Liam Neeson says he’s ashamed to admit he had violent thoughts about killing a black person after learning that someone close to him had been raped.

Neeson says that after being told the attacker was black, he “went up and down areas with a cosh (stick or truncheon)” hoping a black person “would come out of a pub and have a go at me about something, you know? So that I could kill him.”

The Northern Ireland-born actor recounted the story in an interview published Monday in The Independent while promoting the movie “Cold Pursuit.” He said the incident happened some time ago.

Neeson called his reaction “horrible,” saying it taught him a lesson about the “primal need” for revenge.

Neeson’s publicist didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment.