Dear Customers,

For nearly sixty-five years, Catspiration, Inc., has been America’s leading provider of inspirational cat posters for your home and office. Wow! (Or should we say, “Meow!”?) Due to recent shifts in corporate culture, however, we’ve made some slight adjustments to our best-selling line of cat-tastic posters, to better reflect our times and meet our customers’ needs.

KEEP CALM AND LOVE CATS YOUR PANTS ON

This poster has always been a great way to show your office mates that you’re one cool cat! But now you can also show Jim in accounting that he’s just one zip away from you calling the police. This is the purrrfect poster for reminding your co-workers what sexual harassment is!

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BELIEVE IN YOURSELF WOMEN

This poster features the same classic kitten, but with a modern message. You’re probably asking, “But will it make a good gift for Shaun in sales who won’t stop talking about how some women just want attention and #MeToo is a witch hunt for men?” Uh, yes—we’re paws-itive it will!

DON’T FORGET TO BE AWESOME A DECENT, RESPECTFUL MALE CO-WORKER

We never thought we’d have to pair this caption with one of our best-selling feline designs—but, boy, were we wrong! Thankfully not as wrong as the “locker-room talk” your V.P., Ted, enjoys engaging in about the physical appearance of the interns. Hang this one in your office, kitchen, gym, boat, bar, bathroom, basement, break room—anywhere you imagine men like Ted might hang out with their gross, grabby hands. Apparently, a large portion of the population missed this lesson in basic decency, but, fear not, we’re here to cat-ch them up!

REACH FOR THE STARS _______

Sorry, this one is actually unfinished. Gary from creative got caught reaching for something no one should ever reach for on a co-worker, so we’ve paused production on it. In the meantime, we encourage everyone to keep their paws to themselves and refrain from all “pussy-grabbing” references in the break room.

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE . . . AND A CAT CONSENT

Love, consent, and this poster for your wall! We’re so excited about this new messaging; we don’t even care if you buy the poster. Just go ahead and take a Sharpie to the original. For real. You have our explicit permission to do so. Isn’t consent the cat’s pajamas?!

HANG IN THERE, BABY! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR PENIS

Buy one, get one free.