Continue Reading Below Advertisement

Like I said, The Avengers and Guardians Of The Galaxy are Marvel's biggest hits with women because they have ensemble casts that include female superheroes in central roles -- something the ladies in the audience value even more than Thor's abs, apparently. There are probably countless young girls who left those movies wanting to be Black Widow or Gamora. Unfortunately, as far as Marvel is concerned, those girls should stick to Barbies and ponies.

As Cracked told you recently, Black Widow is like the redheaded stepchild of the Avengers when it comes to stuff you can actually buy. She gets lots of screen time in the movies, which is good, but any kid who wants a toy of her is better off making one out of Play-Doh. It's so bad that even Mark "chillest guy to ever play the Hulk" Ruffalo called Marvel out:

twitter.com/markruffalo

He was promptly replaced with Edward Norton Eric Bana SMART LOOKING ACTOR for his insolence.

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

There's an entire blog that does nothing but point out how Black Widow is nowhere to be found on Avenger's merchandise. We could see some executive getting away with saying that boys wouldn't play with a girl action figure, even though that is obviously bullshit (and what about the girls who want those action figures?), but here are some other things that Black Widow's presence would apparently ruin:

butnotblackwidow.tumblr.com

Christmas ...

butnotblackwidow.tumblr.com

School ...