The Stranger's Endorsements for the November 6, 2018, General Election Vote like your life depends on it, because it does.

James Yamasaki

This is the most consequential fucking election—midterm or otherwise—in our fucking lifetimes, and anyone who doesn't show up for it can go to fucking hell.

Yeah, yeah: The threat of eternal hellfire hasn't kept a single dick, joint, or "fuck" out of our mouths. That's why the Stranger Election Control Board (SECB) ordinarily prefers swear words and dick jokes to fire and brimstone but—Jesus Fucking Christ in a pussy hat—THIS IS NO ORDINARY TIME.

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Roe and Obergefell are on the chopping block. Hundreds of kids are still separated from their families. Puerto Rico is still reeling. The Muslim travel ban is still in effect. Donald Fucking Trump is still pushing a transgender ban in the military. Nazis are still marching in the fucking streets. The Russians are still coming after our election infrastructure. And is it just us or are we about to bomb Iran? Is North Korea about to bomb us? We don't know—and neither does the idiot in the Oval Office.

Here's how we make it stop: Democrats take back the US House in November and maybe—purty please, baby Jaysus—the Senate, too. With both houses, we've got control of the legislative agenda. But even if the Dems only take the House, they're gonna have something else, too, something pretty fucking useful: subpoena power. Want to see Trump's tax returns? COMING RIGHT UP, MOTHERFUCKERS. Want to investigate James Comey's firing and the Trump family profiting on their public offices? Done and done! Want to finally get to the bottom of Russia's attacks on our democracy and impeach a rapey Supreme Court justice or two? Yes, we can!

In other words: Want to grind the Trump administration to a fucking halt? Donate, volunteer, and vote!

There are three highly competitive US House races here in Washington State—we could flip the motherfucking House, people—and Democrats are poised to make gains in the Washington State Legislature, too. Dems are on track to pick up five seats in the state senate and 14 seats in the state house, locking in wide majorities in both chambers. Then maybe state Dems could actually-maybe-really repeal the death penalty, pass a fucking capital gains tax, dedicate more money to education, institute a state-based single payer health-care system, and let us open some pot cafes.

We've also got a handful of initiatives on the ballot addressing gun safety, bad cops, soda taxes, and climate change, some juicy judicial races, and some super sexy funding levies. So crack open a fresh Juul pod, pop a pot lozenge, knock back a shot, and vote like we tell you to vote. Vote like your life depends on it. Vote like it's the last chance you'll ever have to vote—because it just might be.

Don't want to read our endorsements? Skip 'em. Just consult our cheat sheet and vote for the candidates we endorsed. If you want to know why you'll be voting for the people we've endorsed—and you will be voting for the people we've endorsed—go ahead and keep reading.

The SECB is Lester Black, Christopher Frizzelle, Nathalie Graham, Katie Herzog, Tim Keck, Charles Mudede, Eli Sanders, Dan Savage, Rich Smith, and a source familiar with RuPaul's thinking. The SECB does not endorse in uncontested races or in races we forgot. SECB endorsements are legally binding. Terms and conditions apply. Individual results may vary.

United States Senator

Honestly? We're kinda mad at Maria Cantwell for not coming out against Brett Kavanaugh until halfway into his first hearing. At the same time, we feel kinda bad that Cantwell has to pretend to run against Susan Hutchison, the former chair of the Washington State Republican Party. Hutchison only got into this race to prevent a gun nut named Joey Gibson from topping the GOP ticket.

Cantwell, who is running for her fourth term, is good on net neutrality, immigration, and the opioid crisis. After losing by 30 points in the primary, Hutchison has tried everything to make some headlines. She blamed the summer wildfires on Cantwell, despite the fact that this year Cantwell secured $2 billion for "Forest Service efforts to combat the blazes" and $1 million for studying cancers in firefighters.

Hutchison also knocked Cantwell for failing to agree to a debate because it interfered with her Senate schedule—without a doubt, Hutchison would've slammed Cantwell for missing a vote because she was back home campaigning, i.e., debating Hutchison. We can't decide if Hutchison is pettier than she is dumb or dumber than she is petty. But this we know for sure: Hutchison is going to lose because you're going to vote Cantwell.

United States Representative Congressional District No. 1

Incumbent representative Suzan DelBene isn't the splashiest of lawmakers, but immediately after Trump's election, she introduced a bill that would have banned the creation of any kind of registry based on religion, something Trump pitched while hate-campaigning in 2016. While DelBene's bill was largely symbolic (and, naturally, died in committee), the SECB appreciates each and every symbolic "fuck you" sent Donald Trump's way.

DelBene is all about job creation and sane budgets, and she's become the Democratic delegation's authority on agricultural issues. She's socially liberal and has been endorsed by Senator Patty Murray, a bunch of unions, anti-gun-violence groups, the National Organization for Women, and the Sierra Club.

If she's good enough for them, she's good enough for us—at least this year, when she's running against Jeffrey Beeler, who says he wants to "stem the tide of illegal immigration." (Hey, Jeffrey? The undocumented population in the US has been falling since 2010, so that "tide" has already been stemmed. So you can take the racist dog whistle out of your mouth and shove it up your ass.) Vote DelBene.

United States Representative Congressional District No. 7

Pramila Jayapal has been a fucking star since she took office two years ago—even Dan Savage, who went rogue on the SECB and endorsed Jayapal's opponent in 2016, is a fan these days. Jayapal ran to the airport the morning Trump ordered the Muslim travel ban. When she found out 206 undocumented immigrant women were being held up in Sea-Tac—many of whom were separated from their children—she spoke with all of them and told the world their story.

