Portland, Oregon, is located in the Northwestern United States. Portland is considered the cultural mecca for the most refined vision of Democratic Socialism. Known as a Marxist hub for modern cultural and political violence, all tourists are eligible for complimentary helmets as they travel to and from various points of interest.

In addition to teaching your kids new words, Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler welcomes each visiting family. Together, he and his leadership team are committed to maximum excitement during your stay. Welcome to Portland – You’ll fight like hell to enjoy it, or else: