Having accepted the offer to join Chizuru's friends in the book drive, Kazuya is invited to dinner that night to discuss their plans, but Chizuru isn't fully on board with this, and her friend Yoko Shinbo is suspicious of Chizuru's behavior toward Kazuya.

Chapter Text

Mizuhara’s friends planned to meet at a family restaurant later that day, after classes were over. There, we’d discuss how I could help with the book drive. I told them I’d do what I could. I didn’t have a shift at work that day, but I would the next night, so the amount of help I could offer was limited. Kawanaka and Shinbo understood.

I said goodbye to them, and I thought everything was settled. I had two classes in the afternoon, so I just had to get through those and do some homework before seeing the girls, or at least, that’s what I thought. Instead, as Mizuhara’s friends were about to get some food, Mizuhara got up and left, saying she had to see a professor with a few questions about an essay topic. She couldn’t have left faster. I knew I must’ve pissed her off.

I thought I’d send Mizuhara a message over LINE and apologize for getting involved, but on my way to class, she ambushed me. Her excuse about seeing a professor was all a ruse. “What do you think you’re doing?” she said, falling into step beside me. “The two of us hanging out is dangerous.”

I knew it was dangerous. That’s why I almost said no, but her friends asked for help, and that was one thing I could do in this situation. I would’ve been even more of an asshole if I’d turned them down.

Mizuhara felt I wasn’t needed, and her friends were just dumping responsibility on me. The three of them were perfectly capable of dealing with the book drive, so I’d just inserted myself into the situation for nothing, and all it would do was let the three of them slack off a bit.

“If that’s all it accomplishes,” I said, “then it’s worth it. Don’t you have enough to deal with already? You should slack off a little bit and let other people handle some things, if it means you can put 100% into everything else.”

Mizuhara seemed to think about that. She looked ahead for a time, quietly, before answering. “You really are stubborn sometimes,” she said.

“Like you aren’t,” I said. “You know, we were having a nice conversation back there, but you weren’t going to tell me about the book drive, were you?”

“It was between me and my friends. It didn’t need to concern you.”

“Of course it didn’t need to concern me,” I said, “but I thought…” I looked aside. This was really going to sound pathetic. “I wanted to think you would tell me something like that.”

Mizuhara looked at me, and she seemed a little small. Her eyes were fixed on me, even as she stayed quiet, and I thought she held her books a little tighter to her chest. “I knew you would try to get involved,” she said. “That’s why I avoided talking about it. I didn’t want to make you feel like you had to get further entangled in my life.”

“That doesn’t bother me,” I said.

“I know.” We reached the entrance to the building where I had my next class, but Mizuhara hesitated, not wanting to go inside. Instead, she stopped at the threshold. “I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s not that I don’t trust you.”

I wasn’t quite sure what she meant. “Mizuhara?”

Her eyes snapped back up to meet mine, and she steadied herself. “But listen,” she said, “on campus, and around my friends, Kazuya Kinoshita and Chizuru Ichinose are just distant acquaintances. When we meet for dinner tonight, you can act like that, right?”

Of course I could. I’d already handled that balancing act at the drinking party. How hard could it be?

When I arrived at the restaurant that afternoon, there was tension in the air. Mizuhara, Shinbo, and Kawanaka already had a table for four, but they’d left Mizuhara alone on one side, with Kawanaka and Shinbo on the other. Mizuhara was still sitting in the middle of her side, and I had to ask if I could sit down. She did move… reluctantly, and Shinbo started cracking up. “Don’t be like that, Chizuru!” she said. “Kinoshita is doing us a favor, right? Can’t you be more welcoming?”

Mizuhara shot Shinbo a nasty look, but she bit her tongue and invited me to sit down. “Thank you for coming,” she said politely. It sounded polite, but there was just a hint of ice in her words. If I made one wrong move, she’d shank me and leave me bleeding on the street!

