3. Stephen Curry: The Moon Landing was Faked

Behold another classic conspiracy theory, with infinite variations and as such, infinite amounts of evidence. Moon landing truthers believe, generally, that some or all of the Apollo program and its related Moon landings were hoaxes staged by NASA, possibly with the help of others, including but not limited to Disney and Stanley Kubrick. (A related conspiracy theory is that The Shining was Kubrick’s attempt to admit/atone for his participation in the faked Moon landing and there are clues throughout.)

Despite the fact essentially all of this has been effectively explained and refuted, the evidence is as follows.

The photographs are implausibly high quality, there are no stars, the shadows are inconsistent, the backgrounds are occasionally identical and some of the artifacts appear marked as studio props. One woman in Australia claimed a Coca-Cola bottle rolled across her screen during the live broadcast. And who filmed Neil Armstrong???

Elsewhere, truthers point to the fact the astronauts should have died because of radiation and that the cameras would have been fogged by said radiation. But, no! The moon is so hot during the daytime the cameras should have melted! And what about the American flag, waving in a windless vacuum???

There’s more — oh, there’s so much more. The mechanical issues. The transmissions. The missing tapes. Technology. Deaths!!! Just this week, a YouTube Faked Moon Landing truther shared evidence that if you zoom in on the vizor of an astronaut, you can see the reflection of someone not wearing a spacesuit.

In faking the Moon landing, the U.S. was either trying to win the Space Race, avoid humiliation for failed Moon missions, or distract from the catastrophically bad Vietnam War.

It’s overwhelming and patently absurd, but in isolation, that the government filmed a Moon landing is, like, relatively plausible. If you subtract any and all context, some suits making a short film in the desert is more believable than an airport portal to hell or the total fabrication of an entire country.

Do you know what else is overwhelming and patently absurd, but in isolation and devoid of context, relatively plausible? The Stephen Curry NBA experience.

One of Curry’s Things™ is that he looks like a regular human being. He barely looks like a basketball player, let alone a lizard person or an alien. The Steph-Curr-ican Dream posits that if you work hard, you too can turn your very human body into a natural disaster and master a skill to such an extent that you impact the course of an entire professional sport. Another one of Curry’s Things™ is the sheer relentlessness and impossible consistency of it all. It’s not just that he makes a wild shot now and then. It’s that his wild shots are routine. Curry takes approximately as many 3-pointers in a season as there are pieces of evidence for the Faked Moon Landing.

But take Curry’s game aaaall the way apart, into individual moments and individual skills stripped of all context, and it almost seems unremarkable. If you pretend the Faked Moon Landing was just dudes making an artsy one-man movie in the desert and then lying about it, you can also pretend you could play like Curry.

Stephen Curry is faked-moon-landing good.