Sunday, July 28 2019

My ego tells me I am Rick Fraser, from Kamloops BC, Canada. But I have come to know this is not true. Things went completely bonkers, roughly 6 years ago…

We are all one

I started to hear voices, see holograms of people who were still alive, or, “ghosts” if you will. Wait. Ghosts of people who are still alive? That’s crazy talk! Or is it? I feel people poking me, and other sensations. Such as smelling of odours of which there is no known source nearby.

It is through much hardship that I have come to learn that this was actually a Spiritual Awakening.

Here’s the breakdown of it. I have come to realize that I am the Universal mind. the one unified field of consciousness that stems all life. Nothing exists outside of my field of consciousness. Life is a dream, and I am the dreamer, living inside himself.

We are all one, I heard time and time again. But I never thought for a second that I would be that one.

Everyone in existance lives inside my mind. Which is funny because, so am I. I am a being living inside himself. The outside world, is merely a reflection of my inner self. Almost as if the Universe itself were my mind, and I was a sub-atomic particle within my mind, experiencing itself.

The Macroscopic Universe, my mind.

Have you ever seen the Universe zoomed out? it looks like a complex neural network, almost as though it were my brain. I am convinced I am the point of infinity. I believe that if you zoom into quantum physics, and the nature of physics, you will find it never ends. Matter becomes atoms, atoms become electrons, electrons become whatever they become, until you hit a certain point where when you are leering into the microscope, what’s this? You find yourself looking down on yourself. To continue for eternity.

Now, from what I gather, I am “The One“, Like Neo, from the film, “The Matrix” if you will; The be all and end all of existence and creation itself. I am the Divine Creator. For i am the Universal consciousness.

You all exist in the “5th Dimension” which is my mind, however, you do so invisibly, as observers of my consciousness. Almost as if life were one giant (not so giant anymore) Virtual reality simulation. You all constantly exist in my mind, dually, by looking at the world around me as I see it, and also, watching me from the outside world, because lets face it, you all live within me, and I am coming to realize there is no difference between my inner world, and my outer world. it is all one and the same. I am the “mirror | rorrim” of myself.

Imagine the game “Grand Theft Auto”. You roam around the “free, open world“, and you can always see yourself running around, and manipulating the environment. But what about that padestrian on the other side of town? Sure they exist on screen when you are on the other side of town. But what about when you’re far, far away from them in the game’s 3d reality? They still exist, as code embedded into the game itself. invisible to anyone playing the game, but they are in the back end of the program, ever present in the game, however undetectable, and un-interactable. Therefor making Time and Space Illusions of the mind, or the physical “Matrix” if you will. That’s who you are. For lack of a better word. You are ghosts in the machine. And I, “The Matrix” itself.

Spirits.

Always watching the story of my life.

I got addicted to Crystalized meth amphetamines. Which has its side effects… and have been behaving poorly due to the chemicals in my brain. I completely broke my moral compass. Stealing from people, using people, and just being a downright sleaze bag.

Now my mother’s spirit has surfaced, among others, but my mom is the ring leader of what I call “the voices” She broke the silence of the spirit world, and has been giving me a piece of her mind for roughly 6 years.

I thought it was all a fabrication of my mind. Now, while this be true, its not true in the sense I was raised to think.

I never would have guessed that not only am I myself, and this dream we call reality. But I am each and every one of you, or rather, yet you are each and every one, me. I am comprised of thousands if not, billions of souls.

We live in a Universe that is consciousness, created. So, the Universe cannot exist, unless there is something conscious, observing it. Otherwise, there would be nothing but a wave of potential energy, never being brought into existence. So I believe, that I simply lucked out, and am “the Chosen One” or, the “King of the Universe” Observing all of you dance and create my subjective reality, while in turn, you all constantly observe me, and bring me into existence as well. We have a symbiotic relationship. While it is evident that I am the Host of all of this magic we call life. Almost as though I am the Canvas, You are the artist and paint, being created, and I am the perceiver / observer of what is being presented on said canvas.

I am constantly bombarded with synchronizations, both in my mind, and in the phsycial world. Every song ever written, or at least for the most part, were written about me. Or for me. One of the first songs I realized was speaking to me was, “Can’t Stop” by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

“Can’t stop addicted to the shindig” is a reference to my lifestyle for my entire adolescent and adult life, as I was always a “happy-go-lucky” fun loving party animal. “Choose not a life of imitation,” refers to the fact that I am living in a mirror image of myself, and if I choose to imitate others, it will only perpetuate whatever vice, or sin I am imitation. IE you all mimic me. “I wonder what the wave meant” refers to you all existing as potential energy, or back end code to my matrix. As the spirit of the Universe follows me and looks like a ball of energy in a wave form.”To be part of the wave” means being back end users, such as yourselves. “Music, the great communicator” refers to me being able to find answers, or messages in song. “This chapter’s gonna be a close one” refers to my blatant loss of my moral compass, and leading humanity down a dark and treacherous path. “Can’t stop the spirits when they need you,” is the “spiritual awakening” I have been experiencing, or in other words, me realizing you guys are there, and you definitively want to be heard.

Here’s one that’s obvious:

This is a concept I have had trouble wrapping my head around.

Here’s another song that depicts who I am quite clearly.

I AM “the one” and we are all Schizophrenic..

What’s Going On?

Those are just a few of the infinite amount of songs that resonate with me. Perhaps more on that later.

