The following is an open letter to Senator Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan.

Dear Senator McConnell and Speaker Ryan,

I have a proposal that I believe could be a valuable amendment to the health care bill that is currently under scrutiny. I think this amendment would go a long way in minimizing both Medicare and Medicaid costs.

The proposed amendment would quite simply provide vouchers for free cigarettes to all Americans who are both over 50 years old and have a net worth of less than $1.5 million. These folks, although valuable in their earlier years, are getting to be less of an asset and more of a liability to the country as they age. But yes, we must be humane (somewhat humane.)

Perhaps, as a nation, we were too quick to poo-poo cigarettes. This over-reaction to smoking is a big part of why many Americans are living too long — way too long. Soon, with huge increases in elderly populations, there will be many who have nowhere and no one to turn to. This will put a strain on our national assets, which could be much better spent further shoring up our military and protecting our borders.

By creating a nation of elderly smokers, you’d also rewarding the maligned tobacco industry that has been so good to so many members of Congress. They have really suffered.

Under this plan, those older, less financially able Americans, who more and more become "takers" and are less able to be "givers," would gradually contract cancer at an earlier age. Simply put off examining them until the cancer had gotten a good hold, then ease their suffering with opium based pain-reducers. (Big Pharma would also love that. Big Pharma has have been very, very good to you guys.)

With cuts to Medicare and Medicaid going to vitally needed job creators, our nursing homes will likely be overcrowded and will need a prison-like efficiency. Rather than suffer in these prison-like nursing homes, elders would be able to puff their way to the big pie-in-the-sky.

This proposal would also be a godsend to small retail businesses, as they are the last major contact points for obtaining cigarettes.

As automation and technology replace humans, we really won’t need folks to live into their 70s, much less 80s and 90s. We can get them through their most productive working years, let them relax some with a cigarette, then put them out of their pain. We wouldn’t have to raise taxes on the givers, and these retired folks could quickly and peacefully fade away.

Paul Letendre

Berkley