Iain Duncan Smith resigns over restrictions on how many disabled people he can abuse

Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith has resigned after the government reneged on a promise to let him abuse as many disabled people as he wanted.

With government officials under pressure to revisit cuts to disability benefits, Duncan Smith told cabinet colleagues that this is the only reason he took the job in the first place.

A Whitehall source told us, “Iain was almost in tears, it seems he’s spent years waiting to really kick the disabled when they were down, and now, at the eleventh hour, that dream is being cruelly ripped from him.

“It’s made his position untenable, frankly – and he certainly let the cabinet know how he felt about it.

“They were keen to keep him, and he was even offered the chance to cut the benefits of some of the unemployed, or even young people and the immigrants, but he just said ‘it’s not the same’.

“He really gets a kick out of abusing the disabled, so if he can’t pick on people who can’t physically defend themselves, then he’s just not interested.

“To be honest, he’ll probably leave government altogether now, and get a job euthanising unwanted puppies.”