Transcript:

Doctor: Can I please talk to Pig? Pig: This is Pig. Doctor (on the phone): Hi, Pig...I have your test results. Pig: Oh my goodness. What are they? Doctor (on the phone): They're negative. Pig: Oh, gawd, nooooo...How much time do I have left? Doctor (on the phone): Relax, Pig. It's a positive thing. Pig: Negative is positive? Doctor (on the phone): Yes. Pig: Then what's a positive result? Doctor (on the phone): A negative thing. Pig: Positive is negative? Doctor (on the phone): Yes. Pig: Are you sure? Doctor (on the phone): I'm positive. Pig: Oh, gawd, nooooo...how much time do you have left? Doctor: Next time, you call him. Pig (on the phone): You lived a good life, Doc.