Have you ever taken a shower? Of course you have — showers are an excellent way to unwind. Have you ever had a beer? Sure you’ve had a beer — beer hits the spot. Now, imagine the two joined together in a blissful matrimony of ice cold alcohol and steaming hot hydration. That’s a good mental image and also a virtually perfect union of tranquilizing elements. So what are you waiting for? Strip down, soap up and start sipping. Go on, you deserve it, friend.

Now, don’t go knocking back an entire six pack in one shower session. What are you trying to prove, champ? I recommend a maximum of two beers; there’s no reason to get crazy. You might slip and break the bottle, or worse — your dignity/sternum. If enjoyed in moderation, however, a beer or two in the shower can turn your physical cleansing into a metaphysical renewal.

Now, bringing the correct beer in the bathtub with you can be a decision as important as whether or not to scrub-a-dub your hairs with a crusty bar of soap you find in the drain or a fragrant, full volume shampoo. Let’s say you bring in a Live Oak Hefeweizen in there with you: Good choice, guy! A delicious hefeweizen is like the Herbal Essence of shower time sud sipping. Not that a Live Oak Hefey is the only path to rejuvenation. After several weeks of trial and error, I discovered a few other beers do the trick besides a trusty hefeweizen. Corona, Shiner Blonde, Rolling Rock, Magic Hat #9 — anything light really — are all welcome enhancements to any bath time. Stay away from heavier, darker beers, though. Showers have the tendency to get hot and you don’t need a Guinness weighing you down while you’re shampooing. Also, don’t even think about a Grade D American pilsner. Keystone? Please. This is supposed to be a rewarding experience.

Let’s discuss technique. I find it a little complicated to soap and sip simultaneously, so you’ll probably have to prioritize. Sip first, soap second, rinse and repeat — that’s the name of the game. Anything else and you’ll get suds in your suds, and who wants that? When you’re not sipping you can set the beer down on that same little shelf or wire rack that you keep your soaps on. How convenient! Or, for the fanatical (which isn‘t a bad thing), a separate beer shelf might be in order. Pick one up at Ikea and keep your secondary beer there until you’re ready for it! Also, the angle of the showerhead is an important factor when you’re in the bath with your brew. Drinking any beverage while a high-pressure surge of water is spraying you in the face is not only difficult, it’s akin to water boarding, and that’s illegal (and dangerous). You’re going to want to adjust the shower head so that the water is aimed closer to your feet, at least while you take a couple swigs. Just make sure that as little water as possible is coming into contact with the beer bottle because that can affect the temperature of the beverage. If you’d rather not have to keep reaching forward to fiddle with the showerhead (which can be tricky to do, depending on the shower head model), feel free to turn your back to the spray.

This trend might seem complicated, but after a few tries you’ll be ready to shower and drink beer with the pros. But not with them, if you don’t want. Prude.