Chapter Text

[Black]

[ OST: Beautiful Days ]

Hope's Peak is one of those fancy school you hear about on the news all the time for one reason or another.

Right around just before school begins every year it becomes the center of attention as the 'Ultimate' talented students are announced.

Well, for normal kids, there's only one hope for getting into such an amazing school.

The Lucky Lottery.

Every year, Hope's Peak accepts only one average student from the thousands who apply.

Well... that's usually the case.

This year, there was a bit of a mix-up. After the first name was selected, another name was pulled.

That sure sent the media into a frenzy. The perfect school had actually messed something up.

But, of course, it was settled in a matter of days.

The Lucky Student would be the first student whose name was selected out of the thousands.

As for the second student...

Well, I guess you could say I was surprised to find a letter in my mailbox the same day...

...but that wouldn't really make me the Ultimate Cheater now would it?

[Close up on image of Hope's Peak Academy]

[The image slowly zooms out to show a boy with green hair staring at the building]

Other than an interest in exploiting loopholes, I'm nothing special - yet here I am.

Takeshi Akiyama, the Ultimate Cheater.

The letter was so cryptic, I'm not even sure they caught onto the little stunt I pulled at the lottery...

...but given my title, I'm inclined to think they did.

Maybe I impressed someone?

Thinking I’d just find out eventually, I took my first step towards the front doors, ready to start a new school life insi-

The second I took a step towards the building, I found the concrete rushing up to meet me.

[Black]

*Thud*

[ OST: None ]







Dangan Ronpa: A Beautifully Despairing Adventure

Prologue: The House on the Hill







[ OST: Beautiful Ruin (Summer Salt) ]

[Black]

???: -old you, just fucking leave him there.

??? [Concerned]: But Master…

??? [Irritated]: What did I just say?

Takeshi: I'm up… I'm up… stop shouting…

??? [Relieved]: Oh thank goodness.

???: Fucking perfect. Now we gotta explain this shit again.

[Fade in to Takeshi sitting in the middle of a long hallway. Several doors line both sides, each with an odd pixelated picture of a person on the door.]

Where the fuck am I?

...That's right… Hope's Peak…

Great. I passed out on the first day. Don't I feel stupid.

I don't remember any hallways like this on the pamphlet though…

??? [Impatient]: Hey, jackass! You still there?

[Two figures stand several feet away. The boy has short white hair and stands with his arms crossed. Hanging from his belt is what seems to be a sword inside a sheath. Next to him stands a shorter girl with long, wavy lavender hair in maid attire smiling softly.]

Girl: Are you feeling alright, sir?

Takeshi [Grunting as he stands up]: Yeah, I'm fine.

Girl: [Smiling]: That's good to hear, sir. Do you perhaps need anything?

Boy: [Angry]: Hey! Izumi!

We're only telling him what's going on. You're not fetching coffee for every idiot we find on the floor.

Well, I can tell I'm not gonna like this guy.

...A cup of coffee would be nice though.

Girl [Apologetic]: Of course Master, my apologies.

[Bowing] My name is Izumi Makioka, and I am the Ultimate Maid. It is a pleasure to meet you.

[ Izumi Makioka: Ultimate Maid ]

Takeshi: Nice to meet you. Takeshi Akiyama.

Izumi [Smiling]: I'm glad you're alright Mr. Akiyama.

Boy [Impatient]: Sure, take your fucking time…

[Arrogant] If you really need to know... my name is Yutaka Hayashi.

[ Yutaka Hayashi: Ultimate Fencer ]

Yutaka Hayashi. Now that's a big name if I've ever heard one.

Not only has he gone undefeated in all his matches, he hasn't been touched once by any his opponents.

His family's not too shabby either. His dad owns a chain of high-class hotels so they're pretty well-off.

Yutaka [Sighing]: Get on with it already, Izumi…

Izumi [Apologetic]: Of course, Master.

[Serious] Mr. Akiyama, are you perhaps a student at Hope's Peak as well?

Takeshi: Uh, yeah… I'm the Ultimate Cheater.

Yutaka [Amused]: That's the talent they gave you? Pitiful.

Takeshi: What are you getting at?

Yutaka [Irritated]: Exactly what you think I am.

Izumi: Ah, um… Mr. Akiyama, it appears as if we're all in the same situation.

In total, there are eighteen of us here all from Hope's Peak.

All of us passed out after arriving and awoke here instead.

Takeshi: Exactly where is here?

Izumi [Frowning]: I'm afraid none of us seem to know.

But it appears as if this is not Hope's Peak.

I guess that makes sense.

This doesn't seem like the kind of hallway you'd see in a high school.

It looks more like one from some kind of hotel or something.

Yutaka [Impatient]: Izumi…

Izumi [Smiling]: I do apologize, Mr. Akiyama, but we are going to continue looking throughout the building.

Perhaps you should go search for the others? I'm sure they're around here somewhere.

