We are fond of using the past to justify our current decision-making, making it difficult for us to let go. The harm someone caused you years ago affects whether or not you go to that party, that meeting, that family gathering, whether you'll date, trust, etc. These memories now justify all your actions. By being unable to leave the past in the past, the past becomes part of your story and works against you, making sure you never grow beyond what happened. Your story is what you tell yourself to justify your actions. For example, you had a bad relationship, and you use this bad experience to justify why you won't get into another relationship. You shouldn't let that experience influence your current path because you can't let it go. Rather, you should see in that experience the motivation to move one step ahead, to have a better experience.