[ Cheers and applause ] Okay, okay, okay, so, this guy is runningfor president, and he hates immigrants,and he's basically an idiot. [ Laughter ] Not surprisingly, this guy is froma predominantly white town called South Park, Colorado, or [bleep]heads of America,Incorporated. I'm not sure.[ Laughter ] Yeah, if this guy's the besttheir town has to offer, can you imaginewho he left behind? [ Applause ] [ Drawling ] Well, hey,I'm from South Park! we don't take kindlyto respecting human beings! [ Normal voice ] Y-You thinkSouth Park has a university? [ Drawling ] Welcome toSouth Park University. Please open your shotguns and slap your wives. [ Laughter ] I live in South Park, and my IQ's so low, I gots to dig for it. [ Laughter, applause ] Did someone say rape? That's the word for "clever"here in South Park. [ TV shuts off ] That's not funny. [ Bell ringing ] So not cool. How does someone justrip on us like that? I can't believeJimmy Fallon hates us. Jimmy Fallon loves everything. Why would he slamour whole town? Because, apparently, he doesn't carethat his jokes are at the expenseof actual people. Do you thinkit's true? Do you think we're reallybigoted, country bumpkins? No, hey,we are not bumpkins, okay? Kenny's a bumpkin. Mrph rmh rm! We don't have junked carsin our yards. That's just your family,Kenny. I just hope somebodyfinds a way to fix this.

Thanks to Mr. Garrison, we are now being referred to as"the [bleep]heads of America." One of our more politicallysensitive citizens has proposed an ideafor this crisis, and I'd like youto hear him out. Hello, everyone.I'm Randy Marsh, and I've been PCfor almost two weeks now. You know we've all been makingchanges to be more socially conscious,but have we really done enough? The truth is there's somethingwe're lacking as a community, and it's time we all faced it. What this town needs... is a Whole Foods. What?!What?!What?!What?! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,Whole Foods?! It would instantly validateus as a town that cares about stuff! We couldn't get a Whole Foodsto open here! And why not, huh?! We all just don't believewe can get a Whole Foods, because we don't believein ourselves! Where could it even go?! Mayor? I'm announcing a planfor SodoSopa, a new urban development that will turn the most rundownand dilapidated part of our town into a quaint centerof artisan shops and cafeés. Lots of citiesare doing this. The area southof downtown South Park has always been the ugly eyesoreof this town. But now SodoSopa is going tobring in the fresh, new vibrancy that Whole Foodscan't ignore.

but add brick walkwaysand some quaint, white lights. A plaza in the middle will be a placewhere young couples can play with their toddlers. And it will all besmall businesses, like artisan cheese shopsor noodle houses. Oh, this isreally exciting. I thought this area was justgonna stay [bleep] forever. Mrph rmh rmhmhm rm! Who is? So you think you keep allthe existing structures? I do. It's part of whatgives a revitalized area like this its charmthat the hipsters like. Hey, what are you peopledoing? We're gentrifying.It's all good. Okay, hold on.Everyone, listen up. We understand that not everyoneis for the town spending moneyon the SodoSopa project. We want everyone to be ableto voice their concerns. Yeah, I got concerns! I don't want you touchingmy damn house! We realize that when arejuvenation like this takes place, the lower-incomeresidents fear they'll be priced outof the area. What lower-incomeresidents? Me? I work hard and providefor my family just fine! Stewart, come on.Your house sucks. [Bleep] you! If you people want toturn something into a vibrant arts district,then do it to Randy's house. My house is nice. Mr. McKormick, you willbe living in the most vibrant partof the entire town. SodoSopa is the futureof South Park. There'll be amazing foodand incredible shops right at your doorstep. And we want to assurethe lower-income families that we are going to takethe time to do this right.

All right, guys.Welcome to Steed. Do we have any allergies? No, nothing. And we want totry everything. Wow. Can you believethis place? Yeah. The foodis unbelievable. It's like a dream come true,Nelson. This area is gonnaput our town on the map. [ Trash can bangs ] [ Bell ringing ] I don't know what happenall my customers. I use to have peoplecome in here, fill every table. Now it's like nobodywants anything to do with my authentic city food. This town is changingso fast, you know? This town changing so fast. Everybody want to be PC,be updated. It's like I'm a relic -- a rost relic from another time,you know? I don't know. Sometime, I feellike I outstayed my welcome. That's just how I feel,you know? Uh-huh. It's like my accent makes peopleuncomfortable or something. How a Chinese man supposedto survive in this world? [ Bell rings ] Oh, welcome to City Wok.Can I take your order, please? Hey, Mike,what you doing, man? The guys are all meetingdown at SodoSopa. At what? They've totally revitalizedthis area south of downtown. You got to check it out. Oh, sweet, dude. [ Bell rings ] SodoSopa? What the hell is a SodoSopa?! What the [bleep]?!

