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The Houston Astros just announced they will be holding a public ring ceremony on March 27th to celebrate their 2019 American League Championship Series win. Seriously. This is actually happening. Now.

Whoever is running the Astros’ crisis management progam should be fired and never, ever get any kind of job in public relations again.

The Astros announced in a press release on Wednesday…

The Astros will celebrate their American League Championship on Thursday, March 26 – Sunday, March 29 during their Championship Weekend. On March 26, the Astros will reveal the ALCS pennant and all fans will receive a 2020 Schedule Magnet presented by United Airlines. The Astros will have their ring ceremony on March 27 and all fans will receive a replica ALCS Trophy presented by Coca-Cola. Fans can also enjoy postgame Friday Night Fireworks presented by ConocoPhillips. On March 28, Justin Verlander and Yordan Alvarez will be presented with their Cy Young and Rookie of the Year awards and all fans will receive American League Champions replica rings presented by Chevrolet. In the series finale on March 29, Alex Bregman, Zack Greinke and George Springer will be presented with their Silver Slugger awards and Greinke will also receive his Gold Glove award. All fans will also receive a Jose Altuve ALCS MVP Bobblehead presented by Coca-Cola.

Wow. So much to unpack, expecially Alex Bregman getting his Silver Slugger Award.

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Also, don’t know about you, but I fully expect 20 to 30,000 replica ALCS trophies and Jose Altuve ALCS MVP bobbleheads to end up on the field at some point during the game on March 27th.

I am also guessing that any headline celebrating these awards will hold up just about as well as this one from 2018 following the Astros’ World Series win*.

Previously…

• MLB Scout Says League Will Need ‘Riot Teams, SWAT’ To Protect The Astros In Their First Game At Yankees Stadium

• Red Sox Star J.D. Martinez Says Mike Fiers Warned Him About The Astros’ Cheating Before The 2018 ALCS

• Houston Astros File 26-Page Response To The First Of 7 Lawsuits: ‘Rule Infractions Will Occur During The Games’

• Astros Owner Jim Crane Sends Desperate-Sounding Letter To Season Ticket Holders Vowing To ‘Make Houston Proud Again’

• Astros Owner Jim Crane Actually Thought The Sign-Stealing Scandal Would ‘Blow Over’ By Spring Training: Report

• Astros Player When Asked How Things Are Going In Their Clubhouse Right Now: ‘It’s A (Bleeping) Mess’

• Alex Bregman Said In October His Favorite ‘Unwritten Rule’ Of Baseball Is Players Getting Drilled For ‘Stupid Stuff’

• Astros GM Admits Employees Tied To ‘Codebreaker’ Sign-Stealing Program Are Still Employed By The Team

• Mike Trout, Kris Bryant, Vlad Guerrero Jr. And More MLB Stars Make Bold Statements About Astros Scandal

• MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred Passes The Buck Explaining Why He Didn’t Strip Astros Of World Series Title

• Angels Pitcher Goes On Epic Rant That Perfectly Encapsulates How Bad This Season Is Going To Be For Astros Players

• Carlos Beltran Reportedly ‘Steamrolled’ Any Astros Players Who Disagreed With The Team’s Sign-Stealing Scheme

• New Catalog Featuring Astros’ Alex Bregman Is Getting Destroyed For The Ironic Slogan On The Cover

• Agent Scott Boras Incredibly Says Houston Astros Players Shouldn’t Apologize For Sign-Stealing Scandal

• Wondering Why Astros Players Weren’t Punished By MLB? They Reportedly ‘Didn’t Know They Were In The Wrong’

• Former A’s Teammate Says Mike Fiers Told MLB Astros Began Cheating In 2014, Continued Into 2019

• 1993 Cy Young Winner Jack McDowell Says Tony LaRussa Stole Signs Using A Camera With The White Sox In The 1980s

• ESPN’s Jessica Mendoza Is Getting Dragged For Her Horrible Take That Mike Fiers Shouldn’t Have Outed The Astros

• Pete Rose Goes On Rant About Why The Astros’ Cheating Is Way Worse Than Him Betting On Baseball Games

• Mike Clevinger Puts Astros Pitcher Lance McCullers In A Body Bag After He Tries To Clap Back About Cheating