Two Medieval Monks Invent Bestiaries

Previously in this series: Two Monks invent dinner parties.

MONK #1: do birds have meetings

MONK #2: absolutely

they have a Meeting Hat and everything

MONK #1: what do they have meetings about

MONK #2: mostly who gets to wear the meeting hat

MONK #1: do human women sleep in beds or–

MONK #2: no that’s dogs you’re thinking of

MONK #1: right right

MONK #1: what part of the knight do fish go on

MONK #2: the head

MONK #1: thanks

MONK #2: oh absolutely

no problem at all

MONK #1: both lying flatwise across the head, or…?

MONK #2: no one on each side

like ears

MONK #1: ok great

MONK #1: so when a dog and a bird make out

MONK #2: right

MONK #1: it’s usually the bird that’s on top

right?

MONK #2: yeah

usually

MONK #1: great

MONK #1: hey is it owls or people that live in caves and build fires?

MONK #2: owls

MONK #1: hey roughly what size are sparrows

MONK #2: mm

it kind of depends

MONK #1: like

AS big as a tree

or not quite as big as a tree?

MONK #2: oh pretty much the same size as a tree

MONK #1: can cows sail boats?

MONK #2: hahaha no

common misconception

they have to put wheels on the boat and roll it over land

MONK #1: what do birds eat

MONK #2: other birds mostly

MONK #1: like different kinds of birds, or something else

MONK #2: no birds only eat exactly the same kind of birds that they are

MONK #1: what kind of bird tucks people into bed at night

usually I mean

MONK #2: any bird

any kind of walking bird

MONK #1: and when it tucks you in, people usually look…

MONK #2: incredibly worried

it’s incredibly worrying when the bedbird tucks you in

MONK #1: ugh sorry to bother you again

MONK #2: no no its fine

this is what i’m here for

what is it

MONK #1: what part of a goat is a snail again

like the front end or the back end

MONK #2: what part do you feel like should be the snail part

MONK #1: the back part?

MONK #2: you shouldnt doubt yourself

you know more about goats than you give yourself credit for

MONK #1: what usually rides horses

like people or–

MONK #2: fire

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