Steve Addazio? Really, dude? A retread from the coaching scrap heap was the best candidate the Rams could find to lead their football program?

Please tell me Colorado State is kidding.

Oh, I’m sure the 60-year-old coach who lost 48-24 to lowly Kansas in September before getting fired Dec. 1 by Boston College is a fine man. He has been called Vitamin Addazio, a reference to his energetic game-day pep talks. He coaches with his hair on fire, which might explain his clean-shaven dome.

But from all appearances, when looking to fill a new $220 million football stadium with something more than apathy, CSU athletic director Joe Parker’s No. 1 criteria was to find a coach who had eaten a cheeseburger with Urban Meyer, who actively consulted with the Rams during their search.

I’m not certain, however, that Addazio was even Urban’s best available friend.

Tony Alford, genuinely proud to be a CSU Ram, was the obvious choice for this job. He gained 1,845 yards rushing for the Rams as a running back from 1987-90 and has contributed to success at hallowed Notre Dame and The Ohio State University as a coach. When selling tickets, Alford could have told CSU faithful and skeptics alike he has been to South Bend and Columbus, but there’s no place he’d rather win than in Fort Collins.

So it’s mystifying, if not insulting, CSU showed no more than token interest in Alford.

Addazio has broken bread on Christmas Eve with Meyer, who loves him like a football brother. So that’s definitely a plus, as well as glowing reviews from Tim Tebow, who warmly embraced Addazio during his stint as Florida’s offensive coordinator.

But if Tebow qualifies as the best character witness you’ll find on a football field, should Addazio earn a demerit for being a Gators staffer prominently involved in the recruitment of tight end Aaron Hernandez, who played in the NFL for New England before being convicted of murder?

In reality, Addazio deserves neither credit nor blame for the men Tebow and Hernandez became. Wins and losses are a much more reliable way to measure a coach’s bottom-line worth in the big business of college sports. So what must Alford think if he was passed over by his alma mater for Addazio, whose 44-44 record at Boston College was the very definition of mediocrity?

Thirty years ago, when the Rams hired a retread as football coach, they landed then 57-year-old Earle Bruce, who had won four Big Ten championships with Ohio State. By hiring Addazio, it’s very difficult for CSU to argue its football job is more appealing now than it was in 1989.

After deciding to move on from Mike Bobo, who went 28-35 during five seasons on the CSU sideline, Parker deserves full credit for saving the Rams beaucoup bucks by reducing a $5.5 million buyout to three payments totaling $1.825 million.

But the search for Bobo’s replacement was shaky at best and awkward at worst. The whole process reinforced the image of the Rams as college football wannabes, begging and scrambling for a date to the big dance.

Colorado State made reported advances to Meyer disciples Butch Jones, who snubbed the CU Buffs for a better offer from Tennessee in 2012, and Kevin Wilson, who lost 47 of 73 games as Indiana’s coach from 2011-16.

Addazio is a proponent of hard-nosed, ground-and-pound football, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

It’s just hard to imagine how this hire will inspire CSU alums in Denver to load up the SUV, fight weekend traffic on Interstate 25 and make the trip to Canvas Stadium.

OK, how’s this for a marketing campaign?

Hey, CSU fans! Come out and support the former Boston College coach who lost to Jim McElwain and the Rams in 2014. Steve Addazio couldn’t beat us. So he’s going to join us, as soon as Addazio searches “Fort Collins” on Google Maps.

Buy your season tickets now! Untold thousands of good seats are still available.

But if it snows, BYOS (bring your own shovel).