*There is one noteworthy exception to this chart, and that is on the occasion that I am being attacked by wildlife. This has happened to me several times. Most recently, I was pushed off of my road bike (while my feet were clipped into the pedals) by an egret.

If anyone has any information about this egret, please contact me:

For the record (and perhaps in my defense), when I got closer to the egret, it looked more like this: