Poosaster, poonami, pooplosion: there are many names to what I am describing, and each one perfectly explains the situation. Poop. Lots of poop. Poop up the back. Poop up the front. Poop through the clothing. Poop all over the change table. It is the worst!!!!

As an aside, did you know that Canadians use the poop emojis more than any other English-speaking country? This is as per SwiftKey’s “emoji report.”

I am not ashamed to admit it, but I’ve come very close to throwing up from a poonami. Literally gagging.

To be honest, I don’t think there is any way to deal with the situation in a clean manner, but we have learned some tricks along the way from friends and family, and now experience.

Trick number one: You know those really cute little fabric overlaps on your baby’s onesie? Before having a baby, I always thought it was just some weird baby fashion thing. Then, I realized that it can be good for getting the onesie over the baby’s head by opening it up a bit. But, then I learned the truth – it is made for poosasters! Open up those bits of fabric a bit, and slide the onesie DOWN over the baby’s body, so you don’t get poop all over their face.

Trick number two: When there is poop up the back, fold some wet wipes around the back of the dirty diaper, giving you some clean space to work with.

Trick number three: always travel with a full bag of wet wipes, as a real pooplosion can use hundreds of wetwipes.

Trick number four: always travel with a few pairs of baby clothing, as you might need to do a full outfit change on the go.

Trick number five: if you’re partner is around, call them ASAP. Tell them to drop whatever they are doing. Four hands is really preferable in these situations to maneuver the baby.

Good luck, and god speed!