Bullying and suicide can go hand-in-hand

Bullying and suicide too often go hand-in-hand.

When a teen is being harassed, he or she can feel dejected and hopeless. "It can really leave you in a place where you wonder `What is the point anymore?'" said Dr. Robin Stern, assistant director of special projects for Yale University's Center for Emotional Intelligence.

Thus it's unsurprising, if profoundly sad, to hear that the suicide of 15-year-old Greenwich High School student Bartlomiej "Bart" Palosz might have been linked to bullying.

Palosz died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound Tuesday, after the first day of school, part of a tragic trend of young people taking their own lives. According to a 2010 report from the state Department of Public Health, suicide was the third leading cause of death among Connecticut residents age 15 to 19, behind accidents and homicide. It's also a leading cause of death nationwide, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The CDC states about 4,600 people aged 10 to 24 commit suicide each year, making it the third leading cause of death nationwide.

Not long after Palosz's death was made public, reports began to surface that the teen had been bullied, a connection that many experts said isn't uncommon.

There's a variety of research showing a relationship between suicide and bullying, including a 2008 Yale studying showing that children tormented by peers were anywhere from two to nine times more likely to have suicidal thoughts.

"Teenage suicide is complicated and many factors can go into it," said Aaron Krasner, unit chief of the Adolescent Transitional Living Program at Silver Hill Hospital in New Canaan. "Bullying can be one of those factors."

Bullying can take many forms, from name-calling, to harassment online to actual physical harm. Krasner said this abuse is so damaging to teens because they're already at a vulnerable time in their lives. "Teenage bullying is particularly noxious because most teens are struggling with self-esteem regulation," he said. "Bullying can become a multiplier" of the problems a teen is already experiencing.

More Information Seeking help

If you or someone close to you is having suicidal thoughts, call the United Way of Connecticut Infoline at 211 to be connected to a local crisis service.

Other options are to call the National Hopeline Network, at 1-800-SUICIDE or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.

Stern said teens who are bullied often give off a variety of signals -- many of which are, not surprisingly, similar to signs that a child has suicidal feelings. These include anxiety, a reluctance to go to school, and a change in their behavior.

But Krasner said bullying is just one potential contributor to suicidal feelings in young people. Others can include mental illness and substance abuse.

At least one expert agreed that it can be nearly impossible to know why a young person takes his or her life. In a case like Palosz's "there are so many unknowns," said Jessica Welt, director of crisis services for the Child Guidance Center of Southern Connecticut. The center serves young people in Stamford, Greenwich, New Canaan and Darien.

Welt said the important thing is to learn to recognize signs that a child is troubled and could be considering suicide. These include withdrawing from people around them, and talking about harming themselves.

Welt suggested that parents be particularly alert in the wake of a highly publicized suicide, as that is a potential trigger.

"When something like this tragedy happens, anyone who is vulnerable could be even more at risk," she said.

She suggested parents speak directly to a child if there are any concerns.

"Do not be afraid to talk about it," Welt said. "Do not be afraid to say `I'm worried about...' "

All the experts agreed that, if a parent suspects his or her child has suicidal feelings, help should be sought immediately.

"If you have any whiff of suicidal (thoughts), be in touch with your primary care provider," Krasner said. The doctor can then connect the family with mental health resources who can intervene.

If a parent suspects a child is in crisis, Welt recommended calling a service like the one she runs for the Child Guidance Center. "Sometimes, it's not enough to offer a supportive ear and you need to seek help," she said.

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