“Hang on a minute, officer,” as someone would always say at the end of all the best/worst television cop shows. “There’s one thing I still don’t understand.”

Even if Manchester United’s version of events in the David de Gea transfer saga is completely true, even if only Real Madrid can be blamed for the last-minute breakdown of the deal, when all the finger-pointing and counter-claiming has subsided, it still means Louis van Gaal’s solution to his goalkeeping problem – some might use the word crisis after Sergio Romero’s display at Swansea – was to bring in a reserve performer with no Premier League experience on the last day of the transfer window.

Perhaps that description is a tad harsh on Keylor Navas, who earned his move to Madrid with some impressive performances for Costa Rica in the World Cup last summer, though he mostly did so by demonstrating agile reflexes and uncanny anticipation when stopping shots. He did not do it by dominating his penalty area, coming out early to claim crosses or sorting out problems through his quick decision-making, which is why he has not been attracting the attention of many Premier League clubs.

There is a question mark, to say the least, over Navas’s suitability for English football, just as there is over Romero’s. Yet if Real Madrid had processed their paperwork properly those two would now be United’s goalkeeping options for the rest of the year. De Gea’s proposed move to Madrid may have been drawn out until the last day by the Spanish club’s intransigence, yet United have known all summer they needed a top quality replacement, and accepting the offer of a makeweight – Navas is 28 and has made just eight appearances for Real – with hours to go before the deadline was hardly planning of the highest order.

It is almost as if Van Gaal was prepared to stick with Romero, despite the reservations of others, until he saw his performance at Swansea and decided to panic. That thought process may even have been repeated at the other end of the pitch too. United may well have been quietly tracking Anthony Martial for months, and it is probably true that Monaco would have been unwilling to sell while they were still involved in the Champions League, yet £36m rising to £56m for a teenager with barely a dozen goals to his name is some acceleration of interest.

United would doubtless deny this with all the vehemence they are currently bringing to bear on Florentino Pérez and his pals, but it is impossible not to suspect that Van Gaal watched Wayne Rooney miss that late chance at the Liberty – the one where the entire country expected United to draw level and scrape a point – and suddenly realised his calculations for the season might be completely awry.

“Get Monaco on the phone, and no shilly-shallying about the money,” he might have barked at the final whistle. “We can afford almost anything, except another Pedro.”

The enormous outlay for a promising yet still largely unknown teenager naturally prompted the rest of Europe to fall about laughing, wondering whether the English would always have more money than sense. It has been pointed out before that several clubs, not to mention agents, are making mega-millions out of buying the right sort of player relatively cheaply, then holding on to him until English interest arrives like the cavalry, usually on transfer deadline day. Even leaving the money aside for a moment, it is hard to believe that the last day of the window operates around Europe with the same pantomime fervour it produces in England, with players driving to thwarted suitors’ car parks in pointless protest or tweeting their 11th-hour determination to go on strike.

Liverpool were by no means the worst offenders in the window just passed; they made some decent signings and they made them fairly early, yet there was still some-last minute action as they processed the paperwork to complete the signing of Allan Rodrigues de Souza within the deadline extension. Turns out the Brazilian has been training at Melwood all summer and has even played in a pre-season friendly, but there seems to be a need to be seen to be doing something positive when the window creaks to a close – slams shut is the complete opposite of what actually happens – instead of leaving the poor Sky guy out on the doorstep with nothing to report.

With Chelsea having been rebuffed over John Stones and Arsenal apparently happy just to have Petr Cech, it is being widely claimed that Manchester City “won” this summer’s window. If they did, they paid handsomely for the privilege. Raheem Sterling might be worth £45m – based on the Martial business he already looks an absolute snip – though Nicolás Otamendi and Kevin De Bruyne look somewhat overpriced at £32m and £55m respectively.

Not that Valencia and Wolfsburg will be complaining. If it was financial fair play considerations that prevented City from picking up De Bruyne for £20m or so when he left Chelsea 18 months ago, what has subsequently happened merely underlines the unworkability of Uefa’s ill-fated experiment.

Yet City, with all their money, cannot really be judged alongside everyone else. Neither can Chelsea, with all their money and their absurd (33 at the last count) number of players out on loan. Memo to Michel Platini: forget FFP, do something about the scandalously lax loan regulations that pertain across Europe.

Of the clubs who have to balance the books at the end of the day, Crystal Palace have made a blistering start to the season while West Ham look to have done some of the canniest trading on the last day. But let’s not forget Swansea. They did beat Manchester United after all. And they deserved to. And they are now up to fourth as a result. Best of all, for anyone who happens to think that Premier League football has become a bloated parody of itself, venal yet wasteful at the same time, both the Swans’ goals against United came from players signed on free transfers.

Yes, the exceptional André Ayew, Ghanaian footballer of the year in his time, and Bafétimbi Gomis, currently allowing Swansea to bank the £29m they received for Wilfried Bony with barely a backward glance, both cost nothing. Zilch. £36m rising to £56m less than the new teammate Rooney had never heard of. No last-day drama. Just good business. Results on the pitch so far have suggested that this season the so-called smaller clubs are capable of teaching the Champions League elite (well, most of them) a lesson.

Let’s hope the same thing can soon be said of results in the transfer market. The big names at the top might be stamping their feet and throwing their money around, but the rank and file are actually giving Premier League football a good name.