One of the most ominous developments in the seven-year Syrian conflict is how it has become a proxy war between two nuclear-armed global powers (the U.S. and Russia). And it’s not only the battling military factions — it’s our entire cultural outlook. Current American political discourse concerning Russia feels like it’s straight out of the Stanley Kubrick film “Dr. Strangelove”; just change “precious bodily fluids” to “the presidential election,” or “the site of the alleged chemical attack.”

“I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.” -General Jack D. Ripper

Harkening back to the “with us or against us” rhetoric of the second Bush administration, a BBC performer — I mean “journalist” — recently framed Western relations with Russia as an “information war” while discouraging basic critical thinking and rational discourse. That’s right, folks; from the makers of the blockbuster hit The Cold War comes a new and terrifying global thriller: Cold War II!

Independent journalists and pundits are now being viciously smeared and painted as Kremlin stooges left and right, often for merely questioning the Russiagate narrative and the growing push for more Western military involvement in Syria (which is often justified in a dubious manner). And this is happening at a time when the Doomsday Clock is set at two minutes before midnight and nuclear annihilation is as imminent as ever.

But alas, dear reader, I am merely human, and therefore tend to seek patterns that will allow me to make some sense of reality. I admit I was tempted to frame recent American alliances as a series of recycled fashion trends, but honestly, these odd bedfellows might just result from the pure belligerence and delirium of an empire in decline.

If you feel like there is no rhyme or reason to whom the American Empire associates itself with at any given moment, you’re probably right. That’s how a growing number of Americans are beginning to feel. Remember that time militias armed by the Pentagon fought against militias armed by the CIA? Like, what the actual fuck, Scoob?

The Military Industrial Complex is a raging juggernaut intent on either sustaining global instability or maintaining relatively “stable” dictatorships that serve American “national security interests.” Since America® is now a privately held corporation, a major concern of our military is the bottom line of its shareholders (the defense contractors) and, in a warped philosophical and existential sense, geopolitical control over certain regions and the natural resources contained therein. But on the ground, the results of U.S. intervention are the same every time: death, destruction, suffering, and chaos (and, in some cases, the emergence of open-air slave markets).

In addition to the seemingly mindless sociopathic violence and need for absolute control over the destiny of others, our ostensibly benevolent “defense department” operates on a simple scientific principle; inertia. The budget keeps increasing, and the covert actions, invasions, drone strikes, and missile strikes continue almost automatically. We’re not in the peace business. If fact, peace is bad for business. Plus, our leaders have had no experience with such a concept. If the U.S. military tried peace, they’d probably fuck it up and bomb a hospital in Pakistan or something.

As Frederick Douglass once famously said, “Power concedes nothing without a demand.” We the People need to step in and stop this cycle of violence by supporting and promoting independent journalism to inform the public, and by engaging in grassroots political campaigns to kick these bloodthirsty imperialists out of office. Now, to squeeze in one last cultural reference: Just like the time The Blues Brothers got the proverbial band back together, we need to get the anti-war movement back together.