Who’s the greatest family in NFL history?

It’s the Matthews family, I’m not going to keep you in suspense.

But who’s the next best? Is it the Mannings? The Longs? The Gronkowskis? And why? A bunch of click-baity slideshows will pop up if you google “best NFL families” but after some searching I couldn’t list that was satisfying.

So, I pulled a list of football family relations off of Wikipedia, threw those names in a spreadsheet, and then pulled up each of those individual players on Pro Football Reference. PFR has a statistic, Weighted Approximate Value, that they use to compare players across eras. They explains AV as:

“Approximate value is our attempt to put a single number on each player-season since 1960 so that we can (very approximately) compare across years and across positions. See this blog page for all the details.”

Like they say, it’s not a perfect measurement, it probably underrates some players and overrates others, but it’s the best/only system of it’s kind I’m aware of. Also, AV might have it’s flaws, but Rob Gronkowski finished his career with 69 weighted AV points, therefore at least some of the time, it is exactly, dead nuts on.

So, I pumped every family member’s weighted AV into the spread sheet and boom! Now we’ve got an imperfect, but uniform number for comparing NFL families. So what were the results?

When you look at total family weighted AVs the top two families seem like obvious choices on any NFL Family Power Ranking, the Matthewses are first, and the Mannings are second, so the system works. But it gets cool after that. I was hoping this list would help identify underrated NFL families, and it did.

Unless you’re a Bears or Saints fan over the age of 40, you might not know about the Hilgenbergs, but they’re a family of some of the most bad-ass offensive linemen in NFL history. I had never heard of them until I fell down this rabbit hole, but they’re sitting in 3rd place in Family AV. In 5th place there’s a big, extended family I never new was related. There’s more though.

The list has all kinds of awesome nuggets. For example, have you ever wondered which family is better, at football, the Watts or the Kelces? Well, now we have some data on that. And it keeps going… Were the Hasselbecks better than the Grieses? Are the Pounceys better than the Kalils? Are the Colquitts better than the Zendejas boys were? In these uncertain times, its good that we can provide some solid answers to some of the life’s most important questions.

These rankings have a Ryan brothers sized blind spot though. Coaches, referees, and other families of NFL contributors obviously deserve some mention in this discussion, but AV has nothing to say about them. At some point I might try to bump this list out to include families whose impact isn’t captured by AV, but for now its players only. Apologies to Buddy, Rex, & Rob.

With that being said, here’s a link to the full list. And, so that exists in a click-baity format too, below are the top 25 NFL Families according to Career Weighted AV:

24 Tied (132 Points) Payton — Walter, Eddie, Jarrett — Brothers, Walter’s Son

Fans called Walter Payton “Sweetness.” His brother Eddie, who was a journeyman kick returner, was only 5'8". I think its a crime that his nickname wasn’t “Sweet and Low.”

24. Tied (132 Points) Johnson/ Thomas — Keyshawn Johnson, Michael Thomas — Uncle & Nephew

According to wikipedia Key hosted an interior design show on A&E for one season. It might have lasted longer if they had called it “Just Give me the Damn Ottoman”

22. Tied (133 Points) Bailey — Champ, Boss — Brothers

I like to imagine that Champ and Boss were given normal names like Joe or Mike, but that people kept just kept calling them Champ and Boss, the same way you’d say, “What’s up Slugger?” for someone who’s name you can’t remember, and their names just stuck.

22. Tied (133 Points) Saul — Bill, Rich, Ron — Brothers

Most of the families on this list have one guy who puts up huge career AV numbers, and then the other guys just had a cup of coffee. All three of the Saul brothers had legit but not amazing NFL careers AV-wise. Saul good, man.

20. Tied (135 Points) Rodgers — Aaron, Jordan — Brothers

I have a problem with this one. Jordan contributed exactly 0 points to these brothers combined 135 AV points. I thought about filtering families like this where one family member does everything and the other contributes nothing but that kinda thing that goes on in normal families too, right?

20. Tied (135 Points) Olsen — Merlin, Orrin, Phil -Brothers

Merlin Olsen also comes in first on list of the most magical first names in football history.

18. Tied (139 Points) Metcalf — Terry, Eric, Terrance, DK — Father & Son, Father & Son, Cousins

This one might be controversial. I don’t know how closely the two sets of Metcalfs are but they’re getting the benefit of the doubt here and getting lumped together.

Eric was a kind of legit running back in Tecmo Super Bowl, but why would you ever play as The Browns in that game? If you’re playing Tecmo with anyone other than Bo Jackson or Christian Okoye I don’t even want to talk to you.

18. Tied (139 Points) Washington — Ted Sr, Ted Jr — Father & Son

Finally, we can put to bed the decades long debate of which father-son D-line tandem from the 70's and 90's was better: the Ted Washingtons, or the Sam Adamses. Sam Sr and Sam Jr only put up a total of 126 combined AV points, 13 shy of the Washingtons.

17. (141 Points) Lott/ Nece — Ronnie Lott, Ryan Nece — Father & Son

Ronnie Lott is a lot like a Game of Thrones character. He’s a bad dude that went around hitting people, part of his finger got cut off, and a he has a son with a different last name.

