

Cory Schneider can do no wrong in the eyes of Canucks fans.

And his impressions are no exception.

Cory Schneider. Superb goaltender. Compelling interviewee. Master impressionist.

The Canucks goalie has been on CBC’s After Hours on two different occasions, discussing various aspects of his game, his life, and the Vancouver Canucks. During both interviews, Schneider broke out some amazing impressions of some of his teammates and his coach.

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We decided it wasn’t enough to just marvel at his mimickry. We had to rate them.

Click past the jump to see how we scored Cory Schneider’s impressions!

The first thing that we had to do was to come up with a scoring system, to accurately judge how good each impression was. So here’s what we did. In an interview Monday on the Team 1040, ab-licious Canucks winger Chris Higgins (whose jersey can you be yours for free if you like our new facebook page, thanks to The Fan Zoo) was asked his opinion on who does the best impressions on the Canucks. Here’s what he said (you can listen to the clip yourself here, the question comes up at the 7:00 mark):

"Cory’s probably got about three of them there that are unbelievable. […] You guys probably wouldn’t her him talk a lot, but Roger Takahashi, our strength coach… if we had a clip of him talking and a clip of Cory talking afterwards, that’s a guaranteed laugh for me every time."

Ok… So we are using the Takahashi Rating System, scored 1 to Takahashi, where a Takahashi is basically a perfect score (and it’s equivalent to a 5 for you statheads out there).

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First up is Cory’s renowned impression of Jannik Hansen:

Of course, this impression has immediate impact, cuz it’s just damn funny. Hansen has a comical voice anyway, but when someone else is doing it, it seems even funnier. That said, while Cory has Jannik’s cadence and acecnt down pat, it’s a bit too exaggerated and froggy to be a Takahashi-rated impression. Funny? Absolutely. Accurate? Almost, but not quite. Frankly, this impression’s inaccuracy makes it even funnier, somehow, because the impression becomes its own character of sorts – kind of like Jason Sudekis’ Joe Biden.

Rating: 3.7 – If this impression was a Canuck, it would be a solid second line centerman. Really good, but capable of more lately. It’s gets a RYAN KESLER.

Next is Cory’s impression of coach Alain Vigneault (skip to the 9:52 mark):

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This gets a few extra points but AV is good for a laugh anyway. I mean the guy is FILLED with giggles. That, and making fun of people of authority is always worth a few bonus marks. However, Schneider’s impression of his coach is probably the weakest of the three. He has the slightly raspy voice down, but there’s not enough accent there, and he definitely needs a lozenge to get it spot on.

Rating: 3.1 – This impression is a third liner, with the possibility of moving up with a little more practice. Strong, but could pack more offensive punch. It’s gets a JANNIK HANSEN.

Finally, here is Cory’s impression of teammate, noted agitator, prolific goal scorer and obvious Frenchman Alex Burrows (the video itself is long, but the impression starts off the clip):

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Brilliant stuff here. He’s got "da haccent" down pat, he’s got the slight gurgle in his throat nailed and he’s got his cadence and wording worked out perfectly. Of all the impressions Cory has done on After Hours (aka Cory’s Comedy Club), his Burrows impression is by far the best. This is one that would make @windaturd proud!

Rating: 4.4. Assuming, of course, that a Takahashi rating is a perfect score, this is about as perfect as it can get. Equally funny and accurate, this impression is a first-line winger capable of entertaining at any level. Need an impression to muck about in the trenches or play top line minutes and score timely goals? This is it. This impression gets an ALEX BURROWS! (see what I did there?)

We can only hope that there are many more appearances on Cory’s Comedy Club After Hours for Cory Schneider, and that he regales us with more impressions, because if they’re anything like these ones, they’re sure to entertain and delight.





