Another day on planet earth, another reminder that there are thousands upon thousands of people who praise a guy who was amongst the biggest pieces of shit to ever breathe oxygen. XXXTentacion, my dead arch nemesis . Call me old fashioned, but I am of the school of thought that if you:

Yahoo – The comedy world is banding behind comedian Dina Hashem after Comedy Central pulled a joke she made about the murder of rapper XXXTentacion. As part of her appearance on the show “This Week at the Comedy Cellar,” Haslem joked about XXX being shot and killed last June. “Is anyone still mourning XXXTentacion?” Haslem began her bit. “He’s a rapper who was murdered. He’s dead now. He was shot, he was on his way to buy a car with $50,000 in cash and somebody shot him and took the money.” She continued, “Which is very tragic, but I think also it would be a very good Venmo commercial. That’s the first thing I thought when I heard that. Like, ‘I don’t have Venmo, I should get Venmo.” The tweet promoting the show was taken down by Comedy Central and Hashem later apologized on her Instagram page. “I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone’s feelings, that’s never what I want,” she wrote. “I’m a comic and use jokes to try and make dark topics less painful but I realize not everyone feels that way, and I don’t want anyone to feel badly. It was taken down and won’t air on TV.” While many of XXX’s fans ripped Hashem on social media (she’s since made her Twitter account private) several comedians have voiced their support for her.

1) Head butt, stomp, kick, punch, and threaten to cut out of the tongue of your wife/gf for her singing the lyrics to another mans song

2) Make your wife/gf choose between a barbecue pitchfork or a barbecue cleaner and then threaten to sexually assault her with said item because she complimented a male friend

3) Beat your wife/gf with 30 wire coat hangers and waterboard her in the bathtub

4) Hold a knife to her throat while strangling her

5) Kidnap your wife/gf, threaten to kill her and your unborn child, hold her against her will, elbow, head butt, punch, and strangle her until she loses vision and her face became unrecognizable, and force her to flee the apartment in fear of her

6) Smash in the face of one of your prison mates because he was gay, smear his blood across your face as a badge of honor, and then brag about it on a podcast after your release…

then you are one of the most vile, atrocious, abominable people to ever live. You are in the bottom 0.000001% of society and you deserve the absolute worst, both in your life and after your death. It doesnt matter to me that you made some catchy songs. It doesnt matter to me that you were only 20 years old. It doesnt matter to me that you once made some donations along the way and promised to clean up your act. You do all that shit and you are officially, and absolutely, a repulsive, violent, heinous member of society and you deserved to be remembered as such. It doesnt matter if your death ends up being tragic. That doesnt erase a short lifetime of catastrophic life decisions which left a young woman brutalized and traumatized. Just because your own death ended up (rather fittingly) being a senseless act of violence doesnt mean you automatically transform into a misunderstood martyr who was taken too soon from us. You were a piece of shit in life, and after a tragic murder, youre a piece of shit in death. Fuck XXXtentacion and anybody who defends him.

So, thats that. For the 50th time. On to the stand up comedy part of this story. Let me go ahead and also say “Furthermore, fuck anybody coming at Dina Hashem for her joke about fucking VENMO.” I mean Christ almighty you would have thought she said “Fuck XXXtentacion and anybody who defends him!” in that joke. The punchline is about Venmo, folks. Dina Hashem took the very specific details of a dark event and used them to deliver an unexpected observational punchline. Do you know what I call that? I call that fucking STAND UP COMEDY. Like, to a goddam T. That is what comics do. They touch upon subjects and events that are heavy. They find humor in hopeless circumstances. They use misdirection and delivery to surprise you with a punchline. They are witty enough to take something as tragic as a murder, of an extremely bad person, and make you chuckle thinking about how an iPhone app would have saved him a whole bunch of trouble. Get the fuck OUT of here if you think thats Third Rail, Do-Not-Touch, blackballed for life, sort of material.

I am a firm believer that absolutely anything can be used to attempt to make people laugh. The key, as always, is to make sure its funny. The more dangerous the material is, the funnier your joke better be. If you’re gonna make a 9/11 joke, it better be so well crafted and so thoughtful and so fucking hilarious that it justifies touching a topic that is so tragic to this world. But XXXTenacion was a bad person who led a bad life and so guess what? To any rational person out there, the bar for how funny a joke about him needs to be simply isnt that high. Its just not. Acting like XXXTentacion deserves some sort of posthumous protection that absolves him from ever being incorporated into a joke? Now THAT is a joke. She included her disclaimer about how his death was tragic, and used the circumstances of the crime to set up a joke about goddam VENMO. Its not like the punchline was “…because a 20 year old kid got gunned down in broad daylight! LOL!” That joke was so fucking harmless Comedy Central used it as a promotional video for public consumption!

