(A/N: Thesis work and money issues don't make for a good writing environment. Writing an hour of a day does)

Into a mire of muck and sludge, a pale young boy ran. For what was left in his life's hourglass was nearly empty, and the sand collected was not but a handful.

In spite of the fever that burned away at his lungs and the exhaustion that threatened to overtake his legs, he ran. For he knew if he stopped for even a moment, Death itself would be upon him. With tears streaming down his face and knees buckling from their labor, the boy was about to surrender to his fate when he heard a song that called on him to outrun his end.

*Mmmmmm, mmm mmmm, mmmmmmmm, mmm mmm mmmm, mmmmmm..."

Now, the singer was a creature with the biggest mouth the boy had ever seen. "Excuse my song," the monstrous siren said. "The tune's purpose was your attention, for I knew you had troubles and I can offer absolutions."

The pale child could hear the padding of hooves in the distance and immediately began crawling over to the hulking creature.

"Please, can you save me from my fate?" The boy clasped his hands together, pleading with the large mouthed monster. The monstrous beast gave a malevolent chuckle as he grabbed the child by the shoulder.

"Boy, the river flows towards its destination with unmatchable swiftness and I'm the River King. Ain't nothin' in this world that I can't catch when I set to navigating it, and ain't nothin' in this world that can catch me.

"And the price? Well, that's a minuscule thing. You see, my tastes are fine and my friends are many. I've sat at every table, drank it all and ate it all. Ain't no thing I ain't had but one, and those things I ain't had...oh, for them - now, I've got a cravin' .

"A feast with Death, now that's a meal that would surely satisfy." The monster licked his lips and exposed his rows of mismatched and crooked teeth as he gave a low, hoarse chuckle. "So I need men like yourself to bring them in."

Now the youth cared not for anything but his time, and if this monster was seeking to turn its gaze on Death… it seemed too easy a price.

"If that's the price of your ticket, then I will gladly pay it."

And before another word was spoke, the monster snapped him up. As the River King heard the sounds of cloven hooves approaching, he let out a hoarse laugh and fled into the murky waters.

The chase went on like that for several days. The monster would appear out from one of the world's many rivers and take his time, waiting for his quarry to catch up before he'd flee again. Each time ended like the last with no exception, no matter how hard Death tried to catch the River King. If they ran straight for him, he'd make his escape. If they tried to sneak up on him, he'd make his escape. If they tried to corner himhe'd merely belt out a laugh, before making his escape.

Each time, the beast could feel the building agitation of his pursuers. Could feel the hot fury pouring off of one and hear the increasingly hurried hoofbeats of the other. Yet, the river's king baited his pursuers, drawing out the game of cat and mouse to his satisfaction until, finally, he found his time and place.

As the beast roared out from the water one last time, he took a look around his surroundings: a dark swamp, with plenty of places to hide a dying boy. With a satisfied nod, the demon unhinged his jaw and regurgitated his bait. The boy fell flatly onto the ground in front of the River King, still alive but unmoving. His skin had gone sheet white, his eyes clouded over and barely focused and his breath uneven and slow.

Stuck in a limbo between death and life, the boy's gaze slowly drifted over to the beast, as tears streamed down his face.

"Please, I made a mistake… this isn't what I wanted. Please, let me die…. I don't want to live like this." The boy weakly gasped out in between labored breaths. The beast merely gave the child a wicked grin as he hefted him up by the collar of his shirt and began dragging him over to a tree far off in the distance.

"Now child, I can't let you go and make a mistake like that. Especially now that we're so close to seeing our bargain through." The monster found a place to hide the boy amongst the trees and dropped him unceremoniously. "Now you just wait here, and I can promise you: Death ain't gonna be a problem for you soon."

The boy continued to whimper, even as he slumped against the tree. As he turned his head from the monster, the beast could not help but take in his aroma: the scent of a youth soon to be parted from his short life, of deep despair born from the most sincere and pained regret… and Death. It smelled so… so wonderful. So enticing. A feast worthy of the River King.

