Happy RWBY day everybody, let’s all have celebrate the way we all should: by sacrificing virgin goats to a higher power in the hopes we get Team CFVY this coming episode. Or Neo. We won’t complain about more Neo. But until then, it’s recap time! Chapter Six’s recap is a fortnight old on account of the gap week, and all the other recaps can be found aging gracefully at the Masterpost. As for Chapter Seven’s recap? Everyone drinks a little too much of the spiked punch, Cinder is one hot potato, and a certain reveal involving someone having seven sisters makes a part of me die inside. Intrigued? Click the Read More below to get jiggy wit’ it.

Seven down, five to go. Practically on the home stretch, it feels like. My oh my, time has flown while recapping ‘n stuff. Thanks to all for joining me on this wondrous steamboat ride through this strange tunnel of technicolour absurdity, where everyday dreams are made out of strange marshmallows and clouds of ambiguous hatred. Y'all rock more than rock lobsters. Have a fun read!

PREVIOUSLY ON RWBY :: Preparations for the dance were well underway, and yet nobody’s feeling all that excited because Blake’s not coming. Yang assures the group that she’ll make it, and goes as far as to lure Blake out of the library with a laser pointer. Meanwhile, Jaune ambushes a half-naked Ren and bares all to him. See, he’s more than a little actually in love with Weiss, it seems, and wants Schnarc to sail as much as Renora appears to be. After Nora and Ren deny said relationship, P-Money shows up to encourage Jaune one last time to be honest with Weiss, even though it kills her inside. Meanwhile once more, Yang manages to get Blake to sit down and listen to some delicious backstory: Yang and Ruby’s mother Summer Rose’s disappearance led Yang to learn of her biological mother’s existence, which then kicked off an investigation to find her. An encounter with Grimm led Yang and Ruby to meet their Uncle Qrow, but it also helped Yang realise what an ass she’d been. She relays this lesson to Blake, and it seems to work; Blake shows up to the dance with Sun, seemingly at peace. Meanwhile 3: Revenge Of The Sith, Jaune spots Weiss ask Neptune to the dance, prompting him to abandon his own plans. At the dance, Ruby and Ozpin chat about life 'n stuff, and ominous music kicks in as Merc and Emmy Rald show up…

And now, on RWBY:

Beacon’s basically-the-Yule-Ball is in full swing - and tango, a foxtrot, and I heard they might try a Macarena later - and everyone’s having a good time. Ironwood shows up to ask a beleaguered Glynda to dance, 'cause apparently he has a death wish.

In a darkened corner, Ruby does what we’ve all probably been guilty of doing at social occasions: hiding. If they wanted added realism, she’d totally be on her Scroll pretending to be texting somebody, but really just writing out song lyrics or something. Jaune, innately honed towards awkward people as one himself, slides up next to her.

The two clink their glasses together to celebrate their level of social grace. Our two esteemed team leaders, everybody.

When Jaune mentions losing out in taking Weiss to the dance to Neptune, Ruby points out that Weiss came alone. Totally called it last week when we didn’t hear Nep’s answer, btw.

Weiss’s apparent answer was that she had too much to focus on to care about men, but we’ll learn soon enough that’s not true. Well it probably is, but c'mon Neptune she made time in her schedule to focus on you, you useless pool noodle. Jeebus. And Neptune seems to be having a good time with Sun and Blake.

Jaune’s eyes narrow.

That’s Ironside by Quincy Jones, btw.

Actually true. I really do adore the friendship these two have, ever since their first interaction way back in Ep 2 last year. I kinda want them to have catch-up chats every episode now, although a working theory of mine is that they actually feed off one another’s dorkiness to between them create a superbeing of supreme dorkiness that could in fact solve many pressing world issues if left unchecked. And so the writers have to limit them. For the good of the plot. You’re welcome, world. Can’t wait 'til their Volume Three interaction scene! Lancaster shippers, I’m here and rooting for you. Stay strong.

Ruby decides to indulge in Jaune’s punch, which is probably her equivalent of eating popcorn as she watches the show of Jaune going through the crowd.

On a warpath, he is. Touching randoms. Nobody can stop him! Except, well, a sad Pyrrha Nikos.

A sad Pyrrha Nikos can in fact stop many things, such as nuclear missiles, tornadoes, and Rick Astley from making a comeback. Jaune heads out to the balcony to find her.

