The “Law of Attraction” is a concept I have a hard time believing in. It’s one of those mystical, pseudo-scientific, woo-woo hippie concepts I just can’t seem to give credit to.

Books like “The Secret” and “The Law of Attraction” and names like Abraham Hicks pop up all over the internet and have a cult-like following, despite having little to no scientific evidence to back it up.

If you’re not familiar with it, people who believe in the “Law of Attraction” (LOA) believe that you manifest what you think. That you can manifest any of your wildest dreams and desires (or worst fears and horrible misfortune)…just by thinking about it and visualizing it.

They believe that everything you have in your life is a representation of what you have attracted into it…both good and bad. If you have a beautiful life filled with abundance, it’s because you manifested it by thinking positively. Conversely if you have negativity and suffering in your life…it’s because you have attracted it into your life by thinking negatively.

*Note — To followers of this law I’m probably over-generalizing and over simplifying, but this is how I would explain it in a nutshell without going into the underlying techniques practiced.

I like to demystify concepts like these. To break it down into the understandable. To remove the mystical spirituality and see if there are any core principles lying underneath that make sense and can be applied into one’s own life.

After reading about and studying this law over the last few months via books like “The Law of Attraction”, “The Master Key System” and Jesse Elder, I will say that I do believe that when you throw away the mystical magical components, there is a lot of practicality that makes sense. It’s a technique that DOES WORK…but not for the reasons that they claim.

So here is my personal understanding of the law of attraction and how I would explain it to someone else, based on how I use it in my own life.

Let’s start off with the example of manifesting love and a healthy relationship.

Let’s say that you had a traumatic experience in your life in relation to love. Maybe you were sexually abused, or cheated on, or someone broke your heart.

When you think back on those memories, there will be a lot of painful emotion that pops up. You might cry or feel physical pain, start shaking, etc.

Because of this previous experience around love, when you approach new loving relationships, you will probably have your guard up. You have been hurt in the past and want to protect yourself from getting hurt again (for good reason!).

BUT, this makes you closed off. You don’t want to be vulnerable (open) for fear of getting hurt again, so you don’t allow that person in (or you are resistant/slow to let them in).

The problem with this however, is that it is rooted in fear. You are afraid of being hurt, and thus need to protect yourself.

Fear closes you off. Makes you retreat. Prevents you from taking action.

It repels love like an opposite magnetic force. Repels others away from you.

Because you’re still living in fear, you are repelling love from your life. Not allowing it in.

Therefore, you can’t manifest love in your life until you have let go of the fear and the emotions associated with it. The more you hold onto the pain of your previous experiences, the more you repel love and prevent yourself from “manifesting” it.

So what can you do to fix this?

Sit with those emotions. Look back on them, feel them, and allow that emotion to flow.

Over time, the intensity of those feelings will subside. They won’t be as overwhelming.

When you get to this point, try to think about how that experience was GOOD for. you. How it made you a better person. How it helped you to identify WHAT YOU WANT out of a relationship in life.

Eventually you can begin to FEEL gratitude and appreciation for that previously negative experience. You can begin to associate positive feelings with it. You can begin to feel the love.

As you do this, you open yourself back up to love. Your fear is no longer holding you back. You’re ready to be vulnerable (open) again because your previous pain is no longer rooted in fear. Instead, it has been transformed into love and appreciation and gratitude.

Thus, when you look for new relationships, you’re no longer stuck in your old patterns. Instead of being closed off because of fear, you’re now open again. You can now “manifest” a great loving relationship because you’re no longer clinging to your previous pain.

You’re now open to love, because you know what you want.

This is an important part — Coming from the perspective of “what I want” vs. “what I don’t”

When you’re rooted in fear, you come from a place of “what I don’t”

“I don’t want to be hurt again” “I don’t want someone who is abusive” “I don’t want someone who takes me for granted”

Fear. Fear. Fear.

When you are rooted in love, you come from a place of “what I want”

“I want someone who loves and appreciates me” “I want someone who inspires me.” “I want someone who makes me feel good about myself.”

Love. Love. Love 🙂

When you think in terms of what you want…you get it! But when you think in terms of what you DON’T want, you also get it! Therefore it’s important to think in terms of what you want, rather than what you don’t.

This applies to so many other areas of our lives as well.

“I don’t want to be broke” vs. “I want to be rich!” “I don’t want to be around negativity”vs. “I want to be around people who inspire me” “I don’t want to die” vs “I want to LIVE!”

Think in terms of what you want, and then go take action to turn those wants into reality.