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According to a woman in Sutton there may or may not have been children in public today playing, and the authorities have been contacted.

Oh. My. God.

Thank you zombie Jesus that we have all these suburban Karens to alert the public to the dangers of boys (mostly) wrestling!! Definitely call 911 like Ann Bouvier Achorn suggested.

Imagine living in a world where people named Ann Bouvier Achorn are calling the cops on you for living your life? This is the culture we have created in less than a month. Madness. Think of what our country has come to when uttering this phrase is now considered completely normal:

“there are groups of kids out and about in non family groups playing.”

Non family?! Ganeesh save us all!! In fairness, what if they were Kate Peter’s kids? God knows her spawn is sprinkled everywhere, and technically they’re family so, is that still worth calling the police over? I guess she’d have to spend time with her children to find out the answer to that so it’s a moot point anyway.

Also, I’ve had about enough of these:

The #StayTheFuckHome and “staying home and saving lives” virtue signaling is just a way for mediocre people to feel like they’re heroes. When this is finally over they’ll all pat themselves on the back for fixing this, just like people in Lynnfield did because they posted that they were “Boston Strong” seven years ago and stopped the terrorists. Just like they did five years ago when they single handedly destroyed ISIS by changing their profile picture to the French flag.

Newsflash – you haven’t saved a single life by hiding in your home and calling the cops on children.

Of course every time someone brings up that pesky constitution thing they just get yelled at for ignoring the scientists and wanting old people like Ann to die.

Hey Ann, if you don’t want the commie cold then you are free to stay home. No one is forcing you to leave your house. It’s you forcing everyone else to commit financial suicide that I have a problem with. Not all of us are retired and collecting social security.

Then there’s the fear mongering like this from healthcare workers:

“Pissing and moaning about constitutional rights.”

Be more self righteous. You can’t.

Stop pretending that people expressing legitimate concerns about the economic depression we’re spiraling into are doing so because they deny the virus is real.

Stop pretending that fear mongering and calling cops on kids in “non family groups” is something we should be applauding.

Stop pretending that constitutional rights are things that magically disappear because of a virus.

Stop pretending that your anecdotal experiences as a doctor qualify you to set policy for the country.

I have respect for this woman because she’s a doctor, but no one elected her to anything. She’s not a queen, or an economist, or a constitutional attorney. Her job is to try to save the lives of the people who come into the hospital, not set political policies that she believes will prevent people from coming into the hospital in the first place. She’s also employed and getting paid, and is completely dismissing the legitimate concerns of people who lost their jobs by labeling them as conspiracy theorists and COVID truthers.

There is a difference between fears and reality. The people worried about millions of people dying are coming from a place of fear. They don’t care that every “projection” has been proven to be wrong. Their irrational fears shouldn’t force millions of people to lose their jobs. These people who have lost their jobs don’t “fear” anything, because they’re already living their worst nightmare. And every time they express their legitimate concerns they get told by these Karens that they are “pissing and moaning about their constitutional rights.”

Why shouldn’t my barber be allowed to open up her shop if she takes proper precautions, wears a mask, and constantly sanitizes? Why is she forced to completely obliterate her ability to make a living while airports are open, the NYC subway is running, and grocery stores and Walmart are making more money than they ever have before? It’s just madness that I can go down to Big Y, grab a shopping cart, and walk up and down aisles filled with people, but my barber can’t earn a living by cutting hair. But don’t worry, all these jobs will come back. It’s like putting meat in the freezer. That’s how an economy works, right?

I’ve done my part by staying home, and I haven’t saved a single life in the process. I’m a million times more worried about becoming financially destitute than I am about dying from the coronavirus. It’s a chance I should be allowed to take. I supported the shut down when it was put in place a month ago, but clearly governors and mayors have become drunk with power, as have all these Karens from Sutton. If they think it’s bad now, just wait till they see what happens when people start fighting back. A virus is going to be the least of our nation’s concerns.