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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Trump, Dems prep for Mueller report's release | Trump, Ocasio-Cortez on Time 100 list | Trump targets Pelosi | McConnell looks to work with Speaker on spending | Why Indiana GOP fears Buttigieg | Dem senators trying to steer clear of 2020 endorsement fight | Trump, Congress headed for clash over subpoenas | Romney's Capitol moves | Bernie's hand-written tax returns

NEWS THIS MORNING

100 of your most influential buddies:

Time magazine unveiled its list of the 100 most influential people this morning.

The list, by category: http://bit.ly/2ZgZe5E



THE SPARK NOTES:

The list has the highest number of women ever: A record 48 of the 100 people on the list are women. http://bit.ly/2VTqd56

Polar opposites: President Trump Donald John TrumpBiden on Trump's refusal to commit to peaceful transfer of power: 'What country are we in?' Romney: 'Unthinkable and unacceptable' to not commit to peaceful transition of power Two Louisville police officers shot amid Breonna Taylor grand jury protests MORE and Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Alexandria Ocasio-CortezWells Fargo CEO issues apology after saying there was a 'limited pool of Black talent' Brand responds to Trump claim protesters throw tuna cans at police: 'Eat em, don't throw em' CNN's Don Lemon: 'Blow up the entire system' remark taken out of context MORE (D-N.Y.) both appear on the list. Who wrote their profiles: Former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) wrote Trump's profile, and Sen. Elizabeth Warren Elizabeth WarrenDimon: Wealth tax 'almost impossible to do' CNN's Don Lemon: 'Blow up the entire system' remark taken out of context Democrats shoot down talk of expanding Supreme Court MORE (D-Mass.) wrote AOC's profile. http://bit.ly/2Iypcvw

This is pretty interesting: Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh Brett Michael KavanaughHarris faces pivotal moment with Supreme Court battle Poll: 59 percent think president elected in November should name next Supreme Court justice Feinstein 'surprised and taken aback' by suggestion she's not up for Supreme Court fight MORE and his accuser Christine Blasey Ford both appear on this year's list. Who wrote their profiles: Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell Addison (Mitch) Mitchell McConnellFEC flags McConnell campaign over suspected accounting errors Poll: 59 percent think president elected in November should name next Supreme Court justice Mark Kelly: Arizona Senate race winner should be sworn in 'promptly' MORE (R-Ky.) wrote Kavanaugh's profile. Sen. Kamala Harris Kamala HarrisHarris faces pivotal moment with Supreme Court battle Nearly 40 Democratic senators call for climate change questions in debates Joe Biden has long forgotten North Carolina: Today's visit is too late MORE (D-Calif.) wrote Blasey Ford's profile. http://bit.ly/2V2rsSr

Attorney General William Barr Bill BarrHarris faces pivotal moment with Supreme Court battle Hillicon Valley: DOJ proposes tech liability shield reform to Congress | Treasury sanctions individuals, groups tied to Russian malign influence activities | House Republican introduces bill to set standards for self-driving cars McCarthy threatens motion to oust Pelosi if she moves forward with impeachment MORE made the list: And guess who wrote his profile -- Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein Rod RosensteinDOJ kept investigators from completing probe of Trump ties to Russia: report Five takeaways from final Senate Intel Russia report FBI officials hid copies of Russia probe documents fearing Trump interference: book MORE. http://bit.ly/2IrU3uC

Music-related people on the list: BTS, Ozuna, Khalid, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift Taylor Alison SwiftSocial media platforms put muscle into National Voter Registration Day Taylor Swift on National Voter Registration Day: 'We need everyone' Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Hart among celebs highlighting National Voter Registration Day MORE and Lady Gaga. Details from Billboard: http://bit.ly/2UnZb47

It's Wednesday. T minus one day until the Mueller report is publicly released. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook .

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HAPPENING TOMORROW

On your marks, get set...:

Special counsel Robert Mueller Robert (Bob) MuellerCNN's Toobin warns McCabe is in 'perilous condition' with emboldened Trump CNN anchor rips Trump over Stone while evoking Clinton-Lynch tarmac meeting The Hill's 12:30 Report: New Hampshire fallout MORE's highly anticipated Russia report is expected to be released Thursday morning.

Helpful read: Via NBC's Dareh Gregorian, here's "your guide to Mueller's report on Trump: What's in it, what's not and what comes next." https://nbcnews.to/2DiZxmS

What time it will come out: Unclear. All we know is “Thursday morning.”

Where to find the report when it is published: The special counsel’s website. Here’s where to find it: http://bit.ly/2XnVrlf

Who and what was investigated: Here’s the list: https://nyti.ms/2KMxqTz

How the Trump team is preparing: Via Fox News’s Brooke Singman, President Trump’s lawyers are preparing a counter-report for any details related to obstruction of justice. What we know: https://fxn.ws/2Gs5dgp

‘What part of the report is likely to be most interesting?’: “Reporters are likely to make a beeline to the section of the report that addresses why Mr. Mueller decided not to draw a conclusion about whether Mr. Trump obstructed justice, citing ‘difficult issues’ of law and fact.” Details in The New York Times: https://nyti.ms/2Zkewq4

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

Why Indiana Republicans are scared of Buttigieg:

Via The Hill's Scott Wong, while South Bend mayor Pete Buttigieg Pete ButtigiegThe Hill's Morning Report - Sponsored by Facebook - GOP closes ranks to fill SCOTUS vacancy by November Buttigieg stands in as Pence for Harris's debate practice Hillicon Valley: FBI, DHS warn that foreign hackers will likely spread disinformation around election results | Social media platforms put muscle into National Voter Registration Day | Trump to meet with Republican state officials on tech liability shield MORE is excelling on the presidential campaign trail, Republicans in Indiana are worried that Buttigieg could drop out and immediately become a threat to win as the state's governor. http://bit.ly/2UpmWJl

Yeah, but: The chances of Buttigieg dropping out of the presidential race are getting slimmer and slimmer as he rises in the polls.

