Sabrina Parsons, CEO of Palo Alto Software Sabrina Parsons I am not your average CEO. I often bring my three young children to work with me, and I encourage my employees to do the same. As a business leader in the male-dominated technology field, I have created my own image of what a female CEO should look like.

In “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead,” Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg emphasizes that while women represent more than half of college graduates today, men still hold the vast majority of leadership positions in government and business. She argues that women hold themselves back in their careers and advises them on how to keep up with their male counterparts.

While I wholeheartedly agree with Sandberg’s argument that we need to continue to fight to decrease the gender gap in leadership roles in corporate America, I have some reservations about her overall strategy to accomplish it. Sandberg argues that women need to play into workplace norms, and play hard. She believes that women should accommodate the office culture and do whatever it takes to succeed at work — regardless of their personal lives.

I admire her tenacity, and admit that this strategy has worked very well for her. However, I believe there is a better way to approach the gender gap and advance women in leadership roles.

Working moms should support a new type of feminism. I greatly admire and respect the feminist movement of the 70’s and 80’s that changed the landscape for working women. These women worked tirelessly to help highlight how bad working conditions were for women and how much discrimination existed in the workplace. Without them, women wouldn't have the rights they have today.

But what they worked so hard for manifested into women behaving like men in the office. Case in point, this is also the time that women’s power suits became popular, which were women-sized versions of the suits worn by men. To me, this epitomizes the changes we need to institute today to advance women in leadership.

Let’s get beyond acting like men in order to get ahead, and emphasize how our differences make us incredible assets.

It’s not that women don’t try hard enough, as Sandberg suggests, it’s that some women are faced with impossible circumstances. To get ahead, we’re expected to work long hours, give in to whatever is asked of us, and at times, disregard our personal lives to do so. I am by no means arguing that we should never work late or go above and beyond the call of duty. In fact, I think that driven women always go beyond the call of duty, and certainly working moms know how to work as hard as anyone.

What needs to change is how and when women work. Being told to “lean in” by itself is not useful. Instead, women need to come together and demand that we are given the flexibility to excel in our jobs; to admit that we have kids and not hide that fact in fear that it will stunt our career opportunities; to occasionally bring a child into the office to quietly do homework on a day when school is out or daycare is unavailable.

Let’s demand that corporate America’s norms change to accommodate women — those who want to have families and realize that having a family does NOT make us work less or achieve less. Companies that dictate our schedules, decide when and how we work, and believe that a pregnant woman is a liability is what prevents women from rising to the top. Until we can change those attitudes, “leaning in” won’t work.

As CEO of Palo Alto Software, I have made it a priority to encourage my employees to do whatever they need to succeed at work while raising a family. We have a room in our office designed specifically for children to relax after school while their parents are still working. We do not have strict hours for the sake of having them. If someone needs to leave work early to take their child to the doctor or work from home, we’ll never single them out. But they’re always expected to do what’s asked of them and more.

Our culture extends beyond just working moms, too. Dads who need to work from home and employees who need to tend to aging parents have the same freedoms. We offer more flexibility than the average company in America and have happier, more productive employees because of it. When you hear a child’s voice in our office, the reaction is not “who brought that kid here?” but is instead considered a sign of a normal workday. We aren’t soft, we’re accommodating. And it works for us.

I truly admire Sandberg’s dedication to her career and think that all women are capable of this. But women should not be afraid they'll have to give up their personal lives to succeed.

So, lean in, but do so while nursing your baby, or while your son sleeps on the couch in your office because he’s feeling sick — and don’t apologize for it. Pursue your goals, take risks, and go above and beyond, but don’t give up your role as a mother, wife (or husband, for that matter), and community member to do so. We can do better.

Sabrina Parsons has served as CEO of Palo Alto Software since 2007. She and her husband, Noah, founded a UK software distribution company in 2001 that was acquired by Palo Alto Software in 2002.