Right now, the worst thing that can happen to the population of Planet Coaster [official site] is an upset tummy, or a lack of cash on-hand to pay for overpriced pop and burgers. Of course, combine the upset tummy and the overpriced food, and you end up with puddles of vomit, so perhaps the worst thing that can happen to the population of Planet Coaster is the involuntary, forceful expulsion of undigested, overpriced nosh through their noses and mouths.

That’ll all change on April 11th, when a free update brings pickpockets and vandals to your parks, along with a stack of new rides.

I reckon the best way to react to the presence of the criminal element is to build a Judge Dredd themed rollercoaster that terrifies wrongdoers back onto the straight and narrow, but Frontier will be providing some more direct tools for crime prevention. Cameras can catch crims in the act and you can hire new staff in the form of security guards. Ideally, you’ll be able to dress all of your guards in the fashion of sentient meat disc, Chief Beef, the park mascot who already appears to be a law enforcement officer of some type. If I thought a living burger would hunt me down if I did a crime, I’d be the most law-abiding citizen in the world.

The people trying to put a dampener on your park life will come in two categories: vandals are unhappy guests who take their displeasure out on the park, while pickpockets come to the park the park purely to prey on the purses of the other visitors.

Here you can see the law in action.



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Along with the new criminal activity, there will be seven new rides:

Rollercoasters Steel Hydra. Feel the G-force aboard Planet Coaster’s first suspended swinging coaster.

Trident. Go there and back again with the first of Planet Coaster’s two new shuttle coasters.

Bakasura. Trident’s bigger, badder brother is a thrilling inverted boomerang coaster. Tracked Ride ‘Speed’ Go Karts. Design your own karting tracks using Planet Coaster’s powerful track editor and see your guests put pedal to the metal! Who will win and who will spin?

INTERRUPTION FOR A GO KARTS VIDEO BECAUSE THEY LOOK RAD



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Flatrides Elixir Machine. 360 degrees of spinning, swinging, twisting, upside-down insanity.

Big Wheel. An iconic favorite from the golden age of theme parks.

ZoZo. The long-armed ZoZo is another addition to Planet Coaster’s lineup of vintage classics.

Although I agree with the criticisms in our verdict, which I took part in, I’m still enjoying Planet Coaster, even though I wish it were more challenging. The money just keeps rolling in. Perhaps what I need is a crimewave to shake things up.