Good rivalries are often the backbone of sports. Frazier and Ali. The Red Sox and the Yankees. The Bears and the Packers.

Now, we have another: Claire Wyckoff and Claire Pisano, the dueling “dick runners,” both of whom use run-tracking apps to draw massive phalluses across their respective cities. Both Claires have attracted attention for their work, and each claims to be the original dick runner.

The imbroglio came to the public’s knowledge last week, when Vice ran an article on Pisano, aka “Dick Run Claire.”

“I love looking for dick run routes,” she told the publication Jan. 17. “I just love running: It’s my favorite way to get a workout in—and drawing a giant dick across a town is really just a bonus.”

But soon after the article ran, another Claire—Claire “Dick Run” Wackoff/Wyckoff, as she's known on Twitter—claimed to have been the original dick-drawing-runner, telling Vice that it had committed a journalistic boner, for it was she, not Pisano, who was the original dick runner.

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.@VICE You wrote an article about "Dick Run Claire". That woman follows me, and steals my runs and now you're promoting her. Google me. Check it out. Can you please take your article down? Or do an article about Dick Run stealing? Thanks. — claire wyckoff is losing it (@ClaireWyckoff) January 17, 2019

“You wrote an article about ‘Dick Run Claire,’” Wyckoff tweeted. “That woman follows me, and steals my runs and now you’re promoting her. Google me. Check it out. Can you please take your article down? Or do an article about Dick Run stealing? Thanks.”

The controversy only grew larger and larger from there.

Pisano told Mashable that her dick-running arose naturally, after she got lost on a jog in 2015 and her route resembled a giant dong. “I had posted it to my Facebook and obviously my friends thought it was funny so I just started randomly working in dick runs once in a while,” she said.

But Wyckoff began her dick running at least as early as 2014, when her penis-runs were reported on by Refinery29 and other publications, and therefore considers herself the “og_dick_run_claire”—and, she says, her counterpart is a plagiarist. “I don’t mind that she’s running dicks,” Wyckoff told Refinery29 recently of the dustup. “I mind that she’s acting like she came up with this without crediting me.”

Pisano has passed off the similar work as a coincidence. “I think there's enough roads out there for all of us to dick run to our heart's content,” she told Refinery29. But that has not assuaged Wyckoff, who has continued to urge her rival to “#ceaseanddicksist.”

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Both Claires have drawn some tremendous dicks, along with a few vaginas, over the years. So perhaps, then, the situation would best be resolved by a proposal Wyckoff floated to BuzzFeed .

“I think we should have a dick run-off,” she said. “A dickathlon.”

It’s not clear how such a run would be judged, but honestly, it doesn’t really matter; with their NSFW runs, they’ve both already won—and so have we.

Eric Lutz Eric Lutz is a writer in Chicago.

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