Breaking human-caused climate change news:

Carbon dioxide levels in Earth's atmosphere rose to levels the planet hasn't seen in 800,000 years in 2018, underscoring the impact of increasing environmental damage due to human activity, according to a new federal report. https://t.co/N21sLYmC9H — ABC News (@ABC) August 14, 2019

Wow. The highest in 800,000 years!

Just like 800,000 years ago. You know, the last time humans caused this. — Ken (@Bandaidken) August 14, 2019

What humans raised levels this high 800k years ago? Curious — Myrrdgh (@Myrrdgh) August 14, 2019

So did humans cause the rise in carbon dioxide 800,000 years ago? I’ll wait for the answer. — RightRock (@Holden2283) August 14, 2019

So how many humans were burning fossil fuels 800,000 years ago again? — ?Laura? (@laura_Co_9) August 14, 2019

So, let me get this straight. We've been here before, as far as CO2 levels are concerned, but THIS time it's my Honda's fault? — John (@xX144Xx) August 14, 2019

That was why they paused the manufacturing of the Cadillac El Dorado in 798,000 BC… — El Jefe (@ElJefeTulum) August 14, 2019

I used to drive an 800,000 BC Buick Regal https://t.co/PETxqayiwb — "Fredo" is racist toward Italians who are dumb (@jtLOL) August 14, 2019

So, if it is “irreversible” now, why wasn’t it “irreversible” then?

Why didn’t the runaway greenhouse ensue? — Danny Peoples (@Danny99634068) August 14, 2019

But we've only got 12 years left. Not as lucky as those damn polluters from 800k years ago, I guess. — Zotzer (@zotzer) August 14, 2019

hahaha ppl are so stupid "800,000 yrs? WhAt CaUsEd It BeFoR ThEn?!?!?!" Dino farts, you dumbasses https://t.co/Po94WpfNU3 — Bob Malak (@bob_malak) August 14, 2019

So what you're saying is, the earth on its own reached this level of CO2 before and made it out just fine. — ayemossum (@ayemossum) August 14, 2019

OR… Here me out now- It underscores the cyclical nature of our climate. But you know people bad n stuff. — Big Blue the Messanger of Liberty (@bigblueape) August 14, 2019

American people, anyway.