Chapter 55

Cinder survived.

The efforts of the hospital staff, along with a sizable helping of luck, kept Cinder alive. She remained comatose for days, but she was breathing on her own and her condition improved every day. She was moved from intensive care to recovery, now expected to live.

Neo also survived. Her burns were less extensive and less severe, but no less dangerous. The damage to her lungs required some treatment, and was initially the focus, but an infection caused a major setback. Once that had been dealt with, she too was moved to recovery, sharing a room with the still comatose Cinder.

Though they attended the same university, the pair had had little prior contact. Neo was a loner, isolated by her disability and by choice. With even communicating presenting serious difficulties, she found it easier to just keep to herself. Cinder probably had no idea who she was, but Neo knew who Cinder was. Everyone did. While Neo was not a fan of Cinder's personality or actions, she did appreciate her beauty, respect her strength, and the way she could take command of any group she found herself in. It was sad to see her in this state, disfigured, barely clinging to life.

Visits from Neo's adoptive father, Roman, brightened her mood somewhat, but being bedridden and in constant discomfort wore on her. She wanted to get up and out. Though Neo had few friends, being confined to the same room for days, only in contact with Roman and the staff that came and went, was difficult to bear. Still unconscious, Cinder was not very good company, and the woman, Neo assumed it was Cinder's mother, who regularly visited did not even acknowledge her existence.

When Cinder finally awoke, the situation did not significantly improve. Upon first seeing herself in a mirror, Cinder tried to scream. Her left eye was gone, along with much of her hair, and the left side of her face was badly burned. She wanted to cry out, but her impaired respiratory system was hardly capable of making a sound. Instead she was forced into an agonizing coughing fit as her exertions churned the damaged tissue in her throat and lungs. The woman who visited her had pleaded with her to calm down, promising to pay for any surgery or prosthetic it would take to make her look and feel whole again, but to no avail. She only calmed when an emergency injection of painkillers and sedatives knocked her out.

Neo felt awful. She knew what it was like to suffer with a disability, but she had been born with it. Cinder had been normal, strong, beautiful, but had been robbed of all that. Nothing would ever be the same for her. Neo hoped that someway, somehow, it would work out for Cinder, that she could come to terms with her new reality. Neo desperately wanted to say something, anything to offer any encouragement, but her muteness, combined with the fact that she had no idea what she could say, left her but a silent witness.

The worst had yet to come.

A few days after Cinder woke up, her mood had shown little improvement. Despair had overtaken anguish, and now she lie there silent, only speaking when spoken to, hardly moving a muscle. Neo's condition was improving, and she was allowed to get up and move around a bit, but with her doctors concerned about a potential repeat of her infection, she had to remain in the hospital. Still unable to figure out what to say to Cinder, she attempted to passively engage her, watching the room's television, playing videos on her scroll loudly enough and at the proper angle for Cinder to enjoy them. Cinder seemed not to notice, occasionally giving a blank glance but nothing more.

Then one afternoon the door swung open and in strode someone new. She was casually dressed in skinny jeans and a tank top, with a coat over the top, with olive skin, and mint hair. Neo recognized her, one of Cinder's hangers-on, Emerald. Cinder's eyes lit up and she even managed a smile upon seeing the guest, and Neo dared to hope it could be the turn around Cinder needed. Emerald walked up to the far side of Cinder's bed. She looked over the occupant with a smirk.

"Emmy, I'm so happy to see you." Cinder managed a raspy whisper. She reached out with her bandaged hand, grabbing at Emerald's wrist. Emerald slapped Cinder's hand away and scowled. "Ah...Emmy I-"

"You know, I loved you, for the longest time I loved you." Emerald cut her off. "Where everyone saw a selfish, arrogant queen bee, I saw a goddess, someone who deserved to be loved, to be worshipped. And I did. I followed you, I never left your side. I wanted to prove myself to you, to be worth your love, but you know what?"

