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Yet for real healing to occur, I think we need to ask ourselves: Are we ready, as a society, to listen to the male victim? Can we create both virtual and face-to-face culturally safe spaces to listen, without co-opting the female space — to listen, especially to male youth?

This question resonates with me as a child abuse and dating violence expert. And it resonates with my team of researchers in boys’ and men’s health in McMaster University’s Department of Pediatrics and the Offord Centre for Child Studies.

If we listen, perhaps we can transform the current of toxic masculinity towards the alternative — a compassionate masculinity.

Disrupting the cycle of toxic masculinity

A 2011 review of the prevalence of child sexual abuse around the world shows that it’s a female-dominant issue — about one in five girls and one in 13 boys globally are sexually abused.

A more recent 2017 review shows male victimization rates of about five per cent of school youth globally, rising to 16 per cent among high-risk youth such as those forced to live on the street at times.

These statistics tell us that there are tens of millions of male children and teens who confront sexual abuse, as well as girls and young women.

To understand and prevent male violence against both women and men, and then to disrupt the cycle of toxic masculinity and trauma, we need to check our biases on who is socially “accepted” as a victim. The words of one victim summarize this: “A boy, being a victim, nobody really buys that, you know?”