The best and worst of week three – also featuring: viral clips, VAR abuse, and the reason economies crash

Quote of the week

Diego Maradona – Fifa’s £10,000-a-day goodwill ambassador, keeping his profile high. His message last week after his “white wine” health scare: “My neck hurt, I had a faint, but I’m fine. I send a kiss to everyone.”

• Fifa’s view on Diego’s PR work so far, including his “slant-eyed gesture” at South Korea fans: “We’re aware [of the incidents]. We expect everyone to behave in a respectful manner… but having stars like Diego working with us is part of a much bigger picture.”

• His previous best moment as goodwill ambassador: February 2017 - meeting the press for the first time since being unveiled, then denying he hit a reporter who asked him a question: “I didn’t hit. If I hit you, you wouldn’t have a nose left. One on one, I’d destroy you.”

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Sepp Blatter – full of praise for his Russia minibreak host, disgraced former 2018 bid leader Vitaly Mutko: “Vitaly is my friend! Yes he’s had some misunderstandings with the IOC but I’m sure they will be resolved soon. Listen, Mutko is the architect of this World Cup. Russia has done everything right.”

• Backing that view – Gianni Infantino, talking up the World Cup’s value as a tool for laundering reputations. “This World Cup is changing the perception of Russia, particularly from us in the West. It’s a warm country, a welcoming country. It’s a party for the world!”

And the sharpest reflex

World Cup head Alexei Sorokin – reflecting on a fortnight featuring multiple cases of men sexually harassing female TV reporters physically and verbally on camera. “I am unaware of any cases of sexual harassment. As far as I know, there’s no serious problem with this.”

Dramatist of the week

Neymar – delivering a six-turn roll against Serbia. Mexico captain Andrés Guardado: “He likes to drop on the floor a lot. He likes to exaggerate fouls. But look, it’s not up to me to judge.”

Longest journey

Germany – forced to travel back to the airport in their team bus branded: “Zusammen. Geschichte schreiben/Let’s write history together”. Official bus slogan sponsor Hyundai unveiled the branding in May: “This slogan really captures the unity and cohesion of this German team.”

Insight of the week

These pre-tournament predictions from major financial institutions:

a) Commerzbank – showcasing their financial analysis and data modelling tools last month, running “10,000 stochastic simulations” to reveal Germany as clear 2018 World Cup winners.

b) Goldman Sachs – using “data mining, machine learning and econometrics” in 1,000,000 simulations to tip Germany as finalists and Saudi Arabia as the surprise package.

c) Danske Bank – analysing “thousands of data simulations while factoring in economic variables”, also putting Germany in the final.

And d) UBS – showing off the “econometric tools used by the UBS wealth-management arm to pick stocks for clients” by running a “calibrated statistical model” featuring “a Monte Carlo simulation to draw in random variables, instead of just mapping out all the different constellations”. UBS said “applying the tools and insights from our investment process and relying on a quantitative framework” produced “a model with a high degree of accuracy”. Their conclusion, reached via “10,000 virtual tournaments”: Germany will win the final, “after an easy start”.

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Chat of the week

Portugal’s president Rebelo De Sousa, small‑talking with Donald Trump on camera in Washington: “You know, he’s the best player in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo.” Trump: “Yes, yes, they say he is the greatest ... So, will Christian [sic] ever run for President against you? He wouldn’t win. You know he wouldn’t.” De Sousa: “Mr President, you know, something I must tell you. Portugal is not the United States. It’s a little different.”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest ‘They say he’s the greatest’. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

Move of the week

Michy Batshuayi’s ball-to-post-to-head celebration. Teammate @axelwitsel28 provided some reassurance.

Axel Witsel (@axelwitsel28) Guys it's all good between them 🙏🏽 pic.twitter.com/1fLdTTc1eE

• Also being shared last week: Senegal’s Idrissa Gueye defending his near post by leaning on it, hand on hip, and watching the ball fly past him into the net; Nordin Amrabat assessing the “bullshit” qualities of VAR on camera; Cristiano Ronaldo channelling a key influencer; and Caracol TV commentator Javier Fernández, delivering a 22-second unbroken “Gol!”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Javier Fernández, Caracol TV.

David Squires on … World Cup cliques, Germany going home and group chat Read more

Colour of the week

From co-commentary’s Ally McCoist: “Kazan has come a long way since it fell to Ivan the Terrible in 1552. It’s unbelievable, Jon. If you put me in a corner and nailed me, it’s probably my favourite place on the trip so far, Kazan. Just some stunning, stunning, architecture Jon, I’ve got to tell you.”

Best understanding

Colombia fan César Daza – filmed helping blind and deaf friend José Richard Gallego follow their 3-0 win against Poland by holding his hands over a cardboard pitch to describe play. Daza: “We have gestures for cards, corners, throws. We just reached an understanding.”

And best homecoming

Iceland coach Heimir Hallgrimsson, back home in Vestmannaeyjar on the island of Heimaey, pictured working as a volunteer ref at an under-10s tournament. Organisers: “We didn’t ask him to come. He just really wanted to.”