Yutaka [Angry]: Izumi!

Izumi [Nervous]: ...Coming, Master.

They're gone…

Something tells me I should keep an eye on those two.

I guess I should look around...

[ OST: Re:Beautiful Morning ]

[Examine Door]

*Click Click*

Well... it's locked.

[Examine Name Plate]

What's with these pixelated pictures?

This one sorta looks like that Yutaka asshole.

...I guess that's it for this hallway. Nothing much to see since the doors are locked.

[Examine End of Hallway]

[Just past the end of the hallways sits a pair of staircases, each twisting down to a wide open hallway. Down the stairs sit several fancy looking couches and chairs. The walls behind the staircases are lined with what seem to be expensive paintings in large frames. At the end of the hallway is a massive pair of double doors that appear to be bolted shut with massive bolts.]

How big is this damn place?

This is just one room? It's practically the size of my house!

Not to mention, most of this stuff looks really expensive. Who the hell has the money for something like this?

[Inside are two other students. The first, a boy in a dark brown suit, glances over from the door. The other, a girl with short red hair, sits in one of the chairs, reading a book.]

Boy [Bored]: Looks like Yutaka and Izumi found another one upstairs.

Girl [Amused]: Another? How interesting.

Suzume Tachibana. Of course, I do have several other nicknames.

I don't think I've heard of her anywhere.

Two more… Izumi said there were eighteen of us here.

So other than these two, I still have thirteen others to find.

Suzume [Smiling]: Are you going to introduce yourself or just stand there?

Takeshi: Sorry. I'm Takeshi Akiyama.

Suzume [Thinking]: Hmm… I don't believe I've heard of you.

[Smiling] Regardless, it's nice to meet you, Takeshi.

Takeshi: Yeah, you too.

Uh... so, what exactly is your talent?

Suzume [Amused]: Oh? So you don't know.

[Dismissive] I suppose my specialty would be handling dead bodies.

...What?

Did she just say dead bodies?

Suzume [Amused]: Don't worry yourself too much.

I'm the Ultimate Mortician.

[ Suzume Tachibana: Ultimate Mortician ]

Takeshi: You could have said that earlier.

Suzume [Laughing]: Oh, but you wouldn't have such an enjoyable face if I did.

[Smiling] Still, this is quite an interesting experience.

Takeshi: Why do you say that?

Suzume [Stoic]: I don't believe I've ever been kidnapped before.

Takeshi: Wha-? K-Kidnapped?

Suzume [Amused]: Oh? Is that not what you thought?

[Thinking] All of us falling unconscious at the same time...

Then waking up in a strange place, locked in with no escape...

It's like one of the mystery novels I read.

Takeshi: Wait… so that happened to all of us?

Suzume [Smiling]: Indeed.

Forgive me for cutting our conversation short, Takeshi, but there's something I'd like to examine.

Takeshi: Alright… Thanks for the information.

Suzume: Anytime.

She's a bit morbid.

I guess that probably comes with being a Mortician.

Now... I guess I should look around here a bit more.

[Examine Paintings]

These look really expensive…

I wonder who painted them?

[Examine Furniture]

Everything in this room looks like it costs a lot of money.

Where the hell are we?

[Examine Doors]

Yeah… there's no way I'm getting these opened…

Boy [Bored]: Don't bother… a brute came by earlier and they didn't budge.

I doubt someone as skinny as you could open it.

Takeshi: Really?

He seems like he's tired of this situation already.

I wonder what his deal is?

Boy [Sighing]: Alright then, let's get this over with.

[Annoyed] I'm Fumio Fukui. Also known as the Ultimate Assistant.

[ Fumio Fukui: Ultimate Assistant ]

He sounded pretty annoyed that he had to introduce himself.

But I think I've heard of him somewhere…

I think he was the assistant to a big politician last year.

Takeshi: You were the assistant to that politician, right? Uh… what was his name…

Fumio [Staring at the ground]: Kobayashi…

[Indifferent] So you do know who I am, then.

That's better than most of the people here.

Can I ask for your name?

Takeshi: Yeah, sorry about that. My name's Takeshi Akiyama.

I'm the Ultimate Cheater.

Fumio [Interested]: Really? The Ultimate Cheater?

I had no idea such a talent could exist.

Takeshi: I know it's a bit odd...

But it's still my talent, so don't go talking shit about it, alright?

Fumio [Indifferent]: I didn't plan to.

If you need any assistance with anything, please don't hesitate to ask.

I am the Ultimate Assistant after all.

Takeshi: I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.

Well, he seems nice enough.

Maybe a bit indifferent, but that's probably because of where we are.

Still, I'll be sure to remember his offer for help.

[Examine Windows]

It doesn't look like they're actually locked...

Except there's still those bars on the other side.

Even if we broke the windows, we'd still be stuck here.

[Examine Room]

I think I've seen everything in here.

Looks like there's doors at both ends of the room.

Guess I'll check this side first.

