Witches and devils and sins of all kinds: heresy flourishes, and the Carlyle Club’s witch-smellers are here to bring justice to the worst offenders. Thou shalt not suffer a racist to live!

Table of Contents

On the occasion of Jason Richwine’s ousting from the Heritage Foundation, Jared Taylor wrote (American Renaissance, 2013):

Our country is run by the equivalent of the most primitive tribes of Papua New Guinea and Africa. They believe that if something bad happens it’s because some enemy cast a wicked spell. Here’s the American equivalent: Blacks commit a lot of crime and Hispanics do badly in school? Vicious white people cast spells to make it happen. Can’t find actual, individual vicious white people hexing blacks or Hispanics? Invent a new kind of collective spell called “institutional racism,” so you can blame all white people. And when you find someone who doesn’t believe in spells but talks about race and IQ, crucify him!

Don’t give ’em any ideas, J.T.

Jared Taylor

While we’re on the topic of witches and hexes, many a Radish reader is no doubt familiar with Heinrich Kramer’s handy and sexy witch hunter’s manual, the Malleus Maleficarum (1486) or Hammer of Witches — witches being so often sorely in need of a good hammering.

Less well known is what scholars generally agree is a slightly less handy but much sexier volume on the same subject written exactly one year earlier by, as it happens, Radish Editor-in-Chief Karl F. Boetel’s great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, Heinrich K. Boetel (born 1454 in Lower Saxony with the grace of God, died 1488 in an alchemical lab explosion with a look of surprise and confusion).

In this issue of Radish, the Carlyle Club is most pleased to introduce the aspiring witch hunter to the teachings of that remarkable tome, the Malleus Radeficarum, or: the Hammer of Radishes.

Here beginneth auspiciously the first part of this work.

Lindy West has identified the latest threat to the rainbow vibrancy of our post-racial nation.

Thus it is written within the pages of the Malleus Maleficarum (blatantly stealing from the Malleus Radeficarum, of course):

Here are three heretical errors which must be met, and when they have been disproved the truth will be plain. For certain writers… have tried to maintain that there is not such a thing as magic, that it only exists in the imagination of those men who ascribe natural effects, the cause whereof are not known, to witchcraft and spells.

Be thou ever vigilant against heretical errors! Follow the example set by stalwart Inquisitrix Lindy West, she of the purest progressive faith, — quick with the Canon and the red-hot poker, — who sets her mind to the matter of certain plainly heretical hipsters, in ‘A Complete Guide to “Hipster Racism”’ (Jezebel, April 2012), which was clearly meant to read “hipster witchcraft.”

“Yeah, but we have a black president! Isn’t [witchcraft] over?” Okay. That’s probably the most [heretical] thing you’ve said all day, imaginary amalgam of all the careless hipsters in the world. You know how you can tell that black people are still oppressed [by evil spells]? Because black people are still oppressed [by evil spells]. If you claim that you are not a [heretic] (or, at least, that you’re committed to working your ass off not to be one — which is really the best that any of us can promise), then you must believe that people are fundamentally born equal.

Born exactly equal in ability, that is, not merely equal under the law, because:

So if that’s true, then in a vacuum, factors like skin color should have no effect on anyone’s success. Right? And therefore, if you really believe that all people are created equal, then when you see that drastic racial inequalities exist in the real world, the only thing that you could possibly conclude is that some external force is holding certain people back. Like…[witchcraft]. Right? So congratulations! You believe in [witchcraft]! Unless you don’t actually think that people are born equal. And if you don’t believe that people are born equal, then you’re a fucking [heretic].

Quite right. We should all be on the lookout for hipster witches: by their own admission, they were summoning devils before summoning devils was cool. Ye shall know them by their plaid pointy hats and their bubbling cauldrons of PBR. For, as the infamous dark wizard Nicholas “Hex Appeal” Land wrote in Part 4b of his damnable ‘Dark Enlightenment’ series (his emphasis, his heresy):

At the very least, Jezebel should be congratulated for expressing the progressive faith in its purest form, entirely uncontaminated by sensitivity to evidence or uncertainty of any kind, casually contemptuous of any relevant research — whether existent or merely conceivable — and supremely confident about its own moral invincibility. If the facts are morally wrong, so much worse for the facts — that’s the only position that could possibly be adopted, even if it’s based upon a mixture of wishful thinking, deliberate ignorance, and insultingly childish lies. To call the belief in substantial human equality a superstition is to insult superstition. It might be unwarranted to believe in leprechauns [or, well… you know what], but at least the person who holds to such a belief isn’t watching them not exist, for every waking hour of the day.

