Christian On Keto Diet Asks Lord To Provide Daily Fats, Proteins

SAN JOSE, CA—Local Christian woman Stacy Grant is on the keto diet. This has created some friction when she tries to pray the Lord's Prayer.

But Grant seemed to solve her problem by replacing the prayer's request for our "daily bread" with "daily fats and proteins."

"Give us this day our daily fats and proteins," she prayed, adding that she would ask the Lord to "lead us not into temptation to scarf down a bunch of Cheez-Its."

In fact, Grant actually replaced the entire Lord's Prayer with keto-appropriate language:

Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your nutrients,

your ketosis come,

your wheats be gone,

from my cupboard as well as my stomach.

Give us this day our daily fats and proteins.

Forgive us our excess carbs as we forgive those who are on low-fat diets.

Lead us not into temptation to scarf down a bunch of Cheez-Its.

For the ketosis, the protein, and the disgusting gluten-free products are yours,

now and forever. Amino acids.

At publishing time, Grant was tempted to drink a high-sugar, high-carb Mountain Dew but asked the Lord to take the cup from her.

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