Heartbroken but strong in their faith: Gay couple wary of church attendance after rejection

MARYVILLE — A Blount County gay couple say their hearts were broken but their Christian faith remains strong after they were denied full membership in a nondenominational church.

Now Courtney and Jessica Wright are cautious, even scared, about stepping in any church.

The Wrights were told in late January they couldn’t become full-fledged “core” members of Faith Promise Church because they're homosexual. One of the church's core beliefs is that marriage is between a man and a woman.

The couple, married in August 2016, knew Faith Promise listed heterosexual-only marriage as a belief. But they say their homosexuality and marriage were never secret, and church members made them feel accepted and included for months.

"We felt like our relationship wasn't going to be a problem," Jessica Wright said.

She began attending the church's Blount County campus in November 2016. Courtney Wright began going around March 2017. Now Jessica says she wishes they were told earlier they couldn't be full members. That, she said, would have hurt less.

But the Wrights say they never got any sign they couldn’t be full members until they’d become vested in Faith Promise, accepted Jesus Christ and been baptized this January.

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A safe place

“Church is supposed to be your safe place, where you can go and not be judged,” Jessica Wright said.

The Wrights, each 27, thought they'd found that place at Faith Promise's Blount County location in a Maryville strip mall. Neither had been to church for years; each wanted to grow a relationship with God. Jessica went first, taking their daughter, 11, and son, 5.

“We were lost. We talked about getting close to God, about praying,” Jessica said. “We were trying to leave a lot of things in God’s hands at that time. I felt if we were going to talk about it that much, maybe it was time to find a church where we fit in.”

Courtney was leery. When she was 13, she was asked to leave a Blount County Baptist church because she dresses in boy clothes and wears her hair short. She's used to stares and whispers at her appearance. But she didn’t want to risk another church hurt.

“The first time I went was because I knew how much it meant to her and our kids,” Courtney said. “I wanted to be part of that family time on the weekend rather than staying at home and waiting for them to get home in the afternoon.”

Soon Courtney was enjoying church, too. The women agreed they wanted to be baptized, join the church and help with its activities. They hoped to invite friends — straight and gay — to Faith Promise.

"I have never been this passionate about church," Jessica said.

'You can't become core members'

A week after their baptism, the Wrights met with the Rev. Matt Grimes, ready to become what Faith Promise calls core members. Being core, or full, members would allow the couple to take "shepherding" roles from greeting visitors to helping in the nursery.

But Grimes told them they couldn't be core members and take on such roles because the church believes marriage is between a man and a woman.

"He was like, 'We really love you guys, but you can't be core members. You can be limited members, limited to what you can do,' " Courtney said. "They said their beliefs don't agree with our lifestyle choice. It's not a choice. You don't just wake up one day and say, 'I think I'm going to be attracted to women.'

"God doesn't love you in a limited amount. You don't get God in a limited amount," she said.

Stunned, the couple went into that Sunday, Jan. 28, service but left before it ended. "We just weren't comfortable anymore. It felt like someone had told us we were evicted," Jessica said.

Faith Promise pastors declined an interview request and didn't answer emailed questions from USA TODAY NETWORK - Tennessee. Executive Pastor Josh Whitehead responded with a statement.

“At Faith Promise we love and embrace all people because people are made in the image of God. We welcome anyone who desires to take their next step in search of the God of the Bible and invite them to be our guest at any of our campuses," Whitehead said in the statement. "Although we believe the Bible defines marriage, sharing this view is not a requirement to be a part of our faith community."

Hurt but faithful

The Wrights emphasize they weren't kicked out of church. "We were told, 'You can be there but not be there,' " Jessica said. After the Jan. 28 meeting, she emailed church leaders. "I said we were real people with real problems looking for real love and we found it and you took it away."

They shared Whitehead's emailed response to Jessica's email with USA TODAY NETWORK - Tennessee. "I understand that you feel let down by your church and I’m so sorry for this! Know that you are always welcome at Faith Promise, that you are loved and that our true desire is to love people and honor Christ and His Word at the same time," Whitehead replied.

The couple hope to reach other LGBT people about their experience. "So many people are afraid to come out because of their surroundings, because their family is going to disown them or they are not going to be allowed back in church," Jessica said. "Church is supposed to be their safe place, where they can go and be exactly who they are without judgment."

Other East Tennessee churches have invited them to services, but they're uncertain they'll go. They miss Sunday church and friends they made at Faith Promise. They're thinking of starting a small worship group, perhaps in Cades Cove.

"My faith hasn't faltered. It's probably gotten stronger," Courtney said. "But for me personally at this point ... I don't know if I will ever go back to church. I have a Bible, there are plenty of devotions. I can do my own serving of God without ... a piece of paper saying I'm a member of something."