Stephen Colbert kicked off Wednesday's Late Show with "the latest salacious legal motions" in the case of President Trump v. Stormy Daniels, and the keen observation that Trump has been unusually quiet about the allegations that he cheated on his wife with Daniels then paid to hush it up. "Instead of tweeting about Stormy, yesterday Trump retweeted himself from last weekend," suggesting that America pay for his Mexico border wall with Pentagon funds — or as he put it: "Build WALL though M!" "What does 'M' stand for?" Colbert asked. "Build wall through Mexico? They're not going to like that. Build wall through money? Through Melania's room — because I'm pretty sure she'd pay for that at this point."

Obviously, he meant the military budget. "The Pentagon?" Colbert protested. "Mexico is supposed to pay for this — it should come out of the Cinco-gon." Still, if Congress doesn't approve that expenditure and the military won't pay for the wall, "people close to the president have suggested — and I am not making this up — creating a GoFundMe campaign," he laughed. "Yes, a Kickstarter. Our national sovereignty will be secured with the same urgency that funded the Veronica Mars movie." If you're not familiar with how GoFundMe works, Colbert explained, comparing Trump's speculative wall campaign with the actual new touring van sought by the band Flaw, which is probably wondering why their name is suddenly trending on social media. Watch below. Peter Weber