CHICAGO – With early season game attendance at painfully low levels, the Chicago White Sox front office and marketing teams have tossed around numerous promotion ideas to draw baseball fans to the South Side this summer. The latest to get called to the big leagues?

“To lighten the mood we’ve decided to spice things up with Soxcore Porn Night™,” said White Sox Head of Marketing, Mary Hedsteine. “To be honest, Guaranteed Rate Field is pretty damn depressing. A mix of softcore porn and White Sox baseball seems like a surefire hit with people who want to enjoy baseball while doing what they do while Sox games are on the TV in the background anyway.

“We have seen subpar attendance in the past, and that’s understandable considering the kind of baseball we’ve been playing the last five seasons,” Hedsteine said. “If I wasn’t getting paid by the club, I wouldn’t want to show up here either.”

Hedsteine went on about give-a-ways, park activities, and after-game festivities for Soxcore Porn Night™.

“We’ll be giving out small Chicago White Sox-branded bottles of lotion and tissues to the first 10,000 fans in attendance,” Hedsteine described. “During the game there will be a variety of White Sox-themed porn playing on video board for fans to take in.”

Hedsteine mentioned some examples of “Soxcore porn” that focuses on men and women sporting various pairs of socks covering their genitals, as well as baseball-themed porn parodies, including All Natural (based off 1984’s The Natural), Field of Creams, starring Kevin Cockster (Field of Dreams), and The Sandcock, which even features some of the original cast of The Sandlot.

“After the game, fans are invited to stay and watch as we survey the field with a black light to see all the fun that was had,” Hedsteine revealed.

Models wearing “nothing, but white socks” will be parading on both dugouts throughout the game to engage fans and collect dollar bills that the ball clubs plans to use to pay their rent at Guaranteed Rate Field.

Soxcore Porn Night™ will take place on June 11 as the White Sox take on the Cleveland Indians. Tickets start at $6 and the gates open at 6:05 p.m. CT.

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