Branson, MI (The Catholic Times) — In the early hours of December 2nd, Joey Annias, was found drenched in freshly ejaculated semen in the seminary of his local church by his parents. At first the parents thought some gay atheist faggots did this, but they soon noticed that Joey was no longer blind. This lead them to believe that it was clearly an act of God and a miracle after Bishop Cooksucer came forward as the person responsible for this miracle.

He said: “In a vision I had a few years ago where Jesus, God, and The Holy Spirit came down to me from Heaven and began to ejaculate all over my face is when I knew I could heal children with my holy semen, Joey proves this.”

Although this is the first time Cooksucer has been successful with his holy semen, it has lead to scientists to rethink how they understand modern medicine. The event has also caught the attention of the Vatican who are recognizing this as miracle and will likely make Cooksucer a saint after he ascends into heaven.

After the Vatican’s response parents of disabled children across the country are traveling to Branson, Missouri hoping Bishop Cooksucer can heal their children.

One parent who’s boy was healed said: “I was a little skeptical at first, but when I saw the passion and determination in his eyes I could tell he had the light of God inside of him and that he would be able to cure my son’s cold.”

Many catholic priests across the country have come forward saying they have had similar visions and say that any catholic priest who has had these visions can heal young boys with their semen.

Jim Hardon, The Catholic Times, December 3 2011