“This is historic. It’s the first time anyone has ever used the phrase ‘Trump knew exactly what was going on.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“The only way this could be more damning for Trump is if there was some kind of phone transcript of him demanding an investigation of — oh.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Now the White House has responded to this interview saying that Parnas is a liar. They say he’s only saying this because he’s been indicted for campaign finance fraud and so now he’s trying to get a lighter sentence, like a Ukrainian Tekashi69.” — TREVOR NOAH

“But here’s the thing: he brought the receipts. Tuesday, House Democrats released a huge cache of incriminating documents provided by Parnas, and then they released another one yesterday — handwritten notes, text messages, voicemails, pictures, calendars. He even has a scrapbook: ‘Our Ukraine-zy summer vacay — getting colludey with the Prez and Rudy!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“You know the game is real when someone is threatening to open their camera roll. You know when a friend does that? It’s like ‘Oh, you want me to AirDrop these to you? ‘Cause I’ll AirDrop them to everyone. We both know what happened at that Sandals resort.’” — TREVOR NOAH