*A Note for Fellow Faith Transitioners*

This is the letter I sent to my extended family (and some friends) when we left the church. It was my way of trying to tell my own story, even though I knew the recipients would probably create their own for me.

Going through a faith transition is an incredibly personal experience and yet it can be an amazingly similar experience. If this letter resonates with you, feel free to share it or use it as inspiration for your own letter: keeping in mind that plagiarism isn’t kind or honest and surely we could all use a little more kindness and honesty.

Dear Family,

We love and appreciate all of you so much. Because of this love, and respect for the relationships that we have–we want to be open and honest with all of our family members, and would rather you heard this directly from us.

We have experienced and still are experiencing the most painful and difficult situation of our lives. We no longer have the cherished and loved view that we once held of the church, and we can no longer continue in the church. This has been the result of stumbling upon disturbing and upsetting information about the church. We thought there was no way such information could be true, so we diligently set to work reading church history and resources to prove it wrong. When church history confirmed it, and brought up even more unknown and upsetting information–we felt utterly betrayed by our own religion, our belief in the truthfulness of the church was shattered, and our hearts were broken.

We know we have many knowledgeable family members that know church history who may feel they know what this is about and may want to reach out to us to help us reconcile such information. Know that we feel that what we have learned about the church cannot be reconciled with our consciences and that ignoring or attempting to warp such knowledge into something correct and acceptable–would be a violation of our personal integrity.

We were purposefully vague about the information that started this because we don’t want to cause wedges to be driven between us, or cause damage to people’s faith–we refuse any responsibility for causing anyone the pain we have experienced. We will always respect your faith and support you. We especially love and support all of the missionaries, and soon-to-be missionaries in our family.

Once again, know that this has not been the result of sin, laziness, lack of testimony, or offense taken. Also, we have moral compasses and have not suddenly become murderers, anti-Mormons, druggies, alcoholics, tobacco-users, swingers, religion-haters, child-haters, kitten-stompers, etc.

We cannot tell you how painful this has been for us, and how sorry we are that this will cause so much deep pain and shock for you. We do not want this pain for you. We still desperately want to be part of your lives, and we want you to be part of ours.

We would deeply appreciate any love you could send our way, and especially your love and support to our families–because we know this has been completely terrible for them and they are hurting.

Even though this has genuinely been the hardest decision of our lives, and there has been so much pain involved–we feel incredible peace in making this decision and could stand before the judgment bar of God with clear consciences about it.

Please believe our sincerity. We value our relationships with our family more than anything on this earth. We want you all to be happy and we LOVE you.

Love,

Hanna & Husband