In one of Hollywood’s most iconic sex scenes, Jack and Rose rocked the boat with a steamy sex scene inside a vehicle aboard the Titanic. But what if the infamous scene positioned Rose on top of Jack while she pegged him? I bet Jack would have enjoyed himself more and perhaps even tried harder to survive the shipwreck. Anal sex and anal play is so underrepresented in mainstream society, and it’s unfortunate because this invisibility perpetuates the tight-assed culture we have about sex.

My asshole is heaven on earth, and yours can be too. My curiosity began early when I cozied up to a sharpie in the 7th grade. Anal play has since held a pivotal role in my sex life and sexual expression, as I started experimenting with cucumbers, dicks, butt plugs, 8” dildos (that one hurt) and even engineered prostate stimulators!

Now, anal play isn’t for everyone, nor am I here to tell everyone that they will love it; after all, our sexual practices or lack thereof vary from person to person. But, for those of you who are curious, I think its worth exploring. A major misconception is that anal play is just for gay men. Umm… no! But seriously, anal play is natural and whether you’re queer or as straight as they come, you can enjoy anal sex and explore a whole new world of fun and pleasure. And if you’re concerned with reconciling your masculinity with the penetrated role, then you should probably deal with your draconian gender politics before continuing to read this.

Now, anal play isn’t for everyone, nor am I here to tell everyone that they will love it; after all, our sexual practices or lack thereof vary from person to person. But, for those of you who are curious, I think its worth exploring.

Let’s start with some anal basics. Our anuses have a ton of nerve endings, which can intensify orgasms and even lead to an orgasm without stimulating other sex organs. And for those of us out there with a prostate, (I learned earlier this year that some women are born without prostates mindblown) a few inches of penetration can stimulate the prostate gland and leave you overwhelmed with a warm, pleasurable feeling. Pair this penetration with masturbation or oral and you are in paradise. Those who have vaginas can expect the tip of the clitoral body to be stimulated as well, and, for twice the fun, rub your clitoris at the same time.

If you’re reading this and clenching with excitement to try this out later, here are a few tips. I would recommend a nice bowel movement and maybe even a shower before any anticipated anal play, unless you like to ride dirty (no judgments). If you are completely new to this, the best way to ease into penetration is to begin with a lubed finger up there while masturbating. Go in slowly, and don’t be shy! Twirl your finger around a bit and curl your toes. There is a really good chance that this will intensify your orgasm and make you love life again.

For those that really enjoyed fingering, try incorporating it into your routine with your sexual partners. Of course, make sure all parties are comfortable and consenting and try the fingering in the bedroom. If you decide to graduate to dicks, dildos or other toys for greater pleasure, make sure you have ample amount of lube, and work your way up. Foreplay is elementary in the world of anal. Also, using condoms are not only a healthy practice, but also allows for easy cleanup.

Here are some more tips: remember your asshole has feelings too. Speaking from experience, your anus doesn’t want to be penetrated everyday. It took me a long time to develop my asshole whisperer skills, and though Aladdin (that’s his name) loves to ride the magic carpet, moderation is greatly appreciated. Too much penetration and too ambitious of shafts can strain your new found best friend, and that balance will take you a while to discover, so in the meantime take it slow, ride low and ride free.