In recent news out of your home, it was recently revealed that after a long and difficult day at work, your boyfriend’s attempts to cheer you up have involved exclusively grabbing your boobs.

“I know he thinks it’s helpful somehow, but I’m not really in the mood to have my body prodded like meat,” you explained to us.

“It just seemed like maybe she could use a mood boost,” your boyfriend explained when questioned. “I wanted to make her feel sexy. Also, she looked really hot.”

“I didn’t feel sexy, and I was not at all in the mood to feel sexy,” you told us. “I mean maybe if he had spent some time listening to my problems and given me a shoulder rub… but we were like ten steps away from boob grab territory.”

“Guess I just misread some signals,” says your boyfriend, who is apparently turned on by tears.

“I definitely won’t be trying that again,” he added. “I dunno, maybe I need to grab her boobs more softly.”

At press time your boyfriend was trying to cheer you up by asking if you wanted to watch Avengers.