Last week we did an overview on how to write good dialogue. After I wrote that, I watched Netflix’s The Witcher, and they didn’t take my advice. While not all bad, there were a handful of moments where the dialogue was… less than great. I am going to explore some examples from the first episode and discuss what went wrong.

This will contain spoilers for the entire series. Beware. You have been warned.

Let’s dive in.

Theme

In my article, I talked about how characters should never state the theme of the story, and the writers for The Witcher did exactly that. In the first episode, the theme is: Is choosing the lesser of two evils still evil?

And they don’t let you forget it.

They explicitly state this theme early in the episode with this bit of dialogue between Geralt and Stregobor:

“I kill monsters.” – Geralt

“The kikimora kills because it’s hungry, Renfri kills for pleasure. She is a monster. She is the last of Lilit’s women. And she possesses the power to destroy us all.” – Stregobor

“I don’t believe anyone has that power.”

“With the fate of the Continent at stake, is that a chance you’re willing to take? There’s your rhyme. Killing Renfri is the lesser evil.”

“Evil is evil, Stregobor. Lesser, greater, middling it’s all the same. I’m not judging you. I haven’t only done good in my life either. But now, if I have to choose between one evil and another, then I prefer not to choose at all.”

Right out of the gate we are lacking any sense of subtext. This is an interesting theme but it doesn’t need to be stated so blatantly. Watching Geralt struggle with the choice on-screen would’ve been great, but instead, we are delivered a handful of boring philosophical arguments.

This isn’t the worst dialogue in the world, but the issue is worsened when throughout the episode “the lesser evil” is echoed over and over again. Renfri even says the same thing to Geralt a couple of scenes later. It feels contrived. We don’t need to be handed the moral conflict of this episode on a silver platter.

Awkward Dialogue

There were a couple of times where I think characters said things that they outright wouldn’t say. On two occasions Geralt makes jokes, and if you haven’t seen the show, Geralt does not seem the type to be kidding around. He is incredibly serious and the gags just don’t fit his character. When words come out of a character’s mouth that aren’t expected, it feels out of place.

For example: In the opening scene in the pub, Geralt is offered food from Renfri and he declines saying “I’m full…venison” referencing the faun he kills in the opening scene. Then he makes a face like he’s being clever.

Not only is this an odd place for a joke, but this also isn’t how people talk. The line feels awkward and forced. The writers sacrificed realism in their dialogue for a cheap joke that doesn’t even land.

Another example is when Geralt is talking to Stregobor. They are in the middle of a serious conversation, and Stregobor tells Geralt about some evil afoot to which Geralt replies:

“Doesn’t rhyme, all good predictions rhyme.”

Is that really what Geralt would say? REALLY? I don’t think so. The writers are making a meta-joke here about how people in fantasy talk which you shouldn’t do. Meta-jokes in a serious piece only break the suspension of disbelief. I would expect this line in a fantasy parody like Disenchantment– not here.

The final example below might seem a bit nit-picky, but I literally said “Excuse me?” aloud when I watched it the first time. Can’t ignore that kind of visceral reaction.

Quick reminder: When writing dialogue, a character’s background is crucial. People’s intelligence and experience influence the things they say.

Near the end, Geralt approaches a group of ruffians and one says “Renfri has a message for you, the lesser of the two evils” (yeah that again) and another ruffian jumps in and says “That’s an ultimatum!”

Excuse me? You are telling me that some fantasy yokel knows the word “ultimatum”? I don’t think so. Characters should use appropriate vocabulary. Don’t make characters you portrayed as idiots use big words. It makes the world seem inconsistent.

Confusing Exposition Dumps

Like any fantasy, the characters in this show often use elegant language that is meant to sound medieval. I can’t fault them for that, but you have to be careful. That kind of dialogue can be confusing.

For example: In the first scene with Geralt and Stregobor, Stregobor says a lot of stuff. He goes on long monologues about the curse of the black sun and why Renfri is evil and yada yada yada. Stregobor talks in full fantasy speak the entire time, and on first watch, I couldn’t grasp any of it. I had to go back and watch with subtitles to fully digest his long strings of convoluted dialogue.

Stregobor is providing needless exposition. This might read better on paper, but on screen it comes across as boring and complicated.

Non Sequitur

There is one bit of dialogue between the Queen and Ciri that has the strangest ending. They are discussing war. Then the Queen gets mad at Ciri for glorifying it and says this to her:

“Three thousand of my men died. If we must do this now, here is your first lesson. As in life, it is impossible always to be fully prepared for battle. Keep your sword close and keep moving.”

What does that last sentence have to do with what she just said? Nothing. It feels like an entirely different subject. She made the point that three thousand of her men died. I think logic would dictate that following that the first lesson would be something like “Soldiers die on both sides” or “War is hell.” Instead, we get something totally unrelated. I don’t understand what her lesson is supposed to mean.

They “payoff” this line before the Queen dies at the end of the episode. The Queen gives her second lesson which is “Lesson number two. Know when it’s time to stop moving.” I am assuming they came up with this line first and wanted it to hit harder with a callback, but that payoff is worthless if it’s not properly set up.

Review

Aside from a decent amount of bad dialogue, this show is pretty fun. The first episode has some great action sequences, and as the show goes on, it slowly builds a cast of interesting characters. My favorite of these is the bard. While he has a lot of dialogue issues himself, at least he is the one making jokes and not Geralt.

If you haven’t read the books or played the games, I am hesitant to recommend this The Witcher. It can be confusing if you don’t have previous knowledge of the world and plot. It moves so fast and doesn’t take much time to explain what is happening or why. The worst example of this is the show’s broken timeline.

The Witcher has a handful of plots following different characters, and if you were watching, you would assume that they all happen at the same time. They don’t. The show cuts between scenes that are sometimes decades apart with no hint. I could see this being used in some kind of world-shattering reveal, but that’s not what happens here. There is no grand reveal. It is passively revealed as the opposing timelines start to converge and it does so awkwardly.

The season ends with all of the timelines converging when Geralt meets Ciri. I can tell they wanted to get to that point as fast as possible, but I think that was a mistake. The convoluted timeline structure rushes the show to its detriment. I think the whole thing would’ve been a lot more coherent if they had taken things in chronological order and paced it out over a couple of seasons.

I have not read the books or played the games, but I have heard from those who have that the show stays true to the source material. It’s fun, and if you are a fan of the franchise, you’ll probably enjoy it. If not, you’d probably be better off rewatching the first seven seasons of Game of Thrones.

Rating: 3 Kikimora heads out 5

Weekly TL;DR: The Witcher suffers from a handful of dialogue issues. Characters sometimes say things that don’t match their characterization, and sometimes characters just don’t feel consistent. The show is alright overall.

If you have any questions or comments, join the discussion on our Discord! Next week we’ll be doing our second Showcase post on Panem et Circensis by Neptun. Be sure to sign up for our newsletter below to stay in the loop on the blog and Campfire news.