Iâ€™ve been doing activism work in the church for at least 15 years now. Working at the intersection of theology, Christianity, and queer/trans issues. And here is the number one thing I have learned in all of that time: You have to stop playing by the hatersâ€™ rules.

Hereâ€™s what I mean:

I see you scrambling over and over and over again to make your life fit into their boxes. You try not to be too queer. You try to be monogamous (even if thatÂ doesnâ€™t work for you). You try to be less sexual. YouÂ â€œsave yourselfâ€ for marriage (a marriage that they donâ€™t even recognize, btw). You argue their theological points.

Everything you do is set up as a reaction to them. And I get it! They are strong. They speak boldly. They have power over you politically in some places.

ButÂ hereâ€™s the thing: Their theology is trash. From stem to stern. The way they read the bible is NOT GOOD. Itâ€™s not how scholars read it. Itâ€™s not how a MASSIVE PORTION of faithful Christians read it. You are playing by rules that THEY INVENTED and that do not serve you or your community.

So stop it.

Why would you argue with someone who doesnâ€™t even read correctly in the first place? Why would you try to fit into boxes that someone else just made up?

Not to mention that even if you DO contort yourself to fit in their boxes theyâ€™ll just make new ones. Or say you arenâ€™t doing it right. Because honestly nothing other than heterosexual marriage that looks exactly like they want it to and follows all of their invented rules and people who read Scripture just like them will be allowed in.

So this idea that some day youâ€™re gonna find the perfect argument is just ridiculous. You can hit a moving target. They donâ€™t care about you. They donâ€™t want you to be in.

Why do I say all of this? Because we are killing ourselves (sometimes literally) to fit into a system that was made up. Because we could be spending our time on other things. Because we shouldnâ€™t even want to be in their churches or hold to their theology because itâ€™s trash!

Get free my friends! Dig into the liberative readings of Scripture that have existed since the beginning of time. Live the beautiful, messy, queer/trans life you want to live. Have sex if you want to. Build up your queer/trans community and stop wasting time playing by rules you donâ€™t want in a game you canâ€™t win.

Why should they set the parameters on the conversation? Letâ€™s make them play by our rules for a while. Let them defend why their trash theology that didnâ€™t even exist 200 years ago is supposedly handed down from Jesus. (Seriously, get them to explain the Raptureâ€¦) Let them twist themselves into circles condemning liberation theology. Weâ€™ve played by their rules for too long. No more. Itâ€™s time to get free.

(Need some tips? check out QueerTheology.com. Read Radical Love by Patrick Cheng. read What is the Bible? by Rob Bell. Read Jesus Acted Up by Robert Goss.)

Did you know you can support my work on Patreon?

Photo Credit: jojomotion Flickr via Compfight cc