James Charles Loads has been found not guilty of rape and assault, the jury accepting he had reasonable grounds for not realising the complainant wanted him to stop.

A man who hit, choked and had rough sex with a woman has been found not guilty of rape and assault.

In a case that drew attention to sexual role play, the jury accepted the accused might have had reasonable grounds for not realising the woman wanted him to stop. That was despite her saying so.

James Charles Loads, 22, was on trial in the Palmerston North District Court this week, facing six charges, including rape, assault and unlawful sexual connection.

The defence argued the pair had a "safe word" – avocado – and the woman didn't use it to end the torment.

READ MORE: Rape or consensual rough sex the key question in Palmerston North trial

Defence lawyer Stephen Iorns said the woman led Loads to believe she was into rough sex and role play.

"These were two people who were out of their depth."

The court heard the pair had known each other for about a year and they had agreed to experiment with role play and rough sex.

Crown prosecutor Truc Tran said the trial came down to whether Loads had reasonable grounds to determine whether the woman had given consent.

The pair did not discuss having sex prior to the complainant visiting Loads' house. Instead, Loads assumed it was part of the role play when, in reality, it was not, Tran said.

Sex therapist Edit Horvath told the court submissive partners were encouraged to resist rough sex and to role play by using force and words such as "no" and "stop".

Only code words could end the "alternative paradigm", she said, as normal words and actions didn't hold their typical meanings.

"'No' is part of the fantasy they're acting out."

The woman in the case had cried, vomited and pleaded Loads to stop.

The court heard the pair had sexual relations five weeks earlier, when they had introduced sexual role playing.

They exchanged messages daily in the weeks leading up to the rape complaint, and some were sexual in nature.