If you're on the internet, which you are, by the way, you've probably got a profile on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, LiveJournal, Craigslist or all of the above, enjoying the company of hundreds of friends who you know will never ask to borrow your car. Unfortunately, people from your past are looking for you. People you had hoped would stay forgotten. And your internet listing has made it very easy for them to find you. They are... Advertisement

10 The Traveller Continue Reading Below Advertisement What They'll Say: Hi there! Long time no see! Just over here in Liverpool and killing time before the Premier League match - downing a few pints, you know? - and spotted you on the internet. I might have found you earlier, but there's no internet in South America (at least, not worth using ;) and the net cafes were too expensive in Japan. I'm moving around a fair bit at the moment, so here's a link to my travel blog so you can keep track of where I am. Be sure to take a look at the pics I took while trekking in Nepal. It's an amazing place. Have you been? How's it going? Drop us a line. What They'll Really Mean: Continue Reading Below Advertisement Look at how many countries I've been to. I'm better than you.

9 The Mother What They'll Say: Hey thar sweetie! Howz it going? Who'd you end up marrying? (pix pls :P) I know you and Rach didn't make it but we can't all marry our childhood sweethearts. I'd luv to here from u! Who's the kid you ask? This is Emily (Em). She's only 14 months old and turning into a bit of a princess. Go to my profile and you can see my other bubbies. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Tony's four now. Little guy wants to be a painter, like his dad. The other girl is Lisa. Popped out two weeks ago. A lil premature but she's healthy and that's all that matters. I love them all to death. Adorable, aren't they? How are you? What They'll Really Mean: Utilizing the natural ability to breed is my achievement. I'm better than you.

8 The Ex What They'll Say: Wow... how weird is this internet thing? I was just checking out the friends of all my old school friends and found you. Do you remember me? If not Ã¢ÂÂ hi there! Hope you're having a wonderful life with lots of fun and money. I ended up moving out of town. I finished college and am now doing well for myself (better than I thought, actually). That's my partner in my picture. We're about to go to Nepal (don't worry, I'll be posting pictures). What are you up to these days? It would be great to hear from you. Continue Reading Below Advertisement What They'll Really Mean: You rejected me but I recovered and became someone. I'm better than you.