NYPD Grinches Hoverboards, Tries To Ruin Christmas

Dec. 3, 2015 (Mimesis Law) — Every holiday season, while advertisers are telling adults to buy each other luxury automobiles as gifts, the children of America have their sights sight on their own special flavor of Mercedes Benz. Each year, parents are confronted with the catch-22 that is the season’s must-have toy. Cabbage Patch Kids were all the rage in 1983. In 1996, children couldn’t wait to get their hands on a Tickle Me Elmo. 2006 brought us one step closer to the inevitable robot overlord takeover with the Nintendo Wii. This year is no different.

2015 will apparently be the year of the hoverboard.

On Cyber Monday, eBay sold one every 12 seconds, and parents are desperate to fill their children’s holiday wish list.

Great. More robots. If you haven’t seen kids, tweens and teens tooling around on these things, you will. Very soon. Here is a description from Hoverboard 360:

Our hoverboard is a self-balancing two-wheeled balance scooter that uses innovative gyroscopic technology. It has two footpads with intuitive, cutting edge sensors and aluminum smart balance wheels allowing it to detect even your slightest movements.

Allow me to summarize. The Hoverboard does not actually hover. It is a platform between two wheels. The rider stands on said platform. Some kind of dark magic keeps the rider from falling over while atop the Hoverboard. It maxes out at a whopping 12 mph.

Maybe hoverboards are hot because of their futuristic nature. Maybe it is the allure of the wind whipping through one’s hair as they break the 10 mph barrier. Or, maybe hoverboards are just another way for lazy humans to avoid the bothersome exertion of walking. Whatever it is, though, for many kids, this item is the only gift they want this holiday season.

But there is another group that sees more than just a toy that will likely be collecting dust by February. Back in November, the 26th Precinct of the NYPD tweeted out the following warning:

Be advised that the electric #hoverboard is illegal as per NYC Admin. Code 19-176.2 #Morningside #Harlem #Christmas

Did they really hashtag “Christmas” in a tweet telling people that the must-have toy of the season is illegal? Yes, they did. Beyond the Grinchian hashtaggery, there is the small issue of the law. You see, cops, in theory, are supposed to enforce the law. The NYPD supposedly thinks that hoverboards are “motorized scooters” and since the law says it is illegal to operate a motorized scooter in the city of New York, hoverbaords are illegal as well. Sound logic, right?

Well, it would be if the law did not make it excrutiatingly clear that hoverboards are actually not “motorized scooters.” Why don’t we take a look at the New York City Administrative Code cited by the NYPD. Section 19-176.2(a) reads as follows:

For purposes of this section, the term “motorized scooter” shall mean any wheeled device that has handlebars that …

Wait, really? I get that cops are rarely lawyers, but the very first line of the law cited by the NYPD leaves no doubt that the handlebar-less hoverboards are not “motorized scooters.” Maybe I missed something. Let’s continue.

… any wheeled device that has handlebars that is designed to be stood or sat upon by the operator, is powered by an electric motor or by a gasoline motor that is capable of propelling the device without human power and is not capable of being registered with the NY State DMV. For purposes of this section, the term motorized scooter shall not include wheelchairs or other mobility aids designed for use by disabled persons, electric powered devices not capable of exceeding fifteen miles per hour or “electric personal assistive devices” defined as self-balancing, two non-tandem wheeled devices designed to transport one person by means of an electric propulsion system.

They may not be lawyers, but I am. No handlebars. Not capable of exceeding fifteen miles per hour. Self-balancing. Two non-tandem wheeled devices designed to transport one person by means of an electric propulsion system. Sorry NYPD. Hoverboards are absolutely not “motorized scooters” and therefore are not illegal under §19-176.2.

Reporter Rob Nelson apparently made this same point to the NYPD when he wrote about the 26th Precinct’s misguided tweet.

[T]he city’s transportation department said Wednesday that motorized self-balancing devices, including Segways and “hoverboards,” are illegal as well. Riding them could cost you a $500 fine. […]

The questions regarding legality arose when the 26th Precinct sent out a tweet reminding residents that the boards were against the law, under NYC Admin Code 19-176.2. The tweet was later deleted, but police are now confirming they are indeed illegal because they cannot be registered.

All it took was for a reporter to ask a few questions, and poof, the tweet was taken down. But don’t think you’ve won this round, New Yorkers. Those hoverboards are still illegal, because … other law?

Wrong again. Despite the other law, hoverboards are still legal. Allow me to explain. The circular reasoning that hoverboards are illegal because they cannot be registered with the DMV is absurd on its face. New York Vehicle and Traffic Law §401 controls what vehicles must be registered with the NY State DMV.

No motor vehicles shall be operated or driven upon the public highways of this state without first being registered in accordance with the provisions of this article.

If someone cares so little about their own safety that he is willing to tinker down a busy New York City street on a hoverboard, he has arguably turned that hoverboard into a motor vehicle and broken the law. However, the NYPD did not warn about riding hoverboards on city streets or public roadways. Such a warning would have been quite prudent.

The NYPD first sent out a tweet “reminding” New Yorkers that the New York City Administrative Code says hoverboards are illegal. In the face of such blistering questions as “how exactly?” New York’s police did what cops always seem to do. They stayed the course, obfuscated, and persisted in their wrongheadedness.

But make no mistake, the NYPD is wrong. If there are New York parents out there who have a hoverboard hidden in the back of their closet, rest assured that it is not illegal. The law generally gets things right, and the law did not decide, all of a sudden, to outlaw this new toy.

If that provides comfort, it shouldn’t. Remember, this is the NYPD. This agency has a bit of a history in overenforcing the law in certain communities while ignoring the laws that tell them not to. Despite the fact that the law clearly excludes hoverboards from registration and prohibition, no one will be at all surprised when the police ticket hoverers and confiscate their boards.

The ultimate question that must be asked is a simple one. Why? Why are hoverboards anything the police department for the largest city in the nation would even think about for a second? Why would the police look at this silly fad and think that this involves them in any way? And with the holiday season upon us, what kind of people want to keep toys out of the hands of kids? This is the one time of year in which children are excited to open up new toys that they can enjoy playing with on Christmas day. To be sure you get a gift that can fill your child with joy, you may want to check out this list of gift ideas for the children in your life. This way you won’t be robbing them of toys and you’ll be buying something that they may actually like. Who would even think about robbing children of toys on Christmas day anyway?

Grinches, that’s who. It seems like our police are doing what they can to turn this great city into a toyless Whoville. What’s next, NYPD, our roast beast?

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