12/18/11 4:22AM

Airline websites don’t make any mention of undersized luggage. Only oversized. Unsatisfied, we endeavored to do the necessary legwork and set off on a research junket to the local airport. Upon arrival among throngs of holiday travelers we realized that airport workers might not deem our questions as adorable or, more importantly, as unthreatening as we perceive them.

So I called them. What I hoped would be conversational comedic gold instead was long waits followed by confusion.

“Sir, what is your reservation number?”

“I haven’t booked a flight yet. I need to know if I can check my shampoo. It’s important in deciding my flight.”

“Well what’s your destination? I’m sure they will have your shampoo there.”

“Their selection is unimportant. Can I or can I not check my shampoo?”

I never got a straight answer. As best as I can tell, it’s disallowed for fear of it breaking and making a mess. But I’m not certain. In the name of knowledge and comedy one of you should check this for me when you fly out or home for the holidays. And let us in on the fruits of your inquiry.

-Jesse