April 20th, also known as "4/20", is world-renowned as the unofficial holiday to smoke weed and celebrate all things marijuana-related. While even writing out such a banal sentiment makes me feel like the narc-i-est of narcs, it's important to establish the date up top -- because if you're as stoned as I think you are while reading this, then the next part might get confusing.

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It is 4/20 all month this year. Do you follow? Because when this was first pointed out to me I felt a little lost too. That doesn't mean every day is going to be April 20. It means that this is the 4th month of the year 2020. That's 4/20. And yeah, you can say "Well, actually, isn't today 4/2/20?" And yes, you'd be right ... You'd also be a dumb dildo. Come on, the world is falling apart. We need this one.

Little victories might be the only thing we have right now to get us through these troubling times and we should celebrate them even if they're super dumb or we have to make them up. The 69th day of the year was March 9th and we already missed that. "Boobs" upside down on a calculator is 5/80/05 and, due to a gross lack of foresight by our ancestors, that's a date on the calendar which doesn't even exist. 4/20 all month might be all we have for a very long time.

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So, if you do partake, and the realization of a month-long dank-a-thon makes you weep bong water tear, then just remember to celebrate responsibly. Don't share your pens, vapes, bongs, joints or hollowed-out Virgin Mary Apples. If you can help it, you're probably better off not smoking at all, as COVID-19 mainly impacts the lungs. Try to relegate yourself to edibles and tinctures and remember to pace yourself. A human can only take so many bad/amazing Netflix movies in one sitting. And, for the love of God, just cause isolating this whole 4/20 doesn't mean you can't take a shower.

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