Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Presents: News of the Times Computer Loses To Human Candy Land Champion Despite progress made in developing a computer program that can defeat a human CHESS champion, computer scientists confess that they have been able to launch a significant challenge to human supremacy in the game of CANDY LAND. The latest model, CANDYTRON 5000, faced last week against five-year-old Andrew Rifkin, the current Candy Land master. CANDY LAND Challenge Andrew Rifkin vs. CANDYTRON 5000 Candytron 5000 started strong, taking the Rainbow Trail to the Lollipop Woods before Rifkin even got to the Gumdrop Mountains. But as victory for the computer approached, Rifkin toppled the board and ran to his room crying. Andrew: IT'S NOT FAIR! I WANNA WIN! When decorum was restored and a new game started, Candytron 5000 apparently felt sorry for the tyke -- and even ignored its draw of a Snowflake card in order to allow Rifkin to overtake it and win. Andrew: Yay! I WIN! Programmers are trying to close the "spoilsport gap" by installing on Candytron 6000 a lever capable of flipping the board when defeat is imminent. But cognitive scientist Alvin Reeger is skeptical. Alvin: Computers may surpass humans in intelligence and even creativity, but our unique ability to throw a good temper tantrum will forever ensure human Candy Land superiority.