If you’re a straight woman who’s been watching the latest season of Orange Is the New Black, chances are that you felt a surprising (not unpleasant) ping! in your nether regions upon arrival of new inmate Stella, played by Ruby Rose. That’s cool! Sexuality exists on a spectrum! Feast your eyes on whomever you choose! But let’s try not to be so braggy and self-congratulatory about it, okay? Being attracted to Ruby Rose doesn’t make you open-minded or edgy. Being attracted to Ruby Rose makes you a person with functioning eyes.


A quick Google search proves that Ruby Rose has become the latest name on the shortlist of female celebrities who straight girls can safely admit to having the hots for without ever experiencing the judgement that bisexual and lesbian women deal with on a regular basis.


Karrueche Tran posted the following meme to Instagram, along with the caption “I’m not straight anymore. I’m not confused. I’m ready :) ”

To quote a classic episode of Sex and the City, “Sweetheart, that’s all very nice, but if you’re not going to eat pussy, you’re not a dyke.”

An OITNB fan Twitter account shared the same meme:




Type “Ruby Rose” and “crush” into the Twitter search bar and you’ll find an endless number of straight girls boasting about their crushes on Rose, which would be cool (and great proof that sexual orientation isn’t as fixed) if it wasn’t so goddamn disingenuous.

Homosexuality and bisexuality aren’t identities that you get to try on for a day to show off how liberal and down you are. They’re identities that are built into a person’s biology. So, please, while you—a straight girl—are free to have a crush on whomever you want, do everyone a favor and calm the fuck down. You don’t get a cookie for finding a woman attractive.


Contact the author at madeleine@jezebel.com .