The only diet anybody should ever indulge in is one that focuses on buffalo wings, red meat and beer.

I hear lots about dieting all the time. I’m a young guy, and people my age always seem fairly concerned about what they eat.

I also get concerned. It’s extremely concerning to me when I get home and there’s no red meat, buffalo wings or beer available for me to consume. I have eaten red meat or chicken wings every day since April. I’ve also managed to sprinkle in a few beers along the way. There are numerous witnesses out there to validate my accomplishment.

It’s honestly horrifying to me when I hear people say things about how they don’t eat meat, can only eat certain things or are dieting against everything that’s delicious. That’s not what America is about. That’s not the spirit that beat the Japanese.

Do you think ISIS is hammering beers and buffalo wings in between air strikes from the United States Air Force? Of course not. That’s the difference between the civilized world and the savages we obliterate on a regular basis.

America is built on winning. We literally had to win a war so that the greatest nation on this planet could be born. We don’t tolerate losers, and you become a loser the moment you get hooked on some fad diet.

You’re a winner the moment everybody starts dieting, and your response to that is to fire up the grill while grabbing a beer. Choosing tofu over a burger is pretty much the same as choosing communism over freedom. We just can’t let it happen.

I’ve been on this diet for months, and I don’t care if it ultimately kills me because that’s what freedom is all about. God bless beer, wings, red meat and this beautiful country.

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