An article on your Facebook feed this week that isn’t about politics.

Pretty boring week. Nothing life changing has happened. Kind of quiet to be honest.

It’s not quite the lead in for Trojans’ biggest game of year! USC vs Washington! A battle for Pac-12 supremacy!

We have five straight wins. We are bowl eligible. The 2017 Heisman campaign has already begun for Sam Darnold and Ronald Jones. Although recently those usually don’t fare well (See: Matt Barkley, Cody Kessler, Adoree’ Jackson). Nonetheless, this Trojan team has finally begun to live up to the standards that the fans expect every year. While the Coliseum may not be full during games, the bandwagon sure is.

I am taking a bit of a risk here by jumping the gun because this week could easily end in disaster (for numerous non-football related reasons), but I have to say it: Clay Helton has a bright future.

Sure those first four games were a disaster, but how well did you do in your first year at USC? Were you attending all your classes and taking notes or were you waking up at 11 am, hungover and walking around shirtless in the hall of your dorm room seeing if your friend was up to play video games for the next seven hours.

In the past two weeks, I’ve compared Helton to a freshman in college and a child with the keys to a Ferrari, but that is my whole point: At USC, you don’t have to be a great coach, you just have to be a good one. The talent is there, you just have to not screw it up. And it looks like he’s finally got the team to fire on all cylinders right before their toughest opponent.

Let’s just all ignore the large orange elephant in the room and focus on what we love: watching unpaid college students risking their health for our enjoyment. It’s like Gladiator, except after four years, Russell Crowe gets a degree in sociology.

Game Recap

These lack of highlights are killing my recaps. ESPN must have some sort of embargo on releasing highlights. If only there was some sort of service where people can share six second videos with each other. Would be a perfect opportunity for a company like Twitter to BRANCH out into other mediums.

Luckily, we are gifted with a highlight package of all four of RoJo’s TD runs this past Saturday. Safe to say his sophomore slump is over as the tread is off the tires for the Texas Telsa.

First Quarter

We got to be better than this Trojan Nation. This would be fine for a noon game or one on Thursday night. But not late afternoon Homecoming.

Luckily for fans still kicking the flag pole at kickoff, the Pac-12 refs made sure to delay the game as much as possible with questionable calls and challenges that made the first two minutes of the game feel like an eternity. Every once in a while their incompetence can be beneficial for the fans.

Not really because the 1st quarter took over an hour.

We can’t even get all of our Trojan Knights to show up to the game!

USC 3 — ORE 0 FG 12:17 Matt Boermeester 35 Yard Field Goal

Dom Davis is finally free. If you haven’t heard the name yet, Dom Davis is the fourth string running back. It only took two injuries to the running back corps to get him on the field, but it finally happened and he broke off some nice runs. What he lacks in breaking tackles he makes up for in speed. Seriously, the lane has to be wide open for him to break one. A tall piece of grass could trip him up.

USC 10 — ORE 0 Ronald Jones II 23 Yard Run

When you bust your ass for your running back, you need a rest. No shame in Viane here.

Look at Darnold trying to help him out. Man of the people. Salt of the earth.

USC 17 — ORE 0 Ronald Jones II 3 Yard Run

If the Trojans’ offense has a weakness, it’s the inability to put away a game in the first half. USC had the Ducks in their sights but couldn’t pull the trigger.

USC 17 — ORE 6 Charles Nelson 25 Yard Run

If the Trojans defense has a weakness, it’s being burned on simple end-arounds and trick plays. We fall for more tricks than someone attending a David Blaine show. Except in this case, Oregon’s running back levitates 25 yards into the end zone.

This correction was huge because it meant no Chick-Fil-A for the fans in attendance. Pay over fifty thousand a year for school but we can’t get a free chicken sandwich from a fast food joint.

“If you look good, you feel good. If you feel good you play good. If you play good, they pay good.” — Deion Sanders

Bad offense or great defense? Let’s go with the latter.

Second Quarter

USC 24- ORE 6 Deontay Burnett 2 Yard Pass from Sam Darnold

Burnett has filled in for Steven Mitchell nicely as the third wide receiver, building a nice rapport with Darnold that must have been developed when they were on the second team with each other in the Summer. This happens all the time when the former backup has chemistry with a lesser talented receiver on the team.

