all: ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAYTO YOU ♪ ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY,DEAR STAN ♪ ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU [cheers and applause] - ALL RIGHT, NOW COME ON,OPEN PRESENTS, OPEN PRESENTS! - YEAH, OPEN MINE FIRST,STAN. IT'S THE RED ONE.- WHERE'S MINE? WHERE'S MINE, WHERE'S MINE,WHERE'S MINE? - HERE YOU GO, SWEETIE.- YAY! - WAIT, WAIT.IT'S STAN'S BIRTHDAY. - YES, EVERY TIME SOMEBODYGETS A BIRTHDAY PRESIDENT, ERIC GETS ONE TOO. OTHERWISE... [whispering]HE GETS A LITTLE UPSET. - WHAT I GET, WHAT I GETWHAT I GET? - OH, GOD. - OH, COOL, LEGOS.THANKS, BUTTERS. - I KNOW HOW YOU LIKE LEGOS.HAPPY BIRTHDAY! - OH, COOL, I GOTA RACING A GAME FOR XBOX. YOU GUYS SEE THAT?COOL, HUH? - HERE, THIS ONE'SFROM ME, STAN. - OH, THANKS, DUDE. - STAN'S GETTINGANOTHER PRESENT, MOM. - HERE YOU ARE, MUFFIN.- YAY! OH, COOL, LOOK!A BEN 10 WRIST ROCKET! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANTEDFOR STAN'S BIRTHDAY! WHAT'D YOU GET, STAN? - OH, COOL! IS THISTHE NEW GERSPLOOSH ALBUM? - YEAH, DUDE!- UH, HOLD IT. IS THAT A TWEEN WAVE BAND? - YEAH, THEY'RE THE BEST! - SORRY, STAN, YOU KNOWYOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO LISTEN TO THIS STUFF. - MOM, I'M TEN YEARS OLD NOW. - I'VE TOLD YOU WHAT I THINKOF THIS MUSIC, STANLEY. YOU HAVE PLENTYOF OTHER GIFTS TO ENJOY. - LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'SON THE RAG, HUH, MOM?

- SHARON, STAN TOLD MEYOU TOOK AWAY HIS MUSIC CD AT HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY. - OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I GAVE HIM A GREAT PARTYAND THAT'S ALL HE CARES ABOUT. - WELL, DO YOU THINKWE SHOULD BE TELLING OUR SON WHAT MUSIC HE CAN AND CAN'TLISTEN TO? - YES, I DO, IF IT'STHAT STUPID TWEEN WAVE GARBAGE. - TWEEN WAVE?- YOU HAVEN'T HEARD IT? IT'S TERRIBLE!IT'S HARDLY EVEN MUSIC. IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE CRAP. - SHARON, COME ON. DON'T YOU REMEMBERBEING YOUNGER AND HAVING OUR PARENTS SAYTHE MUSIC WE LIKED SOUNDED LIKE CRAP? - THIS IS DIFFERENT. - SO, HERE WE ARE. NOW WE'RE THE OLD PEOPLE WHO THINK THE YOUNGERGENERATION'S MUSIC SOUNDS LIKE SHIT. - IT'S NOT BECAUSE I'M OLDER. I'M TELLING YOU,OUR MUSIC WAS BETTER. - [mocking] BACK IN MY DAY,OUR MUSIC WAS BETTER! NOT THIS GARBAGETHE YOUNG'UNS LISTEN TO! WARBLE WARBLE WARBLE! - FINE, RANDY! YOU GO LISTEN TO ITAND TELL ME YOU DON'T THINK IT SOUNDSLIKE CRAP. - I'D LOVE TO. I'M NOT AN OLD FUDDY-DUDDY,SHARON. I'M STILL COOL.

