A Florida woman wearing nothing but a thong rampaged through a St. Petersburg McDonald's Monday, banging her head on the counter and then attempting to take apart the kitchen with her bare hands. Eventually, she chilled out by eating soft-serve straight out of the machine.

Employees posted the uncensored security footage to LiveLeak later that night, along with their running commentary.

"This woman is my new role model," one of them says.

And why not? Florida Woman doesn't play by the rules. She engages on her own terms. She puts her hand under the ice cream dispenser of life and drinks deeply of everything it has to offer, and then grabs a handful of fries for the road.

[H/T: Uproxx]