I'm not going to tell you how, but BELIEVE ME, it'll happen!

Love, @realDonaldTrump https://t.co/OCJA76BBol — ❤ Weird Ralph (@weirdralph) April 2, 2016

This is a heck of a promise:

Wisconsin has suffered a great loss of jobs and trade, but if I win, all of the bad things happening in the U.S. will be rapidly reversed! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 2, 2016

Hefty guarantee!

I defy any politician anywhere to beat this promise. https://t.co/G47j1civaw — Merrick Badger (@MerrickBadger) April 2, 2016

Your move, Clinton, Sanders, Cruz and Kasich!

All of them, every last one — rapidly.https://t.co/X41UwhaeVQ — John Schindler (@20committee) April 2, 2016

"I am the only one who can fix this" https://t.co/GXFmszfRRn

"I alone can solve" https://t.co/1k4HOF6YSe Now this: https://t.co/XDAGusXn95 — ConservativeLA (@ConservativeLA) April 2, 2016

"rapidly reversed"? I'm sure the 535 members of Congress got a good laugh at that ridiculous statement. #NeverTrump https://t.co/vwELEkHaXn — Hᴀʜɴ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀ (@HahnAmerica) April 2, 2016

This must be why Scott Walker has an 80% approval rating in WI. #NeverTrump https://t.co/Q2uiayWKcy — Janice (@jannyfayray) April 2, 2016

"If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true." #beyondparody https://t.co/YH9br9HLHwhttps://t.co/1SynrHY16X — Stephen Hayes (@stephenfhayes) April 2, 2016

"this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal…" Sounds familiar… https://t.co/dEnYh8bvYf — Derek Hunter (@derekahunter) April 2, 2016

“I don’t want to just stop bad things from happening, I want to start good things from happening."–@HillaryClinton https://t.co/Hj9s0pWCm6 — James Taranto (@jamestaranto) April 2, 2016

Vote for me and you'll instantly be beautiful, drop 10lbs and win a new car. And you'll never have to eat broccoli. https://t.co/hY83ycMvCS — Prudence Paine (@PruPaine) April 2, 2016

If only.