Story highlights Texans have nothing to fear from Pentagon's military exercises, despite governor's panicky reaction

James Moore: From the Alamo onward, Texans have a legacy of losing; the odds are against us if the U.S. military invades

James C. Moore is a business consultant and principal at Big Bend Strategies, a business messaging firm. He is co-author of "Bush's Brain: How Karl Rove Made George W. Bush Presidential" and a TV political analyst. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the author

(CNN) Dear America,

I write to you from behind the lines in the last free state of Texas as we prepare to resist the invasion of Jade Helm 15.

While Gen. Travis laid in a supply of extra "beeves" in advance of the Mexican assault from Gen. Santa Anna at the Alamo, we are fearful of running low on Slim Jims and Moon Pies as the Walmarts are turned into detention centers for citizens robbed of their constitutional rights. As POWs (Prisoners of Walmart), we expect to be put to work in the sporting goods department against our will while earning below minimum wage.

James C. Moore

We have had one encounter with a commander of the invading force during a hearing in Bastrop, Texas. Lt. Col. Mark Lastoria was deceptively polite and informative but Texans don't fall for those characteristics. We don't need facts. In Chuck Norris we trust, and he has informed us that this is an attempt by the Kenyan socialist in the White House to surrender our country to the United Nations. We have heard the talk that this is a training exercise in seven southwestern states to prepare U.S. troops for new types of war fighting, but Chuck Norris said, "It's not crazy to think Obama would invade Texas."

So that's what we believe.

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