By Peter Genovese I NJ Advance Media for NJ.com

This post was originally published on June 5, 2017.

Who eats frozen pizza? The better question is, who doesn't? Sales of frozen pizza last year totaled $4.6 billion. Supermarkets may stock a dozen or more brands, with 25 or more varieties to choose from. The big player is DiGiorno, which will sell $1 billion worth of pizza this year. So who's the best — and worst? I went on a supermarket spree, buying two kinds of every pizza brand at eight supermarkets (the photo shows the result of just one trip). I ended up with 37 brands and 70 pizzas (several pizzas came in one form only), sampling every pizza, rating each brand, just as we did with our rankings of every chain burger, every major snack and every major pasta sauce. All the pizzas except one (Lean Cuisine, for microwave only) were cooked in a conventional oven. Our number one frozen pizza brand? You may not even have heard of them.

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37. Jeno's

Jeno's and Totino's are owned by General Mills; more than 300 million of the two brands are sold every year. Rose and Jim Totino started making pizzas in Minneapolis in 1951; legend has it that Rose convinced a local bank to give her a $1,500 loan by bringing pizza to the bank.

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Maybe it's the "genetically-engineered cheese.'' Or the reddish-pink sauce. Or maybe because it's just plain bad. On my last day on earth I'd rather eat earth.

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36. Totino's

Practically indistinguishable in appearance and taste to Jeno's, Totino's Party Pizza also contains nearly identical amounts of fat and sodium. In 1962, Rose and Jim Totino launched Totino's Finer Foods, soon becoming "the first big name in the frozen pizza industry,'' according to General Mills. The company was acquired by Pillsbury in 1975; General Mills acquired Totino's with its purchase of Pillsbury in 2001.

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Runny sauce and a burnt-cheese taste don't start things off on the right foot, and the cratered surface-of-the-moon foundation means this pizza doesn't end well, either. The sausage is made with chicken and pork, and the "pepperoni seasoning'' is made with pork, chicken and beef. That's more than I needed to know.

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35. Tony's

Billed as the nation's first frozen pizza, Tony's started as Tony's Little Italy, founded in 1960 by Tony Pagilia and brother-in-law Dick Barlow in Salina, Kansas. Marvin Schawn bought the brand in the 1970s and started selling frozen pizzas based on the original recipe, promising a taste "that's as delicious as it is authentic.''

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Watery, tasteless sauce, and the "real mozzarella'' tastes like anything but. Boardwalk pizza tastes better, and that's saying something. Time to update that timeless recipe, folks.

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34. Chopsie's

Chopsie's, named after a legendary Kosher pizza store once in Brooklyn's Crown Heights, is one of two Kosher pizza brands on this list. Kosher pizza is a $10 million annual business; according to one estimate, there are 500 Kosher pizza stores in the U.S. Other Kosher pizza brands include Mendelsohn's, J2, Amnon and Eddie's.

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Chopsie's pizza is made with Muenster cheese, which separates it from the frozen pizza pack. Unfortunately, that difference doesn't translate into a good pizza. The sauce is decent, but the crust is crackery and strictly amateur-hour.

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33. Celeste

Mama Celeste — Celeste Lizio, an immigrant from Southern Italy — opened a pizzeria in Chicago in the 1930s. Business was so good she eventually closed the pizzeria and started selling frozen pizzas throughout the Midwest. The handy pizzas-for-one come in nine variations.

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I remember these pizzas being a staple of my college dorm days. I also remember them being much better — or is that just me peering through rose-colored pizza glasses? The sausage is sorry, and both the sausage/pepperoni and the four-cheese pizzas feature bland, flavorless crusts.

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32. Lean Cuisine

Lean Cuisine. which started as a healthy spinoff of Stouffer's in 1981, is now a global leader in healthy, nutritious, balanced meals. Owned by Nestle, Lean Cuisine markets its pizzas as "Fun Craveables.''

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The only pizza in this sampling that is for microwave cooking only, Lean Cuisine is notable for its packaging; you make your pizza cooker by flipping over the top and placing the pizza on a silver strip. Wish the finished product lived up to the elaborate preparation; the crust is all wrong, and the sausage regrettable. I'd rather get fat eating normal, edible, pizza

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31. Uno Pizzeria & Grill

Uno Foods claims to have invented deep-dish pizza in 1943, when Ike Sewell opened a restaurant at the corner of Ohio and Wabash in Chicago. His pizza featured a buttery crust and loads of cheese. Deep dish remains a Chicago institution, one that hasn't made much of an inroad on the East Coast.

