Last week, the Huffington Post covered a group of law enforcement officers who slammed Attorney General Eric Holder for releasing a marijuana policy memo stating the federal government will not block state laws that allow for the legalization of cannabis, such as in Colorado and Washington.

The Huff Post article wonderfully exposes how much these law enforcement agencies love suckling at the financial teet of cannabis prohibition. However, it took them 526 words to do so. Let me sum it up in their words, in just 230 words, and rest my case in the process:

Their story/air cover:

A broad coalition of law enforcement officers who have spent the past three decades waging an increasingly militarized drug war that has failed to reduce drug use doesn’t want to give up the fight. They slammed Attorney General Eric Holder in a joint letter Friday, expressing “extreme disappointment” at his announcement that the Department of Justice would allow Colorado and Washington to implement state laws that legalized recreational marijuana for adults.

Their motive:

Local law enforcement agencies rely heavily on the drug war for funding. Police departments are often able to keep a large portion of the assets they seize during drug raids, even if charges are never brought. And federal grants for drug war operations make up a sizable portion of local law enforcement funding.

Their case/best defense:

The letter warns that marijuana can cause suicidal thoughts, impairs driving and is a “gateway drug.” The missive does not, however, address the failure of law enforcement generally to reduce drug use, even while tripling the number of people behind bars. Instead, the police warn that liberalizing pot laws will lead to an increase in crime.

Mass suicides, uber gateway drug, reefer madness induced crime sprees, driving menaces dominating the road… Honestly, need I say anything at all / more? This is 2013, not 1936. Fuck off and find another way to fund your departments that doesn’t destroy the lives of innocent citizens.