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INSPIRING news has reached WWN today as New York native Perrie Baumbach set about changing the course of history after spending the last two years saving in order to hire a wrecking ball to use in an effort to smash the patriarchy.

“I’m just passionate about knocking down these barriers put in front of women everyday, I long for the day we’re all on an equal footing,” explained the barista and social media influencer, “I wasn’t really fully aware of my purpose and place in all of this, until it was made clear to me by like-minded people online that the patriarchy being smashed could bring this all about”.

Studiously accumulating tips and wages in order to put aside $2,000 to hire the wrecking ball for just one hour, Baumbach’s noble and brave plan to smash the patriarchy had finally taken shape. However, some hurdles remained.

“I’ve only got the wrecking ball for an hour once I officially hire it, so I’ll need to know where exactly in New York the patriarchy is, so I can smash it. Not discounting the fact that it may not be possible at all if it’s kept in a reinforced steel safe somewhere or, shit, what if it’s a Horcrux situation?” Baumbach pondered.

The more time we spent with this relentlessly inspiring woman, the clearer it became that Baumbach was not hiring a wrecking ball in an attempt to provide a stirring visual commentary on what was possible if we all strived to end inequality in society, but had in fact spent her modest life savings on a substantial piece of construction machinery.

“Do you think I’ll need to hire an operator for it too, or will I be able to do it? I mean I have a driver’s licence, is that sufficient?” continued Baumbach as we slowly walked away, downgrading her efforts from ‘brave’ to ‘oh my God check out what this person did’.