Like death and taxes, there is another predictable, yet bizarre reality to life in New York City — machete attacks.

Just last month, a deranged thug pulled out a machete he had stashed in an umbrella, and hacked away at another man at a Bronx taco joint, cops said.

It wasn’t some urban anomaly — the gory incident is one of at least 24 incidents involving machetes over the past five years, The Post found.

“They’re cheap to buy and easy to get,” one law-enforcement source said of the 1- to 2-foot-long knives. “And with the easing off of stop-and-frisk, if guys are not getting patted down as much, they might be more brazen and carry them in their jacket or hide them in their pants.”

In the city, machetes — agricultural tools used to clear brush or crack open a coconut — are wielded by lunatics, crooks and gangbangers such as the Mara Salvatrucha, or MS-13, to intimidate rivals. They’re even used by store owners to defend their businesses.

Despite their imposing size, the steel slashers are easy for criminals to conceal. “I have seen cops walk right by machetes hidden [below] the curb,” the source said.

Possessing a switchblade or gravity knife — considered weapons in the state penal code — can land a person in jail, but carrying a machete in public would likely only result in a ticket, according to Eugene O’Donnell, a law and police-studies professor at John Jay College. “You get a ticket on the grounds that the blade is more than 4 inches,” which is a city administrative-code violation, O’Donnell said. A violator would have to show up at court and face a maximum penalty of 15 days in jail or a few hundred dollars fine.

The slap on the wrist is troublesome, he said.

“It’s a loophole that is very favorable to a person with prior criminal history who would presumably know to pick weapons that are not prohibited,” he said. “It’s certainly cause for concern because of the brutal injuries you can cause someone. It really should be looked at.”

And after a spate of machete attacks in 2008, then-Brooklyn Councilwoman Diana Reyna talked about a citywide machete ban, but the legislation never came to pass. Reyna, now the deputy Brooklyn borough president, told The Post the blades should not be sold to anyone under 21 years old.

“The opportunity to restrict the volume of machetes on the streets of New York City is important,” she said. “There’s a responsibility behind using such a tool.”

The blades remain legal to buy and can be found at hardware stores for under $20.

William Padone, owner of Van Nest Hardware in the Bronx said he scrutinizes everyone who comes in looking to buy a machete.

“Not to say we profile, but we try to figure out what they are using it for, what they’ll be doing with it,” said Padone. “If they don’t have a good answer, they’re not getting it.”

Part of the twisted allure of machetes is their masculine appeal, experts said. And it’s no wonder — the blade’s name is derived from the Spanish word for sledgehammer — ‘macho.’

“They put fear into people — you don’t actually have to use it,” said Arnaldo Salinas, a founding member of the Guardian Angels who runs a security company.

“MS-13, or any of the Latino gangs, in their native countries, this is their weapon of choice,” he explained. Some people, when they get here, they revert to what they know.”

Machetes can offer a good defense too — after Hurricane Sandy, some Coney Island residents, such as Roberto Aviles, used their trusty blades to defend their homes against looters when the power went out.

“Machetes come from our country — Puerto Rico,” Aviles, 77 said. “People from there use them a lot. It’s like a souvenir there. They use it to cut the sugar cane.”

“I don’t use it for anything anymore,” he said. “I put it away.”

No one messed with him in the tense weeks after Sandy, but he’s not giving his machete all the credit.

“When people want to do something to you, nothing will scare them.”