When going to a bar there comes that moment when you run into a bouncer.

Whether it’s standing in line waiting to get into the bar for some fun and games, or whether you’ve had a few drinks and have drawn some unwanted attention to yourself (never your fault, of course!) there will come a time when you have to converse with a bouncer.

What to say? How to act?

You can check out a couple of options here:

OK, so we aren’t going to tell you what to say, but we can offer suggestions on things that you probably don’t want to let escape your lips!

1. “You don’t look so tough”. While this may be true, it is sure to draw the bouncer’s ire. Also, keep in mind that you should never judge a book by its cover!

2. “Back off, I know martial arts”. I would stay away from making this statement. Most people that claim to know some form of martial arts actually don’t. In addition, there is a reason that the person in front of you is a bouncer. Besides being overly large he might actually know martial arts himself.

3. “Don’t you know who I am?” Unless you’re a rock star or movie star there is a really good chance that the bouncer doesn’t know who you are. Even if you are some sort of celebrity, if the bouncer hasn’t recognized you by this point then prompting him to do so probably won’t help.

4. “I’sh not drunk t’all, can walk any line. Lemme prove it to youshelf”. If your social imbibing is resulting in slurring of speech, I would suggest saying as little as possible. And remember, enunciation is your friend!

5. “Here’s $5, go away”. While bribing the bouncer has an outside chance of working, more than likely the amount of money you offer him isn’t worth the bouncer losing his job. It also puts him in between a rock and a hard place, where his only alternative is to throw you out of the club.

6. “$%&^%##”. Swearing at the bouncer will result in an immediate, negative experience. Up until this point the bouncer is just doing his job. After being cussed out there is a good chance the bouncer is going to take things personally, which bodes poorly for your chances of staying healthy.

7. “I have some really big friends.” While this may be true, they probably aren’t with you at the moment you utter this ominous statement. Also, there is a good chance the bouncer also has some big friends, who just might be bouncers in the same bar and within calling distance.

8. “This is the best job you can get?” Questioning the bouncer’s career choices will only result in his agitation. Besides, it could be a part time job while he is completing his master’s studies in some prestigious field.

9. “I’m going to be sick”. If you’ve had a few too many and your stomach is upset then letting the bouncer know this won’t help your situation. Besides, it is probably time to call a cab and go home anyways.

10. “I’ll be back”. If you are being shown the door than letting the bouncer know you want to return and visit their fine establishment could be construed the wrong way. Be polite, listen to the bouncer and the chances are everything will be fine if you do decide to return for another night out on the town!

GD Star Rating

loading...

GD Star Rating

loading...

, 6.8 out of 10 based on 6 ratings

See More Blogs From BarWhiz:

5 Types of guys you’ll see picking up women at a bar

Guys love bars for one reason: women. In any bar you will invariably see five types of guys on the prowl for female, ahem, "companionship." Here they are so you're sure to spot them next time you go out Guys love bars for one reason: women. In any bar you will invariably see five types of guys on the prowl for female, ahem, "companionship." Here they are so you're sure to spot them next time you go out

Best Bars In Chicago

Last June I was fortunate enough to spend 4 nights and three days in the Windy City. It was a good friend's bachelor party and he always wanted to rip it up in Chicago Last June I was fortunate enough to spend 4 nights and three days in the Windy City. It was a good friend's bachelor party and he always wanted to rip it up in Chicago

The Best Games to Play in a Bar

There are many different types of games that bar patrons like to indulge in. we've set up a list of the best bar games you can enjoy on a night out There are many different types of games that bar patrons like to indulge in. we've set up a list of the best bar games you can enjoy on a night out

How To Make A Killing As A Bar Server

An 18-step guide that will help shed a little light on how you can make a killing as a bartender or waiter. There is more than just a pretty smile to profiting as a server. An 18-step guide that will help shed a little light on how you can make a killing as a bartender or waiter. There is more than just a pretty smile to profiting as a server.