A couple of months ago, the Penny Arcade report was shut down. The long time home of Ben Kuchera, in their commitment to revolutionize games journalism, had inevitably failed in it’s mission. Probably because you put Ben Kuchera in charge of it, a man known for likening the Playstation 4 controller to breasts, defending bronies, trying to destroy Erik Kain’s career, taking Devolver at their word for taking the racism and sexism out of a Shadow Warrior reboot, saying that calling out racist people on Twitter was bad, coined the term “bigot shaming,” refusing to say anything negative about RapeLay, a game that “centers on a male character who stalks and rapes a mother and her two daughters,” oh my god, the list goes on.

If your priority is to remain “objective” in the face of “sensationalist” coverage over a game literally about raping women that more or less kind of kills your credibility as a games journalist. Or at least, it should. Regardless, when you have an incompetent captain at the helm, don’t be surprised when the ship runs aground.

For the longest time, we had silence. That time being a couple months. And now today, Polygon is proud to announce the latest addition to their roster of white dudes talking about videogames! They’ve brought on Ben! He has a home again, as Opinions Editor about videogames!

Polygon, like Penny Arcade Report, also was on a mission to revolutionize games journalism. So much, that they took $750,000 from Microsoft and made a documentary. Which had a trailer.

This is not that trailer, well, not exactly. But it was so hilarious, and so pretentious, and when you see the cast, it’s all dudes, almost all white? About how they’re starting a website to revolutionize games journalism? With fancy, over designed websites that start to look more like an advertisement for the product being reviewed than an actual objective hub of journalistic integrity, how are you a platform for New Games Journalism?

I’ll admit, I was a little surprised. Polygon, as much as it was a collective of white dudes, was usually, with minor hiccups here and there - not entirely laughable. They went to bat when they let a woman review horrendously sexist Dragon’s Crown, they tried to cover a more human side of games at times - I’ll give credit where credit is due.

Yet the decision of hiring a sexist, racist ass like Kuchera is utterly laughable, and speaks to where Polygon’s heart truly lies - upholding the status quo of games journalism as a home for the “rational,” “objective” white dude, who’s not going to raise a ruckus about a game being bigoted in one form or another - maybe they’ll acknowledge it, but generally it’ll roll off their shoulders.

Now, I don’t expect those in charge of Polygon to be fully jacked into the Game Grid like I am, possessing a library’s worth of knowledge of Who’s Hot and Who’s Not in games journalism. I mean, it’s hard being a white dude, I know. We have to wake up every morning and check Twitter to see if we said a sexist or even racist thing the day before, and then spend the entire rest of the day trying to not say something racist! It’s really hard! Sometimes we even say something else is gross in the company of those who agree just to make sure we’re Certainly Not Sexist and/or Racist! It’s tricky!

So I felt the need to let them know. Hey, it’s hard. The response was kind of mindblowing, however.

Apparently being sent quotes of the person you just hired is attune to harassment. Harassment! This is what harassment means, in 2014!

Motherfucker you write words for a living. That is not what that means!

If being called out equates to harassment in the year of our lord, two thousand and fourteen, then holy shit, then what the fffuuuuck are we calling Penny Arcade’s userbase sending literal rape and death threats to sexual assault survivors? Or the entirety of Fat, Ugly, or Slutty?

Is being called out for giving a platform to a sexist, racist asshole on the same level of, well, to quote Lesley of XOJane:

fans of Penny Arcade, most of them dudes, couldn’t let it go. They were enraged at what they saw as a capitulation to a handful of hysterical females whose sole purpose was to cause said dudes deep deep pain by removing their ability to buy a certain t-shirt from a certain store. Many of the original critics of the comic started receiving elaborate rape and even death threats from creepy strangers; twitter accounts were created for the sole purpose of slandering and harassing various women, and mocking rape survivors in general.

…in your minds? As far as Polygon’s opinion of Kuchera’s legacy, well, here’s the words of another one of their editors:

…Otherwise good work? Running smear campaigns, taking money from transphobic & sexist bigots as they doubled down on bigotry, spreading mistruths about the games journalism machine, trying to tell PoC how to deal with racism, likening the Playstation 4 controller to touching breasts and/or his wife’s pregnant womb, oh my god, the list goes on and on and on, but really, how do you think that someone who writes this:

It felt almost too good, like I was holding something illicit. I was afraid it would be taken away. It felt like the first time I touched a girl’s breast in the backseat of a car with fogged up windows, scared that her parents were going to fling the door open and start yelling at me. I wanted to grab the controller and run. I wanted to nuzzle it against my face and ask it who is a good controller? Who is a good controller? You’re a good controller, you sexy thing, you.

Is at all a good pick for Senior Editor of Opinions?

Oh, right. Because he’s a white dude who’s “made it.” He’s “experienced,” he’s been around the block a few times. He fits in with Polygon’s old boys club. It’s easier to give the keys to someone who looks like you and probably agrees with you and you won’t have to worry about saying something racist or sexist or, bless your heart, maybe even transphobic around! Ben’s easy, unthreatening.

You see, for women writers and writers of color, they have agendas. All this talk about intersectionality, whatever that means.They’ve had to fight to even get a sliver of recognition, and for that, we’ll pat them on the head and say, hey - great job! Great writing! You’re really making change in this industry - but give you a paying job or a senior editor role? Give up this endless shuffle of white dudes from one place of employment to another? Actually commit to diversity in our supposed crusade to revolutionize game journalism and bring a range of perspectives to criticize an artistic medium?

Perish the thought.

Polygon you’re the same shit in a new wrapper, and this hiring only cements the fact.

Mattie Brice, as much as I may strongly disagree with her on a lot of things, is over here hustling her ass off just to keep above water (hint: pay her!) and she brings a hell of a lot more interesting perspectives to games criticism than Mister “this plastic toy feels like titties lmao” Man. Soha El-Sabaawi wrote a better review of Bioshock:Infinite criticizing it as the “true art” mainstream games criticism declared it to be, bringing a personal and enlightening perspective that is a thousand times more interesting than Mr. “this plastic toy feels like titties” Man.

If hiring a woman is just too damn hard, how about Austin Walker? He has a fantastic stack of work under his belt - all of it a thousand times better than Mister “this plastic toy feels like titties” Man. Is this some sort of performance art for you, Polygon? Some sort of “subversive” statement about how you can be one of, if not the most absolutely awful and bigoted assholes in games journalism, and still have a job because “a decade of otherwise good work" as a white dude with connections.

Polygon, it’s safe to say you’ve established yourself as a cabal of horribly out of touch, inept white dudes who simply added another inept bigot to your ranks.

New Games Journalism, indeed.