Political pundits are debating whether Senator Barack Obama’s decision to spend time with his gravely ill grandmother poses a political risk.

But anyone who has ever had an ailing family member knows about another type of risk: the risk of regret.

During a recent lunch, a friend talked with me about how a grueling workload and onerous deadlines were making it difficult for her to visit her mother, who has been struggling with a health problem. But it was also clear to her that her family must come first. “I don’t want to have regrets,” she told me.

Today’s New York Times story “Obama Takes Time for a Woman Dear to Him” makes clear that this is a lesson that Mr. Obama has learned the hard way.

“The biggest mistake I made was not being at my mother’s bedside when she died,” he told The Chicago Sun-Times in 2004. “She was in Hawaii in a hospital, and we didn’t know how fast it was going to take, and I didn’t get there in time.”

When my own mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I had just taken a brief leave of absence to work on a book project. I tried to multi-task, spending time with her and working on my book when I could, but it wasn’t going well. My mother kept urging me to focus on work, but instead I made the decision to focus on my mom. It meant missing the deadline and jeopardizing the project, but that risk was far easier to accept than the risk of regret for missing time with my mom.

Given that my mother’s illness progressed far more quickly than we anticipated, it was clearly the right decision. There were consequences, of course. Key deadlines were missed and the editor was furious, but I never regretted my choice to be by my mother’s side when she drew her last breath.

But I was lucky to have had a choice. The stakes are so much higher not just for Mr. Obama, but for those people who risk losing their jobs entirely if they need extended leave to care for an ailing family member.

Have you had to choose between your job and time with a sick family member? Please join the discussion below.