Aaaaaaaand relax. With the long-heralded arrival of Santi Cazorla seemingly imminent, hopefully down the Colney chimney, we can now start looking forward to the start of the season with a squad that looks a whole lot more exciting than the fire in a zoo that heralded the start of last season.

Of the new arrivals so far, Cazorla feels like the biggest deal. I won’t pretend to have watched him extensively, but the reason he seems so key is because it’s been widely reported that he was Wenger’s first choice to fill the void left by Fabregas. Ahead even of my dashed man-crush Juan Mata.

If the boss wanted Cazorla that badly, then to have belatedly nabbed the player a year on – and apparently at a sensible price – feels like an absolutely key bit of business, especially as we lacked a creative spark at times last term, regardless of what happens next with Robin Van FuckyouIneverlovedyouanyway.

If Wenger’s intention was always to use Cazorla in the Cesc role, then you have to assume he’ll be starting most matches at the tip of the midfield triangle, with Ramsey – who could do with having someone to understudy from – and Rosicky – who could do with us not relying on his hammys – providing creative cover. In any case, we shouldn’t be troubling ourselves with who makes the 1st XI at this stage. The thing to focus on is that we’re in four competitions. We will need to rotate. We will, dare I suggest, pick up injuries. Having Cazorla on board makes all that seem a lot less of an awkward juggling job.

But like I said I have’t seen a huge amount of the player. Although I do know he scored nine times in the league last season (promisingly, eight of those were from outside the box – don’t worry we’ll drill that out of him), assisted a further five, and received the man of the match award nine times. Only Messi and Ronaldo had more. Oh, and he’s two-footed and owns an adorably ludicrous dog. Though not as adorably ludicrous as mine.

[As Arsene famously noted: “Everyone thinks they have the prettiest pooch at home.”]

To find out a little more about Cazorla, I contacted Luis from Opta’s Madrid office. (You can follow their Twitter account at OptaJose.) They are purveyors of the finest Iberian stats. Like: ‘Three players made over 1000 passes in the final third in LigaBBVA 11/12: Messi (1303), Xavi (1101) and Cazorla (1037). Brainy.’

Here’s what else he told me…

Can you give the readers an overall sense of what to expect from Cazorla?

Santi Cazorla is one of the most creative players in the Spanish league. His main skill is dribbling but he also has good vision for setting up goals. Additionally he has excelled in front of goal this season, with his highest-scoring campaign ever (nine league goals).

He played more as a winger for Malaga, but I understand he’s also comfortable behind the striker in midfield – is that so?

His usual position is on the wing but he can also play as a playmaker, more in the centre, and on occasion last season played an attacking role alongside the defensive midfielder Toulalan. However he usually plays in one of the two wide areas in the line of three midfielder-forwards sitting behind a central striker – a tactic Arsenal fans will be used to – so as to easily reach attacking positions and take advantage of his excellent shot from outside the area. This season he has also proved his worth as a decent free kick taker.

What other players, especially Premier League ones, would you compare him to?

Players who resemble him in the Premier League: Hazard, Nasri, Nani, Ben Arfa, Kagawa, Walcott, Marin or even Modric and Van der Vaart.

How would you describe his temperament on the pitch?

He is a player of calm temperament, and lets his football do the talking.

Do you see him slotting into the Arsenal style easily?

Personally I think it would be a great signing for Arsenal. Wenger’s game relies on fast, technical players in attacking areas and in this respect Cazorla fits in perfectly.

[deep breath] How’s his injury record?

He had a major injury, a broken fibula, before the World Cup in South Africa so he did not attend the competition.

Whoah. Let’s leave it there and focus instead on the fact he started every game for Malaga last term. Every game! STEP THE FUCK BACK, GARY O'DRISCOLL. THIS ONE SELF HEALS.

Right, enjoy your celebratory new signing tipple. I’m considering writing a broader overview of how I think our summer has gone (roughly: better than expected), although that will hugely depend on the puppy’s command of zonal pissing over the next week. Plus, we’re planning a podcast for, uh, soon-ish. In the meantime, why not read some great Cazorla features – here and here – written by the Guardian’s Spanish football savant, Sid Lowe.

Let me know what you think of Santi and the other signings in the comments. And whether you think we still need to bring in some additional bodies.

*cough* Nuri *cough* Sahin.

– TDC