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Not All Women are Maternal

Panel 1

[Image] A girl with short brown hair kneeling on the floor and playing with a doll.

[Caption] By age 10, I already knew I didn’t want children.

Panel 2

[Image] Two women facing the reader. One is kneeling, and one is bending over. Both are smiling.

[Caption] Adults laughed and didn’t believe me. I never changed my mind.

Woman 1: Aw

Woman 2: You’ll change your mind!

Panel 3

[Caption] When I began having sex, I took every precaution to prevent a pregnancy.

Panel 4

[Image] The girl, now grown up, holding a baby and looking unhappy.

[Caption] Nonetheless, I became pregnant and I had a daughter.

Panel 5

[Image] A photograph of the woman and a man, both of whom are smiling. The man is holding a baby. The picture is halfway torn between the woman and the man.

[Caption] People told me I’d change, that I would become fiercely loving and have a special bond. It just didn’t happen.

Panel 6

[Image] The half of the picture, now fully torn off, of the father holding the baby.

[Caption] A couple years later, the father and I split up. We knew it would be best for everyone if she went with him. I saw my daughter four more times before she died at age 28.

Panel 7

[Image] The other side of the torn photo, with the woman smiling.

[Caption] “There’s a special place in hell for women like you!” “What kind of woman wouldn’t want children?” “How dare you, children are a gift from God.” “I would NEVER do anything like that, no matter what the circumstance!” “I can’t believe how selfish people like you are.”

Panel 8

[Caption] Would they say this to a father who understood that it was best for the child to live with the mother? The comments are almost always from other women. I still feel the judgment and condemnation every day. But some of us just aren’t maternal.

Panel 9

[Image] The woman, in a uniform, holding another woman, who looks bruised and dirty.

[Caption] I poured my heart and soul as a paramedic.

Panel 10

[Image] Two silhouettes in the foreground, facing each other. One has a fist raised, and the other is pointing a finger at the opposite silhouette. In the background, the woman, as a girl, is standing, looking at the fighting silhouettes, with her arms crossed and looking upset.

[Caption] And some of us are afraid we’d only perpetuate the abuse we grew up with.

Panel 11

[Caption] “I would NEVER do anything like that, no matter what the circumstance.” But you’ve never lived my circumstance. I wish that motherhood wasn’t expected of all of us.