Share 0 SHARES

A SHORTAGE of intelligent politicians with sensible haircuts has led to the declaration of a ‘worldwide emergency’ and the launch of an international appeal.

“Initially we didn’t think wild hair mattered. Why couldn’t unconventionally coiffured politicians be intelligent? But evidently it’s the surest sign we have yet that you’re more likely to find signs of intelligent life in a gone off yogurt,” shared just one of close to 7 billion people desperately searching for a politician with a reliably boring hairdo.

As wild untameable hair, which is sometimes artificially tossed about in a haphazard fashion in a bid to disarm voters, proves increasingly popular and prevalent, the need for capable politicians with a drably decorated dome has never been more urgent.

“Crazy hair is not a prerequisite for being in power – we think more politicians need to be made aware of this. Honestly, come on forward. Don’t be shy,” confirmed the world at large.

Now turning its attention to some breaking news about how concentration camps are sort of this year’s must have accessory, the world issued a fresh spate of full page ads in newspapers, begging for any politician with a no fuss ponytail, or short back and sides to make themselves known to the nearest democracy in need.

“Sensible hair seems to indicate they at least have more brain cells than open investigations into their finances and misconduct in office and that means they’re in particular demand right now,” confirmed a recruiter currently scouring LinkedIn for suitable-haired candidates.