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Thereâs something perversely erotic about bedding someone who represents all the pride of womanhood. Itâs kind of like sleeping with Susan B. Anthony. In a word, HOT.

Her powers include super durability and endurance. That will be a great match for your 18-second sexual hangtime.

She insists on wearing the tiara, boots and armlets in bed.

That lasso of truth could be dangerous, especially considering the fact that Wonder Woman is easily capable of ripping you into two bloody boy-chunks.

As an immortal goddess descended from a race of divine beings, sheâs probably all entitled and shit.

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1. Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

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Sheâs the only woman on this list who publicly states that the only thing she wants from a man is a sense of humor. A sense of humor, for reference, is the human quality of appreciating and creating comedy, as in the sentence: âThat humor writer Michael Swaim sure has a sense of humor.â Iâll be waiting, Jessica.

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She could wear my wristwatch as a belt, yet her bust would give my elastic muumuu a run for its money. Because as we all know, thereâs nothing sexier than a woman whoâs so thin that sheâs essentially deformed.

Sheâs not just married, but happily married to a cartoon knock-off of Bugs Bunny. Judging from the film, thereâs not a lot of hope of breaking them up either. At least, not without obtaining some dip, and Iâm pretty sure Christopher Lloyd used the last of it to power the Delorian at the end of Back to the Future III.

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âThe only thing I wonder about that woman is whether sheâll let me have sex with her.âBatman. Batman Batman Batman. In fact, this is the only entry on this list where Iâm kind of more attracted to the subsidiary recommendation than the primary one. After all, Wonder Womanâs just a beautiful goddess from beyond the stars. Batman is Batman.Okay, itâs actually a movie, but it did come out in the 80âs. And when it did, it represented not just the pinnacle of sexy cartoon ladies, but their uncomfortable emergence into the world of actual eroticism. Iâm pretty sure there were just as many dads sweating to frames of Jessica as there were kids wondering why they were no longer concerned about the dangers of cooties at all.Jessica Rabbit, a cartoon character so arousing she gets visible rises out of several of the filmâs live action characters. Whatâs more, she did it all without ever changing her clothes and with what appear to be two amphibious slits where her nose should be.âJessica Rabbit, please have sex with me.âTo my mind, Eddie Valiant is the clear choice. He may not have the spontaneity or physical elasticity of Roger, or the tall, dark and handsome qualities of Judge Doom, but he does have one thing going for him that they donât: a real, live, honest to goodness penis. And that puts him well ahead of every other man on this list. Hereâs to you, Eddie.When not examining the details of his own perversions, Michael serves as head writer for and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!