#REIGNXRAY EQUESTRIAN CIA

##Season 1 Episode 1: "Butts"

**SHOW SYNOPSIS**

A pegasus pony named Reign Memer, after 15 years of working solo as one of the Equestrian CIA's best agents, is assigned a new partner: a green as grass earth pony named Ray Sunshine. Together they must investigate Equestria's toughest cases and maybe learn about friendship along the way.

**EPISODE SYNOPSIS**

Memer and Sunshine go out on their first assignment to discover why cutie marks have been disappearing from ponies' flanks in the desert town of Nightbridle.

**CAST (IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE)**

REIGN MEMER: Pegasus pony, cutie mark of a butt.

STRANGER: Pegasus pony, cutie mark of a tool that is a toothbrush on one end and a fork on the other.

GARBAGE PONY: Earth pony, cutie mark of a mattress.

MANEHATTANITE TWO: Earth pony, cutie mark of some rocks.

CLERK: Earth pony, cutie mark of a blue leaf.

MANEHATTANITE: Unicorn pony, cutie mark of three birds.

PONY TOTEM: Three earth ponies stacked on top of each other.

PONY TOTEM TWO: Three ponies stacked on top of each other, at least of whom is a pegasus or unicorn.

BABY PIGEON: A pigeon who is also a baby pigeon.

DAWG DOGSONG: Pegasus pony, cutie mark of a corgi.

WILLOW HEART: Unicorn pony, cutie mark of a jack russell/staffy/chihuahua and/or an aussie/collie.

NEIGH WHINNYER: Pegasus pony, cutie mark of a mandolin.

RAY SUNSHINE: Earth pony, cutie mark of a paperclip.

BRIAN: Earth pony, cutie mark of a sword.

POEMTRON: Robot modeled after a pegasus pony.

AMPERSANDTRON: Robot modeled after a unicorn pony.

POADTRON: Robot modeled after an earth pony.

INTENSÉMENT ORDINAIRE: Earth pony, no cutie mark.

ANONYMOUS GUESS: Unicorn pony, no cutie mark.

NIX IT: Pegasus pony, no cutie mark.

ACID MANE: Unicorn pony, no cutie mark.

PHILIP K. DICK: Earth pony, no cutie mark.

BOB: Earth pony, no cutie mark.

SUSHI GOLD: Pegasus pony, no cutie mark.

CUBBLES: Dragon.

BATS: Griffon.

AVERY HACKS: Pegasus pony, cutie mark of a dog.

DREAD BEAT: Earth pony, cutie mark of a dog.

FINEST GREENS: Unicorn pony, cutie mark of a dog.

WRAITH ACTUALLY: Earth pony, cutie mark of a dog.

KALE EASE: Pegasus pony, cutie mark of a dog.

TEVAK: Unicorn pony, cutie mark of a dog.

BEATA BEATRIX: Unicorn pony, cutie mark of a dog.

ISTARA: Earth pony, cutie mark of a dog.

RIME MARINER: Nine-headed serpent creature.

CERES: Earth pony, cutie mark of a record player.

BLECKI: Earth pony, cutie mark of a record.

PRINCESS CELESTIA: Alicorn pony.

PRINCESS LUNA: Alicorn pony.

I'M SORRY IF I FORGOT ANYONE I TRIED TO INCLUDE EVERYBODY WHO'S A REGULAR IN THE CHAT FOR AT LEAST LIKE A TINY APPEARANCE IN THIS PILOT BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF YOU :C. IF I FORGOT YOU WE CAN IMAGINE YOU WILL HAVE A STARRING ROLE IN EPISODE 2 WHEN NETFLIX AND HASBRO DECIDE TO PICK UP THE SHOW ❤xoxo.

**EXT. MANEHATTAN - BUSY SIDEWALK - DAY**

REIGN MEMER walks along the street. Other ponies are having pleasant conversations, pigeons are having happy pigeon time. As Memer walks, he GLANCES WITH SLIGHT SUSPICION at the things around him, including a pony across the street who glanced at him while talking with another pony, a pony in a window looking out at everypony, and a pony called STRANGER walking behind him.

As Memer is looking around, he gets blasted in the face by a bag of garbage that a garbage pony was throwing to a garbage pile. Memer is DAZED, causing the garbage pony's voice to be unfocused.

GARBAGE PONY

My fault! You alright over there?

Memer recovers from his daze. There is a GROSS BANANA PEEL hanging in his mane that he doesn't notice. He begins to walk on, but MANEHATTANITE TWO stops him.

MANEHATTANITE TWO

(amused)

Hold on, you've got something in your mane.

Manehattanite Two reaches up to get the gross banana peel out of Memer's mane, but Memer stops her.

REIGN MEMER

I'll get it.

Memer brushes the gross banana peel from his mane and continues on.

**EXT. MANEHATTAN - BUSY SIDEWALK - DAY**

Memer resumes trotting along. As he trots, he again SQUINTS BACK, and sees Stranger is still behind him. While looking back, Memer runs into another pony, MANEHATTANITE. Memer and Manehattanite both drop their possessions. From Manehattanite, a hat falls to the ground. From Memer, an EQUESTRIAN CIA BADGE and a PAIR OF HANDCUFFS fall to the ground.

The two collect their things. Manehattanite, collecting her hat first, begins to help Memer collect his handcuffs which have fallen behind her, but Memer stops her.

REIGN MEMER

I'll get it.

Manehattanite appears weirded out but moves along. Memer gets his handcuffs back and continues along down the street.

**EXT. MANEHATTAN - PARK - DAY**

Memer comes upon a group of ponies, PONY TOTEM, apparently trying to get a FRISBEE out of a tree by stacking up on each other's shoulders. Pony Totem is calling out to people who pass by for one more to join the totem so they can reach the frisbee.

As Memer passes by Pony Totem, Pony Totem calls out to Memer specifically.

