What if instead of a radioactive spider, Peter Parker had been bitten by a radioactive butterfly? He'd be a freaking laughingstock, that's what. Some ideas for "super heroes" should have never been spoken aloud, and when they were the creator should have been laughed out of the room, preferably through a tenth story window. Instead, seven of them were fitted with origin stories and sent to the presses giving us unintentional hilarity like: Advertisement

7 Madam Fatal Continue Reading Below Advertisement Madam Fatal was Murder She Wrote in the 1940s if Murder She Wrote involved more criminals getting punched in the face by an octogenarian lady. So it's more like that episode of The Golden Girls where Bea Arthur has to rescue Sofia from the Mafia using only her muscular, mannish body and her experience as a female wrestler (it is entirely possible we dreamed this episode). What Went Wrong? But like all super heroes Madam Fatal has a secret. Her Mike Tyson-like knock out power is fueled not by hatred of whippersnappers, but by testicles. And no, she doesn't eat them for protein. Madam Fatal is a dude. Continue Reading Below Advertisement And really, who hasn't had a date that ended just like this? Stupid Craiglist. The Madam's real name is Richard Stanton, a retired actor from New York, who dressed as a woman to rescue his daughter from some kidnappers. Richard liked it so much he decided to continue fighting crime using only his wits, face punching and acting abilities. By "acting abilities" we of course mean dressing like a woman all the time. That's his superpower. He/she is a superhero in the same way that Mrs. Doubtfire was a superhero. They could have made it less lame by, well, by doing anything. But more specifically, if the guy had used his super acting skills to disguise himself as a doctor, a policeman or as a fellow crook, using his amazing powers to disappear into any room. But no, Mister Stanton wrestles men while wearing old lady clothes. And we're guessing that when the crime fighting is over, well, he just leaves them on for a little while. Continue Reading Below Advertisement