GREAT UNDERGROUND SUBWAY

The Great Underground Subway, informally known as the Underground Underground, is also a political movement. Installed sometime shortly before 966 GUE, this subway was rumored to be the fastest way to get around underground, barring spells, potions, and all other forms of sorcereous spatial manipulations. But there were a few cutbacks, and then a few more, and thus its usefulness was hindered by a couple of rather serious flaws.First, it was somewhat difficult to navigate through the myriad of disconnected subway lines and reach any sort of intended destination. And since the subway would not pick one up unless a target location was entered, few people were ever able to get on board. Secondly, the engineers never got around to installing the brakes. Thus once a destination was somehow chosen, one had to wait at the edge of the platform and assume crash position as a giant white hand snatched the intended passager off the ground, depositing them within the car. Unboarding was done in much the same manner.There were at least six subway stations known of: near Port Foozle, Flood Control Dam #3, Steppinthrax Monastery, Hades, and an unknown station that was removed from the destination list by 1067 GUE. Prior to that same year, the escalator of the Steppinthrax Monastery station was demolished by the Grand Inquisitor in order to prevent unauthorized access to the Great Underground Empire.For a time, one of the subway cars was plagued by the droppings of a hungus.