What is with these two and emotional night-time scenes in high-up places outside? If they don’t get married at night in a high-up place outside, then what’s even the point anymore?

But wouldn’t him planning to kill Neptune technically be a method of supervillainry… Nah, I guess it’s not really a supervillain’s style to just murder someone. They need to dangle them over one side of a bridge and dangle a bus full of school children on the other side an make the hero choose. Or slowly lower their victim into a vat of acid. They’re just all very polite, really. Drunk Jaune just wants to stabby stab stab. Okay. Back in reality, P-Money’s arrived late - but hey at least she showed up - and Jaune gives her a standard compliment. He then, of course, asks after her handsome date, and, of course, she has to let him know she came alone.

Nobody asked her. Because she’s her. To no one’s shock, Pyrrha’s been placed high on a pedestal (probably at night while outside), and as such, she can’t form any meaningful relationship with people. There’s no PSA that would’ve helped poor Pyrrha growing up like she had. Singularly unique and totally amazing, yet untouchable. And, heartbreakingly, the thing she liked most about Jaune when they first met is that he didn’t know who she was. And he was the gateway to her forging some great friendships. And finally, she wanted to be at the dance with someone who she valued like that, but he… was pre-occupied.

She leaves soon after, just as Jaune gets it.

And then along comes Neptune. Dis gun be good.

Here it is, the scene we’ve been waiting for all season. The scene where the characters played by series writers Miles and Kerry finally interact. The vocal sexual tension is palpable.

Jaune snaps at Neptune when he mentions the girls being cute, demanding to know if that’s all the king of the ocean can think about. Duh, I mean, mermaids. Jaune asks if Nep even cares about the girls he hits on - and yes, that was a deliberately written line and not some crazy hypocritical thing that Miles and Kerry didn’t realise. It’s pretty brilliantly teenage-y kinda thing overall - before finally getting down to brass tacks about Weiss.

As the blue man (without his group) splutters, Jaune rails into him. Weiss asked him, after all. She went out of her way and what, was Nep too cool for her attention? Was he actually some kind of crazy psychopath?! Jaune sure wanted to know.

Then it strikes. Like lightning. Grease lightning. Neptune can’t dance. That’s what this is about. He’s too busy looking cool and doesn’t want to not look cool. Again, teenage-y. Hell, adult-y.

It makes Jaune feel better to learn that even this cool guy had issues and insecurities. A double whammy after learning of Pyrrha’s too, I bet. Most of Jaune’s character arc has been about perceptions. Of coolness, of manliness, of not wanting to be the idiot stuck in a tree. It’s just been drilled into him that he has to be this one thing and he’s basically having to get over himself a little to become another. That doesn’t mean that what happens later on will erase every insecurity and make him a better him, but it’s a step forward. Even three steps forward followed by two back is still that one step forward. Slowly but surely…

Finally, J-Roll advises Nep to just give up the cool act for a bit, and go talk to Weiss. With no pick-up lines or suave moves - does Neptune have anything else, tho - and just the power of honesty. It’ll go far. Neptune takes the advice with grace and thanks Jaune for it. With a fistbump!

With the blue beetle flying off to drink his problems away, Jaune is left to sigh and think and pray. For he must now live up to his own words and a comment once said on a whim, and find a kickass dress that both suits and fits him.

Away he goes, where’ll he end up nobody knows. Back inside, Yang and Ruby overlook the dance crowd having a good time.

D'aww Penny. Yang, alone but content, ruminates on how they really needed this. For some reason, it totally made sense to me that Yang’d be sitting out of the festivities. Might even be stewing in old memories that she summoned from the mire to help Blake out.

Everything’s going well! Neptune’s talking with Weiss, Penny’s about to introduce the Robot to Remnant, and Nora/Ren and Blake/Sun are dancing up a mild tropical storm. And then comes the laughter.

The crowd parts, and Pyrrha turns to see Jaune in his glorious glory. And, as promised, he’s wearing a dress.

D'aww. That’ll be a story to tell the grandkids. Not Jaune and Pyrrha’s grandkids, but someone there’ll survive to tell their grandkids. As long as they don’t end the story with, “And then sometime later those two died horribly"…

Nora and Ren watch the proceedings as the music kicks in.

And it’s about to go down. Blame the punch. Nobody’s going full-on Beth Greene and is burning things, but they are having epic coordinated dance numbers.

