An Open Letter to LulzSec

Greetings, Gentlemen.

The Game of Lulz is one i'm familiar with. I've been on the Internets for a long time, trolling and owning, defacing and DDoSing. You might say we share a kinship in being bastards without names. So when I say I understand why you do what you do, please believe me, as years ago I might have been a member of your cabal.

A funny thing happened years ago. I stopped caring. None of the shit I used to play with was fun anymore. Toying with peons and watching them struggle to research for an almost-due term paper or trying to explain dirty pictures sent to an estranged family member suddenly gave me no pleasure. I couldn't even find the motivation to look for new forms of lulz. I just...

Now i'm a different person. I know for a fact that if I could find now the person I was, i'd beat the shit out of him. Not because what he did was wrong, but because he wasted so much of my life. Now i'm enjoying the world in the ways I know it was intended for me. I'm doing things which give me a sense of fulfillment, meeting people and going places and learning things which aren't just lulzy but meaningful. I know it sounds pretty faggy but there's something I think you're missing.

You've pwned my gaming. That's fine, i'll hang out with my friends in person. You've pwned my chattes. Ok, i'll just talk to them less frequently on AIM. It's not really making me mad, bro. It would have years ago. It probably would have inspired me to some nerdrage of epic proportions. But thankfully i'm not that nerdy anymore.

Maybe what you're doing will have a positive effect in some weird twisted way. I hope something positive comes out of all of it for your own sakes. But regardless of how epic or lulzy your actions may be, they need to be reigned in. Not for my sake, or even for the sake of all the innocent newbs you inconvenience.

Are you looking to get partyvan'd? You know it'll happen eventually, so I just assume that's your end goal. Kind of like the hackers of old who were looking for thrills in the digital landscape. Kind of like Barret Brown, addicted to heroin, not really giving a shit where his life goes. If you really want to end up pwnd by the pigs, this is the way to go. But you don't have to go there. You can still have really fucking good times, lulz, adventure on the high seas of LIFE. You just have to get off that puter your mommy bought you for christmas and find something to do with your life.

Another thing i'd like to mention - most of these hacks? Kid stuff. Any newfag with metasploit and a fuzzer can trawl shitty sites and work their way inside. If you want a truly righteous hack, go after something which would fuck over The System, not just retards sitting in their undies playing Call of Duty. Stopping kids from playing games? Not lulzy. Stopping the most powerful people in the world from communicating? THAT would be lulzy. And for Allah's sake stop bragging about DDoS's. My little brother has a botnet.