"I received a call slip in my mailbox ordering me to the dean's office," she says. "I remember that it was really weird, because it came on a Sunday." When she got there, she found a waiting room full of other fallen women. "When I was called into the office," she says, "the dean and one of her assistants were waiting. 'How are you?' they asked. 'How are you feeling?'" She told them she felt fine, and they cut right to the chase. "We're concerned about your health. We're concerned you might be pregnant."

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"Have you been visited by any storks lately?"

That seemed unlikely to Lilith, a currently menstruating virgin. "They told me 'People said you've been feeling sick and vomiting in trash cans,'" which was only slightly less confusing, because she had never been that sick the whole time she had been at school. When she explained all of these things, they asked "Would you be OK with taking a pregnancy test to prove your innocence?" That's verbatim what they said, as if pregnancy was a crime.

Lilith had a feeling that not being OK with it wouldn't be OK, so after five hours of being called in and out and asked all kinds of questions presumably with a flashlight in her face, she was marched down to a bathroom to take the (obviously negative) test. This was during a busy time of day, when there were tons of students in the halls, all watching her being trotted out to take her pee of shame.