We open to Duo, Chibodee, and Kou sitting in Bright’s Bar watching the Space News on their Space TV made by Sony. Yes, Sony exists and yes they control all of the Space Music. The Space News is covering the on going Space Citizens Uprising brought to you by Zeon.

Duo: “Man we sure are lucky we aren’t in a bad place in Space Philadelphia.”

Chibodee: “Even if we were, as head of security I can take down any old space traitor! After all I am the undefeated boxing champ of our block.”

Duo: “Chibodee the only other people on our block are an H&R Block and those three old homeless guys that jack it in the allies.”

Kou: “Yeah dude, remember that time in high school you got beat down by that fifth grader?”

Chibodee: “Dude, that was the Hulk Hogan of fifth graders and I was drunk.”

Duo: “Wasn’t that kid a nerd from the Space Chess Club?”

Kou: “Yeah dude, he was super dorky.”

Chibodee: “Ah, fuck you guys! I am going out, I need to get my pump on!”

*Chibodee walks towards the door.*

*Cagalli walks through the door*

Cagalli: ” Guys, please be cool. My new boyfriend wanted to see where I worked, so just be cool.”

*Man in Zeon uniform walks into bar*

Man: “Hey guys, whats up?”

Chibodee: “Woah man, we don’t want any trouble.”

Cagalli: “Guys this is Zach, he’s my boyfriend.”

Chibodee: “Ohhhhh, see I thought, since he was wearing a uniform, he was coming in to shake us down.”

Zach: “What? has that happened to your before? I guess there aren’t too many Zeon out here.”

*Duo, Kou and Chibodee all mumble about Zeons coming in regularly, clearly they do not*

Cagalli: “Thanks guys, real cool.”

THE GANG GETS SPACIST

*The gang sits at the bar as Zach tells wars stories*

Zach: “There I was, face to face with a Federation mobile suit, I knew I had to act fast, as I was out of ammo. I hit the thrusters as hard as I could and jetted back to the ship where the guns took him down.”

Kou: “Damn man, that must have been intense.”

Zach: “It was, didn’t think I was going to make it back alive.”

Kou: “Being a pilot must get you pretty far with the ladies.”

Zach: “It got me pretty far with this one.”

*Kou leans over to Duo*

Kou: “That dude’s totally going to bang your sister, bro.”

*Noteworthy: All of the characters are in their late to mid 20’s, don’t get any ideas you filthy degenerates*

*We next find Kou entering his favorite space coffee shop, where the love of his life works as a space a barista*

Kou: “I noticed you have one of those green ‘Space Interpendance, Support Zeon’ pins on. I have a friend who’s a mobile suit pilot. I just so happen to be very passionate about it.”

Nina: “Yeah, thats cool Kou. Are you going to order a drink or am I going to have to call Gato out here to make your leave again.”

Kou: “GAAAAAAATTTTTTOOOOOO!!!!!”

*Duo is manning the bar when Zach and some Zeon military friends come through*

Duo: “Hey guys, can I get you something to drink?”

Zach: “Yeah, just some beers will be fine, we won’t be long.”

*Duo overhears the Zeon personnel talking about plans to do something in the colony*

*Duo thinks to himself that he has to report them to someone, after all he is the rich earth elite guy*

Duo: “Here are those beers fellas, so whats going on over here? Talking about those damn feddy bastards? I just hate those guy, makes me wanna—Ahhh— you know?”

*All zeon guys look awkwardly at Duo*

Zach: “Uhh No, just out for a drink. We should actually get going.”

Duo: “Ah, nah man, come on, let’s protest or blow something up. Where’s the badass space rebellion I’ve heard about?”

*All the Zeon military members leave quickly.*

*Chibodee is in a space gym training to beat up anyone.*

Chibodee: “Goddamned Space Traitors, living cooler more badass lives than me. I’ll show them, I’ll kick all their asses.”

Duo: “Hey man we gotta do something about those Zeons hanging out in the bar. A bunch just left the bar and I am pretty sure they are planning something big.”

Chibodee: “Oh shit dude, we have to take this into our own hands. We have to take them down, we’ll be war heroes.”

Duo: “I don’t know dude, this seems like a job for the Federation military. I don’t think we are qualified to handle something like this.”

Chibodee: “Dude, don’t be a bitch, you’re a goddamned American! You have to do something about this. I mean that dude’s banging your sister!”

Duo: “Dude, gross. I am just going to go to the cops.”

Chibodee: “Fine, be a weak, lame bitch, I am gonna get my pump on and take on some space traitors!”

*Duo walks into the Space Police Station*

Duo: “Hi, yeah, I wanted to submit an anonymous tip. I think some Zeon soliders are gonna blow something up.”

Lady at Desk: “Okay sir, fill this out and bring it back.”

Duo: “No, I need to talk to a detective or someone like that, this is important dammit!”

Lady At Desk: “Sir, unless you want to spend the night in jail I, suggest you take a seat and fill out the form.”

Duo: “FINE! I’ll do this myself.”

*Duo, Kou and Chibodee end up at the bar*

Duo: “If the police won’t do anything, we have to take care of this ourselves!”

Chibodee: “Hell yeah! Let’s do this!”

Kou: “Damn Zeons and Gato. Especially Gato, he’s a real bastard man.”

Duo: “Dude, what? Anyway, let’s get some weapons and dispense some good old street justice!”

Chibodee: “One step ahead of you!”

*Chibodee pulls out some Spaceball Bats*

*Zach and Cagalli walk into the Bar*

Zach: “Hey guys whats up? Playing some good old Spaceball?”

Chibodee: “Nah, Space Traitor, your time’s up! we know your plan!”

Zach: “Oh no, you guys heard about the surprise party?”

Duo: “Wait, what?”

Zach: “Yeah, when the guys and I stopped by yesterday it was to survey the place for a surprise party for our friends coming in on leave.”

Duo: “Ah shit. God dammit Chibodee, I let you get me all worked up with your spacist speech.”

Chibodee: “Bullshit, you were gonna blow up the space port weren’t you?”

Zach: “What? No, man, that doesn’t even make sense. We’d be trapped here to.”

Kou: “GAAAATTTTOOO!!!!”

*Kou runs across the room screaming Gato’s name*

Zach: “Cagalli all these space dicks are spacists, I have to leave.”

Cagalli: “Ah, god dammit, seriously you guys? You couldn’t just be cool, three guys in their 20’s can’t hold it together for like two days?”

*The door opens up*

Shiro: “What’s up, bitches.”

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