It was supposed to be a Comedy Central roast of Rob Lowe — but that was before everyone found out that Ann Coulter was joining the dais Saturday. As a result, most of the night’s best jokes were directed at the conservative commentator, not the 52-year-old man-of-honor who looked rather neglected in his center stage chair.

Even Coulter couldn’t help but call out the irony during the pre-taped event that’ll air on Labor Day: “I want to welcome everybody to the Ann Coulter roast with Rob Lowe.”

Held on the Sony lot outside of Hollywood Saturday, the Lowe roast featured first-time participants like Peyton Manning, Jewel, Nikki Glaser, and Ralph Macchio, who (predictably) made fun of Lowe’s old sex tape and his myriad TV failures. But everyone — Jeffrey Ross, Pete Davidson, British comedian Jimmy Carr, Rob Riggle and roastmaster David Spade, included — saved their most viciously funny material for Coulter, who actually bombed when she finally took the mic (just to flash her latest book). Not that it mattered, really; she already got the spotlight.

“Everyone is asking, why is Ann Coulter here tonight?” said Lowe, who closed out his own special with a incredible set of killer yuks. “Because the right-to-lifers wanted everyone to see what abortion looks like up close.”

Oh, there were lots more Coulter cutdowns. Here are some of the best Coulter jokes — and 13 about everybody else (even Lowe himself).

“Ann has never had kids. She is so anti-immigration, her vagina won’t allow anymore in the country.” — Rob Lowe

“How do I roast someone from hell? Ann, you are the only woman ever to sexually harass Roger Ailes.” — Jeffrey Ross

“Ann is against gay marriage. What is your thinking on that? If I can’t get a husband, they can’t either?” — Jeffrey Ross

“Ann hopes the Republicans can hold onto the House so she can still haunt it.” — David Spade

“Ann Coulter is here. If you are here, Ann, who is scaring the crows away from our crops?” — Pete Davidson

“I do want to say as a feminist that I can’t support everything that’s been said tonight. But as someone who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.” — Jewel

“Ann Coulter and no black people? What are we roasting? A cross?” — Pete Davidson

“I’m not the only athlete up here. As you know earlier this year, Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby.” — Peyton Manning

“God, it’s white up here. It’s the only way we could get Ann Coulter, though.” — Nikki Glaser

“If Ann Coulter is here, someone must have said her name three times. Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!” — Rob Riggle

“Ann is one of the most repugnant, hateful, hatchet-face bitches alive. It’s not too late to change, Ann. You could kill yourself.” — British comedian Jimmy Carr

“Jeff Ross is going to party like it’s 1999. Ann Coulter is going to vote like it’s 1899.” — Jewel

“Ann Coulter has written 11 books, 12 if you include Mein Kampf.” — Nikki Glaser

“Ann, you are awful. The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave.” — Nikki Glaser

“Rob Lowe, or as gonorrhea doctors call him, patient zero.” — Pete Davidson

“Hey look, it’s Ralph Macchio! How cool is that? Said no one, ever.” — Rob Riggle

“Look at this little nugget, Pete Davidson. It’s hard to recognize him when he’s not on SNL, or not on an adventure with the man with the yellow hat.” — Jewel

“Rob Riggle, you look like every dad who can’t handle having a gay son.” — Jewel

“Peyton Manning is here because Eli is still out there making his dad proud.” — Jewel

“David Spade, you went out and got a business degree from Arizona State. Although to be fair, we all know that a business degree from Arizona State is a bar towel that says, ‘you read good.’” — Peyton Manning

“Rob Lowe, the only thing you are consistently on is Twitter, which is surprising because you have never been able to master one character, let alone 140.” — Peyton Manning

“Jewel is here. Or as I call her, Trailer Swift.” — Nikki Glaser

“Rob Lowe defies age … restrictions. You look like you are sculpted. You put the statue in statutory rape.” — Nikki Glaser

“I had such a crush on Rob as a little girl. If only I knew that’s when I would have had my best shot.” — Nikki Glaser

“You might know Ralph from The Karate Kid. If you don’t know him from that, you don’t know him.” — David Spade

“Rob Lowe. Or as the girls in the sex tape said, ‘Rob, no.” — Jeffrey Ross

“I just got Peyton Manning’s first book. It’s called ‘Football good. Fire, bad.'” — Jeffrey Ross