Wow. Monty mocapped that, 'cause it’s Monty and legends of his dancing spread further than Ebola. Just today, he even posted a series of alternate dance scenes with combinations including Team EVIL, the teachers, and… well, just watch it! I certainly know what my first reaction was.

Pyrrha had no idea Jaune had such sick moves, or that the rest of her team did too. I mean damn, that’s just lucky. What if Nora or Ren had been failures at dancing? The stars aligned, man.

And they also aligned to reveal now that the reason Jaune’s got dem mad skillz? He grew up with seven sisters, of course!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT. Are you. Frelling. Kidding me. First we get the bomb dropped with Weiss having a sister, and that was traumatic enough to my fragile fanboy psyche. Not that it doesn’t make sense after thinking about it, for both Weiss and Jaune. It’s just that. I mean. Seven. Seven freakin’ sisters. Sevennnnnnnnn. Five plus two. Three plus four. Square root of forty-nine. Number of Voldemort’s Horcruxes. Bungie’s favourite number. And still, just, wow. More than anything, I’m kinda like, "This couldn’t be mentioned earlier?!” I was the same way with Weiss having a sister too, and now I’m just plain paranoid. Who else is going to spring sisters on us? Blake, P-Money, Nora and Ren. I’m looking at you four. No brothers either, dammit. No nothin’. Only children. Now.

Fair warning that I’m prolly gonna make jokes about people having sisters to the end of time (or just this recap). Not out of hate or anything, but because I was genuinely flabbergasted, both times. And 'cause it feels like the other characters don’t know? Like, I imagine Weiss having a sister would be news to Ruby. And Jaune having seven sounded like it was something he never mentioned to P-Money. These kids have known each other like six months and haven’t casually mentioned that at least once? Damn man. Oh god, do people even know Ruby and Yang are sisters? What if they never told anybody. Oh no, what are people assuming. Oh crap oh crap oh crap. Everyone needs to tell everyone if they have sisters on the first day. We don’t need any surprises.

And now I’m just so damn curious about sisters. Jaune’s sisters? All older or all younger? Are any of them Huntresses? I’m assuming not 'cause of Jaune having been Jaune-y this whole time about the family legacy thing. How do they treat him? Like one boy out of eight kids… Oh no. What if it’s not eight. What if Jaune also has brothers. No Matt no, don’t go down that path. There be dragons. Speaking of dragons, what if Yang’s mom had other kids and Yang has half-siblings out there. Oh man imagine the parallels if those half-siblings were dicks compared to how Ruby and Yang are. And what would Blake’s sisters be like. Like an older or younger Blake who’s still in the White Fang… I wouldn’t put it past these wiley writers. Also, Winter Schnee? WHAT IS HER DE -

No. Stop. Okay. I’m done. Back at the danc- I’m now imagining Nora hating her younger sister, who’s just trying to be more like her older sister - NO STOP IT. BACK AT THE DANCE, WEISS AND NEPTUNE HAVE A CHAT ABOUT WHY NEPTUNE CAME BACK.

Weiss learns that it was thanks to Jaune that she has a second shot with wielding that pool noodle in battle. Also d'aww. Weiss has now learnt that there’s a side of Jaune she could actually be okay with: the wingman. Though if this somehow loops back around and she gets a crush on Jaune later on while he’s busy with P-Money, I think members of this fandom will put my sister meltdown to shame. But anyways, the meat of the teenage character drama is now over, and it’s time for evil to occur. Merc and Emmy Rald are watching the proceedings from a balcony of evilness.

Hehe, Penny doing the robot and one of her guards dancing with her. Such a subtle little thing and yet might speak volumes. I love it. But anyways, Emerald notes that all the dancers have partners - where the hell did Yang go, anyway? Bathroom? Yeah okay bathroom - and she’s reporting this to a certain someone outside.

Cinder is told to be back by midnight, har har. We soon realise that Merc and Emmy’s assessment of the situation wasn’t flawless, as it turns out Ruby’s left the dance.

Get some fresh air, rest her thumbs from all the fake texts, et cetera. And then she spots that certain someone.

We find Cinder sneaking a bit later by a CCT building. Or, well, we’re assuming. It’s not Vale’s, but Beacon’s. I think. Or it’s just like a minor relay to the big CCT in the kingdom proper.

