Noted Men’s Human Rights Activist Paul Elam reported, in a statement earlier this week, that “female gynocentrics” are smelly, lazy prostitutes who assault men with their cleavage and expect men to pick up the tab. Elam believes we live in a “gynocentric” culture, and seems to believe that most women and possibly most men are “gynocentric,” which means (if I remember this correctly) that they worship gynecologists.

I may not be remembering that correctly.

It is believed that Elam’s mention of the alleged smell of female gynocentrists is a reference to vaginal odor. A Voice for Men illustrated his statement with a photo of a “Taco 12 Pack” from Taco Bell. Vaginas are sometimes casually referred to as “tacos” because they traditionally contain a spicy meat or fish filling, as well as an assortment of other foodstuffs that can include cheese, onions, lettuce, tomato, cilantro and/or salsa. (I may not be remembering this correctly either.)

In his statement, titled “12 ways to spot a female gynocentrist (other than the smell in the room),” Elam explains that the gynocentric female, among other things,

insists on taking the softest, lowest paying job she can, uses that as the excuse for depending on men to finance her social life, and bitches endlessly that she is not being paid fairly. She talks to you while wearing a blouse cut so low you can see her navel, then leans over directly in front of you to indignantly point out where her eyes are. … She spends 45 minutes at dinner reminding you she does not need a man, then looks the other way when the check arrives … She expects you to lavish her with wining, dining and expensive gifts, just to spend time with her, then looks you in the eye and denies she is a prostitute. … When you put a stack of irrefutable evidence and logic in front her that everything forming her worldview is false, she falls silent, starts to tremble, then suddenly turns into Captain Queeg.

Gynocentrism, Elam explains, is funded by a mysterious source known as “Daddums” — much as Elam’s blogging career has been funded in part by “Long-suffering Girlfriendums” — and enabled by gynocentric males who “are standing there with their thumbs up their butts, allowing it to happen.”

Elam and his collegues at A Voice for Men are not thought to have anything blocking their butts, which serve as the source for most of their information about the world.

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