DAYTON, OH—Expressing disappointment at the evident lack of concern for their failed relationship, divorced parents Tim Foster and Eva Ferguson admitted Thursday to being “a little hurt” that the recently completed Christmas list submitted by their daughter Kayla, 8, included no heartfelt but ultimately unrealistic wishes that they might reconcile their differences and get back together as a family once more. “Kayla wants Santa to bring her a new boogie board and a Nintendo Switch—the Nintendo gets five exclamation points—but there’s no mention of her mommy and daddy falling back in love, which I’ve got to admit stings a little,” said Eva Ferguson, adding that, despite her absolute certainty regarding her fundamental incompatibility with her ex-husband, it would be an affirmation of their parenting skills if her daughter begged Santa for a Christmas miracle to bring them together under one roof again. “I’m glad she’s taking the divorce in stride, I guess, but we only just separated back in July. It seemed like she only wanted us to get back together for a couple weeks before completely moving on. We never would, not in a million years, but I sort of wish she wanted it more than she wants a Lego pirate ship.” Ferguson also noted that Kayla had selfishly failed to ask Santa for her recently deceased grandmother to come back to life.



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