Paralyzed Man Lowered Through Hole In Roof Of Chick-Fil-A In Hopes Of Being Healed

ONTARIO, CA—The stories about Chick-fil-A employees' miraculous healing powers have spread far and wide. From employees saving people from choking to raising the dead, it's unclear how much is legend and how much is fact.

But one paralyzed man, desperate for healing, went to great lengths to be healed by a Chick-fil-A manager: he had his friends cut a hole in the roof of the restaurant and lower him down, allowing him to bypass the massive crowds and lengthy line so that he might be healed.

"Friend, your chicken sandwich is on us today," said the manager as the man was lowered right in front of the cash register. "It's my pleasure."

Several LGBT rights activists were there, though, eating on their lunch break. They scoffed and thought to themselves, "Who is this Chick-fil-A manager who thinks he can just spread reckless hate without consequences? He must be canceled."

The manager, knowing what they were thinking, replied, "Which is easier: to say 'My pleasure' or to say 'Get up and walk'? But we want you to know that Chick-fil-A has power over hunger, paralysis, sickness, disease, and even the hateful LGBT lobby." So the manager told the paralyzed man to get up and walk. Immediately he stood up and went over to the dining area to enjoy his combo meal. Everyone was amazed and ordered even more Chick-fil-A.

But the LGBT rights activists went out and began to plot against him.

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