I mean, seriously, how does he get a game? Credit:Sebastian Costanzo Mitch Robinson runs around like a headless chook and must be the bane of the Carlton coaching staff. How to rein in a loose cannon like that? And Stevie Milne, boy, Steve Milne - where do we start? A yappy little pest - just like Ballantyne - who annoyed the hell out of opposition players and supporters alike. A tip rat, right? No! Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong. You could not be further from the truth. They might be your thoughts, as fans in the outer, but not to us, the guys who get to play with and against them each week. Those seven players I've mentioned are actually hugely admired by their peers. They might drive opposition supporters mad - and those stereotypes I've touched on probably reflect the views of many fans - but we would have a different view.

Ballantyne's reputation doesn't do justice to his ability. Credit:Pat Scala Listen to the talk around the change rooms at my club - and other players you run into around the place - and these guys are almost universally admired. Everyone would love to have them as teammates because they are so determined, passionate and damn competitive. As someone who sees these guys up close every second week, I just love the way they go about it. It would be an honour playing alongside such disciplined players on a weekly basis. There is nothing more inspiring than seeing a teammate squeeze every last ounce of ability out of himself. Ballantyne is a cocky little chirper who deliberately gets under the skin of the opposition to take their mind off the game. But that doesn't do justice to his football ability.

A small forward working up and down the ground, coupled with his forward-line pressure, he has become invaluable for Fremantle. A barometer for the Dockers. I've no doubt he is one of Ross Lyon's first picked. (I'd even hazard a guess that if by chance Scarlett was to find Ballantyne at the bar, with a pot in hand, they would soon realise they had more in common than they would care to admit. Provided one did not tip the other off his bar stool.) Picken is as hard as a cat's head. Hard in body, but harder in mind. Relentless in his application and with that mop of hair bouncing around rarely does he have an off day, or more accurately, does he get beaten. So stubborn is his demeanour that you become his sole focus for the two hours. Some players are already beaten when they see the No. 42 come and stand alongside them at the opening bounce. Jackson, the big-bodied Tiger, had his breakout season last year, receiving the recognition publicly that almost matched the regard he's held in privately. He's a very reliable player and an excellent team man who's learnt to play within his capabilities. Much respect. Crowley clearly undertakes his tagging roles in a different manner to all. He attempts to disarm his opponents by becoming mates during the match, chatting about trivial topics such as the weather or just the state of play. He also compliments his direct opponent for competing or winning the ball in a genuine manner that disarms his suckers. But would you want him playing on your team? Of course you would.

Milne's record as a goalsneak forward pocket is absolutely outstanding. He created goals out of nothing ... and was especially dangerous at Etihad Stadium. A great career with the Saints and nothing that happened elsewhere should overshadow his on-field achievements. Robinson's brain fades have at times been enough to make my teammates laugh out loud on the field. But do we admire his determination, his manic intensity? Absolutely we do. Sure, it might be misdirected at times, but you've just got to love his passion and will to win. Maxwell is one who might polarise opinion but I am a huge admirer. He might not be the most gifted player going around, but compensates for his lack of natural ability with his bravery, leadership, effort and sacrificial acts. Hugely regarded by his teammates, for good reason. So I've compiled that list just to show how differently players sometimes see the game, and their peers, to the paying public. Of course, the punters have a right to their opinion - they pay their money to get in - it's just that they don't, or can't, see what we see out on the ground.

Conversely, what we hate are players who consistently dive, play for frees and complain to the umpires. Who get that stupid look on their face of ''what, wasn't me'' or, ''what on earth is that for?'' directed at the umpires. Those who over-celebrate ''soccer style'', instead of enjoying the moment with their teammates, get a reputation among the opposition for all the wrong reasons. As a teammate, there is nothing more frustrating than playing alongside a peacock who has an inflated opinion of his abilities. Their attempts to do too much with the ball unsettles a passage of play and causes angst among teammates. Yet the utmost respect is afforded those who know their limitations yet work tirelessly to have them stretched. If a side was made up predominantly of players displaying those laudable traits I've mentioned, it would make it - I think - as good as unbeatable. The Secret Footballer is a current AFL player.