A friend of mine seemed to perfectly summarize Contemplative. He said: “There’s…. it’s not even a joke. It’s just painfully true,” to which I laughed heartily. He’s right, though I would argue the joke is more about the wordplay with “committing” suicide and the like. I’ve told this joke on stage many times and it’s typically well-received. It might have something to do with inflection and the delivery of the joke, which admittedly is tough to convey in text.

I think it’s true, though. I would be surprised if someone claims they’ve NEVER “contemplated” suicide, because contemplation is more akin to pondering as far as I’m concerned. Everybody has to have at least thought about suicide. I think about it all the time. Not in a SERIOUS manner, but, you know, just thinking. Like “what if I didn’t do this report for work and just die instead?” Hell, I remember being eight years old and thinking, harmlessly, “what if I just jumped off this building?”

Which is why I hate being on the tops of huge buildings, or being near the edge… because what if I jump?