Double Homicide In Thurles

The ancient concrete seams of Thurles courthouse were bursting yesterday, as unemployed locals packed in to watch the trial of recent resident Mr Pakie Redmond.

Following intense Garda investigations, Mr Redmond had been arrested in the early hours of New Years Day, questioned and later charged with a double-homicide in the town.

Thurles Gardaí had been called out last month, following the gruesome discovery by Mrs Mary Ryan (Dick) while chasing an itinerant nanny goat. The goat, she testified during the hearing yesterday had decided to trespass unto her property, possibly desiring a change in diet. From her kitchen window she had observed the goat had set about chewing the legs of her only remaining pair of red flannelette drawers, which it had located dangling on her clothesline.

In the chase that followed Mrs Ryan had fallen, disturbing a thin layer of freshly dug earth, and finding herself face to face with one of two bodies later found by Gardaí, buried in a shallow grave, close to the Yellow Lough area of Thurles town.

Having been charged before a special court in Nenagh, the judge had remanded Mr Pakie Redmond in custody; to appear before Thurles District Court on the 18th January 2016.

From a local perspective, very few people were acquainted with Mr Pakie Redmond, but it was often whispered by local gossips that were he ever to purchase a residents in Elm Street, the antagonist Fred “Freddy” Krueger would have immediately sold up and moved elsewhere; whatever that implied.

Those lucky enough to gain access to the interior of the Courtroom all rose to their feet, as the Judge entered. Settling herself in on the judges cushioned bench, she stared at the defendant in the dock.

“Mr Pakie Redmond, you currently reside at Mill Road, Thurles, Co. Tipperary, is that correct?”, asked the Judge. Pakie nodded. “Mr Redmond, you stand here today charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer or other blunt instrument”, she continued in stern tones.

An excited voice from the back of the courtroom yelled out, “You feckin bastard!”. The presiding Judge glared at the packed courtroom for a few moments, then following a return to silence amongst those gathered, she turned her attention once again to the defendant.



The Judge continued; “Mr Redmond you also stand charged that on the same day or on a date close to that date you did carry out the similar heinous crime of beating your mother-in-law to death, also using a hammer or other blunt instrument. How do you plead?”

Before Pakie could answer either ‘Guilty’ or ‘Innocent’, the voice in the back of the courtroom rang out again, “You rotten feckin bastard!”

The presiding Judge stopped abruptly and pointing to one individual, who later identified himself as Mr Mick McDonald, who was seated in the back of the courtroom. She demanded that he immediately stand up.

“Sir,” said the Judge, “I can understand your anger and frustration at these outrageous criminal charges, but I must insist that there be no further outbursts from you, or I’ll charge you with contempt for this Court. Is that fully understood?”

Mick, head bent and now in a standing position apologised; “I’m sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I’ve lived next door to that asshole, and every time I asked to borrow his lousy hammer, he said he didn’t own one.”

The case against Mr Pakie Redmond continues in Thurles District Courthouse tomorrow.