The man-child presidency

Donald Trump Reminds Me of Myself as a Child

Gore Vidal once mused that whenever he wanted to understand what the United States was up to he had only to look into his “own black heart.” Vidal was born a man of American nobility, and he spent his entire life trying to escape it, with some help from his silver tongue and erudite criticisms of the American empire. Looking back on this statement, I must admit that I can often more effectively understand Donald Trump when I look into my own black heart.

As a child, I was a compulsive liar. The lies were not typically major. They were often stated in an effort to make myself look more interesting or attention-worthy. I would lie that I had been to a foreign city or that I had done a particularly rebellious thing in my past. All of this was meant to establish my brand as an eccentric 8-year-old. I cannot help but see this same tendency in the current occupant of the White House.

This concept was particularly visible when I read Trump’s recent tweet claiming that he was supposed to be Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” but rejected the offer. Time has, as we all could have predicted, repudiated his claim. What was the point of this familiar outburst from the president? It was a lie meant to bolster his image and, at the same time, demonstrate his distaste for the media and the establishment. It was the ultimate humblebrag, but it was also completely false.

Trump claimed he achieved the “biggest electoral college win since Ronald Reagan” back in February, which was also plainly a lie, considering it wasn’t even the largest electoral college win since the previous election. Trump has bragged about inventing the terms “prime the pump” and “fake news.” Both assertions are obviously not true. And yet, I relate to the desire to make these kinds of statements, because they are exactly the kinds of untruths I would have uttered when I was a child. They are lies you can assume at least a few people will believe, and somehow that’s enough for the ego. I eventually decided to become an honest and more mature person, and it appears the president never made that leap.

Even after I gave up the habit of compulsive lying, some of the beliefs I held as a child and an early teenager reflect the ideals of Donald Trump. I became interested in politics at a young age, while becoming an anarchist punk, but I was predictably ignorant of many of the subjects I claimed to understand. I remember myself stating that the “climate has always changed” before I ever read a climate study. As a teenager in the pearly white state of Maine, I didn’t think systemic racism was that big of an issue anymore, despite evidence I was unaware of to the contrary. Lack of significant research was my folly, and I think we can all agree Trump is guilty of the same. My opinions were based on gut feelings, much like the president’s.

In July I wrote a piece for Paste Magazine about how Donald Trump exhibits the studied characteristics of a young child after reports came out that Trump had asked Paul Manafort if he thought he was “a fucking baby” at the end of 2016. He asked this because Manafort reportedly said he would do TV interviews to get Trump’s attention. In my piece, I found Trump’s self-obsession, his tantrums and his impulsiveness were some of the traits that did match those of a baby.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that many of his attributes mirror what I was like as a child. During Thanksgiving my siblings recounted how I used to cause trouble at a young age and then fake cry to avoid punishment. I played victim after victimizing. This trick is something we’ve seen pulled in the White House on a regular basis for the past 10 months. The behavior of a man who is decades older than me reminds me of parts of my childhood. Perhaps you can find a baby Trump in yourself if you dig deep enough, but I don’t recommend it.

We are truly living in the era of the man-child president, and unfortunately for us, there seem to be few adults in the room who are willing to discipline this juvenile delinquent. If my own experience growing up is any marker, he should be better developed within a decade or so. Until then, we can all look forward to the next hysterical Twitter rant.