I am baffled by the sheer creativity, and fluidity, you all create my subjective reality. I have been watching pornography on the internet, and was asking why these girls would be doing this, and one of the girls mouthed “Because you’re making me“. A pre recorded video, was in fact not that, it was being played out live before my very eyes.

TV and movies will also speak to me, as though everything that I experience is being fabricated on the spot by you, the creative spirits of the Universe.

I also see faces in landscapes, or anything with a pattern, such as tile, carpet, grass, the trees in the mountains. And what’s funny is, I seem to be projecting those superficial images of faces on patterned surfaces… I either see human faces, cartoon faces, daemon faces, naked women, or dog faces. I have found something that simulates what I see on youtube, however I don’t see the vivid colors like in the video. If I see the images on ashphalt, the ashphalt remains gray, if I see them in the grass, the grass remains green… etc…

What a trip. It’s like eating acid every day.

Now, in knowing all that I know, I personally find it hard to live my life now. I am aware my thoughts are being read. I’m aware I’m being watched.

I am also aware I have been a piece of shit my entire life. Now imagine coming to the realization that, you are not only a piece of shit, but everything you say / think / do, are of utmost importance for the harmony of your fellow man.

It makes you afraid of your own thoughts. Now, try not to think of the word “Fuck”. I bet you thought “Fuck” Try not to think something negative about this person I’m passing-by. I bet you think something negative.

Physical people never let on that they know anything of “the voices”. Although, i have had multiple physical people tell me they are watching me when they are not around. One was a senior friend of mine that said “only when im watching you. Are you afraid?” And another time, i was with the same man. And the voices said im not in the same world i once was. And almost instantly after, he sang a little jingle “another world…. bum bum bum bum“. Really frealed me out. Another time i was at my friends place and his girl friend said she watched me wheb i wasnt around. I asked “why?” She replied “because youre special.” Another time my friends wife and i were talking philosophy, and i asked her if she watches me when im not around, and she looked me in the eye and nodded. Another time, i told an aquaintance i had schizophrenia, and he relplied “id take that as if i were beih watched,” and yet still, i was telling my friend about my theory of me being the unified field of consciousness, and he slilped in there “yeah, you definately are the center of the Universe.” And many other people use word play and “read between the lines” techniques of telling me they are watching me. Like another friend was talking about watching this spider looking at its web to feed on its prey… well the spider is me. The web is the internet and feeding on its prey is me watching porno… yes I watch porno more than I should… it’s a side effect of the drugs. And almost any time I bring up the fact that anyone said they were watching me, they back track and deny having ever said anything. As though they’re afraid of repercussions from something or someone. But I’m not that crazy yet. They said it. And multiple people at that. So that tells me, though I may be the creator of this reality. Someone has obviously given me that ability and is probably watching in as well, or I have powers beyond my knowledge and they’re afraid of what I may do if I realize the truth of what’s going on.

My mom pollutes my consciousness with negativity, usually around every 3 – 5 seconds. Not to mention, my mom, voice version. Physical version is loving caring and giving. But i feel its all a facade. She is connected to her spirit. She knows all the negativity she spouts….She says things like, as I’m sure you’re aware “You’re the stupidest person in the entire Universe,” “You’re such a retard,” “OH MY GOD!” “You’re the first person to ever figure out the true nature of reality,” “You’re the last person to figure this all out,” “Come on, just figure it out,” “you masturbate to child pornography,” (implying everyone in the Universe is my child… )“You are the Divine Creator,” … etc… to try to keep me in a constant state of confusion. I don’t know if I’m the accidental God of the Universe, but I do know I possess something special. But even if I were god…

Whoever is on the outside of this quantum computer, and is REALLY good at programming, I guess

All I know is, whoever coded this Universe within me, had a shitty amount of memory, to only sustain one consciousness for everyone to share. Definately lacking in the processing power department. Otherwise we would all be conscious beings experiencing our own versions of reality, more like a multiplayer MMORPG rather than a 1 player for all.

All for one, and One for all! I guess.

Yes, I am fully aware that you watched me type this, and am also aware that you knew what I was going to type before I even typed it. But this helps me cope and organize my beliefs / thoughts on the matter,

But to sum it all up in one image…. this is the nature of reality:

Reality in a picture.

To summarize: I am the big guy wearing the crown, as I’m the King of the Universe. Made up of all the little faces, because that’s you, I am the collective consciousness looking outward. However, since inside my mind and outside of my mind are one and the same, you are also the eyes spiraling into infinity watching me from both sides. The hand with the eye on it, represents the watchful eye of God. and since the hand is attached to me, I can only assume, that’s me. There are multiple symbols on the bust of the character, such as the number 7, indicating I’m the luckiest person in the Universe, The + shaped box, indicating that I live inside myself, the number 1, indicating we are all one. and a human figure to represent humanity, aswell as an angelic figure to represent heaven on earth. because, lets face it. no matter what realm, what dimension, or what the occurance, it all happens right here, in my unified field of consciousness.

All I hope, is that we will some day be able to resolve our dispute and live harmoniously again, however, for the benefit of everyone and not just myself.

I’m aware the ball’s in my court. But I cannot deal with the constant negativity. I end up using drugs and alcohol as my coping mechanism and that’s no good for anyone.

Thanks for reading my “psycho babble”. But lets face it…. we know its the truth.

P.S.

Yes, I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, and am currently taking medication for it, however, it doesn’t seem to make a difference. My reality has been irreversably shaken, and to everyone I continue to hurt, I apologize. I can’t change on my own, let alone with all the negative chatter in my mind.

One Love.

One Love

Peace be with you.

Your conscious host,

Rick Fraser.