Posted by Staff Writer - Kingston on 31st Mar 2016

Queen’s University in Kingston has revoked the degree of a University alumnus suspected of being the mastermind behind a sophisticated non-alcoholic beer brewing operation. Multiple sources confirmed yesterday that Ted Fleming, a graduate of the Faculty of Applied Science and Engineering, was charged with one count of brewing non-alcoholic beer with the intent to distribute (www.drinkpartake.com).

The University issued a statement late last night defending its decision: “Queen’s University is known world-wide, not only as an academic institution of the highest standards, but also as a party school of equally high standards. Any association between non-alcoholic beer and the University will not be taken lightly as it represents a direct assault on the reputation of the University.”

Queen’s University is consistently ranked among the best academic schools in the country by MacLean’s Magazine in their annual University Ranking but of higher importance to the University and its students is the fact that it was ranked as the Top Party School in Canada by Tilt.com.

When reached for comment Mr. Fleming offered this assessment of the situation: “technically, there is more engineering involved in making non-alcoholic beer so this whole thing seems to be very political” and added “I guess an order for frosh week is out of the question.” Mr. Fleming has retained the legal services of respected defense attorney Lionel Hutz.

Kingston Police who raided the brew-op discovered over 20 kinds of non-alcoholic beer as well as non-alcoholic wine, cider and spirits. “We’ve never seen anything like this” a source close to the investigation revealed “and the scary thing is all these non-alcoholic beers taste like the real thing.”