Chapter Text

From the other side of the debate team’s squad room, Weiss grimaced, glared, and generally made faces at her computer screen, “I guess I actually have to sign up for classes.” For a moment, I mistook her for being on the edge of tears.

“Isn't that good?” I asked, perking up slightly. I was really looking forward to taking more classes in my major. They were the fun stuff, unlike the boring general requirements I'd had to get out of the way while doing Running Start.

“No, Ruby. I have no desire to do this major. I don't give a fuck about business.” She frowned.

“Then don't do it!” I responded, briefly feeling proud of myself.

“That's... not really an option.”

“Sure it is! Do what you love!”

“No, my parents want me to major in business, so I'll major in business!” She burst out.

“You don't have to do things just because they want you too, Weiss. You have to think about you , as well! Do you want to be trapped in a career you'll hate?”

“Ruby. You do not understand. If you my parents find out I did anything they wouldn't approve of, they'll make me go home. I do not want to go home again! If I go home, it's going to be bad again.” Weiss was crying now, her hand momentarily going from brushing away a tear to brushing down the left side of her face, along the scar that reached from just above her eye to her chin.

I was briefly stunned. I'd only meant well, but I'd clearly made Weiss very sad.

Blake, luckily for me, cut in.

“That sounds... concerning.”

Weiss shrugged, “It's my life. I'm used to it.”

I frowned. That shouldn't be anyone's life, and Weiss deserved better. Blake continued to press, which I didn't expect.

She sighed, “I understand that. Weiss, your family sounds a lot like mine. Are they... kind of like a cult?”

Weiss laughed, “Yeah, they run a company that's been in the family for like, 6000 years, and everyone who works there is related, and the dress code hasn't changed since it was founded. It's like preparing to inherit North Korea.”

At this point, I was totally out of my depth. I had no idea what to say, and so, focused on eating the cookies I'd brought into the squad room.

Blake laughed sympathetically, “Yeah, my parents, basically joined a weird political cult when I was five. They called themselves the 'White Fang'. They started out as an environmental activist group, but around when I got to college age, they turned... terroristy. Ultimately, when I got to school, I got a chance to get out.”

“I'm glad you got out, although that's not really an option for me. I really, really don't want the student debt. I doubt seriously my failing as a politician would ever pay back the loans.”

Blake smiled, “Not nearly as much debt as you'd think, although I've definitely got some. I got to declare financial independency, which means that I get a lot more student aid.”

“How does one go about doing that?” Weiss perked up visibly.

“Well, I got kicked out.” Weiss's face fell slightly, “I couldn't get their numbers for the fafsa’s expected income, which, along with some people agreeing that there was no way for me to get those numbers, meant I could declare financial independency.” Weiss's face fell more, “Ultimately, that meant that I could take a smaller amount of loans, live on my own, and not worry about my parents.”

Weiss was almost crying again, “Yeah, that's not a thing that'll work for me. My parents will just cut me off from their money, and they'll have lawyers to tell them not to hide their income numbers from me. Besides, they'll want me to come home anyway, so I'll be more under their control, rather than kick me out, and I'd probably be able to get to the financial information anyway.”

I had basically finished my box of cookies at this point, still really unsure how to help.

Blake nodded, “I mean, there are other ways, but those are pretty much out of the question.”

Weiss perked up one last time, “Other ways? Like?”

“Things like having a child or getting married.” Blake grimaced apologetically.

“Yeah, that's out of the question.” Weiss deflated.

“I'd marry you.” I almost whispered.

“Really?” Weiss asked.

“Sure.” I said, shoving my last cookie into my mouth. Shit, did I just propose to my hot, mean debate partner?

“I'll... think about that.” Weiss said thoughtfully.

It was midnight a week later when Weiss texted me.

Ruby, when you said you'd marry me if I needed you to, did you actually mean it?

I had to stop and think about it for a moment. I hadn't been lying when I'd offered, but suddenly this sounded much more serious, like she actually meant it.

