- YOU THINK YOU'RE MAN ENOUGHTO FIGHT ME, YOU LITTLE SHIT? - YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU'REA DRUNK PIECE OF SHIT, DAD! - YOU'RE BOTHDRUNK PIECES OF SHIT! BOTH OF YOUSIT THE FUCK DOWN! - SHUT UP!- THEY'RE NOISY! - FUCK YOU, BITCH! - YOU SON A BITCH! - THEY'RE NASTY! - YOU DONE SPILT THATON MY TITTIES, SKANK! - THEY'RE WHITE TRASH! AND WHEN YOU GIVE 'EMA LITTLE PABST BLUE RIBBON, THEY CAN'T HELPGETTING ARRESTED! TONIGHT, ON AN ALL NEW WHITE TRASH IN TROUBLE... - PABST BLUE RIBBONAND WHITE TRASH-- IT'S A DEADLY COMBINATIONTHAT CAN LEAD TO PRISON TIME AND CHILDREN BEING TAKEN AWAYFROM THEIR HOMES. THIS WHITE TRASH HOME INCOLORADO SEEMS INNOCENT ENOUGH. - HMM.[muffled] - BUT THE CHILDREN IN THIS HOMELIVE IN A WORLD OF NEGLECT. THERE'S NO HEATING,NO GROCERIES. AND IF YOU LOOK CLOSELYIN THE BACKYARD, YOU CAN EVEN MAKE OUTWHAT APPEARS TO BE A METH LAB. - HEY![muffled] - DOWN ON THE GROUND! - MOVE!- LET'S MOVE! - GET DOWN NOW!- GET DOWN! [siren] - NO!MY BABIES! DON'T TAKE MY BABIES! - YOU'RE HURTING MY ARM! - MY BABIES! - YOU'RE HURTING ME! - YOU HAVE THE RIGHTTO REMAIN SILENT. NOW PLEASE LOOK AT THE CAMERAAND SAY, "I'M WHITE TRASH ANDI'M IN TROUBLE." - I'M WHITE TRASH,AND I'M IN TROUBLE. - ALL RIGHT, GOOD.NOW GET IN THE CAR. - OH, WOW, POOR PEOPLEBEING ARRESTED. WHAT A RARE OCCURRENCE.[laughs] HEY, KENNY!KENNY, WAVE! THAT'S KENNY ABOUT TO BESENT TO A FOSTER HOME. PRETTY FUNNY. - JUST HAVE A SEAT IN THERE,KIDS. - [mocking] "JUST HAVEA SEAT IN THERE, KIDS." [car door shuts]

WILL PROBABLY BE RELEASEDFROM JAIL ON MONDAY, BUT I GUESS THE KIDS ARE GONNABE TAKEN AWAY FOR GOOD. CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES IS ABOUT TO TALK TO THEMIN THE SOFT ROOM. - THE SOFT ROOM? - YOU KNOW, THE ROOMWE HAVE SET ASIDE FOR KIDS TO FEEL SAFE IN. [door opens] - HI, KIDS,HOW YOU DOING? MY NAME'S MR. ADAMS, AND I JUST NEED TOGET SOME INFO FROM YOU. DOES THAT SOUND OKAY? - CAN I SEE MY MOMMY? - NO, SORRY. NOW, I'VE BEENLOOKING OVER YOUR FILE, AND I SEE YOU KIDSHAVE ALL BEEN HORRIBLY PHYSICALLYAND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED. OH, WHOOPS!THAT ISN'T YOUR CASE FILE. IT'S THE PENN STATE UNIVERSITY GAZETTE! [laughs] I'M JOKING.THAT'S JUST A JOKE. WE LIKE TO HAVE FUN HERE.IT IS YOUR CASE FILE. I WAS JUST ALL LIKE,"IT'S THE PENN STATE GAZETTE!" TO BE LIKE A JOKE. WE HAVE FUN. NOW LISTEN, YOU'RE GONNA BEPUT INTO A FOSTER HOME, SO I NEED TO KNOW, WOULD YOULIKE TO GO TO NEVERLAND RANCH, A CATHOLIC CHURCH,OR PENN STATE UNIVERSITY? WE'RE HAVIN' FUN HERE,AREN'T WE? I JUST--I COME UP WITH THESEAND THE GUYS-- IT'S GOOD TO LAUGH. I JUST ASKED THEM IF THEYWANTED TO GO TO NEVERLAND, A CATHOLIC CHURCH,OR PENN STATE! I'M A TRICKSTER, PEOPLE SAYI'M REALLY MEANT FOR COMEDY. HERE'S MY HEAD SHOT,JUST IN CASE YOU KNOW ANYBODY. CAN'T HURT, RIGHT?OKAY, NOW. ARE WE ALL STARTINGTO FEEL A LITTLE BIT BETTER? - [crying] - OH, COME ON NOW,HOW 'BOUT THAT SMILE? I'M GONNAGET YOU TO SMILE! I'M GONNA GET YOUTO SMILE! A PENN STATE ADMINISTRATORWALKS INTO A BAR. WHERE'S THAT SMILE? HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? JOE PATERNO DOESN'T WALKINTO A POLICE STATION. COME ON,THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

- DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING MOREABOUT WHAT HAPPENED? - DUDE, I DON'T THINK KENNY'SCOMING BACK. MY DAD SAID THOSE "CHILDPROTECTIVE SERVICES" PEOPLE ARE PRETTY SERIOUS. - WE CAN'T LET KENNYBE SENT AWAY FOREVER. THERE'S GOTTA BESOMETHING WE CAN DO! - GUYS, GUYS,I'VE BEEN WORKING ON IT, AND I THINKI HAVE SOME ANSWERS. - REALLY?- YEAH. I'VE GONE THROUGH EVERY STUDENTIN THE SCHOOL AND I'M PRETTY SURE THATNOW THAT KENNY'S GONE, THE POOR KID IS CRAIG! - THAT'S WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT? WHO'S THE POOREST KIDIN SCHOOL NOW? - PRETTY MUCHWENT THROUGH EVERYBODY. CRAIG'S GOT THE MOST--SHH!HERE HE COMES, HERE HE COMES. HEY, CRAIG, YOUR, UH-- YOUR FAMILY GET YOU THAT JACKETAT WAL-MART OR K-MART? [snickers] - WHAT ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT? - NOTHIN', DUDE.IT'S COOL, IT'S COOL. I MEAN, WE WOULD TELL YOURPARENTS TO SHOP AT NICER PLACES, BUT YOUR MAMA'S SO POOR,SHE CAN'T EVEN PAY ATTENTION! [snickers] [knocks on door] - MR. AND MRS. WEATHERHEAD, WE HAVE THE NEW FOSTER KIDSFOR YOUR CARE. - VERY GOOD.WE'LL TAKE THEM FROM HERE. CHILDREN, ENTER. WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME. BEFORE WE SHOW YOU AROUND,LET'S GET ONE THING CLEAR. THIS IS A VERY STRICT,RELIGIOUS HOUSEHOLD. AS LONG AS YOU LIVE HERE,YOU WILL BE AGNOSTIC. THESE ARE YOURFOSTER BROTHERS AND SISTERS. THEY ARE ALLSTRICT AGNOSTICS. DAVID,DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD? - I DON'T KNOW.- RIGHT! THERE ARE TWO BEDROOMS UPSTAIRS,BOYS' ROOM AND GIRLS' ROOM. YOUR CHORES ARE LISTEDON THE RESPECTIVE DOORS. FOLLOW. YOU WILL EAT ONLYAT DESIGNATED MEALTIMES. BEVERAGES YOU MAY TAKE FROMTHE REFRIGERATOR AS YOU LIKE. HOWEVER, IN THIS HOUSE, YOU WILL DRINK ONLYAGNOSTIC BEVERAGES-- DR. PEPPERAND DIET DR. PEPPER. BECAUSE WHAT FLAVOR IS IT? IT IS NEITHER ROOT BEERNOR COLA. NOBODY IS SUREWHAT FLAVOR IT IS AND NOBODY CAN BE SURE,ISN'T THAT RIGHT...MELISSA? - I DON'T KNOW.- GOOD!

