I'm the ambassador for this book.





Nobody Likes a Cockblock: The Children's Book For Adults Who Aren't Getting Any





Cockblocking by children is a serious condition that affects millions of parents around the world.









Excerpt:





The stars are out, it’s dark outside.

I can see that there’s sleep inside of your eyes.





Stay warm in your bed, on our door do not knock.

Because nobody likes a cockblock.





The train’s leaving the station, it’s about to go down.

My ticket is stamped for a trip to Pound Town.





Your job is to sleep like the heaviest rock.

Because nobody likes a cockblock.





I love mommy so much. She’s my favorite cutie.

Tonight I would like a piece of that bootie.





Don’t ask for milk or help with your sock,

because nobody likes a cockblock.

-------

Out April 5th





Preorder your copy to get it first: http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692636757

Dear Dentist,It was nice seeing you today. How is your hand? I too was surprised when my teeth cut through your gloves. Looks like I'm stronger than I thought. Rest assured that I am up to date on my shots.In my defense, when you said, "Say Ah," I had no idea you were a bone collector who wanted my teeth.Anyway sorry.I also want to let you know that my mom lied several times during your interrogation. When you asked, "Do you brush teeth twice a day?" she was only half truthful.While it's true that she puts me in a headlock and forces a toothbrush down my throat every night (I'm thinking of pressing charges if you know a lawyer), in the morning she just gives me a piece of toast in lieu of brushing. She says it works like a Milk Bone to remove debris. I wanted to tell you but she was holding my arm tight.I want to talk to you about what you said concerning my night milk. Specifically about "cutting it off." Are you a biologist? Surgeon? Then how do you know what my body needs? You're a mouth doctor. That's basically a senior tooth fairy and have no business getting involved in the rest of my body's personal business. I would appreciate if you formally retracted your statement. Milk is like family to me.Finally, when you said I'd get a "treat" at the end I assumed it would be something like fries or a hotdog not a piece of ocean plastic worth cents. Your reward box looks like a trash can from Santa's workshop. It's all garbage. There was not a single piece of taffy to be found. Your assistant said to take one of your poverty toys but I took three to make up for my trouble.I hope your wound is healing alright.See you in six months.xoxo HT Nobody Likes A Cockblock is perfect for birthday parties, baby showers, baptisms, and of course, wedding presents.