Focus put on men's mental health

Bars. Fantasy football leagues. Gun clubs. Neighborhood watch groups.

All are locations where you're likely to find middle-aged men. They're also venues suicide-prevention experts are targeting because of the high rates of suicide in that sometimes inaccessible age group.

In a culture of taught masculinity, men expressing emotions are often met with chiding: "Man up." "Don't be a sissy."

That persuades men to keep their emotions to themselves, including and especially if they are struggling with a mental illness and contemplating suicide. It's one big reason experts suggest for the staggeringly high suicide rates in the middle-aged men age group.

Of the 27 suicides in Outagamie County last year, 23 of the victims were men, and 19 were between the ages of 25 and 64, according to the coroner's office. In Calumet County, all nine people who died by suicide were men. In Winnebago County, all but one of the 15 were men.

"It's leading to these problems that are 50 years down the road, and you got a 50-year-old male who doesn't seek help and he ends up taking his life," said Shannon Kenevan, community engagement leader with Fox Valley Voices of Men. He says gender roles, starting all the way back with boys' toys and girls' toys, enforce the idea of needing a tough guy image.

Voices of Men's primary focus is prevention of domestic violence and sexual assault. But looking upstream to the root cases of the violence against women, the group finds the same issues of taught masculinity and the "act like a man" culture also cause men to neglect their mental healthcare, opting to deal with their illness silently versus breaking their tough exterior. But while men are pressured more to act a certain way, they face no fewer struggles in a lifetime than women.

"Here you got men who are just bottling up all kinds of stuff, all kinds of emotions, with no way to process, no way to release," Kenevan said.

The stigma that clouds all mental illness churns a particularly harsh storm over men, who may worry about being perceived as weak, or as a burden, if they reach out for help.

Women, for whom it's more acceptable to be emotional and cry, are more likely to seek help for mental illness.

Stereotypical male roles — of breadwinner, protector, leader — only intensify the stress on men who are struggling mentally, and give them more ideals to live up to, none of which allow for them to cry, or seek therapy.

Men may be expected to "solve everybody else's problems while neglecting your own," said Julie Haurykiewicz, a master trainer in QPR suicide prevention training.

And why are middle-aged men at risk specifically?

It's the age where retirement is looming, meaning possibly the end of a vocation that has defined a man for decades. That's accompanied with the financial stress of retirement, and serious health problems that can first pop up at that age with their own physical and financial stress, Haurykiewicz said.

Or, in the case of recession, jobs that provided meaning and a sense of providing for one's family are suddenly gone, said Doug Bisbee, a therapist with The Samaritan Counseling Center of the Fox Valley Inc.

Without feeling comfortable asking for help, men often turn to alcohol, leading to irritability or fighting with a significant other, the "perfect storm" for suicidal thoughts, Bisbee said.

The perception that women have more lethal mental illness comes from how women more often attempt suicide, Haurykiewicz said. But in reality, men more likely die by suicide because more lethal means, namely firearms, are used. Women survive far more attempts than men.

Wisconsin's drinking culture also contributes to suicide rates, Haurykiewicz said. In QPR ("Question, Persuade, Refer") training, the "lethal triad" is considered access to means — also easier with Wisconsin being a hunting state, lowered inhibitions through drugs or alcohol, and an individual in distress.

Along with bars and fantasy leagues, there's a push to reach out to hair salons and women's groups — not where one would find a lot of men, of course, but where there are women, who often are an effective way to reach men.

Kenevan said oftentimes men's support groups aren't labeled as such — maybe, for example, a group of men check on each other during their weekly basketball games.

Prevent Suicide Fox Cities is also looking to workforce leaders with a March event that will put the issue in the context of the bottom line.

Speakers will discuss how poor mental health can affect productivity, and provide ways for bosses to take care of employees' mental health.

Katherine Lymn: 920-993-1000, ext. 7232, or klymn@postcrescent.com; on Twitter @kathlymn

Training available

Many advocates recommend "Question, Persuade, Refer" training to prevent suicide. The Post-Crescent is hosting a session in partnership with Prevent Suicide Fox Cities next month:

What: QPR training to prevent suicide

When: 6:30-8:30 p.m. Dec. 9

Where: Copper Rock Coffee, 210 W. College Ave., downtown Appleton (free parking is available a block away on Franklin Street behind The Post-Crescent building)

To register: email klymn@postcrescent.com