LYNN, MA—Explaining that it’s highly suspicious for such prejudice to be present in every aspect of society by mere coincidence, local 31-year-old Peter Dowling, an avid conspiracy theorist, told reporters Thursday that he is beginning to believe racism may be institutionalized in the United States. “Look at the facts: We live in a country where systemic discrimination exists just under the surface everywhere you look, even in government policies—do you think that’s some sort of accident?” said the delusional man, who went on to pinpoint instances of what he called "the coordinated marginalization of minorities" across the nation’s education, economic, and political systems and insist that these injustices have been “brushed under the rug” for generations. “Just think about it for a second: Minority workers are underrepresented in most professional fields, high school graduation rates just happen to disproportionately favor white students, and if all that doesn’t make you think twice, then how about the fact that black men are nearly six times more likely to be incarcerated in their lifetime than their white counterparts? I’m telling you, it’s all pretty much hidden in plain sight. No one up at the top wants this getting out.” Dowling added that it wouldn’t take much to convince him that Barack Obama’s presidency served to help cover up such widespread prejudice and make it appear nonexistent.


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