I hate having to spend my whole day picking on poor Joe Biden… scratch that. I’ve strongly disliked Biden since his first presidential run in 1987-88. Even at the tender age of 18, I could spot Biden’s dull-witted smarm and untroubled sense of entitlement, and they made my teeth itch. So it’s with a long-lived and well-earned sense of schadenfreude that I come here today to tell you of how the floundering Biden campaign has floundered once more.

Earlier today I reported to you that it took Biden’s team — campaign pros, presumably young and hip enough to work one of those fancy touch phones — required four days to set up his ill-fated fake press conference. You know, Biden’s attempt to outshine President Donald Trump with daily “shadow president” briefings. The first one was so bad, despite all that prep, that Team Biden seems to have given up on the whole shadow presidency thing.

I can’t say I blame them, either. That presser was an even lamer version of the State of the Union “Rebuttal” the out-of-power party feels necessary to hold in the wee hours after POTUS has addressed Congress and the nation. Whichever party any particular POTUS belongs to, the office comes with a supernova-equivalent of star power, and that power shines perhaps never so bright as it does during the State of the Union. There’s the impressive House floor and visitor seating, full to the brim with elected officials, high-ranking appointees, Supreme Court justices, and even surprise guest stars. The media attention is as lavish as the setting, and POTUS, like Batman, owns the night.

Afterward, a B-lister or two from the opposing party read some lame stuff off a prompter in a small quiet room with the hope that someone, somewhere might be watching. It’s a little sad, really — and considering how Trump has shined during his daily Wuhan virus pressers, it’s a lot sad when Slow Joe Biden tries to do the same kind of thing.

What’s even sadder is that Biden shifted gears after last week’s Big Fail, and ended up with an even bigger fail on Wednesday night.

Alright @TeamJoe, join us for Happy Hour. Watch our virtual round table on the issues that matter to young folks: https://t.co/pFhYghw5dt — Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) March 25, 2020

I don’t know who came up with the notion of having an unhip, declining senior citizen hold a “virtual happy hour” to attract younger voters, but the execution may have been even worse than the ideation. Emily Zanotti reports for Daily Wire today that Biden’s “effort didn’t work, drawing just 2,800 simultaneous viewers on Wednesday night.”

Folks, I’m one of those bloggers in his pajamas. I don’t have 50 years of name recognition, a friendly media, or a multimillion-dollar web presence. And yet my election night and debate drunkblogs can get nearly as many simultaneous viewers as Team Biden managed to scrounge up for the presumptive Democratic candidate for president of the United States.

Sad!

Twitter viewers seemed to agree:

For God's sake…don't give him anything to drink!

He's nearly incomprehensible now. pic.twitter.com/JetM5qxDiF — Boxer Dad (@Augieboy) March 25, 2020

After Biden turned his campaign around — or to be more precise, had his campaign turned around for him by the DNC — I’d given up hope on writing his political obituary before the evening of November 3, 2020.

But watching his campaign flail helplessly while Trump keeps hitting record highs and the DNC might be turning against him…

…maybe we won’t have to wait until November after all.