Archbishop makes one of strongest interventions yet on issue that lies at heart of some of deepest divisions in church

Christians need to confront feelings of embarrassment, shame and disgust over homosexuality, the archbishop of Canterbury has said.

In one of his strongest interventions yet on an issue that lies at the heart of some of the deepest divisions in the church he leads, Dr Rowan Williams said the church was still "scratching its head" about its position on same-sex marriage.

He was speaking at an event involving Christian teenagers at Lambeth Palace, his official residence in London, which was entitled "Help, my friends think I'm mad" and where some of the discussion focused on how Anglicanism was viewed from without.

Dr Williams also turned to the question of women bishops, which is due to be considered by the Church of England's general synod next week, saying it was another issue that gave the impression that sex was "the only thing the church is interested in".

The Daily Telegraph reported him as saying: "Same with same-sex marriage, where once more we're used to being alongside people who are gay; many of our friends may be – indeed we may be – wrestling with that issue ourselves, and the church is scratching its head and trying to work out where it is on all that, and what to think about it.

"What's frustrating is that we still have Christian people whose feelings about it are so strong, and sometimes so embarrassed and ashamed and disgusted, that that just sends out a message of unwelcome, of lack of understanding, of lack of patience.

"So whatever we think about it, we need, as a church, to be tackling what we feel about it."

The archbishop's comments come after the Church of England was criticised this month by gay rights campaigners for delivering an uncompromising warning to the government against pressing ahead with a controversial proposal to legalise gay marriage.

Introducing same-sex marriage could lead to the church being forced out of its role of conducting weddings on behalf of the state, the church claimed in a submission in response to the government's consultation on gay marriage.

The National Secular Society on Tuesday published a legal opinion it obtained in response to the church's submission. The opinion, which has been written by barrister and human rights expert Dr Ronan McCrea and sent to equalities minister Lynne Featherstone, said the church's failure to distinguish between social, religious and legal institutions of marriage "confuses the issues".

McCrea also takes issue with the claim that a challenge to the prohibition on religious bodies performing same sex marriages may be successfully challenged in the European Court of Human Rights.