Morning, Mobsters. “Nice to be here,’’ as Keef would say. “Nice to be anywhere.’’

Thanks to everyone offering condolences on the passing of my mom. It really does mean a lot. If you didn’t read my tribute to her, and to the strangest set of occurrences I’ve experienced, here it is. Meantime, back in the game.

RIP, REDLEGS. . . And I don’t say that especially critically. I had ‘em at 76-86 in March. At this rate (60-69), I should be very close. They kept you entertained four-plus months, which is about three months longer than each of the previous four years, and they’ll go into the offseason with a good top of the rotation. That’s assuming Trevor Bauer returns to Trevor Bauer-ness. Right now, he’s as unpredictable as Jack Bauer.

(TV reference. Lookitup, scholars.)

That’s the OK news. Here’s the not-so-OK:

They didn’t take advantage of a mostly injury-free year. After a few seasons of getting Schleprock-ed with aches and pains, The Club has had a remarkably healthy ’19. The starting rotation has missed only Mahle for any length of time. Castillo, Gray and Disco all will make 30 starts and throw 150-plus innings. Bauer goes into ’20 as a guy good for 175 innings or more.

It wasn’t until earlier this month that the Everyday 8 had issues. Votto, Winker both on IL with back problems. Barnhart missed some time, Senzel’s fragility could be worrisome. But overall, very healthy.

They’ve also kinda fallen into some nice surprises, unless you expected Aquino, aka El Castigador, to show up and set homerun records. Was Josh Van Meter on your radar in March? Phil Ervin has shown he belonged. Maybe you didn’t have him hitting .316 in 63 games.

All this health and surprises and they’re still gonna finish sub-.500.

So, what now?

A veteran starter to eat innings? Bullpen help in the wake of David Hernandez’ stunning decline and eventual departure? Does an outfield of Senzel, Aquino and Winker/Ervin thrill you?

If Iglesias walks, are you OK with Galvis at SS? Is Peraza more than a utility player?

The Reds will finish this season with fewer questions than in previous seasons. Suarez and Senzel are fixtures. (Iglesias would be, if they can keep him.) Votto will play as much as he is able. The catching is in decent shape. The outfield is young and track record-less. If you assume Senzel improves and Aquino isn’t a mirage, not bad. They need more from Winker.

Might they look to deal Raisel Iglesias, who has four blown saves and, incredibly, nine losses?

Those who have overachieved in ’19: Jose Iglesias, Van Meter, Ervin, Aquino, Lorenzen, Garrett, Gray.

Underachievers: Winker, Votto, Peraza, Dietrich, Wood.

The Reds kept me from writing wait-til-next-years until almost September. That’s progress.

Now, then. . .

The all-black/all-white uniforms were lame. The players mostly showed a lack of creativity with their nicknames. (Use first syllable, add S.) Teams wear so many different unis now, it’s hard to recall what their traditionals look like. Is marketing and merchandising really that important?

THE BENGALS, BECAUSE WE MUST. I mean, this is still at its core a blog about local sports.

Defense should be better. Lawson is beastly, Dunlap can still play, Atkins is very good when he chooses to be. LBs aren’t great, DBs are above average. It’s not hard to see what opponents will try first: That soft underbelly between the line and the secondary. It has worked before. Tight ends will keep having fun against The Men.

The bigger issue is the O-line, which has the potential to be tragic. They’re gonna start a rookie 4th-rounder at guard. They’ve benched Billy Price, their 1st-round center from a year ago. The five players named as starters for the opener in Seattle will have played as a unit for two weeks.

Zac Taylor aims to run Mixon to set up play action. Mixon is an underrated stud. Can he change water to wine? No effective running game = no effective play action = Dalton running for his life.

I really hope I’m wrong about this, because The Factory of Sameness down by the river could use some New Dey. But this line is a calamity in waiting. Its musical-chairs quality will be no help.

I haven’t made a season prediction yet. Last year, I saw the Bengals on the sunny side of six Ws. This year, it’s looking damned gray.

“FRANKLY, MY DEAR. . .’’ Gimme your 3 or 5 favorite movie quotes, and do your best to avoid the obvious. I mean, can we skip offers that can’t be refused and the Paris we’ll always have? Thank you. Mine, with bonus points for identifying the movie and the actor:

1. “What we have here is failure to communicate.’’

2. “What f---in’ Chisholm Trail?’’

3. “Every once in awhile, you have to say what the f---. What the f--- gives you freedom. Freedom gives you opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.’’

4. “Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.’’

5. “Twelve rooms. Twelve vacancies.’’

If you want to know the answer to #2, read this and fall in love.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG with fans in Indy? Word was already leaking Saturday night at Lucas Oil that Andrew Luck was retiring, so when the QB left the field before the Colts game ended, home fans booed him.

I shouldn’t limit it to Colts fans. It was just their turn to be miserable human beings. Luck has been good to them through seven years of pain. The injuries he’s had – torn this, lacerated that – describe the victim of a serious car crash. That Luck chose a chance at health and a decent life over entertaining the dopes in the 500 Level should be applauded, not catcalled.

It’s also a very bad turn for the NFL, when one of its bigger stars decided to quit in his prime because of the pain he has incurred. The current generation of players, especially those drafted early and/or on their 2nd or 3rd contracts, have a different outlook than their predecessors, when it comes to sacrificing their bodies for a few million more dollars. Good for them, but not for a league that really can’t become any safer without altering its brand significantly. Here’s the column.

AND ANOTHER OPP TO BOO RAY LEWIS… He’s on Dancing With The Stars starting 9/16 on ABC.

TRIP REPORT. . . Maybe it was the hot, sunny weather or the end-of-summer long weekend. Beats me. All I know is, every place my son and I went in Asheville and its environs was packed with people. Nothing messes more with a mountain vacation than people.

There were so many people at the Sierra Nevada Brewery, we had to park a quarter-mile away. So many at the summit of Looking Glass Rock, we had to hide behind a couple massive pines for pretend privacy. So many following us to the top of the waterfall at Graveyard Fields, we’re considering dropping Graveyard from the hiking rota.

Even l’il ol Black Mountain is becoming chic and crowded. We have exactly one spot still guaranteed to be ours alone. And if I told you where it was, my son would have to kill me.

After trying any number of Asheville crafts over the years, I’ve concluded that the Cincinnati beer scene is better. The breweries are more pleasant, the product better across the board. That’s a big compliment for River City. Beer snobs love Asheville. One exception: Iron Rail IPA, at The Wedge in Asheville’s Arts District down by the river. It’s a top 3 IPA for me, right up there with Dogfish Head 30 Minute. Cool thing is, The Wedge has stayed small. Only place you can buy an Iron Rail, still, is at the source.

Still, routinely fantastic trip, our 20th year in a row. I bottle water from mountain streams, to boil and reboil and freeze into ice cubes equal to my Blanton’s and Taylor Small Batch. I judge my aging self against the 20-minute, 45-degree thigh-buster that is Lookout Mountain in Montreat. If I can do it without stopping, I’m happy. I’ve stopped only once, ever, and it wasn’t this year.

And then my mom died. Such is life.

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . Caught this one on Sirius Sunday, as we drove down to Woodford to pick up a bottle of double-oaked.