Jon Gray stood alone in a corner of the visitors clubhouse at Chase Field in Phoenix. Though he had showered and dressed, he couldn’t wash away the hurt of his awful performance in the Rockies’ season-ending, 11-8 wild-card playoff loss to the Arizona Diamondbacks.

In the biggest game of his career, Colorado’s 25-year-old right-hander faltered, the Diamondbacks ripping him for four runs on seven hits. He recorded just four outs, the shortest start of his big-league career and the shortest postseason start in Rockies history.

From across the room, center fielder Charlie Blackmon, his hair and beard still matted by game sweat, spotted Gray. Blackmon walked over to Gray and embraced him. This was not a typical “bro hug.” It was a long embrace, 30 seconds or more, with Blackmon whispering intently into Gray’s ear.

“I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I meant everything I said,” Blackmon recalled. “I know I told Jon that there was no one we wanted more on the mound to start that game than him. He deserved to be out there.

“He was thinking the loss was all his fault, but I told him that we were all to blame, myself included. If I had gotten one key hit, the game might have been different. I also told him that he would win a lot of big games for us down the line.”

Gray soaked up every word.

“It was exactly what I needed to hear — when I needed to hear it — after a game like that,” Gray said recently. “Chuck’s a great teammate, one of the best, and for him to do that meant a lot to me. It helped me then and it will help me get better in the future, I’m sure.”

If the Rockies are to improve and become more than a one-and-done playoff team, Gray must make a giant leap forward. If he wants to evolve into a true ace, he needs to embrace the big moment, not be overwhelmed by it. He understands the challenge.

“An ace is a guy who is almost guaranteed to win every game, like (Clayton) Kershaw,” Gray said. “But not every team has that guy. I mean, maybe only seven or eight really do. But that’s the goal, and that’s where you want to be.

“I’m not there yet, I know that. I was really happy with my consistency this year, but I don’t think my pitches had the movement they did last year. I think if I can combine those things, I do have a chance to reach that level.”

Overall, manager Bud Black was thrilled with Gray’s 2017 regular season, which ended with a 10-4 record and a 3.67 ERA. Related Articles Dodgers’ Clayton Kershaw stumps Rockies in 6-1 Colorado loss at Coors Field

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“In August and September, Jon was one of the best pitchers in baseball statistically,” Black said. “He was really throwing the ball well. Physically, he was in a great place.”

Still, Black admits he wasn’t quite sure what to expect from Gray in the wild-card game.

“You don’t know how a player is going to react in those big games, and for Jon, this was the first one. It was the biggest game Jon had pitched in in his life,” Black said. “I do know that life is made up of experiences, and as it relates to baseball and Jon’s career, I know this is something he can draw from, moving forward, when he’s pitching in these types of games in the future.”

Gray felt strong and confident before taking the mound against the Diamondbacks. But once he was on the mound, the enormity of the moment seemed to shake him. The sellout crowd of 48,803 was loud and rowdy, the Diamondbacks’ lineup was formidable and the weight of Colorado’s first playoff game in eight years was heavy.

“I definitely know now that it’s far different than a regular game,” Gray said. “The atmosphere changes and it’s a lot tougher than it looks. It’s so much harder to stay in the element and just pitch. Your tempo is harder to find because there is so much energy.

“What I learned, I think, is that if you can find a way to harness all of that energy, it can be a positive thing.”

Leading up to the playoff game, Gray had put up ace-like numbers. He allowed three or fewer earned runs in 13 starts to end the season, going 7-3 with a 2.64 ERA and 80 strikeouts vs. just 16 walks during that span.

Gray admitted, however, that the fluid delivery and the pitch command he showed during the regular season was hindered by the tension he felt in his short playoff stint.

“Everything felt great and I thought I had a good game plan,” he said. “But then in that first inning, I was out there and I thought, ‘Wow, I’m really tensing up right now.’ ”

Gray said he felt something similar in his first start for the University of Oklahoma, but that didn’t compare to the nerves he felt at Chase Field last month.

The results were ugly. David Peralta singled on an 88.5 mph slider, followed by Ketel Marte’s single off a 96.5 mph first-pitch fastball. Up to the plate stepped Paul Goldschmidt, the Diamondbacks’ all-star first baseman and National League MVP candidate. Goldschmidt was worthless during the regular season vs. Gray, going 0-for-11 with five strikeouts. But when Gray threw a fat, 80.3 mph, first-pitch curveball, Goldschmidt was ready, crushing the hanger for a three-run homer.

“None of my off-speed pitches were in a good spot,” Gray said. “When Goldschmidt hit that homer, I was like, ‘That’s not the way you want to start out.’ ”

Gray promises he won’t forget his difficult night at Chase Field, and he vows to learn from it.

“That’s what I have to do, or otherwise the experience won’t do me any good,” he said. “I’m glad I got the opportunity to go through that, because I know we’ll be there again. So I put that one back in my memory bank, take what I can from it and move on.”

Black agreed.

“Jon has been very up front and honest about what happened that night,” Black said. “He’s confronted it head on and I’m proud of how he handled that aftermath. He’s going to grow from this experience.”

Gray matter

A look at Jon Gray’s 2017 regular season:

Statistics

Overall: 10-4, 3.67 ERA, 112 strikeouts, 30 walks, 1.30 WHIP

Home: 5-1, 3.13 ERA, 41 strikeouts, 13 walks, 1.22 WHIP

Road: 5-3, 4.06 ERA, 71 strikeouts, 17 walks, 1.35 WHIP

Pitch type, usage, speed

Four-seam fastball … 57.2 percent …. 96.3 mph

Slider … 27.7 percent … 89.7 mph

Curveball … 13.8 percent … 80.2 mph

Changeup … 1.3 percent … 87.1 mph

* Source: Fangraphs







