San Francisco has the lowest percentage of kids of any major U.S. city. But some families stay, and many love it

"Where have all the children gone?" in San Francisco A recent New York Times story asks. "Where have all the children gone?" in San Francisco A recent New York Times story asks. Photo: Alley Kat Photography/Getty Images Photo: Alley Kat Photography/Getty Images Image 1 of / 1 Caption Close San Francisco has the lowest percentage of kids of any major U.S. city. 1 / 1 Back to Gallery

The New York Times published a story over the weekend reporting that San Francisco has the lowest percentage of kids of any major U.S. city.

The story titled "Where have all the Children Gone?" doesn't reveal anything any parent raising a city kid in the 21st century doesn't already know. Confronted with high-priced housing and a difficult-to-navigate education system, droves of new parents move from San Francisco to the suburbs to buy a home with a backyard and send their kids to a neighborhood public school.

In numbers, the mass exodus translates into a city with only 13 percent of its population under 18 years old. By comparison, youth make up 21 percent of the population in New York and 23 percent in Chicago.

As a mother of three kids in San Francisco, I'm familiar with this trend because my years of parenting have been filled with heartbreak over saying goodbye to fleeing families we grew close to through playgroups, preschool, the neighborhood.

We hugged our preschool friend Amelia goodbye before her family relocated across the Bay in Albany. My daughter and I cried our eyes out as we watched the moving van drive away from Alex, Izzy and Sammy's house on our block.

I was elated when one of my dearest friends finally had a baby, but crestfallen when she decided to move to Lafayette before her son started preschool. I'd assumed her son would grow up with my kids. Same thing happened with another best friend who fled for Mill Valley.

My heart eventually numbed to the the mass exodus and I now approach new friendships in the way an Army brat might at her third high school. I'm eager to meet new people but hesitant to get too close to protect myself from future partings.

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Back in 2005 in a San Francisco Magazine article, Leslie Crawford, an S.F. mom who had only one toddler at the time, wrote about the same anguish she felt losing many friends to the suburbs.

Crawford's article occupied playground chatter among S.F. parents for weeks because so many could relate to the unnerving feeling of raising kids in a community where everyone was leaving or talking about leaving and constantly questioning whether the city was a suitable place to raise children.

I decided to circle back with Crawford as I knew she stayed in the city and I was curious how she was feeling about family life in San Francisco. Crawford now has two kids, ages 11 and 19, and she and her husband run Urban Putt, the Mission restaurant serving up a unique combination of pub grub and miniature golf.

We talked about the uncertainty that S.F. parents feel raising kids in the city, especially in the early years, and then typically once your child enters kindergarten, your friends start to stick around.

"Once people can commit, have a house, are able to find an OK school, then those suburban dreams might subside," Crawford said. "Of course, we're talking about a specific socioeconomic subset of San Francisco."

For Crawford, the parenting thing really started to click when her kids became tweens.

"Once your kid, reaches 12, you are free," she said. "You're no longer the permanent Uber driver. They start getting to ride public transportation and they become independent."

She added: And of course, everything the city has to offer and all the culture is a huge plus. I think there's so much going on in the city and it can distract kids from drugs. I've heard there are drugs everywhere in the suburbs."

Crawford had many positive things to say about raising kids in the city, and I decided to reach out to my other friends who've committed to staying here to see what they had to say.

The Times story and many other stories focus on the the parents who pick up their kids and run for the Marin hills. But what about those parents who stay? What's their story? Here's what some of those committed to the city have to say.

We've stayed in SF because it's such a vibrant place to raise children. No matter what your child's interest -- sculpture, geocaching, Shakespearean theater -- there is a class and/or a club for them. Plus being able to enjoy the outdoors all year long is amazing. History, culture, great dining, great movie houses, great natural beauty; I'm having a perfectly wonderful time introducing my 11-year-old to everything that makes this city great. Oh and -- great public transportation means she can take herself anywhere she wants and needs to go; I'm not stuck driving her around. —Joyce Slaton Lollar, S.F. mom We live in SF and have no desire to move. —Iris Hu, S.F. mom Not considering leaving and I don't feel like I'm "sticking it out," because of the tremendous benefits of living in the city. I grew up in the suburbs and I'm happier in the city. —Jennifer Waits, S.F. mom The city offers the kids: 1. An exposure to true diversity as the suburbs tend to be a bit more homogeneously organized per area. 2. The city offers engaging activities. As an example I live in the mission where I've taken my kid to Dance Mission, ODC Dance, Red Poppy for theater, et cetera. 3. Contrary to thinking that kids will be more exposed to drugs in the cities, I think that because they are more engaged with interesting activities such as the ones mentioned above, they less likely to do drugs. 4. You don't have to drive everywhere so you get a chance to exercise and explore the city on foot with your kids. 5. Kids will leave in cities why not then growing comfortable with them.... I could keep on going. I love the countryside and we like to do so as much as we can and would love to have a place in the countryside but for me a suburb is an in between in which you have to drive a lot. —Carmen Cordovez, S.F. mom We will never leave SF. There is no other city, town or country that has the beautiful and ever-changing diverse landscape of our city. The rest are dead and dying. —S.F. dad Kevin Chanel I think my kids are interesting and have a compassionate world view having been raised in SF and attended public school. They have been exposed to so many different people and have been able to access amazing cultural and arts institutions. —Sandra Halladey, S.F. mom I had a very interesting ski lift conversation with a man who thought it shocking and appalling that I would raise my children in the city. I was raised in San Francisco and feel proud to be raising a second generation of San Franciscians. It's one thing to teach your children about diversity, the LGBTQ community and having choices. I think growing up in this city you are exposed to a visual cultural landscape that forms you and makes you more liberal than any textbook or conversation can. —S.F. mom Cary Cronholm Rose As my kids' public school mantra stated, the city is the campus. They are exposed to museums, diversity, homelessness, nature, naked penises (hello Castro and 17th St!), 100,000-people marches and everything in between. And once they get their (free!) Clipper card, they develop an independence and street smartness that their suburban counterparts don't. My kids are teenagers now and we never thought once about leaving. Good burritos and dim sum helps. —S.F. mom Meesha Halm

Are you raising kids in the city? What makes it a great place for families?