Lawrence Schlossman, a writer and editor, blogs at How to Talk to Girls at Parties.

I've seen more mustached lips on the street and more bacon-wrapped-fried anythings on menus than ever before. And the Internet tells me that facial hair and pig fat is manly, so it's possible we are. But, I don't think any of that stuff makes you manly. A mustache, on most of you, makes you look like the kind of guy who has a suspicious locked room in his basement, and bacon in every meal makes you a gluttonous fatso. Both of these things seem kinda dumb to me, along with all the other nonsense guys are taking part in because it helps them hark back to the days of manly men.

Just be honest, kind, tolerant, open, intrepid, self-aware, inquisitive, etc. — you know, all the things that have made our greatest men (and greatest anyone) great when we boil it down.

Macho archetypes haven't changed much, but these days it feels like we've pinpointed who we, as men, want to be more so than I can ever remember. Hey, check out this guy, he sexually harasses his employees in his office, while smoking a cigarette on his third liquid lunch date, while wearing a suit: he's the coolest. And check out this dude, what an incredible beard, and a blue ox and a huge axe: I'm totally going to dress like him. You can play dress up and imaginary playtime all you want, but that doesn't make you any more of a man, at least not to me.

In fact, I want to tell the modern man that he doesn't have to look like a gold rush-era carnival worker or brew his own micro whatever to be considered a man in my eyes. No, it's way easier than that. How about being a good guy, a good person. Just be honest, kind, tolerant, open, intrepid, self-aware, inquisitive, etc. — you know, all the things that have made our greatest men (and greatest anyone) great when we boil it down. Do these things and help others do them too, and you're a real man as far as I'm concerned. Next time you're out and about, walking tall, everyone might be focusing on the perfectly handrolled cigarette dangling effortlessly from your lips, but you and I will know the truth — you called your Mom just to tell her you love her, and you're happy you did.

Oh yeah, and get a bunch of tattoos.