My forever true-believing, born-again-JW mother just sent this to my daughter. I love how this is saying "Jehovah please murder 6 billion humans so I can be happy." Remember, folks: things are worse than they ever have been in the entire span of recorded human history, and you can't possibly hope to endure. And if you forget the JWs will remind you of it relentlessly at every opportunity. So be sad. And don't try to solve any of your problems by yourself, you independently-thinking goat, just whine and cry in prayer and wait for your invisible sky-daddy to wave his majick wand of omnipotence and fix everything for you so you can be a drooling post-apocalyptic eloi living forever in mindless sheepitude.

No, I am not having a bad day. Why are you asking me that?

I, Jehovah, Am Your FriendI dreamed that I prayed to Jehovah on high

Complained of my troubles and started to cry.

I said to Jehovah, I can't take it anymore!

Please bring it real soon, your great day of war!

I endure every day at the end of my rope,

I just do not see anyway I can cope.

I face constant pressure each day without doubt.

With all of my problems there's just no way out.

He patiently listened as if on bended knee,

I griped and complained about what bothered me.

His loving concern as I emptied my head

Made me feel so secure in his love when He said:

I understand just what you're going through,

This time of the end makes it harder for you.

But you see, I too have been waiting so long,

And I must make sure my people are strong.

Since the very first couple, Adam and Eve,

My heart many times had been made to grieve.

Though I sent my son down to earth just to die,

Most people rejected what his life could buy.

I've been pushed aside by all those I love

For other false gods they have put high above.

They even say I don't exist or am dead,

That life just evolved from the monkey instead.

I surely don't want you to suffer or cry,

I'll give you my strength on which to rely.

You need to endure but please do not doubt,

If it gets too tough, I will provide the way out.

The new world is near so endure to the end,

For I am Jehovah and I am your friend.

The life that's ahead is worth oh so much more

You'll take such delight in what I have in store.

Just think what it will be like in paradise,

Why even the dead from the tombs will arise!

You'll feel so much better and have joy each day,

Your memories of troubles will soon pass away.

These promises given will surely come true,

And it won't be long before all becomes new.

So please be determined endure to the end,

For I am Jehovah your savior your friend.



~Author Unknown~