I just got finished watching (and re-watching, and re-watching, and re-watching) a “minute physics” video on special relativity. It took me about seventeen thousand re-watches to understand it, not least because a.) I’m an idiot when it comes to science, and b.) he talks way too quickly! I’m still thinking about what he just finished saying, and already I’ve missed three things! To make myself feel better afterward, I watched their video on Schrodinger’s Cat since I already understand it. Now, I generally dislike Schrodinger’s Cat, because as a thought experiment, it is rather misleading, but right now it’s helping me a lot not to freak out.

Why?

NANOWRIMO IS ALMOST HERE. Oh god, what was I thinking. So I figure if I refuse to think about the fact that it is almost November 1, it won’t be. Because you need to acknowledge something in order for it to be true. (Which is why I hate this thought experiment, because it’s selfish and also very untrue. Except that that kills my whole let’s-not-think-about-this routine, as does this blog post…. crap!) And I refuse to acknowledge the passage of time and my own lack of progress!

Anyway, I have a lot of plotting yet to do. I have been settling for world-building, though. I took the easy way out and have been using name generators and such for my locations, since I came up with exactly two on my own and hit a brick wall, but I need something. ANd even if I change the names later, I need a fleshed out world to fiddle around in. And by fiddle around in, I mean make up crap at the last second because I failed to plan properly. This thing is going south quickly. Is it going south? I don’t know!

This all leads to a very annoying internal debate: Is this bad? It is bad! No, it’s not bad yet! But it should be, shouldn’t it? Aren’t I teaching myself that bad is okay? Can I do that if it’s not bad? But I don’t want to be bad!

I need to stop thinking about this.

Anyway, it snowed this weekend. It’s not even November yet. We around four inches, but it has mostly melted away. I hope this doesn’t mean I’ll have to warm up my car, or scrape ice away. I also didn’t travel anywhere. I don’t know if it makes me a terrible friend, but between the snow and my mother’s birthday, it didn’t seem like a great idea, and I’m kind of glad I didn’t end up going.

There’s not much else of note in my life, except the ensuing panic that the onset of nanowrimo inevitably inspires in lazy planners like myself. I have updated my resume, and am sending it to a friend to hopefully get an in for a better job. Also, I got a brochure in the mail from a local university about a “non-traditional students week.” Maybe it’s a sign? I might go and ask around. The school in question has both an education program and a library sciences program, and I need to do something less soul-crushing. In the mean time, another week of filing hell, student loans, and miscellaneous bills I can barely afford.