so last week i went out on a second date with a woman that identified as a “lesbian”. we met through a dating site. i hadn’t told her i’m trans, nor should i have. so after our second date we went to her house, we made out and i went down on her. then something bad happened. she grabbed my crotch and felt my erect penis. and when this happened she stopped kissing me and gave me a weird look. i was extremely confused at that moment, so i show her my penis and she literally starts screaming. i tried to calm her down and when she got over the initial shock a little bit, she told me i’m a man. that’s when i slapped her. i don’t usually hit women but her calling me a man is worse that physical violence. she just stood there, teary and silent, and looked at me like a fucking idiot. after that i just stormed off and blocked her on my phone.

after i got home i kept thinking… cis people, especially women, are so shallow. this woman screamed because of my genitals. like, do people ask potential partners what type of genitals they have before going out on a date with them? whose fault was it that she assumed i had a vagina? if she was a normal woman and not a lesbian, would she scream if the guy she was dating had a smaller penis than what she hoped for? why the fuck are cis people so obsessed with genitals?

fellow trans women: don’t tell people you’re trans if you don’t want to. you don’t owe shit to anyone. if you’ve had the surgery and you can be stealthy and “trick” people, fucking do it. we don’t need to justify our existence to anyone. if they find out you’re trans and they make you feel bad about it, beat the shit out of them. nobody has the right to invalidate your identity.

you’re beautiful and they were lucky to have a chance with you.