Int. Office – Entrance – D1







ANGELA walks into the office wearing a hazmat suit. MICHAEL is waiting outside his office. He is fidgeting his hands.

MICHAEL

Good morning, Angela. Is that a new outfit?

His voice trails off as she keeps her head down and hurries to her seat in accounting.

INT. OFFICE – ACCOUNTING - D1

KEVIN

(laughing)

It’s a pandemic, not a raindemic, you can take off the coat.

ANGELA

It’s a hazmat suit, so I don’t get your germs.

KEVIN

Come on Angela, everyone knows you’ll be fine if you buy toilet paper.

OSCAR

You’re both wrong. Just wash your hands and don’t touch your face.

INT. OFFICE – BULL PEN - D1

Andy enters the office wearing full scrubs-- over his feet, hair, torso, legs-- and a mask on his face. Only a small window for his eyes is visible. He’s still friendly. He waves to everyone as he goes to his seat.

INT. OFFICE – PHYLLIS AND STANLEY’S DESKS – D1

Stanley rolls his eyes as Andy sits down and unpacks his items.

ANDY

Good morning.

ANDY TALKING HEAD

ANDY

I find it’s always best to follow the lead of the professionals. What are the professionals doing? Wearing outfits a bit like these.

Acknowledges/shows off his scrubs.

Camera zooms out, to see better

INT. OFFICE – BULLPEN – D1

Michael nervously turns toward the rest of the office as MEREDITH walks in. She wipes her nose with her arm as the camera turns with Michael. He prepares to make an announcment.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

Listen up, I know things are a little tense, but this office is a Corona free zone. It is not allowed in, in fact, it is illegal!

DWIGHT

Actually, there’s no way to prevent the spread of the virus to this office.

MICHAEL

(More nervous)

Well, then we’ll banish it to the annex. Problem solved.

PHYLLIS

Is there any new protocol for disinfecting our workspace?

MICHAEL

Yes, there is. I have plenty of lysol wipes and toilet paper in my car. I bought everything they had at at the store yesterday.

Disapproving noises.

PAM

(scolding)

Michael…

MICHAEL

Shhh! I don’t wanna hear it. You should be thanking me; While crazy people are piling all the toilet paper in Scranton in their carts, I will be sharing with all of you.

More disapproval.

ANGELA

But you’re one of the crazy people buying all the toilet paper!

MICHAEL

Out of love!

Michael escapes into his office. Angela rolls her eyes and goes to sit back down.







Intro







INT. MICHAEL’S OFFICE – D1

Dwight enters the room carrying some type of poster, Michael is staring at his computer screen. He exhales air he had been holding in as he sees Dwight.

MICHAEL

Do I sound contagious?

DWIGHT

Hmm… You haven’t said enough to tell.

MICHAEL

(Stares at the screen)

What about sneezing? I don’t think I’ve been sneezing. Can you hold back a sneeze without knowing?

DWIGHT

Of course I can. But Michael, I had an idea.

Michael finally rips himself from the screen and looks at Dwight.

MICHAEL

(in a voice)

About what?

DWIGHT

We need to use this toilet paper shortage to our advantage.

MICHAEL

(nodding along)

Yes, very good idea. I had the same idea. Um, what were you thinking specifically?

Dwight props up the poster and points a long extendable pointer at the curtain covering it.

DWIGHT

What does the world need right now?

Michael takes a moment to think.

MICHAEL

A cure? A vaccine?

DWIGHT

False. We need toilet paper.

Dwight uncovers the poster and reveals a bathroom with a stack of paper.

DWIGHT (CONT’D)

What do you call paper in a bathroom, perhaps on a toilet?

MICHAEL

(Without thinking too hard) Paper on a toilet? Toilet paper? Hey! Toilet paper!

DWIGHT

(Doing that Dwight happy smirk at the camera)

Exactly. We can roll our paper into tight rolls, and probably get away with cutting it into thirds. Once that’s a success, we can move on to paper towels! Then with a little glue, paper cups…

MICHAEL

(offended)

Are you insane? We cannot let people use our good paper on… on their anuses!

DWIGHT

That is a great point! Would you want to let the good people of Scranton wipe their anuses with crappy paper?

MICHAEL

Well, no. Especially not crappy crappy paper.

DWIGHT

And it’s only a matter of time before other paper companies start doing the exact same thing. Prince Family Paper! Staples! Office Depot! We need to be ahead of this.

