"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" - Hunter S. Thompson

The first step was Paddy Ryder's wish to escape from the airport. Then Dayne Beams, too, wanted out. But the weirdness only really escalated when Ryan Griffen quit the Dogs, went bush and turned his phone off as the carnage ensued.

The Bulldogs moved on their coach, and then retaliated with an offer that was as difficult to comprehend as the infinite universe – $6million-$7 million over seven years for a kid who's played nine games. We assume he isn't being paid in Hong Kong dollars.

But Greater Western Sydney wasn't finished. The Giants were still stalking the nightclub floor in the wee hours of the trading period, touting their AFL drink cards, hoping to pick up someone else who would complement Griffen and Joel Patfull.

They were eyeing Ryder, who had been betrothed to Port Adelaide by his manager Paul Connors. The manager wouldn't let the Giants so much as buy Paddy a drink, or have a phone call.