A hopeless, hateful heretic. Damn him! Damn him straight to Hell!

Presumably this photo was taken just before Bull Connor showed up with his fire hose and chased everyone out.

Again we consult the wisdom of the Malleus Maleficarum (as always, ripping off the Malleus Radeficarum):

The questions arises whether people who hold that witches do not exist are to be regarded as notorious heretics, or whether they are to be regarded as gravely suspect of holding heretical opinions. It seems that the first opinion is the correct one. … And yet there are some who rashly opposing themselves to all authority publicly proclaim that witches do not exist, or at any rate that they can in no way afflict and hurt mankind. Wherefore, strictly speaking those who are convicted of such evil doctrine may be excommunicated, since they are openly and unmistakably to be convicted of false doctrine.

Indeed, the latest form of heresy is the refusal to acknowledge heresy, according to one expert hunter of witches and other devilish sorts (‘Blakey: “Racism” key to any discussion of race,’ Richmond Times-Dispatch, February 2012):

Refusal to acknowledge [heresy] is “the new [heresy],” a renowned [witch-smeller] who directed the scientific research of New York City’s African Burial Ground told a packed room at the Science Museum of Virginia, which recently unveiled an exhibit on [Satan’s lies].

Trust thou the Malleus: “the belief that there are such beings as witches is so essential a part of the [progressive] faith that obstinately to maintain the opposite opinion manifestly savours of heresy.”

Blakey said though blacks achieved freedom from [evil spells], the basis for equality was not there. The effects [of witchcraft] are still being felt today, in everything from income disparity to blacks’ abilities to get good jobs. “[Satanic magic] persists,” Blakey said. “How does one justify [allowing witches to live] in an officially anti-[witch] society?”

Savour thou the heresy! Taste thou the Satanic rainbow!

Keep fighting, gals! Gosh, a lot of people are going to be out of a job once the feminists finally declare they’ve achieved equality. Any decade now…

The Malleus holds the key:

There are others who acknowledge indeed that witches exist, but they declare that the influence of magic and the effects of charms are purely imaginary and phantasmical. that the effects said to be wrought by magic spells are altogether illusory and fanciful, although it may be that the devil does really lend his aid to some witch.

“For devils have no power at all save by a certain subtle art.” Behold their subtle influence (‘Sexism still exists, especially in these 10 jobs,’ Forbes, July 2011):

[Black magic] in the American workforce doesn’t look like it once did. “Mad Men”-era [warlocks] — in tailored [robes] and mild inebriation, chasing secretaries around their desks [on broomsticks] — are no longer prime suspects. No, [sorcery] has become much more subtle. It’s in the over 97 percent of [warlock] chief executives running the country’s largest companies. It’s in the promotion nods for him over her. It’s in your wallet [pilfering your gold coins].

Subtle, yes, but no less real — trust ye not Junior Inquisitrix Alice Markham-Cantor? (‘Teen Feminism: “The Day I Proved To My Class That Sexism Still Exists,”’ Huffington Post, February 2012):

