Listen up, you media rapscallions. The Olympics is about to start, and I must remind you there will be no GIF-making. None at all. Especially not if you agreed to the IOC’s access terms.

You want to turn a historical moment into a shareable, looping clip that brings joy to the world by celebrating the human race’s determination to continually reach further than its own grasp? Well don’t!

Excited for Olympic GIFs? Don't get your hopes up. Note to press: Use of Olympic material transformed into GIFs "is expressly prohibited." — Natalie DiBlasio (@ndiblasio) August 4, 2016

Oh I see you hip social media manager types, your eyes wandering for other apps on your flashy East Coast superphones. You think your Vines will save you? You’re wrong as a cyclist asking for directions in a velodrome. It’s an oval, you fool. There’s nowhere to go but around.

No GIFs or GFYs. No WebMs, either. What’s a WebM? Doesn’t matter because you can’t use it.

Now, I’m just a humble writer, not learnt in the law, so I’ll leave the legal jargon to the International Olympic Committee’s warmly titled "NEWS ACCESS RULES APPLICABLE FOR THE BROADCAST OF THE GAMES OF THE XXXI OLYMPIAD, RIO DE JANEIRO, 5-21 AUGUST 2016."

2. Internet and Mobile Platforms Notwithstanding any other applicable limitation included in these NARs, Olympic Material must not be broadcast on interactive services such as "news active" or "sports active" or any other related Video on Demand services, which would allow the viewer to make a viewing choice within a channel and to thereby view Olympic Material at times and programs other than when broadcast as part of a News Program as set out in Clause 1 above. Additionally, the use of Olympic Material transformed into graphic animated formats such as animated GIFs (i.e. GIFV), GFY, WebM, or short video formats such as Vines and others, is expressly prohibited.

You want to make merry of this Olympics? Well my media friends, I wish you luck.