Survivor: Africa, Ethan Zohn, Sole Survivor

While Ethan wasn’t stunt casting, nobody would have had any idea who he was, he still counts. Ethan played professionally in Hawaii for the Tsunami, the Cape Cod Crusaders. This was during a time that the MLS was not really a known entity. By all accounts, were he around now, Ethan would have had a spot in that league. After spending some time as a pro in the States, Ethan wanted something more. So he went out to Africa and managed to make a pro team in Zimbabwe.

I went over, unsigned. I went through a trial period, but when I made the first team it was just absolutely incredible, walking into a stadium and there are 35 or 40 thousand people. I guess soccer just opened my eyes to a whole new world. I knew soccer was popular. I knew it was the world’s sport. But I really didn’t experience that living here in the United States. Moving to Africa really showed me the power of soccer.

There aren’t any reliable sources for any of Ethan’s stats but he was a goaltender and he must have been somewhat decent to make it outside of the States. We do know that he retired fairly young but that may have also had something to do with how his Survivor journey played out.

We don’t need to spend too much time on Ethan as a Survivor player. We all know he won. We all know that I am a huge fan of his and love what he’s done since his time on the show. Safe to say that for the inaugural professional athlete on Survivor, Ethan did alright.

Survivor: Guatemala, Gary Hogeboom (allegedly), 3rd Jury Member

Now this may have simply been vicious rumours spread by Danni Boatwright, but apparently Gary Hogeboom made an appearance in Survivor: Guatemala. Poor Gary Hawkins happens to be blessed with the same face as Hogeboom, went to the same college at the same time as Hogeboom, and he must live out his life constantly being mistaken for the former NFL quarterback.

Had Gary Hawkins, professional landscaper, been Gary Hogeboom, that would have been a nice grab from casting. He spent 10 years in the NFL, playing in 79 games and starting 37 of them. The longest of this time was spent in Dallas, playing for the Cowboys who are simultaneously the most loved and hated football franchise in America. Starting at quarterback for the Cowboys means immediate celebrity status, especially back in Hogeboom’s day.

On Survivor, Hogeboom is wrongly credited for all of the things Gary Hawkins accomplished. He played the first ever hidden immunity idol in Survivor history. At the merge, he fought against a strong majority that aimed to take him out for his threatening status as a challenge threat. Gary Hawkins turned out to be a very good Survivor player who often gets underrated. This is especially true when people blindly want to attribute all of these things to a former professional quarterback who never even played Survivor.

Such is the plight of Gary Hawkins. If only he hadn’t gone to Central Michigan for landscaping school, he may have avoided this cruel fate.

Survivor: Panama, Aras Baskauskas, Sole Survivor

You could be forgiven for not knowing about this one. The only reason I know about Aras’ basketball career is because I am really into basketball and Aras has talked about playing ball on various RHAP podcasts. It lead to me Googling him and finding out some cool facts about the Panama winner.

As a high schooler, Aras was a pretty good basketball player. Good enough to earn a spot on UC-Irvine’s division one team. He played ball all four years he attended UC-Irvine. This added up to 39 games and nine starts. The team was good enough to make the National Invitation Tournament (NIT) twice during Aras’ time there. The NIT is basically the second best end-of-the-year tournament after March Madness.

Aras wasn’t a big time contributor, a point, an assist and a steal per game over the course of his college career. Still, with roots in Lithuania, Aras was able to score a contract to spend some time as a professional basketball player in Lithuania. Like Ethan, I can’t tell you much about his stats but unlike Ethan, I can tell you that Aras was not as good relative to his peers.

With Ethan and Aras on their side, the athlete’s track records on Survivor thus far is pretty good. Two winners in three attempts and the other is just some dude who happened to look like a pro-football player so it shouldn’t even count.

Survivor: Cook Islands, J.P. Calderon, 4th voted out

J.P. played professional volleyball. I don’t know much about it because there isn’t a very big following for the sport professionally, at least compared to the other vocations these athletes chose to follow. He also dabbled in coaching at the university level.

