I am almost done with my first year of law school and am looking for summer work opportunities. It’s pretty widely known that the internship you get between first and second year of law school is incredibly important, as it can lead to even more internship offers, or even your first job offer!

My first semester grades were okay, not the best, not the worst. Therefore I gave up on the idea of getting a paid internship. Instead, I focused on finding public sector work for experience. I applied for five positions and have gotten called to interview for two so far.

I showed up to the interviews in professional dress, was prepared for the questions they would ask, and overall did a pretty good job of answering them. I felt a great connection at both places and was excited to hear back from them.

Surprise surprise, they chose someone else for both internships. I found out through the grapevine that one job went to a student from a different (better ranked) law school, so I don’t feel bad about that. But the other one went to a girl from my class - a blonde, pretty girl. Judging from how we answer questions in class and the times I’ve studied with her, I am the better law student. But after an interview, these interviewers chose a pretty girl to work with clients over the fat girl.

I know there is still time to hear back from the other positions, but I am so disheartened. If I end up without an internship, I’ve sunk $50,000 into the first year of law school and have nothing to show for it. I will be behind the curve entering second year, and my job opportunities after graduation will be slim-to-none.

When I applied to law school, I was excited there was no admittance interview because it meant the schools would judge me based on my credentials instead of how I look. It didn’t occur to me that after proving myself during law school, my job interviewers wouldn’t be able to look past my fat and my future would be just as hopeless as before I tried to further my education.