Trump Looks to Roll Back Regulations on Finance, Incest, the Environment

Pressing the most aggressive campaign against federal regulation in a generation, President Trump is working swiftly to eliminate rules that restrict everything from risky business practices on Wall Street to incest and environmental pollution.

Calling the rollbacks important to stimulating new economic growth, administration officials have characterized regulations such as the Dodd-Frank Act, the Federal Criminal Incest Statute and the Clean Power Plan as stifling towards business.

"Overregulation has stemmed economic growth and job creation," White House press secretary Sean Spicer recently told reporters.

Still, both the scope and pace of the cuts have alarmed labor unions, scientists and environmental activists alike, all of whom say they fear the negative impacts of deregulation on public safety and society as a whole.

"Wait a second. Did they just say they want to legalize incest?" one geneticist remarked.

Already, measures loosening laws on waste-mining companies, having sex with your daughter and financial disclosure requirements on oil firms have cleared the Senate and are on their way to the White House for the president's signature.

"I bigly look forward to signing them all," Trump remarked of the cuts. "Bigly, bigly."