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Office Christmas party disasters, Asterios defends his $600 invoice, email auto-responders, the Pope embarrasses himself again, Star Wars is not Star Wars, Net Nuetrality [sic], Cracked calls me the face of “conservative comedy”, Jamie’s outsourced news segment, Jesus, Lost Legos, many bing bong remixes, $5 oil fights, new Christmas traditions, and the Race War; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Season’s Greetings DickHeads, ChickHeads, and 20 Million Dollar Men! December is upon us and that means curling up with a glass of egg nog and rum and watching your XBox install updates with your friends and family. It also means Santa Claus is about to punch a hole in the bottom of your bank account and fuck the shit out of it. In this episode, I propose a radical new way to financially plan for the holidays: a series of nightly, greased-up, oil fights with your wife or girlfriend. Hell, bring your kids into it. If the family is pulling $1,500 holly, jolly dollars out of your bank account to celebrate the fact that it was in there in the first place, then by God make the bastards work for it, but first…

Asterios calls in to defend his $600 invoice, and like most good defenses it is entirely an offense. Asterios throws Diego, Sean, and The Apollo Theater under the bus and also describes what are a “business zones”. Here is Asterios’ Invoice, a digital art installation I call, “Ecce Homo Ridiculum”.

Next, grab your tiki torches, iron some pleats into your most supremacist khakis, and prepare to drop some of Dustin’s deadliest memes, because the Cucks over at the Cracked podcast have declared me the face of conservative comedy–whatever that means. Look, I’m as conservative as the next pro-gay rights, welfare-preferred, drug-addicted atheist, but I take offense to the label because it is an insult to the listeners, who fall decidedly on the “we’re sick of hearing about this shit, get back to jokes” quadrant of the Political Compass. The Dick talk starts at 32:50.



Myroom Records blows up the cuckcore scene with “TDS Madness”.



“Dick the Shogun” by (((Maxwell Kimball))).



Larry Bleidner of ThatLarryShow.com sends in “Scandal Claus is Coming to Town”.



Aksel from Sweden sends in a black metal bing bong remix.



A closing theme remix “Fucking Fuckups (Nothing Ever Works)” by Therm0ptic.



And thumbnail that died for our sins by Clay Burton.



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