Okay, mofos! The time has finally come. I have completed all 30 squares, and the moment of truth has arrived. The experiment shall begin!

Cat tax!

So as explained in the build up to this monumentally stupid waste of time, I have taken extraordinary care to make sure that all 30 of my squares are the same size with the same stitch count along all edges. I’m using five different squares here in an effort to see how the experiment works on both open work and solid squares (plus it helped prevent the boredom. No matter what, never be boring. I’ve been told that on multiple occasions in multiple different contexts. Actually, the phrase was “Try not to be boring.” I’m starting to think it’s personal.)

Before anyone asks, I will be making charts for all of these altered squares and will upload them once they’re done. Someday. Eventually.

Anywho, so I have made sure that my squares lay flat on their own and they will continue to do so after they have been joined, blocked or unblocked. That is rule number one. Blocking does not and will not correct a motif that doesn’t lay flat on its own. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating.

I have the great fortune to have a jack of all trades for a husband. Not only is he a computer programmer (thanks for helping me set up my blog, love!), but he’s also a mechanic, (thanks for replacing my brakes, love!), a construction worker (seriously, he’s right now making window sills for our house. From scratch. Right now as I type this that’s what he’s doing. On a Sunday.), a musician, a father, and a business owner, and a thousand other things besides. Dude even repaired my piano once. The pedal was clicking. It doesn’t anymore.

But the point of that whole litany of praise is that one of his businesses is a custom cabinet shop. And one of the perks of that (aside from access to a dumpster) is that when I asked for a blocking board, he went and friggin made me one in about 10 minutes. From scraps. On a Saturday.

And here it is. I purchased the dowel rod from Wally World for exactly 27 cents plus tax, and Bob’s your uncle. A blocking board.

Thanks, I hate it.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s exactly right. It’s just what I asked for. If I had my druthers, I think it could use twice as many holes to allow more options as to size, but I’m probably going to toss it as soon as this experiment is over anyway so why bother?

People love these things. I don’t get it. Sure, it was easier to slide my squares onto it than it would be to pin each one individually with straight pins, but it was still a pain and I’m still not convinced it’s necessary. Each and every square had to be adjusted one at a time to actually achieve a straight edge. And even then I’m not super confident in my success in that quarter.

You’ll notice that I could have stretched them further, but I deliberately chose not to do that. There’s two reasons. Firstly, it made it literally impossible to achieve a straight edge. Stretching the motif too far forces the angles out of square and directly into acute. That is no bueno.

too stretched

just right

The second reason is, blocking is not intended to change an object’s size or shape. Ever. It is simply a method for making an object look neat. We do it because we can’t iron crochet. The End. So you never, ever, ever want to stretch the shit out of your piece. It makes it took bad. You may think at first glance that it looks better, but take a closer look. The stitches have been distorted and pulled apart. This is not a good look.

And a sneaky third reason is that stretching it this far wouldn’t last after handling and washing anyway. I hope to prove this in future steps of the experiment.

Okay this post has kind of gotten away from me. For a few specifics, I have only blocked half of my squares. The other half, as outlined before, will remain unblocked as a control. Usually when blocking blankets, I just use water. This time, in an effort to go the extra mile in good faith, I brought out the big guns: laundry starch. I followed the instructions for diluting it as printed on the label. (6 cups of water to 1 cup of starch).

I gave the squares a dunking to make sure they were fully saturated, then gave them a good squeeze to remove the excess. After that, I stacked the damp squares on my blocking board. It took me about 20 minutes from start to finish.

Anyone want to take bets on how long it takes this god forsaken stack to dry?