The River King shook his head slightly, his eyes regaining their focus as he looked down at the boy. "Easy now Tahm. No need to go spoilin' your appetite with such a meager side dish… after all." Tahm Kench licked his lips lightly as he turned from the boy, "The main course shall be arrivin' shortly."

Tahm strolled on a good distance from the child and got to waiting, knowing his quarry would catch up with him eventually. Death was nothing if not stubborn, after all. The River King didn't have to wait long for his pursuers, as the burst forth from the woods, stopping suddenly as they found their interloper, surprisingly, waiting for them.

Wool pure white and shining, even in a swamp as dark and dank as this. Eyes and gullet glowing with a ghastly blue light. A black wolf mask atop a pure wooly, white head. A white lamb mask atop a mass of black fur and teeth.

The Kindred. Lamb and Wolf. Death themselves had finally managed to catch Tahm Kench.

This fact seemed to put Lamb at ill ease, even as Wolf snarled.

"Lamb! This is the thief?! What is this that snatched our quarry?!" Wolf snarled as he wildly circled about Tahm Kench, the River King looking at Wolf's… abundant form.

"A being of pure consumption, dear Wolf. One whose life has only known and will only know hunger and seek only to sate its appetite." Lamb's even, melodic tone lacked the edge of Wolf's, as the light emanating from her mask's eyes peered at Tahm Kench. Rather than circle the River King, as was Wolf's want, Lamb stayed in front of the monster, her bow at the ready.

"Do I hunt it Lamb!? Shall I tear its flesh from its bones?!" Wolf snarled, snapping its jaws at Tahm Kench, the gargantuan beast merely chuckling under his breath as Lamb held up a hand.

"No, dear Wolf. This one is a being untouched by death. It is not ours to hunt." Lamb's even tone betrayed nothing of the frustration that was felt by her other half. "Though, this does beg a question; why is it that you have meddled in our hunt, beast? Why have you kept our quarry from Death?"

Tahm Kench placed a hand to his breast, looking quite wounded by Lamb's insinuation… or, at least, appearing to be.

"My dear Lamb, your accusation wounds me so. To dabble in Death's domain is not a task I would enter into lightly." The monster's face contorted into a grin as he straightened the flaps of his jacket. "But he has paid his passage, dear Lamb, so I am the boy's captain. His wish was that I guide him down the river away from his fate, and I am a kind beast - not unlike yourself - so I'll hold that boy's seat at the oars steady and true - true as any words I've ever spoken."

A wicked grin broke out on Tahm's face as he spoke, the mere sight of which caused Wolf to snarl and whip around the River King.

"We don't care! Where is our quarry?! Where have you hidden it?!" Wolf's agitation was plain as the nose on his face. Lamb's, while better hidden, was given away by the tightening of her grip on her bow. Yet despite this, Lamb turned her gaze to wolf and shook her head.

"Hold steady, dear Wolf." Lamb's head tilted to the side slightly, as she turned her gaze back to Tahm Kench. "What matter is it to Death whether the mortal bargained with you, beast?"

"Because where his ship goes, only the river knows, dear Lamb, but I'm the river's king." The monstrous catfish gave a wide grin as he spoke. "His toll was his, and now his toll is mine. So long as our bargain is kept, I'll keep ferrying him out of your grasp… from now until forever." Tahm Kench barked out a hoarse laugh as he stared Lamb down. Wolf and Lamb flinched at this, as both knew the truth behind the monster's words.

"Very well, demon. What shall be the price to relieve you of our prey's toll?"

"Lamb!?" Wolf rushed over to Lamb's side, clearly startled, as Tahm Kench's uneven teeth peeked out from between his lips in a wide, monstrous smile.

"His passage was steep, but kind Death has the wealth I seek. That boy paid his fare and so keeps his seat… but should gentle Lamb, known far and wide for compassion, decide to take his place at the oars, then that's a deal I would keep."

