Did you know that each of us has a certain style of attachment for other people? Of course, each of us can establish different types of attachment for different people, but one attachment type prevails in each of us Even more interesting is that this type depends on what type of attachment we have established with our parents or caregivers in the earliest period of our lives. Mary Ainsworth’s (1978) and many other studies like Bowlby Attachment Theory researched that and have discovered 4 types of attachment.

Strange Situation Test by Mary Ainsworth

At first, in order to understand the types of attachment, you need to be familiar with the Test of a stranger by Mary Ainsworth. This test is significant because it examines the quality and types of attachment.

This test includes 8 different episodes and each episode lasts for 3 minutes. These episodes are presented in the table below.

During the test, observers conduct a protocol for child’s behaviour assessing the quality of the mother-child interaction, the child’s behaviour during separating from the mother and child’s behaviour in presence of a stranger. Then, according to the obtained data, what type of attachment the child has achieved with his mother can be determined.

1. Secure Attachment

On testing, separated from their parents in the presence of a stranger, kids with secure attachment show slight anxiety because of the separation of parents, but don’t show fear of the stranger. When parents return, kids run to them in an embrace expressing joy. Then they continue to play and research.

Secure attachment is the most desirable for children’s healthy development in relation to the other 3 types of attachment. Kids with secure attachment experience parents as accessible and responsive personalities which are always there to help them. Because parents respond to children’s needs adequately, timely and consistently, kids experience themselves as being worthy of love and care. Therefore, kids which are attached to their parents securely have no fear of abandonment and feel the confidence in parents. According to the research, secure attachment is the most common in relation to other types of attachment.

Of course, kids with secure attachment show separation fear sometimes but their fear is a normal feature of their development. For example, kids often show separation fear at the 15th month of age although they establish the secure attachment with parents. That fear is only a normal consequence of their development. It will tail away when kids reach a certain development level.

2. Ambivalent attachment

On testing, kids of ambivalent attachment react very violently while separating them from their parents. They cry and scream trying in every way to prevent separation from parents. But when they are alone with a stranger, they don’t show the fear. When parents return, kids stop playing, seeking to be in the parent’s arms, but furiously pulling them away from themselves at the same time. They search for contacts with parents persistently but resist contacts as well by refusing joint activities. Parents who try to calm kids often don’t succeed in that.

The relationship between parents and kids of this type of attachment can seem very close. However, parents, although dedicated to caring for their kids, are usually inaccessible emotionally in this relationship. They react only to certain signals of kids. Therefore, kids are unsure always whether a parent will respond or not to their help signals. However, when they discover on which signals parents react, they become what their parents need in order to keep parents close: painful, trapped, and so on. Then, their behaviour becomes demanding, controlling, even blackmailing.

This style of attachment creates in a kid a positive image of others, and negative about him/herself.