Editor’s Note: Normal people might find some of this offensive. (We hope.)

Liberals don’t believe in the double standard. They believe in one standard. Anything that the left does is great. Anything conservatives, Christians or even chefs, yes chefs, do is wrong.

It’s really simple. If you’re actress Emma Stone, liberals will freak out when you play a Hawaiian/Asian, but mostly Swedish character in the forgettable Aloha. Slate called the title “cultural appropriation” and using Stone “a preposterous casting choice” even though both the actress and character were mostly white. Stone even had to apologize for “whitewashing.” Horrors.

Amazing actress Zoe Saldana, a person of color herself, was criticized for playing the role of Nina Simone because Zoe isn’t black enough. Even faux dreadlocks are controversial.

Then there’s the popular Broadway hit Hamilton. In it, people of color play the Founding Fathers -- to make them appear cool. Founding the United States wasn’t cool enough for liberals and the media. I’ll let The New York Times tell you about that:

“‘Hamilton,’ the mega-buzzy bio-musical about Alexander Hamilton and the founding fathers, opened to glowing accolades unlike any in memory. It received 11 Tony Awards, including best musical, and 16 Tony nominations, the most nominations in Broadway history. It won the Pulitzer Prize and a Grammy Award. In his review, Ben Brantley writes: ‘Yes, it really is that good.’”

Hamilton had such an impact it’s one of the reasons why we are keeping Alexander Hamilton on the $10. While I’m fine with that, it’s is a ridiculous way to make policy.

When Hamilton was criticized for an openly racist casting call, the entirety of the left rose to its defense. Here’s The Atlantic, ever clueless.

“In an era when the lead Republican candidate is frequently understood to voice the resentment of whites who see their longstanding supremacy in American society threatened—an era where comments sections roil with apocalyptic mentions of ‘reverse racism’ and ‘black privilege’ — the notion of America’s founders de-whitened for a blockbuster Broadway show would seem like inevitable cause for a round of cultural warfare.”

Never fear, it’s OK to cast white people as People of Color, but anything white people use or do that they didn’t invent is CULTURAL APPROPRIATION.

Which takes us to our latest outrages:

The Foes Of Faux Pho: Bon Appétit’s readers might have noticed a recent piece that was originally called: “PSA: This Is How You Should Be Eating Pho.” The story included a video of Philadelphia’s Stock chef Tyler Akin. Stock serves Southeast Asian food and Tyler has a problem, he’s white. The video showed how he eats Pho. And that’s a no-no. The HuffPo thought police responded with, “Why The Outrage Over Bon Appétit’s Pho Article Is Completely Justified.” Not just “justified,” but “completely justified.” They proceeded to quote every idiot they could find who was angry that a white guy might be an expert in something that white people didn’t invent. One site even called it “whitesplaining.” Bon Appétit went grovelling and responded “how we screwed up and what we can do about it.” Actual quote: “While Akin mentions in the video that he’s demonstrated his personal, preferred way of consuming pho, the outlet’s packaging still positioned him as an authority.” This is America 2016. It’s controversial to have a white chef make ethnic food. But no one on the left refuses to use electricity or the telephone because scary old white men were involved in their invention.

“The Case Against Pets”: The left is why we can’t have nice things: ethnic food, decent movies (OK, I didn’t mean Aloha.), football or a national anthem. Now it’s pets. This might be the most ridiculous piece I have read in a while. This is Fusion-level insane. The authors are naturally professors at Rutgers. They also wrote the page-turner: Animal Rights: The Abolitionist Approach. They have six dogs, but they don’t call them dogs exactly. “These dogs are non-human refugees with whom we share our home. Although we love them very much, we strongly believe that they should not have existed in the first place.” Here’s another actual quote: “A morally just world would have no pets, no aquaria, no zoos. No fields of sheep, no barns of cows. That’s true animal rights.” This is like the Peta version of John Lennon’s Imagine. I can imagine this future, too. Imagine no cute puppy videos. Imagine lefties showing up at your door seizing your pets and setting them free like they do at research facilities or mink farms. Rutgers has clearly outlived its usefulness. h/t Matt Philbin.

Dying To Get Your Death Suit: Forget the coffin. Skip that pair of pennies on your eyes, those aren’t recyclable. No, you need an environmentally friendly death suit. It’s only $999. You only wish I was kidding. The whackjobs who brought you Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth produce all sorts of lefty propaganda. Their site Take Part wants your whole life -- even your death -- sustainable. I’ll let the author’s actual quote help me out. “With the rise of electric cars, sustainable architecture, eco-friendly diets, composting, and countless other options, forging a sustainable life is often as easy as it is trendy. Now it’s even easy after death thanks to a bodysuit made from a decidedly old-school material: mushrooms.” But wait, there’s more! Your death suit isn’t just a way to turn your carcass into a mushroom farm, it’s fashionable, too! Actual quote: “Although the mushroom suit provides a cost-effective alternative, the goal is to do so without losing the beauty of the process. The suit itself is a work of art thanks to designers such as Daniel Silverstein, who has designed clothing for Jennifer Hudson and Kristen Bell.” And you thought you were only kidding when you said you were dying to wear clothes just like the stars.