This week’s episode of Mamamia Out Loud is about the world’s coolest comedian.

And what happened in real life, when I got to meet her.

And here, it is friends. Unedited. Not filtered, in all it’s hopeless flailing. A good lesson to journalism students.

When I was offered an Amy Schumer interview I almost licked the computer screen in excitement. All my friends were like, “Holy shitballs!”. All my colleagues were like, “She will love you!”. My mum was like “who?”

Amy Schumer is everywhere right now, and for good reason. (I mean, she has a movie out so she’s doing publicity for it). But apart from that, Jerry Seinfeld called her the funniest person he’s ever seen, and her show, Inside Amy on Comedy Central, has been nominated for seven Emmys. Her humor is irreverent, dry, funny and smart, she’s feminist and badass and pretty much my idol.

And apart from my mum, everyone was pumped. I’ve watched so much of this woman I felt I knew her. I thought ‘we can just chat and laugh, it will be like we’ve known each other for years’. But despite that, I prepped for the interview for days. I watched the movie twice. I watched all her shows. I watched all her other interviews and made notes like I was swotting up for an Important Exam.

For weeks leading up I was contemplating how to maximise my 10 minutes of interview time. “Perhaps I can introduce her to the Australia delicacy that is the Tim Tam Slammer!” I said to my workmates. “Has she ever eating a Lamington?” I pondered. And “maybe she’ll be so bored of interviews, we can sit there and do some mindfulness colouring in as a joke!”

Finally, we figured since she’s a comedian we could play a bit of a picture/word association game.

“It’s foolproof”, people told me. “Comedians love material to work with.”

So I went to Officeworks and crafted me some flash cards. Bronwyn Bishop. Tony Abbott. Mick Fanning. Vegemite. Tim Tams, Hamish and Andy, and finally a picture of her. I arranged my flash cards in order and drew helpful arrows on the back so I knew which way to hold them up right so I wouldn’t stuff it up.