And police suspect

fowl play...



A BOMB SCARE was defused when police discovered a bag dumped in their waiting room contained nothing more than a chicken.

The live cockerel poked its head out when police saw the holdall move and pulled back the zip.

Earlier last Friday night, a man had run into Basingstoke police station and left the bag on the front desk.

"He shouted something like 'Here's one for the Bill' and ran out again." said Acting inspector Graham Apps.

"Then for the next two hours a chap kept ringing up doing a bad impression of a chicken. We've no idea what it was all about."

The cockerel has now being taken to an animal sanctuary in Overton.





Frying tonite: hedgehog's close shave



A HEDGEHOG was celebrating its freedom this week after a reported narrow escape from the frying pan.

Police were called to the spine-raising scene in Fabian Close, off Basingstoke's Penrith Road in the early hours of Tuesday.

Tenant David McGlashan rang officers to say a Chinese man living in the same house had brought a hedgehog home, and was trying to fry the animal up on the kitchen stove.

"There was also loud rock and roll music coming from the house as well," said Pc Martin Foster of Basingstoke police, who attended the scene.

"Mr McGlashan said the other man had been trying to fry this hedgehog," he added.

"but we found the Chinese chap in his room reading a newspaper, and the hedgehog downstairs in a box in the lounge."

As he couldn't speak a word of English, Pc Foster and his colleague Pc Peter Colt had to contact the police's own language service, based in London.

"Within a few minutes we were put through to a Cantonese intepreter, who spoke to this chap for about five minutes.

"Through the interpreter, the man accused Mr McGlashan of trying to stab the animal, which he had found on the doorstep.

"the Chinese man also said it was the other chap who was playing loud music."

Police never really got to the bottom of the thorny tale, but released the long-suffering hedgehog into a nearby field, and will not press charges.

But Insp Geoff Hallett, of Basingstoke police, warned: "It would obviously have been an offence if the animal had been cooked.

"And the police will deal with incidents of cruelty to animals most severely."



Rehabilitation orders for public sex act pair





A SHAME_FACED couple who performed a drunken sex act in Basingstoke town centre in broad daylight were given rehabilitation orders - and a good telling off - by a crown court judge.

Ms.A , 38, admitted the outrage to public decency charge in performing oral sex on Mr. B, 32, on a bench outside Cafe Rouge, at 4.30pm on September 30 - in full view of old ladies and horrified office workers. Mr. B also pleaded guilty to the charge of outrage to public decency.

Ms. A, of Linchfield Road, Worth Camp, Farnborough, who had been thrown out of Cafe Rouge for drunken behaviour along with some of her friends, was sitting on the bench when Mr. B joined her and she performed the act twice.

Prosecutor Andy Houston said: "Someone who worked in a nearby business premises was so disgusted that she went to tell her workmates and a number went to see what was happening."

He added: "A member of the public said there were mothers with very young children walking by."

When he was arrested, Mr. B, previously of Abbey Road, Popley, Basingstoke, but who is currently homeless, made references to women finding him irresistible.

At Winchester Crown Court he apologised and denied that there were mothers and children around during the incident.

"I'm ashamed about what I have done, and I'm embarrassed," he said. "I never meant it to happen and I had had too much to drink. I have a daughter and I wouldn't want her to see something like that."

Judge Patrick Hooton, sentencing him to an 18-month community rehabilitation order, said: "I don't think that anyone who contemplated doing this in public would think about whether young children were present.

"You had better sort yourself out."

He sentenced Ms. A, who claimed she was so drunk she did not remember what happened, to a 12-month community rehabilitation order





Car smashes into house



By Vicky O'Hare





(photo from BBC News)



A COUPLE had a miraculous escape after a car ploughed into the first floor of their house- just feet from where they were sleeping.

Joe and Joyce Harman of Rainbow Close were in bed on Wednesday night when the car swerved off London Road, flipped into the air and crashed through the wall of their study.

