Moldova, a country we totally didn't have to look at a map to find, is a country steeped in rich cultural traditions dating back hundreds of years.

This story will not be one of those traditions. 53-year-old Florin Ionita got his penis bitten after his wife's friend nearly took it off with her bare teeth. The husband allegedly tried to sexually assault his wife's younger friend during a picnic. When Ionita dropped his pants, the younger woman fought back with one of the most deadly weapons left in her arsenal: her bare teeth. When Ionita's wife returned 30 minutes later she found her husband writhing in agony on the ground. The husband demanded that his wife call an ambulance and is quoted as screaming, "It is going to fall off."

The wife tried to figure out why her husband was bleeding from the crotch with his pants around his ankles when he finally confessed to trying to force himself on the 24-year-old friend. The wife eventually called an ambulance, telling them not to hurry and giving them intentionally vague directions to the picnic. To add insult to injury, the nearly neutered husband could face 5 years in prison if convicted of sexual assault.