By Guillermo O'Rourke

Power Rankings, based largely on an accumulation of data.

The first week of the 2017 MLS season is kaput and boy did it live up to the hype! Minnesota United and Portland Timbers combined for six goals (five of them Portland's) to kick off the campaign and six other teams combined for three scoreless draws! SEATTLE SOUNDERS FC opened up their title defense with a loss to last year's second-to-last-place team and former FIFA World Player of the Year Kaka played 11 whole minutes before going down with a hamstring injury that will sideline him for the next six weeks!

And of course, a certain World's Greatest Team put on a vintage (2016) performance against the rival Bridgeview Fire, which warmed thousands of the Black & Gold faithful on a frigid afternoon in MAPFRE Stadium. See who's making moves in this week's Power Rankings!

22a. NYCFC supporters

It's one thing to steal seats from away stadiums (we assume they're using them to try to build their own), but attacking a cop? Jamokes like that are the reason we can't have nice things.

22b. Minnesota United FC

The Loons' first MLS match went about as well as our "Fargo" accent would go over in the Twin Cities. Yer darn tootin' it was a massacre!

20. Bridgeview Fire