When I was fourteen I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome, and my doctor told me that there was nothing that she could do for me because I was too fat. She told me that it was very likely that I would develop ovarian cancer by the time that I was twenty, and I’d never be able to conceive children. My mom and I were super devastated.

I had always wanted children- when someone would ask what I wanted in life the answer was always a nice house and to be a good mom, so when she told me I wouldn’t be able to have kids I had to reimagine my whole life.

I became extremely occupation oriented. I decided I wanted a super great job that paid tons and if I ever had kids it would be okay because I could adopt. I really didn’t even know if I wanted kids anymore. I was supposed to be sick, why risk putting a child through that?

Fast forward six years and I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I was also sent to an obgyn who told me that, no, I was not incredibly likely to get cancer, and yes, there was a good chance that I’d be able to have babies if I ever wanted them. I spent my entire childhood being terrified of dying before I ever turned twenty because a women didn’t want to help me because I was an overweight child. Her solution was to put me on birth control and lose weight. The new solution was to fix my thyroid and figure out my hormones.

I’m getting better now, which is super awesome, but it just astounds me that a woman was willing to put my health in danger because she thought I weighed too much. I think about this all the time and really just needed to share because tbh that’s so fucked.