so down the road from my house the NSW based franchise oporto opened their first West Australian store. Naturally i went straight down there to see what these fuckers had on offer. I’d heard good things so before i headed down i check out their fb page, has an impressive 47000 likes.

and fuck me have a read of their “about” section on their facebook – this shit drives me up the motherfucking wall – this is it “Welcome to the Official Oporto Facebook Page. This page was created by a loyal fan who simply believes a Bondi Burger with Extra Chilli is the best tasting thing”

WHY. THE. FUCK would some stupid dumb cunt with no involvement in the business open a facebook page for a registered business. now the poor fuckers at oporto have had to join this page an run it through his account becasue it has amassed so many likes. fuck this cunt. who gives a fuck if your a loyal fan u dont go representing someones business like that. brb just opening a nandos fb page because i like it, who is this homo.

alright so i made it to the chicken shop and from the outside it looks like fast food. i was expecting one level above fast food (more the restaurant style that nandos does). inside i confirm it is fast food. losers behind the counter in gaycunt outfits, drive through staff, people yelling out order numbers, 14 year olds on the fucking grill cooking. may as well be in chicken treat.

so i order the ‘famous’ bondi burger and a chicken wrap. it was cheap. fast food cheap. like 10 bucks all up. so i new i was in for a piece of shit burger. my burger was suppose to have 2 full chicken breasts in it. i kid you not they where the about .5cm thick and 4x4cm. what a load of shit. that is not a chicken breast, these were a fucking ducklings breasts,so much for one better then fast food. i ate it all and it was tasty, but not if your wanting a gourmet style chicken burger.

the business is obviously run by total retards. i live in the fucking suburb it is in, i am in their target market, and i have not seen a single piece of marketing or advertising in the 3 weeks it has been open.

all in all, i would not not go back again unless i wanted a cheap shit chicken burger, and i doubt they will see longevity in WA. there is a reason chicken treat and red rooster are struggling and i see oporto in the exact same field as those 2 horrid franchises. apart from price it has nothing on nandos (its only decent competition) and my advice would be open stores it shit hole suburbs where uneducated dumb fucks live and dont care about their health. stay away from high socio-economic suburbs, because we think your foods unhealthy, and shit.

would eat at oporto before eating at McDonalds/hungry jacks etc. only if i was desperate/drunk

-lazycommercegenius

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