There has never been a Bucs season like this.

And that's saying a lot.

Decades from now, your children will gather their children around and tell them the story. Tiny eyes will grow wide with wonder, and the question will be asked.

"Mommy, Daddy, was Uber before teleportation?"

But first comes the slithering segmented worm that is the 2018 season, a drama/comedy in two acts, separated by an awkward line of demarcation.

First comes games against the Saints, Eagles, Steelers — the sets of menacing jaws — to be played without suspended Jameis Winston at quarterback, with Ryan Fitzpatrick taking the snaps.

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Then there's The After, the final 13 games.

We're putting together a viewing guide. It will suggest wearing protective goggles.

It's two seasons in one, awkward and more awkward, the three-game nightmare and the 16-game nightmare.

First, there are the simple mathematics. The Bucs will emerge from Winston's suspension 0-3 or 1-2 or 2-1, or 3-0 if that's your choice, though it brings mandatory drug testing with it.

Any decent Bucs fan's eyes are crossing over FitzWinston. Or is it WinPatrick?

Do you pull for 3-0 and Fitzpatrick keeping the starter's job over Winston, or a strong 2-1 with Fitzpatrick still on the job?

Or do you pull for the long game, for 1-2, 0-3, knowing that any real hope for the future rides with Winston?

Hey, no one said this would be easy.

Compared with this, the Super Bowl season was a milk run. So was 0-14.

But this Bucs season will be muddy and murky. We're not talking about the 1972 Dolphins, when veteran quarterback Earl Morrall minded the store — and, well —before giving way to Bob Griese, who finished out the perfect season.

There is so much riding on 2018, and the Bucs begin it in a hole, with one of the toughest opening schedules in recent memory. #Bucs #Buccaneers @TB_Times @mjfennelly https://t.co/oXoOXucgrS — TampaBayTimesSports (@TBTimes_Sports) August 31, 2018

And this isn't Tom Brady sitting out a suspension in 2016, as he did after Deflategate, with Jimmy Garoppolo and Jacoby Brissett standing in, before Brady came back to win another Super Bowl.

There's no such pie in the sky here. No matter who plays quarterback, the Bucs aren't making the playoffs, not in the NFC, where 10 wins will be the minimum price of admission.

It will be bad enough for the Bucs in the loaded NFC South, where the Panthers, Falcons and Saints will gather around, like lions picking at a gazelle on the Serengeti.

But do we need to add complete confusion to the equation?

How do Winston fans pull for a 3-0 start? That really helps their client?

But do you really want Fitzpatrick to be FitzAwful? That's 0-3, and that's' your team, your ball season, right there.

No need to get pushy. There's room in our Bucs Cannon Fodder Facebook group for everyone. Interact with Times staffers and like-minded fans, find news and commentary on the team, vote in polls, listen to podcasts and more at https://t.co/e3bH8aG6hF. #Bucs #Buccaneers @TB_Times pic.twitter.com/dnVhfVrWkm — TampaBayTimesSports (@TBTimes_Sports) August 31, 2018

No one said this would be easy.

It's taking the 3/16th wrench to everything.

A recipe for success is not built on 3/16th of a cup of disturbing reality.

The Bucs open in New Orleans, then host reigning Super Bowl champion Philadelphia before playing Pittsburgh on a Monday night, the evening Tony Dungy is inducted into the team's Ring of Honor.

There is the Ring of Honor and then there are those first three games — the ring of fire.

Anyone else's head hurt yet?

Contact Martin Fennelly at mfennelly@tampabay.com or (813) 731-8029. Follow @mjfennelly.