De'Anthony Thomas is sort of world-famous for his haphazard all-caps Twitter tangents. Friday night was something else, though.

The tale really hit the ground running.

I LOVE TALKING TO MOMS — DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 26, 2013

Then it suddenly became clear that we were about to be subjected to the insane college football version of Cosmopolis. Only more entertaining.

ON MY WAT TO THE BARBERSHOP IM FINNA CHOP IT LOW FADE — DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 26, 2013

To the streets!

TAXI RIDE LOL — DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 26, 2013

lol

I LOVE TALKING TO MY MOM — DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 26, 2013

Well it's nice that there's a specific mom now.

STARTING MY WEEKEND WITH A FRESH CUT — DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 26, 2013

Power move, De'Anthony.

MOST FADED BARBERSHOP — DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 26, 2013

If that's not the actual name of the barbershop, that's the funniest tweet of the bunch.

I NEED A CLEAN BRUSH SO I CAN GET ON TEAM 360 — DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 26, 2013

is this a reference I don't get it I am old

WHAT'S YO BODY COUNT? — DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 26, 2013

That is kind of a personal question, man. #cmonman

DREAMS COME TRUE SO DREAM BIG — DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 26, 2013

We can learn so much from you, young man.

THEY YELL OUT THE WINDOW GO DUCKS — DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 26, 2013

They sure do!

I WANT SOME OLIVE GARDEN TO GO — DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 26, 2013

Hey, join the club, pal. Make sure you get some toasted ravioli as an app.

EVERYBODY TIMELINE GOING CRAZY EVERYTHING ABOUT ME — DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 26, 2013

This just got meta. WE'RE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS, PEOPLE.

STOP SNITCHING — DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 26, 2013

Kool Moe Dee would probably give you like a C- in "sticking to themes."