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EMISSARY OF HUMANITYTWELFTH AND A HALF STREET,APARTMENT SEVENTY BEE,MANCHESTER,PLANET MERCURYTHE DESK OF PILOTTRAIN TRACKS,CITY OF EUREKA,PLANET EARTHDEAR PRINCESS CAPTAIN,I HAVE BUILT A SHELTER IN THE TRAIN YARDS TO REST FOR THE NIGHT, BUT THE CREATURES OF THE NIGHT DESCENDED UPON IT AND STOLE ALL OF MY SUITCASES, EXCEPT FOR THE ONE THAT I WAS USING AS MY PILLOW.I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE CONSTRUCTED AN INTRICATE SECURITY SYSTEM OF MIRRORS AND LAZORS TO KEEP UNINVITED GUESTS OUT!I WANT MY DELICIOUS CUPCAKES BACK, REAL BAD. THE CULPRITS MUST HAVE BEEN HIDEOUS, GIANT MOSQUITOES BECAUSE I WAS BOTHERED BY LOUD BUZZING ALL NIGHT.DEPRIVED OF BREAKFAST, I DECIDED TO SEEK VENGEANCE AND ASKED MY RIGHT EYE FOR HELP. IT IS NOT OFTEN THAT I DO SUCH, BECAUSE THE EYE DOESN'T ALWAYS COOPERATE AND SOMETIMES LEADS ME ASTRAY INTO A PLACE THAT KEEPS TRYING TO GIVE ME A HAIRCUT:I HATE HAIRCUTS AND PLACES THAT PROVIDE SUCH, WITH OCEANIC PASSION, BECAUSE OF FOLLOWING REASONS:1) THE MANY ARMED LADY ALWAYS TRIES TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THE WEATHER AND I AM IN NO MOOD OF COMMUNICATION WHEN MY EXTERNALS ARE BEING SLICED.2) I DON'T APPROVE OF LOSING MY EXPENSIVE APPENDAGES TO SHARP BLADES. LAST TIME I ALMOST LOST MY EAR TO THE HAIR DISPOSAL CHUTE.3) I CAN NEVER DECIDE ON WHAT HAIR STYLE I WANT. NOT EVEN THE POSTERS HELP, THEY JUST LOOK AT ME JUDGINGLY WITH THEIR PRETTY MODELY FACES.4) ISSUE 3 CAN BE RESOLVED IF HAIRCUTTING PLACES WOULD POSESS MORE ARTISTIC FLAIR. TO ELABORATE: THEY SHOULD PROVIDE PATRONS WITH PORTRAITS OF HOW THEIR FACES WOULD LOOK WITH VARIOUS HAIRCUTS INSTEAD OF ASKING "HOW SHORT U WANT THIS?"5) WHAT KIND OF LENGTH IS "FINGER-LENGTH" EXACTLY? IS THAT LENGTH OF MY FINGERS? OR THE FINGERS OF THE HAIR-CUTTER? FINGER LENGTH IS OF GREAT VARIETY, YOU KNOW!. . .AFTER SEVERELY BANGING UP THE HOUSE-NEST OF THE GIANT MOSQUITOES......AND NOT DISCOVERING MY SUITCASES OR CUPCAKES I CAME BACK TO THE SERVICE DESK. THEY STILL COULDN'T EXCHANGE MY TRAIN TICKET NOR PROVIDE ME WITH THE TRAIN SCHEDULE/MAP OF THE FACILITIES.THUSLY, I WAS ONCE AGAIN FORCED TO RELY ON MY RIGHT EYE TO TELL ME WHICH TRAIN TRACK TO FOLLOW....AND SO, I BEGUN MY QUEST TO REACH YOU ON FOOT.I HOPE THAT SNIPPY DIDN'T USURP MY TRAIN SEAT, I KNOW THAT HIS FAT BUM IS ALWAYS OUT TO STEAL MY RESERVED CHAIRS.GRACEFULLY,MOST MATURELY,WITH TRUE RESPECTS,YOUR MOST PREMIUM ASSISTANT,