Yesterday, I traveled up to Marin County to watch Guy Fieri testify in the trial of Max Wade, the high school kid who, according to the prosecution, stole Guy Fieri’s yellow Lamborghini in March 2011 (when Wade was 16), and got caught after he tried to shoot some people in April 2012. I made the trip in the hopes that years from now, I’ll be able to tell my grandkids that I watched the Mayor of Flavortown testify in an attempted murder trial.

Now, if you’ve read anything about the Max Wade trial, you know that, incredibly, the Fieri angle might be the least interesting part of it. I was able to catch both closing arguments. I’ll have more on that later, but in the meantime, I thought I’d share just a few Fieri-related anecdotes:

1. Yes, Guy Fieri wears his pinky rings and assorted bangles when he shows up to court.

A wise man named Michael Bay once said, “I don’t change my style for anybody. Pussies do that.” It seems Mr. Fieri subscribes to the same philosophy, arriving to court with at least two giant gold rings and a spiky bracelet on his opposite wrist. He was wearing some kind of fancy button-up (visible logos, contrasty piping), untucked, and his spiky hair looked just as crunchy as the pulled pork wontons in his Asian Invasion fusion taco platter.

2. Yes, Guy Fieri keeps his pinky rings and assorted bangles on while walking through a metal detector.

I took my belt and zippered jacket off before walking through, while Guy just strolled through with three AR-15s worth of metal on his fingers, wrists, ears and neck. As he was being patted down, I overheard him say “Yup, just like everyone else, haha!”

3. Yes, Guy Fieri pronounces his fake ethnic name with a fake ethnic accent, even while under oath.

If you’re as big a Guy Fieri fan as me, you already know that Guy Fieri was born Guy Ferry, and changed his last name to Fieri in honor of Giuseppe Fieri, his grandfather or great grandfather, depending on who you ask. Unlike those of us who pronounce our ethnic names the anglicized way for ease of use (man-SEE-knee instead of mahn-CHEE-knee, say), Guy goes with the full trill, “Fietti.” This seems like some kind of minor perjury if you ask me.

4. Guy’s Occupation: Chef.

Guy was only on the stand for about five minutes, to establish who he was, and that he’d never given anyone permission to take his car. But this was probably my favorite exchange: