“Try not to lock eyes with him.”

“Walk faster!”

“Don’t put on an inviting smile.”





It’s what we tell ourselves to build an indestructible, protective, unseen wall between ourselves and - cue the dramatic, suspenseful music – strangers.

Shudder.

They’re just so ... strange, aren’t they?

It’s true what they say. Every single person that you whiz by, as you put a pep in your step to dodge the hair-raising experience of dealing with a dreaded stranger, knows something that you don’t know.

That Thai woman in the bohemian skirt who stood behind you in line for your morning coffee has the best sci-fi book recommendations to satisfy your dystopian novel cravings.

That college professor you always pass by after chemistry class miraculously survived a horrific shipwreck in the 60s and can tell the tale in a way that sends a bone-chilling shiver up your spine.

That blonde-haired woman who sat next to you is currently best friends with the person you were madly in love with in high school.





And there you are, flying up the steps, exiting the 6 train, putting so much effort in having tunnel vision to evade “outsiders,” while you are completely oblivious to the wealth of knowledge and resources, right at your fingertips - just one strange interaction away.

This is something that hit me during my last few Uber rides in the city.





“Tell me the difference between being smart and wise,” an Uber driver with a thick Eastern European said to me one day.

“Look,”I thought, “I just want to enjoy the car ride in peace and quiet, and not have to force myself to make words come out of my mouth.” But he was staring at me intensely, waiting hungrily for an answer. Hmph! I guess I’ll entertain him for now.

I replied with a half-hearted response that was something along the lines of, “Oh, I don’t know – smart people develop their intelligence through books, and wise people get their intelligence from life experience?”

He paused for a second, offered a facial expression that seemed like he thought, “Hm, not bad."





But shook his head no. That wasn't the answer he was looking for.

“You see, a smart person learns from their mistakes, but a wise person learns from other people’s mistakes.”

And boom! Just like that, my silent ride escalated into a heated discussion about whether mistakes are vital for optimal human development.

“What do you mean?” I said. “You’ve got to go endure the consequences of your mistakes, painful scars and all, to truly come away with valuable lessons. It might be disturbing, but you damn sure won’t do it again!”

Then, my 35-year-old Uber driver delved into the craziest stories about his wild antics as a young man in his early 20s, including drag racing with a random dude on the highway. "I ended up winning! I smoked him!" he said. "But here’s the kicker - that 'random person' turned out to be an undercover police officer!"





“Yay! Congratulations. You beat me. Now, here’s a nice $600 ticket for you,” the cop told him.

“Why the f*** should I have to be $600 poorer to know that I shouldn’t do dumb sh** like that? Why didn’t I just learn from the last idiot who got slapped with a speeding ticket?”he said.

Fair enough.

After taking a breather, he looked back at me and flashed a friendly smile. He changed the subject, and said, “Look, if I can give you some random advice – advice that I wish somebody gave me when was your age, don’t feel pressured to move out of your parents place too quickly.”

"Why?" I asked - I didn't see the issue with flying out the nest as soon as possible.

“Your parents are the most valuable, precious people you can have in your life,” he said.

“Don’t be like me where I jumped ship too soon, visited them intermittently over the past years, and then suddenly, they were gone,” he added sadly, oozing with Eastern European smoothness in his voice. "I just wish I would have spent more time with them - more dinners, more face-to-face conversations, just more time to absorb their presence here on this earth."

Wow. Earlier, I didn’t even want to utter a single word to this guy. I would have missed out on a mind-stimulating conversation and little golden nuggets of knowledge by simply talking to a stranger.

Oh, and let me tell you about my impassioned Hispanic Uber driver who had a few words of wisdom about love. “I judged him! I really did! I didn’t want to be with someone who worked at UPS," she said about her current lover.





She told me she’s a divorcee and her ex-husband provided the life she always dreamed of – lavish trips to the Pacific Islands, name-brand bags and shoes that many women salivated over, and kicking back in a beautiful home as a housewife.

“But I have never been so miserable in my life. My ex-husband he – he never came home. He was very promiscuous.”

Translation: He cheated on her like crazy.

“I was so lost. I just depended on him because I had no other means to support myself, but I was trapped in rotten marriage. Fast forward to today, I meet this amazing guy who makes a fraction of what my ex-husband makes, but he treats me like a queen ... I’ve never been happier.”

Hm.

“You can’t have it all,” she told me, “But if you’ve got to choose, a faithful heart is more invaluable than anything money can buy.”

In all the moments when we’re so determined to get from A to B, making a conscious effort to “cold shoulder” strangers, I wonder how many illuminating, enlightening conversations we’ve missed out on that would have shaped our lives for the better – whether we end up inadvertently networking with someone or simply getting a good, healthful laugh for the day.

I met an Eastern European life coach and a Latina love guru - who could you run into if you opened your mind and heart?











