Baahubali II showcases the most majestic elephants and outrageous CGI feats, but were the utterly brittle buildings a nod to the fragility of India's own public works?

Dear Sir/Madam,

Due to non-stop irritation and mental torture by my son and grandchildren, earlier today I agreed to see Baahubali II at a nearby movie hall.

I usually don’t indulge in such activities but it had become impossible to live in my own house. Day and night, my son was destroying my peace of mind.

I would be brushing my teeth when he'd suddenly stick his stupid head into the bathroom and ask, appa do you want to see 500 computerised elephants in just one scene? When I'd be watching my DVD of Suhasini songs he'd suddenly stand in front of the TV and ask, do you want to see one thousand bulls running at you in 70mm? I would be finishing my yoga practice and relaxing in shavaasana when he'd come and lie down next to me and say, 3 p.m. do you want to come and see one man kill 40,000 other men in 20 minutes, ticket is only Rs.120?

Bloody fool, why do you want to waste money? I will show you one man kill another man in 20 seconds with one turkey towel, ticket is fully free for 3D show. Now get out of the dining room, buffoon.

Meanwhile, my grandchildren were running around screaming, Why did Kattappa kill Bahubali? Why did Kattappa kill Bahubali? They stopped when I did the same, screaming why did Mathrubootham cancel the broadband? Why did Mathrubootham cut the cable TV? Why did Mathrubootham burn the house including video game box and take Mrs. Mathrubootham and his Vijaya Bank ATM card and go to Kashi?

Sir/Madam, how many boys and girls with zero capacity are going to U.S. from Chennai every day? Every time I go to the airport I see parents oozing so many Sivaji Ganesan sentiments when their children and grandchildren go into the terminal. And then 10 minutes later, they are sitting in the car and dancing to ‘Aaluma Doluma’ as they go back to their peaceful retirement life.

Mr. and Mrs. Mathrubootham are not so lucky.

Anyway, I finally said ok, I will see Baahubali II, will all of you please be silent when I am reading The Guns of Navarone?

Sir/Madam, I enjoyed the film very much. It is a good time-pass in which parents freely murder their children if they become unbearable. However, I would like to make some observations.

First of all, is Ramya Krishnan capable of being happy in any film? I have been a fan of hers since Captain Prabhakaran days. But these days in every film she acts as if everything is ok, everything is perfectly fine, and then suddenly she has been electrocuted.

Secondly, people are saying that it is all fantasy and imagination. But I must congratulate the director of Baahubali II for some excellent realistic touches. At the very beginning of the film, there is a spelling mistake. Sir/Madam, is there a better reflection of India? This is a country where we spend $10 million on a new airport and then put up a signboard that reads ‘Accident Prawn Area’.

Also, the director has shown that even if the kingdom of Mahishmati is great, all the PWD work in the kingdom is nonsense. Bahubali just leans on a pillar and it immediately falls down. By the end of the film all the buildings are destroyed. Excellent realistic touch of modern India public works.

Sir/Madam, I only have one complaint. So many crores and crores have been spent on graphics for this film. But was the Indian flag during the national anthem designed on computer or diesel generator? The worst graphics. We can make an elephant fly through the air, through a fire, over a waterfall and into a palace which is immediately destroyed because of cement corruption.

But we are unable to make a single CGI Indian flag fly properly for one minute?

Yours in exasperation,

J. Mathrubootham