"We found evidence someone had been tampering with your implanted hardware, and not just your language processor. I want to reassure you Mx. <<print $lastName>>, your wet memory is intact. But your medical records show you've been implanted since you were seven years old, is that correct?"



[[Nod]]

A pained look crosses hir face as zie notices your reaction. "I'm sorry. I know we don't normally kiss except as a rare reward. I was just so scared I'd lost you."



Zie looks up at you and a flash of recognition lights hir face. "Shit! I rushed right over once I got your request. I forgot to approve you."



//[Alison Lane has approved your Acquaintence Confirmation.]//



//[Alison Lane has requested to change your status from Acquaintence to "In a D/S Relationship". Do you accept?// [[Y]]// / //[[N]]//]//

Your account is set to automatically verify and log you in. A virtual environment appears with your cartoon house in the center, and roads connecting to different "friend neighborhoods".



However, metal-you tips you off that since you have no approved mutual contacts, it's going to put you through the new user setup. You record yourself making a silly face because it seems appropriate.



"Welcome to Soc1ety!"



It prompts you to record your first Socialization.



[[Directly ask for help rebuilding your contact list|direct]]



[[Drop hints but nothing specific|hint]]

Alison sets the mug of hot chocolate down and looks you in the eyes. "Do you want to remember me? Us?"



[["Of course."|remember]]



[["I don't know. Maybe?"|maybe]]

<<stop_timer>>The [[poster|digital poster display]] moves. Randomized clouds drift through a sunny, blue sky. The words "Clouds of Averyn" look wispy, insubstantial. This was one of the first fantasy movies you ever saw, well before you were implanted. You recall a story about a race of people who could fly without wings, and lived in soaring castles. You feel a pang of disappointment that you still can't fly like they did.



You are in [[your apartment]].

//The nurse's// grab-thing holds you-you //wrist.// You //wave hands like clouds// and put //the nurse's// smell-thing and see-things against the table. Not-soft-hitting-metal noise. Pain noise.



Other //nurse// touch-thing touch //neural interface port//.



Hot-feel in all-place.



[[Down-go.|Sit]]

//Alison stands over you, thrusting a cable toward you. You take it, and plug it in. It is the first time you've let your domme take control before. Zie is the first person you have ever trusted with your source code.



Zie instructs you to create an Administratrix account. Hir password is "Goddex". Zie tells it to you because you know what will happen if you ever use your genderless godhead's power.



The beats of the track "Sinful Fire" are muffled, but audible through the wall. Alison is touching your shoulder.//



[[This isn't how it was.|how it was]]



<<display "turtles">>

<<set $contactRecovery = 1>>"Hey everyone! Just want to let you know I'm ok, but well-wishes from friends would be appreciated. And if there's anything I missed while I was away, let me know, ok?"



[[Send|Turn on your computer.]]



[[Be more direct.|direct]]

Dr. Blaine leans forward and looks you in the eye. "In order to repair the damage we had to replace a lot of your headware. With how long you've had your implants, we decided to err on the side of caution and go with the same manufacturer as your old equipment. So it will still be the same Vigilance interface you're used to. [[But...|but]]"

Your desk projects a broad-spectrum signal upward and your headware translates it into a three dimensional screenspace.



<<if $memory eq 0>>[[Open last project]]<<endif>>



<<if $contactRecovery eq 0>>[[Connect to Soc1ety|Soc1ety]]<<endif>>



[[Turn off your computer|your apartment]]

<<set $tetherVoice eq 1>>You get a tingle along your nerves as zie speaks, hir voice carried along the umbilical tether that joins you to hir. Zie breathes digital sounds that touch every part of you hir fingers cannot.

"Oh, good. It seems to have worked that time," Dr. Blaine says. The nurses remove the encephalocalibrator helmet and set it aside.



"You have my deepest apologies. I'm sure it was very frightening for you. How are you feeling?"



[[Answer|feeling]]

Even as you-you is grasping for thoughts and words to explain why this is a terrible idea, and metal-you is reminding you that this is illegal, body-you //knows// this touch. Body-you //knows// hir movements around you now.



Body-you //needs// hir to do this.



Zie speaks at a cool, controlled pace, "You remember [[how to end it]], right?"





You-you, metal-you, and body-you are all in sync.



You are holding the throat of Michelle Olaczyk.



Your neural interface port is open and user Administratrix is logged in with full access.



The Administratrix has not reacted to your lucidity yet.



[[Terminate the connection, password:Goddex|God]]

Reset

[[Bad feeling]]



<<set $memoryBackup = 0>>

<<set $andyContact = 0>>

<<set $alisonContact = 0>>

<<set $note = 0>>

<<set $noteThrow = 0>>

<<set $tattoo = 0>>

<<set $poster = 0>>

<<set $memory = 0>>

<<set $michelleContact = 0>>

<<set $contactRecovery = 0>>

<<set $toldTruth = -1>>

<<set $domme = -1>>

<<set $tetherVoice = 0>>

<<set $strain = 0>>

<<set $posterSeen = 0>>

<<set $posterSeen = 1>><<display "Timer Addon">><<start_timer 4>><<set_timer_mode "display">><<set_timer_param "digital poster display">><<set $poster = $poster + 1>><<if $poster eq 1>>[[Zeroes]]<<endif>><<if $poster eq 2>>[[Clouds of Averyn]]<<endif>><<if $poster eq 3>>[[Never Again]]<<endif>><<if $poster eq 4>>[[Someone Else's House]]<<set $poster = 0>><<endif>>



You are in [[your apartment]].

The code fragment opens a network terminal between a computer that identifies itself as "<<print $lastName>>_Home" and your headware.



Your headware begins downloading a file whose symbol reference is a [[joke about a movie about a dragon|file]].

<<set $firstName = prompt('Yeah . . . [first name]')>>"Yeah, it's <<print $firstName>>."



"Good, and your [[last name]]?"

