A MAN has proved he is extremely masculine and virile by driving slightly faster than another man, he feels.

Driver Wayne Hayes demonstrated how physically and sexually powerful he was after spotting fellow road user Martin Bishop ahead of him on a B-road.

Sales executive Hayes said: “I pushed the accelerator down and within seconds my car was travelling faster than his car. God, I must have loads of excellent testosterone.

“Just by being ahead the guy was insulting me. I couldn’t let him get away with that so I took my Vauxhall Astra up to almost 50mph. I don’t think there’s any doubt now who has the biggest dick.

“When he caught up with me at some lights I revved the engine furiously. I expect that made him wet himself. It’s a shame he had his windows up because I’d have liked to hear his cries of fear.

“If we had to do a manly thing like a sword fight or killing a dinosaur I’d win. He probably has erection problems too. I don’t, most of the time.”

Other driver Martin Bishop said: “Who is this Wayne Hayes chap? He sounds like a bit of a knob.”