It’s not always the big cities and college towns that are getting ‘Texas drunk’ the most.

This article is an opinion based on facts and is meant as info-tainment. Don’t freak out.

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Is there anything wrong with being called the drunkest city in your state?

Especially in Texas, which drinks the 17th least amount of beer and spirits every year. So someone has to pick up the slack, right? And boy do these cities below.

How do you decide how much a place drinks? By the number of available places to buy booze, and by how often people are talking about drinking, that’s how.

Plus, we thought why not add in a stereotype? Studies have indicated that when one or both partners in a marriage are alcoholics, that couple is three times more likely to divorce.

So, hold our beers and watch this. After analyzing all cities with a decent amount of people in them, we came up with this list as The Drunkest Cities in Texas:


What drunken criteria did we use?

Number of bars and pubs per capita

Number of wineries per capita

Number of liquor stores per capita

Each city’s drunk related tweets within the last week

Each city’s divorce rate

For geo-located tweets, we measured the following raw number of tweets that came from within a city’s general area: #Drunk, #Party, #Beer, #Wine and #Cocktails

Note: For the sake of getting reliable numbers, we counted places within a city’s border, as well as within a short driving distance.

Note 2: Other notable city results: Houston 14th drunkest, San Antonio 17th drunkest.


1. Galveston

The gang at Galveston Island Brewing. From their Facebook page.

Population: 48,352

Divorce rate: 13.4%

Bars per capita: 1st in TX

Liquor stores per capita: 3rd

Oh, Galveston! We’re impressed. Based on the data and number of raw tweets coming from your location, per capita, it sounds like you are all having a really, really good time.

Actually, we’ve done these stories quite a few times and it’s not very often that one city was so much ahead of the others. It’s Galveston by a landslide

There are more bars per capita than anywhere else in the state. You can trip and fall into a bar every step of the way along Seawall Blvd. And we’re sure many of you guys do just that.

And the divorce rate here is a sign that a lot of people are probably burning the candle at both ends on many nights.

2. Grapevine

Chill, Grapevine, TX. Google Maps

Population: 46,756

Divorce rate: 13,8%

Bars per capita: 2nd in TX

Liquor stores per capita: 41st

Grapevine is right next to DFW and a short drive away from downtown Dallas. But we’re sure all of you guys know all of the back roads, right? (Wink, wink.)

Here, you have the 2nd most bars per capita and a fairly high divorce rate. The number of liquor stores per capita might not sound that impressive, but remember, we looked at more than 250 cities to create this list..

3. Austin

Mohawk, Austin, TX. Google Maps.

Population: 799,939

Divorce rate: 11%

Bars per capita: 4th

Liquor stores per capita: 12th

Wow, we’re impressed, Austin. You have the lowest divorce rate of all cities on this list. Much of that can be attributed to the fact that you’re a college town. So, right now, being drunk quite frequently is an endearing factor. It’ll get old after a while, trust us.

Austin also led the way with the number of drunk Tweets per capita. This was a keeper:

“You know it’s game day in Austin when you are getting drunk texts from your friends before it’s even 6 AM.”

4. Canyon Lake

Midnight Express, Canyon Lake, TX. Google Maps

Population: 20,564

Divorce rate: 12%

Bars per capita: 13th in TX

Liquor stores per capita: 30th

Canyon Lake is a fairly wealthy (and drunk) enclave just outside of San Antonio. There are lots of bars, liquor stores, pubs and wineries around the lake. They don’t build those where there aren’t customers, folks.

We’re actually a little jealous of you guys down there. Water sports, fishing, golfing, tubing…and none of those are complete without a cold one in your hand the entire time. But you guys know that already.

5. Harker Heights

All Bottoms Up!, Harker Heights, TX. Google Maps

Population: 26,579

Divorce rate: 13.2%

Bars per capita: 3rd in TX

Liquor stores per capita: 44th

Harker Heights is a smallish place (in Texas standards) that’s about 3 or 6 beers north of Austin, depending on how buzzed folks want to be when they meet up with friends. With bars like Wet Willy’s and All Bottoms Up, it sounds like the peeps who live here are having a good ole’ time just about sunup to sundown.

We’re not saying that there aren’t simply thousands of wasted people stumbling around in some of the bigger cities. But there are also hundreds of thousands of people in San Antonio, Houston and Dallas who are content with a night in, stressing out over their fantasy lineups on a Friday night.

How boring.

6. Conroe

The Corner Pub, Conroe, TX. Google Maps

Population: 57,380

Divorce rate: 12.5%

Bars per capita: 21st in TX

Liquor stores per capita: 13th

If you’re reading this from Conroe, odds are you’re pretty hungover. When you look that the number of distractions in the area, and factor in the divorce rate, it’s pretty clear that lots of Conroe residents are taking advantage of dollar fifty shot night quite regularly.

Judging by the high number of bars and lower number of liquor stores, perhaps ya’ll are social drinkers.

Conroe is just north of Houston right along the banks of Lake Conroe.

7. Kerrville

Ol’waterin Hole, Kerrville, TX. Google Maps

Population: 22,344

Divorce rate: 14.2%

Bars per capita: 21st in TX

Liquor stores per capita: 20th

No wonder so many people in Kerrville hit the bars. There’s nothing else to do there. It’s home to the Kerrville Folk Festival, the Official Texas State Arts & Crafts Fair and the Museum of Western Art.

