Enlightened Living by Martin Faulks

An excerpt from Enlightened Living by Martin Faulks

One of the most important goals when we choose to follow a spiritual path or a form of meditation practice for self-improvement, is to develop and establish a balanced life. When we start to exert an effort to establish a meditation or a form of spiritual practice that leads to self-improvement, life will challenge our qualities and our character and priorities at every step. If you do not develop a balanced lifestyle from the onset you will find it is a bit like trying to build a castle on sand. We have to keep readjusting the foundations as we continue.

Some of the major stumbling blocks we have when trying to change our life, are not being able to adhere to disciplines we put in place long enough to turn them into a habit. The results being a sense of defeat an lack of control in our life. These aspects below are some of the factors that get in the way of forming a balanced life and are addressed, so we can begin to transform them and make progress on all levels.

1. Do What you Say you are Going to do

We all set goals and say “ok, today I am going to get up at 6 am every morning!” Then the morning arrives and we still feel tired and give ourselves that extra 10 minutes. Don’t give in! Make sure you get up, this small action will increase your will and over time you will have less resistance. Start with something small like getting up at a specific time every day. The best way to do this is to incorporate the new task within an already established routine. So when you get up

2. Negative self- speak and procrastination

Start listening to the inner objections and negative inner voice and when you hear it change it to a positive outcome. For example, maybe we say ourselves, “I can’t do this because,“‘ or “what is the point in doing this, nothing is changing.” Changing the inner voice when it occurs can have profound effects because often the negative language is so subtle and ingrained we are not even aware that we are doing it. It has become a habit. So time to change that habit for another one.

3. Dealing with Negative People

This can be a massive issue in our lives. Negativity is an ingrained aspect of the workings of instinctual aspects of human nature. It is there since we are trained to see threats and can act as a defence mechanism. But also the mind is programmed to see differences as well. However, this is a challenge for many of us. Enlightened Living. goes into detail addressing how to deal with people who have a propensity towards negativity. One aspect here is to see them as a training partner. View them as someone who can help you improve yourself. If they criticise you see it at a way on how you can improve yourself. Another aspect if you are not in a position to do that. Then send that person your feelings of hurt etc. In some confused way, this is what they wish for. They want your pain……..then, give it to them.

One perspective Martin mentions is to see them as a training partner. View them as someone who can help you improve yourself. If they criticise you, see it as a way improving yourself. Perhaps they are right, may be your friends complains about you that you are always late, then this is a wonderful guide in showing that you need to practice being on time. However, on the other hand, if someone is deliberately finding ways to hurt you and if changing your way is not working, Then send that person your feelings of hurt etc. In some confused way, this is what they wish for. They want your pain……..then, give it to them.

4. Learning to Listen and Govern the Emotions

This a huge aspect of our lives and the emotions are something we develop from a young age. Patterns of behaviour are formed and they become programmed reactions to dealing with events when faced with challenging aspects of our life. We often try and avoid painful or uncomfortable emotions, either by using distractions, through activities, such as watching videos or become emerged in a football game. Another way is to suppress emotions may be through, alcohol, drugs, smoking etc.

How do we deal with these out of control or uncomfortable emotions?

Firstly, is to watch, start to become aware of them. When a strong emotion arises, look at the trigger, ask yourself “What did that person say to make me feel so angry?.” Secondly, look at situations when this anger arises what is the real reason why you feel angry. Perhaps your girlfriend or boyfriend did something to annoy you in the morning and you still harbour that feeling and take it out on the computer that just crashed! These emotions are there to tell us what is going on, to aid us and protect us, but sometimes they are misplaced and the information they are giving us is incorrect. So we need to be discerning. They are there in an advisory capacity only not to dominate and rule our lives.

These emotions are there to tell us what is going on, to aid us and protect us, but sometimes they are misplaced and the information they are giving us is incorrect. So we need to be discerning. They are there in an advisory capacity only, NOT to dominate and rule our lives.

By practicing this and listening to the emotions we will find that often the reasons for them are not what they seem as first observed. Usually, they are deep rooted and maybe even be linked back to an incident that occurred in childhood. By association, that emotion can be triggered again. For example, if you had a particular negative parent and everything you did was criticised, then perhaps if you are in a work situation and they correct your mistake, this may create and sense of anger and hurt which was something you felt when your parents chastised you unfairly. But the memory may be now long forgotten in your mind, however, the emotional memory it is still very present

5. Making a Vow

Perhaps there is an aspect of our life we find incredibly difficult to overcome, something we know that we are capable of achieving but somehow, every time we try we fail. Maybe it is trying to keep up a regular meditation practice, or sticking to a workout routine or eating healthily. Whatever the challenge is, a powerful method the author offers to combat this is to make a vow. This is where you are making a commitment to yourself to do something for a set amount of days. Be it a meditating twice a day or physical training. The best way is to set a number of days you will perform this task for. Using a visual reminder is great for this to wear a bracelet or when you meditate burn an incense stick to for every day you perform that task until it is complete. It is an exciting way to view your progress and a great way to remind yourself each day.

By making a vow you are making a commitment to yourself to do something for a set amount of days. Be it a meditating twice a day or physical training. The best way is to set a number of days you will perform this task for. Using a visual reminder is great for this, for example, wearing a bracelet, or when you meditate burn an incense stick to for every day you perform that task until it is complete. It is an exciting way to view your progress and a great way to remind yourself each day.

These are some helpful tips to assist you in developing greater harmony in your life. All these areas are addressed in detail Enlightened Living by Martin Faulks, available in both Kindle and Paperback.

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