A LOCAL cafe has a copy of today’s Guardian that will remain forever untouched by human hands.

The Big Bite cafe in Stepney, which mainly offers fried breakfast variants listed in numerical order, offers customers a selection of newspapers which are mostly crumpled and egg-stained from heavy usage.

Owner Roy Hobbs said: “I thought it’d be good to get the Guardian in for a bit of variety, but everyone just overlooks it like it’s got poison impregnated into the pages.

“A lot of my customers are in the building trade so maybe after a hard morning of carrying things up ladders you aren’t quite in the mood for a lengthy opinion piece about the gender politics of Pokemon Go.”

Plasterer Roy Hobbs said: “I just know instinctively that it is not for me, in the same way that my dog knows he should not eat cheese.

“If all the other papers are taken and there’s only the Guardian left, I will just look at the tablecloth.”