Portage la Prairie, MB –

A sultry survey exclusive to CIPP-TV reveals Portagers are getting hot and heavy in a variety of locations in and around Portage la Prairie.

In light of the fact Portage la Prairie folks make love more than any other municipality, except Carman(click here to read the full story), we wanted to find out where Portagers are getting frisky outside the home. We were surprised the list included garbage dumps and graveyards but hey, this is the City of Possibilities.

The survey was conducted the first week of September and showed 9 locations were responsible for 88% of the make-out sessions. These were romantic encounters that either occurred outside, at a public place or in an automobile.

Here is the hit list.

The Dump Hill – Portage’s version of make out point. Respondents noted the highest point in Portage made them feel closer to the stars and the views of Mellenville and the Trans Canada Highway were exceptionally romantic. The knowledge they were making love on a mound of decades worth of garbage felt fitting for some and ironic for others.

Island Park at night – When the sun goes down and the shadows come out the dimly lit park offers lovers a plethora of options. Wide open spaces, secluded spots and grassy meadows all add romance to a late night date. Please note that during the winter none of these apply.

The Portage Diversion – Portage’s Niagara Falls attracts romantics year round. The roar of the falls and natural beauty provide the perfect back drop for romantic encounters. Like Niagara Falls, the diversion attracts a large number of honeymoon couples from nearby hotels.

Delta Beach – A moonlight walk along the beach, a bon-fire for two or a little hanky-panky in the water on a hot summer day are all reasons why this attraction just 15 minutes north is well worth the trip. Just a warning to all considering Delta – sand in your shorts or other places could prove hazardous.

The Portage Mall – If a quiet secluded place to make out is your preference than The Mall is a perfect destination. Open during the day and evenings, with few stores and fewer shoppers you will virtually have your choice of spots for love fun.

The Old Lagoons – In the north-east corner of the city is the old sewage lagoons that are pastoral and isolated. A perfect place to get close to nature while doing the wild thing while spotting deer, raccoons, gophers and skunks.

Under The Overpass – Portage’s architectural marvel, the Sklyline Bridge is commonly called the Overpass or Tupper Street Bridge but it is a haven for lovers. A very busy and popular spot for romance seekers and others if you are lucky enough to show up first you’ll want to bring a jacket or blanket to sit on. Avoid spots where other have gone to the washroom or vomited and you should be fine.

The McKay Reservoir – Portage’s best spot to watch the sunset during the summer. You can sit on the back of the reservoir’s grassy knoll and enjoy the trains rolling by and a perfect view of the sunset with your partner. Tucked perfectly between McKay Ave and the train tracks the spot is easily accessed by the new, upgraded path.

Hillside Cemetery – This spot might not be for everyone but if you are feeling like your love life is a little (ahem) dead you might want to give it a whirl. Quiet, peaceful and serene combines with the fright and creepiness of night for a range of sensations some find appealing. Please remember to respect grave-sites and stay on roadway and paths. Who knew the graveyard could breath new life into your relationship.

Notice to readers/disclaimer – please click here to read more about the satirical and fictional nature of this story and website. We do not recommend or encourage making love in any of these or any other Portage area locations. Nor do we support making out in any way, shape or form. Please do not try this at home or at any of the locations mentioned. Please see a doctor if you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours. Please eat and drink responsibly and remember its just a game, don’t gamble money you can’t afford.

Photo: Nicu Buclei – https://www.flickr.com/photos/nicubunuphotos/