Life in Equestria shimmers,

Life in Equestria shines~

And I know for absolute certain,



That everything is certainly fine.









Today was the day.





The Great Hall of Canterlot Castle was stuffed to capacity with ponies. Giant, glittering tapestries hung from the walls, proudly displaying the six-pointed star of the House of Twilight. The citizens chattered excitedly among themselves, the hall awash with conversation-until at last, a horn bugle cut through the noise. A hush fell over the crowd, and Equestria's newest princess entered at last.





A choir of golden mares preceded her down the aisle, filling the air with joyous song, announcing her highness' arrival. Pandora strode quietly behind them, her head held high. She walked the way she'd been instructed, planting one hoof firmly in front of the other, spine ramrod straight. Praying desperately, to every god she could name, that she wouldn't vomit in front of these thousands of ponies.







Today was the day.





Blood pounded in her ears, and her hooves wobbled with each step. Her heart fluttered wildly in her chest, like a caged bird trying to escape. A terrible feeling gnawed at her gut-but Pandora told herself it was only excitement. She forced up a bright smile, waving at her audience. She was excited, damn it. She'd worked so hard for this. Years of study, charity work, carefully constructing a bond of trust and friendship between herself and the ponies. Her future subjects. She should be thrilled. She deserved this.









....Celestia, why did she feel so terrified?









The processional song swelled to a close as Pan finally reached the alter. Princess Twilight Sparkle graced the stage, joined by Princess Skyla. Both her mother and cousin stood beautiful and beaming in the gentle evening glow. Pride gleamed in their eyes as they watched Pan's approach.









She should feel proud too. She'd earned this. She'd worked for this. Why oh why was her stomach starting to churn?











Twilight began. "Good evening, dear citizens of Canterlot. We are gathered here today for a momentous occasion. A new young pony has stepped up to serve Equestria as a princess....my very own daughter, Pandora Eris Sparkle, of House Twilight and House Discordia."









Pan spared a glance over her shoulder to search for her father in the crowd, but there were too many ponies. The weight of thousands of equine eyes settled upon her. Watching. Waiting. Pan gulped and turned back, desperately wishing she hadn't looked.





Twilight continued, launching into what was probably a very touching speech on friendship, harmony, growth, yadda yadda.....and Pandora zoned out, as she often did when her mother lectured on the magic of friendship. Bless this purple mare, Panny loved her, she did, but Pan had heard it all before. Pan focused instead on keeping her breathing steady, on keeping the rest of her scrambled egg breakfast in her belly, where it belonged.





After a moment, she braved another glance out into the crowd. So many smiling faces, all enraptured by her mother's speech. Abruptly, Pan caught sight of a single elderly mare in the audience. It was her enormous, floppy hat that'd snagged Pan's attention-the ridiculous number was decorated with real, honest-to-Celestia fruit. Real cherries, bananas, apples- heck, even a dang zucchini- had all been artfully arranged around the brim.







The sight struck Pan as so wonderfully absurd that for a moment, she forgot her discomfort, and lifted a hoof to stifle a snort. How ridiculous was that hat? Real fruit-are you serious? For a split second, Pan let her imagination roam, picturing a hungry fruit bat-no! A whole swarm of ravenous fruit bats, flying through the air, ravaging that stupid hat to pieces, causing the ponies to stampede for cover. What fun, delicious chaos it'd be! All just one simple summoning spell away-







Pan's brain immediately slammed the breaks, horrified with herself-and with the faint fizzle of chaos magic that'd already been bubbling up inside her veins, ready to do her bidding. What the fuck was wrong with her? Here she was, at her own coronation, after years of proving that she wasn't the monster everyone thought she is, and now she was entertaining daydreams of making ponies scream and flee? No-that wasn't her! Not anymore. She was good now. She was a perfect princess, they all loved her now-



.....Right?







Worry trickled back into her mind. She swallowed hard, trying to force down the fear. Everything would be okay. She didn't need chaos anymore. She was better off without it. She would-





A shudder suddenly rolled through her body. Her mouth felt strange. She moved her tongue, prodding teeth that felt much sharper than they'd been moments ago. Almost as if they were reverting back to fangs....