Once I sat down and we ordered drinks, Shinbo laid out her plans. Of the three of them, she was the one mostly in charge so far, so she had the best idea of what was involved. The four of us were all volunteers on behalf of the library system to publicize the book drive, to operate satellite donation centers, and to help organize the donated books back at a local branch.

Shinbo had great ideas for what needed to be done, but there was no follow-through. She’d been talking to printers to make flyers, but no one had committed to making them, they didn’t have a design, and she wasn’t even sure how much money the library would allow them to spend. She and Kawanaka had approached the school Cultural Association to try to put out an information table, but they’d been rejected, and they didn’t know what to do about it. As far as social media was concerned, Shinbo had started a Twitter account, but they had no followers and no idea how to get some in a hurry. “Look,” said Shinbo sheepishly, “I just talk to my friends on Twitter. I’m not an influencer or anything like that. I don’t think any of us is that way, so what can we do?”

They would fail!

That’s what I thought, and it must’ve been all over my face. Kawanaka asked if it was that bad, and Mizuhara seemed shocked at how far behind the campaign was. “I’ve been so busy with Grandma I didn’t realize we were in this much trouble,” she admitted. I just stared at the list of things Shinbo had to do in horror. We had a couple days. How the hell did they expect to get all of it done?

This was a tight situation, and I tried to fall back on experiences at the shop while growing up. Sometimes we’d hit rough patches, with people quitting unexpectedly or calling in sick or a lot of seasonal demand. When everything is in chaos, the only thing you can do is try to break things down into small, manageable tasks. “Even if you have a hundred things to do, if they’re clear and focused, you can do them one at a time and catch up,” Dad used to say. “If you try to cut that into ten big chunks, your direction is unclear, and you might not get any of it done.”

With Dad’s advice in mind, I started carving out small tasks for us to do. “I think what we need to do,” I told the girls, “is divide this up so each of us can tackle something and get it done. On the flyers, it sounds like we need a design. Does anyone know a graphic artist?”

“I might know somebody,” said Kawanaka. “A friend of a friend.”

“If Yuuki puts me in touch with them, I can probably lean on the organizers to get me the cash and print something up,” said Shinbo.

“Great,” I said. “Next thing is social media.”

“I know someone who can help spread the word,” said Mizuhara.

I never thought Mizuhara would be that into social media. “You do?”

“Yes, I do.” She glared. “What, do you want their LINE ID? I didn’t think you were like that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

Across the table, Kawakana didn’t seem to know what to say while Shinbo looked on with a serious, intense expression.

Mizuhara clarified things a bit. While she could put her friend in touch with us, she wasn’t sure she had the time to manage a social media account 24/7. Kawanaka volunteered to handle that, so Mizuhara’s friend would be put in touch with her.

That still left a lot for us to do. I volunteered to handle some more of the logistics: the permit from the Cultural Association, as well as buying some boxes to cart books around from our stand to the library. I thought Mizuhara, not having a lot of time, could be best used to reach out to other student organizations. Once we had a few flyers, she could show up to personally invite them to contribute to the book drive.

“Wait a minute,” said Shinbo, trying to politely tell me I was an idiot. “You’re going to send her out to talk to clubs about the book drive? No offense, Chizuru, but you can be really forceful sometimes. That might not be the best approach here.”

Mizuhara didn’t seem to enjoy the idea, either, but I disagreed. “I don’t think that’s completely true,” I said. “I think Ichinose is more than capable of convincing people to help with a softer, gentler approach.”

Mizuhara looked at me strangely for a moment before she understood. “He’s right,” she said confidently. “I can handle it. I have only one objection: you want me to convince people to participate in the book drive, but you haven’t asked me to do help with the most important part of that—the Cultural Association. We need that permit to put up a booth and collect books on campus. You were going to try to talk to them all by yourself? No way. I think that should be our first priority.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?” I asked. “I know you’re busy; talking to clubs is enough—”

“I’m sure,” she said flatly. “You have enough to deal with tracking down enough boxes and with the cataloguing. Don’t think you can come in here and take up the lion’s share of responsibilities for yourself.”

