NUTLEY, NJ– In a take hotter than the surface of the sun, senior forum member Dean Matthews assured a packed press pool early Tuesday morning that the new GT500 was either the greatest car ever made, or complete junk.

After having praise heaped upon him for his post’s god-like prose and diction, he demanded the press cease requesting autographs, and be seated on the sidewalk in front of his home.

“This new GT500, magazines are all saying its pretty good. I just don’t know about that, though. Having never driven the car and only skimmed articles about it, I’ve come to the conclusion that it could either be ground up into a snortable cure for cancer, or it’s total scrap shit.”

The press pool exploded with excited activity, frantically waving their hands to get a question in. Matthews pointed to a reporter in the crowd.

“Mr. Matthews, thank you so much for picking me first. Anyway, what makes you so sure the new Mustang is either the best car ever or complete trash?”

Matthews leaned into the microphone, “Get off my fucking thread loser.”

He moved his face away from the microphone, staring angrily at the reporter. He then leaned back in.

“Mods, ban this pussy.”

The crowd of journalists went silent and began to look over their shoulders, expecting something to happen. After a moment, the crowds gaze returned to a nervous Matthews, who cleared his throat and pointed to another journalist in the audience.

“Mr. Matthews, what is your opinion on the 5.2 liter sup-“

“It’s amazing. I’ve seen pictures of it. Also it’s fucking useless and sounds like shit. Ecoboost is better.”

The crowd of journalists realized what was going on and slowly began to back away from Matthew’s home as he continued to act like Gollum from Lord of the Rings.

“Transmission shifts quick. Better than the PDK. Downshifts are lazy as fuck. The 80ms upshifts are very impressive and gear changes are super crisp. Paddles feel like shit.”