For Alexzandra “Xza” Higgins, the 29 year-old mother of two who is behind the popular nationwide parenting convention MommyCon, the show must go on. That’s despite news of her estranged husband’s Nov. 5 arrest for possessing child pornography, upending any sense of normalcy — both at home and on the conference hall floor.

On Saturday, MommyCon returned to the Marriott Mission Valley in San Diego, albeit in much different form.

Last year’s sold-out affair drew a crowd of 850 people and 55 exhibitors. This year, attendance was still expected to reach as many as 650 people, but the vendor pool had been slashed to around 15, with more than 50 exhibitors pulling out in the days leading up to the conference. In addition, some speaker sessions, including one on Friday afternoon for attendees who paid extra for VIP privileges, were canceled, leaving empty gaps in the schedule.

It is, perhaps, a testament to Higgins’ reputation that anyone showed up at all.


The MommyCon team, which alerted conference-goers and fans about the Lake County, Ill., charges against Kevin Higgins on Facebook on Nov. 18 and 19, came under fire for withholding the information as long as it did.

And because of the controversy, the show’s female founder felt forced into disclosing details of her personal life that she never wanted to share publicly.

She was a victim, she wrote on Facebook, groomed since the age of 14 by the man she would eventually marry. The child porn images her husband was in possession of were actually shots of her taken when she was a minor, she said.

But the damage to the event she first started in 2012 had already been done.


“After seeing how everything went down on Facebook, I had to wonder, ‘Why didn’t they just cancel?’” said Kara Gibbs of Rancho Bernardo. Gibbs, who is 28 with three young kids, wrestled with her decision but ultimately chose to attend the San Diego convention. “I paid $160 for it. I didn’t get an email about a refund, so I figured I needed to come and get what I paid for.”

Alexzandra “Xza” Higgins, founder of MommyCon, is all smiles as she interacts with convention attendees Saturday at the Mission Valley Marriott Hotel. (Howard Lipin/The San Diego Union-Tribune)

Surely that’s not the mood Higgins, who has worked full-time on MommyCon since its inception and now employs a team of 10, had anticipated when organizing her 12th and final convention of 2019. But she’s choosing to focus on the positive.

“Yesterday, someone who has never attended one of our events before and who owns a yoga and meditation studio came out, and she volunteered stuff for the gift bags. And she’s going to (host a session): Stop, drop and yoga and guided meditation,” Higgins said. “These are the things we know our audience loves.”


Also still on agenda were sessions on potty training, baby wearing and infant nutrition. In the exhibit hall, moms with infants in tow were browsing their options in the centralized baby-wearing lounge. Plus, the day’s scheduled sleep consultations for babies and toddlers were still on the agenda, providing sleep-deprived parents with some much-needed help and hope.

And though all seemed aware of the cloud hanging over event, many moms were unfazed by the drama.

“I got the emails explaining everything,” said Lemon Grove resident Shiann Singletary. The 25-year-old, first-time mom was enjoying her time at MommyCon. “Bad stuff happens. ... It doesn’t mean this (event) is bad.”

Dominique Pompey of Chula Vista holds her 5-month-old daughter, Mila Pompey, while attending MommyCon San Diego 2019 on Saturday at the Mission Valley Marriott Hotel. (Howard Lipin/The San Diego Union-Tribune)


Still, it’s too early know if Higgins’ personal problems will derail the business that started as a mommy meet-up when she was pregnant with her first son, who turns 8 this week. The MommyCon creator and Chicago resident declined to say whether her company would break even on the San Diego event, but noted that the already scheduled 2020 events remain in motion.

“I hope that through this experience I’ll be able to help moms who are going through a similar situation,” Higgins said. “Because our children need strong parents, and when a parent is incarcerated there are no resources available.”