Don't ask. Please. Just don't ask.

"Pwez, bite, pwez!"

"Kaguya, what are you doing?"

"I'm just fixing some documents, Kaichou."

"Oof," Kaguya exclaimed.

"You know what? I'll go make some tea, it'll make things less of a pain to deal with."

Shirogane stood up, his back creaking perhaps more than he would have liked, and walked across the student council room.

"Bzzzzzt Fujiwara on the scene, yo!"

Kaguya hugs Shirogane's waste in Kaguya-chan form. "I want some Pwes [CENSORED FOR PUBLIC DECENCY]."

"Let's all make a story one sentence at a time while rapping, yo!"

"SUBJECT F HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT!" shouts Hayasaka as she tackles Fujiwara.

The sound of broken glass - or broken spirits - belied the fact that Miko Iino had been in the line of firing, and may or may not have gotten a one-way trip to ground level.

"Um... Shinomiya...? What has gotten into you?"

"You got me, yo!", Fujiwara said as she twitched and mutated into the Eldritch horror she really was "Fujiwara-senpai, what is happ-" as Subject F's tendrils entered Iino's oral cavity.

"I'M OUT OF HERE, I GOT BETTER STUFF TO DO!" shouts Ishigami as he gets out of the story.

With a bright light in the window came a cry breaking through the...silence?...of "The fighter for truth and justice! The warrior of rules and making-good-thingys! Magical Girl Iino-chan!"

Shirogane grabs Kaguya-chan and hurry towards Iino. "You can do this, Magical Girl Iino-chan!"

Subject F cries out in screams, a tentacle flying out of the room, grabbing Ishigami and pulling him back into the story, kicking and screaming. "Gotcha, yo!"

"HER RIBBON," Hayasaka shouted as she was engulfed by Subject F's pink hair "I MUST DO THIS, FOR MY FRIENDS!" Says Magical Girl Iino-chan as she pulls the ribbon.

"I-I-I-I am so glad I didn't ddddddddie like that..." Ishigami shivers in fear, having barely escaped Subject F.

The ribbon in Iino's hand suddenly flares to life, tentacles spewing out from it, reaching out and infecting someone with the will of Subject F. Suddenly, the tendrils make their way into Subject F's oral cavity.

Then, a man barged in and cut the tentacles in a single sword cut, while saying "Papa Shirogane in the house."

And a window shattered, glass scattering everywhere, as a girl in a Tarzan loincloth - or a comparably skimpy and therefore economical but still legal in Japan outfit - swung in, shouting, "And his sidekick! The great Kei Shirogane!...not that I'm trying to save my brother."

"Kei, what on earth is that outfit?!" Shirogane cuts in even as Subject F grabs Kei and holds her up by her ankle Magical Girl Iino chants a mysterious spell, when suddenly, Papa Shirogane transformed into a magical girl.

"WITNESS MY TRUE FORM, ABOMINATION, AND DIE TO THE SHIROGANE FAMILY'S SECRET TECHNIQUE: THE PIERCING GLARE!" says an older Kei lookalike.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" shouted much of the cast, charging up the Shonen attacks they totally always had.

Ishigami, being Ishigami, is on the side.

"Shirogane-san's sword... Is that the Excali[CENSORED FOR COPYRIGHT INFRIGEMENT] from Fate/[CENSORED FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT] Night?!" He mutters to himself.

The attacks hit and subject f falls to the ground in a twitching mess, covering Kei in viscera. "I want to die." "I have magical powers now, why you hatin'?"

"So do I, yo" as Subject F swallows her own tendril.

Halfway across the school, Kashiwagi, Tsubame, and Maki all bump into each other at once; they all exchange a look, first with each other and then towards the student council room, and sigh.

Subject F shrivels up, turns into a bug, and flies away.

"Back to the forest I go, yo. To build up my power once again, yo. You haven't heard the last of me, yo. You may be the heroes, but I'm still the heroine of this fanfiction, yo."

An acorn - from Kei-Tarzan, who 100% definitely was not doing the "Ah-ah-ah" Tarzan thingy why-would-you-think-that-don't-be-silly - nailed Fujiwara in the forehead. "Wanna break the fourth wall again, huh? Go ahead, make my day."

"SHOULDN'T I BE THE HEROINE OF THIS STORY?!" Kaguya wakes up in a cold sweat, Shirogane, still asleep, by her side. Kaguya calmed down a bit and after realizing it was morning, got up to another day with her husband Miyuki...and their 9 children.

The End? Question Mark?