Even CBS’s Craig Ferguson isn’t getting on the late night craziness bandwagon — but he’s doing it by making fun of himself.

Tonight’s "Late Late Show" begins with a cold open of Fergie saying, apparently off-camera, “I’m sorry I can’t be here tonight. I’ve been moved. I am now appearing at 11:30 at NBC.”

Then, during his opening remarks, the Fergster (we’re trying out nicknames here, folks) goes on to express his puzzlement over today’s developments (join the club!).

Courtesy of CBS, the transcript:

I’m watching on the internet of all the different things going on at NBC…this is the latest I’ve heard. I don’t know if it is true, but this is the rumor I’ve heard this is what is going around the late night circles. Jay moves to 11:30 and does a half-hour show between 11:30 and 12. Then Conan does 12 to 1 and then Fallon does 1 till 2. I think that is what the rumor is tonight. I don’t know if that is going to happen. And I’m thinking “Where is Carson Daly in all this?” …

But I have to tell you when I look at all this.when I watch the other, you know, NBC making this terrible mess of the schedule, guys that they are moving are real nice guys. I know these guys. They are perfectly nice guys, professional, they are good at their jobs but they get moved around. And when I watch the other guys making a mess of it I think, (evil laughter.). It’s kinda like when you are playing a game of football and the guy comes to tackle you and he kinda trips and you go “ha, ha ha.”

Anyway I just want to assure you of this, as the other guys are doing all of this stuff and making all of these mistakes but I do like to think that we still make the crappiest late night TV show. When all is said and done we will be remembered that we are the ones that sucked the most. But what did we do? We sucked at the same damn time ever night. Every night join me right here and you will get your regular dose of suck.

