Stop wearing high heels. Stop wearing high heels. I know they make your ass stick out, but if you have a good ass I already know it. I can look at you for one instant and then mentally flip your ass from a normal standing position in flats to any angle I want in my own little Lawnmower Man virtual reality. Don’t worry if you have a little cheese hang under there, I know it goes away when you bend over slightly. Because I am always studying every woman’s ass I have ever seen and watching it move into various positions and I can completely do the airbrushing for you. Don’t worry about it. I still want to maul that shit like bear smacking a salmon out of the river.

And I know they make you look tall, but tall chicks are hideous and disgusting; nobody wants them. All men want a tiny petite chick who looks like a twelve year old girl and anyone who says he doesn’t is lying… all men want a woman who looks as young as possible and absolutely nothing else matters. Dudes who are into tall chicks are gay.