Matthew B. Mowery of the Oakland Press may have typed up the MLB's quote of the year after speaking with Justin Verlander on Monday.

Q: Have you ever ...

A: Hit somebody in the nuts? No.

I mean, he took a hack at the first pitch. He already hit one bomb, and then the next one, he just totally squared at me, and I was like ‘Oh, God, this isn't going to be good.' Right out of the hand, it's like ‘Oh, (crap).' That is right at his balls."

To fill in a few of the blanks, Verlander plunked Mets second baseman Jordany Valdespin in, well, right where he said, in the fifth inning. It was the second batter the Tigers' ace hit. He'd also pegged Ruben Tejada two innings prior. As Verlander said, Valdespin had already hit a homer -- he led off the game with one.

Verlander finished the day having allowed five earned runs in 4 1/3 innings.

Valdespin did live to tell the tail, fortunately, leading Grant Brisbee to wonder: "frank or beans?"

Valdespin says he is OK ... Asked where he got hit: "My dick," Valdespin said. — Mike Puma (@NYPost_Mets) March 11, 2013

I'm not sure if Valdespin has already had any children. Let's hope so, because otherwise he may never be able to tell this tale to his grandkids.