He cannot fly. He cannot see through walls. He cannot talk to the animals, not even cats. He's never picked up an automobile and tossed it across the road. He's failed to publish poetry in Russian. He can't explain Ryan Reynolds.

These are just a few of the many things Tim Tebow can't do.

Every day we are reminded of more things Tim Tebow can't do. He cannot throw a proper pass. He cannot stand still in the pocket. He can't run a conventional offense. He runs, but he doesn't run gracefully. He runs upright and frantic. He runs like he's stealing a toaster from the mall.

He's a cavalcade of failures. Why the Denver Broncos give him a paycheck, nobody knows.

Because Tim Tebow never lets you relax. He never puts a football game away in the first quarter. He forces you to watch the whole thing, with commercials and no fast-forwards. It's never pretty.