Forging your path as a provider

Something interesting happened during my last trip to Washington, DC this past May.

I had a session scheduled with a client I had seen once before, also in DC. He had been in touch with me to coordinate schedules; I had arranged my DC tour dates and hotel location to accommodate him. He seemed extremely eager to see me, especially as I’d had to postpone the trip a few weeks because of illness.

And then, the morning of the date, as I sped toward DC on an Amtrak train, he cancelled.

Then he made an interesting comment: “I’m sure I’ll see you the next time you are in DC.”

It’s a telling remark. It shows that he viewed me as a constant — a provider who would always have the time, money and energy to tour DC. And the desire to see him again, as well.

Hmm. Really? You sure about that, now-blacklisted-client?

Providers are people and just like anyone else, our decision-making is heavily based on emotion and gut feelings.

For example, in the vanilla world, if you work on a project where you’re constantly having to re-do a team member’s work and bickering with the project manager, even if the project is well-received in the end, you’re going to have negative associations with that project. You may be more hesitant to take on a similar project in the future. The facts matter much less than your gut feeling.

Providers are the same way. Something can look great on paper, but it doesn’t matter. If something makes us feel terrible, we’re probably not going to do it again. At the end of the day, we’re the ones pouring ourselves into this work. Our feet slip into stilettos; our hands softly knock on hotel doors; our mouths curve into bright smiles at 8am or 10am or 3am. It’s us. Our business is us. And if you make us feel shitty — we are going to walk away. From you. Maybe from your entire city.

(That’s not to say I’m avoiding DC entirely. On the contrary, I’m not ready to give it up. Rather, I’m moving toward a “sponsor a tour” model for all cities outside NYC, where quality suitors (you know who you are!) can schedule a 3+ hour date, cover just a portion of my travel fees, pay at least 50% in advance, and I’ll schedule a tour around you. It’s simple, and it means that you can see me when you want to see me, rather than trying to fit into a hectic touring schedule with a zillion moving parts.)