By Guillermo O'Rourke

Power Rankings, largely based on an accumulation of data.

22. New York Red Bulls

We're not going to dwell on the fact that the New York Red Bulls' name and overall concept sounds like something from the "Idiocracy" universe. We aren't going to bring up the fact that their franchise's greatest accomplishments comprise of making it to the 2008 MLS Cup Final (where they lost to The Columbus Crew) and making it to the 2015 Eastern Conference Finals (where they lost to Columbus Crew SC), along with a smattering of MEANINGLESS Supporters' Shields. We certainly aren't going to poke fun at the fact that their technical staff takes marching orders from their parent company, which, again, is a freakin' energy drink! Damn, it looks like we're about to hit our charac

21. SC Bastia Supporters

Every once in awhile, we like to check in on Ligue 1 (pronounced LEE-guh OO-nuh with a smug French accent) to try to be first on any hip new trends that are sure to make their way across the pond. You see, French soccer supporters are a bit more refined and dignified and -- just kidding. They can be every bit the cretins as your run-of-the-mill NYCFC ULTRAs, as SC Bastia backers demonstrated last weekend when they rushed the pitch to mug Memphis Depay. Must've had a few salty Man U supporters in there egging 'em on, amirite!?!?

20. Steve Clark's Support

In our humble opinion, Steve Clark shouldered an unfair amount of blame for [REDACTED]. We're glad to see he's still playing for a yellow soccer team and having some success in Denmark this season. Clearly, though, he's still not getting much help from his defensive front, as evidenced by the unconscionable 'megging he was forced to recompense for last weekend.

19. Tim Howard's Potty Mouth

The Colorado Rapids keeper was suspended three games after having a back-and-forth with a Sporting Kansas City supporter that was caught on video, because everything is. We won't repeat his exact words because these are family power rankings, but they were along the lines of an offer to take said supporter's mother out to a nice seafood dinner and never call her again. If there's a silver lining, maybe El Pato Howard was just projecting his frustration on Dom Leroux-Dwyer when things got heated between the two potential USMNT compatriots after the game.

18. Barron Trump: Little Full-Kit Wanker