4 Lessons the COVID-19 Pandemic Teaches Us About Being Human

Coronavirus unearths our caring, yet selfish, optimistic, yet control-graving selves.

Photo by Portuguese Gravity on Unsplash

We’re never been more informed, more involved in, and more affected by a pandemic than this one. Covid-19 has put life on hold for many of us. Time to reflect on our own behavior amidst the pandemic. Here are four truths about ourselves and what we can learn from them.

We care about others

Many of us try to adhere to protocols of what to do to not infect others. We cough and sneeze into our elbows. I’ve heard from many people they are self-isolating so as to not infect anyone. People are worried that they might have the virus and transmit it to others they don’t even know.

There are several factors that might play a role in going into self-isolation.

Authorities have asked people to self-isolate if they have traveled to certain regions or experience symptoms. Respect for authorities is certainly a reason for self-isolating. Then there is the potential for embarrassment, shame or even guilt. No one wants to be identified as the one who infected others. No one wants to be the one who brought a virus that killed an elderly person or one with underlying conditions. An then there is a genuine ethical concern. We believe it’s wrong to harm someone by infecting them with the virus if we could have prevented it. So if we have some indication we might have Covid-19, we can prevent infecting someone by self-isolating.

Self-Isolation might be necessary. Photo by Ümit Bulut on Unsplash

I suspect all three aspects play some role in most people’s self-isolating (or coughing correctly).

But for the desired outcome it doesn’t matter what ultimately motivates people to take the measures experts recommend.

Do it because you’ve been told to do so, because you fear shame, or because you believe it’s the morally right thing to do. If self-isolation and coughing in your sleeve make a positive difference, any justification will do.

We care about our families more than others

We’ve all seen the pictures and videos of empty shelves in supermarkets, the yawning blank where there should be dried pasta, tomato sauce, canned peas, disinfectant wipes, and toilet paper.

People hoard. And most people hoard without an ethically sustainable plan.

Toilet paper — A symbol for the Covid-19 Panic. Photo by Claire Mueller on Unsplash

It’s good to have stuff at home to cover you and your loved ones for 14 days. That’s how long self-isolation should last if you suspect you or someone living with you has the coronavirus. Since self-isolation is the morally right thing to do if you think the virus has arrived in your house and since you will need some essentials to survive the self-chosen house arrest, stocking it actually quite moral.

But stocking is not hoarding.

Hoarding is buying beyond reasonable needs and leaving others vulnerable. The worst: Hoarders make others vulnerable.

Hoarders create a shortage of some products that others need to go without, at least for some time. And if the hoarded items are essentials, then others are in serious danger. Or at least are seriously inconvenienced. No one wants to have to wipe their butt with paper coffee filters (buy them quickly, hoarder! Go!).

Now, suppose one of these people, the poor suckers who were too late to stock up on some dried pasta and tomato sauce, contract the virus. Can they self-isolate? Difficult, right? Fresh food might be available at their supermarket, but it doesn’t keep for two weeks. Maybe they cannot afford to order food or they don’t know people who would do the grocery shopping for them. So what else can they do but go to the supermarket themselves?

Hoarding is unethical, even if it is psychologically understandable.

Stock up so at any point you have enough food and toiletries for the next two weeks. Go beyond that and you are becoming part of a problem.

We are optimists

It’s a great time for optimists and pessimists alike. Photo by Dayne Topkin on Unsplash

Most people I talk to tell me something along the lines of “it’s no worse than the flu” or “if it happens, it happens”. Unless you are old, have an underlying condition, or are in close contact with someone who’s old or has underlying conditions, this is probably a reasonable attitude.

Just to be clear, Coronavirus is worse than the flu. We are not immune against it, experts don’t know very much about the virus yet, and more people who contract the virus die from Covid-19 than people who contract the flu. But most people will experience mild or moderate symptoms and recover.

In that sense, it’s like the flu.

The laissez-faire attitude is probably helpful when it comes to the possibility of contracting the virus ourselves. If you are not part of a vulnerable group, you’ll unlikely die from it. But this attitude is not warranted when it comes to potentially infecting others.

It’s ok to shrug off the threat with an “if it happens to me, it happens to me”. It’s not ok to shrug it off with an “if it happens to me, it happens to you”.

So, be an optimist about your chances of easily combating the virus.

Be a pessimist about two other things:

how easy it is to contract the virus (including how easy it is for you to contract it) and how quickly it spreads. how likely it is that older people or people with underlying conditions will be severely harmed or even die from the virus.

To be a pessimist about these two points should lead you to protect others by rigidly following protocol, even if you don’t think you are carrying the virus. So you don’t infect anyone — just in case you do carry it.

We crave control

We don’t have a vaccination against or an antidote to Covid-19 yet. We hear experts reply “we don’t know yet” to many questions we have about the virus. It’s scary.

We like control. Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

We crave a sense of control amidst this new pandemic. So we try to rigidly implement the few recommendations experts can make. We move away from that woman who just coughed once on the bus or if we cannot move away, we are at least trying our best killing her with looks. Threats to our perceived sense of control are everywhere these Coronavirus-days.

We are at the risk of losing an important feeling: that we are living self-directed lives.

We can’t buy the dried pasta we usually buy from our local supermarket. Our children’s schools are closed. We can’t study for our degree or work towards our goals. We have to cancel our travel plans, or worse, our travel plans have been canceled for us. Life has been put on hold — for some more than for others, but everyone is affected to some degree.

Most people are planners. This is how we orient ourselves in life. From Tuesday dinner with our friends to Friday morning’s presentation at work. From a statistics exam in three weeks’ time to a holiday in Greece next month. From the final stage of a project to getting married a few months later. Goals and plans are milestones in our lives.

So what happens when we have to suspend our plans and goals indefinitely? We panic.

We hoard, we withdraw, we dissolve our bonds and cash in on our savings. We suffer from previously unknown levels of anxiety. We develop depression. We don’t know what living means if it doesn’t mean leaping from appointment to appointment, from plan to plan, from goal to goal.

A terrific way to re-establish a sense of control, a sense of moving forward, is to focus on values instead of goals.

Photo by Vlad Bagacian on Unsplash

Values are directions in life, rather than destinations in life. Being a loving husband, a caring pet guardian, a supportive community member are all values. And so are continuous learning, enjoying beauty, having financial stability, being creative.

Continuous learning is a value, not a goal because it’s not a final destination — you can spend your whole life learning. Being a loving husband is a value you can live by; you’re not done because you made your partner breakfast.

If you are suffering under the loss of control the Coronavirus outbreak inevitably brings with it, remind yourself of your values. And once you have a clearer picture of them, redefine your short-, and medium-term goals in light of the pandemic. Even if your goals have to adapt to the pandemic times, your values don’t have to change.