Floating on the surface, waves gently passing me by. Fish tickling me as they swim by, life is good. Sun peeking out from foggy skies. I am alone. Only God is with me. I am forced to accept me for what I am able to do. I have to say hello, to hear my voice, but the only one who answers is me. Hearing the sound echo from the depth of my soul I recognize myself but never knew me before.

A tiny sperm helped mold me into the form I take today. Years of learning, hearing voices, recognizing right from wrong. Yet today I wonder if the decisions I make are right for me. While God is holding me above sinking ground I have no choice but to live or die.

Is one better than the other? Is death more beautiful than life? I have the opportunity to find out now, but no, I am not ready. Although many speak of glorious lights, golden paths, love being the air we breathe, how can that compare to what I see in my view today?

Would it make a difference if I could fly to heaven and see if it is what I have heard? Would it make living easier if I knew for sure something better was waiting at the end of the rainbow?

Could we live with our bad choices knowing the consequences will be short?

We live in the moment, we hope for the best. We error, we win, some times we weep in our pillow.

I have come to the conclusion that although there is fear of tomorrow and heaven is golden, we need what we are dealt with each moment here on earth. We would never appreciate the here after if our lives were not filled with tests.

One day my work will be done and God will call me home. I will look back in my own book and smile as I know I gave all I had to give. The mistakes that I made will have been done without vicious intention. Desires that I dreamed of, wishes that went unanswered were meant to be.

Life is good. Heaven is wonderful. I am here for a purpose and I will decide to enjoy the rocks in the road. The valleys I will climb out of. The choices I make I will accept.

Living is for the breathing, looking back we won’t see our footprints. We have no choice, we either live or we die. Hold on to your hope, follow your dreams, one day you will close the last page of your book and you will smile.