Schrödinger’s Muslim ‘getting away with everything’ while simultaneously ‘surrounding Tommy Robinson in prison’

Recently incarcerated Tommy Robinson has updated Schrödinger’s famous thought experiment by insisting that Muslims exist in a state of both getting away with all their crimes whilst simultaneously surrounding him in prison.

A spokesperson for Robinson declared the observation true until said Muslim is directly observed, and that there was a dire need for further studies on the phenomenon.

They went on, “These people clearly need further observation. The criminal justice system is either completely ignoring these Muslims or incarcerating them for their crimes, and this could seriously threaten our widely held lazy stereotypes.”

He continued “Some bloke down the pub who knows – for definite – told me that Muslims, in particular, have been getting away with crimes for years, and if you don’t believe him, the prisons are full of them – which proves his point.”

“They need to be studied extensively, secure and in isolation for a prolonged period of time for objective results. Many people are surprised how closely these scientific conditions resemble an offshore prison shipped moored somewhere in the Atlantic.”

Local voter Simon Williams said that he fully supported Robinson’s latest thought experiment.

He told us, “I see a few Muslims hanging around the place, and I’m absolutely positive that they’re getting away with crimes right under our noses. But they could equally be in prison right now trying to intimidate freedom-fighter Tommy Robinson, couldn’t they?

“I don’t see why people have such an issue with that position.”

“This ‘Schrödinger’ fella sounds smart, how can I vote for him?”