I had better first explain how I came about this Russian-made visual novel game ‘Deep Dark Fantasy’.

I am a gay of many pleasures, one of those pleasures being corny eortic visual novels.On the different discussion sites I browse for these games, I heard talk of a “BDSM Eortic Visual Noval” that had managed to be released on Steam. Without looking into it any further I bought Deep Dark Fantasy on the Steam Halloween sale for 2 quid!

I should've taken the mostly negative reviews on steam as the first sign that this game isn't all that it's cracked up to be, but at the time I put that down to the game being a niche homoerotic game on steam, which tend to review poorly. How wrong I was…

The game reads like an erotic airport novel written by a 15 year old whose only exposure to the kink world is 50 Shades of Grey. It has so many inaccurate views of the BDSM world that it's actually quite painful to

have to experience it if you are into BDSM even a little.

DO IT YOURSELF

Before we actually go deep into the reasons why this game is god-awful, I’m going to show you how to make some Deep Dark Fantasy graphics of your own! Step one, get a photo of a really handsome man. For this example I’ve chosen Jeremy Corbyn.

Load your chosen image of Corbyn into Paint.NET, go to ‘Effects>Distort>Pixelate’, and set it to 14. Bingo! You now have the ground work for starting your own Deep Dark Corbyn game!

A TOUCH OF CLASS

The game starts with a disclaimer that “all characters, events, and places are fictitious, and any coincidences with real people or people who have ever lived is accidental”. This is a blatant lie, but I will go into that later. This is then followed by a bunch of disclaimers with a handy ‘If you do not like anything - turn the game off NOW’ which leads me to believe this game was made by a 14 year old 4chan poster.

Okay, so on to the story part of the visual novel. Brace yourself, it’s going to get confusing. You play as Van Harkholme, a failed actor and porn star who plans to turn his house into a BDSM dungeon. Van Harkholme is quite clearly based on Van Darkholme, a gay porn star who turned his real life house into a BDSM dungeon. “Any coincidences with real people or people who have ever lived is accidental” indeed.

Here is a photo of Van Darkholme, along with a screenshot from the title screen in the game.







Using my Deep Dark Corbyn technique that I taught you earlier, you can see just how lazy Nikito (developer/publisher) has been. The dialog is ripped straight from an interview with Darkholme, and every scene in the game is taken from one of his bondage movies.

By the time you have read this, you could have played the whole of Deep Dark Fantasy twice over. The game is a solid 3-5 minutes long, with 2 choices in game. The fact that Valve allowed this garbage on Steam is offensive to gays and game designers alike.

THE PLOT THICKENS

Let’s finish summarizing the “plot”. Van wants to turn his house into a real BDSM dungeon. Then he goes to the gym to work out in full leather, and gets into a fight with ‘Billy Kerrington’ who is the owner of the gym. Just as a side note, Billy Kerrington is definitely not Billy Herrington, another gay porn star who Van Darkholme has had a scene with.Surprise surprise, the scene is just screenshots taken from the porno and pixelated.

Van loses the fight and wants revenge! But then he opens up his dungeon and gets some slaves. The story just jumps to this point, with no idea how he built said dungeon, but he has for some reason.. The developer clearly doesn't understand how a dominant/slave relationship works, and seems to believe that they are actual slaves. Even in Van Darkholme’s movies all the sex is consensual and websites such as BoundGods and Kink.com (who Van Darkholme has worked for) hammer home this point on their pages. In the developer’s minds the slaves are slaves and can’t leave. When two slaves ‘escape’ the dungeon, they are brought back and Van Harkholme has to decide how to punish them.

This is one of the only two choices in the game. I went for the sex option, because I'm an awful person.

“I will spank you now and then I will fuck you hard” Van Harkholme exclaims. THIS ISN'T HOW ANYONE TALKS. I’m not sure if Nikito is gay or is in the “gay lol xD” camp. I’m leaning more towards the latter, because he hasn't got the faintest idea of how BDSM works, and his writing is so god awful that you can tell when he's stealing dialog directly from one of their pornos - the writing drastically improves.

After the first choice of the game, the slaves revolt against Van and overpower him and escape. Then in the next scene they have come back begging for forgiveness and have kidnapped Billy as an offering, where you get the final choice in the game - to kill him or let him live.

Thats fucking it. Is this game of those computer game may-mays? This game isn't written for gay people, and doesn’t even remotely reflect any type of BDSM, so I feel like the devs made this because... they think gay sex is funny? They’re trying to be edgy with rape and murder? I just don’t get it.

Oh, and this game has a upcoming sequel coming out on November the 11th, which is a space invaders game where you play as Van’s head shooting as Billy heads with pixel penises.

This is what happens when children are raised by the internet.

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