What a fucking way to wake up. Tommy, you can’t even go outside yet, and you want to claim Tampa Bay? Are you Jose Gaspar? No, because Jose didn’t make out with his sons. This TB12 shirt is the worst piece of buccaneer merchandise since the Bo Jackson jersey. I was on the fence about having Brady here in Tampa for the last 2 years of his career, but waking up to this made my decision easy. I’m not a fan. I’m not a fan of the move and I’m not a fan of his. The move will result in a superbowl appearance at the very least, but in the end it will be more about Brady than the bucs. This was his motivation behind coming here in the first place. All that is fine when you look at it. There is no animosity towards him because of this, but he receives no love either. We need to get into what really drives this distaste for my own QB, and thats the fact that he is just SO….FUCKING…CORNY.

I don’t want to spend two seconds with Tom Brady, not even one. What are we going to talk about? How to build a gravity bong out of an ugg? Pass. I can’t believe the audacity of this man. I wouldn’t be writing this if he only filed for Tampa Brady. That’s merch sales if I ever saw them. But Tompa Brady? How gross? Tampon Brady is something I’m going to copyright and sell merch off that. Then we’ll see whose shirts are packing Raymond James.

Probably still his.