Bros and brahs,

Hath been many a fortnight, but after an extended respite from posting, I’m happy to give the good news that I’m back. We’re back. “WE ARE BACK BABY!!!”

You’ve probably been wondering what I’ve been up to and what milestones have occurred in my life since my last post.. well, I’ll tell you. In the form of a list.

I’ve had a significant increase in the amount of chest hair present on my body. (Yes, you can have chest hair on all your body parts). I’ve been working on my side project– music production; check it out: https://soundcloud.com/kardonas I finally studied for and received my official personal trainer cert. So I am now Konrad Stoick, CPT. Aka I can now spew propaganda and bullshit and, through the miracle of science, it’s automatically true. I’ve experimented with my programming methodology and refined the ways of SwoleFit to discover the OPTIMAL (note: propaganda word) ways to get swole and improve life satisfaction.

Posts will now be done weekly, during which I’ll give you the whole week’s worth of programming. I’ve decided to switch to a more consistent strength cycle formula to ensure consistent GAINZ in da BIG LIFTS. So without further ado:

Week 1 (of 4 week cycle):

Warmup for all days: Joe DeFranco’s Limber 11. This warmup is CASH MONAY.

Emphasis on strength days should be on pushing heavy ass weight with ample rest. Please use proper form, bros (see Youtube for a wealth of video resources on this subject).

Emphasis on hypertrophy days should be on moving the muscle through it’s full range of motion, using a weight that’s relatively “easy,” focusing very much on proper form, and feeling DAT PUMP while doing so.

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Monday (Legs/Shoulders/Traps/Abs):

Strength (3-5 minutes rest b/t sets):

Front Squat (Week 1 of 4 week cycle): 5×5, choose a weight that you know you can keep progressing on over coming weeks. We’ll be hitting front squat every Monday

Strict Press: 5×5, same deal

Conditioning:

Clean and jerk from floor: 8 sets of 3 reps, EMOM (every minute on the minute). Choose a moderately heavy weight, 60-80% of 1RM

5 rounds- 20 KBS (kettlebell swings or sub dumbbell swings), rest 30-60 seconds. Choose a kettlebell that you can get perfect form and unbroken reps for all rounds.

Ab Finisher: Plank Hold, 3 x 60 seconds

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Tuesday (Chest/Back/Bis/Tris):

Power/Speed:

Bench Press- 8 sets of 3 reps, EMOM, 50-60% 1RM, focus on EXPLODING through each rep

Hypertrophy/Endurance (60-90 seconds rest b/t sets):

Bench Press- 4 x 8-12 w/ 60-80% 1RM (choose a weight that you can continue to increase over coming weeks)

Cable Lat Pulldown- 4 x 8-12 (same goes for the rest of the lifts; we’ll be progressing every week)

Cable chest fly- 4 x 12-15

Machine low row- 4 x 12-15

Superset– Chin-ups, Tricep extensions (any form)- 3 x 8-12

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Wednesday: Rest/Foam Roll/Yoga/Light-Moderate Cardio

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Thursday (Legs/Shoulders/Traps/Abs):

Power/Speed:

Back Squat- 8 sets of 3, EMOM, 50-60% 1RM, launch like a rocket ship the moment your hip crease goes past parallel

Hypertrophy/Endurance (1-2 minutes rest b/t sets):

Back Squat- 4×8, 60-80% 1RM (choose a weight that you can continue to progress with over coming weeks)

Power Clean- 5×5, 60-80% 1RM

Strict Press- 4×8, 60-80% 1RM

KBS (Kettlebell swings) or Dumbbell Swings– 1 set x 50 reps, unbroken.

Ab Circuit: 3 rounds- 10 Weighted Sit-ups, 10 TTB (Toes to Bar), 10 Ab Wheel Rolls, 15 Dumbbell Side Bends (each side)

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Friday (Chest/Back/Bis/Tris):

Strength (3-5 minutes rest b/t sets):

Bench Press- 5×5, 60-80% 1RM (choose a weight youz can continuez to progress with)

Dumbbell row- 3×8, fairly heavy, but you should still be confident adding weight each week

Conditioning:

5 rounds- 8 pull-ups, 10 burpees

This conditioning one sounds easy, but it’s a burner if you push yourself. Rest 30-60 seconds between rounds.

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Saturday/Sunday: Rest/Foam Roll/Yoga/Light- Moderate Cardio

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Weekly Motivation:

Brosciencelife. Who else? Let the sweet, resonating tones of Don Mazetti’s voice lull you into the ideal pre-workout mental state.