LONDON 2012: GONZO TOWN UNVEILS ITS NEW LOGO FOR OLYMPICS

By Stone Pinkerton

Gonzo Town

After spunking over £400,000 on their official Olympic logo, the London 2012 Committee has drawn fire from just about everyone on the planet who has at least a shred of design taste or a hint common sense. Seeing the situation deteriorating rapidly, the editorial board at Gonzo Town called an emergency meeting this past weekend in a last-ditch attempt to rescue the city’s fortunes.

According to London 2012 organising committee chairman Seb Coe, “This is the vision at the very heart of our brand… and (we) promise to use the Olympic spirit to inspire everyone and reach out to young people around the world.”

International Olympic Committee President Jacques Rogge was noticeably apologetic about their dodgy 2012 brand, “This is a truly innovative brand logo that graphically captures the essence of the London 2012 Olympic Games – namely to inspire young people around the world through sport and the Olympic values.

Rumours are rife that connected city design agency Wolff Ollins ran a free student competition in order to get their bizarre Olympic logo.

Gonzo Town’s resident expert sporting analyst, Chuck Amador, called our emergency meeting in the wake of the London 2011 Riots, in the hope of generating a more relevant and timely symbol for the games.

Amador explained, “Good Lord. Seb Coe must have been on some serious ‘ting when he gave the official logo the nod. Most people I know think that it(the logo) looks more like Lisa and Bart Simpson engaging in bare naughtiness. It’s a bad joke that cost the city half a million.”

Former tennis star Amador adds, “We just saw London go up in flames a few weeks ago, mass rioting and looting by an army of hoodies and chavs. We need a logo that really reflects the true of character of London going into 2012. I think we’ve cracked it, I’m very pleased with Gonzo Town’s selection, it shows that we have our finger on the pulse, unlike Jacques Rogge who can barely looks like he has a pulse.”

“The only thing that raises these guys’ pulses is a fat brown envelope, which is probably how that logo got picked in the first place. He (Rogge) reminds me of FIFA’s Sepp Blatter, or better- Kazakhstan’s President Nazarbayev- all three are overweight men who drink too much port and have all declared themselves President for Life“, scathed an irate Chuck Amador.

The penny really dropped in Gonzo Town after the riots, when Seb Coe’s teen ambassador for the games was nicked for vandalising a police car, after being shopped to the Old Bill by her own mum. This was yet more egg on the face of Lord Coe and the London 2012 Olympic effort, a debacle that has left London’s credibility as a cutting edge cultural capital in question.

Gonzo Town sprung into action, putting out a tender to many of London’s top design agencies to re-do Jacques Rogge and Seb Coe’s racey Simpsons version of the logo. The big agencies were all pretty useless and expectedly so, looking to make an easy buck off this tragic situation- all of them also offered a drink under table to this editor, shameful ethics. Luckily, our morals are not so easily bent. In the end, it was one of our own Gonzo readers whose submission would carry the torch and light that eternal flame that embodies the state of London today…

DRUM ROLL…

Gonzo Town’s Chuck Amador summed it up, “If you look at Britain today, it’s really all about chavs and hoodies running wild and thieving things, yet they will put it all on the line for a free pair of trainers- that’s so London, and quite Olympic in way. So we couldn’t be more pleased with our winning design”.

“Imagine, if these overpaid sporting-committee types got real and stopped trying to be so ‘street’ and so cool, getting down with youth, they would’ve delivered a decent brand for the Olympics, you get me bruv? “

We could’ve saved them 400K, all they had to do was ask. In the end, we had to sort out the damn thing out ourselves. Here here.

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