You've been jumping from sports holiday to sports holiday. You're coming off the Masters. Before that, you were on the NCAA tournament. Now you've turned your attention to the Stanley Cup playoffs. Good. It's about time you came to your senses.

Because you haven't been paying much attention to the NHL this season (and even if you have been), we bring you a cheat sheet to bring you up to speed so you can fake it when standing around the watercooler with your co-workers (or wherever people gather today without their phones).

Follow along.

When do the hockey playoffs start?

Actually, they're called the Stanley Cup playoffs -- it's the most difficult trophy to win in sports, don'tcha know -- and they start Wednesday night with three games.

Is it really the most difficult trophy to win in sports?

Have you ever won it?

No.

Well, then.

Who are the defending champions again?

The Chicago Blackhawks beat the Tampa Bay Lightning in six games last year to win their third Stanley Cup in the past six years. It was the first time the Blackhawks had won the Cup on home ice since 1938.

Yes, the Blackhawks and Lightning are good again. Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Are the Blackhawks and Lightning still good?

Yes, on both accounts. The Blackhawks are going up against the St. Louis Blues, as usual, and the Lightning will be facing the Detroit Red Wings, as usual. The Blackhawks are in decent shape, seem to be favored in most quarters and are fairly healthy. So, although the Blues had another great season, some consider them underdogs. As usual. The Lightning are still an incredibly talented and deep team -- when they're healthy, which they are not. Among the missing: captain Steven Stamkos (blood clot), stalwart defenseman Anton Stralman (broken leg) and speedy forward Tyler Johnson (undisclosed upper-body injury, but likely to his left shoulder or head), who was the Lightning's leading goal scorer and points guy in last year's playoff run. I know, right? So, the Red Wings stand more of a chance against the Lightning than they would have a month ago.

That was more than I needed to know. Who's favored to win it all?

Many of the heavy favorites are in the West; favorites include the Washington Capitals, Los Angeles Kings, Blackhawks, Dallas Stars and Pittsburgh Penguins. Our experts' picks can be found here.

Wait, the Penguins? I thought Sidney Crosby was having a bad season.

Turns out you have been paying a little bit of attention. Yes, Crosby started slowly, but then Penguins coach Mike Johnston was fired and new boss Mike Sullivan came in and took the harnesses off and, boy, did the horses ever run from the barn.

What the heck does that mean?

The Penguins' offense really picked up under the new coach, and they've been the best team in the East practically since the coaching change. They're playing the New York Rangers, as usual, who are on a bit of a slide. So, yeah, the Penguins. But there are goalie issues with them, as usual.

Can Sidney Crosby get the monkey off his back and win another Cup? ESPN Illustration

Did Crosby win the scoring title? What's it called? The Marion Ross Trophy?

Now you're just causing trouble. Actually, Patrick Kane won the Art Ross Trophy, the first American in history to do so. Crosby finished third, which is unbelievable considering he was so far out of it after the first month of the season.

Right, I heard something about Kane in the news. What was that?

A woman accused him of rape, but the prosecutor decided not to file charges, and the NHL said it won't discipline him.

Oh-kay.

What else do you want to know?

Go back. You said the Capitals are favored. Is that right?

Yes, the Capitals had a great season and won the Presidents' Trophy, Alex Ovechkin scored 50 goals, Braden Holtby tied Martin Brodeur's single-season wins record, Barry Trotz is a solid Jack Adams nom--

The Capitals? The Washington Capitals?

I know it sounds crazy, but they actually stand a pretty good chance this year. And with the East being a bit on the, er, weaker side than the West, this could actually be their year.

Hmmph. Does that include the Montreal Canadiens? They're usually pretty good.

Not this year. No Canadian teams made the playoffs this season.

A year after losing in Game 7 of the finals, Chris Pronger finally won his only Cup in 2007 with the Ducks. Jeff Gross/Getty Images

Is Canada going to be OK with that?

They'll be fine -- probably around the time the Canadian players on the Stanley Cup-winning team bring the Cup there during their summertime victory tour.

How about that Jaromir Jagr?

I can't answer a rhetorical question.

What do I need to know about him?

At age 44, he's a key reason the Florida Panthers are favored in their series against the New York Islanders. If he scores, he'll be the third player 44 or older to do so in the playoffs. And he has the best hair in hockey, if not in all of sports.

We're talking about hair now?

I guess. What else?

I think I'm good.

Good to hear.

What do you know about the NBA playoffs?

Sorry, that's another guy.