Thought leading is a complicated profession. Thanks to the emergence of cryptocurrency, it has also been one of the fastest growing fields of the past decade. This article outlines simple rules to get you started on this rewarding career path. It doesn’t reflect the opinion of my employer.

Thought leaders exhibit extraordinary abilities, such as levitating objects, tricking minds, and seeing things before they happen.

The most beautiful thing about the Internet is that it gives equal opportunity to all: Even a stable boy from a remote planet can wield the power of thought leading as long as there’s WiFi. On the other hand, shaping cryptocurrency narratives in the minds of millions of people is not something one achieves without proper training. It’s an exasperating journey. You’ll find yourself fighting many a battle along the way — both against enemy thought leaders and your own internal demons. Here are some basic pointers to get you started.

Trust in yourself

Know that you are always right, especially if your opinion is the opposite of what the so-called “experts” say. Think about it: Nowadays you don’t need a PhD to master a field. Today’s top surgeons, bio-engineers and stock market analysts are made on Reddit and Wikipedia. Unhampered by mainstream textbooks, they create fresh, original takes that rattle the establishment.

Leverage your personal blend of expertise. You excel as a Monopoly player? Then you are qualified to speak on the complex, dynamic global interplay of monetary economics, world politics and financial markets. Think out of the box and don’t be afraid to explore new territories.

Twitter thought leaders have a knack for exploring new territories. Mainstream “experts” can go f*** themselves.

Less is more

Nobody got to 100,000+ followers by posting sophisticated technical content. Be straight-to-the-point and add that little, magical sprinkle of out-of-the-box-thinking to give your tweets a special edge. What matters most is total, uncompromising positivity.

Exploit the inverse relationship between number of likes and complexity of the information conveyed.

The “keep-it-simple” rule also applies to humorous tweets. Avoid multi-layered approaches which will only confuse 99% of your audience. For instance, people sometimes say things in an overtly exaggerated ways but don’t actually mean it — this is called sarcasm. This doesn’t work in an environment where absurd claims are the norm. Avoid sarcasm on Crypto Twitter because there’s absolutely no way to tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.

It’s impossible to tell if you’re being serious on Crypto Twitter.

To reach the epitome of thought leadership consider crafting a tweetstorm and pinning it to your profile. A tweetstrom consists of you responding to yourself over and over again with cherrypicked numbers, charts, statistics, quotes and references that support your prefabricated opinion. Expect some trolling in the responses. Remember that only a select few possess the exceptional IQ and relentless objectivity you were gifted with at birth.

Nugget of wisdom 27d/66

Be an analyst

Most crypto thought leaders also have a talent for predicting price movements. A variety of techniques is available but I’ll provide a basic tutorial right here. The price of a crypto asset depends mainly on three factors:

Chart patterns. For example, when the price successfully tests the Fibonacci support line, the 5-day EMA breaks through the 90-day EMA and the RSI screams “oversold” then there’s a 50% probability that it will go even higher in some arbitrary timeframe. Besides the hard science there is also a psychological aspect: If enough traders expect a dinosaur to form on the candlestick chart it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

By using patterns such as head-an-shoulders, Bart Simpson and a dinosaur you’ll be able to predict price movements with up to 50% accuracy.

External events. Take Chinese New Year for example: Literally billions of Chinese suddenly need cash for presents and booze. Where does all cash come from? That’s right, selling crypto. Conversely, when Wall Street bonuses are paid out, what will the bankers do? Buy tons of cocaine. And how does one pay for cocaine anonymously? That’s right, Monero.

Take Chinese New Year for example: Literally billions of Chinese suddenly need cash for presents and booze. Where does all cash come from? That’s right, selling crypto. Conversely, when Wall Street bonuses are paid out, what will the bankers do? Buy tons of cocaine. And how does one pay for cocaine anonymously? That’s right, Monero. Whether you like or dislike the coin. Price increases in coins you dislike are the result of manipulation by whales and stupidity of market participants and will only be sustained in the short term. Eventually the markets will realize their mistake and price in actual fundamentals. At that point, a special moon citadel for the super-rich will be built and guess who’ll be on the first space rocket.

Advise people to invest in your coin of choice but also mention that it’s not investment advice.

Not investment advice

Master the art of trolling

Know that little sting when you proudly tweet about the project you invested years of hard work in and, in response, someone calls you subhuman scammer who should be put to death? Chances are you are the victim of trolling.

Basic trolling is easy: Become a cryprocurrency maximalist of coin A, then do the exact opposite with respect to coin B (cryptocurrency negativist). The premise is as follows:

In comparison to A, which is a revolutionary gift to mankind, B is utterly irrelevant — a sad little flame, barely kept glimmering by paid shills and unsuspecting simpletons. Even though it’s hardly worth your time, you have taken up the arduous task of constantly tweeting about B. Your mission is to inform the unsuspecting public and perhaps save a misguided soul or two (those who don’t believe you will learn their lesson soon enough).

Adversarial thinking

In latter years, trolling has evolved beyond crude insults into a subtle art. Some trolls (a.k.a. adversarial thinkers) have elevated this art to such heights that they have become admired by the community being trolled. Taken to extreme mastership, such trolling can become the basis of a successful thought leading career, replete with invitations to conference gigs and podcasts.

It is difficult to point to concrete factors that separate the universally beloved adversarial thinker from an unpleasant jerk. Adding a sprinkle of irony and self-deprecation and dropping subtle hints at a good heart behind the scary surface will increase your chances of becoming a well-renowned adversarial thinker.

Trolling is a subtle art: The specimen shown on the left is universally beloved while the specimen on the right is universally disliked.

Get jacked

Nothing screams “thought leader” louder than a 30 inch biceps. If for some reason your thought leading career fails to lift off, inject a healthy dose of testosterone enanthate and start lifting. Do heavy compound movements like the squad, deadlift and bench press at least 4 times a week and eat a caloric surplus of about 500 kcal per day. You should start seeing results after a couple of months. Once you have developed sufficient core strength, focus on shoulders, traps and biceps increase the appearance of size.

Bro, do you even lead thought? (credit: Haon)

TL;DR

As a thought leader you create fresh, original takes that shake the foundations of mainstream science. Don’t be afraid to think outside-the-box and apply adversarial thinking and bodybuilding to get an edge over enemy thought leaders.

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