New Celtic signing Zlatan Ibrahimovic faced the press yesterday…..oh wait, thats next Fridays diary.

Odds on the Swede gracing us with his presence at Celtic Park dramatically shortened -from 80/1 down to 5/2 yesterday after a bookmaker found the Etims tweet from the other day, and after he’d already been stung with Celtic 7 Motherwell 0, he was taking no chances. Well, have you ever seen a skint bookie ?

Then the plot thickened…

And thickened…

until it finally solidified…

My wife’s a teacher and 2 boys with the surname Ibrahimovic registered in the school today.

And there was confirmation he won’t be heading to Ibrox…

Since Brendan rodgers took over as manager at Celtic, it hasn’t rained in Glasgow. could this be down to the divine intervention of Zlatan, who is the only man on earth with a direct line to the Lord himself ?

Look, at least on etims we know we talk shite. Someone else making headlines might do well to take those words on board.

After his rant on the steps of Ibrox, John “Boozer ” Brown will be having another of those mornings today;

Oh, he surpassed even his “where’s the deeds ” ovation.

When at Ibrox the other week, he was asked if he fancied doing a promotion for the sale of season tickets… which surprised even him,

but he went for it anyway…

“I think you can see by what Celtic are doing, bringing in Brendan Rodgers, they must be really worried about the situation with Rangers back in the Premiership,

Celtic have downsized over the last couple of seasons, they’ve cashed in on the big players, and because Rangers were not in the Premiership, there was only ever going to be one winner and that was Celtic.”

“Celtic fans want to keep winning titles to get to this 10 [titles in a row] that they’re looking for, which I don’t think they’ll achieve, but they’ve brought in Rodgers to keep that momentum going.

And losing the Cup final to Hibs will help them win the league!

“I think that not being in Europe could be a help. The club has been out the top league for a number of years and to them throw in Europe, and I look at teams down south who have had to play on a Thursday night, Tottenham for instance, they were fantastic and then would come back to lose on a Sunday to teams they should have been turning over.

“I’ve just felt it might not be a bad thing. The manager can focus on domestic football. I know the finances would have improved but for the manager to develop his squad, it will definitely help.

“Not playing in Europe will benefit a squad which last season was tight.

“I felt from my own experience of playing in Europe, we were going into intense games and then going into, with all due respect, the likes of Falkirk and Motherwell, and to get back up to that level, well it was the physical and mental side, there would be a lot of travelling, and getting back at four on a Thursday morning and then we were playing on the Saturday. There were no Sunday games.

“Just to get yourself back up there you might have been playing at 90 per cent, you would have been given everything but 10 per cent wasn’t there. It had been taken away from you in a midweek game.

“So I think that will be a benefit for the manager. If Rangers get into Europe next season then that would be great – but for this one focus on the domestic side of things and establish themselves back in the league.”

Oh, he’s rambling again-that bit didn’t even make sense.

What did you mean, John ?

Too late. He’s fallen asleep.

Of course, its all just a bit of media sponsored blurb to shift season books.

And with Mark Warburton still missing in action, they had to find someone to do it.

Over on the light side of the city, there’s no need for any puff pieces, as reports indicate that celtic have sold around 46,000 books already-granted they may not be reliable reports-and talks are underway to build a second stadium at Cambuslang to cater for demand. The idea is that the hoops will play the first half of games there, returning to Celtic Park after the half time break, thus allowing for the sale of over 100,000 season books at least.

With the excrement dispenser in full flow over at Ibrox, where they still genuinely think they will challenge for their 55th title in 5 years, its great to see that Celtic are just getting on with things.

Brendan Rodgers is getting on with the job of Celtic manager, and invited Scott Brown over for dinner, and a chat.

“I had dinner with Scott at my house in London and it was great to have a real good chat.

“He’s been here a long time so he’s been through good and tough times.

“So it was good to get his opinion on how things are and how it looks for him at the club.

