A mountain lion has been roaming around the Connecticut suburbs since at least Sunday, according to the Greenwich Conservation Department. Evidence indicates the beast could be up to eight feet long and weigh 160 pounds. Residents are terrified, although, of course, some have more reason to be terrified than others.



“It’s especially scary for people with kids,” Greenwich resident Amy Sands said.

Oh. Right. Thanks for putting that in perspective for those of us with utterly meaningless lives, Amy. It’s really true: The idea of potentially being mauled to death by a wild animal with teeth like steak knives and fingernails like machetes is much less terrifying when you’re single.

Up To 8-Foot Long, 160-Pound Mountain Lion On The Loose In Greenwich, Conn [CBS via VV]

Related: At Least We Don’t Brag [Five Dials]

Oh. Right. Thanks for putting that in perspective for those of us with utterly meaningless lives, Amy. It’s really true: The idea of potentially being mauled to death by a wild animal with teeth like steak knives and fingernails like machetes is much less terrifying when you’re single.

Up To 8-Foot Long, 160-Pound Mountain Lion On The Loose In Greenwich, Conn [CBS via VV]

Related: At Least We Don’t Brag [Five Dials]