I am about to be a grandmother for the second time but wanted some help in dealing with my daughter-in-law. She does not let me have any say in the raising of my grandson. He is the first and I was so excited to pass down all the family heirlooms that I saved from when my children were young. I have everything- highchair, bassinet, toys, etc- in the attic but she wanted none of it except some clothes. I've tried to explain to my son that these items are very important to me and that it would mean the world if they used it but they wanted all new things.

I don't know what to . Everything I did with my kids she tells me is wrong. She doesn't want any advice from me regarding breastfeeding, sleeping, etc. even though I have 5 children and would consider myself a pretty great mom.

She doesn't put a jacket on him in the car, she refused to feed him baby food out of a jar when he was younger, she has put him in daycare instead of staying home to raise him - I just see her making so many choices that I don't agree with but I have no say. She will not listen to me at all. I can't even give me grandson candy without her getting upset. And it is almost like my whole family agrees with her and gets on my case as well.

We weren't allowed in the room for the birth of our grandson, although her sister was, we weren't allowed to stay for longer than an hour at a time and not while other visitors were there, and my son wasn't allowed to leave to come out to dinner with us to celebrate the night that our grandson was born. Now with the birth of our second grandson looming, I am fearful that I am going to be upset about these things all over again. My son has already told us that grandson will be visiting the baby first and on his own and I would really like to be there to celebrate as well and see my grandson meet his baby brother as well.

How can I make her see that her choices and my lack of involvement in my grandson's life are hurting me? Right now my grandson doesn't even want to be around me because of the things that she is doing and it hurts my heart. My family is so close and I rarely get to see my son and grandson now because of her and none of the things that I saved to passed down are being put to use like I imagined. I just don't know what to do.