Lorde’s song “Royals” was everywhere in 2013. But my wife and I wondered, what if instead of a 17 year-old superstar, it was overtired parents of young kids who had written this song. The lyrics below are the result. My friend, singer/songwriter Lisa Hillary recorded our lyrics and it is amazing. Listen to the track and go check out Lisa’s music.

UPDATE: Thanks to fans of the song we now have a video! Check it out.

Rested

Lyrics by Josh Stearns and Erica Carlson

I never set my alarm clock anymore

I wake up before the dawn, I get up early

And I’m not proud of my outfit

It’s three am

And the baby’s screaming

And every minute’s like diapers, Thomas, splashin’ in the bathtub

Juice stains, snack traps, screamin’ in the minivan

They don’t care, we can’t remember the last time we dreamed

But everybody’s like swaddles, white noise, sleeping with your baby

Warm milk, rocking, let them cry it out now

We don’t care, we haven’t slept in a couple years.

We’ll never be rested (rested)

Now that we have kids

That kind of luxe just ain’t for us

We gotta find a different kind of buzz

I drink my coffee (coffee), you can call me sleepy,

And baby I’ll sleep (I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep)

Let me live that fantasy.

My friends say that they have cracked the code

They sleep in to 8 am, and go to parties

And everyone who knows us knows, that were losing it

We look like zombies.

And every minute’s like diapers, Thomas, splashin’ in the bathtub,

Juice stains, snack traps, screamin’ in the minivan,

They don’t care, we can’t remember the last time we dreamed

But everybody’s like swaddles, white noise, sleeping with your baby

Warm milk, rocking, let them cry it out now

We don’t care, we haven’t slept in a couple years.

We’ll never be rested (rested)

Now that we have kids

That kind of luxe just ain’t for us

We gotta find a different kind of buzz

I drink my coffee (coffee), you can call me sleepy,

And baby I’ll sleep (I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep)

Let me live that fantasy.

(Ooh ooh oh)

Our kids have so much energy

They’re runnin’ circles around me

(Ooh ooh oh)

So you’re sleeping without a care

We aren’t caught up in your love affair

We’ll never be rested (rested)

Now that we have kids

That kind of luxe just ain’t for us

We gotta find a different kind of buzz

I drink my coffee (coffee), you can call me sleepy,

And baby I’ll sleep (I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep)

Let me live that fantasy.

….

Also check out this terrific rewrite of ‘Royals‘ in the voice of a newspaper curmudgeon by Adrienne LaFrance, with audio from Aaron Edwards. Actual song and lyrics here.