Nation's Churches Provide Fog Machines For Families Worshiping At Home

U.S.—To provide a more authentic atmosphere for families forced to worship at home thanks to Coronavirus fears, the nation's churches graciously donated fog machines to their members for worship this past Sunday.

Churches have been grappling with the logistical implications of worshiping remotely. Is a church still a church if everyone is assembling separately in his own home? What about those with no or poor internet connections? And most importantly, how would people worship Jesus in spirit and truth without a fog machine and complex laser light shows?

"Now you can have a genuine time of worship and move of the Holy Spirit at home," said Pastor Jek Lantus in Portland as he set up a fog machine in an elderly woman's house. "It's just our little love gift, our little way to love on people, our way to incarnationally live out the gospel in a gospelly, gospel-centered way."

The fog machines use advanced technology that times them with the worship music, so when the chorus of "Holy Spirit" arrives, it's pumping out clouds like a vaping youth pastor. Then, when the sermon hits, it lays low for a while, so people can see the pastor's expensive sneakers and designer jeans through the haze.

"It's just like worshiping at our mega sanctuary. But make sure to turn your speakers on loud enough to blow your eardrums out for best results."

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee