I’m just gonna jump right in and tell you this: the sexual education in the United States is a joke. Only 24 states and Washington, D.C. mandate sexual education at all. Only 13 of these require that the curriculum be medically accurate! And that doesn’t even take into account that many educators (and the states they work in) will teach abstinence-only curriculums. It should also be mentioned that almost all sexual education programs are heteronormative, with only 9 states demanding a discussion of sexual orientation. You can read the statistics here.

This is ridiculous. How can people grow up to have healthy attitudes about their own bodies and other people’s, when they can’t find accurate information? I heard a statistic that up to 60% of millennials learn about sex from pornography. Hopefully I don’t have to explain how horrifying that is. It creates unrealistic expectations, teaches people unhealthy behaviors, and fails to educate about the importance of communication and respect between sexual partners. I certainly don’t think there is anything wrong with porn itself, but it cannot be used as a resource for education.

Another huge part of this problem is how our culture treats sex. The average American sees or hears references to sex probably dozens of times a day. Whether it’s music, movies, radio shows, posts on social media, commercials and other advertisements, or anything else, we are constantly exposed to sex. We are taught that sex should be the motivator for what we wear, what we eat, where we go, who we talk to, what we buy, etc. Somehow, we are simultaneously taught that sex is shameful and that we should not talk about it (especially women). There are so many misconceptions about anatomy, consent, respect, communication, gender, and sex itself that are pervasive throughout our culture. I could probably write 20 pages about misconceptions I encounter daily. If we can’t talk about sex and metaphorically compare notes with our peers, how are we supposed to learn accurate information? Because schools are falling short in this realm, it becomes even more important that we can have open discussion.

I’m sure you were waiting for me to tie this back to Trump and Betsy DeVos. Of course I will. Betsy doesn’t know a darn thing about being an educator, and she definitely is not going to prioritize what is best for each student. I won’t make a comment about a grizzly bear here, but know that I wanted to. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please look it up.) As for Donny T, you know my feelings about his views on sex. He would never prioritize reform in sexual education, because he doesn’t care about consent. He thinks deserves sex because he’s rich and powerful. If those are the attitudes we are going to teach the young people of America, we’re screwed.

We need to change our cultural perceptions of sex. We need to make it a priority to educate young people about healthy behaviors and attitudes. It is so much easier to teach young people right from wrong than it is to teach an old dog new tricks. Confront misconceptions you see and hear on a daily basis. Fight against rape culture and victim-blaming. Get in arguments and speak your mind.

Here’s a shameless plug since it fits with my topic. I am a campus representative for a company called Tabú, which focuses on sexual education, by and for millennials. I lead workshops for my peers, write articles for their website, and speak out about the misconceptions/outdated ideas about sex in our culture. If you have any questions about sex, want more resources for educating other people about sex, or want free stuff, let me know. I am always happy to chat about sex and destroy the patriarchy!

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