Senior Staff and Scene Staff

Almost 2,000 wide-eyed freshmen will be descending upon the South 40 today for orientation, and while many of them have already spent some time on campus, none of them truly know yet what it’s like to be a student at Wash. U. Here, senior staff and scene staff have summed up the most defining experiences of a Wash. U. student.

1. You’re used to explaining where Wash. U. is (and, sometimes, where St. Louis is), unless you’re with your doctor or your rabbi.

2. You creep on people in Whispers from above.

3. You taunt b-schoolers with “b-school, preschool” while they laugh about how they will actually be employed some day.

4. You spend Friday nights enjoying the gnocchi and Bananas Foster at Ibby’s when, let’s be real, you should be eating pizza and drinking cheap beer.

5. You’ve tried, without success, to explain to your high school friends what Thurtene is.



Veronica Jong | Student Life

6. You’ve used Bear Bucks to buy a drink at Three Kings (possibly when you were not quite 21).

7. You know who Kit Mao is and mourn her retirement, regardless of whether or not you took GenChem.

8. You’ve done WebWork while white-girl-wasted.

9. The only thing you’ve ever used a cafeteria tray for is sledding down Art Hill in the winter.

10. SHS has told you that your cough/sore throat/identity crisis is most likely mono and/or a pregnancy.

11. You went to a frat party (Heaven and Hell, anyone?) with your entire freshman floor at some point during your first semester on campus.

12. …But now, you know that student group parties are better than frat parties and that a cappella groups are frattier than the frats.

13. You excel at snagging food from BD brunch, even after the bracelet-sharing crackdown.

14. You’ve heard more bear puns than you ever thought possible–including puns in other languages.

15. You or someone you know gave up on pre-med and switched to the b-school.

16. You know that people are never actually going to Schnucks for “breakfast food.”

17. You can’t name the quarterback of the football team.

18. Peggy Smith emails always brighten your day.

19. You’ve had an argument over whether Peggy Smith is a real person (she is!).

20. You’ve gotten into a fight in the comments on an “Overheard at Wash U” post.

21. The most social activism you’ve displayed during your college career came in last year’s Boo Boo/rabies controversy.

22. You complain about SPB’s pick for W.I.L.D. almost every semester, even though you know you’ll barely remember the concert the next day.



Brian Benton | Student Life

23. You’re sick of the Loop.

24. You’ve thought of creative ways to get disability housing priority.

25. Paws & Go food prices outrage you even though you have 200 extra meal points.

26. If there’s someone tailgating in the b-school parking lot, you know it’s the away team.

27. You now know everything about Westchester County.

28. You know what Harry’s is but you have no idea where it is, even if you’ve been there.

29. You laugh when you hear tour guides tell visiting students that everyone meets up at the bunny. Has that ever really happened?

30. You know that Wash. U. has its quirks but could never dream of going to school anywhere else.