Every single decision should be made on a basketball court. It is a simple-but-effective way to determine which person is better than another, and 99.999999999 percent of the time, there is no controversy as to which person is best. These things should range from the mundane (family disputes, arguments over where you’re going for dinner that night, etc.) to the most important question of them all: who should be the next president of the United States? I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I want a president who can’t lock someone down on defense and then hit a jumper right in their face. Since Draymond Green isn’t running for president anytime soon, we have to work with what we have right now. So some of us at UPROXX Sports got to thinking: which person who ran for president during the 2016 cycle is the best basketball player? We all discussed and debated and threw our support behind one person or another. Consider these full endorsements, not necessarily of a person’s ability to govern, but rather their ability to hit jumpers if preventing a war between the United States and Russia ever hinges on their ability to score on Vladimir Putin. Dave Lozo — Chris Christie Chris Christie is 53 years old, which makes him like a 21-year-old stud coming out of college compared to everyone else. He’s 5-foot-11 and probably around 350 pounds. Who is stopping him? He will back everyone under the basket with that ass and make 2-footers all day. Remember the scene in Hard Knocks when Vince Wilfork was burying jump shots? If Christie has any outside game he will be a Steph Curry/Patrick Ewing hybrid. The only way he would lose is if Donald Trump asked him, because they clearly have a Costanza/Dan Cortese relationship from that Seinfeld episode and Christie would take a dive for Trump. In a 1-on-1 half court game, barring a heart attack, Christie wins. Jack Winter — Martin O’Malley Martin O’Malley is long gone and was pretty anonymous to begin with, but he would have walked over all the presidential candidates of the 2016 cycle in a game of basketball. We’re not talking about 2012, of course, but maybe we should be. Did you guys hear that Paul Ryan does P90X? I mean, just look at this guy. If those photos don’t scream “athlete,” just which unintentionally satirical portraits would? President Obama’s lefty jumper probably isn’t half as smooth as it looks, anyway. I can’t pick among the remaining potential nominees; they’re all too aged or too Ted Cruz-ish. Kasich is probably a stronger choice than many realize, though. Ohio is is a low-key basketball hotbed, and that two-handed jumper, ugly as it is, went in as if it does at least 25 percent of the time. Ross Bentley — Martin O’Malley Of all of the people who ran this year, there is not a shadow of a doubt that Martin O’Malley would wipe the floor with everyone in basketball. I mean seriously, this dude would straight up destroy most of the 60+ year-old dudes (and lady) that ran this year. He looks like the guy at your Monday night church basketball league that is way better than you even though you’re 20 years younger. It’s infuriating.

In terms of the guys still in the race though, I’m going with Bernie Sanders. I mean just look at that jumper. That is a smooth stroke right there. Plus, you know Bernie is not adverse to throwing some elbows. It is basically a right of passage to be legally allowed to elbow anyone you want on a basketball court once you reach a certain age. The combination between that and his J would be plenty to propel him over the field. The real debate here, is who would win in a game of one-on-one between the two front-runners, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Trump is 6-foot-2 and should be able to just back her down, but something tells me he has never once played a sport in his life. Hillary on the other hand seems like she would be scrappy. Not afraid to mix it up in there. Still though, she would probably lose by a lot. Whitney McIntosh — Hillary Clinton It may be playing favorites at this point to go with the Democratic frontrunner, but I’m going with Hillary Clinton. No, it’s not just because we’re both women and everybody else left in the campaign is a mostly garbage human. Hillary seems like somebody who is sneaky good at certain sports and loves hustling competitors who underestimate her because of the penchant for pantsuits. She definitely used to challenge Bill to late-night basketball games in the White House as a way to get him to stop playing his saxophone or to decide who had to go to the next parent-teacher conference at Chelsea’s school. It’s not hard to imagine Bill getting all cocky and dialing up the smack talk as he went up a quick two or three points. But once Hillary gets warmed up, she’s not afraid to hurt feelings and make her opponent pay for their mistakes. It’s 10-3 in the blink of an eye and Hillary’s laughing as she sinks the winning shot. In the ’90s she might have won with speed and agility, but as she’s aged she opts for pure dribbling skills and finesse. I can see it now. Hillary hitting mid-range jumpers with a wink. Hillary pretending to have turned an ankle only to pivot and bank an easy layup. She may not have the height of Donald Trump (his tiny hands can’t properly handle a regulation sized basketball) or the youth of Marco Rubio (disqualified due to the fact that he clearly can’t handle any sort of legitimate trash talk) but she’s spent years dealing with hot-headed men who underestimate her abilities. Nothing like proving everyone wrong by schooling them in a game of one-on-one. Plus, who can deny the candidate who is known to be friends with Kareem AND Magic? One of the perks of being first lady is private games of knockout and HORSE with two of the greatest Lakers of all time are not out of the question. The only other candidate I wouldn’t count out is Libertarian (previously Democratic) nominee Vermin Supreme. He’s crafty, has enough balance to walk around with a boot on his head all the time, and I once saw the guy run a short sprint with some serious getup. Hey, you never know! Bansky — Ted Cruz In a perfect world this is how we would decide every election, LeBron James would be finishing up his term after his dominating victory in 2012, and Ayesha Curry would be looking for dresses to wear at Steph Curry’s inauguration in January. Unfortunately, we don’t live in that world and this hypothetical is only open to actual presidential candidates so we have to examine the two most important factors here: age and height. See ya Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton, because anybody playing basketball with real stakes at 74 scares me and hoops can’t be good for Bernie’s ligaments. As for Hillary, 5-foot-7 isn’t ideal and coupled with her being 68, she’s eliminated as well.