Despite what you may think, talking in the early stage of an altercation is not a good choice. It only adds a thick layer of nonsense on top of the argument because feelings take over rational thinking.

This article goes about the importance of keeping silent when a conflict occurs. It aims to give you an effective behavior to adopt when you enter a discord with your interlocutors, so you refrain from making it worse. This technique, among many others, comes from this book.

Picture

Conflicts Require Calm and Silence

The more you open your mouth, the more you feed the fire and overwhelm your interlocutor.

Most conflicts quickly grow in severity because both interlocutors do not stop throwing attacks at each other at the beginning. By consequence, what started as a small quarrel escalates into a series of confrontations. In the end, it makes the argument more complex and more difficult to overcome. As the attacks sum up, one has to make more efforts to forgive and forget afterward.

When an argument begins, your heart and your brain have distinct goals. The former conveys its emotions. The latter strives to fathom the situation and figure out a solution. In other words, your emotions clutter your mind and block your logical reasoning. Hence, they make you talk and act irresponsibly and worsen your conflict.

Because of that, your priority is to take your ill feelings out to comprehend the situation better.

A Good Approach to Conflict Resolution

Stop talking. No matter what you feel, keep it inside and hold back your spikes for a moment. Not only does it prevent you from saying things you do not mean, but it also gives you time to clear your mind.

You need to calm down and collect your thoughts before jumping down your interlocutor’s throat.

You might defend yourself or attack your interlocutor instead of trying to find a solution. Ask for silence and refrain from saying things you would regret. Conflicts are not opportunities to settle scores.

The lesser you talk, the more you listen. And this is good for your communication as it lets you hear what your counterpart has to say. Bilateral communication is yet another base upon which you must rely to resolve your conflicts.

By not monopolizing the conversation talking about yourself, you let your interlocutor elaborate his point of view. By consequence, when a conflict arises, it is crucial that you stop talking.

It keeps you from being mean and ill-intentioned as well.

Silence is golden. Next time you have a disagreement with someone, say nothing and let yourself chill down. It just works.