I personally only judge people based on one factor: what house I think they would be sorted into at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As a Ravenclaw, I think that this is a very practical and logical way to assess people and it is the only way on which I base my decisions and personal opinions. Since this is just what I do, I applied this worldview to Donald Trump’s cabinet picks to form my own opinion about them.

Rex Tillerson (Department of State): Slytherin

Steve Mnuchin (Department of the Treasury): Slytherin

James Mattis (Department of Defense): Hufflepuff

Jeff Sessions (Department of Justice): Slytherin

John Kelly (Department of Homeland Security): Slytherin

Tom Price (Department of Health and Human Services): Slytherin

Ben Carson (Department of Housing and Urban Development): Hufflepuff

Rick Perry (Department of Energy): Slytherin

Andrew Puzder (Department of Labor): Slytherin

Elaine Chao (Department of Transportation): Hufflepuff

Betsey DeVos (Department of Education): Slytherin

Ryan Zinke (Department of the Interior): Slytherin

Wilbur Ross (Department of Commerce): Slytherin

Sonny Perdue (Department of Agriculture): Hufflepuff

David Shulkin (Department of Veteran Affairs): Hufflepuff

…I think we might be in trouble, guys.