For the all-conference defensive team, click here.

Before you read this, know that almost every single highlight video I’ve posted has aggressive trap music running over it the entire time.

While I personally love to listen to Future and 21 Savage (usually have it blasting loudly so that if anyone tries to break into my room, they’ll think twice), it may not make your boss super happy to hear the multiple n-words and disrespect for women. We don’t want a trip to HR do we?

So either watch it at home or have it on mute at the office. Or don’t and get fired, and flip the bird to your boss, destroying any semblance of a positive relationship you’d had with anybody in the workplace.

Either way, the’s my projected all-Big-12 team for the upcoming 2019 season.

QUARTERBACK

Sam Ehlinger, junior, Texas.

Last season, Sam Ehlinger put on one of the best performances for a quarterback in the history of Texas football. He put the team on his back (NSFW-language). After accounting for 41 touchdowns and throwing just five interceptions, there’s no doubt that he’s the best player under center in the conference.

What will determine how successful he is however is his offensive line play. Since running the ball is such a huge part of Ehlinger’s game, a la Tim Tebow, run blocking is going to be everything for the Longhorns this season, especially after losing star receiver Lil’Jordan Humphrey.

Hopefully for his sake, players like tail back Keontaye Ingram have big seasons as well to open up the passing game so Texas can get the ball from Ehlinger to Colin Johnson, a talented wideout who forwent the NFL Draft to return for his senior season–huge news for Longhorn Nation. Having the experience he has (and his 6’6″ frame) will benefit his quarterback greatly, and I think that the Texas gunslinger will replicate the season he had last year. Depending on where Texas lands in the Big 12 standings, Ehlinger may even get some Heisman votes.

RUNNING BACK

Kennedy Brooks, redshirt sophomore, Oklahoma.

Brooks averaged an impressive 8.9 yards per carry in 2018, and was a key component to the record-setting offense that Oklahoma had last year. He rushed for 1,056 yards despite splitting carries with Trey Sermon, who ran for just under 1,000. Since Kyler Murray and Marquise Brown are gone, it’ll be up to Brooks to help out Jalen Hurts and keep the offense humming along.

Underrated? Dude is consensus Big 12 all-conference

One foreseeable issue is that OU is going to start nearly a completely different offensive line, losing four out of five players from last year’s College Football Playoff team. The thing about Oklahoma, however, is that they don’t rebuild, they reload. The offense won’t be quite as potent as it was last year, but the Sooners will have no trouble scoring points on the ground with Brooks in the backfield.

Pooka Williams Jr., sophomore, Kansas.

The most important part of the Kansas offense last season as a true freshman, Pooka Williams Jr. rushed for over 1,000 yards in his true freshman season, a feat that has never been accomplished at KU. He finished third in the Big 12 in total rushing yards, behind Iowa-State-Cyclone-turned-Chicago-Bear David Montgomery and Kansas State’s Alex Barnes.

The problem with Pooka is that there is no guarantee that we will even get to see him this season. He was arrested in January on a domestic violence charge, and his future with the team remains uncertain.

“It’s an ongoing process and it’s not one that we’re going to mess with in any way,” said Les Miles about the situation. EDIT: Pooka Williams was cleared to play with a single-game suspension.

Before I get harassed and canceled on Twitter for honoring this guy, let me disclaim that this list is strictly for a player’s on-field performance. If I was doing the all good-guy team, Pooka wouldn’t be near it. But on the field? Kid is a wrecking ball.

WIDE RECEIVER

Ceedee Lamb, junior, Oklahoma.

Lamb last year was part of what was maybe the best receiving core in the country, alongside Heisman-winner Kyler Murray as quarterback as well as wide receiver Marquise “Hollywood” Brown. Lamb was his own special player despite the fact that he was lining up on the opposite side of one of the best receivers the Big 12 has ever seen. He had nearly 1,200 yards receiving and scored 11 times.

This year, Lamb will be the star wideout. Dude was averaging 18 yards per reception, a lot of which was due to his downfield speed. The man just gets open. Unfortunately for Lamb, he doesn’t have a cool moniker like Hollywood Brown. So I’ll call him, “CeeDeez Nuts.”

Jalen Reagor, junior, TCU.

Last season, Reagor finished fifth in the Big 12 in receiving yards. He’s one of the most talented athletes in the conference, and his numbers as a true sophomore reflect that conjecture. He averaged 14.7 yards per catch and crossed the goal line nine times. He even rushed for 170 yards on the season, averaging 13 yards per carry and scoring twice.

What separates Reagor from the rest of the pack? Speed, speed, speed. Kid was a track and field star in high school as a Waxahachie Indian (don’t get mad at me, I didn’t name the team), as well as winning gold in the state championships for the long jump. Despite having three different quarterbacks in 2018, he still managed to have the season he did.

