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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Breaking – Pelosi scolds Democrats over public fighting | Differences between progressives, Dem leaders spill into open | Acosta to hold press conference to defend himself | GOP support for Labor secretary gets shaky | British ambassador resigns amid Trump feud | Biden to ramp up campaign appearances | Court tosses emoluments lawsuit against Trump | Anxiety grows over debt limit | US women's soccer team gets ticker tape parade | Crowd chants for 'equal pay' | Burger King selling tacos

NEWS THIS MORNING

Donald Trump must be dead chuffed:

British Ambassador to the U.S. Kim Darroch resigned this morning after a public spat with President Trump Donald John TrumpSteele Dossier sub-source was subject of FBI counterintelligence probe Pelosi slams Trump executive order on pre-existing conditions: It 'isn't worth the paper it's signed on' Trump 'no longer angry' at Romney because of Supreme Court stance MORE. http://bit.ly/2NJG8Dn

From Darroch's resignation letter: "The current situation is making it impossible for me to carry out my role as I would like. Although my posting is not due to end until the end of this year, I believe in the current circumstances the responsible course is to allow the appointment of a new ambassador."

Read his resignation letter: http://bit.ly/2NJF4iR

Brief back story: Darroch privately described the Trump administration as "clumsy and inept," but those documents were leaked. Trump then called Darroch "a very stupid guy" among other insults. http://bit.ly/2YIBNl5

It's Wednesday. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

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HAPPENING THIS MORNING

USA! USA! USA!

The U.S. women's national soccer team celebrated its World Cup win in New York City this morning with a ticker tape parade.

Livestream of the parade: http://bit.ly/32it4br

NEWS RIGHT BEFORE THE PARADE:

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) signed legislation to ensure equal pay for men and women. https://7ny.tv/2NMPAG7

SIGHTS AND SOUNDS:

That's a lot of confetti: According to CBS News, 2,000 lbs. of paper was used in the parade. http://bit.ly/2NMHP37

Team members chanted "Equal pay! Equal pay!": Watch: http://bit.ly/2NJTf7z

Ooo, la la: Former President Obama tweeted a photo this morning showing off his custom jersey. Photo: http://bit.ly/2NKQe7f

Watch Megan Rapinoe with a bottle of champagne: http://bit.ly/2NMLPk9

Spotted in the parade: Trump 2020 campaign flags. Video: http://bit.ly/2NLk4sa

THE TEAM WILL VISIT THE SENATE:

The U.S. women's national soccer team this week accepted Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer Chuck SchumerPelosi slams Trump executive order on pre-existing conditions: It 'isn't worth the paper it's signed on' 3 reasons why Biden is misreading the politics of court packing Cruz blocks amended resolution honoring Ginsburg over language about her dying wish MORE's (D-N.Y.) invitation to visit the Senate. http://bit.ly/2NJSZFD

LATEST WITH THE JEFFREY EPSTEIN CONTROVERSY

Alex Acosta Alex Alexander AcostaFederal litigator files complaint alleging Labor secretary abused his authority Appeals court to review legality of Epstein plea deal Appeals court finds prosecutors' secret plea agreement with Epstein didn't break law MORE should probably hold off on printing more business cards, that's all I'm saying:

Via The Hill's Alexander Bolton and Brett Samuels, Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta Alex Alexander AcostaFederal litigator files complaint alleging Labor secretary abused his authority Appeals court to review legality of Epstein plea deal Appeals court finds prosecutors' secret plea agreement with Epstein didn't break law MORE's job security took a hit after Republican senators slammed his involvement in a 2008 plea deal with billionaire Jeffrey Epstein. http://bit.ly/2NMyPLn

What GOP senators expect to happen: Republicans predict that Acosta will resign over what appears to be a "sweetheart deal" for Epstein.

From a GOP senator: "It's up to the president, but he'll probably have to resign just so the Democrats stop hammering."

