Okay, this isn’t funny anymore.

Whatever wormhole or computer simulation or tripping shaman’s asshole I’m stuck in right now, I want to let whoever’s in charge of it know we can end this veil of illusions ASAP. I can’t take it anymore. Let’s just stop this ayahuasca shart of a baggy-pants farce, okay? Please.

x Trump was seeking thoughts from A-Rod about the coronavirus response, a source close to him tells us. Sources say there was no discussion of him or fiancÃÂ© Jennifer Lopez taking on any official effort. https://t.co/UpH5zzKRcE — Katherine Faulders (@KFaulders) March 28, 2020

I guess when you can’t trust Kushner anymore, you just go on to the next completely unqualified nitwit on your speed dial.

Again, if this is a simulation, there’s no need to see it through to the end.

I’ve learned my lesson — whatever it’s supposed to be.

Uncle. Uncle.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.