From time to time, I'll respond at length to comments left on my pieces here in the column. Mostly, I'll choose substantive and thoughtful comment to address, but this first time is different. During my inaugural week here at the Guardian, I've noticed a bit of a theme in the comments section – there are a great lot of you who don't like feminists! So to pay homage to the most vocal folks in comments this week, this one's for you.



Tom M: "Why don't you just say 'I don't like men' and get it over with?" (in response to 'Men who use nicknames for women to win fights are creepy, sexist and dumb')

Great question, Tom! Thanks for taking the time to call me perhaps the oldest and most tired anti-feminist insult there is: man-hater. You must feel so proud.

I'm going to sort of agree with your comment and expand on it. I think "I don't like men who ..." is a more accurate portrayal of my worldview.

I don't like men who are sexist. I find that males who think of themselves as above me because of gender are generally unlikeable fellows. (And, for whatever strange reason, are usually terrible spellers, too.) I don't like men who call women they don't know "sweetie", "honey" or cutesy nicknames – it's obnoxious and condescending. I don't like men who harass women on the street, making comments about their bodies or telling them to smile. I don't like men who control women in relationships, abuse them or hurt them sexually. I don't like men who use the social and political power they have to further discrimination against women in a desperate bid to maintain their status.

I don't like men who leave boring comments about what a man-hater I must be for not enjoying the tidal wave of sexism that women endure in small and large ways daily. I really don't like them.

Amazingly, despite this list of the types of men I don't like - and I probably could go on with more "dislikes" if you asked me to – I have the most amazing men in my life. My father, who bought me chemistry sets and robots for every tea set or doll. My husband, an incredible feminist who is an equal partner in parenting and the home. My male friends, who believe that gender justice is important and worth fighting for. I don't have a hard time finding these amazing men because - shockingly - most men are pretty cool guys.

So here's the thing, Tom. I think it's you who doesn't like men - how could you, given that you seem to assume all men are blithering sexists? I realize it might be more comfortable to imagine that most men are misogynists; it might make your own sexism feel more justified. But I operate under the assumption that sexists are in the minority, that most men are invested in ridding the world of sexists, and that they'd therefore would like to hear how to help out.

But what do I know? I'm just a "man-hater".