If it were a trailer for a low-budget slasher movie, I’d say, “You should really tone it down.”

On Friday, the National Republican Senatorial Committee released a Hillary Clinton attack ad entitled “Toxic.” The ad seeks to paint Clinton as a poisonous swamp monster, and is narrated by a Concerned Female Voice, so you know it’s legit and also not fundamentally based in any sort of misogyny.

“She’s a living history of scandal, lies and spin,” the narrator says. “Defended an accused child rapist, then laughed about his lenient sentence.”


“WHITEWATER, TRAVELGATE, CHINAGATE, FILEGATE,” the narrator continues without explanation (something which I can do too: LAMPGATE, FISHWOMAN, ICICLE TITS, WATERCOOLER).

“BENGHAZI, THE CLINTON FOUNDATION, FBI INVESTIGATION, RUTHLESS,” she says.

If we’re just naming things, I’ll keep going. HORSES, A BICYCLE WITH NO WHEELS, THE CONCEPT OF TIME, A CHILD’S LAUGH.


“FAKE ACCENTS,” says the narrator over audio of a woman (maybe Clinton) laughing, “FAKE CONCERNS, and FAKE LAUGHS. Hillary Clinton: She is the living embodiment of everything people hate about politics.”

The ad concludes with audio of Clinton saying, “Hahaha! I am a real person.”

Damn, NRSC, that is extra, even for you.