Summary from Fictionpress:

First contact has damaged the fragile psyche of humanity and turned the sea of stars into a place of unknowable terror. For generations, they avoid contact with the unknown, but eventually they summon the courage to confront the universe.

Foreword for reddit:

This is my second version of chapter one. This will be my last posting on reddit for a while because I don't want to flood it. For now, please tell me what you think.

Foreword for Fictionpress:

This is a novel length story that needs your feedback to help me make it worthwhile. Anyone who reviews will be replied to directly in the foreword of future chapters. Please enjoy.

Few exact dates are remembered throughout history. The day a war starts or ends does not matter a hundred wars down the road. The day a country is born does not matter a hundred years after its fall. Even the traumatic days, the ones that change everyone all at once, are not traumatic to those who are born afterward. And so dates fade into history. After a time we all forget the demons and victories of the past and dream of the promise of the future.

March 15th, 2337 was not such a date. Those who came after would not dream of promise. If they could, they would willingly give their all to have time move backwards and give them a future that would lead them all the way back to the African jungle. They would dream of March 14th.

Worlds of Pellegrin

"So what is the universe?" Mathew asked.

"The 'universe' is everything we know to exist. A long time ago, the universe that we knew of was the Earth. Now we know a lot more but the places we have seen is just a tiny, tiny part of what exists. I guess technically this place is part of the universe too, but you can't see even the part of it we can from inside here. Think of living your entire life inside a house with no windows or doors. The house exists as part of the universe, but for the person in the house, universe means house. This is the house. Understand?"

"I think so. You're basically saying that there is much more humans know about existence than we do and there is much more still that humans have to learn about existence. That probably means that there is much more humans don't know that they have to learn too. It is just a bigger house with no doors or windows. Is that true?" Mathew asked.

"Yes, that's mostly true. We certainly don't know what mysteries await us out there. Your house and your world is indeed inside an even larger house where I'm from. Humans built both so we know what's inside and what we expect to find in all the many rooms even if you don't. However, outside the big house is another place that we didn't create and does not belong to us. A place that's dark and dangerous, mysterious and endless. It is a place where we do not belong and our bodies were never built to survive. If we try to step out of our house, it would kill us in several ways within minutes. And in that dark and deadly place, we are not alone. Powerful and strange beings stalk the shadows and one day, if we aren't careful, they will destroy all the houses and all the people in them. That's what the universe is."





March 14th, 2337

The tall grasses whipped and bit against his legs as Caius ran flat out through the fields. It was the sort of run where all the anxiety and stress of a lifetime would melt down out of your chest and heart, and power your legs with the raw will to run. As if maybe by beating your feet hard enough into the ground and digging deep enough into the soil, you could crush all life's problems into dust and leave it a million strides behind you.

Caius refused to let his body stop him. Pushing his muscles to the limit through the pain and fatigue was giving him a peace, a high. The more he felt it, the more he yearned for a bigger taste. He was running to nowhere and running from nowhere. All that existed was the need to move as fast as a human could move, and then just a little harder still.

The fields quickly turned to wild meadows and the wild meadows then gave way to grassy foothills. The ever steeper inclines wore him closer to his limit. Just a little further, he told himself. The terrain was a blur in his periphery as he pushed into an even faster sprint. As he reached the crest of the next hill, he saw in the distance a single lonely tree blooming in early spring flowers.

Without a destination in mind, his legs had brought himself to this, his personal sanctuary in the wilderness. Since he was young, Caius had always admired and identified with the great tree. Alone and unafraid, it watched over verdant meadows below, surrounded by only the softly swaying grasses without any peer or companion. It was as if the giant tree had been transplanted from an entirely different and unfamiliar world long ago, and had only to grow here, and slowly mold the hill into its own paradise in solitude. Unknown and uncelebrated, it blossomed for a single and rare spring day in a shower of purple flowers that fell in sheets with every gust. It was a sight only Caius would see, and for him, it felt like a precious gift, and a confirmation of their bond.

