Over and over grandparents have whispered to me, “Don’t use our name, but we bought their house” or “We pay their rent.” I know a couple who moved out of their rent-stabilized apartment so that their daughter and new baby could move in. In our case, we help pay for preschool and the nanny. When our first grandchild was born, we even turned a room in our apartment into a nursery, hoping that if we provided all the comforts of home, our daughter and son-in-law would visit often. We bought a crib, bedding, diapers, bottles and — I couldn’t help myself — a sweet bassinet that alone cost us a crazy $500. When it arrived, we had to put the darn thing together ourselves, with that insufferable Allen wrench.

This is such a trend that there are now grandma showers. Really. So we can stock up on baby monitors and sippy cups. Brides get Cuisinarts; we get the Snotsucker.

One reason we pioneers have become the family piggy bank is a generational inversion: It used to be that the middle-aged took care of their elderly parents; more and more it’s the other way round. Today most 60- and 70-year-olds have more money than 40- and 50-year-olds. Grandparents get their monthly Social Security checks; many have paid off their mortgage; and large numbers remain on the job, earning money. Almost a third of women aged 65 to 69 still work, while 18 percent of those 70 to 74 do. Some grandmas put off retiring specifically to help support the grandkids.

Many of us want a second chance. As working mothers, we carried around bales of guilt because we felt (or were made to feel) we weren’t there enough for our kids. We know what we missed out on, so we’re making up for it by pouring not just money but also time into our grandchildren. My daughter likes to remind me how much I loathed taking her to the park. As a workaholic reporter in Washington covering the White House, I would push her on a swing and read a research paper at the same time. Today I love taking my granddaughters to the park, playing tea party, sitting on the floor with them coloring. My attention is all theirs.

Most of the grandparents I know are like me: We’ll do anything to hold those babies. We’re the babysitters who beg to come over, an offer that’s hard to refuse since we don’t charge a dime.