(CNN) I don't know about you, but I'm glad it's the weekend. Time to sit back, relax and enjoy some of the weirdest, wackiest, wildest stories of the week -- such as how a skinny-dipper may have killed an extremely rare fish, why a turtle crossed the road but didn't quite make it, and another example of a spectacular selfie fail.

Posted: NO SWIMMING... no, seriously

You know how it is. You wanna blow off a little steam on a Saturday night, so you and your buds have a few beers, shoot a few rabbits and break into a wildlife refuge. NBD, amiright? So these three guys broke into Devils Hole , a protected area in Death Valley National Park, on April 30 -- all part of a night of drinking and shooting rabbits, police said. One of them went skinny-dipping in the only habitat for one of the world's rarest fish -- the Devils Hole pupfish -- and his adventure was caught on camera. A dead pupfish was found near where the men left some beer cans and dirty boxers. They're now facing federal charges, the Nye County Sheriff's Office said.

80-year-old has nine babies... no, seriously

Nigrita the tortoise, 80, recently hatched nine baby tortoises at the Zurich Zoo in Switzerland , the product of her union with her young (54-year-old) lover, Jumbo. You might think 80 sounds old, but Galapagos tortoises can live to be 150 years old, so in human terms, Nigrita might just be considered a cougar. Of the tortoise variety.

Nigrita, the proud mama pictured above with some of her babies, is 80 years old and weighs 220 lbs.

Why did the turtle cross the road?

Well, he tried, but he didn't quite make it. There he was, this turtle, minding his own business as he strolled on Interstate 4 near Deltona, Florida, on Monday... when BAM! He gets clipped by a car and hurtles through the air (see what I did there?) and BAM! crashes through the windshield of another car. Don't turn away yet, there's a happy ending! The turtle is just fine, the Florida Highway Patrol said. No word, though, whether he'll get a ticket for jaycrawling.

Maybe it was an educational game?

Some Illinois lawmakers were busted by a local TV station for playing video games on their phones and tablets during a debate on education funding in April. And sorry, they're not sorry. One representative told WCIA he didn't need to pay attention during the debate because he knew all about the bill under discussion. Another legislator, who was seen playing Candy Crush on her tablet, said she's been "working to end the budget impasse." The bill did end up passing. We don't know what level the lawmaker achieved, though.

Please don't touch!... no, seriously

Oh, those crazy kids and their selfies! The quest to get ever-more-unique shots is pushing people to new heights, like this guy in Portugal who decided it was a good idea to climb up on a 126-year-old statue of Dom Sebastiao, a king of Portugal in the 1500s. You can guess what happened next. The whole thing fell over and broke into a dozen pieces. The statue, not the selfie-taker. He was apprehended. But how many "likes" did he get?