Brendan Rodgers has labelled Celtic midfielder Scott Brown the Scottish Iniesta. The Irishman was addressing the media following his appointment as Head Coach of the Glasgow club.

Outstanding

“Scotty has outstanding character,” the former Liverpool manager told Soccer on Sunday. “The similarities with Iniesta are endless. For example, they both play football for a living and neither has much hair. Twins, really.”

“My job will be to make sure Scotiesta has the tools around him,” he added. “I’ve texted Joe Allen to tell him that the food up here is less toxic than people think, and the weather mostly only kills pensioners. Imagine linking the Welsh Xavi with the Scottish Iniesta? Goosebumps!”

“I can’t wait to get started,” added Rodgers. “Step one is to gather the squad for my 3 envelopes trick. I tell them that each envelope has the name of someone who’ll let us down. The secret? The envelopes are empty! Doesn’t make a lick of sense, but that little doozy nearly won me the Premier League in 2014.”

Brown

Brown admits to being flattered.

“The Scotiesta thing?” he told Soccer on Sunday. “It’s nice, of course. The gaffer popped around yesterday too. Kissed both my cheeks but only shook my wife’s hand, which was odd. He hadn’t rung ahead, but he stayed for 16 hours. Just staring at me, telling me how important I am.”

“There was a whole couch free,” added Brown, “but he sat on the arm of my chair. It was a bit awkward, if I’m honest. At one point he said we’re soulmates, and that if one of us died we’d find each other in the next life. Not sure what any of this has to do with football, but I guess he has his ways.”

Iniesta

Barcelona legend Andres Iniesta is confused by the comparison with Brown.

“Scott Brown?” he asked Soccer on Sunday. “The Scottish me? No disrespect to Mr Brown, but David Brent is talking shite, as usual.”