We split up almost as soon as the bus stops, before we're even off of it. It's not a hard call to make. I told all three of the girls the way Sayori and I spent that day here years ago, since every trip since then seems to all be the same, from what I can remember. We'll cover more ground in pairs, Yuri and Monika head one way, Natsuki and I the other. There's no way of knowing where Sayori might be, if my stupid hunch is even right, or if she's still-

We look and look and look. Morning passes beneath an increasingly dark and threatening sky. The four of us regroup close to one for lunch at a little cafe Sayori and I have stopped at every time we've come here since that first trip, then head back out. Having swept their side of the city before lunch, Yuri and Monika take to the beach, asking if anyone's seen our friend. Natsuki and I still have a few places to check- the aquarium, an arcade, a museum, but no one there has seen Sayori either. As we leave the funhouse, we're hit with a light drizzle. It keeps on as we trek across town to our next destination- the cliffs.

A weird feeling comes over me as we hike and climb our way to one of the highest bluffs; nostalgia, but the feeling that I might not ever see this place again. I remember taking this same path with Sayori all those years ago, the sky a fiery red-orange as the sun set somewhere beyond the sea. All four of our parents had come this time, and we had rented a suite at one of the bigger beachfront hotels, letting us stay out after dark instead of the usual dinner-time rule of our solo trips.

Today, though, there is no burning sunset. The heavens are dark and the sea darker, black glass reflecting gray clouds. It's inspiring, in a morbid sort of way, and I'm tempted to make a note in my phone or take a picture, to use this for a poem for the club later, but I don't really have an end to the thought- would it be a reflection of what I think Sayori might be feeling right now, or my own feelings? Even with Natsuki beside me, the only thing I feel as we stand at the top of the ridge is… empty. I don't feel the same way about Sayori as she does about me, but she's the best friend I have, and my life would suck without her. Without her, I wouldn't have met Natsuki, or Yuri, or Monika. I wouldn't have met a lot of people I'm friends with now, through Sayori directly, or through the Literature Club.

My face must have given it away. I think I was able to keep my expression flat and neutral during the climb, when Natsuki was a little behind and couldn't really see my face fully, but at the peak, looking out at that vicious looking sea… I got lost in my thoughts, and I must have shown it. I'm brought back as Natsuki moves a little closer, intertwining her fingers with mine, and we both stare out at the crashing swells in the distance. There's nothing to say, nothing that needs to be said.

We failed, again, and it's not any less crushing this time around.

We have to seperate as we make our way back down to the street. The trail is steep and muddy, and it sure seems like its more work getting down that it was climbing up. Both of us fall several times along the way, and by the time we reach the bottom, we're splattered with muck and stagnant water. Even worse, the clouds decide to unload on us with the full force of their fury, sending us skittering for a nearby bus stop, the only shelter in sight.

It doesn't end up providing nearly as much cover as I hoped. We huddle in one corner, Natsuki shielded on one side by the plexiglass barrier, on the other by me, and at first, the only part of us that really gets wet is our feet as the rain hammers down against the back of the stop, a little bit of it spraying up through the gap between the plastic partition and the cement of the sidewalk. Then the wind shifts, and downpour seems to be aimed directly at us. There's not enough time to move before it happens; one minute, we're a little damp and muddy but not completely ruined, the next, even with my trying to take the brunt of it, both of us are almost completely soaked through. With no point in staying there now, we hustle to the "safety" of a nearby shop's awning with a tired determination, then trudge to the underside of a building with large concrete columns in front of it, another funhouse by the look of it.

As we huddle behind one of the columns, finally safe from the downpour's attack, there's something familiar about this place I can't put my finger on. I can't nail down anything specific, but I sort of vaguely remember coming here at least once as a kid. At any rate, we haven't checked here yet, so I use half of the money I have left to buy tickets for myself and Natsuki. The better move would probably have been just to ask if anyone had seen Sayori or anyone like her around recently, but after coming up short on the last place I could think to look… a distraction while we waited to the rain to die down seemed… attractive. Not like we could do much more than stand around behind the columns until it did otherwise, soaked and miserable.

