The next time you lock your keys in your car.

The next time you send nude selfies to your dad.

The next time you fart loudly during sex.

The next time you fall down in front of a crowd of people.

The next time your penis makes national news.

The next time you click "send" too early.

The next time you leave your wallet in a cab.

The next time you decide to fight an object and lose.

The next time you vomit on the prime minister of Japan.

The next time someone films you drunk.

The next time you miss the door.

The next time you miss the bowl.

The next time you lose a bet that involves forfeiture of body hair.

The next time you get caught faking your death.