CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Recent revelations have today explained why Dad is barely able to contain his excitement about this upcoming Sunday.

Have cleared 48 hours on either side of this weekend, Dad is absolutely stoked to finally lock in a time to clean out the garage.

As is commonly acknowledged in suburban Australian culture, the opportunity to clean out one’s garage is arguably a better way to spend your afternoon than watching an early 1990s Mel Gibson movie. And when it comes to dad, that is saying something.

After holding on for at least two decades since his last complete overhaul, which somehow ended up in him painting the concrete floor the same colour as the polished concrete already was – Dad is expecting a whole lot of surprises this time around.

“There’s gotta be like eight different push bikes in there” says dad with an excited grin, as though disposing 1990s-era mountain bikes is an enjoyable task.

“All the old TVs… Heaps of board games and stuff…”

The old man opens a stubby while internally rattling off the other hoarded household items that he might stumble across this weekend, before making an offer that he’s certain no one can turn down.

“You want in on this?” he asks.

If that wasn’t exciting enough, he goes on to put some icing on the cake.

“I’ve got me hands on a gurney too”