Arvind Kejriwal has been assaulted yet again, this time by himself. The dastardly act happened when Kerjiwal was addressing a gathering in South Delhi. Even as stunned AAP activists looked on, Kejriwal suddenly slapped himself, saying he feels very disappointed with himself.

Kejriwal was quick to dissuade his stunned aides from taking the law into their own hands and beating him black and blue, urging them instead to hand him over to the police. “Friends, if you attack me in retaliation, then you will also let me down. Then how are you different from them and me? I urge you to peacefully hand me over to the police and forgive me.”

Kejriwal said that since he was also a quintessential aam aadmi without any aukaat, he, like many others, held high expectations of himself. “And when I looked back at my conduct over the last three months, I was beside myself with rage and resorted to violence to give vent to my frustration,” Kejriwal sadly noted.

AAP leaders were quick to smell a BJP-Congress conspiracy behind the incident. “Who is the mastermind behind Arvind attacking himself? Why would he do it of his own volition? I see RSS hand in it (sic),” observed Dr Yogendra Yadav. Manish Sisodiya did not rule out the possibility of Arvind being an Ambani agent. “Very soon, Ambani’s business of corruption is going to end. Therefore, Ambani is getting more desperate,” Sisodiya grimly noted. These questions will be debated threadbare by Rajdeep Sardesai tonight under the rubric: “Is Kejriwal’s self slap a political conspiracy or genuine self-appraisal?”

Later, during a silent prayer in Rajghat, Kejriwal forgave himself.