Imagine being Darren Rovell right now. In his own words - he’s a 41 yr old married man with 3 kids, sitting at home on a Saturday afternoon...with the Internet walls closing in on him. What a rough 36 hours it’s been for Darren. First he embarrasses himself threatening to doxx a twitter troll, then he lashes out and says Barstool Sports is responsible for the rising rates of children suicide rates in America, and today he gets outed having a burner. For a dude who makes his bones on social media, that’s about the worst day and a half you can have. A thin skinned lash out, followed by lazy, overused, hack accusations against Barstool, concluded with Twitter finding your burner. YIKES.

This morning, one of my followers tweets:

So I take a look at the twitter account in question. Not Tim 1978. And let me just say this - NotTim1978 BETTER BE Darren’s burner, otherwise that means there are just regular Rovell fans who spend their time on The Bird defending the internet’s most hated reporter. And if that’s the case, I have no choice but to promptly kill myself along with all the people I have driven to suicide over the years.

Now, when you’re doing burner investigation, sometimes it’s best to go with Occam’s Razor - the simplest solution is most often the correct one. So when you look through those tweets I see 3 possibilities:

1) that’s just a Darren Rovell Superfan. A member of Darren’s Den. Rovell’s white knight who spent the last day and a half defending his honor, laughing at his hysterical jokes, and echoing all of Rovell’s sentiments

2) that a crazy Barstool fan or twitter user set up a burner, began sending tweets that very much sound like Darren Rovell, hoping that your anonymous account get noticed, people assume that it is, in fact, Darren, and you successfully pull of a frame job to embarrass Rovell

3) Rovell, a notoriously insecure, thin skinned, and self righteous twitter nut, set up an anonymous account to pump himself up and fight the trolls

To me, if I’m thinking logically, number 3 is clearly the most likely situation. People are so quick to now conclude burner controversy now by saying it’s a person framing another person by pretending to be them. I know the world is a crazy place but that just feels so far fetched to me. So much more complicated and convoluted than a guy like Rovell just having the burner himself.

Additional information - Rovell was born in 1978, and the name “Tim” has some importance to King Squid:



tell me that’s not the most Rovell shit you’ve ever seen? A burner with some sort of secret historical meaning to him. A name that can be tracked back ten years to Rovell’s biggest L of his career. Only Rovell would get cute with the burner handle like that. I guarantee he finds this super clever. It’s almost like even when he was making his burner he was thinking about his #brand.

And of course, the smoking gun, as soon as I RT’d Kitty Hendrix, NotTim magically disappeared. Same exact situation as Manish Mehta with WyattV18. As soon as I tweet it out, the rats feel the pressure and panic. (Side note - I have more #sources that basically confirmed that Manish was behind WyattV18.) Bottom line is if you are an insecure, smug, sanctimonious asshole reporter on twitter and you set up fake accounts to boost your own ego, defend yourself against the haters, and talk shit to your enemies because you are too afraid to do it yourself on your account, I will find you....and I will kill you. I have a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you apologize now and admit you were wrong and retract your statement that Barstool Sports is responsible for bullying and children’s suicide, that'll be the end of it.

But if not...good luck * Marco from Tropoja voice *