Mark Nelson remembers when he had to stock shelves on a military base in Germany just to stay in the same country as the man who would become his husband.

Nelson, a labor and employment attorney, took a job in 2008 he was vastly overqualified for, working at a post exchange on the same Heidelberg base where his then-boyfriend, an army officer, was stationed. Back then, the US military did not recognize out gay and lesbian service – and it certainly did not recognize gay marriage.

That subjected LGBT military couples to the mercies of complex bureaucracies – and, in Nelson's case, visa, customs and immigration authorities – that never imperiled straight couples.

Nelson had overstayed his 90-day visa in Germany. If he told local authorities that he was in a same-sex couple, he might be allowed to stay.

But word might also spread through the tight-knit Heidelberg community, and Nelson's husband might be discharged from the army for being outed.

Job applications to dozens of companies went unreturned. To avoid returning on a new visa after crashing back in the States with his parents, Nelson managed to work on the army base in Heidelberg "by essentially being the stock clerk at the PX," he said. Later he was a cashier at the base arts and crafts store.

Now Nelson, like an untold number of other LGBT military spouses, will no longer have to jump through bureaucratic hoops like that. Less than two months after the US supreme court struck down a federal law defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman, the Pentagon on Wednesday unveiled a sweeping set of changes that extend to gay spouses the same benefits available to straight ones.

Military healthcare, housing allowances and retirement benefits can now be enjoyed by people for whom the Pentagon did not even begin to recognize until the end of "don't ask, don't tell" in 2011. The extension of marriage benefits to gay military spouses, an inevitable outcome of DADT repeal, underscores the sweeping cultural change that America – not just the military – has experienced in such a short period of time.

"They're now working as fast as an American government bureaucracy possibly can to provide equal benefits," said Denny Meyer, a former navy enlisted sailor and army reserve noncommissioned officer who now works as a spokesman for American Veterans for Equal Rights, which promotes gay-straight equality in the military.

A new benefits policy released Wednesday by the Pentagon goes a step further.

Since not all US states recognize gay marriage, the military is permitting 7 to 10 days of paid leave, not countable against the 30 days of annual leave received by servicemembers, "for travel to a state or jurisdiction that allows same-sex couples to be married," according to a memorandum signed on Tuesday by acting under-secretary of defense for personnel and readiness Jessica Wright.

"This will provide accelerated access to the full range of benefits offered to married military couples throughout the Department, and help level the playing field between opposite-sex and same-sex couples seeking to be married," explained navy Lt Comm Nate Christensen, a Pentagon spokesman.

In essence, the Pentagon is not simply providing equal benefits to gay couples, it is removing an institutional roadblock to gay marriage among servicemembers – a change unthinkable as recently as two years ago.

"They're providing an extra benefit temporarily to right a wrong," said Meyer.

"America has a long history of doing that for other minorities, like with the Civil Rights Act of 1964, to correct what's been wrong before."

It is unknown exactly how many people will qualify as eligible for the new benefits regime. Defense Department officials have estimated that there are some 5,600 same-sex partners in the active-duty military, another 3,400 in the reserves, and 8,000 amongst military retirees.

Jonathan Hopkins, 34, a West Point graduate and veteran of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, considered the benefits policy change a "milestone," but noted it represented the Pentagon doing what unit commanders throughout the military already do.

"Commanders, left to their own devices, want to treat their troops as close to the same as possible," said Hopkins, a board member of Outserve, one of the most prominent advocacy groups for LGBT troops and their families.

Before the Pentagon announced the policy change, several LGBT servicemember organizations noted that servicemembers stationed in states where same-sex marriage remains illegal will face a financial burden by traveling to other states to marry, even with the Pentagon paid-leave assistance.

"The concern is appropriate," Hopkins said.

"Our view is the Department of Defense is making a good faith effort to try to achieve equality as closely as it can. But it's fraught with hazards. To achieve some degree of equal access to equal benefits, the military has to treat some people differently. The only way to resolve it is to fix those 37 states that don't treat marriage equally."

There will also be a financial burden to a Pentagon already straining under congressionally-mandated budget austerity. Personnel benefits are the fastest-growing segment of the military budget, having grown nearly 90 percent since 2001. Expanding access to them will have a financial impact, although Christensen, the Pentagon spokesman, did not have an estimate of the costs.

"We will assess costs as we move forward with implementation," Christensen said.

Nelson, 44 and a resident of the District of Columbia -- which recognizes same-sex marriage – married his husband in February 2012. He's looking forward to a cheaper co-pay now that he's eligible for the military's Tricare healthcare system.

But the biggest benefit Nelson said he received from the Pentagon policy change is intangible.

"I can't tell you how gratifying and paradigm shifting this has been, to go through this process in such short order," Nelson said.

"It matters so much that we can refer to each other [openly] as spouses, as husbands. There's something intangible about that," he continued. "I cannot tell you what it feels like to finally be a part of a military family. Words fail."