Tottenham Hotspur have fallen off the wagon big-style. After keeping their decorum for a couple of transfer windows, all bets appear to be off. They’re going to spend nearly £70m on Juventus striker Paulo Dybala, fancy landing Barcelona success story Pip Coutinho on loan, and have slashed £80m off Christian Eriksen’s asking price in order to get rid. Anyone interested?

Tottenham prepare £64.4m bid for Juventus's Paulo Dybala Read more

Manchester United! Manchester United are interested! They’d be happy to spend £50m on Eriksen – that initial £130m price tag was a little optimistic, let’s be fair – because they’re still not sure if Paul Pogba will be around come Friday morning.

More evidence of United’s renowned long-term transfer strategy can be found in their sudden interest in 34-year-old free agent Fernando Llorente. They’re also hoping to replace Romelu Lukaku, who hasn’t left, with Neymar. Or maybe the aforementioned Coutinho. Joined-up thinking. Ed Woodward, the transfer calligrapher.

Manchester City, on the other hand, haven’t made a dud signing since Lee Bradbury, and are extremely close to sealing a deal for Juventus defender João Cancelo.

Mesut Özil is off to DC United! They need a replacement for Wayne Rooney, so are coming at this problem from a Woodwardian angle.

Leicester City are interested in Celtic central defender Kristoffer Ajer, who would become the new Harry Maguire or the new Virgil van Dijk, depending on which way you want to spin it. You could have it both ways, to be fair.

Arsenal focused on signing defender despite offer of Philippe Coutinho loan Read more

Real Madrid are in the market for a defensive midfielder for the first time since 1976. Liverpool have turned down their last-minute bid for Fabinho, but money talks so let’s see how this pans out.

And so it’s just over a day to go before the transfer window shuts. Then the Mill can go into hibernation for three or four months. What?