Customer: “I need to speak to the person in charge!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m the only one in the office right now. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “There are no Jesus memorabilia in your display cases!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a temple. Maybe you’re looking for the church across the street?”

Customer: “I know this is a temple, you dumb b****! All temples need Jesus in them. Otherwise, how is this a house of worship?”

Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to calm down; there’s a preschool class next door. And Jews don’t believe in Jesus as being a–”

Customer: *yelling* “What?! What the f*** do you mean you don’t believe in Jesus, our Lord? How long has this been going on?!”

Me: “I’d say a good thousand years prior to Jesus, ma’am.”