J.P. Pelzman

@JPPelzman

PISCATAWAY - Jerry Kill has endured numerous epileptic seizures since suffering his first in 2000. He also has overcome Stage 4 kidney cancer, which only was diagnosed after a series of seizures he had in 2005.

So when Jerry Kill says that every day he’s alive is a good day, he means it.

“God doesn’t want me, I can tell you that,” Kill said in his trademark Midwestern twang, chuckling.

The former University of Minnesota head coach became Rutgers’ offensive coordinator in December, about 14 months after leaving coaching because he was unable to balance the stresses of the job with the demands of his medical condition.

But Kill said during a recent wide-ranging sitdown with Gannett New Jersey that he is feeling much better. Not only has he lost 25 pounds because of a low-carb diet designed specifically for his condition, but he noted the requirements of being a coordinator are nowhere near those of being a head coach, especially in today’s college game.

“It’s night and day,” Kill said, “what you deal with as a head coach and as a coordinator. (Being a head coach) is very hard. There are so many responsibilities, especially when you’re building a program.”

That’s what Rutgers coach Chris Ash is trying to do, and what Kill already has done at Minnesota. In 2011, he took over that program after a 3-9 season. The Golden Gophers have made five consecutive bowl appearances, the last two after Kill resigned in October 2015.

“Chris has laid a good foundation,” Kill said. “He’s done everything he needs to do. Now we have to go out and get some players, because you don’t win because of coaches. You win because of players. … Coach (Ash) has been great to me. I think he respects me and all the experiences I’ve had.”

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Although Kill’s workload as a coordinator isn’t quite as strenuous as when he was running his own program, it still isn’t easy. And it certainly includes plenty of recruiting, something the 55-year-old Kill embraces.

“I enjoy the recruiting part and a lot of people don’t,” Kill said. “I think my years of experience help. I’ve been a head coach (and) I think there’s some credibility to that when you walk in a (recruit’s) house. They know who you are. They may not know me personally, but they know I was a head coach at Minnesota and was Big Ten coach of the year (in 2014). Kids read up on all that stuff.”

Kill said he hasn’t lost a recruit because of his condition and, in fact, believes it may help him with some players, saying some recruits may think, “If that guy is doing that (despite epilepsy), I might want to go play for that guy. … I’m pretty up front about it.”

That wasn’t always the case in the past, however.

Coming to grips

Kill, who had his first seizure in 2005, didn’t admit to having epilepsy until 2012. He credits Vicki Kopplin, the former executive director of the Epilepsy Foundation of Minnesota, for getting him to open up to others about his condition.

“She was very persistent,” Kill recalled, “(saying) ‘Hey, you need to get involved. … You’re on a platform, and you can help us.’”

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Kill said after speaking with Kopplin, he later attended an event in which epileptic children spoke, “And I think that’s when I finally said, if they can get up and speak, then I need to do something. That’s how the Chasing Dreams foundation came about.”

Chasing Dreams, the Coach Kill Epilepsy Fund, is part of the Epilepsy Foundation of Minnesota. The foundation runs a summer camp every year for youngsters with epilepsy, called Camp Oz. Kill, a lifelong Midwesterner until coming to Rutgers, also plans to partner for fundraising with the national office of the Epilepsy Foundation, located in Landover, Maryland. Kill also is involved in the #TackleEpilepsy campaign on social media, to raise awareness.

Kill also has written a book with Jim Bruton called “Chasing Dreams: Living My Life One Yard at a Time,” published by Triumph Books, with a portion of the proceeds going to his foundation.

Raising awareness

“Coach Kill using the word ‘epilepsy’ is very important and significant,” Kenneth Lowenberg, vice president of communications and digital strategy for the Epilepsy Foundation, said in an email to Gannett New Jersey. “Epilepsy can be a very isolating condition, in part because no one talks about it as much as it deserves.”

“Jerry Kill defines courage,” said Phil Gattone, president and CEO of the Epilepsy Foundation. “We thank him for his passion, friendship, courage, and example.”

“When people don’t say the word, our community is harmed because it undermines much needed public awareness and research support,” added Lowenberg, who earned a BA in communications from Monmouth University in 1990. “Coach Kill saying ‘epilepsy’ is incredibly empowering for everyone living with epilepsy and their families.”

So just how frightening is it to have an epileptic seizure?

“I really don’t know,” said Kill, who usually loses consciousness during seizures. “The caretakers are the ones who see everything. I’ve had some grand mals and you just come out of them so sore and stiff. It’s like you’ve been in a car wreck. That’s the best way to describe it.”

He credits his wife, Rebecca, for helping him persevere.

He said, “She’s been a great caretaker and understands what to do” during a seizure.

Kill can’t wait to be able to coach hands-on when spring practice begins next month.

“I’m excited,” he said. “It’s like new life.”

That’s a feeling Kill would know better than most people.