While waiting in an unnaturally long line at the customer service desk in my local grocery store today, I very animatedly chatted with my tot, Clara. I discussed with her why we were in line, how long it would probably take, helped her take notice of other children around her and even explained where we were. A man, fresh to the parenting world, cradling and rocking his newborn in his arms looked at me strange as I conversed with Clara and I wasn’t sure exactly why. Did I forget to brush my hair, again? Please tell me I didn’t forget to put eye makeup on both eyes. Oh no, am I wearing those jeans with the hole on the butt, I thought I threw those out!? Then suddenly it dawned on me, he thinks it’s strange for me to be talking to a toddler who doesn’t understand most of what I am talking about and doesn’t talk back and he really must think it’s strange that I am answering my own questions to her. Here’s the thing, new daddy, the more you talk to your kids, the more they’ll learn, even at this age.

I have been talking to Clara since she was in the womb. It made me not only feel more connected to her, but I felt like the more I talked to her, the more she would find my voice soothing once she was born. I am not sure where science stands on this but I loved talking to her. And once she was born I could not shut up! Everything I did, I explained it to her. Mommy is changing your diaper, lift the legs, front to back, get a clean diaper from the drawer, snap the sides, kiss the belly, all done! I know she didn’t understand me at first, I’m not crazy, but at some point all babies start to understand bits of what you are saying. They will start catching those important words that show up often, mommy, daddy, bottle, kitty, and I fully believe if you start broadening what you say to your baby at a younger age, the better chance they will be able to understand more complex words sooner than other tots their age.

It amazes me how quickly Clara learns words. It can take her only a few times of repetitive hearing, seeing and touching to understand what a certain word means. I think too many parents focus too heavily on typical baby words on a day-to-day basis instead of attempting to expand the words that they hear targeted towards them. Yes, maybe you have other conversations with adults with the little one around, but how often do you attempt to include and really try to have the toddler interact in those conversations? It’s so easy for us as parents to just say a few key words to our tots, have them understand us and leave it at that. I want more parents to form sentences whilst conversing with their children and using the adult synonym for the too often used baby words. I want to hear parents explaining to their babies in the grocery store what they are making for dinner and what item is going into the cart. I want to see parents be teachers, not just caregivers.

Here’s a simple task for all parents of young tots, write down how many words your little one understands. They don’t have to be able to say the word, just understand what it means. If you find that most of these words are the baby version, i.e. “baba” instead of “bottle”, try to strive to teach them the correct word, expanding their little internal dictionary. This also can allow you to see what you would like to teach them next. If they know a lot of body parts, but not many commands like “sit” or “give”, you should possibly see if you are focusing too heavily on trick cues that baby can show off to Grandma and Grandpa and not allowing them the chance to learn and understand what it means to sit on their own, or you are possibly just hurriedly taking something from them instead of attempting to teach them to hand something over by asking them to give it to you.

I also find that parents have become lazy with their teaching, relying on pictures in books. I find that my tot learns better if she can see and feel the word that I am trying to teach her. Taking some time out to explore your local park instead of just sending the kids straight to the jungle gym to run around can give them insight to what the words you are trying to teach them really mean. A tree isn’t simply a brown and green bushy looking thing in a book, it’s a big, living thing that has bark and leaves and all sorts of creatures living in it. When we take that time to explore the words instead of just reading and looking at them in books, we open up the possibility of toddlers learning new words that connect with those they may already know and we will rapidly see their vocabulary expand.

So parents, talk to your babies. Don’t just “googoo gaga” at them, help them learn. I can only hope that one day I will be walking in the store, overhear a woman turning the corner that I believe is talking on her cell phone only to see her conversing with her baby, not just strolling with her little one in complete silence. Silence doesn’t teach.