ghostmartyr answered:

©he seeks to mislead people indicates some kind of fundamental unwellness. Sure it may be his choice of career that forces him, but the very fact that he chose that kind of career (above very concrete opportunities otherwise, as we saw with Marie) has always rubbed me the wrong way. Do you think the death of Erwin’s father is a factor in his obsessions with finding the truth beyond the walls? Since Erwin seems to be so lax on personal revenge against the monarchy, as shown in the Uprising© ©and it’s not like retribution will bring his father back anyway. “there wasn’t a single shred of meaning in Father’s death, but human greed and a foolish son.” Given that his dad was not only silenced, but was implied to go out in one of the worst ways possible: tortured to death, by skinning alive, because of Erwin’s betrayal; is it possible that Erwin choose to spend his entire life focusing on his old man’s theory instead, as a way to make up/give meaning to father’s horrendous demise?

To the last point, it’s unlikely that his father’s death didn’t play a part in everything. The link between the outside world, hidden knowledge, and his dead father is a strong one, and has been since the story decided to throw Erwin’s motivations into the spotlight.

Similarly, the guilt component as fuel for greater things is fundamental to Erwin’s character. We see it most plainly in how he regards the lives of his fallen comrades; that’s why he starts keeping his mouth shut about his burning curiosity. He doesn’t want to dishonor them with his lesser goals.

As for the first part… I won’t claim to have done a good job organizing all of my thoughts on Erwin. For all I know I haven’t been as clear on this topic as I should have been.

But to me, the idea that Erwin’s life as the Commander is a lie is something that he, personally, believes, and he is wrong.

The facade and reasons behind it are interesting, but it is infinitely more important that when Erwin is reminded his selfishness, he retreats so far into that selfishness that he denies the best parts of himself.

For his own reasons, he fights for humanity. He champions them, designs plans to further their aims, and manufactures entire communication systems around keeping his soldiers alive.

Erwin is damn good at what he does–he just falsely believes that because his motives have darker roots than his comrades, everything he’s done is irrelevant.

My view on his increase in personal goals is that his guilt for being less than what he should be turns into him overplaying his baser qualities. Instead of being a good man and leader who has a weakness to overcome, he tries to frame himself as a bad leader, freeing him up to indulge in the absolute worst of his selfishness.

And in the end, when Levi orders him to go back to being their Commander, he can do it with a smile, because no matter what else, that’s the person he longs to be.

And I have no idea if he dies knowing it, but that’s also the person he is. He’s just more flawed than he’s able to acknowledge–until the last weeks of his life.

Thanks for the ask.