Lamb recoiled slightly taking a tentative step back away from the RIver King as Tahm just leered after her, a hungry look in his eyes.

"So I guess it's up to ya'll. Either I get Lamb, or this little hunt of ours continues for all time." Tahm Kench gave a low chuckle as his beady, yellow eyes narrowed in on Lamb. "So, tell me, what's it gonna be?"

There was no immediate answer. Lamb stared at Tahm Kench and though no expression made its way past Lamb's mask, her body language made it clear: the River King had stumped Death. This was no idle threat either: the Serpent Isles and their ilk could be contained, their actions against Death managed by mere fact of their isolation. The River King, however, had proven that he was fleet of foot enough to outpace death, even with a passenger. There was no way to keep him from repeating this over and over again, around the world, dealing a heavy blow to the balance of life and death.

However… to lose the merciful half of Death in order to sate a demon's appetite? Lamb's ears folded back at the thought, Wolf's head whipping between Tahm Kench and Lamb.

"I know it's an important decision Lamb, but we both have places to go and people to meet, I'm sure… perhaps the very same people, now that I think about it." The monstrous catfish taunted Death, a deep, guttural laugh echoing out into the swamp as he licked his lips. "So I'll be needin' ya'll to make a decision on this-"

"Take me instead!" Lamb and Tahm turned to look at Wolf, the merciless half of death snarling at the monstrous siren as it jumped in between Lamb and it. "You want to devour half of death for the boy? Take me then! Lamb is not but chewy bones and words!" Wolf viciously whipped about as Lamb reached out a hand to try to reign her other half in.

Tahm Kench gave a low chuckle as he looked at the two. Ridiculous. Lamb was the feast he sought: the despair felt the world over by the loss of merciful death would be the perfect seasoning on this feast. Sure, Wolf was so much larger than Lamb, but that hardly matter. Hardly mattered that Wolf was even larger than Tahm himself. Hardly mattered that he was full of meat and muscle… his teeth coated in the suffering of those poor saps dumb enough to try to outrun Death. Viciousness and anger turned out at all others since Runeterra first began turning, made null and void by a Death suddenly facing the helplessness it fostered on others… a feast… a grand feat, on such a large scale… worthy of the River King.

Tahm Kench salivated wildly, sense departing the monstrous catfish as he licked his lips. He was barely even aware of Lamb trying to dissuade her worse half, as Tahm Kench waved her off.

"Now now, dear Lamb… don't be so hasty. Dear Wolf here is being quite brave, offerin' himself up insteada you." Tahm Kench licked his teeth. "Quite brave indeed. Very well Wolf. I'll accept your offer: you take the boy's place at the oars instead of Lamb, and I'll tell your delightful other half where the boy is." Tahm Kench raised a single, fat finger and beckoned Wolf over with it.

Tahm Kench knew this was the right decision when, as Wolf floated on over, he watched Lamb reach out her hand to her other half, shaking slightly as she shook her head. That mask may have held no expression, but Tahm Kench knew that song and dance all too well. Wolf would've been angry, would've been furious as he ate Lamb. However, now, as Wolf meandered on up to the River King, he could feel the palpable regret and despair wafting off of Lamb, off of Death itself.

This seasoning would truly make this meal special.

Wolf snarled at Tahm Kench as he approached, his form coiling up as he approached the monstrous siren. The River King just gave a great laugh as, within mere feet of him, the demon unhinged his jaw and lunged for Wolf, Death's violent half recoiling back in surprise as Tahm Kench set about devouring him. Lamb's grip on her bow tightened as she pulled the weapon back to her chest, taking a step back from the scene as Tahm Kench's teeth ripped and teared through Wolf.

For a moment, all was well and Tahm Kench… well, Tahm Kench was experiencing nothing less and complete and total bliss. He would never have a meal as good as this again, he was sure. The feeling of fullness that was sure to come after; he'd remember it for as long as he'd live.

