Yesterday was July 4th, 2017, an American holiday that celebrates their Declaration of Independence, when the Continental Congress cast off British rule like a mildewy shawl, and donned the thick grizzly poncho of freedom.

The USA has a bad rap around the world. An honest conversation abroad about the USA will likely be negative. You’ll receive an earful.

Maybe you agree with some of this. Maybe it pisses you off to hear it.

Either way, it doesn’t matter right now, because yesterday was Independence Day, when even the most anarchistic punk can avail himself of a patriotic fix. Whether that fix involves watching a Bruce Willis movie, eating processed meat and washing it down with light beer from a red plastic cup, watching parades on TV, dodging bottle rockets the asshole neighbor kid is shooting off, or prancing through the humid night clenching two sparklers–it’s all legitimate.

Whether your thoughts of “America” default to the positive or negative, yesterday was the one day out of the year Debbie Downers should endure hearing about the positive stuff.

So here’s some positive stuff about the United States of America. God Bless you.

There’s no official language

Many states have adopted official languages, but it speaks worlds that the United States of America as a whole has no federal official language. A nation of immigrants, after all–where all languages are welcome.

Jazz, Blues and their babies!

Jazz and the Blues were born in the south, moved up north, and gave birth to Rock ‘n Roll, which in turn led to tons of modern musical evolution.

The world knows American cultural icons

American icons are globally-recognizable, which is pretty cool. To hell with the naysayers, let’s dig the fact that Superman is a global symbol flying around saving the little guy and showing folks what a good mid-west country boy’s voice sounds like!

A fabulous road system

The United States has one of the most complex road systems in the world. Blue highways, interstates, local county roads–and in no other country is road culture as deeply-ingrained as in the U.S. Time to hit the road for an epic road trip through national parks and endless corn fields.

Good ole ‘merican grub

Cheeseburger in paradise, world. Jimmy buffet gave it to you straight–Americans like their burgers.

Not to mention that the USA is a web of cuisine–depending on a family’s heritage, you’ll have a completely different gastronomic experience from one family dinner to the next. How do you best gauge what ‘American cuisine’ is like? Visit American families to eat anything from Hungry Man to macaroni casserole!

More craft breweries than anywhere else

Sure, the movies all show pale lager-drinkin’ Americans, but the truth is that the USA has more craft breweries than any other country: over 4000. Second place goes to the UK, with around 750. Good ole America, still givin’ it to the redcoats 200 years on!

Ethnic diversity that spans the spectrum

It doesn’t matter where you’re from or what you look like. Anyone can pass for an American. Try being a tall white guy with long blond hair and pass for Peruvian. It’s a tough pitch.

Happy birthday, USA

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