(My wife is flying to Rome on business, and hasn’t been feeling great. She takes medicine to clear her sinuses before her flight.)

Wife: “Man, the real Sudafed has made me slightly jittery. It has, however, cleared my head RIGHT OUT. So I’m grateful.”

Me: “Good, especially right before a flight. I hope the Sudafed will make it through customs.”

Wife: “Oh, it’s fine. It’s perfectly legal and over-the-counter in Europe.”

Me: “Ah, yes, they don’t make crystal meth.”

Wife: “I think meth is a particularly American drug.”

Me: “So now we have jazz and meth as purely American things!”

Wife: “America #1!”