I didn’t put a poll up and ask you all to vote for this week’s dumbass. I don’t want you reading under the illusion that this blog is democratic. Anyway, our crowned champion of fuckery this week is…

Christine O’Dumbass O’Donnell, the GOP Senate candidate from Delaware. This woman makes the teabaggers cream in their chastity belts. Really, I don’t even know where to start. The stupidity is strong with this one.

First, you should read this overview of things O’Donnell has actually said, out loud and in public. Here are some of my favorites:

That’s right. She thinks that you choking your chicken is the same as committing adultery (even if you’re not married. You’re committing adultery against your future spouse). And don’t you dare watch porn, you dirty sinner!

Um, what? That’s like saying if I piss in my pants right now, someone else is going to have dirty underwear because of it. As awesome as that would be, it’s not possible.

She thinks a woman should ‘graciously submit’ to her husband.

In her defense, she does say that a woman isn’t a slave to her husband. But the man is the ‘leader’ of the household, and a woman should submit to his will. FUCK THAT!

She also thinks providing condoms will help spread STDs. Nice.

She’s one of those people who says, “It’s just a theory.” Fuck you, so is gravity, you dumbass! If you don’t know what the definition of scientific theory is, you need to keep your bobble-headed mouth shut.

No, they didn’t. She said this because she’s against cloning and using embryonic stem cells to cure people of horrible ailments. Because the important thing isn’t helping people, it’s that mice with human brains might try to take over the world. Totally possible.

There are so very many things that make Christine O’Dumbfuck worthy of the DotW award. This is really just the tip of the iceberg-of-stupidity. But the thing that has made me actually kind of hate Christine is this bit of fuckery that was brought to my attention via Rev. Manny and His Empire of Awesomeness:

O’DONNELL: I dabbled into witchcraft

My first thought upon reading this was oh my fuck, here we go.

I didn’t join a coven. I didn’t join a coven, let’s get this straight. […] But that’s exactly why…because… because I dabbled in witchcraft. I hung around people who were doing these things. I’m not making this stuff up. I know what they told me they do. […] One of my first dates was with a witch was on a satanic altar and I didn’t know it and there was a little blood there and stuff like that. […] We went to a movie and then like had a little midnight picnic on a satanic altar.

Because you know what any good Satan worshiping heathen would do? Have a picnic on the altar where they worship The Dark One. Of course! How very romantic! I’m absolutely dying to know what the meal consisted of. I hope it was something like fried chicken, ambrosia salad, and the blood from a sacrificial goat. I also love that he took her to the movies first. I wonder what they saw…

Here’s the thing. When I was a teenager I started becoming interested in Wicca. I read everything I could find on the subject right up into my early 20s. Guess what? THERE IS NO SATAN IN WICCA! Yes, there is a Horned God. But he doesn’t represent evil. He represents the natural world, Earthly things. The Goddess represents the Divine, the spiritual. “Witches” don’t participate in ritual sacrifice. They believe in the Wiccan Rede, which basically says do whatever the fuck you want, as long as you don’t hurt anyone(including yourself). Many Wiccans take that to mean hurting animals as well. Killing an animal in order to get some kind of spiritual advancement doesn’t really fit into The Craft. FYI, watching Charmed, The Craft, or Practical Magic doesn’t make you an expert on witchcraft.

Christine O’Donnell never dated a witch. If what she said was true, she either dated a Satanist or she dated someone who was trying to impress her with his ‘bad boy’ edge in order to get a BJ. But I’m pretty sure this never happened. She’s like that one dumb bitch in high school who lied about everything so that the cool kids would like her. But the cool kids all hated her because they knew she was full of shit so they made her life hell. And now she’s taking that shit out on the entire state of Delaware.

And how the holy fuck do you “dabble into” something? No wonder, she and Queen BumpIt are bffs now!



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