Either way, its’s guarded.

She then up and clocks the guy.

What even that face, dude. Must have a fetish for being knocked out from behind. I knew a guy like that once. Got severe brain trauma after the eighth knock out. No sisters, though.

Inside, Cinder’s got more guards to deal with. Like a boss. A sexy, sexy, boss that you can’t think of as sexy on account of the chain of command thing and really just a general respect for your superiors in a workplace, not to mention respect for all others in the workplace overall. Yes even the Janitor who sells weed out in the parking lot. He’s making more money than you thanks to that side business, so respect it.

Cindy Cind makes quick work of the guards. We see the guards walking around later, so they’re not dead as I’m joking here. But the point is that Cinder’s fighting style is brutal and quick. Very precise, very quick. She’s well-trained. Reminds me of watching Roman fight off Sun and Blake last year. Cinder’s overall kickassery makes her MVP for the week; it was just cool to get a bigger picture of her. She’s hands-on evil. Can’t hate that.

Worth noting is we get a glimpse at some of Cinder’s arsenal here. It may be what she always uses or may just be for this mission, but first off we glimpse two black blades that are made of pure Dust. Or something. She sewed Dust into that catsuit - ran out of material in the chest area, I see - and made all kinds of versatile and fire-y. Man, poor guards didn’t stand a chance. Hope there’s not mo -

-re. Whoops. These two are in the elevator, and one jabbers on about not knowing the Wi-Fi password. Just as his buddy gives it to him, the doors open.

Ruh roh.

Casual as a room full of college kids, Cinder strolls into the elevator.

Ding. Outside, Detective Ruby is on the case.

Eyes wide but not flinching, she calls up her weapon locker.

Won’t lie, kinda cheered. Had been waiting to see the weapon lockers make an appearance in the field ever since they got introduced back in Jaunedice last year. But damn Rubes, what is with you and damaging Beacon’s ground. With yet another crater. Tut tut. Back inside, Cinder’s busy at work.

She also nabbed a Scroll from one of the downed guards, so expect that to show up later. But for now, she’s doing something at the terminals. Something that involves a chess piece. A queen, even. What’s Blake got to do with it? Ha ha recap jokes. As Cinder does so, Merc and Emmy have a report for her.

Ironwood’s leaving the party. And what, they couldn’t also spot Ruby leaving? Pick up your game, evil people.

Rather curious, isn’t it. That he leaves to go to exactly where Cinder’s doing her thang. Did he get an alarm or something? Was it just a routine check? If it was the former I’d imagine he would’ve showed up with more guards. I get the feeling he was protecting some kind of asset, and that’s what Cinder was accessing. Or… Hmm. I’ll get into some of that with my predictions. Doesn’t quite matter, as Ruby beats Ironwood there.

She shows up as Cinder finishes up, the older woman hiding. I have to wonder if Cinder might not’ve known who Ruby was until then. Like, I can imagine her barely remembering the face of the little girl with the scythifle back in the first episode, and then seeing her at Beacon this season without putting two and two together. But now…

Something gets her to step out and confront Ruby. I mean, am I reaching or could she have just snuck out or gotten Ruby from behind? Or…

She unleashes ice crystals, which sets Ruby into defensive mode. They zip and pew pew pew around the place. Maybe Cind just wanted to have a bit more fun? Rubes puts up more of a fight than the guards. She makes Cind pull out the big guns. And by big guns I mean bow and arrow.

Yay archery! Finally! I was so ready for an archer character. Shame it’s probably just temporary and part of this outfit, but I’m cool with it. That one shot of Cinder with three arrows is enough to quench the thirst. And, as a bonus, it got folk recalling that Achilles was killed thanks to an arrow through his heel. Boy oh boy, isn’t Pyrrha basically our Achilles? And doesn’t Cinder already have her on her radar?

First person to draw fanart of Cinder with her precious potato wins the internet. My uncle owns the internet, so I can arrange it to be won by the aforementioned person. I have that power. I also can see, like, all the porn. Anyways. The fun ol’ fight comes to an abrupt end when the elevator doors go DING again.

Yep, Ironwood has shown up. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. The greatest trick Cinder ever pulled was just being crazy prepared. Makin’ Cinderella’s fairy godmother look like a back alley dice player in comparison. She junks it out of there and leaves Ruby to her fate, of looking like quite a fool.

