Those are words I’ve been googling the last day. How to move on. I’ve found some interesting advice. Some that makes no sense, some that I’ve been internalizing and figuring out how to add to my daily life.

Some good advice I’ve found:

Don’t be afraid to cry, but don’t let it take over your life.

Sometimes you have to let yourself cry. My rule is I’m allowed to cry when I first wake up and before I go to bed. That’s when it’s the hardest and it’s important to be honest about how you feel. But it’s also not healthy to become consumed by your pain, so that is what I’m going to try to avoid.

Ask for help, but don’t become a burden.

For the last few months I’ve been scared to ask for help. It’s been hard to admit that I can’t deal with being alone all the time in this apartment. Finally I told my friend L that I just need him to be here more often, I can’t be alone at night every single night. Now he’s realized that I’m in pain and is making an effort to come over for a couple hours before I go to bed. It is so important to have friends that are there for you, but you have to make sure that you don’t let your problems be the only thing that matters. Your friends will need your support too, so give it to them.

Don’t blame yourself or the person you lost.

You can sit and obsess over who’s fault something is forever… but that doesn’t really matter and it’s not something worth making yourself miserable over.

Don’t romanticize the relationship.

One of the most important things I read told me some harsh truths that I needed. That if he was “the one” (if that even exists), we wouldn’t have broken up. If we were meant to be together, we would be.

Don’t hold out for the chance that they may want you back later.

It’s easy to tell yourself that maybe they just need more time, that they’ll change their mind. But the truth is that when we want to be with someone, we’ll do anything to be with them.

Wait until you’re ready to date again.

A lot of my friends want me to be going on dates. They think it’s time and that if I “get back out there” it will be easier to move on. I don’t really agree. I’m not ready to date. Sure, the attention and flattery would be nice, but I’m not ready and it wouldn’t make me happy.

Do you.

There are many things that I like doing that I never would have done in my relationship. For example, last night I went to a club and danced in five feet of foam. J never would have done something like this, and I wouldn’t have because I would’ve wanted to go with him. We would have fought about it. This helps remind me that we have very different interests and ideas of fun, and now that I am by myself I am free to express myself in these ways. As stated in an earlier post, dance is something I have really embraced. I received several compliments on my dancing last night… it was pretty incredible. I felt so happy. It’s nice to feel happy.