Attraction is a desperate roll of the dice, where both look at each other in eyes, maybe take a shot and then look down to see if the numbers match. The highest falls in love. There’s too many rules which let the world dwell upon. And I couldn’t keep looking at Will, as my hands would tremble packing away all the clothes, his already packed. He packed overnight, while I was asleep, trying to escape some reality I couldn’t wake up to. I got up through Will shaking me, telling me that I would miss my flight. I didn’t know how the fuck would I manage to walk through anything and holding very heavy luggage, even if I had to push it.

He just stared at me, I’m guessing he hadn’t woken up that long ago. I could see the perfect shape of Will’s cock, which was begging to at least peak out of his pajamas.

Sexuality is a curse, which ends up telling you how many will just end up hating you for it and the more deviant you become, the worst it gets, trans was already enough of a handful. Keeping your mouth shut is one thing, but there is envy about those who can speak freely and parents will take out a camera and say that you’re doing great and that they will support you regardless. But my parents wanted to hear nothing about a cock up my ass. And I never was shy enough to speak of how much I had wanted to lose my virginity and how I would just sit in my room, growing up and watching ridiculous amounts of porn. I was an early bloomer and it didn’t help knowing about the rumors which were circulating about guys getting laid. I didn’t want to hear much about the girls they fucked and how their chests bounced, I wanted to hear how the boys would keep thrusting harder and harder, focusing on how hard their cocks would get. I wanted to get fucked.

I started thinking and softly asking about the most desperate guys. I would hear their stories, of how they would grab someone and how they would fuck them, describing cum leaking out and I wanted that to happen to me. I didn’t shy away from gay porn either. I would watch it, wondering how would it feel to just slide it, push in and spread a guy underneath me.

I knew I liked guys from all the stories.

I knew I liked guys from the moment I had seen Victor with his pants down in the gym locker room. I had forgotten my fucking running shoes, so I went back and there he was. He was taking out his huge cock to a very eager mouth. A guy who I barely knew was on his knees, stark naked. The guy had his mouth open and his tongue out. As soon as he took his cock out, the guy licked the underside of it, closing his eyes, kissing the tip afterwards.

“Is that all you’re going to do”, Victor hissed, and grabbed the guy by the hair, thrusting deep into his mouth, causing the boy to gag. He then proceeded to hold him down, I saw his nails digging into his palms as he was getting face-fucked. I didn’t know whether I should approach them or not, after all would I want to get in trouble with Victor, an honor student? The honor student’s glasses were off, maybe he decided to wear contacts today. I keep staring at his body, at his small amount of chest hair and trimmed balls which were nearly slapping the guy on the face at that point.

The guy kept gagging, trying to push away the honor student. Eventually Victor let go of the guy’s hair and the guy started gasping for air.

“You call that a blow job?” The honor student cocked his head, his dick fully erect and wet from all the saliva. “Time to fuck that whore hole of yours.”

The guy looked up, a bit pale and still recovering.

“You think a sloppy blow job would be enough?”I hid behind the lockers, myself wet and I had my hands on both sides, holding from stroking my virgin luck. The honor student laughed.

“You wanted this, so fucking take it like a man.” Victor pushed the guy on the ground. The guy didn’t protest much, but on the opposite he took his shaking hands and spread his ass.

“Good boy.”

The honor student slid in with his big cock, causing a wince from the guy.

“You- you’re so big”, he breathed out, moaning.

“Even better”, he replied grabbing him by the chin, moving his head sideways. A second thrust and the honor student’s cock was fully inside, spreading the guy completely and he was very vocal about it. “Think of the thick load I’ll breed you with. That’s the only lube you’ll get.”

The other guy kept moaning after each thrust with nothing to clutch onto, receiving so much pleasure that he couldn’t reply anything back, which I’m guessing caused Victor to stop for a while, taking his big cock out of him.

“Please…” Gasp. “Keep fucking me, it feels so good.”

It wasn’t enough.

“I’ve never had such a big cock inside me.”

One long thrust from the honour student.

“My boyfriend isn’t as big. Please.” Face down and desperately reaching to stroke his cock, which Victor slaps away.

