I remember joining Instagram in 2012, it was the year that IG was finally available for my android device. I had spent so much time feeling envious of my peers who were able to utilize IG due to the fact that they had an iPhone. Weirdly enough, my first IG post was a bottle of vodka. Looking back now, I instantly regret it, with the caption: “ breakfast “, oh the things I would change if I could go back but I can’t. Fast forward to the year in which I met my future wife, oddly enough on Instagram in 2014. By the time I met my wife, I had already been through many ups and downs in a previous situation as well as a few others instances where drama and conflict played a major role in ending some would be friendships and relationships. I was hell bent on taking those lessons and utilizing them in my next relationship.

Instagram and social media in general has become a major part of everyday life and so I had the foresight to understand that this tool, this device could have a strange affect on relationships…those being family, friendships, work and romantic connections. Social media has become a place where being connected means being disconnected from the most important people in your life. I’ve watched this digital machine wreck and cause conflict in the relationships of so many of my peers and as mentioned above, I’ve had instances where it heavily affected my personal relationships.

The year in which I would eventually meet my wife was the year that I decided to limit my social media imprint and luckily her direct message screamed out at me as I’d constantly find myself deleting messages that were all most likely saying the same things, recycled lines, showing interest or running game. The irony of me thinking it would be impossible to take someone serious and yet my entire life would change after meeting this woman.

In the year of 2016, I decided to purge my way down to a smaller number in terms of I followed. That was also the year when I truly realized that I wasn’t the average IG or social media user. I had become a taste maker, fully a creative and I literally had no time to consume content because I was too busy creating it. Social media had also become a distraction. I found myself splitting a good amount of time between the scrolling up and down my timeline, trying to finish several books while trying to free up as much time for my relationship as I could. I went from following 100’s to 50, to 30, to 20 in a matter of months and the strangest thing began to happen. I was much happier, increasingly productive and I’d begun to fall more in love with my future wife as I’d taken up admiring her more than staring at a screen for hours. The smaller my following number became, the less interesting my timeline got. I also realized that I had been following a bunch of people who were doing nothing and adding nothing to my life. I followed those people because I was trying to be polite but oh how I’ve learned to stop doing things just to please people who have no concern for me. That 20 became 10 in a matter of days. 10 people, a group of my wife’s family and a few pages that were a bit too interesting to remove just yet. I remember the morning I decided to give my wife’s family the axe, I won’t lie…I WAS EXTREMELY EXCITED for some odd reason, okay, it wasn’t odd…I had my reasons. After the initial backlash and salty reaction I received, I finally decided that this was it and so I unfollowed a bit more. This was strangely a bit more satisfying as I felt like I had let go of this heavy burden or obligation to do things that I didn’t want to do in the first place. A decision that would later be justified (writing a book about that, stay tune…)

Another thing I noticed was that whatever the people I followed “ LIKED “ on Instagram, those post would find their way on my explore page as “ these are what the people you following are liking on Instagram “…imagine my surprise when twerk videos, back shots, thirst traps were making their way to my explore page as the guys I followed were either in a long term relationship and or married (men, you have to do better by your women. I get that it’s just Instagram but that shit is still disrespectful) and that was it….I was finally down to the one person who I should have only followed from the beginning. My biggest fan, my greatest supporter, the only one who deserved my attention, my undivided attention. Coupled with the fact that my explore page is now filled with the appropriate things that I enjoy in this life (photography, art, books) because my account is no longer following the creeps who use Instagram to like the weirdest shit after 1am when their wives or girlfriends are asleep, I have actually found IG a bit more tolerable and easier to manage without all the mess, the distractions and visual clutter. Instead of picking up my phone when I’m bored, I’m more prone to spending that time on either my art or my marriage. I only follow my wife in the real world, she’s the only voice I long to hear and so I believe that should be reflected on everything or anything bearing my name. I only follow my wife because she’s the important thing in my life and on social media. The idea of people discovering me on social media and in that first impression they realize that the most important thing on Instagram to me is this woman who they’ll later discover is my wife is a beautiful thing. I only follow Samantha because I’m making a major statement, a statement that many men are failing to make in this modern time in dating, relationships and marriage….that statement being that I only have time, have eyes, have love, have energy for one woman. In life and in social media, I take pride in finding ways to remind my wife that she’s the only one I want and need. The coolest thing about it is that she never asked me to do it.

I hope you find someone who constantly shows you that you are the most important thing in their lives, in the real world and beyond, in digital, in public, in private. Someone who is consistent and dedicated in all areas in life. The love, respect and attention should not be limited or stop once a person picks up their phone and logs into their social media accounts. We like to say that it’s just social media as a way of dismissing fucked up behavior but what you do and how you use this platform matters.

My wife is the most important things in my life, don’t believe me…check and follow me on Instagram :)