With all this talk of captains’ logs, why have we yet to see a toilet in Star Trek?

I have scanned almost every single blueprint of various Federation vessels and have yet to spot bathrooms outside of personal quarters. What if I am on the bridge and need to fire off a couple of biological torpedoes? I have to run back to my quarters? Or in a real biobreak red alert, can I transport to the latrine?

The closest we ever get to mentioning the john is when crew members mention the ‘fresher or refresher as it were. Memory Beta is so kind to inform us that “24th-century refreshers disposed of waste material with transporter-based dematerialization process, breaking waste into simple inert compounds, which could then be utilized in other replication systems within an integrated system. Portable ‘freshers could also be deployed on [a] temporary emergency basis, safely keeping the inert matter in storage.” I think every one of us would like to see this process in action, especially the “transporter-based dematerialization process”.

My question is: where do those molecules rematerialize? “My, Seven, that is a mighty big piece of chocolate cake you have just replicated.”

And what about on a type-6 or type-9 shuttle? Any of the schematics I’ve reviewed leave the location of the toilet a complete mystery to me. Please, Captain Picard, don’t have me assigned to an away mission on a type-6 shuttle with Mr. Worf after he scarfed down a fresh batch of fatty gagh. I’d rather take a bat’leth to my man parts.

These questions have vexed Star Trek fans for years. Will CBS finally satisfy this crucial query and data dump the facts to us? I think the world is ready to face the facts about ‘freshers. After all, Star Trek has boldly tackled every subject ranging from abortion and androgyny to genocide and racism. The fans have enjoyed exploring such topics. I think its time some brave writer tackle this touchy subject and give us what we want.

Bring on the toilets!

What was Spock doing looking in Kirk’s toilet? He was searching for the captain’s log. Why are the U.S.S. Enterprise and toilet paper alike? They both go around Uranus searching for Klingons.

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