UPDATE: We got punked! The original greasy monster KFC Zinger Double Down returns with a new Hawaiian version too.

Look, we get it. Y’all are really into healthy eating right now, what with your overpriced quinoas, protein plates, superfood salads and organic, pesticide-free chocolate salty balls. It’s been a big enough trend for us to even push out a listicle on where to get healthy lunches in the CBD (which you should totally click, like, and share, merci beaucoup).

KFC — the fast food brand that came up with artery-cloggers like the Chizza and Deep-Fried Corn Soup — has unfortunately succumbed to the health food craze, betraying the “Fried” part of “Kentucky Fried Chicken”. Behold and despair, thee chicken connoisseurs, for KFC Singapore has just launched the Double Steamed Chicken burger, the healthier version of its classic, heart-attack-inducing Double Down.

With this unholy creation (made of sauerkraut coleslaw, pickles, and sambal honey sauce sandwiched between steamed chicken fillets), it’s definite proof that every day we stray further away from God’s light. Own up — which of y’all demons from the blandest circle of hell actually demanded for KFC Singapore to come up with a guilt-free alternative to the Double Down?

Verily, our Hot Devil Drumlets hero and champion did not have any hand in this at all. Other Double Down devotees were similarly let down by this mutant albino cousin:

They do have a point — you don’t go to KFC expecting to order healthy, delicate entrées that restore balance to your chakra or something. No, your true purpose at KFC is to feast on oily, greasy chicken flesh that’s been overly battered and pressure fried, which was what the good ol’ colonel died for.

Though it doesn’t exactly look like something we’d ever part with our money for, you can rely on us to munch on the Double Steamed Chicken burger tomorrow (so you don’t have to). For science.

Oh, and speaking of weird-ass food creations, PrimaDéli just launched a special chocolate croissant that’s essentially a Kit Kat bar wrapped in pastry. Yeah, we kid you not.

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