A year has passed since we cast an eye over Wiley’s Twitter account, and what an eventful 12 months it’s been for grime’s mad auntie. When not recording number one singles about putting his hands up and being harassed by women, or pretending to have been involved in car crashes, he’s been very busy writing down every single thought that comes into his head. Here are the most bizarre bits of wisdom he’s spouted, in no particular order.

1. I need a bad bitch to come and rub her greasy mits over my underpants modelling body

2. I just swam across the thames from woolwich to canning town ….lol

3. Bring back Top Of The Pops…..No saville tho….

4. I might delete my twitter account i dont wanna be in this world i wanna go to avatar

5. Omg fake snow lol

6. Everyone born on the 19th day of your birthday month ….lets have a party

7. Wishing my name was bob at the moment cos “wiley” is getting on my nerves

8. “NID FOR SPID”

9. i just blocked stevie wonder lol

10. I need to go raving in cambridge and if ever see that girl oh my lord im snatching her bag and taking all valubles instantly i dont care lol

11. Goo goo gaa gaa

12. If u dare have a bbq invite me dont be out of order …any endz it dont matter ….man will get there

13. Motorbike’s are a sick invention trust me….yamaha…

14. Losing an iphone is never a good feeling but thats how life goes sometimes…………….fuck it ……

15. Nid for spid 2

16. Hold tight luke curtis i found your bus pass in a taxi to get it back contact 02079871100

17. omnibus…lol that word makes me laugh…

**BONUS** OUR FAVE WILEY INSTAGRAM POSTS

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By James Edwards and John McDonnell

Follow John on Twitter here: @thewebsiteyep

Follow James on Twitter here: @jaaaamesss