I can remember the day it ended with a frightening amount of clarity. An uneasy feeling had been creeping over me for the past couple of weeks, and now, as I spent a moment alone with my baby son, I let an awful thought consume me. I had to ask myself: did I love this child? If I did, then why didn’t it feel that way? I had felt the love a father has for a child before. My eldest son provoked in me a feeling of love so strong that you know you will never experience anything like it anywhere else. I thought the same blessed feeling would automatically be bestowed upon me with the birth of my second son, and for a while it was. But as I sat alone with my second son in the bedroom, it wasn’t there. And it wouldn’t come.