Scott Craven

The Republic | azcentral.com

Like many visitors to Florida, I was unfamiliar with all territory not occupied by Orlando International Airport, Walt Disney World and the highway between the two.

But based on books, movies and pop culture in general, I held three Floridian truths:

• Much of the state’s frolicking occurs on the beaches.

• Gators often wind up on golf courses.

• The Keys are an idyllic string of islands connected by one of America’s most scenic roadways.

Having returned from my first journey to Miami and points south, I saw nothing that dispelled the first two notions.

But my tropical images of the Keys were shattered during a two-day journey to Key West and back.

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For those with similar preconceived notions, here are 10 Florida Keys myths busted:

Myth 1: There is no more wonderful drive than Highway 1 across the Florida Keys.

Fact: On a Saturday morning, traffic was backed up on U.S. 1 for miles before we reached the first key. Passing lanes were rare. Where they existed, no one yielded the left lane for fear of losing their place in line. Average speed tended to be be 5 to 10 miles below the limit (45 mph in most areas).

Myth 2: The scenery is unmatched.

Fact: The scenery is matched by what you see along many stretches of Bell Road, but with more sandal outlets and boat dealers. Still plenty of dollar stores, however.

Myth 3: Key Largo deserves every bit of its movie and song fame.

Fact: With traffic and strip malls, and not a single glimpse of the water from the highway, the drive through Key Largo lasted as long as the movie.

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Myth 4: Each key is a tropical world unto its own.

Fact: Most of the islands run together, separated by narrow channels. I couldn’t tell where Duck Key ended and Marathon began. Not that it mattered. Just more sandal outlets and boat dealers.

Myth 5: Build in plenty of time to explore.

Fact: Very little tempts you off the main drag. And once off the main road, you will have a difficult time getting back on because there are few breaks in traffic. Don’t even think about attempting a left turn unless you brought a magazine to read while waiting for a gap.

Myth 6: The Keys bask in a relaxed vibe.

Fact: When you're seated at a bar, that's true. But behind the wheel, it's as relaxing as NASCAR. The hotel concierge warned motorists against trying to pass on the two-lane highway. "When people die in the Keys, it’s from a head-on collision.”

Myth 7: Key West holds the southernmost point of the continental U.S., which is marked by a concrete buoy.

Fact: Such a buoy exists (as well as a long line of people waiting to pose with it), but it's not the southernmost point. That would be Ballast Key, a private island southwest of Key West. No, you can't go there. That's what "private" means.

Myth 8: Long bridges span vast expanses of turquoise water.

Fact: Only the Seven Mile Bridge gives you that lovely view. Most others are no longer than Tempe's Mill Avenue Bridge.

Myth 9: The remoteness of the Keys translates into affordable accommodations.

Fact: Nope. Rooms cost $200 a night and more. Much more.

Myth 10: There is so much to do in the Keys that you need at least a week to experience it all.

Fact: True if you love water-based activities. You may fill your days with swimming, diving and boating. But if other activities and attractions are on your agenda, one night should do it. Just make sure you’re in downtown Key West. And don't waste 40 minutes waiting to hug that concrete buoy.