Communing with Your Inner Child

One of the most powerful tools you can use to find peace and happiness, and to realize your goals and dreams, is to develop a strong relationship with your inner child. Here I have detailed a quick and effective way to achieve just that. I highly recommend that everyone include this practice as part of your morning meditation program or daily regimen. You will be amazed at how immediate and transformative are the results of incorporating this simple yet sacred practice into your life.

It is best to have paper and pen handy before you begin. Start by asking your inner child, "How are you feeling?" Then switch the hand with which you normally write. If you are right-handed, put the pen in your left hand. If you are left-handed, put it in your right hand. This automatically gives voice to the inner child—it is that simple. Then, just let the writing flow, with no editing or censoring. That begins your communion. After the pen has finished writing, you might offer your inner child some words of comfort, compassion, and understanding (no explaining, theorizing, or intellectualizing). The inner child needs to be heard and understood. The next question you ask aloud is: "What do you need?" Again, simply allow the pen (in the opposing hand) to respond. You will be able to recognize your inner child's writing because the sentences will be very short and direct, containing simple words and short, succinct phrases. Small children live "in the moment." They are tactile and direct, never indulging in intellectual reasoning or philosophizing. They will always, like all little children, tell you exactly how they are feeling and exactly what they want, in every moment.

The next step is the negotiation. Some people prefer to speak aloud to the inner child; others prefer to write their dialogue by switching the writing utensil back to the hand normally used to write... either way works. At first, your inner child—finally having been given a voice after so many years of neglect—may be extremely unreasonable, wanting to make up for a whole lifetime of feeling abused, ignored, chided, suppressed, or otherwise unloved. He or she may be telling you to stay home from your job, to go out and play all day (every day!), etc. Thus, in the beginning of this new relationship, you may have to plea bargain and compromise what you know needs to get accomplished a lot more than later on, while you are restoring lines of communication and regaining this one's trust. This is normal and necessary. It is also to be expected that much of what you will be doing for and with your inner child will be the activities that you most loved as a child, and either wanted more of or were not allowed to engage in to your heart's content when you were young. That part may never change, though your inner child will, in time, learn to like and enjoy more of your "adult" activities, too.

This is your opportunity to re-parent your inner child, to forge a new relationship with him/her, and to provide this one with an unprecedented level of unconditional love—the life-essential, unconditional love that few people were ever given when they were children, in the way they needed. Be tolerant, patient, and compassionate, and enjoy exploring your relationship with one another. Above all else, make sure to always keep your word (as it is wise to do with all people!).

It is vitally important to remember that your wounded inner child is the saboteur who impedes your progress, dashes all your plans, and prevents you from pretty much getting anything done. Your healed and happy inner child is the access to your Christ child, who is the access to your divinity and to your full mastery over all earthly dominion... in short, your happiness.

- Louix Dor Dempriey