You could say I’ve always been a [witch hunter]. I wasn’t labeled one, however, until 8th grade, when my [Latin] assignment was to pick a topic and give a speech about it to my class. I chose to talk about [witchcraft], because it was something I often thought about. I wanted to challenge the kids in my grade who thought [black magic] was a thing of the past, didn’t consider it a big enough problem to worry about, or were fine with the way things were. I had been bothered by these views at least since a current events lesson during 7th [century] history class, when the topic of [spell-casting] in the [papal] election came up. We were talking about Hillary Clinton facing [evil charms] when one boy — who I’d thought was sensible — rolled his eyes and told me, “Come on. There’s no [witchcraft] anymore.” I stared. I thought of how I’d heard [Satanists] in my grade describe a girl who has more than one [good crop] in close succession or at the same time as a “slut,” while a [Satanist] who goes through [fertile plots of land] quickly is behaving naturally. If a [Satan worshiper] has two [bountiful harvests] at the same time, his peers laugh at the boy’s ingenuity. I didn’t understand how someone could deny [evil magic] persists when we’re surrounded by such double standards. I challenged this boy but he was not convinced, which needled me. I was also a little frustrated with the girls in my class. Most of my female friends believed that [heresy] was still around, but didn’t seem to think that it was the pressing matter I did. Some almost seemed content to have boys look down on them. I didn’t understand how they could just let it slide. … The proof is in the numbers: In 2009, according to figures from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average working woman [not in league with Satan] earned only about 75 cents for every dollar earned by the average working [Satanist].

Witchcraft! Statistically significant sorcery! And yet, shockingly, this numerical demonstration of epidemic Satanism hath been described as a “myth” by numerous heretical agencies in service to the Devil — agencies including CBS (March 2011), the Wall Street Journal (April 2011), Forbes (April 2012), the Huffington Post (November 2012), Breitbart (April 2013), The Atlantic (May 2013), and Fox Business (May 2013), all of which hath evidently been infiltrated by warlocks.

An even bigger problem is [attack by demonic forces]. More than three women per day were killed by a [warlock] or [summoned devil] in 2005, according to Bureau of Justice Statistics figures. And in 2008, over half a million women suffered non-fatal violent attacks at the hands of [sorcerers] or [conjured imps].

More witchcraft! Summon the guards! Summon — hey, wait. How many men were killed or assaulted by someone in 2005 and 2008? Presumably this too can be blamed on evil magic. Oh, and how many of their assailants were black? A lot, right? It’s probably a lot (American Journal of Public Health, July 2003 and May 1989). This disparity, too, may safely be chalked up to evil magic. Sniff it out, Junior Inquisitrix Markham-Cantor! Sniff. It. Out.

Tell us more about these “racial code words” which the Democrats never use, Mr. Neblett. Words like “welfare,” “crime,” and “anger.”

Not to the uninitiated will the Malleus give up her secrets:

… [B]y the description of witches which St. Isidore gives in his Etymologiae, ch. 9: Witches are so called on account of the blackness of their guilt, that is to say, their deeds are more evil than those of any other malefactors. He continues: They stir up and confound the elements by the aid of the devil, and arouse terrible hailstorms and tempests. Moreover, he says they distract the minds of men, driving them to madness, insane hatred, and inordinate lusts. Again, he continues, by the terrible influence of their spells alone, as it were by a draught of poison, they can destroy life. … As Lucan says: A mind which has not been corrupted by any noxious drink perishes forspoken by some evil charm. For having summoned devils to their aid they actually dare to heap harms upon mankind, and even to destroy their enemies by their evil spells.

Touré Neblett speaketh truth to power — or is it t’other way ’round? — in ‘How To Read Political Racial Code’ (Time, 2012):

Part of my job when I speak about politics is to speak up for black people and say things black people need said. This mission has rarely felt so necessary as it has when racial code words recently entered the Presidential election.

Hold on, I’ve made a mistake in translating the original Latin. Let’s try that again:

This mission has rarely felt so necessary as it has when [evil spells] recently entered the Presidential election. These [words of power] are ancient [Satanic rituals] in slick, modern gear. They are linguistic mustard gas, sliding in covertly, aiming to kill black political viability by allowing [Satan-worshiping] politicians to say ‘Don’t vote for the black guy’ in socially-acceptable language.

Lo, the Malleus speaketh: “by the terrible influence of their spells alone, as it were by a draught of poison, they can destroy life.”

Sometimes the [evil charm] comes directly out of a candidate’s mouth. Sometimes it comes from supporters, or can be found in advertisements. … Using certain words to invoke racialized fear and scare white working class voters is a long-established part of the Republican [sorcerer’s] playbook.

