You’re in your car, a hybrid, listening to the news when suddenly that wave of mild interest and self-satisfaction is replaced by a sense of loss but not without some hope. Yes, an NPR story has just ended. You marvel at the sweet pain it has left you with like the aftertaste of fair trade coffee that deep down you know is fair to no one.

But from where did that sensation arise? Could it be?

Yes, it was the ending of that story that made you feel that way. Those few word before the exotic name. Snip Loshgosh. Steve Inskate. Neem Totingbag. Cynthia Rojollery. (You love these names, but for some reason you can never seem to retain them. Like all those wonderful details about the cost of barley in Chile, these details just roll in and out of your head like waves.) It’s nothing you can quite put your finger on, but still the unmistakable dread. Was it the story? Or was it the reporter’s intonation that made you feel that way — that meaningful, suggestive force of the mild emphasis mixed with despair? Or was it the style of the writing itself?

As a writing teacher, I suspect it’s in the phrasing.

Now while there’s no formula to NPR stories,

here are a few tips for writing an NPR ending of your own.

Rule #1: Never summarize your points.

Everything you ever learned about writing a conclusion in school is wrong. No one needs a summary of a 2-minute story.

If they do, they have bigger problems and should switch to AM Talk radio.

[There are simply no examples of this to give. It’s just not done.]

Rule #2: Don’t tie up loose ends.

For the NPR listener the world is not a simple place. NPR listeners believe that news can only be “considered” not consumed; you do not want to end with some tidy finale.

Audubon and other conservation groups are happy that the wood stork population has increased in recent years. But Audubon officials say they believe wood storks should stay on the endangered list. They say that until Florida improves its protection of wetlands and finishes restoring the Everglades, the long-term survival of the wood stork is still very much up in the air.

Greg Allen, Wood Stork’s Endangered Status Is Up In The Air http://www.npr.org/2013/02/03/170993762/wood-storks-endangered-status-is-up-in-the-air

Rule #3 Return from the larger problem to the local, to the particular,

to that poor sad arugula farmer and his drought-plagued, withering non-GMO crops. A verklempt audience is a satisfied audience, one that will return for more suffering when there cathartic catheter needs to be drained once more.

Last year, Calvert’s father came to him ready to talk about passing down more ownership. But when Drue Calvert brought up the topic this year, his dad said no, saying he didn’t want to saddle him with more debt when crop prices are so low. And if they go any lower, Calvert and his peers will face new challenges as they strive to become the next generation of family farmers.

Abby Wendle, Cheap Crops Mean Tight Times For Midwest’s Fledgling Farmers http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2014/12/10/369777075/cheap-crops-mean-hard-times-for-midwests-fledgling-farmers

Rule #4 (which could be Rule #1)

Don’t end on a happy note.

NPR listeners would rather be smart than happy. Try cautious optimism. Conciliatory pessimism. Remember, no problem was every fully appreciated by those with rose-colored glasses. You need world-weary frames with coffee-smudged progressive lenses.

Florida is a crucial stopover for migrating birds like these. And it’s a state where bird habitat is disappearing fast. It’s the kind of place, the report says, that birds — both common and endangered — will need, if they’re to survive.

Christopher Joyce, U.S. Gets Middling Marks On 2014 ‘State Of Birds’ Report Card

http://www.npr.org/2014/09/09/347131720/u-s-gets-middling-marks-on-2014-state-of-birds-report-card

Rule #5 Never simplify in your solution to something easy.

Is life simple? Is the tax code simple? Is the nesting habit of the yellow-throated warbler simple? What about the way they serve pie at Nighthawks diner in inner-city Duluth? Life isn’t simple, so don’t simplify it.

Walking away from things like Google Maps is tougher. You know, Google Maps are built into the iPhone. They’re built into lots of things. You’d have to sort of make a very concerted effort in almost everything you do online to avoid Google. Steve Hehn, Users Can Control What Google Knows About Them

http://www.npr.org/2012/02/29/147617359/users-can-control-what-google-knows-about-them

Rule #6 Say it with a smirk.

Big cheesy grins are for local morning wake-up shows on basic cable. NPR is not about fake smiles, but the grim grin that arises on the faces of those who have been around the world on a fishing trawler (or just listened to an in-depth investigation of the intricate maritime policies that govern them). You don’t even have to lean into your radio to hear that wry NPR smirk. It’s so signature it deserves its own emoji. :-npr

Boxing has always been grubby, but the fact that it is now embarrassed that it has so descended in popularity no doubt accounts for its insecurity. It seems the sport can only attract attention to itself with an emphasis on vulgar opulence. At their advanced ages, both men are probably incapable of a knockout, so the fight should go the distance and fans will get their money’s worth.

Frank Deford, Boxing Fans Shift Focus To Small Men, Big Money

http://www.npr.org/2015/04/29/402816954/boxing-fans-shift-focus-to-small-men-big-money

Rule #7: Favor the Portentous over the Panicked, the Ominous over the Alarmist

Do not shower people with hysteria; seed the story’s finale with a feeling of dread. We’re not trying to send Chicken Little running around half-cocked. We’re just trying to fill him with a grim sense of dread. Who needs exclamation marks? This isn’t CNN!

Many people are comparing this struggle to the war on drugs, or on human trafficking. But there’s one important difference. The world can fight the illegal drug trade forever. If the illegal wildlife trade continues, the fight will someday be over, because there will be none left.

