by asheld » Thu Jun 02, 2011 5:23 pm

[quote="ModernCondition"]If I were wearing nappies, and I were a teenage boy in the modern world, it would be for one of three reasons.



1) Because something in my life was proving extremely difficult and/or deeply dissatisfying to me, and I was kind of regressing as a sort of coping mechanism. Being a teenage boy, here is the complete list of things it could possibly be: sex. That's it. That's the list. The solution? The people who ultimately sort out their sexual trials and travails are the ones who gain actual confidence in who they are as human beings. Figure out what his deepest, most honest, non-sexual passions and fascinations are, and encourage him to become as fully realized in those things as he possibly can. Unless they're super-dorky, in which case you might as well spray him with sex repellent for the rest of his life. But the world needs guys to run comic book stores too, so whatever.



2) Because I actually had a very deep and important-to-me emotional bond with you, the parent, but was feeling kind of pushed aside by my younger sibling(s). The solution? Check yourself. Are you so invested in nurturing Baby Huey that teenage Donald is left to his own devices during what's inevitably the roughest stretch of emotional life every one of us goes through...i.e., High School? If so, try subtly to re-connect. Express interests and give supports. Make concerted efforts to show HIM a little favoritism every now and then.



3) Because I was some kind of perv. The solution? Leave it alone. He'll either work it out on his own, or he won't, and he'll grow up to to be that outwardly happy, well-adjusted dude who just happens to do the diaper thing in the boudoir. It takes all kinds to make a world. Just accept that you're contributing a colorful patch to the quilt.[/quote]

Excellent Reply!!

We as a family do get on very well and My children have never been singled out as favourites I give all of them the attention they need. I have been turning this over in my mind. I have tried talking to him I also asked if he has anything he wants to tell me. He has said no. I haven't told him what I found and I also haven't forced the issue I want to give him space. I want him to trust me so I can't tell him that I found this stuff in his room. I am however frightened that his actions might affect his younger sibling and I don't want him to think this is a normal patern for growing up. I also don't want anyone else finding out as you know what children are like. They will blurt out what's on their mind and if that happened. I can only imagine this might have a serious impact on him. I have told my own brother he is as unsure what to do as am I. There was a suggestion that we let him carry on as though nothing is happening. Then hopefully he''l grow out of it.