Everything was white.

And the world had slowed to a crawl.

Nonetheless, Ruby Rose could not understand it.

Everything was disjointed, unconnected.

It had been quiet. She had just been asking around. And then Yang was dying, and the ambulance showed up, and they wouldn't let Ruby into it, and then they followed it here, and now she was waiting.

Where the world was slow.

Overdose?

But still made no sense.

Everything was white here, too. It was all clean and disinfected and white. No color. No nothing. Faceless people walked by. Faceless friends sat across from her. But there was only white walls. That's all that was real. That's all she could bring herself to know.

"I don't understand." Ruby whispered hoarsely, throat ragged and raw.

"Me neither," Blake whispered from beside her.

"Why would Yang-"

"Because she was broken." Blake's voice caught and snapped for a moment. "She just… Stopped trying. Stopped caring."

"But…" Ruby couldn't understand any of it.

She just. Couldn't. Understand.

"It started with drinking." Blake squeezed her eyes shut and shoved them against her palms, rocking back in the chair. "And then sometime that wasn't enough. And it just kept getting worse."

"Why though… Yang was always so…"

"I-"

"Which one of you is Blake Belladonna?" A tall, thin man in a white coat came over, holding a clipboard. Blake stood. "Miss Xiao Long has you listed as her emergency contact. Can I ask you a few questions please?" Blake nodded numbly. He looked around the small crowd that had gathered in the waiting room. "Perhaps it would be best if we talked in private."

Blake left.

Ruby had so many questions.

But all there was was white. White and waiting.

She really hoped Yang was alive.

The walls were so white.

What would she do if Yang was dead?

"Hey Blake!" Yang called with a bright smile on her face, skipping up to the faunus as she sat in her bed, absently playing with a strand of hair as her eyes skipped over line after line of text. Her eyes flicked up and her stomach flip-flopped when she saw that shining smile and those violet eyes.

"Hi Yang," Blake replied quietly after a moment, flipping the ribbon on the spine of the book over to mark her page before snapping the book closed. "What's up?"

"Wonderin' if I can ask you a favour!" Lilac irises flashed joyously at Blake, and she couldn't help but find herself smiling.

"Anything," Blake replied softly, hoping Yang didn't read into it too much.

"Awesome! Can you brush my hair for me?" Blake's mouth popped open and she looked at Yang with a tilted head. Nobody touched Yang's hair but Yang. Yang looked at her sheepishly. "There's this one spot in the middle of my back that I just can't reach. You'd be doing me a solid."

"Um… Alright," Blake managed to stammer out. Yang grinned, and Blake felt herself doing the same, drawn to that magnetic personality.

"Great! Lean up against the wall." Yang tossed Blake a brush and then hopped onto the faunus' bed, letting herself bounce as she got into a sitting position, and then scooted up close to Blake, sitting between her legs.

Tentatively, Blake reached out to run her hands through Yang's hair, feeling the silky strands slide through her fingertips. The midday sun shone through the open window and lit the already golden strands up like a star, and it was like running her fingers through molten gold.

She brought the brush up to run it through Yang's hair, and it slid through it effortlessly. Blake kept good care of her own hair, but even it felt some resistance as she brushed it in the mornings. Yang's though was almost liquid. Not a strand caught on the brush, not even in the middle of Yang's back, where she claimed she could not reach.

As Blake moved to the side of yang's head, the blonde looked to the side slightly, giving Blake a perfect view of the woman's sculpted cheekbones and full eyelashes. She could see the outline of the nose against the burning fire of the sun, and the faintest whisper of breath snaked out of Yang, through warm lips that glimmered in the amber light.

Blake paused for a minute, and the hair in the brush slid free, a strand falling over Yang's forehead and tickling her cheek. Instinctively, Blake reached out and slid the liquid gold behind Yang's ear, tucking it in gently before trailing her finger down Yang's cheek..

Yang stilled, and Blake heard her breath hitch.

"Sorry," Blake said, lowering her hand and bringing it hesitantly back to her lap, lowering her eyes.

"No, it's okay!" Yang said politely. Blake squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. That had been stupid.

"Really, Blake," Yang insisted, her voice dropping a little this time. A smile tilted those scintillating lips up, and it was Blake's turn to lose her breath.

Yang reached her hand up and slid the hair that had fallen onto her chest back over her shoulder, offering it to Blake. For a moment, Blake lost herself in the gentle curve of Yang's exposed neck as it sparkled in the sunlight. Then, she picked up the hair and resumed her brushing in comfortable silence. She was just enjoying their proximity.

"Blake?"

"Mm?"

"What do you think happens after Beacon?" Blake paused in her brushing, and Yang took the opportunity to slide her hair over her shoulder and lean back against Blake. Blake paused, speechless for a moment, as Yang leaned her head against her shoulder.

"I- I guess we start hunting."

"As a team?"

"I don't think so," Blake murmured, still entirely distracted.

"Why not?" Yang's voice took on a bit of a tone, but Blake missed it.