MICHAEL

I could see Staples selling butt paper.

Michael keeps pondering.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

David Wallace always likes innovation. Why don’t you go around the office and ask everyone what they would do if they got desperate for toilet paper.

DWIGHT

I’m on it.

INT. OFFICE - BREAK ROOM - D1

Several people are eating lunch. Dwight is leaning against one of the vending machines. Jim and Pam are at a table. Kelly is sitting with Meredith. Angela walks in only to retriever her lunch. It’s in an air tight, metal box. She is disgusted by their food being exposed to the air and to each other.

ANGELA

Does social distancing mean nothing to you?

DWIGHT

It means less than nothing to a Schrute. Superior genes.

JIM

That is going to get you killed.

PAM

Don’t you think you should be just a little careful in case you’re genes are less superior than you thought?

DWIGHT

Pfff. That’s like saying we should use pesticides to destroy insects.







DWIGHT – TALKING HEAD

DWIGHT

At Schrute farms, we never use pesticides on our crops. Insects kill the weak and only the strong survive. Natural selection. We use the same method with children. I never went to the doctor as a child, and I survived because I am not weak.

Meredith holds up her hand to high five Dwight.

MEREDITH

Yeah! I sold my insurance. What a waste of booze money.

Dwight rejects the interaction. Meredith sneezes. The room vacates.

INT. OFFICE – CREED’S DESK

Kelly enters the office and hands Creed some money.

KELLY TALKING HEAD

KELLY

Creed knows someone who has early access to the vaccine and because he’s so cool, he let me buy one half off. It still wasn’t cheap, but it was worth it.

CREED TALKING HEAD

CREED

That wasn’t a vaccine.

KELLY

Do you have another one for Ryan? He doesn’t wash his hands. Not even after he goes to the bathroom, even though I keep telling him “Ryan! Wash your hands, silly!” That’s super gross. But he’s all, oh, whatever, like I mean, I have a super hot girlfriend…”

RYAN

Kelly, what are you doing? You said you would sign up for my new social media platform.

Ryan looks at the camera.

RYAN (CONT’D)

Facebook.net. Keep up with friends and family on a convenient digital platform.

PAM

Hasn’t the real Facebook been proven to make people feel more depressed?

RYAN

Facebook.net can assure you will feel empowered by comparing yourself to rich vacationing relatives. Use at your own risk.

KELLY

No one is going to want to use your stupid Facebook rip off especially not right now! Creed’s going to give you the vaccine and we will be the only ones left standing!

RYAN

I am not taking any vaccines without an actual doctor or nurse.

Everyone is paying attention to them now and Jim looks at the camera with concern.

KELLY

Why not!?

RYAN

What about the tapeworm, Kelly?

Dwight appears, standing over them with a clipboard.

DWIGHT

What would you do if you ran out of toilet paper?

KELLY

What? I don’t know. We’re in the middle of--

RYAN

That’s a great question. I did the responsible thing and bought as much as I could find. I’m selling it on Ebay for only forty bucks a roll.

Dwight has a creepy grin on his face. Walking in between Ryan and Kelly, he approaches Creed.

DWIGHT

And if you had the misfortune of running out of toilet paper?

CREED

I already have run out. Now I only use Dunder Mifflin paper for my bathroom needs.

Dwight’s grin increases in severity. He walks away.

CREED TALKING HEAD

CREED

That’s a lie. These are dark times. If they find out you have toilet paper, you’re dead. The truth is, I don’t use toilet paper. Trees in the park make new leaves every year, so I haven’t had a need for it in over thirty years. But that’s something that a person with toilet paper says.

INT. OFFICE – JIM AND DWIGHT’S OFFICE – D1

Jim is rubbing yellow flowers around Dwight’s desk. On his phone, computer, chair, and then puts the flowers into the bottom of his pencil cup.

JIM TALKING HEAD

JIM

A few years ago, we went on a nature retreat with a few other people from sales. To annoy Dwight, I gathered some of these yellow flowers and gave them to him. Instantly, he started to sneeze. Turns out, he’s got an allergy. This is information I’ve waited long enough to use.

INT. MICHAEL’S OFFICE – D1

We are behind the desk looking at Michael’s computer. It is the news.

MICHAEL

(nervous)

It’s not looking good. It is not looking good.

Michael points to the screen.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

There are five confirmed cases here in Scranton. Five!







Camera follows him into the bull pen

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

Everyone, conference room in one minute! This is urgent! Let’s go, people!