Emerald leaned in closer. "You never cared." She continued, now with venom in her voice. "I thought everyone else was in the wrong, that they were scared, that you were misunderstood, but all along they were right. You took me for granted, I followed you and you treated me like a lapdog, like I wasn't worth your precious time. All I ever wanted was to be acknowledged, to have my feelings respected, returned, but you never cared…"

Emerald stood, looming over Cinder, who's single eye was wide and watery. "And now here we are, you laying there, me standing here...with you gone, I've had time to think. Everyone else turned to me. I was closest to you, they respected me. Not because I earned it, but because they fear you, what you might do to them, what you do to everyone else. They think that with you gone I'm in charge! I guess they're right. Who would fear you? You're half the woman you used to be. You can't talk down to me, you can't even stand, you can barely even move. You're nothing Cinder. How does it feel? How does it feel to be me? To be everyone you made feel insignificant?"

Cinder shook, tears falling from her eye. She flinched away from Emerald's glare, but could not avoid it. "I-"

"I'm done with you." Emerald snarled. "Goodbye Cinder."

Emerald turned to walk away, but Cinder reached out with her bandaged hand, weakly grasping at Emerald once more. "No, please, Emmy, don't leave. Please don't leave. I'll be yours, I'll be yours, just don't leave me alone, not like this, anything but this." She tried to yell, to plead, but only strangled, pathetic rasps came forth.

Emerald grabbed Cinder's wrist and squeezed until she whimpered. "How could I love you? How could anyone love you? Not only are you a rotten bitch, you're a disgusting freak." She pushed Cinder's hand away, fixing her with a glare once more. "You make me sick." She turned and left, slamming the door behind her.

Cinder was left to sob in agony from her throbbing throat and aching heart. All Neo could do was watch in silence.

Neo watched for days as Cinder descended into a profound depression. She cried frequently and rarely spoke, even to her mother. Occasionally she would check something on her scroll, perhaps sending the odd message, but her mood never improved. If what Neo had heard was true, Cinder was a bully, a rotten bitch, but no one deserved this. Her physical wounds were terrible, unbearable, but the emotional wounds inflicted by Emerald cut deeper. It was unforgivable.

Cinder's scroll buzzed. She heaved a heavy and ragged sigh before reaching for it without looking. She missed, fumbling and knocking the device off the table and onto the floor. Cinder appeared to be near tears once more. She reached for the button that would summon a nurse, but after her fingers hovered above it for a few moments, she withdrew. Neo could no longer remain a passive bystander. She pushed off her covers and swiveled to the edge of the bed. Bending down to retrieve the scroll, she winced in pain as the still tender skin on her back stretched.

Neo grabbed the device and handed it to Cinder before returning to her own bed. Cinder gave her a curious look, her first real acknowledgement of Neo's presence, before shifting her attention to the scroll. After reading the message she had received, Cinder placed the device back on the table and glanced at Neo once more. "Why are you staring at me?" She rasped. "Am I that much of a freak?"

Neo shook her head. She held up a finger as if to ask for time, then began tapping at her scroll. Her only way to speak was through the device's text-to-speech program, and she hated the voice, but there was no alternative. "Your eye is a very pretty color."

"Fuck off." Cinder snapped. "Don't patronize me."

"I mean it." Neo replied. "You're beautiful."

"I was beautiful." Cinder sighed. "Or maybe I wasn't. Maybe I was always a monster. Now I just look the part."

"Don't listen to what that cunt said." Neo advised. "You might have made some mistakes, but we're all worthy of redemption. You're still beautiful. You can still be loved."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Cinder asked.

"I'm in pain and isolated too." Neo replied. "I know how it feels. Not being able to speak, to communicate, is hard. Most people don't have the patience. I don't want to see someone else suffer like me."

"I'm not worth it." Cinder shook her head. "I have nothing left."

"You are." Neo persisted. "You're alive, and you have a mother who loves you." There was a pause as Neo hesitated before adding more. "And an admirer in the bed next door." Cinder managed a brief chuckle before descending into an agonizing coughing fit. "Are you okay?"

"Better than okay." Cinder answered. "Thank you...I needed this."

"There's no need to thank me." Neo smiled.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you all this time." Cinder apologized. "We should talk...type? Whatever, we should...communicate more."

"I hate the sound of this thing." Neo noted. "Can I have you number so we can text?"

Cinder hesitated. "Um...sure."