As the River King loudly chewed over his meal, the gluttonous demon could feel Wolf thrashing about in his jaw. Fangs biting into the flesh of his mouth, tearing at his tongue and ripping at the walls of his gigantic mouth. Tahm Kench, caught up in the bliss of the taste, ignored the pain and the blood seeping from his mouth, trying to forcibly swallow his uncooperative meal in short order.

It was only when his Wolf gave a violent thrash about his mouth, forcing his jaw back open, that the River King snapped out of his bliss-induced haze. The violent avatar of Death snarled and roared as it bit and clawed at Tahm Kench's mouth, snarls and hisses echoing from the catfish's gaping maw as he tried to force his teeth to close around Wolf again. It wasn't to be, however, death's malevolent half lashed out at the River King's face, the demonic catfish giving a great roar of pain as Wolf freed himself, and set himself upon Tahm Kench's flesh. The demon gave a great bellowing roar as he set his jaws into Wolf's flesh, the two gluttonous beings tearing into each other in a desperate bit to devour the other Soon enough, the River King and the violent half of Death were a mess of roiling limbs, fangs and claws as they circled each other in a deadly dance of hunger and gluttony.

All the while, Lamb watched from the sideline in stunned silence, as merciful, cold, logical Death sought to make sense of the fight taking place before her. Before long, clarity struck and Lamb relaxed her grip on her bow. The River King's hunger was truly unique in all of Runeterra. Truly something to be feared. For the hunger of the demonic catfish could match even Death's.

But it could not surpass it.

After who knows how long, Lamb knelt down to the ground, looking for tracks. While the two forces of gluttony continued to try to devour the other, Lamb stood up, notched an arrow and skipped off.

Minutes later, still struggling, Tahm Kench came to the same realization as Lamb; he simply didn't have it in him to eat Wolf now, all at once. Desperate to end this struggle and get something out of it while he could, Tahm Kench pressed his hands against Wolf's form. With a great deal of effort, the River King finally pried Wolf from his corpulent form, taking deep, rasping breaths as he took a few cautious steps away from Wolf.

"Now see here Wolf, I think I may have been a bit, well, a bit over eager when I agreed to alterin' the deal on your behalf." Tahm Kench's body racked itself with bloody coughs as Wolf just stared him down, the monstrous catfish soon breaking out into a grin. "Much as I'd love to dine with you Wolf, I think I will just have to go ahead and settle myself with your better half. I'll tell ya where the boy is of course, true to our deal. After all, I am as good as my word, Lamb." Tahm Kench gave a short laugh as he quickly turned on his heels, preparing to devour Lamb where she stood.

Only to stop short as he realized that Lamb was no longer in her spot in the swamp, having completely disappeared from his sight. The River King's breathing hitched as he realized this, gritting his teeth at the loss of his prospective meal as he turned again to face Wolf. Once again, Tahm Kench found nothing, Wolf having disappeared just as his partner had. Tahm Kench gave long, rasping breaths as he stood there, rubbing away the blood from his encounter with Wolf as angry, yellow eyes darted about the swamp, trying to find any sign of the Kindred at all.

"WE HAD A BARGAIN, KINDRED! YA'LL CAN'T BACK OUT OF IT SO EASILY!" The monstrous siren roared at the top of his lungs, his scream echoing throughout the swamp. Tahm Kench, through many labored breaths, dusted off his coat and picked his hat up from the muck of the swamp. "Fine! I don't need you two! I'll just help myself to my little friend here! You won't take this boy's toll?! Then I'll just have to collect!"

Tahm Kench was furious, angrier than he had ever been in all of his years of existence. He had missed out on the meal of a lifetime and instead had to settle for some paltry affair of a dead boy who wanted a little more time. A pathetic step back from the small taste of perfection he had been teased with. It wouldn't be satisfying, but at least the River King wouldn't be left empty handed.

However, as Tahm Kench sauntered on back to the spot where he had hidden the boy, he was met with a sight that made his blood boil.

An empty spot by the tree, with naught but an arrow-shaped hole left in the bark.