“An easy fuck like you will keep flowing with cum, regardless.” The honour student’s breathing gets heavier as he leans his head back. “Whore.”

“Fucking behind your boyfriend’s back. You think he’d like to hear of this?” A very loud moan from the other guy comes out as the thrusting continues, it becomes heavier and needier. I am barely holding from touching myself, I just want to stroke and start teasing myself to all this delight that I am seeing. I want to keep them fucking, I want to keep watching, I want the other guy’s ass destroyed even if it clearly is.

“D-don’t tell. Don’t tell. Don’t tell.” He chants like a mantra and I see that his cock is twitching, he is going to actually come from pure penetration and the pure pleasure from it.

“That you begged me to fuck you because you heard that I’ve got a nice cock to fill that hungry hole of yours?” Victor himself is barely holding, but he takes out his cock again. He’s breathing heavily and I can’t help but stare at his cock, which is clearly the star of the show. I wouldn’t mind him pushing me onto the floor, ass up and fucking me too. The other guy gasps, hoping that he would get fucked again, but the momentum is held. The honour student inserts two fingers up the other guy’s ass, which is clearly not enough for him.

“I need your cock.” He’s leaking with precum, gasping. “I need your cock. Please, fingers isn’t enough. Yes, I’m a whore.”

He’s barely breathing and now his hand is desperately stroking his cock, which is allowed by the honour student, I’m guessing as a warm up because what the guy truly wants is to get fucked hard. He turns around, his hair a tousled mess to look at Victor and I have to hide behind the gym lockers further to make sure that I’m not noticed, but I think at this point that the guy simply wouldn’t care.

“Please. I need your cock deep up my ass. Fuck me like the cock hungry whore I am.” And the honour student pulls the guy by the hair, thrusting deep inside him, earning a scream from the other guy and a slick trail of cum from the other guy’s penis. He starts gasping loudly, jerking his hand up and down, as the honour student doesn’t even bother to stop thrusting, getting even more turned on like an animal, clutching the guy’s hips and thrusting deeper and deeper.

“Whore!” The honor student gasps and pushes his hips as deep as he can into the shaking other guy. He thrusts slower now, easing up and cum slowly starting to drip down the other guy’s legs as the honour student takes his cock out.

The honour student soaks his fingers in his cum, before sliding them inside the other guy’s asshole again, receiving a very tired moan from him.

I felt like I knew who to approach now.

Victor was still clutching the other guy’s hips, moving a hand up to get hair out of his eyes. My heart was pounding fast and my underwear was soaked. I wanted Victor to fuck me like that. I needed him to fuck me like that. I wanted to be his cock and cum hungry whore. But I couldn’t declare it right now. I would have to approach Victor some other time and because I wasn’t bad at subjects, I couldn’t think of an excuse then. All I did was shamelessly wait for them to leave, hiding behind the lockers and then touching my poor neglected parts. I teased myself by stroking my own small cock, knowing that no one else would show up and then I slowly began stroking myself, my other hand’s fingers sliding inside me. I closed my eyes, wondering how the fuck would Victor’s cock even feel there. The honour student felt like porn material.

Fingers weren’t enough, but the image of Victor thrusting viciously into the guy’s ass was enough to make me cum and be pleased with myself for the rest of the day. I had felt that I had accomplished something small that day, some minor gay step, because I had seen two guys fuck, but it was really some sort of awakening and I knew that I would only be fucking from there.

At the next blink of the eye I was at the airport, saying my goodbyes to Will, knowing that soon we would never see each other again and we were both to blame. Too many things were tried and too many times we were spent apart, trying to chase something else until Will had fallen in love with someone who frankly was a person which was too jealous to be open, which I had hissed at Will for, that it would never work. How did he imagine being monogamous if he had been polyamorous with so many boyfriends and affairs for so many years with me? To which he replied that I wasn’t the right person-

I wasn’t the right person

But I went on my knees before we left. He had woken me up early, the bastard, knowing what we had both wanted. I traced the cock with my fingers on his pajama pants, allowing the tip to slowly peak out with its pink undertone which I longed to taste.

“Is this how you’re starting a relationship with your new boyfriend?”

