When my son was a toddler, we played with a set of bath whistles. They were tuneable by filling them with water, and included songs you could play on them. They were part science experiment and part playable instrument.

I played piano as a youth and so I was able to quickly play tunes on the water whistles. It was fun and I realized how I missed playing music. That was when I began thinking about how I could support my child musically as he grew older.

Music is more than practice

I once heard my friend’s daughter play. She had been playing piano for several years and eventually passed the Royal Conservatory of Music grade 10 piano examination. She is a smart, hard working girl, had good piano technique, and a strict teacher. When I heard her play, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something important was missing. She was good at the mechanics of playing the piano, but I think what was missing was enjoyment and feeling.

Practice is important, but practice is a means, not the end goal. We don’t practice an instrument to become good at practicing. We practice to enjoy the benefits of playing an instrument. If the return on our investment of time and effort is unbalanced, then we persevere but may not continue playing on our own as we mature into adults.

What are the benefits of playing an instrument?

This raises some important questions. If practice is only the means, what are we doing it for? What do we get for our hard work at practicing our instrument? I think anyone embarking on a journey of musical study should be considering these questions.

This is a subjective question and your answer may be different from mine. I believe the answer is simply that music is beautiful, and we play for our own enjoyment and the enjoyment of others.

What is music for?

There are a range of possible answers to this question. For now I would like to look at the social aspect of music. Music as a way to build connections, and bring people closer together through a shared experience.

The reason I think this is significant is that for many people today, modern music study can be solitary and lonely. Music is instantly available by just plugging in your iPod so live performers aren’t really needed. The opportunities for sharing and playing live music together are much less common than they once were.

Music wasn’t traditionally that way. When I think of what traditional folk music must of meant to people before iPods, CD players, records, and radios, I’m reminded of the role music played for characters in the autobiographical “Little House” books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. After dinner, Pa would bring out his fiddle and entertain his family. Pa’s playing was clearly a great source of joy for Laura, the author. There is one particularly funny scene when Pa played “Old Dan Tucker” for his family and dinner guest, Mr. Edwards. They played, sang, danced and laughed. It is a warm, and heartfelt scene as the family and their friend share and enjoy the music together.

Musical goals for my child

With these thoughts in mind, I came up with the following goals that I wished for my son:

Learning, practicing, and developing his skill with a musical instrument

Developing “musicality”. Music is more than mechanics. It is about expressing emotion and beauty.

Lifelong enjoyment

Positive childhood experiences

Playing together with others

Sharing one’s music with others

Supporting my child musically

At the beginning of this post I described how when I played the water whistles with my toddler son, I felt that I missed playing music. I realized that the best way that I could support my child musically would be to rediscover the joys of playing music again myself. And that’s what I did. It has been 8 years since we played with those water whistles, and my son and I have both been taking music lessons and playing for 3 years. Studying music takes effort and discipline, as most worthwhile endeavors do, but we are also mindful of the goals I described such as enjoyment, playing together and with others, and sharing by playing for others. Music these past few years has been an enjoyable and rewarding activity in our home. It has been everything that I had hoped it would be.