- THIS IS AWESOME, BUTTERS! YOU REALLY THINKYOU GOT SOMETHING? - YEP. TO FIND OUTWHO THE POOREST KID IS, I ACTUALLY WAS ABLE TO SEEWHICH KIDS IN SCHOOL GOT THOSE COUPONSTHEY HAND OUT FOR SCHOOL LUNCH. - YEAH? - SO THENI CROSS-REFERENCED ALL THE KIDS WHO WEREON HALF-PRICE LUNCHES WITH THE TAX RECORDSOF PEOPLE IN TOWN TO SEE WHICH KID'S PARENTS ACTUALLY MADE THE LEAST AMOUNTOF MONEY LAST YEAR. - [laughs]YEAH? - WELL, ACTUALLY, ERIC,IT'S YOU. - WHAT? - NOW THAT KENNY'S GONE, YOUR HOUSEHOLD ACTUALLYHAS THE LOWEST INCOME. I'M SORRY, PAL. - OH, MY GOD. IF WE FOUND THIS OUT, IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIMEBEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE DOES. - I WON'T TELL ANYBODY. - OH, COME ON! WE'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES WHOWANTED TO LOOK INTO THIS! YOU THINK KYLE ISN'TON A COMPUTER RIGHT NOW, TRYING TO SEE WHOTHE POOREST KID IN SCHOOL IS? OH, HE IS GONNA HAVESUCH A FIELD DAY, THAT HEARTLESS JEW. WELL, I WON'TGIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION. [bell rings] ALL RIGHT,LET'S HEAR IT FOR KYLE! HE'S SO FUNNY,ISN'T HE, GUYS? WITH ALL HIS JOKESABOUT CARTMAN BEING POOR! YOU GUYS HEAR HOW POORCARTMAN'S MOM IS? HIS MAMA'S SO POOR,THE DUCKS THROW BREAD AT HER! [laughs] YEAH,THAT'S SUPER FUNNY, GUYS! LAUGH IT UP, EVERYONE! CARTMAN'S MAMA'S SO POORTHAT WHEN SHE GOES TO KFC, SHE HAS TO LICKOTHER PEOPLE'S FINGERS! HA!I BEAT YOU TO IT, KYEL! - MY NAME IS NOT "KYEL." - THAT'S KYEWL!WHATEVER, KYEL! IT MUST BE NICE HAVINGEVERYTHING YOU WANT!

- HI, SWEETIE. - [sighs] SIT DOWN, MOM.WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK. - OH, WHAT IS IT THIS TIME? - MOM,HOW ARE YOU GOING TO START BRINGING MORE MONEYINTO THIS HOUSEHOLD? - WHAT, HON? - YOU HAVE TO STARTDOING MORE, MOM. WHAT ARE YOU DOINGWITH YOUR TIME? - ERIC,I'M WORKING TWO JOBS. MOMMY'S DOINGEVERYTHING SHE CAN. - YEAH, SEE,THE PROBLEM, MOM, IS THAT WITH KENNY GONE, I'M NOWTHE POOREST KID IN SCHOOL. - WELL, WE'RE INA TOUGH ECONOMY, ERIC. I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSEYOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT. - WE'RE IN A TOUGH ECONOMY. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSEI WANT YOU TO DO ABOUT IT. LIFE ISN'T HANDED TO YOU,MOM! YOU CAN'T JUST SIT ON YOUR ASSAND EXPECT FOR MONEY TO APPEAR! - ERIC, WE AREN'T THAT MUCHPOORER THAN MOST PEOPLE. - NOT MUCH PO--? MY MAMA SO POOR, WHEN SHE HEARDABOUT THE LAST SUPPER, SHE THOUGHT SHE WASRUNNIN' OUT OF FOOD STAMPS! - OH![laughs] - IT'S NOT FUNNY, MOM! [crying] MY MAMA SO POOR,SHE WAVES AROUND A POPSICLE AND CALLS ITAIR CONDITIONING. [crying] I WISH I COULD BEPUT IN A COOL FOSTER HOME LIKE KENNY'S FAMILY.

