An online affair can be just as damaging to a marriage as any other type of affair. They can often be very similar to other affairs, as they are often secretive, can ruin emotional and sexual intimacy, and can consume the lives of many people. It's important to take steps to safeguard your marriage from all types of infidelity, including a cyber affair.

How Technology has Changed Infidelity

Today's world offers a stark contrast to what cheating looked like in the past. Just a few decades ago families shared a landline phone. The most opportunity people had to indulge in an affair was at work. Private meetings had to be scheduled in advance.

Technology has made many aspects of life easier, including the ability to have an affair. Cell phones allow for secret phone calls. The internet offers endless opportunities to meet people. Webcams and photo sharing allow people to share intimate photos and videos.

Countless websites are devoted to cheating and pornography. Social media allows people to connect to old flames. The easy access to people really makes it more important than ever to protect yourself from the temptation to have an affair.

What Constitutes a Cyber Affair?

Cyber affairs don't even have to be sexual in nature to constitute an affair. Simply forming an emotional connection online can be damaging to the marriage if it interferes with the realtionship. Confiding secrets to a virtual stranger, engaging in private conversations or even seeking emotional support from someone online can take time away from the marriage and cause damage.

Sometimes people seek out conversations online when something is lacking in their relationship. Perhaps they are lonely or are just looking to engage in conversation with someone because they aren't getting their needs met. It can quickly become a slippery slope.

Soon a person engaging in a cyber affair might be thinking about their online relationship more than their real life one. It can cause them to create opportunities to talk with one another as they crave the attention. They also might begin to share secrets that they don't share with their spouse and might fantasize about meeting their online object of affection.

Cyber affairs often turn sexual. Sometimes people begin engaging in sexual conversations or having cybersex. They might share intimate photos and videos. They might even make arrangements to meet up in person.

Many people often have a misconception that a cyber affair doesn't really count as cheating. They might presume that unless they are meeting in person, it doesn't really cause harm. However, a cyber affair will cause a couple to be distanced emotionally and sexually.

Warning Signs of a Cyber Affair

There are many possible signs of a cyber affair. Here are a few of the most common signs that your spouse is engaging in online infidelity:

• Secretive behavior with electronics can be a warning sign. Examples might include password protecting the computer or never putting down the cell phone due to fear you'll check it.





• Increased amounts of time online might signal a spouse's attempt to spend more time talking to the object of their affection. Often, people become defensive when confronted about their internet use when they are engaging in a cyber affair.

• Sleeping patterns sometimes change. A person engaging in a cyber affair might stay up really late to use the computer or may wake early to get online. Another sign can be waking up in the middle of the night to use the computer.

• Changes in mood can also be a red flag. If your spouse's mood and attitude has undergone some significant changes, it might mean there is something going on that you're not aware of.

• A lack of sexual interest can also be a sign that your spouse is investing sexual fantasies elsewhere.

• Lying is common with cyber affairs. A person might lie about an online "friendship" insisting it is nothing more than a harmless relationship.

• A lack of interest in taking care of responsibilities or attending family activities can also signal an online affair. Often, people will neglect household chores or choose to skip out on birthday celebrations or barbeques so they can gain privacy and access to the computer.

Recovering from a Cyber Affair

Recovering from a cyber affair can be a painful process. Sometimes the online affair is a symptom of a deeper issue within the relationship that will also need to be resolved.

The person engaging in the affair will need to be honest and will need to be willing to end the affair. Then, the process of rebuilding trust can begin. However, this can be very difficult to do and it takes time.