Me: “And here’s your waffle, sir, with bacon on the side.”

Customer: “What? No, I didn’t order this. I ordered the bacon egg and cheese omelette.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I have it written down that you got a waffle with bacon. I will have to fix that.”

Customer’s Wife: “No, you will not. He ordered the waffle. I heard him.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t. I specifically ordered the omelette. I know I did.”

Customer’s wife: “No, honey! We had the conversation on which one you were going to get. You told me you were going to get the omelette, and it surprised me when you didn’t.”

Customer: “Then why didn’t you say something?”

Customer’s wife: “Because you always ask my opinion, and say that’s what you’ll do. Then you change your mind! I just figured you were ignoring my opinion again!”

Customer: “Well, fine. I guess I’ll have to eat this.”

Me: “Are you sure? I can change it.?”

Customer: “Actually, would you?”

Customer’s Wife: “No! You ordered it, you eat it.”

Customer: *to me:* “That’s what she says to the kids.”