‘Twas a night in the Capitol, and down in the House

Loads of creatures were stirring, like Pelosi, that louse.

In the Senate, Democrats stood shoulder-to-shoulder,

With Kamala Harris, who’s dumb as a boulder.

“Tax reform passed!” they whined, and they moaned.

“Without other folks’ money, we’re totally boned!”

“Indian” Warren let out a war cry,

While Adam Schiff hoped his leaks would go bye-bye.

Menendez was scoping the young Senate interns,

Asking the cute ones to help with his “sunburn.”

The Democrats sobbed, some openly wept.

“We count on the good people’s money we’ve kept!”

“Where will we get the entitlement dough?”

“The overstuffed pork? The welfare we blow?”

But they weren’t done, our liberal friends.

They still had to serve Owner Soros’s ends.

So they lied to the people with absolute ease.

With the media helping, the lying’s a breeze.

“The rich get it all!” cried the Congressional left.

It’s leaving the poor folks to carry the heft!”

They swore tax reform would cost literal billions.

They left out the savings to actual millions.

They shrieked lower taxes mean literal death,

Like climate change, blamed with the previous breath.

Also the end of their love, net neutrality,

They said would literally cause mass fatality.

That everyone who pays gets to save just a bit,

Was more than the Dems considered legit.

“Bad news,” cried the Dems, in one of their rages.

“The bill has big companies raising their wages!”

“We claimed corporations would pocket the cash;

Now that talking point just burned up in a flash.”

“I can’t believe it,” moped old Chuckie Schumer.

This whole class warfare thing, I helped start the rumor.”

Without much to fall back on, the Democrats knew,

Giveways would suffer, Obamacare too.

“The individual mandate, we worked hard to make it.

Now Trump and the GOP just wanna take it.”

“What about sex?” the Democrats wondered.

“It’s not like a guy like Trump hasn’t blundered.”

But that line, it wouldn’t work either, alas.

Nearly every Dem male has a super-creep past.

Not like foreign policy is a good place to go,

Since Obama helped Hezbollah move loads of blow.

That Iran deal was worse than mirrors and smoke,

That Obama is proud of it is a bad joke.

And the “But Russia” narrative’s no longer fun,

Unless you like talking Uranium One.

The stock market’s up and jobless claims down.

Trump has turned Washington straight upside-down.

“Once people figure Dems make life much worse;

2018 could continue our curse.

Just like last year, when we thought we were shoo-ins,

But it turned out we had no idea what we’re doing.

We gotta stand up, and never get pilloried;

But we don’t have a better plan than more Hillary.”

Up go the savings as down go the rates,

The people got back more control of their fates.

The Democrats are left without more than their hate,

It looks like Trump’s helping make America great.