The previous version of this fundraiser was cancelled in the midst of a mental breakdown. Preparation has gone into the creation of this new fundraiser to ensure such a thing will never happen again, and is managed by two trusted individuals close to me.



I am incredibly grateful for everyone's support so far, and I personally can't wait for this to finally be done.

Hello, my name is India Chung.



I am a 22 year old trans woman living in Northern Ireland, and I suffer from an incredibly violent form of dysphoria that disables me from living, and pushes me to cut and injure my own face on a regular basis.

I have been suicidal for the past 15 years, with it reaching an agonisingly oppressive point in the last 6. All of my problems stem entirely from my dysphoria, which I experience at a much more intense, and chronic level than most people.

Recently, I have been suffering mental breakdowns where I am unable to do anything but scream and claw at my face while doing so. I have cut my face many times in the past, but never before with my bare hands like this.



It is due to these breakdowns that a friend of mine has suggested I try crowdfunding for FFS.

Guess what? I agreed.



ABOUT ME:



I came out as trans when I was 16, and received blockers when I was 17. However, the NHS only gave me estrogen when I was 21. I was so suicidally dysphoric when I was 16 that I was admitted to a psychiatric ward. The only thing that kept me alive was the belief that estrogen was coming soon. I would tell myself I would be fine by the age of 18, but then I turned 18, and estrogen still had not came. The number became 20, then 21. And now whilst I have access to estrogen, the psychological damage has already been done to me and I cannot possibly wait any longer in order to live a normal life. The fact I have been going for so long, trying to survive this specific kind of dysphoria, destroys me.



My inability to cope with my dysphoria has put me in psychiatric wards as well as homeless hostels throughout my life. I now have my own home and a friend who supports me, but the problems of course, persist.



In school I used to walk around with my face covered through all school hours unless I was alone. The school actually gave me my own seperate room to help with this. I am 22. It is many years later, and I am at the point where I have the skin from my face underneath my fingernails.





WHY WILL SURGERY HELP?:



FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) will not solve my problems overnight, but it will give me the ability to deal with them. It is only through an entire life of various coping mechanisms, psychiatrists, and help, that I know this.

You might have doubts about one surgical procedure changing someones life completely, and that is understandable. I have no aspirations or obsessions about looking beautiful or anything of the like. I simply have a far more adverse reaction to the masculine aspects of my face than most trans women.

FFS isn't just one surgery but a catch all term for a number of different surgeries. The funding goal here is purely an abstract number, it doesn't have to be met for drastic change to be enabled in my life.

Crowdfunding is not an avenue I had ever thought of taking. I have went though the past several years believing that suicide is the only personal agency I have to end my dysphoria. Crowdfunding, while difficult, will hopefully change this and give me a chance. Dysphoria has cheated me out of a childhood, and an adolescence. Please help me so it doesn't cheat me out of an entire life.

I cannot being to explain how much of my life has been ravaged and destroyed by my experience with my dysphoria, and I cannot begin to explain how much of a life and death situation this is for me.



Please help me.