But h e has been prompted to 'out himself' following colleagues' remarks

His wife and close friends are only people who know he is homosexual

The married man has served in the armed forces for nearly 20 years

In an interview with the Mail on Sunday the general takes issue with the Arm's claim that gay and lesbian soldiers no longer face discrimination (image posed by model)

A British Army general who is secretly gay plans to reveal his sexuality after being angered by a colleague’s warning that such an admission would amount to career suicide.

In an interview with The Mail on Sunday, the general – who is married with children – takes issue with the Army’s insistence that gay and lesbian soldiers no longer face discrimination.

He said: ‘The Armed Forces cannot claim it is an equal opportunities employer when the view persists that any senior officer who announces he is gay will see his or her career go up in smoke.’

A veteran of wars in Iraq and Afghanistan with nearly 30 years’ service, he is the most senior officer to admit he is gay, and the first British Army general to do so.

In observations that will dismay the Ministry of Defence, which has made great strides in improving the Army’s image, he said homophobic bullying and abuse are still common.

And he makes the damaging claim that ‘it would be very difficult for a homosexual senior officer to serve in some Army units’.

Throughout his career, he has kept the truth about his sexuality secret from all but a ‘handful of very close friends’.

He told his wife some years ago and ‘after a great deal of soul searching’ they decided to stay together. ‘We love each other deeply,’ he said.

‘I never considered outing myself until another very senior officer said he believed that admission of homosexuality by a senior officer would be career suicide,’ he said.

‘I actually felt like saying, “Actually I’m gay and it has never prevented me from serving Queen and country”.

‘I was furious, but in the end I let the comment pass. But over the last few weeks, I actually started to ask myself whether the time had come for someone of my rank to speak out and to say that you can serve your country at the highest levels of the Armed Forces as a gay man or woman.’

The general says he is part of a ‘small number of senior officers in the Army, RAF and Royal Navy who have decided to keep their sexuality secret because of the potential impact it might have on their career’.

He added: ‘It might come as a shock to some people but there have been and there are gay members of the SAS. I have met them.

‘Gay soldiers won medals in Iraq and Afghanistan. And yes, there have probably been many gay generals over the years.’

Since officers of his rank usually require ministerial approval before speaking to the press, his interview with The Mail on Sunday was conducted on condition of anonymity.

After consulting his family and friends, he says he will make a final decision on whether to openly declare his sexuality in the next few weeks.

He recalled that when he joined the Army, homosexuality was regarded as a ‘perversion’. For years, he struggled with his sexual identity and only accepted he was gay in his mid-30s. ‘By that time, I was married and had a family,’ he said.

There are gay members of the SAS... I've met them

Over the years he has often been described as a model officer. ‘I have served in two Iraq wars, Afghanistan, Bosnia and Northern Ireland and my sexuality has never impacted on my professional ability.’

Even now, he says he is ‘fitter and faster than many men ten years younger’. He added: ‘I have never had a sexual relationship with another serviceman. That part of my life has always been separate and effectively secret.

‘I do not fit the sitcom “camp”, gay stereotype. I do not attend gay clubs, or look at gay pornography.’

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Battle hardened: The general led troops like these in Afghanistan during his 30-year-career in the Army

It is rare for a senior officer in any Nato army to declare their sexuality. The US Army, which is five times the size of Britain’s, has only one gay senior officer, General Tammy Smith. She married her partner in 2012.

The MoD states that it is an equal opportunity employer and encourages gay, lesbian and transgender men and women to serve. Despite this stance, no senior officer, such as a general, admiral or air marshal, has publicly declared that they are gay.

Stonewall, the gay rights organisation, believes as many as eight per cent of Armed Forces personnel is gay, equating to up to 14,000 troops.

Before 2000, homosexuality was illegal in the Forces and gay men and women were ruthlessly investigated and outed by a special unit within the Special Investigations Branch of the Royal Military Police.

Suspects were arrested and interrogated, and those who confessed to being homosexual were discharged with a criminal record.

Today, however, especially among younger officers and soldiers, being gay is no longer an issue, although claims of bullying and discrimination still arise.

I told my wife and we have decided to stay together

Earlier this month, The Mail on Sunday revealed that the Queen’s Household Cavalry had been hit by claims that a gay soldier was bullied by a senior colleague over a number of years.

And in 2013 another Household Cavalry soldier, James Wharton, disclosed in his book Out In The Army, My Life As A Gay Soldier how Prince Harry once protected him from homophobic bullies.

Mr Wharton said last night: ‘Despite the enormous progress that’s been made, there is still homophobia, and if a general is saying that maybe the British Army isn’t quite as equality-driven as it likes to think then everyone should take that seriously.

‘It would be great for the British Army to have a general who is openly gay but it is not for me or anyone else to tell him what he should do.’

Servicemen and women are offered the opportunity of placing their sexuality on their personnel records, although it is not mandatory.

But sources say it is questionable whether the more conservative elements of the top brass have fully embraced the idea that gays have a role to play in the Armed Forces.

