It was another day in Bikini Bottom, and Squidward was playing his dildo clarinet. He removed it from his ass and began to make horrid music with it. Outside, someone was annoyed.

"Hey, could you keep it down? I'm trying to enjoy a walk on this day!" a generic background fish said.

"Well sorry that I'm trying to enjoy my Sunday pleasure!" Squidward angrily replied.

Squidward got back to playing, but he started to choke on the crap that was on his clarinet. He then heard a knock on the door. The knock had startled him so much, he swallowed the crap and tried to prepare himself. He placed his clarinet off to the side, and hurriedly put on a shirt as he ran to the door. It was Spongebob. Squidward didn't know why, but he was glad to see Spongebob today.

"How's it going, Squid buddy?" SpongeBob asked.

"Heh.. pretty good!" Squidward awkwardly responded.

Squidward looked down. His boner was getting pretty big. The next thing he knew, it was poking SpongeBob's eye.

Squidward was expecting a negative reaction, but instead SpongeBob was amazed.

"Squidward, I didn't know you had a seventh tentacle!" SpongeBob joyfully cheered.

"That's not a tentacle! It's my…"

"Your what?"

Squidward was afraid to confess. He felt that SpongeBob was too innocent. Squidward felt he should tell the truth, especially now that he had gotten to a point where lying was nearly impossible.

"It's my penis!" Squidward shouted.

"Well why didn't you say so! I have 47 holes on my body!" SpongeBob replied. "We could become fuck buddies!"

Squidward wasn't sure how he should feel. Up until now, he had felt that SpongeBob was an innocent, childlike being, only now to learn that SpongeBob was rather excited at the fact that Squidward and him could have sex.

"Well… it depends… do you want to… you know… get intimate?" Squidward asked.

Remember kids. Always ask for consent before sex. Also, if you are a kid, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU READING THIS FANFIC? GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THINGS GET UGLY!

Anyway, back to writing.

"Well of course I do! Just let me get ready," SpongeBob said.

Patrick's rock opened, revealing Patrick drinking a soda. He did a spit take as he saw SpongeBob taking off his pants and Squidward putting on a condom.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Patrick yelled.

"Patrick, Squidward and I are about to have sex! Do you want to join?" SpongeBob said to Patrick.

"Why of course I'm in for a threesome! I didn't want to wear pants today anyway!" Patrick responded.

Alas, the trio had been formed. All were glad, smiling, and pantsless. Squidward invited them all inside, where they all got onto Squidward's bed, and rapidly fucked each other. Heck, it wasn't even just on the bed. The ended up fucking all over the house. Squidward wondered though, how many of SpongeBob's holes could he stick his penis in at once? SpongeBob and Squidward agreed to the challenge, and Squidward began attempting to fuck all of SpongeBob's 47 holes at once. He started by putting his extra "tentacle" in SpongeBob's mouth, and looped it around several of SpongeBob's other holes. However, Squidward got a boner, and his penis snapped.

The next day, Squidward woke up in the hospital. Dr. Gill Gilliam, SpongeBob and Patrick were all standing around him.

"What's going on?" Squidward asked.

Dr. Gill Gilliam responded. "Your penis got horribly fractured yesterday when you and SpongeBob were playing sex games. We tried to see if we could replace it, but no one was willing to donate any inches, so we had to do what we must. We had to give you a vagina instead."