It is a well-established fact in marine biology that the octopus is the drunk texter of the cephalopod family.

Octopus Hassles his Beleaguered Friend, the Squid



Octopus Takes an Interest in Cinematography



Octopus Finds a Sturdy Boat

Octopus Pillages a Passing Ship

Octopus Shares His Spoils

Squid Worries About What has Happened to Octopus (with special guest star, the Angry Cuttlefish)

Octopus Enjoys his New Home

(and tries to win a bet)

Octopus Knows Nothing About Soccer

Octopus Enacts Another Daring Escape (sort of)

Transcription, for the visually impaired, or when Photobucket inevitably fails

It is a well-established fact in marine biology that the octopus is the drunk texter of the cephalopod family.

Octopus Hassles his Beleaguered Friend, the Squid

[name: lol squid]

Octopus: hay squid guess wat

Octopus: .___________.

Octopus: im a whale!

Squid: …

Octopus: hahahahaha j/k im an octopus lol

Squid: I have no idea why I haven’t blocked your number yet

***

Octopus Takes an Interest in Cinematography

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5DyBkYKqnM

Octopus: hay guess wat

Octopus: squid

Octopus: squiiiiiiiid

Squid: What is it?

Octopus: i got htis guys camera lol

Squid: You got what?

Octopus: lemme send you a pic

***

XXXlook at all these awesome photos lolXXX

***

Octopus: ok here goes

Squid: You got your tentacle in front of the lens

Squid: You got ALL EIGHT tentacles in front of the lens

Squid: How is that even possible?

Octopus: hay dont front my camera is awesome

***

Octopus: uh oh g2g this guys still after me

Squid: Octopus?

Squid: Are you okay?

Squid: Octopus?

Octopus: running running running omg running

***

Octopus: hay squid guess wat now

Squid: Let me guess, you stole another piece of human electronics

Octopus: wat no pft cameras are lame we did a trade

Octopus: i got a harpoon now

Squid: …a what?

Octopus: yar whar be the white whale lol

***

Octopus Finds a Sturdy Boat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DoWdHOtlrk

Octopus: hay squid check it I got this awesome thing

Squid: Why do you have a coconut shell?

Squid: Wait...HOW did you get a coconut shell?

Squid: Never mind, I get the feeling that will only invite overdone Monty Python references.

***

Octopus: wat’s monty python?

Squid: I can’t believe I talk to you.

Octopus: lol im a hermit crab

***

XXXinsert screencap of the octopus in a shell lolololXXX

***

Octopus: j/k im an octopus lol

Squid: Okay, back to the first question

Squid: Why do you have a coconut shell?

Octopus: its my hsip!

Octopus: *hsip

Octopus: *ship

***

Octopus: ok im off to pillage an stuff

Squid: Have fun with that

Octopus: yar hoist the mizzenmast scrub the poop deck raise the anchors

Octopus: awaaaaaaaaay

***

Octopus Pillages a Passing Ship

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfuOn3rxdy8

Octopus: im in ur hsip eatin ur foods lol

Squid: Ship. What ship?

Octopus: oh yuo know teh one with the trampolines and

Octopus: hangon

Squid: You mean, fishing ship?!

Squid: We’ve talked about those. This is a terrible idea. This is an extremely terrible idea. Where are you?

***

Octopus: on the dekc where all the prawns are

Octopus: omg this is so awesome you have no idae

Squid: The DECK?!

Squid: Hang on stay right where you are.

Squid: Or. No, don’t stay right where you are.

***

Octopus: no its cool man got this under control

Octopus: got my metal gear on lol

Octopus: i am leik one with the scenery atm

Octopus: i am a being of solitude

Octopus: you cant see me

Squid: Oh my god

***

Octopus: ate all the prawns

Octopus: super tasty

Squid: Good, now you can get out, yes?

Octopus: omg gratest idea evar

Octopus: wat if i

Octopus: ate all thier bait too lol

***

Octopus: and the humans were all

Squid: Humans?

Octopus: how did you get in here? >:(

Squid: You interacted with humans?

***

Octopus: and i was all

Octopus: scuse me gents i hav places to be

Octopus: ps thanx for the prawns and bait lol

Octopus Shares His Spoils

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjQr3lRACPI

Octopus: omg theres peopel over there

Octopus: im gonna go give them a crab lol

Squid: Wait, people?

Squid: People?

Squid: People are who invented calamari, Octopus

Squid: CALAMARI.

***

Octopus: lol they were all like

Octopus: oh no its an octopus back away

Octopus: and i was all like

Octopus: hello humans!

Octopus: i have come to give yuo food as a gift from my people!

Octopus: may our people live forever in peace lol

***

Octopus: and then i returend to the sea

Octopus: leaving them in bounty

Octopus building bridges my freind

Octopus: building bridgse

Squid: You are a credit to our kind, Octopus

***

Squid Worries About What has Happened to Octopus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87_UrskGIKA

[name: Idiot Octopus]

Squid: Hey Octopus, are you okay?

