Johnny Hatebait on amateurs in the voiceover business. Caution: If you are offended by rude language – stop reading now. I mean it. You have been warned.

DISCLAIMER This is a feature by me, Johnny Hatebait, CRO (Chief Rant Officer) at bodalgo, and mainly in charge when it comes to disapprove talent profiles. Be warned: My views are extreme, and so is my language. If you are offended easily, stop reading this. Best, J.

I am about to throw up. And that's not because I have a terrible hangover. It's the reason why I have a hangover in the first place that makes me truly sick: The MP3 encoded pieces of shit you call "your demos"...

Listen up, all you morons that think you are god's gift to the voiceover industry: You know what the problem is with you people? The worse your demos are, the worse you are, the more inflated your self-esteem seems to be. How I wish I could feed you your Samson C1 USB microphones...

Every year, I have to listen to a few thousand demos. And what began as a fun job is now haunting me every night. See, usually, I ain't afraid of anything: Yelling swear words at people that "normalize"? Count me in! Reminding job posters (a.k.a. 'clients') to stick their tiny budgets where the sun don't shine? I'm first in line! Taking a deep breath next to a banker ... okay, there is things even I wouldn't do.

It all went down the drain when audio gear became so ridiculously cheap that even people whose talents have not allowed for anything more than unemployment (and a wife beater) could get a "home studio" in exchange for a few beers less on any given morning. And if that was not bad enough by itself – at the same time the internet came along and flushed the flaws to the entire world.

We could have conquered it. But some people have been weak and so we (are) all lost. Instead of protecting the world from the flood of failure, they gave them platforms without asking questions except for the one for credit card details. Instead of bouncing the bullshit they invited the idiots. And they came. Hundreds. Thousands. Hundreds of thousands of talent-free talents.

And I have to listen to them. All of them.

At first, I wrote back to everybody that did not make the cut and explained why – in the most constructive way possible. Soon, very soon I found out that this was a bad idea. Because no matter how politely you suggest somebody is a mental retard believing they could earn a single dime with voiceovers, rejection does not go particularly well with them. Okay, rejection probably does not go particularly well with anybody, but the absence of any talent whatsoever seems to add to the pain, because their lack of self-reflection ensures them that they are the best of the best. So they all start endless discussions which in no time are enriched by threats of all kinds imaginable. To clarify: Threats made by them, not by me. I don't do threats. I just do insults in return. And I do not feel bad at all for them because in my book their registration as a talent is an insult in the first place.

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Don't you believe me? I am not exaggerating, and I have proof! This (hear audio below) is the type of shit I have to deal with every single day. Every single day. Every single day. And the reason for my hangover.

So before you blame me (because of me, because of my language, because of whatever), listen to this and read this blog post again. You will understand. If you do, please share this on Facebook, twitter, wherever. As long as you share.

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DISCLAIMER Johnny's views are not necessarily the ones of bodalgo. If you want to give Johnny personal Feedback, you can do so writing to hatebait@bodalgo.com If Johnny can be bothered at all, he might even reply.

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