By R.L. Stollar, HA Community Coordinator

Growing up evangelical, I listened to a lot of Contemporary Christian Music (CCM). I never understood the whole “rock music causes demons to eat your brain” mentality. But I did understand — to some extent — their point that Christian rock music was just normal rock music with “Jesus” pasted on top. To my friends and I, that wasn’t actually an intelligent critique. It was more a joke, something we all laughed about.

Fact is, my peers and I often thought it was funny that many CCM songs appeared to be sexy romance songs where the “you” was just capitalized so it suddenly was about Jesus rather than a hot piece of man-flesh. And some CCM bands — Skillet, most of all — have lyrics that are so spiritually kinky, even actual kinksters might blush.

So to honor this humorous memory of CCM’s steamy lyricism, I decided to create a quiz where you must identify whether certain phrases are lines from the bestselling erotic BDSM novel 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James or lyrics from Contemporary Christian Music songs. So pull out a pen and paper and keep track of your answers; an answer key is provided after the quiz.

Make sure you don’t cheat. God is watching you. As Phil Joel says about God, “He’s gonna keep the night light on. He’s waiting there to receive you.”

Or was that something Anastasia Steele wrote in her diary about Christian Grey?

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1. Which of the following is a lyric from a Newsboys song?

a. Giving it over, I was flat on my back.

b. I come instantly.

2. Which use of “hand” is from 50 Shades of Grey and not a CCM song?

a. You gentle your hand…

b. Gushing with surrender in your hands…

c. My hands are open, so take what you see…

3. Three of the following four lines are from Skillet songs. Which one is from 50 Shades of Grey?

a. Stretch me bigger….

b. An empty vessel to be filled at your whim…

c. I’m exploding like chemicals. I’m going crazy — can’t get enough!

d. It’s so urgent. It’s so desperate I can feel it in my bones.

4. One of these four is dirty talk. The other three are DC Talk. Which one is dirty?

a. You consume me like a burning flame.

b. Anytime, anyplace.

c. I am calling out your name.

d. Oh, you know that I surrender.

5. Which “you” is from a Sonicflood praise song? (The other two are about sex.)

a. God, I want you

b. I want to touch you.

c. I am in awe of you.

6. Can you figure out which is neither Rebecca St. James nor Audio Adrenaline?

a. Here I am. I will do as you say.

b. You’re pinning me to the wall.

c. I’m enslaved to what you say.

7. Different people handle pain differently. Which one is the 50 Shades of Grey way?

a. How can I scream when the pain is such a release?

b. The pain is such that I refuse to acknowledge it.

c. I do not deserve to be set free.

8. Once you experience something you really like, you usually want more. Which wanting more is not about God?

a. We’re going all the way.

b. I’ve never wanted more, until I met you.

c. I’ll be chasing you.

d. I wanna do it soon.

9. Which romantic exclamation is not about Jesus?

a. When I’m in your arms is when I feel the best.

b. My heart beats for you.

c. I want my world to start and end with you.

d. I can feel your power surging through the whole of me.

10. One of these is about a BDSM master/slave relationship. The other three are from Christian music.

a. Capture me, make me a slave.

b. I’m struggling to resist, but I’m drawn.

c. If I could only be your master.

d. You can have everything I am.

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Answer Key

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1. Which of the following is a lyric from a Newsboys song?

a. Giving it over, I was flat on my back. – Newsboys, “Giving It Over”

b. I come instantly. – 50 Shades of Grey

2. Which use of “hand” is from 50 Shades of Grey and not a CCM song?

a. You gentle your hand… – 50 Shades of Grey

b. Gushing with surrender in your hands… – Skillet, “Suspended In You”

c. My hands are open, so take what you see… – Smalltown Poets, “I’ll Give”

3. Three of the following four lines are from Skillet songs. Which one is from 50 Shades of Grey?

a. Stretch me bigger…. – Skillet, “Suspended In You”

b. An empty vessel to be filled at your whim… – 50 Shades of Grey

c. I’m exploding like chemicals. I’m going crazy — can’t get enough! – Skillet, “My Obsession”

d. It’s so urgent. It’s so desperate I can feel it in my bones. – Skillet, “Kill Me Heal Me”

4. One of these four is dirty talk. The other three are DC Talk. Which one isn’t DC?

a. You consume me like a burning flame. – DC Talk, “Consume Me”

b. Anytime, anyplace. – DC Talk, “Consume Me”

c. I am calling out your name. – 50 Shades of Grey

d. Oh, you know that I surrender. – DC Talk, “Consume Me”

5. Which “you” is from a Sonicflood praise song? The other two are about sex.

a. God, I want you – 50 Shades of Grey

b. I want to touch you. – Sonicflood, “I Want To Know You”

c. I am in awe of you. – 50 Shades of Grey

6. Can you figure out which is neither Rebecca St. James nor Audio Adrenaline?

a. Here I am. I will do as you say. – Rebecca St. James, “Here I Am”

b. You’re pinning me to the wall. – 50 Shades of Grey

c. I’m enslaved to what you say. – Audio Adrenaline, “Some Kind of Zombie”

7. Different people handle pain differently. Which one is the 50 Shades of Grey way?

a. How can I scream when the pain is such a release? – Skillet, “Kill Me Heal Me”

b. The pain is such that I refuse to acknowledge it. – 50 Shades of Grey

c. I do not deserve to be set free. – Grammatrain, “Pain”

8. Once you experience something you really like, you usually want more. Which wanting more is not about God?

a. We’re going all the way. – Delirious?, “Deeper”

b. I’ve never wanted more, until I met you. – 50 Shades of Grey

c. I’ll be chasing you. – Newsboys, “Beautiful Sound”

d. I wanna do it soon. – Seven Day Jesus, “Butterfly”

9. Which romantic exclamation is not about Jesus?

a. When I’m in your arms is when I feel the best. – Skillet, “Safe With You”

b. My heart beats for you. – Jars of Clay, “Love Song for a Savior”

c. I want my world to start and end with you. – 50 Shades of Grey

d. I can feel your power surging through the whole of me. – DC Talk, “Supernatural”

10. One of these is about a BDSM master/slave relationship. The other three are from Christian music.

a. Capture me, make me a slave. – Skillet, “Take”

b. I’m struggling to resist, but I’m drawn. – 50 Shades of Grey

c. If I could only be your master. – Grammatrain, “Sick Of Will”

d. You can have everything I am. – Audio Adrenaline, “Hands and Feet”