Just One Night

Sayori let out a big sigh. Why today? Why did she feel so hollow and sad today? She had been recovering well from her depression in the past few months. She was happy that the school year was almost over. She had been looking forward to this night for a long time, and yet she didn't feel excited in the slightest. She had done her hair and makeup, and put on a nice looking dress. She looked good, well as good as someone like her could look anyway. Yet, she somehow still wasn't content. It wasn't as if something was missing, she just felt no joy or pride for her efforts. She had just felt empty all day. Yesterday and the day before felt fine, so why was she so down today? It was annoying that she felt like this on today of all days. She had spent so much time picking out her dress and practicing the dances with MC. Prom was a special event, she couldn't afford to spend it moping around.

Her phone suddenly buzzed. MC was ready to go. 'I'll probably feel better once we get to the dance,' she tried to convince herself. She wasn't sure if she could believe that. Still, she decided to hope for the best and responded to MC, saying that she was ready. She prepared to put on her most convincing happy face for him. She didn't want MC to worry about her.

A few minutes later, MC rang Sayori's doorbell. When Sayori answered the door, MC was stunned. Sayori was wearing crimson a one-piece dress, matching the color of her bow. Instead of her usual messy bedhead, her hair was neatly brushed. Her makeup also looked fantastic, her eyeliner in particular accentuating her gorgeous, blue eyes. She even had a sweet cinnamon smell to her. MC always thought Sayori was cute, but this was the first time she had looked so beautiful. "Wow! You look really… amazing," MC said to Sayori.

"Ehehe, why thank you, handsome," Sayori responded as she gave a flirtatious wink to MC. MC was also dressed up for the prom. He had a jet-black tuxedo with a bow tie and black shoes. The color of his clothes perfectly matched his deep, dark brown eyes and hair. His hair was also neatly combed as well. It usually looked pretty nice regardless, but Sayori appreciated the extra effort.

"So uhh… shall we head out?" MC asked.

"O-of course," Sayori said, snapping back to reality after staring at MC for a bit.

They left and started walking to the school. It felt weird to be walking to school in the evening. The clouds that filled the sky were a distinct orange color due to the setting sun. Heat was still lingering in the air. The humidity was also rather high, a common occurrence in the late spring and early summer climate. The heat and humidity formed an absolutely miserable combination for MC, who was now regretting getting a black tuxedo. MC wished he had gotten a taxi or even rented a limo. Alas, it was too late to do anything but walk. At least the school wasn't a huge distance from their two houses.

When the couple arrived at the school, MC was completely overheated. Despite his best efforts to hide this from Sayori, she still picked up on it.

"You feeling okay?" she asked, slightly concerned.

"It's just way hotter than I expected," MC said, panting in between words. "I'll be fine once we get into the building," MC continued. He said this to convince Sayori that he was fine, and to give himself some sort of hope that the rest of the night wouldn't be like this.

The pair eventually made their way to the dance hall. MC's eyes immediately locked on to a punchbowl. He was completely parched from the walk. He quickly went over and poured himself a glass. It tasted amazing. The punch had a sweet taste with a small hint of bitterness. MC wasn't sure if the punch was that good, or if his body was thanking him for finding something to drink. After finishing a glass, he turned around to find Sayori staring at him with a grin on her face.

"He he, I guess you were pretty thirsty," she said. "But seriously MC, let's get to dancing already, we didn't come here for the punch." Her voice was slightly impatient.

"Hang on, just one more," MC responded as he refilled his glass.

Sayori let out a slight sigh to herself. She really wanted to get dancing to keep her mind focused on something. She was still nervous about the lingering emptiness she felt. It was strange she was feeling this way. Practicing the dances with MC had been some her happiest moments in the past few months. She wasn't sure why. Maybe that she just liked dancing? Or perhaps she enjoyed being so close to him? Either way it felt amazing. MC had seemed to like it as well, despite Natsuki mercilessly teasing him about his dancing skills.

A voice suddenly interrupted her thoughts. "Didn't you want to dance?" MC had quickly finished his second glass of punch and was now facing Sayori. She realized that she had to perk up a bit.

"Of course, let's go," Sayori said with enthusiasm as she grabbed MC's hand.

