1. The Founding Fathers were growers. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson both grew hemp on their plantations. TJ actually wrote the Declaration of Independence while high (that last part is not actually true).

2. Sinsemilla is the most potent form of pot. Sinsemilla (Spanish for "without seeds") is a female plant that is un-pollinated (no seeds!) to induce a high resin content.

3. Humans have been growing kindbud since the Neolithic era. Ha ha, Stonehenge stoners.

4. Cultivation (for medical purposes, with a doctor's note, killjoy) is legal in these 13 states: Alaska, California, Colorado, Hawaii, Maine, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Washington. p.s. "Cultivation" is a fancy word for "growing."

5. Otherwise, even SEED possession is illegal in the US. Pot life starts at conception!

6. Marijuana plants can grow anywhere corn can grow. If only the government subsidized weed as much as corn! Think about how much healthier we'd all be!

7. Growing pot is NOT for the disorganized, spacey stoner. Here is the Grower's Security Checklist, according to to Marijuana Horticulture; The Indoor/Outdoor Medical Grower's Bible by Jorge Cervantes.

8. Cops carry heat guns to detect UV lights in suburban homes. (This is why you should keep your electricity bill low.)

9. The US Postal Service is the most efficient way to ship your pot. You should use a fake return address and perhaps nestle it in some peanut butter.