Update: After many hours of patching and subsequent server outages, Blizzard’s claiming everything’s good to go. If, however, you kick open a rotten stump only to discover an outpouring of bugs instead of loot, you can take your complaints here.

Original article: Hey everyone, I just played Diablo III without a single hiccup! Ow, argh, oof, ugh, whyyyy. Oh, I get it: you’re all beating me because my experience is atypical, and instead of feeling happy for me and perhaps throwing some form of party, you’re booting my ribs from my body (henceforth known as “Error 37-ing”) out of rage at what you’ve encountered. Oh you guys. Fortunately, Blizzard claims a round of “emergency maintenance” should have things functioning far, far better than new.

The developer gave a status update on Diablo III’s official forums:

“We are in the process of performing an emergency maintenance for all Diablo III servers to resolve several issues that are currently impacting the game. This maintenance may cause some interruption in communication, ability to log in, use of in-game features, and disconnections.”

Other bugs that will hopefully be squashed under Blizzard’s slow-stirring boot include a full-on game-breaker that occurs when you trade equipped items with a Templar follower. This causes Diablo III to desync with Blizzard’s servers, summoning the wrath of Error 3006, which keeps players from playing the game even after attempting to log back in.

While 37 and 3006 are the two big ones, smaller errors abound as well. John, for instance, encountered lag and a couple instances of randomly getting kicked from the game entirely, which resulted in lost progress. Servers, of course, are flooded, but that’s less an excuse for this debacle and more an object lesson in why this “No separate single-player character option” decision was a truly silly and limiting idea to begin with.

This is pretty much inexcusable. Servers are down right now in the US while Blizzard applies its big fix, only adding to the time people can’t play the single-player mode in the game they own. I know: it’s a refrain that’s been sung (in some cases screamed) time and time again, but – given that this happened – the right people clearly haven’t gotten the message yet.