The crowd shuffles in and takes their seats. There is an easel with paper on it. Angela raises her hand.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

Yes, tiny?

ANGELA

This is not the recommended six feet distance, and it’s a gathering of over ten people.

MICHAEL

Okay, no problem. Toby get out.

Toby leaves, but the rest try to explain that there are still too many people.

PHYLLIS

There’s still over ten people.

MICHAEL

(eager to get the meeting started)

I don’t count because I’m running the meeting, Dwight has supper genes, you can’t have Jim without Pam, Angela is so short a leaf could tip her over, and I don’t see color, so Oscar, Stanley, and Kelly aren’t here either. That’s under ten, right?

They protest, and explain his incompetence. Dwight is sneezing.

DWIGHT

(Voice is hoarse)

Listen to Michael and we get out of here sooner.

They quiet down, and lean away from Dwight.

MICHAEL

Thank you. Now. My announcement is that we need to think about how we’re going to beat this. What are we going to do to not die.

PHYLLIS

I’m not too worried. I’ve been washing my hands and disinfecting the things I touch.

MICHAEL

No, that’s not good enough. I have a better idea.

Michael steps to the easel and flips a page up and over the back. It reveals a written word: AGORAPHOBIA.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

Agoraphobia is the fear of going outside. We have made fun of these people for centuries, but now the agoraphobics will be the only people who survive this apocalypse. We all need to become agoraphobic. How to we do this?

DWIGHT

Trauma in most cases.

MICHAEL

Good idea, we need to traumatize you people. Any ideas?

Camera cuts to the audience

Kelly is talking to Ryan; she’s not listening to Michael.

KELLY

I’m going to go to the beach, and see a movie… I bet I’ll be the only person there. That’ll be so cool. Well, aside from you.

(whistful)

We’ll roam the empty streets together like a fairytale!

RYAN

Which fairytale would that be?

Dwight and Michael are bouncing ideas off each other.

MICHAEL

No, Dwight, that’s just going to make them afraid of shovels, not nature.

Dwight is coughing, but tries to play it off.

DWIGHT

I could hit them with the shovel outside.

MICHAEL

(Not convinced, but considering)

Well, hmm. No, I have an easier way. We will be hunkering down here at the office until this pandemic passes.

Outrage.

JIM

You cannot be serious.

ANGELA

What about my cats?

PHYLLIS

And Bob?

MEREDITH

Eh, I’m on board. My kids in juvie, so I got nothing better to do.

MICHAEL

See, Meredith thinks it’s a good idea.

STANLEY

I am not spending my next few weeks here with you in this office.

ANGELA

Look at Dwight, he’s sick. How do we know he’s not spreading the virus to us?

DWIGHT

(sneezing)

I cannot get your little pandemic.

MICHAEL

As your boss I am commanding you all to stay. I am making an executive order.

PAM

You can’t do that.

MICHAEL

David Wallace told me that I need to do whatever I need to do to make sure you stay safe.

JIM

He means send us home!

MICHAEL

That’s a terrible idea. First of all, none of our clients will get paper, second, how will I make sure you all stay safe? We are a family and families need to be together during times of need. So bring your kids and your cats and your refrigerator husbands and we’ll set up living space for all of you.

OSCAR

This sounds like a breeding ground for Covid-19.

MICHAEL

Oscar, you know nothing of breeding. Now, I need people to go to the store and get the essentials. We need dinners for two… three months. Food, more refrigerators, cabinets, dishware…”

Michael knocks on the window of the conference room.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

TOBY! TOBY GO TO THE STORE!

INT. ANNEX – D1 - CONTINUOUS

Michael has masking crime scene tape and is roping off sections of the office. He tapes Kelly’s nook. Everyone is following him around trying to get him to reconsider.

PAM

What are you doing with that tape? That’s for crimescenes.

MICHAEL TALKING HEAD

MICHAEL

I bought this tape at my favorite prankstore in downtown Scranton. I usually use it for Toby’s desk. Or sometimes Toby himself.

INT. ANNEX – D1 – CONTINUOUS

MICHAEL

Everyone is going to work from home!

Everyone is delighted.

PAM

Really?

Michael tapes off a generous area that also contained Kelly and Ryan’s desk.

MICHAEL

This is the new home of Kelly and Ryan!

Everyone groans and realizes what he meant.

RYAN

Wait, why do we have to share a house?

KELLY

Oh! It’s a dream come true! Come on Ryan, let’s settle into our new home.

