Stephen Colbert: Listen, Sis. Tough going but you’ll bounce back. Get ready for the next race. Take a trip or something. Go hiking. You deserve it. You just have to recognize that the great state of South Carolina had a choice. There was the half-man who lied to his own wife and the entire state and had to quit his last job in shame. And then there was you. You didn’t really have a chance–no record, no lying, no headlines, frankly just no name recognition. Except for my name. And now you’ve dragged it through loser mud. I see on the news “Colbert’s Sister Loses”. I don’t like to be associated with losing. Especially in South Carolina. Do you see my initials? That’s right, SC. I am one with South Carolina and now you’ve sullied me.

Elizabeth Colbert Busch: Oh Stephen. What about your so-called “Colbert Bump”? A lot of good it did me. Sanford says he was “saved by the grace of God.” Well I thought you were God, Mr. Big Shot. Now I know what “just on cable” means. The real loser here is SC. Am I right? Careful now–that’s a complicated question.