What better way to start a Monday morning than with a dumpster truck full of angry, bad language? A self-described Clinton expert sent us some comments allegedly made by Sen. Hillary Clinton in which she hates on Jews, Irish, sluts, Maureen Dowd, preschoolers, health care, state troopers, the Secret Service and her own husband. While our tipster was unable to spell out profanity without using asterisks, he assures us that the dated, yet hilarious comments are sourced. Phew! Because we didn’t really want to spend our morning fact checking this shit. So, let’s chat. Let’s share, and start a dialogue. Let’s go back to a kinder, more gentler time when seething, anger and bitterness were acknowledged virtues. After the jump, feel the warmth:

“Fuck off! It’s enough that I have to see you shit kickers every day. I’m not going to talk to you, too. Just do your goddamn job and keep your mouth shut.” -to Arkansas state trooper bodyguards (American Evita, p. 90)

“You fucking idiot.” -to a state trooper who was driving her to an event. (Crossfire, p. 84).



“That sorry son of a bitch.” -what Hillary would often refer to Bill around the Arkansas’s governor’s mansion, according to state trooper Larry Patterson.

“Personal, trained pigs.”-Hillary describing Secret Service. (Unlimited Access, p. 90).



“Get fucked! Get the fuck out of my way! Get out of my face!” -Hillary, overheard by Secret Service details. (Hillary’s Scheme, p. 89)



“Stay the fuck back, stay the fuck away from me! Don’t come within ten yards of me, or else! … Just fucking do as I say, okay!” –to Secret Service agents who were committed to protecting her life (Unlimited Access, p. 139).

“What the fuck is going on?” -to a Secret Service agent after she read an article by a UC Berkeley student critical of Chelsea Clinton who was subsequently interrogated by the Secret Service (SFGate.com, 11/26/97).

“Motherfucker. Cocksucker.” -favorite names for husband (Boy Clinton, p. 278)



“You goddamn stupid fucking fool.” –to Bill (Newsmax.com, 07/15/00).



“You fucking asshole.”-to husband on Inauguration Day (Hillary’s Choice, p. 223).



“You stupid motherfucker.” -another Inauguration Day salvo (The Seduction of Hillary Rodham, p. 321).

“Gentlemen, I have looked at your proposal, and it’s pure bullshit! Now you’ve had your meeting! Get out!” -First Lady to health insurance executives after a meeting in which they presented their proposal for health care reform (Unlimited Access, p. 88).

“What the fuck are you doing up there? You get back here right away.” -on the phone chastising Bill because he had floated a health care reform proposal that differed from hers (The Survivor, p. 118). As always, one must wonder who elected her, anyway?

“Come back here, you asshole! Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”-to the president when he tried to avoid her (Unlimited Access, p. 192).

“How could you be so damn stupid? How could you do that?”-to her hubby, our president, at the White House in front of guests, after he had done something of which Hillary disapproved (U.S. News & World Report, 02/05/96).

“You stupid fucking moron. How could you risk your presidency for this?-to Bill when the Monica Lewinsky scandal broke in January 1998 (Newsmax.com, 12/09/01).

“Fuck him, Bill. He’s Reagan’s goddamn vice president!”-to Bill in response to an invitation from Vice President George H.W. Bush to come to his home in Maine, circa 1984 (Crossfire, p. 69).

“That’ll teach them to fuck with us.”-to aides, immediately following her “Vast right-wing conspiracy” charge on national television (The Case Against Hillary Clinton, p. 162).

“The sorry damn son of a bitch.”-Hillary’s reaction upon being informed that Bill was missing from the governor’s mansion in the middle of the night because “he had gone for a drive” (Inside the White House, p. 240).

“You are a real shit, do you know that, Bill? Christ, a real shit.” -another fight of many fights with Bill (Bill & Hillary, p. 132).

“Come on, Bill, put your dick up. You can’t fuck her here.”-to husband, then Governor, after catching him talking to an attractive woman at a political rally (Inside the White House, p. 243).

“You sold out you motherfucker. You sold out!” -Hillary to attorney Joseph Califano (Inside: A Public and Private Life, p. 213).

“I want to get this shit over with and get these damn people out of here.”-Hillary overheard on the Arkansas governor’s mansion intercom as preschoolers posed on the mansion lawn for a photograph (The First Partner, p. 192).

“Just keep smiling until these assholes get their pictures.”-instructions to her husband while they were posing for photographers (American Evita, p. 114).

“She’s a short, Irish bitch.”-regarding The New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd (New York Post, 07/25/00).

“You fucking Jew bastard.”-honoring campaign manager Paul Fray’s rich religious heritage on the night of Bill Clinton’s defeat for the House of Representatives in 1974 (The State of A Union, p. 153).

“You all remember Mahatma Ghandi. He ran a gas station down in St. Louis.”-said during a speech at a

Democratic fundraiser (CNN, 01/04/04). Senator Clinton was later forced to apologize.

“I can’t think of any.” -response to Dick Morris when asked to name some defects or weaknesses she could improve in order to soften her negative public image (Shadow, p. 335).