[Examine Black Doors]

[Inside is a long room with a single long table on the inside. Eighteen plates are setup in front of eighteen chairs. Similar to the Entrance Hall, everything looks expensive inside. A large chandelier hangs from the ceiling as well.)

[ OST: Miss. Monomi’s Practice Lesson ]

??? [Furious]: STAND STILL, YOU LITTLE SHIT!

??? [Amused]: Oh dear… Mr. Hiroshige, could you please calm down for a moment?

Whoa! What the hell's going on in here?

[A rather tall red-haired boy is currently chasing around a smaller boy, carrying a large wooden bench from the corner of the room over his head. The smaller boy in the lab coat and pajamas is currently hiding behind one of the chairs.]

Lab Coat Boy [Chuckling]: Ah, a savior! Would you be so kind as to hold him off for a second?

And he's gone… what the hell is going on?

Oh shit. That big guy's coming over here now.

I think I know who Fumio meant by 'brute'...

Bench Boy [Angry]: Where the fuck did he go?

Takeshi: I- uh… I don't know!

Bench Boy [Sighing]: He's a slippery little shit…

[Shocked] Oh sorry, I didn't mean to scare ya.

Takeshi: It's… alright.

I'm not going to say anything else.

He just might kill me.

Bench Boy [Crossed Arms]: So who're you?

Ah, right. Introduce yourself first. That's right.

[Grinning] The name's Hiroshige Kojiro!

I may not look like it, but I'm the Ultimate Babysitter.

[ Hiroshige Kojiro: Ultimate Babysitter ]







Did I hear that right?

This giant is a babysitter?

There's no way that's right.







Takeshi: B-Babysitter?

Hiroshige [Confused]: Yeah I just said that didn't I?

[Leaning Forward] Ya got shit in your ears or something?

Takeshi: Ah. No, sorry.

A-anyways, I'm Takeshi Akiyama. The Ultimate C-cheater.

Hiroshige [Grinning]: Takeshi, huh? Nice name!

So whatcha cheat at? Video games? The lottery? Hm?

Takeshi: Something like that…

Hiroshige [Crossed Arms]: Well, it was nice talkin' ta ya, Takeshi.

[Excited Grin] But I gotta go kick that little shit's ass right now.

And he ran off… with the bench.

Some of the people here are crazy…

Wait. The other guy's back now.

Guess he gave him the slip.

Lab Coat Boy [Relieved]: Thank you for your assistance, Mr…

[Intrigued] Hmm. I don't believe we've met yet, actually.

Takeshi: No. I just woke up.

My name's Takeshi Akiyama.

Lab Coat Boy [Thinking]: Ah, so that makes eighteen?

[Amused] Regardless, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Takeshi.

My name is Shiro Takahara. I would be the Ultimate Chemist.

[ Shiro Takahara: Ultimate Chemist ]

Takeshi: So, you're a chemist? That makes sense.

But… what's with the pajamas?

Shiro [Grinning]: I like to be comfortable all the time.

I even wear these while I work.

Takeshi: Really? Don't chemists have strict safety codes or something?

Shiro [Amused]: They do.

But I don't particularly care for them.

[Thinking]: Even when I follow them, things tend to explode.

Takeshi: I see…

Shiro [Shocked] Ah. I am quite sorry Mr. Takeshi.

I believe I hear Mr. Hiroshige in the other room, and I'd rather not stick around.

Takeshi: It's fine.

Shiro [Nodding]: I'm glad to have met you, Mr. Takeshi.

I hope we can talk again.

Takeshi: Sure…

Another crazy one. I wonder if there's any normal people here…

Guess I'll look around a bit.

[ OST: Re:Beautiful Morning ]

[Examine Chandelier]

That thing is huge.

I can't even imagine how much it cost.

[Examine Table]

Eighteen seats. Eighteen plates. Eighteen of us.

Looks like whoever brought us here plans on keeping us here.

[Examine Wooden Doors]

Another set of doors?

I wonder where these lead.

[Inside was an outrageously big kitchen. Three massive refrigerators lined one wall while a single pantry took up the entire other wall except for the spot a lone window sat, covered in bars just like the entrance. The rest of the room was covered in random cabinets or sinks. A large island took up the center of the room. On it sat a single coffee maker which wasn't even plugged in.]

A kitchen, huh? Should have expected that.

Looks like there's two more people in here.

Better introduce myself...

[Across the kitchen, a blond boy in a brown dress shirt and green coat was shifting through the pantry. A girl with curly red hair wearing a light blue vest sat on the counter, absentmindedly playing with her hair.]







The boy hasn't even noticed me.

Guess I'll talk to her first.

[Talk to Curly Haired Girl]

Takeshi: Excuse me-

Curly Haired Girl [Glancing Away]: It's going to rain…

Takeshi: What?

She's looking out the window.

Weird I don't see anything.

Curly Haired Girl [Frowning]: Do you need something?

