If you’re going to go all wannabe tacti-cool operator wannabe space shuttle door gunning fukwit and try to commit a mass shooting, you might want to pick a different state to do it in. Texas is not a good idea. Especially if you suck ass. Which this person who has been freshly un-alived realized a little too late.

Showing up at the Earle Cabell Federal Courthouse in downtown Dallas imitating the dudes in Call of Duty Modern Warfare as best he could (which wasn’t very well done), this un-alived person looked like a hot bag of ass added to an extremely putrid dumpster fire. He literally was a shit soup sandwich.

22-year-old Brian Isaack Clyde…this dude learned really quick that the Federal Protective Service officers in this region do not, and we can’t stress this enough, they DO NOT FUK AROUND. The only person that was hurt when Brian decided to show up all wannabe tacti-cooled out was Brian as he got dropped before he was able to do harm to anyone else.

This is Texas. And despite the officers being Federal officers, they probably live here and may even be from here and one thing is certain. We don’t take too kindly to people trying to commit acts of terrorism or extreme violence ’round here. As the saying goes, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Witnesses say Brian peaked around a corner before dashing across a parking lot where the officers did their best impression of distance whack-a-mole. The “bulletproof vest” and “assault rifle” along with the copious amounts of ammo didn’t seem to help Brian out at all.

This just goes to show folks, even if you’ve got all the coolest gadgets, there is no substitute for knowing what the f*** you’re doing. Which Brian…clearly…your dead ass didn’t know f***all and you paid the price for it. Sucks to suck bitch.

Know what we're sayin fam?







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