Just minding my own busness on the flight from JFK out to Sacramento for tomorrows power hour with the Hard Factor boys at 730 PM eastern. when I was unexpectedley annoyed online by Mr Ben Shapiro.

Now if your not familiar with Ben hes like if Rush Limbaughs dog walked into a teleporter with Emily Post’s Ken doll in its mouth. He does some podcast where people make references and agree to disagree alot, and hes the kind of guy who defnitely used a roller suitcase to high school so he could bring his cats with him.

Well Ben just had to butt in on a inside joke between a friend and me about how I’m totally defnitely 5’9″ and then tried to leverage that into asking a Presedential Canidate onto his podcast.

Ben began asking patheticaly like a dork with negative amounts of couth, wether or not Pete Buttigieg would appear on his little Sunday podcast. As a podcaster myself this is a bad look for all of us. The only people who are aloud to begin sentences with the word “Heck” are Mitch Albom and me- when I’m making fun of Mitch Albom.

As we all know Ben is the king of challenging strangers online to debates well guess what Ben the shoes on the other foot now and I’m calling you out to a debate of my own. Me and you- rough N rowdy. No headgear. Mano A Mano. 5’9 guy to 5’9 guy. Ben, I’m a Quaker so it gives me no pleasure to do this, but sometimes you gotta turn oats into oatmeal and Im specificaly talking about your face.

Now hes running scared like a little b-word and retweeting a bunch of guys who look like if Scott Van Pelts nutsack played the evil vice president in Day After Tomorrow- in order to bury this exchange on the TL. We’ve got him running scared folks.

You like to allways talk about the great civlizations of the past Ben, and how we’re getting away from our roots well guess what your precous Greek society got taken over by the cool as hell rough and rowdy Spartans. In the Greek culture you care about so much you would of been executed for not fighting another town crier (equivlant of rival podcasters). You love 1776? Well I am America. Your a sucker fish along for the ride eating up the scraps of history and figuring out how to make it seem like French Philosophers inspired the drunk colonists like me who got hammered and carried the British tax collectors out of the taverns to be tarred and feathered, when in realty they were just annoyed with them, much like you have minorly inconvenienced me today. All you do is poop halfbaked history that was actually written by more assertive men, out of your narrow Hank-hill like asshole thats exactly the diameter of a tapeworm.

Intimidated Ben?

So now it is I who is challenged you to a debate. The grounds will be a boxing ring, and the subject will be “how many times can I punch Ben Shapiro before he quits the debate?” Loser has to admit that there actually 5’8. Plus if I lose I will try to read one of your books (i’m not going to lose.) Someone told me Bens a black belt. Even better. Even the dojo knew your daddy was a mark even when he wasnt busy writing articles about how great his son was under ghost names, and the sensei kept him around long enough to make him pay for 8 years of karate lessons so he could put his own son through school. Smart move on there part.

It would be very sad for Ben to turn this down given his general income is directley correlated to how many times he can use the word safe space in a episode. Very sad indeed. People have used the word “fraud”, “coward”, “PFTs bitch”. Not me, but others have. And Im not going to lie, Bens a sucessful podcaster- his most recent show is almost as high as ours- but Ben, you should of learned rule one before you pressed record for the first time chump- Fists dont care about your feelings.

Fight me.

Also- Buy Rough N Rowdy tonight. Gonna be awesome

PS Ben deleted his Notre Dame joke because people told him it was insenstive. Cant relate. Major cuck move there by Ben.