Brexiters who’ve spent 18 months saying ‘you lost, get over it’ still waiting to discover what they’ve won

With the £350m NHS promise abandoned and a points-based immigration system dismissed, Brexiteers who say ‘you lost, get over it’ are still waiting to find out precisely what they’ve won.

The mystery Brexit prize is causing much excitement among patriotic Brits who are delighted they’ve successfully taken back control, despite watching what can best be described as a ‘shambles’ unfold before their very eyes.

“I can’t wait to find out what it is that we’ve won,” enthused Simon Williams of campaign group A Nation United in Sovereignty (ANUS).

“I am hoping it’s a car or a nice holiday, something big and expensive now we’re not wasting all that money on massive pensions for those corrupt faceless Eurocrats Nigel Farage warned us about.

“Not a boat though, because I haven’t got anywhere to keep it and I can’t swim.”

Others have insisted that they don’t care what the prize is because they’re going to love it regardless because it will have the smell of victory attached to it.

Leave voter Dave Matthews told us, “We won, so I don’t even need to know what we’ve won – it’s obviously going to be brilliant.

“It’s like visiting the fair when it comes to town, that small teddy bear you won after spending a tenner trying to throw hoops over bottles makes you a ‘winner’.

“It doesn’t matter that the same toy would have been much cheaper and much less hassle if you’d just gone and bought it directly from the local market – the fact that you won makes it worth every penny you might have wasted.

“So call Brexit a shambles, call it an impending catastrofuck, I don’t care – because I won and you lost so get over it.”

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt