I won’t ever win a humility contest. I don’t know if they have those, giving someone an award for being humble, probably defeats the purpose of humility. If they do though, please do not bet on me, I won’t even get an honorable mention.

I struggle with ego.

I recently realized it was my ego not my discipline driving my decision to blog daily.

So I wrote about the 3 signs your ego is making your decisions and I prayed about it.

I prayed that God would help me not be so entitled. That he would help me be humble. That he would help me learn humility.

And then a tiny voice inside said, “Do I have the freedom to teach you that in any way I deem best?”

I don’t know if that was God. There were no fireworks or tambourines, but I was convicted because I realized the answer was “no.”

I would prefer that God teaches me how to be humble through moments that are not humbling. I want to learn humility but not in ways that are unpleasant at all. I want to learn generosity but without that whole hassle of actually giving anyone anything.

I want growth without discomfort, but that’s not how it works. Growth is always uncomfortable.

So this morning I laughed with God. And admitted my secret desires to him that were not so secret anyway. I remembered Garth Brooks and his song about how some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. I remembered that God doesn’t answer prayer my way, he answers it his way which turns out is always better.