MINEOLA, NY — “I can’t believe these uber dorks are still around… for me to poop on,” said Triumph the Insult Comic Dog between drags of his cigar. Last night, Triumph and his handler, comedian Robert Smigel, arrived unannounced to a house party celebrating the 20th anniversary of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

“Triumph is always welcome,” said 39-year old Jimmy Klepeck, who hosted the festivities inside his mancave/apartment within the basement to his parent’s home. Klepeck and a smattering of cosplaying thirty-somethings were live-tweeting their special viewing of the oft ridiculed Star Wars film when Triumph barged in.

“I could smell the virgin stench all the way from Exit 26 on the LIE [Long Island Expressway]. Can you believe it?! After 20 years, these guys still haven’t seen any female genitalia!” –Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

For approximately two hours, Triumph heckled the Star Wars fans just like he did 20 years ago outside the Ziegfeld Theater in a now-classic Late Night With Conan O’Brien segment.



Jimmy Klepeck, fan of The Phantom Menace and resident of his parents’ basement.

“Call me nostalgic but getting ridiculed by Triumph just felt so right. For one night, my parent’s house was the Ziegfeld! Triumph pooped on my Funko Pop collection, my Darth Maul cosplay — he even pooped on my neighbor’s yard.” — Jimmy Klepeck

As for the scheduled live tweeting, the Insult Comic Dog staged a Twitter takeover of Klepeck’s account, posting a series of selfies with the nerds along with Star Wars-themed jokes accompanied by — what else — poop emojis.

“I don’t know what is sadder: these nerds still loving The Phantom Menace or me still loving to poop on them for it. I will tell you this though. There were like 10 Jedi, 3 Darth Mauls, and only one Padme there — and it was a dude! Now I know why Blackwolf the Dragonmaster bailed,” said Triumph.

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—William “Willybobo” Bobo