Seven people at a Planned Parenthood office in Sarasota, Florida, were taken to the hospital for medical evaluation and an additional person in the office declined medical assistance after an “unknown substance” was found in the building. Calls to 911 were placed as these people reported shortness of breath in response to the unknown substance.

Nearly three dozen other people in the building were evacuated and a local school was placed on lockdown. Cable news began running updates on the story, featuring people being taken out on stretchers in response to the substance. Two hazardous materials crews came in to deal with the situation.

Those HazMat teams confirmed that Planned Parenthood’s worst fears had come true.

It was baby food.

The local school sent out a note that all the children at the school were safe (no word on the safety of the children whose lives are ended at Planned Parenthood).

To recap: occupants of a Planned Parenthood clinic reported shortness of breath and sought major medical care and hazmat clean-up, putting neighborhood schools and cable news outlets on high alert, in response to baby food.

I don’t know which pro-lifer scripted today’s news, but kudos. A bit heavy-handed, perhaps, but they pulled it off.

UPDATE: It gets even worse. Sarasota Police clarified that the baby food was part of the problem, but so were improperly stored cleaning supplies:

Many Planned Parenthood clinics, as well as other abortion clinics, have failed health and safety inspections, as well as been cited for having other poor business practices. For more on this, see ‘All Sorts Of Nasty: These 39 Yelp Reviews Of Planned Parenthood Clinics Will Horrify You.

Most media have shown a curious lack of interest in investigating problems at abortion clinics, from Kermit Gosnell’s to those closer to Washington, D.C.