The band Black Pussy. Photo: Facebook

Incredible as it may seem in our post-racial, post-feminist egalitarian society, I recently came across an all-male, all-white American rock band calling themselves 'Black Pussy'.

Thankfully- because remember racism and sexism are over- when the dudes in the band (which, for what I hope are obvious reasons, I will now refer to only as BP), noticed that black women and their allies were asking them to please reconsider the highly objectionable name, the sensitive blokes did a lot of soul searching and research into the history of the hyper-sexualisation of black women.

What they discovered shocked them.

The band Black Pussy. Photo: Facebook

They learned all about how black female slaves were routinely raped by their masters and persecuted by jealous white wives who thought them shameless temptresses. BP noted how the repeated rape of Sally Hemings by her master Thomas Jefferson has been revised by white historians as an "illicit love affair", and how even the great Harriet Tubman was recently depicted as a sex-crazed buffoon who used her sexuality to free slaves.


Having made these grim discoveries, BP decided that the right thing to do would be to change their name and issue a full, unreserved apology to black women everywhere.

Just kidding!

Of course, they did no such thing. Rather, they declared that they're "not going to change the name" because they are "committed to it, because that's what artists do".

Now, before we toss this whole sorry episode onto the steaming heap of obnoxious claptrap that is the white male-dominated indie rock music industry's attitude to anyone who isn't a white male, let's pause for a moment and reflect on the great gift that this band has inadvertently given us.

You see, BP did a particular interview that will surely prove to be an invaluable resource to anyone who wishes to understand the mindset of the privileged white male and why it presents such an obstacle to progress.

For those who find intersectional feminist theory too impenetrable or just plain silly, BP is a crash course in just what it is that feminists of colour are banging on about when we talk about things like "the nexus of sexism and racism".

Here are the priceless quotes from that interview, which I've helpfully translated from privileged white-man speak into plain old English.

Without further ado, I give you BP.

"[Our name is] sexy and '70s."

We watched a Blaxploitation movie one time, so we are confident we know all about black people. Since we are now experts on how black women should feel about having their body parts objectified as a marketing gimmick, we don't need to research how black women have long been considered to live in a state of perpetual consent and were thus unrapeable. There is no need to concern ourselves with inconvenient truths such as how black women's bodies are objectified and hyper-sexualised by white men, white women, black men and…well pretty much everyone really.

Also, Pam Greer is hot!

"It's very Tarantino-influenced…If he was going to have a band or make a movie about a band, it'd be called Black Pussy."

We are fundamentally incapable of viewing the world unless it is filtered through the sharp lens of a fellow White Male Genius. Tarantino was tres cool once and he got away with saying the 'N' word a bunch of times. So, if we attach ourselves to his legacy in the most superficial way possible, some of that coolness must rub off on us.

"I sit in a very isolated spot compared to [the rest of] humanity. Words do not offend me."

The experiences of people who are not white, middle-class males confuse me. I have no idea what it's like to be marginalised, discriminated against and generally dehumanised. I'm blissfully unaware that black women deal with racism and sexism on a daily basis, nor do I comprehend how language perpetuates gendered racism, since it does not affect white men like me. Therefore, I must assume that gendered, racist slurs that draw on centuries of objectification are exactly like someone calling my band a bunch of "privileged white boys". Since we can brush such epithets aside in the full knowledge that they in no way correspond with any lived reality of oppression, then surely these black women are making a fuss over nothing?

Also, I'm way cooler than you.

"I'm not going to change the name because I'm afraid it'll hurt my project…I've committed to it, because that's what artists do: They commit to an idea."

My band's name is more important than the lives of black women.

"It's not about trying to be successful or trying to make money, it's about the idea."

It's about trying to be successful and trying to make money. How will people know about us if we don't name ourselves after the disembodied genitalia of an oppressed group?

"It's a celebration of freedom…There's no negativity with what we're trying to do."

Freedom is white people doing whatever they want without thinking of how their words and actions perpetuate negative stereotypes and contribute to inequality. Our positive vibes override these actual consequences.

"Even if it was a different band name, people are always going to talk shit about your songs or how you look or this or that."

I have such little understanding of racism and sexism that I actually think someone saying "Dude, your band sucks" or "Your hair is too long" is exactly the same as critiques suggesting that black women's vaginas are not objects that exist independently from black women and should be respected as such.

Did I mention that my band's name is more important than actual human beings? Not the band, mind you, just our name. The name of my band is more important than some human beings.

"Black Pussy" was the working title of the Rolling Stones' "Brown Sugar," "a blatantly anti-racism tune."

Again, everything we know about the world comes from other white men. We won't ask black women what they think of that tune because we don't care what black women think. Can they think?

"I'm not going to change [the name] because a tiny percentage of the population has an issue with it."

Black women are insignificant and their lives are meaningless to me. Also, I'm a white man and no one is a better judge of what is and isn't racist than white men.

How else do you think we got to where we are now?