rating: 0 + x ██████████ Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: At this time, all further attempts to capture SCP-XXXX should be restricted to children volunteered by Foundation personnel; i.e. their biological or adopted children. For a checklist for appropriate qualities, refer to Document XXXX-1. To determine appropriate compensation for volunteering, refer to Document XXXX-2. A detachment from Mobile Task Force Mu-13 ("Ghostbusters") should be requisitioned for capture operations at least three months ahead of time, but are considered lowest priority. Description: SCP-XXXX is a spectral humanoid tentatively classified as a New Era djinn, which looks like a human skeleton wearing a party hat. SCP-XXXX's existence is predicated on a metaphysical relationship to all human beings that were and will be born after some unknown time period, speculated to be in the 5th century BC. This relationship consists of a single exchange betweeen SCP-XXXX and a child when it is night on their sixth birthday. SCP-XXXX will offer the child one wish for whatever they want, in exchange for the child's third eye. If the child accepts, SCP-XXXX will extract [REDACTED] from the child through the center of their forehead. It will then grant their wish, regardless of price. When engaged by Foundation operatives, SCP-XXXX has remained peaceful and cooperative. It has, however, been able to escape every Foundation sting operation thus far. The primary danger of SCP-XXXX comes from the potential to grant wishes that could irreparably damage normalcy. SCP-XXXX engages with far more children than the Foundation could possibly intercept. Therefore, research is ongoing to identify SCP-XXXX's true name and thus devise a containment ritual for it. This research has been aided by interviews conducted with SCP-XXXX during sting operations. Addendum: Recorded Interviews with SCP-XXXX + Interview I - Hide interview log Date: ██/██/████ Interviewer: Captain Agnes, Mobile Task Force Mu-13 "Ghostbusters" Subject: SCP-XXXX Context: Child was an orphan in a Foundation-front foster house. Instructed ahead of time to wish for an action figure from their favorite television show. 12:49 AM <•Croquembouche> I think you need to scrap the constraints of the comic and use it as just an inspiration

12:54 AM <•ARD> Damn

12:54 AM <•ARD> OK, thanks!

12:54 AM <•ARD> I might reframe the birthday skeleton now into a more predatory entity

12:54 AM <•ARD> like Koh, the Face-Stealer

12:55 AM <•ARD> keep the idea of "a wish for the third eye" but make it so the skeleton HAS to offer a wish at some point

12:55 AM <•ARD> he just found a loophole

12:55 AM <•ARD> I appreciate the feedback + Show whatever - Hide interview log Whatever text to show/hide.

scp-2747 keeps trying to escape narratives by blowing them up

scp-184 generates ever-expanding spaces

what if 184 could be used to contain 2747 somehow? The entrance to SCP-5480 Item #: SCP-5480 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: A shrine has been built on top of SCP-5480 to conceal it, with a three-man security detail present inside at all times to amnesticize any trespassers and alert local Foundation assets for clean-up. The porthole on the south wall of SCP-5480 has been sealed off by concrete; all other information about this porthole must be expunged. Description: SCP-5480 is a bunker underneath the center of the Kowloon Walled City Park (formerly the Kowloon Walled City). Access is granted via a ladder mounted to the bunker's west wall. The inside of the bunker is a single cubic room, 27 m3, buried under the ground. A warning light and siren are mounted to the center of the bunker ceiling; both have continued to flash periodically since SCP-5480's initial discovery. A shattered porthole on the north wall shows only the natural bedrock under the Kowloon Walled City. Underneath this porthole is an empty receptacle for a dodecahedral object, with a small sphere attached to each vertex. The receptacle is inscribed with the label "DEPARTMENT OF ABNORMALITIES". A monitoring console and two portholes are mounted to the east wall. The left porthole depicts an abstract, birds-eye-view of a wireframe labyrinth that appears to be gradually shrinking and losing complexity. A counter above the labyrinth reads "ENCRYPTION INCOMPLETE. TIME TO SOLUTION: [REDACTED]". The right port displays a wireframe image of a Minotaur charging forward. Text above the Minotaur reads, "ERROR: CRITICAL SCRAMBLE FAILURE". A single red button labeled "BREACH ALERT" is present on the console below each porthole; it is unclear what pressing either button does. The porthole on the south wall is an extreme cognitohazard; any sensory perception of this porthole or what it shows results in the spontaneous physical inversion and exsanguination of the viewer, as if being turned inside-out and then torn apart from the inside. Addendum: Discovery Log SCP-5480 was discovered on 07/05/1994, when its opening triggered an obsolete security alert at Overwatch Command. The signal's location was identified via lookup in a pre-formation security codex and the south porthole sealed by Mobile Task Force Eta-10 ("See No Evil") after initial casualties. Per the three casualties initially found in the bunker (two by the CRT terminals and one at the ladder's base), SCP-5480 is thought to have been located and opened accidentally by Kowloon Walled City residents. [[footnoteblock]] [[div class="footer-wikiwalk-nav"]] [[=]] << [[[SCP-5479]]] | SCP-5480 | [[[SCP-5481]]] >> [[/=]] [[/div]] [[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]]] ===== > **Filename:** ladder.png > **Author:** Adam Rosenberg, modified by [[*user djkaktus]] > **License:** CC BY 2.0 > **Source Link:** https://www.flickr.com/photos/adamrosenberg/6468905339/in/photolist-aRCQbF-fpH1W-5wpzu2-eGuejr-dqVMXf-ab6q22-dAorM-8BXrAU-6oSCw5-8Cw9AE-s2YvQ-pJbueA-Ds2WwL-2gsij67-7Q2Pd2-28UXirq-8Cw2zh-8CsGjn-tjJ3f1-CnFDAU-379Tqu-5v6Map-8CwgeE-8CsJzH-2iDwJGV-afrdyc-afDTK9-b2PMf8-8H59Bf-YYoiWu-8CvUh3-gLvWP-ishMeC-depr3i-6JpSuq-GNp1d-9ccR4u-GNnzL-otkeqw-V1mRVt-6Lj5Cc-6Xbihm-bwCAVn-5ogoWH-Y4pxcv-7FyR7p-8Dk8cm-4yHQAj-aXZiFg-4wiXNo ===== [[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]] Captain Kirby:

And honestly, in that case I feel like you have a big missed opportunity with recursive city imagery when describing the extradimensional space.

I think I'm game with that general throughline, I just wish that you made a bit better use of the avenues for imagery you gave yourself

Like, 3220, and 5832 are like, effectively only imagery and people can draw the conclusions from said imagery which I think makes them punchier stormfallen

Mmh…I'm not feeling this one. Maybe it's how recognizable 184 is, but I never got the "oh shit" moment from that that other DoA articles give. Also, "impending world-ending catastrophe with a single missing piece that would solve everything" is something I feel I've seen a dozen times across the site.

Also feels a little weird that all the references to the Minotaur and Daedalus's labyrinth would be entirely across the world from Crete, though 184's origin in Kowloon does kinda force your hand there. ROUNDERHOUSE> what storm said - the 'doa hints toward a classic anomaly' only works so many times, and its way too obvious here to have any oomph — the rest was just boring

•ARD> ROUNDERHOUSE: you think the idea of “184 was used to make a maze for a Minotaur” has any legs at all?

7:07 PM <ROUNDERHOUSE> sure but you'll want to invoke the idea of the classical minotaur

7:08 PM <ROUNDERHOUSE> i don't give a toot about making a maze for *a* minotaur, i care about *the* minotaur, yknow?

7:09 PM <•ARD> I used “Minotaur” here in the allegorical sense

7:09 PM <ROUNDERHOUSE> i liked the idea of the doa stuff being linked to obsolete security alerts at overwatch though

rating: 0 + x Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: Satellite footage of SCP-XXXX's present location is to be doctored such that its mountain cannot be seen. A five kilometer exclusion zone has been established around SCP-XXXX's location Description: SCP-XXXX is a hominid skull missing its lower jaw. Several features of the skull, such as its shape and size of the ocular and nasal cavities, are reminiscent of Homo neanderthalensis; however, the skull possesses a large ridge running along its top like that of many herbivorous extinct hominids. The forehead of the skull has been branded with a pentagram inscribed within a circle. SCP-XXXX was initially discovered by Foundation operatives on the eastern face of K2 , held in a copper-iron cage via iron chain. The chain was tethered to an overhang by an iron spike engraved with the letters "D O A". At the time of discovery, it was decided to leave the anomaly for retrieval at a later date; however, an ice fall collapsed the overhang and caused the cage to fall down the mountain. SCP-XXXX was subsequently located in Canada's Yukon Territory, in the now-destroyed Caribou Crossing, when the entire population of the town went missing. tracks were made by something dragging the cage through the snow, using the spike to continually pull itself forward; the tracks led to the town's church, where SCP-XXXX still present in its cage but hanging from its spike above the pulpit. An attempt was made to retrieve SCP-XXXX from above the pulpit; however, a minor earthquake occurred, dislodging the spike and causing the combined objects to fall and break through the church floor into a sinkhole. A search of the sinkhole found no trace of SCP-XXXX. Over the next ten years, numerous other communities in the northern Canadian territories would be subject to similar Addendum: On ██/██/██, SCP-XXXX was located at its current point of containment in Persia: an artificial peak, approximately 206 meters tall, comprised entirely of fused human remains that were identifiable as victims of the aforementioned disappearances. SCP-XXXX was located near the peak in the cage, suspended from the chain, and tethered to the mountain by its spike.

rating: 0 + x Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: Foundation agents will periodically sweep medical and police records within their deployment zones and identify cases with symptoms similar to SCP-XXXX. For medical cases, once the victim's identity is confirmed, undercover agents will move into the area and coerce the victim to receive treatment from a Foundation-employed therapist for six months, after which Mobile Task Force Pi-1 ("City Slickers") will excise the victim and class their death as a suicide. For police cases, Pi-1 will directly excise the victim and class their death as a failed mugging. In both cases, the corpse will be transferred to the Foundation Medical Department for analysis. RAISA and the Medical Department are currently liaising with the World Health Organization to have SCP-XXXX falsely classified as a legitimate medical disorder. Description: SCP-XXXX is an anomalous perceptual phenomenon. Affected individuals perceive that they are being followed by the gazes of all subjects in visual media (drawings, photographs, videos, etc). This phenomenon begins as sparse, brief glances from the people in the image, which gradually progress to blatant, lingering movements, to repetitive slow and fast scans, and eventually to constant following of the subject. This effect progresses from the actors on the television, to characters in photographs and cartoons, and eventually even drawings of people or eyes. The obvious initial discomfort aside, this phenomenon invariably has a negative effect on its victims' psychological health. Paranoia, insomnia, and psychotic depression are common symptoms. In addition, victims develop a paranoia complex around the eyes of people in the real world. This eventually translates to a maniacal aggression towards eyes. Victims will assault their fellow human beings and seek to destroy their eyes. Notably, SCP-XXXX's effect has never actually affected the victim's real-life surroundings. No more eyes follow them or for longer than would be statistically significant in the human populace of an appropriate size.



