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Meanwhile, Amazon has cities stumbling over each other to offer incentives and tax breaks for the privilege of becoming its second headquarters, even as CEO Jeff Bezos has become the world's richest man with a net worth right around $100 billion. Just for comparison, the entire annual operating budget for the city of Pittsburgh — one of the cities Amazon is reportedly considering — is less than $600 million. There's also your other big problem, the one we never used to talk about? You know ... women. From Uber's toxic workplace, to reports of venture capitalists harassing female entrepreneurs, to that Google bro who posted that manifesto saying women tend to be more neurotic than men even as the company undergoes a federal investigation into whether it pays women less than men ... none of this is good. I know you say you're trying, and that it's not all men in the tech industry, that women need to "lean in" more, but come on — if a problem keeps coming up again and again and again, maybe the problem is you. Plus, to be totally honest, you're coasting on old accomplishments. The iPhone is 10 years old now and there's only so many times you can impress us with bigger, brighter screens and better cameras and new apps. Don't get us wrong — we love our phones, but they're just not that sexy anymore. Amazon Alexa and Google Home and all those other gizmos are kind of fun, but honestly it's a little bit creepy to know this thing is sitting in the corner just ... waiting for us to talk to it. That Joaquin Phoenix movie you had us watch — we thought that was a dystopia, a warning, like "Blade Runner" or "Brazil." We didn't realize you actually wanted one of these things and were going to build it.

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