Note: This chapter is more NSFW than usual (both visually and in writing). It’s not graphic, but it’s definitely more intense than a normal A2A chapter. Please read with caution and use your discretion! 🙂

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And I mean, Katie’s right, isn’t she? Harper’s pencil danced across the blue lines in front of her. I’ve gotta stop being so afraid. I’ve just gotta go for it. I’ve gotta —

She jumped slightly at the sound of a soft knocking from over her shoulder. “Come in.” Her voice shook slightly with nervousness. She knew exactly who it was.

Harper rose to her feet, trying her best to stay calm. Ivy had responded to her invitation much sooner than she’d been anticipating. Must’ve finished up early…

“Hey.” Ivy smiled warmly at her as she entered. The sight sent a rush of pleasant warmth to Harper’s cheeks.

She returned the gesture as best as she could. “Hey… How were things in the kitchen today?” She asked.

Ivy laughed brightly. “The usual… keeping my head down and avoiding Tim at all costs.”

Harper nodded sympathetically. She was thankful that she and Tim so rarely crossed paths. Unfortunately, Ivy wasn’t so lucky. “And how did that go?”

She shrugged. “We didn’t really pay much attention to each other, I guess. I was kinda busy peeling 75 million potatoes, so…” Ivy smiled jokingly.

“Ugh. I hope this doesn’t mean Sophie’s making that awful stew again…” Harper shook her head for a moment.

“Hard to say… I saw a bunch of carrots and onions too though. So I guess that doesn’t bode well.” Ivy teased. “Sorry.”

Harper forced a smile. “Meh. I guess I’ll survive… Um, anyway… I’m, uh, really glad you stopped by. I hope it wasn’t like, weird to ask or something… I just really wanted to talk to you.” She muttered nervously, her calm mask suddenly fading.

“Why would it be weird? You know you can talk to me about anything, anytime.” Ivy said seriously. She glanced around the room before speaking again. “Wow… it feels so empty in here without Katie, doesn’t it?” Her beautiful face fell slightly as she spoke.

Harper sighed. “Yeah, it really does.” She crossed over to the now-unclaimed bed where Katie once slept and lowered herself onto it. Beside her, Ivy did the same. “I already miss her a lot more than I thought I would.” She confessed softly.

“I bet. You guys were really close.” For a moment, Ivy’s warm fingers brushed against Harper’s. But she pulled them back instantly, eyeing Harper apologetically as she did so.

Harper winced inwardly. She knew it was her own fault that Ivy was acting that way. She’d been pushing her away for so long now, that it seemed she was afraid to even show the smallest hint of affection toward her. Goddamn it… I’ve really fucked this thing up, haven’t I?

“So… Is that what you wanted to talk about?” Ivy’s soft voice broke the awkward silence. “Katie?”

Harper shook her head. “No, I…” Come on, don’t be such a wimp! “I, uh, wanted to talk about… us.”

“Us?” Ivy raised an eyebrow at her.

She nodded. “You and me. And like… like how I’ve been treating you, I guess. Pushing you away and stuff… When you try to… y’know, get close.” Jesus, I sound like a fucking moron.

To her surprise, Ivy let out a small chuckle. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.” She assured her gently. “I get it. I’ve been making things really weird ever since that day in the bathroom with Tim…” For a moment, her face looked almost pained at the memory. “I’ve always kinda sucked at, um… picking up those kinds of vibes.” Ivy sounded embarrassed.

“Vibes?”

“I mean, it should have been obvious. You have a kid. With a guy.” She shook her head. “I’ve been way too embarrassed to apologize for it before now, but… I really am sorry. I never should have assumed anything, or tried pushing like that. All I’ve done is make things weird between us. And that’s not fair to you.”

Suddenly, Ivy’s words seemed to click in Harper’s mind. “Wait, wait… You… You don’t think I like girls? You don’t think I’m interested?” It was Ivy’s turn to look surprised as a burst of laughter passed Harper’s lips. “Trust me, that’s not the problem… at all.” She assured the other girl at last. “Not by a long shot.”

“It’s not?” Ivy asked almost hopefully.

Harper shook her head. “That was why I wanted to talk to you. To tell you how I feel.” She suddenly felt as though she were going to vomit. “Ivy, I really, really… want to… uh… I mean, I think you’re beautiful and amazing, and I…” She paused for a moment, trying to overcome how tongue-tied she suddenly felt. “What I’m trying to say is, ever since I first met you, I… I, um…”

Fuck it. Harper was tired of struggling to say how she felt. She was tired of being afraid. She was tired of finding excuses to keep pushing Ivy away.

So instead, she did what Katie had told her to.

She went for it.

Ivy wasted no time at all. The next thing Harper knew, she was laying back against the bed with Ivy’s warm weight pressed up against her, her lips moving with hers. It was like Harper’s entire body was on fire. How many months had the two of them been leading up to this moment? How many nights had Harper laid awake dreaming about it?

And it was already even better than she’d imagined.

Ivy’s long, deft fingers were already unfastening the buttons of Harper’s jumpsuit as her mouth made its way down the side of her neck. Harper let out a soft sigh, feeling her arousal deepen by the second.

“God, you’re so beautiful.” Ivy’s voice was soft and sultry in Harper’s good ear. “Is it okay if I…?”