Which is why its stunning that a fellow comedian is the one who was offended by the joke and stirred up all this controversy. The Internet Mob is always going to overreact. And of course the XXXTentacion mob is going to come for you any time you mention his shitty fucking name. Thats too be expected. But this dude James Davis was the one who sparked this controversy when he said ““This is more disrespectful than funny. This murdered young black man was also a father and a son, he deserves more respect. Rappers dying are funny now???” Not sure where he said this, because hes pretty irrelevant. I’m assuming it was an IG comment but I cant go digging around to find out exactly where. This is, without a shadow of a doubt, my biggest pet peeve when it comes to people who try to be funny. Whether youre a professional comedian, a blog commenter, a twitter follower, whatever. You dont get to crack jokes, laugh at others expense, and belittle and offend all sorts of people, but then get upset when someone touches a nerve on a topic that hits close to home for you. Everyone is fair game, anybody can be the butt of any joke, and youre slinging your own wisecracks laughing it up, and then all the sudden you’re in your feelings because someones stand up hurts your little old heart. Fuck outta here. You cant laugh at an AIDS joke and then get upset when someone makes a cancer joke because your nana croaked from the Big C. (Newsflash folks – everybody’s grandparents die of cancer.) You dont get to be rude and insensitive until all the sudden your feelings are the ones being hurt. Cherry picking whats funny and whats offensive is the lamest shit ever, and its unfathomable that a so-called comedian would ever do it. James Davis better not ever, ever, ever ever ever, write a punchline about any sort of tragic topic. Dont you dare ever write some dark comedy. Dont ever try to find humor in death. Dont ever use any unfortunate news in your act. Because I promise you, James, someone out there will be just as hurt and sad and offended and upset as your bitch ass was over this fucking Venmo joke. I’d quit the game right now rather than be known as the stand up comedian who found Dina Hashem’s Venmo joke to be too mean for the stage.

It sounds like Dina is the one who asked Comedy Central to take down the clip. It wont be airing on TV either, I’m also assuming at her request. She has made her social media private and it seems like she has no interest in engaging this any further. And when you’re getting death threats and the mob is overrunning your Twitter and IG, I can understand not wanting any of that headache. She posted an apology, of sorts:

I wish she hadnt but I get it. And so I think its clear she doesnt want anything to do with this drama. She made a harmless joke about Venmo and the internet mob showed up at her door with torches and pitchforks. Likely the same one XXXTentacion used to sexually assault his girlfriend. I can certainly understand not wanting to deal with XXXTentacion mob or hot seat internet controversy. So Dina, let me just say, as someone who is very familiar with XXXTentacion Stans, who’s been involved in nothing but internet drama for the last decade:

If you want me to carry this baton, I gladly will. I would be honored if you allowed me to. I got absolutely nothing to lose, I hate that guy’s fans, and I hate hypocritical and overly sensitive comedians. I hate people who cry about being too insensitive about someones death and then send death threats to a person they have never met. Please direct all that smoke towards me.

PS – In the end, Dina, while I’m sure this was a shitty weekend that was very stressful and scary, this is going to end up being nothing more than awesome promotion for your career. You probably heard a lot of mean shit this weekend from XXXTentacion lunatics and 1 overly sensitive comic, but I promise you that you’ve won over all the rational people of the world. Anybody with normal standards who doesnt support gay bashing wife abusers is now a Dina Hashem fan. Anybody with a regular sense of humor is now looking to head more from you. And let me tell you, the other Dina Hashem material out there is fucking A+ stuff. If you got your panties in a bunch over her venmo joke, watch this Roast Battle on stage at The Stand where she absolutely EVISCERATES this dude with some Silent Assassin ninja type delivery (The whole thing is good but 4:15 for Must Watch Fatality):

I mean, GODDAM DINA HASHEM! Now that is some offensive comedy! And shout out to Dave Kinney for taking it all in stride as any good stand up comedian should. Thats how its done, James Davis. You big crybaby.