I feel really bad for July 3rd. You never see anybody putting on any fireworks shows the day before the Fourth. And unless it’s a Saturday or a Sunday, you’ve always got to go into work on the third. I remember last year, the Fourth was on a Thursday, and I was just positive that my boss was going to be like, “Hey everybody, just go ahead and make it a four-day weekend. Enjoy.” But no, he kept threatening to make us come in on Saturday to make up for lost time.

So I got onto my boss’s computer while he was out of his office for a second. I sent a giant group email to everyone, saying, “You know what everybody? Enjoy the weekend. Take Friday. I’ll see you all on Tuesday.” And then I deleted it from his outbox after it was sent. I figured, he couldn’t fire all of us, right?

But yeah, I guess I wasn’t paying attention to what management and all of those executives were dealing with. We were way behind on our June projections, and corporate had given our team a few days extension to get everything in. And then nobody showed up and our department got shut down. Whatever, that job sucked anyway.

Happy Third of July.