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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Fauci says task force pushed Trump hard to extend social distancing | New plan keeps guidelines through April 30 | Health workers brace for hellish month | Birx predicts up to 200K deaths | Volatile morning for markets | Navy hospital ship arrives in NY | Trump, Pelosi spar over virus response | Trump calls Pelosi a 'sick puppy' | New dates for 2021 Tokyo Olympics | Police seek new leads from 'Tiger King' viewers

WHAT TO EXPECT IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS

April 30 is the new 'Easter':

President Trump Donald John TrumpOmar fires back at Trump over rally remarks: 'This is my country' Pelosi: Trump hurrying to fill SCOTUS seat so he can repeal ObamaCare Trump mocks Biden appearance, mask use ahead of first debate MORE extended social distancing guidelines yesterday to continue through April 30, a shift since announcing last week that the country could be "opened up" by Easter Sunday on April 12. https://bit.ly/39qojih

In Trump's words: "Nothing would be worse than declaring victory before the victory is won. That would be the greatest loss of all."

On the death rate: Trump predicted the peak death rate from the virus would come around two weeks from now.

What to expect: "[Dr. Anthony Fauci Anthony FauciOvernight Health Care: US coronavirus deaths hit 200,000 | Ginsburg's death puts future of ObamaCare at risk | Federal panel delays vote on initial COVID-19 vaccine distribution White House seeks to change subject from 200K COVID-19 deaths Putin calls on UN to strengthen World Health Organization MORE, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases] earlier Sunday had said the United States could see 1 million cases of COVID-19, the disease caused by the coronavirus, and 100,000 to 200,000 deaths.

NEW TIDBIT -- HOW THE DECISION WAS MADE:

Fauci, the government's top infectious disease expert, said he aggressively lobbied President Trump to extend the social distancing guidelines. https://bit.ly/2UqICI6

Fauci said on CNN's "New Day" this morning: "We felt that if we prematurely pulled back, we would only form an acceleration or rebound of something, which would put you behind where you were before, and that's a reason why we argued strongly with the president that he not withdraw those guidelines."

More from Fauci's CNN interview: https://cnn.it/39wMjAi

DR. BIRX ESTIMATED THAT UP TO 200K PEOPLE COULD DIE:

In an interview with NBC's "Today," White House coronavirus response coordinator Dr. Deborah Birx Deborah BirxControversial CDC guidelines were written by HHS officials, not scientists: report Trump coronavirus adviser threatens to sue Stanford researchers Trump disputes CDC director on vaccine timing, says 'he made a mistake' MORE warned that if "we do things almost perfectly," deaths could still be up to 200,000. https://bit.ly/2UMJZjp

Watch Birx's full explanation: https://bit.ly/2WUEtxG

UGH -- EXPECT A HELLISH MONTH:

Via The Hill's Reid Wilson, "Beginning this week, some hospitals are expected to reach their maximum capacity, case counts will rise exponentially, and the number of available ventilators and beds in ICUs will plummet. Models and projections show the month of April will be a public health catastrophe unlike anything in modern memory." What to expect: https://bit.ly/2Joi3Nt

THIS MORNING -- MARKETS ARE SHOWING VOLATILITY:

Via The Hill's Niv Elis, "the Dow Jones Industrial Average was up 200 points, about 1 percent, in early trading before dropping into red territory, while the S&P 500 increased 33 points, about 1.3 percent, before retreating from most of its gains."

It's Monday. Today is National Doctors Day, which could not be more fitting. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

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ANNOUNCED THIS MORNING

A stay-at-home order in Maryland:

Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan (R) issued a "stat at home" order for all residents. https://bit.ly/39y7X7b

When it starts: 8 p.m. EDT tonight.

What that means: Residents should not leave their homes unless it is for an essential reason.

IN THE WHITE HOUSE

Trump calls Nancy Pelosi Nancy PelosiPelosi: Trump hurrying to fill SCOTUS seat so he can repeal ObamaCare House lawmakers reach deal to avert shutdown Centrist Democrats 'strongly considering' discharge petition on GOP PPP bill MORE a 'sick puppy':

President Trump lashed out at Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) after she slammed his response to the coronavirus. https://bit.ly/3byuAtR

Trump said on "Fox & Friends" this morning: "It's a sad thing. She's a sick puppy in my opinion. She's got a lot of problems."

