Welp, it’s official: According to AG Bill Barr, Robert Mueller has found “no collusion by any American.” The Guardians of Truth are really struggling to process this development, but perhaps no one is struggling more than CNN’s own Jim Acosta. So, in order to help him cope, his poor little brain is trying to piece together a scenario that would explain what’s happened. And it’s apparently settled on … collusion:

As many reporters at WH suspected, DOJ officials shared portions of the Mueller report with Trump and WH attorneys prior to their release. — Jim Acosta (@Acosta) April 18, 2019

And we all know what that means … wait, it doesn’t mean anything.

Care to share why that is not a problem or does that not support your narrative? — Beto’s blind squirrel (@BetosSquirrel) April 18, 2019

We’re gonna go with the second thing.

The fix is in. Thanks for playing America! Good luck next time. — BrianD (@BrianMitchelD) April 18, 2019

They didn't make any changes. How exactly is the "fix in?" https://t.co/VbnEe7RewY — RBe (@RBPundit) April 18, 2019

Jim will do some research and get back to you.

IT IS ALLOWED UNDER THE ETHICS IN GOVERNMENT ACT. It. Is. Allowed. https://t.co/Xfwz5jNmUN — Mary ⚾️? (@mchastain81) April 18, 2019

GP Barr said this was done in accordance with longstanding DOJ practice to permit the president to assert executive privilege if he wished. Do you disagree? https://t.co/EdRCpnFZzH — The Gormogons (@Gormogons) April 18, 2019

He disagrees if it means Donald Trump didn’t do something wrong. But hey,at least Jim’s got room for a few more in his tinfoil tent:

NOTABLE: Barr confirms that the White House was given a redacted version of the Mueller report before its public release. pic.twitter.com/n32k4MPD6Z — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 18, 2019

This is NEWS here. AG gives President early secret access to report investigating him. Denies coequal branch of government such access. https://t.co/4J8U0GeLCO — Susan Glasser (@sbg1) April 18, 2019

Time for another investigation?

NARRATOR: It's not news. No changes were made and no exertion of executive privilege. You have nothing. Nothing is not news. https://t.co/flFns82tzK — RBe (@RBPundit) April 18, 2019

Nothing is all they’ve got.