''How do I buy a ticket?'' asked an Asian tourist with toddler in hand as I waited at the near-deserted tram stop at Rod Laver Arena a fortnight ago. He looked astonished when told: ''You can't. Not here.''

Nevertheless, when the No.70 to the city rolled up, Mr Tourist waved a hopeful handful of banknotes at the driver who, sealed behind his window, just shook his head. It turned out the visitor was from Hong Kong and was predictably perplexed when, during the short trip to Flinders Street, I explained the basics of Melbourne's lunatic myki system.

'Is it possible to make a transport system more user-unfriendly?' Credit:Rebecca Hallas

You may be here only two days, Mr Tourist, but you must hunt out a vendor selling myki cards in this unfamiliar city, pay $6 a card for each family member, then top them all up with cash. Oh, by the way, your cards conk out in four years and, if you are not back in Melbourne to use the network again within five years, the Registrar of Unclaimed Money will grab the balance of your accounts.

A week later I was backstage after the Johnny Young concert at Crown Casino. Singer Normie Rowe, staying in his old home town but resident these days on the Gold Coast, had just picked up a rental car in Franklin Street, city. ''I wanted to go there by tram from South Melbourne,'' he said, ''but I couldn't get a ticket. It was all too hard so I walked.''