Did you hear about the seventeen-year-old Queens resident, Natasha Martinez, who was stabbed eleven times last week by a black male wearing a white hoodie?

Yep, just a few days ago, as this young lady was walking home from her job at Mickey D’s, and right in front of her house, Natasha was jumped by a black dude in a white hoodie and suffered eleven stab wounds -- she is in serious condition. Her state was so grave the doctors at Jamaica Hospital had to remove her spleen and confiscate a vein from her leg and implant it into her arm.

Back to my original question: Did you catch that story last week?

You didn’t?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Now, don’t feel bad if you didn’t hear about it because very few people heard about this attempted murder because, I’m a guessin’, the knife wielder was a young black male dressed up like Obama’s son, in an angelic white hoodie. But hey, what the heck do I know? I’m a white devil.

I will venture to guess however -- no … guarantee -- that if the culprit was a chunky, white, Hispanic male with a cracker surname and the victim was a Skittle-eating black teen, sporting a hoodie who smokes weed and says “motherf**ker” every other word on Twitter, you’d have heard about it even if you lived in Osama’s old cave in the remote mountains of Suckistan.

Check it out: when I googled “Natasha Martinez stabbed 11 times” the first two pages of Google showed coverage via the New York Daily News, gothamist.com, washingtontimes.com, newyork.cbslocal.com, wnd.com, dailyentertainmentnews.com, freerepublic.com, on.aol.com, abclocal.go.com, and myfoxny.com. But by Friday 8/2/13 at 4:12pm[est] I saw jack squat from any major news sources like CNN, NBC, MSNBC, ABC or CBS. Indeed, there was a little local stuff but zilch coming from the national boys regarding this vicious, wicked, attack. Piers Morgan. Where are you buddy?

Their silence is understandable, however, because if they were to report that a black male in a hooded shirt viciously hacked up a cute teenage young lady with a six inch fixed blade, then that would whizz on all the money they spent over the last year and a half with the Trayvon fable.

No doubt though, if this column does go viral and it flushes the likes of the slick-haired Sharpton from whatever rotted log he’s living under, he’ll say,

The white Hispanic girl profiled the hoodie wearing angel and was taunting and shaming the innocent child with her gainful employment at an oppressive evil corporation. When that did not suffice in devastating said youth the lady cracker then went into full attack mode striking the gentle lad multiple times with her stomach, kidneys, back and triceps, leaving the victimized African-American with no other recourse than to defend himself with a six-inch kitchen knife that he just so happened to have on his person because he was hungry and in search of a hot meal to feed his famished belly that hadn’t been fed in lo!, so many days because of immoral white witches like Natasha have taken up all the jobs at McDonalds.