The person who does not receive “tells” can’t learn that I am in “NYC,” and also can’t let me know that he or she is in “NZ” or “Galveston, TX.” Without that latter information, I can’t automatically go into pleasurable-fantasy mode, in which I picture my opponent in his or her home. It never bothers me that I’m probably way off the mark. In my mind, my NZ opponent is a retired English teacher sitting at a table eating toast and Vegemite, looking out over the Auckland skyline. The one from Galveston sits in a trailer, with a guitar tilted against the wall.

Online games usually start out the same way. I type “gl,” (good luck).

Sometimes my opponent will get a little fancy, typing “have fun!” or “enjoy yourself!” This is a little too chipper for my taste. I have no idea whom I am playing, but I worry that it might be the girl who works at the local Pinkberry. She did, after all, tell me she hoped I had “an awesome summer!”

Conversation, such as it is, tends to be limited to certain Scrabble niceties. When I “bingo” (use all seven letters), my opponent tells me “n1” (nice one). At the end of the game, regardless of whether it was exciting or glacially paced, we tell each other “gg” (good game), or even the jollier, almost Alec Guinness-sounding “wp” (well played).

Without these signifiers of politeness, I might feel that I’m playing against not the girl from Pinkberry, or a retired teacher, or a down-on-his-luck country-western singer, but instead some humanoid without a soul. Sometimes, of course, my opponent does receive “tells,” but is soon revealed to be horrible: “nice use of an anagrammer, u cheater,” my opponent sneers after I make a bingo.

And then a message comes up that so-and-so “has put you in their no-play list.” Again I feel slapped. But I just can’t bring myself to reply, “oh right, pal, INSTEAD was such an insanely hard bingo for me to make — btw, i could have also made DETAINS or STAINED or SAINTED, etc. — u think i needed an anagrammer??? Boo hoo, u sore loser, stay home and cry into your Vegemite.”