Ah Family Circus, no other comic lends itself so well to the complete perversion of its original intent. From Nietzsche quotes to dysfunctional scenarios, the poor Keane family has found itself in undreamed of complications. Hence, I cannot resist, and must further the exploitation.

Yes, I know, blending the writings of Lovecraft with the art of Bill Keane has been done before. Under the name of "The Nameless Dread," these comics blended the round-headed innocence of the all-American family with the bone-chilling terror conjured up by the best horror writer ever, H.P. Lovecraft. But, rumor has it that the brilliant woman behind "Nameless Dread" has since hung up her hobby, and I don't want it to ever end. Though there are probably fifty other people doing this exact same thing, I will go out on a limb of hubris and claim that I can do it the best. Mine will not be just simple Lovecraftian quotes gracing appropriate Family Circus comics! No, I intend to plumb those depths never before dreamed of by mere man. An overall plot line will be maintained throughout, and specific attention will be paid to the individual personalities (and eventual destruction of those personalities) of each family member! Not even Mr. Keane can boast such lofty purposes. Journey with me then, down the rough-hewn, cyclopean corridors of eons past, through sinister temples of ancient Babylonian deities, far beyond the realm of all that is pure, sanctimonious and sane, to the unspeakable darkness that is...The Family Sarnath!