Addendum: Trace Log of SCP-XXXX SCP-XXXX's place of origin is unclear. An abridged log of notable recorded occurrences and their consequences is as follows: 1962: The first report. A schoolteacher reports to the local newspaper that some of the people in his television seemed to be spying on him. No followup occurred; it was thought to be a hoax.

1964: The seventh report. A Foundation researcher reports that the eyes on a television screen had started following him rather than the subject of another television-related anomaly. This was initially marked as a property of contagion from the other anomaly.

1968: The ninth through fifty-third reports of SCP-XXXX emerge. The popularity spike in televisions after the Apollo moon landings mostly likely caused this spike in occurrences.

1973: The 204th report. Foundation agents investigating the American Watergate scandal intercept personal correspondence from Bob Woodward to Frances Kuper, in which he reports nightmares of photographed subjects staring at him while he works.

1995: The 1475th report and the first outside the United States. In an interview with the BBC, ████████ █████ expresses the fear that British Secret Intelligence are spying on her through cameras and peepholes behind photographs in her residence. The Foundation promptly censors the report and amnesticizes █████.

2000: The 1991st report. O5-5, on Lunar Area 01, reports that photos of his grandson are spying on him.

Access SCiPNET Email? One (1) new message! URGENT: SCP-XXXX Deadline Tomorrow To: Researcher Brandeis Malone

From: Researcher Arjun Rao

Subject: URGENT: SCP-XXXX Deadline Tomorrow Quick heads-up: the deadline on the object writeup was pushed up to Tomorrow instead of next week. Email it to me by 11:30 PM tonight. I apologize for dropping this on you but Overseer 5 wants to know why his TV's watching him now instead of later.



| last login: tue may 26 06:37:23 on ttys000

| > BMALONE:~ SITE_05%default$:

| Access Granted

| > open scp-xxxx -e -l 4

| Edit Permissions Granted, Level 4



| Item #: SCP-XXXX

|

| Object Class: Keter

|

| Special Containment Procedures: <Under consideration>

|

| Description: SCP-XXXX is the designation for individuals that gain the capacity to see past the visual camouflage of ENSLAVED INDRA DUMAH WOTAN, the all-seeing intelligence married to the Foundation till death. First deployed in 1965, the EIDW platform forms the backbone of the Foundation's surveillance network. It collects and filters audovisual data on the entire human populace to rapidly identify anomalies and phenomena in progress… |

rating: 0 + x Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Neutralized Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX was explosively disarmed by Mobile Task Force Psi-7 ("Home Improvement") and deconsecrated by Mobile Task Force Alpha-6 ("Heaven Crackers"). Its pieces have since been melted down and used to construct components in tartarean engines. Description: SCP-XXXX was the "Stardust Firecrackers" roller coaster ride. SCP-XXXX was constructed for the the defunct GOI-919 "Heaven's Skies Amusement Park" in 1965, until the GOI's disappearance in 1990 and the ride reappeared at the Bright Orchards Amusement Park in Cimarron, Kansas. SCP-XXXX operated at Bright Orchards until 2001, when it was discovered, purchased, disarmed, and deconsecrated by the Foundation. SCP-XXXX was a steel coaster of the same model as the Jet-Star, notable for being one of the first to possess an an electric spiral lift hill. SCP-XXXX was themed around the concept of entering a meteor shower. As a result, there was a long dark section during which time the cars would be completely hidden from the outside, themed on the inside as riding the tail of the meteor. During this section, selected riders would be apparated into an as-yet unknown afterlife. SCP-XXXX's method of selection seems to have been roughly predicated on late-20th-century American cultural notions of good and evil mixed with the Judeo-Christian concepts of sin and redemption. As a result, the coaster's properties remained unknown until 2001. For most of its lifetime, the coaster only apparated children. In particular, enough children went missing from the park that it was temporarily closed in 1973 on account of being a front for child human trafficking, before being reopened again in 1974. From then until 1990, the park continued to operate, with a focus on apparating children of minor ethnicities and/or lower socioeoconomic classes. On average, 17 children and 3 adults were apparated by the ride every year. On June 14, 2001, 39 of the 40 riders who entered SCP-XXXX at 1657 GMT that day were apparated by the ride. The sole sinner was James Calmenza, a 34-year-old Hispanic male of Middle Eastern descent. Calmenza was interviewed about his experiences on the ride. Interviewer: Agent van Simond

Observing: Agent Morlena

Subject: James Calmenza

Date: 14/06/2001 [BEGIN TRANSCRIPT] van Simond: Hi James, thanks for your time today. Calmenza: No officer, my pleasure. van Simond: So, Officer Morey here and I basically just wanted to get down your experience on the ride. We know you had nothing to do with it of course, I mean, aheh, 39 people? Insane. Calmenza: Yes… insane. van Simond: So! Let's just get this started and both get home for dinner, eh? Calmenza: Indeed. Please state your name for the record. James… James Calmenza. James, what is your occupation and what is your address? I live on 711 Prairie Avenue, in Cimarron, Kansas. I am a carpenter for hire. James, what were you doing at the time of the disappearance? I had decided to treat myself to a day out. I had just finished… a large job, repairing the pipe organ for the Church of the Nazarene. It was quality craftsmanship. No I mean, at the exact time. Oh, ah. I was riding the Stardust Crusaders. We were in the… dark part. The tunnel. And I saw the angels. Angels? Angels. Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs] + Show whatever - Hide whatever Whatever text to show/hide.

rating: 0 + x Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is stored in Site-19's Large-Scale Warehouse. Samples of SCP-XXXX may be requested via the Metallurgy Department. Samples of SCP-XXXX-1 may be requested via the Xenobiology Department. Description: SCP-XXXX is a partially deformed bullet Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs] + Show whatever - Hide whatever Whatever text to show/hide.

rating: 0 + x Item#: XXXX Level6 Containment Class: esoteric Secondary Class: archon Disruption Class: vlam Risk Class: danger link to memo

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is contained on-site in Overwatch Command. Information about SCP-XXXX must remain strictly confined to the members of the Overseer Council. New Overseers are recommended to spend at least one hour per day for their first two months on-site in the meeting room to become acclimated to SCP-XXXX. O5-13 has taken paracausal means to ensure both that SCP-XXXX remains in place and that Meeting Room 100 sees regular use. Meeting Room 100 should only be cleaned by robotic vacuums. The keg of Jim Beam 100 Proof and thirteen highball glasses kept in Room 100 are to be replaced by the Overseer Council on a rotating basis (see schedule in Room 100). Description: SCP-XXXX is a large dial that resembles a water pressure gauge, consisting of a needle that tracks back and forth across a multicolored semicircular dial. The dial contains 100 ticks, and transitions from green color on the far left to red on the far right. The words DOOM METER are attached to the wall in large block letters above the top of the dial. Upon looking at SCP-XXXX, the viewer will have an immediate and instinctive recognition of how close the Foundation and humanity are to irrecoverable collapse and destruction at that moment. This typically results in extreme anxiety, paranoia, fear, and other natural stress responses. Alcohol has proven to be the best means of dampening these responses. SCP-XXXX was installed in 1969 by O5-13, shortly after the intra-Foundational Conference on Standardized Units of Anomalous Measurement which codified common units of anomalous measurement like Humes and Akivas. Addendum: Initial Discovery of SCP-XXXX Internal Audio Recording Transcript In Attendance: O5-01

O5-05

O5-13 O5-13: What do you think? O5-01: What do I — Jesus Christ, I think I'm, I'm — I need to sit down for a moment. I need a goddamn chair — O5-05: Congratulations, Joseph. You've invented a cognitohazard. O5-13: No, gentlemen, an eminently practical tool. This is the DOOM METER. [A beep is heard from O5-05's pocket.] One look at that dial and you know immediately just how fucked we are, excuse the language. O5-01: I do my job by not thinking about how close we are to imminent demise at all time, thank you. O5-13: Exactly! It's causing you to lose perspective. There's no better way to regain that perspective than by knowing how fucked we are at any given moment. Not only does the DOOM METER [beep] offer that perspective, it offers it in eminently practical units. O5-05: And what units are those, pray tell? O5-13: Dooms! One doom is defined as the number of shots of 100-proof alcohol you'll need to drink to stem the incapacitating guilt and fear about our impending demises within one hour. O5-01: But how is that practical? What is that… fifty dooms? What the hell do you expect us to do with that information? How do you expect us to get three pounds of liquour in here, let alone drink it? O5-05: Kilograms, Alan. One point three six kilograms. O5-13: Fifty-one. Don't worry about the drink. Here. O5-13 points to a large keg in the corner of the room labeled "Jim Beam 100". O5-01: Dammit, Joseph, we've talked about this. You're supposed to use your abilities for emergencies only. O5-13: We're at fifty-one DOOMS [beep] and you don't think this is an emergency? Drink up, you'll need it. O5-01: How the hell did you even come up with these numbers? How the hell does that dial even work? O5-13: Experimental analysis of course. I built the dial and then drank until I could look at it without heart palpitations. It's even a metric unit, for your convenience. O5-05: Shots aren't metric, you — wait. Wait a goddamn minute. Is that what this is about? The goddamn standards conference? O5-13: Standards are for practical measurements. Tell me one practical thing about Humes, Alan. One. O5-05: Grounding reality benders in reality! I refuse to have this argument with you, you clown. Not all of us are in communion with invisible magic space daddies that granted us the position via nepotism. O5-13: [looking at the reader] You know, in seventy years, history will agree with me. O5-05: You're doing it again! Stop doing that - stop communing with the past or the future or some other plane of reality while I'm talking to you! That is exactly the kind of bullshit that Humes and Akivas are meant to counter. O5-01: I agree with Alan. That party trick of yours is extremely irritating, especially when you step out of reality during meetings. We deserve a little more respect from you. O5-13: We're not talking about me, here, we're talking about Humes! What the hell even are they for? Measuring reality? I'm Joseph Tamlin and even I don't know what the hell that means. The DOOM METER [beep] is much more - what the hell is that noise? [O5-05 reaches into his pocket and pulls out a thick black box much larger than his pockets would allow.] O5-05: It's a Kant counter, you son of a bitch. It's how you measure Humes, and every time you say "doom meter" — make sure that stays uncapitalized in the transcript — it tells me you're warping reality somehow to make it loud and thunderous. O5-13: Fantastic! Can it tell you how I'm doing that? [There is a pause.] O5-05: No, but — O5-13: Then what's the damn point? O5-01: He's got a point there, Alan. O5-05: You shut up, you've done nothing but have a heart attack since we got here. O5-01: Me shut up? This is the thanks I get for defending you, Alan, you son of a — O5-01 spins around to look at O5-05 and inadvertently looks at SCP-XXXX. O5-01: Christ. My arm is numb. O5-01 collapses backwards. O5-05 pushes the service button on the table. O5-05: We need a doctor in here immediately, Overseer One is suffering cardiac distress. O5-05 releases the button. O5-05: Newton didn't need to know how gravity worked to work out orbital mechanics. Kant Counters let us devise and apply actual theory to reality bending studies. Your "doom meter" lets you justify day drinking. O5-13: DOOM METER! [beep] Capitalize it. Give it the respect it deserves! O5-05: Respect? Your meter is for the birds. Let me show you. [O5-05 raises his middle finger.] O5-13: Kill the recording. I've got a few words for you will need to be expunged, you goat-sucking — END TRANSCRIPT The dial has only shifted once since its installation: during a meeting on 05/14/1984, O5-13 realized that the meter was jammed. He applied percussive maintenance to the device, whereupon it registered 98.5 dooms. Periodic percussive maintenance has ensured SCP-XXXX's continued operation.