The general said: ‘There have been a few occasions in my career when I almost spoke out – usually after a few drinks with close friends either in the officers’ mess or a pub.

‘I wanted to say something like, “Look chaps, I’m gay. It’s no big deal but I thought you should know.” It was a conversation I had in my head many times. But the timing never seemed quite right.

‘I’m also a very private individual and I have a family who I care for me deeply and a wife I adore.’

For many years, he struggled to come to terms with his sexuality and hoped it ‘might be some form of mid-life crisis’. He said: ‘But those feelings did not go away. It was a very dark period of my life, there were moments when I questioned my whole existence. I came very close to the brink. I wasn’t suicidal but I was approaching that area.

In 2013 another Household Cavalry soldier, James Wharton, (above) disclosed in his book Out In The Army, My Life As A Gay Soldier how Prince Harry once protected him from homophobic bullies

‘I eventually summoned the courage to tell my wife some years ago. She knew that I had been unhappy for a considerable amount of time. It was obviously a shock and it did test our marriage.

‘I said I would give her a divorce if she wanted one but she refused.’

He added: ‘Any decision to speak out does not just affect me but also my wife, children and my close friends and so I will take some time and counsel from my closest friends before I act.’

Despite modernisation, the general said that ‘there are parts of the Army where I think even today that it would not be acceptable for an openly gay man to serve as a commanding officer, the infantry, artillery and the armoured corps being examples.

‘As far as I am aware, there have never been any openly gay commanding officers of infantry battalions. Is the Armed Forces ready to have a gay Parachute Regiment commanding officer, or Royal Marine or Guards commander? Could you have a gay Guards commander taking part in Trooping The Colour? Would the Establishment accept an openly gay commanding officer of the SAS?

‘The Forces claims to be an equal opportunities employer but it isn’t in my opinion and that’s what I find disappointing.

I'm delighted that Prince Harry helped a gay soldier

‘I am a very proud soldier and my working life has been dedicated to the Army. I also accept that the Army is not a perfect system. It has a lot of faults.

‘It is a human enterprise and as such it will suffer from human failings. I happily accept that and I am prepared to live with those failings.’

Referring to the military’s insistence that there is no longer discrimination, he said: ‘It would be far more accurate for the MoD to say, “We are doing our very best to get to the position where we can genuinely say we are an equal opportunities employer but we are not here yet.”

‘It’s not enough for an organisation to state that discrimination of any kind is unacceptable – you have to change the culture too.

‘In the US, the situation is very different. Colin Powell, a black soldier, rose to become the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs – the most senior officer in the world’s most powerful Army. We are a long way from that.’

In recent weeks, the MoD has placed stories in newspapers stating that being gay, lesbian or transgender in the Forces is no longer an issue.

In one interview, Captain Hannah Winterbourne, the highest ranking transgender officer in the Army, tells of her decision to have transgender surgery. But the general said: ‘The MoD needs to do more than just put one or two junior and middle-ranking officers up for interview and claim it’s all nice and rosy in the garden. There is still a lot of homophobic bullying and abuse.’

In one interview, Captain Hannah Winterbourne (above), the highest ranking transgender officer in the Army, tells of her decision to have transgender surgery

The general said that over the course of his career he has had many conversations with fellow officers about gay soldiers in the Army.

He would let others drive the conversation and would occasionally ‘lob’ in a few ideas just to see what the response was from his comrades.

He said: ‘Whenever the subject of homosexuality raised its head, I always insisted that a soldier’s sexuality should never be a hindrance to career promotion. It was a claim which rarely met with universal support.

‘Shortly after I joined the Army, when homosexuality was still a criminal offence in the Forces, I was told about a very experienced senior non-commissioned officer in a sister battalion who had a fearsome reputation.

‘He was a very capable northerner and was as hard as nails but was also gay – although that wasn’t the term used to describe his sexuality. I had thought that it was the usual barrack room banter until one day I heard that he had been “outed” by another soldier.

‘He was effectively made to resign. It was a horrendous situation but at least he left the Army without a criminal record.

‘There still is a view among some officers that homosexuality is damaging to the ethos of the Army. You will still hear people say you can’t have openly gay officers or things like “would you want to share a shower with a gay officer?”.

‘I think the younger generation of soldiers and officers is far more accepting of gay, lesbian and transgender service personnel.

‘They have grown up in a society where being gay is not an issue. But it will take many years to filter through to the senior levels of the Armed Forces.

‘I was delighted to read that Prince Harry received many plaudits for coming to the aid of a gay soldier who was being bullied by members of his troop.

‘The debate is being led by the junior members of the Forces and not those at the top. And that must change before the Armed Forces can say that it a truly equal opportunities employer.’

In a statement, an MoD spokesman, said: ‘The Army has worked tirelessly over the last 15 years to become more inclusive and is very proud to be recognised by Stonewall as a top 50 lesbian, gay and bisexual employer.