Or are you just here to bother me like this idiot is?

Takeshi: Uh. No I'm just here to introduce myself.

Great. She seems like she'll be a pain in the ass.

Curly Haired Girl [Crossed Arms]: Well? Get on with it then.

[Annoyed] I don't have all day.

Takeshi: I'm Takeshi Akiyama, the Ultimate Cheater.

Curly Haired Girl [Sighing]: Wow. Nice to meet you.

Now are we done?

Takeshi: ...Aren't you going to --

Curly Haired Girl [Shouting]: Alright! Fine.

[Annoyed] Since you want to know so bad I'm Rin Yukimura.

I guess you can say I'm the Ultimate Meteorologist.

[ Rin Yukimura: Ultimate Meteorologist ]







Meteorologist?

So she's basically the Ultimate Weather Girl?

Rin [Shouting]: I know what you're thinking!

I am no weather girl!

Takeshi: Eh? How did you-

Rin [Annoyed]: Typical.

That's what everyone thinks when they hear that.

Listen, buddy. I may predict the weather, but I'm not a weather girl.

Yeah, that's right.

Rin Yukimura. She's one of those internet-grown stars that jumped in popularity.







Apparently she's so good, she's never missed a single prediction.

I heard a few news companies wanted to hire her, but she turned them down.

She's been posting her predictions on the internet since she started.

Rin [Frowning]: Are you just gonna stare at me or are we done?

I better not get on her bad side...

She seems as bad as Hiroshige.

Takeshi: Yeah. Sorry.

Nice to meet you.

Rin [Glancing Away]: Whatever.

I guess now I'll talk to the other guy over there.

*Pitter-Patter*

Hm? Is it raining?

Guess she really is the Ultimate Weather Girl.

[Talk to Pantry Boy]

Takeshi: Uh… hello?

Pantry Boy [Shocked]: Huh? Oh sh-shit!

*THUD*

He fell in…

Is he alright?

Pantry Boy [Embarrassed]: Dammit not again…

Takeshi: Are you alright?

Pantry Boy [Scratching Head]: Ah, yeah, I'm fine.

[Smiling]: I don't think I've seen you around here yet.

My name's Matsuda Renji. According to Hope's Peak, I'm the Ultimate Rookie.

[ Matsuda Renji: Ultimate Rookie ]

Takeshi: Ultimate Rookie?

Matsuda [Laughing Nervously]: Yeah…

I'm not really sure what it means either.

Honestly, I'm not really good at anything.

Takeshi: Well you must be good at something, or you wouldn't be here.

Matsuda [Thinking]: Huh, good point.

Thanks, uh…

Takeshi: Sorry, Takeshi. Takeshi Akiyama.

Matsuda [Smiling]: Right. Takeshi.

I'll remember that one.

I guess he seems nice.

Maybe a bit of an idiot though.

Matsuda [Thinking]: Oh yeah, Takeshi?

[Looking Away]: What was going on in the other room before?

I heard a lot of loud banging.

Takeshi: Well the big guy… Hiroshige… he was chasing the chemist.

Matsuda [Shocked]: R-Really?

[Nervous]: Oh jeez… I better stop him. He already gave someone else a black eye.

Uh, I'll see you later.

So everyone here is crazy.

I guess I should have expected that.

[Examine Pantry]

Everything's scattered from Matsuda falling in.

...I'm sure someone else will clean it.

[Examine Window]

It's raining really hard outside now.

[Examine Cabinets]

Wow. Everything you'd need to cook is in here.

Plus, there's extra plates and everything.

[Examine Refrigerator]

These things are massive.

I wonder what's inside.







*Click Click*

They're locked. Great, another mystery.

Looks like that's everything here.

Might as well head back to the Entrance Hall.

[Exit Kitchen?]

[ Yes ]

[Dining Hall]

[Exit Dining Hall?]

[ Yes ]

[Entrance Hall]

Huh? There's someone else in here now.

Fumio's run off somewhere too now.

Guess I should talk to her.

[A very short girl with auburn hair in a pink blouse is staring out the window, facing away from the rest of the room.]







[Talk to Short Girl]

Takeshi: Hey there?

Short Girl [Startled]: Ahh!

She fell...

That’s two in a row. I'm not good at this am I?

Short Girl [Nervous]: Oh… uh I'm sorry…

[Embarrassed] You startled me there.

Takeshi: Don't be, that was my fault.

Short Girl [Nervous Smile]: Ah. You're the person Fumio was talking about.

[Confused] You don't seem too boring.

Takeshi: Fumio said that?

Well there's another one I managed to piss off somehow.

Short Girl [Smiling]: Don't worry about it, Takeshi.

Takeshi: You know who I am?

Short Girl [Nervous Smile]: I may have done a little extra research on everyone.

I was a bit nervous a few days ago... so I looked everyone up.

Takeshi: I thought they didn't publish anything about me?

