Standard Pillow

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Truly the ideal in scream-purpose pillows! It provides just the right amount of muffling to contain your wrath, and its presence hints at a mattress nearby for you to punch during a fit of catharsis. Best of all, if the horrors of the day visit you in your sleep, this pillow is conveniently located under your head to un-blood-curdle your screams.

Amy Collier (@Amy_Corp) is a writer in Boston.

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