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A collaborative online effort of like-minded female members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints recently took a public stand on what it characterized as a “protected class” of sin: gay marriage [Edit: please search the site yourself to find the post in question if so inclined]. See, “some members of the Church have […] been ‘drawn away after the persuasions’ of the world and support same-sex marriage” without realizing “that their support for it inadvertently supports serious sexual sin.” In case you didn’t pick up on it, the author goes on to hammer home the message that gay marriage = “sexual sin” several more times:

Is there any other sexual sin that’s supported like this one? Pause for a moment and consider if there is any other sexual sin that is so widely accepted or affirmed by some members of the Church (or even other Christian faiths) as same-sex marriage and homosexual relationships. try substituting “same-sex marriage” with another sexual sin in its place In fact, try substituting “gay marriage” with any other sin and see what happens. Same-sex marriage is institutionalized sexual sin. If we are not very careful, we will think it means we’re being given a license to support serious sexual sin and abusing the words of an Apostle. Let us not use this to justify homosexual activism or support for gay marriage. Herein lies the doctrinal deception and great misunderstanding by so many wonderful members of the Church: supporting and affirming same-sex marriage is supporting and affirming something that is a serious sexual sin and an act of apostasy.

Hang on to your hats, folks, because I’m going to agree with part of this: As far as things currently stand, gay marriage is in fact an act of apostasy. (Let the detractors take note—BCC stands with the prophets!) For the record, the First Presidency clarified back in November 2015 that

The newly added Handbook provisions affirm that adults who choose to enter into a same-gender marriage or similar relationship commit sin that warrants a Church disciplinary council.

So there’s no getting around the charge of apostasy. But is gay marriage a sexual sin? Not unless you live in a strange world where marriage is synonymous with sex. All that substituting of gay marriage for sins sexual and otherwise elides important distinctions. In the world in which rational minds are not clouded by the fog of (culture) war, “having a wedding,” “getting married,” and “having sex” are separate items on the to-do list.

While gay sex may be a serious sexual sin, gay marriage is not, unless your argument is that gay monogamy is more of a sexual sin than gay promiscuity (or cohabitation). This would be an uphill battle, I believe, in light of Elder Oaks’ endorsement of President Joseph F. Smith:

“Sexual union is lawful in wedlock, and if participated in with right intent is honorable and sanctifying. But without the bonds of marriage, sexual indulgence is a debasing sin, abominable in the sight of Deity.”

Sure, those were different times—who could have foreseen that one day there would be such a thing as gay sexual union in wedlock?—but let’s stick to the prophets’ explanation that under the November 5 policy, gay marriage is not a sexual sin but the sin of apostasy.

Now, I hear you, I really do—”Sins are sins! A distinction without a difference!” you cry. But I remain unpersuaded. (Let the detractors take note—BCC stands with the publicans!) As apostasy, being gay married is analogous to, say, converting to Catholicism, and going to a non-Mormon friend or family member’s gay wedding is supporting exactly the same kind of apostate behavior as going to a Catholic wedding. In each case, one forsakes the knowledge, light, and truth that give our very mortal existence meaning. Certainly, it would be a move that the prophets and apostles would not support, and we are to take the advice offered in the post linked above we should take heed not to (unwittingly) lend our support to apostasy either.

Which raises a vital question: What does being unsupportive of marriage apostasy look like in practice? Encouraging friends and family to marry people they don’t love? Attending the wedding but closing your eyes, plugging your ears and humming hymns loudly? Preemptively hiring a divorce lawyer? Refusing to recognize their spouse? Talking about them in their presence as if they didn’t exist? Labeling them an apostate and culling them from the flock?

Sure, you say, nice straw man. That’s so patently absurd that no one would… Well, what? What license do we grant ourselves to shun those who choose a different path? Just how sure are we that Jesus wants us for a storm cloud to rain on someone else’s parade?