Well, we spoke with a victim of female-on-male rape to find out what it's like to be the victim of a crime that most of society refuses to acknowledge is even a thing. Spoiler Alert: It's awful.

Most of us realize in theory that men can be raped by women as well, but it's just not seen as that big of a problem. Unless the victim is a child, female-on-male rape is considered so absurd that the only time we really see it is when it's being portrayed as a carousel of slapstick wackiness in mainstream comedies. You see a beautiful actress force herself on a tied-down Vince Vaughn and the only thought is, "Ha, I wish!" After all, don't movies tell us that men want sex, all the time, from absolutely anyone who'll give it to them? He should be thanking her!

Pointing out that society has a rape problem should be about the least controversial thing you can do, in any setting. It's impossible to say how many rapes occur ( because so many go unreported ), but there is universal agreement that too many women are being victimized and that the system often fails them . But we fail victims in another way, too: by automatically assuming, as we just did there, that all of the victims are women.

5 People Don't Believe It Can Even Happen

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A few years ago, I was at a house party, and I'd had what could politely be described as a bit too much to drink. My girlfriend tried to convince me to leave with her, but I assured her I was having fun and would be fine, and she somehow understood me even though I almost certainly sounded like I was speaking Dothraki at that point. It soon became clear to me that "fine" was a planet I had left hours ago, so I found a couch to crash on.

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My face slipped neatly into a cushion ass print.

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From here on out, every part of this story would be absolutely typical of a sexual assault ... if the genders were reversed. In fact, if I were female, many of you would literally be saying, "Are you crazy? This is how people get raped!" as you read this next part.

A resident of the house, being a good hostess, generously offered to stash me away in the relative privacy of her bedroom. Sometime later, another woman who was at the party came into the room, got into bed with me, and started trying to convince me to have sex with her. My memory of all this is very hazy, but I know that I repeatedly said, "No thanks, I have a girlfriend, surely you understand."

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Nope.

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That's where my coherent memory of the incident ends, but suffice it to say, she absolutely did not understand at all -- she took advantage of me while I was barely conscious and could no longer say no, which is more or less the exact definition of rape.

If the genders were reversed.

But for me, whenever I tell someone I was raped by a woman, they act like I just told them I was bitten by a leprechaun. They can't even fathom how such a thing would be possible. By far the most common response is a brief pause, followed by, "What do you mean?" One of the most hurtful responses was from a close male friend, who dismissed me by saying, "I'm sure she didn't hold you down."

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"Or did she? What position were you guys in? C'mon, give a bro some deets!"

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And that, right there, seems to be the psychological hurdle no one can get over. It's based on the idea that sex is something men do to women. Men give out sex, women receive it, and that's just how sex works. So if sex occurred, it must mean I was the one who made it happen. That either knowingly or deep down, I must have wanted it to happen.

That I was "asking for it."

Yeah, sound familiar?