Countless women dream of being able to work from home: Making your own hours, being present for your children, and even skipping out on that uncomfortable business attire are all part of the appeal, but for most women, working from home and making a livable salary seems impossible. Well it doesn’t have to be! Just look at me: I easily make $100,000 a year from home by being married to my wonderful husband, Mr. Slick Dick Richy Rich.

Mr. Slick Dick Richy Rich and I met some years ago at an event that I can’t tell you the details of because only famous-from-controversy senators and famous-from-controversy baseball players are technically supposed to know about it. Slick Dick (that’s what I call him for short) and I were both there on separate dates, but as soon as our eyes met from across the room we were drawn to each other like oppositely charged magnets, or like money to more money. And that’s how I realized I could unlock the key to financial freedom.

Cut to four years later and Slick Dick and I are happily married, and I’m making six figures a year working on my cookbook of tapas for non-Spanish speakers (out in August, year T.B.D!). So I suppose I would suggest trying something like that!

Now don’t get me wrong, you should be aware before making this big lifestyle change that working from home isn’t all fun and games. Of course, in my case, it did literally begin as a game since one year Slick Dick Richy Rich “paid” me $100,000 as an inside joke about “revitalizing the middle class”, and that tickled him so much that he just never stopped.

Anyway, the problem with working from home is that sometimes you’re sitting at your granite top kitchen island — literally an island! We surrounded it with water, which is very avant-garde, of course, but I do sometimes fall in and have to wait until Slick Dick is home to fish me out. So, mixed feelings, overall — and you’re wearing your apron, Google translating ‘patatas bravas’, and you just become overwhelmed with such a sense of listlessness and ennui that you begin to wonder what you even got that masters in social work for. But I guess at an office you’d just call that Wednesday!

So find yourself a Mr. Slick Dick Richy Rich and you, too will see that working from home can be an absolute breeze! Or, if you’re more of the independent type, I would consider just being an heiress.

Good luck!