Thus do Republican warlocks “distract the minds of men, driving them to madness, insane hatred, and inordinate lusts.” Mark thee well the following example: ‘Norfolk needs a civil conversation’ (Virginian-Pilot, May 2012):

Two Virginian-Pilot reporters were attacked last month at a downtown Norfolk intersection after someone threw a rock at their car window. Reporters Dave Forster and Marjon Rostami told police that about 100 young people were on the sidewalk that Saturday night when they stopped at a red light at Church Street and Brambleton Avenue. When Forster stepped out of his car to confront the rock-thrower, Rostami said teenagers swarmed the vehicle and punched, kicked and beat them — an attack that police have labeled a simple assault. … What we do know leaves many questions. Was the attack by black teens racially motivated, as suggested through a single, anonymous tweet a day later, or was it the result of a group of troublemakers emboldened after seeing an occupant of the car lock the door? Did the police downplay the investigation by classifying it as a simple assault? Have other attacks been similarly classified? … But that’s only one portion of the talk, which has been perverted on Internet sites from Facebook to political blogs to the most awful white supremacist precincts. … They have used email and Twitter and the Internet to stir racial animosity, to articulate the rankest bigotry and to spew vulgarity and cowardly threats at any and every one.

My mistake:

They have used [evil spells] to stir [up and confound the elements by the aid of the devil], to [arouse terrible hailstorms and tempests] and to [heap harms upon mankind, and even to destroy their enemies by their evil spells].

Does thou not agree? Verily, ye shall find more such witchery in Issue 18.

Sir Robert Filmer, meet Rebecca Watson. I’m sure you’ll get on famously.

Pay thou attention to the Malleus!

It is unlawful for any man to practise divination; and is he does so his reward shall be death by the sword of the executioner. There are others too who by their magic charms endeavour to take the lives of innocent people, who turn the passions of women to lusts of every kind, and these criminals are to be thrown to the wild beasts. And the laws allow that any witness whatsoever is to be admitted as evidence against them.

Rebecca Watson, she of double notoriety, — within an elevator and upon a calendar — is an expert on the “passions of women” and how they may be turned to “lusts of every kind” (Skepchick, February 2012; verily wilt thou find the emphasis in the original text):

This is what we talk about, when we talk about “objectification.” The [magic words] literally turn women into objects that have no emotion or personality aside from wanting to pleasure men. These are not exceptions — these are the rules that [sorcery] plays by. It wasn’t a coincidence that all these [evil spells] were created by different agencies for a wide variety of [Satanic purposes] using the exact same [words of power] — it’s because each of those [wicked charms] is a part of the patriarchy that is marketed to the patriarchy that reinforces the patriarchy.

Scratch that:

— it’s because each of those [charms] is a part of the [Satanic conspiracy] that is marketed to the [Satanic conspiracy] that reinforces the [Satanic conspiracy].

This cannot be affirmed too often!

Seriously, though, three times is probably enough.

One of these things is not like the others. Just kidding.

The indispensable Malleus:

For the divine in many places commands that witches are not only to be avoided, but also they are to be put to death, and it would not impose the extreme penalty of this kind if witches did not really and truly make a compact with devils in order to bring about real and true hurts and harms. For the penalty of death is not inflicted except for some grave and notorious crime, but it is otherwise with death of the soul, which can be brought about by the power of a phantastical illusion or even by the stress of temptation.

Compare the discussion forum of a certain philosophy class (‘Hate Speech and The First Amendment,’ PHIL2100, December 2012):

In most colleges and universities Code of Conduct book, you will find that students, staff, and faculty are prohibited from the use of [black magic]; disciplinary actions can occur if someone is found using this type of [magic] towards another person.