It was a huge thing to have offered someone, especially someone I fought with frequently, and I fought with Weiss a LOT. I was also not quite sure it was legal. Also, I knew it might play out bad for me socially. Getting married at 18 was a big step, and I knew Yang wouldn't approve.

Still, it wasn't like I was going to get hurt like I would if we were getting married for real. I didn't love her, so when this ended, I would be fine. There would be no huge disputes over property, after all, we’d have the end planned from the start. This was to be a marriage of convenience, and it would be pretty good for that, especially since it'd conveniently “fall apart” after Weiss and I finished college.

It was a bigger deal to me that Weiss sounded like she was in a very tough spot. She was going to have to spend her life doing something she hated just because her parents wanted her to be something she wasn't. That wasn't something I was going to let happen. I would do anything to protect my friends, and that meant marrying them if I needed to.

Ruby? Another text came in, It's OK if you're unwilling, that's an enormous thing to do for someone you barely know.

I had come to decision before she'd checked in.

if it helps i'll do it

Soon after, I got an answer in the form of a thumbs up Emoji, followed by a message, We'll discuss this more tomorrow? In the squad room? 4:30? There's rarely anyone in around then.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, yeah sure

Weiss

I was in the room before Ruby. To be fair, I was there at 4:00, half an hour before I'd asked her to show up. This left me plenty of time to worry about whether or not the other women had changed her mind since last night’s exchange.

At 4:05, however, Ruby did show up, looking every bit as nervous as I felt. “Hi, Weiss.”

“Hello, Ruby.” I wanted to say something warmer, but this was such an awkward situation that I didn't know how to do it.

“So, how are we going to...”

“To be clear, you're not asking me to marry you because you are in love with me or anything, right?”

“Right.” Ruby replied nervously.

“Good.” I breathed out, “Then what we do depends on what you're willing to do. I think it's probably for the best that it's not openly a sham marriage; I want a future in politics, and moreover, I'm concerned my parents would find some way to invalidate our marriage if they knew it was a sham; they have enormous legal and financial resources.”

At this point, Ruby took a piece of paper and began taking notes.

“Additionally, I'd kind of like to take your name. You're free to tell me no, I understand if that's something important to you, but it'd be a nice fuck you to my parents, and while I do plan on divorcing you when we're done with college and taking my old name back, I would like to twist the knife a bit, if that's OK with you, and I'd rather not expand their family before I've gotten my chance to do something nice under that name.

I'm more than happy to pay for any rings involved; again, another chance to twist the knife a little bit. I'm thinking we should get married in a private ceremony; I'd rather avoid any kind of big public wedding, just because I'd rather have not have to fake that. I'm thinking our story will be that we've been in love for months and we're done hiding it?”

Ruby frowned, and jotted something down on the paper.

“Ruby, you don't have to flow this, you can just answer anything you disagree with.”

“Alright, from the top.” Ruby began, “I can deal with having to fake it for a while, that's what I was planning. I'm OK with you taking my name, although I'd like you to know that it was my mother's name and it means a lot more to me than just a fuck you, I'd just rather not wind up with your parents' last name. On the point about the ring, that's fine with me. So is the private ceremony. I'm not OK with that story, though, I'd-”

“No, Ruby, this is what's practical . It's what people are most likely to believe, and both of us have to put less work into pretending if our story is better.” I cut in.

“No, Weiss. Yang is already going to be upset with me about this, and unless you want me to tell her-”

“Absolutely not.”

“Then I'd prefer we tell the story that makes Yang LEAST mad at me.”

“And what story is that?”

“Here's the story. I asked you out a while ago. You said no.”

“This already sounds super believable.” I cut in sarcastically.

“Let me finish?”

“Fine.”

“you said no. I assume your parents are pretty homophobic, right?”

“Right.”

“Alright, you were like 'If I say yes to you, then we could get discovered. Then I'd have to return to my family's dwelling.'”

It was at roughly this point where I felt like I was being mocked. Ruby, however, either not noticing my irritation, or not caring, continued.

“A couple weeks later, you come back to me, having thought about it, and you say, 'Ruby, dearest, I have discovered a way that our love may be a reality. As a result, I have changed my mind, however, for our love to blossom, we must be wed, for only then can I get financial aid."

