In 1999, I was the perfect audience for The Phantom Menace, the first installment of a Star Wars prequel trilogy that promised to show us the untold history of Anakin Skywalker before he would become Darth Vader. We’d finally see the Old Republic at the height of prosperity, Obi-Wan Kenobi as a young man, and the mysterious Clone Wars referenced in the original 1977 Star Wars. Today, a new trilogy is about to begin, starting with J.J. Abram’s Episode VII: The Force Awakens opening tonight. I rewatched the original trilogy countless times in my life, but never went back to reexamine all of the prequels. With the new movie ready for release, what better time than now?

I was just finishing my first year of high school when Phantom Menace hit, and I’d been in full hype mode in the months leading up to it. Like kids today buying Force Awakens toys, I picked up action figures of characters I’d never heard of, lining new classics like Qui-Gon Jinn and Jar Jar Binks on my shelf among my old favorites: Classic characters like Greedo (my first Star Wars figure), the dinosaur bounty hunter from Empire, and the walrus guy from the Cantina. I read all the Expanded Universe novels I could get my hands on even though I could tell, even as a young teenager, that they were largely terrible. I just wanted more Star Wars. I wrote a book report on Kevin J. Anderson’s putrid 1995 novel Dark Saber, in which I explained in depth what a Wookiee was in case my teacher wasn’t sure. I wore a gaudy tie-dye shirt featuring the faces of the heroes of Episode I, before my fashion sense moved on to the bombastic Dragonball Z shirts that were popular at the time.

Yes, I still have a Jar Jar clock.

I’d just moved across the country from Boston to Atlanta and Star Wars was something familiar for me to take comfort in. I was getting used to new places and new people, and had trouble adapting. I’d grow to love my new home (and still miss it dearly now and again, now that I’m back in Boston) but for that couple of months leading up to May, 1999, Star Wars was everything for me. Luke Skywalker’s journey from his lonely homeland to the strange and dangerous new reaches of space was everything my awkward 14/15 year old self was looking for.

Cool robots, aliens, and a figure inspired by Jesus himself.

When the new movie finally hit, it didn’t change my life, nor did it inflame the ire that possessed so many fans in the years that followed. It was just a movie; a mostly fun movie with a few parts I thought were super boring. I couldn’t understand why there was so much bureaucracy when I just wanted more pod races, but I still enjoyed it enough to see it at least four times while it was in theaters. I’d say it cured me of my fandom; I stopped buying all the Star Wars stuff I could find, I moved on to better books, and my high school t-shirts became more varied, though still mostly hilariously embarrassing to look back on. I would see the next two prequels only once in theaters, and never owned copies of them until just recently. I was happier in my personal life, and happy to just let Star Wars be a series of movies I enjoyed, and not something I obsessed over. They were, and still are, special to me. But they’re not me.

A ceramic Jabba the Hutt Christmas ornament, the perfect ornamental tribute to sloth and greed

Sixteen years later, I still see a lot of angry hyperbole over The Phantom Menace. From rants on blogs and forums about how a trilogy of films fans didn’t like ruined childhoods (I’m refusing to use the actual language they use here) to entire films examining the fandom to long time Star Wars fans explaining that there’s really only one, maybe one and a half films in the series worth watching, it’s hard for me to understand the level of vitriol the prequel trilogy inspires. For those that say, “These were bad movies, I didn’t like them,” that’s fine; all good. It’s the ones that make their very existence into some sort of holy war that will forever remain strange and alien to me. People pray for The Force Awakens to be “real” Star Wars again, and the advertising has certainly played hard into nostalgia for the original trilogy.

I’m not interested in fan drama. It can be entertaining when it’s not sad, but it’s a distraction from the films that doesn’t really have anything to do with them. I’m interested in the films themselves, so without further delay, here are my notes on the Star Wars prequel trilogy, rewatched closely for the first time since they were new.

