It’s the last 12 hours in a small suburban town I call home and it still doesn’t hit me that I’m leaving it. After long anxious months of waiting for this time to come, I don’t realize the impact of how far I am going from what is familiar. Seeing faces that you grow accustom to and knowing that you will soon enough won’t see them till the winter months sounds all but nerve wracking to me at the moment.

I guess I just adapted to situations like these, where it comes to the point of numbness that you get too wound up and lost in the moment.

That’s it.

I don’t really feel anything at all actually. My stomach doesn’t drop nor a pulse of anxiousness runs through my body.

As weird as that may sound, I liked the idea of where I was going. Finally, a place where I can get lost and be free. With nothing to worry about, the possibilities look endless and all I see in front of me is pure freedom.

From jumping off cliffs, diving, surfing, and all things daring; who would’ve thought that I would be spending my 4 years of college on an island?

With that all in mind, I take a step back and slowly begin to feel my heart pound… It is this very moment that I think to myself for the first time, that there is no turning back. I’m not going to see the people who have been beside me and pushed me to what I’ve grown up to be.

They won’t be there to jump off with me, delve into new experiences, ride through the roughest waves nor dare me to be at my best. Instead, I’ll be on my own for these next 4 years. I’ll be making my own way through this new life without what I’m comfortable with.

As usual, my basement is filled up with people of good sprits, who are more than likely are always up for a time well spent. Being the first one to leave, and the farthest, I feel obligated to share proper farewells during my last night. So I shoot out a final text inviting people over to share one more laugh, hug, handshake, and memory.

Collection of memories and time spent together are what we all took away from our high school experiences, as a group of friends heading in different directions.

Recognizing smiles as they gather around to common ground one last time felt great. Leaving and going on to foreign grounds is something that will take time but through adaptive instinct, I feel as if there won’t be much to worry about. Yes, I miss home terribly but this college experience that I am about to endure is something I wanted.

Being in the middle of the Pacific Ocean is what I feel is the best for me. As I strapped on the safety belt on and watched the east coast slowly disappear underneath clouds, I know I made the right decision by taking on the challenge of a great distance.

I made my way and this is just the beginning of a new adventure.

-Gabe Estevez