But a whole lot of lives have been saved by that ridiculous shit. For instance ...

If, like most of us, you find yourself secretly hating rich people now and then, it's probably because of the stupid and frivolous shit they buy. Even if you're not a Marxist, you can't help but think of the starving children of the world when you see some douchebag professional athlete sitting on his yacht, his trophy wife on the phone scheduling yet another cosmetic surgery. A whole segment of our economy is dedicated to making ridiculous shit for these shallow douchebags.

6 Jacuzzi: Hot Tub Healing Machine

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Nothing says "class" like having a Jacuzzi hot tub at your disposal. It's the luxury of choice for orange New Jersey hood rats, young black rappers and wrinkly old white guys alike, as well as any other differently colored people who enjoy relaxing romps in bubbly hot water. Hot tubs are so universally associated with sex and decadence that we imagine the inventor as some kind of pimp granddaddy.



Who looks like this.

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Its Noble Origin

Hot tub inventor Candido Jacuzzi, far from being a decadent playboy, was actually a dedicated father who invented the Jacuzzi to treat his son's debilitating pain.

The seven Jacuzzi brothers immigrated from Italy at the beginning of the 20th century and made their livings manufacturing pumps for airplanes and agriculture. Unfortunately, Candido Jacuzzi's son Kenneth was only 15 months old when he was stricken with rheumatoid arthritis. Jacuzzi took his son to doctors, who could offer no more hope than occasional hydrotherapy treatments at the hospital. The sight of his son suffering caused Jacuzzi to break down into depression and feel powerless against the disease.

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Oh wait, no. Jacuzzi didn't boo-hoo into his mustachio -- hefixed that shit.



To the Jacuzzi Cave!

Using their knowledge of pump-making, Jacuzzi and his brothers set about designing a hydrotherapy device for home use. In 1948, they came out with the J300 portable pump, which could turn any bathtub into a healing spa. Kenneth Jacuzzi could get hospital-quality hydrotherapy at home, thanks to the work of his pops.

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The device originally was sold as a therapeutic device to drugstores, but then the company found more sales in home luxury. The company improved the design into the modern Jacuzzi all-in-one hot tubs throughout the 1960s and into 1970s, single-handedly creating the decadent culture of hot tub stripper parties.