For the supremely maladjusted folk who make their living lunching politicians, and I speak of course of Her Majesty’s Westminster press corps, it is occasionally whispered of Theresa May that, by the end, even the cutlery is glancing toward the exit.

But even by her own uniquely low standards, it would appear that last week’s Downing Street dinner with EU Commission President Jean Claude Juncker has reached previously unknown depths of awkwardness.

It’s the little details – all of them diligently leaked by Juncker’s mates to a German newspaper – that do it.

UK news in pictures Show all 50 1 /50 UK news in pictures UK news in pictures 15 September 2020 People enjoying the autumn sunshine as they punt along the River Cam in Cambridge PA UK news in pictures 14 September 2020 Early morning light bathes the skyscrapers of the City of London, at the start of a week in which the UK is expected to bask in temperatures of more than 30 degrees PA UK news in pictures 13 September 2020 England celebrate after they dismissed Australia's Alex Carey to win the second ODI match of the series at Emirates Old Trafford, Manchester PA UK news in pictures 12 September 2020 Protesters outside BBC Broadcasting House in central London, as marches and rallies form across the country calling for a 15% pay rise for NHS workers and an increase in NHS funding PA UK news in pictures 11 September 2020 An empty migrant dinghy floats off the beach at St Margaret's Bay after the occupants landed from France in Dover Getty UK news in pictures 10 September 2020 A view of small boats thought to be used in migrant crossings across the Channel at a storage facility in Dover, Kent PA UK news in pictures 9 September 2020 EU's chief negotiator Michel Barnier, left, arriving from the Eurostar with EU Ambassador to the UK, Portuguese diplomat Joao Vale de Almeida at St Pancras International railway station, London, for the latest round of the negotiations on a free trade deal between the EU and the UK PA UK news in pictures 8 September 2020 Dawn over Coquet Island, a small island off Amble on the Northumberland coast PA UK news in pictures 7 September 2020 A hovercraft arrives to Southsea, Hampshire from the Isle of Wight PA UK news in pictures 6 September 2020 Forensics officers near the scene of multiple reported stabbings in Birmingham Reuters UK news in pictures 5 September 2020 Anti-migrant protesters demonstrate in Dover against immigration and the journeys made by refugees crossing the Channel to Kent PA UK news in pictures 4 September 2020 Activists take part in a demonstration against the HS2 hi-speed rail line outside the Department of Transport AFP via Getty UK news in pictures 3 September 2020 Peter Baker, who plays Trigger in the musical version of Only Fools and Horses, sweeps the stage of the Theatre Royal Haymarket in London, after observing a 15 minute silence to show solidarity with those in the theatre industry that have lost their jobs due to the coronavirus pandemic PA UK news in pictures 2 September 2020 Kadie Lane, right, 11, and Brooke Howourth, 11, hug on their walk to Marden Bridge Middle School in Whitley Bay, Tyne and Wear, for their first day of term, as schools in England reopen to pupils following the coronavirus lockdown PA UK news in pictures 1 September 2020 Extinction Rebellion protesters sitting outside The Houses of Parliament in Westminster, London PA UK news in pictures 31 August Surfers at Long Sands Beach, Tynemouth PA UK news in pictures 30 August Black Lives Matter protesters march through Notting Hill in London in the first Million People March EPA UK news in pictures 29 August A protester reacts as she demonstrates against the lockdown and use of face masks, amid the coronavirus disease outbreak, outside Downing Street in London Reuters UK news in pictures 28 August Caribbean soca dancers display their costumes as they promote the first ever digital Notting Hill Carnival, following the cancellation of the normal Carnival festivities due to the continued spread of the coronavirus disease, in London Reuters UK news in pictures 27 August Father and son team Chris and Sam Milford from historic building conservation specialists WallWalkers begin restoration work on the spire of Norwich Cathedral, which stands at over 312ft high. 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Driver Brett McCullough, conductor Donald Dinnie, and a passenger were killed when the 6.38am Aberdeen to Glasgow Queen Street service crashed amid heavy rain and flooding BBC UK news in pictures 11 August 2020 A woman hydrates in the sun after open water swimming at the West Reservoir Centre in north London Tolga Akmen/AFP via Getty UK news in pictures 10 August 2020 Prime Minister Boris Johnson takes part in an archery session as he visits Premier Education Summer Camp at Sacred Heart of Mary Girls' in Upminster Reuters UK news in pictures 9 August 2020 People cycle through Cambridge as the heatwave continues in Britain EPA UK news in pictures 8 August 2020 Healthcare workers take part in a protest in London over pay conditions in the NHS Getty UK news in pictures 7 August 2020 Emergency services make their way along the seafront on Bournemouth beach in Dorset on one of the hottest days of the year PA UK news in pictures 6 August 2020 Alison Murphy poses for a picture by husband Peter as she walks through a field of sunflowers in Altrincham, Cheshire PA UK news in pictures 5 August 2020 Pakistan's Abid Ali being bowled by England's Jofra Archer during day one of the First Test match at the Emirates Old Trafford, Manchester PA UK news in pictures 4 August 2020 The 'Timbuktu tumblers' from Kenya perform their balancing act on the Southsea waterfront as Zippos Circus reopens in Portsmouth Rex UK news in pictures 3 August 2020 Pelicans interact with a visitor in St James's Park in London PA UK news in pictures 2 August 2020 Lewis Hamilton drives with a puncture towards the finish line to win the Formula One British Grand Prix at Silverstone POOL/AFP via Getty UK news in pictures 1 August 2020 Arsenal's Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang celebrates with the trophy and teammates after winning the FA Cup, as play resumes behind closed doors following the outbreak of the coronavirus disease Pool via Reuters UK news in pictures 31 July 2020 People enjoy the sunny weather at a Bournemouth Beach Reuters UK news in pictures 30 July 2020 An artist puts the finishing touches to a wax figure of Prime Minister Boris Johnson, in the entrance line at Madame Tussaud's in London, as the attraction prepares to reopen to the public following the easing of lockdown restrictions in England PA UK news in pictures 29 July 2020 A member of staff stands on Ai Weiwei's 'History of Bombs' during a photocall for the Chinese artist's new work on display at the Imperial War Museum in London PA UK news in pictures 28 July 2020 Stuart Broad celebrates after taking the wicket of West Indies batsman Kraigg Brathwaite. It was a milestone wicket in his career, reaching his 500th Test Wicket for England. They went on to beat the West Indies in Manchester and therefore win the series 2-1 Getty/ECB

