What's that smell, son? Oh, I was protesting today.

RightWingWatch has posted some video of Colorado Pastor, and pretty intensely homophobic ranter, Kevin Swanson, going batshit insane about The Gays. First things first—kids are rebelling against God, y’all:

Parents, and this is not a funny thing, there are families, we’re talking Christian families, Pastor’s families, Elder’s families—in good godly churches—whose sons are rebelling, hanging out with homosexuals and getting married. And the parents are invited. What would you do if that was the case?

Holy shit, guys. I rebelled against my parents when I was young, but luckily the homosexuals I hung out with didn’t get me gay married. But what would you do???? Your son, from a good godly church, is getting gay married? Kevin Swanson’s got an answer:

Here’s what I would do: sackcloth and ashes at the entrance to the church. And I’d sit, in cow manure. And I’d spread it all over my body. That’s what I would do.

Sackcloth and ashes, to the uninitiated, is a reference to super old-timey, Hebrew Bible repentance. You put on sackcloth, sit on ashes, cover yourself in ashes. This of course begs the question, is Pastor Swanson’s idea of repentance to cover himself in ashes and bovine shit or does he think the modern version of sackcloth and ashes is shit? It is tough to say because Kevin Swanson is not joking, y’all:

I’m not kidding. I’m not laughing. I’m grieving. I’m mourning. I’m pointing out the problem.

That’s good because it wasn’t a particularly good joke. He proceeds to analogize the gay marriage issue to people carving (very clearly with a large knife the way he performs it) “happy faces onto open puss-y sores.” Um, gross, Kevin. You kiss your God’s Bible with that mouth? There are other clips from this appearance with Pastor Swanson saying things like the Harry Potter books are a homosexual something or other, and his musings on how gays have to repent before they receive the Bible’s death penalty for being gay.

You can watch Kevin Swanson speaking at the wildly inappropriately named National Religious Liberties Conference below the fold.