I stopped playing mobile games that weren’t by Nintendo when it became clear that most games on phones don’t actually function under the circumstances you want them most, or when I do at least, which is on planes. I’ve had this policy for a while now and I’ve been well served by it. Even games you wouldn’t think would necessarily be stymied by a lack of data join this dark fraternity of useless lures.

I didn’t really give a shit about Apple Arcade at first; like I said Wednesday, this is just the phase of play we’re in and only once ninety-nine percent of these things fuckin’ die will we be able to figure out what any of it means. But once it became clear that the whole kit and kaboodle was five dollars - if anybody else is thinking about this kind of thing, by the way, five dollars is the correct amount to ask me for - and the games would be games, that is to say, they would not be a “game” made and then detonated, to be sold as bulk-bin scoops of entertainment shrapnel forever, the pieces never somehow resulting in a whole. These games wouldn’t require an Internet connection because they were creatures entire. I don’t even use an iPhone anymore, but I’d consider a swap if they’re gonna drop fucking crazy shit like they have going in this list. That list is from Cnet. Did you know there was still a Cnet? Good for them, you know? Crazy kids.

No streams from me today because we’re filming the rest of our Vampire: The Masquerade collaboration, Seattle By Night. Curious? Watch this space.

The image below goes to a place where you can preorder a shirt with that design on it! You heard right: our friend Tony Touch is returning as our Artist In Residence next week, and we have a limited time pre-order shirt to celebrate. Want to see the kind of shit our boy gets up to? Check out his Instagram, and come back for the streams on the 19th and 20th to see live tattoo and graffiti work done.

(CW)TB out.