Last night, I went to a local music venue to watch some friends of mine play music.

It was a completely normal night out, and I even convinced my husband to tag along by promising he would hear some great music. When we arrived I found all of my friends, grabbed a PBR, and headed downstairs to watch my friends perform.

About halfway through the first band’s set, I needed to go to the bathroom. I asked my husband to hold my phone, and I made my way upstairs by myself to go to the restroom. As soon as I got upstairs a guy came out of nowhere, cornered me, and stuck his hand out to introduce himself. I could tell something wasn’t right with him. He seemed awkward and a little off like someone who may not have many friends. So, I was trying my best to be nice. I shook his hand and tried to make my way past him to the bathroom. He stepped in front of me and started talking to me about music and different things. So I sat down on a nearby bench just to get some space between us. He sits down next to me and touches my leg. I scoot away from him. Then he puts his arm around my shoulder. I pull away from him, but he squeezes his arm around me. He scoots closer.

“Sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

So he knew. He KNEW he was making me uncomfortable. He could sense it, but he continued to do it. At this point, I could feel the blood rushing to my face and blind rage building up inside of me. I was hoping he would look down and see my ring. His face was so close to mine while he was trying to talk to me, but I couldn’t hear a word he was saying. I could only notice how disgustingly close he was to me. All I could hear in my head was ringing. I couldn’t even speak or move. I was just nodding with his words and trying to put space between us.

A girl comes up behind me and breaks the moment. She grabs me by my hands, pulls me in close for a hug, and says, “Hey girl! I haven’t seen you in forever. You should come to the bathroom with me really quick!” And she pulls me away to the bathroom. I had never met this girl in my entire life. I had never even seen her before, but she could tell that I needed help out of that situation. When we got into the bathroom she asked if I was okay. I told her I was, and I told her thank you for looking out for me.

When I got back downstairs, my husband and one of my guy friends were talking. They quickly realized that I was upset. With tears in my eyes and clenched fists, I told them what happened to me.

“Why do people just think that they can do that because I’m a girl?”

“Why does society make me feel like I have to smile and be polite in those situations?”

“Why do people feel like they have a right to just touch me without permission?”

My husband, who is seriously the sweetest guy in the universe asked me if I wanted him to say something to the guy.

“No. It’s fine. It’s over now.”

A few minutes later that same guy made it downstairs and sat on the opposite end of the couches right across from us. He was staring at me. I got up and went across the room to stand with my friend Taylor and get away from him. He followed behind me, and my husband and my friend both jumped up so quick. Long story short, I got to see a side of my husband that I’ve never seen before in almost 8 years of being with him. It was a side that I hope I don’t ever see again. He stepped between me and the guy and looked him right in his face.

“Stay away from my wife. Don’t touch her. Don’t look at her. Get away from her.”

(So much for my brother always joking and saying we don’t know if Jordan could ever hold his own. Well, he can.)

The guy profusely apologized and insisted he didn’t know and walked away. He acted oblivious like he didn’t know what he had done. He knew. It made me even more mad.

At that point I wanted to leave. I was over it, and the fear I had felt had turned into complete anger. Now I was not at all sexually assaulted, and while I wasn’t necessarily touched inappropriately – it was unwanted and uninvited. Period. There seems to be this misconception with assaults or situations like this one that the advances were brought on by the woman. So I wanted to address those main arguments.

Let me tell you about my appearance and what I was doing to “bring on” this advance.

I had on a pair of blue jeans, brown ankle boots, a burnt-orange t-shirt, a brown and blue cardigan, and not a lick of make-up on my face. I was in no way shape or form drawing attention to myself. I wasn’t dressed promiscuously. I was covered. I personally think it’s important to dress modest. I want people to look at my face and listen to my words instead of focusing on my body. I’ve always been that way. I definitely wasn’t drunk. I still had over half of the beer I had gotten when I first got there, and I wasn’t going out of my way to look to or speak to this guy. I simply just needed to pee.

He sought me out, cornered me, and wouldn’t let me leave. He even followed me back downstairs. There was no reason for him to do that, but there I was, uncomfortable under his arm trying to scoot away nicely with a forced smile on my face because that’s what I’ve been socialized to do.

THAT’S WHAT WOMEN HAVE BEEN SOCIALIZED TO DO.

I honestly don’t think this situation would have escalated into something else, but you never ever know. Especially as a woman. You just never know. I’m lucky that it didn’t. I’m lucky that a complete stranger – another awesome woman – stepped in and saved me. I’m lucky that I have friends and a husband who took my fears and concerns seriously and didn’t try to downplay them when I told them, “I’m scared.”

I was lucky.

So, I hope that if any of you ever see a situation like that you’ll step in like that girl did for me. I know I will. Don’t just passively sit by or turn your head the other way. Address it because it’s an issue. I hope that you won’t try to downplay a friend who complains about a “creepy” guy following her. I hope you’ll just do what is right and look out for her.

I hope you won’t ask a girl what she was wearing or how much she had to drink when a situation like this occurs because at the end of the day, there is no good reason for someone to touch another person without invitation. End of story.

Let’s stop telling women it’s up to them to go without experiencing sexual assault and harassment. Stop telling women “Boys will be boys.” Stop telling women to wear more clothing or drink less. Stop telling women they shouldn’t go to the bathroom alone at a bar. Stop it.

Shouldn’t we just be telling boys to keep their hands to themselves?