Because I’m an idiot sometimes, I got crossed up on when the last two contests were going to run, so the third is opening a day late; accordingly, the final two are both being pushed back a day.

We are loved. Through the extreme generosity of a very cool friend of the site who has asked to remain anonymous, a substantial bundle of Babymetal merch has fallen into my hands with the purpose of spreading the love far and wide. And sure, I could just give it away, but where’s the fun in that?

So here’s the deal: Beginning today, we’re going to have ourselves a series of contests, with a neat-o prize pack available to the winner of each. There’ll be a submission period followed by voting by the readership; yep, though I’d love to be the sole arbiter of what’s greatest, it’s your peers who will be the judges.

The general rules are simple: Create (or share what you’ve already created, if applicable) the required deliverable for each contest and post it in its respective thread on the forums within the submission period, and then voting will follow. If your creation wins, I’ll ship your prize to you. Particular considerations for each contest are in the descriptions below; unless otherwise noted, there’s no cap on an individual’s submissions.

The first two contests are currently open — hop to it!

Welcome, New Fan Gift Pack

Do you know a new Babymetal fan, or do you know somebody who you’d like to see take the step from casual observer to die-hard kitsune? Maybe a child or young relative you’d like to set on the dark road of heavy idol love Babymetal fandom? This is the prize for you.

So how do you get it? I recognize that not everybody is loaded with either the technical skill or the means to turn out a cool piece of art, but everybody can have an intriguing thought. Babymetal just won Kerrang’s “Best Live Band” award, but overwrought think pieces are dumb; I want to hear from you:

If this whole idols-go-heavy thing has taught us anything, it’s that the homicidol scene as basically no limits on concept or sound. Like, what is even happening in this song? Why is there a group of demented clown idols trying to get to 666 Twitter followers?

Pretend that you’re a manager/producer, and the task before you is to create an idol group that’s going to blow people’s minds. You have deep pockets, and your agency is willing to do whatever it takes to sign your dream roster, if you have one. With that in mind:

What’s the concept? How many members? Who are the members?* Who’s leader, center, etc., if applicable? And what’s your basic plan to succeed? OR Tell the story of how you did succeed.

Basically, it’s an idol fantasy team. When voting opens, your peers will be asked to consider your creativity in the concept and just how amazeballs your group probably would, in fact, be. Think way outside the box if necessary; all I ask is that you respect the creations of those who submit before you and not pretty much wind up riffing on the same concepts over and over again — I want us to share and enjoy each other’s ideas, not try to one-up each other. I recognize the risks that this could blow up in our faces a little, but it’s worth a try.

Submissions open June 16-22

Voting opens June 23

To those thinking, “This is not a fair thing; I don’t know very many of these groups at all!”, I reply, “IF ONLY THERE WERE A WEBSITE THAT HAS INFORMATION AND MUSIC OF LIKE SEVERAL DOZEN AND COUNTING HEAVY IDOL GROUPS” and trail off while winking suggestively and pointing at my Official Homicidols.com Letterman Jacket.

*I was going to say, Must be currently active, but let’s expand the pool even more and say Must Be Alive instead.

Prizes:

The “Three Crowns” poster, 12×18 in. Babymetal’s Metal Resistance CD, USA edition This Metal Resistance cover T-shirt, size XL

SUBMIT

The Collector Pack

This is hilarious, right?

Of course it is. And we need more stuff like it. Babymetal, yes, and also as irreverent as possible, but there’s a shortage of funny stuff about the likes of BiSH and Kamen Joshi and PassCode and so on, too. These things help new people connect, which means that we need more of it. Or, you know, I guess you could do epic, too, if you want to be a jerk about it.

You have your favorite groups, and you’re online and probably at least passingly aware of common joke memes, OR you’re acutely aware of what it is that makes your favorite so inspiring. What can you contribute? The directive is to make us laugh, make us smile, fire us up, whatever you can accomplish. Voting will be directed toward a Best In Show kind of orientation: Who did the best job of communicating their point and getting the desired reaction out of the voter?

Crank up your meme generators and/or gif makers and post your submission in this thread on the forums.

Submissions open June 16-22

Voting opens June 23

Prizes:

This Babymetal pin set Trucker hat! (adjustable) Wall of Death T-shirt from the 2015 Babymetal World Tour, size M (mask not included)

These next two are more challenging, designed for the most creative among us:

I Want to Look Like a Babymetal Roadie Pack

In honor of Babymetal’s collaboration with Rob Halford, what’s your ideal scenario of idols joining legends of metal — or punk or hardcore or really anything — on stage? Taking a page from the Homicidol Mashup, use your image editing software of choice to create the image that best tells the story of our favorite kinds of idols joining with real legends of rock for a mind-blowing combo shot. Is it a still from an epic concert stage? A promo poster? Album art? A candid or even modeled photo? Let your imagination do the walking and your skills do the talking.

To allow for the juices to flow a little bit, I’m giving you all some lead time before submissions really open up; I’ll create a separate post when this one comes open next week.

Submissions open June 20-26

Voting opens June 27

Prizes:

This trippy The One-style shirt from the 2016 World tour, size XL This boss jacket, size XL

and …

I Love the Sound of Kawaii Thunder Pack

For the truest connoisseur, the lover of sound, those who want every bass note to shake them to the core, I have our most ambitious contest to date. So ambitious, in fact, that I’m giving it two full weeks of lead time before submissions are even open.

I want you to make music. Show your talent.

You have two options:

Play some of this music! Do a play-through video, or record a cover of a homicidol classic. The option is yours, but I caution: Go as awesome as possible. Degree of difficulty matters. Further in the spirit of Babypriest, can you mix together a great song from the homicidol tradition with a rock classic? Be creative; if idol groups can collaborate in unexpected ways, who’s to say that there isn’t some potential magic in ayumikurikamaki meets Rage Against the Machine?

The requirement is one original track (on your honor that it’s your creation), shared on YouTube or Soundcloud or etc. I’ll have a submission thread open in the contests forum; just stick your links in there. I’m also going to limit this to two submissions per person.

Submissions open June 27-July 3

Voting opens July 4

Prizes:

Metal Resistance on vinyl like you really want it Trucker hat! (adjustable) This boss jacket, size XL

Questions? Ask in the comments below or on each thread when it’s open. Or murmur glumly to yourself.

1+