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A MAN attending a Christmas Market in his hometown today will spend most of his time wondering what exactly is so festive about being gouged left, right and centre.

Father-of-two Sean O’Malley agreed to go along to the recently opened Yuletide marketplace in the small town of Killybannon, the 876th of its type to pop up in Ireland over the past week.

Hoping that the day out would ignite an old-fashioned enthusiasm for Christmas, which has been missing from his soul since he was a boy, O’Malley was instead disheartened to find nothing but overpriced shite in place of the Magical Christmas Wonderland promised by the market’s Facebook page.

“Look, I’m not a Scrooge or anything like that, but I just paid over thirty euro for four fucking hot dogs,” said O’Malley, on his one day off this week.

“And while I’m at it, what’s Christmassy about a German bratwurst anyways? Or a miserable wee bag of pick n’ mix sweets for a fiver? Half these stalls aren’t selling Christmas stuff at all, I’m starting to think that this is just a regular market that they’ve stuck a bit of tinsel on so that they could gouge families on a day out”.

Sean’s suspicions are to grow as the day goes on, as the O’Malley clan wander around the stalls selling tree decorations for nine euros apiece before bringing the kids to see Santa for a tenner a head.