BERLIN—tensions in Europe unexpectedly climbed several notches over the weekend when German Chancellor Angela Merkel, being interviewed on a popular lifestyle show here, revealed that she was planning a home renovation to significantly increase the size of her living room.

“Wir brauchen mehr Lebensraum,” Merkel said to Sarah Kuttner, host of the popular program Wochenenden zu Hause.

Immediately the armies of Poland, Russia, Ukraine, and France went on highest alert. Belgium attempted to put its army on highest alert, but he was at the dentist and could not immediately be contacted.

After the program, Merkel attempted to calm the waters by reassuring other countries that nothing was imminent. “We would not plan to launch this for another month or two,” she explained. “If we went now, our vehicles could get bogged down in the mud, while if we wait, we can still finish before winter.”



The situation only got worse when the Chancellor went on to talk about her vacation plans.