(Halfway into a three hour and forty-five minute flight, a well-dressed and seemingly educated passenger rings her call button. She is frantic.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Passenger: “I’m going to miss my connecting flight!”

Me: “No, we’re on time. All connections will be made.”

Passenger: “No! I’m going to miss my connection!”

Me: “All reservations are made so as to give you plenty of time to make your connecting flights, even if we’re a little late. But we’re scheduled to arrive on time today.”

Passenger: “Well, if we arrive on time, then I will miss my connection!”

Me: “May I see your ticket, please?”

Passenger: “I. Don’t. Think. You. Understand! It is a three-hour and 45-minute flight. So if we left Philadelphia at 9, then we won’t get into Denver until 12:45. MY flight leaves at noon. SO, YOU SEE, I AM GOING TO MISS MY FLIGHT!”

Me: “Oh, oh… No… Denver is on Mountain Standard Time. We arrive 10:45.”

Passenger: “10:45?! How is that possible? Do you even know what you’re talking about?!”

Me: “Philadelphia is on Eastern Standard Time.”

Passenger: *blank stare*

Me: “Philly and Denver are in different time zones. There’s a two-hour time difference.”

Passenger: *blank stare*

(I try to explain to this 40-something woman the concept of time zones. When that doesn’t work, I explain that it’s not the same time everywhere in the world at the exact moment of every day. She doesn’t get it until I explain that that is why we have night and day.)

Passenger: “Oh. Whew. Thank you!”