The current youth generations; Millennials (Gen Y) and the subsequent Generation X are existing in a profoundly unique world. Social media has created an alternate digital reality which is sucking the vitality and joy from the real world. Gen Y and Xer’s have grown up with this technology; smartphones, Instagram, Facebook, SnapChat, Twitter – and hence it has become normalized and ingrained.





Everyday billions of people sacrifice time out of their lives to document their lives via selfies and photos which are meant to be shared on social media. People post pictures of what they’re eating, drinking, where they’re traveling, who they’re with, selfies of all sorts, pictures of pets, cars, tattoos, sunsets, partying and the list goes on ad infinitum. However, this daily documentation of life is often not a true depiction of their real lives. Hence we arrive at one of the major problems social media has created. The combination of highly exaggerated, filtered, crafted online profiles along with the amount of time and energy spent viewing & following it has created not only a level of extreme narcissism but also has resulted in our generations having a completely skewed set of expectations and judgments. Expectations and judgments that can’t ever be satisfied or lived up to because those increasingly unconscious ways of thinking have been bred by carefully crafted online profiles built to convey a false image of perfection, beauty, wealth, happiness and success. We can’t help but get sucked into those images of perfection thus comparing ourselves to them, desiring them, envying them and ultimately judging ourselves for not being like them. Bring forth the self-doubt, self-loathing, depression, jealously. Let those feelings stew around for a while and they’ll be channeled into actions to cope – drug addiction, alcoholism, sex addiction, eating disorders, self-harm, suicide, isolation, gambling, compulsivity, excessive porn, the list goes on. If you’ve been on Instagram lately you know exactly what I’m talking about.





Narcissism - is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's idealized self image and attributes. The term originated from Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. Instagram is the modern day pool of water amplified by thousands of spectators.





Who are the Narcissists of Instagram?

It’s the college girl and/or young professional who is gifted with an attractive body and a cute face. She constantly posts what seems to be flawless pictures of herself. She is always wearing makeup and dressed well, as if everyday is a photoshoot. She is always posting pictures where she is out & about, living a seemingly full life. She’ll be at a party in a seductive dress, at a hip hotel in NYC, at an expensive restaurant where she takes a picture of her perfect looking meal, at a bar sipping on an expertly crafted martini, on a picturesque beach revealing her features in a swimsuit, in the gym showing off her fit body while dressed in name brand matching athletic wear. She’ll post a picture where she is cuddling her cute dog, posing with some clean-shaven frat boy stud or yuppie, a selfie while sitting in her European luxury car, a group photo with her besties all of whom are in shape and attractive. Her Instagram would suggest she travels the world every couple months; selfies in Italy, beaches of Greece, at a bar in London, pictures of her eating sushi in Tokyo and of course the yearly spring break in Miami or Cancun. You’ll wonder how she gets the money to travel for college spring break; while you’re back at your parents’ house, working shifts at the local Starbucks. She’ll be as tan in the dead of winter as she is in the midst of summer. You’ll wonder what she does for work when she is endlessly posting day at the beach pictures. Sometimes she’ll post a selfie where she’s drinking Starbucks coffee in a pair of Ugg boots and yoga pants with the label “Basic” displayed over the photo as if she is suggesting that she is lowering her standards in that moment by doing something that is too ordinary and boring. On Valentine’s day she’ll post pictures of herself with an attractive, stud-like male and act like she has some great relationship with him when she’s actually never posted a picture with him before. Its simply holiday decorations. Once in a blue moon she’ll post a picture of her workstation, cubicle, office, in the library studying for a final exam, on the train commuting, waiting in the airport (a photo of plane tickets next to cocktails are obligatory), at a sports game in good seats, or simply a selfie where is she is lounging around at home as if she has nothing to do or worry about. Basically, another form of playing with herself, she gets off to all the hundreds or thousands of likes she receives on every picture she posts. Women envy her while men lust over her. Friends and strangers will make comments along the lines of “you’re so perfect”, “omg so hot”, “this is amazing” or some will simply leave a fire or peach emoji. She thinks of witty and playful captions to write for every photo or she’ll simply use pre-existing trends such as “throwback Thursday”, “man crush Monday”, “woman crush Wednesday”, “Sunday funday.” She isn’t famous, she came from a small suburban town, went to a small – medium sized college, she hasn’t accomplished anything extraordinary yet she has thousands of people following her. After absorbing all of that you can’t help but conclude that she lives a better life than you, looks more attractive far more often than you and epitomizes many of your fantasies in life. Feelings follow this conclusion, as I mentioned earlier, jealously, envy, self-criticism. On top of all that she isn’t the only girl you see living this sort of existence of social media. In fact there are thousands more like her, in every town, in every college in every state of the country. You start to wonder what you’ve done wrong? Why hasn’t my life even been half of what theirs has appeared to have been? Why don’t I have that much fun? Or look that good? Why doesn’t my relationship look that romantic? Why isn’t my girlfriend/boyfriend that attractive?