Kawanaka laughed. “Chizuru, I think Kazuya is just trying to help. I’m sure his heart is in the right place.”

“Of course.” Mizuhara collected herself, and she adjusted the straw for her drink. “I didn’t mean to say otherwise.”

We continued to work out the details over dinner, and though at first I had no idea how we would get everything done, the girls calmed me down. They wanted to get things done, and it was fun talking to them. Even though I was the only guy at the table, they didn’t treat me like an outsider, I could get used to hanging out with them. Kawanaka was pretty cute, giving off a friendly vibe. Shinbo was casual and easygoing. And of course, Mizuhara was Mizuhara. I wondered what kind of relationship the three of them had. Were they that friendly? No, no, that was a pipe dream.

As things were wrapping up, Kawanaka stepped away to use the bathroom, and Mizuhara went to join her, but something unexpected happened. They asked Shinbo if she wanted to go with them, but she declined. “I’ll keep an eye on our stuff,” she said.

“Oh, I’m sure Kazuya can do that,” said Kawanaka.

“It’s a lot to look after,” said Shinbo. “You two go on ahead.”

Mizuhara tensed up. “Yoko, you can go. I’ll stay behind.”

“That’s okay.” Shinbo waved her away. “You already got up. You need to go. I’m good.”

Mizuhara shot me a look, but there was nothing more she could do. I would be alone to fend for myself against Shinbo.

I was already in trouble. As soon as Mizuhara and Kawanaka went out of sight, I caught Shinbo looking at me like a doctor peering through a microscope.

“What?” I said, feeling antsy.

“I’ve been talking to our mutual friends about you,” she said, and I realized I’d read her wrong. She wasn’t a doctor looking through a microscope; she was a detective hounding a suspect. “Sasapai said we should be careful around you. Seems like you’ve become something of a player recently.”

I put up my hands. “What? Who, me? No way!” Okay, maybe I was technically dating Ruka, but that was coerced! My one true love was Mizuhara! Did she hear about how I was trying to get back with Mami? That was before—months ago!

“Relax,” she said, laughing softly. “I can see you’re not that kind of guy. Okay, I did see you check out Yuuki’s ass just now, but you’re way too timid to be a real player.”

I didn’t know whether I should agree with that or not. Either way, I was too red in the face to say anything.

“But Chizuru has taken a liking to you, for some reason.” Shinbo frowned. “I can’t quite figure out why.”

“A liking? To me? Impossible! Ichinose doesn’t seem to like much of anybody!” She had to believe me! I was flailing around like a dying fish. What more could I do to convince her?

“I know,” said Shinbo, who leaned forward with her chin on her hand, pensive. “Around strangers she tends to keep to herself. She doesn’t usually show her prickly side unless she’s comfortable. That’s part of why I think she’s into you. If you knew her the way I do, you’d see all the little signs. She is constantly aware of you, and she made sure you wouldn’t do too much for the campaign.”

Shinbo had to be mistaken. Mizuhara was just aware of me because she was afraid I would say something wrong or expose her. That’s all it was.

“I wanted to talk to you about it,” Shinbo went on. “I need to make sure you’re not going to break Chizuru’s heart.”

I blinked. “Uh, what?”

The way Shinbo saw it, “Ichinose” didn’t have much experience with guys, and since Shinbo thought I had a hot girlfriend, “Ichinose” falling in love with me could only cause her heartbreak. “I know how she is,” said Shinbo. “She’s exactly the type to fall head-over-heels for a guy and not know what to do, how to show it, or to be smart enough to let it go. You see her, don’t you? She doesn’t try to make herself pretty or flirt. She’s the type who pines and mopes in private but would never show it in person. You might be the first guy she ever thought of that way.”

