ElectricDreamer Sun 08-Jul-18 20:09:54

Went to a big birthday bbq at DSIS's yesterday for DBILs 40th birthday. I've been to DSIS's for a cuppa here and there, but she's not fond of entertaining and she's never thrown a party before. And definitely never has more than a couple of people at her home at any one time. She's a bit funny like that. So I was really surprised at her throwing a huge bbq for around 50 invitees. But we looked forward to it all the same. We live a bbq and the weather is fab.



On arrival I was taken to one side by DSIS and told that when using the loo we were only permitted to use her toilet for wee's only because, and I quote, "I'm not having anyone shitting in my house, so make sure you tell your DH as well!"



DH has only ever visited DSIS's home twice in the 10 years we've been together, because DSIS isn't the sociable type tgat invites people round (even DM and DGM have only been for an hour a small handful of times). DH has never even used her loo, so it's not like he has form for doing a number two and leaving the toilet in a mess. And neither have I. I've never been in her home long enough to need more than a wee. I was a bit taken abackand just laughed and walked off, thinking she couldn't have been serious. I privately laughed about it with DH and giggled about her social awkwardness. But I never thought she was being actually serious



On mixing with other guests it turns out all everyone had been greeted with the "don't shit in my house" line with a good few people being unable to tell if she was being serious or had a weird sense of humour. My DSIS isn't exactly what you'd call house-proud, and she can be a bit odd at times, so I went with 'weird sense of humour'. She does have form for cracking jokes others don't find funny.



But later in the afternoon my DH needed a, ahem ...number two. He was practically hopping from one foot to the other but too nervous to use DSIS's loo in case she was being serious. I told him to stop being silly and to just use the bloody loo. So in the end he did.



But as he exited the bathroom DSIS had been waiting outside to use the loo and entered after DH. Smelling that he had done a poo she went fucking batshit at him, making a big scene that she'd specifically said nobody was to shit in her house. She stormed out into the garden confronting me about my "dirty bastard husband".



I said I'd told him to go because she can't seriously expect people to spend all day at her house eating and drinking, but demand what bodily functions they're allowed to use or not use when they're there. She then started saying me and my dirty bastard husband had bad fucking manners. So it ended up in a row and DH and I left. DH was utterly humiliated and mortified.



For the record, my DH is clean. He doesn't leave toilets in a mess. But he has a functioning digestive system like the rest of us.



I've not spoken to DSIS since This, but have spoken to a couple of relatives who agree with her, and a couple who agree with me.



So AIBU to think it's ok as a guest to use the hosts loo for whatever you need it for (providing you leave it clean, obviously) if you're there for most of the day, without being publicly humiliated if you dare to do more than a wee?!



Or is it some unwritten rule that you must not succumb to bowel movements, no matter how desperate you are? Was my DH supposed to catch a cab (as he was drinking) to our home 30 mins away just to have a poo because it's such bad manners to use the hosts toilet for that purpose?



We don't attend many parties, admittedly, but I've never come across such a rule before.