FULL of phoney emotion and empty slogans, the new ‘feminist’ Gillette advert is as likely to get the average bloke to buy their razor blades as a video showing them being first used by heroin-addicts.

Supposedly championing the #Metoo movement, it appeals only to slimy pseudo-feminist creeps whose drippy Mr-Nice-Guy routine is their signature move.

9 Writer Nirpal says Gillette's latest controversial ad is men-bashing

It’s the only tool in their box during their largely futile efforts to worm their way into women’s knickers.

The average female sees straight through these wimps, but sadly the ad will inspire the naive as well as sinister opportunists to pose as protectors of women, thinking she will love him for it.

When I mention it to a mate he sums it up perfectly: “It’s “bulls**t”.

“These shaving and aftershave companies spent the past 50 years telling men to be like Dirty Harry, and now suddenly they’re saying they were wrong all along. Gillette is no different to Bono, jumping on a high-profile bandwagon.”

9 Is this the most ridiculous moment in the whole ad?

If I was bald, weighed five stone more and suffered a penis deformation, I might use Gillette’s ‘be-the-good-guy’ tactic myself. But for the time being, I know better — as does any intelligent man.

Every interaction between men and women in the ad is portrayed as the prelude to an assault, as it discourages any sort of flirtation or play between the sexes.

The most ridiculous moment is when a nerdy dork intervenes to prevent a handsome muscular Adonis from introducing himself to a beautiful woman who walks by, telling him “it’s not cool”: a loser’s move inspired by no concern for her, but sour and spineless envy.

9 Nirpal says the ad is aimed at loveless 'woke' men

Even Beyonce would’ve been happy to say hello to that guy, but the pseudo-feminist c**k-blocker had to sabotage the love of the century just so he didn’t have to see yet another man triumph where he lacked the balls to even go.

A lot of weak and stupid men think signalling their GCSE Women’s Studies coursework is a way to impress the ladies, not realising the disgust it generally provokes in them.

There’s plenty of scientific research to show that women — feminists especially — don’t find ‘woke’ men attractive and much prefer guys who have got a bit of ‘alpha’ about them.

But maybe Gillette crafted the ad specifically for that lucrative and growing demographic of loveless men who spend Saturday nights indoors, shaving their legs and perineum — probably their nuts, too — in preparation for that lonely long-distance Sunday-morning bicycle-ride along the canal to end up reading The Guardian on their own with their vegan pub-lunch?

9 The ad promoted male self-loathing, Nirpal says.

Who shaves nowadays anyway? Cool guys know they can grow a beard bushier than Osama Bin Laden’s and girls will still like them — more so, even.

Gillette is just cynically tapping the insecurities of the latest generation of over-moisturised ‘New Men’ who desperately want a road-map for how to succeed with the opposite sex.

The whole thing treats the viewer like an idiot. But there are lot of idiots out there who buy into the fiction of ‘toxic masculinity’: a lie made up by embittered septic-feminists, who, unsatisfied by the booming male mental-illness and suicide rate, want to make boys and young men feel even more lost and confused regarding their gender.

9 Nirpal Singh Dhaliwal is a journalist and author Credit: Corbis - Getty

Men account for approximately three quarters of all suicides. It’s the most likely cause of death for men aged 20-49. And while men suffer from depression as much as women, they are much less likely to seek help for it.

Adverts aimed at women — like Dove’s ‘Love Your Body’ campaign — encourage women to like themselves and each other more, this one by Gillette only promotes male self-loathing and mutual suspicion.

It actually goads men to compete over women like apes as they thwart one another’s attempt to find a mate.

And if Gillette is so feminist, why does their latest ad patronise women, portraying them as pathetic cowards unable to stick up for themselves and in need of male saviours.

9 Nirpal says Gillette's new ad is the opposite of something like Dove's Love Your Body campaign Credit: Dove

It’s not a feminist ad but just another cartoon of male heroism.

A genuinely pro-woman commercial would’ve shown her punching her tormentor in the face or cutting him off at the knees with an acid remark: precisely the kind of response a real man likes in a woman.

But it’s the attitude to men that stinks the most.

9 According to Gillette having a BBQ is now a crime for men, says Nirpal

Apparently even having a barbecue in the back garden of their suburban homes — which they work themselves to death to provide for their families — is something men should be ashamed of.

The ad is contemptuous of the efforts men make to provide, though men are already deeply conflicted about their roles and whether they should spend more time as care-givers.

Sadly this torment is on the rise.

The Times reported last month that the majority of middle-aged fathers live in a state of almost uniform despair, torn between the demands of work and family-life.

Almost none of the men questioned could say they were happy, and many suffered a stress-related physical illness.

9 Nirpal says advertisers are sending so many mixed messages it's caused a crisis in masculinity Credit: Handout

“I can’t win,” says a good friend of mine. “Either I’m working too hard, or I’m not around enough for my kids.

"Changing to a job that earns less money, however, isn’t an option. My wife wants me to make more money and help more at home."

And advertisers are contributing to the mixed-messages.

Just look at David Beckham, once the nation’s icon for clean living, now promoting a brand of beginner’s whiskey.

9 A Gillette ad from the 50s Credit: Alamy

A report by the market research company Mintel showed that men are now portrayed in adverts the way women were in the 1950s: either stupid or pretty.

Chiselled eye-candy or bumbling domestic buffoons who can’t manage a broadband connection are the two stereotypes that dominate, while women are increasingly shown as dynamic career women hampered by male incompetence.

During a time when men are more introspective and vulnerable than ever, when they’re increasingly trying to improve themselves and their relationships with women, this ad is just an unscrupulous attempt to cash-in on the #MeToo movement but does the cause no favours whatsoever.

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