George W Bush followed in his father’s footsteps and Don Jr’s involvement in the midterm elections campaign makes clear that he, too, has political ambitions. How far will he go?

Could Donald Trump Jr be the next US president? Be afraid

Name: Donald Trump Jr.

Age: 40.

Appearance: As if someone tried to make an off-brand Mr Potato Head toy.

That’s a bit mean. Would you say that about Malia Obama? Of course not, but she doesn’t look like the fourth male lead in a touring production of Oliver Stone’s Wall Street starring marionettes.

Stop this. Are you sure? I could go on …

Just tell me why Donald Jr is in the news. Because he’s going to be the next US president.

I’m sorry, I seem to have spluttered my stomach contents all over myself. It’s true. Why would Donald Jr be hitting the campaign trail for the US midterm elections so hard if he didn’t have clear political ambitions?

Because his girlfriend wants him out of the house? Hardly. She is on the trail with him. Her name is Kimberly Guilfoyle. They call themselves “Donberly”. “Hashtag Donberly,” she recently said. With her mouth. In public.

Good lord. Anyway, Donald Jr was in Indiana on Tuesday stumping for Mike Braun. In Ohio, on the same day, he received a standing ovation for saying: “If there is one thing Donald Trump is wrong about is that you’d be sick of winning.”

I don’t ... does that even scan? Nope.

Are you sure he wants to be president? Obviously. Just check his Twitter account. Five years ago, he was gleefully retweeting Gawker articles about Justin Bieber. Now, he just tweets incessantly about his hatred of the left.

But isn’t Ivanka supposed to be Trump’s successor? Well, that’s what Michael Wolff said in that book he wrote. But now Donald Jr has positioned himself front and centre. Realistically, any of the Trump sprogs could follow in his footsteps.

Even Eric? Oh, dear God, of course not Eric. The US might be going through a masochistic streak, but it doesn’t have a death wish.

Either way, it sounds as if plans are in order to create a Trump dynasty. Sure. If George HW Bush’s doofus son could follow in his father’s footsteps, then there’s no reason why Donald Jr couldn’t do the same thing.

I don’t like the sound of that. Not a fan of dreadful memes comparing Syrian refugees to poisoned Skittles, huh?

I’d forgotten about that. Listen, don’t worry. The president has caused so much pain to the world that Americans will do anything to keep his children out of office. You can trust them to make the right decision. You know, as long as you don’t use history for context.

Do say: “Donald Jr will never be president.”

Don’t say: “Didn’t everyone say that about his dad?”