Sayori eventually found a good spot and started dancing with MC. Her hopes that dancing would improve her mood were quickly dashed. There was something off about MC's expression. He seemed uncomfortable. Was he still hot? That had to be it, right? Maybe he could sense something was wrong with her? She certainly hoped not. Still, she became more concerned at experiencing no joy from dancing. She had loved it even days before, what was different now? Why couldn't she feel anything? She'd had some bad days in the past few months, but even they didn't feel as dull and dreary as today did. Perhaps the joy she found from dancing was only a temporary relief? What if all of her recovery in the past months was just also temporary? Was it just wishful thinking on her part? Did she manage to delude herself into thinking it would get better? Was everything going to go back to the way it was before she got help? Dark thoughts kept relentlessly pounding in Sayori's head. The longer she kept having them, the worse they got. She would normally try and actively challenge these thoughts, a technique she had learned from her therapist, but it was impossible to do so while she was dancing. Not to mention she had to appear fine to MC. She couldn't lose focus. Sadly, Sayori couldn't juggle everything at once. The thoughts had free reign over her mind. Her happy façade started to waver.

MC was rather irritated. While the building was much cooler than outside, it still wasn't cool enough to be comfortable. Maybe if he could take off his outer jacket it would be fine, but there was nowhere to put it. He couldn't risk losing part of the tuxedo. His parents would be furious with him if he did. He figured he'd have to grin and bear it. At least it was just one night, one hot, sweaty, thirsty, and uncomfortable night. He wanted more punch, since it was the only thing that could temporarily alleviate his discomfort, but he didn't want to interrupt the current dance with Sayori. He knew that she loved dancing. She had been so excited for this night; he didn't want to ruin it by continuously ditching her for a drink. MC then noticed that there was something off about Sayori's current expression. Was something bothering her?

"Is something wrong, Sayori?" MC asked with concern.

Sayori started internally panicking. MC had caught on. She needed to quickly convince him that it was just some minor issue. "S-sorry I'm just… nervous," Sayori said, hoping MC would believe her.

"That's ok, I'm pretty anxious too," MC responded. He gave Sayori a reassuring smile. He knew that Sayori could be very self-conscious, despite what her naive and bubbly outside appearance otherwise suggested. He was glad it was merely normal nervousness.

Sayori mentally sighed with relief. She was glad MC bought her explanation. She just wanted him to enjoy the night. She didn't want to drag MC down with her. 'C'mon Sayori, focus,' She told herself, 'I don't want my stupid feelings to ruin MC's night.' Why were the rainclouds bothering her now? If it was any other day she could deal with them, but tonight was supposed to be special. "It's the most magical night of your young lives," she had heard many adults say. Yet, it didn't feel different than any other day. In fact, it felt even worse. Why couldn't she enjoy this? Why can't she just be happy? What was wrong with her? She knew the answer. It was a hard truth she didn't want to admit. She was just a broken mess of a person. She didn't deserve MC. All she would ever do is make him miserable. Her inability to deal with her own problems wasn't enough, she also had to be selfish and suck someone else into them. She should just disappear. She should hang… NO. She couldn't deal with this anymore. This was the worst she had felt since the night of her suicide attempt. She was on the verge of completely breaking down. But, she couldn't do it in front of MC or the rest of her schoolmates. She had to leave the dance hall and fast. She stopped dancing.

"MC, I need to use the bathroom," Sayori said, desperately trying to hide the anxiety in her voice.

"Ok, guess I'll get some more punch then," MC responded.

"Hopefully the hallways aren't still crowded," she said, "I'll be back in a bit." Sayori quickly left the dance hall. She made her way towards the bathroom, becoming more and more distressed. She was on the verge of tears by the time she got into the bathroom.

MC sipped on some more punch. Sayori going to the bathroom gave him a nice break to enjoy a nice cold, refreshing beverage. He decided to look around the room to see if he could find an air vent or fan. Dancing in front of any sort of cool air would help tremendously.

