Joe Biden was quick off the mark with his political ad mocking President Trump.

Hours after the Prez returned to America following the Nato summit in London, the contemptuous footage was being rolled out across the globe in a damage maximisation bid.

‘Look, the world is laughing at him, world leaders cannot trust him,’ the Democrats’ presidential hopeful crowed, showing footage of Boris Johnson, President Macron of France, Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte and Canada’s Justin Trudeau sniggering behind the Trump’s back at a Buckingham Palace reception.

Instead of laughing at Trump, Justin should be studying his economic record. For while America’s economy is booming, Trudeau has driven Canada’s into prairie dust. Look at them, tittering like fools. If women MPs or leaders behaved in such a manner they would be castigated for being unprofessional

Their remarks were caught on an open mic because they were all too thick to realise the presence of so many TV cameras tends to suggest that a number of microphones will be dotted around the room, too. Doh.

I watched it, then I watched again. Yes, the saga certainly said something about the kind of man Trump is, particularly his petulance over the whole incident later.

He cut his trip short and stormed off home in a tantrumpy huff, like some giant toddler who’d just had his lollipop nicked. However, don’t you think it said oh-so-much more about his smug tormentors?

Behold this sad sack quartet of losers and chancers, who found safety in numbers and warm fellowship in jeering at a confrere who wasn’t there to defend himself.

Hours after the Prez returned to America following the Nato summit in London, the contemptuous footage was being rolled out across the globe in a damage maximisation bid

Princess Anne didn’t do herself any favours either, hovering around at the edges of this group, snickering away with the best of them.

Perhaps she had forgotten that her calamity-prone younger brother Andrew was banned from the event because he is up to his sweat-free neck in a rolling boil of sleaze and scandal.

Boris was in the thick of it, of course. Chortle, chortle. Mr Johnson, with his priapic hinterland and chaotic private life has little call to laugh at anyone.

Even so, many of us live in hope that a solid majority and a good wind behind him will be the making of Boris — as a human being and a politician. I say hope. What I mean is fervently, desperately pray. But don’t hold your breath.

Meanwhile Emmanuel Macron’s two-year presidency has been disastrous, with a strike that will bring the country to its knees.

Their remarks were caught on an open mic because they were all too thick to realise the presence of so many TV cameras tends to suggest that a number of microphones will be dotted around the room, too. Doh

Worst of all is Trudeau, the idiotic superwoke Canadian PM who does yoga, had sympathy pains when his wife was in labour, wants to ban the word mankind because it is sexist and seemed to spend most of his youth wearing blackface for psychological reasons too awful to contemplate.

Instead of laughing at Trump, Justin should be studying his economic record. For while America’s economy is booming, Trudeau has driven Canada’s into prairie dust.

Look at them, tittering like fools. If women MPs or leaders behaved in such a manner they would be castigated for being unprofessional. They would never, ever be taken seriously in political circles again.

Angela Merkel and Theresa May perhaps have their faults but it is inconceivable either would behave in such an infantile way at such an important event, with so much at stake. And if they had, they could expect to receive ten times the condemnation and censure that these overgrown schoolboys received.

Indeed, many professional Trump haters admired their pathetic display of playground nastiness, as further proof of Trump being unfit for office. Well perhaps he is. The impeachment hearings will decide his future one way of the other.

In the meantime, whatever happened to statesmanship, to cometh the hour, cometh the man, to strength of character, rising to the occasion and doing one’s country proud? All that seems to have disappeared from public life a long time ago.

Instead, we are left with this shower of half-baked goons. The political class of today are just an endless, endless disappointment.

Perhaps she was responsible for the frisson when 007 meets his new female colleague, played by Lashana Lynch (above), who is sitting on his bed. ‘Are you a double-Oh?’ he asks her, and I don’t think he means her bra size

Did you see the new James Bond trailer? Oof. It was an explosion of boys’ toys — all guns and grenades and cars doing doughnuts while bullets poured out of the headlights.

Daniel Craig looked as handsome as ever, but there was little glimpse of Fleabag writer Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s brilliantine talents among the helicopters and head-butts.

She was drafted in to give the script a feminist spin, but it didn’t feature in the macho action scenes. Perhaps she was responsible for the frisson when 007 meets his new female colleague, played by Lashana Lynch (above), who is sitting on his bed.

