No, it’s not the terrible Sorcerer’s Apprentice movie with Nicolas Cage, come on, we wouldn’t do that to you. It’s something MUCH WORSE than that!

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice comes from the same childlike-whimsy mill that brought us The Little Unicorn and Merlin: The Return. Speaking of Merlin: The Return, Merlin returns in this movie, too. There’s just something so compelling, and public domain, about that character! But this time, he’s played by the endlessly magical Robert Davi. And evil sorceress Morgana? None other than Kelly LeBrock, here to finally settle the question posed by Ghosthouse: who’s more popular in Denver, her or Kim Basinger? We’ll find out at last!

We’ll also find out if the little blonde boy who’s in all of these movies fits in at his new school, reconnects with his father, and impresses a girl with his card tricks (okay, we all know that last one’s not happening). Okay, Merlin has returned three more times since we started this paragraph, so hurry up and join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for The Sorcerer’s Apprentice!

Written by:

Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, and Sean Thomason

Contributing Writers:

Jason Miller and Zachary Shatzer