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The method of transformation is as follows:

1. Start acclimating him to homosexual propaganda. Play lady gaga, Justin Bieber, and any other pop music loudly outside of the bathroom while he takes a shower. Introduce various items into his wardrobe like brightly colored scarves. When he tries them on, affirm his decision. These little actions will reinforce the homosexual culture into his life.

2. Watch action films. I know this may seem contradictory to gay culture, but the more half naked men he sees doing awesome stuff, the more he will want to rip another dude's shirt off. Look for films with Mark Walberg, Tom Cruise, and Brad Pitt, and try to get films with few women.

3. Spray his clothing with feminine perfume ever so lightly. The effect of smell is tremendously strong and most closely connected to memory. If you can maintain a consistent female scent, he forget about his masculine gender and begin to adopt the life of his smell.

4. Take him shopping as often as you can. As long as he is buying new clothes on a regular basis, he will be perpetually concerned with his image. Try to direct him to specific stores like Hollister, Abercronbie and Fitch, and Banana Republic.

5. Find another gay guy to help you in the process, preferably an attractive one. Have him befriend your brother and develop a relationship. When the time is right, (sleepover) he can ask your brother if he has ever done anything with a guy. At this point your brother will explode and probably kick his new friend out. This is expected, but the seed is planted.

6. When the attractive gay man apologizes, they will rekindle their friendship. Now your brother has the thought of other men in his mind, and when the gay friend makes a move, he will comply out of curiosity. Because of all of the foundational work you have established, he will enjoy it and become a closeted homosexual.

7. The gay friend will report the progress. At this point, you will be able to confront your brother, solidifying all of your work. He will be defensive and contemplate his state until he himself truely believes that he is gay.

8. Your brother will come out to some close friends, then to you and your parents. You will support his decision and relish the satisfaction of turning your brother gay.

9. You will realize that turning your brother gay, though initially intended to harm him, has made him a fuller person. He has a clearer sense of his identity and knows what he desires. You have helped him discover something within himself, and you yourself have realized that being gay is not a bad thing. Sure it is initially unsettling and typical evangelical Christianity is unaccepting of it, but your brother is happy, hence the synonymous relationship of happy to gay.

9.1 Or, your brother is gay and you think that is hilarious. He never knew what hit him.