What sparked this reaction: On CNN's "State of the Union" yesterday, Pelosi accused Trump of downplaying his response to the coronavirus. https://bit.ly/3byuAtR

In Pelosi's words: "…the other day when he was signing the bill, he said just think 20 days ago everything was great. No, everything wasn't great … We had nearly 500 cases and 17 deaths already. And in that 20 days because we weren't prepared, we now have 2,000 deaths and 100,000 cases." More from Pelosi's interview: https://cnn.it/3dF277k

SIGHTS AND SOUNDS FROM THE CORONAVIRUS TASK FORCE PRESS BRIEFING YESTERDAY:

On social distancing of the White House press corps: "Tremendous distance between chairs," Trump opened his Rose Garden press briefing. Photo of the press: https://bit.ly/2WReZ4l

Trump on a treatment in New York: "The president says [hydroxychloroquine] is now being administered to 1100 people along w a ZPAC in NY. He says it's only been two days; previously, officials said those trials began earlier last week" https://bit.ly/2UJwZv0

The nicest cabinet room in all the land: "Very nice one actually, it's called the cabinet room," Trump said. https://bit.ly/2ULQZNp

Trump on the tests administered in the United States: "We've been doing more tests than any other country anywhere in the world. It's one of the reasons that we have more cases." Some context, from The Washington Post's JM Rieger: "The U.S. lags behind many countries in testing per capita. As of Friday, the U.S. had only tested 0.2% of its population." Watch Trump talk about testing: https://bit.ly/2QRXNrS

A little observation: The New York Times's Maggie Haberman Maggie Lindsy HabermanBiden, Pence cross paths at NYC 9/11 ceremony The Hill's 12:30 Report - Presented by Facebook - Trump floats 0M+ in personal spending for reelection bid The Hill's 12:30 Report: Washington reacts to scathing Trump military story MORE tweeted, "[Trump] and Cuomo have the same accent. #queens #nyc" https://bit.ly/3bDIATg

IN NEW YORK

How many cases: 59,568 cases of COVID-19 have been identified in the state. Helpful map from The New York Times: https://nyti.ms/2UwFJ8V

A Navy hospital ship arrived in Manhattan: The USNS Comfort, with 1,000 hospital beds, arrived in New York this morning to help relieve the burden at local hospitals. Up-close photo of the ship and more info from NY1: https://bit.ly/3avVH8F

^ Video of the hospital ship arriving: Via WCBS Radio's Steve Scott.

Watch: https://bit.ly/2Uu8lj6

Friend sent this pic of the USNS Comfort arriving in NYC, as seen from the Financial District pic.twitter.com/56BmUpnPL7 — Miriam Elder (@MiriamElder) March 30, 2020

USNS Comfort has arrived in NYC. It’s passing World Trade Center right now on the Hudson River. I can hear cheering from Jersey City. pic.twitter.com/a7kTK2dmQh — Kevin Rincon (@KevRincon) March 30, 2020

Watch: https://bit.ly/2Utlfh9

What New York looks like right now: "No traffic, no crowds, no energy. These are photos of New York now," from The New York Times: https://nyti.ms/2Uul4SY

LIGHTER TIDBITS

This photo gave me chills: Here's a photo of Georgia health care workers on a Southwest plane headed to New York to help treat coronavirus patients. The viral photo: https://bit.ly/3dDi0LD

I aspire to be this man: A 101-year-old man has been released from the hospital after recovering from the coronavirus. Putting it into perspective: "This old man was born in 1919, the same period of the Spanish Flu, the pandemic that killed approximately 30 to 50 million people globally. He grew up between World War I and WWII and now, he turned out to be the oldest patient to recover from COVID-19 in Italy." The full story: https://bit.ly/39ug58I

IN OTHER NEWS

New dates for the Tokyo Olympics:

The Tokyo Olympics are now scheduled to run from July 23 – Aug. 8, 2021. https://bit.ly/3dBu9Rg

Raise your hand if you watched Tiger King this weekend:

Via WFLA, "the sheriff of Hillsborough County is asking for new leads in the case of missing Jack 'Don' Lewis, the ex-husband of Big Cat Rescue CEO Carole Baskin." https://bit.ly/2UvW2mq

Why: "The popularity of Netflix's newest hit documentary 'Tiger King' has undoubtedly been heightened by the coronavirus pandemic. With everyone indoors watching television, it won't be too long before the whole country starts coming up with their own theories of what happened to Don Lewis."

The sheriff's tweet this morning: https://bit.ly/39y66PL

NOTABLE TWEETS

Omg, this is incredible:

To encourage people to stay at home, Netflix is posting spoilers to shows in public places.

Netflix have completely smashed it out the park with “you should have stayed at home” pic.twitter.com/mqpLnT5Dn6 — tiara (@tar_rar) March 29, 2020

Now these are the social distancing plans that I want to have:

planning a wedding for tomorrow between a stuffed bunny and stuffed lamb. their song is "can't keep my hands to myself" and food will be peanut butter on little spoons — chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 28, 2020

ON TAP

The House and Senate are out. President Trump and Vice President Pence are in Washington, D.C.

11:30 a.m. EDT: President Trump and Vice President Pence participated in a video teleconference with governors to discuss COVID-19.

1 p.m. EDT: President Trump has lunch with Vice President Pence.

2:30 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence leads a White House Coronavirus Task Force meeting in the Situation Room.

3:30 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence leads a roundtable with CEOs to discuss partnerships on the COVID-19 response.

WHAT TO WATCH

5 p.m. EDT: The White House Coronavirus Task Force holds a press briefing. Livestream: https://bit.ly/3dzr18B

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Turkey Neck Soup Day.

And to lighten the mood a little, here's a dog braving the scary ocean water to rescue his ball. You can do it, pup!: https://bit.ly/33XqLMa