Recently by Brian Wilson: Surrogate Smack-Down

Dealing daily with the bi-polar manic-depressive ADD schizophrenia of the American Electorate is driving me bats**t crazy!

Here is the narrative of the AAV (Average American Voter):

"I am tired of BOTH parties. I am tired of Professional Politicians. I am tired of the Washington u2018Inside-The-Beltway' mentality. I've had it with Politics As Usual. I am done with the DC Double Standard: Elected Officials and their Buds break laws with impunity while Big Brother and Big Nanny micro-manage everything I do. I want to left alone. I want Washington out of my office, car, bank account, wallet, kid's school, kitchen, bedroom and hobbies. I want the TSA to keep their grubby mitts off me. I want Government to get out of the way and let the Free Market do its thing. I've had it with the illegal wars, smothered economy and the Entitlement Mentality. I want a President who will stand on principle, not K Street and won't run off to bomb some dictator with a funny hat; who will actually "…to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States." And I don't care what Party he or she belongs to."

Well…..Sound like any one of the current crop of candidates???

"Mitt Romney has nice hair. And Gov. Perry has "swagger"! And Michelle Bachman is a hottie (in a proper Christian kinda way). Oh — and Ron Paul is an unelectable wacky uncle."

This from the same AAV plaintively wailing about the status quo. To borrow a phrase: Haul out the duct tape!

As my friend Walter Williams says, "Let's look at it."

"Unelectable"

To put it delicately: Bullsh*t. He's been elected and re-elected and re-elected Congressman from Texas 22nd District. Is there something strange and unique about the 22nd District that would somehow preclude his "electability" as President? Apparently a majority his constituents are happy with "Dr. No" and his record of voting "No" for any/all bills lacking Constitutional authority. What a concept! Or do we conclude if enough chuckleheads repeat the word enough, the polls will reverse and his growing — but somehow inexplicable — popularity will stop embarrassing FOX News & Co.?

"Nukes for Iran!"

Actually not. If one reviews the first debate and subsequent comments, Dr. Paul emphasized he was against Iran having nukes. Hell, he's against everyone having nukes. He explained how Iran didn't have any and, even if they did, they have no means — even gasoline  to deliver it. Then he mentioned the inconvenient truth of the "Sovereign Nation." Whoa! No snappy come-backs for that one (unless the Respondent owns the Tyranny franchise for the entire United States). Then "our sovereignty is better than your sovereignty" is a snappy one-liner infinitely less threatening than the old "Bombs Away!" enjoyed recently by the innocents in Iraq and currently those in Afghanistan, Pakistan and Libya.

Eliminate Social Security, Medicare, FEMA, and EPA, Depts. of Education, Agriculture, and Energy etc.

At the risk of Choir Preaching, Candidate Paul has stated repeatedly: Yes, these socialist programs and alphabet soup agencies have no Constitutional sanction but realistically, they cannot be dismantled overnight. How "wacky" is that? But looky here! Freedom, Liberty and Individual Responsibility have better, more successful ways of providing excellent results without the government waste, fraud and dependency. The boondoggles that are the by-products of these extra-Constitutional excursions into unauthorized largess and Machiavellian altruism have brought America to the brink of financial and societal implosion. No one who understands the severity of the problem can argue successfully — or morally — for the status quo. No doubt you've heard the punditry saying "It's simply not sustainable."

Amen. The Choir may be seated.

Wacky etc.

Finally, let's do away with the ad homonyms: "wacky uncle," crackpot, insane, too old, not a Republican/really Libertarian, "foreign policy," ad ridiculum. Ask yourself — or the person who claims to believe that tripe: what is wrong with a constitutionally obedient government? As noted in my previous LRC piece, the "Kimber Basketball Game" wager, without The Rules, anarchy and tyranny, socialism, communism, fascism, collectivism and Ism-ism stand at the door. Some of their body parts are already inside doing unspeakable things to Lady Liberty and Uncle Sam. Those who lob the ad homonym stink bombs are those who refuse to comprehend the Constitutional cure for the Welfare/Warfare State.

Like analogies? Similes? Metaphors? Parables? I do, too. They simplify things and put them into bite-size easily digestible nuggets of fact.

Take my old one about the Two Cars:

Before you are 2 cars. Same make, model, equipment. Different colors. The Blue car — with a big D on the hood — is being driven by our current President Zero. The Red one  with the big R on the hood — will be driven by Perry, Romney, Bachman or some other late-comer the Media Moguls will anoint and appoint as the Designated Driver.

Here is what's going to happen: Prez Zero is going to drive the Blue "D" car at 150MPH into that large brick wall just over yonder. Upon impact, there will be a big explosion; he will die a fiery, gooey death. And so will America.

Whomever the MM's eventually designate — Perry, Romney, Bachman, Palin (?) — will drive the Red "R" car at 102MPH into the same brick wall with the same unsightly and terminal results.

By your support and vote, you select in which car you will ride.

OK? Choose…….

What's that? Not much of a choice? You die either way?? Well…that's exactly right!

Not much of "choice," is it??

But wait!

Wanna know a secret?

There's a third car! It's being driven by that "wacky uncle," Ron Paul. It's going to go 200MPH — but not toward that brick wall. Paul's "car" is heading in the opposite direction — toward Freedomville and Liberty Town and Free Market City where the Government leaves you alone, stays out of your way and your life. You keep more of what you've worked your butt of for! There are no illegal, immoral, expensive wars! America is secure at home enjoying trade and commerce with friends and neighbors. The government obeys its Constitutional restraints. Markets flourish! Business explodes! Employment soars! Political Correctness is banished to a small un-named atoll somewhere in the Aleutians!

Still think that "wacky" guy is "unelectable"? Or are you ready to buckle up in the hot Blue "D" car? Or would you prefer something in a fiery Red?

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