During today's Boston Red Sox — Tampa Bay Rays game, Sox catcher Kelly Shoppach pulled off a truly bizarre, deranged slide. It sort of comes in three acts, each with its own narrative arc; remarkably ends with Shoppach safe on base; and is unlike anything you've ever seen before.

Deadspin has video of the "slide," but we've broken down the tape frame-by-frame to analyze the critical moments.