Dan Bickley

azcentral sports

MIAMI – Bad football seasons are like South Florida storms. When it rains, it pours.

The Cardinals are soggy proof. Their dreams of a backdoor run to the playoffs were washed away with a 26-23 loss to the Dolphins on Sunday, in a game that served as a microcosm of all the misery we’ve endured in 2016.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, that’s just what happened. And when the latest defeat was over, head coach Bruce Arians walked into the swampy locker room and told his team what they never thought they would hear in the second week of December: Their playoff chances are toast.

The answer to “All or Nothing” is the latter.

“Terrible to hear,” Cardinals quarterback Carson Palmer said. “I don’t think that’s even sunk in yet.”

NFL PLAYOFF PICTURE:Cardinals blow chance

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The team’s seventh loss of the season was painfully familiar, full of blunders from a special teams unit that needs a complete overhaul in the offseason. Chandler Catanzaro missed a field goal, missed a PAT, and had another PAT blocked and returned by Miami for two points. That’s seven crucial points squandered by the Cardinals, a death sentence on the road.

“I want to do my job for these guys,” Catanzaro said. “They deserve that. That didn’t happen today. I’m just sorry. I don’t know what else to say. Sorry.”

The Cardinals had their moments. Their fourth-quarter rally was riveting and resilient, especially after the injury carnage that decimated their roster. Brittan Golden played safety and scored a touchdown. J.J. Nelson scored twice, a player coming on strong far too late in the season. The Cardinals also dialed up a gorgeous two-point conversion on demand to tie the game, shocking the hosts and the home crowd.

This could’ve been a special win, possibly the launching pad that would propel this team to a playoff berth. Patrick Peterson sensed as much. With just over two minutes remaining and the Dolphins down to their backup quarterback, Peterson made a nifty play on defense and sprinted down the field to his spot as punt returner, holding his index finger in the air the whole way.

And just when the Cardinals’ offense took the field, it started to pour.

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It would be hard to find a better metaphor for a football team.

“It seemed like it was doing that every time we had the ball,” Palmer said. “It wasn’t a drizzle. It was coming down (hard). It was greasy.”

Instead of a miraculous ending, the finish was just more heartbreak. The pariah punter, Drew Butler, helped Miami take over in great field position with another signature kick, a short-and-low special. Justin Bethel, the former special teams ace who can’t play cornerback, was burned deep. The Dolphins avoided a spectacular collapse with a game-winning field goal as time expired, and the Cardinals were left with a pungent buffet of excuses.

"Obviously, David (Johnson) drops it, Carson (Palmer) drops it when we were going to toss it around the corner for about 20 (yards)," Arians said. "But you still have to do it.

“We practiced with a wet ball on Wednesday, and didn’t have any problems. But when it continually pours, which was kind of odd, it’s tough. It makes it tough.”

Tiger Woods once tried the same trick, claiming the wind at St. Andrews was in his face for all 18 holes. Pretty implausible, right?

BICKLEY: What we've learned from 2016 NFL season

Sorry, but the weather gods did not conspire against Arizona. As usual, the Cardinals sabotaged the Cardinals. It was red-on-red crime, like usual. Their offense underachieved, as it has all season. Eleven times in 2016, a once-potent attack has faced third down and 20 or more yards, second-worst in the NFL.

The special teams have been brutal from Week 1, and veteran observers are wondering what’s going to happen if and when Arians is told he must replace his good friend, Amos Jones, as special teams coach. Will he resist? Will he fight back? Or will he accept the obvious?

“Self-inflicted wounds have been the story of us all year,” Peterson said.

The story is even worse for Cardinals supporters. Unlike the players, fans aren’t getting paid handsomely for this stuff. To the contrary, they have invested greatly, both emotionally and financially. Over 500 Big Red fans made the trip to Miami, and their voices could be heard after the game-tying conversion.

NOTES: Injuries had Cardinals scrambling in loss to Dolphins

But in the end, they were treated to a season-defining and dream-crushing loss, along with a weekend of wet weather.

Alas, we’ve all witnessed the most disappointing season in Valley sports history, a year when Super Bowl dreams were mocked by a combination of bad luck, bad decisions and bad football.

Some bubbles burst. Others are blown away. The 2016 Cardinals were like a cheap balloon floating through a saguaro forest. They never gave themselves a chance.

Reach Bickley at dan.bickley@arizonarepublic.com or 602-444-8253. Follow him at twitter.com/danbickley. Listen to “Bickley and Marotta” weekdays from 12-2 p.m. on Arizona Sports 98.7 FM.