And we're gonna stop right there, because those aren't the song's lyrics. They're lines rewritten for the television edit of the song. The full version, written by Jesse Frederik, does contain those first two familiar lines, but then veers immediately into a dark depression.

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It's easy to see why the producers of the most carefree TV show about a young widower ever made would want to leave out the part of the song where the protagonist starts pondering the value of their existence and wondering how in the hell their life has gotten to where it is. It continues:

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This person's definitely feeling some resentment over never having achieved their goals. And because this song was specifically written for Full House, we have to wonder who the subject was meant to be. Could it be Uncle Jesse himself dreaming of the spotlight? Not likely. Jesse has jammed with the Beach Boys, so Katsopolis is living the dream. Could it have been Danny Tanner lamenting the death of his wife and the fact that his children are awful? Closer, but he was always so levelheaded and heartwarming. It's hard to imagine whispery voices rattling around ol' Papa Tanner's head. But then who fits this description -- that of a sad, aging man, probably living in the basement, performing the same bit over and over, becoming continually more bitter as the realization that his career is a big joke slowly sinks in, along with how his only legacy will be some dumb animal who has taken over his voice?