What, did you think I was done with just the Beta kids? There’s a reason its six days, silly!

Since there’s no comparable HOW EASY WAS THAT file for me to use as a mocking title, I’m just using it as shorthand - the players switch last names, living situations, and classes with their opposite-gendered, opposite-moon counterparts. Since their session is dead, don’t expect a TON of variety from their lands but I’ll give it a good shot. Also, this time, since there’s no frogs, everyone switches last words for their Lands.

Jane Strider - Prince of Life, Land of Crypts and Krypton

Roxy English - Page of Void, Land of Pyramids and Xenon

Dirk Crocker - Maid of Heart, Land of Tombs and Helium

Jake Lalonde - Rogue of Hope, Land of Mounds and Neon



FULL ANALYSES BELOW THE READ MORE

Jane Strider is a bit of a SURLY LASS living in the year 2424 in an ABANDONED APARTMENT COMPLEX left seemingly untouched by the arrival of the EMPRESS - all of the floors accessible to her, although she rarely goes underwater. She’s been spending her time cultivating food left behind by her POPPOP, a strangely heroic figure who is only mentioned in the history books performing one act and then disappearing from the record - SLAYING THE EMPRESS. However, his arrival on the Earth was too late to prevent the catastrophic environmental meltdown that she had caused, leading to JANE’S current living conditions. Jane is very concerned about survival, more than anything else, making sure she has her DAILY CALORIC INTAKE set and MACRONUTRIENTS perfected, spending most of her waking moments preparing and TRAINING for the game. When she’s not GETTING RIPPED, she tends to her carnivorous plants like they’re her pride and joy, especially AUBREY II, who she named after a childhood memory of her favorite VHS tape. She is rather effortlessly pragmatic, but sometimes this tendency can hurt her friends in the wake of her careless behavior, or backfire intensely.

Her LAND is the LAND OF CRYPTS AND KRYPTON, a murky swamp flooded with TOXIC KRYPTON GAS that requires special equipment to navigate. The further down in its ENDLESS CAVES she ventures, solving puzzles, the thicker it gets, but the more puzzles she solves, the more the planet slowly comes to life, revealing a massive system of vents and pipes blocked off by her Denizen, PERSEPHONE, years ago in the GREAT EXTINCTION.

Her Strife Specibus is allocated to the GRPLHOOKKIND and she uses the RECIPE MODUS, courtesy of her POPPOP’S WELL-HIDDEN GIFTS, to prepare for the game even further. Her symbol is a venus flytrap. Her CHUMHANDLE is tiamatsTower.

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Roxy English is a COOL and GOOD lass living on an ABANDONED ISLAND RESORT once owned by her COOL PHILOSOPHER MOM, a lady who seemed to be strangely well prepared for the coming storm that incites her daughter into SBURB. Roxy is, as the saying goes, SPOILED ROTTEN - Everything she could ever want is on this abandoned resort, including a transportalizer with plenty of uranium, which may or may not get her in trouble at some point. By the grace of a couple of seedlings sent back by Jane with the intent to teach her how to garden (supposedly), the island has been quickly overrun with hungry, dangerous, and well-disguised carnivorous plants, BREAKING ROXY’S LUXURY LIFESTYLE. When she enters the game, she quickly realizes that she has NOTHING of her own, and quickly strikes out to remedy that situation, which gets her into more of her fair share of trouble. Her interests…? She likes to RELAX ON THE BEACH sometimes, she guesses!

Her LAND is the LAND OF PYRAMIDS AND XENON, a strangely constructed land that appears to have rivers of XENON TUBES “flowing” through squared off BISMUTH-LIKE PYRAMID CAVES, giving the planet an odd, jaggedy feeling, while the actual presence of pyramids are few and far between. The most unusual feature about the land is how the stones SWALLOW THE LIGHT, leaving her flying blind until she realizes how to EMBRACE THE VOID and find her way to her Denizen, EREBUS.

