T he day has finally come. While the 2016 election is already made its way to the small screen via a couple of speedy adaptations—a miniseries from the Zero Dark Thirty team and the last season of American Horror Story—we’d all been waiting on tenterhooks for the inevitable Trump White House movie to be greenlit. And while technically there’s still no movie, Michael Woolf’s incendiary tell-all book Fire and Fury is being adapted for television.

In just his first year, 45 and his ragtag crew of incompetents have racked up more truly cinematic plot twists, jump-scares, and inadvertent punchlines than most of their predecessors combined. So let’s settle in for some wild casting speculation.

Donald Trump

Tempting though it is to cast Alec Baldwin and call it a day, what makes a pitch-perfect Trump on SNL won't necessarily translate to a scripted drama, which will have to do more than satirize its subject. But picture Martin Sheen with yellow hair and an inexplicably sloppy tie, and you have a decent Hollywood approximation of Trump—and if you consider The West Wing as comfort viewing in the Trump era, there's an extra bittersweet sting in having Jed Bartlet step into the gold-painted Oval Office. Plus, Martin Sheen really, really, really hates Trump, and the feeling is undoubtedly mutual, so that's fun.

Melania Trump

British actress and model Elizabeth Hurley could pass for Melania's twin and would fit right into this role. Cecily Strong has also played a great, surprisingly nuanced Melania on SNL, and this is a rare case where recycling an SNL actor could actually work—given Melania's muted role in Trump's administration, it's not clear how much additional substance she'll get from a real adaptation.

Ivanka Trump

Westworld's Talulah Riley looks the part and has already convincingly played a robot, so getting beneath the polished, tightly controlled surface of Trump's favorite child and most trusted advisor should be a breeze. Katherine Heigl's resemblance to Ivanka in her new movie briefly sent the internet into a tailspin earlier this year, and she has a steely quality that would play well in this role.

Jared Kushner

Whoever plays the president's weirdly influential son-in-law must have the ability to be both charismatic and slightly repugnant, and convey a quiet ability to bring peace to the Middle East without actually speaking very much. Miles Teller has more than proven his ability to play young men who are ambitious to the point of being sociopathic—not to mention the odd fratboy douche—so Jared is right in his wheelhouse.

Donald Trump, Jr.

Maybe it's because Will Arnett was so good at playing the least loved child of a morally bankrupt family in Arrested Development. Or maybe because, had Don Jr the self-awareness to regret things, he would go through life in a perennial state of "I've made a huge mistake." Either way, Arnett is the clear choice.

Eric Trump

Channing Tatum for the lunk factor, or Mr. Robot's villain Martin Wallström could play a way sleeker and more sinister version of the younger Trump brother. Eric has a relatively small role in the movie—and none in the White House—so this is probably more of a cameo in any case.

Mike Pence

This one is tough. Most actors don't aspire to be wooden, and Pence's defining character trait—besides his fear of women and his hatred of LGBT people—is that he's kind of a stiff. If Mike Hot-Pence isn't available, Steve Martin is pretty close physically and could play on the quiet absurdity of Pence, Mr "Traditional Family Values," as right hand man to Trump—a noted misogynist and alleged sexual abuser.

Sean Spicer

It can't be Melissa McCarthy. Let's all just accept that and grieve for it and then move on. Bob Odenkirk can rock an ill-fitting suit and squeeze every inch of cringe-inducing comedy out of Spicer flopsweating at the podium, digging himself into deeper and deeper semantic holes about Holocaust Centers, before eventually throwing the ultimate temper tantrum and resigning. But he'd also nail the weird pathos at the heart of Spicey, who's been nothing but pope-blocked and fat-shamed for his humiliating troubles.

Kellyanne Conway

Laura Dern can play just about anything, but Laura Dern would be specifically thrilling to watch in this role. Conway is not an easy character to humanize, but Dern could dig into the sheer nerve and mental acrobatics that must go into selling alternative facts like the Bowling Green Massacre. Reese Witherspoon is a fellow southern blonde who plays a great type-A sociopath, if a little young for this role.

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Anthony Scaramucci

It’s going to take a very special kind of actor to harness the bombastic energy of The Mooch, and to convincingly sell the wild ride that was his eleven-day tenure as White House Communications Director. One minute, Scaramucci’s stepping up to the podium as a slick, smooth, unflappable antidote to Spicey; the next he’s unravelling in an expletive-filled rant to a New Yorker journalist, flaming out spectacularly before he had even technically started his new gig. The physical resemblance is obvious, but Bobby Cannavale also has a knack for playing charismatic hotheads who are either directly involved in the mob—or seem like they should be.

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Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Amid all the White House communications re-shuffles with Spicer/Dubke/Scaramucci, Sanders has just quietly hung on in there, gradually taking over the podium until she officially became Press Secretary. This won’t be one of the movie’s showier roles, but Casey Wilson has both the acting chops and the comedic experience—including a two-season stint on SNL—to pull off Sanders’ weird blend of quiet competence and occasional meltdowns.

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Hope Hicks

There are a lot of things that make Hope Hicks arguably the most fascinating, mysterious member of Trump’s cabinet. The PR consultant was just 26 when she became press secretary for Trump’s potential presidential campaign, and though she announced her surprise resignation, she is Trump’s longest-serving political aide. Allison Williams would nail her youthful drive and type-A energy, while also conveying the kind of steely resolve that would allow a person to survive as long as Hicks has in Trump’s inner circle.



Steve Bannon

Embodying the ragged, ruddy-faced Neo-Nazi credited by many as the heart of darkness quietly driving the Trump regime is no mean feat. Michael Harney, aka Officer Healy on Orange Is The New Black bears a striking physical resemblance to Bannon, albeit a better-preserved version. Russell Crowe also looks the part, and could deliver the hell out of a line like "limp-dicked motherfucker who was born in a petri dish." On the subject of which…

Paul Ryan

Glee's Matthew Morrison is a dead ringer for Ryan, and he's already best known for playing a character who thought he was a good guy but was often a selfish, opportunistic creep. Given ten years (he's way too young now at 32), Silicon Valley's Zach Woods would also be a great fit.

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Robert Mueller

Depending on how this whole Russia investigation shakes out, Special Counsel Bob Mueller could end up being this movie’s equivalent of a third-act deus ex machina, closing in on The Donald just in time. Whoever plays Mueller—former Marine, former Head of the FBI, former U.S. Attorney—needs to be quietly formidable, embodying integrity, smarts and enough toughness to believably rattle Trump. Hard to imagine a better fit than James Cromwell.

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Michael Wolff

A lot of journalists might get one-off scenes in the inevitable Trump movie, but only one will feature as a character quietly roaming around in the background of almost every scene, watching Trump fly off the handle and listening in on Steve Bannon's quiet mutterings. We still don't know how this will all play out yet, but maybe the publication of Fire and Fury will come as a third-act climax that'll tie all the loose ends together. It'd be fun to watch David Cross as the sneaky trickster that brings it all down.

Hillary Clinton

Meryl Streep is the only correct answer here. Even before she delivered that memorable, devastating Trump takedown in her Golden Globes acceptance speech last year, Streep had come to occupy a significant place in the 2016 election saga, and developed a bond with Clinton herself. The Streep-as-Clinton rumors have been flying for some time, and we're not here to get in the way of casting that perfect.

Emma Dibdin Contributor Emma Dibdin writes about television, movies, and podcasts, with coverage including opinion essays, news posts, episodic reviews and in-depth interviews with creatives.

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