People assume there is this incredibly hi-tech cockpit that gets me ready, but my routine is distressingly plebian. I get up, have a bath, shave and get dressed, and that’s it.

Men today do not understand the power of wardrobe. I think about what I wear. I am essentially a brand these days, so it is important my customers feel the figurehead of the brand is empowered to make design decisions. I can’t do that in a onesie.

It takes balls to be a dandy. The vast majority of what I wear comes from William Hunt. I used to feel sorry for William because often the top of the worst dressed in London list would be me or Jonathan Ross, and we would both be wearing William Hunt. But he felt he was appealing to the dark side of Savile Row, which is attractive to me. I once saw David Beckham trying on the same white suit as me. For a microsecond I saw this beatific, angelic creature and assumed it was my reflection. If only – I felt like a tubby John Travolta standing in front of the Angel Gabriel.

My wife says I grew a beard as another thing to groom. Most young men seem to grow beards merely so they don’t have to shave, so you get these ghastly Grimms’ fairytales things that have most of yesterday’s Pret a Manger in them. A “chinge” should be a fabulous silky addition. My beard makes up for the fact that, quite appallingly, I was born without a big foxy tail to play with.

Never turn your back on the power of gin. It has a way of bringing your face alive before walking into a room. It is a prerequisite of my tailoring that there is a little side pocket that can contain a vial of gin.

• Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen will be at the Ideal Home Show at Olympia London, 20 March to 6 April, idealhomeshow.co.uk.