BRATTY students are being unfairly branded bullies by parents and teachers who do not know the meaning of the word, according to a Victorian educator.

Peter Hockey, head of Beaconhills College junior school, said the word "bully" was overused and victims of schoolyard nastiness should harden up.

"Rather than just say, 'Well that person is a bully and that person is a victim', we need to empower children to stand up and confront these people who are being nasty," Mr Hockey said.

"I don't like to say 'toughen up', but they need to be taught to argue back or stand up for what they believe is right, explain themselves more fully or use humour or whatever other skills they have."

The veteran educator said the correct definition of a bully was "a person who is habitually cruel to others who are weaker".

Mr Hockey said he had only encountered a handful of bullies in his 36 years of teaching.

"I have taught many children who have been nasty to others, but these children are not bullies," Mr Hockey said.

"They are very often simply being nasty because they have been hurt by a situation, or they are being selfish or are responding to an earlier problem."

He said most "nasty" children could be taught to be nice, while bullies were born bad.

"To label a child a bully who has made the mistake of being nasty is wrong," Mr Hockey said. "Nasty and naughty behaviour is fixable and we must educate all not to engage in this sort of behaviour."

Parents Victoria executive officer Gail McHardy rejected Mr Hockey's calls for victims of schoolyard harassment to learn to deal with it themselves.

"We need to recognise that some children are stronger than others and it is never as simple as telling them to come up with ways to cope with unacceptable behaviour, whether we are calling it bullying or whatever else," Ms McHardy said.

"It is important for children to speak to someone immediately rather than let it fester or try to deal with it themselves. We don't want them to become vigilantes."

Ms McHardy also rejected Mr Hockey's claim that the word "bully" was overused.

"Call it what you want; the end result can be devastating to children," she said.