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And this happens all the time -- I frequently arrive at a location prepared to smash the holy hell out of the lawlessness within, only to find myself coming in on the heels of a squadron of Benjamin J. Grimms who have already consumed all of the Kingpin's nameless henchmen and are currently flogging him with table legs in the corner of his penthouse office. My Hulk shows up just in time to sweep up all the glass and take everyone's lunch order. I'm aware that the "late to the party" problem is a setting that can be switched off in the Options menu, but the game's default mode shouldn't be "watch everyone else have all the fun."

Secret Identity Studios/Marvel Entertainment

"Sorry I'm late, everyone! Wow, looks like you've got that Dino Rider pretty well taken care of, huh, Thing? You ... you want a water bottle or something? I brought extras."

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If I recall the final sequence of The Avengers correctly, shit didn't get real until the Hulk showed up. Everyone was standing around wondering what in the shuffling pickleshit to do about that flying reptilian war slug until the Hulk rode up on his moped and punched it into rage dust. Hulkamania doesn't lace up his battle sandals to pick up toppled water coolers and take photos for the official Avengers Instagram feed. He's there to smack the mighty living fuck out of evil, and yet Marvel Heroes so often leaves me standing around picking my puissant ass while an unstoppable team of two Hawkeyes and one Scarlet Witch delivers the adjudicating blow to Doctor Octopus' jawbone, simply because I clicked on "Travel to Nefarious Warehouse" two minutes too late or didn't spend 18 of the past 24 hours leveling up my superhero.