AUSSIE cricket fans searching desperately for news to cheer them up after the national team’s early exit from the Champions Trophy probably have one message for England right now: Thankyou.

Ridiculing the Poms is so fashionable even the English themselves have joined in.

And why wouldn’t you have a chuckle at Eoin Morgan’s men after a humiliating loss to Pakistan in the semi-finals of the Champions Trophy.

The hosts were skittled for just 211 on the penultimate ball of their innings as a bumbling top order failed to convert starts into meaningful contributions. England lost wickets at regular intervals, unable to establish any significant partnerships as Hasan Alo (3/35) and Rumman Raees (2/44) led the way with the ball.

Life didn’t improve after the innings break. Azhar Ali (76), Fakhar Zaman (57), Babar Azam (38 not out) and Mohammad Hafeez (31 not out) combined to ensure Pakistan thrashed the Poms by eight wickets, romping home with nearly 13 overs to spare.

It was carnage, and a demoralising result for a team that had backed itself to win the trophy before the tournament began. It didn’t take long for the excuses to start coming.

“I don’t think there was any home advantage,” Eoin Morgan said about the pitch. “We knew that we were going to play on a used wicket at some stage in this tournament, and certainly we found out the other day that today was going to be on a used wicket.

“Today, coming from Edgbaston, it was obviously a big jump in pace and bounce and too much of an ask for us to adjust to really.

“I felt like we were trying to take a positive option against them, but obviously, given the conditions, it didn’t allow us to do that.”

Morgan said the Pakistani batsmen were able to deal with the surface so easily because “they played two days ago on it”.

Well, Pakistan’s legendary fast bowler and former coach Waqar Younis wasn’t buying Morgan’s words, and neither was Sri Lankan great Kumar Sangakkara.

Stop giving that lame excuse Eoin Morgan regarding the used pitch,,,,You guys been thrashed fair n square by Pakistan #CT2017 #PakvsEng — waqar younis (@waqyounis99) June 14, 2017

Nothing wrong with the pitch in Cardiff. @TheRealPCB adapted better and played better. Comprehensive win over england. — Kumar Sangakkara (@KumarSanga2) June 14, 2017

‘THAT’S WHAT YOU CALL A GOOD D***ING’

To make matters worse, the gibes weren’t only coming from overseas. Former England skipper Nasser Hussain said Morgan’s assertion the pitch was to blame for the result was “disrespectful”.

“There will be a lot of talk about the Cardiff pitch after Pakistan dumped England out of the Champions Trophy. But that won’t wash with me,” Hussain wrote for The Daily Mail.

“It’s disrespectful to Pakistan, who played brilliantly and made the best of the conditions.

“Their coach Trevor Bayliss has always asked for them to play smart cricket, not just gung-ho cricket. This was anything but smart. In fact, it was timid. After two years of positive one-day batting, that is the biggest disappointment.”

Ashes-winning captain Michael Vaughan laid out the ugly truth on social media, before calling the loss one of “the biggest disappointments” in many years.

Well that's what you call a good Dicking ..... #ENGvPAK — Michael Vaughan (@MichaelVaughan) June 14, 2017

“England were circumspect. They were too watchful and this was one of the biggest disappointments we have had from an English team in many years,” Vaughan wrote for The Telegraph.

“I feel flatter about this defeat than when they were knocked out of the 2015 World Cup (where England failed to make it out of the group stage).

“Here they had every facet covered with 10 of the 11 players in form and the side playing a style of cricket that makes them a match for any team in the world, so to play that badly in a semi-final, with everything riding on the game, was terribly disappointing.”

Another ex-England leader, Michael Atherton, said a “meek and timid” outfit suffered stage fright and failed to live up to some lofty pre-tournament expectations.

“What will frustrate England the most is that on the big stage, in the big game, we’ve not really seen them give a true account of themselves,” Atherton told Sky Sports. “That was down to a combination of things, but England definitely fluffed their lines.

“There were huge expectations they’d go on to win the tournament, I think justifiably so on the back of what they’ve done over the last year-and-a-half.

“What we’ve seen is pretty meek and timid performance today. England have been anything but since the World Cup — they’ve played some fantastic one-day cricket, it has been a privilege to watch it.

“As a result, the bar was set very high for this tournament, and they’ve failed to deliver — that’s the brutal truth of sport.

“They had the chance to show this new breed of English one-day cricket on a knockout stage but just didn’t show their true form today. It’s a shame for them, but that’s the way it goes in these major tournaments.”

‘SHOCKING INEPTITUDE AND FEEBLENESS’ JUST ‘INEXPLICABLE’

The Sun’s John Etheridge was scathing in his assessment of a performance that only served to unite fans in their disappointment.

“What the heck happened there? England departed the Champions Trophy in a wave of misery, humiliation and unanswered questions,” Etheridge wrote.

“They didn’t just lose to Pakistan in Cardiff, they produced a performance of quite shocking ineptitude and feebleness.

“After two years of playing aggressive, fearless one-day cricket and entering the semi-finals as the only team with a 100 per cent record, England’s meek and mild performance was almost inexplicable.

“Make no mistake, this is a huge setback to England, head coach Trevor Bayliss and team supremo Andrew Strauss, who have played such an emphasis on one-day cricket.”

Etheridge savaged both the willow-wielders and the leather-flingers. Nobody was spared.

“England’s attack served up what can only be described as a pile of dross,” he wrote.

“It is difficult to think they (the batsmen) froze in a global tournament semi-final. Perhaps they were just confused as to what was a par score when batting first on a tricky, used pitch.

“England didn’t manage to score more than six runs in any of the final 25 overs of their innings. They hit no sixes at all. It was cricket in slow motion.

“Morgan and his men might say the pitch was more like Karachi than Cardiff and suited Pakistan but that is no excuse. The surface looked decent enough when England’s bowlers were being flogged.

“So England continue to be historically the worst one-day country in the world. Stretching back to 1975, they have competed in 19 global tournaments and won precisely zero.”

Writing for The Mirror, Dean Wilson said England was “mugged” by a Pakistan team that has been so poor of late, both against England and plenty of other nations.

“England’s failure to adapt meant they were mugged in their own tournament, by a side they marmalised four times out of five last summer and who were lucky to have got as far as they had,” he wrote.

“Regardless of the pitch Pakistan were outstanding and completely outplayed, outwitted, and out-skilled England in every department.

“And just over a year on from a devastating defeat in the final of a World T20, England have crashed out a round earlier and in far less dramatic style. Somehow this loss seems worse. It wasn’t even close.”

Paul Newman of the Daily Mail slammed England for dishing up its worst performance since the 2015 World Cup.

“What a time for England to produce their worst one- day performance since the debacle of the last World Cup,” Newman wrote.

“This was not just a semi-final beating for England in the Champions Trophy, it was an absolute hammering just when it seemed they were destined to end their long wait for a first global title in the longer limited-overs game.

“England froze just when it mattered most. They played with the fear that appeared to have been eradicated from their game by a captain in Eoin Morgan and a coach in Trevor Bayliss who have done so much to make them fearless.”