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This is an ongoing series, detailing the adventures and happenings of five players running through the classic Tomb of Horrors, from the 1st edition of Dungeon and Dragons, converted to 5th edition.



There is one thing I forgot to mention last post. Before exploring the archway because they were convinced it was the right way to move forward, the party had already found the real way forward. Geth, while exploring the perimeter of the room, came across a spot in the wall near the tapestry which had a slot in it, about the size of a ring. Geth deserves massive credit here: no one else made the connection, but he immediately remembers “the loop of magical metal” from the riddle and inserts the ring of protection he found. It disappears, the stone slides down, the true way forward is revealed.

He deserves less credit, then, for spending the next ten minutes exploring his sexuality in the misty archway. Although, he asserts he did figure it was a trap, but was really interested in reversing the effects of the spell once he’d stepped through the first time. Fair enough!

Round One: Bull and Flame

Geth gave a toss of her blonde hair as she finished crushing the obstinate and lying son-of-bitch skeleton underneath her heel. She looked to the others, who were already making their way towards the secret opening, deciding this was, in fact, the right way to go. She started to follow, but had hardly put a foot forward when she felt something impact her side. Instinct alone let her keep her balance, as she moved with the blow and let the momentum spin her lightly to one side instead of driving her into the ground. A whip of blood marked the movement: she was bleeding suddenly from two gaping holes in her side. The pain came a second later, and she gripped her perforated gut with both hands, wincing. A rush of air moving past her was the only sign of whatever had struck her—otherwise, the room showed no combatant.

DM rolls 10d10+5 for 54 damage. It wasn’t as good a roll as it could have been. The Exterminus’ gore attack can easily kill a character straight out.

“Attacked…” she gasped, trying to get the attention of the others. It’s like trying to speak in a burning room, her lungs scream with fire (a punctured lung?) as she forces the breath past her lips. “There is something else here with us!”



Taniya is the first to react. Geth has a mild distaste for the verbose Elf but she has to grudgingly appreciate her speed as Taniya raises her chubby hands and a strange creature appears in the middle of the room, looking around with disdain. It is almost like an angel, but twisted in appearance, with tiny tendrils erupting like a pox from its face and two longer tentacles coming from its back where the broken and splintered remains of wings can be seen. Even Taniya looks surprised.

“That’s not normally how it works,” she says in her newfound British drawl. Still, at least the creature doesn’t seem to be attacking them. Maybe its the dark nature of this place, to twist even their spells into dark mockeries.



Spell note: this is the spell guardian of faith. I took some inspiration from the new release of Ravenloft, Curse of Strahd, which gives cosmetic changes to some of the spells. I like the idea that Acerak’s magic is so pervasive in his lair that it affects the appearance of some of the spells. This was a chance to play with that concept.

While Geth and Taniya are looking at the abomination the elf has summoned, Otto breathes deep and murmurs words she last spoke when robbing the church graveyard back in Feylan. Instantly her vision changes. The dark of the room becomes a light grey. She looks around and soon enough spots what she was looking for. A golden glow emanates off of a large bull headed creature balanced precariously but precisely in the rafters of the room, like a hideous crow. In one furred hand it clutches a long spear. The horns on its heads drip with red blood.

“There,” Otto says, noting with pleasure that her voice has lost none of its command in her transformation. “Ceiling! Look to the rafters!” Otto points.



Chad is next to react. He breaks his mind into two parts, keeping one concentrating on his fire elemental and using another to cast the spell Faerie Fire. It is too much effort: the Faerie Fire, meant to illuminate invisible creatures, dies before he can get it off. Only a spark of gold at the tips of his fingers marks the attempt. Too difficult to concentrate on the two spells at once. Even so, the Fire Elemental almost slips from his control. Chad feels a sweat break out over his body. He remembers Lystelle, a former roommate in college, who lost control over a water elemental during a drunken bar fight. He remembers the sight of the elemental shoving a watery fist down her throat and her eyes growing larger and larger as she drowned standing up, while the city guard fought unsuccessfully to banish the creature. Her parents hadn’t been able to afford the cost of resurrection.



Chad shoves the thought away. Even though he almost lost control, he never lost his composure, and the others have no idea of the battle he has just fought and won.

Spell rules: conjuring is a concentration spell. So is Faerie Fire. And Hold Monster (which comes into play later). We won’t realize this until it is too late though, so at one point in this battle Chad has all three going. I don’t “take back,” when I Dungeon Master, unless I catch something immediately. I have a familiar phrase I am found of repeating in these circumstances: Magic is fickle and unpredictable. If a spell isn’t played out exactly according to the rules, well, that’s just magic being fickle. In this case, Chad was able to hold control because we forgot the rule. Magic is unpredictable that way.



