by MATTHEW GAULT

There’s a book floating around social media called How to Survive in the West: A Mujahid Guide. The 70 page PDF details how a budding Western extremist can survive and thrive in hostile territory. It lays out advice on how to search the Internet privately, how to shoot and how to fight.

“This book is a guide for the Muslims who are living in a majority non Muslim land,” the book explained. “It will teach you how to be a secret Agent who lives a double life, something Muslims will have to do to survive in the coming years.”

Various news outlets such as Breitbart reported that Islamic State had released the guide. That’s terrifying, if true. The idea that Islamic State is training moles to move through the West and tear it down from the inside should frighten everyone. But a close reading of How to Survive in the West should calm those fears.

Islamic State media tends to be slickly produced and carefully managed HD nightmares. Talented propagandists craft its films and Dabiq — its official magazine — looks as if it came from a New York publishing house.

How to Survive in the West’s author comes off as bored teenage terrorist fanboy who cobbled together his understanding of violent jihad from social media and movies. The Anarchist’s Cookbook … this is not.

“The author of this book has been studying the global Jihad for 10+ years,” the author claims. “So he has knowledge of the different types of Jihad groups in the world and how they achieved their losses and successes.”

Notice the author does not claim to actually be an Islamic State fighter. He’s probably not. The book is full of spelling, punctuation and factual errors. Worse, the author’s advice ranges from impractical to ridiculous, even downright wrong.

“You should buy Toy guns (Nerf guns), or Pellet guns or Paintball guns for Target practice,” the book states. But won’t buying toy guns raise the authorities’ suspicions? No problem. The author has a plan.

“Maybe you can ask a child cousin, or a friend to buy them for you,” he wrote. “But do not buy anything like this from Online because if you are suspected, your credit and buying history will be searched and they will ask you why you bought toy guns.”

So get a child to buy Nerf guns, and then use the toys to train for guerrilla warfare. Got it. What about hand to hand combat?

“The best fighting style to learn is Krav Maga,” the author wrote. “This Israeli fighting style is really good because it not only teaches how to defend and counter attack quickly, but also teaches you how to disarm an enemy who might have a knife or gun.”

But … doesn’t Islamic State hate Israel? Besides, how is a potential jihadist supposed to learn such an intense and disciplined martial art? “A simple search on Youtube teaches you tutorials on how to fight using this style,” the book stated.