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Confession time: I've been in talk therapy for more than 20 years (I started when I was 15—today I'm 37). Nope, I'm not proud of that—it's vaguely embarrassing, this commitment I've made to worship at the altar of my most deep-seated issues.

I go to therapy because I have to, because I've been doing it for so long that I can hardly remember what it was like not to have that cozy, womb-like little room to heave myself into on a weekly basis. Therapy has become a customary part of my self-care song-and-dance, despite the sad truth that I haven't seen tons of progress when it comes to my struggles with depression, relationships, et al. Frankly, all those aforementioned deep-seated issues are still very much alive and kicking, therapy be damned.

Related: Shopping For the Perfect Therapist

So when I heard about free "Internet therapy" websites, I was curious. Could spilling my guts to faceless strangers on an online message board or chat room possibly compare to "real" therapy? Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, a NYC-based addictions and family therapist, is dubious. "Therapy that changes people's lives is a nuanced process," he says. "The dialogue that occurs online is much more shallow and transient. It's like comparing an artificial sweetener to honey, or instant coffee to slow-brewed."

I suspected as much, but I wanted to see for myself.

1. THE THERAPY SITE: Talktala.com

Talktala.com is the slickest of the three sites I tried. It has the most appealing design, and it helpfully provides sympathetic-looking photos of its roster of online therapists waiting, with bated breath, to help me. The site's mission? For "everyone [to] have real-time, simple, and affordable access to professional advice whenever and wherever we need it."

Talktala offers paid online support from legit online therapists—it costs $9 for an "initial help" session; $29 for a one-on-one "chat for a week" service in which you get to, yes, e-chat with a therapist one-on-one for a week; and $29 for a 30-minute one-on-one video session with a therapist of your choosing. The site also includes free therapist-run forums where users can air their mental-health challenges; a therapist will respond to up to 5 posts per user before charging a fee.

MY ISSUE: FOMO & Social Comparison

I decide to hit up Talktala's free forums. In the "How to Manage Stress and Depression" forum, I spill out a paragraph about how Fear of Missing Out and social comparison are making me miserable (hey, it's true). I write, "I constantly compare myself to other women—not just women I know, but friends of friends, famous people, etc." before acknowledging that my life is fine overall, save for my obsessive quest to "constantly think about how little I have in comparison to some friends and acquaintances (especially when it comes to my love life)."

A therapist named Regina M. replies to my post within hours. "It is so difficult to be a woman in our culture these days," she writes. "It is perfectly normal to compare ... that is what we do best as humans. It does sound like you are struggling with your own self-value. Are there reasons why you would doubt yourself?"

I write back that I have no "reasons" to doubt myself—instead I've got an exciting smorgasbord of your average everyday depressive tendencies and low self-esteem, yippee! I explain that I've been in therapy for years and have tried a zillion types of treatment.

THE RESOLUTION (OR LACK THEREOF)

OK, so the therapist's response seems a bit... basic. I wasn't expecting much more, honestly, so I continue my exchange, explaining more details about my mental-health history. It's weirdly gratifying each time I get an email notification alerting me to Regina's replies, and there is something freeing about anonymously spilling my guts with no sense of concern about how I "look" to the other person.

Still, as our back-and-forth winds down, I feel totally underwhelmed. Just as Dr. Hokemeyer suggested, my Talktala experience feels like Self-Reflection Lite—it's not in-depth enough to provide any real insight. Not for me, anyway—a therapy newbie might find Regina's advice illuminating.

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2. THE THERAPY SITE: MyTherapyCouch.com

MyTherapyCouch rather charmingly calls itself a " social counseling site." So ... it's like Facebook had a baby with a virtual shrink's office! Or something!

Like Talktala, MTC features free forums where users can vent about their issues, but if you want real therapeutic guidance (aka "Direct Counseling") from a professional, you'll need to cough up some cash. There are various fees associated with the site's many types of e-therapy—"Email Consultation," "Email Therapy," "Private Therapy," and "One-on-one Counseling," to name a few.

