markrosewater:

So Matt wanted to contribute a joke for this week’s “Tales from the Pit” Templated lyrics theme. It didn’t come lose to fitting but it was to good not to let you all see it.

Enjoy:

Christmas

Enchantment

2RG

Cast Christmas only if you have a teammate and that teammate is your true love.

At the beginning of your upkeep, put a day counter on Christmas. Then create twelve 1/1 green Human Spellshaper creature tokens with “G, T, Discard a card: Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn” if there are twelve or more day counters on Christmas. Then create eleven 1/1 green Elf Shaman creature tokens with “G, T: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield” if there are eleven or more day counters on Christmas. Then create ten 1/1 white Human Lord creature tokens with “U: This creature gains flying until end of turn” if there are ten or more day counters on Christmas. Then create nine 2/2 green Centaur creature tokens with forestwalk if there nine or more day counters on Christmas. Then create eight 1/1 green Elf creature tokens with “G: Target creature gains trample until end of turn” if there are eight or more day counters on Christmas. Then create seven 4/3 white and blue Bird Spirit creature tokens with flying and “If a source would deal damage to this creature, prevent that damage. The source’s controller draws cards equal to the damage prevented this way” if there are seven or more day counters on Christmas. Then create six 1/1 white Bird creature tokens with flying and “T: Create a 0/1 white Egg creature token” if there are six or more day counters on Christmas. Then choose two or more colors and create five Ring artifact tokens that are the chosen colors if there are five or more day counters on Christmas. Then take a breath. Then create four blue Bird creature tokens with flying and “T: Target attacking creature has base power 0 until end of turn” if there are four or more day counters on Christmas. Puis créez trois jetons de creature 1/1 blanche Oiseau avec le vol si elle a au moins trois marqueurs jour sur Noël. Then create two 2/2 blue and green Turtle Bird creature tokens if there are two or more day counters on Christmas. Then create a 2/2 green Bird creature token with flying and bands with Treefolk. Then put Christmas on the bottom of its owner’s library if there are twelve counters on Christmas.