Reasons Women Aren’t Funny

- When looking for a partner, women tend to place a high value on a sense of humor, giving men a strong incentive to develop one, whereas men have been biologically programmed to seek out women who will never, EVER fart during sex.

- At its roots, humor is always an act of verbal aggression, and women know nothing about fighting with words.

- Women have been socially conditioned to try to fit in, be universally liked, and smell nice, none of which are good lead-ins to a joke about testicles.

- If pretty, why would they bother developing any other personality aspects, since they already have everything they need to get ahead in life, up until the age of 33 or so? If ugly, I’m sorry, I didn’t catch any of that, I was busy looking away. Did you say something?

- A woman’s biological imperative is to reproduce, and there is absolutely nothing about giving birth that wouldn’t be funnier if it were a guy talking about how horrified he was by it.

- Many women seem to think the term “romantic comedy” isn’t wildly misleading.

- Women usually test out their sets of bad date and period jokes on their 14 cats, a notoriously easy-to-please audience.

- Physical weakness relative to men means they can’t tell too funny of a joke, for fear of burning all the bridges between themselves and getting that jar of pickles open.

- Maintaining the myth of humorlessness of women makes it much easier for men and women alike to write sitcom wives.

- Female rapeability really sucks the fun out of rape jokes.

- Ryan Gosling is just too dreamy for women to ever fully focus on coming up with a good punch line.

- Penisless.

- Historically, the role of primary caregiver for children, most often the province of women, is significantly funnier when played by Robin Williams in drag.

- Hard to imagine an incurably trouble-making chimp sidekick ever being willing to solve crimes with a woman.

- If a woman were by the bedside of her dying father, trying to do everything in her power to ensure that his last few moments on earth were happy, and peaceful, and as painless as possible, it wouldn’t even occur to her to tell the joke about the guy who had cancer and Alzheimer’s.