Passing through the lobby, we find ourselves going down a long, dark tunnel. At the far end, I can just barely make out the faint blue glow of a blacklight, but it never seems to get any closer. Thinking this is some kind of optical illusion, I turn and walk backwards for a few steps, but the white light of the lobby behind us does grow farther with each step. I manage to right myself without stumbling over my own feet like a fool, and in short order, we exit the tunnel, into a world of neon and silly mirrors. Murals and cutouts of monsters and demons line the walls, floors, and ceiling, a maze of wood-and-stone miscreations. Tinny, distorted music plays from all around, although in certain parts of the room, it sounds to like it's coming from strange places, like beneath the floor, or from inside a stone oni with no visible openings.

We take our time navigating the maze, pausing here and there to watch the few other customers trying to find their way around, or waiting for a particularly chokey cloud from a smoke machine to dissipate before proceeding. It's not exactly cheery, this weird, retro throwback to an age before phones and video games, before TV was widespread, by the looks of some of the painted-on creatures, considering why we've found ourselves in the beachside town today, but it does at least provide the distraction I was hoping it might, and I'm thankful for that.

Finally rounding the corner into the fourth (and penultimate) new room, I catch a glimpse of someone leaving through an opening on the other side of the chamber, just a flash, a little bit of their back, a blink-and-you-miss-it sight of peach-pink hair. There's still the maze of this room to navigate before we can reach the exit into the final room, but on seeing that, I stop, squinting into the glowing, blacklit darkness, unsure if I actually saw what I think I did. I don't say anything to Natsuki -not like she could hear me anyways… there's a speaker somewhere in this room blasting something I would describe as a cat being strangled over three serial killers scraping saws against a pile of human teeth while a fourth takes a metal bat to an abandoned car- but I pick up my pace, intent on following whoever I just saw. The maze in this room proves to be considerably more difficult than the previous three, however, and more than once, we end up at a dead-end and having to backtrack- a wrong turn here, a missed fork there.

When we break into the final room, the change in lighting is immediate and surprisingly dazzling for what it is. Ditching the radiant neon lights and goofy beasts of yore for hundreds of mirrors, all shapes, sizes, and distortions, the only thing lighting the place were a few dim, bare bulbs hanging from wires coming down from the ceiling. It seems an odd choice after the gaudy decor of the rest of the exhibit- trading all that flash for typical funhouse flimflam, tall, small, fat, skinny, big-headed, long-legged. It wasn't even fun to stop and look at, although that might more be the circumstances than any fault of the mirror-room itself.

We move through at a brisk pace, and find ourselves stepping out into a lobby more or less the same as the entrance, only at the far side of the building. Like the front, a few more curios and curiosities are on display here, on last offering of weirdness- a handful of "Fiji mermaids" in a large aquarium, a supposedly authentic Kumonga model (Natsuki moves very close to me as we pass by this), among other silly oddities from a bygone era. But no sign of the mystery person. I wonder if my mind has just been playing tricks on me.

The rain has calmed down, diminished back to a drizzle again by the time we reach the door, so we head back outside once again, unsure of where we're headed next. My phone buzzes a few steps away from the building, and I realize we must have lost signal at some point in the maze, as several texts from Monika come through at once, each with a later timestamp than the last. It seems she and Yuri aren't having any more luck than we are.

"Hey…" It's the first thing either of us have said in more than an hour, since before we started the hike up to the cliffs. I look up from the text I'm typing. "When we were in there, did you see someone that…" I know what she's about to say… I don't know if I want to hear it.

Natsuki doesn't finish her sentence. I wait, and wait, one eyebrow cocked, and then I realize she isn't staring at me, but looking past me, and I turn, only to see Sayori, who has a look like we've caught her with her hand in the cookie jar. I imagine I have a similar look on my face, and when I glance back at Natsuki, she definitely does.

It's an absolutely shock, a three-way Mexican standoff. No one speaks, no one moves. All three of us just stand there in bewilderment, slowly being saturated by the mist falling from the sky. Sayori's expression changes from fear to something I can't describe (disappointment being the closest thing I can think of) to guilt.

"I'm sorry," is the only thing she says as I pull her against me and hug her as tight as I can. She's crying by the time Natsuki moves to put her arms around both of us. Even though it's only been a few days since she went missing, it feels like Sayori has been gone for years, and I'm afraid if we let go of her, she might just suddenly be gone again.

So I don't. The three of us stand there in the rain for a long time, so long that my arms start to prickle with burning pins and needles. I still don't want to let go, but when Natsuki steps away, I follow suit. There's an uncomfortable silence (or close-to-silence, the sound of cars passing along nearby, the wind whistling through alleys, and Sayori sniffling) as I pull my phone back out and text Monika to tell her the good news. I feel like I should say something, but my mouth is so dry I don't know if I could even speak, if my brain could was capable of stringing more than two or three words together.

