In what many are calling his most crucial international trip yet, Trump embarks today on an 11-day trip that will see him meeting with leaders in Korea, China, Vietnam, the Philippines, and Japan. Here is the schedule of events:

Hawaii—Friday, Nov. 3

1:00 p.m. : Trump to deliver speech calling for a complete repeal of the terrible Pearl Harbor attack



: Trump to deliver speech calling for a complete repeal of the terrible Pearl Harbor attack 8:00 p.m.: Join top-level national security advisors for closed-door luau



Japan—Sunday, Nov. 5

1:00 p.m. : Geisha Fantasy Makeover Experience® in Tokyo’s Harajuku district



: Geisha Fantasy Makeover Experience® in Tokyo’s Harajuku district 4:15 p.m. : Trump to meet with Japanese p rime m inister Shinzō Abe for a series of unilateral talks



: Trump to meet with Japanese p rime m inister Shinzō Abe for a series of unilateral talks 6:07 p.m.: Rebuff aide’s claim that tempura just like french fries



Korea—Tuesday, Nov. 7

11:00 a.m. : Tour installations by Trump’s favorite Korean contemporary artist, Xooang Choi



: Tour installations by Trump’s favorite Korean contemporary artist, Xooang Choi 12:30 p.m. : Meet with the families of South Koreans who died after playing 50 consecutive hours of Warcraft



: Meet with the families of South Koreans who died after playing 50 consecutive hours of Warcraft 2:49 p.m.: Bizarre, easily avoidable international incident



China—Wednesday, Nov. 8

9:25 a.m. : Trump to spend the morning tweeting angrily along with CCTV program Dialogue with Yang Rui



: Trump to spend the morning tweeting angrily along with CCTV program Dialogue with Yang Rui 1:45 p.m.: Meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping to discuss the deep, senseless anger Trump has always felt




Vietnam—Friday, Nov. 10

11:28 a.m. : Trump will refer to the Vietnam War as “your thing”



: Trump will refer to the Vietnam War as “your thing” 1:37 p.m. : Robert Mueller winces as Trump totally botches Vietnamese diplomat’s name on bugged phone call



: Robert Mueller winces as Trump totally botches Vietnamese diplomat’s name on bugged phone call 11:31 p.m.: Another nightmare where large, faceless man covered in sweat chases him through West Wing with spiked two-by-four




Philippines—Sunday, Nov. 12

3:00 p.m. : Join President Rodrigo Duterte at shooting range for target practice on low-level drug offenders



: Join President Rodrigo Duterte at shooting range for target practice on low-level drug offenders 7:00 p.m. : Attend gala to celebrate 50 years of U.S. complicity in human rights abuses



: Attend gala to celebrate 50 years of U.S. complicity in human rights abuses 9:20 p.m.: Trump will pen long journal entry describing the strange sights he has seen throughout his journey

