That's very good! I hope this is constructive for you:



Maybe you should change the pronunciation of "you" to be even more southern? It falls kind of flat the way you say it now. I mean the "you" at 0:07 but also the others.



Also the last sentence "you can miss it trust me" sound a bit monotone, kind of like a robot.



But this is really good! I think you can nail it! You definitely got something going.



e: I would most definitely play F2 with that VO

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