I have dated two men, and have had sexual encounters with three.

I have been…

abused

name called

raped (coerced into sex when I was 14, a month and a half into dating a 17 y/o)

threatened with physical abuse/violence for shit as trivial as wearing leggings or wanting to join an extra choir

had death wished upon me

controlled (clothes, sex, curfew, when to see friends)

yelled at for pretty much nothing

choked

degraded

made fun of (in front of his friends)

been told that I fail as a latina because there are white girls that got a booty and hips and I’m over with nothing

been told that puerto rican men have needs, and a shitty Mexican body can’t do that, but a thick white girl, a black girl or another puerto rican girl can.

had racist jokes made towards me and my parents

been told mexican girls taste dirty when you kiss them, unlike white girls who taste like milk but eventually he’d “get used to it” (w/e the fuck that means???)

had my body hair made fun of

basically, I’ve been compared to white girls who can do a latinas job cause they have a more latina body than me, and other hispanic girls who actually “look right” unlike me.

cheated on

been compared to my friends in terms of body shape, size and proportions and how my friends are hotter

been told he thinks about my friends during sex and forced to have sex

been told he jacks off to my friends

purposely triggered (I have mental illnesses)

being called a crazy/ps*cho cunt/bitch

body shamed

food policed

body policed (ie; you’ve put on a lot of weight, don’t let yourself go, we’re not married, get dolled up you’re not trying)

slut shamed (called a wh*re and a slut for wearing leggings but forced to wear thongs when I came over)

gaslighted

groomed

harrassed

fat shamed

got threatened with breaking up b/c I don’t “take care of myself” and wear makeup and stuff and look like a slob compared to other girls

and probably even more shit than that.

Men are gonna look at this and say “ohh well you’ve only been with three guys!! there are so many prince charmings and you went for the three worst men ever”

well ya know what? I don’t wanna fucking date 1000 men till I find the “good ones.” I’ve had some of the most traumatic experiences of my life with in men’s mind “only 3 men” and in my mind, “100% of the men I’ve been involved with” and that is 100% too much.

I’ve only been involved with two women, and even my bad experience with a woman is waaaay better than any I’ve had with a guy. The one other woman (aka my gf) is literally the best and healthiest relationship I could ask for.

I DON’T think that’s coincidence.

I don’t care if all men in the world aren’t like that, but all the men in MY world were like that.

and that’s why “Not all men” is fucking BULLSHIT.