Carving words in stone doesn’t make them happen; it merely commemorates the day you thought doing so was a good idea. Ed Miliband’s chiselled pledges are symbolic though of what both he and David Cameron have been trying to do these past few days, which is freeze time, stop the clocks, and pretend that we’re still frozen in a two-party democracy. The strategy isn’t working and on Friday we’ll probably find that neither is our voting system. We may have to tumble around in a whirlpool of possibilities and uncertainties, because that may be what it takes to persuade everyone the first-past-the-post no longer works.

Ukip may get 13 per cent of the vote, and 2 MPs, Lib Dems maybe 9 per cent but 26 MPs. SNP may celebrate having 50 seats, but Labour and Conservative in Scotland may get 45 per cent of the Scottish vote between them, and no MPs. And we could wake up to no Conservative MPs in the English north, and no Labour ones in the English south outside London, yet with either of those parties claiming to be so victorious they can govern the country alone.

It’ll be a dog’s breakfast of a democracy, but I still feel that as many of us getting out and voting in big numbers for a progressive alliance of parties is the only way we’re going to get democracy in this country to rethink how it works, utterly, from top to bottom, in a way that recognises we’re in the 21st Century and not an Anthony Trollope novel. British politics is now broken; but Miliband and Cameron, talking about their right to govern alone, refuse to see what everyone else knows, so on Thursday we may have to break democracy in front of their faces so they get the message.

Two- and three-party politics may be caught banged to rights this time, but it still follows its ancient tricks. For example, in the closing days of a campaign, most Tory strategies rely on scaring the living crap out of us, usually with apocalyptic warnings about a horrendous financial collapse or a tax bombshell. Those don’t seem to be working this time round: we know enough about how shallow the economic recovery is, we’ve seen too much of the effects of food banks, benefit cuts, and over-enthusiastically-applied austerity measures, to feel that the status quo is a perfect way out.

So they have a go at the Labour leader. Admittedly, Miliband’s stone slab was not his, his team’s or his stonemason’s finest hour. I imagine it may even cost Labour a few constituencies, given how close things are. Fundamentally, though, we haven’t been spooked. Miliband’s done OK, and we’ve warmed to him as the weeks have trickled past. So this time round, the Tories have decided to push a panic button bigger and badder than ever before. They’ve decided to make the electorate scared of an entire nation, Scotland. It really is the mark of desperation when a party that claims to be Unionist tells the electorate to be fearful and suspicious of the views of a basic part of that Union. How are the possibly 50 per cent of Scots voting SNP to feel if they’re told their decision has no currency in Westminster politics? How are they to view their elected MPs other than as castrated representatives?

General Election 2015: The alternative power list Show all 19 1 /19 General Election 2015: The alternative power list General Election 2015: The alternative power list Rick Edwards He may have started his career as a T4 pinup - best known for saying “awkward” and “now, for more Friends” - but Rick Edwards has re-launched his career as a politico. Edwards' book None Of The Above was published this year, and he was praised for making the prospect of voting and getting involved in politics exciting for young people.



He gave a TED talk last summer, in which he gave suggestions for how politicians could get under-24s to become passionate about drawing a cross next to a candidate's name. General Election 2015: The alternative power list Ant and Dec The Geordie cheeky-chappy TV presenters recently took a turn as political pundits when they discussed their disillusionment with the Labour Party in February.



Ant McPartlin said: “I voted Labour all my life but last election I voted Tory because I was thoroughly disillusioned with the Labour government. Now I'm thoroughly disillusioned with a coalition government.



”I feel we're both staunchly Labour and would vote Labour if we could, but I don't know what their philosophy is any more.“



Declan Donnelly added: ”I'm not sure I could picture him [Ed Miliband] as prime minister.“ Getty Images General Election 2015: The alternative power list Cheryl Fernandez-Versini The singer gave a candid interview about her political beliefs, saying that as she paid a "f**king lot of tax" she was obliged to pay careful attention to what each party is saying.



Fernandez-Versini, who normally supports the Labour party, told the Telegraph: "I’ve always been Labour all my life but I want to hear what [the other parties have] got to say for myself. Now that I’m a mature woman." Sport Relief/Gary Moyes General Election 2015: The alternative power list Jack Monroe A food blogger who spent years on the poverty line struggling to raise her son as a single mother, Jack Monroe has come out as a supporter of the Green Party.



In 2014, Monroe was mired in controversy after saying that David Cameron uses "stories about his dead son as misty-eyed rhetoric to legitimise selling our NHS". Her contract blogging for Sainsbury's was not renewed. General Election 2015: The alternative power list Armando Iannucci The Thick Of It creator has been a loud voice for reminding people to vote, and believes that if you don't go to the polling station on 7 May, you're more likely to be penalised by whoever comes to power.



A supporter of the Liberal Democrats in the 2010 election, Iannucci has said he doesn't know who to back this time around, but has been critical of the Tory party's attempted takedown of the SNP. Getty Images General Election 2015: The alternative power list Simon Cowell X Factor founder Cowell said that David Cameron had the “substance and the stomach to navigate us through difficult times”. Getty General Election 2015: The alternative power list Harry Leslie Smith The 91-year-old war veteran is a Labour Party supporter and a ferocious supporter of the NHS.



