It’s no secret that working in Japan can be pretty miserable. Long hours, unpaid overtime, power harassment, and mandatory drinking parties with coworkers are just some of the factors that contribute to workers all over Japan leading stressful lives.

But misery loves company, so that’s why we present the top 11 tweets to make you feel glad you don’t work in Japan. Some of them are attempts at encouragement, some of them are commiserating, and some of them are so painfully sad that you can’t help but cry. So read on and see how your own work compares to Japan!

11. The receipt that broke the camel’s back

I was missing one receipt that I needed to finish my accounting, so I searched for it forever by myself. After I finally gave up I told my boss I couldn’t find it. He told me, “I wanted to see that kind of passion in you; hold on to that,” then took a receipt out from his shirt pocket—the receipt I’d been looking for for five hours. At that moment something snapped in me. I want to quit.

経理処理すんのに領収書1枚無くてあらゆる場所1人で調べまくって

見つかりませんでしたって上司に報告したら

「その熱意を見たかった。これからも忘れないで」

ってYシャツ胸ポケットから5時間探してた領収書出してきた。



ポキってなんか折れた。

仕事辞めよう — 一応ミヲミヲってHNなんですがね (@extra_flight) July 8, 2015

Miserable bosses are certainly not unique to Japan, but company hierarchies are more strictly enforced here, leading some of those above thinking they’re actually helping those below them by pulling tricks like this. The only thing they’re actually helping them with is helping them want to quit.

10. What a NEET idea

I wish I had a button that could automatically make any staircase into a slide so I could ease the burden on all the salarymen’s feet (from a kind NEET, or person not in education, employment or training).

This sounds like an excellent idea, especially if the slides can make that soul-crushing commute to work in the morning just a little bit easier.

9. Common corporate courtesy

Apologizing to someone by saying, “I’m sorry for giving you more work when you’re already busy” isn’t going to lower the amount of work they have to do. Instead of apologizing, maybe it’d be nice to compliment them instead. If everyone on the team does it, then everyone can always be saying nice things to each other instead of apologizing, and that seems like it would be a nice atmosphere to work in. I call it the “don’t be a jerk to get people to work” method.

Just for a little bit of context here, it’s very common in Japan to say something like “I’m sorry to disturb you while you’re so busy” or “I’m sorry to give this to you while you’re so busy” as basically just a way of getting someone’s attention when you need them to do something. But of course sometimes people take them literally as apologies…apologies which make very little sense.

8. Social media sleuths

I see a bunch of people on Twitter talking about how they want to take the day off from work, but I don’t see any at all on Facebook…

Most companies are savvy enough to know to keep an eye on Facebook, or to block it in the office, but not all of them know about Twitter just yet. It’s only a matter of time though, so get your server proxies and minimize-clicking fingers ready everyone.

7. Don’t die on company time

When I was a student, this happened at my part-time job. An employee of one of our clients didn’t show up to work one day, but he was a really responsible person so it was strange for him to do that without any sort of notice. Someone from his work went to visit his apartment in the afternoon and found out he’d died of a heart attack. My boss told us, “You all take note. Be sure to come to work on time every day so that if you die, we can find you by the afternoon.”

Because everyone’s goal in life is not to accomplish anything or have fun, but to simply have their corpse discovered in a timely manner after dying.

6. Hilarious hypocrite

A depressing conversation I overheard:

“Man, there’re no companies out that that don’t require overtime. I should work for the government, then I wouldn’t have to do overtime.”

“Excuse me, sorry but I overheard and I work at a government office. We don’t have overtime, but we are often asked to stay late and do extra unpaid work.”

“Well yeah, obviously! You get paid from our taxes so you’d better work hard!”

Ah yes, a classic case of Schrodinger’s Salaryman: it’s impossible to know whether he’s a corporate-hater or government-hater until you observe him complaining about one or the other.

5. Born too late to explore Japanese holidays

My friend just called me on the phone, crying and saying that someone at work told her, “Anyone born in the Heisei Period has no right to take the day off on Showa Day.” She actually decided to not take the day off and is going into work tomorrow.

A little bit of context: the Heisei Period started in 1989, so anyone born after then is born in the Heisei period. The Showa Period was from 1926 to 1989, but Showa Day is still celebrated to honor the former emperor. So basically the person is saying anyone born after 1989 shouldn’t be allowed to take the day off on Showa Day, which is kind of like saying anyone who wasn’t alive during Biblical times shouldn’t be able to take time off work on Christmas.

4. Japanese swear words

“Since this will be finished on Thursday, I’m taking Friday off.”

“Everything’s going well, so I’ll come in in the afternoon.”

“Well we’re all set, so I’m leaving at 3:00 today.”

If it was okay to say things like this, then we wouldn’t need the No Free Overtime Bill. But the Japanese corporate environment would never be okay with anything like this.

The fastest way to never progress in a Japanese company, lose all your friends, and be shunned by your family: just say one of the above phrases.

3. My dad can burn up your dad

Anyone who says “New employees know nothing!” needs to meet my dad. 45 years ago he was a new employee too, and his boss told him to “make a burn of some blueprints.” That of course meant to “make a copy” back in those days, but my dad instead went outside and lit the blueprints on fire. Compared to my dad, I’d say new employees today are geniuses.

Hey, to be fair, “burn a CD” confused me for a long time. I think this dad guy and I could be good friends.

2. Who needs sleep?

On NHK they showed a way to stop feeling tired instantly. All you do is raise your hips up one centimeter, hold it for five seconds, and do it for a total of three times. Apparently it’s how train and bus drivers eliminate their tiredness. When you work your calves it supposedly brings blood from your legs into your brain. Try it at your next boring business meeting!

Because that’s exactly what all the salarymen and women who get only three to four hours of sleep a night need, even less sleep!

1. The prayer was absorbed by the darkness

Something I want to tell all the young students out there: Society is filled with more mean, childish adults who lack any sort of thinking power or sympathy than you can imagine. The societal rules and strictness that they try to push on you aren’t even worth your tears, so don’t worry about them and just walk the path that you believe is correct.

Couldn’t have put it better myself. It’s nice to hope that the next generation will be different, but those “societal rules and strictness” can be pretty powerful and all-consuming at times.

So what do you think? Are these tweets a little too close to home for you? Or have you managed to escape/enjoy the corporate environment? Let us know in the comments!

Source: CuRAZY

Featured/top image: Twitter/@mamekichirou