A Fanatically Fab Fan

Welcome to a very special edition of Suck My Beatles. Today we present an interview with two extreme beatle fans who have been kind enough to share their time and collection with the fine folks here at SMB. We first became aware Steve after receiving a few messages from him which stood out from the usual fodder we receive from beatle fans. Steve was not only capable of forming a sentence, he also seemed to possess the ability to think and communicate. Amongst beatle fans, this is very rare.

Beset By Beatles Booty

We knew we were dealing with an extraordinary individual when along with the message, “I hate your website so much I’ve grown to love it.” He also sent us these videos of his collection:

Fab42’s Collection Part One

Fab42’s Collection Part Two

At first we thought it must be some kind of twisted joke, a bleak vision of some newly discovered circle of hell, but Steve and his lovely wife are the real deal. Their collection goes beyond rational thought. It boggles the mind and sets the bar for new FF collectors to aspire to, and for the rest of us to be dumbstruck by.

Without any further ado, we’re proud to present former circus performer and current sideshow beatle freak, Fab42.

The Interview:

SMB: Hi Steve and Beth, thanks for your time and agreeing to be interviewed by SMB. Let’s start with a few preliminary questions. How are you going?

Fab42: Fab…gear.

SMB: How long have you been married?

Fab42: We’ve been together 8 years, married 3.

SMB: Did the beatles bring you two together?

Fab42: No, we actually met on-line! We were both single and just hit it off!

SMB: I understand that you were married by an Elvis impersonator, sorry, Elvis Tribute Artist. Were the beatles impersonators too tacky?

Fab42: Paying one Elvis to marry us was enough….to pay the 4 Beatles….was really out of our price range.

SMB: Roughly, what is your age group?

Fab42: Beth……late 40s. Steve….early 50s….ie…….54….sigh.

SMB: Would you say you love the beatles more than each other, or equally?

Fab42: We love The Beatles. We love each other. We love others. We just love……and that’s all we need!

SMB: If love is all you need, whats with all the stuff?

Fab42: Love IS all you need! “Want”….is a completely different word!

It’s like comparing apples to fish! (There IS a difference ya know!)

The devils music

SMB: Did your parents listen to the beatles, or did they refuse to allow the devils music in their god-fearing home?

Fab42: No my parents didn’t listen to the Beatles. I grew up listening to country music….gospel……Jim Reeves…..until I got my 1st transistor radio. That’s when the world of music opened up to me via our hometown AM radio station….KMEL.

SMB: Besides the obvious, what were some of the other groups you first heard on your transistor radio?

Fab42: Many. Gerry and the Pacemakers….Freddy and the Dreamers….Little Eva…Frankie Avalon….The Raindrops…..Shirelles….Bobby Vinton….DC5…The Ronettes….Beach Boys….Gary Lewis and the Playboys….Elvis….the list goes on and on and on.

SMB: What would you sacrifice to bring the beatles back?

Fab42: This is a difficult question. The world I live in is so very different and simpler than the ones the Beatles experienced. Also…the Beatles were a moment in time…..a wonderful moment in time…that will never be repeated. You were there to hear and feel it…..or you weren’t. It’s a huge part of my childhood that I get to re-live every day thru my collection…..but the Beatles time…as “The Beatles”…has come and gone. Only the music and memories remain. Would I love to see John and George still here with us? Of course I would….but there is nothing I…or anyone else in this life “has” to sacrifice to achieve such….so I hold on the music and the memories…..dearly.

SMB: Do you remember your first exposure to the beatles? If so, what was the song, and who was the culprit who forced you to listen to it? Do you harbour any resentment towards the guilty party for ruining your life?

Fab42: So to re-phrase your question….you are asking me what was the best day of my life as a child…right? It was watching the Ed Sullivan Show…which featured the Fab 4 that evening. Until then…as I noted earlier…..all I heard was country and gospel. Try listening to that yourself! It’s all fine and good…..but it’s not me. When I saw them….the world changed. It was incredible. It is still incredible….almost 50 years later. I remember talking Beatles for weeks after the Ed Sullivan Show…and my Dad saying….”Leave him be….it’s just a fad”. My Dad was wrong…..way wrong. I remember making guitars out of cardboard with other boys on my block and singing Beatle songs to the neighbors….who in turn…would give us a nickel or dime….and off we would be to the store to buy Beatles picture trading cards with the gum in the pack. I still have a sealed pack in my collection.

SMB: What’s your favourite beatle song/album, and why?

Fab42: Again…a hard question. I love them all….but mostly the earlier ones. That’s where the childhood memories lie. Meet the Beatles….Introducing the Beatles…The Beatles 2nd Album. Favorite song? Nowhere Man. Followed closely by A Day in the Life.

