Anonymous But does every woman really have the potential to be a lesbian? Some women are already lesbians/bisexual, but others would have to force themselves to be attracted to someone that they aren't really attracted to. Does that mean that heterosexuality is a choice for LGB people as well? And sorry if I assumed that you want all feminists to be lesbians, it's just that many prominent radical feminists seem to hold that viewpoint.

If someone wants to be a lesbian they’re not forcing themselves. Just sit down and figure out what makes you tick, what you’re attracted to, why- maybe think about why you want to be attracted to women. Why dating women would be better for you, etc. If you want to want something then you’re like half way there.

If you honestly do not want to be a lesbian, don’t waste your time and energy. It’s an option, but don’t force yourself. I think everyone has the potential to be a lesbian, but the difficulty of reaching that state is definitely varied. Personally, I used to be attracted to men- for about a year I was bisexual. I had convinced myself to form some very small attractions, they just paled in comparison to how I felt about women. I think if I wanted to (and the desire to do so wasn’t a result of outside pressures) I could have nurtured that into healthy heterosexuality. So I’m more flexible, or I was. I think the number of years you remain monosexual also determines how stagnant your sexuality is. I’d have a very hard time trying for heterosexuality now, if I wanted to.

But everyone does have the potential to be lesbian or heterosexual. You just have to find your own inner motivation to change. For homosexuals it’s often dangerous and psychologically harmful for them to try to become straight because often their motive is driven by internalized homophobia. I wouldn’t ever suggest someone try to be straight because, frankly, everyone else already is suggesting that to them. I think you’re just going to hurt yourself if you try to be something you yourself don’t actually want to be.

That’s the difference between political lesbians and LGB people who don’t accept themselves. Those feminists wanted to be lesbians for their benefit, and weren’t being pressured into it by some large pervasive system of oppression. To be incredibly redundant- they wanted to want what they wanted.

- Hanna