On Survivor, J.P. was fairly forgettable. He was buddies with Ozzy Lusth and was involved in the plan to throw a challenge to the get the immortal Billy Garcia out of the game. When the tribes swapped, J.P. became an early casualty for being a physical threat and not having any alliances.

Survivor: China, Ashley Massaro, 2nd voted out

We can credit Ashley for breaking the glass ceiling on female athletes on Survivor. At the time of her appearance on the show, Ashley was a wrestler for the WWE in their Diva division. She first made it to the big show by winning a talent competition called the WWE Diva Search. She actually won $250,000 along with that title which is 1/4th the Survivor reward money, that isn’t too bad.

Ashley came up in the WWE during a time where I really wasn’t following it whatsoever. That means I have a pretty big blind spot in terms of her importance. That she wrestled for three years and was involved in a decent amount of storylines tells me that she was a fairly big name for a minute during the mid-00s. She even had two different theme songs, that’s pretty big.

Here she is doing some work in the ring, including her mic-skills.

The acting needs work for sure, there is some stumbling going around but keep in mind that this is incredibly early in her career. Her actual wrestling seems pretty decent and I can only assume it got better the more work she got.

As far as on Survivor, Ashley just couldn’t cut it. She feuded with Dave Cruser, which honestly shouldn’t be a mark against her. Dave was a maniac whose sole goal on Survivor was to build the world’s most elaborate fire pit. Still, Ashley got sick because of the rough elements, never integrated socially into her tribe and was an early vote-out. She’s lucky Chicken happened to be on her tribe or she would have been the first to go.

Survivor: China, Frosti Zernow, 3rd jury member

Not only does Survivor: China hold the distinction of casting the first female athlete, it holds the distinction of being the first season with multiple recognizable names. At the time, Frosti wouldn’t have been on anyone’s radar. He was mostly known for being the youngest player to make it onto the show; a record that would be broken numerous times in the future.

In China, Frosti had the misfortune of being placed on the Zhan Hu tribe. They were terribly mismatched physically against the imposing Fei Longs and in terms of personalities, much of the tribe just couldn’t get along with each other. Because they were so many loud characters on either tribes, Frosti’s cool demeanor kind of got lost in the shuffle. He was a good company man and strong in challenges. He was cut when he was no longer needed by the rest of the contestants.

After the show, Frosti went on to follow his parkour dreams. He has made three appearances on American Ninja Warrior, doing a little better than Ozzy did in his ANW attempt.

Note: Jean-Robert does not count as much as ESPN would like us to think of poker as a sport. In no world of mine is Jean-Robert considered an athlete.

Survivor: Gabon, Crystal Cox, 5th jury member

Ah Crystal Cox and her blazing speed. We all remember her as the former Olympian who may have been the worst challenge competitor on the show. She managed to fail at pretty much any competition Survivor threw at her during her time on the island.

In terms of her Olympics career, Crystal had some decent accomplishments. This included a gold medal in the 4x400m relay at the 2004 Athens Olympics. I am speaking in past tense because that medal would later be stripped from her after she admitted to doping. Also, Crystal only ran the preliminary rounds in Athens and did not take part in the final run, so the gold medal was mostly just symbolic before it was taken away.

In terms of actually playing the game, Crystal did fairly well strategically. It may have been that in Gabon, she was placed with a bunch of buffoons and that made standing out easier but for a while, Crystal had a good hand in the game. Her alliance with Kenny Hoang had the majority and they were picking people off. She was ultimately overthrown because Sugar Kiper decided she didn’t like Crystal and Kenny anymore but for a while Crystal might have had a chance to make it to final tribal council. Where she would have lost because most of her tribe hated her.

Survivor: Tocantins, Heroes vs Villains, and Blood vs Water Tyson Apostol, 2nd jury member, 6th voted out, Sole Survivor

If we’re counting Ethan and Aras, Tyson has to count too. He went to BYU on a swimming scholarship. On top of that, Tyson is an accomplished biker who rode for an Austrian professional team called Team Volksbank. Tyson was even on a podcast talking about his experience as a professional cyclist, which unfortunately appears to be lost to time because it would have been interesting.

I don’t need to say much about Tyson the Survivor player. He’s my favorite contestant of all-time. Extremely funny, an all-around terrific character who also happens to be a brilliant strategist when he allows himself to be.

Speaking of Tocantins, I debated counting Coach Wade. He is a legitimately accomplished soccer coach that has won multiple league titles and individual awards as best coach. Still, it’s only been at the university level and never any higher. It’s worth noting that he was fired from his first big coaching job for telling his athletic director that he was going to have some sort of brain surgery when in reality, he was leaving for two months to go on Survivor. If that isn’t the most Coach-esque way to leave your job, I don’t know what is.

Survivor: Nicaragua, Jimmy Johnson, 3rd voted out

I wrote an entire article about Jimmy Johnson being on Survivor. No use adding more words to this article when it would just be re-hashing that piece.

Survivor: Redemption Island, Steve Wright, 3rd jury member

Steve played 129 games over his 10 year career in the NFL. He played as both an offensive tackle and an offensive guard. He spent most of his time with the Oakland Raiders but actually began his career with the Dallas Cowboys, at the same time as alleged Survivor contestant Gary Hogeboom. He should have reached out to Gary when he was being slandered on the show as Gary Hawkins was assuming his identity. I guess we know what kind of teammate Steve Wright was.

He’s even got the Gary Hawkins pose. I smell a conspiracy.

On Survivor, Steve had the misfortune of having to live with Phillip Sheppard after the merge. He was picked off methodically by Boston Rob and his alliance of brainless minions. Steve isn’t exactly memorable as a Survivor player which actually fits right in line with his career in the NFL.

Survivor: Redemption Island, Grant Mattos, 5th jury member

Look, Grant only played six games in the NFL but damn it, that counts. He recorded two tackles in those six games which means that he at least got to see the field. He wasn’t drafted and still managed to play himself onto a professional roster. That takes a lot of grit and heart and Grant does deserve respect for fighting for his goal. In college, he played for USC which is in itself a pretty big deal. USC is one of those big football schools that do lend some credibility to a player’s name.

If you know Boston Rob’s history, you might know that loyalty means little to him in Survivor. Grant found that out the hard way when Rob cut him on day 35 to make sure nobody could get in the way of his million dollars. Like Lex Van den Berghe before him, Grant was very bitter over this and has never forgiven Rob for his betrayal. Unlike Lex, Grant still voted for Rob because voting for Phillip would have been a tragedy and Natalie Tenerelli just happened to exist.

Survivor: Philippines, Jeff Kent, 2nd jury member

In the baseball world, Jeff Kent is very well-known. He was the 2000 NL MVP and remains the all-time leader in home runs by a second baseman. Over the course of his career, he played in 2298 games, hit 377 homers, and was a five time all-star. Playing mostly in a very tainted era for professional baseball, Jeff was able to keep his nose clean and was never tagged with the “steroids” stigma. Still, despite staying clean his entire career, his hall of fame chances have been hurt simply for existing within that era of baseball but also probably for being an asshole.

Outside of Jimmy Johnson, Jeff Kent is the biggest athlete to ever play Survivor. He actually turned out to be a pretty decent player. Right from the outset, he did not trust Jonathan Penner for being a returning player. Jeff considered that to be a huge advantage when put against first-time players. This is likely from knowing the difference between being a rookie in the pros and having some experience under your belt.

Despite not trusting Penner, circumstances led to having to ally with him in order to keep the majority in his own tribe. Going into the merge, Jeff looked to be in a good position until he was blindsided when Malcolm Freberg was able to bluff people into thinking he would play an idol should the votes come to him. Jeff is mostly remembered for his parting words that remain funny to this day.

Survivor: Caramoan, Julia Landauer, 7th voted out

By the time Julia was on Survivor, she hadn’t yet reached prominence in her career as a stock car driver but she was still trying to live out her dream. Being on the show may have helped raise her profile even if she was mostly confined to the background and not given much shine as an actual player.

On the show, her most memorable moment doesn’t even involve her. I am talking about the famous John Cochran confessional comparing Julia to vanilla. It’s a confessional that Cochran has repeatedly admitted guilt for ever uttering but it doesn’t make it any less funny.

