In light of the Harvey Weinstein allegations…

I feel the need to share a story of my own personal experience where a man in a position of power over me, used that said power to try and take advantage of me.

I was a teenager working on a project.. when I started to have a crush on a guy I was working with.

He was incredibly charming and charismatic– we flirted for a while before we went on our first date. He was pretty significantly older than me, but I thought of myself as mature so it didn’t seem like a big deal.

I’m not comfortable giving specific details about the situation because I don’t feel it’s necessary. All that matters is that he tried to force himself on me when we were on a date.

I had to stop him and say “no, I don’t want that,” and “I can’t do that.” I physically walked away from the situation before it could get any worse. I remember feeling like this was a scene right out of a horror movie.

After awkward silence and me feeling completely violated and uncomfortable, he convinced me to get in his car– I assumed he was going to drive me home. I didn’t have any money and couldn’t afford a taxi or an Uber. So I figured it was okay.

As we were driving, I realized he was trying to take me back to his apartment. And I knew if I made it there, something bad was going to happen to me. I told him to drop me off at my home, that I didn’t want to go back to his place. He said some snarky comment but reluctantly brought me to where I was staying.

The next day I tried to talk to him about the situation. I told him how uncomfortable it made me and how wrong it felt.

Thinking back on it now, the situation is hard for me to swallow. I was so young and didn’t know how to handle the situation. I just knew how wrong it felt and that I had been violated.

This guy proceeded to tell me that it was my fault for leading him on. Saying that “I seemed like a sexual girl and that I’d be down for it.” That I misled him.

Days following, he grew angry at the situation and became defensive about it and his actions. Claiming that I was “a tease” and “the most manipulative woman he’d ever met.” His ego was bruised to say the least, because I refused to engage with him sexually that night.

He refused to talk to me. I remember begging him to come outside his trailer so we could talk. I needed clarity on the situation. I felt like I had genuinely done something wrong– that maybe I really was being a tease to him and led him to believe that I wanted to be with him sexually.

I was miserable. And I felt that I needed to keep my mouth shut about the entire situation because 1. I figured no one would believe me and 2. he played a much bigger role in this project than me… he had more power. If I said something, maybe the production would be halted… people would be put out of work. I would be looked at as dramatic and a diva, no one would want to work with me again.

So I understand how these women feel- the women coming forward about being harassed and assaulted by Harvey Weinstein. Feeling that they’d rather keep quiet at the time than start a discussion that could lead to them being called a liar or overly dramatic.

I stand with them. I believe them. I believe in standing up for yourself as a woman and coming forward about sexual harassment.

I’m coming forward about my own experience to further express how common these assaults are in this industry and how important it is that we take action to fight against it.