ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The leader of One Nation in New South Wales wore his heart on his sleeve this afternoon as he paid tribute to the lady who got him a ticket on the gravy train.

Mark Latham said he respects and loves party leader Pauline Hanson so much that he’s shelved his current plans to leave the party for the time being – until she feels a bit better.

The one-time Opposition leader explained to The Advocate this afternoon via telephone that he was planning to defect from the controversial political group this week – but felt like he shouldn’t kick Pauline when she was down.

“Pauline doesn’t speak for everyone in One Nation,” said Latham.

“You know those billboards she has up at the moment? The ones that say, ‘I’ve got the guts to say what you’re thinking!’? Yeah, well I spend most of my days fantasising about flogging swans and geese to death with a cricket stump but I doubt you’ll hear Pauline say that out loud,”

“So, naturally, live everybody else who gets elected on the One Nation ticket, I decided to bail on old Crazy Eyes Hanson and either go it alone, start my own party or join Clive. But I felt bad when Pauline cried on television the other night. I’m not made of stone, you know! So I decided to postpone my plans to dump her for the time being.”

The Advocate reached out to One Nation for comment but only received an invitation to come out on the sauce with James Ashby in return.

Senator Derryn Hinch called out of the blue to tell our reporters that he abhors gun violence.

The Advocate thanked him and put the phone back down.

More to come.

