Be My Guest – Beauty & The Beast Hannibal Style…

Hannibal:

Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride

and greatest pleasure that I will consume you tonight.

And now I’ll sedate you to the max, tie you up in this chair

as Dr Lecter proudly presents –

you’re dinner!

Be my guest! Be my guest!

Put my steak knives to the test

Tie this noose ’round your neck for me

And I’ll dissect your chest

Soup du jaw

Hot whores d’oeuvres

Why, it’s more than you deserve

Like this hot pie?

Think it’s tasty?

It’s your kidney, wrapped in pastry

Oh dear I think I shocked her

Trust me, I’m a Doctor

And a dinner here is never second best

Disagree, I dare you

Piss me off and then you’ll

Be my guest

Oui, my guest

Be my guest!

***

Thief ragout

Rude souffle

Mental patient “en flambe”

I’ll prepare and serve with flair

A former patient’s vertebrae

You’re alone

And you’re scared

But very soon, you will be dead

You might be gloomy and complaining

While your arteries are draining

So I tell jokes! I play tricks

On my fellow psychiatrists

And they’re all in perfect taste

That you can bet

Come on and lift your glass

While I sauté your ass

‘Cause you’re my guest

Don’t be stressed, it’s fine dining at its best

You’re my guest

You’re my guest

Yes my guest

***

Life is uninspiring

For a diner who’s not dining

He’s not whole without a soul to feast upon

Ah, those good old days when Will was friendly…

Suddenly those good old days are gone

Ten years I’ve been looking

For someone to share my cooking

Needing exercise, a chance to use my skillet!

Most days I fillet someone who’s wronged me

Been rude or just plain lazy

It’s OK though, ‘cause I’m crazy

Will:

It’s a guest! It’s a guest!

Still alive, well I’ll be blessed!

Wine’s been poured and thank the Lord

They’ve had the sense to come well dressed

Screw dessert, they’ll need me

To rescue them, help them flee

While the boss does his pan-frying

I’ll do my best to stop the dying

I’ve got time, but not a lot

Heaven’s sakes! What’s with that clock?

Set it right! We want the company impressed

We’ve got a pot of stew

Made up of bits of you

Of you, our guest!

You’re our guest!

You’re our guest!

Hannibal:

Be my guest! Be my guest!

My entrée is in your chest

It’s been years since I’ve had anybody here

And I’m obsessed

With my meal, if you please

I love to chew upon your knees

While the candlelight’s still glowing

The Chianti will be flowing

Cook your limbs, one by one

‘Til you shout, “Enough! I’m done!”

Then I’ll sing you off to sleep as I digest you

It was so nice to meet you

Now I’m going to eat you

You’re my guest!

You’re my guest!

You’re my guest!

Yes you’re my guest!

Fabulous illustration by Daniel Butcher @vanguardcomic