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please note "Jeffer" in the subject or body of your donation. Twinkle While you were asleep

Pulled my hood to block the light from the TV

Turned the volume up to distract me from constant noises

Leaking under the apartment door

It doesn't help

I get up and I crawl out and don't hear more

Make a barricade of full trash bags and empty boxes

Perched behind them, closely watching While you were asleep

On the couch, watching a movie, smoking weed

Rummaging through the utensils in the kitchen counter,

In the drainer, which one's sharper.

When the light creeps in

loosen my grip and crawl back into my bed.

Your alarm is set to go off in a half an hour.

Eyes closed. Fake snore. None the wiser. Victoria made me happy

Now I can only be scared

And people tell me that time can fix the wound.

But that's crap.

'Cause she's not coming back

And life's unfair. I'm always anxious and worried.

I'm always freaked out and scared.

And people tell me that time can fix the wound.

But that's crap.

Vicki's not coming back. And I scream, "Why did I get left behind?"

I know it's an exaggeration

to say I would rather die than

share this place with people capable

of inspiring such fear and hopelessness

that I'm frozen in my bed...

but that sums it up. Teenage halloween

Hot safety pins in nozzles of shaving cream

Spend the evening spraying cars, toilet papering houses

What's the harm in smashing pumpkins? Decades on, with kids

And I don't let them go out past dark.

I sit on the front porch with a shotgun

While they're upstairs sleeping.

Total darkness.

Love. Protection. Dishes (Pulp Cover) wrong lyrics by jeff rosenstock I am not Jesus though I have the same initials -

I am the man who stays home and does the dishes.

& how was your day?

Is that woman still trying to do your head in?

A man told me to beware of 33.

He said, "It was not an easy time for me" but I'll get through even though

I've got no miracles to show you. I'd like to make this water wine

but it's impossible.

I've got to get these dishes dry. I'll read a story if it helps you sleep at night.

I've got some matches if you ever need a light.

Oh I am just a man

but I am doing what I can to help you. And I'm not worried that I will never touch the stars

'cause stars belong up in heaven

And the earth is where we are.

Oh yeah. And I feel happy just to be alive.

And that seems possible.

You've got no Cross to bear tonight. Ah

No not tonight, Ah.

No not tonight, Ah.

I am not Jesus though I have the same initials. The Trash The Trash The Trash Worried about the rodents and maggots in the trash

So I won't empty the trash.

So I won't empty the trash. Worried about the moldy dishes

And spiders in the drain

So I won't do no dishes today

And I won't eat no dinner today

And I won't write no letters today. Freaked out by the roaches

And I don't like to spray them

'Cause I don't like to spray them

I just stay out of the kitchen. It's not bad.

It's not like somebody died.

In five years, it'll be out of your mind

But I can't seem to feel alive today. You're standing on the side of the road.

I'm circlin' the block.

Killin' time. I feel like I'm lost and alone.

Circlin' the block kills time.

I won't empty the trash, the trash, the trash. It's not bad.

It's not like somebody died.

We're all sad but we're probably fine

Even if we just don't feel alright today. You're standing on the side of the road.

I'm circlin' the block.

Killin' time. You're waiting and I turned off my phone.

Circlin' the block kills time.

I won't empty the trash, the trash, the trash. Snow Charges There's a patch shimmering under the sky

On the south corner of Bushwick, on the residential side

And I'm afraid I'll slip. Most days when it's cloudy and all nights I stay inside

But it's 2:30 on New Years' Day and outside it's looking bright

And I could use some chips and a bottle of soda

For my quest to rescue Zelda. Trying to be brave, I touched the puddle to my tongue

And within a millisecond the bottom of my face went numb

And no one on the street knew anything was wrong. So I tried to wave my arms to find that they were frozen too

And I tried to run away, my legs felt like they were stuck in clue

And I started to hear a storm. Through my ears poured freezing rain

And it froze my freezing brain. A handful of neighbors gathered underneath the awning

of the laundromat 200 feet from the front door of my building

And it smacked my like a pinball

And it crushed me like a wrecking ball

I was swallowed by a cold duvet

And the kids are gonna have a snow day. I couldn't bear to find out how the story was gonna end

So I closed my eyes and went to sleep and no one found me dead

'Cause everybody stayed inside 'til March. And a patch of flowers grew out of the concrete where I lied

Some boy picked a dandelion to give to a girl he liked

And she gave him a kiss that warmed his lonely heart. Now they hold each other tight

And stay in on winter nights. 80's Through the 50's Miles away and I can't seem to shake the smell of your car in 2003: beach air, bad tunes, stale smoke and junk food. Tell her to stay and you'll scare her away. Staying the same just makes everything change. I'm plowing right through friends I don't talk to. Seasons seem to see me sliding out of view. 80's through the 50's. Breezes make me think of you and I'll count down the days just like I count down before I go away. I'm owning up to not being there for you. Seasons seem to see me sliding out of view. 80's through the 50's. Breezes make me think of you when you see me sliding out of view. It got chilly this Saturday and with my hands in my pockets I walked around in circles like "Oh no, I'm totally fucked." It's one thing to grow old but I'm collecting dust. 'Cause nobody needs me.

Nobody needs me.

Nobody needs me the way that I need you. Little Blue Pills Little blue pills

Bottles of codeine lying

On the shelf at dawn.

Sleeping soundly

With traffic gently humming

Down the boulevard. I hate the morning light

Because with every night

A little earlier

It seems to get too bright

It squeezes through the blinds

Dissolves into my eyes

And I hate the sunny side. Calling good friends

And calling total strangers

Meet me at the bar.

Throw the card down

And leave the fucker open

Like I turned twenty-one. And when it's dark inside

I'll take a taxi ride

Down to the eastern side

Before it gets too bright

I pull the curtains down

I let my head spin round

And my ears ring over the sound.

