Think Star Trek is all about setting your lasers to stun and making out with hot alien chicks? If you want to get with the aliens you are going to need to learn their language or else they won’t be able to tell you apart from the next humanoid that comes along. Otherwise you can never be sure if they are into your or not. Kirk knew it – look at how many languages he knew and the alien women he got! Below are some of the most common languages in the Star Trek universe which are sure to help you out when it comes to speaking their language.

10. Bajoran language

If you’re a fan of Deep Space Nine then you are definitely going to need to understand this language. Developed by the Bajoran people, it uses some of the extinct and existing languages from Bajor. When hitting on a Bajoran, if they use the word “Balik” that means to get away. Probably also means your chances of hooking up with them are gone.

9. Ferengi language

This is another Deep Space Nine language which is quite familiar to some alien races. It originates from the planet of Ferenginar which is dedicated to free enterprise. It if also often called the language of entrepreneurs. The polite way to greet a Ferengi is to ask “Amo kino ku” which means “How are you?” This phrase can be used to get the alien to talk to you more which may help the conversation evolve to the next level.

8. Tamarian language

The Tamarian language is spoken by the Tamarians although it may be harder to understand than the average alien language. This is due to their overuse of metaphor and referencing to people, places, and events of their planet’s past. So if you don’t understand the complete history of the planet you will tend to think of their sentences as having no meaning. For example: If you say “Temba, his arms wide/open”, that means you are giving a gift to a Tamarian. If the gift is met with the phrase, “Temba, at rest”, then the gift was refused and better luck next time.

7. Orion language

The Orion language is actually divided into two categories: High Orion used for official documents and the upper class and Lower Orion for the everyday people. It has further been broken down into Trader’s Tongue, which as you can assume is used for trade, and Yrevish which is only good for getting a job on the Enterprise. Eventually this language was even a required second year class in the 24th century because of the amount of dealings with the Orions. The word chuulak means a public execution which is slow and painful. Your date may tell you she felt the date she went on was like a chuulak.

6. Andorii language

In Andoria in the 24th century, the main spoken language on their planet was the Andorii language. Research was done in 2377 which showed that the Andorii language closely resembled Earth’s Japanese and Chinese languages. While their language may be beautiful, there are certain words which can turn an Andorian away from you. One such word would be tezha which is basically sex outside of marriage. You may not want to tell that to her on the first date.

5. Borg language

One of the most feared races in the universe because of their ability to assimilate others, the Borg have their own language which of course is made up of other words which have been assimilated. Generally speaking, the Borg communicates via the neural interlock frequency which is a fancy way to say they make you talk. You can only speak the languages that you know though so in a way that is the Borg speaking through you what they want to say. Thus the Borg language. Generally it is not a good idea to hit on a Borg chick unless you want to be assimilated. Then again, some guys like being assimilated so it all depends.

4. Vulcan language

The Vulcan language is the official language of the Vulcan people who come from the planet Vulcan. As many people know, the Vulcans are a race who is more logical than they are emotional which shows through their word usage. However, if you look at old Vulcan, then you are able to see that there were still a few words which were used in an emotional sense. If you hear someone call you in Vulcan their t’hyla, then congratulations – you have just been made their Vulcan lover.

3. Rihannsu language

The Rihannsu language is that of the Romulon people. The meaning behind the use of the world Rihannsu is “The Declared” which probably has to do with their declared freedom from the planet Vulcan. If you’re interested in pursuing a Romulon chick though, just know that divorce and separation rarely occur – either because of a bond or because of the female’s ability to force you to stay married. It is usually the second choice. If a Romulon calls you a dha’rudh, then that means you are a complete and total idiot. Don’t despair though – some alien chicks like the idiots.

2. Klingon language

One of the more common languages found throughout the Federation, Klingonese is the official language of the Klingon people. There are two dialects found within Klingonese: klingonaase and tlhlngan Hol. Klingons are warrior people by nature so you already know that you are going to be dealing with a tough chick. If you want to impress her, say Hab SoslI’ Quch! No, don’t, that is a deep insult. Oh…already said it huh? Better luck next time.

1. Federation Standard

This is the most widespread, official language of the Federation. If all else fails and you cannot learn any language, then you can at least use this to communicate effectively with the alien species that are part of the Federation. It is also known as Galacta, Earth Basic, Anglish, or simply Standard. You are probably already familiar with the terminology used in this language but just for the others who may be reading, “Get lost” loosely translates into “I never want to see you again.” Federation chicks can be so hard to understand.

by Danielle Kazemi

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