So the title is

Why I, Julian Del Balso AKA THE GUY WHO SKATED ON THE FOUNTAIN AKA GROWERS MANE AKA JULIO THE THIRD AKA JULIAC AKA THE BIG JUJE AKA FREAKIN JULIAC AKA STEEZLORD AKA HOOLIGAN JONES AKA THE JULIONATOR AKA THE HOOLIGAN am running for AMS President

And the essay part is

FOR THE FUCKIN MEMES BABY HAHAHAHAHAA WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Please let me know if this is acceptable.

Kindest regards and warmest wishes,

Julian