You might not know it from the way he locks the migrant ones up in cages or deports the ones with cancer, but Donald Trump cares deeply about the children. You see it in the way he poses for photos with them after their parents have been killed in a mass shooting, flashing a thumbs-up sign. You see it in the way he uses Boy Scout Jamboree speeches to regale them with stories about the fabulous cocktail parties he attended in the ’80s with “the hottest people in New York.” In how he keeps eight-year-olds updated on the progress of his border wall and tells seven-year-olds they’re too old to believe in Santa Claus.

In fact, Donald Trump loves the children so much that on Wednesday, he gathered reporters for an unscheduled meeting in the Oval Office where he announced that, after hundreds of people have been killed in mass shootings since he became president, he is finally going to work with Congress to pass meaningful gun control legislation. Just kidding, of course. He’s not doing anything about guns. He’s moving to ban some forms of vaping:

Trump administration officials said on Wednesday they want to ban the sale of most flavored e-cigarettes, at a time when hundreds of people have been sickened by mysterious vaping-related illnesses. Sitting in the Oval Office with Alex M. Azar II, the secretary of Health and Human Services, and Dr. Ned Sharpless, the acting Food and Drug Administration commissioner, President Trump acknowledged that there was a vaping problem, and said, “We’re going to have to do something about it.” Mr. Azar said that the FDA would outline a plan within the coming weeks for removing most flavored e-cigarettes from the market.

Details were sparse, but officials said the proposal may include a ban on menthol and mint-flavored e-cigarettes, which have been among the most popular flavors for the industry. Research has shown that these flavors are very appealing to youths and to nonsmokers, although some vaping advocates note that they hold great appeal for smokers who want to use e-cigarettes to quit.

According to the president, the issue really hit home for first lady Melania Trump because “she’s got a son,” whose father apparently wasn’t taught how to relate to humans, relatives or otherwise, before being sent to this planet:

The president said that it’s this son of Melania’s who made her feel “very strongly” about the issue, a feeling that the first parents have apparently not experienced when it comes to schools turning into killing fields. According to CNN, Republicans have received zero guidance from the president on background checks and guns, leaving the party “in limbo and stalling to answer questions about where their party stands on making even minor changes to laws that some fear vocal supporters could see as an infringement of their Second Amendment rights.” Last month it was reported that Trump has taken to telling people that Don Jr., son of Ivana, is his “expert” on guns, saying Junior “knows more about guns than anyone I know.” Don Jr., of course, famously spends his free time hunting big game and posing for photos alongside the elephants, buffalo, and leopards he’s killed, and has “raised concerns about both red flag legislation and about tightening background checks,” so…sorry, kids!

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