PAUL A. writes:

I sympathize with CH in the entry on “Pizza Hell.” I am a very good cook. I am called upon to cook for family gatherings and have been paid to cook for certain occasions. I can also sew to the extent of mending clothes and making minor alterations. I can clean – I used to own a cleaning business. I had a handyman business, and my own business is fixing things for a living. I’m 6’6″ and about 270 lbs, and have never been an interior decorator nor a hairdresser. I do all my work on my car. I have a master’s degree. I worked for two years as a wine buyer for an Italian restaurant. In short, I’m not a nancy-boy. Nor am I a smelly neanderthal. I’m fit, and not bad looking. I earn my own money, and take care of myself. I don’t need a woman, or anybody else. But I’d like one. And, I don’t have one. Heck, I’d like a woman who’d change my tire, if she don’t want to cook. I have to laugh about it. I can do everything and anything for myself, except provide myself a bit of feminine companionship, in all of its wonderful permutations. I am pleased that you are a housewife. I hope others can find their own spouse that they can depend upon. It is not a job to be filled with specific requirements. It is so much more, and we have lost sight of that.

Laura writes:

Thank you. And Merry Christmas!

— Comments —

Donal Graeme writes:

As Paul sympathizes with CH, I sympathize with him. I suspect that many Christian bachelors these days find themselves in a similar position. We know how to take care of ourselves, in fact we have to. Whether it be cooking, cleaning or maintaining a home, we have lived by ourselves for a while and have adapted accordingly. Not that we necessarily want to live this way, but that we find ourselves with little choice in the matter.

In particular, Paul’s mention of cooking really got to me. I am not a half-bad cook myself. However, I find most of my female colleagues have no cooking skills whatever. Many have openly admitted as such, and at least one praised her long-time boyfriend for being a good cook when she wasn’t. I’ve gotten some recognition in that areas as well by them. The sad truth is that I suspect this to be the norm in the present age. If I should actually ever marry, I rather fear that unless I find a wife overseas or from a Traditional Catholic community, I will more likely than not have to teach her to cook, because she won’t know how to do it herself. Other housekeeping skills might also need to be included in the lesson. Such are the times we live in.

Paul C. writes:

Oh my. Paul sounds like a male mate with a lot to offer a female, but he is not trying. I can identify with his situation in that I am “self-sufficient” also. Paul’s lonely situation is a direct result of choices he has made whether they are conscious or unconscious. I know from experience his condition is mostly a result of conscious decisions influenced by both conscious and unconscious ideas.

There are droves of women out there for Paul, if only he will try. Maybe he is not a hunk. But even if that were true, he still has no excuse. I know ugly men with nice-looking gals. Paul needs to step up. No excuses.

CH writes:

Paul seems to be a giant among men; both figuratively and literally! I really appreciated his words regarding ye olde Pizza Hell post.

Paul A. said: “I can do everything and anything for myself, except provide myself a bit of feminine companionship, in all of its wonderful permutations.”

Isn’t that the truth? I do not need a woman (I have the Pizza Industrial Complex for the food part), I want one. In the exact sense that Paul illustrated in the above sentence.

While I’ll gladly admit (with or without snark) I’m no cook, much like Paul, I do things for myself. Fix my own vehicle, provided the cost benefit to doing it myself is there. I take care of my own problems because I want to and because, should I meet someone, I don’t want the woman to feel as though she just inherited a babysitting job that involves a six foot tall man. Even when I fail miserably, I’ve grown up enough at my age to, much like Paul, to not need anyone else to help pick me up anymore. We aren’t islands but self-reliance is attractive. And so much easier to deal with than the needy. And, frankly, God expects it of me. Though I depend on Him for all matters of faith and find that He provides physically and emotionally for all my needs, as I’ve grown older, I find that His requirements of me as a man only increase, they do not decrease.

I myself sympathized with ST from the Pizza Hell post concerning what she wrote:

“I have read this over and over again, how men cannot find decent traditional women to share the life they have envisioned. Where were they when I entered my adult womanhood? The men I met and dated all wanted and expected me to work after marriage to help bring in the finances.”

ST, I state, for the record, I was one of those men when I got married. I am since divorced and I can see that so much of the trouble in my marriage fell on us because, quite simply, I did not follow God’s Law. I did not set up a traditional home with traditional ideas based on what I knew to be Truth. I expected my ex-wife to bring home half the income. It doesn’t matter now that I thought that this was the way things were supposed to be, nor does it matter that I bought the lies of feminism hook, line and sinker back then. Life requires recompense for dismissing Truth. God’s Law is immutable and demands consequences when we dismiss that Truth; even if we thought we were doing what was right, we still pay the price. It’s a hefty price that both my ex-wife and me paid for denying God’s traditional ways concerning how men and women deal with one another.

I find a dearth of incorrect information all over the internet about these things. Christians are no less guilty of the misinformation. I read about ‘game’ and pick up artistry, which really just boils down to a different form of envy and spite than feminism, the thing the pick up artist claims to hate. I read men trying, trying and trying harder to find their place as men. It’s a shame none of these ideas work toward our betterment as people, because game certainly can afford a man with too many sexual options he frankly doesn’t need to have in the first place. It’s much easier to pretend that sex equals recompense for slights in life, and follow a path that seems right to many men but, in the end, results in spiritual death. I’m afraid that men nor women will find what they need and desire from one another apart from God and His Law, which forms the penultimate basis for human interaction to be as He intended.

In the meantime, Merry Christmas to all here at Thinking Housewife.

Laura writes:

Thank you for your good wishes.

Let me respectfully suggest that you convert to Catholicism.

Perhaps you can help bring about a world where divorce is not considered a solution to marital problems. The cause of your divorce was the belief that divorce is a solution.