It was so thoughtful of Bryan Lourd to take pity on Madonna and find her a job at his annual Friday night Oscar orgy. Standing by the door nearly the entire time, the ex-actress appeared to be the official guest greeter as Nicole Kidman, George Clooney and Sean Penn strolled by. But the stalkarazzi didn’t go into a frenzy until Jared Leto arrived. Was it because he packed on 45 pounds to portray Mark David Chapman (Lennon’s killer) in Chapter 27 or because he dates all those US magazine cover actresses. (Tell the truth: could you pick a hefty and hairy Leto out of a line-up?) After perpetrating that puerile Vanity Fair Naked Hollywood issue, Tom Ford inexplicably wasn’t embarrassed about showing up: what’s worse — that, or the fact that, for two years now, he’s been waiting for his first big movie directing break despite Lourd being his agent. (Did you hear Tom’s rag trade news? Designing a men’s line for Ermenegildo Zegna. Opening a namesake boutique on Madison Avenue. Yawn.) Lourd predictably had mega-wattage at the bash, but that also begged the question: why the hell aren’t these CAA clients too busy working to attend? At least Mel Gibson was wrangling extras on the edge of southern Mexico’s rainforests in the state of Veracruz (for his pre-Columbian epic Apocalypto) instead of padding around his agent Ed Limato’s poshness with Denzel Washington, Felicity Huffman and her husband William Macy. Limato’s party was wall-to-wall studio suits: toppers from Fox, Sony, Universal and Paramount were some who swung by (interesting how Brad Grey was soldered to Tom Freston’s side). As always, it didn’t matter what talent made it to Ari Emanuel’s shindig because the biggest star is that $10 million Brentwood mansion he’s so proud of — aka the tax write-off to dispel all those rumors from agency rivals that Endeavor is over-leveraged.

Clockwise: Bryan with Brian & Gigi; Ed; Joel with Ari. (Photos not from these parties.)