WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump said on Friday that his I.Q. is “even higher” now that he knows that the United States Virgin Islands are part of the United States.

“Quite frankly, a few weeks ago, when I learned that Puerto Rico was a part of the U.S., I thought that that boosted my I.Q. to a whole new level,” Trump said. “Now that I also know about the Virgin Islands, my number must be off the charts.”

He said that he was eager to retake his I.Q. test because of “all the amazing things I learned this week.”

“For example, I just learned that the stock market can’t reduce the national debt,” he said. “If there was a question about that on an I.Q. test, I would nail that question.”

Trump said that his one concern was that an I.Q. test does not exist that can accurately measure his ballooning intelligence.

“I always knew that I was scary smart, but now I think my brain is terrifying,” he said.