A local bishop has attacked new atheists for their laziness. “I’m entirely bored of people saying to me that all Roman Catholic priests are kiddie-fiddlers and forwarding me copies of Willy Wonka condescension memes involving the phrase ‘beardy sky man’,” said the Most Reverend Stanislaus McNamee, Bishop of Dunstable. “Is that it? Am I honestly expected to renounce my faith over a two minute YouTube clip of George Carlin?”

His comments were endorsed by the Church of England in the form of Harold’s vicar Rev. Tansy Forster. “I used to love a really good debate about what it all means,” she told us. “But now all I get is sneers about sky fairies and my magic book of fairy tales. It’s not exactly C.S Lewis vs. Elizabeth Anscombe is it?”

“It’s the atheist women I feel sorry for,” said Qaasim Mohammed, Iman at Dunstable Central Mosque. “Atheism appears to be very oppressive towards them. I see Hicks, Hitchens, Dawkins, Chomsky, Dennett et al being followed and celebrated but no women. They don’t seem to be allowed a voice and I find that very sad.”

“The lack of, for want of a better phrase, an opposition, is troubling,” Bishop McNamee said. “Increasingly I am coming across atheists who don’t have the first clue what they’re talking about and endlessly repeat the same things over and over again without seeming to understand them. It’s like they’ve been brain washed.”

“Religion’s been around for a very long time,” said Rev Forster. “I don’t think putting a slightly mocking Family Guy quote about it as your next Facebook update is going to hasten its end. Poor new atheists, that’s probably quite a depressing thought. Still, we all have our cross to bear. Or in their case not.”

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