GALLATIN, TN—Saying he will just have to trust that the new organ he receives is as good as the other options out there, local man Keith Palmero confirmed Tuesday that his insurance provider would only cover a generic heart for his upcoming transplant surgery. “My doctor says it should work exactly the same as any other heart—it has the same valves, same ventricles, same everything,” said Palmero, adding that from what he understands, aside from lacking any branding, the heart he’s receiving is essentially identical to the more expensive ones. “Frankly, as long as it keeps on beating, I don’t care where it’s from. All of these hearts are made of the same cardiac muscle anyway. Myocardium is myocardium, plain and simple.” Palmero went on to state that he was just relieved his insurance would cover a generic heart, noting that two years ago he had been forced to purchase a cheap Mexican lung online.

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