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(By Thitu Kariba) Many people have asked me before whether oral sex is a yes or a no in terms of the Christian bedroom and it’s about time we discussed it. I figure that the best place to start is at the beginning so let’s do that and take it right back to the book of Genesis. God made man, then woman, and the two became one flesh, one being. This describes the union of marriage and then also describes the consummation of that marriage and that is why marriage is not marriage till there is consummation. The couple is to be one mentally, spiritually and physically. On that note we see that sex is God’s idea and seeing as all good things come from God let us just be clear that sex is a good thing.

There is the right way and the wrong way to go about having sex, for one sex outside marriage is a no no. As much as many people think this is so backdated and holy, it is neither fashionable nor trendy as it is something put in place to protect us. Sex out of marriage is like driving without a license. Take a minute and think about how much more hectic things would be if you got into an accident without a license… regardless of how it happened the one without a driving license is in the wrong. Whereas getting pregnant without having planned for it in a marriage would be welcome (usually) out of marriage, it is hardly met with celebration at first. So on that note… no ringy…..no dingy!

Now that you are married you may go ahead and have all the sex you like. Part of sex is the language used, the touch, the foreplay and yes even the oral sex. Many times the way I go about a thing is that if it is not clarified in the bible but is medically alright, then it’s doable. Oral sex is not medically harmful to your health, in fact in many cases women are unable to reach an orgasm any other way, and sometimes it really helps to relax her. Some men like it while others do not and usually it is because it is not done right. In a marriage, one of the things you have to come to learn is how to please or satisfy your partner sexually and if you are down for going down then get learning.

Biblically, we are NOT to have sex with animals, people of the same sex, children, and anyone who is not your spouse. Medically speaking, anal sex is not recommended as that part of the body is not created to expand and contract as a woman is. This means that later on, one could develop hemorrhoids that are painful and at times need to be surgically controlled and also leakage that could have one wearing diapers.

Toys are not something I would recommend either, as I said learn to please each other, many toys are designed to do what man cannot and as such many women then find that their men are not able to do to them what a toy can, this could cause trouble in paradise. This also goes for masturbation. Sex is a two way street and it should be for the man and woman to enjoy together. So let it be.

A few pointers on oral sex

Its always good to keep clean, take a shower before if you can.

Wives, this is a very sensitive area so please do not bite.

Husbands, when in doubt ask and when you cannot I have heard working your way through the alphabet is bound to get you there.

Husbands, a woman’s secret garden is just as sensitive as your own so be gentle

Do not be afraid to give instructions

Play with temperature, ice and warm water when attending to your husband.

As an end note, not everyone is ok with oral sex and that is alright. Find out why your spouse feels that way if it is an issue and be patient. There are other great ways of spicing up your marital bed without going down, so no you do not have to go down to be down and Yes you can still go down and be down with the man upstairs.

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