“Obviously it was also a chance for me to introduce myself to him as the club captain and talk through my ideas and how I would like to work.

Ah, wait…

03,23 Two men were spotted walking in the centre of the carriageway. Reports from motorists indicate they were arm in arm , each in possession of what appeared to be bottles of wine. They appeared to be singing about a “broad black Brimmer ” . It also appears they knew where they were as one witness claimed they were singing about being “on the one road. ”

Officers O’ Malley and Doyle have been sent to investigate

04.11 Officers O’Malley and Doyle request assistance. They specified that Officers Coogan, Murphy and the McDonnell twins would “fucking love this ”

06.30 Officer Ryan McDonnell reports that the situation is under control, no further assistance is required, and that ” its gonna be ten in a row. It’s magic, you know ”



Well, of the papers can get away with talking shite…

But Rodgers doesn’t go for the nonsense. He said simply..

“I have spoken to a number of the players also but I’m really looking forward to June 20, the first day back in and getting to meet all the players and talking through what we want to do going forward.

“The staff will be in on and off up until that point because we’re continually working in relation to our preparation but the players’ first day is the 20th.

“Then the hard work begins and while it’s going to be a long and tough season it’s going to be an exciting one.”

Right, so we’ve the manager sorted. and he’s happy

The players, as we noted yesterday, are happy.

The support are over the moon.

But there’s a little nervousness around the Resolution 12 issue…

The Requisitioners have done their bit. The Advert in the Swiss paper has stirred the bowels of those accused …

Stewart Regan was forced to speak out, he even claimed that the Requisitioners were happy, or at least he thought they were…Auldheid clears that up for us.

A bit of clarification on Mr Regan’s statement with regard to requisitioners being happy that the licence was granted properly at 31 March.

The Resolution when written in 2013 mentioned the granting as well as administration and implementation of UEFA rules.

However in following up it quickly became evident from the rules regarding tax that whilst a liability existed at 31st March no demand to pay did. That did not turn up until 20 May.

So there was no point pursuing whether the tax was overdue as UEFA define it at 31st March. There was no happiness involved.

The concerns were around the 20 May bill that became an overdue payable as UEFA define it by mid June and it is around the process at that time Res12 concentrated.

However should the circumstances regarding the granting be fully investigated (but I doubt they will) then the skullduggery eyebrow might reach Roger Moore proportions.

but there are signs Regan is worried..

The job is half, maybe even three quarters done, and now its up to the club to show their hand.

They have all the information reuired to send to UEFA , enough to blow the SFA out of the water, and it appears they are still stalling.

Dear Celtic,

Its been a lovely summer so far. Don’t spoil it. Send the letter and tell the world you have sent it.

Signed, Ralph.

Do that, and the little fishes in the Clyde may well be overwhelmed with what comes down the pipe from Hampden.

Institutional bias is not a new thing, and aiming it at Ireland, it’s people or it’s beliefs has been around for a long time, as this picture from the now defunct Scottish umpire shows. Note the simian features of the Irishman, and the clean cut contrast of the Scot…

The second picture features St. Mungo, trying to bring together his warring sons…

some thigs will never change, unless you make them.

And now, its that time again…. it’s Friday, it’s….

but before we announce this weeks winner, here’s last weeks proud recipient of what may well go on to be the most sought after award in Scottish football…

There’s been a lot of competition again this week, as pundits , players and politicians offer a consistently high quality of entries, but the supreme effort of one man stands head and shoulders above everyone else.

You thought he couldn’t top his “where’s the Deeds? ” moment, but he has… as we outlined above.

John Brown is this weeks Etims

We’ll see if our intrepid photographer can get a picture of him receiving the award.

On to the caption competition from yesterday….

Step forward Scholzybhoy !

It’s The New Pioneers!

Think you can do better ? Well, have a look at this picture…featuring the beloved Dundee united supporter Lorraine Kelly.

And don’t be rude. she’s lovely.