“I do not talk like that!” I snapped.

“Of course not, Weiss.” Ruby patted my shoulder condescendingly as she said it, “But what do you think of the story.”

“I mean, it's uncomfortably” Ruby laughed as I said that word, causing me to snap again, “Oh shut up! It's closer to the truth than I'd like, but I think we can hack it if we're convincing.”

“Alright.” Ruby nodded, “You don't want to tell Yang, but I'd rather not do this completely alone. Is there anyone else I can talk to about this?”

“Blake.” I responded instantly, “She'll know what's going on anyway; it's awfully suspicious that we had that discussion the other day and then a couple weeks later, ALAKAZAM, we’re married.

Ruby

The next day, we went to go buy rings. Weiss was paying, and she was talking about spending the rest of her monthly allowance from her parents on the rings.

“Weiss, there's no need for that. We can spend, like, $50 on each ring, you can save yourself a lot of money to spend on other things. Remember, this is a new relationship. We're just getting married for convenience.” I pointed out, as she looked at $500 rings, having to resist laughing as I recited our story for the first story, because of how close it was to reality.

“Sure, but it's still a wedding ring. Plus, I kinda want to tell my parents to fuck off, which is a goal of mine whether our marriage is something based on deep, permanent love, or just us trying a thing that we have to do to be able to have any chance.”

“Still, it makes both our lives a lot harder if you spend all of our money on fancy rings.”

“I refuse to only spend fifty dollars on ring, Ruby. I want the message to be loud and clear; I want them to know that me buying rings was must than just a formality.” Weiss replied, still starting a somewhat gaudy ring.

“... a hundred dollars.”

“Say what?”

“A hundred dollars. It's a compromise, enough that it's obvious you're spending more than the base minimum, but not so much that it gets in the way of us actually starting a life.”

Weiss paused for a moment, clearly thinking the idea over.

“Actually.” She smiled, “That's quite elegant, and I think they'd be more steamed about the more careful, elegant diss.”

“See! I'm smarter than I look!”

“That's a stretch.”

“Hey!”

We looked at rings for a while, and after a few minutes, we found a beautiful ring with a sterling silver band and a ruby setting. It was a little more than the price we'd set, but on the other hand, it was a very pretty ring, and it made our story somewhat more convincing, in that it was sappy and cute.

We asked the jeweler if it was possible to get a matching pair of things like that one, and he (much to Weiss's surprise) said yes.

“Are you two getting married?” He asked.

“Yeah, we're, uh, getting married.” I stuttered out, a little unsure how to respond.

“Well, it's so sweet that kids as young as yourselves know what you want! You're a very cute couple!”

Weiss flushed, unsure how to respond.

Apparently, my super hot, mean debate partner was also capable of being cute.

“Uh... thank you?” I smiled awkwardly.

“Here, we should probably check how we should size the rings.”

After sizing our fingers, he told us he'd call us when he had the rings sized properly.

About a week later, he called us in, and we came in to actually get our rings.

They were beautiful, like something I would actually get if we were getting married. That hurt a lot; here I was getting married to my debate partner for convenience, during a time in my life when I should have been finding an actual partner, and I was getting this beautiful ring, itself an insult added to an injury I hadn't fully realized yet.

And I was going to have to give it back. The ring was gorgeous, and symbolically clever, something that symbolized each of us as people, and it was something that wasn't really mine. Not that keeping it would make it any better. As a symbol, it was sick joke, a reminder that I was giving up something valuable for a friend.

It was enough that I might have had second thoughts if I didn't know how much this would do for Weiss. Still, I was feeling a little less upbeat after we bought the rings and went to get cash out of a series of ATMs (due to transaction limits) until Weiss's bank account was empty. There was no going back now.

Later that evening, we met up in my dorm when my roommate was out to finish our planning. We decided we wanted a place off campus, because both of us had wanted to move out of the mediocre dorms, we wanted a place to plan, and it’d be easier to plan in that context. Some time during the extensive planning and figuring out budgets and where we were going to live next quarter off campus, I noticed Weiss was started to get stressed out, and I was starting to feel the stress a little myself.

