I don’t think Madonna is handling the coronavirus lockdown very well. She posted an absolutely insane video from her bathtub about the virus.

That’s the thing about COVID-19, it doesn’t care about how rich you are, how famous you are, how funny you are, how smart you are, where you live, how old you are, what amazing stories you can tell.It’s the great equalizer, and what’s terrible about it is what’s great about it. What’s terrible about it is it’s made us all equal in many ways. And what’s wonderful about it is it’s made us all equal in many ways. Like I used to say at the end of ‘Human Nature’ every night, we’re all in the same boat and if the ship goes down we’re all going down together.

I have some notes. For starters, COVID-19 absolutely cares about how old you are. You can die if you get it and you’re young and healthy, but the odds that you die from it go up the older you are. It also matters how rich and famous you are which is why we’ve had more tests for basketball teams than we have for whatever your nearest hospital are.

Why is Madonna giving this address from her bathtub? No one has wanted to see her naked in 30 years, and even then it was more of an “I guess” situation.

Who is filming this? Did Madonna seriously pay an intern to hold an iPhone and record her rambling about how scary it is that there’s a disease rich people can get if poor people don’t have healthcare?

And who is Madonna’s plastic surgeon? Because she should get a new one. Her face looks like someone tried to smooth out a melted Barbie doll. They have Botox now, you don’t have to do that Joan Rivers slice and pull s**t anymore, Madge.