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Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? Or at least the oddest?

Along with its abundance of country fairs and urban fests, California is also home to some rather unexpected attractions, from Long Beach’s Pirate Invasion and Mermaid Festival (June 30-July 1) to Columbia’s Poison Oak Show (Sept. 29), which is just like a flower show. But with poison oak. And prizes for best rash. Here are seven distinctly quirky parades and races:

1 Bastille Day Waiters Race, Sacramento

French waiters always manage to look impeccable as they swan around a dining room, holding a tray of bottles and glasses aloft. C’est vrai! Now imagine them madly hotfooting it through downtown Sacramento on a hot summer day. Mais oui! The Bastille Day Race will be July 14.

2 Outhouse Races, Big Bear Lake

Big Bear Lake recaptures its pioneer past with an Old Miners Days celebration each summer that includes a chili cookoff, a Fawnskin Doo Dah Parade — billed as the world’s shortest parade — and outhouse races, where the only thing more important than speed is snazzy outhouse decor. It’s not the only town with an outhouse race. Porterville, 50 miles north of Bakersfield, has one, too.

3 Kinetic Grand Championship Race, Arcata

Amphibious monsters and steampunk sharks? For nearly 50 years, this North Coast race has unleashed the creative (and truly bonkers) genius of local artists and makers, who craft elaborate, human-powered vehicles — part sculpture, part Mad Max — to race through streets, sand, mud and waves during the three-day, 40-mile event held every Memorial Day weekend. (You may have missed this year’s race, but Eureka’s new Kinetic Museum is open every weekend.)

4 Golf Cart Parade, Palm Desert

This procession of elaborately adorned golf carts has been a Palm Desert tradition since the early 1960s, when the parade was held in the middle of summer and its “Christmas in July” themes saw a whole lot of tinseled, jingle-belled decor. These days, the parade is an October tradition — and themes range from Area 51 to last year’s “desert safari.” This year’s parade will be Oct. 28.

5 Bed Races, Corning

The big Olive Festival in Corning, which is 30 miles northwest of Chico, includes all the olive oil tastings and foodie events you might imagine, plus a Corning Does It Bedder race that sends elaborately painted beds racing down the main drag on bicycle tires. Last year’s event was held in October.

6 Butter & Egg Days Parade, Petaluma

This century-old Sonoma County festival salutes the city’s agricultural past with an April parade that includes what may be the most adorable component ever: The Cutest Little Chick Contest. Parents dress up their babies and tots in chicken suits. Last year’s winner, a 21-month-old dressed in fluffy white feathers, rode in a “Petaluma Incubator” float.

7 Doo Dah Parade, Pasadena

The flamboyant 40-year-old Doo Dah is the polar opposite of the Rose Parade. Instead of rose-adorned floats, this one gets its kicks on the original Route 66 with zany costumed participants and crazy art cars and floats. Among them: the BBQ & Hibachi Marching Grill Team, the Men of Leisure Synchronized Nap Team and a pink Cadillac convertible that was converted into a drive-able swimming pool. Last year’s parade was held in November.