Or Burnett is taking the receptions from JuJu, who has seemed hobbled since the Arizona game three weeks ago.

Third Quarter

USC 31 — ORE 6 Ronald Jones II 66 Yard Run

USC 31 — ORE 13 Pharaoh Brown 5 Yard Pass from Justin Herbert

It’s was simply maddening watching the whole defensive line fall for a screen again and again in this game. If the offensive lineman is letting you go faster than your ex before she leaves for a Europe, you might want to realize why. It’s not you, it’s them.

USC 38 — ORE 13 Taylor McNamara 7 Yard Pass from Sam Darnold

Tight End U isn’t just for October like Breast Cancer Awareness month. It’s made its way to November and there will be a lot of THANKS that fans will be GIVING for the continuation of this facet of our offense.

Someone in the coaching staff must be reading my blog, or the hundreds of tweets I use because they expanded tight end passes to outside the Redzone.

Including this incredible grab by Daniel Imator “My Bae Bae”.

Porter Gustin was a menace to the pass rush this game. Batting away balls like he was Barry Bonds. Shout out to BALCO for their biceps.

Fourth Quarter

USC 45 — ORE 13 Ronald Jones II 1 Yard Run

Wait a second…I’ve seen this before.

Of course! Wisconsin’s defense is too good. I knew there was no way Wilcox was coaching it.

USC 45 — ORE 20 Dakota Prukop 15 Yard Run

Enjoy your garbage points. USC still covered.

Pretty successful duck hunt if you ask me.

At least their fans had fun.

Post Game

Good

Quack Quack Quack Mr. Helfrich.

Things aren’t going so swimmingly at Oregon, as their own Scrooge McDuck, Phil Knight, is willing to put up a lot of money to find someone to fit the bill for head coach. He better hurry before the Duck’s program is roasted. Regardless on if it’s actually true, these rumors are definitely ruffling a few feathers in Eugene.

Instead of spending ten million a year for a coach, why don’t you use the money and create 1000 new uniform combinations?

Doesn’t Reggie Bush really have this record, but we aren’t supposed to admit it? Or was Lendale the touchdown vulture for the Trojan teams back in the day?

Took a couple mulligans off the Tee, but Coach Martin has definitely found his groove calling plays. He’s established a balanced offensive attack and made in-game adjustments to adapt to the defense Oregon was giving them.

Having Sam Darnold and Ronald Jones helps too.

If the Trojan defense can continue to win the 3rd down battle, they will be putting the Huskies in kennels this weekend.

A lot of records being broken for Oregon this game. And for all the wrong reasons.

Talk about a clusterduck.

Not quite the air attack Oregon’s fans are used too.

It isn’t just field goals for “Auto-Matt-ick”. Boermeester has been putting the ball in the endzone on almost every kickoff. This is crucial for field position and the ability for fans to check their phones between drives. Those extra 15 to 30 seconds are crucial for tweeting.

Bad

More penalties than a Germany-Italy EuroCup match.

I love Chopped Kids just as much as anyone, but Adoree’ has to throw in some Netflix originals into his routine. Although, I wouldn’t want Jackson to be freaked out going into Washington because he binged season three of Black Mirror.

Players Notes and Injuries

Looks like the Trojans will have all their running backs back this week. The much needed return of the Texas Two-Step and the Stockton Slide.

Guess that means we won’t be seeing Dom Davis again.

Luckily Ronnie Lott wasn’t on the sidelines or he would have offered some alternative solutions to Burnett’s thumb injury.

Stevie T, Iman Marshall, and Marvell Tell also suffered injuries during the win against Oregon. A lot of bumps and bruises for the Trojan squad. Just got to rub some dirt in it. By dirt, I mean shots of Toradol.

On the other side, a big loss for the Huskies pass rush as they lose their sack leader and a person I totally knew before today.

Looks like we will have to weather the storm without Noah this year. Someone check the forecast for Seattle.

Hypotheticals

Not the greatest week for the hypotheticals. While we got our win, UCLA couldn’t capitalize on Colorado’s FOUR turnovers as they lost to the Buffs 10–20. This game was a disgusting display of football as both teams combined for 25 penalties. There were more yellow flags in this game than on a Lakers fan’s Escalade.

