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Larry King’s News & Views I

Larry King…..Norm MacDonald



Announcer: If you’re not reading Larry King’s News and Views in USA Today, then you’re missing on the issues that matter.

Larry King: This is News and Views, here’s my two cents, gang..

If you only see one film the rest of your life it should be “Mickey Blue Eyes”.

When it comes to window blinds, vertical blinds are terrific, but so are horizontal blinds.

Has anybody ever died of a heart attack? I mean, really?

I don’t care what anyone says, in my book, Ted Kaczynski is not the Unabomber.

Sudden thought: When did sugar diabetes become plain old diabetes?

Of all of the figures of the 20th Century one of the greatest has to be Robert Urich.

I have no tolerance, gang, for anyone who commits arson.

World Series prediction, it will be the Diamondbacks in 4.

The more I think about it, the more I appreciate the equator.

I don’t ever remember seeing a Mormon, not once, not ever.

Is it just me, or is anyone else sick and tired of Nelson Mandela?

Here’s the dirty truth, gang, Poland spring water does not come from Poland.

I interviewed Chile’s imprisoned dictator General Pinochet last week, and take it from me, guys, this fella has a terrific laugh.

Does anybody remember baseball cards?

Between Hurricane Hugo and Hurricane Andrew, nothing beats Hurricane Hugo.

My wish for the new millennium is that we see a lot more of John Larroquette.

Family update, folks: Holding my baby son, Chance King makes me realize how much more I love him than my other children.

Announcer: This has been USA Today’s News and Views with Larry King.

Larry King: Margarine has its place, but nothing beats the real deal… butter.

Thanks to Jordan Davidson of The SNL Message Board for this transcript.

SNL Transcripts

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