YUMA, AZ—Uploading almost a gigabyte of image files to her various social media accounts, nursing assistant Katherine Rohrbach, 26, took the precaution of posting several of her favorite photos of herself online Tuesday just in case she dies in a mass shooting. “Should I ever be cut down by a deranged gunman while shopping or going to the movies or dancing at a bar, I want to make sure the first photos of me the media can find are nice ones where I’m having a good hair day and you can see my face clearly,” said Rohrbach, scrolling through her phone camera’s album and selecting photos she believed to be tasteful and which showcased her personality. “I don’t want my friends and loved ones to learn about my violent firearms-related death by seeing a bad selfie on the news, or maybe a snap where I’m drunk at a bar. Also, there are high school photos of me up now that I should probably just delete.” At press time, Rohrbach’s friends and family were protesting CNN’s use of a photo of Rohrbach standing next to a more attractive friend after both were shot to death at a birthday party.

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