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Straight out of retro gates. reLINE Software’s “Biing!” is an adult/erotic hospital strategy/management game, and it’s similar in quite a few ways to “Theme Hospital”, although Biing focuses much more on the management side, and as such plays much slower as a result.

In addition to this, “Biing!” is played out in 2D over many (very slightly) animated screens, and as such feels somewhat inferior to the later “Theme Hospital”.

However, the passage of time hasn’t really been kind to this game either – graphically, it’s nice, but everything is very simplified in terms of animations.

Let me put it like this, some of the game’s graphics are very Benny Hill:ish. However, don’t get your expectations up, because the visuals won’t get any pulses racing (at least not for the most part).

Furthermore, there is little sense of progression in the game: No notice on how long it takes to get your first patients or how long diagnosis takes and so on, which makes everything feel rather slow and laborious – you just have to wait.

As for the actual object of the game. Well, the main object of “Biing!” is to build and maintain a hospital, and deal with all the whacky patients and their absurdly named problems, and as such, you have a day to make a profit.

So to that end you need to hire doctors, nurses, cleaning staff and so on, as well as rent (or buy) land which is then used for different aspects of the hotel.

This is all done through moving between screens, and just waiting for something to complete. There is little in the way of any real interaction – you can’t choose where you would like things built or watch patients move around.

Other than that, your patients have to be managed as well (telling them to either wait in reception or be kicked out), and then assigned to a doctor. Once a diagnosis has been performed you then select the treatment, and after a while, prise the fee out of the now-well patient.

It doesn’t stop there though, because there is certainly a lot of things that need to be managed…And that includes everything from personnel, admin, reception, storeroom, waiting room and so on, each of which requires someone to be assigned to it in.

As a matter of fact, it’s one of the many fiddly parts of the game unfortunately…As you need to click over someone in order to gain access to the menu screen. Moving around the whole site is fiddly (as again, it’s going through highlighted options), but you do get used to it.

So much so that the game time moves along fairly, with a clock in the bosses office, showing the current game time. When that reaches midnight, if you haven’t made a profit, then it’s game over.

On a positive note though. There are some nice tunes in the game. Sound effects consist mainly of German office background noises, and that’s about it.

So if you want a slow, pondering and somewhat fiddly management game, then “Biing!” is up for the job. However, if you’re looking for a more “Theme Hospital” type of game, then this game wouldn’t be suitable.

Pros:

+ Nice graphics, but very simple animations.

+ Hot babes and nice erotic content.

+ The game’s music is pretty good.

+ Diseases, prognosis and such like are funny.

+ Comes with the German version of the sequel.

Cons:

– The game is slow to play (especially at the start) and very pedestrian.

– Patient gender and descriptions don’t always match up.

– There is no real sense of achievement.

– Patient pictures seem to have been taken from films and TV.

Gameplay: 3/5

Graphics: 3/5

Sound and music: 3/5

Controls: 3/5

Replay value: 3/5

Story: 3/5

Verdict: 3/5

“Biing!: Sex, Intrigue and Scalpels” kicks-off with an introduction sequence that has absolutely nothing to do with the game…And that’s when you know that you’ve got one hell of a weird game with “Biing!”.

Anyways, “Biing!” is a game that’s reserved for those who really like simulations and don’t mind a lot of waiting around. I mean, sure the clunky interface is something you get used to, and the graphics are nice, but it’s all so pedestrian. So “Biing!” might not be your cup of tea if you can’t stand any of these things.

Title: Biing!: Sex, Intrigue and Scalpels

Developer: reLINE Software

Format: PC

Genre: Retro softcore Strategy/management

Resolution: Program default

Release date: 1995-01-01

Difficulty: User-defined

Spent time:+ 2 hours

Average grade internationally: N/A Metacritic.com

PEGI age rating: 18+

Price: 5.77 Euros via GOG

Credit:

Robin Ek – Editor

***Disclosure***

We (TGG) are a part of the GOG family, and we may receive a profit cut out of your purchase via the GOG links in this post. We were also given a review code for this game.



Nicholas Kingsley

The Gaming Ground

Twitter: @sku_te

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Tags: Adult Games, Biing!, Erotic games, Intrigue and Scalpels, Lewd, PC review, reLINE Software, Retro games, Sex