An ex-Angeleno named Cheri writes to say that no one will ever confuse Atlanta with Surf City.

“You see, Mr. Harvey,” she said via e-mail, “I moved to Atlanta six years ago with my then-11-year-old daughter. I thought it was the right move. However, no one bothered to tell me that Atlanta was landlocked. We wanted to go to the beach and were told the nearest beach was three hours away in Savannah. You should have seen the expression on our faces.”

Cheri realizes what some of you may be thinking.

“I know, all we had to do was look on a map and see that Atlanta is no way near the ocean,” she acknowledged. “But what can you do? When you’ve lived your entire life in California, you tend to take things for granted.”


FURTHER PROOF THAT EXERCISING IS NO FUN: “As someone who is in a constant battle with the bulge,” declared Pam Mabes of Sierra Madre, “I thought this ad was appropriate” (see excerpt).

HI, MY NAME’S BOB, AND I USED TO BE YOUR WAITER: You may recall the bit of al fresco drama involving a waiter at a downtown L.A. cafe who clinked his glass to get the diners’ attention. He then began a speech accusing the restaurant of “malfeasance” in its labor practices before he was cut off.

The waiter, who phoned here to identify himself as Smith Long, discussed the reactions of the 70 or so diners.

“A couple of people applauded,” said Long, who has since found a similar job at a Venice cafe. “One couple thought it was actually some sort of skit. One person asked another waiter what ‘malfeasance’ meant.”


The general manager, who eventually ended Long’s speech, came rushing over because she thought he was committing another no-no. “She thought I was trying to tell several different tables the specials all at once,” Long said.

BUS LINE TO NOWHERE: “With so much emphasis lately on the MTA’s problems, I think it’s interesting that they continue to provide service to an attraction that’s been closed for more than 10 years,” Ginny Rangel of Torrance observes (see photo).

It would be funny enough if the MTA sign had just languished there on Pacific Coast Highway, forgotten by the agency. But here’s the really strange part. When Marineland folded in 1987, there was no MTA. It didn’t supplant the RTD until 1992.

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Actor Robert De Niro just got married and if you want to send him a card, we enclose this reminder, which was issued by his rep before the 1995 Academy Awards show: “The correct spelling and typography of Robert De Niro’s name is as follows: De Niro . . . or DE NIRO is correct. The ‘e’ in ‘De’ is ALWAYS the same size and case as the ‘iro’ in ‘Niro.’ Despite the way it has appeared elsewhere, it is NEVER De NIRO or DE Niro. There is ALWAYS a half-space between ‘De’ and Niro.” No word on whether the wife will also be known as De whatever.

Steve Harvey, who also goes by Harvey Steve, can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.