Let me preface this comic by saying this first: I totally understand people with legitimate health issues and crises that pip up that need a day or more to figure out. I hope you all have an understanding management team that can support you through those issues.

There. I’m not talking about real, honest sicknesses or emergencies. I’m talking about when someone keeps having “emergencies” when you call to ask why they aren’t at work for their shift. You know how they sound on the other end of the line too, like they just woke up, or outside on a nice, sunny afternoon. These are also the toxic coworkers who will complain every chance they get that they don’t want to be there working, that they’d rather be at home, or admit after the fact that they weren’t sick at all and just didn’t feel like going in for their shift.

Some scheduling managers wise up to this and figure, if you don’t want to be here, we’ll help you out with that.

Although with those scheduling choices comes the complaints that they don’t have ANY hours anymore and how are they going to be able to afford rent and bills, blah blah blah… For those people, you suck, and managers are trying to tell you that in as nice a way as possible by giving you four hours every two weeks.