Short Girl [Staring at Ground]: They um… didn't really…

[Nervous] I'm just good with computers.

Takeshi: So what are you the Ultimate Hacker or something?

Short Girl [Shocked]: No no! Nothing like that!

[Shy] I'm just the Ultimate Arborist.

Ah. That's right. My name is Naoki Kimura.

[ Naoki Kimura: Ultimate Arborist ]

Takeshi: Arborist? Like... as in trees?

Naoki [Shy]: Yes?

Trees? Really?

Hope's Peak's taking in a lot of weird talents this year.

I just might be the weirdest of them all.

Naoki [Smiling]: Hey Takeshi? Can I ask a favor?

Takeshi: Uh sure… I don't know if I'll be able to help...

Naoki [Thinking]: If you find a girl named Mashiro somewhere.

Tell her I'm looking for her, okay?

Takeshi: Sure. Any idea where she is?

Naoki [Looking Down]: No… I sorta lost her somewhere.

[Frowning] I know this place isn't too big, but…

Takeshi: Don't worry about it.

I'll see if I can find her.

Naoki [Excited]: R-Really?

Takeshi: Yeah. I'll let you know if I spot her anywhere.

Naoki [Smiling]: Thank you so much!

She seems really nice.

I wonder why her talent isn't hacking or anything.

[Examine Red Doors]

Huh, another hallway.

Looks like there's four more rooms here.

...Wait, what's that at the end of the hall?

[A large metal door sits at the end of the hallway, bolted shut similar to the door, however there's a keyhole in the middle. A girl with dark purple hair is standing in front, examining the lock.]

Purple Haired Girl [Focused]: I'm sorry, but could we talk later?

[ OST: Re: Mr. Monokuma After Class ]

Takeshi: Huh?

Purple Haired Girl [Indifferent]: Busy right now.

She sounds pretty mad.

I better just introduce myself quick.

Takeshi: Ah, sorry. I just wanted to introduce myself.

I'm Takeshi Akiyama. The Ultimate Cheater.

Purple Haired Girl [Interested]: Cheater? Not in my class.

[Glaring] Listen here, Takeshi. If I catch you cheating, I'll make sure Hope's Peak throws you out!

Takeshi: W-What?

Purple Haired Girl [Frowning]: I am Katsumi Tsukino. The Ultimate Class President.

If you think you're getting away with shady behavior, think again!

[ Katsumi Tsukino: Ultimate Class President]

Class President?

That's right. I remember her now.

They say she's a demon when it comes to following the rules.







Apparently she managed to completely tame an entire school of delinquents in a week.

Takeshi: Ah, of course.

I'll try not to.

Katsumi [Frowning]: If that's it, please leave me be.

Takeshi: Sure…

Yeah... those rumors were probably right.

[Examine Metal Doors]

Yeah, there's no way I'm getting past this without the key.

What did I expect?

[Examine Gift Shop Doors]

A gift shop?

Are you kidding?

[The inside of the room wasn't too big. It almost seemed like a broom closet. A long desk ran across the wall, with odd items and random things lining the wall above it. On top of the desk sat a small vending machine.]







??? [Annoyed]: Come on already! Take my money!

[A green-haired girl in a sweater vest knelt in front of the machine, pocket change spread across the floor, trying to force the machine to work.]

Sweater Vest Girl [Sighing]: Stupid machine.

[Surprised] Oh? Tryin' to sneak up on me?

Takeshi: Uh no. Sorry, I didn't think anyone was in here.

Whoa… she's a lot taller than she looks.

Sweater Vest Girl [Grinning]: Well that's fine.

Nice to meet you! My name's Yukiko Nagata.

I'm the Ultimate Lucky Student you probably heard about.

[ Yukiko Nagata: Ultimate Lucky Student ]

Well, this is someone I really didn't want to meet...

I can't imagine she'll be happy if she finds out what I did.

Takeshi: Oh yeah… I heard about you.

Apparently some weird stuff happened that night.

Yukiko [Frowning]: Yeah. Some loser tried to fix the ballet.

[Frustrated] What an asshole...

[Smiling] So who're you? I thought I met everyone already.

Takeshi: I just woke up a little while ago.

I'm Takeshi Akiyama.

Yukiko [Thinking]: Akiyama, huh? I think I heard that somewhere.

Takeshi: You might have.

I'm not as popular as some of the others, so I'd understand if you didn't.

Yukiko [Surprised]: Wait a second.

[Angry] Akiyama! That's the name of that idiot who rigged the ballots!

Takeshi: Oh, uh, yeah… funny story about that...

Uh, Yukiko… maybe you should... calm down?

She's gonna kill me.

I at least thought it would have been Hiroshige.

Yukiko [Furious]: You asshole!!

Takeshi: Wai-

*THUD*

[ OST: None ]

[Black]

??? [Concerned]: You alright there?

Can you hear me? Not dead yet? Hellllooooooooo?

[ OST: Homicide ]

Ugh now what?

