tv

Updated: Apr 11, 2016 12:11 IST

In Greek mythology, there was a man called Sisyphus. After he died, he was punished in hell for his sins. He was asked to roll a massive boulder up a steep, high hill and every time he would reach the top, the boulder would roll back down. Sisyphus would then roll it up again and again till eternity. It is said that Sisyphus was sentenced to the worse punishment possible, the futile labour.

That’s where I come in. It’s been two months already and we are still a long way from cleansing the horrid and shameless ways of the Hindi television. Things, instead of getting better, seem to be plummeting in a deep abyss. If the naagins and shape-shifting human-tigers were not torture enough, a vishkanya has joined the party. She is supposed to be blue and poisonous for some reason. Why? The makers of the serial alone would know.

Anyway, here are my top picks for the really bad stuff seen on TV this week:

1. A great lesson in gender equality

Source: Sasural Simar Ka (Colors)

Who needs to sleep anyway? Here in front of you are the king and queen of Pataal Lok and they are supposed to be, umm, one person? Aww, these two are relationship goals!

Read: Icchadhari peacocks and more fresh hell from TV

2. I’m blue da ba dee da ba die...

Source: Vishkanya/Zee TV

Didn’t you guys know? This is the leaked footage from the Indian adaptation of James Cameron’s Avatar. The budget was a problem so they decided to make a TV soap instead.

Read: Weird, insane and plain stupid | Hilarious plot twists on TV

3. Uber has a new potential customer base

Source: Naagin/Colors

Check out this lazy naagin who decided to hitch a ride to the nearby forest. Carpooling is smart. Maybe she had an ‘even’ car on an ‘odd’ day. #DelhiEvenOddIsBack

4. Love by chocolate

Source: Kaala Teeka/Zee TV

That moment when you realise he is a Nutella fanatic just like your weird self and you finally have someone to aide your kinky fantasies that also involve a jar or two of the sweet, ‘chocolaty’ heaven.

Read: The absolute, most ridiculous things that happened on TV

5. Getting a rad hairdo after he leaves you

Source: Saath Nibhana Saathiya/Star Plus

A widow is willingly getting her hair shaved to mourn her husband’s death. No, it’s not a period drama. Yes, it is the year 2016 on the show too. However, considering how many leaps the show has taken, it might as well be 3016.

The author tweets as @soumya1405