Dear Stoner: I read that pouring a beer in your butt will get you wasted faster. Could I do the same with pot?

Enema Stone

Dear Enema Stone: Don’t boof your buds to get high, dude. Don’t boof anything, for that matter. Shoving drugs like ketamine or alcohol up your ass (known as “boofing” among scholarly wooks and “butt chugging” in the frat crowd) takes advantage of the high amount of blood vessels and capillaries in the rectum, which speed up the absorption process for faster, stronger intoxication. But it can quickly turn into overdosing and alcohol poisoning for those stupid enough to try it.

Bending over should not be required to consume cannabis. Shutterstock.com/ Mr.Nikon

There are such things as cannabis-infused suppositories, but they’re not for recreational purposes. Patients suffering from cancer, extreme bouts of pain and other debilitating afflictions typically use them for a stronger form of relief that can last up to eight hours. However, cannabis-infused suppositories aren’t psychoactive, so boofing pot wouldn’t bring the head change you were hoping for. Keep those cheeks closed, please.

Send questions to marijuana@westword.com.