Throughout your quest to collect the nine hundred and ninety nine Power Moons hidden across the vibrant and delightful worlds in Nintendo’s brilliant new platforming game Super Mario Odyssey

see deal Super Mario Odyssey - Nintendo Switch $59.99 on Gamestop

Seaside Kingdom: Beach Volleyball - Hero of the Beach

Remember when the Nintendo Switch was revealed and Nintendo showed us the first footage of Super Mario Odyssey and Mario was running around a weird cartoon New York City and there were human men there and we were like “Oh my god! It’s like Super Mario meets GTA!” Well, fast forward to now, and yeah, it definitely has moments like that, but it also has moments like this: playing volleyball against a damn snail. Now I don’t really know the rules of volleyball or the rules of snails, but in Mario Odyssey snail volleyball, you have to hit the volleyball 100 times to get a Moon, all while other creatures mock you as you fail, so it’s a lot like being in gym class in high school. I hate you, snail. I hate you.

Moon Kingdom - Walking on the Moon: Again!

In Mario Odyssey, you can backflip, triple jump, cap jump, sidejump and wallkick and on the moon levels in Mario Odyssey, you can do all of that with crazy low gravity physics! It’s great! Mario loves jumping! But what if instead of doing any of those things, you had to collect a moon by just... walking slowly in a perfect circle. This moon requires you to create a large pixel perfect circle with your footsteps using nothing but some rapidly disappearing guidelines, meaning you’ll probably spend hours accidentally drawing weird egg shapes and ovals. All of this happens while a psychotic koopa stands in the center and scores your performance like some kind of nightmare game show host. On occasion, you’ll feel like you did it perfectly, but then you’ll still screw it up somehow. Then you’ll want to hurl yourself into space just to stop trying for it.

Mushroom Kingdom - Secret 2D Treasure

Loading

Everybody loves Super Mario Galaxy, a great game where 3D Mario could jump from planet to planet and even run upside down in space. The brand new Super Mario Odyssey attempts to let you relive your favorite Galaxy memories, but this time, you’ll try them in 2D, and if you mess up, you become 3D and die. Yes, the 3D Mario game Super Mario Odyssey will kill you for becoming 3D Mario. That’s a real thing that it does. You’ll eventually get this challenge after a few attempts, but first, it will torture and kill you for yearning for another dimension outside of the one you’re trapped in, forcing you to survive a flat, existential pain that only ceases when you touch a cartoon drawing of a moon with your tiny 2D fist, like a terrifying Twilight Zone episode. Life is pain, and like Mario, we are all trapped in a dimension we can never escape from. Super Mario Odyssey is rated E for Everyone.

See the Secret 2D Treasure Walkthrough.

Wooded Kingdom - Herding Sheep Above the Forest Fog

Oh hello Mr. Sheep wearing a sombrero! What are you doing up here in the sky, where there is no land, and no delicious grass for you to graze on? Oh what’s that you say? Your shepard is a Toad who doesn’t know how to take care of you? And I have to field goal kick you through the sky to return you to him? Well Mr. Sheep, at least you’ll help me by walking in the right direction and never jumping off the ledge. Oh what’s that you say? You’re gonna run in the opposite direction and commit suicide? Oh, I hate you Mr. Sheep. I hate your Toad shepherd too. I hope all of you are trapped up here forever. You don’t deserve to come back to earth. Now gimme that damn moon.

See the Herding Sheep Above The Forest Fog Walkthrough.

Dark Side - Breakdown Road Final Challenge

Loading

Hey, can you do a long jump in Super Mario Odyssey? Of course you can! Can you do eight perfect long jumps in a row in Super Mario Odyssey without falling or stopping once? NO YOU CAN NOT. This Moon requires you to nail the landing on eight long jumps in a row while a giant bullet bill chases you to the end of this level where you have to lure him to a wall and blow it up just to find a moon. Screw up once and you have to run through the entire top part of the level again and while a hundred smaller Bullet Bills try to blow you up. It’s hell. It’s pure living hell. Good luck out there.

See the Breakdown Road Final Challenge Walkthrough.

Dark Side - Invisible Road: Rush!

Loading

This Moon takes away your cap, your floor, your hopes, and your dreams as you slowly fight your way past an army of gigantic, vomiting Piranha Plants who puke poison on all of the parts of the floor you’re not allowed to stand on, which is most of them. Navigate through the purple hurl without getting killed and you’ll find a moon or two. Touch the vomit pools and you’ll die. What do these piranha plants eat that makes them so sick, anyway? Why are they constantly upchucking violet, neon yak? Eat better and get your lives together, you sick animals. You’re making a mess in here.

Dark Side Vanishing Road Rush and Challenge

Loading

New Donk City might be the best world in Super Mario Odyssey. Sprawling buildings to climb, streets to explore and manholes to jump in make it one of the most ambitious Mario stages yet. Vanishing Road, on the other hand, plays like a nightmare fueled dystopian version of New Donk City where the entire population is tanks, the ground literally disappears from beneath you as you run, everything is dark and miserable and THEY TAKE AWAY YOUR HAT. YOUR HAT IS YOUR BEST FRIEND AND THEY TAKE HIM AWAY. This level will kill you constantly, or more likely, you will kill yourself constantly in this level. Roll jump into a long jump and...dead. Triple jump into a ground vanish and..dead. There are TWO Moons to get here and they’re both equally frustrating. Complete this level and you are gifted with the ultimate reward: never having to play this level again.

Darker Side - Long Journey's End

Loading

This is it - the culmination of everything Mario Odyssey has to offer. This level is absolutely fantastic and it has everything you’ve loved about the game so far. Insane scenarios, bizarre enemies, crazy power-ups and a million different things trying to kill you. So what makes this level so frustrating? It’s very long - which is great - but there are no checkpoints, very few shortcuts, and no mercy. That means that when you die - which you will - even you, guy in the comments who is watching this video like “I beat it on my first try!” No you didn't. Anyway, when you die, you have to play the entire thing over again. And this is a very, very long level where everything wants you dead. However - if you manage to finish it, you’ll unlock the craziest and weirdest outfit in Mario history - a costume that makes you invisible. And when people can’t see you, they can’t see you crying from frustration. See? All the pain was worth it.

See the full Long Journey’s End Walkthrough.

OK, I feel a little bit better now. Believe it or not, it’s totally possible to collect all of these Moons without giving up or kicking your Pro controller down a flight of stairs. Take a deep breath, be calm, be patient, and use our official IGN Wiki to find every secret in the game. Wahoo!

Brian Altano is a host and producer at IGN and you can follow him on Twitter at @agentbizzle and catch him being loud every week on IGN's live variety show, Up at Noon.