Fightmaster is the kind of name we all wish we were born with. And, the irony is that it's the one name that will prevent you from ever having to actually fight anybody. If you ever get into a scuffle at a bar, before the fists start swinging, people would pull the other guy back shouting, "No you fool! He's Max Fightmaster! Think about this for a second!"

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Max Fightmaster. Holy shit.

The Man:

Look, we know you probably don't believe us but we promise you there is a real, actual guy called Max Fightmaster. He was mentioned on CBS News in an article about the Iraq war.

We know, it blew our damn minds, as well. You think, sure, he's talking to the news and he just makes up a fake name, like the e-mail Bill O'Reilly read on the air from "Jack Mehoffer." But no, we looked him up and he's a real guy. He also has a MySpace, although it's set to private, denying casual browsers the insight into what Fightmaster gets up to day-to-day. However, we like to think it's probably something completely fucking awesome.

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Does He Live Up to It?

Max Fightmaster is also in the army, or at least he was in 2003. The awesome part? His rank: Staff Sergeant.

This means Max's full name and title is STAFF SGT. MAX FIGHTMASTER. That is the manliest name on the planet. Hands down, bar none. Just saying that name will put hair on your chest. Even if you're a woman.

Girls, please don't say Max's name out loud.

The Only Way It Could Have Been Manlier:

Where do you go when your name is already Staff Sgt. Max fucking Fightmaster?

Oh, wait, there you go. Just make "Fucking" an official part of the name. We think it's almost impossible to say the name without it anyway.