Not once, not twice but fully three times, as Juncker points out that “Brexit cannot be a success” does David Davis interject to tell a favourite anecdote about the time he took the Home Office to court over illegal data retention and won – while the Home Office was being run by a woman called Theresa May.

But it is there that perhaps one should stop laughing. With the Brexit penny having been in freefall for almost a full year now (rather like its friend, the pound), it’s theoretically possible, though unlikely, that the full and frank details of the first meaningful Brexit meeting might be enough for the Brexiteers finally to acknowledge its descent.

The persistent warnings of Angela Merkel and Donald Tusk have been diligently ignored by much of the nation since long before the referendum. Could Jean Claude Juncker walking out of Downing Street and declaring himself “ten times more sceptical than before” about the possibility of any kind of Brexit deal being struck be the little detail that finally captures their attention?

Sadly, for those of us trying to close our eyes and visualise the sheer glorious horror of it all, the leaked information does not detail whether it was over starters, mains or to fill a conversational gap between courses that the Prime Minister attempted to move the conversation on from the £50bn bill she is refusing to settle to the question of “How do we make a success of all this?”

How Brexit affected Britain's favourite foods from Weetabix to Marmite Show all 8 1 /8 How Brexit affected Britain's favourite foods from Weetabix to Marmite How Brexit affected Britain's favourite foods from Weetabix to Marmite Weetabix Chief executive of Weetabix Giles Turrell has warned that the price of one of the nation’s favourite breakfast are likely to go up this year by low-single digits in percentage terms. Reuters How Brexit affected Britain's favourite foods from Weetabix to Marmite Nescafé The cost of a 100g jar of Nescafé Original at Sainsbury’s has gone up 40p from £2.75 to £3.15 – a 14 per cent rise—since the Brexit vote. PA How Brexit affected Britain's favourite foods from Weetabix to Marmite Freddo When contacted by The Independent this month, a Mondelez spokesperson declined to discuss specific brands but confirmed that there would be "selective" price increases across its range despite the American multi-national confectionery giant reporting profits of $548m (£450m) in its last three-month financial period. Mondelez, which bought Cadbury in 2010, said rising commodity costs combined with the slump in the value of the pound had made its products more expensive to make. Cadbury How Brexit affected Britain's favourite foods from Weetabix to Marmite Mr Kipling cakes Premier Foods, the maker of Mr Kipling and Bisto gravy, said that it was considering price rises on a case-by-case basis Reuters How Brexit affected Britain's favourite foods from Weetabix to Marmite Walkers Crisps Walkers, owned by US giant PepsiCo, said "the weakened value of the pound" is affecting the import cost of some of its materials. A Walkers spokesman told the Press Association that a 32g standard bag was set to increase from 50p to 55p, and the larger grab bag from 75p to 80p. Getty How Brexit affected Britain's favourite foods from Weetabix to Marmite Marmite Tesco removed Marmite and other Unilever household brand from its website last October, after the manufacturer tried to raise its prices by about 10 per cent owing to sterling’s slump. Tesco and Unilever resolved their argument, but the price of Marmite has increased in UK supermarkets with the grocer reporting a 250g jar of Marmite will now cost Morrisons’ customers £2.64 - an increase of 12.5 per cent. Rex How Brexit affected Britain's favourite foods from Weetabix to Marmite Toblerone Toblerone came under fire in November after it increased the space between the distinctive triangles of its bars. Mondelez International, the company which makes the product, said the change was made due to price rises in recent months. Pixabay How Brexit affected Britain's favourite foods from Weetabix to Marmite Maltesers Maltesers, billed as the “lighter way to enjoy chocolate”, have also shrunk in size. Mars, which owns the brand, has reduced its pouch weight by 15 per cent. Mars said rising costs mean it had to make the unenviable decision between increasing its prices or reducing the weight of its Malteser packs. iStockphoto

Nor do we know who spoke next after Juncker breezily informed her that “Brexit cannot be a success,” but if there are three re-tellings of the data retention story to shoehorn into the busy narrative it’s probably fair to imagine one of them coming here.

That the next morning, when Angela Merkel addressed the German parliament and told them “some in the UK still have illusions” about Brexit, we now know to have been a direct reference to the Prime Minister herself, should tell an electorate all it needs to know about the “strong and stable leadership” Theresa May is promising.

I happen to have pointed out, many times, how Theresa May’s sales pitch is utterly identical to the “strong and stable government with me or chaos under Ed Miliband” her predecessor won an unexpected majority with, and used it to detonate the national currency, then resign at dawn to usher in a new era of chaos the like of which has never been seen.

But it won’t matter. Nothing alters the choice on offer. It is simply sheer bad luck for us all that we live suddenly in an age where the two main parties have rendered themselves utterly incapable of the task of governing the country.