Now find a quiet place and write your responses to the following questions:

What are three things you want to accomplish in this meeting?

Are your three goals realistic?

How can you show that you’re treating yourself and others with dignity throughout this process?

The Invitation

Springing a “family meeting” on your kids will most likely result in eye-rolling, sighing and trying to hide from you. So give everyone plenty of notice. You’ll still get the eye roll but at least you’re respecting that they may have online social plans. Here are the basics of what you want to communicate:

Tomorrow, I’d like us to meet so we can figure out [briefly describe the problem you have]. Does meeting at 7 p.m. at the kitchen table work for your schedules? [If this doesn’t work, come up with a time that does work for everyone] Don’t worry, it’s not going to go on for hours. Also, please leave your phones in another room, and I’ll do the same.

The Meeting Begins

Here’s a suggested script that you can adapt as needed, depending on the ages and circumstances in your household.

We’re going through a really hard time together, and we’re all going through it in our own ways. It’s also natural that we’re getting on each other’s nerves. Maybe this seems weird or forced but I felt like I needed structure to have this discussion.

We may disagree or have a difference of opinion but I’m going to try my best to listen and take everything you say seriously. I hope you’ll do the same.