Everything about this gift is top-notch. Fifty thousand points to Gryffindor for the presentation. The package arrived as a Tidy-Cat litter box affixed with an address, with death rays drawn emanating from the cats' eyeballs on the box. I was confident that I had, indeed, inherited a box of cat shit from the internet. Giddy with anticipation, I opened the litter box with a kitchen knife (insert fuck yea meme pic here). Inside was a hand-crafted, true-to-life sketch of me riding a dragon, and also a note reassuring me that the gift therein would not burn the house down.

Let's recap. Cat-litter box for delivery, check. Drawing of me riding a dragon inside, check. Note with assurances of non-flammability, check. Time to crack this bad-boy open.

I wish I could take a thousand photos of this masterpiece. I wish reddit gifts would let me upload a whole photo album of this...this... [i]art[/i]. I wish I had a flickr account or something of the sort to do this justice. I will do my best with prose.

So, peeling back the tape atop our Tidy-Cat gift vessel, I am met by meticulously placed plastic grocery bags serving as packaging for the (surely) perilous journey this package undertook. After a few moments' excavation, the prize therein began to take shape. A brain of christmas light wiring was networked inside, all affixed to a wood-grain surface of some type. Pulling out the wood panel slowly, it struck me that the business-side of this piece was decorated like the Reddit alien. How cool! Then, dangling there invitingly, was the naked, two-pronged live end of the christmas tree wiring system. Unsure whether or not I would be dosed with an inhumane quantity of radiation as I plugged in this mystery device, I closed one eye and covered my nuts as I cautiously plugged it in.

I woke up about half an hour later, my head spinning, and with this unshakable concern that I was now pregnant. The room was filled with brilliant multicolored light. I regained my senses and crawled the charred husk of my body over to the wood-grain reddit alien. There it glowed in a rapturous resplendence. The lights coruscated with an intensity I had never known to be possible. Staring into its LED-enfixed hull was to stare into the fury of a thousand suns. And yet I stared. I couldn't help but stare. The Reddit Alien would not relinquish my attention, it grabbed my mind by its proverbial scrotum, and it squeezed.

Hyperbole aside, this Reddit Alien LED wood grain masterpiece is a fabulous present. Phishin did a wonderful job with it, and I'm very proud to have had him as my secret santa. I wish one picture could do the whole experience justice, but alas it can't. Instead, here is a boring old shot of what it looks like with the lights unplugged. Plugged in, it really is quite bright, I couldn't get my roommates camera to capture it quite right with my limited expertise.

TL;DR: Kickass job, Phishin.