That should do the trick. But if the president argues that the jars are harmless or merely kitsch, send her a link to the Jim Crow Museum of Racist Memorabilia at Ferris State University. Our country has produced — and continues to make — troves of racist objects. Her collectibles are no exception.

Image Credit... Christoph Niemann

Too Close

My mother-in-law and her boyfriend purchased a home in our small neighborhood, despite our stated objections. We are socially active with our neighbors, and my mother-in-law told us that they intend to be, too. I anticipate lots of well-intentioned questions about their arrival. Is there a polite way to say that their move was made against our wishes? Pretending to be happy about it compounds my irritation and makes me feel disingenuous.

ANONYMOUS

I totally get your annoyance. But fortunately, you will not be testifying in front of Robert Mueller (or otherwise under oath) when you answer your neighbors’ questions about your in-laws. Better to be opaque than poison the well against family members in advance. (I might feel differently if your neighbors were close friends.)

Say, “We’ll see how it goes.” And try to mean it. Your mother-in-law and her boyfriend seem unconcerned with honoring boundaries. On the other hand, who are you to prevent them from buying their dream home? Now that the moving vans are pulling up, focus on creating respectful barriers between your households. (Visits by appointment only!) And if you’re going to say anything about your new neighbors to the old ones, aim for optimism.

Divided by Dogs

We’ve had two good friends move within a four-hour radius of our house. We were thrilled about it and looked forward to having them over for weekend visits. When we invited our first friend, he asked if he could bring his dog. We said no. He declined our invitation. The same thing happened with our second friend. She cited the expense of a dog sitter, even though she does very well financially. Is there a way to encourage our friends to visit without their dogs?