The story goes that at the time that Jesus walked the earth, the Holy Trinity assigned themselves each a ‘Zone’. God’s enclave was Heaven; Jesus’ Earth. The Holy Ghost on the other hand decided on a place more humble. His Zone was at the Eastern end of The Old Kent Road in South London, in a row of disused shops.

The Holy Ghost Zone is where I found myself on Sunday 18th May.

On their website, Holy Ghost Zone (HGZ) says its pastor ‘Wunmi Oladunjoye “places emphasis on the need for today’s Christians to engage in spiritual warfare through fervent prayers to ensure that the victory Jesus Christ claimed for his church at the cross of Calvary, is manifested in the lives of every believer.” It also says that their 2nd Sunday Service starts at 12.30pm. I arrived at 12.05pm and according to the sign on the outside of the building, I was already 5 minutes late. I went inside to see that the main room of the church was already full (capacity ~80) I was ushered into a side room that had two rows of chairs facing a wall upon which was mounted a TV screen, live streaming the proceedings from the main room.

From the stage Pastor ‘Wunmi was telling us that “life is a race”. She asked the congregation what marathon runners need to run successfully. Replies from the audience included “legs!”, and “oxygen!”. Both answers were correct, she admitted, but not the ones she was looking for. Finally, to her satisfaction, someone shouted “water!”. ‘Wunmi then proceeded with a sermon themed around the “living water” that nourished our bodies and souls.

She went on to tell us that education will not quench our thirst for the living water, quoting Ecclesiates 12:12 – “Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.” There was a little disconcertion in the room upon hearing this extract. ‘Wunmi defended herself by telling the doubters that “[she] didn’t write it!”.

As the sermon went on, piano music slowly rose in the background. There was a man behind me who was saying Amen much more often than anyone else – each sentence the Pastor spoke, he would give five or six Amens. As the music rose with ‘Wunmi’s voice to a crescendo, the man shouted incoherently, and the entire congregation broke into song. It was mesmerising. Much more interesting was that no one seemed to have song sheets, but they still inexplicably knew the lyrics and melody. It was as though the words were divinely implanted into their minds. I, as a non-believer, was not privy to this information, so I stood in silence. ‘Wunmi was not an amazing singer, but unlike me, she had soul. And by that I mean she was loud. Deafening, through the nearby amplifier.

After the song had been sung, ‘Wunmi told us that there was a particular person in the congregation who was grieving, and that that person should step forward. At least ten people went forward to meet her. “What I am inspired to do is lay hands on your belly and bring forth the waters of healing” said ‘Wunmi. The first person, a young woman, went up on stage, her belly was touched, and she collapsed into the arms of another lady standing ready behind her. This scene was repeated many more times. Most people burst into tears, and at least a couple fell to the floor. I started to think ‘Wunmi (or the Holy Ghost) was pressing too hard. One woman fell right off the stage. The procession seemed to go on forever – far more than the original ten received ‘Wumni’s treatment. It reminded me of the flag parade at the 2012 London Olympics. It made me wonder if everyone at the Church was grieving over a friend they had lost recently, that everyone knew but me.

As the service rumbled towards its uncertain end, a lady spotted me as being a first-time attendee.

“You’re new here!” She said.

“Yes!” I said.

“Are you a Christian?”

I had to think fast.

“Yes.” I replied.

“Born Again?”

“Not yet.”

My quick thinking had earned me her respect.

A gentleman then took to the stage to speak about tithing. He told us how he had received a bonus from work, and that God had told him to donate it all to the Church. He said a prayer with us. One of the lines of the prayer was “as they pay their tithes, they are paying insurance cover over their whole lives.”

At the end of the service the lady I had met earlier came back to me to give me their welcome gift bag. When I opened it at home I found inside a CD with the Holy Ghost Zone branding on it, a can of Pepsi, and a packet of Morrison’s ‘Nice’ biscuits. Was this HGZ’s equivalent of Communion Wafers and Wine? I approve 100%.

Holy Ghost Zone’s service was hypnotic, funny at times, but possibly heresy. Also they gave me biscuits. 4/5 Crosses

Thanks to my friend and Christian Consultant Ashley Bloom for the encouragement and guidance on Biblical matters.

Ashley is an incredibly talented Photographer, whose work you can find at www.ashleybloom.net.