If you already thought the Democratic 2020 candidates were a frightened pack of cocktail weenies, get a load of Beto, a guy as sturdy as a gummy worm.

You want pathetic? Here's pathetic: He felt he had to apologize...over a joke he made about his wife.

Now – before you hear this, you might want to scoot the kids out of the room:

STEVE HILTON: WHY BETO O'ROURKE IS A REAL DANGER TO AMERICA AND MUST NOT BE ALLOWED NEAR THE WHITE HOUSE

“I just got a call from my wife, Amy, who is back in El Paso, Texas, where she is raising, sometimes with my help, Ulysses who is 12, Molly who is 10, and their little brother Henry who is eight years old.”

Yes. He apologized for that. The words, "sometimes with my help."

He apologized….for that.

Okay - quick mental exercise: imagine a guy apologizing for that ever becoming president.

Now, he felt he had to apologize because “people were outraged.” Meaning three cranks on Twitter.

But in the era of “scalp first, think later,” humor is the first to go.

One CNN.com article claims "many" female Democratic operatives and activists, were triggered.

For once, media, can we get a head count on "many?"

Seriously: what kind of person gets offended over that?

Welcome, to the modern liberal man. A Snuggie full of guilt and fear.

Wouldn’t the right response be: “Look, it’s a joke. If you can’t take a joke, we’re gonna have a real problem when I become president.”

Sadly, Beto went the other way:

“Not only will I not say that again, but I’ll be more thoughtful going forward in the way that I talk about our marriage, and also the way in which I acknowledge the truth of the criticism that I have enjoyed white privilege.”

Welcome, to the modern liberal man. A Snuggie full of guilt and fear.

Notice how he threw in that “white privilege” – just in case! And the virtue signaler now brands our economy "racist:"

“I think the only way to meet some of these historic challenges, is to be able to use this engine of capitalism. It won’t be government intervention or policy alone that makes it possible. Now having said that, it is clearly an imperfect, unfair, unjust, and racist capitalist economy.”

OK. Now try other economies - you know - the ones that aren't as awesome in eradicating poverty.

Our “racist” system has done more to help humanity than any, ever.

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But what would he know about economies? He inherited and married his money, making him a perfect lefty: relying on the wealth of others to support his silly ideas, oversized ego and absurd hand gestures.

But hey, it sure beats a real job.

Adapted from Greg Gutfeld's monologue on "The Five" on March 18, 2019.

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