Currently, our democracy hangs in the balance. Literal super-villains infest every corner of Washington DC, from the rat-infested swampy White House to the corporate-branded chambers of the Senate and House, and the frat boy's club of rape jokes once known as the Supreme Court.

With such utter villainy oozing from every political party, with nefarious schemes behind large oak doors, with self-dealing ne'er-do-wells destroying our communities, our values, our system of laws and our very planet, all the sane among us agree; something must be done. In the words of prophet Bonnie Tyler, 'we need a hero.'

One of the only figures now situated to effect real change is none other than Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, idealistic politician and activist, who has already come out swinging in her fight for jobs, higher wages and environmental protections. She has demonstrated her superior talents of tenacity, incisive observation, and sweet dance moves. She clearly represents a perfect combination of progressive ideals, as well as both physical and mental prowess. She makes the perfect candidate, not only for youngest congresswoman, but for literal superhero as well.

For these reasons, we petition the National Academy of Sciences, the NIH, perhaps even CERN or other international bodies of science, technology and medicine, to grant Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez with superhuman abilities. Among these MUST include; flight, enhanced reflexes, super strength, bulletproof skin, and heat vision.

There are many other optional superpowers that can be researched and developed for exclusive use by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, such as razor claws to match her already razor wit, extreme endurance for filibustering, freeze breath to restore the polar ice caps, or the ability breathe or hold her breath underwater for great lengths of time because that one sounds cool also.

Proposed superhero names include; The Green Ideal, Amazio-Cortex, or the Bronx Bulwark, but of course naming is up to her discretion and dependent on the actual combination of superpowers that will eventually be wrought by mad science.

Please add your support for the one thing that can save humanity and the planet Earth; a scientifically engineered being with uncanny capabilities far beyond whatever mortal men have ever known, specifically the Astounding Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez!!