Suddenly Taniya’s fallen angel is whipping out at something. There is a bellow and for a brief moment the Minotaurian beast, the Exterminus, flickers into view. It disappears a second later but that is enough for Taniya. She raises her shield just in time feel a heavy impact pound against it. She keeps her footing and strikes out at the empty air, but the creature must have already retreated.

I rolled a total failure on the Exterminus’ attack roll. In fact, I never once get off its spear strike, so the group will learn for the first time reading this that the spear is actually poisoned and would cast slow on them.

“The pews!”Otto shouts. Chad points again, as Ikbaldi tears across the room with a roar, her great axe held high. The fire elemental follows, but this time Chad also manages to shoot off a blast of pinkish light that spreads over the pews like cotton dust. The Faerie Fire settles on something they couldn’t previously see, the dust clinging to the invisible form of the Exterminus and more or less highlighting its location.

The flame elemental hesitates slightly in its charge, but Chad doesn’t notice. For now, he is content believing he has the creature still under his control.

Ikbaldi reaches the Minotaur and immediately tears into it, slashing three times with her axe, mighty swings that look as if they could fell a tree. The Exterminus takes two of the blows before it realizes its advantage is lost and clumsily moves to block the third. A moment later it cries out in pain as fire erupts around it: the fire elemental engulfs it in its fiery body. Ikbaldi’s eyebrows burn off from the heat, but she does not leave off her attack, striking again and again while the Exterminus struggles to block, barely fending off each blow.

Ikbaldi in a rage gains resistance to everything except psychic damage. It’s quite frightening. I would love to one day see a party of three or four barbarians. They would either always fight Trolls and Giants, or they would continually be charmed into fighting each other.

Geth stumbles over to the altar. Blood, she thinks. Blood is the sacrifice. Those who can handle power, the altar will grant it to. She places a bloody hand on the altar. For a moment, her hair stands on end, then a great boom of thunder is heard as magical lightning streaks up and down the pews. Even Ikbaldi feels this one, but not as badly as the Exterminus. It howls in pain—a combination of fire and electricity rippling up and down its muscles—and leaps 60 feet straight up, grabbing hold of the rafters and swinging itself onto them. Geth staggers back from the altar, feeling like a storm has passed through her arm, but otherwise okay. The altar begins to glow a dark red, like an angry boil. Geth crouches next to it, but careful not to lean against it. She isn’t quite ready to use its power again.

Ikbaldi stands, chest heaving, looking up at the ceiling, trying to spot the pink glow that marks the Exterminus. The Flame Elemental hovers nearby, still following its last decree from Chad: Follow the Exterminus.

Otto stares at the tapestry, ignoring the battle. Her mind is racing, piecing together bits of arcana that she has half forgotten. How does this creature work? Where does it come from? If the tapestry is its home, then perhaps its lifeforce is connected to it. Coming to a decision, Otto raises a hand and points a slender finger at the tapestry. “Felero,” she hisses, and a line of fire bursts from her finger, lancing into the heart of the tapestry. The cloth catches and begins to burn. In the rafters, the Exterminus slowly becomes visible, the power of its invisibility disappearing with the tapestry.

Otto giggles in triumph, but not for long. A low growl sounds nearby as something else enters the fray. The second minotaur, the larger one with the axe, steps from the tapestry and looks around the room with beady eyes. It focuses on Chad and starts to lumber over that way, breathing great huffs of angry breath.

“Fuck off,” Chad says. “I’m not the one who burnt your tapestry. That was Otto!” He points at the surprised mage. “That’s him—er, her—over there.”

The Axeterminus turns and immediately charges at Otto, goring her.

“Asshole,” Otto mutters in Chad’s direction as the beast’s horns tear into her.



Chad at least has the decency to cast hold monster on the creature. He holds out his hands and makes a gripping motion in the air, forcing himself to believe that his hands are the hands of a god, and they are wrapping tight around the Axeterminus. His hands have held music; have shaped strings and air and vibrations into love, and loneliness, and joy. Now they shape reality, building a cage against that which would do him harm. He feels the creature’s will come up against his own, and it is a powerful will, especially when faced with a threat to its freedom. This is a beast used to roaming endless miles of the dead worlds, reaving souls from the few poor people left alive there and unfortunate enough to meet him. But Chad has what he would call “luck” on his side, and slowly—though there is nothing physically there—he feels the strength of the monster’s muscles beneath his grasping hands and knows “I am stronger.”