rating: 0 + x Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Neutralized Special Containment Procedures: None. The Foundation is currently attempting to negotiate with the United States of America for the release of files related to SCP-XXXX within their archives; if necessary, political pressure may be placed on the USA to achieve this end. Description: SCP-XXXX is a synthetic food product known as "R-Rations". When SCP-XXXX mixes with human bodily fluids, it becomes a highly potent mutagen that induces severe phenotypical mutations in humans. SCP-XXXX only affects the immediate body part that contacts it, with extremely consistent forms of mutation. R-Rations were developed by the now-defunct Kervier Multinational Food Co., a subsidiary of Kervier Incorporated, in response to a Pentagram-funded competition to develop a new type of full-nutrition military ration for use in conflicts such as the Korean and Vietnam Wars. While the exact composition of R-Rations are not known, Kervier marketing material describes it in the following way: R-Rations are a functional-complete full nutrition meal. One R-Ration supplies the eater with 3,000 Calories. R-Rations contain all primary vitamins and minerals, and are nutritionally representative of each food group in the precise proportional manner The first batch of R-Rations were tested within Callahan Air Force Base in the United States' Mojave Desert. + Ignore, brainstorming - Close brainstorming a 1950's dessert enriched with radium that turns people who eat it into mutants

but jell-o salad already exists

a bunch of townsfolk with Mutant Mouths

and then one dude with like, a japanese Iron Man penis

If you're going to do anomalous foodstuffs, then it should be a more synthetic '50s product

Relating to additives or something

Like "Real Bananas!" the totally banana-inspired plastic-derived Foodlike Substance

rating: 0 + x ██████████ Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: The film reels containing SCP-XXXX are stored in the Site-42 Archival Media Wing. This document is maintained by a program script which continually copies all text in this document into a new file with the same name and overwrites it into the previous file's location in 200-second intervals. Testing with SCP-XXXX has been discontinued at this time; surveillance of the Walt Disney Company legal department is ongoing to ascertain their current awareness of and connections to SCP-XXXX. Description: SCP-XXXX is a 49-minute animated film titled "Ricky Rodent's Great Train Adventure" that possesses potent antimemetic and cognitohazardous qualities. Individuals who stop thinking about SCP-XXXX for more than five minutes immediately forget all information about it. All methods of memory retainment (including Class-Z mnestics) have proven ineffective at helping test subjects retain information about SCP-XXXX. Information recorded about SCP-XXXX in any medium rapidly degrades over the course of five minutes (i.e. paper material disintegrates and digital media becomes irrecoverably corrupted). The only storage medium for SCP-XXXX that has not degraded is the set of its original film reels. Viewers of SCP-XXXX will become increasingly uncomfortable, distracted, and agitated as the film progresses. Initial reactions involve increasingly disparaging comparisons to the Disney character Mickey Mouse and assertions that SCP-XXXX is a poorly created imitation of Disney cartoons. Individuals forced to watch SCP-XXXX for more than 25 minutes express anxiety and paranoia centered around the ideas that SCP-XXXX has been illegally acquired and that they will soon be arrested for viewing it. Watching the entire film results in rapid, aggressive neurodegeneration consistent with the late stages of diseases such as Alzheimer's, Huntington's, and classic Creutzfeldt–Jakob. SCP-XXXX's original film reels were retrieved from the home of [REDACTED] in Ojai, California. Accounting bills recovered alongside the reels suggest that the film received international distribution; furthermore, a cease-and-desist letter from Walt Disney Studios was recovered claiming that the film was a violation of its copyright and demanding that [REDACTED]'s animation studio stop producing and selling copies of the film under pain of further litigation. No additional copies of SCP-XXXX or records of its existence have been located. + Level 3 Clearance Required - Clearance Accepted SCP-XXXX contains numerous memetic triggers and audiovisual anomalies within the piece designed to increase the viewer's suggestibility to hypnotic techniques and demagoguery and diminish their critical thinking skills. Most of them appear to be prototype variants of those found in SCP-1425. However, all of the neuroprogramming triggers in the film are wholly nonfunctional, despite being theoretically sound. Furthermore, none are actually capable of causing SCP-XXXX's anomalous effects. In order to determine how SCP-XXXX interacts with the human psyche, a D-Class subject was induced to watch SCP-XXXX in its entirety, while Agent John Jordan of Mobile Task Force Lambda-9 ("Mind over Matter") mentally probed the subject's subconscious. The test was overseen by Senior Researcher Sanjay Dupreeh and Junior Researcher Tanya McKracken. Time D-Class Description Jordan Description 0:05 "Oh, that must be Ricky Rodent. He's standing in a train station." "I'm seeing… Disney Land? Disney World? Magic Kingdom, I think. The castle's there. Looks normal enough." 0:09 "Ricky's trying to get something from a vending machine. Someone's watching him. That must be Rita Rodentress." "I'm in the park now. It's flat emptiness — nobody's here, there's not even any attractions. I'm seeing the buildings now — they're all fake. All cardboard cutouts, covered in… something. I'll try to get closer.." 0:14 "The train pulled away without Ricky! He's trying to catch up to it, but his shoelaces are untied. He's tripped! Bit derivative of Mickey Mouse, isn't it?" "From afar I'm seeing Disney propaganda, but when I get close I'm seeing the Mickey Mouse logo. Something's off here. It's as if the logo's plastered over all the Disney stuff, preventing it from activating. Not Disney but, when I try to recall the name it's like my brain keeps putting Disney into the space." 0:19 "Ricky found a little pump train cart. You know, the one you pump up and down to move? He's on the rails now trying to catch up. Pretty sure I saw this in a Goofy cartoon already though." "Dammit, I feel like I lost a sneeze. I keep thinking of a starfish or a star symbol or something but all I see are fake buildings and plastered logos. The castle looks real though. I'm going to try to move there." 0:25 "Ricky almost caught up but he accidentally swung onto the wrong track. Sheesh, did these guys rip everything off Disney?" "There's constell — constell — constellationssmokearchons in the periphery of my mind but when I focus all I can think of is Disney. Its like his subconscious — and mine — is throwing a giant Disney-shaped blanket on top of his brain." 0:30 "The bandit's threatening to throw Rita off the train. Listen, can I stop watching? It's clearly just a Disney bootleg." "Wait, something's happening. The buildings are… squirming. Like something sharp and pointed wriggling around inside of them." 0:31 "Rita threw a banana — Look, I'm not comfortable watching this. I'd rather watch a Disney movie." "Rats! Everything's full of rats. Real rats! They're all deflating, peeling open, there's pipes inside everything and rats are flooding out. I can't see the ground anymore, there's just rats everywhere!" 0:32 "I'm not doing this anymore. Can you please get someone else to watch? We shouldn't be watching a pirated video." "The rats are biting me! I'm running now. Everything's coming apart around me but the castle is still there. I'm running to the castle." 0:34 "How did you guys even get this movie? Turn it off. Christ, I feel like you're going to lock me up again?" "There's an open door in the castle. I'm going inside. It's dark, hot and humid and there's rumbling. But the rats have gone. I can't feel them biting me." 0:38 "Ah, headache… there's something seriously wrong about this movie. I can't stop thinking that the police are going to get me. You fucks are the police!" "Christ. This isn't a castle, it's something wearing a castle. There's machines everywhere, gears and levers and pipes all rattling and rumbling. I'm on a catwalk of some kind, I can't see the bottom. Everything's furry, almost squishy. Like I'm in some kind of surreal animal? I'm going to keep moving." 0:40 "Now my jaw hurts. Is this even the movie? Did you fucks put something in my food?" "I can't see a thing. I'm running my hand along the pipes to navigate. The texture is off. It's furry on the outside, a little hairy, like a rat. But there are patches of rough rubberyness. Like a… like, a starfish? Like a starfish. Starfish patches everywhere, but when I touch any of them fur and hair starts growing on them." 0:43 "My head is fucking killing me. Turn the movie off, Dupreeh. Turn it off right now or I will beat your fucking head in!" "The rumbling is getting louder. Christ, the smell is awful. Like moldy wet fur. My nose is burning, dunno if it's the heat or the stink. There's something else too. Squeaking, I think. Something very big squeaking. I bet it's a giant rat." 0:47 At this point, the D-Class fell unconscious. "I think I'm at the center. There's light here. The catwalk's running around a giant pit — no, a hopper. Looks like a sausage machine hopper. There's something black falling in. Like a long, black string - Holy Christ!" At the 49-minute mark, Agent Jordan triggered instant extrication from the mind of the D-Class. At the same time, the D-Class developed the expected brain damage. When asked to elaborate on the final moments of the excursion, Agent Jordan offered the following description: I was standing on the catwalk surrounding this giant hopper. I could see underneath that the hopper fed into a large machine, like it was making sausages. Below that, I could barely make out pipes coming out from the machine. They all went off into the darkness. At a guess, the same ones feeding the fake buildings outside. Some kind of black liquid was falling into the machine. I looked up and I saw a giant starfish, strung up above it. Even though I couldn't name it, I recognized the thing immediately. And it was the biggest meme I'd ever seen. The mental size of that thing made Star Signals look amateurish. But it was restrained. It was strung up by what looked like paper-mache and it was bouncing on the string. The thing was ted But it wasn't bouncing. It was being bounced. On top of it, there was this, this giant black rat with Mickey's face and it was… it was face-fucking the starfish. That's the only word that comes to mind, I'm sorry. Its mouth, its stomach? Christ, he was like a dolphin, this hyper-realistic Mickey Mouse just on top of the starfish fucking the hole in the middle. And the black liquid, it was oozing from the starfish's limbs and into the machine. And then I was bounced out of the dream. I didn't extricate myself. Something else expelled me from the D's subconscious. I was busy being paralyzed by Mickey mid-coitus. What kind of metaphor was that? I can't stop thinking about the fucking thing. I'd like to request a Class-C amnestic please. Something to erase the last two hours of my life. In light of this excursion, testing with SCP-XXXX has been discontinued. Further containment efforts are to be directed towards the legal department of the Walt Disney company and surveillance of any anomalous undertakings therein. + Brainstorming - Hide brainstorming •ARD> Hippo: got an idea earlier today about a sequel to 3640

8:09 PM <•ARD> okay so

8:09 PM <•ARD> mickey mouse is a household name in cartoons, right

8:09 PM <•ARD> well who the fuck were his competitors? surely there would have been some people who tried to parody mickey or rip him off

8:09 PM <•ARD> well, they're gone

8:10 PM <•ARD> because the walt disney L E G A L corporation performed certain acts under the guidance of one Starfish, J.D. to wipe them all from human memory

8:12 PM <Hippo> ARD: the idea of disney's legal department engaging in anti-memetic copyright hijinks (or just wiping out competitors) is a pretty great one yeah

8:14 PM <•ARD> i'm still thinking about how to frame this

8:15 PM <•ARD> the skip would either be a ritual

8:15 PM <•ARD> or a film about a mouse

8:15 PM <•ARD> like "ricky the rat" or something

8:15 PM <•ARD> and people who watch ricky the rat get increasingly uncomfortable with it

8:15 PM <Hippo> hahaha

8:15 PM <•ARD> they can't say why

8:15 PM <Hippo> the seven strangers at a feast of micky mouse knock-off cartoons

8:15 PM <•ARD> in fact, they say that "ricky the rat" is even better than mickey mouse

8:15 PM <•ARD> but they don't like it

8:15 PM <•ARD> because they say it's clearly a mickey knockoff

8:16 PM <•ARD> even though ricky the rat predates mickey

8:17 PM <•ARD> I’m thinking of tying in Psionics Division and your monster shaped hole

8:17 PM <•ARD> People who watch Ricky the rat are super uncomfortable with it

8:17 PM <•ARD> Then they forget it almost immediately

8:17 PM <•ARD> Even when given mnestics

8:17 PM <Hippo> the monster shaped hole? in what sen—*oh*, right

8:17 PM <•ARD> Psionics Division decides to poke around their brain

8:17 PM <Hippo> (I thought you didn't like that one? Not that I mind, I love finding ways to tie things together regardless!)

