The Daily Show host Jon Stewart was surprised to learn Tuesday night that China — not the United States — was the winner of the Iraq war.

“Don’t you have to be in a war to win it?” he wondered. “China, you’ve already beaten us in synchronized drumming, bear cuteness, air chewability, and you’ve got to take this from us too? How?”

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It turns out that China is now Iraq’s biggest customer, purchasing half of the country’s oil production. China spent $2 billion and sent hundreds of workers into Iraq to ensure their dominance over the oil market.

“When we were in Iraq we’d spend $2 billion just looking for the other $9 billion we lost,” Stewart remarked.

Ironically, China had opposed the U.S. invasion of Iraq and even attempted to arm Saddam Hussein’s regime.

“They do everything they can to hurt us and we still end up helping them. It’s like if Bank of America was a country.”

Watch video, via Mediaite, below: