I am trying to remember explaining to my sons why their cousins had two mummies. But I can’t: their aunties were always there, as was a gay uncle, a gay godfather. The idea that you confuse kids by teaching that homosexual couples exist seems absurd. It’s not complicated, only love. (Which small boys find icky no matter who’s involved.) Try explaining 9/11 to a five-year-old who saw the Twin Towers fall on TV: now that’s tough.

The No Outsiders programme, so abhorred by parents at Birmingham’s Parkfield primary school, doesn’t feature bodies or, God forbid, sex. It says merely that some people are gay. How can it be “age inappropriate” to explain who’ll pick up a classmate from nursery? “The truth is,” says a Muslim