“Three years down the drain.”

“I wish I never met her.”

“I wish he never smiled at me that day.”

These are common thoughts when relationships end.

Saying and thinking such things makes it seem as if the relationship was means to an end. A stepping stone to and end goal like marriage, kids, retiring on the beach, whatever.

The truth is, relationships are beautiful things in themselves, whatever ends up happening. When they end, instead of regret, there should be gratitude for the memories and the experiences shared. There will inevitably be temporary sadness, but the depth of this sadness pales in comparison with all of the shared experiences, the exploration of a world, the merging of souls.

These memories are yours, and no one else’s, forever. It was never a waste of time.

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.

– Dr. Seuss

Even if the person betrays you to the point where you never want to see him or her again, or you grow apart so that you no longer enjoy spending time together, you still have the memories. In those moments, you were happy. You were thoroughly enjoying yourself and your shared life. It was never a waste of time.

All relationships end. Some last a long time and end in death, but they all end. Going into it, you know this.

It’s the same with life. We’re all going to die. Does that mean whatever we do doesn’t matter? That it will have been time wasted? Of course not.

Dive in with abandon. Relish the experience. The only regrets you will ever have result from inaction. Even the sadness of love lost is a beautiful adventure in itself. You can’t understand what it is to be a human without that adventure. Cherish it, because in the end, we are all here for the experience, good and bad.

Ironically, when you view a relationship as an end in itself, it will be more fun, less stressful, and more likely to persist ’til death do you part.