MICHAEL

Let’s see, okay,

Michael enters the break room.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

This will be Phyllis and Bob Vance’s house.

KEVIN

Hey, why do they get the house with the snacks?

MICHAEL

Well, because they just adopted someone with a love of terrible junk food!

Kevin’s face lights up

KEVIN

Me?

MICHAEL

Yes! Get on in there!

Kevin runs in.

PHYLLIS

This is crazy, Michael!

MICHAEL

They called Einstein crazy too.

Michael looks around the room full of unoccupied desks.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

We need to clear out this area, because I want to put the conference room table in here. It will be our new place to eat.

DWIGHT

I’ll do it, Michael.

They follow Michael into the kitchen. He opens the closet.

MICHAEL

When Toby comes back, he will live here. Creed has the women’s bathroom. Meredith has the men’s.

Creed is delighted, Meredith shrugs, but is okay with the arrangement. Next!

Camera cuts out

INT. OFFICE – BULLPEN - D1

Tape ropes off the different areas. In each section, some space is left untaped to be a doorway. People are moving furniture, Michael is observing. Dwight is making a fort at reception, Stanley is at quality assurance, Andy is in the sales area. Angela is in accounting. Jim and Pam are in the conference room.

Michael walks into the conference room.

INT. OFFICE – CONFERENCE ROOM - D1

MICHAEL

(happy)

How are you settling in?

JIM

No one is going to sleep here tonight.

Dwight appears in the doorway, he is holding a handkerchief and wiping his nose.

DWIGHT

False. I handle the front line, thus controlling who goes in and out. I broke all doors leading outside.

PAM

What do you mean “broke?”

DWIGHT

I stuck tiny pieces of wood underneath, superglued the door to the frame and knocked off the handles with a fire extinguisher.

JIM

(worried, beginning to panic)

So we’re actually stuck in here?

Jim and Pam rush out to check the doors. Jim goes to the back stairwell. Pam goes to the main entrance. Dwight stops her at the makeshift tape doorway to reception.

DWIGHT

You can’t trespass in my house.

PAM

It’s still work hours, so I am allowed in.

Dwight grumbles but let’s her pass. The door handle is broken. It won’t budge. Jim comes back holding a broken door handle.

INT. OFFICE – BULLPEN - D1

JIM

Dwight and Michael have locked us in here! The doors are broken.

He holds up the handle. The employees become upset.

STANLEY

Like I said before, I am not staying in this building all night with you.

ANGELA

How are my cats going to eat?

MICHAEL

(annoyed, commanding)

It isn’t ideal. I know that. Do you think I want Toby to be here? Of course not, but I am dealing with it. Now everyone, it is almost five o’clock so settle into your houses!

INT. OFFICE – BULLPEN – D1

It is nighttime now. Tension is high. We see Michael enter the bathroom. The office gathers in the Bullpen.

PHYLLIS

What are we going to do?

RYAN

There has to be a way to get out of here. Any way. It doesn’t even have to be legal.

JIM

I’m going to call David Wallace.

Dwight polishes a sword at reception.

DWIGHT

You wouldn’t dare.

Michael yells from the bathroom. He was spooked.

MEREDITH

You’re the one who put me in there.

MICHAEL

Well I forgot! (regret) God! Why would I put you in the bathroom?

Michael enters the bullpen with everyone.

JIM

Michael, you can’t keep us here.

The group agrees. Michael shushes them.

MICHAEL

I am keeping you safe!

ANGELA

You’re going to get us all sick!

The group again agrees and voices their concern. Meredith enters the bullpen.

MEREDITH

I don’t know what you’re all freaked out about. I’ve got the virus and I ain’t worried.

Panic grows in the crowd, they rush to disband Angela screams and runs, Dwight shoos her away and puts on an alarm, Andy and Michael take off. Kelly runs to the annex, pulling Ryan with her.

DWIGHT

Remain calm.

ANDY

(failing to open a window)

We’re all gonna die!

MICHAEL

OH MY GOD! EVERYONE GET TO YOUR HOUSES! MEREDITH, YOU ARE BANISHED TO THE ANNEX!

JIM

Why did you come to work?!

Meredith gets a cup of water from the water cooler, touching the spout.

MEREDITH

‘Cause I ain’t worried. It’s the flu.

Angela covers her hazmat suit in hand sanitizer as she runs to the annex with most of the others. Michael escapes into his office, and shuts the blinds. Dwight tries to regain order. The alarm is still going off.

