The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

The Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.

The Golden Rule is useful in having successful interactions with others, but many have replaced it with the Platinum Rule. Truthfully, it doesn’t matter which rule you use, as long as your motives are right.

In John C. Maxwell’s book, Be A People Person: Effective Leadership Through Relationships, he outlines how simple it is to treat others well. All you have to do is remember what you like others to do for you. You want others to:

Encourage you

Raise your hand if you don’t like being encouraged. Anyone? Who doesn’t like genuine heartfelt encouragement. And just as much as you like it, do you think the people in your life like it too?

The happiest people are those who have invested their time in others. The unhappiest people are those who wonder how the world is going to make them happy.” – John Maxwell

Appreciate you

Never being told “Thank you” or being acknowledged for your gifts shows a lack of appreciation. William James even says, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

Forgive you

We want to be forgiven, so we must forgive. Unforgiveness called by any other name, like “holding a grudge” or “having a beef,” is still unforgiveness. Search your heart, get rid of any unforgiveness, and move forward.

Listen to you

Listening is the greatest skill you can develop. Being heard bonds us deeply to others.

The higher people go in management and the more authority they wield, the less they are forced to listen to others. Yet, their need to listen is greater than ever.” – John Maxwell

Understand you

Although you will never never be completely understood by everyone, you still want others to understand you, or at least make a good effort to understand. It feels great to be understood and keeps us vested in our relationships.

We all want and need to be encouraged, appreciated, listened to, forgiven, and understood. The Golden Rule works best when you consider the universal relational needs of others. And the Platinum Rule encourages us to ask, or find out how our subjects would like to be treated.

Example: Golden Rule: Jenny needs to be encouraged. Platinum Rule: Find out how Jenny would like to receive that encouragement. Verbally? In a note? Publicly? Privately?

What is your experience with the Golden or Platinum rule?