-001 proposals have the reputation they do because they're hard to write

I know! I didn't mean to imply whatsoever that I know what I'm doing, just explain why I'm starting with a proposal rather than a mainlister

Striking through large sections of text is bad style.

What would be a more accepted alternative for showing the old containment procedures?

The saccadic cloaking device might be ok, but you immediately push it by applying it to ships

It's a device that makes an object in a roughly uniform environment (desert, tundra, sea, etc) invisible to viewers without any noticeable effect on the viewer. It seems perfect for ships, and saying that it works for ships was my way of giving a little context for it without going into "This is how this device works" in an article that isn't about it

inventing new amnestics

I didn't have full knowledge of how the amnestics classes and didn't want to use one and be told that it doesn't work that way. I did find a rough guide for how they're usually used however, and changed Class-R to Class-D. Couldn't find an accepted anterograde amnestic though, so for now I'm leaving Class-tP in until I find an alternative

inventing a new -K class scenario. (Incidentally, I'm pretty sure that particular scenario already exists.)

If you mean NK is already used by another scenario type, I googled around and couldn't find any articles with that in it. If you mean there's already an accepted term for that type of scenario (mass insubordination) then I'll gladly replace it if you point me in the right direction

(And just to be clear, did you feel the same way about Operation Flashbulb or no?)

SCP-2000 barely pulled that off, and the technologies were much better integrated

In-universe, the 2000 article would also be any given personnel's first introduction to those technologies, so it would require a little fleshing out. Drawing focus away from the actual anomaly to explain a cloaking device that's common in ships and certain facilities wouldn't fit well into the article imho. Might as well explain how the solar panels and the automated turrets work too

The level of cover-up and amnesticization rivals that of SCP-2718 and SCP-1427 and probably many others combined. The narrative purpose of this kind of containment is to screamto the reader "THIS IS IMPORTANT," and that builds up expectations you have to meet.

I intended it to contrast with the Safe rating to make the reader question what about this not-inherently-dangerous scip would inspire the Foundation to cover it up so thoroughly, which I intended to pay off with the revelation that rationality itself is subjective. If you don't think it's quite warranted though, do you think it would be a better course of action to make the threat clearer and more potent or just tone down the containment procedures?

Also, having only the O5s be able to physically access something covering a significant portion of a continent just comes across as ridiculous heightening

I think what you're referring to is the line that the automated turrets will kill anyone without "O5 clearance"? If not please let me know. I made clearer what I meant by replacing that with "not given prior clearance by O5 Command."

(Also, if this thing is 600km long, why aren't there smart animals all over Africa?) Edit: oh, right, it was just the eye socket.

Regardless of if you realized this later, you not understanding something first go is a failing of me as an author. I edited in "(Note: The topmost eye socket begins at approximately 50m above ground level, making accidental exposure unlikely)" to clarify

beings hundreds or thousands of kilometers long (Incidentally, if the skeleton stood, the majority of it would be outside the atmosphere)

Wrong link, I'm pretty sure? Unless I'm missing something drastic. Also, that was the intention. It didn't need to breathe

We need more context and depth. We need to be convinced, and all these aspects should tie together in some interesting way.

I'll seek out more feedback, do more reading, and look at restructuring it. Thank you

Blackboxing so many SCPs is utterly pointless. Claiming credit for actual ones would strain credulity and weaken your article.

The message I wanted to get across was "Other rational SCPs are suspected to have come from this one, so there's no known rational intelligence that doesn't come from either 001 or humans." It seems like the Foundation would list out a few relevant examples, and would then expunge those examples when the thing was super-classified. And, like you said, claiming credit for previously unrelated scips would be in bad taste. If there's a better wording to get this across without a bunch of blackboxes that'd be nice, but also I'm not sure I understand what your problem with my current wording is anyway (I've seen it in a lot of other well-known articles)

The image of quardapeds walking on hind legs and using tools is inherently comedic, and thus not doing you any favors here

Understood, but I don't know what the alternative would be

Unfortunately, the reveal happens immediately after introducing us to the thing that will cause it (The machine). There's no build-up, there's barely any payoff, and then the notes following it were rambling and not particularly interesting explorations on the subject.

Thanks for the criticism. I'll think this over and maybe write something more for it (I was partially worried that the article was getting a bit long and winding). Maybe an interview log with one of the exposed subjects could work? It'd also let me explore what exactly those rationality tests I briefly mentioned entail

(Also, almost nobody uses that black box trick, so they'll likely be missed.)

I'm probably not going with that version anyway (originally I thought the conclusion was clear enough without it, and the entry would just be an extra bit of spelling out for those who didn't get it. I've since been told to make it clearer). I'm leaning towards the journal entry right now, but seeking more feedback

The reaction of the O5's is nonsensical. Why do we think that humans would specifically rebel against the Foundation if we told them that the entire basis of their lives is a falsehood? What's the alternative, go back to being monkeys? I think a collapse of civilization is probably more likely, if anything

The Foundation greatly benefits from the narrative of the anomalous being somehow "wrong" and inherently dangerous, even when it's literally labeled Safe. Without that, containment procedures like those for 1237 and 231 might appear less justified, despite both being vital (not to mention high command would seem especially monstrous for authorizing them). Essentially, imagine any of the things the Foundation has done that you think might be overkill and questionable now, and imagine an extra push to that feeling

Also, if there's no real difference between anomalies and non-anomalies, then there's no real reason the Foundation should be its own entity. Yeah, many if not most anomalies are very dangerous, but venomous snakes are also dangerous. Malaria is dangerous. Space itself is dangerous—virtually none of the universe is hospitable for humans. Let the government of each region deal with anomalies in their jurisdiction as they see fit instead of shuttling them off to some unelected unmoderated organization

So my general advice here is, slow down [etc]

I'll be rethinking and refining it with that in mind. Thank you!