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Indian coal magnate, Guatam Adani is reportedly furious with the fact that he has been left with no option other than to explore bottom rung lending apps in an attempt to secure funding for his controversial coal mine in Central Queensland.

Nimble, the cash converters of financial technology, had previously only been popular with bachelors halfway through a trip to Thailand, and working class dad’s with gambling problems.

With their offerings of convenient and fast loans, that you only have to pay 20% of the amount loaned as an upfront fee, with an annual interest rate of 98% – it is not the ideal lender for the CEO of Adani Group.

This comes after the controversial carmicheal coal mine was knocked back by numerous leftwing banks like Australia’s ‘Big Four’ China’s biggest bank, the Industrial and Commercial Bank of China (ICBC) and 10 other international banks like BNP Paribas and Deutsche Bank – due to their concerns about public image.

“I mean, we’ll definitely make much more than we need to pay back, but ideally the Queensland government or Federal government just gives us the cash. That was what was on the cards a few state elections ago.” says Adani

“C’mon. Hook a brother up”

“There’ll be a nice little retirement package for you guys [haha]”