KENOSHA, WI—Exulting with joy as she kicked over an empty stroller, mother Michelle Groves, 34, was observed saying “I’m free, I’m finally free” to herself and several onlookers in Target Wednesday, moments before realizing her child was simply hiding inside a nearby clothing rack. “At last I’ve cast off my burden! The great weight is lifted!” said Groves in a burst of sudden elation, before going on to piece her life’s ambitions back together and calculate the money she and her husband were about to save. “Dave and I could go on a trip together! Maybe fall in love again! Or…Or I could leave him! Go back to school! My life is mine again! Mine! My living nightmare is over!” Eyewitnesses report the laughing, dancing Groves stopped dead in her tracks and began to weep silently when the sound of her daughter’s giggles came from the center of a circular rack of discount jeans.

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