The Jealous Shadow

. . .

Subaru woke up gasping, clutching his chest and heaving over his blankets struggling to breath. Flailing throughout the bed, he felt as if his very life force was being choked away by something invisible.

It was a familiar feeling that he thought was gone forever.

Blackness. It's all he saw now. Soon enough he was in the depths of his own mind. In this desolate world he saw nothing, and even deeper within he saw shadows within the nothingness. It was vague, but he could trace the outline of something, hiding shyly behind a miasma of envy, love and despair. A small but unmistakable voice escaped through the chasm of nothingness, reaching his deafened ears. It was staggered and faint, but clear enough to understand.

"… I love you."

The admission of love fell on deaf ears, and soon there was silence again. It was strange, the voice itself was familiar, but the words of love were not. It was as if he were hearing a puppet of someone very close to him be controlled by a ventriloquist. After a brief pause, he heard the voice once more, but this time it was more agitated than before.

"Why... did you separate from me? Why did you abandon me? Why did you run from me?"

The familiar voice echoed throughout the black corridors of the invisible walls which seemingly surround him. Her voice was a mixture of emotions, both sad and apologetic, but he could feel a tinge of anger, or distrust emanating from them.

"Why did you hide from me? Why… why… why… why... why… why… why… why… why… I want you. Don't you want me? Aren't I enough? Haven't I done enough? Is this enough? Is it… enough."

The words became more tormented and twisted as they spilled from the shadow. In this world there was no semblance of direction, time, or anything Subaru could identify. It was a world deeper inside him than his own subconscious, locked away from all interference from the rest of existence.

He floated toward the soft chime which beckoned him like only one other person could. It was a voice that was both foreign and as familiar as his own. It could be no one else.

"Emilia?" he questioned the sea of black. Nothing was given in return.

Abruptly, something gripped his throat. It was that welcoming suffocating feeling that he received every time he threatened to break the rules of his return by death. It tightened further, forcing his eyes to roll back into his head. With death knocking, he grasped the invisible arms sucking the life from his body. He tried to peel the fingers from his throat, but it was no use as they were of immeasurable strength. The vessels in his eyes finally popped from the stress, painting his eyes a blood red. Madly, he kicked, flailing helplessly as he began to lose consciousness.

"Stop… please…" he managed to choke out in a panicked, desperate shriek.

The grip loosened, and the silhouette behind the shadow slowly came into view, revealing herself to him. His bloodshot eyes widened, and he sucked in a vital breath of air no sooner before gasping it out in shock.

A thin woman who appeared no older than he exposed herself. Her dress which malformed from the blanketing shadows surrounding them pulsated around her. It reminded him of the beating of a heart, one stricken or pained from loss. Silver flowing hair dangled just beneath her shoulders. Solemn tears dripped steadily from her amethyst eyes. Her glowing pale skin contrasted so heavily with the pitch black that it threatened to blind him. Even so, as she was moments ago threatening to strangle his life away, her plush cheeks were painted with a rosy red color. Her blush signified she was either shy, anxious or embarrassed, something unimaginable to say the least.

Yes, this unique, unquestionable face of beauty belonged to one person dear to him and one person alone. It was that of the girl whom he depended on so dearly, the one whom he made love to just hours prior. Yet, something was different about her. Her face bore an expression so dismal and filled with sadness that it rivalled even his darkest moments. Gone was the cheery face of the one he held so close to his heart, replaced by someone who had clearly been through much despair.

"My name is... Satella." Her pure voice rung throughout his head, pulling him back to a moment long past.

They were standing on the balcony overlooking the slums of Lugnica. She dangled playfully over the railing, her hair flowing gracefully in the steady wind. She effortlessly painted the skyline with her beauty. Without her, this moment would be nothing. With her, any moment was of such consequence that he could remember every detail down to the cracks in the bricks beneath them. As he stood there silently, all he could think about was her intoxicating potent smell of jasmine, and the sheer impossibility of her loveliness. He spoke his request, and she turned to him slowly.

