by Gary T. McDonald, author of The Gospel of Thomas (the Younger)

Before you jump down my throat, please realize I’m not the first to have asked the question. Google it.

And when I start talking about his “distorted personality”, please don’t take it as a slur on gay people. I’m talking about the ways having same sex attraction in a society that stigmatizes and persecutes transgressive behavior may have traumatized and ultimately deranged him. I’m asking — was Paul maybe somewhat like the First Century’s Roy Cohn?

But before that, I must ask — was he, in fact, gay? (And, I know — no such term or concept existed back then. But still, the behavior existed or there wouldn’t be condemnations of it in the Bible and references to it in classical literature.)

Let’s start with Paul’s bizarre claim in II Corinthians 12 that he was taken up into “the third heaven” where he was given secret teachings by Jesus that he can’t reveal. Then he says he can’t really boast about this because, after all, he’s been given “a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me.”

Various scholars have theorized different infirmities as the “the thorn” — malaria, Malta fever (Brucellosis) and chronic eye problems. Then there are the cheerleaders for epilepsy and the seizures it produces.

I don’t buy the first set. Paul is very candid in his writings. I don’t think he would play coy with an exact explanation of his “thorn” if it were merely a physical problem. The epilepsy theory is better. But Paul wouldn’t want anyone suspecting that his dramatic collapse on the road to Damascus (and his attendant vision and conversion) and his crazy trip to “the third heaven” were the mere products of seizure dreams.

But there are all these other things to consider.

Jewish males were expected to marry and produce children. Second only to worshiping God and keeping his commandments, this was the main priority for a small sect surrounded by more powerful rivals and enemies. But “extremely zealous” Jew (Galatians 1) Paul did not marry. Instead, he chose to wander around the Roman Empire for twelve years with young male partners. He didn’t encourage Christians to marry unless they could not control their lust — then they should marry (I Corinthians 7). So lust for women could not have been Paul’s “thorn” or he could have married to relieve it. But what if relations with a wife would not have relieved it?

Then there’s Paul’s rather strange psychology. Before he became “Paul” he was Saul from Tarsus (in what we now call Turkey). He left home to travel to Jerusalem to study with the best Pharisee teachers (Acts 22 and 26). The Pharisee academies were centers of rigorous logical thought (somewhat like the Greek philosophical academies) and study of the Torah in Hebrew. Paul’s writing show very little evidence of logical thought. His reasoning is usually convoluted at best. And when he quotes the Torah, it is always word for word the Greek translation known as the Septuagint rather than his own translation of the Hebrew original. One could excuse him with the explanation that he is merely arriving at the very same translation as he writes in Greek, but after well over a hundred quotes, it’s impossible to believe that not a single word is different from the well known Greek translation of the time. So we must look at his claim of being a rigorous Pharisee scholar with skepticism. And we must look at the narcissism and defensiveness of his false claim as a mark of a somewhat distorted personality.

And if that wasn’t enough, look what he does next. After his however brief career as a Pharisee, he switches sides. If the Pharisees were the far left Democrats of the time, the Temple priests were the far right Republicans and the High Priest was the chairman of the party. Suddenly, without explanation, Saul leaves the Pharisees and goes to work for the High Priest. It makes me wonder if he wasn’t booted from the academy and really resented it.

And if the sudden change isn’t weird enough, look at the job he takes on. Many of us have strong beliefs and judgments about what other people believe and practice in their lives. But not very many of us go out of our way to become active persecutors of those we disagree with. It takes a certain kind of person to join the Gestapo. Paul was that kind of guy. He seems to relish in his new role as the High Priest’s henchman for the capturing and killing of Christians. We know this wasn’t the Pharisees’ attitude because in Acts 5 their leader, Gamaliel, expresses tolerance and insists the Apostles be left alone. So Saul has jumped from one camp to the other with bloodthirsty enthusiasm. Not exactly a model character. I don’t know about you, but when I see someone doing something erratic and enthusiastically violent like this, I start wondering if they aren’t desperately trying to compensate for some hidden shame. It seems they’re thrashing around in life like a fish out of water trying to get comfortable with themselves.

But now Saul thrashes again. On the road to Damascus on a persecution mission, he is struck blind and hears Jesus telling him to chill. Maybe it hit him that these people he’s persecuting have an answer for him — God isn’t judging us as much as he’s loving us. No need for shame. God forgives our weaknesses. If I was queer in First Century Palestine that message might really be appealing. As you probably know, the Torah was not big on transgressive sexual leanings. So Saul converts and becomes the now avid Christian Paul.

Paul becomes this super missionary traveling with his special pal Barnabas. Until Barnabas starts wanting his special pal John Mark to come along. In Acts 13, the drama is too much and John Mark splits. When their next missionary swing is being planned, Barnabas wants John Mark along again. But once again — drama. This time both Barnabas and John Mark leave in a huff. Scholars insist that the disagreements weren’t over dogma. But they and the Bible are coy about what the issues were. I can’t read about all this without thinking of that great Steely Dan song Gaucho. Check it out on YouTube if you don’t know it — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYryV8og6Ms.

And for a dramatization of all this and the story of a long life spent observing the origins of Christianity up close, you might check out my book The Gospel of Thomas (the Younger) here — www.garytmcdonald.com

“A convincing faux gospel that challenges orthodoxy. Thomas traverses his world encountering First Century figures from Jesus to Nero bringing his times and the origins of Christianity alive in a fresh, new way with wry humor and exciting storytelling.”

―Winston Groom, author of Forrest Gump

“Gary T. McDonald is a born storyteller, and his research is impeccable. The book is fascinating from beginning to end, and his long-overdue, iconoclastic portrait of the Apostle Paul made me stand up and cheer.”

―Lewis Shiner, author of Glimpses

“An inherently fascinating and deftly crafted work of truly memorable fiction, The Gospel Of Thomas (the Younger) is an extraordinary novel by an extraordinary writer and unreservedly recommended…”

― Midwest Book Review