JUST ANNOUNCED -- HAPPENING AT 2:30 P.M. EDT:

Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta is holding a press conference to defend his handling of the Jeffrey Epstein case. http://bit.ly/2NIon7x

Tidbit from a Trump confidant:

Newsmax CEO Chris Ruddy, who is a longtime confidant of President Trump, thinks Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta will be pushed out of his Cabinet position soon. http://bit.ly/2NIjwDb

Ruddy told CNN's Don Lemon Don Carlton LemonCNN's Don Lemon: 'Blow up the entire system' remark taken out of context CNN's Lemon: 'We're going to have to blow up the entire system' if Democrats win back White House, Senate Scaramucci to Lemon: Trump 'doubling down' on downplaying virus 'should scare' viewers MORE: "My experience with Donald Trump is if he sees somebody is a bad apple ... he will stay as far away from that person is possible. I think the plea agreement he did is indefensible."

On whether Acosta will be gone within weeks: "I think in a relatively quick period, he will be gone," Ruddy responded.

Watch Ruddy's interview on CNN: http://bit.ly/2NL9G3K

Op-ed: http://bit.ly/32iuOBp

IN THE WHITE HOUSE

This a.m. -- Major court win for Trump:

Via The Hill's Jacqueline Thomsen, "The 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals on Wednesday dismissed a lawsuit filed by Maryland and the District of Columbia alleging that President Trump is violating the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution, finding that they did not have the standing to sue the president." http://bit.ly/2NLrdZC

IN CONGRESS

Please ignore the grumbling in the back of the room:

Via The Hill's Rebecca Kheel and Scott Wong, Democratic leadership is optimistic about a defense policy bill despite opposition from progressives. http://bit.ly/32iEmfJ

Why members of the Progressive Caucus are on the fence: Progressives are not thrilled about the $733 billion price tag of the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA). And the bill has xxbecome a vehicle allowing tensions about immigration and how Democratic leaders are handling border aid to spill out into public. http://bit.ly/32luUbk

THIS MORNING DURING A CLOSED-DOOR DEMOCRATIC MEETING:

Via Politico's Heather Caygle and Sarah Ferris, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi Nancy PelosiPelosi slams Trump executive order on pre-existing conditions: It 'isn't worth the paper it's signed on' On The Money: Anxious Democrats push for vote on COVID-19 aid | Pelosi, Mnuchin ready to restart talks | Weekly jobless claims increase | Senate treads close to shutdown deadline Trump signs largely symbolic pre-existing conditions order amid lawsuit MORE (D-Calif.) scolded progressives this morning for publicly blasting their colleagues. "If you have a complaint about our members, come talk to me about it, don't tweet about it," Pelosi told Democrats. https://politi.co/2NLowqE

INTERESTING READ -- HOW AOC'S FEUD WITH NANCY PELOSI COULD THREATEN THE PARTY IN 2020:

Via the Associated Press's Lisa Mascaro: http://bit.ly/32jMmgs

HOW PROGRESSIVES FACE STEEP ODDS OF OUSTING INCUMBENT DEMOCRATS:

http://bit.ly/2NMRiY3

Lawmakers may have the pleasure of raising the debt ceiling sooner:

Via The Hill's Jordain Carney, "Senators are growing anxious that they might have to vote to raise the nation's debt ceiling in a matter of weeks given new estimates that the government could hit its borrowing limit earlier than expected." http://bit.ly/2NLyGYC

Why the expedited timing could cause headaches on Capitol Hill: "Lawmakers had hoped they would be able to avoid the politically painful vote to raise the debt ceiling until the fall -- and that it could be packaged with other legislation to fund the government and set budget caps on spending."