[techno-pop melody] [flatulence] ♪ - WELL?IT SOUNDS LIKE CRAP, RIGHT? - UH, NO, I MEAN,I LIKE IT. - OH, COME ON!THAT MUSIC SOUNDS LIKE SHIT! - NO, IT'S JUST...YOUNG AND HIP SO YOU DON'T GET IT, SHARON. - ADMIT IT, RANDY! YOU THINK IT SOUNDSLIKE CRAP, TOO! - IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE CRAPAT ALL! [loud flatulence] I THINK IT'S AWESOME! - UGH! ♪ [high-pitched flatulence] [dramatic music] - IT'S CALLED "TWEEN WAVE,"AND IF YOU'RE A PARENT, YOUR KIDS ARE PROBABLYLISTENING TO IT. A NEW MUSIC GENRE FOR THE ERA FROM 2009THROUGH 2012, OR THE TWEENS. EVERY GENERATIONHAS THEIR MUSIC, BUT MANY PARENTS SAYTWEEN WAVE SOUNDS LIKE CRAP. - IT'S JUST VULGARAND STUPID, YOU KNOW? MUSIC USED TO BE GOOD! - THIS SOUNDS LIKE POO! - I CERTAINLY DON'T UNDERSTANDKIDS' MUSIC TODAY. SOUNDS LIKE DIARRHEA TO ME. - KIDS, HOWEVER, SAYTHEY DON'T HEAR CRAP AT ALL. - PARENTS ARE DUMB!- THEY DON'T GET IT! - THEY DON'T GET IT.PARENTS ARE STUPID! - TWEEN WAVE IS SWICK! - TWEEN WAVE IS SUPER SWICK. PARENTS DON'T GET IT'CAUSE THEIR EARS ARE OLD. - PARENTS ARE DUMB!

BUT WE HAVE ALL DECIDEDTHAT AS OF NOW NONE OF YOU ARE ALLOWEDTO LISTEN TO TWEEN WAVE MUSIC. - UGH!GOD, THAT'S SO UNFAIR! - BUT THAT'S OUR MUSIC.WE LIKE IT. - YEAH, IT'S GOOD! - WHAT'S GOODABOUT A BUNCH OF CRAP SOUNDS TO A DRUM BEAT? - WE DON'T KNOWWHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. IT DOESN'T SOUNDTHAT WAY TO US! - YEAH, IT DOESN'T SOUNDLIKE THAT TO US. - I WANT TO EDUCATE YOU KIDSWITH SOME REAL MUSIC. THIS IS THE POLICE. NOW YOU COMPARE THISTO TWEEN POP AND TELL US WHICH ONEYOU THINK IS REAL MUSIC. [soft rock melody] [flatulence] kids: UGH!- WHAT? - THAT SOUNDS LIKE SHIT. - WHAT DO YOU MEANIT SOUNDS LIKE SHIT? THIS DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SHIT. [flatulence] - GROSS!- TURN IT OFF, DUDE. - STANLEY, I WANT YOUTO UNDERSTAND THAT EVEN THOUGHI WON'T LET YOU LISTEN TO CERTAIN KINDS OF MUSIC,I STILL LOVE YOU. - I KNOW, MOM.I LOVE YOU TOO. - SOON YOU WILL BE OLD ENOUGHTO MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES. BUT FOR NOW I JUST DON'T WANTYOU LISTENING TO THAT STUFF. - IT'S OKAY, MOM.I UNDERSTAND. - THAT'S VERY MATURE OF YOU,STANLEY. GOOD NIGHT, SWEETIE.- NIGHT. HA HA! [techno-pop melody] ♪ [flatulence] [techno-pop melody] ♪ [flatulence] UGH! [upbeat pop melody] ♪ [flatulence] [loud flatulence] [hip-hop melody] [flatulence] [upbeat pop music,flatulence] WHAT THE HELL? [scanning throughflatulence]

- OH, DUDE! DUDE, THIS ISTHE PART I WAS TALKING ABOUT. CHECK OUT THE BASS LINEON THIS. - OH, YEAH, THAT ONE'S COOL. [humming along] YEAH, THIS PART'S KILLER! [humming along] - HEY, STAN.- HEY, DUDES. - DUDE, HAVE YOU REALLYLISTENED TO THIS SIXTH TRACK? I THINKIT'S MY NEW FAVORITE. - YEAH, YEAH,I'VE LISTENED TO IT. UM, KYLE, CAN I TALK TO YOUALONE FOR A SECOND? - SURE. WHAT'S UP? - KYLE, I HAVE TO ADMITSOMETHING TO YOU. YOU KNOW HOW I TOLD YOUOVER THE PHONE I LIKE THE NEWGERSPLOOSH ALBUM? I LIED.I DON'T LIKE IT. I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL, KYLE. - OH. REALLY?WELL, THAT'S OKAY. - NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND,DUDE. SOMETHING'S HAPPENED. TWEEN WAVE DOESN'T SOUNDTHE SAME TO ME. - WHY?WHAT'S IT SOUND LIKE? - IT...KIND OF SOUNDSLIKE SHIT. - WHAT? YOU MEAN YOU DON'T LIKETHE SINGING OR THE LYRICS OR WHAT? - NO, I MEAN IT SOUNDSLIKE SOMEBODY IS SHITTING IN MY EARS! PLEASE, JUST LISTENREALLY CLOSE. YOU DON'T HEAR SHIT?- NO. - THAT DOESN'T SOUNDLIKE SHIT TO YOU? - NO! DUDE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD SEEA DOCTOR.