‘Are you a double-Oh?’ he asks her, and I don’t think he means her bra size.

Later she sets out the terms of their working relationship. ‘Stay in your lane,’ she tells Bond.

‘If you get in my way, I will put a bullet in your knee.’

Now that sounds like pure Fleabag. Is Lashana going to be the next Bond? That’s how it looks from here.

The benefits of bingo wins

Feelgood story of the week? What about the mother of four struggling on Universal Credit who became an overnight millionaire?

Anita Campbell, 51, from Seaham in County Durham, was struggling to pay debts and had been living on benefits for over a year.

At times, she said, she was unable to feed herself properly. That was until she won £597,000 on online bingo — and then another £552,000 ten days later. Wow!

After her amazing double windfall, Anita was finally able to pay off the money she owed following her mother’s funeral last year.

The first win came only a week after she opened her account with a bingo website, having deposited £100. The lucky lady says the windfall has left her feeling as though she’s in a dream.

Same here. I don’t begrudge Anita a penny of her good fortune, but it does make me wonder how someone who is supposedly starving while on benefits can spend a hundred quid on a bingo account.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s Melania dressed as a superhero — behold the UKIPWoman caped crusader!

Melania’s the cape crusader

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s Melania dressed as a superhero — behold the UKIPWoman caped crusader!

For reasons known only to herself, Mrs Trump turned up in London in a bright yellow £4,600 Valentino coat, with purple sleeves and matching shoes (pictured).

I hate to be a conspiracy theorist, but was it a subliminal political message? Surely, no one wears purple and yellow together by choice, unless he or she happens to be a card-carrying member of UKIP, which uses them as the party’s official colours?

Still, it is hard not to adore Melania, who has dignity and poise in every situation, no matter the provocation.

When the Trumps lived in New York, a swanky hairdresser told me that no one in Manhattan would do her hair. Why?

‘Because of her husband’s policies,’ he replied. That seemed rather harsh.

So, rise above, darling girl. When they go low, you go high, Melania. And I don’t just mean those heels.

Crass Clarkson has a point, Greta

Oh, dear. A 59-year-old man bullying a pigtailed schoolgirl is never a good look. Yet that hasn’t stopped Jeremy Clarkson having a ding-dong go at Greta Thunberg.

Those of a delicate disposition should go to the kitchen and pop the eco-friendly kettle on now.

Everyone else can goggle in disbelief at The Grand Tour star telling the 16-year- old environmental activist to ‘shut up and go back to school’ and to ‘stop frightening’ other children.

Few dare to criticise her. Yet, while many are drawn to Greta’s undoubted zeal and big heart, others find her apocalyptic rhetoric alienating

For good measure, he also called her ‘mad and dangerous’ and stated that her ‘idiocy’ was causing ‘sleepless nights’ for millions of us.

It was as if Bigfoot had suddenly rounded on sweet Thumbelina, the Big Bad Wolf snorting twin jets of nostril fire upon Little Green Riding Hood.

But the terrible thing is I find myself agreeing with him. Perhaps Clarkson’s language could have been more temperate and kindly, particularly when confronting an autistic-spectrum schoolgirl who is only trying her best to save the world.

Yet many would concur that some of Miss Thunberg’s own recent statements have been scorched by the hot wind of hyperbole, too.

At the UN Climate Action Summit in September, she fulminated about ‘people dying, entire ecosystems collapsing, the beginning of a mass extinction’. No wonder the little kiddies can’t get to sleep at night!

Few dare to criticise her. Yet, while many are drawn to Greta’s undoubted zeal and big heart, others find her apocalyptic rhetoric alienating.

And it is increasingly discomfiting to see such a young girl being treated by so many adults as an untouchable guru.

I haven’t always felt this way about her. There was something stirring, noble even, about Greta’s recent voyage across the Atlantic in pursuit of a better life for future generations.

If the vision of this plucky schoolgirl on a boat didn’t encourage you to think twice about recycling and composting, then you must have a heart made of non-biodegradable plastic, you brute.

But she has made her point. So perhaps now is a good time for Greta to go back to school, resume her studies and find a positive way to do something about climate change in the future. Anything else is just hot air.