"Seed" and "Soil"



All photographs by Leslie Weems

I am publishing my new short story collection "Soil" inside a fully-functional USB rubber vagina that holds 4 gigabytes of data storage."Soil" is the companion volume to last year's "Seed," which I published inside a miniature USB dildo. All of the stories on "Soil" were originally published on the blog "This Rocketship Will Crash." Until now, it has not been possible for your computer to have sex with a different computer, a portable music device, a smartphone, or a gaming console. I would like to change this."Soil" contains ten short stories in every possible ebook format. "Soil" also contains audio versions of these short stories, and a book block and cover that will allow bibliophiles to print paperback versions of "Soil" at an on-demand printer, like an Espresso Book Machine. The stories on "Soil" include:1. "Fear Boys With Dolls" -- a terrifying tour of a high-tech sex doll collection2. "Dinner Pro" -- a date with a dinner prostitute3. "The Super Secret International American Time Box" -- a time traveler takes hostages at a Whataburger4. "Doolers" -- revolvers at dawn for a lady's honor5. "The Goods" -- the importance of seducing the parents of your fiancee6. "Tower of Silence" -- how to get rid of a dead friend's useless possessions in one day7. "We Have All Been Hurt by Television Actors" -- a sad Tom Arnold scat-sex story8. "Gene Smoke" -- a criminal explains how to become irresistible to women9. "Famous People Don't Care" -- a meditation on celebrity, coffee, and customer service10. "How to Get Laid for Zero Dollars and Zero Cents" -- how to get laid, without spending any money, in NYCHere is a free sample of one of the stories in the collection called "How to Get Laid for Zero Dollars and Zero Cents":My first short story collection, "Seed," is also available in a new, limited edition sculpture. This new edition places "Seed" inside a statue of "Don Quixote," which serves as a provocative display stand.The dildo comes off, allowing you to plug it into your computer."Seed" has all the same extras as "Soil." "Seed" also contains live music and recordings by Brooklyn's very own DJ Goodman Carter. "Seed" is available in many colors."Seed" also contains 10 short stories originally published on the blog "This Rocketship Will Crash." These stories include:1. "Oh Boy" -- a couple experiments with video-on-video recording2. "Fuckchanged"-- self-inflicted extreme body modification gone horribly right3. "Always Rape the Last Coke Machine" -- Helen Keller/Anne Sullivan slash fiction4. "A Tense Situation and a Chainsaw" -- all you need to get a job in today's business world is a good resume and a chainsaw5. "The Famous and Expensive Breathing Technique" -- the greatest mortician of all time comes out of retirement6. "The Polecat"" -- how to make the most of a bad job7. "Leaner" -- how to fuck a crowded subway car8. "Role-Playing Game" -- dungeons, dragons, and betrayal9. "Wedding Toast" -- what can a couple do on their wedding night to make it special, if they have already done everything?10. "Yes, We Have Those" -- a story about dildos with soulHere is a free sample from "Seed" called "Always Rape the Last Coke Machine." Don't worry: it is not about rape. It is about worker's rights and having sex with Helen Keller.If you are interested in the intellectual framework behind my decision to publish my short story collections inside genitals, I wrote a long essay about it called "Wunderkammer Seeds: A Fantasia." The essay does not explain why I chose genitals "per se," but I think digital human genitals are the perfect objects to commemorate the subject matter of these collections.I also think it is important that my two short story collections be able to mate. Since no one really gets paid for short fiction anymore, it is important to have a good time.But mating these short story collections is only part of the fun.Since these collections are USB flash drives, people's computers can also now fuck each other.For some reason, the height of "computer design" is to create a clean and sterile device that lacks passion, sexuality, intrigue, and personality. I am opposed to this. Computers should be a reflection of humanity, not a replacement for human contact.I feel that digital sculptures are the perfect marriage between classical aesthetics and the information age.I encourage other musicians, filmmakers, photographers, and sequential artists to sell digital media in sculpture form. All digital media eventually ends up on the internet for free anyway, and a sculpture is a slight physical barrier that privileges early adopters, also giving fans a physical token of your appreciation."Seed" and "Soil" each cost $30, but they are currently only available in Austin, Texas. In a month, they will also be available in New York City. I am accepting NYC pre-orders for "Soil," but not for "Seed."For media inquiries, or if you would like to purchase a copy of "Seed" or "Soil," please get in touch with me at: miraclejones@fictioncircus.comIf you do not live in Austin or New York, and you would still like a copy of "Seed" or "Soil," they are both available as ebooks at Smashwords and Amazon for $4. I feel that $4 is a fair price for digital copies of these collections that are not published inside sex toys.If you are looking to read something for free, the first part of my seven volume series "The Fold" will be available for free on Smashwords for the next three months. "Shifting," the sequel to "Sharing," will come out in September.God willing and the creek don't rise, part 3 will come out next summer.Cheers, thanks, and all the fucking best!