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Hail Savages!

Warning, the following podcast is rated NC-17 *No one 17 and under admitted* for depictions of intense and persistent violence, fantasy violence, implied violence, language well beyond polite conversation, profanity raised to an art form liberally dispersed from beginning to end, crude humor, consensual and non-consensual substance abuse, Nudity both sexually oriented and otherwise including male nudity and alien nudity and alien male nudity, and graphic sexual content of every sort: sexual content, sexual themes, sexual violence, sexual gymnastics, incest, BDSM, costume play, artistic orgasm, adultery, inter-species sexuality, Jedi mind trick gas lighting, and all sorts of references to non-consensual sex, impaired faculties sex, rape, kidnapping, false imprisonment, molestation, masturbation, mastication, hiding an electro staff in one’s anus and whatever you’d call getting your jollies off in the Saarlac pit.

Plus: Backstabbing, Murder, Theft, Jealousy, Genocide, False Flags, Evil Wizards, Terrorism and Revenge. And love, true love.

So if you’re not an adult, stop listening now. If you’ve ever been offended by people having the wrong kind of fun, stop listening now. If you’re already pulling up your fill in the blanks form letter with the words “problematic” “the galactic patriarchy” “alien cultural appropriation” or “sith privilege” stop listening now.

Do you like having your cherished Sci Fi and Fantasy properties unceremoniously tortured beyond recognition?

Do you enjoy foul language and offensive humor?

Are you an adult whose delinquency I can legally contribute to by way of this podcast?

Then you just might love this actual play from GenghisCon 2016. It’s a Sunday morning game I wrote and ran called “Star Wars: Coming, Winter Is” where the classic Star Wars characters get taken over by their Game of Thrones alter-egos.

It was an interesting experiment for me. I’ve never really included sexual situations in my games and this one goes to the extreme other end of that scale. Which frankly is more comfortable than trying to run or play in a sexual situation that is supposed to be taken seriously. Which I still doubt I’d ever bother with in a game.

I’ve never encouraged Player vs. Player action in my games and this game practically mandates it. You’ll notice that about half way through the game I don’t even have any NPCs to manage and it’s all just the players interacting with each other.

There’s also an interesting bit of GM fiat I pulled near the end. One of the characters basically ended the game, and it was totally appropriate and consistent with the character. So that was the theatrical release ending but we played out a Blu-Ray Director’s Cut with alternate ending, and I ran the next scene. We had about 20 minutes left, the next scene was necessary to provide at least one other character the pay-off they had waited the entire game to achieve, and it also gave the players who had just been killed in the first ending a chance at a different outcome.

Unfortunately a lot of this dialogue was in my head and didn’t get communicated to the players like “hey, great ending, not going to take that away from you, but who wants to see what would happen if we also do this next scene, too.” I think it worked out though.

Blurb:

A blonde knight with one hand. A princess in the highest ranks of power. Siblings. Lovers. Conspiratorial murderers who brought down the last regime to install their evil father on the throne. Lannisters? Nay, Skywalkers.

Alderaan was a false flag event. The destruction of the Death Star was an inside job. Anakin “Darth Vader” Skywalker and his progeny have always known, always been in league. Their rise to the top of the Rebel Alliance and the Empire is no-coincidence, it’s all been a part of their plan.

And now the only thing that stands in their way to complete galactic domination is YOU. Restore the Republic, oust the tyrants!

Chapters:

Podcast Introduction

0:00:00 – 0:04:30

Pre-Game Discussion: Shaved Wookiee Jedi Masters?

0:04:30 – 0:08:15

Actual Play Introduction

0:08:15 – 0:16:50

Bespin Love Shack

0:16:50 – 01:42:00

Space Fight, Space Fight!

01:42:00 – 02:06:15

Bathroom Humor Break

02:06:15 – 02:15:40

Shitty Volcanic Moon

02:15:40 – 03:13:45

Death Star THREE!

03:13:45 – 03:32:24

Identities obscured to protect the guilty:

GM: ▮▮▮▮▮ “Savage Bull” ▮▮▮▮▮▮

Han Solo: Ben ▮▮▮▮▮▮

Chewbacca: Chris ▮▮▮▮▮

C3PO: Chuck ▮▮▮▮▮▮

R2D2: Amber ▮▮▮▮▮-▮▮▮▮▮

Lando: Toan ▮▮▮▮▮

Boba Fett: Daniel ▮▮▮