That thing you definitely heard and which is recorded on video isn't what you heard, says Trump

He claims that the "fake news" media has deliberately misheard him saying "Tim Cook, Apple"

He very obviously didn't though

Remember when Donald Trump called Tim Cook from Apple 'Tim Apple'? What a golden day that was. Every time you watched it, it got funnier. Tim Apple's face. Ivanka Trump looking like she wanted to leap over the table and yank the leads out of her dad's microphone. The gibberish segue into a defence of his doomed border wall.

Well, apparently it never happened. Trump has renewed his opposition to the idea of objective, observable reality by insisting that he never, ever called Tim Cook from Apple 'Tim Apple'.

Speaking to Republican National Committee donors under a big tent chucked up over a swimming pool at his Mar-a-Lago resort Trump denied that he ever called Tim Cook from Apple 'Tim Apple', according to Axios.

Trump said he had actually said 'Tim Cook, Apple' really, really fast, and that the "fake news" media had just missed the very, very, very, very soft 'Cook' which he had definitely said. Let's have another listen.

Hmm. If there's a 'Cook' in there then it's so fleeting that there needs to be a new unit of time devised to describe it. Trump doesn't even take a breath or pause between 'Tim' and 'Apple'. Timapple. If it's anywhere, it's locked in that tiny sliver of space between the 'm' and the 'a', trapped in an air bubble. Or, more likely, it's another lie to put next to the other 9,000-odd that have flowed since January 2017.

"I just thought, why would you lie about that," a donor who was present told Axios. "It doesn't even matter!"

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