At high school Everette was a victim of revenge porn, when a girl he was close to sent images to his friends.

"We flirted a lot and said silly, sweet things to each other … I would have been 15 or 16 years old at this time," he says.

"She shared images of somebody else with my friends and social circle and told them that they were pictures of me."

Now 22, Everette says when he tried to defend himself, his friends laughed it off, telling him he didn't have to lie; it was no big deal.

Everette's situation may seem unusual because when most of us discuss revenge porn, we generally think of a resentful man posting his ex-girlfriend's pictures online for the world to see.

But revenge porn, also referred to as image-based abuse, can take a variety of forms. It can include real or altered pictures, illustrations, or, as in Everette's experience, the shared images may be fakes (that is, not even of the person being targeted).

Even though men are more likely to be perpetrators of revenge porn, Australian research has found men and women have the same chances of being victims.

For Nicola Henry, a researcher in image-based abuse at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology (RMIT), stories like Everette's don't come as a surprise.

"There is a misconception that women are the predominant victims of image-based abuse. But according to our research, both men and women can experience it equally."

Image-based abuse by the numbers

Dr Henry first started researching the topic in 2017, when she surveyed more than 4,200 Australians aged between 16 and 49. She found that 22 per cent of women and 23 per cent of men in that age bracket had experienced image-based abuse.

Who are victims of revenge porn Women (22 per cent) and men (23 per cent)

Women (22 per cent) and men (23 per cent) 56 per cent of people with a disability and 50 per cent of Indigenous Australians say they had been victims

56 per cent of people with a disability and 50 per cent of Indigenous Australians say they had been victims 36 per cent of lesbian, gay and bisexual people said they had experienced image-based abuse compared to 21 per cent of heterosexual people

36 per cent of lesbian, gay and bisexual people said they had experienced image-based abuse compared to 21 per cent of heterosexual people The perpetrator was most often male (54 per cent), 33 per cent female, 13 per cent were either unknown or a mixed group Source: RMIT University and Monash University 2017 research

Lesbian, gay and bisexual persons were more likely to be victims, with more than one in three people in this community having experienced image-based abuse, compared with one in five heterosexual people.

Twenty-year-old Josh* identifies as bisexual and attributes this spike to the culture of overtly sexualised dating apps like Grindr, where the sharing of dick pics, for example, is common.

He himself experienced image-based abuse in an online smut community for fans of erotic Japanese manga, after sending pictures privately to some girls from the group who had requested them.

"That trust was abused because they then got circulated around, which was a bit like, 'Hmm… what the f**k?'" he says.

"They also DMed it to their friends … there was no real respect for the fact that this is a person."

For Everette, the effects were equally dehumanising.

"It definitely placed a lot of self-doubt in my life. I struggled a lot with self-confidence," he says.

"It changed my idea of what a relationship is like. And it made me a lot more closed off. I kind of put up walls because I didn't want to have to go through that sort of embarrassment again."

Why men don't talk about being victims

When Josh's nudes were spread, he confided in a close female friend, a trusted figure he felt incredibly lucky to have.

"Considering my other male friends, I don't think I'd be comfortable doing that … I wouldn't have a problem broaching the topic, but I don't think it would get very far," he says.

"They'd be either too uncomfortable about it or it'd get trivialised and become humour."

Researcher Nicola Henry says men are less likely to talk about being victims of revenge porn. ( Pexels: Startup Stock Photos )

Although Dr Henry’s research discovered equal numbers of men and women experiencing image-based abuse, her team struggled to find men to interview on the topic.

"I think what that indicates is not that men aren't equally experiencing image-based abuse in the same way women are, but just that they're less likely to come forward. And I think that is saying something about the stigma attached to being a male victim of image-based abuse."

When Everette's ex-girlfriend shared the nudes of a stranger and claimed they were his, his friends were quick to brush him off.

"I think they thought it was funny. They wanted to tease me about it a little bit and try to get on my nerves, as teenage boys do to each other. I didn't think it was funny," he says.

"I kind of shut down. I didn't necessarily feel pressured to join in and just laugh along with them. But I felt embarrassed and completely helpless because I felt like nothing I could say or do would change their minds."

Dr Henry says both male and female victims in these situations experience high levels of psychological distress, consistent with moderate-to-severe depression or anxiety disorder.

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How to take back control

The Office of the eSafety Commissioner, a government initiative aimed at promoting online safety, decided to combat this issue in 2017 with an online portal for victims of image-based abuse.

The website helps victims to understand their rights and allows them to make a report.

Julie Inman Grant is the eSafety Commissioner who oversaw the introduction of the program, which receives reports from a wide range of Australians.

"We've noticed an increase in men coming to us for help with image-based abuse, which we attribute to growing awareness of the issue and eSafety's role in combating it," she says.

"Currently around 40 per cent of all reports we receive about image-based abuse concern male victims", upholding Dr Henry's finding of equal numbers of male and female victims.

For Josh, the double standards he perceived when his images were shared was extremely frustrating.

"There was less of a backlash than if it was to happen to a girl," he says.

"If there isn't that fear of such a severe backlash, there's less of an inclination for women to not spread guys' nudes."

For Dr Henry, the issue is more about the stereotype of a "revenge porn" scenario, and the inaccuracies that concept conveys.

"There is a lot of unfair societal shame and stigma for both women and men who have experienced sexual assault and sexual harassment," she says.

"I think a similar stigma exists for victims of image-based abuse and it's hard for some victims to come forward because of the 'ideal victim' stereotype. For image-based abuse, that's often a female victim and a male perpetrator."

The "ideal victim" of a straight white ex-girlfriend forgets other groups as well, with Dr Henry's research finding the LGBT community, Indigenous Australians and those with a disability experiencing higher rates of image-based abuse.

It's often used as a shaming tactic for those who don't fit the 'dominant heterosexual male' benchmark, and may be used as part of a pattern of domestic and sexual violence against women.

As social media continues to change the way we experience relationships and interact with each other, it's also changing the way we perpetrate violence and abuse.

If you are affected by image-based abuse, you can report to eSafety. Men can also contact a counselling service such as MensLine. eSafety can provide support and advice, help with removal of intimate images or videos, and in some cases even take action against the person responsible for the image-based abuse.

* Name has been changed for privacy