Seriously, what is wrong with these social justice warriors! It’s as though they can’t resist the impulse to stick their noses where they don’t belong.

First we had to pretend that it’s OK for girls to play sports, even though deep down we all know that ladies ain’t meant to sweat.

And what about all these black fellas running around our game these days, carrying on as though they’re the same as the rest of us. It’s disgusting.

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And now, as if these injustices weren’t bad enough, we’ve got to pretend it’s acceptable for homosexuals to play footy. Enough is enough!

Starting today I’m enlisting anyone who’s thinking clearly to join my ‘Keep The Gay Away’ campaign. Together we can put a stop to the mess people like David Pocock are making of our culture. My granddaddy would spin in his grave if he knew I played with pooftahs, and I’ll be dammed if I’ll let some do-gooders tear our society apart with their ‘inclusion policy’.

Gay people can’t get married, so why on Earth should we let them play sport? Riddle me that Pocock! If you want a civil union go bat for the other side, this is rugby union mate, and there ain’t never been nothing civil about it.

Rugby is a man’s game, and real men recognise that gayness is wrong. If we want our sportsmen to be role models we need more people like Waratah Jacques Potgieter, who bravely called out gay when he saw it, or thought it, or felt it… Or whatever, the point is he said the word “faggot”, and if there is one word the world needs more of it’s definitely faggot.

If we don’t stamp homo stuff out of our sport now, where will it lead? The last thing any of us want is a strapping lad like Jacques Potgieter running out to represent his state while being distracted by gay thoughts. We need real men like Potgieter focused on smashing people, not diverted by hot and sweaty masculine fantasies about hairy legs in short shorts.

Call me old school, but I don’t care if there are more cameras and microphones at a rugby game than at a Justin Bieber concert, what is said on the field, stays on the field. We all know that rugby pitches are magical places where the normal rules of decency and fairness don’t apply.



Jacques Potgieter may be an idiot, but being an idiot isn’t a choice, like being gay is. People are just born idiots, and it’s our job to love them anyway.

Can I get an Amen?