People who ‘just tell it like it is, mate’ continue hurling abuse towards innocent 16-year-old girl

The usual people who reckon being deliberately horrible is a sign of strength are at it again.

Graduates from The School of Life and/or the School of Hard Knocks have banded together to hurl bizarre amounts of vitriol towards Greta Thunberg, a 16-year-old girl who has done nothing wrong and reckons we should stop murdering the planet we live on.

“She’s such a fucking dick,” said Simon Williams, a lonely, angry man in desperate need of therapy but won’t go because he’s not one of those snowflakes.

“She’s 16 and she’s up there giving out to world leaders. Who does she think she is? Why isn’t she smoking and having an unhealthy relationship with alcohol like normal people her age?”

“Yes, by ‘normal people’ I mean me. My experience is the healthy norm which has led to this point where I’m calling a 16-year-old climate change activist a dick. Nothing wrong with that. Just telling it like it is, mate.

“…do you know any single women? I’m so lonely.”