The good news is that our recurring "oh god the lifeboat is full of vaginas" nightmares are not even remotely based on truth. A study by Uppsala University in Sweden that looked at a century's worth of maritime disasters found that men are twice as likely to survive shipwrecks as women, while children had the lousiest survival rate of all.

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Sorry, kid.

Turns out that the "women and children first" protocol is little more than a myth that arose mostly because of the fame of the Titanic disaster, in which more women did survive than men. Afterward, the British media pushed the Titanic narrative, possibly as a way of arguing against female suffrage: after all, if men were already so protective of women that they'd voluntarily die in the cold-ass ocean for them, why couldn't men be trusted to keep women's interests in mind when they vote too?

But can men really put their lives in the hands of those statistics? Let's say you're on a sinking ship and all the other passengers turn out to be members of the Chivalric Reenactment Society holding their annual Titanic costume party: what do you do then? Well, here's a second piece of good news: you don't have to go on a ship at all. The ocean is now criss-crossed on a regular basis by giant machines that can simply fly through the air without touching the water. And unlike maritime disasters, these machines tend to go down in giant fireballs that pay no attention to gender, so we can all rest easy about long-distance travel now.