Does he think that his beard is actually the source of his strength? If so, will he one day decide that his constant problems with his knees and back will be solved if he shaves his beard? Will he ever suffer a serious bubblegum mishap in the dugout and be forced to cut a chunk out of his beard? Will he fall for a woman who can't stand all that facial hair and be torn between his full beard and his feelings? Will he give himself a beard-less makeover in an attempt to look younger and therefore feel younger? Will we never know?