On Wednesday at noon, the House of Representatives kicked off its debate on the articles of impeachment against Donald Trump, an event that was expected to take six interminable hours, followed by a vote. Even before the proceedings got underway, two outcomes were all but certain: that the president would be impeached, with Democrats having more than enough people voting “yea” to get the job done, and that Republicans would crank the crazy to a 47.

Kicking things off was Representative Barry Loudermilk, who told his colleagues that even Jesus got a fairer shake than Trump before he was nailed to the cross. “When Jesus was falsely accused of treason, Pontius Pilate gave Jesus the opportunity to face his accusers,” Loudermilk said. “During that sham trial, Pontius Pilate afforded more rights to Jesus than Democrats have afforded this president in this process.”

Trump, of course, has ranted at length about the fact that he has supposedly been afforded less due process than the accused during the Salem Witch Trials, because he doesn’t understand that the House hearings were not a trial and that when the proceedings move to the Senate, he actually will be able to call witnesses. On the Jesus front, as the Washington Post points out, the man was effectively found guilty before his trial even began, which isn‘t the case for Jesus 2.0, who Mitch McConnell has already said will be acquitted no questions asked. Also, Jesus was literally crucified. So there’s that.

Factual issues aside, Representative Fred Keller was happy to continue with the JC theme, telling colleagues that he’d “pray” for the Democrats who’ve put Trump on the cross just like the Romans did, quoting the big guy himself who said at the time, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Later, taking up a slightly more recent historical antecedent, Representative Mike Kelly likened impeaching Trump to literally bombing America:

“On December 7,” Kelly said, “a horrific act happened in the United States, and it’s one that President Roosevelt said, ‘This is a date that will live in infamy.’ Today, December the 18, 2019, is another date that will live in infamy. When just because you hate the president of the United States and you can find no reason other than the fact that you're so blinded by your hate that you can’t see straight that you’ve decided the only way we can make sure this president doesn’t get elected again is to impeach him.”