Holy waterproof mascara!

Ellettsville, IN, resident Becky Wegner Rommel recently took a break from house cleaning to record a cellphone video about marriage equality, and it’s a real doozy to say the least.

“This is a really sad day for me,” Rommel begins. “Everything that God created his church to be — as man as woman — Adam and Eve — Five justices decided that God was wrong!“

What then follows are four and a half hilarious tear-filled minutes of regurgitated Fox News propaganda and a nonsense prayer about America’s decidedly secular founding fathers.

“God did not change! His word is truth!” Rommel sobs. “And God says that marriage is between a man and a woman! … I don’t care what you think. I don’t care what you think about my opinion because, you know what? I could really care less!”

Likewise, we’re sure.

She then unleashes her inner Islamaphobe, saying: “Jesus Christ, not Mohammad, OK?! It’s just, like, these Islamic extremlists — extremists — OK? They’re not just extremists. They’re ISLAAAAMIC! President Obama ISLAAAAMIC! Ext — Extremlist!”

“OK, all I want to know is truth,” she continues. “A man and a wife are to be married, OK? That’s what God said! I’m telling you what God said!”

Huh?

UPDATE: Becky deleted her Facebook page on July 2. Fortunately, some enterprising soul uploaded her rant to YouTube for everyone to enjoy until the end of time.

Related: 10 Fun Facts About Christian Extremist Becky Wegner Rommel