Boris Johnson hails successful trial of post-Brexit rolling power blackouts

One million people were left without power for much of yesterday and survived, an experience which the Prime Minister has said bodes extremely well for life in Brexit Britain.

Train passengers were stranded, traffic lights failed to work and thousands of homes were plunged into darkness during the blackout.

“These rolling power blackouts will be commonplace after Brexit,” said Boris Johnson to reporters this morning.

“So having these trial runs will put us all in good stead for life as an independent nation. With a bit of mental gymnastics, you could almost view them as one of the Brexit dividends. Somehow.

“During these times our carbon footprint will be reduced, and no-one died yesterday, did they?”

He concluded, “There’s no harm to be had in fumbling around blindly in the dark, unless of course you’re making love to one of your mistresses and can’t find a condom – but enough about my private life.”

Scotland was completely unaffected by the power outage yesterday, which provided a strong metaphor for those calling for IndyRef2.