Are We Gentrified Yet?

From: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

To: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

Subject: I'm at my limit.

Date: February 1st, 2018 at 15:31:59 Hey, Critic. Sure you heard, but the Menagerie's hosting a general exhibition on the 18th. I've got most of the slots filled, but I still need about four or five more acts last minute before I feel comfortable attracting the kind of crowd I need right now. Three things I want to mention: MC&D are actively gentrifying the BackDoor. The Menagerie's union-owned. My two biggest sponsors, in art and money, were the KoH Collective and Olney. Do the math.

From: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

To: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

Subject: Someone's at their limit.

Date: February 1st, 2018 at 17:28:59 Relax, James, relax. The Menagerie's gonna live if I gotta say in it. Look, you have a show coming up, right? Let me loan you my private collection for one, and for two, U of SoHo loves the place. I'll put out an open call, see if they can't whip something up for the exhibit. Don't feel like this is gonna be the end of the world, that's the Jailers' jobs.

From: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

To: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

Subject: Big Thanks

Date: February 1st, 2018 at 19:44:59 Thanks, yeah. I just didn't expect Yarkoni to hang herself on the same month Olney collapsed, but I suppose this is the wrong business in terms of workplace safety. Still, no matter the dire straits, I'm glad to know you have my back.



Project Proposal 2018-59: I Heart My Prophet

Title: I Heart My Prophet by Hansarp I Heart My Prophet by Hansarp Material Requirements:

Custom-made molding of Chief Foreman Robert Bumaro (already in my possession)

15 gallons of chocolate

A refrigerator Intent: Love is a strange emotion, expressed in a myriad of forms. As a devout Mekhanite, I have often been told that I am beloved by my prophet, and I have often told others that I love my prophet. I know this to be true: I love Robert Bumaro and he loves me, for through his grace and his guidance towards MEKHANE I am able to live out my blessed life as it is. Many of the devout would argue that the ultimate expression of love is sex. It's the culmination of a partnership coming together to create something greater than the sum of its parts. It's two people who love each other committing an act of love, and there's nothing more beautiful than that. Abstract: I am going to fellate the anatomically correct chocolate Robert Bumaro as a display of my love and passion not just towards him, but towards MEKHANE.





From: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

To: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

Subject: BUMARO COCK

Date: February 5th, 2018 at 13:06:59 [this email has no body text]

From: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

To: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

Subject: Re: BUMARO COCK

Date: February 5th, 2018 at 16:27:59 Ohhh, that one. Really I'm not seeing the problem. I mean A it's gonna generate a crapton of talk, B it's not nearly as bad as the creepy minotaur thing a while back, and C, don't tell me you don't wanna see how this goes down.

From: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

To: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

Subject: Re:Re: BUMARO COCK

Date: February 5th, 2018 at 17:55:59 Alright, one, don't cite that creepy minotaur at me. That was all Tamlin. Two, what you're suggesting I bill is akin to Mekhanite sacrilege. Need I remind the BackDoor homes about as many Mekhanites as NYC homes Jews? At least Judaism lacks Mitzvah regarding welding a cannon to one's arm. Three, this is all disregarding the overly sexual nature of the piece in question. I don't care what Hansarp does in his spare time, but while he's in the Menagerie, he will be sucking exactly zero cocks, whether hiding in the bathroom or on the exhibit floor. I am not putting this in the itinerary.

From: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

To: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

Subject: Re:Re:Re: BUMARO COCK

Date: February 5th, 2018 at 20:00:59 You know it sounds to me like someone doesn't want their museum saved.

From: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

To: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re: BUMARO COCK

Date: February 5th, 2018 at 20:19:59 Are you missing the part where a madman wants to suck Bumaro's cock? In my Menagerie? You are turning my exhibit into exhibitionism! Most of my invitations were already sent out. You have that list! Riddle me this, Critic: did you see a single Adytum's Lodge moron? Any one of the House of Spades goons? Did I headline, subtitle, byline, backpage, Sunday funny a single bit of lawyer-bait? No! Because the Menagerie can't afford that, because it doesn't want that. Look, everything else so far's gold. I don't know how you got that kinda talent, and frankly I don't care. But know that as long as I'm in charge, Bumaro's cock remains unsucked. Capiche?

