(Ed. Note: As the Stanley Cup Playoffs continue, we're bound to lose some friends along the journey. We've asked for these losers, gone but not forgotten, to be eulogized by the people who knew the teams best: The bloggers who hated them the most. Here are Puck Daddy all-star eulogists The Pensblog, fondly recalling the 2013-14 Boston Bruins.Again, this was not written by us. Also: This is a roast and you will be offended by it, so don't take it so seriously.)

BY THE PENSBLOG

Good day, friends, enemies, Bruins fans. It's been a while since we've been on these hallowed grounds. The last time we graced this corner of the Internet, we were burying the 2013 New York Rangers.

As usual, let's just get this out of the way: the following eulogy isn't funny, everyone could've done it better, we forgot to mention Matt Bartkowski's lack of talent, and we totally forgot to make fun of the Boston accent.

And with that, it's time to put this hapless 2013-2014 Bruins team and its "strong" fan base 6 feet underground. The marathon regular season that brought the Bruins the President's Trophy is now completely meaningless, and that's hilarious. They've been eliminated from the playoffs by one of their biggest rivals, the Montreal Canadiens, a team with a real fan base, a real organization that respects the national anthems and doesn't trot out a lounge singer whose forced enthusiasm has reached the level of actors in Levitra commercials.

It's always hard for Bruins fans when the hockey season comes to an end. Bruins hockey is a staple of a Bostonian's everyday life, right alongside having erotic thoughts about Larry Bird, watching Mark Wahlberg movies, and standing in line at bars to listen to the Dropkick Murphys. On the bright side, the loss of this Bruins team means residents of Boston can now go take in a game at that trash can Fenway Park and root for David Ortiz as he shoots horse steroids into himself.

When we fantasized about burying this Bruins team and its entitled fan base, we knew we'd need help. Since Puck Daddy is one of the most influential blogs on the internet, Greg was able to get us access that we could not have gotten otherwise. He put us in touch with Bruins players, celebrities, you name it.

Our first step was to reach out to the cesspool of the Bruins fan base. They were initially on board to give us some quotes, but when we told them that Yahoo! uses black font, they no longer wanted to take part.

As far as bloggers go, no Bruins blogger was available. They were all hard at work writing a blog they could send to Bill Simmons.

Barstool Sports and Masshole Sports took the loss in stride and are already defending the next murderer to play for the Patriots. The group over at Days of Y'Orr are just shouting random things at the sun, so we don't want to poke that bear.

So we moved on to the players...

Our first mission was to reach out to the Bruins' heart-and-soul leader, Shawn Thornton. We spoke slowly and asked him if he could draw a picture of what this past season meant to him.

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- We lucked out and got a face-to-face with Loui Eriksson, but he had his head down the whole time and we couldn't make out what he was saying.

- How about a comment from Ray Bourque? Seems easy enough, but we accidentally sent the interview request to his Colorado address.

Story continues