Daniel Carcillo thought he had a perfect plan for retirement when he decided to hang up his skates after his last season with the Chicago Blackhawks.

But Carcillo discovered the hard way his plan wasn’t so perfect. He fell into a deep depression, was angry for unknown reasons, didn’t want to watch hockey any longer and lost the motivation to build his non-profit organization Chapter 5 Foundation. That all lasted for nine months.

Carcillo then did something very brave. He got help. He sought treatment for post-concussion symptoms. He regained his passion for wanting to help other athletes in their own retirement. He recently announced he would also be helping out coaching at Team Illinois, a AAA hockey club.

Carcillo recently spoke at length to The Athletic about what the last year has been like for him. This is the first part of a two-part interview, which was edited only slightly for length and clarity.

Scott Powers: Was staying in Chicago always the plan after your career?

Dan Carcillo: My wife’s from here. She grew up in Mokena, Orland Park, Homer Glen area. Obviously my son was born here during the year, you know, Nov. 24. To be honest here, I always thought in retirement, after I retired I’d go back [to Canada] until I met her. Two and a half years roll by. I mean I love this city. Thinking of retirement, thinking of transition, thinking of how do you capitalize on your likeness and your name in a place where it can be easy for you to rely on the connections that you made over the years, it was just a natural choice.

SP: You recently wrote a post on the Chapter 5 Foundation site about your transition year. Has the transition to retirement been different than you expected?

DC: I thought I was just prepared by just thinking about transition, but that’s not enough at all. It wasn’t even close to being enough. The nine months of depression, stress, anxiety, fear and really not having the help that I think guys deserve for the amount of sacrifice that we put in, it was difficult. I talk about the resources where I touch upon it on the daily blog. When you get out of it is when you talk to another hockey player or when you are around someone who you feel safe and comfortable with. Because one of the biggest things you’ll always share is guys miss the room, guys miss the bus, the plane. For me, that was very evident. That’s what I enjoyed the most. You can take the game away, but don’t take my friends and the connections of my safe community away and drop me in the real world where people, you really have to gauge their motives.

So with Chapter 5 the biggest thing is being a trusted advocate for guys and really doing the research and endorsing people and companies and books and things that have all helped me to get to the point that I am today, so that guys don’t have to worry about, ‘Oh, why is this person talking to me? Is there a motive?’ Because not everybody is out to help you even though they make it seem that way in the beginning.

Daniel Carcillo decided to remain in Chicago after retiring from hockey after the 2014-15 season. (Dennis Wierzbicki/USA TODAY Sports)

SP: You had Chapter 5 in mind before you even retired. Having experienced what you did the last nine months, do you believe something like your foundation is needed even more for retired players?

DC: There’s a Players’ Tribune (video) coming out on Monday or Tuesday, and it’s just a recap of my last 14 months, the struggles that I’ve had even during the season that nobody knew about and obviously getting into what I like to say my transition season and then getting into my actual transition after you officially retire. So the biggest thing about Chapter 5 and my mission and my purpose now every day is to create a program and a resource that works, so that guys can rely on it and there’s a net to catch them and they don’t have to deal with nine months of stress, anxiety, depression, waking up in a victim mentality, feeling resentful towards certain people, things. It’s just not a good way to live. If by offering my story in a transparent way, I think guys can kind of take what they want from it. If they take from it, ‘Oh, man, I better do the preparation because I don’t want to go through that mental hell and anguish,’ then that’s great. That’s the point.

With the last video the point of it was to open people’s eyes and now look at what’s happened. The league’s creating a program. I’ve had really good talks with them. There’s synergy there. Rhett Warrener’s created a program in Calgary. The powers that be, it was kind of a call to arms, but people started listening. This is so much bigger than just hockey players and just athletes, to be honest with you. It can be applied to everyday life.

Myself and Ben Eager accepted [a deal] on a studio rink in Glenview. We’re just going through the due process right now. We want to build it as an academy, a wellness place, but get kids start thinking about themselves because the key to transition is self-assessment and self-awareness and knowing who you are as a person. Because even though I played hockey for so long, I’m still Daniel who enjoys music and my friends and my family and being home in my hometown and feeling safe. I’m not the hockey player named Daniel. That doesn’t come first. What comes first is me. So getting them to do that self-assessment will not only help guys build a foundation for transition, but when you have that belief and core confidence when a coach is trying to [mess] with you on the bench and play mental games with you, you’re going to be so rooted in yourself that it’s not going to affect you and you’ll be a better athlete in turn.

I use words like ‘mental assassin.’ Guys are already special. There are only 750 guys that are playing hockey. I don’t know the other stats, but there aren’t many. There’s not many athletes who make a living at what they do. And so taking those guys who are already extraordinary and then getting them to live even more extraordinary lives and in turn getting them to be better athletes will also help them in that transition phase. It’s just a win-win, right? Also giving that information to kids.

Chapter 5 has really grown into a place where it’s just going to be education and information. That’s what people need. Guys need to know what happens in the transition. The first month you think you’re going to get a call from the league; you’re not. You get a call from the insurance company saying declare whether you want to keep your insurance. You have 18 months to do so. That’s the only phone call I received. Guys need to know that and prepare. Guys need to know the green card process is stressful. I couldn’t work for the last seven months or eight months and now I can. But I encourage (them) to do that during the year. Even if you think, even if you have a little inkling that you’re going to stay in the country and you’re Canadian, just do it and it’ll be done with. Because the team that you’re on now will sponsor you and it’ll get done in a heartbeat. It won’t take you six-seven months. There’s so many pieces to this.