With a start, Pan realized the very real possibility of her perfect, prim equine form failing. She could sense the pressure building....she'd been holding this pony form for weeks with no issue, but now, terrifyingly suddenly, she felt her body threatening to buckle, to twist and mutate back into her awful true form, here, in front of thousands of ponies.





She didn't want to become herself again. Not here. She turned and saw that endless ocean of eyes watching her, and the pressure became a great serpent winding around her body, constricting her throat. She couldn't breathe.





Damn it, her own body was betraying her. She felt her front hooves tingling, threatening to shift back into claws-and the flesh of her back crawled, her great wings waiting to burst free from the surface.





Twilight was still talking, blissfully unaware.







"My daughter has requested to be granted a new name-" Twilight's voice hitched suddenly, and when Pan spared a peek upward, she was shocked to find her mother's bright eyes brimming with tears, her smile so wide it threatened to split her face. "Ahem. I-I have chosen a name from the ancient House of Twilight, reaching back to the kingdom of Unicornia. Unicornia, as we know, was a kingdom predating-"





Pan clenched her jaw shut, trying to halt the growth of her fangs. Please, Mom, for once, condense. You can skip the history lesson! Please, mother, I don't know how much longer I can maintain this-





"-fitting, as my daughter has chosen to reinvent herself for the better. As a princess, she will help usher in a new age of peace and harmony. She will be my eventual successor, radiant and brilliant-"





Any other time, Pandora would have been touched. Now, she could only struggle not to pant from the exertion of holding herself together, her mother's words only igniting a new layer of doubt in her mind-





It can't be much longer now. The crown will be on your head any second. Breathe. Breathe. You can do this, you can make Mom proud-you can't screw up this early-Not this soon!







"-Now, before the coronation, if I could ask the choir to lead us in a rousing rendition of the Equestrian anthem-"





Oh for Celestia's sake!





Pandora darted forward. Lighting her horn, she seized the small tiara from Twilight's plush holding pillow, and violently thrust it upon her own head. She sucked in a ragged gulp of air, finally daring to breathe.





There. It's done.





She panted, trying to steady herself, allowing a flicker of triumph to blaze in her heart-she'd held it! She was still a pony! She.....she lifted her head, wondering why the room had gone so quiet.





The audience was gaping at her in shock. Pan's ears pricked at the beginning of hushed, scandalized murmurs. She glanced at her mother-who was staring back at her, her magic still clutching the pillow that'd only just held Pandora's tiara. Her mouth still hung open, interrupted mid-sentence.







Ponies were so adamant about rules and traditions. A princess' tiara was always bestowed to her. No princess had ever snatched the damned thing for herself before. Fear gripped Pan's gut. She'd just broken a rule-she hadn't even been princess for five minutes, and already, she'd crapped on a thousand years of Canterlot royal tradition.





Skyla leapt to the rescue, flaring her wings and giving a loud, nervous laugh. "Ah-it would seem your princess is already eager to serve Equestria!"





The crowd returned a rumble of awkward, uncertain laughter, a few ponies clapping their hooves. Twilight seemed to wake up from her shock, and shot Skyla a grateful smile. "Ahem. Y-yeah, I'll say." She gave Pan a discreet nudge with her wing, a quiet reassurance- before turning back to address the audience.









Lumina Sparkle."



Lumina. "Brilliant Light." Pan recalled how she and her mother had chosen that name together. It was a name shared by her ancestors, mares who had released untold magical wonders upon the world. It was her new name, her new identity- she clung to it like driftwood in rough water.



Please, let this work.....



The crowd erupted into thunderous applause, and Pan let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. Her eye caught a brief green flash-her brother Spike had unleashed a proud plume of emerald flames. She grinned, wide and genuine, wanting nothing more than to blast dragonfire right back at him, starting up a friendly round of mauling. She turned her happiness upon the crowd, lifting her hoof to wave warmly. She caught sight of Cupcake at her designated post, standing armored and at attention-but the earth pony broke form for an instant to wink at the princess. A happy giggle bubbled out from Pan, her cheeks turning pink.



