“I’ve been able to play 4 seasons in the same time it’s taken them to get to week 8,” stated Haybrook to The Nutmeg News. “And in three of the four seasons I won MLS Cup with the same roster that we are currently using to sit 10th in the Eastern Conference. They should hire ME to coach this team.”

With his latest save, Haybrook reportedly took to playing one game a week in the same schedule as the current team with the same opponent in order to fully simulate the 2019 season as he continues to win on whatever difficulty mode he is actually picking that he refused to disclose to our reporter at the time of this printing.

“After winning the cup three years in a row I finally set out a new challenge and I am playing one game at a time,” stated Haybrook. “The reality is that I’m still winning, so I don’t know what happened to give us this busted ass coach, but I can guarantee you that I would do a better chance of controlling Barco, Pity and Martinez than he has.”

Friends state that they are entirely overtired of hearing Haybrook compare the real and virtual seasons as he continually states that he could do better than current head coach Frank de Boer.

“I just want to go over to his place without hearing Reg talking about his season and figuring out that he is talking about virtual players and not the real ones,” stated good friend Matt Daniels. “I nearly freaked out the first time he told me that Darlington Nagbe had a season ending injury.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this when Haybrook blows up the squad, signs new players and wins the league again in one week on Amateur.