I know exactly when it started, a guy that gave me a little oak tree that he had grown from an acorn, unbeknown to me I had been infected with a condition that would take over my life. I bumped into him a few years ago and he saw that the infection was permanent and there was no apparent cure. My every waking moment is filled with ideas on how to manage and when I sleep I dream of what will be­. I have struggled over the last few years but now I have resigned to the fact that its something I simply have to live with.

There was a time, many years ago when I could not drive past a garden centre, I knew that somewhere around the back would be something that everyone else had missed, this too became an obsession. My garden filled with what I was sure would, one day, be amazing. I joined a club, did these folks have the same infection as me? Some did, but most did not have the craving that was inside me. The club was my clinic, it cured a small part of me but my infection was too severe and these guys did not have a remedy.

An exposure to a more virulent strain of this disease happened when I visited my first big show. I could have turned back and managed the small infection inside me but the addiction was too strong and the aching too intense. I need to seek help to resolve this ache, thankfully I had a buddy who was also suffering from this debilitating affliction. We could face this together, having someone to share your challenges can ease the pain.

We sought out a specialist who should have been able to cure us, he did offer some relief but we needed further treatment as exposure to others with the same ailment simply worsened our condition. As time passed my buddy and I sought solace by travelling to different parts of the world to engage with those with the same debilitating condition, experts offered advice on how to manage our situation, merchants offered ‘miracle’ cures and solutions but they were simply too expensive… there was only one solution, we had to find our own antidote.

Was the cure to be found in nature, could we even find it? After years of searching, we eventually found comfort and we are now in recovery, but this is not the end of my sorry tale. There is a country far far away where they have managed this condition, having brought it under control through many generations, they can sell you a cure but you have to pay big for the remedy, and some do therefore easing their suffering.

Knowing that there are so many who suffer as I do brings me comfort. It may take years to bring the infection under control, particularly for those that live in a climate not suited to the ailment, we will get there… eventually.