When I was growing up, I went through a phase of wearing my sister’s dresses at home, but there was never any fuss about it. Looking back, I think, wow, that was really quite modern of my parents. When I was four, my mum sent me off to school with the advice, “If anyone teases you or makes fun of you, don’t react.” She was so right, because bullies want a reaction. It meant that this weirdly effeminate little kid didn’t get bullied the whole way through school.

Growing up Protestant in the south of Ireland, I was kind of isolated. All the kids who lived around me didn’t go to the same school, so I spent a lot of time alone. Television was my friend, and not in a sad way. I loved TV. I preferred TV to people. As a result, I’m quite self-reliant. Even now, my perfect week involves lots of TV.

Because of my father’s job, we lived in 13 houses in 17 years. That means you have to be quite flexible in terms of fitting in when you go to a new school. You find ways not to be the kid who’s bullied, so I guess what I found was a weird combination of either being funny or blending into the background.

My parents were both funny. My mother has a sharp wit and, like me, can jump in with a quick judgment. My father could tell a good story, an Irish yarn. My sense of humour is closer to my mother’s.

Being gay, I had to leave Ireland to find myself. I couldn’t wait to get out. Some people didn’t leave. The ones who stayed and fought and chipped away with placards and petitions – they’re the heroes.

The most formative thing that ever happened to me was getting stabbed in 1989. It gave me real perspective on life and what mattered. Before that I was at drama school, caught up in the search for success. I went back to drama school and people were slamming doors because of the roles they got and I was like: “Uh, I nearly died. I’m just really happy to be alive.” Now if I get worried about something, I can put it into perspective.

My dogs, Bailey and Madge, bring me great joy and great sorrow. They’re a daily lesson in mindfulness because they live in the present. All they think is, “Am I thirsty? Am I horny? Am I tired?” But they’re about to bring deep sadness because they’re ancient. Bailey is 15 and I’ve discovered this year that Madge is actually older than him. It will be terrible when they go.

I love going home to Ireland now. I have a house in County Cork. When you’re a kid you want everything to be fast and shiny, but slow and dull has its own richness and that’s what Ireland kind of has, as well as community.

I always get excited about returning to the chat show. Each time there’s a slight sense of, “Ooh, can I still do this?” But then you see the people on the sofa and the 600 people in the audience all geed up and you think, “Actually, I don’t suck at this job. There’s a reason I’ve been doing it so long.” It’s good to remind yourself of that occasionally.

The Graham Norton Show is on BBC One at 10.35pm on Fridays