ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Two mates fought it out this afternoon down at the Gelded Seahorse after one of them claimed to have never lost faith in Mitch Marsh while the other is said to have always liked him.

After the boss called tools down at lunch, the two advertising executives and their long-suffering creatives made their way down to Galhoolies Irish Inn on Latten Road in the Old City District.

As the Furphy flowed and the talk swayed to and fro between the getting a novated lease on a new 3-Series and how much of a letdown Cannes was this year, it inevitably made its way to the Fifth Test in London overnight.

Polarising all rounder, Mitch Marsh, had an absolute blinder with the ball last night in an absolute stellar return to form.

That’s despite being the whipping boy for our Test woes for a number of years.

“I never lost faith in Mitch,” said one of the chino boys who looked like he’d been poured into his two-size-too-small button up.

The other one took exception to that remark.

“That’s bullshit, you were calling for him to be put out to pasture when we played India last,” said the fair-haired, bearded one with the pinecone tits.

With that, the argument began to escalate. Bar staff were now aware of it and our reporter, who was in the process of losing large sums of money on Trackside during his lunch break, watched on as a shirt got grabbed.

Some inaudible yelling later and the pinecone titted man’s head snapped back and he stumbled.

He fell back on the floor and the chino boy lept on him, punching his head like a speedbag as it bounced violently on the floor.

As the creatives tried to break it up, chino boy headbutted the now unconscious cone tits.

“I never lost faith in Mitch Marsh! You fucking prick! Let me go!”

Police arrived a short time later and capiscum sprayed half the bistro and Tatts area trying to stop the violence. They later tased the wrong guy first then deleted the footage off their bodycams.

More to come.

