40 WONDERFUL USES OF PERIOD BLOOD

1. Add to lacquer and use as nail polish

2. Add to Vaseline and use as lipstick

3. Feed plants

4. Decorate room

5. Decorate old jeans for the “destroy” look

6. Put into unmarked vials and send as a gift to major world leaders

7. Mark your territory on furniture, mattresses, public transportation

8. Scare your coworkers or the children you babysit

9. Make Bloody Mary’s

10. Make Gin and Tonics

11. Feed pets

12. Sign your letters in blood

13. Write in your journal in blood

14. Put some on your hand before high-fiving someone

15. Pour into tub and treat yourself to a blood bath

16. Get kinky somehow

17. Use as toothpaste

18. Use as mouthwash

19. Put into lasagna

20. Use in performance art

21. Use in visual art

22. Gargle before using in opera-art

23. Dye lampshades for atmosphere

24. Tint unvarnished wooden furniture

25. Freeze into ice cubes

26. Store some in the fridge in case your roommates need it

27. Hide it in your armpits, in your hair line, and under your breasts to make

people think you sweat blood

28. Make jello for grandparents or jello shots for friends

29. Have a themed party where everyone has to touch it

30. Bring to uncomfortable events as an escape plan

31. Fake a bloody nose to take a 20 minute break from work

32. Bring to the apple store so you can decorate while you wait for a friendly

employee

33. Bring to the bio store to try to get discounts on large jars of coconut oil and

almond butter

34. Bring to a beginner ballet class to put in your slippers so you can pretend you

are really hardcore

35. Bring to a lingerie shop to get discounts

36. Send as gift to former middle school bully

37. Send as gift to ex-lover

38. Put into the inside of a pastry

39. Bring to family reunions to teach your younger cousins about puberty

40. Add flavor and minerals to brown soda varieties

Words and photo by Louise Trueheart