At least Sayori was alone in the bathroom. She took long, deep breaths to try and calm her self down. This was pathetic, it's just dancing, how could she feel like this? No, she had to stop herself. If she kept going, she would start crying, which would smear her makeup. If that happened, she wouldn't be able to hide what she was feeling. The night would be completely ruined. MC would be so disappointed in her. He was probably already disappointed in her. I mean he knew something was up earlier. If even MC could pick up that she was distressed, it must have meant that she was doing a bad job of wearing her happy mask. She was a complete failure. She couldn't even fake being happy on prom of all days. If she couldn't be happy now, then she'd never be happy. Tears started to form in her eyes. The first one fell. After that, the floodgates opened.

After crying for a bit, Sayori looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was a complete and total mess. There was no going back now. Her phone buzzed, it was a text from MC asking if she was ok. She still didn't want to worry MC. She said that she got lost. Not the best excuse she could come up with, but her current mental state didn't really allow her to think of a better one.

'So she got lost, huh?' MC mused to himself. It was a little odd, but MC knew she could be a pretty big airhead sometimes, so it was certainly possible. Maybe being in the school this late had messed with her navigation? He continued wandering around the dance hall, looking for some spot that was cool. Eventually, all of the punch he had drunk went to his bladder. He left to find the bathroom. It was pretty easy to locate, how could Sayori have gotten lost? Oh well, it wasn't a big deal.

Sayori heard footsteps in the hallway. She become nervous that someone would see her. Fortunately, they went into the men's room instead. Sayori was still having negative thoughts, but at least the crying had stopped. She wasn't feeling any better, she just didn't have the energy to cry anymore. Being a bit calmer now, she tried to think of what to do next. Well, being in a nasty school bathroom certainly wouldn't help, so she decided to go outside to attempt to clear her head. If MC got concerned, she could just say she got lost again or wanted some fresh air. She got some paper towels and started to wipe off some of her smudged makeup. Once she was done cleaning up, she exited the bathroom. As she started to walk down the hall, she heard the other bathroom door open. Her heart jumped as she heard what voice spoke to her.

"Sayori?" MC asked.

Sayori turned around, looking completely ashamed of her self.

"Are you okay? What's wrong? Did someone hurt you? Are in trouble?" MC's voice became more concerned the longer he went on.

"I'm just having… bad thoughts," Sayori managed weakly say.

MC grew very concerned at the tone of her voice. It felt devoid of all life. Looking at her face, he could tell that she had been crying quite heavily. This was something beyond bad thoughts. He really wished that Sayori would tell him when she was having issues. It felt like Sayori didn't trust him.

"I hurt you didn't I?" Sayori said, "I've messed up everything." Her voice started to become shaky.

Whatever bitterness MC had about Sayori's secrecy was now gone. He needed to comfort her. The truth was she had hurt him a little, but she was clearly in much more pain than he was. He needed to find some way of comforting her.

"You look exhausted, let's go home so you can get some rest," MC suggested. He figured there was no way Sayori's mood was going to improve by staying at prom. He tried to give a small smile to comfort her, and to show that he wasn't angry about leaving. Of course, it was hard to do given how much pain Sayori was in.

"I ruined everything," Sayori said as tears started forming in her eyes.

This was bad, very bad. 'Her depression must be awful tonight,' MC thought to himself. He had been around Sayori before when she had bouts of depression, but this had easily been the worst since the night of her suicide attempt. He had to tread carefully. He knew Sayori's brain would twist anything he said to her in the worst possible light. He decided to start with the one thing that always helped, he wrapped his arms around her. She started crying into his suit.

"I'm s-s-sorry," Sayori sobbed. "The negative thoughts w-were too much. I-I-I tried to fight them b-but they were…" Sayori couldn't continue. Her brain was in a complete storm of despair.

MC started to slowly stroke Sayori's hair, since he knew it also helped soothe her. "I know you tried your best. You've been looking forward to this ever since we started dating. I know you would try everything in your power to salvage this night."

"A-and now it's ruined…" Even more tears flowed into MC's shirt. Why did this night have to be so awful? Her and MC would never be able to go to prom again. She completely destroyed any chance of happiness on this night. Despite trying her best, she couldn't be happy dancing with the love of her life on prom night. More and more negative thoughts continued to swarm her, her breakdown in the bathroom having shattered any shred of defense left.

