So you want to enter the Indy 500?

INDIANAPOLIS -- Congratulations. Your uncle has come into some money. Serious money. Not second place at a beauty pageant money. Not a bank error in your favor kind of money. We’re talking about an unlucky soul landing on Boardwalk-with-a-hotel kind of money.

Anyway, here’s the better news. He’s feeling generous.

He calls you up and says, “I’ve just come into some money, and I want to help make your wildest dream come true.”

You don’t hesitate. You’ve been waiting for this phone call your whole life.

“Uncle Moneybags,” you say, “I want to enter the Indianapolis 500.”

The following is a 7-step process to building a month of May team from scratch and putting a car on the grid for the Indianapolis 500. Please note that all costs are estimates, and excuse the TV advertisement speech, but prices may vary.

Step 1. Brace for disappointment

You’re going to lose. Not just the race but your money, too.

For a team with built-in infrastructure, it costs about $1 million to field a competitive entry, according to longtime team owner Chip Ganassi. But you're building a team from scratch, which puts the price tag at $2 million or more.

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That’s a solid chunk of change, but it covers the car, the engine, the backup car and a top-notch crew and driver, plus equipment, supplies and more.

You could do it for less, but no matter which road you choose, it’s going to cost you, so you might as well do it right.

Note I: Prohibitive cost is one of the biggest reasons so many first-time teams pair up with established programs.

So when Uncle Moneybags asks you the reasonable question: “What are the odds I see a return on this investment?” You have two options: Laugh in his face or lie through your teeth.

You could tell him last year’s purse for the race was $13.2 million and hope his pupils roll back to reveal dollar signs. If that happens, great. Take the money and run. Cash that check before he realizes that $13.2 million is distributed throughout the field of 33.

However, if he keeps prying, you could tell him last year’s winner, Takuma Sato, pulled down a cool $2.45 million and, again, hope he stops asking questions.

Second and third won't come close to making a return on his investment. It will have to be first.

Now Uncle Moneybags wants to know: "What are the odds we win?” It wouldn’t be a lie to say 3 percent (1-in-33), but that leaves out a few key glaring details, including that the Team Moneybags car might not make the race — hello, Bump Day — and that the list of first-year, one-off teams to win the 500 since 2000 doesn’t exist.

So to make your dream come true — and to field a competitive entry — Uncle Moneybags has to be OK with punting away that $2 million-plus.

But we'll assume he’s become enamored with millions of people seeing “Moneybags” sprawled across an Indy car on Memorial Day weekend.

“What the heck,” he says. “I’m in.”

Note II: Most one-off teams/drivers are not lucky enough to have the face of Monopoly for an uncle. Many of them spend 365 days a year petitioning sponsors in hopes of raising enough to fund their dream.

Money spent in Step 1: $0. Total spent so far: $0.

Step 2. O Captain! My Captain!

This ain’t the good ol’ days where you just show up at the beginning of May with four wheels — or six, in one case — and an engine and hope for the best. Entering the 500 has become a much more complicated proposition. In order to do it right, you'll have to get started in January at the latest.

The first thing you need is someone in the know. Uncle Moneybags is supplying the cash, but he’s a racing novice. And while you might be a superfan, you don’t know the first thing about how to build an Indy 500 program.

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You need someone who knows where to rent garage space to work on the car ahead of May and where your entry fee goes. You need someone who knows much firesuits cost and how to book testing time in a wind tunnel. You need someone who knows the rule book and who can tell you what the heck a shock dyno does.

You need a captain. You need your Mike Hull, your Tim Cindric, your Rob Edwards, someone who can both chart your path to victory lane and suss out the crew necessary to take you there.

"Step 1 has to be finding someone to run your program,” said 500 pole-sitter Ed Carpenter, who went through the process of building his own full-season program in 2012 before starting Ed Carpenter Racing.

Even someone as connected as Carpenter says finding a frontman who knows all of IndyCar’s nooks and crannies is critical. For Carpenter, that was former team owner and later IndyCar President of Operations and Competition, Derrick Walker.

"Anyone can go buy equipment, but what you then do with the equipment is really the difference between success and failure," Carpenter said. "So getting that person you can trust to be the architect of your program is the first step.”

The other big reason Team Moneybags needs its own captain is to legitimize the operation. Every year, there are new faces sniffing around the paddock, considering entering the 500 or joining the series. Then, suddenly, they disappear and you never hear from them again.

