Getting old sucks. I had a relatively long and busy day in the operating room yesterday, the kind of day that not so long ago I’d handle with no problem. This time around, though, it wiped me out, to the point where not long after dinner I crashed. Hard. Then I woke up around midnight long enough to drag my sorry posterior upstairs to my bed. It happens. It’s just that it seems to be happening more often these days.

So it was that I missed one of the most amusing Twitter happenings that I’ve seen in a long time; that is; until I woke up again early this AM. Dr. Oz just got pwned on Twitter.

Companies and celebrities who try to get a Twitter hashtag trending often find that it backfires spectacularly. So it was when America’s quack, Dr. Mehmet Oz, tried something yesterday afternoon:

What is your biggest question for me? Reply with #OzsInbox and I'll answer my favorites on http://t.co/8kjmALRoAd. — Dr. Mehmet Oz (@DrOz) November 11, 2014

Given Dr. Oz’s bear hug embrace of quackery since he started his syndicated daytime television show, you can guess the outcome. After all, Dr. Oz has been known for promoting reiki, homeopathy, faith healing, and even the use of psychics as grief counsellors in episodes featuring the ultimate psychic scammers, John Edward and “Long Island Medium” Theresa Caputo. He even appears to be well on the road to becoming antivaccine, if he’s not already antivaccine. His wife, after all, is a reiki master and it’s clear from his past statements that she doesn’t let him vaccinate their children with the flu vaccine, at least. Who knows what other vaccines he detests? In any case, the responses to Dr. Oz’s heartfelt plea for questions for his show did not go well.

In fact, I used to think that the most hilarious thing that happened this year with respect to the good Dr. Oz was when he was given a well-deserved tongue-lashing by Senator Claire McCaskill over his promotion of dubious dietary supplements. His butt hurt was epic, and much earned. I could be wrong, but the Twitter beat down he’s been receiving since last night (and through which I blissfully slept) might just qualify, although it’s nowhere near as well-publicized. Yet. Let’s try to change that, because I think more fun is definitely indicated, and there are lots more ways this can go.

But first, let’s take a look at the most recent Tweets on the hashtag itself as of today:

Some of my favorite Tweets thus far include:

.@DrOz how exactly do you define a "toxin"? My body eliminates toxins just fine why doesn't yours? @DrJenGunter #ozinbox — Matthew Wasco (@Gleason4plus5) November 12, 2014

Indeed. Oz seems to like to advocate detoxifying fashionably.

Next up:

@DrOz what kind of fruit juice do you recommend as an alternative to chemotherapy? #OzInBox — Jaytheist (@jetdoc10) November 11, 2014

Heh. On the one hand, I haven’t seen Dr. Oz peddle any blatant cancer quackery. Oh, wait. Strike that. Although I don’t recall hearing any cancer quacks on his TV show, he did interview Stanislaw Burzynski on his radio show (and did a rather credulous job of it, too). Of course, I might not remember other incidents. I don’t watch Oz’s show every day, after all! I only become aware of the rank quackery through others telling me about it or my finding it online. Sometimes I see a commercial for the upcoming episodes of Oz’s show.

Still, I can’t resist including a few more of my favorites:

Did you have to practice in a mirror to keep a shit-eating grin while peddling snake oil, or does it just come naturally? #ozinbox @DrOz — Kimbo (@kimbo_jones) November 12, 2014

Indeed. I’ve wondered that myself on many occasion. Then:

@DrOz #OzsInbox So, what is the BEST way to melt fat? Stovetop? Convection? Microwave? Or a good old fashion campfire? — Anowyn (@AnowynTweets) November 12, 2014

This should be an easy one, given how often Oz talks about “melting your fat away”! Now, here’s one that’s been eating at my mind for a while now:

@DrOz #OzsInbox Which Starbucks roast should I use for the most effective coffee enema? I was thinking Sumatra, but Verona is so smooth. — Anowyn (@AnowynTweets) November 12, 2014

Indeed. How to choose? Are flavored coffees a good idea or not a good idea? For instance, do hazelnuts have healing properties? If so, then hazelnut coffee enemas ought to be awesome!

One doc in particular, Dr. Robert Lambert, really got into the spirit of the thing:

That last question is particularly appropriate.

However, perhaps the most pertinent question of all that I’ve seen so far is this one:

@DrOz why not answer our favorites instead. — fredtrotter (@fredtrotter) November 12, 2014

He won’t, but it would be awesome if he did. There are so many to choose from that you’ll just have to check it out for yourself. It’s quite possible I missed some even funnier ones.

In any case, I don’t think the fun’s over yet. Let’s see if we can get the #OzsInBox hashtag to trend with your own questions for Dr. Oz. Do me a solid, too. Post them in the comments in addition to on Twitter.