Opinion: Hey There Delilah, I Don’t Think I’m Gonna Come Visit You in New York City Actually

Hey there Delilah, what’s it like in New York City? I’m a thousand miles away, and honestly, I think it’s gonna stay that way.

I’ve been talking about visiting for a while now but you live in the epicenter of a fatal disease, so I think it’s gonna be a hard pass from me. I would have loved to have gone and done all the New York stuff with you but I just don’t wanna risk getting sick. You understand, right?

We could have gone to whatever dive bar is in your neighborhood that charges like $40 for a well pickleback shot then ordered late night Taco Bell Cantina, but maybe it’s best if we just don’t talk anymore. Like, at all. We don’t fully know how this thing spreads and phones have gotten pretty advanced.

Oh, by the way, remember how I said every simple song I wrote for you would take your breath away? Yeah, so if that happens for real, please call 9-1-1. Seriously, have you been watching Cuomo every night? This thing hasn’t even peaked yet. It must be so insane actually being in New York City right now.

Oh by the way, how are online classes? That must stink that you’re still in school during all this. Did anyone at your dorm catch it yet? Wow, I’m so glad I never stepped foot in that petri dish of an apartment complex. Coronavirus is probably not even the worst disease floating around in there.

Like I said, a thousand miles seems pretty far but honestly, I don’t know if it’s even far enough. Let’s just say, for now, you stay over there and I’ll stay over here, and that’s that, okay?

Oh right, I forgot to ask, how are you?