Into the Abyss

4-ACO-DMT

Citation: lilfoot. "Into the Abyss: An Experience with 4-ACO-DMT (exp86610)". Erowid.org . Aug 27, 2010. erowid.org/exp/86610

BODY WEIGHT: 235 lb

DAY 1:It began one morning when a friend and I were on our way back from a party the night before. I had a milligram scale and a fresh bag full of 500 mg 4-AcO-DMT that I was waiting to crack into once we got home. My previous drug experiences include 4-AcO-DMT itself, most of the 2c series, LSD many times, mushrooms many times, AMT on several occasions, DMT, DPT, 5-MEO-DaLT, MDMA repeatedly (to the point of exhaustion), as well as ketamine, PCP, marijuana, the usual dissociatives and a handful of opiates/benzos/other pharmies. None of them, asides from DPT perhaps, prepared me for this experience.About 10 minutes from home we heard a siren and saw lights flashing in our rear view. My friend, let's call him John, has zero experience as far as dealing with LEOs goes, so he became instantly nervous. I had the bag of 4-AcO-DMT in my wallet and the milligram scale beneath my seat. We pulled over and, after telling us that his inspection sticker was out of date, the cop asked John to step out of the vehicle. A couple minutes later he came back and informed me that John was 'acting sketchy' and was refusing to talk to him or answer any questions at all. He told me that, as a result of my friend's actions (or inactions really) they were going to call a K9 unit, and that I should sit tight.In total fight-or-flight mode, I realized that I sure as hell didn't want to go to jail, and even if 4-AcO-DMT is technically legal I didn't want to take any chances. So, in one quick, throat-scraping motion, I swallowed the entire ziploc bag full of this very potent tryptamine.We waited and waited and waited for the K9 unit to appear, the entire time I sat on the curb wondering, 'Am I about to start blowing up right here in front of half of my local PD and freak the fuck out on all this shit?' Fortunately, the K9 unit came and went, alerting on nothing, so we were free to go.Immediately once I re-entered the car I told John, 'I need to puke RIGHT NOW.' He didn't believe me when I told him I swallowed the bag at first, but after I informed him of just how serious the situation was, we raced to the closest Kroger, where I spent close to 30 minutes blowing hot bile out my nose just trying to get the bag to come up. No dice. I met my friend outside and told him we needed to get to the ER, and fast.I still wasn't tripping, so I was thankful for that much, but the nurses in the ER basically gave me two cups of charcoal and told me there wasn't jack shit they could do, but that I'd most likely pass the bag whole. I took their word for it and went home.DAY 2:Summer Slaughter, a big death metal show that was in town at the time. I was super pumped and was tagging along with my other friend, let's call him James. It was fairly uneventful, I noticed that I had yet to pass the bag, but after smoking a blunt in the crowd I noticed that I felt a little bit more than just stoned. My stomach was in some sort of intense pain, but I shrugged it off and tried to stay focused on the music. Towards the end of the night I ended up just sitting on the ground, waiting for it all to be over. I was incredibly confused but still thought it was just because I hadn't smoked that much good bud in a long time. We left eventually, and I felt better on the ride home, if not still a little bit foggy.I slammed through a Steel Reserve (black label of course) at James' before I had to ride back to my place, and was feeling very tired and strange, although still not enough for me to suspect the bag had leaked. I told all my friends the story and they all agreed that it would be pretty gross if I still tried to move any of the chemical once it was released from my body, and we laughed about it all and I went home.That night, as I lay in bed ready to fall asleep, my thoughts were getting deeper and deeper. I still had no suspicions that it was anything but a heavy drunkenness and being completely pooped from the long day.DAY 3:I woke up repeatedly throughout the night, passing in and out of the strangest, most vivid dream I've ever had. It involved multiple levels of lucid dreaming, an insane sex frenzy, time control, reptilian consciousness and plenty of other super weird ultra psychedelic shit. I may actually attempt very low dosages of 4-AcO-DMT before bedtime someday, as this was perhaps one of the most interesting parts of the entire experience.When I woke up for good, my body felt light and airy, and it was difficult to read. I figured that it was just because my dream was so weird that I was somehow still not totally awake, but the longer I was up, the odder I felt. A friend came over and I couldn't recognize his face after even an hour of talking, and still had no idea who he was until my sister said his name. I floated through my house, gradually going deeper and deeper into a state of pure oddness. I wondered multiple times if, due to the multi-layered nature of my dream, I was still maybe just dreaming, since it didn't feel much different. And then, about halfway through the day, I felt myself slowly rising in an unmistakeable fashion. That's when I knew what had happened.In my last few sober moments, I hopped onto a well-known harm reduction forum that I spend quite a bit of time lurking on, and posted my first thread ever, asking whether or not I should go to the