I am not going to make this long. I will just say that Al has not felt good for a few days. In his words, he says he fills funky. He has not eaten well for a few days. Today at his Day Program he blacked out and fell forward.

The Hospice Nurse just left our house. I want to take her simple and polite words and dissect them to death but I have to remain sane. I knew something wasn’t right when she made me leave Al’s room to talk to me.

I can still hear her words exact. ” Has he been talking about dead people? Has he mentioned anything about not being here long or taking a trip? I couldn’t find a pulse but did find a weak one in his feet. He may sleep a lot now. If he doesn’t want to eat or take his medications just give him the pain ones for his labored breathing. He is declining.”

Dearest friends, please pray for me. For at this moment, this very second I just want to throw up.I am not sure if I can do the waiting game, the over-checking on him, the stress and worry, watching his breathing things. I need help.