It may be time to let young Matt Canavan into the terrible, seditious secret of the south.

Melbourne uses the hook turn because (gasp) it’s a political metaphor.

Victorians, even when they wish to turn right, are required to veer left first.

Little did Matt Canavan know that the hook turn sign is also a political metaphor. Credit:Pat Scala

Why, once they’ve settled to the left, Melburnians are required by law to sit around over there, thinking about it, before finally being allowed to make a dash for it, the light turning red, a tide of adrenaline rising in them because, on their way to the feared right, they could get run down if they’re not quick enough.