She established the Medicare for All Caucus to educate other House members on the issue. She also started a Medicare for All PAC to support candidates who actually run on the bill and who don't just say bullshit like "I looove the idea, but blah blah incremental steps blah." Locally, Jayapal secured more funds for a program that lets low-level offenders get services instead of jail time, and she fought noise pollution south of town.

Oh yeah, and she also sits on the Judiciary Committee, which—if the Democrats win back the House—will have a massive role in investigating Trump for *gestures at everything.* Her opponent, Craig Keller, is an anti-immigrant doofus who vows to "never betray our seniors by voting amnesty for 10-20 million illegals." (A lot of those so-called "illegals" work in nursing homes, Craig, serving meals to and wiping the asses of the seniors you only care about when the cameras are on.) Vote Jayapal.

United States Representative Congressional District No. 9

Sarah Smith only nailed down a majority on the SECB after her supporters assured her detractors that there was no way—even with our precious endorsement—that she could possibly win. In order to defeat Adam Smith, Sarah Smith would have to earn 100 percent of the votes that went for the Republican in the primary and, yeah, that's not going to happen.

Mr. Smith is going back to Washington. And that's fine. He's a progressive who holds a powerful position on the House Armed Services Committee, and his exasperated/don't-bullshit-me attitude most closely reflects the SECB's disposition. But he also overstated his NRA rating—he has a C-, not an F like he said in a recent candidate forum—and keeps going back and forth about whether he likes his vote against banning the sale of cluster bombs to Saudi Arabia.

But Sarah Smith hasn't worn well over the course of the campaign. Sarah Smith voted the wrong way on a recent education levy in Kent, and she took way too long in responding to the SECB's inquiries on that vote. She also posted false statements on Twitter about the SECB's attempt to contact her, and her campaign photographer threatened to sue us for $30K for using a campaign photo that the Smith campaign gave us to use.

If she governs the way she campaigns, then the people of the 9th are in trouble—if she wins, which she won't. But we're urging you to vote for Sarah Smith anyway, because we're hoping a less-than-robust showing for Adam Smith will encourage a better challenger to get in the race in 2020. Vote (Sarah) Smith.

EXTRA SPECIAL BLUE WAVE ENDORSEMENTS

The SECB doesn't normally weigh in on congressional races outside our distribution area—but this year, Washington has three surprisingly competitive House races in the southwest, central, and eastern parts of the state. If the Democrats flip these seats from red to blue, then 9 of the 10 members of Washington's congressional delegation will be Democrats—and Washington can claim a big share of the credit for flipping the whole fucking House. If you live in these districts, vote the way we tell you to. If you know anyone who lives in these districts, call them up and tell them to vote the way we're telling you to tell them to vote. Got it? Good!

United States Representative Congressional District No. 3

Carolyn Long is running to bring "civility" back to politics—and, yeah, that noise you heard was us choking on our own bile. But Long passed the SECB's bullshit test (over the phone, no less), and she makes sense in a district gerrymandered to favor Republican candidates/shitlords.

In the primary, Long locked up most of the Democratic vote and came within 7 points of tying incumbent Jaime Herrera Beutler—but, all together, Democratic candidates beat Herrera Beutler, and Long has been gaining momentum ever since. She's drawing hundreds to forums in Trump country and raising a lot of money. Still, the race is flying under the radar, which means your donated dollar or volunteer time goes further here.

Though Herrera Beutler has tried to peg Long as a carpetbagger from Oregon, Long taught political science at Washington State University-Vancouver for 23 years and she's won awards for her service to the community she hopes to rep. She even teaches a class on how to talk with people who espouse different political views. Speaking of espousing, Long's husband voted for Trump. Now he says he's voting for her. If anyone is going to convince the goddamn oyster farmers of Pacific County to send a Democrat to Congress, it's Long. Vote Long.

United States Representative Congressional District No. 5

Voting Lisa Brown into office would mean voting Representative Cathy McMorris Rodgers out of office, which would mean bringing down the fourth most powerful Republican in the House—the SECB has been leaking sex sauce into our collective jeans for weeks at the thought of that upset. (We're coming to avenge you, Tom Foley!)

As the chair of the House Republican Conference, McMorris Rodgers's entire job for the last two years has been to sugarcoat Republican poison pills and feed them to the country one tweet at a time. Sound familiar? McMorris Rodgers has voted with the president an astounding 97.8 percent of the time. She lives to repeal Obamacare and to massively overstate the benefits of Trump's tax cuts.

It just so happens that Brown is as good as McMorris Rodgers is bad. As a former majority leader of the state senate, Brown championed mental health care projects and public education. During her tenure as chancellor of Washington State University, she helped the university start a medical school.

Even after a barrage of bullshit attack ads that were so nasty that local doctors wrote a letter demanding McMorris Rodgers cease distribution, Brown trailed the incumbent by only four points in the primary. Only four points! In a district Trump won by 13 points! Brown is hoping to make up the difference by increasing turnout among college students who recently moved to the Palouse. So fill the fridge with beer, roll a couple spliffs, and throw a big ass ballot markin' party for all your friends. Just make sure you fill in that "Lisa Brown" bubble BEFORE you celebrate with all of our fine legal pot.