The high-powered BMW smashed throiugh the house's brickwork - leaving a gaping hole - before falling into the couple's front garden and catching fire.

Luckily Mr and Mrs Harman were in the bedroom next door when the bizarre accident happened just before midnight. They were both shocked but unhurt.

However two people who were in the car were yesterday in a critical condition in Basingstoke hospirtal.

Describing the drama, retired school-teacher Mr Harman, 65 said: "When I first saw hat had happened ny reaction was, 'Oh my God what shall I do?' The flames in the car wre getting bigger and bigger and I just had to do something."[...]

Once outside they saw that the driver had managed to climb out of the car through the passenger window, Mr Harman said:"I asked him if there was anyone else in the car. He said yes, so my wife and I just ran into the kitchen to get buckets of water.

"I really didn't think much about my safety - Iwas just on autopilot. The hose was trapped under the car so we had to make do with buckets. [...]

Mrs Harman who is 62 and works in Husseys Bakery, in W"ote Street, Basingstoke said: "I asked the emergency services if we should try and put the fire out, but they said no in case the car exploded.

"But we couldn't let a man die in a burning car."





DEBT MANS PLEA: 'TAKE MY LEG'



AMPUTEE Mark Durling had a bizarre request for bailiffs when they turned up to collect a debt - he begged them to take his artificial leg.

The collectors were met with the astonishing payment plea after they called at the 33-year-old's Linden Avenue home in Old Basing.

But Mark, who lost his leg in a motorcycle accident in 1981, was dismayed when his offer of his spare artificial limb was refused and the bailiffs instead took away a computer.

Today, Mark accused the bailiffs of going over the top by taking the machine which he claims was worth £3,000.

He was upset because he said he had stored unpatented limb designs on the computer which was purchased with a grant from the Prince of Wales' charity the Prince's Youth Business Trust.

He said it also contained vital information for campaigners to get a better deal for amputees.

Mark said: "I had my 15 month old son in my arms when they turned up and took my computer.

"I offered them some of the money and the printer. I even offered them my spare artificial leg but they would only take the computer.

"I am no angel but I have tried to do my best for people who are faced with amputation and the computer is vital for my work."

The computer has now been returned on payment of the £30 debt - which was the unpaid part of a court penalty for failure to display car tax - and also a collection fee of more than £100.



Serious



Bob Close, a member of the finance department at North Hants magistrates courts, said the company would only be used if a defendant failed to answer a summons and pay the court.

Superintendent Allyn Thomas of Basingstoke Police, said the non-display of car tax is a serious matter.

He said: "Car tax represents a substantial source of income for the Government in terms of road construction programmes and road improvements.

"We take a dim view of people who drive around without tax."







HONEYMOONERS' NIGHT IN THE CELLS



A COUPLE spent their wedding night behind bars on Friday after allegedly brawling their way around Basingstoke.

Hundreds of stunned Christmas guests at the Ringway Hotel are said to have watched the screaming newly-weds attack staff in the reception area.

And later the twosome were said to have thrown pool balls at regulars in an Oakridge pub.

The couple even left their marriage certificate crumpled and bloodstained on the pub carpet.

The celebrations started after the Basingstoke couple were married at the Register Office in the centre of town on Friday morning.

After a few drinks with another couple at the Great Western pub in Vyne Road, the bride from South Ham, and the groom, from Oakridge, went to the Ringway Hotel at 4pm, where they had a room.

"They looked awful," said one member of staff. "she was wearing a leopard-skin print dress and had peroxide hair up in a bobble. His suit was all crumpled and he had a pony-tail."

The lovebirds-he's an unemployed builder contractor and she's an electrical assembler-spent a couple of hours in their room and the trouble began in the packed downstairs bar.

"All I know is that the woman hit our duty manageress in the face and mouth". Said Lucy Hiorns, the hotel's head of personnel.

