The holidays are here again, and you know what that means — gift guides! (What, you were thinking Christmas trees, latkes, and seasonal good cheer?) This year, we’ve already seen more of them than we can count, designed for just about every imaginable niche. And that’s why we knew we had to go big. With that in mind, it’s our pleasure to present the all-new second coming of our epic annual holiday shopping guide: 100 Gifts for 100 Cultural Icons. From Woody Allen to Mark Zuckerberg, we sought out unique items for the actors, artists, musicians, filmmakers, politicians and other celebrities that we love — and love to hate. Click through the guide to find the perfect gift for the Tina Fey, Andy Warhol, or Nicki Minaj in your life.

The guide begins on page 2. Check out some highlights below:

Wes Anderson Take Ivy, $16.20 at Amazon

The Coen Brothers Utopia Cowboy Candleholder, $48 from Jonathan Adler

Tina Fey Retainer Necklace, $250 from Areaware

Charlie Sheen The Playboy Cover to Cover Hard Drive, $300 from Playboy

Anna Wintour Foxy Scarf by Eugenia Kim, $232 from Shopbop

Click through to the next page to see the entire guide.

1. Woody Allen Sigmund Freud Action Figure $9 from Archie McPhee & Co

Because for only nine bucks we can save him from countless future trips to the analyst.

2. Wes Anderson Take Ivy, $16 at Amazon

Originally published in Japan in 1965, this photographic paean to Ivy League style was reprinted in the US a few months ago by powerHouse. And it sure would look nice on the coffee table of the man who best embodies the vintage preppy-hipster look it celebrates.

3. Julian Assange Undercover Laptop Sleeve, $28 from Flight 001

The guy behind WikiLeaks is going to have to do more than just camouflage his laptop if he wants to avoid the wrath of the American government — but hey, it’s a start.

4. Alec Baldwin Ovopur Decanter, $699 from AHAlife

The man who plays Jack Donaghy shouldn’t drink from just any old water cooler. This gorgeous egg-shaped vessel is made from porcelain.

5. Banksy Balloon Animal Bookend, $40 from Fred Flare

A prank gift for the ultimate street art prankster, because we all know how much Banksy loves Jeff Koons…

6. Glenn Beck Wingnut Necklace, £39 from Michael Marriott

No explanation necessary.

7. Best Coast Kissing Rabbits Tuck Box, £125 from Anorak

Nothing reminds us of Bethany Cosentino’s music quite like these kitschy, smooching love bunnies. We assume she’d use it to hide her stash.

8. Justin Bieber Secret Identity Eye Glass Kit, $40 from Matt Singer

While we’re still mystified by his celebrity, we have no doubt that it’s hard being chased around by rabid tweens 24/7.

9. Anthony Bourdain Knife Holder, $158 from A + R

This knife set would be the perfect thing for a chef/author/meat fan known for his aggressive talk.

10. Russell Brand Tits ‘n Arse Teacup, £45.00 from Coco de Mer

Naughty and British, just like Brand. And, if his new wife is any indication, these are apparently parts of the female anatomy he’s partial to.

11. Sandra Bullock Betrayed! Lamp-in-a-Box, $69 from Design Warehouse

For the year’s highest profile victim of infidelity.

12. William S. Burroughs Apple Pipe, $1500 from Artware Editions

Sculptor Malia Jensen isn’t the only artist who’s simulated the famous William Tell stunt. Burroughs — who could always appreciate a good (opium) pipe — actually killed his wife doing it.

13. Tim Burton Edgar Allan Poe Library Candle, $24 from Library Foundation of Los Angeles

What do you get the goth filmmaker on your list who has everything? A candle that smells just like The Raven — cardamom, absinthe, and cinnamon.

14. David Byrne Bike Bell, $20 from The Curiosity Shoppe

A classy bell for the classiest cyclist we can think of.

15. Mariah Carey Butterfly Mirror, $49 from A&G Merch

Most butterfly stuff is gross, but we’ll let you have this one, Mimi. Put it in the baby’s room.

16. Michael Cera Woodchucks Tee, $15 from Threadless

Can’t you just see this twee tee on America’s favorite boy next door?

17. Cher Torchlight Romper by The Lake & Stars, $200 from Azaleas

At this year’s MTV Video Music Awards, Cher proved that she could still rock her “If I Could Turn Back Time” getup, but we think this softer version of sexy black lingerie feels a lot more modern.

