We took a field trip to Tampa’s Galaxy Fireworks and Phantom Fireworks stores to check out the best of this year’s awesomely weird, random and hilarious fireworks names.

Here are our favorites in the categories of:

Worst safety advice.

Fight Fire With Fire





Best way to get attacked by wildlife.

Waking Up the Gators





Scariest way to end a bachelorette party.

Ladies Night Out





Most medically concerning.

Echo In the Ear





Best way to get a reputation with your neighbors.

Bad Reputation





Most likely to incite violence.

Bare Knuckle Fighting





Best for when you need a good cry.

Tears For Fear





Most likely to cause the apocalypse.

THE END !





Best way to remind your guests how much you spent on this party.

Money Bags





Randomest cannoli reference.

Mulberry Street Mayhem





Least unexpected celebrity endorsement.

The Ultimate Man Card, featuring one of those guys from “Duck Dynasty”





Most literally illustrated metaphor .

Self-Illumination





Most likely to get you prosecuted.

Here Come Da Judge





Best way to bust pyrocumulous clouds.

Pyrocumulous Cloud Buster





Evilest, wickedest, mean and nastiest.

Evil, Wicked Mean & Nasty





Most likely to be compensating for something.

Size Matters





Worst way to calm someone down.