Carla Thompson is an emerging technology analyst and the CEO and Founder of Sharp Skirts, a network for women entrepreneurs. You can find her on Twitter @carlat.

The song-and-dance has been the same for years, but the drum beat lately is deafening: Where are the women entrepreneurs and their startups? Why aren’t they funded? Are their businesses successful? Ad infinitum. These are all questions worth asking, to be sure, and there will continue to be a need to revisit them from time to time. But doesn’t it feel like we’re spinning endlessly in this particular hamster wheel? It's time to change the conversation.

The reality is that women entrepreneurs are everywhere, in every industry and from every career phase. And they’re eager to coalesce. Since launching a company exclusively for them five months ago, I’ve had trouble keeping up. They’re coming out of the woodwork to talk and network, many of them aggressive in their desire to connect with fellow entrepreneurs and have real conversations about building their businesses.

So the question we need to be asking right now is, "Why do we perceive there are so few of them?" And it’s time to move this discussion out of the comments section and into the business pages.

The Problem

There's no doubt that outright bias still exists, but there are so many ways to work around it now. The real issue is perception vs. reality.

A main cause of this incorrect perception is the way we ask questions. Let’s say you’re a woman thinking of launching a tech startup. As you’re thinking through your business plan and company creation, you understandably go looking for resources online. When your initial search for “women tech startups” returns countless headlines like, “Addressing the Lack of Women Leading Tech Startups,” you’re likely going to feel at a disadvantage before you’ve even started.

While researching the competitive landscape for my company, I found that a large majority of websites targeted at "working women" are littered with motherhood references, ads for envelope-stuffing "home-based businesses," and fashion tips. There’s perhaps nothing more disheartening as an entrepreneur than having your ideas belittled, no matter your gender. When you’ve forsaken sleep, food, and time with loved ones to build a company, the last thing you need when looking for resources is a bunch of diaper ads, or worse, an article saying you don’t exist and have no hope of being funded.

But despite this disheartening media and marketing-spun perception, real numbers certainly exist to support a more positive outlook. A February 2010 study by Illuminate Ventures titled "High-Performance Entrepreneurs: Women in High-Tech" takes a decidedly different view of this issue, and I encourage you to download the full report. Predicting that “women entrepreneurs are poised to lead the next wave of growth in global technology ventures,” Illuminate’s study found that:

Women-owned or led firms are the fastest growing sector of new venture creation, representing nearly 50% of all privately held businesses.

Women-owned businesses are more likely to survive the transition from startup to established company.

The number of U.S. software patents held by women has increased 45-fold since 1985; three times the national average.

Women currently make up more than 30% of the technology workforce, but receive less than 10% of venture funding.

The numbers are there, and the biases are becoming less powerful. So what now?

The Solution

The solution lies in an old truism: If you don’t like the answers, change the questions. We need a fundamental shift in the conversation around women entrepreneurs and women in business overall. We need opportunities to ask the questions that matter about the companies we’re building. We need answers that spark discussions from women who’ve been there. We need brainstorms around innovative ideas that will eventually turn into companies. In short, women need what any entrepreneur needs: support, ideas, energy, creativity, and answers. And you don’t have to paint it pink or make it heart-shaped to appeal to us. (Really, please don’t.)

Imagine what would result if we replaced every "Where are the Women" article with something weightier — perhaps an examination of why some women are less inclined to sell themselves and their businesses, out of fear of being viewed as egoists. Maybe we need to look at all those software patents cited above and how they’ve affected key sectors, or explore the rapid growth of female entrepreneurs and what effect its having on business overall.

Now imagine like-minded women gathering online and off to discuss these issues and share their experience toward a goal of enriching all. If we took our collective knowledge, energy, experience, and motivation, shared it and built on it, we’d be able to move the world.

The number of organizations that have emerged in recent years — to encourage, foster, develop, and sustain women-owned businesses — is overwhelming. We need to establish a more central repository for these, so women looking for resources can easily find communities in which to coalesce. We're out there. We simply need to find each other more effectively.

I’m a woman. And I’ve started a business. And I know at least 500 more like me. I’m betting you do too.

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Image courtesy of iStockphoto, Yuri_Arcurs