[cow moos] - [crying] OH. OH, IT'S YOU. I WAS WONDERINGWHEN YOU'D APPEAR. YOU ALWAYS COMEWHEN I'M SAD. - YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY,KAREN. YOU HAVE TOKEEP BELIEVING THAT. - WHY DID MY MOMMYAND DADDY GO TO JAIL? - SOMETIMES...PEOPLE DO STUPID THINGS. SOMETIMES THEY DON'T REALIZEWHAT SHOULD HAVE COME FIRST, UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE. - BUT I'M ALL ALONE NOW.- YOU ARE NOT ALONE. NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? - I'LL TRY, GUARDIAN ANGEL. - DON'T TRY, KAREN.DO. - WHAT IN THE NAME OF NOBODYKNOWS ARE YOU DOING, KAREN? [cow moos]

- POLICEMAN. YES... YES. ALL RIGHT,THANKS FOR THE TIP. WE'LL CHECK IT OUT. BETTER CALL THE LIEUTENANT. LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOTANOTHER METH LAB IN TOWN. [siren] - GOT ANY NEEDLES ON YOU? ANY CRACK PIPES? - OH, MY, GOODNESS, NO. I HAVEN'T USED DRUGSIN QUITE A WHILE. - THEN WHY IS THERE A METH LABIN YOUR BACKYARD? - WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?MOM, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WERE THINGS SO BAD FOR YOUFINANCIALLY, YOU HAD TO TURN TOA LIFE OF CRIME? MY MAMA SO POOR, SHE USESCHEERIOS FOR EARRINGS. WELL, GUESS I'M OFFTO A FOSTER HOME THEN. HAWAII IS MY FIRST CHOICE. SOMETHING NOT EXACTLYON THE BEACH, BUT MAYBEJUST A SHORT WALK AWAY. IT'S GOING TO TAKE MEYEARS TO RECOVER FROM BEING TORNFROM MY MOTHER'S ARMS. ONLY THE OCEAN BREEZES ANDCOCONUT TREES CAN HELP ME NOW. - WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE LEARN TOLAY OFF THE PABST BLUE RIBBON? NOW LOOK AT THE CAMERAAND SAY, "I'M WHITE TRASHAND I'M IN TROUBLE." - OH, I'M WHITE TRASH ANDI'M IN TROUBLE.

- HI THERE, HOW YA DOING? MY NAME'S MR. ADAMS, AND I'MWITH CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES. HERE'S MY HEAD SHOT. I JUST NEED TO GETSOME INFORMATION FROM YOU, IF THAT'S OKAY.- YEAH, YEAH. - OKAY, NOW, IT SAYS HERE YOUR MOTHERWAS OPERATING A METH LAB. - THAT'S RIGHT. - AND IT ALSO SAYS HERE THAT PENN STATE PREFERS TO BELOSING AT HALFTIME... BECAUSE AT PENN STATE, THEY LIKE WHEN YOU'RE A LITTLEBEHIND IN THE LOCKER ROOM. THAT'S A JOKE.DID YOU GET THAT ONE? IT'S IS A PLAY ON WORDS.WE LIKE TO HAVE FUN HERE. - DUDE, DO YOU THINKTHIS IS FUNNY? - WE JUST--NO, WE JUSTLIKE TO HAVE FUN HERE. - WELL,I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING! BEING FROM A LOW-INCOMEHOUSEHOLD ISN'T FUNNY! AW, HELL NO! MY MAMA SO POOR, SHE OPENED A GMAIL ACCOUNTJUST SO SHE COULD EAT THE SPAM. - WHAT? WHAT, IS THAT SUPPOSEDTO BE SOME KIND OF JOKE? YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY? - A JOKE? YOU THINKBEING POOR IS A JOKE? - COULD BE WORSE.- HOW? - COULD BE IN HAPPY VALLEY! ON A SCALE FROM ONE TO TEN, HOW OLD SHOULD YOU BE TOSTAY AWAY FROM PENN STATE? - DUDE, MY MAMA SO POOR,WHEN SHE GETS MAD, SHE CAN'T AFFORD TOFLY OFF THE HANDLE SO SHE'S GOTTA GO GREYHOUNDOFF THE HANDLE! - [sighs] TWO PENN STATE ADMINISTRATORSWALK INTO A BUTT.