SMB: Do you own every beatle album? How many beatles albums/45’s would you estimate you have?

Fab42: No. I don’t own them all….nor would I want to. I’m not a purist about collecting. I collect what I like. I will not buy something just because it’s there. It has to strike a chord with me….then….I have to have it! How many LPs and 45s do I have? Tons. I would take hours to count them. I have The Beatles…Rutles…songs sang about the Beatles….tributes….comedy recordings of the fabs….Chipmunks sing the Beatles…..Snoopy’s Beatles…the list goes on and on.

SMB: Do you listen to the beatles everyday, or do you also listen to music?

Fab42: I do not listen to The Beatles everyday….but if I hear them on the radio….I sure turn it up!!! I like almost all the 60s British invasion groups. Music was fun then….and it’s still fun today! I guess I’m sorta “stuck in the 60s” and loving it.

Brainwashing and Indigestion

SMB: Are you aware of brainwashing techniques incorporating constant repetition which are not only capable of blocking out creative thought, but can also join limited thoughts with pleasurable emotions so that they are mentally linked together?

Fab42: Sure! Watch ANY commercial on TV!! It’s all there! From beer to cars to fast food to insurance to clothes to over the counter drugs to Rx drugs. The list goes on and on. It’s how corporate America has always shook the change out of our pockets! Silly jingles are another way. “Plop plop fizz fizz…oh what a relief it is” “I’d like to teach the world to sing…in perfect harmony” sold alot of Coca-Cola no?

Or the handsome cowboy telling us to “Come to where the flavor is…..come to Marlboro country”. Its endless.

SMB: I agree with you completely. Do you find any similarity with the way corporate America sells Pepto Bismol, and the way beatlemart sells, well…everything? Do you agree with the use of John Lennnon’s image to sell Citroën Cars ? Or beatle songs to sell diapers ?

Do you think it’s a positive thing to keep the music and memory of the beatles alive, or is it all about the money?

Fab42: I do NOT agree with the powers of Beatlemart…..or any other mart…as it were. Anytime something magic happens that captures the eyes and ears…and even the hearts of people…..there will be someone to try to cash in on it. But…it’s nothing new. How many items has Jesus sold this week? Elvis? It will sadly always be so….but it is also out of my circle of concern….so I pay it no mind.

Magical Mystery Hemorrhoids

SMB: Would you rather a teenager hear the beatles for the first time because of a hemorrhoid commercial, or not hear them at all?

Fab42:I would rather they hear it in ANY form…than not….and then hope they had the common sense to see thru the bullshit….which I grant you…is deep.

SMB: Is there anything you listen to besides the beatles?

Fab42: You betcha!!! I love many types of music….but I have to “like it”…not just buy it because so and so sang it. I have a huge library of music…from Sinatra to The Royal Guardsmen…and that covers some area!

SMB: How many beatles movies do you own?

Fab42: All of them……at least all I know about!

SMB: Do you agree with the statement, ‘Yellow Submarine consists of an aimless plot revolving around music written to torture children while assaulting the viewer with spastic, gaudy animation” source

Fab42: Of course not. Yellow sub was a children’s song…..that was featured in a 60s psychedelic cartoon starring the Beatles. It was “the culture of the era”…the cartoon itself…a time gone by….and a classic.

SMB: Do you choose your friends by their commitment to the fab four?

Fab42: No. Not everyone likes everything I do….and I don’t mind what they like or don’t…..it’s out of my circle of concern. Here however….we are Beatlefans!

SMB: How many beatles collectibles do you own?

Fab42: Hundreds and hundreds plus 3.

SMB: How long did it take to amass this collection and what would you estimate is it worth?

Fab42: I started it in about 1964. I went thru some hard times at one point where I had to sell some of it to get by….but I eventually got it all back…and more…and more….and more! What it’s worth really doesn’t concern me as it will never be for sale…unless to improve upon it…the collection… or buy something else I feel I need! See the next question for a better understanding! If liquidated all one has is cash in hand. I have my childhood here with me…and that is priceless.

SMB: What is the first collectible you owned?

Fab42: Beatles gum cards from money acquired from singing to the neighbors!

A sidenote…..about 10 years ago I wanted a hotrod car….the one you see sitting in my garage in my youtube video. I didn’t have the money to buy such an item…so I traded a Beatles first state stereo yesterday and today butcher cover for it….the car. One lp bought the car. So collecting Beatles….as well as other Rock and Roll memrobilia has its up sides too!

SMB: That’s incredible. Can you tell me a little bit about the hotrod?

Fab42: The car is a 1923 Ford T-bucket Roadster…..with a 68 6 cylinder engine. If you want a cushioned ride….stay the hell away from it…..but if ya wanna have a great time….HOLD ON…and away we go! It’s a glorified toy for big boys….nothing more……Vrrooooom!

