The problem is that a lot of these quotes have been misused so badly and for so long that they mean the opposite of what most people think. Hell, at this point, using them correctly would confuse people. We're talking about famous quotes like ...

If you want to sound smart in front of your peers, pepper your conversations with famous quotes from Shakespeare or some other old-timey genius. After all, why bumble your way through clumsy sentences about why it's necessary to adjust to the social norms of the local populace when you can just say "When in Rome ..." and nod sagely?

6 "This Above All: To Thine Own Self Be True."

This pithy aphorism from Hamlet assures us that no matter what, you should never change who you are. Be true to yourself and everything will be all right. Ignore the haters! Variations on the theme have been quoted by artists such as Alanis Morissette, Van Morrison, and Dolly Parton. It is a popular choice for tattoos, and is prominently displayed on Alcoholics Anonymous coins, which is a confusing message to give an addict, if you think about it.

Alcoholics Anonymous

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"Hookers and Jim Beam it is!"

The Real Meaning:

The source of this quote is the character Polonius. Polonius is the chief counselor to the villainous king, and a complete and utter nincompoop. He is reviled for his gasbaggery by all other members of the court, the queen can barely endure his speeches, and Hamlet openly calls him a damn fool before ultimately stabbing him to death by accident.

You wouldn't expect a character like that to sprout out hippie mantras about following your dreams, largely because he never did. Back in the Elizabethan days, the phrase wasn't the New Age wisdom it is today. Shakespeare's use of "self" would better be translated here as "your interests," and "true" should be taken to mean "loyal." So "This above all: To thine own self be true" actually means "Be loyal to your own interests above everything else" -- aka "Cover your ass at all costs."

Nicolai Abraham Abildgaard

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Hamlet clearly didn't.

Which, to be fair, isn't a bad motto, provided you're a 1980s investment banker. Still, we can't help but feel that at least one of our more free-spirited readers is now frantically googling "laser tattoo removal."

And while we're on misused Shakespeare ...