The school amazed itself with resilience and resolve, most reflected by its victory last month over more than 600 entrants in a national contest for the school that best exhibited an ability to rally its students and community. The more pressing question was whether students would acknowledge — and learn from — the missteps of their friends.

New Jersey law prohibits drivers younger than 18 from carrying more than one passenger, unless accompanied by a parent or guardian. Brenner, the driver of the Explorer, was a provisional driver and the police report said that five of the boys were not wearing seat belts when the vehicle swerved right to avoid slowing traffic it encountered after coming over the crest of a hill, causing it to overturn.

“It does become an opportunity to get their attention,” Coffey said, noting that the school had reached out to its students by establishing programs in safe driving and more recently launched a campaign against driving and texting. But Coffey said there was a fine line between education and denunciation, and it was one that he was determined not to let people cross.

“These were wonderful kids, from really good families,” said Coffey, the father of two boys — Matt, 23, and Ty, an eighth-grade center on his way to Mainland in the fall, hoping to play for his father, as did his brother. “And what happened here could happen anywhere. It’s every parent’s worst fear.”

Having realized the worst of it, Coffey and the parents of the Mainland team, known as the Mustangs, signed a card and mailed it to New Oxford High School in Hamilton Township, Pa., after five students, all soccer players, died in an early December accident. Included was an offer to share what the Mainland families had learned, and what best helped them cope.

“To get through it, we had to become part of each other’s lives in a much deeper way,” Coffey said. “That’s where we’re at right now, still trying to figure out how you move on.”

Coffey’s football career at Clemson University ended after a car accident, and he has lived with the knowledge that it could have been worse. He was about to be a fifth-year backup running back and special-teams player when he approached an intersection one summer day. A stop sign was obscured by foliage, he said. He escaped the collision with a badly broken leg — albeit one that required several operations, two years of recovery and ultimately hip replacements that have left him with a slight limp.