WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-Georgia) sought today to explain his controversial remarks about sexual assaults in the military, telling reporters that his comments were the result of “declining levels of brain function created by nature.”

“There are old men sitting in the United States Senate who are seventy or seventy-five or eighty,” he said. “Gee whiz, the declining levels of brain function created by nature sets in place the possibility for these types of things to occur.”

While acknowledging the controversy that his remarks created, Mr. Chambliss made no apology for them, saying, “It’s always a good thing when a Republican brings up a more nuanced view of rape.”

“If my memory serves, that’s been a winning issue for us in the past,” he said.

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Photograph by Bill Clark/Getty.