“Finding your (team manager) gives you some level of credibility instead of a being an unknown,” said Vince Kremer, IndyCar’s former Vice President of Operations, the former team manager of HVM Racing and now Harding Racing’s VP of Operations.

When Team Moneybags goes to IndyCar to express serious interest in competing in the 500, the series will start making calls.

They call Dallara to see if you inquired about a chassis. They call Firestone to see if you’ve made a down payment on your tire contract. They call Honda or Chevy to check on whether you’ve leased an engine. They’ll even call that driver you're keen on to see if you’ve struck a deal.

And someone at Team Moneybags better have done all of those things, because if not, no one will take Team Moneybags seriously. You’ll get put on the backburner, unable to cobble together all the moving parts in time to make the show.

Stalwarts such as Hull and Cindric are busy in May, but there are options. Maybe you’re such an avid racing fan that you know of someone who’s available. But if you don’t, that’s OK, thanks to your rich uncle's deep pockets.

"You reach out to IndyCar, and say, 'Here's what I'm looking to try and do,' which we've somewhat seen recently with the Juncos and Carlin situations," Carpenter said. "I'd reach out to IndyCar and say, 'Who's still around that's capable of doing this?' Like a Derrick (Walker). He'd be a real good resource. IndyCar wants to bring in new people, help them be successful and give them a good experience. So they'll be helpful."

After a few conversations with IndyCar personnel, you set your sights on someone we'll call Team Manager Marvin Gardens. He's well-connected and has been part of more than a few 500-winning teams. You're lucky he's available.

His insider knowledge and vast Rolodex won't come cheap, though. He'll command something in the neighborhood of $75,000 (about $15,000 a month with preliminary work beginning January). If Uncle Moneybags hesitates, console him by saying this is perhaps the most important investment he's going to make.

Without someone to run the show, there is no show. Write the check.

Money spent in Step 2: $75,000. Total spent so far: $75,000.

Step 3. The Face of Moneybags

It's the good Moneybags name on the livery of the car, but the person behind the wheel is the face of the team. Securing a driver who is both likeable and accomplished will go a long way toward helping you get through Steps 4-6.

Everyone you’re about to go into business with wants to know whom you’re putting inside the cockpit. Everyone. IndyCar, engine manufacturers and all of IndyCar's partners are more likely to want to work with you if you find such a driver. Crew members are more likely to want to join your team if they believe the pilot is a contender.

Note III: Sometimes the driver won’t sign on until he/she knows you’ve landed a good crew and are working with the engine manufacturer he/she prefers, so there’s some chicken and egg here.

Unfortunately, the majority of skilled drivers with nerve enough to win the biggest race in North America are already signed with full-time teams. But there’s still talent out there for Team Moneybags to target.

Generally there are three classes of available drivers: the young hot shot, the savvy veteran and the daredevil from a different series.

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Landing a driver from another series would likely bring Team Moneybags the most press and prestige, but a driver from that subset is often the most difficult to book.

Consider NASCAR’s recent history. There are few stock car drivers willing to throw themselves into one of the most dangerous open-wheel races in the world, and even fewer are employed by willing team owners. Last year, Kyle Busch was poised to follow in his brother’s footsteps and run the 500 before his team owner ended that effort.

Formula One usually doesn’t send its stars to the States these days, either. Nigel Mansell came to IndyCar after his F1 career was over, and Fernando Alonso found himself in Indy last May because his McLaren cars weren't competitive.

Additionally, those types of drivers almost always find established teams to work with since that translates to the best chance at success. If you think Danica Patrick would have returned to Indy this year with a fledgling program, you're crazy.

So that pretty much eliminates the daredevil from a different series.

Generally speaking, said Carpenter, for Indy you prefer a savvy veteran over a young hot shot.

"Indy is such a unique race," Carpenter said. "Being a 500-mile race, there's so many ways it can go wrong. And beyond the race, it's a long and stressful month, so thinking of it from the perspective of it being all new, it'd be highly helpful to have a driver who's been through it and knows the way it should go.

"A guy who's doing this for the first time doesn't know how a good car feels or what a bad car feels like. They don't know how to pace themselves physically and mentally through the month, where a veteran will be able to provide leadership for the team."

