Well, I haven’t written anything for a few weeks. College is a time-suck, and I have had so much going on in classes lately, making this blog I started the last thing on my mind. Since I’m on the topic, let me tell you about how college is for me.

I am a freshman in college, and misophonia has truly made it a living hell for me. I was used to suffering occasionally in high school from the gum smackers and what not, but that doesn’t even come close to what I’ve experienced this past year as a college student.

First of all, no matter what time of day it is, someone is always eating in lecture. For whatever reason, it’s like these people are drawn to me. It’s like I have a big sign over my head that reads: “Please, eat right next to me so I can hear every single crunch and smack your mouth is making.” I once ended up directly between two girls eating apples- I was almost in tears because I couldn’t get away from the noise. The other day in class, there was a girl sitting behind me eating celery, and a guy in front of me cracking his gum every 30 seconds or so. I wanted to scream. I also had a professor (that I no longer have, thank God) who would slurp from a water bottle directly into his microphone. He would kind of mumble when he talked and usually didn’t say that much into the mic anyway, but he MADE SURE that we could all hear him slurping his water. Gee, thanks, professor. There’s other things in class that get on my nerves, too- people rustling wrappers around (you know, trying to open things “quietly” but taking forever to do it), people bouncing their feet (me, screaming in my head, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SIT STILL!), girls twirling their hair around endlessly, pencil tapping- the list goes on and on (and on and on and on…). The visual triggers are some of the worst. Even though I can’t hear anything, they still trigger the same reactions as the audio ones, and I find myself staring at whatever the repetitive movement is until it stops. I’ve also found that if I can see someone way across the room from me chewing their gum like a cow, it still drives me insane. There is also a girl in one of my classes that always seems to sit in front of me and constantly picks/scratches at her scalp the entire time. Again, I can’t hear this, but it drives me up the wall. Plus, it’s kind of gross. Overall, all of these things make lecture hell for me, and cause me to dread going to class, which obviously isn’t a good thing.

I also live in the dorms which I love so much. Just kidding, I hate it. I do have a single room, so I don’t have to deal with a loud-chewing roommate or anything (one of the main reasons I wanted my own room), but I have a next door neighbor that I absolutely cannot stand. He plays music very loudly at all hours of the day, and he also is a “musician” (I put this in quotes because I don’t really find him all that talented…). He occasionally plays bongo drums, which is wonderful background noise for when I’m trying to study… oh wait, not quite. He also plays ukulele for HOURS on end. Now, I do have a handful of songs on iTunes with ukulele, and the instrument has never particularly bothered me, but the endless amounts of ukulele that I head through the wall drive me absolutely crazy. I want to go into his room and throw it out the window. Or into the lake. Or down the stairs. Or at his head (just kidding). I have talked to my RA about this, and he’s talked to him in the past, but it has never really helped. I’d love to tell me RA about my misophonia so maybe he would understand why it bothers me so much, but I don’t think he’d get it. My RA plays guitar, and I have overheard him talk to this guy about his ukulele-playing before and how cool he thinks it is… so I don’t think my complaining really does any good. So, what do I do? I pretty much have ear plugs in whenever I am in my room and my neighbor is also in his because I’m pretty sure he can’t be in there without making noise. I hear him open the door, and 2 minutes later the music starts. When it stops, I hear him leave shortly after. I’ve learned to put ear plugs in immediately when I hear his door open. My neighbor’s constant noise has brought me to tears many times, sometimes in front of my boyfriend who doesn’t totally understand, but will at least hold me until it’s over (I’m glad he doesn’t think I’m totally crazy).

All in all, this is not an all-inclusive list of the hundreds of triggers I have experienced since being at college, or all of the annoying things my neighbor does, but I hope it gives you at least a little bit of an idea of what I go through on a daily basis. I hate living in the dorms, but unfortunately, I will be doing it again next year. Fingers crossed I have a quiet neighbor so I don’t go through as many ear plugs…

If anyone is actually reading this and has any suggestions about how to deal with misophonia in college, I’d love to hear any of them. I don’t know what else I can do but wear ear plugs in my room when my neighbor is obnoxious, but when it comes to class- I need suggestions. I have a couple white noise apps (hence the title of this blog) that I listen to occasionally when waiting for class to start, but I have never left my headphones in during class because I feel like people will look at me funny or the professor will notice and think I’m being rude. I’ve also considered wearing ear plugs to class as well, but I haven’t tried it yet. Although, I have worn them during tests before since the constant background sniffing, shuffling of paper, and pencil clicking is maddening. So, if you really are reading this and have any ideas for me on how to survive the three years of college I have left, please… help me.