Ch. 23

Malicius cryptalid is easily disambiguated from its perfectly benign and identical-looking cousin, Simplicius cryptalid, with a simple test. First, lay down a piece of raw meat on the colony mound. Second, run. If you survive, it was Simplicius.

Magickal Beasts Noteserv

While well lit, the interior of the castle still reflects the outdoors in subtle ways. Shadows run longer, pinpoints of stars sparkle through impossible view-holes, and portrait motion diminishes. When Horry spots the moon through a real window, exhaustion hits him in a wave. Finally, the sky reflects how tired he actually is.

He considers for a moment what might happen if he writes something different on the tag. Something like, "Don't try a lie detection spell on the alcove." Or nothing at all. Or maybe a mark on the tag? But not a mark he would have seen...unless Freb and Geordie just…steal it? Did they actually have their own time-twistor, and they were just screwing with him?

Horry, a little delirious, reenters the Grippenboor common area and decides to postpone further chronomancy experiments at least until he knows enough magick to prevent people from repeatedly stealing things from him.

First, he climbs up to the alcove, and after a couple of tries, casts the lie-detection spell. There's isn't much feedback, but for a brief sheen covering the space for a moment.

"Two plus two is five," he says, and a candle flickers on the closest wall to the space.

"Okay. Good," he turns, only to spot the contingent of his past self and companions marching directly towards the stairs to the upper area. He darts into a side-booth and closes the curtain, only to remember that his past-self had almost immediately gone searching for more supplies after getting in the booth, so he peeks out, sees that it's safe, and runs away down the far set of stairs across them.

He sets up in a booth on the opposite side of the room, obscured by several fearsome skeletons, and pens the note:

TRY A LIE DETECTION SPELL ON THE ALCOVE.

Then Freb and Geordie appear.

"Ahh!" shouts Horry.

"Ahhg!" shout Freb and Geordie, "Oh, hiya Horry,"

"Looks like everything worked out?"

"You guys are Grippenboor?!"

"O' course we are. Whole family is,"

"For generations!"

"Generations, Horry!"

"Wait! First! You do not have permission to send me back in time!"

"Ah, no need to worry,"

"Don't have any time-twistors, us,"

"No memory of using one, certainly,"

"Can't imagine what we'd do with such a dangerous thing, anyway,"

"Terribly dangerous,"

"You…w-did Alvin talk to you?"

"Doubledoor? Oh right, he said you needed help with something,"

"Right, said it was part of The Plan, and I can't say no to that, now can I?"

"Would be such a waste,"

Horry clenches his teeth, "Are you actually going to help me, or are you going to do something terrible!"

"Horry, on our honor as gentlemen—,"

"You said that already to me—today!—and you immediately sent me back in time!"

"Ah, well that's not terribly sporting, now is it?"

"Must've agreed to it, yeah?"

"Can't imagine how we managed that otherwise…" the twins each think deeply for a moment.

"Anyway, do enjoy the fireworks later,"

"Definitely, they'll be divine,"

"Unless you need help with something?" they watch him expectantly.

Horry heaves an enormous, tired sigh, "I need one of you to throw a time-twistor at me,"

One snorts, and the other guffaws, "Didn't you just finish yellin' at us about doing that to you?"

"Can't you do it yourself?"

"Yeah, why can't you do it?"

"Because I don't remember me doing it—it was a taller, older student, and I didn't really get a look at their face. It might've been one of you? It all happened very fast…anyway, this is probably the only way to close the loop! Otherwise this is all going to get worse! Probably…"

"Don't think that's entirely how it works, Horry,"

"Yeah, s'not like Time is malevolent or anything,"

"Everyone keeps saying that, and I find that increasingly difficult to believe," Horry fumes, "Will you do it?"

"On one condition!"

"And only the one!"

"What is it?"

"[Classified], but it won't bring you any more trouble, we promise. On Grippenboor's honor," they both nod, solemnly—ultra-serious.

"…when do I learn how to do that?"

"Oh, later in first year," they smile—identical, mischievous grins.

"Okay, fine, whatever, just follow me."

Horry stands, and stomps up the stairs, towards the alcove. He pauses a few paces outside, "Alright, just open the curtain, and immediately throw this at me," he hands the sphere to one of the twins.

"Right!" they advance:

"OH, AND FOR FULL DISCLOSURE, MASTER PATTER, LIE DETECTION SPELLS DO NOT WORK ON ME."

"What?" says past Horry, as the twin parts the curtain and tosses the sphere.

