this is the time of year i float reviews of fun books that would make nice presents. not for me, i already have them. i’m just being a kindly readers’ advisory holiday angel.



so, it's probably more like a 3.5, but i'm in a good mood.



two words of warning - 1) if you have the ARC of this, like i do, know that the formatting is frequently all kinds of jacked up, with missing words, text-bubbles on the wrong side of the conversation, attributed to the wrong character and etc etc. but you're a smart k

so, it's probably more like a 3.5, but i'm in a good mood.two words of warning - 1) if you have the ARC of this, like i do, know that the formatting is frequently all kinds of jacked up, with missing words, text-bubbles on the wrong side of the conversation, attributed to the wrong character and etc etc. but you're a smart kid, you'll figure it out.2) some of these are better than others. duh, right? but the byron one? i don't even understand what that one is all about. okay, iit, but i just think it's a little soft, and that's not just my byromania talking. okay, it kind of is, but it is just a little sad for me to see byron reduced to some emo kid, which is NOT how i see byron in my heart:what is it?what’s wrong?is there something specific that’s the matter?or anything I can do to help?do you want me to come over?and yet, despite it basically being the same joke, and despite my love for Hamlet being about as strong as my love for byron, it is WONDERFUL to see the continuing teen-trums of hamlet running throughout this book.the good thing about this is that you don't have to have read the source material to get the jokes; i haven't read Atlas Shrugged or any of thebooks, but again - we're smart kids - we can figure out what is being gently mocked.for example, i have also never read anbook in my life, but this made me laugh pretty hard:Harriet -Mother wanted me to ask youif you'd like to go to the fair tomorrow with ussince we'll be working at the same booth togetherall afternoonFather's offered to give us a ride in his wagonyeshis milk wagonHe only has the one wagonyou know thatYou can just say no, Harrietif you don't want to come with usyou can just say noI'm sorry if I insulted youyou don't have to comelook I'll see you tomorrowand on Thursday you have a fourthI get itI think I grasp the prinsiple of the thinghow DO you spell principle, Harriet?is it with an S?or a C?Maybe we should ask a spelling expertMaybe we should ask someone who wona spellingmedalfor spelling the word principle correctlyI only have the one dress so you can see the medal every dayand yet, sometimes it's the attention to detail in books i am all-too-familiar with that make the joke even funnier. like thisgiggler:Hey ClaudiaI know math is really tough for youbut even you should knowthat two dollars an hourfor six hoursmeans we’re at least twelve dollars shortof what should be in the treasurylookall I'm sayingis that someone that good at hiding candy in her roomprobably has a few great places to hide twelve dollarslike maybe in an incredibly ugly macrame wallet with velvet appliquéshowever, my favorite FAVORITE section was probably the one for The Outsiders , even though it's basically just repeating the same joke over and over. i don't care, though, because it is spot-fucking-on. warning - may contain spoilers for a 47-year-old children's book.What?huhI guess that makes sensewhat do you meandifferent howwe’re just a bunch of regular beautiful guys who like to read poetry and get in knife fightsyessirnothing like putting your hair in placestabbing a rich guythen talking about Robert Frost in an attic with another guyif that’s different, then i guess i’m differentwhoi don’t knowhuhyeah okayi guess soi won’tyeah maybeyour what?what did i think of whatoh yeahthere sure are a lot of themi definitely think you didno, they’re– you did a really good jobthey’re really nicerightyeahyeahoh i think i’m okayno i’m okayyeahwhat’s wrong?ohyeah i rememberi don’t knowyeahi rememberyeah me tooall of the above are available online: http://the-toast.net/category/textsfrom/ so i didn't feel bad reproducing them here, because there are still bazillions that are book-only and some that are site-only, so it all works out in the end.to save review-space, i am going to link to a couple of others i giggled at parts of, but not with as much as force as i did for The Outsiders and because i am a maniac, and this one isn't available online (that i could find), i am going to wear my typing fingers to the bone just so you can enjoy the Wuthering Heights texts i liked so much, and which reads like the most melodramatic pseudo-sexting ever. super hot.WARNING - MASSIVE, MASSIVE SPOILERS for a 167-year-old bookgod i love you cathyi love you so muchlet's break each other's heartsi love you so much i'm going to run awaygoodgood that's so much lovei'll be your slavei'll lie down with my soul already in its gravei love you so much i'll come back and marry your sister-in-lawand i'll bankroll your brother's alcoholismuuuuuuughyescathy yes that's perfecti'm going to kidnap your daughter somedayand i won't let your nephew learn to readbecause of how much i love youand scream at your graveand i'll rent your room outto some guy from Londoni'm so glad to hear thati was hoping you'd say thatthat sounds perfecti'm so excited to hear him tell me about what your ghost looks likeoh manwhat aren't i going to scream at your gravei'll scream everythingi'll scream your souli'll scream about what a bitch you werethat is so sweet of you to do thati hope your ghost drives me crazy :)i totally know what you meanoh my god that's so much lovegod noi want to wait until you're deadand then rip up the earth over your graveand crawl insideso, yeah, at the end of the day it's just a silly little humor book, but for people like us who are booky, it's one of the good ones.i will leave you with this: