As young women poured out of the gates of Maharishi Dayanand University recently, walking down the road in the golden light of afternoon, they described the alchemy that takes place when young women from the village mix with classmates from big cities. Some begin illicit romances, something strictly forbidden at home. But for many, the changes are modest ones.

Image CLASHING CULTURES Village life and modernity lie miles apart. Credit... The New York Times

“In the cities, the girls have phones, because parents provide them, but in the village we are not given phones,” said Sunita Meham, 23. “She comes to college and sees that other people are using phones, so she also wants to use one. If her parents agree, and if her friends call her on that phone, they say, ‘Why do you have so many friends?’ To save herself all these questions, she has a secret phone.”

Satish, who runs a photocopy shop next to the college, said the khaps are simply too far away to monitor students’ behavior. Phones are often exchanged as gifts and kept secret from the family, he said. “Generally,” he said, “everyone around here has two mobiles at least.”

Sonal Dangi, 20, shrugged off the talk of tighter controls. Social change had taken hold in Haryana, she said, and it could not be halted.

“Everything has its positive and negative sides,” she said. “But they can’t stop it.”

But others were far more wary. The moral arbiters from the village have informers everywhere, Meena said. Police officers often work with the khap, many said. A young man from the same village might report back to a woman’s family if he spotted her walking with a man, others said. So could the rickshaw driver who drove her to the city.