Kazaam Blu-ray Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf, November 4, 2018

It's easy to understand why Hollywood tried for a short amount of time to make basketball player Shaquille O'Neal a movie star. He's an unusual screen presence, with massive size and spirit, and he brings a built-in audience with him, tempting NBA fans into the multiplex to see what the star is up to when he's not on the court. There's a long list of athletes who've made the transition to acting, but for O'Neal, dramatic legitimacy was probably never in the cards. Making an impression in 1994's "Blue Chips," the hulking man made a critical error in judgement for his follow-up, trusting the Disney touch with "Kazaam," a family film that turns O'Neal into a rapping genie with a magic boombox trying to help out a streetwise kid with his daddy issues. The intent is clear, giving the star over to his young admirers for a PG-rated adventure that's heavy on slapstick. However, in the hands of director Paul Michael Glaser, "Kazaam" turns into one big chore to sit through, clinging to the comfort of formula while acting is uniformly awful, failing to hide O'Neal's lack of thespian training.Young Max (Francis Capra) is a troubled kid, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that his mother, Alice (Ally Walker), is about to remarry, bringing a responsible fireman into the family home. Rejecting the change as he deals with his biological father's abandonment at the age of two, Max pours his energy into mischief, dealing with older boys who can't stand his deceptive shenanigans as they sample criminal activity. In the midst of chaos one afternoon, Max accidentally unleashes Kazaam (Shaquille O'Neal) from his magical boombox, releasing a genie who's been cooped up for too long. Granted three wishes by his magical pal, Max isn't ready to deal with Kazaam's offer, paying closer attention to the revelation of his father's whereabouts, seeking to locate Nick (James Acheson), who's now a successful club owner running an underground bootleg music business for crime lord Malik (Marshall Manesh). Desperate to reconnect with Nick, Max puts himself in harm's way to secure a relationship, while Kazaam's rap skills and boombox ownership are targeted by Malik, who wants to possess the genie to help rule the city.The screenplay by Christian Ford and Roger Soffer isn't taking any chances, trying to keep things easily digestible for younger viewers and their parents. Max is dealing with fairly routine domestic issues, refusing to play nice with the new household addition, despite his willingness to be a stable guardian for a kid who needs the attention. There's Max's frazzled mother, who can't control her son, and a school life that largely consists of troubling behavior with teachers and antagonism from bullies, who don't take kindly to the teenager's games of denial and deception. Max is lost, building a playground for himself inside an abandoned building, giving him privacy to reflect on his sadness, dreaming of a reunion with Nick, who left him long ago. All the psychological boxes are checked off in the screenplay, setting Max up for a journey of realization, finally grasping just what he has in life. However, before "Kazaam" starts to ride the rails of predictability, it has to introduce its genie.The fantasy aspects of "Kazaam" are certainly bright, with Glazer working to transform the genie's antics into "fun," as the character initially has trouble scraping the rust off his powers. Once back to normal, Kazaam gives Max what he wants, which includes his first wish: a junk food storm, where candy and burgers fill the boy's hidden wonderland like a rising flood. It's not a bad idea, but it's the last bit of appealing frivolity in the screenplay, which quickly turns Kazaam into a puppy, forced to follow Max around until his makes his final two wishes. Pranks ensue, with the genie trying to disrupt his master's comfort level, showing up for breakfast (for some reason, he makes French toast fly) and on the street, but Max is consumed with finding his father, forming the primary plot of "Kazaam," where the child suddenly realizes what his absentee parent is really like. That's right, everyone, Nick is an evil music bootlegger.The criminal aspects of "Kazaam" are undercooked, as Malik hopes to make a fortune selling secret recordings of nightclub performances. Or something like that. The particulars aren't exactly clear, as the writing grows more interested in Malik's push to acquire Kazaam's boombox, which is his home and portable spark factory for the genie's stage performances, with the mystical force becoming a darling of the local rap scene in Nick's nightclub. "Kazaam" tries to form some type of villainy for Max and the genie to overcome, but it doesn't take. The effort is more confident with childish antics, including Kazaam and Max enjoying an introductory bike race, and a few weird displays of magic offer their intended whimsy. But Glazer is determined to generate some level of adversity for the leading characters, and this obsession makes the picture feel heavy and menacing when it should play as lightly as possible. After all, this is feature where Shaquille O'Neal plays a genie. Giving the endeavor a slightly violent edge is a bad idea to go with all the other bad ideas.