THAT I REALLY LIKEDA YEAR AGO AND IT SOUNDED LIKE SHITTO ME. - UH-HUH.AND WHAT ABOUT FOOD? ARE SOME OF THE THINGSYOU THOUGHT TASTED GOOD TASTING LIKE SHITTO YOU NOW TOO? - YEAH! I USED TO LOVETHESE POP ROCK THINGS, AND I TRIED THEMTHE OTHER DAY, AND I THOUGHTTHEY TASTED LIKE SHIT! - THIS SAYS YOU HADA BIRTHDAY RECENTLY? - I JUST TURNED TEN.- WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE. YOU SEE, STAN,AS YOU GET OLDER, YOUR EARDRUMS, TASTE BUDS,ALL THAT STUFF DEVELOPS AND CHANGES. - SO THIS IS NORMAL?- IT'S VERY NORMAL. LET'S JUST DOA QUICK EAR EXAM. I'M GONNA PLAYSOME TWEEN WAVE MUSIC AND YOU TELL MEWHAT YOU HEAR. [pop melody] [flatulence] WHAT'S THAT SOUND LIKETO YOU? - SOUNDS LIKE SHIT.- UH-HUH. NOW I'M GONNA PLAY YOUSOME GOOD OLD BOB DYLAN. [folk music] - ♪ FEEL LIKE I--[flatulence] ♪ - THAT SOUNDS LIKE SHIT TOO. - WAIT, THIS SOUNDSLIKE SHIT TO YOU? [flatulence] - ♪ HEY, FELLA [flatulence] - YEAH, DUDE, IT'S JUST SHIT. - WELL, THAT'S VERY STRANGE.[music stops] HMM. I'M GONNA TRYSOMETHING ELSE. LOOK AT THESE TWO PICTURES. ONE OF THEM IS AN AD FOR KEVIN JAMES'NEW MOVIE THE ZOOKEEPER AND THE OTHERIS A TURD IN A MICROWAVE. WHICH ONE IS THE ADFOR THE ZOOKEEPER? - THEY BOTH LOOK THE SAME. - YOU DON'T SEE ANY DIFFERENCEIN THE PICTURES? - NO. - THAT IS AN ADFOR THE ZOOKEEPER AND THAT IS A TURDABOUT TO BE REHEATED. - THEY BOTH LOOK LIKE TURDSABOUT TO BE REHEATED TO ME. - OH, DEAR, I THINK I KNOWWHAT THIS IS. YOU SEE, STAN,AS YOU GET OLDER, THINGS THAT YOU USED TO LIKE START LOOKINGAND SOUNDING LIKE SHIT, AND THINGS THAT SEEMEDSHITTY AS A CHILD DON'T SEEM AS SHITTY. WITH YOU, SOMEHOW,THE WIRES HAVE GOTTEN CROSSED AND EVERYTHING LOOKSAND SOUNDS LIKE SHIT TO YOU. IT'S A CONDITION CALLEDBEING A CYNICAL ASSHOLE. - OH, NO.- YES. AND THERE IS NO KNOWN CURE,I'M AFRAID. EVERYTHING JUST SEEMS SHITTY, AND EVERYONESTARTS TO SEEM SHITTY, AND EVERYTHING THEY SAYJUST STARTS TO... [flatulence noises]

[flatulence over headphones] - RANDY, DO YOU MIND CLEANING UPTHE GARAGE LIKE I ASKED YOU? - GET OUT OF MY ROOM! I'M LISTENING TO MY MUSIC!GAH! - STOP PRETENDING TO LIKETHE KIDS' MUSIC, RANDY! IT'S PATHETIC! YOU KNOW DAMN WELLIT SOUNDS LIKE CRAP TO YOU TOO! - NO, IT DOESN'T SOUNDLIKE CRAP TO ME! [loud flatulence]UGH! - RANDY, DON'T YOU SEEWHAT THIS IS? YOU HAD DREAMSOF BEING A ROCK STAR WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER. NOW YOU CAN'T ADMITTHE NEXT GENERATION'S MUSIC SOUNDS SHITTY. IT'S CALLEDGETTING OLDER, RANDY. IT'S OKAY!- THAT'S NOT TRUE! I THINK TWEEN WAVE MUSICIS COMPLEX AND AWESOME AND IT SPEAKS TO MY YOUTHFUL,REBELLIOUS SPIRIT, SHARON. - IT'S CRAP, RANDY! IT'S SO SIMPLE AND STUPIDTHAT ANYBODY COULD PLAY IT. - ANYBODY COULD PLAY IT?DO YOU REALLY THINK SO?

