So here we are at the tail end of an extended episode gap, and yeesh, what a break. The always-amazing Rooster Teeth Extra Life twenty four hour livestream has come and gone - but not gone from our hearts, miss you Cheese Master - and the RWBY fandom is all kinds of ready to get a new episode. But before we get there, there’s a recap for the last one to get to, and here it is! This week, we have pirates and vampires, and someone becomes the biggest meme in Remnant since lolgrimmcats. And yes, there’s some recent controversy, the biggest since the rhyming recap incident of ‘13, that will be addressed. Intrigued? Click the Keep Reading to dive right in. Also hey, want to catch up on older recaps? Be sure to check out the V3 Recap Masterpost, yeah? Cool cool, let’s do it.

Man, I don’t know about you all, but I still feel hungover from the livestream. And all the drinking I did the night before the livestream. Hmm. But anyways, I’d like to start by giving a big thanks to all those who read, liked, commented and shared last week’s recap. We come from all corners of the world then go into more corner-y corners of the internet, yet we still manage to converge here every week to have a laugh or two, and I think that’s pretty amazing. Hell, we converge on so many places, and sometimes we don’t know that people who converge at one place are also in others you go, maybe at the same time, maybe at a different time, maybe in different place mentally, maybe feeling just the same… Neat, huh. I wonder how many of them are still thinking about the origin of popcorn…

PREVIOUSLY ON RWBY :: We start off as Ruby is catching up with her mother by her grave, and then jump into the full swing of the fabled Vytal Festival Tournament. Team RWBY takes on Team ABRN, whose title characters abilities are far too overmatched, and they are obliterated by a combination of witty one-liners and Yang straight up hitting them out of the timeline. Afterwards, the quest for sustenance is delayed by Emerald, as usual scheming with her scheming team of scheming schemers, and then Weiss’s character arc for the season starting nice and early. Team JNPR come to the rescue, to their eventual regret, as they are about to go to battle with Team Bronze… Right now, in fact.

Both teams begin the battle with a classic charge 'n scream tactic, except one, who takes cover in the forest biome on one side of the stadium.

May Zedong, everyone’s favourite beanie girl, is really the only one that matters here, let’s be real. She’s the sniper-y kind of sniper and not the Ruby kind of sniper, and boy, she knows how to earn her paycheck. Oh, and also, her name was confirmed in the Afterbuzz interview with Kerry and Miles, and as a personal note let me say my relief that all BRNZ’s names aren’t more Arslan Chloera Shtako types. And hey, at least there’s no Basque names in there!

The rest of her team - Brawnz Zi the leader with the claws, Nolan Porfirio with the cattleprod, and Roy Stallion with the infinitely spawning buzzsaws - are basically her minions here, and it’s their job to destroy the opponents after she herds them with her rifle.

JNPR tries to stick to the plan -

- but cannot. Not for the lack of trying, even in their tactical retreat.

We’re unaware just what exactly Jaune’s plan for the team was before the battle, but it’s gone now. Jaune seems the type destined to become the strategist type of team leader instead of a fighter, and while he’s certainly has his moments, guy’s got a ways to go. As we’ll see soon.

Jaune does successfully order his team to spread out, keep moving, which only puts them in May’s sights, and then Nolan’s prod into Ren’s stomach.

Boy, after watching Michael Jones get taser’d this weekend, can’t look at this the same, can we! At least there’s no barbs to pull out, yeesh.

Knocking down Ren - always with the knocking down of Ren - unleashes the Nora on Nolan, who very quickly makes a crucial mistake.

See, we’re learning just now that Nora’s semblance is that she channels electricity straight into her muscles and stuff. She is Frankenstein’s monster, baby. And she’s alive.

Or, well, obviously this makes sense 'cause of her mythological basis of Thor, but when I first saw it, you know what I thought? The first boss from Final Fantasy Six, the Whelk. Side note, they changed his name to Ymir in the GBA version, and now that name belongs to a lesbian titan… Get it together, Whelkmir.

