raised in Arendelle, and uhh... " she looks around, suddenly unaware of anything interesting about herself. "...my favorite fruit is apple."

Elsa nods like she's deep in thought. "So do you think about apples often?"

"I guess as much as anyone does," Anna says, shrugging. "They're not exactly the most interesting fruit. Or the funniest."

"True, you never really hear about slipping on an apple peel."

Anna bites her lip. It's probably too soon for her shitty jokes. They're having a perfectly serious conversation about their lives and fruit. She probably shouldn't ruin the moment with something dumb. "Elsa, why did the banana go to the doctor?"

Elsa rearranges her fringe, probably in an effort to not seem amused. "Why?"

"Because it wasn't peeling well."

There's silence for a moment. And then Elsa covers her face with both hands and laughs. "Oh god, that was the worst joke I've ever heard in my life."

Anna's overwhelmingly pleased with herself, she made Elsa laugh. "Hey. You can't make fun of my joke. I worked hard on that one."

"It's safe to say you shouldn't quit your day job," Elsa says, grinning and laughing more, but Anna doesn't miss how she puts her hands over her ribs midway in.

She rolls her neck around slowly after that, grabbing her shoulder and stretching it, and Anna sighs because it's obvious their sleeping arrangement needs a bit of reconsideration, and it's obvious they should discuss Elsa being hurt. She just isn't sure how to properly ask if Elsa's interested in sharing a bed, since she isn't necessarily excited about sleeping on the couch herself, so she goes with asking about her ribs.

"Is it getting better?" she asks, pointing. "I could like... I could look at it, put on some vaseline."

Elsa responds by grabbing her hand and turning it so her palm's facing up. "You're spending a lot of time worrying about me, when you're pretty banged up yourself."

"Yeah, but it's my fault so I deserve it."

"Anna." Elsa makes a small, surprised noise, like she just heard the most shocking thing in the world. But it's true. Anna was drunk, on a bike, going way too fast. She got what she deserved and Elsa was unfair collateral. "Stop thinking like that. Why do you keep beating yourself up?"

Anna shrugs because it's obvious, isn't it? She feels sort of small and vulnerable, but Elsa let's go of her hand and gets an arm around her instead, pulls her in and just breathes for a minute.

It's weird to think they didn't know each other a week before, and it's weird to think about how natural it feels just being in Elsa's arms. It's even more weird that Anna feels safer with Elsa than she does with anyone else. The thing about bonds, Anna's figuring out, is that the feelings that comes with them are real. It's not a matter of when the bond will wear off or when the feelings will wear off because it's forever. It's like a tattoo on her soul.

"I know it's weird, Anna. I know it's really weird, but as of a week ago you became the most important person in the world to me. And I need you to be happy so we can get through this. And I need you to keep thinking sappy thoughts like soul tattoos."

Anna hums at that, content because she likes being happy and sappy and in Elsa's arms. Now seems like the perfect time to bring up sleeping arrangements.

"Was the couch bad last night?" she tries, "I told you you could have the bed."

"It's fine," Elsa says, pulling Anna in closer. "It's your apartment, we'll figure it out. I don't want to put you out or anything."

"We could share the bed," Anna says, deciding to just get the idea out of the way. "I mean I'd like it if you were closer. And it's a lot more comfortable."

Elsa pauses for a long while before she asks, "Is that really what you want?"

Of course it's what Anna wants, already addicted to them cuddling and they've only been doing it a couple minutes. And if they're both actively trying to get past the weird, she can at least be open about that.

"Yeah," she says, "it's really what I want."