Me: *on the phone* “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “My cable won’t stop changing channels.”

(I walk the customer through a basic re-set.)

Me: “Has that resolved the issue?”

Customer: “No, it’s still changing channels.”

Me: “Okay, you’re just watching it and it’s just randomly changing channels by itself?”

Customer: “Yes, when I press the channel up and down buttons on the remote, it keeps changing channels.”

Me: “…that’s the purpose of the channel buttons.”

Customer: “Well, how do I get it to stop changing channels?”

Me: “Stop pressing the channel buttons.”

Customer: *getting irritated* “But I want to press the channel buttons, but it won’t stop changing.”

Me: “If you don’t want it to change, stop pressing the buttons.”

Customer: “Oh… but how do I get it to stop?”

Me: “Put your remote down and don’t touch it.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Why would you have that button if it’s just going to change the channels?!”