Some of this stuff is hard to believe.

Honest to god, in just a couple of days, we all were walked through Grand Rounds in the public wards containing people most seriously ill with the prion disease that afflicts the Republican Party and that is eating steadily away at the party's higher cognitive functions. These are cases that one day will appear in medical textbooks with the names of the patients blacked out. S.W., for one. And M.H. And, especially P. D of the N.

Let us begin with S.W., the g-e h hired by Koch Industries to manage their Midwest subsidiary formerly known as the state of Wisconsin. Once highly touted by skeevy old bloggers as a real threat for the Republican nomination, S.W. has run a campaign that is a perfect reflection of the candidate himself – slow-witted, dumb as a sack of hair, and dull as a medieval butter-knife. He was asked the other day about what he would do, if he were president, about the refugee crisis exploding out of the Middle East. This is what the putative leader of the free world said.

"I'm not president today, and I can't be president today. Everybody wants to talk about hypotheticals; there is no such thing as a hypothetical."

Aristotle wept.

Next up is M.H., a Bible-banging god-bothering loon who once was considered likable by people desperate for friends. As part of his doomed and useless campaign for president, he has thrown himself headlong into the case of Kim Davis, the Kentucky layabout. This is what the putative commander-in-chief of the armed forces of the United States said.

"I've been just drilled by TV hosts over the past week, 'How dare you say that, uh, it's not the law of the land?'" Huckabee said. "Because that's their phrase, 'it's the law of the land.' Michael, the Dred Scott decision of 1857 still remains to this day the law of the land which says that black people aren't fully human. Does anybody still follow the Dred Scott Supreme Court decision?"

And our old pal Clio, Muse of History, also known by her Marvel superhero name The Proclaimer (!), waits patiently on her doorstep, a gallon jug of Quaaludes in one hand while a tanker truck full of Virginia Gentleman pulls slowly into her driveway.

Finally, there's P. D of the N. She took the stage at the ass-end of the Great Rally Against Unmongered War on the Capitol lawn the other day. She delivered a speech. This is part of what was said by someone who, in the year 2008, was one of only four people with a legitimate shot at being president of the United States.

Thank you. Man, I never thought I'd say it, but I think you all are a lot tougher than Alaskans, being able to be out here. I'm roastin'! I'm meltin'! I've always said, though, sweat is my sanity, so as I sweat, let's bring some SANITY to this discussion about this insane "treaty" that's in front of Congress.

"Sweat is my sanity"? Well, something has to be, I guess.

The blood of U.S. soldiers is on the ayatollah's hands, and we dare shake that hand in negotiations. Our sons and daughters sacrificed — in Iraq, still, in Iraq — and they're there to disempower the extremists in their neighboring crazy land, Iran. Yet the white flag was waved at the table, in these negotiations, because Obama had a squishy objective to start with, instead of our solid rock objective to put America first. Hey, you guys, remember in 2012? Remember in 2012, when Joe Biden told everybody, "Our president, he carries a big stick, I promise it's a big stick." Well, little did we know he was talkin' about Obama's selfie stick.

Almost all Palins make more sense when they're sockless drunk. This has been proven by science.

So, it's up to us to tell the enemy, "We win, you lose." Just like Ronald Reagan would have told them, because ya gotta think about, again, the premise of this.

And then he would have sold them some more missiles.

No, only in an Orwellian Obama world, full of sprinkly fairy dust blown from atop his unicorn, as he's peeking through a really pretty pink kaleidoscope, would he ever see victory or safety for America or Israel in this treaty. This treaty will not bring peace. You don't reward terrorism. You kill it.

Newly hired Palin speechwriter Nigel Tufnel was unavailable for comment.

Where the banshees live, and they do live well…

What a week it was! Party of ideas, people.

Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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