I look forward to this exchange every year, but after not receiving a gift from my match or rematch last year, I was soured on the whole Secret Santa thing this year.

So when my gift came in a very small box, I got nervous. When I opened it up and it was a small pocket flashlight, I'll admit, I was a little dejected. "Who the hell gives a dollar store flashlight as a gift? I said I like surprises, but c'mon, a little effort please!"

But then I looked closer, and did something odd, I read the manual.

"By Odin's beard," I exclaimed, "this isn't just a flashlight this is the one flashlight to rule them all."

Here are some of it's features:

*USB rechargeable - small stand is magnetic *Magnetic base *Multiple brightnesses including "moon mode" and "OMG! IT'S SO BRIGHT IT'S BURNING MY RETINAS!" *Strobe light for emergencies or emergency raves *Sonic screwdriver *A timer that will automatically turn it off *Ok, not a sonic screwdriver

Thank you Santa! You done real good!