THE overall cost of raising children means that the fun bits of parenthood cost over £1,200 per hour, it has emerged.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies compared the overall child-rearing costs of £230,000 per kid to the few afternoons when they are being cute and not a pain in the arse.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Because of weather and your work, parents get only 12-16 carefree timeless afternoons of play a year for no more than 90 minutes.

“Breaking that down, each frisbee throw was around £60, each push on the swings was £2.80 a time, and when you chased them, tickled them, and held them up in the air while they giggled, that was about £450.”

Parent Wayne Hayes said: “That’s a lot of money, but of course it’s worth it. Isn’t it?

“Just say yes. That’s all I need to hear.”