By Bill Maher

We’ve said before that privacy is dead, but this story just put two in privacy’s skull, just to be sure.

Makers of a sex toy called the “We-Vibe” are being sued after a user learned that the company was collecting personally identifiable data about when and how she used the toy. Apparently the We-Vibe can be controlled remotely via a smartphone app (like I have to tell you perverts) and, unbeknownst to the user, the toy collects sends the usage data and sends it back to the company, which then uses it for product and market research, as well as a good laugh. “Man, Audrey sure likes the higher power setting, am I right?”

This didn’t sit well with the plaintiff, and for good reason - because every company is susceptible to being hacked. It’s what Russians were born to do. Or if you lost your phone, someone could pop in your SD card and get all sorts of interesting tidbits about what you do with your solo time. And nobody wants their dildo usage data being made public. Well, maybe the Kardashians, because all press is good press, especially when it involves your vagina. But for most normal people, this feels like a bit of an intrusion, and not the fun, vibrating rabbity kind.

It just goes to show that nothing you do — even by yourself, in the privacy of your own home — is really private anymore. And that the Unibomber was kinda right. Also, shame on the makers of this sex toy for making a couple’s dildo play even more awkward than it already is.

This is an outrage. Okay, maybe not an outrage, but it certainly drives home the point. Privacy is dead, and we need to start bringing it back.

No dildos, no peace.