a/n: i wanted to update before i head to england tomorrow. and things are finally moving along. i would also like to point out that... yes, elsa cheated with anna with hans - im not sure if i said it clearly enough in a certain previous chapter (not sure which). elsa is definitely all different kinds of fuck up, but trust me when i say, i want to take this slow, developing their character growth and relationships.

"Mmm…"

Anna's eyes switched her gaze from the television to the brunette, sitting and sleeping - now waking up - comfortably beside her on the couch with a blanket for warmth. Anna, on the other hand, was just waiting for Meg to wake up, sitting by her side. Right now, it was already well past ten for the night. Anna didn't mind - all this... patience and waiting for Meg to wake up. Afterall, she had the time to think. And this felt somewhat normal. She liked normal. Or… she just liked starting fresh.

Perhaps, fresh… right now, was also unusual. It had been nearly a year. Finding someone else… was difficult and a long journey. Even if that someone else was chasing after her - she just kept running away. Until now.

"You're awake."

Meg rubbed her eyes, still dazed from her sleep. Sitting up, the blanket fell off her shoulders. "Where… God, I fell asleep? I'm sorry."

Anna smiled, despite her worries earlier. "You're at my place."

"Huh?" At that, the woman was completely awake now, and Anna had gotten up from her spot to pour her a mug of warm tea. "Your place…" There wasn't much to be fascinated about, but Anna could see it in her eyes… how much Meg had been wanting to see where she lived. They shined so brightly.

"I couldn't wake you up. I mean, not like you're a light sleeper too. Here."

Meg took the mug in her hand, blowing off the steam of her green tea. She smiled. "What, you carried me home?"

Even Anna couldn't stop herself from feeling a blush at those… suggestive eyes. Chuckling nervously, she scratched the back of her neck - one of those nervous habits of hers. "Uh, I mean… yeah. You were heavy, but it wasn't a long walk to my car."

"You say that to all the girls who are trying to woo you?" Meg didn't even hesitate to be so bold, blowing out the steam of her drink.

"You're the only girl."

"Well, I feel honored, I guess," she replied. Anna didn't mind the boldness, knowing that it was all jokes. Watch, the next few months won't be all jokes anymore. Though… Anna wasn't quite sure why she even thought about the next few months like she was determined to… well, hold onto Meg. Shaking her head, Anna sat beside her, eyes entranced to Meg drinking her tea. "You're very honest, you know that?"

Meg only grinned, but… there wasn't much boldness in that smile. It was all shy and very uncharacteristic of her. "Would you rather me having to go lie to you?"

Anna bit her lip, shaking her head, disbelieved and smiling. "That's not…"

"Look," the woman shifted, placing the mug on the table, "you don't… owe me anything. I don't owe you anything. I just want you to be okay." What was she saying? The redhead felt more than just fine. She felt like she had ascended to the heavens with how tonight went. Anna felt her the warmth in her heart growing. "And… wait, where's your ring?"

"Ah…" Anna, out of habit, rubbed her ring finger. It just felt odd, not having a piece of jewelry hugging her. "Yeah, I just… I thought about what you said, and you're right. I shouldn't be moping around, hoping that she'd come back. It's… delusional."

Her eyebrows crossed. "I never said it's delusional, Anna."

"Yeah, well, I know it is." Anna chuckled, feeling quite bitter, actually. And longing? She longed for warmth. She longed for the day she could really get over it all, and with Meg's help... it wasn't going to take long. "Getting in a cycle of chasing someone who doesn't even want me has to be tiring at some point." She wrung her fingers together in a nervous twist. Having someone look at her, pay attention to her every word… was just different. How could she handle this? She took a deep breath, wondering to herself, if… this was the right thing to do - if taking this first step meant she was moving on.

Her heart… was in a different place now. Her heart only stilled whenever she thought of her ex-wife - only throbbing when she thought of someone else.

She turned, soft eyes gazing at Meg's. "Do you believe it?"

"Believe what?" Meg met her eyes, warmly.

"That I've moved on? That I've moved on… because of you?"