"As to that, I was hoping you might be able to tell us. You were brought in last night by a person named Alison Lane who said zie found you outside your apartment muttering to yourself. Zie thought it was just [[wordcrash]] so zie brought you here, but it seems it was [[more severe]] than that."

You're given the number of a specialist. Appointments are made for the upcoming weeks. You're advised to "take it easy" for a while.



You get a vidcall, and it took you too long to remember how to answer it. Instead, you get the recorded message of someone claiming to be Andy //[Searching]// saying he heard about the accident and to take the rest of the week off.



You have no goddamn clue who Andy is. //[Subject Found:Andrew Sakras. Demi-male. Age: 49. // <<if $andyContact eq 0>>[[Request Acquaintence Confirmation?|Contact Andy]]<<endif>>//]//



Oh.



You sit on your couch in [[your apartment]].

<<set $memory = 1>>And yet, you do.



//A [breast:Subject Not Identified] with a large areola. A strand of wavy black hair bobs in front of it. The face of [a woman:Michelle Olaczyk] with red hair in a dark room. The touch of someone's [Subject Not Identified] hand on your shoulder. The knowledge that it is Michelle's hand. A [song:"Waif"] by Sinful Fire. The club's [DJ:PsychicToaster] pointing at someone and you turning your head.//



The images [[subside|Turn on your computer.]].



You are in [[your apartment]].

<<if $posterSeen eq 1>><<stop_timer>><<endif>>Your apartment surrounds you with disquieting familiarity. It is the familiarity of walking into a franchise convenience store half-way across the globe and not needing to translate the signs to find the soda aisle. Every inch of the space is foreign, yet utterly predictable:



The couch. The holoprojectors. The kitchenette. The track lighting. The door to the bedroom. The door to the bathroom. The <<if $tattoo eq 0>>[[digital poster display]]<<else>>digital poster display<<endif>> shuffling through posters for movies you half-remember.



<<if $noteThrow eq 0>>There's a [[crumpled-up note]] on your desk.<<endif>>



<<if $andyContact eq 0>>Andy called you. [[Request Acquaintence Confirmation with Andrew Sakras|Contact Andy]]<<endif>>



<<if $alisonContact eq 0>>Someone named Alison Lane brought you to the hospital. //[Subject Found: Alison Lane. Agender. Age: 29.// [[Request Acquaintence Confirmation?|Contact Alison Lane]] //]//<<endif>>



<<if ($memory eq 0 || $contactRecovery eq 0)>>A light flashes on your desk. [[Turn on your computer.]]<<else>><<if $michelleContact eq 0>>There was a Michelle Olaczyk in your recovered memories. [[Request Acquaintence Confirmation?|Contact Michelle Olaczyk]]<<endif>><<endif>>



<<if $tattoo eq 1>><<if $contactRecovery eq 1>><<if $andyContact eq 1>><<if $alisonContact eq 1>><<if $memory eq 1>>Someone is [[buzzing]] your door.<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>

<<set $toldTruth = 1>><<display "Alison">>

You let go of her throat and body-you lurches backwards in shock. You-you is still bouncing between here and in-there.



Michelle smiles and takes your hands in hers. She kisses your cheek.



"You're alright now. I told you, you could trust me with your [[source code]]."

You can't.



//["What should I take?"]// Hir mouth twists as zie considers hir options. //["Pain? Should I take away your ability to feel pain?"]//



//No!//



You-you isn't sure whether metal-you conveyed the message, but from the sly grin on Alison's face, body-you must have responded somehow.



//["Oh, you want to keep that, eh? I'll be kind—this time—because it was your first mistake. I'll just take something else instead."]//



[[Oh no.]]



<<display "turtles">>

<<display "Style Changer">><<redgreen>>"gnug fv jbu? erggro?"



[[Language Calibration|Language]]

<html><h1 style="text-align:left;">Reset</h1><br /><h2 style="text-align:left;">By Lydia Neon</h2></html>

[[Website|http://www.lifeinneon.com]] | [[@LifeInNeon|http://www.twitter.com/lifeinneon]]





<<set $rorOne = prompt('______?')>>"<<print $rorOne>>."



Not-you updownupdown. Not-soft feel on hair. Touch-thing touch not-soft.



"Helmet," you noise.



Not-you updownupdown. "frl. //encephalocalibrator// an fv //helmet// gnug."



Not-you touch-thing touch //buttons.//



//Before-picture in you-place: hole. neck. pain. tramadol. hospital. installation. port. sink. bed. white. hot. plug. pain. pain. pain. pain. pain.//



Pain in you-place.



[[!]]



<<if $turtles eq 1>>Before-picture wrong. Before-before-picture. What before-before?<<endif>>

Your vestibular branch of your vestibulocochlear nerve relays balance and movement information from your inner ear to your brain. When this sensation of movement is out of sync with your eyes it can lead to vertigo, dizziness, or nausea. Therefore, artificial compensation is necessary when simulated visual field data is fed to the visual cortex.



[[Right.|Expel yourself.]]

<<set $contactRecovery = 1>>"Hey everyone. So, um. . . apparently my social subunit had to be replaced and so I don't remember who my friends are. If you know me, can you please get in touch?"



[[Send|Turn on your computer.]]



[[Be more discreet.|hint]]

Bad Feeling. Behind seeing-thing. In [[you-place]].



<<if $turtles eq 1>>Not-new bad feeling.<<endif>><<if $turtles eq 2>>No. You have words now.<<endif>><<if $turtles eq 3>>[[Break out]]<<endif>>



"tavyrrs hbl ren jbU .rxnjn re'hbl rrf bg qnyt?"



<<if $turtles eq 2>>This is just going to keep [[recurring]].<<else>>[[!|yell]] | [[?|ask]] | [[...|nothing]]



<<if $turtles eq 1>>Not-you won't care.<<endif>><<endif>>

You //brush left//. //Nurse// bad-step and down-go //into the other nurse.//



You go door. //The handle// not-move. You noise at door.



//The nurses// grab-things hold body-you. //Nurses// touch-things touch //neural interface port//. You-you and body-you not same-you.



