Despite the size of the family and their reality-TV fame, the oldest four sisters on 19 Kids and Counting — Jana, 24; Jill, 22; Jessa, 21; and Jinger Duggar, 20 — insist they're not that different from other twentysomethings. ("We're just like any other girl, normal struggles and challenges," Jessa says.) But as they make clear in their new book Growing Up Duggar, the sisters do have very specific beliefs about sex and relationships, one they know not every young woman will agree with. They spoke to Cosmopolitan.com about why they're OK with being virgins, what they think of Miley Cyrus and their accidental sips of alcohol.

You've been very vocal about your views about sex. How do you deal with temptation?

Jessa: I think in all relationships, [our] goal is just to maintain purity. We tend to take the courtship route, which is not just little hookups here and there, but really considering his character. Sometimes it's so easy to say like, "Oh, this guy is cute," and then go with it instead of sitting back and saying, "Is this someone I really want as a future spouse, like someone who will make a good dad to my kids?"

So at what point would you hook up with a guy?

Jessa: We've set our guidelines really high, and people will not understand that. They'll be like, "That's weird. How are you going to show you really love the guy if you're not having sex with him before marriage?" But that's where we purpose in this stage of our relationship to focus on building strong communication because anyone can just go out and have sex. [As] time goes on, maybe at engagement, we'll talk about hand holding, but we want to save our first kiss for marriage, too.

So you've never kissed anyone?

Jessa: Nope — well, I mean my brothers! I think all of us girls have really purposed to save our first kiss for our wedding day.

Have you ever been curious about what it's like?

Jessa: I can't say I haven't been, but it's the anticipation, the suspense! It's like Christmas morning, you know? Open this special package so it'll be fun!

Are you going to ask anyone for advice?

Jessa: I'm sure I'll be getting advice from people who are good kissers!

Like who?

Jessa: My parents are pretty good kissers! They very much like to show their kiss in public places, so they kiss in front of us all the time. [And I'd ask] my oldest brother. He's been married for five years. And friends and people around me who I look up to. But I don't think it's too hard to figure out though.

Have you ever gotten any heat for being virgins?

Jessa: In today's day and time it's a little bit strange to be in your early 20s and have not had sex, but it's how our parents did it. It's how our grandparents did it. We have a self-respect where we feel confident in who we are, even apart from having a sexual relationship. In a monogamous relationship where it's just one man and one woman there's like a zero percent chance of you contracting that type of sexually transmitted disease, but when you're promiscuous and just go out and live like however — having sex with every guy who comes along — then there's a huge chance, a probably 80 percent chance you'll come down with something like that and get something that will really affect you for the rest of your life.

Self-control seems pretty important to you. What are some methods you use and that guys should use?

Jill: Self-control comes from within and being willing to just say, "Hey, I'm not going there. I'm not going past this line. I'm not going to have sex" — you know, whatever your standards are. At the same time you also have to do what the Bible says. If you have any problem with drinking, don't go by the tavern. And if you have a problem with like, "[If] I'm around these certain people, then I'm going to be pressured into having sex," then don't be around them.

Courtesy subject

We've never like intentionally been to a party where we know there's going to be a lot of drinking. I've been on the fire department for a few years, and there's people, young people, 18-year-old girls who have died of an OD. You see the effects, and it really makes you stop and think of the consequences for some of these actions.

Have you ever tasted alcohol? You're over 21.

Jessa: Not on purpose! [Laughs]

Jill: We're really heavily involved in politics, and sometimes it's one of those fancy, ritzy events and they serve you what you think is punch and it's not. You're like, "Oops, yeah, that wasn't punch. That was champagne or something."

What was it like when you accidentally tried it?

Jessa: Like, "What was this? It's disgusting tasting!" [Laughs]

Did you just like spit it out?

Jill: Yeah! Pretty much! Got to be graceful about it!

Jessa: I think it's true you've got to develop a taste for that stuff because it don't taste good.

What's on your playlist these days? What kind of music do you listen to?

Jessa: We enjoy a variety of types of music. Like a lot my siblings listen to bluegrass music or Southern gospel. Some of us like Celtic music so we have a variety. The types of music we would stay away from would probably be anything that's kind of promoting things we don't stand for, like if it's promoting sex, drugs, all that type of stuff.

Have you ever heard Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber?

Jessa: I'm sure we have at one point or another, but it's not something we have on our personal playlist.

What advice would you give stars like Miley?

Jill: It's important for whoever — whether it's Miley, Justin, anyone in the spotlight — to understand they have a whole host of people looking up to them. They're not just speaking for themselves. The heart of the matter is having good character and setting an example. Let's not focus on even the glam and sex but really encouraging good character and taking a stand for purity and respect. Because respect is last in our culture today and in pop stars.

Follow Alyssa on Twitter.

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Photo credit: Courtesy the Duggars

Alyssa Bailey News and Strategy Editor Alyssa Bailey is the news and strategy editor at ELLE.com, where she oversees coverage of celebrities and royals (particularly Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton).

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