Although there's not much in the way of Aussie stats, Couples Therapist and Sexologist Isiah McKimmie tells Men's Health she's increasingly seeing couples who are finding that traditional ideas around relationships don't work for them.

"I’ve definitely seen an increase in couples choosing to explore open relationship and polyamory."

Intrigued? Here's what you need to know about polyamorous relationships.

What does polyamorous mean?

"Polyamory literally translates as ‘many loves’ so in polyamory people have more than one romantic partner at a time," McKimmie says. Polyamory is also described as "consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy."

What's the difference between polyamory vs open relationship?

"There are different forms of open relationship and polyamory, so the exact meaning of these will be different for everyone," McKimmie explains. "Essentially a open relationship is where partners are free to see other people. This might take various forms such as only having additional sexual partners or being free to pursue other relationships, for some people it also means a level of openness and honesty in communication that many relationships don’t have."

Despite exploring outside of the relationship, open relationships are still committed to loving only each other. Polyamorous people are often committed to loving multiple partners.

RELATED: What Is An Open Relationship And Does it Work?

What's the difference between polyamory vs polygamy?

As its most basic, polyamory means multiple loves and polygamy means multiple spouses. Most commonly polygamy is actually polygny – when one man marries multiple women. Polyamory, on the other hand, is not gender-exclusive.

What to do if you or your partner want to be in a polyamorous relationship?

"If you’re interested in exploring polyamory, you’ll need to have a really clear and open discussion with your partner," McKimmie says. "Share why you want to explore this and what it would mean to you. Be prepared to answer their questions and address their concerns."

And don't expect to be firing up Tinder seconds later.

"Deciding to move from a monogamous to a polyamorous relationship won’t happen in the course of one conversation, it will be something that you discuss over time with increasing clarity on agreements and how to best move forward in a way that feels good for both of you."

Emphasis on both. Everyone in a poly relationship needs to be on board.

"If you feel you need to convince or pressure your partner into polyamory, you’re likely to experience challenges in future," McKimmie says.

RELATED: "My First Sex Party Changed My Outlook On Everything"

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P olyamorous relationship advice:



You've made the decision with your partner, now how do you make polyamory work?

1. Communication is key

"It’s important that you keep the discussion open as the relationship progresses," McKimmie says.

You need to feel comfortable expressing about what's working for you and what isn't. Check-ins are an important part of polyamorous relationships and you should be prepared to talk out new challenges and changes as they come up.

2. Be clear about boundaries

Before starting any new relationships, talk through the logistics and establish some ground rules. Is anyone off limits? How will you divide your time? Will you spend time together as a group? What behaviours are ok?

3. Take your time

Moving to polyamory can be a major transition, so McKimmie recommends taking your take when making the decision and seeking new relationships. It’s hard to know how you’ll really feel about your partner having another relationship until you dip your toe in the water, so don't rush in ready to fill up your diary with dates.

4. Expect challenges

While you might be open minded, you're still human (and socially conditioned towards monogamy).

"Expect that jealousy will arise and be prepared for it," McKimmie says. "Give each other space to discuss your emotions and needs."

Polyamorous relationship stories

Want to know how poly relationships work IRL? Here are some people's experience with polyamory as shared on Reddit.

"If poly had a motto, the motto would be, "love is infinite. Time and energy are not." The other motto would be, "Communicate, communicate, communicate. (And use Google Calendar.) Some poly relationships are totally equal. Some have primaries and secondaries. So for example your wife might be your primary and your girlfriend might be your secondary. This is fine as long as everyone is on the same page about expectations. Right now I have several secondaries (who themselves all have other primaries) and no primary, because I am really freaking busy and don't have time for a primary relationship right now." – TryUsingScience

"In short, it works pretty darn well. It's somewhat more complicated and sometimes harder, but not as much so as you might think. It's prompted a lot more communication and similar positive side effects. The impact on our sex life has been somewhat positive (guess what? more communication is a good thing!), but not terribly dramatic." – EvanDaniel

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