Unfortunately, you read that right. Superman used mind-control as an excuse for everything.

This particular instance of Superman taking advantage of the fact that he’s Superman occurred at some point in 1987, between the sordid pages of Action Comics #592-#593. Sleez, an unimaginatively-named toad-being from the planet Apokolips, has the Man of Steel and powerhouse superheroine Big Barda under mind control. His first thoughts? Make sex tapes. The climax of the comic involves Superman, Barda, a video camera and a sleazy motel.

For those not in the know, the gentleman calmly entering via the window is Barda’s husband, Mr Miracle, who manages to break Sleez’s hold over the pair before any nastiness can occur.

So after the day was saved and the obviously-monikered villain-of-the-week was defeated, neither Barda nor Superman can really remember anything. Convenient.

And so ends the tale of the Superman sex tape.

Comics as an art form are inherently strange, and as much as many would like to, there is no getting around it. We take for granted just how seriously these stories are taken these days, especially in a post-Dark Knight world in which words like “realism” and “gritty” and “grounded” tend to encroach upon our vocabularies much more frequently then they used to. The closest film translation of this in recent years is probably Peter Quill’s spectacular dance-off scene in Guardians of the Galaxy, but that’s nothing. Pre-Crisis, comics used to be completely and unequivocally insane, with all sorts of ridiculously powerful characters in compromising situations…

Like that time Thanos got arrested.

Or Doc Ock’s “foolproof” plan.

Or walking into your apartment to find Darkseid, the New God of Evil from Space, sitting in your armchair and sniffing your brandy (also from Action Comics #593).

There’s only one way this can go.

What about the time Silver Surfer gets tied up by three Mexicans?

Or that time Lois Lane got so fed up with Superman’s crap that she turned feral.

Or Doctor Doom being defeated by Squirrel Girl.

Or Thanos being defeated by Squirrel Girl.

Or Batgirl, champion of feminism.

I just… I… what?

Dammit, Robin…

…And finally this glorious gem, as seen on Superdickery.com

What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever found in a comic? Sound off below!