COLLEGE PARK, MD—Calling it the most reliable sign of an at-risk marriage, a study released Monday by the University of Maryland found that uttering the phrase, “Marriage is hard work,” was the number one predictor of divorce. “Our research shows that expressing a sentiment such as, ‘No one said marriage would be easy,’ is, in the vast majority of cases, an indicator that a bitter, acrimonious divorce is inevitable,” said lead researcher Grant Evelich, noting that, above all else, a marriage is most likely to fall apart after one partner insists with an air of authority that a healthy marriage is about making difficult sacrifices or learning to compromise with your spouse. “We also found that asserting, ‘No relationship is a walk in the park,’ or that, ‘There will always be rough patches,’ makes it three times as difficult to stay in your marriage. The figures suggest, furthermore, that anyone who states that their wedding vows require them to, ‘Stick together through the tough times,’ is, in fact, likely to be divorced within six months.” Evelich went on to say that invoking the aphorism, “Sometimes people grow apart,” is the number one indicator that the divorce was entirely that person’s fault.

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