It’s tough for a sexually adventurous woman to get that look that says, “I’ve never had anything inserted into my butt for sexual pleasure.” But don’t worry — we’ve curated the perfect list of braided hairstyles to trick anyone into thinking you’ve never even thought about anal sex!



Traditional French Braid

This hairstyle is simple, uncomplicated, and perfect for an interview at the florist shop. No one would ever dream that a woman with such tightly controlled hair would play fast and loose with her butthole!



Milkmaid Braids

Although this hairstyle looks complicated, it’s deceivingly simple to achieve — just like orgasm from anal play. Yet nothing says, “I’m sexually inexperienced in an endearing way” quite like these sweet “Heidi” braids!



Rope Braid

Worried the flannel-clad barista will be scared off by your aura of sexual prowess? With only five minutes and a hair tie, you can whip your hair into a charmingly demure ’do that says, “people really do that?!” endearingly and innocently.



Waterfall Braid

This delicate plait is a great way to give yourself the air of utter innocence your WASPy fiancé desires. There’s no way anyone will discover your dirty (and mind-blowingly pleasurable!) past with a coiffure this sweet!



Crown Braid

Think your mother-in-law might be catching on to the dirty, sexy secret written all over your face? Deflect her attention by sweeping your hair into this elegantly virginal updo.



Whether you’re trying to disguise the vibe you’re giving off after your first try at anal fingering or you’re concealing years of pegging, these darling ‘dos are sure to give you back that sweet look of modesty and chasteness! Now, get braiding!