First, a note to the few self-proclaimed alpha-Males who clicked into this post simply because they can’t wait to swing their dicks around in the comments, touting whatever “system” they use to bed as many women as possible. Shut your pie holes. Here’s why:

Believe it or not, there are plenty of guys out there whose ultimate life goals don’t include ejaculating as often as possible. This isn’t about that. Sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you say it. Those who say “Dude you just need to get confident and stop being a pussy” fail miserably in the delivery department when it comes to this topic.

Second, this is written from a heterosexual perspective, but plenty should carry over between the orientations. You certainly don’t have to be a straight male to fall into the “out of my league” trap.

Now, on with it.

#1. It doesn’t do you or her any good to feel this way.

Guys who fall into the “out of my league” trap have probably already told themselves this. But it’s worthwhile examining WHY it does nobody any good to feel this way:

You make yourself look worse in her eyes. i.e. “My guy has zero confidence”

To her, you’re starting to sound like you think she’s a dope. Really. If you’re such a tool and she’s so great, what does that say about your impression of her judgement? It says you think she’s dumb.

You sound selfish to her. Thinking this way always turns the focus of the relationship back towards the person feeling inadequate. It sounds like they’re fishing for compliments, even if they’re not. Keep that in mind the next time you feel a bit of “she’s out of my league” starting to slip out. You wanna be that guy?

Again, the guys who honestly feel this way have almost certainly already had this conversation with themselves. So, onto something that’ll appeal more to the left side of the brain…

#2. Look around. This isn’t uncommon. In fact, it’s the norm.

Take comfort, ye who unfairly thinks himself of resembling a turd. You’re not alone. It’s ridiculous how many museum worthy masterpieces of womanhood are gliding around. There’s a Venus de Milo (or multiple) on every block. Yet, on this side of the gender aisle, the overwhelming majority of us are paint-by-number goofballs. They don’t call em’ the fairer sex for nothing. The fact is, the ratio of good looking women to good looking men on this planet is just plain unfair. It is good to be on team penis.

The key is to take what you have, and make the most of it. That’s the essence of attractiveness to many. That’s what “the sexy” is built upon for most.

Being born with great hair, a symmetrical face, and razor sharp cheekbones is like winning the lottery. Good for you, but it’s nothing to be proud of. You didn’t earn it. It was a gift from the gods & odds. We’re all dealt a genetic hand. It’s how well you play those cards that matters.

Do this by trying to get better, every day. In a big picture sense. While pursuing physical fitness is certainly part of the equation for most, biceps and triceps will only get you so far. Improve what’s going on between your ears every single day. And even though your heart and guts are located in other regions of your body, they’re controlled by that lump of mush behind your eyeballs. Make those things better. Brains, guts, heart. That’s what people find attractive.

Besides, from the neck up, your only real choice is to concentrate on that blob of grey matter between your ears. There’s not a whole lot you can do about what’s going on in front of them.

Top Photo Credit: John McClaverty