I consider myself a happy man. I am 34 years old. After a 12-year relationship, I married my true love four years ago. We have a two-year-old son and a second baby on the way. Ten years ago, I founded an online marketing advertising agency with — to be honest — someone I barely knew at the time but who would become one of my best friends. I was born in Austria, Europe which was a huge benefit in becoming a happy person: I never had to suffer hunger or lack of shelter. My parents were never rich (my father was a high school teacher, my mother a stay-at-home mom, I have five siblings), but we always had what we needed to live.

To say, “I am a happy man” is not something a lot of people would say without any reservations. Which is why I also consider myself a lucky man. Luck, however, is not the only thing that made me a happy man in the first place. I surely had my share of luck, but it wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns in my life. When I was twenty, right during my final exams, I had an intestinal obstruction, followed by colics every now and then. On the upside, due to the colics, I was unfit for military service (which is mandatory for men in Austria) and could start university right after I graduated.

A few years ago, my agency went through some rough times. I had my private bank account at the same bank as the company’s (a mistake I would never make again), so the bank saw upcoming financial struggle. The logical reaction was to freeze both accounts (Ironically, the slogan of the bank translates to something like “Everything that counts are the people”). I remember standing at the ATM one time, only allowed to withdraw € 20,00 on a 21st, no idea how to pay the rent at the end of the month, not to mention food and daily needs for the following days. I had to borrow money from friends (which I never wanted to do) and considered moving back in with my parents (which I fortunately didn’t have to do).

Anyway, during this time, I read Tim Ferriss’ “The 4 hour work week”. Yeah, I know... But this book had (besides some funny ideas) one very interesting exercise in it: The Dreamline. For this exercise, you have to list 5 things you dream of having, 5 things you dream of being and 5 things you dream of doing. Today I can proudly say I have crossed all except one thing off the list. The last remaining item is a massage chair, which I actually don’t fancy to have anymore.

An interesting experience while doing the Dreamline exercise was that although I was confronted with quite some challenges in my life I had a hard time finding 5 items for each list. Especially the materialistic part, “5 things you dream of having”, was hard, hence the redundant massage chair. I am not saying that I oppose materialism — I work in advertising, so this would interfere with my profession a little bit. What I’m trying to say is, I was happy. Not in a “jump around smiling all the time” way, but happy nonetheless. I needed money, but besides this little dent my life was good.

This insight gave me the energy to fight all the challenges my “professional life” was facing. This does — by far — not mean that I managed to save the company on my own. The thing is just, I needed something, some kind of motivation to not give up. A little push from inside me. Step by step, we managed to rebuild the company, and even better than before. And also step by step I was working on my Dreamline list, crossing items off it one at a time.

It took me almost 4 years to get the fourteen items done (the last one was being a father). I considered starting a new list, but even doing it in my head, I struggled with finding items. Also, I am not in a difficult life situation anymore. However, there are still moments I have the blues, for all kinds of reasons, I guess that’s called being human. So I spent quite some time thinking about happiness.

I came up with another exercise on my own: I made a list of things that make me happy. It sounds easy, but try it out: If you put some thought into it, you won’t be done in a jiffy. At the end, I had a list of nine items, none of which is something to have. Having something only makes you happy for a short period of time. Then you consider it normal and only miss it when you don’t have it anymore.

Some of the items only need 3 letters (“Sex”), others are a little more complex (“Going to the movies with nachos and M&Ms — bonus points if the film is good”). Some things you can buy (“Hotel breakfast”), others just need help of others (“Sleeping in without regrets”). Having a look at my list made me realize: it really is the small things in life that count.

So what do I do with the list? Every now and then, I indulge in a little “happy time”. Whatever is possible (considering the responsibilities I took over in my life). After this, my happiness tank is more or less refuelled.

Most recently, I spent a weekend in London alone. It was completely “Paul time”. To be honest, it felt a bit weird not to be responsible for anyone, not having the need to be somewhere at a certain time. First world problems, am I right? It was awesome. I did whatever I felt like doing whenever I wanted to do it: I saw a movie at noon, I read for hours in Hyde Park, I went “accidental sightseeing” (just walking around aimlessly, whenever I passed a sight, I took a picture of it). I didn’t want to meet new people, so I didn’t do it.

“Accidental sightseeing” in London. Something that makes me happy.

I think a lot of people have lost the ability to be happy. My list is a simple step to regaining it. If you have a tough time, it gives you the motivation to go on, if you don’t have a lot to worry about, the list reminds you to take a little “you time”. So go ahead and write your list. There are no limits, you can write as little and as much as you want.

Just be honest with yourself: Does it really make you happy or do you only want to see yourself liking something? If you actually don’t like exotic food/fancy wine/a book/sports/whatever, don’t put it on your list. The list doesn’t make you a better person. Well, actually I think it does, considering happy people are always nice to have around. However the purpose of the list is not to really make you a better person. It should make you happier.