Californian Arrested For Concealed Carrying Bible Without Permit

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Local San Francsico resident Matthew Pearson was arrested Wednesday morning for concealed carrying a Bible without the proper state permits, sources at the San Francisco Police Department confirmed.

California law prohibits residents from carrying any written material that contradicts far-left progressive agendas without a difficult-to-obtain permit from the state. Hurdles applicants need to clear include extensive eisegesis training in which they learn how to read progressive values into the text, and safe dismantling of texts that disagree with the left’s worldview. A 10-day waiting period is also required for purchases of easily concealed and transported pocket Bibles.

“We have been able to confirm that the Bible he was carrying contained dangerously bigoted passages, and was not properly stored and secured in a fingerprint-locked Bible cover,” San Francisco Police Chief William “Bill” Scott said in a press conference. “When it was revealed that he did not have a CCB permit for the copy of the Scriptures, he was immediately brought into the station and booked.”

Bail was reportedly set at $250,000.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee