Hey, I’m an interpreter of the news.

Gov. John Kasich was helping his wife carry some clothes to the basement of their home in Ohio on Wednesday when they broached the subject that many Republicans have been wondering about. Should he continue his presidential campaign? After all, Mr. Kasich has not won a single state aside from Ohio. He has fewer delegates than Senator Marco Rubio of Florida, who ended his own bid more than a month ago. And on Tuesday, Mr. Kasich even lost to Donald J. Trump in McKees Rocks, the Pennsylvania community where he grew up. “I said, ‘What do you think, sweetie? I’m inclined to keep going,’ ” Mr. Kasich recounted at a town-hall-style event on Thursday. By Mr. Kasich’s telling, his wife, Karen, agreed. “She said: ‘The people need a choice. And if you don’t give them a choice, who will?’” he told the crowd, which broke out in applause. “So I’ve decided to keep going,” Mr. Kasich said. “And there are going to be people who are going to criticize me for that. And it’s not always an easy road. I’m going to do my very best.”

Frequent readers of mine know that I am not the slightest bit charitable towards John Kasich or his campaign. Just three or four seconds of honesty from this clown could change that, but he may be the only one in this race on either side who can give Dame van der Cankles a run for her money in the “lack of veracity” department.

It’s odd that Kasich is trying to offer some rationale for continuing on now. There has only been one reason for his existence in the race: he thinks he deserves the VP spot on the Republican ticket because he is from Ohio.

Naturally, he’s never been honest about that either.

The other thing Johnny Mushmouth has in common with Mrs. Bill is a nasty streak that the handlers need to temper with personal stories so the crowds think they’re human.

The odds on any part of this dutiful-husband-carrying-clothes anecdote being true are slimmer than an Olsen twin after a three-day juice cleanse. Oh, I’m sure he talks to his wife, but probably just to tell her how “^#!*[email protected]! stupid” the public is for not flocking to him.

Kasich is in a precarious position now. His continued presence in the race serves only to siphon some votes away from Trump, yet his only hope for continued relevance on the national stage is to be Trump’s running mate. Well, he also gets to be the host governor for a convention that will either be a bloody free-for-all or the resigned precursor to the GOP’s death rattle.

What he most definitely will not be is a viable “choice.”