By PATRICK BROWN, LEADER OF THE PROGRESSIVE CONSERVATIVE PARTY OF ONTARIO

The Wynne Liberals newest social experiment is teaching our innocent children about their hoohoos and down-theres when it comes to special area education. I will stop this.

We’re all adults when it comes to talking about, well, you know. And we all want to keep our children protected from knowing about how their no-nos work. There’s nothing more threatening than a body-aware child. That’s just so gross to talk about!

Imagine the frustration and deep embarrassment many parents must feel when a child can identify his or her… things. Or worse, what happens when a seven-year-old is taught that it’s okay to have two uncles who live together without the explanation that they’re just housemates.

Teaching that gender is a social construct takes away any right of a parent to chastise their son for choosing to perform more effeminate sports such as ballet, synchronized swimming, or soccer. And the Liberals are removing that special moment when a mother tells her daughter to change out of that outfit because she resembles a slut.

They’re even teaching our future generation about bottom hanky-panky. That’s a big ew!

I have always stood by the traditional way of teaching about this sensitive topic. If elected Premier, I will put these private moments back to what it has always been; between a child and what he or she finds on the Internet.

From wikimedia commons / FAQMP