In an advertisement campaign by Always, when adult women and men are asked to run/hit/throw like a girl they do those things wispily and terribly. On the other hand, when young girls are asked to run/hit/throw like a girl, they do those things with lots of enthusiasm and effort. When asked what doing things like a girl means to them, a young girl responds “Do them as best as you can.”

Heartbreakingly, at some age, we become convinced that doing anything like a girl means that you are doing it ineffectively, wimpily, and in a way that can’t be taken seriously at all. What then, does this mean for women and non-binary people who work in technology and present as feminine? What does it mean for those of us who code like girls?

I want to share with you some of my experiences during my 20 years of presenting as feminine and being a programmer along with similar experiences shared by some women I’ve talked to. I’ll also talk about some actionable things that we can do to make tech and games a place where people can feel comfortable presenting as any gender.