"I'm… Satella." she said it with no recognizable emotion, and mild hesitation.

Her spirit cat hovered quietly over her shoulder, watching her movements closely.

Suddenly, the Lugnica skyline warped harshly, and twisted into darkness. His eyes opened, and he again stood face to face with the reason of his existence.

Her piercing emerald pupils bore deep into his own bloodied eyes. She was only inches from him now. He could smell the heady scent of rich jasmine, something he had become quite accustomed to. She was as alluring and tantalizing as ever, something he could just reach out and touch without a moments thought.

She reached out one frail hand to finally touch him. After all this time, one touch is all she ever wanted. He flinched as her fingers brushed gently over his cheek. They were cold and clammy, probably from something akin to nervousness, or fright.

Was she afraid of him?

Don't be afraid, he thought.

He reached up and brushed his own hand over her own, squeezing it with both care and comfort. Her soft eyes burst wide open, as tears began to brim the corners, threatening to fall without a moment notice. Without warning she pulled back, and with great worry he reached out to her, but he was too late.

He heard a deafening sound, and he was wrenched from the depths of the darkness within his own mind.

Subaru shot up from his bed, beads of sweat brimming his forehead. Panicked, he looked around the cabin, gasping for breath. He was alone. Shakily, his hand reached up to touch his cheek, where her little hand had just rested seconds ago. It was still warm from the close contact.

The spot next to him where his lover lay was cold, and empty. It was unusual for her to leave his side, especially as he slept. It was still dusk outside, probably just before sunrise.

Subaru dressed himself, stood and walked over to the desk where Emilia's belongings lay just the night before. Of course, they were gone, and with no explanation or a letter to write why or where she had fled to.

Suddenly, Subaru could hear the rusted door knob jiggle behind him. He turned to face it as the door slowly propped itself open, revealing the girl of his worry.

Emilia looked at him with surprise, as if she had been caught in some sort of act. Unusually, she was dressed in her original white garb, along with her magical pointy eared cloak. Her eyes blinked at him inquisitively, wondering if he would speak. Her large amethyst eyes were a deep purple color, and just so, so beautiful.

Never mind that, he thought to himself. Sometimes it was a struggle to think clearly and consistently regarding her.

"Emilia." he walked over to her and held the door for her. "What are you doing out so early in the morning? I was worried for a moment… uh… Are you—"

"I was just out for a walk." she spoke curtly as she cut him off. She walked inside with soft footsteps and passed him. "Last night I was feeling uncomfortable for some reason. So, I went out to talk with the lesser-spirits. Normally I communicated with them every day… and it has been almost four days since my last meeting with them. They had… a lot to tell me."

Subaru kept quiet. Her voice was soft and unsure, like she had done something wrong. She hadn't, to be sure. She looked at him plainly now, her doe eyes wide but filled with caution. Slowly, he reached out his hand to touch hers—

"GAAAAAAAAAAH."

His blood curdling screams jolted Emilia from her haze. She jumped back as he fell chaotically to the ground, unsure of what to do. He was flailing wildly on the ground, seemingly assailed by something invisible.

"Subaru!" she rushed over and knelt beside him. "Subaru, please what is it? Please tell me what's wrong!"

He was pale as snow, heaving and unable to speak from the amount of pain he was experiencing. It felt as if his heart was being squashed between two powerful hands. Suddenly the pressure released itself, and the world came back into focus.

He shot up and crawled over to the corner of the room, hiding his pained face from Emilia. She stared at him with confusion. The shock on her face was easy for anyone to see.

"E-Emilia…" he coughed as his mouth filled with the taste of blood. "Stay away from me… please. Just… get away from me, now!

While breathing haggardly, he hoisted himself up. He stumbled and tripped over his own feet in a hurry, and raced madly out the door without any explanation or recourse for the silver-haired half elf he left behind.

