The Hollywood Foreign Press Association – a weird-ass group of people whose tastes are wildly mercurial and impossible to define – has announced the nominees for the 77th Golden Globe Awards, set to be broadcast January 5 on NBC. Let's skip right to the good news here: You don't have to take any of this seriously. If the Oscars are like the Super Bowl (another thing you don't have to take seriously), the Globes are like a drunken game of beer pong in some mutual friend's garage. They're messy and kind of stupid, you only care about it while it's happening, and what happens when it's over isn't your problem. It's also kind of fun! Well, Ricky Gervais is hosting again, so your mileage may vary in the "fun" department.

Here's the bummer news: Not a single woman was nominated for Best Director – not Greta Gerwig for Little Women, or Lulu Wang for The Farewell, or Marielle Heller for A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, or Céline Sciamma for Portrait of a Lady on Fire, et al. There are a few things the HFPA seemed to love this year, like underwhelming Netflix original series (looking at you, Living With Yourself), Sam Mendes' 1917 (every year needs an impressive war/space spectacle directed by a dude), The Two Popes (guess we're gonna have to pay attention to that one after all), and The Crown – because of course.

This year's list of nominees requires a ball of red yarn and a corkboard to figure out just what the hell the HFPA was thinking. There are some real choices here, and many of them are senseless (like Kit Harrington and Cate Blanchett – and yes, the latter is wonderful but this was not her year) with only the occasional righteous nominee. It's good to see so much love for Parasite, Dolemite Is My Name, Knives Out, and Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood, as well as excellent television performances like Natasha Lyonne in Russian Doll, Phoebe Waller-Bridge in Fleabag, and Kirsten Dunst in On Becoming a God in Central Florida. But then you wonder just how much you can trust a group that deigns The Morning Show one of the best TV series of the year, and nominates Jodie Comer for Killing Eve but not Sandra Oh. Really, it's best not to focus on this too much. Just read the list (or don't) and move on with your day:

Best Motion Picture (Drama)

The Irishman

Marriage Story

1917

Joker

The Two Popes

Best Motion Picture (Musical/Comedy)

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Jojo Rabbit

Knives Out

Rocketman

Dolemite Is My Name

Best Motion Picture (Animated)

Frozen II

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World

Missing Link

Toy Story 4

Lion King

Best Actor in a Motion Picture (Drama)

Christian Bale, Ford v Ferrari

Antonio Banderas, Pain and Glory

Adam Driver, Marriage Story

Joaquin Phoenix, Joker

Jonathan Pryce, The Two Popes

Best Actress in a Motion Picture (Drama)

Cynthia Ervio, Harriet

Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story

Saoirse Ronan, Little Women

Charlize Theron, Bombshell

Renée Zellweger, Judy

Best Actor in a Motion Picture (Musical/Comedy)

Daniel Craig, Knives Out

Roman Griffin Davis, Jojo Rabbit

Leonardo DiCaprio, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Taron Egerton, Rocketman

Eddie Murphy, Dolemite Is My Name

Best Actress in a Motion Picture (Musical/Comedy)

Awkwafina, The Farewell

Ana de Armas, Knives Out

Cate Blanchett, Where’d You Go, Bernadette

Beanie Feldstein, Booksmart

Emma Thompson, Late Night

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture

Kathy Bates, Richard Jewell

Annette Bening, The Report

Laura Dern, Marriage Story

Jennifer Lopez, Hustlers

Margot Robbie, Bombshell

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture

Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Anthony Hopkins, The Two Popes

Al Pacino, The Irishman

Joe Pesci, The Irishman

Brad Pitt, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Best Director (Motion Picture)

Bong Joon-ho, Parasite

Sam Mendes, 1917

Todd Phillips, Joker

Martin Scorsese, The Irishman

Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Best Screenplay (Motion Picture)

Noah Baumbach, Marriage Story

Bong Joon-ho and Han Jin-won, Parasite

Anthony McCarten, The Two Popes

Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Steven Zaillian, The Irishman

Best Original Score (Motion Picture)

Daniel Pemberton, Motherless Brooklyn

Alexandre Desplat, Little Women

Hildur Guðnadóttir, Joker

Thomas Newman, 1917

Randy Neman, Marriage Story

Best Original Song (Motion Picture)

“Beautiful Ghosts” – Cats

“(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again” – Rocketman

“Into the Unknown” – Frozen II

“Spirit” – The Lion King

“Stand Up” – Harriet

Best Television Series (Drama)

Big Little Lies

The Crown

Killing Eve

The Morning Show

Succession

Best Television Performance by an Actor (Drama)

Brian Cox, Succession

Kit Harington, Game of Thrones

Rami Malek, Mr. Robot

Tobias Menzies, The Crown

Billy Porter, Pose

Best Television Performance by an Actress (Drama)

Jennifer Aniston, The Morning Show

Olivia Colman, The Crown

Jodie Comer, Killing Eve

Nicole Kidman, Big Little Lies

Reese Witherspoon, Big Little Lies

Best Motion Picture (Foreign Language)

The Farewell

Pain and Glory

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

Parasite

Les Misérables

Best Television Performance by an Actress (Musical/Comedy)

Christina Applegate, Dead to Me

Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Kirsten Dunst, On Becoming a God in Central Florida

Natasha Lyonne, Russian Doll

Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag

Best Television Performance by an Actor (Musical/Comedy)

Michael Douglas, The Kominsky Method

Bill Hader, Barry

Ben Platt, The Politician

Paul Rudd, Living With Yourself

Ramy Youssef, Ramy

Best Television Performance by an Actor (Limited Series or Motion Picture)

Christopher Abbot, Catch-22

Sacha Baron Cohen, The Spy

Jared Harris, Chernobyl

Russell Crowe, The Loudest Voice

Sam Rockwell, Fosse/Verdon

Best Television Performance by an Actress (Limited Series or Motion Picture)

Kaitlyn Dever, Unbeliveable

Joey King, The Act

Helen Mirren, Catherine the Great

Meritt Wever, Unbelievable

Michelle Williams, Fosse/Verdon

Best Television Series (Comedy)

Barry

Fleabag

The Kominsky Method

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

The Politician

Best Television Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Catch-22

Chernobyl

Fosse/Verdon

The Loudest Voice

Unbelievable

Best Supporting Actress (Television)

Patricia Arquette, The Act

Helena Bonham Carter, The Crown

Toni Collette, Unbelievable

Meryl Streep, Big Little Lies

Emily Watson, Chernobyl

Best Supporting Actor (Television)

Alan Arkin, The Kominsky Method

Kieran Culkin, Succession

Andrew Scott, Fleabag

Stellan Skarsgard, Chernobyl

Henry Winkler, Barry