For environmental reasons I started following a plant-based diet in 2017. I found the transition surprisingly simple, the only stumbling block was cheese. So last year, I began making plant-based cheese at my home in Amsterdam. After several months of experimenting, I was sufficiently encouraged with the results to launch my vegan cheese business.

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My British grandparents were dairy farmers for more than 60 years, which is why I find the current them-against-us attitude among both vegans and non-vegans so unhelpful. My sister and I spent every school holiday on the dairy farm, and we treasure those memories dearly, although not the memories of my grandmother’s cooking. Anyone who has eaten cow’s tongue or tried her assortment of watery soups would understand why. Our mornings started at 6am sharp. If you didn’t make it out of bed in time, you missed breakfast. My grandparents taught us to love and care for all living beings. Their animals would live out long and comfortable lives in spacious Devon fields. Not every livestock farmer is evil, and not all farm animals are locked behind bars.

True, my diet now is in stark contrast with those early years, and my occupation seems at odds with my grandparents’. Like many of their peers, they began farming for noble reasons, to feed a nation recovering from the second world war. But my change in diet and decision to launch a plant-based cheese company have also been motivated by a food-related crisis.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest ‘Much of my cheese sales come at markets across Amsterdam.’ Photograph: Nicole Olwagen

Ignoring the facts about the negative impact of animal products on the environment puts life as we know it at risk for future generations. We all need to examine what we eat, where it comes from and the impact of our personal decisions. That doesn’t have to mean going vegan tomorrow: maybe it starts with adjusting one meal a week to be animal-free, or even keeping an open mind to the possibility of doing so.

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The tone of the debate around food, though, is an obstacle to progress. On one side, vegans vilify farmers; on the other, farmers offer blanket condemnation of plant-based products that are better for our health, as well as our planet.

Few topics offer a better example of the polarised nature of British society than the uproar surrounding the opening of La Fauxmagerie, the UK’s first plant-based cheesemonger. Industry lobby group Dairy UK, which represents dairy farmers, has written to the store, citing an EU ruling that states that “cheese”, “milk” and “butter” can only refer to products derived from dairy.

The us-versus-them mentality is helping no one. Relaxing the adoption of dairy food names for plant-based products would be a good place to begin cooling tempers. A big part of moving to a vegan diet is being able to view a plant-based burger as a burger, or plant-based milk as milk: it’s worth noting that the 2013 EU law does not apply to almond milk or coconut milk.

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Witnessing the dairy industry’s action against La Fauxmagerie was disheartening. Consumers are more conscious of what they eat than they’ve ever been. Distinguishing between a plant-based product and its dairy equivalent is easy for us. Time and energy would be much better spent trying these products first, before passing judgment. It’s a matter of sticking to the food tests we have used since the dawn of time: taste, nutrition, appearance and smell.

The tribalised nature of debate generally in the UK is a major reason why I live in the Netherlands. Most Dutch people are honest and frank, but they are nearly always open to new opinions and reasoning.

Much of my cheese sales are at markets in Amsterdam. There’s no hiding place there as you’re met with people from all ages and walks of life, yet the energy I receive back is genuinely inspiring, with the majority of passersby curious to try something new.

If we are to survive as a species, we have to make drastic changes to the way we eat. It won’t be an easy transition, but if we all keep an open mind and avoid passing judgment before trying new ideas, I believe we can find common ground.

• Brad Vanstone makes plant-based cheese in Amsterdam