7 Swans Scientists Should Turn Into Worms

Swans are beautiful birds, but a lot of swans would be better if they were worms instead of swans. Using science, it is important to transform several swans into earthworms so that they become better. Here are seven swans that scientists should turn into worms.

This swan is pretty good, but can you imagine if a couple of scientists did experiments to it so that it became a bunch of worms instead? Everyone would be jumping for joy!

Look, we don’t know how it works, we’re not PhDs or anything, but let’s get a couple of eggheads from MIT or Harvard or whatever into this pond so that they can start using their math and physics to turn this swan into a big pile of worms. We’d like this swan to be worms, please and thank you!

Allow us to propose a simple equation known as ClickHole’s Swan-To-Worm Conjecture: SWANS + SCIENCE + THANK YOU = WORMS. Someone from NASA should use this equation to turn this swan into a plump, juicy worm.

Hey, poindexters! Why don’t you put down the calculator and get to work making this swan into a big pile of worms! When this swan is worms, that’s when we’ll be smiling!

Here’s a simple hypothesis for all you scientists out there. Consider the following:

Swans = Always Squawking + Constantly Honking And Generally Having A Stink (Bad Smell)

Now, on the other hand, consider this equation:

Worms = Rarely Squawking + Honking Only During Emergencies And Generally Having A Smell Of Nothing (No Stink/No Smell)

These are known as ClickHole’s Squawking And Honking Theorems (For Swans And Worms), and they prove conclusively that this swan should be transformed into a worm using physics and dry ice.

Okay, hear us out, scientists. We took the liberty of sketching up a diagram of a scientific process for turning this swan into a worm. Using physics and zoology, simply turn this swan into Albert Einstein. From there, proceed to turn Albert Einstein into a jack-o-lantern, and then it’s a simple matter of using equations and test tubes to turn the jack-o-lantern into worms. It cannot get any simpler!

Let’s get this straight…scientists can put a man on the moon and invent the internet, but it still can’t make this particular swan become worms? That is simply inexcusable. Completely embarrassing. Just make these swans become worms using numbers and chemicals! It’s so simple and yet you refuse to do it! All the scientists of the world should be ashamed of themselves.