Meanwhile, the Exterminus can feel its time has come. These adventurers are too strong for it. It crouches in the rafters, weighing its options. It wants to escape, keep living. Death isn’t permanent for it, that’s not it at all. Killed here, it will still answer Acerak’s call when he ultimately kills these fools and repairs his lair from their incursion. But while he waits for that call, he will be banished to the Nine Hells, where Agortha the Screamer has promised him twelve lives of twelve torments. He does not wish this, but then again… anger flows through him, These whelps have dared to hurt him. They have disgraced him. They dare to use the altar against him.

And that’s when he sees red. The altar is his master’s. It is not for them. But he knows its secret. He knows that the second touch will cause it to destroy everyone in the room. He will not let these one-lifetime fools send him to the afterlife, he will walk there himself and drag them into hell with him. That will make his torments worth it, watching them writhe on the Screamer’s rack next to him.

He aims for the altar, speaks a curse, and leaps.

He is thirty feet from the altar. The ugly barbarian bitch is raising her axe, but he is too far above her. He is twenty feet from the altar. The fat elf is raising her shield to block him again, but he is not aiming for her. He is ten feet from the altar… and then seven waves of pain course through him. A fallen angel looks up at him with a wry grin, its tentacles wrapped around his throat and his chest, pulling him apart. Momentum carries them both forward—the altar is only five feet away. He reaches out a hand… and then there is flame all around him as the fire elemental crashes into him. He watches his hand disintegrate, and that is the last thing he sees.

This was a cool moment. The Exterminus got hurt really bad really quickly in this fight, partially because of bad rolls on my part but also because Chad was able to double cast Faerie Fire and still use the fire elemental… not to mention he was rolling 5d10 damage for the fire elemental instead of the 1d10 it actually does. But that will come back with a vengeance against him in a moment. As a last resort the Exterminus decides to throw itself on the altar. If touched a second time, it explodes for some ridiculous amount of damage in a fairly large radius. It was pretty guaranteed to take out Geth, crouching behind it, and probably Taniya, too, who isn’t far away. Maybe even Chad and Otto. The altar is actually one of the reasons I chose this room for a combat. I love the idea that players may discover that it strikes enemies in the pews, and then blow themselves up when they try to use it again. I’m surprised the original version of this room is without combat. It seems like a very Gygax thing to do, to set up this expectation and then turn it on its head. Anyway, between the fire elemental readying its action to follow and burn up the Exterminus and Taniya’s spirit guardian being placed really well, the Exterminus is killed right before it hits the altar. The margin of error? 4 damage points. That’s epically cutting it close.

The group simultaneously cheers, each in their own way. Otto laughs. Taniya fist pumps. Ikbaldi throws back her head and howls. Geth smiles silently and moves in towards the held Axeterminus, freeing her rapier. Only Chad says nothing. One corner of his mind is concentrating on holding the Axeterminus, which continues to struggle against him. Another corner is dimly aware that the Fire Elemental is looking towards him and not obeying his command to engulf the held creature. Instead he feels its desire wash over him. It wants him. It needs him. It wants to show him the pit it was summoned from.



Round Two: Acid Tears

Like vultures, they circled him. The Axeterminus’ mind was not the mind of his fallen brother: he did not think thoughts of betrayal or propriety. He thought only of the taste of blood, and his inability to get it from them. His eyes followed the women as they struck, their twitching in their sockets the only motion he could make. He wanted to gnash their bones in his jaws. He wanted to tear the skin from them the way a lover tears clothing. But he couldn’t move. He could only watch.

Ikbaldi’s axe struck at the same spot on the Axeterminus until thick skin cracked and green blood spilled upon the stone of the altar room. A strange thing was happening in her mind—she thought she could hear distant crying, but she could not be sure. She attacked again, trying to push the sound out of her head. Geth moved in, too, striking not with force but with precision. When her first strike was not to her liking, she spoke a magic phrase, revo emag, and the fate dial clicked forward another step. Time went backwards a mere second, just enough for Geth to change the angle of her rapier and strike a better spot. More blood spilled. It began to run down into the pews, where it oddly disappeared, as if soaked up by the floor itself. No one noticed this, nor the dim shapes that were forming in the far corner of the pews.

Not many turns of the dial left. Just three, before it’s out! One more full time reversal, or a few minor beneficial effects.

