WASHINGTON — Why not just go with Dirk Diggler?

I mean, if you’re going to pick a fake name to pay off a porn star you’ve dallied with, why choose something bland like David Dennison?

If you are, after all, Donald Trump, the king of grandiosity, go for a name worthy of being Stormy Daniels’s real-life co-star.

A proper moniker is in order if Trump is going to be our first porn president.

Kim Jong-un can drag him away for talks about the relative size of their nuclear buttons. Justin Trudeau can tackle him for relief on tariffs. Robert Mueller can continue his imperturbable march through the Trump family’s field of lies.

But Donald Trump will not be deterred. He is determined to be our most shameless president, running a White House awash in salacious stories and louche characters.