“We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Sahara. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively outnumbers the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here.”

— Richard Dawkins

It might be odd to start a column about spirituality at the end of life with a quote from Richard Dawkins, a noted atheist. But, I believe there are plenty of spiritualities that do not involve organized religion or even a divine being. Maybe he is not as far off the mark as some more traditionalists think.

I’ve been thinking a lot about metaphysics lately, because there have been several recent articles in the press that discuss the clinical efficacy of prayer in medical settings. Curiously enough, most researchers in this area of study will admit that it is very difficult to measure such things- but anecdotal evidence abounds.

For example, in one study cited by a doctor in a recent Boston Globe article, strangers were instructed to pray for patients undergoing heart surgery. The prayers did not seem to improve the patients’ outcomes. In fact, the study goes on to say that if the patients were told they were being prayed for- they had more postoperative complications. But for every study that finds a dubious connection between prayer and its effectiveness, there is another that suggests just the opposite. That prayer can be powerful and transformative.

So I got to thinking- maybe it’s not so much if people pray, but rather what people pray. Maybe, just maybe, it is what we pray for- if we pray at all- that might be the determining factor in whether or not our prayers are answered or perceived to be so.

What I know for certain is that much of what passes for spirituality, particularly at the end of life, is fear based—dealing with divine retribution. It never ceases to amaze me that people continue to pray to a God that is abusive. Isn’t that like paying someone to beat you?