Written by: Dave Owen

Bottles contained ‘other human waste’ and were carefully resealed

Ah, to hurry through the Blackpool mist after a long day of work, slip into one’s best smoking jacket, settle in front of a crackling log fire, and sup a cool glass of whiskey. There are few finer pleasures. But wait… does this tipple taste unusually tangy to you?

If you bought your latest bottle of whiskey from a random man on the street, you might want to pour it down the sink (and re-evaluate your life choices). Your unlicensed vendor may have been Nicholas Stewart, who has just been sentenced to 70 days in prison after he admitted to selling coloured urine as whiskey.

Ew. And it gets worse.

The bottles were confiscated by security staff when Stewart was caught trying to flog his bodily wares on Blackpool Promenade, a popular visitor destination. While some bottles contained nothing more offensive than flat cola, others contained “water laced with urine and faeces probably to give the so-called whiskey colour,” according to Blackpool Council prosecutor Victoria Cartmell.

So, to add insult to injury, it wasn’t even single malt.

Stewart used empty Jack Daniels bottles to hold his excretions, and managed to reseal them so effectively that members of the public couldn’t tell they had been so disgustingly tampered with.

Whatever the contents of the bottles, any duped customers were at least guaranteed to get pissed.