So a month ago I was hooking up with some guy off Grindr. We were making out, kissing each other’s necks, nibbling each other’s ears. Generally normal stuff. When suddenly, he just shoves his tongue deep inside my ear and works it around in there. And naturally, I’m in a state of shock, because who fucking expects that move?

But at the same time I’m overcome with the most bizarre and intense pleasure. It feels like he’s directly eating out my brain. It’s like ASMR but real and about 20 times more intense. And it was so unexpectedly intimate. Like after he stopped I felt kind of embarrassed.

So now I fucking hate this guy, because he introduces me to the world of auralingustm and then drops off the face of the earth. So I’m left with what I can only assume is a fairly uncommon fetish. One which I can’t perform alone and which seems too weird to just ask any random Grindr hookup to do to me.

So yeah. I recommend getting your ears tongue-fucked. It’ll complicate your sex life.