ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One of our town’s most experienced residents has lashed out at the ‘young bastard’ running the country, telling The Advocate that he won’t let some ‘yahoo’ tell him what he can and cannot do.

For over 70 years now, Derek Greenplow has marched to the beat of his own drum.

But the current coronavirus crisis as all but ripped the drumsticks from his sickeningly-soft hands.

“And that’s got me pissed off,” he told our reporter.

Derek spoke to The Advocate on the shores of Lake Betoota where he was walking, boogie board tucked under an arm, to the breakwater where he likes to swim.

“I’ve only just turned 70, you can’t tell me that now I’m just a few months older, I need to stay in my house? Tell you what, I’ve got a message for that young bastard Prime Minister of ours,”

“I’ve lived through recessions, wars, plagues and disasters! I know a thing or two more than you do, Sonny Jim! Now buzz off and let me live my life!”

The now-retired Mr Greenplow, who owned and ran Greenplow Ford in Betoota Heights with his two sons, Hessian and Seagull, went on to say that special rules should apply to people like him.

“I’ve worked hard every year of my whole life, besides 1968 when I pretended to be disabled to get out of going to Vietnam. Aside from that, I’ve paid my taxes and done everything the government has asked me to do,”

“Why do I have to do this?”

More to come.

