In 1776, our founding fathers dreamed of a day where grown men could wear shorts this short; a time where a man could show off his upper thigh without shame or reprocussions. These shorts are not for the faint of heart; they're not for the bandwagon American. These shorts are for the true Patriot. While wearing these shorts, it's feels as if you're the one who caught Benedict Arnold, Lee Harvey Oswald and Osama bin Laden all before lunch. While walking it feels as if your nether regions are being cradled in the wings of a bald eagle. Nothing screams red blooded American quite as loud as the pale, manly legs protruding from these shorts. When paired with striped tube socks, the ladies are sure to be seeing stars! So the next time you decide to liberate an impoverished, oil laden third world country, be sure to pick up a pair of these shorts, and bring freedom in style!!