Ladies. Get your tubes tied. There will be plenty of women stupid enough to stay fertile in the event of a zombie apocalypse. The repopulation of the planet does not depend on you. Let Lori take one for the team. That way you can still enjoy all the benefits of hot, sweaty, survivor sex without having to worry about 9 months of waddling away from zombies, and then the high and messy mortality of childbirth followed by years trying to keep a small child quiet so they don’t bring down a zombie hoard on your hideaway. That is a huge price to pay for one night of steamy tent passion with Shane (yes, SHANE).

3. Tetanus Shot

I know we covered vaccines already, but tetanus deserves its own blurb. What are zombies? Dirty, decaying corpses that spew pus and filth. What happens after social collapse? No one is running around with Windex and Purell, making our environment safe against germs, you can be sure of that. Anything could happen; we are talking an infection free for all. Go ahead step on a rusty nail after some zombie has been rubbing it all over his necrosis and see what happens! Tetanus. Much like appendicitis, your slow, agonizing death is pretty much assured. Only this time, as your limb starts to go gangrenous, you will start to go nuts. If you are lucky, someone in your group will hack off the offending appendage before that happens. But then what? Do you really want to be known amongst the zombie survivalists as Stumpy? It may have worked for Merle Dixon, but he was a weirdo redneck badass. Chances are, you will just be Stumpy.