AC/DC replaces singer who can’t hear with singer who can’t sing

Rock band AC/DC have confirmed that all remaining shows on their current world tour will begin at least three hours late.

Singer Brian Johnson had to step back from the band due to hearing problems, resulting in former Guns n Roses frontman Axl Rose being given the job.

Rose confirmed his appointment by immediately sacking guitarist Angus Young and replacing him with someone he felt ‘a better fit for the band.’

Management have announced that to mark the change in lineup the words “Rock or” will be removed from the name of the current tour.

Signature tune “You shook me all night long” has also been retitled “You’ll shake me sometime tomorrow when you can be bothered.”

Fans initially assumed this was an April Fool’s joke two weeks late, which counts as prompt for Axl.

“Axl took twelve years to get an album out, so fourteen days to make a joke… Pfft. That’s almost instant by comparison,” we were told.

“Fingers crossed that in about six weeks Axl announces ‘ha ha got you going’. That’d be hilarious.

“Yeah. Hilarious. God, please.”

A spokesman for the band confirmed that refunds on tickets already sold would not be available because if there’s one thing Axl loves more than smack it’s money.

“For those about to rock, we apologise”, he said.

A new album is scheduled for 2047.