Warning: Here be series-wide spoilers!

PREVIOUSLY ON SURVIVOR: VANUATU…

LET’S GET THIS SHOW STARTED!

After Lopevi get back from Tribal Council, everyone is feeling comfortable with each other. So much so in fact, that whatsherface (ed- Julie!) is more than happy to snuggle up to Sarge’s crotch by the fire.

It’s now Day 19! And Chad and Chris are making fun of her blatant flirt tactics.

While sunbathing, Sarge is more than happy to indulge Julie when she makes a special request…

And that he does…

Even Twila gets in on the act!

However, Chris is not very impressed with the sight of a middle-aged man’s pasty white rear…

Over at Yasur, Rory is not impressed with Leann being all PMSy and lying around at camp all day.

He’s not done complaining yet! He moans about Eliza being useless and Ami being a lazy bum. It seems to me that men can get PMS too.

REWARD CHALLENGE!

It’s the Fire Fighter challenge! Winners get milk, cookies and chocolate cake.

Off we go!

It’s a pretty close race, and the need to use every drop is so extreme that Rory and Chris are ringing out wet clothing items into the buckets. Eventually…

Lopevi wins reward!

Everyone at Lopevi enjoy the spoils of their reward back at camp, well, everyone except Sarge, who seems to be having a major sugar comedown.

Twila is papping it because of Scout being so openly happy over the outcome of the last Tribal because she wants the guys to believe that she’s solid with them.

Interesting choice of words I’ve underlined there…

Meanwhile, Chris and Chad don’t seem to be the slightest bit worried about the two women, and instead discuss the possibility of Sarge being a major threat in the game, leading to one of the funniest foot-in-mouth moments courtesy of Chris…

They both shake their hands on a final two deal. However, Chris reveals that he’s done the same with the rest of the tribe. He’s got his game face on.

As the two tribes arrive for the Immunity Challenge, Jeff finds that Rory broke the Immunity Stick last episode, but remarks that they’re not going to need it anymore…

DROP YOUR BUFFS EVERYONE, BECAUSE IT’S A MOTHERFUCKING MERGE!

Everyone now gets new shiny orange buffs. They also decide to move to Lopevi’s old beach.

And with that out of the way…

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE!

It’s an obstacle course challenge. Everyone will be split into two rounds. There are three flags to retrieve. The first two to finish in each round will move onto the final round. Winner of the final round wins immunity.

Off we go!

Round 1 – Julie, Eliza, Leann, Chris and Sarge.

Sarge and Eliza move onto the final round!

Round 2 – Rory, Chad, Twila, Scout and Ami.

Rory and Ami move onto the final round!

Final Round – Sarge, Eliza, Rory and Ami.

Sarge wins immunity!

The merged tribe arrive at the old Lopevi camp, and the merge feast is there waiting for them.

Rory is particular is real happy to be reunited with the surviving Fat Five members, and wastes no time in selling out Ami to them.

It’s now Day 21! And the merged tribe have now settled on a name: Alinta (meaning “people of fire”, Scout claims it’s a local word but I’ve read that it’s made up). And they have a cool tribe flag.

The girls start indulging in some body painting, and the guys get concerned…

Just as well, because Twila and Julie, the two women who the guys were banking on, start throwing Rory’s name out.

The guys desperately try to coddle Twila, and think they’ve done enough to keep her and Julie on side. Ami however, firmly believes it’s still WOMAN STRONK!!!

TRIBAL COUNCIL!

After the newly christened Alinta tribe take their seats, they discuss their body painting escapades, the highlight being Julie’s tribute to our favourite host…

Jeff asks Leann if she would’ve preferred being on separate tribes. She talks about how far they’ve all made it and that things will now get fun, interesting and screw-y.

Rory talks about how he struggled at NuYasur and has been given a second chance in the game.

Jeff then asks Ami is she thought she would make it this far. Of course she says yes.

Jeff talks about how the merge vote is a very pivotal vote. He then asks Twila about her position. She says that she is very much stuck in the middle and this decision will be tough for her.

It’s time to vote!

Let’s read the votes! Who’s going to be this season’s robbed merge boot?

Nooo! Farewell Rory, we were truly robbed of a potentially epic jury speech.

A little easter egg for you guys: I usually don’t mention Jeff’s final words, but in this episode he talks about about how we’re now in the jury stage of the game, and immediately after he says “one of you will win a million dollars”, who does the camera cut to?

See you guys for episode 9!