Brandiose A glaringly obvious overestimation of a brand’s importance in the world.

Also referred to as Delusions of Brandeur.

Brandwidth The maximum amount of potential the brand can reach.

Mathematically equivalent to the number of Facebook “Likes” a brand’s page may garner.

Brandpa A grand old brand.

ie: Royal Mail, Jim Beam, that Jesus fish thing.

“Jumping on The Brandwagon” Following a trend pioneered first by another brand in a manner that provokes blog commenters to cry “rip-off!”

As seen in the usage of Gotham, the colour red, or any geometric or non-geometric shape.

The 10 Combrandments Thou shalt not make the logo bigger. Repeat 9 times.

Brandwich Many brands crammed together garishly in a minuscule space.

See also: motorsport.

Brandshell The core idea of a brand, preceding any real strategic, emotional, intellectual or tangible investment.

More commonly referred to as an idea shell or inane rambling.

Brandsaw The action, undertaken by a client, to severely cut back on a carefully strategized brand rollout in the interest of cost savings.

As in, “She’s pulling out the brandsaw. Get a bucket.”

Brandsome A truly magnificent specimen of a brand, with unparalleled attention to the Four C’s of branding:

Concept, Counterform, Contrast and Kerning.

Brandicapped A brand that has the courage to soldier on for decades despite its crippling issues.

Relevant cases: MySpace, America OnLine.

“Brand Spanking New” Innovative fetish brands.

Raisin Brand A flaky, corn-based brand, promoted principally via a single distinguishing feature of dubious uniqueness or value.

Amperbrand Any brand that conjoins with one or more additional brands without any effort to clarify or minimalize its name.

As with PriceWaterhouseCoopersDraperPrice.

Brandellabra An archaic brand with a multi-pronged strategic approach and tendency to fizzle out over time.

The Promised Brand Heaven for creatives; The place where all free thinkers aspire to be, and spend their entire careers attempting to reach.

Also commonly referred to as someone else’s blog.

B-Rand Second-rate or derivative branding that looks uncomfortably similar to the work of Paul Rand.

Russell Brand This dude’s funny. Check him out.

Brandgelina The merger of two brands of incredibly strong genes.

ie: Disney/Pixar, William/Kate.

Brandiloquence Pompous and overwritten copy in service of a brand that is in fact paltry or embarrassing.

“Experience the pinnacle of luxurious luxury in our mouth-wateringly succulent Baconator.”

Sub Brand Subway, Mr. Sub, Quiznos.

Brandito A brand that waits for another brand to pave the way, only to steal its thunder by doing the exact same thing.

See also: The cereal aisle.

Brandstanding The holding of wholly inappropriate or unrelated promotional events such as extreme cheese cycling (BrieMX) or a rock concert for an energy drink (GatorAid).

Brandom A brand that appears out of nowhere, makes no sense, and becomes quickly irrelevant.

See also: New Coke, Sarah Palin

Contrabrand A brand so malformed and ill-conceived it should be illegal.

See appendix B, Sherwin Williams.

Masterbranding An activity reserved for the privacy of an agency’s washroom stalls.

Brandelions Garish brands that appear where they are neither welcome nor relevant.

See Exercise D, What To Do When a Client Requests a Facebook Logo on a Billboard.