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I can't undo the tangled threads of love I've left behind I carry them, I trip on them, and sometimes even find that I'm inclined to wind and wind them round and round my heart, to bind, those million little memories that make you come to mind. So many things I want to have another chance to say. So many debts I wish that it were possible to pay. The most precious things in life they just grow up and move away. -------------------- Bigger and scarier and safer than life and the whole wide world -- I felt tall on his shoulders and small. Then those days were gone. Thirteen years and Five pairs of little feet on wooden floors in out of of doors happy screams and laughter bumps and bruises tears and plasters Pencil and eraser labor I helped and forced them through And all that I could do could never be enough. they let me learn to love they let me grow Heroes, characters and cowdogs, So they'd fall asleep feeling loved cats and dogs and guinea pigs one by one they come and go When we are young Everything takes time, And then, Time takes everything. All That I Desire I chased it through the twists of idle pleasures I hunted it through sufferings and pain I tried to purchase it with all my treasures I begged for it, unable to refrain I gazed into the sun and moon and fortunes, Wanting just a glimmer of a clue. I shuffled after it through cards and portions And every magic potion that I knew. I cried for it, my empty voice resounding I lied to try to hide my desperate deeds. And though I boasted righteous works abounding, They were not enough to treat my needs. Temptations I partook of left me hollow And only made me hunger all the more Weakening my strength to even swallow The nurture Nature lay before my door. Models in its image I created False scientific gods to play my game I cheated for it, unknown and unberated Yet only won a prize of private shame. In music and in art I found a sadness That seemed to point the way to something real And a way to misery and madness For we who's care is for the way we feel. I climbed into the heights of sacred learnings And sank into the shallow depths of pride I wallowed in the wastes of selfish yearnings Returning to my infancy inside. By no means could I gain that which I needed To undo the curs'ed damage that I do. 'Til to the Salvager my life was ceded Who died for it, and makes it clean and new. And maybe that was all I ever wanted, For all that I have done to wash away, For all that I have been to be erased, To for the first time be made clean and new. This Side of Heaven (song lyrics) In heaven you would be a cowboy riding through the sunshine on a wild yellow horse. In heaven you'd never sit in traffic headed for the office to join the labor force. In heaven you'd win every battle with a smile on your face. In heaven you'd never feel like a failure and disgrace. Well this side of heaven things don't go the way they should. And this side of heaven you will be misunderstood. This side of heaven you're never quite who you wanted to be. But this side of heaven you're so awesome, dude, that you make me believe. In heaven you would be a princess dancing in the sunset in a pure white wedding dress. In heaven there'd be no dirty laundry, no wishes that don't come true, and life would never be a mess. In heaven you'd never want to cover up your real face. In heaven you'd never feel like a failure and disgrace. Well this side of heaven things don't go the way they should. And this side of heaven you will be misunderstood. Oh this side of heaven you're never quite who you wanted to be. But this side of heaven you're so beautiful, that you make me believe. This world will dim and dull your senses and soothe you out of your mind. It will warm and wear down your defenses until you leave your heart behind. This side of heaven things never really go the way they should. And this side of heaven you will often be misunderstood. Oh this side of heaven you can't really be who you wanted to be. But this side of heaven you're so wonderful that you make me believe. I was a hero without a quest, A poet without a point, A Romeo without a Juliet, And passion without a purpose. So intent on shaping the world into what it should be, Should have shaped myself into what I could be. Should have shaped myself to what the world needs. That small world right around me Where everything and everyone is close enough to see, Close enough to know, Close enough to love, Close enough to really touch. But to chase great changes I could never make I abandoned all the little ones I could.