Getting blackout drunk, super drunk, is an art. Blackout drunk is an actual, achievable state of consciousness. One of the most interesting aspects of the consumption of ethyl-alcohol, it’s essentially impossible to know when you are in a blackout state. To achieve this state of being, you need to maximize alcohol intake, while also preventing death. And, not causing content loss due to nausea. The trick is eating some food at least 5 hours before you begin.

A mostly, or completely empty stomach facilitates rapid uptake. This is key to a blackout. You must drink more than can be processed in a short period of time. Once a blackout state is reached, the consumption of alcohol can be halted. Any strong anti nausea medication is suggested at this point. Marijuana is an ideal solution as it is socially popular among the intoxicated. And, it aids in retaining stomach contents until complete absorption. Halting the consumption of alcohol will cause the eventual end of a blackout state.

I’ve compiled a list of the top 5 best alcohols to get blackout drunk. Everyone has their own favorite personal poison. Add your favorite alcohol drink for getting blackout drunk in the comments below.

1. Grey Goose and RedBull

Vodka and Redbull definitely provides the most intense blackout. Or, so I’m told. It’s a crazy night that I can’t recollect at all. I took my dose on New Year’s Eve. You’ll have to pay for the book to hear that story. But the combination of strong liquor, stimulant and rapid intake sets up the ideal blackout scenario. Definitely the number one blackout drink.

2. Johnnie Walker Black Label

I went to a wedding where I discovered the bride’s father had stashed a bottle of black label. I had the bartender pour liberally. Needless to say, vast quantities of whiskey always leads to a great blackout. To punctuate the wedding experience, I told off the bride’s parent – for being too rich – and then passed out during sex. A good blackout can only be claimed when your logic is as hopeless as your long term sobriety.

3. Old Crow Whiskey

This stuff is actually not terrible. The trick is slamming 8oz and then waiting 20 minutes for the whiskey to take hold and properly numb the taste buds. Its price, cheap, makes it ideal for consumption in excess. I found a bartender in LES that would only flirt with me if I drank it. I ended up blacked out. And, I went home alone. Well played.

4. Brass Monkeys

The combination of sweet orange juice, and the very powerful malt liquor of OE, Olde English, makes the Brass Monkey very potent. This drink, which is forever immortalized by the Beastie Boys, lives up to its promises of funkiness. Brass Monkey, if you can choke it down, can definitely lead to a blackout state by spiking blood sugar while also flooding the body with cheap malt liquor. This effect can be achieved by almost any mixed alcohol drink. Another popular favorite is “gin and juice”

5. Anything and Cocaine

It’s not a single drink. It’s a two step process. The cocaine is best applied to the nostril. Powdered stimulants are easily inhaled. Intoxication is immediate. Alcohol is best drank. Like always. When alcohol is enjoyed with cocaine the body can easily bypass basic mechanisms, like falling asleep, and consume much more alcohol than should otherwise be possible. This makes it possible to get blackout drunk with even beer when combined with cocaine. However, cocaine isn’t legal. Getting an anything and cocaine is impossible, legally. But, it still makes the list. It’s a powerful way to reach a blackout state.

Conclusion

Ethyl-alcohol is a volatile, flammable, colorless liquid with a slight characteristic odor. It’s best enjoyed, anytime, anywhere of your choosing. Though convention precludes its use during work. And law prohibits its use while operating motor vehicles. However you enjoy and abuse alcohol, if you’re planning to get blackout drunk, do so irresponsibly.

The application of foods should be limited during any attempt at a blackout state. Consumption of carbohydrates like rice or bread can assist in slowing additional uptake. However, there is no remedy for alcohol that has already reached the blood stream. Hospital visits will be required in cases of alcohol poisoning.

You cannot know the minimum until you’ve explored the maximum of it. Over consumption is a distinctly human capacity. The edges of anything are best explored to understand the contrast. In the case of alcohol the edges of reality and dream, memory and forget, fun and truly in the moment only. A state of being that can only be experienced once is rare, unique to blackout. It’s foreign to the human experience to not remember. It’s prolonged in a blackout state. It’s the minimum to human existence to experience and not remember. Permanently, it would be disaster. But, in the temporary state of blackout, a unique portal of life can be had.

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