Tailin Lyngdoh who was refused entry to the Delhi Golf Club because of her traditional dress. Dr Sondhi and Lyngdoh went to the Delhi Golf Club as guests of a member. "I pointed out that she was wearing an Indian costume. I asked why, if other people weren't asked what they did for a living, why should a nanny be asked her occupation? But they refused to listen," Dr Sondhi said. When the officials pointed to an outside pen-like area where domestic servants could sit and where they suggested Lyngdoh could go, Dr Sondhi and the rest of the group abandoned their lunch and walked out. Livid and upset, she posted a scathing comment on her Facebook page. "The room was full of Delhi elites who make their maid's and nannies wait outside in the heat lest they pollute their surroundings, and I bet many of them were civil servants and keepers of the Indian constitution. It was so appalling at many levels: that a citizen of India is judged on her dress and treated as a pariah; that in this day and age human rights of so many citizens can be trampled on just because he/she earns an honest living as a help," Dr Sondhi wrote.

The entrance to the Delhi Golf Club. Public outrage followed and sympathy for Lyngdoh poured in. The ugly incident was the latest example of the strange world of India's private clubs, a relic of the Raj with the only difference that just as the British wanted to keep the natives out, well-heeled Indians like to keep out ordinary Indians so that they can enjoy an atmosphere of social exclusivity without their eyes having to rest on poorly dressed compatriots who can't speak English and don't know what balsamic vinegar is. The dignity of labour is a concept with little purchase on the minds of the elite. Some of these clubs may be rather shabby and musty but they cherish their archaic rules and dress codes. By day, members of the elite sip Flowery Orange Pekoe and eat cucumber sandwiches served by liveried bearers. At night, tycoons, media barons, global executives, investment bankers and retired colonels enjoy their sundowners in the bar, wallowing in a self-congratulatory, back-slapping air of having made it. For a society that is profoundly caste and status conscious, these clubs help to distinguish the elite from the less fortunate. The demand for membership is frenzied. The waiting list for one of the oldest clubs in the country, the Delhi Gymkhana Club, is 25 to 30 years.

To be fair, the clubs are not unique in their disrespect for ordinary Indians. Elsewhere too, wealthy Indians display contempt for their domestic staff by making their drivers wait outside in the searing heat or taking their nannies along to restaurants to mind the children but ordering them to stand beside the table – without sitting, drinking or sharing any bit of the meal. Sudershan Gill, who teaches etiquette to middle class women in New Delhi, was not surprised by the Delhi Golf Club incident. "Eating together, across the class and caste divide, is still rare here. In most homes, separate cups, plates and glasses are kept for the driver and maid," Ms Gill said. Last year, Mohini Giri, a women's rights activist, went to the Delhi Gymkhana with some colleagues. The latter were barred from entering because they looked like "maids and drivers". A livid Ms Giri threw her membership in the bin. In 2013, a high-ranking Buddhist monk from Bhutan, dressed in his monk's sandals and maroon attire, was denied entry by the Delhi Gymkhana. And India's most famous artist, MF Husain, who made a point of never wearing shoes, was barred from entering Mumbai's Willingdon Club in 1988 for being unshod. Another example of slavish devotion to the Raj is the way the top club in Kanpur calls itself the "Cawnpore Club'" which is how the British used to spell the name of the city. Social worker and journalist Tarun Vijay, writing in the Indian Express about the Lyngdoh incident, was scathing about the archaic spelling.

"They [the members] would like to claim the legacy of British elitism and so the name must remain the way the British spelt it," he said in a column. The Delhi Golf Club management have yet to apologise to Lyngdoh or Dr Sondhi, despite Indian newspaper reports to the contrary. "They've been very clever. They have apologised to the member who invited us but not to us. Tailin is the aggrieved party, not the member. She is such a dignified and proud lady. The way she was treated still hurts,' Dr Sondhi told Fairfax Media. Lyngdoh has vowed never to enter any private club. "Never. I felt so ashamed. I am not going to risk that again."