Being a member of the NBA family has its perks, and it has its pranks. Sometimes, those pranks can be humorous, and pretty much all of the time, they're harmless.

This story about Shaquille O'Neal pranking his Phoenix Suns teammates and coaches, however, is neither humorous nor harmless. Being playfully attacked by a naked 7-foot, 300-pound man should probably qualify under "most horrifying life experiences."

We're so sorry, Alvin Gentry. Nobody should have to endure such bizarre, sweaty abuse.