Monday 1/1

Fuck you, I’m not even going to post this until Tuesday

Tuesday 1/2

Craig’s Going Away Party at Gallery 5 — There’s a good chance you have no idea who Craig is, but he’s leaving and you should miss him. Great local bands, including Opin and Night Idea are playing in his honor! Note: This is a 2 night gig, so if you hate my idea for Wednesday, head to Strange Matter for more Craig.

Wednesday 1/3

BLINGO at Sticky Rice — This ain’t your grandma’s BINGO game. The numbers are called fast and furious and your drunk ass can only hope to catch half of them. Plus between rounds dumb people do dumb things to try and win shitty prizes from the Dollar Store. It’s basically like watching a fail-video compilation, but in real life.

Thursday 1/4

Know Your Rights at Fallout — Fallout’s legal council, Paul Kunberger, will be leading a discussion on your legal rights. If you have questions about your basic legal rights, interactions with the police, domestic relations, or anything else you think a lawyer might know, bring them. Personally I am resolving to have fewer interactions with police in 2018.

Friday 1/5

The Magic Negro and Other Blackness at Coalition Theater —Mark Kendall uses a series of comedic sketches to examine the representation of black males in the media in his critically acclaimed one-man show. If you felt bad for the Armitage family in Get Out, maybe skip this one; you won’t like it.

Saturday 1/6

Annie at the Byrd Theatre — It’s a hard knock life for anybody looking for family friendly fun on this website, but this week I got you covered. Part of the Byrd’s “Family Classics” series, Annie shows at 10am. Don’t forget to tip the concessions attendant (she’s a friend of mine).

Sunday 1/7

Cheem, Mineral Girls, Big Baby at Hardywood — Congrats, you made it a full week into the year. Time to break your resolution to stop day drinking. Music starts at 2pm.