20 yo male. It's kinda the reason I do the drugs but then I can actually talk to people or be around them without feeling like I'm bothering the people for talking to them or that they are judging me. I havent been sober since 13 really and since probation (6months ago) I've had to stop and I just completely isolate myself. I don't know what to do, already seen a doctor Not doing that again. Like I won't say anything to anyone I don't know, funny cause that's no one. A simple trip to pic up a movie is a nightmare, I can't just snort up sum zanees blow an take a few shots cause of this damn probation so I can't be in a social situation, at least not successfully, I just freeze up, mind goes a million miles per hour, then I want to die. I cant even txt people it's that bad. What do I do? Why is this happening? I want nothing more then to be social, just share my time with people but I won't allow myself to I just sit here at home in my room all day, relapse, then isolate worst!

Extra funny story; so I went over to some friends house the other day and I had no drugs I had to remove myself cause it felt like the first time ever meeting them, I'd say nothing, just sit there maybe nod if they asked me something...wtf!