She just watched him leave without any interference. As the door hung open, other patrons of the inn stood outside, wondering what all the fuss was about. They talked curiously amongst themselves, paying no attention to the small, frail girl left alone in the room.

Splayed out, she rested on her knees, shaking from the unexpectedness of it all. Hot tears streamed steadily down her cheeks, with no sign of ending.

"Subaru…" she cried. Now she was sobbing uncontrollably, and with nobody to comfort her.

"Please come back…"

There was no response.

"Don't leave me…"

"I have no one else."

"… Subaru?"

"You promised you wouldn't leave me. Ever."

"…"

"… Subaru, you liar."

. . .

Subaru fell on his hands and knees. Gasping for breath he stared at his barely visible reflection in the murky puddle beneath him. He looked like death, or something close to it. His eyes had sagging dark bags underneath them, and his face appeared as if it had aged considerably. He gave out and splashed down on his back, his chest rising and falling with a staggered lurch. His pained heart beat profusely, as if it were about to bust through his ribcage.

"Gahhh…" he tried to slow his breathing, but it had little effect.

Rolling over onto his side and propping himself up, Subaru looked around him. He had run as far as he could, straight through the forest where they came from. He had one destination in mind, a place where he had to get to, even if it meant his life. He didn't know why he wanted to go back there, but he just felt like he needed to. So, on he marched quietly, through crooks and crags, rivers and woods, he just kept walking himself to death. It was as if he wanted to die anyway, so that would only be a plus. He understood his death was inevitable, as this world he had so recently arrived in has given him nothing but death, except for the sweet nothing at the end of it all. Now, he couldn't even be close to the last person who mattered to him in this evil world. All that was left was memories, fading memories of people who had met their bloody end before himself.

No, that was wrong. He had died a thousand times before, what more was one last time? Their memories weren't fading either. He was lying to himself if he said that. Their faces were burned into his mind unlike anything else. Their bloodied corpses, and the death rattles they let out in their final moments. He could remember every detail which was burnt so deeply into his mind. Petra… Frederica… Beatrice…and—

He ceased his movements as his eyes widened in sorrow. He fell quietly to his knees as moonlight shone through two hazy clouds overhead.

In front of him was the courtyard of Roswaal's now empty mansion. A place of his nightmares, and of his dreams. He could remember every wonderful moment spent here with Emilia, with Rem, Ram, and everyone else. He could also remember every painful death he had experienced here, and every horrid nightmare he had experienced here. As he looked around, he noticed the normal lush green color of the courtyard was a dull brown, a sign that the area had once been frozen over. Perhaps it was from the wicked magister's ice storm, but perhaps not.

He could feel a cold chill overtake his body, as he remembered what catastrophe occurred here. In the left center of the vast courtyard lay two makeshift grave-markers, whose final resting place was that of Petra and Frederica. He had buried them after Elsa and her little accomplice murdered them. That assassin was no doubt still alive, as she had let him live just for him to exist in this tormented world forever.

He slowly crept up to the graves and stared down at them blankly. He was silent, unmoving, so much though that it was inhuman. He dared not make a sound. He just walked past the graves and into the main entrance of the mansion. He knew what he had to do now.

He pushed open the main doorway. It was empty, just like the rest of his world. It was eerie how still the mansion was, so vast as it was, yet so empty and alone. It was the perfect allegory for Subaru's life, its lifelessness and emptiness rivaling even his own.

He withdrew his sword from its sheath, its blade glimmering under the moon's glowing illumination. It was a fine blade indeed, sharp enough to cut through any material. Sharp enough to cut through his own flesh like a hot knife slicing its way through butter.

He knelt to one knee and placed the pommel of the blade against the ground. It pointed directly at his throat. It inched closer, and closer, until he could feel it hovering close enough to make his forehead sweat.

Once before he had done something like this… for someone close to him. Now, it was for entirely different reasons.

