Super exciting transit news! Metro is gearing up to break ground on Expo Line Phase 3 to Catalina Island. Thanks to funding and technology provided by tech visionary Tony Stark, the train will run under the Pacific and eliminate the need for boat travel, relieving congestion on the waves.

“I’m really excited for this project,” said Joe Lemon, who sits in the adjoining cubicle, eliminating the need for me to pick up the phone or walk to someone else’s office to get a quote. “I get seasick so I’ve never been able to visit Catalina, but now I can! I heard the tunnel will be made of clear material, too, so we’ll be able to fish-watch as we ride.”

The project, more popularly known as the ‘California Chunnel,’ will finally connect the vital transit corridor between Santa Monica and Avalon. The project is expected to be completed by 2130 in time for the Catalina Wine Mixer, the biggest helicopter leasing event in the Western Hemisphere since 1997.

“Stark Industries specializes in building infrastructure sexy enough to be targeted by the scum of the universe,” Stark said. “If so, we also specialize in saving the infrastructure we build.”

Metro is also exploring adding a Scuba Car, which will stop halfway between the island and mainland. Those with scuba gear will have 15 minutes to explore the surrounding area. Those without scuba gear will have approximately two minutes to explore. If that’s not enough time for you, we advise that you definitely do not sit in the Scuba Car.

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