But wait, there’s still more beer failures!

So it seems that by the responses I have had on email, Reddit, Twitter and comments here…you guys get a kick out of hearing about other peoples failures in the beer market! That’s okay, I am not judging you, to tell you the truth, I quite enjoy them myself!

When I was researching the previous article, I sent a bunch of emails out to my old colleagues, ex-nemesis’ from the other big player in the market, and a lot of family and friends to see if they could remember any failures that I had missed. It’s fair to say that I was inundated with suggestions! My old Sales Manager, who had worked in the industry for 30 years or so gave me a list as long as my arm…I joked that I could have just posted his email here, but then I guess there would be no need for me, so I will just steal his notes like they are my own.

In the previous article I talked about Carlton Cold Shot that had a shot of vodka in the beer. This product only lasted a few years, but as Reddit user CptBigglesworth correctly pointed out, these types of products are all the rage in the UK right now. Check out the pic below from an article on LifeHacker that rates these beers with Rum, Tequila and Bourbon added to them.

It should also be noted that, here in Australia, this looks like a re-emerging trend. Lion has recently released two new Ciders into the market that jump on this bandwagon…Night Orchard Cider with a dash of premium distilled vodka.

Time will tell if these products are in it for the long run, or if they will appear on Part 26 of Failures In Beer Marketing on this site!

I mentioned that I had received some great feedback on the previousl artiucle, and I must give a shoutout to loyal reader (yeah I have some) Stu who mentioned a product called Zima Clearmalt. His description of the product was one that “although not directly marketed at women it became very popular with that demographic, making it undrinkable for men”…and it died a slow torturous death! Check out this article on it.

Without further ado, I would like to introduce the next instalment of beer marketing failures…

More Failures!

Hahn White

This beer is the greatest example I can find of where the research for a new product absolutely nails the target market, points to changing the game, projects huge sales, and tells the powers that be that they are onto the “next big thing”…and then fails. In fact, I would probably say that this was maybe the biggest stinker of a product that I ever worked on for Lion.

The idea was to try and bring women into the beer category by allowing them to drink with their partner like they would wine…sounds like a great idea to grow the beer category Introducing the “shared serve”, which was basically a dirty long neck with a wine screw top. Sounds like a good idea? Yeah? Well, it would have been if the liquid appealed to both people drinking it…not only was it a watered down wheat beer, but the “serving ritual” included a “roundel” (I think that’s how they referred to it) of orange in the top of the glass. Now, all I have to say is that old mate better be with his lady and none of his mates, because adding a slice of orange into ANY drink, other than Coke when you were at the pub with your Dad in the 80’s, is opening you up to serious ridicule.

I got into a bit of trouble for being negative at the internal product launch for my team with this product. I kid you not that when I poured this beer into the glasses, sliced the bloody oranges, then served it up…every single beer was placed back onto the bar after the first sip. Now if that doesn’t tell you that a new product is a stinker, I don’t know what does.

I still remember talking to Marty, our training leader, and him telling me that the even if the beer isn’t to my liking it is still my job to pump everyone up because it may be to the liking of others. Sorry Marty, you are a great bloke, but on this occasion you were dead wrong!

I think this beer might have been in and out of the market inside a year. I still remember us trying to clear the last few pallets of beer by offering the nice glasses you see in the pic as a Gift With Purchase. Normally GWP’s are offered on case buys, but we were that desperate we were not only giving away free bottles of Hahn White with whatever beer we could, we were also including a twin pack of glasses with every six pack…we had a few pallets of them left over too!

Not all is lost though, my kids now like to mix their milkshakes in the tall glasses…it’s fair to say that most staff from that time would have a stash of these glasses at home!

My opinion on why it went wrong

It tasted like dish water, even with a “roundel” of orange in the glass.

Miller Lite Vortex Bottles

Most likely in response to the bullshit that was the “Coors Vented Wide Mouth Can”, in 2010 Miller decided that they too wanted the consumers of their beer to be able to chug down a whole lot more, in a whole lot less time. Sorry, I mean, they wanted their consumers to be able to enjoy the tasty refreshment of a Miller Lite in a more efficient manner…there is no way that the R&D department thought that faster consumption times would lead to increased volume and sales, and therefore profits…no way!

