Fleeting, Finite Moments

My son is on the ASD pathway because he struggles with social interaction and communication (and he is incredible).

To be clear, there is absolutely nothing I would change about my son. He is who he is not “in spite” of his neurodivergence (and whatever diagnosis he may or may not receive down the line), but because of it.

His differences are not deficits, they are a combination of awesome traits and unusual (sometimes extremely hard) challenges.

Last week, to get support in place before he starts school in September, I spent a good few hours completing a psych evaluation form. The following day, I met with an agency that specializes in the emotional well-being of children. So, for approximately 24 hours, I was forced to focus purely on El’s struggles and developmental differences, rather than who he is. Not fun.

By Friday afternoon, after a fraught meeting with an unprepared, ill-informed, and grossly ignorant “professional,” I was drained. Physically and emotionally drained.

My solution? To hang out with El! We went on buses and trains, we went to the city center, had a picnic in the park, we visited family, we played a lot, we waved at people, and we laughed.

He gave me back my joy. I hope, I gave him some too.

[bctt tweet=”This love for my child, is an infinite, unconditional love of fleeting, finite moments.” username=”@bee_kids”]

El fills my heart with pride. He radiates joy. There is so much I don’t want to forget; so much I want to hold on to as he grows and matures and changes. Below I list, some of the random things I love about him right now…

Random things I love about my son (in no particular order)…

I love… How movie night means, selecting movie titles and guessing the rotten tomato percentage of each. I love… His singing. His sense of humor. His eyes – they shine. Seriously. I love… The way he says, “Ok everyone, sit on your cat!” I love… His volcano jumps, His balancing and climbing games, And his bruised legs. I love… His rules, His instructions, His scripts, And… How he negotiates for what he wants then pushes for a little bit more. I love… How he says, “Bayoon” and “Byu” and “Nocrowave,” How he sings Beethoven’s 9th at the top of his voice, How he reads without even trying, How he dances, and boogies, and ice-boards. I love… How he loves “Baby and Pukey,” How much he enjoys cooking with “Rabbit,” How he is sometimes “Person,” or “Shopkeeper,” or “Chef.” I love… How hard he works to “fit in” And I love… How he doesn’t fit in. I love… How enthusiastic he is about life; How he shouts, “Wow! This is amazing!” when going up an escalator, And… How he randomly exclaims, “Oh, my goodness!” at everyday events. I love… How he uses Google Translate to learn Japanese numbers, How he uses dominoes to practice addition, And how zero/zero is his favorite domino. I love… How he enjoys playing with water but hates being wet, How he loves tunnel slides but worries about going down. I love… How sensitive he is. How determined he is. How he holds my chin to control my gaze. How he smiles and laughs and giggles… …especially his sleepy giggles I love… How he needs me And how he doesn’t I love… How he is. Exactly how he is.

Who’s Who

Baby: A soft, purple baby doll with a permanently surprised expression. El’s primary comfort toy.

Pukey: A smaller, plastic baby doll. Officially Baby’s cousin, but sometimes his friend or child.

Rabbit: A silent character played by me. Rabbit is a little bit naughty and always allows El to control the play

Person: A confident alter ego who gives orders and delivers presentations

Shopkeeper: A capitalist alter ego who controls the direction of play (usually in the “shop”)

Chef: A culinary alter ego who prepares lunch or dinner (usually with Rabbit).

Every parent has a million things they love about their child(ren). I’d love to know some of the funny, random things that make your soul soar. Please share in the comments. 🙂

For an earlier account of things I love about El, click here.

Keep buzzin’