The Labour MP, 64, talks about running the country as a civil servant, surviving racism at grammar school and staying away from Twitter

I’ve always wanted a place at the table. My earliest memory is being put in my high chair while my parents were eating. I was there thinking: “Why am I not sitting with them?”

I don’t know when I first experienced racism. At primary school I was famous for my essays, and I’d read to the point of obsession. In my first week at grammar school a teacher accused me of cheating. She was certain this little black girl couldn’t have written my essay, but back then I didn’t realise what was happening.

When Nelson Mandela was released I met him and found myself in awe

The best years of my young life were spent singing Free Nelson Mandela, picketing the South African embassy and going on marches. When he was finally released I met him and found myself in awe, starstruck.

I’ve never experienced imposter syndrome. I have Newnham College, Cambridge to thank for that. I was taught I could go anywhere, be with anyone, and I would be as good as them.

The best advice I ever received was to join the civil service. There, I learned the importance of office politics, because in the civil service if you’re good at office politics you get to run the country.

What you wear matters whether it’s a suit or a frilly smock and beads. I remember what I was wearing at every important moment in my life. Politics is a people game, and if you’re hoping to influence people how you look counts.

I hardly go on Twitter any more. I don’t open letters I’m sent, either. My staff, however, have to do both. I’d never spoken about the racist abuse I face, but just before the election they staged an intervention. They said I had to speak out. It’s a shame really, I used to enjoy Twitter.

The abuse and the attacks have never made me falter, although at times I have been frightened. The turning point for me was the murder of Jo Cox. Up until then I’d always said it would never happen. I suddenly realised it could.

I’m not often bothered by getting older. I’m surrounded by people who are young, and I’m constantly learning in a job which I love. Occasionally, though, I’ll see somebody who is my age, and I think: “Oh my God, do I look like that?”

Diabetes hasn’t really changed my life. Well, not as much as it should have. Until I was diagnosed I’d often miss meals, I was careless about my health and nutrition. I try to be more conscious now.

Accusations of antisemitism in the party were painful, but this leadership and our members are committed to fighting it. I know what it’s like to face prejudice and hatred, to be discriminated against. There’s no space for them in our party.

I’ll forever be grateful to the people of Hackney. During last year’s election campaign I faced an unprecedented amount of abuse, but people in the constituency were so supportive, and then they voted me in with my biggest-ever majority. I was honoured.

I feel incredibly proud of Jeremy [Corbyn]. He didn’t set out in politics wanting to be leader of the Labour Party; he wanted to be a voice for the voiceless, to campaign for international justice. It is a huge responsibility to be the first left leader of the party since 1945.

Jess Phillips MP never told me to fuck off. What was extraordinary is that she made a big deal about telling people she had. Nobody ever checked back with me. If they had I’d have said no, she didn’t.

I sometimes wish I’d been a better mother. If you’re an MP and a single parent, there’s a constant tension.

My greatest regret is not learning to play the piano. I don’t want to be an MP for ever, so one day I’ll do my grades. I want to write novels, too, to go back to that little girl consumed by her stories.