The basic theory behind video game progression is pretty simple: Better weapons let you kill harder enemies, who in turn give you better weapons. It's the circle of not-having-a-life. And it keeps on turning until you eventually have the best weapon in the game, and you weep like Alexander, for there is nothing left to conquer. But every once in a while, via laziness, sleep deprivation, or just a good ol' fashioned rabid cocaine addiction, the developers throw gamers a curve ball ...

5 Assassin's Creed II Thinks Brooms Are Weapons Of Mass Destruction

The best parts of the Assassin's Creed series involve you scampering up buildings and leap-killing the hell out of an unsuspecting guard or, if the targeting system readjusts at the wrong moment, hawk-stabbing the Christ out of Todd, some guy standing six inches to the left of the unsuspecting guard.

Ubisoft

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"Oh god, Todd, I am so sorry."

The worst part of the Assassin's Creed series is ... everything else. The plot is based on something the developers half-remembered from a History Channel special, the premise is less cyberpunk than it is cyber-soft-rock, and the dialogue aspires to being wooden -- right now it's particleboard.

So in order to keep you entertained though the 20-hour slog of story endurance, you get increasingly awesome ways to teach Todd to watch where the hell he's standing: battle hammers, axes, maces, halberds, and uh ... brooms?

Ubisoft

Ubisoft

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Cleaning up the streets in more ways than one.

You thwacked that guy with a broom so hard blood flew out. Remember that force equals mass times acceleration, so that straw has to be travelling at relativistic speeds. Here's that same broom, bludgeoning the Catholic out of a guy wearing full plate mail: