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A SOUTH Dublin woman is undecided about what food to give her daughter with her ketchup today, after yesterday’s broccoli and mash failure which led to a 45 minute standoff at the kitchen table.

“Definitely nothing with green bits in it this time,” promised mother of three, Dorothy Hayes, rummaging through a series of vegetables in the bottom shelf of the fridge, “Carrots are red. The fussy little bitch won’t see the carrots with all the ketchup. Christ, these ones are withered. The cauliflower stinks too”.

For the past several months, 4-year-old Lara Hayes has become ‘ketchup dependant’, requesting at least four tablespoons of the sugar rich table sauce with every meal.

“She has ketchup with everything nowadays,” Dorothy explains, “with potatoes, pasta, ketchup in her school sandwiches; just about any food she can get away with. She even asked for ketchup with ice-cream last week when we were eating out at a restaurant. I think she has a problem”.

A recent survey has found that over 67% of Irish children have ketchup related addictions, with more and more under tens been admitted to ketchup rehab programs across the country every year.

“Four tablespoons of ketchup is the equivalent to 16 grams of sugar,” Dr. Tony Shields of the ketchup addiction centre in Leitrim explains, “That’s the same sugar content as a half can of coke.

“We’re currently inundated with ketchup addicts at the treatment centre at the moment. There is also a massive increase in ‘ketchup babies’, where they are already born with a ketchup addiction passed on from the mother”.

On top of its high sugar content, ketchup also contains high doses of salt and corn syrup, which are harmful to the body in high doses.

“We’re basically killing our children,” Dr. Shields added, “But on the other hand, it does shut them up and make them eat their dinners, so turning them into junkies is a small sacrifice to make”.