There is a certain level of luck when it comes to passion. In a way, we really don’t have much say in what we are passionate about. Our passion chooses us — it morphs us, guides us, grounds us, and lifts us. And if we have the privilege of discovering an innate passion about something, it’s one of the greatest joys life can bring. For Shawn Carter, also known as Jay-Z, that passion is hip-hop. On “My 1st Song”, the emotional closer to The Black Album, Jay-Z pays ode to the art form that took him from Marcy Projects of New York to becoming one of the greatest rappers of all time.

The title is disarmingly bittersweet, as this was his last song on what was to be his retirement album, The Black Album. Despite the fact that Jay-Z’s retirement from hip-hop was very short-lived, “My 1st Song” is still a tear-jerker. The song remains a time capsule, one that captures the end of an era where Jay-Z was often debated as the best rapper alive. For eight years straight, Jay-Z dropped hip-hop gem after hip-hop gem. While not every album he released was perfect, no one had an album run like him that gained both commercial and critical attention year after year, including three classics — 1996’s Reasonable Doubt, 2001’s The Blueprint, and 2003’s The Black Album. “My 1st Song” is a coda to a spectacular creative output, one that makes it impossible not to want to go back and hear the entire discography that preceded it.

The track opens with a quote from the late great Notorious B.I.G., who was featured on Jay-Z’s debut album, 1996’s Reasonable Doubt.

“The key to this joint, the key to staying on top of things, is treat everything like it’s your first project, nomsayin’? Like it’s your first day, like back when you was an intern. Like, that’s how you try to treat things like, just stay hungry.”

This hunger comes to life immediately as the song jumpstarts into Jay-Z’s fiery flow, his words bursting with energy and emotion:

“Y’all wanna know why he don’t stop? / Y’all wanna know why he don’t flop? / Let me tell you pe-people why / Came from the bottom of the block / When I was born, it was sworn, I was never gon’ be s*** / Had to pull the opposite out this b**** / Had to get my ri-ide on…Had to voyage to a place of, to a place of no return / Had to play with fire and get burned / Only way the boy ever gon’ learn / Had to lay way in the cut, ’til I finally got my turn / Now I’m on top in the spot that I earned.”

In this verse alone, Jay-Z’s virtuosic mastery of the art form is on full blast as he moves back and forth between a slow staccato flow and a fast idiosyncratic flow with such ease. He utilizes multisyllabic and internal rhyme schemes, along with an effortless control of his own breath to draw the listener into his life story. The old blues and jazz influence, along with the quick and sporadic drum pattern, gives the song a timeless and triumphant quality. Jay-Z captures this triumphant backdrop in his lyrics, as he recounts reaching the top of rap game despite being discounted by society.

Just like Jay-Z had to overcome these barriers, it’s often when the odds are stacked against us when the fire builds in us to soar for the heights we have only dreamt about. However, to prevent our ambition from devolving into directionless angst, we need an internal foundation that acts as a compass for our aspirations.

That’s where our passion comes in.

“It’s my life, it’s my pain and my struggle / The songs that I sing to you is my everything / Treat my first like my last, and my last like my first / And my thirst is the same as when I came / It’s my joy and my tears / And the laughter it brings to me, it’s my everything”.

The hook showcases the saving grace of passion. For Jay-Z, it’s the songs he has been able to make and share to the world. Every word is rapped with a vigor that captures years of hustle, emotion, and celebration. For so many of us, art allows us to turn the abstract emotions we experience into something real. It can provide the light in dark times, a path out of a dangerous environment, and peace of mind in the midst of deteriorating mental health.

The hook callbacks the opening quote about treating every project like it’s your first. With his inversion of “first” and “last”, Jay-Z brilliantly captures two sides of the passion — the joy of discovering it and the fear of losing it.

The phrase “treat my first like my last” encapsulates the desperation of getting every emotion, sound, and flow out there like he’ll never get a chance to do this again. On the flip side, “treat my last like my first” paints the pure delight of laying every line down like he used to when he was just that young kid discovering hip-hop for the first time. With these words, Jay-Z illustrates beautifully why hip-hop is described by many as giving a “voice to the voiceless”. He uses this art form as a vessel to share his full range of emotions from pain to sorrow to fear to joy.

The same way Jay-Z reminisces how he “dropped flows to a demo / like its 92 again” in his second verse, hearing this song can act as a time machine for anyone. It can remind them of where they’ve been and how far they’ve come, the first time they found their passions, and how pure and joyous of an experience it was. As we get a brief glimpse back to this past, the fire of the passion spills over like its the very first time.

These are the passions that can never leave us. They are so fundamental to our personality that we can’t conceptualize an identity without it. Everytime I press play to this legendary closing track, it sparks a sudden remembrance of the blissful moments when I first discovered music. When I got my first iPod and my mom gave me permission to listen to The Beatles and Red Hot Chilli Peppers. When my friend showed me the breathtaking artwork of Kanye’s Graduation when we were in 6th grade playing video games. When my brother told me Jay-Z’s The Black Album was one of his favorites, and after hearing it once I needed no further explanation. When I spent every night of 10th grade listening to Kendrick’s Section.80, trying to decipher the philosophical and societal themes layered in every line. When I would go on long solitary walks in high school, realizing that Frank’s Channel Orange could act as a psychedelic and contemplative soundtrack to my never-ending musings.

It’s an art form that sustains me. It’s sustained me for as long as I can remember. And if I ever am foolish enough to forget that, I know a time capsule that can bring me right back.