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People who ignore “The Zipper”, the mystery of my broken toilet, Smiley my broken handyman, “My House” TV has turned me into a dog, Nick Rekieta calls in with some Hot Goss about Maddox’s maybe two or three time DUI lawyer “Dog Bite” Kevin Landau, Asterios’ Cernovich sex tape, an erotic story for Valentine’s Day, Sean learns to ride a bicycle, The Skate Mate, being on The Milo Yiannopoulos show, the feminist caliphate, drunk dogs, and the nature of getting caught; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Nick Rekieta of Rekieta Law calls in this week with some Hot Goss on “Dog Bite” Kevin Landau, Maddox’s apostrophile attorney. According to Nick, Landau is such a dumb fuck lawyer, one of his former clients was massively sanctioned for lying in court, and Landau’s “pursuit of this lawsuit in the face of mounting evidence indicating his client was lying is certainly questionable and borders on unreasonable.” Also Landau might have “two or three DUIs” and a breathalyzer in his car. Nick Rekieta explains what all of it means how it happened in this episode. Here is the full article. If Maddox’s lolsuit plays out in a similar fashion and with the same degree of bald misrepresentations and lies recognized by the court–of which there are many, our old pal King Cuck might be similarly bent over by NYC, and then we’ve got a Maddox vs. Landau lolsuit in play. So sayeth the Great Magnet. But first…

“Thou shalt not kill”

It’s a recognizable branded slogan, and I can see its value in a harsh world of zero-summary and starvation, where murder and deception means the difference between life and death, but we’ve got bigger problems than murder now, and I think the ten commandments can use a reboot. We know not to murder, but we don’t know how to behave.

“Thou shalt not skip the zip. Cars shall pass one at a time from each lane.”

“Thou shall have no other thoughts above getting a job. And thou shallst get a job, Stove.”

“Thou shalt not continue making jokes if no one is laughing at thou’s jokes or if people are just smiling and nodding uncomfortably.”

“Thou shalt not ask for help if moving or going to the airport. Only shallst thou mention that one is moving or going to the airport and wait for offers. Pizza is not payment, nor is In’n Out.”

“Thou shalt tell only one story about work each day, and it shall last no longer than three minutes. And there is no need to mention everyone’s name. Your job isn’t the Usual Suspects.”

“Thou shalt not salt the pussy Earth, for then it will cease to be.”

“Thou shalt not make graven utterances of danger to frighten and deceive the man. Bitch, we have heart problems.”

“Thou shalt not commit the acts of a cuck or praise cuckery for it is inherently fucked.”

“Thou shalt not honor thy children in public too much and either shut them up or leave the restaurant. You brag about them like they’re you, that’s also you screaming while I’m trying to eat then, dude.”

“Thou shalt not lie and imply for it’s worse than lying and also it’s a cuck move. That’s a double. You’re doing both.”

Anyway, here is my appearance on the “The Milo Yiannopoulos Show” recorded directly before this podcast. It’s a bit of a throwback. We talk about the lolsuit, the rise of a feminist caliphate in the west, and the pussy that keeps me going. Very NSFW.



“Wanna Be My Lawyer” by KenDollInHide.



“How the Crinch Stole Cucksmas” by Anthony Charles Esq.



“LandCow Attorney at LOL” by Sriracha.



Dick Pics!

Thumbnail from on high by HeHeSilly Comics.



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