Start with a qualification.

I recently read 1000 self help posts from Medium.com and what have to share now is probably obvious, but it looks visually appealing on Medium so I thought I’d write about it.

2. Perhaps use a Narrative

One Sunday afternoon I was sitting on my couch in SoHo and looked in the mirror and said, “Simon, you could be doing more”. So I did. I picked up my MacBook, put down my Kindle (be sure to casually note your privilege) and opened up Medium.com and started reading. What I learned will change my life through many stranger’s tweets for days.

3. Pick a Tone. Humble or Forceful.

Now, I could just sit here and assert, “this is what I did, it worked for me and it might not for you” but that’s bullshit. DO WHAT I SAY TO FIX YOUR LIFE, WHICH I ASSERT IS SHITTY. How do I know? I ask condescendingly, because you’re sitting at home reading this, and not doing something real and meaningful. Make your reader share in your pain which you think is insight.

4. Play with formatting

Medium makes it easy to play with emphasis and italics. Play with these. Make them your own. Don’t stop until they really don’t make any sense at all. Inconsistency is key. Don’t even forget to use the other features, too.

I find a loosely related quote to be helpful too.

5. 2 Min Read

Sure, you may have spent your last month not eating cheese or drinking coffee, but the rest of us didn’t. So tell us what we need to know so we can close this tab. You’re not fucking Gandhi, you’re a 20-something living in New York who didn’t visit Starbucks this week. 2 minutes is the most you’ll get out of us, so check your expectations.

Add a random image half way down to make the post look longer than it is.

6. Lists

People love lists. It lets them know where they are and if they’ve missed anything important. Be sure to point out which point is the most important, if there is one.

8. Conclusion

Be sure to put a condescending yet relatable conclusion. Put out that real “you can do this too” attitude to the reader — even though you’ve been subtly implying this whole time that you’re something of a unicorn.