ER. Even though I knew how potentially life-threatening the situation could be, I was experiencing huge rushes of euphoria, where I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Things began to wave and churn in my vision, and come unhinged at the edges. In the last wave of near-sobriety before things REALLY began to start shifting, I called my girlfriend and told her to please come pick me up and help me get to the hospital. She had to be at work, but she promised me that her older sister would be there soon to help me out. This is where things get a little fuzzy.I remember laying in my bed, thousands of feelings beginning to wash over me, each one begging for attention, like my mind was being tugged at from every direction. The pull became harder with every passing moment, and walking got a lot harder. In a move that surprised even me, I turned off all the lights in my house, put on clean clothes and put water and dog food in my dog's bowl before kissing him goodbye. A part of me, even with as far gone as I was already, understood very well that this might be the last time I would ever get to do these daily routines I once thought of as minor annoyances. I felt calm and at peace, even as my sense of self was beginning to dissolve completely.I vaguely remember my girlfriend's sister, let's call her Sarah, helping me outside and into her car. I remember feeling like we were moving very, very, very fast on the way to the ER, and once we got there, it was nearly impossible for me to communicate. I told the triage that I had a bag of drugs that might hurt me inside me, and that it was opening, so she told me to fill out some forms, which looked like ancient heiroglyphs to me. Sarah obviously realised that this was impossible, and asked the nurse to please see me now while she tried to fill them out, which she obliged to. At this point walls were turning into portals, and 3-dimensional spirals were popping out towards me from every direction. The next thing I remember is having my blood pressure checked, and then sitting on a bed in a room that looked and felt like it was entirely outside. The floor was grass and I could feel it. After this point, I must have layed down, because the rest is completely impossible for me to describe.There was no entity contact. There was no living millions of lives. There was simply me sitting in the Light of God, and then becoming it. I experienced many very personal visions that I have no wish to include here for a variety of reasons, but every single one of them shook me to the core, and still do when I remember them. I experienced becoming old and becoming young and becoming old again, and throughout it all, I was never scared or anxious for a single moment. In fact, it felt like coming home, like the most intense and prolonged deja vu you could ever imagine. I had seen and done everything here before, as I would again, and again, and again, for all eternity. It was simply the act of doing at its simplest, every action the same action, every intention the same intention, every outcome the same outcome. It was completely beautiful.And I survived. According to Sarah, my blood pressure was fine. My pulse was fine, if a little fast. I was breathing normally, she said at some points I even began breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth, which I thought was really interesting. Apparently I just layed there with my eyes closed, almost completely unresponsive. I don't know how long it took me to come down from that place, but when I did, it happened instantly, and suddenly I was sober again, completely. They released me and prescribed me a huge jug of something that's supposed to make me shit a lot to try and clean out my guts.I smoked a cigarette and we picked up my prescription from the drug store, where I felt entirely normal, although Sarah later informed me that I was being a total creep, something I don't doubt. I had her drop me off at a friend's house where I recovered some more before he took me home that night, and at that point I was much closer to normal everyday thinking, although still a little off (well, more than a little). I posted some about my experience, popped 2 Benadryl and passed out cold with my puppy on my chest.DAY 4 - PRESENT:Heavy afterglow, visual effects still persist. I catch myself in thought loops here and there and still sometimes have glimmers of synaesthesia. My thinking has tended toward the mystical, to say the least. A medium dose 5-MEO-Dalt trip and a low-dose MDMA trip have helped to reintegrate some of the experience. I have a newfound appreciation for sobriety, and have decided to begin a new diet and exercise regime in light of how much I found myself missing my body when I became detached from it. In a way, I realize how much I had hated my body before the experience, and how much I value it now, not in a vain way, but in that it's mine and will always be mine and I need to take pride in it. I have begun reintroducing myself to all the people I am closest with in my life, and I'm loving every second of it.I am in NO way advocating taking this huge of a dose. I had a positive experience but I think that I may have only ingested half of the actual dose I took (possibly even less) due to charcoal absorption, destruction by heat/acid/moisture and a rapid tolerance climb from the time it leaked (which I'm now guessing was sometime during day 2). I doubt I will ever take anything over 50 mg again, if even that.