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Every now and again, I try to imagine a day in the life of a Republican lawmaker. ?Wake up, shower, get dressed, greet the family, and head to work.?Once there, proceed to bludgeon scientific progress in the United States with an aluminum bat and drag the carcass into a back alley to be eaten by pigeons. ?And suddenly, you’re everyone’s hero.

In their latest stunt, the House of Representatives has passed H.R. 1422, a nasty little piece of work that prohibits scientists from advising the Environmental Protection Agency. ?Yep, you read that right: environmental scientists are no longer needed to advise on environmental matters. ?Over the years, I’ve come to understand this: Republicans hate science. ?Science, being the source of facts, gets in the way of profits that would be gained from misdirection. ?Science also forces people to notice that their?actions have consequences, unlike what certain members of the GOP would want you to believe. Also, since the GOP uses religion to control people, science would get in the way of their power grab. ?And finally, Republicans don’t care about what happens to their children and their grandchildren (and so on), as long as they live comfortably in the here and now. So I get it: if people start believing in science, the GOP will throw a temper tantrum. ?And what better way prevent this than making up science as you go along?

“[H.R. 1422] Revises the operation of Board member committees and investigative panels to: (1) require that they operate in accordance with the membership, participation, and policy requirements (including new requirements for public participation in advisory activities of the Board) contained in this Act; (2) deny them authority to make decisions on behalf of the Board; and (3) prohibit direct reporting to EPA.” (Emphasis mine.)

My very angry rant aside, this is what the bill will do:

The Scientific Advisory Board must have at least 10% of its members come from local governments (read: politicians). The board must include “industry experts” (read: lobbyists whose expertise is destruction of the environment). Scientists on the board are forbidden to advise the EPA on scientific matters involving their own research (read: I’m with stupid).

Whoops, I guess my angry rant wasn’t quite over yet. ?You see, here’s what’s happening: Republicans are demanding that more lobbyists and less scientists are involved with policymaking when it comes to the environment. ?Particularly, they’re giving scientists the blanket label of climate change advocates rather than what they really are: experts. ?Then they’re trying to claim that scientists advising the EPA using?their own research?constitutes a conflict of interest.

“Wait, David! ?I’m a Republican, and I think you’re misinterpreting this law!?You’ve got it totally wrong!” ?

Do I? ?Let’s check in with Dr. Andrew Rosenberg, who holds a Ph.D. in biology, and is the’director of the Center for Science and Democracy at the Union of Concerned Scientists. ?Surely, he has a handle on what this law means, right?

“This bill [H.R. 1422] would make it easier for experts with ties to corporations affected by new rules to serve on the SAB while excluding independent scientists from talking about their own research. In other words, academic scientists who know the most about a subject can’t weigh in, but experts paid by corporations who want to block regulations can.”

Welp, there goes that theory.

On Monday, the White House released a statement of intent to veto this and two other EPA related bills that would be hitting the floor.

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