Today is Bo Jackson's 55th birthday so we built a Bo Jackson time capsule

Today is Bo Jackson's 55th birthday, so let's talk about him for a bit.

How do you explain the inexplicable? How, without the advent of video, does one explain the wonder, the majesty, the captivating uniqueness of Bo Jackson? You can't.

Join me briefly if you will, in a terrifying theoretical. Let's say the internet was ending tomorrow and I only had enough time to put a few Bo Jackson moments onto a flash drive to pass down to future generations. What would those Bo-ments be? Well, I present to you the Bo Jackson time capsule.

The First Dinger

Wow, look how far that went. Bo announced his presence to the baseball world with this absolute monster blast in September of 1986. The power was equally awe-inspiring and effortless. I just watched it again and, wow, look how far it went.

The Throw

For all you fellow millennials out there who may know Harold Reynolds as an on-camera personality, it's important to remember before that Harold, along with being one of baseball's top basestealers, was the dude who got thrown out by Bo Jackson from the gosh darn fence. This throw was so unbelievable that the announcer literally says, "He can't do it" as Bo is doing it.

Shout out to that time Yoenis Céspedes did a tribute to this play.

The Bat Snap

Go try this at home right now. Go get a wood bat and try to snap it over your head. (Seriously, though, don't actually try this). It's impossible for us mere mortals, but for aliens like Bo Jackson it's like breaking a pencil. I bet he could have done this with an aluminum bat, too.

The All-Star Game Dinger

On July 11, 1989, all the best players in baseball gathered together in Anaheim to watch Bo Jackson in person and the legend did not disappoint. Vin Scully literally interrupted a president because Jackson was so amazing.

The Spiderman Wall Run

This is the best Bo moment. Most people would run into the wall or slow down before reaching it, but not Bo. Bo knows how much the world needs to bear witness to his athleticism, so he climbed a fence with his dang feet. LOOK HOW HIGH HE IS ON THE FENCE.

The Mr. T Throw

This is how we know that Bo Jackson is an angel sent from above. Like, what are the chances that Bo makes an incredible throw during the half-inning that Mr. T happened to be in the booth? Also Mr. T should be on more broadcasts, he's pretty legit in the booth.

The Time Bo Explained His Entire Career to Adam LaRoche 's Son

This video should be in the Hall of Fame. The way Bo says "have you heard of the Heisman Trophy" is one of the most baller things of all time. If I ever meet Bo Jackson, I'm going to pretend like I don't know who he is so that he explains his entire career to me. That would be the highlight of my life.

Happy Birthday, Bo. Thanks for imparting so much wonder upon us normal human folks with your extraterrestrial talents. You may be turning 55 today, but I'm pretty sure you'd still be able to snap a bat over your head.