Customer: Visually distressed apples, such a fancy way of saying bruised!

The Apple Vendor picks up a bruised apple.

Vendor: Either way, this is what happens when the apples don’t listen. Haha.

Customer: Excuse me?

Vendor: Ha, you know, because they’re bruised… (coughs)

Customer: Did you just make a domestic violence joke out of a bruised apple?

Vendor: Uhh, well, um… a visually distressed apple actually, but I didn’t mean to…

Customer: You should be ashamed of yourself.

Customer exits. The vendor looks at the bruised apple.

The Apple: Please don’t hit me.

Vendor: Then shut your mouth apple.