Free beer is easily in the top 10 of my all-time favourite things, so I was cautiously optimistic when invited to a recent tasting event at the WISE Hall showcasing gluten-free craft beer.

I say “cautiously” because, if anything is in dire need of a good PR consultant, it’s gluten, which in recent years has joined the likes of trans fats, nitrates, aspartame and MSG on a growing list of dietary boogeymen. Even George Zimmerman seems more popular lately than gluten, which apparently is some kind of protein bonding agent found in wheat, barley, rye and many other things that are delicious.

article continues below

While Celiac disease is a serious autoimmune problem where consuming gluten triggers immediate and ugly gastrointestinal reactions in people who suffer from it, the condition only affects around one in 100 people and is a very different thing from the so-called gluten intolerance or gluten sensitivity that is sweeping the nation.

To paraphrase a coworker’s girlfriend who has Celiacs: “Oh, you’re gluten sensitive? Does it make you barf and crap your pants at the same time too? No? I guess you’re not really all that sensitive to it then.”

Gluten: Hiding in plain sight.

Frankly, I suspect the current war on gluten is partly because the word sounds like “glute” and a lot of folks probably think it somehow makes their asses fat. If people decide they feel better after dropping it from their diets, there’s obviously nothing wrong with that but I was fully expecting gluten-free beer to be a distant imitation of the real thing. A bit like decaffeinated coffee, sugar-free ice cream, dry humping or vegan bacon.

I was able to get my hands on several samples that I’ve been working my way through for the past week. I’ve got to admit — some of them are pretty good. Although a couple reminded me somewhat of the amateur homebrews I’ve politely had to choke down at social events over the years, most were fantastic and would likely hold their own in blind taste tests with their gluten-positive counterparts.

The Mongozo Premium Pilsner was a particular standout, as was the Glutenberg Rousse, which won gold at the 2012 Word Beer Cup and also deserves bonus points for having an awesome name.

But while I’ll happily admit my bias was off the mark, I’m still going to draw the line at ever drinking dealcoholized gluten-free beer.

See more Skookum City posts