There are a lot of women who are transgender who believe men who are interested in them are nothing but guys wanting to fulfill a fantasy or use them as a fuck toy. We here at The Transamorous Network have always said that is the case. But only for those women who tell such stories.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to these women, there are literally tens of thousands of men who are interested in transgender women for who they are. These trans-attracted men, like any other group of human beings, are not homogenous. So you’re going to find all kinds of people who are trans-attracted. But for the women seeking a cis-trans relationship with a man, this group would be the best group from which to find a guy. Why? Because they will accept you as you are: A woman yes. But also transgender.

“But I don’t want someone who accepts me because I’m transgender, I want someone who accepts me because I’m a woman.”

You’ll find those kinds of guys in this group too. The story expressed above though is a negative one, one that indicates a reluctance of the speaker to accept who and what she is. So long as that story remains active, it’s very hard to meet the guy who will accept her as a (transgender) woman.

Now, if all these men I’m talking about are prime candidates for transgender women, why do so many (seemingly) treat transgender women like shit? Well, I’ll answer that question first with a question: Why are there so many guys who are interested in cis-womenthat treat cis-women like shit?

That’s a really deep question. Because there really is no difference.

Which brings me to a model we have here at The Transamorous Network which explains the process by which trans-attracted men become trans-attracted. Not every one follows this general model. But for many, this process is very clear. It accurately describes the process men go through in their trans-attraction journey.

Men who find themselves in this model, just like transgender people, come into the world with this attraction already “baked” into them, in the same way straight people come into the world with their “straightness” baked in. So there is a self-discovery process. That process for many men IMO is represented by what I see as several distinct steps: discovery, trans attraction, exploration (some call this stage “chasing”), refinement, acceptance, then transamory.

“Trans supportive”, in the model I’m proposing, is a transcendence of the process, because it can be an attitude (and accompanying behaviors) parents may have for a transgender child for example. Trans supportive therefore, is not so much about romance and physical or sexual attraction as it is a desire to serve others.

So I see trans attraction as an early stage in a man’s transitional process; transamory as the mature stage and trans supportive as a highly advanced stage of relationship to the transgender community. It is a highly-evolved form of trans supportiveness. So here are the stages explained: (HT to Troy Kennedy and the Transsupportive Brotherhood)