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As a sidenote: if a company is marketing a product for your vagina but is incapable of using the actual word and instead opts for adorkable monikers like “water-lady,” steer clear. (And please never refer to any inch of your vaginal area as “adorkable.”)

Here’s the thing: The vagina has a habit of being able to take care of itself. It has its own balance of good bacteria and it self-cleans. So inserting anything inside it that could disturb that balance can lead to infection, inflammation, scratches and/or vaginal discharge.

Canadian gynecologist Jen Gunter, who has made it her mission to tear down Paltrow’s “science,” recently blogged about Passion Dust, warning women: “Just because something is safe for your lips, for example glitter lip gloss, doesn’t mean it is safe for the vagina… If [the glitter] isn’t plastic and it’s sugar, well, depositing sugar in the vagina lets the bad bacteria go wild. Studies looking at treating bacterial vaginosis with vaginally administered probiotics were halted because the glucose keeping the probiotics alive made the bad bacteria go wild.”

The Pretty Women website, of course, goes as far as warning buyers not to listen to their doctors and opt for their sage advice instead: “Any gynaecologist would tell you that NOTHING should go in your vagina! … People have opinions and love to share them.” Because “if you’ve ever had vaginal issues you had them before you used Passion Dust anyway. If you’ve ever had a yeast infection, I’m sure it wasn’t caused by glitter, it just happens sometimes (Oh, the joys of being a girl!).”

If that is the sort of backwards logic that can sway you because girls!, by all means, go forth and enter the sparkly void (or let it enter you), but don’t be surprised when it ends in glittery chaos – which is not as cute as it sounds.