Standard Disclaimer: All rights belong to those whose rights they belong to, primarily the glorious minds at Rooster Teeth, though quite namely not me. Don't own a thing.

ItsAlsoAGun: Okay, so everybody on?

da_Blondeshell: Yep, I'm here Rubbles.

kitten_ninja: Present.

WeissSchnee: And I am here as well.

ItsAlsoAGun: (giggles) Weeeiss, you can't just use your real name on the Discord chat server!

WeissSchnee: What? Why not?

da_Blondeshell:'Cause, princess, it's like an alias, right? So come up with something cool!

WeissSchnee: (scoffs) Oh, like "da blondeshell"?

da_Blondeshell: Exactly!

WeissSchnee: (grumbles) Fine, fine…

DustHeiress: There, happy now?

kitten_ninja: How… original.

DustHeiress: Look, I'm trying, alright? I don't get all this… you know… gaming culture.

ItsAlsoAGun: I know, Weiss! And hey, you're here, right? So that's really cool, a big first step! Hey, how's Atlas?

DustHeiress: Cold.

ItsAlsoAGun: Um… but it's summer.

DustHeiress: Yes. I know.

ItsAlsoAGun: Okaaay… How about you, Blakey? Still at Beacon?

kitten_ninja: I decided to stay, yes.

ItsAlsoAGun: Cool! Um… what computer are you using?

kitten_ninja: I'm in the library.

da_Blondeshell: But it's after the library closed!

kitten_ninja: I admit to nothing.

ItsAlsoAGun: Wait, how are you…? You broke into the library? Blake, what if someone sees you?

kitten_ninja: No one will see me.

da_Blondeshell: Blake… did you break into the Librarian's office?

kitten_ninja: I admit to nothing.

da_Blondeshell: (laughs) Alright, so we ready to do this? Kick some monster ass?

ItsAlsoAGun: Yang, it's not that kind of a game… you did do the tutorial, right?

da_Blondeshell: Yep, sure did! So when do we get to fight back?

ItsAlsoAGun: (sighs) ...You don't. You just try to survive and escape.

kitten_ninja: Why is it called Dead by Daylight? Every screenshot I saw was of the night.

ItsAlsoAGun: Maybe 'cause you'll be dead by daylight if you don't get out?

kitten_ninja: Oh. That makes sense, I suppose.

ItsAlsoAGun: Okay, then! So just to make this less confusing, let's all pick different characters, okay? I got dibs on Meg, 'cause she's the one I've been levelling up.

DustHeiress: I thought we were all just starting out?

ItsAlsoAGun: Well, you guys are, but I've got this really cool perk on mine that lets me heal you faster if we get into a bind. That's real helpful.

DustHeiress: Oh. Very well, I approve.

da_Blondeshell: (snorts) So glad we have your permission. Right, so I call Claudia, she looks badass. Cool knit hat, too.

ItsAlsoAGun: Here, I just invited you all into a friends lobby.

da_Blondeshell: Yup, I'm in. Oh, hey, Meg is kinda cute!

ItsAlsoAGun: Why thank you, sis.

da_Blondeshell: Anytime, Rubes. Oh, who's that?

kitten_ninja: It's me. I like Nea.

da_Blondeshell: Hey, we both have cool hats! We're twins!

kitten_ninja: Yes. Obviously separated at birth.

DustHeiress: Wait… Meg, Claudia, Nea… Where are the other girl characters?

ItsAlsoAGun: Um, that's it.

DustHeiress: ...

DustHeiress: I have to play a guy?

da_Blondeshell: You know what, princess? You go ahead and take Claudia. I'll change to Jake, he looks cute.

kitten_ninja: Really, Yang?

da_Blondeshell: What, he does!

DustHeiress: Thank you, Yang. That was very kind of you.

ItsAlsoAGun: Alright, alright… So we're all together, does everyone know how this works?

da_Blondeshell: Yep, totally!

