Archaeologists Discover King David's 'Make Israel Great Again' Hat

ISRAEL—Archaeologists claim to have found King David's "Make Israel Great Again" hat.

Scholars believe King David rose to power on a wave of populist sentiment after King Saul failed to deliver on his campaign promise of "Hope" and the disastrous implementation of his healthcare plan, "Saulcare."

"King David gave big, rousing speeches to supporters, who all chanted 'Make Israel great again!' throughout his exciting rallies," said one researcher. "The masses had grown tired of King Saul's unfulfilled campaign promises, ballooning of the national debt, and unconstitutional drone war on the Philistines. They were looking for a normal politician who could go into Jerusalem and 'drain the swamp in Saul's court.'"

Historians have confirmed the authenticity of lawn signs reading "Make Israel Great Again" and various red hats with the same message, worn by thousands of David's supporters. He'd risen to popularity through a reality show where he fought a giant Philistine. Saul obviously didn't like David's rising popularity and so threw things at him (politics were more civilized in those days).

There is also evidence King David paid off a porn star.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee