An extremely drunk driver utterly failed in his efforts to make some New York City cops an offer they couldn't refuse.

When police discovered 35-year-old Alcides Gonzabay passed out in his still-running grey 2013 Audi with an open bottle of Captain Morgan, he was extremely forthcoming — with both a confession and a bribe.

"I took coke before I drove...I was drinking on the highway, I'm not going to lie to you," Gonzabay told officers at the scene, the complaint states. "I was drinking tequila — a big bottle — around 12:30," said Gonzabay, who told officers that's when he started driving down from White Plains, the complaint said.

Gonzabay hit a .29 BAC, which he then countered with a $40,000 bribe, apparently telling police, "I don't want my mother to see me in a cell. Yo, real talk, I'll give you $40,000."

Unfortunately for Gonzabay's mother, he was arrested and processed at Manhattan's 24th Precinct, where, according to the complaint, he again tried to bribe his way out of trouble, this time by also asking for a favor.

"I will pay you $50,000 and expensive watches from a safe in my house if you take me home and drop off my car," he said, according to the complaint.

Gonzabay's bribes didn't get him out of jail, but they did get five extra charges tacked on to his DUI arrest.