Some would argue that Visakan could have turned his life around at any point in time, since we almost always have a say in these matters.

No doubt, he also has the right amount of raw intelligence that is deemed necessary to succeed in Singaporean society. And throughout our conversation, he demonstrates an astute sense of awareness, consistently revealing sharp yet empathetic insights into GEP’s impact on his life.

In other words, even if you didn’t know Visakan was an ex-GEPer, you would still have guessed he’s kind of smarter than most of us.

Despite his own traits that stand him in good stead, there were innate characteristics about the way GEP worked that contributed to his atypical education journey.

For starters, it was a breeding ground for complacency. Success in Singapore tends to be measured in terms of academic excellence. So when you easily get “really good grades for reading, comprehension and math”, you believe you have succeeded.

Visakan also shares that GEPers were taught to “swallow a casual ‘you are the cream of the crop and future leaders of Singapore’ message from teachers”. Therefore he always just assumed he was going to make it big one day.

“I developed an unnatural, clueless, and naive sort of self-confidence or arrogance that would take me many years to unlearn. Even now I don’t think I’ve completely unlearned it,” he adds.

Looking back, Visakan still somewhat resents the ways people treated him for simply being in GEP. This included becoming a “trophy child” for his father, as well as being singled out in front of several classes by teachers.

He laments, “My brother always called me his ‘gifted brother’. Fuck, why does it have to be a thing? I just happen to want to read a lot of books. Then there’s all this social baggage and prestige nonsense.”

As a child who just wanted to fit in, he could also tell when his peers resented GEPers simply for being different.

It didn’t help that being a minority race in an even smaller minority social segregation made him feel more left out.

“Each way in which you are a misfit or minority forces you to make sense of the madness of reality from scratch. So you develop a political consciousness and question systems very early on, both as a result of the GEP curriculum itself and being a misfit. I don’t know if all this robs you of a certain innocence,” he muses.

Essentially, GEP may treat kids like adults, but they’re still at the whims of grownups and the government who want to dictate their life.

For instance, when Visakan was 12, he was hauled down to MOE’s headquarters to answer for his ‘lousy’ PSLE grades. It was a situation that he can only describe as “fucking dystopian” and “like he had committed treason”. He was then asked to sign a Personal Statement of Commitment to perform better as a GEPer.

All this even before puberty.

Between the high expectations placed on GEPers and the reality of not living up to these expectations, it’s no surprise that this jarring disconnect fundamentally messes with anyone’s emotional and mental psyche.