In the past week, Apple's Tim Cook era has been marked with its first major acquisition and its first major diss. We got a kick out of Cook's Monday WWDC statements about Windows 8 and Android—not as fanboys, but because we get a kick out of tech titan squabbles. The moment presented us an opportunity to remember some of Apple's most notable smack-talk and trolling statements over the past 30 years. Dust off those old turtlenecks and dated Longhorn references.

2014: Android is a “toxic hellstew” and “a mistake”

After describing Mavericks adoption at this year’s WWDC, Cook took a quick jab at Microsoft: “You may wonder how that compares to Windows,” he said before showing a pie chart indicating 14 percent of Windows users have upgraded to Windows 8. Mavericks, released one year later, boasts 51 percent of OS X users.

That was nothing compared to his later WWDC shots at the Android platform though. After announcing that 130 million customers bought their first iPhones this year, he hinted to a large (though unconfirmed) percentage of those being Android departures. “They had bought an Android phone by mistake and then had sought a better experience and a better life,” Cook said. Following that, Cook boasted about iPhone security with a statistical comparison and a nasty quote from ZDNet: “Android fragmentation is turning devices into a toxic hellstew of vulnerabilities,” he gleefully read aloud, as if a couched quote gave him a buffer.

2012: A phone should “fit in your hand”

Phil Schiller didn’t call Samsung out by name when describing the iPhone 5 during its September 2012 reveal event, but when asked why the phone was only lengthened, not widened, he asserted Apple’s design philosophy in no uncertain terms: "It's because of your hand. It should fit there. That's how we designed the iPhone 5." Apple historically hasn’t called Samsung out by name, however, unless it comes in the form of a lawsuit summons.

2010: Android is “fragmented” and “disingenuous”

During an October 2010 Apple earnings call, Steve Jobs made a rare vocal appearance, and he took the opportunity to slam the newly burgeoning Android ecosystem. At the time, he described Google as “disingenuous” for calling its marketplace “open” and Apple’s “closed,” then Jobs explained the fragmentation that would result from issues like carriers installing their own software layers and third parties launching separate app stores. "This is going to be a mess for both users and developers. We believe integrated will trump fragmented every time."

During this call, Jobs also said competing Android tablets would be “dead on arrival” when facing off against the iPad, and he famously mocked 7” tablets by saying “this size isn’t sufficient to create great tablet apps.” (The iPad mini followed two years later.)

2010: Bloomberg is “a crock,” The New York Times is “making this stuff up”

Remember the iPhone 4’s reception woes? Antennagate was bad enough to necessitate a bumper distribution plan and a last-minute press conference, and at the latter, Jobs aimed his mercurial lens at the media. He called public reaction “overblown,” then added, “it’s just human nature—when you see someone get successful, you just want to tear it down.”

When asked pointedly about a Bloomberg report that Jobs had been warned in advance about antenna issues, Jobs called the report “a crock.” When asked about another report about more incoming fixes, Jobs said, “Go talk to the [New York] Times, because you guys talk to yourselves a lot. They’re just making this stuff up."

He even mocked stressed-out shareholders, reminding them that this event was a mere blip: “To investors who bought the stock and are down by $5 [a share], I have no apology.”

2007: “Versions” of OS X

When introducing the release of OS X Leopard in 2007, Steve Jobs had some fun describing the pricing model for the upgrade’s “editions.” Of course, only one version of Leopard came out, but that didn’t stop Jobs from listing basic, premium, business, enterprise, and ultimate versions of OS X, all priced at $129.

He also took the opportunity to quote Microsoft executive Jim Allchin, who’d publicly said he would buy a Mac if he didn’t work at Microsoft. “He’s retiring soon, so I’ve alerted our Seattle stores to keep an eye out for him,” Jobs said.