After the excitement of last night’s Antiques Roadshow demo, I’ve got the adrenaline buzz. I need another fix. Something, anything! Oooh, Farming Simulator 2011. Can it be only a year since Farming Simulator 2009 wowed us all? (FS 2010 is mysteriously absent.) A nation was taken with farm machinery fever, as fields were ploughed, straw was baled, and memberships to UKIP were renewed. So it’s time to dust off your work boots, grab your tractor keys, and madly insist on endangering children with Daylight Saving Time, via the demo of this latest version.

Farmers don’t have the internet, right? Good, phew. This demo contains two missions from the full game, one involving harvesting corn, the other baling hay. Which is a bit of a shame, since one of the missions in last year’s demo had hay baling, and it’s hard not to compare it to the halcyon memories.

Both involve driving your tractor laboriously up and down a field, at a very, very slow pace, but one of them at least includes getting to poo out a hay bale every few seconds.

I have a new-found respect for farmers (that I’m somehow failing to apply here) after attempting to complete either mission. After four lengths of the cornfield I decided to see if tractors can swim. Tractors cannot swim.

Then I thought I’d try to drive over a fence onto the road, where my tractor, in season and out of control, attempted to mount one of the passing cars.

The result was a pile-up. A lot of drivers involved were apparently sealed into their cars with concrete.

Instead I switched to bale making, which kept me entertained for three poos, but then there simply being stuff on the horizon led to my charging off into the distance.

I tried a bit of off-roading, some hill climbing, and some car-tipping. With that done I was absolutely exhausted, so popped to the local for a half. And got stuck on a table.

A typical day on the farm.