CHRIS CILLIZZA (7/31/2014): ... the border bill ... KRYSTAL BALL (7/31/2014): ... a highway funding bill ... REP. DAN KILDEE, D-MI (7/30/2014): ... emergency unemployment insurance ... REP. STEVE ISRAEL, D-NY (7/30/2014): ... student loan relief ... REP. JOE GARCIA, D-FL (7/31/2014): ... comprehensive immigration reform ... SEN. JOHN CORNYN, R-TX (7/24/2014): If we don't do something to fix that, then by the time we leave here for the August recess, we will have failed.

But I'd forgotten what it was like to hear that kind of urgency from members of Congress. So what are you going to do first there, border crisis, student loans, how about a nice little budget resolution, you know what I'm talking about?



REP. PETE SESSIONS, R-TX (7/30/2014): We have chosen to bring this legislation forth today to sue the President over his selective implementation of the Affordable Care Act.

(audience applause)

Look, why are you suing the President?



REP. JEFF DUNCAN, R-SC (7/30/2014): Our Founders ... they understood that too much power in the hands of any one person or any one group of people would inevitably lead to tyranny.

7/30/2014: REP. RICH NUGENT, R-FL: Our Founding Fathers understood the dangers of having a president who not only enforced the laws, but made them. SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER, R-OH: Are you willing to let anyone tear apart what our Founders have built? REP. TOM RICE, R-SC: We cannot stand by and watch the president shred our Constitution. REP. CANDICE MILLER, R-MI: That type of action amounts to tyranny, Mr. Speaker. Tyranny.

(Jon suddenly snaps awake) Whaza... huh? Ah! Yeah! The British are coming, the British are coming!

Yes, it's tyranny, Obama's a tyrant. We all know throughout history, the only way to depose a tyrant is via a civil lawsuit. (audience laughter) I think I remember Caesar's famous last words, "Et sue, Brute?"

(audience applause)

Look, he's serving him there.

Look, make no mistake, this entirely necessary and effective lawsuit wasn't a matter of partisanship, but of principle.



REP. VIRGINIA FOXX, R-NC (7/30/2014): This is not about politics. If there were a Republican President doing the same thing, I would feel just as strongly.

Look, this lady was in Congress when then-President Bush in 2006 took executive action to waive or extend deadlines on financial penalties clearly written into the new Medicare Part D health care law. Now since that was pretty much exactly identical executive action to the one you are now suing President Obama for, let's flash back to then and check out the Republicans' and Congresswoman Foxx's just-as-strong reaction to that tyranny.



MIKE FERRIS: Hey! Hey! Where is everybody??

To be fair, to be fair to the Republicans, before they decided to sue the president, they tried official channels of communication to make their voice heard.



REP. JEFF DUNCAN, R-SC (7/30/2014): Rewriting Obamacare is only one of the ways this president has abused his power. ... Last week, I sent the president 21 tweets, which laid out the things that he could do to stop this mess at the border.

Twenty-one tweets! A rallying cry for victory! Twenty-one tweets! Why, that's almost 3,000 characters. Of course, split over the timeline between retweets and @-replies, hashtag-games, in addition to the other billions of pages of tweeting complaints that the president receives every fucking second of the day, can't believe the President wouldn't even take the time to at least "fave" one of those. (audience laughter) Although I guess it is shocking, Congressman, that the medium Chris Brown uses to shit-talk Drake is not an effective legislative tool.

So House Republicans decided to spend their last hours in session indulging in empty time-wasting political theater. House Democrats were left only one option—impotent anger.



REP. BILL PASCRELL, D-NJ (7/30/2014): The fact of the matter is that the American people are tired of the relentless partisanship that has led the Congress to having a lower approval rating than head lice.

Oh-ho! Lower than head lice! Wait... wait, do you hear that? I hear a celebration. Chuck, can we get a close-up of the celebration?

"We did it!"

"We're not the most hated thing!"

Good for you, head lice, good for you! And as for you, pubic lice, hang in there.

(audience groans)

Congress keeps going the way it's going, you'll get your shot. We'll be right back.