Sports aren't fair. Your team is supposed to win! And sometimes they look like they're gonna win, and don't win, and you're stuck with a moment of clarity that none of this has any meaning, no greater power cares a whit for your existence, and you're just ticking down your days on this cold rock until the black embrace of oblivion, or another fucking Penguins Cup, whichever comes first.


This is six-year-old Kale, on his way out of the Nationwide Arena after the Blue Jackets coughed up a two-goal lead last night. "As soon as the final horn sounded he lost his marbles," father Nick tells us. "He was inconsolable."

Kale's wise beyond his years now. Never forget: Hockey is awful and will only ever bring you misery.