Tuesday, July 2, 2013 at 1:21PM

I spoke some free verse to a friend of mine.

She said, "What's that?" I said, "That? That's free verse."

"I bet it is," she said. "I've heard that line

before. You want to get inside my purse."

"No, honestly," I said, "the verse was free.

It didn't rhyme and neither did it scan."

"So what's the catch?" she asked. "And what's the fee?"

"Trust me," I said, "I'm not that sort of man."

"Oh yeah?" she said. I said, "Look let's forget it."

"Listen," she said, "I'm not born yesterday.

You want something. But you're not going to get it.

I see the sneaky game you're trying to play.

I know my rights. Nothing in life's for free."

So I gave in. And charged her 50p.

Matt Harvey, from The Hole in The Sum Of My Parts