Sometimes when the people speak, it’s best not to listen.

Well, at least when you’re analyzing write-in votes from Tuesday’s election.

Consider that someone proposed these candidates for area school boards – Bill Cosby in Pine Hill, Voldemort in Pennsauken and Sin in Stratford.

Not to mention Communist in Winslow, Whiskey in the Eastern Regional school district, and some guy in Berlin Borough with the middle name of “Sexy.”

Oh, and a particularly unappetizing sandwich of, um, fecal matter for Gibbsboro’s school board.

My traditional review of Camden County's write-in list typically finds some people are crying in despair.

They vote for Not-These-Guys, NJ Is Corrupt and We Deserve Better.

Others seethe with anger, voting for Worthless Idiot in Merchantville and They All Cheat And Steal in Waterford.

And some want to support the latest polling-place phenom.

That explains 14 votes for this fall’s rising star — a charismatic figure seen by some as a possible senator, congressman or county sheriff.

It’s Gritty, the Flyers mascot, who also got votes for school board seats in Audubon, Clementon, Cherry Hill, Collingswood and Haddon Township.

Of course, a few years ago, those trendy votes might have gone to Harambe, a doomed gorilla.

But political power is fleeting – and the big ape got just three votes this year. He could barely manage a tie with Vermin Supreme, a candidate who wears a boot on his head, in the race for a Lindenwold council seat.

Some of this year’s votes are baffling, like WaaterheatRoof and Chickenfoot for sheriff.

Others make sense in a strange way.

My-Hamster for U.S. Senate? Well, it is a rodent ...

And Bob Barkers Butt for Bellmawr council? He wouldn't be the first politician to talk through his — well, never mind.

But a few can't be explained.

Why do people take the time to type out “Anyone But (Candidate X),” when they could send the message more quickly by simply voting for X’s opponent?

And one or two are just creepy.

A Gloucester Township resident, voting in a regional school board race, wrote out a disturbing description of Santa Claus abusing his sister. Then, in the local school board race, he wrote something similar about two elected officials.

I don’t know you, buddy, but I’d vote for counseling.

This year’s list is a whopping 142 pages, largely because residents in some towns waged write-in campaigns for uncontested school board seats.

That's why Haddon Township saw almost 1,800 write-in votes, with only a few stray ballots for Luke Skywalker, Not a Sycophant and More Rigor.

Write-in candidates include cartoon characters and celebrities with names we all recognize.

Bon Jovi, Mike Trout and Mother-Teresa for the Senate.

Babe Ruth and Nick Foles for Congress.

Karl Marx, God and Yosemite Sam for sheriff.

But surprisingly, this year’s crop includes several people I actually do know.

For instance, here’s a former Courier-Post crime reporter getting two votes for freeholder and one for an Assembly seat.

And the wife of another former cop reporter appears right after Maud T. Cat in results for Collingswood’s school board.

It doesn’t take a detective to know somebody voted for his wife. The real mystery, though, is do they have a cat named Maud?

Jim Walsh: @jimwalsh_cp; 856-486-2646; jwalsh@gannettnj.com

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