BOTH SIDES AGREE TO CHANGE VP DEBATE RULES, PALIN TO DEBATE CARIBOU "I am about to blow the opponent away." --Sarah Palin



Satire by R J Shulman

ST. LOUIS  (PTSD News)  In a stunning turn of events, Joe Biden has been replaced with a caribou for Thursdays vice presidential debate at Washington University. The media has been absolutely unfair and cruel to Governor Palin, said Rick Davis of the McCain campaign, so its only fair that she gets a level playing field for this debate. Finally, Sarah will get a fair shot, a Palin spokesperson said. We think with the new rules, this debate will be right on target. The caribou, named Nedib, has been flown into St. Louis from Barrow, Alaska. America get ready for a real shootout, Palin told a cheering crowd at an evangelical rally in Sikeston, Missouri. I am about to blow the opponent away. Clancy Franklin, a spokesperson for Joe Biden, said he was fine with the last minute change. She can debate a post, for all I care, Franklin said, Shell still come in second. We need Joe on the campaign trail. I am going to take time from my nap to watchicate this debate, said President [sic] Bush, because I have looked into the eyes of the caribou and I was able to get a sense of his soul. The lipstick crisis has already taken its toll as Helene Curtis, a leading lipstick manufacturer on the verge of bankruptcy, has just been taken over by the federal government. We cannot afford to have such a venerable institution like Helene Curtis fail simply because of their high exposure to selling sub-prime lipstick, a government official said. This issue is not about lipstick, Ralph Nader said, it is about a pig being a pig, even if lipstick has been applied to that pig. Sally Fineburg of PETA agreed, Pigs are in danger of being mistreated to such an extent by these politicians that they are going to become an endangered species. Trevor Markham of the Rand Institute disagreed, there will always be pork in Washington. The ABC poll said lipstick was the most important issue for Americans by more than a five-to-one margin over the economy, the war in Iraq, healthcare, the energy crisis and global warming. The poll has a margin of error of plus or minus 100 points. 01 October 2008 Visit R J Shulman on MySpace ***** To receive breaking news alerts from us, click here or the icon below. Email this page to a friend. Permanent URL for this page: http://www.legitgov.org/shulman_palin_debate_caribou_011008.html CLG Index