Calamity Johnson’s private secretary is as useless as his boss

Boris Johnson’s right-hand man is trying to win re-election in Wells in Somerset. James Heappey has been the Wells MP since 2015 – and serves as Boris Johnson’s ‘PPS’, his parliamentary private secretary.

However, it appears four years in the constituency – and his proximity to all Johnson’s resources – haven’t been enough for Mr Heappey to get very familiar with it – or even to work out which country it’s in.

The Tories have been mocked for using election leaflets that look at first glance like a Labour one – with the only mention of the Conservatives in a small section on the back. But Mr Heappey’s leaflets carry another distinguishing feature.

They’re all about Wales, not Wells – except for the banner.

The front page of the leaflet proudly describes it as “The Wells Constituency Future” – and gives ‘voters in Wells’ a nod:

But the rest of the leaflet stridently tells those ‘voters in Wells’ how much the Tories claim they will do for Wales:

Wales. Wells. It’s an easy mistake to make – at least for the out-of-touch Tories. After all, it’s only thirty miles from Wells to Wales – at least as long as you’re prepared to swim the Bristol Channel.

One affronted Wells voter told the SKWAWKBOX:

Many people here have always considered Heappey an absentee MP, but you’d think he’d at least have worked out which country we’re in.

Heappey’s boss also had recent trouble in Somerset – Johnson was harangued by angry residents as he fled down the street after an attempted PR stunt.

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