Opportunities

Once you have chosen a partner you’re comfy with, decided on a play-space, and any power exchange roles (top/bottom, Dom/sub, Master/pet, Daddy/boy), now you get to talk about the fun stuff.

What do you want to do? Is there something you’re curious about but haven’t had a chance to explore yet? Is there a skill you want to practice or refine? Is there a headspace you want to get to? What is the goal of your scene? Is it to have a black and blue bottom? To reach subspace? Put on a show for voyeurs in the room?

This is where you tell your partner what you want to happen in the scene. This is also where you listen - without judgement - to what your partner wants from the scene. Just saying what you want isn’t an agreement to do those things. It’s just a place to start.

Experience

You should also discuss the experience both of you have doing the activity that you want to do. If you are brand spanking new to spanking, its going to help the Top to know that so that he can adjust and make sure to keep an extra careful watch on how you react to the pain your receiving. Likewise, if you’re a superstar with eletro-sex, this might be a good thing to bring up during negotiations. It may never have occurred to the bottom as something they want to try until you suggest it. So throw it out there, and see what sticks.

Boundaries and Limitations

Partners should also discuss any physical or emotional limitations. Things like an old injury, poor circulation, or plastic surgery could all be potential hazards to avoid in a scene. You definitely don’t want to be whipping silicone breasts, or doing predicament bondage with someone with deep vein thrombosis.