The Bad Commentator's One-Sentence Guide to Every Character



Mario: "Well Ally says he's not top 5 so"



Luigi: "Have you seen ConCon wow how he does he even mash that fast"



Peach: "Did you see that 0-death on Twitter"



Bowser: "All he needs is a grab"



Yoshi: "I hear Sky is actually the best Yoshi"



Rosalina: "What (opponent) has to do is he's got to get rid of Luma"



Bowser Jr.: "Who plays this character other than Tweek?"



Wario: "He just has to build up/land Waft"



Donkey Kong: See Bowser



Diddy Kong: "Banana into imagination is a true combo"



Game & Watch: "If he went for a 9 there it would have been so hype"



Little Mac: "I feel like this matchup is bad because you just get Mac offstage"



Link: (Bomb recovers) "OH MY GOD HOW DID HE LIVE WOW"



Zelda: "Yeah Zelda's really bad because she just can't (thing she can do)"



Sheik: (Does literally anything) "Just Sheik things"



Ganondorf: (Does optimal safe edgeguard) "THE DISRESPECT"



Toon Link: "Bomb Fair should kill now"



Samus: "Guys why is Zero Suit Samus stronger than Power Suit Samus like LOL"



Zero Suit Samus: (Gets safe, reliable, extremely common confirm into ladder/spike) "YOOOOOOOOOOOO"



Pit: "You know I think Pit is pretty honest"



Palutena: "Prince Ramen beat ZeRo"



Marth: "I think Marth wins this because if he gets a tipper"



Ike: "He fights for his friends amirite guys"



Robin: See Donkey Kong



Duck Hunt: "You know in Japan Duck Hunt is high tier"



Kirby: "Thing about this matchup is if Kirby copies (B move) it's actually pretty scary"



King Dedede: "His use of Gordos on the ledge is really good"



Meta Knight: "Meta Knight can do some crazy things have you seen him versus Peach"



Fox: "But Fox is honest amirite yukyukyuk"



Falco: "Man if only he had his (thing from Brawl/Melee)"



Pikachu: "ESAM thinks he's top 5 man hashtag ESAM opinions amirite"



Charizard: "I don't agree with letting him go to Duck Hunt/Dream Land/Battlefield/Town & City because if he gets an up throw on the platform"



Lucario: "You can't count out Lucario I mean this is basically even"



Jigglypuff: "If he went for a rest there it would have been so hype"



Greninja: "Why did they nerf Greninja man like come on"



R.O.B.: See Robin



Ness: "Rosalina versus Ness is the worst matchup in the game"



Falcon: *random screaming*



Villager: "Isn't it weird when Villager kills you with an axe like he looks so innocent but then he's like a serial killer lol"



Olimar: "You can actually reflect his Smash attacks"



Wii Fit Trainer: "We got John Numbers the Nintendo world champion here"



Shulk: Literally anything



Dr. Mario: "Looks like Mario decided to go to college and get his degree"



Dark Pit: "He's going edgy Pit for this matchup"



Lucina: "I think Marth is better because if he gets a tipper"



Pac-Man: "Is that a flan"



Mega Man: "Alright we got lemons coming out here"



Sonic: "Get ready we're gonna be here a while"



Mewtwo: "Mewtwo is so good since the buffs I mean that (thing he had pre-buffs) is so strong"



Lucas: "What should we call Lucas's Hoo-Hah guys"



Roy: "Our boy amirite guys"



Ryu: "He's definitely in Shoryu kill percent"



Cloud: "He has limit on deck"



Corrin: "Female Corrin is the best Corrin"



Bayonetta: (Witch Twists at 0%) "IS THIS IT"



Miis: "To be honest I have no idea what this character does like is this even legal"

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