TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact

If it wasn’t the pungent perfume of alcohol oozing out of Simon Barron that gave away his post piss anxiety, it was the bowl of fruit and muesli he was preparing.

Simon, a happy-go-lucky office man from Betoota Bay, usually isn’t one to care for the healthy option, but at the work this morning his health seems like his number one priority.

This obvious change in routine hasn’t gone unnoticed either, with a couple of his colleagues laying into Simon.

“Mate why are you having that shit?”

“What are you running from?” laughed his co-workers, circling a broken Simon like a pack of hyenas.

Sitting down with The Advocate, Simon revealed to our reporter what his fuck up was and why it warrants a repentant bowl fruit and muesli at 10AM.

“Well, I had a life admin day yesterday and you know, I had really high hopes of being productive.”

“But it got to 10:30 and I’d already done all the washing, been to the gym, I had nothing left to do”

“Thought I’d settle into a COD session but when I sat down, a giant bottle of vodka that the Mrs brought back from Duty-Free was just lookin’ at me”

“I had one, then another, and another… then before I knew it…”

“Anyway it wouldn’t have been that bad if I lived alone, but we’re living with the in-laws at the moment… You do the math. It wasn’t good.”

