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Posted on February 28, 2012, Ben Richardson The 6 Ugliest Shepards of All Time

The Mass Effect 3 launch is just a week away, and millions of gamers will soon be getting reacquainted with familiar faces: old Commander Shepard designs imported from Mass Effect 2 and Mass Effect 1 save files. Fittingly for a game that focuses so heavily on its main character, Mass Effect offers a dizzying array of customization options. Most important, of course, is the decision to go FemShep, but there are other considerations at stake: should you try to make your Commander Shepard a self-portrait? Or a well-known celebrity? Alternatively, should you try to make your Shepard look as ugly as possible, then make an amusing Youtube video about it? Read on.

6. Scarface

Attention is immediately drawn to the disfiguring scar, but the wide-spaced eyes, chipmunk cheeks, and creepy perv mustache make this Shepard a well-rounded examplar of ugliness.

5. White Eyebrows

More wide-spaced eyes here, though the stand-out feature is of course the uncanny white eyebrows. Notice too the tiny, tiny nose, a subtle but effective disfigurement.

4. Muttonchops

Slider-based character design opens up all kinds of awful possibilities. If this character’s eyes were any farther apart, he’d be a Krogan. The eyes themselves, furthermore, are disturbingly squinty. Add them to the strangely-shaped chin and the oh-so-awkward muttonchops, and you’ve got one hideous Shepard.

3. Goth Shepard

Most of the ugly effect with this one is obviously created by the music, but the ebony lips and lifeless, staring eyes also add to the unsettling effect. A reminder, perhaps, that you never want to look too deeply into a video game characters eyes.

2. Curses, Foiled Again!

Big eyebrows, tiny moustache. This Shepard looks like a cross between Grand Moff Tarkin and a villain from a silent movie. The sharp, protuding butt-chin is another nice touch, completing the look of a man that never, ever laughs.

1. Ugly Shepard: The Series

This Shepard boasts the highest production values of any on this list, and easily takes the prize for ugliest. The big ears, beady eyes, and protuding mouth area combine to form an effect that’s downright simian. A face only an NPC with no other choice could love.