You got…

You've been sent home after your first trial

Let's not tell anyone about this

Switch off your computer and go home

Never mind Ajax's academy, you wouldn't even get a trial at Accrington Stanley

Mid-table mediocrity awaits

You're not the worst trial player we've seen

Brush up on your finishing and you may have a future

We'll have you back for another trial. We're impressed

You're almost the complete player

That's almost Total Football!

That's Total Football!