I don’t miss you

And you don’t miss me

You can’t really miss who you never knew

You can’t not be there

For literal decades of my life

Constantly put me down

Like I was a thorn in your side

And be surprised

When I leave you behind

Don’t try to be a fucking martyr

Like I am somehow solely at fault

For the slow decay of our relationship

You threw me in the shadow of my siblings

Showing off their accomplishments

Without even seeing what I had done

Do you know how hard it is

To live up to the praises of a brother who’s passed

Without ever even being taught how to cope with his death?

Did you know I was falling apart?

Crying out for help?

Literally bleeding to dull the pain?

Of course you didn’t…

You didn’t know what you were doing

Not because of incompetence

Or lack of experience

But because you didn’t see me

I was just another

Mouth to feed

Body to clothe

Member in your house

…Annoyance

You had your chance to miss me

You had your chance to care

And you didn’t take it

And I think we both need

to just move on