A lot of mainstream MMA fans may not be aware of UFC middleweight Tim Kennedy. The semi-active sniper/observer with the US Special Forces is actually a pretty funny guy, but the most that have ever been seen was in the advertisements for his Strikeforce Middleweight Title challenge against Luke Rockhold. Well, today we’re going to share his comedic genius and trash-talking fails with the world. Since his scheduled opponent for UFC Fight For the Troops 3, Lyoto Machida, had to be moved to the UFC Fight Night 30 card in Manchester to replace an injured Michael Bisping, Kennedy has taken to Twitter to find himself a new opponent in what may be one of the few laugh-out-loud worthy series of tweets from an MMA fighter. Here’s his challenges, taunts, and responses, grouped by target.

The collected challenges of Tim Kennedy (Volume 1)

Rich Franklin

Mr. @RichFranklin I’m not sure if you have plans Nov 6th? I just got stood up on for a date, and now need someone else to step in… 😉 — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

Hey @RichFranklin aka “American Fighter” I want your nickname. It’s cool & clever. I’ll fight you for it! Tim (aka future American Fighter) — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

@RichFranklin this obviously is my week for heart breaks and let downs. (Typed while crying) — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 29, 2013

Chris Camozzi

@TimKennedyMMA how dare you talk about my hair!!! That’s crossing the line bro! I’m always available — Chris Camozzi (@ChrisCamozzi) September 28, 2013

So @danawhite this is what happened. I made fun of @ChrisCamozzi ‘s hair. He got mad… So to settle things we decided to fight! — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

@ChrisCamozzi I have never had pen jealously before, but I do now. That pen if bad ass. I will fight you for ownership of that bullet pen! — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

@TimKennedyMMA done. I’ll bring my pen in its proper case and have @danawhite hold it during the fight — Chris Camozzi (@ChrisCamozzi) September 28, 2013

Cung Le

Hey @CungLe185 You vs me main-event at @ufc Fight For The Troops 3. I would also like to point out that you are old. Tk — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

“@TimKennedyMMA: I have serious doubts that Cung is a good driver.” You might be right Tim. Good thing I won’t be the worse driver in China — Cung Le (@CungLe185) September 28, 2013

Nick Diaz

News flash!!! @nickdiaz209 I stole your pot, and bicycle. If you want them back you have to come out of retirement and fight me @ufc Nov 6th — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

Mauricio “Shogun” Rua

Mr @ShogunRua Australia is a long flight how bout you/me in kentucky & we go at 195lbs. You don’t need training camp since you don’t train — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

I think @ShogunRua dresses like a Brooklyn pimp (not the classy kind). I should give him a lesson in style and fighting. @ufc FFTT 3 Nov 6th — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

Thales Leites

I wanted to point out to Mr. @thalesleites that my last 3 opponents were from Brazil & they “fell through”perhaps you would actually show up — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

Gegard Mousasi

Yo @mousasi_mma I’m not exactly sure where Leiden is, but I want to put you in a “Dutch oven”. (See what I did there). Let’s fight over it. — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

Wanderlei Silva

Mr. @wandfc Don’t fight Chael Sonnen. He has better wrestling than me, and a better chin. I am a way easier fight. You vs Me Nov 6th @ufc — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

You need to know Mr. @wandfc that one of my secret agents poised your food yesterday. You have to fight me if you want the antidote. #life — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

Costa Philippou

Screw it…. Hey @Philippou185UFC want to get back in there asap? I promise not to wrestle if you promise not to punch me?!?! — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

Rafael Natal

Opportunity knocks @rafaelsaponatal you always win, but no one knows who you are. When I’m done with you, neither will you(Tough guy voice) — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

Loretta Hunt

@lorettahuntmma I am straight weapons free right now. Fire for effect at everything. No one is safe! Hell I’d fight you. You free Nov 6? — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

@lorettahuntmma 🙂 oh Loretta you are a funny/clever girl. — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013

Dan Stupp

@MMAjunkieDann you wanna fight BRO? (Yes I totally just dropped the “bro” card) — Tim Kennedy (@TimKennedyMMA) September 28, 2013