Trip Through the BackDoor Step On Through BACKDOOR SOHO TUESDAY FEBRUARY 6TH, 2018 5¢ - NO REFUNDS CLOCK DOC CHOC COCK COCKBLOCK ART SHOCK A REPUGNANT DISPLAY OF CENSORSHIP By Lyre Lamarr-Turing

BACKDOOR - It's a grim day when, in the very capital of anomalous counterculture, the allure of money reigns supreme over the duty of an artist. Several sources near and dear to this devastated journalist has confided in them that "I Heart My Prophet", the newest masterpiece of award-winning anartist Hansarp, has been pulled from the upcoming Menagerie exhibition, despite overwhelming support from anartists world-wide. The culprit? None other than The Curator himself. The motive? Money.

The Menagerie's actions might have gone unnoticed, if not for the bravery of several anonymous sources within the SoHo anart scene.

If you hadn't yet heard of "I Heart My Prophet", we don't blame you. A bold piece involving…

From: ed.liamces|fgnedragkcidgib#ed.liamces|fgnedragkcidgib

To: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

Subject: Regarding the actions of the Menagerie.

Date: February 6th, 2018 at 11:31:59 Hello. I have to say I'm disappointed in the Menagerie. The world of art is no stranger to controversy; it is, additionally, no stranger to fake controversy. I find it ludicrous that a simple display of faith (one I might add appears predominantly in the BackDoor), no matter how lurid it may appear on text, would prompt such a rash decision. I am thus issuing an ultimatum: reinstate I Heart My Prophet in the exhibition itinerary, or remove my works from the Menagerie in their entirety. Sincerely, ~ Stella Freja Lindholm

From: cog.tenazzip|2senraBR#cog.tenazzip|2senraBR

To: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

Subject: Re: The Statue

Date: February 6th, 2018 at 12:21:59 Hi there! As one of the oldest pizza establishments in the BackDoor, we're proud to see someone taking a stand against vulgarity for vulgarity's sake. The BackDoor is, after all, the culture capital of the anomalous world; if our standards degenerate, so does our standing. We are therefore offering the Menagerie's upcoming exhibition extensive catering services, free of charge. It's the least we can do to show our thanks, and hopefully make up for the Union boycotts. Of course, we'll need access to some of the backrooms, but it'll be worth it for the level of service we provide.

R. L. Barnes Spicy Crust Pizza

From: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

To: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

Subject: You

Date: February 6th, 2018 at 17:58:59 Hello Critic, how are you doing today? I'm doing super. Peachy. I'm fucking peachy. I have grown a thick layer of fuzz and a Chinese folk hero is going to pluck me from a gravid branch and make me into medicine. I have never been anymore peachy than I am at this exact moment. I am doing very fine. Attached to this email is an internet-famous image of a man stretching his asshole open. If I were not peachy, say if someone FED BULLSHIT TO THE FUCKING TTTB, I'd think this would be an appropriate image to send to someone. Take care! You're paying for my funeral. <3 Attached: hello.jpg

From: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

To: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

Subject: Okay, drama queen

Date: February 7th, 2018 at 07:18:59 Jeez, sorry for sending talent your way. Listen James, I know things are stressful, but you gotta remember what the biz is like. Handling controversy's the name of the game. 'sides, TTTB's gonna generate buzz whether you like it or not, and I know how much you like buzz. Seriously, don't stress too hard. Just put it back in and let everything fall into place.

From: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

To: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

Subject: Here's another picture of you

Date: February 7th, 2018 at 09:31:59 [this email has no body text] Attached: wormdick.png

From: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

To: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

Subject: I hate my life.

Date: February 8th, 2018 at 20:48:59 Hey buddy ol pal ol friend of mine my dear friend the Critic who is so good to me they sabotaged my exhibit my ol acquaintance. Here's the latest update on the mess you stuck me in: From: NAW.tlatsegeht|slenapyhctap#NAW.tlatsegeht|slenapyhctap