At the highest end of the savvy veteran spectrum is a former 500 winner like Juan Pablo Montoya. Actually, not like. Montoya occupies a class by himself. Multiple sources within the IndyCar paddock told IndyStar that he’s the top driver not already in the show. For that reason, he won’t come cheap. Some guessed around $500,000. If on the open market — and not already running a month of May “two-off” for Team Penske — Helio Castroneves would likely command a similar salary.

Most veterans, though, won’t cost nearly that much. Many can be had for a commitment of $25,000-$50,000 or less, such as a percentage of the purse. On the lower end of the spectrum, some have to bring money. That’s often the case with the young hot shot division as well as some within the savvy veteran division.

Conor Daly revealed recently that'd he'd have to finish in the top five to profit from running the 500. Many do it for the prestige and for the chance to win a race that can change their lives forever.

However, Uncle Moneybags is sparing no expense in his quest to make your dream come true.

“We want the best,” he says. “If Montoya’s the best, then let’s go get him.”

Time to whip out the old checkbook again.

Money spent in Step 3: $500,000. Total spent so far: $575,000.

Step 4. The Big Four

After hitching your ride to Montoya, Team Manager Marvin Gardens explains the next step is tackling the four major hurdles Team Moneybags must clear before it obtains its IndyCar entrant's license: securing a car, an engine, tires for the month and a place to work.

A reminder: This is serious business. In fact, it's in IndyCar's rule book that before an application is approved, the "entrant's competitive and business viability will be assessed to determine whether to approve and issue the license."

The factors it specifically mentions are (a) a purchase or lease agreement with an engine manufacturer; (b) a purchase and/or lease agreement for a shop; and (c) employment of key personnel, including team manager, chief mechanic and driver.

So let's start with an engine. You have two decisions: Honda or Chevrolet — IndyCar's current OEM partners — and short-month lease or full-month lease?

There's no doubt Honda showed superior speed last year at Indy and emerged with the win, but Marvin Gardens says that owner Trevor Carlin wanted Chevrolet for one reason: Roger Penske. Not only is Penske the class of the series, but he demands excellence from his team and his partners. If Chevrolet was at a disadvantage last May, Carlin says, you better believe he'll do everything in his power to the turn the tables.

"If it's good enough for Roger Penske," Uncle Moneybags says, "it's good enough for me."

Chevrolet it is. Once that's decided, Marvin Gardens starts making calls.

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After some initial inquiries, Marvin Gardens reports to you that Chevrolet bigwigs are impressed you've managed to hook a big fish like Montoya and are eager to join your program. Remember, it's their brand on the line, and they've only budgeted for a certain number of engines. They not only want someone who will represent them well but someone who can win.

This year, Honda produced 19 engines for the 500, Chevrolet 16. Honda is about maxed out, while Chevrolet officials said it could have likely produced one more if needed.

In May, there are full-month programs — entrants get two engines, the second arriving for use on Carb Day and the race — and what's called a short program. The latter has pre-race mileage limits and teams must use the same engine for qualifying and the race.

A one-engine program comes in at $125,000. For the full month, call it $225,000.

"We've already spent big at team manager and driver," Uncle Moneybags says. "Why stop now? Let's do this right."

Full-month lease it is.

A somewhat similar process will unfold with Firestone, which will provide a maximum of 33 sets of the tires for the month. While Firestone doesn't officially reveal costs, teams say their bill is about $91,000 in May.

There are a couple of options for the car. A used chassis — perhaps from a former team — will cost about $300,000, while a new Dallara DW12 chassis comes in at $350,000.

Uncle Moneybags has sprung for the best to this point, and he's not going to stop now. He writes a check and Marvin Gardens throws down a down payment on a tub.

Note IV: Significant damage to the chassis during testing, practice or qualifying and your month of May is either over or about to get a lot more expensive.

That leaves a workshop.

Fortunately, you don't need to buy a shop in Speedway like the folks at Harding did. You only need to rent some garage space, and this is Indianapolis, the racing capital of the world. There are not only IndyCar teams in Indy, but USAC, NHRA and others. Garage space is not hard to find.

Again, this is where Marvin Gardens' motor sports contacts will be helpful. He knows someone who has garage space to rent for $4,000 a month. Assume you'll want to have the car built in time for the scheduled IndyCar oval test at the end of April, giving you two months, and bringing your total to $8,000.