He closed his eyes, swallowed his fear, took a deep breath and—

"Subaru!"

The blade clattered to the ground, rattling and sending piercing echoes throughout the endless corridors of the mansion. It finally rested, and with it came a silence unlike any other.

He wouldn't move, not even the slightest. His tongue was caught in his throat, and his mouth dried up so fast he didn't think he could ever speak. He just knelt there, as the pitter patter of gentle footsteps came closer, and closer to him.

He couldn't turn around… he couldn't face her. Not now, at the end. He knew his betrayal ran deeper than she could ever understand. After all, he had betrayed himself more than anyone. He wasn't a hero, he was a coward. A spineless, weak, pathetic coward, one who ran away from his problems instead of facing them. With his back against a wall, he had finally given up, completely, and utterly.

The footsteps ceased.

"…"

"Subaru…" it was almost a whimper. "I… I…"

Her voice faltered. She was as unable to speak as he. Both of their inadequacies matched each other perfectly right now. The irony of it all. Though, it was in these inadequacies that they found solace in each other. In all their imperfections, they could find perfection.

"You… shouldn't have followed me." Subaru spoke so quiet it was almost inaudible. "—Why?"

"You are a liar, Subaru."

It came out quickly, like she couldn't control her voice. "You said you would never leave me."

Subaru's body jerked violently in reaction to these words. It pained him to the core, the very center of his being. It tore him apart to hear her say that. He didn't want to be here right now. He wanted to be dead.

"It's not my fault…" he buried his face in his hands as he spoke darkly. "I swear, it's not my fault…"

His voice dropped to a volume that reached no human, nor half-elf ears.

"—It's the you inside of me."

She stood behind him, her glistening amethyst eyes brimming with tears.

"I swear, I can't do this anymore." he was speaking to nobody but himself. His voice rose with every syllable until it was almost a shout. "I can't go on, and if I can't be with you, I don't want to breathe anymore!"

His hand reached for the sword on the ground. He heard a panicked shriek behind him. As he clasped it, another hand contacted his own, pinning it to the ground. The intruders other arm wrapped possessively around him, pulling him tightly against her soft chest.

"No!" she begged. It was a plea for his life. "Please, no! Please don't leave me! I need you! I don't want to be alone. Don't leave me behind. Stay with me!"

Her vice-like grip around him tightened, and he gave up struggling against her will. He couldn't fight with her. Anyone but her. Suddenly, her demeanor did a complete turn into the opposite direction. He could feel her hot breathe tickling him softly on the back of his neck. He could smell her sweet succulent smell that was unlike anything he had ever smelt before. Quickly, he was becoming ever so intoxicated, finding himself under her magical spell yet again.

"Come here, my love." she whispered into his ear, nuzzling him with her rosy cheek. "My lovely Subaru… touch me like you touched me the night before. I will let you touch me anytime… anywhere, my body is yours."

Subaru let out an unexpected sigh of relief. Something wonderful was calming him, and it felt like magic. He knew what this was. It was her magic, the magic he felt every time he looked at her—but... something was different this time.

"I'm so happy when I'm with you, Subaru. Remember when you came to see me in the tomb? I was so tired from attempting the trial, and then you came to see me. I told you the truth then. I am so scared without you, I absolutely must have you. I need you more than anything."

Her voice was so full of emotion. But just like that one fateful night, her words still felt hollow for some reason, as if they weren't her own. So, who's were they?

By this point, she had pressed her entire body against his. She gripped his hand and led it to the top of her hair. Subaru did not fight back or struggle.

"Don't you love touching my hair, Subaru?" she giggled as she asked him. "You can touch me anytime now, I promise."

By now she was stroking her hair with his own hand. He was lifeless in her arms, almost like a ragdoll. For some reason, he just couldn't move.

She kept whispering her sweet nothings into his ear, and he kept listening to her silently. Nothing she said was really ringing any bells within him.

