Former NY Sen. Ted O'Brien fights for his life in hospital after coronavirus diagnosis

On Friday evening, as Ted O'Brien lay in the hospital fighting for his life, his wife decided that the very pain her family is suffering could help others.

During the past week, Sue O'Brien has written on Facebook of the health progress and setbacks of her husband, Ted, a former state senator stricken with COVID-19. On Friday evening, she agreed to allow those posts to be used here publicly.

"Go ahead," she wrote in a message. "This is about saving lives."

Her daily postings likely echo the quiet and unspoken sentiments of many families, who have watched their loved ones fall prey to the swelling pandemic. They speak of sudden turns for the worse, of glimpses that health is improving, of medications that might or might not help, of the stings of isolation as they too are quarantined and their ability to connect with their spouse or sibling or partner or parent is limited.

"I have learned that it can't be determined whether Ted will survive, and what I have realized and accepted, is that Ted's life gift is teaching the doctors how to treat this disease in its most serious forms," she wrote in the late afternoon Friday. "He has always been a generous man, to me, his kids, his family and friends, and regardless of how this turns out, his generosity is now helping humanity.

"... So, this is the reality, folks. It's a disease that claims lives indiscriminately, and sometimes way quicker than Ted. We still have him. Other families, here in Rochester and all over the world, have lost someone way too soon and suddenly. We owe it to humanity to do our part."

The health decline of O'Brien, who is in charge of the Rochester branch of the Attorney General's Office, came quickly and surprisingly. On March 20, he was at his home in Irondequoit, in home quarantine, having tested positive for COVID-19.

In a telephone interview that day, O’Brien told the Democrat and Chronicle that he had not had some of the more-common symptoms, such as a fever and cough. He was unsure where he contracted the disease.

“For me, I think the lesson is we really don’t know much about COVID-19,” O’Brien said then. “… We’re still figuring out how COVID-19 presents and it can do it in a lot of different ways.”

Within four days of that interview, O’Brien, 63, was in the intensive care unit at Rochester General Hospital. And from there, as the Facebook postings of Sue O'Brien show, his health has been a roller coaster ride. She also has tested positive for COVID-19.

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Earlier this week, she wrote: “Ted is battling alone. He has required additional intervention and oxygen support. Because the staff is so busy, the family can only call twice a day for updates, and obviously we cannot go by to see him.”

On Thursday, Sue O’Brien, a physical therapist, wrote that there was a bit of normalcy in their lives when three families came to talk with the family at their home. (The couple has two daughters.) There was Starbucks, and a dinner dropped off by a friend.

“But, my main message today is this: The hardest thing about COVID-19 is the barrier to families in hospitals,” she wrote. “It has been weighing heavily on me, because as many of you know, I have worked in hospitals, including ICUs, and if I could, I would be living there. I have not spoken to Ted since Monday.

“I have wanted a virtual visit, and hope to get one tomorrow, which has raised my spirits immensely. If there is one thing needed in Rochester, it’s a way to get families into hospitals virtually!”

During the week, Sue O'Brien has written of the strains on medical and health care workers, and their selflessness. In one post, she wrote: "What I have learned: Things are changing daily and our healthcare teams are doing their best to care for our family members under much more uncertainty than healthcare usually brings."

On Friday, in a posting early in the day, Sue O’Brien wrote that “Ted continues to hang on and he was given a new drug today (used normally for rheumatoid arthritis) to help stem the tide of all of the inflammation from COVID pneumonia, tocilizumab.

“They are trying to give him another chance to turn the corner. … My requests for access to see him virtually have been heard and we have a Zoom meeting tomorrow, where we will be able to see and talk to him.”

But, hours later, there was doubt, and fear — yet a strong belief that, whatever happens to Ted O'Brien (and the hundreds of comments on Sue O'Brien's Facebook postings show the community affection for him), there are lessons that can be learned from his struggles with COVID-19.

From her Irondequoit home, unable to be at the side of her husband — who is on a ventilator — and unsure what the next day will bring, or the days after that, Sue O'Brien wrote these words:

"Stay home. ... social distancing. ... save a life, listen to science. Listen to reason. Listen to me. Stop the spread. Only by taking these actions can you do your part.

"It's for all of us."

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Contact Gary Craig at gcraig@gannett.com or at 585-258-2479. Follow him on Twitter at gcraig1. This coverage is only possible with support from readers. Sign up today for a digital subscription.