Hopatcong ex-wife writes 'loser' on alimony checks; ex-husband sues her

A Hopatcong woman who says she is terminally ill with cancer is being sued by her ex-husband for alleged harassment and infliction of emotional distress because she has written "bum" and "loser" and other perceived insults on the memo line of her $186 weekly spousal support checks to him.

Attorney Gregg D. Trautmann filed a lawsuit Thursday in Superior Court, Morristown, on behalf of client Francis J. Wagner Jr., 61, who contends he has suffered emotional distress and that the memo line notes have exacerbated his poor health, which also includes cancer plus a bad heart.

The ex-spouse, Diane Wagner, 57, said she endured drunken bouts from her former husband during their 10-year marriage and that she filed for divorce. She said her ex-husband collects Social Security/Disability, and that she couldn't afford a divorce trial so she agreed to pay her non-working ex-husband $744 a month in spousal support so she could end the marriage.

She said she agreed to pay $744 a month from the time of her divorce, recorded in July 2014, and continuing for six years thereafter.

"As far as I'm concerned I can write anything I want on the memo line because it's a note to myself. I was the victim in that marriage. What more blood does he want from me? I pay him religiously," Wagner said in a telephone interview.

Diane Wagner said that she is currently undergoing treatment for cancer that began in her lungs and has progressed to her bones. She said she can barely afford the alimony/spousal support but when she filed for a reduction, she said, she was refused by a Superior Court family division judge.

The lawsuit states that the divorce between the Wagners was finalized on July 21, 2014. Attached to the complaint are some of the weekly checks that Diane Wagner says she mails to her ex-husband's mother's home in Denville. The weekly support amount of $186.04 is made payable to Francis Wagner and in the memo lines the words "bum," "loser" or alimony/adult child support appear.

Diane Wagner said she was faithfully mailing the checks and then felt humiliated when a friend this past spring alerted her to postings on a Facebook page maintained by the Trautmann & Trautmann law firm.

The posting, dated March 11 and still on the Facebook page as of Thursday, included a copy of one of Diane Wagner's checks to Francis Wagner. On the address portion of the check, the name Diane and town Hopatcong is visible but Diane's last name and street address are blacked out. The check for $186.04 is made payable to Francis, with the last name blacked out. The memo line reads: Alimony/adult child support.

The redacted check appears on the Facebook page with the law firm comment: "Alimony for the man! What's funny is that the now ex-wife so hated paying our client -- the husband -- $800 per month for the next six years as alimony and she had written Alimony/Adult Child Support in the memo of the weekly checks -- until we put a stop to that harassment." The law firm Facebook post garnered 36 likes and a comment "Hilarious!"

Though the Facebook page displays a copy of the check Diane Wagner said was written by her, she didn't get a letter from Trautmann asking her to stop writing notes on the memo line until July of this year, four months after the posting.

The letter, dated July 22, advises Wagner: "Please be advised that your writings are causing my client severe emotional distress and have led to him having sustained heart attacks in recent weeks. If you send a single check in the future with any writing upon it other than what is required to process the alimony payment a complaint will be filed against you for intentionally inflicting emotional distress upon my client."

"When I found out my personal business was on the Facebook page, that caused me distress," Diane Wagner said.

The lawsuit states that Wagner then started writing the acronym FOAD in the memo line. The complaint alleges that FOAD means "(expletive) off and die."

Diane Wagner said the acronym is her private notation to herself, not an expletive. Francis Wagner could not immediately be reached.

The lawsuit also alleges that a bank error in the spring resulted in a $5,000 deposit by Francis Wagner being accidentally placed in a joint account with his ex-wife. The lawsuit contends that Diane Wagner learned of the accidental deposit and withdrew the money. She told the Daily Record she did not do anything wrong.

The lawsuit is seeking unspecified compensation for the alleged emotional distress.

"A reasonable person under similar circumstances could not be expected to endure such harsh and extreme abuse that is being applied by the defendant in her compounding intentional acts designed to hurt the plaintiff," the lawsuit said.

Staff Writer Peggy Wright: 973-267-1142; pwright@GannettNJ.com.

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