It’s hard not to smile during xXx: Return of Xander Cage. And while I’m not sure we’re meant to — the film is part send-up and part serious, and not always clear about which parts are which — a smile is a smile and this movie is loud, mindless, and fun.

Vin Diesel — who turns 50 this summer — plays the titular Cage, an extreme sports athlete turned reluctant spy who has the arms of a juicer, the sartorial proclivities of a sizzurp-turnt street pimp, and the guttural delivery of a dump truck full of damp bricks. Diesel trudges through shiny sets glowering at authority figures, professing his love for mayhem, and delivering taut one-liners whilst grinding on a seemingly unending procession of eager, wriggling women. (At least I think it’s Vin — his stunt doubles do steal a large chunk of his screen time.) That’s more or less the formula that worked for xXx in 2002, and fans of the franchise — if any remain following the unspeakable 2005 installment — will no doubt be pleased as punch.

For everyone else, xXx: Return of Xander Cage is a bit of a mixed bag. On the plus side, director DJ Caruso (Eagle Eye, and the aptly named Disappointments Room) assembles a truly multicultural cast including Hong Kong action star Donnie Yee, Bollywood sensation Deepika Padukone, Chinese-Canadian singer and actor Kris Wu, Australian actresses Ruby Rose (who plays a putatively-lesbian lion-friendly sniper) and Toni Collette (bet you didn’t see that one coming), Thai martial arts expert Tony Jaa, hulking Scot Rory McCann, and British UFC middleweight champ Michael Bisping, as well as Nina Dobrev, Hermione Corfield, some Ice Cube and a short hot taste of Samuel L. Jackson.

That many powerful faces clamoring for screen time would be a tall ask in a talkie, and here they must all give way to a steady drumbeat of motorcycle fights, skydives, skateboards zipping down mountain roads, and skiers ripping through jungles. The action scenes are virtually nonstop, shot with jerky cams and loud bangs and utter disregard for physics or reality in general. The plot, such as it is, makes pretty much no sense on its own terms.

In other words, this latest xXx feels a lot like another Fast and Furious movie, minus some actors, with a couple fewer cars, and with Cage’s “I live for this shit!” mantra and monstrous fur collars replacing Dominic Toretto’s incessant bleats about loyalty and family. There’s a definite market for this sort of thing. It’s vividly shot, with super saturated colors bursting on screen; we see some sweet locations, impossibly long gunfights, and oh-so-dope threads, as well as the requisite black SUVs and dim-lit government back-rooms jammed with gadgets and blinking screens. That’s probably enough: You won’t come for the story, and you probably won’t leave knowing what it was, anyway.

Nina Dobrev is spunky and hilarious here, stealing every scene she’s in — it’s too bad she quickly joins the parade of women who fall prone and gasping at the first whiff of Diesel’s hoary musk. (In gender equality terms, this is about as backward a film as 2017’s climate will permit — and no, casting a pair of female agents doesn’t buy you a social carbon offset when the vast majority of women in the picture appear to be horny, lip-biting fluffers for a dude in a fur coat old enough to be everyone’s daddy.) Note that this film opens the day President Trump takes office.

But to subject xXx to the usual barrage of criticism is, in a way, to miss the point. This is escapism and silliness and loud; it’s visually entertaining and keeps the popcorn munching and the ICEEs flowing and the crowd happy, even if not always for the purest of reasons. Go ahead and see it: I won’t hold it against you.

Haus Verdict: A silly and vivid spectacle of multicultural stars, extreme stunts, gravelly quips, and mighty fur collars that’s all sugar and, in the end, alright.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage opens January 20.

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