CHAD and EVAN sit at a microbrewery. Chad wears earbuds and listens to his iPhone… but his eyes suddenly start glowing red — and his arms raise up like a robotic soldier’s. Evan: So, you like that new history podcast? Chad: MUST… KILL… AND SIGN UP FOR BLUE APRON…

Dressed-for-yoga MADISON has a higher-tech-looking FitBit-esque device strapped to her wrist. The device’s readout says, “KALE LEVELS LOW” and a robotic voice from it says, “Now teleporting you to Whole Foods.” She disappears in a whoosh of self-satisfaction.

17-year-old KEVIN uses futuristic technology known as “a car” to pass multiple police officers without once being stopped.

PHIL is on the dance floor, wearing full-body tech, and “dancing” with his Latina girlfriend ANGELA. PHIL: Check me out! NOW I got moves! ANGELA: Um, still no.

REXFORD enters the waiting room, with good news: “The cyber-transplant was a success. Now no medical ailment on Earth can ever shorten the life of Adam Sandler.”

MEL and JANICE sit at a computer, which has a device that is scanning Mel’s face. Mel: “It lets you apply for a job just by scanning your face!” On the monitor we see: “Caucasian Male – HIRED”

CHIP has programmed a handheld device to literally insulate his ears from any music not made by four guys with feathered hair between 1983 and 1992.

Suddenly, every woman receives the same buzzing signal on their “COMM-YONI” eggs, and looks down to see The Leader’s instruction: “COMMENCE THE STEAMING.”

Imagine what looks like an innocuous piece of headwear, but it contains both a receptacle and delivery- system for a beer. Now imagine it with the power to hold two.

CHRISTOPHER rides a cutting-edge transport vessel to a new world, where he uses a futuristic metal “combustion-rod” to declare an entire people “subjects of Spain.”

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