Now you might be thinking that this blog’s title is a bit redundant if it’s a conspiracy theory than it’s sure to be BS, right? Well, that’s because soon we’ll be covering some Gnostic conspiracy theories that are true (or have a strong element of truth to them), but in this installment, we’re tackling the hogwash and the flim-flam that have attached themselves to Gnosticism where sometimes the Gnostics are the heroes and more often than not the villains.

And these Gnostic conspiracy theories are frighteningly common, and there’s a good chance plenty of you readers encountered them online or heard them live in person and if so please tell us about it in the comments section (and of course tell us about some we left out).

Gnostics Revealed the Truth About the Shape Shifting Lizard People Who Rule the World

A shockingly common conspiracy theory is that the world is ruled by a cabal of humanoid lizards who either come from space or another dimension and who can shapeshift into a human appearance. Many bankers, politicians, and famous Hollywood stars, are actually lizards! Some believers have latched onto Gnostic scriptures as proof of this because some of the Gnostic texts describe malevolent spiritual archons (a word that just means “ruler”) who are described as having serpentine and reptilian features….LIZARD PEOPLE.

Needless to say that even a cursory reading of the texts shows that there’s no evidence of Lizard People and one must cherry pick, mistranslate, and stretch the interpretation of the documents, to read this theory into them.

19th Century Gnostic Groups & the Queen of England Run the Drug Trade, Rule the World

Conspiracy theories are now mainstream and sprouted by some of the most powerful politicians and media figures, but back when there were on the margins one of the best-known purveyors of conspiratorial claptrap was 8-time presidential candidate Lyndon Larouche. Ostensibly a politician but in actuality something more like a cult leader the now 96-year-old never had much of a chance of winning office but still had a powerful organization dedicated to disseminating his ideas, ideas that include that the British Royal Family are behind the illegal world drug trade and that a cabal of wealthy Jewish families control world events.

It’s the usual garden variety paranoia about interlinked evil elites who are part of one grand unified plan to control everything, but unlike some variations of this all too common malarky his world ruling cabal includes the Martinists and other French Gnostic groups from the 19th century. Martinism is pretty obscure in the, but it’s an esoteric order that has close links to the French Gnostic Church of the 19th century. Honestly, I’m rather fond of Martinism and kind of like seeing it pop up in this unexpected place, though of course, ultimately it’s a wild besmirchment of this noble tradition.

Gnosticism is Responsible For Every Progressive Left Wing Idea

This one goes back to the 1960s and conservative political philosopher Eric Voegelin and is popular in alt-right and extreme fundamentalist circles that any left-wing or progressive idea from feminism to symbolic interpretations of the Bible come directly from Gnosticism. There’s sort of two forms of this, one is that these ideas were introduced into Western culture by the Gnostics and have basically sunk into our culture for thousands of years and a more extreme version that the elite cabal that controls everything from behind the scenes are the Gnostics and they’re introducing these ideas to weaken society for their own ends.

Now, of course, one can find progressive ideas in the Gnostic scriptures…and conservative ideas…and lots of ideas! But understanding ancient scriptures through our modern political context doesn’t wholly work, and regardless it’s just not true that Gnosticism hung around for thousands of years to create progressive politics and as much as I wish a cabal of secret commie Gnostics run the world it ain’t so.