Being single can be an advantage in life and work because people can organize their activities freely. Photo: IC



"Is it possible to live happily in China if I stay single my entire life?"



Twenty-seven-year-old bachelor Zhang Jie's reply to this question, which was posted on the question-and-answer website zhihu.com in February 2014, was the most popular response, which was "liked" more than 4,100 times.



"If you plan to do so, the most important thing is to have the ability and determination to acknowledge and accept yourself in a society where people are constantly pushed to get married," wrote Zhang, who lives in Ningbo, Zhejiang Province.



"Whether one is satisfied in life depends on whether his or her time is replenished by engaging in meaningful things: one's career, dreams, hobbies and interests." Chinese people have traditionally viewed lifelong bachelorhood unkindly, with derogatory labels like "leftover women" or "leftover men" commonly used to describe those who stay single above marriageable age.



Nevertheless, a trend has emerged in recent years, with more people in China's cities staying single for longer.



Between 2000 and 2010, the number of single-person households has doubled, according to China Family Development Report published by the National Health and Family Planning Commission (NHFPC) last May.



According to a feature piece by US sociologist Eric Klinenberg for the Guardian in 2012, the sharp increase in one-person households is consistent with social trends in other developed countries.



Citing data from Euromonitor International, Klinenberg notes that in the UK, 34 percent of households are inhabited by a single person; in the US, it is 27 percent, and in Japan, which historically has placed great cultural emphasis on family units, the number is 30 percent. China is among the countries with the fastest growth of single dwellers, according to the article.



Rather than seeing themselves as failures, more and more people in the country are embracing their single status as a personal choice, a fact that the NHFPC report acknowledged.



The report attributed the rise in single-person households to people spending longer for education, the prioritization of professional and personal achievements, and changing attitudes toward family and marriage.



Appeal of living solo



"Traditionally, Chinese people have placed a high value on family ties and the reproductive function of marriage," said Wu Shuping, author of Single in the City, an account of China's "leftover women" that has been translated into English.



"Having no offspring is seen as going against filial piety. But today, Chinese people's attitudes about marriage and romantic relationships have become more Western."



Because younger generations view marriage in terms of romantic compatibility, rather than something must be done in order to fulfill a filial duty to reproduce, more people are choosing to remain single, Wu explained.



"Being single can be an advantage in life and work because people can organize their activities freely, without the restrictions of family members," said Wu. "People who are single enjoy more freedom in terms of managing their own time."



Supporting Wu's argument is the popularization of the term "solo economy" in the Chinese media, describing the rising trend of people dining alone, traveling alone, and renting or buying small apartments to live in alone, which are filled with household appliances designed to be used only by one or two people.



At the same time, as Klinenberg argues in his book Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone, living alone does not necessarily mean leading a solitary life of isolation.



Published in Chinese translation in February, Klinenberg argues in the book that single people today are passionately engaged in social life.



Contrary to popular views of single life being lonely, Klinenberg notes that compared to married couples, people who are single have a higher interest in eating out, exercising and involving themselves in community events, such as lectures and charity work.



Zhang, who is a writer, translator and Japanese teacher, said he lives a full life between his work and social engagements, which leaves little time for a girlfriend.



"I get up at 6:30 am, have breakfast, learn Spanish and start translation work at around 10 am. In the afternoon, I either go to teach Japanese or gym. I often arrive home at around 7 pm, after which I spend time reading or writing," he said of his daily routine.



"On the weekends, I gather with friends and attend reading salons."



Zhang published his first book, I love you, but I don't like you anymore, in January, a collection of essays about love and relationships.



Charlotte Han, a 26-year-old woman who works in the IT industry in Beijing, said at current stage she prioritizes spending her spare time on personal and professional growth to looking for a boyfriend.



Han regularly attends reading groups, lectures and artistic activities, and is a core leader of Lean In Beijing, a women's empowerment group inspired by Facebook chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg's book Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead.



The group encourages women to go further in their careers and personal lives.



"I believe these things are meaningful and worth spending time on," said Han.



"It enriches my life and empowers me to be more capable in various ways."



"For someone who is capable, being alone does not mean being lonely," said Wu.



















China has seen the rising trend of people dining alone, traveling alone, and renting or buying small apartments to live in alone. Photos: He Shan/GT



Online social life



Another factor that has contributed to single people being able to live alone without feeling isolated is the prevalence of online social media platforms in contemporary life.



"The Internet is an amusement park for lonely hearts," said 27-year-old IT worker Zheng Qiang.



Zheng lives in a rented apartment by himself in Beijing, and although he had girlfriends in the past, he said he hopes to stay single for his entire life.



Zheng confessed that he is often socially isolated, and frequently dines alone.



"I don't dare to go to buffets because the waiter will clear my table when I leave to refill my plate," said Zheng.



"I don't dare to go to hot pot restaurants, because of the strange stares I get for eating alone."



Instead, Zheng said he fulfils his need for social interaction and community online.



"I like sharing my opinions with others on public online forums like Zhihu and Baidu Tieba," said Zheng.



"On the Internet, we can express our true selves more thoroughly, whereas in reality, people often speak vaguely and insincerely."



Unlike some people, who will lie to their parents about having a boyfriend or girlfriend, or even pay money to someone to pose as a romantic partner to accompany them home for Spring Festival, Zheng said he has spoken openly with his parents about his choice to stay single.



"I'm a romantic idealist who desires a spiritual companion," said Zheng.



"I can't accept the idea of living with someone just for the sake of it."



Another advantage of living alone, said Zheng, was that it meant he had a smaller financial burden to fulfill, in not having to worry about supporting a wife or children.



"Because I live alone, it's easy for me to save money," said Zheng, who earns around 180,000 yuan ($29,001) per year. He said he isn't worried about not having children to support him financially when he is old.



"I'll be able to live on a government pension after I retire."



Wu said that with rising income and social welfare programs after retirement, one of the major reasons that Chinese people placed such importance on having children no longer exerted as much pressure.



"People now have a greater sense of security about retirement, because there are government pensions, and because some earn enough to be financially independent [after they retire]," said Wu.



Not afraid to die alone



Virginia Tan, a 31-year-old lawyer who is the lead organizer of Lean In Beijing, said she believes that being alone is the fundamental condition of life, a condition that persists even if one gets married.



"I always believe in being the best person that you can be, having the courage to pursue your dreams, and living life to the fullest and without regrets," said Tan.



"It is important to enjoy being in your own company, and not to be afraid of being on your own."



In Zhang's much liked reply to the question on zhihu.com about what is like to open a lifetime without getting married, Zhang gave the example of one of his Japanese students, a woman in her 50s who has never married.



Zhang said that based on her figure, appearance and temperament, she must have been quite an attractive woman when she was younger.



"Perhaps when she was in her 20s, she dreamed of finding a Prince Charming, like the ones depicted in movies and novels," said Zhang.



"Perhaps when she reached the age of 30, under pressure from family and society, she began to doubt the wisdom of her persistence in not marrying or compromising."



But when she reached 40, said Zhang, she realized that she might never marry, which came as a tremendous relief.



She realized that she might remain single her whole life, but she could still be happy.



"Now in her 50s, she is more determined in her choice to stay single, devoting her life to dancing, studying, writing and traveling."



Zhang said his student started learning Japanese in order to be able to read Japanese texts in their original language.



"Am I worried about being single my whole life?" asked Zhang.



"I'm not worried, because when I see the books in my room and the postcards I've received from friends around the world, I know that I'm not alone."