captainmander:

one thing I envy about thin people is the ability they have to fit into spaces. chairs, desks, bathroom stalls, narrow aisles in bookstores and libraries. i wonder if they have the same kind of awareness of the space that they take up that fat people do. every time i go somewhere new i have to carefully navigate my body while silently praying that i will be able to fit into whatever space i am expected to occupy.

i see thin people contorting their bodies in ways that i couldn’t even imagine. pulling my knees up to my chest? never in a million years, my belly is way to big for that. crossing both my legs and sitting in the lotus position on a chair? can’t do that either. i can’t even cross my legs at the knee, unless i have something to rest my foot on.

honestly, i’m lucky that i can fit into most chairs at my university. i can’t really fit into the auditorium chairs, and i can’t pull the collapsible desk over my belly in one of my history classes, but most everything else is okay. but i’ll never be able to make myself comfortable, because these spaces were not built for my fat body; there is not enough room for me to even fit my fat ass comfortably into these spaces, let alone stretch out and find a comfortable position.