I love my son and I would do anything for him but it took years for me to come around to the idea of having children. Being a mother just wasn’t a role I ever envisioned for myself. I thought I’d be terrible at it. And seeing how it was for other “career” women, I was afraid of living the life the author describes in this article.

Having it All Kinda Sucks

Even with carefully orchestrated co-parenting things still felt insane for those first years. As a new mom I worried about being passed up for the gigs and commissions we relied on (and I was at least one time that I know of, which I will write about someday). I worried about how little time I had for composing (i.e. never). We felt like we were slowing clawing our way back into a life with 8 hours of sleep in it when my husband got sick.

I am fortunate that while I try to figure out my new life as a solo parent I can coast on the earlier successes of my career (i.e. licensing royalties) and the generosity of my truly incredibly fans (i.e. you). The wolf is not at the door, for now. But if I didn’t have that, what would happen to us? What would I have done when Jeff got sick? What do other people do when they have minimal resources coupled with small children and no partner, a sick spouse, a parent with dementia? Why do we leave them to fend for themselves?

This isn’t just a moral issue, it seems economically daft. Policy makers agree that the economic consequences of a shrinking, greying population are negative, yet we penalize the people who raise children and care for the elderly.

Given that 66% of caregivers are women it’s a feminist issue too. As Judith Shulevitz said in an op-ed for the NY Times “…it’s society that’s getting a free ride on women’s unrewarded contributions to the perpetuation of the human race.”

There are long-lasting financial ramifications for those who leave the workforce in order to care for a child or a spouse or a parent. Kristen Maschka, the president of Mothers and More, estimated that by staying home for seven years with her child, she was forfeiting $2,000 a month in future Social Security benefits.

Not a parent? If you have parents the chances are you will need to look after them some day and so you’d better start saving up. The individual impact cost of leaving the workforce to look after aging parents is $280,000 for men and $320,000 for women in lost Social Security, pension benefits and wages. Across all people who look after their parents, this amounts to nearly $3 trillion. (source: MetLife study)

At Davos last month I heard lots of discussion around Universal Basic Income, the idea that all citizens receive a minimal salary regardless of work. It is talked about as a way to protect workers from automation and globalization and a potential fix for income inequality. It’s also a way to compensate caregivers for their unpaid labor.

As it is now, inequality is baked into the cake. Companies pay their workers minimum wage, knowing full well that those workers will rely on taxpayer funded services like food stamps to survive. Governments cut services, employers cut benefits (and forget the self-employed) and the financial burden of austerity is shifted to caregivers. I think Universal Basic Income has legs. What do you think?