Amidst our most recent study in Acts, we found ourselves in a crucial transition as a significant conversation was about to unfold.

Cornelius, a Gentile, had sent men to find Peter after receiving a vision from God. He barely had any details, just a command. The command was simple: send for Peter, and he will tell you what to do. The men swiftly find Peter and bring him back to Caesarea where Cornelius now eagerly awaited. He earnestly shares his story with Peter: the vision, the confirmation of answered prayer, the immediacy and urgency that followed. “...Now therefore are we all here present before God, to hear all things that are commanded thee of God” (Acts 10:33).

Brandon, our college and young adult pastor, helped bring light to the reality of this moment. He explained to us that, “These Grecians are waiting with bated breath to hear what Peter has to tell them. There’s probably a great tension in the room. They’re probably getting ready to play out all the different things he (Peter) could say. What if he asks us to ___? What if he tells us ___?” Based on what Brandon shared with us, we saw that they had no idea what was about to happen. Yet, their hearts and minds were fixed. They were expectant. They had resolved long ago that the cost would be worth it, and there they stood, ready to do whatever was next.

Upon reflecting on some old journals, (not my favorite pastime, I assure you) I discovered a common theme that would linger from page to page, a longing that existed from prayer to desperate prayer. “God, I’m confused about what following you is supposed to look like right now,” or “Jesus, I don’t understand,” or, “I can’t wait for this season to pass,” and the fearful, “What are you going to do?”

In a very loving, yet painful way, the Lord revealed that I wrestle with a similar tension that the Grecians experienced all those years ago. I seek to hear God’s Word, but what happens if I don’t like what He has to say? Will I have ears to hear it? Will I be willing to move forward in faith, or is my fear going to hinder the next steps that follow? Through this passage, God began to uproot some hidden tendencies that possessed the risk of choking out the power of His truth in my life.