Evan Solomon, eh?

In which I lobby to appropriate a Canadian TV show

So there’s this guy named Evan Solomon. Not me. Well, yes actually me, but another one, too.

He is — sorry, was — the host of a Canadian political show called “Power and Politics” on the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (it’s not 100% clear, but I think they have more than one broadcasting channel). I beat Canadian Evan™ to Twitter and secured @evansolomon to his proletarian @evansolomoncbc. As penance, I was forced to endure a never ending queue of mistaken Canadians at-mentioning me to complain about my (his) inability to hold various Canadians’ feet to the fire over…whatever.

All that ended yesterday when Canadian Evan™’s world came crashing down around him. His tangled web of drugs, crime, adultery, and extortion unraveled, taking with it his entire — sorry, sorry, I’m being told he actually just sold some very expensive artwork. This, apparently, is not tolerated in America’s tuque.

WHO CARES?

Apparently a FUCKING. TON. OF. CANADIANS.

I made what I thought was a not-that-funny joke about it. But Canada was impressed and showed it with a (possibly literal) avalanche of retweets, faves, mentions, DM’s, follows, news coverage, and some kind of maple syrup-based social media engagement that crashed Twitter analytics.

My phone wouldn’t stop buzzing, but I really knew things had gotten out of control when I was trending in Ottawa.

Someone told me “Trending in Ottawa is a bit like your band being huge in Belgium.” Considering I don’t have a band and haven’t produced any music since playing Hot Cross Buns on the recorder in third grade, I’m going to assume she meant that trending in Ottawa is a remarkable achievement that I ought to be proud of. I am.

MEDIA FIRESTORM

The press came calling immediately.

Well, almost immediately. The first thing that happened was some of Canadian Evan™’s reporter friends DM’d me thinking I was him.

This guy is an “investigative reporter”. He should investigate why his political journalist colleague would have a Twitter profile photo wearing a Hawaiian Punch tee shirt.

Okay but seriously, after that some reporters who actually knew how to read did intentionally contact me.

Canada’s Buzzfeed!

Canada’s Huffington Post!

Canada’s, uh, “global” news!

I also did a video interview and two radio interviews, none of which am I good enough at the internet to actually find links to.

WHAT’S NEXT

Several particularly smart Canadians have pointed out that there’s now a political show missing its host, and that CBC could save quite a few Loonies on new business cards and graphics if they just gave it to me.

Do I have any television experience? None.

Do I know anything about Canadian politics? Nothing.

Am I even legally allowed to work in Canada? Almost certainly not.

But I do know from experience that most of the people hosting American political shows don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. I mean, come on, they even gave Sarah Palin and Donald Trump their own shows at one point, and that seem to be working out fine.

If you don’t think this guy could host of something called “Power and Politics” you’re crazy

This picture was originally used as a sarcastic audition for Medium’s legal team. I don’t see any reason it can’t work equally well as an audition to host a show critiquing the politics of a country I’ve been to less than 10 times based on nothing other than coincidentally matching names.

I’m not satisfied with my 15 minutes of fame — or, as a kind Canadian was thoughtful enough to convert into metric for me, my 46.3 millihectares of fame.

What do you say, Canada?