In my last article I wrote about the romance of socialism, and in it spoke about the evolutionary advantage of believing adults. As I was researching for a link, with the only literature on this principle I learned about in a master’s program being behind a pay wall, I looked elsewhere and found this random article: “44 Reasons Why Evolution is Just a Fairy Tale For Adults.” So, basically, evolution debunked.

Blumpf is finished!

F*ck you, Orange Man.

Anyway, I used to make YouTube videos debunking this sort of horseshit, but YouTube deleted them all for racism. (Halsey, ask your (((people))) WTF is up with that!) So, okay, I’m going to write about it.

Trigger warning: This is going to be long and of no interest to you unless you like evolution and want to hear an actual evolutionary biologist put these morons in their place. I’m debunking the evolution debunked shit, all 44 f*cking examples. So enough preamble.

#1: No, idiots. The first thing you should have done here is learn about fossilization, before you even bungle mightily what a “transitional fossil” even is. Fossilization is an exceedingly rare event. All the original materials are organic, and food for something in the food chain, or just fragile and subject to erosion and wear. Fossilization is the process by which the organic is replaced via a natural casting by minerals, the inorganic. The only reason we see as many fossils as we do is that for every fossil found, there were orders of magnitude more organisms around, and obviously that weren’t fossilized. Or in rare events where organisms were quickly encased (tar pits, sandstone, etc).

#2: Forgive me for not getting to the transitions yet, but it’s like ten of their f*cking points in a row, so no rush. Charles Darwin has nothing to do with evolution. Darwin wrote and theorized on the origin of species. We’ve compiled much more evidence, to the point Darwin isn’t even needed for evolution to be true. Anything Darwin said or did not say or think or believe matters not because we have DNA now, geniuses.

#3: Okay, look, the problem is that you don’t understand what a “transitional fossil” even is. So you can’t scream evolution debunked when you don’t even know WTF you’re babbling about. There is no Kirk Cameron Crocoduck transition from a damn wolf into a sea turtle. Evolution is gradation; gradual change over time. One thing does not change into another thing. That’s your first mistake, not understanding what any of these terms mean.

(Note: I’m obviously keeping this in the context of the crux of his grasp of evolution, which goes: Microbe to men, which isn’t the theory. Of course, over eons, eras, geologic time, we see enough speciation occur to where, say, entirely new branches are formed, but this isn’t what he’s speaking about, so I’m attempting to keep things contextual with his arguments. He expects, like most creationists, the hybrid, odd mutants, transitions, etc.)

#4: OMG, they’re still f*cking on transitional fossils! You know, there’s a place you can go to view a lot of these transitional fossils. What we mean by this is, say, a form between then and now, whereas you creationists view this as A-B, expecting two entirely different branches. Species is only one variant on the taxonomic ranks. You have kingdom, phylum, class, order, suborder, infraorder, family, subfamily, tribe, genus, and a few more before you even get to species (speciation). So, e.g. these geniuses want to know the “missing link,” the transitional form between ape and human. But what these assholes don’t understand, because they refuse to study science yet claim expertise in it, is that we still are apes!Only our species has changed, not our family or order or class or kingdom, etc.

Damn you, idiots.

Here!

Here!

Here!

Here!

Can you STFU about the transitional fossils now? Evolution debunked! LOL

#5: Oh, for f*ck’s sake, they’re literally still on it. I guess the list of 44 could have been just 1: “Where da white wymyn at?” Oh, sorry, “Where’re muh transitional fossils?!” Have you even ever tried to f*cking look for them?

#6: No. JFC. How? Do you think organisms evolved with half a heart and 4% of an eye? No, you morons. You had rudimentary, prototype-like organs that formed via mutation, passed down through natural selection, and something that was advantageous proliferated the gene pool, whereby it would be refined through further selective pressures and mutations. These morons think that it’s game over, evolution debunked, because if evolution were true, we’d be finding those transitional fossils where a dude with half a body evolved into a dude with a full body. You cannot be this stupid and still be considered sane.

#7: Except we don’t. Strata and eras which coincide show gradation. Dinosaurs weren’t before stromatolites. I know what’s happening here: They heard a filtered, dumb version of the “Cambrian explosion,” so they believe everything happened quickly, while also hearing that evolution is a slow process, so they say, “Aha! Evolution debunked! It happened fast!” Well, geniuses, this “explosion” of the Cambrian period lasted for 25-million f*cking years. Do you have any sense of depth of scale to how large that window is? Human history–as in what we can historically study about societies–only traces back about 10,000, and you cannot even fathom how long ago that was. Before then, we shrug our shoulders in terms of tracing back the history. But in 25-f*cking-millions years, you argue this is “sudden”?

