‘Onion Too Dangerous’ Says Shop That Has Dedicated Chainsaw Section

A warehouse chain that has an entire section devoted to chainsaws, compound mitre saws and jackhammers, has warned its customers about the potential dangers of cooked slices of onion.

“We wouldn’t want people to slip and roll their ankle,” said a spokesperson from the store that stocks machinery designed to dismantle brick walls.

Walking through the jigsaw, power drill and nail gun section, the spokesperson said onion became slippery when it fell on a concrete floor. He then recommended a product that could remove the onion grease, as well as one that could remove the concrete floor.

Onions can now be found underneath sausages. Industrial leaf blowers can be found under angle grinders, next to hedge trimmers.

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