In the aftermath of the Grenfell Tower disaster, a harsh light now shines on the organisation that managed the block, and others in the area, the Kensington and Chelsea Tenant Management Organisation (KCTMO).

People have said that this was “a disaster waiting to happen”. I shared their concerns. I saw them from the inside.

I remember the vote that led to the creation of KCTMO in 1996, because my mother was a tenant at the time and we received letters about it. I was born and brought up in the south of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea, on benefits, in an overcrowded council flat.

When I left university, I saw that a progressive government was pouring money into public services. I thought I could help families like mine. In 2007, I started working for the organisation, which manages almost 10,000 properties, and stayed until 2016, employed as a neighbourhood officer first in the south of the borough, then in the north. Then, as now, the contrasts were stark. Generally speaking, the south is rich: the north has some of the highest social deprivation levels in the country.

Though I didn’t manage Grenfell Tower itself, I was responsible for day-to-day housing management services on surrounding estates with similar structures and communities. The policies and procedures were, to my knowledge, the same, and these included mandatory annual fire safety training for caretakers and neighbourhood officers. In this training, the stakes of failure were made very clear; we were told that the CEO could go to prison for corporate manslaughter in the event of a major incident. We were also told about some of the recommendations from the Lakanal House fire in 2009, which claimed six lives in Southwark, south London.

After 2010, austerity bit us hard and we felt it in every aspect of the service, as resources were stretched and budgets were squeezed. We worked closely with police and mental health services but as those services started to fall away after 2014 – degraded by budget strictures of their own – things became more difficult. We were doing more casework because there were no support workers. More of our residents needed our help, yet at the same time we were overburdened and were struggling with impossible targets. A change in management brought a new level of scrutiny, but it felt like managers didn’t understand the complex issues our residents were facing.

Further changes to council tenancies through the Localism Act in 2011 presented us with additional demands, but no more resources. Instead of tenancies for life, new tenants were being given two- or five-year fixed-term tenancies and these needed to be checked and visited several times in the first year. There was a drive to let homes to the “most deserving”, principally those in work; and a sense that people on benefits were somehow less deserving. Many felt the council, like all councils, should have been building new homes but instead it was obsessed with the problem of subletting. As the casework grew in size and urgency, we were frequently drawn away from it to go out door-knocking, checking residents’ ID and asking intrusive questions about their incomes and home lives.

Our foreboding about calamity loomed large; I used to have nightmares about blocks burning down. We carried out quarterly block inspections, and a huge part of that work was checking the fire-safety of each block. Were the exits clear? Were the emergency lights working? Were all the fire doors in operation? We’d send letters to residents who left bikes and buggies blocking the communal exits, because it was our responsibility to make sure the means of escape were clear. But still I’d wake up in the middle of the night, asking myself if I’d sent that letter to that resident in flat 17 asking her to move her buggy. Buggies are highly flammable and it only takes one cigarette to start a fire.

When I heard how residents in Grenfell stayed put, I remembered one meeting with the residents on another of our estates who asked for information about their means of escape in the event of a fire. I was flabbergasted when our fire safety team confirmed the widely used “stay put” policy, confident in the belief that fire stops between each floor would prevent the flames from spreading, and that the fire doors fitted to every home in their block would give residents a full hour in which the fire brigade would rescue them. Thinking about it now brings a lump to my throat.

As I stood at the bottom of burning Grenfell Tower on Wednesday, I saw an estate noticeboard with an ex-colleague’s photograph on it. “I’m here to make sure estates are well run,” it said, and I couldn’t help but think that she – as well as all the other people devastated by this fire – has been failed by both the management organisation and the government. I saw images of the missing and knew these were families just like mine. After years of austerity, system failure and now this unthinkable tragedy, surely things must change.