Party Adamantly Opposed To Hate Struggles To Pass Resolution Condemning Hate

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The party of love and tolerance which is adamantly opposed to hatred in all its forms struggled mightily before finally passing a resolution that vaguely condemns hate, sources confirmed Thursday.

Only after revising the language several times and making sure the resolution didn't condemn any specific acts of hate was the Democratic Party able to pass the anti-hate resolution.

"We are opposed to hate in all its forms," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said in a speech Thursday afternoon, after desperately trying to get Democrats to sign onto the resolution. "And we can show how much we're against hate if we can word this resolution to condemn the specific kinds of hate we're against while not turning off any Democrats who are actually in favor of a particular brand of hate."

"Now please, would you all just vote for this thing so we can show how tolerant and anti-hate we are?" an exasperated Pelosi added.

Finally, after all forms of hate the Democrats are OK with were omitted from the bill, the party was able to pass it with flying colors. They then quickly condemned House Republicans who refused to vote for the anti-hate bill that didn't condemn anything specific.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee