When 20th-century American humorist Will Rogers said, “I am not a member of any organized political party, I am a Democrat,” he could have been talking about any number of chapters in Democratic Party history. But it feels particularly prescient today.

In 2016 Democrats were handed a gift named Donald Trump, a bumbling, blurting, barstool political ignoramus who nonetheless managed to insult his way into the presidency, despite all their “best” — and I mean worst — efforts.

OPINION

Now, as a midterm election that should favor the party out of power approaches, Republicans, energized by the Brett Kavanaugh fight, are poised to potentially pick up Senate seats. And I wouldn’t be entirely shocked if Republicans surprise everyone and actually manage keep the House. As far as 2020 goes, no one Democrats are currently shopping is a convincing match for Trump.

Sure, Democrats are picking up local elections in places they perhaps shouldn’t, running close elections in places they haven’t before. But when it comes to Trump, they are losing. Big time. And it’s getting to people.

Just this week my CNN colleague Jeffrey Toobin lamented: “Democrats are pathetic, they are afraid of everything.”

Bill Maher has echoed this refrain often.

“There’s this fake debate, I think, about ‘should the Democrats move left or right,’” he said after Jon Ossoff’s loss in Georgia’s 6th Congressional District. “It’s not that. It’s about how you fight. Have some balls.” More recently he complained, “I’m often surprised how often liberals I talk to think that we’re winning. We, who control nothing. Winning?”

Republican Party operatives, of course, know this well and count on it often. Democrats, often it seems, go out of their way to lose.

As a Republican, you might expect this to please me. It doesn’t. I believe in a strong two-party system, and when one party is losing so spectacularly, it emboldens the other party to overreach and become a cartoon of itself, invoking awful things like — I’m just spit-balling here — child separation policies and trade wars.

So I want Democrats to get their act together. Along those lines, here are some tough-love suggestions.

Remember the Alamo — and other locations in the middle of the country.

Recently a reporter for NBC, Ken Dilanian, tweeted, “It may not happen in our lifetimes, but the idea that North Dakota and New York get the same representation in the Senate has to change. ‘Senators representing less than half the U.S. are about to confirm a nominee opposed by most Americans.’”

First, welcome to our Constitutional Republic! Second, instead of constantly screaming past the yawning chasm of rectangular states, Democrats would be wise not to treat them the way Republicans treat illegal immigrants.

People like me are not your problem.

Adam Parkhomenko, political adviser to Hillary Clinton, tweeted giddily on Tuesday, “Don Lemon just slapped the s*** out of Matt Lewis live on TV.”

Lewis, like me, is a conservative who has spent the past few years criticizing Trump and the Republican Party. When liberals are irrationally angry at us, it feels…misplaced. Either our criticism of Trump doesn’t go far enough for them, or we haven’t become full-fledged Democrats to prove our anti-Trump devotion. This is, of course, insane. Train your fire elsewhere.

Stop defending Hillary. Just stop it right now.

There is no more useless, ineffective and boneheaded decision liberals have made since Trump won than defending — to the death! — Hillary Clinton.

For one, she was a terrible candidate; it’s okay to admit that. For another, she polarized the country and half of us despise her. Pick a more strategic Joan of Arc. And lastly, she managed to lose — to Donald Trump. And yet you want us to believe she still has important things to say?

Reporters should report.

It sounds simple enough, but when reporters become Democratic talking heads, it helps no one. Trust in the media suffers, and Trump’s many lies and misdeeds blur with what journalists have deemed egregious. The perception that the media is anti-Trump only works in his favor.

Stop being stupid.

Remember common sense? Bring it back. Abolishing ICE, our main federal immigration enforcement agency, is a colossally stupid idea. Floating the possibility of impeaching Brett Kavanaugh, whose confirmation just jolted the GOP back out of its coma, is painfully dumb.

Stop putting Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who can barely explain a single cogent policy, on national television; let her run her local race. And recognize Michael Avenatti for what he is: a carnival barker who should be disavowed by every Democrat running for election anywhere.

Guys, I’m truly here to help. If Democrats don’t take the House and the Senate as they’re supposed to, and defeat Trump in 2020, they’ll have no one to blame but themselves. This shouldn’t be that hard.

S.E. Cupp is the host of “S.E. Cupp Unfiltered” on HLN. This column first appeared in the New York Daily News.

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