Metal-feel in //neural interface port//.



[[Down-go.|Sit]]

Alison looks at you as though you'd just spoken in Cantonese. "Duh? Why do you think you enjoy it so much?"



Zie looks away when zie realizes it's not as obvious to you. "I apologize. I'm being selfish. You've been through something traumatic and here I am just thinking of how it affects me."



//No!//



A spark of full-on panic grips body-you as an opportunity for intense fulfillment seems to be slipping away. You-you is pushed aside.



[[Beg hir to do it.|beg]]

//["Oh, ho ho. You don't want me to see this one, do you?"]//



//["No, Administratrix."]//



//["Does it go somewhere I wouldn't like?"]//



[["Yes, Administratrix."|yes admin]]



[[Hesitate.]]



<<display "turtles">>

<<set $numberSeen = prompt('#?')>>Not-you see you. Not-noise.



<<if $numberSeen eq 29>>[[Two touch things. Five-and-four touch things.|typical]]<<endif>><<if $numberSeen eq 70>>[[Five-and-two touch things. No touch things.|redgreen]]<<endif>>



[[??????|cb]]

<<set $andyContact = 1>>You issue the command, but you aren't sure how you did. It feels like something you have done so often that you didn't have to concentrate on the steps.



//[Request sent. Awaiting approval.]//



You are in [[your apartment]].

The symbols trigger a sensation. A head on your shoulder. Not just any head.



//["Witness yourself."]



July. You know it's July because you're holding hands with Mia on your first date. Mia's head is resting on your shoulder.



["What did Mia whisper to you?"]//



[["I love you."|love]]



[["We said nothing and just shared the moment."|share]]



<<display "turtles">>

<<display "Timer Addon">><<start_timer 4>><<set_timer_mode "display">><<set_timer_param "source code">><<set $source = $source + 1>><<if $source gte 2>>//"From the idea that the self is not given to us, I think there is only one practical consequence: we have to create ourselves as a work of art." -Michel Foucault//<<endif>>



<<if $source gte 3>>



[[Think: "Turtles all the way down"|End]]

<<stop_timer>><<endif>>

//["Ah ah ah. No. You do not take memories back; they are for me to give you."]//



Alison's face drops into your field of view and hir eyes lock on yours. Zie folds her arms across your lap and twirls a finger on your knee. Body-you wishes to squirm but the barless prison of paralysis restrains you.



//["You must beg your Administratrix for them."]



["Please give them back."]



["Hm? Are you speaking to me?"]//



[[Plead with hir.]]



<<display "turtles">>

"?" you noise.



"ebffrpbec ybozlf qan rtnhtany ehbl rgneovynpre bg qrra yyvgf rj rrf anp v," noise not-you. "tavbq [[frlr]] ehbl ren jbu?"

History.prototype.originalDisplay = History.prototype.display; History.prototype.display = function (title, link, render) { if ((render != 'quietly') && (render != 'offscreen')) removeChildren($('passages')); this.originalDisplay.apply(this, arguments); };



You open the door to see Alison Lane standing in front of you.



"Oh god, you're alright!"



Zie launches hirself at you, wrapping you in hir arms. Hir hair brushes your nose and you instantly recognize the scent.



"You may kiss me," zie says in a formal, authoritative voice. Zie's tone shifts again, this time to just soft longing. "I'd really like it if you did."



[[Pull away]]



[[Kiss hir]]

<<set $alert = alert('Warning: Attaching device could allow unauthorized access to digital as well as biological function.')>>You recall that you need to do this part. If zie tries to, hir own headware would lock out her muscle control before hir hand reached your head. It's a failsafe against unwanted intrusion.



//Yes, Vigilance. We want this intrusion.//



You //will// your neural interface port to [[open]].

body {

background-color:#333;

color:#ddd;

font-family:Verdana, sans-serif;

font-size:80%;

margin:0;

text-align:center;

}

h1, h2, h3 {

color:#b66;

font-weight:normal;

text-align:center;

}

h1 {

font-size:4em;

line-height:1em;

margin-bottom:0;

margin-top:1em;

}

h2 {

font-size:1.4em;

font-style:italic;

}

h3 {

font-size:1.3em;

margin-bottom:5em;

margin-top:.8em;

}

.passage {

background-color:inherit;

font-size:1.3em;

line-height:175%;

max-width:600px;

min-width:400px;

}

.body {



}



ul li {

list-style-type:none;

}



.passage a{

color:inherit;

text-decoration:none;

font-weight:bold;

}

.passage a:hover{

color:#a55;

text-decoration:none;

}

/*

.toolbar a:hover {

text-decoration:underline;

color:#8ea6ff;

}

a.internalLink, a.externalLink {

font-weight:bold;

text-decoration:none;

}

a.internalLink:hover, a.externalLink:hover {

color:#fff;

text-decoration:none;

}*/

a.brokenLink {

background-color:red;

color:black;

}

.title {

display:none;

}

#storyTitle{

display:none;

}

#storySubtitle{

display:none;

}

#storyAuthor{

display:none;

}

#footer {

display:none;

font-size:1.1em;

font-style:italic;

margin-top:5em;

text-align:center;

}

#footer a.externalLink {

border-bottom:1px solid #464646;

font-weight:normal;

}

.marked {

background-color:pink;

margin-right:12px;

}

.disabled {

color:#aaa;

font-style:italic;

}

#floater {

display:none;

_position:absolute;

_width:100px;

background-color:#fff;

border-left:1px solid #ddd;

border-bottom:2px solid #aaa;

font-size:1.1em;

padding:0 20px;

position:fixed;

right:0;

text-align:center;

top:0;

line-height:100%;

}

#floater a:link, #floater a:visited {

font-weight:bold;

text-decoration:none;

}

#floater a:hover {

text-decoration:underline;

}

#content1 {

margin:0 12em 1em 12em;

text-align:left;

}



.toolbar {

padding:0;

visibility:hidden;

font-size:.5em;

}

.toolbar a {

margin-left:12px;