Caius continued his sprint as far as the tree and ended his run. Exhausted, he let himself collapse under the shade on the bed of fallen petals and fought to catch his breath. His legs and chest felt of fire and he was covered in scratches, but with the stress out of his system, he doubted he had felt more relieved or content in his life than he did right then. His legs now useless, he could only manage to watch the rays of sunlight above dance through the blossoms in the gentle breeze, and contemplate the fortune of his presence in its beauty. Spent emotionally and physically, eventually his heavy eyelids closed, and sleep took him swiftly.

He stirred awake to find himself covered in the discarded petals. The sun was now setting, and rays of sunlight filtered through the few remaining blossoms of the lowest branches of the tree. It was suddenly hours later and Caius felt some regret for missing the afternoon. As Caius sat up and started to brush himself off, he noticed that the purple petals were dark and already wilting. Instantly, their beauty was shattered for him. That something so pure and perfect would suffer such a short and fleeting existence before withering and dying reminded Caius of his own mortality. Feeling himself covered in death, Caius quickly brushed the rest of the fast-wilting petals off him.

"Sorry for waking you." The voice from behind him caused Caius to flinch. The very last thing he had expected was an invasion of his private haven so far from home. He turned around to find Mathew Pellegrin sitting beside him, leaning against the tree. Though a few years younger and technically his responsibility as a guardian, he found Mathew to be the only person that he felt comfortable with for any length of time, and spent a greater and greater portion of his day here with him. Right then, though, the combination of the day's particular circumstances had made Caius irritable, even in this place, even with Mathew.

"How the hell did you find me?" Caius asked.

"I've know you came here for years, I just didn't bother you because you looked like you wanted to be alone. I come here too sometimes." Mathew caught a stay petal as it fell and played with it in his fingers. "Nice. I haven't seen the tree like this before. It's pretty."

"We're more than a half an hour's walk from the village, why did you come out here?"

At that, Mathew lowered his eyes and began fidgeting with the seams of his shorts for a bit before responding. "I heard you were out on a run, but you didn't come back."

"Just because I didn't come back? You could have left a message." Caius said.

Mathew shrugged. Caius watched him abandon scratching at the seams to begin tracing nervous patters in the dying petals with his fingers. "Um, Cai?" Mathew's voice was barely audible in the rustle of the breeze.

"Yes? What is it?" Mathew raised his head to look up at Caius. His fierce eyes were pleadingly, as if by trying hard enough, he could ask his question through them alone. Caius knew what the boy wanted him to say too.

For weeks he had never found the courage to answer his unspoken question, though he knew it was devastating the young boy. Now, Mathew's uncompromisingly expressive gaze was breaking his heart and he could no longer stand to face it. He broke the eye contact and turned instead to an unaccusing evening sunset.

Mathew sighed at this, which caused Caius to curse himself silently. "It's nothing, nevermind," Mathew said. "You staying for the festival tonight?"

"I'll stay for a little while." Every time of the seasonal festival, a guardian was supposed to evaluate his charge and determine where or not he or she was ready to be integrated into the larger world. Mathew was more than ready, and had been for several seasons now. Mathew could only be thinking of this when he had found Caius here. Just a little longer, Caius thought. Let's just enjoy one more afternoon of untainted innocence. Caius stood up and stretched the sleep out of his system. "Let's start walking back," he said. "The Festival starts at sundown right?" Without waiting for a reply, Caius began walking down the small footpath he had worn into the grasses over the years in the direction of the village.

After a moment, he could hear Mathew keeping pace behind him, but neither volunteered any conversation. Caius saw fit to let Mathew occupy himself with his thoughts for now, as he had his own to contemplate. The now setting sun drew long shadows through the meadow as they made their way to the small village the locals called Sebastian. The deepening twilight drew out the many fireflies that themselves would be enough in their number to light the way home along with the rising moon. Caius regarded the hues and tones of the sunset that boldly painted the sky and the few clouds. It was a brilliant sight, perhaps unnaturally so, he thought. Too much light was scattered, the reds too deep, the purple covered too much of the sky. It reminded Caius of the of the quickly dying tree blossoms. Short surreal moments of such rare and overwhelming beauty defined this place. They were strung together end on end, each one unique and precious, and so bold that it could never be ignored or taken for granted. Even the approaching night would fill the sky will millions of visible stars as the land would glow in cycles of bioluminescence. Tonight, this would start with the thousands of fireflies that already danced around them, but sometimes, on rare and unpredictable nights, all this was outdone by the Great Aurora that sent bright colorful ribbons of brilliant light on magnificent treks through the night sky. It reflecting even on the moon, and bathed the ground in changing colors for over half an hour. Caius would miss this place, he knew, maybe even more than Mathew.

Caius thought about how he was handling the situation. Even when he wasn't on a run, he was always running from something lately: the future, the past, his problems, his fears, even his happiness. He was beginning to run out of places to run to and it was getting a bit tiring to keep trying. He had long ago decided to integrate Mathew with the spring trials. All it took now was to summon the will to let go and tell him.

Caius stopped walking and came to a halt along the trail. Mathew regarded him curiously, but remained quiet. Sighing, Caius looked over at the setting sun as the last bit fell below the horizon over far away mountains. This caused a dramatic shadow to race across the meadows of the plains to herald the start of the night. He chose that moment to do something reckless and finally spit it out once and for all. "Mathew, do you want to hear about Amarilla?" Mathew's eyes widened. Speaking about Caius' world of Amarilla was generally forbidden and could only mean one thing.

"You mean. You mean you want me to. You want me to…" Caius let himself enjoy the rare gleeful stuttering of the near speechless boy. Mathew could not dare say the word lest he jinx it or in case this was all some misunderstanding or trick. Caius would have to say it clearly for him so that Mathew would know that indeed, this was the moment that would change his life forever.

"I think it's time we start integrating you, if you want," Caius said. He started on his way down the foothill again, leaving Mathew a few steps behind. As fun as his joyful reactions were to watch, Caius was not happy about taking this step and did not want to complicate things by letting Mathew pick up on his emotions.

Stunned by the turn of events, it took Mathew several moments to realize Caius was walking away from him. "Wait!" Mathew ran after Caius grinning from ear to ear and nearly tripping on the incline. "Yes! Yes, I want to hear about Amarilla. I want to integrate. I'll do whatever it takes Cai, I promise."

Caius felt that he owed the boy a chance to consider the full implications of what he was agreeing to. It was hard for him to imagine how the child could so easily cast away this place when even as a guest, perhaps because he was a guest, he was so conflicted. Turning around to face him, Caius put a hand on his shoulder and looked at him seriously. "Mathew, I want you to look around. This is your home. These beautiful meadows, the hills, the trees, the village, the sea and all you have here hold all of your memories. You grew up here and you have friends here. This place is like the perfect paradise humans have never known. You don't have to worry about struggle, suffering, or even death. You're so free here; freer than I'll ever be. Amarilla isn't like this place." Caius took a deep breath. "Once you start on this road, you can't ever return things to the way they were. You know that Mathew. I just want you to know and realize and appreciate that this is the biggest decision of your life, and no one is forcing you to do this. Perhaps you should take some time to think about that before you give me your final answer."

The purpose of a guardian was to prepare a charge for integration. It was the only reason Mathew had been given to Caius and this moment was to be the culmination of that effort. It would be a proud achievement for both of them. There were so few who were given guardians, and so few of those who made it to integration. Caius' reservations stemmed more from his love of Sebastian and personal apprehension towards change than any real threat that awaited Mathew. If he was to be fair, Caius knew Amarilla was just as wonderful place as could be expected, and for Mathew, it would be a place with an unending supply of fantastic marvels. However it was not uncommon for a charge to regret the decision of integration. There was no turning back so this had to be a decision Mathew was absolutely certain of, regardless of what Caius wanted.

They continued walked when Mathew did not immediately answer. The silence was beginning to draw out, causing Caius to get a little concerned, when Mathew finally spoke up. "Eight years." Mathew's voice was cracking. Caius turned around to find him in tears.

"Eight years?" Caius asked.

"That how long I've been dreaming of Amarilla, of different worlds, of everything." Mathew said. "I go to bed alone at night and all I'm left there to do is lie and think about is a different life; a life outside of here. A life where you're real Cai; where you don't disappear every day and where you even exist if I wanted to find you. I think about that stuff and I feel like the walls are closing in on me. Like I'm stuck in a cage where I'm powerless and useless and nothing matters and nothing is real. Do you know how it feels to be just left like that?"

"You disappear from my perspective too Mathew. This place is just as real as Amarilla, maybe even more real." Caius countered.

