Pride runs deep at St. Michael’s College School.

Pride in its academic rigour. Pride in its athletic triumphs. Pride in its students’ success. Pride in its alumni, which includes a roster of distinguished academics, athletes, business executives, diplomats, doctors, journalists, lawyers, politicians and yes, often singled out, NHL players and builders.

But alas, pride has its limits.

St. Mike’s is not a safe place for students to come out. The culture of masculinity, in the traditional meaning of the word, is strong. This culture is reinforced by the overrepresentation of top performing athletes, primarily in hockey. And we all know what men’s hockey culture is like – how many openly gay NHL players can you name?

I joined St. Mike’s 15 years ago full of optimism and excitement, and honoured that the school did all it could to have me accept admittance. They generously offered full bursary over my four years there given my parents’ modest income, for which I am forever grateful. No, it was not an athletic scholarship.

My enthusiasm was quickly checked. One of my Grade 9 teachers mildly mocked gay relationships. In the grand scheme of things, it was a rather benign insult, or so I thought. To this day, I can still point out the classroom where this took place and distinctly remember forcing myself to laugh along with everyone else so I wouldn’t be singled out.

Other teachers took a more academic approach to their homophobia. Some of them are still there and I can only hope they have changed.

I decided early on that I would not come out while a student there. A notable decision on my part, considering I have long been aware and comfortable with my sexual identity throughout my childhood, and came out to my parents when I was 13.

I eventually tweaked my early decision. Despite the culture among students and views expressed by some of the faculty, I would find allies among educators through their positive words. I received encouragement from those who I confided in with my secret and felt a sense of security.

I was fortunate that I did not experience any physical violence at the hands of my peers. My fear of violence, should I be outed, was always in the back of my mind.

It was not until I was in Grade 12 when I felt comfortable enough to come out to my small, close group of friends at St. Mike’s. I felt liberated and relief to find strong support.

After we graduated, one of them betrayed my trust. Many members of our graduating class found out. A boy from the hockey clique thought it would be funny to start a conversation with me on MSN Messenger and pretend to be gay in order to collect my sexual preferences. Nice try.

I rejoined the ranks of the school as a staff member toward the end of my undergraduate years. While there, a group of progressive Basilian Fathers, the Roman Catholic order of priests who run St. Mike’s, decided to ignite meaningful conversations about homosexuality at the school.

Brian Burke, former Toronto Maple Leafs president and general manager, was brought in to speak to an assembly of students. Burke shared a message of eradicating homophobia in sports, continuing the activism of his late son, Brendan, on LGBTQ issues. I was heartened by the many students who were receptive to the message and dismayed by the sizable group of students who expressed opposition.

As far as I know, those attempts to change the culture have fizzled since I left St. Mike’s in 2012. I suspect that changes among the administration, faculty, and staff that took place after I left contributed to the lack of continuity.

During my combined years as a student and staff member, I can personally count on one hand the number of boys who decided to come out widely to their peers while a student.

It is past time for St. Mike’s to have a broad and far-reaching conversation about LGBTQ issues at the school, and to build a safe space for gay students. The horrendous case of sexual assault that took place against a student, which had homophobic undertones, and other shameful acts of violence, necessitates action.

The school announced that it is launching a “Respect and Culture Review,” which will explore “the traditions, rituals, and social practices of students at every grade level and in all areas of school life.”

Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading...

At an alumni meeting recently held by the school to discuss the events, a brave alumnus stood up to ask if the school would form a gay-straight alliance for students. Principal Greg Reeves responded affirmatively.

These are all positive steps. But with recommendations from the review not expected until spring 2019 at the earliest and implementation not planned until September 2019, current gay students will continue to be left behind in the shadows. They will be left to continue to fear violence, threats, and verbal insults should they be outed or otherwise targeted.

These students deserve a St. Mike’s that will swiftly create a safe environment where they can be open, if they choose to be, and thrive without fear. The entire school community has a collective, moral obligation to stand by their side.