







So, yesterday, with our book proposal deadline looming, I decided to take to the Cosmopolitan website for the entirely acceptable purposes of 'research.' The first thing I found was this FANTASTIC piece of advice regarding 'bum fun' (girl doesn't want to touch his bum. Cosmo's advice? Touch his bum)









As top person/journalist Rosamund Urwin pointed out, the pituitary gland is nowhere near the bum. But this might be more down to the fact that Cosmo have their heads up their asses than their scant knowledge of anatomy. One of our twitter followers pointed out that keeping one fingernail shorter than the others for the purposes of anal pokage might look a little bit strange, sort of the opposite of your coke nail, with which it should never be confused. After laughing at this for about two hours I went off to read '50 great things to do with your boobs', which contained the following HI-LARIOUS tips:





Score a sexy, rosy glow by dotting on a pinkish-red stain. Dab a small amount around your areolae and nipples, and blend well.



Cook dinner topless, apply a little tomato sauce to your nipple (make sure it's not too hot), and ask your man if it's spicy enough.



Draw an attention-grabbing circle around your nipples using rhinestones and body glue for a special night in.





Put temporary tattoos of his name around your nipples, and give him a peek when you bend forward in an undone button-up.





Hide tickets to that baseball game your guy’s been dying to go to in your bra, and tell him to go hunting for hidden treasure.



None of these actually sounded all that fun. So I asked our twitter followers whether they could think of any using the hashtag #boobfun. After a little while it was trending in the United Kingdom, leading it to be corrupted by dicks faster than a virgin at Fresher's Week. But while it was still good, it made for some extreme MEGALOLZ. Here are the best, brought to you by us, and our lovely readers:



