Photo : Chip Somodevilla ( Getty Images )

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Big Baby Liar Face, hasn’t held a White House press briefing in some 40 days.




On Thursday, Sanders held the first press briefing since the release of the Mueller report, which basically states that the president and everyone he kicks it with are liars who did a rack of shady shit, but she only took questions from children, and that’s not a stab at Fox News. Thursday was “Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day” and, well, even the Devil used to be one of God’s best angels.

Vice President Mike Pence, who loves children and fetuses, stopped by to take a few questions, but only from Christian children raised in a traditional martial man-woman household.


The White House said the event was off the record, but that didn’t stop the Devil’s mouthpiece from bragging about it and noting that the president will speak next month at the Air Force Academy graduation in Colorado and announcing that some NASCAR driver will be visiting the White House soon.

No word on whether any of the children asked any hard-hitting questions like “what is the president’s favorite color?” which we already know is orange, or whether the president likes chicken nuggets (he doesn’t as he eats full chickens with saggy original recipe skin from KFC).

The Washington Times notes that the last time the White House held an official press briefing was Feb. 28, and the White House claims that because Trump has a unique style of president-ing, there’s been little need for press briefings.

Read all of this as: “The president tweets a lot and we can’t defend this shit so we don’t want to be held accountable by journalists who don’t conform to our agenda so we hold selective conversations with media that reports the bullshit we give them.”


There, I fixed it for them.