Despite this, a lot of TCU’s success on offense will come down to redshirt freshman quarterback Justin Rodgers (if Rodgers starts, that is). Reagor is able to get open easily and torches defensive backs downfield, so he will be of great help to the new TCU quarterback, whoever he is.

Tylan Wallace, junior, Oklahoma State.

Wallace lead the Big 12 in receiving yards this past season at nearly 1,500 as well accounting for 12 touchdowns. He averaged over 17 yards per reception on 86 receptions, and was a major reason why the Cowboys were able to upset the sixth-ranked Texas Longhorns at home.

Another player who will have to rely on a new quarterback this season with the departure of senior quarterback Taylor Cornelius, Wallace will be a safety net for any new player starting under center. He’s a freak athlete who runs faster than my heart beats when I watch Marriage Rescue on the Paramount Network. If he is able to recreate his season from last year, or even improve on it, Wallace will be getting some looks for All-American teams.

TIGHT END

Grant Calcaterra, senior, Oklahoma.

Oklahoma is loaded at almost every skill position, and tight end is no different. Though Grant Calcaterra had fewer than 500 receiving yards, there were so many weapons on the Oklahoma offense that the tight end position may have been underutilized.

Although he is essentially a wide receiver, Oklahoma runs Calcaterra as a flex tight end in the same way they ran Mark Andrews a couple of years back. While there’s not a lot of blocking in his skill set, he has an innate ability to get open. This will be huge in conjunction with other star receiver Ceedee Lamb; he’s going to get a ton of opportunities this year.

OFFENSIVE LINE

Zack Shackelford, senior, Texas.

A three-star turned big star, Zack Shackelford is the anchor on the Texas offensive line, one that over-performed last year and was a major reason that Ehlinger had such a dominant season. He dominated from his position at center.

Couldn’t find any highlights so here’s an interview.

Coming in around 6’3, 300 lbs., Shackelford was great inside blocking, especially on Sam Ehlinger’s runs. Ehlinger ran up the middle quite a bit last season, considering he rushed for 16 touch downs over the course of the year. Even against highly touted defenses, like Georgia’s, he was able to get loose into the second level of the defense, partially because of Shackelford’s abilities.

Lucas Niang, senior, TCU

At 6’7″, 330 lbs., Lucas Niang is a massive prospect who opted to return for his senior season despite the great season he had at tackle for TCU last year. This is huge because most of the TCU offensive line is coming back, which will be key for the development of freshman quarterback Justin Rodgers, should Rodgers start.

A legit NFL prospect, Niang has a ton of ability and athleticism despite his frame. According to The Draft Network, Niang is a “necessary anchor against the bull rush, while also having the power to regain control of block and begin to drive. Forces edge rushers around the hoop with distance to the quarterback.”

Samuel Cosmi, redshirt sophomore, Texas.

Cosmi is a 6’6″ tackle for Texas. Built like an NBA power forward, Cosmi is very good with his leverage in spite of his height. He switched positions this year from right tackle to left, so we will see if he can make the necessary adjustments.

He made the all-Big-12 freshman team, and is coming back for his redshirt sophomore year.

Along with Georgia Tech transfer Parker Braun and the previously mentioned Zack Shackelford, I expect Cosmi to lead this line to be pretty dominant this year, and hopefully for their sake they will be able to matchup the amount of rushing touchdowns by the offense to the amount of rushing yards, as last year the ‘Horns scored on the ground 24 times yet only averaged around 150 rush yards per game.

Josh Sills, junior, West Virginia

An all-Big-12 lineman last season, Josh Sills is a tough country dude who loves camo as much as he loves pancaking people. Part of an offense that averaged 512 yards per game, good for second in the Big 12 and eighth nationally, Sills was a dominant force from the guard spot, and performed well all season despite the tricked-up nature of Dana Holgorsen’s complex offense.

Gone is Holgorsen, as well as quarterback Will Grier and wide receiver David Sills, so we will have to see what new WVU coach Neal Brown can do with Josh Sills’ abilities.

Jack Anderson, junior, Texas Tech

Anderson is the best offensive lineman at Tech this season, and the team has some work cut out for them as Tech loses its top two receivers in Antoine Wesley and Ja’Deion High. It is going to be massively important to give good protection to quarterback Alan Bowman, who tore it up in his freshman season. If the Red Raider signal-caller wants to continue this trend, players like Anderson have to step it up.

The offensive guard, coming in at 6’5″ and 320 lbs., was excellent in his sophomore season, being part of a line that gave up only two sacks per game despite ranking sixth nationally in pass attempts per game. If they can continue this dominance, then Tech’s offense should keep on rolling.

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