CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI—Saying that nothing rankled him more than hearing that kind of outrageous misrepresentation, Chippewa Falls, WI, resident Gary Miller told reporters Thursday that he absolutely hates when people from Eagle Point claim to be from Chippewa Falls. “Come on now, Eagle Point is a good 15 minutes up Highway 124,” said an exasperated Miller, adding that it was “complete and total BS” that anyone from Eagle Point, “of all places,” would profess to be from the city that was home to the Cook-Rutledge Mansion and Irvine Park. “Every time I hear some Eagle Point idiot say he’s from Chippewa Falls, I just want to turn to him and ask, ‘Oh, really? Then what elementary school did you go to? Hillcrest? Parkview? That’s right, I didn’t think so.’” At press time, Miller was explaining that Chippewa Falls was “practically up the road” from Eau Claire and that the boundaries were “kind of fuzzy” anyway.

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