Women, runs an Indian joke, were the reason the British lost India. Indians managed a working relationship with the men but when the prissy women landed with their flouncy dresses and aversion to the heat, it was time for independence.

Asian women in Britain, however, are coping with the heat; that of the rat race and the heart. As many as 220,000 are in the work force, 62,000 in "grade A" professional/managerial positions and many outstrip their Asian male counterparts in achievement and financial independence.

In love, while the men retreat back "home" to find accommodating brides, a visibly growing number of these women are winning the hearts of white colleagues and friends. Currently it's more a social than statistical trend, but one I've started investigating.

Bask, if you will, in the early reviews: "There's less pressure in snogging a white guy. If the relationship works, great, if not, you can remain friends. With Asian guys you only meet them with an eye to marriage. So, you can't risk a physical relationship unless marriage is definitely on the cards."

"They're open minded and accept you for what you are. They see you as a woman, not an object."

"You can be yourself with them, not scared that you'll slip up and reveal yourself to be a 'bad girl'."

The freedom from inhibitions is a recurring theme. It's particularly pertinent to sexual attitudes. There is a consensus amongst the women that (outside marriage) they have to overcome many psychological/emotional hurdles with Asian men before they can be as sexually expressive as they would like. Without the safety net of a pending wedding there is the nagging fear that if you enter into a sexual relationship you will be branded "cheap / easy."

"With Asian boyfriends you don't always tell the truth about your past sexual history for fear of being judged."

Lack of "bullshit" and being appreciated "for the smallest things" were popular qualities. "Asian women are used to looking after men. We learn it from our mothers. European men appreciate being looked after and tell you so."

So much for the "we come to praise" the caring, sharing white man. When it comes to anything longer-term, however, many of the women prefer to bury that possibility. "Life with a white guy would be easier but I'd still rather marry an Asian because of culture and things."

"Things", include; religion, family, friends and society at large. Interestingly, the greatest opposition to mixed marriages comes from the younger women. Familial and cultural obligations loom large even for those born and raised in Britain.

"Issues of extended family and reputation still come first. Yes, they're a burden,"

"I don't have what it takes to deal with the external pressures about 'going with white boys'. I don't want to put my supportive immediate family through the scorn of "community."

"I see nothing wrong with mixed relationships. It's often a phase that Asians go through but before contemplating the long-term difficulties of marrying into another community when they generally decide against it. Of-course I'd think twice if Brad Pitt came calling!"

Societal pressure isn't all one sided. "I couldn't stand the sour glances from waitresses when we went out."

"His friends would ask him within earshot of me why he wanted to go out with a 'Paki.' I was gob-smacked."

More personal gripes included: "White guys have commitment problems. Boy, do they run from it!"

"They should open their wallets more. They're as stingy as hell! They don't ever want to buy you dinner unless there's bed and breakfast on offer as a payoff!"

Thirtysomethings were the most likely to contemplate marriage. Some only dated white men and actively sought a long-term future with one. "I don't think it's a question of race so much as having a 'type'. Boris Becker likes a particular type of black girl. People go for different looks and that look may be a specific race."

Ultimately one happily married woman summed it thus; "Our personalities fitted, It was a better cultural fit. I grew up here, my sense of humour and values are British. It was the little things that decided it."