PHOENIX (The Borowitz Report)—Arizona Governor Jan Brewer vetoed a controversial anti-gay bill last night, telling reporters, “Let’s focus on discriminating against Mexicans.”

Governor Brewer said that while “the intentions behind this bill were obviously excellent,” she was worried that the bill “would distract us from our main mission of harassing, tormenting, and otherwise making life miserable for Mexicans.”

Although Governor Brewer said that she could foresee a time when Arizona might “branch out into discriminating against gays,” the decision to veto the anti-gay bill in the name of anti-immigrant pride was not difficult: “Arizona needs to stick to what it does best.”

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Photograph by Ross D. Franklin/AP.