“Every time someone tells the truth he gets mad — is that a good sign?” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“This tweet was written by a woman who is the author of a dating guide called ‘Making Love Great Again,’ which sounds like a text Trump would send his doctor after getting his Cialis prescription refilled: ‘Making Love. Great Again!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“A spokesperson for the White House said ‘the media chatter is ridiculous’ and that “Trump is ‘not firing Dr. Fauci.’ So, he is definitely firing Dr. Fauci.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“He’s going to fire Anthony Fauci, the only guy in the room who knows what the hell he’s talking about. And this is how it always happens: he retweets someone saying he should fire somebody, as if he doesn’t have the power to do that, then his staff denies it, then he fires the person anyway, and replaces them with the first guest he sees on Fox News. So get ready for new director of allergy and infectious disease, Kid Rock.” — STEPHEN COLBERT