Given the German flag’s problematic brand, I started a little survey among my non-German friends. Should we redesign it? And if so, what would a fresh, unmortgaged German flag look like?

Part of the problem with our flag is that most foreigners, even ones who know a thing or two about Germany, don’t get the depth of discord surrounding it. An Irish friend took issue with the question itself: “Germany has only been using the current one in any noteworthy way since the 2006 World Cup,” which it hosted. “It would be environmentally irresponsible to create a new flag: Think of all that cheap black-red-gold polyester ending up in the landfills.”

But that’s my whole point, I said. That’s how we treat our flag — polyester might as well be the national fabric! My Irish friend didn’t understand. He slunk away while jokingly proposing, as an alternative, the black-and-white Prussian flag.

Next I asked a French friend. He looked at me as he often does when we talk about our countries: as if I had gone mad. He also reminded me of the legendary World Cup in Germany in 2006, the so-called Sommermärchen, when the cities were more or less covered in black-red-gold — and no one took offense.

Again, the details: To make ourselves comfortable with such a display, we Germans had to invent a new term: “party-otismus,” in contrast to, and in parody of, “patriotismus.” So what are we talking about? A flag of revelers, nothing more.

O.K., the French friend conceded, if you want to redesign it, you should do it along the corporate colors that many German banks use for their websites: green and blue, the embodiment of seriousness and reliability. He wasn’t being ironic.

The same color proposal came from a friend in Ukraine, although with a different reasoning. “I would suggest you use a green stripe” — the color of Islam — “instead of the black, so that your Turkish citizens get their share at last.”