HEY, EVERYBODY! I WANT TO THANK YOU ALLFOR COMING TONIGHT. MY NAME'SSTEAMY RAY VAUGHN AND HERE'S A LITTLE BITOF RATTLESNAKE. A ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR! [rock melody] ♪ I GOT A FEVER BUTIT'S UNDER CONTROL ♪ [rhythmic flatulence] ♪ I SAID I GOT A FEVER,NEED TO TAKE IT KINDA SLOW ♪ [rhythmic flatulence] ♪ ♪ I GOT A FEVER,BUT IT'S UNDER CONTROL ♪ ♪ GUH GUH GA GA DA DA DA [flatulence] - YOU SUCK! - NO, YOU JUST DON'TUNDERSTAND TWEEN WAVE 'CAUSE YOU'RE OLD! [flatulence, feedback] - DID YOU KNOW WE'RE LIVINGIN THE TWEEN TIME? - I'D HEARD THAT. - GUESS IT'S THE PERIODBETWEEN 2009 AND 2013. THEY CALL IT THE TWEENS. SO THEY'VE GOT THIS FELLERDOWN AT THE BOWLING ALLEY. HE GETS UP ON HIS STAGEAND SHITS HIS BRITCHES. - WHAT FOR? - I DON'T KNOW,BUT HE GETS UP THERE, STRUMS A GUITAR,AND THEN STARTS LOADING HIS BRITCHES UPLIKE IT'S GOING OUT OF STYLE. [snorts] IT'S LIKE SOME KIND OFBRITCHES HOLOCAUST. FELLER CALLS HIMSELFSTEAMY RAY VAUGHN. - YOU MEAN THAT GUYTHAT PLAYS THE BLUES AND DIEDIN AN AIRPLANE CRASH? - NO.THAT'S STEVIE RAY VAUGHN. STEAMY RAY VAUGHNJUST SHITS HIS BRITCHES. - OH, DUDE, SWEET!TACKLE HIM.

- ALL RIGHT, GUYS,DO YOU THINK HE'S LYING OR TELLING THE TRUTH? - HE'S LYING, DUDE.HIT "X". - [muffled]NO, HE'S TELLING THE TRUTH! - HEY, GUYS.- HEY, STAN. WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY? - HE SAID I HAVE CYNICISM. - WHAT'S THAT? - SOMETHING YOU CAN GETWHEN YOU GET OLDER, BUT IT'S STUPID. I'M NOT CYNICAL. ALL THE DOCTOR WANTSIS A PAYCHECK. I WENT TO HIM FOR HELPAND HE JUST STOOD THERE SPOUTING A BUNCH OF SHIT. - OH, WELL, COME ON.WE'RE PLAYING L.A. NOIRE. - OH, THAT SHITTY GAME? WHO PLAYS VIDEO GAMES TO LISTENTO A BUNCH OF CHARACTERS TALK AND PRESSTHE "X" BUTTON? - OH, ASK HIM ABOUTTHE MURDER NOW, KYLE. - YEAH, WE GOT HIM! - HOW CAN PEOPLE SAYTHIS GAME IS COOL? IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTERWHAT CHOICES YOU MAKE. - [muffled]HIT THE "Y" BUTTON, KYLE! - WE'RE GONNA LEVEL UPTO DETECTIVE! - THAT'S SUCH A SHITTY DEVICETO KEEP PEOPLE PLAYING. - ALL RIGHT, WHY DON'T WE DOSOMETHING ELSE? - AW, DUDE,THIS LOOKS LIKE SHIT. - YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT IT? - IT JUST LOOKS LIKE SHITTO ME. BUNCH OF PROCESSED,GOOEY SHIT. - LOOKS LIKE ICE CREAM TO ME. - OKAY, I KNOW.HOW ABOUT WE GO TO THE MALL? - UGH! A BUNCH OF PEOPLE TRYINGTO SELL US A BUNCH OF SHIT. - UH, OKAY, STAN,WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? - WHAT? OH, I DON'T CARE.I'M COOL WITH WHATEVER.

