STACEY COPAS, 38 Sydney, NSW Stacey Copas. At 12 years of age, Stacey was a keen athlete who dreamed of becoming a vet. But her life plans derailed one Sunday afternoon when a dive into a backyard pool went horribly wrong. Stacey found herself at the bottom of the pool, unable to move. She tried to hold her breath as long as she could, but soon her lungs filled with water and she blacked out. Stacey's brother pulled her to safety and she was whisked to hospital. Later that night a doctor delivered life-changing news: "He told me I'd broken my neck and that I'd never walk again." It was a devastating blow. Stacey spent seven months in hospital, where she was bored, frustrated and struggled to cope with her prognosis. "It's tough being a 12 year-old at the best of times, but coming to grips with that, it's like your whole identity has changed."

Things weren't much better when she finally went home. Stacey turned to alcohol and marijuana in her teens for "momentary escapes" from reality as she battled depression and anxiety But as she hit her 20s, Stacey's outlook began to change. She was living with a boyfriend, working in administration (she had limited use of the fingers on her left hand) and was leading a "pretty normal life". She accepted Option A was no longer on offer; she now had to decide how to live Option B. "Ultimately it came down to a simple choice: do you let it ruin your life? Or do you embrace it? I chose to embrace it to make my life better." That choice led to action. Stacey ran for the NSW parliament at the 2007 state election, volunteered in the Solomon Islands as a peer mentor for people with disabilities, assisted the Red Cross in Cambodia, and became an ambassador for former professional surfer Layne Beachley's Aim For The Stars Foundation, which helps young women to achieve their dreams. "People would say to me, 'Stace, how did you end up being so positive and ambitious, even though you've had so many setbacks?' " She realised that instead of continuing her downward spiral after the accident, choosing to pick herself up and thrive was preferable.

Stacey tapped into her "competitive streak" to motivate her to continue achieving and has wowed others with her resilience. She's now a keynote speaker on that topic, as well as founder of the Academy of Resilience, through which she aims to broaden the reach of her approach to life. Stacey's current life is worlds away from anything her 12-year-old self could ever have envisioned. If she could speak to the scared little girl in that hospital bed, she would reassure her that while her life wouldn't turn out as planned, "that's not necessarily a bad thing". Nowadays, Stacey feels she's been given a "really unique experience in life", for which she is "incredibly grateful". If the accident hadn't happened, she says she would never have met the incredible people she has, nor would she have been given such amazing opportunities. "Having this happen to me was actually a positive thing." CHERYL DUFFY, 52 Sydney, NSW

Cheryl Duffy . Credit:Suuplied Devastated, Cheryl tried to keep life as normal as possible for her children. She threw herself into work and tried to maintain the usual household routine. But inside, she was in a "very dark place". She still loved Andrew. ("You can't just switch off and not love someone any more.") At work, she would run into him often. "I'd then have to duck away into a meeting room and compose myself because I'd get very teary." Depressed and anxious, Cheryl began comfort-eating and piled on 20 kilograms. She socialised occasionally but had no interest in dating again, for fear of getting hurt. She continued on the same path – pining for her old life – for six years.

Two years ago, that all changed. One night, Cheryl went to the pub with a group of friends and – because of space issues – they were seated with another couple. "They were a second-time-around married couple, very lovey-dovey and affectionate." They all started talking. When Cheryl said she was divorced and hadn't dated since, the woman said she could see that, as Cheryl had "no spark" in her eyes. The woman added that she was in the same boat after her own divorce, and that a recovery program had helped her move on. "I basically had an 'a-ha' moment; that I was pining for my old life and living in limbo. I couldn't have my old life, but I wasn't moving forward, either." Cheryl embarked on the recovery program the woman had told her about and began seeing a psychologist. She sold the family home, started eating healthily, began dating and quit her job, so she no longer ran into Andrew. She's now passionate about helping others through divorce. She's penned a book, The Divorce Tango, and holds workshops. A year ago she met her new partner, Tom*, who has given her a fresh outlook on love.

"When you're married for 20 years, it's not all the romance it used to be. But I used to think, 'Well, what do you expect? You're just very comfortable with each other.' Now I realise I deserve to have someone who adores me and thinks I'm the best thing that's ever happened to them." Though Cheryl spent six years yearning for Option A, she's now thriving in Option B. "Divorce isn't the end of your life – it's a new beginning." RACHEL NOBLE, 40 Sunshine Coast, Queensland Rachel Noble.

In 2011, Rachel was a busy stay-at-home mother to her four children, aged nine, seven, three, and 20 months. Her husband, Euan, was a kidney specialist, and Rachel had applied to do a graduate diploma in secondary school teaching. But Rachel's world came crashing down on October 4, when Hamish, her youngest child, passed away in a tragic backyard accident. "It was earth-shattering, beyond devastating," Rachel recalls. "The amount of pain and grief … was just all-consuming." The months after Hamish's accident were a blur. Euan took a few months off work. "We basically sat and stared into the distance, or at each other, wondering what on earth we were going to do." Swamped by grief, the couple tried to function for the sake of their children, hoping to make them feel as loved and as safe as possible. It wasn't easy. "The best advice I was given was to take it one day at a time. For me it was literally one breath at a time, until I could function one minute at a time." Sometimes Rachel would make it to lunchtime before collapsing and sleeping for the afternoon, exhausted by her grief. Slowly, Rachel learnt to "contain" her sadness, "not because the grief lessened or the heartache lessened, but because I learnt to live with it over time". Hamish became a "fuel" for Rachel's life, as she wanted to honour his memory with all she did. "I wanted him to know, if he was watching me, that love never ends." Rachel's love continued to grow when baby Finley arrived in 2013. "We knew a new baby would never replace Hamish … but we knew he'd possibly be a real source of joy for us – and he has been."

Six years after their loss, Rachel is still grieving. ("It's not finite, it's eternal.") But nowadays, that grief manifests itself through "moments". Recently she was alone in the car and was struck by such a moment. "I was trying to remember what it was like to touch Hamish's hair and what his skin felt like, and I broke down." Rachel now realises that you can continue to love a child even when they're no longer with you physically. "You just have to channel it in different ways," she says. You may not be able to bathe, feed or clothe them, but you can think of them, speak about them, and send them "boundless love". That love was the motivation behind the children's picture book she wrote, Finn's Feather (due for release in 2018), designed to help grieving siblings. While Rachel would do anything to have Hamish back, she accepts that she's living Option B. That involves honouring Hamish while loving and caring for all her children. It's not a smooth road, but Rachel infuses love into all she does. "Generally, we're doing a pretty good job," she says. "We have our moments, but we're doing our best." *Names have been changed.