18. Diablo Cody Pop Culture Pencils, $8 from Greenwich Letterpress

The writer who gave us “honest to blog” and the hamburger phone would surely appreciate these culturally literate pencils.

19. The Coen Brothers Utopia Cowboy Candleholder, $48 from Jonathan Adler

While there doesn’t seem to be anything kitschy about their upcoming flick True Grit, we imagine that the same men who gave us The Big Lebowski would get a kick out of these fanciful cowboy candle holders.

20. Stephen Colbert The Great Bear Pamphlet Series, $350 and up from Amazon

Considering the attraction-repulsion he has going with all things ursine, we think Colbert would be fascinated by this box of rare ’60s and ’70s art zines, which include contributions by everyone from Claes Oldenburg to John Cage.

21. Tom Colicchio Things I Like Tray, $88 from John Derian

The Top Chef judge/host is very particular, so if he serves you something on this tray, you’re in for a treat.

22. Sofia Coppola Le Café Print, $42 from Society6

Like Sofia, we have a hard time picking a favorite when it comes to the great Paris vs NYC debate. This fun series of affordable art prints helps put both cities’ strengths into perspective.

23. Billy Corgan Giant Microbes – Swine Flu, $8.95 from Exit 9

In case you’ve forgotten, Billy Corgan had some very interesting things to say about swine flu — including that it was “created by man.” We’re thinking it probably wasn’t, but this cute H1N1 plush sure was.

24. Rivers Cuomo Tokyo Girl by David Choe, $250 from Trapeze Editions

David Choe’s new limited-edition print is inspired by half-Japanese girls. Anyone who’s ever listened to “El Scorcho” will remember that the Weezer frontman shares the obsession.

25. Paula Deen Piece o’ Cake, $30 from Rio Grande Games

This is a game about cake. We’re not really sure how it works, but if there’s buttercream icing involved, Deen will probably like it.

26. Ellen DeGeneres Animal Mugs, $14 each from A&G Merch

She loves animals, spends her days interviewing celebrities, and has a great sense of humor. We think Ellen would like the Gaga mug best.

27. Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard Possessive Pillowcases, $20 each from Makelike

Few couples could pull off these precious typographic pillow covers nearly as well as Zooey and Ben.

28. Diplo Revolution USB Record Player, $99 from Fred Flare

What to get for the globetrotting DJ who has everything: this tiny, travel-ready USB turntable.

29. Michael Douglas Dow Jones Hanky, $17 from Design Glut

A board room-appropriate souvenir of the stock market crash, for the man who brought Gordon Gekko back to life in this year’s Wall Street sequel.

30. Lena Dunham Circle of Trust Subscription, $150 from Oscilloscope Laboratories

When you’re the most buzzed about indie filmmaker of the year, the best way to stay on top of your game is to watch what other indie filmmakers are doing; this subscription will get you dibs on the next 10 DVDs that Oscilloscope releases.

31. Eminem Silver Vicodin Ring, $492 from Oak NYC

A little souvenir from Marshall Mathers’ epic pill problem.

32. Jimmy Fallon Trails Rucksack by Dusen Dusen, $200 from Of a Kind

We can’t get him a Saved by the Bell reunion, but we can give him a backpack with a print inspired by Lisa Turtle’s dad’s sweater.

33. Dakota Fanning Lolita T-shirt, $28 from Out of Print Clothing

What’s more shocking than America’s teen sweetheart all dolled up in Cherie Currie’s bustier? Well, how about this Lolita tee?

34. Tina Fey Retainer Necklace, $250 from Areaware

We cringed when Jack Donaghy found Liz Lemon’s retainer at the Air and Space Museum — approximately 25 years after she lost it there on a junior high trip — and she immediately put it in her mouth. This is a more stylish way to relive those nerdy glory days.

35. James Franco Pixel Eyeglass Sleeping Mask, $24 from Designboom

Seriously, dude. Give working a rest and get some sleep.

36. Jonathan Franzen Tony Capitol Glasses Case by Steve Mono, $53 from Opening Ceremony

This vintage-inspired case is one way to make sure your glasses don’t get swiped at your next book party.

37. Judah Friedlander Ninjabread Men, $12 from Annie’s Blue Ribbon General Store

A gift that combines two of this 30 Rock star’s favorite things: martial arts and baked goods.

38. Zach Galifianakis Dude No. 1 Beard Oil, $65 from MCMC Fragrances

We’re sure our favorite bro with a righteous beard would appreciate this playfully titled scent.

