On Tuesday, a video featuring John Schnatter (the previous Papa of Papa John's) went viral. The Louisville Fox affiliate interviewed the former pizza giant about the fallout since he was removed from the company after using a racial slur on a company phone call, and Schnatter said of the new Papa John's CEO, "He has no pizza experience. He has never been in the pizza category. He doesn't really know quality. Probably most important, he doesn't have a passion for people." In the cut, viral clip, the ex-Papa also admitted to eating 40 pizzas in the last 30 days to help him make his judgment, and warned that a "day of reckoning" is coming.

First off, damn John. Second off, I'm afraid that this day of reckoning is going to be your own heart attack if you keep consuming pizza at that rate. Third off, from one pizza boy to another, it appears that all of that pizza consumption is literally coming out of your pores, my guy. I'm worried. Dare I say, John Schnatter has the meat sweats.

To confirm my suspicion, I did what any good man would do when he wants to know if a fabled ailment is actually real: I went to the internet. As it turns out, meat sweats aren't technically real. There are a few ways that you can literally sweat from meat, including a food allergy most often developed after exposure to a tick. There's also a theory that if you eat enough, digestion can create so much energy that it causes heat, and thus a rise in body temperature (there has never been an actual case of meat sweats that came from someone "eating too much energy").

And when it comes to preventing meat sweats, Healthline advises, "The easiest way to prevent meat sweats is to eat less meat." Wow, drag me.

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More likely, the disgraced Papa's sweats came from a combination of hot lights and the fact that it wasn't sweat at all. Some research suggests that exposure to grease in the air can clog pores. Don't tell me there's no grease in the air if you're housing 40 pizzas in the course of a month. Scene: Papa sitting in the darkness, surrounded by boxes with that new Papa John's slogan "A Better Day," and he says it: Alexa. She lights up blue. Again. Order it again.

In the end, the chance that John Schnatter has the meat sweats is probably as likely as you having them, which is to say, not likely. As for the tricky situation of ordering 40 pizzas in one month? Cut your ties, friend. And maybe grab a green vegetable that's not baked into a cheesy disc of goodness.

Justin Kirkland Justin Kirkland is a writer for Esquire, where he focuses on entertainment, television, and pop culture.

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