American scientists test their drilling equipment on Antarctica's McMurdo Ice Shelf in preparation to drill through the Antarctic ice sheet into Lake Whillans in January.

NAGOYA, Japan – It must have looked great on paper. People like movies. People like amusement park rides. Why not show people a movie in an motorized seat? Better still, why not throw in smoke machines and fans and turn the movie-going experience into a two-hour ride? Yet the so-called 4DX experience, which debuted in Japan last weekend at a showing of Iron Man 3, is a drag.

The seats move back and forth, up and down, and side to side. Their backs vibrate. Pressurized air provides either a steady breeze or quick, startling bursts. Nozzles spray water into your face. Lights on the walls flash and machines pour steam into the auditorium. (Two features advertised as part of the 4DX experience were absent from the Iron Man 3 showing: I never smelled anything out of the ordinary and I didn’t see any bubbles. ) But the bells and whistles distract from rather than enhance the film, leaving the viewer exhausted rather than enthralled.

Whatever novelty the 4DX effects might have is spoiled from the start thanks to the commercial for 4DX customers must sit through at the beginning of the film. In the short trailer, a police car in hot pursuit is joined by a young man in a movie seat, cheering and shouting at every turn and leap as if he is really there. The audience is jostled in all directions accordingly. It’s supposed to be a warm-up before the main event, but instead it lays all the gimmicks on the table. The crowd never let out a bigger yelp during the movie than they did during those first few minutes, and why would they? It’s a case of diminishing returns: The first time a spritz of water hits your face, it’s a surprise. The seventh time it happens, you just wonder if it’s ruining your sweater.

More to the point, the 4DX technology is wasted precisely because it is used to startle the audience rather than to support the film. In an amusement park ride like Back to the Future or Spider-Man, there’s a reason as to why the riders are being shaken about. Those rides provide a crafted first-person physical experience, and attempt to simulate the experience of a vehicle under assault or otherwise disturbing . A movie like Iron Man 3 isn’t filmed that way, brief action moments aside. There’s no reason to be jolted each time Tony Stark takes a punch or fires a repulsor blast, because the audience is not Tony Stark.

Worse still, the 4DX effects are used at every possible moment, as if the audience would get bored if not physically stimulated for more than sixty seconds. Car makes a U-turn? Shake the seat. Fireworks? Seat vibrates. Luggage hits the floor? Bzzzzz.

Yet even when the 4DX effects might make sense, the experience is fundamentally flawed because it interferes with the simple act of watching a film. A 3-D film can often seem a little blurry thanks to the layered images, but it’s even blurrier when your head is shaking back and forth. The action sequences, the ones you ostensibly came to see in 3-D on a big screen, are nearly impossible to appreciate thanks to all the constant, jarring seat motions. The only time I did appreciate the 3-D was when during the squirting effects. At least then then glasses kept the water out of my eyes.

There's also the matter of the price tag. Here in Japan, where a typical movie ticket costs 1800 yen (about $18), the 4DX showing cost 2800 yen (about $28) per adult admission, plus the fee for the 3-D glasses. Although Korona World actually gave 4DX customers a free popcorn and soda to offset the increased ticket price, the 4DX managed to interfere with the basic logistics of consuming snacks or drinks. When the aforementioned effects-introduction began, my soda was nearly launched into the next row. Rather than risk an embarrassing spill, I decided to just scarf it all down in-between action scenes.

On an even simpler level, 4DX means there’s nowhere to put your stuff. The seats move up and down so much it’s too risky to leave anything bigger than an umbrella under your feet. Anything in your lap is a potential projectile, meaning you cling to it for dear life or kiss it goodbye. It’s like flying through turbulence without the courtesy of an overhead compartment or even a seat pocket.

In the short term, however, the experiment appears to be a success. I attended a screening at 9 AM – hardly an ideal viewing time – and the show had sold out hours in advance. Korona World’s booking website indicates strong ticket sales for the remainder of the current holiday period known as Golden Week. Customers were clearly intrigued by the new equipment. Many stayed after the screening to photograph empty 4DX seats, including one woman who exclaimed “They’re so cool!” But it's hard to see this level of interest persisting after the novelty wears off.

The 4DX experience purports to make watching a movie “more intense and immersive by using all your senses” when the opposite is true. Movies are already designed to dazzle your eyes and ears. Nothing could be less immersive than shoehorning in the remaining senses thanks to a dancing chair with a water gun.

Personally, I came away from 4DX more appreciative of the normal moviegoing experience and found Iron Man 3 entertaining in spite of all the extras, not because of them. Had the movie been less enjoyable, the 4DX would have become unbearable. I'm not a cinema purist. I own a flat screen television, a laptop, a tablet, and a smartphone. I believe it’s possible to enjoy a movie on any of those devices. I even believe it could be possible to enjoy a 4DX movie, if filmmakers made film specifically suited to that technology rather than adding bubbles and vibrating seats where they aren't needed and don't belong.

Until then, just let me enjoy a popcorn flick with motion-free popcorn.