Dad: Hello?

Me: Hi Dad.

Dad: Hi.

Me: Hey.

Dad: What’s going on?

Me: What’s going on with you?

Dad: Oh not much.

Me: You said you had gossip?

Dad: Oh, yup yup. So I went to Stop & Shop today. And I walked in and saw this woman. And I thought, ‘hey, that looks like Susanne what’s her name, but it’s not, it’s the other one. Ah…you know…ah…blond hair…’

Me: Diane?

Dad: Yeah, Diane. So anyway, it was Diane.

Me: Uh huh.

Dad: And there was this girl with her. Well, not a girl, a woman.

Me: And it was Caitlin?

Dad: Yeah!

Me: How was she?

Dad: Well, I figured it couldn’t be Caitlin because she looked about 45-years-old!

Me: But it was?

Dad: Yeah!

Me: So your gossip is that Caitlin looks like shit?

Dad: Exactly!

Me: …that’s good gossip.

Dad: Yup. Well anyway, that’s about it.

Me: OK. What are you up to tonight?

Dad: Yup. Well, I’m gonna take off.

Me: OK, bye. I’ll talk to you —

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