IT’S a worrying sign when a referee tells the Brumbies and Wallabies captain to show some leadership.

But that’s what it’s come to.

In a season of frustration, referees seem to have had enough of Australian players pestering them throughout matches.

In the Brumbies’ quarter-final loss to the Highlanders, Australian referee Angus Gardner lost his patience with Stephen Moore.

“Mate, what I need is some leadership from you, OK?”

‘You can’t come running at me at every single penalty saying ‘it’s a yellow card,’ alright?

“It’s the first time you’ve been down here this half, and they’ve given away a penalty, alright, so just relax, please.”

The Brumbies suffered a controversial loss in that match after Lausi Taliauli’s potential game-winning try was denied by Gardner and the TMO.

Pleas for penalty tries after repeated scrum collapses were also ignored despite obvious dominance at the set-piece.

Brumbies assistant coach Dan McKellar was later fined $10,000 — $5000 of it suspended — for using crude and insulting language towards Gardner after the match.

Stephen Moore shows his dejection as he leaves the field for the last time as a Brumbies player. Source: Getty Images

Rugby 360 co-host Rod Kafer — a former Brumbies and Wallabies star — said his former club were guilty of “poor decision making” in the quarter-final.

“We’ve all played and been out there and given a little bit of stick to the referee at times,” Kafer said.

“But I got the feeling that if the Brumbies hadn’t, earlier on, got under Angus Gardner’s skin so much, with what I’d describe as probably some poor decision making around what they were saying to the referee...

“Stephen Moore got chipped by the referee, quite deservedly, (Scott) Fardy’s yelling... if that had happened towards the end of the game and they’d actually made the plea ‘that’s a try or that’s a scrum penalty,’ they might have got a bit more joy.”

Speaking on Rugby 360, new Reds coach Nick Stiles agreed with Kafer’s assessment.

Stiles will have Moore in his playing ranks next season.

“Mick (Byrne) and I are both staffed up in Ballymore and so are the Australian Rugby Union referees,” Stiles said.

“I know talking to Scott Young (Australia’s referees boss) — and I think you’ve had a chat to him as well — it’s just that how the Australian players manage the referees, it does create a bit of an issue.”

Stephen Moore and Richie McCaw chew the fat with referee Nigel Owens in the 2015 World Cup final. Source: News Corp Australia

Gardner is not alone in his frustration with Moore and Australian players.

During last year’s Rugby World Cup final, Welsh referee Nigel Owens repeatedly waved away Moore’s approaches.

“Stephen, thank you,” said Owens, the 2015 world referee of the year.

“Off you go, off you go, please.”

Three months earlier, Owens told Moore to walk away after a scrum collapse in the a Bledisloe Cup Test at Eden Park.

It followed an earlier complaint in the match from All Blacks captain Richie McCaw.

Owens’ reply to McCaw?

“I’ll have a look at the next one, OK.”

And in this year’s second June Test against England, respected referee Craig Joubert overturned an England penalty and instead pinged Moore for inflaming an early scuffle between the two teams.

“Not now, Stephen,” Joubert told the Wallabies captain, before blowing his whistle.

Leadership is a big issue with Australian rugby. Source: Getty Images

Foxsports.com.au spoke to former Brumbies and Wallabies captain Stirling Mortlock about the refereeing issue.

Mortlock highlighted just how crucial it was to have the whistleblowers onside.

“The way that our leaders and captains talk to referees is incredibly important in, hopefully, helping the national team or provincial team get a bit more of the rub of the green because at the end of the day referees are human,” Mortlock said.

For years Australian fans watched in frustration as All Blacks captain Richie McCaw pushed rugby’s breakdown laws to their limit.

More often than not, Test rugby’s most capped player got the benefit of the doubt from referees — but that wasn’t always the case.

In an interview with the New Zealand Herald, All Blacks coach Steve Hansen said McCaw’s ability to enjoy good relationships with referees grew over time.

“As a leader, he copped a bit of flak in ‘07,” Hansen said.

“In my mind, leaders aren’t made, they are grown.

“You’re not born a leader, you learn through your experiences, and a lot of those experiences can be negative ones that you have to learn pretty sharply from.”

All Blacks mental skills coach Gilbert Enoka with captain Richie McCaw. Source: Getty Images

For New Zealand teams, leadership is a massive focus.

For more than a decade, the All Blacks have employed Gilbert Enoka as their mental skills coach, where he’s been closely aligned with Hansen and the playing group.

The leadership and culture of the team has been an evolving process.

World Cup-winning Wallabies captains Nick Farr-Jones and John Eales mastered the art of leadership.

But Mortlock, who led the Wallabies in 29 Tests, said he often struggled with the captaincy and, as an outside centre, felt he was too far away from the referees’ ear.

“I was a bit more of an emotional player and sometimes — no matter how much I tried to retain my composure and speak as calm as possible, in a tone that really reflected respect and everything else you want to with a referee — at times I found that difficult,” Mortlock said.

“Your demeanour, your body language and your tone are really important when you’re dealing with a referee and it’s something that throughout my career I did struggle with.”

Worryingly, Mortlock believed Australian captains and players were losing respect with referees.

“More often than not, I think we are,” Mortlock said.

“I think, generically, across the board, we are way behind New Zealand teams on what they’re doing to get their players and their teams at an elite level, and the mental approach, they’re vastly ahead.

“How they indoctrinate their captains and how they get them to the detail and how they speak to referees, we’re lagging behind.

Former Wallabies captain Stirling Mortlock on the charge against England. Source: AP

“It seems as though they have more of a program around that.

“I know from experience, when I was captain, we did put time into preparation and how you spoke to the referee and everything else because it is so important.”

There’s no doubt that Moore has strong leadership qualities.

Speaking out against Jacques Potgieter’s homophobic slurs in 2015 was just one example.

He is widely respected by his teammates, and his resilience and determination to play more than 150 Super Rugby matches and 100 Tests is testament to his dedication to the game.

“(Leadership) is an art form and it is a skill, and I think you’ve got to put a bit of time and effort in to reap the rewards,” Mortlock said.

Fox Sports Lab statistics back up Australian fears.

The Brumbies were the most penalised Australian team in Super Rugby, pinged 147 times.

And the Wallabies ranked second in the most-penalised Test teams during the June window.

Australia was penalised 33 times, behind only Argentina (35) and ahead of South Africa, New Zealand, Ireland, France, England and Wales.

ON THE BOX

Sean Maloney, George Gregan and Andrew Mehrtens combine to host The

‘Other’ Rugby Show on Fox Sports 2 from Wednesday 7.30pm, with American comedy legend Michael Winslow joining Stephen Hoiles for ‘Five Burning Questions.’

Then Rugby 360 returns from 8pm, with Nick Phipps and Ben Daley joining Greg Martin and Rod Kafer at the desk for players night.

The team will preview the weekend’s action, analyse the All Blacks squad announced this week, and discuss the latest news from the Wallabies camp.