So I’m in the kitchen, at work, contemplating which afternoon Tazo tea to pick. Refresh? Or awake? Life gets tough like that sometimes.

A colleague walks in, I acknowledge his presence by mumbling “hey”. What can I say, I’m an extrovert.

He opens the almond jar, grabs a handful of almonds and forces all of them down his mouth, like people on a Japanese subway. One go. He then proceeds by starting a conversation with me, while chewing on the almonds like a savage. He eats without ever fully closing his mouth.

It’s a massacre.

His face looks like an alien monster coming to eat up the town. Cro magnon man has nothing on this fella, and to make matters worse, yours truly is a bad case of misophonia.

I can feel the saliva slurping nut crushing sound run up my spine - ending in the form of a popping vein on my forehead.

I want to stab the guy in the eye with a plastic spoon.

But I don’t.

I muster all of my self control and grab a tea bag that reads: Zen.