When you need to shut someone down or you’re being taken advantage of, “No” is a complete and appropriate answer. But if you want to build a healthy relationship with a coworker, leader, or industry peer, you might want to rethink that one-word sentence. Relationships can involve give and take, and using the word “no” by itself can be dangerous, says Shaun Belding, author of The Journey to WOW .

“The ‘no reflex’ instantly creates an argumentative position,” he says. “It’s a negative message that says you’re not interested in trying. You’re too busy—not a team player. I can’t imagine a worse message to send to a colleague or boss. The next time you need help, you may not get it.”

While you won’t always be able to give people what they ask for or want, you can phrase your response in a better way. “The problem is when somebody’s default position is ‘no,'” he says. “We all know people, who, when you ask them a question, the very first thing out of their mouth is ‘no.’ That can give you a reputation as being somebody that’s negative.”

An offshoot of “no” is “yeah, but,” says Belding. “It’s at the root of every argument,” he says. “Somebody says, ‘Hey, here’s a great idea,’ and you say, ‘Yeah, but.’ It’s the same as ‘no.'”

“No” and “yeah, but” can make a conversation feel like a confrontation. Belding’s company The Belding Group provides services that monitor call centers, listening to the recordings of customer interactions. “Call centers will have a negative incident with a customer who becomes angry and audibly upset, and it becomes worse and worse, but the vast majority didn’t start that way,” he says. “When you rewind the call, you can find the exact moment it went sideways. It’s when emotions turn negative and are lit on fire. It’s almost always when somebody says ‘no’ or ‘yeah, but.’ Those are negative trigger words.”

What to do instead

Before you say, “No,” look for a more productive approach to your answer; there’s no reason not to help someone get what they need, says Belding. Include a qualifier to your response. For example, “I can’t do that, but here’s what I can do.” Or, “I wish I could, let’s try this instead.”

“When you say things like, ‘I wish I could,’ you show empathy,” says Belding. “You’re letting that person know you care about them.”