In New Zealand right now, apparently, they look like this.

There’s a couple similarly weird ones, including an aged wealthocrat and his gold-digging Russian bride.

If I have to choose, I prefer it to the middle-of-the-road safety-first stuff they’re doing in America right now. I wish we could have the old Burger King campaign back, but I know about a hundred people personally who have volunteered how much The King creeped them out back when he was the oddly sexualized representative of a mainstream QSR chain.

So maybe The King took things too far for the mass of people required to keep a chain as major as BK in the black. Still, the agency responsible for that royal spokesperv also managed to produce some of the smartest, greatest restaurant advertising I can think of—they managed to tap into their fan’s love for the brand with the Whopper Freakout and Whopper Lust campaigns. They dubbed spicy chicken “Angry,” which is a product concept so strong even the wimps in charge right now can’t best it. And when they updated the “Have It Your Way” campaign, I…well, this is what I said in my book: