There is a weightlessness to the descent into the place that scares me most A finality and loss of control that is frightening Liberating The leap into the abyss of my darkness Shows a new perspective on faith Of the sorrowful hour that needs my trust in its cathartic surrender I have let this night of my soul consume me Let it swallow me alive Let it burn me Let it take me over I have no wish to keep up the fight to keep my shadows at bay I have learned to accept everything I fear Let the finality of smoky candles remind me I am kneeling on sacred ground The rest in the cold solstice has always carried the gift of renewal Winter silence, the death that is necessary The place my true self will be tested Where I will be brought to the bottom, face-down sobbing Brought into this sanctuary of unshed tears Bathed and cleansed by their salt; this water my salvation Where I feel the years past I never knew were still alive A proper funeral and space to grieve deeply Silently the divine guidance stands guard An illuminated ring of prayers leads the path My body curled in fetal position Rocked by the chaos and the unknown as this womb holds me The agony of death so close to the opening Weightlessness giving me the freedom of my full sensation My vessel being emptied of doubt by overflowing with it I fall Finding solace in the promise of the dawning day The deeper this darkness plows, ravaging and rattling me The more light I can contain