Following several days of running short distances, England has proven to be better than Australia at hitting a ball with an elongated paddle.

“This proves once and for all that the English are best at hitting the ball, except for the times when we’ve not been the best at hitting the ball,” England captain Alastair Cook declared after the victory at the Trent Bridge certified ball-hitting area in Nottinghamshire.

Over the seventeen days of play, there were several minutes of excitement.

At one point, a ball was hit and then caught by someone standing nearby, forcing the runners to stop running and go and have a cup of tea. Fortunately, several more runners were available, who then commenced running. No runners succeeded in getting anywhere.

A ball also caused a piece of wood to fall off three other pieces of wood. A Nottingham City Council spokesperson said the Council’s building control department is investigating the precise cause of the collapse, and if there may be a less dangerous position for the wood.

“Certainly, it might be better somewhere away from the balls,” the spokesperson said.

It is not yet clear if the same ball was involved in both incidents.

The win marked the end of the latest instalment of a long history between the two countries of hitting balls and running, which has included times when England has been better at both hitting the ball and running, and times when Australia has been better at both hitting the ball and running.

Australian captain Michael Clark attributed his team’s loss to its “failure to win.”

No deaths have yet been reported.