From late-night TV jokes to sensational headlines, supposedly sordid pictures and judgmental comments, the media and public have lambasted Bruce Jenner’s until-now private gender transition process because his efforts to feminize his external presentation were seen as failures by traditional, cisgender female beauty standards. But many transgender people can neither “pass” nor afford to have surgery to do so – and trans women deserve kindness and respect whether they’re perceived by others as cisgender women or not.

Jenner himself seems to have absorbed the notion that “passing” – when strangers assume that we are cisgender instead of trans women – is vital to transition and is preparing for a “transformation” before going out in public again. But I fear that much of his political power as a woman who struggles to pass will be simply replaced, without discussion, by conventional constructions of female beauty.

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“Passing” is a controversial term and concept in the trans community. Those who don’t look trans to others, like celebrity author and trans activist Janet Mock, resent the implication that her gender or her presentation are intended to deceive: “I’m a woman. I live my life as a woman and that’s how I should be perceived. I’m not passing as anything, I’m being.”

Mock’s description of the dynamics of passing is precisely why we need to continue to use the term; “passing” isn’t about one’s intention as a trans person, but how one’s acceptability is judged by others, and one need not seek out the privilege it affords to benefit from it. Some women, like Mock and me, might have the choice to disclose, but I don’t experience being unquestionably accepted as a woman until I disclose as trans as “just being” – and I know that “just being” is a privilege that many other trans people don’t have. We risk minimizing the enormous benefits that passing in a society that continues to be deeply transphobic brings if we reject discussing it because we focus on our own intentions.

Besides which, judging by the public reaction to Jenner’s transition, passing continues to be a condition of acceptance for many trans people, and it’s at the crux of why Jenner’s transition is quickly becoming a test of how the public acknowledges the fundamental humanity of trans people (or not).

Disclosed trans people who “pass” are objectified in different ways than those that do not: Mock and I are gawked at when we disclose because we pass (and that attention amplifies our voices and our experiences); trans women like Bruce Jenner are objectified regardless because they don’t. The amplification of some of our voices seems acceptable to the American public as long as their perception of us as desirable women isn’t unduly challenged, which is why a vast majority of prominent trans women celebrities have passing privilege – Geena Rocero, Carmen Carrera, and Laverne Cox, among others.

Passing involves multiple dimensions of context, perception and bodily attributes that exist on a spectrum, which is part of why it’s impossible to define a trans person as simply passing or not passing. Cox, for instance, illustrates the complications of passing: physically larger than many women or men, she talks about still occasionally being called “a man” and “he-she” on the street, reinforcing her belief that she doesn’t have passing privilege. But she’s also still conventionally attractive which, combined with her talent and insight, allows her to navigate the tricky waters of public perception.

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Bruce Jenner’s physical appearance this close to the beginning of his transition, amplified by the fact that the American public has a strong collective memory of his conventional and idealized male identity, is a burden that most other trans celebrities don’t have – and it’s one that many other trans people do, especially those who transition later in life. The greater a challenge it is for the American public to accept him, the more it fuels a desire to turn his transition into a spectacle and reveals the underside of the way that we congratulate other passing trans celebrities for their visibility.

By transitioning as a highly visible trans woman who does not have passing privilege, Jenner is both participating in the spectacle and, perhaps, trying to define his womanhood on his own terms given his limitations. There were many indications in Jenner’s interview that he will pursue whatever means necessary to achieve conventional beauty, to follow his stepadughter Kim’s advice: “Girl, you gotta rock it baby. You gotta look good.” Yet this personal choice has the potential effect of diluting his power as the public face of the many trans women who struggle to live up to society’s ideas of how to express our gender in order to be treated with respect.

Only time will tell how Jenner’s body and appearance – and how our collective knowledge of his past – will affect the public’s perception of what it means to be trans. Trans people don’t want to feel like our acceptance by others is contingent on us appearing and behaving as though we are not trans; we need a society where we don’t have to pass to be seen as human.

Editor’s note: At the time of publication, Glaad recommended that the media use male pronouns when referring to Jenner, stating: “At this time, Bruce Jenner has not indicated that a new name or pronoun should be used”.