A Marlborough father believes he has been thwarted by the family court system regarding access to his children after he and his ex-wife split up.

A heartbroken father has dropped his fight to spend more time with his young children.

For two years, Tom* has battled in court to see his two boys more than every other weekend.

But after yet another failed court hearing this week, the Marlborough man says the "emotional toll" on the children is too much.

He has now given full access to his ex-wife rather than put his children through any more heartache.

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"I'm ready to walk away if that's what I have to do for them, no-one wants to live like this and I have to make a stand.

SCOTT HAMMOND/STUFF Toys and bikes lay unused at Tom's house, after he dropped his battle to see more of his children.

"I love them very much and this has been all about them, not me, but enough is enough. The emotional toll is too high and this is not just a Marlborough issue but a nationwide one," he says.

"All I get from the courts is the runaround and nobody has ever given me a valid reason why I can't see more of them. Now I'm supposed to pay $3000 for a S133 psychological report [a suitability-to-care report] by a court appointed doctor to see more of the children I already care for."

Tom, who was diagnosed with a brain tumour last year, sees his children every second weekend and every other week during the school holidays. He was fighting for equal access, but would have settled for an extra two nights a week.

Figures from Statistics New Zealand show the number of one-parent families is expected to rise from 230,000 (in 2013) to 265,000 in 2038.

The number of solo male parents is expected to increase at a faster rate than single female parents, the statistics show. In 2038, solo male parents will make up 22 per cent of one-parent families, compared to 18 per cent in 2013.

"They are my biological children and I can't put them through any more of this emotional distress and constant drama.

"I am done settling for less. If she can't consent I will just have to take a step back. I can't see them even more destroyed by this than they already are.

"This will crucify me, it really will. It seems to me that she has all the rights I have virtually none and no-one wants to listen to the dad," says Tom, who represented himself in court at his last two appearances.

The Care of Children Act 2004 states its purpose is to "promote children's welfare and best interests, and facilitate their development, by helping to ensure that appropriate arrangements are in place for their guardianship and care".

Clause 4.3 highlights that "It must not be presumed that the welfare and best interests of a child (of any age) require the child to be placed in the day-to-day care of a particular person because of that person's gender."

But Tom says that as a father, he feels he has been thwarted "time and time" again by the family court system.

As well as support from his fiancee,Tom has turned to online forums for support and has joined the Marlborough group Justice For Fathers Marlborough NZ.

He also plans to attend a nationwide family court protest organised by The New Zealand Fathers' Rights Movement. The peaceful public protest is set to take place outside Blenheim Court on February 9 from 11am. The group raises awareness about the need for shared parenting in New Zealand.

"I'm not the only one who gets a raw deal. There are many fathers out there who suffer because of the way the family court operates," Tom says.

The New Zealand Fathers' Rights Movement has 1228 followers on Facebook.

Group advocate and member Dillon Chisnell says the family court system is biased towards women.

"For fathers, it's guilty until proven innocent.

"From my experience it's fundamentally skewed towards mothers but I know that society has changed in the last 20 to 30 years, moving away from the patriarchal age where the mother stayed at home and the father went out to earn the bacon.

"The system needs to catch up too. I've been where this dad is, I was put under so much pressure and was so defeated that I almost gave up. The only thing that kept me going was that my father abandoned me when I was 6-months-old and I didn't want that legacy for my son," he says.

Family Law lawyer and mediator Michelle Duggan says parental rights do not distinguish between a mother and father and are determined by a court by what is in the best interests of the child or children.

The Nelson lawyer says custody rights have been replaced by arrangements and orders with shared orders put in place giving both parents day-to-day care becoming more common.

In some circumstances, shared orders can be deemed impractical because of the age or stage of the children and each parent's work commitments, she says.

*Tom is not the man's real name, but a pseudonym to protect the identity of his children.