A red envelope stamped with the image of Ray Charles arrived in my mailbox today.

Inside: a card. A glitter stricken painting of Santa Claus arranging presents 'neath a tree adorns the front cover. "Christmas Wishes" it proclaims, with cursive dropped capitals abutting a sharply serif'd print.

Inside, small signs of spreading glitter infection. In print letters on the inside cover, a green-inked, spritely hand informs me that this card is, "From: schneideldieu".

On the facing page, the words, "May Santa bring you everything you're wishing for!" are printed, nestled below two blobby gift boxes rendered in a range of gray values between 20% and 30%.

Below the printed greeting: "Merry Christmas" is drawn large and joyful with a practiced longhand. Parenthetically, at half that size, he or she writes, "(or Sagan-mas, Your Choice :) )".

I approve.

The back cover is the actual color image from which the inside gray-scale stack-'o-boxes is taken. Further inspection shows that they are identical to two boxes in the painting on the cover (although they lack the heavy application of glitter that obscures the gifts on the cover). Underneath, credit is given for the painting to "Mike Donnelly" beneath the cryptic letters "LR", both typed sans serif.

Bottom center of the back cover is the publisher's trademark and the stock number & copyright information, all typed in progressively smaller print.

There. Thoroughly described. Now I don't have to get off the couch, get my phone, take a picture, and upload it.

EDIT: Damn. Now you are tempting me with an AWARD for going through the hassle of leaving my couch, huh? You win, Reddit. YOU WIN. But now you will have to answer to my cat, who is not pleased with losing my lap.