Washington D.C.—

White supremacist Richard Spencer’s nonprofit organization, “White Semen Doomsday” has reportedly reached a milestone in collecting its 3,000th mason jar of backup semen, intended to be stockpiled in a snowy Alaskan vault built underground and preserved in case white people ever become, in the words of Mr. Spencer, “an endangered race.”

“We have to keep pure white breeds pure and white,” Spencer told The Halfway Post. “If America ever starts getting a little too brown, we can transfer deposits from my collection to get a little more pure white distilling in the gene pool. And in case whites ever become enslaved by minority sub-races, we can take refuge in Alaska, and, like the Jedi in a number of Star Wars films, secretly nurse our people back to racial and political dominance against the dark skinned Sith.”

Spencer says the milestone is bitter-sweet.

“It’s amazing how far we have come since it all began. The White Semen Doomsday project is my most proud accomplishment. It started in my basement, and in the beginning was just me and a couple white supremacist friends jerking off into a jar together for the good of white humanity’s future. We started out meeting once a week, but we just had so much fun contributing to this great cause that it became a daily ritual. The collection grew very slow at first, as we could not produce semen in substantial volumes ourselves, even when we were going at it sometimes four or five times a day and really just mashing our poor, raw penises at that point, so I realized we had to outsource. We started meeting up with a bunch of other white supremacists at random nature campouts we organized thanks to social media, and we gradually warmed them up to joining our crusade. We couldn’t make it seem homosexual, of course, or these bitter, white men might want to fight us, but a great ice-breaker was our mutual agreement that whites are the real oppressed people in this country no matter what kind of peer-reviewed, sociological statistics libtards want to scientifically measure and analyze. The idea really took off, and before long we had guys all over America sponsoring their own mason jar jerk-off events. Then our splinter groups would send me all the jars they collected. I quickly ran out of freezer space in my house, and I actually started having to rent out industrial-sized freezers in order to keep the pure white semen as fresh as possible. But, and I’m incredibly thankful, the white supremacy movement has really stepped up to the plate and helped finance this great project with generous financial donations. It’s just beautiful to see so many white dudes concerned about losing the majority in America. Doomsday could be just around the corner for our kind, and we white crusaders must be prepared to defend our country with copious, oceanic volumes of white semen in case the population of pure, white female wombs ever dwindles to just a few thousand or even hundred fertile, child-rearing women.”

Now that phase one of the White Semen Doomsday project is complete, phase two of actually building the Alaskan vault will begin. Meanwhile, the jerk-off events are continuing.

“It took a while, but we finally met our ambitious goal of 3,000 mason jars. It’s a beautiful sight to see one of our dozens of freezers filled with hundreds of jars stacked on crisp, icy metal shelves. Most are labeled by the cities and states they came from, but some participating white supremacy groups are big enough or masturbationally eager enough that individual streets or host homes can fill up jars real quick. It’s a relief, too, that the speed of deposit jars coming in to us has gone up so dramatically and efficiently after a big set-back we faced several months ago. We had a bit of a disaster early on. Our very first collection effort was tainted by a black guy who we discovered was contributing in one of the donation groups. Apparently they somehow didn’t get the memo that the project was for whites only. I have to do a lot of mixing and marrying of jars to make sure every one is totally filled to maximize our storage space in the freezers, so there was no way to tell which jars had been tainted and, unfortunately, I had to pour out every single one of them. We had about 450 mason jars filled at that point, but there was no choice but to start over from scratch. It was the only way to ensure total white purity. We can’t save the human race in a doomsday catastrophe if our white women start popping out mixed babies! I’ll tell you, though, pouring all those milky future white children down my kitchen drain was literally the most heartbreaking experience of my life. I still get choked up when I remember that tragic day. Some of the jars I’d just pour into my hand, and tears welled up in my eyes as all that exalted cum dripped between my fingers and pooled in the creases of my palm. I felt like I could almost hear them begging me to let them live, to impregnate some future blonde-haired, blue-eyed mother’s uterus to ensure the salvation of paleness… But it had to be done. Let me tell you, though, cleaning out all those jars was rough, rough work. And the cold slush of it all congealed in my dishwasher and pipes and really screwed things up. I can’t use my kitchen sink at all anymore.”

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(Picture courtesy of V@s.)

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