How to Make a Complaint Here you can learn how to register your complaint, but only if you pay close attention.

Please read all instructions carefully. Due to bandwidth restrictions, we cannot repeat ourselves for any reason.

If you are complaining because you have too much time on your hands, please first fill out Questionnaire B. Please be sure to fill in every field in the form: incomplete forms will be rejected. Questionnaire B will be mailed out to you on the 1st Wednesday of the month preceding your initial complaint. Due to logistics limitations, please wait three months for a response to Questionnaire B. If you wish to contest our response to Questionnaire B, you have until the second Wednesday of the month preceding your initial complaint.

If you are complaining about Wrongcards content that contradicts your religious affiliations, please be aware of the following notice pertaining to different faiths.

If you are Christian and upset, please let us know. Knowing what offends you is our surest guarantee that our work will improve.

If you are of the Jewish faith please sign forms L and K and attach proof of circumcision. Then send the documents in an A4-sized manila folder to your current Internet Service Provider. Please don’t send them to us - these are not the sort of things we enjoy looking at.

If you are of the Muslim faith: any resemblance to the Prophet Mohammad in any picture at Wrongcards is purely coincidental. However, if you think we have represented the image of the Prophet, and feel obligated to enforce your beliefs on the world, feel free to investigate Mr. Robert Banks-Mills of 1223 Suffolk Hills Drive, Billings, NM, in the United States. I have heard Mr. Banks-Mills (or ‘Dearest Bobbie-Wobbie’ as my ex-girlfriend Leanne now calls him) call the Great Prophet “a bit fat bearded liar” on more than one occasion, as he chewed on pork-trotters and swilled alcoholic beverages. You may do with this knowledge what you will.

People of Wrongcards

(or Kris, as I like to be known)