Story highlights April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month

To mark the month, survivors share their stories in powerful first-person videos

(CNN) If Adam slept through the night, he knew, it would be good day. But that didn't happen often, even after a relative stopped raping him.

Now 34, Adam says the abuse began when he was 14 and stopped as soon as he turned 18. His relative warned him that if he told their family, it would kill Adam's grandfather. So he kept it to himself and dreamed of killing himself, killing his abuser, killing others.

Dreamed of swimming in a pool of blood.

He finally started talking about the abuse with friends in 2009. He couldn't take it anymore. After his grandfather died, he decided to tell his parents. They believed him, he said.

"The one regret I have is that I didn't speak up sooner," he told CNN, asking that his last name not be used.

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