5 Ways the Bible was Wrong about Nature

Well unless you’ve been living in a cave for the last 6 months, you will know that this Sunday, shortly after 6PM, we will all die, unless you are saved in which case you will all live [within the bosom of the Lord].

You see the Crazy Christians will have you believe the Bible predicts the end of the world and this time (there are dozens of such predictions that have never come to pass) it’s really going to happen, in the form of a global earthquake.

Apparently Jesus and his Dad decided that things need to be “shaken up” so that those who are saved will be readily identified because they won’t be falling into the crevices and cracks caused by the giant earthquake and they can just be scooped up, put into bags according to race, creed, and color, and eventually carried up to Heaven by Angels, some of whom are lounging about on clouds looking for work, because Heaven is really, really boring. I mean how long can you stare at anyone, even Jesus and the Old Man, before the newness wears off?

Now those Jumpers for Jesus are really going all out for this one, and once again it’s a case of Atheists knowing more than the Christians about the Silly Book, because they know this is just another one of those goofy biblical rumors and come midnight, at least in the United States, the Atheists will be going to bed wearing secret smiles.

According to our friends at Truth Saves the claims about nature contained in the Bible are identical to the false beliefs held by the men who wrote it. Ancient man in the Mediterranean area was convinced that the sky was blue and leaked water because it held a body of water identical to the sea and rain was caused by openings in the sky. They also believed the moon was a dim source light and that a flat earth was the center of the solar system. Based on limited knowledge and limited vantage points all of these beliefs made perfect sense. However, if the Bible was the inspired word of an all knowing god then it would not reflect these outdated assumptions about nature. It is clear that the knowledge provided by the Bible is limited by the extent of ancient man’s knowledge and beliefs.

1…

Big Blue Sky If the Bible were true then there would be a giant body of water that’s identical to the sea sitting above the heavens. Every time NASA sends a space shuttle to outerspace it would have to pass through a massive “sky-sea” before reaching outer space. Genesis 1:6-10 “And God said, “Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water .” So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it . And it was so. God called the expanse “sky.” And there was evening, and there was morning-the second day.”

2…

Source Of Rain If the Bible were true then rain would be caused and stopped by the opening and closing of windows in the sky. Today we know that rain is actually the result of a four stage process, called the Water Cycle, involving evaporation, condensation, precipitation, and collection. Genesis 7:11-12 “…the windows of heaven were opened. And the rain was upon the earth …” Genesis 8:2 “…the windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained;”

3…

The Moon If the Bible were true then the moon would be a source of light like the sun, only dimmer. We now know that the moon only reflects light from the sun yet the Bible specifically says the moon is a “lesser light” and that the light belongs to the moon. Genesis 1:16 “And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.” Isaiah 13:10 “moon shall not cause her light to shine.”

4…

The Stationary Earth If the Bible were true Earth would sit motionless in the center of our solar system. Our home planet would be held up by actual pillars and attached to a literal foundation. Again and again the Bible tells us that Earth is immovable, in a fixed position, and attached to a foundation upon pillars. The book of Joshua even tells a story based on this false “geocentric” belief where the sun and moon stop their orbit around Earth and stood motionless in the sky for a day.

5…

The Flat Earth



The Bible constantly describes Earth as being a flat object just as the writers were convinced it was. The Bible claims that Earth has a top and a bottom, ends which can be grabbed on to, is shaped like a circle, and that people only live on the top side of it. All these stories are directly contrary to the real life scenario of a spherical planet and would only apply if the story placed such events in a flat earth scenario.

Ed.: A number of Georgia legislators actually believe that the earth is flat and any opinions to the contrary are a huge Jewish plot.





Now that you’ve been exposed to the Bible, albeit for a short time, tell us what you think? Is the world going to be destroyed by an earthquake this Sunday, right after the evening news? Let us know in the comments section.