No, in no way did someone forget to rota someone on for today’s Mill, meaning today’s heap of tittle-tattle is even more hastily presented than usual. Not at all.

“I would never say no or yes.” That’s right, it’s a definitive, cast-iron Harry Kane come-and-get-me-plea, putting Real Madrid on red alert, 2+2=5s the Star.

Jack Harrison, in the news after being called up for the England U-21s via New York City FC, must therefore be due a move to former club Manchester United or fellow member of the City Football Group, Manchester City, report the Sun.

Ross Barkley, Tottenham, Everton, Januarzzzzz

Jupp Heynckes to return as Bayern Munich interim coach Read more

Feyenoord are understood to be interested in bringing Robin van Persie back to the Netherlands from Fenerbahce, while Javier Pastore could be a relative £26m bargain for Chelsea, Liverpool and Internazionale come the transfer window.

Reports in Spain, manna from heaven on a day such as this, suggest Real Madrid are looking to replace Gareth Bale with £40m worth of Milan’s Suso.

And the Poland international defender Bartosz Salamon – currently on loan at SPAL from Bologna – is eyeing up a move from Italy. Which means former suitors Leeds United are back in the conversation, baby.