“Todays announcement comes at the dawn of an exciting new era of appropriation,” said USL CEO Alec Papadakis. “The USL spent the past eight years transforming our league to fit into the international landscape and what better way to do that then to create a TOTALLY ORIGINAL idea like the Champions League.”

Papadakis stated that teams from the Championship to League Two will play against each other in a home and away format before transitioning into a single elimination format.

“This is a completely revolutionary format for world football, er…. soccer,” stated Papadakis. “We are making our way the only way we know how. And you know what… At times? That’s just a little bit more than the law will allow. You know, I'm a good ol' boy You know my momma loves me. But much like our supporters, she don't understand they keep a showin' my hands, and not my face on TV .”

League insiders state that the USL will also be launching a intra-league competition called the USL Carabao Cup, as well as the Football Association US Open Cup, but for USL teams only.

“Our plan is to really find all the nuances that make the world’s game great and incorporate them into our league,” stated Papadakis.”We will have a transfer window reporter that does nothing but retweet spurious rumors about teams as well as another reporter who just responds to those tweets by saying they are completely unfounded. It’s going to be great.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the USL unveils an association with Pukka Pie and the England Band as official pie and songwriters of the league.