PONY TOTEM

You sir! Please feel free at any time to get in on this pony pile!

Memer SQUINTS up and sees the top pony of Pony Totem reaching up for the frisbee in the tree.

REIGN MEMER

I'll get it.

Using his wings, Memer SWOOPS up into the tree and lands back on the ground. He hands the frisbee to the bottom pony of Pony Totem, who accepts it without seeming super enthused. Memer then walks on. The ponies in Pony Totem shrug to one another. The ponies hand the frisbee up until the top pony is holding it.

We then see a wide shot of Pony Totem throwing the frisbee to another totem of ponies, PONY TOTEM TWO, a little ways away in the park.

As he exits the park, Memer SQUINTS WITH GREAT SUSPICION back and sees Stranger still following after him at a distance.

**EXT. MANEHATTAN - BUSY SIDEWALK - DAY**

In this scene, Memer encounters BABY PIGEON. Memer watches as a pony tosses something into an overfull trash bin, which causes a basket of GROSS CHEESY FRIES to fall out on the other side of the trash bin. The gross cheesy fries land on Baby Pigeon. The other pigeons nearby Baby Pigeon fly off, while Baby Pigeon stays, unable to fly, possibly from being too weighed down now by gross cheesy fries cheese.

Memer approaches Baby Pigeon. He LOOKS up to a power line, where the rest of the pigeons are looking back down at him. Memer PICKS UP Baby Pigeon and puts Baby Pigeon on his back, giving the pigeon a ride as he continues on.

**EXT. MANEHATTAN - BUSY SIDEWALK - DAY**

With Baby Pigeon still on his back, Memer trots up the steps of a shop and EXITS the street through the shop door.

**INT. SHOP - DAY**

Memer places a newspaper on the shop counter. After he does, he SQUINTS WITH SUSPICION back once again and sees Stranger ENTERING the shop. Memer sets Baby Pigeon on the shop counter. An establishing shot from overhead shows that the only ones in the small shop are Memer, Baby Pigeon, Stranger, and THE CLERK.

As soon as Stranger has entered the shop, Memer quickly closes the blinds and jams the door using his newspaper. We see a quick exterior shot of the curtains closing and of a pony trying to use the door but finding it jammed. Using his wings, Memer swoops over and tackles Stranger, PINNING him against a wall, the two of them standing upright.

The clerk looks on with jaw dropped. Memer produces his BADGE and holds it up towards the clerk.

REIGN MEMER

(speaking to the clerk)

Reign Memer, Equestrian CIA.

Memer stows the badge.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

(speaking to Stranger)

Who are you? Why are you following me?

Stranger STAMMERS.

Memer SQUINTS at Stranger's CUTIE MARK, which depicts a tool that is a toothbrush on one end and a fork on the other.

REIGN MEMER

Let me guess. Toothbrush Forkle? Fork Tine Bristle? Mint Spaghetti Buttbreath?

STRANGER

(stuttering, frightened)

Lou. My uh, friends call me Super Lou.

Memer SQUINTS INTENSELY into Stranger's eyes. Stranger returns Memer's stare, frightened. Memer STEPS BACK, resuming the natural all-fours method of equine standing. Memer walks towards the door, and Stranger resumes standing on all fours after Memer has gotten far enough away.

At the door, Memer picks up his newspaper. Before opening the door, Memer PAUSES. He turns around and heads back to the counter. In an overhead shot, we see that as Memer walks to the counter, Stranger walks to the door, giving Memer a wide berth. At the counter, Memer picks out two packages of gum and pays for them. He stows his gum and his newspaper into hammerspace, and puts Baby Pigeon on his back again.

Memer turns and heads for the door again. Stranger HOLDS THE DOOR for Memer. Memer STOPS. He horse-snorts angrily at Stranger.

REIGN MEMER

I'll get it.

Stranger's expression changes from fear to fear plus concern. He BACKS AWAY from the door, letting the door fall closed.

Memer goes to the door, opens it himself, and EXITS the shop.

**EXT. MANEHATTAN - EQUESTRIAN CIA PLAZA - DAY**

In a wide overhead establishing shot, Memer approaches the Equestrian CIA headquarters.

At the fountain out front, Memer sets Baby Pigeon down at the edge of the giant fountain in the plaza's center. Baby Pigeon hops into the water, splashes around, and comes back out clean.

Memer continues on towards the headquarters, leaving Baby Pigeon at the fountain.

**INT. EQUESTRIAN CIA HQ - OFFICES**

Memer trots along a line of cubicles. As he passes by the cubicle of DAWG DOGSONG, he tosses Dogsong one of the packages of gum.

REIGN MEMER

Mint.

At the next cubicle, he tosses his other package of gum to WILLOW HEART.

REIGN MEMER

Cinnamon.

Memer arrives at his cubicle. The cubicle has an ELECTRIC GUITAR plugged into a PAIR OF HEADPHONES, as well as a DESK and a SWIVEL CHAIR. Memer sits back in his swivel chair and opens up his newspaper. As soon as he opens his newspaper, his phone rings.

Memer answers the phone. On the other end is director of the Equestrian CIA, NEIGH WHINNYER.

REIGN MEMER

G'day g'day.

NEIGH WHINNYER

Morning. I have a new case for you Mr. Memer.

REIGN MEMER

I'll be right down.

Memer tosses his newspaper onto his desk and heads out.

At an elevator, Memer enters, waits for the doors to close, and then opens a HIDDEN PANEL where he enters a secret code. The elevator hums as it descends.

**INT. EQUESTRIAN CIA HQ - DIRECTOR'S OFFICE**

Memer exits the elevator, arriving at the spacious office of the director. Whinnyer sits behind his desk. In front of the desk are two chairs, one of which is occupied by RAY SUNSHINE. Sunshine smiles back at Memer.