"And the groom took a swing at our bar manager. A lot of people got involved trying to stop it. There was blood all over the toilets. The duty manageress was left with a swollen face."

The newly-weds fled before the police arrived and joined another couple at the Soldier's Return pub in Upper Sherborne Road.

After a round of drinks at the friendly Oakridge local the honeymooners started abusing regulars playing pool said landlady Brenda Coventry, 59.

When the licensee told the unruly pair to leave, she said she was greeted with a volley of pool balls. She was hit once on the head, as was regular Nick Chubb, 29.

"Luckily my regulars came to my defence." Said Mrs Coventry.

It was the first time in 30 years of the pub trade that she had ever been attacked.

"I had a bump on my head and a splitting headache." She said.

After X-rays at Basingstoke hospital, Mrs Coventry and Mr Chubb were assured they had suffered no damage to their skulls.

Police caught up with the honeymooners outside the pub.



Separate



The drunken lovebirds then spent their wedding night in separate cells at Aldershot police station.

"We don't have any double cells with four poster beds yet," joked one police officer.

They were released on police bail on Saturday afternoon and may face assault charges.







Rat's in peace



FIREFIGHTERS called to a blaze in woods near Taverners Close, Norn Hill, Basingstoke found a man cremating his pet rat.





Death of pet rat hits the national news



When Miranda Wright's pet rat died she shed a tear - but didn't expect to make the national newspapers.

Unfortunately, she decided to cremate the deceased - named Nausea - rather than bury him. And the resulting blaze caught the attention of vigilant passers by.

The fire brigade was alerted and arrived to find the funeral in full swing.

A report appeared on the front page of the Gazette, then in the pages of the Sun newspaper.

Miranda said that the pet had been part of her life for four years.

"We decided to cremate her in the woods because we live in the flats and don't have a garden. We didn't want to bury her because the foxes might dig her up." she said

We had her nearly four years. I was quite upset about it. But then I saw it in the paper and I had a chuckle about it." she said.







Crematorium badly damaged in blaze



by Elizabeth Roberts



BASINGSTOKE Crematorium was badly damaged in a serious fire that required emergency services to be drafted in from across north Hampshire.

Fifty firefighters were involved in the effort to tackle the fire, which broke out on Wednesday evening in the roof above the cremators.

"We had problems with water supplies as there is no hydrant at the crematorium, so we used the pond at the front of the building," said Station Officer Coates, who added that firefighters had removed empty caskets and coffins to ensure they were not damaged.

Station Officer Rob Furniss, of the Fire Investigation Unit ...said: "There is nothing suspicious. I think that the fire is related to the fact that it's a crematorium..."

Natasha Rees, corporate communications co-ordinator for Dignity Funerals, said all of the cremations on Wednesday had been completed before the incident occurred, and no coffins or caskets were damaged in the blaze.





Trainspotters searched



THREE trainspotters got a surprise when they were stopped and searched by police at Basingstoke railway station under legislation aimed to target possible terrorists.

Michael Fidoe, 57, was one of three rail enthusiasts searched by officers at Basingstoke station on April 4.

He had been sitting on the platform for two hours when a pair of police officers approached, asked who he was and what he was doing and then searched his bag, citing Section 44 of the Terrorism Act 2000. ...

"I do not mind being asked what I am doing, but getting a ticket is a bit much," said Mr Fidoe, who had travelled to Basingstoke from his home in Drybrook, Gloucestershire to watch the trains. ...

"I am a bit upset about the wording of the ticket. It says loitering, which to me means something more sinister than sitting, watching trains."

Kory Thorne, acting chief inspector at Basingstoke police station, said the officers were entitled to stop and search the men.

"The officers were curious as to what the men were doing as they had been there a while without boarding a train," ...





From:







[Trouser Snake]



An unexpected punchline! The JOKE that got a man banned for life from a Hilton Hotel



A practical joker has been banned from a Hilton Hotel for life after leaving an 'abusive' joke on its online booking system.

