This year in the NFL is some crazy whackado shit.

Alex Smith has multiple 300 yard games.

The Jaguars have one of the best, if not the best, defenses in the league.

What the fuck are the Chicago Bears? They go down to powder puffs and then beat the Steelers and Panthers?!

This points to two things:

One- there is such a thing as a soul, and

Two- fans are selling them en mass.

The biggest indicator of such devious transactions is the biggest story of the season so far… the number one team in the league is the Eagles.

Yes the Phil…Philaaaadel…phia? Philadelphia? Am I saying that right? Never knew Rhode Island had a team…good for them.

THAT IS RIGHT TRUE BELIEVERS! THE EAGLES ARE SITTING ATOP THE LEAGUE AT 6-1! While fans, and former proclaimed fans, were bitching about taking a knee, the team whose fan base that once pelted Santa Claus with icy snowballs have claimed the top spot in a league!

Led by second year QB sensation, Carson Wentz out of LSU, he has man-

Wait what? He didn’t go to LSU? Alabama then…he didn’t go to an SEC school? Ok then..

Former Ohio State star, Carson Wentz, has led-

What now? He didn’t go to a Big Ten school either?

Former Stanford Cardinal? Not Pac 12 either? Where the hell did this kid play ball!?

Where? They have colleges there? No, I mean I lived there for four years I didn’t think…



Huh, well alright. Former North Dakota State star Carson Wentz, taken second overall two seasons ago, has shown that he has the poise, awareness, and skills to elevate his team. Along with a fairly good defense, Wentz has been able to close tough games and dominate when he gets rolling.

Eagles..number one…Philly vs Jacksonville Super Bowl? Maybe??

In any case, the confluence of all these happening is a sure sign of the end of days, bro. Stay under cover lest it start raining frogs.