Hello reddit,

I have a really strange problem and I was wondering if anyone had any advice to offer. To be quite honest, I am stuck. Despite it being a unique situation, I’d like to keep some details private.

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and recently he has decided to learn my native tongue.I have spent my childhood and the beginning of my teen years in my home country and the rest in the UK. I like to think I am great at both of my ‘native’ languages.

He started learning it about 3 months ago and he has an okay grasp at the language, but not great as he is still a beginner and my language isn’t easy. He has recently taken the jump from reading to practicing light conversation. Admittedly, his pronunciation isn't the best and this is where the problem begins. I'd like to state that I think his pronunciation is okay for his learning level, but that isn't the problem.

The problem is that he thinks that my grasp of my language has deteriorated and that he knows how to pronounce words much better than I do. He has started to interrupt my phone calls with friends and family saying that I have mispronounced a word and I should be saying it what he thinks is the correct way instead. When I take him to my parents' flat, he also has started to tell my family to their faces, that their pronunciation is wrong...

He also had decided that he will get into my culture more and has started to try and have more of my cuisine too. As people from all over the world may know, different families have different takes on 'authentic' dishes right? Well, not according to him. He has told me that a dish I was making for myself was wrong. He has told my mother that her take on a certain dish was okay but not great, because it was missing what he considered to be the true version of something.

Despite being from a strict culture, my parents have been nothing but accepting of him from the beginning and have enjoyed his company up until this point. Ever since he has started to trying to "help" my family, friends and myself "relearn" the language with him, my parents refuse to speak with him until he apologises for being disrespectful to them and to me. I don't think my mum is fully over the food incident either. :(

Anyway, before this gets too long... he has never really been like this? I don't really know what to even say. I have told him on multiple occasions since then that he has to remember that there are different accents and that native speakers speak a more 'rushed' version of the language and that if he wants, I can help him with pronunciation but he told me that mine is wrong, his app is correct, that I am out of practice and that he loves me, but because he is newer to the language, his ear for it is more fresh than mine... whatever that means.

I'm considering actually splitting over this, lol. He has been so rude to me and my friends and my family. He refuses to listen to actual natives and keeps telling me that everything I say or do is wrong.

TL;DR: My boyfriend has started to learn my language but he also wants me to relearn it because he thinks he has an ear for the language as a beginner... he has told me, my friends and my family that our pronunciation is wrong as well as other nitpicks at our culture. Refuses to listen and relationship is rapidly crumbling...

Please help and thank you for reading.

Update: I will talk to him tomorrow and let him know how this all makes me feel and that I consider this to be a deal breaker. Hopefully it goes okay...