Would be nice if Jim Mora Jr. did us a favor other than destroying all the progress he’s made in his program in one year. Hope you enjoy sitting next to Neuheisel on the Pac-12 channel next year. All four of us will be watching.

If there is anything we’ve learned this week it’s that you can’t trust polls.

Unless they are our own.

It’s been a while since USC has had a number next to it. Hopefully it stays for a while and keeps getting lower.

Game Preview

If you told me early in the season that a 1–3 USC would be a part of a College Gameday, I would have thought it was some sick joke played by ESPN, picking the game against Notre Dame to show how far our programs have fallen. But I was wrong as we rebounded to 6–3, and Notre Dame, well, Notre Dame is 3–6.

Possibly the greatest game in recent memories for Trojan fans as they got a rare opportunity to rush the field. Some took the opportunity to take a selfie with the opposing coach and adopt that sort of social media-obsessed lifestyle for the next three years.

Am I right to assume Washington won’t let us do that in their stadium this Saturday?

Really can’t trust Vegas anymore after they got one of the biggest events in history wrong. Vegas, polls, experts, facts. All untrustworthy. Just go with your gut.

USC has been 0–3 as underdogs this year, and haven’t won against the spread since 2014. An ominous sign for the Trojans.

No more thinly veiled digs by opposing coaches by being called the most talented team in Pac-12. USC is now back to USC. Only took ten weeks!

You may remember Coach Petersen from the time he coached the Boise State team that beat Oregon so badly that Legarrette Blount decided to punch his opponent after the game instead of the ceremonial handshake. Petersen did very well at Boise State, which propelled him to the Washington job, with a lot of help from USC.

The Trojans hiring away Steve Sarkisian from Washington allowed the vacancy to open (it was going to open regardless, because Sarkisian and his booze cruise trips were about to get canned regardless). Before the move, Petersen was actually vetted as a candidate for the USC job, but our athletic director at the time said he couldn’t handle the bright lights of Los Angeles. The irony of all of this is that Petersen handled the bright lights pretty well, as he beat USC in the Coliseum and left Sarkisian so distraught that he fell back on the wagon and was promptly fired.

That concludes our weekly segment on how Pat Haden ruined our athletic program.

While Darnold is putting on a show down South, Browning is playing like the best quarterback in the nation up North. Too bad the keys to the Nissan Heisman House have already been sent to Lamar Jackson.

So who’s better?

While I’d like to agree with Hawkins, Browning slightly edges out Darnold purely because of record and the three-game head start.

Don’t expect our offense to put up 40 points like we have during our winning streak. We aren’t playing safety schools anymore.

Hopefully they included a Seahawks fan wearing a 12th Man jerseys. Or someone with some gear from their local NBA team.

Don’t worry Seattle. The Sonics are coming back. Just got to give it a couple more decades.

Glad to see Clay Helton pulling out all the stops to prepare his team for the loud atmosphere in Husky Stadium. Playing away has not been his strong suit during his young career. Hopefully he soaked the practice balls in water to simulate for the rain on Saturday. Have to account for everything.

Prediction

This is going to be a tough game on both sides of the ball. Talent wise, the teams are about equal with a slight edge to USC, but Washington’s team as a whole executes their game plan much more effectively. That should explain their undefeated record and chance at the College Football Playoff spot.

It’s going to be a tough game for the Trojans. The key will be running the ball and with all three running backs back, there should be some success against this stout Washington defense.

Coach Helton is awful during away games. To win this we have to play perfectly: Limit the penalties, no stupid timeouts because of the crowd noise, and absolutely zero turnovers.

Both teams are great on both sides of the ball, so it’s hard to know whether this will be a dog fight or a barn-burner. If it’s a dog fight, I might have to give the edge to the Huskies (obviously).

However, none of this analysis matters because the game will be decided on one factor: Lee Corso

Whoever Corso picks, wins. Let’s hope College Gameday packed a Trojan helmet and sword on their way to Seattle.

Team Corso Picks: More Points — Team Corso Doesn’t Pick: Less Points

(USC 27 — Washington 24)

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