People often say that conservatives aren’t funny. In all honestly, that’s probably true. We need to look no further than Stephen Colbert, a caricature of conservative talking heads who nonetheless inflamed prominent conservatives who really should have known better, to say nothing of the rubes at home who didn’t get the joke. But today I am here to inform you that the liberals who love to look down on their self-serious and oblivious counterparts are themselves capable of a galling lack of humor.

On Friday, I wrote a post about Bernie Sanders telling a crowd in Arizona that the Washington Redskins were a “very good football team” entitled “This Is the Most Wrong-Ass Shit Bernie Sanders Has Ever Said.” The joke, of course, was that although the Washington football team is not very good, I was exaggerating for comic effect the importance of Sanders’ statement while purposefully overlooking his actual point, which was that the Washington football team need not be named after a racial slur.

Most of the people who read that post got the joke, I think, because they did not directly get in touch to insult me. But others did, and they were not happy.

@jordansarge pandering to the DC elite? Maybe you're just using the hype of the election to score headlines? Absolutely ridiculous!!! — Bryan Charles (@Bryan5535) March 18, 2016

@jordansarge @Gawker Bernie doesn't need you if you are going to write stupid articles like this. — Matt Mootz (@mattattack82) March 18, 2016

@jordansarge step your game up. Don't be a tool. — HarryFoxSports LLC (@sugewhite94) March 18, 2016

@jordansarge you suck, what happened to quality reporting — Greg. (@jimbroslice24) March 19, 2016

@jordansarge keep sticking to the shallow end of the pool — Ethan Keller (@EthanKeller) March 20, 2016

I was also contacted via email. I’ve redacted the following fellow’s name, but his email address indicates he’s a public school teacher in a major American metropolis:

From: [redacted]

Subject: Bernie Sanders



I applaud you for having your email attached to your article. I do not believe any rational human being thinks Bernie was talking about the competitive level of the Washington Redskins. A rational person would intellectually believe Bernie was talking about the quality the Washington Redskins organization as an entire entity. Your article is off the mark.

Educationally, [redacted]

Others were more direct:

From: [redacted]

Subject: Just wanted to comment on an article You are terrible at your job. Please step back from the computer and throw it out the window. Thanks. Sent from my iPhone BTW you are bad and you should feel bad about almost everything you have ever written. Eat shit dumbass.

This guy says he isn’t a Bernie Bro but he still didn’t get it either way:

From: [redacted]

Subject: Not a Bernie supporter But man, that article you just came out with WAS NOT JOURNALISM. You should consider getting a new job..

There was also a whole subset of readers who instead wanted to inform me that the Washington football team is actually very good. For the greater good of the collective discourse, I’ve chosen for their cries to echo across the vast canyons of the internet unheard except for my tired ears.