If only she knew the Mizuhara who could be an absolute knockout, the perfect girlfriend…. If only she knew how many hands Mizuhara had held or how we held each other in the photo booth at TDC…!

“I think you should talk to her,” said Shinbo.

There was no way.

“And let her down gently.” Shinbo glanced at the bathrooms, but the girls hadn’t come out yet. “She’s a great friend. Real stick up her ass, but she’s a great friend. When you get her talking about something she likes, there’s something about her, you know?”

“She lights up a room,” I said.

Shinbo tilted her head, and my eyes went wide in horror, but she didn’t seem to catch on. “Exactly,” she said. “And you know, she fights for you. A TA was giving me a hard time about something in one class, and I was going to let it go, but Chizuru went with me and straightened it out—really threw the book at him. It was great.” Shinbo folded her arms and leaned forward, lowering her voice. “She’s a great friend, and I think if she got over how standoffish she is, she’d be a great girlfriend, too. That’s what I want you to say… when you tell her you just want to be friends. Not the standoffish part, but the rest of it. You get me?”

“I—I got it,” I said. What else could I even say?

“Great,” she said with a smile. “You know, if you weren’t taken already, I wouldn’t mind if you were her boyfriend.”

I could only wish for that.

Once the girls came back from the bathroom, we paid our checks and went home for the night. Shinbo and Kawanaka went one direction. Mizuhara and I, of course, went a different way together. Kawanaka said something about that being a strange coincidence, but Shinbo shushed her, saying we should both be safe.

Of course, Mizuhara’s first question was what Shinbo and I talked about. I told her the truth; Shinbo had misunderstood, thinking “Ichinose” had a crush on me, and she’d instructed me to let her down gently. “It’s ridiculous, isn’t it?” I said, laughing.

Mizuhara didn’t think it was very funny. “I acted too comfortable with you,” she admitted. “I’ll need to do a better job next time. For now, you can tell Yoko that we had a conversation, and I insisted that you and Yoko got the wrong idea. I just felt bad about roping you into this. That’s all. She’ll believe I said that, even if she thinks I just meant it to save face.”

All of this was so stressful. It really would’ve been better if we had a better cover story. Maybe we should admit we were neighbors? We could pass it off as a funny coincidence, and that would explain us being more familiar. Mizuhara thought about that and said she would consider it… only if we were backed into a corner.

“It’s better to ask forgiveness than come clean first,” she said. “Coming clean tells people you think you did something wrong. I don’t think we have. We’ve just tried to keep some things private.”

“You keep a lot of things private,” I observed.

Mizuhara looked at me strangely, and as we walked together down the dark sidewalk, the lights above us cast multiple shadows, all moving rapidly as we passed underneath the poles.

“I do,” she said at last. “It keeps things simpler that way.” She shrugged. “It does have some downsides. At school I try to be serious and not to get involved in too much. At work, I’m a dream girl. Even with Grandma, I try to keep her from worrying. Whenever you deal with people, there’s a face you have to put on.”

“Do you ever get to be yourself?” I asked her. “Aside from when you’re home alone.”

“When I’m with you,” she said, watching me with steady eyes. “That’s what you asked me to do, isn’t it?”

The more I thought about that, the more I didn’t believe her. I didn’t think Mizuhara was lying to me, but she was always a little bit on her guard. Even her friends thought so. Shinbo couldn’t understand her. And even if Mizuhara was 90% herself in front of me, there was still that 10% that I knew she wouldn’t show: the parts her grandma had told me about, the Mizuhara who cries in frustration or despair. I’d seen only a glimpse of it when she got the call that her grandma had collapsed. She’d been frantic, anxious, and scared. I understood why she might not trust other people with those feelings of hers, but it bothered me all the same.

Even if I couldn’t do anything else for her, I wanted her to know she could trust me—that if she was worried or in pain, she could rely on me. If she could do that even 1% more than she could before, then all of this would be worth it.