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One of my favourite things about not being married any more is that when dishes need to be done, I just do them without having to talk about them. No arguments, no resentment. That, and being able to watch Bachelor in Paradise without judgement.

It shouldn't be hard, but there is always one partner in a relationship who wants the damn dishes done now, and one who drags the chain when it's their turn. But that could all be about to change, because science is telling men that if they do more dishes, they're going to get more sex.

Let's state that super clearly, just so you can forward this article on to your significant other, and he'll be sure to get the message:

Men who do more dishes have more sex. If you want to have more sex, do more dishes.

Clear enough for you?

The report, from the Council of Contemporary Families, confirmed what women have known since the invention of the kitchen sink: that the allocation of dish duty is likely to cause the most friction in the household, and likely to make women lose that special adult cuddle mood at record speed.

And that men who do chores are sexy.

The study also looked at household jobs like laundry, shopping, and general housecleaning, but women reported that having a partner contribute to the dishes was the most valuable to them.

Women who wash most of the household's dishes said they were less satisfied in their relationships, had more conflict, and – you guessed it – a less satisfying sex life. The report also found that women are happier when they can share the dish load than they are about any other chore.


Brisbane mum Janine Wood agrees. "The dishes are relentless in my house! With three boys under 10, it feels like all I have to do is turn around and I've got a sink full of dishes.

"I can ignore the laundry or the dust on the coffee table, but I can't ignore the dishes because they just keep multiplying the longer I leave them."

"Doing dishes is gross," says Dan Carlson, assistant professor of sociology at the University of Utah, and the lead author of the study. "There is old, mouldy food sitting in the sink. If you have kids, there is curdled milk in sippy cups that smells disgusting."

Mel Carruthers of Toowoomba says that kind of mess is enough to kill anyone's buzz. "When I've been scraping two-day-old casserole off the bottom of a pan, the last thing I'm thinking about is sexy time. I'm just thinking I need a shower – alone – and wondering why this has turned into my job - again!"

Assistant Professor Carlson says the other contributing factor is that doing dishes is a thankless task. If you cook, people might compliment you on the dish, but doing dishes doesn't raise comment from anyone.

"What is there to say?" he asks. "'Oh, the silverware is so…sparkly?'"

Robert J Grimes, relationship counsellor and psychotherapist from Love Life Matters, says it's understandable women appreciate having the dishes taken care of.

"In most cases, it's a chore to do that most people don't like doing," he says. "When the dishes are done for her, it makes life so much easier, and she probably feels respected and valued."

Robert says the best way for women to get men on board with the dishes is to be up front.

"She needs to sit down with her partner and let him know, up front, what is going on for her," he says. "By her conveying that she would feel much more connected to him if he did the dishes without being asked."

And if that leads to more physical affection, everyone's a winner.

"It is about her feeling really respected because her partner has helped her out of love, and then love is responded to," he says.

"Love is sex. It is the physical connection."