Great thanks to Darra and Flyafar for beta-reading.

broken lights

chapter 2: glimpses

Scratches. Bitemarks.

Her neck and chest looked like she'd just lost a fight with a vicious, rabid wolverine. Dark, purple spots marked her collarbone and jaw, the tender spot just below her breasts, her hipbone even. Her thighs. Her–

Elsa gulped down on the bile in her throat and pulled the shirt over her head. It smelled of alcohol and sweat and something that she really didn't want to think about, and it was really the last thing she wanted to wear right now, but it at least covered most of her chest and stomach and–

Damn it! It was torn at the neckline.

She sighed in defeat, turning her attention to her hair instead. She had no idea where her hair tie went, it seemed to have just ran away in fear while she was busy in the night. The best she could do now was try to sort out the knots and tangles and just… sort of pat it down. She really didn't need people to see her with sex hair.

If there were still any people left in the house.

It was sometime after five in the morning. She'd left the still dark room in a state of complete disarray, still drunk enough that she hadn't thought there might be any people in the corridor to see her. It took one broken ray of the rising sun falling through the hummingbird-stencilled corridor window–honestly, what people lived here?–to sober her up just enough to have the decency to cover herself as she dashed to the bathroom.

The drunk guy was thankfully not there, passed out, as she'd feared he might be.

She took a long, scrutinizing look at herself in the mirror. There was a scratch on her cheek as well–she couldn't really remember when that had happened–and her mascara was smudged way beyond a normal drunk night out state, but if somebody looked at her face and face only, they might not think anything of it.

She denied herself the simple pleasure of putting her entire head under the tap and pouring ice cold water to cool down her racing thoughts and stormed out of the bathroom. Back into the bedroom they unwittingly claimed. Fast enough so nobody could hear or see her.

Once inside, she squinted her eyes to see anything in the very dim light. She walked carefully over the clothes and things she'd knocked over scattered on the ground and made it to the bed. Heart hammering in her chest, she moved one of Anna's bare legs out of the way and sat down, then turned to look at her exposed back.

Bitemarks. Scratches.

Something hot and heavy settled in Elsa's stomach.

The almost lifeless body stirred and groaned, before Anna's face contorted into a grimace as she tried to kick Elsa off the bed.

"Olaaaf," she whined. "Fuck offff…"

Elsa furrowed her brows. Now was as good a time as any to wake her up. She cleared her throat.

"It's, uh–" What was she supposed to say? Her name? Her function in Anna's life? She didn't really have any, as Anna herself reminded her last night. "It's me."

Two points for good intentions, idiot.

Anna's eyes fluttered open and for a moment she just stared at the bundled up pillow beside her face, before she slowly turned her head enough to look at Elsa with unfocused eyes.

After a few seconds, her expression went from confused to surprised. Then to curious. Then to– amused?

"So it really happened," she said, sitting up slowly and swaying in the bed so much Elsa instinctively grabbed her arms to steady her. "Holy fucking shit," she whispered, running a hand down her face while she tried to find a more comfortable position on the bed.

The thin cover Elsa had draped over her naked butt before she'd left the room–to save Anna at least some dignity had anyone walked in while she was in the bathroom–fell off crumpled on the mattress, but Anna didn't seem to mind at all. It would probably be even weirder if either of them did after last night.

Still, Elsa tried to stop her eyes from wandering South. Even if the spot of ink just below Anna's breasts called out to her.

Shit. She'd just had sex with her and she didn't even get an actual good look at her yet.

"I thought it was just a fucked up dream."

"Yeah," Elsa agreed quietly, letting go of her once she made sure she was not falling over anymore. "I hoped so too."

Anna shrugged. "I didn't, honestly. It was great." She smirked, and Elsa felt a chill run up her spine. "You were great, Elsa."

It was the first time in years she'd heard Anna say her name. She'd never have imagined it would be under these circumstances.

"Shut up," she muttered, looking down at her lap.

"What, was I bad?"

"No, that's not–" she started, flustered, but realized Anna was only joking when she looked at her devious smirk. "Stop it. This was wrong."

"You just said you liked it."

"I didn't–"

"So I was bad?"

"No, Anna, I–" Elsa gritted her teeth. Anna was just having fun at her expense. Well, even more fun than she'd already had. "Really, stop it. We've done something very fucked up."

