HAMILTON – Premier Doug Ford and his Ontario PCs are decisively ahead among children who hate their schools, principals, and teachers.

According to an Ipsos poll, 95% of Ontario elementary and high school students who strongly dislike or “fucking hate” school fully support keeping teachers on rotating strikes.

“I fully support him,” said Cameron McArthur, a grade 10 from Hamilton East Secondary who was spending his day in his basement playing Red Dead Redemption 2. “I get all of this free time off because he likes to piss off the teachers. I’ve already beat this game twice.”

A further 97% said they want to see their teachers’ benefits cut immediately and 99% said they would be fine with their schools burning down effectively ending public education as they know it.

“I’m finding myself to be much more productive,” said grade 11 student and local bully Tim Schmit tossing a rock through a window at an abandoned factory. “I love Ford’s class sizes of 0 because everyone is on strike. If he could fire my English teacher Mrs. Rossi too that would be great. She’s a total bitch.”