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How to find “the one” for you • How to disentangle yourself from a bad romance • 7 words that can keep you from wrecking your life • How self – reliance lets you choose a life mate on your terms • The difference between friends and acquaintances • Why mood-levelers are poison • How to enjoy your own company • How to enjoy dining alone • Commie words never to use at the TNS Dojo • Listen to this episode and you may never feel lonely again!

Late August is usually the summer doldrums, right? The world is on vacation or passed out from too much PBR at the BBQ. Not so the TNS Dojo. We relentlessly soldier on to help you kick ass and take names. Hence, you may notice a small but potent adjustment to the show’s intro, at about 12 seconds in. Some chick intones, “Larry. F#*king Larry.” Who is she? What do her words mean? Does she recline like some opium den odalisque, sloe-eyed, satiated and spent after another salacious escapade with me in the XXX theater of her mind? Is she keening for another episode after binge-listening for an entire day of her life? Does she wonder where on God’s earth she can acquire a Larry of her very own to have, hold, ravish and enthrall?

Or do her orbs narrow in fury at the descriptor pointy and the hideously inappropriate (that’s one of the Commie words!), interview with Ting-Ting, Kim Jung Un’s personal hooker from Episode 39 (now available in this shocking video)? Are her 3-words a threat, redolent with vitriol and malice? Does she dial N.O.W. and put TLS at the top of their sh*t list?

I want to know. For she is the new Mona Lisa. (Who gives a crap about the old Mona Lisa? Why did Da Vinci waste paint and brush strokes on her?) In the XXX theater of my mind, the chick voicing those three words is pointy to the power of 10. And then some.

Her audio clip was sent to us by Ronnie Fox, listener and Patreon extraordinaire. Thank you, Ronnie. And as badly as I want to ID her (and more) I beseech you not to reveal her visage to me, for no woman could possibly rival the fantasy.

I’ve also smoothed out the loop of the Zombies in the intro. Listener Jesse D. said it bugged him and it’s been bugging me since December of ’16.

Now to the matter of this episode. It’s fueled by emails from listeners. One is lonely and one wishes he was, as he tries to unload an ex-girlfriend/current roomie. Why hasn’t some Zuckerberg wonk come up with a way for people to just trade miseries? Maybe call it Tinder 2.0 or… Cinder, for when Tinder spawned romances go down in flames.

More bad decisions are made out of loneliness than alcohol-fueled rage and lust. At least after those bad decisions, one can hold his head high and indignantly say… I was loaded. Which seems easier than saying… I was lonely. But lonely we are. All of us. Sometimes. A lot of the time. Most of the time.

While there is no blanket cure or preventative for loneliness, there are many palliatives. What are they? You’ll have to listen.

And when your cup runneth over with the soured milk of a spoiled relationship, and you long for blissful solitude, how to you get some? We’ve got a plan for you. Just listen.

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Do we have all the answers?

Listen.