It's not entirely clear why the president held a rally in Florida Tuesday night. Maybe he considered it a homecoming now that he's fled the city of New York. Maybe he wanted to shore up his support in the state one year out from the 2020 election. Maybe he wasn't satisfied with the Very Normal Turkey Pardon he'd participated in that afternoon, and wanted to feel the warm glow of the TV lights on him once more before the day was done. Maybe he just wanted to wish everybody a Very Happy Thanksgiving. Or maybe he felt it was his duty to defend Thanksgiving itself from attack.

It's not quite the holiday season yet, except during television commercial breaks, so the War on Christmas has not yet begun in earnest. (Trump, it should be said, personally fought the War on Christmas in July.) Also, Donald Trump has now declared victory in the War on Christmas. But cultural resentment must always be stirred up. The angry division in our country must constantly be stoked. The only solution, then, is to find another war to fight: The War on Thanksgiving. Before you ask, it's definitely real, and LIBERALS! are responsible.



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Trump bizarrely claims some people "want to change the name ‘Thanksgiving.’" pic.twitter.com/Zbk5yHMpxI — TPM Livewire (@TPMLiveWire) November 27, 2019

It once seemed impossible to find a more intergalactically insane cultural struggle than the War on Christmas, a supposed effort by secular liberalism to erase from American life the most ubiquitous holiday in the history of civilization. (Their weapon in this unholy war is the phrase, "Happy Holidays," a group of events that includes Christmas—it's, like, the first holiday most folks think of—but is not only Christmas, and so is therefore trying to erase Christmas.) And yet here, the president just magics up some campaign to rename Thanksgiving—presumably to the People's Republic of Elizabeth Warren Day, or whatever—because he knows the crowd will boo, then cheer when he announces himself their champion.

Of course, none of this has anything to do with creating a siege mentality among white conservative Christians as part of a wider campaign to establish multiculturalism as a threat to The America You Know and Love. Happy Thanksgiving.

Jack Holmes Politics Editor Jack Holmes is the Politics Editor at Esquire, where he writes daily and edits the Politics Blog with Charles P Pierce.

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