SirJolt Profile Blog Joined October 2009 the Dagon Knight 3864 Posts Last Edited: 2012-02-04 11:21:29 #1 A recent Dongraegu tweet complaining about imbalance ignited a flurry of tweets from other Korean progamers, a flurry so entertaining we couldn’t just let it pass by. Unfortunately, the translator available at such short notice happened to speak exclusively Elizabethan English. And so we present to you, the pro-gamers of the GSL, Shakespearean style.



The following scene is based on real tweets.











Scene: Castle of GSL, small hall.



Enter Sir Dongraegu and Sir Nestea stage left.



Dongraegu: Whether facing Terran or Zerg, the result of Protoss Immortal timings are decided by no means other than the Protoss player's 'skill' in the deployment of force-fields. From the moment at which one misplaces a force-field, the victory has been yielded, yet if thine force-field placement be true, victory is attained.



[Spits on the ground]



Nestea (to DRG): Cease thy whining, it's most uncouth. Accept defeat cleanly.



MC, the fool’s head appears through the high window



MC: Attend Nestea well. How strong could Protoss be? It has yet but seen three GSL finals. Perhaps the good sir should be Protoss and improve his FF skill.[laughs]



DRG: Go to shrift, ye shameless Protoss ruffian! There is strength to Protoss now, such strength I'm fit to retch!



DRG (to Nestea): Forgive me, sir Nestea, I could not go on being so aggrieved.



Nestea: Cede victories to Protoss players, for then King David shall enfeeble them on our behalf.



[Sighs] It is so very arduous to survive as a Zerg these days... Dongraegu, let us advance together from the tournament... though I know it be more likely that we both will fall.



DRG: From this vantage, the heart of the swarm shouldn't usher in a golden age for Zerg. Let us share a drink after we are toppled.



Nestea: Verily, would that thou had braced thineself for such when first thou selected Zerg. Personally, I feel I have aged a decade in these past twelve months.



MC (to DRG): Regardless of the strengths Toss hold, one should be relied upon to vanquish Genius, at least...



DRG: Art thou without even a modicum of shame?!





Enter Lady Jessica & Sir Choya stage left





Jessica (to DRG): Soothe thineself, sirrah! Anger will only diminish thee.



Choya: Toss maintains a fearsome strength these days, have faith my Zerg friends.



Nestea: In soothe, Toss is strong, but thou art no formidable foe, I am sorry to say.



Choya: Wouldst thou receive my all-in, cousin? [laughs at length]



Nestea: Never let it be said that thou were without a measure of wit, Choya.



Choya: [laughs] Yes, but Protoss does seem peculiar strong when upon PvZ my gaze alights nowadays.



Nestea: Truly, thou art a fine and noble man, to so admit the OP of thine own race. I shall reward thee with a feast.



Choya: Aye, I admit it, I am but a poor Protoss. I accept thine gift of food.



Dongraegu, Nestea, Jessica exit stage right.



Choya (aside): Indeed, I must admit that Immortals are prodigious strong. Protoss is formidable these days, but it still depends on who uses it. Inarguably impotent when I use it!



A recent Dongraegu tweet complaining about imbalance ignited a flurry of tweets from other Korean progamers, a flurry so entertaining we couldn’t just let it pass by. Unfortunately, the translator available at such short notice happened to speak exclusively Elizabethan English. And so we present to you, the pro-gamers of the GSL, Shakespearean style. Moderator @SirJolt