Back to school was always an occasion I looked forward to when I was kid. It was a time to reconnect with friends, show off my new sneakers and put to use my carefully selected school supplies. Like most beginnings it was exciting and offered the promise of something new.

Those days are long over for me, but are just starting for our son. As he returns to school for his second year I see in his eyes the same optimism that I once had during my days of higher learning – on his first day he dressed himself, ate breakfast in record time and waited patiently for me at the door, ready to depart.

So what has changed since the last first day of school?

Aside from the complete cooperation throughout our morning routine (as mentioned above) and a few inches of height, not too much has changed for our son. He holds the same excitement and enthusiasm as 12 months ago and possesses an eagerness to exploit all that kindergarten has to offer. The new faces do not faze him and he embraces going through the daily motions.

The same can’t be said for me. My experience as a father on my son’s second first day of school has evolved and differs greatly from that of the first.

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Sadness and anxiety have been replaced with joy and anticipation. As much as I want my son to spend time with me and learn all of the lessons I have to teach, I understand that these periods apart are healthy for both of us. He needs his time to interact with classmates and explore new environments independently. And as important, I need time to pursue my passions and work on building a dimension of my life that I can call my own.

I now view our time apart as something positive for our relationship and do not fear it. When we come together at the end of the day, we appreciate each other more and don’t take our time together for granted. He is happy to leave in the morning, but is completely enthused to return home at the end of the day. I am happy knowing that he looks forward to his days and I love seeing his smiling face when I pick him up from class. Being a stay at home dad my son has been dependent on me for most of his life. And little did I know it, I was dependent on him as well – I relied upon him to provide me a sense of purpose. He remains to serve in that capacity but I no longer feel that I am defined solely through being a parent.

I like the balance I have found between being a husband, father, and an individual.

Since last year I have relinquished the notion that my son needs me hovering over his every move. I can stay within arms reach of each facet of his life and embrace that the influence of others will benefit him. I have been able to hone in on being there for him in the most important and impactful ways – through unconditional love, encouragement, positivity, support and as a guide.

As I dropped my son off for his second first day of school, I didn’t cry; I was happy. I didn’t look back; I knew he was safe. I didn’t wonder if he would be okay; he was where he needed and wanted to be. While the other parents snapped there photos, consoled their nervous children and anxiously paced at the sight of this unfolding milestone, I walked away smiling, leaving excited about the school year and the promise of something new.