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Actually, regular cult members saw so little action that even touching a PICTURE on its bathing suit area gave them the vapors.

"One of the daily rituals we had to do was worshipping a murti. In this case, the murti is a very large, close to life-sized photo of the guru. We were supposed to wash this photo down with holy cloths and anoint the chakras with holy oil ... One of the chakras is the root chakra, which is basically the butthole. Evidently one of the women was having such trouble focusing on her holy path and not be distracted by sexual thoughts that she asked that we skip the anointing of the root chakra on the photo of the guru."

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Sometimes all this weird spiritual slamming was couched in the guise of discipline, which is normally the best kind of slamming and discipline. "One of the ex-commune members told me that he left after he had bragged to the guru that he had the best, most faithful wife ever," Raina says. The guru took it as a challenge, and "around two hours later, this guy responded to a summons from the guru. When he stepped into the guru's quarters, there was his wife on her knees giving the guru a blowjob. I guess it was supposed to teach the guy a lesson in humility. Or something."