Game Week: Illinois (2014)

Last weekend, a buddy told me that some tough-guy-bros next to him were talking about going down on the field and throwing some hands with Miami players. PLAYERS! Boy, I would’ve liked to see that. But instead, they booed them heartily from a safe distance. Close enough.

But who can blame them? We beat Miami. I don’t care what version of Miami this is, beating Miami is cool. They are the Empire and we are Luke Skywalker, in that while the real battle ended decades ago, you still appreciate it when the good guy wins.

I, for one, welcome our new occasionally-violent football team. Look at Josh Mitchell in the first frame below, being restrained by Corey Cooper from fighting a man literally 3 times his size. Josh Mitchell is the hero short people need.

This week in the Tunnel, we recap the Miami game and look ahead to Illinois but not too far ahead to Michigan State. Hopefully. God, please don’t lose to Illinois right now, Huskers.

Follow TWOS on Twitter where you can watch me get progressively drunker over the course of a game. And enjoy your tailgating this week (but please stop hitting cops with full beer bottles. You’re not Josh Mitchell).