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You gotta like deep-dish, for starters. The frozen version of Uno's is a pallid version of the real deal, with bland toppings and a chewy, cardboard-y crust. Hey, Chicago, when you make great pizza — fresh or frozen — let the center of the pizza universe (NYC and New Jersey) know.

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30. Smart Flour

Another heart-warming pizza story: Smart Flour Foods started in Austin, Tex. in 2005 as a goodwill gesture to help someone diagnosed with Celiac disease. It is now a thriving business producing gluten-free products. "We won't settle for crumbly, tasteless gluten-free pizza, and neither should you!'' proclaims the company.

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The pizzas feature a "mozzarella and provolone cheese medley,'' with a "delicious toppings tapestry'' and a "hearty layer of our old-world pizza sauce.'' They may want to spend more energy on their product, not their flowery prose. The pizzas are made with "ancient grains'' such as sorghum, amaranth and teff. The cheese tastes like ancient cheese, which is never a good thing.

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29. O Organics

Organics pizza is distributed by Lucerne Foods, which supplies private-label foods to household-name retailers and food service companies. The pizzas contain organic mozzarella, organic tomatoes and organic basil.

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Odd-tasting herbs/seasonings and a crust that could not have been any blander. It may be more healthy, but it sure isn't more tasty.

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28. Against the Grain

Another gluten-free pizza, Against the Grain is a family-owned commercial bakery in Brattleboro, Vt. that also makes baguettes, bagels, rolls and wraps. The box rails against food enhancers, dough conditioners, binders and preservatives that have turned most frozen pizzas into "chemistry experiments.'' No natamycin (an antifungal agent used as a mold inhibitor) in these pizzas!

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Ignore the weird runny greenish hue of the Nut-Free Pesto; the pizza tastes better than it looks. The Uncured Pepperoni pizza didn't fare as well, with its surpassingly bland crust and gummy sauce.

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27. Wegman's

Yes, Wegman's is a cool store; I just wish there were one within 50 miles of my house. Founded in 1916, the company now numbers 92 stores, with seven in New Jersey and annual sales of $8.3 billion.

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Several heretofore-trustworthy sources sang the praises of Wegman's Italian Classics pizzas, made with "fresh mountain spring water from the foothills of Italy's Dolomite Mountains.'' The cherry tomatoes are a nice touch, but the crust on the Pizza Campania is terrifically tasteless, and the Bake & Rise Pizza Supreme is a soggy, lame-sauced mess

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26. California Pizza Kitchen

Two former federal prosecutors opened the first California Pizza Kitchen, in Beverly Hills, in 1985, single-handedly placing California "in the pizza pantheon alongside Chicago and New York.'' Hey, it's their version of pizza history, not mine. There are now 250-plus locations of the restaurant in 30 states and 11 countries.

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Fake-tasting cheese in the Four Cheese Pizza; the sauce is passable. The Sicilian is markedly better, and the pepperoni better than most, but that wafery crust needs to go back to the crust lab.

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25. Signature Select

Another private-label brand, Signature Select is distributed by Better Living Brands, which, like O Organics, is part of Safeway Inc. They must not like cold pizza; package instructions advise you to "promptly refrigerate or discard leftovers.'' Here's why pizza should be in the Leftover Hall of Fame.

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Fontina and smoked gouda — which you almost never see on frozen pizza — appear on the Five Cheese Pizza, but the result is lackluster. The Spicy Italian Sausage Pizza is better by default. It's spicy, all right; just wish it were tasty.

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24. Wild Mike's

"Real cheese,'' including Parmesan cheese "all the way from Italy'' is the pitch from Wild Mike's, based in Clackamas, Ore. The owner is Steve Piazza, whose father started the business 50 years ago. Fans are called "pizza rebels.''

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Best thing about Wild Mike's: the red pepper and Italian spice packets that come with each pizza. That's about the only thing this pizza has going for it. Mediocre sauce and cheese, and crust that looks and tastes like it was cooked in an Easy-Bake Oven.

