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IT’S the latest craze in exfoliation and make-up… but are you paying too much for your Charcoal face masks? Experts have revealed that you may be able to save yourself a fortune by simply wetting your face with water form the tap and sticking your face in a coal scuttle, WWN can reveal.

With charcoal now worth more than gold when it comes to beauty, WWN scientists have found that the quite-expnsive ingredient can be sourced for much less around the home, from such common fossil fuels as coal, briquettes, those little BBQ nugget things, and even just a big pile of used matches.

In fact pretty much any cosmetic or sanitary product, from body wash to toothpaste, can be cheaply recreated from a big sack of ashes that you can get by burning down almost any tree, according to economist Daniel McAdams.

“It’s the greatest scam since baking soda in toothpaste” cried McAdams, speaking at the launch of his new book “Never Get Ripped Off By Teenagers On Instagram Again”.

“And see that Skinny Tea? That’s just something that gives you the shits, is what that is. Folks, if it sounds like bullshit, it normally is. Charcoal face masks? Ha! I’ve used Bord Na Mona turf on my skin for the last six months and look at it now! Granted, it’s fucked, but you should have seen it six months ago!”

If you would like to purchase some briquettes, click the link in our bio and enter the promo code ‘WWN’ to avail of a one-time discount of 20% on your first 500 bales.