Prediction time! I’ve never actually done one of these. Usually I just write about what I think sucks or some other hot button issue, and man have dem buttons been SPICY lately. We go titles changing left and right. People going down sick, people getting fired and old folks getting a sixth or seventh run at glory!

However, it would be remiss of me if I did not discuss the end of all our suffering.

I know I’m being a bit dramatic about this, but I had begun to view Jinder’s title reign as something of a wrestling equivalent to the Trump Presidency. It was shitty, and embarrassment and no matter what I did I was helpless to improve the situation. Then finally, FINALLY, they pulled the trigger and A.J. was able to swoop in and instantly make the title feel important again. It was hard not to just feel happy about the whole situation.

I would also be remiss not to mention the return of WARGAMES this weekend. Here’s the thing, back when I was getting deep into wrestling. Like DEEP. Like, using Kazaa to download random matches with names I recognized, and learning about Japanese guys like Jushin Thunder Liger and Tiger Mask for the first time deep. That is how I saw my first Wargames match. It was a good one! The best one most people say, between Sting’s Squadron and the Dangerous Alliance.

I remember being surprised at how visceral the match was. It really wasn’t a super complicated match; there weren’t a ton of moves. It was one guy after the other running in and beating the shit out of the people that were already there. You started mostly keeping track of how long it took the next guy in to get bloody. It had that classic NWA bloodbath feel to it. The match ended on an armbar of all things. This was about the time that the Canadian Destroyer was coming into prominence, so it was weird to see someone go down after getting hit in the arm with a foreign object and then just getting the arm cranked till you quit. For pro-wrestling, it was one of the more realistic displays of simulated combat that I had ever seen up to that point.

That is what makes me worried about nXt’s foray into Wargames territory. They can’t bleed, there are three teams, and (probably the worst part actually) you can win by pinfall. Much like contemporary Hell in a Cells, this match seems like it’s going to be decidedly less brutal than those of old. I don’t want to be the guy that shits on the PG product, but certain matches need blood, and these big, hellacious cage bouts are those. Even great matches like Usos vs New Day at last month’s HIAC seem a bit tame compared to Batista getting nailed with a barbed-wire wrapped chair by a blood soaked Triple H. I don’t know if it’s going to work. That said, there are a lot of talented vets in there, and a few HOSS destroyers, so we’ll see.

Now, moving on. Survivor Series. The bastard step-child of the big 4. The ONLY TIME OF THE YEAR RAW AND SMACKDOWN FACE EACHOTHER! Except Royal Rumble and also all those other times and when we need someone to cover for injury and whenever John Cena wants to fight someone. BUT OTHER THAN THAT. Seriously though, last year’s Survivor Series was one of the most fun hours in wrestling. It was a long match with tons of story and great action. Can this year’s match get to that height again? Let’s run down.

Cruiserweight Champion Enzo Amore vs Kalisto – Winner: Enzo Amore

I really like Kalisto. I think he’s incredibly talented in the ring, plus he’s a Chicago guy, so I’m generally predisposed towards him. That said, he’s pretty much the worst on the mic. Don’t get me wrong, Rey was not exactly Stone Cold either, but he managed to string together some solid babyface promos in his day. Enzo’s annoying, and not the best worker, but I’ll say this, he doesn’t make me want to turn the channel, and that makes him an effective heel. Plus you have Cedric Alexander, Rich Swann, TJP, Mustafa Ali, Tozawa and others ready to go as viable babyface challengers, and plenty of heels like Kendrick or Galagher for Kalisto to work on. Unless they plan on stringing this feud along, I’m gonna guess that this is gonna end in a pretty decisive victory for Enzo.

Intercontinental Champion the Miz vs United States Champion Baron Corbin – Winner: Miz

Everywhere I read people are telling me about Baron Corbin’s great potential and look. Here’s the thing, I don’t fucking see it. I just don’t. Aside from two bomb-ass moves what else does he have? His indie-killer gimmick back in nXt was pretty cool, but the thing is, he hasn’t shown he’s good enough to throw any solid wins his way. As for his “great look,” he looks like the human embodiment of the graphic tee section at Walmart. His hair is terrible. He doesn’t look particularly imposing past his height.

