Andrew, James, and I have been through a couple of Web Design/Development jobs in our careers. Here is some hilarious and sometimes irritating phrases or requests from clients that we have personally heard. If you’re a web designer or developer, you’ll immediately connect with this list because we’ve all been through it. The list is formatted with phrases one of us heard, then our comments on it. If you have any more to add to the list below, post it in the comments.

From James:

– That should only take you ## time right?

Yes. Because you know exactly how much time it takes to develop or design something because you have done it yourself. Don’t tell the designer/developer how long it’ll take. We’ll tell you.

– That should be easy to do/add.

Have you ever heard that saying “easier said than done?” Well this applies here. Let the designer/developer to you if it’s easy or hard and trust us on our word. Because designing isn’t as easy as WordArt and developing isn’t as easy as drag-and-drop.

– It needs to be fully animated but under 25kb.

If you don’t understand the concept of filesize, don’t expect a designer/developer to stuff a bunch of animations and videos into your flash intro.

For more from me and Andrew, go past the break.

From Andrew:

– Make sure it’s Web 2.0

What do you consider Web 2.0?

– So, I have some changes for the site, how bout I just read them off to you and you can change them. Yes I know there is quick a few pages to the site but it’ll be real quick.

Or you could just email me a list.

– After sending a Design Comp to a client: I’ve clicked everywhere the Website isn’t working.

*Face Palm

From me:

– You’re a web designer, print shouldn’t be any different

Web and print are NOT the same. When a web designer designs, he or she thinks about, wireframes, functionality, how developers would code such a design and usability. Print or Graphic designers think about a grid, heiarchy, the use of negative space, and concept. They know people aren’t going to “click” on their posters or magazine.

– Lets make 5 comps for our client and let him/her choose the elements they like from each comp. It’s easy to just mix and match elements.

Mix and match?! This isn’t just a drag and drop type of designing we do. Each comp is thought through carefully and made to flow. Mix and match?! Sure, if you want a Frankenstein type of design.

– 10pm e-mail: Need a quick one page website mock up by 10am

Thanks for the heads up. But don’t expect a great design in 1 hours time. My brain needs coffee and time to boot up by the time I get into work.

And last but not least:

– I want my sports themed website to have a stadium in the background. In that background can we animated twinkling lights all the time? As if camera flashes were going off.

No. This isn’t MySpace.

Bonus:

– Why does your comp have Spanish in it?

Wow. Just… wow. First of all, it’s not Spanish. It’s Latin. Second, it’s placeholder copy.