Every one of us sane and decent citizens has a limit and yesterday evening, with the full jarring possibility of President Trump’s state visit dawning upon me – the banquets, the photocall with Queen Elizabeth II, the red carpets and forelock-tugging – my own personal red mist descended. A retracting of the gums and shortening of breath. A peculiar urge, for the first time in my painfully centrist existence, to glue an A2 piece of cardboard to a stick and wave it in Whitehall.

I feel I may not be alone.

A UK Government and Parliament petition, yes one of those dreaded e-petitions which all right-minded folk wrinkle their nostrils at, now held my attention as its counter flickered and grew rapidly. It demanded Trump’s visit be downgraded to a plain old, normal “visit”. This in light of Trump’s first week in power: the Muslim baiting, the airport chaos, the signing of a ban on federal money going to any group that supports abortion, any lack of direction on repealing and replacing Obamacare, the puzzling rambling over Mexico paying for a wall and so on.

It was as if lots of British people watched this and thought, y’know, I don’t think he deserves to be thrown a party by us.

The controversial orders Donald Trump has already issued Show all 9 1 /9 The controversial orders Donald Trump has already issued The controversial orders Donald Trump has already issued Trump and the media White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer takes questions during the daily press briefing Getty Images The controversial orders Donald Trump has already issued Trump and the Trans-Pacific Partnership Union leaders applaud US President Donald Trump for signing an executive order withdrawing the US from the Trans-Pacific Partnership negotiations during a meeting in the Roosevelt Room of the White House in Washington DC. Mr Trump issued a presidential memorandum in January announcing that the US would withdraw from the trade deal Getty The controversial orders Donald Trump has already issued Trump and the Mexico wall A US Border Patrol vehicle sits waiting for illegal immigrants at a fence opening near the US-Mexico border near McAllen, Texas. The number of incoming immigrants has surged ahead of the upcoming Presidential inauguration of Donald Trump, who has pledged to build a wall along the US-Mexico border. A signature campaign promise, Mr Trump outlined his intention to build a border wall on the US-Mexico border days after taking office Getty Images The controversial orders Donald Trump has already issued Trump and abortion US President Donald Trump signs an executive order as Chief of Staff Reince Priebus looks on in the Oval Office of the White House. Mr Trump reinstated a ban on American financial aide being granted to non-governmental organizations that provide abortion counseling, provide abortion referrals, or advocate for abortion access outside of the United States Getty Images The controversial orders Donald Trump has already issued Trump and the Dakota Access pipeline Opponents of the Keystone XL and Dakota Access pipelines hold a rally as they protest US President Donald Trump's executive orders advancing their construction, at Columbus Circle in New York. US President Donald Trump signed executive orders reviving the construction of two controversial oil pipelines, but said the projects would be subject to renegotiation Getty Images The controversial orders Donald Trump has already issued Trump and 'Obamacare' Nancy Pelosi who is the minority leader of the House of Representatives speaks beside House Democrats at an event to protect the Affordable Care Act in Los Angeles, California. US President Donald Trump's effort to make good on his campaign promise to repeal and replace the healthcare law failed when Republicans failed to get enough votes. Mr Trump has promised to revisit the matter Getty Images The controversial orders Donald Trump has already issued Donald Trump and 'sanctuary cities' US President Donald Trump signed an executive order in January threatening to pull funding for so-called "sanctuary cities" if they do not comply with federal immigration law AP The controversial orders Donald Trump has already issued Trump and the travel ban US President Donald Trump has attempted twice to restrict travel into the United States from several predominantly Muslim countries. The first attempt, in February, was met with swift opposition from protesters who flocked to airports around the country. That travel ban was later blocked by the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals. The second ban was blocked by a federal judge a day before it was scheduled to be implemented in mid-March SANDY HUFFAKER/AFP/Getty Images The controversial orders Donald Trump has already issued Trump and climate change US President Donald Trump sought to dismantle several of his predecessor's actions on climate change in March. His order instructed the Environmental Protection Agency to reevaluate the Clean Power Plan, which would cap power plant emissions Shannon Stapleton/Reuters

It is not, crucially, a petition asking for Donald Trump to be banned from Great Britain, because asking someone to plan a trip before humiliating them at the airport is terrible manners and is the sort of thing which led yesterday to Jay Inslee, Governor of Washington, describing Trump’s actions as a “train wreck”. “These people couldn’t run a two-car funeral,” he said, although Trump remained unruffled by this and made it to his 3pm screening of Finding Dory in the White House cinema.

Meanwhile, more than one million people have signed the petition demanding Trump does not get an official state visit. One and a quarter million as I write this column, despite May announcing this morning that she rejects it outright. It is unclear if any of May’s advisors pointed out that a million signatures in less than 48 hours is almost, well, unprecedented. Or that the signatures came from every electoral borough too. Yes of course, from the lefty do-gooders of Brighton, and of Hove, and indeed from lots of leafy lefty London, but also from hundreds of Trump state visit refuseniks from remote nooks of the North, in Penrith, Stranraer and Skye, across Wales and throughout Northern Ireland.

Admittedly, watching the numbers on this petition grow minute by minute, in hefty chunks, is oddly reassuring. Because the petition’s wording is indeed rather quaint and nuanced, complaining of “causing embarrassment to the Queen” as if the 90-year-old mensch hasn’t seen off bigger rogues in her time – but still it suggests a certain solidarity on this subject.

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We know that in this country we are terribly good, after centuries of practice, at the pomp, the trumpets, the red carpet banquets, the whizzing about in little golden carriages, the closed roads and the glitzy cocktails and all the other tiny state visit touches. All the bells, bangs and whistles which allow grey elected bodies from across the globe to sweep into town for three days and leave feeling all special and pretty like Mia in The Princess Diaries. We’re British, it’s what we do. And many of us feel its an insult to us all to expect we’ll consent to this for Donald Trump.

The Big Orange One is welcome to book in, at his own expense, at the Mandarin Oriental in Hyde Park and have as many dismal little meetings with Prime Minister May over the “special relationship” as they so wish. But allowing him a state visit not merely communicates that Britain admires him, but furthermore suggests that any reported revulsion we have is “fake news” purported by failing news groups.