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Native Americans are celebrating today following Republican leadership hopeful Donald Trump’s assurances that should he become President then all immigrants and descendants of immigrants including himself will be sent back to their own countries.

Mr Trump, full name Donald Trumpety-Trump said “Who do you trust to kick out all immigrants including myself. Trump! And you can rely on me to be the one to stand up to myself and say no way Trump I’m not going anywhere. And that’s why I’ve got to leave. And I’m the one to make me do it.”

“I’m not racist but piss off and take your guns with you.” one Native American told us.

Trump’s mass repatriation for all descendants of the Founding Fathers and everyone who has arrived on American soil since may prove to be challenging, as it will will involve the mass migration of over 300 million people. Heads of European states have pledged to take 20 or 30 people each as long as they’re not too noisy, whilst the UK has been criticised for only offering to take 2.

British Prime Minister David Cameron defended this saying “We can’t take them en-masse because we’re still jolly cross about the Boston tea party. Obviously we have to be seen to help but we’d like to keep the numbers down to single figures. We were originally going to take 4 or 5 but they’re quite lardy some of them, and we don’t have that much space. This isn’t Texas. So we’ll have two and that’s your lot.”

“Anyway their cars wouldn’t fit on our roads” He added.