Weezer Is Playing the Damn Mall

Taking its cue from Apple, or possibly Hot Topic, Microsoft is opening retail stores across the country, and one is coming to lucky, lucky Portland. The Portland Microsoft store opens at Pioneer Place Mall (in the former space of the Macaroni Grill, RIP forever and ever) with a celebration on Thursday, June 20 and Friday, June 21, and—here's the thing, guys, here is why I am blogging this—

Weezer is playing?

I am confused as you. So confused that I can't think of a snarky joke about this. It's just kind of—gehhh. Wait, I got one coming... A band years past their prime plays a retail opening for a brand that's well past its... eh, sorry. Kind of fizzled out there. I don't know if I can summon anything else. It's all just kind of too icky. Still, and I think I am being honest here, I'd actually rather see Weezer play a fucking Microsoft store opening than trundle out to see them at some shitty, echoey arena. Right? So there's that.

Weezer at the Microsoft Store in Pioneer Place, Fri June 21, 7 pm. Full details here. Heads up: They are expecting the line to begin on Wednesday.

Geehhhhhh.

[UPDATE: According to the Microsoft Facebook "app" that seems to be the only place with show info, the Weezer show "will be held near Pioneer Place at Pioneer Courthouse Square." You need to get tickets by waiting in line at the store opening. First 200 people get meet-and-greet tickets. It all sounds very complicated (not sure how many tickets are available) so go there if you need the skinny. As to where the store is actually located, the app says "Pioneer Place, 330 SW Yamhill Street" which is the location of the Tiffany store. Regardless, it does say the store itself is considered part of Pioneer Place. My apologies if you feel the headline, as it reads now, is inaccurate, so I'll suggest that the "damn mall" is more a state of mind than a physical place.]