Top 7 Bullshit Booze Gadgets

Do you belong to the people who have more money than common sense? This list if for you.

Whisky Bullets

Because, let’s be honest, there is nothing quite like pointy stainless steel objects hitting your teeth and the rim of your glass.

And, of course, this is the only acceptable method for NRA members to cool down their whisky.

The Chilling Sip Stick

“Any alcohol aficionado will attest that ice cubes melting into your cup of 20-year-old Scotch will put a big frown on your face.”

Wiser words have never been spoken. I very much prefer to sip my 20-year-old Scotch from a straw with a built-in cooling panel. And it’s even self-rechargeable, whatever that may mean.

The Sonic Foamer

Any beer drinker will know this problem. The beer in your glass just doesn’t go stale quickly enough.

But now you can speed up the process by letting it foam up again for any sip you take. The wonders of ultrasonic sound waves working their magic… And the sleek design will grace your table with an aura of sophistication .

The Fizzics Beer Pourer

Too lazy to pour yourself a beer from a bottle or a can? Let the Fizzics Revolutionary Beer System do the job for only $164.99.

The machine uses the same ultrasonic technology as the Sonic Foamer to help you get rid of that pesky carbon dioxide, and it even does it with oscillations. Works best with Hefeweizen.

The Deluxe Whisky Travel Kit

Should you be in a position to have C$230 burning a hole into your pocket, you may just as well spend them on 6 sample bottles, 2 Glencairn glasses, 2 water droppers, a leather bag, a pourer, a pencil and a notebook.

The Levitating Cup

Nothing says that you’re too cool for this planet like having your drink hovering in front of you.

You don’t care that this is only a cheap magnet trick instead of superconductive quantum locking. After all the cup is so classy that it’s made from ultra-lightweight faux-glass. And isn’t it stuff like this that Kickstarter was invented for?

The Somabar Robotic Bartender

Wifi-connected and app-controlled, the internet of things finally has conquered the world of cocktails.

By spending $429 on this contraption you can make sure that your drinks will never be mixed over ice again. As a bonus you will be able to enjoy the first sugar-free old-fashioned.