Nolan goes flying, but not out of the ring. No real help to JNPR, yet certainly helps us figure out another pesky Semblance! You’re next, Ren. Then Torchwick. Then Jaune. And folk are still confused about Weiss's… Eh we’ll get to it. For now, Jaune gets another successful leader moment when he sees a gathering thunderstorm nearby…

While Nora runs for it, Ren is put on distraction duty for May, and Jaune goes toe to toe with Roy Stallion’s saw blades. To great result.

Great result! P-Money covers his back - no super real sign of her Semblance being used, oddly, otherwise May’s bullets might get curved back into her face - and some familiar faces in the crowd cheer them on.

As that goes on, Ren gets some petty revenge by running towards and nabbing Nolan, using him as a meat shield for May’s rifle.

If only he knew that May never really cared for Nolan, and if those cameras weren’t rolling… Hoo boy. Different outcome. For now she sees through the plan and aims for Nora, which allows Jaune to get another successful order in.

Three for three! Dude’s doing good; he’s able to boost Pyrrha up and have her shield take May’s sniper round instead of Nora, who’s now in place for a little bit of ACDC’s Thunderstruck. Hmm. Maybe they should’ve called it Lightningstruck. More accurate.

Charged, Nora unleashes her grenade launcher’s full load in May’s general direction. Yeouch.

Her cover now ruined by smoke and fire and general “Nora Valkyrie Waz Here” destruction, May is forced out of the tree. Score one for JNPR.

But now comes the fun part. Nora bashes May’s teammates towards her, and the stage is set for JNPR to take the victory!

Except for that one thing. That one thing where the communication barriers between leader and team have failed. Pyrrha, Nora and Ren did not watch that one episode last year, it seems. Don’t know why they would, not like they were in it…

So Jaune is using codenames for his plays, same as Ruby. I like to think that they actually came up with the partner name technique together in one of their weekly leadership retreats, which usually take place in a pillow fort they made, but then they had their weekly leadership chocolate chip cookie eating competition. Ruby, a veteran cookie eater, was able to survive the sugar-induced coma to get her team onboard. Jaune, however, forgot to. Whoops.

He should’ve gone for Plan Gamma, to be honest. That’s the one where he declares his eternal love for Weiss and hope that she’s so overcome she comes to rescue him. Or let him die in her arms. Either or.

Jaune scrambles like a right proper carton of eggs to explain ship names to his befuddled team members. Spoiler: they ain’t having it. JNPR’s too good for all that nonsense.

Well, to be fair to them, the most popular ship names for their main pairings are just portmanteau names. Renora and Arkos. Nothing super creative compared to their cousins. Hell, do we even have names for Jaune/Nora, Jaune/Ren, P-Money/Ren or Nora/P-Money? We’re the RWBY fandom, of course we do, but still.

The argument goes on…

And then Pyrrha’s asking for clarification on hers and Jaune’s name seems to take on this “hey are we dating yet? I’m not entirely sure” undercurrent with a side order of hesitation and tension…

But we don’t have time for that, see! There’s an entire stadium watching them bicker, not to mention the team opposite.



I really loved this moment, gotta say. For obvious reasons these lower staked fights are taking more of a comedic route this year, in the vein of Red Vs Blue’s, and this here is an instant classic.

Like, I really love Team JNPR. I know I’ve said it before, and I know that I sound as drunk as Gus when I do, but they’ve got a gravitas. A whacky gravitas. A whackitas. It’s hard to explain, but it’s just a pleasant dynamic that’s different enough from RWBY’s that I want to see more of it, y'know? Even as BRNZ interrupts them they remain whacky.

Not sure why BRNZ didn’t just shoot them; guess we’re in RvB territory here.

But they’re not pacified by the impromptu team meeting and ship rebranding going on - they must not be football fans, 'cause damn there’s a lot of strategic drink breaks and knee taking involved there - and demand that they resume the fight like real fighting fighters would.

Speaking of instant classics…

The face. Jaune. Buddy. Bro. J-Roll. Bud. Jaune. Buddy. Brah. Jaune.

