WPLN is reporting that, along with other law enforcement officials, Knoxville Police Chief David Rausch is opposed to wine in grocery stores. In his case, though, he's doing a little hilarious fear-mongering.

Knoxville Police Chief David Rausch says alcohol already causes widespread problems. He gives the example of a UT frat party where a student nearly died from ingesting boxed wine through his rectum, known as “butt chugging.” “I was asked, ‘well they got it from a liquor store?’ Well yeah, but if you’re going to make it even more accessible, that incident is not going to be isolated.”

This is hilarious. Apparently we're supposed to believe that there's some huge amount of young people in Tennessee who would love to butt-chug but, for some reason, they can't go into a liquor store, so they are refraining from butt-chugging until they can shop at Kroger? Like there's a bunch of college students who are all, "Oh, I was going to butt-chug, but if I can't use my Kroger card, forget it"? I mean, how does Chief Rausch even say this with a straight face?

How many instances of butt-chugging made the national news last year? One. And it happened in a state without wine in grocery stores. I mean, if we look around and see that all the states that had wine in grocery stores managed to avoid national embarrassment through frat-boy butt-chugging, doesn't that argue in favor of wine in grocery stores?