With this weeks premier of her latest show, It’s Okay That’s Love, I realized that this will be my 6th (!) Gong Hyo Jin drama. Which means I have spent more hours watching GHJ than either Lee Min Ho or Lee Seung Gi, though she still doesn’t top my apparent love affair with Ahn Suk-Hwan (UGH. 7 dramas!).

Truth is, whenever I choose a drama, my criteria is based on critical reaction and premise rather than the actors in question, which is why it’s rather amazing the streak GHJ has going on. To the best of my knowledge, her past six dramas have pretty much been critical or ratings successes (usually both), with zero “forgotten dramas”. She’s also worked with some of the dramaland’s best, and though I will be focussing on her male co-stars this time around, the creative talent should make anyone jealous considering she’s worked with Lee Kyung Hee (twice), the Hong Sister’s (twice), and now also reuniting with Noh Hee Kyung. Sounds like your typical bitchy diva who you’d never want to work with. (JK, she’s obviously amazing)

Warning: nothing but nonsense from here on out!

Fun fact: when you Google gong lovely (a similar name to what the press calls her), many pictures of Angela Lansbury come up. Somehow this makes sense to me.

So for a person as winning as she, her co-stars must be equally charming in order to keep up. Considering she’s worked with the most popular and well respected actors in Korea, how should one decide which stunningly attractive GHJ co-star is the bestest, fairest of them all? Well y’all in wake of the World Cup, tournaments to decide one’s fate are trending and all the rage. So what could be a better format then brackets and a fight to the death for one’s heart? Think Shrek the 1st with less dragons and more smoldering and manscaping. So let’s meet our contestants shall we?

Our most recent addition, who may be a new kid on the block when it comes to this exclusive band of GHJ faux lovers, but he’s certainly no newbie when it comes to romance. It’s contestant 14, whose goes by Jo In Sung (What Happened in Bali, That Wind the Winter Blows), but for these purposes will henceforth be called Ballies of Steel.

He will face off against his ole comrad/heated rival. Let’s hope for a better outcome than what transpired 10 years ago… Meet Contestant 13, So Ji Sub (Master’s Sun, What Happened in Bali). Codename: The Ethereal Man.

Our next pairing will begin with a fellow who knows a thing or two about the importance of cardio and facial hair, it’s Contestant 11! Codename: Heartstopper but you know him as Cha Seung Won (Greatest Love, City Hall).

His tasty opponent will be a formidable foe in looks, laughter and life, who will attempt to prove that he is fated to love Gong Hyo Jin. Meet our contestant #7, Codename: Bloodbath aka Jang Hyuk (Thank You, Chuno)

Our final pairing both arrived latte late, swearing they took the express(o) train but eventually had to be escorted by a coppa Joe to make it on-time. Luckily, they made a grand entrance including Korean indie blaring as they cooly walked into the building with their winning attitudes. But all these niceties better turn into game faces in order to have a chance for victory..

First up, We have a man who hates bloated noodles and Top 40 as much as he’s crazy about GHJ. Contestant 10, Lee Sun Gyun (Pasta, Coffee Prince), who you may also refer to as The Mafia Menace.

Which brings us to our final contestant, a man who makes everyone from soccer moms to tweenagers alike come together… by collectively dropping their 50 Shades of Grey/Twilight books and take in the magnificence, breath in the masculine sensitivity, and imagine the choco abs… It’s the one. The only. Perfection in human form……..Contestant 05…GONG YOO!(Biscuit Teacher Star Candy, Coffee Prince) Code Name: Star-k Raving Mad.

Now before we begin I’ve just been handed a letter stipulating my, “Completely objective presence as an MC/Announcer who in no way will show preference for the contestants and/or outcome.” Well that’s just silly, of course I have no bias for anyone, why would anyone think such a thing?

Well now that that is out of the way, let’s introduce tonight’s referee official. This gentleman just missed out on the chance to participate as a contestant in this tourney due to this universe’s 10 year statue of limitations on love, which expired just last year 😦 No matter, because who to better officiate than the man who has been co-star linked with her the longest… Is it getting overcast in here, because I think a Rain storm is about to hit, heyo! So yeah, Rain (Sangdo, Let’s Go to School, Colbert Report) is the ref, who will be making appearances (including a very special halftime performance) throughout out the show. Rain, why don’t you wave to everybody?

Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, let”s get down to business, but instead of defeating huns we will be breaking hearts in a Battle Royal for the OTP of all OTP’s. Let’s get started!!!

Round 1, Pairing 1: Contestants 14 and 13. Boys of Bali Showdown

Balies of steel (13) is coming in as the underdog, being inexperienced in the act of woo-ing Miss Gong. His first act is giving her two tickets to Japan..

Except So Ji Sub quickly counters with

And Rain calls it. So Ji-Sub wins! By showing sympathy for GHJ by adorning a fashionable sling, it pulls the heartstrings and somehow Gong Hyo Jin is magically healed #poweroflove. So Ji Sub moves on, while #14 doesn’t walk away empty handed. He received two tickets to….Japan? Ohh bad luck there, but perhaps you can exchange them for Bali, as I hear something happens there.

Round 1 Pairing 2: Heart 2 Heart (Cha Seung Won Vs Jang Hyuk)

One has severe heart complications which he often turns into metaphors while the other specialized in cardio-thoracic medicine aka the human heart. Both these fellows know the science of what makes a heart tick, but how about how it feels? Cha Seung Won begins by breaking out an Ipod and starts playing the National Treasure Girls song “Thump Thump.”

