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The Socialists Who Hate the Socialist Caucus

The NDP also has plenty of socialists who are a bit hipper with their Conrad Black references — and who have infinitely better design capabilities than those suggested by the banner the Socialist Caucus keeps carrying around. They’re young, they don’t wear tweed and they don’t know the words to the Red Flag. Thus, these socialists are apt to bristle that Weisleder is the face of NDP socialism, and they even have a Facebook page, “Socialists Against the Socialist Caucus.”

The Beard and Shawl Caucus

This caucus has no unified ideology, other than a shared love of epically large beards and shawls. Tom Mulcair’s reserved lawyer-beard is nothing compared to some of the ZZ Top-style pushbrooms buzzing around the convention floor.

The Suit-Wearers

“Why are you all wearing suits?” one old-timer was heard to say to one of the Suit-Wearers. There was a time when NDP conventions were mostly farmers and tradesmen clad in a sea of denim. But a new generation of NDPers sprang from Parliament Hill internships instead of miner’s strikes, and they’ve got the pinstripes and waistcoats to prove it. Also, if there’s suddenly a big knot of suits on the convention floor, Tom Mulcair’s probably at the centre of it.

The Obnoxious Albertans Ruining Everything

“We need pipelines to tidewater! Pipelines built by Canadians using Canadian steel!” said Alberta premier Rachel Notley as a couple hundred Albertans leapt to their feet and screamed themselves hoarse — while everybody else conspicuously kept their seats. This could have been a full-blown progressive love-in if not for the hordes of plaid-wearing, gun-owning Alberta delegates cycling through the convention hall with obnoxious concepts like “pragmatism” and “your Leap Manifesto sucks.” And if the Manitoba NDP goes down to defeat in two weeks like all the polls say they will, these plucky Albertans will soon be the only New Democrats left at the reins of a government.