Harmonyrays Mon 28-Oct-19 02:23:03

Ok, looking for opinions as to whether IABU here. Sorry for the long post but please bear with me.



Married for 10 years plus, dcs are 6 and 2. I have been unhapoy in my marriage for many years. Lots of reasons, lack of closeness, debt thats accumulated due to DH spending, somewhat controlling and very little emotional support e.g. when i had the dcs and when my father died last year. He also does nothing around the hius6e or with the kids. I have mentioned wanting to end things at leadt 4 times before but DH will always 'talk me round'. I feel positive about things changing but after a short while it just goes back to the same old same old. Its got to the point now where we have very different views on parenting that is causing daily arguments (i feel he does anything for an easy life with the kids and will not parent them properly just fling them a device etc).



Anyway, i crossed a line this weekend. I have had a very strong crush on my brother in law for the whole time ive been married (another thread in itself!) I mean seriously strong as in i think of him every day, fantasize abiut him and i am very attracted to him. But no single person knows this. He has just divorced.



Saturday night he messaged me something about his kids, i replied give them a kiss from me. He replied 'and what about me'. After a lot of thought i replied 'you of course too' . We are both muslim. This is a big no no! He then replied saying 'sorry i thought it was ...(ds)' messaging and said good night. I felt so foolish. Hes obviously not at all interested but my reaction and reason for responding the kiss was also for him was a way of letting him know im interested in him. I know very school girl playground antics.



Anyway i feel i crossed a line and that actually i was hoping for something more because im so unhappy but was very wrong of me.



I called DH this morning and told him that due to all the problems we have i want a divorce, that ive had enough of waiting for things to get better. That im so guilty about breaking our family up but can not go on like this. He doesnt know about the message. He is mortified and again Begging for another chance and more time to change. I feel that we are done and with what i did yesterday with his brother i cant come back from. Im not myself lately totally changed person and i feel its because if how deeply unhappy i am. Then i think 'give your head a wobble women' hes not done anything that bad and its wrong to end things. So confused. Ive been looking at places to rent to.move to next week without going back home.



Aibu to just go for this and leave with the DCs?