Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has made quite a buzz during her short time in Congress. Young Democrats love her ideas, Republicans hate her for them. She’s only 29, so she won’t be eligible to run for President until at least 2024, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t already talking about it. A Hispanic woman elected President would be a first in American history. But there is one thing keeping her from obtaining the position: her name is just too goddamn long.

I mean her first name alone is five syllables! That’s longer than some entire names! And the hyphenated double last name? I can’t even refer to her by her last name for short, ‘cause it ain’t short at all. It’s another six syllables! That’s eleven total! Just pick one last name! What if she marries someone else with a double last name? Are her kids going to have four last names?

Four syllables or less is ideal. Gerald Ford, John Adams, George Bush, these are all names I can get on board with. Do you really think Donald Trump won the election because of Russian collusion? He won because his name was shorter than Hillary Clinton’s. Plain and simple!

If you look at history, you can clearly see having a long name is no good. William Henry Harrison? Assassinated. Theodore Roosevelt? They tried to kill that tough son of a bitch. John F. Kennedy? Maybe he would have been fine, but he just had to add the ‘F.’ to his name, pushing his name over the four syllable line and into the danger zone. And he paid with his life.

Whether you like Ocasio-Cortez’s policies or not is fine, but don’t pretend like that paragraph of a name is easy to say over and over again. And if I can’t say your name faster than I can sneeze, then maybe you shouldn’t run for office.