Comics have historically been a fairly liberal art form. As much as I love human rights and equality… it doesn’t sell. It is about time comic companies realize what the fans really want… racism and ignorance, baby!

Comics have always been politically leftist. Sure, the industry had it’s fair share of horribly damaging stereotypes, but hey, it has also made efforts to fight for tolerance and civil rights… especially when it is convenient. When Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster first created Superman, he was the hero for oppressed, the poor, and the everyday men and women. Silver Surfer is a freakin’ environmentalist hippy. The X-Men are essentially a cross between the Black Panthers and the NAACP. They are a bunch of freedom fighters battling for human rights.

Comics continue to fight for human rights… very slowly, especially when it comes to adding diversity to the comic universe. In order not to seem too preachy, comics make incredibly half @$$ed attempts to diversify their medium.

For instance:

– Last year’s big gay wedding in X-Men was held in a secondary X-title featuring a minor and rarely used character.

– Last year, DC announced that one of their main characters was going to come out the closet. Green Lantern was established as gay- not the main Green Lantern, an alternative reality Green Lantern.

– A few weeks ago, Marvel announced an Avengers team made up of predominantly minority members. This came 20 damn years after the late, great, Dwayne McDuffie established Milestone Comics. Milestone was created to help represent the actual demographics in America, featuring a much more diverse cast of characters. Now that Marvel is putting a minimal amount of effort into diversifying their universe, some folk act like they have just ended comic racism. C’mon y’all, the lack of diversity has been prevalent for so damn long, you don’t get a cookie for finally showing a little color now.

Each of these half @$$ed attempts to correctly represent the demographics and issues minorities face, have been attacked by many fans as being an “unforgivable assault by the forces of political correctness (quoted from UTF’s own Kevin)”!

Since human rights and equality clearly do not sell, my advice to Marvel and DC is to do some real IGNORANT CRAP!

For real for real, learn from Paula Deen! Since she admitted to her incredible ignorance and racism, her new book “Paula Deen’s New Testament: 250 Favorite Recipes, All Lightened Up” has skyrocketed to No. 1 on Amazon’s best-seller’s list and No. 7 on the Barnes & Noble Top 100! Racial prejudice sells like hotcakes in this country!

Paula Deen may have lost her sponsors, but she has millions and millions of hidden racists to support her. So screw having black characters in the Avengers, the Avengers was created white and should stay white! Who needs LGBT characters? NO ONE! Gayness is a disease that needs to be cured. You want a girl Doctor Who, screw that, why must females try and impose their rights on our inherited male supremacy! Negro Spider-Man, just say no! I want it like the old days- Good ol’ white Christians fighting evil Asian stereotypes and negro savages!



In fact, in order to increase hits on this article, I will now use every Jewish racial slur I can think of: Kyke, Jewbag, JAP, Heeb… If you hate that last sentence, you are a politically correct homosexual who hates our constitutional right to the freedom of speech. If you do not hit the like button on this article it is because you hate white Spider-Man and are oppressing the predominantly white male comic buying audience.

(Obviously, this ridiculous article has been a satire. For those not well versed in it, there has been a large amount of of sarcasm used throughout. I feel pretty silly having to explain this. Anyhoooo, please hit the like button at the top… or you hate babies!)

Today’s Contrarian Fanboy was written by guest writer (to this column)- fellow UTF superstar Jay Deitcher! Check out his credentials below, follow him on Twitter ( @ mrdeitcher) and check out his website (Jay is still writing this- He loves talking in third person)!

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