I am a truly lazy man. I’m known to openly groan if I sit down only to realize the remote control is out of reach. But even I can’t match the sheer, unbridled, galling laziness of Brooks here, who was apparently too busy to learn the intricacies of a bone-dry real estate investigation his own paper conducted, but has no problem at all declaring that scandal more damning than the current Russia clusterfuck.

Keep in mind that Donald Trump already has proven financial ties to Russia, and openly ASKED Russia to hack the DNC, and let Russian state photographers into the Oval Office, and fired the man investigating him, and openly mused about firing the other guy investigating him, and eased sanctions on Russia almost immediately after taking office. He didn’t even to try hide any of this shit. Oh, and his son-in-law asked to set up a formal backchannel with the Russians to circumvent diplomatic protocol. And yet here’s Brooks being like, “Nah, that Whitewater thing I never bothered to learn about was worse.” I’m in awe of this man’s hustle.

There may be a giant revelation still to come.

YEAH THAT’S WHY THERE’S AN ENORMOUS FAR-RANGING INVESTIGATION GOING ON AS WE SPEAK YOU COMPLETE DUNCE. “Given that an army of prosecutorial masters have been assigned to look into collusion, obstruction, money laundering, and hooker piss orgies, perhaps there’s a touch of fire to this smoke, but one can never know!”

But as the Trump-Russia story has evolved, it is striking how little evidence there is that any underlying crime occurred — that there was any actual collusion between the Donald Trump campaign and the Russians.

Well shit man, maybe that’s what Robert Mueller is trying to find. Maybe you should wait to see what he’s got instead of sitting there and formally declaring the whole thing a sham. Maybe you could put a researcher on the case, and then marry that researcher.

There were some meetings between Trump officials and some Russians, but so far no more than you’d expect from a campaign that was publicly and proudly pro-Putin.

Yep, just your run-of-the-mill pro-dictatorship campaign. Completely ordinary and within the confines of pro-dictatorship campaigning. The meetings probably included pastries of some sort.

Now of course Trump shouldn’t have tweeted about Oval Office tape recordings. Of course he shouldn’t have fired James Comey.

[Chorus of angels descends from the sky carrying a giant banner that says “BUT!”]