Mr. Insemination has recently made the kind decision to release a Dracu-Riot! patch to appease an agitated public, and thus, all the game but 50% of the Miu route is translated under the name of Staircase Subs.

However, I’ve found myself overcome with a certain fear in my heart, one in which a reader’s erection diminishes mid-H-scene at the appalling sight of unwelcome moonrunes, leaving him with a lethal case of blue testicles―something of that nature, anyway.

So, in order to satisfy the general population in more ways than one, we’ve endeavored to bring this project to completion, both in translation and in several other regards which you may find enumerated below.

The only difficulty is that I (Fiddle) will be too busy in the near future to work through this iniquitous 10% of remaining game text. Fortunately, Mr. Nosebleed of the website-less group Tiny Lily announced and maintained a promise to finish off the game should Insemination hold true to his word, and lo! his words came to haunt him. Thus, we got in contact with Nosebleed and formed a partnership between The Oxford Comma is Superior Subs and Tiny Lily to assume this noble burden.

While Nosebleed will cover the translation of the remaining ~4,000 lines, we will:

Cover all hacking aspects of the game—in fact, we’ve already worked on this in-depth (with assistance from Lord binaryfail), such that all of our capabilities are basically on the table.

Do all image editing, with a comprehensiveness equal to that of Noble☆Works.

Translate menus and such.

Create in-game translation notes, like those that appear in Noble☆Works.

Release a patch for both the retail version and downloadable version; the current patch only applies to the retail version, which is quite difficult to acquire legally.

Edit the entirety of the game. If I read Insemination’s assessment of the patch correctly, it seems that there wasn’t enough time to have the game proofread and edited and such.

Americanizing the writing style, on the topic of the previous point.

Translation checking.*

So when shall we release this patch? Well, Mr. presumptuous readers, we intend to release not one patch, but two or even more than two, which brings us to Mr. asterisk*. The first patch will contain everything we listed above, with the exception of all-around translation checking; in short, it will be 100% complete except for the fact that it will remain in the state to which Staircase Subs’ unfortunate shortage of time and resources subjected it. Then, due to a subsequent increase in free time, we will be able to conduct some translation checking. We may release a second and final translation-checked patch, or release successive ones with increasing partial progress.

Oh, I didn’t answer the question. To give a quite rough but relatively safe estimate, let’s say this first patch will arrive in about two months. The translation-checked patch(es) will come some months thereafter.

Also, we shall bring a Communist-red overhaul to this website’s appearance in the not-so-distant future.

(An earlier version of this story neglected the exclamation point in Dracu-Riot! Because we are not plebs, we intend to include this punctuation in all cases, just as we did with the star in Noble☆Works.)