Mass Edits

So I have not in fact been completely dead. One of the things I’ve been working on along with writing is uploading a bunch of saved up edits to previous chapters to ffnet and ao3 (if you’ve been getting mass spam from ffnet in your email about TTS, I’m sorry, that was me updating every chapter). Most of it is grammatical changes and the like, but here is a list of more specific changes, from one of my betas:



## Major: ##



Ch. 02 - Change to first Kyouko/Ryouko scene: Kyouko says “she” instead of “Sayaka”, as it’s a private matter



Ch. 44 - Yuma no longer cries at death of Hinata Aina, as she was still magically suppressing her emotions at the time, and the narrative language employed was already used later in Oriko’s death scene







## Minor: ##



Ch. 01 - Variety of changes to conversation between Mami and Kyouko, mostly in tone of dialogue



Ch. 01 - Volume title and quote now present at beginning of chapter



Ch. 08 - Kyouko’s nickname for MG, “M”, removed since never used



Ch. 09 - Oriko now properly detransforms in Ryouko’s vision



Ch. 12 - Ryouko no longer incorrectly suggests demons are invisible



Ch. 22 - Addition made to Ryouko’s introduction to the Zhukov, to make clear that it doesn’t look like an asteroid, and to add other details



Ch. 34 - Unaccountably rude guest removed from scene where Ryouko kisses Asami at Yuma’s party



Ch. 41 - Originally had Ryouko&crew meeting Sacnite aboard the Zhukov, even though it wasn’t at X-25, now changed to the cruiser Hammurabi



Various - “①” added to all security clearance disclaimers to make their hidden nature clearer



Various - Outdated author’s notes removed







## Very minor: ##



Ch. 01 - Variety of changes to bring writing style in line with later chapters



Ch. 02 - Variety of changes to bring writing style in line with later chapters



Ch. 03 - Sayaka’s appearance originally described as “off” in *Akemi,* changed to “quite a bit off” to reflect fact neither Ryouko nor Maki recognized the similarity until seeing a vision and Kyouko’s picture of Sayaka, respectively



Ch. 16 - The woman Ryouko meets on the space elevator who’s buying a t-shirt is now a corporal instead of a private, to match updated military structure



Ch. 26 - Change to make clearer that wormhole was spherical



Ch. 31 - Universal Readiness Decree of 2192 now takes place in 2200 for timeline purposes



Ch. 32 - Shizuki Kuma lived with his mother-in-law for years, but not for longer than Ryouko had been alive, as was originally said



Ch. 34 - Manor that Yuma’s party takes place in now properly described as “partially virtual”



Ch. 39 - Removed mention that Ryouko visited Paris when discussing roundabouts, since Ch. 46 establishes she hadn’t previously visited



Ch. 42 - Mention of soul mages removed from Asami’s thinking, as it’s too classified for her to know about



Ch. 45 - Mitakihara Academy founding date changed from 2060s to 2070s for timeline purposes



Ch. 47 - Clarisse now says that Version Two rollout has been delayed only recently, as was originally intended, and as fits with previous statements on rollout



Ch. 47 - Pierre reacts more appropriately to an insult



—



## Ch. 46 (already made on 6/26/16): ##



Major - Changes to Kyouko/Maki scene to account for fact that Maki had seen Sayaka’s picture before and had a basic idea of who she was and what she meant



Minor - Further explanation given for why Ruiko and Chiaki don’t recognize Sacnite



Very Minor - Fugu changed to Tessa to more accurately reflect traditional Japanese sushi style and language



—



## General style and proofreading: ##



- Standardized formats and styles for opening snippets and appendices (italics, security warnings, citations, quoting, etc.)

- Standardized spelling and capitalization for various words and phrases

- Standardized use of quotation marks

- Standardized use of italics (memories, telepathy, machine-aided thinking, acronyms, ship names, etc.)

- Standardized use of various characters (em dashes, en dashes, hyphen, hyphen-minus, minus sign, figure dash, etc.)

- Standardized nomenclator and other message formatting

- Other style updates (punctuation, italicization, capitalization, and spacing edge cases; ellipses, stuttering, deep-level machine thought formatting; etc.)

- Grammar, typo, missing word, broken sentence, and various other fixes

- Two full proofreading read-throughs, full text analyzed with Grammarly Premium, thousands of lines changed in total









….and now to be out of the country again, though I do in fact have another 1000 words of tts floating around. The problem with this chapter right now is that the month long hiatus has made me completely lose sync, so I introduced a lot of weird mistakes in the chapter timeline…

