Cheekbone-off

by Jess

Dear James Franco,

Have you ever met

the man with the birthright

to cheekbones?

Skin stretched over bone,

bone etched by the largest collaboration

of dead sculpture artists

in Heaven with a chorus of cherubs

led by James

Dean.

The finished product

is the masterpiece that is James

Marsters.

(Even I would Buffy his

Vampire Slayer.)

Silly James Franco,

your cheekbones were not

constructed divinely.

Give back that silly award

your little fans gave you.

Give it up for James

Dean, James

Marsters, James

Van Der Beek (not really him,

he’s just an underappreciated

James).

A shout-out is heard

across the ocean as Benedict

Cumberbatch and Tom

Hiddleston and Matt

Smith bump

cheekbones in celebration

for James

Marsters, winner

of the American cheekbone-off.

Let’s hear it for

the cheekbones.