Florida Man High on Flakka Has Sex With Tree Then Proclaims He is God

You have to think he would have a much easier time convincing people that he is God if he would refrain from humping trees.

According to the New York Daily News, a 41-year-old Melbourne man was arrested Friday after he ran through the streets naked, had sex with a tree, proclaimed he was God and assaulted an officer.



Police said Kenneth Crowder was high on a drug known as flakka, a dangerous synthetic drug that is “sweeping the state.”

When a Melbourne police officer arrived on the scene, Crowder allegedly charged after him in an “aggressive manner and identified himself as God.” The officer used his Taser gun on him multiple times, but Crowder was so doped up that he was able to pull the probes out of his body each time.

Crowder then punched the officer in the face, said he was Thor and tried to stab him with his police badge. Luckily, other members of the police force arrived and were able to subdue Crowder before he inflicted any serious injury upon the cop.

Crowder was charged with assault with a deadly weapon on a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest with violence and battery of a law enforcement officer, but it looks like they’re going to let the plow sesh with the tree slide.

This guy has some bad facial hair. So do these guys: