You should take a deep breath before you do anything, ever. This especially includes before you press "Post" or "Tweet."

2. Think about your goal.

What are you trying to do with this comment? Start a conversation? Learn something? Solve a problem? Or are you trying to hurt someone or punish them because you feel hurt? Or maybe you are you trying to make yourself look good and make someone else look stupid? Think about it. If your goal is to actually further engage, does your comment have the potential to do that? If your goal is to actually hurt someone's feelings, then hey, you're a grown-up. Maybe delete and take a walk around the block.

3. Remember that words have meaning.

It might sound good to make a rhetorical point by calling someone a murderer or a racist or a rapist but are they? Really? If they are, unfriend them on Facebook and call the police immediately. But if they aren't, then probably choose another name to call them or better yet, don't call them names at all.

4. Remember that all actions have consequences.

And the thing about the internet is that you don't always see the consequences. Use your imagination and think about what the likely consequences are of what you are about to write. The Golden Rule still applies. How would you feel if someone said to you what you are about to say, and said it in front of the whole world? Would you say this thing that you have just written if the person was standing in front of you?

5. Don't like or retweet mean comments.

You know what's worse than having someone say hurtful things to you? When a whole horde of people behind them pile on and yell, "Yeah! That's right! What she said!" You know what's more cowardly than saying mean things over social media? Liking someone else's mean things.

6. If you make a mistake, apologize.

We've all done it. See: the above Becca story. As non-robots, it's inevitable that we will make mistakes. So when you do, when things get personal and you realize you've hurt someone's feelings, just say sorry. It might lead to deeper understanding or even friendship. Sorry can be magical.

7. Don't put other people's crap in your mouth.

That one, except with a swear word, is from my mediation teacher. If it's inevitable that you will make mistakes, it's inevitable other people will too. Things will get nasty, personal, whatever, and you might never get an apology and you know what? It'll be okay if you're okay with yourself. When people get mean, it's about them, not you. I know this sounds like basic first day of kindergarten stuff, but it bears repeating because it still happens and it will still hurt when it happens and the only possible thing you can do is feel hurt and then move on. Someone who lashes out at you online is probably insecure and maybe miserable and maybe scared. It's worse for them than it is for you, guaranteed.

So friends! Go out and get in discussions! Share your thoughts! Let things get real! Let things get heated! But always remember there is a human on the other end of your screen and a bunch of kids watching you, trying to figure out how they should act online. It sucks but you're the adult now. So remember Becca and act like it.