If you’re anything like me, you know the following scenario all too well:

It’s been an exhausting day. You’re tired, overwhelmed and probably more than a little irritable. You know you should probably wash the sweat of your face and go to bed, but your mind is still abuzz from the day’s tribulations and mini-injustices.

If you could just calm down, you’d feel better.

So, to soothe yourself, you decide to indulge in a cookie from the packet you picked up from the supermarket (this week would be different, you thought, assuring yourself that future-you would be much more capable of fighting of any urge to binge). What’s the harm in a single cookie?

You DESERVE this cookie after picking up that extra shift at work. You DESERVE this cookie for not losing your cool with your mother-in-law.

One bite, and your neurons explode in pleasure (In fact, if scientists scanned your brain at this pivotal moment, they would probably confuse the image with an aerial shot of the Fourth of July).

This cookie was immensely satisfying, so much so that you consider closing the packet and heading upstairs to bed.

But guilt creeps in and suddenly, a deluge of thoughts:

Well, I’ve already had this one, I might as well…

I screwed it up. Better take advantage before I have to give it all up tomorrow…

I can’t even resist one cookie. How can I resist this entire packet?

There is a small moment of silence before you buckle. FUCK IT! you think as you angrily begin to shovel fistfuls of chocolate chips into your mouth.

The Fuck-it Binge Mentality

What do flat tires have to do with binge eating?

In the past, when I’ve Googled ways to stop sabotaging myself by binging after eating one “unhealthy thing,” I stumbled across the following idea on more than one occasion:

“Binging because you felt bad about eating one cookie is like popping the remaining three tires when you’re upset that you have a flat.”

This never resonated with me. After all, the function of a car is to DRIVE, to propel itself forward. Even with a single flat tire, the car cannot function, so it essentially does not matter if there is a single flat tire, or four.

Of course deciding to pop the remaining three tires will increase the amount of time it takes to recover from the incident (15 minutes versus an hour or so), but I could always understand WHY someone would act this way. Maybe the release of frustration that followed popping the tires seemed worth the extra time it would take to repair the car.

When I applied this analogy to my own binge eating experience, I felt the same way. I TOTALLY understand why someone would eat a bag of cookies after attempting to eat just one. In fact, it doesn’t even seem THAT unreasonable to me.

That’s when I realized I was looking at the issue backwards. I was treating my symptoms (bingeing after eating something “unhealthy”) as the problem instead of addressing the cause: my rigid thoughts and food rules.

It’s not about the binge, it’s about your thoughts



The reason the aforementioned person pops their tire is because they’re frustrated by the failure of the PERCEIVED function of the car (moving, driving, taking them somewhere, etc.).

Let’s imagine, however, that another person perceives the function of their car as a place for them to live (they just lost their house, and have no money for gas, therefore driving is not relevant). Would this person sabotage their tires in frustration if ONE single tire became flat? Or would stress-relief be a none-issue for them, as the purpose of the car remains exactly the same as before? This individual may not be so upset about a flat tire, and probably wouldn’t consider popping the other three in despair.

What does this tell you?

Self-sabotaging yourself by bingeing is CAUSED BY WHAT YOU BELIEVE THE “GOAL” OF YOUR EATING TO BE. It is sparked by your thoughts.

Rigid food rules lead to self-sabotaging binges

In order to stop, you need to figure out what your hidden food rules are. You need to ask yourself what you believe to be “ruined” when you eat one cookie, and why you then feel compelled to eat the whole bag.

If you believe the GOAL of your diet/recovery is to eat healthy or clean or low-carb or paleo 100% of the time, then yes, essentially it does not mater if you had ONE cookie or TEN since the goal collapsed the moment you took that first bite.

From this perspective, IT MAKES SENSE to eat as many as possible and start fresh tomorrow.

But this type of black-and-white thinking leaves little room for progress or life, and is largely unsustainable. No one eats perfectly 100% of the time, and you need to allow flexibility in your life if you ever want to have a more neutral relationship with food.

How to embrace junk food without bingeing



First, compile a list of your food “rules/goals” that may lead you to self-sabotage. Here were/are some of mine:

I must eat healthy 100% of the time. I cannot have more than one serving of carbs a day. I can NEVER drink my calories. If I’m going out to eat, that’s the only meal I can have for the day.

Find a way to alter these rules so that they allow more flexibility and spontaneity in your life.

I will nourish my body with healthy foods as much as possible, but I am allowed to eat cookies whenever I feel like it. Nothing is off-limits, and I can eat what I enjoy throughout the day. I aim to stay hydrated with water and tea, but I can always enjoy a Snapple or other drink if I want to. Eating out is not an excuse to skip meals. I will care for myself no matter what.

By changing your perceptions, boundaries between “good” and “bad” eating become much more forgiving and fluid.

If you take baby steps, eating a bite of a cookie will no longer feel like a game-changer.