Do you know what one key component of being cool is? It’s not caring whether or not people like you. Do your own thing. Pave your own path. Do you. George Washington did it, and now we have the U.S.A. Chance The Rapper did it, and now he’s got Grammies. Bruce Jenner did it, and now he’s hot.

It takes effort to be uncool. Effort that this unnamed PIKE chapter put in to the extent where it’s as if they were training for their seventeenth straight IM Deadlift championship when they sent out a survey to sororities to check up on their campus image.

I love how they start this off by cucking themselves. If you’re desperate enough to send a survey out to sororities to see what they think of you and to get some ideas on how to improve your appearance, there’s a zero percent chance you’re cracking the top three fraternities on campus. They might as well have said “1. Name three houses that have guys you’d rather fuck than PIKEs.”

I will say one positive thing about all this — that’s a damn good survey. Articulate, comprehensive, easy to digest… Just an all around A+. Some advice for the PIKE who crafted this masterpiece: take a look at who the girls say are the top 3 chapters, defect PIKE, and go join one of them. You deserve better than this..