THE creators of a tedious, badly designed computer game are hurriedly adding gratuitous sex and violence.

He feels edgy now

It is hoped that sales of the generic sci-fi adventure Red Sector 9 will be boosted by deliberately controversial new elements such as dismembering space nuns with a laser chainsaw that has the phrase fuck off written on its blade.

Programmer Tom Logan said: Red Sector 9 – now retitled Red Sector 9: Violent Soldier – sucks, so were hoping people will buy it just to find out if you really do run amok with a flame thrower in a cattery.

We should also get some free publicity from the games extremely dodgy attitude toward female characters, who have immense breasts and get chained up a lot.

Some of our testers said the game feels a bit contrived now, but I think its entirely possible there could be a malevolent vagina floating around in space.

Daily Mail journalist Donna Sheridan said: I know nothing about computer games and hate doing research, so this is the perfect story for me.

Apparently you get points for spying on your own mum in the shower. Or maybe that was a dream I had last night. Either way, it is disgusting.”