"A horrible experience of unbearable length."

"If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination."

"Those who think Transformers is a great or even a good film are, may I tactfully suggest, not sufficiently evolved."

Read it in full here.