There is an anime on Netflix based off of my life called High Score Girl. I haven’t really seen it yet, but I’m sure it’s based off of my life… if I was a chick… an animated chick. But it’s about fighting games and I, myself, am a fighting game. It’s all I’ve ever known.

Don’t expect compete factual information in these posts but, anyways, on with the show.

Remember to also check WedNESday #1!

Fighting games always resonated with me. Mostly because it’s always about skill; you can’t manipulate your way to victory. At least, that’s how I’ve always seen it, I’m sure there are ways to cheat but I’ve never encountered it and even if I have, I’ve never used it as an excuse. Fighting games are two people testing their skills against one another and only one can be the winner. The winners continue to hone their craft for upcoming challengers and the losers continue to improve themselves to reach that next level and hopefully become the best. It’s a classic showing of putting in the work to reach your goal and have the satisfying result.

So, there I was as a kid, learning the inner workings of the world through video games and I encountered some fighting games. My cousins had a Sega Saturn and a copy of Street Fighter II. The first thing to pop into my mind as I was learning the mechanics was this being the most amazing thing ever. It wasn’t about platforming to areas while fighting enemies and gaining power ups, I played plenty of those, it was simply about seeing who was the best and having a roster to prove it. It went from who was the best player to who was the best Ken player, and back and forth.

My cousins, however, didn’t stay forever. They, unfortunately, had a home of their own to go to. Also, I wouldn’t get a Sega console for a couple of years later and wouldn’t be able to borrow the game. Not like they would have let me anyway, but I’m not bitter. Not at all. So, I looked into my stash of NES games and I also had a Street Fighter game.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are filled with the upmost excitement but only for it to be followed by immediate disappointment? Yeah, this is that kind of story.

This wonderful game was called Street Fighter 2010: The Final Fight and it was everything I never wanted. Imagine a young, blond lad putting his cartridge inside—wait. That doesn’t read right. I placed the game into the NES expecting to hone my skills in Street Fighter and to be ready for when my cousins came back and to prepare to become a future EVO champion. This game has no right to be called Street Fighter and none of those things had an actual chance of happening.

So, what is Street Fighter 2010: The Final Fight? Prepare to regret that foolish question. Oh, and for others who are victims and have played this game, I’m really sorry.

A side scrolling platforming action game. Usually the game will show you at the start of the level who you are meant to eliminate, or what you are supposed to collect, and you go through the level to accomplish this. My mind may be a little fuzzy on it but I believe they had boss fights and levels where you had to outrun the stage. This was like a poor man’s Mega Man but a billion times worse. It lacks the charm, wit, and challenge those games have. Don’t get me wrong, this game is frustratingly hard. I never finished it. One of the very few games I decided, yeah no I’m good. Hmm.. maybe I’ll do a live stream or something. The game is a cheater, used to say that as kid and it surprisingly fits here. Like seriously though, it goes out of it’s way to offer the CPU the advantage and the player a disadvantage.

But, did you know, that only when it came out of Japan, they actually tried to have it connect with the classic Street Fighter games? Hopefully Did You Know Gaming doesn’t come after me for borrowing their stick. Anyway, the game’s plot is what I would actually be down to see in an actual film. Why? Because it’s like a mix between RoboCop and Terminator, sprinkled with Legally Blonde. Yes, that may be a stretch but, hey, this is my world and we all just float in it.

So Ken, right, he’s retired from winning Street Fighter tournaments and has cybernetic implants now that he’s a scientist in the year 2010. Yeah, I know! Who came up with this? Why aren’t we best friends? Anyway, planet travel is done via interplanetary warp gates (so, so cool) and Ken, with the help of partner Troy, has developed something called Cyboplasm.

BUT! DRAMATIC MUSIC!

Ken returns to his lab to see the Cyboplasm has been stolen and Ry—I mean Troy has been murdered. Ken, with his bionics and other Sci-fi sounding words from the late 80’s and early 90’s, decides to travel through space and time to avenge his murder. I played this game in ’96, I was 6 years old and had ZERO idea this was the plot. Probably because I had PTCD at the time. That’s Post Traumatic Capcom Disorder. I get that every time Capcom let’s me down or they trick me. But, anyway, tell me you wouldn’t watch a flick with that plot point. If you said you would, you’re an intellectual and if you said you wouldn’t, you’re probably a PUBG player. Mic drop.

See? I don’t discriminate. Fortnite players rejoice!

So now you have to go play this game, it’s your destiny. Look at it this way. I’m your Troy, you’re my Ken, go avenge me in scientific platforming hell.

Shoddy controls? Ya betcha.

Unfair level design? You know it, girl!

But pressure makes diamonds and iron sharpens iron, so go and be sharp diamonds my Capcomers. Make Dad proud.