You will not Baleen this.

A family boating on the Puget Sound in late September called the police when a trio of whales was poking about beneath their vessel.

They called the cops.

On whales.

Darren Lucianna posted video of his family's encounter on Facebook where it quickly garnered thousands of views and nearly two dozen shares. But it wasn't until Twitter user @_SJPeace_ published the footage with captions that it went viral, amassing more than 1.5 million views since it was uploaded Monday.

I am dying 😂😂😂😂



This family called the cops on some whales 😂



I can't breathe 😂



RETWEET! pic.twitter.com/bIpvOAsS4f — StanceGrounded (@_SJPeace_) October 8, 2018

The video begins with the sounds of a woman apparently hyperventilating as one whale bubbles beneath the surface of the water. The bottom half of the frame captures the insides of the vessel, a 20 oz. Mountain Dew bobbing up and down in a cup holder alongside a water bottle as a man assures everyone onboard that things will be alright.

"He's just checking us out," the man says of the aquatic visitor.

Shortly afterward, another panicked voice chimes in.

"Oh my god. It's going under us," the person says. "You guys. You guys!"

The man continues reassuring passengers that everything is fine until somebody -- it sounds like a child's voice -- says "we're going to die."

As the panic-stricken passengers continue postulating that this may, indeed, be the end of the Lucianna family, the calm voice cuts across the video again, imploring his fellow boaters to take in the wondrous sight.

"Look at this you guys," the man says with awe. "You'll never see this again."

Alas, panic wins out in the end as a woman announces she's dialing 9-1-1.

"I'm out in Puget Sound and there's three gray whales right underneath our boat and I'm afraid we might get flipped over. I'm really scared," she says.

That's when the boat's motor starts up and the vessel begins moving away from the marine mammals. As voices implore the boat's navigator to "drive away faster," the creatures follow for a few moments.

The whales, apparently, were not quite done with the Lucianna family.

"Honey, don't be scared. This is awesome," the calm voice from before says.

But nobody's having it.

"Stupid whales. They're going to kills us," a panicked voice is heard saying as the boat "drives" farther and farther from the trio.

--Eder Campuzano | 503.221.4344

ecampuzano@oregonian.com