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As a public service from the staff here at the shebeen, we would like to present you this list of swine-borne diseases compiled by the good people at Purdue University who study such things.

People having the most risk of contracting diseases from swine are those in close, direct contact with sick pigs, for example, pork producers, veterinarians, packing plant workers, and animal researchers...

And why, you're probably thinking, have we picked this particular Wednesday to ruin your appetite at lunchtime? Glad you asked. From the Washington Post:

Under the proposed new inspection system, the responsibility for identifying diseased and contaminated pork would be shared with plant employees, whose training would be at the discretion of plant owners. There would be no limits on slaughter-line speeds. The new pork inspection system would accelerate the federal government’s move toward delegating inspections to the livestock industry. During the Obama administration, poultry plant owners were given more power over safety inspections, although that administration canceled plans to increase line speeds. The Trump administration in September allowed some poultry plants to increase line speeds.

I'm reassured. How about you?

A hog farm. John Gress Getty Images

Pat Basu, the chief veterinarian with the USDA’s Food Safety and Inspection Service from 2016 to 2018, refused to sign off on the new pork system because of concerns about safety for both consumers and livestock. The USDA sent the proposed regulations to the Federal Register about a week after Basu left, and they were published less than a month later, according to records and interviews. “Look at the FAA. It took a year or so before the crashes happened,” Basu said. “This could pass and everything could be okay for a while, until some disease is missed and we have an outbreak all over the country. It would be an economic disaster that would be very hard to recover from.”

Do the people who will profit from the newly relaxed oversight have some flying-pig flummery to hide behind while they begin mentally counting their increased profits? Watch the sausage get made.

The National Pork Producers Council, the association for the $20 billion pork industry, said the new system will create a more symbiotic relationship with USDA workers who will “partner with the pork industry to better ensure safe products are entering the marketplace,” according to an issues paper the trade group distributed on Capitol Hill.

Yes, and my instincts tell me that this "more symbiotic relationship" can be summarized by a boss telling an underpaid employee on the slaughter-line to pass on that green-and-purple pig meat and not worry that it smells like a landfill in August and seems to have developed the power of speech. After a few months, I wouldn't be surprised if the meat itself staged a walkout.

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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