"There's no point in being a grifter if it's the same as being a citizen."—Henry Gondorff, The Sting.

On the cable teevee this year, longtime religious bunco artist Peter Popoff has been gulling the rubes into buying his "miracle spring water" which, according to Popoff, will bring you CASH MONEY if you drink it, or sprinkle it on your wallet, or something. Now, though, Popoff has branched out, and he is pitching miracle seeds. I don't know what's actually supposed to grow from the miracle seeds, but Popoff promises that, if you plant them, you can expect to increase your monthly income. I find the connection between agriculture and currency dubious, but I'm more interested in what happens if you water your miracle seeds with the miracle spring water. Does an office of the U.S. Mint spring up amid the gladiolas? Do you suddenly have Tim Geithners sprouting all over your yard? I worry about things like this.

In any event, this is Peter Popoff's second time around the universe of suckers that make American entrepreneurship the envy of the world. He crashed and burned in the 1980s when his wife was caught on a concealed radio, feeding him details on the problems of the people who'd come to his hootenannies. This is not dissimilar to the several dozen times that El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago has augered in, only to rely upon his hawk-like instinct to find the celebrity updraft and start again. It's no different now that he's president* either. From CNN:

"Everybody agrees that ObamaCare doesn't work. Premiums & deductibles are far too high - Really bad HealthCare! Even the Dems want to replace it, but with Medicare for all, which would cause 180 million Americans to lose their beloved private health insurance," Trump said on Twitter. There is no evidence that there is another health care reform proposal coming from the GOP.

"The Republicans are developing a really great HealthCare Plan with far lower premiums (cost) & deductibles than ObamaCare. In other words it will be far less expensive & much more usable than ObamaCare. Vote will be taken right after the Election when Republicans hold the Senate & win back the House. It will be truly great HealthCare that will work for America. Also, Republicans will always support Pre-Existing Conditions. The Republican Party will be known as the Party of Great HealtCare. Meantime, the USA is doing better than ever & is respected again!"

Just re-elect him and Truly Great Healthcare will appear right before your eyes!

Literally nobody believes this. But he will sell it relentlessly for the next couple of years and then, if he gets re-elected, and the Congress swings back, or if the current Supreme Court rules the way its political masters want it to rule, then the healthcare system will be thrown into chaos, and it will be decided that health-care reform is too deadly an issue. Meanwhile, Peter Popoff will get rich because there will be a run on miracle spring water because everyone is going broke from getting sick.

Act today!

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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