Since then, Julia’s star in the racing world has gotten brighter. She raced a full Nascar season in 2016 and made it into the top five in seven different races. She was also awarded the Top Breakthrough Driver of 2016. Julia is still only 25 and has a lot of racing left in her before she hangs it up.

Survivor: Blood vs Water and Game Changers, Brad Culpepper, 6th voted out & runner-up

The NFL sure seems popular among Survivor alumni. Brad spent nine seasons in the big leagues, mostly with Tampa Bay but also spending some time in Minnesota and Chicago. Brad was a defensive tackle and he picked up 34 sacks over the course of his career.

Brad was an even bigger name in college, at the university of Florida. He won an SEC championship with the Gators and was named a consensus All-American. He also won a Draddy Trophy in 1991 which is essentially the Heisman Trophy for players who also go to class. Brad has been inducted into the University of Florida Athletic Hall of Fame.

Cast on Survivor to play with his wife Monica, of One World fame, Brad became the Survivor version of Bad Luck Brian. He played a little bit too hard out of the gates and happened to be labelled as the one making all the decisions on the loved ones beach. When people were voted out, it all fell on Brad even though many people were voting. That led to some harsh feelings and an eventual bad-ass moment when Caleb Bankstead called his shot at tribal council and got Brad eliminated out of nowhere.

In Game Changers, Brad returned with a more mellow vibe. He was able to get into a majority alliance an establish numbers early on. Sarah Lacina did her best Tony Vlachos impression to sort of ruin that alliance but Brad was able to ride an immunity run into final tribal council. The jury did not respect his game as much as Sarah’s more strategic maneuvering but on a PR level, Brad was able to do a lot of good for his image in his second time around.

Survivor: Cagayan, Cliff Robinson, 5th voted out

The NBA is my “area of expertise” if you will and Cliff was a fairly big-name to get on Survivor. He doesn’t compare to Jimmy Johnson or Jeff Kent but I would place him around the same level of impact as Gary Hogeboom who definitely did not appear on Survivor.

In college, Cliff played for the UConn Huskies and made a name for himself as a reliable scorer who could also rebound and even create for others a little bit. He was good enough to be selected in the second round of the 1989 NBA draft by the Portland Trail Blazers. From there, Cliff made it impossible for the team to let him go.

His best years were spent in Portland where he averaged over 20 points per game on three separate occasions. With his size, Cliff could play the power forward position and shoot from downtown. He was one of the first players who could stretch the floor from the 4 spot even if he was naturally more inclined to play as a small forward. Cliff was also an extremely talented shot blocked and that made him an asset defensively. In fact, he was better as a defensive player than he was as a scorer, something not many NBA players can claim.

Over the course of 18 seasons, Cliff played for five teams and made on all-star appearance. He was the recipient of the 1992–93 6th man of the year award, recognized for his ability to impact the game coming off the bench. Twice he made the 2nd All-NBA defensive team. He is 33rd all-time in defensive win shares. Cliff also looks remarkably similar to Kevin Durant.

On Survivor, Cliff was open about his NBA past. At 6”10, it’s hard not to be. The tribe mostly accepted it and did not make a fuss, save for Tony. If there’s one person you don’t want to upset, it’s Tony. Despite making tight bonds with his tribe, mostly Woo Hwang, Cliff was blindsided out of the game because Tony was too paranoid that people were going to worship the ground Cliff walked on as a former professional athlete. Cliff really became the first person to get Tony-ed but he can take solace in the fact that he was far from the only one.

Note: David Samson does not count on this list. Fuck David Samson, he screwed over my Montreal Expos.

Survivor: San Juan del Sur, John Rocker, 3rd voted out

Earlier I called Jeff Kent an asshole, and he was. Still, Jeff Kent does not hold a candle to the level of assholery that John Rocker reached in his heights as a professional baseball player. Rocker was active in the MLB from 1998 to 2003 as a pitcher. He spent most of his time with the Atlanta Braves and amassed a 13–22 record during his career.

Rocker became mostly known for some comments he made in Sports Illustrated about New York City and whether he’d ever play for the Yankees or the Mets.

I’d retire first. It’s the most hectic, nerve-racking city. Imagine having to take the 7 Train to the ballpark looking like you’re riding through Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It’s depressing… The biggest thing I don’t like about New York are the foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?

He would also later defend a former teammate’s use of the word “fag” in reference to a journalist. He started a “Speak English” campaign and called his former general manager with the Braves “a piece of shit”. Rocker also wrote that the holocaust could have been prevented if only the Jewish people had been allowed to have guns.

Absolute certainties are a rare thing in this life, but one I think can be collectively agreed upon is the undeniable fact that the Holocaust would have never taken place had the Jewish citizenry of Hitler’s Germany had the right to bear arms and defended themselves with those arms.

Oh and Rocker also admitted to using steroids, using the “everybody did it” excuse as his crutch.

Fucking yikes.

He also looks like a John Travolta look-alike.

So it’s safe to say that Rocker, going into Survivor, was a well-known figure for mostly terrible reasons. He got into it with Natalie Anderson, who would end up winning the season, and was mostly unlikable if fairly inoffensive. He went home with an idol in his pocket, which is always fun, and his loved one, Julie McGee ended up quitting in the jury phase, which is always annoying.

Survivor: World’s Apart, Tyler Fredrickson, 5th jury member

Another former football player if you consider kickers as part of the team. Tyler played in college at Berkeley where he punted and also place-kicked for the team. From there, Tyler signed with a bunch of professional teams but was never able to make it out of the pre-season. He did kick a 49 yard field goal for the Dallas Cowboys in a pre-season game before they cut him. So that’s kind of cool.

Count Tyler as part of the competent athletes on Survivor. He was able to find himself in a majority alliance and as a legitimate threat to win the game. His alliance’s biggest downfall was their inability to make Mike Holloway lose an immunity challenge. The one time Mike failed to win immunity, he played his immunity idol and Carolyn Rivera took the chance to blindside Tyler, her close ally, and get rid of a potential jury threat.

Survivor: Kaoh Rong, Scot Pollard, 4th jury member

Scot was a wacky presence during his time in the NBA. He was a journeyman who would mostly get onto teams for his size and ability to play spot minutes as a competent defender. He may be remembered for sporting a large Mohawk or getting filmed on camera telling kids to do drugs as a joke that went awry.

In terms of actual impact, Scot was probably most important during his time with the Sacramento Kings. This was an incredibly fun era of Kings basketball. They were a fast-paced operation that was a product before its time. While the Los Angeles Lakers were the prime Western team of that era, the Kings gave them some tough competition and were arguably robbed of a chance to beat them in a playoff series. Scot was a big presence coming off the bench, spelling both Chris Webber and Vlade Divac whenever they needed rest.

As he liked to remind people on Survivor, Scot does own an NBA championship. It wasn’t something that he earned himself, since he played 0 meaningful minutes during the Boston Celtics’ championship run but he still does have the honor of being part of a winning team. Something few Survivor athletes can claim.

Even if Scot was a character during his NBA career, he was an even bigger presence on Kaoh Rong. With Kyle Jason, Scot became one of the more memorable villains in recent Survivor history. They first appeared to gain some power when they allied with Tai Trang and formed the possibility of a super idol. Then they were outmaneuvered by Aubry Bracco who was able to swing Tai to her side.

Scot’s blindside, where Tai refuses to give up his half of the idol to form the super idol, is one of the more memorable downfalls in the show’s 34 season run. The shock Scot displays as Tai plunges a knife into his back is wonderful to see and it really gives Scot’s story a nice finish.

Honorable Mention: Survivor: Millennials vs Gen X, Chris Hammons, 3rd jury member

Chris did not play pro-football but he did win a college championship with the Oklahoma Sooners. Have to give some partial credit for that.

Survivor: Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers, Alan Ball & Katrina Radke

These two are upcoming athletes to join the Survivor alumni. Alan played professional football for various NFL teams as a position player. Katrina is a former swimmer who performed for team USA in the Olympics as well as at different world championships. Time will tell how they perform on the show.