Sorry to my fellow liberals in the United States. I wish I could stay. But I can’t. Because you got mad at Black Olives Matter and equip propagandist social media fools with talking points about Colin Kaepernick so they all stay “on message.”

I can’t stay because our principles have been hijacked. They’ve been churned into a vapid black hole of one-ups and conversation closers instead of the utopia of thought and reason we want.

We strived for a public square of ideas. We got trigger warnings and safe spaces.

We wanted a strong debate that was driven by science, mathematics, facts and diversity of thought. We got 51 genders.

We recognized climate change and wanted to applaud scientific achievement where possible. We instead got an army warring with one of our generation’s most gifted scientists over “sexist shirts”.

We wanted equality. We got the perpetual gender pay gap argument that is patently false. But that’s not important — it’s a narrative that is as easy to sell as an AR-15.

We are mindless to openly advocate for the revocation of certain “weapons of war” but never really take the time to understand how those weapons actually work, or consider that perhaps gun violence in the United States is more complex than magazine size.

Is it cultural, societal? No, we no longer like complex. Give us those talking points and memes on gun control for us to share. Give us legislation that bars anyone on the no fly list from buying a weapon. Let’s have the government deny our constitutional rights because of a tweet we sent in the past.

We incredulously and openly advocate for the regulation of words if they’re subjectively deemed hateful or offensive. We no longer value our freedom of speech.

If we say “institutionalized racism” or “systems of oppression” enough we won’t ever have to identify which policies are racist or put forth actionable proposals to fix it.

We laugh at bible thumpers and come well prepared with “Christians do it” rebuttals whenever an act of “radical Islamic terrorism” happens, and we share those without accusation because we know somebody is already equipped to ostracize Islam. We’ve been endowed for that Holy war.

We should rally against surveillance of Muslims, bans, walls and religious tests. We instead ignore honor killings, rampant homophobia, favorable views of ISIS and brush aside women’s rights while lifelessly spewing “religion of peace” with no regard for the very non-peaceful little book that inspires those atrocities.

But then we take ownership of women’s rights. Falsely claiming that a pro-life candidate is inherently anti-woman, though nearly half of all women don’t support abortion all the time themselves. But all those women are anti-woman because they don’t adhere to some dogmatic definition of “woman” the left has now fabricated.

We’re pompous AF.

We humorously claim anyone, across all spectrums, who supports Donald Trump MUST be a xenophobe, homophobe, racist and sexist isolationist. We throw around these classifications until they’ve lost all meaning. We disregard conservatives as silly, ill-informed voters, dismissing millions of Americans who have families, jobs and genuine fears about where the country is heading.

We don’t take the time to have a conversation. We like videos with neat yellow text to tell us our opinions.

In chorus, we share the same responses to #AllLivesMatter that Vox, Fusion and Salon gave us because we can’t think of anything clever on our own that makes the point our friends want us to make.

We insist protests are peaceful but can’t imagine how rhetoric can lead to aggressive action and deaths of innocent lives. However, we erroneously insist the Republican candidate for President is the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler based on nothing more than rhetoric.

We stand for tolerance but petition and protest against Bill Maher from speaking at a college commencement because, you know, controversy.

We take good skepticism and interest in Israeli-Palestinian relations and turn it into the BDS movement.

We’re globalists who knew nothing of the politics of the European Union until the day after the #Brexit vote, where undoubtedly and immediately we knew it was a terrible decision and Boris Johnson was an ostensible twat.

We should rally against massive economic inequality and push for quality education for all but instead we advocate for a 90% tax rate, viewing the economy as a complete abstraction and failing to understand how such lunacy affects hundreds of millions of real people who collectively make up that economy.

We’re a joke. A heap of hypocrisy. We harbor ideas of dissent but also harbor fear that our collective will ridicule us if we take a step out of line. We’re lifeless cowards.

We value diversity while at the same time actively shut large groups of people out. We follow the same 20 Facebook pages and regurgitate the same nonsense while dismissing anyone who has a different point of view. We call conservatives and critics of political correctness “idiots” and their opposing opinions “hate speech”.

Our platitudinous arguments cause collective groans from anyone outside our filter bubble. We insist on constantly being bitter.

We publish articles like “Your 2015 Guide to Arguing With your Conservative Uncle this Thanksgiving” because we can’t seemingly have a conversation on our own. We encourage our comrades to ruin a family get together, but love trumps hate.

We’re not interested in debate and we can’t separate ourselves for one moment to try and imagine the other side. We just want to be right.

But today, I’m separated from the left. And boy does it feel right.