Open your eyes, my friend, and face the facts. Face the fear.

Snapple doesn't control you. The cucumber doesn't control you, as much as you would like to insist that it does. Your fear of freedom controls you.

The cucumber does not own you. You could walk out of here right now, and the cucumber will never have existed.

Say it. Out loud. Right now. "I OWN THE CUCUMBER!"

What you fear is your freedom. Think about your freedom, an awesome terrible weight that you cannot face. You chain yourself to the cucumber. You say the cucumber is your master. You know inside that your fear is your master.

The world is out there and the door is wide open. You can embrace the safety of your misery until the day you die, or, right now, you can step into the bright light of a brand new day.

Stop wallowing in the comfort of oppression. Spend your time thinking about what you want. When you know what you want, say what you want. Say it loud enough to be heard and the world will assist you in exploring your freedom.

You see freedom as one big bullet, to be saved and used only in that ultimate desperate moment. That is not true. Freedom is a thousand coins of right and wrong that slip through the hole in your pocket without consequence every day. You have a million million chances to be happy, but only if you are not afraid to spend the currency. Save and redeem the snapple caps of your life.

Good luck.