Last year in December, I had written How to debate the Citizenship Amendment Act (CAA) with liberal idiots. It is futile to debate anything with idiots, but they are fun to engage. So I’m back because ‘liberal’ idiots are back. These days they are busy washing away thook stains of Tablighi Jamaat.

A formidable force of idiots is out there, in WhatsApp groups or on your Twitter or Facebook timeline, indulging in a marathon of virtue signalling, teaching lesser souls why it is not good to blame the spread of Coronavirus on Tablighi Jamaat – a sect of Muslims that believes in living their lives in strict adherence to original Arab Islamic practices.

Obviously it doesn’t matter to them that not just India, Tablighi Jamaats have been identified as super spreaders in Pakistan and Malaysia too – both Islamic nations – because if it mattered, they would have been idiots, or liberals. But unfortunately they do exist around us, so this is how we should debate them:

Liberal Idiot: Tablighi Jamaat is not spreading the virus, their number is higher because government is tracing and testing them more often than other groups.

You: And why is government doing that genius? Did they randomly decide to catch hold of members of one organisation? Government had to test them because some of them were found positive and it happened when they were congregated at the same place in Nazimuddin, so obviously government will trace them more than others. Did the government not trace everyone who attended party by Kanika Kapoor after Kanika tested positive?

Liberal Idiot: Exactly bhakt! So are you accusing Kanika Kapoor of spreading virus? Then why this hatred reserved only for Tablighi Jamaat?

You: Actually yes, idiot, Kanika Kapoor was blamed by everyone. She was indeed accused of spreading the virus. People demanded that she should be jailed. And there is a police case against her. Problem with you idiots is that you don’t even know what you are talking about.

Liberal Idiot: But you guys did not say that Kanika Kapoor was doing this as part of some conspiracy. You did not accuse her of waging some war. But since it’s Muslims, you guys are using ‘Corona Jihad’ and what not!

You: I would have accused Kanika of conspiracy but I searched all her videos and nowhere she was talking about how her singing was the best and other people were inferior to her. She does not believe that only she will get heaven because she sings well and everyone else will burn in hellfire as they don’t buy her albums. I did not even come across any video where she claimed virus can be cured by singing ‘Baby Doll Main Sone Di’ 5 times a day. Neither are people blowing themselves up in the name of the said Baby Doll.

Liberal Idiot: You are not making any sense.

You: Hahaha.. don’t pretend to be so innocent, you know what I’m talking about. Point is, if you flaunt your belief, your beliefs will be questioned.

Liberal Idiot: Then why don’t you question beliefs of Hindus who had gathered at this <reads out a WhatsApp message shared by Bollywood idiot Swara Bhaskar> temple?

You: Read something else rather than crap shared by Swara Bhaskar and Anurag Kashyap. Did you find anyone supporting any such gathering? Some of such gatherings were in states that are ruled by your secular governments, like in Kerala and Maharashtra. Why don’t you ask those secular governments to aggressively trace and test everyone who attended any Hindu temple function? This way you can prove that such gatherings also spread virus and not just Tablighi Jamaat gathering. You keep shouting “test test test” so go and test those Hindus who attended any event that you claim. Go on and prove your claim. And mind you, when you trace these people and go to test them, they will not throw stones at police, they will not break head of doctor, and they will not spit at nurses.

Liberal Idiot: Those are all fake news. No Muslim is doing such things.

You: chup chu**ye.

Liberal Idiot: You bhakts can only abuse.

You: <provide proof of multiple mainstream media reports showing Muslims attacking policemen, health personnel, photo of seriously injured doctor, and many more such examples>

Liberal Idiot: Muslims can’t trust this Hindutva state. By making temple at Ayodhya, by making communal laws like CAA, by taking away special status of Kashmir, you have pushed Muslims into a corner and now they are not ready to believe if any government officer or team visits their area.

You: <show news reports about how Muslims are pelting stones at police and government teams even in Pakistan> you mean to say BJP is ruling in Pakistan too?

Liberal Idiot: So what is your point? Muslims are bad everywhere? This is nothing but Islamophobia.

You: And what is your point? That no Muslim can ever do anything wrong? Why are you always ready to whitewash their deeds?

Liberal Idiot: We never said anything like that.

You: Go back to where you started. And now get lost.