Cinder and Neo began texting back and forth almost constantly. They soon came to rely on each other's company, particularly Cinder. Neo was happy to see Cinder smile, even though she had occasional bouts of melancholy. It became obvious early on that, though Cinder's condition prevented almost all physical contact, the friendship had become a romance. That romance was threatened when Neo was released from the hospital. Cinder was still a long way from recovery, and though she valued their silent conversations, she feared not being able to actually see Neo any longer.

Cinder need not have worried. Neo visited every day, staying for hours, supporting Cinder when she started physical therapy, sharing her ups and downs. Even so, Cinder desperately wanted out of the hospital. She wanted to try to move on with her life. With Neo at her side, Cinder could believe it was possible. Cinder's mother, Salem, stepped in to help. Determined to grant her daughter's every wish, Salem purchased all the equipment Cinder would need for treatment, paid a doctor to make periodic visits, arranged for a physical therapist to visit daily and hired a full time nurse, so Cinder was able to leave the hospital and return to her apartment in downtown Atlas.

Salem had a habit of giving Cinder everything she wanted. In business dealings, personal relationships, and life in general, Salem was cruel, scheming and unscrupulous. When dealing with her daughter, she showed nothing but love and generosity. Three years earlier, when Cinder had asked for an apartment of her own so she could be more independent, Salem had readily agreed. Not only did Salem see to Cinder's continued medical care in the comfort of that apartment, she did not object to Neo's moving in as well.

Neo and her adoptive father Roman lived a comfortable enough life. Neo's education might have been expensive, but generous scholarships paid for most of it. Her disability made things tough, too tough for her birth parents, but she and Roman managed to put together a rather happy life. He managed a warehouse, making decent pay along with some money on the side from doing special - and probably illegal - favors for his boss. Like Salem, he wanted his daughter to be happy, but he did not have the means to give her everything she desired. He was a bit hesitant to let Neo move out so soon after leaving the hospital, but she had always desired independence, and he was not about to stand in the way.

Cinder and Neo set about creating a life for themselves. Cinder's condition rapidly improved, at least as much as it could. Her left eye was gone, her left hand was permanently crippled, and her lungs were damaged, but she could get around and take care of herself. The pair started to think of the future, of returning to university in the spring. Soon the full time nurse and visiting doctor were no longer necessary. At Cinder's insistence, the equipment Salem had purchased was donated to a nearby hospital. The physical therapist still made daily visits, helping Cinder recover to her full physical potential.

The emotional wounds Cinder had suffered were harder to heal. Though Emerald was clearly in the wrong, she had been right on several points. Cinder had treated the people around her badly. Looking back, she could see just how awful a person she had been. She had been too much like her mother. Cinder loved Salem and appreciated everything Salem did for her, but she would not want to be her friend or business associate. Salem treated her friends as if they were disposable and her enemies like trash to be degraded and destroyed. Cinder had done the same, and the guilt wore on her.

Though Cinder had been reluctant to discuss her inner struggle, Neo was persistent. Eventually Cinder opened up about her worries and regrets. Both knew well that the past could not be erased. Cinder had done terrible things and there was no undoing them. She could, however, atone. She had already made a critical first step in acknowledging her wrongdoing, and Neo suggested she make another by apologizing to those she had hurt. Cinder was reluctant, not because she did not want to, but because she was afraid. She would be apologizing from a position of obvious weakness, liable to have her attempts thrown back in her face. She did not deserve forgiveness anyway. But Neo insisted, and so she and Cinder planned to begin by returning to the university.

Present Day

"The collar was too kind." Ruby declared.

Weiss and Blake nodded in agreement. Neo smirked, and even Cinder could not resist a grin. "Still...it was not entirely undeserved." Cinder admitted. "And in a way I must thank her...had she not said those things...I may not be here."

"If she really cared about you she wouldn't have been so cruel." Ruby noted.

"If I really cared about her...maybe things would have been different." Cinder frowned.

"Maybe, but it's not good to dwell on what ifs." Weiss suggested. Cinder hummed, not quite as crestfallen, but still unhappy. Weiss sighed. "Could we speak alone, please?" Cinder looked up, surprised at the request, but nodded, looking to Neo and nodding again. Neo leaned in to peck her on the lips. Ruby and Blake did the same for Weiss, and the three left. Now alone with Weiss, Cinder waited. "Cinder, I don't want any bad blood between us, not anymore." Weiss shifted, patting the mattress beside her. Cinder stared at the spot for a moment before obeying, moving from the desk chair to sit at Weiss' side. "I know it's hard to speak. This way you're right beside my ear, you don't have to strain yourself."

