I suggest calling back and apologizing for your lack of empathy. (This doesn’t mean you were a bad person!) With close relationships, it’s important to explore when we drop the ball and why. You may have thought you were being kind by pretending everything was fine. Clearly, she felt differently. What’s the point of a best friend if not to hash out misunderstandings to do better next time?

Image Credit... Christoph Niemann

Another Money Problem

A good friend attempted to repay his $200 cash debt with 10 $20 scratch-off lottery cards. When I objected to this form of repayment, he became angry, saying he was giving me a chance to win many times the original loan. I returned the cards to him and wished him good luck. Since then, I haven’t heard from him or received any repayment. What should I have done?

J.B.

Not to blame the victim here, but I wonder if by returning the lottery cards and summarily wishing your friend good luck, you somehow signaled that his debt — and your friendship — were canceled.

Or maybe he’s just a deadbeat. In any event, try to be clear when expressing complaints: “I can’t pay my student loans with lottery tickets. Please repay me in cash.” (Maybe text him that message today?)

Too Late to Apologize?

My husband and I were introduced by a mutual friend: his ex-girlfriend who had been my college roommate. When we started dating, a year after she introduced us, we both wrote letters to her saying we were sorry for hurting her, but that we wanted to maintain our friendship if that was possible. She ignored our letters. Now, a few years later, we are married and expecting a child. I want to reach out again to make amends. I am still sorry for hurting her and would like to apologize. I also love my husband and don’t regret our choice to be together. Any recommendations?