We're all sick of looking at Mitt Romney,

so here's a giant fuzzy Jesus-eagle

Liberty University students and alumni are accusing the Christian school of violating its own teachings by asking Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints whose adherents are called Mormons, to deliver its 2012 commencement address. By Friday morning, more than 700 comments had been posted on the school's Facebook page about the Thursday announcement - a majority of them decidedly against the Chancellor Jerry Falwell Jr.’s invitation, citing that the school had taught them Mormonism isn’t part of the Christian faith.

Mitt Romney may indeed have a "Mormon problem" after all. At least, he will if the Republican base has anything to say about it I can think of a lot of reasons why I wouldn't want Mitt Romney to speak at my graduation, but this is a new one to me. The problem is that Falwell's own school doesn't actually recognize Mormons as Christians, so the godfearing student body is put out that Falwell th' Younger invited this non-Christian to speak at such an important event (and yes, there's a quote in the article where a student calls Mitt's religion a "cult"). After a few years of indoctrinating these fine students as to the finer points of which religions wrong and by how much, the university is, apparently, surprised that the student body doesn't recognize that you're supposed to just flush all of that down the toilet when it comes to political pandering.

I blame the university for this. Clearly, the school has failed to properly educate their students as to the finer points of religious conservatism, which boil down to "if it's advantageous for rich people, we'll temporarily support whatever goddamn religion you want us to." You're not actually supposed to believe all that nonsense being taught, students; you're just being taught it so that you can go out and spout it to people who know even less than you do. It's a religiously-premised pyramid scheme. When election time rolls around, however, you're supposed to shut up and let your betters work out the details of these things.

Liberty University counters with the argument that it has, for past commencements, even invited Jews and Catholics to speak, so it's not like this is the first time they've invited a member of the hellbound to come say some nice platitudes to their students. So there ya go. I think that passes for tolerance, in the Liberty U. sense of the word.

I swear, I'm not sure why Mitt Romney or anyone else would want to be these people's candidate. They're all loopy. Mitt must really, really want those tax cuts.