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As a teenager growing up in London with a Welsh father and English mother, I took a great interest in the unravelling of the British Empire.

I followed avidly the news of countries that had recently become independent. Sometimes the focus was on internal conflicts, with presidents overthrown and the civil unrest that accompanied that.

But there were also reports about idealistic leaders, some of whom had been imprisoned by the British during their countries’ independence struggles, trying to forge a progressive way forward for their nations.

It was a left-wing narrative, largely devoid of reference to religious extremism of the kind that has proved so painful for the world more recently. Such airbrushing may have been naive – it was easy to take the dominance in India of the largely secular Congress Party as a benevolent harbinger for the future – but it fitted in with my own adolescent idealism.

One issue that never cropped up in all my reading in this area was whether the recently independent nations could afford such a status.

Not once did I come across an example of “buyer’s remorse”, where the argument was put that such-and-such a country would have been better off if it had remained a British colony because it couldn’t afford to be independent.

While there were racists who wanted whites-only rule to continue in Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe), such a view derived from a wish to perpetuate a privileged and indeed exploitative position, rather than any sense that the country couldn’t afford to run its own affairs.

Elsewhere, French settlers in Algeria had opposed independence also out of self-interest.

For me, the notion that independence couldn’t be afforded only cropped up years later in the context of Wales.

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As a schoolboy I also took an interest in Welsh politics – such as it was – at a distance. My father was no Welsh nationalist, although he seemed proud to have been taught at Fishguard Grammar School by DJ Williams, one of the Penyberth Three who had been jailed for their symbolic burning of an RAF bombing school on the Llyn peninsula in 1936.

I remember being excited when Gwynfor Evans won the Carmarthen by-election in 1966. Although I wasn’t capable of rationalising my interest at the time, I think it derived from the same kind of empathy with small, newly independent nations that I’ve already referred to.

The school I went to encouraged independent thinking, and we were not subjected to the kind of heavy-handed British imperial propaganda that many of our contemporaries were – although for those who liked that sort of thing there was a cadet corps run by a crusty old teacher who had allegedly been a lieutenant colonel in the British Army.

My interest in literature drew me to James Joyce, who while not an overtly political writer has plenty of references in his books to the recent political history of Ireland.

In due course Michael Collins became one of my heroes. He wasn’t just a freedom fighter, but one who had a serious economic plan for Ireland, which would have prospered much more quickly if he had lived.

For Collins and many others like him, there was never any doubt that Ireland would be able to make its way in the world after throwing off the colonial yoke.

It’s difficult to imagine them having a late-night hand-wringing session at a safe house in Parnell Square, Dublin, wondering whether they should call off the campaign for independence because it was unaffordable.

“Let’s pack it in, boys, and carry on doffing our caps to the English king” is perhaps the unlikeliest sentence one could ever have heard from Michael Collins.

In Wales it’s a different story.

Many centuries of colonisation – both physical and mental – have resulted in a nation where most people have become estranged from the natural desire to govern themselves.

Winning rugby or football matches is great when it happens, but it’s no substitute for looking after one’s own affairs.

The establishment of the National Assembly 20 years ago created an opportunity for Wales to forge its own future – but at first only in a very tentative way and subject to severe restraints.

Today we have an uneasy situation where very important decisions affecting economic development and infrastructure projects are taken outside Wales. The decisions are often negative ones. Why should this be? Westminster politicians and Whitehall civil servants want to put a brake on further devolution – and in some cases reverse it. They want to control the fund that will replace European aid money if and when Brexit goes ahead.

Brexit poses a threat to the Welsh economy, but also to the future of the UK. As things stand, Scotland and Northern Ireland are more likely to break away than Wales.

If Wales were left as a small entity in a rump southern Britain – perhaps called EnglandandWales – the devolution project could grind to a halt in the face of overwhelming domination by our neighbour to the east. Is that what people want?

It might suit the 48% of Welsh residents aged 65 and over who said they were voting for the Brexit Party. Most of them weren’t born in Wales anyway.

But for younger people who believe in their country and want it to progress, such an outcome would be devastating.

Despite the fact that as many as 3,000 people recently marched through the centre of Cardiff in favour of independence, for many it remains a quest without credibility.

The claim that Wales could not afford to function as an independent state is deeply embedded.

Realistically, the only way of disproving the suggestion will be with robust economic arguments.

Three years ago Cardiff University’s Wales Governance Centre published a report showing that an independent Wales would have a budget deficit of £15bn.

The amount of tax raised within Wales would be enough to pay for the Welsh Government’s responsibilities – including the NHS, education and other local government services – but not enough to pay for the welfare budget, including pensions and other benefits, and a share of other UK-wide spending like defence and the justice system, for example.

Most countries run on a budget deficit. There’s no shame in it. But we all deserve to know the implications.

Late next month the Wales Governance Centre is due to publish an update on its report from 2016. I’m looking forward to reading it and adjusting my world view accordingly.

In the meantime, you can classify me as Indy Curious.