You know what we need in the White House? A bitch.

We need a bitch facing down terrorists, Iran and Congress. A bitch to order around the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Come to think of it, there’s a bitch right now trying to save Pakistan. Golda Meir, Queen Elizabeth, Margaret Thatcher – all great leaders. All bitches.

It’s unlikely, of course, that the voter who asked John McCain “how we going to beat the bitch?” this week in South Carolina considered this. She meant it as an insult, and McCain, stupidly or ignorantly, called it a good question. When asked about it, Sen. Trent Lott, classy guy that he is, said, “the witch?”

My advice for Hillary Clinton? Take it as a compliment. I’m a bitch and proud – a Babe In Total Control of Herself.

The reality is that every woman who has ambition, business acumen and an independent way of thinking – the very qualities we admire in men – has been called a bitch.

It’s sad the word needs to be used at all, considering how insulting it is. A female dog. When you actually think about what the term means, what it implies, it’s amazing how much it’s slipped into regular conversation. Rappers toss it off in lyrics; Britney introduces herself on her new album with the term; they don’t even bother bleeping it out on television. Despite what Isiah Thomas said in his sex harassment deposition, no one – black or white – should be able to say it.

That a woman would be the one to ask the question of McCain shows how robbed of import “bitch” has become, otherwise she would have realized how the term could boomerang. If the voter can call Clinton a bitch, it’s license for others to do the same to her.

If we can’t stamp it out, then we must embrace it. Ten years ago, Meredith Brooks had a hit singing “I’m a bitch,” and since then, smart women have known that a man who calls them a bitch is only demonstrating his own inadequacies.

Case in point: Hillary herself, who wisely said nothing during the McCain debacle. In proper form, she subscribed to the Hollywood axiom, “No audience, no show.” She’s nobody’s poodle.

But if I may, let me offer some more advice to Clinton – a little etiquette for bitches, if you will:

n Remember that each time you are called a bitch on the campaign trail, you are helping women across America. As long as they are calling you a bitch, it means that some other poor woman is getting a break from being called one.

n Lead with compassion for your male counterparts. Many still suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder and night sweats, even though it’s been decades since the feminist movement.

n Never let them get under your skin. And if they do, never give them the satisfaction of knowing it.

n Wear skirts often. It’ll flummox them even more.

And one final word from the trenches. Being a woman who is running for office is sometimes threatening to those who aren’t used to seeing women be productive outside the kitchen and the laundry room. The good news is, they’ll adjust. Ain’t that a bitch?

Sherry Argov is the author of “Why Men Marry Bitches.”