Heartbroken beyond repair

This post comes after 3 hours of crying in disbelief as to how I can be treated this way.



This will be an explanation as to what just happened to me and the entirety of the experience. I don't understand and will never understand the rationale behind what they did and why they did it.



About 3 hours ago, Hockser, Mist, and Fire called me on discord. I joined up to see what was up, and I hear from fire, "We've been talking the past few days, and we are going to be looking for a new third". At first I thought it was a joke and I laughed at the absurdity of it. I brushed it off and asked what was really up and sat there in silence for about a minute. My heart began to race as the reality of the situation began to set in. I asked myself, how could this happen to me again? What could I possibly do to deserve this again? The call was very silent for the next 20 minutes, with me begging for answers as to why I was getting kicked 11 days before signups close.



The people, who I considered to be some of my best online friends, just tore my heart out and ripped it to shreds. It was like deja vu to what happened to me 2 seasons ago. Hockser and mist barely spoke a word to me. They know what they are doing is fucked up.



Nothing justifies their decision. I don't care if the best player in the world offered to team with them right now, it doesn't change the fact that you don't do that to another human being, especially a friend.



I've been speechless for the past few hours, absolutely mindblown. Our results were MORE than solid(WSOE, scrims went fairly well, etc..) yet they decide to kick me, Why? WHY????



The most I got out of them was that I got "tilted easy in comms" and brought the "team energy down". I'm willing to accept that sometimes my emotions get the best of me in comms, but that goes for nearly anyone. Hell, mist is notorious for barely comming for entire games.



To you specifically Hockser, if you are reading this, I truly considered you as one of my best friends over the time I have spent on rocket league. We have had so many laughs, so many great results, and so much fun. Maybe you never thought of me that way, but what you did to me today is........ I don't even have words. It's evil, plain and simple.



Anyways, what hurts even more is that they didn't even try and address their apparent issues with me before this. I NEVER got a "Shock, I'm a little frustrated with your comms. You need to work on not getting tilted mid game" or "Shock, I need you to bring a little more positive energy to the team, I think it would help a lot". I can work around that, but kicking me without expressing concerns? What is this? What happened to being a team?



The most I got was from hockser, who 5 days ago told me he wanted me to get my hours up. At first I was a little taken aback, since my hours on my main were 27 and my smurf had 40. But after a brief talk, I told him "I understand and respect that, I'll get my hours up" Which I have proceeded to do over the past 5 days.



Overall, none of it makes sense. They didn't communicate with me, didn't express clear concern, and in the end broke my heart. I'm devastated, crushed, and every other adjective you can think of to describe a feeling of anguish and betrayal.



With this being said, I guess I am LFT for quals now....... I don't know what I did to deserve this, but here I am. Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this.

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