Hipster Puritans and the Characters They Ruin

So I came across a thread on 8chan about a Swedish gaming site featuring an article trying to “fix” female characters that were deemed “problematic”.



Seriously. Why is it ALWAYS Sweden?



http://8ch.net/gamergate/res/419549.html





Now, right off the bat I just want to say that I find it to be extraordinarily arrogant to look at something that has been established for years, say “this doesn’t appeal to me, I’m going to make it better” and essentially shit all over the creators original work. It’s like with everyone making fandubs back in the day for no other reason than to say “FUCK YOU” to dubbing companies because they “ruined” your precious show. The Yu-Gi-Oh fandub rings a bell.



There was a similar website that took designs of Super Heroines and “fixed” them, but we’ll talk about that in a bit.

The article itself is from a website called Svampriket (Mushroom Kingdom) and it is in Swedish so here’s a link to the translated version if you feel inclined to judge for yourself.



https://archive.today/cJWDw



You’ll have to forgive the godawful translations, this IS Google, after all, but the basic jist of the article, written by Anna Nilsson is that a select group of female videogame characters get a “makeover” in order to make them look “less problematic”. These are her attempts to “fix” characters that have been fleshed out and developed for years.



Now, for the record, I’m going to try my damndest to remain unbiased. Obviously I’m going to be a snarky asshole but I WILL give credit to where credit is due, however little I think it deserves. Let’s begin.



First up is Taki from Soul Calibur.







Let me first start by saying that this is probably the ONLY redesign out of the entire bunch that I can get behind. Even as a fan of Soul Calibur I always thought Taki’s outfit was ridiculous looking, what with how skin-tight it is in a game set several hundred years ago, and her tits popping out of her armor like fucking snail eyes.



However, in this redesign Taki’s armor appears to have been “clipped” on as opposed to tied on like in a more traditional Ninja outfit. And, for some fucked up reason you changed her mask, which you admit looks cool and fitting, to a bland cloth mask because “It looks too S & M”.









Right.



The Japanese Demon Mask gives off too much of an S & M Vibe.



Let’s move on to Cammy from Street Fighter.







Putting aside the fact that this COULD work as an alternate costume with a few tweaks, you do realise that Cammy is an incredibly acrobatic fighter, right? Picture everything that Cammy does, and try to imagine her doing that in cargo pants. Splits, flips, everything. Granted, physics and realism were never really a thing to begin with in fighting games, but it floors me every time someone complains that someone fighting in tight-fitting revealing clothing isn’t practical or realistic, but then offer an alternative that’s even LESS practical. Trust me, I have PLENTY of time to talk about THAT specific issue throughout this post, but let’s continue with Cammy here. This is nitpicky as fuck, but comparing Cammy to Guile simply because they wear camo is silly. Yes, they are both soldiers, but Cammy was originally from a British military group called Delta Red, pictured here.





Notice something? Spandex is kind of a big deal in Delta Red. Even the men wear it. Cammy, as stated before, is a very acrobatic character, so it would make perfect sense for her to wear a leotard.



Up next is Morrigan from Darkstalkers.





Oh come the fuck on, now.



I’ll give you that this is a very good classy alternative look for Morrigan. But you didn’t make that outfit because you wanted to envision her in a classy style outside of fighting, you made this because you felt the original outfit was too sexy.



Think about what is being implied here.



You put clothing on a succubus because you think she is too sexual



You DO know what a succubus is, right? You know, a succubus! A sex demon! A creature that seduces you, fucks your brains out, then steals all of your life energy and lives off of your man-gravy as you die a withered husk of your former self.



Besides, Morrigan already has a more conservative alternate look.







Let’s continue the Darkstalker trend with everyone’s favorite performing catgirl, Felicia!





Mother of god what the fuck am I looking at.



I must have stumbled upon Fur Affinity because that is some major fursona shit. She looks like Leigh Alexander if she was a rejected 60s Batman villain for Christ’s sake. On top of that, much like we are going to see with several other characters, you completely disregard WHY they are dressed like they are, and only focus on the fact that they are dressed like they are.

Felicia is a nun. And, as a nun, she has taken a vow of poverty, meaning that the only thing she has to her name is her devotion to being a nun. When she fights, the garb comes off so she doesn’t ruin it.



Please, for the love of god let Elena from Street Fighter be halfway decent.

Fuck me.

Right, so not only do you NOT understand that Capoeira requires an INSANE amount of fluidity and flexibility, your idea of “fixing” Elena is to put her in an outfit that isn’t even a part of her culture to begin with.



Elena is Kenyan. The outfit you chose is Arabian. If you are going to put her in something more reminiscent of her culture it would be something like this.





Then again, can’t really picture someone flipping around like a lightning bolt with all of that fabric getting in the way, now can we?







Either that, or you just figured “Fuck it, I’ll just put the African dancer in loose baggy clothing because URBAN” which if that really WAS the case, fuck you, you god damn racist.



Let’s just move on to Poison.





First off let’s begin with calling Poison a Tranny.



Don’t.



Second of all, you could probably copy and paste everything I have said about Cammy and apply it here, seeing as the same problems arise. You put a very acrobatic character in clothing that would hinder her fighting style. I also find it hilarious that you got rid of everything from the shorts, the high-heels, chains, and bra, presumably because it’s just too darn “slutty” but you kept the fucking crop and handcuffs because now it’s more “biker-ish.”



