by Vito Rispo

Sometimes bad marketing slips past the boardroom and enters the sphere of public consumption. We love that. Bad marketing is usually hilarious. Combine that with unintentionaly sexy kid’s toys, and that’s double hilarity.

So here are the Top 5 Least Well-Thought Out Children’s Toys.

Enjoy:



5. Growing Up Skipper

Growing Up Skipper was intended to be Barbie’s younger sister. When she first came out, she was a pre-pubescent young girl, and as time went on, they put out taller and older versions of the doll. Eventually, in 1975, Mattel decided to create a version of the doll that actually grew up on her own. That’s right, she matured before your eyes. Turn her arm and she grew about a 1/2 inch, and her boobs suddenly appeared. Pretty amazing toy, even though they took it off the market after only a year.

4. The Nimbus 2000

Ah yes, the Nimbus 2000, Harry Potter’s flying broomstick. This brilliant toy was taken off the market in 2001 because teenage girls discovered their little brothers new toy vibrated when you put it between your legs. Who’d thunk it?

3. The Oozinator

I can’t even watch this video. It’s got to be the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever seen.

2. Love ‘n Licks pets

Wow. The advertising team that worked on this must have been just totally oblivious. But the explanation I like to believe is that there was one guy, just one new guy sitting in the back offering up these ideas. Giggling to himself as the oblivious boss says “You know what Johnson, you’re on fire, that’s a great idea!”. Just like me, when in military school, I said our troop should be called the Spread Eagles. And the troop leader thought it was a good idea. Sometime you just get lucky.

1. Michael Jackson Doll

Not much to say here. It’s Michael Jackson, in doll form, allowed into the bedrooms of children across the country. Let’s just leave that one alone.