Delegates from music communities around the world are today meeting with Death in order to broker a deal that will hopefully save the merciless loss of any more true heroes. In turn overrated self proclaimed 'Guitar God' and perennial 'White Blues Fag' Eric Clapton has been offered as a human sacrifice to establish this peace.

In a tragic week that has seen the passing of Motorhead and heavy metal legend Lemmy Kilmister and one of the true greats David Bowie - fans have been mourning their loss with a renewed fear for who might be next.

Mojo music magazine elder, Skeeter Mcphillips commented to gathered press prior to the peace treaty meetings he and other delegates would be having that:

"While we have seen tragic deaths in recent times including that of Lou Reed, Jack Bruce and Davey Jones. Few in recent years have compared to the earth shattering, life altering deaths of legends Lemmy Kilmister and David Bowie. We must stop this madness before any more greats are taken."

In order to prevent the deaths of Robert Plant, Chuck Berry, Keith Richards, Ozzy Osbourne, Leonard Cohen, Billy Gibbons, Ray Davies, Iggy Pop, Ringo Starr, Rod Stewart, Brian Wilson, Malcom Young, Alice Cooper and Gary Glitter it has been proposed to offer up the body of former Cream guitarist and Dad of the year 1991 - Eric Clapton as a sacrifice to the Grim Reaper in the hopes he will leave those that we actually cherish to continue to walk among us.

Should even Death choose not to be associated with Eric Clapton a secondary list of potential sacrifices has been made public which includes - Mick Jagger, Jimmy Page, Bob Dylan and all of the remaining members of the Eagles.