Reckless snacking is a given when you're watching the Super Bowl. So why not embrace your gluttony and build a snack stadium?

I've been gawking at snack stadiums for months. Sunday's Super Bowl provides the sports-related excuse to finally make one.

The stadium in This is Why You're Fat: Where Dreams Become Heart Attacks serves as the template (except for the part where you need a drill to hold things together).

You can blame the stadium at www.holytaco.com for the addition of Twinkies.

The sponge cake is sticky and works beautifully propping up cracker walls to keep the "fans" off the "field." Yes, I know it's controversial to mix sweet with salty and savoury.

The guys at J&D's (creators of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise) made their stadium a "shrine to baconey snack food gluttony" using their products as well as Tater Tots, mozzarella sticks, chicken sticks and pizza rolls. I could only sink as low as mini pogos.

To figure out the players, I had to research the teams. (Not a sports fan.) The New Orleans Saints wear gold-and-black helmets, so they got black olive helmets and spicy sausage bodies as a tribute to the Big Easy. For the Indianapolis Colts' white helmets we used white cheese balls and mainstream sausage (pepperoni) bodies.

The hardest part of stadium-building was grocery shopping. I bought way too much and went to four grocery stores to find Bugles. (Who knew they had become rare?) The easiest part was having Toronto Star designer Jo-Ann Dodds weave her artistic magic on the stadium.

It took about 90 minutes to build the stadium (plus more than seven hours to research, design, grocery shop, cook and assemble).

We've got the football (it's a green olive) but no blimp. You can hang one (made from sausage?) from your ceiling, if you must.

Eat with reckless abandon. You don't want to have to clean this thing up.

jbain@thestar.ca

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