ABC’s decision to dismiss Stana Katic from Castle only to turn around and cancel the series altogether was more than just a colossal PR fiasco. It marked an ugly end to the procedural’s eight-year run, forever staining the show’s legacy. Now, for the first time, Katic is addressing the 2016 incident in the current issue of Entertainment Weekly.

“I’m actually still not clear on the thought process behind the way that it went down,” the actress tells the mag. “It hurt and it was a harsh ending.”

However, Katic — whose 10-episode psychological thriller Absentia makes its Amazon debut on Feb. 2 — has since made peace with the circumstances surrounding Castle‘s conclusion and is now choosing to focus on the positive. “I met so many beautiful people [on the show], and we collaborated on something really unique,” she shares. “It would be a disservice to those people, to the work that we did together, and to my work, which I feel contributed, in part, to the success of the show, to be anything but grateful.

“It was a formative experience,” she continues, “and we told a love story that I feel moved people, touched people, and I can’t be anything but glad that I was a part of something like that. I hope it remains something special in viewers’ minds forever.”