Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles reinforced this principle when he taught, “We can’t receive inspiration if we’re not united.” 2 When we are unified in purpose and prayer, we invite guidance and inspiration from the Holy Ghost.

The Lord taught the same principle of unity in councils to Joseph Smith: “And every decision made by either of these quorums must be by the unanimous voice of the same; that is, every member in each quorum must be agreed to its decisions, in order to make their decisions of the same power or validity one with another” ( D&C 107:27 ).

Presidencies, councils, and bishoprics all work upon principles of unanimous, harmonious agreement. Elder M. Russell Ballard explained that the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles comes to a united decision before they act on any issue: “We discuss a wide variety of issues, from Church administration to world events, and we do so frankly and openly. Sometimes issues are discussed for weeks, months, and occasionally even years before a decision is made.” 1 Unity is so important that they will not move forward with a decision until unity has been achieved.

In the Home

The principle of unity is true for priesthood councils, and it is true for marriages. The Brethren have taught that the family council is the basic council of the Church.3 Notice that they have not taught that the husband is the most basic council or that the wife is the most basic council. This council consists of both of them together.

It is not uncommon for couples to struggle in coming to a unanimous decision, especially when the issue at hand is significant. Further, when spouses are more concerned with being right than with gaining consensus, “communication with Heavenly Father breaks down, [and] communication between spouses also breaks down. And Heavenly Father will not interfere. He doesn’t generally intrude where He is not invited.”4 The key is to actually invite﻿—rather than exclude﻿—our Heavenly Father into our discussions. If we humbly work together and listen to each other, we gain the essential blessing of the Lord’s guidance.

It is important to make united decisions with the guidance of the Spirit﻿—especially if the decision doesn’t seem logically to be the best choice. President George Q. Cannon (1827–1901), First Counselor in the First Presidency, explained that the Lord sustains the counsel of united leaders and that He will improve their less-than-perfect plan and will “supplement it by His wisdom and power and make it effective.”5 This promise is offered to all councils, including couples.

However, decision making does not always have to be accomplished through a formal process. Elder Ballard teaches that “when a husband and wife talk to each other, they are holding a family council.”6

Additionally, just as the Lord does not command us in all things, spouses do not need to hold councils for every decision. Couples should trust each other to make daily decisions that eternally have little consequence. Together, with guidance from the Lord, the scriptures, and the words of the prophet, they determine those decisions that require mutual discussion.