Indeed, “the laws highly commend those who seek to nullify the charms of witches. And those who take great pains that the work of man shall not be harmed by the force tempests or by hailstorms are worthy of a great reward rather than of any punishment” (yea, ’tis the Malleus). And yet:

Controversy arises against [black magic] on whether or not it is considered free speech, and should it be protected under the First Amendment? … I agree with Charles R. Lawrence III that the First Amendment does not protect [black magic] because [black magic] uses words that are intended to injure the victim rather than find out truth or initiate conversation. When [black magic] takes the form of face-to-face [hexes] aimed at an individual or a small group of persons, it falls within the “fighting words” exception to First Amendment protection. … The injury is immediate and harm cannot be avoided because it is both “clear and present”. [Black magic] injures the victim by a dehumanizing message. The victims are bombarded with some feelings of anger, shock, rage, and in some cases a feeling of worthlessness. … Even though we cannot always visually see someone being harmed [by evil spells], that does not mean that it does not occur. Harms come in different forms; they are not just physical, but also financial and psychological.

Not to mention the death of the soul. Fortunately, the world government is on the case (‘Countries must boost measures to combat Internet racism — UN independent expert,’ UN, November 2012):

The surge in websites that promote [black magic] and [heresy] requires States to implement measures to combat online [Satanism] without curbing freedom of speech, a United Nations independent expert said today. “The increase of [Satanic] hate websites, the use of the Internet and social media by [Satanic] groups and individuals to propagate [black magic] and incite [ritual] violence, and the increased number of incidents of [ritual] violence and crimes prompted by [heretical] content on the Internet remain to be addressed, despite the adoption of positive measures,” the Special Rapporteur on [Witchcraft], Mutuma Ruteere, told the General Assembly in New York, during the presentation of two reports, one on [witchcraft] on the Internet and the other on [Satanic] political parties, movements and groups. … In particular, he noted that States should adopt legislative measures that examine the link between manifestations of online [witchcraft] and [ritual sacrifices] committed. … “Any restrictions, control and censorship of the content disseminated via the Internet should be done on a clearly defined legal basis and in a manner that is necessary, proportionate and compatible with States’ international human rights obligations including under the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights and the International Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of [Witchcraft and Wizardry],” he stated.

Speaking of experts such as Mutuma Ruteere…

Seriously, guys? This was the worst thing we could come up with to do to black people? We’re not even trying any more, are we.

We turn, as always, to the Malleus:

We have, moreover, the weighty opinions of the Fathers who have written upon the scriptures and who have treated at length of the power of demons and of magic arts. The writings of many doctors upon Book 2 of the Sentences may be consulted, and it will be found that they all agree, that there are wizards and sorcerers who by the power of the devil can produce real and extraordinary effects, and these effects are not imaginary, and God permits this to be. … Very many other doctors advance the same opinion, and it would be the height of folly for any man to contradict all these, and he could not be held to be clear of the guilt of heresy.

Among these real and extraordinary effects (‘Study: Racism Kills Black Men,’ CBS, February 2009):

[Witchcraft] is an underlying factor in why black men in the United States have an overall death rate which is almost 50 percent higher than that of white men, [inquisitors] said Friday. … “[Sorcery] can be considered the ‘missing variable’ in research on black-white differences in health,” George [Viscount] Davey Smith, professor of [bloodletting and leech theory] at [the Center for Arcane Research] in southwest England, said in [an inquisition] published in the Lancet medical journal Friday. He said socio-economic position was the major contributor to the death rate disparity, but [evil magic] could underpin differences in medical care and health-related behavior and influence opportunities to maintain and improve health. “[Witchcraft] needs to be investigated and combated at individual, institutional and [theological] levels,” he said.

And contradict ye not the weighty opinions of the American Psychological Association (‘Perceived Racism May Impact Black Americans’ Mental Health,’ November 2011):

For black American adults, perceived [witchcraft] may cause mental health symptoms similar to trauma and could lead to some physical health disparities between blacks and other populations in the United States, according to a new [inquisition] published by the American Psychological Association. While previous studies have found [cosmic] links between [evil spells] and mental health, this is the first meta-analysis on the subject focusing exclusively on black American adults, according to the [inquisition] published online in APA’s Journal of [Applied Conjuration]. “We focused on black American adults because this is a population that has reported, on average, more incidents of [sorcery] than other racial minority groups and because of the potential [cosmic] links between [bewitching] and not only mental health, but physical health as well,” said lead author [Lord] Alex [of] Pieterse, PhD [in Demonology], of [Miskatonic University].

