Imagine working with a sociopath. Knowing that no matter how much you aspire to live to the credo of “doing unto others,” your counterpart will always put their needs above yours. Netting it out: if you are willing to give, they are willing to take. If this was your reality and your accommodating nature led you to enable such behavior versus setting hard boundaries, then you are practicing idiot compassion.

Similarly, imagine encountering a drug addict on the street who is homeless and sickly looking. They approach you and ask for money so they can buy some food. You feel for their suffering so you give them a couple of bucks. You are practicing idiot compassion.

What is idiot compassion? It is a Buddhist axiom that describes self-deluding behaviors in the guise of sympathy/empathy that manifest in the destruction of yourself or others.

Idiot compassion results from failing to heed the essentialness of self-preservation when confronted by societal dangers (ignorance). Or, from seeing such dangers as the ultimate test of faith (martyrdom). Or, confusing empathy with enablement.

In terms of avoiding the path of idiot compassion, this is an area where I have moral clarity but I have certainly encountered my share of conflict-avoidant types that have let themselves be snookered into such behaviors.

But recently, through my career coach (think: professional shrink), I came to realize that I was practicing idiot humility. What is idiot humility? My definition for it is an inability to allow oneself to aspire to greatness, to set and maintain an expectation of breakout success, or just generally see oneself as deserving of living their life’s dreams.

This sounds very obvious; that it should be natural for all people to swing for the fences of life, to expect that they will hit the winning shot or to see themselves as worthy of all the breaks.

But, the funny thing in my case was that because I understand how much luck is involved, how thin the line is between success and failure and how important it is to appreciate your lot in life, to enjoy it and have fun, to savor now versus dwelling on tomorrow that I held myself back in the name of humility.

What I have since realized is something that I had always preached but only now fully practice. Namely, that we have a limited time on the planet and as such, must “own” in the pragmatic sense the path that drives us forward in life. That having defined such structure to our existence, gravity is destined to become our friend versus an enemy that must be fought, ignored or minimally, avoided making eye contact with.

I am compassionate and practice humility but I am an idiot no more.