Author's Note: This is part one of my smutty little romantic comedy series that I've written as a sort of spiritual successor to Steamrolled's amazing "Girfriend With..." comics. I've got a bunch of these up my sleeve, so look forward to more in the weeks ahead!



I hope you'll enjoy this little story, and if you do, please rate and comment! Good or bad, I love hearing from you guys! Thanks for reading!





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This story is rated R and features a healthy dose of Slutty Cheerleaders and Football Players, Body Part Swaps, Genderbending, Voluntary Sexual Re-orientation, Reality Alteration, Reality Blindness and Obliviousness, Big Jiggly Boobs, Slutty Clothing, and Romance. And probably some other stuff? It's a little weird and crazy. You've been warned.





== Girlfriend with Testing Device ==



- A Smutty Fanfiction, of Sorts -



= Part 1 - Reality Blind Boyfriend =



=- By Razmagurk -=

The bar was surprisingly busy for a Thursday night. I walked in to see what had to be half the college football team cheering and hollering as a handful of their number did body shots off a pack of cheerleaders. Definitely some kind of team building exercise. It was a fair bit wilder than I was expecting to see, but they seemed to be buying lots of drinks, so I guess it wasn't a problem.I almost did a double take as one of the cheerleader's tops came off entirely, her rock-hard pecs and 8-pack abs exposed for all the see. Another cheer went up from the crowd as the team drank the image in. Judging by the sizable bulge in her pants, she was enjoying the attention. I suspected it may not have been as accidental as she was trying to make it look. This is why I don't normally go to the bars near campus. Too many big-titted Chads and hard-bodied Stacies desperate to squander their youth horny and wasted."Evan!" I heard a voice yell.I pulled my head away from the party to scan the crowd, looking for the reason I was here. Besides the drunken orgy waiting to happen, it was the kind of crowd you'd expect to see in a college bar on a Thursday night, a lot of 20-somethings looking for a memorable evening. There were only really two people who didn't quite belong -- a scrawny professor in a heavy metal shirt and tats, who was probably only here to desperately try to seem young and hip, and a freshman in the other corner adjusting his suede jacket and trying very hard to seem the opposite."Evan!" I heard the voice again. This time she was waving.Off in the back, away from the crowd, was my girlfriend Ellen. Ellen and I had been dating for a few years now and had plans to get engaged after graduation. I couldn't begin to properly express my love for her. We were both about as close as two people could be and still very much in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. She had called me up rather suddenly about half an hour ago and told me to meet her here. She said she had something to show me that she claimed I literally had to see in person to believe.She was sitting at a table in one of the back corners, away from the crowds, nursing what looked like it was not her first beer. She didn't have any classes on tomorrow or anything, but it was still unusual for her to drink a lot on a Thursday. From the way she was glancing around I could tell that she was self conscious about something.I smiled at her and started to walk over. "There's something different about you." I said. She normally only got unsure about herself like this when she was trying out a new look. I couldn't tell quite what it was, but I wanted to be supportive."Wait, what?" she stammered back as her eyes went wide. Uh-oh, maybe its something that I'm not supposed to notice. Ironic. If that was the case it was succeeding."Its true," I said, "You get more beautiful every time I see you." I figured this was a safe enough answer. I'm one of those hopeless romantic types, so I like to really lay it on thick. It's one of my few charms."Wait... are you... Can you actually tell there's something different about me, or are you just being cute? How specifically am I more beautiful?"Crap, I'd dug myself into a trap. The truth of the matter is that Ellen was objectively quite plain. She wasn't unattractive, she just lacked those features that make a girl stand out. She's the sort of person who's always wanted to look good, but just had higher priorities, or who was more cute than beautiful. Of course, she was perfect in my eyes, but that was little comfort to her.I quickly eyed her up to see if she'd done anything differently, but she looks pretty normal to me. Her strawberry blonde hair fell to the mid of her back in long languid waves, perfectly framing the glowing skin of her cover-girl face and the precisely applied sultriness of her evening makeup. Her top was a button-down made of some semi-sheer material, knotted