Mommy,can we go eat outside? No, we can't goeat outside. But, mommy,they have ice cream. We can't afford$10 ice cream, all right? If you want nice things,then go out and get a job! Except you won't make money, because you just bust your assand then barely get by, while everyone around yougets richer! Just face it, things are nevergonna change around here.

Maybe they won'teven answer. Shh, shh, shh,shh, shh! Hi. Um, yes.My name is Randy Marsh, and, um, we would like to try and get a Whole Foodsin our town. Yes, that's right. Uh, yes. It's, uh, South Park, Colorado. No, no, no, no, no!No, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!No, no, no, no, no! It's not at all what you think! It -- yes, it's where thepresidential candidate is from. No, no, no, no, no!No, no, no, no, no! Hold on, hold on, hold on!SodoSopa, SodoSopa! We have a SodoSopa! The town is completelydifferent! SodoSopa! We have an artsand entertainment district, cultural. Yes. Okay. Okay. Yes, I-I understand. Thank you. They said they maybe mightsend over a representative. [ All cheering ]

that is SodoSopa, from the independent merchants and unique cafeés to the rustic charm of a mixed-income crowd. Where else can you let loose your wild side while still being a part of helping the local economy? And now a chance to own a piece of this most exciting area of South Park. Announcing The Lofts at SodoSopa. 2,000-square-foot flats that put you right in the heart of it all. After a night out eating and shopping in SodoSopa, just take a few steps, and you're home. With modern styling, these lofts are sleek, sexy, and, oh, so SodoSopa. And for those very privileged few, the most private and exclusive ownership opportunity is here. Announcing The Residences at The Lofts at SodoSopa. Now you can have access to luxury refined while still just steps away from the action. These finely appointed residences all feature state-of-the-art finishes and balconies with views of historic Kenny's house. It's a place to laugh. It's a place to gather, a place to mingle with people of all economic classes. And now it's a place to live. SodoSopa. Welcome home.

CITY WOK OWNER: And we aregoing to take business back from SodoSopa! Oh, hello.You here for job? Please join the others,please. Some say I cannot survivein today's world. But if there's one assetthat the Chinese man has, it's tactical useof child labor. And together, child labor force, we are going to bring SodoSopato its knees.

This is it, people. This is what we've allbeen working for. The future of our towndepends on us being on our best behavior. No swearing, no weirdness,and no speeches! He's coming! Go, go!Everyone in place! [ Indistinct conversations ] ♪ He's got the whole worldin his hands ♪ ♪ He's got the whole, wide worldin his hands ♪ ♪ He's got the whole worldin his hands ♪ ♪ He's got the whole worldin his hands ♪ Hello, sir. On behalf of everyone herein South Park, please let me saywe are very excited to be in consideration -- Everyone,please go about your business. I need to see this townin its normal goings-on to see if it is indeeda Whole Foods town.

We gonna make City Wokupdated and beautiful! ♪ Let's go, child-labor force!Let's go! ♪ [ Claps ] No, no, Dennis. You don't usetoo much cleaner on the table. That stuff expensive.Now listen, everybody! This is the big day. We gonna take the business backfrom SodoSopa! And how we gonna do it,child-labor force? That's right --By taking pride in our work! With the way this placeis looking, we gonna have people rushing inany second! MAN: Okay, everyone,go about your business. Oh, here they come! Everyone, act normal!No, don't act normal, act good! There they go.Wait, wait! [ Bell rings ] City Wok!Take your order, please! Take... Take order, please?

so that someone more progressivecould take over. Hey, bro. I'm the new principalof the school. My name's PC Principal. PC Principal.I like that. So, you've justrecently moved here? That's right. And do you believe this townis deserving of a Whole Foods? You know, I thinkit's changed a lot. I really do.I've seen some real progress. Definitely had some holdouts, people that went kickingand screaming into 2015, but, yes, I thinkthey deserve it. Mm-hmm. Show me a classroom,please. But if Pluto isn't a planet,who can tell me what it is? Oh, hello. This is our newfourth-grade teacher. She's very normaland professional. Please continue as ifI am not here. Okay, so, uh, children, anyone want to tell mewhat Pluto is classified as? Anybody? Okay. Well, Pluto is actuallya dwarf planet. That means it's neither a planetnor a natural satellite. Is there a reason the children with disabilitiesand black child are front and center? Oh no, that's just wherethey always sit, next to our beloved Craig,there, who is a homosexual. ...smaller?Anyone want to take a guess? Mm-hmm. Uh, can -- can I show youthe most exciting part of town?

