No One Lives Forever was basically the greatest. This is an incontrovertible truth of the universe. The unabashedly groovy stealth shooter (and its sequel; though not blah blah blam blam spin-off Contract J.A.C.K) was equal parts silly and smart, with a peeling back of the proverbial weaponized banana peel yielding everything from lowbrow stereotypes to startlingly nuanced dissections of sexism and the criminal mind. Also, it had the best phonetic title acronym ever. NOLF. Just say that out loud. Isn’t it wonderful? It’s like the yelp a dog would make if its nose were being pinched by an enraged yet largely harmless lobster. But anyway, point being, wouldn’t it be great if we could somehow get another from somebody? Please? Well, happily, there appear to be at least a couple interested parties. Problem is, Cate Archer’s performed a disappearing act so formidable that even the likes of the maniacal *lightning crackles* Activision Corp can’t track her down.



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The story goes that original publisher Fox Interactive got gobbled up by Vivendi Universal back in 2003, and then the great Activision Blizzard of 2007 rolled in and left everybody frozen under the same roof. So, logically, the rights to No One Lives Forever should be buried somewhere deep in Activision’s Singularity-and-Guitar-Hero-strewn vaults, right? Unfortunately/thankfully, bzzzzzt wrong. Activision community mastermind Dan “One of Swords” Amrich explained:

“The person who I normally talk to about that stuff does not believe that we currently have the rights. They’v never seen it. They’ve never been given the permission to put that stuff on Good Old Games. They basically said, ‘If we had it, I would love to have been able to reissue those games.'” “At this time I do not believe Activision has the rights to No One Lives Forever, so if there were to be a reissue or remake or something like that, it wouldn’t come from Activision. I don’t know what the future holds for No One Lives forever, but I don’t think that that future involves Activision.”

Fair enough. But what about original developer Monolith? After taking a turn for the grimdark in FEAR and Condemned, they recently resumed their wacky ways with Gotham City Imposters. So, you know, maybe a new NOLF’s also in order? Sadly, no dice on that front either. “I contacted a friend at Monolith, and he doesn’t know [who has the rights],” said Amrich.

In short, no one’s sure what happened to No One Lives Forever. Not even God. By which I of course mean my good friend Goddard Williamson, who usually keeps abreast of these sorts of things.

So for now, it’s a mystery. However, I plan to do some digging, and if any globules of info-rich saliva fall from parted lips in some parking garage of secrets, I’ll let you know. Here’s hoping.

Thanks, Blue’s News.