From the 14th of July to the 12th of August, twenty of the world’s finest wrestlers will go through the meat grinder that is the G1, a pretty much daily tournament that demands the highest level of tenacity, effort and skill, all for the hopes to potentially take home the converted trophy, and gain a main event spot at Wrestle Kingdom 13.

This year’s G1 looks especially enticing, with multiple individual stories providing extra edge at each stage of the tournament. Will the Bullet Club civil war slow down the efforts of Kenny Omega and co? Will Okada get his groove back? And just what will happen when Omega and his newly reunited partner Kota Ibushi face off against each other on the last day of Block B? The truth is, none of these really matter.

Are we sure to see some fine graps for a solid month? Yes, but that pales in comparison to the highlight of each year’s G1; the outfits each man has chosen to wear at the pre-tournament press conference. While the rest of the wrestling world will spend the next few arguing over 0.25 difference in star rankings over a botched dive, I’ve taken it upon myself to judge the competitors of what truly matters.

Hiroshi Tanahashi

Two-time winner, a seasoned pro. The 41 year old Tanahashi starts the show strong with a trademark confidence that screams “still easily fucking got it”. Tanahashi is at the stage of his career now where he’s comfortable enough to step away a tired grey or navy suit, without going into “cooky veteran trying to keep up” territory.

Still the GOAT. ★★★★ 1/4

Togi Makabe

There’s two types of fashion decisions an older pro can take when it comes to the G1. Either go for the more sophisticated, but still adventurous choice, like Tanahashi, or just grab a five year suit you wore at a mate’s wedding once from the closet and head for the door, not even bothering to spray deodorant on the old beer stain that sits right in the middle of the crotch area. I dig the chain, and Makabe will forever be the one to pull that look off, but not while it rests on top of a polka dot tie. Still, it’s not cartoony enough to totally rag on.

Yer Da. ★★1/2

Michael Elgin

The less said about Big Mike the better, but he’s here in all trashy glory, so let’s get right to it. I don’t think anyone was expecting Elgin to rank highly here, but red formal shirts just do not work unless your name is Saul Goodman. Another shoddy tie completes the look alongside an average waistcoat, that goes above average for the sole factor that it covers up most of that awful, awful shirt. At least it all fits proper.

Red. Shirt. ★ 1/2

Jay White

Oh Jay. Poor little Jay tries so hard every single time, but somehow never stops being that mid 20s guy still drinking monster and listening to Kasabian. He swears they’re still good, and that their newest album “isn’t that bad” and that you should “give it a go”. You never will. He has the right idea with the modern, very “topman” style floral waistcoat and tie combo, but his face just makes the whole thing scream “try-hard 17 year old at prom who think his tie will make up for the fact he’s the kid who wet himself two years ago on a school trip.

Next year m8. ★★

Evil

Actually you know what? At least Jay did try. While I’m simply not a fan of the final fantasy coat, I’d be able to stomach seeing it in a ring entrance, but not the G1 Press Conference, Evil, not the big one. I hope you’re happy Evil, you ranked below Big Mike somehow. Shirts cost £10, stay on theme.

Tut-tut. ★

Yoshi-Hashi

I don’t know if it’s because it’s straight after Evil’s blatant foregoing of rules, but I actually don’t this outfit. Yeah, like Makabe, it’s obviously the old scrunched up suit, but for a guy that, let’s be honest, no one will be really focusing on, it’s a solid effort that says “Yeah, I’m here. Been here a while actually”.

Well done. ★★★

Bad Luck Fale

Yes big man, get in there. Dressed in pretty much exactly what Yoshi-Hashi is wearing, Fale manages to do the opposite of what Jay White did by making the regular seem cooler. Maybe it’s the weight-loss, maybe it’s the chain, maybe it’s the fact he can flip the finger without coming across like a non Japanese wrestler who has just realised he can get away with swearing, but Fale simply oozes class. Never doubt the underboss.

Fuck ’Em. ★★★★

Hangman Page

“They always say yee haw they never ask haw yee.” Page has gone for a somewhat themed style outfit, which always risky, but he pulls it off okay here. The problem is, the cowboy theme is just so fun to mock, and I’m afraid to say at this point in time, Page doesn’t seem to have enough of the irony factor to pull of this just yet. One to the watch in years to come, just cheer up a bit kid and you’ll be pulling off texan steakhouse owner in no time.

Thank god there’s no rope. ★★★ 1/2

Minoru Suzuki

I can’t work out if Suzuki is stylish or not. Flip through his instagram and amongst the thousands of lattes and sponsored sock posts and you’ll find a few pictures which will make you go “yeah, he dresses well”. But after thinking about it for a while, I just can’t decide whether this true, or if Suzuki’s style is actually that of a Japanese Da, that his hat blazer combo is actually equivalent to a flatcap, and for that reason alone, I cannot say this is anything more than middling.