MC could tell Sayori was in even more emotional turmoil now. 'Wow, amazing job, you made everything worse,' MC thought to himself. His confidence in his ability to comfort Sayori took a giant nosedive. But, he couldn't let that stop him from trying again. Anxiety crept into his mind as he tried to think of some way to save this. As more tears stained his shirt, his guilt increased. Why did he just buy that Sayori was simply nervous? Why couldn't he tell she how distressed she was? How did this night end up like this? Everything was fine yesterday, how could one night have caused so much pain? 'One night...' MC thought to himself, 'wait, that's it!' MC suddenly had an idea. He prayed that this time, his comforting words would work.

"Sayori," He slowly began, "it's just one night. I know you liked dancing, but it's not like we have to stop once prom is over." He tried his best to remain calm. He didn't want Sayori to doubt the sincerity of what he was saying.

'It's just one night,' Sayori thought to herself. She knew MC was right.

"Sayori," MC continued. "I really liked dancing with you. I'd be happy to do it again."

Something changed in Sayori's head. The thoughts kept coming in, but now she could fight them off. She had a small ray of light in the dark storm. This wasn't like the night she tried to hang herself. She wasn't alone in this anymore. She had the help of her therapist, her parents, the literature club, and MC. This thunderstorm was only temporary.

Despite her newfound confidence, Sayori knew defeating the thoughts would be a challenge. They kept tormenting her about how selfish she was. How she couldn't be happy on her prom. How she ruined the night for MC. She knew that MC wasn't mad at her, but this didn't ease her guilt of her issues ruining the night. She kept trying to find some sort of counterattack to this guilt, but wasn't having any luck. She let go of MC, ending their embrace. "I know you're not mad at me, but I'm still sorry that I ruined our special night," Sayori apologized.

"You didn't ruin anything Sayori," MC responded. "If anyone ruined this night, it's the person who set the air conditioner to be this goddamn hot," MC said, with a surprising amount of venom in his voice. He suddenly felt guilty for complaining about being hot, since Sayori had gone through a mental breakdown. "Sorry, I don't any justification to complain…" MC started to apologize.

"So you weren't having a good time either?" Sayori asked MC.

"Well I wasn't having a terrible time exactly," MC recalled, "I mean, the punch was pretty good, and I did get to dance with you."

Sayori blushed slightly at the last comment. Did MC actually say something smooth? 'At least something positive happened tonight,' Sayori thought. Slowly, the negative thoughts dissipated from her head. She gave a slight smile to MC. "The thoughts are gone now," she started, "thanks MC, you're the best." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Come on, let's go home," MC said with a warm smile on his face. He was happy that Sayori was feeling better, but also because he had actually managed to cheer her up. However, she also looked pretty worn out. Sayori clearly needed some rest, and he needed to get some relief from the uncomfortable heat. So, heading home was the best option for both of them.

When Sayori went outside with MC, she was surprised at how bright it still was. The sun was lower in the sky, but it still hadn't fully set. The clouds from before had started to clear up though, giving a good view of the sunset. Sayori greatly appreciated it. On days like this, she tried to cling to whatever small things gave her joy. It was strange how little time had actually passed since they went to prom. Sayori felt like they were there for an eternity. Time always seemed to slow down when she was suffering. It was just another way the universe showed it hated her. 'No! I'm not doing this again,' Sayori told herself. She just didn't have the energy to deal with another downward spiral of negative thoughts. She looked towards MC to try and distract herself. It looked like he had something on his mind.

"Hey, MC, you okay?" Sayori asked him.

"Hmm…uh," MC responded, sounding fairly flustered, "It's nothing, don't worry about it."

Sayori could tell he was hiding something. "MC, you helped me so much earlier," Sayori started, "I know something's bothering you."

MC sighed. He really couldn't hide much from her could he? "Let me think about how to put this…" he told Sayori.

MC nervously swallowed, he really couldn't afford to make Sayori upset again. "Alright, don't take this the wrong way but… I'm just wondering why didn't you didn't tell me you were feeling bad?" Sayori's face immediately dropped a bit. "I'm not mad or anything, I'm more curious," MC reassured her.

Sayori paused for a bit to think about what to say. "I just didn't want to upset you. I wanted you to enjoy tonight. We'd been waiting for this for so long. I didn't want to ruin it for you."

