The most-talked about QB prospect in the NFL Draft is Mitchell Trubisky, and with reason. As a college football expert, let’s go through some of our answers to many of the common questions the excited NFL fan may have about the potential number one NFL draft pick.

What would you say makes Mitchell Trubisky so good?

Um

How many games did you watch him play? What stuck out for you?

Like, four? Maybe five. We were flipping around, to be honest.

What do his peers and other players say about him?

I don’t know if they know who he is

What has NFL GMs so excited about him?

This is our best guess.

Really?

He’s big and tall and looks like a quarterback? I dunno, NFL GMs love big tall guys. He threw for 30 TDs and 6 INTs and a mess of yards, but so does everyone in Larry Fedora’s offenses? Marquise Williams was just a few points lower than him in total rating in the same offense in 2015, and he went undrafted and just got cut by the Packers, so yeah. We don’t know how you come to these decisions, or why you sometimes draft someone like Logan Thomas as a quarterback, and not as a tree that falls on your house so you can collect the insurance money. It happened, and Mitch Trubisky being drafted in the first round will likely happen, and we don’t know why

What was his most memorable moment in college?

Ah,

Just one

Listen you could be right but he played in a conference with Deshaun Watson and Lamar Jackson going off at the same time, his plumage wasn’t going to shine with peacocks like them running around the yard. He was good but forgettable. That may be the best explanation of Mitch(ell) Trubisky as a quarterback in college. He was great, when you could remember him, which you didn’t do all that often because he neither made enough spectacular mistakes to be remembered, and didn’t really blow doors off in high-profile games, either.

He did blow up Florida State at home

did he OH YES HE DID then again how hard was it to score on FSU last year—

moving on now yes

What do you think his upside is, and where will he fit best?

I think Mitch Trubisky should go to a team where he can sit for at least three years, if not more. If he can sit for five, that’s ideal.

Why?

Because he can qualify for an NFL pension and suffer little to no injury while doing it. It would be best if this team has a healthy All-Pro starter to take the hits for him while still maintaining enough health to start. If he’s feeling froggy, he can throw for heavy yardage in garbage time and/or relief duty to inflate his contract value on the open market, and then re-sign with his team to be an expensive and pampered backup. You really want to maintain this Expensive and Pampered Billy Volek Backup Life for as long as possible.

Are scouts wrong about him?

Yes, no, pick one and you will be right about a quarterback’s prospects in the NFL, we thought Jamarcus Russell would be awesome, and—

—AND WE WERE 100% RIGHT