Twitter is a ferocious battle ground, especially when it come to the preaching of the dangers of ‘Patriarchy’. It may surprise some that as a female researcher in the field of domestic violence, I experience virulent arguments regarding my so-called oppression as a woman in the world, on a daily basis. Not from men or men’s rights activists, but by feminists and feminist scholars. Who insist that as a woman I am oppressed and powerless. That I should live in constant fear of rape or in continuous rage, as I am systematically disrespected, dismissed or discriminated against. The picture that is presented by this model bears scant comparison to my own experience, but this is pushed aside as ignorance or internalised misogyny.

Any challenges to the feminist ideology, such as discussing male victims of female perpetrated abuse, are met with derision, accusation and outright attack. Including mean girl school yard name calling, patronising smugness of ‘oh you will be [oppressed]’ and harassment. These come from self identified feminists, who seem to take great interest in my lack of oppression.

Worryingly, the behaviours displayed by some in this social media debate, are indicative of erroneous thinking often associated with concerns around mental health. Described as cognitive distortion, these exaggerated or irrational ways of thinking have a negative impact on the individual as well as those around them.

These thinking errors prevent individuals from making accurate assessments of their experiences. Leading them to getting the wrong end of the stick, jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst of situations and others. Creating false connections and correlations that shape perception of the world in which they function, into one that is disordered and constantly threatening.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) works to correct such faulty ways of thinking, to reframe or restructure these thought patterns into rational processes. With the end goal being that the individual affected learns to recognise and manage these negative thought patterns to gain an improved and more realistic outlook on the world around them.

So why might feminism need CBT? Let’s take a look at 7 of the most common cognitive distortions that are identified and treated using CBT; together with examples of some of the responses witnessed within this arena.

1. Polarised Thinking – If you’re not a feminist you’re against equality!

This all or nothing, black and white way of thinking manifests as an unwillingness or inability to see shades of grey or nuanced options. Something is good or bad – right or wrong! Often leading to extreme emotions and behaviours. Online, I see this most often when I talk about domestic abuse. When I discuss female victims, my work is regarded as important by feminists. However, if I point out that men are also victims of female perpetrators, I am called a misogynist, a ‘pick me’, a traitor to the cause. As this is played as a zero-sum game, mentioning men is taken as a rejection of women’s suffering instead of a call for inclusive strategies to tackle important issues.

2. Overgeneralisation – All men are scum!

Here one example is generalised to everything associated with that instance. Which can lead to overly negative thoughts about the whole environment or a group of people. Identifiable by the use of words such as always, never, people are…

We see this everywhere in feminism but most profoundly when men are identified as a ‘class. Any actions taken by the few are extrapolated to an entire population. For radical feminists, crimes that are committed by a minuscule proportion of men are instantly applied to ‘all men’… men are rapists, men are oppressors, men are bad.

A perfect example of this was demonstrated recently on an ABC Australia Q&A panel, when the prominent feminist Mona Eltahawy asked “how many rapists do we have to kill before men stop raping women”. The cognitive distortion here is that the rapists referred to are men, overgeneralised thinking therefore surmises that ‘men’ as an entire population are rapist, and by default all women are potential victims of this ever present threat.

Although appalling for the victims this is not something that can be applied to ALL men. Clearly the assertion put forward is distorted and irrational but is held as a ‘call to violence’ for women and heralded within certain feminist circles.

3. Filtering – ‘Citation Needed’!

Mental filtering is a problem with information processing, where a person (here group) applies a filter that only acknowledges information that fits with their belief system. Evidence that does not align tends to be ignored or adapted to fit the accepted model.

I’m sure many of us have witnessed this and found it utterly confounding. For example, how could anyone ignore the vast amount of scientifically robust data that shows that women are as, or even more, likely to commit domestic abuse as men. The answer is that this filtering sifts the information, discarding it as irrelevant, untrue or ‘backlash’. Any challenge to such thinking is incendiary. Again, met with instantaneous name calling; misogynist, pick me, patriarchal handmaiden…you get the drift.

4. Labelling – ALL men are ‘Toxic’!

A basic form of overgeneralisation whereby judgements or blame can be assigned to an event, place person or an entire population. Based on highly emotional, loaded and inaccurate language. If a population is labelled as ‘bad’ those that hold such beliefs are very likely to get angry at anyone that they perceive to fit this label.

This is exemplified for feminist ideology in two word… ‘Toxic Masculinity’. That enables feminists to equate any man as being ‘bad’ by accident of birth. This label is used to make men culpable for any misfortune they experience – a perfectly developed ‘victim blaming’ tool that proclaims to want to help men…piffle! Feminists use this label to show men just how ‘bad’ they really are. It is also interesting that there is no equivalent for women, even when they demonstrate the exact same behaviours.

5. Mind Reading – I’ll tell you what you’re thinking!

Without any questioning, a person that demonstrates this type of thinking instantly assumes to know the motivations, thoughts and feelings of another. Which are inevitably considered to be bad, wrong or detrimental.

For me, this happens most when I say that I don’t accept the feminist framework. Immediately I am told that I should hand back my right to vote, be protected or to work, as I am clearly undeserving of equality. As I don’t agree with the complete feminist ideology then according to this ‘mind reading’ I am against female equality and by default wish women to be kept as handmaidens to the patriarchy.

With very little investigation it would become obvious that I believe fully in equality, but for everyone, regardless of gender. Furthermore, I spend a great deal of my academic life researching female victims of domestic abuse, which I hope will serve to enable better life outcomes for female survivors. Additionally, I am myself a survivor of domestic abuse, which was perpetrated by a man. But that doesn’t matter…conclusions have made that are now set in stone.

6. Catastrophising – Danger, Danger, Patriarchy!!!

A terrifying skewing of perception, this distorted thinking involves exaggeration or minimising of meaning, importance or likelihood of events. Manifesting as rumination about irrational, worst case outcomes, that leaves those experiencing this way of thinking in a perpetual hyper-vigilant state of terror.

You will recognise this in feminist thinking – women are in constant peril and can’t leave the house without fear of being attacked but men’s needs do not require focus because they are privileged. All men are potential sexual predators and all women are potential victims! Women can’t even walk down the street without this danger hanging over their every step!

Is it any wonder that women that subscribe to the feminist ethos feel so threatened when this catastrophic way of existing is promoted by the very ideology that professes to protect them?

7. Emotional reasoning – I feel it so it’s true! (unless you don’t feel it then it’s not)

Considered one of the most important of thinking errors to address and common in feminism, is the tendency to accept feelings as fact… “I feel oppressed so I must be”. A kind of vicious circle of feelings that compound beliefs that exaggerate feelings… and round and round we go. Even though western women, according to feminist standards, are more equal now than they have ever been in history.

I’m sure we have all succumbed to this at some point but for feminists it is part of the fabric of their ideology …lived experience trumps logic. That is unless you don’t feel it – in which case your ‘lived experience’ is either dismissed or you are told that you will feel it soon…when you try to get a job or have children or get older! Thereby claiming that the omnipresent ‘Patriarchy’ will get you in the end, and of course feminism will be there for you when it does.

Disturbingly these distorted ways of thinking are perpetuated across popular media, used to gain substantial funding, as well as to develop government policy and laws. Accepting this way of thinking is problematic for everyone. Indeed, we could be accused of colluding in the continued harm to those that show these unhealthy behaviours by not challenging these cognitive distortions. With this in mind, it’s time to hold an intervention and send Feminism to cognitive behavioural therapy. Let’s hope it feels better soon – for everyone’s sake.