DustHeiress: What are the generators for?

kitten_ninja: How do we tell if the killer is nearby?

da_Blondeshell: Oh, um… Yeah, I was wondering about these hook thingies…

ItsAlsoAGun: (sighs loudly) Okay. I'm gonna run through this really quick, even though it was all in the tutorial…

DustHeiress: Oh! I remember something about being able to hide in grass!

ItsAlsoAGun: Er… yeah. Not really, unless it's really dark and you don't move and the killer sucks.

DustHeiress: ...Oh.

ItsAlsoAGun: Right. So we're four survivors, and the killer is tryin' to get us. We have to power generators on to open the doors to escape. The killer, if he hits us twice, or grabs us while we're doin' something like working on a generator or helping someone off a hook or stuff like that, he can put us on a hook. Other survivors can get them off the hook, but eventually we die if left on the hook too long. Okay so far?

kitten_ninja: So far, so good.

ItsAlsoAGun: Awesome! So when you do a generator, there's this skill check thingie that comes up, you hit the spacebar when it crosses the bar. Oh, and that can happen when you heal, too. Um… When the killer gets close, you can hear his heartbeat, so hide or freeze… If you have to run, juke back and forth… Oh! And there's these barricades you can pull down, hit the spacebar for that too, and you can vault through windows with the spacebar… Um, that's pretty much it. So, we ready?

da_Blondeshell: Born ready!

DustHeiress: (sighs) I suppose.

kitten_ninja: I have concerns…

ItsAlsoAGun: Great! Click the ready on the screen, and hopefully we'll get right into a game!

DustHeiress: Well, here we are… Why can I not see your names anymore?

ItsAlsoAGun: They took that out last patch, I think it's better this way, folk don't drop right out if they think the others will be too easy or too hard or whatever…

da_Blondeshell: So where's the killer?

ItsAlsoAGun: We can't see him, when the game's over, then we can see his name and loadout and stuff… Okay, so we're in Autohaven Wreckers, that's a cool one, easy to run around and hide…

DustHeiress: Ruby, this is very creepy. And I'm all alone.

kitten_ninja: I'm right here, Weiss.

DustHeiress: Oh, thank Dust. Where to?

kitten_ninja: There's a generator this way.

ItsAlsoAGun: Okay, found a hook, I can tell by looking at it we got a Trapper. This'll be easy. So, watch where you walk for bear traps.

da_Blondeshell: Bear traps? This is so cool… Oh, hey, is that a heartbeat?

ItsAlsoAGun: I dunno, Yang, where are you?

da_Blondeshell: Um, by a bus.

ItsAlsoAGun: Oh, yeah I'm close, lemme… Oops, yeah I hear it too, and it's… Oh crap, getting closer… Whew, he left. Okay, meet me by the generator over here.

da_Blondeshell: Over where?

ItsAlsoAGun: Yang… Here, other side of the bus, you see me?

da_Blondeshell: Yep, I see ya, Rubes… Hey, what's the red light over there?

ItsAlsoAGun: Red light…? OH CRAP HEARTBEAT HEARTBEAT HE'S ON ME I'M RUNNING!

da_Blondeshell: Where are you, I lost you!

ItsAlsoAGun: I'm running like the wind! Hahaha, you can't catch me, you can't… AAARGH!

kitten_ninja: Let me guess, he caught you.

DustHeiress: Oh, I see you now, Ruby… Oh. Did he just whack you with an axe?

ItsAlsoAGun: Yep, got me again, I'm down. Can you see my red outline?

da_Blondeshell: Oh, yeah, I see you! ...And now I don't.

ItsAlsoAGun: That's 'cause he picked me up. Please, please, please don't take me down to the sex dungeon…

DustHeiress: Sex dungeon?! Ruby, what kind of game is this?

