We're always reluctant here to report on The Presidential Tweets in and of themselves. Usually, they're fact-allergic tirades meant to steer the day's conversation in a transparently artificial way. Also, they're usually cribbed from Fox & Friends, that hallowed ground of American discourse.

But on this, the day of my daughter's wedding—that is, the day after Donald Trump's former campaign chairman was convicted on eight federal felony charges and his longtime fixer pled guilty to eight more, implicating him directly—we would be remiss not to highlight a couple of absolute gems that, in fairness, are more a response to what we're all talking about anyway.

First, there is the President of the United States applauding his former campaign chief for observing omertà as he was convicted of bank and tax fraud:

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I feel very badly for Paul Manafort and his wonderful family. “Justice” took a 12 year old tax case, among other things, applied tremendous pressure on him and, unlike Michael Cohen, he refused to “break” - make up stories in order to get a “deal.” Such respect for a brave man! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 22, 2018

If you're keeping score at home, the president just praised a convicted felon as "brave" because he refused to "break"—that is, cooperate with federal law enforcement. (As a side note, it's a sad day in America when you can't trust a guy who owns a jacket made out of snakes.) Just in case you needed confirmation on what kind of person talks like this, here's a sampler from Mr. Phil Leotardo of Brooklyn:

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All this is reminiscent of when Trump went ranting about how Michael Cohen would never "flip," and called reports that he was considering doing so Fake News.



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The New York Times and a third rate reporter named Maggie Haberman, known as a Crooked H flunkie who I don’t speak to and have nothing to do with, are going out of their way to destroy Michael Cohen and his relationship with me in the hope that he will “flip.” They use.... — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 21, 2018

Whoops! Looks like there was some True News in that one. You can tell because Trump's take on Michael Cohen, Attorney at Law, has somewhat shifted this Wednesday morning:

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If anyone is looking for a good lawyer, I would strongly suggest that you don’t retain the services of Michael Cohen! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 22, 2018

This is an objectively hilarious tweet. It is good. There's a forlorn comedy to it even if the self-deprecation isn't intended. If Donald Trump said this to you at a cocktail party, and he were not President of the United States and continually posturing towards using the powers of his office to destroy democratic institutions and the rule of law, you would chuckle. Admit it.

You might also chuckle as we move from checking in on Trump's former lawyer to one of his current ones. Here's Rudolph Giuliani, Yankee Stadium pariah, weighing in on yesterday's developments:

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Giuliani, calling Post from golf course in Scotland, says he has spoken with POTUS today and deliberated over what it all means—Manafort, Cohen, etc. Says, optimistically, they believe Mueller “might be at the end now. He has to be winding down. What else is there? Near the end.” — Robert Costa (@costareports) August 22, 2018

Sure, we might be near the end. Now four Trump campaign advisers have pled guilty to federal crimes and one has been convicted. Two others in the probe have also pled out. Twenty-nine other individuals and entities have been charged, steadily, over the last few months. Maybe nothing more is coming.

You have to admire Giuliani's optimism. They prefer not to look at things as Glass Half Guilty in Trumpworld, as you can see from another Presidential Tweet from Wednesday morning:

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A large number of counts, ten, could not even be decided in the Paul Manafort case. Witch Hunt! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 22, 2018

That's true! Manafort was merely convicted on eight counts. The other ten were declared a mistrial, and prosecutors will need to decide whether to re-try them. Part of their calculus might be that Manafort is already slated for a huge jail stay, and he has an entire new trial set to kick off in Washington, D.C., soon on separate charges. But sure, he went 10-for-18.

Nothing was so optimistic, however, as Trump's assessment of Cohen's plea:

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Michael Cohen plead guilty to two counts of campaign finance violations that are not a crime. President Obama had a big campaign finance violation and it was easily settled! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 22, 2018

Normally, in federal court, they only accept guilty pleas towards real crimes. Cohen will serve between 46 and 63 months in prison, rather than a possible 65 years had he not pled out. Sounds pretty real. Oh, and in a truly shocking development, the president is not being honest about the Obama campaign violation he's equating to his own personal lawyer paying off a porn star, allegedly at his direction. What would a presidential tweetstorm be without some lies?

Jack Holmes Politics Editor Jack Holmes is the Politics Editor at Esquire, where he writes daily and edits the Politics Blog with Charles P Pierce.

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