Whenever one starts, everything slows down. The ground beneath me feels hollow and I know I'm about to drop below, but I know it's not Mother Earth’s fault. She did the best she could to shield me, but this time, I have to deal with my own quaking. First, if I'm holding a cup of liquid, you can see the liquid bounce like in “Jurassic Park” when the T-rex nears. Next, I have to set the cup down and buckle down the hatches because this quaking leads to my breath going away from my body, like birds flying away just before the earthquake happens. Next, I'm swallowed up in my own thoughts, and my tears flow like the tsunami that comes after. Except, the tsunami is already here, the earthquake is already here, and yet I'm left there alone with nothing to hide under because at that point, I'm no longer a person and I don't die. I just have to wait for everything to happen and to eventually capture my breath and stick it back inside me, because in all of that chaos, the thing I can focus on is my breathing. 4 seconds in, hold for 5 and release for 8. Usually, it takes about 4 times, but at least I can stop drowning in my own tears.

Now you'd think these panic attacks would be known to people I love, but I'm not even sure what to tell them.

(Special thanks to Drew)