I wasn’t sure how to title this one, but basically, the kids are swapping last names with their same-gendered, opposite-moon’d counterparts. That puts us here:



Also, since I received a couple of questions about it, the way lands work is that whoever ends up swapping with Jade switches first terms (Frost/Whatever), and the other pair swaps last terms. Simple!

John Strider - Knight of Breath, Land of Wind and Clockwork

Rose Harley - Witch of Light, Land of Frost and Rain

Dave Egbert - Heir of Time, Land of Heat and Shade

Jade Lalonde - Seer of Space, Land of Light and Frogs

FULL ANALYSES UNDER THE READ MORE!

As much as I love John Egbert, John Strider is not a sweet dumb baby boy - I wouldn’t call him a sleazebag but I would call him unreliable. John Strider lives a taciturn existence with his Father and the urn of his GRANDMA, a once famous food critic who now rests as ashes, passing on a high-stress baking job to her son. John enjoys the finer things in life - coasting through school with Cs and minimal effort, telling his Dad that he needs to help a friend when his Dad needs help with cakes, and vice versa. His internal environment is pretty much in disarray - he fears responsibilities because he fears failing at them, but when it comes down to it, he’s funny and clever and can pick up the slack when it’s really, really needed. His interests aren’t exactly anything esoteric, he plays a little VIDEO GAME, he reads a couple of BOOK, he’s spread wafer thin, never committing his interest to anything too deeply or sincerely, in case a story ends and disappoints him.

John’s Land is the LAND OF WIND AND CLOCKWORK, ruled over by the Denizen ATLAS. A land of greying sandstone mountains, like a massive, treeless Himalayas, brushed over with warm, dry wind, massive brass GEARS emerging from the mountains, turning to power some unknown internal mechanism deep below, a winding maze of pipes that keeps the consort villages supplied with sand and dust to reinforce their buildings. ATLAS has captured the singing CRICKETS that live amongst the cliffsides, once providing glorious symphony to the villages at the bottom of the ravines, encasing them at the center of the MOUNTAINS’ HEART at the end of each cave, a now-abandoned system of caverns that are now full of dangerous underlings. Without the song of the crickets, the GEARS are slowly winding to a halt, and the villages are losing ground to the onslaught of ATLAS’s underlings.

John’s Strife Specibus is PLATEKIND, since he just grabbed the nearest object and was surprised when it allocated, and he was too lazy to change from the default ARRAY MODUS. His symbol is a stylized tornado. His CHUMHANDLE is tootiredGusername.

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Rose Harley is a sort of philosophical academic sort of lass, wise beyond her years in a way that bothers authority figures, if there were any teachers where she lived! She lives on her island with her MOM, who spends most of her time reading or making new esoteric inventions in the basement of their tower. Her cat PLATO and her dog SOCRATES are her faithful and overprotective companions, making sure she doesn’t venture too far from her book-stocked tower. Her favorite topic of study is the SEPARATION BETWEEN SENSATION, PERCEPTION, and REALITY, and she will lecture you at length about the allegory of the cave if you let her, and how nothing is real except for ideal forms - which is why she’s absolutely delighted once she begins figuring out how Sburb works. Her other interests lie in similar boundaries, in OPTICAL and AUDITORY ILLUSIONS, and VIDEO EDITING to make HOME MOVIES.

Rose’s Land is the LAND OF FROST AND RAIN, a land full of melting icebergs buoyed up by rafts and inflatables, caught between the bathtub-temperature oceans and nearly constant freezing rain. Her Denizen is DIONYSUS, who supposedly prefers the warmth of the ocean to the ice of the unpleasant rain, and has put inscrutable machinations in place to increase the planet’s temperature. To that end, he’s set up nearly invisible MIRRORUINS, all of which need to be smashed and destroyed by Rose to ensure the land remains stable in its heat, but, most importantly, need to be found first!

Rose’s Strife Specibus is FLASHLIGHTKIND, and her Sylladex uses the SEARCH MODUS, which automatically tags objects with a number of tags instead of their image, and Rose must use keywords to summon forth the appropriate object. Her symbol is a torch. Her CHUMHANDLE is generousGelatine.

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Dave Egbert lives a disenchanted life in the suburbs of Washington, patiently awaiting the day he gets whisked away by something important. He lives a strict, regimented, heavily scheduled existence, partially enforced by his BROTHER, a disgraced heir to a long-extinct baking company who struggled to discover himself in the years afterwards, ending up as a relationship advice columnist, and partially enforced by HIS OWN NEUROTICISM. He’s a cherished member of his local SCHOOL CHOIR, and has a passion for MUSICAL THEATER and STEAMPUNK, creating the most obnoxious kind of middle schooler. He also has a passing interest in ASTROLOGY, which gets thoroughly explored once the Trolls enter the picture. His TIME TRAVEL OBJECT is an OBNOXIOUS STEAMPUNK GAUNTLET.

Dave’s Land is the LAND OF HEAT AND SHADE, a balmy tropical clusterfuck with frequent towering clouds that devolve into rapid rainstorms at a moment’s notice, only to evaporate as they hit the ground and shroud the land in a low, allergy-aggravating mist. His land is ruled by GILGAMESH, who has unleashed a curse onto the land that causes UNCONTROLLABLE IVY GROWTH, strangling out the rest of the plant life and beginning to remove the comfortable canopy of leaves that enshrouds the land - and only the SONG OF DECAY will be enough to remove the grip of the ivies from the jungle landscape.

Dave’s Strife Specibus is GAUNTLETKIND, and his Sylladex is the WAIT MODUS, which lets him freely deposit and withdraw items as long as he has room in his schedule for them (so, a variety of PUZZLE MODUS). His symbol is a pocketwatch. His CHUMHANDLE is errorBalance.

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Jade Lalonde lives in the forested valley known as Rainbow Falls with her FATHER, a formerly religious man who has grown disillusioned with his own beliefs, a crisis of faith leading to his overall neglect of his daughter’s talents and joys, instead spending most of his time writing theological treatises on the nature of God. Jade, for the most part, rejects this lifestyle, and considers herself sort of an INFORMATIONAL BOHEMIAN - she loves to hear about the latest GOSSIP and DRAMA, even if it’s not from her circle of friends. She’s very well informed about CURRENT EVENTS, and desires to be a JOURNALIST, so that she can keep the world informed about the things she sees as important to know about. When she’s not looking into the news, she likes to make WEIRD, ABSTRACT CHIMERIC MEMES by photoshopping other memes together into strange masses.

Jade’s Land is the LAND OF LIGHT AND FROGS, a wispy, barren badlands that she’s been transported to, the only thing on the horizon being the unlit forge. DEMETER sleeps in the core, but her influence seeps out into dangerous CARNIVOROUS BLOOMS which must be tended to at critical locations to prevent the stability of LOLAF’S chasm-hanging villages from unwinding and falling into the core. Jade can’t prune the plants quickly enough to outpace their growth, so instead, she must learn to HARMONIZE AND TAME them, ensuring that they end up reinforcing LOLAF’s structure instead of undermining it.

Jade’s Strife Specibus is HAMMERKIND, which is curiously allocated into when she takes one of her FATHER’S crucifixes. Her Sylladex is the REFERENCE MODUS, which displays a helpful list of physical facts and dimensions about items instead of showing their picture, but is otherwise a normal ARRAY modus. Her symbol is a rolled-up newspaper. Her CHUMHANDLE is talentTactician.