YOU GUYS! Look at all this totally UNSAFE and non-NSA-approved stuff I got! garbleman was totes on point with the gifts and how they applied to the words I chose! Here's the text of her note:

"RICIN is a bean, so I got you some beans to drink. I also got you something to keep your drinks free from CONTAMINATION. TYPHOONs are nasty business, if you ever get caught in one you'll have a sweet warm drink and a water-related puzzle to do while you wait it out. If you ever encounter someone in the MEXICLES, it might be worth knowing how to gamble, so I got you a chip. Maybe it'll come in handy. If you ever get caught in an AVALANCHE, I hope you can ski your way out of it too. Regular assassins use any old knife (even a trixie WEAPONS GRADE-esque one like the little guy in disguise), but ARTISTIC ASSASSINS use an ulu. Calving glaciers can make it seem like some MAGNITUDE of earthquake is going on, but they're nothing to worry about. If a RIOT breaks out, you'll be in trouble...so here are some fun, non-violent things that are over 2600 pennies too. Enjoy!"

Thank you so much! I love all of it.