[This was part of a collection of letters about trading places with video game characters, but it was SO funny I had to give it its own thing.]

I would of course pick Donkey Kong because he’s the most powerful character in the world…he can shoot out fire, he can fire ice out of his ears, he can make huge earthquakes and destroy cities, he can teleport anywhere and breathe in space and underwater and he can put on an infinite shield and counterattack any moves and he can DO DONKEY FLARE AND WIPE OUT THE PLANET WITH HIS MIND!!!!!!!

-Gorilla99999, Via the Internet

NP: He makes a mean banana smoothie, too, with two cups of ice, three bananas, a tablespoon of sugar, 12 ripe strawberries, a cup of plain yogurt AND HIS MIND!!!!!!

Nintendo Power Volume 157, June 2002