Opinion

The first time it happened it came as a bit of a shock.

There I was standing in a check out line minding my own business when a stranger suddenly reached out and placed her hand on my protruding belly.

I had never had to deal with random people wanting to rub my belly before, but now that I was pregnant it seemed as though I should be ready and waiting. The belly rubber was an older woman. We had a quick conversation about pregnancy and how special your first is. I spent the 15-second encounter forcing myself to act casual and fighting the urge to move my bulge away from the lingering hand.

Once it was over, I remember thinking how odd it was that a complete stranger had touched me on my stomach. That is until it happened again, and again, and again. After the third or fourth touching incident, I then learned to be prepared for the reality that strangers at any moment could reach out and start buffing my belly. Despite the fact that the experience initially made me uncomfortable, I began to accept it as a part of being pregnant. I almost felt as though I was being rude if I didn't let strangers touch me. Pregnant women should expect to have their bellies rubbed, right? Wrong.

This week Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau was photographed touching the pregnant belly of one of his candidates at a Montreal campaign event and it spurred some discussion about politicians and whether rubbing pregnant bellies falls in line with shaking hands and kissing babies. In the photo, Trudeau is smiling and resting his hand on Liberal candidate Christine Poirier's eight-month pregnant stomach. When asked about the belly rub, Poirier said Trudeau didn't ask permission before touching her tummy, but that it's something that happens to her several times a day with strangers and that no permission was required from the party leader. She called it a "perfectly natural, normal gesture" and said she doesn't mind having her belly touched.

While it could be true that Poirier doesn't mind having her belly rubbed by random strangers and politicians, this is not true for everyone. Some women find it uncomfortable, an invasion of personal space or in some cases go as far as to call it harassment. In Pennsylvania, a man reportedly faced possible harassment charges after touching a pregnant woman's belly when she told him not to. Although this case is as extreme as it gets, other women are taking preventive measures such as wearing anti-belly-touching T-shirts warning strangers to keep their hands to themselves. The maternity shirts have messages such as "Hands off my bump," "Touch the belly, lose a hand," or "I'm pregnant, not a petting zoo" printed across them.

I would never go as far as to lay charges or wear one of these shirts, but it seems some women feel it is necessary. Normally, we wouldn't think it's acceptable to touch a stranger's stomach, so why, when there is a baby growing inside, do we suddenly deem belly-groping to be appropriate? When there is a baby growing inside it seems like a circumstance where we should be even more careful and considerate about touching. Strangers, acquaintances and Liberal leaders should ask first. When I was pregnant, I would have appreciated being asked permission because, at the very least, it would have given me a heads-up about what was about to happen and I would have felt I had a bit more control. Ultimately, we all have the right to have control over our own bodies and decide who gets to rub our bellies.

As for those who choose not to ask permission, I say pregnant woman start giving those touchy-feely strangers a good belly rub in return to see how they like it. Based on my initial experience, I'm guessing it will come as a bit of a shock.

Deirdre Healey is a local freelance writer.