In the words of the Lost Boys…

“Anyone who wants to try

And make me turn into a (wo)man

Catch me if you can

I won’t grow up

Not a penny will I pinch

I will never grow a mustache (hopefully)

Or a fraction of an inch

Cause growing up is awfuller

Than all the awful things that ever were”

Unfortunately for all the “lost boys and girls” out there, this isn’t Neverland, not even close. Growing up is inevitable and it’s beginning to become more and more apparent that when it’s finally that time, just as the fairy tale alludes, the longer you fight it the more lost you find yourself. You took all the right steps, went to college and spent 4 (or 5,6,7) years convincing yourself, Its okay that your major doesn’t captivate you, or that you have no idea what you want to do with your future. Because your major is broad and as long as you finish and get that degree things will fall into place, like magic. Only you didn’t realize how soon college would actually be over, and you are NOT ready to be defined by the C-word, career. If only Tinkerbell could sprinkle her fairy dust, and with a few happy thoughts you could magically land precisely where you are suppose to be in life.

Its only, that magical place of “suppose to be land” exists 9:00-5:00 five days a week and is filled with cubicles, memos, stale coffee, and Jim from accounting, whose months of “serendipitous” encounters and mindless gawking will eventually lead to a pathetic attempt to ask me out. So needless to say I haven’t been in a rush to tap my ruby slippers three times to land in this foreign land to be saved from an oncoming train of emails by my Knight in Shining Khakis with a luke-warm latte.

Recently however, while keeping busy trying to avoid moving into this anti-fantasy that is my perception of adulthood, i’ve started to face my actual reality. Chalk it up to a mid-twenties/ adulthood crisis but all of the sudden growing up vs. not growing up have both become just as mind numbingly terrifying.

When you arrive at this crossroads, no matter how narrow or winding the road to adulthood seems, All of us lost people rapidly approaching the end of “early adulthood” with an unused degree in hand, know with absolute certainty… That these struggles are real.

Justification Without Rationalization:

“I make plenty of money serving tables and bar-tending, just as much or more than I would with a start up salary”

“It’s not like I am going to be doing this forever”

“With these hours I can easily look for another job, or get a part-time one using my degree”

“At least I am doing better than he/she is”

Your defense is stronger than the Berlin Wall, but no matter how hard you try to dictate, your conscious starts to tear it down. Which brings us to the second struggle…

Contentment With Resentment:

Otherwise know as when, “its so easy almost anyone could do it” goes wrong. Sure you can have a random tuesday off and chose to work around your personal schedule. And yeah, Its nice and easy to stroll into work at a-typical hours and easily get employee of the month while only using 60% of your brainpower. Then again so is it for the kid who just graduated high school…

Yes, giving good customer service is rewarding and something to be proud of, but taking orders and credit cards when you should be taking business cards isn’t.

Debt With Regret:

A.K.A our “time of the month”, when the student loan payments come in acting as constant reminders of just how much money and time is wasting away. But, unfortunately feminine hygiene products can’t slow the flow of interest rates.

And all the sudden you think about Company-Wide Health Insurance Benefits and rollin up to the Clinic and making it rain antibiotics.

For Better or Worse:

This is of course referring to the sense of envy vs. entitlement we have to friends, foes, and those individuals that surround us. Ultimately it is the reaction we feel to any act perceived as an individual making a transformation in life towards growing up.

Hating someone for being wildly successful, but feeling sorry for someone having the responsibility of taking care of a child, when in actuality the individuals could feel the exact opposite. Just like half of the married people with newborn children think that by definition they have reached the peak of adulthood, while others managing multimillion dollar companies could not fathom the responsibility of having a family.

No education, degree, or time frame decides when its time to “grow up” you do. And for better or worse, for richer or poor, lost or found, the struggle is real.

You just have to try your best not to lose your marbles.