Will Noble

Alternative Ways To Say Mind The Gap

Less tube passengers are minding the gap. We need some alternative ways to say it, so that people take notice.

Celeb voiceovers

Celebs lending their voices to the tube network is nothing new. Londoners are statistically 87% more likely to heed the advice of Dame Judi Dench than an unknown*. And why stop at real famous people? Let's have Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock warning people off the gap at Baker Street (which is where the problem's at its worst). A Yoda voiceover could work too ("gap the mind"). Star Wars could pay TfL through the nose for promoting their latest saga. AND it'd really wind up pedants who claim Yoda doesn't just speak in random mixed up words (does so he). Avoid William Shatner at all costs though: by the time he'd finished saying "mind the gap", you'd be in it.

Commercial sponsorship

"Mind the Gap...'s AMAZING sale on all knitwear and jeans. Must end this Wednesday." OK, it's probably not extremely helpful. But just think of the extra cash for TfL. Cash they could spend on getting rid of gaps. (Does someone at TfL want to put us in charge of their coffers?)

Yoda and the tube: match a made heaven in. Photo: Terry Moran.

Mind! The App

An app that shouts "MIND!" every time you're about to disembark a tube carriage?** A million downloads in the first day, we reckon. To those who sneer, "you clearly just worked a crap idea around a pun", we say envy is a green-eyed monster.

Don't map the gap

Commuters don't like being told what to do. Just look what happened when TfL tried to get them to stand on both sides of the escalator. If TfL trialled a caveat that ran: "Don't mind the gap" we bet we'd see an instant improvement in the stats.

Or...

You could just watch this video, and fall in love with 'mind the gap' all over again:

*Needs citation

**Also available in mild electric shock

You've got some better ideas haven't you? Let's hear them in the comments then.