When one works, as I do, through the hustle and bustle of a ten hour hour working week it’s only fair that my employers reward this high pressure position with six weeks paid vacation. A vacation embarked upon by myself, Nick and Rich (two fellow English teachers at the nearby middle school) to attempt to cover a little of the country in which we currently reside.

While many teachers have decided to head south toward foreign shores in search of a warmer climate we decided to remain in China with the view of discovering more about the land in which we may never again find ourselves upon departure.

Harbin

The ice city of Harbin was to be our first destination. A Chinese city northeast of Beijing and further north than the famed winter town of Russia’s Vladivostok. To fly there from our local airport would have taken around five hours but one of us spotted a cheaper flight from Hong Kong convincing the others it would be a much worthier option regardless of the lengthier travel time. To save your weary eyes I will just say that it took us over 24 hours and some quality airport sleeping to complete a 5 hour journey in order to save fifty quid.

Despite this, the inevitable drunken accosting by an Englishman at HK airport and the fact that due to my miniature luggage I had to wear half the clothes I needed for Harbin (the city that regularly experiences temperature lows of up to -35) we eventually arrived at our destination.

Our late arrival saw our first evening spent exploring the main streets of Harbin, witnessing my first Chinese marriage proposal whilst experiencing a temperature my body has never even come close to before, including frozen bogies and icicle pikey tash.

After heading to and crossing the completely frozen river into Stalin’s park, getting lost brought the need for an emergency taxi situation. Just before we got ‘really’ cold we managed to flag down a cab complete with 50% working doors and nutcase of a driver to boot. And so we set off towards the Siberian Tiger Park picking up a similarly cold Harbin local en-route. Of course the mission was going too successfully for Richards liking, prompting him to forget how to exit a vehicle resulting in him falling out of a taxi with his trousers down. Neither driver nor passenger had ever seen a moon so pale, on this, the east side of the world.

The Siberian Tiger Park, home to more of the 200 tigers that exist than the wild. This bizarre experience saw us travelling around the park, where the tigers roam free, in a tin can on wheels. A tin can that would get stuck and fail to scare away any marauding tigers with its horn. While that was all well and good, escaping unscathed, now comes the moral dilemma to divulge what I played a part in afterwards. Being a Chinese safari park there was of course going to be a twist. And this particular twist came in the form of the option to purchase live animals to feed to the tigers. As we didn’t have enough money to opt for the sheep or the cow we went for the budget choice of a chicken. I should point out that the debate on whether to do this at all was of course a long one. With the winning argument coming down to several points, those being, that the chicken was done for anyway, the tigers should be eating live prey as opposed to rotting meat and the fact that it would be awesome to watch. However we did not bank on what would happen to the chicken before its final moments on planet earth. As none of us were prepared to actually do the deed of throwing the chicken ourselves we asked the vendor to do it for us. A request in which she read the desire to see the tigers riled up first. Grabbing the chicken by its wings she proceeded to drag the poor fated fowl across the cage, summoning the tigers towards us, before dangling at the leaping beasts and finally hurling it towards the big roost in the sky. A grim tale indeed and one which I’d rather not be judged on if possible readers.

To continue the tale the main purpose for our visiting Harbin was to view the annual ice festival in which an entire city is created from ice and lit from within. A rather spectacular feat that I am very glad to have experienced in person. For this event I will rely on a few photographs to do the describing for me.

To cap off, before you feast your eyes on my camera candy, it might be worth mentioning that our Harbin adventure ended with a night in a Russian discotech where my companions were a bearded Bristolian, a Ugandan, a Chinese Avril Lavigne, a group of (what could only have been lost) Kenyans and a Russian stripper. Perhaps I’ll explain more about that night on my secret unadulterated blog…..

See you in Beijing!