"For her first act-" Twilight happily announced, cutting through the cheer- "Princess Lumina will bathe the hall in an illumination spell, symbolizing the light and love she will share with all of Equestria."

Pan jolted, realizing that was her cue. She beamed at her audience, then summoned magic to her horn to perform the spell.



Her horn flickered to life, igniting for a brief moment-then promptly sputtered out.

"And so, without further ado, ladies and gentlecolts...may I present for the very first time....PrincessSparkle."





"Uh...." Pan glanced about. "Oh, dear. Pardon me, citizens, I'm just a little nervous...." She tried for a cute, reassuring giggle, but sounded more like a pigeon choking on a cracker. She attempted the spell again, but this time, her horn didn't light at all. "Come on, come on-" She hissed, straining. She put all her might into casting the spell, her face flushing red from the exertion.







Slowly, the crowd's smiles slid from their faces, replaced with looks of confusion and concern. Silence fell, and Pan became all too aware of her own grunts and muttered swears.







"Breathe, sweetie." Twilight urged quietly, brushing a wing against her. "Don't strain yourself, Lumina."





Lumina. Brilliant Light. Yet here she was, struggling to cast a basic damned illumination spell. It was simple spellwork- a foal could do it- so why couldn't she light her damned horn? Pan's cheeks burned at her failure, and she was ashamed and terrified to feel the hot prick of tears sting her eyes.









From the back of the crowd, there came a muffled laugh. Pan's ears swiveled suddenly, trying to locate the source of the sound. She swung her head wildly, eyes bouncing angrily from one pony to another-who had laughed? Who had dared to laugh at her? She could have sworn she'd heard somepony snickering.....









Her ears flicked again, catching whispers. She could see the ponies' mouths moving, ducking their heads to whisper amongst themselves. One stallion glanced up at her, then muttered something to his partner-whose muzzle crinkled up in a giggle. Another pony's mouth curved up into a sneer. In the back, one stallion pointed rudely- and near the front, a mare was shaking her head, mumbling something underneath her breath.









"I....citizens....." Pan's mouth had gone dry. The whispering was only growing louder, the hall buzzing like a swarm of hornets, threatening to suffocate her.











They were laughing at her. All of them.









Anger roared to life in Pandora's heart, and before she knew it, she'd reared up and stomped, her hooves coming down with a clatter that rang through the hall.





"How dare you." Her voice began as a quiet hiss, before flooding suddenly with volume. "How dare you all? Do you-do you have any idea how hard I've worked for this? How long I've trained for you? For this night? I studied for years-practicing everything from emergency crisis drills to learning the difference between fancy Luna-damned salad forks-and now, the one time I mess up, the one moment I show a crack of imperfection, you turn on me like a pack of timberwolves!"





Pan's voice crashed through the hall like thunder, and the crowd recoiled with fear, a million eyes going wide. It only infuriated Pan further, her face twisting into a snarl.









"How dare you still fear me? You're supposed to love me, damn it! I am your princess! I threw away everything about myself to become what you wanted-what you needed-! Everything I am is for you! I am your princess- I am Lumina!" She opened her mouth and roared, evening light glinting off her fangs.









A pony screamed.











Pandora glanced down, and saw that the hoof she'd been waving around had somehow twisted into a powerful lion's paw, great, wicked claws bursting from the tips. Gargantuan, leathery bat wings had erupted from her back, casting shadows on the ponies below- and yet her body was still mutating. She felt her spine stretching unlike anypony alive, heard the creak of her bones as they warped and snapped.







It was happening. She was losing control.





Magic thundered out of her body in sickening surges. She curled inward with a groan, trying to restrain it, but wayward bolts of lightning sparked around her, seeking a target to strike. She was undergoing a horrifying, hideous metamorphosis- and no spell could hope to stop it.







A memory floated up in her mind, the words of her father. Discord had always said that one couldn't hope to restrain chaos. This, he'd said, was why his stone imprisonment had only lasted a mere millennium. Trying to capture the forces of chaos was like shaking up an especially delicious bottle of fizzy cola-it'd only end in an explosion. Pan felt it now, the forces of chaos churning within her core like magma beneath a volcano. It boiled away, seeking an escape-and finally, it broke free.