Anna raised her brows. "You didn't seem to think that way a few hours ago."

"I was drunk."

"And?"

"And–" Elsa sighed in exasperation. "And it was a mistake, okay? I'm sorry."

Anna's brows rose even higher. "You're sorry?"

Elsa nodded.

"Elsa, this is the most time you'd spent with me in–" Anna closed her eyes for a second. "Nine years. If anything, that's what you should be sorry about."

"But–"

"But what? But this was wrong?" Elsa nodded, and Anna huffed. "Why?"

Elsa tried to bore a hole through her own knees with her gaze. "Because we're sisters," she said quietly, almost whispered, overcome with sudden fear that someone could hear them.

Anna laughed.

"What?"

"That's your argument? Not the we only just met at a party? Not I barely know you? This?"

"I–"

"Elsa, the last time I even saw you at all was probably six or seven years ago," Anna spat out, angrily reaching out to hold Elsa's jaw and force her to look at her. "You don't get to call yourself my sister."

She dropped her hand to rest by her bare hip. Elsa just kept looking at her, trying her hardest not to stray away from Anna's face.

Scratches. Bruises. Bitemarks. Hickeys.

"What are you gonna do?"

Elsa let out a short, sad laugh. "I don't know. Call an Uber?"

Anna snorted. "Yeah, that's a good place to start."

She fell silent for a second after that, looking into Elsa's eyes, searching for something Elsa was not sure she was going to find there.

"So–"

"Can I go with you?" Anna asked quietly, and for the first time since she met her yesterday Elsa felt something that edged on vulnerability in her voice. "I'm sure Kris and the others have left already, I wouldn't even expect for them to look for me, and I'm kinda…"

She didn't continue.

"Out of cash?"

"Yeah."

"Does your mother even know where you are?"

Anna sent her a stern look. "She's your mother too, you know." She kicked off the bed and swayed across the carpeted floor, picking up various pieces of clothes where she found them. "Not that you should care, anyway."

"Right." Elsa felt shame spread in hot red across her face. "Sorry."

Anna dropped the pants she was holding and sighed. "Stop saying that," she murmured, turning towards her, but Elsa couldn't be really sure if she was even looking at her in the dark. "If you had to say sorry for everything you fucked up in your life, you'd never shut up."

"Ouch."

"Yeah." She picked up the pants again and pulled them on, wobbling dangerously on one leg.

Elsa reached out to give her a steady hand, and she took it without any comment.

The Uber driver didn't seem overly happy with the super early morning ride. Or the two drunk girls entering his backseat.

Elsa held the door open for Anna, circling an arm around her waist to catch her when she swayed dangerously to her side. Once she was sure Anna was seated and all of her appendages were safe inside the car, she shut the door and made it to the other side.

"107 Mason Lane, right?" the Uber driver asked, typing on his phone.

"Yeah, but we'll be making a stop at–" Elsa turned towards Anna, feeling shame bloom all over her face again. "Uh, where do you live?"

Anna rolled her eyes. "82 Lake View Road," she said more to the Uber driver than to Elsa, before turning her attention back to her. She scoffed when she saw Elsa's expression. "Quit it."

"Sor–"

"Don't."

"Are you sure?" the Uber driver suddenly asked, finished with putting Anna's address in. He gave Elsa a puzzled look through the rear-view mirror.

She only nodded, trying to keep a poker face. With a shrug and a grumble of what Elsa could swear was it's your money, he started the engine.

The car rolled out of the driveway of whoever's house it was, and Anna closed her eyes. Elsa couldn't bear to just stare at her like a creep, so she turned to the window and watched the world coming to life. Normally, she'd be asleep at this hour, and on a rare occasion that she wasn't she'd be looking at the screen of her computer, playing whatever game it was that currently became her new obsession. A car ride at this hour was something very out of the ordinary. A car ride with her sister was just straight out of the Twilight Zone.

But there they were. Twinkling rays of the morning sun blinding her mercilessly, broken by the branches of a neat row of trees in this random suburb. Only the constant hum of the engine breaking the silence while they headed towards 82 Lake View Road. Where her sister and her mother lived.

The sigh she wanted to let out got interrupted with a head on her shoulder.

