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Local Dubbo grazier Horrace Calare (62) says he’s still a bit confused as to why the NSW Labor Party has spent the last month campaigning as a single-issue party.

“Jeez. Thought they would have jumped on the fish kill. I could almost smell it from here” says Horrace.

“Or the fact that you can’t find a beer outside the casino during the Easter Show”

“I spent the last couple month thinking their leader was named Luke something, but turns out he’d been discreetly replaced by white dork #2, who’s name I didn’t learn until his 6th press conference outside Allianz stadium this week”

Calare’s state electorate of Dubbo voted yesterday in favour of the National Party, only by 1.5% over a local independent, with the number three going to the Shooters and Fishers.

Horrace says you’d be surprised at how little you heard any of them talking about stadiums.

“For a while there I felt like my whole town and our political hopefuls hadn’t been reading the news”

“But it turns out just no one really cares”

“Allianz stadium is only 400 kilometres away, and the only place I can find a beer after 8pm when I visit Sydney, so I wasn’t too worked up about the place getting renovated”