SMB: What’s your favourite piece from the collection?

Fab42: I have 2 favorites. My Beatles record player…and my 1967 Williams BEAT TIME Beatles pinball machine! They both are in the youtube video as well.

Mothballs and Buttplugs

SMB: Is there anything beatle related that you would not want in your collection, such as beatle moth balls? What about a beatle butt plug?

Fab42: I already have 2 complete un-opened sets of Beatles mothballs with backing card attached! Would I like to have the Beatles buttplugs? DAMN STRAIGHT I WOULD! I’d love it!!! Not many collectors could say they had those eh? But I would like the advertising card to go with them for display!!! Hey…if ya can’t laugh at yourself…..you sure shouldn’t laugh at others! So tell me….do you have a set for sale??? Snicker.

SMB: Unfortunately we’ve been unable to find anybody willing to manufacture them. The whole process has been a gigantic pain in the ass. Do you feel as though they missed out on a huge opportunity for beatles pesticides and cleaning products?

Fab42: Oh Im sure something along those lines is in the works somewhere…..sigh.

Money is ALWAYS the bottom line.

SMB: Do you feel the beatles have been a positive influence on your life?

Fab42: Without a doubt. My 2 girls…who are grown…are huge fans. Beth is a huge fan…as well as her girls. My Mom and Sisters and Brother as well. It’s the Beatles! How can you go wrong?

SMB: What is your opinion of albums like Beatle Lullabyes, and Rockabye Baby? Would you play them for your children if they were at that age?

Fab42: We already have Beatles for Babies to play for our little grandkids! If you listen to songs of today…not all mind you…but some…..are mean…violent…sexist crap. I soooo believe that listening to pretty songs….fun songs….is a wonderful way to initiate children to music. If in time…they find other music they like…so be it! But at least they got to hear both sides of the rainbow…..the final choice…is theirs.

SMB: Do you feel it’s fair to indoctrinate helpless infants with this music, robbing them of the chance to form their own opinions regarding music?

Fab42: Yes…it’s perfect. It robs them of nothing. Nothing ventured…nothing gained!

SMB: Have you ever considered that you might not be a beatle collector but a beatle hoarder, like those people on television? Would you consider undergoing treatment?

Fab42: You ask that like it’s a bad thing! So far I’m just a collector….but a Beatle hoarder is a goal within my sites! Reach for the stars! Treatment? I’m treated everyday! Every time I look at the collection…..it’s a treat! Every time.

SMB: Do you have a favorite beatle?

Fab42: Yes. John Lennon. To my dying day….my hero.

SMB: How many times have you seen the beatles or former beatles in concert?

Fab42:Never. Only on tape or TV. I’ve seen Paul McCartney live…[THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE]…..and briefly talked to Ringo during one of his All Star Shows when he pointed out that we were wearing I Love Ringo pins from the 1960s. We were in the front row…and he noticed them! It was fun.

SMB: I noticed that you’ve decorated your kitchen with images of the beatles, including a Yellow Submarine on the floor. Does this interfere with digestion?

Fab42: So far it has had no effect on me….but a few too many beers can sure play hell with my stomach! Still…..I give it the ol’ college try!

SMB: Do you play any of these instruments?

Fab42: Yes. The guitar. Do I play it well? No. I can’t sing either….but I do it anyway!

“Sing. Sing a song. Let the world sing along. Dont worry that it’s not good enough for anyone else to hear. Just sing. Sing a song” The Carpenters

SMB: Does having a beatle ceiling fan make you feel cool, or does it create a sense of swirling dread in the air?

Fab42: When it’s hot outside…it makes me feel mega-cool. Just this side of Studly!

SMB: Do you prefer beatle ketchup over other kinds of ketchup?

Beatles Ketchup is wayyyy better! I’ve compared it against Yellow matter custard….and there is just no contest.

SMB: What is your favourite beatle cereal?

Fab42: Wheat and Rice Honeys of course! Isn’t it everyone’s favorite?

Dismembered beatle heads

SMB: You seem to own a disproportionate number of dismembered beatle heads, what did you do with the rest of the bodies? DO you have a hidden collection of beatle arms and legs?

Fab42: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds it might incriminate me. Unless you have 8X10 glossies….you can prove nothing! Nothing I tells ya!

SMB: Do you think the beatles could have beaten Elvis in a fistfight? Did any of the beatles study martial arts?

Fab42: Of course! Four against one? Easy math! As for part 2 of the question…It’s lost to history.

SMB: How many copies of the Butcher Album do you own?

Fab42: 4 first states….2 trunk cover 2nd states.

SMB: Do you think you’ve rebelled against the beatles by actually managing to buy love?