That pisses me off, Chad thought as his ears caught the magic words Geth spoke. He thought a thief would know the value of a powerful magic item better than most, but no—here was proof that to Geth, the magic sundial was just another thing to be used up and then discarded. Something that could reset time, that was something that could save their lives at a critical moment, and here Geth had used it twice in one room. Twice! His frustration grew. He hated it when people squandered their resources. He had seen too much talent squandered at university, too many people settle for less than what they could achieve. He would never let that happen. He had sought out the most famous dungeon in history, and now he was going to conquer it…



The fire elemental burnt away his thoughts along with flesh and hair, as it descended upon him in a rush of heat and light. Pain was all he felt, but he couldn’t let go. He had to hold onto the Axeterminus, or they would all be lost. He didn’t scream. He didn’t curse. He closed his eyes to protect his sensitive eyes and he concentrated on living long enough for his companions to end the fight.

Taniya saw what was happening. She saw the elemental descend on its master. She also had the answer. After all, it was she had banished the Pumpkin Slime from Crazy Cobb’s vegetable garden at the tender age of 87. And hadn’t Master Fleurendel told her that she was the best student he’d ever had the privilege of teaching silent casting to? She raised her hands now and whispered the imploring words of banishment, preparing to send the elemental back to the planes of fire. But before the spell could take hold, something cold touched the back of her neck.

Taniya turned, and darkness stared back at her, darkness punctuated by two red eyes glowing deep in the recesses of a hooded cloak. It was a man, but no living breath had passed between his lips in many a year. He reached out again and where he swiped at her face, her skin momentarily rotted and became translucent, so that by the time his hand had passed through her throat, it felt like her larynx had been ripped out. She coughed blood and thrust a hand at the figure, including it in her divine plea of banishment. Please, Freyja, she thought. Now more than ever, I need your light!

Nothing happened. Freyja was silent. Chad was not: he finally let out a scream as his body caught on fire. He fell to one knee, held on for a moment longer, then collapsed in a smoldering heap on the ground. In the same instant, the hold over the Axeterminus broke, and the beast bellowed. Then, the blood spilled from it began to hiss and boil. Ikbaldi’s axe, covered in the stuff, began to reek of burning iron. The barbarian warrior cursed and pressed on with the attack, still hearing a child’s sob in her head, only louder now.

The blood of the Axeterminus continued to boil on the ground. Otto coughed, then turned and vomited as the smell of sulfur and rotten flesh assailed her nostrils. Geth felt her lungs burn and moved away as the Axeterminus continued to spill its acidic, sulfuric insides into the open air.

Nearby, Taniya scrambled away from the hooded ghost as it reached for her again. Past him, by the light of little fires the elemental had left amongst the pew, she could see another ghostly figure. This one was tall, tattooed, and wore robes that were red even in the afterlife. The figure raised his hands and red missiles exploded from them, some slamming into Taniya, others screaming past her to slam into Ikbaldi and Geth. In the instant that she was hit, she stumbled to her knees and the hooded man was on her, his hands grasping at her back, reaching inside her to grasp her spine with icy fingers.

Taniya ripped herself painfully free, pulled herself up, and suddenly understood why Freyja had not answered her call. She had wanted her to wait until everything was in place. Until everyone was here. Taniya dodged another strike from the ghost and quickly backed up, standing next to her angel. It was a malformation, but it was her malformation. The ghost followed her, but the angel was quicker, grabbing the spectre’s outstretched hand and crushing it in its own. The ghost flickered and its image became hazy for an instant as it moaned in pain. It stopped advancing. That was enough for Taniya.

“Freyja! Goddess of Justice! Banish these creatures from my sight!”

There was a faint popping noise. Both ghosts, the Axeterminus, and the elemental faded and then disappeared. But then the Axeterminus and the hooded ghost simply appeared again. Taniya gritted her teeth. Two were better than none. Freyja’s will be done.

Both the Exterminus and Axeterminus have the ability to jump between planes at will, so banishment doesn’t work on them. The hooded ghost made his save, but the mage (very powerful!) and the Elemental fail and are banished for one minute. The mage had counterspell, but I forgot to use it. Might not be the last the party sees of him, though.

Ikbaldi cried out in pain as wailing suddenly overwhelmed her mind. It was not one child: it was a thousand. And the images coursing through her head were… She saw herself as a younger man, running inside a burning barn to save a woman, a woman he loved. But when Ikbaldi got there, the woman was bleeding already, and the creatures standing above her were laughing, laughing at his failure.

