Well, if Antioch College has its way, campus smooching will involve so many questions and answers. You might want to bring your lawyer along. These are the rules. I don’t think the sexual offense policy was anti-sex. I loved sex then, and I love sex now. I had a problem — and I still have a problem — with people feeling like they can’t slow down enough to figure out what the other person is really feeling. #MeToo. MeToo. The person of the year is the #MeToo movement. The same conflicts that we had in our discussions in the early 1990s at Antioch College are happening now. What is misconduct, and what isn’t? Is it the job of men to now decide when women are capable of consent? We did this 25 years ago. It’s just crazy to me that it’s still an issue. As it reaches the bedroom, as it reaches this male-female coming together, women are saying what? Women are saying, “Us too.” I see consent as a human issue. If, from the point you meet somebody, you’re not seeing them as a person, that’s a problem. The difference is not necessarily that we are where we want to be. The difference is that people are talking about it now. That’s the difference. Consent. That’s a tough one, isn’t it? Nonverbal, it’s very tricky. I think you have to be verbal. All of these questions that we were talking about at Antioch in our so-called bubble have now become dinner table conversation. We’re going to talk to you all about sexual health and S.O.P.P. [cheering] This is a vagina. And this is the butt. This is actually simple. If someone doesn’t want to have sex with you, don’t have sex with them. [applause] So in 1991, a group of women at Antioch began a campaign to promote a culture free of sexual violence at Antioch. This was Antioch in the ‘90s. Antioch has a history of being a fairly radical place. It was really pretty wild, very small. When I came that fall, I look out, and there are two people dancing around in the rain naked. I’m like, where in the world did my mother leave me that people dance around in the rain naked? The campus foments this energy to make changes to better our society. And it always has had a safe feeling about it. Antioch has this openness. And I like that. And then there was finding out that two women had been raped on the campus. So we decided that we should talk to other women on campus. And so we called a meeting. And I said, I’m going to that meeting. I need to get a napkin. O.K. There were so many women in the room that night. There weren’t enough chairs for them. We had hit a nerve. At Antioch, we were playing with empowerment. We were pretending we were empowered. I know I was. So when we discovered that there was a rape on campus, we played with saying exactly what we wanted, which was [bleep] that. We decided to draft a list of demands. We wanted people to understand that breaking someone’s consent in even the smallest of ways was connected to the most violent of assaults. But it didn’t take long for us to figure out that we had to define consent. How do you have sex at Antioch College? Very carefully. You have to ask permission before each and every action, from smooching to you-know-what. At the time, that was considered outrageous because it de-sexes the whole thing. Political correctness and campus feminism run amok. Sex is supposed to be mysterious and a little dangerous. So we’ve got radio and TV spots — The Sanford Florida Herald, The Daily Times Call in Longmont, Colorado. This went viral before going viral was even a thing. Is how students get from first base to second base really any of Antioch College’s business? This idea of women as asexual, things like the Antioch rules. You now have to regulate romance in the interest of protecting women. A lot of erectile difficulties. We were the laughing stock. I was standing in our bookstore when someone from “S.N.L.” called. And they said, “Can we get one of your football jerseys?” And we laughed. [laughs] “We don’t have a football team.” The joke was on us. Live from Antioch College in Antioch, Ohio, it’s time to play “Is It Date Rape?” The idea that we were involved in some anti-sex crusade was so laughable. May I kiss you on the mouth? Yes. I would like you to kiss me on the mouth. Antioch was a very sex-positive culture. ...sexual intimacy by feeling your buttocks? Yes, you have my permission. We wanted to have as much of a sexual cornucopia as we wanted, but we wanted to be asked if we wanted it. That’s it. I was devastated. Frustration, anger, disappointment. I was so embarrassed, and I felt humiliated. I ended up leaving school. I quit. I think that “S.N.L.” talked about S.O.P.P. in 1995, which is when I was born. ‘93? Then I wasn’t born. I wasn’t even a twinkle in my mother’s eye yet when they did that. Going in to Antioch, I had only heard about S.O.P.P. through that skit. All I could think of was I’m going to the school that got made fun of. Can anybody think of a time where there was a movie that actually showed affirmative consent? Anybody see “Frozen“? At the end of “Frozen,” when that dude is like, “Can I kiss you?” May I? We me? I mean, may we? Wait, what? We may. This is the first time in a Disney movie that somebody asked for consent. [laughter] “The S.O.P.P. is Antioch’s formal attempt at ending sexual violence while fostering a campus culture of positive consensual sexuality.” ...give you all a little bit more information. It seems like it’s such a big part of the way of thinking now. “Sex is like cooking.” “I want to cook for you.” “But if I cook for you now, will you expect me to cook for you later?” “And if I do cook for you later, will you expect me to cook for you all the time?” “I want to cook for you. But what if you think my cooking sucks?” “I want to cook for you, but can we talk about it before I start cooking?” [applause] I feel like it’s good that this was here to give people permission to talk about this. In high school, relationships, it’s like a game. You have to swoon a girl and make her — you have to — it feels like there’s a lot of gray area when it comes to one’s first experience with sexual intimacy. But with this, it’s so much easier to become intimate with someone if you know exactly where they’re at and where you’re at yourself using verbal consent. It’s just more of a worldwide thing that we can talk about things now. And with social media, that has just exploded. Somebody can say, hey, that happened to me, and I didn’t realize that’s what that was. I didn’t realize that that counts as sexual assault. Does it mean that women are empowered enough now to say, not anymore? Well, this is just the start. And I’ve been saying from the beginning that it’s not just a moment. It’s a movement. Me, too. Me, too. I have been sexually harassed. We have to support each other, and stand together, and say that’s it. We’re done. No more. [chanting] Do I feel vindicated, like you all finally caught up to us? No. I’m glad. At the core of this whole conversation is a question of, what does it mean to be heard? And how is a person supposed to get themselves heard? When you are bare with somebody else alone, and this is the most intimate side of you, and you ask somebody if they’re O.K., I think that that is incredible. It shouldn’t feel like a novel idea, but it is.