A Beard Disaster On Ice: Outrage Brewing!

BY Adam Barraclough

Beard Violence in the NHL: Joe Thornton's Beard Ripped Out

Shocking footage of some serious beard violence has emerged from last night’s matchup between the San Jose Sharks and the Toronto Maple Leafs leaving bearded fans in an uproar! The match took a bitter turn as Shark’s center Joe Thornton lost a sizeable chunk of his beard in a scuffle with Leafs’ center Nazem Kadri. Bearded audience members watched in abject terror as Kadri yanked free a fistful of Thornton’s famed beard, dropping the hefty wad to the ice as the two were finally separated. And officials did nothing.

Okay, well, not nothing, but while both players were given a five minute penalty no additional charges were levied, prompting angry fans to wonder “Does the League even care about beards?” In this era of awareness that players are putting their very bodies and facial hair on the line for our entertainment, it’s unacceptable that injuries involving total beard separation are not granted the same attention as say those involving severed limbs, loss of an eye or decapitation.

We reached out to NHL officials moments ago, and have yet to hear anything back. The silence is deafening.

What’s more, this follicular violence may have been entirely prevented had the League enforced acceptable practices regarding beard grooming. In this manufactured outrage some are losing sight of the fact that the solution was there the whole time, in the form of beard oil. Not only does it nourish and strengthen hair, it provides a shine that’s distracting during on-ice altercations and its lubricating properties may be shown to lessen an opponent's ability to grasp and pull the hair effectively.

A decidedly non-local company, Can You Handlebar, has decided to step up to the plate and provide the equipment manager for the Sharks enough beard oil for his team, in the hopes that conditioning can become a part of their regular grooming routine and possibly prevent such tragedies in the future. They are also sending their sincere condolences to Joe in this time of solemn reflection.

The company is hoping to provide this outreach to all NHL teams as PR opportunities afford themselves. A company rep was quoted as saying “We hope that someday the only things dropped on the ice are pucks and hats.”

Can You Handlebar can be reached for additional comment at canyouhandlebar.com

THIS ARTICLE IS PART OF CAN YOU HANDLEBAR’S ONGOING EDUCATIONAL AND LIFESTYLE BLOG, READ MORE AT THEBEARDMENTOR.COM

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