Mike Clevinger - Air Nation

Clev would feel 100% at home living a nomadic life, riding a sky bison, and dispensing indecipherable wisdom to disciples. His demeanor and attitude toward life means that he might be branded, initially, as a misift by someone like Tenzin, but the rest of the denizens of Air Temple Island would eventually recognize his awesome power and accept his eccentricities.

Corey Kluber - Fire Nation

The Fire Nation catches a lot of flak for descending into totalitarian dictatorship, betraying everyone, and deciding to take over the world. They’re also a hard-working, industrious people. I don’t think Kluber would try to take over the planet, but the intensity and rigor with which he attacks both the game and the strike zone would be lauded by the people of the Fire Nation. Unflinching, determined, he reduces hitters to ashes and would almost certainly be capable of bending lightning. His one shortcoming might very well be that his overwhelming power would be perceived as a direct threat to Lord Ozai.

Roberto Perez - Earth Nation

Seriously though, just look at Bebo.

Now, imagine him subtly shifting the ground beneath him in order to frame pitches. You want it. I want it. We all want it. Catchers, in general, seem like obvious picks for the Earth Nation, but Roberto Perez in particular seems like he’d kick up a wall of clay to stop a runner from sliding into second base.

Tyler Clippard - Water Nation

Is he overpowering? No. Is he crafty? Yes. Clippard bends with an artistic flair reminiscent of water bending masters that disorient their foes. He continues to induce pop-ups at a rate that barely even makes sense: 55% of the batted balls for his career are fly-balls, and 10% all batted balls this season are on the infield. He’s a master of deception, too: his career xFIP is 4.20 (nice), but his career ERA is only 3.14. Truly, his bending skills challenge our preconceived notions of what should be possible. And when the moon is full, I’ve heard that he is capable of bending the blood of batters.

Francisco Lindor - Air Nation, but definitely the Avatar

The agility and finesse with which Lindor fields his position would only be possible with Air Nation heritage. Most other Air Nation hitters rely on patience and above-average contact skills at the plate, so how do you explain his prodigious power?

Duh, he’s the Avatar. Lindor does everything well because he’s mastered all of the elements. The joy with which he plays the game and the undeniable talent he possess makes him an easy pick for one infused with Rava.

Jose Ramirez - Fire Nation

Jose plays with a chip on his shoulder that is rivaled only by early-show Zuko. The intensity with which he plays the game smolders, and the line drives off of his bat crackle with electricity. Also, imagine him playing with turtle ducks.

You’re welcome.

Jason Kipnis - Water Nation, non-bender

Something about the tenacity and loyalty of Kipnis strikes me as distinctly southern Water Tribe. However, outside of May 2015 he’s never displayed an overwhelming, earth-shaking talent. He’s been a consistent contributor and an important voice in the clubhouse; an ever-steady presence and a lynchpin for Lindor’s Team Avatar. He’s quick with a joke, too. Plus, can you imagine anyone else on the Indians roster more likely to become a member of the White Lotus?

I’m basically saying that Kipnis is Sokka. Fight me IRL if you disagree.

Franmil Reyes - Earth Nation

Seriously look at this dude and try to honestly tell me that you don’t think he can bend lava AND metal.

He also launches prodigious dingers with the kind of raw power that could only come from a lad raised outside a tea shop in Ba Sing Se.

Terry Francona - literally Uncle Iroh

Replace a passion for tea and Pai Sho with a passion for bunting and cribbage and we’re done here. Plus, Iroh would have definitely eaten dozens of popsicles in one sitting if he had the chance. Managing the Red Sox to multiple World Series victories is pretty much the same thing as befriending a dragon, making it teach you how to breath fire, and then redirecting lightning directly into the heart of the Yankees. I also like to imagine Iroh shouting, “What the F^&* is wrong with you?” to Zuko after Zuko throws a ball into the batters eye from the mound.

Tito would definitely fall asleep in a natural hot spring if given the chance.