From: Robert T In Wisconsin [Email him]

I would like to begin the process of declaring Ann Coulter (peace be upon her) the patron saint of the Alt-Right. There is no wiser or fiercer protector residing on the North American Alt-Right landmass. I well realize that technically our beloved and most virtuous Ann Coulter (peace be upon her) should be in the hereafter before canonization can proceed, but we live in unusual times and I believe a special dispensation should be made.

There is substantial precedent that two documented and verified miracles must occur before sainthood can be granted. I would like to point out that on the eighth day of November in the year of our Lord, two thousand and sixteen (a holy day, hence forth to be remembered each year by the simple and purifying rite of mailing a marked for Trump ballot to David Brooks [Email him] of the New York Times, the premier spawning ground of Quislings) the first miracle occurred, Donald J. Trump was elected President of the United States.

Clearly, Ann Coulter (peace be upon her) deserves seminal credit for this miracle, primarily through the two Holy Writs she flawlessly revealed: ¡ADIOS, AMERICA! and the March 30, 2016, epistle titled: “Only Trump Can Bring GOP Victory In The Electoral College” which prophetically affirmed Trump's electoral path to victory with white voters. Truly, this last scriptura was a miracle. I challenge all Leftist intellectuals, past, present or future to produce such a marvelous, prophetic and mathematically exact work through their own efforts, without resorting to the deus ex machina of appeasing illegal immigrants—it simply can not be done.

While Trump's victory violated no known natural laws of the Alt-Right, and thus technically should not be considered a miracle, the fact remains that never has such an event occurred before in American history and the Liberal Left is at a complete loss, and thus we should consider it a true miracle, for no known laws of the Liberal Left can explain this event. Also, as an act of conciliatory kindness to the Left, we should consider it as a one-off miracle, for it would be less of a traumatic shock to their worldview.

I believe a second miracle will be shortly accomplished. Once again Ann Coulter (peace be upon her) has revealed new and holy scripture (which should be interpreted literally and in its clear and plain meaning). Scripture, which illuminates the straight and narrow path for the first one hundred days of Trump's presidency. This scripture can be summarized in three holy words—BUILD THE WALL. This Great—and timeless—Commandment also has the unprecedented merit of being easily and unambiguously translated into Spanish, Arabic or any other language as needed.