I have a hobby. Sometimes I sign up for the craziest e-mail lists I can find, in order to discover new and exciting bits of crazy to share with you folks. And this week? Oh, this week I got a real winner.

Joshua P. Warren, author of such fine, fine books as Use The Force: A Jedi’s Guide to the Law of Attraction, How to Hunt Ghosts: A Practical Guide, and The Secret Wisdom of Kukulkan, has let me in on a special offer that I am sharing with you today.

Do you remember the Wishing Box? The one with the amazingly crazy video that looked like some kind of amazing parody humour? It’s back.

And NOW IT HAS A TOGGLE SWITCH.

AND A BLINKING LIGHT.

That’s right, this “wishing machine,” a box with knobs that literally do nothing and which supposedly helps your wishes come true through the thoroughly discredited and entirely absurd power of “Radionics” is now infinitely more effective because now it has a blinking light to let you know it’s “working.”

The Wishing Machine “E-Lux”model, the website tells us (you seriously can’t even make this stuff up), has an added light and toggle switch because, well… here:

Because it feels good!

And the better it feels, the faster it works!

When you’re done tuning your Model-E, nothing feels as great as having one final step…

You flip the toggle switch and see the blinking LED fire up.

Instantly, you feel your intention skyrocket through the universe.

And when you put the machine away, you know it’s sitting there, plugged in, with that LED blinking, to subconsciously remind you that it’s working in the background for you 24/7.

THAT’s why we think this new model is SO powerful!

All for the low, low price of *drumroll please*

…

…

Look I just can’t. It’s $349.

I “can’t even,” and be honest, neither can you.

Anyway here’s the video for the old one.

And the new one, with the light.

Sigh. Maybe I’ll get one. I’ll use it to visualize people never spending their money on this crap ever again.

Happy Monday, everyone.

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Richard Ford Burley is a writer and doctoral candidate at Boston College, as well as an editor at Ledger, the first academic journal devoted to Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies. In his spare time he writes about science, skepticism, feminism, and techno-futurism here at This Week In Tomorrow.