A little mid-Saturday NFL week 4 blog. Terrible timing for a blog, I know. Fuck it, I gotta get picks on paper baby. A quick update from CJ vs Cass vs Coin: Cass had a Wilt Chamberlin like rebound from last week leading the pack at a 13-3 clip as I followed closely behind at 12-4, ol’ Mr. Coin came in second at 10-6.

Records come to:

CJ: 33-14-1

Cass: 29-18-1

Coin: 24-23-1

This week I threw in a little wrinkle, fucked around and got a guest picker. Who needs college gameday guest pickers when you can have a guest picker trying to beat a fine piece of Mexican Centavos. Here are the picks:

Matchup CJ Cassidy Guest – Joe Coin Eagles @ Packers Packers Eagles Eagles Packers Titans @ Falcons Titans Titans Falcons Titans Patriots @ Bills Patriots Patriots Patriots Patriots Chiefs @ Lions Chiefs Chiefs Chiefs Lions Raiders @ Colts Colts Colts Colts Raiders Chargers @ Dolphins Chargers Chargers Chargers Chargers Redskins @ Giants Giants Giants Giants Giants Browns @ Ravens Browns Ravens Ravens Browns Panthers @ Texans Panthers Texans Texans Texans Buccs @ Rams Rams Rams Rams Rams Seahawks @ Cardinals Cardinals Seahawks Seahawks Seahawks Vikings @ Bears Bears Vikings Bears Vikings Jaguars @ Broncos Jaguars Jaguars Broncos Broncos Cowboys @ Saints Saints Cowboys Cowboys Saints Bengals @ Steelers Bengals Bengals Steelers Bengals

Now back to the show: Week 4 preview.

Thursday recap:

“ThUrSdAy NiGhT fOoTbAlL StInKs,” says me, every Thursday, as I still watch every second of the game. Well, not this week! The Eagles flew to Lambo to take down the might Cheese and from start to finish this game was entertaining. You had two of the most overrated quarterbacks battling to be the most average on the field. The Eagles defense decided to give Davante Adams about 15 yards of cushion on every play which lead to a 180-yard career-high night for Adams, who then promptly got bit by the turf monster. Turf toe is one of the most painful things ever, I have had it, it stinks. Late in the 4th quarter and down a score, Pete Carol, I mean Stupid Sexy Matt LaFleur decided to throw the ball from the two-yard line and Aaron Rodgers’ pass was tipped into the hands of the Eagles secondary sealing a victory for the Eagles. People are asking if Matt LaFleur is just too pretty to coach in the NFL. 2 takeaways: Aaron Rodgers threw for 400 yards but only 2 tudders and was terrible in the red-zone. The Packers’ defense was absolutely annihilated by the Eagles running game. The book is out on how to beat the Packers. The NFC North now belongs to either the Bears or Lions.

Sunday Preview:

Battle of the Undefeated

Patriots @ Bills

Tables. Dildos. Fire. Wings. Everything that may bring the evil empire down to its knees. People are saying the Patriots might lose because they have played teams with a combined total of 0 wins this season. Can Tom Brady avoid the flying dildos and break Bills Mafia’s heart? Will the quintessential good in shorts QB. Josh Allen, be able to carry the city of Buffalo on his rocket arm? Let’s be real. No, he will not. The Patriots have such a disciplined offense and will be able to wear down this Bills’ defense. Buffalo has playmakers on offense, but Devin Singletary is their best runner in the backfield and is still questionable for game time. Not to mention the Patriots defense has not allowed a touchdown in the last 242 minutes. It is just unfair. You cannot have as well oiled of a machine on offense as they do and still have a top 3 defense in the league. This is the Super Bowl for Buffalo and its fans; the world wants to see the Patriots lose. Unless Bills Mafia turns it up even another degree, say lighting a dildo covered bus on fire and running it into a storefront of Mel Gibson’s The Patriot movies I cannot see them coming out on top.

Prediction: Patriots 34 – Bills 23

Chiefs @ Lions

We head to beautiful Detroit for the next Clegange Bowl (I guess the Lions would be considered the third Clegange that wasn’t interesting enough to make the show). There is also an asterisk by this game because all though the Lions are undefeated, they tied the Cardinals who are not good. Nonetheless, they have a 0 in the loss column, therefore, they are undefeated. Can Patrick Mahomes be slowed down? Who will be his favorite weapon this week? I like the Chiefs in this game for many reasons. This is Patrick Mahomes’ first game in a closed stadium and he may just throw a ball through the stadium walls. The Lions are disheveled right now with Darius Slay and Danny Amendola questionable for game time. Will both play, probably. Especially because a win tomorrow would capitalize on the Packers loss Thursday night. With Slay on Watkins, the rest of the defense will have to keep Kelce and Shady in check. If you can limit their impact this could be a close game. Clayton Kershaw’s high school baseball teammate, Mathew Stafford has proven to be reliable as ever this season. The Lions just might have a chance to pull off a miracle upset if the chips all fall correctly. Howeva, if I were a betting man I would HAMMER the Chiefs. They are just way too good and it doesn’t matter who they play.

Prediction: Chiefs 31 – Lions 20

Jaguars @ Broncos

Last preview for the blog. What better way than to spend 57 words than describing the flow of Gardner Minshew’s mustache in the Mile High Air. With every slow-motion step, the thistle above the whistler floats a little more freely at 5,200 feet. No oil needed today, just let the crisp, rocky mountain air blow the upper-lip lettuce for the camera. Von Miller, staring up from his 3 point stance, doesn’t even need his hipster glasses to see he is in big trouble. Can the Rookie keep it going against this Vic Fangio led Denver defense who is yet to sack a quarterback this season? Gardner has had 10 days to rest that stache and arm and is coming off his first NFL win. He just met uncle Rico (who has to have smoked 4 packs a day since voting for Pedro). I LOVE the Jaguars here. Fournette has had time to rest up and will attempt to go for his first 100-yard rushing game this season. The only thing that may hold the Jaguars back is not having Jaylen Ramsey in the secondary. However, they terrorized Marcus Mariota last weekend and are tied for first in sacks. Flaco was able to get the ball out quickly against the Bears, so him and EMan may have another big game. I still like the Jaguars because they are a much better all-around team.

Prediction: Jaguars 23 – Broncos 10

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