[ Bicycle bell dings ] This is historic SodoSopa. It's our vibrant and charmingarts and foods district. Hmm. I enjoy how you've retainedthe lower-income housing with the updatedand quaint urban developments. That's reallywhat our town is about. Oh, hello again! Steven and I werejust heading to SodoSopa to enjoysome specialty foods. Hmm. I have seen enoughfor today. I am weary.Where shall I sleep? Oh, yes, of course. Uh... Uh, well, tonight,you're at our Motel Six. But we'd like to show youthe plans for somethingextremely exciting.

The food, the art, the nightlife. With the Lofts and Residences at SodoSopa, all the action was just a few steps away. But what if you could actually live in the most central location that SodoSopa has to offer? Well, now you can. Announcing The Villas At Kenny's House, the most sought-after address in all of South Park for only the very privileged few. Now you can relax in your state-of-the-art deck spa while taking in views of that mixed SodoSopa culture. [ Bottles breaking ]Shut your damn mouth,bitch! You shut your mouth,or I'll shut -- But that's not all. The Villas At Kenny's House will also feature access to a private fitness center, clubhouse, and so much more. Plus a breezeway to the proposed Whole Foods just steps away. The Villas At Kenny's House -- Welcome home.

[ Sighs ] [ Cash register beeps,drawer opens ] Hey, that's okay,we close. All the other child laborgo home. Mrph rmhmhmrm mrph rmhmhm rm! [ Sighs ] I like you, Dennis. You work a-real hard. I wish I could give you more.You deserve more. But I thinkI'm gonna have to shut down. Now that-a SodoSopa open,I'm the [bleep] part of town! And everyone hatesthe [bleep] part of town. Mrph, mrph rmhmhm rm. Oh, what do you knowabout living in the [bleep] part of town,Dennis? Mrph!Mrph rmhmhm rm! You have idea?Mrph rmhmhm rm! Oh-ho,that's the spirit! [ Singsong voice ]Let's go, child labor! [ Claps rhythmically ]Let's go, child labor! [ Both clap rhythmically ]

[ Cattle mooing ] So, these are the cattlethat the local shops and restaurantsare supplied with? Uh, these are local cows,yes. And where does the butcherytake place? Uh, that's rightover there. [ Gunshot ] And are the bullets madefrom reclaimed metals? I believe they are. Rancher,could you make sure? Randy! Steven! We've got a big problem! The owner of City Wok has child labormaking videos for him! What?! Oh, Jesus,we forgot all about that guy! Shh! It's all overthe place! He's trying to revitalizehis rundown neighborhood! Gah! Why dothe economically challenged always have to screw upeverything? We're gonna head backto SodoSopa for some curiousfusion delights! Come on.We'll get that asshole!

where people can gather to shop,experience, and grow. This is an all-newfood-and-nightlife district. This is CtPaTown. Where else but CtPaTown can you getall the city hotspots and city food that South Parkis known for? In the moodfor some local seafood? Red Lobster has all the freshestfrom Colorado's many oceans. Or if a handcrafted aleis more your thing, head on down to Skeeter's Bar for local aleslike Coors and Coors Light. And then of course,there's City Wok, South Park'shistoric Asian fusion landmark featuring City Chickenand City Sour Soup. The state-of-the-art toiletis designed for men and women and is a great placefor you to squeeze out all the city foodyou've enjoyed. Now South Parkhas another neighborhood to mingle and relax. CtPaTown -- Welcome home. Oh, boy!

Any minute now, we gonnahave customers up our ass! MAN: Get him!MAN #2: There he is! That son a bitch!Get him!Stop him! Oh, boy, here they come! You were right, Dennis! CtPaTown commercialdid the trick! Get ready for customers,child-labor force! [ Townspeople shouting ][ Door bell jingles ] Welcome City Wok!Take your order pleeaaahhh! Mrph rmhmhm?! All right, take these kidsand hide them in the -- Mrph rmhmhm rm?Mrph rmhmhm rm! Ow!You little -- Get him! [ All shouting ] Fight, child-labor force! Frank, to the left! Ahem!Ahe-hem! [ Shouting stops ] I've never seen a townput so much energy into displaying an exaggeratedsense of social consciousness. Congratulations.You have your Whole Foods. [ All cheering ] Wait, wait!Anybody want a City Chicken? Anybody? Take a order, please?! [ Sighs ] I'm sorry, Dennis. You really triedto help. I guess it's over. Come on inside. I'll pay you the child-laborwage you deserve.

[ Banjo music playing ] Well,did you make any money? Mrph, rmhmhm rm. [ Donkey brays ] Ha!Told ya! That's how it worksin this damn country. What are you doing,Kenny? [ Gasps ]Wow! This is mine? Mrph rmhmhm, rm. Hi! [ Indistinct conversation,utensils clinking ]