Posted on 26 January 2014

Hipster festival deemed not hipster enough as a result.

Hipsters from all walks of life — mainly baristas and freelance designers — are pulling an even longer face and taking a longer drag on their cigarettes as they shake their heads in disapproval.

This after several thousand people were in attendance at this year’s St Jerome’s Laneway Festival on Jan. 25 held at The Meadow, Gardens By The Bay.

The thousands in attendance caused the indie hipster mood to sour as hipsters were expecting less than 100 non-mainstream people to show up.

One hipster, who wants to be know as Theodore XXGentrifiedYY Lim, said: “This year’s Laneway concert is an epic failure. There was just too many people. A hipster concert is only hipster if no one attends.”

“I did not pay hundreds of dollars to go to a festival that will attract so many other people. What is this? Metallica? That is so mainstream.”

Other hipsters said the indie spirit died the moment they saw Vance Joy scheduled to play as he alone already has about 1,000 fans worldwide.

Susan XOXO Capricious Tan, another concert-goer, said: “The organisers are to blame. They ought to know that an indie festival should at most cater to 30 fans. Artists like Vance Joy is too well-known already. Why is he even featured?”

For next year’s concert, hipsters hope the organiser will do a better job by encapsulating the indie hipster spirit.

They propose bringing in bands such as Catmangler and Thunderbolt Claptrap, two bands which are not mainstream at all as they have not even been formed yet.