One of the most striking features of Conservative Discourse is how much of it badly, dumbly mimics antiquated academic research. By which I mean, an immense proportion of what "conservatives" produce in the name of "commentary" constitutes cod-sociological studies of that Dangerous Alien Tribe, homo liberalicus Americanus. Their conclusions are astonishing, not to mention pretty frickin' hilarious, at least when not appallingly offensive; but what I'm getting at is that the mode of their inquiries is more telling than the idiocy of their findings. Which is to say, they don't know how crazy they are.

Dennis Prager, to the microscope please.

One of the major differences between the right and the left concerns the question of authority: To whom do we owe obedience and who is the ultimate moral authority? For the right, the primary moral authority is God (or, for secular conservatives, Judeo-Christian values), followed by parents. Of course, government must also play a role, but it is ultimately accountable to God and it should do nothing to undermine parental authority. For the left, the state and its government are the supreme authorities, while parental and divine authority are seen as impediments to state authority.

This is not actually an attempt to understand or explain anything; it's an assertion that Liberals Hate God, and also Parents.

It's fairly easy to demonstrate that this is all childish crap, as far as understanding how anything actually works goes. First, God. There exists, one might have noticed, considerable disagreement about this Personage and what this Personage enjoins humanity to do. Hell, some of us don't think this Personage even exists! But, well, we're all stuck in this wacky country together. So, we agreed, whatever we believe about prayer & so forth, let's all just stop at the red lights so we don't crash our cars. I suppose you might say there's a specifically "Judeo-Christian" element to not enjoying random car accidents, but my Musselman, Hindoo, Druid, & Godless Swine pals all disagree, for some reason.

From an immediately logical perspective, Prager's problem is that in his ideology, he can't conceive of The State as anything other than an alien, outside force... like his God, apparently. But, you know, this is an illiberal notion -- classically so! Le etat, c'est nous! For liberals, yes, "state authority" is the final word... after everyone has had their say in, like, an election.

Which I guess explains why "conservatives" are the ones liable to invoke God about a discussion of, like, the fucking capital gains tax. Or at least waterhead "conservatives" of the Prager class:

Let's begin with God. From Karl Marx -- "man is God;" "religion is the opiate of the people" -- to today's left in America and elsewhere, God and God-based religion, specifically Judaism and Christianity (Islam, too, but in the West, Islam has played little role) have been the primary obstacles to leftist victory.

This is what is called "bad historiography" in the sense that it commits the classic error of "issuing insanely broad theses that are indistinguishable from just making shit up."

That is why the further left a government or an ideology, the more it has opposed religion. The first targets of Lenin and Stalin were churches, synagogues and clergy. At the modern Western university, the epicenter of leftist ideology, the same has held true.

The Oberlin Archipelago: a testament to Human Endurance in the face of Having to take a Gen Ed Humanities Class.

But mama, here is where the fun is:

Another proof that it is leftism, not secularism, that animates the left's attacks on Judeo-Christian public expressions and influence on public policy is that when left-wing positions are enunciated by religious spokesmen, the left supports them. Clergy that are anti-war, "green" or for same-sex marriage, for example, are celebrated by the left. Many left-wing Jews and Christians believe in God. But the God that most leftists believe in is the same in name, not in characteristics. The God left-wing believers affirm is largely a non-judging God, a loving friend in heaven (or increasingly likely, in nature). He is found in trees much more than in moral demands.

Gosh.

Here is where I am confused.

I'm thinking of my father in law. He's retired, and spends all of his free time helping poor people in his parish do stuff like fix their plumbing. For vacations he goes on Catholic Worker missions to the rural poor & helps fix their houses. Similarly, my mom, who died last fall, was a highly intelligent & resourceful woman who spent the best part of her adult life working as a social worker at a palliative care hospital in the Bronx. Both: very religious. Both: leftist. Neither: worshiped or worship trees. (But who cares if they did anyhow? If your roof was leaking and you got help fixing it, or your mom was dying and you got help figuring out the nightmarish paperwork, why would you give a shit if your benefactor venerated willows? Or didn't?)

Which gets to the bone. Dennis Prager just called my mom a dupe and a fool -- she failed to believe in a judgmental God who is not a loving friend in heaven. Because she was a liberal. Pretty terrifying! For reasons I can't remotely fathom!

Actually I'm pretty sure my mom was impelled by a very clear sense of what the moral demands of her faith were -- care for those clearly in need and shut up about everything else, because you're not God.

In other words, work to make people's lives better, and let everything metaphysical take care of itself.

If this be "leftism," may God bless it. Or may your idol bless it. Or your rhododendron. Or your left nut. Or forget the damn blessings, and just go do it.

The dark humor of Prager's conclusion:

In a nutshell, the left wants to have ever-expanding authority over people's lives through ever-expanding governmental powers. It does so because it regards itself as more enlightened than others. Others are either enemies (the right) or unenlightened masses. It is elected by demonizing its enemies and doling out money and jobs to the masses.

How awful those leftists, "doling out money and jobs to the masses."

Sounds like a plan, truth be told. Let's get to it. That'll really stick it to our rightist demon enemies, who think the "masses" should NOT have jobs and money. As presumably the Right-wing God intended.

From Hell's heart, etc.



