Tool have always been a hot-button band on MetalSucks. Axl and I are staunch defenders and make no apologies about worshipping at the temple: fucking TOOL! Ridiculously great band, on record and live, and those who hate are just ignorant. Who gives a fuck about the whole “are they metal or not?” debate because what is this, 7th grade?

But today I had a genuine “eureka” moment while watching the below video of ’00s butt rock darlings Breaking Benjamin covering Tool’s “Prison Sex.” It dawned in me: Tool did this! Created an entire genre! It’s all their fault! Breaking Suckjamin and Theory of a Dead Suck and Puddle of Suck and the like all tried to be Tool and weren’t that good at it, but their dumbed-down version was just what America’s middle-section wanted and needed, and it worked.

Thousands of sane people probably had this same realization a decade ago, but I’ve been too enamored of Tool this whole time to see it. And now I feel like a fool who’s just had the wool pulled back from over his eyes.

Still, I can’t blame Tool, the same way I can’t blame Faith No More for Limp Bizkit or Motley Crue for Poison and so on and so forth. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Or wait… is it don’t hate the game, hate the player? Whatever. Tool didn’t mean it, scout’s honor! They had no idea this would happen. They couldn’t have. And they probably hate that it’s happened even more than we do.

Anyway: good God, this cover fucking sucks. It just sounds awful. Dude can do a decent enough Maynard impersonation, but yeesh… the whole thing just sounds dumb. Dumb dumb dumb.

[via The PRP]