Psychic damage. Something else is here, attacking Ikbaldi.

The Axeterminus shoved Ikbaldi aside and turned back to Otto. This was the one who had destroyed the tapestry, a battlefield designed just for its pleasure. It lashed out with its axe and felt a satisfying crunch of bone and muscle as the blade met flesh and the long haired woman nearly fell in two halves, entrails spilling from underneath her witch’s robes. He then looked to the blonde one, but he couldn’t quite reach her. Moving was becoming difficult on this plane. His muscles were bulging beyond their normal size. He could feel pressure building up inside of him. He shook his head twice in pain and frustration and then phased out to the ethereal plane.

Round Three: Finish Them

Time to leave, Geth thought. That was the first thing she had learned as a thief. Walk away at the right time, and you will survive. Learn this lesson too late, and it would be the last lesson you ever received. She tore off across the room, stopping only to contemplate prying a gemstone off of the altar, thinking better of it, and heading for the secret door.

Ikbaldi regained her senses in time to see Otto fall and the beast disappear. Wasting no time, she rushed to the wizard’s body, lifted her over one shoulder, and began to follow Geth, trying once again to ignore the growing sensation that a child was watching him, waiting for him.

Taniya saw them coming. She took a deep breath and when she breathed out, healing energy flowed from her, washing over her injured companions. Ikbaldi’s splitting headache subsided. Chad’s charred skin began to piece back together and he rose with a groan. The holes in Geth’s side closed. Otto blinked and wondered how she was so high above the ground without casting levitate. Taniya turned to follow them all, but the hooded ghost was having none of it. His fingers locked onto the back of her skull and the others could see her skin pull back, the skull crack, and her brain pulsing under his grip as it began to rot and decay. Taniya screamed and for a moment her old voice was back, calling out a shrill denial of the pain being forced upon her. Then her angel was between them, whipping its tendrils madly at the ghost, who backed off from it, hissing. Taniya’s spell was weakening though. Already the angel was fading, becoming as translucent as the ghost it fought. And so Taniya ran, grabbing Chad as she went and pulling him to his feet.

The Axeterminus reappeared directly behind Ikbaldi. It was bloated, puffed up to twice its normal size. With each movement, thick liquid seemed to swell and pulse just beneath the surface of its skin. Its skin was pulled tight and shiny across whatever that liquid was. It didn’t look functional any more. One eye was almost popping from its socket, the other swelled shut, as one side of the face had puffed up in opposite proportion to the other. It swung at Ikbaldi, and cut her across the back. Without hesitation, Ikbaldi dropped Otto and turned, slamming her own axe into the creature.

There was a sound like water bursting from a pipe and acid sprayed in a ten foot cloud as the Axeterminus burst. Ikbaldi’s axe curled and rusted. Acid splashed across her tanned skin, leaving great splotches of white that burned and itched. in one spot on her arm the splotch continued to hiss and bubble until skin gave way to bone. Otto took a splash of acid directly to the chest, destroying the robes she had made for herself before eating through skin and exposing her heart to open air. It’s a curious feeling, she thought, and fell.

Moments later, the group was all in the hallway past the secret door. Ikbaldi and Otto were being tended to by Chad, a healer in his own right. Geth was already moving on, looking to a long staircase that headed down into further gloom. Only Taniya stood at the entrance to the secret door, looking back into the altar room. Staring back at her was the figure of the hooded man. He had been joined at his side by a little girl, who clutched his hand and sobbed silently. The two didn’t seem to want to follow them or attack them as long as they weren’t in the room. Taniya raised a hand, ready to cast a radiant spell upon them… and then she stopped. Or rather, some premonition of danger stopped her. Something told her if she struck these ghosts now, she would be inviting them to continue the fight.

I placed a seal on this room, preventing all combatants except the Exterminus from leaving… or at least, from entering the hallways attached to it. There may be other ways for them to travel around the tombs. One condition of the seal is that if something attacks them from outside the room, the seal is broken and they can roam free. That would be really bad in this case, as these three ghosts (Witch, Mage, Monk) are one of the toughest fights I’ve built for this run through and the party is pretty hurt at this point.

So Taniya backs away and the group quickly makes their way down the staircase, going deeper into the tomb, while the two ghosts look on in silence.

Sometimes posting dice rolls and rules discussions doesn’t cut it. Sometimes you have to tell things like a story. It’s more exciting that way. Next time, Missteps.

