It was one of the more gruesome hockey injuries captured on television. In 1989, Buffalo Sabres goalie Clint Malarchuk's jugular vein was cut accidentally by a player's skate. He healed from his injuries and played hockey again, but it took a long time for him to heal from the mental trauma of the incident.

"Just man-up and get back as quick as you can," Malarchuck said he told himself at the time.

But after the accident, he spiralled into mental illness and, eventually, alcoholism.

"What became little predispositions to anxiety and depression, and OCD really threw me over the top."

He said he had nightmares and intrusive thoughts.

"I couldn't turn my mind off. It was racing all the time."

I couldn't turn my mind off. It was racing all the time. - Clint Malarchuk, Saskatoon Morning interview

Malarchuk said he sought medical treatment, but he struggled for many years before he started to make progress. In the process, he tackled some long standing issues, such as anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder, which he had experienced since childhood.

"I look back, I didn't feel like a normal kid at all," he said.

Malarchuk spiralled into mental illness after his accident in 1989

He said as a young person his obsessive compulsive disorder actually worked in his favour when it came to being a hockey player. Malarchuk worked out frequently, even as a 12-year-old player, and focused on his routines.

There have been strides in helping accept and recognize mental illness among athletes, Malarchuk said. But he adds that there is still a stigma. He still struggles to this day."Some days are very easy for me. And some days I really have to work," he said. Right now he said he's healthy and in a good place.

Malarchuk has co-written a book about his experiences called The Crazy Game: How I Survived the Crease and Beyond. And he's in Saskatoon to do a reading on Tuesday evening.