meereschristophers:

meereschristophers:

i know many people don’t believe in system hopping. I don’t want to believe in it either but it’s central to my life and how i was formed.

tw for child rape, torture, imprisonment, possible mind control/programming. Last paragraph is trigger-free again so feel free to skip to that.

our rapists were multiple too. they invaded our system and raped my inner body as well as many others in here (all the Christophers plus some others) and put us in cages and prisons and dungeons. they shaped our headspace. they made me split over and over and over just by hurting my inner body.

i mean i could be misinterpreting, misremembering things. i also am fairly sure that they did all these things while also hurting the outer body at the same time. when they didn’t have access to the outer body anymore they tried to reach us through “system hopping” but we could learn to defend ourselves and they can’t do that anymore. They haven’t tried in years. seems they needed access to our outer body in order to do this. probably some kind of mind control/programming??? idk. i don’t know how to explain it. i don’t want to either. to me it was like: they got into our system and into our headspace and imprisoned, hurt, tortured, raped my inner body and my system mates. thats how we remember things.

end of trigger warning

idk, if you need to unfollow me/us because we believe in system hopping feel free to do so. you shouldn’t follow us if it makes you uncomfortable. just trying to explain this bc a while ago i saw ppl post about how impossible system hopping is. and i whish I could agree. (btw this is sincere i’m not trying to be passive agressive and i hope i don’t come across as such - i really don’t mean it that way) – Christopher



Because someone asked: Yes, we do remember it literally and that’s how we see it. We might be wrong, we might come to interpret it differently later on, but for now, that’s how we see it. That they literally invaded our headspace/system space. Nothing was safe, not even Inside :/

Treating it like this, taking what we remember as literal truth, is what helps us most. It’s actually our therapist who suggested this approach - and it works. (She’s also heard about similar things happening to other systems she treats so it’s apparently not /that/ rare/unheard of). This is how we feel taken seriously by ourselves and each other (not everyone in here believes in intra-system travel though) and how we can recover and how we could learn to defend ourselves.

First of all we needed to learn how to distinguish between that kind of attack and a persecutor attack which isn’t always that easy. Then together with our therapist we worked on strengthening our headspace boundaries. They’re pretty strong now.



- Christopher



Edit:

Forgot to mention, we also did some consensual intra-system travel with another system we know irl who were in a crisis. One of our inner helpers went over there to try to help them (sadly he couldn’t as they needed different kinds of help than we do and he couldn’t provide that) and a couple of their kids came over here to get a break from their stressful situation “at home”. Everyone is long since back in their system where they belong and I don’t think we’re going to try this again. I don’t think it’s a very good idea, idk I don’t feel it’s really safe? Don’t really recommend it. On the other hand I don’t regret that we tried it when we did because we wanted to help and I think we did help some.

