#15) How to Open a Banana (And Grab Life By the Balls)

Time: Now



Cost: $0

Difficulty: Easier than its ever been



Ceiling Height: Infinite

Life’s Got Balls, Grab Em’



I am the kind of individual that desperately avoids the use of clichés. There is nothing more frustrating to me than the regurgitation and repurposing of inspirational quotes and ideas that have been beaten to a pulp more times than Young Chris Brown’s Teddy Bears. With that being said…though the topic of opportunity can be considered cliché, I believe so strongly in its importance, that I am completely willing to risk my artistic moral code (which is mainly based around obnoxious gifs) to share the balls of life with you. They’re much easier to grab than you would think.

This Shit is Banana’s

If you are an individual born in a well developed country at this point in human exsistance, you have been gifted beyond belief. Those of you lucky enough to have been born into this kind of situation (myself included), have been surrounded by nothing but opportunity since the day you were born. Though it can sometimes be difficult to find, once you start delving deeper and really looking close at the potential we have surrounding us it can almost be overwhelming. But god damn is it freeing.

Want to start a website? You can do it.

Want to change a little African kids life? You can do it.

Want to be a world leader? You can do it.

Want to set a world record? You can do it.

Want to be the next big startup? The government will freakin pay you to do it.

Want to express your religion and sexuality freely? For the most part… you can do it.

Want to be the next big Youtube star? You can do it.

With the emergence of the internet, lack of education is no longer an excuse. With the emergence of the internet, social status becomes infinitely less important. With the emergence of the internet, you can now fund anything…and I mean anything you want with the right marketing and vision behind it. Through using this tool we can access any resource we need to build our dreams

And that’s why I believe there has never been a better time for any individual to take life, and grab it by the balls so hard its forced to give you success. No excuses and no bullshit. Just hard work, and passion. And I think that’s fucking incredible.

Also, here is How to Open a Banana the right way



Thanks for reading, and we’ll talk next week.

#4) How to be Stoked at Any Time of the Day

Time: 5-15min

Cost: $0



Stokedness Increase: 65%

Likeability Increase: 2 More Highfives/Day

Why Should You Care?

Great question, why should you spend the next five minutes of your day reading this? As a reader you are probably saying” I have my paper work to do, people to call, tests to study for, facebook feeds to scroll on…. I don’t have time for your words Stephen!” And that’s when I would retort with, “You’re wrong!” And you would probably say “What? I’m never wrong!”, and then I would slap you and tell you to “Get it, together man!”

Here’s Why…

“Being stoked is the epitome of all being. When one is stoked, there is no limit to what one can do.”

To be stoked is to be the epitome of all being. How fucking awesome is that??!! What comes to your mind when ones says the epitome of all being?

Dancing like an idiot for days? Literally days.

Flying down a mountain with skis strapped to you feet just barely on the edge of control?

Walking up to the bus stop as soon as it arrives?

Finally getting that cute girls (or guys) number?

An amazing intimate and consensual sexual experience with said individual?

Getting one more subscriber on your Youtube channel? hint hint 😉

I think what attracts me most about this concept, is the fact that the word stoked suggests that there are no limits being placed on an individual. To be stoked, is to remove all your walls, put yourself out there and just be.

In the wise words of Jay Z

So How Does One Get Stoked?

Also a great question! Here is a panel answering that question for you as well as what dangers to our society arise when of individuals are always so stoked.

For those of you who don’t regularly eat sick ass nachos, or shred down the mountain doing sick back flips and shit, there’s

15 minutes of Stoked

15 minutes of stoked is something that I have been doing for the past few months now, and it has made balancing the many aspects of my life much easier. Anytime I am feeling down or un-energetic in times where its important for me to be on my game, I will stop what I’m doing and make sure this gets done.

Step 1: Find a place that you have enough space in to move around and get active. Ideally somewhere were you can make some noise and get cray.

