LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

As a chunk of the nation continues to burn Prime Minister Scott Morrison isn’t afraid to busy himself with the increased demand to act like an ‘everyday Australian.’



It appears that his response to the bushfires ravaging the east coast has done just that as Australian citizens now believe that Scott Morrison, like them, is unfit to run a country



There’s no denying Australians are a picky bunch when it comes to politicians, putting them through trials such as ‘the pub test’ and scrutinising the way they eat the nation’s culinary staples.



While much of this can be put down to wanting to humiliate the upper class, there is a sense that Australians want to vote for someone who is just like them, a sentiment Mr Morrison has achieved by doing a woeful job at running a country.



“I think I’m doing what any Australian would do in this situation,” stated Mr Morrison, holding an empty case of VB that he insisted was actually full.



“Not saying anything, shitting myself in private and getting on with it by doing something really homophobic.”



Mr Morrison claims his inaction on events that have seen Australians lose their home to a natural disaster fueled by climate change is exactly what everyone who talks politics at the pub would do if in office.



“I do have supporters, they’re just quiet about it. Not like us Sharkoes supporters! Up Sharkoes, up Sharkoes, go go go!”



“Paul Kelly! Whoo!”