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As a basketball “expert” (those quotation marks are so heavy they have their own moons), one of my favorite things to do is offer guesswork player comparisons, typically for guys just leaving college and entering the NBA fray.

Jabari Parker, I might say, is like a slightly more athletic Carmelo Anthony, while some may have seen Greg Oden as the next coming of, I don’t know, Adonal Foyle or something.

We would like this to be Metta World Peace’s job—his and his alone—in perpetuity.

Speaking to ESPN LA 710 Radio (via ESPN Los Angeles' Dave McMenamin), the artist formerly known as Ron Artest—lately of the New York Knicks—dished on a whole range of topics, including Kobe Bryant, future coaching plans, keeping J.R. Smith in line and…I’m sorry, what did you say?

On Lakers rookie Ryan Kelly's potential: ‘He’s stronger than Kevin Durant was when he came in [the league] and can do basically the same things, but he has to start [training] now.’

I just laughed so hard my teeth fell out.

We’re not exactly sure what Metta means by “stronger” here. Perhaps he’s referring to the fact that KD could barely bench-press his own body weight coming out of college.

Maybe he means emotionally stronger, like Ryan can get through all 123 minutes of Beaches without so much as blinking. In which case, kudos, Mr. Kelly.

Anyway, Metta said other fun things, like when he called Lakers coach Mike D’Antoni “Michaelangelo” or unfurled the real reason he was happy to be back in L.A. To wit:

This year, I wanted to congratulate the females in L.A. They look amazing. When I came back, I was like, ‘Wow, something’s happened.’ I was only gone since September and they improved 100 percent.

After being bought out by the Knicks back in February, MWP had hoped to land with a contender after clearing waivers. According to Mike Monroe of the San Antonio Express-News, there are plenty of logical reasons that team may end up being the San Antonio Spurs.

Two factors that could mitigate concerns they might have about World Peace: The sore right hand that may affect starting small forward And defensive ace Kawhi Leonard for the foreseeable future; and the relationship player development coach Chad Forcier developed with World Peace when both were with the Pacers.

OK, why not? The Spurs are just the kind of team on which Metta might enjoy assuming an ancillary role—unlike with the Knicks, whom he probably thought stunk and thus wondered why he was constantly bolted to the bench.

Selfishly, I want Metta’s next employer to be DraftExpress.com.

“So, Metta, who’s your comp for Joel Embiid?”

“I see a little Frank Sinatra, with Uwe Blab’s sky-hook and Michael Bloomberg’s attitude.”

A man can dream.