And you thought YOU were having a heatwave.

“You need to be with your people”.

Words spoken from my Sister. Spoken in jest perhaps but nevertheless retain meaning. I’ve been feeling down today, an invisible beast that has laid dormant after a decade long war occasionally strikes from the depths. Something I’ll carry with me to the end. We all carry burdens. We must take responsibility for them or be overcome.

Battles leave scars. Some you can’t see.

When I braved my first tournament I had a miniature anxiety attack and my legs gave out. Halfway through my first game. Miles away from home on unfamiliar turf surrounded by strangers. Fenn Rau has that affect on people. When I braved my first System Open I booked a room in the hotel where I could retreat and refresh when I’d have a sensory overload. The only reason I ‘braved’ anything was because I used the game as my anchor. A sort of carrot on a stick to goad me out of my cave. Everyone at these events had common ground for discussion. It made it easier to socialise and over time the title of stranger peeled away to reveal something else entirely.

Deathrain’s UK Tour has seen my anxiety levels plummet. That was its hidden purpose. To travel far from home and make friends with total strangers. To explore the world I’ve hidden from for so long. To be at peace with ones self. To be more human. The reason I’m bringing this up is because I’m not the only one who fights the beast. X-Wing tournaments are fantastic places to face your fears. I hope you’ll consider it.

The sun is beginning to set on X-Wing 1.0. Ships that haven’t seen the light of day are getting table time. The T-65 in particular makes a glorious return to the fight. Been having a lot of fun with the 20pt Rookie Pilots, lot of bang for your buck and they slot in to almost any style of list. Tried out RAClo for a game, then put it away again. I can see why Phil doesn’t like flying against it. Which brings me on to the next topic.

Incoming opinion on the internet D:

Should you fly meta? Should you f*** the meta? What does meta even mean? These questions have been circling Facebook. There have been many valid answers. There are a great many reasons why we play at tournaments and going forward I would like it if we were all a bit more accepting of those reasons. Please don’t refer to someone playing Ghost/Fenn as ‘oh your one of them’ when they’re standing right there. Please don’t refer to a ship as ‘unplayable’ when you’ve never put the table time in. It may seem harmless now but in a few years time cracks will emerge in our community.

But this is my blog, so you maybe wondering what’s my take on it?

My first tournament I came last. I went back to the drawing board and made a list consisting of Shara Bey, Esege Tuketu and “Dutch” Vander. I played over 30 practice games. I learned how to fly in formation, where to place asteroids, and my opening movements. My second tournament I came fifth. Since then I’ve taken forth, third and second place at tournaments around the UK. With the Punisher, that ‘unplayable’ ship.

The tournament I came forth at was the closest I’d come to winning an event. I was using QuickDraw, Deathrain and a bare bones Upsilon shuttle. Was 4–0 up and lost the final game by 2 points. Did I lose because my opponent was flying meta? Of course not. I lost because I didn’t read his list, because I didn’t prioritise targets right, and because I lacked practice with the shuttle.

I’m the one in the middle. The Bendu

I’m a competitive jank player I suppose. Mixing good ships with the bad to make things interesting. I don’t hate on net lists I welcome them. A force to be reckoned with, and with a seasoned pilot at the controls even more so. I’ve lost to the meta by the closest margin and beaten the meta by the skin of my teeth.

I hope that answer will suffice.

I think it’s about time I played some more tournaments don’t you? I’ll see you next time.