Sometimes even well-intended managers act in ways that they’re ashamed of. Why on earth would people violate their own values like this? It often has less to do with a person’s individual flaws and more to do with the culture that these leaders operate in. If you work in an organization with a toxic culture — where hyper-competitiveness, overwork, and inauthenticity are the norm — you’re more likely to feel pressure to compromise your values and blame the dysfunctional company culture for your misbehavior. But you don’t have to necessarily just cope with this toxicity (or look for another job); there are changes you can make on your immediate team. Start by building up your own resilience. Then reach out to people in your circle to repair any relationships that may have been damaged. Together form a coalition where you can articulate shared values and commit to acting according to them. By using your emotional intelligence skills and choosing to act in ways that you can be proud of, you can begin to reform the toxicity that characterizes your organization — or at least not be dragged down by it.

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Sometimes even well-intended managers act in ways that they’re ashamed of. Take Jan, for example. Jan is known for his slightly off-key and mildly insulting humor — it’s even been noted as one of his strengths. He gets the laughs. But he’s told me that he cringes every time he makes a joke at someone else’s expense. He despises the fact that his behavior directly contradicts his personal values. And yet he continues. Then there’s Marty, who is lauded for her ability to pick the “right” person for a job. Deep in her heart, though, Marty is ashamed of herself. She knows that she’s more often than not chosen the “acceptable” person over the right person. And in her organization that means that, at a certain level, it’s a man and he’s white.

Why on earth would people violate their own values like this?

In my experience, it has less to do with a person’s individual flaws (though I do believe that there are far too few really good leaders in our organizations — and far too many who are subpar or downright awful) and more to do with the culture that these leaders operate in.

Culture is an incredibly powerful driver of human thought and behavior. It tells us what’s sacred and profane, right and wrong, good and bad. It provides guardrails that keep us in line and ensure we think, say, and do the right thing. “Right,” that is, according to the tribe we belong to. And today, our organizations are our tribes. They are so important to us, and so powerful, that far too often the rules of our organizational culture overshadow the values and the norms of the other cultures we belong to — national, community, even family. This isn’t necessarily bad, unless the organization we belong to has a toxic culture.

The Power of a Toxic Culture

If you’re wondering whether your organizational culture is unhealthy, here are some of the signs I’ve seen in the companies I’ve studied.

Pressure to cover. The act of “covering” is hiding or downplaying aspects of yourself or your identity to fit in at work. Kenji Yoshino and Christie Smith’s research has shown that covering affects a majority of people in the workplace, and that people attempt to cover everything from being a mother or a person of color to non-macho sensitivity that might be considered un-masculine. Covering has serious and negative effects for the people who feel they can’t bring their full selves to work. More, if there are important values or behaviors that our culture forces us to downplay or abolish altogether — things like respect for other people, a belief in meritocracy and fairness, or compassion — the people who work for us suffer too.

Hyper-competitiveness. Jennifer Berdahl, Peter Glick, and Marianne Cooper have studied what they call “masculinity contests” in companies where norms (for both men and women) revolve around the need to constantly prove one’s prowess, a drive to win, and pressure to put work above all else in life. In these companies, bullies are tolerated — sometimes lauded — and toxic leaders thrive. Sabotage is a common tactic. Illness, burnout, and sexual harassment are prevalent and people don’t feel safe. The constant vigilance, fear, and adrenaline that is required to survive in these companies result in compromised intelligence, poor decision making, and ultimately a hit to the bottom line.

Pressure to overwork. For reasons having to do with our personal psychology (and insecurities), the pressures of high-performance organizations, and our work-in-our-pocket world, many of us can — and do — work from dawn to dusk, even if we work in companies where people and collaboration are valued. A culture of overwork develops insidiously: that extra push on a big project seems logical at the time, and we stay late. Or, a few emails on the weekend slowly turns into a full day of work. Then it happens again and again, and we even wake up in the middle of the night to fret or check our phones. When this is expected at work, we often behave in ways that are antithetical to our values and we get trapped in a cycle of unhappiness, compromised creativity, and lower productivity.

But What Can We Really Do about Culture?

Cultures that force us to compromise our best selves aren’t good for us or for our organizations. But let’s face it: you’re probably not going to be able to single-handedly change the culture of your entire organization. What you can do, however, is to take matters into your own hands to create a resonant microculture where you have the most chances of succeeding: on your team. And while it may be easier to do these things when you are the team leader, it’s not critical that you be in a position of power. Here’s how:

Start with yourself. Because toxic cultures sap our energy and resilience, it’s easy to “forget” to take care of ourselves. So, “put your own oxygen mask on first,” and figure out what you need in order to be most effective — and happy — at work. Which of your values have fallen by the wayside, causing you to feel conflicted about yourself or your company? How’s your health? When was the last time you thought seriously about your future, taking into consideration your career and your life? Reflection of this nature, particularly if you bring others into the conversation, will result in clarity about the kind of climate and environment you want — and need — at work.

Repair relationships. Make a plan to fix work relationships that have soured or are emotionally draining. Because dysfunctional cultures often drive us to behave in ways that harm relationships, it is easy to become that person who constantly complains and criticizes. To improve the culture around you, take control of these situations: take responsibility for your attitude and actions. Try asking yourself, “Have I been too hard on my colleague these past few months?” or “Do people see me as the person to complain to about the boss/project/company? Am I fostering cynicism instead of hope?” Be honest but don’t be too hard on yourself, either.

Then, work through the problems with one or more people in your circle. Take a deep breath, get ready to use your emotional intelligence, and plan a time to talk — preferably outside of work, or at least without a hard stop at the end of your time together. One way to begin this conversation is to talk about yourself — what you’ve been reflecting on, what you want to change, what you hope for at work. Sometimes, an apology is in order. Because your colleague, like you, may not be terribly proud of their part in the relationship, your honesty and vulnerability can set the stage for a productive conversation and changes on both sides.

Form a coalition. Once you’ve done the ground work, it’s time to agree to make lasting changes to your team culture. With one or two others (possibly including your boss), plan a series of meetings where people have an opportunity to talk about what’s important to them at work, what they want and need. Take deliberate steps to articulate shared values as well as shared rules of engagement to guide everyone’s behavior. Codify this, if you like, in a team code of conduct. Remember, though, that as you begin to live your new culture, things won’t change overnight. Old habits die hard, and the pressure of your broader company culture is still very real. So, while you hold yourselves accountable for building your resonant microculture, you’ll also need to be patient, supportive, and ready to forgive yourself and others.

It’s all too easy to blame a dysfunctional company culture for our misbehavior. But you don’t have to be subject to the toxicity that characterizes your organization. You can do something about it by using your emotional intelligence skills and choosing to act in ways that you can be proud of.