39. Greta Garbo Pipe Match Striker, $42 from Jonathan Adler

Not only was Garbo the woman who uttered the famous line, “Put that in your pipe and smoke it,” but she was also an avid pipe smoker.

40. Andrew Garfield Hero/Zero Mittens, $95 from Jack Spade

These should keep the new Spider-Man warm all winter, as he struggles through his character’s typical personality crisis.

41. Kathie Lee Gifford Good Morning/Good Night Letterpress Poster, $48 from Dolce Press

An awesome glow-in-the-dark poster for a woman who actually seems to be happy (or giddy, or tipsy) all the time.

42. Girl Talk Eskuche 33 1/3 Headphones, $64.99 from Insound

You’ve got to be stylish at the decks when you’re America’s favorite mash-up dance-party DJ.

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43. Sasha Grey Coming and Crying, $24 from Glass Houses

The thinking person’s porn star, Grey has crossed over to serious cinema, makes music, and has a novel, Neu Sex, coming out next year. So, what better to get the James Franco of smut than a book of sexy stories by literati including Douglas Wolk, Tao Lin, Stephen Elliott, and Jonathan Ames?

44. Tim Gunn Designers I Met and Liked Notebook, €29.95 from Archie Grand

If this season is any indication, he’ll also need a Producers and/or Judges I Met and Hated notebook.

45. Jon Hamm Bottle Opener Ring, $8 from Fred Flare

This season, Don Draper tried to quit alcohol — by switching to beer. This attractive bottle-opener ring will help him stay sober(ish) and fashionable.

46. Damien Hirst Skull Cake Pan, $31 from Amazon

Yes, perhaps it’s a little obvious, but it’s also awesome.

47. Jim Jarmusch Murrays Poster, $27 from Society6

In case you haven’t noticed, the director is pretty obsessed with his recent favorite muse, Bill Murray.

48. The Jolie-Pitts Family Series Pillow, $134+ from K Studio

This enormous, beautiful family would fill up every inch of space on this personalized pillow.

49. January Jones Indelicate Doilies, $8 from Urban Outfitters

For our favorite homemaker with a heart of glass, some doilies Betty Francis can use to tell her family and friends how she really feels.

50. Ke$ha Andy Warhol ’15 Minute Watch’ Temporary Tattoo, $5 from MOCA Store Online

A non-permanent reminder, my darling, that your 15 minutes of being sleazy are almost up.

51. Alicia Keys New York State Necklace, $40 from Refinery29

So she can keep the “concrete jungle where dreams are made” close to her heart.

52. Jeff Koons Dirty Latch Hook Pillow Kit, V.3 Leather, $35 at Dirtypillowz.net

A fitting craft project for an artist who appreciates porn.

53. Lady Gaga Monroe Python Wedge, $348 at Pixie Market

We thought of doing some weird meat thing, but that’s over now, and there’s nothing worse than a gift that doesn’t stand the test of time. Instead, we picked these out for a woman who’s never met a weirdly glamorous pair of shoes she didn’t like.

54. Spike Lee Brownstone Pillow, $36 at Supermarkethq

He may have moved to the Upper East Side, but these pillows will ensure that he dreams about his youthful stomping grounds of Brownstone Brooklyn.

55. Jay Leno Mini Flowersign, $75 from Mark Jenkins

A back-handed gift — and helpful suggestion — for a late-night host who pushed out his rightful heir, street artist Jenkins’ tiny versions of his real-life modified street signs succinctly express our hopes and dreams for Leno.

56. Courtney Love Marie Antoinette Bubble Bath No. 15, $22 from TokyoMilk

She almost named this year’s Hole comeback How Dirty Girls Get Clean. But as far as we can tell, she’s not there yet. Maybe this bubble bath — decorated with an image eerily reminiscent of her Nobody’s Daughter album cover — will help!

57. Jane Lynch Backdated Confidence Trophies, $75 from Partners & Spade

Sue Sylvester would surely stock her office with these retro trophies. Who would know the difference, right?

58. Rachel Maddow Spherical Ice Tray Set, $16 from MoMA Design Store

For the truly cocktail obsessed, like this MSNBC star, a handful of tiny cubes is no substitute for a nice, big rock of slow-melting ice. Also, these spherical… well… yeah, they kinda look like boobs.

