Back in November, I wrote about official websites that were shockingly terrible-looking. I made a promise in that column, a promise that, as long as there were websites in the 2000s that were loading their pages with shitty backgrounds and gifs like it was the '90s, I would be there. To make stupid jokes about them.

George Double-R Martin is the author of A Song of Ice and Fire, the insanely popular book series on which HBO's insanely popular Game of Thrones show is based. He's very rich, very successful, very beloved, and one of Time magazine's "most influential people in the world" (2011).

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He also invented time travel, because he clearly transported himself to 1998 so he could hire me at 13 years old to design his website, using only the lessons learned from GeoCities and a rudimentary understanding of how color palettes work.

GeorgeRRMartin.com

"Three different kinds of purple is a palette, right?"

It's not just a bad-looking website; it's also got the kind of quirky little bits and pieces of annoying design crap that flourished in the silly '90s. If you drag your cursor over any of the link-badges that line the top of the page, the badge spins and spins!