And the thing that sucks the most about him is that he’s one of those dicks that would read that critique and just go, “but what can YOU do in the ring, pussy!” Nothing. I can do nothing. I’ve never claimed I could do anything. I am a mark. It is not my job to be a professional wrestler. Comparing yourself to me accomplishes nothing and makes you look like a douchebag. It is your job to entertain me in some fashion, whether it be you make me hate you or love you. Right now, your matches are what I skip past to save time.

Miz on the other hand has basically be Edge for the past two years, and has been great. His Twitter owning of Corbin in this feud has been phenomenal. If there is any justice in the world, next time they do a draft or shake up or whatever, these shows will trade titles and Miz will be put in a long ass feud with AJ.

I see Miz winning via shinanigans. Miztourage, or, given the social media juice behind this feud, Maryse will get involved.

Raw Tag Team Champions the Bar vs SmackDown Tag Team Champions the Usos – Winner: The Bar.

With the big Shield vs. New Day match on the card, I feel like people are sleeping on this one. They really shouldn’t as these two teams have been in some of the most exciting matches this year. It’s amazing how many pay-per-views this year that could be summed up with “it was pretty shitty, but the tag match was really good.” These two teams were often in those matches!

Also, it’s a great styles clash! Speedy Usos vs the powerhouse Bar! They’re both heels, but the Usos have gotten enough rub from their “mutual respect” thing from the New Day that they could easily play the face in peril for this match.

For me, this is the biggest toss up to pick. On the one hand, the Usos are the more experienced team, and just beat the New Day, so you might want to keep the momentum going. That said, they’re also the team that could better survive the loss. The Bar just won their belts in dirty fashion, and don’t have the tag team pedigree that the Usos have. For that reason I have to go with the Bar.

Raw Women’s Champion Alexa Bliss vs SmackDown Women’s Champion Charlotte Flair – Winner: Charlotte Flair

I wonder how they’re going to do this match. It’s always hard when a smaller heel goes against a more physically imposing babyface. Plus, Bliss’s muscle is already booked in the Women’s Survivor Series match, so she probably won’t get involved. For that reason I’m going to go with Flair. Plus Bliss has been a great chicken shit heel, so I think she can survive the loss and still be an imposing threat when she gets Nia back.

The Shield vs. The New Day – Winner: The New Day.

This is probably my biggest stretch on a pick. The Shield have been built as the most powerful force in wrestling. All three have been world champs, two of them multiple times. They’ve been at the top of the card since they split.

That said, New Day have been a team longer. You can tell a story where they just know each other better. Their offense flows together. You can plant seeds of frustration in the Shield that won’t be there with the New Day.

Plus the New Day, though faces, cheat, ALL THE FUCKING TIME. They’ve got that Eddie Guerrero kind of immunity where they can cheat and get cheered because it’s funny as hell. I see them cheating here and winning the match…..plusIstoppedwatchingwrestlingforthechunkoftimethattheShieldgotbigandneverreallygotattachedtothemsoIdontreallylikethembuthavealwaysenjoyedKofi#Kofi4WWEChamp…BUT I DIGRESS.

Universal Champion Brock Lesnar vs. WWE Champion A.J. Styles – Winner: Brock Lesnar

Man, look at how crazy a week can change things. AJ managed to beat the most protected finisher in the WWE, the Singh Brothers, to become the WWE Champion. We all breathed a sigh of relief. Any SmackDown pay-per-view was hampered by the fact that the main event was going to suck. Don’t get me wrong, I still watched with the hopes that Nakamura was going to win the title, but got no enjoyment from any of the matches.