8:17 PM <•ARD> And there’s a mickey-shaped hole where Ricky should be

8:17 PM <Hippo> haha

8:18 PM <•ARD> Hippo: I mean I don’t but I think it’s worth tying in

8:18 PM <•ARD> I’m a big fan of crosslinks that are planned and make thematic sense

8:18 PM <•ARD> It’s why I mention 280)

8:18 PM <•ARD> 2805

8:18 PM <•ARD> It’s literally THE HEAD OF WALT DISNEY

8:18 PM <Hippo> hahaha, god

8:18 PM <Hippo> metaphysician's skip about the factory

8:18 PM <Hippo> except it's disney-world

8:18 PM <Hippo> and walt disney's head is running the show

8:19 PM <•ARD> Disney Imagineering - the next new GOI

8:19 PM <•ARD> Let’s make it happen

8:19 PM <Hippo> but also yeah I could see that being interesting — I think, like — antimemetics seems like the obvious angle — the angle I would go for/investigate/examine would be more the idea of erasing them retroactively from existence

8:20 PM <Hippo> not that the antimemetics angle/psionics angle is *bad* that has a lot of potential

8:20 PM <•ARD> The main reason I’m not keen on doing that is because I like the idea of Disney always trying to maintain an *image*

8:20 PM <•ARD> Everything they do is designed to trick people

8:20 PM <•ARD> The Utilidors, the costumes, etc

8:21 PM <Hippo> but like, I immediately imagine a Cragglewood Park kind of deal; this cartoon or amusement park or mascot people remember, but doesn't seem to exist

8:21 PM <•ARD> Tbh that’s another reason to not pursue that angle

8:21 PM <•ARD> Cragglewood Park comparisons

8:21 PM <Hippo> Fair enough yeah, there are plenty of things already that are, like

8:21 PM <Hippo> "TV show that people talk about but doesn't seem to exist", ie weryllium's thing too

8:21 PM <•ARD> Plus retrocausal removal is stupidly common on the site

8:22 PM <•ARD> I think it’s much more interesting from a story perspective for Disney to have implemented censorship on the brain

8:22 PM <Hippo> is it? Fair enough! It might just be something *I* haven't encountered v. often (but that could just be a recent thing, too)

8:22 PM <Hippo> through their cartoons, maybe? What's the progression here? What are the core motifs?

Motif 1: The industrialization of happiness

Motif 2: The rat butchering the starfish

Motif 3: Fake knockoffs

rating: 0 + x Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: At this time, the entire known population of SCP-XXXX is contained on-site beneath the Luskil House as per the Posadas-Luthor Treaty. Per the Treaty, they are not expected to re-emerge until 2154. As a contingency measure, the walls of the Luskil House are to be lined with radium-226 to provide false radioactivity readings within the house. Public access to the house has been prevented under the premise that it is located on top of a naturally occurring radon pocket. The town of ██████ is to remain under surveillance for any incidents or reports of 'mole men' or similar. A detachment of Mobile Task Force Lambda-12 ("Pest Control") personnel are to remain on permanent watch in ██████ to track down and eliminate stray instances of SCP-XXXX with extreme prejudice. Description: SCP-XXXX refers to an anomalous subspecies of human tentatively classified as Homo sapiens condylura, which possesses multiple genotypical and phenotypical similarities to the common star-nosed mole (Condylura cristata). The most obvious similarities are the presence of Eimer's organs around the face; other traits distinguishing them from Homo sapiens sapiens include severe depigmentation and longer, thinner appendages and digits optimized for burrowing and digging. All known instances of SCP-XXXX consider themselves citizens of a nation-state known as the Posadist Republic of New Oklahoma, an underground colony inhabiting a large cave system underneath Luskil House in ██████, Oklahoma that adheres to the principles of Posadism . SCP-XXXX possesses a general level of technological development on par with late-20th-century baseline but a capacity for genetic engineering on par with present time. The SCP-XXXX population relies primarily on genetic engineering and in-vitro fertilization to maintain their population, though they indicate that it is a cultural norm rather than a biological defect. According to SCP-XXXX, their society was founded by Mary Luskil, a highly skilled geneticist and the wife of a local oil magnate. Although Luskil's husband funded her research, she failed to receive recognition for her work due to her gender; this, in conjunction with a trip to Latin America in 1965 where she met J. Posadas, led to her radicalization and association with the Fourth International Posadist. In public life, Luskil was known as a recluse and housewife. In 1971, Luskil's husband died of a heart attack and left her his fortune, which was rapidly consumed by numerous construction projects of an unknown nature in and around the Luskil House. Mary Luskil disappeared some time after July 16, 1975, when a false ballistic missile alert was mistakenly triggered in ██████. It is theorized that Luskil used the inheritance to fund the construction of the complex underneath the Luskil House that would eventually become the site of the Posadist Republic, and went underground during the siren malfunction under the belief that it was the beginning of a nuclear war. It is known that Luskil labored in her underground complex for the next decade, genetically engineering SCP-XXXX and developing a political manifesto based on the works of Posadas, until her death in 2000 from a cave-in during the construction of a tunnel to be used for waste disposal. Addendum: Discovery SCP-XXXX was first discovered by Mobile Task Force Lambda-12 ("Pest Control") on 20 July, 2028 after receiving reports of enormous burrows appearing near the Luskil House, which were thought to be tied to an SCP-2810 infestation of prairie dogs in the town. The team encountered a scouting party of SCP-XXXX instances within the house and established first contact protocols, after which a series of negotiations and interviews were conducted to determine the size, purpose, and origin of SCP-XXXX. PARTICIPANTS: Albert Luthor, Representative of the Foundation

Joseph Luskil VI, Lead, Scouting Party for the Posadist Republic of New Oklahoma [BEGIN LOG] Luthor: Mr. Luskil, welcome to the surface world. My name is Albert Luthor. I represent the foundation tasked with maintaining world normalcy and which claims eminent domain over the land on which the Luskil House sits. Please, call me Albert. Joseph: Thank you, Albert. Joseph Luskil the Fourth, but you can call me Joseph. I represent the Posadist Republic of New Oklahoma. Luthor: Thanks very much, Joseph. So, to business. As you might imagine, we were all rather surprised to find a colony of, ah… Joseph: Mole men? Luthor: I was going to say Posadists. Ahem, let me try again. Er, as you might imagine, my government was rather surprised to discover that a colony of Posadists had been living under ██████ for the last fifty years. Joseph: We're surprised that Oklahoma still exists. We were certain that it had been flattened by the bombs. Still, it's recovered quite nicely. I must say I'm impressed, though I thought for sure you'd have renamed it at the very least. Luthor: Sorry, could you repeat that? The bombs? Joseph: Yes, the one that hit in seventy-five. Luthor: Are you referring to a tornado of some sort? Joseph: No, the nuclear bombs! 1975, correct? Out of nowhere, the USSR launches pre-emptive nuclear strikes against various locations in the United States, thus triggering nuclear war? ██████ was one of the first places to be hit? Luthor: Nuclear — ah, yes. Joseph, would you give me a moment? I need to confirm something. Luthor confirms the date of Luskil's disappearance on his computer. Joseph gestures towards the machine. Joseph: I must say, that's a sleek-looking piece of technology you have there. What is it? Luthor: Oh, this? My laptop. It's a portable computer. Anyways — Joseph: Portable? Fascinating. You must give me one of those, it's remarkable that you were able to salvage so much technology from the war. Luthor: Well, Joseph, that's the thing. There was no war. According to historical records, Mrs. Luskil went missing in 1975 the day after the town's emergency alarm system malfunctioned and activated on accident. It sounds like she thought it was a real alarm and went underground. Joseph starts. Joseph: It was a false alarm? The Founder's Exodus was a false alarm? Luthor: Yes. Joseph: And capitalism. It's still around? Luthor: The Soviet Union collapsed over forty years ago. There are very few socialist states still in existence. Joseph: Oh. Oh no. No no no no. You must be — you must be lying. Luthor: Unfortunately not. This computer was designed by a private company. I can show you some news articles if you'd like more proof. Joseph: Propaganda, you mean. Luthor: No, we're long past that. Here, give me a second… Luthor signs out of his Foundation account and logs back into the laptop using a safe account without Foundation access. He opens up Internet Explorer.