up underneath to compliment her hourglass figure, tight belly, and enormous tits. My eyes lingered on her bosom as I made my appraisal of her. They were inconveniently large and she had enough of her buttons undone to show off a prodigious amount of flesh. If she was wearing a bra, which I doubted, it was a miracle of modern engineering. She probably had more going on up top than anyone else in the bar right now, but that was perfectly normal.I couldn't see under the table. Was she wearing new shoes? I hazarded a glance. No, I recognized both the 6-inch black fuck-me boots arcing up her long and shapely legs and the pleated tartan micro-skirt. I could see that she wasn't wearing panties, but that wasn't unusual for her. The scent of cherries, booze, and sex wafting across the table told me she wasn't even wearing new perfume.I honestly couldn't tell what she was doing differently. Was she wearing new glasses? No, she didn't wear glasses. Why would I think that? I looked deeply into her dark hazel eyes, but she wouldn't meet my gaze."Your eyes." I said."W-What?""They're glowing." I smiled "But then, so is the rest of you."She laughed in that way I loved, and, having confirmed that I was indeed full of shit, she relaxed back in her seat."Wrong, cheeseball. But thanks.""Okay, I give up." I also leaned back in my seat. "You changed something though, right?""That's..." she paused and chewed on her words, unsure quite how to answer. "That's kind of a big question right now.""How do you mean?"She reached into her little designer handbag and slowly, almost reverently, pulled out a strange bluish-green device. It was roughly box-shaped with a number of little controls on each face and a little antenna sticking out the top."Today, I was given this."She set the box on the table as though its presence explained everything."And it is?" I prompted."See, that's the part you're not going to believe."She inhaled deeply before continuing, trying to choose her words with the utmost care. It was clear she didn't quite believe it herself."It swaps things." She said, simply."It swamps things?""It swaps things."She could tell by my expression that this was going over my head."Look." She said, gesturing over to the college party currently underway in the background, as if by way of example. As I looked over, several of the football players were competing to see who could chug a beer the fastest. Most of it was spilling down their chins and soaking through their tight little shirts, which had begun to cling diaphanously to their bouncing tits."It swaps things how?" I pressed."Like, magic."I blinked incredulously."In so far as I've been able to tell, it swaps people's body parts around. Other stuff too, I think. I'm still experimenting with it, so I don't know how far it goes. Then it makes it so that only the person holding it realizes anything has changed. I'm guessing that's probably why you don't see anything out of place right now. Let's just say I've been having some fun with it."I laughed."I'm serious!" she quavered. "Look, this is something important. Getting this device is... it's a complete life-changer! And you're an important part of my life and I want to share it with you."She was right, I didn't believe her. I didn't know what she was up to, but I could tell that whatever it was, it meant something to her. I decided to play along."Okay," I said slowly, "so, someone just gave you a magic box that lets you change people around?""Swap people around, yes. Kind of. They said they were from some kind of company and that they were alpha-testing a new technology. They said I'd been picked from a long list of potential candidates and that they needed to test how the system handled in the wild. I guess they want to make sure it won't snap under the load of typical use or something? Or that it works at all? I don't know. They made me sign some forms that I'm starting to wish I'd read...""I thought you said it was magic?""No, I said its like magic. Look, haven't you ever wanted to change who you are? To change something about your body? To make yourself better?""I'm actually pretty happy with who I am, baby. And so should you. You're perfect.""Yeah," she said, glancing down, "now I am.""Huh?""Never mind." She said, shaking her head. "Look, there must be something about yourself that you want to change. Don't you guys all dream about having the biggest baddest dick around, or whatever?""Whoa, hey, What's wrong with my cock?" I laughed defensively. Sure, my cock wasn't giant, but it was enough above average that I was actually rather pleased with it."Nothing! Baby, believe me I love your dick too, but come on, aren't you curious how you'd look with something even bigger?"I had no idea where she was going with this, but we were close enough that I wasn't offended. Frankly, I've always suspected she was a bit of a size queen, even