#8: Oh, a guy made a comment one time, which you objectively quote-mined? That’s it. Evolution debunked! See #7. FFS.

#9: No! Stop this! Richard Dawkins has written entire books calling you people stupid lunatics, and you think a quote-mine wins the point? Again, see #7. Stop.

#10: Oh, my favorite. They’ll contend microevolution is true, but not macro, because you can’t witness it. Well, brainiacs, macroevolution is nothing but every organism that evolves going through microevolution continuing over time, piling up the small changes, so this is literally self-pwnage.

#11: And your point is? If you need to observe it firsthand before believing in it, 1) This means all of natural science is wrong about everything ever, even medicine, because inference and deduction are the greatest tools of science; 2) You cannot be religious either. You’ve never observed any of it. Another self-pwn.

#12: This is horribly ill conceived. Are you trying to argue that unless every organism changes, evolution isn’t true? More proof that they don’t even understand evolution on a public-school level. Natural selection is about adaptation to the environment. If an animal is well suited to its environment, like some sharks or crocodiles, there’s no reason for mutative changes in offspring to proliferate the species as advantageous, because they wouldn’t be advantageous at all but rather deleterious compared to the existing organisms. You used this point without understanding this point.

#13: “Bobby Boucher, ebbolution is the debbil!” LOL As Stefan Molyneux would say: Not an argument.

#14: 1) Then it’s not the fossil. Fossils don’t have f*cking carbon in them. 2) Then it’s from the surrounding areas, or y’all being dishonest, because fossils don’t have f*cking carbon in them.

#15: And the odds of winning Powerball are billions to one, but somebody wins them. The odds of you being here are trillions to the 10th power, with everything having to happen to get you here, yet you’re here. You also cannot even spell a biological term that most 2nd-graders learn. It’s “cell.” Learn the science maybe?

#16: 1) We can’t answer why gravity works or why it’s a universal law either. What’s your point? 2) It’s self-replication, not reproduction (in the “SELL” context he’s still using). The 85 IQ meme is real and I regret writing this about now. Bottom line: We don’t have to do know why it does, only that it does.

#17: So, because we couldn’t find something, we assumed it went extinct. But it didn’t. Oops. Evolution debunked! Though I assume this is more a metaphor they’re stuffing in here for their god.

#18: Because it didn’t need to. Refer back to #12.

#19: “Darwinists.” So a brain coming together by natural means is so silly no one should even believe it. But a god in the sky, omnipotent, immortal, and just always there, speaking one into existence, is the way to go. Sorry, just firing back there. In all seriousness, we track the clear evolution of brain matter/size, and even still can today by juxtaposing white matter in brains between races. If you have the equivalent of an 8th-grade education, it’s not difficult stuff.

#20: So this guy says that since we cannot get the Flux Capacitor to work in our DeLorean, we must infer through our abundance of evidence how it happened, and y’all quote-mine this to shout evolution debunked? You’re not even trying.

#21: And how did we find out it was a hoax? I’ll give you a hint: It wasn’t religious creationists pointing and saying it was a hoax. It was people who knew evolution and recognized it was a hoax, and it fooled no one except people who don’t know about evolution. Big enough hint?

#22: I don’t know. Quantum physics has f*ck-all to do with evolution. Like a classic retarded creationist, you’re melding all of “science” in together as one huge anti-religious monolith.

#23: Same thing as above. WTF does it have to do with evolution? You’re arguing for religion in this piece; not against evolution.

#24: Wow. You have to go all the way back up to #1 here and actually learn about fossilization! Imagine that. You might have to learn something rather than believe something.

#25: Holy shit. I thought even preschoolers knew that we’re extremely genetically similar with other great apes. We’re not “very genetically different” at all. In humans, the X and Y chromosomes (allosomes) have a difference of 23,000,000 base pairs. Are you arguing that men and women are different “types” or species or creatures or kinds, or whatever the f*ck you’ve taken to calling them now?

#26: Again, this isn’t describing evolution; it’s the Crocoduck straw-man. And microbes didn’t become men, though this is what y’all believe we believe, while y’all literally believe this, not us, by believing clay became men.

#27: Yes, it is. Unless the ground has been disturbed, geologic strata remain entirely consistent around the entire globe.

#28: You’re right. Makes absolutely no sense. I’ve never heard this before in my life. They’re just making this one up. They couldn’t even find a link to a religious site or a quote-mine for this one. I think he’s thinking buoyancy.

#29: They haven’t. If it was soft tissue, it wasn’t from the dinosaur. You know, there are other animals on this planet, some of which are small enough to nest and live in a fossil. Sometimes you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes; you just have to be less retarded.

