Hear Me Out

Michael Bloomberg, the former seventy-two-term mayor/dictator of New York City, has encountered a new, seemingly unbeatable foe as he rises in the polls: his past.

Politicians who have been in the public eye for a long time are target-rich environments when it comes to finding things from long ago to bite them in the you-know-what.

Bloomberg’s backside is under attack by a school of sharks right now.

When he is not torpedoing his chances of winning any votes in the Heartland by calling farmers stupid, Bloomy is being haunted by some straight-up racist comments from his not-too-distant past, when he said “black and Latino males” “don’t know how to find jobs, don’t know what their skill sets are, don’t know how to behave in the workplace,” at which point he was bailed out by an interviewer before saying something about his weekend plans to torture a litter of puppies.

He is at least an equal-opportunity condescending moron, hating white Midwesterners as much as he does people of color.

Let us not forget that when Bloomberg is not sweeping the hand of hate over entire demographics, he is Public Enemy No. 1 of every legal gun owner in America.

I have long contended that northeastern Republicans are really just moderate Democrats from a bygone era. Bloomberg is proof positive of that. He’s merely transitioned across the Democratic spectrum. His paternalistic condescension and authoritarian impulses — he’s the one who decided how much soda the people of his city should drink — make him a perfect Democrat.

One of the more interesting aspects of this 2020 Democratic political drama is that every seemingly “sane” alternative to Bernie Sanders who emerges as the Next Great Non-Socialist Hope ends up being a bigger publicity liability than the previous one. Bernie really doesn’t have to do much other than stand around belching up the word “Billionaires!” every few minutes whilst his opponents wage a “dumb stuff he/she said” war of attrition.

At the rate things are going this week, Bloomberg may yet emerge as the most awful person in a field of remarkably awful people. Stay tuned, we’ll let you know if any video is found of him complaining about nursing homes being a waste of real estate and advocating for their inhabitants to be euthanized en masse.

[Editor’s Note: PJM’s VodkaPundit has you covered for the Democrat debate in Las Vegas tonight with another NSFL (Not Safe for your Liver) drunkblog. The debate begins at 9 p.m. Eastern and the drunkblog will fire up 15 minutes before that. You’re not going to want to miss this.]

¿Dónde está la biblioteca, Elena?

The pattern won’t be broken anytime soon. Amy Klobuchar is the next up-and-comer in the Dem ranks and she’s already wandering into “OMG WILL SHE JUST SHUT UP” territory.

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Bee Me

Obama: 'I Have No Memory Of Anyone Named Joe Biden' https://t.co/wLXhilcwOR — The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) February 18, 2020

The Kruiser Kabana

The great George Carlin at his best discussing the fundamental differences between football and baseball … pic.twitter.com/tNToBrldH2 — Super 70s Sports (@Super70sSports) February 18, 2020

This Briefing is still 100% coronavirus-free.

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PJ Media Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”