Thought to affect at least two per cent of Australian women, it's more common among women who are saving themselves for marriage, says Silver. It is also commonly seen in women, who due to religious or cultural reasons, have developed an overriding fear of penetrative sex. "To suggest that if you tried to be a virgin you are going to end up with vaginismus wouldn't be right," she said. "It's mainly fear of intercourse." It's an opinion shared by Dr Jules Black, an internationally noted obstetrician and gynaecologist who specialises in sexual health. He describes how women brought up in restrictive religious environments can develop unhealthy attitudes toward sex. "Before marriage they use every negative adjective to describe sex: dirty, filthy, mortal sin, etcetera. But in marriage it is beautiful, it's God's gift," he said. "They believe this stuff, they believe that sex is grubby on the morning of their wedding day, but by evening the earth will move and fireworks will go off." More serious than a lacklustre sexual experience, women who suffer from vaginismus often feel confused and inadequate, which only compounds the disorder's psychological underpinning.

"This is the most extreme sexual problem because they're not having no orgasm with sex or whatever, they're not having sex. It's a devastating problem. And many of these women will say, 'What did I save myself for?'" said Black, adding that even a slight case can soon manifest as something more enduring. "You don't need to have a physical problem for long before it develops into a psychological problem." Though the issue is common, many women are reluctant to seek treatment and those that do are often steered in the wrong direction by doctors who aren't educated on the subject. Black says a third of his patients who have come seeking help with vaginismus have been previously misdiagnosed by unskilled or unscrupulous physicians who suggest they undergo a hymenectomy - or Fenton's procedure – to widen the entrance to the vagina. He also suggests that some specialists are even partially responsible for it in the first place, citing how a heavy-handed bedside manner can lead to long-lasting insecurities. "The things we say to a girl, the things we do. If someone says during a vaginal examination, 'Oh, gee, you're small down here. You're going to have trouble down here when you want to have babies,' some women store that away and talk themselves into it," he said. While a religious upbringing is a common thread found in many cases, it's not the only link. Women subjected to sexual abuse can develop similar problems, as can individuals who have developed a fear of childbirth.

"Some women have a fear of childbirth, primarily due to the pain," said Black. "Out of that group, I've seen women come to see me whose mothers have died giving birth to them. Think about that algorithm: sex, pregnancy, childbirth, death. You've got the devil's job in psychotherapy to get them away from this notion of sex and death." Still, both Black and Silver stress how treatable the condition is. The first step towards treating the problem, according to Silver, is to help an individual become more knowledgeable and comfortable about her body. She says that while many of her more religious patients are intelligent and educated they're not always so well informed when it comes to their own bodies. "Vaginismus is reasonably easy to overcome the more they understand," she said. "I suggest that they get a mirror and look at their vagina because many of these women have never seen it before ... I treat by counselling, education, anxiety reduction, pelvic floor exercises and retraining of pelvic floor muscles. It may take some months of physiotherapy sessions and practice at home but the success rate of therapy is very high when couples commit to treatment." Black adds that there is no problem with virginity in and of itself, as long as the individual is comfortable with her body. He suggests that women who have decided to wait until marriage try not to put so much pressure on themselves. Loading

"The worst advice is to actually try on the wedding night," he said. "With all of the stress leading up to the big day, with the guest lists, catering, what have you, it can sometimes be best to leave it to the next day. Though, of course, not many people take on this advice. Just understand that there's going to be some fumbling and it may not yield all the great pleasures that are possibly there from the outset. And if there is a problem help is available from ethical professionals."