It began at the breakfast buffet. He was impossible to miss: ruggedly handsome, his chiseled cheek marred only by a single, stretching scar hinting at a rough-and-ready past. I sensed a military background, his clothing-optional approach allowing me the full scope of his 16-pack abs.

Nursing a coffee with learned nonchalance, Joe, a Marine turned media intern, was the talk of our table. It was as if we had all forgotten he was only six inches tall and entirely plastic.

But @joe_the_intern only had eyes for one woman. In fact, I was meeting him on one of their many vacations, this time at a luxury resort in Mexico. Later, by the pool, Simone Paget bent his limbs to her will for an après-swim shoot. From a small purse, she produced his miniature towel, miniature Cancun guidebook and miniature beer bottle.

Ms. Paget dripped water over Joe’s Men’s Health-esque physique. “Hashtag this is why I’m single,” she said, giggling sheepishly.