As a person who has lived in Boise for 29 out of my 37 years and makes a living selling Idaho-themed gifts, I don’t need to list the reasons why I love it here. There are so many. Instead, here’s a list of things that as of right now, completely suck.

Boise’s air quality is horrible in Winter.

“Due to topography and weather patterns, the Treasure Valley is subject to some of the most severe wintertime inversions in the intermountain West. During an inversion, colder, heavier air settles into the valley while warm air sits above the inversion. This causes air stagnation as the cold air and accumulating air pollution is trapped. The pollution builds up under the inversion until a strong weather system moves through and mixes the air. During these events, air pollution monitors in the valley have recorded levels above the national health-based standard.” (—Idaho Department of Environmental Quality)

Basically this means that you shouldn’t go outside, or you know, breathe air, for most of the Winter. No bigs—just stay inside and wait! Winter will be over before you know it (in May).

2. Boise’s air quality is horrible in Summer.

Every year it seems the wildfires in the state get worse—the smoke blows into the valley and gets stuck here—raising the AQI (Air Quality Index) to dangerous levels that are not safe for anyone. Basically this means that you shouldn’t go outside, or, you know, breathe air, for most of the Summer. No bigs—just stay inside and wait! Summer will be over before you know it (in October).

3. This state is as red as they come.

What the actual fuck?

Boise has a few progressives in it’s lawmaking ranks, but they are continually silenced by extreme right-wing activists, enacting some of the most absurd legislation in the country. In the 2014 legislative session alone their efforts included: passing a bill that would allow students to carry concealed weapons on college campuses (despite nearly unanimous public opposition); refusing to add the words “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” to the Idaho Human Rights Act, (despite the fact that 81% of Idahoans believe that people should not be discriminated against based on these criteria); and initiating a “wolf harvest” which I don’t even want to talk about.

4. Idaho lawmakers hate gays.

On the other hand, a few issues are near and dear to the administration’s heart, including spending over a million dollars of taxpayer money on a feeble attempt to overturn the supreme court ruling that their ban on same sex marriages was unconstitutional. If wasting your time and money on fighting losing battles is your thing, you will LOVE IT HERE.

5. It’s a semi-arid desert.

Despite being called the City of Trees (the word Boise is indisputably derived from the French les bois, meaning the wood), Boise is in the high desert—a landscape not normally synonymous with lush woodlands. Do not be deceived by the quaint tree-lined streets of the North End: this is the desert and it is so dry your skin will fall off.

6. Even if you wanted to ride the bus, you probably couldn’t.

Boise has one of the worst public transportation systems I’ve ever seen. The buses don’t run after 6:45 pm. Nor do they run on Sundays. Basically anyone working a night job, a weekend job, anyone who doesn’t own a car, anyone who doesn’t feel like exposing their lungs to to the particulate party that is the air we breathe, anyone who has ever relied on an adequate public transportation system—you are fucked. Sorry!

7. The minimum wage here is $7.25 per hour.

An adult person would have to work two full time jobs at that rate to support themselves, let alone any dependents. Word is that they’re raising it incrementally, and hope to have caught up with the rest of the modern world by 2016. Blergh.

8. 83.5% of Boise’s residents are white.

The percentage of the white people who feel superior because of it is up for debate, but I bet it’s scary high.