ItsAlsoAGun: No, that's just what they call the room in the basement with four hooks, really hard to escape from… Okay, no, I'm getting hooked over here. So, I tried to wiggle out but I couldn't, now I'm hooked… Um, anytime you guys wanna come help, soon as he leaves… Alright, so he just put a trap down nearby… and he's gone. Anybody?

da_Blondeshell: I'm comin' for ya, Rubes! I'm… Shit.

ItsAlsoAGun: Yep, that's the bear trap.

da_Blondeshell: It sounded cooler before I got trapped by one. Oh, shit! Heartbeat! Annnd I just got picked up. Hey there, buddy, I expect a drink at least before this kinda rough play…

ItsAlsoAGun: Um, Blake, Weiss? Could really use some help, I'm about to die here…

da_Blondeshell: Oh, hey, now I'm hooked. Um, should I try to escape?

ItsAlsoAGun: Is he camping?

da_Blondeshell: Huh?

ItsAlsoAGun: I mean, is he hanging around there by you?

da_Blondeshell: Um, I don't hear a heartbeat…

ItsAlsoAGun: Then no, just stay put. I really need some help now, though, guys… Oh! Heya, Blakey!

kitten_ninja: I've got you, Ruby… Um, is that…?

ItsAlsoAGun: Heartbeat, yeah, run! SHIT! SHIT FUCKING FUCKITY SHIT HOW DID HE GET ME ALREADY?!

da_Blondeshell: Ruby!

ItsAlsoAGun: I'm sorry, I just… Argh! And now I'm dead.

DustHeiress: What on Remnant was that?

ItsAlsoAGun: I got sacrificed.

DustHeiress: Sacrificed? Ruby, what kind of game is this?

da_Blondeshell: Sooo, yeah, still just hangin' around here… Not gettin' Yangry or anything, but I could reeeally use a hand…

kitten_ninja: I'm coming, Yang.

ItsAlsoAGun: Okay, so I'm at the summary screen here, lemme see what… he… has… Oh, kittens.

DustHeiress: What, Ruby? What?

ItsAlsoAGun: Well… so, guys, this "gat_style" guy, he's like, really advanced… He's got four perks, Iron Grip, that's why I couldn't wiggle free… Okay, and the one that lets them see the crows when they fly off, Spies From The Shadows, the one where they can see wounded survivors, that's how he caught me… Oh. Oh, no. Insidious.

kitten_ninja: That does not sound good.

ItsAlsoAGun: If he stands still for two seconds, the heartbeat fades away. You guys, that's how he keeps sneaking up on us, he's standing still and…

kitten_ninja: (screams)

ItsAlsoAGun: Blake! Okay, I'm spectating… Oh, yikes. No, not that way, Blake! Go through the window! Ah, yeah, he's got a long reach, now you're wounded…

kitten_ninja: (panicky voice) Thank you, Ruby, I can see that!

da_Blondeshell: Weiss, come help me while the killer is chasing Blake!

DustHeiress: But I almost have this generator finally!

da_Blondeshell: WEISS YOU USELESS LESBIAN COME GET ME OFF THIS DAMNED HOOK!

DustHeiress: Fine, I'm coming… No need to be rude about it. Wait, Blake why are you running this way?

kitten_ninja: I'M NOT TRYING TO BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING!

DustHeiress: Well, run somewhere else, I'm trying to… (shrieks)

ItsAlsoAGun: Oops, and now the killer is after Weiss.

DustHeiress: Thank you, Ruby! Now tell me where to go!

ItsAlsoAGun: Juke right! No, your other right! Yep, now go around that thingie… loop around the boulder… Oh, shoot. He was waiting there for you.

DustHeiress: DAMNIT RUBY YOU ARE NOT HELPING HERE!

kitten_ninja: Okay, I'm coming back for you, Yang, I'm just… limping. Slowly.

da_Blondeshell: Whoa! Nope, okay, I just got raped by the tentacle spike thingies. Ouch, that looked painful. Hey, and now I'm running alongside Ruby, we're both sacrificed.