Mathew was openly sobbing now. "I know you think that, and maybe it's even true, but right now I'm just so damn stupid and ignorant. I don't know anything. I don't even understand the simplest concept and I can't even fit in my head what could possibly exist out there. And the older I get, and the longer I stay here, the more the gap between us will grow. I want to know what the universe is! Maybe I want to struggle and suffer. Maybe I even want to die, if at least it means something." Mathew took a moment and tried to compose himself a bit before finishing but could not stop the flood of tears. "Caius, this place is a prison. A pretty blue and green prison with no end, but still just a prison. I just want to see outside the walls, even just once. I want to know why I exist."

Calling this place a prison was akin to calling the entire planet Earth a prison and the vast majority were happy staying, but looking at Mathew's tearful eyes, Caius understood. This is what it meant to succeed in raising Mathew. This reaction was rare and something to be very proud of, but despite everything, Caius could not dismiss his unease. It was already too late to go back even to how things were few minutes ago now. Stopping here would be cruel, Caius thought. "Alright. I get it. We'll start tomorrow. I'll register you in the morning." Caius said. He saw Mathew grin at him when he turned back around and continued walking.

After half an hour, the path they took merged into a more well travelled trail, which quickly grew into crude foot road. Trees were more common here and the villagers used them to build homes and light fires. Some cabins and houses could be seen scattered in the trees out away from the village proper, but remained dark and empty now as most were gathered for the main festival on the beach near the village center.

It was one of the greatest festivals of the year. As they approached, music and a roar of laughter and conversation could be heard, combining into a din that permeated the air to create the pervasive atmosphere of a celebration. They could soon see orange glow of great bonfires that shaded the trees and buildings from some distance away. Closer in, the road became livelier as several smaller street and house parties could be heard auxiliary to the main one on the beach. Throughout the village, groups of younger and adult friends could be seen playing various sports and games or simply chatting and enjoying their mutual company. Several couples and a few threesomes were flirting in quiet corners, kissing and petting in proud open displays of their affection for each other.

Caius recognized several of those they passed as Mathew's friends. He could notice, too, that Mathew remained quiet at his side. Evenings such as this one would usually make Mathew so excited and eager that Caius would quickly lose track of him among the festivities. They would meet much later when the boy would breathlessly narrate animated stories of his adventures and misadventures through the night. Caius wondered if he mistimed telling Mathew of integration. He hadn't meant to take away this night from him. Quite the opposite, he figured that this would be an even greater celebration when he did.

"This feels surreal all of a sudden. I thought I'd feel happy, but right now, seeing all of this, I just feel strange." Mathew said breaking the long quiet of their walk from the outer meadows. Caius stopped walking again at that. They were just a minute or two from the festival now. From here, the drums and base beats of the music resonated in their bodies though they were still too far away to make out the individual songs, which, with some effort, allowed for conversation above the din.

"Mathew," Caius began. Caius noted the childishly inquisitive yet intelligent expression on Mathew's face. Caius found it harder and harder tell how mature the boy really was as each emotion was so clearly expressed on his face. Mathew was inclined to cry openly when he was sad, laugh openly when he found something funny, and had little inhibition about being so expressive and while he seemed so carefree most of the time, he was also prone to periods of silent contemplation and reflection when he became quite hard to read. Caius often wondered how he would deal with a crisis or true adversity. Caius wondered as much about himself. "You said earlier that you would do whatever it takes for integration remember?"

The boy nodded. "I will. Whatever it takes,"

"Then tonight I need to tell you three things." Caius said.

"Okay."

"I want you to imagine that this celebration if for you Mathew, for your integration. If you tell your friends it really will be. Have fun. Enjoy it. No one is dying and today isn't your last day here. It is times like these when we need to enjoy this place to the fullest. That's the first and most important thing. Enjoy yourself."

Mathew smirked at Caius. "Aww, Cai. Are you feeling bad for me?" Mathew poked Caius playfully on the nose "I was just trying to figure out how many I was going to bed tonight is all. Don't worry about me!"

"Mathew…" Caius warned.

"I'm just joking." Mathew said still grinning at Caius. "Well kind of."

