I previously talked about how to not be a jerk during an interview. Now, for the flip side, what’s the secret to killing an interview. I’ll give you a hint, it’s one word and it can make you more successful in just about every aspect of your life. That word is…



Presence

Many people will ask, what do you mean by presence? They’ll think to themselves, “I’m at an interview, I’m here in this building, I’m present.” Yes, you might be there physically, but are you, yourself, currently present in this moment?

The idea of presence is an alien concept for many of us in this modern age of iPhones, emails, and Facebook. So many things constantly vying for your attention, you probably don’t even realize you’re not present. Let’s do a check, shall we?

Are you currently present right now, are you here in this moment, reading every word and thoroughly digesting its meaning? Or are you reading this article while thinking about that meeting later, those emails you have to read, or the dinner you have to make…

If your mind is not entirely focused on the current moment then you are not present.

People can feel this. Being present is actually our natural state as human beings. Presence is what allowed us to not only survive, but thrive, during our much more dangerous hunter-gatherer past. If someone’s mind was occupied with the past or the future during a hunt they got eaten or killed.

You need to learn to connect with your raw human ancestry. There is something very primal about being in the present moment. Not only do you feel it, but everyone you encounter will feel it. The stronger your sense of presence is the more you draw others into the present and the more others will be drawn to you.

Presence is a gift, and you can give that gift to everyone you meet. When you do this at an interview your interviewers will feel it and love it. They will thank you for it. Many times, you’ll be the only person during a series of interviews to exhibit this quality. Because of this, you’ll be the only person they call back.

People crave the present moment, so if you can give that to them they will crave you as well.

Learning Presence

Learning presence is kind of a misnomer. You were born present, the ability to be present is already in you. It’s more training your mind and body to forget about the distractions of the past and the future, leaving out all of the chatter in your mind.

The trick to doing this is focus.

Focus on the present. You can practice right now. Look around you, at the dust on the screen, the plastic on your keyboard. If you’ve got a window look outside. Just start noticing everything around you in the here and now. Treat it as a kind of meditation. If you start thinking about the past or the future just remind yourself you need to be here, now.

Physical sensations will also help you to feel the here and now. Try rubbing the skin on your arms or even pinching yourself. Blink really slow and notice how that feels. Experiment and let me know in the comments other ways you get yourself to feel present.

If your mind is really noisy and you’re not sure how to shut it off I recommend you start with a daily mediation practice. Don’t worry, meditation is not some new-agey mumbo jumbo. It’s more like exercise but for your mind. You only get good at things you practice, and a daily meditation practice will allow you to get good at quieting your mind.

If you’ve never done meditation before I highly recommend starting with Deep Meditation, it’s a great step by step guide to starting a very basic meditation practice (it’s also a very small book, you can go through it in a day and learn a lifetime of meditation practice). I personally practice this method daily.

Presence in an Interview

Why is presence so important in an interview? Because when you’re present with someone you’re showing them they’re important to you. It makes them feel like they’re the only person in the world. Can you imagine what that feels like? It’s a very powerful feeling.

People not only love it, they remember when you’re present with them. And this memory can last for years because its so powerful.

Essentially, to be present during an interview, you forget all of your past and all of your future and focus on the here and now. You look your interviewer(s) in the eye and sit with them in the present moment. All of your mental attention is on them and the conversation you’re having.

You’re not in the future, you’re not thinking about the job, you’re thinking about being here with the other person.

I recommend practicing with friends or loved ones first. If you’re new to the present moment it can be shocking when you go into it with someone else.

More Practice

Start by unplugging. Unplug from Facebook and the rest of your social networks. Turn off your phone. Then, once you’re completely unplugged, go for a walk in nature. If you don’t have nature go for a walk around the block.

When you’re walking practice noticing things. Noticing brings you into the present moment. Notice the sun on your skin, the sound of the breeze and cars. When thoughts of emails or meetings creep into your mind just remind yourself that you’re doing your presence exercise and it will be there when you get back, then continue on noticing things.

Sit down somewhere, close your eyes, and notice all of the physical sensations going on around you.

You need to unlearn all of the distracting habits modern technology has taught you.

I cannot stress how important this topic is:

You need to unlearn all of the distracting habits modern technology has taught you.

In a world where no one is present, your taking the time to make someone feel important by being completely present with them will make their day and possibly change your life.

If you have any other tips on getting present let me know in the comments, I’m sure others would love to hear about them.