“I think it’s time to get into bio hacking,” singer-songwriter Grimes casually tweeted earlier this year. Four months later and it looks like Grimes – who is also Neuralink founder Elon Musk’s girlfriend – was serious about exploring biohacking.

As part of her new Adidas campaign, Grimes was asked to describe her training regiment. From experimental eye surgery and slow boiling honey tea, to Aaron Traywick type flotation tanks and interdimensional astro-gliding, Grimes went into the details and posted the regiment on her instragram.

First, Grimes begins the day by maintaining a ‘cellular routine’ where she maximizes the function of her mitochondria by taking supplements like NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine and magnesium:

“This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral!” explained Grimes.

Then it is two to four hours inside a flotation tank which she claims helps her astro-glide to other dimensions. In the afternoon she practices sword fighting, and after hiking at an incline at a speed of four miles per hour, it’s off to her red-light fitted studio for ‘screaming sessions’ that will be followed by taking slow boiled honey tea to maximize vocal proficiency.

When it is finally time for bed, Grimes always turns on a humidifier. She will then sleep soundly given that she claims she went through an experimental surgery which eliminated all blue light from her vision. This surgery involved removing the top film of her eyeball and replacing it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that she made in the lab as a means to cure seasonal depression.

At this point it is obvious that Grimes, the last of the goth edge-lords, is being satirical and her instagram post is just a shitpost poking fun at the comical stereotypes of biohacking. Stereotypes perpetuated by Silicon Valley’s OCD-type optimization-centric interpretation of what biohacking entails. An interpretation that is very different from actual biohacking – especially given that this interpretation is based off re-branded fitness gimmicks and diet fads rather than actually hacking human biology.

Whether Grimes is shitposting or not, what is hilarious is that despite her satirical hyperbole on Silicon Valley pseudo-biohacking culture, her parody “training regiment” is still not as crazy as some of the regiments advocated by optimization-centric “biohackers” like Dave Asprey and Ben Greenfield – who have merely re-branded originally non-marketable fitness gimmicks and diet fads as “biohacking” so as to give them an edgyness that is easier to pitch and sell to the gullible. Asprey’s idea of “high octane brain fuel” is butter dipped in coffee – which he sells under his overpriced ‘Bulletproof Coffee’ brand. As for Greenfield, he is known for injecting stem cells into his penis so as to make it bigger, massaging his rectum with glass rods for health purposes, eating ants so as to absorb their energy, and believes that if a food is shaped like a specific human organ, then it is good for that specific organ. So Greenfield can usually be found scouring for pancreas-shaped sweet potatoes which he deducts are good for his pancreas – or heart-shaped pumpkins which, should be good for his biohacked heart.