Like many, I’m an unabashed fan of Sir Michael Palin. But unlike many, who adore him as a founding member of Monty Python, my love is rooted in the travel documentaries he made. As someone who’s literally traveled around the world overland, I have a weakness for epic trips that are grand by design.

And if you’ve never watched (or read the companion books for) his shows Around the World in 80 Days (in which he follows the itinerary in Jules Verne’s story as closely as possible), Pole to Pole (in which he travels from the North Pole to the South Pole), or Full Circle (in which he travels some 50,000 miles and circumnavigates the Pacific Ocean), you’re missing out on some of the best – and most entertaining – travel adventure of the last 30 years.

In addition to these three, he’s got a slew of other documentaries – he even travels to North Korea! – and seriously, they’re on par with Anthony Bourdain. They’re that good.

As the kids say, I stan.

But I’m not here to ONLY talk about Palin’s travels. Turns out, he hasn’t completely abandoned his geeky side.

Big Finish announced today that Palin is joining the Torchwood crew (sort of) in their upcoming audio release, Torchwood: Tropical Beach Sounds and Other Relaxing Seascapes #4.

The release – which is written by Tim Foley, coming in April 2020, and available for preorder now, is an entire story told from the perspective of a haunted self-help tape.

I stan.

You are listening to a self-help tape. You are hearing a soothing voice. You have always wanted to do something with your life, haven’t you? Oh, how you’ve ached to be a better person. Well now. This is your chance. Go on. Sit back. Close your eyes. Relax. You’re going to learn all about Captain Jack Harkness. You’re going to learn all about Torchwood. You’re going to change the world.

According to Palin, “I don’t normally get offered something like this. . . . It definitely attracted me because there’s an awful lot to it. It’s such a complex piece – from larky-jokey to very, very violent. It’s quite an adventure for me. . . . I didn’t do it because it was Torchwood. I haven’t seen a lot of it. I did it because it was a rather fascinating piece of writing.”

Here, take a quick listen:

I, for one, am a HUGE fan of Torchwood and of Sir Michael Palin. And the conceit of this story sounds AMAZING. I was already on board.

But when Big Finish producer James Goss said, “This really is a release to listen to in a darkened room,” they had me.

Torchwood. Captain Jack. Michael Palin. A haunted self-help tape.

I stan.