The good news is that Craig David (Google him, you dumb fuck!) still exists.

The better news is that Craig David tried to give us some good fap material in Miami the other day when he took off his top and flexed all of his hard veins while doing of Tommy Girl’s favorite sexercise. (But Tommy is the one holding the pink rope as a naked, lubed-up Puerto Rican hustler tries to run away from him. Tommy pulls that Puerto Rican hustler right onto his Scientolopeen every time. How else did you think he got those guns?!)

The awful news is that all of these pictures are unfap-worthy because of Craig’s nasty, gross, vomit-inducing foot condoms made from the devil’s intestines. Mark all of these with a giant red X, pull up your pants and change your status from “away” to “available” on IM. (Tip of the day: Make sure you always set your IM status to “away” before you get into some good Internet porn, because nothing is worse than getting an IM from your mom while you’re fapping away).