Satire

Psyber Dreamz organiser Jean Jensen has announced the long-running NSW music festival will feature a music lineup comprised entirely of pay-per-use police officers this year.

“I couldn’t afford to spend hundreds of thousands on securing a police presence, while also paying for a full programme of artists and DJs,” Ms Jensen told Dreamland Magazine.

“Fortunately, after long discussions with the NSW Police Union, we were able to secure some of the best psytrance, house, drum & bass and dubstep producers to ever put on a blue uniform. It’s certainly set to be an ‘arresting’ lineup!” she said.

Psyber Dreamz 2019 will feature big names, including Major Tazer, DJ Arresto, and David Guetta-on-the-ground.

Ms Jensen said she’s also put measures in place to avoid repeating the infamous 2015 Siren Sounds fiasco, where Senior Constable/house producer DJ Lokk-Up asked the audience, “How many of ya’ll rolling on that molly right now?”, before proceeding to stop his set short and arrest everyone who’d raised their hand.

Industry insiders estimate police artists will make up 80% of NSW music festival lineups within the next 5 years.

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