You don’t get more dated than sketches about the O.J. Simpson trial. This one is a visual, so you really gotta picture it to make it work. I’m pretty sure this was part of some SNL samples. It sounds like an SNL sketch.

The ABC News O.J. Model Sketch

written by: Tony DiGerolamo

Copyright 1995

INT. ABC NEWS SET

This is ABC’s live coverage of the O.J. Simpson trial. PETER JENNINGS sits at his desk monitoring the activities.

ANNOUNCER (V/O)

ABC News live coverage of the O.J. Simpson

trial continues.

PETER

Thank you, we’re in the middle of another

break in the trial, but while we’re waiting,

let’s talk with our panel of experts.

ANGLE ON JAY

PETER

We have Jay Maguire, lead prosecutor for

the county of New York.

ANGLE ON WILMA

PETER (CONT’D)

Wilma Peele, Assistant D.A. for the city

of Philadelphia.

ANGLE ON BOB

PETER (CONT’D)

And, Bob Newton, an experienced trial

attorney, from Newton, Newton and Lobage.

Mr. Newton, let me start with you. The

prosecution has put forth the evidence

of the bloody glove. How strong do you

think is that evidence?

BOB

Well, I think its very damaging to the

Simpson defense. It, um…it is, well,

bloody.

JAY

Peter, let me just interject here. I

think the investigation of the LAPD

clearly does not show who the glove

belongs to, if you look at the photos…

PETER

We don’t have those photos available to

us, but ABC has recreated the Simpson

house. Mr. Maguire, please describe

what we’re looking at.

ANGLE ON THE MODEL

This is an exact model of O.J.’s Rockingham estate.

JAY

This is, of course, Mr. Simpson’s estate.

As you can see here, there’s a very

thin alleyway between the fence and

the building.

ZOOM OUT to reveal the bloody glove, but unfortunately the glove is normal sized and looks gigantic as compared to the model.

JAY (CONT’D)

Clearly, the glove in question looks

too large for anyone to have carried

it here. I think it was placed here,

possibly by a giant, which could also

explain how the murderer got back from

Nicole Simpson’s residence so fast.

THREE SHOT, BOB, JAY AND WILMA

Bob looks very confused and distraught about the model. Jay is very serious about it.

BOB

Well, wait a minute— That was just

a model—

WILMA

Absolutely, Bob. Peter, Mr. Maguire’s

clearly not seeing the real point of

the recreated model. The real point

of this model is to show approximates.

Approximately, where the glove was,

not so much concentrating on proportions.

The real issue here is how did O.J.

Simpson…

BACK TO THE MODEL

ZOOM OUT more to reveal a train set nearby. The train is zooming around a tiny track at a high speed. A Gumby figure is at the controls.

WILMA (CONT’D)

Get past the Brentwood train? Clearly,

this train moves too fast and too quickly

for any human to get past it.

BOB

Excuse me, I, uh, really think my colleagues

are reading into this model a little

too much.

PETER

Interesting theory, Bob, do you think

the model makers may have played a

role in the Simpson/Goldman murder?

BOB

No, that’s the point. The models don’t

have anything to do with the murders.

PETER

Well, clearly Bob has a problem with

this recreation, so let’s put it aside.

BOB

Thank you.

PETER (CONT’D)

And take a look at the computerized model

of the crime scene. Ms. Peele?

ANGLE ON COMPUTERIZED MODEL

This is like the NBC computer model of Nicole Brown Simpson’s condo. As Wilma describes it, the computer shows recreated images of Nicole’s house.

WILMA

What we’re looking at here is the front

porch of the Nicole Brown residence.

As you can see, there wasn’t much

maneuvering room for Nicole or Ron

Goldman to get away. And as we examine

the interior of the condo further…

The computer zooms into the first room. It contains two computer generated figthers, one a ninja, the other a monster/man, fighting much like Mortal Kombat II.

WILMA (CONT’D)

We can see another possible explanation

for the Simpson/Goldman murder. Seeing

this I would have to ask why the police

never questioned these two, apparently

violent, individuals?

BACK TO THE THREE SHOT

Bob can’t believe this is happening.

JAY

I have to concur, but it may be the

fact that one of the suspects was a

half-man, half-lizard, so there may

have been some language barrier, but

even so…

PETER

Bob, your thoughts on the Ninja/Lizard

Man connection…

BOB

My thoughts?! Th-that’s ludicrous!

Where did you get these models?

PETER

Bob, I think you’re dwelling on the

“model issue” just a little bit.

(Peter is interrupted by someone off

camera) I’m sorry, Bob, you’re point

will have to wait, we’re just about to

go back to trial, but unfortunately, the

video feed has been severed. ABC does,

however, have back up visuals, let’s go

live to those at this time.

ANGLE ON BACK UP VISUALS

The back up visuals is a puppet version of the O.J. trial. The various players in this drama are represented by dolls. Judge Ito is a classic GI with a judges robe. Shapiro is represented by a Ken doll in a suit, etc. The model maker, unfortunately, ran out of dolls to fill up the audience, so it is full of Ninja turtles, Power Rangers, Super Heroes, Star Wars figures, etc. Marsha Clark is represented by a hand puppet and there is no audio.

KEY: O.J. Simpson trial – ABC Back Up Visual

Peter, Jay, Wilma and Bob are alternatively keyed in a box over the picture while they make comments. The Marsha Clark puppet seems very agitated.

PETER

We’re back at the trial and clearly

Prosecutor Marsha Clark is agitated

over something. Jay?

JAY

Again, this goes back to the opening

statements that Jonny Cochrane made.

The defense didn’t want the Simpson

family and the Goldman family facing

jurors, but now the prosecution may

be upset at allowing the Power Rangers

to view the trial.

WILMA

I agree, the Power Rangers are a powerful

presence, certainly. The jurors may well

ask and the defense may lean them in this

direction, where were the Power Rangers

during this investigation? Couldn’t some

of these beings use their powers to prove

or disprove the prosecutions theories?

JAY

Again, the possible “gaint” killer.

PETER

Bob, anything to add?

ANGLE ON BOB

He’s had it. He’s taking off his microphone and leaving.

BOB

(outraged)

You people are making a mockery out

of the Justice System. I’m leaving!

FOLLOW BOB as he opens the door to leave the room. As soon as he does, a giant Tyranasaurus Rex head grabs him and pulls him outside.

BOB

Ahhhhh! Ahhh!

ANGLE ON MODEL

A model dinosaur, thrashes around with a model of Bob in its mouth.

KEY: ABC Recreation

PETER

That’s all we have time for, we’ll be back

with more of the Simpson trial, after this.