Story highlights A monument to England's football failure is set to go on auction in London

Maurizio Cattelan's sculpture chronicles every England defeat between 1874 and 1998

The black granite artwork is expected to fetch up to $900,000

(CNN) If you enjoy laughing at the England football team -- calling all Germans and Scots -- and you have a spare $900,000, then Sotheby's has the very thing for you.

The auction house is offering an untitled work by Italian sculptor Maurizio Cattelan that chronicles -- in painstaking and painful detail if you are English -- every defeat suffered by the England team between 1874 and 1998.

Cattelan has carved all the defeats into a large (and it would have to be, wouldn't it?) piece of black granite, meaning the lucky buyer can be constantly reminded of a succession of ignominious afternoons and evenings.

The artist says of his memorial stone-style work simply: "I guess it's a piece which talks about pride, missed opportunities and death."

Known for his humorous and satirical art, Cattelan had plenty to work with as he recorded defeats starting with a 2-1 loss to Scotland in Glasgow in 1874 and ending with another 2-1 setback against Romania at the 1998 World Cup.

SLAP! Maurizio Cattelan's monument to every single England footballing failure (teams&scores) @Sothebys £400-600k pic.twitter.com/0BhyKpEaE7 — Ermanno Rivetti (@ErmannoRivetti) March 6, 2015

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