It wasn't supposed to be this way. Everything was lined up for the 7-Eleven Slurpee Donut to be terrible. This was supposed to be a lay up.

I was all ready to make a joke about how the surface of this thing looks like the Kool-Aid Man wearing one of those flashy studded belts from Hot Topic that were big in middle school -- and probably tastes like something that had been sitting next to a pile of My Chemical Romance T-shirts and "blackmatter fragrance" that comes in a grenade-shaped bottle (real item) all day at the mall.

My first point still stands. But when I actually went to try it, something happened. The expected gas station funk wasn't there. It wasn't dried to oblivion. It made my mouth... kind of happy.

I wanted to hate this doughnut. I conspired to hate this doughnut.

I hate how much I love this stupid doughnut.

7-Eleven Slurpee Donut

Look at this doughnut. It's all pink and flashy and covered in shiny sugar crystals. Judging by appearances, it'd be better off as an amazing-looking prop doughnut that appears on the set of a "Law & Order" episode. ("Looks like the perp broke in to get his hands on on this $15,000 diamond-encrusted doughnut. Then things went south." [DUN DUN])

In reality, it's a particularly cake-y doughnut that's slightly pink on the outside, very pink on the inside and topped with a thick coat of pink frosting and sugar crystals. It has all the normal characteristics of a crappy gas station doughnut with some gimmicks thrown in. But somewhere along the line, it turned into something surprisingly enjoyable. Sure, it's a low-grade sugar bomb. But it's a spot-on low-grade sugar bomb that's a perfect reflection of the source material: a big ol', sloppy cherry Slurpee.

So, in the spirit of fairness, I got both.

So what does it taste like?

In the gas station food review system, the Slurpee is represented by two separate, yet equally important groups. The drink that initiates the sugar and the doughnuts that proliferate it. These are their stories.

[DUN DUN]

Slurpee Donut: The pink-dyed doughnut itself is a far cry from the light, airy, cheap doughnut that I was expecting. It's less of a fried ring of batter than it is a doughnut-shaped cake. It was surprisingly dense and moist with a tinge of cherry flavor.

The standout, though, is what's on top. The pink icing up top is thick and carries that same sort of sweetness that you get from an actual Slurpee. It's hard to pin down, but it's unique. It's that same sort of sharp, anise-laden, kind of tart flavor -- almost astringent in the way it can emulate cough syrup (not always a bad thing in my mind).

The crunchy sugar bits are not just for show. As the outer shrapnel of this sugar grenade, they add a fun layer of crunch that plays well with the heavy doughnut and icing.

Cherry Slurpee: Oh yeah, it's got that cough syrup-like flavor I remember. The sweetness hits the tongue with a muzzled plop -- like a big red hot air balloon carrying crash landing on a rapidly melting iceberg.

It really carries many of the same notes as the doughnut. For the sake of science, I decided to combine the two.

The Slurpee Donut dipped into the cherry Slurpee: I kind of liked this. I now question whether or not my mouth is broken.

So is it any good?

Much to my chagrin, yes. If you want a real dense, sugary doughnut that doesn't involve filling, it's one of the better ones you'll find.

The final word

While I go around re-evaluating my life post-gas station doughnut, I'm forced to circle back to the "Law & Order" sound. A significant portion of regular TV watchers are familiar with the two-hit segue sound that plays during episodes. But how do you spell it?

I posed the question to the newsroom, and found that my initial spelling of [CHUNG CHUNG] wasn't a popular choice. I ended up going with [DUN DUN], but still don't feel good about the choice.

Excuse me while I sit at my desk and just hit replay on Youtube video of the sound over and over. (Look at what this doughnut has done to me.)

"I ate it so you don't have to" is a regular food column looking at off-beat eats, both good and bad. It runs every other Thursday at noon-ish. You can send any praise/food suggestions to nomalley@masslive.com.

Please send all questions/ideas about how to spell the transition sound from "Law & Order" to reverett@masslive.com. You can check out the rest of the series here.