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Desperate to figure out what was happening, he made his way back to his hospital room, presumably using the same kind of travel magic that allowed Jack Bauer to get anywhere in Los Angeles in 15 minutes or less on the pro-torture television classic 24. In no time at all, he was back in his room, standing next to his lifeless form. And that's when he met Jesus.

So there's a twist! Meeting Jesus upfront is rare in these situations, it seems, but things took a standard turn from there when he was subjected to the same life review that so many other people who go through near-death experiences talk about.

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Things got far stranger after that. Rather than being banished straight to Hell, Ritchie was taken on a guided tour of various afterlife locations. The first looked a lot like Earth. In fact, it was inhabited by both living and dead beings. The living were surrounded by a sort of light or aura, the dead were not.

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In one scene, he saw a packed bar in which lost souls uselessly grasped at the drinks being consumed by the living, desperate to drink, but completely unable. There was also a woman doing the exact same thing to anyone smoking a cigarette. What he surmised was that this was a version of Hell where the dead spend the rest of eternity unable to enjoy the things they loved the most, even though they're right in front of them.

His next stop, unlike the rest of the places he'd seen, was filled exclusively with the souls of the dead. They did not walk side by side with the living. Instead, they engaged in battle on a huge plain, engaging in endless displays of physical violence, but suffering no injuries. The fight just went on forever. Oh, and then there was the sex! Well, he described the acts as sexual abuses and perversions he "had never dreamed of" being attempted in vain.

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While that whole Richmond bit once again brings Swedenborg's Hells to mind, another famous depiction, the Vision of Wetti, merits a mention here also. In that terrifying glimpse into the afterlife, souls engage in sodomy in the streets, pausing only to partake in combat that centers mostly around genital mutilation.

Sounds awful, but I bet it's still better than spending eternity in Richmond.

Follow Adam on Twitter @adamtodbrown.

For more from Adam, check out 5 Things You Didn't Know Are Signs Of Impending Danger and 5 Insane Police Forces No One Ever Talks About.

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