Cerebral Bore - "The Bald Cadaver" (official video)

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Move over, Ross, Chris, Paddy, and Davie. Hello, Simone. As "SmooneGrri", Simone Pluijmers became an Internet sensation by posting YouTube videos of her vocal covers of brutal death metal songs. I wrote about this here, where you can see her "greatest hits" reel.

This young Dutch lady - her MySpace says she is 18 - has been honing her craft for years. She publicly made known her desire to join a band. Her skills drew offers, and she made some live guest appearances, but it took her a while to find the right band to join.

Now, as "Som", she is in Cerebral Bore, a band of Scots. Not only does she follow the abovementioned line of men, she also sounds like one. You can hear for yourself in the above video for "The Bald Cadaver". She sounds so manly that I had to look up reviews of Cerebral Bore's album Maniacal Miscreation to ascertain her presence. Even when she opens up out of her growl into a low midrange, she still sounds like a man. Contrast with Angela Gossow, whose growl is impressively masculine, but whose midrange still sounds feminine.

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"Female that sounds male" only goes so far, however. The real test is if she is a good death metal singer, period. And she is. She has power, clarity (for brutal death metal, anyway), and a strong sense of rhythm. If she's this good at 18, and if she preserves her voice, she could go far (for brutal death metal, anyway).

It helps that Cerebral Bore are a very good band. I'm not even a fan of this style of death metal - Chris Bruni of Profound Lore Records calls it "polished, clean and technically precise and triggered athletic gear/rap influenced pseudo 'death metal' coming out today that should do us all a favour and throw itself off a cliff" - but I thoroughly enjoy the songs on Cerebral Bore's MySpace. (Stream them below.) They are, in fact, not cerebral bores but actual songs with actual riffs. This band could share a stage comfortably with Dying Fetus or Cannibal Corpse.

Surprisingly, Cerebral Bore are unsigned. I've heard lots of signed death metal that's much worse. Evidently they've gotten offers, but none were satisfactory. I can think of any number of labels that could be a good fit - Unique Leader, Neurotic, Grindethic, Sevared, Brutal Bands. Meanwhile, Cerebral Bore have pressed up 500 CDs of Maniacal Miscreation. You can buy it from them here.

— Cosmo Lee

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Thanks to reader U for the tip.

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