By Dave Caldwell

At the beginning of the football season, I asked my younger son, Dan, if he’d like to go to a Rutgers game, being that he was entering his senior year and we’d never done this All-American tradition that parents do with their children (in exchange for paying their tuition bill).

I could tell Dan really did not want to go -- but, nice young man he is, he said he’d go see the Scarlet Knights if I wanted to, since his ticket would be free, anyway. Since I can no longer justify dragging my adult sons to activities unless they are weddings or funerals, I just let it go.

“Rutgers sucks, and no one cares,” he said matter-of-factly at one point during this dreadful season.

So, when Rutgers played Michigan State in its home finale Saturday, four years passed without us going to a game together. He went to exactly one Rutgers home game as a student, when he was a freshman. That was the 2016 game the Scarlet Knights lost to Michigan, 78-0.

He’d gone to the game on a rainy night with a couple of friends. Dan texted me at halftime, with Michigan holding a 43-0 lead, and told me that they were leaving to get something to eat. He told me the patrons at the restaurant in New Brunswick actually applauded when Rutgers finally got a first down.

Three years later, he texted me about that night, jokingly: “I still get nightmares from the Michigan game I went to freshman year!”

I feel cheated, in a way. Not by Dan, but by Rutgers, to whom Dan’s mother and I have paid thousands (and thousands) of dollars for his education. I can’t go to his classes, but I can go to football games, usually the biggest event on any college campus, but the Scarlet Knights just can’t compete in the Big Ten Conference.

I feel Dan has been cheated, too. His older brother, Ben, is finishing up work for his bachelor’s degree from the University of North Carolina, which won the NCAA men’s basketball championship two years ago and has a resurgent football team. Sports are a big deal at UNC.

Some college students don’t care about sports, but Dan is not one of them. His tastes are quirky. He has been a Sacramento Kings fan since he was in seventh grade. The Kings are mediocre, but he sticks with them, in part, because he might be their only fan from Jersey.

The Kings play one game a year against each of the East Coast teams, and for each of the last four years, we have driven to Philadelphia to see the Kings play the 76ers, then go have cheesesteaks -- a fun night out, and cheap in the first two years, because the 76ers stank, too.

Dan does pay a little attention to the Rutgers football team, catching up on the internet to see how much the Scarlet Knights lost this time. He has caught the buzz that Greg Schiano has emerged as a favorite among students and alumni to return to coach the football team.

Dan is far more interested in the Rutgers basketball team, which won seven Big Ten games last year -- not the worst in the league -- and has a coach, Steve Pikiell, who is building a program and enthusiasm. He tells me he would like to go to more home games, if he could.

Football is something else. A college football game is more than three hours long, and is outside, so it requires a little bit of a commitment -- and it is just not worth it to most students, let alone parents. Visiting opponents’ fans all but take over Rutgers’ SHI Stadium for games.

Rutgers has won three of 35 Big Ten games since my son entered school. Chris Ash started coaching the football team at the same time -- and he is gone already, fired Sept. 29 after another humiliating loss to Michigan, by only 52-0 this time.

Dan is on schedule to earn his bachelor’s degree with honors next May, and I am happy he got a solid college education in-state at a fair price. He has benefited from grants and scholarships, so he won’t have huge loans to repay, an important consideration to him.

The Big Ten was supposed to be this big boon for Rutgers -- something that would enrich the college experience in addition to pouring thousands of dollars into the coffers. Now a student and his old man don’t even feel like going to a game. It is sad, really.

Dave Caldwell is a freelance journalist who lives in South Orange. His son Dan is a journalism major who graduated from Columbia High School in Maplewood.

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