We all know that you have to speak differently at work than we likely do in our personal lives. Whether you’re in food service or work in a corporate office, there’s a certain amount of politeness that is necessary in order to do the job properly, no matter how furious you might be at any given moment. This can lead to some weird moments.

The phenomenon was noticed by writer Delia Paunescu, who asked her followers to share their “most insufferable work gibberish phrases.”

i've recently become obsessed with all the insane corporate ways we say normal things to each other.



"I’m a little confused" is by far my favorite - it's absolute rage masked as a professional pleasantry.



what are some of your best/most insufferable work gibberish phrases? — delia paunescu (@delia_p) January 29, 2020

The post caught on like fire, gaining over 8,000 comments and 95,000 likes since Wednesday. Apparently, this issue speaks to people—particularly those who have worked in an office far too long for their own good.

Paunescu herself shared her favorite phrase, “I’m a little confused,” characterizing it as “absolute rage masked as a professional pleasantry.”

In the age of email especially, people rely on corporate pleasantries often in order to hint at anger or frustration while completely avoiding outright expression of those feelings, meaning emails can be a minefield of passive aggression. Many of the responses involved common email phrases, and reading through them might give you a panic attack if you’ve used any of them without knowing the secret meaning.

Apparently, signing an email with “regards” is equivalent to giving the middle finger? Oh dear. Here are some of the best/worst examples of the work speak we all use and hate:

1.

My two are “I’ve attached another copy to this email for your convenience.” (Translation: I know you’re going to buy yourself time by claiming you lost the previous file.) and “Thanks in advance.” (Translation: No, you don’t have a choice.) — Telaryn (@telaryn) January 29, 2020

2.

“I’m sorry; I think my email/statement probably wasn’t clear. Hopefully this helps” = you’re either stupid or deliberately ignored what I said/asked. — Naima Cochrane (@naima) January 29, 2020

3.

Stealing from somewhere but it’s true: “I hope this helps!”=never ask me for anything ever again — Lala Escargot, collector of curses 🎉 (@guitarpsichord) January 29, 2020

4.

“Thank you for your feedback! I’ll be sure to keep it in mind!” <- your criticism is completely irrelevant if not flat out wrong and you know less on the topic than the back end of a donkey, but I have to pretend like I at least considered your opinion. — FerretXilla (@FerretXilla) January 29, 2020

5.

6.

“As previously discussed” = I didn’t put in writing last time because I thought you were an adult. — Mitch Dinkins (@MitchDinkins) January 29, 2020

7.

“While I understand your urgency…”

=

“Procrastination on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.” — Bärí A. Williams (@BariAWilliams) January 29, 2020

8.

‘In the future, please correspond directly with (..) on this issue’ = Do not, I repeat, do not message me about this bullsh*t again. No, seriously, do not CC, BCC or look this way again. I’m not playing. 😑 — Chevron Summers (@DPMCanty) January 29, 2020

9.

“Just circling back on this” = “I just need you do answer. A goddamn ‘yes’ or ‘no’ will do, JUST ANSWER.” — Alisha Grauso (@AlishaGrauso) January 29, 2020

10.

“Just want to make sure everyone is on the same page”= y’all are shit talking behind each other’s backs constantly and I think you’re both assholes — Jessica Ellis (@baddestmamajama) January 29, 2020

11.

My personal favorite is the Shit Sandwich; Positive/“Shit”/Positive. “Hey Karen, thank you for the great work you did on those spread sheets! The formatting was a little hard to read and we need to look over the last couple lines. Your outfit today though? On POINT” — Lady Giv (@givdesigns) January 30, 2020

12.

“I’m balancing a lot this week” = “Just a quick reminder that I’m not your employee.” — David Gibb (@DaveWritesJunk) January 29, 2020

13.

"the ways in which you have messed up are so vast, i need to make a list" — delia paunescu (@delia_p) January 29, 2020

14.

“I’ll let you two take it from here.” = “I’m not a part of this and don’t want to be.” — Alisha Grauso (@AlishaGrauso) January 29, 2020

15.

“I’m sorry, I was on mute, can you repeat the question?” = I wasn’t listening at all — Hannah Mulford (@HannahMulford) January 29, 2020

16.

Two from this very morning: “Thanks for looping me in” = You should’ve come to me 27 emails ago and I would’ve saved you 26 emails, dummy. “In future, please [do X different thing]” = In future we won’t be interacting because you’re dead to me. — Hipster Viking Amy (@lasrina) January 29, 2020

17.

“Please copy everyone on our team” because you keep sending work requests to me alone on my day off. — Berni Phillips (@bernip) January 29, 2020

18.

“If I could just play devil’s advocate for a minute” = your idea is the king of bad ideas I can’t believe you suggested it. — Sherry Pagoto (@DrSherryPagoto) January 29, 2020

19.

“Just to clarify” = I’m gonna ask this question again, simpler this time, so you can see exactly how stupid what you’re asking me to do is. — Charlie Bressler (@ghost_Mk1) January 29, 2020

20.

“We’re going to have to table this conversation for now.” We’re literally never going to discuss this again. — ᴀʜᴍᴀᴅ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇss (@AhmadChildress) January 29, 2020

21.

I have nightmares about hearing “Team, let’s make sure we’re all aligned.” — Samantha Rosen (@samantharosen_) January 29, 2020

22.

“I don’t recall if I told you” from your supervisor is code for “I think I forgot to have you do something that the bigger bosses need done and they just yelled at me about it. Please save me.” — SpinsterAunt (@Wrong_Pines) January 29, 2020

23.

“I recall this quite differently,” is how I call someone a bald, two-faced liar and snake. — Melanie Dione (@themelaniedione) January 29, 2020

24.

“With all due respect” Narrator: There was no respect — Bruce Bateman Esq (@sugabillionaire) January 30, 2020

25.