Brexit: Revenge of the Euro-Rednecks

I woke up this morning feeling pretty optimistic.

I rolled over, turned my phone off airplane mode, and thought:

“I’ll just check the news to make sure the UK voted against Brexit. Then we can forget about all this nonsense, and move on with our lives.”

The optimism lasted about 4 seconds.

Oh shit.

Really, England?

It’s Brexit time… Have the Euro-Rednecks won?

I first wrote about this years ago. Americans (including myself, apparently) tend to over-estimate the intelligence and social level of your average European.

You can check out the original article here: Are Europeans more civilized than Americans?

Short answer: not really.

Of course, I got some major blowback in the comments on that post. Angry Brits were calling me “retarded” all over Reddit.

And don’t even get me started on all the Britons who feel the need to “correct” my English.

“My English is better than your English because I grew up closer to Buckingham Palace” is a weak argument if I’ve ever heard one.

I try not to overly-glamorize Europeans. But my optimism about the chances of Brexit came from one simple fact: literally NO British person I know supports it.

Of course, the conclusion is clear: I just don’t hang out with a bunch of ignorant, short-sighted bigots.

Better for me, but not for my ability to predict the outcome of this stupid-ass referendum.

So what do we do now?

That’s the question on everybody’s mind. Where do we go from here?

Of course, there’s a possibility that it won’t actually happen. I’m no expert in international law, but I assume any sort of breakup of the EU would be enormously expensive and time-consuming.

And the optimist in me is thinking that in the coming weeks or months, everybody will realize how moronic this all is and decide to shitcan the whole Brexit project.

But the optimist in me has been wrong before. (See Bush’s re-election in 2004, and my continued residence in Spain while I hope the economy improves… Now in year eight.)

So what do we do?

Off the top of my head, I can think of several options. Should we…

Panic? Sell our stocks, buy gold, and wait for the impending economic collapse?

Start preparing for the (nearly inevitable) zombie apocalypse?

Run the million or so Brits out of Spain with pitchforks and torches?

Spend all day commenting on Facebook about how Trump is somehow related to this whole mess? (I hate to break it to you, but not everything that happens in the world is about Trump. But if you make everything about Trump, rest assured, you’re playing right into his hands.)

everything about Trump, rest assured, you’re playing right into his hands.) Keep calm, and (as the expression says) carry on?

I have no way of knowing if any of these options is the best (or even good).

But the (ever-falliable) optimist in me is saying, “Don’t panic. It’s not the end of the world. Somehow this will all work out.”

I hope the optimist in me is right this time. ‘Cause otherwise, it’s “Well, Europe, it’s been nice knowing you.”

And I can’t even explain how much I’ve gained from my years living here.

Heartbrokenly yours,

Daniel (AKA Mr Chorizo)

P.S. What do you think? Is it time to panic? Hit me up, right here… in the comments.

P.P.S. Update: So I was wrong about Trump too. And I decided that calling people names is probably not the way forward. Sorry ’bout that. Anyway, it’s been quite a year.

P.P.P.S Speaking of referenda, how about that Catalonian independence thing? That’s a laugh and a half, if I can say so myself.