To: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

Subject: MSAN Response

Date: February 8th, 2018 at 11:59:59 Greetings, On 02/05/2018, records indicate that I Heart My Prophet, a performance artpiece by one Mxr. Hansarp, was pulled from the Menagerie's upcoming exhibition. Following its removal, the general public at-large condemned the move; as the largest Mekhanite civil rights group in the Linuxsphere, the Mekhanite Self-Advocacy Network was thus obligated to respond to the event in question. The MSAN has reviewed the case at large, and has come to the following conclusion: This email is to inform you that you have been nominated for condemnation by the MSAN, following the arbitrary censorship of Mxr. Hansarp's act of self-expression. The MSAN accepts that I Heart My Prophet's core content might have been risque; however, it is the opinion of the MSAN the performance itself would be no more obscene than pieces such as Quin preu és la virtut? and The Book of Tamlin, both of which had been exhibited in the past by the Menagerie. It is therefore the conclusion of the MSAN that the removal of Mxr. Hansarp's piece was motivated primarily by mekhanophobic intentions. Should you choose to reinstate I Heart My Prophet in the exhibition itinerary, condemnation proceedings will cease. It is the opinion of Reverend Technician Pandora Ellis that this is the preferred option in regards to the financial future of the Menagerie. We hope to hear from you soon. Reverend Technician Pandora Ellis



To whom it may concern,



On behalf of the SoHo Temple Ironworks, we strongly condemn your inclusion of one Mxr. Hansarp's I Heart My Prophet in your upcoming exhibit. While our Patriarchs recognize that you have pulled it from the itinerary, we are nonetheless obligated to condemn your carelessness.



The SoHo Temple Ironworks holds the Menagerie accountable for the following blasphemies: The allowance of idolatry through the worship of a mortal in the name of M-KHANE.

The depiction of a faithful in the medium of "milk chocolate", an aspect of FLESH.

The perversion inherent to a depiction of a Layperson performing oral sex on a Post-Nibbanic Foreman, especially in regards to the imbalance of power necessary for such an act.

Regardless of the Broken Church's publicized support of Mxr. Hansarp's piece, the Menagerie cannot ignore the grievances of the BackDoor's significant Orthodoxist population. Know that we are disappointed in your carelessness, and implore you to do better in the future.



Brother-Schematist Key



Congratulations, I'm doomed. Whatever you did with TTTB, you doomed the Menagerie. Alternatively, you've doomed me. I am stuck between a giant, steaming rock and a hard place carrying enough current to fry my ass faster than a thunderstorm. Do you appreciate just how hard you screwed me? Do you? Congratulations, I'm doomed. Whatever you did with TTTB, you doomed the Menagerie. Alternatively, you've doomed me. I am stuck between a giant, steaming rock and a hard place carrying enough current to fry my ass faster than a thunderstorm. Do you appreciate just how hard you screwed me? Do you? Get me out of this now.

From: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

To: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

Subject: Possible solution.

Date: February 9th, 2018 at 14:28:59 Right so, first of all sorry for trying to save the Menagerie from mediocrity. Second, I've talked a lot of people on this, so bear with me: Hansarp's willing to compromise; Mekhanites hate making enemies, you know how it goes. Basically instead of using a chocolate Bumaro, he uses Fauxcolate (kosher Mekhanite "chocolate" made from synthetics like oil) to craft the likeness of Mekhane, then polishes off that. I've spoken to people from all three of the main branches, and it's completely kosher. It's even in line with the Orthodox thing about "Divine Submission". Whaddya say?

From: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

To: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

Subject: Re: Possible solution.

Date: February 9th, 2018 at 14:39:59 I am begging you to give me literally any other option. I will approve literally anything you send my way.

From: krd.liamhcrot|xecnirpyranomlup#krd.liamhcrot|xecnirpyranomlup

To: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

Subject: Act Proposal

Date: February 10th, 2018 at 18:41:59 Hey, this is Zend Kivelä! The Critic might've told you about me. I heard you were looking for help regarding the mess revolving around that one Mekh's piece. Personally I thought it was hilarious, but I guess other people can't appreciate a good piece of sacrilege when they see it. I'm proposing an alternative, complete with a way out. See, I'm an up and coming artist. I'm also an unapologetic Nälkän. It would make sense that, if you were trying to promote the little guy, you'd exclude the kinds of people who wouldn't take well to xeir leanings. No harm, no foul, just… it's me or him, and he's got enough awards already. I've actually got a piece ready! It's a fleshcraft so I do need to feed it now and then, and I'll also probably need the +18 room you had reserved for Hansarp's, but Ion Tames The Scarlet Archon is sure to be a hit (don't ask me how much research I had to do on squid penises lmao)! Critic tells me you already pre-approved this, so I'll spare you the abstract. Thanks in advance! :D

From: krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc#krd.liamhcrot|ehtrotaruc

To: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon

Subject: [no subject]

Date: February 10th, 2018 at 18:55:59 I give up.