In a flash of magic, two heavy overhead chandeliers dropped from the ceilings to shatter on the ground, becoming thousands of shards of candy. Storm clouds swirled into existence in mid-air, and promptly drenched the bleating ponies in a torrent of blackberry jam and dead fish. Thick, thorny vines surged out of the ground in an explosion of tile, and began lashing out, snaring ponies in their tendrils, dragging them screaming across the hall.







Faintly, Pan heard others shouting orders, the guard ponies trying to calm the stampeding crowd. She watched the scene unfolding, her hooves rooted to the ground, afraid to move, afraid to make things worse-





A pony fell in front of Pan, shattering her trance. It was the old mare with the fruit hat. At some point Pan's magic had conjured a horde of hissing fruit bats, and the swarm had descended upon the old mare, shredding her hat to bits while she shrieked in terror, attempting feebly to kick them away.





Pan leapt forward, yelling assurances at the wild crowd. "It's alright, everypony! Please- don't be afraid! I can have everything back to normal in a moment!" She fired a blast of transformation magic at the bat swarm, and they dropped to the ground as harmless plush toys. She reached out to the fallen mare, trying to help her to her hooves. She wrapped her lion paw around the mare's hoof, her claws digging into soft flesh. "Ma'am, let me assist you-"









Monster.



The mare staggered to her hooves and ran away. Everypony was running away. Of course they were.



All her work had been for nothing. The ponies of Equestria didn't love her. They'd only ever loved the pretty princess persona she'd forced herself into, like a dress two sizes too small. They would never see the person she was beneath. She would always be in the spotlight and under scrutiny, always have ponies observing her like a specimen under a microscope, waiting, praying for her to fuck up. It was fun for them-getting to gossip about Equestria's resident monster and her latest exploded spell. Her coronation had been nothing more than an opportunity to gawk at her failure up close.



Quiet, black rage welled within her. In that moment, she saw the miserable, puny little equines and hated that she could never truly be one of them. In that moment, Pandora hated them.



Her eyes began to glow. They wanted chaos? She'd show them real chaos.

The old mare wrenched her hoof away, swatting weakly at Pan. She opened her mouth in a choked scream, and a single word registered to the princess.





"Panny?"





The weight of Twilight's hoof fell upon Pan's shoulder- but in that very instant, a powerful shock wave of chaos was unleashed, flooding the room with blinding light. The windows of the castle hall were blown out by the force of the explosion.









Time slowed to a standstill. Pandora stood panting, her lungs pumping like bellows. It'd felt so good-so fucking good-to finally, finally, let go.











The smoke began to clear. Guard ponies had been tossed about like toys. Skyla had been hurled against a wall, and now low groaning, trying to stagger to her hooves. With effort, she heaved herself up, and galloped over to where Twilight lay crumpled upon the ground.









Pandora froze.









Skyla nosed desperately at her aunt, finally managing to rouse her. Twilight lifted her head, disoriented.....before her eyes finally found Pandora's.







Pan opened her mouth, but the words died on her tongue. Twilight's eyes shone with hurt and disappointment, but there was something new there that immediately

extinguished Pan's fury, rattling her to her core.









Fear. Her mother's eyes were wide with fear. In this moment-even if just for a moment- Twilight was afraid of her.









The world dropped out from underneath Pandora. I hurt Mom.









She was a monster. The ponies had been right. She was something to be feared, something that destroyed, and no amount of training or stupid, sparkly tiaras could ever hope to change that.









Skyla spotted her and charged forward, ever the perfect princess. "Pandora, are you alright?....What in Equestria happened?"







"I....I...."









Pandora looked around the ruined room, searching for an answer. Her eyes met her mother's one last time, but the shame was simply to great to bear. With one last flash, all effects from her magic flickered and died.





And Pandora turned tail and fled.











It'd taken ages to account for all the guests, and yet more time to calm them. Clean-up had been even more exhausting. But Cupcake pressed on in her search. Mama Pie hadn't raised a quitter.....Pandora couldn't have gotten far.





