Thanks for your questions this week, if you have any ones you want answered, drop me a line.

I am interning for a high-profile Congressional campaign in hopes of landing a full-time job after the election. Do winning candidates generally hire campaign staff to fill the job openings? Are interns usually considered for jobs? Just curious about the transition from campaign to Congressional staff.

It depends on the caliber of the candidate. If you are a campaign staffer for an incumbent running for a higher office (i.e. a House member running for Senator) the dynamics change. The fact that you describe your race as “high profile” doesn’t bode well for you.

If the boss is going to be a “high profile” member, odds are he/she will hire high profile staffers. But that doesn’t rule out that your chances. Try and turn that internship into a job. Jobs in the office are more likely to go to people with jobs on the campaign. Less high profile people tend to bring aboard much of their campaign staff.

A word of warning, electioneering is a lot different than governing. The skill set you hone on the trail will migrate well to Congress, provided you’re willing to adapt and learn the new ways of Congress — much different than campaigning. Some campaign staff make great staffers and stay for years. Others realize pretty quickly that the glamor job in Congress is nothing like campaigning, hate it and quit to go back to riding the rails on the trail. Others suck at it and get fired.

As a young Hill Intern, I have the opportunity to intern on the Hill for multiple years. Do you believe this would help out with overall job outcome in the end, or just empty your bank account from licking envelopes for free? – Just Another Intern

Are you paying for it? If so, I don’t recommend it. The hill is a curious beast, and sometimes interns are lifted from obscurity to LD jobs in months. OK, just kidding, that’s only the House.

I’ve seen talented interns wither on the vine and I’ve seen dipshits been given the keys to the office and a promotion in short order. The hill isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair. If this is what you want to do, do it. But embark on this journey knowing this place of full of assholes, dicks, and pussies.

Pussies don’t like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn’t appropriate – and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves… because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don’t know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we’re going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

Yes, that was from Team America. Decide which category you want to be lumped into. I recommend being a dick. If you’re paying for it and you’re not sure what you want to do, I suggest looking somewhere else.

Does sexism exist on the hill? — Hot Shawty

No, sweetheart.

What are the biggest strengths I should have if I want to move up in the ranks? –Susan Biddle Ross

Glad you asked, Susan. A tongue to lick envelopes or a brain smart enough to know that you’ll poison yourself if you lick too many of them. An indefatigable mentality of “I’m just doing my job” is the best strength to have. That and not expecting things to go your way.

If you stay here long enough, you get to see the parts of the slaughterhouse that few do. And what you’ll see ain’t pretty. You’ll either die a hero, or you’ll live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Yes, that was from Batman: The Dark Knight.

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