The Steubenville rape case is getting a mountain of attention, as it should, and people are passionately arguing their points. Boys need to be taught not to rape, on one side. They’re monsters, etc. etc. And on the other side are people putting blame onto the victim, in a variety of ways, which is despicable behaviour. There is really no other way of saying it. The threats that the victim has received from other girls at her High School is disgusting and I find it shocking how anyone, never mind other girls who could have been the victims at the party, could be threatening and blaming the victim.

Now, before I move on. I want to say that what happened to the girl in Steubenville is horrific and unfortunate, something that I would not wish upon anyone, and would not say was deserved under any circumstances.

However, I get offended when anyone utters the phrase “we need to teach men not to rape” as it presupposes that all men are capable rapists, simply lying in wait until the get the opportunity. And any man that manages to abstain from rape during his life merely did so because he never had the opportunity. When we hear the testimony from the rapists in the Steubenville case they seem to be ignorant to what constitutes rape. Now there is no reason for us not to believe them when they said they “didn’t see it as rape”. They thought they were taking advantage of a situation, which is despicable in itself, but they (we should assume) legitimately believed they were not committing rape. This falls into a failure on the part of the sexual education in the Untied States, both on the part of the boards of education and the parents. Though I’m willing to bet a lot of parents and PTA members had much larger role than teachers in limiting the scope of sexual education. Rape is not the violent act that the rapists in this case may have believed it to be. Rape is simply sex that is void of consent (ie. a woman forcibly raped, or raped while in an unconscious state). I’m sure people could come up with other scenarios that are also rape, but that’s not what this post is about.

What I would like to talk about is under-aged girls getting black-out drunk at a party. No, I’m not going to say the victim deserved what happened, remember my introduction. I am simply going to argue in favor of education. If we are going to educate children on the definition of rape so no one can ever plead ignorance of the act ever again, we should also educate young adults and children (not just girls) on the risks of getting black out drunk. Beyond saying: don’t do it, alcohol abuse is bad, blah blah blah. That works just as well as teaching abstinence from sex and not to smoke pot. Kids aren’t stupid (for the most part), and those “teenage rebels” aren’t rebelling for the sake of rebelling. They’re doing so because they think your reasons for not doing action “x” are fucking stupid. “Don’t do it.” “Why?” “Because!” Well that doesn’t fucking cut it.

“You might get raped” is not something that I would encourage as a teaching method, but the fact remains that if you remove your ability to function in a situation, you leave yourself vulnerable to victimization. It is not right, it is not defendable, but is a reality. And anyone who is naive enough to believe that we can teach away all of the evils in society, you’re in for a long and furstrating life on this planet. There is no guarantee that a drunk, impulsive, asshole, even with the education that violating someone who is asleep is rape, will not just go ahead and do it because – wait for it – that individual is a fucking asshole.

Bottom line is education. Teach about the risks, but tangible, real and visible risks. Not simply, if you drink too much, it’s bad for your health and you might become addicted and you might have a shitty life. Because every kid will say a) might? Well it won’t happen to me. And b) I’m 15 years old, why do I need to worry about my health? These long-term and hypothetical reasons for not doing something are not going to convince the average teenager.

However, if you teach them that they leave themselves open to attack, they might start listening. And most of all, everyone: parents, friends, members of the media. If a young boy or girl happens to not follow your advice, as they will still tend to do, and the unthinkable happens to them. Embrace them anyway with all your love and support, because although they made a mistake that allowed something horrible to happen, they still never deserved it to happen in the first place.