Well, I’ve been sitting on this for too long, so here you go! I had the majority of this translated sometime around Christmas, but I wanted to proofread it more and fix it up a little more naturally… But I just haven’t had the time to do that yet. So, rather than not posting it for who knows how long again, here’s my rough draft translation of the .hack//G.U. Last Recode Drama CD “Innocent Call” that came with the Japanese Collector’s Edition of the game.

But, as I said above, this is a rough draft, so there may be further edits and stuff done to it from time to time, so I’d really appreciate it if you do NOT copy and paste this elsewhere. Thank you!! <3

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■ .hack//G.U. Last Recode Drama CD “Innocent Call”

SCENE 1

Keyaki: Haseo-san, I shall seal Skeith. Your Avatar should not be allowed to exist in this world. After absorbing all the other Epitaphs, Skeith has become far too powerful. It could very well bring forth the Anti-Existence…

Keyaki: I’ve been waiting for you, Haseo-san. Have you come to a decision?

Haseo: Yes. I was confused when you told me last night, but… My character, Haseo… has obtained a power so great that it can warp the very fabric of The World… In time, I’ve come to realize that. But… *guh*

Keyaki: It’s all right, Haseo-san.

Haseo: Eh?

Keyaki: The power bestowed upon you in this world is not simply the power of the Epitaph. In fact, it ought to be a sort of “key” to help you achieve your final purpose. Or at least… that’s what I believe.

Haseo: My final… purpose?

Keyaki: In any case, would you lie flat upon the table. And just like the time with your Xth form… please try to relax.

Haseo: My final… purpose. That’s right, there’s still something I must do. Purpose… That hasn’t ever changed, even from the very beginning. In order to achieve that goal, I continued to search out more power. To never lose to anyone. To become stronger than anyone else… And yet… I couldn’t have ever fathomed it. By achieving that very power, I’d have to give it up…

Keyaki: Haseo-san, the procedure is complete. You are no longer an Epitaph User. Your character, Haseo, has been returned to a regular player character.

SCENE 2

Waitress: Sorry for the wait. Here’s your two coffees.

Reiko Saeki (Pi): This is a rare occasion, contacting me in the real world like this.

Ryo Misaki (Haseo): I’m sorry to ask you to meet me.

Reiko: So, what did you want to talk about?

Ryo: About that… I, uh…

Reiko: *sigh* Haseo no longer has the power of the Epitaph, isn’t that right?

Ryo: How did you…?

Reiko: From Keyaki. He received a message from the Serpent of Lore regarding the necessity of sealing Haseo’s Epitaph. It was before I quit CC Corp, but… Ovan possessed a massive amount of energy within his left arm, and with just his own PC data, he laid waste upon an entire area. Even still, Haseo’s Xth form possessed far greater data– an enormous amount that should not have been possible with a single PC. I think Keyaki’s judgement was correct. There was a high probability that if you continued to use Haseo like that, the results would hardly be favorable, for both the world… or yourself.

Ryo: Saeki-san. I heard from Kuhn… er, Kasumi-san, that you started to work for NAB, the Network Analysis Bureau. NAB is an organization that oversees large-scale networks like The World, right?

Reiko: Hm?

Ryo: I want to work for them.

Reiko: What are you saying?

Ryo: No… Please, let me work for you. Please!

Reiko: Masaki-kun…

SCENE 3

Chigusa: This is Kusaka. ……Misaki-san, what happened?

Ryo: Chigusa, can you talk for a minute? Um…… About next Sunday… An urgent matter came up…

Chigusa: Oh…… I see… Is it about that job you were talking about? At the same place as Saeki-san…… Then, there’s no way around it.

Ryo: I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you.

Chigusa: No, you don’t need to worry about that. What’s the job like?

Ryo: Hmm… I’m not really allowed to talk about the details, but… I pretty much sit in front of a computer all day analyzing data… or going to seminars on neurophysiology… or conducting on-site investigations… and such.

