A man in his 70s has spent the day contemplating his own mortality and the fact he might not have long left to really fuck over future generations.

Bill Williams, 72, is becoming increasingly aware that he is in his winter years on this planet, and if he wants to put the screws into younger generations, he’d better do it now.

‘So far I’ve just been treating it all like a game. Now I don’t have long left, so I’m really going to have bear down harder on the youth of today. They don’t deserve the easy ride I got,’ Bill told us.

Mr Williams plans to continue voting for right-wing political causes as well as increasing his negative impact on the environment.

He is also on the verge of getting a reverse mortgage so that he can blow through his house equity before he dies, leaving his children nothing.

‘I know they need some help but they’re not getting it from me,’ laughed Bill.