Today has me ruminating on political culture, and the variety of friends in my life and community, and in particular, the nature of the divide between right and left.

I think that an enormous watershed issue between parties has to do with belief in, and exposure to, feminist principles.

Not zeitgeist feminism. Not the angriest moments of #MeToo, not the people who gleefully parody the moral inferiority of white men as a group, not a simple version of demonization of power nor some sort of modern play for marxist socialism. No, none of these straw mans carry the real weight of explanation.

People on both sides of the aisle really do feel a moral differential. People have noted it can be nearly impossible to have a discussion as being a “Trump supporter” can be so loaded as to shut down a conversation to many on the left in the same way that being a “feminist”, a “Black Lives Matter Supporter” or someone who leans socialist makes you an enemy to the right.

My grandmother’s facebook feed is nothing but a stream of memes characterizing the left as unpatriotic, whining, misguided fools who want to take your hard earned money and give it to welfare queens living high on the hog. It sure is an ugly charicature of what I think the heart of progressivism really is today.

Here’s an example, pulled from her feed. Have you ever met a Democrat who wanted to “Abort ALL DOMESTIC BABIES!”??? Of course not. Nobody is angling to get people to have more abortions. We all want prevention first, and abortion as a legal alternative to dire circumstances.

Similarly, however, we don’t describe Trump voters in the positive terms of conservatism — People who support individual liberty, small government, and a spirit of hard work and contribution toward a great nation. We see them, one and all, as Brock Turners and Richard Spencers and Robert Bowerses.

From left looking right, the divide appears to me thus:

We understand that our country has a history of injustice. That we are not the blameless saints and heroes we might have thought when first taught in elementary school (if you’re millennial or older). Most of those who join the progressive line do so because we can see that the society we have built has not fully released it’s old habits of favoring one particular cultural expression — that of the white male capitalist.

He is not a demon on his own. On his own, he is an entrepreneur, a provider, an icon of stability and paternal care for others.

But in the context of our history and our country, he is blithely raking in his billions while poisoning the very soil he grew his wealth in.

Our country is made up of diversity in so many ways. Diversity of skin color and heritage, diversity of gender and gender expression, diversity of values. And our founding theories say that we value that.

But when you have hugely disproportionate death and incarceration rates between groups based on race, when you have vast differences in likelihood of being the victim of bullying, discrimination, violent crime, and suicide as a result of your variety of gender expression or sexuality, and when even your art excludes some forms of being human from reality, you know that this is not an egalitarian land of the free, and that something MUST be done.

Whether or not the doing of those things is best done under government auspices, the problem with the coalition on the right, viewed by the coalition of the left, is that those on the right simply DON’T CARE not just about the injustices as they are, but about the attitudes that reify and justify those social injustices. When the president will not denounce the KKK, when his election has emboldened neo-nazis and white nationalists, when he has degraded women publicly and generally done nothing but exhibit bullish greed above any form of respect and caring, it is really, really hard to have empathy for those who support him, or the right which has capitulated to his power.

Real feminism isn’t just white women angry about sexual assault, it’s thousands of community organizers around the country, most often women of color, asking for legal reforms in order to create a better world for their children. Literally asking for things like better teacher pay and money for libraries and after school programs. They are doing powerful and important work for social change, often going completely uncompensated. If you really read feminist literature, you see a call not just for legal reform, but for HEART reform.

A call that recognizes that the siren song of capitalism has closed off compassion in our men. That our social gods, as represented by Gates, Bezos, Jobs, Trump and others value only an image of security, devoid of actionable care.

And that healing the heart of our country means bringing feeling and compassion back to our young boys. The masculine of our country are killing themselves in their golden years at a rate 6 times that of our women, and the running theory is that it’s usually due to a lack of real connection.

So truly, to the left — to those of us who value queerness, who care for the individual, who see life not as a series of tests against one strict standard that determines your value based on your ability to compete in the game of global entrepreneurship, but as a series of challenges designed to grow you into both a sturdy individual and a connected member of a flourishing and generative community seeking to better itself by cooperative and democratic means (rather than unilateral manipulative and authoritarian means), those of you voting red look like you are voting to perpetuate exclusion, sickness, and oppression we are confident we no longer need.

I don’t agree with everything blue. I believe that group think and emotional manipulation is strong is this camp. But if you ask me would I rather be a part of a group of people who is SENSITIVE while occasionally being wrong, but open to learning as opposed to a group that represents staking out that you are SPECIFICALLY RIGHT AT ALL COSTS, I don’t hesitate for a second here.

Red voters — your patriotism looks empty. Your hearts look cold. And when evangelicals vote red on the basis of “other people have no right to what I’ve earned” because you’re afraid social justice means taxes, I think about Matthew 25: 36–40:

“36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers,[a] you did it to me.’”

The meaning of this verse is simply that if you’re not thinking of those furthest away from power in your values, if you’re simply trying to model the power you see around you and criticizing those who don’t work so hard to impress their unjust kings like you do, I too have a hard time respecting your morals.

I should interject that there are in fact, plenty of red voters who themselves fund charter schools and contribute to charities to help the helpless. That by virtue of voting red it doesn’t automatically mean that you don’t care about any of the aforementioned injustices. But it does mean you’re OK with leaders and representatives who won’t even be bothered to respect those who are different than themselves.

Some people are red on a different basis than I describe here, and there is still room for you in my house, I will never shut you out. I understand that you as a group are as diverse as this country, and I value honoring your specialness and not bowling you over with stereotype.

But I think, to those who cling left, it is felt that if you truly understood what it means to trans people to feel allied with instead of bodily threatened, or if you knew what it was like to be told you couldn’t marry the person you love in your state, or if you honestly recognized the sickness in our economic structure and our consumerist values, you too would slap on a rainbow and put someone in office who promises to protect, to care, and to make change, instead of bluster, bully, and exhibit greed and self-interest.

It’s time I owned what I believe, and that’s been hard, perched on a fence between a family and cultural history steeped in evangelical values and the throngs of artists, creatives and queers that have been my adult inspirations, my family, and my peers.

If you’re still considering voting red and feeling unsure if it’s right, I promise you nothing but civil discussion here.

Vote today and vote for the world you believe in.