Let’s recap: This past weekend I signed my wife up for Tinder.

No, we’re not exploring an open relationship. You might remember that I’m kind of Internet retarded so I’m breaking out of my shell and exploring various social media outlets. I figured I’d sign up for Tinder to see what all the fuss is about. And by that, I mean I signed my wife up. I’m not putting my information out there. The internet is full of crazy people and you gotta stay safe.

So 2 hours into Tinder I realized something. I had no idea why the fuck I was doing this. There’s obvious comedy value in this column, but what is the end game? It’s great to be funny, but it’s better to do it with purpose. So here’s what I came up with.

The internet is filled with assholes. Most of these people are men and that sucks. Men on the internet who are assholes give other men on the internet who are not assholes a bad rep. One of the major tenants of manliness is to be a god damn gentleman. I’ve read a few articles written by women detailing how terrible online dating is for them and frankly, it kind of pisses me off. I am not a hardcore feminist by any means (the 19th amendment was a mistake), but I do believe in equality and respect. [EDIT: Rich, this last statement was a joke. I find it hilariously ironic that one could denounce the 19th amendment while in the same sentence state that one believes in equality and respect for women. Everyone should have the right to vote. Except the Jews. {EDIT: Rich, this last statement was too a joke. I have a great amount of respect for the Jewish people and their heritage. In fact, I hope to one day visit Adam Sandler’s house so that I can give him a wicked awesome hi-five and swim in his pool.}]

Anyway, Women deal with a lot of unnecessary bullshit from dumbass internet jockeys and somebody needs to be out there trying to balance the scales. So here I am. Trolling Tinder in the name of Justice.

Welcome to Tinder Tuesday.

Let’s start with a simple fact. My wife is hot and her profile picture is pretty key to understanding some of what is about to follow.

Photo credit: Atomic Cheesecake Studios

We started off strong.

And got worse.

This guy came out of the gate and basically called my wife a prostitute. I let her handle this one.

So far, the comments were pretty stupid, but nothing really went into full scumbag territory… Till this guy.

So then we got a little belligerent with some.

Also, guys are fucking stupid.

Apparently they do, Justin.

Thanks for tuning into the first weekly Tinder Tuesday. Yes, we will be back at the same time next week with some all new material. I think next week is going to get pretty random. Also, leave me some comments because you know… Tinder Tuesday!

PS. Like me on Facebook! facebook.com/lawsofmanliness