Previously I had written about the overwhelming pain associated with having Maestro hurt my nipples. At that time he promised that he was going to build something which would heighten my sensitivity, and have me begging for the pain. Today the first round of this device has been created. I have decided to share my daily thoughts on this blog. As I go through this process my hope, my goal, is to stretch beyond what I thought were my limits and grow from the experience.

Day 1:

Maestro constructed a push-pin cushion for my nipples. It is NOT comfortable, and I am squirming as he gently positions them into each cup of my bra. He is smiling at me as I am grimacing from the pain of the little points digging into my nipples, he is enjoying this.

But the squirming isn’t enough, he wants me to feel it! No, let me rephrase this, he is getting turned on by my pain, and wants to push me. So he tells me to lie down with my head at the foot of the bed…on my stomach. I do as I am told, and cry out a little as the pins push further into my nipples.

He ties me down, just my hands, and lies on top of me- pushing the pins deeper into my breasts. I can feel him growing hard against me as I cry out, and he has a happy chuckle as he rises from me and gets the strap. Tonight there will be much pain!

In an effort to maintain honesty and integrity in my blog, I have to say that I don’t remember much after the first 10 to 15 strikes. Maestro says he was watching as I drifted into “subspace”, and allowed me to linger there a while.

I know that the next thing I remember was lying in his arms, and he was gently stroking my hair and back. I remember thinking that this is my favorite place to be. He takes such good care of me.

When I had fully returned Maestro instructed me to remove the pins for the night. We will start again tomorrow.

DAY 2:

Maestro has reconstructed the cushion which the pins sit in so there is less chance they will slide around. As he is putting the new ones in my bra I ask how long I will have to wear them, he answers “A couple of hours, or until I tell you to take them out.”

My thoughts today: I am hurting. The new construction has the pins sitting in a complete circle around my nipple. Every time I move my arm or bend at all, the little pins bite or scratch deeper into the delicate skin. What I cannot reconcile is how turned on I am by this. Even though I have owned my masochism, this is a new sensation for me. Normally the nipples are off-limits (so to speak) and kill the mood as soon as they are touched. Today I have had the little points scratching and digging and biting my nipples for hours and my panties are soaked! I am thoroughly turned on by this! I am exuding sex!

I am trying to wrap my head around this and the only explanation I have at this time is that, once again, Maestro knows what he is doing. I want to say that I am not looking forward to wearing this contraption every day, (or until Maestro decides the training is done,) I want to say that because that is what my brain is telling me I should feel. However, obviously, a part of me is VERY MUCH looking forward to it! I am not sure how I feel about that.

Day 3:

Maestro told me that he will be inserting the pin cushions back into my bra when we return home from work today. I have now spent the entire day completely distracted by this thought. I am conflicted, you understand. There is a part of me desiring the pain of the pins so badly that I can hardly contain myself, and there is the part of me that accepts that Maestro has given me instruction and I will do what I am told, but in the middle there is this voice that is horrified at this behavior! “How can you let someone do this to you?” it screams at me “And look at you! How can you be turned on by this?!” Because I am. Hopelessly turned on, embracing my submissiveness, anticipating the pins.

Maestro came home, walked to me with the cushions in his hand and said “It’s time.” I lifted my blouse, exposing my bra, and winced as he placed the pins to my breast and squeezed me close to him. I cried out from the pain as the tips bit into the delicate flesh around my now hardened nipples. “Good girl.” he whispered to me ” You are my good girl.”

I have been instructed that I will wear them for several hours tonight, perhaps until I go to bed. When I commented that it seemed unfair to not be able to take off my bra at the end of the day, he responded by saying “I am willing to accommodate you. If you are ready to wear the pins to work all day, then you can take your bra off in the evening.” Well…I’m not. So for now I will have to live with not taking off my bra, and wearing the wonderfully horrible pins in the evening.

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