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En español | Critics sliced Fifty Shades of Grey to ribbons. So why did the movie enjoy one of history's highest-grossing openings — $94 million in its first four days?

The reason, I propose, is simple: Women are interested in submissive sexual play; aroused by the books, they went to see the movie hoping for a second shot at sexual — and romantic — excitement.

Sadly, even admirers of the movie were somewhat to very disappointed: Fifty Shades of Grey is nowhere near as erotic as the book.

If only that were the least of the film's problems.

First of all, Jamie Dornan is miscast as Christian Grey; we needed someone colder and a bit more dangerous — Ryan Gosling, perhaps, or a younger Daniel Craig.

Second, for all the skin on display, the movie is sexually modest. Expedience played a role here, I acknowledge; the film couldn't be as graphic as the book lest it be slapped with a revenue-killing X rating.

Third, Fifty Shades reaches a dismally unsatisfying climax — one that screams "to be continued in the inevitable sequel!"