9:55 AM — Dispatcher: “[Sigh] Oh, they’re dropping already. Can you head over to 500 West Madison for the female passed out in the food court?”

So began St. Patrick’s Day in Chicago 2018. As we do every year, CWBChicago editors monitored Wrigleyville police and fire radios for potential news (and for our yearly run-down of the insanity that was heard). For the first time this year, we also listened in on activity downtown.

We were hoping to be able to declare a winner for most arrests—would Downtown’s massive crowd overpower Wrigleyville’s drunken expertise? But declaring a winner is proving to be more difficult than anticipated. Here’s what we know: As of 8:30 p.m. on Saturday, Downtown had seven known St. Pat’s-related arrests and Wrigleyville had six. But Wrigleyville seemed to be picking up steam. We’ll take a look at the police records and declare a winner this week.

In the meantime, this is what you came here for:

10:12 AM — Dearborn and Randolph. People are climbing on the CTA bus.

10:14 AM — Marine Unit: “Send me more cars. We need to clear out City Winery” on the Riverwalk.

10:40 AM — “Complainant says a male white in an orange hat and green jacket just punched him, took his hat off, and threw it.” Illinois and Columbus.

10:42 AM — Wrigleyville police commander: “Did I ever tell you how much I hate the color green?”

10:52 AM — Male white, green sweatshirt, green pants, walking on the handrails of the State Street bridge.

10:54 AM — Man stabbed in robbery attempt aboard inbound Metra train. Primary suspect: Male, black, 18, 6’4” tall, green sweatshirt and a vest.

11:32 AM — CTA says people are throwing beads at passing trains. 900 block of Wellington.

11:16 AM — Second person found with a minor stab wound on that Metra train.

11:42 AM — “They’re throwing bottles by the Channel 7 van.”

12:22 PM — Prisoner transport van: “We got a very intoxicated female behind us” Congress and Columbus. EMS going

12:29 PM — Request for crime scene tape to keep people away from City Winery.

12:35 PM — “They’re throwing beer bottles at the parade by the Lincoln statue. Get me a mounted unit.”

12:36 PM — Prisoner transport van: “Now we got an intoxicated male in front of us.” EMS going.

12:44 PM — EMS rolling for a 15-year-old male who’s passed out drunk. Jackson/Wabash.

12:48 PM — EMS rolling for a 17-year-old who’s passed out drunk by the skating rink.

Quick time out to vomit over the rails of the Armitage L station and she’ll be back in the game | Craig Vodnik

12:54 PM — Female passed out between the porta-potties. Jackson and Congress.

1:11 PM — “We gotta get these people outta the trees!” near the Lincoln Statue.

1:12 PM — Lincoln Statue: Female down. “Struck by a Tito’s bottle.”

1:18 PM — “Do we have the Lincoln Memorial under control yet?” Answer: Absolutely not.

1:18 PM — It’s too close to call officially, but it appears that Wrigleyville had its first arrest of the day before downtown did. The honoree is hauled away from Deuces and The Diamond Club, 3505 North Clark.

No word on if this is the guy who got arrested, but this video by Barstool Big Cat was taken at Deuces and it happened around the same time:

1:23 PM — Back downtown, the first float has crossed the finish line.

1:24 PM — “Intoxicated male down” at the water tower pumping station.

1:28 PM — First known arrest downtown. Michigan and Wacker.

1:29 PM — “Is your person down the one between the porta-potties or the one lying in the field?”

1:36 PM — Male hit with a bottle by the Lincoln Statue. Dispatcher: “This is a male, right? Cuz we had a female before. I wanna make sure it’s not a dupe” It’s not a dupe. “He’s right across from the Channel 7 News van, bleeding from the head.”

1:36 PM — Back in Lakeview: “Oakdale and Sheffield. The residents are complaining because there’s tons of intoxicated people vomiting on their lawn.”

1:50 PM — Another arrest downtown. The man was operating a drone “behind the Channel 7 news van.”

1:55 PM — A man has passed out drunk on a float. ““Is he staying on the float?” “NO. He fell off. He in the middle of the ground.” “Got it. Male drunk off da float!”

2:27 PM — Lakeview. 2900 block of North Sheffield. “The condo president is receiving calls from tenants about a disruptive party. There’s underage drinking, public urination, marijuana smoking, destruction of property and much more.”

2:40 PM — The last float has crossed the finish line downtown. “Woo-hoo!” “Command post did you copy?” “We copy THANK YOU!!!”

2:46 PM — A total of four arrests at this point downtown.

2:49 PM — Spoke too soon. The fifth person is arrested downtown for trying to jump off a bridge. “He’s in custody at City Winery.”

3:24 PM — “Getting a call of a disturbance at Sheffield and Wolfram. Anonymous caller says two females are trying to make out in front of him. Caller says he’ll be out front waiting for the police.”

3:29 PM — Person with a gun. Male white, green jacket pulled a gun from his backpack near Michigan and Monroe. Suspect is immediately taken into custody in front of the Chicago Athletic Association Hotel. Firearm recovered. Arrest #6 for downtown.

3:35 PM — That Lakeview condo board president is calling again. The partiers are “having sex in the courtyard and they want the police to respond again.”

4:42 PM — State and Illinois. “We got a female white who fell and hit her face on a pole.” Dispatcher: “Oh, my! Is she intoxicated?

5:35 PM — Report: “There’s a leaky bag at Trump Tower. No lights, wires, or markings.”

5:35 PM — There are currently two battery reports being taken at the Wrigleyville Taco Bell. Separate incidents.

5:38 PM — Now we have three battery victims behind Barleycorn in Wrigleyville.

5:45 PM — At 1160 South Michigan, there’s a male white, green jacket, green jeans and green smudges on his face trying to break into a condo.

5:46 PM — Clark and Belmont: “Caller says a man with pigeons on his jacket is trying to take advantage of a woman in a cheetah-print outfit at Target.” She’s very intoxicated.

6:08 PM — Caller wants to see the police at 324 West Chicago. She says “they physically threw her out of the bar.” She’ll be wearing green leggings, a green skirt, and a green shirt.

6:21 PM — Dispatcher: “Cierra again?!? I swear to god, this woman is going bar-to-bar-causing trouble.”

6:22 PM — Woman says a male Hispanic just sold her sister crack cocaine at the adult bookstore, 53 West Hubbard. The caller will be inside the bookstore.

6:24 PM — 900 block of Fletcher: Male in a jacket and jeans. “He’s drinking, smoking, and taking pleasures with himself.”

6:27 PM — Random transmission: “You can’t make this stuff up.”

Wrigleyville’s Clark Street was closed to traffic around 7 p.m. to accommodate emergency vehicles. | Screengrab from video by @The1stMikeC

6:29 PM — Arrest #3 for Wrigleyville. A woman in custody for battering a man in the 3500 block of North Wilton.

6:32 PM — “A male drunk with a gash on his head walked into their apartment, went into the roommate’s bedroom and fell asleep. They don’t know the guy.” State and 8th.

6:44 PM — “Caller says the male is dancing on a table at Roy’s, urinating on the side of the restaurant.” #Hawaiirish

7:03 PM — Wrigleyville arrest #4. Man battered security at Taco Bell.

8:08PM — Boystown records its first arrest of the evening. Congratulations, Roscoe’s! Keeping with our scorekeeping rules, the arrest will count toward Wrigleyville’s total.

8:28PM — Footchase! One in custody behind HVAC in Wrigleyville! That’s #6 for the North Siders.