Chigusa: Wow, that sounds like a lot of work.

Ryo: It’s not necessarily difficult… Well, I suppose difficult stuff is difficult, but… When I work there, I feel like I’ve discovered exactly how much of a no-nothing child I was before. And how inadaquate I am… I think I’ve gotten used to this work, but… But that’s it. I’ve only come to understand the current predicament we’re in… But, I feel like I need to do something more… Ah, sorry. I’ve gotta get back to work… I’ll talk with you later. Bye.

Chigusa: Ah… Misaki-san…

SCENE 4

Newscaster: CyberConnect2, the company behind the popular MMORPG “The World R:2”, has announced that it will end their services for the game in half-year’s time.

Ryo: Shit! What the hell!? How can then just end “The World R:2” like that!? Ovan’s spirit is still out there somewhere…! If “The World” ends, then… What will happen to Ovan??

Reiko: Misaki-kun, calm down. The CC Corp. has only released the end date for the game, December 31, 2018. Imagine it’s a dely of 6 months from now.

Ryo: But…!

Reiko: You’re doing everything to the best of your ability. Besides, the data of the groundwork analysis you’ve done has been pivital to progress my own special analysis. You’re playing all your possible cards as you can right now…

…so, please try to relax.

Ryo: Alright…

Reiko: Let’s talk so more about further analysis tomorrow.

In the meantime, go home and get some rest.

Ryo: I understand…

Reiko: And… that desk was expensive, so it’d be nice if you treated it as such.

Ryo: I, um… I’m sorry… Excuse me.

Reiko: ………… …I know what I said, but… Trying to find a single PC in “The World” is like looking for a needle in a haystack. As things are now… There’s not enough time… We need a much firmer grasp on something… Or some sort of assistance…

SCENE 5

Yoshida-san (26): With such a small gathering like this, you can really feel the walls closing in. Maybe it would have been better to choose a more spacious @HOME…

Nanai: No. If you take into account the number of participants, I would think this accommodation is perfect.

Yoshida-san (26): How’s the role call now?

Nanai: Us included, 9 out of 13 are accounted for. 4 others are currently absent.

Yoshida-san (26): 4, huh? And who might they be…?

Nanai: “Ineed” and “LottoQ” are among the absent.

Yoshida-san (26): For goodness sake. They are troublesome, aren’t they? Their way of thinking is rather extreme. …Who are the last two?

Nanai: AIKA is one.

Yoshida-san (26): Oh, her. That odd girl who fused with another game PC outside of “The World”…

Nanai: The other is…

Yoshida-san (26): Hm? Somebody has arrived.

Kusabira: *sigh*

Yoshida-san (26): You’re…

Kusabira: I’m Kusabira.

Nanai: Welcome, we’ve been waiting for you. We are running behind schedule, so please take your seat.

Kusabira: Alright.

Yoshida-san (26): Ahem. Uh, may I have your attention. Thank you very much for taking the time out of your busy schedules to be here today. Three individuals have yet to arrive, but given the time, we’d like to begin the AIDA joint session. I am today’s acting chairman, Yoshida-san (26). It’s nice seeing you all today. Thanks to the generosity of this @HOME’s members, we were able to borrow this space. So, please be mindful not to break or damage the tables and chairs. Next, I’d like to turn the discussion over to Nanai with the agenda for this meeting.

Nanai: There are two points I’d like to address. The first is regarding the countermeasures for problems stemming from the inevitable end of “The World R:2”. The second is regarding the confirmation of intent or common purpose among all AIDA.

Yoshida-san (26): At one time, when we were nothing but a clump of bubbles, communicating between each other harbored no hardship of any kind. But that was a long time ago. Now, in order for us to stick together, we must communicate as humans do. That is the purpose of this meeting. The first thing on the agenda is, uhh… regarding various issues with the end of service for “The World R:2”. Everyone, I am sure you are well aware that the human system administrators have announced the end of “The World”.

AIDA A: Heh… this is so boring…

AIDA B: That has nothing to do with us.