See the Instassists For What They Really Are

Woah there… you better slam on those mental/emotional brakes! Take a step back and realize you’re looking at a social media profile completely crafted, edited and controlled by that person to look the way they want it to look. If they want to make themselves look like they’re living the life of a supermodel they’ll craft their profile to do that. If they want to make themselves appear to be a world traveler, living like Anthony Bourdain, they’ll edit everything to look that way. That same girl who goes out to bars, clubs, parties every weekend isn’t posting pictures of herself drunk at the end of the night or how she looks the next morning. No one is posting their mugshot after they get arrested for doing something stupid. Nor are they posting pictures of what they looked like prior to entering rehab. People aren’t posting pictures of their meal from McDonalds or the local diner. Girls don’t take selfies without putting effort into hair, lighting, makeup and not to mention choosing one photo out of hundreds of takes. The crafted profiles that consume so much time to create & manage are nothing but compensations which allow the owner to feel better about themselves. People who are secure with themselves and truly love themselves would not need to craft such idealistic profiles. Its not representative of real life. Its totally superficial but you say to yourself you know better than to think superficially. Do you now?





The truth is that for over a decade we have been living and growing in a world increasingly saturated by social media and the materialism that it effortlessly pushes. Superficiality has developed inside of us at an unconscious level. When the norms of society include social media and all its effects we are programmed to conform and support those norms. Some people do not possess the mental/emotional brakes to stop themselves from internalizing things seen on social media, instead they cruise into depression, anxiety, addiction, compulsivity, isolation then only after feeling enough pain they realize how their mind has been altered by social media.



Zuckerberg Made the Most Addictive Drug

You might try to take a break from social media, but then you have a strange urge to get back on and look at people. Its as if you feel you might miss out on seeing something whether its from a friend, crush, celebrity, stranger… its as if participation in social media feels obligatory. How can a website/app created by some nerds in Silicon Valley feel that essential to daily living? That’s the genius of Zuckerberg and the rest of the designers, they created something that feeds off a basic human need – the need to be social and thus it has turned their websites & apps into must-have resources. It has transcended from being addictive and is now an assimilated necessity of life. Try to find a person anywhere from age 15 to 35 who doesn’t have a Facebook or Instagram app on their phone. Zuckerberg's favorite line to say during interviews is that, "our goal at Facebook was to connect the world." Yes, Mark, you accomplished that in a digital sense but you were so naive to the effects it could have. (While not related to this article - Russia using the Facebook platform to meddle in our elections must be mentioned).







We are becoming more aware of social media and its effects. Those who read articles like these will think about the issues discussed and might ponder for a while the effects of social media on their lives however within a day they will be back in the normal routine which social media runs in their lives.



I am Not Anti-Social Media

I am not completely condemning social media it does provide many beneficial uses such as keeping in touch with friends/family who live in distant places or even friends who don’t have time to get together in person much. You can see what your old high school friends are up to. Also getting a glimpse into the life of athletes and celebrities is also nice to a certain degree. One could also use social media to meet new people and potentially find people to date – although its not as easy or simple as it sounds. What I am condemning is the hundreds of thousands of fake, superficial people who use Instagram as a vehicle to enhance their egos and channel their narcissism. Social media is like anything else, If not done in moderation or approached with an aware, healthy mind it can have negative consequences. Another problem is that social media and moderation aren’t often associated with one another.



The Doctor's Reccomendation

If you are sensitive and effected by these issues try taking a break from Instagram for at least a week or two, see what happens, pay attention to your mood and outlook as you go through it. You might surprise yourself. If you are one of the people who posts constantly and makes everything seem perfect for you… well I can’t really help you…. maybe some day you’ll wake up and realize there’s more to life than your social media presence. The only thing I can advise is try to live in the moment. If you have a plate of good food in front of you just dig in and eat it don’t waste time taking a picture. If you are out having a good time somewhere with friends just live in the moment and enjoy it. Remember just because you didn’t take a selfie doesn’t mean whatever you were doing or wherever you were didn’t happen.



Instagram's Healthy User

Its easy to distinguish a narcissist from a healthy person on Instagram. Look at one of your friends profiles. You know - the friend who doesn't post on a daily basis but when they do post its has genuine content; they got a new apartment, graduated college, a picture with their new fiance, they lost weight, reunited with friends, they're on their vacation, a picture of them doing something they love, a picture of food ONLY on a special occasion like a birthday or Thanksgiving, selfies where they don't look all done up & manufactured by a pro makeup crew, pictures representing their struggles. Regardless of the pictures' content; they don't have that narcissist element of "look at me, I want attention" or "let me showoff for the sake of showing off." Instead the healthy people view posting it as, "I'm feeling really happy or grateful and I want to share my joy with you" or "I'm going through a struggle - I want to share how I feel with others." Thus the healthy usage of social media.



Please feel free to comment on this article, it is meant to spur thought and discussion on the issue.