Luthor: Here, you can browse the Internet if you'd like. That little pad at the bottom of the keyboard is a touchpad. It moves the cursor on the screen. You can select options by moving the cursor and then clicking the button — clicking the left button — above the touchpad. Just type in whatever you want to search for into this bar here and then press ENTER. I suggest starting with the Cold War and the Berlin Wall. Luthor waits while Joseph browses the Internet for several minutes. Joseph: I admit, this is impressive. This is very impressive. How long have you been planning this? It must have taken months to assemble all of this. Luthor: Well, we only discovered you exist this morning. I flew into Oklahoma on a red-eye. Joseph: Flew? A red-eye? Luthor: Ah, it means a late night flight. Like I said, this was all very last-minute. Joseph: No it wasn't, no it wasn't. You can't lie to me. I don't know why you would or what the purpose of this charade is, but you must be lying to me. Ah! I know. Let me guess, this is one of the last places capitalism survives, isn't it? Don't lie to me, Albert. Socialism triumphed — it had to! It had to! Luthor: Would you like a pizza? Joseph: A wh — a pizza? Why a pizza? Luthor: Well, Joseph, if I'm being entirely honest — you aren't the first doomsday preppers I've seen who went underground for fifty years because of a smoke alarm or something. Tell you the truth, you're the third one this year. And they all seem to give up the ghost as soon as they discover pizza. Funny story, actually, I was in Japan a couple months ago because Aum Shinrikyo — oh, wait, they were after your time — because a few Japanese cult members had been hiding in the Tokyo subway since the nineties — Joseph: What's your point? Luthor: Ah, sorry. I tend to ramble. Anyways, my point is that the world didn't end, we kept on ticking, capitalism is king, and part of my job is to prove it to you so that you don't rise up and try to overthrow some small town or sacrifice some startled tourists because we live in a civilized society. I can get you quite literally any material good on this Earth to prove it to you. But for some reason, it's always the pizza that does it for people. Luthor takes out his phone. Luthor: This is a smartphone. It's a phone, a calculator, a computer, a radio, a library, and really whatever else you can think of. Designed and manufactured by a private company. So! What toppings would you like on your pizza? Joseph: … Chicken, tomato, parmesan, mushrooms, and green peppers. Luthor: Good choices! Why those ones specifically? Joseph: The Founder described those in her biography. Said she was never able to get the taste quite right. Luthor: Fair enough. I myself prefer margherita. Why don't you keep browsing the Web while I order? Luthor orders a pizza and soda for pickup and dispatches an agent to bring the pizza. Luthor: You know, there's an old television ad from the '90s this reminds me of. Have you ever heard of Pizza Hut? Joseph: No. Luthor: They're a popular pizza chain — again, run by a private company. Joseph: I get it, I get it. Private company, private company. You don't have to keep repeating it. Luthor: Sorry! Anyways, in the 1990s Pizza Hut put together an advertisement for their pizzas starring Gorbachev. Joseph: [making air-quotes] Ah, yes, the 'General Secretary'. You know, that's one of the things that tipped me off. Miss Luskil wrote about him, you know. He never made it past secretary of the Stavropol region. Luthor: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Joseph, but truth is stranger than fiction. Gorbachev indeed made it to the top of the Kremlin. Anyways, back to my story — the advertisement. It's quite funny, really, in an ironic sense. Here, let me play it. Could I see my laptop? Joseph passes the laptop to Luthor. He searches for and plays the aforementioned Pizza Hut advertisement. Joseph:… How — grotesque. How absolutely, utterly despicably angrily grotesque! Mister Luthor, I have contained my rage and played along with your charade and let you try to sweet talk me but this is just absolutely beyond the pale! It's infuriating! Sacrilegious! It's a mockery of every principle that I hold dear and I will not be — An agent enters the room with the pizza and a bottle of Coca-Cola. Luthor: Ah! The pizza's here. I prefer smaller independent chains to Pizza Hut, but it'll do. [to the agent] Do you have any red pepper? Ah, thank you. Here, Joseph, have a slice. Want some Coke? Joseph and Luthor eat in silence. Luthor: You've been quiet for a while. Is everything alright? Joseph: Oh. Oh yes, everything is fine. The surface world has been struggling under capitalism for seventy years and the founder of my society was a crackpot and she made us underground mole people but everything is fine! Luthor: How's the pizza? Joseph: … Delicious. Luthor: See? Pizza makes everything better. Joseph: Pizza makes — the pizza makes — the pizza tastes great but what under Earth am I going to tell my comrades? Luthor: Don't tell them anything. Joseph, what have you told your pe - your comrades about our diplomatic meeting? Joseph: We haven't. This was supposed to be a reconnaissance mission to measure surface radiation levels - only myself and my comrades in the scouting party know about this. Luthor: Then let's keep it that way. Joseph, here's the way I see it. Nothing good can come of your society discovering that the bedrock of its ideology is a lie. It would tear you apart. Furthermore, the survivors would probably end up on the surface and then we'd have to step in and capture the lot of you. But that would be a lot of time and effort wasted. So here's a better idea - one that will keep both your comrades and my superiors happy. Joseph: I'm listening. Per the terms of the Posadas-Luthor Treaty, a small contingent of SCP-XXXX instances are to be informed of the true nature of current human society. These instances in turn will propagate the idea to the rest of the Posadist Republic that the Earth is still contaminated by nuclear radiation. as the result of automated defense systems periodically launching nuclear missiles, and will require 93 more years to decontaminate. To support this idea, the Luskil House has been designated as the official emergence point for SCP-XXXX and has had its walls lined with radioactive material. Addendum: Manifesto of Subterra Posadas: The New Age of Man We are preparing ourselves for a stage in which before the atomic war we shall struggle for power, during the atomic war we shall struggle for power, and after we shall be in power. There is no beginning - there is only an end to atomic war, because atomic war is simultaneous revolution in the whole world, not as a chain reaction, simultaneous. Simultaneous doesn't mean the same day and the same hour. Great historic events should not be measured by hours or days, but by periods. The working class will maintain itself, [and] will immediately have to seek its cohesion and centralisation. After destruction commences, the masses are going to emerge in all countries – in a short time, in a few hours. Capitalism cannot defend itself in an atomic war except by putting itself in caves and attempting to destroy all that it can. The masses, in contrast, are going to come out, will have to come out, because it is the only way to survive, defeating the enemy. It will be necessary to organise the workers' power immediately. The apparatus of capitalism, police, army, will not be able to resist. Nuclear war is revolutionary war. It will damage humanity but it will not – it cannot – destroy the level of consciousness reached by it. Humanity will pass quickly through a nuclear war into a new human society – Socialism. Yet even Socialism is not immune to the ravages of nuclear fire. The socialist seeks the ascendance of humanity, but she must first undergo the trials of descent. She must hide herself in the bosom of the Earth for untold generations, but she is not a subsurface dweller. She seeks fallout shelters and canned rations, when she should look to nature. Mother Gaia provides for her children - we need only adopt her ways. Thus do we look to the star-nosed mole. The star-nosed mole provides all the answers; it is fully adapted to the rigors of underground life, with a grace and beauty honed to perfection by terra firma. It knows not competition, only cooperation. It is not fettered to the yoke of capitalism, but digs for its own betterment. So too must we turn towards and into the star-nosed mole. It will be necessary to shepherd a new race of Man, to safeguard the knowledge and dignity of cooperation, until such time as the nuclear fires have subsided and the apparatuses of capitalism have consumed themselves in the conflagration. Be blessed, you Mole Men, for you are the meek that shall inherit the earth. brainstorming: Meet Mary Luskil. Brilliant geneticist but a married housewife. Her husband is fucking rich and he bankrolls her work but nobody pays her any attention because she's a woman. Luskil meets and becomes enamored with Posadist ideology. Nuclear war is imminent, so she works to develop a race of humans who will live underground until the world is not irradiated. Her husband dies and leaves her all his money - she uses it to build an enormous underground tunnel complex below her mansion. 1968: the alarm sirens go off. Nuclear war is imminent! Mary immediately retreats into her underground complex. Five minutes later, the authorities come by and say "sorry y'all false alarm haha!" Mary toils underground, perfecting and raising her mole men and indoctrinating them into Posadist ideology. •Bleepandroid> ARD have them equipped with Fallout-esque tech and you have the perfect article. Fifty years later, the Foundation accidentally discovers the mole men society while checking out claims that the Luskil mansion is haunted. The diplomat mole men are baffled to discover that nuclear war never happened and capitalism is still kicking. This is a big blow to them so they decide to tell the rest of their civilization that there are automated defense systems that keep launching nukes so that the mole people have to stay underground for an indefinite time. Need to insert Mole Manifesto where the geneticist explains that nuclear war has occurred and the mole men will carry socialism into the future and that for now mankind must live in the darkness rather than die in the light. ch00bakka> i'll be honest, the article just seems bland?

5:09 PM <ch00bakka> the manifesto is pretty predictable, the interview log leans way to heavily on "lol capitalism won"

5:10 PM <ch00bakka> it seems like mole-boy both sticks it out with "oh you're hoaxing me" for too long AND gives up too quickly somehow

5:10 PM <•ARD> the intent was for mole-boy to give up as a result of eating the pizza. it was just too good to resist

5:11 PM <ch00bakka> see, that just doesn't come across, i guess?

5:11 PM <ch00bakka> like it seems like the pizza comes and that just happens to be the point at which he gives up

5:11 PM <ch00bakka> because he doesn't mention the pizza

5:11 PM <•ARD> Ohhh, good catch

5:14 PM <ch00bakka> idk i feel like "oh jeez my underground bunker life is a lie" is like overdone? as a general trope

5:15 PM <ch00bakka> i guess mainly my problem is people being tricked into staying in their hole is boring

5:15 PM <ch00bakka> like that's the first mission of fallout 3 TyGently> ARD: I like it in general but the interview feels a bit too unbelievable and the ending is bad

5:28 PM <TyGently> I also feel what ch00 brought up in the other channel about it, about it being too "lol capitalism won" and relying too heavily on bunker life being a lie and just re-selling that lie for the next generation

•TyGently> ARD: I have another idea if you're interested in a full rework route (although I don't think it necessarily needs it)

•TyGently> so, same setup, but when contact is made the Foundation is prepared with a kickass disinformation plan 10:34 PM <•TyGently> they approach the mole people and say "so, we're the post-apocalyptic survivors" •TyGently> so, same setup, but when contact is made the Foundation is prepared with a kickass disinformation plan

10:34 PM <•TyGently> they approach the mole people and say "so, we're the post-apocalyptic survivors"

10:35 PM <•TyGently> "we're good workers of the world, but there are still pockets of capitalist scum and the war still rages despite the initial exchanges"

10:36 PM <•TyGently> "we lack your guidance and advanced technology, oh star-nosed ones, but we think we could use your help to combat the capitalist scum's weaponry and win the war for good"

•TyGently> then they send the moles doctored footage and phony schematics that are nonetheless convincing by their technological standards

•TyGently> then they send the moles doctored footage and phony schematics that are nonetheless convincing by their technological standards

10:37 PM <•TyGently> and about half of the moles are okay with this and get to work

10:37 PM <•TyGently> but the foundation knows their one, fatal flaw — they're trotskyists

10:38 PM <•TyGently> so the other half of the moles is distraught that the nuclear war didn't go exactly according to their ideology and discards the foundation as liberal revisionism

10:38 PM <•TyGently> this results in a profound split in their society that, while not coming to blows, is so incredibly inefficient and passive aggressive that the entire society essentially faffs around instead of doing anything especially productive

10:40 PM <•TyGently> molerats: contained 10:40 PM <•TyGently> left wing: destroyed Lazar> I agree with ch00bakka for the most part

10:14 PM <Lazar> it's SCP bread and butter — but not like, particularly striking in any way

10:17 PM <Lazar> There's not really any twist

Lazar> the interview is written fine, but the content just isn't any more than average — it feels like filler rather than the climax/discovery

10:27 PM <Lazar> playing up the fact that the past 60 years of transition to mole-people, with all its pain and suffering, was the result of a false alarm is absurd tragedy

Lazar> If you want pure absurdity, I think you really need to ramp up the off-the-wall bonkers stuff