"Sayori, I would've felt guilty if you weren't enjoying yourself."

"I'm sorry," Sayori said, her voice starting to tremble slightly.

"Sayori it's ok," MC said as he put his arm around her. "If you're ever feeling like this again, I want you to tell me." MC's face looked a bit downcast. "Look, I know I'm not the best with words, and I haven't had the best track record with this sort of thing, but I want to learn how to help you." His face suddenly had a look of fierce determination. "I think we both know that this isn't the last time you're going to feel like this. I know it's hard for you, but that's why I want to help you. I can't do that if you keep these things from me." MC gave Sayori a warm, loving smile. "I know you don't want me to worry about you. And while I appreciate your concern for me, I'm always going to worry about you, because I love you."

After what MC said, it kind of clicked for Sayori. He actually cared about her. Of course she knew that he did, but often, the negative voices would tell her that he was only with her out of guilt and pity. She never doubted MC's intentions, but now, she finally believed in them wholeheartedly. Sayori suddenly kissed MC on the lips, and wrapped her arms around him. She was surprised at how forward she was being, but couldn't think of any other way to express her gratitude. It felt heavenly, like everything bad that happened tonight had just disappeared. She held the kiss for a while, not wanting it to end. Though eventually she let go, giving MC some breathing room.

"Thank you, MC," Sayori said to him. She looked at his flustered face, easily one of his most adorable ones. She couldn't believe how much MC had matured over these past months. She never thought he could be so thoughtful and sensitive. She used to be nervous about letting him know about her troubles, but that needed to change now. "You're right, I shouldn't keep these things from you anymore. If we're going to be together, I need to share them with you," Sayori said with confidence.

The couple walked hand-in-hand back to Sayori's house. As soon as the door opened, MC felt a huge amount of relief as the cool air from the house hit him. He finally had salvation from the dreadful heat! His clothes were still very hot and sweaty though. "Oh thank god, I can't wait anymore," MC proclaimed as he started taking off his shirt and pants.

Sayori couldn't believe what MC was doing . She figured he just wanted to cool down, but he did know the implications of what he was doing, right? She supposed that he must have still had some of that awkwardness left in him. Sayori suddenly had a rather mischievous idea. "Um… sorry MC, I'm not really in the mood tonight…" Sayori quietly said to him.

"Huh?" MC was very confused, before he suddenly realized what Sayori was talking about. His face suddenly turned to a deep red. "That isn't…I didn't mean…I just wanted to… I uhh…"He could barely finish a coherent sentence.

'He's so cute when he's embarrassed like this,' Sayori mused to herself, 'my plan worked perfectly, ehehe~.' She started laughing for the first time today. It felt like a huge weight off her shoulders. Still, she figured she should probably stop enjoying MC's embarrassment so much. "Relax, MC, I was only kidding," she told him with a beaming smile.

MC calmed down. Though he was a little annoyed, his mood improved when he saw Sayori's face. It warmed his heart to know that it was even possible for her to smile like that after what had happened tonight.

"There's a fan in the closet by the stairs, that should help you cool off," Sayori told MC. She then let out a huge yawn, and suddenly remembered how worn out she was. "I'm going to turn in for the night MC, but don't be afraid of waking me up if you need anything." MC nodded and then headed for the closet to find the fan.

By the time Sayori was done brushing her teeth and putting on her pajamas, she could barely even keep her eyes open. She flopped down on the bed and snuggled under the blankets. Unfortunately sleep wasn't as easy to come by as she hoped. She still had some lingering sadness from the day's events. The kiss and her little prank on MC earlier were both only a temporary relief. She knew it was bad to dwell on everything that had happened, but the rainclouds just wouldn't leave her alone. But, this wasn't like the massive torrent from earlier, more like a very light drizzle. Today was just one of those awful days, but at the very least it was almost over. She also knew that her exhaustion would eventually overpower the lingering rainclouds. As she slowly started to drift off, she suddenly remembered something MC had said, "It's just one night." This gave Sayori great comfort, even if the rainclouds wouldn't leave today, they could easily be gone by tomorrow. That was the last thing she thought of before finally going to sleep and getting some much deserved rest.