How To Win Friends & Influence People, written by Dale Carnegie, is the only book you need to lead you to success.

Here’s what you need to know:

FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE

Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

“Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him or her strive to justify himself or herself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.”

B.F. Skinner, a world famous psychologist proved that an animal rewarded for good behaviour will learn much more rapidly than an animal punished for bad behaviour. This study ALSO applies to humans.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain- and most do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats the little men.

2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.

There is only one way to get anybody to do anything and it is by making the other person want to do it.

Psychologist Sigmund Freud said that everything humans do comes from two motives: the sex urge and the desire to be great.

The deepest urge in human nature is “the desire to be important.” We crave being appreciated and complimented.

Charles Schwab, one of the first people to be paid a salary of over a million dollars a year, said that it was largely due to his ability to deal with people. Was he the smartest man for the job? No. But what he did have was an ability to arouse enthusiasm among his employees.

Schwab said that the greatest way to develop the best in a person is by appreciation & encouragement.

There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.

Sincere appreciation is a secret to success in handling people. We often take our employees, spouses, friends and family so much for granted that we never let them know we appreciate them. There is nothing people need more of than nourishment to their self-esteem.

Appreciation is different from flattery.

Flattery is counterfeit, because you are telling them what they want to hear. It is simply cheap praise.

Appreciation is sincere, unselfish and comes from the heart, while flattery is insincere and selfish.

Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.

We should never forget that all our associates are human beings and hunger for appreciation. It is what ALL souls enjoy.

Honest appreciation gets results where criticism and ridicule fails.

3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Of course you are interested in what YOU want. But no one else is, because the rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want. With this in mind, the only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

The best piece of advice for persuaders is: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

The only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the person wants.

If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.

Atleast 90% of the people on this earth ignore it 90% of the time!!!

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