[Bumped to Front Page because ... of course.]

Once again, the great wheel of realignment turns, grinding into dust those who can't or won't get out of its way. An intricate network of college presidents, athletic directors, conference commissioners, media barons, mega boosters and dentists plot endlessly to ensure that their interests are served above all others. But who are these titans of college athletics? Below, I attempt to lay out the cabal that is reshaping college athletics

David Boren, President of the University of Oklahoma

Joe Castiglione, Former Athletic Director of the University of Missouri and Current Athletic Director of the University of Oklahoma

Bob Stoops, Head Football Coach of the University of Oklahoma Sooners, Convicted Claim Jumper

The Pride of Oklahoma Marching Band, Professional Trolls

Bill Powers, President of the University of Texas, Evil Twin Brother of Missouri Offensive Coordinator Dave Yost

Deloss Dodds, Athletic Director of the University of Texas, demands two spaces in this column

Mack Brown, Head Football Coach of the University of Texas Longhorns

Bevo, Mascot of the University of Texas Longhorns

R. Bowen Loftin, President of Texas A&M University, Doctor Who Cosplayer

Bill Byrne, Athletic Director of Texas A&M University

Mike Sherman, Head Football Coach of Texas A&M University

Harvey Perlman, President of the University of Nebraska, Extra on AMC's The Walking Dead

Tom Osbourne, former Head Football Coach for the University of Nebraska and current Athletic Director of the University of Nebraska

Bo Pelini, Head Football Coach of the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers, Motivational Speaker

Brady Deaton, Chancellor of the University of Missouri

Mike Alden, Athletic Director of the University of Missouri

Gary Pinkel, Head Football Coach of the University of Missouri Tigers

Jamie Pollard, Athletic Director of Iowa State University and frequent phone prank victim

Paul Rhoads, Head Football Coach of the Iowa State University Cyclones

Bernadette Gray-Little, Chancellor of the University of Kansas

Turner Gill, Head Football Coach of the University of Kansas Jayhawks

Crying Beaker Fan, Athletic Supporter of the University of Kansas

Jay, Politically Correct Mascot of the University of Kansas

Kenneth Starr, President of Baylor University

T. Boone Pickens, Billionaire Booster of Oklahoma State University, Convicted Water Rustler

Kirk Schulz, President of Kansas State University, Level 50 Paladin in World of Warcraft

Willie Wildcat, Mascot of the Kansas State University, Noted Philosopher

EcoKat, Former 80's Pop Star and Fugative Eco-Terrorist

Bruce Benson, President of the University of Colorado

Kirby Hocutt, Athletic Director of Texas Tech University

Guy Baily, President of Texas Tech University

Chris Del Conte, Athletic Director of Texas Christian University

Jeff Long, Athletic Director of the University of Arkansas, secretly hates pork

Mike Anderson, former Head Men's Basketball Coach of the University of Missouri Tigers and current Head Men's Basketball Coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks

ESPN, the Worldwide Leader of Sports and Sports-Like Substances

Brown Chip, Blogger for Orangebloods.com and Bevo Enthusiast

Berry Tramel, Sports Journalist for... haha sorry, I almost made it through that without laughing. Anyway, he works for the Daily Oklahoman.

Dan Beebe, Destroyer of Southern Methodist University and current Commissioner of What's Left of the Big XII Conference

Jim Delany, Commissioner of the Big Ten Conference and Arch Enemy of EcoKat

John Marinatto, Commissioner of What's Left of the Big East Conference

Larry Scott, Commissioner of the Pac-12 Conference and iPad enthusiast

Mike Slive, genteel Commissioner of the Southeastern Conference

John Swofford, Commissioner of the Atlantic Coast Conference and Scourge of the Big East

============BREAKING NEWS UPDATE 9/20/11============

============BREAKING NEWS UPDATE 9/23/11============