Everyone will tell you "Write what you know," but if I could add one qualifier to the end of that adage, it would definitely be "unless you're playing a drinking/writing game by yourself that hinges on your own ignorance, in which case, never do that first thing I said." As far as I know, the attribution for the original quotation has been lost to history, so from here on out I think we can all just agree to start using mine instead, for clarity's sake.

Last year on the Fourth of July, I invented a drinking game that allowed me to finish a column while simultaneously celebrating my country's independence. Like all drinking games, the rules were simple: I wrote about a topic I liked enough that it would keep me from wandering away in the middle of the game, and I drank each time I needed to look up a fact (indicated with an asterisk). It was so much fun that I intended to do it again this year. Then I completely forgot, until now. I'd like to keep the tradition alive, so I'm resurrecting it, about two months late, this time to celebrate ... National Dog Day,* I guess.

To honor the holiday someone clearly just made up, I'm going to explore the lives of celebrity animals I've loved from television and movies to see what they're up to now. And like the dogs we commemorate today, there's a good chance this will end with me throwing up on the carpet. So let's get started!