I often make long, winded posts about different kinds of injustices I observe, but, up until this point, I have been fortunate enough not to have to make an appeal for myself. However, that has changed. Therefore, I hope that you take the time to read this and support me in my endeavor to make my high school a more safe space:

My name is Emily Wang, and I am a senior at Randolph High School in New Jersey. A few days ago, I appealed to my school's NHS and my school against my NHS dismissal. Today, I have been dismissed, but I believe that my dismissal is not only unfair, but re-entrenches an institutional structural violence.

NHS wished to dismiss me on grounds of its scholarly pillar. Unlike the national standard of a 3.25 GPA, our school requires a 3.5 GPA. This by itself is not an unreasonable request--all schools set their own standards--but my GPA fell drastically my junior year during a period of depression. Our school's NHS allows students one semester to make up dropped grades, and I averaged a 3.77 this semester, but even if I earned a 4.0 GPA, I would not have been able to bring my GPA high up enough to remain in the program. Ultimately, my average was a 3.45.

There are numerous problems with this scenario. If an athlete breaks a leg, they do not become kicked off their soccer team; if a scholar breaks their mind, they should not be kicked off an academic society. This kind of mindset is one that punishes mental illness, for though my health deteriorated my junior year, my scholarly dreams did not. Since junior year, I have this year become the only National Merit Scholar at my school, have earned a first semester GPA of 3.77 and have continued, after recovery, to take four AP and two Honors classes. It is very clearly evident that, though my health spiraled, I have not lost my fulfillment of NHS's scholarly pillar.

In my plea to NHS, I requested that precedence not exceed my plea. Among my five-person teacher council, I was met with one that went as far as to laugh in my face; she stated, "I have been here for many years and I have personally reported so many students who I have observed to have been 'having problems.'" The reality is that, as willing to help combat mental illness as this teacher has been, I have had numerous friends undergo periods of much longer and shorter depression than mine whose struggles have gone unheard of.

It is not the school's discretion how much of a grade drop is "appropriate" for a depressed individual, I explained, which is why the "one semester" to bring up a grade is not often enough. If a student was diagnosed with cancer, a school would not mandate that their grade is only allowed to drop by "x" amount; as I almost jumped out a window, I do not believe this is an unfair comparison to make. Both are perilous to life.

My proposal, for me, was that since there is no specification of “cumulative”, “semester” or “marking period” GPA on either my application form, acceptance form or the official bylaws of the organization and there is only an indication that GPA, if it becomes low for one semester, must rise again in the next, it was appropriate in this situation to nullify an institutional injustice. My proposal for the future was that a doctor's note or otherwise could exempt a student's NHS requirements for a semester--for physical illness, mental illness, for loss or for other causes; after all, the national GPA requirement is 3.25, not 3.5, and this threshold would better provide unwell students with the period they need to heal. Both proposals have accomplished nothing; I may try to provide a voice for justice, but it is the institution's role to listen.

A teacher told me that "I was not unique", that every other person that seemed to have a struggle also seemed to be fine; another questioned the period of time I struggled. Reality had me suffering for two months, but educators, those that are supposed to protect, invalidated those consequences. There is clearly discrimination in the disability politics of our school building, yet to protect the "merits" of bureaucracy, a teacher insisted that I be careful with my word choice of "discrimination"--as if being punished for depression is not discrimination.

I hope that you, the reader, support my appeal. My appeal to the NHS council of educators has been rendered silent, but now I petition to you. I hope that you will listen to me, because I may have appealed to a board of educators, but the institution is not a safe space for those that struggle.