ODD TRUTHS: ROBBING THE SPIRITS OF WESTMINSTER ABBEY

Not every magician was fortunate enough to get on the royal payroll in Stuart England. The unlucky ones often had to resort to subtle hustling to make a living; drifting from job to job, trading their magic for power and influence. A few of these spellcasters used the “Solomonic arts” to secretly acquire forbidden treasure. Sometimes they even attempted to steal from the spirit world. In fact, that’s what reportedly happened at Westminster Abbey in the premier daemonic heist of seventeenth-century London.

According to varying accounts, the event in question took place one night in 1634 and involved David Ramsay (the royal watchmaker), William Lilly (astrologer and friend of Elias Ashmole), and a group of more than thirty men armed with “Mosiacal” (dowsing) wands. After Ramsay received a tip indicating that there was treasure somewhere in the crypt of the abbey, he gained permission to access the church from Dean Williams, the Bishop of Lincoln. The following adventure ensued:

“One winter’s night, Davy Ramsey, with several gentlemen, myself, and Scott, entered the cloysters; we played the hazel rod round about the cloyster [sic]; upon the west side of the cloysters [sic] the rods turned one over another, an argument that the treasure was there. The labourers digged at least six foot deep, and then we met with a coffin; but in regard it was not heavy, we did not open, which we afterwards much repented.” “From the cloysters [sic] we went into the Abbey church, where, upon a sudden, (there being no wind when we began) so fierce, so high, so blustering and loud a wind did rise, that we verily believed the west-end of the church would have fallen upon us; our rods would not move at all; the candles and torches, all but one, were extinguished, or burned very dimly.” “John Scott, my partner, was amazed, looked pale, knew not what to think or do, until I gave directions and command to dismiss the daemons ; which when done, all was quiet again, and each man returned unto his lodging late, about twelve o’clock at night; I could never since be induced to join with any in such-like actions.” “The true miscarriage of the business, was by reason of so many people being present at the operation; for there was about thirty, some laughing, others deriding us; so that if we had not dismissed the daemons, I believe most part of the Abbey church had been blown down; secrecy and intelligent operators, with a strong confidence and knowledge of what they are doing, are best for this work.”

In retrospect, Lilly’s mistake seems to be that he failed to establish a working relationship with the disembodied abbey guardians. Perhaps if he had been as smooth as John Dee or as sweet-talking as Edward Kelley, he would have been able to come to a mutual financial agreement.

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