Fab42: Never pay for what’s already free. Sex included.

SMB: I noticed you also have beatle light switch covers. Is this so you can turn the beatles on?

Fab42: Uhhhh…yes? I guess I never looked at it that way!

SMB: Mickey Dolenz was a big influence on the beatles, how has he affected your lives and why don’t you have any monkees paraphernalia?

Fab42: “Step into my parlour…said the spider to the fly”………..

Who said I didn’t? I have a TON of Monkees things! An entire collection….akin to the Beatleroom! I even have a 1988 stretch MONKEES limousine! [see enclosed pic!] But your website is “Suck my Beatles” no? When you own “Suck my Monkees”….we will talk! My house is a museum. The rooms are as follows….each room a different theme…

Beatleroom

Elvis room

Monkees room

Jan and Dean room

Ufos and Aliens room…..[ their real ya know….]

Nascar room

Tattoo parlour

Circus room….[I was once a catcher on the flying trapeze….no joke]

And the GARAGE TAVERN!!!

SMB: What is your favourite beatle hair product? Do you prefer spray or the pomade? Do you think the beatles have significantly contributed to global warming with their aerosol products?

Fab42: Well…since all my hair fell out…from using inferior products to those the Beatles endorsed….I really don’t buy them anymore. Maybe if they come out with Beatle toupees? As for contributing to global warming…..I sure hope so…cause its damn cold here!

SMB: I noticed you have beatles Rock band. Do you get extra points for looking cute while singing?

Fab42: 10 points for looking cute. Looking cute AND carrying a tune…..gets you into the bonus round! I haven’t made it yet….but never say die!

SMB: Are you offended that Jones Soda made the beatle flavour ‘Bubble Gum,’ or do you think a revolution soda might have tasted a little too salty?

Fab42: I think your thinking of John Lemon soda. It’s the salty one.

The others are good though! Paul Mc Icetea…..Mango Starr and my personal favorite…Orange Harrison!

SMB: There seems to be a lot of beatle candy products. Do you think this was done purposely do cater to their target audience, or just a coincidence? What would be a more macho beatle product?

Fab42: As John Lennon said…..”Money….that’s what I want” Who doesn’t? Would you turn it down to stand on principal? Me thinks not. I already have Beatle beer….and in my book…that’s as manly as it gets! Refreshing too!!

beatle Zombies and Cannibalism

SMB: I noticed that your a fan of Zombeatles. If the beatles came back as zombies, do you think people would flock to be eaten by them, or would they be more docile and peace loving zombies willingly led around by the collar like in the film Fido?

Fab42: “A flocking they would go…a flocking they would go….heigh ho the dairy-O…a flocking they would go” “Braaaaaaains”………

SMB: Do you feel the beatle marionettes symbolize how the FF became puppets of a corporate empire who dictated their decisions and forced them dance in order to fatten their already bulging wallets?

Fab42: Not at all! Everyone knows the Beatles loved Howdy Doody…it’s just their homage to him! “What time is it boys and girls?”

SMB: What do Sunny and Shadey think of your collection?

Fab42: The back of the Jones soda bottles reads…..”Beatleroom brought to you by Sunny and Shady….Shih tzu Beatle fans” It really does! If you look close….they are sitting at the table on the label!

SMB: I must admit your garage is pretty cool. I feel a sense of tension between the Elvis and beatles items. Are you ever afraid you might be unleashing powers beyond your control?

Fab42: Fear is for sissys. Battle of the Rock Stars! Bring it on!

SMB: Did you buy every beatle slot machine ever manufactured?

Fab42: No….I only have 2….so far. Give a guy a chance! I’ve only been collecting 46 years! I’ll get there! Sheeeesh.

SMB: DO you feel any kinship towards John MacLennon , and do you think you might ever consider doing the same with your home?

Fab42: You seem to present this collectors story like it’s a bad thing? I don’t get it. Seems perfectly normal to me! Now please pass the BRAAAAINS!

You mean selling tickets for admittance? Never. This is our home…..we just have more fun than most folks is all!

SMB: All in all, I’m in awe of your collection. Overwhelmed, impressed, and scared. Upon first glance your home is reminiscent of Silence of the Lambs. Do you have a beatle dungeon, or do you simply torture guests with the entire house?

Fab42: I think you stated what we do quite eloquently in your question!

Good job!!

SMB: Thanks very much for taking the time to do this interview and show us your home. Your time is greatly appreciated. In closing, are there any closing remarks you’d like to add?

Fab42: The Beatles.

A magical time that will never be repeated….nor should it be.

A moment in time. A wonderful moment in time.

Thanks for the interview….it was a blast!

Steve and Beth…..Sunny and Shady.

Beatles fans