I whipped out the box with the ring that Weiss was going to wear, dropped down to a knee, and, in my most serious voice, said, “Love of my life, winter frost on my lawn, our relationship of no time at all has meant the world to me. I would be honored if you would also share your future with me. Weiss Schnee, will you marry me?”

“Oh, go fuck yourself, Rose.” Weiss waved me off, but she laughed a little, too.

I smiled, “Right back at you, Rose.”

“We're not married yet, Ruby.” She replied, smiling slightly.

“Yet.”

Doing our financials actually came up with a pleasant surprise: Given that Weiss had this quarter paid for, and money for a deposit from her bank account, we would not have to take out loans after we got our financial aid if we both worked part time. This made the marriage a step up for me in terms of money as well; I'd had to take out student loans last quarter, and helping me and Yang had put a lot of stress on Dad, making him even more distant.

Once that was all done, we moved on to talking about what our “relationship” would involve.

“In public: Kissing?” She opened.

“I don't think we'll really need to.” I replied, then amended, “Except, obviously, for the kiss at the wedding.”

“That sounds about right to me..” She said.

“Hugging?”

“Sure, I don't see why not. Cutsey pet names?”

“Nah, too stereotypical. Shitty pickup lines?”

“Sure.” Weiss smiled, “Same bed, or different bed?”

“Different bed, we're a new couple, after all, although we may have to start sleeping together later on. Holding hands?”

“Sure. Date nights out?”

“Maybe once a month at a fast food place. We've got, like, 0 dollars between the two of us.” I laughed, “fake date nights in?”

“Weekly.” Weiss agreed, “I'm not really sure what to ask from here... we'll talk more as we go, right? If I need to ask you something, I'll text you, it'll give us more flexibility. We won't always be able to do that, but some part of the time, we'll do it.”

“That sounds smart.”

We filled out the application for a marriage license the next day. The wedding couldn't go forward for three days, which would be the Wednesday in the middle of finals week. We'd need two witness and someone to officiate. We decided on Blake as our officiant. This was for a couple reasons. First, Weiss’s name might draw unwanted attention to any public ceremony, and the two of us wanted to keep this out of the press for as long as possible. Second, Weiss wanted only friends involved in signing the legal document that would make us married, fearing her parents bribing third parties.

We spoke to Blake the next day and let her in on the plan. We offered to pay the fee she'd need to pay to get licensed to do so. She agreed, meaning we had our officiant. The two witnesses would be harder, because they wouldn't know the real story.

Weiss and I brainstormed for a while, and decided to invite Jaune, Pyrrha, and Yang. Jaune or Pyrrha were the fallbacks, in case Yang told us she wouldn't witness for us. All the same, I wanted to invite my sister to my wedding, even if it was fake. She’d be mad enough as it was.

Jaune looked heartbroken during the conversation, and by the end, I was fairly sure he wasn't going to show up, which made our lives a little tougher.

Pyrrha seemed to think we were being a little foolish, but agreed to show up to support us.

Yang, though... Yang made me glad to have Weiss there to support me during that talk; I'd need someone who could be mean.

“You WHAT? ” Yang snapped, “No. No, Ruby, you're not doing that. That's STUPID. ”

Weiss took my hand, probably mostly as acting, but I enjoyed having someone comfort me.

Weiss, thankfully, stood up on our behalf, “Yang, It's not like we're actually promising each other forever.”

“No, Weiss, you are actually promising each other forever. That's literally what it means to marry someone.”

Weiss’s grip on my hand tightened, her nails digging a little into the back of my hand, not enough that it actually hurt, but enough that I noticed.

“It's what it's supposed to be. Sometimes we don't have the luxury to do things the way they're supposed to be done. Ruby and I don't have the luxury of waiting until we're ready to promise forever, so we're promising each other until school is done, economically and romantically.”

“Yang, please.” I plead.