"Well, Weiss is probably going to hunt in Atlas, if she doesn't take a job there instead. I'm guessing you and Ruby are going to stay here." Blake realized that her fingers were gently stroking through Yang's hair, but her partner didn't seem conscious of it. Or she didn't mind.

"And what about you?" Yang asked, uncharacteristically quietly.

"I don't know," Blake frowned. She hadn't thought about it.

"Will you stay here?" Blake was looking out the window now, and missed the look of worry on her partner's face.

"I don't think so. I want to help undo what the White Fang's done. I want to build a name in Atlas, where everyone thinks the faunus are most hated. If I can do something there, if I can become a notable huntress there of all places, maybe some of the corporations will second guess their labor practices. Maybe the children faunus living in the streets because they're scared of being taken to the same camps their parents were taken to will look up and have some hope. Then they won't have to join up with the White Fang just to survive. Maybe they can become something more."

Yang was silent and still for a minute, and the two of them let the sun's rays beam onto them, tickling their skin, pressed together as it was.

"What if Ruby and I go with you? We can be a team there." Blake shook her head.

"I have to show that the faunus can stand by themselves. As much as I know that you and Ruby don't believe it, others would say that a faunus can only be a good huntress if there are humans helping her. They wouldn't see me as a good huntress, they'd see you and Ruby as the huntresses, and me as the family pet."

"... We'll still see each other though, right?" Yang rose from her place next to Blake, crossing her legs and looking up to the sky.

"Yang, we'll be huntresses. Of course we'll see each other, but how often will we both have time off missions at the same time? How often will that overlap allow for travel time? If… If I want to do this properly, I have to be dedicated."

Yang was perfectly still. Blake wondered if she had said something. The idea of not seeing Yang pained her, but the dream of them being together every day was a far off fantasy anyhow. No matter how much Blake's dreams were filled with gold and sunshine, her place was under the stars and shattered moon. She was to be a huntress, and that came with a price.

"Thanks for the hand." Yang muttered and stood, walking out of the dorm room, slamming the door behind her. Blake stayed sat in her bed for a moment, stunned and still. She picked her book back up, flipped it open to the page. In the hour and a half that it took for Yang to return alongside her sister and Weiss, Blake had not read a single word.

Blake's eyes flicked open, to the greyed walls around her. In the daytime, they would be white, but the shadows of the stars had dimmed the room to a gentle blueish-grey.

She could hear her heartbeat in her ears. She could hear the drips of the IV in the bag feeding into Yang's arm, trying its hardest to keep her alive. The doctors had warned that there wasn't anything else they could do. Yang would either wake up, or her heart would give out.

Once upon a time, Blake would have been certain that her partner would pull through. Yang Xiao Long had been the strongest woman she had known. She stood up for the weak, she never gave up, she would push herself to the breaking point, and then keep going without a second thought.

But the Yang that was lying in front of her, skin so pasty white that Blake could see the web of blue and purple veins snaking through her skin, was not the same Yang. At least Blake didn't think so. Had Yang just been a broken ruin the whole time, putting a smile on her beautiful face to hide the pain and fragility that threatened to snap her soul at the slightest tap? Had Yang ever been strong?

Blake didn't know.

And honestly, she no longer cared. All that she cared about now was that the girl in front of her woke up. She would throw her own life to the wind if it would bring Yang back, full and functional. If Blake could heal her partner's broken heart, she would willingly give her soul.

As it were though, there was nothing Blake could do. No magical healing, no spells, no fairy dust and no fairy tale ending. All she could do was sit and wait, counting the drips of the IV and the beats of her heart until the poison either burned through Yang and took her away, or it worked its way out in the grimy layer of sweat that coated Yang and made her glisten in the dim light.

Blake stood, unable to just sit there anymore, and walked over to Yang's side, sitting on the side of the gurney. It squeaked and groaned as she gently set herself down next to the broken girl in front of her.

Yang's hair was fanned out around her face like some sort of halo, golden and bright, the last lustrous part of her. But it was all tangled and knotted, something Yang would never let happen. Blake ran her fingers through the golden locks, sighing at the familiar silky river-like flow of it. She squeezed her eyes shut, doing what little she could to still her leaping heart as it tried to burst inside her chest. It ached, it squeezed, it cried out in unfathomable pain.

"What happened to you Yang?" She murmured, hand leaving the threads of gold to trail down Yang's cheek. It was sticky with the filth and sweat of humanity, and so, so ghostly pale. It felt a little like butter, Blake thought. "Where did you go? When did you get lost?"

Yang's hand twitched, and Blake's breath stopped dead in her lungs. Her eyes shot up to the little machine with lines jumping up and down, making a saw-tooth pattern, except that one was missing. Yang's heart had skipped a beat. Blake watched the machine closely, making sure the heartbeat regulated itself, before turning her eyes back down to meet closed eyes.

