Instead of continuing to hijack the comment section of Sounders1974's fanpost "13 young midfielders..." I've decided to create an entirely new fanpost dedicated to stalking Chris Henderson's twitter account. After obsessing over these visual data, I'm better equipped to make educated guesses as to where he's been, what matches he's attended, and even who he may be scouting.

Where in the World is Carmen San Deigo Chris Henderson:

Chris' twitter account is intriguing because he tweets entirely out of sequence. Its as if Quentin Tarentino gave him social media advice. Having said that, I'll be listening to the Kill Bill soundtrack as I write from here on in. Consider yourself warned.

Clue 1

Right away you can see we're looking at a large stadium with red, white and black as dominant colors. Further, the website PRIMERORIVER.COM is prominently displayed on more than one banner. This tells us he s watching River Plate at their home stadium Estadio Monumental Antonio Vespucio Liberti located in Buenos Aires, Argentina. The timing of the tweet and uniform colors tell us its the Copa Libertadore match against Sao Paulo FC.

Okay, but who is he scouting? These two clubs find and develop some of the best talent in South America, and often are sold for top dollar to high profile European clubs. A good starting place is to look at team lineups and formations. Both teams fielded CAMs in a 4-2-3-1 formation. If Garth wants on a young, creative attacking midfielder then look no further than Ganso. No highlight reel required. You know the man's work.

River Plate fielded their club's newest addition Ignacio Fernandez at CAM. He literally just joined the club at the start of the season, so don't expect them to flip Fernandez like a used car. The most likely scouting candidate for either team are depth midfielders like Wesley (28) for SP, or Gonzalo Martinez (22) for RP. Both are more in the Sounders' price range. But hey, if you want to dream of Ganso in rave green, who am I to crush your dreams?

Clue 2

Tallest building in South America. pic.twitter.com/BkvIMgaCpG — Chris Henderson (@19Hendy19) March 12, 2016

Santiago, Chile. This will all make sense later. Let's move on for now.

Clue 3

Good to see old faces in new places. pic.twitter.com/tifT2OX607 — Chris Henderson (@19Hendy19) March 13, 2016

This photo doesn't tell us a thing about where he is. Personally, I have no idea who this guy is, and I can't do a reverse image search of the guy's face either... that would be all kinds of minority report creepy. Next clue!

Clue 4

We weren't @ColumbusCrewRR players at the same time, but shared some good memories of playing in #MLS. pic.twitter.com/kb5pV8BIUB — Chris Henderson (@19Hendy19) March 14, 2016

Ah ha! The hombre next to Chris wearing the Boca Juniors jacket is club manager Guillermo Barros Schelotto. Chris could have attended a match while he was in Buenos Aires. Its entirely possible. Which one, though?

Chris was in Seattle for the home opener on the 6th, so that rules out the Boca Juniors vs. River Plate match that same day. He probably wouldn't have followed the team all the way to Bolivia for the Copa Libertadores match on the 10th, either. So by process of elimination, if Chris did see a Boca match, it would have been the one on the 14th against CA Union de Santa Fe and he would have been salivating over the mastery of Boca's CAM extraordinaire Nicolas Lodeiro. He is a classic South American CAM: young (26), fast, playmaking vision, long passing abilities, excellent shooter, and dribbling skills for days. Why would Boca be willing to part ways with him? Glad you asked. There's no shortage of young playmaking midfield talent on that club. Feast your eyes on Marcelo Meli (23) and Rodrigo Betancur (18).

Clue 5

I think the razor sharp barbed wire is working...he will not attack the players. pic.twitter.com/VyeEdwlhr3 — Chris Henderson (@19Hendy19) March 16, 2016

This clue was fun on the research end. Notice the sketchy razor wire, the smallish stadium, and the gritty rough-around-the-edges feel. Together it screams lower division, right? Definitely in a lower tier than the likes of River Plate. WRONG. This is actually Temperley FC of Primera Division and they're playing at home, Estadio Alfredo Martin Beranger, just a 30 minute drive from Buenos Aires proper. My guess is Chris wanted a better look at Temperley's CAM, Martin Perez Guedes (24). The opponents that day were Argentinos Juniors. They've got a guy named Luciano Cabral (20). Both are what you'd expect from young Argentinian CAMs. Lots of pace, lots of flair, lots of trying shit.

Clue 6

Beautiful, eh? Chris captured some flags in this pic. No Argentina flags here. I refer you back up to Clue 2. We're back in Santiago, Chile. The search was pretty easy because there aren't many stadiums quite like Universidad Catolica's Estadio San Carlos de Apoquindo. If the club sounds familiar to you its probably because soccer phenom Jeisson Vargas plays right wing for them. UK website Mirror, thinks he is one of the 50 best players under 20. Gedion Zelalem is on that list too.

If the Sounders weren't angling for Vargas (obviously I hope thats not the case), Chris could have been there to see Universidad Catolica's #10, Diego Rojas (21). The visiting team, Antofagasta (best name EVER) unfortunately doesn't have a young inspiring midfielder that lives up to the club's name. Pass.

Well, that about wraps 'er up. Hope you enjoyed living vicariously through Chris Henderson. What a dream job, eh? We should all be jealous of his life right about now. If you take anything away from this collection of words, pictures and highlight reels... I hope you take comfort in knowing just how many talented South American CAMs there are just waiting for an invitation to play on plastic grass in front of 60,000 screaming fans. Any player I bothered listing above would make the Sounders younger, faster, and more creative in the midfield for years to come. Its my belief and my hope that all of these players have the ability to sharpen the Hydra's teeth and make it the most feared beast in the kingdom again.

Now that being said, if Garth signs anyone but Ganso or Jeisson Vargas I'm going to write that smug cheapskate a rudely worded letter that will probably never reach his desk. If you'll excuse me, I've got some videotapes to return.