*uncontrollable happy giggles*

I can’t put into words the absolute perfection that was Nevermind, but how about I try anyway, k? Okay here goes: wwwhhhaaaaaatttttt OMG teehee teeheeeeeee ZZZZZZIPADEEDOODA.

Ahem.

You guys, this episode was an absolute love letter to the fans, and I will NOT return to sender (classic mail service joke). Nevermind let us inside the mind of our protagonist, took us on a journey through the past, gave us new information about the present, and HOLY MOLY did I ever love it.

AND THOSE CAMEOS! Melted Zeus! Maya! OUR BELOVED MONTY! My heart exploded all over my Emperor’s New Groove comforter. I squealed, you guys. I squealed so hard.

On top of all those sweet sweet throwbacks, we also got two badass queens facing off in a battle of wits, emotional strength, and physical prowess. It was wondrous to behold.

Okay, now that we’ve calmed down (I haven’t), let’s melt some cheese over the snack of your choice and photo recap this thing!

Clarke woke up in her mind-studio and went for a stroll to find her dad, Melted Zeus himself!

He was in her old Earth digs!! Man, the journey through these old sets was truly delightful. Anyway, her mind-dad helped her figure out that she’s only mostly dead. Sure, some other hussy is currently in her body’s driver’s seat, but she is Clarke Effing Griffen, so what’s she gonna do about it, huh?? (His pep talk was much more beautifully sad and loving, but this is honestly a pretty good summary.) So off he sent her to clean up her room and do her homework.

As speculated, it was Becca’s technology that saved Clarke’s life, but instead of a first commander cameo, we got ALIE. She apparently created the little mind-studio that kept Clarke alive. I don’t fully understand how all this works, but I don’t care, because everything about this is so damn pleasing. Hi Erica Cerra! I seriously SERIOUSLY hope we get to see you again!!

Clarke was all, “if these are MY memories, what in the HECK is that tacky door???” She tried to go through it, and who should pop out but…

Just a couple of total badass queens, quipping about who should have control of the the body they share.

Josephine explained the premise of the episode: on one side of the door; Clarkeville, on the other; Jo-Land. If they have a mixer, it would create some major ouchies.

Even just Jo running her hands over the memories and hearing the soundbites from past episodes was an absolute treat. SO MUCH has gone down in this world. It’s bonkers to think about what these people (and specifically Clarke) have gone through, and also the people we’ve (she’s) lost. I watched this scene a couple of times just to see all the pictures in the back. Hi Roan! Hi Finn! Hi Lexa! Hi Wells! Hi mutated dear we saw that first day!

Anyway, Jo made the mistake of attempting some fisticuffs with our girl in order to get a memory she was hiding. It did not go well for her.

Alas, mind-death is not permanent for ol’ Jo because of her backup-drive, so the cat came back, the very next day (re: minute).

So on and on Clarke ran, into (I can’t believe I get to type this again), the FIGHTING PITS from the bunker. And out sauntered Blodreina, ready to mean-girl at Clarke just so hard.

What followed was an itemized list of all the ways Octavia is so damn cool. “While I was up there fighting for everyone’s lives, you were down here, stealing what I bled for.” I know this episode is all about appreciating Clarke, but can we take a hot second to marvel at how awesome Octavia is…….

………

There was also a fun reminder about how hard Clarke regrets leaving Bellamy in the pits to die that one time.

Anyway, Mind-Octavia was NOT about to lend Clarke a friendly sword-thrust or two, so Clarke vamoosed before Jo could catch up to her.

Maya!! It’s Maya, you guys!! When I first saw the Mount Weather set in the trailer, I hoped beyond hope that we’d get some Mountain King (the creepiest man ever born of woman). I’m quite pleased we got Maya instead. After all, who could personify Clarke’s guilt better than the kind, charming girl she befriended then murdered?

“I have to sa-”

“To save your people, I know. Too bad I wasn’t in that group, huh?”

So many amazing lines in this episode. Kim Shumway, I tip my hat to you.

Maya tried to convince her that the only way to save her people is to just die (yet another glimpse into Clarke’s self-worth this season), but in doing so, she gave Clarke a hint on how to fight back.

What a fun subterfuge!! Clarke led Jo to the cave where she, um… how do I put this politely? Where she detained Madi that time. As Jo opened the jeep door, Maya popped the necktrocuter on her. Ha! This is CLARKE’S house, so she’s in control of what happens, and who gets necktrocuted. She also controls where the super-secret-memory goes. Tricky, tricky, tricky…

Jo wasn’t keen on waiting around, so girl necktrocuted herself to death (gross), and came back lickity-split with a mind-minion of her own. They chased Clarke in the WORST way – at a light jog while condescendingly spouting facts about animal hunting strategies. Ugh, you’re smart, Lightbournes, we GET IT.

Clarke hid the memory behind something traumatic (her dad getting sucked out of an airlock), but Jo was too wily for that and snuck on through. Being inside Clarke’s forest-o-trauma was both delightful and WILDLY UPSETTING. Lexa’s throne. The box Clarke sobbed over at Arcadia. Melted Zeus’s vlog. Jasper’s goggles. The knife she stabbed Finn with. Damn, show. Why do you have to hurt my feelings like that?? (Never stop)

After giving a Ted Talk on how brain functions are attached to deep emotional trauma (I’m sure that won’t come up again), Jo convinced Clarke that giving up the fight is what’s best for her people. If she lets Jo have her body, then the Adventure Squad can go on living peacefully in Sanctum.

HOW did she convince her, you ask??

