I’m desperately scared of wasting my life. I know everyone’s had that feeling where we’re sitting an exam we knew we would have smashed if we studied our butts off for it. Instead we’re sitting here, trying to copy the people next to us, desperately trying to remember anything from 13 weeks of lectures that might be remotely applicable to the question. We say that we never want to experience that again and we’ll really make the most of our time. Next exam, same story.

I’m all for learning from experience but doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results is the definition of insanity. I clearly didn’t learn my lesson. University, in hindsight, was a fairly low stakes environment. Maybe the risk of failing an exam or the incentive of getting high distinctions wasn’t enough to push me to really give it everything.

What if I extrapolate that a little bit further? What if I’m now 50, overweight, watching TV on a Sunday night, dreading going to the job I hate on Monday, beer in one hand and bowl of chips in the other. Eye bags, double chin and a whole lot of regret. My wife hates me, I don’t even know where she is. All the energy and aspirations that I had in my youth have been used up. Barely have my financials in order and need a steady dose of Vodka to finally fall asleep.

In this nightmare, I’m watching the news and some talent-less hack has written a New York Times Best Seller. I could have written a book a made a million dollars. Flip the channel, some chump is so happy that he sold his business and has the capital the travel the world now. I could have easily built a million dollar real estate empire. Wait, wasn’t that guy the dunce of your highschool?

At 22 years of age, that future albeit bleak, feels quite far fetched but I still use it as a bit of a reminder of what could happen if I don’t continue to improve. I can sit in my bed and dream of all the Ferraris, beach houses, travel with my beautiful wife etc. but if I don’t open up my eyes and make things happen then life will slowly drift away until I wake up like the described nightmare.

A lot of times I don’t learn from my mistakes. I rationalise it. Smash that packet of chips because I’ve earned it. Skip that gym session because I needed a rest day. I don’t want to blame myself or put myself down so I deflect all blame and rationalise it such a way that I think I actually made a good decision. The problem is, just like good habits, bad habits build up over time. A packet of chips today probably won’t make you overweight. A packet of chips every day, for a year, that’s going to do some damage.

If you’re feeling particularly demotivated and the upside isn’t quite that attractive then remind yourself of the pain that you’re looking to avoid. Remind yourself of all the times you’ve already beaten yourself up over not applying yourself. In this hyper-productive world people already feel like their calendar is packed to the brim. Then you want to add on a meditation habit, cold showers and cardio? No way. I think the easiest way is to first minus the things that aren’t only distracting you from your goals but are actually leading you to live a life you don’t really want.