WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump tweeted early Wednesday morning that his practice of sleeping only four hours a day was having no impact whatsoever on his ability to cljjryff.

Trump, who repeatedly touted his high energy level during the 2016 campaign, tweeted that, despite his gruelling Presidential schedule, he still had enormous reserves of stamina, which he called “stamgygygyggy.”

In the same tweetstorm, he lashed out at news reports questioning his fitness for office, denouncing them as “fakequez%(™.”

The White House said that, despite pleas from his legal team to delete his Twitter feed, Trump planned to continue tweeting, and that Education Secretary Betsy DeVos would continue to spell-check his tweets.