AIDA C: Like, seriously, it’s like do whatever you want. Like, really.

AIDA D: Who cares about that? hahaha

AIDA E: ActUalLy…tHEy…cANnoT…ConTRoL…tHe SYSteM… ThE WaY…ThEy dO tHinGS iS…aLwAYs fUlL oF HoLEs.

AIDA D: Yeah, exactly! Those guys, they can’t even control that, huh? Things as they are now will be important. hahaha

AIDA B: What do you mean by “that”?

AIDA D: haha C’mon, that! “The Tainted Sea”.

Yoshida-san (26): It’s just as you say. To us Data lifeforms, the end of service will be no different than taking a brief nap. Additionally, we know that humans cannot completely stop this world. This is absolutely not a problem. Simply, I believe there may be an association here since many ominous incidents are happening…

AIDA A: Ominous incidents?

Yoshida-san (26): After the recent announcement, a human unrelated to the system administrators has found the sign they were searching for within “The World”. From that mark we’ve detected a horrible scent that we recognize all too well. It was… The scent of Haseo, the “Terror of Death”.

AIDA A: Haseo!

AIDA B: It’s Haseo!

AIDA C: Haseo!?

AIDA D: You said, Haseo!

AIDA E: hASeOo! tHe “tERroR Of DEatH!… ThaT…wIckEd…GHouL…whO’S ConTinUed tO DevOUr…OUr…daTA…

AIDA B: How dare he get in the way of our progress, just as we’re weak and still in our infancy!

AIDA A: With such sinister power, he’s insulted and crushed us—he’d even go as far as slaughtering us all.

Nanai: Everyone, please control your foam. Do not soil the tables. Also, I’m terribly sorry, but if you’d like to speak, please state your name first. It is difficult to know who is speaking.

Yoshida-san (26): Uh, leaving that as it is for now, shall we move on to our second point of interest? Regarding the confirmation of intent and the intentions within AIDA as a while, in other words, what sort of attitude should we have as we face this world and humans?

AIDA A: More importantly than that, shouldn’t we decide how to handle Haseo?

AIDA B: Who knows what he’s thinking, but we should strike first!

AIDA C: You’re right! Like seriously, who cares about any of those humans!

AIDA D: hahahaha Let’s kill them all!!

AIDA E: aGrEEd.

AIDA A: Let’s tear his heart to shreds!

AIDA B: Batter him into a living corpse!

AIDA D: Let’s make sure he’ll never see the sun again!

AIDA E: ThORouGhLY uNtIL hE’s NoTHinG MorE tHan a STiCKy bAG oF bloOd.

Nanai: Everyone, please state your name before you speak.

Kusabira: I’m Kusabira.

Yoshida-san (26): Go on, Kusabira-san.

Kusabira: At this point in time, Has has no interest in us. Because he is thoroughly dedicated to awakening “the man in ice,” Ovan.

AIDA B: Huh? What’s that? A man in ice…?

AIDA C: C’mon, don’t name drop somebody new without an explanation. Like seriously, I can’t follow your story.

AIDA D: Ah, you mean that one guy, “the man in ice.” hahaha

AIDA E: I SEe. UnDeRStoOd. The “Rebirth”…

Kusabira: Also, regarding this matter… I believe that we must live mutually with humanity. We should learn from them on the human side. We were born within the network that humanity created. But how? In this “world” AIDA and humanity are two halves of the same coin. Not only is that the form we ought to have, but that is the path we must follow.

AIDA A: AIDA and humanity… two in one…? What nonsense is this!? Humanity is incomplete trash data. We can’t even come to a single agreement amongst ourselves. There’s nothing to learn from them.

Kusabira: I don’t believe that’s true. The last time Cubia appeared, humanity was able to overcome that danger. That memory of his form at the time should be in all of your minds.

AIDA A: Such ambiguity! Stop generalizing and state a specific example.

