Being in a relationship can be fun. Hell, it’s supposed to be fun, as you and your significant other learn new things about each other, share memories and, hopefully, have some good sex, too! While you want to be happy and show how much you care about her, the last thing you want to do is become the clingy boyfriend — which seems to happen more often than one would think.

Being a clingy boyfriend is, for the most part, every girl’s nightmare. It’s not that it’s a bad thing to want to hang out or communicate with your girlfriend, it’s that the clinginess tends to lead to other things like jealousy, insecurities and general annoyance with how hard a guy is trying. Girls like confidence, and a clingy boyfriend is anything but.

Since some guys just can’t help themselves, we’re giving you a few traits of a clingy boyfriend that dudes just need to avoid. Like, seriously, we understand that you like your girlfriend and all, but if you’re doing these, the relationship is bound to end after the honeymoon phase is over.

Overtexting

When a guy is blowing up his girlfriend’s phone nonstop, that’s a problem to begin with. When he’s having full-fledged conversations with her during the day — like at work or when not together — that’s a serious sign of a clingy boyfriend. We understand that you want to know what’s going on with your lady, but if you’re constantly checking in on her, chances are you don’t trust her, or you’re afraid she may not be thinking about you. That’s heavy stuff, and it’s something you need to address with both yourself and her so to avoid constant communication.

Overposting on social media

Who doesn’t love a good Instagram post that gets a ton of likes and comments? It’s a vain thing to admit, but, hey, we’re all victims of it. Problem is, when you’re known as the clingy boyfriend, you tend to overpost things like that all the time, making everyone think that you and your girl are as happy as can be. Don’t kid yourself, though, because many people read through that as a desperate cry for attention and validation, with you giving the appearance that you’re just enjoying time together. Unfortunately, it’s usually the opposite.

Ditch other friends/plans to join his girlfriend

Does your girlfriend really want you to go out and get drunk with your buddies? Probably not. But does she want you to cancel plans with them in order to hangout with her and her girlfriends, where you’ll be the only guy? Absolutely not. We’re human beings, and we’re not meant to spend all waking hours with each other — no matter how much you two may love one another. Want to stay confident in her eyes? Make plans with your pals and stick with them, if you all join as a group or solo later in the night, great, but it shouldn’t be a prerequisite responsibility to do so.

Jealousy of other guys

It’s human nature to get a little jealous of the good looking guy she’s been friends with since middle school, or the handsome coworker who seems to flirt a little bit too much with her. That said, address the situation with her and trust her that both of them are nothing more than friends. Once the line is crossed and you start an argument over a guy, it’s extremely hard to climb out of that rabbit hole, as she’ll just assume that you think that way about everyone. Communicate any issues you have and find a solution.

Lose a sense of their identity

You are an individual, so, damn it, don’t change what you enjoy doing for anyone else. Sure, exploring new things together is fun and can be exciting — as can introducing one another to hobbies you’ve both enjoyed doing for a long time — but don’t just bend over backwards and become the person she wants you to. Remember that whole girls like confident guys thing? Yeah, when you’re quitting your flag football league so you can spend more time with your girlfriend on a lazy Saturday afternoon, she’s going to be turned off. She wants you to be you, so go do it!

Need validation that she likes/loves him

Saying “I love you” before the two of you leave one another or when you end a text is one thing, but constantly asking how much she likes you is something that needs to be avoided at all costs. This can come in the form of how you look before going anywhere, being bitter when she’s getting more attention than you at a bar or constantly complaining that she doesn’t give you enough. If these are issues in your relationship, she may be doubting things altogether, with your insecurities undoubtedly turning her off.