Jackson “Mississippi” Stephens battled even though he may not have had his best stuff. He gave up 7 hits and walked 3 over 6 innings but only allowed 2 earned runs. He also struck out 5. Jimmy “I Drink To” Herget struck out 2 in 2 scoreless innings of relief and picked up the win. Tyler “I Said Good Day!” Goeddel was 2 for 4 with 2 doubles and a RBI, and Zach “Soft J” Vincej was 2 for 4 with 2 doubles and 2 RBI.

Luke Farrell pitches at 7:05 PM ET.

Keury “Hella” Mella is still striking people out, but for some reason I find him uninspiring. He struck out 7 in 6 innings, but walked 3 and gave up 5 hits. He only allowed 2 earned runs. Alex “International Man Of Mystery” Powers struck out 1 in a scoreless inning. Nick “Show Me The Power” Senzel accounted for pretty much all of Pensacola’s offense. He walked twice, but also hit a 2-run dinger which his 10th since reaching AA and his 14th overall in 2017.

Austin Ross takes the mound at 6:35 PM CT.

Wyatt “Derp” Strahan got knocked around pretty good. He allowed 5 earned runs on 8 hits over 4.2 innings. He didn’t walk a batter and struck out 4. Juan Martinez struck out 2 in 2 scoreless, Jake “Ferret” Ehret struck out the side in the 8th, and Rafael “Angry Turtle” De Paula did the same in the 9th. Mitch Piatnik “At The Disco” went 2 for 4 with a triple and a RBI.

Seth Varner pitchest at 7:05 PM ET.

Looks like we had a Bowling Green Massacre in Dayton. Also, if you didn’t know, there were several Red Reporters in attendance at this game. I’m sure their luck paid off, and Charlie Scrabbles raised Cain. At least, he probably shouted some cool shit at players and made fun of their names. Tony “Santigold” Santillan pitched 5 scoreless innings while allowing only 1 hit and striking out 5. Alex “Dark” Webb also only gave up 1 hit in the final 4 innings on 3 strikeouts to pick up the save. That’s pretty cool. Taylor “Let The Young Man Eat” Trammell is freaking phenomenal. He went 2 for 5 with a triple, a 3-run Charlie Scrabble’s special, and 5 RBI total. Taylor Sparks also hit a solo home run on a 2 for 5 night 2 RBI total. Randy “Ace” Ventura was 2 for 4 with a double, Jose Siri was 1 for 3 with a RBI and 2 walks, Hector “Vector” Vargas was 2 for 4 with a walk, Malik “LassyLess” Collymore doubled in 2 runs and walked, and “Butch” Cassidy Brown went 2 for 4 with a double and a RBI. Maybe one of the assholes at the game will give us a more in depth report from the game. Don’t hold your breath. They’re all wastoids. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m super jealous of them.

Andrew Jordan pitches at 7:00 PM ET.

Barf. I stayed up to write this one only to have Billings lose. Tyler “Walter” Mondile pitched well in his start. He allowed only 1 earned run in 5 innings on 5 hits, 1 walk, and 4 strikeouts. Connor Bennett struck out 2 in 2 scoreless innings but walked 3, and Tyler “Warren” Buffett struck out 3 in 2 innings. Miles “James” Gordon continued his spectacular 2017 season by going 2 for 4 with a double and a walk. Stu Fairchild also single and walked.

Billings will play again tonight at 7:00 PM MT with Packy Naughton on the mound.

The Baby Reds were losing to the Baby Doders 12 to 1 when I finally gave up. There is little to nothing to write about. Justin Bellinger did pull a Cody by hitting a solo dinger. Speaking of Bellingers. The Dodgers put Cody Bellinger on the DL and called up former Cincinnati farm hand relief pitcher Josh Ravin.