In happier times. (Image via Associated Press

Our very own Señor Jeb Bush, who has recently been clutching onto one last silken strand of sense and dignity by refusing to endorse Donald Trump, has once again been humiliated by an immediate family member as his son George P. Bush urged Republicans to support the guy who helped make his dad a national laughingstock. Love this fam!


The Texas Tribune reported on Sunday that George P., who serves as Texas Land Commissioner and as the state GOP’s victory chairman, asked Texas Republicans to get behind Trump—a bit of an awkward request, since, last anyone has heard, dad Jeb (along with the rest of the family) has withheld his endorsement and says he will not be voting for either candidate in November. Also, George P. is half-Mexican. But, you know!

From the Tribune:

“From Team Bush, it’s a bitter pill to swallow, but you know what? You get back up and you help the man that won, and you make sure that we stop Hillary Clinton,” Bush said, according to video of the remarks provided by an audience member. Bush was speaking in his capacity as the Texas GOP’s victory chairman, who is responsible for overseeing the party’s statewide campaign in November. Bush had been criticized for taking the role without backing the party’s presidential nominee.


And if you thought this was the first time yung Bush has made life shitty for his father, think again—back in 2012, he emphatically endorsed Jeb’s future adversary Ted Cruz for the Senate (“We can still be friends,” George P. said last year of Cruz in a frankly shocking display of fondness). Way back in 1994, an 18-year-old George P. was arrested for breaking into the house of his ex-girlfriend, who told police he’d been “a problem” since they broke up (her father declined to press charges).

I imagine when Jeb found out about his son’s betrayal, he was in the middle of a three-course, paleo-friendly meal at the family compound in Kennebunkport. Jeb abruptly stood up, chair screeching behind him. His head felt as though it has been injected with venom, swelling painfully over his thick brow. Several pairs of squinty, familiar eyes peered after him as he scuttled off to his childhood bedroom, closing the door with a loud thud. Jeb crawled under the bed, breathing in a light layer of dust. At last, he was safe.