One of the fears I believe a lot of people have as they approach sobriety is the fear of being ostracized or left out. They fear that without alcohol they will be kicked out of the club. No longer will they be part of the cool kids and won’t be invited to all the cool events. I know my fear was that I would no longer fit in as a salesman. In fact, I delayed my journey to sobriety because I worried that I was not going to be able to do my job if I didn’t drink. Over 100 days have passed since I became alcohol free and not once had I been hindered or lost a sale because of alcohol. People never questioned when I ordered a Sprite while everyone else ordered beers. That is, until this weekend.

I was in Orlando at a trade show that started last Thursday and ended on Sunday. The trade show went well and was well attended. There was a lot of drinking and socializing during the evening. I found a way to either participate without drinking or skip the events. During the trade show hours, I was front, center and clear headed as I helped show the customers the features and benefits of our product over the competition. Everything went well through the end of the show and on Sunday we broke down the booth by noon. We had the rest of the day to ourselves as we were all flying out in the morning.

I texted my colleague after a little R&R to see what he had planned for dinner. He said that he was down at the pool bar and to come join him. I made my way out to the pool bar and found both of my colleagues engaged in conversation with a customer from another territory whom I recognized. I sat down and reintroduced myself to the customer who was cordial as they continued their conversations. The dead soldiers of a few cocktails littered the table and it was apparent that these boys were already getting tuned up. It was a nice Florida evening and I just leaned back and listened as they bantered about people they knew and experiences they shared.

The cocktail server came and asked if I wanted a drink.

“Coke” I said

“Just Coke?” Replied the waiter.

“Yes, please. Just Coke.” I replied.

Out of the blue the customer boomed, “you’re at the wrong table if you aren’t going to drink!”

“Well, I don’t drink.” I replied as I could feel my face get flush with embarrassment and anger.

“Don’t drink? You gotta pay your dues to sit at this table” the customer chortled.

“Well I’ve paid my dues and more. Trust me when I tell you there is a reason why I don’t drink” I replied curtly.

Just before the customer answered my colleague spoke up. “This man’s paid his due. He’s done drank with the best of us. If he wants a Coke, let him have a Coke.”

“I’ll go get that Coke sir” the waiter said as he looked for an excuse to remove himself from the awkward exchange.

My colleague changed the subject and the conversation started back off in another direction. I sat silently and thought to myself that this is exactly what I thought it was going to be like when I quit drinking. People were going to show disdain at my choice to remain alcohol free. However, the more I thought about it, the happier I was for it to have finally happened.

I was happy this event happened for three reasons. First, The fact that it had happened only once in almost 3 and half months meant that this exchange was the exception and not the rule. My great fear that no one would like me was untrue. In fact, most people could care less whether I drank booze, Coke or dog piss. It just didn’t matter to them and it sure as hell shouldn’t matter to me.

Second, I was aware of what I learned from Annie Grace’s Book, “This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol.” Specifically, this customer’s reaction to my sobriety may be more about him then me. He wants me to drink so he can mask the severity of his problem. Not only was the customer grossly overweight, he was also known as a heavy drinker. I knew for a fact that he had many nights out that may signal a greater problem with alcohol. My sober presence made him nervous and he reacted like a bully. If he was the face of alcohol, I would choose sobriety hands down every time.

Finally, I knew that my colleagues had my back. They accepted me for who I was even if they continued to drink. They knew that I could choose to live my life the way I wanted. As long as I didn’t preach to them about their choices, they would have my back. It was a good feeling to know that the people I spent the most time with at work didn’t care whether I was drunk or sober. They just wanted me around.

So there you have it. Hurdle jumped. I’m still sober and I’m getting stronger by the day. I’m at the right table now.