Life As We Knew It

A/N – As I've been writing this I've stumbled upon issues in my own life, and my own identity. I'm not sure about what I'm going to do about it, nor do I know the full extent of my own issues, but I'm dealing with them and I apologize for the inconveniences that they pose.

Chapter 5 *Elsa's POV* 3 weeks later

Things were going well, college was progressing well and I was finishing up my exams for senior year. I'd made sure to secure my college tuition before I'd come out, I wanted to be prepared. In hindsight I didn't prepare enough.

I had talked to Anna last night, about transitioning.

"Anna, I know you want me to go to the therapist, but I don't want to start transitioning until I graduate from college. And there's still so much I'm not sure about."

"Elsa, if you don't want to go the therapist that's fine. But I don't want to you to fall into a position where you are helpless. I just think that going for professional help is the best option for you." Anna stated.

The conversation changed after that. Anna could tell I didn't want to continue talking about it. While I'm very sure that I am transgender, it's still not a subject I like to talk about, nor am I very confident in my plans.

As I walked from the bus stop to the lecture hall I saw a small seagull fly overhead and land on one of the flagpoles.

Hmm. I wonder what life is like for you, little one. To be free? Free from the chains of the world. To be able to see the grass and land beneath you, to not be held down. Maybe I should write about you, eh, probably not. Didn't want to start balling my eyes out in the lecture.

I found it increasingly hard to write any poetry. I either started crying or ended up tearing the paper apart and setting it on fire. Helen had walked in me setting a poem on fire last week, she just whispered to me "Don't start the smoke alarm" and closed the door.

My poems also became increasingly, well, romantic. While sure I had wrote about personal feelings, I never wrote about love. I didn't interest me.

When I walked into the lecture hall, hardly anybody was there. Most were probably nursing hangovers or rushing to get morning-after pills. I quietly took my seat and brought out my notebook. When I opened it up I saw a little note stuck into the binding. It was by Mrs. Andersen.

Elsa,

While your time at our house has been short, your presence, at least for me, has been profound. Not only do we have an active participant in family activities, Kristoff has always been rather anti-social, Erik and I feel like we have the daughter we always wanted, while not in appearance, (something we have no problems helping you fix if you so wish) you're most certainly a women, and a very loving one. After I had Kristoff, my husband and I wanted to have a baby girl. Erik wanted a girl that he could watch grow and help nurture into a young women, and I wanted someone that would share the same interests as me. (It's quite hard living in a house full of males and being the only female). But to be honest with you, we couldn't. I found out that I was infertile and that tore me and Erik apart. It took us nearly three years until we were able to sleep in the same bed together, I'm surprised Kristoff doesn't remember it.

When you came to my door, in the middle of a cold and dark winter night. And you came out to me, I didn't know what to expect. Were you going to end up just saying that you were wrong and that you wanted to remain being a boy? But you made me realize how much I was wrong.

Erik and I have come to think of you as our daughter. The one that we so desperately wanted, but never could have. And I personally wanted to tell you that.

Erik and I were wondering if, in the future, you ever wanted to pursue a medical transtition, that my husband and I would pay for it. We decided that we wanted to help you in any way we can because we love you. We really do love you.

Beauty awakens the soul to act,

-Helen

I sat the paper down on my note sheet as I was done reading it. The tears began to fall and stain the paper message. They…..they think of me…as…..their daughter? I quickly began to realize that the lecture was about to start and got up and headed to the bathroom down the hall. When I walked up to the doors I saw the two signs hanging on them. And It sent a pang of anxiety through my chest. The dress mocking me with its femininity and the straight legs haunting me like something of a nightmare.

I ran out of the doors and straight to my car. I threw myself inside and the tears started falling rapidly. I have to go thank them…butt I'm not sure I can take their gift. I mean…..I don't know what to do... I spent the next couple of minutes trying to gather myself up. And then turned on my car and drove to….home?

A/N – Well here it is. Another chapter. I decided that Elsanna is going to come a little bit earlier, if you caught the hint of romantic poetry earlier on. Although it's going to get a bit angsty due to Elsa's first therapy visit and other stuff…

I love you all very much and I'll speak with again soon,

-Luna