Twelve weddings.

That’s how many times I sat among couples as they paired off, and I turned to no one at the sign of peace. How many times I pinched pennies to find an acceptable gift while married friends with two incomes gave beautiful pieces off the registry. It’s how many times I sat alone during a slow dance.

And sadly, that’s the attitude I had through all of it.

The back to back nature of weddings in summer is enough to drive a person nutty. And for me, I let it. Looking back now, I firmly believe that coming at it with a good attitude can make all the difference.

Goodnight, everyone else.

The part of weddings that bummed me out the most was the end. Many of the other guests that I knew were the other married couples from the other weddings. So the evening would end and they would leave together, in a haze of romance and gaga-eyes because they’re remembering their own wedding.

And I would leave alone. And very, very bitter.

Even though I knew that the end of literally every party of any kind is to go home, I was unreasonably upset about the way this one happened every time!

If I could do it again, I’d have a plan. I’d say, “I’m going to leave a song early to avoid the mass exodus of couples.” or “I’m going to leave, but I’ll treat myself to an ice cream cone or my favorite movie on the way home.”

Prayer works—always

Offer up any jealousy or sadness a wedding may bring up. It’s totally natural to want what we see at weddings. Holiness, love, stability, a future. Those are admirable prayers!

As you pray for those things in your life, pray for them in the life of the couple, too. Pray fervently for the couple each time you start to feel upset, and your heart will begin to change.

Your heart will be reminded what your soul was already ordained to understand: that this is bigger than you, and bigger than the couple. This is about the triumph of love in a world that’s rapidly losing touch with their Creator.

Pray fiercely for people pursuing the Lord that their union will be a good example to many others—and then suddenly your moment of sadness during the first slow dance seems really inconsequential compared to what you’re praying for. Because it’s not about the party; it’s about the sacrament.

It’s not about you

Selfishness is a really easy trap to fall into when you’re single. Not necessarily in a malicious way, but in a way that’s more routine. When your days consist of caring for yourself primarily (or in many cases, only) that means you sleep, eat, shop, work out, rest, play all on your own time. You spend money how and where you want. You come and go as you please. You spend the majority of the time with yourself.

That makes it really easy to start seeing things as they relate to you, and you only.

Here’s the thing: a wedding is not about you, but it’s also not about any of the other guests either.

Allow yourself to get totally lost in the celebration of love. Don’t think of it as it pertains to you, or how you relate to the other guests or even the happy couple. See it for what it is: two people, the Lord, and His story for them.

Through that lens, it’s impossible to not be overcome with joy that you’ve been invited to witness a spiritual milestone in someone’s journey toward Heaven.