A guy described as a “white male with a shaved head and tattoo on his neck” went into a Cirilla’s adult store in Blue Springs (MO) on Wednesday night and stole, as the store manager put it, “the two biggest dongs I sell.”

Those are: An 11-inch one, that’s worn as a strap-on, and a regular 10-inch along with a bottle of lotion/lube. The suspect is still at large (and apparently having a very good time.) The best part though is the audio from the 911 call.

Enjoy.

YouTube: William Bastone

[h/t smoking gun]