It was not aimed particularly at Towner, but this off-hand bigotry fell like physical blows on a young gay man coming to grips with his sexuality. It kept him firmly in the closet. "I was the tall, stereotypical Aussie male kid. I liked going out drinking with friends, I would pick up girls – trying to overcompensate and prove to myself that I wasn't gay," says Towner, 29. On the football ground, and much further afield, homophobia remains rife. A new study from mental health charity beyondblue finds alarmingly high rates of homophobia among young men.

Beyondblue asked 300 14 to 17-year-old males how they viewed same-sex attracted people. It found 40 per cent of teen boys felt "anxious or uncomfortable" around same-sex attracted people, more than one-third wouldn't be happy to have a gay person in their social group, and one-quarter felt it was OK to use "gay" as a derogatory term. Almost two-thirds had witnessed people being bullied for their sexuality, and one-quarter described terms such as "homo" and "dyke" as "not really that bad". One in five said they find it hard to treat same-sex attracted people the same as others. This homophobia can have a long-lasting, sometimes fatal, impact. Beyondblue chief executive Georgie Harman said young people who experience discrimination can suffer serious mental health problems.

Research shows young males hold more homophobic attitudes than the general public. "This is particularly concerning given young LGBTI people are already three to six times more likely to be distressed than their straight peers," Ms Harman said. High levels of distress have a strong link to depression, anxiety and suicide, she said. The charity will launch a campaign on Tuesday to raise awareness about homophobic attitudes among young people. It took Sean Towner until he was 25 to come out to his friends and family, and it was only with the support of his close friend, and now partner, Michael Winn.

When he was younger he felt suicidal at times and suffered a period of undiagnosed depression. He recently wrote an e-book called Cleaning Out My Closet: A real-life guide to coming out to family and friends. Now the captain of the Penleigh and Essendon Grammar School football team, Towner still hears the younger footballers call each other homophobic names, but they usually apologise to him afterwards. The club and his fellow players have been very supportive after he made his sexuality public, he said. He hopes that an Australian Football League player will come out and use their profile to help reduce homophobia within the game and its young, male fanbase.

"The AFL is ready for a gay footballer. You look at how much a person is derided for race and I don't think sexuality is any different. This is not something I chose, it's how I was born." For help or information, phone Lifeline on 13 11 14, beyondblue on 1300 224 636 or Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800.