Bless the RWBY animation team’s facial works, man. MVP for Jaune’s face. A+, 10/10. would giggle for an hour at 4am over those screencaps again. That middle one just now looks ready to digivolve into a great shoopdawhoop gif.

Pyrrha, Pyrrha-y that she is, has to anchor Major TomJaune down some by reminding him that hey, they are in a fight. And they should be fighting.

And that Jaune should be happy with a four out of five orders followed ratio.

Swing batter batter. And they are OUTTA HERE. Ringout TKO. JNPR becomes Win-iper.

Thank you, JNPR. Bless your contributions to this show and recap, and now it’s time to go for a trip across town.

Inside this hole in the wall, a lone patron sips at his drink, a kindred spirit to writers everywhere. But who is he? Well, casual viewers who only watch the show and haven’t been keeping up with the news have no clue. Which, I mean, imagine their faces for a moment when they see this arsehole saunter up, drunken swagger and all, to Ruby and Yang and they cry, “Uncle Qrow!” Just imagine the look on their faces for a moment. Just c'mon.

Qrow Branwen. There he is, the man, the myth, the legend. In the very first episode we met Ruby, Torchwick, Ozpin, Glynda, Yang, Jaune, Abe Frohman, and got a glimpse of Cinder, but there was a man we only heard tell of. The uncle who taught Ruby how to use her scythifle. Since then we’ve learnt he is actually more Yang’s uncle through her mother Raven - Raven and Qrow, gee I wonder if their parents liked birds or not - and Ruby’s sorta uncle-adopted him on account of him and Taiyang Xiao Long being the only present members of their team from way back who decided to raise the two girls. We’ve all been waiting for a little Qrow - if only for some tales of the past - and here he is! Getting sloshed! Awesome way to start, man. Oh, and Qrow is voiced by voice actor veteran Vic Mignogna - Edward Elric holla - who’s been at the centre of a controversy or two on account of all the arguments about the true spelling of his last name. Is Mignogna a lie and its true form is the most eldritch Mngnignia? We’ll never know.

But we will know that Qrow’s enjoyment of his drink is being totally ruined by bar television, as it is with most people.

Side note: the bartender is voiced by Markus Horstemeyer, an Indiegogo backer of Rooster Teeth’s Lazer Team and pledged to get his cameo. Neato!

Not that Qrow cares. He only has one love. Pina Colada. But he’s embarrassed to actually order it, so he sticks with other drinks. You’ll get there one day, good buddy.

Meanwhile, back at the stadium, commentator Professor Oobleck recaps the last battle.

Hey Oob? Buddy? Recapping is my job. Stay outta my territory.

The epic saga of JNPR Vs The Bronze Age over with - tune in next time for Iron! - it’s time to move on to the next bout.

Hmm. Any bets who’s fighting? Wait, you’ve all already seen the episode and know? Well I’m the guy writing this recap and I’m on the edge of my seat here, so no spoilers.

Is it time? Truly? Time for the gun show? Ayyyyyyyy.

Team SSSN. Pronounced “sun”, but the correlation to “sin” can not and should not be denied. After last year’s lack of two of those S members, we’re about to see them in fully animated action. I’ll cover Sage and Scarlet in time, but for now there’s Sun and Neptune. Sun Wukong, voiced by human punching bag Michael Jones, and Neptune Vasilis, voiced by RWBY Director Kerry Shawcross, are a little double act we saw in play last year, who tested well with the 13-26 demographic enough to bring back . What’s there to know about 'em? They’re hot, Sun’s got a tail, Neptune’s got insecurities and an endless stash of blue hair dye, and they were cops for a while. Sage and Scarlet, on the other hand, were stuck on the moon. The other side Adam wasn’t stuck on. Their side was better.

SSSN’s opponent? These lovely ladies from Vacuo, and yes, that’s another new team from Vacuo. Shaping up to be the Weasley family of the kingdoms, apparently.

