ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A locally-unpopular Virgo who moonlights as a vaporwave disc jockey four nights a week sat down to compile his tax return this year, only to remember that he actaully hasn’t been paid, ever.

Sully ‘Frogstomp’ Jones, who received his nickname not from the Silverchair album but from his penchant to stomp on frogs whenever he sees them in his garden, remembers being paid once or twice but most of the time he says he received drink tickets and meal vouchers.

“Do I have to declare that?” he asked our reporter earnestly.

After telling the 24-year-old that he didn’t have to declare drink tickets or meal vouchers, Sully let out a long sigh.

“What about the cash? I didn’t ask for any receipts.”

The Advocate advised Jones that it’s extremely unAustralian to declare cash income – or lodge a tax return without first trying to minimise your bill.

“Well then! [laughs] Guess I’ll roll the dice on not lodging again this year!” he said.

More to come.

