Now that Rick Pitino is looking for work, these are the best — or worst — places to land

Rick Pitino has hired an agent and you know what that means.

This is Pitino's Jack Nicholson "Here's Johnny!" moment, or maybe someone just said "Rick Pitino" three times while looking in the mirror.

This is great news, perhaps the greatest news I've heard in my 30 years of professional journalism, and I've heard some great news. Pitino is wildly entertaining, especially when he's someone else's problem, and he'll be on the warpath to reclaim his reputation.

I imagine him at his first practice, rolling out the ball and then, in his best Harry Dean Stanton "Red Dawn" voice, screaming "Boys, avenge me! Avennngggggggge me!!!"

So where will he wind up? Here's a wish list of delicious possibilities.

1. University of Pittsburgh

It isn't a top-tier job but Pitino isn't exactly a hot commodity. In fact, it seems unlikely that any top 25 school would pull the trigger, except the one that hired Kevin Stallings, of course.

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Can you imagine what it would be like to have Pitino return to the KFC Yum Center with Pitt? It would be insane. Booing? Cheering? Stone-cold silence? They're all equally likely. The only given is that he would come armed with a 20-page game plan and walk out with a 25-point win.

2. DePaul University

DePaul is just terrible, one of the most destitute programs in college basketball. Coach Dave Leitao has gone 29-65 while the once-proud Blue Demons have camped in the basement of the Big East. He isn't gone yet but his job security is nonexistent.

This scenario has a lot going for it.

DePaul is a Catholic school and Pitino is strongly Catholic (sort of, anyway). It's in the Big East, which he dearly loves. And DePaul used to rule but has been bad for a very long time, which feeds right into Pitino's ego.

He loves to rebuild programs in his own image, just as he did at the universities of Kentucky and Louisville. Plus, he'd never be more than 25 yards from a confessional.

3. Cal State Northridge

Realistically, the Big East and ACC are way above Pitino's pay-grade at this point in his scandal-ridden career, so let's head to the Big West conference and Cal State Northridge, where Pitino protege Reggie Theus was just fired after going 53-105 in five seasons.

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A Pitino clone didn't work, so why not go OG? Plus, Cal State is in Los Angeles, which is a huge bonus for a man who loves the spotlight. He'll win 30 games and install Tom Jurich as athletic director. Cal State Northridge will rule the world.

4. Los Angeles Lakers

Speaking of Los Angeles, why not a return to the NBA? Luke Walton has been mediocre and Pitino was good with the New York Knicks, although not so good with the Boston Celtics. I'm not sure that his coaching was to blame, though. You can't get a Southie's hopes up and then not deliver right away. They will cut your heart out.

And there would be a huge entertainment bonus for everyone when Pitino and Lavar Ball start clashing. Insert GIF of Michael Jackson eating popcorn here.

5. Louisville Colonels (or whatever)

What if Louisville actually got an NBA expansion franchise and Pitino returned to whip a bunch of expansion draft cast-offs like Lance Stephenson and Kosta Koufos into shape?

Wouldn't it be weirdly great to have him back in the KFC Yum Center or Freedom Hall 41 games a year? And the press conferences would be amazing, with Pitino explaining his weekly beefs with Mario Chalmers while the Colonels go 20-62.

I'd pay money to see that, although maybe not the kind of money it costs to go to an NBA game.

Jeffrey Lee Puckett: 502-582-4160; jpuckett@courierjournal.com; Twitter: @JLeePuckett. Support strong local journalism by subscribing today: www.courier-journal.com/jeffreyl.