I didn’t really understand depression and that that is what I was feeling; straight after school I went to uni and focussed. It was all about focussing on the future. My parents are high achievers, and I had that pressure on me, and I really wanted to impress them.

It really got to me, and there were moments where all I wanted to do was stay in bed and not go to uni. I wanted to sleep all day, I had no motivation to do anything with my life.

Francesca Hung will discuss her mental health issues on radio today. Supplied

I remember, I never acted on any suicidal thoughts or really strong suicidal thoughts, it was more like self-sabotage; I would do things to, sort of, ruin my life so that no-one expected anything from me.

I was horrible with my family and horrible to be around. I lived out of home for a little bit and was dating and seeing the wrong sort of guys, and I wasn’t going to uni properly ... I started rebelling a little bit.

I was partying a bit too hard, and doing anything to distract myself; I was hanging out with the wrong people and wasn’t doing anything with my life.

One of the reasons why I slept so much (was) I was constantly exhausted, with this constant battle in my head, and the dialogue in my head.

I hated myself so much and I thought I was so worthless, and I would look at myself in the mirror and think "ugh you’re disgusting, what are you doing with yourself?"

I wanted to be perfect, but I was always berating myself and cursing myself, and I was constantly tired and exhausted. I would sleep all day to avoid the fight with myself. If I got up, I knew the conversation would start again and there would be days where I just didn’t want to face it.

Initially (my negative self-talk) was about my physical appearance; I thought I was unattractive and ugly to look at, and it stemmed from how I was always so conscious that I was half Chinese.

I think growing up, I always felt different from everyone else ... especially growing up around Mosman and Cremorne, there wasn’t that much diversity and I always felt like I was on the outside.

That was completely ingrained in me, and I was so self-conscious that when I would look in the mirror I would see this disgusting blob. I was overweight, and I would sabotage my eating so I would fit a certain look; I hated the way I looked.

All that negative commentary seeps into you. You’re not smart enough, not motivated or doing anything with my life ... you’re not popular, no-one likes you, you have no friends. That voice kept on creeping in.

I always felt like I was my own worst nightmare.

After a couple of years, I would try and just push it aside. I realised I needed help. I spoke to my family, and for them it seemed so ridiculous, they said I had everything, I looked beautiful and didn’t understand why I was feeling like this. They would say that I’m just having a bad day.

My dad comes from a medical background, so I think that the psychological side of things is a different world to the scientific world, to him. I think it was definitely difficult for them to comprehend that I was feeling this way ... and I never wanted to speak about it with my friends because I didn’t want it to look like a sign of weakness.

My parents would say, "Chin Up, you’ll get over it", (or) "You’re making your life harder for yourself, just be happy", so I’d walk away thinking, "Why can’t I just be happy"?

Eventually I took myself to the GP, and they said that I might be suffering from a bit of depression and anxiety, and as soon as they said that, I thought, okay I can see how that could be what’s happening.

The GP referred me to a psychologist and I saw them, and I think in a way I didn’t agree with what she was saying because it meant that she could see a flaw in me, so I stopped seeing her but then it just got worse and worse. I went back to a GP and saw a different psychologist, I did the same thing, I didn’t like what she was saying so I left again, and withdrew.

I saw another psychologist, and she had a different opinion about me, and said I had to learn to love myself, and, I took a few things away from that ... but then I left.

When I spoke to (my dad) about how I was feeling, he understood those feelings, and we formed this bond we have never really felt before.

Eventually, I tried medication, and I never told my parents about it; I was taking anti-depressants for about a year until they found out, and they were so mad at me.

So we had a massive struggle about them telling me to get off the medication, and me saying the medication makes me feel so much better, I’m not feeling down at all – but what I didn’t realise was the medication changed my moods in a way.

I went numb and I didn’t feel anything at all, and I was becoming a mean version of myself, and didn’t care about anybody else’s feelings, and I acted like I didn’t really care about the world and I was rebelling again.

Eventually, I met somebody, a nice boy who helped me feel good about myself again, and I started working on my diet and fitness. I started weaning myself off the antidepressants and that took quite a long time to feel good without them, and now I’m completely off them and I feel so much better than I ever had before.

I spoke more to my parents about things, and it was actually my dad that was the most understanding, because he had gone through his own mental health issues, but never really talked to my mum about it, or accepted it.

So when I spoke to him about how I was feeling, he understood those feelings, and we then formed this bond that we have never really felt before.

I think it grew from an understanding that a lot of people in his family have suffered from mental health issues, and I think it kind of clicked with him then, that if I was going through a similar thing, that a lot of it can be passed down – it’s not just a feeling, it can be a chemical thing sometimes as well.

Francesca Hung appears on the Real Talk podcast, with Mitch Wallis , founder of the Heart on My Sleeve Movement, out today. She will represent Australia at the Miss Universe event in Bangkok on December 17. If you or someone you know needs support with depression or anxiety call Beyond Blue 1300 224 636 or Lifeline on 13 11 14.