From shoulder-robing to carrying a man clutch, fashion types know it’s not what you wear but how you wear it that counts. But do menswear street style tropes translate to real life?

According to the Guardian’s fashion desk, I could become instantly more fashionable without adjusting my wardrobe, or spending any money. It’s not even about what I’m wearing – it’s about the way I style my clothes. The trick, apparently, is to take my cues from the sort of men who get photographed outside fashion shows. These men - I’ve seen pictures of them - have developed a secret uniform of styling eccentricities: they wear their coats like capes, and go through life sockless. So, here I attempt the top five street-style trends for men this season. All clothes and accessories are, for better or worse, the model’s own.

1. Shoulder-robing

Facebook Twitter Pinterest A real-life street-style star during New York fashion week. Photograph: Timur Emek/Getty Images

Putting your coat over your shoulders like a cape isn’t new, but no one used to call it shoulder-robing. The only thing new about it is that apparently it’s no longer stupid.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Tim Dowling tries to nail the shoulder robing look. Photograph: Linda Nylind for the Guardian

The best thing I can say about shoulder-robing is that size is not an issue, because you are not actually wearing the coat in question. However, as a result, it’s a highly unstable arrangement; when I shoulder-robed my way down to the shops, my coat blew away. Anyway, I think I lack the insouciance required to carry this look off; it looks as if I have broken one of my arms. People hold doors open for you, but that’s about the only benefit I can see.



2. Complex scarf drapery

Facebook Twitter Pinterest A street-style star at Paris men’s fashion week: never knowingly underscarved. Photograph: BFA/Rex/Shutterstock

At first, I couldn’t find anything generous enough to replicate this look – you can’t do it with an old QPR scarf – so I ended up using a big pashmina I found in a cupboard. I also struggled to get the right casual draping; I think you want it to look as if the scarf fell out of a tree and landed on you. I ended up somewhere between shawl and bib.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Tim Dowling attempts the complex scarf look. Photograph: Linda Nylind for the Guardian

3. The man clutch

Facebook Twitter Pinterest A street-style star during Milan men’s fashion week, clutch in hand. Photograph: Melodie Jeng/Getty Images

The problem is obvious from the name: I don’t want to have to walk around clutching something all day. I want both hands free – that’s why I have pockets. If my pockets fill up, I have also got a rucksack. I suppose I could keep my clutch bag in there.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Tim Dowling does the man clutch. Photograph: Linda Nylind for the Guardian

4. Sunglasses in winter

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Tim Dowling wearing dark glasses – in winter. Photograph: Linda Nylind for the Guardian

You see a lot of men outside fashion shows wearing sunglasses and looking at their phones. When I wear sunglasses in winter, I can’t even see my phone. Are there special lenses for this?

5. Naked mankles

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Oliver Cheshire, second from left, shows how to do the naked mankle at London Collections Men. Photograph: Tristan Fewings/Getty Images

I understand that wearing brogues without socks is trendy – even, it seems, in winter – but to me it looks wrong and feels worse. I think you are meant to put on little socklets first, but I don’t own any, so I went commando. The trend seems to be to combine this look with rolled trousers, in order to show off as much ankle as possible. Perhaps there’s a general feeling that men’s ankles get better as they go up. Mine are a ghostly white, and still bear indentations from the socks I was wearing all morning. There’s no way I’m going outside like this in February. People will think I don’t own any socks.