Today in clearly-a-lie news: A 50-year-old woman in the U.K. claims that she has kept her youthful appearance by not smiling for the past 40ish years. No laughs with her gal pals. No joyful tears when her daughter was born. No flirtatious grins on dates. "I don't have wrinkles because I have trained myself to control my facial muscles," says Tess Christian. "Everyone asks if I've had Botox, but I haven't, and I know that it's thanks to the fact I haven't laughed or smiled since I was a teenager. My dedication has paid off; I don't have a single line on my face." Congrats?

Setting aside for a moment that I don't think it's possible she hasn't smiled even once in 40 years (can you fall in love without smiling?), I think it's even less likely that she didn't grimace in pain while giving birth. Other facial expressions create fine lines, too. Trust me: Years ago, while working on particularly last-minute story for which I couldn't get ahold of someone I needed to talk to, I nicknamed the forehead furrow that had suddenly arrived on my face in her honor.

Now let's address the "everyone thinks I've had Botox" brag: Is that really a compliment? Don't get me wrong—I'm sure Botox can look natural, but I've never met anyone and said, "Wow, that's some natural-looking Botox you've got there," because if it looks good, you don't notice they have it. If people are asking Christian if she has had Botox, they're really saying that her stone face looks unnatural, right? Christian claims she's not unhappy: "It's not as if I'm miserable. I love life. I just don't feel the need to show it by walking around with a rictus grin on my face." Cool take on smiling, sad lady!

Now, I know this chick is going to get a ton of crap about this choice (which, again, is probably not even real), so I won't pile on too much here. Whatever floats your boat and lets your freak flag fly—go for it. But I will say that not smiling sounds like one of the more unpleasant beauty tricks I've ever heard, and I've heard of people zapping themselves with lasers and rubbing horse fat on their faces.

What's the weirdest thing you've done for beauty?

Like Allure on Facebook and get more beauty news and daily tips in your feed.