You've knocked out the Big 4 and proved your viability to IndyCar. Your official IndyCar Entrant's License comes with a $2,325 fee that includes 25 team credentials, among other things. There's also a $21,000 entry fee for the Indianapolis 500, which includes access to IndyCar's unified network, your garage space for the month, fuel services, parking, race modes, timing & scoring, etc.

Note V: We've tackled the Big 4 one at a time but Kremer said it usually falls into place at the same time. "All these pieces, they're all relying on you to tie them together. Honda or Chevrolet give you an engine if you get a great driver. And the driver wants to make sure you have the engine he wants. You're constantly trying to fit all of these pieces of the puzzle together, then all of a sudden, it snaps into place."

Money spent in Step 4: $697,325. Total spent so far: $1,272,325.

Step 5: The Outfit

"The biggest challenge you face when you're trying to run an extra car, is not the cars. It's not, 'Do you have enough equipment?' ... It's not, 'Do we have enough money,' because of the engine lease, the tires and all of that stuff. ...The biggest hurdle to overcome? It's people. You can’t get people who want to do it." — Brian Barnhart, President of Harding Racing and former IndyCar President of Race Operations and Race Director.

To be part of an IndyCar crew requires specialized skills. Not many people are schooled in the art of IndyCar racing and even fewer are available to work the hours needed.

How many people do you think can take off one to two months from their year-round jobs? How many people do you think want to use their vacation time to work 12-14 hour days in May?

When the top teams in IndyCar expand their fleets to run extra cars at the 500, they almost always pull crew from their other racing ventures. Andretti Autosport can bring up engineers and mechanics from its Indy Lights program. Penske and Rahal can bring them over from their sports car programs.

But teams that don't run in other series are forced to look elsewhere. Among the top places to pluck high-quality crew members is the Mazda Road to Indy.

"These people are so in demand, it drives up the cost," Kremer said. "ver-the-wall crew can be probably be the biggest challenge. There aren't that many guys and and gals capable of doing pit stops, fueling cars and changing tires. This race has probably the most pit stops of any race we'll run, so you have to have people who know what they're doing."

Note VI: The challenge of finding a crew is yet another reason that when starting a one-off 500 program, it is much easier to pair with an existing team that can either support you or knows where to find support.

From the crew's perspective, too, this is challenging terrain. Not only do they want to align with someone who can win, they also want someone who will pay what they promise.

So for the millionth time, this is why it's critical to have someone like Marvin Gardens leading the way. When he calls an engineer or mechanic about an opportunity, they'll know he's not yanking their chain. And if he says Uncle Moneybags is a man of his word, they're likely to believe him.

But it's as Kremer said, these people are hard to find and in high demand in May. So it's going to cost some money to get the cream of the crop.

And by the way, you're going to need many of these people for more than just May.

"When you buy your car, they’re going to deliver it in March probably," Barnhart said. "Well, you don't just get the car and stick a key in it and it’s good to go. You need people to prep the car and test it. ... There’ll be a lot of guys working more than 20 days in May."

Technical director (8 weeks): $50,000

Lead engineer (8 weeks): $40,000-$50,000

Assistant engineer (8 weeks): $20,000-$25,000

2 front-end mechanics (8 weeks): $24,000

2 rear-end mechanics: (8 weeks): $24,000

Crew chief: (8 weeks): $14,000

Gearbox mechanic: (8 weeks): $12,000

Fabricator (8 weeks): $12,000

Sub-assembly mechanic (8 weeks): $12,000

Shock specialist (8 weeks): $10,000

2 spotters ($400 per day per spotter, nine days); $7,200

Data acquisition engineer (4 weeks): $5,000

PR person: $5,000

(For totaling, we used the high-end approximations).

Money spent in Step 5: $250,200. Total spent so far: $1,522,525.

Step 6. Car components — and everything else

There’s a popular adage around IndyCar: Do you know how to make a small fortune in racing? Start with a big one.

It's a good thing Uncle Moneybags loves you so much, because he's already dropped $1.5 million on your dream and is about to spend more.

You can rent, lease or borrow car parts and equipment, but unless they're purchased new, you're taking a risk. Almost every component on an Indy car has an expiration date, and if you don't know the history of the parts you're acquiring, accidents can happen. They're rare, but they happen.

A recent crash at IMS (not this year), Barnhart said, occurred because, "the part that failed was a part the team didn't know the history of. They didn't know how many miles were on it or what the life of it was. And every component on that car gets lifed out. When it's got X number of miles on it, it shouldn't be used anymore because of stress fatigue. When you've got something on there that you don't know — and I'm not pointing fingers at that group — but that's an example of the risk you take when you don't know the history. You don't know if it was involved in a crash. You don't know the last time in was (properly serviced or inspected)."

