WASHINGTON—Saying that enough time had passed for them to be willing to try again, the U.S. populace announced Thursday that they were finally prepared to look at more sidewalk drawings that look like big holes but are actually just flat. “The moment is at hand when we feel mentally and emotionally prepared to view chalk drawings that appear to be deep chasms, but you can’t fall down them because they’re just pictures,” said Alison Grant, 30, echoing the sentiments of 325 Americans who expressed their willingness to see canyons, pools of water, and whimsical depictions of the pits of Hell rendered in chalk on the streets of major cities in such a way that they appear terrifying and real when viewed from a distance. “After being overrun by numerous examples in the early 2000s, we are happy to announce that we will accept the public art for the foreseeable future. Please send all online slideshows, email forwards, and social media posts our way so we can marvel at the optical illusions that look like holes but thankfully aren’t really holes.” At press time, the nation acknowledged that they were still unwilling to view sidewalk drawings incorporating real manhole covers or sewer grates as these were too scary and confusing.

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