Software consultant Jason Payne said he never expected the tasteless comment to be seen by staff, after responding that he had a 'large snake in his trousers' to a question about pets.

He said it was the only pet he had, adding 'hope that's OK'.

Mr Payne, 35, said he was surprised when the receptionist at the Hilton Hotel in Basingstoke starting laughing when he checked in on February 8, as he hadn't expected his comment to be read.

'The woman at the reception just suddenly burst out laughing hysterically and appeared very amused,' he said.

'I had no idea why and then she read the comment to me ... Her colleague then also laughed.'

However, Payne, who was staying at the hotel for the night for a friend's birthday, received an email days later, banning him for life from staying at the hotel.

In her correspondence, Cathrin Wurst, the hotel's front manager, said staff had been put in an 'uncomfortable situation', and said the hotel was unwilling to accept 'abusive language'. Banned for life: The email sent to Jason Payne from the Hilton Hotel, calling his comment 'abusive'

The email added: 'After your recent stay with us here at the Hilton Basingstoke Hotel, I am sending you this email in regards to comments found on the booking.

'As an employer, we are not willing to accept that our team members are ever put in an uncomfortable situation, due to the abusive language a guest uses talking to them, writing to them or even on the booking form they fill in online.

'As you will understand, the booking comment made on your booking: "There's a large trouser snake in my trousers. Hope that's OK" is neither appropriate when making a hotel booking, nor is it funny.[...]

The Hilton Hotel in Basingstoke has banned Jason Payne for life[...]

The statement added: 'Hilton Basingstoke continues to operate a legitimate pet-friendly policy, and the guest is welcome to check in at the many other properties in the Hilton Worldwide portfolio.'



From:



Top Gear

What to do if you get chased in Basingstoke's shopping centre by baddies in a Corvette.

Brilliant Stuff!

You'll need the QuickTime plugin (free download at www.apple.com) to watch this clip





From:

Meridian TV



Basingstoke

Pilgrimage

You'll need the QuickTime plugin (free download at www.apple.com) to watch this clip, which is originally from Pete Shaw's Ben Silverstone site, where you can also find loads of great trip reports made by the pilgrims.(N.B. clip size is 2.1MB . . . you have been warned)





From the

Basingstoke Observer



Fans cross the globe to visit movie mecca

5,000 mile pilgrimage to Basingstoke



FILM fans from as far away as America are making a pilgrimage to Britain to visit their favourite movie mecca - Basingstoke.

For die-hard fans of the film Get Real, Hollywood holds no attraction compared to the glamour of locations such as War Memorial Park, The Vyne School and the Top of Town.

Movie Lovers from the US and Europe will be treated to a private screening of the 1988 film, followed by a coach tour that will take in key locations. Organiser Pete Shaw is expecting up to a hundred people to come on the pilgrimage this Saturday, which will raise funds for a gay and lesbian charity, Freedom Youth.

Two of the most far-flung fans who will make the trip are Keith Elliot, from Gadsden, Alabama, who will be travelling over 4,000 miles, and Rodrigo Perez, a computer scientist from Salt Lake City in Utah - almost 5,000 miles away from Basingstoke.

"The pilgrimage stems from a website which I started," said Pete, who works in Basingstoke. "there was an idea on the website for a few of us to get together for a drink and it kind of snowballed. It was decided that having got people together we should raise some money for Freedom Youth."

The pilgrims will view the film at the Anvil, then take a coach tour of sites around Basingstoke featured in the film, including The Vyne School, the Top of Town and War Memorial Park.

Anne Jackson, film liaison officer at Basingstoke and Deane Borough Council, told the Observer: " get Real is something that has touched the hearts of many people. Basingstoke was portrayed so beautifully in the film that people from all over the world want to come here."

The film tells the story of two young gay men growing up in a small town that doesn't understand them.

Originally a stage play, writer Patrick Wilde set Get Real in Basingstoke because he thought it "typified suburbia".







