Kim Jong-un smiles during a visit to the Chonji Lubricant Factory. Photo: ? KCNA KCNA / Reuters

Since a 24-year-old American was detained in North Korea on April 10 — the third U.S. citizen currently being held in the country, Matthew Miller was sentenced to six years of hard labor this week for “hostile acts to the DPRK” — boy-king Kim Jong-un has visited a lube factory, examined some high heels, and gone to the aquarium.

That’s life as a young dictator, when constant factory visits and photo ops are your main connection to the outside world. While citizens starve and prisoners are tortured, there are cigarettes to smoke and Swiss cheese to eat. And what a summer of tours it was!

With all the laughter that trails Kim wherever he and his endless expertise go, you’d think he had the unchecked power to execute anyone who didn’t happen to think he was the most magnetic person in the world:

Kim giving field guidance to the Breeding Station No. 621 of the Korean People’s Army (KPA). Photo: KCNA/Xinhua Press/Corbis

“These need to be about this much longer to fit me.”

Kim visits the Pyongyang Hosiery Factory. Photo: ? KCNA KCNA / Reuters

“Wait, seriously, you guys have to eat this shit?”

Kim visits the newly commissioned Kalma Foodstuff Factory. Photo: ? KCNA KCNA / Reuters

“I’ll take this one for the seventh bathroom on the third floor.”

Kim provides field guidance during his visit to the Chollima Tile Factory. Photo: ? KCNA KCNA / Reuters

“I prefer the cucumber melon.”

Kim with wife and beauty products. Photo: Yonhap News/YNA/Newscom

“Do you have these in an eight-and-a-half?”

Kim provides field guidance during his visit to the Wonsan Shoe Factory. Photo: ? KCNA KCNA / Reuters

“[Snort.]”

Kim attending a live-fire drill by a North Korean artillery unit near the eastern border with South Korea. Photo: KCNA/epa/Corbis

“Finally, the panoramic shark-tank torture device we’ve been waiting for.”

Kim visits the Songdowon International Children’s Camp as its remodeling project nears completion. Photo: KCNA / Reuters

“I fathered all of the cute ones who never cry or poop.”

Kim smiles during a visit to Taesongsan General Hospital. Photo: ? KCNA KCNA / Reuters

“They can use these as pillows, too, right? Kidding!”

Kim gives field guidance during his inspection of the Korean People’s Army (KPA) Naval Unit 167. Photo: ? KCNA KCNA / Reuters

“Where’s the beef! Get it, like the Wendy’s commericial? … No?”

Kim gives field guidance during a visit to the Korean People’s Army. Photo: ? KCNA KCNA / Reuters

“I only come here for the ashtray.”

Kim and his wife Ri Sol-ju watching a performance by the Moranbong Band in Pyongyang. Photo: KCNA/EPA/Newscom

“Get one of me and my best friends for Instagram.”

Top leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea Kim Jong Un poses for a photo as he oversees a tactical rocket firing drill of the DPRK military. Photo: Xinhua/Polaris

“#Blessed.”