My election campaign is ongoing. Where I come from you vote every second of your life. My manifesto includes a commitment to eradicate all privilege and wealth, eradicate civilisation’ and create a society in which everyone can participate equally in consummate tango, grand-master chess matches, full-speed horse-races, dark operas of death, intoxicated ‘naked cluster’ paragliding, mind-bending maths chat, ultimate-ninja assault-running and advanced pâtisserie.

Yep, we’re talking about full-on, brakes-off Utopia Now.

Click the above image to download a high res printable poster.

Here is an outline of my election pledges…

Can you get to that?

The Apocalyparty does away with class and inequality by abolishing money, property and privilege, eliminates ill-health by eliminating the causes of ill-health (stress, work, atomisation, filth, high-speed tech-transport, petrochemical unstuff, nutritionless unfood, etc.) and eradicates so-called mental illness through the unusual practice of improving reality. We eliminate the need for lawyers by eliminating laws, the need for teachers by reintroducing the school into the actual world, the need for politicians and technocrats by doing away with democracy and all institutions and the need for x-factor by allowing genius and scenius to grow gaudi-like from the vibrating earth. The world will be not be built in service to the profane gods of ‘growth’ and ‘share dividends’, but, rather, to make girls wobbly with delight, to facilitate widespread use of the mashed-potato and to allow Japanese elkmen to roam freely though the forests of the bellymind.

Any swing voters might want to hang around until I clear up a few obvious objections to the above, or until life in the world becomes so unbearably shit everywhere that the hitherto extraordinary, ludicrous, bizarre and ‘unrealistic’ proposals seem reasonable, whichever comes first.

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Other posters in this series: