The Rage Returns

Day 130 of A Year of War and Peace

Rage, Tacuinum Sanitatis casanatensis — 14th century (SOURCE)

Nikolai is angry again.

Rage has historically been a problem for young Nikolai Rostov. We know that. Though he has made some progress towards attaining mental tranquility and balance in his life today he loses it completely. His progress is viciously erased as he interviews Mitenka about the family’s finances.

We’re not offered any specifics about what the books look like but we can tell from Nikolai’s reaction that they’re probably not too good. In fact, they’re probably pretty bad. Nikolai explodes in anger. He screams with bloodshot eyes and a reddened face. He thrashes Mitenka, accusing him of theft and he then he throws the guy down the stairs.

Later, as his father speaks to him about Mitenka, Nikolai says something to himself that, if anyone is listening, I would like engraved on my tombstone:

I knew that I should never understand anything in this crazy world.

In the end, after his anger has subsided, Nikolai decides that addressing the family finances is too difficult a task and that he’ll take up hunting instead.

This chapter brings us another opportunity to meditate on how best to negotiate a world so full of Mitenkas. There is simply no escaping them. They’re at work. They’re at school. They’re out on the street. They’re all over the internet. Nikolai’s reaction is unhelpful even if it is understandable. Just look at how distraught and stressed he is. There must be another way.

DAILY MEDITATION