I moved to Wales in 2000. It was the first time I’d lived in a country where politicians began sentences with, “As a proud Welshman/woman...” then listed all the things their country was too small, too poor and stupid to do for itself.

We saw a version of that last month when Wales’ MPs voted to ignore Wales and Scotland’s voice in the Brexit negotiations. Does anyone really think that English MPs would have dared to vote against their country’s voice?

I asked myself when I’d ever heard anyone begin, “As a proud Englishman/woman...” then list all the things England couldn’t do for itself. The answer was: never. This is a Welsh affliction, and it is at the heart of the Welsh political establishment, which is of course a Westminster establishment.

Can you really imagine the Flemish or the Irish, or for that matter the Slovenians (population two million), saying that despite all their “pride” they don’t think they’re much good at running themselves? I thought not.

And yet the Welsh seem perfectly happy to have their political, cultural and economic destiny determined by anyone but themselves. We have leaders’ debates where Wales isn’t mentioned, Houses of Parliament where our MPs don’t turn up to Welsh debates, and we are run by Westminster parties who make it a point of honour to say how little we can do for ourselves.

Our resources – coal, water, people – are always “British”, but our problems – ill-health, old age, economic decline – are “Welsh”.

No other country I’ve ever lived in – and I’ve lived in a lot of countries – would accept that. Sometimes, when I’ve been away for a few days, as I recently have, I return to Wales and it hits me right between the eyes: while elsewhere in the world small countries are standing on their own two feet, Wales is the only one that’s actually in danger of becoming an appendage-region rather than a country, let alone a nation.

Brexit showed that Britain no longer exists and British nationalism is just a hollow concept made up of what it really always was: English nationalism. The Scots don’t want Brexit and the Northern Irish don’t want Brexit – but Wales was taken in by lies on the side of a bus.

Corbyn refused to fight for our place in Europe and the Tories did what they do best: lie to the poor, help the rich get richer, and blame foreigners.

During Euro 2016, Wales was the toast of Europe. I know this – this English dad took his Welsh son to France to watch the football. I spoke to policemen, café owners, bus drivers and restaurateurs who said the Welsh were amazing players and great fans.

Some of them hadn’t even heard of Wales before. Many of them wanted to come and see the place. Our fans were admired across Europe, bringing cities to a standstill with their singing. My French uncle said the Welsh fans’ anthem brought tears to his eyes. Wales was on the map.

But it didn’t last. Suddenly, Wales was on another map – the map of England. As Scotland and Northern Ireland voted to remain in Europe, Wales voted to follow the leader.

As Brexit has marked a spike in hate crime, racism and xenophobia, a walking-dead PM plays politics with the rights of EU citizens while a Labour Party that’s supposed to be protecting us remains divided and ineffective. Wales is still shackled to an English nationalism that gets uglier by the day, fed by spineless politicians and vicious tabloids whose billionaire owners avoid their taxes.

One look at the national anthems should tell you: the English one is about royalty and ruling the seas and being better than everyone else.

The Welsh ones and Irish and Scottish ones are about – well, just being equal to everyone else.

But at least the Scottish and Northern Irish have stood tall and said: “We’re Europeans and we want to stay Europeans.”

Wales appears to have said: “We’re English, basically, we’re just the poor relation.”

OK, so that £350m extra for the NHS was a lie, OK, so our children and grandchildren won’t be able to work and live and love and travel to Europe, and sure, we already have higher prices and lower pay...

I’m English. Or rather, I’m half-English and half-Belgian, and I’m the product of Irish immigration to industrial Newcastle. I’m proud of that, because I felt that this was what it was to be British: I was an Englishman who had moved to Wales, and I was made of Belgium, England and Ireland ­– born of a city that made ships and traded goods and looked out onto the world.

I don’t feel British any more, because Brexit killed Britain as a political and national and cultural entity. Last month’s Westminster vote only reminded us of that. British nationalism no longer exists because Britain no longer exists as a place in the heart and mind and in the imagination. It’s English nationalism writ even larger than before. I admire the likes of Billy Bragg and I still believe in the progressive, open Englishness he has expressed for so long. It exists, yes, but I see little sign of it in the media and the political class. Even so-called socialists in Corbyn’s Labour Party are taking it out on foreigners. I am no longer fooled.

So I have chosen to be Welsh, and I have chosen a small-nation, civic and open nationalism as my political and cultural identity. The only alternative is an English nationalism that is turning nastier by the day, that is narrow, inward-looking and nostalgic, that is based on supremacy and on a delusional belief in its superiority, and has been hijacked by the Right while the old and the new Left fight their civil war.

Theresa May said it all: “If you’re a citizen of the world, you’re a citizen of nowhere.”

The views behind that statement are an affront to decency. While May’s government of liars, xenophobes, little Englanders and buffoons staggers on and “our” Royal Family dodge taxes on their obscene wealth, Britain has become an international joke.

If Wales doesn’t stand up to be counted, the rest of the world will have forgotten that Wales ever existed. Brexit Britain already has. Being part of this UK is like being handcuffed to a psychopath, and it’s time Wales reached for the bolt-cutters.