I took notes on what worked, what didn’t, and what baffled me in the prequels as I rewatched. These are not formal reviews or essays, but rather my bullet-point thoughts on these three films.

Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

• The Phantom Menace is good, mostly solid film. This will be the longest look back, as the events and themes of this film remain crucial to the next two as well.

• Jake Lloyd as young Anakin Skywalker is not a good performance. I respect the choice to make Anakin as young and innocent as he is here, as a contrast to the messed up teenager he becomes in Episode II. I think it’s important to start here, rather than starting with him as an already accomplished man. This element of the tragedy works; the acting/directing, sadly, does not live up to the quality of the premise.

• That said: The relationship between Anakin and Amidala in later films is a lot creepier due to her babysitter-like role in this one. And Lucas plays up the creepiness angle hard in Episode II.

• Pod race is still pretty good, if a little longer than it needs to be. Same could be said of much of the film, though its slower pacing compared to action films of the day is a deliberate choice and not a mistake.

• Soundtrack’s awesome, John Williams does a fantastic job here. Duel of the Fates is a wonderful piece of music.

• While it bored me as a kid, I actually do like the Senate/trade dispute drama now. It’s a blunt “American bureaucracy’s broken” commentary but it works. The Jedi being an inefficient group of crotchety old fogies also works. The Old Republic is not the utopia we expected as kids; it’s corrupt, slow to act, and gives rise to fascism by being blind to the rise of fascist ideologies. The Empire does not destroy the Republic, it’s a gradual transition. Phantom Menace establishes this well, with its parade of well-wishers who care more about fashion and lofty speeches than the plight of Tatooine’s slaves or the Gungans. Qui-Gon’s “We’re not here to free slaves” line after freeing Anakin and leaving his mother behind is delivered gently, but is tells us everything. The Jedi will take and use what they need, while allowing suffering elsewhere when it’s politically inconvenient.

• The Darth Maul fight’s great, easily the best of the prequel action scenes. He’s not much of a character, but he works as an embodiment of rage, the first of Palpatine’s experimental apprentices, each representing a fraction of the perfect slave he later finds in Darth Vader (Maul as rage, Count Dooku as the regal leader, General Grievous as the mechanical man)

• Anakin blowing up the droid ship on accident really doesn’t work, largely because of the dialogue he delivers. I’m all good with The Force guiding him to victory, but it feels more accidental than it really should.

• Midichlorians, the microorganisms in blood that Qui-Gon scans to detect Force Sensitivity, are funny in retrospect because a certain variety of nerd loves smugly using science to disprove religion but gets all aghast when fictional science explains a fictional religion they like. That said; I don’t think they’re a bad plot device, and I don’t think they ruin the mysticism. Qui-Gon and the Jedi order care about the Midichlorian count, but what’s their opinion worth? Yoda admits in the second film that the order has lost some of its connection to The Force, and that the Dark Side clouds the future. In this film, “diplomacy” means sending a trained Jedi Knight who easily can and will kill or mind-wipe anyone who gets in the way. They’re already being poisoned and corrupted, it makes sense that their pure understanding of The Force would be corrupted as well.

• Jar Jar is great. He’s unbelievably obnoxious, to the point that he actually becomes funny on another ridiculous level. He’s a perfect use of The Fool archetype, revealing to us the truth of those around him even while we shake our fists at him. Qui-Gon treats him with no respect, telling him that the ability to speak does not make him intelligent. Amidala smirks when she nobly asks the Gungans to give their lives to protect the people of Naboo from the Droid Army. The Empire in the original trilogy is largely a Humans Only Club, and the attitudes that create that cruel system are blossoming right here, even within the film’s heroes. Jar Jar is a poor, lonely outcast, and rather than be embraced, he is used (especially in the second film, where he inadvertently helps Palpatine attain unlimited power over the Senate) and scorned. Should we not love all our brothers, even those who have really bad table manners and step in poop and yell pee-yousa?









a love story between a child soldier and a princess who admits she was forced into her role too young. They’re both emotionally damaged; he’s a sociopath and she’s in a situation where she can’t really say no. If Amidala rejects Anakin, who has been assigned to protect her from assassination, her life is possibly at risk, especially once he goes on his Tusken Raider Murder Spree while grieving his lost mother. It’s not bad acting, it’s a legitimately grotesque, broken relationship. Neither of them has the emotional maturity needed for a healthy relationship.

