From the May 2015 issue

The most amusing thing you may read all day is this: You can now spend $40,000 on a Volkswagen Golf—a Golf! That which was once known as the Rabbit, which has a flat roof, five portals, and is the closest thing to a perfectly cubic car, seemingly engineered by those perfectionist Germans to conjoin with other cubes into an exact grid of dense traffic for the purpose of maximum utilization of the urban road space, now costs 40 Gs. It also has nearly 300 horsepower and hits 60 mph in 4.5 seconds. Well, if you live long enough, you’ll see everything.

Histrionics aside, nobody who has been paying attention will be at all surprised by our $39,910 Golf R. Volkswagen has been working up to this, er, achievement for some time, first with the Golf VR6, then the V6 4MOTION, then the R32. Way back in the late ’80s, there were also two heavy-breathing homologation specials, the Rallye Golf and Golf G60, that never came to the States because America wasn’t yet ready for a car shaped like a cake box and priced like a Porsche. Most of us still aren’t ready, even for one priced like a BMW, though 5500 Yanks snapped up the 2012 and 2013 Golf Rs (base price: $34,760). That was 500 more than expected, Volkswagen tells us, so Germany has sent us a new model.

View Photos PAUL BARSHON

This Golf R is different from the last one, a two-year limited edition of the two-door hatch intended to get people doing cartwheels over the old, outgoing Golf VI platform. This time, the R arrives earlier in the platform cycle and, we’re told, for a longer stay and in more flavors. Two trim levels, a base and a “w/DCC/nav” (explained forthwith), are complemented by the choice of two transmissions—a six-speed DSG dual-clutch automatic or a six-speed stick, the latter cutting $1100 off the price.

So why is our test car infected with a DSG? Because the stick comes later this year, sometime in the summer, we’re told. We have driven the stick, and it’s nice. About 40 percent of R buyers are expected to take the stick. They will be happy.

View Photos PAUL BARSHON

The Golf R exists because of MQB, one big platform family that lets VW spread components far and wide over its various brands. Effectively, you’re looking at an Audi S3 in hatchback form, down to the identical output ratings of the EA888 2.0-liter turbo four at 292 horsepower and 280 pound-feet of torque. Ditto for the Haldex four-wheel-drive system, which uses an electronically controlled coupler to distribute torque to the rear wheels, and brake-based traction control to handle side-to-side torque distribution.

This super Golf, this Audi TT shooting brake, is a decidedly unflashy car for the price. The 19-inch wheels on the upper trim level and the four pipes in back are prime giveaways, as are the small R badges and the extra chin and side plastic on the exteri­or. Inside, where white stitching contrasts nicely with black leather and dashes of both glossy-black and carbon trim adorn the surfaces, there are a few subtle R logos here and there. Spears of blue accent lighting course around the doors, blue being the official color of R while red remains the color of GTI. To untrained eyes, this is just a very nicely trimmed Golf, and that is the way Volkswagen rolls—no wings, no dive planes, minimal kitsch. If you’re contemplating a Benz GLA45 AMG for its mashup of performance and two-box practicality but are turned off by its ridiculous clown costume (or its price), then the R is your car.

View Photos When we think of the ultimate Volkswagen, the Golf R is much more likely to come to mind than, say, the big Phaeton or Touareg. PAUL BARSHON

It’s also unflashy in the way it operates, the engine muffled to a mechanized thrum that is augmented by an electronic underhood buzzer. VW calls it the Soundaktor. In normal driving, you barely notice the car’s voice at all, just background murmurs punctuated by the occasional (and today, fairly pro forma in German performance cars) buzz-blap from the exhaust during a hard upshift. But the Soundaktor goes a ­little berserk at high revs, and the result is a coarse, artificial bombination strong enough to vibrate the steering wheel. There are online videos aplenty detailing how to disconnect this device.

The R claims big horsepower from small displacement, but the punch can either be devastating or an interminable wait de­pending on how you’re operating it. Light the fuse early by downshifting manually before nailing it, and the R leaps forward on a rocket plume. That makes fast road driving a therapeutic thrill as you rally-blast from one corner to the next.

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