Good afternoon ladies! So today I figured was as good a day as any to share my experience when it comes to divorce. Also a little bit of my opinion too lol! So I have been Divorced for about 8 years now. Obviously I’m remarried now and as happy as can be. This was God’s path for me for sure!

The first thought in most people’s mind when they are in an unhappy marriage is Divorce. Whether you dread it or you feel that everyone you know will be so disappointed in you for not being able to keep it all together. Whatever it may be that hold’s you back from actually doing what is best for you. At least thats what went through my mind. I didn’t want anyone to look at me as a failure. I didn’t want my children to go through all the what-ifs that I knew would be inevitable because I am a child of divorce as well. So I knew they would grow up always wondering what if mom and dad were still together. I knew they would hate the back and forth between parents. The biggest what-if of them all being what if its my fault? This decision was the hardest one I have made to date for them and for me. But, at the end of the day it was the best decision I could of made for me and for them.

If this is something your feeling I encourage you to follow your heart. Don’t listen to the comments of bystanders or family even. More than one of my family members wanted me to stay and work it out for the kids. That just wasn’t possible in my situation and maybe it’s also not for you. Only you can decide that, you’re living it, they aren’t.

When It comes to my children it was tough, one of the toughest things they have been through maybe. They were all pretty young and didn’t understand at first. But, I can say there is something I will forever be proud of in the situation we found ourselves in their dad and I decided we needed to try our best to sit them down and explain to them why we were doing what we were doing. No we did not use the word divorce with them. We just said mommy and daddy will always love each other in a way but, we can no longer live together. So you will live with mom during the week and see dad on the weekends. Which is how it was at the beginning. That later changed. My daughter being the oldest didn’t understand at all. She was very confused for a long time. It was a constant struggle with her at the beginning. She always asked why we couldn’t all be together. All the questions I knew would come. I did my best to just be patient with all her outbursts. That obviously had a lot to do with such a big change in her life. She is now 15 and struggles with much more when it comes to having separate households. That is definitely for a different blog.

Everyday for the first year was rough. Especially since very soon after the separation the kids found out they were going to have another little brother from their dad and his then girlfriend. That was another very confusing time for them. Of course they were excited too. Who doesn’t love having a baby in the family. There was a lot of explaining though especially with the older two. They had only ever seen mom pregnant and in their little minds they thought the baby would still be mommies too. So that was a long process once the baby was born always explaining that it wasn’t my baby and couldn’t leave dad’s house and come to mine like they do. Our divorce was finalized the day after the baby was born. That is when they started going every other weekend instead of every weekend. So things got pretty normal for a little bit. They had more time with mom at home that they hadn’t had previously.

At this point I had already been dating and had a live in boyfriend (Mistake) lol! The kids liked him most days though. This is were I will tell you I wish I had waited. I wish I wouldn’t of given into being lonely. For my kids and myself. We would of been better off. I brought someone into their life that wasn’t their parent and let them help parent them when none of us were ready. So I extremely advise you not to make that mistake like I did. However I did think I loved him and for the most part so did the kids. They talked about him quite a bit after it didn’t work out. Especially since he had two children that spent every other weekend with us at that point and they were close to their ages. So they didn’t get to see them after we broke up either. But, we did love them so it definitely wasn’t all bad. I just wish I would have waited. Kind of the same wish as when I got pregnant as a teen lol! Its a cycle and I was just following the same path I always had ya know.

I’m realizing this is very long so I will stop right there for now. There will be much more to come! This is only Part 1 of my crazy after divorce. I can say if it had never happened at all I wouldn’t be where I am today. So I regret nothing because I would never have found my ONE without going gGoing through all it.