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23. Trader Joe's

Trader Joe's started as a string of convenience stores called Pronto Markets in 1958; the chain, known for food and drink from around the world, now numbers 464 stores in 41 states.

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Trader Joe's becomes "Trader Giotto's'' on the pizza boxes. Much is promised — "Imported from Italy!'' "cooked in wood-burning ovens!'' — but little is delivered. Both the Organic Three Cheese Pizza and Pizza 4 Formaggi taste like drive-in movie pizza.

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22. Tombstone

In the 1960s, Joe Simek ran the Tombstone Tap, a bar bordered by a cemetery in Medford, Wis. One day, he breaks his leg dancing to the Peppermint Twist and spends most of the winter tinkering with pizza recipes for bar patrons. He begins selling the frozen pizzas from the trunk of his Cadillac, and bar legend Tombstone is born. Kraft bought Tombstone in 1986; Nestle acquired it in 2010.

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I'll take their word there are five cheeses in the 5 Cheese Pizza; the result, in any event, is acceptable. But the sausage in the Supreme pizza might have been the worst sausage of all those sampled in this ranking.

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21. Newman's Own

Pizza that makes you feel good all over: 100 percent of net profits and royalties from Newman's Own food products are donated to Newman's Own Foundation, which supports non-profits around the world. There are nine kinds of pizza; the company slogan is "In Crust We Trust.''

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Maybe they should throw more, or different, cheeses into the Thin & Crispy Four Cheese; the four here (mozzarella, parmesan, asiago, cheddar) don't seem to get along. Uncured pepperoni is a frozen pizza fad; the Thin & Crispy Uncured Pepperoni tastes a bit more like real meat, but the rest of the pizza is average, at best.

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20. ShopRite

Most supermarkets carry their own or private-label brand of pizza; ShopRite, part of Woodbridge-based Wakefern Food Corp., is no different. A group of independent grocers from Newark formed Wakefern as a co-op, which operated from 1946 until 1951, when the ShopRite brand was added.

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The photo on the box is not exactly alluring, and the actual pizza is basic and kind of boring. Liked the crust, though.

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19. Sasquatch Pizza Co.

Sasquatch is a beast, all right, a three-pound pizza that may require two people to carry. "Do not approach a pizza THIS BIG alone!'' warns the package from Sasquatch Pizza Co. The pizza is made by Palermo Villa Inc., in Milwaukee.

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If you like pepperoni, the Triple Pepperoni pizza is the one for you. Otherwise, head, like Sasquatch, for the hills; the beginner crust and so-so sauce are proof that in the pizza world size doesn't matter.

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18. Screamin' Sicilian

If there were an award for best frozen pizza name, "Mother of Meat!'' would surely win it. Screamin' Sicilian comes from Palermo Villa Inc. The pizza "is so different it needs to shout to you from the frozen pizza section and with toppings so good, it'll make your momma holla.'' You can tear off and wear the moustache included on every box.

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The Mother of Meat did not disappoint in the meat category (sausage, julienne ham, rough-cut pepperoni, smoked bacon). Too bad the crust is listless. Mambo Italiano (meatballs, pepperoni) - cute name, ok pizza.

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17. Red Baron

There's now a Baroness to join the dashing, mustachioed Baron himself? Apparently so. The company started in 1976; its squadron of WWII-era biplanes was the longest-serving civilian aerobatic team in the U.S. Red Baron is owned by The Schwan Food Co., which also counts Freschetta and Mrs. Smith's Bakeries among its brands.

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I'm of the belief that "cheddar cheese'' and "pizza'' should never be in the same sentence. That being said, Red Baron's 4-cheese pizza, with cheddar, mozzarella, provolone and parmesan, was one of the better cheese pizzas in this sampling. The Brick Oven Crust Cheese Trio pizza was nowhere as good.

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16. Sam's Choice

If it's Sam's Choice, it must be Walmart; the world's largest retailer sells gazillions of pizzas every year. A mere 27 kinds are available, from Pepperoni Thin Crust and Rising Crust Four Cheese to Chicken Bacon Ranch Thin Crust and Spinach and Artichoke Mini-Artisan Flatbread.

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Good, chewy crust in both the Rising Crust Four Cheese and Rising Crust Supreme, but the sauce is strictly by-the-numbers. More bread than pizza, but it'll do.

