Former Newsnight presenter Laura Kuenssberg has been announced as the BBC's new political editor

Her selection as the new political editor of the BBC came not with a bang but a whimper. An over-excited, trigger-happy BBC executive tweeted the news of her appointment on social media, then hastily deleted it.

Apparently the other contenders on the shortlist had not been given the bad news. Some say that even Laura Kuenssberg herself did not know of her promotion. The official confirmation of her appointment came three long hours later, another media shambles worthy of BBC spoof W1A.

So well done everyone, what an excellent mess. For a news organisation to fluff the news about its most important news appointment for ten years was not good news. This, after all, is the top job in British broadcast journalism.

But to be honest, the entire business has been hideously awkward since outgoing editor Nick Robinson announced he would be moving to the R4 Today programme in the autumn. The highly regarded journalist has recently written an election diary and has received treatment for lung cancer.

I will miss Nick on daily news television. From breakfast bulletins to Newsnight updates, he was an eternal, steady presence; his crisp summations of the political situation delivered with clarity and without ego. It was never about him: not always something you could say about his rivals.

However, from the moment the plum vacancy was announced, BBC bosses made it clear that they wanted a woman for the job to give the Corporation’s political coverage more gender balance.

A lady person! Crack open the Babycham and the cal-free snacks. For a mere girl in the top job would be cutting edge and groovy and inclusive, not to mention super-modern and make them look really, really great.

Yet hang on a minute. Isn’t making it clear that female candidates will be favoured not unlawful discrimination by any other name? Positive discrimination is just as sexist as the negative sort and anyway, there is nothing positive about it if you’re a bloke who has toiled in the trenches for years, only to be foiled at the last hurdle by some upstart chick who has caught the boss’s eye.

So tough luck for deputy political editor James Landale, who landed the scoop of the election when David Cameron confessed to him that he would not seek a third term in power. Boo hoo to all the other hard-working and now slightly disillusioned chaps who might have fancied their chances at the top job but understood that Men Need Not Apply was the tacit message.

Should I even mention that any company which advertised a position with an understood disclaimer that ‘women need not apply’ would find themselves in very hot water indeed? Of course not.

Despite all this muddle and the scramble to be politically correct, Laura Kuenssberg is an excellent choice. In my book, she would have been the number one choice even if a thousand men were in the running, which is the tragic irony of it all. She was brilliant on election night, she shines on Newsnight, she has been impressive for years.

So it has been particularly galling to see BBC executives and certain newspapers crowing about the first female political editor of the BBC. These things are not supposed to matter. No one would boast about the first black editor or first Jewish editor, after all. To do so is demeaning to Laura Kuenssberg and to all of us. Women are supposed to be equal, not singled out for special praise if we happen to do well, like the village idiot or the class clown.

In the sex wars it always seems to be three steps forward and six steps back.

Shame there was so little mention of what is really special about Laura Kuenssberg — her age. Consider that when they were appointed to the post, Nick Robinson was 42, Andrew Marr 41, Robin Oakley 51, John Cole 54 and David Holmes 49. She is only 38, the youngest person ever to be appointed to the job.

Person. Not woman. Thank you.

Tip of the iceberg lettuce

When is a jar of oregano not a jar of oregano? When it is padded out with cheap rubbish.

Experts at Which? have discovered that 25 per cent of dried oregano in British shops is bulked out with olive or myrtle leaves.

This is the latest in a chain of food frauds that include horsemeat sold as beef, lamb curries that do not contain lamb and something called shark catfish masquerading as cod.

Last year, The Grocer magazine reported that £1 million of counterfeit vodka and 22 tonnes of long grain rice posing as expensive basmati were being shipped into the country.

I imagine this is only the tip of the food fraud iceberg lettuce. What about salad leaves, fruit and vegetables that are grown in water and have no natural vitamins — or even food supplements and vitamin tablets, which must be rife with chicanery?

Earlier this year I bought a jar of thyme in a French supermarket. I like to sprinkle it on the skin of roast fish, thanks for asking. Anyway, it was completely different and vastly superior to anything I have ever bought here.

Which? is calling for the Government and the Food Standards Agency to do more to stop food fraud. Let’s hope they do. I’m tired of British consumers being treated like mugs.

Just put a sock in it, ladies

Excuse me. I’m totally lost. What is going on in this row between rapper Nicki Minaj and pop star Taylor Swift? Nicki was peeved her pop video didn’t get nominated for an MTV award, while Taylor’s did. Nicki said she was penalised because she had bootylicious black girls in her film, not like the skinny white ones in Taylor’s. The bias was racist and sizeist, not talent-ist. Taylor said like, calm down, I love you, sister. Then Nicki said I wasn’t talking about you and Taylor said, like, sorry.

