The TSA has designed a miraculous, terrorism-proof laptop bag that will prevent planes from being exploded by word-processing. Now they want some sucker to build it for them.

• The carrying bag cannot exceed any one of the proposed dimensions – 16 inches in height, 24 inches wide and 36 inches long.

• The materials that make up the bag cannot degrade the quality of the X-ray image of the laptop.

• No straps, pockets, zippers, handles or closures of the bag can interfere with the image of the laptop.

• No electronics, chargers, batteries, wires, paper products, pens or other contents of the bag can shield the image of the laptop.

TSA is inviting bag designers and manufacturers to come up with creative ways to meet these design requirements, but it has also suggested three concepts of its own:

• A bag that would open completely, and lie horizontally on the X-ray belt, such that one side with hold only the laptop.

• A bag that would open completely, leaving the laptop standing vertically, supported by clips.

• A bag that would pull apart in separate compartments, with one compartment containing only the laptop.