Dr. Rick Celebrini went with me to Los Angeles to see my surgeon, Dr. Watkins. First we looked at where the fusion was, the C5-6 area of the spine. It was still solid, the plate and screws were good. That was important. The C4-5 above the fusion had a small bulge, so we went back to see how it looked before surgery. It was worse, not terribly worse, but it had progressed more than we thought. Below the fusion, the C6-7 had something bigger. That was the main issue.

Dr. Watkins told me I could not play anymore. Too risky.

That’s when it became a blur to me. I zoned out. I’m thankful Rick came with me because I would have had no clue how to relay the news Dr. Watkins gave me. I thanked him for his honest opinion, but I wasn’t prepared for the news he gave me, though I knew it was a possibility.

It was the worst answer I could have gotten, but in some ways the best, too. I was confident in him and what he said. If he would have told me rehab and time were all I needed to avoid further risk of damage, I would have worked my tail off to come back. I would not have quit. Dr. Watkins telling me it was over made it easier to take.

My wife said I’ve had a great career, I’ve done everything I could and she was proud of me. She told me the best is yet to come, and I will be successful at whatever I choose to do next. My parents said they were very proud of me and were happy I could live a normal life.

No one in my family would admit it, but I could pick up that they had been worried. It’s not the answer they wanted to hear, but I think there is relief.

We have two sons. Dylan turns three next Tuesday and Ethan will be two in April. Dylan saw the scar on my neck last summer and would say, “Daddy has a boo-boo.” I was not allowed to lift more than five or 10 pounds last summer, and he was about 20. I know the most important thing is living a healthy life with them.