[…] Such individuals, spurred on by deep feelings of vengeful mess, vindictiveness, and animosity, behave in a manner that is singularly destructive; destructive to themselves as well as to some or all of the other family members, making an already bad family situation worse. These women I have found it useful described as ‘family terrorists.’

[…] There seems to be a blanket of silence over the large amount of violence expressed by women. Because ‘family terrorism’ is a tactic largely used by women and my work in the domestic violence unit is largely with women, I address this problem discussing only my work with women.

The potential for family terrorism may rest dormant for many years, emerging in its full might only under certain circumstances. I found that in many cases it is the dissolution, or threatened dissolution, of the family that calls to the fore the terrorist’s destructiveness. It is essential to understand that prior to dissolution, the potential terrorist plays a role in the family that is by no means passive. The terrorist is the family member whose moods reigned supreme in the family, whose whims and actions determine the emotional climate of the household. In this setting, the terrorists could be described as the family tyrant, for whether the family, this individual maintains the control and power over the other members’ emotions.

[…] It is the terrorist on tyrant who is primarily responsible for initiating conflict, imposing histrionic outbursts upon otherwise calm situations, or (more subtly invisibly) quietly manipulating other family members into uproar through guilt, cunning taunts, and barely perceptive provocations. (The quiet, manipulative terrorist usually is the most undetected terrorist. Through the subtle creation of perpetual turmoil, this terrorist may virtually drive other family members into alcoholism, to drug-addiction, to explosive behavior, to suicide. The other family members, therefore, are often misperceived as the ‘family problem’ and the hidden terrorist as a saintly woman who puts up with this all.) While the family remains together, however miserable that ‘togetherness’ might be, the terrorist maintains her power. However, it is often the separation of the family that promises to rend the terrorist’s domain and consequently to lessen her power. Family dissolution, therefore, often is the time when the terrorist feels most threatened and most alone, and, because of that, most dangerous.

In this position of fear, the family terrorists set out to achieve a specific goal. There many possible goals for the terrorists, including: reuniting the family once again, or ensuring that the children (if there are children in the relationship) remain under terrorist’s control, or actively destroying the terrorist’s spouse (or ex – spouse) emotionally, physically, and financially. (The emotional terrorist and the violence-prone by Erin Pizzey)



Emotional Terrorist and the Violence-Prone by Erin Pizzey $9.99 B003Y5H7YK (Kindle edition)

(download Kindle for PC from amazon.com and get the free preview chapter of this book. Very informative) The emotional terrorist and the violence-prone by Erin Pizzey $19.95 0889701032

In this important book, suppressed in England, Pizzey argues that not every battered woman is simply a victim. To successfully reduce violence, Pizzy convincingly shows that domestic violence prevention workers must distinguish between the emotional terrorist, addicted to pain and provoking violence, and those truly seeking escape from violence. This is the successor to “Scream Quietly or the Neighbours Will Hear”;, the first book on wife battering. It is a challenging must-read for all those dealing with family violence, policy-makers, family rights activists and anyone concerned about violence in society. The book contains the updated text of the original book, suppressed in England, minus outdated appendices, plus Pizzey s new research and conclusions comparing battered women and violence-prone women. A separate section describes the “emotional terrorist”;, a personality instantly recognizable to their targets.