ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A group of formerly-retired Indonesian people smugglers has got the band back together this afternoon through an epic montage in Jarkata ahead of the Coalition’s decision to reopen the Christmas Island Processing Facility.

The government’s decision was in part a reaction to parliament passing legislation that gives doctors greater say over the need for a medical evacuation from an offshore detention facility, making it easier asylum seeker to reach the mainland.

Thanks to Bill Shorten and all the other inner-city private school lefties – plus the union movements they’ve hijacked along the way, it’s now possible for an economic refugee to land on Christmas Island, pretend to be dead, then end up on the continent where it’s very difficult to get rid of them.

Closer to our northern hostile neighbours, the gang of human traffickers spend the day making a montage with footage of them loading bullets into magazines, laughing at Peter Dutton on 730 last night, waterboarding genuine Iranian asylum seekers, taking bribes from Australian intelligence operatives, letting guns off into the air in celebration as another boat of people sinks in international waters and them playing the Gatorade saxophone.

The government is yet to comment on the montage but insiders say they’re ‘disgusted’ and ‘appalled’ that the people smugglers would be so brazen about their crimes – plus their nonchalant attitudes towards marijuana.

More to come.