In a recent blog post, Ken Ham revealed a series of billboards Answers in Genesis would be purchasing to promote Ark Encounter.

Both of those strike me as false advertising. (I would know. I’ve been there.)

So I decided to help out the Creationists.

Ken Ham doesn’t owe me anything. He’s free to use these revisions as he sees fit. I’m sure God will reward me when the time comes.

For example, this suggestion refers to how you’ll be whisked away to a time when life was simpler:

And this one reminds you to lock your critical thinking securely in your glove compartment when you enter the (mostly empty) parking lot:

Just relax your senses and give in to the experience:

Ignore the drab surroundings. Just listen to the gentle Aussie’s voice remind you that you’re visiting Jesus-approved Disneyland:

(Hope we don’t have to pay extra for that extended E.)

And if Ham doesn’t want to erect these signs, maybe the Tri-State Freethinkers should take a look at them, given that their previous billboards were rejected.