59. John Mayer The Polar Bears: A Coloring and Activity Book, $7 from Toronto Zoo

For the man whose “dick is like a Nazi,” a coloring book with all-white crayons.

60. Ryan McGinley Sexy Hotness Sleeping Bag, $149 from Alite

Considering that he’s so fond of photographing pretty, naked young things in the wilderness, he would find these intercourse-ready sleeping bags helpful.

61. Joel McHale TV Head Necklace, $65 from A + R

We’re hoping the host of The Soup is comfortable enough with his masculinity to wear a necklace that so fully embodies his job.

62. M.I.A. Magic Ikat Teapot, $98 at Anthropologie

It’s been a tiring year for the cross-cultural rapper. We imagine that between her controversial career and her baby, this mom could use a nice, relaxing cup o’ tea — and this funky pot certainly fits her aesthetic.

63. Lea Michele Vintage Funny Face Poster, $13 from Amazon

A not so subtle hint that when this revival comes to Broadway in 2012, we’d like this Glee star at the helm.

64. Nicki Minaj Leather Sash Wide Black Belt, $40 from Pixie Market

When Harajuku Barbie was a geisha, her man was a samurai. We bet this Japan-obsessed rapper would flip for this obi-style belt — in leather, because she’s still a tough girl from Queens.

65. Taylor Momsen How the Grinch Stole Christmas, First Edition, $2,495 from Thornwillow

Remember when adorable, young Momsen played Cindy Lou Who? Perhaps this spendy gift will help her remember her calmer, saner roots.

66. Carey Mulligan Fanned Out Earrings, $38 from Garnett Jewelry

Some Art Deco baubles for the lady who will be Daisy Buchanan.

67. Rupert Murdoch Vintage Edition Monopoly, $149 from Restoration Hardware

Who wants to bet that this is the News Corp. mogul’s favorite game? Now, finally, an edition that’s suitably expensive.

68. Joanna Newsom Tiny Acorn Wooden Speaker, $50 from Insound

For the woodland nymph of indie rock, an itty-bitty (USB-charging) speaker that looks like an acorn. Adorable!

69. Karen O Gold Lions Ring, $140 from Need Supply Co.

Gold lion’s gonna tell her where the light is — or maybe just make her eyes light up.

70. Barack and Michelle Obama Places on Earth Map, $180 from Catbird

Because if there’s one thing we know for certain about both Obamas, it’s the fact that they love to travel.

71. Georgia O’Keeffe Bovine Pillow by Archival Decor, $288 from OAK

We’ve always preferred the artist’s bone paintings to her flowers. If she were still alive, we’d want to encourage that fascination.

72. Oprah New York Honey Sampler by Let It Bee, $125 from AHAlife

Is there any better way to show the Queen of All Media how sweet it’d be if she’d run OWN from our neck of the woods than giving her honey collected from hives in New York City?

73. Ellen Page and Ali Shawkat East and West Necklaces, $55 each from Kate Miss

For our favorite Hollywood besties, an elegant, updated take on the friendship bracelet.

74. Gwyneth Paltrow AeroGarden, $149.95 from Sur La Table

A fussy, “NASA-tested aeroponic” counter-top greenhouse for the home cook and GOOP editrix with a notoriously strict diet regimen.

75. Katy Perry Vintage Inspired Tulle Hostess Apron, $24 from Buy Olympia

As her “California Gurls” video showed, Perry’s got a sweet tooth, and a weakness for retro, candy-colored clothing. But she would probably wear this one sans skirt…

76. Ryan Reynolds DC Superheroes Pop-up Book, $30 from The Metropolitan Museum of Art Store

We’re assuming that if his first Green Lantern film does well, there will be more to follow — and they might involve other heroes from the DC universe. Best to study up now.

77. Terry Richardson Keith Haring Condoms, $6 for three at Proper Attire

For the perviest man in art, a gentle and attractive reminder to play it safe.

78. Rihanna Catsuit by Kiki de Montparnasse, $495 from Refinery29

While we’d never be caught dead in a catsuit, RiRi is just the fashion rebel to pull this look off — in the bedroom or out on the streets.

79. Pipilotti Rist The Color Study Locket, $54 from Etsy

A bright, beautiful locket for the most colorful woman in contemporary art.

80. Charlie Sheen The Playboy Cover to Cover Hard Drive, $300 from Playboy

Perhaps a better outlet for his sex addiction than partying with a hooker at The Plaza.

