US President Donald Trump has commissioned the construction of a moat along the Texas-Tijuana border and demands that it be "filled with sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads," according to a statement released by The White House on Monday. Officials along the border said that the moat has been filled with salt water, but they still have yet to acquire the sharks with laser beams. The president is reportedly very upset that the moat hasn't received any sharks or laser beams as of this writing.

"I don't ask for much," tweeted Trump. "All I wanted was sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads and I wasn't able to get that. The crooked Dems will stop at nothing to stop the America First agenda, and this includes preventing a wall and a moat with sharks."

According to multiple reports, Trump's border policy will cost the world a combined $100 billion. The president has also reportedly come into the possession of a hairless cat and a clone who is one-eighth his size.

Trump's decision to construct a moat along the Texas-Tijuana border was met with sharp criticism from multiple media outlets and Democratic politicians except for Hillary Clinton who thought it was "kinda funny." The former secretary of state was reportedly in Europe encouraging anti-immigration policies as a means to stop right-wing populists from taking her allies' political jobs.