But while these are supposed to be lighthearted reinterpretations of stories we all know and love, sometimes the theory makes it impossible to ever go back and look at the original the same way -- the fact that they're so logical just makes it worse. As a result, we're now mostly convinced that

Fan theories are like hot dogs: We know they lack any real substance, but we can't stop consuming them because they're fun to eat. Luckily for us, the Internet is a perpetual motion machine that endlessly churns out insane reinterpretations of our favorite movies and TV shows, some of which are way more convincing than they have any right to be.

5 Jurassic Park Was A Sham That Never Had Any Real Dinosaurs

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With the exception of Jeff Goldblum's bare, oiled-up chaos chest, the big stars of Jurassic Park are obviously the dinosaurs. However, according to one oddly convincing fan theory, there has never been a single actual dinosaur in any Jurassic Park movie. The "dinosaurs" John Hammond, Samuel L. Jackson, and the bad guy from The Substitute 2 created weren't resurrected from ancient dino DNA -- they were actually brand new creatures cobbled together using DNA from non-extinct contemporary animals.

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Basically this.

The whole "dinosaurs back from extinction!" thing was just a P.T. Barnum-esque stunt to fool gullible tourists.

Why It's Not That Crazy:

The originator of this theory appears to be Redditor Brownra04, as far as we can track it down, and it goes like this: The entire premise of Jurassic Park centers around the idea that geneticists were able to extract dinosaur DNA from prehistoric mosquitoes trapped in fossilized chunks of tree sap, which is impossible, because DNA has a half-life and would have decayed beyond any possible use after 65 million years. Plus, there's no way you would find a mosquito who limited its blood intake to one particular species of dinosaur. There would be hundreds, if not thousands, of different DNA strands in each mosquito. Every DNA extraction would be like taking a cotton swab of a college freshman's bedsheets.