81. Sarah Silverman Nice Jewish Guys 2011 Calendar, $16 from Fred Flare

Word on the street is that this funny Jewess is single. Maybe she’ll find the mensch of her dreams in Mr. July?

82. Steven Slater Threat Level Blue Sampler, $99 from Etsy

What the “don’t touch my junk” campaign needs is a poster boy. Wouldn’t Slater, our most recent air travel-related hero, make a good one?

83. Will Smith Happy Socks, $10 from Need Supply Co.

Sure, he’s a big movie star these days. But we long for his Fresh Prince of Bel-Air/”Parents Just Don’t Understand” days. We’d stuff his stocking with these bright, color-blocked socks as a reminder of how much we miss his funny side.

84. Todd Solondz Evil People in Modernist Homes in Popular Films. Vol. 1 : MMX, $10 from Printed Matter

Ben Critton’s zine, which is about exactly what the title says it’s about, would be perfect for the man who’s made an entire career on deconstructing the lifestyles of the suburban upper-middle class.

85. Jon Stewart Blah Blah Throw, $280 from ReForm School

We could listen to our favorite talking head’s “blah blah blah” for hours. Keep taking no bullshit, Stewart.

86. Martha Stewart Glove & Hate Oven Mits, £14.50 from Magma Books

Finally, oven mits tough enough for daytime TV’s brassiest crafty lady.

87. Biz Stone Power Stretch 5 Finger Liner, $24 from Freehands

We’re sure the Twitter founder wouldn’t be caught dead without his smartphone or tablet, even in the coldest weather. These high-tech gloves will make sure he can use them even when he’s out in a blizzard.

88. Taylor Swift Ernie Bunny Bag by Mandy Coon, $295 from Of a Kind

Just because she’s dating someone who’s a decade older than she is, doesn’t mean Swift needs to abandon her sweet youthful style. Coon’s bag is a perfect mix of playful and sophisticated.

89. Quentin Tarantino Set of 4 Coasters: Build Your Own Favorite Directors, $48 from Etsy

No one loves film more than Tarantino, as evidenced in the homages to classic and B cinema that appear in all of his movies. He also loves himself, so we’re thinking he’d pick up his own coaster, too.

90. Tavi Moxy Ivy Rollerskates, $199 from Urban Outfitters

The littlest fashionista loves all things patterned, playful, and vintage. We’re hoping these will inspire a rockabilly phase.

91. Andy Warhol Banana Pillow, $98 from Jonathan Adler

What pop art pillow would Andy Warhol pass out on after all tomorrow’s parties?

92. Gus Van Sant Psycho Shower Curtain, $20 from Exit 9 Gift Emporium

Van Sant loved the Hitchcock classic so much he did a shot-by-shot remake of it. Now, he can relive it every day in the shower.

93. John Waters Artsy Fartsy T-shirt, $26 from Marc Johns

The perfect gift for someone who sings the praises of Cy Twombly but can still appreciate scatological humor.

94. Kanye West Sneaker Customization Kit, $45 from Uncommon Goods

When you love sneakers and have a big ego, what better way to celebrate your talents than to decorate your own?

95. Ed Westwick The Picture of Dorian Gray, $10 at Amazon

If you’re going to play the Dorian Gray of the Upper East Side, you may as well have a beautiful, new Penguin Classics edition of Oscar Wilde’s classic novel.

96. Betty White Tabletop Shuffleboard, $30 from Uncommon Goods

We worry that, because she’s so in demand these days, 88-year-old White isn’t getting the old-lady leisure time she’s due. The solution: a portable shuffleboard table she can use on location.

97. Brian Wilson At the Beach 1966 Water Perfume, $70 from CB I Hate Perfume

For the man who once built a sandbox around his piano, this unisex fragrance is an easier way to relive that ’60s surf vibe.

98. Amy Winehouse Cheers Mother Fucker Flask, $50 from Refinery29

They tried to make her go to rehab, but she said “Cheers Motherfucker.” Then she went anyway. Now she’s making a new album. Maybe. Or just drinking.

99. Anna Wintour Foxy Scarf by Eugenia Kim, $232 from Shopbop

This funny take on a fox wrap would be an easy way for Nuclear Wintour to get PETA off her back…

100. Mark Zuckerberg Update Me Tee, $20

Zuckerberg might appreciate a T-shirt that promotes even further Facebook-branded oversharing — if he doesn’t simply decide to sue its manufacturer.