Her Strife Specibus is allocated to FISTKIND because she never remembers to allocate it to anything else, and she uses the WALLET MODUS. Her symbol is a clamshell. Her CHUMHANDLE is gallantTeetotaler.

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Dirk Crocker lives in a lovely little tidy home in Washington, where everything is tended to by his obsessive-compulsive BROTHER, scheduling his entire day down to the minute, leaving Dirk to develop a pinpoint sense of timing and accuracy, along with a minor skill in throwing objects to help him clean up better by throwing shit in the trash. Due to the stifling influence of his brother, an heir to the vast Crockercorp company, Dirk has had little time to develop a personality of his own, instead paraded about as the up-and-coming face of the company in bright red outfits and garish smiles. Dirk DOESN’T EXACTLY LIKE IT but he DOESN’T KNOW ANY OTHER WAY TO LIVE, and his interests are his brother’s interests - steampunk and orchestral music. When he enters the game, he begins to fully discover who he is - PUNK ROCK AS SHIT.

His LAND is the LAND OF TOMBS AND HELIUM, a shattered land broken into thousands if not millions of pieces, floating on the helium breeze and twirling around the core’s IMMENSE GRAVITY. The only issue besides the obvious is MAKING YOUR WAY DOWN, as EROS constantly produces new HELIUM, causing it to accumulate at the thinner, lower layers, making traversal ever-difficult. Only by solving the HOVERTOMB PUZZLES and maybe learning a bit about himself in the process can he send the TOMBS into the CORE as projectiles, to weaken EROS’s grip on the planet’s winds.

His Strife Specibus is allocated to THRWDARTKIND, and he uses the same SCHEDULE MODUS that his brother uses since it lets him keep track of his time slots. His symbol is a SPOON. His CHUMHANDLE is gumballGiant.

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Jake Lalonde lives in the year 2424 on a CARAPACIAN CITY, left to prosper and rot after the DEATH OF THE EMPRESS. He acts as a STORYKEEPER and HISTORIAN, a task he takes to with great gusto, even if the CARAPACIANS cannot understand him - that’s why he’s spent years honing his abilities at CHARADES and PICTIONARY to a degree that renders communication between the two species possible. His artistic skill is considerable, and he is quite well read, although he has difficulty avoiding casual causal spoilers with Dirk and Roxy, considering that his GRANDMA’S LIBRARY contains THE SUM TOTAL OF ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY, mostly in book form, but sometimes in audiotapes and CDs. Unintentionally as it may be, he has developed a small CULT OF PERSONALITY around him, and is considered to be a great friend to the CARAPACIANS, even as the dreaded CARAPACE ROT slowly takes their livelihood, and he provides them comfort and funerary rites in their last days. Oftentimes, he is plagued with thoughts as to whether or not he deserves the right to essentially form a religion for these CARAPACIANS, considering his negative view of it as a whole due to his history books teaching him that, for the most part, nothing good has come of it. It is an issue he struggles with frequently, even when he enters the game, a balance between the harsh truth or a comforting lie.

His Land is the LAND OF MOUNDS AND NEON, containing the REMAINS OF RUINS, rectangular, neon-lined stones arranged artistically in the planet’s death throes to create gigantic, planet-sweeping Weird Puzzle Shit, almost like an ARG or GEOCACHE. Underneath EVERY STONE is a SMALL, MINIATURE GRAVESITE, dedicated to dozens if not hundreds of CONSORTS at a time. His Denizen, ZEUS, sleeps fitifully underneath the ground, the path forward seemingly nonexistent.

His Strife Specibus is allocated to HAMMERKIND as the result of allocating a crucifix, which surprisingly took, and he uses the OUIJA MODUS with surprising skill and accuracy. His symbol is a 5-petaled flower, originally drawn by a Carapacian for him as a gift that he then got more professionally printed onto a shirt. His CHUMHANDLE is taleGenerator.