Twenty years ago, the headline above might have seemed more appropriate in The Onion. At the time, Duff McKagan was still sticking it out as the longtime bassist of Guns N' Roses, despite the group's well-publicized inner turmoil and his own struggles with drug and alcohol addiction. But since departing the world's most famous rock band in 1997, Seattle native McKagan–who initially cut his teeth drumming in Pac Northwest punk and hardcore bands including the Fastbacks and the Fartz–has sobered up, settled down and set roots in his hometown, marrying model/swimwear designer Susan Holmes and raising two teenage girls.

Not that he's stayed idle. Since the turn of the 2000s, McKagan helped launch platinum-selling outfit Velvet Revolver, in addition to fronting and/or co-founding Loaded, the Neurotic Outsiders and his latest labor of love, Walking Papers. But he's also carved out a niche writing about everything from music to marriage to his beloved Seattle Seahawks in an ongoing Seattle Weekly column and a 2012 memoir titled It's So Easy (and Other Lies). The follow-up to that initial non-fiction tome, , is released this week, and focuses more specifically on issues surrounding masculinity, paternity, partnership and maintaining your integrity and footing in a dizzying world and culture. To that end, we picked McKagan's brain for his most sagely advice on how young dudes suddenly dealing with multiple roles as dad, spouse and provider can ably adjust to their new domesticated life without losing their mind, virility or sense of self.

Give Your Parents a Hug

I gave my dad and my mom a big break once I was in the first week of having our first baby. I was like, "Oh, shit, I don't know what I'm doing. They didn't know what they were doing." Especially now that I've got a senior in high school and a freshman in high school. You make this shit up as you're going. I don't have any experience raising kids [their] age today. I've never done this before, so you make it up as you go and you do your best, and that's about all you can do. And I guess my parents just did their best. There were eight fucking kids. There's no manual, is there?

Other Parents Are Your Friends

You become friends with your kids' friends' parents. That's just the way it's gonna be. And sometimes you luck out, and it's great. You're all in the same boat, so you do have that thing in common. Single people without kids aren't gonna get you, and you're gonna scratch your head at them, too. The new-parents thing weeds itself out pretty quick. You'll recognize when the kids are in kindergarten, "I'll probably be friends with that family." We've been friends with some couples for 15 years and probably will be for the rest of our lives, whereas we're not in the same circles otherwise, but we are now because of our kids. Your kids become your circle. All the adult circles you had are gonna be gone. [Laughs]

Don't Worry, Some Of Your Old Friends Can Come Too

Your single guy or girlfriends, the good ones will rise to the top, and you probably knew before you had kids which ones would rise to the top. And the ones that don't, I don't think you'll miss. Having kids is so great for guys like you and me, because it strengthens those good friendships we have with guys who may remain single and kid-less for the rest of their lives. They're good uncles, they respect your wife and wanna help wherever possible, and they're your bro. They got your back and your kids' back and your wife's back and your family's back, and you got their back, too. Nothing changes there. It's just you've added some extra bling to your life.

Make a Good First Impression

When you say no or give them something right now, these are the habits they're gonna have. I think parenting's done when they're like nine. You've given 'em all the inputs they're gonna use. By the time they're 13 and 14, they're at school, they're at after-school stuff, they might be getting a ride home in some senior's car. Is that a good idea? You've already given them the tools to make that decision. You can't do that at 14. You've already done that when they're seven.

Daytime is the New Sexy Time

I've written a couple times about making sexy time and shit, and I kinda start swearing when I talk about sex, because when there's kids and fluffy shit around and little cartoons and pink things, you gotta make it dirty. I'm not just talking about for myself. Maybe it's just the chemistry of my wife and I, but we set aside time, whether that's a nanny or a daycare or whatever. We make dates in the daytime to get down, and she'll put some stuff on and we'll have a thing going, and you start getting kind of psyched for it. We make it fun. Whatever it takes, because it's such an important part of your marriage.

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