Let’s call him Dr. X.

I had read the peer reviewed medical literature, which said protruding labia minora were “unfeminine,” “embarrassing,” and caused by excess androgens (false). Outcome studies reported “no serious complications” and “no risk to sexual function.” Dr. X was recommended as the best OB/GYN surgeon by the head of his department, so I assumed I’d be safe.

My consent form, of which I have a copy, says, “excision of redundant labia.” Dr. X completely removed all of my labia minora, performed a clitoral hood reduction without my consent, and cut the dorsal nerves of my clitoris. As a result, I have no sensation distal to my scars. The glans of my clitoris is insensate.

To this day, he denies performing the clitoral hood reduction at all, though I have visible scars to prove it. His colleague, who has examined me twice over the years, has tried to explain this to him. He insists I must have had a second surgery or cut myself.

I have so much shame and regret over not standing up for myself better in the past. All I have wanted is for him to admit what he did wrong and help improve training standards to protect other patients. I have been struggling with this for over a decade now.

In the years following my surgery, he and his partner did not disclose that anything had gone wrong, even after I expressed concern over loss of sexual function. I was told this could not have happened. It was all very confusing, as I had been a virgin at the time of my surgery and had very little grasp of the anatomy. I knew I had lost sensation, but I didn’t know what it meant. It has been so hard to explain how clueless I was. I had gotten a 1540 on my SAT, but I could not find the clitoris.

I received oral sex once before my surgery. I will never feel that again. This may be too much information, but what happened to me never seems to register to people unless I spell it out. Over the years, when I have told people, they have assumed the issue is psychological. It isn’t.

After my surgery, my doctor became president of the medical association for a state. Later he became the president of a medical society for a city.

In 2010, I wrote him a letter explaining what he did, explaining the problem with systemic negligence surrounding female genital cosmetic surgeries, and asking for his help protecting other patients by improving training standards. He responded by denying the clitoral hood reduction I have scars to prove, claiming my labia minora atrophied, and blaming me for my result, in a letter of which I have a copy. He revealed he’d only done two before mine, also for other physicians’ family members (so he was not ever trained to do labiaplasties).

The reason I never reported him was I became suicidal after that letter. I was afraid if I reported it, the state medical board would blame me and take his side because of his reputation. This is what my psychiatrist told me would happen. I was scared I could get triggered to the point of attempting suicide again, so I put off reporting. By the time I worked up the courage, a new statute of limitations had passed, and it was too late.

Last week, after 14 years, I finally thought he was going to admit it. He had finally agreed to examine me so I could show him. But I thought this would be traumatic, so I had his colleague examine me again and explain it to him. I thought this would finally be a way for me to get some closure. Instead, he now says I must have had a second surgery or that I made the incisions myself. Not only did he take something very important to human quality of life from me, but he continues to discredit me in my efforts to change training standards moving forward.

What happened to me is functionally equivalent to female genital mutilation involving the clitoris. I know everyone will ask what this means. I’ve had so many therapists over the years just look at me blankly because they had no idea what I was telling them. Some insisted that I am “normal,” as lots of women have difficulty with orgasm. I cannot stand people saying this. The glans is the visible part of the clitoris — the part that is most sensitive, the part people are most aware of. Dr. X cut the innervation to the glans in a surgery performed without my consent.

I have not wanted to tell my story. But I want him to acknowledge what he did. He has the power to change this for other patients. All it would take is for ABOG and ACGME to stop telling ambulatory care providers that OB/GYNs are qualified based on residency training alone, for ACOG to issue an opinion and to offer CME for these as long as they continue to approve them, and for ABOG to add clitoral neurovascular anatomy to board exams, which they refuse to do. Dr. X has connections at these organizations.

Dr. X could influence everyone who matters and protect countless other patients if he chose to do so instead of denying he ever made a mistake.

There have been so many stories about how men in power have gotten away with sexual assault. This man in power has gotten away with damaging the most critical component of the most critical organ for female sexual pleasure permanently, by doing a surgery he was not trained to do on anatomy he clearly didn’t know well. His knowledge of vulvar anatomy was apparently so poor, he performed a clitoral hood reductions by accident. His victim was a naive, trusting 18 year old girl.

It has to mean something.