Why don't you just say it straight, Education Minister Gideon Sa'ar? "I want to screw the Arabs in a way that no one's thought of up until now, which is why I came up with the idea to fund schools according to their percentage of army recruits, no matter the price. True, this screws the ultra-Orthodox as well, but we'll sort something out for them like we always do. In the meantime, we'll propose something to appeal to the riffraff."

Personally, I was so happy to hear about this idea. I'd actually like to apply Sa'ar's philosophical foundation to other areas of our lives so that those who've already graduated from school can enjoy the benefits as well in retrospect.

First of all, I propose that all citizens – mainly the Hebrew mothers – will sing the following anthem every day:

Hail, hail, hail!

My son is a soldier!

And therefore I am able

To put eggs on the table

And if you don't like it

Then you can lump it!

After singing this national anthem, the loyal citizens of this country – especially those that want equal rights – will wear their uniforms, and display their ranks. It will be stated in advance that soldiers are accorded higher status than other citizens – and in this way many problems that have been plaguing Israeli society for years will be solved. For example: the move will end power struggles within families, as well as all sorts of questions about equality that have been occupying the Western world over the last few years, but that are – just between us – nonsense.

If, for example, a woman holds a rank that is higher than her husband's, she will be able to command him. Uniforms won’t just be worn at home, but also at the supermarket, and officers will get served before regular soldiers, and also get to cut in line. They'll also be able to do this in the bus queues, and in coffee shops the owners will say to the waitresses, "I see that a sergeant just walked in, leave all those corporals alone and attend to the VIP."

Oh, what a great order there will finally be in the Jewish state! So what if order is often the refuge of the tyrant? So what if the darkest dictatorships use their military for all sorts of non-military needs and know how to hold the most impressively beautiful and organized military parades? So what if extreme order is often a cover for a tremendous disturbance that cannot be controlled, only delayed? The main thing is that the semblance of order is maintained.

Apparently the Messiah has arrived – and I'm the only one who hasn't been informed. Otherwise, it's difficult to comprehend why Sa'ar thinks that all the wretched, dying, ignorant educational system lacks – a system that produces illiterates and which has no guiding principles or common decency – is a reward for recruiting its students to the army or national service.

It's very easy to create order by instilling fear on one side and providing temptations on the other. It's much more difficult to educate.

The Israel Defense Forces is the military protecting Israel. It is not a police force, nor a medical authority, nor an educational authority, and recruitment to the IDF should definitely not be used as a criterion to promote the educational institution the soldier came from. When an army knows its goals, as Machiavelli said more than 400 years ago, it will be a lot easier to recruit soldiers to fight in it.

As long as our soldiers are serving the interests of the far-right and chasing Arabs in the Occupied Territories over God-knows-what, don't be surprised that the percentage of recruits is so low. And don’t attempt to tempt us, or the schools' administrations, into pressurizing students to enlist because that isn’t the way forward.

Make no mistake: there are schools that are already dancing to this tune, as well as to other, even more twisted ones. These schools emphasize the importance of Israel's military might, the importance of conscription and the huge number of conscripts who came from the school in every meeting and every assembly. They also prohibit the entry of youth movements like Hashomer Hatzair because they are too left wing. Two weeks after the election these nationalistic academies will emerge and flourish, erasing the wretched remnants of freedom that still remain in this country.

Gideon Sa'ar: We, the leftists, don’t want order. We want disorder. We want to know why our children are being conscripted into the army to carry out unnecessary missions, and what right you have to suggest conscription fees for them.