How this could play out: http://bit.ly/2UpmWJl

TIDBIT -- PROTESTERS ARE ONE OF THE MORE INTERESTING PARTS OF THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL:

Via CNN's Dan Merica, "The same protesters from Buttigieg's events yesterday are now outside his house party here in Marshalltown, Iowa this morning. Randall Terry is dressed as the devil and has a speaker system." Photo -- wow: http://bit.ly/2XdBEF4

Oh mannnnn:

Protesters at @PeteButtigieg meet and greet — this time it involves actors dressed as Jesus, Satan and the mayor.



75+ people gathered here in Marshalltown, waiting to hear from the mayor.



“Seeing these protesters inspires me to support Pete even more,” one attendee told me. pic.twitter.com/obbrwqFg22 — Elena Schneider (@ec_schneider) April 17, 2019

Senators not looking to define the relationship yet:

Via The Hill's Jordain Carney, only four Senate Democrats have chosen to endorse a 2020 presidential candidate. http://bit.ly/2VbKwhe

Which senators have endorsed candidates:

^ I.e.: Senators have endorsed home-state colleagues who are running.

Are candidates actively courting senators for endorsements?: Yes. "Senators say White House hopefuls have reached out to them, but most are steering clear of an endorsement game that could lead to an awkward post-primary dynamic."

IN THE WHITE HOUSE

Hold your horses:

Via The Washington Post's By Tom Hamburger, Karoun Demirjian, Josh Dawsey and Rachael Bade, "President Trump's attorneys and the White House are moving to resist a growing number of congressional requests for information, increasing the likelihood of a protracted legal fight that could test the power of congressional subpoenas."

Why this matters in Congress: "The building battle will shape how much material House Democrats will be able to obtain about Trump's policies and personal finances through multiple investigations launched by various congressional committees."

What it all means: https://wapo.st/2KKBaVx

IN CONGRESS

The elephant in the room:

Via The Hill's Alexander Bolton, "Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is trying to build a functional working relationship with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi Nancy PelosiHoyer: House should vote on COVID-19 aid — with or without a bipartisan deal Ruth Bader Ginsburg lies in repose at Supreme Court McCarthy threatens motion to oust Pelosi if she moves forward with impeachment MORE (D-Calif.) as the two tackle the mammoth task of winning a deal on fiscal spending ceilings for the next year." http://bit.ly/2DgGgTi

Where the debate is: "Democrats are insisting on parity between defense and nondefense spending, arguing any hike for the Pentagon must be equal to that for domestic spending."

Why that will be a big sticking point: "That directly contradicts the wishes of President Trump, whose budget proposed slashing nondefense spending while increasing defense spending by 5 percent."

MEANWHILE -- STOP TRYING TO MAKE A TRUCE HAPPEN. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN:

Via The Hill's Mike Lillis and Brett Samuels, "President Trump is launching new attacks on Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), questioning her leadership chops and veering sharply from his previous practice of touting her skills as an accomplished legislator and formidable rival."

What may be happening: "The shift arrives as the 2020 Democratic primary is heating up, leaving some observers to speculate that Trump is simply shifting into campaign mode by taking on a Democratic adversary who has long been radioactive in the eyes of conservative voters." http://bit.ly/2UH5XXR

Started from the bottom, now he's here (in Russell 124):

NOTABLE TWEETS

I have no issue believing this:

Oh my god. Bernie Sanders and Jane Sanders handwrite their tax returns. pic.twitter.com/zJlUup3tXH — Waleed Shahid (@_waleedshahid) April 15, 2019

Full size image: http://bit.ly/2GtM6CM

Takeaways from the tax returns: https://wapo.st/2V8Es8Z

ON TAP

The House and Senate are out.

1 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence lands in Dallas.

2 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence speaks at a campaign event in Dallas.

2:55 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence heads to Midland, Texas.

4:40 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence tours the Permian Basin Oil field and Diamondback Oil rig.

6:30 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence speaks at a campaign event in Midland, Texas.

10:20 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence returns to Washington, D.C.

WHAT TO WATCH

12:30 p.m. EDT: South Bend mayor Pete Buttigieg campaigns in Des Moines, Iowa. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2UnwyEj

2 p.m. EDT: President Trump participates in a conference on Opportunity Zones at the White House. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2GiIZME

3:30 p.m. EDT: Presidential candidate former Rep. Beto O'Rourke Beto O'RourkeJimmy Carter says his son smoked pot with Willie Nelson on White House roof O'Rourke endorses Kennedy for Senate: 'A champion for the values we're most proud of' 2020 Democrats do convention Zoom call MORE (D-Texas) campaigns in Alexandria, Va. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2v6AiQv

7:30 p.m. EDT: Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand Kirsten GillibrandSunday shows preview: Justice Ginsburg dies, sparking partisan battle over vacancy before election Suburban moms are going to decide the 2020 election Jon Stewart urges Congress to help veterans exposed to burn pits MORE (D-N.Y.) campaigns in Des Moines, Iowa. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2Vakt9S

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Cheeseball Day.

Saaaame, dude. Same.:

Via Fox 61, "Florida man arrested outside Olive Garden after eating pasta belligerently." The full story: http://bit.ly/2VPeaG7