It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s check out some new releases!

Itzy – Icy

It actually starts off pretty good but it doesn’t have that killer melody it needs to take it somewhere interesting and the chorus is lame. Twice sucked at first too, so give Itzy time I guess.

Kang Daniel – What Are You Up To

What am I up to? Well it’s Roundup once again and I’m listening to possibly the worst ring-modulated synth noise put to a song in 2019.

CIX – Movie Star

Oversized shopping dockets with junk written on them doesn’t really fit with this song’s ambience somehow, but it’s still probably the best thing about this package.

Woosung – Face

The super-self-conscious “transgressive” video is a little bit cringe, but the song at least has some nice rhythms to it if nothing else.

Mamamoo – Gleam

More tropical crap. It would be good to get these girls in a good song one day, but today is not that day.

Taemin – Famous

Fantastic production and sonics let down by some not-very-good writing.

EXO-SC – Closer To You

This otherwise very average song is almost saved by a drum-machine programmer who didn’t get the memo that he was working on cookie-cutter R&B slop instead of a John Bonham dub remix.

Bewhy – Gottasadae

Holy crap this is good. And weird. Bewhy has never been good so I don’t know where the fuck this came from but I support.

GWSN – Red Sun

Whereas this is average and aside from a bit of noodling around with drum and bass sounds, is exactly what you’re expecting.

Dongkiz – Blockbuster

I never liked the original “Ghostbusters” tune by Ray Parker Jr even back when it came out, and I like this semi-ripoff-remake-whatever even less. The fact that the ripoff parts are the best parts of the song tells you how crap it is because the original was cheesy bullshit so to actually write something worse is an achievement.

Park Boram – Do As I Like

It’s not the One True Boram so it’s hard to care, but even notwithstanding that the song isn’t great and has too much plink plonk shit.

NCT Dream – Boom

Doesn’t boom enough to be called “boom”, maybe it should have been called “splat, whimper”.

Swervy ft. Reddy – Art Gang Money

No video but this is cool, like Azaelia Banks with better music and less social networking trolling. Swervy is actually saving her piece of shit label full of talentless losers.

Boy Story ft. Jackson – Too Busy

It sort of rocks, kind of, a little, so that’s something.

Oh My Girl – Shower

You people who are rubbing your hands together whenever your bias group performs a B-side on a music show because you think I’ll do a good review of it – I pity you. It must be hard going through life having futile hopes and dreams.

Object Brothers – Charging Cable

Nothing that I write here will prepare you for this.

Yenjamin ft. Jinbo, Paloalto – Pull Up!

Devastating blandness.

Loopy & Nafla – Shot

They even look like coked-out Californian rappers. Progress of a sort, I guess.

Onsu – The Rain

Girl, buy yourself a mic stand, they’re not that expensive.

N.flying – Lupin

The amount of sheer stuff going on is sufficiently distracting that you don’t really notice that there’s no real song here.

VAV ft. De La Ghetto & Play-N-Skillz – Give Me More

Whenever a song opens with a tropical coastline these days, that’s a bad sign.

Jeonghan – Love Season

Yeah nah.

Kimhwol – Down

The lack of pace here is actually an asset, but it’s just a little too meandering and undisciplined for its own good.

1Team – Ice In The Cup

This song doesn’t know whether it wants to be plink plonk or swig sweg.

Shin Youme – Nights Without You

Oh my god the inappropriate T-ara speed cutting is back.

Lil Nas X ft. RM – Seoul Town Road

Lil Nas X is as garbage as anybody else working the tired fossil that is the yolosweg trap circuit in the US, just because he uses the word “horse” in his trash songs every so often doesn’t mean he’s any different to the rest of them. Neither does having some random rapper from BTS in his song.

BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK

The Random YouTube Comment Generator

If you just can’t think of what to put in that all-important YouTube comment on your favourite video, YouTube caonima isaymyeolchigr, curator of the amazing k-pop database has got you covered! Link here!

That’s all for this week’s roundup – Kpopalypse will return with more roundup next week!