Blake wondered if this is what Yang felt like, right before she took those pills. The desperate, panicked flutter of her heart, the twisting of her guts as if some serpent were twisting through her and constricting all of her organs, the heart wrenching hopelessness and helplessness of her existence…

Blake wondered if she was given a chance for all that to go away if she wouldn't take it. Yang had been absolutely giddy as the drugs slowly disjointed the function of each organ. Blake was wondering if she herself would ever laugh again. Was it so horrible to take a little pill to make herself feel happy once again?

Looking at Yang now though, Blake knew she wasn't happy. Whatever she had seen in that bathroom as her heart shattered as Yang kissed some random person, seeing the blood leak out of her nose…

That was not happiness. Blake didn't know what it was, but even though Yang might have laughed and smiled, she had not been happy.

"What if you die-" Blake's voice cracked as the word fell from her throat in a desperate fall. "What if I never see you again?"

A tear slid down her cheek, cool and wet. "What if the last time I see you is here, broken, poisoned, sad… What if I never get to see the girl you've become a ghost of? What if I never get to see the sun shine on your hair, lighting up the entire room? What if you don't smile again? What if the only thing I can ever remember of you is this? A blank expression, sick and pale?

"What if I never get to smile with you again?

"What if I meet someone with lilac eyes in the street, and all I can think of is you laughing as blood slides down your face?

"What if your whole life is this sad story? The one of an angel falling, and finally ripping her wings off to bleed to death?

"Yang..." A sob ripped itself from her throat as she squeezed the girl's hand, but she had no response. Just utter, complete, never ending blankness.

"What if I have to sit there staring at a sea of black clothes and talk about how beautiful you were as you lay in a casket behind me?

The tears fell freely now, sliding off her face to soak the bed next to Yang's face, still and impassive. Uncaring to the pleas of the girl begging with the skies to let her come back.

"What if I have to watch as they smother your light out with dirt as they bury you?

"What if I have to hug Ruby as she watches the final shovelful fall on your final resting place?

"What if I sit at a gravestone talking to you, because I had so much left to say?

"What if I don't get to tell you why I stayed in Vale after Beacon?

"What if I don't get to tell you why I followed you to Atlas?

"What if I don't get to tell you why I showed up at your hotel in the middle of the night after wandering the streets with broken moonbeams to light my way?

"Do...

"Do you have any idea what it would be like without you?

"...

"Dust... Yang...

"What if-

"What if I don't get to tell you-

"If I-

"If I don't get to tell you I l-

"...

"I love you…"

A/N:

This is awful. This is trash. I'm so sorry... This was terrible and awful and I'm sorry.

I'll do better next time. I promise.

First things first though, YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!

Over 200 reviews? Over 500 follows? Almost 300 favs?

Holy shiznats. Y'all are awesome. I've almost left this story a few times now because I didn't think I was a good enough author to keep it going. I didn't think I could live up to your hopes... But you seem to still be enjoying it. So I'll keep writing.

Anyways, this is the chapter where we find out what most of you have probably already figured out. Also, this should be the only other dream/flashback we see. I was going to do some with Weiss and Ruby to show their old relationship, but that defeats the whole point of the letters. If you all want though, I can make a side story with fluffy AF white rose.

Anyways, I did my best. I hope you liked it somewhat. This was a long time coming for Blake. She just needed to say it out loud. But just like Weiss and Ruby, is it too little too late? Well, if you're reading closely, you know the answer ;)

Last time I answered a few questions, you all seemed to enjoy it. So I'll try to do that every 2-3 chapters from here on out.

chapter 17:

Dark holt: Yeah... White walkers XD. Thought it was a fun little easter egg. Also, I haven't read all of the books, only the first one. I'll get around to that.

SakraDevanamWR: Yeah.. It's a lot slower than I thought it would be. Initially, this was supposed to be about 20k words long, but then the chapters got more fleshed out, and the characters needed a little more time to themselves... I couldn't just focus on Ruby because it killed so many aspects of the story that make Ruby's story so much clearer.

foreignpinoy: I thought I had made Ruby's eye color clearer than apparently I had. They're the same shade as Weiss'. That is something that I thought I had already included, but maybe I missed it.

chapter 18:

kaiju62: I mussed up! It was supposed to be "can no more make a koi than I could a nightingale." I was writing too fast and must have missed it. Apologies, and thanks for pointing it out!

levi97100: I reallllly wanted to get the bartender knocked out. But Pyrrha knows that huntresses and huntsman have to be above low insults to pride. She's better than giving into that.

Guest: I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the chapter. I will say though, I've been trying to build up how Yang's been doing this kind of thing for years. She felt dirty in the club because she's spent so much time there, and with Ruby back and seeing everyone else again (sober), she knew how what she had done was... Questionable. I hoped I had built it up enough, but I suppose not all feel that way. I'll strive to do better in the future.

Finally, thanks for reading! If you're sticking with this, I'm going to try and get on a one week release schedule for the summer, but that's kind of work dependant.

Cheers,

-Unjax