Terrorism fear over toy planes

Villagers unite to shoot down model aircraft site on farmland

Exclusive by Warren Wilkins

A F R I G H T E N E D villager objected to plans to transform Basingstoke farmland into a model plan landing strip because he feared the tiny aircraft could be used in a terrorist attack.

The terrorism fear was one of more than 70 objections aimed by locals at shooting down the plans by Aldershot Model Club to have their own airstrip at Manor farm, Upton Grey, Basingstoke.

The unnamed villager claimed a 'demented' person could use or prepare a model aircraft for terrorist purposes.





From 'The Pennsylvania Gazette' (USA, 1797)



The wife of Mr. Hussey, hair dresser, in Basingstoke, was lately brought to be of her 20th child, all by one husband; fifteen were boys. Mr. Hussey is related to the member for Salisbury, and is in his humble profession as honest and industrious as his namesake and relation. - Though only one of them is a barber, yet both are occasionally good shavers. - Mr. William Hussey sometimes performing the close-cutting art with much adroitness upon Messrs. Pitt, Dundas, &c. whilst the man of Basingstoke, with more placid temper, though no less keen his purpose, or less sharp his inclinations, smoothes the chin of his customers, and with his help-mate patriotically gives subjects to the state.





from the

Sun

40st woman in toilet 14 hours

FIREMEN ripped apart a flat yesterday to rescue a 40-stone mum stuck in her loo for FOURTEEN hours. Caroline Comer, who is in her 50s, got trapped after she went to spend a penny at midnight. A shocked relative found her at 10am and rang 999. Paramedics unable to budge her called the fire brigade, who brought in power tools, hammers and chisels. It took four more hours for 15 firefighters to cut away the toilet door, its frame and an interior window to reach the woman. The rescuers then battled to stretcher her down a flight of stairs and out on to a first-floor balcony. At 2pm she was finally winched to the ground in Basingstoke, Hants, using a CRANE and PULLEYS. The woman was loaded into an ambulance which took her to hospital - where firemen who followed had to lift her out again. Last night she was in intensive care. Fire service spokesman Mark Jones said of the rescue: "It was quite a job. There was a lot of huffing and puffing from the men involved." A witness said: "The firemen were cutting away doors, windows - the whole of the inside of her home."





from the

Mirror

Porn shock for X-word fan Jack, 89

A great-grandad was left shaken after he was bombarded with porn when he looked for help with a crossword clue on the internet. Retired engineer Jack Sedgewick, 89, typed "Wild Asian ass (6)" into a search engine and was given links to dozens of images of naked women. Jack, from [Roman Road] Basingstoke, Hants, clicked through a number of sites trying to find the answer but was stunned at the results. He said: "I have been left shaken by the whole experience. I did not even know this sort of stuff existed." Jack, who was at home with wife Hilda, 86, finally found the answer, "onager", by changing his search to "donkey sanctuaries".





from the

Grauniad

Pickled chameleon fumes spark 999 call

Firefighters in chemical protective clothing sent to help clear up broken jar of chameleon in formaldehyde A fire brigade sent 18 officers, three engines and a specialist equipment unit to clean up a broken jar containing a pickled chameleon in formaldehyde.



Hampshire fire and rescue service swung into action after receiving a 999 call when the jar fell off a shelf and smashed at a house in Basingstoke, Hampshire, last night. The owners tried to clean it up but were overcome by fumes and called the emergency services.



Firefighters wearing special chemical protective clothing entered the house and dealt with the spillage by washing it down in the garden. A spokeswoman for the service said formaldehyde could be an irritant and the use of so many firefighters and engines was pre-determined when a hazardous chemical call was made.



"At the point we were called, we did not know what we were dealing with," she explained.





from the

Daily Telegraph

Residents to keep lid on a snake...

