This morning I woke up to discover my emergency heat had kicked in because it was 24 degrees outside. I live in North Carolina, y’all — sure, in the mountains where it’s about ten degrees cooler than the rest of the state, but still… Twenty-four degrees is notably chilly here in the dead of winter, much less March 19 when the lawn mowing season has usually begun.

What’s more, in about 36 hours, spring is supposed to arrive. … And yet, it is still freakin’ cold out there. You know it. I know it. We all know it, which means the Global Warming Hoaxsters know it.

You see, according to the “experts” our planet is supposed to be warming — the “End of Snow” and all that. But it sure isn’t working out that way of late and the Global Warming Hoaxsters are not just worried over this inconvenient truth, they’re freaking all the way out…

A “freak out” is the only way to explain the breathtakingly stupid con job published by the far-left Associated Press on Tuesday. The hoax piece is titled, “AP finds hot records falling twice as often as cold ones,” and a bigger piece of garbage science you will never read … at least until the next one.

Let’s take these one at a time.

The AP reports the following:

Over the past 20 years, Americans have been twice as likely to sweat through record-breaking heat rather than shiver through record-setting cold, a new Associated Press data analysis shows. The AP looked at 424 weather stations throughout the Lower 48 states that had consistent temperature records since 1920 and counted how many times daily hot temperature records were tied or broken and how many daily cold records were set. … The AP shared the data analysis with several climate and data scientists, who all said the conclusion was correct, consistent with scientific peer-reviewed literature and showed a clear sign of human-caused climate change.

If you read that closely, the AP is selling pure snake oil, and is doing so about a planet that is 4.5 billion — with a “b” — years old.

What I mean is that the AP wants you to believe that…

…more hot than cold temperature records being broken means something. It doesn’t. …on a 4.5 billion-year-old planet, temperatures recorded over a mere 20 years mean something. They don’t. …on a 4.5 billion-year-old planet, temperature records that reach back only 99 years (to 1920) mean something. They don’t.

Do you see what I’m getting at? Extrapolating 20 years out of 4.5 billion isn’t just cherry picking, it’s lying; it’s outrageous and irresponsible, but nowhere near as outrageous and irresponsible as this…

In a stable climate, the numbers should be roughly equal.

That is, without question, one of the most misleading and deliberately deceptive things I’ve read since I stopped reading Chris Cillizza.

The premise of that sentence is total horseshit because the premise is that our planet’s climate is supposed to be “stable” when history and science prove the exact opposite.

Ever hear of the Ice Age?

Actually, there have been five Ice Ages over the lifetime of our planet and all five occurred long before humans started barbecuing and beef cattle started farting.

In other words, our climate is not stable, it is nothing close to stable, and that instability has nothing to do with a lack of recycling. Therefore, the AP matter-of-factly suggesting our planet’s climate would be stable were it not for NASCAR is pure propaganda.

It is simply a scientific fact that we do not live in a shopping mall, in a climate-controlled paradise. That is not how the natural world works.

Instability in our climate is normal.

Here’s another inconvenient fact the AP report glosses over:

The analysis stopped with data through 2018. However, the first two months of 2019 are showing twice as many cold records than hot ones.

Wait, what?

Why are those 2019 records not included? Give me a good reason to exclude those numbers. Give me a journalistic and/or scientific reason to exclude those numbers.

There is none because this is all about ginning up hysteria in the hopes we will all be bamboozled into surrendering our freedom to an elite central authority who will live like pharaohs and rule over us like Stalin while we’re forced to live in urban housing projects hoping the government-produced food isn’t people.

UPDATE: Hold on. Maybe I was wrong.

This is breaking news from the AP… In ten years, the headline warns, the “U.N. Predicts Disaster if Global Warming Not Checked.”

Holy moly, check this out from The Experts:

Coastal flooding and crop failures would create an exodus of ″eco- refugees,′ ′ threatening political chaos, said Noel Brown, director of the New York office of the U.N. Environment Program, or UNEP. He said governments have a 10-year window of opportunity to solve the greenhouse effect before it goes beyond human control. As the warming melts polar icecaps, ocean levels will rise by up to three feet, enough to cover the Maldives and other flat island nations, Brown told The Associated Press in an interview on Wednesday. Coastal regions will be inundated; one-sixth of Bangladesh could be flooded, displacing a fourth of its 90 million people. A fifth of Egypt’s arable land in the Nile Delta would be flooded, cutting off its food supply, according to a joint UNEP and U.S. Environmental Protection Agency study.

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

A senior U.N. environmental official says entire nations could be wiped off the face of the Earth by rising sea levels[.]

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

The end is nigh!

I don’t know what “nigh” means, but this is bad.

SECOND UPDATE: Oops. That article is not breaking news. That particular report about global warming wiping entire nations off the face of the Earth in ten years is from … 1989.

As I have mentioned before, although I am only 53-years-old, I’ve already seen nearly 20 apocalyptic predictions crash and burn.

Here’s a list of the environmental hoaxes perpetrated by the media and scientific “experts” over the last four decades:

According to these lying liars, all of this was supposed to have already happened.

And now these lying liars are running out of hoaxes, which has made the AP so desperate it is reporting on 20 years of temperatures on a 4.5 billion-year-old planet, which is like judging a person’s life based on a fraction of a second of that life.

That’s not science, it is deliberate and naked dishonesty.

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.