How has being a man changed? For Michael Kimmel, the 64-year-old sociology professor who founded the Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities at Stony Brook University, part of the State University of New York system, that's a tough question. On the one hand, the definition of masculinity has expanded to include traditionally feminine virtues such as being nurturing and a hands-on parent. But until recently, the meaning of manhood had yet to come under scrutiny.

Kimmel has been a target of academic skepticism, especially among those who feel education practically centers on men. But he believes society could benefit from a better understanding of men. Take millennial men, who aspire to "have it all," but face career-ending stigmas when it comes to taking time off for family obligations. Then consider the fact that men are in the news for all the wrong reasons: mental illness, campus sexual assault, terrorism, mass shootings, and violence against black men. If we can begin to discern what drives this behavior, could we possibly find ways to stop it? Kimmel says that's the hope.

Esquire spoke with Kimmel to learn more about how masculinity has evolved over the past 40 years, how young men are redefining their gender, and what this might look like in the future.

First things first, is it harder to be a man today?

I think there's good news and bad news, and it depends a lot on [context]: race, age, sexuality, region. It's a hard question to answer. The more you subscribe to traditional ideas of masculinity, the harder it may be today to construct a healthy idea of masculinity or to navigate this current world.

My father's world was like Don Draper's: Everybody knew their place. The men smoked in elevators and drank hard liquor during the weekday. And I grew up thinking that my world would look like that, and it looks nothing like that. But my son has no such expectations, and he knows it and he's fine with that. Young men say being nurturing, caring, and being a great dad is what being a man is about.

"Guys want support to balance work and family," Kimmel says. "That's not my grandfather's world."

Guys want support to balance work and family—that's not my grandfather's world. If you're clinging tenaciously to this idea that the world is a locker room, you're going to have a harder time navigating this new world. We're more gender equal than we've ever been, and that's especially good for women and children.

What has allowed men to expand their idea of masculinity?

If you look at surveys of young men, they fully expect wives will work outside home. They expect it. They expect that they are going to be awesome dads. They really want to be involved with their kids, and this is across all racial groups. When I started teaching 25 years ago, I'd walk into a lecture and say, "How many of you have a good friend of the opposite sex?" And I'd get maybe 10 percent of the hands. And now I ask and I see all the hands because they are so comfortable with cross-sex friendships.

You make friends with your peers, your equals. What has happened with young people is they're more comfortable with inter-personal gender equality than any other generation in the world. That's going to transfer to workplaces, sexual harassment will decline, and so on.

Do any aspects of this development give you pause?

I think we're not there yet. Although we're more gender equal than ever before, we have a long way to go. Sexual assault, sexual violence, unconscious bias—all of the barriers to women's advancement have not fallen, but I see men moving in that direction. I see us moving toward greater gender equality. The fact that we're concerned about campus sexual assault means that we're no longer tolerant of it.

At the same time, women are outpacing men in many ways.

Yes, women are beginning to outpace them. More in universities, where it's close to 60 [percent of women graduating, as opposed to 40 percent of men] on all college campuses. Programs that have been successful to advance women through management. So that's one side of the ledger.

The other side of that, of course, is that in corporations (STEM and IT), 47 percent of women leave. There's still a lot of attrition, a failure to retain. The numbers are staggeringly skewed when you look at the number of women in the C-suite. It's still about 4 percent. Yes, we've made enormous progress, but we have a long way to go. I don't have to tell you, look at the masthead at Esquire. Do I think women are taking over? No. Do I think it's the end of men? No. Do I think it's the end of casual, assumed, taken-for-granted male entitlement? Yes. It's a both ends kind of answer.

"Do I think it's the end of men? No. Do I think it's the end of casual male entitlement? Yes."

When we talk about masculinity, what's being left out of the conversation?

The women's movement allowed women to come out of the closet as workers, as interested in having careers. It protected women from violence and abuse but ultimately enabled them to be as ambitious, confident, and assertive as they wanted to be. Those words were coded as masculine traits. Now we know because I'm talking to a female journalist that there's nothing inherently masculine about being competent or assertive. Women said, "We want to be human and nurturing and caring—things that are coded as feminine."

The first half of the equation was single-mindedly careerist, emotionally shut down, and [emotionally unavailable] at home. The second half of that equation is what I'm seeing among men: being nurturing, caring, and loving at no sacrifice to their masculinity. Men believe that, they feel that way. Men are also saying, "Wait, we have children, partners, aging parents, and we are loving and kind and nurturing to them, and that's also part of being human." Now, in a way, men are beginning to embrace their full humanity, but adding to it the half that we have denied ourselves for so long. This isn't some feminist cabal of women saying they need to change men. This is men saying, "Look at me with my kids, I'm awesome."

Jill Krasny Senior Writer Jill Krasny is a senior writer for Esquire where she covers lifestyle, books and general news.

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