This saintly moment might be the most demanding iteration of motherhood since the Victorian era. Although previously taboo topics were open for discussion by this point, the aspirational-yet-down-to-earth mother played a role for her audience, of a nurturing port in stormy ideological seas. This mom welcomed all points of view, but deftly avoided courting conflict. She finessed her way around debates that had polarized the mamasphere over the last decade — the debates that, in some ways, shaped this world. (The list of potentially inflammatory topics is endless. It includes, in no particular order, what constitutes a “natural” birth, how much sacrifice should be made for the sake of breastfeeding, how much screen time is acceptable and how to feed a picky eater.)

Exemplars of this trend could be said to include Goddard, Davis and LaTonya Yvette. This era, which I position roughly between 2013 and 2018, drew to a close probably in no small part because of fatigue on the part of the women trying to pull it off. Maybe it’s the influence of the galvanizing political times we find ourselves in, but the saintly moms are beginning to take sides, even at the risk of turning off some of their readership.

This brings us to the present day, when moms are pushing the envelope in both perfect and “imperfect” directions. Today’s most popular representations of motherhood aren’t necessarily occurring on websites anymore, but rather through multi-platform personal brands, exemplified in the Los Angeles haute-slacker cohort of Busy Philipps, Kelly Oxford and Liz Carey. As media producers, they work directly with brands in ways that most consumers wouldn’t even understand, going beyond mere sponsored content. They write, they perform, they consult; they’re ambassadors. They’re profane and genuinely self-deprecating, but glossier and more aspirational than mothers have ever been. They look, through the Instagram filters anyway, like beautiful, languid teenagers. Their representations of motherhood are unsettling, hilarious and subversive, in a way that is diametrically opposed to the kind of subversion that defined early mommy blogs.

Connors sees representations of motherhood as having come full circle from the breakout mommy blog years of the mid-aughts. “Much of what is popular today is glossy or gossipy — just like before the blogs, when all we had were magazines,” she said. “Once again there’s this sense that we need to find a way to tell stories in an honest way.”

Perhaps our anxious times compel mothers to take solace in escapist fictions. Maybe our ultra-competitive job market has sapped mothers’ energy for norm-restructuring online debates about child care and sexuality. Certainly the economic model of social media platforms has rewarded glossy renderings of motherhood over the grittier stuff. Consequently, the most influential moms in pop culture today tend to reinforce old norms about what it means to be “good” and attractive.

However, mothers’ appetite for the messy version of motherhood hasn’t abated; it’s moved back into more private spaces. Private Facebook groups, group chats and Instagram direct messages are where a lot of mothers’ support-seeking takes place in 2019. New subscription services like Chairman Mom invite mothers to interact in ad-free discussion groups that feel a lot like 2009.

The next wave of mom-influencers, meanwhile, will be known primarily for their professional profiles. Women like Audrey Gelman of the Wing and Leandra Medine of Man Repeller are interesting additions to the mamasphere because their identities are hyphenated — an experience that didn’t get much convincing coverage until recently. They are entrepreneurs-artists-community leaders, and their social influence was established before they had children. Now that they do, motherhood adds another valuable dimension to their brands.