We have just moved from a flat to an entire house, all 1,300 sq ft of it, and with home ownership has come quite a few revelations.

How grown-up it feels to go up and down stairs, for example. How lovely it is not to hear every cough, spit and clomp of your upstairs neighbours, or be involved in bin politics (“no, it was your recycling that got torn open by foxes last night, not mine.

What do you mean we’re the only people in the building who read newspapers and drink bottles of wine that cost more than £5? Honestly, 25-year-olds today…”)