Around this time of the year, most people do the customary thing and put together a list of their favourite films. That’s too obvious for the Angries, so I've put together an alternate list of winners. Mainly stuff that has annoyed me throughout the year really.



The after party's at Pizza Hut, however there are no doggy bags with iPhones in them.



The Coppola award for I wish you'd go back to making really good films

David Cronenberg for Cosmopolis.









David Cronenberg is a great director, hell he's got more creativity in his little finger than I do in my whole body but Cosmopolis is pants, even more pants than a Dangerous Method. I'm sure this is just a blip, it's not like he's made something as bad as Jack



The Return of the King why doesn't your film end already Award

The Hobbit



















Plenty has been written about this already. Yes it's long and no it probably doesn't need to be that long, maybe the next two will be shorter? Who am I trying to kid, of course they won't be



The Toy Story 3 fitting end to a trilogy award

The Dark Knight Rises





Heath Ledger's Joker left a massive hole in the trilogy and while it's not perfect, it's still the benchmark by which all superhero films will be measured. Who didn't cry a little when Gary Oldman read his Tale of Two Cities quote at the end.



The Jigsaw Award for why has your film franchise not died a painful death

Resident Evil:Retribution



Why, oh why, oh why are we still being subjected to Resident Evil Films? Come to think of it why is Paul W.S. Anderson still making films?Allquestions with no answers, but I imagine we'll be discussing Resident Evil:Double Dip Rcession next year



The Phantom Menace award for the biggest disappointment for such an eagerly awaited film

Ridley Scott for Prometheus



Is there anything more to be said about Prometheus? No.

It was a huge disappointment, but at least it was an honest disappointment not some Michael Bay piece of crap



The Michael Bay award for "We hope he gives up directing"

George Lucas





Red Tails is a shockingly bad film. What's more shocking, is that it's based on true story that should be exciting.George some how sucks all the excitement out of it. Fingers crossed he's called it quits with celluloid.



The Daniel Day Lewis award for injury in the commitment to a role

John Hawkes in The Sessions



Injured his back in the Sessions, due to prolonged periods lying on his back with his spine curved. An effect he achieved by stuffing a foam ball down one side of his top



The how did you get a sequel when the first film was bollocks award sponsored by Look Who’s Talking Now

Wrath of the Titans



Was there a great clamour to see more Titans films after the release of clash? Did I miss some massive internet campaign demanding more of Sam "Charisma Vacuum" Worthington as Perseus, The whiniest son of a god committed to celluloid? No, but here we are with Wrath of the Titans. The only thing you can say about Wrath, is that it's not as bad as Clash. Faint praise indeed.



The Bobba Fett Nerdvana award

Avengers

The Avengers has been a wet dream for nerds for a long time. Numerous set up films have come and gone just so we can have the back story of each character. Thor (average film), Captain America (rubbish film), Iron Man (one good one shit film) and Hulk (two films, both of which the avengers pretend don't exist) combine with Hawk Eye (man with great eye sight and a bow and arrow?) and Black Widow (woman with great ass) to kick Loki's ass. Genuinely good fun, it also wins the WWE award for name change due to legal reasons



The Se7en award for an actual ending is important idiot

The Devil Inside





A piss poor film, which ends by telling you to go and Google the ending for yourself. No wonder the Vatican didn't want you to see it, they must have pretty good taste in films.





The Grave of the Fireflies "I feel like slashing my wrists now" award

Tyrannosaur





Absolutely brilliant, with stunning performances but a thoroughly depressing film. Not one to cheer you up on a rainy day



The "I'm being self referential aren't I clever?" award sponsored by Scream

The Cabin in the Woods



Yes Joss, we know you're a clever bloke who knows his horror films and genre conventions, but there's no need to be so smug about it. A film that seemed to divide the majority of people I know. I quite enjoyed it but it still annoyed me a bit as well





The Bob de Niro "I'll be in this awful film cause I've got a down payment due on a yacht"

Al Pacino for Jack and Jill

This is the guy who played Tony Montana, Michael Corleone, Charlie Brigante, Ricky Roma and now he thinks making googly eyes at Adam Sandler in a dress is a good idea? WHY!WHY!



The Punch Drunk Love award for I can act but choose to be in shit

Adam Sandler for Jack and Jill, That's my Boyetc etc



Whilst we're on the subject of Adam Sandler, do his films get more embarrassing every year?





The Christmas Jones stupidest scientist award

Dr Maria Shearing in The Bourne Legacy

She does point out at one stage of the film she has a Phd, though her general moronic behaviour makes you think she just printed it out online. Or won it at a duck shoot at the fair.



The Marlon Brando I really don’t want to be here

Tommy Lee Jones (MiB3)

Tommy Lee Jones seems as unhappy to be in MiB3 as we are watching it





The not another found footage award sponsored by the Blair Witch

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