Beep…Beep…Beep

A continuous beep was the first thing I heard. Next I heard breathing. Was that mine? Or was someone else here? What was going on? Where was I? My eyelids felt heavy. I forced them open, only to be assaulted by bright fluorescents and a white room. A hospital? Why was I in a hospital? I heard something move to my side.

“You’re awake!” I heard a voice full of relief. I sluggishly moved my head to the right and someone came into view. Who? I blinked my eyes a couple times to try to get the blurriness out.

“Oh, Lo, you’re awake.” I knew that voice. “We were so afraid. Are you okay? How do you feel?” Maya. That was Maya’s voice. I looked around for more blurry shapes. “Lo, talk to me. You know I can’t see if your eyes are open.” She whispered, almost begging. Her worry filled me.

“W-why a-am” I rasp, my throat was dry.

“Do you not remember?” Maya asked, concern on her face. I tried to say no but couldn’t and shook my head instead. She would hear the movement.

“You were in a car crash.” She whispered, her hands clenching the sheets next to my hand. “You and…and dad.” Something was wrong. I could feel her pain and sorrow flowing into me. Suddenly she stood up. “I’m going to let mom know you’re awake. I’ll find a nurse and have her bring you water too.” With that she left the room.

I don’t know how long I lay there. Eventually a nurse walked in. She seemed familiar.

“It’s nice to see you awake, Logan.” She said with a warm smile. I just watched her, too tired to smile back. My entire body was heavy. She walked over to my bed. “Here, let’s sit you up.” She pulled some extra pillows out and set them behind me, helping me sit up.

I took a drink of water. “How long have I been here?” I asked. My voice was still raspy but I could at least talk now.

“Only a week.” The nurse said, grabbing someone out of a locked cabinet across the room. “Here, take these, they’ll help with the pain you’ll start to feel in a little bit.” She set the pills in my hand and I took them quickly, already feeling the tell-tale aches.

“How is my dad?” I asked, remembering that Maya had left before she had told me how he was doing. The nurse frowned and looked away. She was saved form answering as my mother burst in the door, followed by my brother and sisters. Spenser smiled warmly at me as she led Maya into the room. I felt her across our link feeling me out, making sure I was okay. Silven rushed over to my side.

“Lo, please forgive me.” He rushed. I just sighed and shook my head.

“There’s nothing you could have done.” I said, trying to sooth his overprotective self. I looked at the door, waiting for dad to come through. I felt mom take my hand and kiss it, her cheeks moist with tears. This time I didn’t ask my question straight out. Neither Maya nor the nurse had answered me when I did. I looked at my nearly complete family, trying to decide who to direct my question to. At my curiosity I felt Spenser probe our bond once more. She knew what I was thinking. Her sorrow filled my mind and I felt tears spring to my eyes.

“Dad hasn’t woken yet?” I whispered. Mom’s breathing stopped, Maya stood still and Silven looked away. Only Spenser kept looking at me. Her sorrow hit me once more, and with it, realization. I felt the poisonous beginnings of guilt spread through my body.

“He’s dead.” I managed out. I heard my mom begin to sob. Maya nodded softly and Silven’s hand clenched the hospital sheets. Spenser just kept her steady gaze on me, sending everything she could through our bond. Happiness I was alive, relief I was okay, despair and dad’s death, anger at whatever caused the accident. Suddenly it all came back.

“It was my fault. I was driving. I looked away from the road for just a second, just a spit second to look at dad and…” I paused as the guilt surged through me.

“No. It was not your fault.” Mom whispered after a second. “There was nothing you could have done. Your father…He was a wanted man by powerful people. There was no way you could have stopped it. We’re just glad you made it out alive.”

The nurse came back in with a chart and looked it over.

“Logan Belle. The doctor wants you keep you here for the night, but if all signs stay this well you will be released tomorrow.” She looked sadly to my family. “I’m sorry, but visiting hours ended about ten minutes ago. I cannot let you stay any longer.”

Silven squeezed my hand before walking out. Maya leaned down to kiss my forehead while Spenser just kept her bond open with me. Mom kissed my cheek and squeezed my hand.

“Don’t blame yourself.” She begged. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning to get you.”

**************

The hospital was quiet. It left me to my thoughts, groggy as they were. The medicine the nurse had given me had kicked in, making everything seems slow. I had killed my dad. I had blinded my sister and killed my dad. Would I kill my mom next? Or maybe make Silven mute? I turned onto my side, kicking the sheets off me. It was warm in the room even though the windows were frosted outside. Guilt for my dad’s death stayed in my head as I fell asleep.

“It will be okay.” A voice whispered. I felt a hand over mine. “I won’t let anything hurt you ever again.” I heard myself mutter and I opened my eyes a little. A male figure sat in the chair beside my bed, but it was too dark and blurry to see who it was.

“You’ve grown into a beautiful young woman.” It continued. “Don’t blame yourself for anything that happened.”

“Daddy?” I whisper. I felt the hand squeeze mine.

“No, Logan.” The voice said, “I’m sorry, but Keighlyn is gone.” Was I dreaming? I must be dreaming.

“Go back to sleep.” The figure whispered, and began humming a soft tune under his breath. His hand reached up to wipe tears from my cheek. My eyes seemed to obey his command and I fell back into a dreamless sleep.