LONGMONT — Through the clear eyes of sobriety, John Vandegrift looks back on his drug use and sees it for what it was: a coping mechanism.

The 21-year-old Littleton resident said he began smoking marijuana as a high school freshman, and two years ago he moved to heavier substances. Heroine became his drug of choice.

Looking back, he said, something like iThrive — an early-intervention program in Longmont that serves teenagers who have dabbled in drugs and alcohol, and their parents — would have probably helped him.

Vandegrift ticks off the treatments he tried: one through his high school, a wilderness program, boarding school and three outpatient programs.

“In all of those programs, there was never something where my parents had to sit down and do work. Thy never got handed any booklets. They never had to sit down for any classes or something like that. It was like I was doing my thing and they got reports on it,” he said.

One of the detox programs finally worked, and Vandegrift said he has been sober since March 2011. He works as a part-time teen group leader with iThrive, sharing his story and creating a space for teens to share theirs.

“It helps me stay sober, and it’s a very sobering process,” he said.

For more information about iThrive or to register for an upcoming session, call 303-776-8184 or go to alternativesforyouth.org

Paradigm shift for parents

Alternatives for Youth, a Longmont nonprofit that serves at-risk and troubled teens, launched iThrive last spring. Earlier this month, the program wrapped up its fifth cycle of sessions. About 60 families have gone through the program since its start.

Teens are typically referred to the program through the court system, a school counselor or a concerned parent, said AFY executive director Deb Roberts.

Teens and their parents meet with counselors one-on-one before the six-week group therapy sessions begin. At each session, parents and teens are divided into two groups and talk separately with counselors. The two groups come together for activities that focus on communication and building relationships, said Michael Behmer, a licensed marriage and family therapist who runs iThrive.

“When parents engage, they do experience an immediate change. They immediately change how they communicate. They immediately change how they see their kids. They go through a paradigm shift. They’re not going, ‘Why are you doing this to me?’ They start seeing this as, ‘Oh my gosh, my kid’s hurting, and I’ve been so ticked off that I’ve forgotten to love them through this,'” Behmer said.

Karen and Dan Clark, a Broomfield couple, attended iThrive along with their teenage daughter, Emily, last November. Dan Clark said the program gave them a running start toward identifying the underlying reasons for their daughter’s marijuana use. She now attends a therapeutic boarding school for troubled teens.

“For me, it was a feeling of relief to be with parents who could identify with what I was going through. … There’s no judgment at all because we’re all going through the same thing,” said Karen Clark.

The program also gave them suggestions on how to help their daughter through communication, handling conflicts and discipline, the couple said.

Planting seeds of change

The change isn’t as immediate with the teens. Rarely is six weeks enough time for teens to quit using drugs or alcohol. Behmer said the idea is to at least plant seeds of exploring alternatives to drug and alcohol abuse.

Gabe, who did not want to give his last name, said he attended iThrive after he was pulled over and arrested on suspicion of marijuana possession. The Longmont 16-year-old said he uses marijuana when he feels sad, mad or depressed, and iThrive has helped him identify that those emotions are triggers for his drug use. Since starting the sessions, he said, he has not smoked marijuana, though he still drinks alcohol.

“I don’t think I’m as angry of a person now,” he said. “I think about things more before they escalate and think about things before they get to a point where I can’t take them back.”

Westminster resident Jim Michael brought his 17-year-old to the program after the teenager was ticketed for marijuana possession. His son, who did not want to be named, said he smokes on regular basis.

Toward the end of the session that wrapped up April 9, Michael’s son was still smoking. But Michael, a retired U.S. Army officer, said he had learned how to talk to his son without “going ballistic.” On their drive to April 9’s session, his son broached the topic of drug use.

“I just kept my cool. I kept my composure. I didn’t react at him at all,” he said.

Michael’s son said the communication between him and his parents has improved since they started iThrive.

“We don’t argue as much, and they know not to flip out ’cause then I flip out,” he said.

‘You’re not alone’

While Boulder County has a number of prevention programs and services for heavy substance abusers, there aren’t low-cost, early-intervention models for teens who have started dabbling in drugs and alcohol, said Roberts, director of Alternatives for Youth.

The iThrive program fills that void. Families are charged on a sliding scale that ranges from $10 to $30 a week. A portion of the money AFY receives from the city of Longmont, Boulder County and private foundations helps fund the program.

Roberts’ own son, Holt, struggled with alcohol and drug use as a teenager. In September 2006, he fell out of a boat and drowned. Roberts said Holt’s blood alcohol content was .28 percent, more than three times the legal limit. Holt was 19.

At iThrive sessions, Roberts shares her own story with parents — not as a scare tactic, but as a way to reinforce the seriousness of substance abuse, she said.

“One of the reasons is I don’t want any parent to take it lightly,” Roberts said. “It started with a little bit of alcohol and a little bit of weed, and it just escalated. It can happen. So just love them, and take it seriously. You’re not alone. Don’t be embarrassed. It happens. You’re not a horrible parent, and you can get through this.”

Staying sober

After completing iThrive, parents and teens can continue to receive individual counseling, Behmer said. Five of the 11 teens from the last session have contacted him for additional support, he said.

Behmer said he is also working on launching a second tier of the program this fall that would help teens who have already gone through iThrive but need more resources and support.

As for Vandegrift, helping teens in similar situations to the one he was once in has been rewarding. He plans to attend Colorado State University in Fort Collins in the fall and study psychology. He hopes to work one day as a therapist with teens and adults.

Working at iThrive has been a way to keep him sober and prevent a relapse.

“I think a big part of drug addiction in general is not feeling valued,” he said. “And here I feel valued and I have something to do every week that matters and makes me want to stay sober.”

Magdalena Wegrzyn can be reached at 303-684-5274 or mwegrzyn@times-call.com.