Ritz with Cream Cheese and Jelly

My grandpa used to make these for me before I even started partaking in the devil’s lettuce. Pretty straight forward- just spread cream cheese on some Ritz Crackers or saltines then add a dollop of your favorite jelly . If you want to get fancy with it throw them babies on some foil and toast them in the oven at 300 degrees for about 5 minutes.

Perfect Situation: You are smoking grass with an elder ent. Everything else on this list might offend the senses. You could also serve these up if you are babysitting for your sister or something. Stoned adults enjoy the same food as a sober 9-year-old.

A Walking Taco

I’ve really only seen these at state fairs but after burning a fat one I have to say I don’t crave anything more… except for pizza. I love pizza. A walking taco is a hungry stoner’s wet dream. It’s basically all of the fixing for a taco but instead of putting your beef in a shell you throw it in a bag of your favorite chips. Here is a quick recipe

Essential Ingredients

1 pound lean ground beef

1 packet of taco seasoning

A couple bags of your favorite chips

Cheese

Optional Ingredients

Avocado

Tomato

Sour cream

Lettuce

You guys get it… taco stuff

Directions

Brown your ground beef in a pan and follow the directions on the taco seasoning packet. Cook through Open your bag of chips and throw all the cheese, beef and condiments in that biznitch. Shake it up, grab a fork and enjoy.

Perfect Situation: You are having a bunch of people over for a massive sm0ke session and you wan’t to please everyone. Walking tacos are customizable so you don’t have to worry about leaving out ingredients.

Here is a more detailed recipe written by a 12-year-old

Waffle Sandwich

I discovered this one night in college after a particularly long night of cheefin. I was craving a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but we were all out of bread. I checked the freezer and sure enough we had some of those Eggo chocolate chip waffles. I toasted them up and made my first chocolate chip waffle pb & j. What followed was a month long foray into trying every possible combination of waffle sandwiches. Here are a few of my favorite combos.

Waffles + Peanut Butter

Waffles + Peanut Butter + Jelly

Waffles + Peanut Butter + Bacon

Waffles+ Peanut Butter + Bananas

Waffles+ Ice Cream+ Syrup (Breakfast Ice Cream Sandwich)

Waffles + A fried egg

Waffles + chocolate chips + Peanut butter

Waffles+ apple slices

Waffles + nutella

These are just a few but there are literally endless options. You can even just make a regular sandwich but instead of bread use waffles. I would avoid mayo and mustard though.

Perfect Situation: After a hefty wake n’ bake in the morning pull yourself out of bed at the crack of noon and enjoy a waffle sandwich.

Meta-Pizza

Like I mentioned before I love pizza. I mean honestly who doesn’t? I also enjoy the various pizza flavored frozen food items you can find at the local grocery store. This might sound a little overboard but next time you are at the store buy some Totino’s Pizza Rolls, Pizza Bagels, and a frozen pizza. Toss some of the pizza rolls and bagels on top of your pizza, add a little bit of extra cheese, and bake it in the oven using the frozen pizza directions. What you will have is pizzaception—three layers of pizza.

Perfect Situation: Home. Alone. This is something you really don’t want to share. Get home from a long day of work smoke yourself silly then make this pizza disappear like a Siberian tiger from bad magic show.

Egg Poached in Salsa

Poaching an egg the traditional way, in water with a splash of white vinegar, is one of the tougher ways to cook an egg. If you don’t know what you are doing the egg will fall apart or break in the water. Poaching an egg in salsa or marinara sauce is much easier and if you aren’t trying to impress somebody with some eggs benedict the morning after “fun time” it is absolutely delicious. The process is pretty straight forward. Fill a small sauce span with enough salsa to partially submerge a cracked egg. Turn your stove on medium high, crack an egg in the middle of the salsa and cover your dish for about a minute or until the whites of the egg have solidified. Now just grab a slice of bread or some tortilla chips and eat up!

A video of how to prepare this dish can be found here.

Perfect Situation: Whenever you are trying to impress a lady friend or a manly friend.

Nutella

Alright, I know everybody has tried this but come one… its Nutella.

Perfect Situation: Anytime any place.