“Give it up for the Shorty Squad.”

At a glance, Peridot’s counterpart from the four main Crystal Gems is Pearl. They’re both low-caste Homeworlders who value brains over brawn and are, to Peri-phrase from The New Crystal Gems, “uptight and sensitive.” They’re both capable of coldness, even cruelty, but have fundamentally good hearts. They’re both handy with machinery, leading to a bit of a rivalry, and even have a different sort of rivalry before becoming teammates, as Pearl fixates on finding Peridot during the Week of Sardonyx.

Amethyst seems more of a contrast to Peridot, in many of the same ways that she contrasts with Pearl: she’s the slob versus the snob, the native Earthling assimilated into human culture versus the distant Homeworlder seeing Earth through an alien lens. She’s also, in Peridot’s mind, a high ranking elite compared to a lowly worker bee. Back to the Barn is about how Peridot and Pearl are similar, and Too Far is about how Peridot and Amethyst are different, and we could’ve stuck to this characterization for the whole series and it probably would’ve been fine.

Instead, we get Too Short to Ride. By itself, it’s a decent episode about Steven and Amethyst (but mostly Amethyst) helping Peridot see past her limitations. But when viewed alongside Amethyst’s season-ending arc, it becomes the first part of a larger story about two friends navigating a society that diminishes them for their physical disabilities.

I say the society is the issue rather than the disabilities because expectations are the only actual impediments facing Peridot or Amethyst. Sure, they’re both smaller than average, Amethyst due to the circumstances of her birth and Peridot due to resource rationing. Amethyst isn’t as physically strong as a typical quartz, and Peridot can’t shapeshift. But they’re only made to feel incapable because of what Gems deem important, and man oh man is that a complicated take for a children’s show to explore.

Especially because the Gem society in question isn’t limited to Homeworld, Amethyst might feel down because of extraterrestrial views on what she should be, but Peridot’s sense of inferiority stems from the actions of two earthlings. Steven and Amethyst are innocent as can be in their use of shapeshifting, but their eventual insistence for Peridot to try and use these powers shows the social dangers of normalizing physical abilities that others might not necessarily share. Even when you mean well, you can hurt people without meaning to if you’re not paying attention.

However, Too Short to Ride has a crucial ingredient to this lesson that all too often goes forgotten: grace. An extremist take on the episode is that Steven and Amethyst are monstrous for not thinking about what their friend needs and for belittling her disability, and because this is a progressive show, I’m sure certain progressive fans might buy into this reading. But while it’s important to be aware of the needs of others, it’s honestly just as important to not demonize folks who make honest mistakes from a place of caring. It sucks, and it’s awkward, but it’s impossible to learn how to be the best friend you can be without stumbles.

If I seem like I’m getting super in the weeds on the lesson, it’s because this is the episode where we first see Peridot tweeting cheeping, which makes me think of the brilliant writing of Jesse Zuke (credited as Lauren), which unfortunately makes me also think of how certain elements of the Steven Universe fandom are more interested in biting people’s heads off at any hint of ideological impurity than they are in treating people with grace. So yeah. Please be patient, and please be kind.

Anyway, major factor in this episode’s success is that, as is typical of Steven Universe, the larger lesson is grounded in terrific characters. Peridot’s disability is something we’ve never talked about, but her explanation of why peridots of her era can’t shapeshift lends new weight to her outburst at Yellow Diamond, who dismissed the importance of potential resources to a Gem whose life has been directly affected by low resources. The revelation also makes her attachment to robotic limbs more compelling while rewatching her villainous past episodes. This isn’t a cheap trick, it’s integrated into who she is and makes her a better character. (Yet again, this why I don’t like House Guest or Fusion Cuisine or Sadie’s Song. Consistent characterization is everything, especially consistent flaws.)

Peridot’s story enhances her past, but Amethyst’s role is enhanced by her future: it is fascinating to listen to Amethyst’s climactic speech after watching Earthlings. She tells Peridot that it’s unhealthy to focus so hard on what she can’t do versus what she can, which is good advice, but it turns out she’s incapable of following it herself. These are two Gems who see themselves as too small and too weak to be useful, and express this by lashing out in anger because they’re too embarrassed to be honest about their feelings. But Amethyst demonstrates here that some part of her knows that her obsessive need to prove herself in her season-ending arc is harmful, which makes it that much sadder that she obsesses anyway.