Did I get knocked out again.



… Oh yeah. I got punched by a girl. I'll never live this down.

??? [Amused]: Hey there? You playing dead or something?

[Mischievous] Oh, I have an idea!

Who the hell is talking so loud?

Hm?







Did something just hit me in the face?

When I finally opened my eyes…

I saw quite an unexpected sight.

I never expected to wake up to a girl with sea green hair leaning over me, waving her chest in my face.

Takeshi: Ah! What the hell!?!

??? [Feigning Shock]: Oh, my!

Someone help! A pervert has attacked an innocent girl!

Takeshi: What the hell are you doing?

??? [Innocent]: Oh, me? Nothing much.

I was just waking you up since nothing else was working.

Takeshi: That's... You don't just do that to someone!

??? [Mocking]: Aww? Did somebody wake up on the wrong side of the floor?

What's got you down, Mr. Frown?

Takeshi: N-nothing... I'm fine.

??? [Amused] Oh, yeah?

[Mischievous] I wonder if the others would be interested in you getting knocked out by a girl.

Takeshi: ...So, you saw that.

??? [Hysterical Laughing]: Oh yeah! It was great!

A One-Hit K.O.!

[Grinning] So what's your name, Mr. Frown?

Takeshi: It's… Takeshi Akiyama.

??? [Excited]: Well Takeshi. I think we're gonna be great friends!

My name's Emiko Kagome! But please, call me Emi!

[Winking] Only my close friends call me Emi!

Takeshi: Alright… Emi.

So what's your talent?

Emiko [Grinning]: I'm the Ultimate Matchmaker!

If you're lucky, I just might find you a lady friend in here!

[ Emiko Kagome: Ultimate Matchmaker ]

Emiko [Amused]: So whatcha doing, Takeshi?

Aside from getting beat up by girls.

Takeshi: Well, I was introducing myself to everyone.

Emiko [Interested]: Oh? Who have you met so far.

Takeshi: Well aside from you there’s… eleven people I’ve met so far.

Emiko [Feigning Shock]: I’m number twelve? I feel insulted Takeshi.

How could you wait so long to meet me?

Takeshi: It kinda just happened that way...

Oh shit.

Hey, Emi? Have you seen a girl named Mashiro around here?

Emiko [Confused]: Mashiro? Last I saw of her was in the laundry room...

Takeshi: The laundry room? Alright, I'll check it out.

Thanks.

Emiko [Excited]: Anytime, Takeshi! Let me know if there's any ladies you like!

I'll try to find you a match!

[Exit Gift Shop?]

[ Yes ]

[Outer Hall]

Katsumi's gone...

Guess the laundry room is the next one over.

[Examine Laundry Room Door]

[Inside the Laundry Room wasn't anything special when compared to the rest of the building. The left side of the room was lined with washing machines while the right, dryers. The middle of the room held a large table that was surrounded by several folding chairs while an odd black and white vending machine sat in the back of the room. Magazines were scattered around the room, while an empty rack sat in the corner.]

What the hell happened in here?

Actually… I think I might have an idea.

[A blonde haired girl in a light blue raincoat was currently sitting atop one of the dryers, reading a magazine, while a black haired boy in a brown coat cleaned the mess.]

Takeshi: What's going on?

Raincoat Girl [Surprised]: Hey! Another newbie!

[Smiling] You having fun?

[ OST: Miss. Monomi’s Practice Lesson ]

Takeshi: Fun?

Raincoat Girl [Staring at Ceiling]: I guess not, huh? Well, I mean, it is sooooo boring in here.

[Bored] I wish there was a mountain to climb, or something.

Mountain?

She's talking way too fast for me.

Takeshi: A mountain?

Raincoat Girl [Confused]: Yeah? You know those pointy things in those paintings?

In the background of the ones in the front hall?

Takeshi: ...I know what mountains are, but… why would there be one indoors?

Raincoat Girl [Dismissive]: Details, details.

So, what's your name, stranger?

It's nothing crazy, right?

Takeshi: It's just Takeshi Akiyama.

Raincoat Girl [Excited]: Oh, that's an easy one!

I thought you'd have a really long name like that big guy… Hiro!

[Proud] Well, I'm Haruka Inoue! The Ultimate Traveler!

Name a place and I've been there!

[ Haruka Inoue: Ultimate Traveler ]

Takeshi: Really? Anywhere?

Haruka [Depressed]: Well, not really…

I was supposed to be heading to South America while we were on break, but… who knows where we are...

[Excited] This could be some kind of unexplored area.

Maybe we're on a different planet!

Takeshi: I highly doubt that…

Haruka [Snapping her Fingers]: You're probably right.

I doubt aliens have this type of architecture.

Not futuristic enough!

Or maybe they're trying to deceive us...

Takeshi: Aliens, huh…

This girl has her head way too high in the clouds.

Haruka [Excited]: Hey Takeshi?

