The incoming Abbott government unveiled the full details of their cabinet today, managing to completely shatter even the tiniest of remaining hopes of the country moving forward over the next few years.

While such a statement seems hyperbolic to make, it doesn’t take more than a few moments of perusing the full ministry to truly appreciate just how grim this new government looks. Let’s start with the elephant in the room. There’s only one female member of the front bench. That accounts for 5.8% of the announced cabinet. They’ve missed the mark on the whole ‘equality’ thing so spectacularly you almost have to be impressed.

Further lowlights include the removal of the Minsters for Homelessness, Disability, Climate Change, Science and Mental Health – but that’s okay, because there’s a Minister’s for Border Control and Sport to make up for it-

I’m sorry. I cannot even finish that sentence without bursting into a hilarious combination of laughter and tears. Abbott hasn’t even been officially sworn in yet and this is the future we’re face. Hold on tight, kids. It’s going to be a bumpy term.

If there’s one good thing to come out of todays announcement, it’s the plethora of hilarious internet reactions. We’ve trawled social media and found our top ten. Have a scroll through them while I try to compose myself.

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Australia waits with baited breath for the next step backward. A Minister for Girl Germs, perhaps?

Reporting by HARRISON CARTWRIGHT, images by the Internet, face-palming courtesy of the Coalition.



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