Hillary Clinton is a Nasty, Two-Faced Political Monster ❤️

By Joe Starr | Politics | October 19, 2016 |

Over the course of her thirty years of public service, one thing is particularly clear: Democratic Presidential nominee Hillary Clinton is an icy, calculated monster of a woman.

And that’s exactly why she has my vote.

Seriously, why does everyone who insists that Clinton is a cold two-faced viper consider those bad traits for the President of the United States? Washington DC is a den of lying snakes and that’s not gonna change, so voting for Queen Bitch Viper (whose platform is entirely things that I want to see passed in my country) seems like a pretty good fucking idea to me.

Clinton has proven again and again that she is an unstoppable machine. She’s Skynet in a power suit. The woman who told the finance sector in a speech that a politician needs to have both a public position and and private position isn’t a two-faced crook. She’s a Good Hill Hunting level chess player. She knows the end game and she knows how to get there.

Hillary is an ambitious sociopath who will do whatever it takes to accomplish her goals. You know who she sort of reminds me of? A Donald Trump that isn’t a fucking idiot or a complete failure at everything he does. Maybe that’s why his supporters hate her so much. She’s the real deal; the kind of run-and-gun business woman with mercenary sensibilities that Trump could only dream of being.

But how could I say she reminds me of Trump and still follow her into battle?

Because I don’t dislike the qualities that Trump keeps insisting he has. I have no problem with a ruthless business person fighting for what they want and calling out the system. The problem with Trump is that he is a sham. A charlatan without the resolve of a Gordon Gekko or the charm of a monorail salesman. Clinton, more than anyone, truly recognizes the challenges ahead of us. She knows that the leads are weak. But she recognizes that third place is you’re fired.

And so she’s gonna shit on whoever she needs to to make the deals she needs to make to be a success for our country. Jill Stein won’t do that. Stein seems to think she can just get everyone to do a few summer camp trust falls and boom, nationalized healthcare. Even Bernie Sanders, for all his strengths and perceived lack of skeletons, doesn’t strike me as willing to go full House of Cards to fight on our behalf. In our current climate, we need someone who keeps her knives sharp watching our backs.

Hillary Clinton is the T-800 if it could do all that weird think monologuing Benedict Cumberbatch does in Sherlock when he’s sherlocking. Watching Hillary at work, it’s suddenly so clear. She would never stop. She would always be there. Of all the would-be presidents who came and went over the years, this thing, this machine, was the only one who measured up. In an insane world, she is the sanest choice.

She’s Michael Corleone, Walter White, and every other male antihero who has the exact same qualities that we find admirable. Is it because we worship these characters in fiction, but the reality of them is uncomfortable? Not for me, ya’ll. The Godmother is coming and she wants to fix tax code loopholes.

Hillary is a brutal bitch. So don’t come at me with rants about how she’s no angel and the trail of bodies she’s left on her way to sit in an office to fight for an agenda I support. That’s exactly why I’m voting for her. Hillary Clinton knows what’s best in life: Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their Trump trains. I’m with her.