Objective 2, Book 4b– Day 2

“Awe man I thought for sure I would have EP’d,” Buster confesses, as we walk into the objectives course room.

“Dude I told you that you are tripping. They will make us run it for at least a few sessions each,” I respond. “Some people have told me they had to run it seven times each!”

“Alright, line up for TRs,” Makayla instructs.

Kentucky is in the objectives course room today. She is being trained to run this course room instead of sauna. It is nice to see a friendly face. Buster and I sit three feet from each other. All of the twins are paired up right next to us. Justice and Misty are to my left and Brian and Bolts are to my right. Unfortunately for me, Bolts is across from me and I can already sense his desire to make me laugh.

“TR0 eyes closed for 10 minutes start,” Makayla instructs.

Eyes closed shouldn’t be difficult. I have sat through two hours of this. However, Makayla and Kentucky are busy situating the sauna hatting. This means that they will miss some of the shenanigans Bolts is concocting.

“Lizzy boo bear,” he whispers.

I don’t know why, but it causes me to smile. It is likely because we are not supposed to talk and this breaking of that rule causes me to chuckle. Hmm, do I like being bad?

“I woke up in a new Bugatti,” Bolts whispers.

Bugatti, is a song by Ace Hood. Bolts and I share earbuds sometimes on the smoke benches and we jam to the remix often.

I crack my eye open. Bolts has his eyes cracked open as well. “Remix mother fucker,” I whisper back (Lyrics to the song).

“Lizzy boo bear, boo, boo, boo, do boo,” he whispers again.

Again, I smile before closing my eyes.

“Flunk! Bolts and Brian TR0 eyes closed for 10 minutes start,” Makayla calls out. “Come on Bolts knock it off.”

Thankfully, Buster and I were not flunked.

“Okay, everyone but Bolts and Brian TR0 eyes closed good job. TR0 eyes open, start,” she instructs.

This proves more difficult. Buster is staring me in my eyes. That is what you are meant to do, however, we all know it is less uncomfortable when you find a spot on your twins face and rest your eyes there. It gives the appearance of the confront, without actually staring directly into their eyes and making it awkward. Buster attempts to make me laugh by making goofy facial expressions. We could be flunked by his posture alone. I try to indicate that he needs to sit up and put the palms of his hands on his thighs. As of this moment, he is slouched and has his hands folded together.

As I emphasize his need to correct his posture, Makayla notices that I am shifting in my chair and mouthing to sit up to Buster.

“Buster and Liz Flunk. Buster sit up and put your hands on your lap. Bolts and Brian TR0 eyes closed done, good job. Buster, Liz, Bolts and Brian, TR0 eyes open for 10 minutes, start,” she instructs.

Buster continues to try to make me laugh, but he is unsuccessful. He annoys me too much for me to find him funny. I can see in my peripheral vision that Justice has resting bitch face. It’s funny because, I too, have resting bitch face. I can feel myself starting to giggle inside, as she rolls her eyes. Oh no, I can’t control it. She sees that I am starting to smirk and she smirks back. I dig my nails into my thighs in an attempt to hold back my laughter. My eyes shift back to Buster who is still staring directly at me. He widens his eyes, as if to say, “Keep it together.”

In an ironic twist of fate Makayla calls out, “Liz keep it together.”

Finally, we are done with our morning TRs. While I am relieved I survived it, I am not looking forward to Objective 2 again. There are partitions that create separation between the twin sets in the room. Justice and Misty are to the right of us. They are also on Objective 2. Adam Moon (Misty’s rehab romance), is now in the objectives course room and I can sense Justice’s frustration with the fact that Misty is more engaged with checking out Adam, then running their objective.

“Give me that hand,” I command Buster.

He puts his right hand in mine.

“Thank you,” I acknowledge.

“I have a cognition,” he suggests.

“Really? After one command? Okay, let’s do this,” I laugh.

“I realize, that I have a fiance and baby to take care of back home and that drugs have shattered my ability to care for them,” he cogs.

“Good,” I acknowledge.

“Give me that hand,” I command.

Buster complies and we run it three times to its flat point before moving onto part B of the objective.

“You look at that wall,” I command.

Buster refuses to look at it. I grab his head and force him to look. This counts as a bite of noncompliance and means it does not count as one of the three times needed to run it flat.

“You walk over to that wall,” I command.

Again, Buster does not comply. I grab his arm and force him to walk over to the wall.

