Contains spoilers for To All the Boys I've Loved Before and Terrace House: Opening New Doors.



Fictional Nice Boyfriends are not a new thing. Let’s just say that upfront. Think Charles Bingley (pleasant countenance, easy, unaffected manners). Think Colin Firth saying bumblingly to Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones’ Diary: "I like you very much—just as you are." Prince Charming is a trope for a reason, being handsome, brave, and prone to rescuing maidens.

Jason Lewis as Smith Jerrod in Sex and the City Snap Stills/REX/Shutterstock

In Trainwreck, Bill Hader’s Aaron Conners is so sweet that, unlike all the chumps Amy Schumer’s messy heroine usually beds, he actually calls her for a second date (doesn’t hurt that he’s friends with LeBron James). Smith Jerrod is likely helping a Type A woman have nine orgasms right...now. And, somewhere out in middle America, Ben Wyatt and Jim Halpert are looking to camera in unison to roll their eyes at a sexist remark.



John Krasinski as Jim Halpert in The Office NBC

We love nice boyfriends, here defined as the regular guys who treat women like interesting people they delight in and also want to get to know outside of the bedroom. That’s as opposed to fuccbois, who won’t call you back and will also make a mean meme out of your worst Instagram photo and send it to all his group chats. Nice boyfriends understand what courtship is, and they get on with it. Nice boyfriends don’t think of women as games they have to win or outthink. Nice boyfriends have clear intentions for the future that involve you. And I’m not talking about marriage in 18 months here. I’m talking about literally next week: Do you want to get a calzone?

Peter Kavinsky (Noah Centineo) and Lara Jean Covey (Lana Condor) in To All the Boys I've Loved Before Netflix

The popularity of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before—and specifically the dreamy Peter Kavinsky (Noah Centineo)—heralds a resurgence of the Nice Boyfriend. And more than just A Nice Boyfriend, Peter Kavinsky is an Actively Amazing Boyfriend.

What does that mean? He’s not desirable just because he’s not particularly terrible—we’re not talking “ ” here. A Peter Kavinsky is so good at being a boyfriend that grown women have all but named him the new boyfriend benchmark. Even though he's fictional. His appeal stems from being woke (Sixteen Candles, so problematic!), family-friendly (moves the popcorn out of the way during a pillow fight with younger sister), and so thoughtful his brain is practically a separate person (gets Yakult from the Korean grocery store all the way across town). It doesn't hurt that actor Noah Centineo's Twitter account is full of cryptic romantic asides.

More than just A Nice Boyfriend, Peter Kavinsky is an Actively Amazing Boyfriend.

Nice Enough Boyfriends are, of course, still compelling. But just "nice" doesn't really cut it anymore. Take Crazy Rich Asians’ Nick Young (Henry Golding), who is handsome, smart, and sweet. He seems to treat his girlfriend Rachel (Constance Wu) just fine; when jealous acquaintances place a dead fish in her holiday suite, he’s apologetic and commiserates. But he's not an Actively Amazing Boyfriend, because Rachel is totally shocked upon landing in the cut-throat social circles of high-society Singapore; she'd have been so much better off if he’d just told her that he’s 1) super rich, 2) super eligible, and 3) a member of an extraordinarily frightening family who have very particular ideas about who he should date. Nice in this case = Conflict avoidant = Could use some work.

Netflix

Not that Peter Kavinsky is perfect. He has his growing pains too—TATBILB is a rom-com, so miscommunication and mistakes, like not telling Lara Jean that he and Gen aren’t together anymore, are the name of the game—but he always comes back from a strike-out with a winner. (Hello, “You were never second best.")

As well as being easy on the eyes, emotionally available, observant, and good company, the thing that truly defines a Peter Kavinsky is that he could have anyone. Peter is the hottest guy in the room. When he addresses a corridor full of high school students, they listen. He's a lacrosse jock and dated Gen, the hot, mean blonde girl who, in any traditional teen drama, would be the homecoming queen. In fact, he's trying to win Gen back when he ends up falling for Lara Jean, the weirdo who writes up fake relationship contracts and pours out her crushes onto paper. (To be clear, it me.) It's so incredibly satisfying.

Netflix

Does it ever happen in real life? Not in my experience. But on Japanese reality TV? Yes.

Terrace House’s Shion Okamoto won the hearts of the Japanese reality show’s viewers, and even its hard-to-please commentators, with his direct communication style and caring nature. (Hot!) The show is built around gentle everyday drama—nothing happens except the contestants' regular old lives—and Shion's personality and love journey shone in the midst of it.

The object of the 22-year-old model's affection, sweet ice hockey dynamo Tsubasa Sato, receives plenty of signs that he's interested. When we meet her, Tsubasa is working towards a big championship, and Shion regularly checks in with her about her progress. It's obvious she's anxious about the outcome, so he ventures to a temple to buy her a good luck charm (twice!). In a show where elaborate dates are important markers of someone’s romantic intentions, he asks her on several, and during each one, he makes sure to lay the groundwork for a future hang. “Watching this can change a person,” observed Reina Triendl, one of the show’s commentators. That's some Peter Kavinsky–level play.

Their dynamic would be swoony no matter what. But it probably wouldn't have had such an effect on viewers if Shion himself weren't such hot property. Shion, a model, picked the cheerful, friendly athlete Tsubasa, despite there being two glamorous, extroverted models in the house who also demonstrated interest in him. At one point, Tsubasa expresses some doubt over whether she’s the right person for him, because she believes he’s too good for her: “He’s so perfect. I don’t come close,” she says. “We do go out a lot together, but I feel bad that I’m the one by his side.” It’s heartbreaking; the belief that a hot guy will pick the most conventionally appealing woman in the room is so widespread that even Terrace House’s six judges don’t think Shion’s interest in Tsubasa will survive the arrival of Mayu Koseta, a swimsuit model who is so into him she basically purrs.

Netflix

Despite Mayu's charms, in the very next episode, Shion is presenting Tsubasa with a bouquet of flowers and telling her he likes her—and, wonder of wonders, says he doesn't want to rush her response because he knows she’s concentrating on the big match. “For the first time in the history of mankind,” said chastened commentator Yoshimi Tokui, “man was victorious over breasts.”

Objectively speaking, it's not like the on-screen Lara Jean (Lana Condor) or Tsubasa aren't attractive; they most definitely are. But given the outsize appreciation of Peter Kavinsky's charms, it seems there's a hunger for someone like him—and that there aren't many dudes like him around. Apparently, it's so rare to find a good-looking, considerate, fun guy that this made-up high-schooler is being treated like some kind of holy-grail honey.

Per Condor herself, though, isn't that kind of a low bar? "You guys should already be Peter Kavinsky," she said in an interview with ELLE.com. "I'm happy they have someone to model that you should treat women like this, but they should already have been treating women like this."

That's why he feels special. Sure, it might have taken a hugely revealing letter about her giant crush on him and a surprise kiss in the middle of a running track to get his attention in the first place, but he sees Lara Jean. Even though she keeps her thoughts to herself and isn't the most popular girl in school, he chooses her. He can see what they have in common, her relatable anxieties, and the past she's constantly grappling with, and he wants her. And the daydreamy fantasy of Peter Kavinsky is that if we want him—the handsomest, nicest, most thoughtful guy around—we might get to choose him, too.

Estelle Tang Senior Editor Estelle Tang is the former senior editor of ELLE.com.

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