It was a big week for claiming victories (even if you didn't really win). Just look at Trump's crowing about how his administration is operating like a "well-oiled machine" (it's not). Similarly, McDonald's generated huge public interest in its new super-engineered shake straws (that you'll never see IRL), Harvard researchers claim they're close to successfully cloning mammoths (if by "close" you mean "decades from now") and Playboy has announced that its once again becoming a nudie mag (after nixing the nakedness just last year). Numbers, because how else will you know how far to walk back your previous statements?