United States Representative Congressional District No. 8

This race is too important and too tight for us to weigh in with our bratty potty talk. And while we're still a bit miffed about all those wealthy, wide-eyed Kim stans in Issaquah ignoring our clear and direct orders to vote for Jason Ritterhoofer or Riffenstoffer or Roosterbooster or whatever the fuck his name was in the primary, we are happy to back Schrier now. She may have been our second choice, but she was a damn close second.

As a pediatrician in Issaquah, she has literally been healing the children of her district for the last 17 years. As a doctor—and as a person with a preexisting condition (she's got the 'beetus!)—she's had a front-row seat to the worst show on earth: the vaudevillian clusterfuck that is our health-care system. She knows how bad it is from the inside, and she's committed to fixing it.

Since this district was created in 1980, the people of Central Washington have sent a PR guy, an engineer, and a sheriff to Congress. And they don't have much to show for it. If they send Schrier—who could be the only woman doctor in Congress—they might get a public option and lower prescription drug prices in a few years. Dino Fucking Rossi—the anti-gay, anti-choice, anti-immigrant, Trump-humping commercial landlord and three-time loser the Republicans are running for a fourth fucking time—will vote to take their health care away.

Rossi has lost to a Democrat every time he's run for statewide office, but he beat all those Democrats within the boundaries of this district. So we can't take this seat for granted—we're gonna have to work to hand Rossi a glorious and utterly fucking humiliating fourth loss. Vote Schrier!

Legislative District No. 30 State Senator

Mark Miloscia voted for an anti-trans "bathroom bill," he supports gay conversion therapy, and he wants to ban Seattle from sanctioning homeless encampments and allowing safe injection sites. And guess what? He used to be a Democrat! Miloscia switched parties in 2014, just as the GOP was starting to be more brazen about its bigotry.

And Claire Wilson? She's the progressive legislator of your dreams. She's the current president of the Federal Way School District and has ample civic experience. She's also a lesbian who doesn't think gay people need to be cured, and she has pledged to not accept corporate campaign donations. Miloscia won less than 48 percent of the combined primary vote—let's make sure he loses again in the general election and he learns why he shouldn't side with the party that steals babies from their refugee parents. Vote Wilson.

Legislative District No. 30 Representative Position No. 1

Mike Pellicciotti isn't the SECB's ideal progressive. He told us he opposes a statewide income tax because our hugely regressive tax system gives a "strategic advantage to the state." (That's bullshit, Mike.) But he does support a "revenue neutral" capital gains tax, a statewide public option, and—unlike nearly every other fuck in Olympia—he actually voted against the law that would have shielded the legislature from disclosing their public records.

During our interview, he told us "Ben Gibbard from Death Cab said I was his brother from another mother." He then e-mailed us a photo showing the two of them standing together. It turns out they do, in fact, look very similar—including emo-swoop man bangs. Vote Man Bangs! Vote Pellicciotti!

Legislative District No. 30 Representative Position No. 2

Kristine M. Reeves is a badass woman of color who somehow manages to find the time to represent her district, raise a family, and still hold down a day job as an economist for the state. And get this: She takes the bus to work. She might not be on the right side of all of our issues—she doesn't support an income tax and she waffled on capital gains—but she wants to increase greater access to transit and health care. Oh, and Barack Obama endorsed her in 2016. Her opponent, Mark Greene, is a derpfuck who believes in conspiracy theories. Vote Reeves.

Legislative District No. 32 State Senator

Since Senator Maralyn Chase last sat before the SECB and called us "rude," she's doubled down on her support for the bad public-records bill. In a blog post for Shoreline Area News, she applauds the new Legislative Task Force on Public Records—because what kind of ineffectual leader doesn't love a task force?—and says that demanding transparency from the legislature is only "worth considering." Also worth considering: TOSSING CHASE OUT ON HER ASS.

Jesse Salomon, Chase's opponent, didn't exactly blow our minds (or anything else) in our endorsement meeting, but he's a public defender and a Shoreline City Council member who says he "personally" supports a statewide income tax, a single-payer bill, and pot cafes. Maybe he'll loosen up if we drop some weed butter in his coffee. Vote Salomon.

Legislative District No. 32 Representative Position No. 1

Cindy Ryu is fine. She's a Democrat who supports police reform and increasing funding for affordable housing. Way to go, Cindy. Yeah, she majorly fucked up when she supported that bullshit anti-transparency bill in the legislature.

But our alternative is Diodato (Dio) Boucsieguez, who was the resident Trumpster in one member of the SECB's University of Washington journalism classes. He just about nut all over himself when he was able to cover a Trump rally in Lynden, Washington, for a final assignment. Boucsieguez also opposes life-saving safe consumption sites and he invited everyone to a Facebook event for his birthday just so people would remember to wish him happy birthday. Ryu, on the other hand, sat next to the SECB at a cannabis dinner. Vote Ryu.

Legislative District No. 32 Representative Position No. 2

Lauren Davis is a go-getter and a fierce advocate for mental-health and substance-abuse treatment. She single-handedly pushed for Ricky's Law, named after her best friend, which allows involuntary commitment for people facing life-threatening substance-abuse disorders. The SECB is confident she will carry this gumption and passion into the legislature.

We are a tiny bit concerned—JUST A TINY BIT—about Davis's backward opinions on weed. Davis basically channeled the future ghost of Jeff Sessions in our primary election editorial board meeting, where she described weed as a "gateway drug" and worried that we're normalizing weed for kids. There's a bunch of evidence that proves a majority of pot users don't go on to use "harder" drugs, and weed use by kids hasn't risen and has actually fallen in states that have legalized pot.

