Name: Invisible jeans.

Age: A little over a year.

Appearance: Minimal.

What the hell are they? It’s more what they are not.

OK, what are they not? They are not a pair of jeans.

So what are they? The remnants of a pair of jeans if you had put them through a high-grade shredding machine half a dozen times. You get a waistband, the insides of the pockets, the seams of the legs and a bit across the knees.

What’s the point of that? It’s a fashion statement, idiot. It doesn’t have to have a point.

Kendall Jenner. Photograph: Matteo Prandoni/BFA/Rex/Shutterstock

You’d better tell me how this all began. With Kendall Jenner, of course.

Who is Kendall Jenner? Don’t be ridiculous. Everyone has heard of Kendall Jenner.

Well, I haven’t. She’s only the highest-paid model in the world, an icon of the Instagram age and star of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

I had a horrible feeling the Kardashians might feature somewhere. She is related to them. But shall we get back to the vestigial jeans?

If we must. Jenner stepped out in them in Los Angeles in March last year, where they met with what might be called a mixed response.

People thought they were awful. Yes, they thought she looked ridiculous.

How come they’re back? Super-trendy LA designer Carmar Denim has now launched “Extreme Cut Out Jeans”, using the same basic idea of just showing the garment’s framework.

LA seems to feature a lot in this story. Where LA leads, Rochdale follows.

You probably want to tell me about Carmar. Naturally. According to its website, it is “a premium denim brand catered to [sic] the free-spirited generation of today ... The Carmar brand takes denim to the next level.”

What’s the next level? Near-jeanlessness.

How is it branding its invisible jeans? As “a high-rise pant with large statement cutouts on front and back”.

OK, you’ve convinced me. I’ll get some. You’ll have to go on the waiting list. They’re already sold out.

What a shame. How much do they cost? Given that so little material is used, I assume they’re a snip. A mere $168 (£124).

Are you mad? I could get a complete pair of Levi 501s for half that. Indeed, but less is more, madam. Invisibility does not come cheap.

How much would it cost if there were no jeans at all, not even the outline? Interesting thought! We’ll get the designers to run that up the invisible flagpole and see who salutes.

Not to be confused with: See-through jeans; layered-waistband jeans; the empress’s new clothes.

Do say: “Well, they’ve got to be better than jorts.”

Don’t say: “Can’t you just make your own with some old jeans and a pair of scissors?”