Written by Trevor

I got the new version of Dwarf Fortress today… I was patient for the past two years, waiting for DF2010, and the last couple weeks, waiting for the Mac Version.

I download the package, shove in the Mayday graphics, take them out again due to crashes, and “Create a New World”.

I pick a spot with some mountain and forest tiles, and strike the earth!

Now I’ve played Dwarf Fortress on and off for a couple years, since just before its creator started work on DF2010 back in 2008. I know about building a fortress, tantrum spirals, and making a pyramid out of kitten fat soap. I didn’t want to waste time on all that crap, I wanted to see the NEW stuff, NOW!

My fingers twitch with glee at the 140 z-levels below the surface of the hill I’ve embarked on. Tunneling down, I find my first new feature.





Wow! Cool! This place is HUGE! Alright, Dwarves, start carting food down there, we’re taking over this cave! Screw digging our own fortress, this is way cooler than anything I could make!

Alright, we’ll dig a new staircase through that pillar, and the workshops will go over here… oh, what’s this?

Cool a Troll! Let’s kill it! A bit of fiddling with the new military menu, and all 7 dwarves are chanting, “KILL TROLL! KILL TROLL!”





The dwarves manage to bruise a lot of body parts, and bust open a horn… but the troll’s bones are far too sturdy for the novice wrestlers to crack.

After a long fight, the troll takes down a couple dwarves, but seven dwarves is a lot for one troll to handle, and soon the troll is fleeing the bearded menaces.

Man, that guy moves fast! My dwarves can hardly keep up with the huge strides by the grey-haired, black-skinned horned troll.

Suddenly, the troll gets CAUGHT in a SPIDER WEB!

It halts Mrs. Troll long enough for the Dwarves to uselessly latch on, trying to injure it enough to bring it to the ground.

Nothing works, though, the troll is simply to strong and too large.

The Dwarves remain in forced pursuit, running around the cavern for a half hour, chasing the behemoth that keeps stupidly getting caught in several more spider webs. I’m pretty sure the troll is way less injured then he was a couple minutes ago. This could be a long, tiresome battle with Mrs. Magical-healy troll.

Finally, the Troll makes a mistake, tumbling down a shallow drop of 3 z-levels, spraying its blue blood all over the wall.

My heroic Dwarves jump the fallen Troll, beating its face in with their bare fists. The Troll still refuses to die. After a couple minutes of constant punishment, I find myself yelling at the tiny ‘T’ on the screen, “GIVE INTO PAIN! GIVE INTO PAIN!”

FINALLY the beast does. I breathe a sigh of relief, and find that my whole body was tensed and battle-ready during the final part of the combat.

I relax, and let my dwarves out of their military squad. I smirk when I see that they’re still chanting “KILL TROLL! KILL TROLL!”

One dwarf, a fish dissector, lay unconscious, bleeding and broken, the rest of the dwarves only suffer minor injuries.

Excited about making this cavern more hospitable, now that the foul troll guarding it was slain, I start designating ramps and a quarry section.

Then suddenly…

OH SHI-

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