Gather round children. Today, Yellowcard announced their breakup, and I have a story to remember them by. My alma mater, Fordham University, historically books the worst possible acts for its annual Spring Weekend. Ghostface Killah headlined one year, but he didn’t finish a single song during his 25 minute set, instead advising the crowd to buy his music in order to hear it in full. Guster headlined another year. But it was Yellowcard who my school inexplicably decided to book in 2006, a decision we would quickly regret the moment we sobered up long enough to realize we had actually given Yellowcard real American dollars to perform their sorry brand of pop-punk live in person at our academic institution. Once the actual concert took place, the band was met with a tepid reaction, and at one point some hero began throwing apples at the electronic violinist. Fearing for their lives, the band ended their performance early, and subsequently threatened to sue the school.

There’s a lot of shitty things going on in the world right now, but at least humanity will never again be subjected to this bullshit:

