“Change is inevitable.” - Benjamin Disraeli

Whether good or bad. You can find loads of articles claiming why changing from introvert to ambivert is not possible. How our brains are wired when we are born. This article is only for people who want to change their lives. I am not saying being an introvert is bad. Not everyone likes the way circumstances in early life made them who they are now. Some people may even hate themselves for having shyness.

Accept yourself

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” - Mark Twain

First write a list of all the good things and bad things about yourself. This is for self awareness. Knowing about yourself is very important. You can even take some days to complete this list. If you have no idea about yourself ask your parents, friends, etc. But don’t write them blindly without thinking yourself. You have to be honest with yourself. Now be grateful for all the good things and have faith that you can change the bad things. You can read the good things list to yourself when you are angry with yourself or when you feel insecure, unworthy .

Writing the bad things about themselves is a very difficult task for the majority. That’s why the majority cannot change. We live an age where we escape through life by engaging in distracting behaviors like binging series, movies, gaming,social media, etc. Even reading motivational articles for several hours is a way of distraction if you don’t act and apply the knowledge gained from them.

Accepting yourself doesn’t mean becoming complacent. It means being in peace with yourself. Don’t wish to be someone else. If you are reading this to become someone else please stop reading. By becoming someone else you lose yourself. That person’s journey is different yours is different. It will never do any good it is not worth the effort.

Why you need to change

“If your why is strong enough you will figure out the how.“ - Bill Walsh

Write a list why you think you should change. It may even include situations where you felt helpless. It will give you all the required motivation to change yourself. Especially incidents from childhood should be there. Moments when you felt hopeless , hated yourself. This is a very difficult task.

” Don’t wish it were easier wish you were better.” - Jim Rohn

You have to dig deep from all the painful experiences in your past. Assure yourself that you won’t face these kind of experiences in future.

When you complete the good, bad and why list. Congratulations you have completed what the majority won’t do. Many people for feeling better in the moment won’t write these lists completely and faithfully. But by feeling bad in the moment you are creating a pathway to the future where you have may have no regret.

Don’t change yourself for others. If you really want to change yourself you will change no matter what happens. If your why is not strong enough it will be difficult to change yourself.

Now for these situations in your why list mentally visualize how you would act or react when you are changed.

You may even call remember these lists as the good , bad and ugly lists .

Have belief

Believe it is possible. Believe you can change yourself. Think you are doing it for yourself. Visualize how great it would be if you changed yourself. Think of the good things that would happen. Think how happy or proud you would be. Stop worrying about it. Know that you will change.

Choose your traits

Think of yourself like a scientist who can add or remove your characteristics to yourself and start tinkering. Now you have to decide to work on ambivert traits.

For example if you are shy and introverted, talking with others easily without becoming anxious, feeling confident in your own skin would be your top priority. Also for shy people being in a place where many people are present(party), social skills would be important . Starting conversation with strangers or new people, listening to people instead of thinking how the other person thinks about us, talking with authority, having a pleasing personality, smiling more, looking people in the eye when talking are should also be practised.

Plan

Create a plan to start implementing new behaviors. Don’t put too much stress on yourself. Don’t think you can finally live after completing your plans and becoming your desired person. You will actually be more happy during the journey. Don’t think about mastering these traits and becoming fearless unless you plan for long time.

For example for a person who has difficulty in communicating easily to well known people, the goal of talking to 5 strangers a day would be a plan for failure. Browse various websites modify plans according to needs. Always challenge yourself experience the happiness of passing through your internal barrier. Deliberately put yourself in new places. If you have started developing or practising a trait don’t feel like you are practising or a beginner for long time .

Give time to the process

It may even take months to completely change. But after acquiring each trait or overcoming each fear you will be a better person than you were before. Don’t think about what you are afraid about too much before doing it. You can’t become the best in the world in public speaking after speaking in public two times. If you stop thinking about the time it takes and start focussing on behaviors you can easily become the desired version of yourself.

Conclusion:

It is possible to change yourself if you believe it is possible and take action in the right direction. In the process you may feel like you are acting or behaving or being fake. It is normal when you do new things which you have never done before you may feel like you are being fake. But remember it is your old self not wanting to change. Challenge yourself and be content.