We British are a sorry lot. Our apology-addiction is a point of national pride and one area in which we have always outstripped the rest of the world. According to a recent YouGov poll, Brits say sorry up to 50% more than Americans. But for a couple of hours on Sunday night, the contrition tables turned. As the presidential election moved from debate to debacle, Americans flocked to Twitter to apologise to the world for Donald Trump. A parody Jill Biden account, for example, tweeted: “Sorry, rest of the World. We’re embarrassed too. #debate”, and got 45,000 likes.

It wasn’t long, however, before the UK was apologising back to the US about Nigel Farage. As if Trump hadn’t ruined our Sunday evening enough, you see, the outgoing leader of Ukip decided to continue the damage. Farage appeared in the spin room following the debate to praise Trump’s performance. Likening Trump to a silverback gorilla, Farage said: “He looked like a big gorilla prowling the set. He is that big alpha male – that’s who he is.” At the end of this soliloquy, a bewildered reporter inquired, “Sir, can I just ask: what are you doing here?”

The short answer to this is: continuing the damage. If Trump is a gorilla, then Farage is, as memorably described by the actor Christoph Waltz, “the head rat leaving the sinking ship”. Having “liberated” Britain, Farage was quick to remove himself from the actual work of Brexiting. Rather, he headed over to the US to continue inspiring popular revolt alongside Trump. Farage has become something of a rock star to conservative Americans. The rightwing talkshow host Steve Deace called him “probably the global politician not named Netanyahu most adored by American conservatives”. He makes regular appearances on Fox News. He also seems to have become Trump’s personal fluffer. He was at the debate at Trump’s request and also attended the Republican national convention as well as a Trump rally in Mississippi in August. While many in Trump’s own party have distanced themselves from the increasingly indefensible nominee, Farage is resolutely standing by Donald “Just Call Me Mr Brexit” Trump.

Farage’s stateside trumpeting may not seem like much of a big deal, but it is. Farage has an international platform; his animal analogies were written up by a number of American outlets, including Time, CNN, the Chicago Tribune and Newsweek. This reflects back on Britain. It doesn’t just say to America: this is what Nigel Farage thinks. It says, to some degree: this is what the UK thinks. It aligns Brexit Britain with Trump’s values (or dearth thereof). And this gets to the heart of what Farage is really doing in America: claiming Brexit as a victory for his brand of racism and intolerance. Telling the US that Britain feels just like him. Acting as a sort of anti-ambassador.

In an August speech to the Institute for Public Policy Research Tim Farron, leader of the Liberal Democrats, warned that the UK has become a “laughing stock abroad” and identified Farage as one of the “malevolent forces” tarnishing the country’s image after the EU referendum. Farron told the Guardian that the rest of the world was increasingly associating the UK with figures such as the interim Ukip leader and stressed that we mustn’t allow the likes of Farage, Boris Johnson, David Davis, and Liam Fox to represent Britain. “They don’t.”

No, they don’t. But if we’re not careful then Farage and BoJo are going to become the smug, smirking faces of Britain to the outside world. So how does Britain wrest back control of its international image? What’s needed, I think, is a squad of Brexit-busters. Celebrities who actually represent modern Britain and are tasked with working together to counterbalance malevolent forces such as Farage. A sort of 2016 Captain Planet, tasked with taking political pollution down to zero.

First three spots on the squad go to Adele, JK Rowling and Zadie Smith. Obviously. The next goes to Zayn Malik. He may have broken a million hearts with his One Direxit but he is one of the most positive ambassadors of Britishness abroad. Indeed, the poor guy is routinely held up as Modern Muslim British Man Who is Good Role Model by the media. As well as helping to spread the message that not all Muslims are Isis, Malik is telling the world that not all British food is awful. Apparently he’s working as the UK’s unofficial cultural ambassador and helping his girlfriend, Gigi Hadid, get “super into British foods”. The model told ES magazine: “I’m loving Heinz baked beans in the morning.” If Malik can get Hadid to wax lyrical about baked beans, then anything is possible.

James Corden’s recent runaway success in America is another example of overcoming the odds. While most British personalities presenting on American TV have played into the evil Brit trope (think: Gordon Ramsay, Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan), Corden has proved you can be genuinely nice and still get good ratings.

The final opening goes to John Oliver. The host of HBO’s Last Week Tonight, watched by 4 million Americans, has become a cult figure in the US, where he is far more famous than he is at home. Oliver has turned British sarcasm into something of a superpower; his jokes are helping to change America for the better, something Time magazine termed the “John Oliver effect”. His takedown of proposed changes to net neutrality laws, for example, has been credited, in part, with pushing the Federal Communications Commission to vote for regulations against internet “fast lanes”. Who knows, Oliver’s segment on the EU referendum, in which he pleaded with Brits to vote remain, might have had an effect on the British electorate. However, due to British media impartiality rules, it was never shown there on TV.

Which sums up 2016 in the UK: a British politician gushing about gorillas to show his support for a man who says he likes to grope women is just regular news. A British comedian making jokes about the referendum, however, is unsuitable for television. Sorry, rest of the world. We’re embarrassed too.