DustHeiress: Where is he taking me?

ItsAlsoAGun: Um… yeah. That'd be the sex dungeon.

DustHeiress: I do not like this place, Ruby. I do not like this place at all. Blake, don't you dare abandon me down here. It's icky.

da_Blondeshell: (snorts) Icky? Really? Here, lemme spectate… Ooooh, yeah, pretty gross.

kitten_ninja: (sighs) Alright, I'm coming…

ItsAlsoAGun: Wait, Blake! If she dies, you can still get the escape hatch open, if we got… Wait, what? We didn't get any generators done?

DustHeiress: Well I would have gotten one done if Yang hadn't insisted on my leaving it to help her!

da_Blondeshell: Well excuse me for being thrown on a hook like a freaking slab of meat!

kitten_ninja: I don't hear a heartbeat. I'm creeping in the building, hang on Weiss… Oh. Is that…?

ItsAlsoAGun: Yup. That's the killer, waiting there for you.

kitten_ninja: Does he see me?

ItsAlsoAGun: Kinda hard not to, I think he's playing with you at this point.

kitten_ninja: Sooo… what do I do?

ItsAlsoAGun: Okay. Blake, run. Weiss, try to get off the hook.

kitten_ninja: On it.

DustHeiress: Alright, I'm trying… Ahh, what was that thing?

da_Blondeshell: It's the tentacle stabbity thingie! Weiss, hit the spacebar, hit the… Never mind. Too late.

ItsAlsoAGun: Run, Blake, run! Oooh, nice juke, now pull that down… Yeah, you're a pro at this! Oh! Um… oops?

kitten_ninja: I do not like these bear traps. And now he has me.

ItsAlsoAGun: Try to wiggle out! Use the A and D keys, back and forth really speedy fast, and… Nope, never mind, you're hooked… and game over.

da_Blondeshell: Whelp, that sucked. Wow, look at the killer's score. He got more than all of us combined.

ItsAlsoAGun: Yeah, that was pretty terrible. But fun, right, guys? Guys?

DustHeiress: No.

ItsAlsoAGun: Aww, but Weiss…

DustHeiress: I played this… game once. Now I am done.

DustHeiress has disconnected.

da_Blondeshell: Yeah, that's enough excitement for one day, I'm gonna go for a ride on Bumblebee. See ya, Rubes, Blakey.

da_Blondeshell has disconnected.

ItsAlsoAGun: (sighs) Well, at least we got to play a game…

kitten_ninja: Ruby?

ItsAlsoAGun: Yeah, Blakey?

kitten_ninja: I… actually had fun. Can we play again?

ItsAlsoAGun: Really? Yeah, sure thing! Lemme send you another invite...

'gat_style' leaned back in her chair with a satisfied smirk on her face. She grinned wider as she felt a warm pair of arms encircle her shoulders from behind.

"What are you doing, love?" a breath ghosted across her ear.

The brunette turned to regard her Rabbit Faunus girlfriend. "Oh, you know, just schooling some noobs. Not really even a challenge."

Velvet grinned and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Well, if you're done being the big bad killer, can you help me level up as a survivor?"

Nodding, Coco gave her a cheeky wink. "Sure thing bun-bun, log on and I'll fire up Discord…"

A/N: Yep, just a short little ditty that's been percolating in the back of my head for awhile now. I actually voiced the idea (to my daughters and my eldest daughter's friend and roommate for the next college semester) over Discord, while we were queueing up for another round of Dead by Daylight, and they seemed to like the idea. So, here we go. For the record, this occurs over the summer, with Ruby and Yang at home in Patch, Weiss in Atlas, and Blake still at Beacon. Illegally.

Oh, and I've been dying to play the "Weiss, you useless lesbian" meme card for some time.

Yeah, I'm kinda hooked on this game. One last thing, my youngest keeps complaining I play like Ruby, totally unhelpful when I spectate. I don't see it.

Stay shiny!