By Chris Wright

Given the current penchant for the two-footed Exocet-style challenge as favoured by Glen Johnson among others, here is Pies’ pick of the XI worst, shin-splintering, sinew-shredding, ligament-twanging, bone-flaking tackles to ever take place on a Premier League pitch (that we could find corresponding videos for).

Perfect Friday afternoon viewing…

11. Phil Bardsley on Steven Pienaar, Sunderland vs Everton

Quite simply, a leg-breaker…

10. Thierry Henry on David Weir, Everton vs Arsenal

During his heyday, Thierry Henry played with an ethereal grace and beauty unparalleled by almost all of his peers and contemporaries – most of the time…

9. Michael Essien on Dietmar Hamann, Chelsea vs Liverpool

“It was the worst tackle I’ve experienced in my whole career. I honestly thought he’d broken my leg.”

So did we Didi, so did we…

(If anyone knows of a video source, it’d be greatly appreciated. We had one at the time of writing, but it got away)

8. John Terry on James Milner, Aston Villa vs Chelsea

Yes, it was in the FA Cup but, with the ball long gone, Terry’s studs-up assault on Milner’s fleshy bits is more than worthy of an inclusion…

7. Ryan Shawcross on Aaron Ramsey, Stoke vs Arsenal

Posted (almost) without comment as this is one particular can of worms I don’t fancy opening again. Shawcross’ ‘over-exuberant’ tackle busted Ramsey’s leg in twain and reignited the ‘everyone picks on Arsenal’ furore that was, in-turn, reignited by a certain tackle slightly lower on this list a couple of year’s beforehand…

(Warning: shows clear images of Ramsey’s broken leg)

6. Martin Taylor on Eduardo, Birmingham City vs Arsenal

Accidental it may well have been, but Taylor’s grotesque shin-snapping challenge on Eduardo is still, four years later, used as an example of just how dangerous a mis-timed tackle can be…

(Warning: Eduardo’s injury has not got any prettier over time)

5. Roy Keane on Neil Pointon, Oldham vs Manchester United

The Dark Lord of the Horror Tackle flies in headlong and sends Pointon somersaulting arse-over-tit with a monstrous shin-high tackle. Keane is shown a straight yellow. Pointon gets up and gets on with it like nothing happened. Ah, the good old days..

4. Michael Brown on Sean Davis, Fulham vs Portsmouth

Brown was definitely ‘that type of player’ – a rugged, old-school midfielder that specialised in making his opponent’s afternoon a misery and nothing more. That he still somehow saw fit to remonstrate with the referee after this nasty two-footed, bone-splintering lunge is testament to his approach…

3. Michael Brown on Ryan Giggs, Manchester United vs Fulham

See No. 4 for details. Brown only got a yellow card for this opportunistic, thigh-high, double-footed abhoration on Giggsy…

2. Roy Keane on Alf Inge Haaland, Manchester United vs Manchester City

“I didn’t wait for [the referee] to show the red card. I turned and walked to the dressing room.

“Even in the dressing room afterwards, I had no remorse. My attitude was, f**k him. What goes around comes around. He got his just rewards. He f**ked me over and my attitude is an eye for an eye.”

Four years after rupturing his knee ligaments in a botched attempt to trip Haaland (then of Leeds), Keane exacted his tyrannical, illogical revenge during the Manchester Derby at Old Trafford – crushing the Norwegian midfielder’s knees into a squidgy paste (going a fair old way towards ending his career in the process) and trudging off down the tunnel with a distinctly serial killer-y air of satisfaction…

1. Ben Thatcher on Pedro Mendes, Manchester City vs Portsmouth

The most reprehensible and disgustingly violent premeditated ‘challenge’ I think I’ve ever witnessed, if only for the fact that there wasn’t even any pretext of trying to win the ball – it also went unpunished at the time if I remember correctly.

Thatcher battered Mendes in the jaw with a running elbow and then had the temerity to stand over the Portuguese midfielder, chastising him for play-acting as he lay sparked out, slumped up against the advertising hoardings. Mendes then suffered a seizure on the way to A&E and was kept under medical supervision for a week following the incident. Thatcher was banned for eight games and fined six-weeks wages…

Disgusting. In the truest sense of the word. Disgusting.

There we go. Any we’ve missed? Fancy telling us how wrong/rubbish we really are? Take to the comments box below…