Trust no one

During James Comey's testimony yesterday, Donald Trump somehow managed to stay off Twitter, possibly because his staff and lawyers sat on him the entire time. Fortunately for posterity, Donald Jr. took up the smartphone and defended his dad's honor with a stream of grade-A nonsense. It lacked the signature bizarre phrasing of his father's twitrants, but was reliably rightwing enough to win a featured mention in the Drudge Report, along with the day's other important news about James "Corey":

Let's see what all the fuss was about! Don Jr.'s tweets mostly followed the flow of the Republican senators' talking points and rightwing Twitter, such as this set of observations in reply to Idaho Senator Jim Risch's very persuasive suggestion that the president couldn't possibly have been telling James Comey to rid him of this meddlesome Flynn investigation. Maybe he was just a really hopeful guy!

It was all just the president expressing a general thought, nothing like pressure or anything. Besides, Don Jr. knows quite well that when his father gives an order, you know he's given an order, because your ass may be flat on the ground if you don't please him (allegedly). Don Jr. had a whole childhood of learning to puzzle out Donald Trump's attempts at communication, so we should believe him here every bit as much as we believe his father.

Donnie had other thoughts, too. He seems completely unfamiliar with some ideas, like a human being acknowledging something fairly simple:

Also, he discovered that James Comey is a big ol' pussy who was too afraid to report his dad's suggestion to leave Mike Flynn alone, which of course never happened:

It seems everyone is out to get the poor defenseless president, except maybe a few senators. Nonetheless, the lamestream media certainly isn't going to report the real truth, which is that all their reporting has been disproved:

Funny, though, the New York Times doesn't seem to think Comey destroyed their article about multiple contacts between Team Trump and Russian officials during the campaign, noting that their sources "have indicated that they believed the account was solid." (Rightwing reply: well of course they did! You made them all up! As did all the other outlets that independently reported the same things.)

Don Jr. was also very happy to see that James Comey damned himself as a dirty leaker by admitting he'd leaked his own unclassified notes, for which he may or may not have to go to jail forever:

Yes, that's Donald Trump Jr. playing the "This is why Donald Trump is President" game. Donna Rose's favorite babysitter, Charlie Pierce, wasn't especially impressed:

Also, too, Don Junior wondered why no one except every Republican everywhere had noticed that Comey said the president never specifically asked him to end any investigation:

Gosh, if only someone would please mention the top Republican talking point of the week (other than, of course, all the infrastructure). It is absolutely true that, as far as we know, Donald Trump never actually said, "Hello, I would like to obstruct justice now, if that's OK with you." Not even once.

From that point on, Don Jr. was mostly content to retweet comments from all the people who agreed with him, like his dad, two months ago:

But he knows who the winners and losers are, and that's all that matters:

And once his dad clawed his way out from under that pile of lawyers at 5 in the morning, he completely agreed with his smart son, who he won't have to (allegedly) smack this time. James Comey is a liar and maker of false statements -- both of those -- who has completely vindicated Donald. J. Trump, hooray!

Now it's time to forget all these distractions and kill off health insurance for tens of millions of Americans, like America wants.

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[Deadspin / NYT / Donald Trump Jr. on Twitter]