We prefer “partner” because it’s not gendered. As folks who live our everyday lives on the in-between and upside-down of the gender spectrum (think of us as trans-Demogorgons), “partner” is something of an outlier in an arsenal of otherwise incredibly binary means of describing togetherness. In fact, it’s the only word equipped to convey the seriousness of our bond without ascribing either of us a fixed gender. Though we’re married, the term also dispels some of the ownership associated with the institution of marriage, calling for a more active relationship and equal dynamic. We’re not simply partners in love and sex ’til death do us part, but we’re partners in crime; partners in life; partners in charades (for better or worse). I can count on him to feed the dachshunds when I stay late at the office; he can count on me to take them out in the morning as he’s just waking up.