The following is a transcription of Chris Rock’s opening monologue as host of the 2016 Oscars. He took the stage to Public Enemy’s “Fight the Power”:

Man, I counted at least 15 black people on that montage. Hey! Well, I’m here at the Academy Awards, otherwise known as the White People’s Choice Awards.

You realize, if they nominated hosts, I wouldn’t even get this job.

You all be watching Neil Patrick Harris right now. But, here’s the crazy thing. This is the wildest, craziest Oscars to ever host because we’ve all this controversy. No, no black nominees, you know? People are like, “Chris, you should boycott. Chris you should quit. You should quit!” How come it’s only unemployed people that tell you to quit something?


VIDEO: The five best lines from Chris Rock’s Oscars monologue >>

No one with a job ever tells you to quit. I thought about quitting. I thought about it real hard, but I realized they’re going to have the Oscars anyway. They’re not going to cancel the Oscars because I quit. And the last thing I need is to lose another job to Kevin Hart. I don’t need that. Kev right there! Kev makes movies fast. Every month. Porno stars don’t make movies that fast.

Now the thing is, why we protesting? That’s the big question. Why this Oscars? Why this Oscars, you know? It’s the 88th Academy Awards. It’s the 88th Academy Awards, which means this whole black nominees thing has happened at least 71 other times.

OK? You’ve got to figure that it happened in the ‘50s, in the ‘60s, you know? In the ‘60s, one of those years Sidney didn’t put out a movie. I’m sure there wasn’t no black nominees some of those years, say ’62 or ’63. And black people did not protest. Why? Because we had real things to protest at the time.


We had real things to protest! Too busy being raped and lynched to care about who won best cinematographer. You know, when your grandmother is swinging from the tree, it’s really hard to care about best documentary foreign short. What happened this year? What happened? People went mad. Spike got mad. Sharpton got mad. Jada went mad. And Will went mad.

Everybody went mad, you know. It’s quite like, Jada got mad? Jada says she’s not coming. Protesting. I’m like, “Isn’t she on a TV show?” Jada’s gonna boycott the Oscars? Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rhianna’s panties. I wasn’t invited.

That’s not an invitation I would turn down. But I understand. I’m not hating. I understand you’re mad. Jada’s mad her man Will was not nominated for “Concussion.” I get it. I get it. Tell you truth, I get it. You get mad. Said it’s not fair that Will was this good and didn’t get nominated. You’re right. It’s also not fair that Will was paid $20 millionfor “Wild Wild West,” OK?

OSCARS 2016: Full coverage | List of winners | #OscarsSoWhite controversy


This year, the Oscars, things are going to be a little different. Things going to be a little different at the Oscars. This year, in the In Memorium pacikage it’s just going to be black people that were shot by the cops on their way to the movies.

1 / 40 Brie Larson and Alicia Vikander backstage (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 2 / 40 Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet backstage (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 3 / 40 Leonardo DiCaprio backstage (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 4 / 40 Leonardo DiCaprio with his Oscar for best actor (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 5 / 40 Brie Larson celebrates (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 6 / 40 Alejandro Gonzalez Iñarritu backstage (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 7 / 40 Brie Larson (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 8 / 40 The cast of Best Picture “Spotlight” take a selfie backstage. (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 9 / 40 Lady Gaga (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 10 / 40 Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 11 / 40 Brie Larson (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 12 / 40 Alejandro Gonzalez Iñarritu (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 13 / 40 Alejandro Gonzalez Iñarritu (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 14 / 40 Sacha Baron Cohen (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 15 / 40 A Secret Service watches Vice President Joe Biden backstage (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 16 / 40 C3PO (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 17 / 40 Kevin Hart (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 18 / 40 R2D2 and C3PO (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 19 / 40 Kate Winslet (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 20 / 40 Mark Rylance (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 21 / 40 Cheryl Boone Issacs (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 22 / 40 Backstage at the 88th Academy Awards (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 23 / 40 Vice President Joe Biden (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 24 / 40 Andrew Whitehurst and Mark Ardington (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 25 / 40 Josh Singer and Tom McCarthy accept the award for Original Screenplay for “Spotlight.” (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 26 / 40 Paul Norris and Sara Bennett (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 27 / 40 R2D2 and C3PO (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 28 / 40 Pete Docter and Jonas Rivera (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 29 / 40 Oscar statuettes (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 30 / 40 Charlize Theron (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 31 / 40 Josh Singer and Tom McCarthy (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 32 / 40 Sam Smith (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 33 / 40 Adam McKay (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 34 / 40 Alicia Vikander (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 35 / 40 Charlize Theron (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 36 / 40 Adam McKay and Charles Randolph (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 37 / 40 Alicia Vikander (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 38 / 40 Emmanuel Lubezki (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 39 / 40 Benicio Del Toro and Jennifer Garner (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 40 / 40 Liev Schreiber and Priyanka Chopra (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times)

