Dear readers,

I would like to briefly draw your attention to one of the most sinful activities associated with the internet. You are on the internet right now, so you might feel the urge to engage in this sinful act. The act I am speaking of is the act of masturbation. Well friends, masturbation is murder, not just of the sperm that you ejaculate, but also because of the damage it does to your grace. Masturbation is a sin. Sin marks the demise of the soul, unless you are saved by Jesus.

The Bible says that it is better for your seed to fall in the belly of a whore than on the ground. This shows that the act of masturbation is more sinful than the act of prostitution or adultery. This is an important point. Jerking yourself off is MORE SINFUL than sleeping with a prostitute! It is also more sinful, I would hazard, than sodomy. Why? Because when you are masturbating, at home, in your mother’s basement, on your computer with the lights low, nothing can stop the disturbing, sinful thoughts racing through your mind. At least when you’re with somebody, they can give you a weird look if you start talking about bestiality. This society is so sinful that donkey shows and “interspecies erotica” are considered good forms of entertainment. This must change America. Change it!

Repent America! Repent! Reject masturbation. Stop doing the Hand Shammy. Stop doing the banana dance. Stop choking the wild turkey. And most importantly, change your society. Reject donkey shows and man on dog! Reject sodomy. Reject blumpkins and bad habits. Reject ALL of Satan’s works. Then, only then, can America re-assert its dominance as the world’s leading Christian nation.

Why has American influence been on the decline over the last few decades? Because of the increase in pornography, masturbation, and perverts in this nation! America is losing its masculine Christian essence because our youth are being allowed to spill their seed wherever they desire. Stop it America. Stop it! Masturbation is nothing less than the murder of the American nation. We must stop it.