The Family Court, Preponderance Of The Evidence, and Domestic Violence Game. Learn How To Play!

At the risk of teaching the few remaining people on the planet how to play the family court, domestic violence, and preponderance of the evidence game successfully, we wanted to give you some insights on how things are played and show you why nobody within the court system and legislature is clamoring to fix things even though when you email them they are all to familiar with the problems. If you are a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, or another member of a non-custodial family and you have lost access to your young loved one’s, the information in this article is why.



If you are reading this document just to learn how to win full legal and physical custody of a child in any U.S. State and not spend any money, SIMPLY CLICK HERE.

In this article, we are going to be very hard on lawyers, legislators, and Judges, but we do want to acknowledge a select few who are actually opposed to our current system and speak out when they can, but it is important to note that these lawyers and some Judges run the risk of being ostracized and alienated within their own industry for speaking out.

There are actually some good Judges and lawyers in North Carolina who understand this game well, and how it is causing chaos in children and families.

Please consider using our comment system at the end of this article to leave an exhaustive comment about your case in the Family Court system, if it involved Domestic Violence, and how Preponderance of the Evidence was used to make a ruling that did not happen the way the complainant alleged it happened. Also, if you comment, please let us know that city you are from and which County/Parish Family Court you were in (ie. Columbia County SC Family Court)

It is also important to note that many of the laws in place that impact the domestic courts and family courts were created by lobby groups and legislators for good purposes, it is people who have found a way to pervert the laws and use them for ill will. The reason that the courts and lobby groups who represent lawyers and Judges do not fix the problem is that it is just too lucrative to keep the status quo.

First and foremost, there is nothing about our current family law system that is about the best interest of children. Creating a system that encourages two parents to battle for 18 years and each needing the other to be the antichrist is having a devastating impact on our children and people in our state.

We believe that if the courts were setup as a STARTING POINT of equal parentage and equal time, and Judges demanded that parents work together and then start taking away visitation and time as people refused to work with the other parent and for the child, we would have an incentive based system for parents not to battle and actually work together.

Under our current system, one parent who just automatically loses, while the other parent wins, sets off the 18 year battle and game. This starts the process of Mom needing Dad to make a mistake, critiques everything, sets him up, and makes allegations daily because she needs to remain the custodial parent and needs to prevent him from gaining any ground.

Conversely, I have no doubt this happens when fathers have custody and you really can’t blame either parent for playing the game they are FORCED to play in the system.

But be sure, as the game is played, billions of dollars annually are pumped in to the hands of lawyers, psychologist, law enforcement, and other industries.

It is important to note that NC Fathers is NOT a law firm, nor is anyone associated with us a lawyer. All information you read in this document is for informational purposes only.

This concept is the hardest fact to get across to folks who come to us asking how this happened, or wanting to know how he/she could get away with this. It just can’t be legal! Oh but it is.

Our family courts and domestic courts operate under a burden of proof model called “preponderance of the evidence” unlike our criminal courts which operate under either “clear and convincing” or “until proven guilty.”

Under preponderance of the evidence, a Judge needs only 51% information in his/her hands to say that the LIKELIHOOD of either an allegation or some other claim happened to make a judgement. Under preponderance of the evidence, you do NOT need evidence against you to lose in the family courts, and nobody has to prove anything for you to lose. If a Judge FEELS like it happened, it happened and nobody needs to prove it.

This opens the door for bias and ideologies.

Because we have a system where one parent HAS to lose custody and one parent HAS to win custody, people have learned to use false allegations to smear the other parent and hope that they make an impact. The lawyers love false allegations because it starts a billing cycle. Psychologist love false allegations because it means they can bill for assessment and therapy. Lobby groups love false allegations because they compile numbers to present to Congress to appeal for more and more money. NC DSS loves false allegations because it keeps them employed and getting federal money (See Title IV-D below).

At this point we have a family court and domestic court system that is based on an arena where one parent will lose, and one parent will win. Each parent needs the other parent to be responsible for the plague so that he/she can win. We have developed a system where neither parent needs evidence to PROVE the other party did something, and we have a system where the courts do not punish one parent for using a false allegation in order to win.

Why in the world would Judges punish a false allegation and let it be known that you can’t do that when that claim initiates billable court actions. Lawyers across the county would be up in arms!

To make matters worse, Judges, magistrates, and law enforcement in NC operate under the “It’s best to be safe than sorry principle” when likely it’s more just using this principle so that they can get more litigants in to the billable hours system. But, for the sake of this article let’s go with “It’s best to be safe than sorry principle” and show you how everything comes together.

Many of you will recognize this game. In our example we are going to take gender out of the equation because while it may be hard to see it, every gender in the family courts suffers WHEN you take in to consideration the extended families who love their grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and step-siblings.

Ready to play the game? This is how to win full legal custody of a child and force the other parent (and family) in to submission and out of a child’s life using the NC courts own rules. Let’s get started…

The starting point can vary and usually happens like this:

1. One parent has decided to divorce and has planned for months, then decides it is time to leave and does so with children in tow. That parent can move anywhere in the country or world legally with the children and not communicate his/her whereabouts if there is no court order. This costs exactly $0.

The other parent is then forced in to the system at the STARTING COST of $5000 to hire a lawyer to find the other parent and children. Don’t have $5000? Then you never see your kids again, and nor does your extended family.



If you do not find the money within 6 months, then the other parent has established residency in another country or state, and has also gotten the child in school and established CONSISTENCY. Now, one parent is burdened with traveling abroad or across country to hire an attorney and lord knows we know that you can attend 40 hearing before a final action is taken. Can you imagine traveling to California from NC 40 times? Our legislators, lawyers, and judges simply do not care, as long as money is exchanging hands. Can you imagine what visitation looks like between NC and California? You are effectively done.

