Transformers: Age of Extinction delivers essentially everything one would expect from a Transformers movie; both the good and the bad - and plenty of it. Michael Bay introduces his “redesigned” take on the morphing bots in a film that seeks to exceed its predecessors in scale, global scope, and runtime…certainly runtime. Depending on your perspective, that is either an attractive or entirely repellent proposition.

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As anyone who’s been on the Internet, watched TV, or gone to the cinema recently knows, the basic premise is that failed robotics engineer Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) “finds a Transformer” - Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) himself, in fact - while he’s hunting through junk. Unfortunately, the government, via Kelsey Grammer’s villainous Harold Attinger, has declared an unofficial war on the alien shape-shifters. The Earth-saving Autobots are not excluded from the search and execution crusade. Cade, his 17-year-old daughter Tessa (Nicola Peltz), best friend/assistant Lucas (T.J. Miller), and Tessa’s secret lover/professional race-car driver Shane (Jack Reynor) get caught in the crossfire between Attinger’s minions – the most vicious of whom is the ruthless Savoy (Titus Welliver) – and the fleeing Autobot leader.Meanwhile, Attinger has commissioned tech tycoon Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci) to create man-made and controlled Transformers via his company KSI. The aim is to use the manufactured robots as military weapons in this and all future wars, which as you can imagine is a totally flawless idea. Joyce utilizes the fallen (yep) Decepticons, including Megatron, and several captured Autobots to reverse engineer his new-world-order machines. In a bid to end “the age of the Transformers”, and in keeping with the notion that “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”, Attinger has agreed to an uneasy alliance with Lockdown, a Transformer who swears allegiance to neither Autobot nor Decepticon.Lockdown, who just may be the best and most bada** baddie this franchise has ever seen, seeks Optimus for his own purposes and cares little for the safety of the insignificant humans. To combat this new threat and protect his endangered brethren, Prime calls upon his own personal band of brothers: Bumblebee, Hound (John Goodman), Drift (Ken Watanabe), Crosshairs (John DiMaggio), and later, Brains (Reno Wilson).Thus concludes the basic plot conceit and the extent of the story that contains a logical through-line. Ehren Kruger’s script is often predictably senseless and can feel like a hodgepodge of plotlines lifted from a bevy of recent, and some not so recent, blockbusters. The drive to annihilate the Transformers is akin to Days of Future Past; as both friendly and enemy “other” are hunted down, experimented on, and remade. There’s even a fundamental new story twist that quotes Prometheus, but in order to avoid spoilers, we won’t delve into the details at this time.Those who don’t care for (read detest) Bay’s take on the Robots in Disguise will be far happier if they remain miles away from the IMAX 3D endeavor, as it serves up triple doses of the director’s brainless lavishness. Audiences who are game to board the extravagance train will find that Age of Extinction hits all the notes that a Transformers movie ought to. Bay’s signature elaborate explosions and remarkable effects work are on tap, of course. ILM has outdone itself on this one and added an innovative diversity to what the Transformers are and can be, which is to say nothing of the attention to detail included in the truly stunning visual effects. In addition to impressive aesthetics, the soulful machines are endowed with a wide range of personality traits; some straight-up silly but others legitimately appealing. Also, you can tell who’s who when they’re brawling. Have we mentioned giant robots fighting?The story provides some tantalizing hints at the Transformers’ backstory, and they ultimately outshine the humans. The much anticipated Dinobots, on the other hand, are not as present as some might have liked. Additionally, their re-awakening is entirely absurd and will leave you with more questions than answers. Having said that, Optimus charging ahead on a fire-breathing Grimlock’s back, sword-waving as they roar a battle cry is just as gloriously outlandish as you’d hope it would be.Purists may take umbrage with the changes, but most audiences will likely enjoy the human-crafted and “upgraded” method of transformation, which is innovative and entertaining. There are some Gen 1 nods that will likely please life-long aficionados, but there is also a radical shift in the Transformers mythology. The evolutionary “seed” and a newly imagined creator take the place of the Allspark, here.Working in 3D has – thankfully – once again forced Bay to slow down, and he’s played with its restrictions, allowing