No. Come on. Seriously? No.

This is stupid. I’m not writing this fucking article. I’m not going to sit here and explain how another alt-center establishment neocon is not the answer to the massive, institutionalized problems of America in general or of the Democratic party in particular. No.

I say this in all sincerity, and in the best exasperated John Oliver impression I can muster: Are you fucking kidding me???

We don’t have time for this bullshit. I don’t have time for this bullshit. I’m not going to write a big, long screed about how Americans are sick of the same fake two-headed one-party system that chokes Americans to death with neoliberal domestic policies and destroys entire nations with neoconservative foreign policies. Know why? Because someone else already made that argument a lot better than I ever could, and her name is 2016.

In the extremely unlikely event that America’s oligarchs ever check out indie political punditry, let me provide y’all with some helpful cost-saving information: Kamala Harris will not be president. 2016 settled this beyond dispute. I don’t care if CNN catches Donald Trump on camera giving Vladimir Putin a Thai massage with a happy ending — Kamala Harris will not be president. People’s increasing discontent combined with their rising internet literacy and widespread access to alternative media will kill that possibility. The US establishment has pushed people to the brink, and, since this is only going to get worse, they will do whatever they have to in order to create another possibility for themselves.

We don’t have time for this bullshit. The US political establishment is pushing as hard as it possibly can toward escalated Cold War tensions with Russia, which are dangerously complicated by hot proxy wars in both Syria and Ukraine, and which are being inflamed by NATO expansionism along Russia’s border. This could all blow up any minute, and America’s unelected power establishment is actively fighting any attempts to de-escalate. Powerful deep state propaganda outlets like the Washington Post, whose sole owner is a CIA contractor, are smearing Trump’s move to stop the CIA from funding terrorists in Syria as a treasonous capitulation to Moscow, while Netanyahu is pressuring the administration to abandon the partial ceasefire it negotiated with Russia in southern Syria. If this does not chill your bones, it should.

We’re being shoved hard in the direction of a world war with a nuclear superpower and its allies with the full thrust of the planet’s most powerful elites. A deeply disturbing amount of information indicates that the climate catastrophe we’re hurtling toward could be far worse and far more imminent than even the most pessimistic climate scientists had thought. We’ve got no time to debate about Kamala fucking Harris. Forget it. Not acceptable. Move on.

We don’t have time for this bullshit. People are desperate, and they’re scared. Something’s going to have to give, and give soon. It’s fucking 2017 and they’re already priming us for the Inevitability of Kamala. They already want progressives debating how many concessions toward social progress they can beg for from the new Anointed Queen, when in the real world people have all got an itchy, peripheral feeling that the end of the world may be near. We need massive, sweeping changes, not some Clintonite who’d look cute dancing on Ellen.

Our species has reached evolve-or-die time, and this is the last time I’ll be writing about Kamala fucking Harris. We are not doing this. No.

— — —

I’m a 100 percent reader-funded journalist so if you enjoyed this, please consider helping me out by sharing it around, liking me on Facebook, following me on Twitter, or throwing some money into my hat on Patreon.