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Richard Hatch didn’t just play the game, he played the other contestants on the show. Hatch formed alliances, then moved on from them when it was no longer beneficial to him. He double-crossed everyone in his way, and somehow no one figured it out before it was too late. Viewersrooted for Hatch to get his comeuppance. Then, we rooted for him to win the whole thing — which he eventually did. Hatch won his million dollars, as 52-million people watched on television.

The success ofSurvivorled to the rise of many other similar shows, likeBig Brother, Amazing Race, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars and MasterChef, all with different backdrops but the same essential elimination format.Today, however, reality television has evolved into something less innocent, something more real, but also something more uncomfortable and often unwatchable. At some point, it all stopped being fun. Almost two decades afterSurvivor’s debut, the most recent reality show that conjured the same kind of obsessiveness from me was TLC’s90 Day Fiancé— but for completely different reasons.

Debuting in 2014, the show follows couples in the United States, of whom one of the members has arrived from a foreign country to apply for a K-1 visa. Under the conditions of this visa, which is exclusive to foreign fiancés of American citizens, the couple has 90 days to get married, otherwise the visa expires and the foreign-born member is sent home. The couples, who found each other online and are just meeting in person for the first time, try to navigate language and cultural barriers. But the clock is ticking from the very beginning. Those from a country outside the U.S. have only a brief amount of time to adjust to new surroundings, gain the approval of their new potential family members and, at the same time, decide within the 90-day period whether they’ve indeed found a suitable partner.