Ari Shapiro, For Elephants And Rhinos, Poaching Trends Point In Wrong Directionhttp://www.npr.org/blogs/parallels/2014/02/11/275373491/for-elephants-and-rhinos-poaching-trends-point-in-wrong-direction

Rule # 8: Fate is always Uncertain on NPR

Save certainties for Fox news. Intellectuals know you never know.

But the looting and the rioting did happen. Now the city is figuring out what comes next.

Jeff Brady, Rapper Wale Holds Town Hall With Baltimore High School Students

http://www.npr.org/2015/04/29/403094735/rapper-wale-holds-town-hall-with-baltimore-high-school-students Throughout the novel, food is consumed copiously and recorded in joyful detail, very much in keeping with local habits, yet Doyle’s hunger also seems desperate and unnerving. But ultimately it is the uncertain fate of Doyle and the others that made me as a reader feel strangely fulfilled. The decisions they make seem connected to the thrilling and terrifying changes taking place around them. Old ways collide with a brash new world, and in this game, it is not yet clear which will emerge the winner.

Tash Aw, The Tawdry Ballad Of A Man, A Casino And A Game Of Chance

http://www.npr.org/2014/04/21/297738807/the-tawdry-ballad-of-a-man-a-casino-and-a-game-of-chance

Phrases to use:

Again, while there’s no formula, there are a few phrases NPR loves (and WE love them, too). You can find them punctuating the end of many a story or Point of View piece, those muffin-sized, mini essays that round out each half hour of Morning Edition or All Things Considered.

One Thing is for Sure

One thing is for sure…[followed by something that is not comforting in the least] If life is uncertain, our lifeline is one thing for sure…

For now, organizers say this is at the grassroots level. And no matter how they plan to re-brand this region, one thing is almost certain; you’ll likely be hard-pressed to hear the word Midwest being thrown around.

Mike Moen, Should Minnesota Bid Adieu To The Midwest, Hello North?http://www.npr.org/2015/01/07/375544065/should-minnesota-bid-adieu-to-the-midwest-hello-north Well, one thing is for sure — that ad certainly got a whole lot of attention.

David Greene, Super Bowl Watchers Register Shock Over Nationwide Commercial

http://www.npr.org/2015/02/03/383454975/super-bowl-watchers-register-shock-over-nationwide-commericial Not exactly sure what all of this means, or will mean in the fastcoming future. One thing is for sure: We are all part of the story.

Linton Weeks, The Protojournalist: An NPR Project http://www.npr.org/blogs/theprotojournalist/2013/06/14/189463611/the-protojournalist-an-npr-project, One thing is for sure, the world will be watching the next OPEC meeting, to see if member countries can agree to cut back production in a bid to get prices back up again.

Chris Arnold, U.S. Gas Prices Continue To Slide Downward NPR News

http://www.npr.org/2014/10/10/355187921/u-s-gas-prices-continue-to-slide-downward

Until Then…

One day…[things might get better] [don’t count on it] but till then….Like the pat on the hand of an ailing child, you need the kindness of a conditional statement that will never be fulfilled, except perhaps in our dreams.

Perhaps one day, a fingerprint or iris or facial scanner will completely replace all the numbers and letters that unlock our digital lives, but until then a couple of hours will go a long way toward making your data secure from criminals. Simple precautions will fend off the dumbest of them, and nothing will stop the smartest. Alexis Madrigal, Lazy About Your Online Passwords? Take Control With These New Tips

http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2014/11/03/361137779/lazy-about-your-online-passwords-take-control-with-these-new-tips But the positive benefits found in the Salo study have yet to be reproduced in larger, long-term studies elsewhere. Until then, the bottom line seems to be, if you have a treadmill desk — use it. But don’t forget you still have to fit about 150 minutes of moderate to vigorous exercise into your weekly routine as well.

Patti Neighmond, Sure, Use A Treadmill Desk — But You Still Need To Exercise

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2015/03/30/392580747/sure-use-a-treadmill-desk-but-you-still-need-to-exercise

It’s not going to be easy:

There’s a lot of anger among other Republicans against this group of about 50 or so conservatives — Peter King calling them delusional, others saying that they don’t do anything toward governing. So I think there’s going to be an effort to bring them in line, but it’s not going to be easy.

Cokie Roberts, Netanyahu In D.C., DHS Funding Still Not Settled http://www.npr.org/2015/03/02/390119291/politics-in-the-news

All Together Now…

But these concerns only tell us that the problems of science and culture are complicated. There are not going to be quick answers. There are not going to be easy answers. But if we don’t deal effectively with the rising tide of science denialism, the one thing we can be sure of is that there will be consequences.

Adam Frank, Science Denialism Has Consequences http://www.npr.org/blogs/13.7/2015/02/03/383501038/science-denialism-has-consequences

However, as I conclude, a thought strikes me: maybe it’s something else that’s supplying the dread? Maybe it’s not NPR’s fault. Maybe we feel bad because life is bleak, uncertain, and at best warrants a Frank Deford smirk. That is certainly a troubling thought, a depressing thought, one that if true, is too stark for me to face, at least while I’m stuck in my LA morning or afternoon commute.

And although I cannot answer that question, one thing is for certain: unless it’s de-funded in some future wave of Congressional backlash against public media, NPR will continue to have the final word in broad-spectrum news coverage. And it won’t be easy.

This is NPR News…

Mark C. Marino teaches writing at the University of Southern California. He is a long-time NPR listener and subscriber of KCRW, Santa Monica.