We'd be tempted to back her competition, Frank Deisler, if he weren't a Republican who wanted to eliminate safe injection sites and sanctuary city policies. So we want you to vote Davis, and we want Davis to educate herself about weed.

Legislative District No. 33 State Senator

Senator Karen Keiser resisted the anti-trans bathroom bill, and she led the fight for expanding parental leave and expanding workplace protections for women. Sure, she fucked up, like most of the legislative Democrats, on that anti-transparency bill. But we'd rather have Keiser than Kun Wang, the dipshit who marked "Independent Republican" as his party affiliation.

Wang wants to "get tough on the homelessness crisis" and see businesses as "job creators that must be nurtured." Though we'd love to see what the fuck that would look like—we bet it involves a lot of free-market solutions or maybe wet nurses—we're more interested in someone who (1) can actually effect positive change, and (2) isn't an idiot. Vote Keiser.

Legislative District No. 33 Representative Position No. 2

You like that new YMCA, people of Kent? You can thank Mia Su-Ling Gregerson, a transportation advocate who's good on education, childcare, and securing funds for a place to get yourself clean, have a good meal, and do whatever you feel.

The alternative is Anthony Lamb, who loves the Lamb of God. If he's elected, he's going to propose legislation to make Good Friday a new holiday for our state. The SECB loves holidays as much as the next pot-addled/-enhanced election control board, but we're going to have to pass on that one. Vote Gregerson.

Legislative District No. 34 State Senator

The voters of West Seattle, Vashon Island, White Center, and Burien have the chance to send a young, inspired, and passionate senator to Olympia this year. Joe Nguyen grew up the son of an immigrant single mother in Burien and went on to become a senior manager at Microsoft. He has worked as a community organizer and activist on police reform issues and representation for the South King County Vietnamese community. He's so fucking passionate about advancing progressive causes that he says "fuck" a lot, and we don't think he was pandering to the fuck-happy SECB.

The fucks Nguyen gives are genuine. In his declaration of support for a capital gains tax, Nguyen told the SECB: "People are fucking dying right now in the streets. Capital gains touches rich people, and a very small percentage of them in the first place." Hell yeah!

His opponent, Shannon Braddock, a single mother of three who spent six years working for the King County Council, is on the right side of some issues. But she waffled when the SECB asked her about the recent Amazon head tax, and she was endorsed by the Metropolitan Chamber of Commerce (fuuuuuuuck them) when she ran unsuccessfully for city council in 2015. She also raised more than $114,000 in funds with $38,000 from corporate businesses and more than $51,000 from PACs. Essentially, all of Nguyen's $52,000 in funds have come from individual donors. Now isn't the time for middle-of-the-road, corporate Democrats. Nguyen doesn't give a fuck about corporate interests. Vote Nguyen.

Legislative District No. 36 State Senator

Reuven M. Carlyle has moved legislation to tax the rich, he sponsored a bill for a carbon tax, and he's the lead sponsor on a bill to end the death penalty. He was also one of the few Democrats who didn't vote on the bad public-disclosure law! He told the SECB it "was bad policy and bad process." Unfortunately, he thinks legalizing home grows needs more study (it doesn't), but he at least said people growing a pot plant in their backyard shouldn't go to jail.

His opponent is a young libertarian named Bryan Simonson who appears to be frustrated with the phenomenon of football players protesting police brutality and is deluded enough to think he can do something about that in Olympia. If he's so sensitive that he can't watch a silent protest on television, there's no way he's got the spine to serve in the legislature.

So those of you who can still afford to live in the bougie trifecta of Magnolia, Ballard, and Queen Anne should vote Carlyle.

Legislative District No. 36 Representative Position No. 1

Noel Christina Frame's campaign materials feature a literal picture of a frame surrounding her name. Visual puns might be disqualifying for some election control boards. Not us. We also applaud energetic lawmakers who want to tax the everlivingfuck out of the rich. Frame fits that mold. Vote Frame.

Legislative District No. 36 Representative Position No. 2

Gael Tarleton has a fuckin' dope résumé. Right out of college, she worked as a senior defense intelligence analyst for the Pentagon, which struck the SECB as a hard job for a woman to score in the 1980s. In the legislature, she expanded health-care benefits, fought for transit, and worked to protect the environment. Her opponent is a libertarian who says he's a libertarian because he rejects "us versus them" politics. Ha-ha. No. Vote Tarleton.

Legislative District No. 37 State Senator

Rebecca Saldaña was raised in a "union-immigrant household" in Delridge, and she worked as a labor organizer before being appointed to Pramila Jayapal's senate seat in 2016. She supports taxing the rich, Medicare for All, and legalizing cannabis home grows—and she assured the SECB that she regretted voting for this year's public disclosure bill. Vote Saldaña.

Legislative District No. 37 Representative Position No. 2

Eric Pettigrew is a trash legislator who told the SECB in 2014, when he was in his 12th year in office, "I don't know if I have passed any bills this term." It's not clear he has done anything since then, now that he is in his 16th year. He has voted against raising the minimum wage, tried to loosen regulations for predatory payday lenders, voted to shield the state legislature from disclosing public records, and promoted charter schools.

