Punching A Guy In The Head For Refusing To Give You A Bite Of His Burrito Is Very Uncool

In today’s society, there’s a reasonable expectation to food rights. And by that I mean, when you buy yourself something tasty to eat, a member of the general public previously unknown to you has no right to expect a bite of your food. Which is why that it’s very bad form to punch a stranger in the head because he won’t share his burrito.

As any friend of mine can attest, it’s quite annoying when anyone — much less a total stranger — pipes up with “Can I just have a bite of that? Just one little bite” while you’re trying to eat.

That scenario was worse times a bajillion for one Seattle man, who cops say was sitting outside a restaurant one day enjoying his recently purchased burrito.

According to The Smoking Gun, another guy allegedly walked up and asked — nay, demanded — some of his food.

“Give me a bite of your burrito,” the 24-year-old suspect said, according to the police report.

To which the burrito-eater, unsurprisingly, said no. Because it was his burrito, granting him all burrito-eating rights under the law of Eating Food You Paid For, Darn It. And he added, “That is rude.” Preach!

At that, the suspect — outfitted in a gray beanie and white fur coat — allegedly punched the man in the forehead and fled on foot. Police caught up with him later as he was boarding a bus nearby, and arrested him for assault.

It’s unclear whether the burrito victim was able to enjoy the rest of his meal, but with only “very slight redness to the forehead,” he didn’t seek medical treatment.

You can follow MBQ on Twitter if you promise not to ask for any bites of future burritos: @marybethquirk

Diner Attacked After Refusing Seattle Man’s Demand For A Bite Of His Burrito [The Smoking Gun]