Another big piece is the wives. Gosh, having my wife watch me go through that. I couldn’t even imagine watching her go through it, and she’s my angel. I think the wives really have a key to pushing that guy over the edge if they leave. Fifty percent of them do. That’s the stat. They get divorced in the first year. Or helping them, understanding them and just hey your guy might change a little bit. He might go through a depression period. Just stick by them, he’ll come out of it. That’s one of the big things that grew and what my wife wants to focus on. A lot of good things really came out of the struggle. It’s always like that. Nothing ever worth having is easy. The knowledge that you gain through tough times is what’s going to serve you moving forward. Just encouraging guys to keep connected in their community and take that business card and keep it. Those are the connections of the friends I made in Chicago, those are the people who caught me. Those are the people who really helped me get out of it.

Daniel Carcillo played 400-plus career regular-season games in the NHL. He won two Stanley Cups with the Blackhawks. (Kim Klement/USA TODAY Sports)

SP: What brought you out of your funk?

DC: So my son looked at me one day. He was 15 ½ months and he’s smart. I could tell he was putting two and two together. I almost felt like he was questioning me with his eyes like, ‘Why are you acting this way?’ And I packed a bag and I left. I knew who to call and I knew how to recover because I’ve had treatment before. I found a placed called Pure Recovery in California. They’re working with the NFL alumni on chronic pain. Addiction is a piece of it, but brain injuries is also a piece of it. A lot of it I talk about recovery, self-medicating, numbing out pain, that’s part of the story, but one of the big things they do there is they don’t sedate you like a regular treatment center does. They love you back to life. I met healers there. This one lady named Diana who just grabbed my ankles and said, ‘What’s going on with your left side? What happened?’ I said, ‘Well, I’ve had an ACL surgery on my knee. I had arthroscopic on my left hip. I’ve had a hernia surgery on my left ab.’ That’s not from a conversation. That’s from her grabbing my Achilles’ heels and feeling my energy. There was a shaman there named Pathfinder who put his hands over my heart. He said, ‘What’s going on with your heart? You got a lot of grief.’ I said, ‘Well, I’ve dealt with four deaths, a birth, a transition, a marriage, starting a non-profit.’ He just laughed out loud and said, ‘Yeah, that’ll do it.’

SP: Do you reflect on your career or is that best not to do at this point to think about how things occurred?

DC: Not at all. So the league hasn’t admitted playing hockey can cause concussions, and I’m okay with that. Honestly, there’s a lawsuit. I’m not a part of that because I don’t resent the league. The league has given me everything I have right now. The league is the reason I met my wife, the reason I was in Chicago, the reason I have a beautiful 18-month-old son. It all is in direct correlation to the league. The reason I’m financially stable, the reason I have this platform that people will listen to me is because of the NHL. So how can I resent them? There was a period where I wasn’t able to turn on a hockey game. I didn’t want to go to the rink when the Blackhawks were asking me to come be a part of the alumni. Like I said, it just takes time to work through that stuff and stop unconscious choices and get clear-headed enough to realize this stuff. To realize, man, I’m so blessed and lucky to have the people I have in my life. I just went to dinner last night with Pete Hassen and Ben Eager. Pete has been amazing, man. Just an unbelievable man and everybody in that front office, John McDonough, all the way down, they’ve been so supportive.

You look back on your life and I have reflected on my career. How many guys can say they walked away under their own recognizance, made that decision? There aren’t many guys who can say that. The reason I made that decision was because what I saw happen to my friend Steve (Montador), I was spiritually, mentally just beat down and done. I was just tired. I just knew I didn’t have another year in me. I just didn’t. It’s funny because some of my wife’s friends just don’t get it. People will say, ‘Oh, man, the best part of your life is over.’ That’s what they say sometimes. I’m like, ‘No, you’re wrong.’ I’m 31 years old. When I think ahead to where I can be with this foundation and my life and with my son and nine years when I’m 40, I mean I get so freaking excited. Not only for where I think can be and how many guys we can help, but also I don’t have to go back to that lifestyle of getting hit, of stressing about oh man this guy’s 30 pounds heavier and seeing who I might have to protect my teammates from. Even with this foundation, with this stuff and what I’ve realized who I am as a person, I need to protect guys for whatever reason even to a detriment to myself. That’s just who I am. I would do it in my career. It wouldn’t even be a thought. If I saw somebody getting taken advantage of, I’m there. It’s not different with the foundation and just helping guys through what I know, what I’ve experienced in such a difficult time.

It’s freeing to know that if I want to go to California tomorrow, hop on a plane, I go to California. If I want to go see my family, I go home and see my family. Nothing dictates my schedule other than me. It’s great because you sacrifice so much. You don’t have to do that anymore. I can watch my son. I can see my son every single day. I can put him down. I can read stories to him at 7 o’clock. I bathe him. That’s the kind of father I want to be. It’s exciting. It’s different, but also there’s so many advantages. It’s just exciting.

(Part 2 of this interview will run Tuesday.)