Example of the stereotype cycle:

Teenaged Me: *Sees every black guy on TV eating fried chicken*

Teenaged Me: *Sees a black guy in a food court eating fried chicken*

Teenaged Me: “Ah, I guess all black people really do love fried chicken!” *makes a note in Nancy Drew journal*

In reality, if John, a black dude, loves fried chicken, it’s because of the same reason I love it: our taste buds light up when we bite into a juicy piece.

Maybe that bite even sparks a fond memory.

Also, when I smoke weed my black friend Terrence, we’re getting high for similar reasons: to get super paranoid for 20 min, then turn on some music and talk about aliens until Dominos arrives. If people view him as “lazy” because of that, then I guess so am I.

As a child of two loving parents, I got lucky.

They raised me to see everyone as equals, regardless of how they look. Equality of opportunity and telling the truth stood at the forefront of my parents’ principles.

Even though my parents raised me to stand against racism, I still adopted racial biases, which isn’t their fault. I grew up with computers and phones at my disposal.

The web bombarded me with stereotypical content.

There’s a stark difference between being racist and having racial biases.

But people conflate the two, which makes racial biases hard to talk about without being called a racist.

Definition of racism (Merriam Webster): a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race.

Definition of racial bias (my definition): Assuming or having an expectation of someone else’s taste, behavior, or interests based on their skin color.

I never viewed race as a “primary determinant” or capable of producing an “inherent superiority,” which is why it’s harmful to expand the definition of racism. Diluting what it means to be racist gives cover to actual racists and prevents honest conversation.

Everyone adopts racial biases.

Whether you’re Black, White, Hispanic, or Asian, I imagine all people inherit stereotypes of the people with whom they don’t regularly interact.

For a Black teenager growing up in a predominantly Black neighborhood, I’m sure he has internalized some of the many White stereotypes.

Here’s an example of me realizing one of my racial biases:

Me: What are you listening to?

Black friend: Avril Lavigne

Me: *Thinks* Hmmm, that’s not what I was expecting..

Me: *Then thinks* Wait, why wasn’t I expecting that? Why was I expecting anything at all?

Me: I know nothing about your musical tastes because of your skin color, nor should I have approached this interaction with expectations based on your skin color.

Black friend: Cool dude, can you pass the fried chicken?

This stereotype breakdown has been happening a lot recently, in different ways.

So, how did I break down the stereotypes I absorbed?

One way was through sports.

As a pitcher throughout high school and college, I competed with and against baseball players of all different backgrounds (Black, White, Hispanic, etc.). I also hung out with athletes on other teams like football and basketball.

We had long conversations in locker rooms, talked about relationship problems, shared playlists, and occasionally smoked weed as we worried about NCAA testing (I think it’s time we let college athletes smoke weed by the way. You can hand me a bottle of Vicodin, but one joint is a no-no?)