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First Impressions

No. No way. I thought for sure the recipe must be wrong but several different websites agree this is a real thing people deliberately put inside themselves. Incidentally, if you didn't click on that last link, it leads to a website for dealing with newborns and now I'm jealous that I didn't think of a drinking website for parents first. Also a little depressed. I have such great ideas but I never follow through on them. I'm always doing this.

It's called Hot Holiday Punch but I'm privately suspicious that it was invented by someone who doesn't know what any of those words mean. To the touch, this drink is tepid at best, and if I had to guess what the opposite of fruit was, I would probably go with dairy. I don't think anyone would choose to dri-

Wait. Go back to that website for a second.

Holy shit, I can't tell whether I'm supposed to feed this to a baby or not. The Age field at the top says, "Baby." That's mistake right? There's no way babies can have eggs. This website is awful. I really should have thought of it first.