Good morning, Worst Fans in Football. How are you doing today?

Not well, I suppose. You were called out by Isaac Bruce, weren’t you? He warned you to start selling out games lest you lose your team.

Let me add to Rev. Ike’s message. Don’t groan. These are things you need to hear, Worst Fans in Football. I come into the paper on Sunday to write a column for Monday and I see some of you tailgating across the street. You look like you’re having fun. Grilling burgers. Chatting with friends. Drinking beer.

Beer?

That’s what the Best Fans in Baseball drink. They have good reason to. Their team was once owned by a brewery. Their stadium is named after a beer.

You owe your loyalty to Stan Kroenke. He is not about beer. He owns the Screaming Eagle Winery in Napa Valley. Why are you disrespecting him by drinking beer, Worst Fans in Football?

I am not necessarily suggesting you have to drink his wine. It’s expensive.

You used to be able to get a nice bottle of 2007 Screaming Eagle cabernet for less than two grand. Then wine connoisseur Robert Parker raised its rating from 96-98 to a perfect 100, and this spring, it was selling for $3,398.