Image: YouTube

Donald Trump’s army of supporters are lots of things: violent, racist, musical. Who among them is the most violent? The most racist? Impossible to say. Who among them has written and performed the best musical tribute to the presumptive Republican nominee? I’ll tell you.

Here is every original composition (supercuts don’t count) called “Trump Train” I could find on YouTube, ranked.



21.

Artist: “GO TRUMP !!”

Best line:

Protect our land from the crazy man

Take the fight to another site

Vote for Trump election day

20.

Artist: Christopher Scott

Best line:

Cause there’s vict’ry in Trump I say

Vict’ry in Trump

Cling to Donald and his business wings

And hop on board that long Trump train.”

19.

Artist: “Isee you”

Best line:

Debt keeps growing bigger, no one seems to care

Holes in the border, danger everywhere

18.

Artist: Joe Staffieri

Best line:

So if you’re Cruz-in for a bruisin’

And you don’t like Rubio

Just come on board the Trump train

That’s the only way to go

17.

Artist: The TRUMPetts

Best line:

USA is in our creed

Trump for America is what we need

16.

Artist: “a Canadian Mister D. Trump supporter”

Best line:

Election year in USA the Game of Thrones begun

The donkey fights the elephant both going for the crown



15.

Artist: Cb Hutcherson

Best line:

The libs will be a little tight

It’s okay, they’ll survive

Our country will discover many jobs again

Our borders will not let the illegals in

When Donald Trump takes the reigns of America in 2017

14.

Artist: Wesley Michael Hayes and Outlaw Territory

Best line:

Now Donald’s going to bring jobs back from China

Have Mexico pay for the wall

Will hang a big ‘ol sign says “Keep out all you terrorists”

We’ll let ‘em know Ms. Liberty’s still standing tall

13.

Artist: Kenny & the Klintons

Best line:

They call him an angry American millions want to hire

We can’t wait to see they’re face when he gets to say “You’re fired”

12.

Artist: Hailey Ross

Best line:

Let’s make America great again

Trump train

Whoo-woo

Get on board

Trump train

Whoo-wooo

11.

Artist: Mike Singer

Best line:

The criminals must not have their way

So stand and fight the Donald way

Family values and true liberty

That’s all he wants for you and me

10.

Artist: “theronniebuss”

Best line:

Let’s all vote for this man to run this nation

Cause if it’s liberals, I feel sorry—sorry for you

9.

Artist: Bobby Mackey

Best line:

Our country needs a leader

And Trump will unify

He’s gonna close that border

And build that wall so high

8.

Artist: Ronnie Mattox

Best line:

The locomotive’s moving down the track

Come on let’s take America back

Also:

Trump Trump Trump

Trump Trump Trump

Trump Trump Trump

Trump Trump Trump



7.

Artist: Joe Staffieri

Best line:

Some people say he’s cocky

But that’s alright with me



Was not a politician as you can plainly see

He won’t put up with bullcrap, and talkin’ all PC

Like Hillary and Bernie

He’s got them on the run

6.

Artist:Luis Garnica

Best line:

Come and join us feel the power

It’s a movement renovation

5.

Artist: Jay Nickell

Best line:

Mitt Romney’s a joke

Lil’ Marco chokes

Ted Cruz? Ha-ha! Don’t get me started

And Democrats? Uh, no.

4.

Artist: Truman Vaughn

Best line:

That Rubio’s a joke

Cruz is a liar

That Mexico wall just got ten feet higher

Let me hear you say Trump, Trump, Trump train

He ain’t no chump, chump, chump change She can hide Benghazi

But she can’t hide her mail

When Trump becomes president

He’ll throw her in jail

3.

Artist: Freddy C

Best line:

We’re going forward

With the American dream

We have a fighter yes! Donald Trump

That’s his name.

2.

Artist: Nimble Navigator Productions

Best line:

Are you, are you, coming to the train

Wear a hat of hope, side by side with me

Make America Great Again, break the chains

1.

Artist: Freddy C (the remix)

Best line:

This is the beginning This is not the end

For an especially hellish treat, try playing them all at once.