Hanekawa: You have to treat everybody’s views - whatever they believe - with equal respect.

You have to treat everybody’s views - whatever they believe - with equal respect. Senjougahara: What? Even idiots?

Tsukihi: Senjougahara!

Senjougahara! Senjougahara, poking her head into the room: What’s wrong?

What’s wrong? Tsukihi and Sengoku, hiding under the covers of Tsukihi’s bed: Can you close the closet door? We think we saw a monster.

Can you close the closet door? We think we saw a monster. Senjougahara, shutting the door and not knowing how to keep her mouth shut: What makes you think that monsters can’t open doors?

What makes you think that monsters can’t open doors? [half an hour later]

Koyomi, to Senjougahara, with Sengoku and Tsukihi sleeping in between them in their bed: I’m never allowing you to interact with them at bedtime ever again.

Senjougahara: Look, after shooting my mouth off the other night I've been feeling a lot of... well...

Look, after shooting my mouth off the other night I've been feeling a lot of... well... Oikura: Guilt.

Guilt. Senjougahara: No, not that.

No, not that. Araragi: Guilt?

Guilt? Senjougahara: Yes, that.

Yes, that. Senjougahara: I... I don't like Oikura to be right.

Kagenui: I am like Superman. And the other oddity specialists are like citizens of Gotham City.

I am like Superman. And the other oddity specialists are like citizens of Gotham City. Gaen: That's Batman.

That's Batman. Kagenui: Okay, I'm Aquaman. Where does he live?

Okay, I'm Aquaman. Where does he live? Oshino: The ocean.

The ocean. Kagenui: ...I work with a bunch of nerds.

Kanbaru: I dare you t-

I dare you t- Senjougahara: Araragi doesn’t do dares anymore

Araragi doesn’t do dares anymore Araragi: Apparently I have “no regard for my personal safety”.

Araragi: Hanekawa has a good heart. Oshino: Yes, I’ve noticed you staring at her good heart.

Araragi: Tonight, you deserve only the very best. Senjougahara: I know, but I still want to hang out with you.

Oikura: Looks like Araragi's got a severe case of butthurt! Somebody call the wha-mbulance.

Looks like Araragi's got a severe case of butthurt! Somebody call the wha-mbulance. Araragi: Nobody call the wha-mbulance!

Nobody call the wha-mbulance! Kanbaru: *on her phone* Hello, wha-mbulance? Araragi-senpai's butt is hurting.

*on her phone* Hello, wha-mbulance? Araragi-senpai's butt is hurting. Araragi: Kanbaru, hang up that phone!

Kanbaru, hang up that phone! Kanbaru: But Senpai, your butt!

Hanekawa: Why would you give Sengoku a knife!? Senjougahara: She said she felt unsafe! Hanekawa: Well now I feel unsafe! Senjougahara: Hanekawa: Senjougahara, reaching inside her pocket: Do you want a knife?