This Week in Taco Bell is For the Win’s weekly roundup of Taco Bell news and the internet’s foremost source of aggregated Taco Bell content.

With the Super Bowl — and Taco Bell’s much ballyhooed Super Bowl commercial — fast approaching, this marked a big week for Taco Bell news. This Week in Taco Bell will, of course, cover all relevant stories, but I must start with the item of Taco Bell interest that occurred inside my home on Wednesday, after I returned from a week away.

Taco Bell has sent me stuff in the mail before, because you don’t write the internet’s foremost weekly Taco Bell column without landing somewhere on Taco Bell’s promotional radar. But I had no idea anything was heading my way this week, and came home to find a rather large and particularly heavy box at my door. Inside was a plain black box with a question mark on the front:

Ignore the big pile of mail in the background. My place is a mess right now. Hard to find time to straighten up when you’re getting mysterious packages from Taco Bell. Here’s what’s inside:

An attached note explained:

In case you didn’t hear, Taco Bell is about to unveil something big… and it could even be our biggest idea ever. We can’t tell you what it is because it’s a huge secret — so secret in fact that when we filmed the TV commercial we didn’t let the actors hold it — instead we gave them a green “brick” just like yours. Given you’ve been following along on this journey with us, we wanted to share more clues with you until we can provide more details about our new product. Stay tuned till February 7, where you’ll be able to see once and for all what the rave’s all about. And who knows — maybe you’ll even get a chance to try the new product before then.

Huh. There’s no indication when the box was postmarked. All I’ve got is this green brick. It’s probably about 7″ x 4″ x 2 1/2″, and weighs maybe a pound and a half. It is made from some sort of plastic, and it is extremely green.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it now. I cherish it because it came from my beloved pen pal, Taco Bell, but because I have no idea how to employ chroma-key technology, I cannot use it as apparently intended. It’s a bit ungainly to be a paperweight, but not heavy enough to work out with. This Taco Bell-furnished green brick would be extremely useful if I had any piece furniture with one leg about 3-6″ too short. I do not.

If I had about 5,000 more, maybe I could build a house entirely of electric-green Taco Bell bricks, but I only have this one brick and I don’t own any land anyway. This Old House suggests using extra bricks to weigh down tarps covering firewood, but I don’t have a wood-burning stove, or any firewood, or a tarp.

What I do have is one dope green brick from Taco Bell. I think the only reasonable solution is to display it prominently inside my apartment and declare it art. Maybe I will invite friends over and serve them wine and invite them to experience the Taco Bell brick, and we can all discuss whether its aesthetic impact comes from its form or its staging or the way in which we interact with it, and I can claim it is the work of a famous sculptor. Not Jeff Koons, though, because that guy’s a stooge.

As for that Super Bowl thing…

I still believe that the new Taco Bell thing will turn out to be the long-awaited Quesalupa, but the Mexican-inspired American fast food brand’s efforts to keep it a secret provoke at least a little suspicion that it will be something else. This might sound like a bold prediction, but I’m betting it combines meat, cheese and tortilla and tastes like most other things available at Taco Bell: Incredible.

And though the the item in question will roll out nationwide on Feb. 8, Taco Bell devotees can actually pre-order one and enjoy it at a participating location on Saturday, Feb. 6. You can sign up yourself here.

Broncos nose tackle used to work at Taco Bell

The massive fellow in the photo above is Denver Broncos nose tackle Sylvester Williams, who will participate in the Super Bowl on Sunday. And a cool feature on Williams from Alex Marvez at FOX Sports notes Williams’ history as a Taco Bell employee:

He started only one game in high school and struggled with academics, prompting Williams to enter the workforce immediately upon graduation. After part-time jobs at Taco Bell and Wal-Mart, Williams started at the same factory (Modine Manufacturing Co.) that employed his father.

The whole story is well worth reading, but that’s the only part that mentions Taco Bell. Understandably but disappointingly, Marvez focuses on Williams’ route to the Super Bowl over important issues like how much a 313-pound person can put away at Taco Bell, what new Taco Bell innovations he and his co-workers invented while getting creative in the Taco Bell kitchen, and whether bored Taco Bell employees ever turn the sour-cream guns on each other.

Taco Bell lasagna: A thing

This video from Foodbeast is beautiful and mesmerizing:

I don’t want to comment on the video because it is a perfect work that stands on its own, and one I could never do justice with my pitiful words. But as for how Taco Bell lasagna tastes: Creator Elie Ayrouth writes, “every last bite was magical.”