When we last left our honey of a heroine, she had bravely embarked on an adventure deep into the bowels of Fusion Resort, a rather blatant attempt by Team Fusion of putting a friendly face on their organization and (probably) even monetizing the thing.

What horrors of the depravity of human nature will she find on the second floor?

Well, besides this old man not knowing how to use techology. Probably put it in upside down.

Yeah, swipe cards are a pain even when they’re right-side-up, really. There’s a reason the PC system was never built to take swipe cards – even I’m not that cruel.



In the meantime, a young female Luigi is running around while Honey seriously considers blasting a pot open to look for Rupees. Or teaching Dragon Claw to one of her decidedly not dragon-clawed Pokemon, or some such.

Chat, meanwhile, is enjoying the trumpets in the background music.

Honey doesn’t need a keycard to wander into some random woman’s room, though.

She spent a lot of time looking at her cute little Oshawott, so I might as well post his stats.

And moveset. She swapped Cut with Focus Energy, which on the one hand means that a mostly useless move is the most likely one to be selected in battle, but on the other hand means it will be the most likely to be replaced after a level-up or with a TM. Although the only TM/HM we have that Oshawott can use is Cut, which has already been used.

This character, who has a name and thus must be somewhat important, assumes that Honey’s ability to enter the room is not the result of Honey’s dimensional-warping powers and must merely be because she’s the room service.

(Actually, the door was just open. Open doors around a Host are always an invitation. Always.)

“…know.”



A fraction of a second later, Melanie insults us.

Maryanne, Maryanne, what are you doing here? Stop that jabbering and do as I say! Hurry, hurry!

After repeated attempts to use the elevator (usually ending in Honey being told she needs a Penthouse Key to make it to the fifth floor), we make it to the fourth floor.

Is Diana in this room, perchance?

In typical Host fashion, Honey gravitates to the one person in this room who is the LEAST likely to be named Diana. (I mean, those two in green, they have short hair, but from those sprites it looks like they’re wearing dresses. Probably?)

Not-Diana never does clarify what service he means. So Honey decides to try it out for herself.

Honey almost teaches MGM this, but decides against it. Such language, after all. Also, not Diana.

This one teaches Seed Bomb. And is also not Diana.

Should I presume she’s not Diana either? If she is, she certainly doesn’t act like it.

In the end, we leave the room without Diana and without anyone having learned Curse or Seed Bomb. (Grotle had already learned Curse from level-up anyway.)

HONEY

WAT U DOIN

Y U NO FIND DIANA?

Honey listens to chat’s pleas and leaves the elevator.

Due to her extreme lack of coordination, she hides in the bushes.

This is the door to what I can only assume is Diana’s room. Upon entering it, Honey immediately walked back out, walked across the room, read the sign outside the move tutors’ room (which basically said that it was the move tutors’ room), then walked back into Diana’s room and immediately walked back out again.

Voices. They’re IN OL of a drug.

Apparently third time’s the charm here.

Oh dear.

“Woman, the head of the organization that owns this hotel has promised to kill me. Obviously I’m not working for him.”

It’s what Honey would probably like to say, but she doesn’t.

At least the slots are cheerful, even if nobody else is. Granted, the slots are also glitched, but that doesn’t mean they can’t grin and bear it.

I’d say the fact that slots don’t have mouths signifies otherwise, though.

Honey joins in the glitchy fun and puts a crown of leaves on her head.

However, she leaves them where she found them.

She says yes.

Of course, she could always try to get into the resort by posing as room service…

The chef tells Honey that Diana is a very important guest and that she should deliver the meal quickly.

Obviously he doesn’t know how the Voices do things.

Case in point: after futzing around in the elevator for three minutes, Honey overshoots and wanders into the wrong room again.

And she crawls back into the elevator at least twice before finally making it back into Diana’s room.

Diana then told Honey to get out of her room immediately. And when Honey stuck around, she said it was ‘immature’ of Honey to try to ‘get on (her) good side’.

Well, thanks for the gratitude. We aren’t even the room service around here. And I’m fairly certain Honey spit in your food.

Time to go back and see if Melanie is any nicer. (Spoiler: she probably isn’t.)

As it happens, she’s even worse. I’m not even going to bother screenshotting her rant, but she gives us the chance for ‘forgiveness’ if we do her shopping for her. Five Poke Balls, one Potion, and a Harbor Mail. She even gave Honey $1350 to buy them with.

Stop right there, lady. You just insulted this girl, ordered her to go shopping for her, and handed her money? What’s to stop her from just running away with your money and never coming back?

Well, besides the Voices, but what’s to stop them from doing it?

Looks like this quest will continue.

To be continued…