Japanese bureaucrats apparently have the most amazing multi-tasking powers on earth. Topping the dude who basically wrote the Gundam Wikipedia while at work, a 57-year-old civil servant in Kinokawa was busted for beating it to 780,000 porn pages in nine months. That's 10,000 a day, 20 a minute at his most furious fapping. All on the job (maybe he could stop time, like Hiro). He was finally busted when he had tech support look at his computer after he picked up a virus—his coworkers thought nothing of the weird noises emanating from his cubicle. For nine months. The best part? The dude was only demoted. Probably for not being efficient enough. [The Inquirer]

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