But his opponent, Tamra Smilanich—who unsuccessfully ran against him in 2010, 2012, and 2014—is a Tea Partyer with no discernible platform. Vote Pettigrew, and ask your progressive friends in South Seattle to run against him in 2020.

Legislative District No. 41 Representative Position No. 1

Representative Tana Senn has championed legislation on gender pay equity, clearing the rape-kit backlog, and gun safety. Tim Cruickshank, her Republican opponent, does not support a statewide income tax. He also loves cars. He wants "to vigorously pursue" more lanes for cars. Cruickshank needs to google "induced demand" (and go fuck himself) and you need to vote Senn.

Legislative District No. 41 Representative Position No. 2

My-Linh Thai boasts so many accomplishments, she makes us feel like failures. While we've spent our lives yelling at politicians in a cramped conference room, Thai has been busy founding Vietnam's first nursing graduate program and serving as president of the Bellevue School Board. Thai wasn't up on some of the issues most important to the SECB members who are eating canned beans in hopes their rent checks will clear—issues like lifting the state ban on rent control and protecting renters statewide from no-cause evictions. But she'll add some needed education wonkery to our state legislature. We have a substantial list of "firsts" this year, and Thai is no exception. If elected, which seems likely, she says she'll be the first refugee to serve in Olympia. Vote Thai.

Legislative District No. 43 State Senator

Senator Jamie Pedersen has been in office for 12 years. He's shot down three Tim Eyman tax initiatives, and that's enough for the SECB because, seriously, fuck Tim Eyman. His work for LGBTQ civil rights and gun responsibility has been good, too. He also has a lovely smile. He could be in gum ads. He's not. He's in politics, and the SECB would like to keep it that way. Vote Pedersen.

Legislative District No. 43 Representative Position No. 1

Nicole Macri has been in Olympia for only one term, but she's already getting big stuff done. She was the prime sponsor of a bill that included the biggest increase in funding for homeless and housing assistance in a decade. She helped pass the conversion therapy ban and personally worked to bring Washington Republicans onboard so that Republicans in other states could feel more comfortable breaking with their party's bigoted stance. She supports a capital gains tax, and she's going to be a major player in getting state-based single payer to the floor.

We have one quibble. Can you guess what it is? Can you? CAN YOU?!? She voted for that bad public records bill—but she was so quick to send out a mea culpa. As a member of the sexual harassment task force, Macri is also working to clean up the old boy's club mentality (cough, Matt Manweller, cough, Joe Fain, cough) that clearly pervades the Capitol. Vote Macri.

Legislative District No. 43 Representative Position No. 2

In theory, the SECB should be proud to support Frank Chopp. But instead of being a progressive voice for all of us queer, anarcho-communist uhhh tech bros on Capitol Hill, Chopp legislates like he's a shit accountant in Bellevue. During his two decades in the state capital, he's watched our state's tax system become the most regressive in the country, failed to pass a carbon tax, failed to repeal the death penalty, and approved billions of dollars in tax breaks for big corporations.

Chopp bears some of the responsibility for the embarrassing failures of the Democratic Party in Olympia, but his opponent is a Republican who refers to taxes as "job killing." So vote Chopp, then call, e-mail, and lobby Chopp to start being the progressive representative that Capitol Hill deserves.

Legislative District No. 45 State Senator

Manka Dhingra was elected during a special election last year. During her short tenure in Olympia, she supported progressive taxing like a capital gains tax—sadly, she does not support a statewide income tax. Not ideal. Neither was her support for—CAN YOU GUESS?!?—that anti-transparency bill. But she's a supporter of Sound Transit.

She's being challenged by Dale Fonk, a Republican who screams about car tabs like every other Republican. Fonk can fonk the fonk off. Dhingra helped to flip the legislature blue last year. Let's keep it that way. Vote Dhingra.

Legislative District No. 45 Representative Position No. 1

For some reason, Roger Goodman reminds the SECB of Ted Danson. Not the young Ted Danson from the Cheers era, but the silver-haired, slow-talking Ted Danson of Curb Your Enthusiasm. We like that Danson. As the chair of the House Public Safety Committee, Goodman also supports criminal justice reform. We like that, too. He told the SECB he "without hesitation" supported statewide Medicare for All.

He also supports carbon pricing, Sound Transit 3 (even though his Kirkland district doesn't get a lot of direct service), and, get this, he told the SECB he "strongly supports home grows" and cannabis cafes! "We need indoor spaces where cannabis users can go, particularly tourists and visitors. The concern over smoke inhalation is misguided, cannabis smoke does not cause cancer." Ooh-la-la, Ted! Vote Danson. We mean Goodman. Vote Goodman.

Legislative District No. 45 Representative Position No. 2

Larry Springer supported—INCOMING!—that stupid public records bill, but he's since begrudgingly accepted that members of the legislature should be held to the same standard as every other member of public office. He still wants special circumstances (read: exemptions) to be considered. Ugh. However, he's represented the 45th District for more than a decade, and he's fed up with "thoughts and prayers" as the only response to mass shootings. We are, too, Larry! Vote Springer.

Legislative District No. 46 State Senator

David Frockt is the budget chief for the Democrats. He also seems like a very nice man who is open to compromise and agonizingly slow, incremental change. So, not our favorite. But he's done some good things! In the wake of the Parkland shootings, he introduced legislation that makes it easier for schools to prevent and respond to mass shootings. Frockt is a sponsor of the senate's version of the state-based single-payer bill. The SECB (and our collective hospital debt) is hoping to see some movement on that front, especially if the Democrats significantly increase their majority in the senate.

