People have been quick to blame the tragic murder of Eurydice Dixon, a Melbourne-based aspiring comedian, on anyone but the murderer himself.

Some have made the observation that it is unwise for a woman to walk home by herself late at night, as Eurydice did. And this has caused a storm. Of course, in an ideal world a woman should be able to move through the world free from risk. Eurydice should have been safe as she walked home. But the brutal reality is that she was not. She was raped and killed on 13 June. A horrendous crime. Pointing out that women are not always safe, and that they should sometimes take measures to protect themselves from risk, has become virtually unsayable. The implication is that excuses are being made for perpetrators. And making excuses for men who rape and kill is evidence of the prevalence of a ‘culture of violence against women’, we’re told.

That is certainly how Daniel Andrews, the premier of Victoria, where Melbourne is, is approaching the incident. On his Facebook page he wrote: ’Eurydice Dixon was 22 years old. She was an aspiring comedian. Smart, funny. She lived in the inner north. Surrounded by friends.

She had a phone. She was using it: “I’m almost home safe.”

She was keeping an eye on her surroundings. Looking out for herself. Being responsible. Doing everything we expect. But Eurydice did not make it home safe.

In a few days, women across Melbourne will gather in Princes Park for a vigil of her life. And they will do so firm in the knowledge that Eurydice died because of her attacker’s decisions – not because of her own.

They’re right. And we need to accept that fact, too. We’ll never change a thing until we do.

We’ll never change this culture of violence against women. All women. We’ll never change the fact that one woman in this country dies every week at the hands of a partner or former partner – someone they loved, in the safety of their own home.

We’ll keep asking “Why didn’t she leave him?” instead of asking “Why did he hurt her?”. We’ll keep asking “Why was she alone in the dark?” instead of asking “Why was he?”.

We’ll keep ignoring the real problem, instead of actually fixing it. So our message to Victorian women is this: Stay home. Or don’t.