The Celestial Janitor 5-26-19

You may not get all the nuances that make this joke so funny unless you have been a Mormon for a few decades.

Three men die and present themselves to the Lord. The Lord tells them, "Before you can enter into the Celestial Kingdom, you must first have fulfilled the measure of your creation."

The first man steps forward confidently and says, "Lord, I have converted thousands of your children to the gospel."

The Lord says, "That was good, but it wasn't the purpose for which you were created. You go to the Telestial Kingdom."

The second man, upon seeing the effects of the uncompromising standards of the Lord upon the first man, steps forward hesitantly and says, "I have moved mountains in your name, oh Lord."

The Lord says, "Good, but that wasn't why you were created. You go to the Telestial Kingdom."

The third man dares not to come forward or even look up. He says simply, "Lord, I'm afraid that I haven't fulfilled the measure of my creation. For forty years, I've worked as a lowly janitor. During that time I've cleaned 1,492,387 toilets, but I have done little else with my life."

The Lord smiles, puts his arms around the man, and says, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Thou hast fulfilled the mission for which you were created. Enter into the rest of thy Lord." The Lord then leads the man to a great and magnificent temple and into the bathroom. There are hundreds of toilets. "Welcome to your eternal life, my faithful servant. You may continue the work for which you were created."

The man turns to the Lord and says, "Lord, would you mind if I went to the Telestial Kingdom instead?"

--Tie