There are few things I love more than making banana bread that isn’t quite banana bread. So much so that when I came home from work on Saturday night, instead of curling up in fetal position and crying because I just spent all Saturday at work with the foreboding knowledge I’d be spending all Sunday at work too, I made Double Chocolate Banana Bread Protein Bars.

And then I curled up in fetal position and cried a little.

Because tomorrow is Sunday.

And aforementioned things.

And after Sunday is Monday through Friday.

But I digress!/My brain is jelly!

There is something so satisfying about fucking with banana bread. (Note the preposition there. I am not some creep/13 year old boy.) Probably because it’s hard to make bad banana bread. It’s just a plain old good, easy, 2 bowl, hand mixable endeavor. And I’m always looking for new places to put protein powder. Places that don’t see it coming. Like in banana bread. Or in sticky stuff. In my hair. And these bars take on the protein powder pretty well. Just like my hair. Add in all the other goodies and you have a protein bar that’s similar to a Fiber Love bar and an apartment that smells so heavenly it almost makes staying in on a Saturday night with my dog and my exhausted emotions okay.

Almost.

BEING A GROWN UP IS HARD.

Pro Tip: Try topping these protein bars with some frozen yogurt or ice cream. It’s a motherfucking revelation.

BEING A GROWN UP IS ICE CREAM.

DOUBLE CHOCOLATE BANANA BREAD PROTEIN BARS

makes 16 bars

ingredients:

1 ¼ cups of millet flour

¼ cup almond flour

½ cup chocolate protein powder of your choice (non-whey powder to keep it vegan)

¼ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

¼ cup powdered peanut butter

½ teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons of vegan butter , melted (or some oil of your choice)

¼ cup Truvia baking blend

2 tablespoons of maple syrup or agave

2 tablespoons of flax seed mixed

4 super ripe bananas, mashed

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

¼ cup almond milk

½ cup (56g) chopped walnuts

½ cup (60g or so?) extra dark chocolate chips

2 tablespoons chia seeds

Don’t mind me…it’s Saturday and I found chocolate in crevices…

Preheat your oven to 350. Either line 2 square cake baking dishes or one jelly roll baking dish with parchment paper or cooking spray. Set aside.

In a small bowl, combine your flax seed with 6 tablespoons of water. Whisk it all together for a minute and put the bowl in the fridge for at least 15 minutes or so.

In a large bowl combine the flours, protein powder, cocoa powder, powdered peanut butter, and salt. For the best results, use a sift to make sure everything gets all good and mixed. If you’re not a psycho with a sift, use a whisk to combine the dry ingredients. Just really make sure it’s all mixed well.

In a medium bowl combine the melted butter (or oil), Truvia, and maple syrup (agave). Mix until smooth. Remove the flax/water mixture from the fridge and whisk it a little more. It should be good and thick. Toss it with your wet ingredients and mix well. Now mix in your mashed bananas. Mix mix mix! Add in the vanilla extract and the almond milk. Mix harder, child!

Combine the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients. Stir til smooth. Add in the walnuts and chocolate chips. Stir. Add in the chia seeds. Stir.

If you’re using the 2 square cake pans, split the batter up evenly and spread an even layer in each pan. It should be about ½” thick or so. If you’re using the jelly roll pan, spread all the batter evenly to about ½” thick as well. Bake for 20-25 minutes. Let cool. Cut! Enjoy! Top with ice cream! You’re an adult! An adult who’s maybe gaining weight! Fuck!

NUTRITION per bar

181 calories . 24g carbs . 8g fat . 7g protein . 4g fiber . 9g sugar