Not recognizing Sunshine, Memer keeps a short distance, not approaching all the way.

NEIGH WHINNYER

Mr. Memer, have a seat.

At the director's insistence, Memer walks the rest of the way forward and takes a seat.

NEIGH WHINNYER

Not far from Appleloosa is a small pony township called Nightbridle.

Whinnyer slides a FOLDER across the desk towards Memer. Memer opens the folder up, finding inside pictures of Nightbridle, a map of the town, and a few papers of text.

Sunshine attempts to lean over and look at the contents of the folder with Memer, but Memer turns so that Sunshine can't see the folder's contents.

NEIGH WHINNYER

Over the course of the last month, six ponies in Nightbridle have had their cutie marks disappear. The first five report their cutie marks disappeared in their sleep, while the most recent victim, Mayor Intensément ordinaire, reports that hers disappeared while she was up late at town hall catching up on some mayoral work. As our specialist in cases pertaining to cutie mark magic--

REIGN MEMER

(not looking up from the folder)

Butt magic.

Memer holds his hoof up for Sunshine to high five. Sunshine highfives Memer.

NEIGH WHINNYER (CONT'D)

(now hesitant)

I believe you are the most well-suited agent for this assignment.

REIGN MEMER

(refering to Starlight Glimmer)

Do we have a location on Starlight?

NEIGH WHINNYER

Crystal Empire. Doesn't seem to have ever set foot in Nighbridle or have any contacts there.

REIGN MEMER

Could be a copycat act.

NEIGH WHINNYER

That would certainly be a difficult act to copy.

REIGN MEMER

I don't think the difficulty inherently rules it out. Even if it only happened the once before with Starlight, that does set a precedent.

NEIGH WHINNYER

True.

REIGN MEMER

Okay. I'll be on the next train to Nightbridle.

Memer looks to Sunshine, who is still smiling.

REIGN MEMER

Okay who is this?

NEIGH WHINNYER

Reign Memer, it is my pleasure to introduce you to your new partner, Ray Sunshine.

Memer brings his head back and opens his eyes wide in surprise. Then he SQUINTS AGGRESSIVELY and leans forward towards Sunshine.

REIGN MEMER

(aggressively at Sunshine)

Noooooooooooooo--

REIGNXRAY EQUESTRIAN CIA THEME SEQUENCE PLAYS.

**INT. EQUESTRIAN CIA HQ - DIRECTOR'S OFFICE**

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

(aggressively at Sunshine)

--oooooooooo. No. Nnnnnnnno.

RAY SUNSHINE

I--

REIGN MEMER

No.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

(towards Whinnyer)

I do missions alone.

NEIGH WHINNYER

Mr. Memer, I will replace you with a do-it-alone robot the second they are finished. Until then, I need you to saddle up and get back to doing this the normal pony way: you're getting a partner.

REIGN MEMER

I don't do partners.

NEIGH WHINNYER

If you want me to keep giving you assignments Mr. Memer, you're going to **remember** how to do partners. Every year I keep letting you go solo, you get more and more reckless. Do I have to remind you of the Cloudsdale Debacle?

REIGN MEMER

That was **one** city block dislodged **momentarily** from--

NEIGH WHINNYER

How about all the agents I had to take off their missions so we could clean up after you in Canterlot?

REIGN MEMER

(hurt, defensive)

I got the guy!

NEIGH WHINNYER

How about last week in Las Pegasus when you--

Memer reaches over and covers Sunshine's ears, muting the rest of Whinnyer's statement from the audience. When Whinnyer finishes speaking, Memer takes his hoofs off of Sunshine's ears.

REIGN MEMER

Point taken. I'll bring the kid with to Nightbridle. Best behavior. At least nine out of ten behavior.

Memer gets off of his chair.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

(to Sunshine)

Let's go rookie. On the way I'm gonna tell you allll about Canterlot.

Sunshine gets up and follows after Memer.

RAY SUNSHINE

I think I'd rather hear about Las Pegasus.

REIGN MEMER

Nah, we'd need a far longer train ride.

Memer and Sunshine EXIT through the elevator.

Whinnyer picks up the phone on his desk and makes a call to BRIAN.

NEIGH WHINNYER

Brian, how are the robots coming along?

Cut away to Brian standing in a room with POEMTRON, AMPERSANDTRON, and POADTRON. The middle of the room is filled with lasers, and at the opposite end of the room is a briefcase on a pillar. Holding the phone, Brian makes a :| face as each robot walks one after the other straight into the lasers, each robot going slower than the last but all of them equally wrecking themselves on the very first laser.

BRIAN

Bad.

**EXT. NIGHTBRIDLE - TRAIN TRACKS - EARLY EVENING**

Memer and Sunshine hop off of a train. There isn't even really a train station here, the train just stopped along the tracks to let them off. The ground is deserty.

REIGN MEMER

And that's what happened in Canterlot.

RAY SUNSHINE

Was the part about the piñata full of gold a metaphor, or--

REIGN MEMER

If it was a metaphor it was a very difficult to carry metaphor.

We see a shot of Memer and Sunshine looking out to Nighbridle, which is in the distance, down a lengthy slope of twisty rock features, with canyons and plateaus along the way. At the edge of Nightbridle is a radio tower.

Memer and Sunshine begin walking along the path towards town.

REIGN MEMER

So what's your story kid? Why are you in the Equestrian CIA bothering me now?

As Sunshine gives his answer, we see clips or slides of the scenes as he tells Memer about them. At each $ sign in Sunshine's story, Memer says "Yup" or "Uhuh" or something to indicate he's listening.

