Development of the Strategic Interactive Approach

Family members and friends often feel angry, confused, hurt, frustrated and helpless when they realize a loved one has gotten involved with a controlling person or group. They often notice a radical personality change. They either try to argue the person away, are reassured or told to mind their own business. I have blogged about common errant beliefs. Getting informed, choosing a professional and their approach ideally needs to happen as quickly as possible. Then a plan can be developed. Almost everyone wants to just “fix the problem” and tries to do this themselves. This often makes the situation far worse than taking some time, educating themselves and then acting.

Since being deprogrammed myself from the Moonies in 1976, by a team of ex-members hired by my parents, I have wanted to help others to get free. For about one year, I was involved with deprogramming from that cult.

Back in the 1970’s, courts were granting ex-parte conservatorships to parents for their adult cult members to have custody for one week in order to expose them to information about brainwashing and their organization. The cult members had to report back to the judge in person one week later. These conservatorships were largely successful in helping cult members reevaluate and leave. I believe they worked because there was a physical separation from the group. Cult members were exposed to ex-members for the first time, who encouraged them to think about how they were recruited and indoctrinated. (Remember there were no smartphones or internet back then.)

Unfortunately, with intense lobbying, judges stopped granting conservatorships. I stopped doing deprogramming. It was high stress, sometimes traumatic. It was also clearly illegal at that point. I started speaking out against forced, illegal deprogramming, except where there was the high potential for loss of life (like a faith healing cult where the person stopped taking their insulin and was about to die).

Since 1977, I started doing a voluntary approach called “exit-counseling” which was largely successful. That is this which I wrote about it in my 1988 book. Cult leaders read my book and stopped allowing members to come home unescorted or for 2-3 day visits. Move and counter move. As I became trained as a mental health professional, I developed an approach that relied on training and coaching family and friends to speak effectively with the cult member. Of course, some cults cut off the person entirely from their family and friends. (If this is your situation, there is still hope to help, but it will be far more difficult.)

The goal is always to empower people to think for themselves and make independent decisions. I call it the Strategic Interactive Approach. I work with family, friends, ex-members, and others to develop a team. Together, we do an ethical influence campaign with a respectful, loving, nuanced approach which is totally customized to fit that client’s unique situation.

A Loving, Ethical Approach that Empowers Individuals

The Strategic Interactive Approach (SIA) encourages warm, positive relationships between cult members and their families. The Freedom of Mind company advocates respectful, loving and non-coercive interactions. We believe love is stronger than mind control! We believe in empowering people by having a good relationship with them, sharing with them, and asking questions in a curious way. We avoid angry, judgemental, confrontational interactions. Everyone on the team learns about how to communicate effectively.