Samantha Bee is wasting no time in her ascent to TV talk-show stardom. The Daily Show alum who will soon host her own weekly late-night show on TBS talked to Esquire yesterday after Turner's 2015 Upfront Presentation about her dream list of office demands.

"I don't have a rider but I should get one, right?" she said, declining various skewered hors d'oeuvres at Tao in downtown Manhattan. Bee's had a long time to brainstorm requests for when she's in charge (just two weeks ago she completed her 12-year tenure as a correspondent on The Daily Show).

To start, she'd revive a former Colbert Report set piece. "Obviously a fireplace is essential," she says. Although she has no food stipulations à la Van Halen's M&M's or Jack White's very particular guacamole, Bee does have a recipe for bliss in mind. "Onset reflexology. Wouldn't that be nice?" Also: "Someone has to shave me and put cream on my legs... oh God, everything on my rider is disgusting."

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But more than anything, Bee wants a very special literary sidekick. "I just want Joan Didion to sit there. Can she just be there? She can just sit there. We just have to have chitchat like once in a while. I'm not going to put a lot of pressure on her. She can kind of do what she wants."

Despite all the gags, it turns out Bee is pretty choked up about her exit from Jon Stewart's home at Comedy Central. "I actually begged them to not make me talk because I knew that I would not get through it," she says of her last episode on The Daily Show. "They were like, 'We've got to do something. We've got to do a bit together,' and I was like, 'You don't understand.' You know, as much as I was happy to leave—it was just time to leave like for a million reasons—I was like, 'Please don't make me talk. Must not talk.' So all I could do was really clutch Jon. He was kind of emotional too. It was nice."

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