Some employees just don’t get it. They’re determined to do things the hard way. They miss deadlines, they don’t turn-in good work. Sometimes, they ignore your instruction altogether. Every leader has experience with employees like this.

When rookie managers encounter these employees, they follow a consistent playbook:

Observe an infraction from that employee Consult with HR Call the employee into your office Inform the employee of an infraction they’ve made and how it violates company guidelines Highlight that the infraction has become part of a pattern of behavior Give the employee a documented final warning or performance improvement plan

This was my process as an early manager. By-the-book, to-the-point, and leaves a nice paper trail.

One problem: it doesn’t actually help anyone.

As managers, you spend far less energy turning employees around than going through the trouble of firing and replacing them. You should exhaust every option to bring them back into the fold because it’s bad for all parties involved if the employee is fired. Many managers (me included) view terminations as a personal failure, wondering how they could have gotten through to the employee before the relationship completely deteriorated.

If you actually want your employees to improve, you need to meet them on their level and interact with them in a way that opens up communication and allows for better mutual understanding.

And of course, sometimes you don’t actually want things to improve. You’re fed up and just want these people gone. In which case, carry on, I won’t judge. We’ve all been there.

But if you’re legitimately interested in steps that have the best chance of turning things around, there are some changes you should make if you are still using the tried and true “rookie manager” formula. Next time you sit down with the employee for that “come to Jesus” talk, do something a little different.

Ask the employee to describe the situation from their perspective. In that explanation, do they take ownership of their faults and mistakes, or are they playing victim? The better you understand their mindset, the better you can orient to their perspective. Ask the employee if they truly understand why they’ve been reprimanded frequently, and to explain it in their own words. Again, it’s important to assess their understanding of the situation they’re in. Ask the employee if they’re open to the situation improving and if they still want to be here. If yes, ask them what they see as their pathway to success going forward. Prompt them if they struggle for an answer.

At their root, employee problems come down to a breakdown in understanding. The employee doesn’t have a clear grasp on the behaviors and attitudes that will allow them to be successful in this environment. And sure, sometimes it’s because they have a truly bad attitude (in which case it doesn’t hurt to try) and not every employee is open to some sort of breakthrough (again, doesn’t hurt to try).

Imagine you were in your employee’s shoes. How would you want your manager to approach you? I’ve seen countless managers complain at how stubborn and dug-in their employees are about being coached, who are themselves impossible to coach. These managers wouldn’t want to be treated as harshly by their bosses, they’d want their own leaders to meet them on their level. Treat these employees as you’d want to be treated.

To receive trust and openness, you have to give trust and openness. By better understanding your employee’s perspective and mindset, you meet them where they are, allowing your coaching to be more persuasive and impactful.

To facilitate this better understanding, you need more information, to get more information, you need to ask more questions. This is another example of why great leaders listen, because listening gives you the best information/perspective on what’s really happening.

Keep all this in mind next time you feel like it’s time for a sit down with a tough employee. Try making your “come to Jesus talk” an interview instead of a lecture. Make it a goal to get a deeper understanding of the employee and what they believe their barriers are. By focusing on this deeper understanding, you’ll be surprised by how much clearer your intuition is of whether or not the employee really wants to be there. The employees that want to stay and make it work will respond and be grateful that you’re genuinely interested in their input and voice. Those that already have their mind made up, have clearly already decided that this isn’t going to be the place for them. And…that’s fine. It makes your job all the easier.

Let me know how it works for you. Message me on Twitter or email me (patrick@patrickfigures.com). Seeing results? Consider sharing this post with someone who could benefit. Good luck out there.

-Patrick