Thin privilege is being able to have a normal sex life with your loving boyfriend.

My boyfriend of 2 years and I are both what you would call fat (~320 lbs each but active and happy and healthy!). We love each other dearly and hope to be married one day, but due to our size and his relatively small (6") penis we are unable to have penetrative sex.

All the time my (thin) sister asks me if my boyfriend and I are having sex and I tell her yes to avoid embarrassment. Don’t get me wrong, we do other “fun” things in the bedroom ;) and I’m mostly satisfied with my sex life, but I can’t help but feel like I’m being shamed for not having traditional sexual intercourse. When she asks how our sex is I feel like I can sense her disgust and resentment of me for not being perfect like her.

Thin privilege is not having to hear people make references to your sex life without having it trigger thoughts about the one painful aspect of your relationship. Thin privilege is not feeling like you’re being bombarded with people/the media/everyone all talking about how great penetrative sex is. Thin privilege is not being shamed for your lack of sexual activity. Thin privilege is having a boyfriend who is able to satisfy you sexually.

Mod response:



Tell your sister to fuck off, and stop discussing your sex life with her. She’s being creepy.

Five to six inches is the average length for a penis. Your boyfriend’s penis is not short.

I’m fat, I’ve had PIV intercourse with a number of fat men with penises shorter than that, it is entirely possible. Go get yourself a good sex manual or three. Big Big Love is specifically for fat people, and while I personally found it a bit thin on practicalities, many people really like it. I’m a big fan of The V Book and The Guide to Getting It On. There are also a number of sites out there with good advice on positions to try.



A few tips: Do not be afraid to grab hold of your rolls, or your partner’s rolls, and move them. If you’re on your back and receiving, put a pillow or two under your butt (this one helps immensely, no, seriously). If you’re on your belly and receiving, try putting a pillow under your hips, your belly, or your chest, depending on where you’re getting too much pressure or not enough support. Also in that position, try different combinations, like with your knees together and him straddling you, or him between your thighs. Try getting on top. Try… actually, there are seriously tons of different positions. At least a few of them will work for your anatomies. Like I said, go get a sex manual, and try some out. Get creative. Also, use lube. It sounds like a little thing, and lost of people thinks they don’t need any help with this, but seriously, it’s amazing the difference just a little bit can make.



Also, remember that sex is not limited to PIV intercourse. Oral sex is sex. So is mutual masturbation. So is anal sex. So is anything that gets you off. Don’t limit yourself.



Go forth, and have awesome sex!



-MadGastronomer

