Farage v Brand – who won? (Picture: BBC/PA)

It was one of the most hotly-anticipated Question Time clashes of 2014 – and a clear winner emerged out of the loudmouth barnfight between Nigel Farage and Russell Brand.

But this wasn’t quite the clash of the titans some were hoping for.

It was scrappy, vindictive and petty – exactly what the first set of questions about the ‘petty, adversarial nature of politics’ were complaining about.

Brand started by attacking MPs for only bothering to show up in parliament when they’re voting on their pay – even though a dodgy internet meme demonstrating this has already been discredited.


Farage moaned about journalists fixating about what kind of tie Ed Miliband or David Cameron wears, even though this is obviously really important.



In the end they only brushed shoulders rather than full-on collided in the opening exchanges.

Brand moaned about ‘that dude on the end of the table’ who ‘spent his time in business and the City – the people most people think politicians truly work for’.

Farage huffed and puffed, before attacking Brand for his policy of not voting. The comedian’s comeback got a big round of applause: ‘Give us something to vote for!’ First blood for Brand…

Brand 1 – Farage 0

Then came a series of loaded questions about immigration, the highlight of the programme.

Farage suggested it was responsible for Britain becoming a country that is ‘always playing catch-up’.

Brand’s response was superb. He suggested it was the City who were taking away our jobs, not immigrants. ‘He’s pointing at the disabled and immigrants and holding his nose,’ he said. And then came his best attack of the night:

‘As much as any of us, I enjoy seeing Nigel Farage in the pub with a fag and a pint laughing off his latest scandals about breast-feeding or whatever, I enjoy it. But this man is not a cartoon character. He ain’t Del Boy. He ain’t Arthur Daley. He is a pound shop Enoch Powell and we’ve got to watch him.’

Wham!

Brand 2 – Farage 0

Farage was reeling, but tried to fight back. He pressed Brand on whether he thinks Britain is overcrowded. ‘No!’ Brand shot back. Then came a great missed opportunity for Farage to make a decent point:

Brand: We need more money for public resources.

Farage: Where are they going to come from?

Brand: I’m glad you asked, mate…

Farage: (sighs)…

Brand: (long-winded diatribe about tax exploitation)

It was, in its own way, rather sad for Farage. He just wasn’t fast enough. And that made it…

Brand 3 – Farage 0

Then came an exchange over the privatisation of the NHS.

Farage declared this was something he had ‘thought about’. So had his party, which had flirted with the idea of abandoning the principle that the NHS should be free at the point of us.

As it was, the Ukip leader insisted, his 2015 general election manifesto wouldn’t go any further than pointing out that outsourcing ‘has not delivered good value for money or good patient healthcare’.



Brand agreed, but didn’t really want to admit it. He made the same points in rather more flowery language.

‘I think that profit has no business anywhere near healthcare,’ he said.

‘I’m very worried there are 71 members of parliament who currently stand to benefit from further privatisation of the NHS and that makes me further disillusioned with our parliamentary process.’

All very well, but no clear winners here. The score remained…

Brand 3 – Farage 0

And that just left time for a final exchange about grammar schools.

Brand admitted he didn’t know much about them, so tried to attack Ukip again more generally.

‘I worry about the Ukip scenario. There is a lot of stagnancy in politics today, people don’t seem to have very good ideas. But Nigel isn’t the future. He don’t have no good ideas.’

On education, he added: ‘It should certainly be free. Not 40 grand a year like he paid.’

This was spicy stuff, but a bit wide of the mark. It was like a belter of a punt from Wayne Rooney that soars high into the stands.

Farage’s response, by contrast, was convincing, powerfully argued and dead on target.

‘Social mobility in this country has declined,’ he said.

‘It’s like we’ve gone back 50 years in terms of the class structure of who is running Britain. I have no doubt in my mind one of the biggest mistakes we made is the wanton destruction of hundreds of superb grammar schools in our country.’


It was as if the man who’s torn apart the Westminster elite had finally shown up in the last ten minutes. A consolation goal, yes, but the result was already sealed.

That made the final score:

Brand 3 – Farage 1

Not exactly how you’d choreograph it, to be honest, but that’s the way with live TV these days.

There’s no doubt that Brand came off best. Farage, who has found this year that his TV appearances have helped him in general, looked a little bit like he was having rings run around him.

That may change soon, when he tries a different format that will probably work a bit better.

The Ukip leader is going round to dinner with Steph and Dom, the posh couple from Gogglebox, in a one-off documentary airing next week. Reports suggest a lot of booze was consumed. Watch this space…

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