Dave & Buster’s (1200 Poydras St), the 40,000 square foot windowless national destination for drinkers, junk food diners, TV-watchers and the video game-obsessed, opens today in New Orleans. It’s the first location in the city — find it at the top of a six-story parking garage at the corner of Poydras and Loyola.

Despite national marketing manager Alex Purdy’s claim that “We like all of our locations to feel local,” the menu comes straight from the dreams of a twelve-year-old boy living anywhere but New Orleans. It asks: “What’s better than an adult snow cone? One that lights up! Pick from three mouthwatering flavors.” Never mind that adults in New Orleans already have the option of downing a local, better version of the snow cone.

Other menu items include bar snacks, super-sweet technicolor cocktails, and Buffalo wing-themed burgers (coming in at 2282 calories). Beyond the junk food, guests can waste a bunch of time getting sucked into flickering images on 30 HD televisions or over 150 arcade games.

The venue is open 11 a.m. to midnight Sunday though Thursday, and 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. on Friday and Saturday. All minors need to be accompanied with an adult of 25 years of age or older to admitted into the restaurant and arcade.

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Beginning at 11 am, guests can start plunking their money down for all this crap.