Scrappage schemes are back. And you thought they’d been and gone in the late 2000s. Last time such an incentive gripped the nation, the UK government had the good honesty to reveal every single car destroyed under the scheme, designed to kick-start the British auto sector by offering punters £2,000 to trade in their old bangers for shiny new metal.

But, after a quick glance through the list of nearly 400,000 giffers that bit the dust, TG felt the need to lie down in a quiet room and have a cry.

Principally because it reveals there are people in the world who believe a BMW 635 CSI deserved to be destroyed permanently. Sure, we can understand the old Vauxhall Novas and the Daihatsu Terioseses and the Fiat Cinquecentos and even the 492 BMW 318s, but an Alfa Romeo Spider?

For the love of all that’s holy, what possessed you people to bin four CAPRI LASERS, over forty Ford Escort Mexicos and a Lancia Fulvia? Shame on you.

Our anger is compounded by some of the classifications on the official document, which have led to much fevered scratching of heads. Particularly the entry ‘VOLVO BMW 7 SERIES’. Or the ‘VOLKSWAGEN PROTON PERSONA MERIDIAN’, so the numbers that follow in this gallery must be taken with a pinch of salt.

Even so, meet 20 victims of the 2009 scrappage scheme that really, really didn’t deserve to die.