The Greatest Restaurant in the Entire World 1

I need to start this post off with an apology. Gluttons readers, I’m sorry, I’ve been holding out on you.

I’ve eaten at San Soo Gap San three times a week, for the last six months. I’ve spent over five grand on Korean bbq in 2008. I am not joking. But guess what mf’s? I regret nothing. If anything, I want it even more. That’s the severity of mouth boner that I have for San Soo Gap San. Let it be known that I’m a streaky eater. I once ate the Qdoba Poblano-Pesto Chicken Burrito 3 times a week for 4 months straight and loved every minute of it (ignoring my friend’s pleas to stop.) But this, my friends, is something else entirely.

Let’s start off with this litte introductory video to set the pace and give perspective. (if you have 3d glasses, put them on now)

Welcome back! So as you can see, this place doesn’t fuck around. And yes, you saw it correctly, each table is equipped with its own ultra-hot wood burning grill. I am not sure what type of wood this is, or what type of delicious-ass forest it grows in, or what scrumptious log cabin it might have been scavenged from . . . but christ all, I freakin’ love that wood . . . nay . . . i need that wood. (I’m confident enough with my sexuality where I can write things like that.)

Anyhoo, the way that shit works at San Soo Gap San is slightly different than at other restaurants. For example, at a Mexican restaurant, after you order your entrée, you are often rewarded with a basket of chips and salsa to help pass the time. At San Soo, the free chips and salsa looks like this:

This is the part of the meal where the more sheltered diners start to panic. The average American will most likely only recognize 1 of the 25 complimentary side dishes. (potato salad) . .and honestly after eating these items dozens of times, I still have no idea what they are called and have only the slightest guess what they are made of. My advice to you is to taste the things identified in the image above first and then venture into no-mans land. As for items to avoid: anything that is translucent or reminds you of Predator’s active camouflage, imo is pretty gag nasty. . . so steer clear unless you’ve lost a bet. Please remember, this is all a dick tease. The reason for the season is coming up next. (sorry jesus)

Lets talk about MEAT (cue the death metal):

What you should order the first time you visit (in order of importance):

Appetizer:

– Chop Chae (gummy beefy noodle dish) – *warning – this seems easy to choke on, but it is worth the risk.

– Pajun (seafood filled pancakelike disc)

Main Course:

– Large ribeye (dip in the oil)

– Kalbi (marinated short ribs, dip in the brown goo)

– Dak Kalbi (spicy chicken, dip in the brown goo)

In conclusion, San Soo Gap San is the greatest restaurant in the world. All other restaurants are bullshit in comparison. I love it so much. I am gay for it. I would marry it.