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Aquariums are expensive to run. With all the required space, water, food and more, in recent years we’ve seen that some of them in Japan have struggled financially. So in order to attract visitors, they’ve had to get a little creative.

So what do they do? Make more interactive exhibits, or try new theme days, or acquire new animals?

Nah. They’ve started giving love advice instead!

Can You Feel the Love… Under the Sea?

So far only Tokyo’s Sumida Aquarium has jumped on the relationship advice bandwagon, but it’s a juicy wagon for sure. When you think about it, it almost makes sense in a way. Who better to dispense wisdom in the ways of the heart than the people who work to keep thousands of sea creature hearts beating every day?

The way the system works is simple. Visitors write down their relationship questions, post them on a board, and then they get answered by employees.

Let’s take a look at some of them, starting with an official tweet made by the Sumida Aquarium itself. The tweet reads: “Today is Christmas Eve. On the 6th floor in the special event area, we’re holding the ‘Aquarium Staff Relationship Advice Corner!’ Here are some of the issues we’re dealing with this year. Feel free to leave your own if you visit.”

https://twitter.com/Sumida_Aquarium/status/1209420238099345412

In Japan, Christmas and Christmas Eve are a little different. They’re closer to Valentine’s Day, where couples spend time together going on dates, rather than big family get-togethers. Because of that, this love advice corner has come at the perfect time.

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Here are the translations of the questions and answers from the tweet:

Q: My girlfriend doesn’t cook meat and potato stew thoroughly enough. How should I tell her when she does this? (Male, 27)

A: The bullhead shark uses its tough teeth to crack open hard shells and eat them. Even if the potatoes are a little hard, you should still be able to enjoy them. But if you can’t, then maybe you should try making her some meat and potato stew sometime.

—From Goldfish Team

Q: My girlfriend said that the way I eat popcorn is messy. (Male, 18)

A: Male penguins and seals always clean themselves thoroughly, making themselves look nice. If they don’t, then the females won’t pay attention to them. No matter the animal, hygiene is very important.

—From Marine Mammal Team

Q: My fortune told me, “The person you wait for will not come.” Will I ever meet someone special? (Female, 23)

A: If the person you’re waiting for doesn’t come to you, then you should go to them. When we feed the female ribbon tail stingrays (the bigger ones) in the big tank, they swim right at us with such intensity for the food that it nearly sends us flying. That might be a good reference for how aggressive you can be.

—From Fish Team

Another tweet showed one more, with a slightly more serious issue than the others.

https://twitter.com/ztchuhi/status/1208711307723071488

Q: I’ve fallen in love with a man at a host club. I’ve spent over 10 million yen ($91,000) on him, but he doesn’t love me back. What should I do? (Female, 29)

A: I feel like the relationship between you and your host is similar to the one between us caretaker staff and the fish. We love them, but the fish don’t see us as anything more than “people who give food.” Despite that, we still take care of them as best we can, because we care about them. We don’t look to get anything more out of the relationship, and perhaps the same could go for you as well.

—From Head of the Jellyfish

That’s quite the deep answer, as should be expected from the head caretaker of a deep-water dwelling animal.

So it seems the wisdom contained in the aquarium is as endless as the ocean. Perhaps if more of us followed the advice from the staff, then we’d have fewer incidents of people hiring goons to forcefully destroy their ex’s new relationship.

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