In the world of superpowers, I totally drew the short straw. Barry got super speed. Ronnie could fly and shoot fireballs. Me? I get headaches and nightmare visions of people being killed. That’s not a superpower – it’s cause for therapy! But, my mom always said that the glass is half-full, so maybe it’s time to quit wallowing and see what this Vibe dude is capable of. Step one: Get in shape!

Joe hooked me up with a guest pass to the CCPD gym. Thanks to a donation from the Thawne family, it’s stocked with the latest exercise equipment (though I swear some of the machines are straight-up instruments of torture). I thought I’d beat the rush and get there early, but by nine o’clock the place was already hopping. My electric blue tracksuit stood out like a neon thumb amidst the sea of gray CCPD-issued sweats.

Where to begin? I’ve never much of a runner (minus chasing down the ice cream truck or sprinting from my neighbor’s bloodthirsty Papillon) so I nixed the treadmills. The punching bags were all taken by the beat cops and the stationary bikes had been co-opted by forensics. I headed over to a rack of weights – those seemed pretty safe. I’d finally snagged Kendra’s digits so maybe I’ll surprise her one our first date with two tickets to the gun show! Pow pow! I grabbed a set of 10lb dumbbells and started pumping away to the beat of “Eye of the Tiger.” I was really gettin’ into the zone when P. Spivs, Barry’s new girl, popped up beside me. She grabbed the twenty-pounders and started doing some squats and lunges while lifting the weights over her head. That girl is ripped.

The endorphins were flowing, so I asked Patty if she’d be game for some light sparring. Two seconds later, she had me pinned down, spread-eagle, with a knee on my chest and a triumphant gleam in her eye. Looks like Barry’s not the only lightning fast one in that relationship! She offered to teach me some hand-to-hand combat maneuvers, like the deadly elbow strike and crushing ax stomp. I was really getting into the superhero swing (Zoom better watch his back!) when things went south – Patty was a little over-enthusiastic demonstrating the nutcracker choke and I may or may not have passed out…

I came to five minutes later, but by that point I was so sore and dizzy that I decided to call it quits for the day. As I refueled with a well-earned Big Belly burger, I got to thinking: my power is mental, so why should I worry about getting buff? If my experience at the gym is any indication, in a confrontation with Zoom, I’d be dead meat. For real, Barry’s the only who stands a chance. But with him out there fighting, he’ll need some serious brainpower helping him out! Maybe I should focus on exercising my brain. How about some Sudoku, crossword puzzles, or a stimulating game of chess? Yeah… that seems much less painful.