You have all heard the phrase “One person’s craziness is another person’s reality” right? Well, if not you have now and that’s the phrase that got my gears turning today.

What is reality anyways? I guess a loose definition would be the actual world in which a person lives. Thing is though, is that world is perceived differently by each individual living in it. Kinda ties into the question about is the glass half full or half empty debate. One person may perceive the world around them as a beautiful place full of wonder and new adventures at every turn. While another, sees the world as a dark, scary place full of dangers lurking in the shadows just waiting for their chance to reach out and grab another victim. Pretty different huh? So, in all actuality, “reality” is dependant on who you’re talking to. Reality….is actually an illusion created by each individual’s minds, and if illusions are tricks played on the mind….reality is not actually real….is it?

Actually, this illusion is real to the person who is living it, therefore, to me, it is real. It is what is real to that person. A child just knows that there is a creature living in the closet just waiting for the right time to jump out and gobble him/her up….to that child, that monster is real, that is that child’s reality. A veteran (Gods bless our troops!!) who has come home from war hears a car backfire and immediately hits the deck because he knows it’s gun fire and if he wants to live to fight another day, he needs to find cover to protect himself….that is his reality.

What is my reality? My reality is knowing that the man I love could just snap one day and turn into a monster if I don’t “act right”. It’s worrying that if I don’t do certain things, I’m not good enough for him. It’s if I don’t keep the house clean enough and supper is not cooked just right when he gets home from work, I’m a terrible fiance and mother. It’s knowing that absolutely none of these illusions are true and working hard every day to change them.

My reality is looking at my son and daughter while thinking to myself “Please don’t continue the cycle of violence, let it stop with me. Know that you are worth so much more and you’re better than that”. It’s seeing my ex Steve and having that same knot of fear, hatred, disgust, and attraction in my stomach and having no way to stop or truly understand any of it. My reality is fighting off the depression and feelings of being worthless that try to keep me from simply getting out of bed each day. It’s reminding myself that I have a backbone, there is nothing wrong with having a backbone, and I deserve my backbone.

My reality is an illusion of an illusion. Maybe that’s why I need medication and therapy….and it explains why that quote got me to thinking.

“One person’s craziness is another person’s reality.”

“It only takes a single spark to start a fire, but that fire needs fuel.”

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