I considered not doing this review altogether. I am not a fan of Green Day although some of their classic albums like American Idiot and Basket Case are good. I say good because I do not see them as the “perfect classic” many like to praise it with. Sure their lyrical concepts were sharp and rebellious, but I always felt underwhelmed by their recycling of the same chords and structures. Lack of diversity and new ideas continued more prominently with their newer albums like the infamous ¡Uno!, ¡Dos!, and ¡Tré! catastrophe and the white-washed Revolution Radio. But, I took the time to listen to Father of All… on a long car ride that felt even longer because of it. I mine as well write this, even if I make Green Day stans piss themselves.

Why was this made? What happened? I know I already ranted about their lack of diversity and ideas, but it’s like they doubled down and fully extracted any remaining qualities Green Day has held by a string. There is one potential excuse in fairness. That being they had to release one last album under the Warner Records label and this is a “protest”. There are definitely better ways to approach this rather than taking a shit on rock music and further solidifying the frivolous statement “rock is dead” that has been thrown left and right for what feels like a decade. I cannot decide whether the promotion was hilariously ignorant or jaw-droppingly pretentious and showing that rock fans are trapped in an echo chamber where anything outside of the standard three instruments of rock music is “unauthentic” and “takes no talent”. “No Features; No Swedish Songwriters; No Trap Beats; 100% Pure Uncut Rock”. How can any self-respecting music fan not cringe so hard they develop neverending bruxism from this sign?

Where do I even begin? How do I even begin? At this point I feel like a self-parody with the overload of questions, but that’s all my mind produces when hearing this. Father of All… is so painfully abysmal that all the issues I have consistently show up everywhere across the 26 minute run-time that drags on for what feels like an hour. This arises from the tedious instrumentals. Little to no mix-ups in the guitar riffs. Plus the guitar riffs remain within a very small range causing songs to fuse together, and not in a good way. Take “Stab You in the Heart” which just goes up a four note chord trying to imitate a beach rock vibe embarrassingly. “I Was a Teenage Teenager” and “Sugar Youth” remind heavily of riffs I’ve heard before – probably from them – that I just cannot put my finger on. I get going back to the basics, but that doesn’t mean including ONLY BASICS.

That brings us to the drumming which is as simple and bland as it gets. What annoys me the most is the overdone percussion pattern [1 + – – 3] that is done with stick clicking and clapping on three songs (“Fire, Ready, Aim”, “Meet Me on the Roof”, “Stab You in the Heart”). It’s a poor attempt at getting people engaged and having them clap along. The patterns could be on more tracks, but I cannot take the time to try to hear through the overcompressed production. Whenever Green Day is not meandering on a tiresome idea, they’re exploding the instrumentals into a whitewashed shitshow. Instruments have no chance to breathe. When we do get a little bit more clarity, the songs become criminally tedious and one of the instruments become overbearing, especially the percussion on “Junkies on a High”.

Alright, enough with the instrumentals. They were always my main issue with Green Day anyways. Does Billie Joe Armstrong offer some compelling vocal performances and insightful lyrics with punk flare? Nope, not at all. Instead we get embittering pandering that can’t decide on which demographic to focus on. We get songs pandering to the left like “Father of All…” which adds nothing to the conversation and just reiterates what many of said before them in a pseudo-edgy manner. “Oh Yeah!” is another song within this vein attempting to attack gun violence, but the message is lost with the neausiating chants that once again try to wrap in the simple-minded by giving them a chance to join the song. They also try to tackle police brutality on “Graffitia” along with factories along the Rust Belt that were closed in a confusing and uninspiring manner. Such topics are great, but how one-dimensional Green Day’s presentation is shows they don’t have that punk mentality they pretend to. They’re a cheap knock-off of actual political anger.

The rest of Father of All… is general teen angst that is an amalgamation of awkward, cringe, and rehashing. Hoping to get a girl but scared of being too undesirable on “Meet Me on The Roof”. Hating school and trying to reimagine their teenage days as they hit puberty on “I Was a Teenage Teenager”. Getting high to hide from responsibilities on “Junkies on a High”. Threatening to stab your wife because of their infidelity on “Stab You in the Heart”. It just screams “grrrr, hormones” in a diluted fashion that isn’t made any better by the abysmal vocal performances. Awkward vocal lines that get raspy without the viscera needed for such a style like on “Fire, Ready, Aim” and “Take the Money and Crawl”. Splashed on vocal effects punt the album down another peg by making Billie Joe Armstrong’s voice leap from uninspiring to grating. Seriously, what in the nine hells is happening on especially “Father of All…” and “Take the Money and Crawl”? The effects aren’t anywhere close to adding the angst they are attempting, so it’s pretty damn confusing what the thought process behind them are.

If there is anything I got from Green Day’s Father of All… it’s that rock may actually be dead and dad rock is still a viable path for attention. I always try to dig for ANYTHING that is likeable in every album I review; even if that is just being inoffensive. There is nothing I find likeable here. It goes beyond boring me and becomes frustrating that a group that is beloved by so many people brought dumbed-down genericness that is embarrassing to music as a whole. Avoid this unless you want time to slow down as you sink into the quicksand of mediocrity Father of All… is.

Favorite Tracks: No thank you

Rating: 0/10

Released: 02/07/2020

Label: Reprise Records

Genres: Pop Punk, Garage Rock, “No Features, No Swedish Songwriters, No Trap Beats, 100% Pure Uncut Rock”

Remember this is all my opinion and I would like to hear yours. Music is overall subjective which allows for great discussions and the chance to learn about music and your own personal taste in music. Make sure to subscribe to the blog for notifications of new reviews, and keep being a music nerd.

RATING SCALE

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