RAY SUNSHINE

(VO)

Well, I was in the front lobby$, and it was the middle of the night$, and a couple people called in sick so I was the only one working$, and I got a message on my walkie talkie about an incident in the director's office$, and I said I was the only one working and I wasn't authorized to be anywhere near there$, but the director got on the line and said he didn't care who took care of it as long as it got taken care of$, so I dropped what I was doing in the lobby$, talked the front-desk pony into letting me into the maintenance hall$, tailgated after somepony to get into the secret offices$, picked a lock to get into the top secret offices$, dissolved a lock with some things I found around to get into the server room$, borrowed a laptop and plugged it in to the servers and found the schematics for the building so I could find the director's office$, went to the director's office$, got taken into custody, they asked me how I did it and who I was working for,

REIGN MEMER

Wait.

RAY SUNSHINE

--I explained everything to them and they watched the security tapes,

REIGN MEMER

Wait.

RAY SUNSHINE

--and they offered me a job as an agent.

Memer puts a hoof over Sunshine's mouth, halting their walk.

REIGN MEMER

Wait. You're a janitor?

Memer takes his hoof off of Sunshine's mouth.

RAY SUNSHINE

I think they officially made me an agent. My badge might still say janitor on it.

Sunshine takes out his EQUESTRIAN CIA BADGE and looks at it.

RAY SUNSHINE

Ah, nope, says agent. Phew.

Sunshine puts his badge away.

Memer turns his head exacerbatedly up to the sky and groans, continuing his groan as the two of them resume walking. Before leaving this scene, we see them walk past a MURAL on a rockface of a nine-headed serpent.

**EXT. NIGHTBRIDLE - TOWN SQUARE - EVENING**

Memer and Sunshine walk through town. We see several RADIOS around on steps and in storefront windows and such, and can hear them playing as Memer and Sunshine pass by. Memer and Sunshine arrive at town square. At the center of the town square is a statue of a pony dressed in robes. In the background, behind the buildings, we can see the radio tower. Also in the town square is another mural of the same nine-headed serpent, though this mural is hidden via camera angles until later in the scene.

As Memer and Sunshine arrive at the town square, Memer is still looking up at the sky and groaning. While he continues to groan, he and Sunshine are approached by the mayor, INTENSÉMENT ORDINAIRE.

INTENSÉMENT ORDINAIRE

(overjoyed)

Welcome to Nightb--

Memer holds up a hoof towards the mayor, silencing her as he continues to groan. He groans even louder and more exacerbatedly for a bit longer, then stops, lowering his head back to its normal position and lowering his hoof as well. Memer takes out his badge and shows it to Ordinaire.

REIGN MEMER

(professional)

Agent Reign Memer, Equestrian CIA, cutie mark magic special cases specialist. This is my partner Agent Ray Sunshine, Equestrian CIA, infiltration and cleanup specialist.

Sunshine, having seen Memer take out his badge, fumbles to take out his badge as well as Memer is talking. As soon as he's gotten it out and presented it, Memer puts his own badge away, and Sunshine puts his badge back as well.

INTENSÉMENT ORDINAIRE

(still polite)

Oh my, I didn't realize we would be getting such experts to work on this. I'm Mayor Intensément Ordinaire. Welcome to Nightbridle.

Big overhead shot showing the town. The shot is not from directly overhead, but is in fact from the perspective somepony might have if they were to climb halfway up the radio tower.

Ordinaire and Memer shake hands, and then Ordinaire and Sunshine shake hands.

REIGN MEMER

So I understand six cutie marks have gone missing, including your own.

INTENSÉMENT ORDINAIRE

That's correct.

REIGN MEMER

Have any more gone missing?

INTENSÉMENT ORDINAIRE

No, currently it's just the six, but we're worried it's only a matter of time before more start disappearing.

Memer takes out a pair of folders and sets them on the ground. One is the folder Whinnyer gave him, the other is his own. Memer takes a large photo out of his own folder and holds it up to Ordinaire. The photo depicts the stick Starlight Glimmer used when enslaving her village.

REIGN MEMER

Has anypony been walking around with a stick such as this one? It doesn't have to look exactly the same.

INTENSÉMENT ORDINAIRE

(thinking as she's speaking)

I can't say I've seen anypony walking around with anything unusual, no.

RAY SUNSHINE

Does anypony have evil-looking eyes that they didn't have before?

As soon as Sunshine began speaking, Memer began SQUINTING SKEPTICALLY at him.

INTENSÉMENT ORDINAIRE

(again thinking as she's speaking)

No, I can't say I've seen anypony with evil-looking eyes either.

Memer continues to squint aggressively at Sunshine. Sunshine shrugs happily.

RAY SUNSHINE

It seems like a lot of times somepony is using evil magic their eyes are a different color.

Memer shakes his head, and returns his attention to the mayor. As Memer speaks, Sunshine gets distracted looking at the mural of the nine-headed serpent.

REIGN MEMER

Mayor Intensément Ordinaire, in cases of magic effecting a populace rather than an individual or tight-knit group, it could be possible that nopony at all is behind it, but that there are larger forces at work. Tell me, has Nightbridle's feelings on cutie marks or butts as a whole undergone any paradigm shifts as of late?

The mayor scoffs.

INTENSÉMENT ORDINAIRE

Mr. Memer, with all due respect, I'd think that if it was as simple as collectively appreciating the beauty of butts, our problem would have been quite solved by now.

REIGN MEMER

(whispering to Sunshine)

She didn't do it.

As Memer whispers to Sunshine, Sunshine's attention returns to the conversation.

REIGN MEMER

(to Ordinaire)

Thank you Mayor Intensément Ordinaire. We'll begin this investigation by interviewing everypony whose cutie mark has disappeared. We may come back to you afterwards with some follow-up questions.

**EXT. NIGHTBRIDLE - MOTEL ROOM - LATE EVENING**

We see five rapid shots of Memer and Sunshine approaching the other five ponies whose cutie marks have gone missing: ANONYMOUS GUESS, NIX IT, ACID MANE, PHILIP K. DICK, and BOB. In each shot, we can see a radio sitting around somewhere. Over the shots, Memer speaks.

