ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

It’s enough to burst a blood vessel in the back of Barefoot’s brain.

Dennis Coleman has bought lunch for the fifth time this week and for the second time, he’s chosen sushi.

The 28-year-old brokeman works in The Advocate’s sales and admin team, where he’s paid handsomely to do not that much.

However, it seems he’s not aware of the gravy train he’s currently on, giving up the opportunity to save and invest his spare monies by eating an extravagant and expensive midday meal.

Besides all of this, the weak-willed Gemini says he doesn’t know why he’s still living week to week – despite being a single man, living in a sharehouse on a very high five-figure salary.

“It’s got me fucked,” he said as he shovelled another disc of net-caught dolphin into his head.

“Each second Thursday, I’m hanging out for my pay to drop. It’s not like I smoke or do drugs, I mean, I do. But it’s usually someone else’s drugs or smokes, you know what I mean?”

“Anyway, this sushi is really good. So fresh.”

When our reporter put it too him that maybe he was broke because of his desk lunch penchant, Coleman said who are The Advocate to judge anybody about anything.

“I’ve seen the drivel the editorial team puts together. Do you know how hard it is to sell ad space around those blocks of grammatically-infuriating and typo-riddled garbage? It’s harder than listening to The Potbellez sober! So fuck off!”

“But you’re probably right.”

More to come.

