Before you engage yourself into the thoughts and opinions of an overly sarcastic young Asian-American sports dweeb, let’s take a minute to digest the insanity that is the Golden State Warriors and the attempts of murder they’ve gotten away with, within the past week.

January 18, 2016: The Cleveland Cavaliers were reported by local fans to be missing after a run in with a group of guys from Oakland wearing yellow jumpsuits. The suspects were described by eye witnesses as “a bunch of dudes who reeked of champagne and were up to no good”. Investigators to this day are unsure of what exactly happened at the scene of the crime. Fortunately, the Cavaliers were found conscious a day later in the city of Brooklyn. All members returned home safe with the exception of Head Honcho David Blatt. His whereabouts are still unknown.

January 20, 2016: Reports scoured the nation entailing the beat down of the Chicago Bulls in the United Center. Witnesses proclaim that the muggers were indeed the same suspects from the Cleveland case. When investigators approached Bulls guard Jimmy Butler about the assault, Jimmy refused to speak. Those working on the case assume that Butler’s inability to look back because of a missing rear view mirror – may have been detrimental to Jimmy’s attempts of self defense.

January 22, 2016: Investigators from Indiana were able to track and identify the group of bandits – who by preference go by the Warriors. In attempts of arrest, the Warriors viciously mauled back at the group forcing the team of investigators back to Indiana with wounds and emotional damage.

January 25, 2016: In search of venting frustration, the Warriors decided to visit a local retirement home in Oakland only to clobber a group of retired tourist from San Antonio. The act of treason was quick and swift. Luckily, reporters were able to catch up with a tall man in cornrows who was fortunate enough to escape the scene of the crime with out any severe damages. When asked about what he saw, the survivor had nothing to say and stared blankly into the camera.

A moment of silence for the victims recovering from the recent acts of horror committed by the Warriors please…….

Thank you for taking precious time out of your day to pay homage to those who were absolutely steam rolled by the Warriors this past week. I truly appreciate it.

Back to the Subject In Hand

Now that we’ve recognized the greatness of the Golden State Warriors, it’s time to show love to the individuals who have been out performing their peers half way through the season thus far. The pool of talent and level of competition among the NBA is at an all time high. Numerous players have made the leap from mediocre to great, others have regressed and the usual suspects continue to amaze. Unfortunately, rosters are limited to twelve spots per team.

It is almost impossible to compose a list of twelve and feel good about it. The feeling of guilt from excluding the one player that you know damn well should be in it aches every bone in your body once the squad is finalized.

Because I am merely an observer from the couch, computer chair or bar – my opinion on who the reserves should be matter as much as Mike Tyson’s views on politics. But, a man can dream and if I did have the luxury of wearing expensive suits on the sidelines while having the authority to bark orders at grown men on a nightly basis – here’s who I’d send to Toronto as NBA All-Star reserves:

East

Starters: Kyle Lowry, Dwyane Wade, Lebron James, Carmelo Anthony, Paul George

Reserves:

Andre Drummond – The hairy shouldered behemoth is a walking double-double and perhaps the most disruptive center in the league on both ends of the floor. Andre leads the league in rebounds with 15.2 per game (per NBA.com) and has improved his overall offensive touch around the basket. Not to mention being the subject of perhaps the best all star campaign video man has ever created:

Demar Derozan – The Toronto Raptors have been kicking ass and taking names as of late winning eight of their last ten and much of this can be accredited to the improved play of Demar Derozan. Freak athlete by nature, Derozan has tortured opposing defenders with less fade away jumpers and more aggressive trips to the rim.

Paul Millsap – The motto of efficiency, Millsap’s consistent play and do-it-all skill set causes match up problems for any team that steps on court with Atlanta.

Pau Gasol – The Bulls have been weird this season. On some nights the flurry of talent will have a cohesive bond knocking off NBA nobles such as the Spurs, Cavaliers and Thunder. But then there are nights where they can look completely out of sync with no earthly idea on how to score the ball. However, Gasol has been a huge key to the nights where Chicago decides to show up.

Isaiah Thomas –

Need I say more?

Jimmy Butler – I know he’s given the whole thing up but he’ll probably look back on this season and use how he got snubbed a starting spot as motivation moving forward.

John Wall – Tough season so far for the Wizards due to some nagging injuries but Wall has done all he can and some to keep this team afloat.

I’m Kicking Myself Right Now: Giannis Antetokounmpo, Chris Bosh, Kemba Walker

West

Starters: Kobe Bryant, Stephen Curry, Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, Kawhi Leonard

Reserves:

James Harden – I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed such a turn around in fan base regarding a superstar of Harden’s caliber. The man posts two triple doubles in the span of three nights and yet the media overlooks this and decides to highlight a defensive slip up instead. Amazing.

Draymond Green – Unless you’ve been living under a rock, this one comes as the most obvious. Hell, Green should be starting.

Chris Paul – There’s not a single player that strikes more fear into my heart entering the fourth quarter with his team down. Despite all the crying Paul and the Clippers tend to do, his tenacity and competitiveness on both ends of the floor is unmatched.

Dirk Nowitzki – Don’t trust anybody who tells you they believed the Mavericks would be where they’re at this far into the season. Dirk continues to snipe from deep and the hair continues to flow.

Demarcus Cousins – Leader of the “Suicide Squad”, Boogie Cousins does things a man of his stature shouldn’t be able to do. I don’t think science has figured it out yet either.

Anthony Davis – In hindsight – the expectations for Davis coming into the season were a bit over the top. After a season where flashes of greatness were casually on display, hype surrounded the young superstar at a rapid rate. Despite not meeting the crazy expectations of most pundits, Davis has still been performing at an all star level on a team that has been a total letdown.

Klay Thompson – Apart of the most dangerous back court in the NBA and a vital member of a team whose 41-4. I rest my case.

I’m Kicking Myself Right Now: Damian Lillard, Lamarcus Aldridge, Dwight Howard

Make sure you catch up on our entire Team Preview Series, our Houston Rockets Player Profile Series as well as our SCS Round Table Sessions to help you get through the early season. Start your morning with SCS Rocket Science Daily and visit us throughout the day to keep abreast of all your Houston Rockets news and updates.