Have you met Keiji yet? I think you'll like him!

Keiji's got to be my favorite here! No offense, Takeshi.

Takeshi: No, I haven't got to meet him yet.

I'll go introduce myself. I'll see you later, Haruka.

Haruka [Grinning]: Sure! Have fun!

[Deadpan] Watch out for probes.

[Examine Machines]

Nine on washers on the left, nine dryers on the right.

Enough for half of us to do it at once.

That's a weird coincidence.

[Examine Strange Vending Machine]

What the hell is this thing?

Looks like a normal vending machine, but…

Wait... I've seen something like this before

[Cut to image of Yukiko trying to force her change into the machine in the gift shop]

That's right… What are these things?

They don't take real money...

[Examine Mess]

I can't tell if it was like that before, or if Haruka had her way with them.

[Talk to Brown Haired Boy]

Takeshi: Keiji, I presume?

Keiji [Nervous Smile]: So you met Haruka?

[Embarrassed] I'm not as great as she makes me out to be.

Takeshi: Don't worry about it.

I'm sure you're alright. I'm Takeshi Akiyama.

Keiji [Grinning]: Keiji. Keiji Kurosawa. I'm the Ultimate Mythologist.

[Thinking] Well, you might have heard of me for my collection of myths?

[ Keiji Kurosawa: Ultimate Mythologist ]

Takeshi: Ah… no, sorry. I don't really read too often.

Keiji [Surprised]: Really? You don't?

I'll have to recommend you something sometime. Novels are a great way to go on an adventure.

Takeshi: Maybe another time.

Keiji [Staring away] Perhaps I'll take you along next time I find an adventure.

Takeshi: ...Wait, what adventure?

Keiji [Excited]: That rush of excitement as you experience a new thing!

I wonder if we'll be able to experience that here at some point.

Oh, now I'm getting excited just thinking about it!

Takeshi: Right...

Hey, have you guys seen a girl named Mashiro in here?

Keiji: [Thinking] Miss Mashiro? Well she was really quiet, so I didn't notice until now...

...but she must have left a while ago.

Takeshi: Really? Shit. Now where did she run off too.

Keiji [Concerned]: Do you need some help?

I'm sure Haruka and I could-

Takeshi: No, I think I'm alright.

Thanks anyways, though.

Keiji [Nodding]: Well, if you need anything, feel free to come ask.

Haruka's looked over the entire building twice.

Takeshi: I'll keep that in mind.

Thanks.

Okay. They're both a bit weird.

Well, Haruka's nuts... but Keiji seems alright, I guess.

Except all that talk of adventure.

I guess I'll just have to check the rest of the rooms.

[ OST: Beautiful Morning ]

[Exit Laundry Room]

[ Yes ]

[Outer Hall]

Only two rooms left…

Guess I'll just work my way back to the entrance.

[Examine Lounge Door]

Whoa…

And I thought the entrance was expensive.

[Inside the next room were a bunch of fancy-looking handcrafted chairs and sofas, enough for everyone. In the corner up a small set of stairs was a giant piano. A large fireplace sat in the middle of the far wall. The rest of the room was covered in glass lamps or random empty picture frames.]







??? [Satisfied]: Interesting room, isn't it?

Takeshi: Huh?

[A boy with gray hair and a black eye stood in the corner of the room, examining one of the picture frames.]

Where did he come from?

Was he hiding behind the door wait for someone to pop in?

Takeshi: Uh… yeah. I'm not sure what's it's for, though…

Grey Boy [Thinking]: The door says it's a lounge.

I would assume that it's somewhere to relax.

Takeshi: I guess that makes sense.

Grey Boy [Holding Notepad]: Can I ask who I'm speaking to?

Takeshi: Uh, sorry. My name's Takeshi Akiyama.

Grey Boy [Writing Notes]: Akiyama, huh… the Cheater.

[Smug] I've heard a lot about you.

Takeshi: You have?

Another one knows me?

Oh, this just gets better. I wonder how I'm gonna get chewed out this time.

...Or is he just gonna punch me, too...

Grey Boy [Chuckling]: Don't worry too much, Takeshi.

Its nothing I didn't expect from the Ultimate Cheater.

Takeshi: Well, that's a relief. I'd rather not hide it.

…I thought you might punch me too.

Grey Boy [Surprised]: Did Hiroshige get you too?

Takeshi: … No, Yukiko.

She’s a lot stronger than she looks.

Grey Boy [Thinking]: I suppose I'll have to have a word with her later.

[Smiling] Anyways, I guess I should introduce myself, huh?

Rokuro Maki, I'm the Ultimate Reporter.

[ Rokuro Maki: Ultimate Reporter ]

Reporter?

The notebook makes sense now.

Takeshi: Reporter? Like for the news?

Rokuro [Smiling]: No, I mainly submit my work on the internet.

But I do frequently get featured on the news.

Takeshi: Yeah, I think I heard of you somewhere.

