what did i do today?

uh…… time’s wasting away, but i don’t feel guilty about it.

I just wanna eat plants.

.:. my away message the above was

can you make a image with simple css commands? individual cells representing pixels

will that require more bandwidth than a real image?

What is an image? What makes the blue light on my HD blink when it is accessing?

Do I really want to know? How deep, how far do I really wanna delve into this world?

Something, some part of me wants to know and learn more more more…

Some part of me keeps holding myself back… is this because I don’t wanna go deeper into this particular (and may I say, rather impersonal field), or is it my hold-backiness, which holds me back from my true potential?

Why do I procrastinate, hold back, be reserved? What am I waiting for… there is no time like the present. If I don’t “DO IT NAUGH!!!”… is it human nature to always believe in the future? that there WILL be a future? What if there is no future for me? What if I am fated to die in 23 days? What would I do differently?

Like it is written on the mirror….

oLive NOW.

Sigh. I neve was that good at foresight… or maybe I am, and just can’t see it.

I have an “ultimate goal”, but I say I don’t know how to get there. Is that a sign of my age, or of my personality?

Part of me feels as if there is an eternal shark behind me ready to eat my ass up… part of me doesn’t recognize this and keeps on living life, sleeping, wasting, being. Nothing.

Its hard to break outta this cycle. I see other people breaking outta their own respective cycles, ready to jump into their new ones, that will govern their lives for add end.

I don’t wanna jump into THAT… but I feel restless. I need to move on, but I don’t wanna go to THAT. But I NEED to move.

fuck fuck fuck… aww… there plays Nujabes+Fat Jon-Departure-“Mystline”

This song grounds me somewhat. Euphoria end.

Once again… its 5am. Will I wake early to greet my new life? Or will I continue to sleep in?

It seems so easy… why do I make it so hard?

Years later from now, will this make sense? Will I laugh? Will I be puzzled?

It doesn’t matter. I know that this is how I feel— no AM, right now. This is me. This is…why do I not like ever saying this…

Terry Yoshiaki McCall.

what a fucked up anomaly of a name huh? Is that why? Why have I always denied my middle name, seeking that Asian standard?

I take pride in it now though.

Where will I, society, the world, human, everything, where will we be in 10 years?

In 2030, I will be 50 some years old. Will I be OLD? I don’t feel that way…

damn.