Posted In: Saw It For You

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Synopsis. Bruce Willis once again steps into the role of Detective John McClane, who is on an international NYPD mission to save his son, Jack McClane.

Tagline. In Russia, A Good Day to Die Hard sees you three times on opening weekend!

Trivia

Because of a stuntcasting initiative, John McClane’s father Jay McClane is played by all members of One Direction simultaneously. Zayn Malik was unavailable to shoot that day, which is why the Zayn Malik part of Jay McClane appears on a laptop running Skype.

Every sixth page of the script went missing from the shooting schedule due to a pagination error. No one noticed.

Reginald VelJohnson returns in a featured cameo as “Sgt. Al Powell,” his character from the first Die Hard. However, to avoid paying him more than an extra’s wage, all his dialogue was replaced with chewing noises.

Much of the film was shot using an inferior “night-for-day” technique. This is why in many of the daytime scenes, Bruce Willis is carrying a flashlight.

Director John Moore signed onto the project originally believing the Die Hard franchise was moving in a high-fantasy direction. During filming, he was informed that Russia is a real country.

The title for German theaters was mistranslated as “It’s A Good Day For The Erect,” making the movie thirty times more profitable there than in America.

Bruce Willis utters his trademark catchphrase “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker” no less than five times in A Good Day to Die Hard. All of them occur during the Arby’s bathroom sex scene.

The screenplay was written in Microsoft Excel.

Mistakes

The New York Police Department does not have an “International Bureau of Missions.” Additionally, the Bureau’s logo is identical to the IBM logo.

Language lapse. Russian is its own language with its own alphabet, and not just all-caps English with backwards Rs.

Russian is its own language with its own alphabet, and not just all-caps English with backwards Rs. Incorrectly regarded as goof. McClane’s handgun never runs out of bullets, and McClane apparently never reloads, meaning that the single magazine contains infinite bullets, which is impossible. However it is possible McClane has access to infinite identical handguns.

McClane’s handgun never runs out of bullets, and McClane apparently never reloads, meaning that the single magazine contains infinite bullets, which is impossible. However it is possible McClane has access to infinite identical handguns. The Cyrillic “Я” is pronounced ya, and not “like the pirate R.”

Equipment mix-up. The cockpit of a Russian Ka-52 helicopter does not feature an “Explode Soon” switch.

The cockpit of a Russian Ka-52 helicopter does not feature an “Explode Soon” switch. It is also not possible to “run” along the top of spinning helicopter blades by doing football-style high-knee tire sprints.

Director’s trademark: Trajectory of fireball altered by sight of cleavage.

Trajectory of fireball altered by sight of cleavage. Russians, as a race, do not possess “eye sonar” as a common trait.

Russia and Canada are not part of the same landmass.

Director’s trademark: Character indicates displeasure by wolf-whistling at sink full of dirty dishes.

Character indicates displeasure by wolf-whistling at sink full of dirty dishes. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police do not have any form of jurisdiction in the Kremlin.

It is unlikely a Kalashnikov could be field-modified to shoot a stream of water onto a burning preschool teacher.

Director’s trademark: Main character turns to the camera, shrugs, and says “That’s the end, I guess.”

Memorable Quotes

Hans Gruber IV. (thumbing trigger) You will pay for killing my great-grandfather, John McClane.

John McClane. That fuckin’ explosion’s gonna alert every Canadian mountie within a 500-mile radial [sic].

Hans Gruber IV. Your son only learned part of the truth. The satellite is in orbit above America, yes… but it’s not there to steal bank codes. It’s there to send a beam which will deflate every football in the United States… forever.

Jack McClane. Nice of you to be late to the fuckin’ party.

John McClane. Didn’t your mother tell you not to curse in front of your father, fuckface?

Jack McClane. You always called mom a bitch.

John McClane. (classic McClane smirk)

John McClane. Touch one hair on my son and I’ll cram a star-spangled grenade so far up your Russian diarrhea-hole you’ll shit USA for a week.