Step 3: Start doing stuff. Honestly, you can do whatever the heck you want to as long as it is something that gets your blood flowin and puts a smile on your face. Jumping jacks, push ups, the moonwalk, high fiving your co workers. Do whatever turns you on for those 5-15minutes. I can guarantee that if you were staying active, doing what you love for that time, you will have a huge smile on your face after, and will be recharged and ready to go for whatever is next in your day.



But don’t take my word for it, watch this video of a guy who looks and sounds very similar to me telling you all about. All the steps are there to make sure you are super stoked, 24/7 baby.

Ps: This doesn’t have to literally be 15 minutes of your day. You can set the timer for 5 minutes, you can set it for 10 min, you can set it for 2. As long as you’re getting active and being silly for a whatever amount of time works for you, I promise you will feel better. Give it a try, and comment below if it worked for you.

Thanks again, and we’ll talk next week.

#3) How to be a Less Shitty Rommate

Time: 5min-1hr

Cost: $0

Increase in Quality of Life: 78.3%

Decrease in Chance of Burnt Mail: 100%

Decide to live with your friends this year? Want to stay friends? Not living with your friends and still want your roommate to not hate you? Do you have roommates? Did you say yes to one of those questions? No? Doesn’t matter cause this post is awesome and you want to read it anyways. Here’s 8 Step’s to being a less shitty roommate. Listen close newly moved out folk, this is for you.

#1) TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE

Seriously, its garbage. It gets stinky and very gross very fast. If its a bunch of mysterious Kleenex’s, maybe ask your roommate to do it instead.

#2) SHOW YOUR ROOMMATES SOME LOVE

Sometimes in our busy lives it can be easy to ignore the people that you live with, and we sometimes spend more time arguing over who ate who’s Cheerio’s then actually just hanging out. Leave the house, grab a beer (or pumpkin spice latte) and get some good time away from the house with them. The opposite can also happen, so if you find yourself spending too much time with this person, get outta thur or else they will get very annoying very fast.

#3) WEAR HEADPHONES WHEN LISTENING TO LOUD MUSIC/MOVIES AT NIGHT

An easy way to piss off your roommate is to watch the last season of Friends on full blast at 1 in the morning right before a big test. As hilarious as Ross is, I care about my sleep much more. On the other end of this, if you have a SO over, turn it up. No-one wants to hear the sex they’re not having.

#4) WASH YOUR DISHES

The last thing you want is for those dishes to pile up until you need a stool to grab them. No-one is gonna tackle that shit, the best thing is to wash them as soon as your done, or throw them in the dishwasher (if you have one).

#5) DON’T EAT YOUR ROOMMATES FOOD

I think this can be a) the most annoying and b) the most legitimately upsetting thing someone can do living with them. This might just be my opinion due to some mysteriously missing avocados the other day…. But seriously, this is stuff with an actual dollar value you’re stealing from someone. Not cool man…not cool.

#6) DON’T LEAVE SHIT ON THE FLOOR

Did you just eat a Mars Bar? Did you just throw that wrapper on the floor? Did you just get home? Did you just throw your dirty socks on the ground in front of the fridge (guilty)? Also grapes, I’ve dropped a lot of grapes. Don’t do this, clean it.

#7) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, REPLACE THE TOILET PAPER

This doesn’t need any explanation. We’ve all been there, and it sucks. Don’t be that person.

Seriously

# 8) DON’T BURN YOUR ROOMMATES MAIL (UNLESS THEY DISREGARD EVERYTHING I’VE SAID)

Burning your roommates scholarship is a terrible thing to do, unforgivable even. But, according to the written law of Lithuania* you are allowed to burn your roommates mail if they don’t do the above activities. Good luck my friends.

*That was a lie

AND IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH! Here is everything I just wrote but in HD video!!

Please like, subscribe and share if you think this is worthy of human eyes. .

Have some crazy roommate stories? Have any other good tips for roommates? Share them below, and they could be featured in a future post!