Every girl has sometime in her life been reprimanded by her mother for the short hemline of her skirt or the top that revealed too much. In all likelihood, she cribbed but also obliged because she’d been told that revealing too much skin invited trouble. Not only this, she’d also be constantly warned against strangers! ‘Stranger is danger,’ she’d been told too often. But when these same girls fall victim to gruesome acts, whom should we blame? Should these girls be blamed for not treating the man they saw walk behind them with deep mistrust? Or for getting on the bus without suspecting that there could be rapists waiting to pound at them? Wouldn’t this entire struggle become less daunting if we could just tell a rapist simply by looking at him? Well, this question is subject to serious questions.How is a potential rapist like? Is he a psychopath or an anti-social? Is he always publicly leching at women? If experts are to be believed, they may actually be blending well in their surroundings but may be extreme individuals. This disconcerting detail actually puts a lot of men you know under scanner. The man standing next to you in the metro, the guard of your housing society, or the guy who just started befriending you at work. Dr Shuvendu Sen, Associate Program Director, Internal Medicine Residency, Raritan Bay Medical Center explains, “A majority of rapists have anti-social and narcissistic personality disorders. What we need to know is that child molesters and rapists are troubled minds turned sick. Most of these traits develop during childhood and adolescence. Medicine, behavioral counseling, psychosocial support and allied therapies, all need to work together to harness those minds before they turn loose.”In one study, it was proved that rapists display significantly higher levels of aggression, indirect hostility, assault, negativism as well as verbal hostility. Another study revealed that rapists suffered from schizoid, sadistic and passive-aggressive traits. “A rapist doesn’t necessarily have to be under the influence of alcohol or drugs but it is the mind that is prone to such heinous acts,” Dr Sen adds.There is a theory that says men who rape are usually those who want to show dominance or authority. They feel a sense of entitlement towards punishing women and feel it is their obligation to ‘put them in their place’. Dr Rohan Bokdawala, MD Psychiatry, consultant at Shriya Polyclinic Marine Lines and GTB Hospital says, “Civilization over the years have evolved from being male dominated to gender equality. However, unfortunately a vast number have refused to accept it and feel it is their birthright to trample upon a woman. They feel what better way to teach a permanent lesson to someone than to damage her and scar her identity for life.”In some cases, childhood experiences find manifestations in one’s behavior. Dr Trupti Jayin, celebrity clinical psychotherapist and spiritual life coach explains, “Childhood history of physical and mental violence by caregivers resulting in suppressed anger and hatred towards family members can result in the abused person feeling unworthy of love. He slowly begins to believe that if he wants love, force is the only way to get it. Since childhood such children are attracted to watching the opposite sex change clothes and bathe, which is also called the peeping Tom behaviour.”Rape is considered to be one of the most underreported crimes across the world. And the very brutality of these acts leaves many trembling with fear. Dr Jayin opines, “As society gets more consumeristic and individualistic, human beings are feeling isolated. When love and affection along with acceptance is scarce, it leads to starvation and under nourishment of their consciousness. With the landscape of the mind dry and brittle, aggressiveness and violence has a field day. This leads to touch hunger which can lead to a scattered mind thinking up gruesome ways of satisfying its desires. A violent mind is hurt and can only think of hurting others.”1) Impulsivity and anger outbursts2) Verbal and physical violence without provocation3) Inappropriate touching and fondling younger siblings or friends4) Teasing behavior especially in school5) Threatening others with dire consequences6) Suspicious and paranoid behavior7) Hours spent in self stimulatory activities like masturbation increases8) Poor work ethics9) Lying and stealing begins early leading to an antisocial behavior in later life. Spins yarns to impress others10) Socially uncomfortable with opposite sex but after consuming addictive substances shows aggression11) Immature thinking and impressionable so gets influenced easily by friends12) Communication style is imitative and reverse thinking1) Inappropriate touching from people.2) Staring behavior from strangers3) Stalkers4) Lewd comments on their private parts5) Anyone who acts over friendly.6) Avoid a person who is trying to get too familiar in a drunk state.7) Someone who sits too close, presses your hand or shoulders and brushes past you repeatedly and says sorry. He obviously doesn't mean it.These points aside, long term solution lies in educating our children right from their formative years about gender equality and respecting women. Last but not the least, it is imperative to make everyone understand that NO means NO!