I love sports. I especially love sports when the United States is competing as a country. I grew up in in a state without any pro sports, so the Olympics and the World Cup were my few-and-far-between chances to cheer for the home team. So, with the World Cup in full swing, it’s especially embarrassing for me that the US’s go-to chant is so weak.

In case you aren’t familiar:

Ugh.

A good chant should immediately strike fear in your opponent’s heart. This… does not do that.

It takes forever to get going. By the time the crowd gets to “I believe that we” the first half of the game is over.

It’s not intimidating. “I believe that we will win” is about as insistent as “please sir can I have some more gruel?” We’re not sure we’re going to win, we’re just hoping . If we lose we won’t be that surprised.

we’re going to win, we’re just . If we lose we won’t be surprised. It has nothing to do with the US. Literally any country could chant I believe that we will win and it would apply just as well.

Stack I believe that we will win up against England’s Two World Wars And One World Cup or Iceland’s SKOL and we should be embarrassed for ourselves.

It’s also been co-opted by the worst kind of Barstool Sports bros. Look at these chodes:

(jump to 3:12 if the timestamp doesn’t work)

Find someone who loves chanting I believe that we will win and there’s a good chance you’ll also find a Saturdays Are For The Boys wall flag and strong opinions about beer pong rules.

So in the interest of bringing solutions and not problems, what should we be chanting instead? Well I’m glad you asked:

That’s a Memphis-area football team staying hype during a rain delay. The video got big enough for the NFL to use it to promote last season’s playoffs. As a chant for US sports, it’s absolutely perfect.

It’s American as hell. It’s from the chorus of a 2002 rap song (American art form) recorded by an Atlanta artist (American city) using a melody from a 1969 song by an American band.

It gets right to the point. We ready. We’re ready for who? Y’all. Four words. Thank you very much.

We’re ready for who? Four words. Thank you very much. It’s intimidating. It doesn’t matter what the other team is bringing. We ready. They’re fast? We ready. They won last time? We ready. Soccer is the most popular sport in their country and has been for generations? We. Ready.

Or, if that’s no good, can we at least just go back to U-S-A?