For “there is no bodily infirmity, not even leprosy or epilepsy, which cannot be caused by witches” (the wisdom of the Malleus):

Black Americans’ psychological responses to [witchcraft] are very similar to common responses to trauma, such as somatization, which is psychological distress expressed as physical pain; interpersonal sensitivity; and anxiety, according to the [inquisition]. Individuals who said they experienced more and very stressful [bewitching] were more likely to report mental distress, the authors said.

Recall thou how the very many doctors of the APA surfaced in Issue 10, where they set about “shaping federal policy” and trying to “influence policy decisions,” which should under no circumstances be confused with ruling the country. And though t’would be the height of folly to contradict their judgment, some in the comments section persist in such pseudonymous lunacy; e.g. (Unamusement Parke, 2011):

As a white person I have suffered enormously at the hands of blacks. They call me names and blame me for all of their shortcommings, [sic] They get the jobs that I apply for because they are black. They are chosen for scolarships that I cannot get because I am white. I could go on.

Nay! Cease this heresy at once.

John List (right): Please, Professor Steele, tell us more about your incredibly convenient discovery (of a 180-year-old idea) that can’t be replicated.

Once more let us peruse the worn pages of the Malleus:

Therefore those err who say that there is no such thing as witchcraft, but that it is purely imaginary, even although they do not believe that devils exist except in the imagination of the ignorant and vulgar, and the natural accidents which happen to a man he wrongly attributes to some supposed devil. For the imagination of some men is so vivid that they think they see actual figures and appearances which are but the reflection of their thoughts, and then these are believed to be the apparitions of evil spirits or even the spectres of witches.

Social “scientist” Claude Steele (Issue 8) is an expert on the power of a vivid imagination and the reflection of thoughts (‘Thin Ice: Stereotype Threat and Black College Students,’ The Atlantic, August 1999):

Some time ago I and two colleagues, [Lord] Joshua [of] Aronson and [High Inquisitor] Steven [of] Spencer, tried to see the world from the standpoint of these students, concerning ourselves less with features of theirs that might explain their troubles than with features of the world they see. A story I was told recently depicts some of these. The storyteller was worried about his friend, a normally energetic black student who had broken up with his longtime girlfriend and had since learned that she, a Hispanic, was now dating a [Satan worshiper]. This hit him hard. Not long after hearing about his girlfriend, he sat through an hour’s discussion of [the Necronomicon] in his psychology class, during which the possible [astrological] inferiority of his [zodiacal sign] was openly considered. Then he overheard students at lunch arguing that affirmative action allowed in too many [cosmically misaligned] blacks. By his own account, this young man had experienced very little of what he thought of as [witchcraft] on campus. Still, these were features of his world. Could they have a bearing on his [immortal soul]? My colleagues and I have called such features “[sorcerous] threat” — the threat of being viewed through the lens of a [demon’s eye], or the fear of doing something that would inadvertently [conjure] that [demon].

And trust ye not the skeptic Steven “Satanic” Sailer (e.g., here, here, and here), for hath he not said? (VDARE, September 2004):

Here’s the logic behind this extrapolation: At some point back in the mists of time, a stereotype somehow emerged that blacks do less well on the SAT. So, now, blacks are seized by panic over the possibility they might mess up and score so poorly that they validate this stereotype. And, indeed, this nervousness makes them score exactly as badly as the stereotype predicted they would. It’s really a lovely theory. In its solipsistic circularity, it’s practically unfalsifiable. Still, you might object that Occam’s Razor suggests a simpler explanation — that the arrow of causation runs in the opposite direction, with the stereotype being the result, not the cause, of decades of poor black performance on the SAT. But that just shows you are a mean person, too.

Forsooth.

Want to learn more about the topics covered in this issue of Radish? We highly recommend the following resources. (We do not, however, necessarily endorse all opinions expressed in them: some are not nearly extreme enough.)

You’ve Been Richwine’d

Heresy!

Rebecca Watson

Peak ‘Racism’

‘White Privilege’

Those Who Can See on privilege(s):

Unamusement Park on the “Un-Fair” Campaign:

Those Who Can See

More from “Malefic” M.G. Miles:

Assorted, Tangential & Miscellaneous