ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

“What the fuck is a self-serve check-in kiosk?” she said.

Graeme Chambers grimaced and thought about throwing his bag down and walking away.

She wasn’t helping.

“This is what we get for not flying QANTAS! There should be a nice Australian girl at a desk for us to talk to! Instead, we’re out here like looking like a couple SHAGS ON A ROCK!”

Both Graeme and his wife-of-30-years, Cassowary, were struggling to comprehend the brave new world of air travel today at the Remineko Memorial Airport as they stood by the entrance clutching their travel itinerary – hoping that if they checked it enough times, I’d answer their problems.

“You cheap son-of-a-bitch, Graeme! I’d rather backflip into an empty pool than fly Tiger with you again!”

Our reporter, who was checking in nearby, thought about helping them check into their flight.

But after Graeme explained that they arrived at the airport six hours early, The Advocate decided it’d probably be better off in the long run if they worked it out themselves.

More to come.