According to the Jewish Journal in Los Angeles, Biderman is a "regular guy from Toronto", the grandson of Holocaust survivors who has a "rocking wife", and who must be "talented in the boudoir because if she's not, according to Biderman's [own] theories, he may cheat" on her. Noel and Amanda Biderman, the happily married founders of the Ashley Madison dating website. Amanda Biderman is, in her own words, the "insane woman" who did marry him. She is raising her two young children with "Jewish traditions more than religion, and loves her husband". And, while supporting her husband, the Jewish Journal says that Ms Biderman is "heartbroken that this is the turn his career path has taken". The founder of this now-compromised infidelity machine says he designed Ashley Madison for women because he knew men would then "gravitate" towards it. He says his wife's input is part of what made the site so successful.

Despite his very specific line of work, he says infidelity is not an ingredient in their marriage. A promotional billboard for the Ashley Madison dating website. Speaking from the couple's family home in Toronto last year to Fairfax Media, Noel Biderman said: "I believe monogamy is worth pursuing and that it's a worthwhile endeavour. However, I'm aware we're not engineered for monogamy and it's actually a minority of us that will be successful with it." Amanda Biderman, originally from South Africa, has a background in marketing and plays a pivotal role in the promotion of her husband's business. "For females, sex is more of an intimate, emotional thing," she said. "It's connectivity with somebody, whereas with men it's a biological need and a drive."

That drive, as every brothel in the universe has discovered, is quite lucrative. So is Ashley Madison, which is reportedly worth more than $100 million. It all began in 2001, when Noel, a successful sports lawyer with an entrepreneurial spirit, said he saw that a lot of his clients were cheating. He also read that a quarter of online daters were not actually single. "That was an eye opener," Amanda said. "Once I understood there was a marketplace that needed to be serviced, I thought, oh god, this is going to be big." The reactions to Noel have been widespread, heartfelt, ardent and have included death threats. Has Noel really received letters to cease and desist from the Pope? "Unfortunately, yes." "This strikes a deep chord with many people ... It breaks apart a very traditional, conservative approach to how we see our relationships and conduct our lives," Amanda said. "People definitely want to attack [us].

"[But] infidelity has been there for centuries. We see it in the presidency in the United States and the upper echelons of Hollywood. It's not a new phenomenon; it's just that nobody ever documents it or wants to understand it." "Noel," Amanda said, is simply an entrepreneur who identified "an opportunity to understand the psychology around relationships and dig deeper [to] unearth the things people don't want to discuss." The couple, who married in 2003, met before the Ashley Madison phenomenon. "He was not a savvy dater, no smooth womaniser," Amanda said. On one of their first dates "he had forgotten even the small change for the parking meter — I liked that." He tends to take over dinner party conversations, she said. "He was always the magnet of any discussion, even before stepping into this role. He has a charisma that spoke to me from the moment I not only laid eyes on him, but heard him articulate his vision for a happy life." (For the record, that vision includes: "finding time to do what I love", "being a leader and role model for my kids", and "making sure to communicate my needs and expectations with those around me".) He certainly doesn't look like a king of infidelity. "People are often shocked that I'm the guy behind it," Noel says. They're surprised "that my shirt isn't open and I'm not wearing a bunch of gold chains and there isn't a bevy of blondes behind me. Maybe they're really disappointed that I seem like a family guy and I'm a little dull in that regard."

The couple do not practice what they promote. Amanda says: "I'm sure most people assume that because of what Noel does, we must be in an open relationship, but this is absolutely untrue." Amanda says she would be "heartbroken" if she discovered Noel had been unfaithful. "We have such a great relationship, and are open about our needs, that it really would come as a big surprise." Noel says: "The failing of our monogamy endeavour would be between the two of us. We obviously [wouldn't have given] each other what we needed. That's where all the responsibility would lie." Despite her feelings toward infidelity, Amanda has loaned her face to an Ashley Madison billboard campaign. The slogan reads: "Your wife is hot, but so are ours!" Did she get any grief for the billboard? "Absolutely!"

She is used to the grief, though. "People say to me, 'How could you be married to him? Don't you feel embarrassed?' And: 'How could you live with yourself?' [But] I find it exhilarating waking up beside someone each day who is doing something no other person before him has ever done." Explaining to their two children what Noel does doesn't faze her, either. "They will think about it the way I do. They will know and accept that it is a profession and not the way we live our lives." Media is something Noel Biderman is — by now — very used to. He knows the controversy drives memberships sky-high, and his views never fail to incite. "You can point fingers at me all you want but, let's be honest, this is massive," he says. "It's like a tidal wave and I couldn't possibly be responsible for all that sociology. There is nothing I can do or say to persuade anyone to have an affair. People who are going to have affairs are going to do it, whether it's at the workplace, with their best friend's partner, or on Ashley Madison. Those are inevitabilities." Amanda knows her husband's sound bites are controversial. "He looks like the villain trying to tear apart relationships, that he's OK with infidelity, but in reality, all he's doing is bringing light to something people turn a blind eye to."

She believes Noel is opening those blind eyes: "He's not afraid to ask the really tough questions." He's also not afraid to admit his main focus: "We're in the business to make money." He does not view the site as online bordello, though. "If you want to pay for sex, there are a million places to go and do that. There really is." with Stuff.co.nz Follow Digital Life on Twitter