We're all in a rich millionaire's house, but the rich millionaire is out of town because he's literally on tour with The Eagles, so there's that.

There's a guy walking around untying people's shoes. The first thing you see when you walk in is two ladies sloppily making out and smoking an electronic cigarette. Somebody hired dancers but somebody else told them not to dance. Adam Sandler just showed up, and it looks like somebody grabbed a microphone and they're going to ask him about Grown Ups 2.

Everyone here is clearly having scoring issues. There's no plan. The most fun part of this whole thing—a guy with a cool name who's certifiably crazy and comfortable with it; he can at least stir some stuff up—he's not allowed in. The guy who keeps untying everybody's shoes, he brought his brother, but somebody else just recently uninvited his brother, so now we're thinking the shoelace business is just the beginning.

Somebody spent a lot of money on this Italian caterer and he just makes the worst decisions and I can't even explain it in words.

There's a party next door, but really it's just a Bingo Night. I don't know why they're calling it a party.

I went to a party here once and met this really cool Asian guy, but I don't think he's allowed here anymore. That was like two years ago now. They had a bunch of activities set up and he didn't do any of them and I think that pissed off the Eagles guy. I don't think he got along with the Eagles guy. Take it easy my ass. Now they don't have anything planned at all. Spike Lee's still here, though, so I guess that's kind of cool. I think I just saw some people burning money.

It's pretty much just chaos. Somebody spent $87 million on it and now everyone's leaving.

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