Why I Don’t Approach Women

Originally posted on: Oct 31, 2011.

You probably think that there is only one way to get women: by approaching them. However, if you ever hang out with me, you will never, ever, see me approach them. Although I use to approach women, I figured something out: I don’t have to. Do women constantly approach me? Hardly. I’d say that I only get approached once per night that I’m out on average.

Getting to the point, why don’t I approach women anymore? Not necessarily because strange women are going to cold approach me, but rather, I realized that as long I give women a little time to get comfortable with me, they will start to make their own advances. In other words, almost each and every time that I hang around new people, start a new activity, take a new class, or start a new job, if there are single women, at least one will start to make her advances and do all of the work for me.

And more importantly, it doesn’t matter how hot the girls are. I’ve been hit on by models, and I’ve been hit on by trailer trash; it all depends on the quality of the women in that group. Is it my personality, or maybe the fact that I’m tall? It doesn’t matter. What matters is that women hit on you, and they do it once they start to get comfortable around you, whether it’s because of your personality, your looks, or whatever.

The fact is, there are a lot of women out there that are attracted to certain guys, and they will make their moves to get them. Will they necessarily do it in nightclubs or do it when they are pressed for time? It’s highly unlikely. Most women just need time to build-up the confidence to talk to you. I know of at least three women that were dared to approach me because they were afraid to make a move.

The point I’m trying to make, is that there is more than one way to get women, and you don’t necessarily have to be going to nightclubs, or approaching them. If you have the looks, or a personality that grows on women, then take advantage of it. You don’t have to go out there and get rejected every weekend by trying to force things or trying to move too fast. If you’re attractive enough, all you have to do is make new friends, try a few new things, and let the women come to you.