3/9/2012 8:44:54 AM - Chubbs Stevey P, Will you Marry Me? I promise I not toooo chubby. Let’s run down the list of qualifications I require in a wife and see if you qualify.



1) You have to be a REAL woman, I've been tricked once before and I don't plan on it happening again.



2) You can't be fat, and with a name like "Chubby" I'm pretty sure you failed that test. Unless that's your actual Christian name I'm assuming it's your nickname, and if it is your nickname because you are a dude with a chubby for me please see qualification #1. And just so everyone doesn't think I'm totally shallow, I will accept a certain amount of chubby, like a Kim Kardashian amount.



3) You have to be hot. I'm a pretty freaking famous EliteFTS athlete and thus I'm a hot piece of property. I can't be walking around with any bowsers if you know what I mean. I may even ask you to get plastic surgery to suite certain needs that I may have, don't give me a hard time about it.



4) I'm a big guy and you will be required to do a certain amount of my personal grooming for me. It's not that big of a deal, I just can't reach vital areas so well. It would be in your best interests not to be too squeamish.



5) Must have good nursing skills. I get a lot of surgeries and you may be called upon to fetch me food and drinks, change my bandages, help me stand up and empty my pee bottle. (I've actually grown attached to the pee bottle so that's pretty much a year round thing. I'm not proud, it just sorta happened)



6) Must have a good job. Chain gyms pretty much beat my dick into the dirt financially so I need you to bring home the bacon. I literally mean that too because I'm on an all bacon diet.



7) Most important of all. You must have the sexual appetite of a rabbit in heat. Stevey P is an extremely virile, Italian, sexual tyrannosaurus I'd hate to see you lagging behind and force me to call in a reliever from the bullpen and send you to the showers early. So if I all the sudden stop things in mid hump and start tugging on my ears, brushing the brim of my hat and tapping on my arm just leave the room quietly and don't make it weird.

Steve Pulcinella,





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