It’s a great place to get creative

Guys! Great stuff, great read-through today. I think this show is really starting to come together. Just a few notes, and then we’d all better head back to our assigned shelters. It’s nearly curfew, and the Safety Committee Enforcers have been really aggressive lately. I found an unopened package of pencils in the university ruins while scavenging, if anyone needs something to take these notes down. Please remember not to use the eraser though, as the Resource Committee has requisitioned all rubber and we have to donate it!

First up, Thad, I love that rewrite of the opening musical number. I’m sorry we had to change it, because it was such a fun idea to parody a pre-Resource Wars song like “California Girls!” But, as I was informed during my recent torture session with the Censor, we want to avoid making people relive the Beforetime too much. Commentary is fine, but, you know, you have a dog in there, and some people eating fish…I know, I miss dogs too! It’s just a bit too depressing, you know? But the new version is really funny. Love the verse about fighting mountain lions for food. So relatable!

OK, jumping around a bit: Slave-Designate-391, your sketch “Office Problems?” The setting is fun—everyday work life in our modern, inescapable caste system—but I’m not sure it really says anything fresh? I like the jokes, enjoyed the gag where the cube-slave tries to take a bathroom break and his collar keeps making him fart instead of executing him…but, you know, where’s the commentary? We’re “The Sanctioned Comedic Generation Team!” Satire’s in our blood. I just think maybe this is really a place where we could comment on the execution collars, or how you’re going to be made into food someday, instead of just wackiness, OK, Slave-Designate-391? Maybe work with Cherise on that one. She was a slave manager until the corporation that owned her was dissolved along with all other rebel corporations during the Third Uprising, so she knows what’s up. Great.

Jarene! Awesome job. I think “Presi-Ducal Address” is going to be a real winner, and I wanna use it to close the show. I’d just ask, can we remove the direct references to Presi-Duke Jefferson’s ex-wife? She’s not supposed to ever be mentioned anymore in public. Yeah, the rebellion, exactly. It’s annoying, but, hey, rules are rules! And, let me tell you, you do not want to break that rule. That’s how “The Outlawed Comedic Generation Team” lost their gig.

Anyway, a final technical note: let me remind you that we haven’t actually been allocated use of the district’s lightbulb yet! So, we may have to cut some of these cues down. It’s probably smart if you have a backup version of your scripts with pared-down tech. I think I saw some non-burnt paper in the university ruins, if you’ve run out. Just be sure you have enough scrap with you to pay the toll. Takes scavenge to find scavenge!

Whoops, there’s the first curfew bell. Sorry to keep you so late! We’ll reconvene after rations are distributed on Jeffersonday, sound good? If you have any questions before then, just send a messenger orphan. Great work! This is gonna be a great show! Hands in—1, 2, 3, GO SANCTIONED COMEDIC GENERATION TEAM!