Today in stupid crimes, a Massachusetts woman was arrested after a routine traffic stop went awry, and cops found narcotics in a butt-enhancing prosthesis attached to the woman's rear. Here we go.


32-year-old Jill Roy was pulled over after an officer noticed her windows were tinted a little too dark. And also after noticing Roy swerve over the double yellow line. Officers suspected something was up from the behavior of Roy and her passenger, and while Roy was speaking to an officer near the police cruiser, a bag containing straws and pills fell from her pant leg. Oops.

Roy was subsequently cuffed and taken to the Bourne Police Department for booking, where it was discovered she's currently on probation for drug possession. Double oops. During a search, an officer noticed that Roy's butt was a little harder than normal, but when she asked about Roy's underwear, Roy told her, as Smoking Gun reports, "I don't have a butt so I wear these and another pair of underwear under it."

After Bevilacqua directed her to "take off the hard exterior underwear," Roy "became visibly upset," the report states. After asking several times why she had to remove the buttocks prosthesis, Roy relented and removed the item. Bevilacqua then spotted a "large bulge" in her other pair of underwear. Bevilacqua "advised Roy to pull her underwear away from her body so the items could be removed," police reported. Investigators then removed two plastic baggies containing a total of 13 Oxycodone pills and a bag containing $350 of heroin.


They also found an ounce of marijuana in her car, and Roy's passenger Jennifer Johnson (who told cops her name was Katy at first) was arrested on several outstanding warrants. Just a lot of oops going on here. Listen kids, crime doesn't pay, especially when you can't even stash your stash in your fake butt properly. Yes, that is the lesson here.