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OVER the years, famines have gotten a lot of bad press due to the suffering and death of millions of people across the world due to malnutrition and a lack of food and water, but as our own history has shown, a famine could be the answer to our ever increasing population and housing problems.

With so many people in Ireland waiting on the housing list and struggling to afford ever increasing rent and house prices, is it no wonder a government think tank is currently reviewing “the famine solution” in the hopes of curbing the crisis?

“The Great Famine wiped out between 20% and 25% of the Irish population in just 4 years, which was nearly one million people,” a government think tank adviser explained, “right now, that’s almost 7 times the number of people currently looking for a home in Ireland”.

“Not only would a famine eradicate the housing shortage, but it would also bring down the number of homeless and unemployed people in the state, as famines tend to affect the more underprivileged in society – basically a win-win situation when you think about it”.

A report reviewing the current famine in Yemen caused by relentless bombing campaigns from the Arab states, using US and UK weaponry, found that nearly 8 million people could face widespread extinction, thus leaving behind millions of empty homes.

“Sure, many of the homes in Yemen have been obliterated, but what we’re seeing from the aftermath is a vast array of empty properties and demolished sites there for the taking,” he added, “and this could also be the case in Ireland too if people were just starved to death over a period of a couple of months. Obviously we’re a neutral country so we wouldn’t get involved bombing in Yemen but there’s nothing stopping us waging war on our own people here in Ireland by just refusing to do anything about the current situation, and as we see in Yemen no one will kick up a fuss about it”.

“In fact, a good old fashioned famine topped off with our current third world health system, the HSE, we could probably sort out this housing crisis by Sunday week”.