Joe Biden speaks to the press at an event in Mount Pleasant, Iowa, June 11, 2019. (Jordan Gale/Reuters)

Or, if you want an abortion or a gun, pay for it yourself.

The mainstream Democratic position on abortion has devolved in just two decades from “Safe, legal, and rare” to “Yee-haw!”

Second Amendment advocates surely have noticed.

Former vice president Joe Biden’s recent gyrations on the Hyde amendment confirm how deeply even a shopworn politician like him must bow to today’s Democrat orthodoxy on abortion. As Biden learned, it’s not enough simply to favor abortion. This epic baby-killing now must be financed by federal taxpayers.


The late congressman Henry Hyde’s legislation has been a “settled amendment” in every federal budget since 1976. The Illinois Republican’s measure prohibited the use of federal taxpayer dollars to finance abortions, except in cases of rape, incest, or life-threatening pregnancies.

Like an Olympic gymnast, Biden flip-flop-flipped on the Hyde amendment — from supporting it since its introduction; to telling an ACLU volunteer in South Carolina “it can’t stay” on May 8; to supporting Hyde on June 5; and back to opposing it June 6. Wobbles aside, Biden eventually pegged the landing: “I can no longer support an amendment that makes that [abortion] right dependent on someone’s ZIP code.”


Biden finally stands where all Democratic presidential contenders must, to avoid the Donkey party’s volcanic, socialist rage: Abortion is A-okay until the moment a baby exits the womb, and taxpayers must sponsor it, at least for the poor.


Today’s Democrats believe that every individual right demands a corresponding taxpayer-funded freebie. That impulse triggers this modest proposal:

Guns for All!

Every American has a Second Amendment right to own a gun, but not everyone can afford one.

A Smith & Wesson .38 Special revolver runs $280. For workers making the $7.25 minimum wage, this equals nearly 39 hours of earnings. That’s almost a whole work week, just for a basic firearm. Unfair!

Those who seek the persuasiveness of a Glock pistol must pay $600 each. That costs a minimum-wage employee 83 hours of labor (more than two 40-hour weeks). Or she simply could sacrifice 150 McDonald’s Big Macs, 129 Starbucks chai lattes, or 46 plates of fettucine Alfredo at Olive Garden.


And the reassurance of a Ruger AR-556 “assault rifle” costs $700. This approximates three weeks’ rent on the average one-bedroom U.S. apartment.


Nobody should have to choose among firearms, food, or shelter. Likewise, the ability to buy a gun shouldn’t be dependent on someone’s ZIP code.

So, say it loud, say it proud: Guns for All!

Congress immediately should allocate $563.8 million as an initial act of basic solidarity with the non-arms-owning public. This amount parallels Planned Parenthood’s taxpayer subsidies and reimbursements for its fiscal year 2018.

This private organization has enjoyed federal dollars despite the 7.6 million abortions that it has perpetrated between 1973’s Roe v. Wade decision and 2017, Life News reports. Last year, it aborted another 332,757 unborn Americans — the most since 2012. Planned Parenthood Federation of America president Leana Wen, M.D., considers abortion part of “our core mission.”

While you spend five minutes reading this op-ed, Planned Parenthood will whack three more babies.

An equivalent $563.8 million federal grant to the National Rifle Association would help this private organization furnish weapons to low-income Americans who yearn to enjoy their constitutional right to keep and bear arms and invoice taxpayers to exercise that right.


It’s only fair: If Democrats want to kill the Hyde amendment and stick pro-life taxpayers with the tab for the constitutionally protected abortions that the Left loves so much, then Republicans should enact Guns for All and force pro-gun-control taxpayers to underwrite the constitutionally protected firearms that the Right loves so much.

On second thought, let’s try this:

Democrats should keep their sticky fingers off the Hyde amendment, and Republicans should ignore Guns for All as an idea whose time has not come. Instead, this simple concept should enjoy bipartisan support: If you want an abortion or a gun, pay for it yourself.

Michael Malarkey contributed research to this opinion piece.