The entire notion of astrology is frustrating. My ability to communicate is somehow determined by the placement of Mercury during my birth. My sense of love and beauty is at the influence of Venus. My emotions are hinged on the orbit of the Moon. Each planet, nay, even each significantly sized asteroid is said to have some effect on our personalities and relationships. It leaves one wondering, do we have any free-will at all if our very personalities are determined by heavenly bodies whose movements through the solar system are entirely predictable and calculable? It is an absurd proposition that these planets, moons, and asteroids have any effect on our lives, and yet, after three decades of study, it is hard for me to deny. Overall, this has made me a bit salty toward astrology, or maybe somewhere in my birth chart, it is indicated that I was always going to feel this way eventually.

To be clear, I am not suggesting we disregard this sublime system we call astrology. Though I will suggest we all take it with some salt. There are just too many factors to consider. One could spend their entire lifetime doing nothing but calculating every last factor that goes into their birth chart and I have no doubt that if they did, their chart would indicate that they are prone to delve into data and esoterics at the cost of life’s other needs.

I have given up on reading my horoscope. I used to read them weekly, but having an Ascendant at the twenty-second degree of Scorpio and a rather extreme ellipses it seemed I had to read both Scorpio and Sagittarius and take bits and pieces from each. Eventually, enabled by my Virgo Moon, I came to read transitions and apply them to my own chart. I had to give up on that practice though because I would much rather live in the present. I’d like to think this change was a choice I made, but I suspect that my chart would already indicate that I would feel this way as I got older in life, my Saturn is in the Ninth House, after all, maturing my philosophy as I go.

I like to say that you can tell more about someone’s chart from observing them as a person than you can tell about them as a person from reading their chart. Anything I say as I read someone’s chart is mostly guessing. It can be frustrating how often these guesses are correct. When the guesses are a little off it can be helpful if someone describes their experiences to me in relation to their own chart. I can learn more about what it is like to have those aspects and amend my perspective on them. Frankly, I am astounded by the similarity of “daddy issues” shared by everyone with Saturn in some kind of opposition in their Seventh House. My heart goes out to all them and yet I am only left in shock and dismay every time I meet another person with these aspects. It just seems to be my own particular luck how many times I have found them. Probably a result of my Pluto being opposite to my Venus. Damn you, Pluto.

It is not all in vain and it is not all oppositions. And even when there are so many oppositions there is much one can learn from them. My daughter, with her Sun in the Tenth House, is fulfilled by meeting and surpassing the standards set for her in society. Her Moon, being opposite to her Sun is in the Fourth House, so she gets her emotional replenishment from nurturing, home-based activities. This comes into conflict for her when she has big deadlines but knows that what she really needs is a hot bath and a good night’s sleep. I, having a Sun in Aries opposite her Sun and conjunct with her Moon, would take sides with her Moon’s instinct, encouraging her to take care of herself. This could lead into long arguments, having our Suns, AKA egos in opposition it is no surprise that we argue. After I finally took the time to compare our charts and consider this aspect to be at the crux of the conflict I now am careful not to involve myself in her process by adding more conflict. We argue a lot less as a result, though I must admit we did find ourselves back at it during that last Aries New Moon square to both Pluto and Saturn. Damn Pluto again, just when I thought I was making educated choices based on astrology.

Even if I really don’t have any actual free-will and my choices are all somehow predetermined by too many gravitational forces to fully calculate, I have found that if nothing else, astrology has helped me learn to forgive people for the way they are. I have a friend that I have known for years and at one time we worked together and had great comical banter in and out of the workplace, though no matter how close we seemed I never really felt like I could bring up the matters that were most delicate to me. During some hard emotional transitions, I didn’t really call them much. My sister noticed and asked me why she hadn’t heard anything about them for a while. I told her about this feeling I had toward my friend and how I felt that somehow my friend seemed emotionally unavailable to me on those matters and that it was weird because we had common friends that often went to them for emotional support. Right then I spontaneously did a comparative chart reading of my friend and I and immediately noticed that their Saturn was opposite my Venus. Upon looking this aspect up I found that it is common for the Saturn member of the opposition to see the Venus member, myself, to be immature, while the Venus member sees the Saturn member as cold and distant. At that moment I not only forgave my friend for how they are with me, but I began to forgive everyone else for everything else. Surely there is someone in my life who has their Venus opposite to my Saturn and to them I am the one that is emotionally cold and distant, all the while thinking they are immature. I wish it were so simple as that we could all learn this lesson from astrology to forgive each other, but I fear that those who cannot bring themselves to forgive someone have aspects in their chart that keep them from doing so. Or at least I have to forgive them because perhaps it is some aspect I share with them that prevents me from seeing them as forgiving.

No matter how many idealistic visions of humanity my Third House in Aquarius may inspire in me, I have to except that people will always be born at different times of day, on different days, and at different places on the Earth and for the darnedest reason the placement of these gravitational forces in accordance with the horizon itself have some bearing on the glands in all of our bodies or some other explanation that confirms that yes, I have a Sun in the Fifth House and am ever fulfilled by the expression of art, theater, and play and yes I have a Tenth House Moon in the Midheaven and am emotionally invested in how “Society” is doing and yes, my Pluto is opposite to my Sun and Venus and I have a really hard time with unbalanced power dynamics in relationships, but I have the power to just choose to be single for years just to prove to Pluto that I don’t need to be trapped in a power struggle.

Damned you, I cry out, shaking my fist to the stars. I do what I want.