Anonymous asked: Dear Necromancers, I am a dapper gentleman with an unusual hobby. I try my best to stay active in the community and meet people. However, due to my hobby, I find it difficult to meet women. Bringing them home is especially an issue. They always comment about the unpleasant smell of formaldehyde coming from the basement! Do you have any advice to give on the fairer sex?

First things first, you’ve got to be open to the idea that the women you’re meeting aren’t turned off by the fact that you’re a necromancer… they may just be embarrassed by your hack-job approach to your hobbyist necromancy. What if you were to meet a lovely young woman who told you she was interested in necromancy, but then you went back to her place and found that she only uses people who’ve been dead a few seconds and some shock paddles?

The truth is, you were probably just a terrible disappointment to the poor girl.

If you want to be taken seriously as a necromancer, step back from the formaldehyde and start spending more time working on some of the incantations against decay.

Necromancy isn’t just a hobby, it’s a lifestyle.1 You can’t just introduce yourself by saying,

“Oh, y’know, I’m a pretty normal dude, I just sometimes dabble in dread sorcery…”

That’s for warlocks. You’re not some practitioner of minor cantrips, you part the veil between life and death.

Be up front. Own it.







1. Or, if you’re a liche, unlifestyle. If you are a necromantic hierophant, deathstyle.