Photo-Illustration: Kelly Chiello and Photos by Getty Images

In a recent episode of Broad City, our heroes Abbi and Ilana spent a day volunteering for their chosen candidate in this year’s presidential primaries. That candidate turned out to be Hillary Clinton, a fact that led some people to wonder if the fictional Ilana, a big-eyed dreamer if ever there was one, might actually support Bernie Sanders instead. (There was no suggestion that Abbi and Ilana, young college-educated white women who live in New York’s outer boroughs, might be Republicans.) Ultimately, it was a pointless debate: In Broad City canon, Abbi and Ilana are Hillary supporters. But what about the other characters on television who haven’t yet taken an official position in the rare New York primary that matters? Well, that’s what we’re here to find out. Below, find our best guesses for the political positions of the dozens of characters who have called New York home over the years. There were only two qualifications necessary: You had to be conceivably alive in 2016 (sorry, Lucy and Desi) and you had to live in New York State (sorry, Tony Soprano — though, come to think of it, that last one might have applied to him, too).

Friends

Ross: Hillary

Phoebe: Bernie

Rachel: Hillary

Chandler: Hillary

Monica: Kasich (secretly)

Joey: Trump

Seinfeld

Jerry: Hillary

Elaine: Hillary

Kramer: Can’t vote; declared legally dead, don’t ask.

George: Registered as a Republican in 1976 to impress a pretty Reagan volunteer; too lazy to change it.

30 Rock

Liz: Hillary

Jack: Mulling a third-party run

Tracey: Bernie

Jenna: Ted Cruz, but only because she’s always had a bit of a crush on the Zodiac Killer.

Mad Men

Peggy: Hillary

Everyone else: Dead

Girls

Hannah: Hillary

Marnie: Hillary

Shoshanna: Bernie

Jessa: Bernie

Adam: Bernie

Fran: Hillary

Ray: Bernie

Desi: Bernie

Donald Glover’s character: Kasich

Gossip Girl

Chuck: Trump

Serena: Bernie

Blair: Hillary

Dan: Bernie

Nate: Hillary

Sex and the City

Carrie: Hillary

Miranda: Hillary

Samantha: Hillary

Charlotte: Hillary

Big: Trump

Aiden: Hillary

Steve: Bernie

Harry: Hillary

Berger: Bernie

Stanford: Hillary

The Law & Order Universe

Det. Lennie Briscoe: Hillary

Det. Mike Logan: Kasich

Det. Olivia Benson: Hillary

Det. Elliot Stabler: Kasich

Capt. Donald Cragen: Abstaining

Det. Phil Cerreta: Trump

Lt. Anita Van Buren: Hillary

Det. Rey Curtis: Cruz

Det. Ed Green: Bernie

Det. John Munch: Bernie

Det. Fin Tutuola: Trump

Det. Robert Goren: Hillary

Det. Alexandra Eames: Hillary

ADA Ron Carver: Hillary

DA Jack McCoy: Hillary

ADA Abbie Carmichael: Kasich

ADA Serena Southerlyn: Hillary

ADA Connie Rubirosa: Hillary

ADA Michael Cutter: Kasich

DA Nora Lewin: Hillary

DA Arthur Branch: Trump

ADA Alex Cabot: Hillary

ADA Casey Novak: Hillary

ADA Rafael Barba: Hillary

How I Met Your Mother

Ted: Bernie

Marshall and Lily: Hillary

Barney: Trump

Robin: Cruz

Mr. Robot

Elliot: Actually is Bernie Sanders.

The Nanny

Fran: Bernie

Mr. Sheffield: Can’t vote; too British.

Two Broke Girls

Both broke girls: Bernie

The Mindy Project

Mindy: Trump

Danny: Cruz

The Affair

Noah: Hillary

Allison: Hillary

Helen: Hillary

Cole: Cruz

Billions

Axe: Cruz

Chuck: Tells people he’s voting for Bernie, secretly voting for Hillary.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Det. Jake Peralta: Bernie

Det. Rosa Diaz: Cruz

Det. Amy Santiago: Hillary

Sgt. Terry Jeffords: Trump

Det. Charles Boyle: Trump

Gina Linetti: Trump

Capt. Ray Holt: Trump

Empire

Cookie: Hillary

Lucious: Trump

Andre: Trump

Jamal: Hillary

Hakeem: Doesn’t know there’s an election.

Elementary

Sherlock: Can’t vote; too British.

Joan: Hillary

The Real World: New York

Heather B: Bernie

Norman: Bernie

Becky: Hillary

Kevin: Abstaining (it’s canon!)

Julie: Kasich

Andre: Bernie

Eric: Bernie

Will and Grace

Will: Hillary

Grace: Hillary

Jack: Bernie

Karen: Trump

Master of None

Dev: Hillary, and he wants you to know it.

Brian: Hillary

Denise: Hillary

Arnold: Bernie

Rachel: Having too much fun in Japan to fill out an absentee ballot.

The Marvel Television Universe

Matt Murdock: Cruz

Karen Page: Hillary

Foggy Nelson: Bernie

Jessica Jones: Proudly abstaining

Trish Walker: Hillary

Luke Cage: Hillary

Wilson Fisk: Can’t vote, but you don’t wanna know how much he’s given Hillary in speaking fees.

Kilgrave: Was planning on making hundreds of people vote for Trump, for a laugh.

Orange Is the New Black

Larry: Hillary

Fig: Hillary

Caputo: Kasich

Healy: Trump

Current inmates: Can’t vote.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Kimmy: Hillary, despite her inexperience.

Titus: Writing in himself.

Jacqueline: Trump

Lillian: Bernie

Louie

Louie: Hillary

Pamela: Trump

Smash

Julia: Hillary

Karen: Bernie

Ivy: Hillary

Derek: Can’t vote; too British.

Eileen: Hillary

Tom: Hillary

Carpet: Bernie

Felicity

Felicity: Bernie, then went back in time to vote for Hillary.

Ben: Bernie

Noel: Hillary

Sports Night

Dan: Hillary (it’s canon!)

Casey: Bernie

Dana: Hillary

Isaac: Hillary

Jeremy: Bernie

Natalie: Hillary

Newsradio

Dave: Bernie

Lisa: Hillary

Jimmy James: Serving as a prominent Trump surrogate in the hopes of receiving a cabinet position.

Matthew: Bernie

Beth: Bernie

Joe: Cruz

Catherine: Hillary

Living Single

Khadijah: Hillary

Synclaire: Bernie

Max: Hillary

Kyle: Hillary

Obie: Bernie

Régine: Trump

The Norman Lear Universe

Archie Bunker: Dead, but wrote in Trump his last four ballots.

Gloria Stivic: Hillary

Michael Stivic: Bernie

Joey Stivic: Trump

Louise Jefferson: Hillary

Lionel Jefferson: Bernie

Maude Findlay: Hillary

The Good Wife

Everyone: At the last minute, remembers they’re actually supposed to be in Chicago.