It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! let’s check out some new releases!

BOL4 – Workaholic

The best thing about this is the singer’s hair, I think she worked a lot harder on that than the actual song, which is just the usual coffee-shop-by-numbers that they were doing before “Red Diary”.

BOL4 – 25

On the other hand their other feature track is more modern sounding, but sucks far more. Hearing her sing “twenty five” over and over is seriously grating.

Dreamcatcher – Breaking Out

It’s a good thing that there’s a heavy chorus because everything leading up to it is pretty pathetic. We didn’t need more of this sound in k-pop in 2019.

IZ*ONE – Vampire

Overly present vocals that don’t have the usual blandifying soft Autotune treatment are probably going to bother k-pop listeners raised on a diet of fairy floss and have them recoil in horror, but there’s nothing too drastically wrong (or right) with the actual song once you take away the fact that whoever recorded this clearly didn’t give a fuck.

FTIsland – Quit

They’re making my job real easy with these song titles aren’t they. Still, this isn’t that bad that they should give up or anything, but FTIsland sure ain’t no X Japan.

Sunwoojunga – To Zero

Tedious art-wank that probably would have impressed me hugely when I was thirteen. If you’re also thirteen you can consider that a recommendation I guess, now stop reading this blog before I tell your parents.

WeGirls – Ride

It’s not completely awful, which is actually quite an achievement for something in the tropical shithouse style.

Haubi – You’re Always My Side

Haubi might not be as attractive as your usual trot singer but her song is better.

Pierce – Villain

It always creeps me out to see girls this young in a k-pop group. I don’t even want to think about what their diet is like.

Dongkiz – Dreaming You

Your usual “gosh we love our fans” type bullshit song, although far from the worst of its type.

Chungha, Mommy Son – Fast

I’d wear a mask, too.

Monsta X – Pepsi For The Love Of It

It’s kinda shitty, but not because it’s a commercial or anything, I mean we’ve had good commercial songs this year.

Wiz – Sunlight

It’s a bit sad if this is what rock in Korea has become.

BB – Never Wake Up

They put “hip-hop” in brackets right there before the song title because there’s no way you’d be able to tell otherwise.

Sim Yejun – After Shower

The usual bullshit by some guy who wishes he was in SHINee or something, but SHINee always sucked at this kind of smooth R&B thing and so does he.

Jang HeeWon – Let’s Dance For Me

Not much dancing going on here.

Ku One Chan – We Need

When you’re flying through the galaxy, wear your fucking seatbelts. What’s wrong with you people? Didn’t Ladies Code teach you anything?

HENG – Summer’summer

Stop linking me porn for roundup guys. This blog isn’t like that.

Kim Young Geun – Not Happy

There’s a lot of hugging and embracing in this music video. It’s good to see actors emotionally support each other through the tough times of having to be in crappy Korean ballad music videos.

Ji Dong Kuk – The Way Back To You

I think she’s just crying from all the dust in there. Put those books away properly damnit, that’s a fire hazard to leave everything like that.

Wilcox – Rainman

Wilcox is always bullshit, one of those artists where you can safely not bother clicking on the videos because it’s just never going to be good. I guess he writes his own songs.

Wilcox ft. Boni – Rose

Just a shame that poor old Boni gets dragged into this but oh well. Maybe she can take legal action or something.

Soovi – Chained Up in Diamonds

Yawn.

UV – World Tension

You know it’s a bad week in k-pop when even UV can’t quite get it right.

LambC ft. Ko Youngbae – You

Fucking jazz chords. Just say no, kids.

Ryu Su A – H!

It takes a lot to creep me out but I think this girl singing into a pine cone just passed the threshold of wrongness.

Holmsted ft. Chaanill – Time Goes By

It’s just natural law that no song called “Time Goes By” can ever be good.

Jeon Sang Keun – I Still Love You A Lot

She doesn’t love you at all. She has hear earbuds in while you’re talking to her. Get the hint, bro.

Hyun Su – If

Ugh.

bintage ft. Donggyoung – Workroom

More shit. “Seoul Music” YouTube channel is a waste of time. It’s like their government wants everyone else to hate them.

Jdle – Cinderella

Supposed “indie” shit that sounds exactly the same as all the other shit. The term truly has no meaning.

SarahKayaComson – El Macho

Your worst nightmare has arrived. Sesame Street has discovered Korean hip-hop/R&B lite.

Del.Mo – Aqua Girl

Too much aqua, not enough girl.

Wavycake ft. hatts, Crucial Star – Space

I think the space is between their ears.

Knave – Call Me Back

If you’re not getting phone calls, maybe you should be asking yourself why this is.

Southcarrey – Bullet

Who the hell walks out of a studio after cutting something like this and thinks “gosh that was a hard day’s work, but gee we did a good job didn’t we”.

Oriental Showcus – Break The Routine

Swing jazz is all very well but scat vocal is just immoral.

Tiffany Young – Magnetic Moon (Tony Romera remix)

It’s had enough of the original song bleached out of it to the point where it doesn’t even sound like the same piece of music, which would be a good thing if any of the stuff that was replacing it was worth a shit.

BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Should K-pop stars be punished for their past bullying?

The interview with Tvixxbar about experiencing bullying from a k-pop idol has really taken off, with a lot of mixed reactions being generated, as fans of The Boyz struggle to deal with the possibility that one of their favourite group’s members might have been a bully in the past. For the record, I don’t think Eric should be removed from his group, “cancelled” etc, I think that mentality is silly. I just think that idols shouldn’t have to pretend to be perfect, because none of us are perfect, being flawed humans and doing flawed human stuff should be acknowledged and dealt with openly. The main objection people are having with the interview is that he was only thirteen at the time… and that’s true, but let’s also consider the fact that so was his alleged victim, and also consider the fact that regardless of the age when it happens bullying has a real human cost which includes ongoing mental health issues and even suicide in some cases. What should happen from here in my opinion is Tvixxbar’s call, if it were me I would have thought a simple acknowledgement and apology would be enough, but would his agency allow it, even privately? To me, this isn’t a so much a problem with Eric, as a problem with the system Eric is in that demands a veneer of moral perfection at all costs. The video above explores the issue “what to do about idol bullying?” in a more general sense and is worth a watch if you care about this issue.

That’s all for this post! Kpopalypse will return soon, but in the meantime remember that the latest Kpopalypse survey is now live, so don’t forget to participate! Stay safe, caonimas!