G’day, mate. Well, back to the usual and reviewing songs. So, Australia did something different this year, and instead of withdrawing, they did an NF. Seeing as Australia has a fairly big music industry, maybe it’d be the next Melfest? Or maybe the next You Decide… so as usual, I popped my headphones on and prepared to go down under, mate.

Ella Hooper – Data Dust:

Hmm. This kinda gives me Avril Lavigne vibes? The verse sounsd like it’s gonna lead us into a decent pop rock chorus… and it leads us into 4 bars of guitar strumming and no singing. Also, Kate’s voice kinda annoys me? I can’t see this translating onto the stage in Tel-Aviv. It ain’t terrible though, I’ll give her that.

Electric Fields – 2000 and Whatever:

I heard a lot of hype about this because it has Pitjantjara language in it, which is a first in any Eurovision preselection. Well, the weird ‘eeahh!!’ noises at the end of each line (which isn’t the actual Pitjantjara speak as I’m informed) kinda bother me, but the prechorus gives me hope…. before it goes into a very basic chorus which consists of looped vocals. I really don’t like this.

Mark Vincent – This Is Not The End:

Is this a rejected song from a Broadway musical? Now, don’t get me wrong. Mark has a FANTASTIC voice. I just think it’s slightly more Sydney Opera House than Eurovision, and this basic ballad is nothing special at all. This would probably fail to qualify at Eurovision, so yeah, meh. Opera CAN work in Eurovision, but only in special occasions: and Il Volo or La Forza this is not.

AYDAN – Dust:

I actually quite like Aydan’s voice. It kinda reminds me of Liam Payne for some reason? Also, this song is really chill. The 3/4 beat is actually pretty good. It’s not really a Eurovision song (wow I really say this a lot) but I’d actually listen to this again, which is definitely progress.

Courtney Act – Fight For Love:

Now, this was one of the first songs released, and I really haven’t ever liked drag queen’s songs, but this isn’t actually that bad. The song itself is pretty generic in terms of both lyrics and the beat. However, I actually quite like it. In this NF, this really could win if Sheppard doesn’t pull it off.

Leea Nanos – Set Me Free:

Leea has one too many E’s in her name. Anyway, the instrumental is pretty cool, with the weird clicky sounds and the general modern feel to it. The first chorus kinda lets it down after that buildup however, but the final chorus is pretty neat. I probably wouldn’t listen to this again though.

Sheppard – On My Way:

Okay, this is probably the best of the entries in the whole thing. This entire song screams Sheppard, so I’m not surprised that Sheppard sent it. It kinda gives me Geronimo vibes, but with a bit more emotion. It’s got a really nice instrumental, and the buildup to the final chorus is really really cute. I really think this could do the business in Tel-Aviv!

Note: Sheppard are funded by prison abuse so I don’t condone them winning at all, but their song is good.

Alfie Arcuri – To Myself:

Having heard Alfie’s song ‘If They Only Knew’, I went into this with high hopes. And, to be fair it isn’t actually that bad. But it’s your average ballad in all honesty. Still, the instrumental is pretty neat, and I do like Alfie’s voice. This definitely won’t disgrace itself in the NF. The lyrics, however, are generic shite. ‘How could I do this to myself,’ he asks, while not telling us exactly what he did. What did you do, Alfie boy? Spill water on your favourite pair of jeans?

Kate Miller-Heidke – Zero Gravity:

Every year, without fail, we get a song called Gravity in an NF. Well, Kate has turned this around and decided there’ll be No Gravity this year. This feels like an opera aria converted to a song, and her ‘ze-e-e-e-ro-o-o-o’ bit really annoys me, as well as the constant changing of genres. It goes from minimalistic electronic to musical, to operetta and then to a dark beat? And then suddenly, she starts warbling. No.

Tania Doko – Piece of Me:

I had written these reviews on Friday night, when this song had not been released at all. So I had to go back and review this as soon as the song itself was actually released. This isn’t a bad way to finish the NF. The lyrics are… painfully fucking generic, but the instrumental itself saves it. If they can scrap their entire lyric set and improve that it’d be much better.

So guys, it turns out the Australian NF was actually just O Melodie Pentru Europa in a trenchcoat all along. However, Sheppard’s song does have style, and I’d pick that.