REIGN MEMER

(VO)

Okay kid, let's figure this out.

As Memer says the name of each pony, we see a shot of Memer and Sunshine speaking to that pony. The conversation with Ordinaire is a new conversation they've had with her since speaking in the town square.

REIGN MEMER

(VO)

We have Intensément Ordinaire, Anonymous Guess, Nix It, Acid Mane, Philip K. Dick, and Bob--his friends call him Mighty Bob.

Here we cut to where Memer and Sunshine are: standing in a motel room that has a conspiracy diagram all over a wall, with photographs and bits of paper and lengths of string connecting everything together. At the center of the diagram are six photographs of the ponies whose cutie marks have been taken. Beside each pony is a hoof-drawn sketch of what their cutie mark looks like.

As Memer continues, he points to each pony as he speaks about them. While speaking about the consequences of their cutie mark disappearing, he points to some photograph or document showing those consequences.

REIGN MEMER

Intensément Ordinaire, mayor of Nightbridle: doesn't have deep-seated radical opinions on cutie marks, has been struggling to perform her mayoral duties since her cutie mark disappeared, nothing has been getting done at town hall as a result.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

Anonymous Guess, Nightbridle's sheriff: doesn't have deep-seated radical opinions on cutie marks, has been struggling to keep the peace since her cutie mark disappeared, petty theft and vandalization have been on the rise as a result.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

Nix It, keeps Nightbridle's windmills going by corralling in plenty of wind: doesn't have deep-seated radical opinions on cutie marks, has been struggling to effect the weather since her cutie mark disappeared, windmills have been operating at a third their usual efficiency as a result.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

Acid Mane, owner and operator of Nightbridle's Jars of Acid Emporium: doesn't have deep-seated radical opinions on cutie marks, has been struggling to keep track of shipments since his cutie mark disappeared, jars of acid have been shipped to unfortunate destinations as a result--but luckily only to humorous effect.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

Philip K. Dick, Nightbridle's shock-sheep herder: doesn't have deep-seated radical opinions on cutie marks, has been struggling to make his flock behave since his cutie mark disappeared, shock sheep have been running rampant all over town as a result. Including in the Jars of Acid Emporium.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

Bob, AKA Mighty Bob, pulls the cart of imports and exports back and forth from the train tracks: doesn't have deep-seated radical opinions on cutie marks, has been struggling to pull the cart since his cutie mark disappeared, has had to get help as a result--usually from one of the other five, since they're not doing so hot at their own things anyways.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

Alright Sunshine, who did it?

RAY SUNSHINE

None of them.

Memer highfives Sunshine.

REIGN MEMER

How can you tell?

RAY SUNSHINE

None of them had evil eyes.

REIGN MEMER

Okay give me that back.

Memer puts his hoof on Sunshine's hoof, and the hive five clop sound effect plays in reverse.

REIGN MEMER

All of these ponies have been genuinely effected by the loss of their cutie marks. If any of them were faking it, they would have cashed in by now, especially if they caught word that Equestrian CIA would be coming here poking around.

Sunshine points to a picture on the diagram of the nine-headed serpent mural in town.

RAY SUNSHINE

(excitedly)

Or maybe it was Rime Mariner, the fabled nine-headed serpent who was found in an ancient slumber in a cave beneath the town and sealed inside generations ago behind a hidden entrance that nopony knows the location of anymore!

REIGN MEMER

(unimpressed)

If we decided it **was** Rime Mariner, would we be able to find the long-lost entrance to the cave to confront them?

Sunshine puts his hoof on his chin in thought, then puts the hoof on the ground and looks downwards in defeat.

Memer and Sunshine look more at the board.

REIGN MEMER

There's gotta be something in here that we missed.

Memer and Sunshine think a little more, and then Sunshine gets an idea.

As Sunshine speaks, we fade to more conversations from the interviews.

RAY SUNSHINE

(hoof on chin, fade to VO)

All of them said that their cutie mark disappeared in their sleep. They also all mentioned waking up feeling sore that morning.

Return to Memer and Sunshine.

REIGN MEMER

Do you make anything of that?

Sunshine thinks, rubbing his chin with his hoof.

RAY SUNSHINE

Let me go check something.

Sunshine drops out of frame, and we then see seven quick shots of Sunshine looking into windows, with us as the camera being on the interior side of the window and Sunshine on the exterior side of the window. Sunshine is looking into the six bedrooms of the ponies whose cutie marks have disappeared. Nearby each pony's bed is a RADIO. Beside Ordinaire's bed is not a radio, but then Sunshine checks in her office and sees a radio on her desk.

Sunshine returns to Memer.

RAY SUNSHINE

I think everypony whose cutie mark has disappeared sleeps with the radio on.

Memer and Sunshine look out of the window of the room they're in, up at the RADIO TOWER that has been looming over the town. Memer re-highfives Sunshine.

REIGN MEMER

Let's go poke around.

**EXT. NIGHTBRIDLE - RADIO TOWER - LATE EVENING**

Memer and Sunshine arrive at the base of the radio tower, and look up it. The tower has four legs which grow closer together as they get nearer the top, as well as a central column which holds a bundle of cords running up the tower. The bundle of cords come up to the tower from a nearby building. Memer and Sunshine look into the large window at the front of the building, and see that it's a radio DJ building with nopony inside.

Memer and Sunshine follow along the cords back to the tower. Memer spots a SUSPICIOUS BOX about two pony totems high up on the central column. Memer SWOOPS up, and grabs on to one of the tower's legs to hang from as he leans towards the box and examines it.

The box, which is spiked into the cords, has an LCD calculator-like display on the front which reads SUSHI GOLD. There is also a mini keyboard below it where a new name can presumably be punched in.

REIGN MEMER

(to himself)

Hot Carl.

