CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A morbidly obese Betoota Heights resident has today made it clear that he will not be leaving the couch for at least a fortnight.

Luke Lockett (31) a website programmer who works from home, says that while he isn’t actually that well known for leaving the house, the next few weeks will be his most anti-social yet. As he plans to be situated on the couch in the granny flat adjoining his childhood home, living off just energy drinks and doritos until he has finished his Wild West cosplay.

“Basically…” says Luke, while breathing heavily between different mouthfuls of pizza.

“It’s 1899, the era of the Wild West is coming to an end. After a robbery in the town of Blackwater goes wrong, me, and the Van der Linde gang are forced to flee. With the authorities and the best bounty hunters in the nation massing on our heels, my gang must rob, steal, and fight across miles of American wildness and civilization to survive.”

Luke takes a big sip of 7/11 slurpee and wipes his brow.

“Sounds pretty mad hey”

“So pretty much as internal divisions threaten to tear our close-knitted criminal organisation apart, I must choose between my own ideals and loyalty to the gang.”