Mississippi, North Carolina, and Tennessee all passed horrid anti-LGBT laws recently.

Dear fuckers Mississippi, North Carolina, and Tennessee,

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? Sorry, let me calm down a bit. Are you seriously doing this?

Mississippi, ya’ll passed a bill that allows businesses, and adoption agencies, and doctors, and therapists, to discriminate against not just the LGBT community, but against people who might have had sex before marriage, because why?

BECAUSE WHY?

Because of the Bible? The same Bible that gave us Solomon, he who had wives and concubines? At the same time? The same Bible that gave us permission to rape a virgin, as long as we paid her dad? The same Bible that says tattoos are forbidden, but many of your citizens have tattoos of the Confederate flag on their meaty biceps? You are the poorest fucking state in the union, and you’re going to lose millions of dollars because of this horrorfest, but you don’t care, because White Jesus™ hates the gays.

North Carolina, same question: WHY? What is the big deal with the LGBT community?

Unless two gay men are literally having sex on your LAWN, it’s none of your goddamn business. PayPal has already pulled a rather large expansion out of your state, and they probably won’t be the last, but, just like Mississippi, it’s okay because “the Bible.” Read it again, you dicks. You’re supposed to be Christian, right? Show me where Jesus (the ACTUAL GUY, not the one you made up to justify loving guns and hating gay people) said anything about being LGBT. Honest to God, if it was such a big deal, wouldn’t it be a commandment? Maybe squished between “Thou shalt not commit adultery” and “Thou shalt not covet they neighbor’s wife”?

IT’S NOT THERE YOU JACKOFFS.







Oh, and lest we forget, Tennessee. Home of Stacey Campfield, most famous for his “Don’t Say Gay” monstrosity.

You want to make the Bible the “official book” of your state. For shit’s sake. When did this country founded by a bunch of deists become a theocracy? We are NOT A CHRISTIAN NATION. We are a secular society, where people are free to worship whatever the hell they want, as long as they don’t hurt anyone, or-and this is important-try to shove their beliefs down anyone’s throat. The Bible is not a history book, it’s a book separated into two parts that often contradict each other. Genesis has TWO different versions of creation, and one of them says the moon is a star. It’s not, by the way, it’s a fucking rock.

It’s the 21st century, you twits, but maybe you forget to set your clocks ahead from 1950. The LGBT community is not a threat, or icky, or dangerous, or evil. They are men and women who just want the right to pursue life, liberty, and happiness. They shop (well, probably not in Mississippi or North Carolina any time soon), they go to work, they watch Netflix, they just want to live their lives.

What is so damn scary about that to you? Given how much porn red states consume, one would think you’d have bigger fish to fry than giving businesses, adoption agencies, doctors, and therapists, the right to tell Adam and Steve (HA!), “I hate you, you can’t buy pizza/access a doctor/get mental health treatment here.”

The Bible is a book written by illiterate shepherds, the Old Testament is scary as shit, and if actual Jesus came back today, you’d nail him back up that tree faster than you can say “American ISIS.”

To the citizens of Mississippi, North Carolina, and Tennessee: Voting matters. Perhaps if you hadn’t let right-wing pseudo Christians take over your statehouse, you wouldn’t be in this mess. But you are, and hopefully, you’ve learned something. Your vote has consequences, and in this case, that consequence is angry people, vowing not to drop a single penny into your economy.

Shame on you.