HUNTSVILLE, Alabama -- Afraid you'll miss the show when the satellite hurtles into the Earth's atmosphere this week and pieces might plummet to the ground?

As the scalper signs outside stadiums inquire, "Got Tickets?"

Through the magic that is eBay, for a mere $750 apiece, you can buy what are proclaimed "Space Satellite UARS Falling From Orbit FRONT ROW SEAT TICKETS."

The Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite (UARS), launched from the space shuttle Discovery in 1991, is headed home sometime this week. The bus-sized satellite has 26 potentially hazardous parts expected to survive re-entry.

The eBay tickets are the work of either (a) the most cleverly generous benefactor you've ever heard of, (b) the boldest scalper in history, (c) one of the world's great cynics, or (d) all the above.

It's generous, because the proceeds will be donated to the U.S. Space & Rocket Center as part of the eBay Giving Works program, where some $227 million has been raised for nonprofits.

It's bold, because there's not really any front row seating. Who knows when and where any satellite wreckage might fall?

"It is too early to say exactly when UARS (Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite) will re-enter and what geographic area may be affected," said the NASA website Tuesday afternoon.

It's cynical, as noted in the explanation on the eBay site for item No. 290612017757:

"All Purchases Will Be Donated To NASA For Them To Buy New Computers! With Them New Quad Core Computers They Can Install Software That Can Calculate When And Where Their 750 Million Dollar (satellite) Will Land And Destroy Every Thing In Its Path."

NASA would remind you, however, "there have been no confirmed reports of an injury resulting from re-entering space objects. Nor is there a record of significant property damage resulting from a satellite re-entry."

The satellite itself is not up for bid, though the seller does note that it's a $750 million, 6.5-ton piece of machinery with a scrap metal value of $1,061.

All the cynicism aside, the anonymous seller has brought many giggles and much appreciation in the hallways of the Space & Rocket Center.

"I'd love to know who it is," says strategist Tim Hall, "just so I could say thanks."

Executive director Jennifer Crozier says "it's hilarious and I hope they sell."

Crozier suspects "it's somebody that knows us. They're selling this for $750, and that's the cost of a Space Camp scholarship, and I don't think that's coincidence."

"It's somebody who loves Space Camp and looking for a way to help," Hall says.

Surprise. The anonymous donor responded to my eBay inquiry late Tuesday night. He doesn't have a connection to Space Camp, but read the story of the tumbling satellite "and thought this would be funny."

He said he was "just glad I'm not going to get in trouble."

Space Camp has benefited before from eBay Giving Works, mostly when people are selling space-related items.

"But not," Crozier says, "for something that doesn't exist."

"We Will Likely Have The Most Expensive Light Show In History Guinness Book Of World Records Here We Come!" the seller says.

What's the Guinness record, you wonder, for the price of tickets for a front row that doesn't exist?

Contact Mark McCarter at mark.mccarter@htimes.com or follow him on Twitter @markmccarter.