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After several trials and errors with business start ups over the last few years, Byron locals Magnolia Smithers and Banjo Clementè have finally become what they always claimed to hate.

The new ‘BEE YOU’ line of non-edible honey products appears to have found way more momentum than they would have ever openly aspired for.

After moving to the Northern Rivers six years ago to live a life of tranquil trustfunded funemployment, it didn’t take long for Banjo to get the ‘entrepreneur itch’ that was engrained into him at the elite all boys private school he attended in Toorak.

Banjo says while their initial craft mead business may have been a bit ambitious, and their brief stint in the Bali-made jewellery import game saw them enter one of the most saturated retail markets between Ballina to the Goldie – he always kind of knew that honey soap and honey boot polish would take off.

But not to the point where the young parents of four toddlers would have to forgo their love of the environment.

“It’s just a shame the Greens don’t have any decent policies regarding small business.” he says.

“I really want to leave the planet in a decent state for my kids, but the Liberal Party are unfortunately our only option now. This pre-Easter rush has bumped us up a tax bracket and I’ll be damned if I let anyone fuck around with this nest egg I’m building”

Magnolia agrees. She says when you make a little bit of coin in Byron, the cost of living goes way up.

“We still go to Bali twice a year – and ever since Atticus, Archie, Aquila and Anchor got used to business class, we really can’t go back to economy with the plebs [haha]”

With both a state and federal election looming, the young family’s rapid transition from environmentalists who care about saving refugee kids in detention, to blue-ribbon Liberal voters, appears to have happened overnight.

With Sky News now blaring 24/7 on the newly installed home cinema in their kooky little 7-bedroom cottage just a stones throw from Belongil Beach, Banjo basically admits that it’s hard to deny coal is a cheaper form of energy.

“For me, it’s all about being fiscally conservative. We can’t get caught up on all of these left-wing hang-ups. I still talk to my gay friends in Lennox, but you know, we don’t necessarily agree eye-to-eye on as much anymore”

“Renewable energy is an eyesore, coal prevents blackouts and higher electricity prices for our factory in Lismore”

“I never wanted to be a small business owner, but now that I am one, and a successful one at that, I really can’t be giving away 50% of my earnings to these degenerate welfare-dependant economic handbrakes who only get out of bed to line up for a dole cheque”

“They say society is only as strong as their weakest link, well guess what? These spoilt bludgers on Centrelink don’t even make up the chain as far as I’m concerned”



“Cut them off. Also we need to stop immigration from Muslim countries”