The dinner raises money for Catholic charities. | REUTERS Obama, Romney best Al Smith jokes

President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney both spoke at Thursday night’s Al Smith dinner in Manhattan which raises money for Catholic charities. Here are some of their best lines:

Obama:


“I felt really well rested after the nice long nap I had in the first debate.”

“Everyone please take your seats, or else Clint Eastwood will yell at them.”

“In less than three weeks, voters in states like Ohio, Virgina and Florida will decide this incredibly important election. Which begs the question, what are we doing here?”

“I particularly want to apologize to Chris Matthews. Four years ago, I gave him a thrill up his leg. This time around, I gave him a stroke.”

( PHOTOS: 12 funniest Al Smith Dinner jokes)

“Early today, I went shopping at some stores in midtown. I understand Gov. Romney went shopping for some stores in midtown.”

“Of course, the economy is on everybody’s minds. The unemployment rate is at its lowest level since I took office. I don’t have a joke here. I just thought it’d be useful to remind everybody that the unemployment rate is at the lowest it’s been since I took office.”

Romney:

“I was actually hoping the president would bring Joe Biden along this evening, ‘cause he’ll laugh at anything.”

“As President Obama surveys the Waldorf banquet room, with everyone in white tie and finery, you have to wonder what he’s thinking: so little time, so much to redistribute.”

“He knows how to seize a moment, this president. And already he has a compelling new campaign slogan: you’re better off now than you were four weeks ago.”

“Usually when I get invited to gatherings like this, it’s just to be the designated driver.”

“By the way, in the spirit of Sesame Street, the president’s remarks tonight are brought to you by the letter O and the number 16 trillion.”

“My job is to lay out a positive vision for the future of the country, and their (the press) job is to make sure no one else finds out about it.”