A 97 year old man who fought in World War Two has given a moving account of the last time Salah played a match without scoring.

“I was just a boy” smiled Gerald Higginbottom, who had just finished watching The Dam Busters for the 6th time that day. “I remember because I had captained him in my fantasy team. Liverpool were playing Swansea and we all expected Salah to score 1 or 2 goals. We even coined a term for him – “hot shit”, I think it was.”

Swansea went on to win that game 1-0, a result that Gerald remembers vividly. “As soon as the final whistle blew, telegrams started flying in. One of them read ‘What the fuck just happened?’ and another simply said ‘Bollocks’. This was before emojis, of course.”

Gerald is one of only 4 living people who were old enough to recall the game, and he and the other survivors still meet each year to commemorate the occasion. “There are less and less of us each time we meet” Gerald explained. “Which is fantastic, because it means I’m a lot more likely to win our fantasy mini-league.”

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