If there's one question that we get asked time and time again at Cracked, it's "How do I get in shape for bikini season?" It turns out that many of the reasons which might drive someone to Cracked in the first place (currently sitting, bored) can also cause someone to become hilariously loaf-like in shape as well. Lately, many of these kinda-hypothetical emails have asked about the effectiveness of toning shoes, like the Sketcher Shape-Ups. These products claim to enhance the tone and musculature of the wearer's ass and legs, and many of our readers, desiring ass and leg-play, wish to enhance their own features to better secure it.

I volunteered to research this issue, partly out of my deep abiding love for our readership, but also partially out of a desire to get more physically fit myself. The writing and sitting lifestyle does take a toll on the body, and on many days I wish I could stand up with a little more authority and panache. Additionally, any improvement in the way I look in the tiny shorts I wear throughout the year is always welcome.

Eager to keep science at my back, fists clenched, shaking his head menacingly, I knew I had to create a solid and defensible experimental design. So, after a bit of preliminary research, I opted to use the peer review method, wherein I would email pictures of my legs and ass to Cracked colleagues, and ask them to review them. Their weekly findings are presented to you below, esteemed members of the scientific community.

Baseline Scores: