Obviously the main secret to Fantasy Football is picking the right players, then the right starting XI, then the right captain. However, things shouldn’t end there, there is still an art is how you order your XI. This art may not actually get you any more points so could be viewed as unnecessary vanity. How dare you! Order your troops right and not only can you benefit from a nicer team to look at but perhaps a nosey rival may be affected too.

A word of warning before you proceed: The world of team layout manipulation is a very seductive one. If you have an addictive personality then I’d really proceed with caution. I’ve seen Charlie Austin benched for his hattrick just because his horizontal stripes were making Lampard look too fat behind him. Don’t become one of these people, use these techniques responsibly. Always remember, this is a starting XI activity only. It’s always post transfers, captain choice and bench order. I’ll run you through my personal armoury of set-ups; maybe you have some of your own too.

Very superstitious, nothin’ more to say

First port of call is always making sure the captain is as central as possible. In last season’s striker dominated captain’s polls this was very easy in the standard 343, as well as the wondrous 523. With midfielders in a 343 it’s impossible of course. If not dead centre then as central as possible, make the best of what you’ve got, it needn’t be perfect. This season of course a combination of Alexis Sanchez and the 352 has been ideal. As has Eden Hazard, Stamford Bridge and the 352. It just looks right when the most important player in your team for the Gameweek is in the middle. I’d controversially say it’s even more important than the colour of their shirt…

Gok Wan, rivals nil

This approach is pure aesthetics but it can nourish the soul as well as the eyes. You colour co-ordinate your team to be the best-dressed team in town. The theory is the better you look the better you feel and the better you look the more seriously your rivals take your team. I personally prefer the more OCD approach of aiming for perfect symmetry here but the depressingly large army of candy-crushers out there might prefer blocking colours together. This like all the techniques relies on fortune to have the right colours to work with.

The racing stripe

This approach can also be called the power stripe because that’s what it’s really about, showcasing power. When you have a big defender, midfielder and striker from the same team then why not line those bad-boys up? The royal blue racing stripe of John Terry, Hazard and Diego Costa for example was pretty devastating in gw18. One of the beauties of the racing stripe is that most formations accommodate it. You don’t even need to call it a stripe. For example one of my dreams is Wolves get promoted this season so next year I can make a fish finger sandwich out of Spurs, Wolves and Swansea players.

Positions please

If the stars just aren’t aligning with your team in terms of colours, racing stripes etc then maybe you’ve still got a good spread of real life playing positions. If you have Baines put him in the left back position of your team, if you have Hazard stick him on the left and don’t let Sigurdsson wonder from the middle slot in your 352. This will give your team an element of reality and is great for team harmony with no players knocking on your door complaining about playing out of position. The luck element still applies however; you could have a defence full of right backs.

The psyche-out

I thought of this layout whilst doing a masters in psychology at the university of life. Most of us read from left to right, therefore why not order your players in order of strength from left to right? When your nosey rival sees Alexis, Hazard and Fabregas they will already be too terrified to even notice Victor Wanyama hiding on the right of your midfield. These techniques are all about impressions rather than actual point-pimping substance and this is a sure fire way to add an extra 5% to the sub-conscious.

Very superstitious, the Devil’s on his way

There may be a slot in your team where the player filling it keeps getting injured. Or maybe the opposite is the case and your player keeps scoring really well in a certain slot so you don’t want to rock the boat. I can fully understand the will to keep things stable here but I’m not a fan if it means getting in the way of any of the above options. The past is gone; it’s all about looking fabulous in the present!

The above are all options. The holy-grail is a colour co-ordinated symmetrical team with all players in their real-life positions and also ordered from left to right in order of strength. This will sadly probably never happen so it’s all about making the most of what you’ve got. The armoury of options should mean there is always at least one option which applies to your XI. All you need to know is that when you swap a player in from the bench for a starter in a different playing position they will appear in the slot furthest to the left. When it’s like for like position wise the incoming player simply takes over the same slot.

I look at this like a job interview. Regardless of how you dress for the interview your knowledge remains the same. Just like regardless of how you order your starting XI it is still the same XI players. You still try and look good for the interview though. Every gameweek is an interview, what sort of first impression are you leaving?