“There’s so much trauma he went through that he didn’t deal with, that he didn’t talk about,” she said. Hearing about her grandfather’s struggles made her think: “Who am I to talk about feeling depressed? Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

But intergenerational trauma is a crucial reason for Latinos to go to therapy, said Alejandre. Not doing so “allows the cycle to continue — whether it’s trauma, whether it’s depression, anxiety, domestic violence,” she said.

She suggests explaining therapy to family members by comparing it to other common treatments: “When we have a cough, we take cough syrup, jarabe, to feel better. When our minds are sick, we go to therapy.” She also said it’s important to clarify that therapy is not only for moments of crisis. “Therapy is a space where you can learn to build skills, whether that’s communication, whether that’s understanding yourself, creating boundaries.”

For me, setting boundaries meant not telling anyone in my family that I was going to therapy for more than a year. It helped to have it be my own thing, to not have to answer to anyone or be questioned about what went on there. Vargas’s approach was to share “very general things so that they felt like they were part of it, but not to the extent that they knew too much, because that time between me and my therapist was my time.”

Alejandre said: “It is tough when family sees you as ungrateful for healthy behaviors like boundary setting. But the system will not change if someone does not initiate the change.”

And early conversations about therapy are like planting seeds in our communities, she added. Those seeds will grow into an understanding “whenever they’re ready.”