Seriously, though, why is Sam Healy so fucking miserable all the time? And why the lesbian obsession? Is it because he has the creepy-ass mail-order bride? Or is it the fact that he has the saddest existence in the world? No one knows, but one thing is certain: Sam Healy is a miserable, mean human, and for that, no one likes him. On the other hand, Grumpy Cat is the epitome of unhappiness and everyone LOVES her for it. So maybe Healy should just work on becoming a cat?