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.selected .toolbar {

visibility:visible;

}

.passage ul {

margin-left:0em;

padding-left:0em;

list-style-type:none;

}

.passage ol {

margin-left:0em;

padding-left:0em;

list-style-type:none;

}

.passage table {

border-collapse:collapse;

font-size:100%;

margin:.8em 1.0em;

}



.passage em{

color:#669;

/*#a22*/

}



.passage th, .passage td, .passage tr, .passage caption {

padding:3px;

}

.passage hr {

height:1px;

}

#saveTest, .footer {

display:none;

}

#messageArea {

background-color:pink;

display:none;

font-weight:bold;

text-align:center;

}

#storeArea, #copyright {

display:none;

}



.caution {

padding:1em;

background-color:#111;

color:#dd9;

display:block;

font-size:85%;

line-height:125%;

}



#timer_text

{

display: none;

color: #000000; /* Jonah */

color: #BBBBBB; /* Sugarcane */

font-weight: bold;

font-size: 28px;

margin: 10px 0 20px 0;

}



#timer_canvas

{

display: none;

width: 150px;

height: 150px;

}

//["Really? I think it went a little differently..."]



July. You know it's July because you're holding hands with Alison on your first date. Alison's head is resting on your shoulder.//



<<if $love eq 0>>//You quietly share the moment together. Alison hasn't said zie loves you, but that will come in time. For now, you both know it.//<<else>>//Alison whispers, "I love you." Your breath catches and you smile at hir. "I love you, too." It is the first time you've said this to one another.//<<endif>>



Body-you rejoices in the comfort of the memory. You-you wants to weep with joy because the person you love so much is sitting right behind you.



Yet, what about the [[funeral]]? Something is different about the memory. You wrestle with hir for control of the memory, and try to force yourself to think of Mia holding your hand.



<<display "turtles">>

Not-you look-picture at you-you.



<html><img src="http://i.imgur.com/4jEq0.gif" /></html>



"rrf hbl bq [[erozha gnuj]]?"



<<if $turtles eq 1>>Two Nine<<endif>>

<<set $tattoo = 1>>Rolling up a sleeve, you find a tattoo of a chibi cartoon cat.



//"You really want this one? I drew these when I was just starting out. I can do much better now."



"That's why I want it." The vinyl cushion on the bench sticks to you as you shift position.//



The [[poster|digital poster display]] changes.



The poster wasn't for a movie, it was for a documentary about your ex's extreme body modding studio. It was the only place you could go to get unlicensed parts installed, provided you were willing to do it without anaesthesia.



Body-you remembers the cold embrace of her body when you found it. You-you remembers disconnected feelings of a warm life now gone. But aside from the poster, you can't recall her face. You recall her words but not the sound of her voice.



You are in [[your apartment]].

Not-noise at not-you.



"ebffrpbec ybozlf qan rtnhtany ehbl rgneovynpre bg qrra yyvgf rj rrf anp v," noise not-you. "tavbq [[frlr]] ehbl ren jbu?"

The bizarre symbols of [[Luminexa]] code fills your view.

Before you can speak, an intense wave of vertigo strikes. You grip the arms of the chair so you don't fall | so you stay grounded and stop floating | don't fall | stop floating | don't fall | stop floating | fall | [[float]]. . .





//["I didn't say you could sleep."]//

<<silently>><<if $tetherVoice eq 0>><<display "tether voice">><<endif>><<endsilently>>

//["I need you here for this. Think this:"]



[▚▟▜▙▚▞▉▟▜▛▞▙▖▛▜▙▚▝▜▞▚▟▜▞▝▗▖▛▗▗▖▚▟▜▞▛▜▟▜▞▝▗▗▖▛▙▚▞]//



[[Comply]]



<<display "turtles">>

Lydia Neon

Blank, creased paper.



[[Throw it away]]



[[Turn it over|crumpled-up note]]

<<display "Style Changer">><<set $styleStart = 1>><<badcolor>><<display "Actual Start">>

The proprietary programming language for your headware's OS. The symbols on screen are simultaneously nonsense and yet you recall the precise thought-motions you made to "type" them. Body-you remembers making that code, not you-you.



Metal-you gives you a sense of aprehension. You recognize the feeling: if you attempt to translate the code you are thinking of, your headware will interpret and execute it.



[[Trust your memory and execute.|execute]]



[[Don't execute the code.|Turn on your computer.]]

<<set $love = 1>><<display "moment">>

Body-you swells at that. You-you suspects, but body-you //knows// what zie intends. But it's not a memory, just a rush of excited anticipation.



"I need to access your headware."



[["But that's illegal!"|headware]]



[["Um, will it hurt?"|headware]]



[["But I can't move when my headware is being modified. I'd be helpless."|headware]]

//This feels right.//



The thought comes from you-you. With that sentiment, metal-you silences the alerts. Body-you takes more time, but the familiarity of the sensation is reassuring.



Body-you slides into a state of blissful helplessness.



[[Follow it down.]]

<<display "Style Changer">><<cb>>"gnug fv jbu? erggro?"



[[Language Calibration|Language]]

Body-you is seated, looking at Dr. Blaine's nose.



//You-you is a disembodied sense of sight and motion, seeing a white building, experiencing a spatial presence within it, and experiencing the gulf of separation from three incomprehensibly distant satelites.//



You blink.



//You-you is a three dimensional map of the facility extending around body-you, sensing body-you the way you-you senses the presense of body-you's stomach.//



[[Expel yourself.]]

