LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

A tense situation unfolded in Betoota Heights earlier today.



Married couple Elaine (56) and Gerry Scott (57) were entertaining friends Linda and Lloyd Hughes when Elaine made a mistake that went beyond the realms of conforming to traditional gender norms.



Emerging from the kitchen with a stubby holder wrapped bottle of beer for each man, Elaine made the mistake of inserting Lloyd’s beer into her husband’s favourite stubby holder, causing Gerry to stare daggers into Lloyd’s stubby-holder-stealing heart.



Initially, conversation between the two couples continued as normal with the exception of Gerry staring with a fixed fury into the very soul of the man who had unknowingly commandeered a synthetic cylinder that he holds precious above all others.



According to sources close to the family, it was during the second round of drinks that Gerry could no longer contain his composure and used humour as a means to lash out.



“My stubby holder has never been used on a light beer before!” joked Gerry, sipping his full-strength beer in his backup stubby like some beta-male chump.



“It’s good that one, isn’t it?”



“I miss it.”



Unsure how to treat the outburst, the adults of the group shared a confused chorus of laughter before standing in silence wondering if Gerry really did want his faded stubby holder he received free at a racing event 12 years ago returned to his care.