Bob Hawke reborn, except in all the ways that matter.

First off, mates: before we continue, do yourself a favour and put this classic tune on. Trust me.

At a function for the UTS Bats Football Club at the Royal Oak Hotel in Sydney’s Double Bay earlier tonight, Prime Minister and Speed Dealer-in-Chief Tony Abbott put in a guest appearance to honour the club, before promptly sculling a schooner of VB before a cheering crowd of footy yahoos like a marathon runner given a bottle of Gatorade. It’s weirdly beautiful. Australian Women’s Weekly got in first with the scoop, those intrepid buggers.

Tony Abbott has many flaws, but necking a cool glass of Australia’s best cold beer cannot in all good conscience be considered one of them. This may genuinely be the best thing he’s ever done. It may be the only time in his career he will ever be compared favourably to former PM and true Australian hero Bob Hawke.

“Whether you’re goin’ to war, or screwin’ the poor,

Or just generally bein’ the worst, you’ve sure got a thirst.

A hard-earned thirst needs a big cold beer,

And the best cold beer is Vic: Victoria Bitter.”