TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

Friday night’s kick ons have ground to a halt this morning after a local man has failed to successfully pair his iPhone with the house’s Bluetooth speakers.

“Wait, turn the speakers off and on” suggested the wannabe DJ.

“Ok, try now?” replied his apprentice.

“Nah still nothing, I’ll try turning off and on the Bluetooth on my phone.”

It’s understood that this delicate pairing ceremony continued for at least 30 minutes, which for people 15 schooners and a couple of bags deep at 3am in the morning felt more like 30 years.

“Fuck! Can someone please just sort something out? The silence is making me scat,” pleaded one impatient party guest.

“Here, I’ll play something out of my phone speakers until they sort that out.”

This last-ditch effort was just too little too late though, with the momentum of the early morning rave now we’ll and truly over.

“Nah this is just bullshit, oi everyone let’s just go back to mine and put rage on the TV, it’d have to be better than listening to Lil Wayne through an iPhone in a schooner glass”

“Oi, nah, I’ve nearly got it!” leaded the vibe killer; “Don’t leave yet!”

It’s understood that his pleas fell on deaf ears as one by one the mates began ordering Uber’s to get the heck out of what was now the scattest place in Betoota.

Sources have revealed that the man is still attempting to pair his iPhone with the Bluetooth speakers, despite being the only person left at the house.

More to come.