Have you ever wondered what you really want out of life? Do you know what you want to achieve? Is it family, success, long life, lots of money, all of the above? Have you even asked yourself the question? And if you did ask yourself, didn’t you just as quickly forget about it?

We are constantly surrounded by TV ads, media trends, and all kinds of advice from sports heroes, music bands and film stars. They tell us what to do, what to like and what to think. They tell us what to eat, what to wear, how to bathe, even how to talk. This endless flow of information is in our face and in our heads 24/7. However, it is not there to help us. It is only there to sell us a product or a service or to increase their power over us.

What if you ignored this “advice” and chose something else? It wouldn’t take long for your friends, family and co-workers to tell you it was a bad idea.

The end result is you think you enjoy what you do, you think you live in a nice place, and you think you use the right products. Yet, deep down inside, you are not sure. Maybe you ask yourself “do I really like this job or is it only the money” and “do I really like these friends and their advice or don’t I have a choice?”

The question is “Do you know what you really want?”

The answer is “Yes you do, you just haven’t asked yourself yet”.

If you’re in an unhappy situation, don’t be passive and do nothing. A little positive thinking will tell you what you really want. That sounds good, but what exactly should you do? Did you ever have to do something, but had no idea even how to start? The more you thought about it, the more impossible it became. Round and round inside your head until you gave up, and went back to living with the old problem.

To know what you really want, you don’t need advertising. You don’t need to buy the latest products or services. Above all, you don’t need to be told. All you need is a little personal time to think things out. And I will tell you how to do that. However, do not expect instant answers for wealth, health, power and happiness. Happiness and health are natural conditions; they cannot be ends in themselves. Money and power do not bring you anything; they are just a means to get what you really want.

Here is a tip. Ultimately, it comes down to inner harmony and a true understanding. You will live a good relaxing life if you are healthy and happy. But if you don’t know what you really want, then all the money and power in the world won’t help you relax.

Here’s How to Find Out – an Exercise for Your Mind

You want to ask yourself “What do I really want?” The easiest way to know yourself and to get an honest answer to the question is … Sorry I can’t tell you; it’s not that easy. This is a private personal question to yourself, and the answer will be equally private. What I can tell you is the technique to use to ask the question. The answer will be your deepest and truest desire for what will make you happy and make sense of everything around you.

To start, find yourself some free time when you won’t be interrupted. Thirty minutes to an hour will be enough. Turn off all distractions (phone, computer, TV, etc.).

Take a sheet of paper and write at the top in large letters “I want …”.

Underneath write down the first thing that comes into your mind. Do not worry if it’s really stupid, nobody else is going to read it.

Carry on down the page, making a list of what you want. The first five to ten things will come easily to you and it should not take you more than a minute.

After that it gets interesting. Continue with your list until you have one hundred answers. Remember this is fun, not a chore! Just write whatever is natural, simple, and exciting.

Ah ha! There is the answer to your question. Eventually, one of your answers will be the one to make you happy, bring you money, and make you look successful to others. And the fact that you worked it out for yourself will make you even happier and more confident.

A True Example – How I Did It

I did the same exercise. After about fifty minutes, I had ninety-five answers. At first they were all the typical standard things like “I want to be rich,” “I want more friends,” “I want a big house.” Then came some really strange answers like “I want to read people’s thoughts,” “I want to fly.” Don’t worry, that is normal. After about twenty to thirty answers, all kinds of strange ideas will pop up in your head; things that you never thought you would want.

Now I am sure you are curious. You want to know what was the key answer that switched on the light in my head. I will tell you.

“I want to help other people be happy, rich, and in control of their lives”.



The hidden message (mine and maybe yours) is that to be happy and have everything I want, all I have to do is help as many people as possible! Ultimately, what we are is what we do, and what we do is reflected in the people around us. I encourage you to look around you and perceive everything, as a reflection of what you are, and again, from this standpoint ask yourself: ‘What do I really want?’

Ashton Aiden is passionate about helping people find practical and effective ways for overcoming their inner barriers, reaching that next level of success and self-awareness, and manifesting the life of their dreams. He is a certified life coach, the owner of Brainwavelove.com, and the author of ‘The Complete Change Your Life System’.