The guilty-all-the-time generation: How 96% of women feel ashamed at least once a day



If you skipped the gym or forgot to phone your mother this week, you are probably feeling guilty right now.

Especially, it seems, if you are a woman.

A survey has found that more than 96 per cent of women feel guilty at least once a day, while for almost half, the feeling strikes up to four times a day.

Dubbed the GAT (guilty all the time) generation, the study found women beat themselves up daily about their friendships, relationships, work and body shape.

It also discovered that almost half of respondents were kept awake at night by guilt, while three quarters said they had experienced more guilt since giving birth.

Racked: Actress Jessica Alba (left) has spoken about her guilt, while author Erica Jong said: ‘Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I will show you a man’

Eating unhealthily topped the list of causes, followed by not spending enough time with family and neglecting work.



Susan Carrell, author of Escaping Toxic Guilt, said: ‘Women feel guilt when they don’t think they are being good enough in their various roles – especially as wife, mother and daughter.

‘That’s because familial, cultural and religious tenets teach women that being “good” is the most important thing.



‘When a woman feels she is not putting another first, she quickly feels like she’s doing something bad, then guilt rushes in.’

But it would appear that members of the opposite sex do not punish themselves in quite the same way.

Of the 1,324 women and 55 men questioned by Stylist magazine, 92 per cent claimed that men felt less guilt than women.



It echoes the sentiments of feminist writer Erica Jong who famously said: ‘Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I will show you a man’.

‘Men tend to externalise faults. They fail an exam because “the room was too hot” while women are more likely to internalise faults and would be more likely to admit to feeling guilty because “I am stupid”’

Experts claim the difference is because women blame themselves for their failures, while men point the finger at external factors.

Dr Cynthia McVey, head of psychology at Glasgow Caledonian University, said: ‘Men tend to externalise faults. They fail an exam because “the room was too hot” while women are more likely to internalise faults and would be more likely to admit to feeling guilty because “I am stupid”.’

Among the reasons women gave for feeling guilty were not recycling and being grumpy with loved ones.

Lynette Alle, from The Women’s Coaching Company, said: ‘Our mothers and grandmothers worried about bombs dropping, food rationing, children going away to the country for their own safety.

‘We have our own set of issues now – the financial crisis, a sophisticated terror threat – but these don’t seem to impact our lives much, so we worry about smaller things within our control.’

And even A-list celebrities are victims of the GAT generation.

Actress Jessica Alba, 29, said that whenever she acted ‘tough’ with people, she was racked with guilt.

She said: ‘I’m a typical Catholic. I feel guilty about everything and spend all my time apologising.’