Sometimes we ask a friend for a favour that challenges social conventions, and our request is denied.

Me? I like a good shoulder massage. I’m a sloucher and I occasionally do an exercise that hurts my neck. A hot localized shower is not going to fix that pain. Some women don’t have the strength or stamina to rub that pain out. So I ask a male friend. It’s always in a joking context, followed by a whole inappropriate scenario. I laugh; we laugh.

Well I’m not kidding.

If the pain is bad enough and I can’t find a “$15 for 15 minute” sketched-out massage parlour that employs completely-untrained-yet-oddly-effective Asian women, I will challenge social convention to ebb my pain. A wolf will gnaw off its own paw its survival instinct is so strong. WELL SO IS MINE.

Do I threaten society with my request? Will I annihilate a boy’s inner child (like the kid dressed up as Kratos above) by having him witness some male on male massage? If I was bit by a rattlesnake in the ass, wouldn’t you suck the poison out?