Making the decision to enter a D/s relationship, whether full or part time, is not one that should ever be made lightly. You may not have any doubts that you have a submissive personality, but that does not always immediately translate to automatically being a good or natural submissive. Being part of a Dom/sub relationship and belonging to someone as their submissive requires a certain level of self-discipline, along with a certain mindset. Here’s a look at some tips and tricks for being the kind of sub that any Master would be happy to call his or her own.

Choose Your Dom/Domme Carefully

This will be the most important decision you will make as a sub. Keep in mind that the decision is ultimately yours and that the power is entirely in your hands here. Nobody can force you into submission, and if someone is attempting to push you into a decision, you should look at the entire situation as a huge red flag.

Know Your Own Limits

You can’t expect your Dom to respect your limits if you aren’t clear and upfront about them. Think about what you’re uncomfortable doing, what’s negotiable, and what is a firm no for you. Write them down and communicate them clearly with your dominant early. Knowing and sharing your soft and hard limits, both physical and mental/emotional, will eliminate potential pitfalls later, so it’s essential to talk about them before things get serious.

Understand That Perfection is a Myth

Too many submissives feel that unless they are perfect in their submission at all times, their dominants won’t appreciate them or will somehow be angry or disappointed in them. The truth is that not only are dominants understanding that subs are humans with flaws, they actually enjoy a submissive that acts out or is bratty from time to time, as it gives them an opportunity to exert power and discipline. Blind obedience can actually be a bit tedious. And just as the Dom enjoys the feeling of taking control and demonstrating his power, the submissive also enjoys these displays as it allows them to feel safe and loved.

Understand the D/s Relationship is Not Solely About Sex

In fact, it’s not even mainly about sex–it’s about control and power. There are even full-time power exchange relationships that don’t involve sex at all, or are mainly service-oriented. Again, communication is essential, and understanding your role and what is expected of you will help make you the best submissive possible within the realm of your relationship.

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