The Cubs have been a mess for a while, so expectations have been a bit...lowered, let's say. To that end, the Daily Herald decided to take a page from Theo Epstein's "parallel-track" outlook for remaining competitive (woops!) in 2012 while also building for the future and run with it for a "mid-season grades" column.


Simultaneously, in the real world of news, there was an actual train wreck in the Chicago-land area, featured on the front page. So, on one track the sports page is making a train wreck out of a story about a metaphorical train wreck while on another track, the news is reporting an actual train wreck. It's like parallelism within parallelism. Which is kind of like—[disappears into endless void of space].

h/t P.J.