Being in yours 20s is fun. You can hustle, grind, date, make money, lose money, and travel with non-stop energy. Some people are really good at these things, some people are mediocre, and some people are just shit at everything.

The books below have helped me move from shit-at-everything to mediocre. You might be worse or better than when I started out but either way, these books will help you get to the next level. Just read, learn, and apply.

1. Grow A Badass Mindset : Growth Mindset by Carol Dweck

The message in this book is dead simple. Stop trying to prove yourself and start trying to grow. The mindset of proving yourself automatically assumes that you have something to prove. The mindset of learning and growing from your successes and failures means you’re open to admitting where you need to improve, and most importantly, put in the damn work to FIX IT.

I love this book because so much advice out there is like, “believe in yourself” or “don’t listen to what others say.” That’s stupid as hell! How are you going to get better without feedback? And if you’re going to believe in something, believe in your ability to learn, bounce bank, and work like a motherfucker to get better. That’s what this book will instill in you.

2. Take The Risk You Didn’t Before: Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

Daring Greatly breaks down what it means to be vulnerable, AKA take risks. To a lot of guys, that isn’t the most fun thing in the world, but being vulnerable is at the center for doing anything meaningful. Want to start a company? You need to be vulnerable and put your time and money on the line. Want ask a girl out? You need to be vulnerable and put yourself out there at the risk of rejection.

This book will show you how, when, and why taking risks is the only way to live a life full of meaning and purpose. I’m not messing around when I say this book can impact almost every aspect of your life, from business to friendships and, most importantly, love.

3. Become Charismatic as F$@#!: The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane

Let’s be real. Being able to walk in and own a room is a dope feeling. Sometimes I have it and sometimes I don’t, but I have it a lot more now after reading this book. Learning how to present yourself as a warm, happy, and worthwhile person is an invaluable skill — especially in your 20s — and Olivia Fox Cabane breaks down the process step-by-step.

It’s not the end-all, be-all, but simple tricks like wiggling your toes to be present in the room is a fantastic way to be more attentive to the people you’re talking to. And guess what? People are really everything in your career, and people like other people who make them feel good, which is a large part of charisma; this book shows you how to do that.

4. Develop Grit And Perseverance : The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

The core of this book, like the message found in Growth Mindset, is simple: Do the work.

Tired? Do the work. Don’t feel like it? Do the work. Scared? Do the work. The work is your savior, your stress reliever, and the only thing that will move you forward in whatever you’re doing. The principles found in this book are the same ones used by top CrossFit athletes and entrepreneurs. Read this book and start grinding.

Steven Pressfield has a no bull-shit attitude to getting stuff done. His thoughts on writing (“just write”) has been vetted by almost every author in the industry and this philosophy has saved my career multiple times.

5. The Definition Of Hustle : The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday

People have different definitions of hustle. It’s one thing to be able to work hard, but what happens when your boss is having second thoughts about your proposal or your client doesn’t think your offering is competitive anymore? These are both obstacles and your ability to use them to your advantage is the hustle.

Taking your time to read this book will teach you the process that countless other figures (General Douglas MacArthur) have used to overcome the obstacles they’ve faced in life. Business is more competitive than ever and your ability to hustle and overcome obstacles will be a major factor in moving ahead, let alone surviving.

6. Stop Swiping, Start Dating : What Women Want by Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller

Especially in your 20s, dating can be a total shit show. I live in NYC where everything wrong about dating is amplified to another degree. What this book helps you do is understand the dating process, what women are looking for, and how you can go about improving yourself to become that person.

My favorite part about this book is that it’s not any feel good, “just be confident” sort of nonsense. Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller do an exacting job of making sure you understand where you might be screwing up and where you need to improve. No shortcuts. No hacks. That being said, the advice found in this book requires hard work, just like anything else that’s worth it in life.

7. Deal With Your Emotions — The Trauma of Everyday Life by Mark Epstein

I debated quite a bit before including this book on the list. Not that it’s bad, in fact, it’s probably one of the most transformative but painful things you’ll ever read. Why is it painful? Because Mark Epstein’s writing forces you to examine your own emotions and come to terms with your messed up inner-self. This book’s main lesson is that the only way to overcome suffering is through suffering by accepting and feeling through the shittiness of your emotions and environment.

Emotions get a bad rap. A lot of tech and business advice is centered on “be rational” or “don’t let your emotions control you.” That doesn’t make sense. Your emotions are who you are as a person. How do you enjoy life? You feel joyful and meaningful. How do you know your relationship isn’t working? You feel the disconnect, the misery in staying with this person.

The men who avoid their emotions are the ones who have a mid life crisis and spend way too much money on a decked out motorcycle. Don’t be that guy. Deal with your emotions.