Many of you will travel to the US this summer, where a pound will now buy you a luxury condo in Beverly Hills. Here's a lexicon, so no one will suspect you're British and marry you just because he/she finds the British adorable.

relatable adj, esp. in Hollywood Capable of being related to. "With Vince Vaughn as the serial killer, the character will be more relatable." (Poss. tourist usage: "I'll have the salad - it looks totally relatable.")

torture n Inhuman treatment of prisoners, esp. by countries other than the US. Note: an act that appears to be torture, and would be torture if performed by a foreigner, is not torture when performed by an American due to the purity of the American heart. "Stop saying Americans torture people or I'll waterboard you, freak."

regrettable adj Despicable, shameful. Esp. useful if the speaker has committed said shameful act: "I abhor the regrettable act of death it appears occurred when, following an evening of measured celebration, my car, it has been claimed, occupied the same physical space as Murray Blandston." (Tourist use: "Ugh, that salad was totally regrettable, Clive.")

WMD n Weapons of mass destruction. A useful term, for its versatility. For example, when wishing to arouse alarm in an audience, it may be used as a synonym for "nuclear missile on its way". On the other hand, when one is seeking WMDs, wishing to find evidence of them at all costs, a WMD may be as simple as a single trailer possibly used to produce chemical weapons, which later turns out to be a fabrication. "I find Saddam Hussein so not-relatable, on account of his WMDs."

recession n Something the economy apparently is constantly almost doing, but never does since, if it did it, this would be bad for business, which might cause a depression. "'Although recession-like characteristics have begun to appear, and are worsening, and I live in a shack and eat only apple cores, we do not believe this is a recession,' said the chairman of the Federal Reserve."

aten v Past tense of "eat". The conjugation is tricky - careful, or you'll be "outed" as non-American, esp. in rural areas. One can say one "has aten", "have had aten" or "is a-eaten" or "am thinking I had have aten, but then realised I hadn't not aten a sangle thang all dang day".

like A meaningless spacer used to buy the speaker time or indicate a careless, dissolute attitude. "I am, like, so, like, mad, at my, like, dad? He is so not relatable? And his hairline is in total, like, recession." (Tourist use: "Clive, I did not like that salad one iota. I am filled with regrettable, as if I was, like, under torture, or had aten a dang WMD.")