season one of the magnus archives is so funny. the archivist really is like “statement of one charlie flipflop who claims to have been stalked by a sentient piece of rope. frankly, this sounds like a load of horseshit to me. unfortunately we couldnt follow up on this statement as mr. flipflop has died by manner of being strangled by a rope in his own home. what seems unusual is the fact that there were no signs of forced entry, and cameras show no one but charlie entering his apartment the week of the murder. anyways, i hate my fucking job. statement ends.

