Simmons is the Rookie of the Year. He’s also worthy of all-Defense recognition, and he might make All-NBA too. He made ours. What else is there to say about the guy? How about this:

2. Donovan Mitchell, Utah (Serge)

I could just be a contrarian and insert like three other names here to make sure the rest of the internet joins Celtics Twitter in their hatred of yours truly. Mitchell’s had what is undoubtedly one of the best rookie seasons of the last decade, shattering expectations and providing material for future re-draft articles in droves. He also became the go-to option for a Utah team coping with the loss of their star, got them right back into the playoffs and has them playing out of their collective mind. Rookies just don’t do that.

Any other year Mitchell would be the one and only option for ROY and the undisputed first selection for All-Rookie team. Unfortunately, this isn’t any other year because we have a literal magician in Ben Simmons. So Spida has to settle for all the consolation prizes.

3. Bogdan Bogdanovic, Sacramento (Brandon)

The NBA does All-Rookie right, and by that I mean they let us just pick the best five guys for First Team and the next five for Second Team, positions be damned. Well, this is a draft, and I’m using some draft strategy. There’s four pretty clear First Team rookie selections, so I’m waiting on the other two and staking my claim to the fifth, a man so nice they named him twice.

Bogdan Bogdanovic is the best player on the Sacramento Kings. I realize that’s kind of like being the best ice fisherman from South Sudan, but there are only 30 best-player-on-an-NBA-franchise guys in the world, and Bogdanovic is one as a rookie. He is the one Kings player every NBA playoff team would benefit from rostering.

Bogdanovic averaged 15/4/4 per 36 minutes and shot a tidy 39% from deep. He is a jackknife that can do a bit of everything, moving the ball along quickly, taking a quality shot if it’s there, acting as a secondary handler and creator, and playing decently switchable defense on the wing. Bogdanovic is 25 years old and was the All-Europe Player of the Year last year, so he’s cheating even more than Ben Simmons, but I don’t care.

4. OG Anunoby, Toronto (Serge)

We’re about to get a very angry email from LaVar Ball, because no matter how much you try to be a contrarian, I can’t see you pick anyone else other than Tatum here. Besides, it’s my job to piss off Boston. Stay in yo lane.

OG is the unsung hero of this year’s draft class. Even now, he is very often an important factor in the Raptors success. If he doesn’t tweak his ankle Game 4, we probably win it with him on the floor. OG has been the plug-and-play 3-and-D forward we thought Norm was going to be when we gave him all that money. He is the Bruno that was promised, capable of amazing defense and able to knock down shots when necessary. Easily a top-5 rookie this year.

5. Jayson Tatum, Boston (Brandon)

Color me stunned. I don’t have OG on my First Team, nor Second, and he would’ve been a close call on my hypothetical Third. I mean… OG scored 6ppg and played 20 minutes a game, and he lost playing time down the stretch. He was like… the 8th or 9th most important Raptor? Look, I love OG. I had him top ten on my draft board, and I practically begged my Timberwolves to take him (RIP Justin Patton). He’s super fun and useful. But his inclusion here means we now have to leave the leading scorer of the Los Angeles Lakers (your favorite team, by the way!!) off First Team. And Lonzo, who’s barely even First Team All Lakers rookies.

Alas. Future Hall of Fame lock (just ask Twitter) Jayson Tatum is definitely First Team. He’d have a case for Rookie of the Year most seasons, and he’s been far better than I ever would’ve expected. All hail President Stevens. What would it have looked like if Tatum and Kuzma swapped teams? Would Tatum still have shot 43% threes? Doubtful. Would he have led the Lakers in scoring? Probably. But I think we’d be hyping Kuzma a lot more. How is it possible that a rookie led the Lakers in scoring as the #27 pick and is somehow UNDER hyped? My head hurts.