Last week, I came across a bit of news that was truly depressing.

No, it was not about India’s show in the Olympics. Neither was it about Aishwarya Rai’s weight. It was something more depressing.

Uday Chopra is apparently dating Nargis Fakri these days.

Those who have watched Rockstar would know who Nargis Fakhri is. Fans of her smoldering hot looks called her ‘Duck Face’ and those who weren’t impressed by her acting called her something that rhymes closely.

But no matter what your opinion, you cannot deny that Nargis Fakhri is undeniably hot.

Which now brings us to the topic of Uday Chopra.

It must be a great pressure to be Uday Chopra. Like Sachin Tendulkar’s son having the cricketing skills of Dodda Ganesh. Son of one of the biggest directors in the industry, family that owns one of the largest ‘camps’ and produces a slew of films every year, younger brother to Aditya Chopra, director of one of the biggest hits in the history of Hindi cinema. It must be tough.

It hasn’t been for want of trying, though.

Exactly, a decade back, Uday Chorpa stormed into our lives and on to our nerves, and quickly got under our skins. If failure is the pillar to success, Uday Chopra was on the way to building a magnificient Hampi Temple with his body of work.

Here is a walk-through of his work.

Ladies and Gentlemen, kindly leave your footwear outside and step in.

Thank you.

Mohabbatein: Directed by Aditya Chopra after the humungous success of DDLJ, Mohabbatein was set to be the next blockbuster of the decade. Boasting of a cast that included Amitabh Bachan, Shah Rukh Khan, and Aishwarya Rai, the film also had six youngsters who find love and happiness thanks to the almighty powers of their music teacher Shah Rukh Khan. Even though he doesn’t hold the violin correctly, he teaches the students enough to learn that music is about falling in love, and falling in love is what life is all about.

Mohabbatein was also the debut of a young Uday Chopra. Even though many people saw him on the poster and went “Mohabbat! Aein??”, it was to be the launch vehicle for the son of the Chopra clan.

But it didn’t take long to notice that acting was neither in his jeans, nor the T-shirt he took off at regular intervals.

The film didn’t perform as well as expected, but Uday was hopeful of a better showing with the next film.

Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai: His next release was a love triangle that went under the title ‘Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai’. Inspired from the hit ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ – the filmmakers didn’t even bother to change the title.

Starring Uday Chopra, Jimmy Shergill and Tulip Joshi, the film had Uday playing the hero’s best friend, who until she sits on the shaadi ka mandap, doesn’t realise that her heart truly beats for her best friend and not her lover. The film sank. Tulip withered, Jimmy vanished so much into the oblivion that people still play the song “Jimmy, Jimmy. Aaja Aaja” in front of his house in the morning to taunt him. But Uday Chopra soldiered on.

Charas: His next film was ‘Charas: A Joint Effort’. Not many understood the word play in the titling there, but almost everyone understood that the film had nothing much to offer. It was the time when romantic comedies were seeing a decline in success rates, and the film, dealing with subjects like drug cartels in Manali, failed because of some lame acting by its cast. The chief villain, Irrfan Khan, however would go on to become an actor of repute in the years to come.

But Uday Chopra would strive on, carving yet another spectacular pillar on the way to his Temple.

Mujhse Dosti Karoge?: Fresh after the intergalactic success of Koi Mil Gaya, Hrithik Roshan and Kareena Kapoor got together again, even though the harrowing yaadein of their earlier film had barely been erased from our minds. Hrithik Roshan and Kareena Kapoor got together with Rani Mukherjee to star in a film about love and friendship. Uday Chopra got in through Management Quota, filling the space of the good guy who sacrifices his love so that the film can get over and people can go home.

Uday Chopra is paired with Rani Mukherjee, but alas! the fates work against him. Rumours of Aditya Chopra’s affair with Rani have begun to float, leaving brother Uday with nothing but a large heart to show. And he showed more than just a large heart in his next film.

Dhoom:

Touted to be the relaunch of the Chopra son, the Indian version of Fast and Furious turned out to be Miscast and Dubious, with Chopra playing a racer who helps a cop who never catches the culprits.

Some of the lameness of the film was shared by Abhishek Bachhan and John Abraham, and the slow-motion shots and loud background score. The highlight of the film was Uday Chopra’s pairing with Esha Deol, who looked so feminine that the two of them reminded viewers of Jai and Veeru.

The film, however, was a huge hit, and Chopra’s career got a shot in the arm.

Dhoom 2: The second installment had Uday Chopra playing the same guy, with Bipasha Basu as his partner. In a masterstroke of scripting, Abhishek Bachhan and Uday Chopra travel to Brazil to catch the most dreaded thief in the world. But upon seeing his love, Bachhan decides to forgive him. Just Like That. He comes back home empty-handed, in the process waving a huge middle finger to things like laws, work ethics, and accountability to senior officials. The film didn’t do much for Uday Chopra’s standing in the industry, though.

Uday Chopra had the customary song in the film, and nothing much apart from the usual goofing around. This film, again, was a huge hit, but saying that it was because of Chopra is like giving Sharad Pawar the credit for India’s World Cup victory.

Pyar Impossible: Paired with Priyanka Chopra, the only good thing about the film was the realistic title it had. The story of a geek who falls in love with the class chick and is heartbroken, only to come back into her life seven years later after inventing the world’s greatest Operating System which gets stolen when his enemy copies it from his Pen Drive (I’m serious).

When I first saw the trailer of Pyar Impossible, I chuckled at the sheer arrogance with which the producers went ahead to make a film from a story that was written by Uday Chopra. Before the release of the film, Karan Johar, India’s BIS Halmark on everything to do with Family and Morals, had this to say about the film,

“It has a subliminal message which is delivered without preaching to a world where people are very physically oriented.”

A team of experts translated the statement into layman terms, and it read something like this:

“I watched the film. It sucks donkey balls. Now someone please pass the Cocaine!”.

Uday Chopra’s wet dream of being a star pretty much dried up after Pyar Impossible flopped. He was no where to be seen or heard, except when people would crack a few jokes.

Teacher: “Give me an example of an Oxymoron.”

Student: “Uday Chopra…LOL”

You almost felt bad for the guy. He tried his best, trying to be a romantic hero, action hero, and comic hero. And each time, ending up as a tragic hero. In spite of all his attempts, the fact that he had all the charm of a water buffalo, worked against him.

The last I heard of him was in a news article, where he told the reporter that he was having a great time at Las Vegas. In fact, just the previous night, he had been kicked out of a bar for taking off his shirt. In response, Uday said, “I was just trying to impress a chick.” (Link).

He also announced that Dhoom 3 was to be his swan song, he would retire from acting after its release. May be concentrate on film making and return to haunt the industry after a break of a few years.

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Everything was fine till this story surfaced in a column in the newspaper. That Uday Chopra was dating Nargis Fakhri.

I mean, that’s simply not done, man.

Dear Uday Chopra, we as a nation have been kind and tolerant with you.

We have paid money and willingly subjected ourselves to you. We don’t mind if you continue to make films. Reboot it as Mere yaar ki teesri shaadi hai. Release Dhoom – 27. Write and act in Pyar Impossible – 4, like the other franchise with the similar name. We wouldn’t mind in the least.

But, you dating Nargis Fakhri is simply unfair. It’s a cruel reminder to us, of how ordinary our lives are, and how unfair the world is.

After all those films, is this how we are repaid?