Sometimes the news just fills you with ineffable sadness. If it’s not the nuclear threat from North Korea, the crimes of Cardinal Pell, dead celebrities and environmental vandals, it’s the news that the Jatz has been voted as Australia’s best biscuit, beating the likes of the Kingston, Monte Carlo, Venetian, Tiny Teddy, Shapes, Scotch Finger and – truly – the Tim Tam.

Jatz takes the biscuit prize ... but what is it without the assistance of cheese?

The Northern Territory News – that champion of croc stories, outback oddities and Walkley-winning headlines such as “Why I Stuck A Cracker Up My Clacker” – threw down the gauntlet when it urged the public to vote for Australia’s top 10 favourite biscuits.

The news that Jatz won has caused outrage. One wit called it “the worst vote since Brexit”.

I am personally outraged. Firstly, isn’t the Jatz actually a cracker, not a biscuit? Shouldn't it have been disqualified from the outset? Shouldn't The NT News stick its cracker where its own headline writers might suggest?