If you're like most people, you've probably never heard of Axe Cop. But if you're any person ever, you should head over to AxeCop.com before reading on to see the brand new action figure line from Mezco Toyz.

You're about to see some crazy things, but keep in mind that they're all from the mind of a five year old and illustrated by an older brother in his mid-twenties. So there's a valid excuse for their weirdness/awesomeness.

Up first of course is the webcomics' titular character Axe Cop. Although simple and cartoony in its stylized design and standard 5-point articulation model, there's still something awfully cool about this hunk of plastic. I won't pretend to know what the various accessories are for (beyond the axe, of coure), but I'm glad Mezco is including as much as they're able to cost out instead of cutting corners.

And for the secondary characters, we'll start with what is clearly a unicorn avocado. I was just as mystified as you might be, so I pulled this biography.

After getting a job at fruit stand with Axe Cop (episode 3), Dinosaur Soldier (formerly Flute Cop) ate an avocado and it turned him into Avocado Soldier. Later, he confiscated the horn of uni-baby and became Uni-Avocado Soldier.

Makes sense to me. And frankly, the design is so unique, I couldn't care less about the reason it exists. I'll take my unicorn avocados no questions asked.

Because when it comes to wonky characters, none are wonkier than the one below. I'd like to introduce you to Dr. Doo Doo's Doody Soldier. I don't even want to imagine the kind of person who will undoubtedly army build this figure. Despite its fecal nature, it's a really well sculpted piece with a cool accessory and a really fun "clenching" facial expression. The Doody Soldier even includes a scale Dr. Doo Doo mini figure.

There's also Baby Man, doing his best Travolta impression. I think this will be the first figure in my collection with buttons for nipples. There's always a first for everything.

And finally there's Wexter, the prize of the bunch. If you don't want a beautifully detailed and textured T-Rex figure with gatling gun arms and a pair of sunglasses, I simple can't call you a friend. This is a stupendously gorgeous figure, and it's as fun as it gets.

There will also be a pair of plush figures based on Wexter and Uni-Avocado Soldier released this year, and you can see them below. This is your first chance to squeeze a horny avocado, and who could pass that up?

Two weeks ago I couldn't have imagined wanting an Axe Cop line of figures. But through the first day of Toy Fair, they're one of my most vivid memories of the show. Now I can hardly wait to grab a set. With all the major licenses out there, Mezco Toyz managed to take a small one, create a cool product, and steal a bit of the limelight for a lot of show attendees like myself.