Because somewhere in the world (Kansas, America) there lives a man who's never experienced a period in his life and has therefore imagined it to look like something straight out of a horror movie - gasp! A bleeding axe wound! Cover your eyes! - the world has been blessed with its latest pointless invention. A lipstick that glues vagina lips together so period blood will stay put.

Sounds far from healthy to me.

According to METRO, the American chiropractor behind the creation - which has been named Mensez - is Daniel Dopps. In a Facebook post on the product's page spotted by Facebook user Thea Butler, Dopps explains how the adhesive would work.



Comparing it to how you can temporarily stick your face lips together if they're dry enough, the post explains that "all you had to do was wet your lips from the inside with saliva and they became unstuck. This is the principal behind Mensez" - users apparently simply urinate and all the period blood "automatically washes away into the toilet".

In the same breath, the Facebook post labels the invention a "revolutionary" and, wait for it, "safer" means for women to "control their periods". Riiiight.

Facebook/Thea Butler

In another post on the Facebook, which was spotted by Twitter user Tara, the product maker boasts that users "don't have to see [period blood], and you certainly don't have to touch it anymore". As if it's some kind of plague-ridden thing that will poison and corrupt you. I mean, Jesus Christ.

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This is the stupidest thing I've seen in a LONG time. pic.twitter.com/BAsun8B0Kv — Tara Costello 🩸 (@Catstello) February 19, 2017

I don't know about you, but I think I'll just stick to my tampons, thanks. Granted, it does mean we have to indirectly interact with our period blood every time we change it, but that's a risk I'm willing to take for the sake of not turning my body into some kind of menstrual prison.

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