Diversity Fail: Admissions Statistics Show That More Than 90% Of Harvard’s Incoming Freshman Class Is Made Up Of Nerds

Harvard has made small strides on some measures of diversity in recent years, but there are still certain arenas in which the university is sorely lacking. Case in point: Admissions statistics reveal that more than 90% of Harvard’s incoming freshman class is made up of nerds.

Yikes. Looks like Harvard still has a long way to go towards establishing a truly diverse student body.

Newly released data on the makeup of Harvard’s 2019 freshman class shows that 92% of the students admitted are inhaler-huffing poindexters who are obsessed with lame shit like solving math problems and dressing like nerds. Awesome popular kids who are always smoking cigarettes and getting to third base represent only a tiny fraction of the students accepted this year, which sadly comes as no surprise, as in recent years, calculator-humping science wieners have been nearly 10 times more likely to be admitted into the university than their more badass peers.

Historically, Harvard has disproportionately opened its doors to scoliotic dorks with zero social skills, going all the way back to its founding in 1636 by wet-blanket Puritans who were more interested in writing poems about God or whatever than joining their much cooler brethren in all the fun-ass wars happening at the time. While Harvard has made modest efforts over the past decade to diversify its student body in response to mounting pressure to do so, the Ivy League institution still overwhelmingly favors total fucking goobers who’d rather play intramural Quidditch and spaz out on their computers than get laid. The university certainly has it in their power to make their campus more representative of students who know how to party and don’t give a fuck about anything but having a good time, but the data makes it clear that the admissions office’s commitment remains primarily to buck-toothed acne goblins whose closest experiences to genuine human friendship are one-on-one study sessions with SAT tutors and exchanging lame-ass memes with Guy Fawkes avatars on libertarian message boards.

Just shameful.

It’s obvious that Harvard has some major blind spots when it comes to diversity that need to be addressed STAT. Here’s hoping the school makes some serious changes to its admissions process so that we see much fewer nerds on campus in the future.