Rather than write an extended post on male modesty, I’ve heavily condensed my thoughts into twelve theses. If we’re being honest: it’s probably one of the best ways to ensure that men will read it.

The Greek word for lust simply means powerful desire. It cannot, therefore, be reduced to only include sexual desire. Men and women are fully capable of having powerful or inordinate desires for all the same things. The difference between men and women is not in what the they can be tempted by, but rather what the are most prone to be tempted by. Although more men than women struggle with sexual lust, most men have several female friends who secretly struggle with sexual lust. Immodesty is a matter of the heart. It is the act of dressing or behaving with the intent of turning heads. If a man puts on a shirt (or takes off a shirt) because he wants people to look at him with mouths agape, he is dressing immodestly. This is true regardless of whether or not he’s caused anyone to stumble. Romantic or emotional lust is an inordinate desire for romantic or emotional fulfillment from a given person. Inordinate will mean different things for people who are single, dating, and married. Emotional and romantic lust is the most common kind of lust that women struggle with. This is most clearly evidenced by the romance novel industry. Leading women on through flirting, “friendly” touching, excessive affirmation, continuous texting, and other means can be just as big a problem for women as a low cut blouse can be for men—but in quite a different way. Men are often aware of the effect their behavior has on women. They often continue to behave this way to satisfy their own emotional lust through causing women to lust after them. Immodesty, then, often includes behaviors that are intended to cause women to feel all aflutter. This is not to condemn all use of what might be considered flirting. It is appropriate for a single man to pick one woman, use a moderate amount of reasonably flirtatious behavior to communicate interest, and if his feelings are reciprocated, ask her to coffee. It is not appropriate to be doing this with multiple women at once, or to do this with no intention of pursuit. Men are prone to devise clever excuses in this area, so it is appropriate and helpful for a man to ask other godly men if his clothing or behavior is immodest and to take these critiques seriously. A good place to start would be a point-by-point discussion of this blog post.

If you’d like to read more on the subject of modesty, I’ve written two other posts, which you may also find helpful.