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15. Stouffer's

Abraham and Mahala Stouffer opened their small dairy stand in downtown Cleveland in 1922; in the 1930s, they opened a restaurant in New York City. Frozen dinners came along in the 1950s, the distinctive French Bread pizzas in the 1970s. Stouffer's is now owned by Nestle.

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Thick, crispy, crunchy French bread pizzas — Stouffer's is unlike any other frozen pizza out there, although several imitators have popped up. I practically lived on these in my post-college struggling-reporter years, and they scarcely seem to have changed. They're still too salty, but there's something about that unique bready crunch.

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14. Amnon's

Amnon Levy started making pizzas in his Boro Park, Brooklyn, store 20 years ago. Today, Amnon Kosher Pizza can be found in supermarkets from coast to coast. The original store, on 13th Avenue, is still open.

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Clearly superior to Chopsie's, the other Kosher pizza on this list, Amnon's delivers a pleasant little slice, with a nice chewy thinnish crust.

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13. Mama Cozzi's (Aldi)

Aldi is the German discount grocer giant making serious inroads in New Jersey, with three dozen stores, including East Brunswick, opening in the last several years. The company slogan is "Simply Smarter Shopping.''

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Stop it already with the cheddar cheese on pizza! Aldi's Five Cheese pizza has the stuff. The sauce is ok, but the crust looks and tastes cheap. One bright light: the Rising Crust Three Meat Pizza might have had the best sausage of all the pizzas sampled here.

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12. Stop&Shop

Stop&Shop traces its history to the Economy Grocery Store in Somerville, Mass. in 1914; the first Stop&Shop opened in Connecticut in 1941; by 1959 there were 100 stores. By 1976, sales chain-wide had reached $1 billion. Today, there are 375 stores in New England, New Jersey and New York.

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Interesting: the Signature Wood-Fired Margherita is listed as a "product of Italy,'' but the Self-Rising Crust Four Cheese Pizza is apparently not; there is no such tag on the box. The margherita, not too surprisingly, is superior, with standout cheese and a decent crust. The Four Cheese is saucier than most, with an ok crust.

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11. Ellio's

A supermarket staple, the Ellios name came from a contraction of the original owners' names — Elias Betzios, George Liolis and Manny Tzelios. The pizza became an instant hit in school cafeterias in the early 60s because its rectangular shape fit perfectly into lunchroom trays. There are six Original Crust pizzas and two Sicilian Style Crust pizzas, in handy break-apart sections of three.

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Love the fact you can break them into rectangular slices instead of being stuck with an entire pizza. The plain cheese pizza is a good honest slice, and Ellio's is one of the sauciest frozen pizzas out there. The Supreme Pizza, with microscopic sausage and pepperoni, is nowhere as good.

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DiGiorno | "Rise to the Occassion" Pizza Anthem from Reach Agency on Vimeo.

10. DiGiorno

It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno! The country's top-selling frozen pizza (sales will total $1 billion this year) has taken over the market with aggressive marketing, colorful packaging and America's continuing love affair with rising crust pizzas. The first DiGiorno pizza was introduced in 1995; they now come in a dizzying array of variations — thin crust pizza, thin and crispy, cheese stuffed pizza, garlic bread pizza, microwave thin crust and more.

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The cheese is good enough for a frozen pizza, but the crust needs work. I tried the Four Cheese and Original Rising Crust Supreme; DiGiorno's main rising crust competitor did better in the ranking (see below)

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9. Tree Tavern

It all started with the Tree Tavern, on Crosby Avenue in Paterson, owned by the Francia family. They made frozen pizza history in 1955, when Tree Tavern became the first frozen pizza sold in a supermarket. The company is now owned by Provision Foods of Wanaque.

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Another pizza, like Celeste, that I remember being better 10, 20 years ago, but Tree Tavern still stands out for its classic simplicity. There's only one kind — cheese — and the box seems to have scarcely changed in 50 years. Nice, slightly tart sauce.

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8. American Flatbread

Pizza boxes often overflow with pepperoni-laden poetry, American Flatbread, based in Pittsfield, N.H., brags about its "truly nutritious, light, crisp, flavorful and wonderfully convenient'' pizza "of integrity.'' The "elements of food become the elements of ourselves,'' the package goes on. Yikes.

