ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local fly-in-fly-out worker has welcomed the end of this week as it’s been a tough one for him.

Friends of Dale Greenholm tell The Advocate that the 28-year-old’s brain has always blown a bit of blue smoke.

“Which means it’s fucked. Piston rings are shot,” said one pal.

“Guess that’s why he’s always though Australia should be a constitutional monarchy. What a fucking propeller head.”

Then when the Duke and Duchess of Sussex decided to pull the pin on being in the Royal Family, Dale was understandably upset.

That was the final blow to hit the young man, who is a professional pigeon trapper at the Lady Flow Guano Mine on the Haddon’s Corner Road.

Originally from Batlow in the New South Welsh cold country, Dale could only sit and watch fires circle his town. The town was largely saved by volunteer firefighters but the pigeon man explained to our reporter that it was touch and go for a second.

“I thought my week couldn’t get any worse after that,” said Dale.

“But then the fuel light came on in the cruiser.”

Thanks to the archaic laws and excises on fuel, our town’s terrible isolation and an almost war with Iran, the price of diesel in Betoota has gone through the roof. Reaching almost two dollars a litre in parts of Betoota Grove.

“That was a real boot up the gooch,” said Dale.

“Who can afford those prices? I’ll have to syphon it out of some of the Shire Council’s earthmoving machinery they’ve left on the side of the road down the Ponds Road,”

“Yeah, it’s been a tough week. I’ve gone from being on top of the world to actively planning the petty theft of 200 litres of bootleg diesel.”

More to come.



