A Syrian refugee in Stockholm, in mid-October. Photograph by Jonathan Nackstrand/AFP via Getty

Last month, I wrote about a Syrian refugee named Ghaith, who had recently arrived in Sweden after a trying and tumultuous journey. “Just think about how much every Syrian is suffering inside Syria to endure the suffering of this trip,” he told me. On Saturday, Ghaith sent me a text message that read, “Pray for Paris,” and on Tuesday I reached him on Skype to talk about Friday’s terrorist attacks and his new life in Sweden. We spoke through a translator; what follows is a lightly edited transcript of our conversation.

How did you react when you first learned about the attacks in Paris?

I started getting physically sick, stomach ache, symptoms of the flu. Emotionally, I broke down as well. When I heard that someone had saved forty-five lives by acting as a human shield, I just wished that that could have been me.

Though there is some dispute about its authenticity, one of the gunmen reportedly had a Syrian passport, which had been registered by the Greek authorities in early October.

Let me tell you something. When I first heard this, I felt betrayed, as if those who were hurt were part of my own family. And, of course, I was following the news extensively, and when I heard that one of these men might be a Syrian I immediately started thinking about how we, as refugees, we are fleeing from exactly these things. We are fleeing from terror, we are fleeing from these mass murderers. I was also thinking about how this might have a negative consequence on me, as Ghaith.

How so?

So far, nothing has happened. But when you think about some countries, where people are more vocal in their attacks on refugees, we are worried, especially because of our names. For example, I started talking to my brother about changing my name. When I get my residency papers, I don’t want to have “Mohammad” in my name, because that might damage me.

Can you just change your name?

Yes, I can. Because in Sweden, they don’t have these complex names; I’ll have to choose a single name, so it is an option.

While in Syria, did you ever experience anything like what happened in Paris—gunmen on the loose near your home, unsure who or what they were targeting next?

Not directly, but I was constantly living with that fear. But since I got to Europe, that fear disappeared.

During your journey, did you ever meet anyone who spoke in support of ISIS?

No, no, no. And if I did, I would have reported them.

Has anyone bothered you over the past few days?

Not at all.

Do you worry that some people might not trust you anymore?

I haven’t felt any negative reaction yet, and I don’t think I will. But in the future, that could happen, because of my name—if I’m studying, or if I go to work—that, for whatever reason, someone decides, because of my name, I shouldn’t be given that opportunity. But, even if they acted that way, I would understand where they are coming from. Because of what happened in Paris, I could see they might think that way.

Is there anything you can do to prevent that from happening?

There’s nothing I can do other than live as a good citizen and obey the rules here. I want you to understand: since I moved to Europe, I consider what happened in Paris to have happened to my nation. I felt like it was a personal attack.

You almost certainly know what’s happening on the ground in Syria better than most politicians in Europe and the United States. How can ISIS be defeated?

This organization, ISIS, is against everyone, even the common Muslims who live their lives normally. They think that everyone besides themselves is wrong. The best thing we can do is accept each other, and live with each other. You’ve seen the pictures of where my brother lives, and his neighbors with the gay-pride flag? [In one video Ghaith sent me, he and his family members are picnicking in the back yard, under a balcony displaying a rainbow flag.] When I saw that—you know, I’m married—but I wanted to accept that, so recently, during Pride Week, I told my brother, “I want to go and march with them, to show that I accept that.” That’s what we can do.

But ISIS is just one side: the Syrian regime is the other side of this terror. And there is no right side.

What role can refugees play in the fight against ISIS?

The best thing we can do is to fully integrate into our societies. If I really want to be part of this culture, I have to accept it.

Late last month, a man armed with a sword attacked a school near where you live, in Gothenburg. He’d apparently left a suicide note, saying that he intended to attack foreigners and believed that Sweden shouldn’t take as many foreigners.

I read about that, but I haven’t seen anything like that myself. My experience? Whenever people see me—someone who is educated, looking for work—they react very positively to that, they feel very happy that these recent immigrants are working and trying to integrate.

You’ve gotten a job since we last spoke, right?

Yes, at a garage, I’m doing car repair.

Had you done that back in Syria?

No, I’m learning on the job. It’s totally new to me. There are a couple of Arab Swedes there, and another Swedish guy who’s been teaching me. I’ve been his understudy.

What did you do today?

We fixed two cars, an Audi and a Volvo.

Doing what?

Changing their tires, from summer tires to winter tires.

Earlier in the fall, the Swedish government seemed full of support and goodwill for refugees. But, to some extent, their idealism seems to have run up against the reality of the situation. They have since closed the borders. Does that affect your plans to bring your wife to Sweden?

Your information is not completely correct. Sweden did not close their borders, they just regulated them. For my wife, it’s different anyway, because she would enter Sweden under a different program, one that is not affected by these new regulations.

What’s the latest with her plan to join you?

I had my interview with an asylum officer last week, on November 6th. The result of that interview will determine my residency, and whether I can get political or humanitarian asylum. The lady said it looks good, and that they will update me soon. Then I can submit an application, and my wife will join me.

And have you started a language program?

Not yet. I’m only eligible for the nonofficial charities programs, but there are so many refugees trying to integrate and learn Swedish that there aren’t enough open slots! Once I get my residency permit, I’m guaranteed a slot.

You seemed to have landed on your feet. What advice would you give to another Syrian, still in Syria, who is considering making the journey to Europe?

Do it. Prepare to fully integrate, learn the language, adapt to the social structure, and embrace the culture. And he should love this new country from the bottom of his heart, because this new country accepted him.