Although Fox News will report that attendance was in the millions, the actual head count for Sarah Palin’s Tea-Bagger rally on Boston Common today was approximately 1000 (including protesters). Let’s put that in perspective. The population of metropolitan Boston is 4.5 million and only 1000 bothered to see Sarah Palin on a bright sunny Spring day with temperatures in the mid sixties . More people than that show up on a daily basis at Boston Common to watch a squirrel and a pigeon fight over a discarded pretzel. The television coverage of NECN embarrassingly showed a lot more green grass than human beings on the Common.

Palin protesters were present. Many were sporting signs which said, “Health Care Reform. No Thanks To Palin”. Another read, “Hey Sarah, Family Values = 30 Million Newly Insured Americans”. We will update with more on the protest signs as we learn more. One of the Tea-Baggers held a sign which said, “Remember When Dissent Was Patriotic?”, only it was misspelled as “Dessent”. How appropriate and predictable.



Palin was dressed in a red leather jacket with a flag button (as usual). She said that husband Todd was with her and that he liked this type of tea party more than the ones he was forced to attend with other first ladies when he was the “First Dude”. The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska spoke only for about 20 minutes. It was the usual nonsense drivel in which she criticized the current administration without offering even one single alternative policy initiative. She claimed that “radical” changes like the health care reform law and student loan reforms have alienated our allies. Huh? She uttered her tiresome refrain that “Bostonians, like the rest of America will continue to cling to our Constitution, our guns and our religion”. Of course, Palin did not realize that Massachusetts favors and harbors some of the most strict gun laws in the nation. Sarah Palin needs to do some homework about the venues where she speaks. Next, she said that “the government works for the people, not the other way around”. Perhaps she should ask the millions of federal, state and municipal employees about that doozy. In rapid succession she then said, “nu-cue-ler” “drill baby, drill” and “Ya betcha”. The best part of her speech was that the amplifiers cut out repeatedly such that most of the small crowd could not hear a word that she spoke. The rally was scheduled to last until 1:00 pm but the crowd was gone by 11:25 am.



At one point, Ms. Quittypants attempted to rev up the quiet gathering by claiming that she had a personal connection to Boston. She claimed to have been on a youth hockey trip here when she met 1980 Olympic hockey captain and champion, Mike Eruzione. Problem is, Palin forgot his first name and completely mispronounced his last name. Of course Mike Eruzione (the good Democrat that he is) was not present at the rally. Then again, neither was newly elected nudist Republican Senator Scott Brown, Republican gubernatorial candidate Charles Baker or Republican congressional candidate Jeffrey Perry. The Massachusetts Republican candidates (few that there are) realize that Sarah Palin and her violent yet silly rhetoric is toxic to their election chances.

Sarah Palin was introduced to the tiny audience by local uber-conservative talk radio host and columnist for the Boston Herald (Enquirer). Michael Graham. Graham airs his acerbic daily radio show on Boston’s WTKK (affectionately known as WKKK as the result of its almost entirely right wing lineup). It is interesting to note that Graham drew criticism from blogs on the Left and the Right for comments about Bill and Hillary Clinton made on CNN Headline News’ Glenn Beck Show on June 20, 2007. Referring to a Clinton campaign ad based on the final episode of The Sopranos, Graham said “…didn’t you at some point want to see, like, Paulie Walnuts, somebody come in here and just whack them both right there? Wouldn’t that have been great?…Come on! Where’s “Big Pussy”? Come on! Let’s make it happen…I wanted that.” Graham adores and advocates gun violence as much as his hero Sarah Palin.

Thankfully, the response to this version of the Boston Tea Party was tepid.



In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U

ALASKAN PIE

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…

I can still remember

Palin’s slutty flight attendant style

And when she blew her only chance

With John McCain in the Big Dance

In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver

When Levi sold her down the river

Bad news at her doorstep

She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied

Of all those gifts that she did hide

She took Alaskans for a ride

As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye

You were shady and darn lazy

With a crazy beehive

And your background boys were making turkey head pie

Then you quit on the third day of July

Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love

After talking with God up above?

Did the good Lord tell you so?

Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?

Do dead fish still go with the flow?

And can Todd’s sister score me some good blow?

Well you know that your prospects are grim

’cause you’re way way out there on a limb

You’re sure to have the blues

Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”

With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb

You’re just a third rate school alum

Today your future died

We started singing

Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye

You were shady and darn lazy

With a crazy beehive

And your background boys were making turkey head pie

Then you quit on the third day of July

Quit on the third day of July

Now for two years all you did was drone

Remember Sarkozy on the phone?

But just what will your future be?

Will you pester us like a has been queen?

Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?

In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town

Take along your beauty pageant crown

And bridges that you burned

Oh, please never return

And those hits you took will leave some marks

A “Barracuda” is no shark

And you were always in the dark

Today your future died

We were singing

Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye

You were shady and darn lazy

With a crazy beehive

And your background boys were making turkey head pie

Then you quit on the third day of July

Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter

The ice in your veins may even melt-ah

Ethics problems coming fast

You’re landing hard on your ass

No throwing stones in a house of glass

When you’re starring in a demon cleansing mass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume

You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon

Your fans would shout and dance

Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!

Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal

And that was when your fate was sealed

Do you recall what was revealed

The day your future died?

We started singing

Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye

You were shady and darn lazy

With a crazy beehive

And your background boys were making turkey head pie

Then you quit on the third day of July

Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face

Not knowing a Supreme Court case

Forget about the Bush Doctrine

So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick

Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”

Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage

Your hands were clenched in fists of rage

Everyone then could tell

You were praying for the bell

And as you hoped that you could land a right,

To salvage something of the night

We saw Biden laughing with delight

That day your future died

Joe was singing

Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye

You were shady and darn lazy

With a crazy beehive

And your background boys were making turkey head pie

Then you quit on the third day of July

Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues

And she cannot handle interviews

She quit her job and walked away

She could not take it any more

She hightailed it right out the door

Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the voters beamed,

The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams

Sherry Johnston was tokin’

The “barracuda” broken

We did not really want to boast

But “Mama Bear” was finally toast

She’ll write about it through her ghost

That day her future died.

And we were singing

Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye

You were shady and darn lazy

With a crazy beehive

And your background boys were making turkey head pie

Then you quit on the third day of July

Quit on the third day of July

We were singing

Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye

You were shady and darn lazy

With a crazy beehive

And your background boys were making turkey head pie

Then you quit on the third day of July

Quit on the third day of July