"Not that. Listen Mathew, it's the other two things I need to tell you. This is important." Caius took a breath and waited for Mathew to become more serious, and stop deflecting what had to be his own conflicted state of mind. "You cannot contact Fearless or any other rouges at all. Not anymore. Once they find out that you are integrating, no one can predict what they will do, what they will try to get you to do. We can't have that can we?" Caius waited for a response. Mathew's face was unreadable once again.

"I know that already," Mathew said, breaking eye contact and looking absently off in the direction of the party. The orange glow from the bonfire lit the thoughtful expression on face in changing patterns with the dancing of the fire. Mathew began again after gathering his thoughts. "I didn't know if you really trusted me you know. I mean you could have integrated me at thirteen, maybe even earlier but you didn't even bring it up. I was wondering if you ever would." Caius could tell he had more to say and held back the urge to respond. Instead he followed the boy's gaze to watch the bonfire and the moving forms around it. Caius noted that he could feel the fire slightly warming his face even at this distance and that it felt good against the cool spring twilight air.

Mathew suddenly sounded angry. "Fearless doesn't know anything, she's so stupid. It's so stupid to rebel. Nothing she said ever made any sense or any difference. She's never been anywhere else either. All she has are stupid stories from a guardian who betrayed her."

Caius sighed at that. "Mathew, intelligence isn't a curse, it is a difference and it isn't what counts." Caius scolded his language mildly. Cursing itself was fine, if impolite, but Caius could not let Mathew start looking down on others especially because of intelligence. Caius also knew besides this was that Fearless was more intelligent than either of them and could not be underestimated.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm just saying what she does it wrong, at least it's wrong for me."

Satisfied, Caius continued. "Fine. The last thing I wanted to say is simple. Don't hide things from me or lie to me." Caius said. "If you can manage all three then I'm sure everything will go just fine."

"Yes Cai. I won't lie to you. You can trust me." Mathew turned to Caius, who was still watching the bonfire, and surprised him with a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you… and I love you too Cai." Mathew grinned and hugged Caius' neck. It was a childish affection that he had outgrown, but today had been especially emotional for him so Caius allowed it and returned the hug. In one motion, Mathew shed his shoes and handed them to Caius, who took them. Mathew then excitedly ran down to the beach, looking intent on enjoying himself and the last Sebastian festival he would experience. Caius nodded at this. It was good for Mathew to be free and to enjoy himself, but that would leave him alone, at least for now.

Caius regarded the pair of shoes in his hand. There was no reason he should not let go and enjoy the festival too. He was young and could recognize the songs, and knew how to dance to them, even well. Caius looked around at those milling around the village paths. They were all very attractive. There was no such thing as unattractive here at least not to his knowledge. Such a thing would be a punishment.

A tone rang in his ear then. Though the tone was benevolent and inoffensive, that something would trigger it alarmed him. This was the tone for emergencies of the magnitude that soft tones were used to prevent a panic. Regardless of the tone, which had gone from a random chime to a continuous insistent hum, Caius took a moment to set the shoes at the side of the path and leave a message for Mathew containing an apology and an invitation to meet the next day. Content that this would be sufficient, Caius fiddled with his key and exited. The view of the festival bonfire under the starry night persisted for a moment as a fleeting afterimage in his mind as it was quickly replaced with that of his younger sister tugging on his arm.

Caius was now annoyed at the intrusion and cursed himself for leaving his door unlocked. Physical contact of any kind resulted in an emergency alarm. "What?" Caius regarded her. She was upset about something, this was obvious. Her face exhibited something just short of horror. No, this was neither a prank nor a cry for attention which was not unusual from the girl when she was a bit younger. Something was genuinely wrong. "What is it Mimi? What's wrong, tell me." It was nickname she had long outgrew and was short for Millicent. Millicent Salena Pellegrin was Caius' youngest sibling and around the same age as Mathew.

Like Caius, she had honey brown eyes; eyes which now were making him more than a little anxious. "The Capella," she forced the words out with some effort, "is under attack." Caius felt an unfamiliar emotion welling up inside that in of itself was a wonder to him. It was clear to him that his heart had surely missed a beat and that a strange pressure was welling up in his chest. He was no longer breathing either nor could he despite trying. Shock, he realized, this was shock.