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I owe my life to a ransom, one paid not by the government, but by private donations made by many caring people, to whom I will forever be grateful. I am not comfortable with the fact that those who abducted me profited from it. I wonder, what did they spend it on? And I can’t bear to imagine where the money has gone.

My fate could easily have been the same as Ridsdel’s

My fate could easily have been the same as Ridsdel’s. In hostage situations, the pressure on both sides — at home and in captivity — is immense. Kidnappers know this. They understand how to manipulate a family and its home government by making their captives suffer and by sharing that suffering in phone calls, photos or videos. But for the government to pay a ransom, as Trudeau pointed out, is to lose a larger battle.

The Harper government told my family from the start that it couldn’t, and wouldn’t, negotiate a ransom deal with my captors. But it did say many times that it had a great track record of bringing hostages home safely, without payment.

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My mother, Lorinda Stewart, put her faith in this. She was working a low-wage job at a bakery when I was abducted, and ended up acting as the primary negotiator for me, recording calls from the kidnappers’ communication leader, a man I knew as Adam. His calls came in almost daily. The RCMP sent trained negotiators to live with her, day and night. They helped her through many months of agony and helplessness. She was told there were intelligence agents working to secure my release.

But ultimately, the government could not free me. Only money would get me out. Even the government appeared to recognize its limitations. About 10 months after I had been kidnapped, my mother was told to “look at other options.”