The repressive regime governing North Korea released a “white paper” on human rights in the United States this week accusing President Donald Trump of turning the country into a “human rights tundra.”

Among the various human rights crimes America allegedly commits against its people are widespread rape and sexual abuses, the promotion of “racism as a national policy,” and general “misanthropy.”

The government of dictator Kim Jong-un published the paper on January 30, the same day as President Trump’s State of the Union address. In that speech, Trump highlighted the widespread torture and abuse of citizens in North Korea. “No regime has oppressed its own citizens more totally or brutally than the cruel dictatorship in North Korea,” Trump told the audience, highlighting the story of one refugee, Ji Seong-ho, who risked his life to escape the country and succeeded despite missing two limbs.

Perhaps in anticipation of the attention Trump would draw to the horrors of life in North Korea, the state published a study titled “White Paper on Human Rights Violations in U.S. in 2017.”

Unnamed North Korean “researchers” at the nation’s Institute of International Studies claim that “killing between husbands and wives and between parents and their children is commonplace in the U.S.” and that the country is “an empire of crime and a living hell where one can never lead a carefree life.”

The paper is divided into various categories: the presence of individuals with personal wealth in American government, alleged repression of journalists, alleged violent racism, high real estate prices, alleged gender violence, and general violence, which includes a detailed list of seemingly unrelated violent crimes that occurred in the United States in 2017.

The first chapter condemns individuals like Rex Tillerson, former head of Exxon Mobil, for his presence in the government. “Soon after being inaugurated as president, Trump filled the important posts of his administration with billionaires,” the article claims, without explaining how this is a human rights violation.

It then goes on to claim that “genuine freedom of the press and expression does not exist” in America because President Trump once tweeted a GIF of a WWE match in which the head of the losing wrestler was replaced with the CNN logo, “making even the gangsters blush shame.”

“There is a saying that the water poured on the back of the head flows down to the heel,” the white paper ominously warns.

In the next segment of this exploration of American life, North Korean academics note that some cities in America have expensive real estate, a gross human rights violation. “In particular, the prices shot up by 11.1% in Las Vegas,” the piece claims, “the city ranked as the most expensive city to afford a house.” Las Vegas is far from the top of the list where homes are more expensive. San Jose, San Francisco, and Anaheim—all in California—top the list, while Honolulu, Hawaii rounds out to the top four.

Other “human rights” issues mentioned include:

“Large quantities of rotten meat products from a foodstuff company based in Pennsylvania were sold in May last year.”

“The soaring school expenses are plunging the students into the hell of loans.”

A list of unrelated homicides across the country

“According to data, the number of marijuana users in the U.S. was more than 20 million, a 3% increase as compared with that a decade ago”

“Even in his dotage, Trump, the lustful old man, is still lusting for one woman after another.”

“America is nothing but the world’s worst barren land of human rights and also tundra of human rights,” the report concludes.

North Korea often accuses the United States of alleged abuses, but not in an academic format. The white paper released this week appears more akin to publications coming out of North Korea’s closest ally and patron, China, which regularly publishes reports on the oppression of Americans by their government. Among the atrocities perpetrated on the American people, according to Chinese researchers, are “worsening racial discrimination,” the incarceration of individuals found guilty of crimes, and the television program Jimmy Kimmel Live!

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