For my 20 years of life I have never understood jokes directed towards women. Jokes made at their expense. I never laughed when an ex boyfriend of mine told me that he thinks that “biologically, women shouldn’t be in positions of power” or when my dad jokes, “They’re probably a woman because they’re driving terribly”. I can’t laugh. “It’s just a joke” they say. “You’re too sensitive”, my dad says that line a lot along with saying, “You’re just like you’re mom”. I laugh then because everybody who knows us will say that my dad and I are more alike, save for his sexist ways.

“You need to be able to learn to laugh at yourself.”

“Well, what you said just now was sexist.”

“It wasn’t sexist! It was just a joke! There are jokes about guys all the time and it’s all good. You’re being a bitch.”

Oh there are jokes alright. I made a light hearted dick joke once about my boyfriend who I was sexually active with. I said to a girl, theatrically, that he had a small dick. I said this because I didn’t like somebody asking me about our sex life so I made an obvious joke. We giggled and moved on. That joke landed me in three hours of my, now ex, boyfriend yelling at me. Red faced. Voice booming. All because of one joke.

I’ll admit, its been three years since then and I wouldn’t say that joke now. It was in poor taste. But also it showed me how men take jokes. Whereas I’m expected to laugh along and if I say one small comment on it I’m already being a wet blanket. I have been told, when I sit in silence for the rest of the car ride after a joke, to smile. As if nothing happened, as if I wasn’t just insulted in all seriousness.

For my joke I had obviously seen his dick and knew I wasn’t saying the truth. For men though, either deep down or shallowly, they believe everything that they “joke” about.

If you make a joke about a gender you are making the gender itself a joke.

-AFAB, 20, Atlanta, Georiga