NORTH HAMPTON, MA—Saying that he wouldn’t let his disability define him, recently paralyzed man Matthew Sabourne told reporters Thursday he was determined to maintain his normal sedentary lifestyle despite his new physical challenges. “I caught a tough break with the accident, but I’ll be damned if I let this injury stop me from getting out of bed every afternoon, plopping down on the couch, and binge-watching Netflix for eight hours just like any other able-bodied person,” said Sabourne, 29, who vowed to maintain his previous diet of nonstop fast food and carbonated beverages. “I will not let this wheelchair get in the way of my personal or professional life, at least any more than my recliner did before. As soon as I finish my FIFA season, I’m turning off my PlayStation, hitting the job market, and landing a regular gig where I can sit in front of a computer all day long.” Sabourne has reportedly stayed true to his goals, recently storming out of a physical therapy appointment after his trainer pointed out that treatment required him to deviate from a normal exercise-free routine.

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