<html><h1 style="text-align:left;">Reset</h1><br /><h2 style="text-align:left;">By Lydia Neon</h2></html>

[[Website|http://www.lifeinneon.com]] | [[@LifeInNeon|http://www.twitter.com/lifeinneon]]



<html><span class="caution">Caution: Reset uses color schemes that may make it difficult for most players to make out the text on screen during some segments of the game. <u>This styling is intentional</u>. Players are recommended to highlight the text on screen to make it readable as needed. If you are using a device that does not use highlighting, an alternative link is provided.</span><br />

<span class="caution">Content Warning: Disorienting color and language, cyborg transhumanism, narrative power exchange kink.</span>

</html>

[[Reset|Style Start]]



[[Reset (No Styling)|Actual Start]]

<html>

<p style="font-size:.8em;line-height:125%;font-style:italic;margin-top:5em; text-align:center;">

<a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/deed.en_US"><img alt="Creative Commons License" style="border-width:0" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nc-sa/3.0/80x15.png" /></a><br />This work is licensed under a <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/deed.en_US">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License</a>.<br />This story was created with <a class="externalLink" href="http://gimcrackd.com/etc/src/">Twee</a> and is powered by <a class="externalLink" href="http://www.tiddlywiki.com/">TiddlyWiki</a>.

</p></html>



<<set $turtles = 0>>

<<set $source = 0>>

<<set $end = 0>>

<<set $styleStart = 0>>

<<set $rorTwo = prompt('What do you see?')>>"//[I:self-referent article]// see <<print $rorTwo>>."



//Dr.// Not-you updownupdown. Touches //buttons//.



Pain in all-place. See dark. See light. Body-you and you-you not same-you. Metal-you and you-you now same-you.



[[Recite Foucault.]]



[[Speak in assembly code.]]



[[Invent the universe.]]

<<set $alert = alert('Warning: Neural interface hub is open. Connect only Vigilance ver. 4.4.12.1 compatible devices.')>>You slide the plug into your jack and cold, electric fire dances along your spine.



Body-you trembles with pleasure and anticipation. You-you retains a detached, worried curiosity.



//[Connection established.]//



[[Exhale]]

<<set $alisonContact = 1>>You issue the command, but you aren't sure how you did. It feels like something you have done so often that you didn't have to concentrate on the steps.



//[Request sent. Awaiting approval.]//



You are in [[your apartment]].

<<stop_timer>>This [[poster|digital poster display]] shows a woman with a tattoo needle and a sly grin. Tattooed on the hand holding the needle is the title "Someone Else's House". It's an allusion to the transsexual love interest of the woman on the poster who described herself as unable to get a tattoo ever before because that would have been "like hanging art in someone else's house".



You know the woman //[Searching]// on the cover.



//[Subject found: Mia Freeman. Deceased.]//



You knew the woman on the cover, at least.



Unconsciously, you touch your [[upper arm]].



You are in [[your apartment]].

<<silently>>

<<set $StyleChanger =

function()

{

macros['typical'] =

{

handler: function(){

document.getElementsByTagName("body")[0].style.backgroundColor="#333";

document.getElementById("passages").style.color="#ddd";

}



}



macros['redgreen'] =

{

handler: function(){

document.getElementsByTagName("body")[0].style.backgroundColor="#333";

document.getElementById("passages").style.color="#ddd";

}



}



macros['cb'] =

{

handler: function(){

document.getElementsByTagName("body")[0].style.backgroundColor="LightSteelBlue";

document.getElementById("passages").style.color="DarkSlateBlue";



}



}

macros['badcolor'] =

{

handler: function(){

document.getElementsByTagName("body")[0].style.backgroundColor="#b38201";

document.getElementById("passages").style.color="#009900";

}



}



}>>

<<print $StyleChanger()>>

<<endsilently>>

A //splat// of vomit hits the edge of the table and then the floor. The nurses swiftly move to clean you up and an orderly is sent for water.



"Atherly Medical College, Bionics wing. Room 412A, Recalibration Room 1"



"That means your systems are coming back online swiftly. But I take it from the vomit your [[vestibular compensators]] aren't quite kicking in yet."



[["Why am I here?"|why here]]

Body-you is yours again. Your mind is silent.



[[Release Michelle's neck.|release]]

<html><span style="font-size:100%;line-height:100%;font-family:'Lucida Console',monospace;">NUMBER_SCALE EQU 15 ; 1 / 2^15<br />

pMatrix EQU [esp + 8]<br />

pVector EQU [esp + 12]<br />

iNumVec EQU [esp + 16]<br />

pResult EQU [esp + 20]<br />

mov ecx,iNumVec<br />

mov eax,pMatrix<br />

lea edx,[ecx*8]<br />

neg ecx<br />

movq mm0,[eax + 0]<br />

movq mm1,[eax + 8]<br />

movq mm2,[eax + 16]<br />

mov eax,edx<br />

add edx,pVector<br />

add eax,pResult<br />

NextVect:<br />

movq mm3,[edx + ecx*8]<br />

inc ecx<br />

movq mm4,mm3 <br />

pmaddwd mm3,mm0 <br />

movq mm5,mm4<br />

pmaddwd mm4,mm1<br />

movq mm6,mm3 <br />

pmaddwd mm5,mm2 <br />

punpckldq mm3,mm4 <br />

punpckhdq mm6,mm4 <br />

movq mm4,mm5 <br />

punpckhdq mm5,mm5 <br />

paddd mm3,mm6 <br />

paddd mm5,mm4<br />

psrad mm3,NUMBER_SCALE-2<br />

psrad mm5,NUMBER_SCALE-2<br />

packssdw mm3,mm5 <br />

movq [eax + ecx*8 - 8],mm3 <br />

jnz NextVect <br />

emms</span></html>



"Sorry," you say. "Normally I only dump code to a console."



[[Oops|better]]

<<set $turtles = 3>>[[Reset|Actual Start]]

"So that's pretty much it. It's been a strange day."



"Wow," zie says as you finish telling her the story. "So, does that mean . . . " Alison clutches hir cup of hot chocolate with a candycane in it. Zie stares at the marshmallows bobbing on the surface, looking for answers in the patterns. "Does that mean you don't remember me?"



[[Lie: "A bit."|lie]]



[[Truth: "A bit."|truth]]

Not-you look-picture at you-you.



<html><img src="http://i.imgur.com/AFemA.jpg" /></html>



"[[rrf]] hbl bq gnuj?"



