Get any group of people together, no matter their moral platitudes, and there is bound to be conflict. Sometimes this conflict can lead to a heightened crisis that threatens the health of the organization with loss of membership, customers and leadership. If left unmanaged, the conflict-turned-crisis can have lasting, damaging effects: poor self-image, leadership demoralization, a scarred community image, organizational paralysis, and covered up interpersonal wounds.

One would hope that a church community would be better suited and equipped for managing conflict and dealing with crisis. However, my experience has been that this is not true. My work experience in other organizations has been a mixed bag. After all, were all are human no matter where we work.

At the same time, some organizations I have worked in have had a proactive conflict management plan with proactive leaders. Where these leaders have followed the conflict management plan, the conflict was dealt with quickly and decisively with little disruption to the organization. Sometimes the issue was resolved without loss of employees and sometimes it was not. However, everyone knew the steps carried out as well as the outcome and why it was arrived at in that way.

I have yet to find a church organization that deals with conflict so constructively. And I have to ask why? (I am not asserting that one does not exist, I am simply stating that my limited experience has yet to discover one through my encounters or of those friends that have shared their stories of church conflicts and crises with me.) The answer to that question is complicated.

Unfortunately, our public news channels carry too many stories of the failure on the part of church organizations to deal with conflict and crises. This should cause all church leaders, at whatever level, to sit up and take notice that if they do not practice proactive judgment concerning conflict and crisis in their faith community, then the larger surrounding community will for them. This will come out as clearly as exposure in the news media outlets or as subtly as the community staying away – and warning all their friends and relatives to stay away.

So, why do church organizations fail at constructively and proactively handling conflict or crisis? The answer varies…

Church leaders and their followers tend to spiritualize the conflict. Thus, it is just a matter of all parties concerned praying about it, reading Bible verses about peace keeping, not speaking evil and guarding their tongues. While these are good spiritual disciplines, they do not actually deal with the problem at hand. It is to treat spiritual disciplines as some kind of magic that will make the problem suddenly go away. And if it doesn’t go away? Then the problem is with our spirituality and not that we simply didn’t wisely handle to problem. Church leaders and their followers tend to bury the conflict. The attitude is that Christians should not offend others. Broadly taken, this inhibits any confrontation that needs to happen in a healthy organization. Thus, hurt feelings and offenses get covered up in hopes that it will, after awhile, just go away and be forgotten. Sometimes conflict is buried because everyone assumes that it is the pastor’s job or that the way the pastoral leadership is dealing with the conflict (even if it is to avoid dealing with it at all) is the best and only way. This is connected to the idea that Christians should never offend. It also means they do not question leadership actions (or inactions). The unspoken cultural value in these church organizations is that a good Christian doesn’t question the process or its outcomes but trusts that, whatever the result, the church leadership did the right thing (or at least meant to do the right thing). Church leaders and their followers tend to misuse The Matthew 18 Principle. The Matthew 18 Principle is taken from The Gospel According to Matthew 18:15 – 19. The idea is that interpersonal conflict should be dealt with on a personal level and only escalated to the leadership level or the larger community level after that has failed. This is a great model for interpersonal conflict and should be used more often. However, it only deals with an interpersonal conflict. What happens when that conflict, as often happens, involves a larger group of the faith community? What should the steps be when the conflict involves a high profile leader? What is the strategy when the conflict is witnessed or known by many individuals? This is where The Matthew 18 Principle does not entirely help us. It is limited in scope and application. Church leaders and their followers tend to attack and silence the messengers. Often, in order to deal with the array of opinions, personal judgments, and purveyors of partial truths, church leadership will attempt to shut up or shout down such background noise. This is often done under the guise of “trusting leadership to handle it” and “personal privacy issues” for those involved in the conflict. Both of these are worthy considerations for all concerned. However, they miss the larger need of communicating to all parties who have a vested interest in the process and the outcome. By attempting to attack or silence those who want to give a message to one or both of the parties or to the leadership managing the conflict, the problem is only compounded not alleviated.