“Drop it like its hot, drop it likes it hot,” Misty sings out (Snoop Dogg song).

Clearly, she is biting on Justice’s instruction to walk over to that wall. It causes me to laugh out loud. I peak my head around the partition and witness Justice trying to hold onto Misty as she is dropping it like it’s hot, all the way down to the floor.

“What in the actual fuck is going on here?” I ask through laughter.

“My twin decided to drop it like it’s hot on the walk to the wall,” Justice replies.

“Quit enturbulating each others sessions,” Makayla instructs.

“Sorry,” I call out before returning back to my space with Buster.

“I have a cognition,” Buster claims.

“Okay,” I acknowledge.

“I realize, that there are several paths in life that I can choose from and that today I chose to be sober,” he cogs.

“Good,” I acknowledge, before we run part B three times flat.

“Put your hands against mine, follow them and contribute to the motion,” I command.

Buster complies. We run this part three times flat without any cognition or bites and move onto part D.

“I am going to make a motion with this book. I want you to watch the motion and then duplicate it,” I command.

“You walk over to that wall! No dropping it like it’s hot, no Beyonce walk, no walking it out!” Justice exclaims.

This statement causes me to burst into laughter. Misty is obsessed with Beyonce and has mastered the Beyonce walk. I can only imagine her shaking her ass on the other side of the partition. Buster joins in on the laughter.

“Are you going to Beyonce walk when I run you on this objective?” He asks.

“In your dreams,” I reply.

“I am going to make a motion with this book. I want you to watch the motion and then duplicate it,” I command.

“Okay,” Buster acknowledges.

I stretch the book to my right side and then pull it back towards my chest. After I have made the motion, I hand the book to Buster who then duplicates the motion.

“Do you feel that you have duplicated the motion?” I ask.

“I have a cognition,” he answers.

“Alrighty Whitey,” I respond, while reaching for the clipboard.

“I realize that I can choose to follow you or that I can choose to go my own way,” Buster cogs.

“Good,” I respond.

“I have another cognition,” Buster professes. “I realize that I can choose to do drugs or that I can chose to stay sober,” he cogs.

“Alright,” I reply.

“I have another cognition, but just write down that we ran this part and the next two parts, three times flat and I will use this cog on part C,” he suggests.

“Are you kidding me right now? Whatever,” I reply.

At this point I don’t give a fuck. This is beyond trying my patience. I have no idea what the purpose of these objectives are and I would rather be running them with anyone else. I just want to get off of these as quickly as possible, so I fudge the paperwork and comply with Buster’s suggestion.

“Alright,” I say. “Go ahead.”

“I realize that life can pull at you from every direction, but it is up to you to find the balance,” he cogs.

“Good,” I reply.

“Okay, just mark we ran that three times flat,” he says.

“No, there needs to be some bites so it looks realistic,” I suggest.

We sit for about 20 minutes more, falsifying our worksheets and trying to figure out what the Case Supervisor wants to hear before Makayla chimes in,

“Hey Buster and Liz. I don’t see you up and running your objective. Stay focused and stay in session.”

Buster and I get up to run part B again.

“You look at that wall,” I command. Buster complies.

“You walk over to that wall,” I command. He walks over to it.

“You touch that wall,” I command. He touches it and comments about using intention without reservation.

“I have a cognition,” he suggests. “I realize that every time I popped those pills, I was using intention without reservation and now that I am not popping them I am using intention without reservation,” he cogs.

“I wrote what you said verbatim. Does that look right to you?” I ask. I don’t want to tell him that his sentence is a mess, but he feels it is fine so we move on.

Minutes feel like hours and this objective is sucking the life out of me. I feel like a mindless drone just going through the motions. It is difficult to take this part of the program seriously when it feels like they are trying to break me with these exercises. I can feel myself beginning to harbor frustration, anger and hostility. I won’t blow today, but I am certain before these Objectives are over, tables are going to fly…

Today’s Theme Song- Bugatti Remix- Ace Hood, Wiz Khalifa, T.I., Meek Mill, French Montana, 2 Chainz, Future and Birdland

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**DISCLAIMER: This is my personal experience at a Narconon Rehabilitation Center. This is not an expose or journalistic documentation. It is not meant to bash the program in any way, or suggest that it is the only rehab facility that works for recovery. I have been clean and sober since 09-27-13 and attribute much of that success to this program. All of the names in this series have been changed to protect the identity of my friends and sober family’s privacy! Thank you for reading!**