It was almost 15 years ago that I became pregnant, and instead of quietly getting it “taken care of”, I decided to keep the baby and challenge the social norms of my country of origin. Having a child from an unofficial urfi marriage, in a country like Egypt, meant a scandal for my family and I, as they have no official contract and are often kept secret.

Under Egyptian law, without an official marriage contract, only a man can register a child’s birth. As a result, tens of thousands of children are legally non-existent; they cannot be issued birth certificates, passports, receive vaccinations, register for school or even get married.

In Egypt, the standard three-step solution for any unmarried, upper class girl in my situation is an abortion, a hymen repair operation, then marriage to the first unwitting suitor the family can snare. Poorer women without access to these options can face death – killed by a male member of the family to end the “shame” and cleanse the family’s “honour”. For me, play-acting my way through the virgin-marriage pageant was not an option. Instead, I did the unthinkable and chose to keep my baby.

The father of my child refused to acknowledge his paternity, and I chose to take my case public, scandalising the nation. And while a small group of feminists and educated elites strongly supported my case, the vast majority of the country was against it.

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After losing, and appealing, the judge ruled in my favour, forcing the father to recognise both his relationship with me and his paternity of Leena, who was 19 months old. My case and my subsequent efforts to change the laws did, in fact, inspire thousands of Egyptian mothers to fight for the rights of their own children, and drove the Egyptian court to include DNA tests to paternity investigations.

I had hoped that this would lead to a real shift in what has always been a misogynistic and patriarchal society. In reality, little has changed. Egyptian tabloids, talk shows, newspapers and the general public remain vocally prejudiced against single mothers like me, looking down on us as “sinful”, and our children as “illegitimate”. Ultimately, laws proved to be easier to change than societies.

For a decade now, throughout my post-graduate studies, research and continuous activism, I’ve talked to hundreds of women, listened to their daily struggles, and realised that even though laws are gradually changing in favour of equality, women’s social, economic and political status has barely improved in most Arab countries.

Despite legal reform, Arab Muslim societies continue to treat women as second class citizens, as protectors of the “family’s honour”, as potential sources of disgrace rather than individuals who have rights.

In Saudi Arabia, women were only allowed to vote for the first time in 2015, yet only around 130,000 women registered to vote, compared to 1.35 million men. This year they were permitted to drive for the first time, but I would be surprised to see that become commonplace any time soon. Changing the law is all well and good, but when the oppression of women is so ingrained in the culture, it makes little real difference.

International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Show all 17 1 /17 International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Radical political activist Angela Davis speaks at a protest in Raleigh Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Poor pay, 14 hour days and dangerous working conditions led to a strike by around 1400 women and girls at a match factory in Bow, London, 1888. The action was later coined ‘The Matchgirls Strike’ International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Christabel Pankhurst, one of the founders of the Women's Social and Political Union (WSPU) and a leading member of the suffragette movement, addresses a crowd in Trafalgar Square in a speech in which she invites the crowd to ‘rush’ the House of Commons, 11 October 1908. Christabel Pankhurst and her mother Emmeline, alongside Flora Drummond, were arrested two days later charged with conduct likely to cause a breach of the peace. The rush on parliament went ahead without them however, with over 60,000 suffragettes attempting to break through the 5000 strong police cordon protecting parliament. Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Suffragette Emily Davison is hit and killed by King George V's horse Anmer during the 1913 Epsom Derby. She fell underneath the galloping horse after leaping from the crowd and trying to grab hold of the reins Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Striking women machinists from the Ford plant at Dagenham protest outside negotiations over their wages, 1968. The women went on strike over their lack of pay in relation to their male colleagues. The action helped to trigger the Equal Pay Act 1970 Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history The women's liberation movement march in Washington, August 1970 Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Protestors disrupt the 1970 Miss World competition. Original caption: ‘The Miss World contest causes a feminist storm as demonstrators invade the Royal Albert Hall where the contest was held. Protestors fired ink at spectators and let off stink bombs in scenes resembling a school assembly. The unruly ladies were eventually expelled from the hall by security guards and policemen’ Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Somalians demonstrating in Mogadishu for the release of Angela Davis, March 1972, a Black Panther activist imprisoned in the USA after being charged with first degree murder. Davis was later acquitted Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Jayaben Desai, one of the mostly British-Asian women out on strike at the Grunwick factory in 1977, pictured on the picket line Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Women protest against nuclear weapons outside of RAF base Greenham Common, 1982 Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Indian protestors hold candles during a rally in New Delhi in December 2012, after the death of a student who was gang raped on a bus in the Indian capital Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history A feminist group Sisters Uncut protesting against cuts to domestic violence refuges occupy the red carpet during a protest at the Suffragette premiere, 7 October 2015 Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history People gather for the Women’s March in Washington, January 2017 Reuters International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Protesters walk during the Women’s March on Washington, with the US Capitol in the background, in January, 2017. Donald Trump was sworn in as president the previous day Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Women march as part of the gender equality protest in London, March 2017 AFP/Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Demonstrators march through during the March4Women event, 4 March 2018, London Getty International Women’s Day: groundbreaking figures from history Placards are displayed during the March4Women, 4 March 2018, London Getty

In Saudi Arabia and most Arab Muslim countries a single woman in her thirties is considered a spinster, sexual harassment of a woman is still considered her fault, premarital sex is ok for young men, but a family’s dignity is lost upon a girl’s engagement in any sexual activity. A girl should cook, clean and do the laundry for her brothers, while they watch a football match; a man has the right to divorce a woman with one phrase, “you are divorced”, while women have no such right. The list goes on.

Islam and feminism have been in a constant clash since the turn of the century, and we can no longer ignore this fact. Somewhere between the liberal secular positions like mine, and the attempts by fundamentalists to silence us, it is often the voices of Muslim women themselves that are left unheard.

Much of this sexist mentality exists across different religions due to culture and tradition, but the growing confrontation with fundamental Islam over the application of sharia law is making it more difficult for Muslim women to demand reform.

With such a negative perception of women’s rights, no progress can be made. Calls for greater women’s rights will not achieve anything on their own. What is necessary is a change of attitude; a radical change of public thinking.

Women need to speak out. Only when we understand the need to speak out, fight for our rights, and stop accepting the status quo, will we see real change.

In the meantime, as long as we accept and allow traditionalism and fundamentalism to dictate our destinies, the situation will continue to worsen for women like me, no matter what the laws say.