Mr. Schori offered to give Mr. Trump a tour of the United Nations and introduce him to the secretary general, KOFI ANNAN.

''I want him to start thinking seriously about his neighbor, the United Nations,'' Mr. Schori said yesterday. ''Ted Turner, Bill Gates, a lot of people like Trump are doing something about world affairs, too. I would like to talk to him, not in a confrontational way, to see if he ever thinks of those things. I have some ideas that are quite obvious. The U.N. building is in need of refurbishing if he wants to.''

Mr. Trump said yesterday that he had not seen Mr. Schori's letter but would be happy to get together. ''I cannot for the life of me figure out how they can be spending more than a billion dollars in order to renovate and enlarge a building,'' he said. ''I would love to work with them so that they could save a tremendous amount of money.''

Then, a brainstorm that only Mr. Trump could have had: ''Perhaps the amount of money I save could be decucted from the amount the United States owes'' the United Nations. ''It would be a tremendous amount.''

Tree of Distinction

This is what can happen when children are better informed than their parents.

The real estate broker BARBARA CORCORAN hired five rickshaws -- yes, rickshaws, at $40 an hour -- to take some of her salespeople and their families to see the tree in Rockefeller Center.