if she would never admit it to herself. I was starting to half suspect this was some kind of weird sex game. I'm not one to turn down sex when offered, even the weird stuff, so I figured it would be best to play along."Okay, fine." I said, looking around. "What did you have in mind?""Well I'd overheard Elizabeth saying that the bartender over there just so happens to be hung like a horse."She gestured with her eyes and I turned my head to follow. The bartender was a handsome looking man in his early thirties. He had a rugged, athletic build and it came as no surprise that Ellen's friend Elizabeth had set her sights on him. Hell, he probably got hit on by half the girls to pass through here. I tried to sneak a glance at his pants, but before I could get a good view he turned around and left for the back room."Alright." I said. "When the bartender comes back out, you can swap our junk.""Deal." she laughed. Whatever game was afoot, she was glad I was playing.I looked at the strange device in her hands. It was a bluish-green metal box, about a handsbreath on the side and made of a cheaply spray-painted aluminum. Along one face was a series of small colored buttons surrounding a large black button, on another side was a pair of simple radio dials, and on the top was a small antenna with a wire coiled around it. It looked kind of like someone had tried to cobble together a remote control having never seen one before and having none of the correct parts. I half wanted to reach out and touch it, but it kind of looked like it would shock me if I did.Ellen's sudden laughter snapped me back to attention.As it turned out, the bartender who emerged was a very different one than the one who had gone in. This one, for starters, was decidedly female, and between the amount of cleavage she was putting on display and the oh-so-short shortness of her tight little short-shorts, it was apparent she was dressed for tips. She must have realized that the presence of the cheerleaders was going to make her job difficult, and decided to get out the big guns, so to speak."Okay, that doesn't count" I said jokingly."What," Ellen laughed as she started to play with one of the box's dials, "you don't wonder what it would be like to swap junk with that little cutie?"Dramatically, she pressed the big button. I half expected the world to lurch or the thing to explode or something, but all I noticed was a faint zzzzttttt sound in the back of my head. Half disappointed, half relieved, I turned my attention to the bartender once more and gave her junk an appraising look."Oh, god, could you imagine?" I laughed as I stared at the giant bulge in the girls little orange shorts. "Me with a giant dick like that?"A look of confusion washed over Ellen's face, followed shortly by a scowl of annoyance. She began to twist the dials on the box in frustration. Evidently, she had been expecting something to happen."I mean, don't get me wrong," I continued. "I'm not sexist or anything. There's nothing wrong with having a dick - Hell, a big sexy one like that, I'm sure she gets all kinds of tips, especially with the way she really puts it on display - but me having a cock? I'd probably end up tripping over it or sitting on it half the time. I don't know how people deal with them." I jokingly grabbed my crotch for emphasis. "I'll take my smooth little puss any day."At this Ellen was trying very hard not to laugh. One of the things that I really loved about Ellen was that I could call another girl's dick sexy in front of her without her getting mad. She knew - through extensive personal experience - that I only had eyes for her and that I was merely speaking objectively."Besides," I went on. "You're not a lesbian. If I had her dick, sex would get real awkward between the two of us. I mean, it would keep getting in the way of the strap-on, for one. I guess you could still fuck me up the ass with it, but we both know I'm not ready for that."What remained of Ellen's composure broke, sending her into a laughing fit.I smiled while she laughed it out. I didn't really think it was as funny as all that, but I was happy to have made her happy."Sorry that's... actually really interesting, but back up a minute. So, you're saying," she said as she recovered, "that you think her dick is sexy?""I'm just saying that its an attractive feature. With a huge dick like that, she probably gets all the hot guys.""But not you?" she said, raising an eyebrow flirtatiouslyHolding the little box up to her she once again dramatically pressed the big button. Once again there was nothing more climactic than that faint, almost imperceptible zzzzttttt sound. Was that even coming from the box?"No, baby," I answered, paying her theatrics no mind. "I'm all yours. Besides, her pussy could never compete with your dick." It was true, as plain as Ellen was, she was surprisingly wild in bed, and I knew