Prince Adam Saves Equestria (a.k.a. HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA)

*Author's note: listen to the song as you read the story. You'll know when to start it.

Song starts at 29 seconds

“You miserable little foals!” Nightmare Moon bellowed at the Elements of Harmony that stood before her. She rose into the air rapidly with her massive black wings. “You dare try and defeat me?”

Twilight Sparkle and her friends looked at their surroundings hesitantly. Canterlot was burning; the once regal castle on the mountain was in ruins. Smoke billowed into the sky as far as the eye could see, and screams of pain and loss echoed throughout all of Equestria.

“Um, Twilight? I don’t think we can beat her this time…” Fluttershy said quietly, doubt and fear filling her face. The others exchanged worried glances and looked to Twilight, their fearless leader.

“Girls, I know this looks bleak, but we at least have to try! It’s not only Ponyville that needs us right now. Or Equestria! The entire planet needs us to mare up and do this. I’m not going down without a fight! Now, who’s with me?” Her short rally cry failed to achieve much enthusiasm from the ponies by her side; however all of them nodded solemnly, knowing their duty, except Pinkie Pie who hopped up and down excitedly, a smile on her face.

“Oooooooh, what do you think she’s gonna do next? Chocolate rain? I hope it’s chocolate rain, it’s so much fun!” She cried out randomly. Her happiness only added to the dismal situation the Elements of Harmony found themselves in. Nopony had anticipated that Luna would revert back to her evil form, especially not so soon after being freed from her seemingly eternal torment. Her alliance with the Diamond Dogs also came as quite a shock to the ponies, who were only used to battling a single enemy at a time.

“All right girls,” Twilight sighed heavily. “Let’s try this one last time. And may Celestia help us all.” The six ponies concentrated as hard as they could on the jewelry they wore, each depicting their respective cutie marks and representing their greatest attribute. Nightmare Moon looked down at them, a sinister smile working its way across her face. The ponies rose into the air as a magic force ensnared them all. Different colors of light beamed from their jewelry, joining together to make a growing ball of white energy in front of them.

“Everypony ready?” Twilight cried out, trying to be heard over the noise of the magic.

“As I’ll ever be!” Rainbow Dash screamed, her prismatic mane tattered from the battle with Nightmare Moon.

“You betcha!” Pinkie Pie responded cheerfully. The smile on her face only grew wider.

Fluttershy squeaked a quiet reply, one which was entirely unheard by the others.

“Oh, it is on!” Rarity shouted, her usually prissy attitude replaced completely with rage.

“Yeehaw! We got this one!” Applejack cried at last.

With that acknowledgement, the ball of white light broke, unleashing a powerful stream of magic toward Nightmare Moon. She suddenly sidestepped the beam, tossing a black amulet in its path. With a loud bang, the entire beam of magic was absorbed by the amulet, leaving it sparkling in midair.

Nightmare Moon laughed maniacally. “You foals, have you no idea what you have done?” The ponies dropped back to the ground, weakened by the entire process. They looked at each other, disappointed and afraid.

“This amulet has the power to harness any amount of magical energy and use it to open a portal leading to the lost universe! You’ve just set free possibly the most dangerous creature of all time!” She laughed again and landed heavily onto the ground, cracks appearing where her hooves had hit.

The ponies recoiled at the sheer power Nightmare Moon possessed. They drew back from their nemesis, who laughed wildly at their helplessness.

“This is it guys. `Ah guess we failed.” Applejack sighed and hugged onto her friends. The amulet began shaking as a stream of black began flowing from it. The stream grew larger and larger, creating what appeared to be a hole in the blood-red sky.

“I’m sorry girls. But we did our best. Nopony can say we didn’t try.” Twilight hugged back tightly as the group latched onto each other in one final embrace before accepting their imminent demise. Fluttershy began crying, sobbing heavily as the hole increased in size.

“If only the being that emerged from the hole would turn out to be good instead of evil, have a hilariously feminine voice and sing a cheesy `90s one hit wonder! Then maybe Equestria would be saved!” No sooner had Twilight said this then the faint sound of crackling thunder escaped the portal.

“The portal has finished opening! Prepare yourselves for the end of Equestria, and the rise of the New Lunar Republic! All by the hands of Prince Adam!” Nightmare Moon laughed madly and turned to face the portal she had created, anticipation rising in her body.

Lightning streaked across the sky in random bursts as a loud booming sound escaped the hole. Suddenly the world went white, blinding everypony briefly as an inter-dimensional creature stepped through the portal and landed on the ground below it.

Vision returned to the Elements of Harmony that stood and watched a blonde haired man slowly climb to his two legs. The ponies were horrified at this new beast that stood before them, sure that he would bring destruction in his wake. The world stood silent as the ponies and Nightmare Moon waited for him to speak.

Suddenly, the sound of a cheesy electric-piano filled the air. The sky inexplicably turned black and a mysterious spotlight shone brightly down upon Prince Adam’s blonde hair.

“Twenty-five years, and my life is still...” He began to sing, dropping dramatically to his knees. “Trying to get up that great big hill of hooooope.” The man overemphasized the “p” and looked up, tears in his eyes. “For a destination.”

