The ISIS gang and the boys over at Al-Q have many honed skills, but mastery of American courtroom parlance? Nope.

Fun fact: despite what the media leads you to believe, America’s greatest domestic threat lies not at the hands of local youtube-schooled Al-Q wannabes or active shooters, but at the hands of the deliciously verbose and myopic yet persistent sovereign citizens.

Who? Well, the Sovereign Cliff’s Notes read something like this:

· the federal government is bogus;

· you’re not the boss of me;

· US courts aren’t real courts because of maritime law, red ink, the Uniform Commercial Code, capital letters, flag fringes, and the Fourteenth Amendment.

Whut.

If you’re confused now, wait till you hear more. Much like a game of Whac-a-Mole, these sovereign cats just keep on keepin’ on, regardless of what rabbithole their alphabet soup-like ideology du jour renders them in. That’s a fancy way of saying they’re…inconsistent. Intense. Creative. Dedicated. But not so good with the cohesion of things. Let’s go with that.

But back to the original point: courtroom parlance. One of the sovereigns’ favorite pastimes is that of Filing Meaningless Paperwork in Court and Taking Up Everyone’s Time. This involves overly descriptive rebuttals to whichever authority figure dares to require them to follow, y’know, annoying things like laws. Pretty much anyone with a federal or state paycheck is a personal dartboard for the sovereigns: judges, police officers, DMV officials.

Let’s take a look at a few highlights from a Georgia sovereign’s recent court filing, which was a Notice to *cough* “F*ck This Court and Everything that it Stands For.” Now you may be unfamiliar with this type of Notice, so allow me to highlight some of Defendant Tamah Clark’s more poetic points:

· “You think because you sit up there in that little black robe hiding behind the ignorance of the masses like a b*tch that ANYBODY gives a d*mn about what you say?”

· “[J]ust in case you haven’t noticed — I couldn’t give two f*cks about you or what you have to say. F*ck you, old man. You’re a joke. Your court’s a joke. You take it up the a*s; and you suck nuts. Lol.”

· “This court is a hoe [sic]. And I will backhand you both[.]”

This! Now this is a woman who knows what she wants. If you’d like to learn more about Ms. Clark’s, errr, philosophy, she has graciously supplied us ignorant masses with a web site, namely:

http://tamahjadaclark.com/justice-has-come/

Justice has come, people!! Spoiler alert: via her site, you also learn that federal taxes don’t apply to you and the US has been overthrown although you don’t know it. Man, are you clueless.

For the full, vituperative and oh-so-poetic “f*ck you, old man” filing, please read here:

http://abovethelaw.com/2015/04/pro-se-filing-of-the-day-notice-to-fck-this-court-and-everything-that-it-stands-for/ S