Thursday, December 6, 2018

Review of Mortal Engines

Oh, and spoilers .





Some.





Big.





Dumb.





Fun!

What are you looking at Dear Reader?





So after all these words, what of the damn movie?

The Love Story

The Heroes

This review of the Mortal Engines film is long, over opinionated and full of unnessary concern about how The Last Jedi played out.Deal with it.Making movies is a risky game of kind. For the studios, it's a numbers game. The successful movies fund and offset the duds. Sometimes you throw some celluloid at a wall to see what sticks.But no movie is going to get a green light if it's a gonna be a dud on delivery.So at the face of it, Mortal Engines being a love story set against the background of a post-apocalyptic Earth where some of the remaining humans live on giant traction cities that eat other for precious resources in some kind of zero-sum game called Municipal Darwinism perhaps does seems like it has dud potential (in the eyes of a risk adverse studio exec anyway).Just throw that celluloid!Anyways, Peter Jackson steps up to the plate along with his offsiders, Fran Walsh and Pippa Boyens so thelet him throw some celluloid.I think this is a phrase I just made up. I'm copyrighting it just in case.So anyways a trio from New Zealand that has more Oscars between them than most major Hollywood production teams stepped up.And so, with a bit of American cash and some Kiwi splash, yet another Kiwi Oscar winner, Christian Rivers, was unleashed to direct the adaption of Reeve's YA novel.And when the first trailer was released this author truly feared a dud was on the cards. We didn't say this publically (yeah, we know but wanted to support this film) but it looked like a cool idea with a wrong color palette that got zapped by a taser on acid.Or something.Details slowly came out which suggested promise and finally, we saw Shrike we were feeling a lot better about things.Was a story about giant cities eating each other with Sir Peter Jackson's name splashed over it going to get a leg over the other hordes of films released this month (Mary Poppins, Aquaman, Bumblebee) or would it be a one and done?For this reviewer, one who is closely attached to the books, the associated lore Reeve has built up through short stories and prequels and the fans, I can't quite bring myself rate it as a "That will do pig, that will do" but I can sneak in a "The battle of Helm's Deep is over; the battle for Middle Earth is about to begin."....By that I mean,I look at this film like I look at Transformers movie where giant robots kick each other in the head or giant Yeagar rise up out of the sea to kill everyone a la Pacific Rim. You accept it, buckle in for the ride and enjoy it for what it is.Which is:If you look at Mortal Engines as a concept any other way, you're probably going to end up feeling like the hordes of fan boys and girls who hated The Last Jedi.Because this film is not about a box of err... Roses.It's probably the most spectacular train wreck of a movie that I've ever seen. And I saw the Transformers sequel twice.THIS MEANS I LOVE IT!That said, I'm pretty sure the haters are gonna hate, hate, hate, but the players...The players will turn this major motion picture by a Hollywood studio into a cult film.I'm certain there will be legions of book readers out there who have turned each page with fear and trepidation as to what would befall Tom and Hester next, who will want to see what it looks like when London calls and when they do, their mortal hearts will be happy.So what of the movie then?The story of Mortal Engines is often pitched as a Young Adult love story (of an inverse kind) but this movie has aged the characters into their mid-twenties so the love story that evolves is more natural in a sense but it certainly feels like Tom Natsworthy and Hera Hilamr didn't stay up all night together drinking Steinlager and working on their characters before they began rolling film.Or pressing play on the record button or however they do it these days.Both are clearly excellent actors but the relationship feels stilted (even despite the plot point of it) - that's presumably what happens when you change the character dynamic of Hester by not making her the ugliest girl on any traction city... They sure took the feral out of that girl.But by the ending of the movie, it's a believable enough relationship and leaves that nonsense with Rose saving Finn at the end of The Last Jedi in the sands of Crait...You know how in Stranger Things, the guy that sings Sledgehammer sung Heroes by David Bowie?That should be Anna Fang's theme song. Despite some hokey one-liners, the casting of Jihae is a triumph of the film.In the novel, Fang was inspired by Han Solo from Star Wars and in this film, she treads those boards as a badass so well, she may as well star in the next couple of prequels...Time will tell on that.There's many a supporting player in ME that can be classed as a hero too.Chudleigh Pomery (superbly played by Colin Salmon Captain Khora