Nightmare Moon stared at him slack jawed, utterly confused at the display before her.

“And I realized quickly when I knew I should,” Prince Adam slowly brought a hand up before him, Shakespearian style and thrust it to his heart in a clenched fist. “That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man. For whatever that means.” Prince Adam shrugged his muscular shoulders and rose to his feet.

Suddenly the sky lit up with streaks of yellow, orange, pink and purple; the spotlight disappearing as mysteriously as it had appeared. A quick synth-drum beat began to play now, replacing the synth-piano. Prince Adam hunched down and moved his arms awkwardly to the rhythm. Bright stars appeared around Prince Adam’s face as he sang again.

“And so I cry sometimes when I’m lying in bed, just to get it all out, what’s in my head and I!” He thrust his head backward as the “I” echoed throughout Equestria. “I’m feeling,” He nodded his head to the rhythm. “A little peculiar.”

Prince Adam walked over sensuously to Nightmare Moon who had remained still the entire time, Twilight and her friends watching the scene skeptically. “And so I wake in the morning and I step outside, and I take a deep breath and get real HIIIIIGH,” He stopped before Nightmare Moon with a ridiculous grin on his face, waggling his eyebrows. “And I scream at the top of my lungs: What’s going in on!” He reached both arms above him and held them to the sky.

He quickly put his smiling face next to Nightmare Moon’s muzzle which reared back slightly in fear. “And I say: HEEEEY EY AAAEY EY AAAEY AY AY,” He uppercutted Nightmare Moon square in her jaw sending her flying backward. “HEEEEY EY AAAEY EY AY! I said Hey! What’s going on?”

He repeated the chorus again, prancing about happily. The Elements of Harmony cowered when the skipping Prince Adam came near them and smiled. Nightmare Moon had already risen back to her hooves and called upon a Diamond Dog to restrain Prince Adam, lest he strike again.

“And he tries!” The Diamond Dog gruffly sang, holding Prince Adam tightly around his waist.

“Oh my GOD! How I try.” Prince Adam broke free from his grip and stood before him stoically. “I try all the time…” His voice began cracking. “In this institution.” He lowered his head sadly, the Diamond Dog walking away, leaving everyone behind.

“And he prays!” Nightmare Moon found herself singing as she used her magic to try and kill Prince Adam.

“Oh my GOD! Do I pray. I pray every single day!”

Nightmare Moon let out a pained groan as Twilight rammed her to the ground.

“For Revolu-shu-huuuuuhn! And I say: HEEEEY EY AAAEY EY AAAEY AY AY!...” He continued singing the chorus, tilting his head back with the beat of his voice. While he stood still signing, the Elements of Harmony fought Nightmare Moon, who was attempting to strike Prince Adam down. She had a massive shiner on her right eye, surprisingly noticeable on her jet-black coat.

As Prince Adam continued singing, his voice echoed throughout the decimated Equestria. Ponies around the land began smiling as the sky cleared into a beautiful shade of blue. The fiery ruins began reverting back to normal buildings and homes. The ponies cheered and began to sing along to Prince Adam’s song, further spreading its harmonious message of… Something.

Nightmare Moon could feel her heart breaking at the beautiful melody, tears suddenly springing from her eyes, burning as they slid down her cheek and dropped to the ground. Rarity noticed this and wrapped a hoof around her, stopping the other ponies assault.

“Don’t cry out loud,” She began. Fluttershy noticed the saddened Nightmare Moon and joined in singing with Rarity. “Just keep it inside.” Her voice was surprisingly manly. She blushed deeply, realizing she had accidently let everypony she knew hear her real voice. “And learn how to hide your feelings.”

A large white light encircled Nightmare Moon, dissipating suddenly and revealing a smiling Princess Luna. Prince Adam continued singing “HEEEEY EY AAAEY EY AAAEY AY AY!” softly, waving Luna to join him. A tear of happiness fell to the ground and began singing with her Royal Canterlot voice.

The two sang together joyously, the power of their joined voices creating a stream of magic flowing through Equestria, rebuilding the entire land. The Mane-6 smiled and joined in briefly, watching as the castle the lay in ruins before them was enveloped in a whirlwind of magic, piecing itself back together and regaining its former beauty.

The drums stopped and the sky faded to black again, the spotlight appearing once more on Prince Adam. “Twenty-five years and my life is still,” His arm was wrapped tightly around Luna who smiled back at him. She nuzzled his neck gently and freed herself from his grip, joining the Twilight and her friends.

“Trying to get up that great big hill,” He began rising into the air toward the portal he had originally emerged from. “Of hope… for a destination…” Prince Adam sniffed quietly as he watched the seven ponies wave to him. He gave a final smile and disappeared into thin air, the portal closing behind him.

Equestria was saved, all because of Prince Adam. His song had reached into the very soul of darkness and brought it meaning. The evil that once reigned over Equestria was gone, leaving only times of harmony in its wake. Nightmare Moon had been vanquished and the rightful order had been restored. Princess Celestia appeared and greeted the seven ponies. They all smiled at each other, realizing the deep bonds that they shared. The purest form of friendship. Pinkie Pie wore a large grin on her face.

“LOLZ! Dafuq just happened?”