Taylor Swift and Nicki Minaj in friendlier times, left, and Swift performing, right

Then singer Katy Perry waded in and said the row was embarrassing, which was a bit much for someone who once married Russell Brand and has a bra that shoots fireworks into the audience.

Then everyone took sides: Black Feminism or White Feminism — which was what really got me. Surely there should be only one type of feminism? We’re all in it together or we are not. Apparently not.

No doubt that Rankin is a noted photographer. He might even be great. Certainly, some people think so.

He gets paid up to £100,000 a day for his work and has photographed the Queen, Kate Moss, Tony Blair, Madonna and anyone who was a someone in the Nineties. He shot the Dove ‘real women’ campaign and has the kind of Leftish charity profile that finds approval among the BBC camp.

Still, did they have to hire him at vast expense to take pictures for the staff headshots? Another grandiose gesture that’s a waste of money.

Oh Mr Bond. I’ve been expecting you. Yum. Trailers for Spectre, the new 007 film, were released this week. And they look amazing. Somersaulting helicopters, supercar chases, explosions galore, guns and grenades. Not that I’m interested in any of that old rubbish.

No, I was too busy poring over glimpses of Daniel Craig. And they were wonderful. He unzipped Monica Bellucci’s dress like a man peeling open a present, blew up a room, wore a white dinner jacket and a skeleton mask. But not at the same time. His physicality, that chip of ice in his heart, his patriotism? All present and correct. No budgie smugglers in sight, yet Daniel looks even more craggily handsome than ever. This is going to be his last Bond — why oh why? From this glimpse, DC could be JB for ever.

Role model? No a pious fraud

Hush everyone, Emma Thompson is speaking. The actress has been raging on about ‘entrenched sexism’ in the media and speaking about her film role as a 77-year-old prostitute. She admits this is ‘a bit ageist’ as she’s only 56. ‘It would be really nice to get someone who is actually 77 to play her, but it’s a wildly comic role and I couldn’t resist.’

God, she is such a pious fraud. If she wanted an older actress to get the job, she should have turned it down. Instead, she grabbed it with both hands — and also took the opportunity to lecture us about it. Typical selfish, leftie, luvvie nonsense. Do as I say, not as I do.

Actress Emma Thompson has been speaking out about entrenched sexism in the media

Duncan Bannatyne pictured with his former girlfriend Michelle Evans

One of us is a ghastly bully Duncan - and it's not me

What did I ever do to tandoori-tanned Duncan Bannatyne, except once point out that his startling personal dentistry was the work of an orthodontics wizard? That was a compliment.

Still, the former TV personality took to Twitter to brand me ‘disgusting’ for my item last week about Caitlyn Jenner.

My argument is that Caitlyn’s positioning of herself as a saintly campaigner and role model for the transgender cause has its constraints. Chiefly, that her celebrity protects her from much of the anguish ordinary transgender people must face. Not everyone can afford the private facial feminisation surgery, for a start.

There’s nothing awful about that. Did Duncan even read it, I wonder?

What is awful is a grown man taking to social media to try to humiliate and denounce women who have annoyed him. After two-timing his former girlfriend Michelle Evans, he takes pleasure in publicly taunting her. Last week, he posted an image of a skeleton (above right), which he captioned: ‘My ex waiting for someone better to come along.’ Miss Evans also reported that Bannatyne had threatened to release nude photographs of her. He denied this, and has posted cryptic tweets about a ‘bunny boiler’ instead.

One of us is a ghastly bully and perhaps slightly deranged. But Duncan, it isn’t me.

Besotted DJ Calvin Harris is to take girlfriend Taylor Swift (yes, her again) home to meet mum and dad in his home town of Dumfries in Scotland.

Uh-oh. Does the millionaire songstress know what she is letting herself in for?

Taylor, I think I can help you out here, lingo-wise.

A ‘doonhammer’ is a native of the town, like your boyfriend. ‘Biscuit ersed’ means someone who is confused, possibly drunk, like your friend Nicki Minaj. The ‘Netto ghetto’ is a shopping area of Dumfries dominated by a low-price supermarket chain. And ‘Hold ma chips, I’ve dropped the bairn,’ is an exhortation from a local mother to help her with a childcare problem. Have fun!

Erin HEATHERTON, Blake Lively, Gisele Bundchen, Bar Refaeli, Toni Garrn and now Kelly Rohrbach. What do these bronzed, blonde beautiful swimsuit models and actresses have in common? Two words: Leonardo DiCaprio.

The 40-year-old film star has dated them all, among others. And almost all of them were aged around 24 at the time.