CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

Local bloke, Will Wells (28) likes to consider himself pretty open minded.

He often marches in politically-charged youth rallies against conservative government policies and is a big supporter of diversity in his workplace.

However, after a night out at Club Medusa in Betoota’s trendy red light district, Will has found himself staunchly opposed to one particularly progressive issue.

Gender-neutral toilets.

Also known as all-gender-inclusive toilets, the style of bathroom has been pushed by many public buildings as a type of facility that people of any gender or gender identity may use. Gender-neutral toilet facilities benefit transgender populations and people who exist outside of the gender binary; people with disabilities, the elderly, and anyone else who may require the assistance of someone of another gender; and parents who may wish to accompany their children to the washroom or toilet facility among others.

Will says when he first heard about this push for inclusivity in bathrooms, he was all for it.

“It made sense to me. Some people have concerns that I don’t have about that sign on the bathroom door, and who am I to argue with that?” he says.

“I’m not 100% educated on gender identity issues, but I thought the least I could do was shut up and let these people take a piss where they feel most comfortable”

That was until last night.

In a heaving nightclub of hot chicks and well-dressed socialites, Will says his first cigarette of the night resulted in him needing some sort of a release.

Making his way towards the bathrooms in the well-known nightspot, he noticed the WC facilities were labelled with nothing more than “TOILETS” on the door – gender neutral toilets.

It was halfway through grunting out a colon loaf that Will realised he wasn’t 100% comfortable with dropping the kids off at the pool while beautiful women do their make up only two metres away.

“They knew exactly what I was doing”

“They saw me go in… They saw me taking my coat off, and then they saw me close the door”

“…and then they heard me ramp it up to level ten while trying to punch out this chocolate soldier”

While usually quite successful in his charming of the opposite sex, Will found himself the topic of attention for all the wrong reasons last night.

“I was walking past groups of giggling women. All night”

“They all knew what I did”

Will says he is aware that making public facilities accessible to diverse populations has long been a divisive issue right across the world – but most are for reasons quite different to his.

Conservative and religious activists around the world are campaigning against segregated toilets, a vestige of the Victorian era – where women’s modesty and safety were considered at risk and under constant need of surveillance and discipline. That, and the fact that they enjoy making life hard for people who identify differently.

However, throughout this whole debate, Will says no one seems to care about his modesty.

“I have sensitivities and insecurities too, you know” he says.

“I really am terrified of having to do that again”