Compliments can be tricky things.

Even if you mean them, you can come off sounding insincere or like you’re fishing for one in return.

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But you know, they make us feel good.

It can, however, be difficult to know how to respond. Do you bathe in false modesty and reject their kind, true words? Or do you agree with them? After all, what they’re saying is true – so why not just acknowledge it?


Except is doesn’t work like that, as author and activist Feminista Jones has been pointing out.

She kicked off a discussion earlier this week on accepting compliments from guys with this lone tweet:

Piss a man off today: Tell him you agree with his compliment of you. — TheDevil's Sidechick (@FeministaJones) May 12, 2017

Accepting compliments as a woman is still sort of taboo

Also an interesting observation is how many assume that a woman wouldn't say Thank You when agreeing with them. Lol — TheDevil's Sidechick (@FeministaJones) May 13, 2017

Even if you’re polite about it

They even complain when you say "Thanks" with a straight face instead of "Thank you" with frilly giggles and fake blushed ???? — TheDevil's Sidechick (@FeministaJones) May 13, 2017

Almost as if it’s frowned upon for women to acknowledge their worth

I see it every day because that's my usual response. "Thanks" and keep walking. I get yelled at. Cursed at. "That's all you gonna say?" — TheDevil's Sidechick (@FeministaJones) May 13, 2017

Independently of the male gaze

And/or should be overjoyed by a someone (a man) saying something positive about them (that they weren't supposed to know already) — TheDevil's Sidechick (@FeministaJones) May 13, 2017

And after the thread finished, women started sharing their own experiences of being chastised for accepting compliments:

@FeministaJones well liking yourself ruins the fetish of innocence apparently pic.twitter.com/uQpkvVclEV — haunted ravioli (@lilpochaco) May 17, 2017

The takeaway being, if you can’t handle the reply, don’t say anything

@FeministaJones EVERYTIME!

DUDE: You look nice today.

ME: Thank you! I completely agree…

DUDE: pic.twitter.com/zDc9Ez6xMw — ☀️ Chanel Strangé ☀️ (@CocoBelleChanel) May 12, 2017

MORE: What one man learned about sexism from swapping names with his female colleague for a week

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