Failure — Motivations Best Friend

Failure. What an awful word. Filled to the brim with negative connotations and stigmas, how could it ever be beneficial to continuously fail? We all have the capability to accomplish the goals we aspire to someday conquer, but many times the fear of failure hinders us so deeply that we become stuck. Frozen in time…and this tends to lead to an ideology of, “I’m not good enough”, draining all our internal motivation. I think failure is positive, and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it.

This is as good as it gets. I accepted that and lost all my motivation.

Until I decided to look at my life from a different angle and/or perspective…I saw failing, generally from internal expectations, as the ultimate defeat.

Failure + glutinous mindsets = being stuck, frozen. While frozen, questions or regrets rise such as how could I possibly have failed? I did everything right, I prepared, did the proper research, made the right moves, saw upward growth, but still, I failed.

Leading to the thought of “I’ll never be smart enough for that endeavor, so I’ll just give up”. Questions even more personal like, “will I ever find a wife or husband who loves me?” “I wonder what people think or say behind my back about my newest failure?”

All of the pain caused by failing, ironically enough, was the mojo and sweet ambrosia I needed to begin a motivated life. The daily pain associated with life is sneaky and comes in infinite emotions and forms, but it only lasts so long.

So why do I extend my emotional pain whenever I fail? Sub-conscious and conscious negative thoughts consistently appearing in my mind creating a “new me”. These irrational thoughts created a vicious cycle of nothing but more pain.

This irrational thought process had no redeeming value, yet I repeated it again and again. It became a habit of self-doubt.

Initially, I was a mess when I failed, and the results of my work and social life visibly conveyed this. Only through the practice of self-awareness and discovering the power and necessity of failing did I finally gain glimmers of hope.

The pain from past failings taught me things I might have never learned. These life lessons of adversity create who we are and, coincidentally, are the motivating force behind any form of success we accomplish. Failure is our motivation fuel.

Sometimes you're happy, sometimes you’re sad. Sometimes you succeed, sometimes you just fail horribly. Sometimes you’re motivated, sometimes you’re just done with it. The unfortunate truth is that this is reality and a distinct part of life. Things can get ugly and they will…there is no “maybe” for failing. It will inevitably happen.

I’m sure those reading this right now are reminiscing on their own personal failures and how things could've been different.

“Gah, I should’ve kept going on with that major project”, or maybe you wish you kept trying in your last relationship.

Fuck that. It’s done. Move on. You did your best in each past moment and learned a lesson through past failures.

This will all be applied to your next challenge found in life. That next opportunity won’t come if one dwells in self-pity and self-doubt. They’ll stay stuck and frozen.

Rather, use something such as a failed relationship to better recognize the true qualities in a partner you would align with better, and be able to add more value to the next relationship.

This pain from failure is clear and we have all felt it, but how do I use this as motivation? Do I let it hurt and depress me or acknowledge it’s a new opportunity to pursue another endeavor? This pain can be long-term or it can be just a temporary injury.

Without a behavioral shift, people tend to lead lives full of regret and lackluster motivation and can fall into a seemingly inescapable chronic lack of confidence or depression.

Put yourself out there and recognize failure at its face value…

motivational fuel.

The lessons taught by failing can motivate your mind, body, and spirit to gain the courage needed to chase and achieve the goals, dreams, and passions found within all of us.

In the past, a major failure equated into a major roadblock in my personal life and mindset. Years of self-pity, while also hiding my insecurities, led to a colorless attitude towards life. When certain expectations weren’t met I felt overwhelmed with depression, filled with loneliness, and abandonment. Alone with not many friends but plenty of self-doubts. This stemmed directly from me EXPECTING to succeed rather than setting goals, dreams, and turning obstacles into opportunities.

I now relish my failures and how I was broken by adversity. My quarter-life crisis made me more motivated, empathic, and humble…all characteristics that some will never adopt because of their blindness to the value of failing.