Dota 2 has received a revolutionary “Because the old compendium is expired now and sucked anyway” pass that rewards players for draining endless hours into the game, in a purely altruistic and kind gesture from Valve. This system is breaking new ground for the ARTS genre; it is particularly noted for its counterproductive approach of providing positive benefits for players, as opposed to treating them like the filthy animals they are.

Players have reacted with unmitigated joy and gratitude, taking the field with new reasons to blame their feces-caked, mouth-breathing allies for why they lost.

“Players can look forward to the fantastic experience of hearing one guy plead fruitlessly for you to lay off the towers so that he can get the bonus,” said one Valve employee. “We fully expect that this won’t backfire on any level. What could possibly go wrong?”

“Fuck you, Bristleback,” he added. “I pinged the inner towers.”

Competing company Riot Games has introduced a similar system for League of Legends. We at Esports Express have an exclusive sneak peek into the League “Riot Points” system.

First, to unlock the Riot Points Pass, a player must find the mythical Creditor’s Card.

Players can then choose between the Path of the Visa, the Path of the PayPal, or even the Path of the Gift Card Your Mom Bought You.

Afterwards, the player must complete the challenge of entering the digits on the front and back of their card. When this is complete, players can purchase the ability to take a spin on the Debtor’s Wheel for fun and wondrous prizes! This will potentially almost kind of maybe earn them some IP to be almost on their way to about getting ½ of a newly-released champion! Lucky summoners can even obtain an entire rune page (runes not included).

Dota-likes aren’t the only games getting on the Battle Pass action. Valve is releasing a new, exclusive Battle Pass for tactical FPS Counter-Strike: Global Offensive. The pass guides players through the Path of the Dota, and will push players to their limit with the fun and novel challenge of making a Dota account and going through the pre-game tutorials.

For more information on the upcoming battle pass, check out this informative and helpful infographic:





