Apple Music isn’t the most perfect music streaming service, but I like it fine. What I cannot tolerate, however, is shelling out $9.99 each month to a company which does business with the offensively mediocre James Corden. So with a heavy heart, I must announce that I am cancelling my Apple Music subscription. I just can’t take it anymore—not after this monstrosity:


I’m not shocked, just disappointed. Apple Music has always had bad advertising—who could forget Taylor Swift falling/being annoying on a treadmill? In July, Apple announced that it picked up James Corden’s “Carpool Karaoke” for a 16-episode Apple Music exclusive, further demonstrating the company’s terrible taste in content. Tim Cook even rolled up to the iPhone 7 launch with the “comedian” and Pharrell, further enforcing the idea that this shit content is integral to Apple’s identity.



When I watch “Carpool Karaoke,” I pray that Corden will crash the car and kill the precious celebrities. Sometimes, I fantasize about jumping in front of the car myself. Release me this miserable world, a world full of people who like “Carpool Karaoke.”




The only way to create change in late capitalism is choosing where to invest your money. I can’t, in good conscience, continue paying for Apple Music due to its partnership with James Corden. Regarding the rest of my Apple products, they also should be destroyed. Sometimes content is so bad everything must burn. I’m sick of this addictive blue light forcing me to take in such malarkey. I welcome a new start, a chance to discover who I am without my precious tech. Into the abyss, I tumble.