It is pretty much standard, save the occasional dissenter, that girl on girl “bi” action is HOT! But that is truly old news. In most circles we’ve talked to, given the appropriate level of anonymity, well over half of women admitted that they find a certain moistening intrigue to the idea of guy on guy action. Most men will barely admit to themselves that there is a fantasy in there about that. But, they might be a little more motivated to explore it if they knew how much their mates and friends were turned on by it!

A few years back, there was a show after 11 at night on the WE network – way past the time of heavy viewership. One of the episodes was about a girl who spied on her hot neighbor who was gay and, of course, gorgeous. It showed by far the MOST erotic cinematic scene that I have ever witnessed . It was guy on guy! For years I fantasized about that and the subsequent scene where she basically “fucked” him with their clothes on (which was the second hottest scene.)

Recently, while talking with a friend who is the perfect, non lifestyle, unassuming FFA mom, we found ourselves in a discussion about this television series and specifically THAT episode. While reliving the plot, I am sure that both of us women had creamed ourselves by the time we finished with the subject. Our curiosity as a couple about all things sexual made more conversations with friends in and out of the lifestyle inevitable!

Those conversations have given us a theory. Though most have considered it at some point, many guys think the idea of sex with another man is something that is to be kept hidden in the dark recesses of their minds and revealed to no one. Ironically, those people a guy would want to keep it hidden from are the very same ones that we all hide our “lifestyle” from: family, friends, enemies, and professional associates. There are truly some guys, just as there are some women, whose persona will absolutely not even begin to let them consider the possibilities of pleasure from an encounter with the same sex. The differences between human beings are what provide our uniqueness as a species.

But for many men, the fear of even revealing a curiosity about getting freaky with someone having the same equipment keeps those fantasies contained to an occasional solo shower session. They let it play out in their mind while pleasuring themselves in a private world of desire. Cleanup can be immediate, and the culpability associated can be quickly tucked away. There are a few who venture out into the world to try it behind their mate’s back, even if they normally swing with their mate. They seem to hide their urges due to the overwhelming fear of their mate’s reaction and their own embarrassment linked to possible unintended public revelations. No matter the strength of a man’s ego, the potentially emasculating deterrents of religion, machismo, and society are extremely strong and play havoc on a man’s sense of reasoning in the debate of “to bi, or not to bi”.

The comfort level needed to accomplish the fantasy fulfillment can be a moving target with the pendulum of emotions considered by most men on this subject. Some days they think they are ready to make the leap, and other days they are looking for any form of plausible excuse to deny or delay. For those we’ve talked to who’ve tried it , the impetus for action often seems to be a female who was more than willing to encourage, compliment, coach, reassure, and of course engage in role play, direction, and/or practice! As with many things sex related, the story has played out time and again where the love of a woman and the sex life they have together becomes motivation to step out on a limb and get freaky with another man!

Some men needed the boost of being “dominated” in a group scene to let go and explore, and others dived right in – having the confidence of prediscussion and knowing their partner’s pussy was gushing the whole time the guys were feverishly sucking, fucking, and even sometimes sharing a load from one of their quivering cocks between their tongues. The sight of her man being pounded into ecstasy by a nicely shaped dick and the erotic slapping sound of large, low hanging balls, has sent many a woman over the orgasm edge. Often, the anticipation alone can get a girl really going.

We heard remarks like, “I absolutely gushed watching them” and, “That set the tone. It made me so hot I was a total slut all night.”, and “I had fantasized for years about watching him do it, seeing it was even better.” From the guys we heard things like,”Yeah, I tried it. Once I got past the fear it felt good. I’m sure I’ll probably do it again” and, “She took me places I was afraid to imagine by having me follow her orders of doing different things to his body. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt her pussy THAT wet!”, and “I had no idea another man’s hard, throbbing cock could get me off like that!” Most exploring men we talked to profess that bi sex wouldn’t supplant the female body as their main desire, but added a somewhat unexpected extra level to their sex life – especially with their partner. Some would kiss another guy, and some wouldn’t. Some would top, some would bottom, and some were up for absolutely anything! Most said that if anal sex were to take place, they prefer the receiver be already “washed out”. In our sampling, many said they would prefer a guy close to being in the same boat as them, experience-wise. Of course there were the few who said they had no experience and no plans of gaining it, but it was a surprisingly small minority that seemed to be absolutely opposed to anyone experiencing it.

Maybe its true swingers’ open mindedness about sex allows many of them to be more accepting of others’ socially taboo desires. Guy on guy bi action, while still being somewhat taboo, IS becoming a more accepted hot topic among the play crowd. There are plenty that either do it or at least fantasize about it, but few who readily admit it to just anyone. While discretion is obviously important to the majority of swingers, we feel the whole point of the “lifestyle” is fantasy pursuit. Most people we talked to agreed. Obviously, individual and joint comfort levels are important. But how do you truly know what that comfort level is without some communication and maybe a little exploring? In most relationships, as time moves on, comfort level increases, boundaries soften, and fantasies evolve.

We believe that couples should explore every corner of their sexuality to make that evolution a team sport. Reveal your inner most fantasies to one another. If your partner is good with it, that should be the only opinion that matters to you. Maybe you both spend a lifetime knowing the freedom and security of complete sexual honesty with one another, whether you physically explore or not. Maybe you both decide it’s not your thing. If it’s not part of one or both of your fantasies, then why do it? There are a million different other kinky avenues to explore in this lifestyle. But if it is, our interactions with others say that there are many more males AND females than one might think who roll it around in their minds desirously. You’re not alone! So go ahead, touch yourself a little while thinking about it. Chances are you’re being joined by thousands of men, and women, at the same time! But that subject is a whole other story.