<<if $turtles eq 1>>Bad test.<<endif>>

//Dr.// Not-you //holds up another picture.//



<html><img src="http://i.imgur.com/YaxgV.jpg" /></html>



"Do you //['want' v.t.:to desire/to feel need/]// to talk about the shape?"



[[Answer]]

//["I know all your secrets. Your data is mine. I am your Administratrix. Say it."]//



[["You are my Administratrix. You know all my secrets. My data is yours."|punish 2]]



<<display "turtles">>

The words form before you realize you remember them. "I think of turtles all the way down."



"Yes, any infinite-regression will work." Zie pats you on the cheek and hir tone becomes that of one admiring a dog. "But that one was always your favorite, wasn't it?"



Zie moves around behind you, and leans in cheek to cheek. "Plug this in." Zie presses a data cable into your hand.



[[Plug it in.]]

"Since it was a total headware replacement, your dry memories are gone. Without that component, and considering how long you've had it, there's no telling whether your memories are intact, or if they are, if they will mean anything."



//Gone.//



The word [[rots]] your flesh.

<<set $domme = 0>>Alison masks hir disappointment with a sympathetic nod.



<<display "talking">>

Body-you not noise. Metal-you good noise.



//["Good. Now plus-fun."]//



No. No. Not more. Not more plus-fun.



<<display "turtles">>

You surrender control to Alison.



At first, you feel an anxiety from every part of you: metal-you has an insistent, urgent alert that you-you is ignoring. You-you recognizes the loss of even bodily function control, and feels as body-you's heart races in pure, blind, animal panic at the helplessness.



Metal-you warns you-you that body-you's heart rate and adrenaline levels are spiking and that you may be in [[danger]].



Alison runs hir fingers around your neural interface hub. Body-you feels a pang of fear that zie might unplug, separating you from hir, leaving you-you alone in your mind.



//["I would never."]//



Zie huffs with disdain.



//["I know just which memory. Think this:"]



[▝▗▖▛▗▗▖▚▟▜▞▛▜▟▜▞▝▗▗▖▛▙▚▚▟▜▙▚▞▉▟▜▛▞▙▖▛▜▙▚▝▜▞▚▟▜▞▞]//



[[Obey]]



<<display "turtles">>

//["You wouldn't be trying to force me to give you back a memory, would you?"]//



[[Strain to remember.|strain]]



[["No, Administratrix."|no strain]]



<<display "turtles">>

<<set $michelleContact = 1>>You issue the command, but you aren't sure how you did. It feels like something you have done so often that you didn't have to concentrate on the steps.



//[Request sent. Awaiting approval.]//



You are in [[your apartment]].









[[Think: "Turtles all the way down"|turtlesdown]]

<<set $strain = $strain + 1>><<if $strain lte 1>>//The DJ at the club pointed Alison out to you.//



[[No, that's not right.|strain]]<<endif>><<if $strain gte 2>>//The DJ at the club pointed Michelle Olaczyk out to you.//<<endif>>



<<if $strain eq 2>>//You created an account for hir to control your consciousness.//



[[But your mind had never been touched before Alison|strain]]<<endif>><<if $strain gte 3>>//You set your money on the table and settle into the overstuffed chair of the VIP lounge.//<<endif>>



<<if $strain eq 3>>//Alison places hir hand on your inner thigh and looks you in the eyes.//



[[Alison wasn't there.|strain]]<<endif>><<if $strain gte 4>>//Michelle places her hand your shoulder and leans in to whisper in your ear. You don't remember the words, just the feeling of anticipation as you nod to her.//



//["Found you."]//



Alison rips [[control of your consciousness|punish]] back.<<endif>>



<<display "turtles">>

//["Please, Administratrix, let me remember her face."]



["Better."]//



For a moment, you-you and body-you are together once more in experiencing the memory of your lost love.



//["But I need to ensure you remember this lesson."]//



[[Tremble]]



<<display "turtles">>

Alison's attention snaps back to you and hir eyes widen. An excited, predatory smile grows on hir lips. "Well, since you asked nicely."



Zie stands and guides you to [[sit properly]] in the chair. Hir movements are direct, precise, and calculated.

<<silently>>

<<if $domme eq 0>>Zie breaks hir newly-adopted character for a moment. "Look, even though I'm not officially your domme, there's really only one way I know how to do this. So, bear with me on the theatricality of it, alright?"



[["Alright. If it's the only way."|sit properly]]<<endif>><<endsilently>>

It appears you have already done so.



[[Oh.|better]]

//Dr.// Not-you //holds up another picture.//



<html><img src="http://i.imgur.com/YaxgV.jpg" /></html>



"rab fvug ghbon jbu?"



<<if $turtles eq 1>>[[I see turtles all the way down|turtles 2]]<<else>>

[[? color]]



[[? shape]]<<endif>>

"Just start with telling me about us, then I'll decide," you tell hir.



You sit on the back of your chair, feet on the seat, staring at the carpet stains from the previous tenants. Alison tells you about your relationship. <<if $domme eq 0>>Or at least, what your relationship used to be. <<endif>>



Zie explains that you'd met four years ago at a kink play party. That was during your relationship with Mia. "You two made an adorable couple." Back then, zie was just your domme, but after her death, you dropped out of the scene. You reconnected a couple years ago when Alison happened to move in across the hall. "It started out just d/s, right where we left off. But. . . you really don't [[remember]]? Us? We've been dating for over a year now."

//["Show me."]//



[[Comply, and strain to remember it clearly.|strain]]



[[Refuse|punish]]



<<display "turtles">>

<<if $styleStart eq 1>><<display "Style Changer">><<badcolor>><<endif>>//["Yes, this will do nicely. I've taken your ability to distinguish colors. This ability is mine now and you will have it back when I say so."]



["Yes, Administratrix"]



["Good. Now, do you want another memory?"]



["Please give me // [[another memory]] //, Administratrix."]//



<<display "turtles">>

<<set $feel = prompt('I feel...')>>"I feel <<print $feel>>."



