Terry Firma

Walter Olson’s guest post, below, hit a nerve with me — I guess because the sad trend he writes about casts my two adopted daughters, and my family, as both less whole and less wholesome than “regular” (biological) families.

Evidently, the National Organization for Marriage wants it that way. Although my own marriage (straight and strong, 18 years and counting) presumably passes muster with NOM, I don’t plan to sidle up to the organization anytime soon. I’ve written in favor of marriage equality many times, which presumably puts me on NOM’s shit list (and, not to be too holy about it, it is on my shit list too). That’s all fine.

But here’s my problem (and Walter’s): Big chunks of the religious right have gone from supporting adoption to using it as a opportunistic weapon against gay marriage. And that hurts families with adopted kids — whether the parents are gay or straight. That’s not fine. This one, for me, hits closer to home than ever.

So here’s what I’ve decided: If people honestly decide to argue that my family somehow falls short in moral standing, or lacks legitimacy in any way, I’d like to invite them to emerge from their digital lair and engage me and my wife and kids face to face.

Please understand that this is not a mere gauntlet slap, but an effort to exchange ideas and perhaps spread some clarity. How about it, NOM?

That’s a photo of my girls (and that’s me on the left). Look at their faces and then, any of you, please come to our home and explain to us why we are not a real family, and why my marriage isn’t as genuine as yours. Or we can do this by Skype, if you’d prefer.

Seriously, consider this a social offer. Come visit if you can. I’ll cook. We’ll talk. I will try to meet any of your objections with logic and reason; and when our brains begin to throb and our throats get sore, we’ll switch track, and the four members of my family, me included, will simply be living proof of our familial love. Observe us for a few hours. We won’t mind.

I hope you will then report back to your base what you found.

Open invitation. Anytime, anyplace.