Washington D.C.—

The Nobel Committee has once again offered to award the Nobel Peace Prize along with its million dollar reward to any Republican legislator who admits that Donald Trump is a terrible, illegitimate president, and calls for the impeachment process to begin.

“There is something very wrong with Mr. Trump,” explained Nobel Committee Chairman Arvid Olson. “This guy should not have nukes. This guy should not be making governmental decisions. This commander-in-chief’s military handling is laissez-faire in a manner that will undoubtedly result in some epic military clusterf*** for which he will not take responsibility. Donald Trump is such an impulsive, ultra-sensitive loser and inappropriate president that literally nothing could make the world more safe and peaceful than his concise, total, and immediate removal from the White House. Literally any Republican who is in Congress that starts the GOP push for the impeachment of their own party’s president will instantly be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. A million dollars is attached to that, by the way. And this is the second time we are offering… I’m not sure why this is a difficult decision. One single Republican has to grow the balls to do it, that’s all we ask. A million dollars, folks. Think about it.”

Thanks for the comment, Mr. Olson.

(Picture courtesy of Isaac Mao.)

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