Trying to cater to the male gaze is a losing game. The more you play by the rules, the more perfect you’re expected to appear. That’s why I stopped dressing for men and just started wearing a loose necktie every single day like Avril Lavigne circa 2002.

Instead of trying to look “sexy” or “cool” I’m now resigned to look like a little baby tomboy who’s half dressing like she has to go to work as a grown man but doesn’t understand how. Suck on that, men.

It used to be that when I walked down the street, men would shout things like, “Nice ass,” or, “Hey baby.” I was so done with that. Now when I’m walking around in my tight tank and athletic socks, they ask, “Do you need help with that tie?”

No thanks, dudes. I like it nice and loose.

Sometimes I’ll throw a sweatband on my wrist or a bunch of bracelets. But the finishing touch is always a hastily thrown on tie that lets everyone know, “I don’t know how to wear this because I don’t even really know why I’m wearing it in the first place.”

Sure, I’ve gotten some weird reactions. People ask, “Why?” or, “Isn’t that look pretty played out?” But that’s the kind of thing you have to expect when you’re messing with the patriarchy. The powers that be want ties real tight. And to be honest they don’t really want us women wearing them at all. So it’s a double F-U.

I don’t think I’ll ever go back to obsessing about my looks and putting on a bodycon dress for the benefit of the men in the room. Nope. If you need me, I’ll be over here in a pink lip, baby tee, and a tie that is off the fucking leash.