"I didn't want to go in my pants," a 57-year-old defecating defendant told a judge in Northampton County, explaining why he dropped his pants and pooped by the side of the road in broad daylight.

But what happened next was even more odd: The man who just had to go, identified by our sister website LehighValleyLive.com as Charles McMahon, picked up his own poop and threw it into the woods.

At this very low moment last October, he was spotted by two women who were driving by. They thought he was doing something illegal. But when they stopped and investigated, one of them stepped right into it - so to speak.

Here are more of the odious details of the case, as reported by LehighValleyLive.com:

"You were standing on the side of the road. You pulled your pants down. You picked it up and you started throwing your fecal matter around," Northampton County Judge Stephen Baratta asked at the hearing Thursday. "Tell me there's a good reason for this."

"I didn't want to go in my pants," McMahon answered.

"You must have eaten something really bad," the judge said.

On picking up his own poop and tossing it into the woods:

"Why'd you pick it up? That doesn't make sense," Baratta asked. "Why'd you get your hands dirty?"

"I don't know," McMahon said. "It's the first time it ever happened."

Defense attorney Anthony Rybak added McMahon had been drinking. McMahon admitted he had three beers.

"Oh. In the woods. You were cleaning up after yourself?" the judge asked.

On the witnesses who saw the incident:

Two women driving by that afternoon saw McMahon reaching near his rear end and pulled over because he looked suspicious.

"They saw him reach in his pants and they were afraid he was discarding something illegal," said Assistant District Attorney Tatum Wilson.

They went to the woods to see what McMahon had thrown. Unfortunately, one of them stepped in it. The charging police officer reported he smelled the evidence on her shoe.

In the end, McMahon pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and will spend six months on probation

As the DA said: "Nobody wants to go to trial and have the jury hear that story."