Story highlights At age 5, Artem Kolesov, the son of two Russian pastors living outside Moscow, realized he was gay

But it took another 18 years before he had the courage to come out to his family, friends and, ultimately, the world

Artem Kolesov is a 23-year-old Russian violinist currently pursuing a master's at Roosevelt University in Chicago. The views expressed in this commentary are his own.

(CNN) One month ago, I could barely breathe as I recorded a video which I knew would change the course of my life. After 23 years of living in the closet, I was finally coming out on YouTube, for all the world to see.

As the son of two Russian Pentecostal pastors in Maloyaroslavetz, a small town an hour outside Moscow, I grew up believing being gay was an abomination -- a sin that guaranteed me a one-way ticket to hell.

Artem Kolesov

For as far back as I can remember, I'd sit in church and listen as my father and other elders of my church preached homophobia to their loyal congregants. Though it was often a taboo subject to explicitly discuss ("gay" was considered an unholy word), when they did, they'd say that the United States is suffering because of its large gay population. All the mass shootings and terrorism its people experience could be linked to the sins of the homosexual community, in their view. And with every such sermon, I'd walk away slightly more ashamed of my sexual identity than the day before.

It didn't help that I lived in one of the most conservative countries in the world. On television and in magazines, commentators would refer to homosexuality as a "Western disease," one that turned upstanding Russian citizens into degenerates.

I wasn't the type who wanted, or even knew how, to take on the church and the state-sponsored media.

Read More