Ten ridiculously cool things you can do with TI5 prize pool money

1. Purchase a Lykan Hypersport because... Lykan ($3.4 million)

Remember that car you saw unrealistically flying from window to window in Furious 7? That is the Lykan Hypersport. A super car made by Arab-based company W Motors which specifies in producing super-ultimate luxury cars that only folks with oil money can dream of. Even the headlights are encrusted with diamonds and come with an option to upgrade to "a selection of rubies, diamonds, yellow diamonds, and sapphires."

At the moment, there are only 7 of these bad boys in the world, safely locked away in the confinement of some middle eastern sheikh's garage. Due to its low availability, Lykan Hypersport is the third most expensive car in the world valuing at $3.4 million.

We know, we know, you can get the Maybach Exelero ($8 million) and Lamborghini Veneno ($4.6 million) but we all like the word "Lykan" too much. It pushes towers and it fits right into the meta-game. The remaining $6.6 million can go into repair costs because roads outside of racetracks are full of potholes.



2. A private island in the Bahamas ($8 million)

After years of being locked in your room playing Dota 2, it is about time you take a breather and nothing is more "Like a Boss" than taking a boat to your very own private island... and playing more Dota 2.

According to privateislandsonline.com, a popular Bahamas stop Sandy Cay is currently up for grabs. Equipped with a mansion, a beach bungalow, a cottage and, really, all the indoor fun you could ever want, the island is currently valued at $8 million.

Do keep in mind that Sandy Cay probably does not have good Internet and constructing infrastructure for fiber Internet could blow your budget. Well, maybe you like to play against bots.



3. A trip to space and back ($250,000 per seat)

A typical Dota 2 player would usually associate holidays with the period after The International 5 and what better way to do it than going on a vacation. Maldives? Bali? Nah, scratch that! Why would you go to all these places when you can go to freaking space!

In 2013, Virgin Galactics announced that they are working on a project to send people on space tours at a very low price of $250,000 per seat (hey, it is lower than a lot of previous services to go to space *cough 20 million cough*). In fact, you can bring your whole family up to space and look upon us mere mortals as we go about our daily lives. When you return, you could even tell all your "friends" about how superior you are and brag that you have a new outlook on life.

However, the project is currently on halt because their first space ship, aptly named Enterprise, crashed in the Mojave Desert during a test run. We just hope that Enterprise 2 doesn't malfunction when you are on it and randomly open a wormhole and port you somewhere else.



4. Buy 6.3 million pounds of mangoes ($10,000,000)

Mana is a very important essence in the life of a Dota 2 player and is especially when you are flaunting your skills to your friends. Therefore, we looked long and hard for a mango price list and found out that with $10,000,000, you could purchase up to 6.3 million pounds of mangoes to give you a lifetime supply of mana.

That's not even the best part. Mangoes are transferrable and therefore, you could even pass it to your family and friends to make sure their mana gauge is constantly full. Oh my god, you will be like Crystal Maiden with six mangoes!

Speaking of which, since you will be depleting the supply of mangoes in the United States, there is also a possibility Icefrog would add you on Skype and be your "friend" to get his mango fix. You still don't get to see his face though.



5. Buy a luxurious boat to get to your private island ($8,400,000)

Remember that time when we suggested you to buy a private island? Well, before you buy an island, you have to figure out how to get to it because otherwise, that would be pretty darn silly. Here comes the 116 Lazara Open Bridge, a 150 feet bridge wannabe boat filled with luxurious stuff you will never care about like comfortable semi-circular couches and tables for al fresco dining. I bet you don't even know what 'al fresco' means.

However, this boat costs a whopping $8.4 million. Meaning you have your eyes set on this piece of gem, you won't have enough money to sail to your private island, because now, you won't have enough money for a private island. You could technically get a cheaper boat or island but why would you do that? GosuGamers recommended it! You should just wait to see what you can do with TI6 prize pool.



7. Build a Dota 2 team ($5-6 Million approx.)

If you are a true Dota fan and you have suitcases of money hidden in your basement (because you don't believe in banks), you could probably try to start investing in a Dota 2 team before someone breaks into your house and walk out with it.

Forming a team is a very tough thing to do and making a bunch of nerds to do marketing campaigns for your sponsors is even harder. You will soon find that perhaps, this was not a worthy investment.

Considering that a big source of income will come from The International, you could perhaps.... sign a team 3 months before The International and then, remove them after with some crap excuse you can come up with. Return of investment is guaranteed.



8. Level up Compendium to level 24 million for e-fame ($10 million)

Considering that the bulk of your wealth is from the Compendium, you should definitely stop being stingy and finally buy one as well. Since predicting the qualifiers is too hard (damn you Mouz) and you are too terrible in Dota to complete even the simplest mission, you should just feed the raging demon in you and level your Compendium to level 24 million and shove it in Newbee's owner's face.

The right public relation move after that is to post the screenshot of the Compendium on Facebook, Twitter, Weibo, VK and whatever websites kids use nowadays to stalk their ex-girlfriends. The photo will be guaranteed to hit the frontpage of r/dota2 and you will bask in the glory of defeating a Chinese tycoon for two days at most.

Mission accomplished. You can go back to your paper delivery job and earn $800 per month. Valve will still refuse to give a statement as they sip margaritas on the white beaches of Hawaii.

9. Execute an elaborate prank, like Porky did ($ ??????)

We all love a good prank and that's the reason Youtube is still alive today. While we would usually settle with doing something like chucking a pie at somebody or pulling somebody's pants down, you could bring this to a whole new level, like Porky did.

Porky was a local joker in the small town of Sitka, Alaska. Sitka is situated besides Mount Edgecumbe, a dormant volcano. After four years of meticulous planning, Porky decided to fly onto the crater of the volcano and burned a bunch of old tyres on it. The residents of the nearby town were alarmed at the amount of smoke coming out of the volcano and nearly called out a town wide evacuation until they saw the huge "APRIL FOOLS" on the side of the mountain. He even got the FAA air traffic controller and the local police to go along with the prank. What a legend.

The sad part about it is, even if you the financial means to do it, how can you think of a more elaborate prank. If you do, don't hesitate to tell us about it and we can go down in the history books labelled "assholes".

10. Host a Dota 2 tournament ($7,000,000 approx.)

The easiest way to make more money from 10 million is to host a DotA2 tournament. With years of experience making dirty esports money here in GosuGamers, we have taken the liberty to make you a list on how you can get a guaranteed return on investment.

1. Announce tournament with a $3,000,000 prize pool and find sponsors with bogus proposal and numbers

2. Invite the teams you like and explicitly tell them that you dislike certain players and they will not be able to join because of him

3. Announce a two months long qualifier

4. Run tournament with crappy production value in some unknown country

5. Don't pay out prize money

6. Disappear

7. Profit

Well, that or you can ressurect Synergy League.