Urp-le-let me t-tell you g-guys about some-some-hic that right fuck-fucks me off. Right?! S-see, I get drunk a...alot. I know. I fucking drink so much I can piss out vodka...

Bu-but see...What I fuckin' hate, what I fookin' hate...Fuck...Is when I bump me teakettle into a bloody wall. It hurts like a fu...like a fuckin' buggering, right, with a spiky...spspik....spiky dildo. HIC! I once cracked t...ta back o' m...me head. HIC! Against a doorway. I hav...Hic, hic! Hav...have no clue when that fookin' happened. But it hurt for an hour...and...An- I still get pain p-pangs when I th...think about it.