One of the 2 million rats that steal pizza in New York City.

HALIFAX – In a wide-ranging portrait of Halifax-born movie star Ellen Page, The New York Times, a generally reputable publication, casually slams Halifax.

It comes after the paragraph about the “gnarled sophistication” of Page’s forehead. Here’s what they have to say:

Page was born and raised in Halifax, Nova Scotia, about as far as you can get (geographically, historically and spiritually) from Hollywood. The city’s downtown wraps around a central hill; its North End was largely destroyed by a freak explosion nearly 100 years ago. The harbor is occasionally punctuated by breaching whales. A few years after Page was born, in 1987, Nova Scotia’s fishing industry hit a hard spell. The region still has one of the highest unemployment rates in Canada.

Um, what?

So the writer spent maybe 30 seconds on Wikipedia and pulled out some random negative factoids to drop in the story to help underscore the narrative about Page’s journey?

Thanks for that.

We thought we’d return the favour. Here’s our take on New York City, in a similarly considered and researched style.

Donald Trump was born in New York City, about as far as you can get (environmentally, culturally and socially) from Halifax, Nova Scotia. The borough of Manhattan is surrounded by water, making its residents likely to perish horribly in a flood. In 1980, 1,814 people were murdered on its blood-soaked streets. New York’s crushing mass of humanity is punctuated by more than 2 million rats, which are known to steal pizza and carry the plague. Alligators are thought to roam its sewers. In 1897 the city’s wooden barrel making industry hit a hard spell. Even today, New York City has unemployed people.

We love Ellen Page and we love Halifax. C’mon New York Times, try harder.