Top 10: Horrible Jobs

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Think your job sucks? You may appreciate it a little more once you read our top 10 list of horrible jobs.

There’s no doubt you’ve worked your share of horrible jobs, but we’ve compiled a list of some of the riskiest, most dangerous, gut-churning jobs around. These horrible jobs meet a combination of all the following requirements: they’re low-paying, they have terrible working conditions and they put workers at a high risk for immediate and/or long-term injury.

If you spot your horrible job here, take a bow — you’re part superhero for living through it. For everyone else, put down any food you might be chewing on and check out what made the list of the top 10 most horrible jobs in existence.



Number 10

Restaurant dishwasher

Number 9

Slime line workers

Number 8

Barnyard masturbator

Called “dish pigs” because they have their hands in human leftovers all day, restaurant dishwashers have a horrible job. They scrub burnt saucepans, dip their fingers into corrosive cleaning solutions, inhale chemical solvents and, worst of all, empty fryer grease into a “grease pit” that smells somewhere between vomit and rotten meat. Dishwashers also work in high-stress conditions with wait staff and cooks putting constant demands on them for everything from cutlery to pans. They can also be easily injured, cutting or nicking themselves with knives, and scalding themselves on hot pans. But Band-Aids and gauze don’t help because they have to plunge their hands right back into dish muck. Of course, this guarantees their infection. So, what do they get for their toil at this horrible job? They don’t clean up at all, making around 17K a year.Slime line workers cut fish open, rip out their guts and throw them down the line in a fish-processing plant. It sounds easy enough, but the conditions are pretty tough. Hillary Clinton once worked this horrible job and said it was the worst she’s ever had (apart from trying to beat Obama). Workers are in a cold plant where they stand all day, ankle-deep in fish blood and guts where they can easily cut themselves. Since their hands are covered in slime, it’s a certainty their cuts will get infected. One of the biggest negatives, however, is the smell. Unless workers date each other, their fishy scent won’t win them many outside admirers. Plus the wage stinks, averaging $9.87 an hour.This might be the funniest job title of all-time and it’s sure to drop jaws when you tell people what you do for a living. The barnyard masturbator, er, masturbates livestock to collect sperm samples . They make their collection in three ways: electroejaculation — they jam an electric probe up a cow’s rectum to buzz its bits ‘til orgasm; artificial vagina — they hold a latex tube over a bull’s Johnson just before it mounts a cow; manually — they do the tried-and-true wrist workout. Apart from the danger this horrible job poses to its workers’ social life, workers regularly get injured from bull kicks. It’s not clear how much they get paid, but they certainly earn every cent.

Be thankful you don’t do any of these horrible jobs…