A 68-year-old yoga enthusiast in Virginia was arrested after police at a national park received reports of a naked man masturbating and throwing a dead raccoon at a car.

According to The Smoking Gun, after two women came upon Bill Kachle doing yoga off a trail in Virginia he pulled down his pants and vigorously attempted to find peace with his inner self. After achieving nirvana, Kachle picked up a dead (and conveniently located) raccoon, which he launched at a passing car.

This apparently threw off his spiritual balance, as he began yelling and masturbating again until police arrived on the scene and arrested him for disorderly conduct and obscene acts.

It’s not clear if the incident with the raccoon was taken into account.

My initial impression here is that Bill Kachle is terrible at yoga.

You’d think that any senior citizen willing to make a pilgrimage to a national park to do Child’s Pose with no clothes would be fairly proficient in the ancient art of unnecessary contortion, but no — if there is an opposite of yoga, it’s what happened here.

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