Man of Steel was a thoroughly entertaining superhero movie and a serviceable Superman movie. Fortunately, the last son of Krypton was not the only super-powered being saving the world, as the king of Atlantis was hanging out, cleaning up ol’ Kal-El’s mess.

It has been 98 days since our last Aquaman is Awesome post. We’re due.

Arthur Curry’s presence is first felt near the beginning, while a scruffy Clark is trying his best impression of Jack Kerouac auditioning for Deadliest Catch. Pre-Supes can’t help but hurl himself at a burning oil rig, rescue the roughnecks, and then keep derrick from collapsing on a hapless helicopter. Explosion. We cut to some Kansas flashbacks. Mr. Soupy floats in the water. Pan up and, inexplicably, there’s a couple of humpback whales just chilling, amidst the carnage of a collapsing oil rig, having a casual sing-in. No doubt those whales are having a chat with a rogue Atlantean, swimming somewhere off screen. He’s probably making sure that the Caped Clam Chowder doesn’t ruin his handy work.

Because, obviously, Aquaman was the one who knocked out that oil rig. I said he was saving the world, not saving humanity. That’s Crab Bisque’s gig.

Later on there’s some reference to “Trident” as a codeword. Whatever.

Finally, while Tomato Basil Bisque is smashing up the world engine over the South Pacific, he seems to get a major alley-oop just at the critical moment. Obviously launching himself from the shoulders of the world’s toughest lifeguard. Later, we find French Onion Supe resting peacefully on a small island. No doubt he was carried there by some friendly seahorses.

Somehow, Aquaman managed to be the most interesting hero in a movie that he is not even in. If the rumors of a future Aquaman movie are true, I once again offer my services to Warner Brothers as a marine science advisor. I present, for posterity, my credentials:

And, if you want to know what ridiculous wonders a touch of marine science could bring to Hollywood, consider these:

Since I have your attention, here’s some practical advice, too:

Here’s Aquaman, shaking his fun cooker:

Andrew will be away on his honeymoon for the next month. Consider this his summer linkfest and announcement of short blogging sabbatical. See you all in August!