In the northern tower of Canterlot castle, Cupcake's sharp ears caught a strange, animalistic sound echoing from above. She followed the keening up flight after flight of stairs, until at last, she found the source.









The draconequus lay sagging, nearly lifeless, against the balcony rail. Her entire body shook with the force of her sobbing.











Cupcake took a careful step forward, but her armored horseshoes clicked against the tile. Pandora jerked up in alarm.







"Oh!....H-hello, Cupcake." Pan ducked her head and scrubbed furiously at her raw, red face. She forced a bright grin, but couldn't meet Cupcake's eyes. She opted instead to smile down at the ground, speaking pleasantly to her friend. ".....So, how bad did I bungle that up, on a scale of 1 to 10? I'd say at least 13."











Cupcake ignored the question. "Are you okay, Princess?"









Pandora was quiet for a long moment, tail lashing- before she slowly reached up to pull off her tiara. The crown had been inlaid with a gem cut into a six-pointed star, and Pandora examined it for a long moment, studying the way it reflected her face.







"....I'm going to run away, Cupcake."





Cupcake sighed. "Princess, you can't run from your problems-"





Pandora turned to snap. "You don't get it, Cupcake. Didn't you see what happened back there? I am the problem. I mess up, and ponies get hurt. Ergo-I am removing myself from society." She scoffed, turning away. "....I'll be a hermit. Live in a cave."









Cupcake trotted over, taking her place beside her friend. "And what will you eat, you dongle?" She said sternly, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but sushi cupcakes aren't found in the wild. You'll starve."









"I'll eat rocks. Gravel makes good seasoning." Pan sniffed. "....I never said it was the best plan. I just....I can't face Mom, again, Cuppy. Not after that." At long last, she turned to look at her friend. Her eyes were wet, her entire face on the verge of collapse. "I have to go."









Cupcake stood to her hooves. "Then I'll go with you."





"Cupcake, no." Pandora said firmly. She rose up to her full height. "You trained for two years to be a royal guard. You can't toss that away because I screwed up. We'll go back downstairs, and you'll be transferred to a real princess. I know for a fact Skyla would appreciate you out in the Crystal Empire-"





"I didn't become a Royal Guard to work under Skyla." Cupcake said curtly.





"Celestia, then." Pan snapped impatiently. "Or Luna-you could work under Commander Tempest! You'll go somewhere where you can be fully utilized."





"You'll be alone. I know you don't want to be alone, Panny."





"I - that doesn't matter!" Pan growled, tugging her mane in frustration. "We're talking about what's best for you, Cupcake! This stopped being about me the second I blew a chunk out of Canterlot Castle. I'm not some pathetic creature for you to take pity on, and you will not throw your life away on my account! Do you understand now? This isn't about me!" She snarled, trying intimidate the little earth pony-but Cupcake didn't so much as flinch.





"You're an idiot." Cupcake lifted her head. ".....It's always been about you, Pandora."





Pan opened her mouth to retort, but Cupcake shoved her hoof to the draconequus' muzzle, effectively shutting her up.







"Two years." Cupcake said. "Fifteen bone fractures. Sixteen major lacerations. Seven hundred and forty-three days away from my family, away from the only home I've ever known."





"I know." Pandora's voice cracked. ".....I'm sorry-"





"Shut up." Cupcake interrupted. "This isn't to inspire a fresh pity party. I understood what I signed up for, but you don't seem to understand why. I don't give a damn about working under a 'real princess', Panny." She removed her hoof from Pan's face. "I trained to make myself stronger. To learn who I am meant to be. To protect the ponies that matter most. My family. Ponyville. You."





Pan's eyes glittered with something like hope-but she quickly shut it down, shaking her head. "Exactly, Cups. Ponyville needs you. Go back to it." Her paws began to spark with chaos magic, an ominous sound. "....If you don't go, I'll force you."









"I'd love to see you try." The corner of Cupcake's mouth pulled up in a smirk. She spread her hooves in a fighting stance, challenging Pan's bluff.











