This was what really was said when Cameron and Clegg met in Downing Street

What Dave and Nick really said to each other on the steps of No 10

Cameron God, but I love you . . .

Clegg It is the love that dare not speak its name.

Cameron To hell with what anyone may think, I want the whole world to know I would gladly melt into your arms for ever.

Clegg Say you'll never leave me.

Cameron I'm yours and yours alone. At least for a couple of months.

Clegg I've got to have you. Right here, right now.

Cameron That tie goes so well with your hair.

Clegg You feel a-m-a-a-a-a-zing. Your arms are so buff.

Cameron I bet you say that to all the boys.

Clegg Don't tease me. I'm feeling very vulnerable.

Cameron Has anyone ever told me how much you remind me of my fag?

Clegg I would have died to be your fag.

Cameron Your political career just has.

Clegg That's odd, so has yours.