Bit of background: I work in tech. Had just started a job a couple of months ago after my graduation. I already had about a year and a half experience before my master's so this is not my first job by any means, but it was my first job in a new country. Pay was pretty decent.

Anyway, I was in the most toxic environment with the worst boss I've ever faced - with micromanagement down to the name of file and variables (which were far from the standard naming convention in case anyone is wondering), impossible deadlines to meet (which I learned later he was just using as a power play) and became extremely insecure when I did manage to complete those by the deadlines. Blocked me from meetings with everyone higher, all the interviews that I was previously attending. Every day became a struggle, with him breathing down my neck for as long as I was in the office, nitpicking every single thing, saying "I don't want to micromanage but.." and doing the precise same thing. I could not even use the washroom for 15 min without him asking where I was. There were 3 people in the team but the throughput was of 1 because he could not tolerate anyone working separately till he wasn't working on it as well. I was treated with absolute disrespect (I've been treated with more respect when I was an intern at other places) and even though I was actively looking for new jobs, finally toward the end of it, I didn't have the energy even to apply for a new job as I was so physically and mentally exhausted from everything. Fortunately, I was laid off a few weeks ago and I can now see the full damage it caused to my physical and mental health, and I believe the layoff was the best thing to happen to me.

The thing is, reading so many similar posts on reddit, and in so many other places with such similar stories, I've lost motivation to apply for new jobs because I can't take another job like that - I just can't. Even when I think of applying for a new position, I get flashbacks of this. I am okay financially for a couple of months without a new job but I can't stay like this forever, and also I know job search can take a few months especially in this covid 19 environment, so what do I do?

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tl;dr: PTSD from a previous job preventing me from applying to a new job, but I need a job to survive