Don’t hurt me. ★★1/2

Kenny Omega

Let’s be honest, unless your Elgin, that title alone makes the outfit seem cool, so despite the fact it’s a pretty standard grey affair from Kenny, the title of champ alone elevates him to a very decent score. There is a slight disappointment someone as innovative as Omega has tried something slightly more out there, but it’s nice to know not all Canadians dress in the dark.

Solid stuntin’ machine. ★★★ 3/4

Juice Robinson

He’s wacky, he’s unique and he needs a bow-tie to show it. I’m sorry Juice, I like ya, but no one seriously needs to a wear bow-tie, and the choice of such drags down the whole thing. Still, if he’s gone for a kinda 1920s clown vibe, he’s pulled it off, and does so with a smile and title in hand, so I can’t rank him too low for that. Jay could learn a thing or two.

Confidence is key. ★★★

Hirooki Goto

That’s right another champion, but sadly this one drags down the whole outfit, just a bit. It’s a shame, because Goto sits firmly in the middle of Tanahashi and Makabe by being an obviously unfashionable guy, but has put in an effort to stand out. The only thing actually standing out however is a ugly title that just looks even uglier being presented after Omega’s and Juice’s.

Unlucky. ★★★

Tomohiro Ishii

“Take the bloody photo mate.” Ishii is a tough nut, and another one who probably doesn’t care that much for fashion, which is what makes his outfit so good. This isn’t the kind of guy who goes out the Monday before, trying the same pair of trousers on five times, before settling on next day ASOS delivery. He’s the kind of guy who just has this in his wardrobe, neatly hanged of course. He looks cool by default in a way very, very few wrestlers actually do. Also the first one to actually pull of glasses thus far.

Easy. ★★★★1/4

Toru Yano

Straight out of sixth-form, Yano is here with the hand me downs. He has the unpleasure of coming straight after Ishii and Goto raising the bar in a such a casual manner that Yano really needed to pull something out of the bag to get high scores here. What does work in his favour is that he’s Yano. Look at that chubby face. He just wants to look nice, and that he does just that.

Protect him at all costs. ★★1/2

Tetsuya Naito

The suit game is a everyday thing for Naito, so he’s used to dressing good, but unluckily for him, we’re also used to seeing him dress good. In an event that demands bar raising, Naito is unable to do so, another tragic moment of being too good for your own good.

Desafortunado. ★★1/2

Sanada

Sanada has long been rumoured to be a future ace, and until now I never understood why. This is a look of a champion, this is a look of an ace, this is the look of someone who knows his fashion is being ranked by someone as unqualified as me. On the wrong person, this would be nothing more than a prohibition era cosplay, but Sanada is evidently the right person. If everyone in the G1 dressed like this, it’d be a comical event, but the shear surprise is what turns this great outfit into a near perfect one.

The champ is here. ★★★★★

Kota Ibushi

The Ibushi’s are a very wealthy family, which probably explains why Kota has the freedom to do whatever the fuck he wants without stress. It also probably explains why Kota looks like an absolute tory here, a rich kid in a suit that looks better on a mannequin than actual human. Luckily for Kota, he pretty much looks plastic anyway so he turns this into being not too bad.

Tory. ★★★

Tama Tonga

Not great Tama, not great. Expectations were high for the new leader of Firing Squad here. Something casual, but classy, maybe rolled up sleeves would have been enough to stunt on the rest of the club, but a baggy purple-ish shirt does not do that. It’s especially a shame that with Cody not here, Tama could have followed Fale and established his side as the fashionable one, but instead went to casual and tipped towards the scale to looking more like Elgin.

Not sweet. ★3/4

Zack Sabre Jr.

The absolute boy continues to grow in doing bits on whatever stage he appears on. ZSJ has changed a lot from being that geeky guy who can hurt your leg into a nut who can fucking break your leg. It’s personal without looking goofy, simply it’s just a lot of confidence to wear a cream suit from a very confident guy. I’m also very glad that a fellow Brit resisted the temptation to dress like Thomas Shelby.

Vote Labour. ★★★★ 1/2

Kazuchika Okada

OH GOD THAT HAIR. Sorry Kazu, it’s a fine, fine suit but ya blew it with the basic Auntie look. The Golden God should stay golden, and I’m afraid this drastic measure is Okado letting us that things aren’t okay. You’re too good to be looking bad mate, you’re just very lucky to have the suit game of the ace.

No gold, no good. ★★★

Images found via: http://www.prowrestlingsheet.com/g1-climax-fashion-photos/

Twitter: @moreporridgesir