In a statement released earlier this week, the leaders of some of the Japanese animation industry’s biggest animation studios, including the likes of Toei Animation, Shaft, and Hideiki Anno’s Studio Khara, came together to announce that every anime from the past, present, and into future will be adapted for the stage by 2026. The statement comes as little surprise to long time fans of the medium, as anime and video game properties have been hosting live shows for decades, with popular properties such as Sailor Moon hitting the stage so as early as 1993.

“We’re very proud that we can bring a taste of high culture to the world of anime,” one Toei Animation employee told Anime Maru . “And I think fans can look forward in the coming years to seeing their favorite characters live on stage singing and dancing to brand new plots straight from our in-house writers. We expect these shows to be a big hit. But if they’re not, well… the animation we use for most of our TV anime should be cheap enough to make up the difference.”

Following the statements release, a mysterious message reading “NOTHING IS SAFE! NOTHING IS SACRED!” in blood red letters ten feet in height appeared across very various locations related to animation studios responsible for the recent announcement.Though police have been baffled by the mysterious wave of vandalism, leading theories point to disgruntled anime fans as the source. Though whether the messages are related to the recent announcement, or are simply the result of long term bitterness over the long standing delay of Evangelion 03+ 01 has yet to be determined.

Among the titles currently slated to receive stages adaptions in 2016 are such popular and classic titles as Dragon Ball Z, Akira, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Legend of the Overfiend, and Bakemonogatari, the last of which is currently slated to include as much on stage tooth brushing, small vampire bathing, and mouth stapling as currently allowable under local obscenity laws.

A live action version of Eva was said to be in development at the time of the announcement, but the production has since run out of funding and has been reduced in scope from a big budget spectacle to a single monologue of a young actor dressed as Shinji Ikari sitting in a folding chair and degrading himself for an hour and a half.

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