Bo Bergman, a 73-year-old Swedish man living in the quiet locality of Simlångsdalen (population about 500) is not reading this right now. This is because Bo Bergman really hates the internet. Like, a lot.


In fact, Bo Bergman's distaste for the festering contagion that is our precious information superhighway has grown so strong that he felt compelled to pen a call to action, one that was ultimately published in his local paper. Bo Bergman's one, little request? Shut it down. Shut the whole goddamn internet down.

The letter was already ridiculous in its native Swedish, but run the piece through Google Translate, and you walk away with an absolute masterpiece. A Luddite's dream of overblown technological fatalism, with an icing of machine translation. Here is the Google-translated piece in its entirety, but you can head over to Hallandsposten to see the manifesto in all its original glory.

Technology. I am come from the analog time because I seem to see today's world from the perspective of the younger ones can not do, it's because they have nothing to compare to. I am 40-baby boom, and to view the "blindness" of the young is deeply depressing. I mean precisely that, by and large, have now become slaves of machines. When Jesus never came, saw computer technology and the Internet as a savior. Look around, everywhere people standing and staring at a computer screen! Take any workplace, doctor, bookseller, go in every single place, use your eyes and your brain, and think!Outrageously! This "computer prostitution" many are forced to, in order to have food on the tables. Unequivocally, it takes several times longer today to perform an errand, than 20 years ago.Everywhere, everywhere, codes and other things should be kept in the head, to write them down, then they may be stolen and exploited. And is made. Are there any who can deny it unbearably lengthy procedures surrounding everything from a cup of coffee, a great deal?And if the power goes out, it stops everything! Everything!Pharmacy, medical center, hospital, train, plane, everything stops, and even business doors! The Internet has become the criminals and the self Sick great forum! All that evil is rampant as weeds, and everything just spreads. My suggestion: Shut down the internet! You can not have gone too far, says surely you. Non! Return the Internet to the Military Department, if at all, before everything collapses. Scrap maybe there too. Human beings are designed for analog technology = hands that move towards a meter. It's all come from the discovery of the sundial. So we measured the first time sooner. Our genes are "analog". If someone says that the clock is for example 13:47, what does that say?Nothing, hard to understand. But looking at an analog clock, and you understand immediately! What do you others who have "stuck in the trap"?

[Hallandsposten via TheLocal.se via Fark]

Image: Shutterstock/Bruce Rolff