Conflict and crisis is always unsettling. It is like experiencing an earthquake. When the whole earth is moving, you just want it to stop and feel solid, un-shaking ground under your feet again. After the earthquake, everyone is talking about it. It becomes a shared experience and also a process to assure each other that everything will be alright. Conflict and crisis in an organization shakes the whole structure. People are going to talk about their experience. They need to talk about their fears, insecurities and reassure each other that they will survive the process and the outcome.

Unfortunately, few churches have a conflict/crisis management strategy that also includes a conflict/crisis management communication strategy. If they do, it most often boils down to this: “Don’t talk about it. Trust your leadership.” This almost always fails except in cult-like or personality driven faith communities. Since conflict and crisis are a part of the human experience, wise leadership should use the “calm before the storm” to thoughtfully plan a conflict and crisis management strategy.

An often overlooked key to conflict and crisis management is communication. Sometimes only dealing with the parties involved is not sufficient. This is especially true when dealing with high-profile situations or prominent people in a church organization. Often times, it is managed behind the scenes. The next thing the congregation and other church employees know is that certain people are no long around. Without explanation, they are left to create their own stories of the events and outcomes.

Part of a good strategy is managing the story that is being told, especially by the employees and core leaders of the organization. This does not mean twisting the story’s events to make an organization and its leadership look good. It means having an open, honest and truthful explanation of events. The more transparent the communication – even with the admission of stumbles and failures on the part of leadership – the better. Not everyone may like the outcomes, but they at least know the process was open and honest. Most leadership, employees and customers can live with this process.

Another part of a healthy strategy is wisely deciding the scope of communication needed. This involves answering the questions, “Who needs to know?” and “Who does this affect?” Some one likened it to having a group of people standing around when someone spills a bucket of paint. Who got paint on them? They are the ones that need to be addressed and included in the communication even if they are not involved in the process. Ignore them and they will tell the story from their point of view and experience. Include them in the group experience and it becomes larger than just a their own personal story. Now it involves a group experience that involves clean up and recovery from the accident or tragedy.

Conflict mediation is not new. It has been around for as long as humankind has walked the earth. Today, there are formal It has been around for as long as humankind has walked the earth. Today, there are formal conflict or dispute resolution and mediation services in local communities . Non-profit dispute resolution centers exist around the country and effectively help organizations and individuals work through conflict. They can prevent costly court and lawyer fees and bring satisfaction to all parties involved. Many large organizations establish their own dispute resolution teams. This may be a model that could serve well most churches.

Using a third-party dispute resolution source or developing a team within the organization is for each organization to determine. For churches, this may mean using a trusted faith-based group outside the organization such as trained denominational leadership. I’ve worked cross-denominationally to help another church and its pastor navigate conflict and crisis. The key is having a plan and engaging that at the earliest possible moment. This is when leadership is most needed. Proactive leadership will…

Know the triggers or events that call for the plan to be engaged,

Work the plan,

Communicate how the plan is working to those who need to know, and

Identify the stages and outcomes of working the plan, and then, finally,

Evaluate how the plan worked and what needs to be adjusted to make it work better next time.

Every leader realizes that he or she may not be able to take everyone through the crisis and keep them in the organization. For whatever reason, individuals will decide for themselves if they trust leadership and how it is working for everyone’s interest. However, the goal of church leadership especially should be to help as many people navigate the turbulent waters of conflict and crisis and bring as many people as possible through the storm. The church more than any other organization should be able to navigate these storms. This will take a commitment to living out biblical principles of forgiveness and reconciliation along with proactive leaders who have a publicly recognized, transparent plan that is managed and communicated carefully during these times. It may not prevent the storms from coming, but it will certainly help the church fellowship survive them.

©Weatherstone/Ron Almberg, Jr. (September, 2011)

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