The question of whether life was intelligently designed or evolved over billions of years has been a major point of contention since Darwin’s On The Origin Of Species was first published in the mid-19th century. Here are the strongest arguments from each side of this ongoing and heated debate:

CREATIONISM

Evolutionary theory rests on precepts set out by old, obsolete book written over a hundred years ago

Scientifically corroborated by numerous peer-reviewed Facebook posts

Banana flawlessly designed for use as fake phone

Bible verses about molecular mutation and generational metamorphosis in allele frequencies clearly allegorical

Nine electoral votes in Alabama

Results of natural selection experiments have only been reproduced a few thousand times in a laboratory

Archaeopteryx way too awesome to have evolved into shitty birds of today

Far easier to understand than evolution

EVOLUTION

Personal feud with God

Saw frog evolve from pollywog

Distinct morphological similarities between ancient Neanderthal and Trent

Nice to think we actually distantly related to family dog

Want to see how much more upright next figure in evolutionary chart will be standing

That one Star Trek: Voyager episode where helmsman Tom Paris goes through rapid evolution

Dazzling oratorical genius of Clarence Darrow

Universe was created out of nothing billions of years ago, which you’ll just have to trust us on