PRINCETON, NJ—In the most comprehensive research of its kind, a new study released Monday by Princeton University found no long-term health benefits. “Flying in the face of conventional wisdom, our results clearly show no lasting positive impact on overall health,” said lead author Michelle Kessler, adding that the data also clearly points toward no enduring improvement in longevity, stamina, or the ability to sleep. “In fact, across all demographic groups, we not only discovered no sustained increase in overall wellness, but also indications that the adverse effects may in fact greatly outweigh the advantages.” Kessler went on to say that even the short-term benefits might be wildly exaggerated themselves.

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