Weinstein or Spacey, this website makes celebs really sorry for sexual harassment

world

Updated: Nov 21, 2017 11:42 IST

Irony is best served cold, and brutal.

A new website called the Celebrity Perv Apology Generator imagines ‘honest’ public apologies of powerful men who have been accused of sexual abuse or harassment and were not straightforward in saying “sorry” .

A careful reader can recognise which public figure the sardonic ‘apologies’ mock.

One ridicules Hollywood film producer Harvey Weinstein whom at least 65 women have accused of sexual harassment:

“While I do not recall the events at the 2009 Golden Globes Party transpiring the same way, I feel tremendously guilty now that the things I did have been made public. I imagined that any woman would have been thrilled to see a ...peeking out from below my pasty, middle-aged paunch like the head of a geriatric albino turtle moments from death, and of course now I realize my behaviour was wrong. In conclusion, I will get the help I so desperately need because this isn’t actually my fault, I have a problem so I’m not responsible for my actions.”

Another apparently targets US President Donald Trump who was embarrassed during the 2016 election campaign when a videotape in which he is boasting about “grabbing” women was released:

“As the father of daughters, I am deeply ashamed (but not “sorry” because that means I’m guilty of something). It was simply boys locker room talk, and of course now I realize my behaviour was wrong. In conclusion, I will not change anything about my actions or behaviour.”

The generator doesn’t space House of Cards star Kevin Spacey, taunting him for coming out as gay in his official statement after actor Anthony Rapp accused of sexually harassing him when Rapp was a child.

“As the father of daughters, I am deeply ashamed (but not “sorry” because that means I’m guilty of something). I comforted myself by saying that at least I asked before I... and of course now I realize my behaviour was wrong. In conclusion, I have chosen to live my life as a gay man so if you say anything bad about me now you’re homophobic.”

The Oscar-winner actor was widely criticised for attempting to divert attention from sexual harassment charges.

In October, 13 women claimed in a New Yorker magazine expose they were sexually harassed or raped by media mogul Harvey Weinstein. The article prompted dozens of women to publically come forward and say they were victims of Weinstein’s misconduct.

Since then, the flood gates have opened, in what is being termed as the Harvey Weinstein effect. A barrage of accusations of sexual abuse have been levelled unsparingly against public figures, including Republican judge Roy Moore and talk show host Charlie Rose who are among some prominent names to have been embroiled in controversies.

The website is the work of writers Dana Schwartz, Rob Sheridan and designer Scott McCaughey.