My sleep dreams get CANCELLED with the alarm clocking in at high volume.

"5 MORE minutes" yawnily I roar. "At least the day is FRIDAY..." But little did I knew it was going to turn out Freaky Froday! Now I reach to get my mobile device. But what? Can't REACH the Mobile Devase? What?

"How IS this possible" cry I out. But my VOCALS.... is all WOMAN??! Now my arms are short! Voice femail ?! My head waterfalls out the LONG Blonde HAIR ? ? Are you kiding me

Is this another "Punk" delevered by ASHTON Kutcher I rush this woman cadaver surprise swiftly out of bed. Mirror time !

"Hmmmm," examine I vicariously, "women."

Perchance it DOES the fault of the liberal media punping our FOOD full of ASTROGEN HORMONES? Possible! Possible! "Have I not seen these bodies before? Though?" puzzle I. "It does bear a strong 'resemblanche' to famous Hollywood movie star REESE WITHERSPOON.

"Have I indeed become Reese Witherspoon??" blasts the question through my Reese Witherbrain. So hard to tell... all these disney channel starlets identical nowadays. I am choiceless. Today I must live the Reese Witherspoon life. First order if business... getting dressed. "How what the FUCK does this BRASSIERE even FUNCTION" wrestle I for a good 20 MINUTE S with the mission impossible garment.

"Gold DAMN millions of tiny hooks! Amd clips?!" It will not be a success. I duct tape my bra shut. Being woman is not being wo"fun!" 1 HOUR LATER Strutting on the high lady heels I'm off to the job employment. Can not positively identify my very own body- infuriation! I keep attempting to put together these Reese's Pieces.

"Hey don't I know you?" hollers some kinda dude at me, "from CINEMA?"

"Yeah MAYBE," I reholler, "who am I look like according to you?"

"Jenefer Lawrence? ' J-Law '?" the man ventures. "Or Jenifir Aniston? ' J-Ans '??" wait what the hack "You mean I'm NOT Reese Witherspoon!?" I shout.

"Oh yeah... possibly!"

Now this joker had been truly use less . Yet I have an idea! If I'm am Reese Witherspoon...

....then Reese Witherspoon's is I ! Of COURSE. All everything makes so much sense now. Mission: Reach Witherspoon's house! 1 HOUR LATER My reese Fingerspoon hits the door bell. Yes I hear noisy coming in the house... Will MY body open the door?! This door a-swings WIDE open and.... It is Reese Witherspoon there. wait

QUE el JUECK "I do NOT be Reese my eyes!" indignified I shout in her famous visage. "If you are you than who am me?!?"

"I don't know," replies Reese Witherspoon "but I'm calling security now."

"No but WAIT !" beg I, "Look! I am exactly your doppelgangster!"

"Not really," shrugs Reese, "you kinda look like a fat Dakota Fanning. Dakota Fatting is what you look like," cruel Reese Winterpoon tells to me. And she JAMS the door SHUT. So dejected I leave the Reese Withersproperty. Imposible HEELS can NOT even walk good- I throw the heels off! And pull out my telephone for calling a taxi cab... "CNN BREAKING NEWS ALART" tells my notifications screen now. What could this be then?



"LIBERAL MEDIA CAUGHT INSETING ESTROGAN IN ALL FOOD" I KNEW it.

