There’s a stereotype about ESL teachers in China that they are dumb losers who just want to drink and play the ‘white guy card’ to get laid. Now most teachers I’ve met are aware of this stereotype and try not to live it up as much, but I did meet one who was truly the worst Laowai and full embodiment of this stereotype.







While traveling Chengdu I met another Laowai during a couch-surfing meetup. Dark brown hair, crooked teeth, baseball cap backwards, a jersey with jeans, and the most loud obnoxious laugh I’ve ever heard, I already had a bad feeing about this guy, and hoped that he wasn’t also American.





To my grave embarrassment for my country I found out while talking to him that not only was he American, but the embodiment of the American Idiot stereotype. He was from “Southern Cal bro”, and used the words “bro, man, dude, right?” in literally every sentence. Found out he had been teaching illegally in Kunming before getting fired for showing up drunk too many times, and now he was looking for another esl job. Despite having been in China for 8 months he only knew the phrases 你好, 谢谢, or how he pronounced it “Knee how and shia shia”.









His mannerisms and lack of a filter was probably the worst thing about him. While talking to locals (both guys and girls) I mentioned how I was thinking about going to Thailand. He immediately blurts in; “Ah dude thailand is fucking awesome man, I mean the babes dude, like yeah Chinese girls are good, but Thai girls are like are like so much fucking hotter, like so much. Like dude listen I’ve fucked a lot of Chinese girls too. Like haha, I mean like dude chinese wives dude are such fucking sluts dude, haha, like they will cheat with any white guy dude, haha like I mean like their husbands have small dicks and you know like Asian guys are feminine. Haha,...” goes on like this for a while.





We (the CS group) proceed to go to a club, unfortunately we couldn’t shake him off the group so he drunkenly follows. While there he aggressively kept on trying to dance and kiss Chinese girls who kept on rejecting him, not in the Chinese princess way, but in the full blown “No stop and go away”. I had to intervene several times and tell him to lay off and go home. Fortunately he did that night.





I could go on and on about this guy, I mistakenly ran into him 2 more times and it was the same story.