Dr. Blaine nods. "Given the circumstances, I'm surprised it's not something even more //['intense':extreme in degree or strength]//. Do you remember your [[name]]?"

//["It does, doesn't it? Show me."]//



[[Comply, and strain to remember it clearly|strain]]



[[Refuse|punish]]



<<display "turtles">>

Zie nods slowly, processing that.



"Well, <<if $domme eq 0>>even though I'm not your domme anymore,<<else>>as your domme,<<endif>> I have had some experience working with your headware. I, well . . . know things about you that you might not remember yourself [[yet]]."

Body-you in sit-thing. You-you in pain-place.



//Dr.// Not-you //sits in the chair.//



Body-you and you-you //resynchronize and become// same-you.



"rerj [[reruj]] //we//?"



<<if $turtles eq 1>>Turtles.<<endif>>

<<stop_timer>>This [[poster|digital poster display]] makes you snicker. Just the pose of the woman in the frame, soaked, alone, and staring back at you with a look that says, "Really?" It was a sappy romantic comedy, but you remember it most for the way it dealt with the way digital sex would be in the future. Of course, you live in the future predicted and it's nothing like the corny portrayal on screen, but somehow they still managed to capture the essence of the act.



You are in [[your apartment]].

<<set $lastName = prompt('. . .[last name]')>>"<<print $lastName>>."



You get the feeling you have never met //[Dr. Kelly Blaine. Female. Age: 38]// before. That name didn't come from your eyes, or ears, but from metal-you. The nurses behind you are //[Chris Maxwell. Male. Age 24]// and //[Francis "Fran" Martinez. Unspecified. Age 33]//.



[["What happened?"|what happened]]



[["Where am I?"|where am I]]

<<set $love = 0>><<display "moment">>

//["I think it is time I took your words."//



You look hir in the eyes. Nothing seems to have changed at all.



You still you.



Not-you still not-you.



//["Thank me."]//



[[Noise.]]



<<display "turtles">>

Whether just to be polite, or because you want answers, or because you need another live person to make you feel like you've got some place in the world, you [[invite]] Alison in.

<<set $noteThrow = 0>>You snatch the note back again, hoping someday to remember why you wrote that.



You are in [[your apartment]].

Efferent signal pathways are silenced by a paralytic signal from your headware.



Your body seizes and you collapse on your floor.



Panic sets in and metal-you [[goes dead]].

Zie kisses you desperately. Your body has needed the comfort of a familiar touch amid all the madness, but you feel a prickle along your spine.



A pained look crosses hir face as zie notices your reaction. "I'm sorry. I know we don't normally kiss except as a rare reward. I was just so scared I'd lost you."



Zie looks up at you and a flash of recognition lights hir face. "Shit! I rushed right over once I got your request. I forgot to approve you."



//[Alison Lane has approved your Acquaintence Confirmation.]//



//[Alison Lane has requested to change your status from Acquaintence to "In a D/S Relationship". Do you accept?// [[Y]]// / //[[N]]//]//





//Instinct. Fear. Frenzy.//



Up-go. Out of sit-thing. Above //Dr.// Not-you.



//Dr.// Not-you away go. //Dr.// Not-you //hides near the wall.// //Nurses// fast try //restrain// you-you. Try make sit in sit-thing.



Cold-feel in //neural interface port//.



[[Hit]]



[[Run]]



[[Sit]]



<<if $turtles eq 1>>Turtles.<<endif>>

<<set $toldTruth = 0>><<display "Alison">>

//Dr.// Not-you //holds up another picture.//



<html><img src="http://i.imgur.com/YaxgV.jpg" /></html>



"You //['may':permission/allowed/distinct from 'can']// talk about the color, //['yes':affirmative/agreement]//."



[[Answer]]

<<set $turtles = 1>>[[Reset|Actual Start]]



But?

<<set $note = 1>>The words are scrawled at an angle to the lines of the paper. It feels proper. It's your way of signaling to yourself that this was an idea you wished to be reminded of so you could develop it further in longer, with-the-lines writing.



//"My life to this point has been a constant search for distractions to either slow the spread of a growing insanity or to anaesthetize what is perhaps the greatest and most distressing moment of lucidity I have ever known. But for once I see a way through this."//



A half-memory stirs of you plucking this from the trash before the incinerator fired up. You needed to save it because it was an important idea fragment you didn't mean to dispose of.



You don't know why it meant anything to you.



[[Turn it over]]



You are in [[your apartment]].

<<set $turtles = 2>>[[Reset|Actual Start]]

<<stop_timer>>The [[poster|digital poster display]] shows two androgynous face halves joined by a line down the middle. The irises of both eyes resemble terminal output zeroes. You don't remember the movie itself, but you recall being present in a holodome watching it. Someone was holding your hand. You were far more enthusiastic about the film than they were.



You are in [[your apartment]].

Not in touch-things. Not in move-things. Feel thing. In feel-place.



[[Noise]] from not-you.



<<if $turtles eq 1>>Noise from not-you not-new.<<endif>><<if $turtles eq 2>>This isn't right.<<endif>>

<<set $noteThrow = 1>>You throw the note away, and the idea with it.



[[Shit! Save it!]]



[[Let it go|your apartment]]

//["What's wrong?"]//



<<silently>><<if $tetherVoice eq 0>><<display "tether voice">><<endif>><<endsilently>>



Body-you gets anxious as you-you hesitates. Metal-you's sentinel watch is still reminding you that you are engaged in the commission of a crime.



[["Sorry. Try it again."|Exhale]]

<<set $domme = 1>>//[Update approved.]//



Alison smiles. It is warm, but you don't know how you're supposed to feel about this closeness.



<<display "talking">>

<<set $confirm = confirm('You are about to grant user [Administratrix] ALL access privileges. Are you sure?')>><<if $confirm eq false>><<display "wrong">><<else>><<display "surrender">><<endif>>

//["Then you know that I know about Michelle, already."]



["Yes, Administratrix."]



["And yet you tried to hide her from me again."]