Rokuro [Indifferent]: No need to lie to me, Takeshi.

Shit... he noticed.

Rokuro [Thinking]: I wouldn't be the Ultimate Reporter if I wasn't able to tell when someone is lying.

Takeshi: Sorry about that.

Rokuro [Smiling]: Don't worry about it.

[Thinking] Have you met everyone yet, Takeshi?

Takeshi: No… I've been looking for some girl named Mashiro for Naoki.

Rokuro [Nodding]: You better get to it, then.

She's in the next room over with a boy named Akihito.

Takeshi: Really? I thought I'd never find her.

Thanks, Rokuro.

Rokuro [Satisfied]: If you need anything else, just ask.

[Examine Fireplace]

Whoa. This thing is huge.

You could fit at least two people in there!

And what's with this giant lock?

[Examine Piano]

I've never seen a piano this big.

...Well, I never really cared for instruments so that's probably why.

Still, it looks really expensive.

[Examine Windows]

Looks like it's barred, just like the other rooms.

How the hell are we supposed to get out of here?

That's everything in here.

[Exit Lounge?]

[ Yes ]

[Outer Hall]

Looks like this is the last room.

After this, I should probably start looking for way out.

[Examine Old Door]

[Another old looking room. Not one inch of the rooms walls wasn't lined with a bookcase. Though most of what sat on the shelves weren't books but random trinkets and objects. Two desks sat in the corner piled high with files and papers.]

[Inside, a boy in a sweatshirt sorts through some of the files, looking extremely confused. A girl with pink hair sits near a large globe, spinning it every now and then.]

??? [Confused]: Oh hey! Can you help me with this for a second?

...Great. Just when I was almost done.

Takeshi: Uh, sure…

What do you need?

Sweatshirt Boy [Scratching Head]: Well I was trying to figure out these files, but none of them make sense.

Takeshi: Hm?

He's right… they're all in another language.

I think this is Russian? Maybe?

Looks more like Moon Runes to me...

...Gah! Haruka's in my head with her alien crap!







Takeshi: I don't have a clue.

I think these are a different language.

Sweatshirt Boy [Staring]: R-Really?

[Frustrated] Ah crap. I've been doing this for like an hour.

Gah... I'm such an idiot.

Takeshi: Don't worry about it.

I probably wouldn't have noticed either.

Sweatshirt Boy [Embarrassed]: You say that, but you're the one who noticed.

[Grinning] Anyways, I'm Akihito Nakamura, the Ultimate Beta Tester.

[ Akihito Nakamura: Ultimate Beta Tester ]

Takeshi: Beta Tester? Like in video games?

Akihito [Sighing]: Well yeah. But not just that.

People send me all kinds of things to test out.

…

It's a weird talent I know. I don't know why I'm here in the first place.

Takeshi: It can't be weirder than mine.

Akihito [Interested]: Really? I don't know about that.

Takeshi: We'll I'm the Ultimate Cheater. Takeshi Akiyama.

Akihito [Concerned]: Cheater? Like with video games or math tests?

Takeshi: Among other things.

Akihito [Relieved]: You're right - that is a weird one.

[Grinning] Guess we can be weird together.

Takeshi: Sure…

Sorry, Akihito, but I better finish up here.

I've got a mission to finish.

Akihito [Nodding]: Well don't let me keep you.

I'll see you later.

[Examine Shelves]

A bunch of junk.

What's this room even for?

[Talk to Pink Haired Girl]

Takeshi: Are you Mashiro?

Pink Haired Girl [Bored]: Mhmm.

She's not very talkative.

Takeshi: I, uh, came to introduce myself.

I'm Takeshi Akiyama.

Now she's just staring at me… great.

Mashiro [Thinking]: Uh-huh.

I'm Mashiro Fujioka. Astronomer.

[ Mashiro Fujioka: Ultimate Astronomer ]

Takeshi: Astronomer, huh? That's an interesting talent.

Mashiro [Unimpressed]: Yeah.

I'm not really getting nothing out of her, am I?

Takeshi: Naoki told me to tell you she was looking for you.

Apparently she lost you somewhere?

Mashiro [Frowning]: So irresponsible…

[Shy] Thanks.

That was a quick one.

I guess she's going to find Naoki.

Still, looks like I've got all of them now.

Guess it’s time to look for that exit.

[ OST: None ]

*Crackle Crackle*

...The hell is that?

???: Mic check! Can everyone hear me?

Good! Looks like the whole mansion's getting this.

Attention, guests! Attention, guests!

Would all of you please make your way to the entrance hall?

Attendance is mandatory! I repeat, attendance is MANDATORY!

All those who fail to attend will be punished as per the rules.

That is all. Thanks for listening!

I quickly glanced over towards Akihito, but he seemed just as lost as I was.

Nothing about that announcement sounded pleasant at all.

Especially the 'punishment' part...

Guess I better head down there, huh?

Oh, I can tell I'm gonna regret this…