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Part Two Of The Dramatic Saga Of Boston’s First Cat Cafe

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Just in case you missed yesterday’s premier of the most dramatic, expansive, blog in our history – you can catch up here:

Part Three (The finale at is stands) will be posted on Friday morning at seven o’clock.



When I left you guys yesterday the owner of Boston’s PURR Cat Cafe, Diane Kelly, had hit a point you don’t return from. She, probably in a drunken stuper, had threatened to sue anyone challenging her business, typing as her cat Gus.

People had called her out on several lies, watched at she self-destucted her own business, and became the laughing stock of the Internet before even opening her doors.

This tail (pun) of doom wasn’t even close to over yet.

Meow. Cough. You’re a Slut.

After people stopped scream-laugh face-palming at the “cat is gonna sue” post – Diane tried to go back to posting a united, yet horribly fake, front for anyone who was following her page. Seeing that she didn’t have any updated photos of progress (including staff, the basement, a rescue partnership, or a single foster cat) she began to use recycled pictures of better times in hopes of making people think things were fine.

Not a single person was buying it and they all continued pushing for answers each time Diane tried to blow smoke up their asses. One such post was from some odd event on Boston Common called “Caturday.”

It was clearly written to show PURR had many staff members and supporters. It claimed to speak for everyone in the picture.

There was only one problem. No one, with the exception of Diane, was actually still associated with Purr. Kathleen, PURR’s former manager, was rightfully bullshit when she saw her former boss, who still owed her $2k in wages, posting her picture and speaking as if she was still part of the team. Once again, Kathleen decided to publicly clarify.

Diane, who you’ll remember claimed to be smart business woman, opted not to remove the photo. Instead, felt publicly slut-shaming her former employee, and opening herself up to a discrimination lawsuit, was a better course of action.

Jaw+Lap =Zomg.

My inner-diva actually cocked my head, snapped my fingers, and said “oh noooo she diduuuunt.”

You know what? I personally could never open up my relationship. (Well, unless Mr. Turtlegirl finds some chick to plow that does the dishes and folds the laundry, in which case, consider my relationship wide open and taking applications.)

Does that mean I give a flying crap about what other people do in their lives? Nope.

Does it mean I wouldn’t hire someone because of it? Double nope.

Does that mean I would publicly call them out if they had pissed me off even though that’s my job? Triple nope.

The only reason why Diane decided to blast Kathleen for her personal relationship choices was out of spite. Nothing else. Dianw was probably a little jelly that Kathleen could land two dudes when she clearly couldn’t land one. Diane took what she knew about Kathleen and tried to use it as a weapon. It backfired and only made her look like an even bigger asshole. After this stunt, Kathleen said two more employees sent her messages stating they had quit as soon as they saw Diane had written.





WE HAVE NO CATS KATHLEEN!

It was no surprise that Kathleen took the gloves off. Her clap back was nothing short of applaudable.

Next comes possibly my favorite part. Kathleen decides to show the extent of crazy she endured while working for Diane by posting emails she had received. Kathleen claims Diane would have these flip outs, calling or sending messages in the middle of the night, and if the employee didn’t immediately answer or get back to her, she would question their dedication.

The emails begin with Kathleen trying to keep the partnership with Boston’s Forgotten Felines afloat. Diane, who still hadn’t touched the unsuitable basement, couldn’t seem to wrap her head around the fact she was at fault for the rescue not delivering the cats.

Diane is nasty with Kathleen and decides to break the partnership with BFF instead of just making the basement a proper home for the animals.

Then, in what becomes the catch phrase for this entire saga, Diane decides in an ever-so-shrill way that Kathleen doesn’t need to work at PURR. The reason?

“WE HAVE NO CATS KATHLEEN!’

When Kathleen demands the respect she deserves and asks for some protocol to be put in place for professionalism, Diane doesn’t acknowledge anything she had written. Instead, she begs Kathleen to not to quit and wafts part-ownership of the sinking business under her nose to try and keep her around.

Aside from this damning evidence that BFF had not broken their partnership and Diane had been caught in a lie – I couldn’t help but laugh. The emails were almost too much for me to handle. I could actually imagine her twitch-typing and lifting her leg to scratch her ears with her toenails as she wrote it.

Catrol. Alt. Delete

After Diane saw that she been taken down in less than three screenshots, she deactivated the PURR business page. This is a move she will repeat until the world blows up, methinks. In the last week alone Diane has deactivated and reactivated the business page no less than four times. Currently, it’s gone.

Since Diane had deactivated the page, she had to find another outlet for her anger. She decides to go after the one she blamed for this whole thing – Kathleen. Using Gussie the Cat as her legal terminology advisor, Diane accused Kathleen of “defacing” PURR, and threatened to sue.

Much to my surprise, Aimee, the PURR manager who had quit prior to Kathleen, decided it was time to break her silence. She confirm something we all suspected – Diane likes the meow-sauce.

Aimee’s next statement showed exactly how hard Diane had snapped.

-record scratch-

Wait! What was that last part again?!

You’re fucking kidding me right? Diane, who was still partnered with BFF at the time, actually tried to get her employee to scam the MSPCA to get cats for the cafe. I believe Aimee was referring to the “fee-waived” event, which is when the MSPCA doesn’t charge their usual $250 adoption fee for cats. That still means the person adopting the animal has to sign a legally-binding contract stating the signer will be in possession of the animal, subject to home inspections, pay for all healthcare, forfeit the animal back to the MSPCA if they can’t care for it or have to give it up for some reason, and if they break the contract they’re subject to a cash penalty. Gee, I wonder why Aimee turned it down?

Not to mention the possibility of cats obtained under false pretenses, being forced to live in horrible conditions, was of zero concern to Diane. Can I bring up the underlying issue of fraud here? Maybe note the state’s rigorous application process and regulation requirements she would have needed to meet to become a rescue – had she planned on pretending the cats were looking for new homes and adopting them out of the cafe. Seeing that she’s claimed a billion times that facilitating new homes for rescue cats was the main mission of PURR it seems entirely plausible





The Bitch Eating Crackers In Brighton

After a day or so away from social media Diane reactivated the PURR page. She must have felt really bad about being such a fur-burger and tried to apologize for her unprofessional comments about Kathleen.

Doubtful. It seems that the mystery PR dude didn’t die by the pink machete after all. Another battle must have ensued as a cat, saying he was rescued by Diane but had been given to friend of hers, mysteriously gained access to try and quell the hysteria and defend her.

It went over as well as a fart in church. Anything Diane, or whatever cat was typing, said had become the proverbial “bitch eating crackers.”

She tried to kiss ass by saying she was helping special needs folks and wanting to turn PURR in to a cat hair-filled food pantry.

People dissected everything she said and lobbed it back in her face. They saw through Diane’s excuse about not having “good” pictures of the basement. A professional photographer even offered to come in, free of charge, and take “good” photos for her. Diane never even acknowledged her.

This must have been when Diane had her epiphany. She was going to open PURR to the world!

She sent this email out with the announcement of an open house!

I’m not sure what Diane was looking for here. People just wanted to know the cats would be okay in a finished basement and she couldn’t even give them that. She, or whoever was dodging the questions about photos, had failed once again.

As Diane did every time she didn’t get the response she wanted – she threw a fit.

Don’t worry. Denying Boston “Meow, Meow, Purr” would last about fifteen minutes before she kept the litter box fire going. It just kept getting crazier.

Stay tuned for part three when the open house bombs, Diane slut-shames Kathleen AGAIN, is forced to apologize AGAIN, and Diane’s new partner turns out to be an actual Nazi.

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