Totally Toledo!

Mary Kate and Ashley want to go to Paris on Spring Break, but after their parents’ craft brewery fails, money is tight. Instead, they hop on a 13 hour Amtrak to visit their grandparents in suburban Toledo. They tour the Museum of the Great Lakes, the Rutherford B. Hayes Presidential Center, and Blair Museum of Lithopanes from the back seat of their grandmother’s Lincoln Continental. They meet two cute boys while helping their grandfather find the lowest priced sweet potatoes at the farmer’s market. The boys offer to take them on an after-dark tour of the Toledo Zoo where they are unpaid interns. Their grandparents call their parents and ask if it’s okay if the girls go on the date. Ultimately, their parents decide it’s too dangerous. They all play a game of pinochle before turning in early.

Nome-ward Bound

MK and A’s parents decide to start an Alaskan food-themed food truck, after examining the already saturated food truck market for an available cusine. For research, and to boost their travel instagram presence (the parents’ side hustle) they plan a family trip to Nome. While mucking dog pens, Mary Kate and Ashley overhear a clandestine meeting between two Iditarod race officials admitting that the race is rigged. But nobody will listen to the girls, who barely have 200 followers on Instagram. Two cute boys offer to take them on a midnight toboggan ride, but after checking a lunar cycle chart, the girls realize the new moon will make it too dark for selfies and decline. Due to global warming, none of the photos anyone takes contain snow rendering them useless on social media. Everyone goes home angry.

Exclusively Epcot

The girls’ parents take them to Disneyland, but after another mother at their school makes a snide comment in the carpool line about commercialism, they only buy tickets to visit Epcot. They meet two cute boys who work in Sweden, but soon realize they mostly only want to explain the plot of “Games of Thrones” to them. Mary Kate loses her phone over the side of the boat in It’s a Small World and wanting to teach their children about responsibility, the family spend several hours waiting at guest services for it to be retrieved. They visit every country in Epcot in an afternoon. Mary Kate doesn’t get to Snapchat any of it. They still have two days left.

Home Depot Here We Come

MK and A’s parents decide to build a tiny house instead of taking a family vacation because they can use the money they’ll get from renting it on Airbnb. A trip to Home Depot turns into an adventure when MK and A lose track of their dad and have to find their way through the aisles trying to spot him. They meet two cute boys who offer to show them the sights. The girls giddily accept. They turn out to be just very helpful employees. The girls cruise through the aisles racing over-sized carts in fun hardware shopping montage they plan on uploading to their YouTube channel until a manager asks them to stop unless they are using the footage as branded content or they have 500,000 followers or more. Their mother demands the manager apologize. Their dad was in the flooring section the whole time. The tiny house is destroyed by a wildfire.

France, Finally!

After their mother finally hits it big when a post on her mommy blog about freezing an entire year’s worth of school lunches at a time, MK and A’s parents take them to Paris for an all-out family vacation. Together the family wanders through the back streets of Paris, updating their Instagram stories. While the whole family is spending 45 minutes trying to photograph a crusty baguette leaned against a foamy cappuccino, the bakery owner’s cute sons offer to take MK and A to the kitchen for a free cooking lesson but nobody in the family can hear them over their four separate true crime podcasts. They consider going on a whirlwind tour of the city by bus, boat, and bicycle, but decide they are exhausted and to head back to their hotel room for some self-care. When they discover French Netflix does not yet have “Stranger Things,” they fly home.