Forget dating apps: Play 'Dream Daddy,' a video game about dating hot, single dads

"What type of dream is this?" "What type of dream is this?" Photo: Photo Illustration: SFGate/ Getty Images Photo: Photo Illustration: SFGate/ Getty Images Image 1 of / 20 Caption Close Forget dating apps: Play 'Dream Daddy,' a video game about dating hot, single dads 1 / 20 Back to Gallery

Should I go on a date with Crossfit Dad? Goth Dad? Teacher Dad? The pressure is on.

I decide to go with Mat, the Cool Dad who used to play in a band. He's a music lover, insistent that punk's not dead – it just drives a minivan and has to hire a babysitter. Most days, he spends his time managing a coffee shop or hanging out at the park with his daughter, Carmensita.

My character – also a hot dad – is apprehensive about going to a concert on our first date. He hasn't been to a live show since before his daughter was born, when '80s prog rock, pet rocks and mullets were cool.

When the show begins, I'm mobbed by kids moshing to the music (played by the real Canadian band PUP). I try to stay close to Mat, but lose him in the crowd. I find him afterward, and he tells me, "Guess we should have held hands then, huh?" My character blushes.

Throughout the date I felt legitimately nervous about making a good impression, but Mat isn't a real person – he's a character in a video game called "Dream Daddy."

Photo: Dream Daddy Mat's Dadbook profile.

Its initial 2017 release raised some eyebrows. For once, Steam's globally top-selling video game for much of July wasn't a first-person shooter, nor was it an addictive, colorful puzzle game. "Dream Daddy" is an indie dating simulator laid out in the style of a visual novel. Your character, a fully customizable hot dad with an 18-year-old daughter named Amanda, moves into a cul-de-sac with other hot dads. The goal is to win the digital affection of your favorite one.

As suggestive as the title "Dream Daddy" might be, it's not all about sex. "How dirty does this get?" one gamer predictably asked on a Steam community forum on the game's release date.

The answer was a resounding, "It doesn't."

The secret to this successful dating simulator just might have to do with the fact that it focuses on being heartfelt rather than horny. It's a surprisingly relatable game, which has resulted in such mainstream popularity that a new version was released for the Nintendo Switch last month. There's also a spin-off comic book series. Plus, the synthy theme song written by Culver City-based electronic musician Baths ended up as one of Pitchfork's top songs of the year. The game, and song, even grabbed the attention of rapper Danny Brown, who got the theme song stuck in his head while live streaming on Twitch ("I been singing it all day," he tweeted.)

Photo: Dream Daddy Game On my first date with Mat at a concert, I lose him in the crowd....

WHAT TYPE OF DREAM IS THIS?

Later on in my date with Cool Dad Mat, we head into a tiny diner with a cute neon sign and tear into some bacon and eggs. We trade stories about our daughters, and get onto the subject of how rough – and lonely – being a single dad can be. While the real me, a 24-year-old woman with no kids, doesn't understand what this might feel like, it triggers some of my own old memories of late night heart-to-hearts with friends.

The first step in this weirdly sentimental journey is building your dad character. Should your dad have a hairy chest? Ripped abs? A handlebar mustache? Big, bulging eyes?

Once you get past those tough decisions, pop-up text windows guide your character through dialogue prompts, and also describe the place and situation. What you choose to say determines how other characters will perceive you, and how close of a relationship can be built.

Saying something another character likes will cause them to swoon, with animated hearts and eggplant emojis exploding in the background. But if what you say doesn't impress them, angry dark clouds will appear. The end of each date shows how many "daddy points" you've racked up and presents you with a grade, informing you on whether you've successfully wooed another dad.

No pressure, right?



But not all of the game is centered around flirtatious interaction. Much of "Dream Daddy" provides a refreshing take on male bonding, and several of its emotionally touching moments also have to do with trying to be a good father. Your character spends a lot of time with his daughter, Amanda, as she deals with high school drama and gets ready to head off to college.

I grew to love ruffling her hair and making corny jokes that embarrassed her. I worried about her when she didn't come home until an hour and a half after her curfew. In one part of the game, I noticed her crying in her room, and couldn't help but sympathize with her and try to think of the right things to say. Other players told me they felt similarly.

"The situation got me thinking about my own home life, which has never been exactly nice at many times and I thought about how I struggled to connect with my own father," says Hollie Miller-Calf, a player from Northamptonshire, United Kingdom.

Photo: Dream Daddy Game Eggplant and heart emojis exploding from a character let you know...

"I remember the two characters proclaiming their familial love for each other, and I thought to myself: 'Is this what fathers are meant to be like?' I ended up crying over it, it was super sappy, but that was when I got super absorbed into the game. I had this weird parental instinct for Amanda, and I really wanted to make her happy."

There's even a moment of a proud dad crying when the other dads say Amanda is a role model for their daughters. That said, your character also has just as much to learn from her, too.

