I can’t lie. I’m a little jealous of The Sreet’s Scot Moritz. Okay, I’ll be honest. I’m really jealous of Scott Moritz. Dude probably gets paid a lot of money to discuss things clearly above his pay grade, and no matter how idiotic, nonsensical, and incoherent his ramblings are, he has a perplexing amount of job security.

In the latest chapter from the “Scott Moritz is a moron” anthology, Moritz discusses how iPad thefts will serve as an unintended boon for Apple

“I’m a little concerned. With so much attention on the device, it’s gonna be probably some unintended consequences. Picture, a lot of people run to the store, they’ve got this thing, it’s great, they’re kind of flashing it in public, and it’s gonna get stolen...

You feel bad for the rich kids and the trendy types who lost this thing, you know, the only thing worse for them from the actual theft of it, is now they don’t have anything to flash around, so I think they’ll be running back to buy additional iPads. I think this might be kind of an unintended consequence and a good thing for Apple – they’ll be able to sell, you know, they’ll be a second wave of of purchases.”

I don’t know what’s worse – that Moritz has a job as an “analyst”, or that his drivel gets posted up on Yahoo! Finance.