Sex throughout history has been fraught with psychological baggage, due to its role in procreation - but this provided sex with its initial evolutionary value: “I have more sex, thus higher chance of procreation; therefore I’m more evolutionarily valuable.“



This evolutionary value has impelled cultures to stigmatize and control sex, leading to sexist concepts. Virginity, for example, is a concept that’s been seen as more “valued” because there is no procreative competition.

The value of procreation is a terrible burden on sex, because we’ve evolved a fairly rare trait in the animal kingdom: Intrinsically Enjoyable Sex. It’s a feel-good, enjoyable activity all by itself, for no other reason, no procreation required.

Question: How can we change the perceived value of sex - from evolutionary to intrinsic?

Answer: We complete the decoupling of sex from procreation.

We should treat Sex as a Hobby.

A hobby is defined as an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure. Does that not describe a healthy non-procreative sex life? Sex should be treated as a leisure time activity that many people engage in, but not everyone, and that’s okay. People enjoy different hobbies; people take up different hobbies at different points in their lives. That’s how sex should be treated, an activity that mutually-consenting people enjoy.

If sex is a hobby, it is by definition something not everyone does. Sure many people do, but it is no longer a requirement, an expectation. “Hobby” changes the meaning of the word “virgin.” “Hobby” means the activity is not something you have to do.

A person can be a “golfing virgin” but there is no implied sense that they should be golfing. They may have looked at the sport and decided it was not for them, or maybe they will take it up later in life. The question to determine shared interest is usually asked as “Do you golf?”

“Do you enjoy sex?” can take on a similar meaning.

If sex is Hobby, it is can rightly be considered something that is “skill-based.” Ability with a “hobby” can be explored, improved upon, improved with practice. “Sex as Hobby” would eliminate the stigma against finding new ways to feel sexual enjoyment.

As sex becomes known as a learned skill, it would become obvious that aspiring hobbyists should look up the basics for themselves first, to understand what is involved in order to get the most of each experience. One rarely takes up any hobby without doing some research first, so why not this one?

If sex is a hobby, it can free up the gender and sexuality spectrums. Unbound by procreative expectations, people can be who they feel to be born to be. Some may choose to remain relatively genderless, while others may hypersexualize themselves, to advertise: yes, I really enjoy this massively popular hobby.

If sex is hobby, it doesn’t mean the end of monogamy or marriages. It remains an intimate hobby, with its enjoyment increased by sharing it with a trusted partner.

Sex as Hobby would improve the nature of dating, because there is no expectation that someone will share a hobby simply because they had a few dates. I.e. “We’ve been on three dates, you should have already let me take you tandem bungee jumping.”

It sounds silly that way as it should, both for expectations of sharing because of a series of events, and for expectations of sharing a hobby that should require a little trust, education and safety equipment.

If sex is hobby, it simply means that it becomes something we do, not something we need to be defined by. It is not a requirement, or an uncontrollable urge, or a precious gift, or a prize. It is a pleasure, best enjoyed with someone special for the best memories, someone you trust for a good experience.

Transitioning sex into a hobby is only possible if technology improves our capabilities.

Transgender transitioning became possible via technology; birth control continues to improve; and the prospect of artificial wombs may change the nature of procreation drastically.

One can already argue that human babies should be gestated for at least 15 months, if not more - to put them on par with other animals that are strong enough to walk on their own shortly after birth - but our current procreation system can’t deliver that.

If the gender spectrum widens, genetic combination procreation and full reproductive control may become the norm. Although we will not be free from jealousy anytime soon, I do think removing the risk of unwanted procreation will help relieve it. Controlling your own reproduction provides tremendous freedom; knowing that you choose when to release gametes and that your partner can do the same, minimizes the ancient evolutionary concern of dividing potential family dynamics.

Humans have evolved a wonderful pleasurable activity that may have stemmed from procreation, but it need not stay that way. Sex can be just a hobby.