Is taking it to the extreme part of submitting? Is making him do so part of being his dominant? Do you take it as far as you are comfortable with? Does she take it as far as she is comfortable with? Once you tell your partner of your need to submit and wanted her in control, do you even have a choice on how far she takes it? Did you give up that right, as her decision to be your dominant means she knows that you desperately want it deep down? Like…I give you my consent to take away my consent.

It’s been interesting lately, I read a few books, and having read so many blogs about certain subjects that apply to me. I find it weird to see others reactions and the direction they took, both unique and well intended.

Some of the books I’ve been reading are about males that have admitted to their partner of their need to submit, and their reaction. More on point their interpretation of giving their submissive what they need which may not be anything like what they want. His need is to submit, to serve, to prove worth, show adoration, to endure, and to sacrifice is actually giving him what he needs. In so doing, she is actually being immensely giving and loving no matter what that entails.

In one book, in which I actually have chatted with both on a chastity site that I am a member, they have a female led marriage. Her response to him admitting his submissive side was to put all of her needs first. For her, giving him what he needed was him submitting totally to her and forgoing all rights and possession. She wound up giving him what he needed by enforcing chastity, domestic discipline, and cuckolding him. Her agreeing to his submissive nature and acting the part came with her thinking that this is what that entailed. He was scared, he was unsure, but he did want her in charge, and her in charge meant doing everything as she saw it, then he was willing to accept.

Another book, this one about the same topic, her interpretation was him becoming her feminine maid. To serve her in all ways, relinquishing all duties of the home to him, and for him to be the most submissive possible (in her eyes, as a full time maid). She gave him a choice of being normal or this life of feminine servitude, and he picked to be her maid and all the chores, clothes, grooming, and punishment that went with it. She did it not to be an asshole or be mean, she did it because this was something he needed to be submissive and that is what her idea of taking submission to the ultimate level was.

After reading both books I have to say that both cases are to the extreme. Especially the maid version. Don’t get me wrong, I have dabbled into maid service, which ended up actually filling a large whole in me, but it isn’t something that is very practical in every day life. For instance, in the book, they got rid of all his male clothes. I have a normal life outside of the home and we couldn’t do that. It does however show her commitment to his needs by securing his submission, even if it’s not always fun, not because it’s it has to be this way, but because it’s what she thinks is best for him. Almost protective, and by giving him a choice to either accept or quit, she could take this to the level that she thought best for him.

The other book, about the cuckolding, went to extremes too. Again this is something that would be a bit much for me. I have already agreed with her that she could do that if she wanted, but I had put restrictions on it. I had said I would need to be there, that she needed to inform me ahead of time, etc. The truth of the matter is that if you truly are submitting, do I really have a choice in that? In the book she takes his need to submit as a cry for her to make him truly submit, and takes that as his need for her to find a way to make that happen, even if he struggles with it.

I think these books were intriguing because they went to the extreme. I am somewhat of an all in personality, so of course certain things like rules of the home, expectations, enforced servitude and feminization all hit a nerve with me. The ongoing punishment and humiliation aspects also appealing because it puts me on a different level.

This all comes around to us, because I had similarly admitted my submissive need as well as my turn ons. Not to mention some of my new ones that have since developed. So it begs the what if’s questions. Does my need to submit naturally expand past my comfort levels? Does her accepting me this way automatically mean I’m asking her to do just that? How would I feel if she did that? How would I feel if she never does? Both books were about a couple in love. Both books are about the females version of their struggle with the truth about their partner, and their interpretation of how to give what is needed. In our reality I’m pretty sure my wife would not be comfortable going to those extremes , which is nice because I certainly couldn’t do the maid thing full time.

This of course is all just thinking out loud, I had the day off and thought I would share my thoughts and feelings. It’s all pretty heady stuff, wants, needs, submission, giving. Is submitting totally the strongest act of love? Is making a submissive submit an even greater one? Is it in our nature to want to experience it? Is it easier and more life fulfilling to follow societal norms and conform to what is publicly acceptable?

Who knows really, in the end it’s just mental and everything is relative. We are who we are, and we do what we feel is the best way.