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The duality of man, a news babe, a listener fist fight, Halloween scams, scary erotic stories, Reddit backlash, adventures in misspelling in advertising, MadCucks’ new book, viral video school, Astorios Kokkitales from Asterios Kokkinos, and who is a Stalin? All this and more this week on The Dick Show!

Smoking like a burning chimney, swilling booze like a sailor, philandering with strippers and queens alike and hot off his appearance on The Dick Show: Bonus Episode 4, Asterios Kokkinos storms in like a degenerate tornado, breaking bad and midway through a debauch as he brings his whirlwind tour of the Los Angeles podcast scene to a close. He brings us a new comedy book, a news babe, and some smokin’ hot goss. But first…

The duality of man is a complicated one. The single man will journey to a Halloween party in the tenth level of hell that’s 99% dudes for the chance to think about touching a boob. The cucked man? Quite the opposite. Halloween is a season of festive cocksmanship for the single guy; drunkenly pawing at safety pins and cheap polyester. But for the not-single man, Halloween is an epic battle and a test of their mettle to get out of doing absolutely everything. Good luck out there, fellas. Your dream of spending Saturday night playing the new Gears of War is a difficult one, but not impossible. Godspeed.

I get duped into a Halloween scam called the Rise of the Jack-o-laterns. If you think walking around a parking garage for 20 minutes looking for your car is a nightmare, they found a way to make it worse by charging you $50 for the privilege and filling it with rotting pumpkins that have advertisements scratched into them.

If you’re going to butt-fuck me on Halloween, at least put a bar in your lobby so I can get sauced up first. This rant brought to you by Dr. Strange, in theaters Novemer 4th.

Maybe they figured out the scariest haunted house of all: a world where men will pay money to see ads telling them about being superheroes.

Speaking of heroes, did you know one third of millennials think George W. Bush killed more people than Stalin? It’s the generation everyone loves to shit on, but according to this week’s news babe, that’s absolutely true and who am I to question her. You have to admit, according to those numbers, maybe Stalin was onto something–or maybe George W Bush was onto something, depending on who you ask.

Asterios Boisters up his Coconuts and regales us with an Astorios Kokkitale about being doxxed by Maddox. If you’re sick of the Hot Goss, you’re really going to hate listening to these juicy and sinful anecdotes, scandalous tales of betrayal and friendship and frenemy-ship and obsession that are truly beneath everyone involved. And yet here we are. If you have an opinion on the Hot Goss, you might like Asterios’ new book Toys “4” Cheap.

MadCucks calls in to berate Asterios and announce the first chapter of his new book, The Alphabet of Socially Conscious Like-Minded, Gender Neutral, Forward Thinking, Optimists and present his first chapter, A is for Apologies. It truly is a masterpiece. Here is a snippet. If you can make it through the whole thing without switching to MadCucks’ voice in your brain, I will give you a Daniel Webster cigar.

As a highly civilized moral crusader like myself you probably know some people that give away apologies like a Sexually Transmitted Disease at Burning Man. These are the non-apologist, they will say sorry immediately no matter what the context, and they have not humbled themselves. A non-apology is like a squirting dildo, sure it will give you an orgasm and make you need to take a shower, but it not going to get you pregnant, because it is a façade. Similarly, non-apologies are a tool, they pacify but they do not quell the issue that caused the need for an apology. What sorts of might things require a true apology, not just a hit it and quit it sorry, but a true meaningful one.

Fans sent in their best and ugliest of Spooky Erotic Stories from Real Men. Sadly, I didn’t get to all of them, so it looks like November will be a month charged with eroticism. I present two in this jam packed episode.

Asterios also brings with him an author, stripper, and friend of the legendary Hot Wheels by the name of Kasey Koop–or Dakota if you’re nasty. Kasey brings in the most important news stories of our day while I try to get her to quote the going rate of a strip club hand job. She also tells us what makes her a rage.

Dustin calls in to fill us in on the fight of the century! The Battle in Seattle between one listener and super fan of the show David Clegg. He also has some questions from DickHeads on Facebook and presents DickHeads Rally up, his man-the-the-street investigative report where voters on both sides of the toilet are asked the most important question of the season, like “Did you know Donald Trump took nude photos of his daughter for a European art gallery? How do you feel about that?” and “Hillary Clinton said she plans to enact a nationwide curfew for men. Do you think that will make America safer?” Watch below.

And here is some sick ass fan art!

Thumbnail by Brandon of Maximum! Panic. Tune in to his livestream to watch the magic happen.



Stalin vs George W Bush

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