Please stop calling me ‘daddy’, Putin begs Donald Trump

Vladimir Putin really doesn’t like Donald Trump referring to him as “daddy”.

The two leaders met for the first time in Helsinki today and it was widely thought that the talks would be filled with tension.

“Although we didn’t expect sexual tension,” confirmed reporter, Simon Williams.

“Alright, we did a bit, but not this flagrant. Trump sat down next to Putin, winked at him and said ‘Hello, daddy’. Even by Trump’s standard,s it wasn’t subtle.

“It all seems a bit one-way though, to be honest. Putin is just laughing awkwardly while begging nearby journalists to ask a question about literally anything but the fact that he was just called ‘daddy’ by the President of the United States.”

Russian government spokesperson, Simonsky Williamsich, said, “Mr Putin is seen as a father figure by millions around the world.

“No wonder the President’s first instinct was to refer to him as such.

“Quite why he bent over at the same time is, of course, anybody’s guess, but that’s Trump I suppose.”