Burger Jesus

Burger Jesus will save and absolve us from all our trans-fat sins.





Now the birth of Burger Jesus is as follows. When the God of Burgers was in lust for a Queen of Freezymilk, two sons were born. The Burger Jesus and El Pollo Rojo. Each was promised the same location to sovereign, Earth. One occupies the day shift, the other the night.





Thus started the conflict of eternity, Burger Jesus born of a salty virgin, and El Pollo Rojo born to a chicken.

When Baby Burger Jesus was sent here in his in his sesame seed encrusted cradle the three wise men came from the dry-storage in the east, Fry Cook, Grill Master, and Front Counter.

They brought gifts for the small clam-shell pressed Baby Burger Jesus . They stayed but a minute due to the time restrictions set by the Lords Of Cooperate, dropping gifts before they expired.





Each day the followers of Burger Jesus , equip the homeless and mad with shoes of non slip and hats of poor charisma and give them a job in the sustenance mines.





The followers of El Pollo Rojo follow the path of wings and nuggets. Thou shall not number El Pollo Rojo.

El Pollo Rojo beget El Pollo Diablo. El Pollo Diablo beget Chicken Nuggets.





Burger Jesus will deep fry the world with love, kindness, and a dollar menu.

Drop not the first fry unless ye be without ketchup.





Burger Jesus will cast out the darkness with his grill seasoning of triumph.

Worship not false profits or hold times.

To question the Burger Jesus is to de-grease his infinite love.





Thou shalt not ask for extra condiments

Thou shall always wear non-slip shoes and washeth thy hands.

Thou shall liberally salt the fries, and only use 2 pickles per sandwich.

Thou shalt not ignore the expiration timers. Sinners will be marked to expire within 15 minnutes.





Thy holy word shall be written in Spanish and English, clearly posted at all work stations.

He knoweth thy as he knoweth thy number of products in the waste bin. He keeps perfect record.





He was deep-fried for our rebellious acts. He was grilled for our sins. He was wrapped so that we could have peace, and we receive healing from his sauce.

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