30 January, 2016. 11:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Tennis Australia is in damage control this morning amid claims that a 35-year-old man was able to infiltrate the ‘ballkid’ program.

Dennis Lindon, a disability pensioner from Caboolture, allegedly applied for the position of ballkid by using his nephew’s identity.

Police have ruled out pressing charges against the former roofer, explaining that Mr Lindon hasn’t broken any law under the Crimes Act, but he should take a long hard look at himself and work to amend his morally bankrupt behaviour.

At this time, Tennis Australia can confirm that Lindon performed his duties as a ballkid in four matches before he was caught shaving in the disabled toilet. In addition to that incident, he was caught smoking in the park adjacent to the tennis centre while in uniform.

“We can confirm that a 35-year-old was admitted to the ballkid program,” said one official. “We can also confirm that we caught him smoking, but upon learning that he was from Caboolture, we decided that it’s perfectly normal for a 13-year-old boy to enjoy a filterless White Ox after a hard day’s work.”

“We can also confirm that we caught him smoking, but upon learning that he was from Caboolture, we decided that it’s perfectly normal for a 13-year-old boy to enjoy a filterless White Ox after a hard day’s work.”

“However, when our team caught him shaving in a disabled toilet while flicking through a ‘homegirl’ special edition of PictureMag, Tennis Australia decided to terminate Mr Lindon’s employment at that time.”

Reactions have been mixed regarding Dennis’ ruse to enjoy blockbuster tennis for free, with some punters recoiling in disgust, while other’s have labelled Lindon ‘a mad cunt.’

More to come.