If there’s one blockbuster that seems tailor-made for me, it would be Deadpool 2. The four corners of my favorite mindless entertainment are violence, heart-breaking emotional stakes, meta commentary, and cool visuals. Throw in some dick jokes and unnecessary cursing and I’m in heaven. And yet here I stand (or more aptly sit), internally cringing every time I see an advertisement for this movie. Why? It’s all because of T.J. Miller.

Miller’s turn from comedy darling to entertainment eye roll has been fast. It all started with Miller’s announcement that he would be leaving the show that made him a headline-grabbing name, Silicon Valley. In an interview with the Hollywood Reporter that can only be described as bizarre, Miller explained that he wanted to leave the “cyclical” comedy because “it’s interesting to leave a comedy at its height.” It was a weird move, trashing and abandoning the critically-beloved HBO show that made him to star in, of all things, The Emoji Movie. And then the stories started to emerge.

There were stories about how Miller was often late and unpleasant to work with on set and more odd interviews. In April of this year, it was even reported that Miller called in a fake bomb threat. But it was an article published by The Daily Beast that altered his public reputation the most.

In a harrowing piece by Aswin Suebaeng, a woman who wished to remain anonymous detailed how Miller sexually, verbally, and physically abused her while they were both in college. In between accusations that George Washington University covered this attack up, the piece claims that Miller punched his accuser in the mouth during sex and once penetrated her with a beer bottle without her consent. Though the piece isn’t attributed to a named accuser, it was filled with accounts from friends who went to college with Miller and a woman, Katie Duffy, who claimed to be one of the accuser’s former housemates.

Soon after the piece was published, more women came forward to share their stories of sexual harassment and misconduct about the star. Film critic Danielle Solzman, a trans woman, even came forward with transphobic emails allegedly from Miller. During the dawn of the #MeToo and Time’s Up movements, a period in Hollywood history defined by bravery and shocking stories, the accusations against Miller were some of the most unnerving.

At the time of publication, all of these accusations are nothing more than that. There are also imperfections in The Daily Beast’s piece. Whereas allegations against other actors such as James Toback and Louis C.K. were backed by accusers who came forward with their names, Miller’s primary accuser remains anonymous. But even with these real world doubts, Miller’s casting in Deadpool feels like a punch in the gut from a Marvel character who has always been deeply sympathetic to the pain of others.

Most people know Deadpool as the merc with a mouth, but as Vulture’s Abraham Riesman wonderfully explains in his piece “The Deadpool Moment”, there’s always been more to this character than his quips and bloodlust. Wade Wilson was written to be a chronic outsider in the world of super teams. He has cancer. He’s queer. He’s mentally ill. He’s a sexual assault survivor. Yes, Wade has a talent for killing people in progressively disturbing ways, but he’s also a character who deeply understands pain and otherness. That understanding has influenced his choices over the years. If the #MeToo movement happened in the Marvel Universe, it feels safe to say that Deadpool would be for it.

And if there was ever a movie that could get away with recasting a major character in the middle of production All the Money in the World-style, it would be Deadpool 2. Can you imagine how much fun Deadpool would have turning to his friend Weasel (played by Miller in the movies) only to see Zach Woods or another Silicon Valley star? It could have worked. Instead of taking the time to fix this, or come up with a creative solution, the release of Deadpool 2 was pushed up by two weeks.

It’s especially frustrating because there’s so much the movie is doing right. The Deadpool sequel will reportedly feature the first openly LGBTQ couple in the history of mainstream superhero movies. After coming off of an incredible season of Atlanta the fantastic Zazie Beetz is playing Domino, a traditionally white character. In fact, the entire mutant team X-Force looks like the mature cure we’ve needed to traditionally too-perfect superhero team-ups. The movie, which already has a 87 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, looks like it’s going to be another super-powered slam dunk.

Will all the good be enough to win over my distaste and get my $12 on opening weekend? I don’t know. Miller will reportedly not be in Deadpool 3 if there is a third movie, so at least there’s that. What I do know is that one casting decision has changed my weekend plans from an enthusiastic “yes!” to a conflicted maybe.

Deadpool 2 premieres in theaters May 18.

Where to stream Deadpool