(With deepest apologies to Sammy Cahn, Jimmy Van Heusen & Frank Sinatra)

Comply with me, before you fly away

Remove those shoes and take a cruise

Through my peekaboo X-ray

Comply with me, I'm your friendly TSA



Comply with me, you domestic coach class bums

If you opt out I'll just give a shout

To my icy-handed chums

Comply with me, bend over here it comes



Once I get all up there where your hair is ticklish

I'll just fish

Got my wish

Once I get all up there you'll be squirming like an eel

You may squeal

At the feel

When we're together



Proctology is such a lovely trade

I'll show you love with my rubber glove

Try not to be afraid

I'd be a perfect gentleman, if you had just obeyed

Comply with me, I'm GS8 pay grade



Janet Napolitano says to spread 'em wide

Have you tried Astro-glide?

Janet Napolitano knows your clothes are off

Head aloft

Turn it and cough

When we're together



Don't crack wise or I'll ruin your whole day

Please don't frown when I pat you down

It alerts the CIA

It's perfectly legal practice except at Gitmo Bay

Comply with me, comply comply

Comply with me, obey, obey, obey!



Check out the security risks on that one! Yeah!

*Iowahawk reminds you: song parodies are the lowest form of humor

[update: a tip of the lid to A Lawyer's Mom for getting to the pun first]

