I did an interview on a college radio station today, and Jee Willikers was I nervous…at first. I don’t usually spazz out in interviews, but my heart started thumping, my brain froze, and my voice was shaky.

How embarrassing.

So how did I deal with it? Well, I hung up and told him that my phone died.

Yes, the confidence coach freaked out and bailed

Guess what? It’s not the first time this happened. But it’s been awhile.

When the host called me back, I’d regained my faculties and the interview was a success (I’ll post it later). Luckily it wasn’t live.

During the interview, I used my own freakout, and how I overcame it, as an example of how someone can subdue their own anxieties.

If when approaching strangers, you suffer from panic attacks, don’t hide from it. Feel it in your body. Where is the fear manifesting? In your chest? Your face? Once you find it, announce it to the girl. “You know what? You’re actually affecting my breathing. My chest is tight. You make me nervous, and women don’t usually do that.”

Announce it to yourself. Greet it: “Oh, there you are anxiety. Hello.”

At this point, forget about seduction; this is immersion therapy

You’re rehabilitating yourself, re-wiring your lizard brain, and it takes work. By hiding from the pain of embarrassment you’re telling your subconscious that your freakout is the expected behaviour, and you’ll only reinforce this reaction.

When you feel the impending gak attack, stay in the situation for as long as possible—at least two minutes. Ask her or him a simple question like, “What did you want to be when you were ten years old.” This will buy you a minute. In this time, focus on your breathing. Take four or five deep breaths, and just stare at their nose and try not to think; let the anxiety inducing thoughts drift by you without paying them attention.

Your mind will be racing. This is caused by adrenaline. The problem with spazz outs is the more you think about it, the worse it gets. So let go of the outcome and tell yourself, “Ok, this is happening.” And be cool with it.

Tell yourself to relax: “Relax. This is fine. Relax.”

Your body actually follows your commands. Your body is a machine and you are the pilot.

If the problem still persists, try to recreate it, as many times as possible.

When soldiers join the army they are pushed to crawl under barbed wire while instructors fire rifles over their heads. They do this over, and over, until the soldiers become almost bored with the exercise. Your lizard brain doesn’t know the difference between a bullet and a girl. So you have to train it to reward instead of punish you for facing your fears.

It will be ok. Embarrassment won’t kill you. And it’s better to conquer this fear with strangers than at your next board meeting.

***I’m accepting clients and will travel to any major city upon request. Email me for a free 30 minute consultation, a $50 value.***