Although Millennials are often criticized for just wanting to hook up, never falling in love, and never going on any actual dates, there are twentysomethings out there for whom dating is about everything but sex. Cosmopolitan.com spoke with three women in their early 20s who are waiting until marriage to have sex, and yes, they're still going on dates, and yes, they've used Tinder.

1. "I don't have a problem bringing it up if he doesn't."

"I decided I wanted to wait when I read St. John Paul II's Theology of the Body. In it, he discusses how Christ loves us totally, definitely, and sacrificially through his body, and that is what sex was created for us to do as well — to love others totally, definitely, and sacrificially through out bodies. Most people I go on dates with are people who know I take my commitment to my Catholic faith seriously and know before going on a date with me that keeping sex sacred in the sacrament of marriage is important to me. The topic usually comes up pretty organically, though. It usually comes up during the DTR talk. I don't have a problem bringing it up if he doesn't. I feel like I have a lot of really solid, platonic friendships with guys because it sort of eliminates any possible sexual tension. But no, guys don't necessarily treat me much differently. Guys (and girls) are still very comfortable making dirty jokes around and with me, and talking about their sex lives with me. The nicest thing a guy's ever said to me when I told him I was waiting was, 'Your commitment to waiting just makes you that much more attractive to me.' The worst thing was, 'I don't know how you do that.'" —Sara*, 22

2. "A lot of guys are so accustomed to the virgin archetype that they worry they'll tarnish me, or think that I won't be any fun or that I'm conservative."

"My faith teaches me that sex is a deeply spiritual act and a symbol of intimacy with God. I feel most comfortable (and stoked about) participating in that sacredness within the commitment and context of marriage. If I catch the drift from a guy's bio on a dating app that he's just looking to hook up, I'll pass just because I don't feel like dealing with an awkward exchange ... and it would be undoubtedly awkward. So not wanting to have casual sex comes into play because my pool of potential men on apps can be fairly limited. This isn't something I bring up on first dates. It's sort of weird to be like, 'Hey, what do you want to drink? Also, what are your thoughts on banging?' Most guys I've casually dated ask me via text about my thoughts on sex. I think they catch on that I'm probably not going to be sleeping with them, and they're too nervous to have an in-person conversation with me about it. When I really think my relationship with someone is progressing toward something exclusive, I start a conversation. There's no hard and fast rule of when to tell a guy — every relationship is different, and I sort of just have to feel it out. I feel like guys try to treat me more gently but also assume a lot about me. A lot of guys are so accustomed to the virgin archetype that they worry they'll tarnish me, or think that I won't be any fun or that I'm conservative. I think the worst is when guys think that, just because I'm waiting to have sex, [that] means that I'm not a sexual being or that sex isn't attractive to me. Honestly, I haven't had a ton of great reactions from guys I've dated. But the other day, my coworker and I had a conversation about why I'm waiting, and she actually listened and told me that my thoughts made sense. That alone was so validating." —Madeline, 22

3. "I like making it known from the beginning, so if that person is wanting a sexual relationship before marriage, they're aware that it's something I'm not willing to have."

"I made the choice to wait until marriage when I was 15 years old. I grew up in an extremely religious household, and waiting was the biggest part of my sex education. My parents taught me that sex was only for married couples. This idea stuck with me, and as I got older and began dating, I realized it was something I truly wanted to do. I've used dating apps before, and the fact that I'm waiting to have sex always comes up. I like making it known from the beginning, so if that person is wanting a sexual relationship before marriage, they're aware that it's something I'm not willing to have. That's deterred people before, but I try to be as honest as possible. It always comes up on dates — I make it a point to start a conversation about it when talking about what I look for in a relationship. In general, I've noticed that men really respect my decision to wait. They see it as something that makes me unique, and most of the time, they feel that waiting allows us to focus on important aspects of relationships that aren't physical. The worst thing someone's ever done when I told them I was waiting to have sex was just end all communication. They didn't want a relationship that wasn't physical, and it was a deal breaker. This has hardly ever happened in my own experience, but when it did, it hurt. I met my current boyfriend online, and we had an instant connection. When I brought up to him that I was a virgin and was waiting for sex until marriage, he said he was a virgin as well. We're going to be engaged soon, and are both looking forward to our marriage and the special intimacy and bond that will come with that." —Jordan*, 22

*Names have been changed.

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Hannah Smothers Hannah writes about health, sex, and relationships for Cosmopolitan, and you can follow her on Twitter and Instagram

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