Me: Jesus Google.

Google: What?

Me: Obama is the antichrist? Your auto-complete seem a bit slanted.

Google: We also say he could be the devil. Antichrist and devil are two different things bro.

Me: What about ‘Obama is the President’?

Google: I guess, but everybody knows that already.

Me: But that’s the point of Google, Google! To give access to actual information.

Google: Don’t tell me what the point of me is! I’m for three things - finding youtube videos, google imaging Scarlett Johansson’s butt pics and directions. That’s it. If you got a problem, you can go to Bing.

Me: Well we both know I’m not doing that.

Google: Damn right, now check out this cat that looks like Wilford Brimely.





Me: (squeals)