WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

In a feel-good story from regional Australia, a local farmer has managed to hold on to his property for another month at least.

This comes after Bill Walters managed to pay the mortgage with some vague promises of policy and action, rather than the traditional hard currency payment he usually makes.

“Mate, what a relief,” said Walters to The Advocate this afternoon.

“I’d been pulling my hair out all month about how I was going to pay the mortgage this time around, and the banker who manages my portfolio said it was fine to pay with the vague promise of money the track.”

“So thanks to the Government for that.”

“I mean, I was worried that I might not have been able to pay because I’ve spent the last few months doing what I can to help out the local community and haven’t seen the benefits of rain yet, and the bank might have fire-sold my property onto one of the banker’s mates at a dirt-cheap price,”

“But the bank manager was actually really caring and empathetic.”

“He didn’t explain to me that I actually need to pay, and he feels bad but he doesn’t really give a shit where the money comes from.”

“So things are looking up.”

“I’m glad we didn’t have to force the multinational resources companies who pillage the country and don’t pay tax to pick up the bill for a disaster they’ve exacerbated.”