The president* sat down for a chat with the failing New York Times on Wednesday and spoke some words.

Mr. Trump criticized media outlets, including The New York Times, for failing to adequately cover the Rice controversy — while singling out Fox News and the host Bill O'Reilly for praise, despite reports this week that the veteran conservative commentator settled five lawsuits filed by women claiming sexual harassment or inappropriate behavior. The president then went on to defend Mr. O'Reilly, who has hosted him frequently over the years. "I think he's a person I know well — he is a good person," said Mr. Trump, who during the interview was surrounded at his desk by a half-dozen of his highest-ranking aides, including the economic adviser Gary Cohn and Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, along with Vice President Mike Pence. "I think he shouldn't have settled; personally I think he shouldn't have settled," said Mr. Trump. "Because you should have taken it all the way. I don't think Bill did anything wrong."

Man, defending Bill O'Reilly is the perfect way to kick off Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

He also spoke words about the latest magical spell cast by the conservative media.

"I think it's going to be the biggest story," Mr. Trump said in an interview in the Oval Office, declining repeated requests for evidence for his allegations or the names of other Obama administration officials. "It's such an important story for our country and the world. It is one of the big stories of our time." He declined to say if he had personally reviewed new intelligence to bolster his claim but pledged to explain himself "at the right time."When asked if Ms. Rice, who has denied leaking the names of Trump associates under surveillance by United States intelligence agencies, had committed a crime, the president said, "Do I think? Yes, I think."

Objection, Your Honor. Assumes facts not in evidence.

Then, later, he appeared in the Rose Garden with King Abdullah of Jordan, where he spoke some words about the dangerous situation in the Middle East, and especially about the ghastly chemical attack in Syria. This was the first time he'd spoken words on foreign policy without the presence of Steve Bannon, the last heir to House Harkonnen, on the National Security Council. These are some of the words he spoke.

"It crossed a lot of lines for me. When you kill innocent children, innocent babies, little babies, with a chemical gas that is so lethal, people were shocked to hear what gas it was, that crosses many, many lines, beyond a red line, many, many lines."

And:

"I think the Obama administration had a responsibility to solve the crisis a long time ago. And when he didn't cross that line in making the threat, I think that set us back a long ways not only in Syria, but in many other parts of the world, because it was a blank threat. I think it was something that was not one of our better days as a country. I now have responsibility and I will have that responsibility and carry it very proudly."

Which means you'll do what, exactly, having established years ago on the electric Twitter machine that we should stay out of Syria at all costs?

I'm flexible.

Don't know about the rest of y'all, but I'm getting pretty comfortable here Beyond Parody. I may buy a house.

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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