Today in the mail I got a mysterious package with a vat number on the side. Inside was a package straight out of the nineties, with a Ghost Rider-style flaming skull above copy that told me this was the DEATH NUT CHALLENGE PACK. It's a collection of peanuts cooked with increasingly dangerous-sounding assortments of peppers.

I told my santa that of late I've gained a taste for spice that I never had growing up, and that I have been trying and failing to find the limits of my tolerance.

If this can't help me find it, I don't know what can. The Death Nut, the spiciest on here, has "13 million Scoville capsaicin crystals." In addition to the 2X Carolina Reaper and the Moruga Scorpion.

And this thoughtful, intimidating gift, this... well, probably upcoming weekday evening snack or challenge with friend... I'm told this is only part one of my gift. I can't wait to get part two and update my thank-you note.

I'll keep you in my thoughts, Santa, long after the hospital bills get collected.