Photo : Copperas Cove Police Department

Authorities say a Texas woman hurled racist obscenities and resisted arrest after police detained her for the simple crime of enjoying a few cocktails with her hubby while the family car babysat the couple’s infant.


Police in the Trump-loving central Texas town of Copperas Cove, whose motto is “The city built for family living” responded to a call about a child in a vehicle at the Trackside Night Club around 1:45 a.m. on Sunday morning, according to KBTX. When the officers arrived on the scene, they found an infant chilling in the backseat of a car in the club’s parking lot. (I know you’re wondering: “But was the baby in a car seat?” Of course, it was! Don’t be an idiot. Safety first.)

When the cops entered the club, they found 26-year-old Samantha Grace Vaughn, who may have been dancing off-beat to a Taylor Swift rockabilly tune (That part is not in the police report. I’m just guessing.) Police would only say they smelled “a strong odor commonly associated with the consumption of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person and/or breath.”


Vaughn told police that she initially drove to the nightspot to pick up her husband when she discovered that she had to pee. Obviously, the baby wasn’t old enough to enter the club so Vaughan thoughtfully left the 1 -year-old in the car (Plus, The Root can confirm from multiple sources that the broke-ass baby never has any money for drinks.) The candidate for Mother of the Year confessed that she somehow ended up consuming two shots while she was in the club, which is understandable because everyone knows that banjo music makes you want to boogie.

When police attempted to arrest the buzzed Becky for leaving her baby in the backseat, a police affidavit states that the bombed mom yelled: “You will not take my child and place her with a fucking nigger,” before throwing herself on the ground and thrashing her body around.

When police managed to get the Toasted Texan into the squad car, she continued to “yell and throw herself about,” eventually smashing her head on the cruiser’s steel bars, causing a laceration and setting the grounds for a police brutality lawsuit.

What?

If a family car can be a babysitter, then a police car can commit police brutality. That’s just science.


On the way to the police department, Samantha the Inebriated Witch allegedly showered the officer with wishes of murder and African-American sodomy.

“I hope somebody slits your god damn jugular and a nigger fucks your children in the ass,” said the trashed Yacubian. “Crash this car and kill us both. I hope your children fucking die. I hope someone fucks your children in the ass and makes them choke on nigger dicks.”


While it is unclear if Vaughn was simply hoping out loud for a violent nigger-dick choking or suggesting that she would take part in her graphic child abuse fantasy, the police took it as a threat of an act of violence. Therefore, Vaughan was charged with resisting arrest, child endangerment and making terroristic threats to a public servant.

According to a preliminary alcohol test, Vaughan’s blood-alcohol level was reported to be .148, nearly twice Texas’ legal limit of .08.


I think we all know and understand the moral of this story:

If you want a good, strong drink, Trackside Nightclub in Copperas Cove, Texas, is the place to go.


But leave the kids at home.