You know, I’ve done a nearly completely 180 on cops. I used to thought it would be cool to be a detective, solve crimes and help people. But between the stories I’ve heard from people, personal experience and this subreddit on Reddit, I’ve begun to question the very idea of any law enforcement. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. But anyhow, here now are Ten Things You’ll Never See Cops Do.

1. Stop at a red light when they’re in a hurry.

2. Get a ticket for not stopping at a red light.

3. Pay for a mistake.

4. Go after the real criminals.

5. Leave their ego at home.

6. Go out of their way to park legally.

7. Slow down.

8. Stay thin and mustache-free.

9. Not act like you’re bothering them.

10. Remember who they work for.