

You lookin’ for a big ol Texas house to spread out and take a dump in a different bathroom each day of the week and two different toilets on Sunday? MLB lifer LaTroy Hawkins would like you to buy his 11 bathroom, 13,000 sq. ft. house with insane grounds for a cool $4,000,000. I know what you’re thinking here: How in thee hell did LaTroy Hawkins build a 13,000 sq. ft. house in Texas with all the insane trimmings.

21 MLB seasons.

I’ll repeat that…21 MLB seasons.

$47,000,000 in earnings. A baseball pension that would make your head spin. He never made more than $4.5 million in a season, but he knew that check was coming year after year. Bionic arm. 1,042 appearances.

And one of the most insane houses we’ve ever posted. From his realtor:

Unique, CUSTOM, sprawling, executive estate on 5.8 acres in gated community with private gate.Exterior includes amazing driveup,Pool with slide,water feature,outdoor Kitchen with fireplace, firepit,stocked pond,sport-tennis courts,separate barn.Carefully planned, designed & executed floorplan inside with exquisite moldings & millwork, imported flooring & counters, stunning lighting,designer features thruout including walls,ceilings,etc. Hobby Room,Beauty Salon & Bedroom with private entrance. Safe Room. 3 Utility Areas.

Did you see the Jackie Robinson mural? Did you see the workout room? Did you see that pond that’s gotta be filled with monster bass? Did you happen to see the basketball court?

Mortgage: You’re looking at $15,000 with 20% down (which is $800,000).