Religious Copouts

Any time someone writes something critical of religion they will get one of two different responses: apologetics and/or copouts. If a religion needs apologetics then it was clearly not created by “the most intelligent thing ever” and can be ignored. Religious copouts are appeals to magical forces or the issue being some failure on the doubter’s part that cannot be proven and removes the burden of proof from the commenter. Here are some of the ones I see often and annoy me the most:

You’ve already been given all the evidence you need.

Then why the hell am I asking for more?

Then why the hell am I asking for more? You weren’t sincere enough in your prayers.

How can anyone make that kind of judgment? Are these people suddenly psychic? Do they know they can make $1,000,000 for that over at the Jame Randi Educational Foundation?

How can anyone make that kind of judgment? Are these people suddenly psychic? Do they know they can make $1,000,000 for that over at the Jame Randi Educational Foundation? You have to believe first and then you’ll see the evidence.

I can no more make myself believe without evidence in a god then I could that there are communist reptilians controlling the U.N. I’m not capable of believing without an acceptable amount of evidence.

I can no more make myself believe without evidence in a god then I could that there are communist reptilians controlling the U.N. I’m not capable of believing without an acceptable amount of evidence. God hides the true message of the scripture from you unless you have the holy ghost.

Let me get this straight. The only way to become a Christian is to read your bible, and the only way to read your bible is to be a Christian. That’s real smart.

Let me get this straight. The only way to become a Christian is to read your bible, and the only way to read your bible is to be a Christian. That’s real smart. God is talking to you, but you aren’t listening.

I’m listening as best as I can, if that’s not good enough for your god then I guess I’m just screwed.

I’m listening as best as I can, if that’s not good enough for your god then I guess I’m just screwed. Your heart is hardened against God.

No, I’m just a skeptic and I don’t have the burden of proof. You do.

No, I’m just a skeptic and I don’t have the burden of proof. You do. I’ll pray for you.

This usually pops up when the believer has exhausted all of their arguments and just wants to throw out a final passive-aggressive “fuck you”. My usual response is “and I’ll think for you”.

I’ve very likely missed some “good” copouts so if you come up with one put it in the comments.