10:30 PM <Lazar> Like maybe they're having a mini cold war down there

10:30 PM <Lazar> whereas ours finished in 1991, theirs has kept going

10:32 PM <Lazar> and then you have the Foundation having to moderate mole people carciatures of posadists vs. some like, Nozick-style libertarians

rating: 0 + x ██████████ Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: At this time, all information regarding SCP-XXXX must be considered secondhand from the archives of GOI-616 "Pentagram". There is no indication that SCP-XXXX exists in the wild, nor that it has been reactivated as an internal Pentagram project. The Foundation is currently attempting to negotiate with the United States of America for the release of certain classified files within their archives for more information on SCP-XXXX. Description: SCP-XXXX was an artificial cognitohazard being developed by GOI-616 "Pentagram" as part of their ongoing research initiatives into memetic and informational warfare from 2006 to 2019. When applied to a human being, SCP-XXXX would prevent human beings who became aware of the applicant from ascribing political or ideological motivations to the applicant and instead induce them to assume that the applicant was afflicted by mental illness. As a tool, SCP-XXXX's intended usage was to enable United States military and government actors to carry out assassinations and killings with minimal repercussions or connections to the United States themselves. Acquired documentation on the project indicates that the cognitohazard's various methods of action, including neural pathway stimulation, emotional response induction, bias amplification, and altered memory fixation, were based on research into media coverage, political debate, and shifting public opinions of gun control, gun violence, terrorism, and mass shooting cases within the United States. Documentation secured from Pentagram archives indicates that the project was mothballed after two years, when it failed abjectly during three attempted Pentagram assassinations of high-ranking ORIA members in Iran and Saudi Arabia, despite seemingly working flawlessly in its initial two test cases in the United States. Notably, the details of these tests in the United States correspond to isolated shooting incidents at Foundation front companies [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]. In both incidents, the perpetrator was a middle-aged white male who used a semi-automatic rifle to kill several other employees at the company before being taken into custody. Neither investigation into each incident found any trace of cognitohazards or memetic agents, and both investigations concluded that the perpetrators were motivated solely by stress, conflict with other employees, and other mental issues. In light of the documents recovered from the Pentagram, these investigations have been reopened.

A series of anomalous videos that appear online, depicting people being followed by an unseen cameraman at foot-level who occasionally touches their feet, examines them closely, etc

(video-tapes them while they're sleeping)

Upon watching the video, you start to perceive sensations as though someone is following you at foot-level

Touching your feet, crawling behind you, breathing on your feet

After like, two days, upon climbing into bed, your feet are sliced off at the ankles

and then either you or your feet are dragged under the bed to never be seen again

Later, a video appears online showing you being followed at foot level and ending with your body being sliced and dragged under the bed

With the same effect on viewers

After like, twenty years of this happening and the Foundation throwing up their hands, a final video comes up, entitled 'walkin through the garden'

and it's a walkthrough of the gallery, with lotuses made up of butchered corpses

and feet in the center of them

and the unseen narrator points to specific, recognizable feet

so that we know this stuff was really happening

just one foot is, with a tattoo, i would say

i wouldn't butcher tons of d-class with this

i would only feature one d-class in the article, getting stalked/killed

Jean-Jacques Perrey is playing in the background of the final video — but only the final video

Original author: Atticus Birkett

rating: 0 + x Item: SCP-4553 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures:

SCP 4553 is meant to be observed from a

5-foot distance hung on a wall. It should not have any other object, animate or inanimate, inside its containment cell without supervision and at least two guards on duty. It should be kept at approximately 5.4 feet off the ground at all times. A constant light source should be kept on SCP 4553 outside of testing. Description: SCP 4553 Is a taxidermied deer’s anus with a wolf’s eyes, mouth, and fangs that have been sewn onto it. While 4553 is not inherently dangerous while in company with others, once eye contact with 4553 is lost, all animate and inanimate objects within the same room as 4553 have a wolf’s eyes, mouth, and fangs taxidermied onto either their face, if they had one prior to incident, or directly on the (non-humanoid) subject’s front. All subjects victim to this incident become hostile and use their new features to try and attack anyone they come in contact with, this instance is referred to 4553-2. 4553 should under no circumstance come into physical contact with any animate beings. Those that do are to be disposed of through lacerations applied to the facial region until the subject has expired. Further research of 4553 finds that prolonged exposure to 4335 causes subjects to state discomfort that slowly leads to depression and with longer exposure- attempted suicide. One subject, D-████, became so depressed she intentionally put herself into contact with 4335 knowing she would become an instance of 4553-2 and be disposed of. Further tests of this kind have been permanently banned. Addendum: Due to 4553's comical appearance, staff assigned to 4553 have adopted it the nickname of A██Wolf. While heavily unencouraged by the foundation, they are permitted usage of this nickname. While 4553 affects both human, non-human, and inanimate subjects, SCP 4553 will not affect other SCP’s both animate or inanimate. While 4553 has been shown to cause extreme discomfort and depression amongst subjects with prolonged exposure, in brief exposure, subjects state giddiness and joy, most likely prompted my 4553’s appearance. But even after separation from 4553, subjects start to feel discomfort and depression at the same rate as if they had stayed in the room with 4553. This seems to be prompted by some sort of “realization”, further investigation is required.

rating: 0 + x ██████████ Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is contained within a standard humanoid containment cell in the Site-42 Low-Threat Wing. SCP-XXXX is currently scheduled for biweekly sessions with a therapist (currently Adileh Khayyam) to treat its excoriation disorder. As part of this treatment, SCP-XXXX has been allotted weekly extraction sessions: during these sessions, the on-duty dermatologist and plastic surgeon will extract the ripened comedones from SCP-XXXX's skin following the procedure outlined in Document XXXX-1. Personnel interacting with SCP-XXXX are encouraged to avoid skin contact. Description: [Paragraphs explaining the description] Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs] + Show whatever - Hide whatever Whatever text to show/hide.

rating: 0 + x WELCOME TO SCiPNET DIRECT ACCESS TERMINAL. PLEASE ENTER COMMAND ssh pcs.noitadnuof|nnyzok#pcs.noitadnuof|nnyzok DoomedKvasirSturlusonChronicled USER NAME: Nicholas Kozynski

TITLE: Director, Area-67

AUTHENTICATION ACCEPTED. PLEASE ENTER COMMAND access XXXX -r -m 3 DISPLAYING SCP-XXXX, MAJOR REVISIONS ONLY, CLEARANCE LEVEL 3 Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is contained at Provisional Area-67 in the Australian Outback. SCP-XXXX and at least one psionic operator must be connected to the DESCARTES Model 1 Virtual Reality Simulator (VR) at all times; both parties are to be monitored by medical staff to ensure that they remain healthy and SCP-XXXX remains comatose. The VR should be monitored at all times by at least one Level 3 technician trained to operate it, and must be connected to both the Area-67 main reactor and an automatic backup generator that will activate in the event of power failure. For more information, see the DESCARTES Operational Manual. At least two members of Mobile Task Force Lambda-9 ("Mind over Matter") should be stationed onsite to execute the Drainage Protocol at all times and rotated in on six-month shifts; at the end of each shift, the Lambda-9 members are to be treated with the 110-Montauk Personnel course of amnestics . + About DESCARTES and the Drainage Protocol - Level 3 Access Granted DESCARTES is a prototype virtual reality simulator based off of research into [REDACTED] that was being developed by the late Waldo Schaeffer. When a patient is connected to DESCARTES, it generates a virtual reality and stimulates the patient's brain to perceive it as real life without any cognizance of their actual life. At the same time, an operator with psionic capabilities can connect to DESCARTES and, aided by the machine, analyze and modify the patient's brain to parse, extract, erase, and/or rewrite their memories based on modifiable parameters. . At the conclusion of the session, the operator will then erase the patient's memory of their virtual experience; the operator will retain both their own memory and all memories and emotions extracted from the patient. SCP-XXXX has been placed in a simulation that replicates its own life according to its memories; the simulation necessarily terminates at the point where SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties manifested, at which point it resets from SCP-XXXX's birth. The Drainage Protocol entails having the operator continually parse SCP-XXXX's thoughts for anxieties or obsessive thoughts and then extract them before SCP-XXXX can register them. Although Dr. Schaeffer intended the Drainage Protocol to be only a stopgap measure, his research and notes on neutralizing SCP-XXXX were destroyed in an unrelated containment breach . As a result, and in part because of its effectiveness, the Drainage Protocol has remained the primary containment protocol for SCP-XXXX. However, the Drainage Protocol has severe side-effects on the operators involved, typically manifesting as debilitating anxiety and obsession. Because of the rarity of the operators and the loss in psionic efficacy caused by these side effects, amnestic therapy to remove the memory of their shifts as well as all thoughts associated with said shifts has proven to be more cost-effective than traditional therapy. In the event that the DESCARTES module fails or SCP-XXXX breaks containment regardless, a shaped charge will detonate around SCP-XXXX's head and all surviving members of Psionics Division will perform a sweep of the area to determine whether the meme complex has been neutralized. If not, Overwatch Command is to be notified of an impending EK-Class End-of-Consciousness Scenario. Description: SCP-XXXX refers to one █████ ██████, a former Foundation Researcher attached to the Psionics Division. Aside from muscular atrophy brought on by its placement in the VR, it is physically non-anomalous. SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties manifest when it becomes anxious or experiences obsessive thoughts. When it enters these emotional states, it unconsciously generates a highly virulent cognitohazard which rapidly propagates into and infects other humans in a given radius with the same obsessive thoughts and anxieties; the radius of this effect increases with every active state SCP-XXXX enters. Left unchecked, infected subjects will lose their capacity for independent thought, consciousness and unconsciousness, and autonomic motor function over the course of several hours. If SCP-XXXX's emotional state returns to baseline, the cognitohazardous effect will cease entirely. Any other means of suppressing this cognitohazard's spread fail entirely, though psionically-capable individuals equipped with orichalcum-based protection are capable of resisting the effect for limited amounts of time. History: Prior to manifesting as an anomaly in 1999, ██████ had suffered from anxiety disorder and obsessive thoughts for several years. Following several unsuccessful treatments, he proposed a radical form of psychotherapy whereupon a member of the Psionics Division would interface with his mind and attempt to quarantine the intrusive thoughts and anxieties. Although the proposal was initially declined, ██████ successfully appealed to have it accepted on the grounds that it would provide greater insights into the field of human-psionic interfacing. On ██/██/1999, Lambda-9 Agent Mako Amari interfaced with SCP-XXXX and attempted to quarantine or otherwise excise its anxieties and intrusive thoughts; both parties reported that the attempt was successful. Over the next several months, the entire research population of Site-122 began experiencing anxieties and obsessive-compulsive tendencies identical to those experiened by SCP-XXXX. Upon the discovery of this occurrence by the Site-122 psychology department, SCP-XXXX's experiment was immediately flagged and it admitted to having experienced a reoccurrence of its anxieties and obsessive thoughts one week after the interfacing. Agent Amari again interfaced with SCP-XXXX to excise its anxiety and obsessions; upon the completion of this procedure, all members of Site-122 reported the disappearance of their own anxieties and obsessive thoughts. In light of its newly discovered anomalous tendencies, SCP-XXXX was placed on leave and transferred to quarantine to Site-44A (Foundation Center for Neurological Disease) for study and potential treatment. Three days after the second interfacing, it reported the recurrence of its anxieties and obsessions; despite being quarantined in an electrum-lined cell, it was able to gradually infect all individuals at Site-44A, as well as the neighboring sites 44B and 44C. A third attempt was made to excise SCP-XXXX's intrusive thoughts and anxieties, this time by Agents Amari, Desmond Lee, and Malcolm Smith simultaneously. Upon completion of the procedure, SCP-XXXX was placed into a medically-induced coma and airlifted to Area-67. One day after its arrival, all staff at Area-67 reported the onset of identical anxieties and obsessive tendencies. Furthermore, over the next week, Foundation webcrawling bots deployed in Australia observed a drastic uptick in Internet searches regarding mental illness and keywords associated with SCP-XXXX's intrusive thoughts. Due to the Foundation's continuing inability to properly contain SCP-XXXX, researchers discussed the option of neutralization. As an alternative, Dr. Waldo Schaeffer proposed using Lambda-9 operators to extract SCP-XXXX's obsessive thoughts as they appeared rather than attempt to excise them altogether. This technique immediately proved successful in mitigating and reversing the effects of the meme complex. However, the extreme difficulty of interacting with the unconscious mind required all members of Lambda-9 to be stationed onsite to take shifts maintaining a connection with SCP-XXXX, monitoring its thoughts, and immediately extracting and absorbing all thoughts associated with anxiety. Dr. Schaeffer proposed using the then-recently-finished DESCARTES prototype to automate the process of maintaining a connection with and monitoring SCP-XXXX's thoughts; implementation of DESCARTES reduced the number of needed Lambda-9 operators onsite to merely two. Analysis of the increasing speed and growth rate of the memetic complex suggest that if the Drainage Protocol were to fail, SCP-XXXX would instigate a complete EK-Class End-of-Consciousness Scenario within seventeen hours. > To: Nicholas Kozynski (pcs.76a|nnyzok#pcs.76a|nnyzok)

