I’ve been impacted by generalized anxiety to one degree or another since just after High School. If you weren’t anxious in school, I think the years immediately following it are a common birthplace for GAD. You go from a familiar existence surrounded by life guides, parental figures, and people you know, out into the ‘real world’, a world of unknown situations and learning to parent yourself.

Recently however I’ve been suffering from a higher level of social anxiety than normal. I think it’s because I’m nearing the end of my twenties and I don’t go out into the world as often as I used to. I don’t go to parties, I definitely don’t go clubbing, and I tend to avoid large crowds where I can — a lot of my social needs are fed by work, or small games nights with my closest friends (I even get anxious before these).

My brain isn’t calloused to social situations the way it used to be. I find myself entertaining an internal monologue dedicated to questioning what everyone thinks about me and how I’m coming across to people I’ve just met. As a result, I’ve been suffering from what is currently easiest described as an ‘anxious stomach’.

For me the ‘anxious stomach’ feeling is more than that ‘butterflies in your stomach’ feeling — it’s more like a small bowling ball sitting the top of your intestines. It’s that ache you feel before going to a social event, or before an unfamiliar situation, or even just while thinking about the things that make you anxious.

While there are things that you can do to help settle an ‘anxious stomach’ — deep breathing, getting some fresh air, going for a light walk, drinking some water, meditating, etc. Sometimes it just doesn’t cut it. Sometimes you need to be able to say “hey, I’ve got some serious ‘anxious stomach’ going on and won’t be able to make it”. The problem with saying that however is that you’re often met with inquiries like “are you sure you didn’t just eat something bad?”, or “how bad is it, are you sure you can’t push through?”, or even just a simple “what do you mean?”. When you’re experiencing a bout of serious anxiety the last thing you want to do is explain yourself.

Not everyone has experienced a proper ‘anxious stomach’. A majority of people compare it to that ‘butterflies in the stomach’ feeling you get before a job interview or a first date. An individual should be able to tell their family and friends clearly and concisely exactly how they’re feeling without having to clarify or qualify it. So they can clearly understand exactly what you mean, not necessarily to help, but just so they can be aware and provide support as needed

While I’ve learned to be more effective with communication around mental health (and just generally, really — adulting is hard) it still baffles that it can be so hard to just say “hey, I’m not doing okay, I need some time (or a break, or to leave)”. That’s why I think it’s time we had common, defined terms for these commonly experienced situations.