Meg stayed silent, eyeing her own fingers. "Because of me, huh? I didn't do anything. Well, I did, but it's your own heart that wants to move on. Anna -"

"Don't." This is enough. The redhead quickly got closer to her… so desperately close, her hand laid right on Meg's thigh… and she just stared into her dark brown eyes. Silence filled the air, but not even once, did Anna even take a breath. Neither did Meg falter, and Anna didn't want the woman to hesitate at all if she wasn't going to either.

But what was she thinking? How was she feeling?

Her heart kept thumping, and her body seemed to have frozen because she had just realized what she did. She could feel Meg's breathing… sense the dark glow in her eyes… how the beating of Meg's heart matched the way Anna was feeling. And as much as she wanted to swallow, wanting to pull away, she couldn't. As if she was almost hypnotized, drunken by nothing but Meg's tender expression. Lunging at her like that… Anna, are you insane?

How could she have the heart to listen? It seemed like decades had passed as Anna continued to gawk at her a haunted spirit… like a lusted, hungered woman. She licked her lips like an animal - one that she felt like being at the moment. Her heart knew not to move any further, though.

And Meg… just stared, not at all at her eyes… but at her lips. Oh no. "Anna…" One whisper was filled with a thousand shots of desire, and Anna could feel it all crawling up her warm skin. "Are you satisfied with this…?"

She shook her head, feeling foreign fingers entwining with hers. Warm ones. Ones… that she hadn't felt for so long. She wanted to hang on to it. "Of course not… you wouldn't be here if I was." She sighed, feeling the woman's breath kissing the skin of her chin. Did she truly want this?

"I wouldn't be here if I were awake before, anyway -"

A gentle press of Anna's lips on hers, a hand coming to hold Meg's cheek interrupted that thought. Only merely a sigh escaped from the brunette instead.

Gods, why is this so... so good? Anna was so filled with desperation that she didn't care what Meg might have thought of this. She wanted something physical. Someone physical to hold her, to warm her up… to love her. Words were not going to hurt her any longer.

All she could really think about was the woman in front of her, how much this desire was overtaking her, how much... Meg would love her the way Elsa had. Hearing that sigh just confirmed all of Meg's feelings, and she greedily wanted to take all of it. She must have been mad for wanting this, but she wanted more, more, more. Who was there to stop her? Nobody.

She moaned into the kiss… her body slowly started towering over Meg. She sat on her lap obediently, and Meg had let it. Gentle hands searched up Anna's skin under her shirt… and she wanted exactly that. All of it.

A small moan - a single foreign moan, filled with desire for love, kissed those luscious, addictive lips… and when Anna pulled away - forced to be pulled away by a hand on the back of her neck - she felt disgustingly flushed, blazing crimson all over her skin, her body tingling like physical touches were just completely foreign to her. It hurts to touch.

Her forehead touched Meg's… and she was also forced to look into her eyes. "Meg…" she breathed, absolutely out of breath too.

Meg didn't say anything at first, blank eyes searching her expression. Even Anna didn't know how she looked. "I… I don't want this… if you don't."

What? Anna blinked. "Meg...?"

"I don't want to do this, if… if you're doing this because I'm just another woman. Just… someone that can make you forget about Elsa. I want you only if you want me too. If you love me."

She's serious. Completely serious. Anna just smiled, shaking her head. "I'd be crazy, if I didn't, Meg."

That still didn't change her expression. "You're not just saying this, are you? Anna… I don't want to just be a replacement."

Oddly, her heart ached, and she wasn't sure what was even real anymore. But replacement? How could Meg say that? Anna almost felt betrayed, but... yes, perhaps, this was the right thing to feel after a failed marriage like that. She licked her lips, unable to move… unable look into her eyes - but that only confirmed Anna still wasn't sure what she wanted. A fulfillment to replace this hole in her? This awful loneliness? Meg?

This guilt that chained her heart still existed, but she realized… she had to be sincere about how she felt, seeing the worry in Meg's expression. How much the woman cared for her wellbeing and her feelings. But did it go the other way around too? Did Anna care as much as she would have without this damned marriage blinding her?

