Dear Deep State Throat:

You need to run. Run fast. Run now.

First, I’m sure you can hear the national golf clap for your op-ed in The New York Times. Some people think you’re a hero. Some people (particularly a certain orange, rage-tweeting resident of the West Wing Inpatient Mental Health Care Facility) consider you a traitor of the first order.

I’m giving you half marks. You speak the truth we’ve seen reported since the start; Donald Trump is mentally, intellectually, and morally unfit to serve as President. His election was a repulsive historical lacuna in the long line of patriots from both parties to hold the highest office in the land. You’ve borne witness to his behavior, and claim a role in blocking actions even after President Trump utters his various mad-hatter declarations. Bravo for trying to keep the Gold Codes out of Trump’s wee little grippy paws so he doesn’t launch a nuclear war with Iceland.

For all that, you’re not getting any awards. You know what you're doing in service to Trump is morally indefensible, but you’re trying to “But Gorsuch!” yourself out of the ethical sewer. That’s so Swamp.

You want to excuse yourself by telling us that for all the military, diplomatic, economic, political, and moral hazards into which Donald Trump has steered this nation, you’ve moved the tiller to help avoid the rocks. Slow clap. If you argue that you’re doing a great job, I should note that Frederick Fleet, the Titanic’s lookout, did ring the doomed ship’s warning bell and shouted to the bridge, “Iceberg, right ahead!” After all, only part of the ship hit the iceberg, right?

“ The future of the tenth asshole who escapes this White House who says, "I saw all this crazy, terrible, illegal, dangerous stuff and still tried to help" is exactly zero. Here’s their future: "Welcome to Arby's." ”

Kudos, though, for displaying some vague survival instinct. It’s obvious you know that you need a marker on the board for when the walls close in for the last time. You need to apply that survival instinct and look to the near future. Half measures and anonymous op-eds aren’t enough, not by a long shot.

You know that the system of subverting Trump you boasted about is marginal and unstable on its best day. You know that a year ago there were more of your fellow travelers inside the White House, and as the ETTD rule grinds its painful way through your ranks, that number is shrinking. At best, you’re describing your role in an opportunistic soft coup. At worst, you’re putting trivial ideological wins before the security of the nation.

You know the easy days are behind you. You know Mueller is coming. You know that November is coming, and in January the Democrats will have subpoena and oversight power in the House. The days when Paul Ryan let Devin Nunes and his clown crew run wild in defense of your boss are soon over. You’ve described Trump’s instability, poor judgment, and amorality yourself. The only easy day was yesterday.

Finally, you know you're going to get caught. I know, I know. You thought were being careful. You used the burner phone. You used Signal. You kept all your contacts off-campus. Your opsec was decent, but the odds you'll get caught are astronomical. As much as there's an underground of people in this White House trying to save us from Trump's excesses, there's a broader culture of snitches, informants, ass-kissers, and bad actors who will rat you out in a hot minute.

It’s okay. You should welcome it. It's your chance to do the actual right thing, finally. Get out before they bust you. Build an exfil plan and a message plan, and execute it. If you’re the kind of person who has access to unclassified emails and documents that bolster the case, you should have as many of them on a thumb drive as you can. Anecdotal stories are great, but records are the gold standard.

Now, take a deep breath, because here comes the hard part. You’re going to have to go public. You’re going to have to burn it down to save yourself. You’re thinking, “I’ll never work in this town again,” and you’re probably right.

The only path is to get into the daylight as fast as you can, not like Omarosa, but as a true whistleblower and patriot. Your only value now is in pulling down the entire system. First movers in the collapse of this White House get a book deal. The future of the tenth asshole who escapes this White House who says, "I saw all this crazy, terrible, illegal, dangerous stuff and still tried to help" is exactly zero. Here’s their future: “Welcome to Arby’s.”

No one in this White House will help you. No one there can help you, even if the lower-level staff is cutely sending “sleeper agent” texts to one another. The edifice is crumbling, the King is mad, and no amount of tweeting, no redneck rally in East Asscrack, Arkansas, no Fox filibuster will save it.

Run before they catch you. Tell it all. Save yourself. Save the country.