"Don't ever do that again." It's less of a lecture and more of a plea. Coming from Natsuki, it scares me. "We were all so worried about you! The police are looking for you and everything!" There's no sarcasm, no insults. Although I've watched Natsuki open herself up more to the club these past few months, it's still a surprising change from what I thought to be her "normal."

Sayori just mumbles "I'm sorry" again with a defeated look on her face. I know I should say something now, but I just can't seem to make my brain work. Even the text I send Monika is difficult to string together, and it reads like something out of a pulp novel ("Found Sayori. Meet at bus station."). I manage to nudge Natsuki, hoping she understands that I want her to stop but don't want to make Sayori -or Natsuki herself- feel worse by saying it outright. She seems to take the hint, and stops there. The two of us start walking, heading towards the street, but I stop after a few steps and turn back to find Sayori slowly walking away from us. "… Sayori?" is about all I can manage.

"Just go without me, MC. I'll catch up…" The defeat in her tone matches her plodding pace. It's like we beat her at a game she created the rules for, or took first place in a contest she thought she was going to win.

My heart sinks so far down I'm concerned it might lodge itself in my femoral artery and cause me to have a stroke. I can't help but remember the note, that it was address to me and no one else, not even her parents. It's not my fault, no matter how much I've wanted to blame myself every day since she disappeared, but… rejecting her had to have contributed to this. It couldn't have done her mental health any favors, that was for sure. I find myself suddenly hesitant to say anything else, not just unable to- if I say anything else, am I just going to make it worse for her because I care? I was the first person Sayori told about her problems, before the rest of the Cub. Does she feel like I think she's a burden, a responsibility, and not a friend?

"Sayori, stop." I speak without thinking, because I can't think, and if I take the time to try, this won't happen. "Me just- just saying this isn't going to convince you of anything… I know. I know how this works. But we're not better off without you, I'm not. You're my best friend, and you have been for as long as I can remember. Even… even if it's not like that, I still love you, and my would suck without you." That got her to stop, but she's still facing the other way. I don't know what to do, something in the back of my head is telling me she could bolt at any minute like a spooked animal. I have to keep trying. "We're here for you, me, Natsuki, Monika, Yuri, all of us. I probably wouldn't have met any of them if you hadn't dragged me along with you to the Literature Club. And they came with me to come look for you here without hesitation. Yuri paid for Natsuki's bus ticket. We're- we're all friends, us and you. We all came here to find you, Sayori, just… please, come home.

I don't know what I expected. I thought she might run back into my arms, or fall to her knees ugly-crying, apologizing again. Instead, all I get for my speech is a shrug. "I just always drag you guys down. Especially since I told you how unhappy I get… things are always darker when I'm around. I don't want you to have to worry about me anymore."

"It's okay, MC. Really. I've got a little bit of money left, once it runs out I'll just… fade away. Then everyone can be happy."

"I wouldn't…" I stop because there don't seem to be any words left in my head. I'm trying the best I can to stay steady, not to cry or get angry, to raise my voice or hyperventilate. My chest is so tight I'm convinced my heart is back where it should be, and my stomach is doing flips like I'm on a rollercoaster. I open my mouth to try and say something else and nothing comes out. I don't want to give up, but I don't know what else I can do. There's no way to win this, to change her mind, to convince her she's wrong, to convince her to try, at least no way that I can find.

The fight's left me. I just want to sit down on the wet cement and do… nothing. Urge to cry, urge to scream… both gone, just like that. I don't know what I was expecting to happen, if we found her, when I was refusing to accept "if", but it wasn't this. I don't know what else to do.

With this encounter seemingly over, Sayori continues the way she was heading before I stopped her, and goes out of sight around the corner. Natsuki and I stand frozen, watching her disappear again. There's a choice neither of us are old enough or experienced enough with life to make- keep hounding her, or respect her wishes. It's not an easy one, and it's one I don't want to make, but if any of us have to make it, it should be me. Biting my bottom lip, I follow her around the corner, Natsuki a few steps behind. "Sayori, don't do this."

The best friend I've ever had stops again, but this time she turns to look at us when she does, and I wish she hadn't. There's something far, far worse than sadness in her eyes, and as I look into them, at whatever that feeling is, it feels like my heart is trying to tear its way out of my throat, now.