Team NDGO. Another result of the Indiegogo campaign - Team Indiegogo amirite - this time for an entire team’s design, and this time courtesy of the Event Horizon - great movie, by the way - Cosplay group. Not only are they voiced by the four members of the group, the characters’s designs are inspired by the girls themselves, which will come in hella handy come next con season. Although, they maybe shouldn’t enter any cosplay competitions as their own characters, for fear of that Charlie Chaplin story happening again… Hmm. Oh, and they’ve also got a group tumblr set up if you want to drop by and say hi and tell 'em how amazing these designs are. 'Cause they are; easily the best out of the three new teams, and the kind you want to see again. From left to right up there the team’s members are Dew Gayl, Gwen Darcy, Octavia Ember, and leader Nebula Violette. And while it’s unknown if we will in fact ever see them again, they certainly made a great first impression in this coming fight.

They also made one on Neptune right away.

So much so that he stops waving to the crowd, a cheering Weiss included. Ruh roh.

Weiss… does not react well.

This little sequence is a continuity nod to their whole thing from last year, but there could be something to it beyond, duh, the joke. Like, it’s possible that it’s is a goodbye to the idea of Neptune/Weiss? I mean, Weiss has a thing for him, but Neptune is Neptune and Neptune is silly, and with Weiss’s character arc turning towards her family, it could be that this little aside joke is the quiet death of her crush so we can see her focus on other things. Maybe? Probably not? No complaints either way; it’s a teenage-y thing that could go as easily as it came and could still come back again years later, and not like there’s an immense Ryan and Meg level chemistry between the two for the viewers to lose at this moment…

I like to think the wub wub wubs are saying, “WATCH FREE PLAY IT’S GREAT.” Ah well, enough of that, time for a fight. Or, well, more Neptune being Neptune.

THEN a fight. The battlefield is chosen, this time being a half sunny desert and mushroom pizza -

- and half a beach and pirate ship with extra sausage. Which Neptune reacts to as well as Weiss did to his flirting. It’s like a spin cycle of reactions!

It’s now we’re learning that Neptune’s insecurities run deeper than just not being able to dance and not knowing his left from his right. He is afraid of water. With an ironic name like Neptune, he must’ve been born in that one business district, huh.

So, confirmed: Neptune is a noodle, but he is not a pool noodle, and it was racist of you to assume as much. Also, it’s Blake that tells her team this information, which I really loved because we know there’s only one way she learnt that, and that’s from Sun Junior. So they’ve been hanging out and gossiping in a pillow fort next to Ruby and Jaune’s, I’d wager. Neptune and Weiss had a pillow fort once, that Neptune built, but then Weiss tried to give him a glass of water to drink and Neptune fled, screaming in terror. And now we know why.

The world must know he died prettier than Ren ever would! Also, the battle begins inauspiciously, on account of Neptune running for the driest and highest land he could find.

Good luck settling in a desert territory, dude, JNPR’s Plan Omega ain’t for you.

Thankfully, NDGO ain’t no BRNZ, and they don’t wait for SSSN to get their act together. They charge 'n scream, with Dew Gayl coming up against the swolest of all spices.

Sage Ayana. Sorry ladies, he’s taken; Lex called dibs on that boy long before the very creation of the known universe, and it took this long for civilisation to develop the necessary culture and language and internet to allow her to finally tell us sometime last year. We’ve learnt from the Extra Life stream that her man’s inspiration alludes to Aesop or one of his fables, and that Aesop was a sage from Thrace, so, y'know, big deal? Also, a sage is not only a herb but a wise man, and one of my favourite Fire Emblem classes (Thrace. Thracia 776. Coincidence?!)… I mean what. His last name, Ayana, is based on a Hindu epic, too. This guy’s name is essentially Fables Epic, so we can dig it. He also has a sword. It’s big. It’s cool. It swings. Yeah. Oh, and he’s voiced by Gauntlet runner up - hey it got him a job so we gotta mention it - Josh Ornelas who, again, looks close enough for some hella cosplay to happen in the future. C'mon Josh you know you want to!

Unfortunately, for the sake of our society not totally just stopping to watch him in action, Sage is quickly taken out of action in this fight. Thanks to Dew Gayl and her whacky tornado-creation skills.

Dew, Nolan… Obscure Fire Emblem names everywhere! Oh, and there goes Sage.

