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My name is Greg, and I’m a “rescue human”.

I was rescued just after Christmas, 2016 by a little 5-month-old Boxer mix named Jon Snow. I used to say I rescued him, but that’s a lousy lie. The truth is, he rescued me from the depths of a smelly hell-hole called depression. I named him after the protagonist in Game of Thrones, though this puppy has little in common with that character except for this: There’s not a pretentious bone in his body. He’s pure goodness.

He’s a gorgeous brindle with a tiger stripe pattern. He has a snow white patch on his chest which he puffs out as he stands with his head held high. We think the “mix” is Great Dane, given his long lanky legs and goofy behavior, but I’m pretty sure he’s part Boxer, part 10 lbs. of sugar. He’s got big, expressive eyes, a perpetual smile on his soft face, and a relentless need to lick Every. Single. Living. Thing.

I’ve heard parents say, once you have children, your life changes. There is your “before children” life and your “after children” life. That’s what happened when I met Jon Snow. I was in the deepest depression of my life, hanging by one thin thread of hope that something could change for me. I went looking for this pup to rescue me from myself.

Aside from one or two people, I never let on about how depressed I was. It doesn’t matter why I was depressed. Depression doesn’t need reasons. Events don’t usually cause depression as much as depression causes events. It is the filter than covers your eyes so no matter what’s happening, all you see is sewage. The more sewage you see, the more the world stinks. You believe it’s like that because you think, I’M sewage, and I don’t deserve anything good. Anybody who’s ever dealt with depression knows what it’s like. It’s like stepping into a puddle and thinking you’re drowning in a sinkhole. You embellish it by blaming yourself for it. You don’t want to tell anyone because 1) it’s my fault so I deserve it, and 2) I’m not worthy of anyone’s help anyway. I deserve to suffer. My life is invalid. I’m an invalid.

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For months I wallowed in it while talking about everything else except how I was feeling. Most people had no idea I was clinging to the edge of breath by the skin of my nails. I was functioning at about 50% of my capacity, just enough to survive.

Christmas was approaching. The city was bustling with happy shiny people gathered around Christmas trees drinking spiked egg nog. All I saw was another Christmas alone. One day I scoped out a garage near the UT campus. I parked, walked up to the top level, and looked down. Is it high enough?

I wasn’t just feeling blue. I was some color that wished it was blue. Stuck on a fence. I know it’s impossible to succeed at anything until you make a full-fledged commitment to it, though I wasn’t even committed to my own life. I decided to get off the fence.

I began to pray: Please help me. Please change my thinking.

Then a starburst lit up my mind: maybe I ought to get a dog. My bestie said, “It’s impossible to be depressed with a dog around.” Here’s some good medicine: occupying my mind with something other than myself. Maybe shift my focus to being of service, to benefit somebody else.

The next day I made this announcement on FB:

I’ve decided to give up waiting to fall in love and start a family…I’m just gonna go ahead and start a family now. Beginning with a dog. I’m looking to adopt a dog, and me and my dog will be a family. I’ve been stalking the animal shelters…looking to adopt a mid-size dog, between 1 – 5 years old, who’s safe to be around children and other animals. If you know of anyone who’s looking to re-home a dog, please inbox me. Help me get my family started. Thank you.

I found him on Craigslist. He was living with a lovely family with too many dogs and too many children. Well socialized already with animals and children, but hyper-social, AKA hyper-needy. He wasn’t my first choice. He was too young, and not a pure bred. But when I walked in he bounced up to me, dripping with sweetness. He looked me dead in the eyes and sat down. He was happy and engaging. He had a certain depth and relatability that was important to me. He had personality and was beautiful. When I walked out of the yard to think it over, he followed me out, as if to say, “it’s you and me now, ok?” I got in the car and drove around the block for 30 minutes, thinking. But it wasn’t my thinking that made the decision. That had more to do with a bell ringing in my body. I went back, paid the fee and took him with me.

I should have named him “Prozac”. Within two days, the clouds lifted. I became consumed with learning how to relate to him. His unrelenting joyful enthusiasm for life spilled over into my cup. His incessant compulsion to have a blast loving on me allowed no room for cloudy skies. I didn’t have time to think about myself. I quickly watched my life turn upside down as he taught me – mostly by chewing everything that was precious to me – what he needed to be emotionally healthy. When he destroyed my altar, filled with cherished sacred objects, I realized the futility of collecting spirituality. Without a fully open & engaged heart, spirituality is just an ornament on grandma’s coffee table. My life’s purpose shifted from securing my own gains to nurturing this puppy. My job is to make sure he grows into a safe, happy dog.

More than that, it was what he did for me. Jon Snow infused my life with an uncontained joyful exuberance that I’ve never experienced before. He taught me to play, to approach the mundane of life in the true spirit of the Divine Lila. He’s also reminded me of the non-negotiable need for discipline & consistency in my life. Most of all, he became the surprising answer to a prayer I’ve been making every day for the past 10 years: Dear Creator, please send me the one who will open my heart.

With this weekly column, I’m happy to introduce Jon Snow, the Human Whisperer. Each week I’ll post a short snippet of his life and how he’s taught me to become a little bit better human being. Posts will come in sequential order mostly, beginning in late December 2016 until the present.

If you have any questions for Jon Snow about how to get through depression, or if you know somebody who’s in need of some Puppy Luv Light, please drop him a message in the inbox or follow him on social media where he runs circles around all of us. Just click, add / like / follow:https://www.facebook.com/PuppyWisdomDotCom/

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If you or someone you know is in crisis or having suicidal thoughts please reach out. You are not alone. Here are some resources.

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Photo courtesy of the author.