> From: Desmond Lee (pcs.oisp|eeldnomsed#pcs.oisp|eeldnomsed)

> Subject: Neutralization Request - SCP-XXXX Hi Dr. Kozynski, Since you're the project lead on SCP-XXXX, I wanted to talk to you about filing a neutralization request form for it. I am genuinely baffled as to why we are spending so much of our resources keeping him alive. He's an absolute drain on Lambda-9 and it's getting increasingly difficult to keep the team together - I just got a report that Agents Langdon Jones and Kaede Watanabe had to be rotated off early. Worse, the psych team says they were still feeling anxious after the amnestics regimen. There's only so many times you can hose down a psychic before their brain starts coming off with the paint. And if XXXX breaks containment one more time we'll have a Broken Masquerade or worse on our hands. Psionics Division has reason to believe that the explosive charge around XXXX's head won't be sufficient; we've been working on the problem and have a few proposals we think are viable. Please email me back as soon as you get this - if you want to look at our proposals I'm more than happy to schedule a meeting to discuss them with you. Thank you,

Desmond Lee

Captain, Mobile Task Force Lambda-9 + Show whatever - Hide whatever Whatever text to show/hide.

rating: 0 + x Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is stored within an opaque locked box in the Site-42 Biological Materials Freezer. The box may only be opened if three people are within the room at the same time, and SCP-XXXX must be handled by no less than three people at any time. SCP-XXXX shown during initial procurement Description: SCP-XXXX is a Cavendish banana cultivar (Musa acuminata) that is almost entirely non-anomalous. The size and shape of SCP-XXXX are consistent with normal standards for a Cavendish banana and it is almost certainly edible. SCP-XXXX has also ripened and begun to rot at a rate considered normal for the Cavendish banana. Any human being alone in a room with SCP-XXXX will experience an acute stress response that intensifies until the victim suffers cardiac arrest. No memetic, cognitohazardous, or otherwise anomalous effects have been detected; in all cases, the response is simply due to an irrational phobia, similar in its effects to nyctophobia, that is seemingly brought on by being alone in a room with SCP-XXXX. The phobia can be neutralized by breaking line-of-sight with the anomaly or coming within line-of-sight with another live human, though victims often fail to do either as a result of fear-induced paralysis. Live and recorded footage of SCP-XXXX is capable of inducing the effect; pictures are not, although some viewers have reported mild uneasiness when looking at them. SCP-XXXX was discovered following the death of one ██████████ ████, a forensics accountant and part-time bookmaker, in Boston, Massachusetts. ████ died in his home from cardiac arrest; when his body was discovered, one of the officers investigating for foul play was apparently left alone in the same room as SCP-XXXX, whereupon he observed the banana and suffered from a heart attack, as did his partner and the officer who bagged the foodstuffs for evidence. This suspicious chain of deaths brought SCP-XXXX to the Foundation's attention, whereupon all objects in the house were secured for transport. SCP-XXXX was subsequently identified due to the stress response and death of the D-Class subject testing it for anomalous properties. Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs] D-26472: Okay, I'm in the - Jesus fuck! D-26472 recoils and takes a step back. Dr. Kontos: What? What's wrong? D-26472: The banana! Fuckin' scared the shit outta me! Dr. Kontos: The banana? D-26472: Yes! It's creeping me the fuck out. Dr. Kontos: …the banana? D-26472: Yes! The banana is creeping me out, okay? Cut me some slack, fuck. Look at it! Dr. Kontos: … It's a banana. D-26472: It's a really creepy banana, okay?! Dr. Kontos: I see. The banana is most likely anomalous, so please go up to it and examine it. D-26472: Do I have to? Dr. Kontos: Yes. D-26472: Can you get someone else to do it? It's just really… it's really creeping me out, okay. I feel like it's gonna show up behind me or something. Dr. Kontos: Alright, alright. For the time being then, just describe the banana and your reaction to it. D-26472: Uh… um, right. Uh, okay. It's a… it's a banana. Looks pretty normal… kind of brown, overripe. Dr. Kontos: I see. Can you describe your feelings towards the banana? D-26472: Yeah. It's… it's really, uh, unnerving. Uh, the way I feel about it? Well… uh, you ever heard of this thing called, like, the Bon-Chong ghost or something? Dr. Kontos: I'm not familiar with it. D-26472: It's this online webcomic about this Korean ghost, and there's this jumpscare right, where the page autoscrolls down and it's this full-screen jumpscare of the ghost and this really spooky crack sound. Like, the first time I read it I fell out of my chair spooky. And uh, that's kind of the same vibe I'm getting from this banana? Like, it scared the shit out of me at first and it's still kind of weirding me out. + Thoughts - Hide whatever https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Banana_on_white_background.jpg truffles> Here’s what I think is better

5:14 PM <truffles> A banana

5:14 PM <truffles> It doesn’t talk

5:14 PM <truffles> It doesn’t kill people

5:14 PM <truffles> It’s just a good source of potassium

5:15 PM <truffles> But the banana has an EFFECT on people. It’s not a meme, it’s not a coghaz - it’s just that when someone is in a room alone with the banana they freak out, thinking it’ll kill them, and die of a cardiac arrest

5:15 PM <truffles> They die of fright

5:15 PM <•Decibelle> too bad i dont eat as many bananas as i used to

5:15 PM <truffles> So someone in the foundation catches wind of this

5:15 PM <truffles> They decide to bring it in

5:15 PM <truffles> Test it on D Class

5:15 PM <truffles> Yep

5:16 PM <truffles> Nobody has survived being in a room alone with the banana

5:16 PM <DiePotato> reminds me of that image i see of an owl being very frightened of a banana

5:16 PM <truffles> But it’s just a damn banana

5:16 PM <•Decibelle> but the banana would rot eventually •ARD> http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/4r4nd0md4y 2nd tab “nanners” please let me know what you think of it’s current state and where YOU personally would expect it to go. Thank you for your expert eye in advance!

10:45 PM <Hippo> ard: aaaa! that's a pretty good hook i don't know where i would take it I'd have to think tbh (also it feels weird to have my eye called 'expert' >_>) — i think there's a few mild word changes I'd make up until this point but nothing major it's all pretty a++ so far

10:45 PM <Hippo> like:

10:45 PM <Hippo> "The size and shape of SCP-XXXX are consistent with normal standards for a Cavendish banana and it is almost certainly edible."

10:45 PM <Hippo> instead of 'almost certainly edible' i would say 'and it is believed to be edible' or 'it is suspected to be edible'

10:45 PM <Hippo> i like the fact tha tyou're stopping just short of saying 'edible' because of how tha timplies they're all too scared to even try

10:46 PM <•ARD> Mhm. I like “it is almost certainly edible” specifically because of the aforementioned implication

10:46 PM <Hippo> (typically i am against phrases like 'it is suspected to be' but i nthis case it's fine since that's kind of the point)

10:46 PM <•ARD> I might replace “almost certainly” with “most likely”

10:46 PM <Hippo> yeah i think 'almost certainly' just feels too — informal

10:46 PM <•ARD> Yeah

10:46 PM <Hippo> like intentionally comedic

10:47 PM <Hippo> like reading through this — i know you'll immediately get a little bit of grouch over the fact that you're saying it's not cognitohazardous but it clearly is — that being said i think that might be your hook/twist, maybe

10:47 PM <•ARD> I guess my biggest problem with the draft right now is that the log’s trajectory is more predictable than that of an ideal physics problem

10:48 PM <Hippo> in that how could this possibly *not* be a cognitohazard

10:48 PM <•ARD> One of the other ideas I had for the draft was simply that anyone left alone in a room with the banana for long enough would die for a heart attack

10:49 PM <•ARD> There was no specific cause - everyone who died had something else that explained it - but for some reason it always happened while they were alone with the banana

10:50 PM <Hippo> answer: it's not actually anomalous; we are anomalously scared of this one banana?

10:50 PM <Hippo> like i mean there's some reason it's this one banana, but the banana is legitimately non-anomalous?

