"Clock's ticking, Bob. And I'm only getting older."



- Clint Eastwood, in the movie "Space Cowboys"

The "New Unemployables" is an in-depth study that reports older job seekers are having trouble finding employment.

In the real world, that revelation is called "duh!"

In the academic world, it's called a thesis.

Professors from Boston College and Rutgers have compiled the data to tell us that "older workers are currently less likely to find new employment, and when they do find new jobs, their job search has taken longer."

No worries. Two other professors have an idea to help the seniors' job market.

"To Boldly Go" is the work of Dirk Schulze-Makuch, a Washington State University professor, and Paul Davies, a physicist at Arizona State University. It urges the United States to accelerate its plans to colonize Mars by sending up two-man teams of space explorers.

There's just a tiny little hitch: There wouldn't be a return trip back to Earth.

"You would send a little bit older folks, around 60 or something like that," Schulze-Makuch said.

"The astronauts would go to Mars with the intention of staying for the rest of their lives, as trailblazers of a permanent human Mars colony," the study said.

I called my friend Ed Buckbee, who has been involved in the space program since 1959 and was the first director of the U.S. Space & Rocket Center, and told him about the story.

"I think there's got to be a better plan than that," he said, laughing in disbelief.

Buckbee said the recommendation for travelers "fits my group, but I can't imagine too many signing up for that one-way trip."

I'm not yet 60, but I can see it if I stand on my tip-toes. Some of my contemporaries I surveyed aren't intrigued by visiting Mars until they are assured there will be access to Dreamland ribs and more than basic cable available.

A trip to Mars does sound intriguing. But all in all, most of us Baby Boomers might agree with Buckbee.

"Put me on the waiting list," he said, "for the round trip ticket."

NASA administrator Charles Bolden Jr. was in Huntsville Tuesday for an "all-hands" meeting with Marshall Space Flight Center employees. It was closed to the media.

We can only assume that was because Bolden was checking the room for 60-year-olds.

Or not.

A NASA spokesman was quoted saying "we want our people back."

There is precedent, at least in fiction. "Space Cowboys" featured Eastwood, Donald Sutherland, James Garner and Tommy Lee Jones as aging pilots who took on a desperation mission.

Some will see "To Boldly Go" as proof that some college professors have too much time on their hands.

Some will see this as a heartless affront to an entire generation.

Some, since their respective employers are a combined 6-15 this season, would suggest it's high time Washington State and Arizona State get back to the important business of football, not wacko ideas about space travel.

Some might just figure Schulze-Makuch has an annoying mother-in-law he'd like to launch.

He knew NASA wouldn't be supportive and said the project would need "an eccentric billionaire."

We assume he meant for funding, not as a passenger.

We recommend Donald Trump in either case.

Contact Mark McCarter