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Everyone should work in Tech Support for at least a week The public schools need more money

October 13, 2011 | 10:00 AM



Everyone should work in Tech Support for a week.



Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?



Female customer: A black one...



===============



Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my disc out.



Tech support: Have you tried pushing the release button?



Customer: Yes, sure; the tray comes out but there's nothing in it.



Tech support: Does disc content show up on your screen?



Customer: ...Oh! ...wait a minute..... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....



===============



Tech support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on the left of the screen.



Customer: Your left or my left?



===============



Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?



Male customer: Hello... I can't print.



Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...



Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.



===============



Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer.'



I've even lifted the printer over and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...



============== =



Customer: I have problems printing in red.



Tech support: Do you have a color printer?



Customer: Aaaah.....................thank you.



===============



Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?



Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the carnival.



===============



Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.



Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?



Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer..



Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk to the other side of the room.



Customer: OK



Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?



Customer: Yes



Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?



Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work.



===============



Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple,



a capital letter V as in Victor, and the numbers 7274.



Customer: Is the 7274 in capital letters?



== =============



Customer: I can't open Yahoo calender.



Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?



Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.



Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?



Customer: Yes... five stars.



===============



Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?



Customer: Hotmail.



Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program..



Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.



===============



Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.



Tech support: ....Who the hell transferred this call to me???



===============



Tech support: How may I help you?



Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.



Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?



Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?



===============



A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.



Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?



Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that's a good point. The guy sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."



And last but not least...



Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now hit the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."



Customer: I don't have a P.



Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.



Customer: What do you mean?



Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.



Customer:I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!





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