Published in the January 2013 issue

On my first deployment to Al Anbar, Iraq, in early 2005, I was nineteen years old and scared to death. The worst part about our engagements was simply that you never knew when it was your time to die. We would saddle up on the vehicles and cross over from friendly lines to "Indian territory" and patrol as ordered. All that held us together was trust and faith in our vehicle crews, confidence in our training, immediate action drills, and the ability to gain fire superiority when engaged. But still, the question always loomed, Will today be my day?

I don't recall who said it, but I remember hearing it at a machine-gun course when I was a combat instructor: "Never send a Marine when you can send a bullet. Never send a bullet when you can send a big bullet."

Never fill your magazines to maximum capacity; spring tension will deteriorate over time and cause a weapon stoppage. If it holds thirty, fill twenty-seven. Always make sure your last four rounds are tracers, as it helps to remind you when you're going to have to reload.

Jerking off in a Porta-John while wearing a flak jacket is equivalent to running three miles in terms of sweat if it's summer in Iraq.

—Sergeant Spencer J. Pellecer, 26, Wilmington, North Carolina; eight years of service

"One thing my wise uncle said to my wife was 'Don't expect Danny to be normal. Don't expect him to tell you everything about his deployment in one sitting. He won't be able to, but as time goes on, more and more will come out and you will begin to understand what he has been through--and so will he.' " —Sergeant Dan Connally, 27, Germantown, Maryland; Eight Years of Service

"Don't use your flashlight as a pocket pussy without proper lubrication. It actually works pretty good with a couple of boot bands and Vaseline. To have the hands-free experience, just lodge it in the door of an HMV." —Anonymous

"My dad was a Marine in Vietnam. He's had PTSD his whole life — but only just started to get treatment when I did. He's been gutting it out for like thirty, forty years. Bad dreams, cold sweats, the whole nine. And he never told a soul." —Sergeant Alan R. Beaty, 39, Oneida, Tennessee; eight years of service

"I take something for my rage issues — so I know that works. And then I take my other ones only when I have panic attacks. Those pills are weird. It's like they make my insides calm down but they don't make my brain stop working. You know what I'm saying? It's like my brain is still going, What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?" —Sergeant Keith B. Hull, 38, Lewisville, Texas; five years of service

"Your government will lie to you to send you to war, and as a patriotic American you'll unhesitatingly and unquestionably answer the call. But once there, you'll fight for one thing and one thing only: survival." —Master Gunnery Sergeant Lawrence E. McCartney, 63, Buncombe County, North Carolina; thirty years of service

"When you see a dude get whacked — a friend of yours, a stranger, it don't matter — it always fucks you up." —Lieutenant Colonel T. A. "tbi Guy" Maxwell, 47, Dumfries, Virginia; twenty-one years of service

"I never want my son to have to experience war as an armed combatant." —Colonel R. O'neill Sinclair, 51, Oceanside, California; thirty years of service

"I would do it all again — and lay my life down — if it meant bringing back all the friends i lost." —Sergeant Darron D. Dale, 34, Quantico, Virginia; five years of service

"I tell this to my wife all the time: 'Life is what it is. It ain't so bad. It beats having people shooting at you.'" —Staff Sergeant Nic Meadows, 30, Swansboro, North Carolina; ten years of service

"No offense, but to ask what I learned from going to war and keep it to a few sentences is kind of an impossibility." —Staff Sergeant Jason "Crash" Jensen, 46, Selma, North Carolina; sixteen years of service

Mike Sager Mike Sager is a bestselling author and award-winning reporter who's been a contributor to Esquire for thirty years.

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