The Palmerin Club didnt released an Article for a long time , but we are finally back. For the Gwent Meta Scenario Shot me and Palmerin went on a month long adventure visiting several Scenarios in the Witcher World.

While Players are wasting there time leading bot armys or reaching Pro Rank ,

I gonna compare the Scenario Cards of Gwent and also rate there ” Scenario Points” .

I am Qupor and i once lost to a meta deck and manage to not complain on Reddit about it.

Ranking is based on my and Palmerins opinion.

( Importen Disclaimer : Our opinion is always right 🙂 )

Number 6: Feign Death

Feign Death is a very popular Sport in the Elv World . Being Dead mimics the state every Elv want to reach in his life. To be uselss and look cool while doing it. Every Year only the best “Feigner” can compete in the “Masters of Feign” Tournament . To enter you have to parcipate and win in countless feign matches . In the End only 8 of the best Feigners get elected through that method. Over the Years the same 8 Feigners end up in the Top 8 and alot of Elvs claim its only because they have ” No Life” Even Red Ditor the famous Elv Mage says : ” Its not fair that only elvs that invest 1000 of hours can play , everyone should have a chance to enter to showcase his hidden skill “. To please the annoying Red Ditor the Higher Elvs decided to open up this Tournament to everyone this year. And like Red Ditor expected something suprising happend!

The Winner of Place 587 ( from 600) was a Feigner that only trained once every two 2 Weeks .

Red Ditor finally found proof for his thesis , became famous , rich and won tousand of prices.

Scenario rating: 8/8 of the same Feigner from Last Year reached the last stage of the tournament.

Number 5: Haunt

In Ofier there is a little Town named Mers .Mers is kinda a weird little town. Everyone here is addicted to get “haunted”. From Old to Young everyone here loves a good old Nightmare .

Every Year Mers invites tons of intellegent Monsters so they can create spooky nightmares for them.

Sadly over the Years, the Quality of the Monsters work went down. Some of the Monsters became too greedy, delivered half-finished nightmares or tried to eat tons of kids because they might taste good .

A Year ago a new Monster entered the town dressed in a red coat. He always needed a long time to prepare his Nightmares, but they had an amazing Quality. Every new Nightmare became better and better. Every Mistake he ever did, was overshadowed by all the praise he received. Even while doing major mistakes, people overlooked it. I mean sure he did some bad mistakes, but in the end, he didn’t even try to eat tons of kids like other the Monsters. Mers finally found an Monster they can trust 🙂

Scenario rating: 1/1 small indie Monsters don’t try to eat tons of kids.

Number 4: Gedyneith

Every Year the Crow Mother celebrates the Gedyneith and a lot of People from all over Skellige come to watch it. The Tickets are always sold out because of the great Show the Crow Mother delivers. Some years ago she needed a new Act after ” the Moshpit with resurrected Nilfgardians ” was viewed as morally wrong from the new Warchief Cerys. The Crowmother invited several young Druids to showcase there summoning skills as a show act. The Druids let their summonings fight each other to make the show even more exciting. They summoned ravens, insects, deadeye elves or even rats. The Audience loved these battles, but after some time People started to question if these fights were balanced. How is an insect suppose to beat an Elv in combat? How can a rat deal so much unconditional dmg and when will the Crow Mother reintroduce the summoning of Nilfgardian Spys into the show. The Viewers started to spend more time arguing than actually watching the show.

Most of the Arguments from the viewers looked like this:

“How can my own opinion be wrong if I saw the insect once lose to the Elv?”

The Crowmother was overwhelmed by everything and decided for the good of Gedyneith to cancel the show. But don’t worry in 6 months a reworked much better version of the show gonna come back to Gedyneith. And this time everything gonna deal tons of unconditional dmg.

Scenario rating : 0/0 Nilfgardian Spys summonings returned in the new show.

Number 3: Siege

In Nothern Realms every young Boy or Girl has to pass several exams to become an real adult.

