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In a world audio first, scientists at the CSIRO have discovered that Christopher Pyne’s voice is the most annoying sound in the world.

Scientists,who have stopped doing crucial research into climate change and cures for cancer due to the government budget cuts, rang thousands of Australians at home and played them various tracks and sound effects to discover which sound was the most annoying.

Professor Bob Austins from the CSIRO’s audio lab said of the track found to be most annoying: “At first we thought the sound was two hyenas mating, but when we looked into the provenance of that particular track we discovered it was actually Christopher Pyne at a recent press conference.”

Other sounds that made the top 10 included 2) The South African accent; 3)A baby crying on a long haul flight; 4) Fingernails down a chalk board; 5) Karl Stefanovic’s laugh; 6) Andrew Bolt breathing: 7) Hearing “Aussie Aussie Aussie” at a sporting event; 8) Tony Abbott “umming” and “ahhing”; 9) Clive Palmer eating; 10) Any song by Meghan Trainor.

When scientists asked respondents what they most disliked about Christopher Pyne’s voice, the most common answers were its private school boy smugness, its high nasal pitch and the condescending tone.

Scientists were surprised to discover that Kyle and Jackie O’s voice failed to make the list. The national Film and Sound Archive said they had no plans to store any of the above sounds for future reference.



Gus W Templeton

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Categories: Science