The Duke Blue Devils of college basketball fame lost their second consecutive game last night. Coach Mike Krzyzewski remains at 997 career wins, three away from - you guessed it - 1,000. It seems inevitable that he'll reach the unprecedented milestone... but what if he doesn't? This short play explores that possibility.


The year is 2020. COACH K, a frail man in his seventies, sits alone on a bench. Behind him are big colorful banners that read "FAREWELL COACH K" and "997 WINS - GREATEST COACH EVER" and "THANKS FOR 34 GREAT YEARS - DUKE." He has coached at Duke for 40 years.


COACH K: I can't believe it's over. After all these years... so much success... and then, so much failure. So much constant, agonizing failure.

He stands up. A lone basketball rolls on stage. He picks it up, considers it.

COACH K: There used to be a time I was real good at telling teens how to dribble this thing. That time was 1980 through 2014. But then...


He chokes up. He closes his eyes and breathes heavily, trying to calm down. Then, a burst of rage as he chucks the basketball into the audience. He puts his hands on his hips and stares at his feet.

COACH K: What happened? Why happened? How...?

He looks up at the empty Cameron Indoor Stadium seats, remembering the good times. He looks all the way up to the rafters, remembering the championships. He starts to smile before suddenly screaming, as though experiencing a sharp pain, and collapsing to the ground.


COACH K: One loss, fine. Teams lose. Even my teams. Two losses, okay, my teams don't do that as much, but it's not crazy. Three losses, four losses, fifty losses, one hundred...

He sits up, wipes tears from his eyes.

COACH K: After the first winless season, I wanted them to fire me. I begged them to fire me. Something was wrong that I couldn't fix. But they didn't fire me. They gave me a raise! They told me how much they valued my leadership! The NIT — the goddamn NIT — they still invited us every year. Did they feel bad for me? Were they taunting me?


He looks over his shoulders at the celebratory banners and laughs. He shakes his head ruefully.

COACH K: They had a party planned. A big party for number 1,000. All the players I'd ever coached were gonna be there. Grant, Christian, Kyrie... now not even Miles Goddamn Plumlee will return my calls. I had this big emotional inspirational speech I was going to deliver, too. "This was all for you, the fans and students and alumni of this great university. You're the ones who helped me get to 1,000 wins. Here's to 1,000 more..."



He buries his face in his hands.


COACH K: "Here's to 1,000 more."

A beat. Fraught with emotional tension. Then, darkly:

COACH K: I asked them to give me the 1,000 win banner last week. So I could burn it. But they wouldn't let me. They said, "three more games, Coach K! There's still a chance!" Yeah right. Now it's probably being used as some dead kid's bedspread in Mogadishu.


He gets up and dusts off his suit.

COACH K: I knew I was never gonna win again after the first game of the 2016 Olympics. We had Curry, Durant, LeBron, Anthony Davis, all at full strength. And we lost by 53 to Maldives. MALDIVES! I didn't even know there was a goddamn COUNTRY called Maldives!


He sits back down on the bench, tries to relax.

COACH K: Apparently it's mostly underwater. Yeah, well, I'm the one who feels like he's drowning.


A young boy of about six years wanders onstage decked out in Duke gear.

BOY: Hello, Mister.

Coach K smiles. A young basketball mind waiting to be shaped!

COACH K: Hello there! Boy! Do you like to play basketball?

BOY: Yes! It's my favorite sport.

Coach K gets up as another lone basketball rolls onstage. K picks up the basketball and hands it to the boy.


COACH K: Would you like me to teach you how to run the 3-2 motion offense?

BOY: Um...

COACH K: Are you a post player or perimeter player?

BOY: I don't—

Just then, the boy's mother bursts onstage in a panic.

MOTHER: Oh thank god. There you are! I was so worried.

She runs to the boy, kneels down, and gives him a big hug.

BOY: Mommy! This sad old man was gonna teach me how to play basketball!

The mother glares at Coach K defensively.

MOTHER: You stay away from that man, honey. He's a loser coach.

BOY: Oh.

The mother grabs the boy by the hand and leads him offstage. The boy never looks back. Coach K sits back down on the bench, resigned.


COACH: Here's to 1,000 more.

FIN

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