Photo:Courtesy

Romance is risky for men. The right relationship can be the best or worst thing to happen to a man. Either of the situations can ruin a man.

Ask any man who lost his shirt in an ugly confrontation or was trapped with an abusive woman because staying was easier than leaving.

Good men need to manage romantic risk the way good investors manage monetary risk. That’s especially true on college campuses, where the safest course for men may be to avoid dating classmates altogether.

In 2014, Columbia University student Emma Sulkowicz, became famously known as Mattress Girl, after she paraded around campus carrying a mattress after she publicly accused fellow student Paul Nungesser of sexually assaulting her.

Her mattress exhibition appears to have been performance art representing the burden of injustice born by all college women; her accusation appears to have been false.

The accusations were found to be false. Nungesser provided the court with extensive, detailed evidence that Sulkowicz’s rape allegation was false, and that it was an act of retaliation after he broke up with her.

I’m certain this scenario has been replayed many kilometres from US back her at home, hundreds of times. Although perhaps the litigation levels may not be high, but the frustrations and the gnashing of the teeth is quite prevalent. Photo:Courtesy

I remember in my university days, a girl that my pal Stevo was dating in second year. Valentine’s Day that year, fell on a Saturday and Stevo had big plans for her.

But she would have none of it, instead insisting that she needed to visit her parents over that weekend. This left a heartbroken young man with a bill of flowers that he had already ordered and paid for, days before the big day.

As fate would have it, on that evening I happened to be in one of the entertainment spots in the city and behold, Stevo’s girl was at the corner kissing a guy who looked like a well sought out after bouncer or body builder. The guy was kissing her so intensely, it is like he was trying to suck her intestines out!

I texted Stevo and advised him to establish if indeed his girl had travelled to shags or had come to town to be shagged. He came and joined me.

I prevailed upon him not to be stupid otherwise this Goliath would make mincemeat out of us. On her way to the cloakroom, Stevo stood up and said hey, she froze and we left the club at that juncture.

When Stevo dumped her, she spread cheap rumours in the campus that his bedroom performances were wanting. Photo:Courtesy

There’s an important risk-management lesson here for college men. Had Nungesser or Stevo dated a non-student and kept his sex life off campus, this sort of retaliation would have gone no further than the police who saw through the false accusation.

Unfortunately, they dated a woman in an environment saturated with rules and ideology that place men at serious disadvantage.

Here’s the takeaway: Dating a vindictive woman is a mistake any man can make. But dating a vindictive woman on campus is a tactical error any man can avoid.

It’s unfortunate, but college is no longer a place where men should learn to navigate romantic relationships with women. There are too many youthful mistakes to be made, and the cost of errors can be devastating.

Stories abound of young men who have faced baseless accusations of sexual assault and been denied due process. Their reputations and their prospects suffer as a result.

Further, women in college find it more ‘valuable’ in dating moneyed men with low libido instead of dating a fellow student who is broke as a church mouse but as strong as a stud.

As for the bouquet of flowers that Stevo had pre-ordered for Valentine’s Day, we planted it in the university gardens. Oh, cry for the beloved boy child.

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