Courtesy of Oprah Winfrey and Harvey Weinstein

(Note: The following story was originally published in January, 2018)

Don’t be shocked by the image. It’s not new. I am not implying anything negative or questionable by including the above photo in this story. Achievers in the film and television businesses know one another, and are frequently cordial at parties.

Easy.

I am deliberately including the photo, however, to make a point: Strange associations abound in the media business, and the anti-Oprah contingent is today having an online field day with this one. By including the image herein I want to spin internet hatred into something positive.

Further, I promise the headline is not entirely click-bait, and will tie together by the end. We’ll begin here, in earnest.

Singer-songwriter Tori Amos once asked, “How can I be a sacred being and a hot pussy?”

What would be your takeaway in 2018 if that question was asked of you? When I saw that headline on the cover of British rock magazine “Q” 20 years ago, the first thing that came to my mind was: Love that. She has balls.

I was considerably less-evolved in 1998.

Let’s get this out of the way: I cannot deliver to you a “how to guide for mind-blowing sex.” Sorry. What I consider as such you may not, and vice-versa.

My preference is to “side door” the issue by discussing evolving attitudes. By talking about respect. If mind-blowing sex ensues following your read, mazel tov. Send me a check with many zeroes to express your appreciation.

For now…

I am writing this the morning after the particularly stirring 75th annual Golden Globe Awards ceremony, which will assuredly prove, in time, to have been a cultural touchstone. The love and admiration of the diverse crowd towards Oprah, who ruled the show’s platform not unlike a particularly charismatic future Presidential candidate, while reinforcing the power of women (#TimesUp), resulted in an unusual pandemonium upon her exiting the stage. The usually revered Ron Howard and Natalie Portman barely registered while reading the Best Director nominees (though Natalie did take a shot at the “all male nominees”); such was the power of Oprah’s words.

For those who missed it, see here:

I immediately posted on Facebook thereafter: “Oprah is kicking it right now. Hers is going to go down in the annals of award speeches. The response is through the roof. Good for her using her power this way.”

This would not have happened at this time, though, if it wasn’t for Harvey Weinstein. I grieve for his victims, and yet through the horror some good has come:

Change. Much-needed, long-overdue change.

So what does this have to do with the topic? How did we transition from mind-blowing sex to The Golden Globe Awards?

I said it. Maybe you missed it. Here it is again: 2018 has arrived, and with it a call for women worldwide to seize their power. Begrudge them if you choose; that would be your loss. Based on a cursory read of social media threads prior to writing this, indeed some men feel something more than resentment. They feel threatened by Oprah’s speech.

Why? Seriously. Why? Men, you have the most amazing opportunities right now. You see doors closing, and you’re dead wrong. Many of you are complaining that you cannot look at a woman now without being called a deviant? Grow up. Lose the chip. Women are asserting their power. They are outright telling you what they’d accept, and what they will not any longer. Why is that an issue?

If a woman doesn’t want to sit on your metaphorical casting couch, or be party to your pornstar lifestyle, now you know. But, if she does, you’ll know that too.

If you’re going to worry that later on she’s going to sue you, or worse, for sexual misconduct, then stay far away.

Period. If you can’t get a grip on your turmoil, why should she?

#MeToo has leveled the playing field in everything from the bedroom to the job field. This is a monster-sized positive, not a negative. It’s about consent relationship-wise, guys (and about equality in all aspects). Stay away if you’re not attaining the desired response; consider the possibilities if you are.

Ever hear the adage, “Happy life, happy wife?” That’s the point. If you’re single, gay, bi… What does it matter? You meet a happy, powerful woman, comfortable in her skin, ambitious, and possessed of a voice. She knows what she wants.

Maybe she’s ferocious. All the better.

And then she garners a healthy respect for you, because you treat her with every iota of respect she deserves. You engage in a partnership, maybe you fall in love …

And that right there may just spark the very best sex of your life.

That tie from the headline to now? Neither as loose as it may appear on the surface, nor that much of a stretch: Respect her as a person. If she consents to be with you, then you may not be the manipulative prick you may have thought you needed to be to get to that point.

Think about it.

Harvey Weinstein is a son of a bitch who should spend the rest of his natural life behind bars. Oprah Winfrey, kudos to you for once again doing your part to change the world.

As for me, I was raised well and so I learned these lessons early. I remain happily married to a strong, determined woman. What goes on privately from there is, frankly, not your business.

I will say this much: I only wish the same for anyone reading this.

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