Every week, it seems like you hear about another woman being shamed for breastfeeding in public. Well, for anyone who feels compelled to criticize or shun a mom who's just taking care of her kid, here are 10 things breastfeeding moms want you to know.

1. Breastfeeding is fucking hard. Sure, there were magical moments breastfeeding each of my children when I felt ~in harmony~. But for many women (including me), breastfeeding is about as easy as putting lip liner on a thrashing, slippery 10-pound trout. You have to worry about different positions, latching, having a good supply, cracked nipples, mastitis (that's a painful infection that affects breast tissue), nursing strikes (when your baby outright refuses to be fed), and then worrying about worrying too much, because relaxing is the best thing for you and baby, after all! So, while breastfeeding can be wonderful, it can also be challenging. We don't need anyone making it even harder.

2. Babies have to eat all the time. You know that thing where you have to eat food in order to continue living? Same with babies! And we moms are responsible for that, which is a tall order. Imagine going about your day and then having to stop whatever it is you're doing to do jumping jacks for 10 to 60 minutes — every two hours. And then, imagine that if you don't do those jumping jacks, the thing most precious to you in the world will die or at the very least will scream in agony like a howler monkey until you resume said jumping jacks. That is the basic schedule of a new mom. Oh, plus she has to clothe, change, nurture, and comfort her baby. On top of that, she has to clothe, nurture, feed, and comfort herself, so she's strong enough to do those things for her child. So, you tell me, how the fuck is she supposed to do all of that without ever feeding her baby outside her house?

3. Breasts were made for this — not the thing that you've decided they are for. Listen, I know society likes to think that women's bodies are not our own. Women feel that every time we're catcalled or groped or maybe raped, and then our rapist barely gets a slap on the wrist. If you've bought into that and think that a breast is mainly for sexual arousal, I must tell you that you have been misled. I checked with both biology and logic, and it turns out that the reason women have breasts is actually not so that other people can motorboat them — it's so we can feed our babies!

4. Many babies refuse to eat under a cover. And they shouldn't have to eat in a bathroom stall just because you, Shamer McShamerston, are an idiot. I mean, would you like to eat with a hot blanket covering your face? Would you like to eat in the same space someone else just took a shit? I'm guessing not.

5. Not every mother can pump and not every baby takes a bottle. Not that this matters, because every mother should be able to feed her baby whenever and however she wants, but some people still say, "Well, I would just pump a bottle for my baby, that way I wouldn't offend anyone." Good for you! However, many women don't make enough milk to pump extra. My milk had too much of an enzyme called lipase, so it wouldn't stay palatable for my baby for long once pumped. Also, many babies won't take a bottle. But why should a mom worry about pumping, storing, and transporting milk when she can just feed her child with the perfectly designed vessel that is her body?

6. Nursing in public is not some politically charged, sly mission to get your attention or piss you off. Contrary to your brilliant conspiracy theory, we're not trying to intimidate or arouse or do anything other than feed a tiny fragile baby. Actually, while we're breastfeeding, we don't want your attention in any way, shape, or form!

7. If you still feel uncomfortable, just look away. I have such exciting news for you! While you don't have control of all women's bodies, you actually do have control of your eyes and what they see! There are a lot of things that make me uncomfortable to see, like stains on white fabric, spiders, and people chewing with their mouths open. But instead of screaming at the spiders for just being all spidery, I simply engage my neck muscles to turn my head, like, five degrees. But if that is too much work, you can just have those trusty ocular muscles shift your eyeballs slightly to the right or left of the super-offensive breast (which is presumably already covered by the baby's head). See, easy!

8. You could always turn your rage toward the real problem. Instead of setting out to solve the world's "exposed breast offenses" one hungry baby at a time, maybe turn your attention toward the millions of advertisements for lingerie, burgers, and spark plugs that inundate us with images depicting women as nothing more than sexual amusement parks. Perhaps ask them to tone it down a notch. What's that? Oh, right, there are no horrifying nipples in those ads! It's just all of the other stuff? OK, I see. Well, great news there: When a baby nurses, his or her mouth and head cover the nipple, so we're square!

9. New moms don't need to feel responsible for your misguided discomfort. They've got enough on their plates, trust me. While you are staring at them, screaming at them, degrading them, or shaming them, know that you are threatening someone who is about as vulnerable as it gets. She is simply trying to protect and nourish her defenseless, beloved infant. To threaten someone in this position for any reason, let alone an asinine, irrational, and, frankly kinda pervy reason, officially makes you a supreme POS.

10. Your mom and her mom and her mom probably did it too. Formula has only been around for 130 years give or take, so breasts have kept the human race going. Therefore, you are alive because breasts have been doing their job! So, instead of calling the next woman you see feeding her child something like "fucking disgusting," you should probably call your mother and thank her for enabling you to thrive. All this in spite of assholes like yourself. Aren't mothers amazing?

Follow Elizabeth on her podcast Totally Laime and Twitter.

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