Really, it probably only takes one, but just in case that doesn't quite do the trick, we here at The Stonecipher Report present you three:

What I love about Alan Keyes is how reasonable and level-headed the guy is. With logic like this, it is shocking that he only managed to garner 27% of the vote against Barack Obama in the U.S. Senate race in Illinois in 2004.

So what if he claimed that Jesus endorsed him and that the right to vote for Senators should be stripped from the American public, he's just here to keep up the good fight and save us all from the certain destruction of this country that "President" Obama will bring about shortly:

Next up, we have the world's smartest man, Glenn Beck.

Our insightful viewers may begin to pick up on a pattern here, according to Beck, just like Alan Keyes said, the Obama Administration will lead us to near certain destruction. Only Keyes never specified how this nation would implode and Beck (along with some help from a very bright FOX News anchor) pointed more specifically towards some sort of revolution that the military is preparing for whichmay or may not be sparked by a rancher in Texas named Bubba who shoots a Mexican.

The seriousness of the conversation was underscored by one of the FOX anchors actually crawling under her desk:

Beck followed that brilliant performance up on Friday night with an hour of cable news so awesome that it required a viewer discretion warning. Wow, you don't see that every day.

During one segment of the show, Beck actually uttered the phrase "don't get me wrong, I am against the government." Wasn't there something Bush slipped into the PATRIOT Act about people who say things like that? Can't we lock this guy up and send him to Guantanamo for that little outburst? Or did we eventually decide freedom of speech was cool? I can't remember.

Anyway, after watching this clip, I have determined that there is a 100% chance that Glenn Beck is not a Chuck Klosterman fan. If he was, he would have read this piece and wouldn't be hyperventilating about the coming great Bubba Revolution.

At the end of this clip, Beck asks "is this crack-pot stuff?"

Well, you decide:

Finally, for your viewing pleasure, and because I don't really want to ruin your weekend, our last right-wing whack-job will not be brought to you raw and uncut, and will not feature any direct references to the imminent end of American History. Instead, several solid doses of sanity will be sprinkled in by Keith Olbermann and The Nation's Chris Hayes.

In case you don't remember Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, she famously went on Hardball with Chris Matthews and called for a major media investigation into the potential anti-American views of all members of Congress, including Barack Obama - and a call for the revival of McCarthyism isn't the only insane thing she's suggestedduring her brief Congressional career. In fact, to paraphrase the late Hunter S. Thompson, Bachmann just keeps cranking out the jams - and this past week she offered us another gem:

So, sorry if I ruined what was otherwise a nice, relaxing weekend for you by getting your blood pressure up on this Monday morning, but hate Mondays are supposed to suck, right? Well, I Hope Alan Keyes, Glenn Beck, Michele Bachmann and could all help make yours more miserable.