In the past few years, political discourse in the U.S. has seen a marked increase in discussion of so-called “American Exceptionalism.” This is the notion that, despite performing very poorly compared to the rest of the developed world in measures like poverty rates, healthcare delivery, education and almost any metric besides “Number of Wars Started in the Middle East,” the United States is still simply better than any other country out there. And if you disagree, well, we can’t hear you because we’re all too busy chanting “U-S-A! U-S-A!”

That explains why it’s called “exceptionalism” — because we believe we’re number one *except* for our high poverty rates, *except* for our expensive healthcare system and *except* for the fact that when American high school students are asked to distinguish between their own backsides and a hole in the ground, two-thirds of the students respond by saying, “Is this going to be on the test?” The remaining third don’t respond at all because they’re too busy taking selfies.

There are, of course, some areas where the U.S. remains the unquestioned world leader. Technological innovation is one.

Think of any popular Internet application around the world, and it almost certainly originated in the U.S. Facebook, Google, YouTube, Twitter — all born and raised in the U.S., but also wildly popular worldwide.

Frankly, the only countries that still outpace us in any specific tech fields are the Russians with pirating copyrighted material, the Japanese with sex robots and the Nigerians with scam emails.

Speaking of cheating people out of money, the U.S. also boasts of producing more billionaires than any other nation. And we’ve won more than twice as many Olympic medals as any other country. And did you know that every year the U.S. graduates more engineers, produces more pornography and airs more reality TV shows about cupcakes than anyone else? Not to mention that we’re responsible for introducing the world to jazz, Disney movies, the light bulb, Bruce Springsteen, Texas Hold ‘Em, the “OK” sign, Baywatch and the Electric Slide, to name a few just off the top of my head.

These impressive achievements aside, in one area the US still receives too little recognition for being “exceptional,” and that’s in the unusual way we combine food products. Just a few examples of combination foods that you can purchase here in the US include:

• Pancakes and Sausage on a Stick

• Hot Dog-flavored Potato Chips

• Onion-Parsley Peanut Butter

• Root Beer-flavored Milk

• Frozen Pickle Juice Popsicles

I swear these are all actual products. And yet those hifalutin’ Belgians still think they’re hot stuff just for coming up with the idea of putting whipped cream and strawberries on a waffle! Add blue cheese, marzipan and a slice of pastrami and we’ll think about being impressed, Belgium.

And it’s not like American food manufacturers are resting on their laurels, either. That’s because, as I recently discovered, Pepsico soon plans to roll out a new drink they describe as “Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew.”

And this is what’s so inspired about the American food industry. Because, realistically, how many times have you been sitting on the sofa, watching TV while sipping a Mountain Dew and thought to yourself, “I wish I had some delicious Doritos to enjoy along with this beverage?” Or, conversely, been sitting on the sofa working your way through a bag of Doritos and thought, “If only I had a Mountain Dew to wash down these scrumptious nacho cheese-flavored chips?” Or better yet, thought to yourself, “Gee, life would be so much easier if I could buy a single product combining these two great tastes?” I bet you’ve never had that thought, right?

Of course not. And that’s because you, as a normal person, would never come up with the idea for a beverage that tastes like Doritos, much less think of combining Doritos with Mountain Dew, a drink that — let’s be honest — already tastes like carbonated goat urine anyway. But you don’t have to think of it because the U.S. food and beverage industry will think of it for you.

And this is what I believe is truly at the heart of American Exceptionalism, in a nutshell (note: “Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew in a nutshell” to hit stores in early 2015). We’re not exceptional because we’re the only nation that would ever come up with products like hot-dog-flavored potato chips or pancakes and sausage on a stick (although we are).

No, what makes us exceptional is the boundless optimism, bordering on delusion, that leads a multinational corporation to spend millions of dollars coming up with, testing, mass producing and marketing a product as patently ridiculous as Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew. And knowing my fellow Americans, we’ll probably drink it, too.

Did I mention that we also lead the world in obesity?

Malcolm welcomes reader comments, and suggestions for new food combos, at Malcolm@CultureShlock.com.