Pandora paused, frowning. ".....Why?" She looked down at the ground again, and began wringing her tail. "Cuppy, you really seemed to have missed the memo.....I'm a loser, dearie."





"Perhaps." Cupcake shrugged. "I mean, for a demi-god, you're woefully insecure. You're self-defeating. Melodramatic. Too prone to marathon weeping. You bottle your anxieties inside, and the effects can be explosive. You are a spineless noodle-weenie, and you care too much about what other ponies think."











"And you, my darling, are terrible at pep talks."









"But-" Cupcake continued. "....You're also adventure personified. You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met before, Panny. You are brilliant, you are creative. You are kind, you are crazy.”







Startled at this sudden torrent of earnest praise, Pandora felt her face burn. "Um-"





“Don't argue. Listen....I’ve always felt trapped in the mold I was placed into at birth. Cupcake the baker. Nothing more. But you, Panny...you break molds. You brought to my life vibrance. Adventure. Possibility.” She smiled, then reached over to boop Pan's nose. “Chaos.”



"You.....you'd really stay with me?" Pan's eyes welled up, touched. "E-e-even if I can be a spineless noodle-weenie?"





"Even so." Cupcake nodded. She lifted her hoof to stroke Pan's cheek- and graced the draconequus with one of her rare, genuine smiles. "I would follow you anywhere, princess. To the ends of Equestria, if need be."





Pandora made a keening noise in her throat, swallowing a sob. In a heartbeat, she launched herself forward, throwing her body around her oldest friend. She hugged as only a draconequus could-all in all, it resembled a particularly affectionate boa constrictor. Cupcake sighed, resting her cheek against Pan's chest, and for a long moment, they simply felt each other breathe.





Pandora pulled away, then leaned down to kiss Cupcake's nose. "....You're the best knight I've ever had, Cupcake."





"I'm the only knight you've ever had, princess."





"Details, dearie, details." Pan grinned at that, wide and true. A comfortable silence fell between the two, and for a while, they contented themselves gazing up at the night sky.





"....You know, your father thought the fruit bats were clever."





"Did he now?" Pan asked drily. "....I suppose that was some pretty good chaos. How would you rate it?"





"On a scale of one to ten?" Cupcake pondered. "Ninety-three."





A snicker burst from Pan. "Ha. Maybe it was dumb of me to pretend to be some sparkly pony princess. If nothing else, I'm pretty dang good at sowing discord in the hearts of mortals." Pan glanced down at the six-pointed star that adorned her chest. It lay unusually dim and dormant, nearly the same grey as the fur that flanked it. She frowned, then used her paws to smooth down her chest ruff, carefully hiding the dull star. "....Maybe destiny is a load of bunk."





"I certainly like to think so." Cupcake said, sparing a look to her plain confectionery cutie mark.





"Well then, dearie.....up for a little more chaos?"





The corner of Cupcake's mouth curved up.







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Hours later, someone broke into the home of Princess Twilight Sparkle. Curiously, all valuables lay untouched. The only sign of disturbance was the glittering, golden tiara that'd been left on Twilight's pillow.....as well as a brief note, written in familiar scrawl.





Mother,

It turns out this princess stuff isn't really for me, you know? Too stuffy, too boring, too many rules! I'm a born troublemaker. You knew that, that's why you named me Pandora, right? Chaos is the new name of the game, baby! I guess you can consider that crazy coronation my official letter of resignation. Pretty cool, huh?



I know this isn't what you expected. I know I wasted a lot of your time. But maybe you can take Skyla or Moony on as a student now. You deserve somepony who'll make you proud, Mom.



I'm sorry I couldn't be the one to do that. How'd a crazy powerful, awesome alicorn like you get stuck with a screw-up like me? Ah, well, guess that's chaos for you!



I'll get out of your hair now. Me and Cupcake have big, big plans for Manehatten. Maybe we'll go see Broadway, maybe we'll make it hail jellyfish, who knows? We sure don't! Smell ya later! Kisses!





-Signed,







The Lady of Mischief~















finally updated with dialogue, oy



sorry for the length, the story behind pan and cupcake being traveling magic hobos, as opposed to princess and knight, is kind of a long tale





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