NOTE: This post has been sitting in my drafts for a while (even before the Euro trip). It’s a little rough around the edges, and disjointed because of the various draft alterations i did, but the idea is gold.

I’ve struggled with the name of this post. I don’t know if the word “Time Wizard”, “Bill & Ted”, “Marty McFly”, “Timecop” are more applicable in this situation. Now that I think about it – Dr Manhattan. You need to be Dr Manhattan

Let me back up for a bit to make more sense.

I am in a bit of a cold streak right now, and with my work and my side projects taking up a bunch of my time, I did not notice that it’s almost the weekend and I have absolutely zero plans. Then I remembered how i spent the last weekend – getting flaked on consecutively, and drowning myself in a marathon session of bong hits and Arrested Development. No bueno. To put it nicely. I’ve been fucking up.

So I browse the internet for shit to do, text some friends, text some girls, and start to remember the fact that mere months ago, mid hot streak, I had busy weekends, dates all the time. It was absolutely impossible to lock me down without planning ahead, and my sex life was booming as a result. Unfortunately the pussy bubble popped.

But what was I doing different. Well shit – I was busy – my time was split between a lot of things. But right now, amid the boredom and creeping sense of desperation, I just want to text every girl in my phone and try to plan something. I know it won’t work, I know that the way dogs can smell fear, women smell desperation, and they are repulsed by it. So I spark up, I play a little Street Fighter, maybe solo it to a movie theater and play it off.

Desperation can not get to me – I am a time wizard. And a time wizard must be a master of all time, not just the joyous ones.

The time wizard practices two disciplines, both requiring extreme dedication, they are:

Lightning fast execution. Complete disregard for the passage of time

With today’s dating culture, when a girl gives you the option to “fuck her like an alpha male”, or “keep paying like a beta male” – you have a very small window of opportunity to score with the hot girl you just met, before the inevitable rush of information that will flood her brain because she, as an attractive girl, gets about as much attention as you can get without being a celebrity.

Face it champ, unless you’re a New York Yankee, there is a 100% chance that the super hot girl you are talking to WILL have so much information dumped on her that her brain has no choice to erase you out of it. Hypergamy… or something.

So a time wizard knows to ALWAYS go for sex on the first meeting, because even with all of the attention – first night sex is still a relatively rare occurrence for most girls, and if you can become that rare exception – congratulations – your time wizardry has now granted you total control of the relationship.

But what about point 2? Well, this is where most guys fuck up. You get a girls number, you try texting for a little while, maybe you get a response but feel yourself pulled into a perpetual flake engine. She suddenly can’t make your Wednesday night drinks outing because she has a work thing, or a friend of hers needs help, or any number of other excuses that she wouldn’t make if your name was Derek Jeter.

And this is where you need to stop. You put down your phone, you watch a season of a show on Netflix. and LIVE YOUR LIFE – for a week, maybe two. Then you restart your text game, not even trying to pinpoint a meetup. Just send a joke, or a pic, or anything else, and maybe disappear for a week again.

Congratulations – you are no longer some desperate chump firing off 3 unanswered texts in a row before you give up.

But Kid, how does this help me sleep with this girl? To be honest, it might not even, but you’re not seeing the big picture. Take this situation and multiply it, a lot. The hot near-celebrity you’re texting is just like any other hot near-celebrity. I bet you she called herself “sarcastic” on her Okcupid profile if she had one. I bet she’s “spiritual but not religious”. I bet she doesn’t want to lift weights too much at the gym because shes afraid of “being bulky like a guy”. I could go on.

This near endless gob of women are now on your phone, waiting. They now have their next collection of weekend guys that give up after the 3rd text, all being ignored for work events, brunches, and all the other things that aren’t real. But here you are, hovering above it all, sending her a text at the just the right time, then disengaging. Then maybe she hits you up, and wonders why you two have never hung out and if the ship has sailed… until the inevitable time where the two of you have no plans for a random Monday evening, and then it all goes back to Time Wizard – part 1 – finish fast.

But what if you don’t have a little flakey gaggle of women on your phone? Easy – just pretend they’re there, but play video games instead. Or Read. Or do any single thing to occupy your time. Your chance to “update your roster” will come soon enough, one phone number at a time.

But don’t go all in on a girl, ever. Girls are excellent bluffers, and will stay for the long haul of text limbo, flakes, and poor choices. They have no concept over the fragile nature of time, and why should they – they’ve been showered with attention for as long as they can remember, so they mistakenly believe this ride lasts forever. But you know better. You’re a man – you literally get sexier with every passing second. You are the real master of time. And you are freeing yourself from control.

The ironic twist in this story is that to truly become a time wizard, you must genuinely not be invested in the outcome of personal interactions. Flakers gonna flake, girls gonna girl. And in this place, when you truly let go, does your sexual power begin to ignite. But you wont even care. At times you’d rather just play XBox