Does those sound like things you’d want to do on a Friday night? Only if you’ve got a mixer in your hand.

Johnny Manziel hails from Kerrville as well. And we know all about how his partying tendencies got him a spot on the bench quite a few times.

8. Stafford

Wood’s Texas Roadhouse, Stafford, TX. From their Facebook page

Population: 17,565

Divorce rate: 10.3%

Bars per capita: 14th

Liquor stores per capita: 2nd

Judging by the number of liquor stores per capita in this Houston burb, it’s apparent that you guys like to hit the bottle quite often. But your divorce rate is really low. Why is that?

If Ryan Mallett was our quarterback, we’d probably have to suck down a few more beers on the weekends, too.

9. Dallas

The Gas Monkey, Dallas, TX. From their Facebook page

Population: 1,207,202

Divorce rate: 11.2%

Bars per capita: 11th in TX

Liquor stores per capita: 30th

Despite the sheer number of drunk related things to do in Dallas, the percentage of folks who live here haven’t hit the Big D as often as cities higher up on this list. Congrats, married couples in Dallas. You’re certainly an inspiration to us all.

Of course, there were tons of drunk Tweets coming from Dallas just about every hour, it seemed. And lots of people were talking about being drunk before, during and after Cowboys games.

And did you know there’s a place called Nick and Sams that sells $150 a glass champagne? Talk about a real buzz kill.

10. Denison

Loose Wheels, Denison, TX. Google Maps

Population: 22,655

Divorce rate: 17%

Liquor store per capita: 26th

Bars per capita: 30th

Holy Matrimony, Denison! The divorce rate here is through the roof. Perhaps the many drinking related distractions in the area are taking a toll on marriages.

If you’ve hit splitsville in Denison, buck up, cowboy and get back out there. Who knows, the next Mrs. You is probably out there, stirring her drink, waiting for you to come and talk to her.

Just don’t talk about your failed marriage. Such a turnoff.

There You Have It

If you’re measuring the locations in Texas where there are a high number of divorced people, bars and liquor stores, and where people are talking about drinking the most often, this is an accurate list.

And while you might think the larger cities and college towns are ‘more drunk’ than these places, when you measure the percentage of people who have access to alcohol, and who are separated, it makes sense. Cause, the data never lies, does it?

We also wrote about the most redneck cities in Texas in case you didn’t read it. Click here to see that story.

Desktop users: Here’s a complete chart with the top 100 drunkest cities in Texas, along with their divorce rates:

City Divorce Rate Rank galveston 13.42% 1 grapevine 13.82% 2 austin 11.05% 3 canyon lake 12.13% 4 harker heights 13.20% 5 conroe 12.49% 6 kerrville 14.23% 7 stafford 10.33% 8 dallas 11.26% 9 denison 17.21% 10 new braunfels 10.31% 11 san angelo 12.57% 12 spring 10.69% 13 houston 10.46% 14 amarillo 13.38% 15 gainesville 13.92% 16 san antonio 12.30% 17 round rock 11.37% 18 mineral wells 17.88% 19 cedar park 10.35% 20 weatherford 14.23% 21 abilene 12.23% 22 the colony 11.32% 23 waco 12.10% 24 orange 12.73% 25 paris 14.08% 26 seguin 12.89% 27 san marcos 6.48% 27 corpus christi 13.75% 29 universal city 11.33% 30 palestine 13.38% 31 beaumont 13.73% 32 odessa 12.76% 33 fort worth 12.03% 34 la porte 13.79% 35 marshall 12.42% 36 angleton 13.01% 37 victoria 14.48% 38 wichita falls 11.76% 39 texarkana 13.69% 40 lubbock 10.94% 41 brownwood 14.69% 42 bryan 9.34% 43 bedford 14.92% 44 alvin 14.21% 45 nacogdoches 9.72% 46 del rio 9.60% 47 plano 9.59% 48 lewisville 12.15% 49 Willow Grove 8.78% 50 sherman 15.00% 51 huntsville 11.84% 52 denton 8.69% 53 longview 11.63% 54 rosenberg 11.64% 55 el paso 11.13% 55 dickinson 10.27% 57 watauga 14.06% 58 Ephrata 9.26% 59 Moosic 7.17% 60 bay city 11.69% 61 leander 13.10% 62 Lock Haven 10.00% 63 West Mifflin 9.26% 64 lake jackson 10.55% 64 baytown 11.05% 66 corsicana 11.16% 67 richardson 9.37% 68 hurst 13.21% 69 pampa 11.67% 70 burleson 13.08% 71 sugar land 6.82% 72 georgetown 9.92% 73 temple 11.86% 74 nederland 14.51% 75 midland 10.44% 76 killeen 12.69% 77 Archbald 6.91% 78 belton 8.99% 79 big spring 14.28% 80 Darby 9.18% 81 rockwall 10.58% 82 greenville 12.94% 83 texas city 13.18% 84 tyler 12.12% 85 college station 4.34% 86 arlington 11.02% 86 Hollidaysburg 8.83% 88 Edinboro 5.16% 89 kingsville 10.69% 90 Folcroft 8.18% 91 stephenville 9.88% 92 Mountain Top 7.43% 93 friendswood 9.52% 94 converse 14.36% 95 Audubon 4.34% 96 euless 14.87% 97 Catasauqua 8.35% 98 Oreland 5.16% 99 colleyville 5.23% 100

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