peekomaster Uncategorized

Blood

Inevitable, but it happens. Bleeding is something that you can’t avoid completely, unless you’re living in a bubble Or something. Which you might, I don’t know your life.

Now, when dealing with such liquids, there are a few things you need to keep in mind:

– If it looks like a bite mark, check the surrounding area for any zombie leftovers. If, in fact, you have come in contact with this hazardous DNA, chances are you’re going to experience minor changes. Look out for:

– Sensitivity to any type of musical sound

– Extreme urge for nutritious human flesh

– Sudden incapability of word production

– Lack of total body control

Some other effects include headache, nausea and/Or vomiting, increased mood swings, change in depth perception, increased heart rate, and fatigue. Basically you’re experiencing being a female. Only on a worse level. Is that even possible?

– Keep the wound clean and germ free.

This includes daily scrubbing with scalding water, steel wool, and soap. Be sure to get deep inside the wound to insure internal sterilization. It wouldn’t hurt to give those organs a good wash too, but that’s up to you. Never know who’s going to be using that liver after you.

– Avoid being a pussy about a little scratch.

These people are you Red Flag people. Stay away from them. They are the ones who bitch when they’re isn’t enough milk for their cereal. If you fall into this category, you’re a complete dumbass and need a foot up your ass. In order to over come this handicap, you will need to endure the sting of a thousand paper cuts. And if you’re still a pussy after that, well, tell whoever you’re with the just kill you cause you will amount to nothing.

– Broken bones.

These will surely kill you if not handled properly. What you don’t want to do, is amputate it right there, that’s too messy for the public to view. That’s like giving birth in the middle of Sesame Street. That is not G rated stuff man. So don’t do it. Next, it will hurt, So don’t sit there and bitch about it to the murderer coming after you cause he’s not waiting on you. He’ll slice your throat right there. Third, Be prepared to crawl a little Or stagger if it’s your leg(s) So I hope you work out. Finally, Be thankful it wasn’t a bear attack.

So now that you’re educated, get out there and take on the world. Without dying of course.