The truth is out there and apparently David Duchovny is trying to find the truth in Gillian Anderson’s punane. Nerds are jizzing themselves into a coma after Celeb Dirty Laundry said yesterday that Gillian and her kids are living with sexaholic David Duchovny in Los Angeles. Crazy Days and Nights recently revealed that his “two sort of married co-stars are living together” blind item from 2011 was about Gillian and David. This probably not true rumor will make some of your nipples hard with excitement, but my nipples will only get hard with excitement when Celeb Dirty Laundry posts a story about how one of my favorite TV couples, Beecher and Keller from OZ, are shacking up together in an apartment that looks like a jail cell.

Gillian recently broke up with her partner of a million years and David and Tea Leoni broke up for good last year. CDL doesn’t say much about this rumor except that Mulder and Scully have been exploring each other’s Uranuses for some time. They also point to an interview Gillian gave to The Sunday Times Magazine where she plays coy about having a full-time hump partner in her life:

I ask if she has a partner at the moment. Her answer is peculiar. “Um…yes…umm…umm…” There is a long pause. “Say yes,” she stutters finally.

Is this one we know about, I say, the father of the two youngest children, or a new one? “Umm, no, no… why do you ask me?” she counters.

If you still want to believe, then plug your eyes so you won’t have to read what David Duchovny’s spokeswhore said about this come-to-life fanfic shit. David’s rep broke nerd boners when they told Wonderwall that the rumor is fake.

So who is Gillian partnering up with then? My guess is that she’s shacking up with Flukeman. I mean, can you imagine the things that mouth can do?

Here’s David carrying some Chinese takeout in L.A. the other day. Yes, you can still write in your Mulder and Scully erotic fanfiction novel that he waltzed into his house and let Gillian eat lo mein noodles off his taint.