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Oh, hello, it's Dave. I've often prompted you to 'stay a while and listen', and this time it's perfect because it's time to talk Diablo.



Diablo rules over the Realm of Terror down in the Burning Hells, while his two brothers, Mephisto and Baal, rule over the realms of Hatred and Destruction like some sort of evil Mario brothers of death. Diablo also fathered a daughter, but if you haven't played Diablo 3, we'll leave you to figure out that WTF moment on your own. Thanks scriptwriter I just spoilersed myself. No not spoiled myself. Spoilered myself my pants are fine go away.



Diablo didn't get to enjoy much of a demonic childhood, and that's the first time those words have been put together, as he was actually one of the seven heads of the prime evil dragon Tathamet. Tathamet's death was one of the causes for the universe coming into being, its body becoming the fiery pits of Hell, and as we said, one of its heads become Senor Diablo. Which is Mexican for 'Mister asshole'. I'll just pause while you fact check it cos it's true. Good? Let's move on.



The young Diablo obviously didn't get on well with others if parent teacher reports are anything to go by. An order of mages called the Horadrim was banded together by the archangel Tyrael to seek out and imprison the big demon and his horned brothers. Diablo was captured and stuck inside a soulstone, then buried underneath Tristram Cathedral in Khanduras. He remained there for 180 years until the archbishop Lazarus shattered the soulstone, releasing Diablo back into the world. No, you never break 180 year old demon containment jewels. They teach you that day one of Tristram mystical arts college. What was he sick on the don't realease diablos into the village day? Arch bishop more like arch demon letting out guy amirite



No, I didn't want the toilet paper. I told you four times, you're making me look like a diva.



Over the course of the first two games, Diablo would take various human hosts and traverse the land fighting the Archangel Tyrael, freeing his brothers, eventually popping down to Hell to rally all the forces of evil where he is caught out and defeated-his soulstone being shattered at the Hellforge.



It was in Diablo 3, the third Diablo game, that various characters would conspire to resurrect the big red dude, which led to him being reborn with all the Lords of Hell within him, allowing Diablo to become The Prime Evil, like Tathamet before him. Pretty nasty business. He immediately set off to assault Heaven itself, leading to a big battle on the Crystal Arch.



Of course, as always, good once again prevails over Evil and Diablo is beaten, his physical form disintegrating as it descends from angel-town then everyone gets to go for a holiday in Whimsyshire HORRAYYYYY. But seriously does Diablo ever stay dead. Flipping no. So you can expect Blizzard Diablo 4 probably to drop in the next four years like a Wirts leg dropping from the defeated body of Bishibosh. Yes, there is an enemy called Bishibosh. And if you've ever used the semi legendary item 'Wirt's leg' you will find it to be every bit as useful as one would imagine a partially digested child's wooden leg to be.



OW. Actually that is quite effective. Can I have my helmet of +4 to prosthetic defence. NO.



