A couple of years ago we reported on the Jamaican mobile phone thief who got herself into a bit of a sticky situation in Negril when "a cellular phone which was stolen from a female shopper was found after it rang from within another shopper's vagina".

Yup, the criminal mastermind had "tamponed" the phone but a quick call to the number and her cover was blown. Cue a humiliating public extraction of said phone by furious owner who declared: "Mi nuh wan' dat deh phone fi use again, mi would dash it weh."

Quite so. You'd think that this cautionary tale would be enough to deter even the most desperate mobe-lifter, but they obviously don't read Jamaica's Western Mirror in Romania, because light-fingered Ruxandra Gardian has been snared by the same "let's dial the number and see where she's stashed it" ploy.

Gardian was fingered by a restaurant customer who said he saw her steal the phone from another diner, FemaleFirst reports. Police quizzed the 34-year-old without success and were about to let her go when some bright spark suggested they call the mobe.

"On dialling the number they heard a sound coming from under Gardian's clothes and took her to police headquarters to be strip-searched," the report continues. You know the rest. Suffice it to say that a shaken officer Aurel Popescu commented: "I've seen a lot in my time as a policeman but never anything like this."

The phone's owner has refused to take the device back, declaring it was "damaged beyond repair and he would be filing an insurance claim". That should make entertaining reading and will doubtless reach the finals of the "Top Ten Mobile Phone Insurance Claims" awards for 2005.

In the meantime, we'd like to make a simple suggestion to would-be female mobe-snatchers who intend to make good their escape with a 3G device concealed in their reproductive tract: stick it on vibrate or turn the bloody thing off. ®

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