Ever since I can remember I’ve had three favorite colors: Orange, Green, and Yellow. The colors of citrus fruits. I love citrus fruits, always have.

I discovered this propensity for sour and sweet all thanks to a pack of Scooby-Doo fruit snacks way back in ’97. It’s tough to describe exactly what it is about the sour bite of oranges, lemons, and limes that I am so attracted to; I just love that tightness you get in the sides of your jaws that makes your salivary glands scream. It’s masochistic, really.

From there it followed logically that I should also like each fruit’s respective color: Orange, Green, and Yellow. Boom. Discover favorite color(s): check. And so for the next 18 years if you asked my favorite color, I had an answer.

However, outside of the pain/pleasure combo these flavors provided my youthful jowls, they held an additional and special significance to me. One that I wouldn’t discover until much later. 18 years later to be exact. Allow me to explain:

Growing up, extra-curricular activities were a must. Didn’t matter what it was, but inactivity was not an option. My parents afforded my brother and me the opportunity to try anything and everything, and for that I am truly grateful. Like many other twenty-somethings, I have come to realize that my parents are, in fact, the shit. (That’s a good thing, Mom and Dad) And that nearly everything they tried to teach me about life was true.

However, being the spoiled and unaware child that I was, I squandered this blessing. I took a backseat when it came to selecting from the plethora of options offered to me and quickly learned that if I didn’t show interest in any one particular activity, one would be selected for me, and I was fine with that.

I carried on in this manner for many years, and still struggle with it to this day. I was not in the driver’s seat of my own life and, when the time came for me to take the wheel, I was terrible at driving.

But back to those colors, tho…

Why were they such an important part of my development? Answer: as a kid who had taken a backseat in his own life, Orange, Green and Yellow were the first time I can remember deciding something entirely for myself. Orange wasn’t just a color, it was the first layer of bedrock upon which I would build my sense of self, and I expected that bedrock to be resolute and immovable.

Fast forward to two months ago, when I came home from work and found myself mindlessly staring at my orange Nalgene bottle (Yes, my life is that exciting). Caught in a 1000-yard gaze, I noticed an unpleasant tickle in the depths of my subconscious brain telling me that something was wrong. During this staring contest, something shook. Shifted. Shattered. I felt my bedrock fracture.

By then I’d had this thing for about 9 months and, despite covering it with numerous stickers that demonstrate my varied and diverse interests, it just didn’t jive with me.

I had to figure out what was so unsettling about this bottle, and how it had managed to shake me to my core.

After much deliberation I ruled out every aspect but one. The color. Bright orange. My favorite color. How could that be?! It’s been my favorite for 18 years! If I don’t actually like the color orange, what else have I been lying to myself about? Who am I? *cue existential crisis*

Don’t worry. I’m still here. Still with a firm grasp on reality.

So how did I reconcile the fact that I had been lying to myself for so many years? What I realized is that I knew something was awry and had felt that same tickle in my subconscious the day that I bought it. But it was orange, and I absolutely knew that I liked orange. So I bought it and lived for 9 months with something that bothered me.

I let a belief that I formed as a 5-year-old dictate my happiness (or, in this case, lack thereof).

Ok so obviously being more concerned with the aesthetic of my water bottle rather than the actual water inside is pretty much the definition of a First World problem but, regardless of privilege, there is a morsel of knowledge to be found here.

We make assumptions about ourselves every single day because we can’t completely re-examine our wants and desires every time we face a decision. We order our venti-soy-chai-tea latte. We enjoy it. We leave Starbucks with our sense of self intact. We have to in order to function like normal members of society.

That being said, I have a challenge for you:

Every once in awhile, take some time to re-examine these assumptions you make about yourself. Tune in to those subconscious feelings and really give them the time of day.

Maybe one day you’re eating Captain Crunch and the flavor/texture combo of high-fructose corn syrup and razor blades doesn’t have the same appeal it used to, or maybe you’re listening to some Kanye and you suddenly feel nauseated, or maybe you secretly hate your preferred hydration vessel.

Don’t despair! Explore that feeling. Try Cocoa Puffs, bump some Gambino, buy a blue water bottle. I promise you’ll be the same person you were before, but maybe just a little bit happier.

“You are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago.”*

*As far as I can tell, this quote is attributable to the twitter user Jess Taras (@JessTaras). She does yoga and inspires people in 140 characters or less.

This post was written by Drew Redmond.