1. They're non-committal. Even something as simple as making plans for Saturday night is impossible for 99.9 percent of guys. This is not up for debate, this is science.

2. They want to take you out, they don't want to PLAN the outing. It's like serving s'mores without the marshmallows. THEN IT'S NOT REALLY A S'MORE, IS IT?

3. Guys possess no sense of urgency about texting you back. Net negative urgency, in fact. Sloths are faster at climbing to the top of huge rainforest trees than guys are at texting when you want them to.

4. They say rude, backhanded things to you, thinking they're compliments. For example: "You would have such a good body if you worked out."( You would have such a good personality if you didn't have a mouth?)

5. They believe in some garbage "three-day rule" that mandates they not call you for three days after a date. Which leads to three days of time wasted trying to decode what he's thinking.

6. They think it's funny to call you "bro."

7. They make fun of your apartment being messy even though theirs is 1,000 times messier.

8. They never respond to your emoji texts with equally good/cute/clever emoji texts.

9. They interrupt important television shows with unwanted sexual advances. Sometimes, a girl just needs to catch up on Bravo in peace.

10. They make you watch bad/boring shit like Pawn Stars and sports.

11. They forget to bring important things when they sleep over, like contact cases and toothbrushes.

12. They think the way to make you like them is to act like a dick.

13. They tell you "let's talk next week" and then don't text instead of just telling you they're not interested.

14. They don't know how to be quiet in the morning if you're still sleeping.

15. When they don't shave it hurts your face but when they grow a beard it looks stupid.

16. They sometimes do that thing when you're blowing them where they thrust while you are trying to control it and almost choke you to death.

17. You can hang out with his friends like a human being but when you suggest hanging out with your friends they react like you just asked them to eat glass.

18. They constantly underestimate how long things will take. Like, "It'll only take 15 minutes to get to the airport!" And it takes an hour and fifteen minutes.

19. They think you like watching them watch TV/YouTube videos/playing video games.

20. They give observations instead of compliments: "You changed your hair."

21. When you're going somewhere new, he starts driving before your Google Maps has even loaded.

22. He doesn't really get "women's studies."

24. They do that thing in chairs/on the subway where they sit with their legs eight feet apart so you have no room to sit on either side of them.

25. They always ask you to put their stuff in your purse because they're too afraid to wear a man bag.

26. They don't use the stuff they ask you to put in your purse. "I'm going to bring this very heavy camera that you will be carrying for me in t-minus 5 minutes."

27. You have to hang out with their friends' shitty significant others.

28. They have so much laundry because all their clothes have guy smell after an hour of wear.

29. Their towels always smell.

30. They put their arm around you when you walk together which weighs you down and gives you hunchback.

31. They act like being forced to be in the same room with you while you watch Bravo/Scandal/anything "girly" is the worst thing that ever happened in their entire lives.

32. Bachelor parties.

33. They claim to love building shit, but when you ask them to put together your Ikea chair they're suddenly too busy.

34. Their single friends are always single for a reason, meaning you can't set them up with your friends.

35. Ball scratching.

36. Leaving their hands in their pants when the ball scratching is done.

37. At first they don't want you to pick out their clothes, but then you help them and all of the sudden they can't get dressed without you.

38. They play Fantasy Football. What is that even??!

Did we miss any? Tell us in the comments below!

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10 Things You Should Never Say To a Single Twentysomething

26 Signs He's Cheating On You

Photo Credit: Universal

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