Are you still trying to figure out your eclipse plans? Will you be ovulating on Aug. 21? Do you like cats?

If you answered yes to all of these questions, then you might want to answer a Craigslist ad, posted Wednesday in the "Activity Partners" section from the San Francisco Bay Area.

"Wanted woman who wants to conceive child during totality eclipse in OR," reads the questionably-punctuated title of the post.

"I am 40 years of age, caucasian male from Europe. My heritage is strong and pure," it begins. "My looks, instincts, knowledge and strength is 100% pure and 100% lethal."

The man says he's looking for "a worthy female with strong genes, beauty and smarts."

"When totality occurs," writes the poster, "we will have simultaneous orgasms and we will conceive a child that will be on the next level of human evolution."

He is very specific about how the act will happen, even if the exact location is TBD.

"We will make love together, with me and my penis directed towards the sun," he writes. "Everything will be aligned in the local universe. Both of our cosmic orgasmic energy will be aligned with the planets."

While it is unclear if the poster is earnestly looking for a woman to carry a child that is half made from his genetic material, it is clear his understanding of how conception works is a little off.

"In a brief moment of ecstasy," he writes, "we will understand everything, and together, create a new universe. Full of love..."

Fertilization of an egg happens sometime after copulation, at the earliest several hours after sex and sometimes up to five days later. Even a man with 100 percent lethal strength and a woman ovulating at the moment of sex won't become pregnant right away.

And universes, even ones full of love, are not created by sexual intercourse.

The man has a couple other specifics.

"You must like cats," he writes. "Drugs are OK. Nitrous Oxide while we climax and experience totality and conception, is OK with me."

Unfortunately, the post is currently lacking a contact email or number. If you are interested in conceiving a child with the poster from California, point seven clear crystals towards the sun at noon during a waning moon, smudge the area and light a beeswax candle shaped like a raccoon, then scream a primal scream. He will probably find you that way, as long as you can host.

Update, 12:16 p.m.: This post has now been removed from Craigslist.

-- Lizzy Acker

503-221-8052

lacker@oregonian.com, @lizzzyacker