Ouch. It’s okay guys, he’s headed for a better place.

Aka the fandom, where he’ll be the star of many adventures. Epic and fabled ones. Sage’s Odyssey. Hop on it, universe.

The tornadoes take Sage clear and out of the ring, taking SSSN down to SSN. Or SSN. It’s not clear which S is which and as such, which SSN is right. Life is hard and confusing. But, to their credit, SSN - ugh, SSN, got it wrong again - rally back. Sun Jr uses his mother to cover him coming him and kicking Octavia something fierce.

And when she retorts by kicking up a cloud of dust, Neptune comes down off his rock to Nancy Sinatra her.

Sun Jr KOs Octavia with a little Kiss Kiss Ruyi Bang Jingu Bang, and the playing field is evened. When Dew Gayl summons another Aeroga, she plans to send one more S off to Neverland, but he is no stranger to a Tornadoe or two, and flies away!

Scarlet David. Oh boy, Scarlet David. We all had our headcanons about this character, same as Sage, but were any of us truly prepared for when the familiar accent of Gavin “Creative Director Here” Free emerged from his mouth? No, no we were not. Scarlet draws inspiration from the sequel to Peter Pan, called Peter Pan In Scarlet (Not to be confused with the other sequel Peter Pan In Fifty Shades Of Scarlet). In that book, Peter goes full pirate, which’d certainly explain the cutlass and flintlock and awesome coat combo. The last name David comes from - another Extra Life confirmation - the younger brother of the author of the book, though humorously it’s also Gavin Free’s middle name. Good times.

So Scarlet in action is pretty fun, if only for the amazing sea shanty music, which you can listen to straight from the composer right here. Makes me want to take to the high seas and hunt down whales, it does. Probably shouldn’t, but it does. And now we know that.

He’s crossing swords with Nebula the whole time, having the time of his life, and eventually manages to knock her down.

Speaking of pirates and the vampire I mentioned earlier, has there ever been pirate vampires in media? Like, I get that they’d have some trouble sailing or whatever, but I mean c'mon there’s plenty of media where vampires have day-walking familiar human slaves. Which, I mean, back in pirating days they probably had regular slaves already. So maybe pirates were all vampires all along? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I’m just spinning what’ll eventually become Pirates Of The Caribbean 7: Blood On The Seas. Savvy?

… Oh right, the battle. Scarlet saves Sun Jr’s butt some by using his hookshot flintlock to hoist up Gwen Darcy, who, as it turns out, has a skirt made out of knives that like to abide by he rules of gravity. Which, again, amazing design. Must be hell for airport security, but great if you have an impromptu steak party!

With Gwen and Nebula briefly out of commission, Dew - the fave - takes over and goes straight for Sun Jr, who can only stare in horror…

And then pick up some coconuts and lob them at her. They are then lobbed back. Into Scarlet. Top kek, as the kids say.

The action completely obliterates the remains of Scarlet’s Aura, and with him goes the pirate music. We hardly knew ye, yarrgh.

Scarlet’s in Davy Jones’s Locker, so it’s looking pretty grim. Sun Jr, stranded on the ocean biome side of the field, has but one last resort.

In the background, Nebula and Gwen get into position… and Neptune is ignoring orders like some traded Pokemon before Sun Jr got the right gym badge.

But sometimes, a miracle happens. Shocking the world, Neptune manages to get himself together, and fight his fear by shocking NDG’s world.

Oh baby a triple! That’s another shoutout to my fellow survivors of this year’s Extra Life stream. We who survived that storm became changed souls, didn’t we? I’ve got three of those things under my belt, and every year is like another split personality being developed, each composed entirely of new memes and jokes…

Sidebar: So I know a guy who complained about how some of RWBY Volume One felt a bit much like an After School Special, with like Jaune’s arc there just as a “bullying is bad” story. Those complaints dropped after the first volume, but now I have to get in touch to see if he caught the stealthy Electricity And You! special going on here. This episode we’ve learnt valuable things such as Nora being able to absorb electricity, and how water and electricity mixed together is bad! So don’t do that at home kids, and now go back to firing off your gun guns in peace. Join us next week for the very special episode where Cinder’s evilness turns out to be because of a dust addiction, and RWBYJNPR are forced to throw an intervention!

Well, regardless, the battle is over, and SSSN has won. Somehow. Raw sexual magnetism? Maybe, but Sage was knocked out a bit too early to credit that.

Meanwhile, across town…

While the bartender - he needs a name. Another Abe, we think? Maybe a Phineasberg if he’s secretly evil - thought that was a right good show, Qrow did not. While he is probably nearing that stage of drunkenness where you’re contrary just for the sake of it, maybe there’s another reason…

For example, maybe he sees a tournament full of happy kids fighting with no stakes and thinks about how one of his teammates is dead and his sister is missing/presumed dead, and how bitter he is that the war’s coming and that more kids, like his nieces, are sure to be facing the darkness soon. He works with Ozpin, we know that from a while back, so he’s probably more than aware that Cinder’s evil plans are getting more plans-y by the day…

Ah well. For now, Qrow’s real reason for being in town is revealed in the form of a fancy airship flying by. Mystery~

Or not. His drunken gait on the way out, tho. Man, he’s wasn’t just enjoying a drink, he’s proper mullered. I know we shouldn’t jump to conclusions so quickly, especially on these recaps, but damn I hope he’s actually a perpetual drunk. It’d explain so much about why he agreed to teach a teenage girl how to use the most dangerous weapon in existence next to the nuclear boomerang and the dreaded freshly-clean bar glass.

RUN MAN RUN IT’S GOING TO EXPLODE.

… Back to the stadium now.

Where RWBY celebrates SSSN’s close call and their uneventful afternoon.

Down in the battlefield - which smells of something like fried chicken now - Sun Jr and Neptune’s victory dances end in a cute little shoutout from Sun Jr to a blushing Blake, and, by sheer coincidence, it’s time for me to address the pressing controversy I mentioned at the start. Yes, it’s time. I have been silent on this matter for far too long. The world will not turn a single inch until I get this off my chest.

Okay. Here we go. The controversy. Of a lifetime. Right now. Doing it live. Let’s go. It’s the dress. The dress. Guys, after much and deep thought, it’s been decided. The dress is black and blue. Black. And. Blue. Y'all have to let it go, white and golders. I’m so sorry. I know it hurts, but I’m here for you. Okay? Okay.

Phew. Glad we got that over with. That’s a big load off. My soul is cleansed. At first it was dark, but now it is light. Whew. Anyhoo, with the opening two episodes’s fights done - see you in like two weeks, stadium! - it’s time for Team RWBY to pile on out… But not before one last intrigue.

Weiss’s eye is drawn to a certain ship, the very same Qrow was planning to get into a tussle with, and we all know who’s onboard…

Next episode. Schneebowl. Get Hype.

GET. HYPE.

So, next episode predictions? Well, unless her plane suddenly gets grounded by another four fight scenes, I imagine we’ll met Winter. Exactly one volume after we first learned she existed, too, neato. After we meet her, Qrow’ll enter the scene, like a drunk uncle at a Thanksgiving, and try to defeat the vampire queen, like a drunk uncle at Christmas. Don’t know what else is up. The tournament’s probably on the back end for an episode or two, let other pieces get moving. Might mean we get to see some familiar faces again. Like Penny! I miss that rowbot. And Torchwick, if my ritual whale sacrifices have paid off. CFVY would be nice, but let’s not hold our breath. Also think we might be JNPR-free for a week or two, just a hunch.

No one else springs to mind, really, and now, this recap comes to an end. What a strange journey this has been. What’s the world got in store for us next? I don’t know, but if you want to share your life experience with this recap in various forms - likes, reblogs, sharing, commenting on it when it pops up on some cool forums - be sure to do so!

Even if you do, even if you don’t, even if you whatever, I just hope y'all enjoyed it, and thanks for reading!

Also, song choice for this week is something that might come in handy for Weiss next episode. Knock 'em undead, Weiss.