Long time, no write. Today I did away with my previous custom HTML theme and chose a new, brighter, pre-made theme that's more mobile-friendly and probably has more readability for most people. But I had a jumbled mess of thought swirling around in my head today and figured I'd offload some of it to the old blog. I'd reserve these things for twitter but the word count is a joke and once I get to writing, ain't no stopping this train. But I've recently watched Les Miserables, the movie, and Phantom of the Opera, the Royal Albert Hall performance, and I've just become entranced with musical performances like this and have become somewhat obsessed with Phantom of the Opera specifically. I've watched it three times already in a few months which for me, is an astonishing feat in focus as I normally can't watch anything fully twice. I was mostly introduced to it by way of Nightwish, the symphonic heavy metal group who covered the theme song that you should definitely check out as well as performances by Sarah Bogess and Ramin Karimloo , really wonderful voices. I never thought I'd be into anything resembling opera, though this is technically Broadway or "popera", as much of opera seemed pompous, pretentious and way too mellow for me but of course tastes get refined and usually mellowed as we age so the me of past is in some ways vastly different than the me of present, and in some ways not. Situations like this are why I tend to think twice about someone with different artistic tastes or opinions than I, as it could've been me in the past or me in the future or under different conditions. But I've since sought out more true opera performances and though I haven't found as much to my liking as I hoped for, I've come to really appreciate the genre. When you find the right tune, it'll stop you in your tracks. I'm reminded of the scene in Amadeus when Antonio Salieri describes Amadeus' music . With the experience, there's sometimes a frisson, chills of excitement, involved as it's just you and the music on the same proverbial note free from the troubled tunes of the external world. You're synchronized with this beautiful orchestration which you feel is synchronized with an even bigger orchestration within the universe and in that moment, all is as it should be. And by the way, Amadeus is a great movie. I first saw it at age fifteen and the movie, especially that scene, has stuck with me ever since.These are things hard for me to admit because I come from a world where "men are men" and opera or classical music is "gay". Of course this all stems from a more male-driven, guarded psychological nature and perpetuated by cultural influences in that showing a vulnerable side of yourself isn't "manly". On the surface, this exposé may not appear to be evolutionarily advantageous but in some circumstances it can be, as discussed in the next paragraph but as they say, "weakness is provocative". A dog may not give chase until you run and show that you're game. The bully may bully because he's provoked by weakness, which in certain strategic circumstances, being provoked by weakness can in itself be a weakness as your opponent may be bluffing or have other options at the ready to cover his Achilles' heel. In a prison documentary I watched years ago, I recall a term that an interviewed prisoner used where the mentally ill or otherwise weak inmates would be provoked by others apparently as a fun game to kill the boredom. I want to say the term is "get checked" or "checked out" but google implies little to nothing of relevance there. Maybe that's an apt term since society, the world, and all thereof seems to like to check out our weaknesses to make us check out, or want to, check out of life. The weak are evolutionarily selected against, the filters of entropy strain us as we, biological thermodynamic engines, turn within this bigger thermodynamic engine of the universe.But these are hurdles of self-expression some of us eventually overcome as we get older and more comfortable showing a vulnerable side of ourselves as we become confident enough mentally to afford to express these things. The advantage being a catharsis, an expression, psychological and by extension, a deeper genetic expression of who you really are, with the slight disadvantage of showing a more vulnerable side. Such biological flaunting can be attractive to the opposite sex just as one may dare to pull all manner of crazy stunts to attract a partner by showing willingness to please, confidence in coordination and ability to afford possible mistakes all at the cost of exposing a possible vulnerability. And so it is, as they say, a strong man can afford to flaunt his weaknesses. And why must I try to evolutionarily validate every stupid thing I pose to the public as if I'm insecure in my convictions, which truth be told, I generally can be but I justify my over-thinking of these things in knowing that it helps me grow intellectually, to have more confidence in myself and oddly enough, humanity. Or maybe it's due to my somewhat autistic mindset of being overly analytical sometimes, a trait I might joke about but perhaps it can be somewhat annoying to others around me. But when I see people doing something we might think of as "stupid", oftentimes, it's not quite so stupid according to the merits of evolution. The universe can be a strange bedfellow but I think it knows what it's doing. Are the implications that I think the universe is somehow an intelligent entity, in itself? Well, there's lots of nuance in my views on that but discussing such unknowns and abstractions is a vast rabbit hole I'd prefer to deflect in this entry.But what truly inspired me to write about this topic is that when I see performance art such as music and dancing, I realize I get an almost spiritual feeling akin to that which I'd get when in tune with nature or in church, this sense of the world, at least that local world and time that you're in, all working in synchronicity to the positive goals of the group in that moment and place, or as I like to say, a low latency connection to the ethereal. I watch these things and I think, 'yep, that's what this is all about'. All the wondering and searching I do in life, the answer to it all is right in front of my face, like when you're working on a really tough problem and then it just comes to you with such surprise and grace that you're almost dumbfounded that it was just that simple. In all the troubles in the world and life, sometimes I can just watch people sing and dance in harmony, as cheesy as that sounds, and feel better. In some ways, the arts are under-valued, even to myself sometimes. Behind all the hard data and truths, it's nothing without the passion to emotionally drive it and both fulfill a role of knowing that the world agrees, in sync, with you and you it, emotionally, intellectually, physically and in other less definable ways. I would sort of get that same answer, that same universal synchronicity when playing a sport, work, working out, or riding a motorcycle which I was reminded of when watching these insane guys . You're at the top of your game, in the zone and it's almost spiritual. In that moment, you feel everything is in sync, you're in tune with this fine machinery that you personally employ which is in tune with the fine workings of the universe. There's this inextricable connection to time