You're always better off buying equipment new, if feasible. Sometimes it's not feasible or it does makes sense to rent or lease from another team. The following is a budget that includes much of the equipment required to field a competitive team at Indy.

Crash damage budget: $200,000

Turbos, waste-gates, brakes, clutches: $150,000

Data logging system (with dash): $120,000

Shock dyno: $90,000 (used)

Spare front and rear wings: $80,000

Gears: $44,000

Paddleshifts: $40,000

8 sets of wheels: $40,000

2 redhead fuel probes: $40,000

2 speedway kits: $30,000

6 wheel guns and hoses to change tires: $30,000

15 Radios: $22,500

Setup table: $22,000-$25,000

Fuel tank: $20,000 (new)

Setup gauges and equipment: $12,000-$15,000

12 fire suits (5 over-the-wall crew, 7 more for others, including driver): $12,000

Set of oil radiators: $11,000

Attenuators: $10,000

4-5 laptops:$6,000-$7,500

Spare radiator: $6,7000

10 Helmets (with ear pieces), shoes, gloves and Nomex underwear: $6,500

6 Sockets for wheel guns: $6,000

Paint for car: $5,000-$6,000

Springs: $5,000-$6,000

15 radio headsets: $4,500

3 golf cart rental from IMS: $3,300

Electronics package: $3,000 (wirelooms, timing transponder, IndyCar-supplied electronics)

Fuel: $2,500

Nitrogen: $2,500

Scoring stand (rent): $2,000

Garage supplies (tables, chairs, signage): $2,000

Air jacks: $2,000

Tugger: $1,500 (rent)

Misc.

Suite at IMS: $70,000 (you want the rest of the Moneybags clan to see your big day, right?)

Uniforms for crew (they need at least 3 each): $12,500-$13,000

Food (catered): $10,000

Dry cleaning (8 weeks): $3,000.

Note VII: Among some of the things missing from this list are hotel and airfare for any crew that was hired from out of state. You also might need to consider insurance costs and workman's compensation, though many of your employees can be hired as independent contractors.

"It's spare uprights, wishbones, blocks and bolts," Kremer added. "It's staggering when you get down to it. You could spend $30,000 in hardware alone. And that doesn't even include glue and wax and towels and things like that. You need a NAPA store in your garage."

Don't forget about testing!

Montoya is a wonderfully talented driver, but he's probably going to want some time in a simulator, and he's definitely going to want to be on track. You also need to put the car itself through a battery of tests before letting Montoya sit in it, and those tests aren't cheap.

On-track test at IMS: $60,00-$65,000

Two days on simulator: $20,000

Rolling wind tunnel: $35,000 (one 24-hour period)

Seven-post rig: $5,000

Low-speed wind tunnel: $4,000

Money spent in Step 6: $1,241,800. Total spent so far: $2,764,325.

Note VIII: Remember that joining an already established team is easily the preferred method for a one-off program. Their infrastructures save new teams considerable time and money. Probably more than 50 percent of the costs listed in this story can be lopped off. Additionally, depending on how much money is brought in, the team might share some data and information, which can be invaluable for a program trying to solve the riddle of the oval in less than a month.

Step 7. Have fun

You put in a lot of time and a lot (a lot) of money to get here. The stress of the month is going to make you want to scream, and it will definitely cost Uncle Moneybags those precious few hairs left on his balding head.

But try to remember: The Indianapolis 500 is the greatest auto race in the world. At no other single-day event do 300,000 people jam-pack into one venue to watch a race that began more than a century ago.

Come Memorial Day weekend you'll be part of 500 history. Win or lose, you will join a small class of people who have taken part in the "Greatest Spectacle in Racing." The unlikely story of Team Moneybags will be passed down from generation to generation.

Try to remember all of that as the Team Moneybags' car comes ripping down the front straightaway into Turn 1. Soak in the crowd noise and the majesty of the moment. You've made it. You're here at the greatest show in the world.

Enjoy the race.

Note IX: By the way, since you have all that equipment, you really should think about coming back next year. Just a thought.

Follow IndyStar Motor Sports Insider Jim Ayello on Twitter and Facebook: @jimayello.