Once you have an awareness, you need to know that YOU can do something about the situation. This is where a change in thinking is required. And it really is more a mindset change than a change in your title or your capabilities or your status in life.





and felt lonely. Who's fault would that be? One mindset believes it's your friend's fault because he or she didn't spend time with you. Another mindset would suggest that this is your fault because could make different choices. If you were to go to a party at a friends house and your friend was busy meeting and greeting guests and you sat in the corner and played with your iPhone and felt lonely. Who's fault would that be? One mindset believes it's your friend's fault because he or she didn't spend time with you. Another mindset would suggest that this is your fault because could make different choices.





What was the difference in those two mindsets. The first mindset was a sense of no control and the result was inaction. The second mindset suggests that you had control but chose inaction. If the second mindset is true, then you actually had control of the situation. In which case, you could now turn the lonely evening into an opportunity to meet new people or help your friend.





The power of your mindset is incredibly strong and will give you the sense of control to attack situations with an outlook of control and confidence.





3. Be Proactive and Plan

Now that we understand the power of our mindset, we can do things differently in life. This notion of control of self is a muscle that needs exercise in the form of being proactive. In the party situation above, being proactive would be to say hi to a stranger or perhaps ask your friend if he or she needs help.





In the larger scheme of a busy life, being proactive is taking time to analyze and understand your commitments and then put things in place to get your commits done a little earlier or set up things in life so you can make less decisions on the fly because you've done a little planning.





The best example I can think of is morning exercise. Here's how the proactive part fits into this. The act of putting shoes, running shorts, running shirt, watch, heart rate band, iPhone airband and headlamp in a pile in my bathroom the night before enabled me to overcome the friction of sleep and lethargy. It's a small act that took 5 minutes or less, but it made all the difference because I primed my mind for exercise through the preparation and I removed friction when I tired and weak willed in the morning.



