You got all that? Me neither. But let’s try to break down what the A.V. Club called the “apex” of the Internet. Non-human horse Twilight Sparkle is to My Little Pony fans as Alison Brie is to Human Beings (and human beings); she’s the breakout star on My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and it’s not hard to see why. Equine knows how to work that flank star. (Also, according to this website, she “practices turning rocks into formal attire,” which is useful, I guess.) Anyway, a man claiming to be Twilight’s fiancé recently sent an angry letter to, according to MTV Geek, “DeviantArt artist Kevinsano who partakes in the creation and ‘appreciation’ of erotic My Little Pony art.”

Been there, except replace “My Little Pony art” with “Dave Matthews Band cakes.” Here’s the letter.

And then:

But don’t forget:

…the Aristocrats! The Internet is currently ripping itself in two, with one side fully in support of this anonymous man and his beautiful, pure, fulfilling love to one of God’s greatest creatures, while the other wonders how the f*ck a human can take a fictional purple horse out for “social activities.” Pick a side, folks. This is the end of line.

#teamtwilight

(AV Club, via MTV Geek)