"Don't do it, Phil!"

Despite the pleas of his friends (and the encouragement of the other 98 percent of passersby, thirsty for spectacle), one man livened up pregame tailgating with this moment that will probably lead the 2012 Cleveland Browns season DVD. The YouTube description doesn't give us much beyond the location and the man's price ($450, nothing to sniff at), and we have so many questions. Whose idea was this—Phil's, or his peer pressurin' friends? How drunk was Phil? How many people and how long did it take to fill up a five-gallon bucket with urine? Which poor bastard had to sit next to this guy during the game?


We were tempted to call this scene a microcosm for the Browns' year, but then the Browns went and won the Battle of Ohio. But you know what? Phil won too. He won $450, and now some internet fame. So we're confident in saying this: a man sticking his head in a bucket of piss, then getting paid for it, is absolutely the Browns' 2012 season.