Cheese Filtered Cigarette

US Patent 3,234,948 / Issued 1966 What Is It? a) Cheese filtered cigarette? b) Tammy Faye Baker heavy duty eyebrow pencil & industrial marker? c) Core sampling device for sandwiches? d) Exploding novelty pool cue? Smoking more and enjoying it less? Perhaps what you need is a flavorful cheese filtered cigarette! According to the inventor, current cigarette filters (circa 1966) don't filter enough tar and nicotine from tobacco smoke. He's discovered that cheese makes a very efficient tobacco filter. But wait! Before you go dipping your cigarette into last week's leftover, gooey Brei, you need to follow this simple recipe; use only a hard cheese such as Parmesan, Romano or Swiss. (What, no smoked Gouda?) Grate the cheese into small pieces & mix with one third part charcoal. The charcoal helps absorb cheese oil and keeps the cheese filter from becoming rancid and odorous before it reaches your lips. Hey, now we know what to do with all of that government surplus cheese! P.S. For more absurd patents, don't forget to visit the Absurd Archive...