My name is Jared Steinberg. My friends call me Jerry. I turned 13 this year, and my parents threw me an incredible Bar Mitzvah party.

At first I didn’t want a party. My parents don’t really have the same ideas I have about what’s fun and what isn’t. Generally speaking, if they think it’s fun, it isn’t. But I have to admit they booked a great party hall at this place called Grand Salon Reception Hall in Miami. They chose well. It’s an elegant place. It has class, like me.

My parents invited a bunch of my peeps, and had the sense to invite friends I actually like to hang out with. It’s a good thing the reception hall was big, because they invited a lot of folks, including family and people from our temple. They even invited Shelly Perez. You don’t know Shelly, but if you’ve ever seen a Cuban-Jewish Goddess, that’s her, softly looking demure and exotic at the same time, you know what I mean. The girl has been on my mind.

I’m not ashamed to say that one of the best Bar Mitzvah presents I got that day was a slow dance under dimmed lights- then a kiss on the lips- from Shelly. I think the DJ was doing me a favor. Not only did he pick the perfect slow dance for me and Shelly to get close to, he mixed it up. My parents danced, and their parents danced. The DJ even played a couple raps, and I could tell that my friends liked the music because they got out on the floor too!

The food was delish, and I think everyone ate too much! My parents took a lot of time to find just the right place with a kosher caterer. Boy was the food good. I mean, this place can throw down! We had lox and bagels, gefilte fish, matzo ball soup, kosher roasts, and great deserts. Anything we wanted to drink was available. My uncle kept drinking the wine, and I think my aunt got a little peeved. Anyway, this place even made the vegetables taste great.

I have to give my parents props for this one. For as long as I live, I will never forget my Bar Mitzvah party. When I grow up and have my own little Jerry, I want him to have the same memories I have from his Miami Bar Mitzvah too. I will do what my parents did-and book his party at Grandsalonreceptionhall.com. Mazel tov!