The Final Exam requires to carry out an successful Siege. As long the City/Town fell the exam was counted as passed. Just simply sieging a city is viewed as boring. Today for the sake of entertainment everyone expects from you to Siege with style and alot of creativity. Never reuse an old tactic, always come up with something new and crazy. Strap a siege engine on the back of a gigiantic wolf and catapult them over a wall , while summoning a demon equipped with a shovels? Good! Only the creativity counts ! These strategies aren’t always working out , but as long one Siege was actually successful the fresh adult earned a lot of Fame. There was only one infamous Boy named

Ne. T. from Dec Town. Instead of using creative and fun strategies he only copied normal ones that already worked out for someone else. He only needed one Siege to become an adult and didn’t even stop Sieging after his passed exam. He never lost a Siege and became filthy rich in a short time.

Ne T. from Deckstown got a lot of hate from the other Nothern Realmers and became one of the saddest Emporers and Conquers of all Time. Crying next to his 24 Golden Whirlpools he knew he never could reach the creativity of the other Generals.

What a Sad Life 😦

Scenario Rating : 1/1 Sad Life Press F.

Number 2: Passiflora

The Passiflora is today one of the most successful Adult Entertainment Houses in Novigrad.

The Passiflora wasn’t always that successful. To become one of the biggest they first did something very special. Not only was the Entrance to the Passiflora for free, but it also didn’t cost a fortune to go there hire a “Worker”. To be honest it was enough to just stand around in the Passiflora and suddenly you already hired every “Worker” they offered. While other Houses like The Blizzard or The Coast slowly made their costumers poorer every time they visit, the Passiflora gave nearly everything for free. In a Short time through this tactic, the passiflora got a giant and loyal following. After some Time the Passiflora realized that they need some money to hire new ” Workers” Most of the costumers pay with praise and insult against the greedy monetization of the other Houses. Sadly these aren’t considered as Currency in Novigrad.

Every time the Passiflora tried to change something in their System the passiflora got bombarded with negative critic. After Years and Years of trying they gave up making any money. So never forget!

I said the Passiflora is one of the most successful Houses, not the richest

Scenario Rating : 9/9 hoarded Florens in the pocket of the costumers.

Number 1: Masquerade Ball

The Masquerade Ball happens every few Month where the Nilfgardian Elite meet up. No one really went to the Masquerade Ball to dance . No ! They used the Ball to discuss the newest Siege Strategys , News or Gossip. Before the Ball begins the Bot Division travels through the Country collecting these Informations. The Divison got his name from his Elite Leader Ev. aepIl Bot.

One of the most popular activitys is to Rank the newest Siege Strategys from Nothern Realms according to its effectivness. Generals accross the World await for the open Rankings so they can use these new information to improve there War Skills. The Masquerade Ball is consindered to be the most expensiv evens Nilfgard celebrates. Over hunderts of millions Florens get invisted into provisions to feed all workers and the Soldiers defending it. And it took only one Bandit throwing a bomb to destroy the whole giant ball building , what leads into its cancellation this year.

Palmerin got asked to investigate the incident and to find the culprit. After a lot of Research

( 2 Minutes ) Palmerin of course found the Culprit. It was a Lone General from England that hired the bandit throwing the bomb. Palmerin asked him why he did that and his answer was:

“It is unfair that the Elite got all the informations for themself and i dont care if they sometimes share it with us . So Mister Palmerin what else should a Lone general like me do if I want to be successful in the war??”.

Palmerin looked at him with all his might and beauty, elegance, his bald head and the countless medals of honor shining in the light of the burning masquerade house and he answered him with his crystal clear, seductive, manly, but soft voice:

𝔅𝔯𝔬 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔲𝔰?

Scenario Rating: 100/100 Lone Generals now even have more problems gathering the right informations, because they aren’t part of a bigger General Teams that got more resources to collect intern data and can’t even access the data these teams openly shared with them , because the ball got destroyed.

Thank you for reading my Gwent Meta Scenario Shot . Till the next time ❤