"Kiwi men need to shut up and listen to the counter-narratives of Kiwi women. We need to challenge the bloke stereotype and hold each other in check."

Let's not water down this issue - New Zealand society is embedded with patriarchal misogyny.



We claim to be a fair and equal country when it comes to the wellbeing of women, and we usually parade the 1893 right for women to vote as a sign of our commitment to women's rights.

But, let's be clear, that's absolute bulls.... New Zealand is a sexist country. Reverting back to the 1893 electoral reform to signify our social fervor for gender rights is like saying we have great race relations because the Treaty of Waitangi was signed.



This week's alleged sexual assault of a woman at the Chiefs' end of season celebrations highlights a tragic facet of Kiwiana that most of us either choose to ignore or diminish.

Margaret Comer, an executive for Gallagher, a corporate sponsor of the Super rugby franchise, blamed the woman for the situation, although she has since apologised. Ironically Comer is a trustee on the board of Waikato Women's Refuge.

READ MORE:

* Stripper speaks out, alleges Chiefs players inappropriately touched her

* Jacinda Ardern: Chiefs scandal stripped bare

* Kevin Roberts resignation welcomed after storm over gender diversity comments

* Pro-rape group leader could be barred from New Zealand

The truth is that New Zealand social norms are geared to the detriment of women's lives. We are a misogynistic nation. Even when cases of rape and assault are taken through the justice system, which is often extremely clinical and cold, women are left with a whole lot of trauma and no justice.



Let's face it, our social institutions offer no justice for the wellbeing of women, and our Kiwi culture perpetuates harm to women on a grand scale. Remember the Roast Busters case? A group of young men posting videos online of themselves boasting about having sex with drunk, underage girls.

Or, more recently, the case of Scott Kuggeleijn whereby his lawyer took issue with the complainant's court testimony that she was not able to offer any resistance and was not compelled to call for help as Kuggeleijn allegedly raped her in her bed. Apparently in Male Zealand: when a women says no, it must mean yes.



Some may say that misogyny, like racism, is personal and only a minority of people behave with a patriarchal complex. Again, this is bulls.... When women receive lower wages than men for the same jobs, is that personal or systemic? When trans women are sexually assaulted by prison guards, is that something we should ignore? When our domestic violence statistics are the highest in the world, should we dismiss this atrocious fact?

As a cis male, I can never talk in the space of women's rights without inadvertently exercising my male privilege. I can never speak on behalf of or for women and this article is not trying to mansplain Kiwi misogyny. This is an observation of how patriarchal acts of violence towards women don't just appear out of thin air, rather they are conditioned norms that are created and perpetuated by male dominance.



Kiwi men need to shut up and listen to the counter-narratives of Kiwi women. We need to challenge the “Kiwi bloke” stereotype and we need to hold each other in check. Role models are a major facet in creating change. If being able to play sports well and chug back a box of beers while making sexist remarks is the threshold for role models, then it's no wonder we have a problem with sexism.

Most importantly, Kiwi men need to dialogue about how we can contribute to dismantling misogyny in Aotearoa New Zealand.



Let's change Kiwi culture. Let's tear down patriarchy. Let's acknowledge that Male Zealand exists and needs to go.

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