HAMILTON – After announcing the Ford government was cancelling Hamilton’s LRT, Ontario’s Transportation Minister Caroline Mulroney was escorted out of the city.

Ten LAV III and two Leopard man battle tanks were summoned to the downtown area crushing any vehicles that stood in the Minister’s way.

“This LRT system will cost taxpayers 2 trillion cents over 120 years,” said Mulroney behind bullet-proof glass to an empty room. “We didn’t know of the full extent of when we converted Canadian dollars into Mexican pesos. It looks so much more expensive, and the Liberals were lying to Ontarians for years by not converting the numbers.”

Close air support was called in the event a city councillor threw a live question at the minister outside of the building about the project’s sudden cancellation or attempted to detonate a dissenting opinion.

“In the end, Hamilton gets a better deal by requiring everyone to buy a car and wait in traffic,” added Mulroney putting on her flak jacket and tightening her VIP helmet.

The convoy was given orders to only shoot at things that could give Mulroney and the PC government bad publicity.

According to sources, Hamilton Mayor Fred Eisenberger was run over by the convoy after Mulroney gave the order not to stop in any circumstances until the convoy got back to the Toronto bunker.