The following message from the leader of the Galactic Confederacy and transmitted via a friendly Thetan…

It has come to my attention that some Teegeeackian scientists and philosophers have finally found it fit to correct their own oppressive message to more intelligent life.

“At a conference in Leeds this week, a group of British astronomers and philosophers who form the UK research network for SETI – the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence – agreed to enter a competition organised by the Breakthrough Initiative to devise a message to send out to space on behalf of the world to whoever might be listening.

” However, discussing the likely content of the message at the British Science Festival in Bradford on Thursday, the need to revise our previous portrayals of life on Earth was raised.

“Jill Stuart, an expert in space policy at the London School of Economics, pointed to the plaque that was placed on the Pioneer 10 spacecraft, launched in 1972. Intended to convey the origin of the craft and to impart information about the inhabitants of Earth, Stuart observed that to modern eyes the pictorial message presents some issues. .

“‘The plaque shows a man raising his hand in a very manly fashion while a woman stands behind him, appearing all meek and submissive,’ she said. ‘We really need to rethink that with any messages we are sending out now. Attitudes have changed so much in just 40 years.’

“The plaque also clearly portrays the human figures as white, and Stuart added: ‘I would be uncomfortable with sending out any images or messages that include Western-dominated material.'”

Such enlightenment is worthy of a renewed… erm, “first” contact. I would like to invite these enlightened scientist and philosophers to board my space planes (the ones like look like DC-8s) for a friendly chat at a pleasant resort spot near a lovely volcano. It’ll be a blast!