DWIGHT

Wash your hands, stay away from infected parasite, and you probably won’t die.

The clock strikes 5:00

INT. MICHAEL’S OFFICE - D1

We spy through the blinds outside of his office. Michael is on the phone with David Wallace.

DAVID WALLACE

Why did I get a call from Jim saying that you’ve locked them in the office?

MICHAEL

What? Did he say that?

DAVID WALLACE

Why are you still in the office, Michael? Did you let everyone go home?

Michael holds his hand over his face. He’s full of regret.

MICHAEL

Okay, okay, you were right. This was a horrible idea. I have allowed Meredith to expose herself to everyone in the office… and I mean that in more ways than one.

DAVID WALLACE

What do you mean by that Michael?

MICHAEL

I don’t want to talk about it.

DAVID WALLACE

It doesn’t matter. Michael, we’ve made the decision to ask everyone to not come in tomorrow.

MICHAEL

You’re shutting us down?

DAVID WALLACE

Yes. They can work from home. But for that they need to get home.

INT. OFFICE – BULLPEN – D1

Michael emerges from his office.

MICHAEL

Dwight, fix the doors.

DWIGHT

But then they’ll escape.

MICHAEL

Good. Let them escape. I have failed. Because of Meredith and Toby, it is not safe here.

The general mood of the office changes. They’re happy they can go home. Everyone moves the furniture back and removes the tape. They get ready to leave for the day.

INT. OFFICE – DWIGHT AND JIM’S DESKS – D1

Dwight is still sick. While Jim is getting his things together, Dwight remains at his desk.

JIM

Are you staying late?

DWIGHT

(sneezing)

I don’t need to stay late.

JIM

But that wasn’t the question.

Dwight doesn’t respond. We see his computer screen. He’s researching coronavirus symptoms.

INT. MICHAEL’S HOUSE – OFFICE - D2

Michael is scrambling around his home office area (one of the upstairs bedrooms). He’s rerouting wires and adjusting his webcam. He’s very excited.

MICHAEL TALKING HEAD

MICHAEL

Today we are going to be doing our work virtually. As the manager, my job is to make sure everyone is being managed, so we are going to be on an all-day conference call.

INT. MICHAEL’S HOUSE – OFFICE - D2

Michael finally sits down. He looks back at the non webcam camera with excitement. Then he looks back to the screen and waits. Toby is the first to join. Michael’s enthusiasm is gone. He’s disgusted.

MICHAEL

Out of all the people who could have joined first.

TOBY

I’m just coming to work.

MICHAEL

This is great, now I’m alone in the room with Toby. How do I know you didn’t kill everyone else?

TOBY

Michael, I already told you I’m not the Scranton Strangler.

MICHAEL

I doubt that very much considering--

Jim and Pam’s shared webcam joins onto the screen.

PAM

Morning, Michael, can you hear me?

Michael is delighted to see them and forgets about Toby.

MICHAEL

Loud and clear, good morning to you too! I think today is going to be great!

Oscar pops up. He has a bland background. Before Michael can greet him, Andy joins. He is somewhere not gaudy but definitely wealthy. There is Cornell memorabilia.

ANDY

Greetings coworkers!

Kevin joins just after, his background is messy and he has toilet paper rolls off to the side. Then Phyllis who joins with the help of Bob Vance

PHYLLIS

Thanks, Bob. Good morning everyone.

Next is the office webcam with Dwight and Ryan. A webcam was placed on Pam’s monitor and it has been turned to face Dwight’s desk. Ryan is sitting at Jim’s desk.

DWIGHT

I am here.

INT. OFFICE – JIM AND DWIGHT’S DESKS - D2

JIM

Hey, Dwight. Still sneezing?

DWIGHT

You will never get my medical records. I don’t have any.

(laughs triumphantly)

Jim makes a face at his webcam. Kelly joins the call and sees Ryan. She gasps. Creed and Meredith silently join during the exchange.

KELLY

Ryan! Are you at the office?

RYAN

Why would you think that Kelly?

DWIGHT

I came to the office because I have superior genes. The temp is here because he’s an idiot.

RYAN TALKING HEAD

RYAN

Am I worried about the virus? Isn’t everyone?

(A moment)

I’m kind of hoping I get it. Maybe Kelly will stay away from me.

INT. MICHAEL’S HOUSE – OFFICE – D2

Angela joins. Her background has a lot of cats. Both real and statues, along with cat pictures on the walls. It is very neat, proper, and practical.

