But every now and then the fates grant those who flagrantly disregard their own well-being with a second chance.

Sometimes people do things that are less than brilliant. For every Joseph Lister developing important advances in sterile surgery, there is a Randy Quaid sticking lit firecrackers into his own urethra.

5 Suicide Cures Depression

Meet The Major, a 55-year-old British army veteran and known asshole who, after returning to civilian life, became "bad-tempered and depressed" (which seems to indicate that he was probably Irish). He began drinking excessively and slid further and further into debt until one morning he got out of bed, dressed himself sharply, combed his hair neatly and shot himself through the brain with a .38 revolver.



HOO-AH!

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Then he cooked breakfast.

His wife found him later that morning (either he used a silencer or she is totally deaf) eating calmly with blood leaking out of both sides of his head. She called a doctor, but there wasn't a whole lot more he could do other than swab out the bullet holes and try to keep the Major's brain from sliding out like a Go-Gurt stick.



To help you fully visualize that horrifying analogy.

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The Major was kept at the hospital as an inpatient for five months, during which time he recovered nicely but was a bit disoriented, which is to be expected after a piece of metal rockets through your skull at the speed of sound.

Once he was released, the Major no longer suffered from his previous symptoms of depression, moodiness and delusions. He didn't even remember shooting himself and denied it had ever happened.

In a twist that you would call bullshit on if you saw it in a movie, his attempt at suicide had apparently cured his mental disorder and he lived happily ever after. Seriously, what are the odds?