After over 21 days in isolation now, the worst has finally happened. This crisis has resulted in so many wild things but I can’t believe what I’m about to tell you., I had to trim my own bangs during quarantine, and it did NOT turn out well.

It’s true. I can hardly believe it myself. I really didn’t imagine this all hitting so close to home. Clearly this whole thing is affecting pretty deeply.

Look, I know that quarantine requires something of all of us. I’ve made sacrifices! I basically never Uber now, and when I ran out of ChapStick on Monday, I waited until I got groceries on Wednesday to go get more. But trimming my own bangs?! That was asking too much of me.

Having well-groomed bangs is my human right. But somehow this whole quarantine stuff started right when I had just called up my hairstylist, Jade, to schedule a trim and blowout!

As the days passed, I naturally couldn’t let my roommates see me with a mop of a fringe, so I had to take matters into my own hands. I did exactly what the 3 youtube videos I watched said, one by one. And my bangs turned out totally way too short!

I was absolutely mortified. Was I doomed to have TERF bangs for the apocalypse? I screamed, started an Instagram Live crying, and asked my followers what I should do. Two of them suggested I pin it back or wear a hat, but it was too late. In a panic I had cut them all the way down to my scalp, leaving me with a bald spot right at my widow’s peak.

I have since been absolutely devastated. This crisis has completely changed me physically, and I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same again. RIP my cute bangs.

RIP me.