Authored by Sarah Cowgill via LibertyNation.com,

While a lot of eyes were glued to the television sets this week as the Democrats began their public hearing on the impeachment of President Donald Trump, most flyover folks found the process a butt-numbing, ear-bleeding snooze fest and soon turned the channel.

No one trusts the news to get the facts and when it is as boring and predictable as this Democrat Schiff-show has been, well, they find quirky political news to discuss as a matter of self-preservation.

What To Do During Boring Hearing?

The latest hero for the heartland is none other than Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ), who did take a hit for the team and watched impeachment hearings – with the goal of keeping his Twitter peeps informed. In a rapid series of cryptic missives imparting the news, a creative subliminal message emerged. Using each first letter of subsequent tweets, Gosar spelled out “Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself.”

The chatter was nearing sensory overload on social media – from kudos to creativity, warnings to watch his six, and discussions of political strategies involving the ever-present contagiously viral phrase. Words like “hero” and “epic” and “legend” peppered social media outlets.

Purdue University grad, Doug Cooke, claimed it was simply “Political perfection!” and kudos to whoever figured it out and shared. And that prompted Carol Donaldson in Montgomery, AL to surmise where the best offensive might come from, “The Democrats own the Media. The Right owns the Memes!”

The good folks in Michigan were concerned for Gosar’s longevity, however, and Howard Denison in Grand Haven cautioned, “He’d better be careful. He could be ‘Clintoned.’” But the forewarning from Steve Jewell was much more sobering: “Maybe the whistleblower should take a cue from Epstein? Or Epstein’s non-killer, rather…”

Hunter Biden’s Kimono

Heartlanders are beginning to feel a deep-seated pity for the Biden family. The elder can’t keep his teeth in straight, delivers speeches to backscreens looking for an audience, sniffs everyone, and well, has Hunter as a son. As the impeachment hearing droned on like a drunkard’s snores, one interesting tidbit emerged. Deputy Assistant Secretary of State George Kent said under oath, regarding the lack of investigation into Burisma Holdings: “We’ve continued to press Ukrainian officials to answer for why allege corrupt prosecutors had closed [the] case. We have until now got an unsatisfactory answer.”

Yes, the very same Burisma that paid the then VP’s son an exorbitant amount of money to do not much of anything. Suddenly, Hunter Biden got his knickers … er, kimono … in a twist:

“One thing I don’t have to do is sit here and open my kimono as it relates to how much money I make, or made, or did, or didn’t.”

Such an open invitation for what transpired next. You guessed It: it became all about his junk. Shari Greene answered his taunt, “Yeah, you do. And ‘eww’ for the flasher visual by the way.” Kelley Lowery in South Dakota was right with Shari, requesting, “Keep the kimono closed.”

From the plains in Illinois, Ken Lawson shared his musings, bringing papa “bare” into the discussion, “The female Secret Service agents wished Joe would have kept his kimono shut during his early morning swims.”

But the last word this week goes to a flyover friend in Topeka, KS, Daryl Johnson: “Based on what you just said, you probably didn’t make much if opening kimono measures your wealth.”

Ouch.