(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer)

In a strongly worded rebuke, the nation’s uncles have reprimanded the media for their failure in giving them updates about ‘that Czech model’.

“You know exactly the one we’re talking about” they said, referring to Miss Tereza Hluskova, a Czech model arrested at Lahore’s Allama Iqbal International airport for smuggling drugs.

The uncles expressed anger over the overshadowing of news regarding the Czech model by the constant barrage of political coverage the media has been feeding them.

“Do you think we don’t see what you’re trying to do by not telling us the latest updates regarding that Czech model? This is a story of national importance for God’s sake!” said the nation’s uncles.

“Every time we turn on the television it is Imran Khan this, or Saqib Nisar that. Stop distracting us with this crap because this media blackout won’t work” they added.

“I mean, we aren’t even asking for much, just a follow up. Where is she now? How is she doing? Is there any way to contact her? Is she single?” they went on to ask, calming down a little as their families all told them to watch their anger lest their blood pressures rise.

Just . . just a follow up is all we’re asking. We’re worried is all” they went on to say as they collectively popped a couple canderel into their teas.

“It started with certain media outlets, and we took that in stride because it was expected of those stooges, but then it spread to all of them” they complained.

“It’s this ganju gang patwaris paying off the media we swear to God. They just don’t want us to know the truth anymore.”

“Even Whatsapp has been quiet on this lately. If it stops there too . . what . . . what then?” they audibly whispered in horror.

“Even City 42 wont report it anymore, and they report everything!”