TOUR CADDIES are suing the PGA Tour wanting to be treated better, and it didn't take much to get me to sign on. Of all the people associated with the players—agents, teachers, sport psychiatrists, trainers, media and caddies—caddies are the one entity treated like second-class citizens. It was always frustrating that I couldn't get access to the locker room to retrieve an umbrella or extra sleeve of balls. No access to a place where you could come in and wash your face after a long day on the course. Fans know that using portable toilets at 4 p.m. on a hot day is tolerable as a one-off, but using them every day when there's a nice bathroom nearby would wear on you, no? Riding a crowded shuttle bus to the course is OK for a few days, but after several months of it, you really wish you could have a parking area to bring your rental car. If the game were invented today, there's no way the present model would be in place. If and when my mates need me to testify in court, I'll be on the first plane back to America.