People use bongs (aka water pipes) because they cool off the smoke and make it easier on your throat and lungs. Bongs work amazingly well with vapor too, but you hardly need a large or expensive bong for the amount that comes out of a vape pen. I came up with this design for my wife Felicity. Felicity has allergies and lung problems and can absolutely not smoke, but occasionally needs a quick hit of indica for panic attacks. She’s used my vape pens (with good CO2 oil and wax only!) but is always concerned about coughing. So, after running all over the place looking for the diamond-studded hole saw I bought for my somewhat-epic “How To Make Your Own Bong” article, I was finally able to put this all together. The balsamic vinegar was even on sale, so the parts for one cost less than $4!

Here’s what you’ll need:

About 6″ (or 15 centipedes) of thick hose that snugly fits the mouthpiece of any vape pen you happen to have. I just happen to have two very common ones and a piece of 3/8″ ID air hose happened to fit them both. Take your clean mouthpieces (by themselves, if possible, to avoid embarrassing questions, which you could always answer with “science project”) down to your local hardware store to find the right hose. The stuff I got was $0.99/foot, the minimum they will sell you.

A diamond-tipped hole saw that will fit the OD (outside diameter) of the hose you bought. It will probably be around 5/8″, so here’s a random listing on Ebay selling them for less than $3 apiece.

Star brand balsamic vinegar. The tiny (250 ml.) bottle I bought is the perfect size for use with a vape pen or for stealth, but they have larger (and more stable) sizes available if you want to actually smoke out of it.

The steps are fairly simple:

Open the bottle, pry off the plastic insert that lets the vinegar flow smoothly onto your salad, and pour the contents into another bottle (it’s food, don’t waste it!). Recycle the cap and the insert. Fill the bottle with cold water, and then drill the hole using a battery-powered drill at high speed using eye protection on a plain portion of the upper surface (away from the embossed logos) so that the hose will end up at about a 45° angle. Use the safety instructions I wrote up here! Wash out the bottle carefully and remove all the glass powder and etc. Stick the hose in the bottle. If it’s not a tight fit, wrap it with some electrical (or better: silicone repair) tape until it stays in nicely. Now fill it with water up to the hole, stick your vape pen in the end, hit the button, and inhale! If you’re a smoker and not a vaper, I recommend a 3/4″ hole, a grommet to fit, and a 14mm downstem that nicely fits your bottle of choice. But in an emergency, you could stick the proverbial trumpet mouthpiece in/over the end.

So of course I gave Felicity the first shot at this thing. She took a huge hit and didn’t cough at all. Then I took a huge hit and only coughed twice, but I didn’t really even feel the vapor in my throat the way I usually do. Such a big hit usually triggers a full-on coughing fit for me, so I think it was quite a success!