Some celestial event. No – no words. No words to describe it. Poetry! They should’ve sent a poet. So beautiful. So beautiful… I had no idea.

In an unexpected but brutally joy-inducing tweet sent out on Wednesday afternoon, WWE announced a new WWE Network show, Southpaw Regional Wreslting, and it might be the Network’s first successful attempt at comedy. Holy Foley was more of a Faulknerian tragedy.

But yo, this show has John Cena doing a Gordon Solie impersonation as “Lance Catamaran,” and accidentally automatically becoming WWE’s best play-by-play announcer. Also spotted in the trailer are Handsome Rusev and Lana in cowboy hats, TJ Perkins as an old school territories champion, Chris Jericho as some hybrid of Freddie Blassie and the Grand Wizard, an oceanic dinosaur (?), promos in front of green-screened crashing waves, the works. This is relevant to my interests. Finally, jokes about what makes old pro wrestling actually funny.

I’m not sure how much of this show we’ll get or if this is just a piece of some broader comedy sketch show, but I think I speak for every good-hearted person when I say, “forget about WrestleMania and NXT TakeOver: Orlando and please concentrate on making Southpaw Regional Wrestling your fourth brand.” Lance Catamaran better be available for photos at Axxess.