Yes, yes, I said it all right. Hey, if you want black nominees every year, you need to just have black categories. That’s what you need. You need to have black categories. You already do it with men and women. Think about it. There’s no real reason for there to be a man and a woman category in acting. There’s no reason. It’s not track and field. You don’t have to separate them. Robert De Niro has never said, I better slow this acting down so Meryl Streep can catch up. No. Not at all, man. If you want black people every year at the Oscars, just have black categories, like best black friend. That’s right. And the winner for the 18th year in a row is Wanda Sykes. This is Wanda’s 18th black Oscar.

But here’s the real question. Everybody wants to know in the world, “Is Hollywood racist?” You’ve got to go at that the right way. Is it burning-cross racist? No. Is it fetch me some lemonade racist? Naw, naw naw. It’s a different type of racist.


I remember one night I was at a fundraiser for President Obama. A lot of you were there. It’s me and all of Hollywood. All of us there. There’s about four black people there. Me. Let’s see, Quincy Jones. Russell Simmons. Questlove. You know, the usual suspects, right? And every black actor that wasn’t working. Needless to say, Kev Hart was not there.

So, at some point you get to take a picture with the president, you know. As they’re setting up the picture, you get like a little moment with the president. I’m like, “Mr. President. You see all these writers and producers and actors, they don’t hire black people. And they’re the nicest white people on earth. They’re liberals.” Cheese!

