The ability to construct viable excuses as to why client’s projects have not been completed on time is one of my strengths.



For years, people have been emailing me saying, "the type is too small on your website" and my response has generally been "walk it off princess" but over the last few months, after having 20/20 vision all my life, my sight has suddenly blurred to the point where I have to wear glasses to read. It was probably a stroke or something. As such, I made the images clickable so they are easier to read for handicapped people and those with fifty-cockjillion megapixel monitors.Eons back, my html class teacher Mr Potts used to say "if you can't fit everything you need to say within 640 x 480 pixels, don't fucking bother; nobody wants to read a fucking novel on a computer screen." He also said "Never get married, sooner or later they all turn out to be thieving whores who sell your car to their cousin Robert."Years later, I heard Mr Potts had been fired for beating a student with a life-size cardboardcutout of actor Keanu Reeves. True story.