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Imagine getting things your entire life and thinking you earned them, but then you come to find out that the only reason you have them is because of your gender and the color of your skin. Now, of course, there are likely the few men who absolutely deserve to be where they are, but nearly every single white man truly believes they are part of that few. And even when they say they’re not, they still benefit from being white and male.

This is white male privilege.

It has nothing to do with socioeconomic status and everything to do with the systemic rules that have been written for white men by white men and perpetuated by a society that caters to this very thinking, even if only subconsiously. In fact, white men, upon finding out that they may not be as amazing as they previously surmised, feel they deserve to be comforted by the society and people they have been systemicly oppressing throughout their entire life, even if they were unaware they were doing so.

Think about that — to be so priviliged that you don’t even know how good you have it. They literally think they climbed the corporate ladder with only their bachelors degree and job experience as a part time employee at the local electronics store that one summer during college. Meanwhile, Marge with her MBA, 15 years of applicable job experience, and who is full of amazing ideas, is told to just wait for her turn. She’s also biting her tongue every five minutes as the mediocre white men take her ideas, make them their own, and get credit for them. Why do they get credit for them? Yes, it’s as simple as the fact that they are white and male. And remember — salaries, for the most part, are not commensurate with experience, because if that were the case, Marge would be making more than these men, but she’s not. So, yes, gender pay inequality is very, very, very real.

Even the most “progressive” men among us aren’t guilt free when it comes to perpetuating this very, very tired paradigm. It can even be said that many of these men are the very ones who get most defensive and like to push the myth that either white male privilege isn’t true, or they haven’t partaken in it. Newflash to these men — you have, and you are the very moment you deny the existence of your privilege. That’s how privileged you are — you don’t even see it. Lucky you.

The good news is — well, good for the rest of us who aren’t white men — the cat is out of the bag. We’re onto you, and in turn, you are slowly waking up to realize you’re not as amazing as previously thought. You may be, and this is tough to hear, average.

Unfortunately, instead of bettering themselves or reaching out to women and people of color to sing some form of redemption song, they’re not handling it very well. Instead, they’re turning to pseudo “intellectuals” like Jordan Peterson, Sam Harris, Dave Rubin, Ben Shapiro, Matt Walsh, and even former Fear Factor host and MMA connoisseur, Joe Rogan among others. Why are they turning to these men? Because besides seeing themselves as fellow mediocre white men who feel they deserve everything they have, they are getting messaging that makes themselves feel better. They are being told white male privilege isn’t real and toxic masculinity is only about men who rape and murder, not men who perpetuate systemic inequalities by their actions, behavior and words every day — because that would include themselves. That’s something they don’t want to hear and refuse to believe is true.

Like with the rest of their lives, these sort of men want to be told they are doing all the right things and that’s why they have everything they have. They listen to the words of Jordan Peterson tell them women who haven’t had children by the age of 30 aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be doing and women shouldn’t be trying to earn more. That women should be balancing life and work better. However, shouldn’t men be trying to balance life and work better, too? These men are told that pay inequity is not because of systemic bias, but because men simply work harder. All the things I aforementioned are being reaffirmed to make these men feel better. These men are being told that women and people of color want equality of outcome regardless of the situation or job. However, women and people of color simply want equity of opportunity and to be paid what they’re worth. If it were about equality of outcome, these men with lesser degrees and less experience would be the ones benefiting. Oh wait, they are the ones benefiting.

All across the country in nearly every kind of job — from business, to writers’ rooms, to technology, to art, to acting and directing, to journalism, to teaching, to trades, to politics, to working in religious professions — women and people of color are still being held back from opportunities. Not because of inability or lack of education, but because they simply aren’t white men.

Mediocre white men, you are being called out. You’re not the cat’s pajamas. You’re maybe, if you’re lucky, the cat’s toothbrush — ineffective but people still buy into you because they feel they should. You want the things that you feel you are already entitled to? Earn it. Like the rest of us.