Dear Nik,

I was not familiar with the Cave Dogs, I am afraid, but having watched you on YouTube, I have this to say — you sound fucking terrifyingly like me. You have even perfected my peculiar relationship with the Gods of Intonation. In fact, when I was playing it Susie, my wife, walked in the room with her arms full of dresses and fabric swatches and said, “Wo! Babe, you’re sounding good.” And I’m like, “Thanks. It’s not me. It’s a Serbian imposter.” And she says, “Oh, sorry,” and walks out again. So, you are obviously doing something right. But you are also correct to suggest you don’t have the right shirt. If you send me your email address, I’ll send you one of my old ones and a suit — I have many — or a hit squad. I’m not sure which.

Love, the other Nick