

Dalton.

I'm sitting here with my computer. Trying to type away like you did when you'd stay over and write stories. Only my mind isn't full of fiction stories. I don't even know what to say. I'm just typing because the sound is soothing. It reminds me of you.





I could talk about all the things I miss about you. Like your smile and how you always have to make jokes. Even the annoying things. Like leaving your soda cans all over my house (cause you'd drink a case a day). Or drinking a gallon of my sweet tea before anyone else got a glass. And drinking that gallon of tea out of 5 different cups because you never remembered where you put your last one. And don't even get me started on all the stains you've left on my carpet. If I had known you would be gone, I wouldn't have complained about having to clean up after you. I'd let you leave as many cups and stains as you wanted if I thought it'd bring you back.





I could talk about all the times you stayed at my house. And the snoring. Oh my gosh, that snoring. When Kenny was deployed you would stay up late with me when I couldn't sleep and watch tv. The next thing I hear is what sounds like a dying pig in my ear. I never thought I'd miss that. I'd let you snore in my ear every night if I thought it'd bring you back.





I could talk about what a good brother you were to me. I remember many times, driving to and from Sedalia. making you listen to silly music while I danced like a nerd. You just laughed at me. Or fell asleep and snored louder than my music. :) And you were a great listener. Sometimes people talk more than they listen. You weren't really like that.





I could talk about what an amazing uncle you were. Oh May-May. Those boys love you so much. They don't know you're gone yet. And anyway I'm pretty sure Iosiah would just argue with me and tell me you must be at Jay-Jay's. I loved how you could be playing the PS3 or writing a story and they would come in and want to wrestle with you and you'd stop what you were doing to rough them up and give them attention. They loved riding on your shoulders. You're taller than mommy and daddy so you're much more exciting. I wish they could have told you goodbye. I don't even remember if they gave you a hug the last time we saw you. If I thought it would work, I would do ANYTHING for those boys and addie to have their May-May back.





Nothing can bring you back.



But I can learn from this. The biggest thing I've learned so far is to not take time for granted. What if those hateful words are the last thing you say to that person? What if you were mad at your spouse and refused to give them a kiss goodbye and they were in an accident and died. You can't always take those things back. And even if you do get to apologize, it still hurts. Its not easy to forget hurtful words. Words are more powerful than you know. Do your words build people up? or tear them down? The last time I saw Dalton, my words were not words of hate. If I had known that was the last time I'd see him though.…. I would have said so much more. I would have told him I was proud of him. I would have told him he was talented. He was handsome. He was great. He was LOVED. I would have probably annoyed him with too many hugs and kisses. If there is such a thing. This is the point I want to make. Don't waste time on things that don't matter. Is Facebook more important than telling your mom you love her and you're thankful for her. Is that video game more important than telling your siblings you're proud of them. go play with them. Is that movie more important than you calling your best friend that you haven't talked to in awhile and seeing how they are? What could be more important than your relationships with those you love? I would have made sure I said all those things to Dalton, if I knew it was the last time. I would have made sure my boys got their last hugs and kisses from him...



Dalton knew I loved him. And he knew I always will.



He'll always be my Dolly Madison. He'll always be their May-May. He'll always be the Jester. He'll always be our Dalton.









Also, can I just say that it sucks that hostess is going out of business. I didn't really buy a lot of their products but they owned Dolly Madison which is where we got dalton's nickname when we were all little. I saw a sign the other day at the grocery store that basically said dolly madison was gone. ...yeah. Just seems like poor timing.

Some people have asked for a copy of my "speech" for my brother's funeral. I don't know that'd I'd call it a speech. Maybe a letter or something? Anyway, I just decided to post it here so whoever wants it can read it.