Supernatural human and running back Tevin Coleman is making his NFL debut for the Atlanta Falcons tonight on ESPN's Monday Night Football. We're logging every single one of his touches, because we're weird and creepy fans that have nothing better to do than sit very close to the television with Vine open.

Observations so far:

1. Kyle Shanahan is kinda dumb.

2. Devonta Freeman is not all that good

3. Tevin Coleman is good (when people feel like, you know, blocking for him.)

4. Julio Jones also seems to be good at football.

5. Tevin won't see the field a ton on third downs.

Without further ado, EVERY DANG TEVIN COLEMAN CARRY SO FAR:

1. THE FIRST CARRY, STRAIGHT UP THE GUT, FOUR YARDS

2. TECO BACK, 9 YARDS

3. RIP #68, 5 YARD LOSS

4. [haha i'm sorry i had to go to the bathroom it was a nice little 3 yard gain i promise]

--

5. YEAH KEEP THEM LEGS MOVIN, 4ish yards

6. BOUNCE IT OUTSIDE FOR FIVE, BOY

7. ALMOST SIX, FOUR YARDS ISH

8. GOOD HUSTLE, 6 YARDS

9. THIS IS ANTI TRENT RICHARDSON, 3 YARDS

10. HIT THAT HOLE WITH SPEEED, 4 YARDS

No huge gainers for Coleman yet -- just 31 yards over these 10 carries, but every run has gone for at least 3 yards. Except, well, you know, the one where his right guard, like, died.

We'll keep updating this as the game goes on -- or until mom yells at us for sitting too close to the TV.