Being Gay and Playing Ultimate 2017 Edition

In light of the recent YES win in the 2017 Australia same-sex marriage plebiscite, IOU Editor Max Halden shares his thoughts on being gay and playing the sport we love

Three years ago, I wrote this article about being gay and playing Ultimate. A year after that, the US Supreme Court ruled in Obergefell v. Hodges, effectively legalising same sex marriage across America. And today, Australia voted overwhelmingly to support same sex marriage in this country. So I thought I'd write a quick update.

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I am obviously stoked. I love the Ultimate Frisbee community because of how welcoming, tolerant and supportive everyone is. You can be who you are with significantly less fear of being marginalizsed, made fun of, discriminated against, or attacked. Today's result confirms nationally a feeling that I get almost every time I play Ultimate: I am valued, I am respected, I am loved.

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But amazing days like this sit alongside darker days as well. I read this article recently. It's heartbreaking and I recognised thoughts in it that had crossed my mind in the past. I strongly recommend you read the whole thing but here's a line that I think is especially pertinent to our community:

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"If you’re a gay kid and you hear someone you love say ‘fag,’ it makes you think that in their eyes you’re just a fag too. That got to me a lot."

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I've been lucky enough to have the freedom (economic, social, physical) to curate many elements of my life, including my Ultimate experience. I've found or made teams that match my values and removed myself from situations where I've felt unsafe or unwanted. Ultimate, with its inherent sense of fairness, its focus on enjoyment, and the sense of individual responsibility it inspires, has empowered me more than I can fully express.

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But it's worth remembering that not everyone is so lucky and not every day is a good day for those who suffer the effects of inequality (economic, sexual, racial, etc.). While 84% of people in my electorate voted Yes, if you drive an hour or less west in Sydney you'll find the seat of Blaxland, who voted 74% No. How do you feel today if you're a gay kid who is growing up in Bankstown or Merrylands, knowing that 3 in 4 of your neighbours don't think you should be able to marry your significant other?