Albany

If the world gives you Malcolm Smith and Pedro Espada, you might as well make lemonade.

That's the idea, basically, behind a goofy, funny and creative proposal for bringing more tourists and energy to downtown Albany.

A Museum of Political Corruption.

Yes, it sounds like a joke. But Albany resident Bruce Roter insists the campaign he's launched is as serious as a root canal.

"If Albany is going to be associated with corruption, we might as well cash in on it," the College of Saint Rose professor said. "Why not embrace it?"

Once I stopped laughing, I realized the sly genius of Roter's idea. You go with what you have, right? We, sadly, have corruption.

Cooperstown has its Hall of Fame. Albany can have its Hall of Shame.

You might know Roter if you're a Trader Joe's fan. You may even consider him a hero.

That's because it was Roter who launched a campaign to bring the market to the region, at a time when the chain was essentially saying: "We will never grace your backwater."

Roter didn't give up easily. He and his followers spent five years lobbying Trader Joe's before celebrating the arrival of the Wolf Road store.

Today, he's tilting at a new windmill. In fact, he's already created an Albany Museum of Political Corruption website and Facebook page to build support.

One thing's for sure: It's a fun museum to imagine.

Roter says visitors would be asked to pay a bribe instead of an admission fee. The cafeteria would serve pork. The gift shop, meanwhile, could have figurines that feature people in suits and say, "I bought this legislator in Albany, New York!"

I have a few ideas of my own.

How about a replica of the jail cell occupied by Alan Hevesi, the disgraced former comptroller?

Or since museums are increasingly interactive, why not an exhibit that lets visitors experience the excitement of wearing a wire? They could try to trick friends into admitting a crime.

Roter sees the museum as New York-centric, but I don't see why exhibits should stop at our border.

In an Illinois wing, for example, visitors could put on a Rod Blagojevich wig and pose for a mug shot. A Detroit feature could show how Kwame Kilpatrick enriched himself as his city crumbled. And let's not forget the congressional display — where museum visitors enter a revolving door that takes them from government to the private sector and back to government again.

I don't know about you, but that's one museum I'd visit — an instant tourist attraction unlike any other.

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Curators of the museum would face thorny questions, such as whether a politician need actually be convicted to be labeled corrupt. If not, Smith could escape the Hall of Shame if he's acquitted of the corruption charges he faces. And what about our own Joe Bruno, who had his original conviction vacated and may evade a new trial?

Also, should sexual peccadillos count as corruption? Including them would boost attendance, no doubt.

"Oh, look! Eliot Spitzer's black socks!!

"Oooooh. Anthony Weiner's cellphone!"

"Check out the hiking boots that Mark Sanford never wore!"

There's a serious side to the proposal, though. Roter says the museum would offer real lessons on political history and could host lectures on civic issues. Plus, a building devoted to political misdeeds — located near the Capitol, preferably — would serve as a warning to lawmakers.

"For the average person, the museum could serve as a house of horrors," Roter said. "But for politicians, it could serve as a house of mirrors."

The museum would also be our community's way of fighting back against the endless waves of political corruption that we feel powerless to stop. It'd be our way of saying, "If you come to Albany and besmirch our city's name, we're going to do our best to make sure the world remembers your crime."

Now, this project will need to be privately financed, because it won't get a penny of public money. The idea might also meet resistance from civic boosters who think a Museum of Public Corruption would only add to Albany's reputation as a slimy-behavior hotbed.

But the museum, I think, would actually counter that perception, because visitors would notice that most of the corruption bedeviling the Capitol is perpetrated by downstate pols. They'll see what we've long known: Much of the problem with "Albany" is New York City.

More importantly, a Museum of Political Corruption would bring international attention, revealing Albany as a city with a sense of humor. And it'd add color and fun to downtown in ways a convention center never could.

"I think this idea is really going to take off," Roter said.

Albany will be a better city if it does.