“This is not just to protect american jobs, but also to protect american culture,” a spokesperson told the Daily Gold Rush. “And while american men live sexless in their parents basements, those immigrants fuck our girls at shows.”

UPDATE: President Trump spoke approvingly of the DJ Association’s demands. “When have we beat the netherlands in DJ Mags list for the last time? Just look at any EDM compilation on youtube. Almost all of those songs come from europe. I’m going to make america great again.”

UPDATE 2: “That’s not gonna happen,” Steve Bannon told the Daily Gold Rush: “I love dance music and I listen to A State of Trance every week. It’s an essential part of judeo-christian culture. Muslims are the enemy.”