I am speechless.

Really, I don't have words to describe how happy this exchange has made me, how it has touched my heart. I knew from the start my Santa was one of a kind, from the messages we have exchanged. Their stalking skills were finely tuned, as were their Diplomacy and Interrogation ones. It was my pleasure to provide them with information in such a manner - in our little RolePlay exchange.

My story with RPGs is a tragic one. I was once a girl of 15, and had newly discovered a world where I could be anyone I wanted, and act however I liked. My only limit was my imagination. Coming from an abusive household, Role Playing Games opened a door for me to escape, make new friends, and be happy.

Alas, it did not last for long. A deeply religious mother discovered my books and of course freaked out. Apart from everything else she called me, now the abuse included gems like "Devil Child", "Satan's Whore" and other lovely names. I returned from school one day to find her burning all my books in the fireplace. Every time I bought a book, no matter where I hid it, she would turn my room upside down, find it, and tear it and throw it away after beating me with it.

But I did not give up. I would NOT give up this world that was opened to me, a world where I could be truly free, just because of the delusions of a troubled woman. I moved out and rebuild my collection, one piece at a time, buying again books that I had purchased 6 or 7 times before. Slowly, carefully, I restocked my shelves and dwelt back into the elaborate stories, both as a player, as well as a Story Teller.

Only... one book has been eluding me ever since. The last time I saw it, 7 years ago, it was being thrown into a garbage truck. A 2nd Edition Mage the Ascension, the book I used to create my first EVER character in my RPG history. I have searched far and wide, but I could not find it in any respectable condition, or they couldn't deliver it to me. I had given up hope, and thought of it fondly, thinking I would never see it again.

Until now. Because my Secret Santa read my tale of woe, heard my call (of Cthulhu, as it seems!) and took pity on me.

I had told them I am involved in a Call of Cthulhu campaign lately, and wondered myself how it is that I have played so much CoC yet had never owned a single book. They remedied that by sending me the Core Rulebook, and a collection of short adventures set around the Cthulhu Mythos.

But the one book that makes me cry even as I write this... They found a 2nd Edition Mage for me. I have it again. It is in my hands, and I can't even see it clear from the tears. It means so much to me, to have again one of the very first books I ever bought in my Role Playing travels, a book that has been the source of many discussions and even more campaign.

I can't really stop the tears from falling. This is such an emotional gift for me, like all the abuse and the hate I received, all the damage I suffered while growing up because of my desire to create fantasy stories has been rectified.

The first thing I did after I received the gifts from this exchange was to reply to my Santa and tell them that this is not me that is replying. This is Zavara the Auto-Bot, because the actual me has fainted from the excitement. True story.

I am eternally grateful to my Awesome Santa, Laiquendai. Anything you ever need, from RP guidance to running an online campaign, I will be here for you.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

EDIT: Oh. My. GODS of all the Realms! I just realized my Santa is also my own RPG match! What are the freaking odds of that?!