MOYRA BRICK | Relationships | Contact

A reader wrote to The Advocate earlier this week asking what he should do about a local snake repeatedly catching up with his partner.

While he didn’t want to appear petty and overly-protective, he also didn’t like the fact it was happening.

Sam Toole, 25, revealed in his letter to our reporters that this has been going on for some time.

“I just don’t like the snake doing it,” he said.

“Who just ‘catches up’ with someone they’ve never caught in the first place? Fucking guy,”

“Anyway Moyra, what should I do? How do I get what I want without communicating with my girlfriend in a healthy, timely manner? Sam.”

Well Sam, here’s what you should do.

Head out and find the snake you’ve so aptly described. Confront him publically about it. Make sure to use your big boy voice and let him know what you really think.

Use that rage burning within you to get your point across.

If he laughs or tries to argue his point back at you, take a swing at him. Make sure he goes down.

When he’s inevitably on the ground, jump on his body (not his brain) so he doesn’t get back up and flog you.

That should swoop your lady right off her feet and back into your arms.

Happy loving!