When the first few Warcraft movie trailers came out, I was totally blown away. More so than any other video game adaptation, it really looked like they were staying true to how the game looks. The oversized armor, the weird colors -- it was like watching all the wasted weekends from my early adolescence come to glorious life.

Universal Studios

I kept instinctively trying to click on the characters and make them say funny things.

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Well, I saw Warcraft opening night, and while it's definitely the most faithful video game adaptation ever, it just isn't faithful enough. The movie is a failure not just for being bad but for insulting everything we love about Warcraft. I seriously don't understand the mistakes made by director Duncan Jones, writers Charles Leavitt and Chris Metzen, and Blizzard Entertainment. It's seriously baffling how different this movie is from the games that made Warcraft a household name.

The first and biggest problem is that there's not a single scene devoted to resource gathering, and, even stranger, I don't know how many resources the heroes have! Some of my favorite childhood memories involve clicking on my Town Hall, clicking the "build peasant" button, waiting for about 20 seconds, then telling that peasant to mine gold or chop wood. Then I'd click on the Town Hall again and click the "build peasant" button one more time, wait for 30 more seconds, and then tell him to mine gold or chop wood. "Right, m'lord!" he'd chirp, and once more I'd click on the Town Hall and then click on the "build peasant" button. After I'd built up a few peasants, I'd run out of food and have to have a peasant build a farm so I'd have the food to build more peasants. Then I'd have another peasant build a barracks and, finally, click on that coveted "build footman" button and begin building my army. "Not enough food ... build more farms," the game would say, so I'd click on a peasant moving between the Town Hall and the Goldmine, but he'd disappear into the mine before I could get the mouse over to the "build farm" button, and I'd have to find another peasant to click on. It's a fast-paced, riveting experience, and I couldn't wait to see it re-created on-screen.