Denver Broncos wide receiver Wes Welker was suspended four games by the NFL for violating the league’s performance-enhancement policy after testing positive for an amphetamine. Pro Football Talk reported Welker was popped for taking Molly — think: MDMA plus some uppers — when he attended the Kentucky Derby.

The league is clandestine about all drug punishments, leaving the players to offer whatever excuses or alibis — Adderall, it’s always Adderall — they can muster to avoid the doper label. Welker denied taking drugs … knowingly.

“I wouldn’t have any idea where to get a Molly or what a Molly is,” Welker told the Denver Post. “That’s a joke. I don’t do marijuana, I don’t do drugs. I don’t do any drugs.”

Welker suggested someone may have spiked his drink during the revelry at the racetrack. Maybe Tom Brady, who was teammates with Welker with the Patriots and also attended the Derby in May, could shed some light on Welker’s intake or ecstatic mood.

“I got no comment on that,” Brady said with a laugh.

Without knowing for certain, then, what Welker did or didn’t take, we will have to settle for imagining the shifty receiver in various football settings through the years, tripping out of his skull:

“I can breathe invisible fire! I’m a dragon!”

“Whoaaaaa. Come here, little birdie. I’m too fast. I’ll catch you. Too fast.”

“The sun is a magical orb of love. The colors are a swirl of tiny crystals. This day is perfect. My left eye is feeling a bit weird, though. Am I blinking right now?”

“Stop following me. Oh nooooo…Why is this guy following me? Deep breath. OK. His camera can’t see in my tote bag — it’s OK.”

“Wheeeeeeee!”

“I just want to touch you, feel that smooth pigskin on my catching gloves, but it’s like, you’re so far away.”

“Do you guys like my new hat? It’s made out of felt and stuff. But it’s a little hot. Wow, actually, really hot. Is anyone else feeling super warm right now?”

“You’re a really good friend, Tom. I feel really close to you, out here, on this field. That suit is special. And your hair: amazing.”

“Grrrrr. Get off me. Oh god. Get. Off. Me!”

“I am jumping so high! Next one, bet you I can touch the upper deck!”