OTTAWA – With tomorrow’s federal election looming, the nation’s friends, co-workers, and family members are going head-to-head with passionate opinions based on absolutely zero research or fact.

“Everyone should be voting Liberal, Trudeau is the only candidate with a strong stance on climate change and indigenous rights,” said Emily Miller, a well-intentioned but woefully ignorant voter.

Miller is of course, not alone in her passionate ignorance. She is joined by scores of people claiming such fallacies as: Scheer being a strong LGBTQ2+ ally; and the late John A. Mcdonald’s plan to exhume himself from the grave and resume leadership.

“Everyone’s saying ‘Singh this and Trudeau that’ but I just don’t understand why we’re not considering Elizabeth Warren as a serious option?” said Sierra Burton to a room of co-workers with the same level of ignorance.

The lack of research on the part of Canadian voters is especially evident at family dinners, where uncles and nieces, fathers and sons, and mothers and grandmothers, can be heard loudly spewing non-sequiturs at each other over lemon meringue, both hoping the other won’t have the actual facts to refute their nonsense.

“Look, I don’t vote for parties I vote for leaders and Jack Layton is the one for me,” claimed Jeff Steele, who evidently has not engaged with the outside world in 8-9 years.

Of course, even the shallowest of google searches could put an end to the angry political illiteracy that plagues are nation but the majority of Canadian voters are steadfast in their commitment to never, ever properly researching a candidate. But that won’t stop them from engaging in loud debates without a single fact-based opinion in their arsenal.

At press time, Miller stated definitively that “the Liberals have my vote so long as Trudeau doesn’t do something crazy like brownface.”