“All of our lives, we have pushed these lanes. This summer I believe we can end it. This roster change is not an accident. There are no accidents. We did not win TI3 by chance. I do not believe in chance. The third International. Three. When I see three lanes, three towers in a lane, three ranged barracks that can’t heal. I see these Lone Druid buffs I do not see coincidence, I see providence. I see purpose. I believe it our fate to be split push. It is our destiny. I believe this patch holds for us, for Alliance, the very meaning of our lives.”

————

Bulldog Wallace: Sons of Sweden! I am Bulldog Wallace.

Young Soldier: Bulldog Wallace is seven feet tall!

Bulldog Wallace: Yes, I’ve heard. Kills creeps by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he’d consume the Chinese with prophet ultimates from his eyes and necrobooks from his arse.

[Swedish army laughs]

Bulldog Wallace: I am Bulldog Wallace. And I see a whole army of my countrymen, here in defiance of 6.83 high ground defense. You have come to split push as Dota players. And split push you will. What will you do against five man deathball? Will you rat?

Veteran: No! We will stay in our base and defend. And we will live.

Bulldog Wallace: Yes, rat and you may die. Sit in base, and you’ll live. At least for a while. And dying in your base, many Roshans from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here as rats and tell our enemies that they make take our lives, but we will take their barracks first!

—————

[A]ragorn:

“Rat, Sons of Sweden. And I guess that one guy from France. I see in your eyes the same Fear that would break the arm of me. A day may come when our cour[A]ge fails, when we forsake our push and they break defend their high ground, but it is not this day. A thousand games of Chinese gods, when the age of Alliance comes crashing down. But it is not this day! This day we rat! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you push, Rats of the West!”

—————

Princess Lod[A]:

I regret that I am unable to present this request to you in person, as my team has fallen under attack and my mission to bring you to TI5 by way of direct invite has failed. Years ago, you served my cause in the International. Now I beg you to help me in my struggle against Team Empire and eventually against the Chinese Emperor. I have hidden key strategies vital to the survival of the Rebel [A]lliance into memes and copypastas that you can find while streaming. Stream and you’ll find them. You must see these strategies safely delivered to Seattle. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Admiral Bulldog. You’re my only hope.

—————-

Note: this passage contains spoilers from the fifth Song of Ice and Fire book, A Dance with Dragons

Lord Loda:

“Haters and false fans are all around me, Lord Akke. They infest this subreddit like roaches, and at night I feel them crawling over me.” Lord Loda of House Alliance’s fingers coiled into a fist, his hat nearly tumbling off his head. “My friend Henrik came to the TI4 as a defending champion. He ate Seattle’s clam chowder and he entered the booth to play Dota with his friends. And the other teams, they murdered him. Murdered, I say, and may the fans choke upon their memes and drama as our offlaner sat at home, a broken man drowning in a shallow stream. I tweet with Secret players, I joke with EG, I promise Alex Garfield that I’ll do a signing session with Artour… but never think that means I have forgotten. The north remembers, Akke. The north remembers, and this farce of shuffle is almost done. Bulldog is home.”





