Happy Birthday

Now you're one year older

Happy Birthday

Your life still isn't over

Happy Birthday

You did not accomplish much

But you didn't die this year

I guess that's good enough



So let's drink to your fading health and hope you don't remind yourself

Your chances of finding fame and wealth decrease with every year

Does it feel like you're doing laps and eating food and taking naps

And hoping that some day perhaps your life will hold some cheer



Happy Birthday

What have you done that matters?

Happy Birthday

You're starting to get fatter

Happy Birthday

It's downhill from now on

Try not to remind yourself

Your best years are all gone



If cryogenics were all free then you could live like Walt Disney

And live for all eternity inside a block of ice

But instead your time is set this is the only life you get

And though it hasn't ended yet sometimes you wish it might



Happy Birthday

You wish you had more money

Happy Birthday

Your life's so sad it's funny

Happy Birthday

How much more can you take

But your friends are hungry

So just cut the stupid cake

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