Like a majority of the other dopes in his caucus, he voted to exempt himself from the public records act. Hopefully he's learned his lesson. His Republican opponent, Beth Daranciang, wants to defend "religious liberties" (auto-translate: she supports discriminating against LGBTQ people) and she really haaaaates the Democrats for *checks notes* updating our surrogacy laws. Vote Frockt.

Legislative District No. 46 Representative Position No. 1

Let's start with the bad: Gerry Pollet voted for the bill that would have shielded members of the legislature from disclosing their public records. He was, as you know, not alone in this. But Pollet backed that bill even though he is a board member of the Washington Coalition for Open Government. Come the fuck on, Gerry! But like nearly every other legislator in Olympia, Pollet told the SECB he regretted his vote and he was one of the people calling for the governor to veto the bill.

Otherwise, he is basically voting a straight SECB ticket. He supports taxing the rich (capital gains, income tax, and reducing corporate tax breaks), and he is a climate change leader. He even told the SECB that he learned something from reading The Stranger, which is crazy, considering we haven't learned anything writing for The Stranger. At any rate, Pollet now supports giving adults the right to grow pot at home because of something he read here! His opponent is a dingbat who hates bike lanes and wants to make soda cheaper because FREEDOM or something. Vote Pollet.

Legislative District No. 46 Representative Position No. 2

Javier Valdez, the son of immigrant farm workers, has been a longtime player in Washington politics. Hell, he founded the King County Young Democrats. He also supports women and minority issues! Valdez has made it his mission to repeal I-200, the 1998 initiative that blocked affirmative action in Washington State. Is that repeal going to happen anytime soon? Beats us! But there's an initiative in the works (I-1000) to make that happen. We'll see if Valdez proves himself. He also has a lot more going for him. For one, he's one of the few Latino members of the state legislature. If the SECB knows anything, it's that the legislature is old and it is white and that can change with a vote. Be a catalyst. Vote for Valdez.

Legislative District No. 47 State Senator

In late September, Candace Faber, a civic technology advocate for the City of Seattle, accused two-term Republican Joe Fain of raping her the night she graduated from Georgetown in 2007. Fain denies the allegations and has called for an investigation. Even if he hadn't been credibly accused of rape (!), Fain would still be a "moderate" Republican who helped block the Reproductive Parity Act from coming to a vote.

Meanwhile, Mona Das, a former congressional candidate with a mortgage business, says she'll support a capital gains tax, fight for climate change mitigation, work on expanding funding for early education and vocational programs, and secure more affordable housing in the burbs. In response to allegations against Fain, she said she "believes survivors of sexual assault" and added that "it's obvious we need more women in positions of power."

Despite having way less money, Das has a real chance at winning this swing seat—in part because she hasn't been credibly accused of rape (!!). She only trailed Fain by approximately 8 points in the primary. Fain won his last race by 27 points. Vote Das, the only candidate in this race who hasn't been credibly accused of rape (!!!).

Legislative District No. 47 Representative Position No. 1

Vote! Debra! Entenman! Vote for Entenman because she knows firsthand the difficulties of being poor in King County. She grew up in low-income housing, raised a family, and then went back to school later in life. After that, she landed a job in Congressman Adam Smith's office, where she's worked for 12 years.

This pro-choice, pro-union, education advocate has a strong chance of unseating Mark Fucking Hargrove, aka the "Dumbest Legislator in the State" according to your own SECB in 2012. Hargrove supported a bill that would ban abortions even in cases of rape or incest, he wouldn't condemn the racist shooting of a Sikh man in his district because that would be "too political," and he tried to pass a transphobic bathroom bill. Entenman came within less than 1 percentage point of beating this asshole in the primary. Vote Entenman!

Legislative District No. 47 Representative Position No. 2

Pat Sullivan is a gun-toting asshole with an "A" (for asshole) rating from the NRA. He voted against effective gun-control measures in 2015, and he voted for a bill that would shield himself from disclosing certain public records. (Yes, that bill.)

But his opponent, Republican Ted Cooke, is a piece of shit who opposes an income tax, wants public funds to go to private (i.e., Christian) schools, and wants to enact a racist rule that would establish English as a "common language" in the state. Hold your nose and vote Sullivan.

Legislative District No. 48 State Senator

The important thing to know about Patty Kuderer is that she is not Rodney Fucking Tom, a traitorous asshole who was once elected to the state senate as a Democrat, only to turn around and caucus with the GOP in 2013. With Tom's help, the state GOP fought against fixing our embarrassing tax system and blocked efforts to provide financial aid to undocumented college students and require insurance to cover birth control and abortion. It wasn't a good look in 2013, and it's even less of a good look now.

Kuderer took out Tom in 2014, and she's running this year on fixing public schools as well as reforming our embarrassing tax system, reducing gun violence, fighting climate change, and a bevy of other liberal causes. Her only serious fuckup this year was voting to shield herself and her buddies from public record requests, which would have made the SECB's job that much harder. BAD MOVE, PATTY. However, the SECB is both pragmatic and forgiving (Governor Jay Inslee vetoed the bill), so we're willing to forgive Kuderer this one time. Vote Kuderer!

Legislative District No. 48 Representative Position No. 2

This was a tough one. Amy Walen, the mayor of Kirkland, and Cindi Bright, the host of a local radio show called HeartBeat, basically align on every issue. However, Bright stood out for her enthusiastic support of legalizing homegrown weed. And if elected, Bright would be one of the few women of color in Olympia.

