My second point--when I saw Tangled, I was also troubled when Rapunzel began using a frying pan as a weapon, until Flynn used it and noted that he appreciated its worth and strengths. I saw that as a very feminist scene, in which a male character tries something female-coded and realizes that it has value. (cont.)

(cont.) It’s as though in that scene, the creators were saying that for every person, some male-coded and female-coded behaviors are more than normal, they help to balance a person and to make one stronger, regardless of gender.

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(Just fyi I didn’t totally understand what you were saying in the 2nd part so I mostly just responded to the first part.)

meh, I really don’t see it as feminist-friendly but again, I’m heavily biased. I wish I could look up the exact scene but that would be hard, so I watched a fandub on youtube and assumed he spoke something along the lines of what you’re saying he said (my memory of the scene isn’t great). Issues I have:

This is Rapunzel’s weapon and yet when it comes to fighting the bad guys, she swings away on her hair and leaves Flynn to deal with it and fight with the pan.

I don’t really like that whole… feeling of… he needs to approve of it for it to be a decent weapon. And if you watch the whole movie, only when Flynn wields it is it actually shown to hit people. You never actually see Rapunzel hit anyone with the frying pan, as noted in earlier discussions. The scene cuts away and it is only implied. When Flynn uses it, it’s not just cutesy, but an actual, visible weapon for fighting actual bad guys.

Going along the lines of approval, although it’s stretching it a bit more, I don’t like how it links to that whole concept of women’s issues/problems/discussions/etc. are not seen as valid/important until they have something to do with men/are proved to concern men. It’s obviously not a perfect analogy to this scene, and was not what you were referring to, I just find that it seems to reflect a bit of that cultural norm.

(and obviously not saying that men should be ignored or anything, but so often the retort to feminists pointing out how ads are misogynist or something causes people to say, “Your point isn’t valid unless you discuss, at the exact same time, issues with the portrayal of men in commercials.”)

I just don’t get a warm fuzzy feeling, I guess, when it comes to Flynn/men realizing that “whoaaa women are human and can be strong too, how empowering is this for everyone to watch! You were right all along, women- you indeed have worth and strength!"