"Why?" One word. One word, and suddenly I'm freezing despite it being a warm spring day. One word, and I don't know why anymore.

"Because… b-because…" I recognize this feeling now, having dealt with it off and on all week. Throat tight, chest tight, cold, hot, light-headed, heavy-headed, weighed-down… it's a feeling Sayori herself described to me, once- everything hurts.

I'm losing this fight.

I've lost this fight.

My voice cracks. I close my eyes, one hand over my face and the other against the rough brick wall of the building beside us, to keep me from falling. I'm going to be sick, I think. All this worry, all this anxiety. We all came out here on a notion, a dreamy premonition, and now I can't even come up with anything to help her, to give her a reason to come back to us. "Fuck…" is all I can manage to choke out, and I can barely hear it myself. Natsuki puts a hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it almost and wish I hadn't at once. The world feels like it's been tilted sideways and even that slight movement didn't help. I lean on my arm against the building, and I hear Natsuki say Sayori's name, but that's where she ends too- she can't find the right words, either. Maybe she can't find any words, like me.

This was supposed to be the last stand. We followed her to the end of the world, in a melodramatic, overproportioned way. We followed her even after she said not to, this was the last chance we got, and we blew it.

I gag; it's a dry heave.

Small miracles.

The world is still sideways, and now it's shaking, too, and I lower myself to my knees on the damp concrete. It doesn't matter that I'm kneeling in a puddle, and could have picked a drier spot, could move to a drier spot with just a few steps. Doesn't matter. Nothing matters. "It's not supposed to be like this…"

"No, but it is anyways. Life isn't fair, MC." Sayori crouches in front of me. My hand is still over my eyes, trying to block the light out, but I can tell by how close she is by how close her voice is. "It's hard, and sometimes you get dealt really bad cards." Eloquent Sayori isn't something I've seen much of, when she drops the happy-go-lucky-airhead routine and gets serious about something.

It doesn't make her words hit any softer.

"That's…" Another wave of nausea. My mouth is making too much saliva, and I struggle to swallow it. "That's not a reason to give up. There's medicine, th-there's- there's alternative therapy. I'll go with you, we'll do group sessions, don't-" I freeze as she pulls my hand away from my eyes. I've only seen that sad smile a few times -knowingly- and I hate it. "I don't- I don't want you to give up. You let us all in, let us keep trying to help. You're not alone, you're not… hate me."

"What?" Her expression changes, still sad, but confused, too.

I'm confused, but I decide to roll with it. "I'm not going to let you give up. I'll keep bugging you about this until you find something that works, even if- even if you end up hating me for it." I close my eyes again, just a few seconds, trying not to throw up. "If you want to give up without a fight, that's fine… I'll… I'll fight for you."

"I… I couldn't… you mean so much to me, MC-kun." It's the first time she's said my name with an honorific throughout this entire confrontation. "I could never hate you…"

"Then come home." I feel like a broken record. "I care about you. Natsuki and Monika and Yuri care about you. A lot of people care about you." I want reach out, to comfort her in some way, but I'm afraid if I even try she might run, like a startled kitten. "Please?"

That's the breaking point. Sayori falls into my arms, quietly sobbing into my shoulder. I hesitate a little at first, but quickly put my arms around her and don't let go. "It's gonna be okay, Sayori. We'll get through this together. All of us."

We leave the alley, soaked, Natsuki and I speckled with dried mud. It's a trek back to the bus station, and a somewhat grim reunion when we meet up with Monika and Yuri. I chalk it up to emotional exhaustion and lack of experience with this sort of thing. And once the other girls have expressed how happy they are that Sayori's okay, I don't think we need to say much of anything, anyways. I use the last of my money to cover my ticket and part of Sayori's; Monika picks up an extra for Natsuki. I feel a little torn, having to pick between the two of them, but I hope Natsuki understands. It's not like it was meant to be a slight at her… just seemed like one of us stepping up for Sayori without hesitation was the right thing to do.

It's a long ride home, too. My phone is constant buzzing as the news that we found Sayori spreads across our network of friends. I do my best to keep up with it, but eventually I set my ringer to silent and give up. Sayori falls asleep on my shoulder, and I cover her with my still slightly-damp jacket. Things will get better. We're here for her, no matter what.

After all, it can't rain all the time...