CLEVELAND—Speaking to reporters while polishing a display of eastern Galician embroidery, the executive director of the Cleveland Ukrainian Museum-Archives, Taras Szmagala Sr., confirmed Monday that employees had busily spent the past several weeks gearing up for the inevitable onrush of visitors during the Republican National Convention. “When all the delegates and party officials start showing up today, we’ll be ready with all hands on deck—we’ve got staff working extra shifts, a brand-new audio tour for our Easter egg and famine exhibits, and several extra boxes of pamphlets stacked under the ticket desk for easy access,” said Szmagala, noting that the museum gift shop had just received new shipments of Kiev coat-of-arms patches and varenyky cookbooks to handle the additional demand during the four-day meeting to officially nominate the GOP’s presidential candidate. “I also rented a dozen more rope posts so we can control the line and have it wrap neatly along the side of the building when the RNC events let out and people start making their way over here. Our goal is to get everyone inside and learning about Ukrainian history as quickly and seamlessly as possible.” Szmagala then reportedly double-checked his supply of cardstock for printing out new membership cards, saying he didn’t want to be caught off guard again like he was during this year’s NBA Finals.

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