Joe Biden is always good for laughs, but there isn’t really any joke: he’s serious. On Sunday, he reminded us just how far around the bend he is when he called a female questioner in New Hampshire a “lying, dog-faced pony soldier.” Even Fox News, along with the rest of the establishment media, immediately rushed to his aid by claiming he was “joking,” but imagine what the uproar would have been if Trump had called anyone that. In any case, it’s important to remember that Crazy Joe is not alone: the Democratic candidates are all crazy.

The “dog-faced pony soldier” remark was not Old Joe’s first trip to the Crazy Rodeo. Last August, he was asked by a college student in Iowa how many genders there were. “There are at least three,” he answered, and when she asked him to explain, he shot back: “Don’t play games with me, kid.”

Three genders. Well, at least Joe is saner than those who insist there are seventy-three genders, or whatever the number is this week.

Affable but testy and thin-skinned, Joe has been just as testy on numerous other occasions, hardly a winning strategy for someone who is trying to ingratiate himself with voters. When another Iowa voter challenged him about his son Hunter’s highly questionable dealings in Ukraine, he grew increasingly agitated and finally responded heatedly to the portly questioner: “Look, Fat, look, here’s the deal…”

Dotty old Joe has also been given to nostalgic ramblings, as when he said: “And by the way, you know, I sit on the stand, and it’d get hot. I gotta lotta, I got hairy legs, that turn, that, that, that, that, that, that turn, uh, uh, um, blond in the sun. And the kids used to come up and reach into the pool and rub my leg down so it was straight and then watch the hair, mmm, come, come back up again. So I learned about roaches. I learned about kids jumping on my lap. And I’ve loved kids jumping on my lap.”

Time to back away slowly, while smiling reassuringly at old Joe, hoping he doesn’t make any sudden moves. But where to turn?

Then there is Bernie Sanders, who really did win in Iowa until the Democratic National Committee (DNC) allegedly went to work, just like in 2016. Bernie is too far to the left, even for the Democrats, or at least wants to accomplish what they want to accomplish more quickly than they do. The DNC doesn’t want Bernie to be the nominee; hence the spectacularly inept attempt to steal Iowa away from him.

It’s easy to understand why the DNC hates and fears Sanders. In 1988, he and his new wife spent ten days in the Soviet Union on what he called “a very strange honeymoon.” According to the Washington Post, “he was enthralled with the hospitality and the lessons that could be brought home.”

In February 2019, video surfaced of Sanders in 1985 praising Fidel Castro in terms that sound very much like his political platform as a candidate for the 2020 Democrat presidential nomination: “Way back in—what was it?—1961, they invaded Cuba, and everybody was totally convinced that Castro was the worst guy in the world and all of the Cuban people were going to rise up in rebellion against Fidel Castro. They forgot that he educated their kids, gave their kids health care, totally transformed the society.” I thought Obama already did that here, but Bernie will certainly finish the job.

Well, at least Bernie’s not crazy, right? Sure – but after hundreds of millions of dead bodies, anyone who is still a doctrinaire Marxist is not exactly in full possession of his faculties. And after Bernie, there is Elizabeth Warren, who pretended to be an American Indian for decades and recently promised that she would have a “young trans person” select her Secretary of Education. It used to be that adults would teach and children would learn, but that is so pre-Greta Thunberg. In any case, why this noble squaw isn’t planning to have a young trans Native American vet her Education secretary, she did not explain.

Then there is Pete Buttigieg, who, judging from the chicanery pulled off on his behalf to make it seem as if he had won in Iowa, seems to be the Clintons’ choice. As Jim Treacher noted at PJ Media, Buttigieg tweeted Friday an image of himself accompanied by one of his portentous statements: “The Shape of Our Democracy Is the Issue That Affects Every Other Issue.”

What does that mean? Nothing at all, of course, but it sounds good until you think about it for a second. Maybe that’s better than Joe’s lunatic ramblings, Bernie’s Communism, and Warren’s relentless pandering to minorities. Or maybe not. The Democrats today just aren’t offering any good or sane choices. Klobuchar? I won’t call her crazy — she might throw a lamp at me. It’s going to be an interesting primary season.

Robert Spencer is the director of Jihad Watch and a Shillman Fellow at the David Horowitz Freedom Center. He is author of 19 books, including the New York Times bestsellers The Politically Incorrect Guide to Islam (and the Crusades) and The Truth About Muhammad. His latest book is The Palestinian Delusion: The Catastrophic History of the Middle East Peace Process. Follow him on Twitter here. Like him on Facebook here.