Maybe, just maybe, Emilia was worse off than he thought. Maybe, she needed more real comfort than even himself. All this time he had been worried about himself, selfish as he always was. He hadn't changed, and this cruel world he was stuck in didn't make his selfish desires any less apparent. He had to fix this, somehow, even if it risked his own life interacting with her.

"Emilia…" he whispered. She didn't notice.

"Hey, Subaru. We are all alone now. Nobody else is here. It's just you and me, remember? Puck isn't here anymore… Roswaal isn't here anymore… Rem and Ram, they are gone too. I'm yours now."

"…"

"That's enough, Emilia."

"—And the royal selection. You don't have to worry about that too, remember? We can just run away from Lugnica. Away from all the danger. We can have our own adventures, just you and me. You can take care of me like you always wanted to! You have my full attention now, Subaru…"

"I said that's enough…" he shut his eyes and tightened his grip on her hand, but she was in her own world.

"Don't you want to take care of me? I want you to save me, like you saved me before time after time. Just don't get hurt okay? We've been hurt enough. It's time for us to relax, and forget about all the hurt..."

Make Lia stop, Subaru. Please…

"I SAID ENOUGH!"

His rage snapped Emilia from whatever self-induced trance she had been locked away in. She shuttered at the cruelty of his voice and cowered away from him, but she couldn't get far. His grip on her was too strong for her to overcome. Every time she tried to pull away, he jerked her to make sure she wouldn't escape.

"—You're hurting me… Subaru, why?"

He blinked his eyes at the small and frail girl who lay before him. Tears were threatening to fall from her beautiful amethyst eyes any moment now. She appeared frightened of him. Of all people, she was fearful of him. He let go of her and stared blankly past her, unable to keep eye contact any longer. Turning his head away he uttered quietly to himself.

"I'm despicable."

She was clearly taken aback at Subaru's words and actions. Of course, she wasn't entirely in the right state of mind either. Even still, this girl, afraid and alone in this world just as much as he, had given herself completely to him, both physically and emotionally.

He had misunderstood it. To be sure, it was something he couldn't quite completely fathom. Before, he mistook her obsessiveness over him to be something other than her own normal self. It was a state of mind orchestrated by that evil magicians' manipulations. He told himself that, to rationalize it. He didn't believe anyone could love him like that. He remembered Rem's declaration of love to himself, a moment etched to his very soul. It was eerily similar. It represented a love that he could not completely understand, and so it made him afraid, fearful even. This time, he wouldn't make that same mistake again.

They were both crying now. How it became so routine for them to cry in some way shape or form. He was tired of crying, as was she. It was a symptom of something far more distressing than just sadness. The feeling of it was becoming dull, like a rusted blade left out to rot in the rain and sun.

After a moment, he picked up her weightless body and carried her up the main staircase. She did not struggle, nor did she make a sound other than a few whimpers as she wept. The signs of carnage which took place here remained, unchanging to the ravages of time. Subaru did his best to avoid the worst areas such as the dining room. He wouldn't go back there again. Interestingly, it had only been a few days since then. Even as he swore he would never return here, he found himself back in this wretched place once again.

Long would it be, before the sun finally arose, and he knew of one room left untouched to the massacre which took place here.

Holding Emilia deftly in one arm, he maneuvered the jewel adorned doorknob with his hand that was free. Slowly the door crept open, revealing a master bedroom large enough and fit for a queen.

It was Emilia's old bedroom, locked away from the events which shook all which inhabited this very mansion.

He set her down carefully onto the well-acquainted bed. Moonlight cascaded through the large windows, filling the room with a hazy glow. Subaru reached under and brought the silk covers up over her in a small gesture of kindness. No doubt this one intricately designed room cost a small fortune, a sign of the Mathers' infinite wealth. It was no doubt fit for royalty.

