THE UK will celebrate independence from the EU by repealing all European laws and replacing them with unchanged, but British, ones.

The Great Repeal Bill, introduced to parliament yesterday, will strike every single one of the EU’s hated and nonsensical laws from the statute book and replace them with good old common sense traditional functionally identical home-grown legislation.

David Davis said: “From now on no unelected Eurocrats will tell us how powerful our hoovers can be or what we can feed our pigs on.

“Instead solid British laws, made right here in the home of Shakespeare, will govern our lives fairly and squarely, and by being exactly the same as the laws they replace will also allow us to trade in Europe.

“This bill, which will update in parallel with all future EU legislation, promises a brave future of independence for Britain as long as we continue to meet all continental standards with regard to sale of goods and services.”

He added: “We’ve got rid of all the human rights laws, though. They were just holding you back.”