I recently posed a simple question on my Twitter: which utensil do you use to eat mac and cheese, a fork or a spoon? I have too much faith in humanity, so I assumed that literally all but the strangest few would pick "fork." But according to 21 percent of the 13,487 people who answered my poll, a spoon is a socially acceptable way to eat mac and cheese. We knew that the childhood favorite would inspire passionate debate, but I was really shocked at all these responses.

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IMPORTANT: Do you eat mac and cheese with a fork or a spoon? — Sam H. Escobar (@myhairisblue) August 4, 2016

That's right, folks: one out of five people don't know how to eat mac and cheese. Tragic, I know.

After posting my poll, I quickly received countless tweets from livid members of both arguments. The fork people didn't understand how anyone could possibly use a spoon; the spoon people declared it sacrilegious that anyone might use a fork.

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A fork, because I’m an adult. https://t.co/gIt2C1Q9B8 — Amadi is Quasi-Hiatused-Ish (@amaditalks) August 4, 2016

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I'm blocking all the fork people. Congratulations on being reported to Twitter for spreading hate. — Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) August 4, 2016

The mac and cheese moderates boasted sporks as a solution, as though anyone has literally ever used a spork by choice.

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It was a bloodbath. Nay, a cheese bath. And the answers only got more ridiculous as the poll went on.

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fork bc how else can you do this?? pic.twitter.com/Fb4W9wT5rs — annalise domenighini (@bananalise) August 4, 2016

Cheese companies themselves got in on the debate:

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I found that even the people closest to me were on the wrong side of the battle. For example, my roommate and I had this awkward moment:

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[describing this poll to roommate]

ME: so obviously the answer is fork

HER: wow no

ME: ...wow

HER: wow

ME: — Sam H. Escobar (@myhairisblue) August 4, 2016

For those one out of five people who are living life incorrectly, let me break it down for you regarding why you need to use a fork, starting with the basics.

Mac and cheese: a macaroni noodle dish that incorporates cheese. The latter proponent can change from reasonable muted yet delicious yellow hues to shades of orange once only produced in Chernobyl. Like all noodle dishes, it deserves to be consumed with a fork. While you may use a spoon to assist in the gathering and twirling of noodles, the most integral tool in your dining experience is a fork.

And before anyone argues that you should eat mac and cheese the same way you might consume cereal, and that being able to spoon up the remaining cheese is equivocal to spooning up the remaining milk, let's just establish an undeniable truth: mac and cheese is not cereal. Cereal cannot be speared without breaking apart, thus exposing more of each piece's surface to its accompanying dissolvent. Cheese does not lead your noodles to become soggy crumbs in the way milk does to cereal, and doesn't need to be eaten in quick, repetitious scoops. Noodles, on the other hand, can be pierced perfectly in order to gather the perfect amount on your fork.

Mac and cheese is not soup. Mac and cheese is not ice cream. Mac and cheese is an entity in its own right, and it deserves your fork.

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