Antonio Cesaro, pro wrestler. A man barely relevant. He needs a gimmick. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the creativity. He's stronger, faster. But the gimmick will make him better.



By this point, most of us have heard or read Vince McMahon's theories about why Cesaro is not connecting with the crowd on a level where Vince sees money. Whether you consider yourself a fan or someone that shares Vince's opinion, the simple truth is Cesaro really doesn't have a gimmick. I am perfectly fine with a super strong guy that throws grown men around like Brawlin' Buddies and hits guys with video game style uppercuts, but what I want and what Vince wants rarely converge.

Vince wants a gimmick? If the Prime Time Players have taught me anything, a million dollar idea just ain't enough. Or was that five? I digress.

Submitted for your approval, I present you three gimmicks that could change the trajectory of Cesaro's career.

SWINGING CATS

This past Raw, one of these brief highlights was the pairing of Tyson Kidd and Cesaro. How amazing would they be as a full-time tag team? Incredibly is the answer you're looking for.

I have a very simple philosophy about professional wrestling. If you give people a reason to care, they will buy into it. Otherwise, how does any of this work? No one just shows up on day one and sells out a gate or ppv. It takes time and effort. Love him or hate him, Cena is a cash cow. Ignoring supply and demand and all those economics 101 lessons, the primary reason Cena is on top is because their is a concerted effort to make him the most important thing in the WWE Universe,

His feud with a decades retired wrestler turned executive headlined an event WWE expected people to shell out fifty bucks for the privilege of viewing.

I don't pretend to know how backstage politics work. For all I know, Cena is a modern day Terry Funk in ECW constantly telling Vince "I can make this guy. I want to put this guy over." In response to that, Vince probably laughs and says something like "Good one John, now go throw that Swiss guy through a table or something."

Tag team wrestling, like any facet of wrestling, can draw money if you allow it to do so. I've watched a few DVDs and read a few books that recall the 70s and 80s when tag team feuds were drawing million dollar gates. How that would translate into today's world is anyone's guess. But what does it hurt to try to make everything on your show important? Don't try to sell me the network. Sell me what I'm watching. ABC/HBO doesn't interrupt Revenge or Game of Thrones in the middle of a scene to tell me to download their app.

If you don't have faith in Cesaro as a main event single's guy, pair him with someone. I don't have numbers handy, but I'm fairly sure the Kings of Wrestling were a draw judging by how many promotions kept booking them.

Put Kidd and Cesaro in some spiffy pinstripe suits and fedoras, let them talk about cats and swinging guys into barricades, (seriously, he needs to do that again) give them a theme like this, and see what happens.

Mr. Cesaro

No Mr. Cena, I expect you to dine.

I've seen many people mention that Cesaro has a classic movie villain look. Work with that. Make him affably evil. He's Swiss Death your tag team partner/buddy of the week then invite you to partake in craft services while threatening you without threatening you. Have him employ the lowly jobbers of Main Event then step in after the face has been softened up only to tell him something condescending like he isn't worth finishing off. He's super strong but also cerebral. The foundation is there for a heel people will beg to be put in his place and not just "boo him because he's not the guy WWE wants me to cheer."

A. Cesaro

Ever since I saw him do this, I've wanted him to strap on some chrome kick pads and a red jumpsuit and just be live action Bison. He does a pretty impressive double stomp too. He's a big guy and can easily pull off being booked as this nigh-unstoppable force that just manhandles his opponents until Cena realizes his true calling and just tosses him aside to fight the winner of Money in the Bank or something. Admit it, you'd love to see him come out, toss away a cape and just start wailing on someone.

And there you have it. Admittedly, I don't run a billion multi-million dollar entertainment juggernaut nor have I created box office record breaking star attractions. But who knew the guy calling himself the Ringmaster, or a guy dressed like a Carnivale dancer, or even the guy who showed up as Vanilla Ice for Halloween would be the draws they became?

You gotta try something that will at least get the crowd to remember you.