When it happened with Saga #12 and there was all of this hullabaloo about a bit of cock and the like, I got my knickers in a twist — railing against Apple and then Comixology (like the rest of the internet). This time, as Apple has put Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky’s Sex Criminals #2 in the “under review” shame box, the feeling is more exasperation than anything else. Censorship, what is the point of you?

Let’s first address what Sex Criminals #2 is and isn’t. As was the case with Sex Criminals #1, this issue is another charming, funny, and smart look at sexual discovery and a very unique courtship. Also there is bank robbing and the start of something quite mysterious. This is not a book that is smutty or crude.

There is a fair amount of female nudity in it, and we know that nudity is bad because we, as a society, have bizarrely aligned ourselves with bazookas over bazoombas and declared that sex in all of its depictions = sin, but they say that you know pornography when you see it, and this ain’t it.

This book certainly doesn’t deserve to have a scarlet letter carved into its cover, and the implication that it does leads me to question whether the “review process” that lead to this book being put in “review” actually involved reading past the cover and the subtitle (“Cumworld”). It would also be nice if the reviewers were aware of the other books that exist on IOS and Comixology presently, because there are plenty of books that are far more adult than this one.

I bring that up to point out how arbitrary this whole thing is, not to say that those books are justifiably shunned. I don’t believe that adults should be kept from buying adult things. If you are worried about children reading inappropriate material, then solve that problem, don’t put a pox upon the entire market, dampening sales and discouraging adult storytelling. We need more adult storytelling, not less.

Moving away from that well earned ridicule, let us realize that you can absolutely get your hands on this book digitally on Comixology and on your IOS device. Here is Image Comics, via Bleeding Cool, on your options:

For those seeking SEX CRIMINALS #2 for a digital purchase on iOS devices via the Image Comics app or via Comixology, the issue is still “under review” with Apple, as the review the contents of the issue. Because of this, if you purchase your comics directly from one of those iOS apps, SEX CRIMINALS #2 is not available for sale there. But fear not! You’ve got options! You can purchase SEX CRIMINALS #2 (and every other fine Image Comics release) here on the Image Comics website, in a variety of formats, DRM-Free. Once you’ve downloaded the book, you can read it via iBooks or any PDF, CBR/CBX or ePub Reader of your choice. If you prefer to shop at Comixology, simply head over to their website where you can purchase SEX CRIMINALS #2 there and then sync it to your device. You’ve got options!

And here is Comixology:

While Sex Criminals #2 is still under review at Apple, this fantastic follow up to Fraction and Zdarsky’s hilarious debut will be available for purchase Wednesday(NOW) across the entire comiXology platform with the exception of iOS. So not only can you get it on, and subscribe from, comiXology.com and sync to your iOS device, you can also read via the Kindle and Google Play store! So don’t let this little hiccup stop you from enjoying this great new series!

So, this isn’t even an effective blockade against the scourge of nipple-boobs and glowy-cocks, it’s just a mild inconvenience for consenting adults who have decided that they want to read this book. Again I say, censorship, what is the point of you? What does Apple gain by shunning one of comicdom’s most prolific creators for the second time in the last six months (and really, this shouldn’t happen to the most unknown creator either), whipping the comic book press corps into a frenzy, while portraying itself as positively puritanical?

Is this spectacle really worth the bad press and the sour taste? Is Apple that afraid of the possibility of a small backlash and a few angry tweets and letters? This is a company built half on innovation and half on perception, and right now, the perception of Apple — with regard to their panicky, moralistic bullshit behavior when dealing with adult content — is that they are trying (and, again, failing) to play it safe, whitewashing our reading options to appease a segment of the comic reading public that is likely minuscule. In my view, that is really the only thing that is offensive about this whole damn thing.

#FreeCumworld!

Shameless Plug: For more on Sex Criminals, you can check out mine and fellow Screen Invasion contributor Matthew Jackson’s interview with Chip Zdarsky, Matt Fraction and his Satellite Sam collaborator Howard Chaykin in the latest issue of Starburst Magazine, which is available at select newsstands in the US and where magazines are sold in the UK.