In his inspiring books aimed at sales professionals, Zig Ziglar did not write but probably should've written: "One's effort should be commensurate with one's chances of succeeding."

If you would like to see this bit of life advice put to action, then please regard the following action-sports footage ...

Young man, you have done well. In doing well, you have taught us well. What, from this, have we learned about sports and sports writ large -- i.e., life itself? Let us put to paper some of the lessons handed down to us on the stone tablets of baseball indolence ...

Assigned tasks and duties, rather than being mandatory, are but polite requests.

Polite requests can be refused.

The best thing about the team environment -- really, the only good thing about the team environment -- is that someone will necessarily clean up your mess.

Eyewash is for suckers.

There is nobility in surveying one's responsibilities and determining that they are lame-wad.

Life makes you sleepy.

Shirk duties like no one's watching.

Nobody move, nobody get hurt.

If you're going to fail, then at least look like you don't care.

Ah, sh*t.

Everything can be made better by lying the hell down where you stand.

How do you conduct yourself up the ladder of life? I'm not sure, but if you want to learn how to get by when it comes to getting by, then the righteous buckaroo above is here to help.