In Stormy Daniels's new memoir, Full Disclosure, the porn star who rose to national prominence for having sex with Donald Trump in 2006 details her affair and subsequent interactions with the man who would become president, interspersed among stories from her life as an adult actress and mother. But she knows why people are reading, and it's not for her parenting tips: At the beginning of the third chapter, which details her 2006 tryst with the then Apprentice host, begins: "Okay, so did you just skip to this chapter?" (Honestly, I did!)

So let's get into it. Here are the weirdest details about Daniels and Trump from Full Disclosure:

1. Stormy Daniels didn't think it was creepy that Trump told her she reminded him of his daughter

Daniels describes the night she had sex with Donald Trump in painstaking detail. He asked her to dinner, and when she arrived at his hotel suite, she was surprised to see that he was wearing black silk pajamas, and that there wasn't any food as promised. She says she yelled at him, "Go put some fucking clothes on." She was insulted that Trump assumed she was there for sex. After she made him change, he reentered wearing a full suit, and began to prattle on without asking her any questions. "It was one pretentious brag after another," she writes. "I will spare you."

She thought she earned his respect after he showed her his magazine—she doesn't remember the specific publication—and she responded, "Are you so insecure that you have to brag about yourself? Or are you just a fucking asshole?" She wrote that she instructed him to drop his trousers and proceeded to spank him. "It was a power moment, not at all sexual," she asserts. "It wasn't dirty play... It was me being pissed off and him being shocked."

After she spanked Trump with the magazine, he apparently said to her, "I like you. You remind me of my daughter."

But Daniels wasn't creeped out by this remark. "I know everyone has made that sound sexual, and I feel so sorry for Ivanka... It was not some perverted, 'You remind me of my daughter. She's so hot,'" she writes, explaining that he then told her, "You're smart, you're beautiful. You're just like her. You're a woman to be reckoned with."

2. Trump knows his hair looks dumb

God bless Stormy Daniels for pointing to his hair and asking Trump, "What's going on with this?"

He told her, "I know it's ridiculous. Come on. First of all, I have a mirror. Second of all, I have had every celebrity stylist—even Paul Mitchell himself—wanting to give me a makeover." But he said he was committed to having his hair look awful because "everybody talks about it."

"It's my trademark," he told her. And hey! He's not wrong.

3. Despite Trump's wealth, he uses cheap hair products

When Daniels used the bathroom in his hotel room, she noticed his toiletry bag was open. She claims that he has golden nail clippers and tweezers, but more interestingly, she noticed that he had Old Spice and Pert Plus. "There was something so right and so wrong about a purported billionaire using a two-in-one shampoo and conditioner," Daniels writes.

4. She didn't want to have sex with Trump

Daniels thought she earned Trump's respect after the spanking incident. She says they ended up having a good conversation about the business aspects of the porn industry, and even though she didn't believe he would follow through, he promised to put her on The Apprentice, and she hoped something would come of that, which is why she continued to correspond with him for years after their first meeting.

Daniels wrote that after she returned from the bathroom, where she eyed his cheapo products, Trump was on his bed, wearing white briefs and a V-neck undershirt, "perched on the edge... a poor attempt at looking powerful."

"It was an out-of-body experience," Daniels recalls. "There was no foreplay and it was one position. Missionary... I just kind of lay there. A lot of women have been there. He wasn't aggressive, and I know for damn sure I could have outrun him if I tried, but I didn't... As he was on top of me I replayed the previous three hours to figure out how I could have avoided this."

5. On his penis and balls:

The world already knows Daniels's description of the president's penis, but I will recap for anyone who missed it:

I am sorry to report that it is not freakishly small. It is smaller than average... He needs to shave his balls, I thought. They were unusually hairy, hairier than the rest of him... His penis is distinctive in a certain way... He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool... A dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.

Ew.

6. Trump doesn't do dirty talk, but he's a little chatty during sex

During sex, the president apparently said to her, "That's great. That's great. Oh, you're so beautiful."

7. He told her him and Melania sleep in separate beds

Trump apparently told Daniels that his wife, who had recently given birth to his youngest son, Barron, wouldn't mind him hanging around with a porn star because they sleep in separate beds. He also proudly showed her pictures of baby Barron.

8. His nickname for Daniels was "honey bunch"

"It may have been the least impressive sex I'd ever had, but clearly he didn't share that opinion," Daniels writes. After he was finished, "he rolled over and said, 'Oh that was just great... We're so good together, honey bunch.'" From then on, that was his nickname for Daniels.

9. On his 'Shark Week' obsession:

As previously reported, the president has a fascination with Shark Week. In 2007, Daniels met up with Trump at the Beverly Hills Hotel. A documentary called The Worst Shark Attack Ever was playing on the TV, and he apparently expressed the following thoughts about sharks:

"Disgusting creatures... I hate sharks. I'll donate to just about anything, but the only shark charity I would donate to is one that promised to kill all the sharks."

10. Daniels overheard a phone call between Trump and Hillary Clinton

During their 2007 meeting at the Beverly Hills Hotel, Daniels claims that Hillary Clinton called her future presidential opponent:

She was up against Barack Obama seeking the Democratic nomination, and he had a whole conversation about the race, repeatedly mentioning "our plan." They also discussed a family trip they wanted to take together... When he hung up, he was effusive about Hillary. "I love her," he said. "She's so smart."

How things change!

11. He told her he didn't want to be president

Trump also apparently said to Daniels, "A lot of people say I should run for president someday. They want me to run because I can afford it. Who would want to? This is way more fun."

Alas.

12. Trump doesn't like period sex

When Trump began hitting on Daniels during their 2007 Beverly Hills Hotel meeting, she lied and told him she couldn't have sex because she was on her period. "Those were the magic words," Daniels recalls, explaining after she told him that, he was "not interested in pursuing sex that night."

13. Daniels never wanted to sell her story

In 2011, the adult actress received a phone call informing her that The Dirty, a gossip website, had published some details about her night with Trump. She quickly contacted a lawyer and got the item taken down—after all, she hadn't told her then husband about her night with the Donald. But a couple of weeks later, the tabloid In Touch contacted her, saying they were going to publish a piece about her night with Trump, and she could either get paid to tell all or they would publish a potentially inaccurate story without speaking to her. The story didn't run until 2017, but shortly after Daniels spoke to In Touch, she says she was threatened by a Trump crony who approached her when she was with her daughter and said, "Beautiful little girl you got there. It'd really be a shame if something happened to her mom."

14. Daniels didn't vote in the 2016 election

"I didn't vote on Election Day because I couldn't decide between Clinton and Trump," Daniels writes. "If you think I am some sort of Deep State Clinton operative, I am sorry to disappoint you."

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