The holidays are a time for giving, so I gave my gift to my sister Rory. I had such a warm feeling after giving Rory my arbitrary day gift that I decided to do it again for the holidays. She got really excited when I told her and immediately claimed the prize.

After all, it really is best suited to her, as I would have definitely needed a large but she would fit perfectly snug inside the medium flat-rate sized box. I told her that I’d help open the gift and get it setup for her while she eats the rest of our dinner. I was a bit hungry, but that’s okay. I’ll hog the treats later, problem solved. You see, I’ve been down this road before. I’m not a tourist to reddit gifts. I know what’s up.

Into the bedroom I went, sharp claw out, one slit across the top, and all the good stuff came out. I tucked everything under the bed and slung her new home into the living room. “Homes ready!” I smiled at her, she gleamed at me and jumped into her new home. I’ve never seen her so happy. You know what they say, simple minds simple pleasures.

Check if she’s asleep, it’s time to make my move. I slunk back into the bedroom and under the bed. The pile of stuff was huge! Meat treats! Wiggle treats! A holiday sweater for Rory! A MANE?! A MOTHERFUCKING MANE?! YES! Porn?! There is a wrapped gift completely covered in scantily clad sexy lady cats. The only thing missing from this gift was booze and fireworks, but I can easily trade up the porn to the alley cats.

Inside the gift was a really cool laser. I told Rory not to look into the beam, we’ll see how that goes. She’s already walked into the wall twice, so, ya know.

A great gift! Thank you Secret Santa!