As a dedicated lady and/or gentleman of leisure, you are no doubt well acquainted with the court of King Alcohol, and perhaps have even experienced the many good and ill fortunes his company tends to bring.

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What I'm saying is, boozin' be crazy, y'all.

Alcohol can be pure happiness in potable form or its very own circle of hell, depending on your relationship with it. However, human issues notwithstanding, the actual substance is generally pretty straightforward and honest stuff: you take simple ingredients and let chemistry run its horrible course until said ingredients get you shitfaced. It depends on your expertise and available equipment whether this process results in fine wine or prison pruno. My point being, you can't really cheat at alcohol.

Ha, got you for a minute there! You totally can. Here's how: