The most exciting rushing attempt in last night’s late Monday Night Football game did not come from the two butt teams playing, but from an Idiot On The Field who was left to run wild for well over a minute, making him the subject of a historically glorious radio call before he was tackled to the turf.



As it turns out, the Idiot in question was a 16-year-old named William, who told me he had always dreamed of running onto a field. Of course he did. And William was easy to track down because he had his phone number scrawled across his torso. Of course he did. Since then, he says “hella” people have called him.


I called William Tuesday afternoon while he was walking his dogs (he does his schooling online so he can work as a salesman, he said). He told me that he was at the game with his dad when he decided to run.

Why he did it:

“I like, wanted to do it for a long time and my friends dared me because I told them I was going to the game. Then they dared me to write my number on my chest. I did it and I thought it was pretty fun.”


Did his friends give him money for it?

“I did it for free because I’ve always wanted to do it because it looked fun.”



Was he drunk?

“No, I was sober.”



Who wrote his phone number on his chest?

“My sister knew I was gonna do it. She’s the one who wrote the number on my chest.”



What did he tell his dad?



“I told him I was gonna go to the bathroom. I said ‘I’ll be right back,’ then I just jumped and ran.”



How did he get onto the field?


“My actual seats were in section 221, but I was scouting the place prior and I saw that there was a security guy [in the 100s] who wasn’t checking tickets for people—he was just letting them go—so I just walked in. He didn’t ask for my ticket, and I went to the front row where there were two empty seats. I sat down for a minute and saw the security guard turn to talk to someone and thought, This is my moment. So I ran, I hopped the gate, and as soon as I put my foot over the gate I heard hella people screaming. When I fell it was only like a five-foot fall and I was hella scared, but it wasn’t that bad.”



What happened when he was on the field?

“I’m running around, being hella close to the players, but I was afraid they were gonna hit me. I was gonna give a high five to one, but then I was like, he can hit me. I just saw them standing, and yeah, I blew a kiss to one of them.”



Why did he meekly go down for security like Brett Favre allowing Michael Strahan his record-breaking sack?



“I thought they were gonna get me before I was even able to take off my shirt, so when I took it off I was like, Wow I am still going. Where are they? Then I saw one blue guy coming, and I didn’t want to get tasered, so I just stopped.”



What happened when security did catch him?


“They put me in cuffs and took me to the back, but because I’m a minor, they just looked for my dad and my dad picked me up.

They banned me for a year, but if I wanna go back I have to do a course online and write an apology letter to the stadium for breaking the rules.”


What did his dad say?



“I thought he was gonna be mad, but he said he was proud of me.”



Was he grounded?



“No. My parents thought it was too funny.”

Has he listened to Kevin Harlan’s call of his stunt?



“Yeah, I’ve heard it. I thought it was pretty funny, but he was saying, Oh he’s being chased, but I wasn’t being chased and he was just trying to spice things up a bit.”


How does he think the Niners are gonna play this season?



“I think they’re gonna suck this year.”



Does he have three very good dogs?



