Update: Written just for April Fool's Day. The Quakes are still sponsorless, and it appears that will be happening for the foreseeable future.

The San Jose Earthquakes have announced their new kit sponsor! After waiting more than three years, the Quakes will finally have a sponsor to call their own: Burger King.

“This is a historic day for us,” Earthquakes President Dave Kaval said. “With a new sponsor, combined with our new stadium, we feel that we are poised to become one of the greatest clubs in MLS.”

MLS Commish Don Garber echoed Kaval’s remarks. “One of the signs of a great team is a great stadium. The other is a great sponsor. Now they have both.”

Burger King also agreed to provide post-practice meals for players.

Earthquakes head coach Dom Kinnear seemed enthusiastic. “With Burger King as our new sponsor, our players never have to worry about being hungry after a tough practice or match.”

“There’s no substitute for a healthy diet,” said Quakes midfielder Shea Salinas. “I know Burger King puts nothing but the finest ingredients into their food, so I’m thrilled to have them as our sponsor.”

Burger King had been experiencing a dip in sales over the past several years, so sponsoring a major sports team was a “no-brainer” for Burger King Director of Media relations Darius Rucker. “With this opportunity, we will finally be able to get out of the shadow of that freaking clown.”

Quakes fan Ash Williams simply said “Hail to the King, baby.”

I’m looking forward to seeing more of the Whopper at Quakes games, and hopefully seeing a BK open up at Avaya Stadium. Congrats to the Quakes and Burger King!

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