We hear this story all the time: the lottery winner that lost all his money with horrible financial decisions, the multi-million dollar business owner gambling away all his wealth, the A-list movie star that got involved with the wrong crowd which led to a self-destructive lifestyle. What do all these people have in common? They all succeeded. Then, they fell. They couldn’t handle the sudden success that they achieved. They didn’t make the right moves. Then, they fell off the top of the mountain that they were standing on.

Don’t be that person.

I was that person. I had a nest egg that I built over 13+ years of working in investment bank technology (a brutal work environment). I earned that nest egg with blood, sweat, tears and my mental health. Yet, I managed to lose it. There were external pressure and circumstances. But, a major part of why I lost the nest egg was also my mentality.

I had the mentality of failure. So, I failed. Rather than claiming my success, I pointed at my face and told myself that I was not worthy of success. When other people questioned my success, I gave in and told them that they were right: I’m a failure.

Don’t be that person.

You don’t want the pitty, self-loathing, and the hardships that come with being this person.

Here’s what to do to prepare yourself for success.

You are entitled to success. You are entitled to reap all the rewards of your hard work.

Pay Yourself First

I don’t know about you. But, usually, right before success, most of us are sweating blood and tears. We are putting in our best efforts into long term goals that don’t pay off immediately. These efforts often cost us our well-being, our attention, and our time. But, we make the efforts because we see the long-term vision.

When it all pays off, we are frivolous. We spend the money that comes with our success with little thought. The truth is that people are waiting. Often, there are people in our lives who see our vision, they wait for us to succeed so that they can benefit without doing any work. They ask us for money. We give without any thought.

STOP. Pay yourself first. You must take care of yourself before you take care of anyone else. Build up savings. Put money into your children’s college fund. Invest the money. You don’t have to give just because someone asks.

Take care of number one: you.

Pass It On

When we succeed, we are often under the illusion that it’s solely our efforts that enabled us to succeed. The truth is that luck plays a part in our success, too. Not knowing who helped you along the way and contributed to your success can feel like there’s an invisible hand there.

If you are like me, you will feel guilt at succeeding when others around you are striving. But, living in guilt is not the answer. If you live with that guilt long enough, it will tear you down from within.

The answer to that is to “pass it on”. After you have given to yourself, help others in need of help. Be selective about who you help. Help people who are helping themselves. Help them with little acts of compassion. These acts do not have to be money. They can be validation, connections, and ideas.

I have a habit of donating my unused items instead of selling them. Make someone’s day by recycling the items that you no longer use.

Put out love into the world so that you are moving the luck around.

Self-Care

If you are the lucky few who got to your destination with all of your self-care intact, then I applaud you. It’s not an easy task when you are climbing your mountain to also make the climb look easy for everyone else.

Some of us have neglected our self-care on the way to the top. This is why we have to catch up.

Self-care is the difference between accepting success or falling off the mountain.

Your self-care acts don’t have to be fancy or require a lot of money. You can pick up a new exercise routine, join a new sports team, get a new hair cut, buy a new interview suit, or go on a vacation.

You may be tempted to not splurge on yourself. But, you don’t have to splurge. Even taking the time to get back to your regular self-care routine before you neglected it is a huge step in the right direction.

Your Next Mountain

This might not seem like something you want to do right away. But, it should be the next step right after you take that long-awaited vacation. That is to brainstorm on your next mountain. We all need a goal and purpose in life.

If you succeeded as a multi-million dollar business owner, then think about mentoring and investing in the next generation of business owners.

If you just succeeded in landing a new job, then think about what it would take to step up at your new job.

If you just bought a new house, then think about renovating parts of the house as mini-projects throughout the year.

If you just lost 30 pounds, then think about picking up a sports-related hobby so that you can maintain the weight loss.

If you don’t know what your next mountain should be, then take measured risks in the form of little projects to find out.

Gratitude

We often think that just because we paid-it-forward that we’ve shown our gratitude. We’ve put love into the world. But, what about love for our journey and ourselves.

Being grateful for this success, sitting with the emotions, watching the wonder of your success unfold before your eyes, and then appreciating the journey are all acts of gratitude.

Process your success by celebrating all the ups and downs you’ve been through on this journey. Be grateful that you climbed.

A gratitude journal, an article, and a book are all great ways to celebrate the journey of life that you have just walked. If you worked very hard and climbed very steep mountains, then you write as many books, articles, and journals as it takes to process the journey.

Often, the best insights come from being grateful for all aspects of your journey: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Your Lifestyle

There’s no such thing as a millionaire’s lifestyle. Your lifestyle is your own. No one, not the Jones, not the teachers at your children’s school, or not your relatives can tell you how to live. When you succeed, everyone from your next-door neighbor to your dog’s groomer will tell you how to live.

I’ve had people try to coax me to put my child in certain schools.

I’ve had people try to get me to join their religious organization, church, temples, etc..

I’ve had people try to get me to buy their house.

I’ve also had people who threatened me if I didn’t donate money to their organization.

I’ve also had people who talk me out of a career path that I just succeeded in.

Your lifestyle is your own. You live how you want to live when you succeed. Do whatever makes you and your family happy. You don’t have to keep up with the Joneses. That time and money are better spent climbing your next mountain.

When you are on top, there will be people who can propel you higher and people who drag you down. It’s the law of physics. Distinguish the two. Save your resources for the next mountain that you want to climb.