I just love thinking up ways to punish women who've been not-really-raped. Like all good Republicans do.

I just love thinking up ways to punish women who've been not-really-raped. Like all good Republicans do.

I was talking about forcible rape. I used the wrong word.

Whew. Great news, everyone. We no longer need to be upset that Rep. Todd Akin, an actual member of the House and an actual Senate candidate, said that women have magical ladyparts to protect them from rape sperm when they are victims of "legitimate rape." Because that's not what he meant at all. As he explained on Mike Huckabee's radio show:Ohhhh. Well, obviously talking about "legitimate rape" is totally out of line. But talking about "forcible rape"? That just makes everything better, doesn't it?

It also puts him in line with the rest of the Republican Party—including, of course, the party's vice presidential nominee, Rep. Paul Ryan:



Paul Ryan also co-sponsored HR 3, the "No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion" bill in which Republicans tried to redefine rape so that it only applied to "forcible" rape so those fake rape victims would stop exploiting loopholes to cash in on fabulous gifts and prizes. Republicans pulled that part out of the bill so everyone would stop criticizing them, and then they tried to sneak it back in anyway.

The Romney campaign took the oh-so-bold step on Sunday night of announcing that "Governor Romney and Congressman Ryan disagree with Mr. Akin’s statement." This morning, after thinking about it, Romney added that Akin's comments were "offensive":



“Congressman’s Akin comments on rape are insulting, inexcusable, and, frankly, wrong,” Romney said. “Like millions of other Americans, we found them to be offensive.” [...] “I have an entirely different view,” Romney said. “What he said is entirely without merit and he should correct it.”

But now Akin has explained that he holds the same position as Romney's running mate: that there is a distinction between "forcible rape" and not-really-rape.

So, Mitt, are you still offended? Do you still disagree? Still hold an "entirely different view"? If so, sounds like you and your little buddy need to sit down and have a long talk.