The Bank of Grammar has announced there’s been a run on inverted commas after the ‘suicide’ of Jeffrey Epstein.

The usage of inverted commas has increased so much after Epstein’s ‘suicide’ that there is now a global shortage.

Epstein, the alleged paedophile and pimp to many rich and powerful men, committed ‘suicide’ before he could reveal any secrets or go to trial.

The ‘suicide’ is being considered suspect to the point it can only be talked about surrounded by inverted commas, causing the shortage.

‘We’ve never seen the use of inverted commas rise to this rate before. We need Epstein’s “suicide” to leave the news cycle quickly, or else the supply will run dry,’ warned the Bank of Grammar’s CEO Donald Clinton.

People are now being asked to no longer talk or write about Jeffrey Epstein’s controversial ‘suicide’, not because it’s a cover-up but for the sake of the inverted comma.