My (also white) friend wears a bindi and practices yoga. Whenever I try to tell her she shouldn’t, she says I ‘don’t know anything about it because I’m white too’, I’m 'being too PC’ or I’m 'just jealous because it makes her so special’. I tried linking her to this blog but she says it’s oversensitive and whiny(!!!) and I honestly don’t know what to do with her anymore.

It doesn’t help that we live in a very white area with no PoC at all to call this behaviour out. People think she’s either being trendy or 'culturally sophsticated’ I-

ugh

Explaining that the bindi in particular is a desi thing and that she mustn’t wear it even if it’s not a 100% religious item also draws eye-rolls. “But what if a white girl was brought up in a desi family and in desi culture?? Would she be banned from wearing the bindi despite everyone around her wearing it, just because she was white?” is the latest rebuttal.

1. That’s a pretty unlikely situation there.

2. It would surely be up to her to decide, and if she did choose to wear the bindi she would have to understand that she would have to sensibly explain her reasons for wearing the bindi to anyone who may take justifiable offense and be understanding of the criticism she would be putting herself up for.

3. There could be white girls brought up in desi households all over the place for all it matters - you and I, my friend, were born and raised in Wales in Welsh families and are so white you could mash us into paste and put us in an oreo cookie. Do. Not. Wear. The. Fucking. Bindi. It. Is. Not. Yours.

Do pilates! Buy some pretty earrings or change your makeup style! You can get fitness, flexibility and ~sparkly accessories~ without taking spiritually and culturally significant items from cultures you have nothing to do with. Love Indian culture? Watch movies or learn a language or learn to cook or read novels or do something which isn’t insensitive.

Sorry we just had another big fight about it today and it just makes me so damn angry. Thank you for this blog - even if my friend is a lost cause, I hope some people will see your blog and change for the better.

_______

Don’t be friends with people like that. She’s not worth your friendship. Karma will take care of her. You move on with your life and show her that you don’t need her and that she’s just a delusional little child living in a fantasy world. I hope she meets a desi and they open her eyes up to what she’s really doing.

-Anusuya