CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

An ecstatic Annastacia Palaszczuk has today revealed that continued coral bleaching on the Great Barrier Reef is nearly at the point where coal ships would be able to crush their way through to the Central Queensland coast with enough momentum.

Speaking to media this morning, the Queensland Premier said the current bleaching episode is great news for the proposed Adani Megamine in the Galilee basin.

“This bleaching, while not as attractive to overseas visitors, has a major silver lining to it… Or should I say… a coal lining [laughter]”

“The death of the top the thirds of the reef could see international and domestic visitors to the region plummet by more than a million people a year – making way for an endless stream Indian shipping vessels exporting Australian coal back to the subcontinent for a song.”

The mine has drawn immense controversy about its claimed economic benefits, its financial viability, plans for government subsidy and the damaging environmental impacts. Broadly, these have been described as its direct impact upon the Great Barrier Reef, groundwater at its site and its carbon emissions.

However, Premier Palaszczuk says she is much more concerned about the current political climate than she is about the climate climate.

“I know that we probably could save this million year old natural wonder of the world, if we wanted to focus on cutting carbon emissions in that part of the world. But to be honest, that’s not the biggest issue we have on hand”

“If we don’t blindly promise 1400 jobs for the next 60 years in some fuckhole town that no one is going to be living in anyway, Pauline will win every seat in Queensland”

“I’m sorry, but when put up against my job, salary and political legacy, the reef isn’t that important”

“Not to mention the money that will be made when we can finally drive ships through it”