In the 1980′s if you were a kid an watched Saturday morning cartoons then you might remember seeing lots of PSA’s aimed at kids. They often featured cartoon characters telling you about the benefits of eating cheese or planning ahead for your future. They also usually featured funky bass lines and poor rhyming structures. I’m not sure that any of these actually helped me out now that I am an adult but here are some of the best (worst) PSA’s from that era.

In this clip He-man and She-ra warn kids about sexual molestation. Am I the only one who finds it creepy that a man in a loin cloth with a page boy hair cut is talking about molesting kids? And who decided to involve Orco? I mean does he even have a body to molest?

Here’s a really lame PSA that tells kids how to make a Saturday. A Saturday being a lame, health version of a Sunday. It also is quite phallic looking with that banana and whipped cream. I bet He-Man would love to eat it.

This one features a character called “The Chopper” who tells you to exercise you teeth by eating hard foods. First off how do you exercise your teeth, their freaking bones you idiot. All your going to do is chip a tooth eating all those, nuts, carrots, gravel, etc. And what kid eats Pumpernickel by the way?

I’m sure a lot of you remember O.G. Readmore a talking cat captain who tells kids about how much fun it is to read. First of what is he a Captain in? The Army, Navy, Coast Guard? Last time I checked there weren’t any captains at the library. And readin with your grandma isn’t fun, trust me I know…

Zack of all Trades was a magical career guidance counselor who came out of your jukebox to give bad career advice. Yeah become a seamstress little girl leave all those doctor, lawyer and business jobs to the men. And for someone who gives advice what’s his job anyways? He apparaently has nothing but free time on his hands to annoy people all day with his lame advice.

This next one single handedly is responsible for millions of lactose intollerant children spending their formative years on the toilet.

COPS was a show were ridiculously over muscled cops fought ridiculously over muscled villians in the future with laser beams and other future crap. Of course since it was a show about cops it had to have PSA’s about satying out of trouble and preventing crime. In this one a villian tries to scare kids straight, but the message is kind of lost because every episode he breaks out of jail and goes on a crime spree with no consequences.

And finally the Transformers. Here are several of their PSA’s. Thanks robot from another planet you really helped me to see that I need better communication skills with my parents. Also you might notice that they stole their tagline “…and knowing is half the battle” from G.I. Joe. Apparently the concept of plagairism wasn’t part of their programming.

Well thats it for now I hope you learned a lot. Im going to go eat a cheese Saturday while I read about how to become a seamstress and try and stay out of jail so I don’t get molested. If you want to see even more PSA’s go to www.retrojunk.com.

Last 3 posts by D WallZ

Written by D WallZ