WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

As the desperate times call for desperate measures for all members of society (apart from residents of Bondi), plenty are coming to terms with a new reality.

One of those is Barnaby Joyce, who today has finally decided to lay low – until there’s an opportunity to fire up about shit like abortions or climate scepticism.

The former Deputy Prime Minister and aspiring future Deputy Prime Minister has revealed that it’s certainly been a tough few days.

Speaking to us via landline, the Member for New England said his getting pretty sick of having to adjust his lifestyle, but he’ll pipe down for now.

“Fair dinkum. We better not forget about the big issues when all this ‘rona shit blows over,” said the man who likes to front abortion protests on State-level legislative issues.

“And I tell ya what, I’m fucking bored outta my mind with all this virus bullshit.”

“Bring back the good old days where I could just go chasing soundbites instead of having to actually work to try and solve problems affecting everyday Australians.”

“But yes, I’m on my best behaviour for the next little while alright.”

“So leave me alone.”