Michael Cohen has Mixed Feelings About Screwing Over Trump Instead of Democracy

NEW YORK (THEPLEBIAN): According to sources close to the President’s former lawyer, Michael Cohen has mixed feelings about working against the president instead of working against the United States. “ The FBI has made it clear to me that it is in my best interests to work for the betterment of this land but it just doesn’t come easy to me” Mr. Cohen said according to one of his friends. “I’m just not used to doing what would be helpful to common people at the expense of the privileged. Usually I do the opposite.”

On the flip side, part of the lawyer was relieved to be working against the president. According to close associates of Mr. Cohen, he was angry with the president for suggesting that his wife was ‘almost as attractive as Ivanka. ’ “I mean fuck that guy,” Michael Cohen said to a friend.