Abusive people share the same basic traits: they identify their victim’s weaknesses and exploit them consistently and relentlessly over periods of weeks, months and years. They slowly erode their target’s self-esteem until they are too unsure of themselves to definitively know right from wrong. They’ll also know when to dangle the metaphorical carrot and turn on the charm so that their victim is left in no doubt of how idyllic life could be, if only they "behaved". They actively seek people who are kind, tolerant and emotionally intelligent. They are often prone to moments of vulnerability or come from difficult backgrounds themselves, which plays on their target’s sympathies. They would be the perfect partner if only you could "fix" them.