To be fair, Bright seemed less familiar with some of the issues. In fact, the SECB is not sure whether she knew what ST3 was. So we're not certain she can represent Bellevue's interests very effectively—but after popping a pot lozenge, we realized we don't really want Bellevue's interests represented effectively in the legislature or anywhere else. So yeah, vote Bright. And listen to HeartBeat!

Initiative Measure No. 1631

The first thing you need to know about I-1631 (henceforth referred to as "the carbon fee") is that the SECB—an ungovernable collection of maladapted hacks who hate each other as much as they hate themselves—support it unanimously. The carbon fee is the sort of history-making climate policy we sorely need. It's not perfect, true, but the world is melting and doing this particular something is better than doing nothing.

Basically, carbon polluters will be charged $15 per metric ton of carbon emissions beginning in 2020. The fee would rise by $2 annually until the state's greenhouse gas reduction goals are met. With this fee, the state hopes to raise about $1 billion per year for clean air and energy projects, clean water projects, and forest health. (Forest fires, ever heard of 'em?) Yes, gas prices will go up. But the carbon fee offsets the pain of the regressive tax by investing a portion of the money in low-income communities to help them reduce fossil-fuel use, cut pollution, and lower their energy bills.

The opposition—which consists of Big Oil, Republicans, and union workers in fossil-fuel industries—has been attacking this initiative "from the left," and it's been funny to watch them try. In our endorsement meeting, Dana Bieber, the spokesperson for the petroleum company backing the opposition campaign, agreed that climate change was the biggest problem facing our generation. She also agreed that we needed to do more than I-1631. But when we asked how she voted on the last climate bill, Bieber said she didn't remember. (Did Bieber's hypocrisy play a part in our unanimous support for the initiative? Nope, we're backing this thing on its merits. But it sure was entertaining to watch someone paid to lie for a living be so bad at it.) Big Oil also argues that the fee exempts too many big emitters, pointing to the TransAlta coal plant in Centralia—but that plant will be completely shut down by 2025. Plus, when asked if they would support the carbon fee if it had fewer exemptions, Bieber & Co. went silent.

Unlike the last carbon tax, this carbon fee was created by a diverse coalition of environmentalists, labor unions, communities of color, and local tribes. They're people from all walks of life who came together to make climate policy that we desperately need and that will set a precedent for the rest of the country and, hey, maybe the world. Except the rest of the world is already in the Paris Accords and we're over here with our thumb up our ass. Let's change that. Vote YES on the carbon fee, aka I-1631.

Initiative Measure No. 1634

Guess who doesn't want cities across Washington to be able to tax soda and raise a bunch of money so they can pay for education? The Coca-Cola Company, PepsiCo Inc., Keurig Dr Pepper, and Red Bull North America. These giant drink companies have dropped more than $13 million to back this initiative, which would block cities other than Seattle from taxing "any raw or processed food or beverage, or any ingredient thereof, intended for human consumption."

Proponents are framing the initiative as a way of preventing local governments from taxing "groceries," but in the state of Washington, it's already illegal to tax "most grocery type food." The only "grocery type foods" we can slap sales taxes on, according to the state Department of Revenue, are "prepared food, soft drinks, or dietary supplements." The state already has to keep its hands off your broccoli.

Ads supporting I-1634 show humble farmers and earnest mothers calling Seattle's soda tax "huge," expressing great concern about the poor, and fearing the idea will spread to their little fucking hamlet in bumfucknowhere. Where do we start unpacking this bullshit? First of all, distributors pay for the tax. If they pass the buck to your Coke-guzzling spawn, that's on them. And while sales taxes are regressive, poor people have an easy solution if they want to avoid the 1.75 cents per fluid ounce tax. Switch to diet! Or drink a carbonated fruit beverage that rhymes with "mah boy!" Those drinks aren't taxed!

One fact you won't find in Big Sugar's lying ads? Seattle's soda tax is working. So is Berkeley's. So is Philly's. People are drinking less regular soda, which is good for their health. Cities are taking in more money for education, which is good for people's brains. If other cities in Washington want to join the club, then let them make that decision themselves. Vote NO on I-1634.

Initiative Measure No. 1639

This initiative is often described as the most ambitious gun-reform proposal in state history. While that is factually true, it is also really fucking depressing, because I-1639 isn't the radical gun confiscation program we'd like to see. It's the most basic expansion of gun safety measures you could dream up—and the fact that I-1639's changes are not already enshrined in state law is completely fucking nuts. But "fucking nuts" is the most accurate way to describe gun laws in our country, and I-1639 would thankfully take us one tiny step closer to sanity.

If this initiative becomes law, it would impose a number of new gun-safety measures: additional background checks and training for people who feel the need to own a semiautomatic firearm, a $25 fee for purchasing guns that would fund mental-health programs, a 10-day waiting period for purchasing a semiautomatic assault rifle, raising the minimum age for buying a firearm to 21, and increasing the fines for improperly storing firearms. That's it. That's all. The Russian-funded NRA is predictably throwing a shit fit about this initiative. Don't let these domestic terrorists win, vote YES on I-1639.

