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After fighting tooth and nail to get Woolies to charge 10 cents extra per litre of his milk produce, local dairy farmer Bob Kennedy (55) says the multinational supermarket chain has really won him back over.

“It’s good to know they aren’t wasting the margins they are making”

“I still think it’d be good to be paid fairly for my produce but I’m glad to learn today that they are re-investing wisely and not blowing money on pointless shit like the livelihoods of those at the bottom”

“I know from experience that Woolworth’s just simply can’t operate while also fairly paying everyone for their labour.”

The extortionate treatment of Australian dairy farmers under the Woolworths/Coles monopoly has been a hot topic of conversation in recent years, as the nation is forced to acknowledge that is doesn’t make sense for milk to cost $1 per litre.

In 2016, it was reported that Australia’s biggest collective of dairy farmers were having their livelihoods destroyed by a convoluted and deeply flawed public debt-for-equity instrument.

Woolworths and Coles fought hard to maintain their Morrison-esque model of trickle down economics, with some arguing they were ahead of their time.

Unfortunately, Woolworths was the first to cave to public pressure – declaring that they would now charge $1.10 per litre instead. Breaking the hearts of Liberal Party think-tanks around the country.

However, today Woolworth’s are back in the good books for Australia’s Hillsong Reaganist, following the news that they had created loopholes to underpay nearly 6000 employees over the past nine years – with repayments expecting to cost up to $300 million.

The supermarket giant said this morning the major irregularity was uncovered during a review triggered this year by the implementation of a new enterprise agreement with employees at all supermarkets and the smaller Metro stores.

Morrison has congratulated the retail-focused-but-very-pokie-machine-friendly-conglomerate for having a go.