So here’s the story: The good judge Jephthah was facing down a huge battle, and he was freaking the fuck out. He turned to Jehovah, and made this promise at Judges 11:30,31:

30 Then Jeph′thah made a vow+ to Jehovah and said: “If you give the Am′mon·ites into my hand, 31 then whoever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the Am′mon·ites will become Jehovah’s,+ and I will offer that one up as a burnt offering.”+

We know how the story ended. The battle was won by Jephthah’s men, and on the way out, who would come to meet them but Jephthah’s daughter. He sez:

35 When he saw her, he ripped his garments and said: “Oh no, my daughter! You have broken my heart,* for you have become the one I have banished. Now I have opened my mouth to Jehovah, and I am unable to turn back.”+

[…]

39 At the end of two months, she returned to her father, after which he carried out the vow he had made regarding her.+ She never had relations with a man. And it became a custom* in Israel: 40 From year to year, the young women of Israel would go to give commendation to the daughter of Jeph′thah the Gil′e·ad·ite four days in the year.

This is a story that’s used to show how important paying your vows to Jehovah is. Do what he says, even when it hurts you to do it. We remember Jephthah’s daughter to this day, so everything worked out!

Except for one little detail: They leave out the most important part that completely contradicts what the rest of the Bible supposedly teaches.

Notice that last verse and the specific wording used in the New World Translation:

the young women of Israel would go to give commendation to the daughter of Jeph′thah

However, other translations don’t put it the same way. What do they say exactly?

English Standard:

that the daughters of Israel went year by year to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite four days in the year.

New International Version:

that each year the young women of Israel go out for four days to commemorate the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite.

The Message:

the young women of Israel went out to mourn for the daughter of Jephthah

Wycliffe:

that after the end of the year the daughters of Israel come together, and bewail the daughter of Jephthah of Gilead (for) four days.

Notice a lot of mourning? That seems awful strange if Jephthah’s daughter was just sent for service at the tabernacle, right?

Except for one thing: Read Jephthah’s promise again: “I will offer that one up as a burnt offering.”

Jephthah sent his daughter to be sacrificed.

Now, some commentators believe that Jepthah’s daughter… GAH. I’m tired of calling her “Jephthah’s daughter.” I’m calling her “Kitty.”

So anyway, some commentators believe that Kitty was sent for tabernacle service instead or sent into solitude, but that’s not what the Bible says. There’s a great translation which I wish I could find right now that explains which word should be used there, and it ain’t “commend.”

Of course, though, we can’t have a story where Jehovah praises someone who sacrifices his kids. (Or can we?) Therefore, we have to justify, and cajole, and massage the truth so that Jehovah doesn’t look like a raging dick.

A few other scattered points: Shouldn’t tabernacle service be a joyful service? Why would there be cause for crying? Isn’t service to Jehovah always great? If tabernacle service is so wonderful, why did Kitty cry like crazy? Shouldn’t she have joyfully accepted what God gave her? Also, this type of sacrifice is a bit of a motif in ancient literature. I present to you the story of Idomeneus. Apparently, Jehovah and Poseidon have the same likes and dislikes. Who knew?