Yesterday was Woman Crush Wednesday on Twitter, so Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson decided to offer an encomium to the light and love of his life, Ciara:


(As always when Russ tweets about Ciara, you should read all the replies. They never fail to be the most savage things you’ve ever seen in your life.)

What a sweet little note! Now I am convinced that Russell Wilson not some sort of uncanny-valley A.I. experiment, and is an actual human being with human thoughts and feelings.


Until:



GODDAMNIT, RUSS. You googled “How to describe a beautiful woman,” didn’t you? And copy-pasted from the first site that came up. Goddamnit.

Just...goddamnit, Russ.

Update: He did it again. Goddamnit!

Shot:


Chaser, from the same damn website: