So, as you might have heard, a hacker got control of most of the OITNB S5 episodes and has released all of the episodes that he has on some pirate server. I am committed to starting my Season 5 recaps as soon as the new season airs on Netflix.

In other words, I will leave whatever season I am in and jump straight to S5 whenever Netflix airs Season 5. I will return to whatever season I was writing about as soon as I am done writing about S5.

Season 2 Episode 1 "Thirsty Bird" was about:

* A first real look into the backstory of Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling)

* Big changes as Piper goes from the SHU (Solitary Confinement) for beating up Doggett (Taryn Manning) to a new facility in Chicago. Ultimately, we find out that she has been sent to Chicago to testify in the trial of Alex Vause's drug cartel boss Kubra (Eyas Younis).

* Another betrayal of Piper by Alex Vause (Laura Prepon).

Thirsty Bird is a reference to a picture Piper made on the wall of her solitary cell that she made using her meal.

5. "I Demand To Know Where We Are Going"

During the coverage of Season One, I told the story of how, during transport, I was treated more like a dog than a human being. So, to be 100% honest, the Federal Marshal's treated Piper better than thousands of State prisoners are treated as they are transported to and from facilities across the country every day.

One thing that was totally unrealistic was Piper's constant asking of every officer and every single inmate if they knew where they were headed. Every prisoner knows that officials won't tell you where you are going when you are being transported because it is seen as protection against being attacked in transit (they believe telling inmates a location would allow them to send that information to allies on the outside who might try to organize an escape plan).

Yes, in case you were wondering, you never are told where you are going before you leave or while in transit, until you arrive at your destination. Piper would absolutely know this. I knew this before I left quarantine (which is the place you go when you first arrive and your security level is being determined).

Also, the depiction of Piper trying to eat food and the spare nature of that food is pretty accurate. They do not uncuff you and you will most likely be eating a very terrible peanut butter sandwich.

4. I Left My Watch Back With My Freedom

Lolly (Lori Petty) tells Piper that she left her watch, "back with her freedom," after Piper asked what time it was.

Oddly enough, you can have, and wear, a watch in prison. At least in Michigan, you are allowed to purchase an approved watch from a state-approved vendor. Most everyone has a watch.

I honestly cannot remember if you are allowed to wear the watch during transit, but you definitely can have a watch in prison.

It is, however, unlikely Piper would continue to ask people so many annoying questions. The last thing anyone wants to do, especially when meeting new inmates, is to be continuously annoying.

3. Surprise, No Door

Piper seems surprised when she finds out that there is no door on the bathroom on the plane but in most facilities that I was in, where you did not have individual cells (where a single toilet is in the open of each cell) there were rarely doors on bathroom stalls (usually very low walls are on either side of each toilet and the front area is wide open).

There is actually a very complicated bathroom etiquette in most of the facilities where I was housed. Often, at peak times, you have to wait in line to use a stall. While you are in that line, it is very important to NEVER appear to be looking at anyone in those stalls (sadly, I even know someone who got a broken jaw for staring at someone in a stall).

At non-peak times, you can "save a stall" by putting your roll of toilet paper on one of the walls while you hang out by the showers (if there is no line). If there is a line, people sometimes try to use this method but it usually just pisses everyone else off.

There are also very complicated rules for shower etiquette but we will probably cover that in some future episode.

During "Thirsty Bird," Piper is housed in a mass cell at a higher security facility where the inmates stay in their cells for up to 23 hours a day. It really is true that the toilet in these kinds of cells (and in two-person cells) is right out in the open and that when people have to go #2 they do it right in front of everyone else (when you have to go, you have to go).