Peace loving, trustworthy nation Pakistan today has issued a statement on its national media that the Pakistani government or the ISI has absolutely no role in the terrorist attack that is going to strike Jammu and Kashmir next week. Pakistan’s spokesperson Syed Tariq Jhoot-zyada confirmed that the next week’s terrorist attack in Jammu and Kashmir is in no way linked to Pakistan.

“I’m asserting now itself”, he continued, “that if you manage to get any terrorist alive, please don’t link his nationality to Pakistan because we have already removed all of their names from our National Database and Registration Authority. So, don’t embarrass yourselves. Also, we are running out of space in our storage rooms to keep those thousands of dossiers you send as proof after every terrorist attack. Please stop that habit now. We need that space to store ammunition so we could continue our efforts in strengthening the unilateral ceasefire violations.”

Syed Tariq Jhoot-zyada also warned the Editor-in-Chief of Times Now, Arnab Goswami to not have any debate on this. He stated that Arnab Goswami should concentrate on major answers the nation is demanding like the porn-ban, as against petty ones like a terrorist attack.

Pakistan Sports Board’s Mian Riaz Hussain said that since Pakistan has already denied its link to next week’s terrorist attack on the Indian soil, there should be no ill effects on the India-Pakistan Cricket diplomacy.