So like any good CoDBLOPS FPS #360NOSCOPE Call of Duty player, I need to be at peak performance when shooting people online and shouting racial and LGBT slurs at them for their poor performance. Knowing I need to be at peak Killstreak potential, I was very excited to learn there was a new Call of Duty being released in energy drink form. Drinking my Call of Duty? PWNing newbs while getting refreshed? How could I say no to the brilliance of Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare: Monster: Assault Energy.

First up, the graphics are unbelievable, best I’ve ever seen. Ever played a video game in 4K or with Occulus Rift? Nothing compared to this. This new Call of Duty drink is so realistic I no joke feel like I’m reaching out to grab it. The immersion in the drink is insane, I drink it and my mouth really feels like it’s getting a cola flavored blast of high octane shooter in my face hole. Unfortunately the setting is depressingly mundane, with Exosuits replaced by a comfy hoodie and tracksuit bottoms, but you can’t deny the realism.

So, let’s get onto the campaign. The single player campaign of this new Call of Duty beverage is of a high quality, but as with most Call of Duty experiences it’s sadly shorter than I would like. You can rush through the single player campaign in as little as a few short minutes, with players who really stretch out and savour the experience at most finding around half an hour of content. You can play two player co-op in the campaign if you get the straws DLC, but doing so will cut the amount of content each player experiences by half which is a disappointment for this already short campaign.

On the positives, the single player campaign did leave me feeling refreshed, energised and gave me a noticeably raised heart-rate.

The biggest issue, where the hell is the competitive online multiplayer? That’s the biggest draw the Call of Duty series has and it’s missing. I tried going outside with it and attempting to matchmake with other players, but after an hour sat on a bench I had still not found another player to compete in multiplayer with. Online multiplayer is non existent and local multiplayer has busted matchmaking. What is this, a drink based on Battlefield 4?

Lastly, there is zero Kevin Spacey in this new Advanced Warfare edition. What’s up with that? I bought this on the understanding that Advanced Warfare featured Kevin Spacey. All this drink has is a picture of some unknown soldier who is not Kevin Spacey, I don’t think.

In conclusion, Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare: Monster: Assault Energy will be enjoyable for fans of the cola flavour FPS energy drink genre. The single player was solid but short lived, with multiplayer disappointing in all regards.

9/10 (Fantastic)

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