#30: Different circulatory systems and vascular systems can still be found today in life, especially sea life. What likely evolved first were ways by which to oxygenate organisms, as simpler organisms evolved specifically adapted to the environment and thus relied on our atmosphere; so by the time land-life had evolved, we already had vascular systems.

#31: I’m not sure why this guy here wants all of this information, when he’s already made it clear that 1) He doesn’t even understand evolution, and 2) Refuses to believe it at all. Seems a wasted effort, but so is this, to be honest, so… checkmate, atheists? (Insert Shrek fedora meme)

#32: Yeah, now you see why I didn’t bother answering 31. He just keeps on and on with this shit when he thinks he’s found a winner. This one is equally stupid, so I’ll wait ’til the next one.

#33: Again, life started off in the water, so bones. Though when little nubs evolved via mutations through genetic mixing, some of those organisms would get a new mutation, a ligament or tendon and end up with a nub that could move. This feature would make this organism more fit to breed, as it was advantageous and helped it feed and survive (and be a James Dean to all the bitches). So what was a mutation, and his phenotype, is in his DNA as part of the genotype, and gets passed down to his offspring as a phenotype, in their DNA as an expressed phenotype, and so on and so forth. Remember, we’re not talking about damn single-cell to big-ass Shaq human leg, which is the straw-man y’all create because you’re too f*cking retarded not to. We’re talking little stubby legs on proto-lizards and shit. Work backwards from this to answer 31 and 32.

#34: Umm.. going out on a limb here: Maybe because bleeding to death means you die from bleeding to death, so an organism with a mutation in its DNA which created clotting wouldn’t bleed to death with the rest of those bleeding to death, and would get more sexy time to make more babies who would carry this and pass it down. (Again, he’s thinking about this in the context of people; not in the context of more simplistic animals millions of years ago – because he’s too retarded not to.)

#35: Well, it might be too complex for you to understand it. There are people out there, however, who can sequence it, change it, rearrange it, and even make it do cool things, and use it to paint an entire tree of life. You, on the other hand, probably had to double-check to make sure you spelled it right.

#36: Yep. Got it! Pretty quick too! It’s because it’s only a “code” insofar as that’s our frame of reference to recognize what it does. It’s a blueprint, a set of instructions. “But someone has to write the instructions!” you’re shouting. Says who? You? Why? Because your faith, or your ignorance? That’s not a rule. Just because the only codes of which you’re aware were created by a conscious mind in no way means that all codes must be.

#37: That’s because “evolutionists” aren’t climatologists or cosmologists or astrophysicists. “Science” isn’t some monolithic Satanic conspiracy, you f*cking idiot.

#38: Then the carbon dating was wrong. It happens.

#39: If only you had educated yourself even slightly from #1, this list could have been a top-ten and saved us both some time (and you some embarrassment).

#40: No. It’s not like saying that at all. We can witness those things being designed. How we witness human design is through the fossil record and DNA, etc. This is you bastardizing the Watchmaker argument.

#41: Well, that’s probably because if you say that the most complete natural scientific theory in history is all wrong because you believe your particular god did it, people will question your commitment to objectivity and the scientific method overall. Now, if you wanted to be a clergyman, you’d likely not run into issue. But if you want to be a scientist, it might help if you understood science.

#42: Isn’t Time Magazine the one that had to frantically pull their Wednesday-morning edition because they printed a shit-ton of Hillary-as-President magazines? Enough said.

#43: A philosopher offers up purple prose to give us an opinion. Man, when has that ever happened before? Someone who isn’t a scientist saying it’s preposterous; evolution debunked officially now!

#44: Well, at least he doesn’t disappoint with the last, perfectly encapsulating in his last big “reason” just how little he knows about what evolution even is. Life popping into existence out of nowhere is objectively not evolution’s stance; it’s religion’s stance, with man spoken into existence. In fact, evolution makes no claim at all on how life came to exist. That’s abiogenesis, not evolution, and they’re not the same thing. But this guy is too retarded to know that. To him, all of science is exactly the same. He claims to be looking for someone to explain it to him, which betrays his intelligence and/or his willingness to learn, as all he has to do is open a f*cking book on evolutionary biology or a subject in that wheelhouse.

But you cannot “prove” to someone what they refuse to believe. It’s the false appearance of reason where none exists.

If you read this far, thanks. I had fun writing it, though I expected the poor bastard to maybe understand a little bit about anything before speaking on it like an expert. The only things he did well were straw-man, quote-mine, and argue from ignorance.

Evolution debunked? Lol

Until next time!