Let's face it. There are two reasons you'd want to use a vibrator: because you are a gadget-lover who can't imagine anything, including sex, without a little technology involved; or because you just want to have an orgasm, and fast. But with the Crave Vesper, there is a third possibility.


Fancy San Francisco vibrator maker Crave has created what I believe is the first-ever vibrator that doubles as a piece of awesome jewelry. Yes, we've seen decorative sex toys before. There are fancy dildos made from blown glass and beautiful, non-representational vibes that look like something Beverly Crusher would have used in the porno version of Sickbay on the Enterprise. But these are not wearable items. The Vesper is. It's fashioned to resemble a slim, 3.5-inch-long stainless steel nail, and it looked great matched with a plain black dress I wore out to dinner the other night.

So first of all, the Vesper works as jewelry. The power button is tiny and subtle. It also requires a firm push to turn on, so it won't accidentally start vibrating—even if you're out dancing and it's flopping around. So nobody is going to figure out you're wearing a sex toy unless you tell them. Which, come to think of it, is actually a great idea if you're trying to get laid and want to figure out whether your date likes vibrators. Or if you're at a naughty party and want an excuse to wave your vibrator around.


I have to admit I was pretty dubious that a tiny, slim vibe like the Vesper could be anything other than a novelty item. But it actually delivers nice, strong vibrations, with three speeds and a pulsating option, and its shape is perfect for localized vibrational transfer if you know what I mean. You can recharge the batteries via USB (using a proprietary cable), and the small form factor means that the motor actually heats up the entire vibe, which is a pretty nice feature.

I tested out the Vesper in a variety of situations, and I'd say it's more of a "share with your pal to enhance sexytime" toy rather than a "goddamn it just give me an orgasm in five seconds because I have like ten minutes between meetings and ... whew" type. For the latter, you've always got your trusty Magic Wand or Silver Bullet.

But if you want to bring some beautiful tech into an already-sexy situation, there is nothing better than this subtle little vibe. Plus, tiny motors make everything better. It is a known fact.


The battery life on the Vesper is great. It will definitely last you through at least two play sessions—even if you are taking your time.


At $70, the Vesper isn't cheap — but that's a fairly reasonable price for a high-end vibe, especially one that actually works as advertised (a rarity among stunt toys like this). It comes in three colors: gold, rose gold and silver, each with matching necklaces. I wasn't thrilled with the quality of the necklace chain that came with mine, but that's easily swapped out.

Also, a word of warning. The Vesper is what's known to aficionados as a clitoral vibrator. That means it's for using on the outside, not the inside. It's way too slim to do much for your vadge—and ferchrissake don't stick this up your butt. It's tiny and easily lost and heats up, which are all Very Bad Things for your colon and will land you in the emergency room.


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It works really well as a cool necklace, and is subtle enough that nobody will know you're wearing a sex toy unless you want them to.


Three speeds plus pulse make this a fully-functioning vibrator.

Localizes sensation in a pleasing way.

Stainless steel is easily cleaned and sterilized.

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The necklace chain is flimsy, so you'll want to replace it with something nicer.

The Vesper is advertised as completely quiet, but it's still possible to hear it buzzing across a medium-sized room. Of course, if you're using it in the bathroom at a nightclub, it will seem completely quiet. So carry on.


Should You Buy It?

This is the kind of vibrator that's perfect for adventurers who are brazen—or for ones who are subtle. For the brazen, it's great for impromptu public sex (what—you haven't done that?), naughty parties, and showing off. But for the subtle, wearing it can be a way to signal to your partner that this nice dinner will end with a very special kind of gadget benchmarking. Wearing it without anyone but your partner knowing is also its own kind of delicious reward.


This is the kind of vibrator that would make for a fun present to share with your toy-loving partner, especially if you want to surprise them with the extra powers hidden in the cool necklace you bought.

As I said earlier, I wouldn't recommend it as your emergency go-to orgasm maker. Sure, it will give you desired results—but it's not really designed for speed and efficiency. So buy it for fun and delight, but don't expect to keep it in your nightstand for everyday use. [Crave]