Do you know what we as Indians want ? We would love it, if we could somehow take out the corruption of our system, put it in a huge, big box somehow, and then set it on fire, or simply bomb it.Just a few seconds, and the entire country worth of corruption is weeded out. The only problem to this Rohit Shetty-esque political situation is that unfortunately this process of detoxifying our country of its sins will take time, and time is something that Gen-next doesn’t have.

A new kid came into existence, and like traditional Indian parents he was scrutinized from the word go, with everyone putting unreal expectation, and constantly scrutinizing every little move. Here’s my version of why Mr. Kejriwal will fail, and how you and me, are responsible

1. Because Indians believe in Magic.

Indians are a little impatient. We want you to hit sixes from the first ball in T20, doing anything less means you aren’t fit as a player. Similarly, its only obvious that you need to get 700 litres of free water, issue audits of every other company, file cases against corruption by BJP and Congress, and complete 40 other manifesto points in as much time as it takes to travel India’s span in a train.Mind you, you have to do this while your Biwi and Maa-ji, are having an argument at your house about who got better coverage in AAJ TAK, So after you are done with your office work, you are to come backand sort out brother-sister fights , and of course all of this while the nation wants to know (Yes, I am Arnab Goswami?, whatever game me away?) why the entire manifesto for their entire term isn’t getting completed in a week. I am sure, if Gaziabad were any closer to his Delhi office, he would have completed 3-4 more of his manifesto points, maybe they ought to get a better road made between the two places.

Q: What do we do when an MLA comes out with allegations against his own party?

A: We forget about everything, and instead trust in Mr. Binni. 🙂

2. Because everyone is an economic expert

Indians (the whole 1.3 billion of them) have some defining characteristics such as having a flair for cricket, being a Salman Khan fan and wanting their sons to be IITians. Of late, if you read Internet posts, you will find an insurmountable number of unemployed Economists too. Their knack for knowing everything is so developed that they can simply look at Arvind Kekriwal and predict that his policies will cause fiscal deficits and his smile will cause inflation, and take us back to Pre-1991 reforms. And all of the BJP workers know this because of the special session where BJP workers are given special courses in Economic policies of the world. They attend these classes right after their Anti-Islam classes. And the congress, well, it no longer deserves a mention in anything, its a completely lost cause. And come on! any normal person will tell you that it inly takes about 4 hours to reduce inflation and about 2-3 days to get rid of Current account deficits. I know his, well this comic may give you a better idea about that. 😛

3. Because we firmly believe in don’t live, and don’t let live.

There were scams, there were Ghotalas, and then there some more scams. You felt angry, as did I, and so did all our jaan-pehchaan waale uncle and aunties.We talked, you talked, and when we felt really motivated to do something , we took a deep breath, held our heads high ,and with pride, we -urm…-updated our FB statuses! telling the world how we were disappointing with the government.

Then came along AAP which sought to do something rather sit and watch and curse. But this time, as soon as they gave us a solution for all of our miseries we suddenly got cold feet. An organisation that wanted to set things right ? As in, a party which may finally give us a solution to our problems ? WHOA! Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves! We don’t want to put in a situation where we have no one to blame for our own shortcomings! Let’s just sit, and crib again! This time let’s judge the solution for not being able to live up to the expectation of supremely idealistic.

We need an Arvind Kejriwal, who sleeps for 4 hours, goes to his office in a cycle(which somehow runs on petrol, so that he knows how expensive it is), then work their for 12 hours, solve all of Delhi’s problems, answer every question, while you and I can sit in front of our computers and judge them for taking a 5 room apartment, because let’s face it, wasting 500 crores on Rahul Gandhi’s PR campaign is fine, but 5 room flat ? No, that’s a criminal offense!

4. Because we are really really really mature: Given below is how easily the minds and hearts sway.

Day 1: I love Kejriwal.

Day 2: I hate Kejriwal, he’s a Congress agent

Day 3: I love Keriwal, he gave free water!

Day 4 : I hate Kejriwal, he took Govt cars,

Day 5 : I love Kejriwal, he came out with a anti-corruption number.

Day 6: Who Kejriwal? Politics? No, There’s a India-New Zealand match on right now !

I rest my case.

5. Because Indian Media is all about the truth.

If Indian channels really had their way they would nearly convince us about anything. And for some reason majority of us are convinced that the biggest and most truthful source of information is the media. And just in case you weren’t convinced, they will bring in speakers from different parties, ask them stupid questions, and interpret vague summaries, throw in some masala words, and end with a patriotic message. Then there are these journalists articles in which somehow the author knows exactly what is wrong with India, and how everything in India can be set right.!

Its as though the NEWS channels have this inane ability of reducing our collective IQ levels to par monkey. You say anything loudly enough, and it has to become the truth. Also, who exactly gave them the authority to speak on behalf of India? “India wants to know…”, how does he know what India wants to know ? we are a billion people, we ourselves don’t know what we want to know, and you know what we want to know ? Argh!

This post will only be read by a very few handful of people. The views i express in this article are only mine, and I can safely say, you will easy pick holes in it. Nevertheless, I simply ask, is it so important to decide today ? Can we for the benefit of our own selves, please mature a little ?

Is it so important to either love or hate AAP ? Can’t we just simply let them do their job first ? I like Narendra Modi, does that essentially mean I have to hate Arvind Kejriwal ? Why can’t I like them both ? Why do we have to stoop to a level where the only way to get votes is to crib about the other party ? Why put unreal expectations on someone ? Why not give time ? WHY ?

I know Lok Sabha 2014 was to be a Salman Khan(read. Narendra Modi?) film, and then post interval entered Ranveer Singh(Arvind Kejriwal?) trying to snatch all the lime light and glory. So let’s discuss, let’s speculate, because does it really matter what the climax has in store?

“Bhrahshtachaar nahi harega, par galti AAP ki nahi, aap ki hai“