Controversial Independent TD Michael Lowry has revealed his plans to release a book about his career in politics. Mr Lowry made the announcement in what he described as a “light-hearted” radio interview, but has said that he is serious about writing the book that he hopes will be out before October, with The Michael Lowry Annual for Boys 2013 to follow at Christmas for the pre-teen market.

The autobiography – entitled “Just Jealous” – will detail his more than 30 years in politics as well as candid stories about his various other career and romance adventures, including his stints as a SWAT team member, professional model and personal masseuse to sexy siren Helen Mirren.

“Helen said I had the hands of a God, and when I did that elbow grinding thing into her shoulders it sent her into a whirling spiral of never-ending supreme ecstacy” said Lowry “…or something along those lines”.

“It was something sexy anyway” he added.

“Some of it may be hard to believe” said Lowry to presenter Sean Moncrieff on Newstalk 104FM‘s Morning Infiltration show. “I can scarcely believe it myself, thinking back. But it’s been a remarkable life” he chuckled, wistfully.

“Before I started in the refrigeration & politics game, I was a pretty hot young buck on the motocross track in the USA. I’ve won hundreds of trophies. But people believe what the media want them to believe”, he pondered.

As well as a thrilling account of Lowry’s heroic battle with a hungry Great White shark while surfing in South Africa, the book covers his time as a Fine Gael TD and minister prior to his expulsion from the party. It also refers to the years where he made deals for his constituency with Fianna Fail leaders Bertie Ahern and Brian Cowen in return for supporting their coalition, as well as a few yarns about the arm-wrestling trucker convoy he was part of in North America in the early 80s.

It will also include his involvement in the Moriarty Tribunal, which found Lowry guilty of granting of a state mobile phone licence to businessman Denis O’Brien‘s Esat Digifone company in the mid-1990s, when he was Fine Gael Minister for Communications. Both men have rejected the tribunal’s report which memorably branded Mr Lowry as “laughably corrupt” and “completely full to the brim with hot, steaming horseshit”

Lowry says he plans to publish the book himself, having the copies printed at a North Tipperary printing mill owned by an associate. The mill uses locally sourced wood from a large forest which has been felled in order to make space for a new super-casino planned by a nearby business, Lowry Book Printing.

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