A medic at Lister Hospital in Stevenage, Hertfordshire, has advised men against attempting DIY circumcision with nail clippers, after a young man who'd decided this was the best way to go roundhead was admitted for emergency treatment.

Staff disinfected the unnamed victim's wound, and he was dispatched to an observation ward bed. According to the Telegraph, the medic stressed: "This is something we would advise men never to attempt. The results can be quite horrific and long-lasting and have quite an effect on a man's sexual performance."

Hinting at what had provoked the patient to treat his foreskin in such a cavalier fashion, the medic concluded: "Using a pair of nail clippers must have caused excruciating pain, even if he had had a few drinks beforehand." ®