After winning MTV’s The Challenge: Vendettas earlier this year, Cara Maria Sorbello is back in action for her 12th season, Final Reckoning. As she vies for the $1 million prize alongside rival and partner Marie Roda, she’s blogging about it exclusively on PEOPLE! Follow Cara Maria on Twitter at @CaraMariaMTV.

With all the bombs dropped on the premiere of The Challenge: Final Reckoning, this has been the longest week ever anticipating what happens next!

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After one hell of a jam-packed first night, we finally get to see the aftermath of the Kailah/Melissa fight. T.J. delivers the GOOD news that Kam and Kayleigh get to stay in the game. I had a feeling this would be the case, but I really wonder what kind of killer team Kam and Melissa would have made. I do hope to see Melissa come back and fight it out again (not literally) in the future. That girl has fire… and she looks great naked. Anyway, I am truly happy for both Kam and Kayleigh as I have a lot of love for both women. This is one of the rare teams that I can root for wholeheartedly. Kam is such a strong and fearless boss that I’m anxious to see what she can bring out of Kayleigh this season.

As these two try to get acquainted as new partners, we move on to other business upstairs on the deck.

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This season, I find myself drawn to Paulie. He makes me feel incredibly comfortable and knows how to make me smile when I start to go to my dark place. As we hang out upstairs, Brad joins us for a chat about Kyle. I am honestly rooting for Brad and I want to work with him. I’m close friends with Britni, who is in the Redemption House right now (unbeknownst to any of us), so I want to make sure I hold down the fort for her. Brad takes the time to express worry about my broken relationship with Kyle and how it could affect their team.

Honestly, the viewers aren’t seeing it all right now, but Kyle has been straight-up mind-twisting me since we got here. One minute he’s saying he cares about me and the next he’s flaunting his side chick in my face. He tells me he can’t actually sleep with ME because “there would be feelings involved.” He says it’s easier to sleep with other chicks that he doesn’t care about. So basically, in preventing himself from being hurt, he’s hurting me. I’m still confused over what even happened between us or why he’s playing games with me now. If he had walked into the house on day one and said, “I want to sleep with other people, but I still have your back,” all of this would be avoided. I’m wrapping my brain around being in a house trying to deal with how to play this game when someone I used to be close with is playing mental games with me. I want to be on Brad’s side, but I’d rather not be around Kyle at all.

As if things couldn’t be more twisted, Britni is in Redemption with her ex, Chuck. I have barely spoken two words to Chuck since I met him, so I only know her side of the story between them — that Chuck walked out on her with no explanation. She has spoken highly of Brad and how he treats her. She’s never said anything good about Chuck. However, watching the two of them in the Redemption House… I’m feeling a little sexual tension and unfinished business. It seems like there might be more to the story and I’m dying to see what really happens next.

Speaking of broken relationships, when we left off Vendettas, Johnny Bananas and Natalie were dealing with their own set of issues. Natalie was upset with Johnny for not being honest about making out with Kayleigh early in the season. Natalie is a sweet girl and has a soft spot for the Banana. She wants to make things right with him but he’s being stubborn. I NEED these two to get over their issues and make nice. Johnny and Natalie are both important pieces of my trusted alliance. If these two can’t see eye-to-eye, my political game is going to be that much more strained. I think they both really care about each other which is why they are both feeling the way they do in the first place. WORK IT OUT, YOU GUYS!

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With everything going on in the house, I’m ready to just get out and compete. I’m honestly just hoping the next challenge is another one where I do all the work. I don’t like Marie and I don’t know how we can work together. I’m still annoyed with us being partners. I feel used. I don’t want to work with her.

Before we can compete though, we finally get to see which name on Johnny’s long list of vendettas is going to play by his side. Turns out, it’s TONY TIME! Everyone seems stoked to see Tony Raines, but I’m being realistic. Tony and Johnny are a strong team. That’s two strong guys with alliances on all sides of the fence. I’m fighting in Johnny’s corner, but only one of us can win… and Johnny is looking stacked. They would be a tough team to run a final against.

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We kick off the competition in two heats. The first heat has all the girls going first with only Brad/Kyle holding it down for the dudes. With his huge wingspan, Brad dominates the first round. Directly opposite of him, and with both Veronica and Amanda tied up next to them, Angela is able to get some extra rings. She does pretty well on her first challenge.

In the next heat, all the boys take flight this time… oh, and me. Let’s just say, I can NOT work with Marie. I’ve got Johnny and Kyle dominating on both sides of me snatching rings left and right. I have Marie looking at me like a deer in the headlights afraid to step closer to the edge to take the rings from me. She can’t take direction and before I know it, there are no rings left to grab. This is a disaster.

Speaking of disasters, how about Tori and Derek? Derek looks like a boss on paper, but what in the absolute hell is he doing in this challenge? Tori has lost her mind. There is literally nothing more she can do or say to help him. I feel like being partnered with someone he considers a strong competitor has gotten in his head. He has to be better than this. Today is not the day. This sucks because I’m rooting for Tori. That’s my girl. Hopefully these guys have a chance to pull it together on the next challenge.

After all is said and done, Kyle and Brad win immunity. However, there is no loser. Apparently, if you don’t win, you are IN. We don’t get to see how the voting system is going to work just yet, but it’s clear Kyle is on a power trip with his win. I honestly feel like my team could be in danger. However, Kyle does have Shane on his radar due to some past Twitter beef. Oh, and Paulie. Because he’s JEALOUS.

So there’s that.

‘Til next week my friends.