Bad Reasons to Start Writing Poetry

Your mortgage payment is due.

You were gifted a journal with the word JOURNAL on the cover.

Smartphone selfies weren’t offering enough of a creative challenge.

To prove to your parents your life has direction.

You’re intrigued by patterns, but not crime scene investigation.

Your rap career didn’t pan out.

Your LinkedIn profile needs some pizzazz.

Elevator conversations are better as haikus.

You just found out what a chapbook is, and it sounds classy.

You have an extreme longing for em dashes.

You need more “cerulean” in your life.

It will justify your collection of black turtlenecks.

To seem less pretentious.

A butterfly made you smile.

You want to be emotionally distant.

To earn an ex’s respect.

To spice up your online dating profile.

You heard that villanelles can disintegrate panties.

You were witty that one time while drinking wine at book club.

To support your claims of sobriety.