So I followed these words of wisdom and lived my life caring for others, and it did not take long for me to realize I was miserable. Granted I do everything full steam, so this was no different. I put myself dead last, after all, if I were going to be happier this way I would do it to the best of my ability. This did not go well for me. I was attracting people that needed to be saved, but instead of saving themselves they turned to me. I happily did my best to help them; however, I could.

Maybe you can relate to my story. Perhaps you were a saver too? I knew everyone put me last, but I didn’t realize they were following my lead. It wasn’t rocket science or anything I just assumed others would put themselves last like I was and we would both care for each other. The thing is that it was not who I was attracting. I was attracting problems, and I wanted to solve them.

So lets fast forward a bit to when I realized the error of my ways. I was 25 looking at my life thus far and feeling like a complete failure on all fronts. I felt this way because it was true. Everything I set out to do ended up in shambles. I was a sweet and hardworking young girl, so people just kept telling me I had terrible luck. Some people tried to encourage me by saying I only hadn’t met the right man yet.

The truth was staring me dead in the eyes, but I didn’t dare to look back at it. You see I had started purging my mind onto paper. I was dumping all my thoughts out so I could see them for myself. Why was I doing this? Well, I had picked up a little book authored by a wonderful man by the name of Wayne Dyer, and I couldn’t put it down. “You are creating your reality,” that’s what he said. I had a hard time wrapping my head around this. Why on earth would I be choosing this mess of a life for myself? “That can’t be true,” I thought.

So this concept was eating away at me a bit, and I couldn’t quite shake thinking about it. If it is true, then I need to see what I am believing, thinking and thus creating. I want to see it all! Remember I don’t usually do anything half-assed, so jumped in and wanted to see everything I could about what I was believing. So here I was reading my thoughts on paper, shocked at what I was reading. So how could I be shocked at reading it when I was thinking it all the time. It was right there in my mind to see it, but I did not see it. Only I was in a way, part of me knew I had been treating myself this way. I believed I was garbage and I was getting treated like garbage, shocking right?

From that moment forward it all started to make more sense. This was the birth of my self-love journey 15 years ago. It makes me cry a bit thinking about that scared young 25 year old trying to change everything she had learned. Now as I sit here at 40, I smile back at her, and I thank her every day for taking a chance on the one person who could change her life for the better, herself.

In the video above I cover 5 reasons why self love is not self seeking but it is self care!

Have you started your self love journey? Yes or No? Comment below and share!