“Ruby, no. You know this is a terrible idea. Promising someone years at a time when you've just decided to be with them? When you've only known them for a quarter? That's...”

Weiss’s grip on my hand had loosened by this point back to a normal handhold, which I appreciated.

“Yeah, but I'm sure it'll be OK.” I replied, “I can handle this, and I trust Weiss. Plus, even if it goes south, it'll only be a couple years. It's not much worse than just having a long term relationship that goes bad, anyway.”

“No, you know what? You're right, you're a hopeless romantic, you're not going to be talked out of this. Plus, you're hardly the one who's fucking herself over here.” She pivoted her intense glare to Weiss, “Princess. Look. I love her dearly, but your girlfriend here is a fucking dumbass-” Weiss glared her (clever acting, I noted to myself), but Yang wasn't stopped in the slightest, “No, you know it's true. It's why any decent person would love her, her and her self-sacrificing nonsense, and her helpless romanticism. Let's take a step back for a moment, because you're many things, but you're not an idiot.

Weiss, you're giving her intense power over you. If she wants to fuck you over, she can just walk away. You don't have that kind of power over her. You're a very, very smart woman. You know this is a bad idea.”

Weiss seemed much less shaken by this than I was. I wasn't happy with the idea of having that kind of power, even over a fake relationship. After all, that was still power I was going to have. Weiss seemed unsurprised.

Weiss’s hand tightened around mine again..

“Do you think I didn't think of that?” The girl in white glared, “Yang, think about this from my perspective. Yes, Ruby will have a degree of power over me, and I don't particularly like that. But she's a hell of a lot better than my parents. Ruby is a kind woman with a heart of gold, like you pointed out. Someone is going to have power over me. Given that choice, Yang, who would you choose? Your sister, or my parents?”

“I...” Yang was stumped, “Still, it's a terrible way to start a relationship, and I'm worried about both of you. That's definitely not a recipe for a healthy relationship.”

“Yang, there's two things you should understand. One, this economically better for Ruby as well. She'll not wind up needing anyone's help, which means she won't need to take out loans, and it means that the people she cares about will have more money for themselves. And yes, Yang, I know you'd prefer your sister follow a more normative and independent relationship path. And yes, the benefit of taking out less loans doesn’t even the scales for either you, or your father. But for Ruby, it clearly makes a positive difference. She could walk off, but it's immensely to her benefit to stay with me for the time we agreed on. We're both in an uncomfortable position, but it's hardly the fucked up power nightmare you're painting it as.

Secondly, some degree of power dynamic is inevitable in any relationship that is also economic. All marriages, like it or not, have an economic aspect. It's extremely common for one partner to make significantly more money than the other. That one has more power, they can walk away far easier than the other one can. Even if we don't consider the economic considerations, there's plenty of cases in relationships where one partner cares more. Are all marriages, and a significant portion of all relationships, unhealthy?

Look, Yang. Unless I do this, I’m never going to have a shot at any relationship. Ever. Economic disparities aside, Ruby cares for me enough to do this with me. I don’t want to ruin her life, I just want to have a chance at us, and this is the only way I know how.”

“I think it's a different scale of power imbalance” Yang mumbled, she turned back to me “Look, Ruby. I'm not going to stop you, and I'll show up; there's a difference between disapproving of something and not showing up to your own sister’s wedding. But understand. I STRONGLY disapprove of this, and I'm a little disappointed in you. Please, reconsider.”

“Sorry, Yang.” I frowned uneasily. I wasn't going to fuck over Weiss; she was already too deep into this.

Weiss had gone from ‘angrily crushing my hand into a pulp’ to ‘softly reassuring’, which meant a lot to me.

“Alright.” She signed, throwing up her hands “Ruby, I'm mad at you, but if you ever need me, I'm here for you. Weiss? Look. I really, really don't like you right now, but it's clear you're important to my sister. I'm here for you as well. You are apparently going to be family, after all.”

“Thanks, Yang.” Weiss said.

Weiss

The wedding happened that Wednesday, smack in the middle of finals week. We decided to have it in my dorm room, as my roommate had gone home as soon as she had finished.

