Offended by BJP MP Giriraj Singh’s comments that the Congress party would not have accepted Rajiv’s wife had he married a Nigerian, the party high command has decided that Rahul Gandhi would marry a Nigerian to shut up detractors once and for all.

“Yes, Rahul has decided to juxtapose himself next to a Nigerian for the rest of his life. It will be a holistic marriage,” said party spokesperson Manish Tewari, while exuberant party workers outside 10, Janpath shouted slogans of ‘Nigerian lao, desh bachao’ and fed cake to life size posters of Rahul Gandhi.

When asked if the party would accept the Nigerian as the party president should Rahul and Priyanka both refuse to take charge of the party, a Congress leader said, “Well it’s either her or Robert Vadra, so the answer is an emphatic yes!”

Rahul’s decision has received a thumbs up from none other than President Obama. “Both Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King would have approved,” said Obama.

However, the Nigerian envoy to India OB Okongor isn’t amused in the least. Mr. Okongor, who had refused to lodge a formal protest in the wake of Giriraj’s comment, personally called up PM Modi this time and lambasted him. “This is all because of you, Mr. Prime Minister! If your MP had kept his mouth shut, a young Nigerian girl’s future wouldn’t be in danger today,” cried Mr. Okongor.

Meanwhile, incumbent Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan, whose party was the first ever to be defeated by the opposition in the recently concluded elections in Nigeria, pinned the blame on Rahul Gandhi for his bad luck. “Shahzada screwed my chances,” he grumbled.

As usual, Dr. Subramanian Swamy had the last word on the issue. Sherlock Swamy tweeted: “Is it true that Buddhu is marrying a Nigerian for a smooth supply of drugs? Checking with my Nigerian friends… watch this space.”

(With inputs from Ajayendar Reddy)