Stereotypes based on age, gender, or race often appear in groups where individuals view each other as one-dimensional or as all the same. We might expect this kind of one-dimensional perspective when we ride elevators together or jump in a taxi, but at a university campus? We might also expect this kind of thinking to be expressed by those in a closed-minded group, say fundamentalists, but not at a university, right?

Ironically, it is in grad school where I have found this perspective to be disturbingly alive and menacing. My experience with others here has typically found them to be the most non-empathetic, non-talkative people in my life. Not only do they have very little to say, they also ask almost nothing – the lack of curiosity is profound. One would expect questions or queries about each other in grad school, right? But not here. If my grad school is similar to other grad programs, be ready for it – especially if you are an older student. At USC, most grad students in the humanities seem lost as they pass from office to classroom and back again. I never know what they are thinking or feeling.

Of course, at a university, students and professors already play distant non-reciprocating roles. But if it could be a flatter experience than that, it is with my grad school colleagues and professors. There are a few exceptions or moments, defined more by an accident or a second of self-awareness because of a mistake than anything else. However, the life-giving wonder that comes with teaching and learning has been emptied out of our grad program, the relationship between colleagues so muted, that I am often searching for a yakking blue jay or a busy squirrel outdoors to fulfill my needs as a human. On the most lifeless days, I drive home at breakneck speed to spend time with my cat. And what a fine cat he is (see image above).

So, what causes this apathy? To be fair, there are a few academic empaths, but they are so few and far between, I worry about the state of academe overall. Worse, if there is energy, it is weirdly formed into remarks or gestures of ageism, sexism, and racism.

But do I dare disturb the university?

If there is an “attitude” or animus expressed here, it has to be the invidious stereotyping of grad students based on some of the most superficial characteristics. I hear these stereotypes about men, women, whites, blacks, etc. all the time. But the worst I have heard seems to be age. In my case, that means judging me based not only on my age, but also on my gender and race – the stereotypically hated older white man. Although I am not one of the “dead white men” often railed against in literature programs, I am typically categorized and stereotyped quickly as representing all living old or dead white men, and as one might expect, typically offended in the process. This entire process has been very strange for me since after 55 years of life and as a liberal politically, I have never found more stereotyping based on age, race, and gender in the world than I have found here in grad school, in the humanities, in a program where I had expected to find the most open, liberal-minded individuals.

So this blog is a look back on my first two years in grad school at USC, chronicling a few foolish, disturbing, and unproductive moments of stereotypes based on age, race, and gender by students and professors in my program. Consider this list a clearing of the air for me. The anecdotes will be followed by what I could have been thinking at the time, but did not say. I will definitely have to follow up with this blog about the exceptional moments I have had with other students/professors.

First Semester in Grad School – Fall 2013

1. Professor in composition pedagogy asks the class to explain how Katniss Everdeen is a hero in Hunger Games. Then she looks directly at me and asks, “John, don’t you think that women can be heroes?”

[Really?! You’re asking me? The guy who married a very independently minded woman from California and a guy who has supported her for years so that she could chase her dreams in the corporate world? The guy who took on the role as parent-at-home when my son was 3 and until he was 6? Of course, Dinah, my wife, is the real hero. Not Katniss. And what makes you believe otherwise? Have I ever given you any indication that I don’t think women can be heroes? Oh, except for the fact that I am an older white male? It doesn’t matter that I taught in one of the most liberal high schools in the San Francisco Bay Area for five years and mentored many female students in speech and debate, does it? Worked hard to get Jerry Brown elected Governor? Spent my play time in Berkeley? Or that I had led Obama’s presidential campaign in a very large county as chair of the Democratic Party in 2008?]

2. Two female grad students (in their twenties) ask me after my modern theory course comes to an end: “What’s a man in his sixties doing in grad school?”

[How nice of you. I’m actually in my seventies. So what do you think of them apples?]

