I arrived home yesterday to find 2 packages on my deck. Huzzah! Arbitrary Day had come! I grabbed the packages with great stealth and precision and roundhouse kicked the unto my table with just enough force to not damage the contents.

After a quick scan of the area, I withdrew my katana and swiftly sliced open package number 1. A haiku was on top: Ninjas in the dark Bring the food through the darkness I promise good tips.

Under the package stuffing, to my delight, I found Ninja Burger the game. This wasn't just Ninja Burger though, it was the Secret Ninja Death Touch Edition. It's as if my Santa had been channeling my most recent training!

After several minutes of doing backflips in joy, I moved onto the next package. I opted for throwing stars this time. Three stars flew from my hand, cutting the tape much like a skill saw. This gift too contained a haiku: Pirates steal the loot Merchants run when they spy you They can't get away

Curious, why would my santa write about pirates? Pirates are, after all, sworn enemies of the ninja. I readied myself for an attack and removed the brown paper. Merchants and Marauders was revealed to me. Was this some sort of trick? Was there a hoard of pirates waiting for me in my liquor closet? Had they drank all my booze? "Fuckers better not have," I thought to myself, "it's Friday and I want to get my drink on. However, the pirates being stumbling and drunk wil my job all the easier."

With a puff of smoke I disappeared from my table and reappeared in front of the booze container. My senses were tingling. I slipped on my hand claws and threw open the door. Nothing. Still, my ninja senses told me something was up.

I aikido rolled back to the table. At this point my senses were screaming. I picked up the game box and passed out do to immense pirate aura. Thankfully my wife was near. She administered an ancient secret ninja medication (gin&tonic) and I was back on my feet.

I'm looking forward to playing these games. They look rad! Thanks Santa!