(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

You might have read recently that the heatwave we’ve all been enjoy (read: suffering through) is good for your sex life.

Apparently it’s down to increased exposure to Vitamin D, higher serotonin levels and the general bonhomie that sunshine tends to bring.

To all of that, I say bollocks.

If you’ve been having lots of sex over the last sticky, sultry week then I salute you, because at one point my husband touched my arm and I considered filing for divorce.


I cannot understand, and probably never will understand, how anyone could want to spent time during a heatwave making themselves even hotter.



It’s like when you see someone dripping with sweat on a run. Is it impressive? Yes. Does it make me question their viability as a human person? Also yes.

The idea of sunshiney sex is nice. And perhaps if you’re rolling in the cool grass under the shade of an oak tree in a totally fictional version of the countryside, it would be. But that’s not what heatwave sex actually looks like.

Real heatwave sex involves two people sweating into each other’s skin, rubbing together lubricated by your own bodily emissions and hoping it’ll all be over before your respective torsos get so slippery you risk injury.

Or a complex negotiation about which sex position requires the absolute least bodily contact in order to minimise the sweat-on-sweat issue. (It’s doggy style.)

In the middle of winter, there’s nothing nicer than pulling the curtains, putting the heating on and falling into bed, absorbing the heat of another person’s body. But in summer? Please no.

Lovely alone bed with no other people in it (Picture: Ella Byworth/metro.co.uk)

The problem with an aversion to hot sex is that it can make you feel like you’re missing out, or even failing. On the latter part of my honeymoon I found myself panicking that I didn’t want to get it on in 38 degrees (I booked an apartment with no air con, well done me) and thinking that it somehow invalidated my relationship.

How regularly you have sex is often used as a measure of the health of your relationship, which isn’t at all fair.

A healthy amount of sex for one couple would be a drought for another. There’s no ‘normal’ amount to have sex. As long as you’re roughly in sync with your partner about how often you want to do it, you haven’t got a problem.

Having sex infrequently isn’t an automatic failing, and having sex a lot isn’t an instant win. Just because you and your partner constantly have sex, that doesn’t mean that your relationship is healthy. In fact, lots of highly passionate relationships can be toxic.

Sexual dysfunction in a relationship (otherwise known as a ‘sexless marriage’) is defined as having sex fewer than ten times a year, which is just under once a month. If you’re not having sex around once a month, it might be worth talking about it, assessing how bothered you actually are, and perhaps trying some couples therapy.



It’s very normal to go through stages of having lots of sex and then less. Your sex drive is affected by everything from your menstrual cycle, to stress levels, alcohol consumption, general health or exposure to vitamin D. And, in my case, the weather.

Those of you who are deeply horny but can’t handle being in a tangle of sweaty limbs might want to consider our handy guide to summer sex. Or, if you want to keep things simple, stick a fan on over your bed and enjoy a gentle session of mutual masturbation.

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