Second Semester in Grad School – Spring 2014

1. During a break in my methods class, another student explains to me that my past experience in education and life are meaningless here. Earlier, I have heard this student and twenty-something others talk enthusiastically about what they learned before coming to grad school, about their lives before, etc.

[I promise not to use my 25 years of teaching experience, writing, and reading as a crutch as long as you don’t use your few years of school before coming here. Otherwise, let’s try to be civil and respect each other for our strengths.]

2. In another course, I am told that my approach is “masculine” because it uses a traditional organization for presentation and relies on well-known scholarship for the project. I am accused of being too straightforward and organized. Although citing many of the authors (mostly males) we have read in the class, I have been accused of sexism and ageism for using the scholarship of men, even dead white men.

[Please forgive me for being organized and for using many of the authors we have been reading in the course. Also, forgive me for being older and experienced, for choosing an approach that has worked well in my career when dealing with audiences who want organization and clarity. I will try to be mindful that having scholars of both genders is always politically correct and a smart way to avoid being accused of sexism.]

Third Semester in Grad School – Fall 2014

1. In my classical rhetoric course, I am told by students that my focus on memory in Aristotle is too much, not relevant. I am told that Aristotle doesn’t care about memory. I am told that they (my classmates) don’t really care about history either, especially in terms of finding truth or discovering facts or trends. Facts and truth are all made up. The message is clear – you’re the old guy here who has history and you’re hanging on to it.

[Dear colleagues, did it slip your mind that Aristotle actually wrote a treatise on memory? Furthermore, am I to believe that you don’t care about memory yourselves? Of course, you care about memory; that’s why you resist me at every turn. History, experience, and memory are disturbing. Memory is one of your greatest assets (or should be) in getting through grad school. And if it is not, just imagine a day without memory – and then go see my wife who can explain to you what it is like to work with seniors who have Alzheimer’s. Meet the families who miss the parent they knew who is now suffering from memory loss.]

2. Meeting with a female professor who is considering working with me on my dissertation project, I am asked very early in the meeting to be sure I always admit my “white male privilege” and know that she cannot work with me unless I always balance my citations equally in my scholarship between men and women.

[Okay. But what about your power as professor? You may see me as powerful, but you actually have the power in an institution’s hierarchy – structured as if authority and knowledge took priority over people. You seem to have no problem with this structure, but let’s try to be reasonable and realize that asking me as an older white man to submit to your demands is perverse given your power in the university. And in terms of citations, I have no problem using all female sources if that fits the scholarship, as I have in other papers, but I would prefer to choose authors and sources based on relevance to scholarship first. But if not, and I am held hostage by your power position, why should we make this situation just about male and female? Why not also about the ratio of ethnic people represented? The religion of people represented? The region of the world of people represented? And, yes, the age of people represented?]

Fourth Semester in Grad School – Spring 2015

1. In my digital humanities course, it has become apparent that my keeping up with a fast-moving and brilliant instructor and excited classmates who are youngish and quick and have much better hearing and seeing senses than I is becoming a problem. I am told that age should not be an issue. I brave on, find shortcuts to catch up and eventually do, but not without backtracking a few times. The instructor offers lots of out-of-class time to catch up, which is pretty cool.

[Despite the wonderful professor of this course and the wonderful students in the seminar, ageism lurks underneath our entire system of education. Here ageism is not overt; it is ingrained. Universities are the realm of the young. Yet this kind of ageism may be worse since it is taken for granted that age should not be an issue. Dear professor and students and university administrators, we know from research that after one reaches 50 years of age, certain physical problems related to hearing, seeing, etc. emerge. So I don’t wish my age on any of you in this setting, the university classroom, and in this role, as student, my dear professor and fellow students. But for just one week, I would like to trade positions with you so that you might come to understand my challenges. I would also love to be young again without losing what I know now. Yes, I was once all wound up and young too. But let’s not be ageist!]