Since BOAT CRIME is a sovereign nation and all of you are visitors to this strange watery realm, we thought it best to inform you of the laws of the land/water. Here are some BOAT CRIMES for which you could be arrested. If found guilty by a boatload of your peers, the punishment for all of the following offenses is boat execution.

Impersonating a Boat

Murder in the Boat Degree

Boatnapping

Napping in a Boat

Grand Boat Auto

Reckless Floating

Manslaughter with a Boat

Boatslaughter

Manboat

Boat Trafficking

Jayswimming

Using Counterfeit Money to Pay a Hooker to Commit Perjury … on a Boat.

Phishing

Schooner Molestation

Fishing

That’s the list. Everything else you can think of is perfectly legal.