“The first step to becoming is to will it.” – Mother Teresa

In “7 ways you can easily increase your willpower,” Eric Barker tells us that people, in general, have an overly positive vision of themselves and their abilities; on the other hand, surveys show that most people admit that self control is one of the things they have a problem with.

So what’s the difference in thinking you can and actually doing….many believe the answer is willpower.

Let’s start by answering the question what is willpower? Dictionary.com defines willpower as control of one’s impulses and actions; self-control.

According to Lia Steakley, in her article, “The science of willpower,” it is not a trait that you’re either born with or without. Steakley says it’s actually “a complex mind-body response that can be compromised by stress, sleep deprivation and nutrition and can be strengthened through certain practices.”

“Strength does not come from physical capacity, it comes from indomitable will’ – Mahatma Gandhi

So if you’re not born with it, how do we find it, possess it, and use it effectively in our lives.

Well it starts with knowing that it involves both the mind and the body. Below is a great explanation of where willpower comes from and how it works.

“The need for self-control sets into motion a coordinated set of changes in the brain and body that help you resist temptation and override self-destructive urges. It’s called the pause-and-plan response and it puts your body into a calmer state, unlike the adrenaline rush of stress. It also sends extra energy to the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which keeps track of your goals and helps you override impulses and cravings. The result is you have the mindset and motivation to do what matters most.” – Lia Steakley

Now that we know how it works, let’s find out how to get it.

Barker lays out 7 ways to increase willpower and live a better life:

1.) “Keystone” Habits Are A Magic Bullet

Exercise does so much more than give you more discipline at the gym, it spills over into other aspects of your life. When people start habitually exercising, they start changing other, unrelated patterns in their lives, often unknowingly.

2.) Do Important Things Early

Leading self-control researcher Roy Baumeister, has found that willpower is limited. In fact, he says it’s highest early in the day, but as we make more decisions, it empties like a gas tank. That means it gets harder to face big challenges as the day goes on.

3.) Improve Willpower By Not Using Willpower

Productivity guru Tim Ferriss says willpower is overrated. Barker says because we have a limited amount of it, we shouldn’t rely on willpower. Building good habits helps to lessen your reliance on willpower.

Charles Duhigg, author of “The Power of Habit,” suggests manipulating the environment to make it easy to do what you should and hard to do what you shoudn’t.

4.) Use Willpower To Build Willpower

So if we’re not born with willpower, where does it come from?

Roy F. Baumeister, Professor of Psychology at Florida State University and author of the New York Times bestseller Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength compares willpower to a muscle.

Baumeister say that exercising willpower over time makes it stronger.

5.) Fundamentals: Eat And Sleep

Never underestimate the power of a good night’s rest. Experts suggest improving willpower is as easy as eating and getting enough sleep.

6.) Procrastinating Can Improve Willpower

Oh the irony! Barker says postponing temptations, rather than just saying no helps to strengthen willpower. In fact, research shows that “Not now, but later” (postponement) is far more powerful than “No, you can’t have that” (self-denial). The delay and distract strategy helps to increase discipline.

7.) You’re Going To Screw Up… But That’s Okay

Finally, Barker reminds us that giving in to temptation is not defeatist. He says it’s what happens after you give in that really matters.

In the book, the “The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It,” by Kelly McGonigal, we learn that blaming yourself reduces self-control, and showing self-compassion increases it. Here’s why:

“Study after study shows that self-criticism is consistently associated with less motivation and worse self-control. In contrast, self-compassion— being supportive and kind to yourself, specially in the face of stress and failure— is associated with more motivation and better self-control.” – Kelly McGonigal.

That simply means, people who cut themselves slack usually go on to keep trying — and end up succeeding.

So here’s Tnettes take: Remember that old adage “where there’s a will, there’s a way,” it’s true for those who are willing to put in the work to improve themselves and their lives.

We, alone, hold the key to our success and failure. That’s not to say that people won’t try to sabotage you, and bad things won’t happen in life; what matter is your reaction to those things. Will you choose to move forward in growth or allow bad people and bad experiences to control you and leave you stuck in life.

I choose learned lessons, what will you choose today?

“Great souls have wills; feeble ones have only wishes.” Chinese Proverb

#willpower #self-control #exercise #self-improvement