Watching this week’s episode of Catfish was an offsetting disrespectful jab at black women. The story begins with Colleen (a white woman from Washington) trying to figure out who her online lover really is. Her lover even asked to marry her in their three-month relationship, but she wanted to make sure he was real before officially marrying him.

Along the way, I noticed Max wearing a "Black Lives Matter" t-shirt without any context on why he is randomly wearing it on such a random occasion, especially when Tony (Colleen's mysterious lover) appeared to be a white man, according to his POF account.

The shocker ends up revealing that Tony is a blerd (a black nerd) and obviously not the white man on his dating profile. By his language and tone, Tony, whose real name happened to be Jeremy, lacks confidence. He worried that not being white would ruin his chances with Colleen. Luckily, Colleen didn't care that he wasn't black and loved him the same way she always had before meeting him.

Jeremy’s racial identity crisis stems from distrust with black women. He could never measure up to his blackness, and black women that he knew did not share his same interests, like reading comic books or playing golf. Being a white man, according to him, granted a carefree joy to being himself and attracting white women.

As a disclaimer, interracial dating is not bad, but black women are always to blame for not attracting black men, or not being good enough.

In Jeremy’s case, I understood and even knew about anti-black woman rhetoric in the blerd community. Most of them are acting out for the bullying and teasing black girls did towards them in grade school.

As a blerd myself, I had trouble finding black women who shared my same interests. I did not tell them that I watched anime or religiously played video games, in fear that my blackness would be revoked. Even though it was wrong, I often played as the bland guy, who had a generic personality and did not have much to say on anything out of the ordinary. Nerds are not always seen as the hot guy by default, unless he gets a makeover, so our self-esteem is often shot low because we struggle to convince our crushes that we are not asexual, but do have sexual desires.

Jeremy’s awkwardness is relatable, but I cannot be silent about his misogyny on a network that is supposed to be progressive and on a feminist platform. Every month someone black and white blasts black women for merely being visible or perfectly imperfect. No one likes their attitude, but it looks cute on another race of women. No one likes their hair, until it is appropriated. No one likes dark skin, unless it is a temporary tan.

It is frustrating to hear black men fantasizing over the stereotypical notion that white women will love anybody, and that they value blerds more than black women. Jeremy’s views are toxic as it fuels black men in men’s rights organizations such as MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way). These are the same men who spread sexist beliefs that black women only date thugs and that they hate blerds and good black men.

Black women do not hate blerds, it is just that they are not used to dating them. So, there is caution when being approached by them.

The episode fails to understand the guilt black women feel in hurting black men, but also the hurt black men throw towards black women as they lay puzzled on how another "good black man" got away.

Jeremy’s sister was uncomfortable with her brother’s rapid relationship and him being with a white woman. He is engaged to her and plans to move to Washington with her. Jeremy's sister is upset that he could be moving, but she ends up accepting that Jeremy is a lost cause, and that he has no interest in at least getting to know black women.

The episode slandered black women. MTV’s Catfish has played this stereotype before with black men being disappointed in learning that their light skinned or mixed crush was actually a dark-skinned woman, who is crying in silenced to be loved by black men.



