SPRINGDALE, AR—Emphasizing that 10-minute loop of shrieking, grinding, and splattering sounds was totally unauthorized, Tyson Foods sent a cease-and-desist to President Donald Trump Wednesday for using slaughterhouse recordings as a pump-up anthem at his rallies. “Unfortunately, President Trump never asked nor received permission to play audio of hogs slamming against a large metal cage, chickens being decapitated, or cows being shot in the head with a bolt gun,” said Tyson Foods CEO Noel W. White, adding that the sounds were never meant to endorse any particular political party or be played while a candidate walked out to thousands of cheering supporters. “While we appreciate that people enjoy our recordings of cattle being tased and slaughtered in front of their young, we kindly ask that the Trump campaign stop playing it at events. As it stands, President Trump already owes our Dakota City beef-packing plant hundreds of thousands of dollars in residuals.” At press time, Werner Hertzog had also sent the Trump campaign a cease-and-desist notice after the president was recorded dancing to the audio of Timothy Treadwell being eaten by a bear at a 2020 fundraiser.

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