Smith, who was invited to speak at Labour Party Conference in 2014, has 32,000 followers and published a book - Harry's Last Stand - in which he outlines the danger of privatisation.



As the most cursory of glances at his Twitter feed will tell you, he really doesn't like the Tory Party. PA General Election 2015: The alternative power list Eddie Izzard A staunch Labour supporter, comedian Eddie Izzard has been on the campaign trail with the party's candidates from Southwark to Crewe.



Izzard has said he will stand as the Labour candidate for Mayor of London in 2020 and has been a party donor since 1998. During the 2015 campaign, he has been dismissive of what he believes is the Conservative party flaunting their wealth by erecting giant billboards. Reuters General Election 2015: The alternative power list Al Murray the Pub Landlord South Thanet’s finest, comedian Murray is running against Nigel Farage in his constituency. Leading new party Free United Kingdom Party, Murray’s policies include bricking up the Channel Tunnel and giving the public a British moon on a British stick. almurray General Election 2015: The alternative power list Russell Brand Despite famously saying there was no point in voting, Brand has now urged his followers to vote for Green MP Caroline Lucas in Brighton, and told the rest of England "You gotta vote Labour".



Brand's YouTube channel The Trews has prompted debate, and he hit back at David Cameron describing him as a joke, saying that he didn't think there was anything funny about the Tories cutting public services. BBC General Election 2015: The alternative power list Joey Essex The Only Way Is Essex star – famed for wearing a watch around his ankle and shoes a size too small so they don’t turn up at the toes – has now dipped his toe into politics. Essex (real name) interviewed Nigel Farage and Nick Clegg for ITV. He didn’t learn a lot, but reckons voting is “reem”. Getty Images General Election 2015: The alternative power list Robin Grey – aka David Cameron’s favourite busker In April, as David Cameron strolled through Alnwick, Northumberland, a ukulele-playing man who told the Prime Minister to "f*** off back to Eton".



That ukulele player was Robin Grey. He told The Independent: "I started singing it ('f*** off back to Eton') [and] I was like, that's a bit crass, I thought I could do better than that. But I just kept on going, because it was coming from the heart." Kiran Moodley General Election 2015: The alternative power list Steph & Dom from Gogglebox The super-posh couple from Sandwich staged an interview with Ukip leader Nigel Farage. Very little actually came out of the debate – apart from Farage spilling a drink down his slacks – but the couple got on with him like a house on fire.



While the couple never expressed their political allegiances, they managed to humanise Farage even more, and we can't exactly see them voting Green at the polls. Channel 4 General Election 2015: The alternative power list Royal baby The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s daughter Princess Charlotte could sway the election in favour of the Conservatives as people will be happy with the status quo. If it was a boy called Edward, Tories had worried it could sway the public in favour of Labour leader Ed Miliband. Getty Images General Election 2015: The alternative power list Myleene Klass The Hear’Say singer turned businesswoman gave Ed Miliband the grilling of a lifetime, saying that his proposals for mansion tax were unfair, and that: “You can’t just point at things and tax them.” General Election 2015: The alternative power list Madonna Posting a picture of Margaret Thatcher, the singer showed her support for the often-controversial Conservative Prime Minister. Apparently free milk in schools and miners rights are less important than a de-regulated financial market to the Like A Virgin singer. Getty Images General Election 2015: The alternative power list Martin Freeman Bilbo Baggins has poked his head out of his Hobbit home to endorse the Labour party. Freeman has filmed passionate messages for the public to encourage people to vote for Miliband’s party. General Election 2015: The alternative power list Gary Barlow The Take That singer endorsed the Conservatives in the 2010 election, joking: “I've only known David Cameron for about year. In fact, I was slightly worried at first, because he thought Ronan Keating was part of Take That.” Getty Images General Election 2015: The alternative power list Caitlin Moran Perhaps the essential Twitter follow, and a booming voice for the left in Britain. Times columnist Moran constantly writes thought-provoking articles about women and being working class.

Worst still, what right does David Cameron to believe he can read the minds of all those who vote SNP? Polls currently show no real rise in the demand for Independence in Scotland, and many voting SNP would say they’re doing so, not to ‘destroy’ Britain, or to break up the Union, but to have an MP protecting their local and regional interests. I believe that is how all of the House of Commons is meant to work. It’s what they do in Devon, and Leeds. So English voters need not fear the Scottish vote: it’s given in a spirit of cooperation and participation, not destruction.

Since both Cameron and Miliband are spending the final days of the campaign demonising the SNP, it might be worth looking at how politics conducts itself in Edinburgh. First off, the parliament building is open to the public all year round. You can stroll in and out, meet your elected representative, or join in scheduled debates and discussions held as public events. The Palace of Westminster, however, shouts ‘This Is Not For The Likes of You’ in every brick. Britain is barred entry. I can’t think of any major modern democracy that restricts the public’s access as much as Westminster does.