Folks,

We here at 4thdownsports have a confession. Some of us absolutely suck at football video games. Competitive Madden online? No chance. NFL Blitz on the couch against our friends who don’t know that punt is not a good option on 2nd and 1? More of our speed.



Except.. well there is a man we have here that we know as Danny Northshore. Danny Northshore is the fucking king of sports games. Most video games, in fact, are conquered by Danny.

For example:

Once playing Mario Kart 64, he was in dead last on the final lap. Suddenly, a series of events occurred which caused all the others to fall apart. Tension struck the room, and Danny muttered 5 words that will always be remembered as our dying words “the game has corrected itself.” It was the perfect description of how Danny lives. As if it is always going to go his way. And if it doesn’t, the world is under his control and he will force it to adapt.

Such is madden, where Danny reigns supreme. He has competed against many friends and online players, beating opponents ranked nationally as well as all takers throughout High School, College, and in his professional life as a Golf instructor/ connoisseur of women (or so he claims).

Madden 05: “The Lonestar”:

During a high school baseball tournament, where Danny took the Northshore on a national tour of madden destruction from the brisk springtime air of Ohio to the humid beaches of Myrtle, in the Carolina of North. Northshore’s tour de force was equivalent to the Madden bus tearing through the US, as he invented a defense in Madden 2005 he termed “lonestar”. Danny formulated a pass rush/coverage scheme that was unstoppable. He was shifting linemen and taking a speedy linebacker over the middle in which he would either rush the passer, or pick off or deflect any oncoming pass. Many tried to stop him, none succeeded.





Madden 06: “The QB Cone”:

I joined the Madden bandwagon in 2006 after his beloved NFL 2k5 was bought out by Madden. Madden 2006 debuted, Donovan McNabb on the cover and a new passing system dubbed the “QB Vision Cone”. The vision cone was controlled by the right joystick, and made your QB remarkably more accurate if your intended receiver was within the cone. I was pretty good at NFL2k and figured this would translate into Madden, I also was very familiar with Madden since I played Madden 95 until I could put up over 100 points in Rod Woodson kick returns. This did not translate as well as I believed, and Danny Northshore wreaked havoc upon myself as well as Pat, and a large group of friends. One was lucky to put up any points let alone get a cheap victory.



“The Broken thumb” game:

One night, at a party at our host Pat’s house, we had a projector ready for a big NBA playoff game in the garage. After some pre-gaming and drinking, Northshore decided to host an open Madden challenge. I took the chance due to one factor: Danny’s broken right thumb.

You see, Danny broke his thumb playing football the week earlier and was in a brace. This was supposed to not end well for him. Unable to use a thumb to hit the player action buttons and truck stick should stop a player in his tracks, but not Danny Northshore. He drubbed me and my precious Pittsburgh Steelers with a beatdown that would lower my Madden morale beyond belief.



The Summer of defeat:

The summer of 2008 marked a new era for Madden. We finally saw some awesome graphics via the new Xbox 360 console. New graphics, new gameplay, new commentary, same old results. The entire summer, I would head to Danny’s to play Madden on the off days from a college summertime job.

Danny was more hooked on Madden then ever, thanks, in part, to a show on ESPN 2 where players would tour on a Madden bus worldwide. Dan had high aspirations, and learned a few new catchphrases from the show’s mostly ghetto white participants. Danny’s favorite? “Dont tryyyyyy meeeeee”. In one particular episode, a player was taunting another by screaming this phrase to his face. It results in punches being thrown and a DQ for the round. I do not doubt this was Danny’s objective when screaming this phrase.



Throughout the summer, Danny and his new catchphrase dominated in Madden on the Xbox 360. My faith and confidence in my video game skills diminished as well as hopes of keeping up.



“Broken controllers and dreams”:

With the Xbox 360 came better broadband networks, a really good Xbox Live experience, and the boom of online play. Danny took advantage, playing and beating numerous peers and online ranked players. Many times, players would grow frustrated with a newly found glitch called the “Nano Blitz”. Danny would like up linemen tight on the Center, pinch the linebackers, and would send an all out blitz. The results were infuriating. Instant sacks. Handoffs being taken by defensive linemen instead of the running back. Chaos.



Players became furious with Danny. He can recall friends slamming headsets, punching doors, putting holes in the wall, and throwing controllers. The controller spike was a normal reaction to playing him.One of which I was very familiar with.

But one particular opponent took his frustrations to the next level constantly…

A college friend of Northshore’s would compete online with Danny nightly in online “friendlies” as well as a league. Nano blitzes and an unstoppable offense would leave him infuriated. The results: Controllers spiked through a shattered glass table, holes punched into a wall, a very angry girlfriend after hearing the constant screaming, and the coup-de-grace: a controller spiked into the ground ruining a brand new LED TV.



“The Madden Bowl”:

Eventually, a larger group of friends formed, and super bowl hangouts became more prevalent into adulthood. The one childhood nostalgia we wanted to keep up with: Madden tournaments. What could be more fitting to start off a super bowl with than to play some Madden in a tournament for some money? Good times…right…? Danny Northshore won every Madden bowl we ever held.



Until, Feb 2, 2013. Super Bowl 47.





Danny Northshore ripped through his opponents while I did the same on the way to the Final Battle. Title on the line, a preview of the game was to be played between my chosen 49ers and his Ravens. Bets were on the line, I had been prepping in secret by playing Madden like a fiend. My training was complete, I was ready to take down the champ.





The game goes by as expected, Dan is up by 7, then 14-0. Then suddenly, it happened. A fumble. Move downfield and score, 14-7. Then another turnover for a score, 14-14. Halftime comes. Danny to receive a kickoff and hope still in the air. Onside kick! Recovered by me! I have a chance! I go up, then Dan mounts a comeback. Down 21-14 he evens it up and the goes ahead 28-21.

1 minute left. Driving down the field with my 9ers I throw a Play Action route to TE Vernon Davis for a HUGE gain. No huddle, run the same play, HUGE gain again! Third time, seconds left on the clock, Davis in the corner and it looks like we’re going into overtime!





But then, I make a decision. I knew going into OT I wasn’t going to make it out alive. ..The tension mounted as I picked a sure-fire play. FB fake HB Toss on the goaline for the win of Madden Bowl 2013. Fake goes to Frank Gore, Kaepenick with the toss… NANO BLITZ SACK! “



"Are you fucking kidding me!?” I shrieked as I spiked my controller into the wall. It was over. Danny was victorious yet again.





Since that Madden bowl, we have given up on the thought of competing with him. We have tried other bowls, Tecmo Bowl, Blitz Bowl, other games where you can rely more on luck than skill.

Still, the game always finds a way to correct itself, and Danny is victorious year after year. Many of us have given up on modern gaming, probably for the lack of ability to keep up with the times, but one legend still has the magic in his eye. Blitz Bowl may be fun, but nothing is ever the same as the Madden Bowl.

