Watching Leila Rahimi strike a pose in the gardens of Iran’s oldest palaces and mansions, you would never suspect that 15 years had lapsed since the Iranian-American model and illustrator had visited her birth country. In her vibrant head wrap and flow-y tunic, she appeared right at home. But as she paid a visit to celebrate Sizdah Bedar—the 13th day following the traditional Iranian New Year—she found herself simultaneously embracing her rich cultural history and questioning her place in it.

This, of course, didn’t keep the Los Angeles resident from exploring the sprawling palaces, or switching out of her usual Céline favorites as she learned more about local styles. Here, Rahimi lets us in on her powerful adventure.

Leila Rahimi Courtesy of Leila Rahimi / @leila.rahimi

“It’s been 15 years since I’ve returned to Iran, a place that I feel connected to historically and artistically, and isolated by politically and religiously—a place about which I feel greatly uncertain. Riding the bus for the first time in the country, I found myself fascinated and frightened by its awe-inspiring yet imperious nature. When I was a child 15 years ago, Iran didn’t threaten my liberties. Returning as a woman—an Iranian-American woman—posed challenges that felt both political and personal.”