Anakin’s angry, teary “I’m going to be the strongest EVER!!” following his mother’s death isn’t bad acting, it’s still the eight year old boy from the last movie now in an adult body, as part of an army that forbids emotional attachment. He’s so messed up because they didn’t brainwash him young ENOUGH. He doesn’t have the understanding needed to deal with either death of love. I also really love Duel of the Fates building up right as he’s about to break down and hunt his mother’s captors. The score in this film is exceptionally strong, drawing on musical themes from Darth Maul’s to Darth Vader’s to Emperor Palpatine’s in Return of the Jedi to tell us audibly where Anakin’s mental state is. He’s fallen to the Dark Side long before the third film, and it’s in no small part the fault of the Jedi Order.



I love Dex’s Diner. The robot waitress is great and Dex is wonderfully disgusting. I love bearded frog aliens. It’s also home to Obi-Wan’s biggest jerk line, “Well, if droids could think, there’d be none of us here, would there?” Not exactly the kind of language you’d expect from a Guardian of Peace in a world where C3PO and R2-D2 are two of the most independent and emotional characters in the series. Dehumanizing droids in general is an easy way for Obi-Wan and company to justify slaughtering Droid Army troops without blinking.

I like the design of Kamino but don’t really like Obi-Wan’s plot at all. As he seeks out Amidala’s would-be assassin, he travels the galaxy on a wild goose chase. It’s just not compelling, and there are some good scenes but it flounders and makes the movie longer than need be.

The Boba Fett connection is absolutely unnecessary. The entire first generation of Clone/Storm Troopers being clones of Jango Fett is a bizarre choice, and gives needless importance to an otherwise bumbling character from the original films who is mostly notable for his cool armor and for dying when a blind man accidentally bumps into him.

Yoda being tainted by the Dark Side by taking up arms is an underrated Star Wars Tragedy. Dooku tells the truth about everything! He tells Obi-Wan that the Senate has been taken over by the Sith! No one listens! You’re damn right the Dark Side has clouded your vision, guys. Both Amidala and Yoda are against the idea of war when the films begins, but fully embrace the Clone Army at the end. Right then, the Republic ships transition into Star Destroyers. This is a good moment (following an unfortunately exhausting hour of action) that really hits home the themes of the Phantom Menace.

Jar Jar is used well. The Every Man character being used as a step stool for fascism to take hold is sadly realistic. He is forced into the Senate when Amidala leaves and is completely out of his element, allowing Palpatine to manipulate him into doing his bidding. A parallel is drawn here between Anakin and Jar Jar, which makes sense, given their parallels in The Phantom Menace, where both are lower class nobodies plucked from the street by the Jedi who succeed out of blind luck in that film’s final battle. In a more innocent, but still “wude” parallel, Anakin uses the Force to playfully take some fruit from Amidala’s plate, much as Jar Jar uses his frog-tongue to playfully take fruit from Anakin’s mom on his visit to Anakin’s home in the previous film. This, of course, also draws a parallel between Amidala an Anakin’s mother. Anakin’s got a lot of psychological baggage here.

I like C3PO’s terrible jokes. They’re SO BAD that I can’t help but laugh. He is the only good part of the otherwise dire Droid Factory sequence. Yes, it’s monumentally corny that he yells “I’m beside myself!” shortly before his severed head is dumped next to the rest of his body. It’s the kind of corniness this film needed more of.

I even like the name of the film more now, after disliking it originally. It’s also super corny, but it well serves the idea that the “good guys” are the ones attacking.





‘s game in the first place.



