Cheating confessions: "I loved Jason, but when my sexy younger boss invited me back to his place, I couldn't help but say yes."

Infidelity in a relationship can leave you with many questions, especially the reason why it happened in the first place. We talked to Dr Rowan Burckhardt about the psychology behind why people cheat.

I’d been dating Jason on and off for four years. When I say ‘on and off’ it’s because we were always having fights, breaking up and getting back together. My girlfriends got sick and tired of hearing me complain about him or tell them about our most recent break up because they knew that, eventually, I’d be back with him again.

I really loved him but we clashed a lot. There was one time when we broke up over yet another petty fight and I didn’t hear from him for a couple of weeks. But he always came back.

During that two-week period I spent a lot of time with my boss, Alexander, who was a few years younger than me and very good looking. He had jet black hair, blue eyes and when he smiled he had a very distinctive dimple on his left cheek, which I found very adorable.

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The night my boss made a move

There was one night when I was staying late at work and as Alexander was leaving, he asked me why I was still at my desk. I told him I’d just broken up with my boyfriend and was not feeling great, so he offered to take me out for a drink.

I’ll admit that I didn’t think that Jason and I were really over – I knew it was only a matter of time before he’d come crawling back to me as usual. But I’d had a crush on Alexander for a long time and there was no way I was going to turn him down.

So he took me out for drinks, we flirted like crazy, started holding hands, then kissing, and then he drove me to his house (his wife was away on business). We had sex that night and it was pretty incredible - let’s just say he was very attentive and it was much, much better than sleeping with Jason.

Psst! For more juicy stories like this, why not check out exactly what happens if you decide to do the dirty with your child's dance teacher (hint: nothing good), or how a single piece of paper ended up destroying an entire marriage.

"We had sex and it was pretty incredible." Image: iStock.

The next day, Alexander told me he was in love with me

I was incredibly flattered but I told him that, although I was very much attracted to him, I couldn’t see it working – for starters, he was married! He told me he’d even consider ending things with his wife if I would definitely be with him. But I said I wasn’t sure. Then he convinced me to see him again that night and, once again, we fell into bed and it was amazing. Still, I decided I didn’t want to take things further because with Alexander it was all about lust, and with Jason, I knew it was ‘true love’.

I ended up being right – Jason and I reunited a couple of weeks later and this time he proposed! We made a real promise to each other that we’d stop all the arguing and really commit to each other.

Then, a couple of months later, I realised I was pregnant

Jason was over the moon as was my family … but I couldn’t help thinking that there was a huge possibility that my baby daddy was Alexander and not Jason. I tried not to think about it too much and just let myself enjoy my pregnancy. I’d wanted to be a mother for a very long time so I put Alexander out of my mind.

"Alexander told me he was in love with me." Image: iStock.

I knew right away he wasn't Jason's baby

My pregnancy went really well and I gave birth to my beautiful boy, Oscar, who was perfect and healthy. But I knew, right away, that he was not Jason’s baby – I could see Alexander. My baby had jet black hair, blue eyes and on the left cheek he had a deep dimple, which was quite pronounced, especially when he cried!

I also have dark hair but mine and Jason’s eyes are brown. There’s no explaining that dimple though.

Now Oscar is three, he really is the spitting image of his father

Luckily for me we moved interstate and Jason had never met Alexander so could never put two and two together, but I will never move back to Sydney. It’d be just my luck that we’d be out one day and bump into Alexander and Jason might be suspicious.

Will I ever tell him the truth? No, it would kill him. Would I ever tell Alexander the truth? No, never.

Yes, I have moments when I think I am a dreadful person but I believe I’m doing the right thing for my son and there is no reason he needs to know the truth right now. I might change my mind in the future, of course, but for now, I’m keeping the peace.

This article was originally published on 29.10.2018 and updated on 11.8.2020