• It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. Not to get morbid on you, or anything, but I guess this means pushing a dead moose out of an airplane is fair game. And a live moose out of a moving train is cool, too.

• Moose may not be viewed from an airplane. So when you're taking that aerial tour of the Alaskan countryside, close your eyes the whole time in order to remain in full compliance with the law.

What is it with moose and airplanes?

• In Fairbanks, it is an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose. But what if it's just one of those teeny-weenie bottles of booze that you get on an airplane? If you're really going to go all outlaw, at least get the guy drunk before you push him out of the airplane.

• It is illegal to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting. Next time I go moose hunting in Alaska, I'll be sure to shout to my partner, "LOOK, there's a MOOSE!"

• No moose is allowed to have sex on city streets. Good luck preventing that.

• It is perfectly legal to shoot bears, but waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited. So if you do want that great photograph, just don't go for the kill shot.

• In Anchorage, no one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car. Well, that's a relief.

• In Juneau, flamingo owners may not let their pet flamingo into a barber shop. So what do the flamingos do when they need a haircut? Now we have all these hippie long-haired flamingos running around town. They're going to have to pass a law about that.

• It is illegal to eat live eels in public unless you shout "warning! Idiot eating eels!" beforehand. I can't. I just don't know.

Thanks for stopping by!