Prime Minister and part time authoritarian dictator Scott Morrison has today handed himself in to police, after realising that his proposed ban on protests and boycotts is technically a boycott.

“While it may seem harsh to throw myself in jail over something like this, we have to think about the bigger picture here,” announced an emotional Morrison this morning while carrying a large placard reading ‘ban the boycott’. “The fact is this boycott ban would effect the already faltering economy if it went into effect and climate change went unabated until our farms are thrown into permanent drought and other countries top buying the coal we decided to make the core pillar of our economy instead of diversifying while we still had the chance. I can’t simply stand by and see someone damage the economy like that for their own selfish interests.”

Scott remains at large at the time of reporting, due to all the Federal police being too busy raiding ABC journalists for exposing highly classified war crimes