Earn Us Some Serious Tubmans: Ghion Journal Acquired by the Washington Post

I‘m writing this to the dedicated readers of the Ghion Journal, the audience of the GhionTV and to future audience of our humble publication. Over the past two weeks, I have been in secret negotiation with the Washington Post’s management; an offer was made through an intermediary for the Washington Post to acquire Ghion Journal and join the growing Jeff Bezos media empire. Though the negotiation process was arduous and induced a few moments of soul searching, in the end, we were able to come to terms and I’m announcing today that the Ghion Journal will henceforth fall under the purview of the Washington Post.

The final offer was $10,000,000. Though I had a lot of reservations, I decided in the end that I could do more to spread the message I care about and to reach a broader audience with the large cash infusion that was offered in the buyout negotiation. No longer will Ghion Journal be dependent on contributions from readers and viewers alike, we now have the largess of Jeff Bezos and the cachet of the Washington Post to count on. Consequently, this requires a change of format and a slight deviation from our mission statement, Ghion Journal will now make ad space available for benevolent and wonderful corporations like Northrop Grumman and Wells Fargo. Rest assure though, our commitment to speak truth to power will be unwavering, we will just be a bit more cautious about which powers we will be speaking against. After all, we can’t very well threaten our $10,000,000 by shinning a light on the very companies that made us millionaires now can we? You understand right?

Let me be perfectly clear, our journalistic integrity will not take a back seat now that we are a part of a publicly owned corporation. Though you will not read stories like this, we will nonetheless invest a lot of time and resources in exposing the malfeasance of the Kardashians and discussing Donald Trump’s latest tweet ad nauseam. This is what corporate journalism is after all, we will not spare any effort in our attempt to diminish the public discourse and imbue outrage in the hearts of our readers. #GhionSold to #WashingtonPest Click To Tweet We contemplated long and hard before arriving at this decision, in the end, this one factor helped us see the light: it’s all about the Benjis baby!

I will retain my position as the editor emeritus and founder of the Ghion Journal, but the stories will now be cleared through the Washington Post’s editorial staff who will make sure that Ghion Journal articles meet community (corporate) standards. These minders, I mean governance board, are tasked with ensuring that we do not offend the sense and sensibilities of our corporate sponsors first and to make sure that our articles are more sensational and act as click bait in order to “grow the business”. Think of this as North Korea level of oversight; an iron fist of dictatorship covered in the velvet glove of capitalism. This means our focus going forward will be to get a year over year increases in readership and to garner a year over year growth of ad revenues. Reporting news, speaking truth to power and stamping out corruption through objective reporting? Pashaw! Ain’t nobody got time for that! We trying to make money and swim in more cheddar than Wisconsin!

The good news is that I will be taken seriously, since the Washington Post has put their imprimatur behind the Ghion Journal brand and endorsed our content. What has, up to this point, gone unnoticed by many outside of a few who realize the gem that was once Ghion will now be embraced by millions of eyeballs. Even though we love to bash corporate media and our ludicrous mainstream media, we nonetheless glom on to what is embraced by the elites and disregard what comes from us—the people.

*the previous paragraph was redacted for not meeting the “guidelines of the Washington Post ~ corporate minders

It has been a wonderful ride since we started the Ghion Journal on December 27th 2016. I will now spend the day “modifying” my previous articles; I have to be a bit more “nuanced” with my analysis of news. With the embrace of the establishment comes “responsibilities”. I can’t bash the very same people that I am now going to be sipping Merlot and eating foie gras with now can I? So instead of speaking truth to power, I will now be aiming my ire at Republicans only and report news through the prism of partisanship only to hang out and get drunk in the evenings with the same Republicans I pretend to be bashing.

