“They’ve never done anything to me.”

Everybody’s heard this phrase at one point or another. It’s usually used in defence of an individual or group who have done something that has upset somebody else. Often the phrase is used to emancipate oneself from any involvement in a conflict.

This is often seen as the most just and fair assertion; they have not personally affected me, so I simply cannot judge. On the surface, it seems like a reasonable statement, but at best, it smacks of ignorance, and at worst, it can be outright dangerous.

The phrase, and others which are similar, are an effective way for people to justify their apathy towards a group or individual, and remain neutral in any situation. On a micro level, this may be a manipulative, amoral, abusive or dangerous person, whose actions go unchallenged by people around them because they have never themselves been affected by it. It could be a toxic person causing trouble for another, or an aggressive bully targeting an individual, and although this is almost universally accepted as an unacceptable way to behave, all too often we are guilty of taking absolutely no action to defend the victims. The reasons for this are obvious, people don’t want to ‘interfere’ in the lives of others, they don’t want to create conflict, or worse, they do not want to be subjected to the person/group’s malevolence. Often, this inability to act is born from the notion that this particular aggressor is “not all bad” or has been misrepresented by others, and this is used to whitewash over all of the bad things the person has done.

-To give an example, I once encountered a woman in a relationship with an abusive and controlling partner. Her partner was not physically violent, but abuse comes in many forms and physical violence is not an essential trait of an abusive relationship. Now even though all of her friends knew about her boyfriend’s controlling ways, demeaning actions and general cruelty, nobody wanted to say or do anything about it. Many even went so far as to blame the woman for not leaving him, and used this to justify their casual ignorance of his abhorrent behaviour. Of course, he was never overtly hostile to anybody other than his girlfriend, and so consequently, nobody ever stood up to him. The fact that I constantly tried to stress was that often manipulative people will try to act amicable and pleasant when they can, that’s how they end up in such positions to begin with, and over time, these hostilities can turn physical. Of course, this is just one isolated incident of ignorance triumphing over action, but at a macro level, this emancipation from responsibility can allow fringe groups to seize power. When people apply the same logic of “they’ve never done anything to me” to political groups, this can be extremely dangerous.

This apathy towards wider societal injustices is reminiscent of the poem “Not my business” by Niyi Osundare, in which the narrator turns a blind eye to the injustices happening to people he knows, until the perpetrators turn their attention to him, and he finds there is nobody left to defend him.

It’s easy to keep your head down, and justify the reprehensible actions of others by claiming that it’s none of your business, but this placid apathy and ignorance will always come back to haunt you. Manipulative, controlling and vindictive people are not overtly hostile, quite the opposite in fact, many will go out of their way to appear friendly to as many people as possible, and this in turn allows them to gather more social power. If this is left unchallenged, the consequences can be horrifying. It’s not okay to base your judgments of someone or something just by how it affects you personally. I’ve never been personally affected by apartheid, the genocide in Sudan or the slave trade, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a right to say that those things are fucked up.

Ultimately, there is very little I can personally do to right some of the bigger problems in the world, but progress can be made with the people I interact with every day, and small actions can lead to big changes. This in turn can have a ripple effect on others, and from small changes, long lasting impact on the structure of society can begin to take effect. This is why I believe it is essential that people, as a collective, stand up to injustice and oppression wherever they see it, in any way they can. It’s not enough to simply absolve oneself from responsibility by renouncing any personal involvement. If your friend is being bullied, stand up for them, if somebody at your work is passed over for promotion based on their gender, race or sexual orientation, stand up for them. Even if it doesn’t feel like it’s your place, even if it doesn’t benefit you directly, even if it’s not your problem, stand up for them, because at some point, it will be your problem.

JC Axe

Read JC Axe Fiction

‘Like’ JC Axe on Facebook

Hire JC Axe for a project.