I didn't think there could be anything better than having a hot chick sculpt an enormous model of my head out of clay, but...Hello! Chocolate beats mud any day. Lionel Richie. You lucky bastard.

Did you ever think the moment would come that you could purchase a 20-pound Lionel Richie head made of solid Belgian chocolate for under $1,000? And I'm talking authentic 1984 Lionel, none of this mustache-and-Jheri-curl-juice-less Lionel of the 21st century. This formidable edible sculpture takes 2 whole weeks to mold and chisel into the masterpiece you see before you. The detail of the soul legend's lower lip alone is so stirring I could almost take a bite out of it. Whoa. Did I really just say that? I mean, I've always been a fan of "All Night Long" and "Say You, Say Me," but I never thought it was to the extent that I would want to eat a piece of Lionel Richie's face.

What's that, ma'am? Oh. The UPS delivery woman at my office just said she would tear into Lionel's entire face. And even better if it's made of chocolate.

Twenty pounds of milky Lionel begins as 20 pounds of milk chocolate, melted and poured into a 3D-printed mold of the singer's face. According to vendor Firebox, the sculpture is then "lovingly hand-finished by a blind art student." Ahh, even more reason to Add to Cart.

Go ahead, try it. Add to cart.

Wamp, wamp. Sorry, dudes...or more probably, ladies. 8,000-calorie Lionel Richie exists only on April 1, and as one of our favorite Internet Fool's pranks of yesterday.