Nobody freak out. Everybody stay calm! BlackBerriers (or whatever we call BB groupies), you may want to sit down for a moment. I have some bad news. Really bad. No one is buying the BlackBerry Z10.

The Z10, which was supposed to mark a triumphant return for the struggling Canadian smartphone maker, is getting deep price cuts in many stores. Yep, after only four months on the market, its price has already been cut in half if you buy it from carriers like Verizon and AT&T, and outside retailers like Amazon, Best Buy, and others are selling it for cheaper still. It’s sometimes $50 or free (sometimes $0.01) with a two-year deal. Phones always have a shorter lifespan than other electronics, but for the first BlackBerry 10 device and flagship BlackBerry phone to see such steep discounts this quickly, it cannot be selling well. Things are not good.

BlackBerry isn’t going to recover from its declining popularity as fast as it hoped. The Z10 is a great phone, but it’s not wowing anyone. It isn’t attracting new people to BlackBerry and current BB fans are so hardcore, they just want their damn QWERTY keyboard; they’re buying the old-looking Q10. So what can BB do?

Millions of people had to break up with BlackBerry, and a lot of them still aren’t happy about it.

Getting a person to switch platforms isn’t easy. Unlike me, it’s not everyone’s job to try out crappy new gadgets every day. Most people want their phone to work, and get shit done. They don’t want to relearn how to use their phone – even if it’s a lot better. It’s a tough sell to get someone to leave their phone platform, abandon all their apps, dump their phone, and start a relationship with a new OS. Whenever someone converts, they’re doing that platform a big favor.

This is why BB can’t just Pretty Pretty Princess itself to the top. It’s already pissed off a bunch of people. It let itself go for years, forcing even die hard fans to give up on its lazy, out-of-shape, unmotivated ass. It blamed its problems on others and put off its fresh start as long as it could.

Millions of people had to break up with BlackBerry, and a lot of them still aren’t happy about it. They didn’t want to move to Android or iPhone, but they had no choice. You can’t live with a slacker forever. Now, all of BlackBerry’s exes are giving it a bum rap. Even though it’s trying to start fresh and is a completely new OS with a great attitude, everyone sees it as a has been. Even prospective dates are steering clear.

Things won’t turn around overnight, either. Poor Nokia has been dancing by itself for years. Same problem. When people think you’re old news, it’s hard to convince them otherwise. Starting over is never easy.

We all like to tear a company down, but we also love a good comeback story. BlackBerry needs to enter act three of this movie. It needs a montage and some hella dance moves.

Words of advice: BlackBerry, keep your head up. Be positive. Show everyone why you deserve a second chance. Use your business strengths to your advantage. Poke fun at yourself. Deliver on your promises. BB fans, you’re holding your own platform back. Try out BB10 and give it a shot. If you don’t, no one will. And everyone else, get out there and try something new! New experiences can be good and maybe a BB10 phone would work better than what you’ve got. You never know.

Things aren’t good, but a comeback isn’t out of reach. BlackBerry is doing almost everything right. A good overhaul of its advertising campaign coupled with some kickass – not good, not great … kickass – devices, and we might find ourselves hitched to a Canadian once again.

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