This is a video of a goldfish that has trouble maintaining its buoyancy. So what did it's owner make? "A fishstick?" Good heavens no! They made it a little life preserver so it can still swim around instead of laying at the bottom of the tank all day being sad. The fish has to be hand-fed to ensure it gets enough to eat, but besides that lives a pretty normal existence. Which, for a goldfish, is basically swimming around all day forgetting what you were just doing three seconds ago. My dream world. That thing about goldfish memory isn't true though. They actually have memory-spans of more than three months and can tell the difference in colors, shapes and sounds. Think about that the next time you're tapping on their tank calling them stupid! This jerk shows his face in here in the next three months and I'm gonna kill him. After that, he could be my father for all I know.

Hit the jump for two videos, the second of which is the lil fish being fed.

Thanks to the best Evil Ares I've ever known!, who is also the worst Evil Ares I've ever known because he's the ONLY Evil Ares I've ever known.