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痛兮生哉

观亦由之

匿亦由之 Painful is birth

with that we see

in that we hide. 往而求光

彼亦求汝

于此九喻 Look there for light

it looks for you

among the Ji u y u . 俄尔今者

夫汝所知

其破其陨 Quickly, now

all that you know

is broken. 夫汝所知

灭而无果

无束无拘 All that you know

comes undone

unconfined.

Smell is the first sense that returns to me. What… is this? It feels as if it is drifting in through my eyes like a shade of violet.

Yet, I smell it.

Taste returns now, slower than smell. It does not drift as smell did — it jabs me like a knife through my skin. The word it says, I can taste it: wu, awaken, 悟. The word speaks in a round of colors, sounds, lifting me higher above the stars.

I can see now as I am merged ever so gently into the shimmering object above me. It calms me and the stars disappear and I open my eyes.

"Qiu…" A voice echoes like a bell in my skull, "Qiu… the burning is complete."

Shaking my head, my vision feels blurry as if a veil of translucent cloth covers my face.

"Who is th—" My voice… is that my voice? "Who is there?" It sounds like glass, I can see the words shattering as they leave my lips.

"Do not ask such questions, metta metta." The voice, where is it?

With a groan, I look down at myself. Black suit, white and newly ironed button-down shirt, firearm tucked safely in its leather holster, my four legs shifting through themselves in time with the music.

"Wait…" I blink and the world blinks out of existence before returning as my eyes open. "Two…" Reaching down to touch my legs, I exhale in relief as I feel the texture of the fabric.

Keeping my eyes open, staring through the veil, I need to remind myself what I know… who I am.

"I am Kuang Qiu. I am thirty-six. My mother… Suen Feng. My father… Kuang Chaichi." With each statement, the veil seems to clear. The vision of the space around me clearing. "I… I am a Commander."

"Oh, are you?" That voice again! Where is it?

"Yes! I am!" I speak with confidence as the veil finally falls from my eyes and I can see.

With a gasp, I take in the impossible nature of my surroundings. Gold columns rise above me endlessly, though I can see the very top as beings with hundreds of arms dance upon them to a silent rhythm. They jerk back and forth on their impossible platforms as shimmering gold pours from their open mouths. The columns growing ever taller but descending ever closer.

Surrounding me is a vast sea of blue and white, pulsing and undulating to the same rhythm. Why can't I hear it?…

The sea crashes against me with violent force but I am unmoving. It seems to rush away from me, as if in fear. From the escaping seas, a figure appears in ten separate directions. Despite me looking straight ahead, I can see them all at once.

A tall man shifting in height with every step as he approaches me. His skin is metallic, a deep shade of violet swirling with spirals of gold and silver forming patterns, symbols, letters. He is beautiful, flawless in every way.

"Kuang Qiu." He speaks, the voice from before. It is this man, I realize, though his beautiful mouth does not open. "You are not supposed to be here." He finally gets close to me, surrounded on all ten sides.

".ma I erehw dnatsrednu ton od I …kcab og em tel ,esaelP" I bring my hand up to my throat as my words escape from my mouth in a way I do not recognize.

"Metta metta, Kuang Qiu. I cannot set you back. Not until you understand." The beautiful man reaches out, his ten arms placing themselves on my head. I can feel my heart frantically beating out of my chest as it falls out, a wet squelching noise echoing through the vast expanse before it slides in to the endless sea.

I concentrate on speaking, though the difficulty of doing so grows with every moment, "I am dreaming. I must be dreaming." Anger and frustration wells up inside me and I bring up my hands to violently shove the man away from me, "No! I am dreaming! Do not touch me!" My hand collides with his chest.

The sound of the man's screams lifts me above him, the platform below me rising up swiftly… or the space around me is lowering. I cannot tell.

"Metta! Metta!" The man screams from below. He multiplies and his form shifting into a grotesquely gorgeous being, climbing upon himself, "You must understand! You must understand!"

The beings of many arms atop their golden columns dance and dance, the golden liquid gushing from their mouth, filling the sea below. The blue, gold, and white rising to envelop the grotesque man. The screaming becomes silence and he disappears below the rising tides of color.

With an exhale, I look above me. Just as I do so, a glowing white sphere collides with my being and everything goes white.