Previously on Supernatural, aka a limerick for Sweet Baboo, who backed my Kickstarter recap campaign:



There once was a Bobby named Singer

For whom helping The Boys was a wringer.

When a monster named Dick

Shot him right quick,

He died but continued to linger.



Currently on Supernatural:

Castiel and Sam visit a medium for a seance. They delve into the spirit realm, looking for answers to important questions.

On the other end of the line, which is in Heaven, Bobby Singer hears Sam’s voice come over his old-timey radio. “Bobby, we need your help.” Bobby is so startled that he has to put down his Tori Spelling autobiography.

Let’s backtrack 24 hours, shall we?

Sam is cozily tucked in bed when he hears Dean’s extra-gravelly voice shouting for him.

Sam goes pad-padding-Padalecking down the hall in bare feet, gun drawn. Didn’t their bedrooms used to be across the hall from each other? That would seem more practical. He busts into Dean’s room and finds him shouting in his sleep.

We the viewers are privy to Dean’s black-and-white nightmares. He remembers Cain foretelling Sam’s death. He remembers pulverizing Metatron, even though that honestly seems like it would be a happy memory. He flashes back to killing Abaddon.

I like how they both apparently sleep fully clothed. Now, you might say that this is so they’ll be ready to take on any foe that might barge into the Lair O’ Letters in the middle of the night. But come on. Faced with naked Winchesters, a monster would simply be too stunned and/or turned on to fight.

The next morning, Sam rushes to end a call with Castiel when Dean walks in on him. Uh oh. Dean’s wearing one of his sorta-red-and-black outfits. Them’s demonic clothes!

Dean lies about getting a good night’s sleep. Sam lies about wanting to go out of town to watch a French movie about mimes and cockroaches. Of course, Sam knows Dean is lying and Dean should know that Sam is lying because mimes are clown-adjacent. If anything, mimes are worse than clowns because clowns are upfront about their awfulness, whereas mimes keep trying to lull you into a false sense of security.

Sam drives off in a very old truck with a camper top. Why does he not use one of the sweet, sweet vintage autos in the LOL’s garage? Castiel and the gold pimpmobile are waiting for him on a bridge. “Where’s Dean?” Castiel asks. “This is about Dean,” Sam says.

They talk in such a way that makes it sound like they’re planning to kill Dean, but they’re actually talking about getting Metatron out of Heaven.

Meanwhile in Hell, Crowley walks in on his naked mother as she’s painting symbols in blood all over her body. He’s so horrified that he doesn’t push very far for an explanation.

Back at the LOL, Dean is ignoring Sam’s directive to stay out of his room. He wiggles his butt on Sam’s pillow, tapes over the old phone as if Sam is ever going to use that thing, and rubs Sam’s toothbrush around in his armpit.

Wouldn’t Sam have taken his toothbrush for his little “trip”? Anyway, he’s also talking to another hunter on the phone during all this, trying and failing to find a job with which to occupy his time.

Sam and Castiel reach that playground where no children ever play. A young guy in a hoodie stops them from accessing the sandbox’s doorway to Heaven. To explain things, the angel currently occupying this guy slips out and Hannah, in her multidimensional wavelength form, slips in. I didn’t hear that guy give his permission, by the way. Maybe for quickies it’s fine. Anyway, Castiel immediately recognizes her. Him? I don’t even know how to do pronouns for angel possessions. They still seem very fond of each other regardless:

Hannah and the rest of Heaven can’t allow Castiel to borrow Metatron from jail. It’s too dangerous, and it means more screen time for that jerk! Sam comes up with a Plan B that involves breaking into Heaven. Castiel’s face goes, “Oh, we’re screwed.”

********

Dean heads to a local bar and asks Donny, the cute bartender, for a “Hervé Villechaize.” That’s kind of a strange name for a plate of nachos. Upon reflection, it might’ve been “Villacheese,” although the CC doesn’t say so.

He decides to hustle some preppy college dudes and runs his hands through his hair to make it stand up tall and proud.

********

Sam explains to Castiel about some psychic named Oliver Pryce who’s apparently the real deal. He does this right as they’re approaching Oliver’s front door, because nobody ever explains things on the drive over. When Oliver doesn’t open the door right away, Castiel offers to break it down. Sam’s like, yes everybody likes to see you break doors but chill.

Oliver, the medium from the teaser, opens the door and immediately knows who Sam is, because mind-reader. He tries to read Castiel’s mind but gets only colors.

“I’m an angel,” Castiel explains. “No–no you can’t be,” Oliver sputters. “I’m an atheist!” Just look into those big blue eyes and believe, buddy. Believe.

They explain to Oliver that they need to contact someone in Heaven. Sam should just let him read his mind and cut out the exposition. They use one of Bobby’s old trucker caps and hold hands around a World Market display of candles.

A Latin chant brings us back to the scene at the start, which brings me to a question. Why is Bobby alone in his pocket of Heaven? Shouldn’t he be with his wife or the Winchesters, or reasonable facsimiles thereof?

Back at the bar, Dean is pretending to be terrible at pool over a $20 bet. For the next round, he ups the bet to $300. Now, for any sensible person this would instantly give away the hustle. But this is a person who went to a dive bar looking like he just got back from a Gap Kids photo shoot:

Suddenly Dean is Fast Eddie Parker and the college boys are out a bundle of cash.

He saunters off to the bathroom to wash his face for some reason, and catches sight of his own demonic black eyes in the mirror. He blinks them away and looks disturbed and confused.

