Amanda Marcotte

It's been two years since Democrats first started winning elections by accusing Republicans of waging war on women. You would think that Republicans would have figured out some way to defend themselves against that accusation, even if only on the surface. But as the midterm elections draw near, it's become increasingly clear that not only do Republicans have no idea how to appeal to women, many of their attempts are so ham-fisted and sexist that they're actually going to backfire.

Take for instance, this baffling ad that was run in 6 states for their gubernatorial elections. The ad, purchased by the College Republican National Committee, uses the popular TLC show Say Yes To The Dress as the inspiration. But the twist is that these wedding dresses are actually candidates. For instance, the Florida ad features the heroine, named Brittany (of course), trying to choose between a sexy dress called "Rick Scott" and a dowdy one named "Charlie Crist". Or in Pennsylvania, she's trying to pick between the "Tom Corbett" and the "Tom Wolf".

The implication of these ads, which appear to be trying to win single female voters, is that young women are a bunch of flibbertigibbets who can't be bothered with politics unless baited with wedding dresses and a bunch of excited squealing.

There's a deep irony here, in that Republicans frequently claim that Democrats are the ones who are somehow underestimating women when Democrats do things like highlight policy differences on reproductive rights or equal pay between the parties. Attack ads aimed at Democrats, such as one run against Mark Udall in Colorado or a generic anti-Obama ad run in multiple states, try to frame Democratic support of affordable contraception as a form of condescension. "We aren't single-issue voters," complains the actress in one ad. "He thinks the only thing I care about is free birth control," says the actress in another.

The ads backfire, however, because they suggest that Republicans believe that women who care about birth control are incapable of caring about any other issues. That Republicans end up condescending to women even when trying to convince women it's the other guy who is condescending. Women can see how Republicans portray them and their votes reflect it. Polling shows that the Democratic lead amongst unmarried women, which was strong to begin with, has doubled since July and may be enough to hand the midterms to the Democrats.

While discussing the fact that most single women vote Republican on Fox News back in July, pundit Jesse Watters dismissively said these women are "Beyoncé voters" and added, "You know, they depend on government because they're not depending on their husbands." Never mind that Beyoncé is a married woman who makes more than her husband. The obvious reason to bring up her name is to suggest that this entire sector of the voting public is silly and inconsequential, as many people like Watters imagine pop music to be. But more importantly, the comment couldn't have been more dismissive of the ambitions, talents, and independence of all women, most of whom do work for a living instead of choosing between living on welfare or being a housewife.

Similarly, on Rush Limbaugh's show, there was an almost hilarious attempt to argue that unmarried women are failures as people and that must be why they vote for Democrats. A caller to the show argued that single women — as a group — "are victims. They can never be the hot young wife." Apparently in her mind, no "hot young wives" have ever spent a moment of their lives single prior to the hot-young-wife years.

Limbaugh eagerly agreed that unmarried women are insecure, saying they feel like "victims" and are "resentful for whatever human nature did not give to (them)" and therefore are being exploited by the Democratic party for votes. The possibility that women might actually be making conscious decisions based on their own needs and values system didn't enter into it. No, the argument is that if women don't vote for Republicans, it must be something deeply, damn near psychologically sick and wrong with them.

"You can't tell a woman that her values are wrong if you want her vote," Bill Scher of Real Clear Politicsrecently argued. "To reach these voters, candidates need to either address the substance of those concerns, or at least find a way to disagree without being dismissive of them." But dismissive or condescending appears to be the best Republicans can do. Or worse: diagnosing women as screwed up people if they prefer Democratic support for reproductive rights and equal pay over Republican attacks on abortion and promises to slash the social safety net. But if Republicans ever want to shame the claim that they are waging war on women, then it's high time they stopped telling women what's so wrong with them and considered actually listening to their concerns.

Amanda Marcotte blogs about feminism and politics.

In addition to its own editorials, USA TODAY publishes diverse opinions from outside writers, including ourBoard of ContributorsTo read more columns like this, go to the opinion front pageor follow us on twitter @USATopinionor Facebook.