Milwaukee, WI – “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It will never happen again! Noooo!!!!” screamed organist Brian Hamilton, his voice fading away as he disappeared into sheer empty space below the expansive balcony of St. Bartholomew Lutheran Church.

The final notes of Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor had scarcely faded away as the agitated crowd of elderly parishioners descended upon him. Badly miscalculating the white hot anger burning against him, Brian casually brushed off the usual complaints of screeching hearing aids and an inability to converse with fellow congregants.

He had scarcely launched into his usual series of half hearted explanations and apologies before the angry mob cut off all escape routes. Prodding him with their walkers, canes, and arthritic hands, the gang forced him closer and closer to the edge.







“Let this be a message to all organists!” the ringleader shouted. “We will never tolerate loud music again!”

As the few stragglers remaining in church screamed in horror, Hamilton landed on the hard wooden pews thirty feet below, his broken body a testament to the fine line that all organists must tread when selecting their pre- and post-service music.

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