Remember 2011? We killed Osama and Steve Jobs, and Bridesmaids made us all fall in love with diarrhea jokes again. But it was also a time of rationality. Occupy Wall Street made the 99 percent think they could make a difference. People were ready for a change, and the world seemed wide open.

In 2016, shit went right off the rails, and we all know it. 50 percent of all famous people died, we elected Donald "Tweet Goblin" Trump, England decided to become its own planet or something, and Russia just can't stop being evil. Small wonder that the shit we consider normal today would have been bat-diarrhea-insane just five years ago. Check out these ridiculous, real headlines from the past year, and imagine telling them to your 2011 self. Now imagine the sting in your cheeks as 2011-you smacks now-you not just for lying, but for lying unconvincingly.

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Donald Trump Costs NYC Millions By Refusing To Move Into The White House

CNN

The Story: Newly elected President Trump has decided he prefers his apartment in New York to that ramshackle shanty in Washington that's already had over 40 previous owners. His need to stay home, as well as all of his kids and grandkids, means that millions will be spent on security to make sure we don't lose him in traffic on the way to some kind of war room meeting, financial summit, or secret rendezvous with Kanye.

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2011's Reaction: Firstly, if you said "President Trump" to anyone back in 2011, they would have both laughed in your face for being stupid and spit in your eye for being stupider. Obviously Donald Trump would never be elected president of the United States. He wouldn't be elected trustee of the local school board.

To be fair, if you'd said "President Trump" in, say, October of 2016, you would have gotten the same reaction. But the bigger issue here is the million-dollar babysitting gig New York just got trying to watch Trump, his kids, and all his assorted hairpieces. Why the hell would a millionaire president and his adult children need to stay in their solid gold hotel, anyway? The White House has secret JFK sex tunnels and the bedroom Lincoln made his hat in or something.