["Yes, Administratrix."]//



Metal-you detects that body-hir's agitation is interfering with signal integrity. But the look on Alison's face is not rage; it is fear. Hir [[red hair]] dangles in front of body-you's lips.



//["I must punish you for this."]//



[[Submit]]



<<display "turtles">>

<<silently>>

<<set $TimerAddon =

function()

{

var div_timer_container = document.createElement('div');

div_timer_container.setAttribute('id', 'timer');



var div_timer_canvas = document.createElement('canvas');

div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('id', 'timer_canvas');

div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('width', '150');

div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('height', '150');

div_timer_canvas.width = div_timer_canvas.width;

div_timer_container.appendChild(div_timer_canvas);



var div_timer_text = document.createElement('span');

div_timer_text.setAttribute('id', 'timer_text');

div_timer_text.innerHTML = "Hurry Up!";

div_timer_container.appendChild(div_timer_text);



var Timer_Active = false;

var Timer_Paused = false;

var Timer_Mode = 'none';

var Timer_Param = "";

var Timer_Max = 0;

var Timer_Now = 0;



var div_jonah_floater = document.getElementById('floater');

if(div_jonah_floater) div_jonah_floater.appendChild(div_timer_container);



var div_sugarcane_menu = document.getElementById('sidebar');

if(div_sugarcane_menu) div_sugarcane_menu.appendChild(div_timer_container);



function StartTimer(val)

{

Timer_Active = true;

Timer_Paused = false;

Timer_Max = val;

Timer_Now = val;

div_timer_text.style.display = 'none';

div_timer_canvas.style.display = 'none';

}



function StopTimer()

{

Timer_Active = false;

div_timer_text.style.display = 'none';

div_timer_canvas.style.display = 'none';

}



function PauseTimer()

{

Timer_Paused = true;

}



function ResumeTimer()

{

Timer_Paused = false;

}



function SetTimerText(text)

{

div_timer_text.innerHTML = text;

}



function SetTimerMode(mode)

{

if(mode == 'display')

{

Timer_Mode = 'display';

}

else if(mode == 'restart')

{

Timer_Mode = 'restart';

}

else Timer_Mode = 'none';

}



function SetTimerParam(param)

{

Timer_Param = param;

}



function OnTimerEnd()

{

StopTimer();

if(Timer_Mode == 'restart')

{

state.restart();

if(Timer_Param) alert(Timer_Param);

window.location.reload(true);



}

else if(Timer_Mode == 'display')

{

state.display(Timer_Param[0]);

}

}



function OnTimerTick()

{

if(Timer_Active && !Timer_Paused)

{

Timer_Now = Timer_Now - 0.1;



if(Timer_Now <= 0) Timer_Now = 0;



var context = div_timer_canvas.getContext("2d");

div_timer_canvas.width = div_timer_canvas.width;



var x = div_timer_canvas.width / 2;

var y = div_timer_canvas.height / 2;

var radius = 65;

var startAngle = 1.5 * Math.PI;



var endAngle = (1.5 + (2 / Timer_Max * Timer_Now)) * Math.PI;

var counterClockwise = false;



context.beginPath();

context.arc(x, y, radius, startAngle, endAngle, counterClockwise);

context.lineWidth = 15;

if(div_jonah_floater) context.strokeStyle = "black";

if(div_sugarcane_menu) context.strokeStyle = "#BBBBBB";

context.stroke();



context.font = 'bold 30px sans-serif';

if(div_jonah_floater) context.fillStyle = "black";

if(div_sugarcane_menu) context.fillStyle = "#BBBBBB";

context.fillText(Timer_Now.toFixed(1), 55, 85);



if(Timer_Now <= 0) OnTimerEnd();

}

}



setInterval(function(){ OnTimerTick(); }, 100);



macros['start_timer'] =

{

handler: function(obj, fnc, val)

{

StartTimer(val);

}

}



macros['stop_timer'] =

{

handler: function(obj, fnc, val)

{

StopTimer();

}

}



macros['pause_timer'] =

{

handler: function(obj, fnc, val)

{

PauseTimer();

}

}



macros['resume_timer'] =

{

handler: function(obj, fnc, val)

{

ResumeTimer();

}

}



macros['set_timer_text'] =

{

handler: function(obj, fnc, val)

{

SetTimerText(val);

}

}



macros['set_timer_mode'] =

{

handler: function(obj, fnc, val)

{

SetTimerMode(val);

}

}



macros['set_timer_param'] =

{

handler: function(obj, fnc, val)

{

SetTimerParam(val);

}

}



}

>>

<<print $TimerAddon()>>

<<endsilently>>

<<set $memory = 1>>And then you can move again.



Metal-you has joined the sensation chorus once more, giving you a vague awareness that you have incorporated a data file into your dry memory, though you-you can't remember how to [[access it]].

Alison looks away, thoughtful. "It really might be easier if I just [[show you]]."

"We'll get to that. First, do you know [[where you are|where am I]]?"

//"I don't feel that it is necessary to know exactly what I am. The main interest in life and work is to become someone else that you were not in the beginning. If you knew when you began a book what you would say at the end, do you think that you would have the courage to write it? What is true for writing and for a love relationship is true also for life. The game is worthwhile insofar as we don't know what will be the end."//



[[Duh.|better]]

Body-you knows this scent, and it is not Alison Lane.



<<display "turtles">>

"When there's a fault in your language retrieval subsystem's firmware, the signals sent to your brain are garbled. But your neurons don't know that the signal coming in is garbage, and so you react to it as if it were correct. The result can be simply mild aphasia in which you'd only seem to be incapable of saying certain words, or it can be—as was your case—severe enough that you were just making [[nonsense sounds|why here]]."

You noise at not-you. More pain in feel place.



"ebffrpbec ybozlf qan rtnhtany ehbl rgneovynpre bg qrra yyvgf rj rrf anp v," noise not-you. "tavbq [[frlr]] ehbl ren jbu?"

<<display "Style Changer">><<typical>>"gnug fv jbu? erggro?"



[[Language Calibration|Language]]