and space. One mistake and that link is broken but you feel in harmony with it and feel that it is also in harmony with you. You're connected to something greater than you and that connection can break at any moment, but it doesn't because you're doing what the universe is wanting you to do, be a fine-tuned machine that's synchronized to the symphony of negentropy, of the wishes of the gods, of the orchestra of evolution. You and the universe are one in the same, you're speaking the same language and it's a beautiful language, the zone. Be it in sports, be it in work, be it in intellect, to feel that you're in tune to the ebb and flow of universal frequencies, it's a great thing. And it's not something that I think we can ever be in tune with constantly as the every-changing entropic nature of the universe won't let us rest easy. It's being out of tune to things that makes us appreciate being in tune.I think the classical concepts of yin/yang, redemption, justice, karma and so on represent this rubber-banding that an optimal life is reliant upon, to stay tuned to this bigger harmonic frequency. I could go on and on about how I think this all ties in with thermodynamics and gravity but it'd be all conjecture and I like to keep science (concrete and known) and philosophy (abstract and unknown) separate, as well due to my lack of in-depth knowledge of both. But when watching or participating in orchestrated song and dance, this spiritual feeling is usually more obvious and immediate for me with little to no punishment for being out of sync or tune with its workings relative to say, lifting weights, where you may have a subjectively huge weight when you're pushing your limits. Not that I know a whole lot about it but I try to "keep fit" when health affords it. It's great and even almost spiritual when you can push the limits of your lift but very immediately soul-crushing when you can't, sometimes even back-crushing but let's not speak of that incident. But the weights are real; they may be the realest thing you encounter all day. When you're in tune, when your mind and body are harmoniously synced up, you can look at the weights with sufficient confidence that the universe isn't going to play dice with you and that you and it are speaking the same language. You see the weight knowing how much it is, you grab it, you lift it, and yep, just like that you feel validated in knowing you just spoke to the universe and in reciprocation, it spoke to you and validated the connection, you did the proverbial TCP 3-way handshake . Not only is your physical connection validated but your mental connection also. You know you and the universe are best buds, at least in that moment of time and space.But I also get that same universal validation in the sciences although intellectual discovery can be less exciting and maybe a bit more vague, especially in philosophy while results can be more concrete in math, physics and engineering, which is what I can appreciate about those subjects. In the latter, when it works, you know it and you can feel it. You're in sync with the workings of the universe and it's obvious as we can build bridges with it, communicate worlds away and you can write out formulas, apply them to traverse the heavens knowing each and every time that it's the same language the universe speaks as long as given circumstances are the same. But with song and dance the connection is more immediate and exciting. Let's say you're in church and you have a slight disagreement about biblical interpretation. You might feel a bit of disconnect from your fellow man but when singing hymns, all may be forgotten as long as his singing's not too atrocious, of course. In that moment, you're both in tune to each other which you both may feel is synced up to some greater frequency. The previous disagreement may now seem trivial in comparison to the greater connection you've made. I stay away from churches these days as there's no gods I've found worthy of worship or believable but I still remember the feeling, the same feeling I'd get in high school band class or marching in boot camp. It's not a spirituality or universal connection that's monopolistic to religion, it's within man and to be found in many types of experiences. In summation, I think music, art as well as other subjects previously discussed, which kind of veered me off topic for a bit, can be underappreciated ways of maintaining a connection to your fellow man and the universe itself.This is all a bit sloppily written and edited. I could edit it better but I'll leave it for now as I think there's more intellectual honesty in not hiding fallibilities. But I'll probably wind up editing later (honestly I just did to add more and elaborate while my mind is still tuned to the subject) because my OCD won't let me make too many conscious mistakes. We can't have that, down with that sort of thing . I did have more in mind to write about but for me, wise words come more fleetingly and about the time they fleet is when the coffee fleets out of my system. The rest of the day my mind is an array of scattered thoughts.Edit: Another thing that spurred this article is that I noticed a slight air of contempt for artistic and even spiritual pursuit in more present day, just as much from the religious sectors as the secular, especially in attainment of relevant formal educational courses because it may have less potential monetary value for the self and perhaps society. I'd say there are more things that fuel the fires of humanity and nurture it than the monetary currencies of men. Conversely, I guess you could argue that money is an abstract reflection of the pursuits of men where, in ways I previously discussed, those pursuits could bring about more spiritual satiation. Maybe we're not fair to those who seek money as a wholly fulfilling activity. Maybe others aren't fair to those who seek spirituality in the arts, or in nature, or elsewhere. Maybe if we actually take some time out and think about things more, divert from our own pursuits for a moment, then we could understand each other better and understand a little bit more about ourselves as a species also. But I digress, I realize not everyone's afforded the time, interest and/or attention for such things as much as others and in pursuit to help others reach a more harmonious state when not ready, it can cause a non-harmonious state, thereby being counter-intuitive to the initial pursuit of peace-seeking. Which leads to the old existential problem of ends vs means, consequentialism vs deontologicalism respectively, though few have argued the latter notions aren't exactly mutually exclusive.It seems the more I think about things, the less I have to say or need to say as I realize the methods to the madness. The more I think ahead of what I'm going to write and try to see the other side of things, sometimes the more I want to scrap it all and not write at all since I begin to understand the other side and that perhaps most of this is just meaningless, overly verbose platitudes of egotistical social signalling like the latter part of the sentence, ironically. The more I bite from the proverbial fruit of knowledge, the more I'm nurtured with understanding and the more peaceful I become, which ironically seems sort of antithetical to the biblical Genesis. Funny thing, ain't it? What hath the gods wrought?