She smiled, a hand coming to caress Meg's cheek, thumb drumming below her ear. "All this time… you watched me wallow in my own misery, and seeing how much you wanted to help me… how much you cared for me, helped me see the light. Please… if I didn't want you, I would have pushed you away by now -"

Anna still had so much more to say, if it weren't for her phone ringing on the table. Both of them turned, seeing a certain name pop up on the screen. Anna just wasn't sure what she wanted to do now. And like they could read each other's mind, they both turned to look into each other's eyes.

Suddenly… she could just sense the bitterness, the hurt in Meg's expression. She didn't need to hear any of her words to know she had to get off her. To know that she needed to pick up that phone.

Anna cleared her throat, getting up to head to the hallway. "I… should answer this."

"Yeah… go ahead." There was just something so painfully sounding in Meg's voice. But pushing that aside, Anna could even feel an even bigger pain when she answered the phone.

"Hey…" She leaned against the wall, an arm holding around her waist.

"Anna? What time is it? Did you just get home?"

"Yeah, I…" She peeked out in the corner to see Meg sipping her tea, eyes dazing out in her own world. "Yeah, just got home."

"What were you doing? You never get home this late. I texted you so many times, and you never answered."

"Oh, I was… drinking."

"You have been drinking a lot lately."

Well, when did she care? Why did she care? Anna ran her fingers in her hair. "Sorry, Meg invited me to drink so I couldn't refuse. I'm home now. What were you calling me for?"

The other end sounded silent, which… not only made Anna feel nervous, but agitated too. Sure, she knew to lie to her was wrong. She never had the heart to hurt Elsa in the past. Though, this time, she wasn't so sure about that. This silence was more than frustrating, knowing that she couldn't see Elsa's expression. She wanted to see it… she wanted Elsa to be raw with her. She wanted... the hurt seen on her face. Revenge, perhaps? I'm... in a dark place.

"I just wanted to check up on you. See if you wanted dinner - I could've come drive to your apartment."

Anna nodded. "I see. Sorry about that. Uh, tomorrow, okay?"

"Is Meg with you?"

The redhead twitched. "No." What the hell are you doing, Anna? And she knew Meg heard that. In the background, a small, exhausted sigh escaped, and it wasn't Anna. "I drove her home before I came back."

"Are you lying?"

Anna nearly threw her phone against the wall, feeling her own anger bursting out from a zero to a hundred. "Elsa, what the hell is with you these days? You've been questioning me so goddamn much! You don't trust me?"

"Anna, where is this coming from?"

The woman sighed, eyeing the ground. Deep breaths… "I just…" She sensed Meg coming up to her, arms crossed to her chest… a worried look painted on her face. Anna wasn't so bothered by that. All she wanted to do was let out every single thought - give Elsa a piece of her own mind. "I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being chasing after you for no goddamn reason. I'm tired of just being another person in the house, and I don't want that anymore." She clenched on her phone tightly. Should I even be saying all of this? Anna… you complete fool. But Anna wasn't going to listen. She'd come so far… she didn't have to stop. "I don't want to be an enemy to you, to us, to myself." Enough. Shut up. Just shut up.

"Anna -"

"I'll… see you soon, Elsa." Click. The only thing that Anna let out now was a sigh. Her arm with her phone dropping to the side… and she eyed the ground, in shame for saying all this. Of course, it was all foreign to her. She'd always… been chasing after Elsa's acknowledgment, always wondering what had gone wrong in the marriage. But now she realized it just wasn't healthy anymore. Even thinking about it now, this wasn't normal. Everything else before this wasn't exactly like that either.

She let out a defeated sigh, turning to Meg. The brunette… didn't say a word, letting her expression reveal all her worries and concerns.

"I…" Anna wrapped an arm around herself, chuckling. "I said it. I said all of it…" Her voice… filled with hurt, was soft. And even if it was her own voice, Anna just felt bad about, herself.

"Anna - Oh, Anna, come here…"

She hadn't even realized she was crying until Meg extended her arms for her, wrapping them around her back, a hand soothingly running up and down on the small of it. And just like that… Anna broke down. She was almost like a child, unable to let go of their favorite worn-out teddy bear… and yet, she had finally let Elsa go from this worn-out marriage.

