So, I ultimately walked through the door at 343i w/ a lot of optimism for the future. A big part of that optimism was, "OMG I can't wait to implement all the amazing processes we had on SW: FA. Should be SO easy with Tim near the top!" That. Was. Not. True. 343i is not a 50 person team. I came in pushing pretty hard for changes to how we planned our work, ran morning stand ups, processed playtest feedback, etc. Hindsight being 20/20, I pretty much set myself up to fail as soon as I opened my mouth by not recognizing how different this environment was. I was coming off a career high working with the SW: FA team and was crazy overzealous about trying to help foster the same culture at 343i. I was trying to square peg a round hole (without placing any judgement on which is the better shape).

The reality is, turns out I don't really like working for large teams much at this point in my career. In addition to all the inherent problems to solve around efficiency, it's difficult for someone like me who enjoys to design, code and influence production processes to really scratch all those itches. Large teams tend to be a lot more specialized. That's just the way it goes. I was pretty brash about fighting to get code access so I could prototype my designs at 343i. It really cost me in the end, as I failed to recognize the precarious position I was putting myself and others in. Eventually, I was granted code access, but then it was taken away. The reasons for all that are complicated and I'm sure I don't fully understand them myself. Either way, the result made me pretty bummed because generally speaking we're most happy when we're realizing our full potential. It's arguable whether or not I was actually capable of giving more to Halo, but I was left wanting to.

I Came, I Saw, I Learned A Lot

Ultimately, the team size, the focus on specialization and the challenges around navigating Halo's legacy left me w/ an extremely strong desire to make a stupidly ambitious (still unannounced) game on my own. So, that's what I set out to do in the Spring of 2016. Also, for the record, I'm totally happy to admit those difficulties that I faced at 343i may be the result of my own shortcomings as a developer.

Prior to shipping Halo 5: Guardians, I don't think I had all the skills required to execute on a level that matched my indie ambitions. I mean, maybe I still don't, but I'm definitely much closer having had that experience. Specifically, the degree to which I was exposed to folks w/ great design sensibilities has had a big impact on me. I don't think I'm a natural designer, but I'm a good learner! Which means I need to surround myself by more talented people in order to grow. No shortage of them around 343i. They are stacked w/ amazing developers across the board. Many "best in their field" types of folks. That's one huge advantage to working on a team like that.

So, that's part 3 of my game dev story. I remain hopeful that the 4th installment will inject some new highs into my career, but expectations are sufficiently in check -_- The indie scene is bonkers these days, but I'm dumb enough to think I still might have a chance ¯\_(ツ)_/¯