“I am just sat in the car, about to go to firearms training,” Vanessa Kirby exclaims over the phone just a few days after, dressed to the nines, we reunited at the BAFTA Awards 2020. But there is no rest for this in-demand actress who within days of finishing a dramatic turn as a woman who loses a baby in Pieces of a Woman, is going straight into training for Mission Impossible.

It’s quite the contrast to the red carpet-ready Vanessa but what else would you expect from an actress who can switch it up from kicking the Rock in the actual balls in Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw to getting her crown jewels on to play Princess Margaret in The Crown. This gal is the definition of versatile.


Having met Vanessa initially a few years ago, I have learnt over the course of a few interviews and award show run-ins that she is as kind, fun - and crucially - wise as she is talented. One of the kinda girls you want to do shots at the bar with and then deep dive into the most intense debriefs.

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In fact, during a previous interview Vanessa left me with a piece of advice that has completely changed the way I talk about myself. The advice? To talk to myself in my most anxious moments as if I was talking to a small child. The results have been game-changing.


Here taking a spin in her Audi e-tron the actress imparts further wise advice that I can assure you will change the way you talk about yourself, too. Vanessa also opens up about her latest testing roles and how she’s learnt to become a good parent to herself, in order to find a new level of self-confidence…

Babe, you were looking banging at the BAFTAs…

I was really tired, I just got in from Canada and I was dying, I was dyinggg! I felt like a dishcloth. I just wrapped filming a movie (Pieces of a Woman) about a couple who lose a baby with Shia LaBeouf who is now one of my best friends - I love him so much. It was extremely intense and very dark so going into training for Mission Impossible is slightly going to release it all.

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How do you look after yourself when you are playing a role that is so mentally draining both in terms of body and mind?

Not very well. Mainly by being around my best friends and my sister. That’s the best form of wellbeing you can ever have, really. I felt absolutely sh*t after that shoot because you have to go to dark places for 10 hours a day. Actually, I am looking forward to this Mission training because it means you eat well and work out which I haven’t been doing for that entire shoot. Plus, my character was pregnant for a bit of it, so I was wearing the belly twenty-four seven - I was even sleeping in it. So, you could eat whatever you want, I was like, ‘I am eating for two,’ but there was no real two! It’s a fake two! In my mind no one was going to tell until but then you whip it off and it’s like, ‘oh god!’

Do you enjoy the red-carpet experience, or do you find it stressful?



The whole thing, when you think about it, is just you get painted on for ages. I used to look at magazines and think, ‘oh god how do they look like that?’ But it takes a whole f**king team and that’s deceptive really. If you manage to look ok on the red carpet you have so many people working on it, it’s not just you. I think that’s important to talk about, really, as it’s all an illusion. It actually takes hours!

There is all this BS of everyone living our best lives right now and it’s important to say - like you are saying - that isn’t always the case…

Yes! It takes some of the best face painters in the world to do it, you are working with people at the top of their game. It’s just an illusion for the most part, just created by talented people.

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You have been doing red carpets for a while now, do you feel more empowered and comfortable in your own skin? Or, is it still a work in progress?

Yes, it’s always a work in progress but equally I have never liked having my photo taken so facing a bank of photographers is quite a big thing to deal with in your mind. It feels so exposing. I look at other actors and think, ‘they look so beautiful!’ I still feel very exposed, but you have to switch off your mind, as it’s not really you and try and be kind to yourself. It can really be a lot.

Do you see it as if you are just playing another character?



You kind of have to! You have to switch off your mind and if you are having a fun time with your friends in a hotel, having a glass of champagne, you try and rally the nerves and treat it as a work thing.

You are becoming well known for being a badass babe on screen – do you feel like that in your own life now?

Yes, actually! I think that it’s so hard to not have self-doubt. We talked about this before, and the self -critic can be so loud and it’s my main aim to quieten that. I read this thing the other day about self-forgiveness and it said, ‘the lack of self-forgiveness is the number one source of mental health.’ More than anything else, more than chemical imbalances or addiction, even, it’s self-forgiveness. I am starting think that self-forgiveness and being compassionate to yourself is the key to feeling better day to day.

You said to me last time we met that when you feel anxious you talk to yourself like a ‘small child,’ and that literally changed the way I spoke about myself…

I am so glad Joshy, that is so nice! You can choose to be a horrible, mean parent to yourself or you can choose to be a kind, compassionate one. You have a choice between one or other. But the natural tendency is to lean towards being the horrible, mean parent towards ourselves. The work every day is to move towards being the real, compassionate and kind one who is really forgiving, I think. And you really need to monitor which parent you are being to yourself. I think we look for parents in everything whether that’s work or whatever we grab at to fuel us. But really, we need to concentrate on how we manage ourselves.

Audi took you to BAFTA - what kind of backseat driver are you?

Awful! I grip the sides, talk the whole way through the journey and point out the direction even though the driver knows where they are going. I actually was in an electric Audi, the Audi e-tron and I am so proud of them for that, I want a totally electric car. I think that’s so important.


Do you feel more conscious of making sustainable choices now, like driving in an Audi e-tron?



Oh god, yes. But we are all hypocrites and so I am, no matter what I try, I am too in my own way. It’s an effort we all have to make. But I am very aware of the hypocrisy of everything we do, really.

Vanessa Kirby went to the BAFTA Awards 2020 in an Audi e-tron and the accompanying shoot was shot at the Mandarin Oriental, London