Emilia was wordless as he continued his movements. By now the last of her tears had finally fallen, and the shock of his rejection passed over her like leaves falling lazily from a tree. She blanketed him with a suspicious gaze in return for his efforts. Not even moments ago he was about to end his life, and his aggressive behavior was nothing short of surprising to her. Something was wrong with Subaru, but she didn't know what. There were many times before, when she could see the suffering written on his face, but all the still he could not tell her what was bothering him. Maybe, just maybe, she could finally get some answers.

As one of his tears fell somberly to her lap, gentle fingers wrapped around his own.

Emilia tilted her head at Subaru questioningly.

"Subaru?" her voice was soft, and full of worry. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

He stared miserably at the tiny, warm hand which wrapped was around his own lifeless and unmoving digits. He frowned and shook his head negatively.

She nudged her curious face closer to his, silently prodding him to speak up.

"No, I… I just can't." he buried his face in the palms of his hand. "Emilia, I'm so sorry. I won't ever leave you again, I promise…"

"It's just that…"

There was a quick break in his words, followed by a sob.

"That…"

Again, another pause, and this time longer. Clearly, whatever he wanted to say was more difficult than any other confession.

"Something's wrong with—"

He hesitated before finishing the forbidden words.

"…"

The room got darker as if the moon was covered with a blanket, and the walls of the room closed slowly in on him, the air becoming thicker and more distasteful than it had been before.

"You shouldn't do that, my love."

As the passages of time had ceased, Subaru could see five shadowy arms reaching out from around him, until they finally rested around the silver-haired elf in front of him. Two hands clasped her throat, another her head, and the others held her arms down. Particles of gloom spilled over the soft contours of her body.

"No… Please." Subaru begged whatever lay behind the darkness. "Please just kill me instead…"

The hopeless and defeat of his voice gave credence to his resignation to the shadowy being which resided inside of him. The tryst between him and Emilia was beckoning to an end.

The hands tightened their grasp on her throat, suffocating her. Her mouth opened slightly in response to the applied pressure to her windpipe. Another hand pulled her head upwards slowly, abnormally stretching her neck. The others held her down against the bed. Soon her head would be pulled right off, and if not, surely, she would be throttled.

Rage spread across Subaru's face. Pure, blind rage. His brow furrowed, and his face warped into a snarl so fierce and bloodthirsty unlike any other.

"Sa… tell.. AAAAAAAAAAAAA—"

An extraordinary white light extended across the room and through the windows to the outside of the mansion. Its brilliance lit up the night sky which was otherwise completely dark.

Visages of darkness fled from the power and spilled outside, letting Emilia fall backwards onto the bed, free from harms way. She lay there unconscious, but otherwise she was unharmed.

Subaru centered himself away from his rage, and his eyes ceased their brilliant glow as he returned himself to the world at present.

Whatever magic which was pulling the passages of time back far enough to where water no longer flowed, ceased to be. Time was moving forward again. Subaru could see this to be the case because his teardrops were falling down to her sleeping face and dripping steadily down her cheeks.

Both of his hands were clasped around Emilia's, and he had straddled her sleeping form unknowingly. He couldn't understand when and how he had arrived in this position, but it was no doubt better than what was just occurring moments before. He fell flatly onto her unconscious body, letting the close contact of the elf wash away all worry and anxiety from his being. He buried his face into the crook of her neck and shut his eyes.

He was tired, and faced with an immeasurable amount of emotions that no one should ever have to be concerned with. There was a time when he thought that somehow, he could find peace in this world where none could be found. Maybe that future was long since distant to the point of being unreachable. The latitudes he was faced with when deciding his fate in this world were next to nothing. Ever since he found himself here, his destiny had been shaped by something otherworldly and ungodly, resurrecting him over and over until the pathway he had chosen was that of someone not his own. If he couldn't be allowed to make his own decisions, then he would rather not exist at all.

