Man Who Complained About Big Bash Length Feeling Existentially Empty Now It’s Over

Returning home from his lectures on Tuesday afternoon, local cricket fan Greg Howcroft flicked the TV on briefly before switching it off again.

In his mind, the vacuous reality stars from the commercial networks are already sublimating into a single black hole devoid of human intellect, while the ABC’s gritty British crime dramas are merging with the endless repeats of Michael Portillo’s train docos on the SBS to form a kind of never ending Murder on the Orient Express. Onward it chugs, the passengers yelling out to stationary bystanders to call them “fake”.

It has only been 2 days since the BBL final.

Greg would normally deal with such an absence by complaining about various aspects of the tournament to his housemates, but this is no longer an option, partly because the tournament is over, and partially because they no-longer want to speak to him.

“It was too long”, he tells himself, gazing at the ceiling, checking his phone, making a cup of tea, cleaning the kitchen a second time. Perhaps self-improvement is the answer? After 3 hours he reads enough of Camus to conclude that the BBL is absurd, but he still feels the emptiness of its passing.

In his desperation Greg is currently planning to watch and complain about AFL X.