Tori Hall is ready to use her experience to help others. In her first interview since her split from Brad Fiorenza in 2015, the former reality star is speaking out to Us Weekly, revealing how she got to the positive place she is today.

Viewers saw the couple fall in love on MTV’s The Gauntlet III in 2008. They competed together in The Duel II the following year and got married in 2010. That same year, they competed in their final challenge together, Cutthroat.

Brad made his Challenge return on Tuesday, January 2, when Vendettas premiered. Many viewers were shocked to see a completely single Brad. “We kept it really really quiet for the kids,” Tori, 31, tells Us. “I think that I lost my identity when I lost my marriage.” (The exes have two sons, Brady, 6, and Chase, 3.)

Bengstons #lovefall #family A post shared by Tori fiorenza (@torifiorenza) on Oct 13, 2017 at 2:51pm PDT

She and Brad broke up in August 2015 and their divorce was finalized in December 2016. On night one of the new season, Brad, 37, began hooking up with Are You the One?’s Britni Thorton.

“I think Brad’s getting the raw end of the deal too, because everyone’s like, ‘Oh my gosh, he cheated!’ He didn’t cheat on the show with Britni. We’ve been divorced for quite some time,” Tori tells Us. As for why Tori and Brad ultimately went their separate ways, the exes have a mutual agreement not to share the details, but Tori says they were simply no longer on the same page.

“We met really young. I was 20 years old when I met him and I grew up with him. I gave him a decade of my life, a third of my life,” she adds. “When we grew up and realized the things that we wanted in life … we realized we agreed on nothing. The only thing we agree on is our two kids.”

Right now, Tori is in a happy place and doesn’t watch the show. “I’m still healing. Divorce is horrific for everybody involved. It’s the loss of identity, loss of the person that’s still alive,” the former Miss Teen USA says. “I worked really hard to get into the place that I am in now and I feel like watching it would take me back a million steps.”

She also has waited until now to speak out so that she could completely move forward. Now, she hopes she can help other women going through a tough time.

“A year ago, I was in a dark place. I had people come along side me, scoop me up, give me hope and help me to go from barely surviving to thriving,” she says. “It’s not lost on me that there are women out there who are not as fortunate and if my story helps or gives hope to one person, then it gives purpose to my pain … This is my fight song! This is the year of ‘Yes’ and just trying to figure out me again.”

The Challenge: Vendettas airs on MTV on Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET.