I haven’t forgotten that I owe a table of NPC motivations. I’m still working on it, which is probably overthinking, but I have to go through that stage with everything first.

For now:

TheJollyLlama875 says:

Alchemical item mishaps! As many as you can think of.

OK, first of all: nice Animaniacs reference. Now:

I’ve interpreted this to mean this is what happens when you drink a potion is made by a new or feckless alchemist, mage or witch. I can only type in twenty, as the potion I just drank is rather strong.

Alchemical Item Mishaps roll d20 Effect 1 potion is undrinkably bitter. no effect. 2 potion is sweet, attracts 10d100 angry killer bees. 3 tastes great, less filling. Has no effect. 4 piss fire for 1d6 weeks. (okay, I know what you’re thinking. 1d3 damage short range missile attack thrice per day for male characters. cone attack for females) 5 potion works, but rots all your teeth out instantly, no save. (had dreams of this one? me too.) 6 potion works, but you are drunk (-8 dex, -3 saves) for 1d6 hours. 7 fails. aphrodisiac combined with not-choosey-at-all effect. 8 works. crossed eyes for 1d6 days. 9 doesn’t work, but 1d6 pixies fall in love with you and will follow you around for a week. 10 potion is perfect acid. eats though container, floor, goes to center of the planet when brewed. 11 works. flowers grow from every orifice for 1-3 weeks. 12 no noticable effect. become addicted to next potion you drink. 13 break out with acne everywhere until cure disease. -2 penalty to charisma. 14 potion works, but you now think you are some historical or legendary figure (a silly one) 15 the potion was harboring an earworm! minus two to anything involving intelligence for the next 1d8 hours. 16 a small head grows on the back of our neck and speaks very personal prophecy to anyone who talks to it. 17 everything between 15 and 100 feet from you is hit by a level 8 fireball spell 18 no one will believe you swallowed a liquid demon, but you are indeed possessed. 19 grow four extra arms below your regular ones. 20 you have reverse esp for 4 hours. anyone who looks at you knows your every thought. save or reveal any secrets or hidden notivations to any pc or npc that looks at you.

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