“Shut the fuck up and suck me.” But his voice was still velvety, you can’t ever discard love. You can only pretend to throw it out maliciously, but even if you’ll be shot dead by a lover and carried to the grave to spend your last moments there alone, love will never wither. Will put his fingers on my cheek, as I exposed his cock by pulling his dumb pajamas down. I always hated them with their little stripes, but he would always get terribly cold at night. I wondered if he didn’t get cold with Patrick, his new boyfriend, but who the hell knew? His cock was about to be in my mouth then.

“I always thought there was an appeal to cheating.” I said and put my hand on Will’s cock, stroking it harshly. “Always loved fucking the desperate guys who had girlfriends, boyfriends who weren’t giving them enough sex. They were always so desperate.”

“They were fun.” Will gasps, closing his eyes. I stroke him harder and more often, deciding that my tongue will do better talking than licking.

“That time we fucked a married guy both. He was desperate for some cock up his ass, which he hadn’t had since university. Knocked some girl over, married her and then came to us.” I smirk at him, but Will’s eyes are closed and he thrusts against my hand.

“He wanted both of us to plow him, fuck him so hard he would be crying. He did, he was begging us not to stop.” I pause and stroke as hard as I can. “And then we both fucked his ass at the same time, stretching that tight hole of his.”

And Will’s orgasm reaches him, as he bites the back of his hand, his cock ejaculating and I close my eyes, feeling the warmth against my face for one last time.

I actually do start crying at the airport, thinking of photos we had taken while waiting for connections together and I see some woman eye me. Maybe she thinks I’m straight, surely that I’m not missing my boyfriend of so many years which I had split with. Maybe it was all always commitment which I feared, which we both feared, maybe we should’ve spent more time together instead of fucking strangers and thinking other ways to do it. But I would miss the mornings where one of us would crawl back and tell the other over breakfast, all red eyed from a night of fucking and little sleep, just to come back in time for the partner of the time to go to work or back to their life, forgetting the sex they just had. Sex was always like a game, but we enjoyed it. We enjoyed fucking loads of men and getting fucked. We enjoyed sharing it with each other, but clearly Will ended with something else.

I stared at the lady with her own bags full of souvernirs and I just wanted to leave. I didn’t want to see any tacky magnets or mugs, I just wanted to leave and I was even looking forward to unboxing the items which would be sent to me, so give them a new home. I didn’t want to leave, I didn’t want both days of us leaving to collide into one.

Of course it wasn’t the first time that I would be left alone, but at the airport I started thinking of the other guy which just left a while after Victor did, trying to recollect his thoughts. With years and experience I realized that pillow talk mattered to me, that I just wanted to hear what was lurking in the depths of the heart and who he had wished was instead of me on the side of the bed, just after fucking like a maniac. The thing was that people viewed sex as filth and specifically gay sex, that it was some animalistic desire and it was at times. At times I wouldn’t care who it was on the other side, I didn’t care who I had slid into and who was fucking me without a condom, because I had gone on prep, birth control and was too drunk to care.

But when it came to loneliness and lovers, I wanted to hear what was troubling them. I wanted to bitterly look into their lives, knowing that it was never a cry for help. Sometimes silence and a shrug for me to leave was enough to paint the guy as well with his troubles. At those times, I just wanted to leave from the bad shag as well, but sex exposes us fully and the talk afterwards.

I had no idea about Victor then and I just leaned my head back, as if I could see Will again, upside down and he would kiss me, a thrill of the years when it was harder to kiss each other whirlwind around us. It was odd to see this new generation growing up with fears I didn’t understand, because we were moving forwards, we weren’t getting taps on the back, but the acceptance was silent. Hate would always be louder, but the younger guys don’t remember how it was before.

Sometimes it takes a few fucks to crack a guy open like an oyster and see all the slimy pearls, which should somehow make sense and hold value.

But it was the first time Will left me and for good and it was for a reason beyond me, because we had always been open, telling about how much we would like to raw that guy and the neighbour, seeing who was up to his taste and then taking turns of taking it up the ass.

Our life was a sex fest and now he went to settle.

I still had time.

But I would never settle and Will knew that.

Even if I found it hard to stand up from a hookup.

‘But do you sometimes feel lonely’ isn’t the thing to ask a hookup either and I feel like next time I do it, because you don’t find a boyfriend right off the bat, it won’t be the right thing to ask.

