While Abbott's proposal is more generous than the government's safety net plan of 18 weeks at minimum pay, both schemes are fatally flawed. Discussed, designed and sold in the language of ''mums'', they flagrantly disregard the role men should - and many want to - play in the lives of their children. By failing to talk about childcare and paid leave as something of critical importance to children, men and women, both political parties doom us to more of the same work/life crunch. More oppressed women, more dissatisfied men, more children with exhausted mums and absent dads.

Did you know that Australian men - 68 per cent in one poll - want more involvement in their children's lives, but are impeded by work demands? Did you know that children whose fathers contribute meaningfully to their care have improved social skills, higher self-esteem and better results at school?

Do you know that children tell researchers they want to spend more time with their fathers, and no amount of additional mother-time quells that ache? Did you know that women doing most of the second-shift of childcare and housework report feeling guilty and exhausted? Those who work part-time or stay at home reduce their lifetime earnings by at least $160,000 per child, end up on the ''mummy track'' when they return to work and wind up with 50 per cent less superannuation than men on similar wages.

The most obvious solution to this problem continues to be overlooked - namely, that fathers and mothers share fairly the joys and burdens of paid employment and caring for their children - speaks volumes about the capacity of vested interests and entrenched social attitudes to stifle progress.

That this is the case seems particularly clear given the ease with which a gender-equity paradigm could be given effect in policy. All we need to do is this: we need to say ''parental leave'' and mean it. We need to follow the lead of comparable OECD countries by allocating paid parental leave entitlements to families in a way that allows them to share it, and with a use-it-or-lose-it component for dads.