Fox News is teeming with Christmas spirit, preparing its audience for the giving season by making sure no one hands out anything to the “poors” plaguing this great nation. Colbert breaks down the “O’Reilly Factor” episode we posted last week in which the conservative host tries to convince us Jesus wouldn’t have approved of tax dollars being spent on social welfare programs. But it’s not just Bill O’Reilly who believes the food stamps and cash the destitute receive are spent on crack.

Fox Business host John Stossel joined in on the holiday fun to make a case for never giving a single dollar to another homeless person.

And how did the financial guru prove the poor are unworthy of your money? By posing as a homeless man, of course, raking in an outstanding 11 bucks an hour. “Make it rain!” Colbert shouted, “while, of course, praying that it doesn’t rain. …”

Following in Stossel’s footsteps, Colbert added his “tu-pents” to the un-charity basket by creating his own seasonal family special: “Homeless for the Holidays.”

So there you have it, folks: If you’re trying to get in the mood for the giving season, just watch Fox News long enough for your heart to turn to coal and rid yourself of any benevolence you have left. That’s the real idea behind Christianity, after all.

—Posted by Natasha Hakimi