Thirty One Returns!

Dear Friends,

I owe you an apology. I left this blog for all this time because I became discouraged. I found a new job, threw myself into a new relationship that seemed complicated and a little confusing. With Lance.

I fell in love. Being with him was enough to shut off all those voices of fear and uncertainty. He stayed a few weeks, and we laughed and kissed and dreamed. We wanted the same things – kids, a life together. I put my faith in him. And I was wrong.

We made plans, big ones. I quit my job, I moved to the other side of the world. And we never had a chance. From the moment he picked me up at the airport he was distant, strange, stiff. He was impatient, said something was wrong but he didn’t know what. I was alone. He couldn’t even hug me, much less support me through culture shock, jet lag and my own adjustment. He never did manage to find me again, love me again.

I’m still here, where it’s winter. I would be going home soon, if I still had a home. Instead, I’m moving back to the US to try to find a new job, a new place to live.

It looks as though I’m going to end this year more alone than I started it.

I’ll be posting again, my doves. I’ve missed you.

Yours,

Thirty One