College is a way station between being a teen and being an adult, but every person making that passage thinks they're a lot farther down the tracks than they actually are. Few college students in America are more likely to have an overdeveloped sense of their own maturity than students at Harvard University.* Few Harvard students are more likely to have an overdeveloped sense of their own importance than those involved in political clubs.

And, lo, this story from the Harvard Crimson:

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The Harvard Republican Club announced it would not support Republican presidential nominee Donald J. Trump, and called for Republican leaders to withdraw their support of the candidate they called a “threat to the survival of the Republic” in a press release Thursday.

People. Just imagine the meeting where this discussion took place. "Well, Declan," one of them likely said, "the 'Federalist Papers' offer some guidance to the intentions and fears of the founders, of course, but I think we must consider the deeper roots of republicanism, small 'r' " — a smirking glance around the room — "and so I offer that we turn to Plato."

By the way, I did not make up the name Declan. The president of the club is named Declan P. Garvey. I actually called the Crimson just to make sure that the whole thing wasn't a joke, since Declan P. Garvey couldn't possibly be the name of the president of the Harvard Republican Club. It is. It is a name so astonishingly on the nose that you'd want to have it removed by an elite plastic surgeon who was himself once a member of the Harvard Republican Club.

So why can't Declan, Chip and Charles IV support Trump?

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"His authoritarian tendencies and flirtations with fascism are unparalleled in the history of our democracy," read a statement written by people born in the 1990s. "He hopes to divide us by race, by class, and by religion, instilling enough fear and anxiety to propel himself to the White House."

Trump, the college students wrote, "is poisoning our country and our children."

Guys, come on. Unless this is a "Dirty Dancing"-waiter-type of thing (which is entirely possible), your "children" are your siblings. "Donald Trump is poisoning the brain of my brother Braden," the Harvard Republicans warn.

I've made a lot of charts in my life, but this is among the most important:

Look, I was the sort of jerk kid who was interested in politics in middle school. I get it. I also get how college is basically the world's greatest self-absorption machine, teaching newly independent humans that their thoughts and opinions are useful and valid and that there are no wrong questions — lessons that the rest of their lives will often prove incorrect. But of all of the "bad news" that Donald Trump has gotten this week, a rejection from a snooty bunch of kids from liberal Harvard is the least damaging. It is inversely damaging. Donald Trump will gain support from blue-collar whites in the Midwest once they hear that the obnoxious son of the guy who owns the company is looking down his nose at the candidate.

At some point in the future, Declan Garvey will probably buy The Washington Post and have this article removed, so please read and share it now. And Mr. Garvey, my apologies. Love the shoes.

* A friend who attended Harvard confirmed this for me.**