Jeremy Roloff Admits to Looking at ‘Risqué’ Images After Marrying Audrey: It Was an ‘Addiction’

He’s coming clean. Former Little People, Big World stars Jeremy Roloff and Audrey Roloff are both very open about sharing the intimate details of their lives with fans — and they definitely didn’t hold anything back in their new biography, A Love Letter Life. In one excerpt from their book, Jeremy, 28, revealed that he struggled with porn addiction both in his past and during his marriage, and he got extremely candid about how he overcame it.

“When I first met Audrey, I was failing behind the computer screen,” Jeremy wrote in his chapter. “I had wandering eyes when it came to risqué images and social media profiles I had no business looking at. I know many men who excuse their porn habit because there is no nudity, but the sin of porn can happen in the mind with or without articles of clothing, no matter whether it’s on an Instagram feed or an explicit website.”

Then Jeremy met Audrey, 27, in 2010 and he felt a new sense of conviction to keeping his purity for her. “God definitely used Audrey to wake me up. I began to evaluate who I was becoming and discerned that my actions were inconsistent with the man I aspired to be — a man of maturity, discipline and self-control,” he wrote.

“I began pursuing Audrey and wouldn’t look at anything risqué for weeks at a time,” he continued. “But sure enough, every month or so, I’d get lazy, bored or stressed and find myself scrolling in places I shouldn’t be. Afterward, I always felt gross and disappointed in myself.”

Jeremy admitted that his Instagram scrolling habits were an “addiction.” He would try to avoid his temptation and “get clean,” but he would keep finding himself falling back into his porn habit. He credited author Charles Duhigg’s book The Power of Habit with helping him understand his routine of “looking at images of half-naked women” so that he could learn how to break it. The former reality star realized that he would scroll through his feed out of boredom or stress, so he would have to replace his bad habit with a positive one. Whenever he felt bored or stressed, he would do push-ups instead.

That solution only worked for a year. Jeremy admitted that he was under a lot of stress after his wedding to Audrey, and that is what eventually led to him falling back into his bad habit.

“It wasn’t until we moved to Bend, Oregon, in our second year of marriage, that I identified the foundational failure behind my failure to kill the sin: I had been trying to overcome my addiction on my own,” Jeremy realized.

But Jeremy and Audrey found a sense of community in Bend by joining a house church, which is a small group of Christians who meet in a private home. In that church group, Jeremy met a pastor who had no tolerance for habitual sin. “He called me out and set me straight as he explained the biblical truths about someone who refuses to turn from sin and walk in righteousness,” Jeremy wrote.

After receiving so much support from his church group, Jeremy finally gained the courage to confess to Audrey. During one of their Sunday night marriage journaling sessions, Jeremy was faced with the question: “Is there any unconfessed sin, conflict or hurt that we need to resolve or seek forgiveness for?”

“I began the humbling process of confessing my sin and asking Audrey for forgiveness. When I saw the look of betrayal in her eyes, I felt mournfully sorry. Tears ran down her beautiful face,” Jeremy wrote. When Audrey asked Jeremy why he committed those sins, he didn’t have an answer.

“Audrey was devastated. My behavior had fractured our trust, scarred our intimacy and broken our unity,” Jeremy continued. But he repented his sins and promised Audrey that he would only have eyes for her. “After apologizing to Audrey and getting my darkness into the light, I was set free — again. Only this time I had the backing of Christian accountability.”

Be sure to pick up a copy of Jeremy and Audrey’s book, A Love Letter Life, available on April 2.