THE ISSUE I'M ADDRESSING: Loneliness

Again I opt for the free forums. The "Depression" section of MyTherapyCouch is the second most popular, with 481 threads. Trying to jump in and get going with some feedback, I post about being new to the boards. I also write, "I just moved 3,000 miles across the country, back to my hometown, in the dead of winter on the East Coast. ... I've had depression since I was 16 (I'm in my late 30s now) and seem to forget that it doesn't just magically go away [following a relocation]."

THE RESOLUTION (OR LACK THEREOF)

An hour goes by. A few hours. A day. I check on the post again after 24 more hours, but still no one's replied. So I jump onto another board (one that an actual therapist is supposed to frequent!) and try posting in the "Relationships & Family" section instead.

This time, I bemoan how frustrating it can feel being 37 and single. "I can't seem to catch a break when it comes to dating and love," I write. "I Internet-date like crazy ... but it doesn't pan out—[the guys I like either] aren't into me or they are ambivalent ... I keep getting sucked into sketchy, go-nowhere maybe-relationships. Help?"

Again, I wait for the helpful and compassionate responses to roll in. Again I start realizing I might wait forever. (Is there anybody out there?!)

Finally, nine days (!) later, a fellow MTC newbie takes pity and responds to my plea, but her reply is—well, let's just say it's less than satisfying: "If time will come that u feel u've been left behind just think that somebody will be around to be by your side if not a lover maybe a friend that truly lives you" [sic].

Alrighty then! Moving on.

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3. THE THERAPY SITE: Blahtherapy.com

Blahtherapy was the site that first sparked my interest in the weird world of e-therapy. It's pretty unique in its approach—in addition to offering the "completely anonymous" services of a real therapist for $25 ("No therapist will know who you are—no one close to you will know you're getting therapy"), the site has a "venting/listening" private chat function that pairs up anonymous strangers who want to vent with strangers who want to listen. Why? Because, as the site explains, "sharing and connecting with other strangers who are going through a struggles just like you [sic] provides great consolation to anyone in need of healing or a friend."

ISSUE I'M ADDRESSING: More post-move loneliness

I'm eager to try the anonymous venting thing, because spilling my secrets to some rando who gets off on "listening" sounds, admittedly, awesome.

Before jumping in, I must confront a slightly scary disclaimer: "Venting to a stranger can be incredibly dangerous if you are at a very mentally sensitive state. By entering the chat, you understand that BlahTherapy is not liable for any advice given."

The first time I try to vent, to a "listener" called "Large-Capacity Mountain," I find it awkward—I can't tell if he/she/it is waiting for me to start, or if I should wait for an introduction, or what. After I post a brief monologue about feeling isolated, I can see that my new buddy is typing a response, but then my Internet connection drops off before I can catch a reply.

I return a few days later, and finally I have a successful chat session with a member named "Special-Reward." I discover, after blabbing—again—about feeling isolated post-move, that my new friend is female, and all of 19. She says she's been frequenting the site for about a week because participating in the chats, as both a listener and a venter, helps her. Why? Because it helps other people (aww).

When I express frustration about not having tons of friends in my hometown, she commiserates, "I'm really shy too. But I think if you just push yourself a little bit to find people with similar interests, it will be beneficial." She also suggests a couple sites where I might find likeminded people (meetup.com and not4dating).

THE RESOLUTION (OR LACK THEREOF)

I end up chatting with "Special-Reward" about Life Stuff—our jobs, the site, the few "creeps" she's encountered there—for about 45 minutes. While my new, Colorado-based buddy is certainly no therapist, it feels sweet and genuine, making a connection with a stranger like this. When she asks my age, however, I balk—it seems like BlahTherapy might be aimed at far younger folks than me.

Overall, my experiences on the sites were intriguing but not mind-blowing—none of the free forums felt equipped to help me dive into real issues. They felt more like social outlets than mental health resources. And Dr. Hokemeyer expresses major concern about sites like BlahTherapy, where "non-trained professionals [are] giving advice to other individuals."

"There is just too much room for harm," he notes. And I can't help but agree with his assessment that "deeply entrenched and persistent emotional and relationship issues cannot be adequately addressed through an online therapeutic relationship. Lasting change requires a human connection that cannot be replaced by a keypad and a computer screen."

I guess it's back to the couch for me. (The in-office, in-person couch, that is.)

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