‘I’ve got TWO men who love me’: Woman has baby with the lover her boyfriend encouraged her to take (and they were BOTH there at the birth)



Jaiya Ma had been living her boyfriend Jon Hanauer, 49, for six years when he urged her to take a new lover.

Within weeks, Jaiya, 34, fell for a furniture designer Ian Ferguson, 44, at a dance class, and a year later she fell pregnant with his baby.

But Jon supported Jaiya, welcomed Ian into his home, and the two men helped deliver baby Eamon during an 'orgasmic' labour.

Happy families: Jaiya Ma with her two lovers, Ian Ferguson, left, and Jon Hanauer, and her and Ian's child, Eamon. 'Having three parents around just makes life even better, and everyone talks about how advanced Eamon is,' said Jaiya

Now the three live together in a beautiful home in Topanga, California, raising Eamon, two and a half.

'I am so lucky,' said Jaiya, a sexologist. 'I have two amazing men who really care for me and Eamon. Having three parents around just makes life even better, and everyone talks about how advanced Eamon is.'

Jaiya and Jon met in June 2000, while taking tantric yoga classes in Cinncinati, Ohio, and fell in love in March 2001 during a tantric teacher training course.

Jaiya explained: 'Jon was lying on the floor pretending to be the student and he reached up and pulled me on top of him. We both instantly felt something. It was literally like we crashed into each other.'

Jon added: 'Something happened that I just do not have words for. We were both like: "What was that?" I just held her for about three hours, kissing her cheeks.'

The look of love: Ian and Jaiya, when she was pregnant with his child. Jaiya had been living with her boyfriend Jon Hanauer, for six years, when he urged her to take a new lover. Within weeks she had met Ian at a dance class

Polyamorous: Jon and Jaiya embrace in the sea. They met in June 2000, while taking tantric yoga classes. When they got together, Jaiya was engaged to a man called Tony but he couldn't cope with sharing his fiancee

Jaiya was engaged to a man called Tony, who could not cope with sharing his fiance, despite discussing having an open relationship.

Six months later, Jaiya and Jon began living and working together, helping couples who had trouble in their sex lives and writing a book, Red Hot Touch, about the importance of touching your partner to keep a relationship alive.

'We had an open relationship, where we could be really honest and tell each other if we were attracted to other people,' said Jaiya.

'But in 2007 I met a guy who was much younger and started a relationship with him, as Jon was okay with it. Eventually he came to live with us.'

But after a few months, Jaiya discovered the man, who she declines to name, had betrayed her by sleeping with a friend before she'd given her agreement.

Jon said: 'I was devastated for Jaiya, and I felt guilty because I should have protected her. This guy was very manipulative and I was angry at myself that I was so fooled by him. It made me retreat into myself and I didn't even want to leave the house. Jaiya wanted to connect and I just couldn't.'

The couple moved to Los Angeles to promote their new DVD and Jon started to worry Jaiya needed to go out and meet new people.

Unconventional: Jaiya and Ian in the birthing pool during the birth of baby Eamon, as Jon looks on. The three adults took classes to prepare for a home labour and were 'cleansed' before the birth in order to welcome the baby

Emotional: Jaiya and Ian soon after Eamon's arrival. When Jaiya returned to work, Jon volunteered to be the main caregiver and to stay at home with the baby

'Jon became very quiet and introverted,' she said. 'He told me I should find another guy to be with. At that stage we were going through a difficult time. But our work kept us together.'

Jaiya placed an advert on Craigslist asking men if they'd like to take her out, and was instantly flooded with requests and went out on four dinner dates.

'None of the men really interested me, because I just didn't feel a connection with them,' she said. 'But then on July 11, 2007, I went to an ecstatic dance class and that's where I met Ian.

'I was trying to avoid dancing with the other men but Ian was a bit more expressive, and suddenly I felt arms come underneath my arms and I immediately felt incredibly safe.'

Ian told Jaiya he had gone through a divorce and had begun dating other women, but had discovered polyamorous relationships just two weeks before.

'I was surprised to learn he was polyamorous,' said Jaiya. 'We seemed to meet each other at exactly the right time.

'I'd already told Jon I'd met this amazing guy and he'd been genuinely happy for me.'

Ian added: 'I found talking to Jaiya so refreshing. She really understands men because of her work. We fell head over heels in love without feeling romantic about it. We didn't have to think we'd found: "The One".'

Jon said: 'I'd had intense connections with other women and I knew what that feels like. I know how much it adds to your life, how it fuels you and feeds you.'

Jaiya and Ian began a sexual relationship, and a year later, while they were still discussing trying for a baby, Jaiya fell pregnant.

'I had previously discussed having children with Jon, but he felt he wasn't ready to have a baby,' said Jaiya.

Open relationship: Jon and Jaiya share a special moment. With Jon's encouragement, Jaiya placed an advert on Craigslist asking men if they'd like to take her out, and was instantly flooded with requests and went out on four dinner dates

Jon added: 'I asked her if she was sure about having the baby and she said she was. Once I knew it was what she really wanted I was okay with it too.

'It was hard, and I asked myself: "How can I just let this happen?" But Jaiya immediately started suffering severe morning sickness, and so all I could do was look after her.

'After that I just did let things happen, but I'm glad that I did.'

Ian helped pay for Jaiya and Jon to move into a new house in the mountains of Topanga, California, and the three adults took classes to prepare for a home labour and 'orgasmic' birth.

'We had a doula and even a film crew who were filming the birth for our new DVD,' says Jon. 'All eight of us were cleansed of any ill feeling so we could welcome the new baby into the world.'

On the day of Eamon's birth on March 23 2009, Jaiya, Ian and Jon were all in the birthing pool.

She said: 'It was an amazing experience. Ian was holding me while Eamon was born and Jon and the doula were at the side of the tub.

'When he came out Jon cut the cord. All three of us were crying.'

The birth brought Jaiya, Jon and Ian closer and they decided to live together as a family.

But the birth also caused problems for Jaiya as she suffered a bad tear and needed special massage to remove her scar tissue. Now, she uses her experience to help other women after childbirth.

When Jaiya returned to work, Jon volunteered to be the main caregiver and to stay at home with the baby.

'My work is mainly writing and distributing our DVDs which I can do from home in the evenings,' said Jon. 'Ian's job means he is the main breadwinner and it makes sense for me to look after Eamon.'

The three admit it will be more difficult when Eamon starts school. But Jaiya added: 'There are so many modern families these days, with stepdads and stepmoms, or two dads, or two moms, it might not seem so different.

'Eamon learned to call Ian dadda without anyone telling him to say that. Sometimes he calls Jon "Poppa Jon" or "my caretaker".'

Jon adds: 'Eamon loves to have two guys running around and playing with him. I'd always want to be a part of Eamon's life.

'It has made me realise how much I want my own child. But if I meet another woman, it would have to be someone who would fit in with our family.'

Jaiya says: 'I'm looking for adventure at the moment, so I might want to find another partner in the future. But I'll always have a relationship with Jon and Ian, however that evolves.'

And Ian adds: 'I hope if we have new relationships they will add to the rest of the group. It would be great to have other polyamorous people in our area, so the community can support each other.'

For more information about Jaiya's sexology work and Jaiya and Jon's books go to www.redhottouch.com and www.howtoloveopenly.com