She nodded breathlessly. “Don’t stop.”

Clearly Ivy didn’t need telling twice. The next thing Harper knew, her shirt, shoes and jumpsuit lay in a crumpled heap beside the bed. Ivy’s mouth and fingers continued making their way lower and lower down Harper’s torso, finally coming to a stop when she reached her underwear.

Having Ivy so tantalizingly close was already enough to drive Harper crazy. She could feel herself getting nearer and nearer to the edge. She wasn’t even sure how much longer she’d last at this point — and Ivy hadn’t even touched her yet. But she needed her to. God, did she need it.

“Are you sure?” A soft, breathless voice broke through the lust that flooded Harper’s mind, calling her back to the present for a moment. “You wanna keep going?”

Ivy glanced up at her then, a burning hunger behind her eyes. It was one of the hottest things Harper had ever seen. Holy fuck.

Unable to find her voice, she gave another small nod. Harper reached for one of Ivy’s hands, squeezing it tightly in anticipation.

Ivy gave her another soft smile, and squeezed back.

Then the next thing Harper knew, her underwear was on the floor, and nothing else mattered anymore.

Harper forgot all about her fears. She forgot about her insecurities. She forgot about Erik.

She even forgot her own name.

It was a wonder the guards hadn’t come busting down the door with all the noise she’d made. But she couldn’t help it. She used to think Erik was a good lover. She’d thought he knew what he was doing. But with Ivy… Well, Harper had never felt anything so intense in her entire life.

Harper opened her eyes, her breath coming in harsh gasps as she let herself come down from her high.

She felt Ivy nuzzle her face against one of her inner thighs for a moment, planting a soft kiss there before finally rising to her feet. With a contented sigh, she joined Harper back on the bed.

“I’ve wanted to do that since the day I met you.” Ivy said softly, laying her head against Harper’s chest as she spoke.

Me too. Harper thought to herself, closing her eyes once more. She was still too out of breath to say it aloud.

And it was true — She’d been fantasizing about being with Ivy since the day she’d met her nearly a year ago. And she’d been fantasizing about being with a woman for even longer than that. Even before she kissed Rylie on New Years Eve all those years ago. It was almost hard to believe that it had finally happened.

But now that it was all over, Harper could feel all of the excitement and euphoria being replaced by… something else. She’d thought that just going for it was the right thing to do. She thought it would make her forget all the reasons she’d been hesitating until now… But now that the lust that had clouded her thoughts had finally begun to clear, all those fears, doubts, uncertainties began slowly creeping their way in.

What would Ivy think of her now? Would she think she was cheap, or easy? Would she think all she cared about was sex? And what if she expected her to reciprocate? What the hell are you even supposed to do down there? What if she let Ivy down? What if she laughed at her inexperience? What if she ended up embarrassing herself?

And what if Ivy expected this to be more than just a one-time thing? What if she wanted this to turn into a relationship? Was that a good thing? Isn’t that what Harper wanted too? But then, how on Earth could she drag someone into a relationship with her? Especially one that had no guarantee of a future?

And what if they did try dating? What would other people think if they found out about them? Would she and Ivy be judged for being together, like Kelly and Tim? What would her parents say, if they found out she was with a woman? Or Erik? Maybe they’d had their suspicions — Harper couldn’t be sure — but she wasn’t officially ‘out’ to any of them… And the thought of having to tell them terrified her.

Fuck. I’m not ready for this! Harper felt like she was going to be sick. This was a mistake. A huge mistake. I never should have let it go this far… Oh God. She’s gonna hate me.

In an instant, Harper had sprung up from the bed, pushing Ivy off of her as she did so. She bent down and hastily pulled her underwear back on as she spoke. “I’m sorry, Ivy.” She muttered. “We shouldn’t have done this. This was a mistake.”

The other girl slowly got to her feet as well, her face etched with concern. “Huh? Wh-what are you –”

“It’s my fault, okay? I shouldn’t have let this happen. I got carried away. I… I’m sorry. But this isn’t right.”

“What are you talking about?” Ivy’s voice was pained. “I mean, maybe we did go a little too fast. And I’m sorry. I’m the one who got carried away with that… But we can slow it down from here, I promise. We can figure this out.” Ivy reached toward Harper’s cheek as she spoke.

Harper flinched away from her touch, her eyes suddenly welling with tears. “I’m sorry. I just can’t do this. I’m not ready. I thought I was… but I’m not.” She turned away then, wiping away a few of her tears with the back of her hand. She just felt so embarrassed, and so overwhelmed. Why did I ever think this was a good idea?! “Maybe we can talk about it later. But right now I just… I just need to be alone.”

Ivy sighed softly. “Hey, just breathe, okay? I know this was probably more than either of us was really ready for…” She admitted guiltily. “You’re probably right — we were both way too carried away. But I’m not gonna let you do this. I can’t let you push me away again!” She cried. “Not now!”

Harper did not turn around, no matter how much she wanted to. “Just go.” She said softly. “Please.”

“But Harper, I…”

Harper wasn’t sure whether Ivy had given up, or if the rest of what she’d said had been too quiet for her to hear.

But the next sound that reached her ears was the opening and closing of the door.