I remember sending an image of this bottle to one of my beer colleagues with a bit of a WTF message attached, I couldn’t quite work out why they needed to do this…it turns out they didn’t. The idea behind the bottle was that they etched grooves into the glass to create an effect similar to when you hold a water bottle upside down and rotate it to expel the liquid in a whirlpool type manner.

Note: in looking for a video of this action, I stumbled across this Curiosity Show video on YouTube. This is the actual video I watched as a kid to learn how to do this, I remember it like it was yesterday! Ahhh, good times Deane (With an E!) and Rob, you taught me so much.

Anyway, I guess the overall effect might be similar to shot gunning a can, if you drink the whole bottle…sales gold! Whatever the case, the bottle had run its race by 2013 and was replaced with a more contemporary bottle in bars…but funnily enough still continued to be stocked in convenience stores for a while? A foot in both camps perhaps…volume play where the image doesn’t matter, but all premium up in the night clubs and bars?

I cant seem to find any current mention of the bottle, and Miller Lite is currently doing that “retro cool” thing with 1970’s inspired while labels on the current bottle that replaces the bottle that replace the Vortex…so I assume it is dead?

My opinion on why it went wrong

Well, did it go wrong? It had something of a 3 – 5 year run from what I can tell? Some may argue it was a gimmick, as opposed to a failure, but I still think it was a failure…no one else copied it, and its no longer around, so lets call it a failure for the sake of this article!

Coors Double Vented Wide Mouth Cans

Those stupid Coors Vented Wide Mouth Cans I mentioned above were ridiculous for many of the same reasons as the Vortex bottle. However, they must have done ok, because in 2013 they upped the ante and released a DOUBLE Vented Wide Mouth Can…they dubbed it THE WORLD’S MOST REFRESHING CAN!

I have no more words for this!

I am pretty sure that these have also run their race…the current advertising for Coors Light has a whole other new can that has been completely simplified and doesn’t mention any fast gulping mechanism!

My opinion on why it went wrong

Stupid gimmick!

Carlsberg Copenhagen

Check out this video and you will see a beer that is so wrapped up in its own contemporary styled bullshit, that it forgot that it was a beer, and not a friggen ladies perfume!

In 2011, Carlsberg lost it’s mind and decided that a “beer for people that hate beer” was a solid idea and, Carlsberg Copenhagen was born. Pitched as an alternative to white wine or champagne, but the idea should have been screwed up and pitched into the bin!

Don’t you love it when you see the media releases for new products and you just know that some agency has spent hours crafting the perfect pitch, adding in words, dissecting the messaging and understanding the insights behind the need for the new product…and then produce crap!

This is what Carlsberg said about Copenhagen…“We can see that there are a number of consumers, especially women, who are very aware of design when they are choosing beverage products. There may be situations where they are standing in a bar and want their drinks to match their style. In this case, they may well reject a beer if the design does not appeal to them.”

I call bullshit!!!! And so did the consumers…Copenhagen has disappeared from the Carlsberg portfolio, globally!

My opinion on why it went wrong

Sometimes marketers just get caught up in their own bullshit, this is one of those occasions!

Duff Beer in Australia

Sometimes it pays to do your research before releasing a new product!

Everyone remembers Duff Beer from the tv show The Simpsons, and in some other countries this brand exists and must be doing ok? However, in Australia in the early 1990’s, a few young marketers at Lion Beer decided that it would be a great marketing gimmick to make a real beer with the duff branding and cash in on the gimmick. Trouble was, they didn’t really do their legal due diligence on it and were promptly told to remove the product from the market by 20th Century Fox, owner of The Simpsons!

The story from employees working for Lion at the time was that it was chaos when this “cease and desist” order came through. Sales teams all over the country dropped everything and had to go out to bottle shops and bars to collect all the stock, remove all promotional items and credit back fund to their customers.

I guess it was better that being sued for “everything you have” as the rumour goes!

I believe that there have been similar cases in other countries, with similar consequences!

My opinion on why it went wrong

Research can sometimes be good for a new product!

Well there you have it, 5 more failures in beer marketing…and you know what, there are still plenty of them out there for me to discover and tell you about. There will be a part 3!

As usual, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter and Facebook for all the latest beer news, and check out my YoutTube channel or Instagram feed for more fun.

What did you think of my new 60 Second Beer Reviews? I have a classic edition coming this week, where I tip my hat to Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

If you have any feedback for me, I would love to hear it, please leave me a comment or shoot me an email.

Cheers to Great Beers!