I was explaining this to my wife when she asked me “do you think that Jinder’s a worse champ than Roman Reigns? Cause everyone seems to hate him.” If someone asked me to find 10 good Roman matches on the network, I could easily do it. Say what you want about him being boring and slammed down our throats, but he is actually a good in ring performer. Yeah he has some stinkers, but he also has some top notch matches under his belt.

I’ve not seen one Jinder Mahal match I’d want to see more than once, and most of the time I wouldn’t want to see it once. He reminds me of guys like Luther Reigns that just kind of were there and looked scary but just were flat in the ring. He just doesn’t have the ability to put on a show.

And now we’re going to get a show! Brock rises to the occasion against good opponents. I’ve not been a big fan of “Suplex City” Brock, but if he wants to, he can do great things. AJ is a great opponent for him that will bump all over the place and make him look like a monster. They could structure this match a lot like any of the HBK vs Taker matches and it would work. Just so long as Brock wants it to go like that.

I’d love to see AJ get this win, but they’re building Brock as nigh unbeatable. I’d also prefer a clean finish, but Jinder has been conspicuous by his absence. I sense a run in by Jinder and the Singhs that will ultimately cost AJ the match.

Women’s Traditional Survivor Series Match – Winner: Team SmackDown

It’ll be interesting to see how this match plays out. You look at the match ups and they’re pretty great, and if there is one type of match the women’s roster has got practice at this year, it’s the elimination matches! I think they’re going to follow the trend of past elimination matches and get the hosses out of the way early. Look to see gangups on Tamina and Nia pretty quick.

Everyone also expected this to be Paige’s return match. Since that didn’t happen, but they have her around, I think they’re looking to get a surprise here. Either she’s going to run in and help win the match for Raw, or she’s going to be Charlotte’s replacement on Team SmackDown. I’m going with Paige replacing Charlotte, and helping them win.

Men’s Traditional Survivor Series Match – Winner: Team Raw

I don’t know about this match you guys. Some of my favorite wrestlers of all time are in it but man…I just don’t know. When Kurt wasn’t doing his signature spots at TLC he looked awkward. I’ve seen some of his stuff since leaving TNA, but before coming back to WWE and while he had some good matches, they were usually his kind of matches. He still can put on a great match, but it needs to be a particular kind of match and I don’t know if something this chaotic fits the bill.

Now, it’s a tag match, so he’ll be protected, and Team SmackDown has three guys he’s worked extensively with in the past, so who knows. What really worries me though is the lack of storylines within the match. Last year’s match worked so well because there were tons of moving subplots within the match. Here, 2 of the participants were announced this week and haven’t wrestled on TV in months. Randy has nothing going on in this match. Shinsuke has nothing going on in this match. Roode has nothing going on in this match. Hell, Braun doesn’t have anything going into this match.

On the Raw side you have Finn and Joe with beef, and Kurt and Triple H have their thing with Jason Jordan. Kurt and Shane had some great stuff on Tuesday, so that’s good, but that can’t carry a 30-45 minute match.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a ton of talent in the ring for this thing. I am a fan of all of these guys (though I’ll never be able to forgive the Reign of Terror). They’ll probably make something happen.

I think KO and Sami…ehem, sorry, Sami and KO are going to cost the blue team. I don’t see how KO isn’t involved somehow given his push recently, and they need something to carry them going forward.

Match of the Night: Usos vs. The Bar

These guys have been lights out on their respective shows, and I think they have the best style match up other than maybe Brock and AJ. The only reason I think this will be better than Brock and AJ is because I’m almost 100% certain there won’t be interference here, and I’m not 100% certain Brock won’t phone it in.

Worst Match of the Night: Miz vs. Corbin

It’s gonna be slow. You want to get wasted? Take down a shot every time Corbin is described as “methodical.” Honestly, they should move this to the pre-show. This show is already going to be about 6 hours long, and every time they try moving a tag match there, it turns into a match of the night candidate. Can we please give the Miz something better to do? He’s been the work horse champ of Raw forever now, he should be rewarded.

Well that was long! So that’s what I think for this weekend. Let me know if you agree, and follow if you like what I write.