OKAY, STUDENTS,

WE HAVE A VERY SPECIALGUEST SPEAKER TODAY.

WHO CAN TELL THE NAME OF OURCOUNTRY'S LAST VICE PRESIDENT ?

DICK CHENEY ?

NO, THE LAST ONE.

BILL CLINTON !

NO, CLINTON'SVICE PRESIDENT ?

HE IS HERE TODAYTO TALK TO YOU STUDENTS

ABOUT SOMEVERY SERIOUS ISSUES.

PLEASE WELCOME,AL GORE !

( sparse applause )

WHO ?

THANK YOU, MR. MACKEY,

STUDENTS OFSOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY.

I AM HERETO EDUCATE YOU

ABOUT THE SINGLE BIGGESTTHREAT TO OUR PLANET.

YOU SEE, THERE ISSOMETHING OUT THERE

WHICH THREATENSOUR VERY EXISTENCE

AND MAY BE THE END TOTHE HUMAN RACE AS WE KNOW IT.

I'M TALKING, OF COURSE,ABOUT MANBEARPIG.

MANBEARPIG ?

IT IS A CREATUREWHICH ROAMS THE EARTH ALONE.

IT IS HALF MAN, HALF BEARAND HALF PIG.

SOME PEOPLE SAYTHAT MANBEARPIG ISN'T REAL.

WELL I'M HERETO TELL YOU NOW,

MANBEARPIG IS VERY REALAND HE MOST CERTAINLY EXISTS.

I'M CEREAL.

MANBEARPIG DOESN'T CAREWHO YOU ARE,

OR WHAT YOU'VE DONE,

MANBEARPIG SIMPLYWANTS TO GET YOU.

I'M SUPER-CEREAL.

BUT HAVE NO FEAR, BECAUSEI AM HERE TO SAVE YOU.

AND SOMEDAY, WHEN THE WORLDIS RID OF MANBEARPIG,

EVERYONE WILL SAY

"THANK YOU AL GORE,YOU'RE SUPER-AWESOME."

THE END.

UH, OKAY,THANK YOU MR. GORE...

THANK YOU CLASS.

EXCELSIOR !