Dalia was 16 and living in a refugee camp in Lebanon when she was married. She agreed to marry a man she had only met once before because she knew her family, who had fled their home in Homs, Syria, could not survive financially unless she did so.

Now 18 with a young daughter, she regrets the decision – although, as with many girls in the same position, it wasn’t really hers to make. “I am one of five sisters and my father is a labourer,” she says. “He couldn’t afford to provide for us all, so when my husband’s family came to propose, I had to accept because I felt it was better for my family.” Her husband is 27.

Dalia’s education was interrupted when they had to leave Homs. She says: “I was in the 11th grade, expecting to go to university in two years. If it was to happen again, I wouldn’t get married at 16. I won’t let this happen to my daughter.”

Child marriage is far from unusual. According to new research from Save the Children, one girl under 15 is married every seven seconds. But it’s a problem felt more acutely by refugees: 6% of Syrian girls in Lebanon aged 12–17 are married, according to UNHCR data.

Child marriage among Syrians is not new, but the five-year war has accelerated the practice. “Our members working in the region tell us that child marriage is becoming an ever-growing problem, particularly among girls in refugee communities in Jordan, Lebanon, Iraq and Egypt,” says Lakshmi Sundaram, executive director at the charity Girls not Brides.

“For most families, marrying off daughters is a last resort and a desperate response to extreme circumstances,” Sundaram adds. “Faced with an increasingly unstable and impoverished situation, many parents believe that marriage is the only way they can ensure that their daughters are safe. However, they do not necessarily realise the violence that girls face within the context of marriage.”

The cycle of violence in which girls find themselves caught up, according to UNFPA, is horrifying. NGO workers say that many young girls think getting married sounds better to being stuck in a refugee camp tent with their family members – where, at best they will have little privacy and at worst they suffer abuse. This can come from other residents or their own family members.

But once faced with the reality of what it means to be a wife – no school, no playing, staying at home, and having to have sex and bear children – they find their young bodies and minds are not ready to cope.

During the four months that I was married he always hit me 'Zada', Syrian refugee child bride

Zada, 18, first met her husband when he came to propose. She was 16 and living in a refugee camp in Erbil, in Iraqi Kurdistan, and he was 23. Zada told the Guardian via an interpreter: “I thought that my life with him would be so beautiful, as when we were engaged he was so kind to me and he showed me love. But after marriage I discovered that everything he told me was a lie. He was having sex with other girls, he raped me many times, when he was not at home his brother would sexually harass me and when I told my husband, he did not believe me – instead he hit me. During the four months that I was married he always hit me.”

Now Zada lives with her family and can’t go outside because her husband – from whom she is now separated – has threatened her. “I can’t leave the house, I can’t work and the only thing that I want is to go back to school and am not allowed because I am under threat,” she says. United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) case workers say that, because of the trauma, Zada has twice tried to kill herself.

Nour, 18, from al-Qamishli in Syria, is also living in a refugee camp in Erbil. Two months into their marriage, Nour’s husband began to shout at her, hit her and even bite her. She had willingly entered into the marriage, thinking she would be happy.

Now separated from her husband, Nour has a baby daughter by him who was taken away from her as her parents believe she is incapable of caring for a young child. She wants a divorce, but is not allowed one. She wants an education, but is not getting one. “My family tells me that it’s shameful to be divorced,” she says. “Also they said that every man at the beginning is like that but with time he will be good and treat you well.”

Both Zada and Nour are supported by the UNFPA, which is working with the Kurdistan regional government to break the misconception that a marriage secures a girl’s future. The idea is to make sure girls can make informed choices on marriage – with opportunities for economic, social and psychological development before marriage. “We also invest in empowering the girls to say no to child marriage,” says Ramanathan Balakrishnan, UNFPA representative. “Often, girls do marry due to lack of alternative life options when they are in the camp.”



It is one of the most depressing situations I have ever seen Nagore Moran-Llovet, Plan International

But refugee girls are not the only ones affected. Plan International found that early marriage changes the culture in host countries such as Jordan and Lebanon. “The pressure to get married for, say, Jordanian adolescent girls, increases because of the Syrian refugees,” says Nagore Moran-Llovet, Plan International UK’s gender in emergencies programme officer.

“In Jordan, men from rich Arab countries come and take their pick of the girls in refugee camps. It’s believed that Syrian girls are the most beautiful ones and these men come over and see the refugee girls they like best.”

In effect, she says, the girls are made to compete with each other. “The girls tell me the men do it just to have fun. After a few months the men just leave them and the girls can’t come back to live with their families because of the shame attached, so they go into prostitution or transactional sex to survive.”

The girls picked by these wealthy visitors can be as young as 10 years old, Moran-Llovet says. “It is one of the most depressing situations I have ever seen.”

Apart from raising awareness, Plan International provide safe spaces where they help the girls continue with education. “We help the girls to go to school and provide sessions for the parents.”

Save the Children runs awareness-raising sessions to reach Syrian girls who have married early or are at risk of doing so.

“The sessions tackle the harmful impact of early marriage on girls, be that physical, psychological or social,” says Sandy Maroun from Save the Children in Lebanon, adding that married women are encouraged to share their experiences with potential child brides to persuade them to delay until they reach a reasonable age. “Children should be allowed to be children, not wives.”

All the girls’ names in this piece have been changed.

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