I've been struggling with depression for quite some time. Struggled with a drinking problem because of my depression. I dont blame that on anyone but myself for that. But it was the only thing that made me happy.

I know a lot of people think that i deserve to feel this way because of things they have heard or read about me. How im ungrateful to the people who sub and donate to me. Even though i spend so much time talking with my viewers and getting to know a lot of them personally. With and without being a sub. I have grown a community of my own of people who do care a lot about me and for that i am very grateful. I think im going to take some time away from the computer and internet in general and try to figure out who i am as a person because constantly being bullied

Starting from some man who is 10 years older than me spreading false lies and having others assume hurtful things about me and think everything they read on the internet is true. It is difficult to deal with all the time. I have people constantly saying if you did that or did this it would change things. I know that nothing is ever going to change these people will always find something to harass me for. It's pointless to fight back against something you cant change. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I'm literally a dead person living ever single day and i feel so unhappy. Any time i feel some sort of happiness someone tries to grab it from me. I'm sick of fighting for my happiness.

I going to take these next few days off the internet.

May possibly return on the 1st.

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