Happiness Motivation

The surest way to lose your self-worth is by trying to find it through the eyes of others

confidence building

Lack of confidence or self-confidence is not inevitable: self-confidence is built, shaped and maintained through concrete techniques and actions. Martine Teillac, psychoanalyst and psychotherapist, during an interview for Direct 8, explains that this construction work revolves around three aspects:





1- the inner discourse





Let us stop exacerbating our defects and forget our qualities. "The internal dialogue (...) will condition our behavior," explains Martine Teillac. These can be very simple sentences, for example, I meet my neighbor who does not say hello and I say "damn, I'm nil". I might have thought that "my neighbor has concerns, I do not mind that" and I do not ask questions. "





In other words, let us consider in our inner discourse everything that is of the order of devaluation, of the abusive interpretation that depreciates us and replaces these thoughts with a more objective (not positive) discourse, in order to avoid devaluation and a paralyzing favor a more benign and motivating look at oneself:





Mechanisms of valuation / depreciation

Edit an internal speech

From devaluation to care

Stop devaluing and creating a caring look









2- the construction of its own value scale: detaching itself from the past





"When we have parents who systematically put their finger on what is wrong, we will try to do the same, so put the past in its place, reconsider the criticisms of the parents, their injunctions and build our own system values, our own scale personality, "advises the psychoanalyst.





Education and the people who have manipulated it have given us wagons of limiting beliefs that have a negative vision and a mentality about ourselves. Give them their beliefs and create their own belief systems, which correspond to what we think and what we want to help us believe ... in ourselves. Some ways to put the past in its place and build our present:





Binding messages

Moral Values ​​and Driving Values

How we maintain our beliefs

Certitudes: try before you buy

Files to close

change its mode, change the world





3- the transition to action accompanied by the evaluation of the talents implemented





Taking action, even if it's a small step, rather than jumping into the great swim, is the prerequisite for self-confidence because it gives us proof of our abilities at every step of the way.





Martine Teillac proposes to self-assess, on a scale of 1 to 10, our confidence in us in specific situations. "It is a sure bet that you will very rarely be at the zero point of your competence, your know-how or your know-how". Realizing this, "you are counting on the fact that the estimate you made of yourself was perhaps prodigiously severe and not so adequate to the reality of the behaviors you are implementing."





As a result of this awareness and analysis of the skills, resources, qualities and talents we have, we are more willing to act, our comfort zone. Let us therefore return with these resources:





Rediscovering our natural talents

Recognizing our achievements

Natural talents at the heart of our emotions

Exit the comfort zone