Memer hops back down from the tower and lands beside Sunshine, quickly moving into a walk and pulling Sunshine with a wing, making Sunshine walk along too.

REIGN MEMER

Time for your first stakeout kid. Let's hurry and hope we didn't already miss anything.

**EXT. NIGHTBRIDLE - PLATEAU - NIGHT**

Memer and Sunshine are staked out on one of the plateaus that are adjacent to the town. Memer and Sunshine each have a pair of HEAT-VISION BINOCULARS. There is also a map of the town and some various papers beside them. They also have a radio with them.

Memer and Sunshine are looking through their binoculars.

REIGN MEMER

Looks like Sushi Gold is still in her house.

As Memer speaks, we see through his binoculars, showing that he can see the heat signatures of ponies in their homes. We see that Gold is in bed, presumably asleep.

Cutting back to Memer and Sunshine, Sunshine reaches over and bats at Memer's shoulder to get Memer's attention.

RAY SUNSHINE

Memer Memer Memer, what in Celestia's mane is **that**?

REIGN MEMER

What, where?

RAY SUNSHINE

One block left and up of Gold's house, moving fast.

We see again through Memer's binoculars as he moves to find what Sunshine is talking about. Memer quickly spots the heat signature of a PONY-SIZED DRAGON named CUBBLES.

Memer closes his eyes, turns his head up to the sky, and begins groaning.

Suddenly, a GRIFFON named BATS slides up in between Memer and Sunshine, holding their own pair of binoculars. Sunshine rolls away and screams in surprise, while Memer continues to look up to the sky with his eyes closed, groaning.

BATS

(cheerful)

Hey Memer. New partner?

Memer stops continuously groaning.

REIGN MEMER

(groanfully)

Yes.

BATS

You here for the cutie mark case?

REIGN MEMER

(more groanfully)

Yes.

At this point, Sunshine returns to where he was positioned originally, so that the lineup from the perspective of looking over their shoulders at the town consists of Memer, Bats, and Sunshine from left to right.

RAY SUNSHINE

(to Bats)

Were you assigned to this case too?

BATS

Name's Bats.

Bats reaches out and shakes claw/hoof with Sunshine.

BATS

I do freelance work with my friend Cubbles, the dragon you spotted down there. We were hired by Mayor Intensément ordinaire to figure out this case of disappearing cutie marks.

RAY SUNSHINE

Oh. Well we were just--

REIGN MEMER

Don't tell them anything. Everything we do can be considered classified.

BATS

(to Sunshine)

Don't worry about him, I'm used to it. Something will go wrong and he'll tell me everything and then together me and him and Cubbles will get everything back under control and there will still be a thousand loose ends but we'll solve the case.

Bats takes out a WALKIE TALKIE, which makes a walkie talkie sound as they pull it out.

BATS

(to Cubbles via walkie talkie)

Cubbles, make a right and then it's the house straight on your left. Make yourself scarce but keep close. Memer is spying on a...

Bats looks closely into their binoculars.

BATS

(to Cubbles)

--pegasus pony in that house named Sashimi Gold.

Memer sighs.

REIGN MEMER

(begrudgingly)

It was Sushi Gold.

BATS

(to Cubbles)

Strike my last on the name. The name is Sushi Gold.

BATS (CONT'D)

(to Memer, poking fun)

Wow we're not even waiting until everything goes wrong before you tell me everything now? Or has everything already gone wrong? Did we get here late?

Memer grumbles.

Brief pause before Cubbles responds.

CUBBLES

(through walkie talkie)

Copy, Bats. You got eyes on me?

BATS

Roger Roger.

CUBBLES

On my way.

The three on the plateau look through their binoculars for a couple beats.

REIGN MEMER

Oh, right!

Memer reaches over and turns on the radio, picking up the station that the Nightbridle radio tower is playing. The station is playing relaxing classical music.

Time progresses, and we fade between a few shots of the three on the plateau over time, with Memer in basically exactly the same position each time, and Bats and Sunshine in a bunch of different positions like sitting human-style, sitting quadruped-style, lying on back and looking through binoculars upside-down with head off the edge of the plateau, etc.

We return to real time as the radio's relaxing classical music fades out. In its place, a numbers-station style broadcast begins, with an odd sound effect and then a robotic voice. Sunshine looks up from his binoculars at the radio, then looks back into his binoculars.

ROBITIC VOICE

Today, the weather in Appleloosa is: clear skies, warm temperatures. This night's special prize goes to: Saddle, Umbrella, Saddle, Hotel, Indigo--Gallop, Oak, Leg, Dapper.

Another odd sound effect plays.

Through Memer's binoculars, we see Gold get up from bed.

Bats takes out their walkie talkie.

BATS

(to Cubbles)

She's moving. Be ready to track.

CUBBLES

(through walkie talkie)

10-4.

On the radio, relaxing music fades back in.

Through Memer's binoculars, we see Gold leave her house and begin walking down the street. Cubbles follows at a distance behind her.

We cut back to the three on the plateau.

BATS

(to Cubbles)

What's the situation?

CUBBLES

(through walkie talkie)

Looks like she's sleepwalking.

We see again through Memer's binoculars as Gold arrives at the town square. Cubbles hangs back at the edge of the square. Gold approaches the statue at the center of the square and begins pushing on the statue.

CUBBLES

(through walkie talkie)

She's giving it her all.

Soon, the statue begins to slide back.

CUBBLES

(through walkie talkie)

Holy moly.

Gold walks down into the ground into a hole that she uncovered from under the statue. As soon as she's in, the statue begins moving back shut.

CUBBLES

(hastily, through walkie talkie)

Target lost. Should I pursue?

Bats worriedly considers it.

BATS

(to Cubbles)

Negative. I'll be right down and we'll go in together.

With that, Bats does a huge flap of their wings and takes off, heading straight towards the town square.

