"Since I was abused I have been really disgusted by everyone’s response to this incident, they might see the funny side in it but I certainly do not."

Earlier this year I moved to Australia for three months work.

It was a trip I had been planning on doing for years and some of the memories I made over there will last me a lifetime. Unfortunately, some of those memories were unpleasant, rather unpleasant indeed.

While I was working over there, a woman, who was a similar age to my mother, sexually abused me.

As a young male in my mid 20s I had never considered the possibility of being sexually abused or being taken advantage of in such a way by a woman.

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I had met this woman on several occasions before the incident occurred. On one of these occasions, I was the designated driver for a friend who had consumed too many beers at the local pub.

He eventually passed out and was having a snooze on the footpath outside the pub. Both her and I had seen that he was in a bad way so I went outside to take him home and put him to bed.

What happened next baffled me. She jumped on top of him and told me, “leave him here I want to take him upstairs and f... him”. I quickly threw her off him, grabbed him and got out of there.

A couple of weekends later, I was the one who had over indulged in beer. I had been drinking all afternoon and ended up at a big house party with all of my mates who I had met while I was working over there. Some were even friends from the same New Zealand town I grew up in.

By 2am I was in the same predicament my mate was in just a few weekends ago. She waited until I was rotten drunk and had wandered outside to have a sleep on the lawn. That's when she came and took advantage of my bleak situation.

The worst part about this story is that some of my mates were there when she made her move. Instead of telling her to leave me alone, they encouraged her and said: “Why don’t you put him on the back of the ute?”

She dragged me over to my neighbour's ute and somehow managed to get me up on the tray. I will leave what happened next to your imagination.

I got in touch with one of my friends who was there the following week to ask him about what happened to me, as my memory of the night was blurred due to the large quantities of alcohol that I had consumed.

He instantly started laughing and said, “you were like a lamb led to the slaughter,” to which I replied, “geeze, thanks a lot mate for stopping that”. His response was, “oh well, it was a bit of a laugh wasn’t it.”

Unfortunately, the whole community where I was staying heard about what happened, and they, like my mate, thought it was a huge joke. I was given grief about the incident by everyone until I left to come back home to New Zealand.

A month after being back home I caught up with one of my Kiwi friends who was working for another farmer in the same district. Within 10 minutes of catching up with him he burst out laughing and said: “Remember that time you got raped?”

Since I was abused I have been really disgusted by everyone’s response to this incident. They might see the funny side in it but I certainly do not.

If I was a young female who passed out drunk at a party and was sexually abused by a male twice her age, I am sure that everyone would be very mad about the situation and would make sure justice was served. But because I am a male, everyone thought it was a huge joke and made fun of me.

I am not writing this article because I am upset about being abused, I can live with that, I am writing this article because a victim of sexual harassment should not be laughed at because a woman abused him.

I believe people need to change their perception towards rape because men can and have been abused by women. I can say from my experience, it's no joke or laughing matter.

Where to get help, sexual violence

Rape Crisis - 0800 88 33 00 (24hr service), click link for information on local helplines

Victim Support - 0800 842 846 (24hr service)

The Harbour, online support and information for people affected by sexual abuse

Women's Refuge (Females only) - crisis line available on 0800 733 843

Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Trust (Males only), Helplines across NZ, click to find out more