College gives you a clean slate. No matter what your reputation was back in high school, you now have the opportunity to reinvent yourself into a completely different person if you so desire.

One freshman at the Colorado School Of Mines apparently set out to make a name for himself, and took the campus by storm his first day of the fall semester.

A kid in my dorm got his dick stuck in a shampoo bottle today and an ambulance came to assist him😂😂 — Ian Turner (@LingLingTurner) August 26, 2015

Shout out to the freshmen who got his dick stuck in a shampoo bottle. Wish I could hear that talk with your parents. — Jake 'n' Bake (@JayPNews) August 27, 2015

To the dude at Mines that got his dick stuck in a shampoo bottle.. Good work 😂😂😂 — Jacinda (@JacindaKrueger) August 26, 2015

Now that’s how you make a splash. Kid’s been at the school for all of five minutes and he’s already got the most notorious dick in CSM history. Try to set the bar higher. You can’t.

So many unanswered questions. Was this a power play by “Bottle Boner?” Did he want to assert dominance over his roommate by sodomizing his shampoo? Was it an all-in-one hair, body, and face wash? Is this just what gets him off, or is he a Fleshlight guy that left his fuck toy at home?

Whatever the reason behind the madness, dude just needs to own it.

“Hey, aren’t you the guy that was balls deep in some Head & Shoulders?”

“Yeah, but that’s because I like to keep the hog fresh for all the honeys.”

Keep doing you, player..

h/t Chris