Whatever Goes On In A Couple’s Bedroom Is Between Them And The God They Live To Spite

America is a place where, supposedly, everyone is considered equal. We talk and talk about how we respect the right to free speech, we respect the right to bear arms, and we respect freedom of religion. So, why is it that when it comes to matters of the heart, we feel like we should have a say about what other people do?

Listen up: Whatever goes on in a couple’s bedroom is between them and the God they live to spite.

The fact is, it is absolutely none of my business what you and your partner do before the higher power you yearn to provoke. As long as you’re mature, consenting adults, who am I to judge how you choose to spit in the eyes of your omnipotent, omniscient deity?

…it is absolutely none of my business what you and your partner do before the higher power you yearn to provoke.

While my partner and I may act one way in our bedroom, two other people might instead spend their time salivating at the chance to scorn the all-powerful being who determines their fate. And so what? The bond shared between a couple and their divine enemy is private. Leave their situation up to God and those two persistently spiteful individuals, and pick on someone your own size.

It’s 2015. How are we seriously still having this discussion?

Bottom line: Whatever happens between a couple behind closed doors, that’s for them and the gatekeeper to Heaven and Hell to decide. Not you. Not me. Just their God and the two people who have vowed to prod Him until Judgment Day.