Last night, I received this email from a guy named Brian. It’s possible that he meant to send it to somebody else, but I choose to believe that he just really wanted my input on his new rap song. I am, after all, a highly respected hip-hop producer.

Starlight (PREVIEW) by Brian, NOT by Alex Nichols

Here’s what I wrote back:

Brian,



Pretty good shit, man! Just a few notes:



I’d add a few more “yeahs” at the top of the track. Maybe throw in a “yes” or two for good measure. I can tell that you’re feeling it, but are you FEELING it? Also, are you SURE it’s right? Merely saying “that’s right” isn’t all that convincing. Try something like “That is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, absolutely 100% correct and cannot be refuted!” It might not flow as well, but at least we’ll know for certain whether it’s right. “Four days” is good. Keep it. You should probably strike the line about feeling it in the air tonight unless you want to share a writing credit with Phil Collins. (Then again, who wouldn’t?) I like the line about “coming harder than the lessons that you learn from life” because it’s so ambiguous. Are you referring to the lessons one might learn from Life cereal, such as the importance of a nutritious breakfast? Or do you mean the lessons one might learn from LIFE magazine and its illuminating photo essays? Or perhaps you mean The Game of Life, which teaches its players that it’s not easy to provide for a carful of colorful plastic pegs! Leaving it open to interpretation is a good move. It really makes you think. “The truth is clear as black and white” – a bit of a cliche, no? Here are some alternatives: “The truth is clear as planes and kites” “The truth is clear as bits and bytes” “The truth is clear as Zima, aiight?”

I was wondering who the “man that you aspire to” was until I heard the line about Buzz Lightyear. I LOVE the idea of dedicating the whole song to such an iconic movie character. In fact, I could definitely see this track playing over the end credits of Toy Story 4 if Randy Newman dies before 2019 (fingers crossed!). Get that Pixar money, man. “That was quite a fright / it’s like I seen a ghost” - Good lyric, and a great opportunity to sample some spooky ghost sounds. This WAV file I found on the Internet would add another moody layer to the track’s already haunted feel. This could be the Halloween jam of 2011! “I just pop the clutch in this spaceship … ” I’m no astronaut, but I’m pretty sure spaceships don’t have stick shifts. I think they just press a button or tell the computer to activate the laser-boosts or something. (Again, not an astronaut.) If you’re going for accuracy, you might want to research how spaceships work. But I may be missing the point on this one. You’re going to have to drop the word “shit” if you want that Pixar money. “Biscuit” is a fun, family-friendly alternative that still makes sense and fits the rhyme scheme. The chorus is KILLING IT! The auto-tuning is tastefully done and blends in with the feel of the track as a whole. I especially like the maracas. I wish there were more maracas. Like, a maraca solo would be insanely awesome. Think about it: Nobody in the rap game is doing extended maraca solos right now. You could be a hip-hop pioneer! And can you imagine the crowd at live shows when the maracas kick in? They would go NUTS! In fact, you should probably change your stage name to MC Maracas. Let’s start building a brand here! I like the beat.

That’s all I have for now. If I think of anything else, I’ll let you know.



Alex

He hasn’t replied yet. I hope he likes my ideas!

UPDATE: He responded! And I sent him my own verse!