- HAWAII? - YEAH, THAT'S WHEREI REQUESTED TO BE SENT. - YOUR FOSTER HOMEIS HERE. PRETTY MUCHTHE EXACT OPPOSITE OF HAWAII. - WHAT? GREELEY? - COME ON, NOW! THIS IS NOT THE WAYWE'VE TOLD YOU TIDY UP. REMEMBER, CLEANLINESSIS NEXT TO GODLINESS, SO MAKE IT KIND OF CLEANBUT NOT TOO MUCH. AMANDA, MORE AMBIGUOUSON THE DUSTING! [knock on door] KENNETH, ANSWER THE DOOR. - WHAT THE-- DUDE, THIS IS, LIKE,POORER THAN MY OLD HOUSE! - WHAT THE FUCKARE YOU DOING HERE? - HELLO, ERIC. YOUR ROOMIS UPSTAIRS ON THE LEFT. ARE YOU HUNGRY?- YOU'RE MY NEW MOM? - YOU CAN CALL ME MOMIF YOU LIKE. - ALL RIGHT, MOM,HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU MAKE? LIKE GROSS YEARLY INCOMEAFTER TAXES? - THIS IS WHERE YOU'LL SLEEPWITH YOUR FOSTER BROTHERS. YOU WILL BE CLEAN, POLITE,AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU WILL FOLLOWTHE AGNOSTIC CODE! "WE CANNOT KNOW WITH CERTAINTYIF GOD OR CHRIST EXISTS. "THEY COULD. "THEN AGAIN, THERE COULD BEA GIANT REPTILIAN BIRD "IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING. "CAN WE BE CERTAINTHERE ISN'T? NO, SO IT'S POINTLESSTO TALK ABOUT." NOW SAY IT WITH ME. - GOD DAMN, I GOTTA SLEEP IN A ROOMWITH SIX OTHER PEOPLE? HOW POOR ARE WE?- HEY! WE DO NOT TAKE THE LORD'S NAMEIN VAIN IN THIS HOUSE, JUST IN CASE THERE IS ONE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND OR DO YOUNEED THE PUNISHMENT ROOM? - OH, HELL NO.MOM, DAD'S BEING MEAN TO ME! MOM! MEEEEMMM! - MY NAME IS NOT "MEEEEM."

- OH, GOD,I'M SO NERVOUS. THESE KIDSALL SEEM KIND OF MEAN. - I'LL SEE YOUAT RECESS, RIGHT? - I'LL BE THERE, KAREN. - YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN HEREA WHILE, KENNY, SO YOU HAVE TO INTRODUCE METO YOUR FRIENDS, OKAY? AND MAKE SURETHEY KNOW I'M COOL. YOU'VE GOTTAHAVE MY BACK, KENNY! - OH, HEY, KENNY.WHO'S THIS? - THIS IS ERIC CARTMAN. - DOES HE LIVE WITH YOUAT THE FOSTER HOME? - OKAY, ALL RIGHT,SO LISTEN! I KNOW OUR FAMILYIS POOR, OKAY? BUT BEFORE WE LIVED THERE, KENNYWAS ACTUALLY POORER THAN ME, SO TECHNICALLY, HE ISTHE POOREST KID AT THIS SCHOOL. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THE POOR KID IN THIS SCHOOLIS JACOB HALLERY. - REALLY?- YEAH, DUDE. HIS DAD DIEDFIVE YEARS AGO AND HIS MOM WENT CRAZYFROM DEPRESSION SO SHE CAN'T EVENKEEP A JOB. - YES! YES! DID YOU HEAR THAT, KENNY?WE'RE GOOD! I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT WE DIDN'TSTAND A CHANCE, BUT NOW... EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY! ♪ 'CAUSE I'M NOT,I'M NOT ♪ ♪ THE POOR KID AT SCHOOL LET'S HEAR ITFOR JACOB HALLERY, GUYS! HIS MAMA'S SO POOR, SHE CUTS COUPONS OUTTO BE INSTITUTIONALIZED! [laughs] ♪ GREELEY, COLORADO'STHE PLACE TO BE ♪ ♪ IT'S A WHOLE NEW BEGINNINGFOR YOU AND ME ♪ ♪ LIFE CAN ONLY GET BETTER ♪ 'CAUSE I KNOW ONESIMPLE RULE ♪ ♪ I'M NOT, HE'S NOT ♪ THE POOR KID AT SCHOOL - DID HE DO STUFF LIKE THISAT YOUR OLD SCHOOL? - UH-HUH. - LETS PUT OUR HANDS UP,EVERYONE, EXCEPT FOR JACOB. HIS MAMA'S SO POOR, SHE ONLYUNDERSTANDS HAND-OUTS. [laughs]

