1) Don’t say: "It’s the happiest day of my life"

Those little words are all it takes to ensure that something absolutely dreadful happens and it actually being one of the worst days of your existence. And someone will probably die. Also goes for: "Everything's going to be ok", "I'll never leave you" and: "I've never been happier."

Like in Hollyoaks when Max Cunningham promised bride Stephanie Dean: "It's all going to be ok." It obviously wasn't. The ink had barely dried on the wedding certificate when Max was mowed down by a car as he tried to protect his brother from being hit. Weep.