1 / 54 The cast of Best Picture winner “Spotlight” takes a selfie backstage at the 88th Academy Awards at the Dolby Theatre. (Al Seib / Los Angeles Times) 2 / 54 Director Tom McCarthy with the Oscar for best picture, “Spotlight.” (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 3 / 54 Actress Stacey Dash speaks onstage during the 88th Annual Academy Awards at the Dolby Theatre on Feb. 28, 2016. (Kevin Winter / Getty Images) 4 / 54 Michael Keaton and the cast and producers of “Spotlight” celebrate after winning the Oscar for best picture. (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 5 / 54 The production team and cast of Spotlight celebrate the award for best picture. (Mark Ralston / AFP/Getty Images) 6 / 54 Leonardo DiCaprio (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 7 / 54 Brie Larson (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 8 / 54 Alejandro Gonzalez Iñarritu, winner of Best Director with Tom Hardy (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 9 / 54 Alejandro Gonzalez Iñarritu (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 10 / 54 Lady Gaga performs (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 11 / 54 Lady Gaga and abuse survivors (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 12 / 54 Daisy Ridley and Dev Patel (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 13 / 54 Vice President Joe Biden (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 14 / 54 Director Laszlo Nemes (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 15 / 54 Chris Rock and Girl Scouts (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 16 / 54 Dave Grohl during the In Memoriam segment (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 17 / 54 Whoopi Goldberg (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 18 / 54 Kate Winslet and Reese Witherspoon (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 19 / 54 Kate Winslet and Reese Witherspoon (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 20 / 54 Chris Rock (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 21 / 54 Asif Kapadia and James Gay-Rees (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 22 / 54 Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 23 / 54 Louis C.K. (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 24 / 54 Chris Rock (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 25 / 54 Mark Rylance (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 26 / 54 Mark Rylance thanks Steven Spielberg before accepting his Oscar for Best Actor in a Supporting Role (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 27 / 54 Patricia Arquette (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 28 / 54 Filmmakers Pato Escala Pierart and Gabriel Osorio Vargas (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 29 / 54 The Weeknd performs (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 30 / 54 The Weeknd performs (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 31 / 54 The Weeknd performs (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 32 / 54 Jonas Rivera and Pete Docter (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 33 / 54 Girl Scouts sell cookies with Chris Rock (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 34 / 54 David White, right, and Mark Mangini (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 35 / 54 Marcos Taylor as Suge Knight (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 36 / 54 Rachel McAdams and Michael B. Jordan (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 37 / 54 Emmanuel Lubezki (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 38 / 54 Priyanka Chopra, left, and Liev Schreiber (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 39 / 54 Margaret Sixel (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 40 / 54 Chris Evans, right, and Chadwick Boseman (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 41 / 54 Benecio del Toro and Jennifer Garner (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 42 / 54 Elka Warden, Lesley Vanderwalt and Damian Martin (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 43 / 54 Presenters Margot Robbie and Jared Leto (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 44 / 54 Colin Gibson and Lisa Thompson (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 45 / 54 Cate Blanchett (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 46 / 54 Tina Fey and Steve Carell (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 47 / 54 CaJenny Beavan (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 48 / 54 Alicia Vikander (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 49 / 54 Adam McKay, front, and Charles Randolph with their Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay. (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 50 / 54 Sam Smith (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 51 / 54 Sarah Silverman (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 52 / 54 “The Big Short,” the anarchic, bracing broadside against Wall Street malfeasance, won the adapted screenplay Oscar at tonight’s 88th Academy Awards. The script was written by Charles Randolph and Adam McKay, who also directed. (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 53 / 54 Emily Blunt and Charlize Theron (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times) 54 / 54 Chris Rock (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

Is Hollywood racist? You damn right Hollywood’s racist, but it ain’t the racist that you’ve grown accustomed to. Hollywood is sorority racist. It’s like: “We like you Rhonda, but you’re not a Kappa.” That’s how Hollywood is, but things are changing. Things are changing. Yeah, we’ve got a black “Rocky” this year. Some people call it “Creed.” I call it “Black Rocky.” And that’s an unbelievable statement, because “Rocky” takes place in a world where white athletes are as good as black athletes. “Rocky’s” a science fiction movie. There are things that happen in “Star Wars” that are more believable than things that happen in “Rocky.”


We are here to honor actors. We are here to honor film. It’s a lot of snubs, but one of the biggest snubs no one is talking about. My favorite actor in the world is Paul Giamatti.... Think about what Paul Giamatti has done in the last couple of years. Last year, he’s in “12 Years a Slave.” Hates black people. This year, he’s in “Straight Outta Compton.” Loves black people. Last year he’s whipping Lupita. This year he’s crying at Eazy E’s funeral. Not that’s range. Ben Affleck can’t do that.

What I’m trying to say is it’s not about boycotting or anything. It’s just we want opportunity. We want the black actors to get the same opportunities as white actors. That’s it. And not just once. Leo gets a great part every year. All these guys get great parts all the time. But what about the black actors? Look at Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx is one of the best actors in the world. Jamie Foxx was so good in “Ray,” that they went to the hospital and unplugged the real Ray Charles. It’s like, “We don’t need two of these.”

No, man. Everything’s not about race, man. Another big thing tonight is you’re not allowed to ask women what they’re wearing anymore. It’s a whole thing: “Ask her more.” You have to ask her more.” Well, you know, you ask the men more. Hey, everything’s not sexism. Everything’s not racism. They ask the men more because the men are all wearing the same outfits, OK? Every guy in here is wearing the exact same thing. If George Clooney showed up with a lime green tux on and a swan coming out his ..., someone would go, “What you wearing George?”

And welcome to the 88th Academy Awards…


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