Being an outsider coming in I did my best to live and breathe the Islamic way while staying true to who I already was as a person. Its a beautiful belief system that can keep you accountable and grateful. I’ve picked up many powerful habits from the practice but there are a few conflicting ideas that I could not keep myself behind.

Guilt. When I was first introduced to Islam I learned about the 5 pillars and the one that drew me to converting was Salat (prayer). I was taught to engage in prayer five times a day during prescribed times and that I have to clean myself (Wudu) before performing the prayers. The concept of being at your cleanest before presenting yourself to God made me think: “Wow. That’s some supreme respect for the Source. It’s beautiful.” Since I was a kid I always had a sense that something beyond me exists and that I can go to it or talk to it when I need to, and then I found a way to respect it. Why would I not embrace such a beautiful ideology? I learned how to pray and lead prayer in Arabic, and even though I didn’t know what each word meant, I knew that the Almighty can feel my good intentions. However, later down the road I realized that it was hard to keep up with praying 5 times a day during the times you’re prescribed to. Sometimes I was too busy, other times I just didn’t feel like it and that ended up making me feel guilty. I feel that remembering Source is powerful but not when you end up associating it with guilt for not doing it. Constant guilt is bad for your mental state of being. You’re not hurting anyone by not praying and hurting others should be the only time you feel guilt. I think its a great habit to remember Infinite Intelligence and show love and respect to the higher self several times a day but it shouldn’t be considered a sin if you can’t or don’t want to pray in a formal way developed by another human being for a different day in age. A way to remember that works better for me is to treat every situation and every moment as an encounter with God. That way, I can never go wrong. And if I do, I can correct it IMMEDIATELY and stay thankful. Try it!

Music is unlawful in Islam. Before I became a Muslim, I was a dancer (and I still am for the last 14+ years now), and before I was a dancer, I was a lover of music. Music makes my heart feel light and happy when I listen to my favorite songs, sounds, and rhythms. This topic is always up for debate between scholars but the general consensus is that music takes you away from God and that’s why it’s unlawful. I can see where the scholars would think that music can take you away from Allah because Allah is the silence that allows sounds to be, but we shouldn’t feel guilty for enjoying each other’s creative manifestations. I’m sure that before religions existed, we had music. From the sounds of the birds that wake us up in the morning to the humming songs of our mothers putting us to sleep at night, in my opinion, I think the existence of music and even sound itself is a gift from God. Sit in meditation to embrace inner stillness but still enjoy your favorite jams because we were created by the divine intelligence that allows us to feel this joy.

Evolution. As we continue to evolve as a species I believe that we are all moving towards an inclusive way of living. For example, to be politically correct in the United States you’ll see a Muslim woman donning a Hijab stand in solidarity with a member of the LGBTQ community and vice versa during a time of crisis in order to show that they accept each other as people although homosexuality is forbidden in Islam. This is beautiful to see.

So where’s the problem? The label. What’s the point? The concept of: this is you, and I am me, and the separation of us all. We’re all just beings and that’s something I’m sure we all can agree on. So why do we have to add layers and complicate it? Why do we have to identify ourselves as specific things? or as anything for that matter? Is it necessary? Is it not just a way to flaunt our differences and focus on separation? Being a biracial kid growing up I got asked the question “what are you?” a lot. and every time I was asked that question I really wanted to say “Do you really have to ask?” and sometimes I still get asked this question to this day. It seems that we’ve been conditioned to label everything we come into contact with.

I honestly believe that in order to move forward and evolve as a species we must dissolve the borders created by “race”, “religion”, “social class”, “sexual orientation”, “political party” and other labels that don’t really change who we are. Think about it. Who are we? Who are you? Beyond the words and beyond the idea of who you think you are, what are you really? Whatever answer you came to is probably the correct one, for you. And you will know its the right answer when you realize that the answer that came to you was born from the space that allowed the thought to be, as you were. There’s power in that space, that stillness, that silence. Something so powerful and so profound that words like “God”, “Allah”, “Jehova”, “Elohim” can never truly describe it. These are all just attempts to label the idea of it. Here’s my attempt: God is the life we love, and the life we live. As for me, I am the one who sees that. I believe that we are all connected pieces of the whole. A slice of The One. A speck of the Universe that’s able to have a unique perception of it all.

I think that Islam is a beautiful religion and if it can bring peace and presence to you, you should definitely continue the practice. For me, I’ve learned all I’ve needed and my Islamic practice has served its purpose. I will carry with me all the profound lessons that I’ve learned in my 7 year practice with this quote sticking out to me the most: