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PARTS of the Ireland will be hotter that your first cousin, Sinéad, this week with the rest of the country following not too far behind.

The sexy South East is set to rival Sinéad’s perfectly proportioned frame and firm behind, even surpassing her when she was in her high teens.

“Phwoar, Wexford is going to be absolutely gorgeous on Thursday and Friday,” Meteorologist Tony Ward explains, “I wouldn’t mind giving it a good go later in the week. Don’t get me wrong; Sinéad is pretty hot, but Courtown is going to be way hotter and everyone’s going to want to get in there”.

However, beach-goers are encouraged to enjoy it while they can, as less attractive weather is set to snap back towards the end of the month.

“We’re expecting more of an aunty Maura type outlook as we embark into July,” Ward added, “and we all know the kind of cantankerous cow she can be with a few drinks in her”.

Met Éireann also predicts that the north of the country this week will be generally average in comparison to the south, pointing to more of a best friend’s sister type scenario.

“Donegal, Sligo and much of the North West will be fair enough, but always there waiting if you’re stuck and there’s no other option”.

Outlook for July: Alison from HR.