♪ TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH,SHITTY BOP ♪ ♪ TOO MUCH,TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH ♪ [rhythmic flatulence] - LORD!I AIN'T NEVER SEEN BRITCHES TAKE A WHUPPIN'LIKE THAT. - I TOLD YOU, THEM BRITCHESDON'T STAND A CHANCE. - ♪ SHITTY BOP,SHITTY YEAH ♪ [flatulence] THANK YOU.THANK YOU SO MUCH. I'D LIKE TO BRING UPA SPECIAL GUEST NOW. THE OTHER NIGHT,I WAS CHATTING IN A TWEEN WAVE CHAT ROOM, BECAUSE I DO LOVETWEEN WAVE SO MUCH, AND I STARTED CHATTINGWITH THIS NICE LADY WHO ALSO REALLY LIKEDHER KIDS' TWEEN WAVE MUSIC AND TURNS OUT SHE'SA TALENTED ARTIST AS WELL. PLEASE WELCOMEMISS STEAMY NICKS. - THANK YOU.THANK YOU SO MUCH. - WAIT NOW,WHO'S THAT LADY? - THAT THERE'SSTEAMY NICKS. - YOU MEAN THAT GALWHO PLAYED FOR FLEETWOOD MAC AND WROTE THAT SONG LANDSLIDE? - NO.THAT'S STEVIE NICKS. STEAMY NICKS JUST SHITSHER BRITCHES. [rhythmic flatulence] - ♪ YA YA YA - WHO THE HELLIS THAT WOMAN, RANDY? WHAT THE HELLDO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? - I AGREE. WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE THEMPOOR BRITCHES ALONE? - THEM BRITCHESHAVE HAD ENOUGH.

- YEAH, IT SUCKS. ALL MY FRIENDSARE SICK WITH THE FLU. - WELL,WHAT CAN I GET YOU? - DO YOU HAVEANYTHING ON THE MENU THAT DOESN'T TASTE LIKE SHIT? - A LITTLE YOUNG TO BESO PESSIMISTIC, AREN'T YOU, KID? - WHY? THERE'S NOTHINGBUT SHIT ON TV, VIDEO GAMES ARE ALL SHIT,AND THE WORLD'S A BIG TURD. THE ONLY THING THAT DOESN'TSEEM LIKE TOTAL SHIT TO ME ARE MY FRIENDS,AND THEY'RE ALL SICK. JUST GET ME A CHEESEBURGERAND TELL THE CHEF TO GO EASY ON THE SHIT. [laughter] - I KNOW!THAT SHOW'S HILARIOUS. - I THOUGHT YOU GUYSWERE SICK. - UH, WE'LL LET YOUCATCH UP TO US, KYLE. COME ON, KENNY. - DUDE, YOU TOTALLY LIEDTO ME! - NO, I DIDN'T LIE TO YOU.I WAS ON A-- I FELT BETTER,AND THEN THE GUYS CALLED, SAID THEY FELT BETTER, AND-- - WHERE WEREYOU GUYS GOING? - ALL RIGHT, DUDE, WE WEREGOING TO THE MOVIES. - WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?I WANT TO GO TO THE MOVIES. - LOOK, STAN, WE JUST WANTEDTO BE ABLE TO GO TO THE MOVIES AND ENJOY OURSELVES,YOU KNOW? I'M SORRY, BUT YOU'REA BUMMER TO BE AROUND. EVERYTHING IS"THAT LOOKS LIKE SHIT" AND "THIS IS SHITTY." - YOU GUYS DON'T WANT TOBE AROUND ME? - LOOK, DUDE,IT'S JUST ONE MOVIE. WE WANT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. - PLEASE, KYLE, I CAN CHANGEMY ATTITUDE, I PROMISE. LET ME GOTO THE MOVIES WITH YOU. - [sighs] OKAY. BUT YOU GOTTA PROMISETO NOT COMPLAIN. - I WON'T SAY A WORD. OH, SHIT.

