Our wonderful homecoming begins as we expect, with Jeremy and Emma driving our car, in addition to their own, out to the airport, and placing the keys on the bonnet so we can drive ourselves home. We keep a suitably awkward distance from each other in our hello’s. Once home, neighbours welcome us, waving from across the road as we hop out of the car, and the kids disappear around the back as we unload our bags.

The rest takes us by surprise.