Atlético Madrid remain hopeful of signing Diego Costa before the window shuts, so impressed are with the gruelling fitness regime that involves the motormouth striker working up a sweat by never talking to the media every three seconds, but first they want him to make peace with Chelsea. That should be simple enough given that Costa is hardly the type to pick an unnecessary fight. He just has to sit in a locked room with the similarly placid Antonio Conte and make sure not to upset the Chelsea manager. Keep a straight face while complimenting the Italian’s hair. Avoid talking about the FA Cup final. Try not to have a debate about whether it’s ever acceptable to break up with someone with a text message.

It’s looking like a busy end to the month for Chelsea. Lille were so impressed with Michy Batshuayi’s clinical header at Wembley on Sunday that they want to spend £36m on the Belgian striker and Conte will use the cash to sign Jamie Vardy from Leicester City and try to pip Tottenham Hotspur to the signing of Everton’s Ross Barkley, although the Mill isn’t sure if he’s worth the bother. Not content with breaking the world record to sign Neymar, who looks as though he could wear a blindfold and still score 100 goals in France this season, now Paris Saint-Germain are ready to splurge more money on Kylian Mbappé, who was sent home from training the other day. As competition from interesting developing teams is far too dangerous for the big boys to accept, PSG have decided that Monaco must be stopped at all costs. As such they’ll hand Monaco £200m and Lucas Moura in exchange for Mbappé and Fabinho.

Barcelona have admitted defeat in their attempt to lure Philippe Coutinho away from Liverpool, who were unimpressed with the Catalan club’s decision to offer £82m over four years and another £36m dependent on add-ons like Coutinho changing his name to Pip and Jürgen Klopp vowing to give Alberto Moreno a contract for life. Liverpool will celebrate seeing off Barcelona by signing Real Madrid’s Mateo Kovacic. Manchester United like the look of Fulham youngster Ryan Sessegnon and want to curtail his development by sticking him in the reserves for a few years before selling him to West Brom, who will let Manchester City have Jonny Evans for £25m. Meanwhile City are preparing to test Arsenal’s determination not to sell Alexis Sánchez this summer by offering £70m for the Chilean. Pep Guardiola appears to be over his midfielder fetish.

Jinking forwards are his new obsession. Crystal Palace have been priced out of a move for Liverpool’s Mamadou Sakho and have turned their attention to AEK Athens defender Ognjen Vranjes. West Ham still want William Carvalho, but they aren’t willing to meet the Sporting Lisbon’s £40m buyout clause.

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