Terrible Real Estate Agent Photographs is a Tumblr by Andy Donaldson devoted to “inexplicably bad property photographs.”

Here are some of the many, many highlights;

1. ‘Reminiscent of the bathrooms in the Palace of Versailles, if the bathrooms in the Palace of Versailles had been decorated on a tight budget in the 1970s.’



2. ‘Of the two options, “bless this house” is the more popular.’

3. ‘A tragic scene. This is what happens when a smurf bursts.’

4. ‘Some awful things must have happened on this toilet for the owners to have erected tidal defences.’

5. The agents are quietly confident that a recent missing persons case is on the verge of being solved.

6. ‘Potential buyers are advised not to think about what happens in this room when your back is turned and the light begins to fade.’

7. ‘For a variety of reasons, this is one shower that should be checked thoroughly before use.’

8. ‘Despite the best efforts of the authorities, occassionally an inmate will manage to list his cell on the open market.’

9. ‘Some people like to read while on the toilet. Others prefer to be inundated by multiple confusing and contradictory reflections of themselves, repeating into infinity.’

10. ‘What does the fox say? It says “I’m the size of a fully grown man, I can stand upright, and I’m not even 100% sure I’m a fox”.’

11. ‘The slow death of the remaining pot-plants has been thoroughly enjoyed by the current owners.’

12. ‘The owners assure us the pool will be dredged before anyone else can move in.’

13. ‘The property has been recently upgraded to withstand the forthcoming zombie apocalypse.’

14. ‘Jean-Paul Sartre said “hell is other people”. It is not. Hell is this patio.’

15. ‘Never again will you miss a delivery because you were on the toilet’

16. ‘On a cold winter’s night, there’s nothing quite like a poorly executed drawing of a log fire.’

17. ‘A rare example of what architectural historians refer to as a “fertility window”.

18. ‘To ward off potential intruders the owners have put a fully stocked drinks trolly immediately in front of a badly-fitted glass door.

19. ‘Despite modernisation, the owners have retained the toilet’s original listening booth – an unusual feature seldom seen nowadays.’

20. ‘Furnished. Particularly well-suited to the hosting of competitive staring or arm-wrestling tournaments.’

and now available for pre-order on Amazon.

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