I wanted Will to say something, I wanted Will to say anything.

But my mind drifted to Victor again. Perhaps I always thought that Will and Victor contained the same pearls, that sex would be above everything, their own pleasure and in a way, Will did find his pleasure above mine. He had broken a vow and left me.

I had become obsessed, thinking how the fuck would I manage to even take Victor’s huge cock up inside my holes, it had been the biggest I had seen. Of course now I won’t be sure who was even the biggest, but being a teenager his cock was more than enough. I started becoming obsessed, inserting more fingers inside me, but at the same time I wanted him to push in hard and spread me just like he wanted to. I wanted to feel pain, I wanted to feel every inch and every thrust. I wanted to be the perfect virgin for him.

I thought he would be alone, but instead he was talking to a teacher, who we all referred to as Arthur because he just wanted to be hip and cool and was in those ages, where he could still pass into a young club and perfectly get laid. I looked at them both, we were all late to whatever was the next class. But Victor kept talking to Arthur, motioning about some essay, I think. And they stopped to look at me. I didn’t know what the fuck was I doing and why was I with them. My head was fuzzy and I was wet because I had been preparing myself to talk to Victor, to plead him to fuck me. To plead him to even show off that cock of his.

“Sorry, Arthur.” I say. “I just… wanted to talk to Victor.”

And they both exchanged glances, as if no one ever approached Victor for anything else. Maybe no one ever did. But I wasn’t friends with the gay guys, I tried to stay normal as possible, I would just keep listening to the stories over and over about girls overflowing with cum and how good it felt to be inside one and I would watch porn on my own as well. Arthur loosened his tie a bit and looked at me. I looked at him, probably with too much of a turned on baby face, I looked at his toned body, because I assumed that it was just how it went. Maybe guys would just work out to have the greatest sex of their life afterwards, who knew. I didn’t back then.

The beauty of life is that if you kick a tree, a horny gay guy will fall out of it and I was in luck.

“What… do you want to see Victor for?” Arthur asked in pauses and they both looked down on me. I felt exposed. But I was horny. I didn’t dare to look down at my own pants and we were all alone. My teacher looked at me directly in the eyes and it dawned on me that I never thought of him into guys at all. I didn’t know what to do with my pants or my hands for that matter and this wasn’t porn, I couldn’t just go on my knees. There needed to be some conversation. But instead Arthur took out the keys out of his pocket.

“I’ll lock the room, we’ll need some privacy.” He stopped and held from adding more, probably wanting to know how I would throw the ball at them, but all I did was turn around and watch Arthur lock the door. I stared at his short haircut and how his shirt was nearly tight fitted. He was what you’d call a daddy, I guess. He came back and I didn’t dare to look at Victor, who was wearing his glasses today. Maybe he didn’t know he’d get such an easy fuck today.

“What is it now?” And Arthur leaned against one of the tables, moving his hips a bit forwards so I could see how he was getting hard. Maybe Victor knew that I had been watching them. Victor only watched this all unravel slowly. “You can tell me too, it’s not that big of a deal, I hope.”

And he smiled just like any teacher would, not like a teacher who fucked students.

I couldn’t have gotten it wrong, but I was terrified to make a move.

Victor then moved closer to Arthur, watching me through his dark hair and glasses. I expected them to kiss, because they were so close, but I knew that they wouldn’t give me that delight just yet. I stayed silent, watching the man and the classmate of mine nearly mesmerized and wishing for some contact to be initiated.

“I really think you ought to speak up. I can tell that you’re both wasting class for no reason.” And Arthur grins. “And I’m sure you wouldn’t want to leave that as an impression on Victor…”

“You’re not friends. What’s up?” My underwear was soaked from all the teasing and talking and tit was as if they could see it clearly through the flimsy fabric of the school pants.

“I think you owe Arthur an apology for taking his time.” Victor finally speaks up, seeing that I am completely blank and now he sits on the desk, waiting for everything to unfold. I tense up and I am terribly horny. I’m not thinking at all at this point. I can feel myself twitch, I want to go on my knees and have him to do anything he wants to me. Only now it occurred to me, would he want to fuck a trans guy? But I felt like I was just a hole and I wanted to be just a hole for his amazing cock. I still get turned on thinking of it.

