Reason #1 why Marko hasn’t scored: waxy hands.

You’ve heard of the John Madden curse.

But there is now a new curse in the sports world and it involves a new marriage, a Victoria’s Secret model and an NBAer.

To put it bluntly, Marko Jaric has yet to score since putting a ring on Adriana Lima’s finger.

That’s right, 0-14 from the field, 0-3 from 3-point range, and 7 turnovers in 45 minutes played over 5 contests. Not good for a guy who hadn’t gone pointless in five straight games this season.

Maybe it’s time to rethink this marriage thing. Or not. Mark gets his chance to drop a few baskets tonight at 8 pm as the Griz takes on OKC.

After the jump, 13 more reasons Marko has yet to score.

Reason #2: Can’t see anything but white.

Reason #3: Her breakfasts suck.

Reason #4: Early morning sex leaves him drousy the rest of the day.

Reason #5: Can’t resist puppy eyes over practing jumpers.

Reason #6: wood.

Reason #7: She makes enough money for him to quit working.

Reason #8: Her hot friends are distracting.

Reason #9: All he can keep thinking of is “this is forever.”

Reason #10: Boobs! All mine! Get this damn game over with!

Reason #11: Charlie Horses.

Reason #12: Spent energy ripping off intricate lingerie.

Reason #13: Sex > actual NBA game.

Reason #14: Marko can’t get mind off what’s waiting for him at front door.

Alternative Adriana Reading:

Ms. Lima now able to give it up to Marko [Epic Carnival]