Marge is the rock of the Simpson family. She's the heart. She's the engine. She's the glue. She's the (insert one syllable metaphor). When Homer is considering his next scheme, when Bart's off causing trouble, while Lisa is agonizing over her studies or social standing, Marge is keeping the family afloat. She's cutting off crusts. She's shoo-ing spiders for Homer. She's the only one who seems to take care of or even acknowledge Maggie's existence. Without Marge, the Simpsons would fall apart. In fact, multiple episodes have been dedicated to this. Remember when she took a day off to go to the spa? Remember when she had that gambling problem? Marge is the hero the Simpsons don't deserve.

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But what about Marge? Who is she outside of the family? Who is she independent from the thankless tasks and her unyielding motherly love? What does she do for fun? Whenever she does something for herself it always ends in disaster. Remember when she wanted to join the country club?

Does Marge have any friends? Patty and Selma are her sisters. The neighbors are all more acquaintances. Helen Lovejoy is a gossip. She barely talked to Maude Flanders before she died. Ruth Powers was a total nut.

So who?

In part academic analysis part fan fiction, BoJack Horseman creator Raphael Bob-Waksberg studied the question recently in 15 elegant tweets:

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Does Marge have friends? — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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(a poem in fifteen tweets) — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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Who are Marge’s friends? Is Helen Lovejoy a friend? Sarah Wiggum? Agnes Skinner? — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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To whom does Marge spill her secrets over coffee on cold days? Who laughs at Marge’s jokes? Who knows Marge, truly and well? — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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Who tells Marge to leave the brute, knowing she won’t? “You don’t have to stay. You deserve so much more.” — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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Who, on a morning walk, sees a tall blue bush, texts a photo to Marge, “this made me think of you”? Surely not Lenny, or Kirk or Luann. — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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Did Marge mourn for Maude Flanders? Late nights, at the kitchen table, staring at her own hands. Is she haunted still by her absence? — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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Does she see in her late neighbor a cautionary tale? Seldom-remembered, semi-anonymous Maude — could this fate too befall Marge? — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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Perhaps, once at a summer barbecue, when both were still alive, Maude grabbed Marge’s hand under the table and held tight. — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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What prompted this sudden connection, this sudden expression of— what was it, warmth? — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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The two weren’t close— acquaintances, sure, had they ever even hugged? — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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And yet here they were, holding hands, silently, secretly, while their children shrieked and their husbands grilled the hot dogs. — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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One night, Marge couldn’t sleep, the linens, hung to dry in the yard, flapping in the wind with unprecedented accent. — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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Marge wandered into the night, a fleck of yellow in a blanket of white stars, and she felt, as she often did, alone. — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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Marge felt the sharp grass on her feet, the breeze on her face. Over the fence she saw Maude, pale as a sheet, her eyes wet with tears. — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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Marge looked to her— “Maude?” and Maude shook her head. — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

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And Maude whispered this: “It’s not the calm before the storm that frightens me. It’s the calm that follows.” — Raphael Bob-Waksberg (@RaphaelBW) July 12, 2016

[H/T: The A.V. Club

Matt Miller Culture Editor Matt is the Culture Editor at Esquire where he covers music, movies, books, and TV—with an emphasis on all things Star Wars, Marvel, and Game of Thrones.

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