Types of Parenting Styles

Being a parent isn't easy. We've all seen a child throwing a tantrum in a store when they don't get the toy or candy that they wanted, but a crucial aspect of that event is how the parent reacts based on their parenting style. Parenting styles have profound effects on a child's development, and even though we've seen all types of parenting, there are four main styles that produce different outcomes. Diana Baumrind, one of the most revered psychologists involved with parenting style research, identified three parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive. About two decades later in 1983, Maccoby and Martin further developed the model by differentiating the permissive parenting style into indulgent permissive and neglectful parenting and basing the four styles on variations in demandingness and responsiveness. What type of parenting style did your parents have? Were they strict? Did they let you be out late at night? Or did you have an early curfew? The following is an explanation of the four main parenting styles to help you understand which parenting style is great for raising a happy, well-behaved, and high-achieving child.

Categories

Authoritative

Authoritative parenting styles are considered to by the most beneficial and effective style for children based on extensive research. This style is high on both demandingness and responsiveness. Baumrind would describe these parents as imparting clear standards for their children's conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive" (Baumrind p. 62). Parents are not motivated by an external unquestionable standard as authoritarian parents are, instead they think about their child's individual needs and recognize that their isn't just one rule of all. They set in place a certain rule structure, but allow choice within it. For example, they may set a rule structure that requires their child to wear clothes, but they allow them to wear anything they'd like. Even though they present themselves as authority figures, they are also warm, caring, and responsive to their child's needs. Instead of providing only punishment, they often times also discuss the reasons for punishment to help improve their child's behavior in future. An emphasis is placed on open communication rather than absolute rule of law.



How to help identify if you are an authoritative parent: Do you provide reasons for why you punish your child?

Do you provide comfort and affection after your punishing your child?

Are your expectations that you have reasonable?

Do you have healthy open communication so they feel like they can speak of anything without fear of punishment?

Check out the following video to see this parenting style in action:



Authoritarian

Authoritarian parenting errs on the stricter side of parenting, involving rigid and demanding parenting. According to Baumrind, she describes these types of parents as "obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation" (Baumrind 1991 p. 62). With respect to the first dimension of parenting styles, they are low on the responsive scale by providing less affection, praise, and attention to their child's individual needs. They also don't allow much negotiation or choice within the strict rule structure at is set in place. When their children are commit wrongdoing, they tend to punish their children by not displaying affection. With the second dimension of parenting styles, they are very high on demandingness since expect their rules to be followed without question; one could think of a drill sergeant as a model of what they'd be like. How to identify Do you show little affection to your child, even during time of punishment?

Is punishment your only go-to to get your child to do what you want?

Do you have strict rules that should be followed no matter what?

Do you find yourself using phrases such as “Because I said so”, “Do as I say-- or else”, “do this now, no ifs ands or buts”, or “I am the authority and I don’t care what you think”?

Watch this video to see this in action (note the punishment with little display of affection or opportunity for their son to voice his perspective):

Permissive

Permissive parenting tends to favor the more lenient side of parenting. According to Baumrind, these types of parents are warm, but dismissive (Baumrind, 1991). They are high on the responsive scale because they provide more affection, praise, and attention to their child's individual needs. They grant their children a high degree of autonomy and tend to monitor their children's behavior very little. (Rebecca S. Hock, 2013：112) Although they tend to be warm, these parents do not demand the same levels of achievement and behavior from their children （Lightfoot, Cole, and Cole 2013:349). They allow their children too much control and do not hold a strict rule structure. With the second dimension of parenting styles, they are very low on demandingness. One could think of a friend rather than a parent as a model of what they'd be like. Permissive parents don’t present themselves as authority figures or role models. They might use reason or manipulation to get what they want. But they avoid exercising overt power (Baumrind 1966). How to identify: Do you have few behavioral expectations and rules for your child?

Do you ignore your child's misconduct and let them get away from punishment?

Are you typically very nurturing and loving towards your children, even when they misbehave?

Do you act more like a peer rather that a parent to your children?

Do you emphasize your children's freedom rather than responsibility?

Do you tend to ask your children's opinions on major decisions?

Watch this video for example of permissive parenting.

Example of permissive parenting



Neglectful/Uninvolved