3/9/12 3:17AM

If all goes according to plan, this is part one of Traffic Cop Week, So expect more cop comedy gold come Sunday. Though, due to time constraints (read: Will being a jerkface), we have been skimping on the Someday specials recently, so I wouldn’t hold your breath. Unless you’re into asphyxiation.

Despite fear of sounding too political, I expect, nay demand, anyone who lives in a pro-life state to fight for this right tooth and nail. If aborting it is murder it damn well counts as a passenger.

While prepared to prove her pregnancy, today’s protagonist seems ill-prepared to avoid peeing on her own legs. Thank god for penises.

-Jesse