Debra Messing at the 2018 Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills, Calif. (Mario Anzuoni/Reuters)

Recent events have left me — admittedly not much of a sophisticate — confused. When I heard that Debrah Messing was looking to effectively blacklist actors who deigned to attend a rally for the president of the United States, I started wondering when it is (and is not) 0kay to exercise freedom of association.


By my count:

It is okay to refuse to hire or work with actors who have attended a Trump rally.

It is not okay that Karen Pence works at a religious school that refuses to hire people whose sexual behavior violates its religious precepts.

It is okay to refuse service to Sarah Sanders at a restaurant for violating its sincerely held political beliefs.


It is not okay to refuse to bake a cake for a ceremony that violates your sincerely held religious beliefs.

It is okay (laudable even!) to exclude whites from all-black dormitories and all-black graduation ceremonies.

It is not okay to exclude men from women’s sporting events.


And it’s not okay to say anything about it, because one side deserves it. Or something.