You're here, on the internet, so you know that earlier this year the 2000s makeover show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was rebooted by Netflix, rebranded as simply: Queer Eye. The new show brought with it a new cast, and when Queer Eye became a huge global sensation (so huge that the second season was rushed out only months later, with a third currently filming), the group of men responsible for the transformations grew into an even bigger phenomenon.

Everyone has a favourite member of the Fab Five: it's as natural a preference as having a favourite colour or food. In my eyes – despite Antoni's, well, everything; Bobby Berk's work ethic; my deep personal fear of disappointing Karamo; and Tan France's "French Tuck" tip (which I genuinely believe to be quietly humanitarian) – there is only one star: Jonathan Van Ness, Queer Eye's expert groomer, beachy-waved ray of sunshine, and leader of subtle social change by way of calling 45-year-old fathers of two from the state of Georgia "kween".

Van Ness is so easy to admire because he's so deeply himself all the time. That kind of self-possession is rare and enviable, and it even led some to eye Van Ness with suspicion. A few early critics of Queer Eye had doubts about the authenticity of his flamboyant persona, but as the show continued and we saw hours and hours more footage, it was extremely clear that when he shortened the word "moment" to "mome", or called one of his co-stars "boobie", or yelled "YAS BALANCE YAS SYMMETRY" at a beard he had just trimmed, he was just acting in a way that came naturally.

There are endless things to say about why that is important: in inhabiting the often conservative spaces in which Queer Eye was filmed, all of the Fab Five – but Van Ness in particular – proposed another way of being a man that is just as "strong" as traditional masculinity.

Placed on the enormous platform of Netflix, Van Ness may well have humanised campness for some viewers struggling with their identities. On his Instagram, he frequently posts videos of himself crying, or performing dance routines to the musical stylings of Fifth Harmony, or wearing the pair of Gucci heels he just bought. And while he's far from the only self-identifying man to do so, his position in the mainstream, prominence on social media and willingness to be in the spotlight makes him a significant and special figure.

Unsurprisingly, Van Ness – a pirouette in human form – has been predisposed to entertaining for a while. Though it has raised his profile the most, Queer Eye was not his first televisual venture: since 2013, he has also hosted the Game of Thrones recap web-series Gay of Thrones on Funny or Die, on which he calls Daenerys "Christina Aguilera", among other services to the community. Last month, Van Ness received his second Emmy nomination for the show, in the Outstanding Short Form Variety Series category.

The height of his art, however, is his podcast Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness, which recently became the number one programme on the iTunes podcast chart. His guests have ranged from US figure skater Mirai Nagasu (Van Ness is a lifelong fan of the sport, because of course he is) to his own mother, and each episode, titled after a different question about to be explored (my favourite: "How Can We Be Less Rude to Bees?"), is fascinating, lovely, always funny and genuinely informative. This is in large part due to the fact that it's on Getting Curious that Van Ness' best traits come through: he's genuinely inquisitive and open to learning about topics of all kinds.

As adults, these are both characteristics we embody too little, and in Van Ness they make for an extremely charming combination that encourages the same attributes in his listeners.

His curiosity also makes Van Ness remarkably well-informed, particularly on the issues that matter to him. This, in turn, means he's a righteous and outspoken advocate for LGBTQ issues. In a recent profile of the Fab Five in Vulture, Van Ness knowledgeably and passionately discussed the Supreme Court's ruling in favour of a Colorado baker who refused to bake a cake for a gay couple, and in particular why he wouldn't give the baker a makeover on Queer Eye. His comments about not wanting to legitimise people who hate his community felt like a genuine stance, even when his co-stars disagreed, and this assuredness is just another reason why he's so magnetic.

For me, a person who frequently feels deeply uncomfortable in her skin, Van Ness represents certainty, which is something so many of us crave these days. I feel an affinity to him because he represents many of the traits I have on my best days – effervescence, generosity, humour – but which sometimes fall to the wayside on my worst. I am, as Van Ness would put it (and literally has, referring to someone who appeared on Queer Eye): "a little baby guinea pig with anxiety, honey".

On days when I feel at my most sedate, loading up an episode of Queer Eye, or listening to a new Getting Curious on my commute through London, feels like a particularly valuable and good thing to do, because Van Ness is a reminder that the most important thing is to be yourself. His presence also tells me that if being quiet and more reserved than usual is how I am best expressing myself that day, then it's what I should do – which always cheers me up.