An interesting thing happened in Canberra this week. On Tuesday, the Australian Capital Territory's legislative assembly became the first parliament in Australia to pass legislation allowing same-sex couples to marry.

The interesting thing was, the sky didn't fall in and the world didn't stop turning because the ACT decided that more people who love each other and want to acknowledge their committed and permanent relationships could get married.

Marriage is the bedrock of Australian society and is what most strongly binds together people and families, and in a broader sense communities.

It is the special pact that tells the world "we two belong together, we are family to each other."

That's why straight people want to and do get married. And that is why gay people like me and my partner Virginia Edwards want to get married.

It's also why I disagree most strongly with those who argue that allowing same-sex couples to marry would somehow threaten or undermine the institution of marriage.

Virginia and my relationship is just like that of heterosexual couples. It is special, loving and intimate. We intend it to be permanent, so we nurture it through the good times and nurse it when things get tough.

It is at the core of our social lives, drawing our families and friends together around us as a partnership which has become a single entity. It is, in every sense but the legal one, a marriage.

On Wednesday, the people of the ACT awoke and went about the business of their daily lives. I know that some of them would have arisen feeling a new sense of joy that they might at some point over coming months be able to marry their same-sex partners and have that marriage legally recognised in their own home town.

But those Territorians would have been in the minority. Most would have gone about their Wednesday experiencing all the same happiness, sadness, hope, despair, comfort and loneliness that they had on Tuesday.

They would have had all the same concerns for themselves, their families and their communities that they had in the 24 hours preceding the historic vote in their parliament.

Getting the kids to school, sorting out an argument at home, paying the bills, keeping the boss happy, finding the time to phone Mum. Those are the types of things that really matter to people, day in and day out, not whether Virginia and I want to tie the knot.

It's early days, but I haven't yet heard of anyone in the ACT deciding to end their own marriage, or even terminate an engagement, because their gay neighbours will soon be able to get a piece of paper legalising their relationship.

I can't be in the minds of others, but I simply cannot conceive that heterosexual couples standing at the altars of Canberra next month will feel that the special significance of what they are doing with and for each other is diminished because a gay couple is doing the same thing down the road.

Marriage is important to individuals regardless of their sexuality and it's important for societies and cultures. That's why even people like Virginia and me, who have lived through the trauma of marriages that have failed, want to be part of this very special, but sadly still exclusive, club.