Witness the fitness: how to avoid being ‘that guy’ or ‘girl’ during your next workout.

The music is pumping, it’s sweaty and there are inappropriate levels of skin and unidentifiable groans. The gym – it’s a confusing place.

In any gym, any town, at anytime, there are certain behavioural anomalies on display which are becoming increasingly prevalent within the confines of the workout environment. In an effort to curb this trend below are some simple guidelines regarding attire, personal space and conversation etiquette to have you ready to appropriately take on your next workout.

For the most part the female community has no problem adhering to the following unspoken gym rules, but guys on the other hand tend to struggle.

Rule breakdown.

1. The NippleNut rule – when picking a suitable outfit for your next workout consider the following guidelines: Does my top (whether is be a tee, sleeveless tee, singlet or stringlet) run along the inside of my nipples leaving them completely exposed before any activity has been undertaken? Or simply.. Can my nipples see daylight? If you find yourself answering yes to either of these questions you’ve chosen incorrectly, pick a new top and try again.

For your shorts, obviously leverage is essential to any good workout however it is a sliding scale. When considering ‘range of movement’ to ‘risk of testicles falling out’ always lean in favour of nut security. Investing in bike pants or compression shorts will ensure everything is secure down below. For ladies these are sufficient gym pants, for guys these are strictly an undergarment - pants are still required.

2. The Denim/Trackpant/Sweatpant rule – More than anything this one is a PSA not a rule. To avoid chafing yourself into oblivion or looking like you went for a swim in your pants post-workout please avoid denim or trackpants as pant choices for your next workout, particularly in summer. Just because they’re often referred to as sweatpants doesn’t mean you have to literally douse them in sweat. Understandably in winter there can be exceptions to the trackpant (or sweatpant) side of this rule, but denim should always be avoided. Like the well known demin-on-demin fashion faux pas, remember denim-on-gym = no dice.

3. Personal space – If there’s a chance we will bump into each other mid exercise you might be too close. If I can feel your breath on my back, or I’m getting hit by your sweat, you are too close.

4. Conversation – The gym is a great place to meet new people and make new friends. So if you happen to cross eyes with a fellow gym goer, try to avoid the ‘Do you wanna fight?!!’ facial expression, keep your hard stares for the hard neighbourhood streets you came from. On the off chance you run into a friend or acquaintance during your workout please be aware that if they are in the middle of an exercise (mid-set) for those few minutes you no longer know each other, so do not approach. If you are in a conversation and one member of the chat picks up a dumbbell or moves to a new set of equipment, this signifies a break or end in the conversation. Don’t be offended, the purpose of the gym is for exercise and your friend only just mustered up the motivation to even attend, be proud they’re staying focused.

As a person who frequents the gym environment this advice is meant to help, not persecute. Personally I am friendly with habitual gym offenders who violate all of these guidelines, and under their gross disregard for these unspoken rules, they’re actually very nice people. With a little nudge in the right direction they could help create a utopian gym society for us all, or at least just make things a little less uncomfortable for the people in their immediate vicinity.