Just take a look at courtship rituals around the world, and you realize how much more awesome and/or insane things could be.

Flowers, candy and whiskey fueled midnight sexts are fine for chumps with no imagination. But we say if you're not willing to ritualistically shame yourself for your sweetheart, maybe it's not really love.

5 Spartan Brides Butched it Up for their Wedding Days

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Modern brides will do anything to get that perfect wedding day. Hair, nails, facials, dresses made of golden gossamer fairy wings; no expense is spared to play the part of the pretty, pretty princess on that special day.



"Maybe I should have chosen a husband..."

The brides of ancient Sparta were just like modern brides, if we were in Oppositeville.

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For starters, they began the big day by shaving their heads. Second, they donned men's clothes and sandals. Then, instead of participating in a ridiculously expensive ceremony with family and friends, prospective brides laid alone in the dark on a pallet, waiting for their grooms to come and steal them away in the night. Once a groom had his way with his new bride, he deposited her shaved, man-clothed self back at her parent's home. Done. Married. Que romantico!



And what a lovely bride!

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She wouldn't see him again until the next night, or the night after that. Sometimes, years could go by before these married lovebirds actually saw each other in the daytime.

Why?

According to some historians, to help ease the Spartan groom into heterosexuality.