When I look back on the past 5 years of my marriage, I can’t see where things went wrong. Was it my fault, and I’m just too blind to see it? How long has this been going on anyway?

I’m not saying we never had an argument, but things were great on the whole. Gussie and I still had the chemistry going on, found some romantic moments spontaneously, like in the old times, at least until about six months ago.

First I noticed that our breakfasts were quiet. It’s not like Gussie was cold, he just seemed distracted all the time. Like there was a distance between us. I used to love our banters over pancakes and coffee, but lately he’s answers seemed shorter and shorter, and sometimes he just didn’t seem to hear me at all.

Then more often than not he was on a completely different planet. We would sit outside the cafe, chatting, and all of a sudden he would go quiet, his eyes blank. When our drinks arrived, he wouldn’t even notice it.

I kept telling myself that this is just a phase… But when it was still going on weeks later I wasn’t so sure anymore.

After he started sneaking out during the night and sit in his study until dawn, I knew that this is not something I just need to wait out.

When I confronted him, he denied everything.

“What do you mean I’m behaving strange?”, he asked, and looked genuinely confused.

After I pointed out all the things that bothered me, he said I have nothing to worry about, it’s just work. He’s been pushing for a promotion and that means not only writing about what happens in our little town, but coming up with big stories, and freelancing for other newspapers.

He was convincing, but still… It did not sit right with me. Especially after I confronted his boss, Rosie.

“He’s working his ass off, almost never sleeps anymore. All for that promotion! Surely he proved himself enough”, I said, my voice raising with every word.

“Sweetie, I don’t know what you are talking about. We are a small town paper with two journalists, there is nowhere to promote them”, she replied, and looked at me like I was deranged.

I grew more and more uneasy each day.

On our 5th anniversary we threw a party and invited all our friends. Although Gussie’s new colleague, Leo, is not exactly one of them, I made sure he comes as well, so I can grill him about my husband. In spite of having him cornered alone upstairs, and interrogated him for about half an hour, he did not reveal anything useful. If only I could have gone a bit harder on him! But I can’t exactly threaten his family, can I? Gussie is not working on anything big as far as he knew, and he’s been exactly the same since they know each other. He’s probably not the best reference anyway, only started six months ago, so for him this is the normal Gussie.

Li Lo, who knows all my fears, also failed to extract anything useful from Gussie, and Ben thought I’m just being paranoid.

Although I doubt he even listened to my story properly, because I saw him scanning the room constantly, fearing an attack from Hailey, who was also there; nobody invited her, as usual.

Apparently she still has the habit of turning up on Ben’s porch, uninvited, although Ben has been with Gracie ever since they got together on our wedding.

Tyra was also on the guest list, so it was a busy evening for Ben.

I became really good friends with Tyra about a year ago. I was out for a walk when I ran into her. Since Ben broke up with her after Gussie’s stag do, she’s been single. I didn’t think it’s possible, but she also doubled up in size.

I know appearance is not everything, but I really felt sorry for her, and convinced her to come to the gym with me. Eventually she even listened to my dietary advice, and now she looks like an average human again.

Yesterday, the day after the anniversary party, Gussie was even more peculiar than his now-usual weirdness. He left his pancakes untouched – although I can’t blame for him, I still burn them sometimes -, dressed up, like he was going to fine dine with the president himself, and walked out the door without a word.

When he was still not back after dark, and did not answer his phone either, I knew it. He’s cheating on me, and he doesn’t even try to hide it anymore. I just needed proof.

Although he has a password on his computer, it did not take long for me to break in. His email account was a bit more difficult, but I managed to figure out his login details in half an hour. I was just about to click on the first juicy piece from an Emily Hawkes, with the subject “Dinner at 7?”, when I heard the door crack. Right behind me.

My finger froze above the keyboard. I heard Gussie gasp in horror.

“Abbie, what are you doing?”, his voice broke.

“What I should have done a long time ago”, I said without looking up.

But before I could do anything he was there and wrenched the mouse out of my hand, and shut down the computer with one swift movement.

“You are unbelievable”, he said. To my surprised he seemed more disappointed than angry.

“I’m unbelievable? It’s you, sneaking around, ignoring me for months!”, I replied, trying to swallow my indignation.

“I told you! I’m working on something!”

“Oh, your promotion, right? How come Rosie knows nothing about it?”

At this point he went completely silent. Just stared at me. Then slowly he shook his head and left. I thought he went downstairs. But then I heard the front door close.

He has not come back since… I hope that Emily is now really happy, she got my husband all to herself.