September 10, 2018

so f@cking clueless they have no idea how the Door works. No they don't. And yet it does work. Why? How? Oh believe me, this is good: so here we have this bunch of pathetic idiots working on this Door project for years. It wasn't working. They expected the government to cut their funding and one night decided to drown their misery in alcohol. Someone got an old book out. Copied some equations from the book in the computer program that ran the Door. And tada! We have a highly functioning Door, ladies and gentlemen! [Because the supposed scientists in this story arethey have no idea how the Door works. No they don't. And yet it does work. Why? How? Oh believe me, this is good: so here we have thisworking on this Door project for years. It wasn't working. They expected the government to cut their funding and one night. Someone got an old book out. Copied some equations from the book in the computer program that ran the Door.We have a highly functioning Door, ladies and gentlemen! (hide spoiler)

very evil, bad-intentioned, murderous aliens –oops, excuse me, they are called Alpha Predators here (ooooh, I'm so scared right now) – –oops, excuse me, they are called Alpha Predators here (ooooh, I'm so scared right now) – (hide spoiler)

This book is on sale attoday. I wouldn't buy it if I were you, but hey, it's your life and your money, and you are supposedly free to waste both as you please so be my guest and stuff. You are quite welcome 💥❣❣who were silly enough to give this book 4 and 5-star ratings: I love you. Despite your spectacular. Yes, this is officially the worst Science Fiction book I have ever read. The only thing I liked about it? The premise. And to be honest, I'm not even sure why I'm giving this two stars when it doesn't deserve more than one. This has to be the stupidest, most ridiculous, most uninteresting SF story ever written and a disgrace to the genre.Maybe. But you know what? I don’t care. Because this is a total travesty. And a badly written, juvenile one at that. This book right here is the perfect script for one of thoseyou see on TV. And I wouldn’t be surprised if it was made into one of those brainless Hollywood blockbusters *fingers start itching* *fingers start hovering uncontrollably over the 1-star button*Good question. The characters? The story? Both? I'm not sure actually. Let's see what we have here:. Mike is an uber genius. Mike’s IQ would make Stephen Hawking feel like a total nitwit. Mike is super cool. Mike looks like Professor Snape (I'm not even making this up, it's the author's very own, brilliant idea). Mike ishe has figurative ants crawling around in his head. Not just your regular, boring, black ants either. He has red ants crawling around, too.. Mike's ants are so Freaking Awesome they process all the data that comes into Mike's Freakingly Amazing Brain. And believe me, that's a whole lot of data. Because Mikey here has an eidetic memory, meaning he remembers in detail everything he's ever heard, seen or experienced. Man, do Mikey's ants have their work cut out for them.. He cannot stop writing about them. I got so tired of hearing about the Freaking Ants that I even considered pulverizing them into oblivion. Then it occurred to me that using bug spray on my Kindle might not be such a great idea after all. Although I must admit that. Do you know what's really really cool about Mikey here? He's an undercover genius. Yes he is. He keeps his mind-blowing mental abilities so well-hidden you would never tell he's got a 1000+ IQ. I mean,. And don't get me started on his conversations with his friend Reggie (who is supposedly pretty intelligent himself since he runs a super top secret DARPA program). Let me tell you,. But Leland sucks. Leland is not cool. Back when he was in high school some people started calling Leland Mike. Because Mike is short for Mycroft. As in Mycroft Holmes, of course.. Mr Cline, could you please try and refrain from insulting Mr Conan Doyle in the future?, is Leland-Mike-Mycroft-Bloody-Hell-I’m-So-Freaking-Cool-Erikson for you.. They are nothing but a sketchy, one-dimensional, paper-thin bunch of walking stereotypes. And they're, too. Yes, pathetic and idiotic. Because alcoholic reasons, amongst many other things. But more on that later. My favourite unlikeable character? Oooh, that's a tough one. Let me think for a minute here…: sometimes she says 'fuck,' sometimes she says 'me.' Most times she says 'fuck me.' When finding herself in particularly dire circumstances she might even go as far as saying 'fuck me hard.' Yes, Sasha really is a delightful girl. A real poet, that one. But let me tell you,, the ex-cheerleader turned hacker/geek/computer genius. Jamie is hot, Jamie is cool, Jamie is brilliantly clever.►►. The first 40% of the book are completely superfluous. Nothing happens. Apart maybe from Mikey's adventures in dining and trailer furnishing. And the author rehashing howdear Mikey is. And let's not forget about the crawling ants. Oh no, we can't forget about the ants. Well even if you wanted to forget about them, you wouldn't be able too. Mr Cline wouldn't allow it. Anyway, the first part of the book?. Then I must admit it gets pretty good for about 10%. But then it goes downhill. Fast., I was expecting to read about scientific facts here. I mean this, after all, is supposed to be-fiction. 'Supposed' being the key word here. Does the author give us an explanation on how the Door works? Nah!Cline obviously decided science was overrated. Or maybe he was just too lazy to try and give technical/scientific substance to his story. Still,. Because there is an actual reason why he doesn't explain a thing about the Door. And this is where my beloved pathetic, idiotic scientists come in. (view spoiler) the most pathetic plot device ever, I don't know what it is. Well done, Mr Cline. I'm awarding you with the. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. You never learn, don't you? It can ALWAYS get worse. And it ALWAYS does. Sigh. You see,, Mr Cline decided to throw in a bunch of (view spoiler) for good measure.How neat! Just what we needed to turn this intoNo! It gets even worse! Because who better than the (view spoiler) to save the day?►►My personal ants are trying to come up with a word to define it all. But they're not Mikey's super charged bugs so it takes them time to process the little data inside my little head.. Oh, here it is! LAME is the word. Lame, lame, lame. And CLICHED. Yes, that too.I have now come to the conclusion that there is no way in hell I can give this story a 2-star rating. No, that is just not possible. So 1-star it is.: what have you been smoking lately? Must be good quality stuff! Then again you might not have been smoking anything and just thought this wasbad, hence the shelving. Now that would make a lot more sense.❣❣who were silly enough to give this book 4 and 5-star ratings: I insist. I love you despite your spectacular lack of judgement. You, on the otherafter reading this review. But that's okay. I forgive you.["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>