The story begins with Fei Yan, a post-doctoral researcher at a "major university" in Cambridge, Mass., which we could guess at being MIT or Harvard. Yan's spouse was a lawyer at a major law firm, who was working on a deal related to the purchase of Stillwater Mining Company.

Somehow, Yan got wind of the deal and decided to try to make some cash with the insider information he'd seen. The figure, over a period of several days, bought the better part of 500 shares in the company, which eventually netted him a profit close to $110,000.

But after a large purchase on December 6th, 2016, Yan began Googling phrases related to insider trading, such as "how sec detect unusual trade." Subsequent searches included looking for phrases "insider trading with international account," and read a website telling users how not to commit the crime.

Here's the thing, kids, if you're going to be dumb enough to look for tutorials on how to commit crimes, just remember about incognito mode, okay?