November 19, 2015

Okay, friends, this morning sees BaDoinkVR dive weenie-first into the genre of—what’s called—teen VR.

Their latest movie, Teen Ass PWNED, stars the gorgeous senorita

Apolonia Lapiedra. As with all their efforts, their 24th release features binaural sound, HD, 3D and runs at 60 frames per second. I’m reviewing the Oculus Rift version (HQ – 2880×1440), which weighs-in at 4.1 GB. And, I’m running it on Android with Homido.

All right, so what do we know about Apolonia Lapiedra?

Well…

Friends, I think there are a few obvious things…

Like:

1. She’s skinny.

2. She’s sexy.

3. She’s young.

I’m telling you, we’re off to a good start here! That’s a trifecta I can get behind and earnestly endorse! Additionally, Apolonia Lapiedra has straight dark hair. Muy bonita, I must say… And, Apolonia Lapiedra is a pretty cool name! Don’t you think?

So, Ms. Apolonia hails from Hellin, Spain, and and although semi-new to the professional game, she’s already worked for major porn companies and racked up accolades, including the 2015 NINFA AWARDS 2015 Best Starlet and Best First Scene.

I don’t know what the NINFA is either, but hey…it sounds kind of impressive! I’m being a little facetious here… The point is that Apolonia Lapiedra is pretty damn fine. I saw the award information on the young lady’s Twitter page.

Anyway…

She’s presently twenty-three years old, which definitely qualifies her for the teen porn genre: particularly as she looks considerably younger. I mean… in the porn world, we occasionally see a clearly thirty-something, over-the-hill broad sport a checkered skirt, grab a lolly, and try to pull off the “I’m a know-nothing teenie” routine.

Oh, geez…so much could be said about this. I mean…if I’m not careful this could turn into a 20,000 word essay, and I could be typing until the moon appears outside my window. The thing is… a hell of a lot could be said about the teen genre.

I do believe this is the first teen anal vr. And, I see next week’s BaDoink VR furthers the legal teen genre with Carolina in Naughty School Girl Gets A D.

No doubt, a few years from now, Teen Anal VR will be a clickable link on the porntube s

ites…and, there will be more teen anal vr videos than you can shake your willie at. But, friends…this is a great moment in history that you were born into…

You have been granted the opportunity to see this virtual porn niche explode before your eyes. And, believe me…it’s going to be big.

That’s why I give a lot of credit to Naughty America, BaDoink and Virtual Real Porn.

Those are three companies that have the guts and nerve to pull out their wallets early, invest, move things forward…and, ultimately give us this killer stuff… that’s only going to get more…um…killer. The other big studios are sitting back, observing, crunching numbers…and being timid.

So, the movie begins with the arms and torso of…that’s right…a couch guy! These VR couch guys have got the good life. I think it’s a fine aspiration for a young man these days. “What do you want to do when you’re older son?” “Dad, I was thinking about being a dentist, but…I’m now leaning pretty heavy towards being a VR couch guy.”

But, nobody’s saying, “I want to be the guy who reviews teen anal VR movies for a blog that receives no comments.” This is a tough life, friends. Moving along…

In this case, our anonymous stunt cock of a VR couch guy is playing a video game. Very accurate.

So, anyway…young Apolonia desires the attention and affection of the distracted VR couch guy. She quickly concludes that shoving little gizmos up her Spanish backdoor might do the trick. And, it basically does.

I must say…BaDoink’s video quality seems to be improving. To my eyes, at least, things seem a bit smoother, more clear, more precise. Now, as I’ve said elsewhere, it’s tricky commenting on this aspect because there are a lot of different VR rigs being used. But, this is how it appears to me. I mean…the close-ups of Ms. Lapiedra’s lady parts and face were pretty crisp. Not to mention, of course, the VR couch guy’s torso. Oh, man…that tee shirt was high-def, man!

So, I enjoyed this one. But, as some people have noticed, I seem to enjoy most of them. That’s basically true. I’m not looking for perfection. I’m just after some fun and distraction. And, for me, most of the VRs released thus far offer both of those things. That’s about it. Now it’s time for me to start Googling around on Monster and those other employment websites. I’m looking for an opening somewhere for the position of… wait for it …VR COUCH GUY.