People living in an apartment block in Basingstoke, in the south west of England have been warned to keep their toilet seats down in case a seven-foot-long boa constrictor appears. The snake, called Cashmere, vanished after burglars broke into a flat and the snake fled down the toilet in terror.



Andrew Paice, the snake's owner, has told the 300 residents that the hungry snake could have escaped into the flats' network of pipes. Keep your toilet seats down just in case you want to get nibbled from behind whilst attending to your business...







from the





BASINGSTOKE FRIDAY MAY 17, 1957



SHERBORNE ST. JOHN MAN'S UNUSUAL WILL



"Not Written For Amusement"

PUBLISHED yesterday was the extraordinary will of Norman John Mead whose home was "Emang," Sherborne St. John and who lost his life in a car accident in Bahrain on the Persian Gulf on February 10 last year.

By the will which is dated February 4, 1953, he desired that his body be cremated at Southampton and the ashes placed in the nearest dustbin.

He left all or such o his books etc., as dealt with his studies to be or resulted from his being a chartered accountant to William John Lawrence (Aycliffe Buildings, New Street, Basingstoke)

Mr. Lawrence was named executor with Mr B.W. Chapole of Lloyds Bank Basingstoke and Mr. Meads brother, G. E. Mead and the three have been granted probate.

Mr. Mead left £502 gross, £120 net and made some amazing directions about it. "to such of my nephews as are living at my death(cheerful thought)," he wrote, "£50 each with the wish that they blow the lot as they please."

He left £20 each to the executors, £25 to his grandchildren and several other specific bequests, and "the residue to one person and the very best of luck to the others." Such person to be one of his brothers or sisters, Edward A Mead, Minnie G Thatcher, George E. Mead, Arthur F. Mead and Gwendoline E. Mead.

'THROW SET OF DICE'

"For the residue," he explained, "my five brothers and sisters will throw a set of dice (new unused and provided by the executors). The throw will be on a baize card table, and any that fall off to be left off, not to count and not to be re-thrown. The first to throw will have three throws but if he or she choose, he or she may declare after the first or second throw and thus restrict all the others to his number of throws.

"The first throw will be decided by the five members each having a dice with aces up and kings toward them, and on the instructions of the executors flicking the dice away from them by the usual method of spinning contrary to its line.

"The highest point settles: if two or more tie for highest place these will throw as above, if these again tie, throw as above and so on.

"If one of the school inadvertently causes his dice to fall off the table he forfeits his chance of securing his throw. The person with the highest throw takes the residue.

"The order of scoring:- Five of a kind, fours, full house, highest straight, lowest straight, threes and twos and two pairs.

"In the case of arbitration or referee the executors are to appoint Hector Mann of Mill House Club, near Reading (one of my clubs), and if he comes, he is to receive £10.



'£50 SLAP UP'

"The fortunate winner (if the residue is of any appreciable consequence) is asked to give the members of the White House Club, Basingstoke (really I should say the Kempshott Country Club) a £50 slap up as soon as possible after my death. No invitations to members, just those fortunate enough to be there or those in the know.

"The residue is requested to be used for the bona fide use of the winner.

I am not writing this for amusement and do not wish my intentions to be flouted, but in the event of any of the school not wishing to partake they forfeit and all the better for those not squeamish.

"If possible I wish for the throw of the dice to take place on the day of my funeral, drinks and food to be supplied. Death is merely a case of ashes to ashes and dust to dust"

We understand that the family are to obtain a counsel's opinion whether they need to carry out literally the unusual terms of the will.

It could not be carried out exactly as Mr. Mead directed, in any case because it has now been revealed that he did not leave enough to cover the bequests.

Educated at Portsmouth Grammar School, Mr. Mead was a Captain of the Queen Bays during the war. He entered a firm of Basingstoke accountants after the war and later moved to a London firm. In 1952 he passed his accountancy examinations with honours.

A keen horseman and yachtsman, he was well know and liked in the district. While at Sherborne he was a member of the Church Council and of the British Legion.



