From the "You Can't Make This Stuff Up" Department, the U.S. Marshals Service brings you an interesting bit of news.

Marshals arrested an attempted murder suspect in Niceville, Fla.

Of course, his plans were not very nice.

The Alabama man lured another man into the woods, where he planned to kill him and then bury him in a grave that he had already dug.

Nicholas Wayne Hamlett, 31, was accused of attempted murder, kidnapping and the interestingly named crime of "menacing" after tricking his victim into following him into a wooded area. There, Hamlett planned to beat the man to death. No word on the victim's name -- possibly Yorick?

Hamlett had a baseball bat, zip ties, gasoline and a bag of lime. He'd dug a hole. Then he nearly pulled it off, beating the man and tying him up.

But, at some point, the victim worked his way loose. He then turned the tables on Hamlett, beating the would-be killer so severely that the bad guy was in a coma for two weeks.

Hamlett was later arrested by deputy U.S. marshals and officers from the Niceville Police Department.

Not sure what was going on in Palookaville while all this was happening.

In other aptly named U.S. marshals news, members of the Southern Ohio Fugitive Apprehension Strike Team (SOFAST) quickly arrested a pair of West Virginia homicide suspects in Cincinnati, Ohio.

The suspects allegedly stabbed a couple of people outside a nightclub on April 23. One of the victims died.

Just four days later, SOFAST and U.S. marshals from West Virginia got wind of where the suspects were hiding in Cincinnati. Task force officers and Cincinnati police located the suspects and arrested them without incident.

SOFAST was praised for the fugitives' "swift and safe arrests."

The U.S. Marshals Service is the nation's main fugitive hunting agency. For more information, go to www.usmarshals.gov.

James Walsh • 612-673-7428