Poznan in My Pants

Arsenal 1:0 Manchester City

Sunday April 8th, 2012.



1. It was the Best of Teams. It was the Worst of Teams.

Actually, scrap my intro. Check out the original Dickens quote instead. I’m pretty sure he was writing about the 2011/2012 AFC season. In fact it damn near blew my mind:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.

(Hey, when I steal shit (which is mostly what I do) I always give credit. Even when the dude is long dead and can’t hunt me down on Twitter)

2. Contrasts, Contrasts

Now, back to that original intro I was going to write. It was the best of teams. It was the worst of teams. It was a team under-pinned by values. It was a team under-pinned by oil money. Away from Hollywood, there could surely only be one winner, the Oil Money Team.

The contrasts were all there on Sunday to be seen for anyone looking. And by the way, EVERYONE was looking. The world, his wife, the city of 2 Manchesters, all of London. Our Spurs friends had been waiting to see us get our come uppance for some time. Surely, today would be the day, their day.

Above: A Trend map of #AFC on Twitter just after our game

So, let us begin with those contrasts. They were many. Some were subtle, some were not:

Good vs Evil

RvP vs Na$ri

Na$ri_19 vs Arteta_08

Nasri_08 vs Na$ri_19

Cash vs Class

The Emirates vs Na$ri

That ROCKING, Poznaning Emirates vs Nasri’s “passionless” Emirates

The Emirates of Now vs The Emirates of Jan 2012

AW vs Mancini

Silent, Invisible Stan vs the sullen Mansours

£1 Bn pissed away vs the Sustainable Business Model

History That Can’t Be Bought vs buying the future

Balotelli vs Benayoun

Belief in attacking football vs WTF was that?

Belief in your team vs Believing you need to join someone else’s team

Our 1-man RvP team vs Their 1-man-Silva team

3. RvP WILL Re-Sign

Maybe the greatest significance of Sunday is that it was the day we secured the re-signing of RvP: Sunday, April 8th, 2012 at 5.45 pm approx. At least in my opinion.

I have thought all along that RvP would re-sign with only a few caveats to add. However, going into the game against City, although I was cautiously optimistic, I thought to myself that if MCFC showed us up badly in this game, it could be a dagger through the heart of our RvP hopes. Cash beats Class would be the message to RvP. Instead City showed themselves to be both classless and gutless.

4. Go Easy on Poor Old Nasri

For those who are squeamish about poor old Nasri, remember:

He “Et tu Brute’d” Wenger when Arsene was trying to hold the squad together this Summer.

He left because he didn’t believe in the team and the manager

He rubbished the Emirates and it’s fans

He said that to develop he needed to move on (didn’t see he was part of the problem and had so much more to learn)

He said Arsenal were a selling club

He said to win anything he would have to leave Arsenal

He forgot who brought him to the dance

He was not,like Crack, returning to his boyhood club. MCFC is nobody’s boyhood club

instead, all you needed to say, Samir, was that it was a great opportunity for you and your family and you thought MCFC had a great chance of winning stuff. End of. We would have still given you shit but you could always finger that wad of cash in your pocket for consolation while avoiding being classless.

5. Right then, “Poznan In My Pants” time:

I shall harvest the tears of this grief-stricken City supporter, mix them with my lovers breast milk to feed to our new born child. And thus shall I raise a next generation of Uber Supporter.

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Mansours to themselves: “Looks like we’re going to need another Billion from daddy.”

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Sagna’s 200th game for Arsenal. Remember to congratulate him!

Below: a couple of tweets of mine of which I am particularly proud:

Below:Not in the face. Not in my pretty face

Above: Have you seen this guy hurdle the fence quick as a flash and join the celebration. Wild and ballsie.

Balotelli: A Cunning Stunt if ever I saw one:

Below: a little Stillman ditty

Below: A contrast in Photos by Pascal Zidane; Nasri vs Na$ri

“The Scream” by Edvard Arteta

Mikel (above) must have seen this Messi celebration (below):