The little girl was tossed around and hit — but adults in ­9-year-old Ashdeep Kaur’s life didn’t think too much about it until she was found dead in an empty bathtub.

“That is how we grew up in Punjab. I was thinking, ‘It’s normal, it’s OK. It’s family,’ ” said Ashdeep’s uncle, Manjinder Singh.

Ashdeep’s stepmom, Arjun Samdhi Pardas, 55, has been charged with murder for allegedly strangling the girl, police said.

The petit woman held back tears as detectives walked her out of the precinct in Richmond Hill, Queens, in handcuffs Saturday night — then burst into sobs in the car.

The girl from Punjab, India, had been entrusted to Pardas’ care, even though relatives knew Ashdeep had accused her of abuse.

“She always told me she doesn’t like to be with her stepmother. Sometimes she got beatings from her,” Singh said. “Sometimes she grabbed her, threw her on the bed.

“I’m not thinking she’s going to kill her.”

Pardas was nowhere to be found when a housemate discovered Ashdeep’s body Friday evening in the bathtub of the family’s home on 112th Street. Cops found her several hours later at another location in Queens.

Ashdeep’s father, Sukjinder Singh, 35, pale from grief, had to be held up by relatives on Saturday as he left the 102nd Precinct station house.

The day before, upon learning his daughter was dead, Singh collapsed on the sidewalk.

Another relative, Shalanjit Singh, 21, was stunned by Ashdeep’s killing.

“She came here for a bright future, you know?” he said. “She was going to go to school and everything. She didn’t deserve it. It’s heartbreaking. I still can’t ­believe that she’s gone.”

Ashdeep’s father often played outdoors with his little girl, said neighbor Avinash Singh, 41.

“I saw them a few days ago. The fire hydrant was opened and she was playing in the water with the other kids,” the neighbor said.

“Sometimes they play with a ball. He would throw it to her and she would catch it. She would be laughing; you know they were having fun. They were close.”

Ashdeep and her father arrived in the United States three months ago, police sources said.

Pardas seemed “very quiet, very nice, always smiling,” said her landlord, Sucha Singh.

Other neighbors said the tragic girl and her family lived in cramped conditions, sharing a two-bedroom apartment with another couple — the ones who found the girl’s body in the bathroom.

“Most of them have no ­papers, nothing,” neighbor Vicky Singh said of the building’s tenants.

Additional reporting by Kathianne Boniello and Stephanie Pagones