Cinder looked in confusion at Weiss' kind smile. The statement struck her as more thoughtful than she deserved. "Thank you...Weiss I…"

"I missed you." Weiss interrupted. Cinder froze. Weiss was not looking at her anymore, or smiling. Instead her expression was tight, and she stared down at the floor. "I missed being around you...it was lonely and I was hurting, and when I first saw Blake I thought I was looking at you again, and I think that's why I was so sure of myself at the time. And when I saw you again, when you talked to me, it did hurt. It thought we could pick up where we left off, but we didn't, and it hurt. But I want to leave that hurt where it belongs. I don't want it looming over us." Weiss looked at Cinder, face less firm now, eyes watering. "I just want my friend back Cin...if we ever were."

Cinder could not hold her gaze, the guilt bubbling within her chest. "I don't know Weiss...what we had was...it wasn't a real friendship so much as...a...business relationship." Cinder sighed. "Mother taught me to make connections...to use people...so I did...and I continued to do so...until now." She glanced up to see Weiss, who was crestfallen as expected, but she schooled herself quickly.

Weiss took on a determined look. "Then we start over. Completely. No lies, no business, just the two of us, talking, like normal people, normal friends."

Cinder could not help but smile ruefully. "And...what would we talk about?"

"Well, certainly not boys it seems." Weiss chuckled.

Cinder laughed, or at least tried to. The best she could manage were some sharp pants, followed by a coughing fit that brought tears to her eyes. She felt Weiss' hand slip into hers and she gripped it tightly. Weiss rubbed soothing circles on Cinder's back until she recovered. "No...certainly not...both of them...you surprise me Weiss."

Weiss had the decency to blush. "Yes, well, Ruby has a way of worming her way into your life, your heart and your arms. And Blake...well, it turned out we were both hiding feelings for each other."

"They are quite beautiful...but I have Neo." Cinder nodded. "I owe her my life...no one compares to her."

"I never thought I'd see you lovesick." Weiss said.

Cinder grinned, bumping Weiss with her shoulder. "Shush...or what little remains of my fearsome reputation will fade away...though that may not be a bad thing."

Weiss hummed, her thumb tracing circles on Cinder's hand. Neither made to let go. "I like what you did with your hair."

Cinder sighed, smile fighting to remain. "It's nice of you to say...but I'm afraid it's...not my hair."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Weiss apologized.

"They did a good job...it almost looks perfect." Cinder continued. "I think that's what gives it away...it's not quite there."

"I couldn't tell." Weiss observed. "I thought you just had a trim."

Cinder smiled a little more genuinely, yet sadly. "My injuries were...and still are extensive. My left leg and arm...some of my chest...my back...my neck...my face...all the way up to here." Reaching up with her sleeved hand, she touched the side of her skull, about an inch above her ear. "All scarred...it was easier to shave my head than risk the hair irritating my wounds...I only recently started growing it again...but…" She reached up again, with her other hand this time. Grasping her hair, she pulled, the wig slipping off. "...I wonder if it's even worth it." Weiss could not help but stare as Cinder turned her head. Without the wig, the extent of the scarring was revealed. Most of the left side of her head had been burned, leaving a mass of mottled scar tissue. Her ear was gone, making for a lopsided appearance. It was a horrifying reality, one that was crushing Cinder. "It won't ever be the same."

"Things don't have to be the same." Weiss noted. "They just have to be good enough, and we'll go from there." She gave the best reassuring smile she could for her friend, enough the Cinder was able to return it, slight as it may be."

"Maybe…" Cinder gave Weiss' hand a tight squeeze.

"Hey, we can make the best of anything." Weiss encouraged. "The patch? Fashion accessory. Coco will have a field day."

"You really think...Coco will care?" Cinder asked.

"She does." Weiss replied. "Otherwise she wouldn't have looked so shell-shocked when she came over."

Cinder huffed at that. "Well...we'll see."