Dear Dane Cook,

Dude, awesome! That’s super dude-awesome of you to invite The A.V. Club and comedian T.J. Miller out for an Ojai spa weekend—and all on your dime. I can’t speak for T.J., but we’re in. Personally, I could really use it. I get dry skin in the winter, so that “hydrating facial” sounds like just the thing. (Unless you mean you’re going to jizz on me! Because then no way, bro!) One question: When you say “The A.V. Club,” do you mean the whole A.V. Club? Because there are like a dozen of us on the national staff, and quite a few local city editors and assorted freelancers scattered around the country. We don’t want to take advantage of your generosity, so we’re hoping it won’t be a problem to accommodate us all. It doesn’t sound like it will be, because you’re rich!


So really, genuinely cool of you to offer. Some comics might have seen that article and just blown it off, or tried to hit back by saying something funny. (Or actually, what do we know? We’re critics, not comedians—and like you said, “It’s impossible to be both an artist and a critic,” because critics never create anything, and true artists would never criticize other artists.) But, as you say, you’ve been in a more contemplative place ever since Patrice O’Neal died (sorry for your loss), which fortified your “belief that we, as comedians, all need to share and explore our souls up there—and sometimes our perspective on the whimsical minutiae—in order to grow as artists and people.”

Totally. And even when you're an artist primarily known for loudly pointing out life's little foibles through repetition and sound effects, definitely the death of a friend can make your mind go to all sorts of dark and unexpected places, and dredge up all manner of whimsical minutiae to share—like the abortions you skipped out on, the dirty whore cunts you chainsaw-fucked, how awesome you are, etc. It’s an emotional time. We’re just glad you want to involve us in that growth by buying us things with your money.


Anyway, we can talk about all this over the weekend, maybe while we’re chilling in the mud bath. Drop us a line and let us know how you want to handle travel arrangements. We have a feeling this is gonna be special, dude.

Best,

The A.V. Club