Horry covers his face in his hands and groans.

"Freb!" Romb immediately shouts, as everyone else screams.

"What did you do to Horry!"

"Nothin! He asked for it!"

"How could he possibly ask for it!"

"I'm here, Romb," Horry parts the curtain.

Everyone yelps again.

"What just happened!" says Hermany.

"I…I don't know. I tried to arrange to have a lie detection spell cast on the alcove—without the wand's knowledge of it happening, but…"

"Oh, well…did it work?"

"Oh yeah, I cast the spell fine, uh, two plus two is five," the candle flickers above them.

"Horry, you look…terrible,"

"Yeah…it's been like 12 hours or something insane,"

"I APPLAUD THE EFFORT, MASTER PATTER. I WAS NOT EVEN TIPPED OFF TO THE SPELL UNTIL MOMENTS BEFORE THE CURTAIN WAS PARTED BY MISTER WALLABY HERE,"

Freb's face, on hearing the wand talk and then say his name is an exquisite admixture of flabbergasted surprise and terror, "Horry, why is that wand talking?"

"You're…you're Romb's brothers!"

"I would say,"

"that Romb has the pleasure of being our brother, but yes—,"

"You're the ones who cursed his trunk!" Hermany stands, ferocious, finger aimed accusatorily at Freb's nose.

"Ahhh…guilty? Technically it was Geordie—but it was a joint effort—"

Hermany starts to climb over the table after them.

"Yeah all right, have fun with the cursed wand—" Freb grab's Geordie's sleeve, and they woosh away.

Horry rubs his temples, "Well, that was…something—where even were we?" He sits down again in a lump.

"Well, it's a dueling wand," says Daisy.

"And maybe a computer or something?" says Romb.

"And it can cast spells! Although, I guess most wands can cast spells when you think about it…"

"ON THE CONTRARY,—" Horry jumps.

"IT IS NOT GENERALLY THE WAND THAT IS DOING THE SPELL-CASTING—A WAND IS JUST A STICK, AFTER ALL," the wand's sarcasm is…easily detectable.

"Wait, that's right! But will any stick work? Is there something special about Olliwander's wands?"

"Or is there anything special about wands at all…" Horry continues, fog muddling his thoughts.

"I've read about powerful warizards that can cast spells without wands—and without saying any words? Maybe wands just make it easier?"

"Where did you find time to read all this stuff?" Romb squints at Hermany.

"Where didn't you? You live in Magickal Britain! There's literally infinitely many pages written about it!"

"Well, it's not like I'm readin' about Moggley business all the time cause I just want to know…" the candle flickers.

Hermany raises an eyebrow, "Well then!"

"Wait wait wait, this was all supposed to be a test! The wand is just sidetracking us!"

"UNFORTUNATELY, MASTER PATTER, I DON'T THINK I CAN ADEQUATELY CONVINCE YOU OF THE PURITY OF MY MOTIVES. I COULD DRAW AN ANALOGY TO THE TRUST ONE BUILDS UPON FORGING A NEW FRIENDSHIP, BUT IT COULD ALWAYS BE THE CASE THAT NEW 'FRIENDS' ARE TRYING TO DECEIVE YOU EITHER THROUGH MAGICK OR SIMPLER SUBTERFUGE, SIMPLY TO GAIN YOUR TRUST. EVEN I WILL ADMIT SUCH IS FAR LIKELIER TO BE TRUE FOR A MYSTERIOUS TALKING WAND THAT IT MIGHT BE FOR YOUR COLLECTED COMPANIONS, HERE. PERHAPS, THEN, IT IS BEST THAT YOU NOT TRUST ME—I WOULD NOT BE REMISS, NOR UPSET, FOR I AM YOUR IMPLEMENT. A HEALTHY MISTRUST OF MAGICK WOULD DO YOU GOOD IN THIS WORLD, IN FACT."

"That's…surprisingly reasonable," Horry props his head up with his arms, "But we still don't really know anything, like, about you,"

"IF MY HISTORY SHOULD EVER BECOME RELEVANT TO YOUR STORY, MASTER PATTER, I ASSURE YOU, I WILL LET YOU KNOW."

Horry's head slides down his arms until his forehead is on the table.

"Okay. Experiment…complete. For now."

"But we just got here…" starts Pavarti.

"I need…to lay down," Horry stands, "Do we have, like, rooms here?"

"Oh, yeah, there," Romb points towards a golden arch across the room.

"Yeah. Okay. See everyone. Tomorrow," Horry stumbles off with his wand—cup still attached.