Omo, looks like he’s saying the song moves his heart and makes him think of her, and is showing the audience his heart monitor’s response! Oh wow, and oldie but goodie brava. Let’s see what Jang Hyuk has up his sleeve. Well it looks like a phone… and This Just In! Word is Dr. Hyuk has received an urgent call to Yeoul island where some lady with glasses is about to give birth! Guess the only kind of Doctor he isn’t is that of Doctor Love. Good luck with the birth Jang and looks like CSW is moving on.

Round 1 Pairing 3: The Coffee Princes (Lee Sun Gyun Vs. Gong Yoo)

This pairing has been described as the showdown of the night, though I don’t see it. One seems the obvious choice.. Oh right, anyways let’s hope this is a great match-up. Looks like the contestants are… talking with each other? Odd choice to begin, but let’s listen in shall we?

Gong Yoo: You and Gong hyo Jin are my best friends, why are we in this again?

Tu e Gong Hyo Jin siete i miei migliori amici, perché siamo in questo nuovo?

LSG: Someone Called out “Chef” so I ran over and then I was drugged with undercooked Pasta! Let’s bail.

Qualcuno gridò "Chef", così ho corse e poi mi è stato drogato con la pasta cotta! Facciamo cauzione.

Gong Yoo: Plus this show seems pretty sexist. Does my Gong in arms even get to choose who she wants?

Inoltre questo spettacolo sembra piuttosto sessista. Il mio Gong in armi anche arrivare a scegliere chi vuole?

LSG: Hey now, my character is a reformed misogynist so you don’t have to tell me twice. Let’s open a business in Italy!

Hey ahora, mi personaje es un misógino reformada por lo que no tienes que decírmelo dos veces. Vamos a abrir un negocio en Italia!

Oh my. Well we don’t have an Italian translator (though you do have a highlighter…), but we do know they’ve played characters that have went abroad in Italy to study the art of pasta and coffee making respectively…

Holy shrimp cakes, look who is motioning them from the audience. It’s none other then Italian adjacent Kobe Bryant. Sounds like he’s offering a contract to open a series of cafe’s in Rome, Cinqua Terre, and Florence. So now they are all walking out of the building. What a crazy turn of events, but it seems Lee Sun Gyun left GHJ a parting gift of his vast collection of scarfs. (Too bad it’s summer)

Meanwhile Gong Yoo has left a message for Gong Hyo Jin: Gong and Gong = BF’s forever GHJ! So come and visit me in Italy, where I’ll be waiting for you and a certain American girl… Wow is it suddenly getting hot in here or what. Think I need a minute..

And were back after the shocking conclusion to Round One, where we only have two contestants left with pairing number three joining NBA legend Kobe Bryant in the land of Meatballs and Ancient Civilizations. What could possibly happen next?

Wowza. Thanks for an absolutely absmazing performance!

Looks like were down to the final round. Let’s get started!

Final Round: Hong Kong (Gong) Cha Seung Won VS. So Ji Sub

Guess the Hong Sisters have a way with bringing Co-Stars together, with both of our contestants being alumni from their most recent works. Since Gong Hyo Jin likes being outdoors, the first part of this round will consist of an obstacle course set outside. As the “Gong” Gong goes off we see CSW use the bicycle in a devastatingly cool fashion

Meanwhile, So Ji Sub sees a ferry, and decides to save energy by taking it to next stage, where he individually reenacts dramatic scenes from his favorite films.

Looks like the battleground is set for the final task before we can crown a winner for GHJ’s affections. Hmmm that’s odd, for some reason it seems I can’t shake the smell of incense, and it’s only becoming more intensified. Whoa what the –

Lee Jin Wook?!? (Nine Times Time Travels, I Need Romance 2)

Mother of pearl, I don’t believe me eyes! Time travel hasn’t been seen in these parts since the 2012 dramaland season. Lee Jin Wook looks like a man with a mission who will not be denied! Now normally something like this would be against the rules, but according to our traversing time and space clause (sect. 12, article 8) this should be allowed. Let’s get the final verdict from Rain…

Sideways peace sign means all systems are go for Lee Jin Wook. Let’s see what he has up his sleeve.

So now the question looms to let LJW in her heart or stomp upon it if it were a frightful ghost?

We obtained secret footage of meetings between several close friends. Here is the written audio we shamelessly recorded:

“Hey it’s Bae [Doo Na], he seems like a fantastic man with the added bonus you two joining Jim [Sturgess] and I on double dates! The deep-cuts Beatles karaoke night was getting a little stale. I’ll support ya either way girl, and hey we still need to have our patented arts and craft beer night sometime soon!”

Unfortunately, we never heard back from GYJ’s reps, and our currently are very busy handling several lawsuits for breech of contract, breaking and entering, and overall paparazzi awfulness. Meaning I guess we’ll never know who Gong Hyo Jin’s true OTP is.

Oh well. Perhaps if our executive staff avoids jail time, season two could answer the question posed above. Until such a time I’d like to thank all the contestants and to our viewers, remember to stay gonelvy.

Which of her leading men do you think is the greatest/hottest? I know this is like pretty much Sophie’s Choice (except without all the death and holocaust horror. But still.)