By Tarheel Slim

Even though I’m something of a lout; strip-club connoisseur; hater of streetcar bitches; witness to Listerine drunks falling on their face; G20 Agent Provocateur; hate-machine; small-time con; card-cheat; liar; philanderer; stooge; general loudmouth; bore; petty thief; Literary Outlaw; methadone addict; methadone dealer; and part-time bathhouse attendant—like many people, I have a soft spot for babies.

That’s why I see nothing to gripe about with Sunnybrook’s new Health Sciences Centre, a home for women and at-risk babies, a project nearly 20 years in development that opened Sept 12 in Toronto.

To save time in the exposition, I’ll quote Katie Hewitt from Friday’s Globe: “Moms and babies, some under two pounds, will be transferred Sept. 12 from their cramped quarters at Women’s College Hospital to the 120,000 square-foot Sunnybrook addition that features 20 private rooms and Canada’s largest breast-feeding clinic. Operating rooms have television monitors, so mom can watch her caesarean-section baby in the first moments of life, and even if resuscitation or intensive care requires it be treated in another room.”

Now, people are always going to argue about what we spend our tax dollars on. My pet peeve is all the cultural funding that goes to small shit towns. I feel culture needs a boost here and there for certain, particularly in the form of writing grants (this is pure self-interest.) I have a bit of a gripe with Telefilm, but were I a filmmaker I’m sure this would go away. I hate the small-town funding because it is simply a waste. The average theatrical productions is so poor, they’d be better off giving a bunch of stumble-bums a quart of Listerine, putting them on the bed of a pickup and seeing what they would put out there. I digress.

My point is…of all the government expenditures we might criticize, it seems a hospital that saves the lives of premature or critical babies would be a no-brainer. I can’t imagine the fear of a new parent whose child was born with the odds severely stacked against it. Anyone with an ounce of empathy would want these parents and these vulnerable little life-forms cared for to the best of our abilities.

But, for some, particularly a Toronto Sun commenter calling himself Huff (we assume, named such due to his proclivity for inhalant abuse,) the new Women and Babies Unit is just another example of misspent healthcare money: “Let me get this straight. 24 kids are now getting into the new 120,000-square foot facility at Sunnybrook Health Science Center. And the moms are there to help. First off, simple math shows that each kid is getting 5000 square feet of space. If the medical community thinks it needs that much space for one patient, no wonder our medical system is in such disarray.”

In fairness he was quickly shouted down in the comments. One astute observer said, “You don’t just take the square footage and divide it and that’s how much room each baby gets fool; do you think the other services provided in the facility are not critical? Some of these babies would otherwise die without these services. In this case–your simple math just isn’t very effective. Maybe you should learn more complex math.”

The unit has been designed with the comfort of new mothers in mind, providing every amenity possible for people who are going through the toughest time of their lives. Staff is thrilled after a complex move on September 12 that required one nurse and one parent for each baby that had to be transferred.

As expectant mother Andrea Van Wierengan blogged at http://motherstouch.sunnybrook.ca/:

“Upon first entering the maternity ward, I immediately notice the spaciousness and all of the natural light that flows in through the windows. The walls are painted calming colours, while all of the furniture is welcoming and comfortable.

The triage room (where you go when first in labour to check in) is fantastic. There are separate little rooms (unlike Women’s College where the beds are separated only by a curtain) and lots of space. There is also a dimly lit room for reading/relaxing that has a working fireplace (not real – but very cool) adorning the wall. If I went into labour (which lucky for me, my scheduled c-section will hopefully rule that out) this is the place I would want to be….and I probably wouldn’t want to leave.

But wait – it gets better. The private rooms (and I think they are all mostly private) are unbelievable! They are huge!!!!! I really can’t even tell you how big they are! These rooms are nicely decorated and feature flat screen televisions, a wall of huge windows, and a massive washroom – some of which feature Jacuzzi tubs -meant for labouring and water birth.

I was also very anxious to see the operating rooms because I know I’ll be there in just a few weeks. When I laid eyes on one of them I was truly blown away. There is a bright scene spanning the ceiling that depicts a blue sky, white clouds, and treetops. This is what I’ll be looking at while my c-section is taking place. How amazing is that??? ”