You are going to have to pick one: Many lovers OR regular sex. Married couples have sex FAR more frequently than singles. "Deep down", what turns me on is the love and commitment of my wonderful husband. Many women eventually come to feel the same way. How many women in their forties are still interested in "bad boys"? A person who is turned on by jerky, arrogant behavior - of either sex - is still a bit immature, in my view. This is the sort of person who likes to play games and maipulate - or who wants to "save" a loserly partner. My husband is very masculine, by the way. He is hard-working, honest, sincere, and protective over me and the kids. No goopy hair gel or bawling at sad movies, here. (Although he did cry at the birth of our son.) He does not seek to intimidate others - he seeks to provide for his household. You seem to be confusing Hitler and Machiavelli with *real men*.