If a guy’s wife files a harassment or domestic abuse restraining order during a divorce action, this is filed (at least in Wisconsin) as a civil matter separate from the divorce. Our office assists clients when this happens, and it is important to attend the hearing and fight against the restraining order being entered.

If it is entered, this can pose lots of problems when it comes to custody and placement. If there are pictures, text messages or witnesses who can provide testimony that counters what the wife alleges, that is the easiest way to defeat such an allegation, but often times the allegations stem from incidents where it was just the parties involved.

If that’s the case, then it’s the attorney’s job to make sure that our client’s testimony as to what occurred is more credible than the testimony of the spouse requesting the restraining order.

Often times these allegations can also be defeated simply through good lawyering. For example, I’ll run into situations where I have a client who has been taking care of the children for extended periods of time throughout the marriage while the other parent is working. Then, all of a sudden when the divorce is filed, the client’s wife is arguing for supervised placement because my client is abusive.

Well, if the wife was fine leaving the kids unsupervised with client for extended periods of time before the divorce was filed, why would that not be OK after the divorce is filed? Making arguments like this forces the opposing party to explain the logic and timing of their accusation.

I think it’s important for guys to realize that any accusation of abuse can be a serious problem to overcome when custody and placement are at issue in a divorce, so it’s important to get on top of the accusation as soon as it is made.

These days, swearing, yelling and derogatory comments can be viewed as abuse, so it’s important to be VERY careful, especially if you know you are headed for a divorce or a divorce has already been filed.