(Picture: Ella Byworth/ Shutterstock)

According to the government, around 30% of UK children are now considered ‘poor’.

It’s a shocking figure, and a damning indictment given that we’re one of the richest countries in the world. Of course, it’s relative poverty, which means they might still have all the necessities but, when their parents’ incomes are put against the average, aren’t as well off.

One of the things that are often overlooked when it comes to talking about childhood poverty is how it can affect the way you behave as an adult – even if you manage to break out of it. Particularly, how you relate to money and savings.



Growing up, I was never in abject poverty. My mum and dad always worked, and always had food on the table. But, like for many families, money was tight. They lived pay-check to pay-check and, while they tried to shield their struggles from me in my early years, it became clear as I got older that I wasn’t anywhere near as wealthy as some of my classmates.


Thanks to the Scottish education system I was able to go to uni with minimal debt, and now have a decent job and can support myself in London. My parents have also progressed in their jobs and now live comfortably, without needing to scrimp like they once did.

However, a lot of those psychological effects of being the ‘poor kid’ still stay with me.

It’s always a feast or a famine

Money to me feels like a completely unpredictable resource. Growing up, there was always a feeling that when we had money, it could go as quickly as it came. The boiler breaking or a debt collection company taking more than their fair share could ruin the already short-lived high of some cash coming in. So, why not get the kids McDonald’s and a toy, and enjoy life for just a moment, before responsibility sets in?

Poverty can tempt you to spend everything you have it before it’s taken away from you. Obviously, this is a hugely counterproductive way to be, and these days it’s not rare to find me treating myself like a queen on payday week, then living off of packet noodles for the rest of the month.

It’s a hard one to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it, but you instinctively need the joy of not being skint because you’re always ready for it to be gone again. Needless to say, saving is often an afterthought.

(Picture: Getty images)

There’s a sense of shame around money

If you grew up without much, you will undoubtedly have lasting memories of feeling embarrassed. Mine are comprised of the standard fodder, like missing out on pricey school trips, and getting teased for not having the ‘cool’ trainers. As an adult, you understand that these were completely reasonable sacrifices for your parents, but at the time nothing felt more embarrassing that admitting they simply couldn’t afford it.



That still continues today. Where wealthier friends will happily announce that they’re cutting back, I’ll refrain from asking for money back that I’m owed, or insist on buying rounds at the pub so I don’t ‘look’ poor.

It permeates everything, from feeling anxious about eating the free food in the office kitchen, to finding wild excuses to get out of things you can’t afford to do (‘sorry Janet, I can’t make your hen party, I’ve come down with a rare case of avian flu’).

Debt feels way too normal

My mum will absolutely kill me for saying this, but when we were little, my brother and I knew how to answer the phone to the bailiffs. Mum and dad weren’t home, but they could call back another time. Funnily enough, the next time they called, our parents weren’t home again. Either they were onto us, or thought we were being severely neglected.

Parents shield their kids from their worries and problems, so instead of showing us how scared they were, mum and dad made debt and debt collectors a normal part of the world. If our Mini Metro Rosie broke down, they found the money from somewhere. Not because they wanted to, but because they had to so we could get to school and they could get to work.

(Picture: Myles Goode)

It does kind of desensitise you to the realities of being in debt, though. Although I won’t be taking out a payday loan because I fancy a holiday or shopping spree, when I’ve needed money for flat deposits or unexpected bills, I always find the money no matter what – credit rating be damned.


The foods you crave can sometimes be the worst for you

While supermums like Jack Monroe are able to shop around and cook wholesome, delicious meals on a budget, my parents worked long hours and often just didn’t have the time to trek to eight different supermarkets for the cheapest cuts of meat.

So, while on weekends we’d always have amazing roast dinners and what my mum would call ‘Irish mammy feeds’, weekdays often meant dad throwing some chicken drummers and potato smileys into the oven because it took less time, would be a surefire win with us kids, and was technically cheaper than stocking up on all the cupboard spices and basics (on top of meat and veg) to make something from scratch.

To me, that stuff is now the ultimate comfort food, and when I’m pre-payday, you better believe I’ll spend my last pennies on some fish fingers and white bread rather than making it last with lentils and rice. Just need to get Jamie Oliver to bring back Turkey Twizzlers and I’ll be truly content.

You often have a lot of contempt for people that had it better

I’m very sorry-not-sorry for saying this: If your parents still pay for you as an adult, I think you’re a bit of a sponger.

It is down to sheer bitterness since I put myself through uni, and have worked since I was 15, but there’s something inside me that simply can’t abide by people who had everything handed to them. Added into this is the assumption that many people have, that hard work equals more wealth. My parents grafted tirelessly for me and my brother, so I feel so grateful to them and protective over how much effort they put into giving us a good life.

Similarly, going back to those feelings of shame around being poor, the hate of a thousand suns burn inside me when I see posh girls in east London wearing the very brands I got absolutely rinsed for wearing back in the day (Lonsdale, anyone?). Being skint isn’t an ‘aesthetic’ or something ironic you can poke fun at.


It’s certainly not a ‘woe is me’ tale, and these things will be relatable to a massive amount of people. It’s important to understand the lasting legacy of relative child poverty and try to nip it in the bud before these bad behaviours make it into adulthood.

Shady industries like payday loans and high-interest credit cards need to be understood as necessities for many people who have no other option. Hopefully, that will result in kids being taught about finances earlier so they aren’t taken advantage of if they find themselves in similar situations.

Being poor is never a choice, and we learn by experience. It’s sometimes just a lot harder than you’d think to break out of that mindset – and out of the cycle of poverty – even once you escape.

This article is part of Money Month, our month-long series of features, advice, and experiences about our tricky relationship with all things money.

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