“What s-should I do?” I ask and Arthur grins at me and then at Victor.

“That’s a good boy.” And the teacher strokes my cheek. Looking back at it, how did he even get away with all of this? He surely was fucking students around and not just me. I was lost. Victor goes behind me and kisses my neck, pressing his rock hard cock against my ass. Arthur takes the wheel in his hands. “Why don’t you show us what you have?”

“Are you a virgin?” Victor asks me quietly and seductively in my ear. I just nod, my shaking hands undoing the buttons on my shirt. It was way before top surgery, so of course I had a chest which I enjoyed playing with at the time.

“Such a nice boy. Coming to us.” Arthur grins. “I love deflowering guys like you.”

At the time I was too horny and I wanted Victor’s cock inside me and Arthur just seemed like a sweet bonus. Victor kept rubbing his cock against me, as I took off my binder, exposing my chest to the honour student and the teacher. Arthur took my chest in his hands, squeezing it and then proceeding to painfully play with my hard nipples. I moaned, feeling myself get wetter and wetter, shyer as well.

“Don’t be shy, expose your holes.” Victor says and slides a hand between my legs, feeling how wet I am. “Someone really needs a good hard cock.”

“Yes.” I moan as he kisses my neck and keeps touching me down there. Arthur continues to play with my chest, now leaning down to take my nipple in his mouth. It was painful, I still recall that, but it was amazing. He knew what he was doing and he knew how he liked it. What was sexier than a teacher who knew what he was doing? Was my first thought until Victor unzipped my pants and stuck his hand in.

“So wet. So naughty.” He says, playing with my small cock in circular motions. He slows down before sliding his fingers lower and then sticking two fingers right in. It wasn’t like I hadn’t done it to myself, so I was ready.

“Victor…” I moan, exposing my neck and throwing my head back.

“Looks like someone touched himself for you, Victor.” Arthur notes. “Looks like the first thrust is yours.”

I start thrusting against Victor’s hand. I didn’t have a crush, I just wanted him sexually so bad. I was so jealous of the other guy. I just wanted him to fuck me hard, I wanted to feel him for days afterwards, I wanted to feel the pain of a huge cock. I had only read and watched about it, I wanted to experience it.

“I think we’ve had enough foreplay, don’t you think?” Victor says as he takes out his hands from my underwear and shows his fingers to Arthur, how they’re all covered in a web of my cum.

“Oh, your boy is ready, Victor.” Arthur says and I take my pants off on queue. I hesitate for a while, before going on fours on the floor, thankfully which has some old rug. I spread out my holes for the guy who I’ve been craving sexually.

He doesn’t have a condom, I realize.

Victor just takes his cock out, as well as Arthur. Arthur starts viciously stroking his, which is around Victor’s size. I’ve hit my jackpot. My mouth gets watery. I’ve never even sucked cock. As I get distracted watching Arthur stroke his dick up and down, I feel a sharp pain and I wince out loud.

“Shhhh! Shhhh!!!” Arthur says laughing and covering my mouth. “Don’t want anyone else joining on the festivities, do we?”

“Relax, ease your body, man. It’ll feel so good, once the pain eases up.” Victor says, stroking my back. He stops, so that I get adjusted to his size. I realize that I’m losing my virginity for good, well, I’ve lost it now. Not like I ever cared, I just wanted to get laid, frankly. I can’t even properly believe that I’ve got him inside me and he slowly starts moving. I’m afr from his first and it excites me just to think of many boys he’s fucked over time. Arthur just watches delightfully.

“Want to suck on some sweet cock?” He asks me as I start moaning, but before I can reply he just rubs his cock against my lips. I open my eager mouth, as he shuts up my moans and turns them into gagging sounds. Arthur is also big, just like you would expect a daddy to be in your dreams. I’ve never had a cock at that point, so it’s hard and I’m receiving pleasure at the same time. Victor starts fucking me even hard and his cock bare feels amazing. I feel far too shy to even think that I’ve always been jealous of cum dripping out of another guy’s hole. I’ve always wanted that for myself, but I guess I have always pretended to be cautious. The fact that Victor had also come inside the other guy, which I was spying on, made me even more eager to accept him.

