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In the beginning, when darkness covered the Earth, there was the bagel. It was covered in sesame seeds or poppy seeds. Bagels were known as black or white. They were good.

In Montreal, which refined and defined the bagel (which came from Eastern Europe), we would argue endlessly over the merits of each. Like most mysteries of the universe, there was no answer.

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So, as Jews, we would eat. That meant cutting the bagel in half – which is what you do with a bagel, before smearing it with butter or cream cheese – and analyzing its form, taste and texture, all with Talmudic precision. This wasn’t as effective in finding the truth as cutting the baby in half, which is how King Solomon determined the real mother when two women each claimed it was hers. But it was less trouble.

We did know that getting dark poppy seeds between your teeth was disgusting on a first date, which often included a late-night visit to one of the two hallowed temples of bagels, St-Viateur Bagel and Fairmount Bagel.