I learned heaps from Ms.Fonseca's book. I initially harbored a romantic image of the gypsy as a free spirited roaming people, full of mischief, passion and power. People have often called me a gypsy because of my previous traveling lifestyle and I enjoyed the label.



Hearing about women's position in gypsy society blew my mind. They are married as young teens and kept as servants to their mother-in-laws and men until their own children grow and they finally get to be the boss. They are constraine

I learned heaps from Ms.Fonseca's book. I initially harbored a romantic image of the gypsy as a free spirited roaming people, full of mischief, passion and power. People have often called me a gypsy because of my previous traveling lifestyle and I enjoyed the label.



Hearing about women's position in gypsy society blew my mind. They are married as young teens and kept as servants to their mother-in-laws and men until their own children grow and they finally get to be the boss. They are constrained by numerous laws about cleanliness including quite a few intended to protect poor lusty men from being tempted by them (showing their knees). Ms.Fonseca's idea that the women are happier than the men because they have something to do is interesting, but learning of all the rules and regulation they are subject to certainly cured me of my romantic longing to be a gypsy!



While I was previously aware of nasty gossiping about gypsy people by those living around them, I had no idea of the level of authority sanctioned violence and destruction that they have been subjected to. In the multitude of WW2 movies and books I have experienced over the years I can not recall a single reference to persecuted gypsies! Their origins as Indians or as slaves was new information for me as well. This makes me wonder whether the descendants of slaves in America would continue to be subjected to similar persecution if not for the organization by the likes of Martin Luther King and other crusaders like him.



One recurrent concept that fascinated me in this book was the exploration of the cultural value of truth telling vs. entertaining. I have been disappointed by people in my life when I have met someone who always agreed with me. I thought we had everything in common, and felt I had discovered a kindred spirit; only to realize later that they were telling me everything that I wanted to hear, when it was not entirely true. Perhaps they had a little bit of gypsy in them. There is certainly a wide range of opinions on the value of truth. In contrast, others I have met insist on telling the whole truth, including how that dress makes you look fat! I wonder where the best compromise between the 2 extremes lies.



On page 237 the novel states that for hundreds of years gypsies have realized that "appearance was always at least as important as reality." Perhaps this is related to their tradition of roaming. In a short term relationship you can dazzle another person with whatever they want to hear. You won't be around long enough for them to realize that what you are telling them is not true. After you leave they will remain thrilled and satisfied with their personally idealized portrait of you. In a long term relationship, the risk is great that eventually over the years the truth will come out somehow and spoil their imaginary portrait of perfection. The beautiful liar may make you much happier over the short term, but the reliable truth teller will make you feel more secure over time. Although both aim to make you happy, their intended period of influence is different.



This reminds of an interview of a beautiful Brazilian who worked in a grimy jungle. The interviewer was amazed at how the Brazilian could emerge every day immaculately made up to do a dirty job. Myself, I have always thought of getting 'made up' as a mask, somewhat disingenuous. I have always thought that the work you do is more important than your physical presentation. The Brazilian replied that she felt a responsibility to give others something nice and cheerful to look at. That made me think twice.



Perhaps in gypsy culture it is more important to present people with something nice and cheerful, than to present you with the truth. Which is kinder - to tell the person that the dress doesn't fit, or to tell them that they are beautiful?



Some poeple can be maddening in their ability to sabotage themselves when they need most to succeed. For example, the alcoholic who gives you hope, only to relapse. For the gypsies it would seem that their isolationism from mainstream culture is the drug that they can't give up.



Despite their desperate need for respresentation in gadje government in order to prevent their brutal victimization, they continue to kick themselves in the teeth by putting roadblocks in the way of those Roma who have become educated and would like to work with gadje governments to improve their conditions.



This was echoed in an awful reality TV show that I stumbled across "American Gypsies". Of course, reality TV shows generally focus on any drama they can drum up and this one was no exception. I only tolerated a couple of episodes but they were full of arguments and fights between gypsies. One episode showed a family trashing another's fortune telling business because they had broken a gypsy rule of setting up shop less than 3 blocks away from their own business. Another showed the family tumult caused when a father chose to allow his daughter to study acting, therefore spending time with gadje. This show led the viewer to a similar conclusion as the book; that gypsies need to get out of each other's way and learn a method of cultural preservation that does not focus on their exclusion from mainstream culture.



In conclusion, this was an eye opening book and I would recommend it to anyone interested in gypsy culture.



This book was published 20 years ago. Has anyone heard information about the situation of the gypsies since then?