Giving yourself a massage, like throwing yourself a surprise birthday party or asking for your own hand in marriage, is a surefire disappointment. Leave kneading to the knowledgeable with today's Groupon to Christopher Benoit, LMT in Fitchburg and Lexington. Choose between the following options:

For $35, you get one 60-minute sports, deep-tissue, peppermint foot, head-and-toe, or head plus neck and shoulders massage (up to a $75 value).

For $60, you get two 60-minute sports, deep-tissue, peppermint foot, head-and-toe, or head plus neck and shoulders massages (up to a $150 value). Massages must be redeemed in separate visits.

Licensed massage therapist Christopher Benoit soothes muscles and plies tissues with a roster of services designed to relax rigid bodies, improve athletes' recovery rates, and hasten injury recovery. As an avid cyclist, Benoit draws on first-hand knowledge of sore muscles to tailor his sports massage to preventing injury, reducing pain, and maintaining the flexibility needed to deftly switch medals with rivals while walking to the podium. A deep-tissue massage aims to evaporate toxins embedded deep within muscle fibers, and a peppermint foot massage grants toes a feeling of relaxation previously experienced only by candy-cane wrappers. By encasing clients' torsos and limbs in heated towels and smoothing the skin with hypoallergenic massaging gels, Benoit builds a tranquil atmosphere that sends stress fleeing from the room and into the mind of the nearest squirrel.