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Pope Michael Comes To Aid Of Deposed Nigerian Prince; Transfers “Sum of USD 5 Millions”

Belvue, KS––Speaking from his porcelain throne yesterday, Pope Michael announced to those gathered in the papal living room that, as sign of unity between the Church and the great people of Nigeria, he would be transferring the “sum of USD 5 millions” to an anonymous deposed Nigerian Prince. Citing an email he received just days prior, Pope Michael told those gathered that his heart went out to the Nigerian prince, and to all the royalty suffering in the world. “I’ve received many of these emails in the past few months. This seems like an all too familiar issue, and it’s time that it’s addressed.” Michael went on to criticize “the so-called Pope in Rome” for his inaction and hypocrisy in such issues. “He tells the world to live modestly, but a Christian is called to live modestly by his own free will, not by being forced, as is in this case where the heavy hand of government officials who set up companies and awarded themselves contracts which are grossly over-invoiced in various ministries, or something like that,” he said, trying to make sense of the email. At press time, Michael has directed Secretary of State Mom to please acknowledge the receipt of the email and to await detailed information of the pending project as instructed.