Cinder’s escape involves shedding some Dust-y bracelets and transforming into a ballroom dress. Wow. Versatile. And hot. The guards chasing after her are unable to get her, but they do step on some glass as they do.

In the crowded ballroom, Merc and Emerald’s dance is cut short by Cind.

Again: hot. Emerald heads off to fill up on punch while Cinder and Mercury dance.

They catch up. Nothing went all that wrong with the plan. Cinder’s confident in not being caught.

The episode ends with a little montage of everyone relaxing as the night winds down. Jaune and Pyrrha, for example.

#BringBackTheOnesie2014. And also: Sun and Blake.

Adorable dancing, by the way. Neptune is too spotted showing off his skills, but it’s less adorable and more “the Safety Dance guys want to retract their song’s existence now”. And then to Ironwood and Ruby.

Maybe not as relaxed, those two. Dun dun dun. The clock chimes midnight, and the computer terminals flash once more…

So it ends. Both the episode and this mini-arc involving dance shenanigans. Good times.

Very character-oriented and solidly plotted trilogy, a pretty perfect middle-y arc. Sets up for what’s coming next. And what’s that? Well, Glynda dropped that the teams are off on missions the coming week. And the one thing we still haven’t seen from the trailers is Grimm in the city, and Team RWBY fighting them. So I’m imagining a mission to fight a small group that got into the outskirts of Vale or whatever, but then some complications. We’re told that the next episode break is after Chapter Ten, and if history repeats, Eight, Nine and Ten will be their own little arc. A mission arc that ties into craziness for the finale? Maybe. It would be something if it also involved RWBY going to back up Team CFVY, as that’d serve as a good intro to them. Not quite sure what Team RWBY’s character arcs would be, but yeah. And what of the Vytal Festival tournament? Is that a backdrop of this next arc, the final two episodes, or has it been pushed back to Volume Three? Because I can’t help but think that it’s probable that it has. Gives it room to breathe, maybe?

But it’s Cinder’s crazy plan that will take up the finale, I’m calling. In this episode she did… something. Planted a seed. Maybe it’s just a signal, that she’ll activate and her soldiers will rise throughout the kingdoms and do some crazy shiz. Or maybe given that Ironwood had his guards around the tower Cinder infiltrated, it’s something related to Ironwood’s new line of androids. Cinder’s organisation has a line in on Atlas/Schnee Corp if they’re getting Paladins before they’re released, so it might be that someone has given them the means to plant a virus in the system that will, when the androids come along to take on peacekeeping roles, make them flip to Cinder’s loyalty. It could be a long con going on. I can dig it. If Cinder makes them go full Skynet - oh god what if she ends up controlling Penny?! - and then revels in the chaos, that’d be fun. If the team manages to stop her just before, then that’s less fun, but I’m sure she’d eventually get around to winning one day.

Also, on a final note, I’m guessing that Pyrrha’s arc isn’t over. We’ve glimpsed her various intracies and everything with Jaune seems to be going great, yes, but she’s on Cinder’s list. And that makes her a target of something. She can’t have her insecurities manipulated until it makes her turn evil - probably - but she can still be taken down. While a part of all of us know deep down that RWBY’s chances of being the kind of show that’d go down spectacularly dark paths such as killing P-Money like right when everything’s going well for her (Bonus points: Jaune asks her out properly literally the morning of her death) are slim, still can’t help but wonder. And worry. And worrying makes us more attached to characters, so it’s a win-win every which way.

That’s all he wrote this week. Think it came together pretty well, in the end! Was touch and go for me in the process of making it, but hell, at least I had potato. While we wait for the newest installment, why not check out the following! There’s the always classic Roosterteeth forums (General discussion and the RWBY Vol. 2 thread), the RWBYForums, RWBY Wiki, the r/RWBY subreddit, the RWBY TVTropes page (And hey this recap even has a lil’ page of its own, which is awesome), and the main tumblr tag. Special shoutout to r/RWBY member GVMan for sharing the recaps with folk there. I might join up and say hey, so!

Welp. Until next week, avoid punch bowls. Not because of spiking, but because ehh, punch isn’t that great. And why do they call it punch, anyway? Does it pack itself? What if we started calling it kick instead? Or tackle? Or combo? Hmm, let’s stick with kick. We’ll start a revolution. Y'all know what to do.

Also, CFVY. Pls.