Cody Lallier, 28, woke up alone on his wedding day on the famed Biltmore Estate in Asheville, N.C. No, he hadn’t been jilted. After the rehearsal dinner the night before, Cody and his fiance, Patrick Harrison, 29, slept in separate rooms, observing the custom of spouses not seeing each other until the “first look” before the ceremony.

At precisely 6:30 p.m. on June 4, with more than 150 relatives and friends — “framily,” as the couple likes to call them — present, first Cody and then Patrick walked down the aisle, each escorted by his parents. Cody’s mother, Deborah Lallier, stepped up to officiate. Thirty minutes later, the mother of the groom proclaimed:

“Everyone please welcome and celebrate Mr. and Mr. Cody Lallier.”

And then the grooms kissed.

Meet the next generation of gay marrieds. They’re younger, more traditional, and are spending way more than their earlier counterparts did. They prefer formal proposals, wedding showers, engagement and bachelor parties and larger guest lists, explained Bernadette Smith, president of the Gay Wedding Institute.

Patrick Harrison (L) and Cody Lallier (R) ( Paola Nazati /Jeremy Russell Photography and Paola Nazati )

Kathryn Hamm, a lesbian and the publisher of GayWeddings.com, said, “With the increased participation of parents and wedding professionals in our celebrations, we are incorporating more of the ‘old standards.’ ”

Let’s call this the “new normal,” which furthers the notion that there’s no such thing as a “gay wedding.”

A wedding is a wedding, except, that is, to the Republican Party and its nominee for president, Donald Trump, which insist on seeking to overturn same-sex marriage.

The GOP “passed the most anti-LGBT platform in the party’s 162-year history,” the head of the Log Cabin Republicans, a pro-gay advocacy group, wrote in a fundraising email seeking to amend it. In their own words, Republicans said they “condemn” the Supreme Court’s “lawless ruling” in Obergefell v. Hodges and reiterated the seriously discriminatory notion that marriage can only be “between one man and one woman.” Whether pandering to their evangelical base or a harbinger of appointments and policies to come (or both), the GOP clearly stands against many Americans on this issue as they try to chip away at the legitimacy of our unions.

[LGBTQ and heterosexual weddings have a lot in common, survey finds]

The Lalliers are among the more than 123,000 same-sex couples who married in the United States in the year after the Supreme Court’s Obergefell decision, according to a new Gallup poll. They’ve been married just over a month now, and it’s sure hard to see how their union will threaten “the foundation for a free society,” as the GOP platform states. “The fact that roughly half of all same-sex couples in the U.S. are now married . . . demonstrates remarkable social change,” explained Gary Gates, former research director at UCLA’s Williams Institute. Gallup also reported same-sex couples spent an astounding $1.3 billion on weddings last year.

Patrick and Cody’s wedding story reads like the fairy tale they hoped it would be. Cody proposed on bended knee in October 2014 with these words: “You already make the most amazing partner, and I would love to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” As Patrick remembered, “My jaw dropped. Tears instantly came into my eyes. I said ‘yes’ instantaneously.”

Both grooms came out to their respective families long ago and had their full support. Although it was a first gay wedding for all, Patrick said, “no one gave any hint that they were uncomfortable.”

Other same-sex couples, even in 2016, are not so fortunate. Although family acceptance has increased, the Knot LGBT Weddings Study for 2016 reported last month that more than half of LGBT couples say that family was not accepting of their marriage — a fact the Republicans know well and are exploiting. Deborah Lallier’s response to these findings: “It’s time to be done with that kind of rejection from their families. It’s sad and heart-wrenching.”

[For two men who said ‘I do’, now comes the work for happily ever after ]

Although the grooms wanted a “traditional” wedding, deciding which elements to keep was complicated. The wedding hashtag turned out to be a no-brainer: #MrandMrLallier. Especially tricky was the question of money — or how Cody, a social worker, and Patrick, a registered nurse, would pay for their wedding. “I never made any assumption that we’d get any kind of financial support from either one of our families,” Cody said.

Hamm said GayWeddings’ research indicated nearly three-quarters of same-sex couples pay “for all or most of the wedding costs,” although the number receiving parental contributions is rising.

Patrick made a very personal decision. Anticipating children, he wanted them all to have “one family name together.” When I asked Patrick’s father, Daniel Harrison, what he thought about the name change, he said matter-of-factly: “When his sister got married recently, she went through the same decision [and changed her name]. I told Patrick and Cody, ‘Whatever feels right for you, I support.’ It’s about acceptance and supporting your children.”

The GOP platform and candidate, not so much. With no evidence to support its claim, the Republicans argued that “traditional marriage is best for children.” Those with both a mother and a father will be less likely to “use drugs or alcohol, engage in crime or get pregnant outside of marriage.” Please, Republicans should listen to the American people on these issues, not to mention Patrick’s father, who gave me this simple advice for other families seeking to find acceptance of their LGBT sons and daughters: “Love one another unconditionally.”

Email questions to Civilities at stevenpetrow@gmail.com (unfortunately not all questions can be answered). You can reach him on Facebook at facebook.com/stevenpetrow and on Twitter @stevenpetrow. Join him for a chat online at washingtonpost.comon Aug. 9.