Brace yourself for some all-important hot stove news. Last week at Cubs Convention, mild-mannered, "aw shucks" type third baseman Kris Bryant went on a mock late-night talk show with former Cubs pitcher and wannabe comedian Ryan Dempster. It was all in good fun and for the benefit of Cubs fans. Bryant called St. Louis boring and it became a story because some Cardinals players got mad.

One in particular, legendary Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina, won't let it go. Molina previously called Bryant a "loser" on Instagram and now this, via mlb.com:

"Oh, it will. It will carry [into the season]," Molina insisted on Monday. "I can't wait to get on the field." --- "St. Louis is home," Molina said. "If anybody says anything bad about my home, I'm going to be there for us. I said to the guys, 'We are like a family. We have to stick together. We have to defend ourselves, and we have to defend our ground.' Whoever says something about us, we are going to be there to defend us."

(Pause for laughter)

Man, Bryant just said it's boring to play there and it was in jest on a faux-talk show. I admire the passion here, I guess.

Might I suggest a better word choice than "loser," though? Since Bryant arrived in 2015, the Cubs have been more successful every single season than the Cardinals (in 2015, the Cardinals had a better record, but the Cubs beat them in the NLDS), won the 2016 World Series and Bryant won the MVP in 2016. Loser is like the least accurate word Molina could have chosen as there's evidence to the contrary.

I am, however, all for off-field beefs -- as petty as they might be -- coming to MLB. We see it in the NFL and NBA and while it's all kinds of trivial and dumb, it's also funny. Bring it on! Just be a bit more accurate with the trash talk is all I ask -- or at least vague enough that it can't be disproven. Call Bryant a "dork" or "idiot" or "soft" or something; the latter especially after Bryant was banged up all last season and had a down year. Make fun of him that doing that Frozen duet with his then-girlfriend (now wife). Make fun of how the Cubs collapsed and lost the division to the Brewers last year. Almost anything other than "loser!"

I'm just trying to help, but hey, we're new to this level of pettiness in MLB. There are bound to be growing pains.

The big takeaway is that apparently Molina is still going to be mad at Bryant during the regular season. The Cardinals visit the Cubs May 3 this coming season and the Cubs first visit St. Louis on May 31.