from experience that her dick was perfect in every way -- truly out of this world.As I said this Ellen began squirming in her seat."Oh!" she exclaimed. "Oh, this is... different.""What is?""Um, its nothing. Never mind, I guess." She was clearly quite distracted. "I just suddenly wish I was wearing panties.""Oh?"I laughed "Is all this sexy talk starting to get my girl all worked up?" I leaned in and flashed her one of my flirtatious smiles. Truth be told, I was starting to get a little wet myself."N-no. Its just... distracting.""What is?" I said, inching closer."Th-This stupid dick" she said blushing"Baby, I think your cock is amazing. If you think its distracting now, just think of all the fun things I'm going to do with it when we get home." I said, teasingly.Her blush grew three shades as she ran the mental numbers. She shook her head, but clearly failed to clear the fog."Gah, this is so frustrating." she said, quickly trying to change the subject. "What's the point of having this device if I can't share it with you?""You can share anything with me, you know that. " I said, taking her hand into my own."No, I clearly can't." She sighed. "You were supposed to realize what was happening there. I thought you'd find it funny, and instead you seem to be enjoying it a little too much.""Enjoying what?""Hold on, wait... maybe you have to be touching it?"Delicately, she slid the device into the center of the table and beckoned for me to touch it. Slowly, as though I was afraid it was going to bite, I put my hands over hers and onto the device. It was warm to the touch, but I couldn't tell if that was because it was producing its own heat or because Ellen had been handling it."Is something supposed to happen?"She locked her big brown eyes on me and stared deeply into my soul."Okay -- for real." she said "if you could swap bodies with anyone else here, who would it be?""Honestly baby, I'm actually pretty happy with my body. Its not amazing or anything, but I don't hate it.""Yeah, but if you could make it amazing?"The truth was, I was hardly a catch. I tried to exercise when I could and I did my best to make myself look presentable, but much like Ellen I lacked the features that made me stand apart from the crowd. I wasn't so muscular as to be muscular, nor so skinny as to be skinny, I was just kind of average. Maybe this was all her way of trying to get me to exercise more?"I guess it would be kind of cool to have a more athletic body." I confessed "Maybe like one of those football guys? I mean, it would be nice to be sexier for you, you know?""Aww... baby, that's so sweet." I could see the genuity of her smile. "You're plenty sexy to me. But my baby deserves the best body he can get and that's what I'm going to give him. I just hope this works and that you realize what's happening."Again she fiddled with the nobs, this time aiming the box in the direction of the party still raging in the background. She made sure that we were both clutching the device, and then she pressed the button.This time I could feel the zzzzttttt in my teeth and then... I would describe it as being like falling backwards into water, or going up a high-speed elevator and feeling the sudden change in pressure, but both of those analogies fail to capture how sudden the change was. One moment I was myself, and the next I wasn't.I could tell immediately that something was different. I was cold, for starters, a chill was running through my whole body -- my new body. I could tell that everything was different in a million subtle little ways. I had new nerves, new body chemistry, new organs, bigger lungs, a new heartbeat, and they all felt strange and unusual. Familiar, sure, but unusual. Clearly, it was going to take some getting used to.I exhaled. I hadn't even realized I was holding my breath.I looked down at my new body and couldn't help but laugh. It was a heartier laugh, deeper, from different, stronger lungs. I wasn't wearing a shirt -- which explained why I was so cold -- and I could see every inch of my new body bristling with dense muscles. My chest was smooth and hairless, prom my enormous pecs to my rock-hard abs. I flexed my arms and could feel the strength and power contained within. Was this what it was like to be in shape? Every breath I took felt confident and powerful, like I was a wellspring of energy just waiting to pounce.I was completely shocked. My brain refused to process what was happening as real. It wasn't until the competing smells of locker room body-spray and cheep booze assaulted my nose that I realized this was not a trick of the light or temporary hallucination. Worse, I could feel the unfamiliar body chemistry seeping its way into my brain. This new body was half-wasted and very horny. I wiggled awkwardly in my chair as I suddenly realized that I had something very large and very eager fighting for space in my pants.