This political season has put me on the defense. It’s unexpected and not unexpected at the same time. Two reasons:

1. Since I was a child I have railed against unjust treatment of women or double standards. I remember being under five crying angry tears when an uncle was disappointed to be having a girl. You might think your criticisms are just, and that might be true. But part of not being sexist is calling it out even when it’s directed at a woman you don’t like. Sexism directed at the most famous and yes, respected woman in the world, hurts women you care about as well.

2. I also hate seeing people make assumptions about why people do things, assuming they know why someone does this or that, that their reasons aren’t valid. That the life they’ve experienced hasn’t led them this way or that way, when you can’t possibly know what’s in someone’s heart or head. Trying to be understanding is important not just to do with people you like, but almost more important to do with people you don’t like.

Thinking about why this election has become so emotional for me, why I’m so bothered by “lesser of two evil arguments”, the hatred shown towards Hillary, that is beyond policy disagreement, reminded me of something from my childhood that I hadn’t thought of for awhile.

When I was in junior high, I lived with my abusive dad for a year. I was too afraid to take a shower, since he would come in and I didn’t want to be vulnerable to anything he might try and do to me. I would manage a few here and there, but i often would go to school with greasy hair.

Needless to say, the kids would have a field day, making fun of me, trying to break me down. I didn’t try and explain myself. I took it. I knew I was doing what I had to do to survive. I knew they didn’t understand. I wasn’t angry or even upset. I was focused on getting through the day, every day, with some sense of control. This is just one connection I feel with Hillary. When people ask me why I support her, rather than go into policy or votes that they’ll shut down with a YouTUbe clip they found on some new organization that just cropped up to support Bernie, I say “Because she is a fucking survivor.”

It made me think of the choices women must constantly face. Our entire lives are often about choosing the lesser of two evils to varying degrees. So to hear these, usually straight white men tear their “oh so pure” clothes over the very thought of it, has just really been the final straw for me.

It has made me think about the strength in women, the value they have that so often goes dismissed or unrecognized. And here we are at the brink of a historic moment, women see people trying to delegitimize this victory, they see the most powerful woman in the world still reduced to her jacket color and her smile. So if some women get emotional or angry about things this political season, it’s because we are seeing on a grand scale the sexism all of us have faced during our lives. We want someone to beat the odds for once. We want to be allowed to fail and to not be perfect.

Whether you support Hillary or not, I feel like we should be able to come together on the idea of how important it is to have a woman reach the highest levels. THAT is something that is worth voting.

Remember this?

Think of our daughters having this:

Even if she isn’t the perfect woman. I assure you, we’ve had to choose from less than perfect men our whole fucking lives. This is a great moment. And I plan on fucking celebrating. I know what it would have meant to me, the greasy haired girl trying to survive to see a woman beat them all. I know what it means to me now as a survivor, Fucking finally.