I think the question I dread the most lately is, “How’s co-op?”. Between my worsening mental health due to the lack of sunlight in winter months (a condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD) and my lack of enjoyment at work, my co-op term is turning into a real disappointment. I moved here from Calgary, Alberta, and while the winters back home are cold, Calgary is actually the sunniest city in Canada, with an average of 333 sunny days a year. By comparison, Waterloo averages 295 sunny days a year. It may sound like a small difference, but those 38 days make a huge difference to my mental health. On a cloudy day, I don’t feel like getting out of bed, I’m lethargic, and my depression gets worse. The opposite happens on a sunny day: I spring out of bed, I’m energized, and I feel less depressed.

Lately it seems all we’re having are cloudy days. I’ve noticed depression creeping in, like the shadows that appear and slowly get larger as the light fades. It doesn’t help that I find my co-op job monotonous, unchallenging, stifling, and perhaps the worst job I’ve ever had. My title is Junior Project Manager, and while that may sound exciting, all I end up doing is counting things. Day after endless day. Mindlessly counting footages of pipe and entering them into excel. Things get spiced up only when the old guy across from me asks me to type something for him.

While I’m glad I have a job, the monotony of it all makes me incredibly sad. What if all engineering jobs are like this? Why do all my friends appear so happy and successful, and I’m so miserable? Am I doomed to being perpetually bored and unchallenged, unable to exhibit the skills and knowledge I’ve spent $10,000 a term on?

I hate my job, and so I’ve started a list of things that bring me joy even in the darkest moments, when I want to quit so badly but know I’ve got to stick it out. Things like the guy next to me who punches his keyboard so hard when he types that it shakes my monitor 10 feet away. Fixing all the formulas in the excel spreadsheet without telling anyone. Trying to laugh at the absurdity and monotony of the things I’m asked to do. Being grateful I have something to do, because I had a job once where I wasn’t allowed to do anything, and that was arguably worse. Talking with my friends. Hanging out with my friends. Going to those co-op connection nights, even though they may sound kinda lame, even when the last thing I want to do is socialize. When I’m depressed or feeling bad, being around other friendly people who understand what I’m going through can brighten my mood and turn a bad day into an awesome one.

My advice is, if you’re feeling the same way I am, to stick it out, and do what makes you happy in your free time. Keep reaching out to people and try not to withdraw and shut yourself in. If you’re in Waterloo, go to some of the on-campus events. Never forget there are people who care about you! Talk to your other friends who are on co-op. Chances are, there’s someone else who’s not enjoying their co-op either. Swap stories. Laugh at the absurd. And be grateful it’s only four months.

One of the treatments out there for SAD is a SAD light, a bright (10,000 lux) light that mimics sunlight. If you think you may have SAD, talk to your doctor. AccessAbility Services (AAS) on campus will loan these out if you need them. If you are experiencing any kind of abuse at work, I would advise talking to your co-op advisor, boss or the company’s HR department to see what they recommend.