Listen: I tried to talk to you about this last week, and it just doesn't seem like I'm getting through, but I'm going to give it one more shot. That used condom—you know the one, tied to an F Train handrail, sagging under the weight of its own viscous insides—it's still fucking there.

Initially, it seemed like the droopy prophylactic was a relatively new addition to the train car's decor, but it sounds like it's been there for at least three weeks. From Gothamist:

As the sad day wore on, more witnesses came forward to say that they'd spotted the condom as far back as September 24th. And now yet another commuter has emailed us a photo of the thing, still dangling on the F train pole like it's the last wacky ornament to be taken down off a brown Christmas tree. In an email with the dismaying subject field "subway condom still making its rounds," F train rider John La tells us that he snapped the above photo on Monday morning (yesterday), at 9:54 a.m. as the F train shouldered its load into Manhattan from Queens.

Gothamist contacted MTA spokesman Adam Lisberg, who assured concerned riders that the wizened cum receptacle, stretching languidly to the floor under gravity's inexorable force, like the undereye fleshbags of a lifelong chainsmoker, or one last drop of semen, clinging futilely to the warm urethra whence it came, will be removed:

This has been brought to the highest levels of the subway system, and our cleaning crews will be on the lookout for it whenever they clean cars at the end of the line. They will also note the car number, and then will try to determine when it was last brought in for a more thorough cleaning.

The good news: it might have been a "prank."

[Crime scene photo via Gothamist]