Victor is still uncomfortably huge, I still feel some pain after his monster cock is going in and out of me. I am getting fucked by two guys, I’ve never even properly dreamed of this. I always thought that if I managed to get laid, I would already be desperately thankful for it, let alone get fucked by two.

“You’re so so tight. Haven’t fucked such a good virgin like you in a while.” Victor moans, taking his cock out and I’m guessing staring at the hole he is so intensely fucking. He slams it back in and I gag on Arthur’s cock, feeling my eyes water up. The teacher then grabs my head and starts fucking me. I’m defenceless, they’re fucking me and I can’t do anything

Anything besides cum

I start moaning quietly, not even touching myself before I feel myself unravel. My body starts shaking, I’m clutching the rug with my hands and I let go of Arthur’s cock. He grabs my head again and forces his cock into my mouth.

“Looks like the virgin didn’t hold.” Arthur says, huffing.

“So so good.” Victor mutters and spreads me wider with his hands, moaning and slowing his pace as he fills me up with his wanted cum. He keeps thrusting, making sure that all of it goes inside me. “Breeding you like the slut you’ll be.”

He barely says it and stops, clutching me and kissing my back once he’s done with me.

“Be a good boy and swallow me.” Arthur says, holding me harshly and fucking me until he gasps out and I feel a thick substance in my mouth. “Swallow.”

I do it and I feel a strong bitter taste in my mouth. I gag from it, causing Arthur to laugh through a heavy orgasm and he pulls out of my mouth, some cum stuck to his now relaxing cock. Victor pulls out and I feel some cum leak out of me. He bred me. I’m still gasping for air. The honour student takes some of the cum from me and fingers me back with it, just like he did with the other guy.

He fingers me rather harshly, my hole feeling completely destroyed and I start getting turned on again, as he uses his own cum as lube as well as my own juices.

“Look at the slut.” Victor shames me and I feel myself getting turned on again as Arthur’s cock is still in front of me and gives a twitch. He spreads his fingers painfully inside my swollen hole. “So used.”

Arthur takes me by the chin.

“Think we’re done with you?” And leans down to kiss me on the mouth harshly, tasting a mix of my saliva and his cum.

I’m still leaking as they change, now Victor’s big dick in front of me and Arthur about to breed me. I doubt there would be a condom now after everything. Arthur starts teasing my entrance with his big cock, circling and lubbing himself up as he grows again.

“Make me hard again, whore. It’s such an easy task, since you’re so fucking desperate.” I feel so drained after my hard orgasm, but I still take Victor’s cock in my mouth, completely tired. I try to keep up the pace, as Arthur is still teasing me and I’m getting awfully wet again and I don’t know the difference between Victor’s cum and my own.

“Looks like he’s all used up. Even better. We love a good used hole, don’t we?” Victor starts face fucking me, holding me down as I squirm from his size and gag, saliva running down my chin, but that doesn’t let him stop and I feel even more turned on. Arthur still teasing me before he rams his cock deep inside me and I feel my eyes water from the sudden penetration. I move my head to the side and Victor lets me go, as I start moaning awfully loud with each thrust Arthur gives me.

It doesn’t take long for Arthur to come inside me, fill me up to the brim and keep fucking me until he becomes soft. I open my eyes to see Victor jerking off in front of me and soon enough a line of cum hits my face. So do another two lines as I breathe heavily, unable to even orgasm, my whole body feeling swollen and used. Then Arthur puts his fingers on my small dick and gives it a few rubs before I cum myself, as Victor watches me very carefully before I cum and then grins as I do so.

I didn’t bother cleaning up right away, but I did take a bath that night, I remember, recalling everything in vivid and even painful detail, not mentioning it to anyone until years later.

All of a sudden I didn’t feel ashamed for being a late bloomer, I felt as if I had somehow excelled in the activity of losing one’s virginity by getting both a teacher and Victor.

–

If you enjoyed the story and would like to see more, read the first extracts of the second chapter, please consider supporting me through my Patreon or Ko-Fi

https://ko-fi.com/graspthesanity

https://www.patreon.com/graspthesanity