Malkovich (Jon Jafari) introduces viewers to his public-access television show, "Malkovich's Gaming Guilty Pleasures." He explains the importance of gaming in modern society, where fax machines and mad bosses can lead to stress, and describes how games are a legal outlet for stress as opposed to rape, which is not a liable option and which also landed his friend (Austin Hargrave) in jail. After drinking some expired milk, Malkovich reveals the N64 console.



Malkovich's choice of game is "Super Mario 64." Playing as Mario, he is tasked with finding the child of a mother penguin. He finds a baby penguin immediately and, criticizing the obliviousness of the mother penguin, quotes a bit of wisdom from his own mother, Danka Chevchnov. But upon giving the baby to the mother, she says it is not her child. Malkovich instead drops the baby penguin off a cliff. He then comes across the real baby, but he drops this one off the cliff too.



Malkovich then proceeds to his live call-in segment. His ...