Oh shit, bi rant coming!

Or pan-sexual rant really. Basically a rant for anyone who isn’t straight, gay, or lesbian.

Recently (as in just now) I’ve dealt with an idiot who informed me that it’s “way easier” to be bisexual than gay/lesbian, because if we want we can suddenly just date someone of the opposite sex and all of that discrimination will magically go away in a cloud of sparkling unicorn dust.

Well no. Let me explain all the ways that this is bullshit.

First of all, I’ve been with both men and women in my life. And every time - EVERY SINGLE TIME - I’ve had to explain to friends and family that no, I’m NOT straight, nor am I gay, I’m BISEXUAL. The person I’m dating does not magically change my sexuality. My mother in particular picks apart my relationships, informing me that I’ve dated more men so I’m clearly straight and just doing all this to fit in with the group. What group, I’ll never know, since my friends consist of all kinds of people with all kinds of sexualities, but whatever. I really fucking hate being told that I’m straight over and over again just because I’ve sucked more dicks.

No matter who I end up with, there’s an assumption. I’m either straight or gay. There’s no possibility that I might be attracted to both. “But Angelic!” you say. “What’s the big deal?” Well, for my straight readers out there, have you ever been cuddling with someone of the same sex, or flirting around jokingly and someone takes it the wrong way? They joke that you’re gay, or that you and your friend have some sort of secret romance going on? Now, HOPEFULLY you recognize that there’s nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian, because if not I really don’t want anything to do with you. But you still want to correct them - because you’re NOT gay! You’re a straight person! You want your sexuality recognized and respected, and there’s NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

The same can be said for my homosexual folks. There’s nothing wrong with being straight, but that’s not who you are. It’s the same for me, and I’m going to assume most other bi/pan people out there. While we have no issue with those who are different from us, we still don’t want our own identity erased. And it happens to us ALL THE TIME.

Secondly, our sexuality is seen as a kink. A lot of us have complained that the first thing anyone thinks of is “lol threeway” whenever we come out to our partners. And at least in my experience it’s 100% true, for both men and women. There’s the assumption that I’m into group sex, or that I’ll cheat, or that I’m perfectly willing to make out with other women for the group’s entertainment. That’s not how this works. My sexuality is my sexuality. I may not necessarily be interested in having a goddamn threeway with you. I don’t want to put on shows at parties. My sexuality is a part of me, but it doesn’t define my behavior other than who I date.

So I guess I can sum this all up with don’t automatically think that I’m riding on easy street just because I can date a man and people will see me as straight. I don’t WANT to be seen as straight! I also don’t want to be seen as a lesbian! I want to be seen as who the fuck I am, and acknowledged as part of the LGBTQPA etc etc community. Don’t forget us in classrooms, in parades, or in articles. Remember that there’s more than just gay, straight, and lesbian. There’s also trans*, bisexual, pansexual, and a plethora of others that are waiting for some goddamn recognition. Thanks fuckers!