Dear The Internet:

Grow the f–k up.

The latest comic-related hootenanny to break out on the world wide web came about yesterday as bile spilled from the easily offended everywhere over Guillem March’s cover to the upcoming Catwoman #0. Like much of his work, and comics in general, it’s “too sexy” and being torn apart by men, women, and sheep with nothing better to do. Hash tag, NerdWorldProblems.

Seriously, people, there are any number of reasons that you’re insane for bitching about this, so let’s just start with a few of them, shall we? Hopefully, when all is said and done, we can all look back on this, have a laugh, and think rationally about things going forward. Yeah… probably not. Still, food for thought:

First and foremost? It’s ART! March isn’t drawing illustrations for an anatomy textbook. He’s being paid, handsomely I’d assume, to make appealing imagery. And unlike Greg “Xerox” Land, he’s putting his own creative stamp on that task. Y’know who else exaggerated anatomy? Picasso.

Second, more than just art, it’s comic art. Exaggeration happens. Many artists draw male figures with anatomies that would put most Mr. Universe’s to shame. Why can’t Selina here have a big ‘ole bubble butt and the boobs to match?

Because it’s unrealistic!? No. Sorry. Invalid argument. Maybe it doesn’t look like YOU or your significant other, but that doesn’t mean people can’t look like this.

Because it’s unrealistic!? No. Sorry. Invalid argument. Maybe it doesn’t look like YOU or your significant other, but that doesn’t mean people can’t look like this. Because it’s an impossible pose? Wrong again. So much of the argument against this image has come from people – such as “artist” Kate Beaton – claiming that this pose is physically impossible and websites – like ComicsAlliance – sensationalizing the story by suggesting Ms. Kyle’s back would have to be broken for this pose to be a reality. I guess it’s a good thing, then, that the misses Stratus and Cabrera know Dr. Shondra Kinsolving, then. Just because not everyone can get into this position doesn’t mean it’s unattainable, and considering Selina is – y’know – a CAT BURGLAR, I’d imagine she’s capable of some fairly contortionistic maneuvers, such as… oh, let’s say… THIS ONE, right here.

It’s simply revolting to me how readily people will jump on this witch hunt bandwagon as soon as someone says something is “over-sexualized” or “unrealistic.” It presents a bad image and makes Catwoman a poor role model? For one, she’s a catburglar. For two, have some personal accountability! I don’t know HOW I managed to grow up without transforming into a car or getting hooked on steroids, because I sure did watch a lot of Transformers and He-Man as a kid.

Stop drinking the Kool-Aid and have a real thought for once in your lives. When someone tells you something is bad and wrong, don’t just nod your head and post a blog about it. THINK first. Look at Beaton’s drawings and ask yourself if her keen artistic eye has correctly divined the nature of the pose in question, because I can tell you right now, it hasn’t. She’s drawn Selina’s breasts much higher than March did, and when you make that course correction and adjust the spine accordingly, you can see that it is an entirely reasonable if somewhat extreme pose.

Or you can go on bitching about it to be one of the cool kids. Just keep it off my damned Facebook page.

Here’s the thing – is Catwoman sexy? Yes. Is it just physical? No. It’s her confidence and attitude. It’s the fact that she WOULD be leaping straight at you to either claw your eyes out or claw your clothes off. She’s powerful, impulsive, and in control of herself and her life. THAT is what makes her sexy, and like it or hate it, this cover conveys that.

Filed Under: Op/Ed