Fagpacker (n)

Burnt out backpacker primarily located in South East Asia who has been away from home too long. Spends their time either doing drugs or talking about that time they did drugs while lounging around in hammocks all day until it’s deemed socially acceptable to do drugs again. Usually white from privileged backgrounds (South England etc.), they spend their parents money on alcohol every night with their fagpacker friends. They live in their precious fagpacker group and they are all getting drunk tonight and no they don’t want to make friends. Can no longer have fun without ingesting drugs. Their trust fund may not have run out but their energy has.

How to spot a fagpacker

1. Authentic, unique or cultural (shit) tattoos.

2. Sun burn.

3. Dirty hands and feet.

4. Vacant stare.

5. Same same but different bracelets some monk blessed just for them.

6. Real ‘vintage’ clothing AKA trashy, overpriced, cookie cutter backpacker fashion, usually with an elephant printed on.

7. Nothing interesting to say.

8. Zero energy to try new things.

9. Been at the same hostel for 3 months or more.

Common fagpacker sayings (all heard on the SE Asia circuit)

“I’ve learned to appreciate sadness and embrace tears”

“Like, now that I’ve been shopping like vintage, if I ever like go home, like, I’m gonna totally shop vintage”

“I totally made friends with a local”

“Oh you haven’t done that? Then you haven’t really been to Cambodia”

“I’ve been responsible for opening pretty much every bar in Laos”

“I’m so well known on Khao San Road that I can walk over the road and already have a beer poured for me when I get to the bar”

After asking if he had the time: “I don’t own a watch, I’ve only got three times of time; morning, sunset and night time”

“Me and my bros had a competition to see who could buy the most random thing in Bangkok, I bought a rubber chicken, I won”

“I left home 4 years ago and now here I am, I’m never going back” To their parents mansion in Surrey.

“Like, for the authentic Thai experience, you need to get away from all the tourists and get to Pai, it’s how Thailand like,used to be before all the tourists ruined it”

“I was in Bali, have you been? Anyway, if I was to buy this in Bali it would be like a tenth of the cost, Thailand is so expensive”