- JESUS, HOW LONG BEFORE THEYSTART THIS GODDAMN THING? - OH, COOL,MOVIE TRAILERS! - ADAM SANDLER IS JACK. ADAM SANDLER IS JILL. [flatulence] - OH, GOD! - DUDE, YOU SAIDYOU WOULDN'T SAY EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE SHIT. - SORRY IF I SEE THINGSFOR WHAT THEY ARE. OKAY, OKAY, I'M SORRY. - THIS NOVEMBER, ADAM SANDLERSHITS IN YOUR EYES, EARS AND MOUTH. [flatulence] IT'S ADAM SANDLER IN...[flatulence] RATED ARG FOR PIRATES.FUCK YOU. - THAT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD. - HOW CAN YOU SAYTHAT LOOKS GOOD? - SHH!YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN. - JIM CARREY HAS A BUNCHOF TURDS IN HIS APARTMENT. [flatulence]- UGH! - STAN, KNOCK IT OFF!- BUT IT'S JUST CRAP! - NO, THEY'RE PENGUINS.STOP IT! - IT'S JIM CARREY IN WHATEVER, YOU'LL PAY TO GO SEE IT, FUCK YOU. JULY 12. THE PRESIDENT OFTHE UNITED STATES...IS A DUCK? [flatulence] A DUCK IS PRESIDENT,AND THE WHOLE COUNTRY IS GOING TO THE DOGS. OR WHATEVER.THE PRESIDENT IS A DOG. WHO CARES?COMING JUNE SOMETHING. [flatulence] - OH, COME ON, PEOPLE!- THAT'S IT, STAN. I'M NOT SITTING THROUGHA WHOLE MOVIE WITH YOU. - OH, DUDE, DUDE,WAIT, I'M SORRY! - NO, KYLE'S RIGHT.YOU SUCK, DUDE. - ME?DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT?

- DUDE, WE DON'T WANT TOHANG OUT WITH YOU ANYMORE! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD! - KYLE? - DUDE,YOU'VE--YOU'VE CHANGED. - I HAVEN'T CHANGED.THE WORLD HAS. DON'T YOU SEE IT?- NO! AND I DON'T WANT TO. LOOK, STAN, MAYBE WE SHOULDJUST--[flatulence] - YOU DON'T GET IT, SHARON!YOU NEVER HAVE! AND THAT'S SUPPOSEDTO BE MY FAULT? - YES, IT IS YOUR FAULT,RANDY, BECAUSE YOU'RE A CHILD! - WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSEIS GOING ON IN THERE? - SOUNDS LIKESTEAMY RAY VAUGHN IS GOING AT IT WITH HIS WIFE OVER STEAMY NICKS. - YOU SUREYOU WANT TO DO THIS? - WE'VE GOT TO NOW. IF THEY'RE FIGHTING, IT'S OUR BEST CHANCETO SAVE THEM BRITCHES. - YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME! FIRST, YOU'RE OBSESSEDWITH BASEBALL FIGHTS! THEN YOU NEEDTO PLAY WARCRAFT! THEN YOU'VE GOTTABE A CELEBRITY CHEF! - WHY CAN'T YOU EVERJUST SUPPORT ME? - SUPPORT WHAT? ANOTHER STUPIDDREAM OF YOURS? - FACE IT, SHARON,OUR SON TURNED TEN AND YOU FEEL OLD. - WHAT DOES OUR SONTURNING TEN HAVE TO DO WITH YOUMAKING THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN AND AGAIN? - BECAUSE I'M UNHAPPY, OKAY? I HAVE BEEN UNHAPPYFOR A LONG TIME! - I'M UNHAPPY TOO. WE BOTH ARE, OBVIOUSLY. HOW MUCH LONGERCAN WE KEEP DOING THIS? IT'S LIKE THE SAME SHITJUST HAPPENS OVER AND OVER, AND THEN IN A WEEKIT JUST ALL RESETS UNTIL IT HAPPENS AGAIN. EVERY WEEK IT'S KIND OFTHE SAME STORY IN A DIFFERENT WAY, BUT IT JUST KEEPS GETTINGMORE AND MORE RIDICULOUS. - COME ON, BRITCHES,WE'RE SETTING YOU FREE. - I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE CHANGEDOR YOU HAVE. I JUST FEEL LIKE I MIGHT NOTHAVE A WHOLE LOT OF TIME LEFT, AND I WANT TO ENJOY IT. - I WANT TO ENJOY IT, TOO, BUT I CAN'T FAKE ITANYMORE. YOU JUST SEEMKIND OF SHITTY TO ME. - YOU KIND OF SEEM SHITTYTO ME TOO. - PEOPLE GET OLDER, RANDY. PEOPLE GROW APART. [Landslide playing]