Suppose they gave an Oscars ceremony and nobody came? Or rather, suppose they threw another tedious, self-congratulatory Hollywood circle jerk — and just a few white people showed up?

This is the fate facing Tinseltown’s most overrated awards fete, scheduled for Feb 28. Some African-Americans, and at least one white supporter, vow to skip the annual celebration of liberal politics, Botox and racism so blatant that not a single person of color was nominated this year or last for an acting Academy Award. No movie starring racial minorities has a shot at winning a Best Picture statue this year.

Who’s responsible for this travesty? Don’t blame political conservatives. We discriminated against no one. Republicans — all-purpose boo­gey­people to the radical left — didn’t warp the film world.

And patriotic Americans, who’ve been dashed repeatedly by the Oscars’ rejection of films that reflect their values, committed no offense.

The trouncing of La-La Land diversity is a self-inflicted wound suffered by political progressives who run the realm of rich, hypocritical, Gulfstream jet-flying warriors against climate change and income inequality.

Apparently, partly in response to the viral hashtag #OscarsSoWhite, overlords of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced that they aim to double its number of women and “diverse” members — by 2020.

The struggle for millionaires’ civil rights will not wait.

Will Smith is leading a boycott charge with his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, and filmmakers Spike Lee and Michael Moore. Smith said on “Good Morning America” — insultingly — that the nominations demonstrate racial inequities plaguing the United States, which presumably he experiences from behind tinted limousine windows.

“When I look at it, the nominations reflect the academy. The academy reflects the industry, reflects Hollywood, and then the industry reflects America,” he lectured. “It reflects a series of challenges that we are having in our country at the moment.

“There’s a regressive slide towards separatism, towards racial and religious disharmony, and that’s not the Hollywood that I want to leave behind. That’s not the industry, that’s not the America, I want to leave behind.”

Word to the academy-overlooked “Concussion’’ star: This is no vast right-wing conspiracy.

Oscars were awarded on a more consistently racially diverse basis during the presidency of Republican George W. Bush than they are under Democrat Barack Obama. During the Bush years, Halle Berry, Denzel Washington and Jamie Foxx took home statues for leading roles, and Jennifer Hudson nabbed one for Best Actress in a Supporting Role.

The last film featuring blacks to be lavishly honored by the academy was 2013’s “12 Years a Slave,’’ a brutal but important work based on the true story of a free black man kidnapped from upstate New York and enslaved in the 19th-century South.

It won Oscars for Best Picture, supporting actress and adapted screenplay.

Now, jump to this year.

The 2015 biopic “Straight Outta Compton,” which I thoroughly enjoyed, is an uplifting dramatization of the rags-to-riches journey of N.W.A. The African-American members of the 1980s rap group are shown overcoming street gangs, drugs, brutality purportedly inflicted by racist cops, and the FBI, which tried and failed to silence the catchy rap, “F- -k tha Police.” Perhaps that sentiment would best be directed at the academy.

The movie’s only Oscar nomination is for Best Original Screenplay.

Meanwhile, the white-dominated “Mad Max: Fury Road’’ (I missed this one) is a post-apocalyptic car-chase movie not starring Mel Gibson. It nabbed 10 nominations, including ones for Best Picture and Directing.

Hollywood is sick with an even bigger prejudice — a pathological disdain for flag-waving, pro-military films.

Most gallingly, 2014’s box-office monster “American Sniper” got virtually no respect from the academy. Directed by Clint Eastwood, the film about Navy SEAL sharpshooter Chris Kyle, beautifully played by Bradley Cooper, was nominated for six Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Actor. (Eastwood wasn’t nominated.) The movie scored just one statue for sound editing.

The good news is that we shall overcome Hollywood racism. But I guarantee that out-of-touch movieland leftists won’t exhibit love for America anytime soon.

Critics a bit snippy

In my column last week, I confessed that I’m Team Circumcision, which pissed off Team Foreskin.

“Your disregard for victims reminds me of rape apologists and Holocaust denialists,’’ reader Carrie Arnese wrote in an email.

“Intactivists’’ are men who feel mutilated from having the foreskins snipped from their penises as babies, and women who believe the procedures are painful, barbaric and unnecessary.

But Carl Monetti, 66, wrote that he could not be intimate with women until after he was cut while serving in the Air Force: “Trust me, I would much rather have gone through the procedure as a baby than at 21.’’

Popular in the United States, though the rate has dipped in recent years, circumcision safeguards men from certain cancers and sexually transmitted diseases, studies show. Intactivists contend the health claims are overblown, and say that about 100 males die each year as a result of genital alteration.

It’s about aesthetics for me. I’m not switching teams.

A ‘fat’ lot of good

The skinny chick has grown love handles!

Appeasing feminists while trying to pump up plummeting sales, toymakers at Mattel last week unveiled fat Barbies. The dolls’ formerly busty, scrawny plastic bodies, critics warned, encouraged eating disorders in kids ever since they were introduced in 1959.

Now the dolls, available in racially diverse skin tones and hairdos since last year, are being sold online in three politically correct body types: “petite,” “tall” and “curvy” — with thunder thighs, generous hips and protruding guts. They hit stores in March.

I’m glad my teenage daughter is too old to play with the dolls of my childhood. Who needs life lessons from Barbie?

Cast-ing doubt

I believe Michael Jackson was a never-convicted child-molesting freak. But why is white British actor Joseph Fiennes, 45, playing the African-American pop legend in a British TV comedy?

Jacko’s adult skin was white — he claimed his pigmentation was marred by the skin condition vitiligo — and he was a plastic-surgery victim who died of an overdose of the anesthetic propofol in 2009 at age 50.

Out of respect to people of all races, Fiennes should pull out of this disastrous project.