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Is that some semblance of seasoning on the Tomato Sauce and 3 Cheese pizza? But the thin, crackery crust tastes fake-wheaty, or something. The Ionian Awakening sounds more like a spa treatment than pizza, but it's a winning combination of organic onions, carrots, celery and parsley, plus feta and Grana Padano cheese.

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7. Virtuoso

I never heard of Virtuoso, or Dr. Oetker, for that matter, before this. The dear doctor was a German pharmacist whose baking powder made him the rage of Bielefield in the late 1800s. The Mount Laurel-based company now makes baking mixes, cereals, yogurts, chilled desserts - and pizza.

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The Pepperoni Pesto pizza is forgettable, but the Vegetable Medley may have been the prettiest of those sampled, a rainbow of topping hues - green, red, yellow, purple. The cheese is finger-lickin' good.

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6. 365 Everyday Value

Distributed by Whole Foods Market, which also offers another line of pizzas under its own name (see below). Whole Foods "365'' stores — in Austin, LA and elsewhere — are where "quality meets savings,'' according to the company.

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Perfectly fine meat and vegges on the Supreme, but the sauce tastes sketchy. The Thin Crust Mediterranean, though, is a doughy delight, the feta, spinach and Kalamata olives a mighty tasty trio. As soon as I finished one slice, I wanted another.

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5. Urban Pie

Urban Pie Pizza Co. stands out not just for its distinctive boxes but for creative flavors based on food neighborhoods - Little Italy (pesto and mozzarella pizza), Mission District (Uncured Pepperoni and Chicken Sausage), and more. The pizza is made by Milwaukee-based Palermo Villa, the same folks who bring you Screamin' Sicilian and Sasquatch Pizza.

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The Eight Cheeses Creamy Garlic Alfredo Pizza wins the award for most cheeses on a frozen pizza, and if you like cheesy pies, this is a oozy, doozy delight. The Truffle Alfredo & Shiitake & Crimini Mushrooms Pizza is not quite in the same league.

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4. Whole Foods

The first Whole Foods Market opened in Austin, Tex. in 1980 with a grand total of 19 people on staff. Today, it's the "world's leader in natural and organic foods,'' with 465 stores in North America.

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The cherry tomatoes atop the Margherita are a nice touch, and the cheese is good enough. The Stracchino and Arugula pizza is a white pizza that's probably better than at least half the fresh-made white pizzas out there.

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3. Freschetta

You won't find any company history on the Freschetta web site; the pizza brand is owned by The Schwan Food Co., which also owns Red Baron. They're one of the best-known rising crust pizzas; sauces are made from vine-ripened tomatoes.

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One thing you won't find much of on most frozen pizzas: sauce. The red stuff is in abundance on the Brick Oven Crust5 Italian Cheese Pizza. The Signature Pepperoni Pizza is nice and saucy, and loaded with the world's most popular topping. Sturdy, crunchy, chewy crust. I'll take Freschetta over DiGiorno any day of the pizza week.

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2. Amy's

Amy is Amy Berliner, whom family members named their new company after in 1988. Pot pies, burritos and mac and cheese were the original offerings at Amy's; the first pizza came along in 1996. Amy's now sells 259 products in 30-plus countries,.

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Measure of a good frozen pizza: you don't want to immediately toss it into the garbage, which I was tempted to do with more than a handful in this test. Amy's 4 Cheese Pizza is decent, but the Mushroom & Olive Pizza, with two of my favorite toppings, is a standout. I could eat this on a semi-regular basis.

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1. Open Nature

I never heard of Open Nature before this mission, but then again I don't spend an inordinate amount of time in the frozen pizza section. It's distributed by Lucerne Foods, owned by Safeway. "Nature has nothing to hide; neither should your food,'' is the company slogan.

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The Four Cheese Pizza was a simple delight, but the Mediterranean Pizza, with mozzarella, feta, roasted red peppers, spinach, mushrooms and red onions, took this brand to another level. Call me a convert.

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What's your favorite frozen pizza?

The ranking above is one person's opinion of the best - and worst - frozen pizza. What's your favorite brand? Did we leave anyone out? Let us know in the comments section.

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More stories about pizza!

The best pizzeria in each of N.J.'s 21 counties

N.J.'s best new pizzerias: 20 terrifically tasty places around the state

The 17 best pizzerias you've probably never heard of