16. (147 Points) Sharper — Jamie, Darren — Brothers

Depending on how you feel about dog fighting, the Sharper brothers might be the most problematic family on this list because of Darren being a serial rapist and all. (Aaron Hernandez’s brother never played in the NFL)

15. (148 Points) Upshaw — Gene, Marvin — Brothers

Marvin Upshaw was an awesome player in his own right, but his brother upstaged him. Gene was one of the best offensive linemen in NFL history and the head of the NFLPA for a long time. Too bad for Marvin, but at least he didn’t have to live his life being named Eugene.

14. (149 Points) Sharpe — Sterling, Shannon — Brothers

Sterling wearing a jacket that’s almost the same color as the HOF gold jackets, to his brother’s induction is kind of like the sister of the bride wearing white to a wedding, right? Was he trying to fool people into thinking he’d already been inducted into the Hall? C’mon man.

13. (157 Points) Hannah — Herb, John, and Charlie -Father & Sons

I’m not sure exactly what year Forrest Gump was supposed to have graduated from Alabama, but John Hannah might have blocked for him (If he had been a real person). John and his brothers Charley and David all played for the Tide, and John is a HOFer.

10. Tied (158 Points) Wisniewski — Steve, Leo, Stefen — Brothers, Leo’s Son

I love the Vince Vaughn line from “The Breakup” after he gets beaten up, and he says he’s going to come back at the brother with “some Polocks who don’t have a goddamn future.”

Well, I don’t know if the Wisniewskis are actually of Polish decent, and they do have a pretty bright future. So I guess that reference might not apply to this at all, but anyway they’re tied for 10th.

10. Tied (158 Points) Griese — Bob, Brian — Father & Son

Here’s a mini power rankings of books I’d rather read than Undefeated by Bob and Brian Griese:

The Paint Drying Almanac A phone book for the town of Bland, Virginia A Jeffery Dahmer Cookbook Honey Boo Boo’s Memoirs I Hope they Server Beer in Hell by Stephen Hawking

10. Tied (158 Points) Vick/ Brooks — Michael Vick, Marcus Vick, & Aaron Brooks — Brothers & Cousins

They would have made it higher on this list except for Mike’s off-field issues, but, if its any consolation, the Vicks are solidly in 1st place in my next power rankings project: The Best Dog Fighting Families in Dog Fighting History.

9. (165 Points) Little — Larry, David - Brothers

That is a picture of Larry David, not Larry Little or David Little. I couldn’t find any good pictures of the Little brothers together, so this was way easier. Larry Little is in the HOF though. He was pretty, pretty, pretty good.

8. (168 Points) Cunningham — Sam, Randall — Brothers

Sam isn’t that cool of a name, but Bam is an awesome name! Bam Cunningham is another dude who had a pretty solid career but is totally overshadowed by his brother. For a modern comparison, he finished his career with more AV points than Larry Johnson, and he doesn’t even have a bat shit crazy twitter account.

7. (182 Points) Rice/ Matthews — Jerry Rice, Jordan Matthews -Uncle and Nephew

Julian Edelman took Jerry Rice’s daughter to prom. If they had gotten married the Rice/ Matthews/ Edelman family would catapult into 3rd place in these rankings. C’mon Jules!

6. (184 Points) Long — Howie, Chris, and Kyle — Father and Sons

I’ve never seen the movie Firestorm, but the trailer is pretty sick though. Now that Chris and Kyle are retired we’ve got to start working on a sequel to Firestorm with the whole family in it. I’m thinking, like Sharknado, but with fire instead. So maybe there’s a bunch of grizzlies that are on fire and the Longs have to fight them off by throwing axes at them. Who says no to this?

5. (187 Points) — Santana Moss, Sinorice Moss, Patrick Peterson, Bryant McFadden, Walter McFadden — Cousins

These guys probably had some epic games of tag at Thanksgiving when they were growing up.

4. (209 Points) Barber — Ronde & Tiki — Twin Brothers

The Barbers, the Longs, Aaron Brooks, and Jamie Sharper all have University of Virginia connections. There must be something about Bodos that enhances dynastic football abilities

3. (210 Points) Hilgenberg — Wally, Jerry, Jay, and Joel- Brothers, and Sons

These might be the baddest dudes to step out of the cornfields of Iowa since those ghosts that kept striking out Kevin Costner.

2. (369 Points) Manning — Archie, Peyton, Eli — Father & Sons

Just think how high they’d be if Cooper never hurt his neck! Now that Eli finally retired the pressure is on Arch now to get them past the Matthewses, into the number one spot.

1. (371 Points) Matthews/ Niklas — Clay Sr, Clay Jr, Bruce, Clay III, Casey, Jake, Kevin, Mike, Troy Niklas

I think the Matthewses are kind of like the O’Doyles in Billy Madison, there’s bunch of them and they go around bullying everyone.

They’re a pretty badass bunch of dudes, and rightly deserve the top spot in these rankings.

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