Filed to: he who should not be named president

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A year ago today, Nov. 8, a bloated, orange-colored meat sack topped with the world’s worst comb-over became leader of the free world, aka president of the United States. This past year has been a living nightmare as we’ve watched the Trump administration’s all-too-predictable descent into chaos and dumb-fuckery.




Every day, Donald Trump found new and embarrassing ways to bring the country to a new low—including, but not limited to: coddling white supremacists; attacking Muslims, immigrants and NFL players; co-signing police brutality; and regularly making the most incoherent statements, probably because he only knows about 257 words (let me know if that seems too high).

The only real pleasure in reading about this shitshow of an administration was seeing the clever names The Root staff came up with to refer to this narcissistic, racist man-child.


So, like our sister site Jezebel—which also took some solace in calling Trump everything but a child of God—I’ve compiled a list of some of the names we’ve used in lieu of “President Trump.”

The list below is in no particular order—other than how funny the names sound grouped together. I also want to send a special shoutout to Senior Editor Stephen A. Crockett Jr. and contributor Michael Arceneaux, who turned calling Trump out of his name into a high art and made a huge chunk of this list possible. Thanks, guys!