The Cracked Podcast #138

So after seven books, eight movies and a trip to Universal Studios, you think you would prefer to go to Hogwarts than live in real life. Everyone gets assigned a very useful pet owl, you can fly around on broomsticks and you don’t have to stick to MLA formatting or learn differential geometry. Sounds great! Except everyone is dying all the time. Cedric Diggory. Dead. Fred Weasley. Dead. Let’s face it, if there was an evil wizard trying to put an end to humanity on the campus of Ohio State, people would stop going there.

Just to recap – Hogwarts:

Pros: magic and other cool stuff

Cons: death is everywhere.

By this logic, our goal this episode is to figure out what would be the best fictional school to attend. We found that most schools in fiction have a much higher death rate than the normal high school or university. We’ll take that into consideration.

Co-hosts Jack O’Brien and Daniel O’Brien are joined by Cracked’s Josh Sargent and Alex Schmidt, and comedians Alison Leiby, Brandie Posey, Riley Silverman and Steven Wilbur to talk Hogwarts, Starfleet Academy, Sunnydale High and more.

Footnotes:

Alison Leiby’s Website: https://goo.gl/Dk4XHS

Alison Leiby’s Standup: https://goo.gl/nFm8P3

Brandie Posey’s Website: http://goo.gl/evH4MH

Brandie Posey’s Standup: https://goo.gl/7gVzdI

Riley Silverman’s Website: http://goo.gl/CNZZYj

Riley Silverman’s Standup: https://goo.gl/ADU1qG

Steven Wilber’s Website: http://goo.gl/OH9jB9

Steven Wilber’s Standup: https://goo.gl/8vJBl1

Cracked: The 5 Most Depraved Sex Scenes Implied By Harry Potter: http://goo.gl/RVSM5

Cracked: 6 Horrifying Implications of the Harry Potter Universe: http://goo.gl/uiaMd

Cracked: Why Hogwarts Was All in Harry’s Head: http://goo.gl/xLALu

Cracked: My Brief Time as a Student at Hogwarts: http://goo.gl/M05Mm

Cracked: After Hours: 5 Movie High Schools That Would Suck To Attend: https://goo.gl/yNRe8H

This episode is sponsored by Wealthfront Veritone, Magoosh, and the Now Hear This Podcast Festival.