I’m sure you’re all well aware of the Teammates feature on Soccer AM on Sky Sports and this morning Newcastle United’s missing in action defender Steven Taylor appeared to reveal all about his Toon teammates. Much of the accolades Taylor gave out are to be expected, but there are a few surprises in there too…

Unsurprisingly Cheick Tiote was selected as the hardman, with Mr T as hard as nails. Quickest was Gabriel Obertan, while slowest was a toss-up between Dan Gosling and Ryan Taylor, with Steven continuing the banter between the two Taylors by saying that when he’s running it’s like Ryan is carrying a caravan on his back!

French winger Obertan was also selected by Taylor as most skilful, although Hatem Ben Arfa can also lay claim to that crown with Saylor saying that Gabby does lose the ball quite a lot.

The most intelligent Newcastle United players, or geeks as Taylor likes to call them, are Geordie lads Steve Harper and Shola Ameobi. At the other end of the scale is Danish striker Peter Lovenkrands, who Tayls says is the least intelligent and could feature in Dumb and Dumber, but I don’t think Steven is the sharpest tool in the box either!

As a centre back, Steven selected the legendary Arsenal and England defender Tony Adams as his dream teammate, although I’m sure Fabricio Coloccini must come pretty close! In terms of nicknames Newcastle goalkeeper Tim Krul steals the show, as he’s been named ironing board for his ridiculously straight body and Hey Arnold due his football shaped head like the star of the TV show.

In terms of superstitions Argentina winger Jonas Gutierrez has them all, as he wears his boxer shorts and under socks inside out, as well as coming onto the pitch last of course. Shola picked up a second award for being the best dancer, while Leon Best was said to have the hardest shot, with Ryan Taylor a close second.

What about the longest in the shower I hear you ask? Well, apparently Lovenkrands is in a league of his own.

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