Now, if you are lucky enough to find the other parent and you have $5000, the minute the other parent is served, there will be an immediate allegation of child abuse, spousal abuse, or sexual sexual abuse. It is every divorce attorney’s favorite go to weapon and it works because remember under preponderance of the evidence you need NO evidence, witnesses, or proof to make a claim, a Judge only needs 51% likelihood to say it happened, and there is no penalty to make a false claim.

Once the claim is made, you are not seeing your children and there will be an automatic restraining order placed on you. Again here no evidence is needed, and magistrates and judges hand them out like candy on the “It’s best to be safe than sorry” principle to cover themselves politically (or look good politically).

In this country, once you are alleged to be a child abuser or spousal abuser, a Judge is then in a politically bad position. He or she only needs 51% likelihood to send you down the river in the first place, and it is not a good political gamble to take a chance on the accused when children are involved.

It just to easy politically to cut you out of the child’s life.

2. If one parent decides that it is time to leave a marriage or relationship and decides not to leave the house, the other parent WILL be leaving and this too is thanks to our “It’s best to be safe than sorry” system and preponderance of the evidence.

It is important to remember that lawyers groups and others have successfully lobbied Congress to lower the definition of Domestic VIOLENCE down to emotional levels. Domestic Violence as defined by the NC Bar Association today is:

Let’s take a close look at “Continued harassment can constitute domestic violence if it causes substantial emotional distress” because this is where they get you. What does “emotional distress” look and feel like? How is it quantified and qualified? It is about as subjective as it gets. If I know that all I need is me getting emotional over a loud argument I helped create and engaged in to make him/her an abuser in public and can win immediate custody and maintain status of all community property, you bet I am going to jump all over that!

Hello, 911?

With this in mind, when one parent knowing he/she wants to leave a marriage and is ready to make it happen, he/she engages the other parent in a dispute, it gets loud, the neighbors hear it, the kids hear it, doors are slammed, fingers pointed, threats to leave, or “I’m going to take the kids from you and you will never see them again” and under our current laws it is Domestic Violence. There DOES NOT have to be actual battery or assault. There are millions of parents and grandparents who will never see their kids again because one parent is a domestic violence offender because she/he participated in a loud dispute where the other person got emotional and was simply unlucky enough not to be the one to call 911.

It is hard to imagine ANY marriage today not having domestic violence in it and we think many Judges, lawyers, psychologist, court reporters, DSS officials, law enforcement LOVES IT because it triggers billable hours and federal money.

The first parent who hears “911, what is your emergency” is going to be the one who wins. The other parent is now going to jail and lose a job either via the police or magistrate under “It’s best to be safe than sorry” and you have a 50/50 chance of being adjudicated guilty without any marks, witnesses, or evidence. And in today’s politically correct system, it is best for a Judge to send you down the river. It is important to remember that most Judges and their spouses for political reasons sit on Domestic Violence boards, so it’s not surprising to see all of those with allegations adjudicated guilty at least in the civil court sense.

Once the allegation is made, ONLY the allegation, you are jailed, lose a job, have to find new housing even if you can’t get to your bank account, you are on the hook for criminal charges and now hiring a lawyer for the family courts. Can’t get the money? Say good bye to your children because you are not seeing them again.

No evidence, no witnesses, no proof, a politically correct Judge under the gun, and salivating lawyers wanting money and you, the grandparents, the aunts and uncles, and other family members are never seeing your children again until they are 18.

There is another animal involved in this wheel and that is the State of North Carolina (all U.S. States) who scrambles each year to find money for budgets. The State, as are all states, need federal dollars to run services. Without a doubt the single largest influx of federal dollars coming in to all U.S. States is from the Title IV-D system that keeps social services afloat. The trigger for the money? A parent who is not an equal parent, but a parent who is court ordered out of their kid’s lives so they pay child support and the greater amount please because we get more federal money against the more we collect.

less time spent with you kids = more child support collected = more Title IV-D money for NC

Sorry kid, you can’t see your mom/dad, we got money to collect. And the other parent is fine because they get child support, and access to all the wonderful social services benefits if needed (or dependent on).

At this point, one really needs to ask the question. Why end Domestic Violence when it generates so much money for many industries? Why create a equal system when it creates so much money for lawyers when two parents battle like gladiators? Depressed and suicidal kids? Awesome, let’s get them in to court appointed counseling and bill. Oh, you are in jail based just on an allegation that doesn’t need to be proven? That’s OK, we are getting federal Domestic Violence money that is more than what it costs to keep you here.

Our system has LITERALLY monetized Domestic Violence. There is No desire to end Domestic Violence.

While I am sure it makes the public feel good, and no doubt the alleged victim loves it, the only thing we do with domestic violence offenders is put them in jail to further harden them, immediately take away their kids, force them out of employment, and ostracize them in society. And after release, we expect them to be model citizens? The state, nor social services, nor the family court cares about this because the likelihood of re-offending is now greater upon release which is good for lawyers billing schedule and lobbyist who are keeping statistics and fund raising.

As for the lobby groups, you are an awesome new statistic they can put on paper as they walk to Congress and shed a tear at to get new federal money to pretend to want to fix an issue that really makes them RICH!

And, nobody in Raleigh gives a damn because the lobby groups that control this wheel would eat them for lunch!

If you want to learn how all of this works, SIMPLY CLICK HERE.

HOW TO WIN FULL LEGAL AND PHYSICAL CUSTODY OF A CHILD IN ANY U.S. STATE WITH NO MONEY

So, how do you win the Family Court game? It’s easy. 1) If there is no court order, leave the house and go to another country or state and hide out for 6 months. 2) Get emotional, call 911, say “I’m scared” and don’t worry about needing evidence.