(One of my best friends and I have a relationship that is about 80% quoting random memes, videos, song lyrics, and Tumblr posts at each other. One of our longer running ‘things’ is a popular online cartoon about llamas who wear hats. Her contact picture in my phone is one of these llamas, and her text tone is customised to be a line from the same character. This happens as I’m leaving work one night:)

Me: *walking through the carpark, head down, looking at my phone*

Text Tone: “I do not- I do not kill people. That is- that is my LEAST favourite thing to do.”

(The couple I’m walking behind turns around to look at me, absolutely HORRIFIED. I stand like a deer in headlights, not really sure how to explain myself, as my phone continues to go off with multiple texts from my best friend, causing it to say ‘I do not kill people’ on a loop.)

Me: *finally managing to speak* “I SWEAR I don’t kill people! It really is my least favourite thing to do!”

(The couple continued to look horrified, and started to slowly move away from me. Their teenage son, however, was apparently familiar with the source video, because he’d broken down into fits of laughter against the car beside him. After a few more seconds, I finally had the sense to silence my phone, which was still announcing ‘I do not kill people,’ and hurried past them to my car. I still haven’t had the sense to change the text tone, though.)