My heart is in PAIN. Jo showed Clarke a mind-clip of Bellamy agreeing to a deal to live in Sanctum, even though they straight-up murdered his we’re-just-friends soulmate. This understandably pushed Clarke over the edge, and she decided to ONCE AGAIN sacrifice her own life for the lives of those she loves.

So Jo held the matrix-cracker, saw that it takes an EMP to remove the ALIE goop, and went on her merry way while our girl sobbed on Lexa’s throne (my poor heart).

And then… whooooooooboy, emotionally prepare yourself, because AND THEN…

MONTYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! It’s Monty, you guys!! In his season 1 outfit! Of COURSE the part of Clarke that wants to live and take care of her people and not let evil prevail would take the form of Monty the Magnificent. OF COURSE IT WOULD. He was all, “bitch what are you even.” And Clarke was all, “yeah, but-” and Monty shook his head all sassy and was like, “nuh uh, girl. Nuh. Uh.” And Clarke was all, “huh, you may have a point.”

So off they went to jump into Jo-Land.

All of Jo’s memories were stored in carefully organized volumes on massive bookshelves, because girl has been alive FOREVER. Clarke took a looksie into one of them and witnessed the last moments of Jo’s previous host.

We knew Kaylee pushed Jo out a window because she killed her lover (the only way I can say or read the word lover is if I ridiculously exaggerate it like ‘lova’, with a wink). But the whole, “now you’re sounding like Gabriel” is a nice confirmation on what we already suspect. It also showed Clarke that Jo is so obsessed with blood that she’s basically a Death Eater.

The Primes are feeding babies to the trees!!!! BABIES. TO TREES. Hahahahhahhaha I love this show. It’s unclear whether this is done by all the primes or just Josephine (hallowed be thy name), but good sweet Lord that is DARK.

Clarke saw that and was like, “yeahhhhhhh, I’m gonna have to rescind my previous offer on that free body.”

Wowzers. The 100 has never been afraid to tackle social issues, and this one is a doozy. Turns out Jo had an admirer who couldn’t handle rejection, so he went ahead and shot himself in the head right in front of her. Which, as we all know, is HER fault. How could she continually say no after he was so thoughtful by calling and texting and stalking her on social media?!? Ugh. Some girls just don’t know how good they have it.

This puts a whole new spin on the episode 2 flashback when Russel was all, “don’t break Gabriel’s heart.” Yiiiiiikes, DAD.

Jo caught Clarke going through her personal trauma like a bratty little sibling, but just as she was in the height of her violent freak-out, she woke up.

Clarke and Mind-Minioned-Monty morris-coded a message to Bellamy by tapping her fingers!! The message was: “um hellooooooooo????” Bellamy (who very luckily happened to be holding a notepad), caught it and is now all, “LET’S GET OUR GIRL BACK,” and the whole universe was like, “EFF YES!” The pure joy on that boy’s face… *contented sigh*.

You’re probably sick of reading my praise about the pace of this show. It rolls so fast that we never have time to get bored with a storyline. We never have time to piece it together ourselves. Hold on to your butts, because now I’m gong to praise the opposite. It was speculated by fans that Clarke would be back by the end of this episode. That she would reunite with the Squad, and they would face their foes together. ADVENTURE SQUAD UNITE.

But that didn’t happen, and the story is better for it. The narrative isn’t ready to bring Clarke back for-realsies, and we’re not ready to let Josephine go. I was happy to see that our girl still has some fight left to do before she can rejoin her family. It will be that much sweeter when (if?) she does. Plus… does this mean more Monty? (please please please please please)

Overall, this episode was a heaping serving of awesome, and I am super duper DUPER pumped for next week.



SOME STUFF

In my 2am photo-recap delirium last week I forgot to congratulate Eliza Taylor and Bob Morley on their nuptials! I wish them happiness and fun and high-fives and ice cream.

Looking good, Christopher Larken!! Come back any time.

THE OLD COSTUMES! THE OLD HAIRDOS! *heart eyes*

Chris Browning gives very good Dad vibes. He’s all soothing and caring and handsome in a slightly-melted Greek God kind of way. I’m always delighted when he pops by.

Jo admitting to Clarke that she wants to stay in her body because Clarke is a stone-cold-babe was maybe the most honest moment of this entire series.

Hat-tip to the artist(s) who created Clarke’s mind-studio. Well done, you!

If Eliza Taylor doesn’t get all the awards for her performance over this entire season, then there is no justice, and we should all just give up.

“You look fun.” Hahaha, I love Jo, you guys.

Put Eve Harlow in everything.

Miller’s sassy-pants strut-stare-down at Jo is the reason I love Miller.

Where was Riley on the memory wall? Huh?? Where was RILEY???

I saw on twitter that the writers pitched having THE MUTATED GORILLA return in Clarke’s mind, but showrunner Jason Rothenberg had to cut it (which was apparently a very hard decision). Can you mourn something you never had? This has sent me spiralling. After such an amazing episode, I hate to say it, but Jason… I think… *ahem*, I think we’re in a fight.

Okay fine, I can’t stay mad at you. Fight over. Whew, that got heated. Let’s never fight again.

How emotional do you think Christopher Larken’s return to the set was?? How many hugs? How many high-fives? How many times did they talk about me, do you think?

On a scale of 1 to “I JUST CAN’T RIGHT NOW”, how full is your heart after watching this episode?

What would your mind space be like? I hate to be obvious, but mine would be an ice cream parlour, and all my memories would be different flavours, and you’d have to taste them to see the memory, but all the memories are just the times when *I* ate that flavour of ice cream, because that is the only thing worth remembering.

Can you say “lover” with a straight face?

OKAY THANKS BYE LOVE YOU!

