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I’m a Kellyanne Conway birther.



That’s right. I am going to need proof that Kellyanne Conway is alive and not just a skeleton covered in provolone cheese wearing a bank-robber wig that is attached to a series of pulleys that make her arms and mouth move.


Until then, I have to address Kellyanne Conway as the skeletal remains of someone named Kellyanne Conway. Or simply: Skellyanne Conway.

I’m not the only one who wants to see ol’ Skellyanne Conway’s receipts. According to the New York Post, Democrats want to see how it was that Skellyanne was able to travel with former Health Secretary Tom Price, who was forced to step down last fall because of the apparent jet-setting.


While Price is backing what he weighs for gallivanting on taxpayer coins, Skellyanne hasn’t had to pay a dime.

“Rep. Elijah Cummings, the top Democrat on the House Oversight Committee, sent a letter Tuesday to Chairman Trey Gowdy (R-S.C.)—asking him to subpoena travel records for Conway and other White House officials,” the New York Post reports.



Dems have reportedly asked the Trump administration for travel records for some time, but because this White House is shady as fuck, they have not responded to the requests.

“The White House has completely stonewalled our requests for documents,” Cummings wrote in his letter to Gowdy, the New York Post reports. “If you do not issue a subpoena at this point, it will be obvious to the White House and the American people that the Committee has no intention of serving as a true check on the Executive Branch.”


Cummings added that Price sent the government three checks totaling $59,400 for travel expenses while he was in office. Skellyanne apparently traveled with Price on several of these trips, including stops in Maine, Michigan, New Hampshire, Tennessee, West Virginia and Philadelphia, the New York Post reports.

A White House spokesman downplayed the Democrats’ push for records, calling it “ridiculous” and a “partisan attack.”


“Members of the president’s Cabinet invite relevant White House staff for official travel to events advancing the president’s agenda,” deputy White House press secretary Hogan Gidley said in a statement. “When White House staff accompany Cabinet members their travel plans are arranged, secured and financed by the inviting agency.”

In September, Price resigned after it was found that he’d racked up a $400,000 travel bill.


“Personally, I’m not happy about it,” Trump said after learning of Price’s egregious expenses. “I am not happy about it and I let him know it.”



Well, what about ol’ Skellyanne? Or do the undead get to fly free?