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

Get ready to see a lot more Joe:

Via The Hill's Amie Parnes, "Former Vice President Joe Biden Joe BidenPelosi slams Trump executive order on pre-existing conditions: It 'isn't worth the paper it's signed on' Hillicon Valley: Subpoenas for Facebook, Google and Twitter on the cards | Wray rebuffs mail-in voting conspiracies | Reps. raise mass surveillance concerns Fox News poll: Biden ahead of Trump in Nevada, Pennsylvania and Ohio MORE will take on a more aggressive schedule in the coming weeks, adding more town halls to his schedule on the heels of criticism that he wasn't campaigning as much as his competitors, say aides and allies close to the campaign." http://bit.ly/2NLcNIE

Oh and: Biden's campaign is expected to unveil policy platforms in the next few days.

NOTABLE TWEETS

Trending -- no, I just have something in my eye!:

A journalist went to cover a story about a shelter for abandoned dogs. This good boy clung to the writer upon leaving. Dude adopted him and took him home.



Dogs, bruh... pic.twitter.com/05JjQzL2vZ — Rex Chapman (@RexChapman) July 8, 2019

Oh man, this is awkward:

Rep. Joyce Beatty Joyce Birdson BeattySharpton, police reform take center stage at National Mall Sanders raised over 0,000 for candidates in Tuesday primaries The Hill's Campaign Report: Progressives raise expectations ahead of big primary night MORE (D-Ohio) tweeted a PSA against vaping.

Hey teens! Vaping isn’t fleek or fire , that’s why the State of Ohio launched #MyLifeMyQuit to show you that you don’t need fat clouds ☁️☁️☁️ to be radical! https://t.co/Jui9ezzLmZ — Joyce Beatty (@RepBeatty) July 9, 2019

ON TAP

The House and Senate are in. President Trump is in Washington, D.C. Vice President Pence is in California today.

11 a.m. EDT: The Senate voted on several nominations. The Senate's full schedule today: http://bit.ly/32ilDkr

3:30 -- 4:30 p.m. EDT: First and last votes in the House. The House's full schedule today: http://bit.ly/32fw74h

4:15 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence speaks at a Trump campaign event in Coalinga, Calif.

7:35 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence arrives at Vandenberg Air Force Base in California.

8:10 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence and Karen Pence Karen Sue PenceTrump met with chants of protest as he pays respects to Ruth Bader Ginsburg How fast population growth made Arizona a swing state The Hill's 12:30 Report - Presented by Facebook - Biden, Pence elbow bump at NYC Sept. 11 ceremony MORE participate in a Combined Space Operations Center mission briefing.

11:05 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence and Karen Pence arrive in San Diego.

July 15–6: Amazon Prime Day. Here's a list of deals: https://cnet.co/2NM6Efr

July 17: Special counsel Robert Mueller Robert (Bob) MuellerCNN's Toobin warns McCabe is in 'perilous condition' with emboldened Trump CNN anchor rips Trump over Stone while evoking Clinton-Lynch tarmac meeting The Hill's 12:30 Report: New Hampshire fallout MORE will testify before the House Judiciary and Intelligence committees. http://bit.ly/2Llw8gS

WHAT TO WATCH

9:30 a.m. EDT: The U.S. women's national soccer team celebrated its World Cup win with a New York ticker tape parade. Livestream: http://bit.ly/32it4br

11:10 a.m. EDT: President Trump gave a speech and signed an executive order on "Advancing American Kidney Health." Livestream: http://bit.ly/32kqfGE

5:20 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence gives remarks about trade in Coalinga, Calif. Livestream: http://bit.ly/32lcyaq

8:35 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence and Karen Pence give remarks at Vandenberg Air Force Base personnel. Livestream: http://bit.ly/32irA0Y

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Piña Colada Day.

This is beautiful, though you may need insulin after consumption:

Starbucks is offering a Tie-Dye Frappuccino for a few days. Photo: https://r29.co/32gdz3G

Um, but...:

Burger King is now selling $1 tacos. https://cnn.it/32k4Pd1

And because you made it this far, here's a baby with a better handshake than most: http://bit.ly/2NLlRxo