I can tell you all the things that are wrong with journalese: it’s clichéd; lazy writing betrays lazy thought; good stories don’t need it; it’s a code. And there are phrases I hate: “tragic tot” is an awful, glib way to write about a dead child, and its use should be a criminal offence. But I have a “shameful secret”. The more I see, the more I like it. That’s why I don’t see my collection as an attack on fellow reporters. If I thought it was under threat, I would campaign for government protection. Perhaps we could demand road signs in two languages, as in Wales: “Accident Ahead – Long Queues”/“Horror Death Smash – Nightmare Jam”.