So as many of you know, I’ve been doing some pretty illicit things with Manuel Ferrara on a pretty illicit basis, whatever that may mean—the part about the illicit basis. It sounds nice, that pairing of words.

Dating him and living with him has not helped slow this down.

And as many others know, I’ve been all outspoken about this condom thing for a while now. Which has become ironic.

Because, as everyone knows, Manuel Ferrara is a major slut.

I figured I had two options: a very long blog or a very short blog. Because there are not in-between sized blogs that would do justice for an announcement like this. So I’ll just put it out there and let ya’ll know that there is a baby on the way.

We’re having a girl.

And this kid’s timing kind of screwed up my hosting of the Sex Awards, so I’d like to congratulate the new host, whoever she may be, on her better ability to keep her legs closed.

Kidding.

And we can pretty much assume my attendance of the AVN awards is off, because I’ll sort of be in labor that night, or thereabouts.

I’m on someone else’s schedule now.