The Megabus has become a modern institution in the UK. For anyone with more time than money their buses criss cross the country transporting passengers at remarkably low cost but with unprecedented discomfort and duration. It would also make an exceedingly easy if unglamorous target for any junior terrorist. Trouble is, blowing up a Megabus would carry about as much kudos as kidnapping Leo Sayer. Furthermore should they fail it would make the terrorist less of martyre than a world famous laughing stock, perhaps only on par with that dedicated incompetante who set himself on fire and drove into Glasgow airport (killing no one except himself ). Besides, who would want to be known as “The Megabus Bomber”?

Nonetheless, Megabus take the terrorist threat extremely seriously. Recently it was reported a man on board was noticed to be emitting a smoke of some kind. Before you could say “Maybe we should ask him or at least take a look before we call the police the anti-terrorist squad, stop the bus and close the motorway” The driver had stopped the bus, called the police and the anti terrorist squad had closed the motorway. The driver no doubt well drilled, took no chances and herded the passengers off the bus and onto the layby where they were “made to wait cross legged” for 4 hours. They eventually set off on their journey again only once the police had confirmed that it was not a bomb but an electronic cigarette and the smoke was in fact just water vapour.

The moustached officer in charge of the operation later deadpanned “Following an initial assessment, we can confirm that no-one has been injured and that there is no danger to passengers at the scene or any other travellers” helpfully assuring reporters that “We are also not treating anyone as a suspect.” The megabus driver was sadly unavailable for comment.