Splat! At first he felt the warmth,

And then he smelled the stink.

In shock, he wiped his furry cheek,

Not knowing what to think.

So what the hell was—Splat! Again,

It hit him in the head;

Though what it was, was moist and brown,

Eugene was seeing red.

He turned, but only saw an impish

Female monkey; then,

She coyly reached behind her ass

To fill her hand again.

Right then, he knew that he had better

Keep a closer watch

On this beguiling chimpanzee,

This mischievous beyotch.

Game on, he thought, as he beheld

This female of the species,

Amazed that she could look so good

While pelting him with feces.

He thought, I need to reconnect

With my genetic code—

The part that says it’s fine to use

My hand as a commode.

He knew that throwing poop could be

A sign of deep emotion;

Was this her way of showing him

Affection and devotion?

Perhaps it’s not so much the poop,

As what it symbolized:

Something warm from deep within–

A gift, he theorized.

She smiled and slowly came to him

With all defenses down;

Her eyes bewitched him, glimmering

Like onyx flecked with brown.

He brought his fully loaded hand

From out behind his back,

And shoved it in her face with a

Resounding gooey smack!

They giggled as he helped her wipe

His crap from off her face,

And then they stopped and fell into

A quiet, long embrace.

She flips you shit. You see it as

A sign from up above;

And she accepts the same from you?

Well that, my friends, is love.