Wed, 04/11/2012 - 08:29

He might be as white as it gets, but François Hollande is the nearest thing to a black candidate France is going to get. That’s according to his latest campaign video, cut to the tune of “Niggas in Paris” by Jay-Z and Kanye West. It’s priceless.

How do you get young non-white people to vote for you when you’re a middle-aged balding white man? François Hollande has the answer.

Take a popular song by two famous US rap stars. Film yourself surrounded by black and Arab voters who say “big-up”. Change your name to initials only. Get some Final Cut whiz kid to paste it all together with a load of fast-forward and zoom. Set up a YouTube account with the word “crew” in it.

And upload.

Ok, so Hollande did visit the impoverished Paris suburbs in the clip (I guess that does merit a big-up). He’s also already way more popular among France’s young, non-white, working class than Nicolas Sarkozy, who pretty much guaranteed himself their eternal disrespect when he threatened to “hose down the suburbs” in 2005. But did the Hollande team listen to the lyrics before they chose the song “Niggas in Paris?” Or were they just hoping nobody would actually understand them?

Here’s an extract:

Got a broken clock, Rolleys [Rolexs] that don't tick tock

Audemars that's losing time, hidden behind all these big rocks

If you escaped what I've escaped, you'd be in Paris getting fucked up too

Let’s get faded, Le Meurice [5 star hotel] for like 6 days

Excuse my French but I’m in France, I’m just sayin'

Got my niggas in Paris and they going gorillas, huh

Not only is Hollande now a wigger, but he’s going against his every word with talk of expensive watches and luxury hotels?! This is clearly Sarkozy territory – bling bling and proud.

Nonetheless, it seems to be working. After appearing on YouTube yesterday, the video has already been watched over 28,000 times. The buzz on Twitter has so far been positive. But not everybody has been fooled. Some web users are complaining of “ethnic marketing”.

As one Libération reader pointed out: “The suburbs isn’t only hooded youths who lap up American sub-culture and watch too much TV. There are also engineers, researchers, police officers and teachers here.”

Say what?! Somebody better tell Hollande.