Is sexual harassment the most important issue facing female humanitarians? If you say yes, you are not alone. In a poll promoted on social media, 41% of respondents identified harassment as the top concern for female aid workers.

Our survey results reinforce decades of research – evidence that has fallen on deaf ears and failed to spark concrete change. For women working in humanitarian settings, the greatest risks they face in responding to emergencies come from their very own employers.

But we will not sit quietly any longer. It is clear that female humanitarians are eager to tell their stories.

In July, a question was posted on a Facebook group for female humanitarians, asking what challenges women face in the field. Responses were overwhelming and disturbing. We subsequently created and shared a survey to collect this feedback more systematically. Within five days, there were 600 responses.

This survey reached a broad cross-section of female humanitarians – women from all over the globe, seasoned and starting professionals, young and older, and those working for local, international organisations as well as the UN. The discrimination female humanitarians face is layered. National women face greater challenges than expatriate women. Women with intersecting marginalised identities face compounding discriminations.

On 19 August, World Humanitarian Day honours women who work in crisis settings, the so-called “unsung heroes”. The UN Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs touts the “unparalleled uniqueness” of female humanitarians, adding to the “global momentum of female strength, power and perseverance”. Undoubtedly worthy praise. And yet, kudos ring hollow without substantive change to a system that discriminates against the very women it praises.

Our survey reinforces anecdotal evidence that the pervasive “cowboy culture” of humanitarian emergencies serves to silence women with a common refrain: if women cannot “handle” the harsh realities of the field, they should find a job elsewhere. In fact, 35% of the respondents felt that the humanitarian system rewards sexism and discrimination – and hides abuses. Ironic, given that work towards achieving gender equality is a “humanitarian imperative”.

This has long been a problem, only recently coming to light with the reports of Oxfam staffers’ abuse of Haitian women in the response to the 2010 earthquake— what has become known as #AidToo. It is not an issue exclusive to Oxfam. Violence against women is rife within aid agencies, affecting both staff and those meant to benefit from aid programmes.

No one should experience this violence and discrimination in their workplace. Women revealed that they have been raped but, fearful of repercussions or derailing their careers, never reported the incident. The vast majority of aid agencies lack safe and confidential reporting mechanisms. Incidents are dismissed or negated and abusers’ careers continue unharmed.

More than 400 women shared stories that describe a “culture of sexual exploitation”, one where they are mocked – and even relocated – for arguing in favour of their own safety and forced to tolerate constant patronising remarks and sexist comments about their dress and bodies. Women in this field are denied opportunities – including equal pay, benefits, and protections – simply because they are women. They are told that they are “too young and too pretty” to be handling complex issues and instructed to take notes during meetings – even if they are the most senior in the room – because it is assumed they are in subordinate positions.

When aid agencies seek to put gender parity strategies in place to encourage more women on staff, we hear lamentations from male colleagues about how they risk losing their jobs to “unqualified women”, simply to fill a quota.

The solutions that female humanitarians propose are straightforward and easily achievable. Women want greater recruitment and retention – particularly in leadership positions. They hope for a fundamental shift in the male-dominated culture of humanitarian organisations to dismantle the unequal distribution of power.

Women want reform of human resource systems to ensure equitable pay, benefits, promotions, and opportunities, while also ensuring zero tolerance for discrimination and abuses. All humanitarian organisations should undertake internal gender audits, committing both human and financial resources to improve conditions and remedy past wrongs.

There is no point in celebrating female humanitarians without listening to – and delivering upon - their calls for reform. And unless pervasive workplace harassment and abuse ends, we do not have much to celebrate.

While no country can claim full gender parity – and countries affected by humanitarian crises often have the longest road ahead – it is ironic that the very institutions deployed to protect and empower women continue to violate equality within their own spaces. What hope do we have for global gender equality when the systems established to deliver equality remain vastly unequal?

• Erin Kenny is an advocate for ending violence against women and girls; Marcy Hersh works in humanitarian advocacy for women and girls; Dr Lina Abirafeh is executive director at the Arab Institute for Women at the Lebanese American University; Mendy Marsh is co-founder and executive director of Voice