As someone who has been openly gay for 8 years and someone who is very outspoken, I often find myself in heated discourse with people who express, in various ways, homoantagonistic sentiments. More often than not, when calling someone on their “disagreement with the gay life style” I am hit with a 1st amendment reference or “Why are you worried about my opinion?”. Such individuals often fail to realize that the expression of these view goes way beyond just them saying how they feel.

In a forum in one of the several Facebook groups that I belong to for gay and bisexual African American men recently, there was a young man who shared his story of being sexually assaulted by another man. Because he is not openly gay and lives in a small town, social media is one of the few outlets where he can openly discuss any issue relating to sexuality. Also due to the fact that he is not out, he did not want to go to local police for fear of being outed. Several members of the group lambasted him for putting his personal affairs on social media but what they did not realize is that, because o the lack of gay outlets he has access to, he–apparently wrongly–viewed this group as a family or support system. Also glossed over by several of the commentators was the fact that this young man was scared shitless of supporting a crime committed against him because he is afraid of a homophobic reaction.

When people express oppressive views they are not expressed into a vacuum. When a person hears constant messages that who s/he is, there is a good chance that this person will internalize it. In the case of this young man, it is keeping him from seeking justice against someone who violated him. Thus, homophobic sentiments–be them religion based or not–do real harm. Expressing your “disagreement” with someone’s natural sexual desires, in no way, enriches your life. You don’t get smarter. You don’t get richer. Nothing. However, it can have very serious negative implications in the life of another person. It is true that you are entitled to your opinion and the 1st amendment allows you to voice those opinions. However, that does not mean that you should do it and it does not mean that no one can call you on it. In conclusion, while you are flexing your constitutional right, you very well may be killing the spirit of another person and stripping them of tools needed to be healthy, happy and safe.