Donald Trump is all a flutter, narcissistic hare brain that he is, with the upcoming 4th of July celebration in Washington, where he’ll wave his dwarfed digits at the parade in his honor — just like his BFF Kim Jong-Un gets to do all the time. He’s undoubtedly looking forward to penning Kim another love letter right after the parade, just one boy dictator to another, telling him all about the wondrous fly over, the record breaking crowds (of course) and the brand new Sherman tanks, all in a gaggle like geese. Except there’s a problem.

The only tank I want to see. pic.twitter.com/HFA8OXumS2 — jylynn🇪🇸🇮🇪 (@jylynn) July 1, 2019

Now, here’s a tank, and if this little guy is named Sherman, Trump might be in business after all, with Sherman’s tank. Or, maybe the Pentagon can explain, “The *resident asked for tanks, and we said, ‘sure, man’ we’ve got some new ones.”

Twitter is leaping into action with solutions for this quandary,

Just leave a few spaces in the parade and play a soundtrack of tanks rolling past. He’ll think they’re real. Can’t wait to see him salute the tank commanders. Will he wear his Cadet Covfefe uniform with the Purple Bone Spurs? — Privateer (@bhiltz2206) July 2, 2019

How about the Sherman tanks all went to the moon, which is a part of Mars, to join Space Force? — Ursula Faw (@ursulafaw56) July 2, 2019

"The President wants Sherman tanks in for his fourth of July parade. We need a new Sherman tanks in three days, and I know just the troops to do it" 🤷🏻‍♂️ 🙄 pic.twitter.com/HLowRfPW7I — Łøɍđ & ŁȺđɏ ĐøᵾȼħɇƀȺǥ 🌊 (@CHARleeTrauma) July 1, 2019

There are enough running Shermans still in the wild to actually pull this off. — Darol (@darolh) July 2, 2019

I wonder how that new press secretary is coming along? She got bruised in a scuffle in North Korea, when reporters were rushing to get near Trump and she can’t be pleased with having to explain this kerfuffle the first time she gets up to the podium — and just when will that be now, anybody know? Maybe she can call up Sean Spicer. You may remember his wondrous feat of losing an aircraft carrier — he’s an expert on military hardware and just the man to explain to the press secretary how to find Trump some Sherman tanks, because you know the *resident’s going to throw a tantrum and hurl his tommy tippee cup and everything when he doesn’t see them rolling down Pennsylvania Avenue. Independence Day so far is shaping up to be a Trumpian fiasco.

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