Illustration: Luo Xuan/GT



Don't you just hate it when couples flaunt their happiness in your face, especially when you are unattached? Then come and join me in the "FFF group."



We are prepared to go to supermarkets to poke needles in condoms, buy movie tickets that will separate joint seats in theaters, and slip notes that say "I want to break up" into cakes at bakeries and under hotel room pillows. This is a sacred oath we took and an operation plan we adopted at our critical tactical gatherings such as the Qixi Festival (Chinese Valentine's Day) which fell last Thursday. Why? Because it's unfair to be the only ones that are cursed with loneliness. So why not ruin couples' evil attempts to further torture us singletons with their public displays of affection?



The FFF group is a virtual community in China where single people assemble online and talk about their dislike of couples. The term comes from a group of single male students of Class 2-F called the "FFF Inquisition" from a popular Japanese novel series Baka and Test, who dress themselves in hooded cloaks and punish those who have girlfriends.



This phenomenon shows that there's an anti-relationship sentiment, and it reaches its peak during the holidays and celebratory days. Nowadays in China, the singles are jokingly called "the single dogs." And a whole different kind of "dog" abuse is happening.



I was deeply hurt Thursday morning, when I read posts on WeChat and Facebook, which were flooded with people posting pictures of the flowers and presents that they had received.



It became worse as the day progressed. Every TV program and commercial, every gift wrapped up in the stores, and every fully-booked restaurant with their love-themed ambience, felt like a slap in the face.



Worse still, your friends give you that look when they hear that you don't have any plans that evening.



One friend of mine, who is happily attached, said she doesn't get the point of the Qixi Festival either. Her reason is that, "with the right person, it's like celebrating Valentine's Day every day."



Well, that felt like a punch in my gut. Fine, we get it. You enjoy showering each other in your love every single moment. But come on, spare a thought for all the singletons out there.



Another friend had a different perspective on Valentine's Day. She said grinches are annoying too, because being in a relationship is a struggle itself and the special days require delicate handling. Retailers flood the market with all kinds of themed products, making those who don't celebrate and spend, look bad.



Couples, although the FFF group sounds full of hatred, you can relax. We understand. As a group of people who can't even find girlfriends or boyfriends, we are practically harmless in reality. At most we only cosplay the "FFF Inquisition" dressed in dark robes at comic cons, and read jokes and comics about "setting fire to" couples to end their love.



Telling the flaunting happy couples to simply get a room is just too corny, and now young people prefer to say, "I don't know how, but I have gasoline and torches in my hands."



This article was published on the Global Times Metropolitan section Two Cents page, a space for reader submissions, including opinion, humor and satire. The ideas expressed are those of the author alone, and do not represent the position of the Global Times.



