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Bethany Cunningham (23), says she knows it sounds like kind of harsh, but Queenslanders are just redneck pieces of shit who vote against their own interests because they are racists who aren’t very well educated.

The Newtown-based post-grad arts student says she really cannot fathom a population of five million people who could get it so wrong.

“They really fucked it for Labor” says Bethany, who voted for The Greens on the weekend.

“It’s because they are all bogans”

“I seriously can’t believe they voted for Scomo and his slogans over extremely complex changes to tax legislation”

However, twenty or so clicks south, deep in the Cook Electorate, the rest of the Cunningham tribe have got the crownies on ice.

“How good!” shouts her brother Toby, a fridge mechanic from Cronulla.

“How fucken good” shouts her old man, Hogan, a local tiler turned property investor.

“That fucken good!” shouts her mum, Donna, a well-known local real estate agent.

“About as fucken good as it gets!” shouts Nonno, a fruit truck driver.

With her family eating fresh prawns out of a styrofoam box, and the Crownies and Yellow Tail flowing – Bethany has decided to give this family catch-up a miss and stay put in Sydney’s entitlement belt for the weekend. Mainly because she’s too sad about the election result.

Unbeknownst to Bethany, or perhaps very well known to Bethany, both sets of her grandparents were handing out Liberal how-to-vote cards over the weekend, after Chris Bowen literally told them not to vote for Labor.

In fact, the only other person in Bethany’s extended family who didn’t vote for the Liberals on the weekend was her cousin Darren from Wollongong – who voted for Clive Palmer because he thought it would be funny.

When asked if she views her entire bloodline in the same light as she views the deplorable Queenslanders who secured Scott Morrison’s re-election over the weekend, Bethany says it’s different.

“Queenslanders voted for the Liberals because they are racist hillbillies and only care about themselves”

“My family only voted Liberal because they wanted to protect a tax loophole where people too well off to need the pension could claim cash refunds for a tax they effectively didn’t pay”