Do you remember back when you were a kid, and McDonalds had happy meals that had collectable toys? Specifically, when I was about 8 or 9 years old, I remember that McDonalds came out with a line of Mini Beanie Babies. Don’t ask my why they were so popular, I really have no clue, but they were; and if you remember them, it’s a true testament to your street cred as a 90’s kid.

You know those vaguely specific incidents from childhood that stick with you through your adult life? The time you went to a friend’s house and accidentally broke his Lego castle and blamed it on his dog? The time your friend ‘borrowed’ your first edition Charizard Poke’mon card and never gave it back? The time you went to McDonalds to get a happy meal with a beanie baby and you got the worm for the 100th time when you wanted the dog that your friends at school were gloating about you not having?

I know, real First World Problems.

But I remember this one specific time when I asked if I could trade in my worm for the dog (that I saw behind the counter) and the person who worked there said in a really mean voice that if I wanted another one, I had to buy another meal, and even then it would be random.

At the time, I thought there was some sort of governing body that was carefully randomizing beanie babies behind the counter that had to be calibrated correctly at any given moment that any variation in the outcome of the beanie baby would jeopardize not only this McDonalds, but All of the McDonalds around the world, and Beanie Babies, and Poke’mon Cards, and Legos, and all that was holy would crumble and cease to exist.

Looking back, I realized that person was just a dick.