It started with a cheery toast,

Chin chins and upraised tinctures

Then May turned up, dressed to the nines

Which tightened several sphincters

Hunt looked quite at ease tho,

Gave a supercilious grin

At the sound of floor connecting

With Theresa Villier’s chin

Gove slipped out the back door

Osborne called a cab

Nicky Morgan got a heartfelt, moving

Sext from Stephen Crabb

The starter got a mixed response

Strange tasting, not much fat

Dave sighed, all misty-eyed, and said

‘I’m gonna miss that fucking Cat’

There were fine wines and a suckling pig

With an apple in it’s gob

Which the head chef had inserted

To head off David’s knob

Boris couldn’t make it

He was on a foreign jolly

In his place they put a mop-head

With a sign on: ‘I’M A WALLY’

With jibes at Turkey, Canada,

Russia, Germany and France

His official job description,is now

Minister for Bantz

Leadsom, sloshed, was overheard

”Of course, she never could have babies”

From a splendid giant Brexit Cake

Leaped out a naked David Davis

Then someone found old Gideon’s stash

He’d left behind in haste

So they stuck it in the punch bowl

For everyone to taste

There was a rowdy drinking contest

Leavers V Remain

A disorderliness ensued then, that

Bercow himself, could not contain

Liam Fox in just his socks

Nay Nay’d to the Wu Tang Clan

Priti Patel: ” Let’s play a party game,

My favourite one’s Hangman!

Amber Rudd, she went on twitter

Took a selfie in the loo

Wrote ‘Methinks I’m on the shitter’

And hash-tagged it #DavidsDo

Backs were stabbed, secrets blabbed

And poor old Justine Greening

Got called a northern monkey

In a manner, quite demeaning

Laura Kuenssberg was there too, of course

Due to her undivided loyalty

Of treating every Tory like

A member of the royalty

And then towards the evening’s end

When they were on the stinky cheese

Up rocked one hundred and seventy-two

Rebel Labour MPs

They all told Jeremy Corbyn gags

Chuckled about the coup

And no one mentioned austerity

At David’s leaving do.