Intimate it is not. Subtle it is not. The music blares, the neon flashes, the flames dart from woks and the fat sizzles on grills. A squad of chefs rustle up dish after dish after dish and hundreds of diners pile their plates with food intended to reflect every nook and cranny of the globe.

Welcome to Za Za Bazaar, a restaurant so big that a map is provided in case baffled guests lose their bearings.

This vast eatery on Bristol's Harbourside is being billed as Britain's largest, eclipsing even the huge Cosmo in Croydon, south London, which seats 800.

Here they cater for 700 covers upstairs in the main restaurant, which is designed to have the look and feel of a "buzzing oriental night market".

There is a room for another 300 diners in the bar downstairs, taking the number who can eat here at one time to the 1,000 mark. They reckon up to 2,100 diners daily will be paying between £6.99 and £15.99 — depending on what day and what time they pile in — to eat as much as they can or care to.

The numbers are dizzying, if not a little sickly. Za Za will serve up 60kg of pasta and a whole lorry-load of vegetables every day. It will get through — and vegetarians might want to look away now — more than 60 chickens each day and anticipates 1,000kg of beef will be consumed every week.

Its biggest fridge is 400 sq ft and on a Saturday night 8,000 dishes will be washed up and more than 100 staff will be on duty. Food from all continents is represented, much of it laid out as a buffet and some of it, such as pizza, dosa and fajitas, cooked fresh. You can drink beer from Peru, pear cider from Sweden, cocktails from the Far East. They even have an Antarctica section in the drinks menu — Strawberry Freeze is represents the frozen south.

So, the numbers are impressive but is the food any good? Bristol's dignitaries (and a gang of 20 food critics) are about to find out when after a day of strikes and marches and talk of austerity they will be invited to sate their appetites at a grand civic opening. The sizeable doors will be thrown open to the public for the first time on Thursday 1 December. But the Guardian was afforded a sneak preview at an invitation-only test event with a mere 500 other diners.

Financial services workers Ed Kingston and Russell Wright, were happily munching their way around Za Za's vision of the world. Ed's tactic? "Eat as much as you can and then eat some more."

He had worked through three of the six counters — Indian, European and Tex-Mex — and was heading for the Far East next. His favourite so far? The "huge ribs" on the Tex-Mex counter. Russell loved the piri piri chicken on the European station (where "GB classics" fish and chips, shepherd's pie and, somewhat controversially, Irish stew were also available). "As good as Nando's" was his verdict on the chicken. Meant as a compliment.

Diners are advised against mixing flavours and were told they could visit the counters as often as they liked. But many did not seem able to resist piling seafood and meat on to the same plate.

There were some odd combinations. Curries ran in into slices of pizza. Mushy peas rubbed up against Peking duck pancakes. Many people were nibbling before they got back to their seats.

The concept seemed to work well for families. Two-year-old Reuben Hemburrow was, with the help of his mum and dad, tucking into a plate of pasta, couscous and (his favourite) Thai fish cakes.

"He's really enjoying himself," said mother Claire, herself tackling a plate of sushi and prawns with chilli dressing. "I'm not so sure about the quality of the food. It's more about the experience, I suppose, the night out rather than the food." Her husband Nick would not like to be here on a busy Saturday night. "I dread to think what it would be like if lots of people are drinking."

But it is undoubtedly great value for children. Under-fives eat for free, while it's half price for five to 11-year-olds. Lilani, eight, had just polished off a plate of pasta with tomato sauce and was now tackling a hot dog. "I like it. There are lots of things to try and it's so big you're bound to bump into a friend," she said, racing through her meal so that she can get to the dessert counter — ice cream, chocolate fountain, huge tubes of brightly-coloured sweets — as quickly as possible.

Her mother, Navina Bartlett, was not so enthusiastic. She was not impressed with the crispy pork in capital sauce she had taken from the Far East counter. "It is not a place for a foodie, is it? The quality just can't be there if you are mass-producing so much. Street food is all the rage at the moment but this just isn't authentic."

Navina does have a vested interest. She is a member of the StrEAT Food Collective, a group of vendors who really do cook and sell on a street rather than in a cavernous waterside building.

She fears is that this sort of monster restaurant could put pressure on beloved institutions like St Nicholas Market — a five minute walk away from Za Za Bazaar and crammed with wonderful food stalls and cafes. And the Falafel King take-away van, another Bristol favourite on the waterfront, suddenly looks a little bit exposed.

"Lots of independent traders around here may struggle to compete with something like this. The scale of it is just frightening," said Navina.

And those behind Za Za, an independent group fronted by executive chef Nitin Bhatnagar are not confining their ambitions to Bristol. They are planning another seven "super-restaurants" across the UK, an investment of £10m that they say could create 1,000 jobs in the next 18 months.

The Guardian's initial verdict? Fine if you're in a brash, austerity-busting party mood. Steer clear if you're looking for a quiet, intimate night out or trying to teach children about frugality.