The Center For Disease Control has released a detailed report regarding causes of death, using data from 2013. The report was released on February 16th, and nearly a week later, no mention of it by Bloomberg’s Everytown For Gun Safety, which is the research and PAC wing of his gun control efforts.

There’s a reason for the silence. They don’t want you to know that gun related homicide doesn’t even crack the top 15 causes of death in America.

They don’t want you to know that you’re more likely to die by slipping and falling down a staircase than by an “accidental” discharge. Everytown likes to make “gun violence” out to be a “women’s issue”, but they don’t want you to know that men are nearly seven times more likely to die from someone using a gun in a homicide than women are.

Here are some of the many takeaways from the new report:

Firearm related deaths totaled 33,636 in 2013. Of those, 21,175 were suicide, 505 were accidental discharges, and 11,208 were assault related (homicide). There were 516 “legal intervention” deaths, but the report does not specify how many those were firearm related.

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Not even the CDC considers “gun violence” to be its own category.

The top 15 causes of death, in order, are:

Heart disease – 611,105 Malignant neoplasms (cancer) – 584,881 Chronic lower respiratory diseases – 149,205 Accidents (unintentional injuries) – 130,557 Cerebrovascular diseases (I don’t even know what that means) – 128,978 Alzheimer’s – 84,767 Diabetes – 75,578 Flu and pneumonia – 56,979 Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome and nephrosis (sounds like a metal band) – 47,112 Suicide – 41,149 Septicemia (I think this is an alien race on Star Trek) – 38,156 Liver disease & cirrhosis – 36,427 Hypertension – 30,770 Parkinson’s – 25,196 Pneumonitis due to solids and liquids 18,579

Poisonings accounted for 48,545 deaths, of which 80% were accidental. You are more likely to die by accidentally swallowing bleach and ammonia than by someone shooting you.

31,240 people died in accidental falls. You are more likely to die by slipping on ice than you are by someone shooting you.

There were 33,804 motor vehicle deaths.

Alcohol induced causes were responsible for 29,001 deaths.

Suicides totaled 41,149, of which 21,175 were firearm related and 19,974 were not. The report does not detail the other methods by which people committed suicide, but one can imagine that hanging, intentional drug overdose, and jumping from buildings and bridges were on there.

Of the total suicides, 32,055 were by men and 9,094 were by women, and 18,214 of the firearm suicides were committed by males while 2,934 were by females. This shows that suicide and gun related suicide is much more of a men’s issue than a women’s issue, as men accounted for 3 1/2 times the total number of suicides than females, and accounted for over six times the rate of gun related suicides when compared to women.

Of the total number of firearm assaults, men accounted for 9,445 while women accounted for 1,763, for an 85% /15% split. Yup, still a men’s issue.

A real women’s issue is renal failure, where they outnumbered the male deaths, and firearm assault deaths, with 23,136. 190,617 women died in the “all other diseases” category. Women are also more likely than men to die from chronic respiratory diseases, with 78,888 deaths, and hypertension at 17,807.

The Bloombergers and Brady Bunch also like to use “THE CHILDREN!” in their hysterics and propaganda. But a look at the real numbers reveal yet more areas where they miss the real opportunities to save the kids.

From ages 0-14, the leading causes of death are accidents. This includes motor vehicle accidents, falls, drowning, and “unspecified non transport” accidents. These total 3,993. Accidental discharge of firearms results in a total of 69 deaths in children 0-14, while drownings accounted for 625. I’m waiting anxiously for the new, grassroots Moms For Water Safety group to form.

In the suicide category for ages 5-14, non firearm methods outnumbered the firearm methods by a near 2 to 1 ratio, 257 to 138.

Of the 32,848 child deaths, ages 0-14, a grand total of 409 were firearm related. Motor vehicle accidents accounted for 1345 deaths in the same age group, and assault without a firearm caused 703.

Non firearm assaults were responsible for 4,913 deaths in all age groups, 30% of the total deaths by assault. This shows that when someone can’t get a firearm, they can still kill with a knife, hammer, fists, kicks, cars, and misc. blunt objects.

So, to summarize, perhaps Michael Bloomberg, Nick Hanauer, Paul Allen, and Bill Gates should be allocating more of their billions to heart disease research, cancer research, diabetes research, safe bathtubs, and un-fall-able stairs and ladders, since those are all responsible for exponentially more deaths than “gun violence”.