Wow, guys. This week’s episode really knocked our socks off and then ran both of our feet over with lawn mowers. What. The. Fuck. Believe us, we’re not complaining, it was incredible to spend a whole hour three minutes saying “Is this really happening? Holy shit!”, especially when it involves Betty Fucking Draper getting back to her old bitchy ways. Love her. We wondered where things would go after the strange and sad nature of the last episode, and this was a great direction. We started this series purposely not spending too much time analyzing the episodes and breaking down all of the symbolism, because we can’t quit our day jobs until you guys start sending us a paycheck. Ha. But our list of top moments and WTFs is kind of endless this time around! Still, we’ll give it a whirl:

-Betty has shed the rest of her mystery weight, and starts the episode off with a bang, literally. Having almost the EXACT same conversation that led her to Henry, with some skeeze, then fucking her husband in a limo? Anya couldn’t help crowing “bitch is backkkk!” like nine hundred times this episode.



-Betty and Don, reuniting and it feels so good? As soon as we saw that gas station attendant gaping at a blonde, we had high hopes the Dysfunctional Drapers would have another romp, and Matthew Weiner made all of our dreams come true, down to Betty winning the morning after contest. They’re both so delusional, it’s great and bizarre to watch them singing with their most obnoxious child, pretending that the past few years never happened. Keep on keepin’ on, Drapers. You almost belong together.

-Peggy “I’m gonna sell this shit hole” Olson slamming the door on Abe. Less great? The stabbing, and then him slamming the door on her with his incoherent ambulance rambling. Even worse? Peggy going to Ted and getting a very sunny shut down from him, and then finding both his and Don’s doors closed to her. Ugh.

-Bob Benson hanging out with Joan? Not happy about it (hoping that it’s genuine and not all part of a career-climbing plan) , but it was definitely another gasping moment, featuring the second most talked about pair of shorts in the episode. POOR ROGER. Well, we really can’t feel that bad for him, since his shopping trip for Kevin was a direct result of Margaret banning him from spending time alone with his grandson.

DON: How was your day? MEGAN: It was terrible, I don’t even know if I want to talk about it (You’re going to be in soaps forever with shitty acting like that, Megs.)

DON: How was your day? MEGAN: It was terrible, I don’t even know if I want to talk about it (You’re going to be in soaps forever with shitty acting like that, Megs.)

And now, onto the looks:

6. Soap Opera Silliness

Don and Betty may have visited Bobby at camp, but the real camp was happening on the set of Megan’s soap opera. We had to watch this episode separately, so when this orange dress and Megan’s bizarre red lace pantsuit with blonde wig came on the screen, Anya’s exclamations and enthused costume inspired smacking were directed at The Libertarian instead of Paul. Apparently, we should be watching soap operas from the sixties, especially if they’re all dressed like this. It’s so MUCH, and in such a great a hilarious way. We knew from Betty’s great yellow dress at Henry’s event that this was going to be quite an episode for clothes, and this only confirmed how over the top it was going.

5. Peggy’s Plucky Polka Dots (The Red Ones, Not the Sad Dropped-Waist Green Number at the End)

Peggy started out this episode looking so fantastic, and everything sort of went downhill (ending on a rather sour note) for her as they went sideways? for everyone else. We’ll cover her mustard and white dress/jacket number later, but we really like this sleeveless red polka dot top with the skirt too. She looked polished and professional, and we think she’s been dressing up for Ted too. Love the scarf element, and the bold pattern with a bold color. Looking fly, girl.

4. Don’s Pleasing Polo

With Don apparently over both Sylvia and her fainting spell, we were happy to see him looking like his old manly self both in the office and at this mysterious camp. Anya loved his plaid blazer and light blue shirt (his morning after outfit), but we both loved his extremely fitted navy polo. So casual for Don, and something we have seen before, but not in a looooong time. It’s appropriate that he broke it back out for his trip down memory lane, or maybe What Might Have Been Avenue. Despite his MANY personal problems, so far Don is still managing to pull it together and be his old self, at least enough to tell a lady what she wants to hear in order to get into bed with her.

3. Peggy in her Professional Power Mustard

Peggy may not ever really give us the glamour that Betty, Joan, or Megan are capable of producing, but she does have some damn excellent work clothes. She seems to have finally figured it out this season and has been giving us one great office look after another (although her attraction to her boss might have a little something to do with it). We loved the color blocking on this mustard and white piece and it looks amazing with and without the jacket. The peek-a-boo strip of white between the pleats on the front of the skirt is a particularly nice detail. Love the sad attempt to avoid having to pick between Don and Ted by briskly walking by and pointing at the files in her hand.

2. Joan’s Bewitching Beach Dress

Joan, oh Joan. When we heard she was going to the beach this episode, we pictured delightful sixties bathing suits and Joan classing it up in the sand (under an umbrella to protect her fair skin) sipping something. Basically what we wish we were doing this weekend, down to the fair skin. When we saw this fantastic anchor embroidered dress, we gave the writers a break for skipping the actual beach. This lovely nautical dress fits her perfectly, like everything she wears, ever. Love the patriotic headscarf, the loose hair, and the cute and more casual fit. Joan knocks it out of the park again.

1. Betty in a Butter-Colored Dream

No margarine here, folks, this is the real deal. Joan looked amazing this episode, but no one could top Betty (Hofstadt-Draper) Francis, back on top. We loved this amazing yellow dress, but really, everything Betty wore this episode made us happy. From her great opening charming a creepy donor and making every transparent attempt to show off her new body, she is back to her old self and we couldn’t be happier. (The gloves! The pearls! The cape! The limousine makeout sesh!) Betty walked her frequently-visited line between childish bullshit and cutting commentary, but it seemed refined somehow. Not that she learned a lesson about being shallow from her fat days, but she seems slightly more together. We loved her interactions with Don this week, and Anya was pleased to finally see her having what seemed like the upper hand. We’re excited to see Betty back on top.