The last series of Top Gear was so dreadful that I'd almost forgotten there was going to be another one. Well, not so much forgotten, as lost interest in the whole idea. I was so unaware it was coming back that I missed last week's first programme in the new series, only catching up with the second show last night.

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And I have to say it was pretty appalling. I didn't want to dislike it, but I did, almost immediately. This new, overhauled, supposedly rejuvenated show is really the David Moyes of television programmes. Matt LeBlanc is a likeable enough chap, and he's certainly funny enough in Episodes, but he's not nearly commanding or funny enough to steer Top Gear. Having read very little about the production of the new series - having read far too much about the lead-up to the bewilderingly lamentable Chris Evans-led series last year, and having been (like nearly everyone else) disappointed - I had no idea who LeBlanc's co-pilots were this time around. But as soon as I started watching I realised that what we were effectively watching was LeBlanc and a comedy double act with two straight men, Chris Harris and Rory Reid.

The Top Gear format is a classic piece of port manteau television, but it should have been parked when the BBC made the unnecessary, politically motivated and financially ruinous decision to fire Jeremy Clarkson. Instead the producers have once again drafted in a generic celebrity and two Muggles who both look as though they have spent formative parts of their career working in local radio or children's TV.

Who knows, maybe they did. I know they're both car journalists who have done a bit of telly, and good luck to them. They were obviously part of the revamped show last year, but because Chris Evans took so much of the heat, they weren't really in the critics' firing line. But they will be this year, trust me. And while the series is only seven shows long, seven weeks is long enough to ruin a reputation.

Will I be watching it again? Obviously not. Instead I'll be waiting for the second series of The Grand Tour. And the worst thing about it? That's right, I could have been watching Crufts on the other side.

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