FAIRFAX, Va. — Casually explaining the urban legends to people who likely already know the truth, Christopher Doyle, a new resident of Fairfax, clarified that nothing really happens at Bunny Man Bridge on Halloween, sources confirmed Tuesday.

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Doyle, who just fucking got into town last month, wasted no time in sharing his views at a bar with others about the Bunny Man, a creepy urban legend that dates back to the early years of the 20th century.

“Yeah, there were a couple of inmates who basically escaped from an insane asylum, and one of them started hanging rabbit carcasses around this bridge,” Doyle loosely explained to locals who have suffered through tourists mindlessly visiting Colchester Overpass hoping to see the figure himself for years every October. “And then there was some nut in a bunny costume who ran around Fairfax scaring people with an axe back in the 70s.”

“Supposedly, around Halloween, you can even see rabbit carcasses hanging from nearby trees, but nobody ever sees anything,” he added. ”Nothing really happens. It’s all just a gimmick, really.”

Doyle concluded his unsolicited lecture by informing everyone that the facts on the legend, including accounts of an insane asylum, are all unverified, but did admit that the legend probably influenced the film Donnie Darko to some degree.

The Bunny Man himself would be a fan of our online store if he were here today, so you should be a fan too.