Fidgeters rejoice! The Exacto Shredder Spinner is guaranteed to give you plenty of free time to spin as you're waiting for stitches in the ER. With two precision-machined Exacto blades from FA-UX steel and a ball-bearing chassis system, the Shredder has seen spin times up to 25 minutes -- shorter than your ER wait time! Why settle for safe spinners when you can live dangerously at high RPMs? The Shredder spinner comes with an unconditional guarantee that you WILL occasionally, probably, most likely, require stitches. The nice thing is, stitches heal pretty quickly and as far as medical procedures go, they're relatively cheap. Impress your friends. Intimidate your enemies. Spin with the Shredder Spinner.

Two razor-blade sharp ergo spinners from FA-UX steel, featuring the Blade HQ logo.

Ergonomic spinner button houses an intricate circuit of hand polished ceramic (or steel?) bearings. Extremely rare bearings polished individually by passenger pigeons in East India via psytomyosis.

Bro. You could totally use this on your beard too! Just imagine spinning this thing, then letting 'er free into your facial hair! Beard be gone. And maybe your nose, but hey, what's a lost nose here and there?

Coming February 31, 2018