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“We’re also going to have a nice Ontario Retirement Pension Plan, which’ll take a nice 1.9 per cent out of your payroll as well, including all of your workers. We’re going to have a carbon tax to solve climate change, we’re going to sell Hydro One for nothing because it’s $58 billion in debt with $20 billion worth of assets and that’s how we’re going to build subways in Toronto and that’s basically good economics.

“That’s how we get to a $308-billion deficit — or debt — and a $1.9-billion deficit which is bigger than last year’s, but fortunately that’s going to go away all by itself because we’re going to teach all of our children to have sex education in Grade 1.”

The punch line: “So that’s how you f— things up!”

The crowd laughed. “I think we’re doing, she’s doing, a marvellous — ,” MacLaren goes on before the recording stops.

Later, apparently attributing the jokes to Liberals, he told one about a long-married couple, so dirty that editors wouldn’t allow me to tell you what it is. But the crowd roared and clapped.

“You can see those Liberal speechwriters really do have some talent!” MacLaren cracked.

He joked about why “Divorce Barbie” is so much more expensive than all the other Barbies (she comes with all of Ken’s things!), about how his wife gives money to the homeless and he gives money to the topless, and about what happens to boobs and willies as people age (melons become onions, which make you cry; oaks become Christmas trees, which are dead above the roots).