The H uman Condition Book Two # 63

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” (George Bernard Shaw). But what if we cannot even begin?

Long ago, when she asked, “Do you like my brownies?” of course I said, “Yes.” When I told her, “These flowers are special, I hope you like them,” what could she say? Now, we are repelled by disgusting flowers and eating awful brownies—with no end in sight.

How do I tell her that I have never liked her special dinner or favorite perfume? How can she tell me that she does not like my prized jacket or that restaurant, the one I know she loves? And if we did tell each other the truth, how could we keep the resentment, hurt and anger from damaging our relationship?

For those of us who want to take the pinch out of being together, there is a magical message that can do just that, but the first step is to create a way of exchanging information comfortably; or at least not so uncomfortably. Consider some old-time, sixth-grade note passing, or emailing or even talking (but back to back or with masks).

Once the channel has been decided, it is time to face that oh-so-dreadful, negative blow-back by creating some ways to soften it: waiting twenty-four hours to respond to my information, or yours, can help, as can responding only in a calm voice (stopping when they rise); and we can agree on a break-away-and-come-back-to-it-later word.

Way above and far beyond all else, we can insert a magical message into every communication. We can write it into each note, and say it at the beginning and end of every talk: We are doing this to better our relationship. We are doing this to bring us closer.

B U T W A I T !



YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN WRONG!

AND AFTER CLICKING THIS LINK, YOU’ll KNOW IT’S TRUE.

http://thehumancond.com/thank-you/15-i-have-never-been-wrong/

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