Squid: I haven’t heard from you in a while

Squid: Octopus?

***

Squid:Octopus If you get this, please let me know you are not dead

Squid: I understand we have had our differences. You having eight legs, and me having ten.

Squid: (Which is not a commentary on your intelligence in any way.)

Squid: but I guess what I mean is, I very much hope you haven’t crawled into a hole and died.

Squid: So if you get this message, please let me know that you are not dead.

***

Squid: Octopus?

***

[name: Cuttlefish]

Squid: Sorry to bother you, Cuttlefish

Cuttlefish: YEAH WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Squid: I was wondering if I could ask you a question

Cuttlefish: HANG ON LET ME CONSULT MY SISTERS.

Cuttlefish: ALL EIGHT MILLION OF THEM

Cuttlefish: SO WE CAN ALL DROP WHATEVER IT IS WE ARE DOING AND IMMEDIATELY HELP YOU WITH WHATEVER IT IS YOU NEED

Cuttlefish: WHICH IS CLEARLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT WE ARE DOING RIGHT NOW

Cuttlefish: ASS

***

Squid: I was wondering if you had seen our friend Octopus anywhere?

Cuttlefish: OH THAT FUCKER?

Cuttlefish: YEAH, HE’S IN THE AQUARIUM NOW, WHY?

Squid: …

Squid: ...

Squid: ...

Squid: The WHAT?!?!?!

***

Octopus Enjoys his New Home

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocWF6d0nelY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur2HO99l3mk

Octopus: hay squid can you look somethin up for me

Squid: Are you okay?

Octopus: yea this place is grate

Octopus: so can yuo go on gamefaqs and look up how to open a jar with a crab in it

Octopus: i got the last one but im kinda stuck on this one

***

Octopus: no wait i got it

Squid: I’m so thrilled

Octopus: ok so go on gamefaqs and log into my account

Octopus: name octolol248 pw 123456

Octopus: update my jar walkthrough with this

Octopus: hold glass thing

Octopus: turn green round thing left like 4 times

***

Octopus: o hay i just got this grate idea

Octopus: i was looking at this jar and i thot

Octopus: could i fit inside it????

Squid: This sounds like a generally bad idea to me

Octopus: dont dare me to do it man ill totally do it

Squid: I said this sounds like a bad idea

***

[name: fuckin squid]

Cuttlefish: TELL HIM TO DO IT WE WANT TO SEE IF HE CAN

***

Octopus Knows Nothing About Soccer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BATirFw3jw

Octopus: hay squid wut do you know about soccer????

Squid: I know a bit about the old football, why do you ask?

Octopus: okay grate i said soccer but whatev

Octopus: quick germany vs spain who will win

Squid: That’s pretty tough

Squid: Villa’s one of the top players out there

Squid: But Germany’s got a fantastic overall lineup, really no holes there

Squid: If Spain can manage to hang together and support their star players, maybe, but otherwise I’d definitely go with Germany

***

Octopus: nvm im going with Spain

Squid: What? Why?

Octopus: because cuttlefish said itd be lolarious to go swim up in front of them and be like

Octopus: sry germany thnx for the fish but yuor out lol

***

[name: Cuttlefish]

Squid: You have no honor.

Cuttlefish: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Cuttlefish: WHATEVER MAN RUGBY’S WHERE IT’S AT

Squid: No honor.

Squid: None.

Octopus Enacts Another Daring Escape (sort of)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReJ2PTvIyLs

Octopus: dun dun DUN DUN dun dun DUNDUN

Squid: What are you doing?

Octopus: mission impossible!!!!

Octopus: im like totally tom cruise atm

Squid: Okay, assume I’m the idiot here

Squid: What are you doing?

***

Octopus: im making a daring escape

Squid: Great! How are you getting out?

Octopus: nah man im just goin to the next tank

Octopus: tomorrow the humans will be like

Octopus: breakfast?

***

Octopus: an ill be like

Octopus: you go hav a brake i already fed myself lol

Squid: Good luck with that

Octopus: oh man that tank has some hueg fish brb

***

Octopus: Im a whale

Squid: You forgot to do the period and underscore thing

Octopus: No Im actually a whale

Octopus: The Octopus somehow made it into my tank

Squid: What?

Octopus: Clever lil fella

***

Octopus: Anyhoo he just wanted me to say hi

Octopus: The Octopus said you could show me a picture of me?

Squid: No.

Octopus: o cmon man do iiiiiiit

Squid: Fine.

Squid: ._________.

***

Octopus: Oho thats quite the clever picture!

Octopus: asfjkdslf man you did it yuor the best!!!!!!!! <3

Squid: …

Squid: <3