David Matheson affirmed his sexuality after a leaked private conversation was reported by the group Truth Wins Out

A prominent “conversion therapy” advocate, David Matheson, has come out as gay after spending what he said were decades of his life entrenched in homophobia.

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Matheson was a practitioner of the practice also known as “ex-gay therapy” or reparative therapy”, which promotes the false idea that being gay is something that should, and can, be “cured”. These therapies have been denounced by major medical bodies including the American Medical Association, American Psychological Association and the UK’s National Health Service.

Matheson said he knew his work had helped some people, but was certain he had hurt some people too.

“Not that I would excuse myself, but any shortcomings I had as a therapist came from too narrow a view of what ‘emotionally healthy’ can look like.” Matheson said on Facebook. “They came from my own homophobia and narrow-mindedness. I am truly sorry for those flaws and the harm they have surely caused some people. And I’m sorry for the confusion and pain my choice may be causing others.”

Matheson, a Mormon, affirmed his sexuality this week after the LGBT advocacy group Truth Wins Out reported on a leaked private conversation between Matheson and “conversion therapy” advocate Rich Wyler.

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After the private conversation was made public, Matheson wrote a Facebook post to affirm he was gay. Matheson said in the post he realized last year that he had to make a change in his life and divorced his wife of 34 years, in part because he felt he could no longer ignore his desire to have a relationship with a man.

“What you can take from this is that my time in a straight marriage and in the ‘ex-gay’ world was genuine and sincere and a rich blessing to me,” Matheson wrote. “I remember most of it with fondness and gratitude for the joy and growth it caused in me and many others.’”

Matheson told the Salt Lake Tribune’s podcast Mormon Land that he was exposed to homophobia as a youth in the Mormon church and found solace in therapy he received to deal with his own same-sex attraction. He said the benefits of that therapy, and his desire to help men like himself, drove him to become a therapist.

Conversion therapy usually uses the talk therapy technique, but there have been documented instances of counselors using extreme “aversion treatments” such as electric shock treatment and medication. Matheson has said he never used “aversion treatments”.

“To the men whose internalized homophobia I colluded with or who went away from therapy feeling that really was kind of hurtful to me, I am so sorry,” Matheson said. “I got into this because I really had a sense of compassion and love to this community”

Matheson said the Mormon church has improved its position on LGBT issues since the 1970s, but added that he wasn’t sure it had acknowledged the stress that comes from being a gay Mormon.

The Mormon church has in recent years clarified that it does not consider same-sex attraction a sin, but its policy dictates that people cannot participate in homosexual behavior and also participate in the church.

Matheson said that by the time he began studying therapy, he had become consumed by the ideology that being gay is a sin.

“Even though it was a deep part of me, I had turned against that part of me,” Matheson said. “So, I was buying hook line and sinker this idea that people can change.”