DUNCANVILLE, TX—Beckoning the boy to come closer so “Nana can feel those washboard abs,” local grandmother Shirley Paulson was reportedly amazed Monday by how fuckable her grandson has gotten since she last saw him. “My, Jackson, you are really growing into quite the grade-A slice of man meat! Ooh, I just want to pinch your tight little ass cheeks,” said the 83-year-old, embracing the 18-year-old while remarking that pretty soon he will be “slaying poon like nobody’s business.” “Heavens! When did you get this gigantic bulge of yours? Oh, I bet all the little girls at school already want to bang the shit out of you—tell me, Jackson, do you have a fuck buddy yet? Goodness gracious. What I did for God to bless me with so many sexy little numbers as grandchildren? I must be the proudest, wettest grandma in the world.” Paulson added that the 18-year-old is just as fuckable as his dad was at that age.

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