Imagine having the feeling of experiencing happiness but at the same time feel so sad inside. Yesterday was definitely one of those days. I over slept which I really don’t like doing. It usually is a sign I’m feeling low. All I like to do is sleep. Then when I got up I had the challenge of getting myself ready for today. I didn’t feel like showering or washing my hair. But I did it. I put on the smallest amount of makeup to hide the fact I look drained and down. I pick out a outfit out of comfort and not out of style. Next, I have the challenge of being in the car for hours. Car rides really give me anxiety. When we reached our destination I felt relieved but once again so sad. I spend hours with family and I feel like everything I say is stupid. I feel distant. I try to eat and only eat a little. Time seems to be going slowly. Inside I really am blessed to be with my family but I just feel so overwhelmed with sadness . It’s almost like the sensation of someone close dying. You feel so very sad and empty but you know deep down you are happy they are in a better place and in a place where there is no pain or sadness. We get home after midnight. Finally I cave in and cried. All the emotions bottled in today finally came out. I change into pjs and try watching a show. I take my medicine and watch YouTube videos . Then I’m off to sleep. That’s just an example of a down day in a life of a bipolar person.