Fort Lauderdale, FL – A meeting originally scheduled to discuss next year’s roadmap initiatives at Quazivu instead found itself almost immediately derailed into a broad discussion of the plot, characters, and takeaways from the Netflix drama, Ozark. The conversation was kicked off by an off-hand comment by meeting organizer Candace Stokes about how she “would rather get electrocuted in a boat outside some hillbilly lake house than try to figure out a roadmap for (their) failing business model”. Almost immediately, the rest of the meeting attendees discussed which of the deaths in Jason Bateman’s hit show they would rather endure than waste their time brainstorming useless solutions for a dying company.

“There was a lot of energy in the room today, way more than usual,” said Eli Murphy, product manager. “Just a lot of great insight, some good theories, and probably the best synergy we’ve had this year. I could really tell we were all on the same page when everyone unanimously agreed that Ruth, the strip club manager, may be tough on the outside, but inside, she’s got a good heart.”

However, there were some moments of frustration within the group when Natalie Fox said that while Ozark is entertaining, its style is a clear derivative of Breaking Bad.

“Look, it’s pretty obvious that they’re following Breaking Bad’s formula,” Fox argued. “Both shows star an actor that’s done nothing as dark as either show, both main protagonists are anti-heroes, both start off with motives based around protecting their family, and both shows have written the protagonist’s wife into being a terrible, completely unlikeable character.

“If you can’t see that Ozark is totally trying to emulate Breaking Bad, it’s no wonder we’re burning through two million dollars each quarter.”

The next roadmap meeting has been postponed indefinitely until the group has had a chance to watch Ozark’s second season.