“We have people saying, oh, if we just legalize everybody that is here, all of this new tax money will come flooding in,” Gohmert continued. “There can be no debate that young children who are not working, even if they are legalized, for those who make the argument, gee, look at all the tax money that the Federal coffers will be getting if we just legalize everybody here, that is a bogus argument.”

He added that children would continue to come to the U.S. as long as Homeland Security continued to provide “three hot meals, a bed to sleep,” and “if we can’t find your parents illegally in the United States, then we will find you some other parents, people are being drawn in.” “It is time to stop the luring of young children across the border by the activities of this administration,” Gohmert insisted.

I can't quite parse out what the man is going on about, since he's saying it so, um, stupidly, but he appears to be peeved that someone told him the 3-year-olds would be paying taxes and ah-ha, he's discovered that that isn't true. Or maybe he's saying that the young children should be working? Or—you know, this may be a lost cause. Gohmert speaks in a register that normal humans just can't hear.What the hell does Louie Gohmert think goes on? Come to the United States and get yourself some free parents—what? And he's mad that Homeland Security feeds the kids when it finds them? As opposed to ...?

I'm sorry, but America's Dumbest Congressman has broken me. It's not possible to even make fun of our esteemed representative anymore because it first requires at least being able to figure out what the holy chapped and blistered hell he is Going On About, and that task seems to get harder with every passing month. Never have we more needed a wingnut-to-English interpreter than we do when Louie Gohmert gets up to speak.

