

moral of the story "Well we sure learned our lesson," says me standin in the middle a the smoke an the rubble an the burnin burnin cities, "and that's to never blow up someone else's country again."

"Unless there's a real good reason," says Giblets, "like self-defense or preemptive self-defense or defense from self-defense or revenge."

"Oh well a course there's self-defense," says me. "I mean just cause we wanna stop blowin up other countries doesn't mean we gotta stop blowin up other countries when they blow up our country, or try to blow up our country, or maybe tried to blow up our country, or mighta been friends with somebody that coulda maybe tried to blow up our country."

"But what if they haven't blown us up, and they haven't tried to blow us up, but they've got all kinds of secret deadly weapons they could use to blow us up, like nukes or bombs or guns or anti-bomb guns or very large bees?" says Giblets.

"Oh well then we haveta blow em up," says me. "I mean we can't just sit around waitin for the bees to come for us when we could be deploying our tactical anti-bee pre-defense defense."

"And what if they haven't blown us up, and they haven't tried to blow us up, and they don't have anything to blow us up with, but they are swiftly developing the potential capacity to eventually develop us-blowing-up technology?" says Giblets.

"Well I guess you'd haveta blow them up too," says me. "I mean why would they have bee-making programs in the first place if they weren't plannin to use bees to attack our anti-bee attackers?"

"Which we're gonna need to use to attack their bees," says Giblets.

"So it's all settled then," says me. "We're never gonna blow up anyone else again, unless it's self-defense, or it looks like self-defense, or it could maybe one day become self-defense, or it's in preemptive defense from their self-defense."

"What if it's a favor for a friend?" says Giblets. "Like what if there's this country that can't blow us up, and doesn't want to blow us up, and will never be able to blow us up, but one of our buddies kinda drops over on a Saturday night when we got nothin else to do anyway and they're all 'Can you do me a solid and bomb Iran'?"

"Well there's nothin wrong with bein friendly," says me. "I mean you gotta stick up for your friends."

"And your friends' friends," says Giblets. "And your friends' friends' friends. And your friends' friends' sketchy neighbor who keeps his other neighbors locked up in his basement sex dungeon."

"Well it's not our fault if we just happen to have a lotta friends," says me. "I mean we can't help it if we're popular."

"That's right, we're very loved," says Giblets. "So loved that everybody hates us, which is why we have to blow them up."

"It's really very sad," says me. "But other than these very limited situations we should really stop blowin people up."

"What if it's for a good cause?" says Giblets.

"Whattaya mean?" says me.

"Well like what if there's a genocide or an ethnic cleansing or a civil war or a flood or a malaria-starved orphan child on the tv that only we can save for the price of a cup of coffee and the only way to help them is by dropping thousands and thousands of bombs on their country?" says Giblets.

"Oh wow, I never thought a that," says me.

"No, you didn't," says Giblets. "It's a good thing you have Giblets around to remind you of these weighty responsibilities."

"Could we send them food and stuff instead?" says me.

"No, we can't," says Giblets. "All the food has been eaten. Eaten by bees."

"Oh man!" says me. "If only we'd blown up the bee countries earlier! How about medicine, could we send them some medicine?"

"Can it be delivered by cruise missile?" says Giblets.

"I don't think we've got the technology." says me.

"We'd probably better stick to bombing them then," says Giblets.

"But only 'cause we care," says me. "I guess what we're sayin is, we will never blow up this particular country, that we are standing in right now, in this particular way, ever again."

"Unless there's a real good reason," says Giblets. "Well we sure learned our lesson," says me standin in the middle a the smoke an the rubble an the burnin burnin cities, "and that's to never blow up someone else's country again.""Unless there's a real good reason," says Giblets, "like self-defense or preemptive self-defense or defense from self-defense or revenge.""Oh well a course there's self-defense," says me. "I mean just cause we wanna stop blowin up other countries doesn't mean we gotta stop blowin up other countries when they blow up our country, or try to blow up our country, or maybe tried to blow up our country, or mighta been friends with somebody that coulda maybe tried to blow up our country.""But what if they haven't blown us up, and they haven't tried to blow us up, but they've got all kinds of secret deadly weapons they could use to blow us up, like nukes or bombs or guns or anti-bomb guns or very large bees?" says Giblets."Oh well then we haveta blow em up," says me. "I mean we can't just sit around waitin for the bees to come for us when we could be deploying our tactical anti-bee pre-defense defense.""And what if they haven't blown us up, and they haven't tried to blow us up, and they don't have anything to blow us up with, but they are swiftly developing the potential capacity to eventually develop us-blowing-up technology?" says Giblets."Well I guess you'd haveta blow them up too," says me. "I mean why would they have bee-making programs in the first place if they weren't plannin to use bees to attack our anti-bee attackers?""Which we're gonna need to use to attack their bees," says Giblets."So it's all settled then," says me. "We're never gonna blow up anyone else again, unless it's self-defense, or it looks like self-defense, or it could maybe one day become self-defense, or it's in preemptive defense from their self-defense.""What if it's a favor for a friend?" says Giblets. "Like what if there's this country that can't blow us up, and doesn't want to blow us up, and will never be able to blow us up, but one of our buddies kinda drops over on a Saturday night when we got nothin else to do anyway and they're all 'Can you do me a solid and bomb Iran'?""Well there's nothin wrong with bein friendly," says me. "I mean you gotta stick up for your friends.""And your friends' friends," says Giblets. "And your friends' friends' friends. And your friends' friends' sketchy neighbor who keeps his other neighbors locked up in his basement sex dungeon.""Well it's not our fault if we just happen to have a lotta friends," says me. "I mean we can't help it if we're popular.""That's right, we're very loved," says Giblets. "So loved that everybody hates us, which is why we have to blow them up.""It's really very sad," says me. "But other than these very limited situations we should really stop blowin people up.""What if it's for a good cause?" says Giblets."Whattaya mean?" says me."Well like what if there's a genocide or an ethnic cleansing or a civil war or a flood or a malaria-starved orphan child on the tv that only we can save for the price of a cup of coffee and the only way to help them is by dropping thousands and thousands of bombs on their country?" says Giblets."Oh wow, I never thought a that," says me."No, you didn't," says Giblets. "It's a good thing you have Giblets around to remind you of these weighty responsibilities.""Could we send them food and stuff instead?" says me."No, we can't," says Giblets. "All the food has been eaten. Eaten by bees.""Oh man!" says me. "If only we'd blown up the bee countries earlier! How about medicine, could we send them some medicine?""Can it be delivered by cruise missile?" says Giblets."I don't think we've got the technology." says me."We'd probably better stick to bombing them then," says Giblets."But only 'cause we care," says me. "I guess what we're sayin is, we will never blow up this particular country, that we are standing in right now, in this particular way, ever again.""Unless there's a real good reason," says Giblets. Labels: never say never again, running the world, warnography posted by fafnir at 10:22 AM









