We love us some alternate history, but it always comes down to the same tired old ideas. What if the South had won the Civil War? What if the Nazis had won World War II? What if the Nazis had won World War II and then somehow the Civil War? But history almost went in some much weirder directions. We demand to see the following scenarios inspire some fresh movies and video games. And we would also like some somber reflection on the fragility of human progress, if there's time. But mostly new Bioshock , please.

5 The USSR Was In Serious Talks To Join The Axis

At the start of World War II, the Soviet Union signed a neutrality pact with the Nazis, and then both carved up Poland. Then in June of 1941, the Germans went back on their word, because Hitler was definitely the kid on the playground who calls takebacksies. The two superpowers hated each other, so it was going to end in blood sooner or later, right?

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Maybe not! Nazi-Soviet relations were complicated. They were never going to take a summer vacation together, but each knew that war would be devastating, and saw the world as big enough for the both of them. As late as May 1941, the Soviets were in serious talks to join the Tripartite Pact, Hitler's dictator fantasy league that already included Italy and Japan.

Stalin was so serious about staying on Hitler's good side that the Soviet Union helped Germany survive Britain's economic blockade by providing millions of tons of food, oil, metal, and other essentials. Those supplies gave the Germans the confidence to invade France, and then the Soviets saw their own resources used against them. So they didn't really swoop in to save the day so much as fix what they helped break, after which any mention of cooperation with the Nazis was quietly scrubbed from official Soviet history.

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So why did the dream team collapse? Too many arguments about what kind of mustache was better? Probably, but there were two other problems. First, they couldn't agree on how to divide the big Risk board that is Earth, with Bulgaria, Iraq, and Iran being particular sticking points. That might have been resolved -- what's a little Bulgaria between supervillains? -- but Hitler had a huge hate-on for the Soviet Union that simply would not go down.

Ozersky/RIA Novosti

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The German ambassador to Moscow told Berlin that an invasion would end in disaster, and that Stalin seemed willing to meet whatever economic demands Hitler made, so long as war was avoided. The German foreign minister and other pragmatic high-ranking Nazis were so strongly in favor of cutting a deal that they even conducted talks behind Hitler's back. They saw Britain as the true enemy, and feared that opening a two-front war would be their doom (spoiler: they were right).

For his part, Stalin seemed content to sit on the sidelines and watch Churchill and Hitler tear each other apart. But Hitler thought that the guy who was sending him free food was a jerk (pot, kettle, black, etc.), so lil half-stache responded with a giant middle finger and an invasion. If someone had been able to talk some sense into Hitler, the whole war could have turned out differently (uh ... probably worse). Although any scenario that involves talking sense into Hitler is admittedly a stretch.