The NFL was able to turn the release of its schedule into a three-hour made-for-television extravaganza.

So why not have an appeals hearing schedule release show?

According to Gary Myers of the New York Daily News, Tom Brady’s appeal of his #DeflateGate suspension will commence next Tuesday at 9:30 a.m. at the league’s 345 Park Avenue offices.

We await further reports on the catering and arrangement of chairs around the table.

Commissioner Roger Goodell will hear the appeal, having refused to recuse himself. Brady has already referred to the Wells Report as containing “dubious, contradictory and mischaracterized circumstantial evidence.”

Frankly, we were hoping he’d have called it “lewd, lascivious, salacious and outrageous.”