The now-infamous (and problematic) clip of a white woman walking down the streets of Manhattan being harassed by men (most of whom were men of color) has spawned a legion of other videos highlighting the same issue. Although personally I found Jessica William’s Feminized Atmosphere from several months ago to be more poignant and less culpable for feeding into stereotypes about Black and Latino men, I’m pleased that we have at least entered into a dialogue about street harassment and how complex and pervasive an issue it is in our culture.

I knew it was only a matter of time before someone would feature a member of the LGBT community. Now, to my understanding, the young man chosen to walk in different neighborhoods of Manhattan is not, in fact, gay. I want to make a point: I don’t care about his de facto sexual orientation - I care about his PERCEIVED sexuality and more importantly his blatant rebellion against acceptable gender norms and refusal to embody the status quo.

Most of the negative commentary about the video in question is coming from other gay men. They talk about how “ridiculous” and “flamboyant” the young man is. He is featured wearing a tight v-neck, bright-colored skinny jeans, and perhaps most “offensive” is the small Victoria’s Secret bag he is carrying. The gays are up in arms, upset at the creators for describing him as “dressed as a homosexual,” and justifiably so. Homosexuals (or gay men, as most of like to be called in 2014) do not have a uniform way of expressing ourselves along any metric - speech, clothing, etc.

However, what is relevant to explore is the accuracy of the various encounters the actor had in the three hours of walking down the streets in Manhattan. Now, any true New Yorker (especially one that falls so visibly outside of mainstream norms) knows that you never stroll casually without purpose or make eye contact, especially with groups of young, presumably straight men.

My straight friends (including the women) are often shocked when I tell them about some of the experiences I have had just trying to get from point A to point B. Except for being aggressively followed, I have experienced everything this young man has.

I have learned that in order to successfully navigate a cultural climate that is not especially forgiving of effeminacy in men, I have to take certain precautions when walking by myself, even in the daytime. During the day, I always wear sunglasses. I listen to loud music, preferably hip-hop that makes me feel like I own the street. I tend to smoke, spit, walk confidently with purpose, and rarely do I make eye contact with men.

It’s likely that some of my gay friends may even find this surprising. But many of my gay friends also do not paint their nails or carry a purse, both of which I enjoy to do from time to time. I firmly believe that the personal is political. I also subscribe to the idea of visibility as crucial to our empowerment as members of a disenfranchised community.

For years as a young teen, I lived in shame because of my femininity and the insurmountable task of hiding it in an attempt to emulate the “good gays,” the ones who turned heads in the club and even homophobes were able to tolerate. I succumbed to the allure of heavy drinking (among other things) to ease my anxiety at being so visibly different from everyone I knew as a teenager.



To the gays who demonize the video - I feel you. But please, take a step back. The problem is not with how gay this guy is, but rather with society at large and your internalized fear of femininity. I still struggle with this fear regularly, but whole-heartedly subscribe the the intersection of Black and Feminist thought in Lorde’s radical ideas that the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.

I present the way I do because it is who I am. Some of you may disagree. And that’s okay. I only ask that you think about the direction of your anger in response to the video. If you’re angry at the femme faggot you see, check yourself and your priorities. Reflect for a moment about why you are demonizing him instead of the culture that allows for the encounters portrayed in the video.

Now if you’ll all excuse me, my nails are a hot mess and I have to run to the salon right quick.