Don’t send Mike Pence daughters — he asked for sons.

Before Mike Pence became Vice President and vintage cartoon meme, he was the governor of Indiana, a U.S. representative, and host of his own political talk show. This was back in the late 90s when most kids were interested in Beanie Babies, Pokémon, and boy bands with ramen hair.

Of course, the 90s also gave birth to one of the most beloved Disney animated films of all time, “Mulan”, and unfortunately for Pence, his children were very interested in seeing the film over Father’s Day ’98.

Upon leaving the theater, Pence was compelled to pen an op-ed on his show’s website about the movie and what it might mean for the military.

“Just spent a memorable Fathers Day, like so many other all American Hoosier dads, with my kids at the new Disney film entitled, “Mulan”. For those who have not yet been victimized by the McDonald’s induced hysteria over this film, Mulan is a fictional account of a delicate girl of the same name who surreptitiously takes her fathers place in the Chinese army in one of their ancient wars against the Huns.

Despite her delicate features and voice, Disney expects us to believe that Mulan’s ingenuity and courage were enough to carry her to military success on an equal basis with her cloddish cohorts. Obviously, this is Walt Disney’s attempt to add childhood expectation to the cultural debate over the role of women in the military.

I suspect that some mischievous liberal at Disney assumes that Mulan’s story will cause a quiet change in the next generation’s attitude about women in combat and they just might be right. (Just think about how often we think of Bambi every time the subject of deer hunting comes into the mainstream media debate.)

The only problem with this liberal hope is the reality which intrudes on the Disney ideal from the mornings headlines. From the original “Tailhook” scandal involving scores of high ranking navy fighter pilots who molested subordinate women to the latest travesty at Aberdeen Proving Grounds, the hard truth of our experiment with gender integration is that is has been an almost complete disaster for the military and for many of the individual women involved.

When Indiana Congressman Steve Buyer was appointed to investigate the Aberdeen mess, he shocked the public with the revelation that young, nubile, 18 year old men and women were actually being HOUSED together during basic training. Whatever bone head came up with this idea should be run out of this man’s Army before sundown. Housing, in close quarters, young men and women (in some cases married to non-military personnel) at the height of their physical and sexual potential is the height of stupidity.

It is instructive that even in the Disney film, young Ms. Mulan falls in love with her superior officer! Me thinks the politically correct Disney types completely missed the irony of this part of the story. They likely added it because it added realism with which the viewer could identify with the characters. You see, now stay with me on this, many young men find many young women to be attractive sexually. Many young women find many young men to be attractive sexually.

Put them together, in close quarters, for long periods of time, and things will get interesting. Just like they eventually did for young Mulan. Moral of story: women in military, bad idea.”

Essentially, Pence uses Mulan as an example as to why women should not serve in the military because she was housed with other men and fell in love with Captain Sheng. Some critics have pointed out that using Mulan as the crux of his argument is weak, as she nearly single-handedly saved all of China, becoming the deadliest Disney Princess (possibly character?) of all time.

Perhaps to Pence’s dismay, women were legally allowed to serve in the U.S. military since 2001, three years after Mulan’s release.

In a deliciously ironic twist, Pence’s feelings of “victimization” by the “McDonald’s induced hysteria over this film” may soon resurface, not only with the live-action Mulan slated for 2019, but the (hopeful) return of the McDonald’s promotional dipping sauce created in honor of the movie made culturally relevant again by the hit show, “Rick and Morty”.