REIGN MEMER

That's our signal too, kid. Grab on.

Memer stands up and holds out his hoof. Sunshine takes Memer's hoof, and then Memer grabs Sunshine and jumps off the edge of the plateau. The two SWOOP down to the ground, Sunshine being held under Memer. When they land, they begin running towards town.

**EXT. NIGHTBRIDLE - TOWN SQUARE - NIGHT**

Memer and Sunshine arrive at town square to find Bats and Cubbles pushing on the statue. Memer and Sunshine join in, and the four are quickly able to push the statue back, revealing a hidden staircase that leads down into darkness. The four quickly head down, leaving the passage open behind themselves.

**INT. UNDERGROUND FACILITY**

Memer, Sunshine, Bats, and Cubbles arrive at the bottom of a staircase, where they find themselves in a well-lit room with white panel walls, floors, and ceiling. In front of them is a big circular vault-style door with a computer terminal beside it.

Sunshine and Bats try to open the vault door, but it won't budge whatsoever.

Memer trots up to the terminal.

REIGN MEMER

Hang on I know someone who can hack this.

Memer takes out a phone and holds it up to his ear. The screen splits to show Reign Memer on one side and Dawg Dogsong on the other.

DAWG DOGSONG

G'day g'day Memer.

REIGN MEMER

Dawg Dogsong, I need you to hack open a door for me.

DAWG DOGSONG

Can you plug me in?

With the screen still split between the two of them, Memer takes out a cord and plugs his phone into the terminal, and Dogsong begins typing. After a couple seconds of typing, the vault door makes sounds that indicates it's starting to open.

DAWG DOGSONG

Alright you should be good.

REIGN MEMER

Thanks.

Memer puts away his phone and cord, and the screen stops begin split as we return focus to just Memer and company. Hastily, Memer trots over to Sunshine, grabs him, and then SWOOPS into the door just as it's barely open enough to fit them. On the other side, Memer hits a button that closes the door again, locking Bats and Cubbles out.

REIGN MEMER

Ha! Get wrecked!

Sunshine dusts himself off.

RAY SUNSHINE

Are you sure we don't want their help?

REIGN MEMER

We got this kid.

Memer and Sunshine turn to go deeper into the underground facility, and we see that there's immediately another big huge door stopping them.

REIGN MEMER

Hang on I know someone who can hack this.

Memer takes out a phone and holds it up to his ear. The screen splits to show Reign Memer on one side and Willow Heart on the other.

WILLOW HEART

Heya Memer.

REIGN MEMER

Willow Heart, I need you to hack open a door for me.

WILLOW HEART

Can you plug me in? Actually never mind I'll do it wirelessly.

With the screen still split between the two of them, Heart begins typing. After a couple seconds of typing, the vault door makes sounds that indicates it's starting to open.

WILLOW HEART

Open sesame.

REIGN MEMER

Thanks.

Memer puts away his phone, and the screen stops begin split as we return focus to just Memer and Sunshine. Memer and Sunshine step through the door and immediately arrive at a third door. Memer looks up to the sky and groans, taking out his phone and putting it to his ear as he does. The screen once again splits.

REIGN MEMER

Hi, Avery Hacks?

Slide wipe to Memer and Sunshine through the door and immediately at a fourth door. Memer takes out his phone again and again the screen splits.

REIGN MEMER

G'day, Dread Beat.

From here, we montage through a bunch of different-looking super-locked doors as Memer calls in hacking experts to open them. The screen is split with like a bunch of different-sized picture-in-picture boxes so that we constantly have between two and five views at once, of the different doors, Memer and Sunshine, things Sunshine is looking at in the rooms, and the hackers Memer is calling before during and after their calls.

FINEST GREENS is watering a bunch of plants around his room. WRAITH ACTUALLY is juggling an increasingly silly number of things, even while typing. KALE EASE is making a v healthy kale smoothie. TEVAK is also making a smoothie that at first appears to be the same as the one Kale Ease is making except Tevak's ends up having silly ingredients in it as well. BEATA BEATRIX has like five other calls she's taking in addition to Memer's. ISTARA is watering plants, juggling, making two smoothies, and taking a bunch of calls.

The doors in this sequence are no longer immediately in front of one another: between each door is a stairway or two leading downward, so that by the time Memer and Sunshine get through all of the doors, they've gotten quite deep underground.

REIGN MEMER

Aloha Finest Greens. I need you to hack open a door for me.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

Howdy Wraith Actually. I need you to hack open a door for me.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

Kale Ease. I need you to hack open a door for me.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

Tevak. I need you to hack open a door for me.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

Hello Beata Beatrix. I need you to hack open a door for me.

REIGN MEMER (CONT'D)

Hiya Istara. I need you to hack open a door for me.

Finally, Memer and Sunshine make it through all the doors and arrive at the actual main room of the underground facility. As they are entering through the final door, Gold is sleepwalking back out, missing her cutie mark. Sunshine is freaked out that another pony has lost their cutie mark and he goes to wake her up, but Memer stops Sunshine and keeps the door open so Gold can leave to the safety of the town above. The door closes behind her, shutting Memer and Sunshine inside.

The main part of the underground facility is no longer white panels, but is now instead au naturale, with cave-y brown rock walls, grass and other vegetation underhoof, and light coming from a bunch of crystals around the room. At the center of the room, at first obscured behind some trees but occupying most of the room's space, is a big pond, with a shipwreck mostly on one edge but bits of ship scattered all around. There are two SERPENT HEADS sticking out of the water and speaking to one another.

Memer and Sunshine peak around the trees and see the pond and serpent heads. Memer and Sunshine observe as the serpent heads speak to one another. We quickly see that the serpent heads have CUTIE MARKS on their foreheads. Serpent head one has Gold's cutie mark, and serpent head two has Ordinaire's cutie mark.

