Church now less credible than concept of omnipotent superbeing, says Rowan Williams

Followings its rejection of women bishops, the Archbishop of Canterbury has said that the Church of England is now less credible than the insistence that a supernatural creator oversees the universe.

The Most Reverend Rowan Williams told the ruling general synod that the Church would now be seen as “wilfully blind” to modern trends and priorities as well as physics.

While 324 synod members voted for women bishops, church voting rules, which are centred around votes counting for sod all, mean 122 votes against were enough to block it.

“It’s hard enough being taken seriously when you’re asking people to put their faith in the existence of a superhuman that holds the ability to carry out acts which are logically impossible,” he said.

“But to deny women the opportunity to become bishops, well, it leaves us with a lot of explaining to do, which is something we don’t normally bother with.”

Women Bishops

Those in favour of women bishops have vented their anger at the outcome of the vote, with reports emerging of sporadic outbreaks of low-level hymns with acoustic guitar accompaniment.

The House of Laity, whose objections blocked the move, based their unwillingness to vote in favour of female bishops on their interpretation of the bible and also the standard of goalkeeping in women’s football.

A House of Laity spokesman, said: “Why did God create woman?”

“To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.”

“I’m here all week.”