It’s remarkable. With every new episode, Denise Richards gets more honest and more entertaining and this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills delivered in a very BIG way. We thought she was the gift that kept on giving, but it turns out, her husband’s the one in possession of that.

With her wedding to Aaron Phypers just days away, the couple meet Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards for dinner, and while there was a lot on the table, there was just one thing on Denise’s mind. When asked if it was love at first sight, Denise responds, “Um, I thought he was very cute and I wanted to fuck him. I just wanted to have sex with him. He has a very big penis.”

“And that is now on the table,” Aaron states, though luckily it wasn’t actually on the table, you know.

As the women get their giggles out and try to move their conversation back to a reasonable place, inquiring about his job, Denise says, “He offers a very good service, aside from his big penis.” And while not much else about the conversation makes sense, it certainly does add some insight into her previous claim that they have sex every day.

Lisa Vanderpump takes this opportunity to inform Richards that you should never tell another woman that your husband is endowed, and so after they all joke about it being just a teeny tiny inch long, Denise has to clarify the facts.

“I never took a fucking ruler to it but he does have a big penis. I’ve seen some penises in my life and I will say he has the biggest penis I’ve ever been with.” Sorry, Charlie!

We later learn that Aaron does something called “energy medicine,” and then, once again, Denise butts in to offer “with the penis,” before collapsing into uncontrollable laughter. She’s eating food with her hands, she’s having the best time and living her best life.

After Lisa gives her some advice to zip it, Denise agrees to shut her “pie hole” but not before getting in one last, “Baby, I really love you and your big penis,” just in case Aaron wasn’t quite sure. But Lisa sure does understand why they are rushing to get married.

“If I had a dollar for every time Denise said ‘penis’, my dinner would be paid for tonight,” Kyle observes, and she’s likely not wrong as we counted a total of eight penis mentions in this segment alone.

As the ladies depart the restaurant, Denise and Aaron claim they are going to the bathroom before they head to their car, and hmm, wonder what they did in there? You go, girl.

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