The most common complaint whispered to me at parties (especially by guys) is that condoms suck. They feel weird, they decrease sensation, they smell/taste funny. I love how none of them want to fix the problem, only bitch to me. Guess what: you can make sex with condoms feel better.





The only thing you can do about the smell/taste is to shop around and find a flavored condom that doesn’t smell/taste worse than a regular condom (I recommend Kiss of Mint). If you like your regular brand but still want to fix the flavor, I’m a fan of Wet Naturals Strawberry lube. If you hate the taste of diet sodas then you might want to skip this one.

Now to the Biggest Complaint: sensation. Yes, a condom is a sheath that goes on a penis, a barrier that prevents skin to skin contact. OF COURSE IT FEELS WEIRD. But there are steps that you can take to enhance sensation.

1) Buy a thinner condom. Japan makes the thinnest condoms and the US makes some of the thickest. No, Japanese condoms are not smaller. Want something big and thin? Kimono Maxx. Kimono anything is pretty awesome in general for durable thinness.

2) Buy a condom that fits. If you were to buy shoes in the wrong size, walking would be uncomfortable, no? Measure your junk, purchase accordingly*. I recommend Condomania for discreet condom shopping.

3) LUBE. LUBE. LUBE. I could write that over and over and over and over. And over. Lube makes all the difference in the world. Before unrolling and putting on your jimmyhat, place a few drops of lube into the reservoir tip. Why does this matter? Try it and find out. Be sure to purchase a glycerin-free water-based or silicone lube. Make your penis happy! And to all the condom companies out there: TELL PEOPLE TO USE LUBE. IT SHOULD COME ON THE INSTRUCTIONS.

While these helpful steps will not make protected sex feel just like unprotected sex, not only will it feel way better, you will be protected from STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Technology is awesome.

*This is why I contend that the responsibility of condom buying should fall on the penis-holder’s shoulders. Which is why someone should make this PSA for men instead of women. Thanks for crappy condoms and bad public messages Trojan.