Inspired by Dr. Slammy’s insightful and illuminating piece, Is America ready for an honest conversation about abortion yet?

My wife’s wise words notwithstanding, they’re representative of those who view abortion as a women’s rights issue. But to pro-lifers, that concern is dwarfed by one much larger: preventing murder. Furthermore, to them, a woman’s right to control her own body not only palls before the need to save a life, but is indicative of the me-first syndrome that threatens to rend the fabric of society as sure as abortion does.

As an unambiguous proponent of abortion, I feel that I can afford to give pro-lifers the benefit of the doubt. Let’s assume that they actually are more interested in saving lives than keeping women in their place. Also, out of respect to pro-lifers, let’s drag out that old war-horse of a question –- is abortion murder? — and flog it again.

My personal spiritual exploration has led me to conclude that life may begin at conception, but strictly as a seed. Pro-lifers need to give their deity more credit: Would a just God insert a soul into an undeveloped body and brain?

What do pro-lifers think a soul would be doing in a fetus that size during the first two trimesters? Twiddling its thumbs? Maybe, if they were more developed. Life in a fetus is the equivalent of a coma.

Second, pro-choicers, however, need to cede that there really is a “cide” side to abortion, as in infanticide. A hint of abandoning the newborn on the steppes. However, the extinguishment quotient is less than in euthanizing a pet.

Running from it only encourages that tiny seed of denied guilt over abortion to grow like the aborted fetus doesn’t. Of course, making the case to pro-lifers that “It’s just like putting a sick dog to sleep” will only add insult to injury. But it’s of immense benefit to those pro-choicers who like to think that the issue of human life is entirely extraneous to abortion.

The Real Reason It’s Called a Mothership

Meanwhile, aboard a mothership on the edge of our solar system, an alien version of an ob-gyn wields a long pipette. To an attending doctor, he transmits: “Aren’t earthling abortion quarrels quaint? The energy earthlings squander over them would be better spent saving their ecosphere from the same kind of certain destruction that ours suffered.

“Otherwise, within a generation, the whole abortion argument will be moot. Earth’s spoiled environment will ravage their females’ ovaries and render them sterile, just as happened with ours.”

Bending to his task, he asks, “Is the earth woman sufficiently distended?”

When his assistant nods, he inserts the alien sperm.

Once the doctor removes the pipette and straightens, his assistant turns to him.

“Wait a minute. Then who’s going to supply us with eggs and carry our fetuses to full term?”