People have some really wacky reasons for having kids. For example, when pressed by my sister and me years ago as to why she had three kids, my mom replied, “It’s just nice when I want a Coke or a Kleenex and I don’t have to get up. There’s always someone around.”

Yes, really.

A common one is “I want someone to take care of me when I’m old.”

Well, I tend to think of myself as a bit of a pessimist. So when I hear someone say that, I think “There are no guarantees in life, honey.” There is no guarantee that if you have kids they will care for you when you’re old. They might live far away. They might die young. You might die young. Kind of morbid, I know, but there it is.

A few weeks back, I ran into an acquaintance who mentioned that she and a friend were getting ready to go to the beach for a week.

“It’s probably a good time to go, before the schools are out,” I said.

“Oh, yeah,” she replied. “It’s quiet and wonderful.”

At that point, I felt the need to C my A by saying, “It’s not that I don’t like kids …”

“Oh, I don’t like kids,” the acquaintance said simply, casually, matter-of-factly. “I don’t like kids. I don’t have kids. I don’t want kids.”

It was so refreshing.

She then went on to say, “I know lots of people want kids so they have someone to take care of them when they’re old. I don’t care. Someone will pick me up off the floor.”

And, you know, those are my sentiments exactly.

If next week I have a seizure at the post office, someone will pick me up off the floor.

If I’m 60 and fall down a flight of stairs at the office, someone will pick me up off the floor.

If I’m 80 and break my hip slipping on spilled applesauce at the grocery store, someone will pick me up off the floor.

Could it be I’m an optimist after all?

Let’s not go crazy.

It’s probably just because I was raised on the LifeCall commercials. But I believe if I’ve fallen and I can’t get up, someone will come for me. Even if it’s a service I have to pay for.

I imagine LifeCall is a lot cheaper than college tuition anyway.