Futures are down a thousand and Asia is having their balls chopped off, which is child’s play in comparison to what’s in store for me tomorrow morning with my XIV position.

Just a few days ago, I cockily sashayed into the position, promising great fortune to my great, great grandchildren — profiting from the total breakdown in volatility — which has been a given for the past decade — until now.

Starting rather immediately, both SVXY and XIV will trade directly to zero. DO NOT PASS GO!

Why?

Termination clause.

Any fucking questions?

We played the game in a funhouse of mirrors beset by fiendish clowns and leave with nothing at all — not even our pants. It’s actually poetic to get blown the fuck out in an ETN that has done nothing but trend higher for a decade. Going into Friday’s tape, XIV had a Sharpe ratio of 1.81, which is insanely strong — indicative of a product that doesn’t really shift in standard deviation. It was a simple product, the farmer of the ETF world. And now it’s dead — triggered by a clause that maybe 1% of buyers bothered to research. There is a lesson in here, tucked away deep under all of this chicanery. I am sure Credit Suisse will just redeem the product and issue a new one next week — maybe even under the same ticker symbol.

Last week I featured a chap named Carlos who got wiped the fuck out in Bitconnect. We’re all Carlos now. Watch this video and simply replace the word “Bitconnect” with “XIV” and you’ll know exactly what I looked like last week.

My gameplay for tomorrow is simple: enter the hellscape with guns blazing, sell out of my SOXS position for a quick profit, lick my wounds with XIV, contain losses with other retard positions, allocate cash into something that is going to fucking rip heads off to the upside whenever the market turns higher again.

Futures are chopping dicks off to the downside right now — down by 1,200. European markets, more or less, off by 7%. Asia: fucked. Bitcoin: a memory. A Devil Dog moment fast approaches.

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