No more being an observer, I am now a “professional” journalist. This means I will be reporting more outrageous news and less in depth analysis of the very divides that gash society. I will also start interviewing more politicians and focusing less on the heroes in our community who are truly making a difference. The good news is that I will be making a difference by being a part of the very evils I’ve been writing against—I mean this is how one makes change happen right! This is how Obama gave us change, by going into the system and changing it within even as he was more scripted than the manuscript for the movie “Manchurian Candidate”. This is how Trump is making America great again right, by being a politician so he can drain the swamp that is DC even though Mara Largo is a swamp made from Lucifer’s piss.

Well, it’s been a real my people! Just know that I will not let money change me a bit. Excuse me for a second, I got distracted by this order I just placed for a Chinchilla coat on Amazon (Amazon, a company of the people by the people, a kiss from Jesus himself). You can expect the same level of in depth reporting and we will continue to hold the feet of Republicans to the fire, oh and make sure you vote for Democrats this year because Democrats are the party of saints and heroes who care so much about us working schmucks). The frequency of my writing will ebb considerably as I will now be spending more of my time as a pundit on CNN, MSNBC and Fox News hawking my books (“Serendipity’s Trace” and “Soul to Soil”) and being a shill to the corporate agenda.

The good news is that I did not sell out! Excuse me, I was just taking a phone call from the governance board; I have to cut this article down because long articles do not sell and do not retain the attention of readers who go outrage hunting instead of looking for in depth analysis. From now on, I can only write 500 words or less and I no longer have creative license to select the pictures or the title of the articles I write, that will be done by a corporate hack ombudsman Johnny Walkerz who has been assigned as the head minder of the Ghion Journal. Imagine that; $10,000,000 has a cost, I am now part of the corporate agenda. At least I am now embraced as a “journalist”; you can catch me on TV at the White House Correspondence Dinner on April 29th rubbing elbows with the 1% and pretending to be upset with Trump as I count my millions. Ain’t life grand! Just remember boys and girls, in politics and in media, there are no heroes. Cheers to Ghion Journal, we got the change we could believe in!

Listen to Obama’s lasts correspondents’ dinner, he is literally turning injustice into punchlines and human suffering into jokes. Sadder still, listen to all the supposed “journalists” and “free-press” idealists laughing along. These are truly the faces of #PublicSerpents

“Earn me some serious Tubmans.” ~ Barack Hu$$ein Obama

APRIL FOOLS!

Though the origins of April Fools is debatable, some attribute it to France and others to England others yet ascribe it biblical times, the holiday is one that celebrates the essence of fooling someone into believing that something false is actually true. Oh wow, that describes the state of our mass media; a bunch of 365 days a year fools pretend to be pundits and scions as they deceive all of us with propaganda they peddle as news. Except, sadly, we are the fools who are programmed through media (the most powerful weapon known to humanity) to accept lies as truth and to dismiss truths as theories. The only way out of this rabbit hole is to trust independent media and disavow corporate yellow press hyenas and their corporate patrons.

So don’t worry Ghion readers and viewers, it will be a cold day in hell before you see me or this publication casting our lot with the very powers we have been speaking against. $10 million, nor any amount of money, is worth giving my soul to the corporate devils who bleed the world. Ghion Journal will continue to bring the light, money is not our aim, our purpose is to make a difference. At times we revert to satire in order to speak truth to power and reveal the fraudulence of the establishment.

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O! One last thing, share this article on Twitter and Facebook and tag/mention your favorite pundit/journalist, shame these frauds into acting with morality instead of chasing retweets and status. We at Ghion Journal depend on our readers instead of corporate interests, we remain dedicated to giving media back to the people. Thank you Angie Rhoten for suggesting Patreon and for your contribution to Ghion Journal. Your support of independent writers and thinkers is noted and noticed!

Know, above all, your greatest contribution is to visit our website and to be a part of the Ghion Journal as you keep telling others about us and sharing the stories we push out on a daily basis. We are a unique place on the “internets” because Ghion Journal is a circle of like minded thinkers and audacious dreamers who believe that kindness and love trumps (excuse the pun) greed and selfishness.

Ghion Journal—fighting ignorance with knowledge::

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