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Seems like a miscarriage of justice – but lovers face fines for kissing on Austria’s trains.

The £42 penalties were brought in to prevent “discourteous behaviour” after moans that amorous passengers were losing track of common decency.

Conductors – who also have the power to kick offending couples off the train – will also pounce if they catch you eating food deemed too smelly.

But if you weren’t a local, how would you know that such ludicrous laws applied?

Unsuspecting people fall foul of red-tape, dotty directives and bizarre bans all over the world.

In fact, there should be a law against this sort of thing...

SKY’S THE LIMIT

A law in Florida bans single, divorced or widowed women from doing a parachute jump on a Sunday.

Sky-diving women face a fine or even jail for defying the barmy rule.

KISS YOUR CASH GOODBYE

Honeymooners would be wise to avoid hiring a car in Eboli, Italy, just south of Naples... because kissing in a moving vehicle here can carry a fine of up to £415.

STICKY SITUATION

In a bid to keep the streets of Singapore clean, the authorities in this super-efficient city decided, in 1992, to ban chewing gum.

Sellers and masticators – that’s the people who chew the stuff – face fines of up to £370.

DOGGONE!

In Oklahoma you can still be fined or even jailed for “making ugly faces at a dog”.

It’s not clear why the offence ever got on the statute books – or why you can still get your collar felt for baring your teeth at a pitbull.

But the state has some other pretty weird rules...

It’s against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle and illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to talk about having sex with a buffalo.

FLIPPING CRAZY

Two tourists in Capri, Italy, were arrested recently for wearing excessively loud flip-flops.

It followed a new ban on “noisy footwear”, which was one of a series of bizarre laws introduced by mayors across Italy to “protect public security”.

A couple in Milan were fined £100 each for “breaching public decorum” by sitting on the steps of a statue.

And the mayor of Eraclea, near Venice, has banned sandcastle building and shell collecting, imposing fines that range from £20 to £200 for the offences.

CUDDLE MUDDLE

In 1985, officials in Swaziland banned couples from making love in a hot spring called Cuddle Puddle.

Ministers threatened couples with fines and even jail for “having sexual intercourse underwater”.

IN THE BAG

in Salt Lake County, Utah, it is illegal to walk down the street carrying a violin in a paper bag.

The county also has a law against the advertising of auctions by hiring trombone players to perform in the streets.

Across the state, in Trout Creek, pharmacists can be fined for selling gunpowder to cure headaches, and in Provo you can get a £30 fine if you get caught throwing a ­snowball.

STEP TOO FAR

Under a centuries-old law, couples in Birmingham, Alabama, can be fined for disorderly conduct if they have sex “on the steps of any church after the sun goes down”.

But the law says nothing about getting intimate in daylight.

DRESSING DOWN

Hunks in Melbourne, Australia, face a fine if they fancy going to the ball as a sheila.

Under a 100-year-old bye-law, it’s illegal for “a man to appear in public wearing a strapless gown”.

OLD DOG, NO TRICKS

In Hartford, Connecticut, an 18th century law forbids any person to “teach or endeavour to try to educate a dog”.

It is not known if this includes getting them house-trained.

FACE LIKE A HORSE

In Wilbur, Washington, it is illegal to ride “an ugly horse” in public on pain of a £185 fine.

WILD URGES

An antiquated law in Iran that’s still on the statute books permits men to have sex with certain types of domestic animals.

But it forbids any sexual contact with wild animals – particularly lionesses.

BLINKING BARMY

In Ottumwa, Iowa, men are banned from winking at women they don’t know while they are within the city limits.

CHEESED OFF

It is an offence for workers in Ferrara, northern Italy, to fall asleep in a cheese factory.

Locals are so passionate about their product they also made it illegal for women of “ill-repute or evil looks” to enter the factory in case they sour the milk.

LOAD OF TRIPE

A 19th century law still in force in Britain makes it illegal for shopkeepers to sell cooked tripe on a Sunday.

Raw is fine... and there’s still no ban on talking it!

SHORT SHRIFT

If you’re going on holiday to Barbados it’s best to leave your Army-style khaki shorts at home.

It’s illegal to wear any camouflage items on the island – unless you’re a member of Barbados’ drug and defence forces.

If not, you could receive a hefty fine.

JUST A SMALL ONE

The married women of La Paz, Bolivia, are allowed to sip just one glass of wine in a public bar or restaurant.

The ruling claims that women who have more than that to drink are “morally and ­sexually lax”, and they can be divorced by their husbands if they are caught over-indulging.

SCOFF AT THIS

It is an offence in New Jersey to slurp soup in a public restaurant “to the annoy-ance of the other customers”.

LAND IN THE CAN

Opening tins of sardines and corned beef can be a chore.

But since 1984 residents of Spades, Indiana, have been banned from shooting them open with revolvers.

The penalty for the offence is three months in jail.

SKATING ON THIN ICE

Ice skaters in Frankfurt are subject to a speed limit of 50mph on any rink, while residents of Troyes, France, are banned from roller-skating when drunk.