Beachgoers must not be very appetizing. Sharks are often billed as merciless man eaters. Yet, they kill—on average—less than one person every two years in the U.S. In fact, if you went to the World Cup in Brazil, you were more likely to be bitten by Luis Suárez than by a shark. Perhaps it’s time to start shooting a movie called “Suárez-Nado." But why stop there? Here are 11 other items that would (statistically) pose a more credible threat to B-movie characters than some hungry, hungry shark. You’re welcome, Hollywood!

1. Beds

Falling out of bed isn’t just annoying; it’s also quite dangerous, claiming some 450 American lives yearly.

2. Balloons

Not the hot air version, the latex kids' party kind. Every year they kill between 2 and 5 people in just the United States [PDF].

3. Ladders

There are 113 ladder-related fatalities in the U.S. every year.

4. Televisions

Shark Week is happening right now, but you might want to download it: In 2011, 29 people were killed by falling TV sets [PDF].

5. Lawn Mowers

America currently leads the world in lawn mower and small tractor-related fatalities, with 75 citizens falling victim to these vehicles annually. For obvious reasons, this can be a gruesome way to go.

6. Vending Machines

According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, these heavy food dispensers have been responsible for “at least 37 deaths and 113 injuries since 1978."

7. Swing Sets

Playground equipment—and swing sets in particular—kill nearly 20 people per year.

8. Staircases

Falling down these leads to 1600 annual fatalities. So make sure you’re using those handrails.

9. Bathtubs

Three hundred bathers drown in household tubs every year.

10. Cell Phones

Don’t text and drive. Ever. Go here to find out why.

11. Bicycles

Cycling-related deaths are sadly commonplace, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.