The harmony between thought and reality is to be found in the grammar of the language.

– L. Wittgenstein

I like words. I’m not saying I don’t make occasional grammatical errors when typing, but I try not to (and always appreciate people pointing them out to me)… to an almost neurotic extent. I certainly don’t expect people to be as nuts as me when it comes to this stuff, but I’ll tell you, it is near impossible for me not to notice even the most insignificant errors in either text or speech. This shit just does something to me, like a burning sensation in the Wernicke’s area of my brain. I don’t know why, I wish I could stop it, but sadly I fear it is beyond my control. Just the other day, for example, a colleague was heading up to the cafeteria and came by my desk to ask, “Hey, you want to come with Joe and I up to grab some lunch?” It took everything in me not to respond, “Sure, me would really like to join you.” I cordially refused, not because of his poor grammar but because I brought my lunch that day. At least that’s what I tell myself. I’ve made it a point not to correct others (my wife may disagree) because I fully understand how annoying that can be… but this is the internet, it’s Friday, and I’ve some time on my hands, so here goes, nit-picky and banal as it might be 🙂

It is a hop plant, not a hops plant. Adding an “s” indicates plurality, meaning there is more than one. This is a weird one because we are often adding more than one hop pellet or cone to our wort, it might be helpful to think of it as a particular hop strain. If you’re asking someone for the schedule with which they hopped a beer, you’re after their hop schedule, not their hops schedule. If while perusing the LHBS you can’t find those green chunks of aromatic goodness, you might ask the employee where the hops are stored. A good IPA is not hopsy, it is hoppy, because the word is hop, not hops.

Since we’re on the subject of hops… most American hops originated from the Pacific Northwest, a region with a large Native American influence, thus some hop names were influenced by this culture. Two of the more commonly mispronounced hop names I hear frequently are Willamette and Chinook, with the former often mispronounced “will-uhh-met” and the latter incorrectly pronounced “chu-nook,” where the “ch” is sharpened as in the word “chug.” Willamette is correctly pronounced “will-ahh-mitt,” with the emphasis on the second syllable. Chinook has a soft “ch,” similar to the word “chagrin,” and is accurately pronounced “shu-nook.”

Wort becomes wort once hops are added. From the time it leaves the mash tun to the time those hops are added, it is referred to as sweet wort.

Beer becomes beer the moment yeast is introduced to the wort, regardless of fermentation activity or carbonation. This is why some breweries do wort giveaways and won’t allow yeast to be pitched until it leaves the facility.

Lautering is the process of separating the grain from the sweet wort; sparging is a part of the lautering process that refers specifically to the rinsing and additional extraction of sugars from the mashed grains.

Acetaldehyde is pronounced exactly how it’s spelled “acet-ald-ehyde.” It is not “acetyl-aldehyde.”

Here’s one I only recently learned when someone corrected me, which led to a quick Google search that supported the correction. I’d always pronounced diacetyl as “di-AH-si-tul,” with the emphasis on the the “ah.” However, it appears the correct pronunciation is “di-uh-see-tul.” It has come to my attention that both ways are correct!

Grain becomes malt when it goes through the malting process. Some of the grains used regularly in brewing are unmalted. There’s no such thing as roasted barley malt. Grist typically refers to milled grain.

Lager is a general term used for beer that is fermented with a yeast that requires cooler temperatures and a period of ageing. Pilsner is a specific style of beer. Pilsner is a lager, lager is not necessarily a Pilsner. When someone says they made a Pilsner, I assume it is either Bohemian, German, or American; when someone says they made a lager, I wonder what kind.

The term “dough-in” means to blend the grist with the mash liquor at a protein rest temperature, usually between 100-120°F. “Mashing in” refers to blending the grist with the mash liquor at strike temperature.

That cloudy Bavarian-style beer that gets a lot of people into craft beer is pronounced “hef-e-vi-tsen,” definitely not “hef-uh-wise-in.” Similarly, hefeweizen is a type of “vice-be-uh,” not “wice-beer” (Weissbier).

Ahh, that feels good! Please do engage in this cathartic exercise with me by sharing anything I may have missed. And to those who take offense to this, lighten up, I’m just having a bit of fun. Cheers!

PS – it looks like the Trub Debate is leading by a fairly substantial margin. If you haven’t voted yet, you still have 2 days, click here to view the poll and vote for the exBEERiment you think I should do!

PS2 – I just received a newly designed yet-to-be-named IC from JaDeD Brewing that I plan to test soon, the thing is mind-blowingly cool, stay tuned for my review and data!

PS3 – if I made any grammatical errors in this post, please be nice to me…

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