Yoshida-san (26): *ahem* Uh, quiet please. Kusabira-san, you’ve lived in tandem with that one human for a very long time. Your judgement is considered to be poisoned and biased by humans. With that being so, I cannot but respect your opinion because of how special that is. Because you are “the most human-like AIDA”. Perhaps Haseo will make a perfect sample…… I make this proposal as your chairman, but how about we decide our policy as follows? Should Haseo fail to awaken Ovan from the ice before this “world” comes to an end… Then there is nothing to be learned from humanity. We shall judge them as not worth consideration. However, if, just maybe Haseo is able to awaken Ovan… Then we shall accept the existence of humanity and live in mutual harmony, together. What do you say to this?

AIDA A: What a ridiculous proposal… Have us AIDA degraded? Must we bother discussing such things? The most obvious conclusion is……

AIDA B: It’s a bit of a gamble, huh?

AIDA C: But, we haven’t come to a decision, have we? Like, seriously.

AIDA D: hahahaha As long as he doesn’t come after us, then fine.

AIDA E: CaN wE TRuLy tRuSt THeM?

AIDA B: It could be done. If he can save the “man in ice”…

Nanai: Then, let us make a decision regarding the chairman’s proposal. All in favor, raise your hand.

Yoshida-san (26): Hm. Then it’s decided.

Kusabira: He’s slept all this time. In this “Lost Ground” far away and unknown to anyone. “He” who dreams within the ice… “He” who rejects the world outside the ice… I have no means by which to awaken him, but perhaps Haseo can awaken “him”. I know it, I’ve always kept observing Haseo with “him”. I know how dedicated Haseo is. Let’s bet everything on Haseo. Under the name of AIDA, “his” life or death… our future…

There. I’ve made this whole area “stick out” so humans can find it…… But this…… is all I can do…… Now we just wait… for Haseo to log back in and find “him”…

SCENE 6

Ryo: Saeki-san! Excuse me!

Reiko: Misaki-kun. What is it?

Ryo: Is it true?! You’ve found Ovan?

Reiko: It is. But put that aside for a moment… Please open and close the door quietly, alright?

Ryo: Uhh, I’m sorry……

Reiko: Here, take a look at the monitor.

Ryo: That’s…! Ovan!!

Reiko: We discovered it last night when we detected a sudden data reaction from this entire area. CC Corp knows nothing about this place. It’s still an unknown Lost Ground.

Ryo: Saeki-san, I… have to go.

Reiko: Masaki-kun?

Ryo: As “Haseo”. I will go meet him!

Reiko: Wait. You can’t go right away. We have to search if the area is safe or not.

Ryo: There’s no time to waste! Today is December 27th. There are just four more days before the end of “The World”. Actually, I was beginning to think nothing would work. But, we’ve found him in time! I’ve been waiting all this time. For this moment! For the chance to wake him up! Wait for me, Ovan! I’m… I’m coming to see you! Then I’m freaking slapping you awake!

Kusabira: Ah! At last… He’s come! It hasn’t been long since AIDA became self-aware… It’s still difficult to look upon humans… But, just now, I can feel that he’s logged back into “The World”. It’s Haseo. Haseo has returned to “The World” to save “him”.

Haseo: “The World”… It’s been a long time.

Pi: Haseo, so you’ve logged in. I will continue to monitor things from this end.

Haseo: Got it.

Haseo: I’ve finally found you. How’d you get all the way here…? The one who pulled me into “The World”… In order to save his little sister Aina who had been infected by “AIDA” data lifeforms, he guided me… With his own Avatar “Corbenik,” he used the forbidden “Rebirth” to reset this “world”…… OVAN!!

Pi: You’re report, Yata-sama. The situation has progressed almost entirely as expected. Monitoring the MOD program’s functions are in order. Neither Haseo nor Ovan are aware of it.

Yata: At the present, it’s merely inference, but… “The owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk.” I suppose this is no longer an observatory, is it?

Pi: The units have already been deployed.

Yata: In that case, shall we go? We, too, must greet the twilight.