Initiative Measure No. 940

I-940 would make it easier to hold cops who kill criminally accountable. The majority of the state legislature agrees with this idea, but here it is on the November ballot anyway. Why? Tim Fucking Eyman. The state legislature voted I-940 into law last year after hammering out a compromise between reformers and law-enforcement groups. Then Eyman sued the legislature, claiming they broke the law when they made their deal. The state supreme court agreed with Eyman, and so here we are now voting on something that was already decided.

Legislators in Olympia claim they will pass their version again—this time in an Eyman-proof way—when they reconvene next year. But that's less likely to happen if this initiative fails. I-940 removes a state statute that requires prosecutors to prove an officer acted in "malice" when they kill someone, which will make it easier for the courts to hold cops accountable. Our state laws are some of the most protective for cops in the country, and I-940 would fix that. The initiative would also require additional hours of mental-health training and de-escalation technique training for officers across the state. Washington needs this. Vote YES on I-940.

Advisory Vote No. 19 Engrossed Second Substitute Senate Bill 6269

King County Elections should just rename these pointless advisory votes Tim Eyman Thinks He's Cute With This Bullshit. A while ago, Eyman passed an initiative that required voters to "see" tax increases passed by the state legislature—so you're looking at a tax increase here and being asked to cast an "advisory" vote. It doesn't even matter how you vote on this. The results are nonbinding. Vote maintained—and if you see Tim Eyman in the street, tell him to go fuck himself.

Prosecuting Attorney

Dan Satterberg is a fake Democrat who has spent 33,000 years in the prosecuting attorney's office, including 11 years at the head of the department. The SECB was excited about the prospects of his progressive opponent, Daron Morris, but the reform-minded attorney dropped out of the race in late September. So Satterberg, who left the GOP in May of this year, will have to do.

Justice Position No. 8

Nathan Choi didn't show up for our endorsement meeting, but the SECB isn't sure that Choi even lives on this planet. "I am the only candidate who has successfully developed Real Estate," his statement reads in the voters' pamphlet. Um, what the fuck does real estate have to do with being a supreme court justice? Choi also has a record of campaign violations and personal lawsuits. In a divorce proceeding, he allegedly failed to pay child support, falsified records, and tried to move his children to Hawaii, where he can't practice law because of a suspended license. In a signed court declaration, Choi admits to his ignorance of the law: "I am licensed to practice law in Washington. However, I do not know the Washington rules so I only do immigration work for Korean speaking clients," he wrote.

Meanwhile, Justice Steve Gonzalez is a fucking prince who made us all blush with his uhhh huh huh handsome command of the justice system. Gonzalez can hold us in contempt anytime. But in all semi-seriousness, Gonzalez is in his seventh year on the Washington State Supreme Court, after 10 years on the King County Superior Court. He's the chair of the Interpreter Commission and speaks Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, and English. He's committed to increasing the number of people of color working in the justice system, and he actively recruits those kinds of candidates to work on his staff. Vote Gonzalez.

Shoreline Electoral District Judge Position No. 1

The SECB took great pleasure in watching Commissioner Les Ponomarchuk squirm as we confronted him about a recent 15-day unpaid suspension he received for forcing a respondent to "tattoo himself" (Ponomarchuk's words, not ours) on the arm with his next court date. It wasn't really a tattoo—the defendant just had to write on his arm in black permanent marker. But Ponomarchuk's demand was a shocking display of a judge tripping on his own power.

Joe Campagna is a smart local attorney with tons of experience, a large number of endorsements (including every single supreme court justice), and a great perspective on the court system. "The district court can be a great problem-solving court. It doesn't have to be a revolving door in and out of jail, which it can be if we're not careful," he said. The SECB finds hope in Campagna's wisdom. Vote Campagna.

Northeast Electoral District Judge Position No. 1

Marcus Naylor is profoundly boring, but that is exactly what the SECB looks for in a judge. He also has nearly three decades of experience in the King County Department of Public Defense, experience as a pro-tem judge, and a thorough understanding of how fucked up our criminal justice system is, in part thanks to the time he spends volunteering to give free legal advice to people who can't afford a lawyer for civil issues. He has the support of a bunch of local judges, and the King County Bar Association rated him as "exceptionally well qualified." Vote Naylor.

Proposition No. 1: Families, Education, Preschool, and Promise Levy

Mayor Jenny Durkan's education levy is a no-brainer. Prop. 1 renews money for preschool, summer school, special school for at-risk youth, regular-ass K–12 school, and community college education for all Seattle public high school students. A few "education advocates" worry that too much money—about 52 percent—will go to expanding preschool education. But, as we've seen time and again, investments in high-quality preschool pays off. Boston paved the way with this approach to universal preschool, and, with some refining, the city has come close to eliminating the opportunity gap. The education levy will increase property taxes on the median home by roughly $9 per month, and some techno-libertarian assholes might say the levy is not worth it because daddy Bezos plans to swoop in with his $2 billion plan to fund shelters and private schools. But who knows when the fuck that's going to happen? And as much as the SECB respects and admires all the good Bezos's balls have done for our community, we're skeptical of his vague free-market solution. Without the education levy, thousands of low-income and minority kids would lose quality preschool. That's unacceptable. This levy is necessary for extending opportunity to all of our kids. Vote YES on Proposition 1.

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This endorsement has been corrected to reflect the fact that the Families, Education, Preschool, and Promise Levy will increase property taxes on the median home by $9, not $20 as previously stated. The total cost of the levy is $248 a year (or about $20 a month), but expiring levies currently cost $136, so the net increase is $112 a year, or $9.33 a month.