Some of you are probably scratching your heads, thinking “What the Hell?”

Allow me to explain:

Harry Houdini, nee Ehrich Weiss (Sort of rhymes with “Jesus Christ”), was Jewish and born on March 24th, about the same time of year that Jesus would have been born (if he existed).

Houdini was, as almost everyone knows, a legendary magician. One of his famous tricks involved being locked inside a water-filled milk can from which he would miraculously escape. Legend has it that he could dematerialize and reappear outside the can, but legends are full of crap as it was just a clever mechanical trick. All magic are just tricks like, you know, turning water into wine.

Jesus rose from the grave but once, but Harry rose from the grave three times. The first time he was buried under six feet of real dirt and it almost killed him. This is the kind of stunt that’s impressive only if you manage to walk away from it.

When Houdini’s mother died he attempted to contact her through the use of spiritualists but all he found were frauds and cheap theatrics, leading him to devote time and money in exposing them. Yet he still believed in the afterlife and promised, after his death, to contact the living on October 31st, if he could. He hasn’t yet, at least that we know of.

As for being betrayed by a disciple, Houdini was a muy macho kinda guy who liked to say he could take a punch — so the “betrayal” part of this equation involved a burly fan punching Houdini in the stomach several times before he’d properly prepared himself. A week later, Houdini died of peritonitis as a result of a ruptured appendix. There’s some argument that a punch can’t actually cause a ruptured appendix, but we’ll never know for sure in this case.

Unequivocally, though, both Halloween and Easter have Pagan origins and both involve candy. I like those Pagans.



