Completely Unintelligible New TA Looking Forward to an Exciting New Semester

Finishing up his notes and glancing at his watch before leaving for his first recitation, completely unintelligible grad student Rohit Yadav is reportedly delighted to begin his first semester as a Teaching Assistant for Tech. Yadav, who learned English at 14, moved to Georgia at 19, but has been mumbling incoherently since 2, is said to be happy to begin attempting to teach a class of over twenty students in a language he learned from overhearing Cheers reruns while working the register at his father’s store in India.

Ready to spend most of class time repeating himself, trying to speak more slowly, or simply resorting to writing on the board instead, sources close to Yadav confirm his excitement at the chance to be misunderstood and ignored by most of his students every Monday afternoon for the next four months. As students silently filed into the room to take their seats, a beaming Yadav greeted his students with a level of enthusiasm no student could return even cumulatively as a class. At press time, Yadav answered no less than twelve separate questions very politely and enthusiastically, but no one could discern a single word.