Fernando Alonso is at the centre of every rumour known to man. He’s going to Red Bull, McLaren, Lotus and Williams and, because he hasn’t denied being on the grassy knoll in Dallas in 1963, he is also thought to have been one of 13 shooters who assassinated President John F Kennedy. He may also have been responsible for the sinking of the Rainbow Warrior in Auckland in 1985 on the basis that he once wore flippers.

Honestly, the stories one hears about Alonso… and it does not seem to matter if he denies them because it seems that few believe a word he says since the McLaren revelations of 2007 and, of course, Singapore 2008. I do actually feel sorry for the bloke sometimes, but as a farmer or a priest will tell you, you reap what you sow in life.

Anyway, whether he is believed or not, he is respected as a great driver and he continues to show his extraordinary abilities at each and every Grand Prix. He does not let the slow Ferrari get him down, he just drives the wheels off it, never gives up and currently lies fourth on the Drivers’ World Championship in z car that is good for ninth or 10th. The fact that he has still won only two World titles is astonishing, given his ability, although he has been rather good at being in the wrong place at the right time.

In theory, he’s going nowhere next year because of his Ferrari contract, but, as a pal of mine remarked recently, an F1 contract has as much value as toilet paper in this day and age. McLaren would now love to have him (ain’t that ironic) and the only team that seems not to want him that much is the one he currently drives for. Down Maranello way, they are into five-year plans and five years from now Alonso will be 38 and, according to F1 thinking, he will be over the hill.

He has been talking of late of buying a professional cycling team and is currently waiting to hear if he has been granted a licence by the Union Cycliste Internationale (the FIA without the horsepower). The funny thing is that I am now hearing the Alonso may also be considering buying himself a share of a Formula 1 team, for investment purposes. There is some sound logic in this as some of the teams have all you need but simply lack the money to run properly. If the running budgets can be found then there are assets to be had cheaply at the moment. F1 will eventually wake up to real world realities that there must be budget capping of some sort and when that happens the teams will all rise in value in dramatic fashion. It would be guessing to say which team might interest Ferdy, but the teams looking for help include Lotus (for which he won two World Championships), Sauber, Caterham and Marussia. He might also be interested in Toro Rosso as the word is that after five years being co-owned by Red Bull and Aabar, the time is coming when options must be taken up or dropped. Being a business partner with Dietrich Mateschitz might be a smart move for Fernando, and might perhaps one day open the door to a Red Bull drive…

Then again he might soon be arrested for Dallas 1963, so one must not take rumours too seriously…

(Oh, and for those of you who do not have a sense of humour, the JFK stuff is a joke, so please don’t write in saying that Fernando was not born until 1981.)