OITNB S5 E6 “Flaming Hot Cheetos, Literally” is about:

* The story of Taystee meeting her real Mother for the first time (at age 18). Sadly, it does not go well but Danielle Brooks does some amazingly subtle acting during some of the resulting discussions between her and her Mom.

* Doggett being put on trial for aiding Donuts, giving the gun to Donuts, and as a result allowing Donuts to shoot Leanne’s fingertip off.

* The Governor’s office choosing to meet only the prisoners least important but most immediately satisfying (if shallow) demands. The obvious intent is to both drive a wedge between the hardcore prisoners and to trick the prisoners into giving up their leverage (the prisoners).

* Officer Bayley stumbling the earth trying to make sense of what has happened at the same time he seems entirely incapable of making any sense of what has happened.

* The world of television attempting to adapt to having Aleida as a guest on one of their news shows.

* Piper and Alex continuing to fight about if Piper should be less ambitious and if Alex should be honest about being involved in killing the guard that got buried in the yard (technically the real instigator of the crackdown that caused Poussey’s death and hence the riot).

* Nicky continuing to try to cope with Lorna’s insanity. Now apparently Lorna can’t be with Nicky because she has gotten pregnant through divine intervention.

* A surprising appearance by Poussey in a great flashback showing us how Taystee and Poussey met.

* Frieda getting bored in her extravagant bunker and decides to invite several of the other ladies to join her (Yoga Jones, Norma, Gina, and DeMarco). At first, they resist until they see that Frieda cleared out an old gym and swimming pool (apparently she found out about it from an old prison employee named Skin and Bones and applied her lifelong survivalist skills to make it viable).

Oh, and “Flaming Hot Cheetos, Literally” refers to Taystee and her crew collecting all of the remaining Governor-provided flaming hot Cheetos, taking them outside, and literally lighting them on fire (to show the Governor that they are serious about their demands).

5. In America, Everyone Has the Right To A Fair Trial

Boo says this after triggering her cell phone to play the “Law and Order” theme before she tries to have a meeting with her client (Doggett) before the trial starts (the other prisoners immediately say “unless you are black, brown, or poor”).

I mostly want to repeat how much I loathe Law and Order, which has miseducated, indoctrinated, and poisoned the minds of millions of Americans over its unbelievably long run and even longer run in syndication.

Why do I consider it propaganda?

* Very few defendants ever take their cases to trial. As of 2012 97% of Federal cases are plea bargained while 94% of State cases were plea-bargained. Trials are mostly a luxury of the rich or the poorly represented. The truth, the entire system only works because people are forced into accepting plea bargains by overcharging (where one crime is charged 20 different ways (for instance, an armed robber would be charged with armed robbery, using a weapon in the commission of a crime, attempted murder, reckless endangerment etc.). In other words, the entire picture of the reality of the criminal justice system is misrepresented from the jump.

* The show constantly and exclusively posits that all people easily divide into good or evil and also that when “good” people go over the line, it is always justified but when “bad” people go over the line, society should ensure that the key is thrown away forever. It divides people into subjects and objects and simplifies what are almost always complex stories into simple morality plays.

* The show constantly and exclusively asserts that prosecutors are upstanding and ethical agents of public safety and police are always working to ensure public safety. Any abuses are always exceptions that say everything about the rogue agent and nothing about an unjust system or unjust laws. In other words, abuses are always seen as exceptions to the seamless functioning of a fully just system and never as proof that the system is fundamentally flawed.

I could go on all night about the reasons that I hate Law and Order in all of its forms, but you get the point. Rant over.

4. Irony Rules

So, one of the main themes of Season Five has been that while the public should often care about important things (the death of Poussey Washington) they care much more about idiotic things ("Black Lattes Matter").

It strikes me as more than a little ironic that the memes I have seen the most about Season 5 often involve Flaming Cheetos and Takis (this was also the demand whose inclusion made Taystee the angriest).

It would be sad if what people remember from a season about an unjust murder, abuse by correctional officers, corruption, and the absolute shitshow known as private prisons is a stupid song about snacks.

Yup, that’s America.

3. Frieda’s Bunker

Can anyone explain to me how Frieda accomplished the bunker?

Yes, I get that she is really crafty and an experienced survivalist. I get that much of the furniture might have been stored down there in perpetuity. But how did she move hundreds of cans of food (no commissary that I have ever seen sells cans of food)? How did she have so many personal items? And how in the hell did she go back and forth over a long period of time undetected to set it up?