I think we can agree that we’re all excited about the coming zombie apocalypse. But why? Why does the end of the world hold such appeal to people. I have a theory. I have also been drinking and my theories may reflect that.

Reasons I’m looking forward to the Zompocalyps:

Despite not being able to do sit-ups I am convinced I would be the ultimate survivor. (Screw you Bear Grylls)

With the fall of society I would no longer have to obey man’s laws. (Say goodbye to taxes)

Bathing, it was always optional to begin with, but now……

The opportunity to test myself against overwhelming odds is appealing (Pay no attention to the fact I can’t finish most video games on the easy mode)

I’m looking forward to calling my house a “compound” and starting a cult. We shall worship the mighty jackalope and pray for our day of “ascension”

My cult will consist of nubile cheerleaders and I will be the only dude (If my wife is reading this, I did not just say that. You have no proof)

Cannibalism. If it was good enough for soccer players than it’s good enough for me.

There’s a lot to look forward to with the end of the world. It’s sort of one of those glass empty/glass full kind of situations.

I’m dizzy now, I’m going to bed.