WE DO NOT TOLERATE STUDENTSMAKING FUN OF OTHER STUDENTS. - I WASN'TMAKING FUN OF ANYBODY. - A 20-MINUTESONG AND DANCE NUMBER WITH 47 "YO MAMA SO POOR" JOKESDIRECTED AT JACOB HALLERY, WHICH ENDED IN A FINALEWITH FIREWORKS. - I WAS JUST TEASING. - YOUR CASE WORKER HAS BEENNOTIFIED AND HE IS NOT HAPPY. - MY CASE WORKER?OH, NOT THIS GUY. - I KNOW THIS IS A DIFFICULTADJUSTMENT FOR YOU, ERIC, BUT YOU CAN'T JUSTTURN ALL YOUR FRUSTRATIONS ON A LITTLE KIDWHO CAN'T DEFEND HIMSELF. I MEAN,WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS, THE SHOWER ROOMAT PENN STATE? I'M KIDDING! WE LIKE TOHAVE FUN IN OUR DEPARTMENT. SO I WAS LIKE--I WAS LIKE, WHAT? IS THIS LIKETHE SHOWER ROOM AT PENN STATE? I JOKE AROUND.THIS IS MY HEAD SHOT. - WILL YOU STOP WITHTHE PENN STATE JOKES? ALL YOU'RE DOINGIS TAKING SOMETHING TOPICAL AND REVAMPINGOLD CATHOLIC JOKES. - OH! OH, AND "YO MAMA" JOKESARE BETTER? THEY'VE BEEN AROUNDSINCE THE '50s. - WHAT THE HELL DOES THISHAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? - PRINCIPAL! YOU GOTTA SEND HELPTO THE PLAYGROUND! THEY'RE ABOUT TO BEAT UPTHAT NEW KID! - AW, LOOK AT THE NEW KIDAND HER WITTLE DOLLY! YOU GONNA CRY SOME MOREIN CLASS, WIMP? - L-LEAVE HER ALONE. - SHUT UP! YOU FOSTER TWERPSARE ALL THE SAME. COME ON,HAND OVER THE DOLL. WHO THE HELL IS THIS? - HOW ABOUT YOU FIND ANOTHERLITTLE GIRL TO PICK ON? - MIND YOUR BUSINESS,PETER PAN! [groans] - KAREN MCCORMICKIS OFF LIMITS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? MAKE SURE EVERYBODYIN THIS SCHOOL KNOWS. [firecrackers popping]