This strangely feels like a townie episode, even though Peridot is by nobody’s definition a townie. A major factor is the Funland setting, complete with the most Mr. Smiley we’ve seen in one sitting thus far. Another is that even though Peridot is a Crystal Gem now, she’s living off-site with an unaligned Gem roommate and popping in for occasional adventures rather than being a regular presence in the style of our four leads. Add references to hand-specific shapeshifting from Cat Fingers and Steven’s “lifetime” ban from Serious Steven, and Too Short to Ride earns some serious early-episode nostalgia points.

However, the show has evolved past some of the early episode flaws that once held it back. Gone is the directionless pacing of Cat Fingers or the Annoying Steven of Serious Steven, and good riddance to both. The pacing does meander, especially during the multiple scenes of Steven and Amethyst shapeshifting long after we’ve gotten the point (they’re having fun and Peridot isn’t), but I’m fine with the mood that this elongated setup brings. Peridot doesn’t just feel left out, she’s bored, and while I don’t think the intention is to bore the audience, after watching the episode a few times it’s nice to see that a character is as interested at getting to the point already as I am.

The opening sequence shows a Peridot that’s chipper, curious, and cute (she has a ribbon in her hair because she’s a gift to the world), but not without her trademark arrogance or hyperliteral worldview. It’s important to see her in such a good mood, excited both to receive her gift and to show it off to Amethyst, because otherwise it wouldn’t be notable that the show’s resident fussbudget is making a fuss at Funland. There’s still efficient storytelling here despite the slow-moving second act.

It’s also cool to see modern gadgets and social media in a cartoon in a way that’s central to the plot. Children’s stories set in modern times are largely developed by people who were children a few decades prior, so it’s taken a while for tech to be meaningfully implemented into stories written for the first tech-native generation. Steven Universe has been light on this element of youth culture, with a few smartphones here and there, but its focus is understandably elsewhere. Too Short to Ride shows that the crew has always been able to tell this kind of story if they wanted to, and I appreciate the restraint as much as the implementation.



Beyond giving Peridot an outlet for communication and information gathering, and potentially serving as a metaphor for social media isolating us from the real world, Peridot’s new tablet (courtesy of Greg, who we learn is still wealthy after paying off his big vacation) is the impetus for the big reveal: Peridot’s metal powers. There’s a story in here about how we have hidden depths that we can only find when we stop dwelling on what we can’t do, but come on the important thing is the new animation this allows. It’s a terrific contrast to the standard “hold up a hand and think” approach so often used to display telekinesis, and such a tenuous method is a perfect fit for a bundle of nerves like Peridot.

This is a funny episode in general, despite its heavy themes. It’s great to see this much Mr. Smiley, especially when exhaustion dials up the forced cheer factor, and we get one of my favorite Onion gags. But Peridot’s descriptions, a Florido’n’Zuke specialty, are the real heroes. Her strange terminology for the mundane is a reliable gag, but you get the sense that she’s weird even for a Gem here: for instance, the alien toy she desires doesn’t just have a big head, but one that’s “swollen with thoughts.”

Peridot doesn’t fit in, so it’s sweet to see Steven and Amethyst invite her along for a day on the boardwalk, even if it doesn’t work as planned. While Steven gets a bit less to do than Amethyst, Amethyst is the one who better understands what Peridot is going through. His is a perspective of someone who can’t do things but can learn, but Amethyst is all too aware of what she can’t do, period. It’ll be another stretch before her story continues, but it’s one of the best the series has to offer.

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?



Would Shorty Squad founding member Amethyst really have a problem bumping into something that’s high up? Is Steven at a school where he has to be a principal and a teacher and a coach? Am I stupid for analyzing a funny picture in an alternate universe with a logical lens?





We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

The slow pace prevents Too Short to Ride from being a favorite, but it’s a funny, meaningful episode with a favorite character. I don’t love it, but I like it, so it’s a good thing I have a category for each of those options!



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