That noise you hear is the sound of Hollywood scraping the bottom of the barrel. Of all the things in the world and beyond to adapt, there’s an Untitled Lenny Dykstra Biopic in the works. Giving life to this odd story is news that The Blind Side and The Rookie director John Lee Hancock is now attached to direct. One of these things is not like the other, as two of the films are uplifting dramas pulled from real life stories in the world of sports while the other is about a convicted felon. Sure, Dykstra was a great college ball player and will be best remembered for his walk-off homer in Game 3 of the 1986 World Series for the Mets, but is his story really the most worthy of a feature film? Hit the jump for more.

As Variety reports, Lee Hancock will direct the untitled Lenny Dykstra biopic. Plot details remain under wraps, so it remains to be seen whether the film will focus on his glory days on the baseball field from college to the majors, or his more criminal activities off the field after he retired in 1996. Pleading guilty to bankruptcy fraud, concealment of assets and money laundering, Dykstra was sentenced to six months in prison, 500 hours of community service, and was ordered to pay $200,000 in restitution. After confirming that producer Gil Netter had acquired his film rights, Dykstra “suggested that either Matt Damon or Mark Wahlberg portray him in the film.” Hilarious considering that Dykstra’s Mets beat the Boston Red Sox in the ’86 World Series.

You want to make a Dykstra pic? Fine. I’m sure he still has his fans, and I’ll reserve final judgment for the finished film itself. But Sandy Koufax, Nolan Ryan, or Jim Abbott would make a much more compelling biopic than this hard-hitting, steroid-using criminal. I’d rather see a reboot of Major League.