They say that it’s in your 20s when you really learn who you are and who you want to be. While I don’t know yet if thats true, I’ve certainly learned a lot about myself, about other people and what it means to be a gay 20-something.

Here’s a list of 57 things I’ve learned (so far) about being gay in my 20s:

Sex is not like it is in porn You don’t need to go to every gay dance party just because it’s a long weekend Sleeping with someone because you’re lonely won’t make you feel less lonely You will never find love when you’re desperate to be loved You can’t make people like you The best relationships start with someone being brave enough to say hello The more time you spend at the gym, the less content you will be with your body You’re happier when you’re eating carbs Brains, ambition, confidence and a sense of humour are harder to find than abs, biceps and a big chest Messaging your ex-boyfriend when you’re drunk on Saturday night is not a good idea Sundays are more fun when you’re not hung-over Devoting time to do charity will make you happier than only devoting time to yourself Gratitude is the key to happiness Don’t compare yourself to others You are not a real housewife of NYC or Beverly Hills or Orange County Everyone is just as confused as you are The people who you think have their shit together are often the most messed up The number of selfies you take is inversely proportianate to how good you feel about yourself “Liking” something on Instagram will never replace a compliment delivered in person The less time you spend on social media the happier you will be You don’t need to take your shirt off every time you’re in a place with more than 10 gays FOMO fades overtime when you realize that there’s not really much to miss out on Enjoy the moment Having a photographer take your picture does not a model make Wear what you want It’s better to be disliked for being yourself than to be liked for trying to be someone else You don’t have to have your life in order by 27 Use your head and heart as often as you use your penis It’s best to leave some things to the imagination The most intriguing people are the ones you know the least about Happy couples aren’t always happy Not everything needs to be shared on social media Get over your slutty phase as soon as possible before you develop a reputation Sometimes mornings alone with Sean Cody are better than mornings in bed with some random Sleeping with straight boys is like drinking tequila, it seems like a fun idea at the time but you’ll regret it in the morning You may think you fell in love in Mykonos but it won’t last when you both go home Always wear a condom Your heart will be broken but it will eventually mend Don’t place your self worth in other people’s hands If you can’t find any gay role models, try to become one Surround yourself with people who inspire you It’s never too late to start Be careful who you send nude pictures to Snapchats can be saved You might make new friends but the best ones are those who have been there the whole time The guys you party with don’t necessarily have your best interests at heart If you’re feeling down, talk to someone, chances are they’ve felt the same way You can sit with us You don’t need to shave your chest hair Just because you love Gaga and Britney doesn’t mean you can’t listen to The Hives It may be in fashion but it doesn’t mean it’s going to suit you Bleaching your hair was a bad idea Plan for where you want to be in 10 years There’s more to you than your sexuality You are not better than anyone else Be kind to others There’s still so much you don’t know

Image by Sharif Hamza for VMAN Magazine

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