Diane, don’t forget to find us on Facebook and Twitter, and have a look through the Sub-Basement Archive. And I’m going to need another pair of Ear-Pillow Silicone Earplugs.

If you fancied yourself an actor in the Seattle area in the early 90s, odds were good your path would cross with Northern Exposure. Famously filmed in the nearby mountain town of Roslyn, Northern Exposure cast a lot of local faces in parts large and small.

I had been in a few plays around that time, and on one, the mother of one of my castmates turned out to be a talent agent. Lured by the glamour of local commercials and “Crimestoppers” reenactments, I signed up. I did a few screentests, none of which came to anything, then I got the call.

“Northern Exposure needs lumberjacks for a bar brawl. If they like you they could use you again.”

I snapped into action. I threw on my thrift-store flannel shirt, the one I mainly wore when listening to Pearl Jam in my room, didn’t shave, rubbed some dirt on my face, and sent the picture with my headshot and resume. I waited for my pages and looked up how to get to Roslyn from Tacoma.

Short version: they didn’t even consider me. I was too young and babyfaced to be taken seriously as a badass lumberjack.

Nothing ever came of Richmond, Professional Actor. Twin Peaks never came up, as the series had already been canceled. The only gig I got was as a clown at a theater opening, and I didn’t put that on my resume.

I was tangentially involved with Twin Peaks a few years later, when I played Leo Johnson in a locally-produced play based on the series. I got the part because I had a ponytail.

The cast of Showtime’s Twin Peaks revival made a video appealing for Lynch to come back. I still hope they can come to an agreement, if just so that Nadine Hurley has more to do than think she’s still in high school. Dare I hope we get to see Agent Mulder in a dress again?