Ask an Admin (Admins being the term used for Reddit employees) is a weekly column connecting Redditors and Upvoted readers with the people behind-the-scenes at Reddit. Got a question for Greg the Admin? Email him at askanadmin@reddit.com.

What are you guys in the office competitive about? What are some rivalries?

— Reddit user Wicro

Competitive? Heck, competition is our middle name! Well, actually, there are probably a lot of Admins who have middle names already, and I don’t know that Reddit the company has a middle name, necessarily. Okay, so, competition is the name of our after-work-hours pastime then? That’s an acceptable medium.

There are two major competitions that happen here on the regular: The pie contest, and the Tiki Toss tournament. There are others, to be sure, but these stand out as the pay-per-view, internationally recognized sporting events that spectators clamor to see.

The pie baking contest is a favorite because, well: Everyone loves pie. Luckily, many of Reddit’s employees are world-renowned (AKA at-home) pastry chefs, with amazing skill. Recent pie belt winners include Reddit users 5days and Weffey, both of whom are no longer here with the company, but graciously and admirably reigned as champ.

Weffey recently won with her rendition of an ice box lemon pie.

Past contestants also include user tdohz’s cherry pie:

User taxidermyunicornhead’s lemon meringue:

and krispykrackers’ key lime 3.14 pie:

And if baking isn’t your thing, then you better be amazing at Tiki Toss! Tiki Toss is a drunk man’s game with a very simple premise: take a metal ring, hanging from a string, and toss it onto a hook against a wall. Literally the most basic of games, but with all of the excitement and energy of the Daytona 500.

Scoring is simple. Get a hook, earn 5 points. Hit metal to metal and we call that a ting, 1 point. If you airball, we call it a skyhook, and if you do it twice in a row you’ll lose points.

Our latest tournament shook out well, with 16 competitors entering into our bracket.

All for a chance to be called the Reddit HQ Tiki Toss champion. Our current trophy holder is blabyrinth:

What would make your birthday an awesome day to be alive? #BeExplicit

— Reddit user drachenstern

HashtagBeExplicit, huh?

Well, gee, now I’m nervous. If I tell you, you’re promising not to allow any of this happen IRL? Because I don’t like surprises or over-celebration, so by me assuming that you’re secretly a millionaire plotting to become my best friend ever, I’m forewarning you that I outright reject that ambition.

I’m just kidding—please make all of the following happen on my birthday next year:

First, I’d like to be waking up in a foreign country. Spain, Japan, Australia— or at the very least, if time constraints won’t allow it, waking up in the first class section of a flight headed toward a foreign country.

The day would begin with waffles, whipped cream, and lots of maple syrup. I know what you’re saying—”You’re in a foreign country, why do you want an American breakfast?”

It’s my perfect birthday situation, okay? Bare with me.

I’d enjoy sightseeing a bit, being chauffeured from the country’s top destinations until mid-day, when we’d be taken to the local sports stadium. That’s when it’d be time for my personal game of catch with New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees. Why did he fly overseas just to play catch with me on my birthday? I don’t know, probably because it’s the off-season? And he’s a nice guy?

After that, I’d head back to the hotel and wash up before eating at the closest Michelin-starred restaurant in town, whose chef would create an outstanding pre-fixe menu based on my favorite flavors (…this dream birthday is beginning to border on pretentious, but you said #BEEXPLICIT).

From here, we’d have front row seats to the Weezer concert happening that night, followed by a private, in-hotel improv performance by some current SNL cast members.

Wow—what a day. I’m tired just reading that, but it sounds awesome.

Below, you can actually see what I did for one of my most awesome birthdays ever: