Behind the Wheel- Interstate/Highway



Once you find your exit ramp, wait until the last minute to merge from the road you’re on, cutting in front of someone else with the insight to get in the lane a little earlier. And yes, hit that gas hard and screech away, they call it the acceleration lane for a reason! Come up fast to others in front of you in the merge lane and make them uncomfortable too, it’s your road...not theirs'. Just go ahead and merge onto the highway whenever you like, remembering not to use your turn signals.



The speed limit is just a number and the speed of traffic is just an illusion. Go at least 20 mph over the limit. I love the interstate; there’s so much room to do whatever I want. Bullying others to move into the adjacent lane by coming up on them as if they’re sitting still is just so fun. Trust me, it is. In the rare instance they don’t get out of your way, make a point to again pass them way too aggressively/cut them off. Will they ever learn? Better hit that gas pedal again as an exclamation point and leave them in your dust.

Arriving at Your Destination



Wasn't that more fun than driving by the “rules” and “common decency?” It’s not over yet. Parking is a way to show your superiority without ever having to be in your vehicle. Use it to your advantage. If you can, find a car parked by itself. If you can’t, just find a car to park next to. Put yourself all the way in the right of your parking space, almost in the space next to you. That way, you have tons of space to swing your door open, while at the same time, making it almost impossible for the owner of the other car to open theirs. Now you can go buy some Ed Hardy t-shirts or whatever you were planning on doing. And have fun thinking that when you get back in your truck/car/suv, you get to do it all over again on the way home!



