2 We Have Reason to Be Suspicious of the Government

The idea that the U.S. would use mandatory vaccinations to push some other, more sinister agenda is as laughable to most people as the idea of Bush orchestrating 9/11 to get us into Iraq. As South Park pointed out, the government simply isn't well-oiled enough to pull off some grand false flag operation. What it is able to do, however, is fuck up in such a splendid way that it intentionally harms its own citizens and then covers it up like a child hiding a dead goldfish under the mattress.

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"You flush that down the toilet like the mutant gators the CIA created right now!"

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See, the unfortunate reason that conspiracy theories are so hard to shake is that ... well ... sometimes they can be true. The United States government might decide to jizz a cloud of some thought-to-be-harmless microbes over San Francisco in order to test chemical warfare tactics, only to discover the the microbes weren't so harmless after all when 11 people get infections (resulting in one death). Yes. That's a thing that happened back in the 1950s, and it's just one of the many times our government has pulled a Three Stooges act where we were the face receiving the pie. Pies like the two hydrogen fucking bombs the US Air Force accidentally dropped on North Carolina back in 1961. That happened -- the only thing preventing the four-megaton bombs from giving the East Coast a deadly Dutch oven was a single low-voltage switch that could have easily failed.