Based on personal experience movies we’ve seen, there’s really only one way to prove your masculinity in front of your buddies, your girlfriend, and society at large: Engage in a bare-knuckle street fight.

Kingdoms have been built on drunken asphalt showdowns, so when you step onto the cement, make sure you know what you’re doing.

Observe the following video, in which one presumably inebriated man mistakenly slugs a bar bouncer who turns out to be John Hernholm, a 320-pound MMA fighter.

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Want to be like this guy? Want to impress all your friends and assert your dominance over anyone who crosses your path?

Then follow these easy steps to being absolutely devastated by a human being who is paid to make other human beings swallow their teeth.

Related: The Men’s Health Big Book Of Uncommon Knowledge—DIY Tricks, How-To Tips, and Awesome Life Skills Every Man Must Master

1. Remove your shirt.

It’s how you truly win the approval of your peers. When the shirt comes off, Alpha-Male Mode is engaged. That’s a law of nature. Look it up.



2. Take a wild swing.

Don’t tentatively throw your first punch. You have one shot to make your ancestors proud, so toss your opponent a haymaker.

But be sure to follow up with zero defense; you need to put all your expectations behind that single punch. They say Rome wasn’t built in a day, but that’s because the Romans didn’t have your testicular fortitude.

(See The Unconventional 13-Minute Workout That Helps UFC Fighter Conor McGregor Knock Out Opponents In 13 Seconds.)

3. Accept the uppercut of deliverance.

No one ever said it would be easy. When your nose is crushed into powder and your teeth spill onto the streets like Mardi Gras beads, keep in mind that soon, all glory and honor will be yours.

Also, do your best to stay conscious. If you remain alert, you can better maintain your dignity and self-respect.

4. Hold your head up high.

This is very important, especially when your foe is holding you in a crucifix and you need to keep your blood-gushing mouth away from the pavement.

Congratulations! You’re the hero of the moment and the undeniable ruler of this block.

Don’t let your enemy tell you any different, no matter how much his superior size, strength, and speed say otherwise.

For actual ways to leave a bar bout with your diginity (and schnoz) intact, discover How to Win Any Fight.

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