When you vote in France, my birth country, you have to show your passport or identity card, you sign the electoral register and cast your vote in a booth, behind a curtain. Then, you put your vote in a transparent box, while an official says loudly: “[Name] has voted!” The moment is quite formal and solemn.

On Thursday at the local elections in London, no one checked my identity, there was no curtain in front of the booth and no one looked when I put my ballot paper in the polling box. But for me, it felt like a milestone and the feeling was bittersweet. After 22 years in Britain, it was my sixth vote at the local elections in this country. And, thanks to Brexit, probably my last.

In June 2016, I couldn’t vote in the referendum on the European union. My British friends living in France couldn’t either. But my Australian neighbour could. I know Australia is now competing in the Eurovision song contest, but still, it felt a bit weird that Commonwealth citizens living in the UK could vote at the referendum, despite the fact that they were no more affected by its outcome than me.

On the morning after the referendum, I was walking up Oxford Street, on my way to an interview with Tony Blair. I was doing my job, reporting about Britain, getting reactions, writing articles for my French newspaper. I watched David Cameron’s resignation in Tony Blair’s office. I was feeling numb and exhausted. But it was much more than tiredness after a night up following the results. For the first time in my career, I felt that, in a way, I was part of the news. I felt rejected.

March for a People’s Vote: campaigners call for march on Westminster to demand fresh public vote on Brexit

The referendum took place 20 years after my arrival in this country. I had been been posted in London by my then employer, Agence France-Presse, as a UK and Ireland correspondent. One of my first assignments was to report on the Dunblane shooting, where 16 children and a teacher were killed. Then, over the years, I reported on Tony Blair’s first victory at the general election; on the emergence of what would be referred to as Cool Britannia.

I covered the Northern Ireland peace process and remember the goosebumps when the Good Friday Agreement was signed. Other elections, many of them, followed. I covered royal divorces, weddings, births and deaths, the terrorist attacks in 2005 and Tony Blair’s downfall. I marvelled at this fascinating country, where the two biggest demonstrations to date in London were against the Iraq war and relaxing the fox hunting ban. Explaining the latter to my French readers was a challenge.

Then came the referendum on Brexit. Like so many observers, I thought the result would be close and that Remain would win. I was wrong. I was shocked but I wasn’t expecting to feel hurt. For 20 years, I had lived in this country, had paid my taxes, given birth to three children, paid nursery, then school fees. With my family, we had become members of a local sailing club, general committee members, spent time and energy there. We felt part of the community, our involvement was a way of giving back, of saying thank you for welcoming us. Brexit changed the narrative.

For the first time, I wonder if I am actually welcome; I look at my British friends and wonder what they feel. I remember saying to one of my neighbours how upset I was. She was surprised: “But it has nothing to do with you.”

In the past two years, I have heard that sentence over and over again. I have to disagree. It has very much to do with me. The “citizens of nowhere” made this clear.

The biggest issues facing UK on leaving EU Show all 8 1 /8 The biggest issues facing UK on leaving EU The biggest issues facing UK on leaving EU Post-Brexit immigration workers sorting radishes on a production line at a farm in Norfolk. One possible post-Brexit immigration scheme could struggle to channel workers towards less attractive roles - while another may heighten the risk of labour exploitation, a new report warns. PA The biggest issues facing UK on leaving EU Customs union A key point in the negotiations remains Britain's access to, or withdrawal from, the EU customs union. Since the referendum there has been hot debate over the meaning of Brexit: would it entail a full withdrawal from the existing agreement, known as hard Brexit, or the soft version in which we would remain part of a common customs area for most goods, as Turkey does? No 10 has so far insisted that “Brexit means Brexit” and that Britain will be leaving the customs union, but may be inclined to change its position once the potential risks to the UK’s economic outlook become clearer. Alamy The biggest issues facing UK on leaving EU Northern Ireland-Irish border Though progress was made last year, there has still been no solid agreement on whether there should be a hard border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. To ensure borderless travel on the island, the countries must be in regulatory alignment and therefore adhere to the same rules as the customs union. In December, the Conservative Party’s coalition partners, the DUP, refused a draft agreement that would place the UK/EU border in the Irish Sea due to its potential to undermine the union. May has promised that would not be the case and has suggested that a “specific solution” would need to be found. Getty The biggest issues facing UK on leaving EU Transition period Despite protests from a small number of Conservative MPs, the Government and the EU are largely in agreement that a transitional period is needed after Brexit. The talks, however, have reached an impasse. Though May has agreed that the UK will continue to contribute to the EU budget until 2021, the PM wants to be able to select which laws made during this time the UK will have to adhere to. Chief negotiator Michel Barnier has said the UK must adopt all of the laws passed during the transition, without any input from British ministers or MEPs. EPA The biggest issues facing UK on leaving EU Rights of EU citizens living the UK The Prime Minister has promised EU citizens already living in the UK the right to live and work here after Brexit, but the rights of those who arrive after Brexit day remains unclear. May insists that those who arrive during the transition period should not be allowed to stay, whereas the EU believe the cut-off point should be later. Getty The biggest issues facing UK on leaving EU Future trade agreement (with the EU) Despite this being a key issue in negotiations, the Government has yet to lay out exactly what it wants from a trade deal with the EU. Infighting within the Cabinet has prevented a solid position from being reached, with some MPs content that "no deal is better than a bad deal" while others rally behind single market access. The EU has already confirmed that access to the single market would be impossible without the UK remaining in the customs union. Getty The biggest issues facing UK on leaving EU Future trade agreements (internationally) The Government has already begun trying to woo foreign leaders into prospective trade agreements, with various high profile state visits to China, India and Canada for May, and the now infamous invitation to US President Donald Trump to visit London. However the UK cannot make trade agreements with another country while it is still a member of the EU, and the potential loss of trade with the world's major powers is a source of anxiety for the PM. The EU has said the UK cannot secure trade deals during the transition period. EPA The biggest issues facing UK on leaving EU Financial services Banks in the UK will be hit hard regardless of the Brexit outcome. The EU has refused to give British banks passporting rights to trade within the EU, dashing hopes of a special City deal. However according to new reports Germany has suggested allowing trade on the condition that the UK continues paying into the EU budget even after the transition period. Getty

A week after the referendum, my youngest son came back from school in tears because a “mate” had told him: “Froggy, go back to your country.”

My son had replied that Britain was his country too, as he had been born and raised here. When my other son crosses the path of an English schoolmate in the corridor he hears: “Apologise for the war.” My children’s father is German. The first time, it was kind of funny. The 10th time, less so.

For the past 22 years, I have been going on with life as it came. But for the first time, I wonder what the future holds. I carry on with my job, I report on every twist and turn in the endless Brexit saga. I try to step back, report the facts, but the pinch of sadness is often there. Brexit made me feel different in the country I have called home for 22 years. On Thursday, I went to vote for the last time. I will keep my polling card as a souvenir.