Christian Group To Save Haitians With Solar-Powered Bibles

Joining Travolta’s Scientology “humanitarian” effort to capture as many mind prisoners as possible, a Christian group is sending an army of Proclaimers to Haiti. Proclaimers are solar-powered audio bibles, which may assemble into a giant robot to destroy the scientologists.

According to Australian news outlet ABC News, the Faith Comes By Hearing organisation has sent 600 of these Bibles already, which will spread the Holy Word in Haitian Creole. They claim that they are helping by “providing faith, hope and love through God’s word in audio”. The first part is good, especially if you provide them with food, water, medicines and shelter. Or a solar-powered radio, for that matter. Or a flashlight. The second part, however, is just not so good at this point.

They claim that “the Proclaimer is self-powered and can play the Bible in the jungle, desert or… even on the moon!” I’m sure that it would be more helpful there than in Haiti. Because, in Haiti, a solar-powered Bible will be as helpful as the Genesis according to Eddie Izzard.

[ABC News]