Everyone’s talking about the journalistic beatdown author/activist Greg Mortenson received on last night’s 60 Minutes. But unless you watched the second half of the show, an interview with Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen, you wouldn’t know that Allen — who was once the third-richest man in the world — has troubles of his own.

See, Allen has never been married. And despite seemingly having it all materially, he’d really like to find someone to share in his riches. When Lesley Stahl brought up his eternal bachelorhood, the 58-year-old billionaire refused to throw in the towel.

“I’m still optimistic,” he said. “I still believe I’m going to meet somebody … I want to have a family.”

The interview was officially pegged to the release of Allen’s memoir, so he spent some of the segment spinning yarns about the founding of Microsoft, the early days of personal computing, and how he narrowly escaped the Eduardo Saverin treatment after feuding with Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer in the eighties. But a good chunk of time was spent discussing what Allen’s $13 billion net worth has bought him: a fleet of aircraft, two sports teams, a rock band that is available around-the-clock for impromptu jam sessions. And while Allen, a notorious recluse whose eccentric hobbies have drawn Howard Hughes comparisons, was probably just trying to plug his book, we’d also imagine that parading your treasures on national TV is also a pretty effective form of personals ad for a guy who’s having trouble meeting The One.

So hop to it, ladies! Mr. Allen is waiting for your call. He’s got everything a woman could want: A yacht with an attached submarine! A Shakespeare first folio! The guitar Jimi Hendrix used at Woodstock! And, um, an “antenna farm listening for aliens.” But focus on the submarine!