WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

Federal Treasurer and aspiring Coalition Prime Minister Josh Frydenberg has this afternoon gone the extra mile to get the nation’s budget ship shape today.

With an election looming, and the Nightwatchman’s government in dire straits, Frydenberg exclusively told The Advocate this afternoon that he knew this year’s budget had to be spot on.

“The budget needs to return to surplus, poor people need to get stuff, our base need tax cuts, our future employees need tax cuts and regulatory loop holes , and it needs to make sense” said a visibly stressed Frydenberg.

“So that’s why I paid a visit to the Sydney Roosters’ accountant this afternoon, the masters of massaging the books to make the numbers work out.”

“Let me tell you, anyone who can fit Cooper Cronk, James Tedesco, Luke Keary, Trell, JWH, Angus Crichton, Boyd Cordner, Brett Morris and Ryan Hall into the same team is good with numbers.”

Frydenberg refused to confirm or deny whether any TPA’s (Third Party Agreements) would feature in the budget, but hinted at giving board members at large multinational companies beach front apartments and houses rather than corporate tax cuts.

“Were not Parramatta, The Sharks or Manly,” Frydenburg laughed.

“We’ll be keeping everything pretty tidy and ship shape.”

Frydenberg then told us that he’s feeling pretty good ahead of the budget.

“I’m pretty confident, and if it goes down well, then I’ll start getting the ball rolling with plans to oust Sco-Mo in a few months time.”

More to come.