You serious have NO clue what kind of person Poison is, do you.



Next up, let’s check out Mai from Fatal Fury/King of Fighters.

Hooooooo boy where do I even fucking start.

First of all your redesign just looks like a clusterfuck of mishmashed Japanese and Chinese, probably because you figured “fuck it, they all look the same.” Some people would find that VERY offensive.



Second of all, this is yet ANOTHER example of a failure to understand character design in context. Mai is a character that dresses in revealing and sexy clothing for a good reason. To put it blunt, she is well aware that she kind of sucks as a fighter, so to compensate for this, she wears this outfit in order to distract her opponents. I find this hilarious because one huge complaint I often see from critics is that they find it distracting to see women constantly dressed like this in fighting games, and Mai literally does it for that exact reason.



And third, I’m starting to notice a trend here. In every single one of these designs so far, not only have you completely changed their outfits, but you also gave them obvious breast reductions and absolutely no muscle tone as well. Most of these redesigns look like they are 12 year old first time cosplayers. I can’t help but think that you did this as a form of projection as a result of your own insecurity. Dick thing to say, but, you know.



Finally we come to I-No, from Guilty Gear.





I-No? More like GOD No.



First off, look at this shit.

Either you figured that since I-No is a witch you were going to give her the Margaret Hamilton treatment, or you just really REALLY suck at drawing. She also looks like this.





As for you getting pissy about yet another woman showing skin, let me break it down for you. I-No is a sadistic witch working for the main villain that gets enjoyment over causing people torment. So your quote about I-No “giving off an S & M vibe” would actually be accurate. She also wears revealing clothing for the same reason Mai does. Distraction.



Wait….I think I see something….



Hold up….wait a second….do my eyes decieve me? Let’s take a closer look.





OH HO HO HO! WHAT HAVE WE FUCKING HERE?!



And there you have it folks. This one line from her article pretty much sums it up. She flat out admits that she has never played the Guilty Gear series, but has the audacity to make judgements on a character she deems “offensive” anyway.



Let me break it down for you. As a gamer, I have no problem with women joining the ranks. Some of my best friends are woman gamers. Some of them are even more hardcore than I am. But this shit, right here, brings my blood to a boil.



See, like it or not, there’s a reason the “fake gamer girl” stereotype exists, and it’s shit like this. People who co-op our fucking hobby and act like they’ve been here for years, only to complain about everything and demand things to be done their way. They don’t give a fuck about the hobby. They just want to complain. She says it right in her article! "I’ve never played this game but I feel compelled to bitch anyway.“



Look, I’m not saying we need women to take rigorous tests to prove their geek cred. But for God’s Sake the very LEAST you can do is know what the fuck you are talking about.



And you know what? I DO understand that there are some ridiculous character designs out there. In most JRPGS, Male classes get more and more beefed up the more leveled up they get, while the women get less and less armor, even when they are the same exact class. It’s stupid. Even a bit sexist. I get that. It shouldn’t be a thing. But THIS up there is just a result of pure ignorance.



For fucks look at one of the comments here.

Did you get that? This chucklefuck and others like them think that by "covering up” these women, they suddenly gain a personality and character. So you are basing their worth solely on how they are dressed. Funny how this would never be acceptable by you in the real world.



Not everyone who redesigns these characters is a Puritanical moron, though. To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, here’s a website called Repair Her Armor.



http://repair-her-armor.tumblr.com/



The premise is the same, but is handled a LOT better, with FAR BETTER examples of “repairing” than what was shown here.



Do I still find it arrogant that they are “fixing” it to begin with? Absolutely. That being said the examples shown are more or less improvements for the most part.



That is, until you start to see that even the TINIEST bit of skin showing constitutes as “sexualization”.



Like, at this point, what the fuck do you want?



I mean, look at these articles from Huffington Post and Buzzfeed from several years ago, talking about “improved” Super Heroine designs.



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/05/fully-clothed-superheroines-michael-lee-lunsford_n_3022354.html

http://www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/lady-superhero-costumes-redesigned-by-ladies#.cujoD85p

Most of the super heroes shown aren’t even that bad to begin with.

The fuck is wrong with Hawk Girl? Oh WOOOOW her stomach and shoulders are showing. Such oppression.

You literally turned She-Hulk into Shrek. Fucking SHAME on you.

As for the rest of them, the trend seems to be “put pants on them.”

The common complaint seems to be that their outfits are “too impractical and unrealistic” to fight in.



In a world filled with giant robots, mutants with elemental powers, and people who can fly, outfit choice is where they draw the line. Like I mentioned before, they complain about “impracticality” but offer up something far more impractical than what was originally made.











Can’t wait to see Black Canary do flips and shit wearing the baggiest cargo pants and clunkiest boots ever made.

in fairness the rest of his art is actually really good.

See? I TOLD you I would give credit where credit is due.



As for everything else, like, I get that Power Girl’s Boob Window is stupid. But why not just leave it at covering that up? Why go the extra mile in covering her legs as well? What’s wrong with leotards? What’s wrong with skin-tight clothing? How far are you willing to take this? What is the line you are willing to draw?

I understand that I’m asking a lot of questions, but I really want to know! How far is enough?



Wait….I think I know the answer…..





