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Please. Take a few moments to dig through your kitchen cabinets to find your waffle maker. Please do this. I’ll wait.

….. There? Find it?

Now. Please. These waffles need to be made now, tonight, first thing tomorrow morning, or whenever you get hungry… now? They’re that good.

I need to go wash my hair. That’s not a euphemism for anything. I really need to wash my hair. By the time I come back, I hope you’ve preheated that old waffle machine.