RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

Not content with just spreading birther conspiracy theories about the president, at least one far-right broadcaster is now looking into whether Michelle Obama is lying about her gender, while conservative “investigator” James O’Keefe blows his latest operation.

5) Obama Will ‘Rape Your Children’

The Religious Right had a very mild and calm reaction to a letter from the Obama administration instructing school districts to treat transgender students “consistent with the student’s gender identity,” and the one conservative pundit with the most reasonable reaction was Rick Wiles.

Wiles told listeners this week that the letter could trigger a “civil war” where those who oppose the decision are “beaten in the streets.”

He warned listeners that President Obama is “coming into the schools to rape your children.”

“Satan wants to rape your children,” he added.

4) Fake News Explosion

A recent report from Buzzfeed News on “fake news websites” with names like “Associated Media Coverage,” “National Report” and “World News Daily Report” found that such outlets are cranking out totally bunk stories feeding into right-wing promoted fears about the dangers of transgender women and LGBT-inclusive policies, and many of them have gone viral, picking up tens of thousands of Facebook shares and even finding their way onto conservative news outlets.

One of the men behind “National Report” told BuzzFeed that the recent debate over North Carolina’s anti-LGBT law, HB2, has been “easy money,” noting that his site profits from conservatives’ “persecution complex.”

“As you have likely noticed, the bathroom issue has really hit a nerve with evangelicals and Conservatives making it a ripe topic for ridicule,” said Allen Montgomery, the pseudonym used by a man who runs NationalReport.net and other fake news sites. “These topics that highlight their (perceived) persecution complex are good business for those in the hoax and/or satire industry.” He said he’s only published three or four stories pegged on the bathroom issue, but that others are going after what he calls the “easy money” of HB2 hoaxes. The result is that fake news sites are churning out new trans-themed stories on an almost-daily basis to capitalize on the political polarization and anti-LGBT stance at the heart of HB2.

Indeed, we have frequently seen conservatives use totally fabricated claims originating from National Report articles to push fears about President Obama, Sharia law in the U.S., Pope Francis and LGBT-themed policies.

The mayor of Dearborn, Michigan, had to issue an official response to an article on the spoof site alleging that the city decided to “fully implement Sharia law,” and one San Francisco school was inundated with threats following a National Report story about a nonexistent school with a similar name supposedly suspending a nine-year-old student for saying “Merry Christmas” to an atheist teacher. In 2013, a Fox News anchor “apologized for falsely reporting that President Obama would personally pay to keep the International Museum of Muslim Cultures open during the government shutdown,” a bogus story that originated in the National Report.

3) Still No Gun Grab

In his final year in office, President Obama has yet to carry out the grand gun grab that conservatives have been predicting will take place since before he was elected.

Naturally, Fox News put their own spin on the realization that Obama still hasn’t moved to confiscate firearms, with pundit Charles Payne warning today that Hillary Clinton “is really adamant about carrying on this goal of taking firearms from Americans” and will undoubtedly “figure out a creative way to take guns or at least stop people from buying new guns.”

2) Investigation Gone Wrong

James O’Keefe, the right-wing activist who has made a living launching smear campaigns against liberals, was hot on the trail of his latest big scoop when he burned his own case.

As he told the conservative outlet Breitbart, O’Keefe tried to set up a meeting with the Open Society Foundations, which was founded by George Soros, while posing as a Hungarian businessman as part of an investigation into billionaires who “create agitprop movements to undermine democracy.”

Soros has long been a target of far-right pundits who believe he is surreptitiously orchestrating world events.

Unfortunately, as O’Keefe told Breitbart, he forgot to hang up the phone while leaving a voicemail with an Open Society staff member, accidentally detailing his plans while the recording was ongoing. He went to Breitbart to reveal this slip up just in case the staffer tipped off media outlets to his “investigation.”

So I left this individual a voicemail, but I forgot to hang up the phone. I thought the call was finished, and my team and I started discussing plans to make more phone calls to the Open Society Foundations as well as to organizations like [it]. And all of this was being recorded on a voicemail [message]. There may have been conversations with my staff pertaining to the Soros foundation. And I think it lasted about 10 minutes. … I also think the Soros Foundation shared this recording with members of the media, who may be publishing it at some point.

But don’t worry, O’Keefe promises some big news soon, as he claims to “have at least one full-time individual employed by Hillary Clinton at the upper echelons of her campaign.”

1) Alex Jones Is On The Case

Alex Jones knows that Michelle Obama is a man.

He also knows that she had Joan Rivers killed.

As the InfoWars host explained to viewers this week, he has seen enough internet videos to corroborate his belief that the first lady is actually a man, and is quite confident that she put a hit on the late comedienne after she joked that the First Lady is a “tranny.”

We only hope that his pal Donald Trump will get to the bottom of this.