Photo: Paul Morigi/Getty Images

For a while there, it was hoped that Ivanka Trump would be “a moderating influence” on her deranged, infirm father. Around the time of the Republican National Convention, the press and centrist politicians couldn’t stop lauding her poise, surmising that if Donald Trump could raise someone like her, maybe this whole “totally incompetent, clearly senile, racist, and possibly illiterate president” thing might not go so bad after all.




Obviously, we live on the other side of those dreams, not only because Trump’s presidency has been an unmitigated disaster for women, people of color, the environment, anyone who is not massively wealthy, and America’s standing as a global superpower, but also because we have gotten much, much more face time with Ivanka Trump, who is not good at anything. One of the things she is very bad at is talking. Her soft-focus, puff piece interviews frequently come across like monologues generated from an A.I., stacking up words in an eerily unconvincing facsimile of human eloquence. Vice politics writer Eve Peyser recently assembled the evidence against the young Trump’s ability to use words correctly, and folks, it is damning stuff.





We would add to this list her penchant for using the word “architect” as a verb, as well as her misuse of the word “punk” to describe wearing a flannel shirt once. There’s also the fact that when she does talk, she looks like this:


We look forward to further proof that she was grown in a vat somewhere the next time she attempts to sound like an actual human.