My ears ring over the sound. I upped the dosage and cleared my bank account 'til everything was gone.

Now the circles around my eyes grow wider.

The lights are always on.

And every single night

I hold the covers tight

Until I toss and turn

And see the creeping light

I turn things off and on and on and off and on. And I sleep for fifteen minutes like an infant 'til alarm clocks buzz

Through the cracks of the windows from the neighboring apartment until I wake up

So I'll slip next paycheck into bottles brown and amber 'til it's all gone

So I'll sleep next paycheck with the fitful fucking terror 'til it's all gone. The Internet Is Everywhere. I want you to know I'm glad you're not dead.

All the hate in my heart has gone out of my head.

It took me some time but I understand

That I made enemies where I should have made friends,

'Cause it's way too much work to hate your old friends. I want you to know that I'll be alright

If you feel like I do and you're over the fight

Sure, there are times when I can't get by

But show me a person who always feels fine

And I'll show you a lying sack of shit. But oh, I know

I wouldn't think about me too

But the smallest things make me remember you

And it's hard when I know we were such good friends

And it's hard when I know that we can never be friends. There are times when I miss my friends

When I look through old pictures

Think about you again.

And I hope that you're happy that I'm not dead

And we both ended up kinda okay in the end. Bonus Oceans Yeah, I've got friends who wanna catch up on old times

But that just makes me feel ashamed to be me.

And I've got friends who wanna relive the past

And deify memories

And they just scream to me That if you don't die young

You're gonna live too long. On the stoop of the apartment next to my shitty job

An old friend passed me on the street today

I said "Hello" and tried to catch up on old times

She walked the other way. Maybe I seemed to scream

That if I got cancer or somebody shot me

I'd be like a child or something,

Asking doctors to do me favors

or cross my fingers and hope it gets better

Like a broken record, I seem to scream,

If you don't die young, you're gonna live too long. I was getting drunk in a foreign ocean

Trying to wrap my head around problems

And all my bitterness just seemed passe. Because I realized as soon as I said it

How long it'd take to swim from Jones Beach to Indonesia

And maybe you're waiting on a call from me. And maybe you're working in a crowded restaurant

And you're the one who's got a life so fucked up

that you don't know what happened. Just like you saw me working at some restaurant

Embarrassed 'cause my life was just so fucked up.

And I don't know how it happened. Amen Waiting to go to school on some suburban road

They took my backpack and emptied it in the snow

The kids at the bus stop screamed nothing. I saw an old lady one time on Astor Place

steal an old man's glasses and punch him in the face

Me and the others screamed nothing. And what's the difference if the bombs fall from the sky

And what's the difference if you like being alive

Yeah what's the difference, 'cause we're all just gonna die. A crucifix and two framed pictures of the pope

I passed them all as I got evicted from my home.

My Catholic landlord screamed "Amen." We don't believe in God or spirits in the sky.

Unless we're desperate and need to justify

the shitty things we do so we apologize

"Ya gotta get rid of my guilt, God." Before I fled the scene I smeared my shit along the baseboards

Took the moldy foodstuffs, lined them up along the tile floor

Jerked off on the window screen, fridge open and toilet running

Barely felt reprieve before the deluge of regret came flooding Now I can't get to sleep because I have this useless conscience.

And I can't get revenge due to this stupid moral compass.

And honestly I feel that all these feelings aren't worth it in the end. We don't believe in God or spirits in the sky

Unless we're desperate or know someone who died.

We gain perspective and we start to change our lives

Then still do shitty things when the moment arrives.

So what's the difference if the bombs fall from the sky

So what's the difference if you like being alive

Yeah what's the fucking point of thinking as you die

"Ya gotta forgive all my sins, God." I Don't Wanna Die (Ging Nang Boyz Cover) phonetics and rough translation by bob vielma, incorrect lyrics by jeff rosenstock junjo karen na kimi o kimochi yoku shitai

junjo karen na kimi o gucha gucha ni shitai

junjo karen na kimi o hundari kettari

junjo karen na kimi no shotai wa maho tsukai I don't wanna die

I don't wanna die

I know I'm gonna die. junjo karen na kimi to annin dofu tabetai

junjo karen na kimi to Weezer kikitai

junjo karen na kimi to shuriken nagetai

junjo karen na kimi no kakei wa maho tsukai I don't wanna die

I don't wanna die

ai wa donnan dai koi no jumon tonae naide yo

boku wa mo kimi no koto shika mienaku naru yo

JESUS! YES YES YES YES YES

dakishimetai

dakishimetai

dakishimetai

kowareru hodo oppekepe

oppekepe

oshibe to meshibe wa oppekepe koi no jumon tonae naide yo (koi no jumon tonae naide yo)

rabu rabu shiru haranaide kure yo

boku wa mo hone ni naru made kisu shimakuru yo

JESUS! YES YES YES YES YES

dakishimetai

dakishimetai

dakishimetai

kowareru hodo ---------------------------- Rough translation:

I wanna make pure and sweet you feel good

I wanna get sloppy with pure and sweet you

I wanna mess up pure and sweet you

pure and sweet you are a sorceress I don't wanna die x2

I know I'm gonna die I wanna eat almond tofu with pure and sweet you

I wanna listen to Weezer with pure and sweet you

I wanna throw ninja stars with pure and sweet you

pure and sweet you hail from a lineage of sorcerers I don't wanna die x2

What the hell is love? don't cast a love spell on me

I already can't look at anything else but you Yes x5

I want to hold you x3

until you break It's no good!!

It's no good!!

I can't make it better!! Its no good!! don't cast a love spell on me

Don't stick a love love sticker on me

I'm already going to smother you in kisses until I'm dead Yes x5

I want to hold you x3

until you break