She wept, crying on Meg's shoulders, her hands grasping at the woman tightly, her tears cascade down her reddened face - a face filled with grief… and face that only truly meant she moved on. At least now, she could feel loved by someone else. Meg was holding her so tightly… so warmly. For a moment, they dropped to the ground like Anna was going to faint - but she was just completely overcome by her own emotions.

"Shh… it's okay… it's okay, you tried, Anna. You did great. I'm sorry. I'm here for you."

Elsa's phone continued to beep after that call, and she was just… completely dumbfounded, in bed. She gazed at the wall across the room, dazing away. Her heart felt like knives had been piercing at it repeatedly. First Hans… and now, Anna? Tonight had just been a rollercoaster of emotions.

She sighed, two hands placed on her face in shame. All this time, she had always wanted Anna to move on. All this time, she wished Anna would stop chasing after her. And now that Anna had called her - said all these things that were on her chest all this time… Elsa didn't know what to think. How to feel.

And in her heart, deep down, she knew Anna was lying. She could say Meg wasn't there at her home, and Elsa knew. Anna… was never great at lying, but for her sake - for their sake, she was willing to let it go.

Was it jealousy? Perhaps… she was always denying herself that there was any jealousy, that she wasn't even sure if she felt that anymore. All Elsa could feel… was an emptiness. One that Elsa thought would never come because… well, she was so used to Anna. Used to her... following her shadow.

She sighed in shame, unable to sleep, unable to think. This whole evening… was a disaster that awaited her.

"Mom?"

The woman immediately picked her head up to see her little boy with Marshmallow in his arms. Ah, he was the only thing that could make her smile. "Hey, buddy, it's late, why are you still up?"

Olaf didn't smile his usual grin. In fact, his eyebrows were furrowed in worry as his little feet took him right up to Elsa's bed. "Mom, may I sleep with you tonight?"

"Sure, honey." She ruffled his hair as he climbed up in bed, letting her mother tuck him in. "Are you having nightmares again?"

"No…" he says, shifting himself so he could lay his head on Elsa's chest, his arms hugging his teddy. "Mom, why did Uncle Hans leave early today…? I heard yelling… are you mad at him? I couldn't sleep because of that..."

Oh dear, he heard it… Elsa could never really tell Olaf anything - she never wanted to hurt her little baby boy, of course. But every day - every single day, Olaf would just be more and more curious. Too wise for his young age. The woman sighed, rubbing Olaf's back with her hand. "Well… you can say, Uncle Hans was just frustrated."

"About what?"

"Mm… let me ask you this, do you want Uncle Hans to be your daddy?"

For a second, Olaf's face brightened up… only to disappear a moment later. He shakes his head, no.

"Oh?" Elsa was quite surprised. She remembered the enthusiasm he had in his voice that evening. "Why not?"

"Because I have two mommies, and I think Mama is enough for me. I can't be a greedy boy."

"Oh, Olaf…" She paused. "You can say… Uncle Hans just wants to be daddy fast, and we don't agree."

"Why?"

She smiles. "It's too early, I guess."

"Mom, are you lonely?" Lonely… That was also one word Elsa would never have thought she'd be. She stayed silent for a bit, feeling curious bright eyes watching her. And just as she was about say no… Olaf's widening smile just stopped her from saying anything. "Heh, Mom, since you have me, you'll never be lonely, right?"

Silly boy. "Oh, of course not…" She leaned in to kiss his forehead. "You're the best thing I could ever have. Mom won't be lonely for a very, very long time."

Olaf just happily snuggled with her mother. "Mom…? Do you think Mama will ever come back home? I miss her…"

At that, Elsa just didn't know how to answer the poor boy. She realized… Anna seemed to be in a very, very dark place… and she just had enough. And deep down, perhaps, even she knew Anna had moved on for Meg. She wasn't angry. She was… well, she needed time to realize this was happening. That perhaps… she was in the wrong.

She ran her fingers through Olaf's hair, eyes soft on him. "Mama will be home soon. I promise, baby. I promise."