“Oh god it gives me such a RUSH,” stated McGuire as he lobbed a tomato at the figure of Harriet Stewart who was standing out in her garden. “Firing these dumb bastards is more fun than making money on the stock market. It’s like the rush you get when you ALLEGEDLY create a scheme to backdate stock options so they look as though they were made on days when the stock value is lower. It just makes me into a little rum-tum-tugger.”

According to insider sources, McGuire demanded a list of all the employees that were most vulnerable to this economic collapse and social pandemic before rubbing the paper all over his body and stating, “oh yeah.”

He then wrote a terse email to the employees in question, launched his helicopter and proceeded to each of their houses to personally insult them and pelt them with fruit.

“OH YES,” stated a manic McGuire with a light in his eyes reminiscent of the time he defrauded UnitedHealth stockholders. “Oh GOD YES! FIRE THEM ALL… FIRE… THEM…. ALLL.”

The Nutmeg News will have more as McGuire takes to knocking on the doors of the employees and coughing in their face.