[cow moos] - AND IF THIS FOOD COMES AS A GIFT FROMSOME DIVINE INTELLIGENCE, WE UNDERSTAND THATAN INTELLIGENT BEING CANNOT BLAME US FORQUESTIONING ITS EXISTENCE. NOBODY KNOWS,NOBODY CAN KNOW IF ANY DEITYIS WATCHING OVER US. AMEN. - EXCEPT FORKAREN'S GUARDIAN ANGEL! - WHAT? - WHERE DID HE TAKE YOUAFTER HE SAVED YOU, KAREN? - HE JUST TOOK MEBACK TO MY CLASSROOM. THEN HE DISAPPEARED,LIKE ALWAYS. - WHAT HAVE WE TOLD YOU ABOUTMAKING UP ANGEL STORIES? - BUT WE SAW HIM! HE LEAPT DOWN FROM THE SKY! - AND HE KICKED THE CRAPOUT OF JESSICA PINKERTON. - YEAH!- WE SAW HIM! - STOP IT, CHILDREN! WE DO NOT SPEAK SUCH CERTAINTIESIN THIS HOUSE! - GET DOWN TO THE BASEMENT,ALL OF YOU! IT'S TIMEFOR THE PUNISHMENT ROOM! - AAH! - NOW,DID YOU SEE AN ANGEL? - NO!NO, I DIDN'T SEE AN ANGEL! - NO! YOU CAN'T BECERTAIN OF THAT! YOU MIGHT HAVE SEEN ONE! HIT HIM WITHTHE DR. PEPPER AGAIN. - AAH! - ARE THERE SUCH THINGSAS ANGELS? - MAYBE. - GOOD.- AAH! - WHAT DO WE DO, KENNY?KENNY? - WHAT IS THE MEANINGOF LIFE? - IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW! - THAT'S RIGHT! [pounding on door] - WHO COULD THAT BE? [pounding continues] - MR. AND MRS. WEATHERHEAD, I'VE RECEIVEDSOME DISTURBING NEWS THAT ALL YOU'RE PROVIDING THEFOSTER CHILDREN HERE TO DRINK IS SODA. - [laughs] I TOLD ON YOU,MOM AND DAD! - WHAT BUSINESS IS THATOF YOURS? - IT'S MY BUSINESS BECAUSECHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES IS ACCOUNTABLEFOR THESE KIDS! HAVE I GIVEN YOU MY HEAD SHOT?- YES, YES, WE HAVE THAT. - OKAY, NOW ARE YOU ONLY GIVINGTHESE KIDS DR. PEPPER TO DRINK? - IF WE WANT TO SERVE AGNOSTICBEVERAGES IN THIS HOUSE, THEN BY GOD-ISH,WE'LL DO IT! THE CHILDREN YOU'VE SENT HEREARE UNDISCIPLINED AND TALKING ABOUTTHE CERTAINTY OF ANGELS! [crash] - EXCUSE ME? LET'S HAVE A LOOK AROUND.

- WHAT THE--WHO DID THIS? - WHAT IS THAT? IT WAS LIKE A LITTLEMYSTERY PERSON FLYING AROUND. - ALMOST LIKE SOME KIND OFAGNOSTIC ANGEL. - OH, MY GOD. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? - WE DON'T KNOW. WE CAN'T POSSIBLY KNOW. - WHAT HAVE I DONE? I TOOK YOU KIDSFROM YOUR PARENTS WITHOUT EVEN CHECKINGINTO WHERE YOU WERE GOING. I PUT INNOCENT CHILDRENINTO A DANGEROUS ENVIRONMENT! WHAT AM I, A RECRUITMENT COACHFOR PENN STATE? [crying] - [laughs] - IT'S NOT FUNNY! - THERE'S NOTHING IN THEREBUT DR. PEPPER, RIGHT? THERE CAN'T BE. - OH! - HOW DID THAT GET HERE? IT'S SAYSIT'S A PABST BLUE RIBBON. - WHAT IS IT? - IT'S LIKE BEERBUT DIFFERENT. - BUT HOW DID IT GET HERE?

[police radio chatter] - SHUT YOUR MOUTH, BITCH! - YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH,YOU DUMB FUCKING ASSHOLE! - FUCK YOU, BITCH! - YOU HAVE THE RIGHTTO REMAIN SILENT. NOW LOOK AT THE CAMERAAND SAY, "I'M WHITE TRASH ANDI'M IN TROUBLE." - I'M WHITE TRASHAND I'M IN TROUBLE! - GET IN THE CAR, YOU. - WAIT A MINUTE--I'M WHITE TRASHAND I'M IN TROUBLE? - NO, NO, TAKE ALL THESE KIDSBACK TO THEIR PARENTS. WE'VE EMBARRASSED THE SYSTEM AND MADE IT SOMETHING NOBODYWANTS TO BE A PART OF. IT'S LIKE A PENN STATEHOMECOMING PARTY. [crying] - A FALSE POLICE REPORT CAN CARRY A UP TOA TWO-MONTH PRISON TERM, SON! - I'M NOT SAYING IT. - WE CAN DO THIS THE EASY WAYOR WE CAN DO IT HARD! - I'M NOT SAYING IT! - THEN WE'LL ADD ANOTHER CHARGEFOR RESISTING! - OKAY, FINE! I'M WHITE TRASHAND I'M IN TROUBLE. - THREE ARRESTS IN JUSTONE POWER-PACKED EPISODE, PROVING ONCE AGAINTHAT WE ARE ALL JUST ONE PABST BLUE RIBBON AWAYFROM BECOMING... WHITE TRASH IN TROUBLE, SPONSORED BY SCHLITZ!