us to really see what's happening to the humans as they are tossed through the air in the midst of giant robot fights. Though the editing still dips into a kinetic pace here and there, Bay has introduced a wider swath of action. The car chases are, ironically, not the film’s strong suit, but the helmer does offer hand-to-hand (both human and robot) combat, gravity manipulating spaceships, gunfights, sufficiently weird non-sequitur swordplay, world-altering destruction, slo-mo running, and oh, yes, grand-scale explosions.Let’s pause to talk explosions, shall we?If you’re going to indulge in a Bay film, you know you’re strapping in for detonations that are entirely removed from reality. At several points in the film a colleague turned to me and said, “What is blowing up right now!?!” Grass, concrete, or the ocean…it doesn’t matter; if we can see it, it can be blown up. Very early on in the film, Bay essentially creates his masterpiece, his Mona Lisa of explosions, which will likely leave you laughing - with your jaw agape - by the conclusion of the sequence. As to the scope, the Hong Kong and mainland China locations add flavor and a global scale to the devastation. They also invite one of the franchise’s largest markets (China) to enjoy massive robot carnage on their home turf.Unfortunately, to say that the runtime is self-indulgent is an understatement of Cybertron-sized proportions. Never one to hold back, Bay’s glutted himself on this one, and the length is by far the weakest aspect of the film. It’s also potentially this entry’s undoing. Even those who enjoy the director’s relentless spectacle will find 165 minutes to be a herculean endurance test. Twenty-minutes could easily be shaved off by having Wahlberg profess his desire to protect his daughter just once rather than 200 times. The repetitive nature of the combat ultimately dilutes the strength of those sequences. Eventually, the viewer is left craving an end to the onslaught.Having said that, Lockdown’s introduction, an embittered Optimus, and the human/Transformer hostility all serve to create a somewhat refreshing, slightly darker tone to the series. The often annoyingly manufactured humor is still there, but is toned down for the most part. It felt like Tucci was responsible for the bulk of the zany comedy, which is fine, as he understood what was needed and delivered. Grammer is terrific as the evil Attinger, as is Welliver as his henchman, but they ride the same tonal line throughout. Li Bingbing, an executive in Tucci’s company, functions mostly as eye-candy, but she is given one invigorating, if over-the-top, fight sequence. In general, the characters are broadly drawn - to say the least - and the film occasionally veers into misguided and stereotypical representations.Wahlberg brings every ounce of his often endearingly goofy charm, as well as a relatable action appeal. He really does feel like a man in extraordinary circumstances rather than an inhuman force of nature the way some action icons can. Newcomers Nicola Peltz and Jack Reynor are disappointingly flat, though. They fail to pop the way – love him or hate him – former franchise lead Shia LaBeouf did.Additionally, I have no clue why the Yeagers are meant to be from Texas, as there are no region-appropriate accents in attendance. Perhaps it was to make the overwhelming incidence of American flags make sense? Ultimately, the Transformers take center stage in this one, and for some that will be a very good thing. The Autobots do tread into wacky terrain, but that’s somewhat to be expected in a film that’s entirely designed to sell toys to little kids. This is, at its core, a three-hour Hasbro commercial, after all.As mentioned, Lockdown is absolutely the most successful new aspect of this franchise. He is an attractive combination of rogue Navy Seal, gunslinger, Boba Fett, Clint Eastwood, Jason Statham, and the Terminator all rolled up into one giant robot with a massive Decepticon-sized chip on his shoulder. The interior of his ship is an awesomely strange and utterly fascinating house of alien horrors. The gravity generators create some of the most attention-grabbing spectacle as planes, trains, and oil tankers are sucked into the atmosphere only to come crashing back down to earth. His first appearance is marked by a ruthlessly brutal encounter with an Autobot on the run and marks the film’s only genuinely emotion-provoking moment.Could the story of the Transformers be told differently and better? Sure. At four movies in, however, you know what you’re getting and if you buy the ticket, well, you’re going to take the ride. This one is overlong, but it otherwise meets expectations with some neat new twists and additions. Though not entirely original or thoroughly thought-out, the fresh take on the mythos that Lockdown introduces is delightfully bizarre and fun. It also leaves the franchise in a potentially intriguing new place by the film’s conclusion.