Here’s yet another incident of culture-enriching shenanigans on a Dutch highway. The cops pull this Muslima over for using her phone while driving, but it turns out she’s listening to the Koran…

Many thanks to C for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes for the subtitling:

Video transcript:

00:00 From Rijswijk we continue to the Central Netherlands area, in Maartensdijk on the A27.

00:06 Patrolmen Patrick and Jan-Bart spot a van, the driver of which has a phone in her hand.

00:11 Did you see it, Pat? The little lady behind us? —Yes, she’s on the phone.

00:16 I turned on the sign… and she’s still yapping… oh.

00:21 Is it gone? —No, she still has it. She’s still on the phone.

00:27 They pull the woman over to fine her.

00:30 Good day, madam. —I don’t want to be on camera! —Excuse me? —I don’t want…

00:33 Let me properly introduce myself… —I don’t want this to be recorded. —They will keep filming;

00:36 that’s not negotiable. —No, I won’t cooperate.

00:39 I don’t want it. —Madam, stop the engine for a moment, and if you’d shake my hand…

00:43 I will properly introduce myself. —No. —No? OK, then, I’d like your license please.

00:48 I… would you please… can I… do I have to?

00:53 No, it’s not obligatory, but… —It’s my privacy, right? First of all, I don’t want to be recorded.

00:58 Could I finish my sentence? That’d be convenient… —You can, but I want them to turn it off first.

01:02 No, they’ll record no matter what, it’s a public road and they’re allowed to film.

01:06 In that case I don’t want to comply, I have problem already. I’m in pain…

01:09 Yes, OK. You can give me your license, and you’ll get a fine for the phone call.

01:14 I wasn’t on the phone, sir. —Right.

01:17 I have a terrible toothache. It’s infected and I’m on antibiotics.

01:22 I was just listening to the Quran.

01:26 OK. In any case, you’re getting a ticket for holding your mobile phone…

01:31 while driving. Whether you’re listening to the Quran… —Because I don’t have a hands-free system…

01:36 Could you please stop [filming]? I’m just going… I can’t tolerate it. Period.

01:40 Could you stay seated…

01:43 The phone, can I have a look? That’s an iPhone?

01:47 I’ll file that as your statement, that you were listening to the Quran.

01:52 Yes, for the pain. —For the pain, OK.

01:55 Maybe… I think an aspirin would be more effective than the Quran.

02:00 Yes, that’s easy for you to say, because you don’t believe.

02:03 That’s what I think. —It works better than an anesthetic. —Yes? OK.

02:07 Well, let’s agree to disagree.

02:10 Could you not do that? Could you stay seated madam? —I’m asking nicely, yes?

02:14 I don’t want this recorded.

02:17 And I want you to stay seated, madam. Again, you are receiving a ticket,

02:21 as the law prescribes, for holding a mobile phone while driving.

02:29 I’d also like to ask you to wear your seat belt properly, because as it is now…

02:33 No, I can’t wear that seat belt. —You can’t wear it?

02:36 I have a letter from my doctor. —OK.

02:39 They [camera crew] don’t need to see this. —Well, all right.

02:43 Your doctor doesn’t have the proper authority, you need a special permit.

02:49 Police officers told me… this is what I had to do. — You need to request a permit.

02:53 I though this was sufficient. —No, you need a doctor’s letter

02:57 to request a permit from the ministry.

03:01 They can give you a permit; the doctor can’t say:

03:05 “Here’s a letter; you don’t have to wear a seat belt anymore.”

03:08 You keep that letter; I’ll take care of the permit.

03:11 OK, so you don’t need the letter, because apparently… —I really want to go;

03:14 I don’t feel well. Please, are we done? Can I go?

03:17 No. —Oh, my God. —You’re telling us how to do our job. The letter is not valid in any case…

03:24 OK, I’ll wear my seat belt. Please return the letter.

03:27 —We’ll record this as abuse of a doctor’s letter…

03:30 I have to go; I don’t feel well. I’m getting frustrated.

03:33 This bulls***… It’s just bulls***. I don’t appreciate it.

03:37 Could you for a moment… Please! Are we done? Are we done? —Just listen…

03:41 I’ll wear my seat belt. I want my permit and I’ll receive it at home. —I’ll make a note

03:46 that apparently you’re trying to wiggle out of wearing a seat belt using a doctor’s letter.

03:50 If you want that, you have to send this letter to the ministry, and they can… —OK, sir.

03:56 Fine, but could you keep it short? Please. Go and bother other people. I just want to leave.

04:00 At the moment you’re part of my job, madam. —Yes, I… yes, good luck with that. —I’m trying to

04:04 have a civil conversation. —This isn’t civil, with cameras present… Nobody would think that.

04:07 Before you drive off, stop the engine for a moment and put on your seat belt, madam.

04:14 If you’d walk away from me. —No, if you’d just put on the seat belt.

04:19 Like we agreed to. I think I’m being more than fair, and you’re trying to wiggle out of it.

04:23 If you drive off without a seat belt, you’ll get a ticket after all.

04:26 No, I’m staying here for a while. You guys can drive off.

04:29 Continue with your job. I just want to sit here for a moment.

04:32 Then I wish you a good day madam.

04:35 One more thing, madam. Madam, hello.

04:38 I have one more tip for you, your brake light is broken.

04:43 Maybe you can have it fixed. —Sure, I’ll have it fixed.

04:46 OK, have a nice day! —With a load of tips, and a steep fine for holding a phone while driving,