Ruby wore the clothes she wore to tournaments, her moderately nice red and black dress combination. I looked her over; the girl I was ‘marrying’ was certainly a little naive, but at least she was good looking. I had also not dressed up all that nicely, just a little, because Ruby had told me not to spend any of my remaining money on buying a wedding dress. I’d thought it would be a good diss on my parents, but Ruby pointed out that they couldn’t even see how this money was spent. She’s also pointed out that I couldn’t live, exclusively to spite my parents.

Bad luck or not, we met up before the ceremony. It gave us a chance to talk over what the plan was; we were going to kiss and exchange a simple set of vows; nothing like traditional vows, but a simple promise to respect, love, and support.

Blake showed up earlier than anyone else, which was useful because we could let her in on what we’d decided; that we were going to kiss, and what vows we wanted.

She smiled, saying that she thought they were almost cute.

Fifteen minutes before the ceremony, Yang showed up. At that point, the talk of the conspiracy itself faded. Now, the show was on.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Ruby?” She said.

“Yes, Yang.” Ruby replied.

“You can always…”

“Yang, shut the fuck up.” Blake cut in.

“Why are you supporting them, Blake?”

Blake looked sheepish momentarily, then set her expression, “Because I think it’s important that the two of them get a chance at having a relationship, and that doesn’t happen unless this goes forward? Sure, I have my concerns, but I think they should have a chance at love, don’t you?”

“Whatever.”

“Hey, please, be nice?” Ruby cut in, “I don’t want anyone else fighting on my behalf.”

The room settled into a charged silence until Pyrrha showed up.

“Jaune’s not going to make it.” She let us know, “He said he ‘has something else to do’.”

“Thanks, Pyrrha.” Blake said, “Should we begin?”

“Yes.” Ruby piped up.

“Absolutely.” I smiled.

“Will you, Weiss, take this woman to be your wife? Will you respect her as long as you live, support her in all that you can, and love her as long as you may?” Blake asked me.

“I will.” I agreed. Blake turned to Ruby,

“Will you, Ruby Rose, take this woman to be your wife? Will you respect her as long you live, support her in all that you can, and love her as love her as long as you may?” Blake repeated.

Ruby, a better actor than me, bounced on the balls of her feet as she agreed, “I will.”

Blake began the next section of the marriage:

“Weiss, repeat after me:

I give you this ring,”

I began putting the ring on Ruby, “I give you this ring,”

I could see Ruby’s eyes clouding over; this was clearly making her very uncomfortable, although I had no idea why.

“As a symbol of our vows,”

“As a symbol of our vows,”

“And as a representation of our marriage.”

“And as a representation of our marriage.”

I slid the ring the rest of the way up her finger, and Blake turned to Ruby.

“Ruby Rose, repeat after me:

I give you this ring,”

“I give this ring,”

Ruby choked up a little as she said it.

“As a symbol of our vows,”

“As a symbol of our vows,”

“And as a representation of our marriage.”

“And as a representation of our marriage.”

We were now both wearing the rings, Ruby trying desperately hide some pain that I didn’t fully understand; we’d have to talk about that at some point.

“By the power vested in me by the State of Washington, I pronounce you wives!” Blake announced.

I leaned in, as did Ruby. I carefully avoided having our noses bump, and our lips met.

It was a fairly chaste kiss, although we held it until a mental count of four, long enough to be believable but not long enough to be uncomfortable. Ruby was an attractive woman, and a reasonably decent kisser, I discovered, so kissing her wasn’t unpleasant, even if it was extraordinarily awkward.

Ruby broke the kiss.

“Alright, folks, I need everyone to do some paperwork real quick saying you witnessed this.”

Yang glared as she filled out her section as a witness, Pyrrha merely completed it agreeably, either not judging or just keeping her judgement to herself. After the paperwork was filled out, Pyrrha congratulated us; Yang continued to glare. Blake offered us a ride to the local courthouse so we could drop off the paperwork.



We took her up on the offer, and like that, we were married, and I was free.