A MAN who has been addressing a colleague as ‘Hi!’ for the last three years has acknowledged it is too late to find out her name.

Tom Booker, who started his job at a medium-sized marketing company three years ago, now lives in terror of having to introduce her and looking a bit weird.

He said: “On my first day she introduced herself but I didn’t quite catch it. I was going to ask her to remind me the next day but she remembered my name, so it was too embarrassing.

“I can’t ask any of my colleagues because they’ll think it’s really strange I don’t know the name of Woman Who Sometimes Wears A Green Coat after three whole years.

“I think it might be Sarah, or Sophie. Come to think of it, it might not have been an ‘S’ name at all, it could have been Anna, or Andrea. Anastasia? No, I’d remember that.

“Now I’m fucking terrified I’ll get caught in a situation where I’m expected to introduce her to someone. I can feel the mortifying embarrassment and time slowing down just imagining it.

“It almost happened the other day but I managed to run off shouting ‘SORRY! HAVING AN EXPLOSIVE DIARRHOEA ATTACK AGAIN!’.

“Unfortunately I can’t rely on quick thinking like that every time.”