By now, Toronto’s new LRV is an established part of the urban landscape. Quiet, attractive and big, it hums along city streets strangely oblivious to the mayhem unfolding on every side. The Flexity Outlook, as it’s named, has been in service since 2014. And although city council approved funding back in 2009, the TTC’s order for 204 vehicles remains years from completion. The manufacturer, Bombardier, has proved itself hopelessly incompetent.

But what’s it like to ride the new vehicle? Though in many respects it represents an improvement over the old CLRV streetcar, its successor — let’s call it the FO — is a mixed blessing. If truth be told, despite being marginally more comfortable, it doesn’t live up to expectations.

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Here are some of the reasons why:

It’s really, really, slow. Perhaps because of the vehicle’s length (30 metres), operators seem reluctant to go at more than a distracted crawl. Even on routes such as Spadina (510), where drivers have their own right of way, they travel at a snail-like pace. The FO appears to have a sedative effect on an operator’s brain, putting it into low gear and unable to move quickly.

But it’s not all the drivers’ fault: the doors — all six of them — close so slowly, every stop becomes an exercise in anger management for frustrated passengers late for work. The doors take longer to open and close than those of the new subway cars underground.

And let’s not forget the exterior door-opening buttons on the sides of the vehicle. They allow last-minute dashers to further delay the process. It is a rare and joyous occasion when an FO makes it through an intersection in less than one or two red lights. The corner of King and Sumach is so slow, anxious riders are often seen standing and staring to see why the vehicle hasn’t budged for what seems an eon. It’s actually not the vehicle’s fault; this is one of the worst-designed intersections in the transit system.

To make matters worse, the sheer length of a five-sectioned, 100-foot beast means that turning left or right is an ordeal. By contrast, the CLRV streetcar seems positively nimble.

The FO’s length makes it ideal for fare evaders. Regulars know that when TTC ticket-police board the vehicle, they never fail to find cheaters. Never. Who knows how much revenue the commission will lose as a result?

Speaking of fares: the on-board ticket machine is a disaster. The odd mechanical genius who understands how these contraptions work is practically applauded by onlookers when, triumphantly, he or she pulls out his POP (proof of payment). For the rest of us, the machine is inscrutable and unusable. Trying to make it work is a public humiliation. On the other hand, it serves as an excellent conversation starter, especially between tech-savvy young people and their baffled elders.

In addition to seating for 70, the new vehicles have standing room for 181 people, the TTC claims. That’s hard to believe; the aisle that runs down the centre of the FOs is narrow and, thanks to the jerky motion of the multi-sectioned vehicle, it’s difficult to negotiate even under the best conditions. There are open areas around the second and third (two-door) entrances, but they are constricted. In any case, cramming almost 200 unfortunates into one of these would be a good way to drive them from the TTC once and forever.

Most unexpectedly, perhaps, hiding operators in a cabin — or is it cockpit? — has been predictably depersonalizing. Previously, the driver was the captain of the ship, or at least, someone in control. They were a helpful and reassuring presence; now they are a conspicuous absence.

The seating arrangement, especially the two-facing-two configuration, empowers man-spreaders and space hogs. It’s never been easier for a single person to take up four seats while occupying only one.

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On the other hand, the armrests are nice and the windows, though they don’t open, are large and (when not covered in advertisements) provide unobstructed views of the street. The low floor makes the new vehicles significantly more accessible than older streetcars, but once on board there’s not much room for wheelchairs, strollers and so on.

Flexity’s unofficial task, of course, is to serve as an image of a modern, progressive city moving confidently into the future. That’s the one job it does too well.

Christopher Hume is a former Star reporter who is a current freelance columnist based in Toronto. Follow him on Twitter: @HumeChristopher

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