There are so many times in life that the journey seems way more difficult than it needs to be. Parents pass on, our spouse wants a divorce, we lose our job or we just can not seem to lose weight. Disappointment and failures happen but it is how we handle these events that can make us or break us. Learning how to deal with these issues in a positive way will help us to avoid unwanted stress and build our character.

We can learn so much by watching others. When there is a problem how do you react? Do you lash out at someone even if it isn’t their fault or do you look at the whole problem and try to come up with a solution. Do you laugh at yourself when you trip over a rug or do you go off on the person who may or may not have put the rug there? Someone is always watching you and how you react will have a great impact on how they view you. People like to be around people who are calm, who react dignified without jumping to conclusions. These are the ones who become leaders or achieve the new position.

I spent last evening with a young man. He has been through more in his young life than he should have. He carries himself with dignity and honor. As I have watched him through the years, I have not seen him yell at people, even when he had the right to. But do we ever have the right to? I always learn something from him when I am with him. He has a depth to him that I admire. He already understands that life deals you the hand but how you play that hand determines if you win or lose.

Every situation is not easy in life. Every person is not the same either. When you are faced with someone who isn’t nice or kind, how do you handle it? People really do not remember exact problems but they do remember how the problem was handled. If you have bad things to say about a person it is very likely that who you are saying these things to will not remember what was said but they will remember that you were not a very nice person so choose your words wisely. Remember everybody has opinions and everyone is really not your friend.

Pressing on means just that. When you let problems and situations get to you, you are truly the one who ends up paying for it. It is bad for your health and can raise your blood pressure and cause your heart to beat harder. You don’t sleep well and this will throw your hormones all out of balance and when you do that you gain weight and no one wants any of that. Did you know that when you are letting stress get to you and you are anxious it is much harder to lose weight?

Setting goals is important in life in many matters. If you are someone who worries about everything try to stop. You are not in control of the world and you cannot fix it. Set a goal to let go of one of the things that really bothers you and that you can’t control. Sometimes it helps to use a visual such as setting a butterfly free or blowing the seed of a dandelion. Every time you pick up that worry use your visual. It will bring about a sense of peace and help alleviate some stress. If you are the type of person who talks bad about people before you say a word think about how it would feel if someone talked about you the way you are talking. Would you say this in a face to face conversation? If not let it go, life is truly too short to stress and be angry.

Look for peace in all of the right places. If you are stressed or angry or sad do not use food as comfort. Most comfort food tends to be high calories, high sugar and over processed. Instead of choosing something that is negative, choose something positive. Instead of eating, go for a walk and as you are walking for every negative thought challenge yourself with a positive one. If it is food instead of saying to yourself, “I am fat and will never lose weight.” to “I can choose to be overweight or work on losing it, I am walking for my health. I can do this.”

It also helps when you are feeling blue to begin a new hobby, something you have always wanted to do. Take a painting class, learn how to use Excel, learn how to cook tasty and healthy or how to make a Bonsai tree. Every negative can be turned into a positive. A new adventure isn’t scary, it is fun. Perhaps you have felt burdened with a volunteer position but you have done it for so long it is almost part of your identity. It is ok to leave but replace it with something you love and have always wanted to do. Let your mind encourage not discourage. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and not join your pity party.

Life throws hard punches and it is ok to mourn and truly cleansing to cry but then let go and move forward. Life is short. Soldier, march on.

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