SERPENT HEAD ONE

Oh yes, this one will do marvelously. Thank you.

SERPENT HEAD TWO

But of course. Our return to the skies is nearly complete.

SERPENT HEAD ONE

I apologize for the way I behaved myself before getting this fabulous cutie mark. Were we always so coarse with one another?

Another serpent head emerges angrily from the water, and serpent head one catches it with his teeth and wrestles it back and forth. Then a fourth serpent head emerges angrily from the water, and serpent head two catches it and holds it. Behind the two angry serpent heads, two more serpent heads with cutie marks emerge from the water and take hold of the cutie-mark-less heads and pull the cutie-mark-less heads back underwater. The two new serpent heads with cutie marks then reemerge, and join the conversation with the initial two serpent heads.

SERPENT HEAD FIVE

I'm afraid you were indeed much like them.

SERPENT HEAD SIX

It's simply our way.

SERPENT HEAD TWO

But with the powers of friendship that these ponies possess, we shall remember once again how to be one.

REIGN MEMER

(raising voice)

Not today, buttfaces.

Memer steps out from behind cover, and Sunshine reluctantly follows after. Memer takes out his badge and shows it to the serpent heads. More heads emerge from the water, so that the seven heads with cutie marks are looking at Memer and Sunshine, while the two without cutie marks are still underwater. One of the cutie-mark-less heads comes up briefly, but a head with a cutie mark pushes it back down and then comes back up again.

SERPENT HEAD ONE

Wh--the cutie marks are on their **butts**?

The other serpent heads sigh.

SERPENT HEAD SIX

We were going to tell you they were on the butts.

Serpent head one knocks his forehead against the ground on the edge of the pond, causing the cutie mark to break off from his forehead and begin floating in the air. Serpent head two quickly goes to the floating cutie mark and nudges it with his nose back onto serpent head one's forehead.

SERPENT HEAD TWO

The fact that the cutie marks are on their butts is a **small** price to pay for regaining our unity.

Serpent head one grumbles uncomfortably.

Suddenly, Memer SWOOPS by and KICKS serpent head two in the forehead, momentarily dazing serpent head two and causing serpent head two's cutie mark to come off. As Memer is gliding away, he is GRABBED by another serpent head and held NONINJURINGLY in its JAWS. Memer STRUGGLES to get free. Another serpent head grabs Sunshine as well. Another serpent head takes the floating cutie mark and puts it back on serpent head two. Serpent head two stares ANGRILY at Memer and Sunshine.

Memer stops struggling to get free.

REIGN MEMER

At least tell us how you did it.

The serpent heads all look to the serpent head with the oldest cutie mark, which we'll say is serpent head seven idk. Serpent head seven clears his throat and regales us. As he speaks, we see clips of the stuff happening. The two sisters the serpent mentions are seen to be a young Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.

SERPENT HEAD SEVEN

(VO)

Our name is Rime Mariner. Long, long ago, we were a beastly monstrosity dwelling in the depths of the sea, constantly at odds with one another. But then, with the help of two pony sisters, we learned to get along. We traveled the world in a skyship, sailing the clouds Equestria over. Slowly, however, we began to argue again, until one day our disharmony caused us to crash. In the aftermath of the crash, we entered a deep slumber. When we awoke, we were here in this cave, with the wreckage of our ship, and a door blocking our exit. We could no longer remember the lesson we had learned from the two pony sisters. But we could hear with out antennas a broadcast from overhead. From one of these broadcasts, Blecki And Ceres In The Morning, we learned of cutie marks and their magic. Using my antennas, I sent a signal back, and convinced one of the radio DJs to construct a device and place it on the broadcast tower, which would compel a pony to travel down here, so we could take its cutie mark and remember our unity once more.

SERPENT HEAD SEVEN (CONT'D)

(glaring smilefully at Memer)

Our plan is on the precipice of completion. We only need a mere two more cutie marks.

The two cutie-mark-less heads again emerge from the water, this time trying to bite at one another. Again, two heads with cutie marks drag them back into the water and then reemerge, continuing to listen to serpent head seven.

SERPENT HEAD SEVEN

And what do we have here but two more cutie marks coming willingly to meet us.

BATS

(raising voice)

Not today, buttfaces.

We see Bats and Cubbles standing in the room. Behind them, the door in is dissolved. Memer and Sunshine look to the two of them happily, while the serpent heads look at them angrily.

RAY SUNSHINE

How did you get past all the doors?

CUBBLES

(holding up a now-empty jar)

This town literally sells jars of acid!

Bats and Cubbles begin flying towards the serpent heads. A cool struggle ensues with Bats and Cubbles and Memer flying around making the serpent heads bonk into each other and Sunshine caught up flightlessly in the middle of it all. Each time a cutie mark is bonked loose, Bats or Cubbles or Memer or Sunshine grabs it and throws it to the dissolved door, where it flies off to presumably find its owner. When the struggle is over, all of the serpent heads have fainted. As the last one faints, the screen fades to black.

**INT. EQUESTRIAN CIA JAIL**

The screen fades back in, and we see Rime Mariner BEHIND BARS. Mariner looks through the bars. The camera zooms back to reveal several ponies looking in at Mariner: first Memer and Sunshine, then Bats and Cubbles, then Whinnyer and Ordinaire, then Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.

**INT. EQUESTRIAN CIA SUPERVILLAIN REHABILITATION**

Mariner, Memer, Sunshine, Bats, Cubbles, Whinnyer, Ordinaire, Celestia, and Luna all sit in a circle in a cozy room. Sunshine has his hoof comfortingly on Mariner's back.

Mariner sighs.

RIME MARINER

Our name is Rime Mariner, and we attempted an act of supervillainy against Equestria.

REIGN MEMER, CUBBLES, NEIGH WHINNYER, LUNA

(simultaneous)

Same.

Mariner appears comforted, while Sunshine appears concerned.