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I straight up LOVED the first season of American Horror Story. It was inventive, beautiful to look at, passionately acted, and paid respectful homage to all of the horror that came before it. The visual atmosphere, the music, the varied and wonderful characters, and all their intriguing stories…the whole thing was just sublime. American Horror Story was incredible fun for die-hard horror fans—with enough terror, drama, and comedy to bring in non-genre fans.

For those of you who didn’t get the memo, AHS has an anthology format. Each season will bring a new location, new characters, and new freaky weirdness to scare the hell out of us. Happily, we also get a lot of the same fab, ensemble cast.

Jessica Lange’s return was announced last winter. I avoided a lot of the pre-season hype, so I found out just tonight that Evan Peters and Sarah Paulson were back. Frances Conroy is expected to show up soon, as is prolific TV actor Zachary Quinto, who will play Dr. Oliver. Today it was announced that the yummy Dylan McDermott will appear later this season. I swear, McDermott hasn’t aged a day since he founded the legal firm of Donnell and Associates back in the 1990’s. Can’t wait!

Tonight. We began with a standard horror trope, acted and directed with complete awareness of what a standard trope it is. Randy newlyweds giggle merrily, frolicking through the abandoned mental asylum taking pictures and having sexy times. We all know that never turns out well in a horror scenario. We aren’t exactly sure why they don’t know that. Jerky, swooping camera action throws disorientation and dread all over us as we await the inevitable. When is it ever a good idea to stick any part of your body through any small opening anywhere? It’s difficult to pity that guy.

Flash to 1964. One of the things AHS excels at is weaving stories together. Separate characters, families, time periods…it all comes together in the end. Enter Kit Walker, a nice guy in a *gasp* interracial relationship. Just as we’re afraid that he’s about to get foiled up by local jackasses, something far more unexpected than racism explodes in a flurry of bright lights and weird magnetism. Aliens. It’s gotta be, right? Except that nobody else lived to tell the tale; and poor Kit is now believed to be a gruesome, skin-ripping killer.

Finally, we are welcomed to Briarcliff. It’s dilapidated, cold, dark, dirty…everything we fear that a reclusive asylum in the 60’s would be. We see torturous “treatments,” and a complete misunderstanding of what mental illness is and how to effectively address it. There is rampant religious abuse, tyrannical micro-management, assorted violence, and this godawful French playground music that I’ll either despise or have as my ringtone by the end of the season.

Sarah Paulson is fun as Lana, the investigative journalist (how’s THAT for a standard trope?) who ends up in a profoundly unfortunate predicament by the episode’s end. Lana also sports a gold initial pin on her lapel that would make Penny Marshall proud. More social commentary emerges when Lana’s lesbian relationship is leveraged against her partner. Sister Jude threatens Wendy (Clea DuVall) with being forcibly outed. Sadly, Wendy relents and commits her partner to Briarcliff. It’s worth noting that people actually were committed for being gay as recently as—well, I’m told it still goes on. True horrors are always scarier than imaginary ones anyway, right?

Joseph Fiennes plays the Monsignor whose motives we can’t quite ascertain yet. What we do know is that Sister Jude is sweet on him. He’s awfully handsome, after all. Like they say, she who crows the loudest about lust is always the nun in the red lingerie. Well, maybe they don’t say that—but they will. We know that the handsome Monsignor recruited Dr. Arden (James Cromwell) for whatever crazy gamma ray, dissection, scrambled brain action he’s working on down there. They’re hinting that he may be in league with the aliens—unless he’s actually the comrade of some other unconnected monster. You never know with this show.

The cast is rounded out with curious characters like Chloe Sevigne as the aggressive nymphomaniac, Shelly. Lily Rabe is weirdly adorable as the masochistic Sister Mary Eunice. Spanish TV veteran Mark Consuelos appeared briefly as the filthy Spivy. Also prominently featured this week was the soundtrack to Carrie. Mmmmm…Carrie. Watch for the simultaneously friendly and deadly patient who looks straight out of Tod Browning’s Freaks.

What do we know? The sadistic Sister Jude doesn’t believe in monsters—but does believe that “mental illness is the fashionable explanation for sin.” She is directly at odds with Dr. Arden, the scientist looking to physically remove the cause of violent behavior. Both are essentially conducting experiments that kill and torture patients; both employ a support staff that loves to dole out beatings. We also know that not everyone on staff is as offended by Shelly’s nymphomania as Sister Jude. Speaking of Shelly, I presumed that they were shaving her head in order to give her Electroshock “Therapy.” But it didn’t happen and wasn’t mentioned specifically. Anyone who’s read One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest knows that ECT is rumored to have been used punitively by unscrupulous staff.

What don’t we know? What attacked our newlyweds in the opening scene? Why did the Monsignor recruit that crazy doctor—and what the hell is he doing down there? What are they feeding in the woods? Who or what clawed into those walls? Aliens?!? Is Lana really going to receive the best of care? (LOL, no.) How did I never realize how much Evan Peters looks like a young Malcolm McDowell?

With one episode down, I’m very impressed. I love this formula and from what I saw tonight, this series looks even more planned and purposeful than the last. This format of one full story per season is brilliant. It encourages tight, enthusiastic writing that has a clear beginning, middle, and end.

American Horror Story: Asylum promises to be even better than the first season. The subject matter is inherently scarier; the creepy sexiness is multilayered and adds a uncomfortably odd layer to every character. James Cromwell hasn’t been this scary since the remake of ‘Salem’s Lot. I have to admit; I’m biased. Insanity is one of my favorite themes, and one that I can’t shut up about in my own horror stories. I’m taken in by the creepy antiquated imagery. The sound and art direction are more focused than last season. I feel amply rewarded for all that tedious waiting I had to do before AHS finally showed its (Bloody) face again.

“Welcome to Briarcliff” ends with our modern day heroine still trying to escape the purportedly abandoned asylum and save her unarmed husband. (See what I did there?) It’s a chilling ending. We’re freaked out. The suspense is palpable. We’re on the edge of our seats–

Suddenly: Bloody Face.

See you next week!

–Wednes