10:50 PM <Hippo> haha, i do kind of like that, but i don't know where you could take it

10:50 PM <Hippo> like the progression so far is, yeah, kind of predictable, but not in a *bad* way

10:50 PM <Hippo> oh, *hm*

10:50 PM <Hippo> I actually really like that idea too

10:50 PM <Hippo> like no fear or anything, just — people keep dying or suffering horrible fates and all we find is this goddamn banana

10:50 PM <Hippo> it reminds me of that one anomaly someone did — i forget what it was called — it was like, a screw? or a small device? and the only thing it did was trigger anomaly detection devices

10:50 PM <•ARD> I’ll have to take your idea about the cognitohazard thing into consideration because right now the only way to make the log any good is to develop morbid humor through the absurdity of people being scared to death by a banana

10:50 PM <Hippo> like nothing about it could be found that made it anomalous; it just *appeared* anomalous to all diagnostic instruments

10:50 PM <•ARD> Hippo: yeah that’s a Kate classic

10:50 PM <•ARD> I actually dislike it a fair bit lol

10:51 PM <Hippo> like that has a similar theme to this, in that we're left not knowing if we should be fucking terrified or if we should just eat the goddamn banana and go home

10:51 PM <•ARD> Mhm

10:51 PM <•ARD> I ought to play up that aspect some more

10:52 PM <•ARD> The idea that “yeah I KNOW it’s a fucking banana but my monkey brain is telling me to be very afraid”

10:52 PM <Hippo> darn it what was that thing called

10:52 PM <•ARD> SCP-2072

10:52 PM <•jarvis> ard: SCP-2072: Prime Ministerial Pet Cemetery (written 3 years ago by Kate McTiriss; rating: +235) - http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2072

10:52 PM <•ARD> dang not that one

10:52 PM <•ARD> .sea air coupler

10:52 PM <•jarvis> ard: SCP-2472: A Small Metal Air Coupler That Is Apparently Not Anomalous (written 3 years ago by Kate McTiriss; rating: +198) - http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2472

10:53 PM <Hippo> wow, sorry

10:53 PM <Hippo> my connection just went nuts

10:53 PM <Hippo> but yeah — that one

10:54 PM <Hippo> and like i can see why the air coupler falls flat for you (or anyone else) but i think this is a case where you could take that idea (which i think is solid, but is really hard to execute) and take it up a notch, yeah

10:54 PM <•ARD> I’m also a bit nervous about the bong cheon reference

10:54 PM <•ARD> Like my personal frame of mind for the banana is those creepypasta pictures

10:54 PM <•ARD> Like Jeff the killer and stuff

10:55 PM <Hippo> goddammit computer wth

10:55 PM <•ARD> You know it’s fake but in the back of your mind you think “but what if it’s not”

10:55 PM <Hippo> i keep getting 30-60 second lag bursts

10:55 PM <•ARD> Weird

10:55 PM <•ARD> But my concern with the bong cheon reference is arbitrarily dating the article and not in a good way

10:56 PM <•ARD> Like is it even a good reference - am I spending too much time on it

10:56 PM <Hippo> I think you're spending maybe too much time on it, but i don't think it's a bad reference

10:56 PM <Hippo> like I'd take out the footnote and have the d-class explain it briefly and that's it

10:56 PM <•ARD> Word

10:57 PM <Hippo> or use the footnote to explain it and have the d-class just say it's a flash video or something, either way

10:57 PM <•ARD> Cool

10:57 PM <Hippo> like that goes to that thing we talked to before re: verisimilitude, i think; you can have 'dated' references so long as you don't spend a lot of time on them — they can establish the sense of it being a real convo

10:58 PM <Hippo> crap — okay

10:58 PM <Hippo> i think the lag is done

10:58 PM <•ARD> I gotcha

10:58 PM <Hippo> HUFF

10:59 PM <Hippo> there's another angle i see, but i dunno if it would work — it struck me upon reading your containment rocedures tho

10:59 PM <Hippo> in that, whenever anyone is alone with the banana

10:59 PM <Hippo> with nothing watching

10:59 PM <Hippo> they disappear

11:00 PM <Hippo> like the banana has two properties: 1) if you are alone with it and nothing is recording or watching you, you vanish 2) people are ill-at-ease with the banana; it feels 'wrong', though they can't say why

11:00 PM <Hippo> and the foundation is trying to figure out if they should have someone eat the banana

11:00 PM <Hippo> I think having someone eat the banana might be your final twist/kick, IDK

11:00 PM <Hippo> like what happens?

11:02 PM <•ARD> lol

11:02 PM <•ARD> Maybe

11:02 PM <•ARD> That’s a good stinger though - someone is like “FUCK THIS” and eats the banana

11:02 PM <•ARD> Addendum: Neutralized

11:02 PM <Hippo> IDK tho part of the problem is that it really *is* kind of the air coupler — i don't mean that in a bad way, but i mean that in 'that's the challenge the anomaly presents to you as a writer' way

11:02 PM <Hippo> hahaha

11:03 PM <Hippo> by this being the air coupler i mean — the challenge is — that it's an article that, ultimately, isn't about anything but a faulty diagnostic system

11:03 PM <Hippo> (maybe)

11:03 PM <Hippo> like it's an article largely about nothing

11:03 PM <•ARD> 2472 is actually what happens when nobody tests edge cases

11:03 PM <Hippo> which is a neat idea and one i like but it's pretty challenging to make nothing compelling

11:04 PM <Hippo> i do like the 'ate it' / 'neutralized' thing

11:04 PM <Hippo> dunno how well that would sell but *I* think it's funny

11:05 PM <Hippo> tho you can go the other way too; instead of 1 banana, they end up with *2*

11:05 PM — Hippo x-files.midi

11:06 PM <Jekeled> if they eat it something worse needs to happen

11:06 PM <Jekeled> or that

11:06 PM <Jekeled> 2 bananas is good tooo

11:06 PM <Hippo> i also like the idea of escalation over nothing; like, a d-class thinking he has all th epower because he has the banana

11:06 PM <Hippo> hahahaha oh man

11:07 PM <•ARD> Hippo: a d-class eats it and chokes on it

11:07 PM <Hippo> ok lag again >:

11:07 PM <•ARD> But at the same time people cease to be affected by it

11:07 PM <•ARD> Object Class: Neutralized

11:07 PM <Hippo> but in case this gets through: d-class realizes they are not affected by banana

11:07 PM <Hippo> the entire power dynamic shifts when the d-class picks the banana up and confusedly just waves it at the researcher

11:08 PM <•ARD> Mmmm I'm honestly not too thrilled by that

11:08 PM <•ARD> I've seen a lot of articles with that kind of shift

11:08 PM <•ARD> Jack Ike has written a few, you yourself wrote one with the monopoly board

11:08 PM <Hippo> fair enough! also I *just* got your messages, haha

11:08 PM <•ARD> Ah

11:08 PM <Hippo> sorry i keep getting slammed with lag

11:08 PM <•ARD> Weird. Try turning your wifi off and then on again

11:08 PM <Hippo> I'm at work — i think it's the mibbit plugin? IDK

11:09 PM <•ARD> Hm

11:11 PM <Hippo> idk where I'd take this it's a fun setup but it's also a hard one >_> i do like the d-class eating and choking on it, haha. or they vanish and now there's two; maybe it's even like keter cakes, but with fear

11:12 PM <•ARD> the next day: there is a giant banana where the d-class used to be

11:12 PM <Hippo> hahaha

11:13 PM ↔ Hippo nipped out

11:16 PM <Hippo> Okay, I'm connected through another plugin entirely. I think it's definitely the wiki's plug-in; it wouldn't even load after I got disconnected.

11:17 PM <Hippo> Another possibly really dumb idea: Make the banana the 2740 of foods.

11:17 PM <Hippo> Instead of trying to enter the attic, people keep trying to eat it, but they can't remember even making the attempt.

11:18 PM <Hippo> Like, they just try to *peel* the banana, and they can't; it's like their attempts are retrocausally erased.

11:19 PM <Hippo> (Also, sorry that I don't have a distinct answer for this; it's a problem with a *lot* of different possible approaches!)

11:19 PM <•ARD> Yeah no worries

11:20 PM <•ARD> I want to keep it very simple

11:20 PM <•ARD> The 2740 of foods is a silly idea but it lacks the absurd horror I want to go for

11:21 PM <Hippo> Yeah. Hm. I think — like, with something as simple as a banana, the only way you get to horror is through implication. My immediate thoughts go to the act of peeling the banana, and the implication of peeling a human similarly.

11:21 PM <•ARD> Hmmm

11:22 PM <Hippo> Like, this isn't what you're going for, but as an example — imagine an article where the Foundation can't tell the difference between a D-Class personnel and the banana.

11:22 PM <Hippo> And so, the 'stinger' is the very simple, very abrupt mention of having peeled the object, with the reader knowing the object is, in fact, the D-Class.

11:23 PM <Hippo> (Possibly by way of simply mentioning that after peeling, it was determined that the subject ceased moving, or was red, etc)

11:27 PM <Hippo> (alternatively, it could be bananaphone. But not really. Please don't do bananaphone)

11:40 PM → shaggydredlocks joined (~ten.tsacmoc.ap.1dsh.33C68502-CRInys|tibbiM#ten.tsacmoc.ap.1dsh.33C68502-CRInys|tibbiM)

11:51 PM <•ARD> Lol

rating: 0 + x ██████████ Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Safe/Euclid/Keter (indicate which class) Special Containment Procedures: [Paragraphs explaining the procedures] Description: SCP-XXXX is a drilling rig located at the bottom of an abandoned granite quarry in [Somewhere], Massachusetts. Although the quarry has been abandoned since at least 1961, the rig has continued to operate. The quarry around the rig is subject to minor anomalous phenomena: all groundwater that enters the quarry will flow towards SCP-XXXX, up the surrounding support structure, and into the borehole. Furthermore, the borehole continuously emits copious quantities of Cherenkov radiation. Measurements of the borehole's depth as well as documentation from the quarry suggest that it extends to the Earth's inner core and is increasing in depth; it is unclear how the drill is able to operate under such extreme conditions. SCP-XXXX was designed as a doomsday eigenweapon, commissioned by the Pentagram and jointly constructed by Kervier International and a third party codenamed Black Eagle, during the Cold War as a scorched-earth policy: the weapon is controlled by a primitive artificial intelligence that is networked into all major US telecommunications networks and frequencies and is capable of parsing information transmitted therein. In case of a global socioeconomic shift towards ideologies typically associated with Communism, the weapon would detonate its payload within the Earth's core. It is unclear what effects would ensue, though the intended effect was likely the total destruction of the planet. SCP-XXXX's drill bit simultaneously acts as its payload; while the exact composition and origin of the material are unknown, records recovered from Kervier International suggest that it was recovered by the Army Corps of Engineers in 195█ at ██████ █████, ████████ ███████. The material used to make the drill bit was then transferred to Kervier International at some point prior to 1960. SCP-XXXX's derrick is entirely automated, although its power source and the source of its drill string are unknown. The drill string is automatically dispensed from within the derrick into the borehole at a rate of 60 meters per hour; examination of the string have revealed the presence of human nervous tissue laced into it. Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs] + Show whatever - Hide whatever Whatever text to show/hide.

rating: 0 + x Addendum: Executive Brief, Investigative Report Kukulkan Testimony from internal sources suggests that the Chemical Corps collaborated with the CIA and a third party codenamed "Black Eagle" to develop SCP-2350, using test subjects from project MKUltra to produce and refine the agent. While the CIA were responsible for procuring test subjects and the Chemical Corps developed the mortar system, the actual development of SCP-XXXX apparently fell to "Black Eagle". Because the majority of the CIA's files on MKUltra were destroyed in 1973 and none of the surviving files reference Black Eagle in any way, verification of this information is difficult. However, the existence of Black Eagle is supported by classified files related to the United States Space Program. All knowledge of Black Eagle's involvement with SCP-2350 comes from testimony compelled from [REDACTED] (codenamed Rockefeller), a member of the Chemical Corps who worked on the mortar system. Before I say anything I want to make it clear that I had no actual say in the project. I was just following orders. I don't know who started the project, who ran it, or who Black Eagle was. My job was just to record the… the sound. Uh… where do you want me to start? Black Eagle? Uh… okay. Um… I have no idea who Black Eagle is. I still don't. What I do know is that by 1955 Project DESPERADO was on the verge of being shut down. We used it in Korea bu