When McDonald’s announced its Fully Loaded Fries, I thought it would be the end of KFC. After all, The Colonel has not served edible chicken since 2005 and original cheese fries is the only thing keeping the franchise afloat.

Who knew that you could bungle cheese fries so badly? You had one job, McDonald’s, and that was to squeeze cheese onto our potatoes. And you fucked it up. There was more toothpaste on my toothbrush this morning than there was cheese on your “cheese fries”. I guess the Nasi Lemak Burger’s viral success must have really gone to your head.

Verdict: 6 Train Breakdowns

(4) Presidential Election

Deep down, everyone knew that Halimah Yacob would eventually ‘win’, but we still enjoyed the illusion of choice, however fleeting. This election was like going to the cai png stall and watching the auntie throw away everything except the fish. It was still good fish, to be fair, but there was really no need to set the tofu on fire.

Verdict: 5 Train Breakdowns