Bisexual Herstory

February 12th 2017, just two days before Valentines Day, Tumblr user xliaxheartlock creates the acronym “FEB” for female exclusive bisexual women.

Later the acronym adopts “fem” for “female” NOT “feminist”.

There are so many reasons why a bisexual woman would identify with a term like FEBfem. This may include;

+ they slide more to the right of the Kinsey Scale

+ they don’t feel safe dating men and are protecting themselves from reliving past traumas or from being introduced to intimate partner male violence

+ they’ve never dated a man and don’t plan on starting anytime soon

+ maybe other women are the only ones who give them romantic and sexual attention so its not really a “choice” per say to be FEB

+ they’re GNC(gender non-conforming) and are tired of being pressured to perform femininity by male partners

+ they’ve stopped dating men for political or spiritual reasons

+ PIV(penis in vagina) is unenjoyable or maybe even painful for a multitude of health reasons or they are penis repulsed

Like anything else, the meaning of FEBfem can be misconstrued. There are some who feel threatened by the term and have unfortunately attempted to tarnish the reputations of women who identify with it.

This includes suggesting bi women who exclude men from their love lives are;

+ uptight and created the term to put other women down

+ self hating and wish they were lesbians because theyre embarrassed of being bisexual

+ were coerced or pressured into identifying as a FEBfem to promote political purity

+ just political lesbians in disguise(which insinuates they’re actually hetero)

While its extremely harmful to uncritically and hastily spread such misinformation, if you are curious about what FEBfem means you should ask a woman who identifies with the term instead of relying on outsiders. Please be respectful and understanding of the unique experiences of bisexual women.

xliaxheartlock’s blog seemed to have been short lived but I hope wherever she is she knows how greatly the women of the bi community appreciate her and how much we owe her for suggesting we simply start abbreviating a then up and coming term as important as female exclusive bisexual. An acronym may not seem like a big deal, but it completely changed the game. Thank you.