Hat tip to the choir director at my parish, who sent this around today.

UPDATE: This appears to have originated at Commonweal, though the author is anonymous.

Traditional Christmas Cookie Recipe

Serves: you and many.

Cream these ingredients, that by their comingling you may begin to make the dough: 1 chalice butter, 2/3 chalice sugar.

In a similar way, when the butter is consubstantial with the sugar, beat in: 1 egg.

Gather these dry ingredients to yourself and combine them, that you may add them to the dough, which you have already begun to make: 2 ½ chalices sifted all-purpose flour, ½ teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon vanilla.

Mix the precious dough with your venerable hands.

Into the refrigerator graciously place the dough so that it may be chilled, for the duration of 3 or 4 hours, before the rolling and cutting of the cookies.

When, in the fullness of time, you are ready to bake these spotless cookies, these delicious cookies, these Christmas cookies, preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Roll out the dough and, setting up a cookie cutter or stencil of your choosing, fashion the cookies into pleasing forms.

Sprinkle colorful adornments over cookies like the dewfall.

Bake for 8 to 10 minutes, or until the cookies have just begun to manifest the brownness that is vouchsafed to them by the oven’s heat.

May these cookies be found acceptable in your sight, and be borne to a place of refreshment at your table, there to be served with milk or hot chocolate, or with your spirits.