"Lost in thought?" Anna asked, still slurring a little. She must have drank a lot more than Elsa the past night. Elsa felt a pang of elder sibling protectiveness at that, but she shut it down. "Wanna talk about it?"

Elsa shook her head.

"We should, I think."

"There's just–" Elsa started in a whisper, looking cautiously at the Uber driver, but he didn't seem to give a single fuck about their conversation. "There's so many questions I wanna ask."

"Yeah, same."

"But I'd rather wait until you're…"

"Sober?" Anna finished for her when Elsa's words faltered. "I'm not really sure how fine I'll be with that. Right now I am."

Elsa huffed. "Yeah, I can tell."

Anna nuzzled into her shoulder. Her hair smelled pretty much like Elsa's shirt did, with maybe a hint of some citrus-scented shampoo, when Elsa finally gave in and rested her cheek on Anna's head. This was… certainly better than what they had done, that she was sure of.

Peaceful, maybe.

Nice.

The car continued smoothly through the suburbs, undisturbed by traffic, as Elsa listened to the steady breathing at her side. Anna was dozing off, her head resting heavily on Elsa's shoulder. She moved out of her seat to the middle, and then practically forced her way into Elsa's seat as well. There wasn't an inch of space between them.

She was warm. Very, extremely warm.

Her breast pressing into Elsa's reminded her all too vividly of the previous night, and she could only hope the Uber driver was not going to look at her flushed face through the mirror.

"Elsa?"

It was so quiet she almost didn't hear her over the engine, but she'd felt the word vibrate in her own chest.

She was so close.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want my number?"

Elsa's heart froze. She didn't even want to try to ask, not with the way Anna was acting towards her, not with what happened between them the previous night. But… right now, Anna was draped all over her, with a sleepy, innocent look in her eyes and a hopeful tone in her voice.

Fuck.

"Of course."

A moment passed. "Give me your phone," Anna said, a little more of what Elsa wrote up as her normal demeanor getting through as she pushed herself off Elsa's shoulder, hand resting on Elsa's knee.

Even with the shift, she was still leaning against her side with her full body weight, but Elsa managed to fish the phone out of her pocket. Anna snatched it right after Elsa unlocked it, and began to type frantically.

"Here," she said after a while, handing her the phone back. "You didn't have any other Annas on your contact list, so I just put myself as that."

Elsa unlocked her phone and looked at the contact list.

"I sent myself a message, too. Wanted your number." She shrugged. "Just in case."

Elsa clicked the messages and snorted. It only said tiddies.

"You're weird, Anna."

"You're weird, Elsa."

They stopped by a house on Lake View Road far sooner than Elsa would have liked.

It looked… a little too big to be cozy, and she had no doubt the interior matched the almost formal outerior. The front lawn was a bit unkempt, though, and she could only guess that was Anna's responsibility. This Anna seemed like the kind of person to forget to mow the lawn.

Unless it wasn't hers. Maybe there was someone else living there. A man. Maybe more children. This was a pretty big house for just Anna and her mother.

Our mother.

She really didn't want to think about it.

Anna was asleep by then, resting with her head in Elsa's lap, shoulders exposed to the cool air in her cut-off t-shirt. Elsa ran her fingers along the goose-bumped skin of Anna's arm, watching her face twist into a grimace as she stirred awake, looking around groggily.

"Your stop," Elsa said quietly while flashing the driver an apologetic smile. She really didn't want to kick Anna out, but she hated to make him wait as well. "Come on, Anna, we're here."

Anna yawned and pushed herself to a sitting position. She blinked a few times in confusion.

Elsa sighed. "We're at your–"

She didn't get to finish, cut off by soft, warm lips on her own and a tongue slipping in leisurely. Lazily, even, like a sated lion playing with its prey. While Anna closed her eyes, Elsa's remained wide open, looking to the side at the back of the driver's head.

It ended even more suddenly than it started, with Anna moving away and smirking at her deviously.

She won again.

"I'll see you around," she husked out before she slid back into her seat and opened the door, stepping out into the cold morning.

She slammed the door shut and stood at the curb of the sidewalk, putting a hand with her thumb and pinky sticking out to her face. Elsa nodded, not even sure if Anna could see that, before the Uber driver took off.

She turned around to stare at Anna, still standing on the sidewalk, waving at the car until she was just a small dot on the horizon.