CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A couple of lavender-scented local blokes say that the Church should actually consider how many people are being forced to sin because they aren’t allowed to get married.

The inner-Betoota bookshop owners say that they have tried their best to live a life in accordance with the Lord’s word, but eventually they got sick of waiting for equal rights and made the decision to root eachother out of wedlock.

“Believe me, no one is more disappointed in all of this than us” says Toddy, life partner of Kev.

“We are mainly disappointed with the church and government for excluding us – but we are also disappointed in ourselves for not waiting out another couple decades until we were legally bound as hubbies by law”

With the postal plebiscite currently dividing the town into two camps, those who don’t give a fuck and would prefer to not discriminate against another person just for the sake of it, and those who feel that voting NO will teach the left-wing a lesson about trying to convince them to show compassion – Kev and Toddy just want to be able to stop sinning.

“It’s a shotgun wedding, we’ve already got the paperwork signed for a kid, we just want to be married when it’s born”