ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The flying rat tasked with drumming up some publicity ahead of the only Bledisloe Cup match in Australia this year has failed yet again in his duty.

The Advocate can reveal that during this morning’s Rugby Australia WIP meeting at their needlessly decadent Sydney headquarters, the Pigeon felt the full force of the board’s wrath.

“You stupid pigeon!” yelled RA’s CEO Raelene Castle.

“I bought every paper last weekend and there was nothing about the Bledisloe in any other them! There wasn’t even a mention in The Australian! Are you trying to make Peter Fitzsimons’ job easier?”

The Pigeon remained silent, as did the other employees of Rugby Australia who had a hand in the mistake.

“Uh?! You’re not going to be able to cooo your way out of this one! I don’t care that your Dr Pigeon’s son and I don’t care that you’re an Old Boy of the Royal School for Pigeons!”

“This type of shit doesn’t fly here! Lift your game, Pigeon! Or else!”

Accepting his fate, Pigeon took off from the boardroom table and into the nearest window.

Castle brought the meeting to a close and used a tissue to pick up the motionless Pigeon off the boardroom floor to throw him in the bin.

“Jesus Christ. Ok, we need a new marketing pigeon,” she said

“Anyone have a son or a nephew who needs a job?”

More to come.