"Amanda," you ask before you go off on your date with Mat, "How do I be cool?"

"Let me put on a pot of coffee first," she replies. "This is gonna be a long night."

Photo: Dream Daddy Game Some of the most heartwarming parts of the game are between your...

BUILD THAT DAD!

Leighton Gray had multiple roles in bringing "Dream Daddy" to life, serving as its co-creator, writer and art director. It all started when she went on a trip to Disneyland with long-time friend and co-creator Vernon Shaw. She made a joke about how they were only there to scope out the hot dads, in reference to the popular @dilfs_of_disneyland Instagram account.

It has over 434,000 followers, and it features – yep, you guessed it – a plethora of conventionally attractive fathers posing with Mickey and strolling down Main Street with their toddlers in tow.

Gray mentioned that she had always toyed with the idea of "making a dating sim where you play as a hot dad, and your goal is to meet and romance other hot dads." The rest of the day was spent tossing around ideas while the pair waited in line for rides. She thought it was just an elaborate joke – neither of them had made a game before – but they decided to pitch the idea anyway.

They reached out to their friends Arin Hanson and Dan Avidan, otherwise known as the Game Grumps. The popular Glendale-based YouTubers loved the idea and provided support throughout the development process.

It wasn't easy. Gray was a full-time art school student in Georgia, while the rest of the team was based in Los Angeles. All of her work was completed remotely over lengthy, daily Skype calls.

"I would camp out at a nearby Starbucks — because my apartment had awful WiFi — for eight hours or so, whispering about dad butt in the corner," Gray said.

That's not to mention the steep learning curve – handling both artistic direction and the story is something Gray recalls as "pretty grueling." While they had a sizable art team to work with, the narrative design elements were foreign to her.

"I think people assume that dating sims are easy to make, but actually, they are not," Gray said.

Photo: Courtesy Of Leighton Gray Tyler Hutchison (the director/lead developer of Dream Daddy) poses...

Initial reactions to the project were varied. While most would offer a quick laugh and a subject change, others expressed genuine disbelief or total confusion. As "Dream Daddy" eventually came together, it was a huge relief for Gray to have video game playtesters and sensitivity readers provide highly positive feedback.

"It was really heartening after months of people (especially my own dad) being weirded out by the concept," she said.

Now, Gray attributes the game's success to its accessibility. She explained that dating sims traditionally have a low barrier to entry for people who "aren't necessarily hardcore gamers." She also points toward other successful games like dark fantasy RPG "Dragon Age" and sci-fi third-person shooter "Mass Effect." She says they have proven people want to be engrossed in narratives where they can customize their characters and make story choices in regards to love interests.

Gray herself is personally most invested in Robert. "He's my personal insert," she said. "Knives, love for cryptids, leather jacket, emotionally unavailable, esoteric film references ... that's my boy."

FINDING ALL TYPES OF LOVE

The game, I learned, appeals to all audiences – whether you want to be a dad, or simply date one. Even more importantly, though, Gray says "Dream Daddy" provides an outlet for queer romance – a historically rare subject in mainstream games.

For Castro neighborhood resident Michael-Vincent D'anella-Mercanti, "Dream Daddy" provided a new perspective. Growing up in a suburban setting, he remembered his own dad getting to know other dads in the neighborhood and going on (platonic) dad dates.

Photo: Dream Daddy Game Brian, although nice, is a more competitive dad.

"The dad space is very masculine and 'Dream Daddy' shows you the other side of it, the vulnerability. I felt like I knew the kind of stuff my dad was probably talking about when he was with his friends," he said. "Not in an inappropriate way, of course."

D'anella-Mercanti also noticed that his dating patterns in the game mimicked his own in real life.

"I like a bad boy, so of course I go directly to Robert," he said. "But there's also the bear guy. What's his name ... Brian? I forget guys' names in real life too. Brian's such a good guy, but I always put him on the backburner. He would treat me right, but I can't help but choose Robert."

He also appreciates "Dream Daddy" for its nostalgic mini-games that can be played on dates. With Brian, players get to compete in a mini golf game reminiscent of "Fuzzy's World of Miniature Space Golf." Earlier in the game, players also must take part in a brag-off about their daughter with him, which is undoubtedly designed to look like an early version of a Pokémon battle on Gameboy Color.

Photo: Dream Daddy Game Robert the Bad Boy... Dad?

D'anella-Mercanti finds these subtle allusions to older video games, combined with a unique storyline with multiple possible endings, to be the driving factors in what makes the game so successful.

"Audiences are craving these unique experiences, that they can be a part of as opposed to yet another remake or sequel – you see it in other mediums like film and TV," he said.

"Don't get me wrong. Pokémon Sword and Shield are everything to me," he said. "But I think 'Dream Daddy' did a great job at telling a unique, new story, which made room for queer protagonists in the traditionally heteronormative space of video games."

Amanda Bartlett is an SFGate editorial assistant. Email: amanda.bartlett@sfchronicle.com