He let out a sigh fuller and deeper than any ever before. It was a sigh which echoed a promise he had made to himself. A promise to take control of his life, to shape his destiny, and to write his own story. It was a story in which he yearned for an ending exuberating in happiness. Possibly, just possibly, he could find that ending.

He smiled softly to himself and muttered something about the sleeping girl resting so carelessly underneath him. Her undying declarations of love to him, thrice he had received them. The first time he scoffed at her, tossing away the possibility that those words could ever be hers. He feared such love. He feared what he did not understand. By now he finally understood her love for him.

"Nhhhng."

Subaru shivered, and he cuddled closer to the girl underneath him. He cracked open one eye, wondering why the temperature of the room had dropped so suddenly.

There he saw something he wouldn't ever have expected. There, nestled beside the two of them, was a small gray cat he had come to know very well.

His folded left ear twitched as he narrowed his sapphire jeweled eyes at Subaru who otherwise stared at him in shock.

"P-P-P-P-Puck!" Subaru sputtered hopelessly at the intruding spirit.

The little cat raised one of his paws to his mouth, imitating a "shhhh" to Subaru. One of his eyes closed in a cheeky wink.

"Don't wake Lia." he pointed his other paw teasingly at the sleeping girl Subaru now so awkwardly laid upon. "She's been through a lot, so you should just let her sleep."

"…How long have you been with us?" Subaru asked the Great Spirit. "I remember, at the burning village. I saw you..."

"Ah, yes. Although, I was weaker then than now. Now I can retain my physical shape once more, but only for… a little bit." The cat slowed his speech and let out a slow, sleepy yawn that made even Subaru want to take a nap.

"But why? Why did you vanish?"

"Because I had to. If I didn't break my contract with Lia… she would have never succeeded in the trial. But it looks like that wasn't necessary, now was it?" The cat unceremoniously floated up and rested on Subaru's shoulder. He gave him a nudge with his paw. "Thanks to you, Lia was able to survive what happened, and now, she has something she has never had before."

"What do you mean?" Subaru said.

"True love." he spoke carefully. "A love not for that of a parent, but that of a romance. It is something I could never give Lia, even if she could never understand. It was painful for me to let her go, but I had to, you see. To give her something greater than myself. To give her a real reason to keep on living, for wishes other than those that aren't her own."

Subaru only nodded in understanding. Puck was giving him his blessing, and for that, he was innumerably thankful. He would not waste it, he promised silently to himself.

"Thank you…" It was a short and curt statement. What else could he possibly say?

"Don't thank me, Subaru! I wouldn't have chosen you if I didn't think you weren't the one. When Lia has nightmares, I expect you to be the one to calm her. When Lia is lonely, I fully expect you to be the one to hold her hand. It's up to you now, you know?"

"…"

"I know."

Puck smiled and bared his teeth at him. "Good! —Because if you don't." He drew his paw across his throat in a threatening manner.

Subaru's eyes exploded, reminiscing of his past deaths at the hands of this playful cat. He shook his hands in dismissal and waved him off. "No, you don't have to tell me that," Subaru's eyes were determined. "I know now what I have to do."

"Well…" the cat yawned again, signifying it was probably time for bed for both cats and humans… and elves. Puck's eyes narrowed to slits. "Let's get some sleep, now that the witch is gone and everything. Right Subaru?"

Subaru's breath caught in his throat. Sweat beaded between the creases of his forehead. Suddenly, the cool air emanating from the cat rescinded to a level of heat which burnt into his skin.

Subaru opened his mouth to speak, his voice a stuttering mess. "…What… did you just… say?"

The cat rest itself on the bed, curling up into a small ball of fuzz.

"I said we should sleep. That would be the intelligent thing to do, before we wake Lia."

"No… before that."

It was useless, because the cat was now fast asleep, and fading quicker than he wanted.

He knew. He knew his secret. Only one other person knew, and suspected, but even that person did not know why or how. No, Puck knew it all.

Subaru lay there the rest of the night, eyes wide open, and unable to sleep.