JEREMY Corbyn has been given all the government’s Brexit paperwork and is now responsible for the whole thing.

Theresa May tipped nine boxes of key documents over the Labour leader’s garden gate before climbing back into a hired van and ordering Philip Hammond to ‘fucking go’.

Corbyn said: “I did hear a noise but assumed it was just hedgehogs, who I feed without expecting anything in return because I believe in society.

“But there’s paperwork all over the garden, floating in the pond, tangled in my rambling rose, in a hell of a state.

“I don’t know how to do all this. I’m going to take it down to Citizen’s Advice and get them to help me with it. What happens if we miss the deadline?”

An EU spokesman said: “For the love of God, will you please sort your fucking selves out?”