In visit in Canterlot, Twilight Cadance were trotting and wandering around in the halls of the castle, waiting for princess Celestia to end her daily day court. Two royal guards of the respectively of the day and the night were chatting of the ins and out of the castles, rumors and gossips aplenty.



"I'm telling you! That mare is trouble! We caught her four times this month trying to intrude! Four times!" The batpony guard chuckled.

"You think this is trouble? We found out that two of our guards were flying off their duty and do you know why?"

The guard kept his gaze in front of him. "No? For doughnuts?" The batpony guard laughed. "What? What did I say?"

"We sent four of our guys to follow them and they caught them in the nastiest place inside Canterlot."

"Huh? What part of Canterlot? The aristocrats?" The bat guard put a hoof on his friends muzzle.

"Keep it down! If they would have heard what you just said..." The batpony removed his hoof.

"What? Do you have any idea how nasty these riches can get?"

"Oh. Do I know that. Because you see..."

The bigger guard nudged the smaller one. "Shhh! The princess are coming our way." Them both remained quiet and stoic while Cadance and Twilight walked in front of them, chit chatting. Their ears and eyes opens they kept the pose. Twilight was asking something to her older sister-in-law.



"Say, Cadance... As the princess of love..."

Cadance giggled. "Twilight. That's some kind of silly title. I'm the Crystal princess now."

"I know. But, as being both of them..." Twilight stopped.

Cadance sighed. "What do you want to know?"

Twilight took a glance at the both guards. They remained rigid while the princess of friendship shown a malicious smile. "Is there anything interesting you know about guards? And I mean... crunchy details..." The guard's eyes got wider in surprise, her duty obligating them to remain stoic and rigid. But ears wide open.

"What do you want to know? Wait! Are you having a crush on a guard?" The both guards made a quick glance and the princesses and themselves.

"What? No no no. Simple curiosity."

"Here? In the middle of a hall in Canterlot? Why not at my place or your?"

"Hmm." She took a quick glance at the pair. "The question came back in my mind when I saw them."

"Twilight!"

"What? I'm not a foal anymore! And I'm getting bored."

"We could go back at the library." The guards quietly hoping for that turn of event.

"Don't try to change the subject. I'm listening." Cadance let go another sigh. She then check around for any other ponies by kept her yes on the guards. "Don't worry about them. I'm sure they keep it for themselves and... learn something pretty pretty interesting." She said with a grin. The both guards stared at each others.

"Fine. What do you want to know?"

"What different are they..." Twilight wanted to make sure nopony else was around and check her surroundings. "... in bed." They guard clenched their teeth.

Cadance sighed again. "Of course. Why I'm not surprised?"

"Go on."

"The... " She took a glance at the day guard. "... royal guards get pretty much pent up after all those hours on duty and watching all the mares passing. Us included. So... I heard that some of them desperately so much trying to remain stoic and... you know what... that some simply.... ran away pretending a urgency at the court or a intruder. " The batpony stared at his friend who stared back with a very subtle nod. The night one quietly chuckled.

"What about the night guards?"

"They guard at night and can look in the obscurity as clear and us in the day. So, it is unavoidable that some may simply abuse of the situation. You know the saying "At night all cats are gray"? Some of them even dare to remove them armor and find a... ahem! quiet place without anypony noticing if it is a batpony or a pony." The day guard dared a short grin. The bapony began to slightly blush. "Which bring another aspect of the batponies. Since they are most active at night and most ponies do... make foals at night..."

"What about it? Oh!" She began to blush.

Cadance grinned. "Yes. They are the most 'frisky' at night. But not everypony knows that! Can you imagine if they knew? We would have many more batponies foals in Equestria." She winked while the batpony guard blushed more.

Twilight covered her mouth with her hooves to covered her giggling. "Oh. My. Celestia!"

"But I heard something was treacherous about them." She giggled. "They scream at the end."

"W-what?"

"Yep. It's like... let me try... EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Twilight laughed while the night pony was turning crimson, the other trying his best to retain his laugher, wrinkling his eyes. Twilight took a breath.

"So, if you were not married, you would choose..."

"A day guard." The guards eyes got wider with surprise as much as the purple princess.

"Huh? Why?"

"They..." She too a quick glance at the guards before putting a hoof to the side of her mouth to cover what she was about to say "... are bigger." Cadance stared at her with a smile. Twilight looked at her with confusion. "Ask Shining." She said with a grin. Twilight blushed.

"C-cadance!"

"What? You asked me."

"I never asked that about my brother!"

"Oh! You would eventually ask me."

"No, I'm not!"

She put a hoof on her mouth. "Oops! Too late." She let a innocently smile while Twilight glared back.



Suddenly, a guard galloped in their direction, calling their name. "Princess Cadance! Princess Twilight Sparkle!"

Twilight let a sigh. "Please I told you to not..." But she was interrupted.

"Princess Celestia sent me to inform you to meet her in the royal gardens." They both stared at each others.

Twilight asked first. "What happened? She usually go there after a session when she is upset."

"Uh... Some... aristocrats talked about some... conjugal affair with one... no two of the guards and asked the princess for them to be executed as soon as possible." The pair of guards couldn't hold a troat sound of surprise.

The princesses gasped. Cadance walked upfront. "Oh my. Why she didn't ask about my advice?"

"I can't say, your highness. But I can say they she put them back into their places." The guards smiled.

"Good. Thank you for informing us. We'll be going shortly." The guard bowed and trotted back.

"Wow! What a coincidence, huh?" Twilight looked at her old sibling.

"Too much. These riches..." She sighed. "Come on Twilight. Let go meet Celestia." Cadance began to head for the garden. But the younger one remained at its place.

"Wait." Cadance stopped and looked behind her shoulder.

"What is it?"

"Which lasts longer?" The two guard tend the ear.

Cadance remained crestfallen and talked with a indifferent voice. "Both are the same."

"And what about...." She was interrupted by the pink princess.

"Another time. Celestia is waiting for us."

"B-but..."

"You could ask them." She gestured the guard with her muzzle and left with a smile. Twilight blushed and quickly trotted by her friend.

"No way! I don't want them to consider me a naughty princess!" They both left the guard by themselves.



The royal guard talked first. "Too late, princess Twilight."

"Wow! Are you penting right now?"

"Shut up!" The batpony laugh. "Wait! Were these guards the ones who were talking about?"

"I'm afraid so. Like I said, the rich ones can come up with nasty ideas. The mares was paying them for some 'afterdark' fun."

"If I ever see you with my mare friend, I swear..."

"Whoa! Calm down! I won't, dude. I swear."

"Good!" They remained silent for a minute. "Hard cider tonight?"

"Sounds great. It's your turn to pay anyway."



Beautiful work. I may have gone too far there. Heh. It this story bothers you for its content, please just tell me. I'll remove it, then.