WARNING: The extracts in this article contain swearing, explicit sex and some horrifying abuse of the English language.

Though it's hard to imagine who on earth thought that #AskELJames was anything other than a terrible idea, the author's Twitter Q&A descended into such a no-holds-barred fiasco that you might find yourself feeling sorry for James in the aftermath.

But you shouldn't. And we're here to remind you why.

Two years ago, we brought you the 23 weirdest lines from Fifty Shades of Grey, as narrated by the innocent Ana Steele. Now, it's time to go a few shades darker (if you will), and delve into the creepiest extracts from the same story as told by her enigmatic, domineering lover Christian Grey. Be warned: it gets unpleasant.

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Emma Dibdin Contributor Emma Dibdin writes about television, movies, and podcasts, with coverage including opinion essays, news posts, episodic reviews and in-depth interviews with creatives.

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