getawfmylaaaand Fri 18-May-18 16:00:47

DH was recently poorly and had to have a very minor operation. He's perfectly fine and back at work.. however there's still a problem:



For the last 4 weeks, MiL has been calling DH daily to ask about his bowel movements. She demands colour, texture and frequency and any 'anomalies'. Illness was nothing to do with bowels.



She's also insisted on attending every single dr's appointment with DH while I've been at work (DH couldn't drive), so she's been taking him under the pretence of giving him a lift, then following him into the room with the doctor and when DH asked her what on earth she thinks she's doing, she's feigned getting upset and DH hasn't had the energy to make a scene, so she's been in with him . After his appointments, he generally calls me to have a chat about what's been said and I can hear her in the background trying to tell him what to say. It's like 'don't tell her that DH, she doesn't need to know all that'. Then, when we go over for dinner she drops bits about his medical stuff into conversation and waits to see if I react as if I don't already know. It's really really odd.



Worst of all she's shared quite personal medical stuff with a few family friends, to the point where DH had a call from one of her friends asking if he'd tried this particular brand of wooshit snake oil because it had helped loads with her BP apparently .



DH is baffled and quite upset by it all. He's not really communicating with his Mum because he hasn't got the mental energy to deal with her and as a result MiL is incessantly calling and texting me at work etc to find out how he is etc. I've tried to stop this by saying 'he's very well thanks MiL and probably at work, I'll ask him to call you when he has time' but she's not getting the hint at all.



DH also gently suggested to her that she should back off a bit but she got really upset and said "you're my son of course Im worried about you" and that's been the standard response to any nudging we've done.



For full context, we've not wanted to upset her too much because FiL passed away 18 months ago and she's still very fragile. I sort of understand her anxiety but I fele like it's tipping into manipulation.



Any ideas?