Analyzing Michael Myers Road Trip in Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

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This video is totally false proof that Michael Myers knows how to drive.

The only thing that can stop an unstoppable force is a red traffic light. For over 40 years, Michael Myers and his driving skills have been scrutinized and mocked. How did a “shape” who lived in a mental institution learn how to operate a vehicle? Michael’s driving in Halloween, Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers and Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers has never bothered me because the driving was erratic and jerky. The driving that bothers me is in Halloween H20: 20 Year Later because he made a 1,994 mile trip successfully — with zero citations or tickets. In the film Michael drives from Langdon, Illinois to Hillcrest Academy in Northern California in a daring feat that raises a lot of questions.

Does he wear the mask when driving or siphoning gas? Did he listen to the radio? How does he deal with merging onto highways? Is he cool about it? Does he dislike people who drive slow in the fast lane? Does he not know how to fix a flat fire?

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I remember loving the film as an impressionable 15-year old punk. The movie had thrills, Dawson’s Creek-esque dialogue and Jamie Lee Curtis going on the offensive. However, I’ve never liked that a mysterious shape could drive cross-country. Michael Myers works best as a mysterious murderer who doesn’t have parent issues and could care less about following traffic rules (or laundry). He had to navigate a lot of terrain on his journey which means he had to follow the rules and not murder people who cut him off. The trip took him an estimated 43.5 hours. Here is the timeline (with some guesswork and actual times from the movie):

October 29 – 5:30PM – Leaves Langdon in a stolen 1971 Buick Skylark. A handy grandfather clock states that it is 5:30PM.

October 31 – 9:00AM – Michael steals a 1956 International Harvester Travelall at a rest stop off Highway 139 in Northern California.

October 31 – 10:00AM – Arrives in the fictional town and cruises around a bit before he settles on main street at 11:00AM

October 31 – 1:00PM – Follows Laurie from the downtown area and finds out where the school is.

Total time: 43.5 hours

Breakdown of hours

32 (driving Highway/Susanville) + 5.5 (refueling) + 2 (waiting on main street) + 1.5 (waiting at rest stop) + 1 (eating? He eats rats in Resurrection…dude needs snacks) + 1.5 (nap?) = 43.5

Michael left Langdon on October 29th at 5:30PM in a 1971 Buick Skylark and drove all the way to California. He was forced to stop close to his destination when an unfortunate flat tire forced him to stop at a rest stop along Highway 139. During the trip he had to make at least nine pit stops to refuel because the 1971 Skylark only averaged 15 miles per gallon and the 15.2 gallon gas tank only got him a maximum of 228 miles. I think it might be easier for him to refuel at night but according to the math he had to make five daytime gas stops. That had to get kinda complicated because he had no money, doesn’t talk and didn’t steal any cars.

To make it in 29 hours like the map states he would have to drive 68 MPH. I don’t buy it so I slowed him down to 63.2 MPH. 63.2 X 32 hours on the road = 2.022.4. He covered 1,994 miles on the various highways and 28.4 on Highway 139 and various other roads after he found the school.

Since Langdon and Hillcrest are fictional, I found cities that are relatively close to the locations. Landon was in Livingston County, Illinois so I found a town that had a similar population. Then, I looked along Highway 139 in Northern California and picked Susanville due to its proximity to the highway and Yosemite State Park (because there is a convenient school trip there). The locations aren’t exact, but, I was working with fictional towns so I had to make an educated guess.

After coming up with the distance and car information, I started thinking about Myers using his blinker while making turns or switching lanes. There is nothing less frightening than thinking about him casually flipping on the blinker to make a left turn. After looking at the directions Michael had to use his blinker AT LEAST 17 times (per google maps) if he always stayed in the slow lane. If you add the nine pit stops to exit the highway and his cruising around the small town, that is somewhere around 40. Thus, Michael Myers the unstoppable killing force had to use his blinker 57 times. Immortal demons with pitch black eyes should never be bothered with speed limits, rear view mirrors and potential zipper merges.

There you have it! Michael Myers successfully completed a long drive and never got pulled over.

Make sure to listen to our Halloween podcast where we break down the jerky antics of Michael Myers.

If you liked this post make sure to check out my series featuring random data and useless numbers. Start with my groundbreaking post about Deep Blue Sea and Stellan Skarsgard and work your way down the list!