I love college football. Probably more than I like watching the NFL. One of the better parts of college football is the history associated with the schools. Now, to change things up — and to cash in on sycophant alumni and students — many teams use several different jerseys. But, there are a handful of teams that should never touch their uniforms.

This is not to say that no college team should play with their uniforms. Oregon always looks cool no matter what they wear. The Michigan State Spartan Warrior uniforms are great. But. There are some teams that shouldn’t be messed with.

5. University of Iowa

This might seem a bit random. The Hawkeyes just look cool. The yellow and black pops on television. But, this school has one of the best color schemes. It’s a classic combination and the lines are clean.

Also, as a writer, I’ve always wanted to go to the Iowa Writer’s Workshop. But you can’t watch the writers on TV, so the football team is as close as I get.

Though, every time I see them I first think I’m watching a Steelers game.

4. University of Texas

Texas has one of the best uniforms.

For one, the burnt orange looks cool, and it’s unique as half the schools are red and white or blue and white. Plus, these uniforms look great during night games. But, the best feature of Texas is the helmet. The burnt orange long horn on the side on the white field captures the school and the state perfectly. Though if Nike had their way, these helmets would have actual horns on them.

Also — and this is mostly nostalgia talking — I think the National Championship between Texas and USC was the greatest football game I ever watched. The orange and white confetti that fell was super memorable.

3. University of Southern California

The Trojans have a unique color scheme. The second you see these colors you know it’s USC. The school is intimately tied with the glitz and glamor of LA, and these uniforms look like the ones you’d pick for a movie. Though, I can just see some advertising executive thinking, “What if we dress them like real Trojans, that’d hip, right?" And then I’d have to watch Stanford play a game agains the Praetorian Guard.

(Note: I realized I combined two different, two very different, historical periods, but it sounds better, and don’t let facts get in the way of a good story.)

2. Notre Dame

Here’s the thing.

I know no one likes Notre Dame fans, or the school, and Brian Kelly is a psycho that’s two seconds from actually stabbing a player, but these uniforms are awesome. The navy blue with the gold hasn’t changed much over the last hundred years because they nailed it the first time around. And, the helmets (every single Notre Dame fan you meet will tell you that the helmets are painted with 24 karat gold.)

P.S. Rudy has a lot to do with them being here.

P.P.S. also, if there’s a team on this list that I would allow to change their uniforms it would be Notre Dame. Those green jersey’s are awesome.

1. University of Michigan

I don’t actually even like Michigan that much, which is a capitol offense in the state in which I currently reside.

I think Jim Harbaugh is crazy. Michigan fans are kind of annoying. They will gladly tell you about the winning history and all the championships (most of which predate the forward pass). They love that stupid big block M. Like, I get it, it's a dope letter. It’s the first letter of my name, I like it too. But, I don’t want it tattooed on my forehead like every Michigan fan secretly wants.

And, you’re not special. The Jordan brand is Nike with the Jumpman logo. Michael Jordan doesn’t care about you. All he cares about is gambling and ruining the Hornets. And, their silly yellow uniforms make them look like Bumblebee Halloween costumes.

But, those regular uniforms are great. You can’t hardly go into any building here without seeing at least one picture of Michigan football players, and they always look cool. So, leave well enough alone.

Also, it doesn’t matter anyway because in two years Jim Harbaugh is going to change the colors to khaki and fill all the water bottles with milk.

EDIT: Also, get over yourselves. Maize and Blue? It’s yellow. Stop being pretentious.