ANGELA

Sorry I’m late. Bandit was chewing on the wires.

MICHAEL

(shocked)

Oh my God! Don’t worry about it!

Michael turns to the camera.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

(still shocked but lessening)

I thought bandits were only in westerns.

Everyone settles in their workspaces.

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD

DWIGHT

This morning when I woke up I felt fine. Yes I had symptoms yesterday, and yes, I may have caught the Coronavirus from Meredith. However, my superior genes have obliterated it in record speed.

INT. MICHAEL’S HOUSE – OFFICE – D2

MICHAEL

That seems to be everyone.

PHYLLIS

(squinting at the screen)

No, I don’t see Stanley.

MICHAEL

Stanley doesn’t have a computer so he unfortunately can’t be here with us.

STANLEY TALKING HEAD

STANLEY

I do have a computer. And since Michael doesn’t know that, I can do my work alone with no interruptions. Which is something I’ve wanted for a very long time.

INT. MICHAEL’S HOUSE – OFFICE – D2

Everyone is working on their work. We see everyone at once on the screen, some are taking calls, some are looking intently at their own screens. An empty corner remains. Suddenly, another webcam pops up. It’s Toby.

TOBY

Michael, you can’t keep removing me from the call.

Michael is working. He doesn’t look up from his papers.

MICHAEL

You probably removed yourself subconsciously.

TOBY

I didn’t.

In the office webcam, Ryan is at a trash can away from his desk. Dwight is working uninterrupted.

RYAN

Hey, Michael, the garbage can is full.

MICHAEL

Just use a different one, the night cleaners were told not to come in.

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD

DWIGHT

I’m not surprised the night cleaners didn’t come in. Poor work ethic. When I came in early this morning, I had to clean my desk. I realized they hadn’t eradicated the stickiness and the rather pleasant odor from yesterday.

INT. MICHAEL’S HOUSE – OFFICE - D2

Creed has disappeared from his webcam.

RYAN

Oh, who’s making fun of me now? I just sold another four rolls of tp.

The office groans. Meredith starts coughing. Angela is the webcam next to her. Despite being in different houses, Angela jumps from her seat and yelps.

ANGELA

Michael! Please move me away from Meredith and her germs!

Meredith exaggerates her coughing. Angela cowers away further, almost off the webcam. Michael moves Angela’s webcam and replaces it with Andy. Everyone interacts with the moving webcams. (They look up if someone is traveling around them).

MICHAEL

Okay…

ANDY

Hey! I don’t want to be next to her! She’s got

(more hushed)

the ‘Rona!

MEREDITH

Yeah, bring ‘em all over here. I’ll cough on everyone!

DWIGHT

You will stop spewing germs right now.

Meredith coughs in the directions of various people. Kelly drops to the ground. Dwight gets a weapon and looks at the screen to try and align an attack on Meredith. Michael tries to arrange the webcams in an agreeable way. Everyone is moved to the right side of the screen, they begin to overlap. Everyone starts protesting. They don’t like how they’re being moved and overlapped. Meredith is then moved to the bottom left corner.

MEREDITH

HEY! PUT ME DOWN!

PAM

But I can’t see everyone now.

OSCAR

I think not being able to see each other will make us more productive.

MICHAEL

No, it is important. I’m on it.

Michael starts resizing the webcams. He shrinks Angela’s webcam the most.

ANGELA

Why do I have to be the smallest?

MICHAEL

That should be obvious.

JIM

Then why is Kevin the second smallest?

Michael enters deep thought.

MICHAEL

You’re right. Kevin should be twice the size of Angela.

Michael resizes Kevin to be bigger than when he started. Due to his resizing there is even less space than when he began.

TOBY

Michael, you can just reset everyone by clicking the icon on the toolbar. We should really get back to work. This is highly distracting.

MICHAEL

No, Toby! This is not social distancing. Hear that? Toby wants you all to get sick!

The group begins arguing.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

Everyone! I’ve got the solution. My task for today will be rearranging the webcams. I don’t care if it takes me the whole day, or the whole week, or even until the Coronavirus is completely and utterly destroyed!

They quiet down. Creed comes back and sits down. He pulls over a giant container of money and puts some cash inside. Then he gets to work along with everyone else.

THE END

Thanks to folks on r/dundermifflin for giving me ideas of alternate terms for Coronavirus. They're spot on.