Nathanias Profile Blog Joined April 2010 United States 272 Posts #1



I say it every time, but it's still pretty crazy how much has happened in my life since I gambled everything in my life on getting into esports. Not to say I had much, but it's hard not to feel blessed every time I finish an event and think about being able to do something I truly love for a living and not worry about whether I'll have hot water at home that month. Now we can talk about the fun stuff :D



What a year it's been! This has been the most stressful so far, knowing life it won't be any easier moving forward but boy did it take me a while to adjust. I think my biggest struggle was taking my work and SC2 too seriously, as weird as that sounds. I had a lot of professional hurdles to make with moving closer to work, cleaning up and trying to deliver a better product to the tournaments that hire me, but I really burned myself out on StarCraft this year.



Recently it's gotten better but this Summer I really went down the rabbit hole. For most of the year up until July, I spent every single day playing/streaming/watching SC2. As good as that may sound my life was very unbalanced, that was ALL I did.When Rotti left for Europe for a few months I didn't have anyone in Rancho to really hang with, and so 100% of my time went into playing/streaming. As fun as it is to play games all day, even that requires moderation.



It didn't quite hit me until I saw what was to me a normal rant I'd make being put up on reddit, and the subsequent questions I got from the community/Blizzard about how I really felt about where I was spending my time. At that point I was still making 15-hour SC2 days, spending 3-4 hours looking for new places to live/work/food and then sleeping until the next tournament was on to watch. I never really noticed it being an issue until it was too late. It's honestly a miracle I dodged the bullet I shot at myself this year with how much I was forcing myself to keep working so much. I've certainly hurt a few of my relationships with people I respect and only time will tell if I can redeem my misdoings, but I'm more upset that trying to have this sort of "don't-give-a-fuck" attitude warped a lot of views of me from my audience and the StarCraft community.



Recently I've made my best moves towards being more responsible, and I've found a renewed interest in SC2 simply by trying to do a few more human things. For example, I've finally started to work watching non-gaming content into my life. I watched my first TV show season in its entirety this year :D I also managed to make time to play a few more games that I really wanted to get a chance to play, and I'm only playing sC2 when I want to (just not 12 hours a day!). I've come to realize how important it is to maintain a good balance of work/play and when I let my work consume me so much playing Starcraft didn't really feel like "playing" at all.



I don't really know if I can repair the damage I've done to myself with the toxic overload of streaming/playing SC2 with literally nothing else in-between I did for the first half of this year, but I'm very excited for LotV and I'm hoping that moving forward I can pace myself a little bit better. Hopefully if I've made a fool of myself in front of some of you I can change your minds with my actions, and not just these words



I wanted to ramble on a bit more but I think it's a bit too far removed from this subject. Remember, everything in moderation!



-Nate



Boy it's been a while since I last did one of these. Life has a funny way of letting you think you've got time to do everything you want to and only realizing it's been a year when you're a few thousand feet up in the air :DI say it every time, but it's still pretty crazy how much has happened in my life since I gambled everything in my life on getting into esports. Not to say I had much, but it's hard not to feel blessed every time I finish an event and think about being able to do something I truly love for a living and not worry about whether I'll have hot water at home that month. Now we can talk about the fun stuff :DWhat a year it's been! This has been the most stressful so far, knowing life it won't be any easier moving forward but boy did it take me a while to adjust. I think my biggest struggle was taking my work and SC2 too seriously, as weird as that sounds. I had a lot of professional hurdles to make with moving closer to work, cleaning up and trying to deliver a better product to the tournaments that hire me, but I really burned myself out on StarCraft this year.Recently it's gotten better but this Summer I really went down the rabbit hole. For most of the year up until July, I spent every single day playing/streaming/watching SC2. As good as that may sound my life was very unbalanced, that was ALL I did.When Rotti left for Europe for a few months I didn't have anyone in Rancho to really hang with, and so 100% of my time went into playing/streaming. As fun as it is to play games all day, even that requires moderation.It didn't quite hit me until I saw what was to me a normal rant I'd make being put up on reddit, and the subsequent questions I got from the community/Blizzard about how I really felt about where I was spending my time. At that point I was still making 15-hour SC2 days, spending 3-4 hours looking for new places to live/work/food and then sleeping until the next tournament was on to watch. I never really noticed it being an issue until it was too late. It's honestly a miracle I dodged the bullet I shot at myself this year with how much I was forcing myself to keep working so much. I've certainly hurt a few of my relationships with people I respect and only time will tell if I can redeem my misdoings, but I'm more upset that trying to have this sort of "don't-give-a-fuck" attitude warped a lot of views of me from my audience and the StarCraft community.Recently I've made my best moves towards being more responsible, and I've found a renewed interest in SC2 simply by trying to do a few more human things. For example, I've finally started to work watching non-gaming content into my life. I watched my first TV show season in its entirety this year :D I also managed to make time to play a few more games that I really wanted to get a chance to play, and I'm only playing sC2 when I want to (just not 12 hours a day!). I've come to realize how important it is to maintain a good balance of work/play and when I let my work consume me so much playing Starcraft didn't really feel like "playing" at all.I don't really know if I can repair the damage I've done to myself with the toxic overload of streaming/playing SC2 with literally nothing else in-between I did for the first half of this year, but I'm very excited for LotV and I'm hoping that moving forward I can pace myself a little bit better. Hopefully if I've made a fool of myself in front of some of you I can change your minds with my actions, and not just these wordsI wanted to ramble on a bit more but I think it's a bit too far removed from this subject. Remember, everything in moderation!-Nate Commentator Never give up, Never surrender