Okay, so I’m not sure how I’m even able to pick up my pencil right now… And I’m already pretty sure I’ll never be able to walk right ever again.

But it’s all totally gonna be worth it… Right?

Or at least, that’s what Tam keeps telling me. This whole thing was all his idea, believe it or not. (Okay, yeah, you can probably believe it).

Once I figured out how I was gonna handle this whole “boring” thing, I realized I needed a plan. Like, it’s not like I can just snap my fingers and magically change or anything. I’ve really gotta work for it. And I needed to figure out where to start.

So at first, I was thinking of just trying to go full-geek like Tam. It probably would’ve been the easiest… I’m basically halfway there already. But then I realized like, how many geeks does a party really need? Tam totally fills our quota for that. And then some.

But it’s just like building a party in D&D. There are some classes you can never really have enough of, right?

Tam came over after school yesterday, and we talked about it for a while. He says I should try dumping most of my points into Strength right now because, and I quote, “Who can resist a sexy Barbarian?”

Ha! Yeah… Not sure about the ‘sexy’ part. But I think he might be right… ‘Cause like, nobody can resist someone who’s all athletic and muscly and in good shape, right? It’s pretty much like, scientifically proven, basically.

Like, if you wanna be all weird and look at it in terms of like, evolution or whatever, it’s all about survival of the fittest… Literally.

Back when everyone was living in caves and eating berries and smashing each other on the head with sticks and shit, only the fastest and strongest survived, right? And if you were looking for someone to mate with, like… I’m pretty sure you’re gonna pick the ripped dude with the six pack who wrestles sabertooth tigers, right? Not the scrawny nerd who likes rolling rocks around and drawing pictures in the sand.

Anyway, fast forward to now and like, it’s basically the same, isn’t it? If you’re in good shape, people are gonna be all over you. I mean, just look at Bryce! Total freaking chick magnet. And he makes it look so easy!

So Tam’s probably right… It’s the best place to start! And I’m already partway there, I think… Like, I’m pretty into watching sports, and I like playing basketball with Papa. That’s gotta count for something, right?

I mean, assuming I don’t keep choking when it counts. Ugh.

After we talked it out, Tam said it was “time for an Athletics check”. So I got out the basketball and, um…

Well, let’s just say if this was actually a game of D&D, I totally botched my roll.

It was so humiliating! I’m usually pretty decent at basketball… But there was just so much pressure. And I hate that.

I get so freaking nervous and it makes me fuck up. And if it’s bad enough to happen in front of Tam, imagine how horribly I might screw up in front of a girl…

But at least no one else saw this time. Well, nobody but the little twerp. She was being all weird and spying on us like she always does when Tam comes over (ugh). But at least she didn’t give me shit for it. Just started giggling and ran back inside.

And Tam was… Well, Tam. He just shrugged like it was no big deal, and told me at least I’m “gaining XP”.

So… yeah, that didn’t go so great. But at least I tried?

Anyway, I figured maybe I needed to start with something else. Like, playing basketball takes focus and talent and practice and stuff. And who the heck has time for that?!

Then I started thinking of Bryce. I mean, the dude’s freaking huge. I swear to God, every minute he’s not at football practice, he’s working out at the gym.

And that’s when it hit me — Sitting around and lifting a few weights? Now that I can handle. It’ll be a total piece of cake.

I probably shouldn’t have tried telling Bryce that though. He looked at me like I had three heads when I asked him to take me to the gym with him today.

Then he laughed.

For like, two minutes straight.

But he decided to take me anyway.

And it was, um… Yeah.

There were so many girls there. A couple of them I’ve run into at school before, but most of them I’d never even seen before. And holy shit…

They were so strong.

And flexible.

And… bouncy.

As much as I wanted to, I tried really hard not to be a total creeper and stare or anything. Which… wasn’t easy. But I tried really hard to just focus on working out and stuff instead.

And I guess it was a little easier to focus, since none of them were staring back either…

Okay, maybe at Bryce, a little. But he didn’t seem to notice? And like, I know Meg would be super happy he didn’t, but come on! All that, and he barely even glanced over at any of them. Not even the ones who were staring.

And I would’ve given like, anything to have them look at me. Even once.

Well…

Actually, it’s probably good they didn’t look this time.

But you know what I mean.

I’ll admit it — maybe it wasn’t quite as easy as I thought it was gonna be… But I’m totally gonna get the hang of it eventually. It’s not too late to turn things around.

I’ll try to play more basketball. I’m gonna keep going to the gym with Bryce. And soon, it’s all gonna start paying off. I’m finally gonna get in shape.

And then one day, I’ll walk into that gym again, and those girls won’t be able to take their eyes off me…

Oh, and like, hopefully they’ll wanna talk to me too and stuff.

But one thing at a time, right?