We rejoin the seance after Sam has explained the past twenty or so episodes to Bobby. He should have just had him read my recaps! Then he and Castiel explain he needs to find the gateway to Earth so they can grab Metatron. I like that they don’t even mention asking John to do this. Suck it, John!

*********

Dean walks out of the bathroom to find Rowena sitting at the bar. (A techie from Hell helped her narrow down possible locations to a 10-mile radius, but I didn’t recap it.) The rest of the bar is suddenly empty, except for the college boys she’s whammied into doing her bidding. They take turns attacking him, because they’re too polite to rush him all at once. Then the whammied bartender pops up. Dean smashes him with a billiard ball. Five-ball in yo face!

Rowena uses the blood symbols on her body to blast Dean, but her magic has no effect on him. Now, a lot people are thinking it’s the Mark of Cain that repelled the blast. But, recalling the stinky toothbrush from earlier, I decided to slow the playback and apply special scientific filters to highlight the true source of repellency:

Look at those funk particles fly!

Dean goes after Rowena, demanding to know why she’s there. She says she’s trying to save her son from Dean’s good influence. Lady, you didn’t hear about their orgy with the triplets! This is the first Dean is hearing that Rowena is Crowley’s mom. But if Rowena wants to find the Lair O’ Letters and its witchy treasures, why is she trying to kill Dean? Anyway, she manages to keep him from killing her by saying she’s the only one who can save the college boys and bartender.

*********

With Castiel’s instructions, Bobby finds the way out of his own personal Heaven and into a seemingly endless white hallway, lined with white doors all bearing the names of occupants. This is apparently the Robert (and Roberto) Singer hall. An alarm sounds. “Balls!” Bobby singers.

********

Rowena returns to Hell completely intact, but slices herself up pretty good before paying her son a visit. “Dean Winchester did this to me,” she mewls. Crowley is unmoved. She was, after all, trying to kill the guy. She says she’s going to find a way to remove the Mark of Cain. Crowley seems more interested in this than in her state of physical harm.

*********

To create a distraction, Bobby releases all the other Bobbys from their individual Heavens. A call goes out among the angels are help. “We need all hands! The Bobbys are surly!” This leaves Bobby free to open the door that leads to Earth.

While Sam mooses around with the playground angels, Castiel bursts through the bushes and races for the sandbox like a cat with a desperately overfull bladder.

Castiel slides into Heaven on his back. There must have been some top-shelf cartwheeling going on, because he jumped into the doorway vertically. Also, I think the main difference between Heaven and Hell is the lighting. Like, they’re both bureaucracies full of power struggles, but Heaven has hella flattering lights.

*********

Crowley pops up to the bar to have a chat with Dean, who sets him straight on just what happened with Rowena. It’s interesting that Dean and Crowley are so upfront with each other, while Dean and Sam/Castiel keep each other out of the loop.

They have a very sincere chat about families and manipulative families and what it means to be family. “A wise man once told me family don’t end in blood,” Dean says. How apropos since said wise man is in the episode’s other plot tonight.

*********

Bobby is unimpressed by Metatron’s visage. “This is the Scribe of God? He looks like a Fraggle!”

Castiel looks as depressed by the prospect of having Metatron in this storyline as I am.



When they get back to Earth, Sam is waiting for them. How did Sam dispatch all those angels on his own? Did they all leave to help wrangle Bobbys? Metatron starts making a bunch of demands, so Castiel nicks his throat with an angel blade and sucks his grace into a spice jar. Thus rendered mortal, Metatron finds it especially painful when Sam shoots him in the leg. I find it especially funny!

“You will answer our questions,” Castiel growls, “or Sam will blow your frickin’ brains out.”

Metatron cries and confesses that he doesn’t actually know how to remove the Mark, although Lucifer’s name does come up. Castiel’s angel senses can tell that Metatron is telling the truth for once. “Shoot him,” he says to Sam. Sam is happy to oblige, but Metatron stops him. Noooo! So close! Metatron says he’ll take Castiel to whatever’s left of his grace.

*******

Crowley goes back to Hell and kicks Rowena out. Why would he set her free, though? Hell hath no fury like a mother scorned. Literally, even! “You’re choosing the Winchesters over me?” she boggles. “I’m choosing me,” he says. I think that calls for a celebration!

********

Sam gets back to the LOL and keeps up the French movie lie. For his part, Dean doesn’t mention his demon eyes or heart-to-heart with Crowley. I don’t 100% understand why Sam is keeping his plotline a secret from Dean, though. Didn’t they just last week sort of decide to keep fighting? You know, in the car scene at the end while Dean battled indigestion and Sam drove.

Sam heads to his room to read a note Bobby had given to Castiel. It’s weird that they have actual physical paper in Heaven. I guess it really is a bureaucracy. Bobby thinks Sam should tell Dean what’s going on. Like, at least tell him Bobby’s doing okay, right? There’s stuff about doing bad stuff in order to do more good stuff, and other foreshadowing stuff about what it costs. He closes by advising Sam to “kick it in the ass.” We miss you, Kim Manners! As Sam reads this, we see the angels paying Bobby an ominous-looking visit. Are they going to send him back to Hell? Take his Tori Spelling books away?

We may never find out…until the next time Bobby “Dead But Not Gone” Singer returns.



Overall, I think this was one of the better episodes of the season. I give it 4 out of 5 Hellhounds:

and one stick of extra-strength deodorant, which you should use unless you need to repel witches:

–Tippi Blevins