St. Louis, MO—

Another big mass shooting happened, and it’s such a cliché now that it had trouble climbing to the headlines of digital news.

Who wants to talk about it when so many mass shootings occur that the hip-shooter response from both sides is just exasperated cultural resentment?

Once again, conservative gun zealots shield themselves with their pavlovian worship of the right to potentially rise up in armed-rebellion against the government, and then refuse to believe that individual mass shootings are indicative of a larger societal failing. They announce immediately they will pray for the city just attacked with the carnage of a war zone—a military-grade machine gun is typically the mass shooting weapon of choice—and then announce that liberals are disrespectful to the victims and survivors by suggesting that these mass shootings could be stopped with sensible gun legislation.

But the problem is not that Conservatives haven’t picked a solution—they have. They picked prayer. They always say they will pray for America.

Buuuut they very evidently aren’t praying hard enough are they? I don’t believe they have committed themselves to praying long enough or hard enough to convince God to actually stop allowing these mass murders to happen. Conservatives are really letting America down.

And why would God alter his Grand Plan® just because conservatives asked him a lot? That doesn’t show any personal responsibility or moral growth on their part does it? It’s very obvious that God is only allowing mass shootings to happen because conservatives blatantly obstruct the sensible gun laws that our safe-from-domestic-mass-shootings European friends all swear by. God could not make it any more obvious for us what he wants us to do.

So, every mass murder that happens while the conservative movement neglects to responsibly legislate shall henceforth reflect on conservatives’ prayer abilities. I suspect that no conservative actually spends all day and night praying for the end of mass shootings. They no doubt waste a lot of free time they could spend praying watching TV and stuck in social media. Perhaps, conservatives merely throw in the mass shooting bit once in a short, minute-long casual prayer as they fall asleep.

Whatever conservatives’ routines in mass shooting-related prayers are, they’re conspicuously not enough. They should probably begin praying night and day. They should no doubt quit their social activities to pray more. Every second their prayers fail to bring about the end of this mass shooting era we find ourselves in is a second longer that God is enabled to murder more innocent people based on conservatism’s gun-political malpractice.

(Picture courtesy of Fuzzy Gerdes.)

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