ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local man’s classic Reeboks have taken their first steps to becoming the disgusting trotter covers they were put on this Earth to become today as their owner decided he didn’t need to wear socks with them today.

Speaking exclusively to The Advocate today at Gaz’s Takeaway on O’Connell Street in the Old City, Darcy Rutland explained to our reporter today over a fisherman’s basket that his new shoes, which he bought in October of last year, are now his old ones.

“That’s a pretty accurate statement, Errol. We’re only a couple hundred meters from my place and I just couldn’t be stuffed finding some socks to put on. You know what it’s like,” he said.

“I guess they are old shoes now. I can feel the pools of sweat building up under the soles of my feet. Like the top layer of skin is dissolving and sticking to the shoe material,”

“Yeah, these will be looking like I’m wearing shoes made from Derryn Hinch’s first Penfolds’ stained liver in no time.”

He went onto say that when he gets home, he’ll probably take them off at the door of his apartment. For the first time.

From there, he’ll probably have to start taking them off out on the balcony.

Then one day, he’ll come home from work to find that his fiance has thrown them out.

“I guess then I’ll have to go and buy some new shoes?”

More to come.