This article was co-authored by Eric A. Samuels, PsyD. Eric A. Samuels, Psy.D. is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in private practice in San Francisco and Oakland, California. He received a Psy.D. in Clinical Psychology from The Wright Institute in 2016 and is a member of the American Psychological Association and Gaylesta, the Psychotherapist Association for Gender and Sexual Diversity. Eric specializes in working with men, young adults, and people with diverse sexual orientations and gender identities. This article has been viewed 20,237 times.

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To comfort someone, start by asking what’s bothering them or, if you already know what the problem is, ask them “How do you feel?” If the person doesn’t want to talk, let them know that you’re there if they need you. For example, you might say “Even if you don’t want to talk right now, I’ll be here when you do.” However, if they want to talk, let them speak without interrupting them since people will often feel a little better once they’ve gotten things off their chest. When they’re done talking, validate their pain by saying “That’s really upsetting, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.” Or, “It’s okay to cry, and I’m here to listen.” After talking, you can do something nice for the person to show you care, like running an errand for them, bringing them food, or offering to help with their children or pets. To learn how to help connect someone with a counselor, keep reading!