For the fourth installment of the Trans Physician & Trans Scientist Project, I spoke with Lana Hiscock about her transition, the role of religion in her journey, and the need to reach out to and educate rural communities about transgender topics.

Jamie Moffa: Let’s start with name and pronouns?

Lana Hiscock: Lana Hiscock, and she/her.

JM: All right. How do you identify in terms of your gender and sexuality?

LH: I would have always considered myself, I guess, gay when I was a kid. But now I would be straight, and female.

JM: Okay, and what is your current job or position?

LH: My current position is a PhD student in chemistry.

JM: Oh, very cool!

LH: At Wilfrid Laurier University.

JM: Where is that, because you said you’re not from the US?

LH: No, I’m actually from Newfoundland, Canada, but I’m currently in Waterloo, Ontario.

JM: How is it up there?

LH: It is very cold.

JM: I would imagine.

LH: I’m not a fan, to be honest.

JM: But there are reasons to not come south into the states.

LH: Yes, very much so. I mean, I could not ask for a better country in terms of being very accepting and progressive, so I’m very lucky in that regard.

JM: All right. So now, let’s talk a little bit about your process of questioning your gender, your “gender journey,” so to speak.

LH: To be honest, I came out originally as a gay guy. I didn’t fully question my gender in a specific, you know, actually thinking about it until I was about 25. And that’s when I actually accepted I was a trans woman, and not a gay guy. And for whatever reason, I guess when I was younger it was just easier to say, “Well, I’m attracted to guys, and that’s bad enough.” But when I look back at growing up, I was always extremely effeminate, and in my mind, the people that I always saw myself growing into, they were always women. Which, I don’t think is a normal reaction for boys, necessarily. And so, after a lot of introspection, I started HRT.

JM: So when did you first come out to someone else, and what was that like?

LH: So that would have been in 2016, probably some of the first people I came out to were my soon-to-be graduate supervisors for grad school, just to give them a heads-up. And they were very accepting, and really didn’t care, to be honest. And then friends. And then my family were really last, to be honest.

JM: Was your family, friends, and community supportive, or did you get any push-back?

LH: They were not supportive, but I did not really get any push-back. And it helped that I was moving away, concurrently. I kind of did it right at the same time.

JM: So are you currently out at work?

LH: Yes, so I’m completely out full-time. Essentially since I started HRT I just kind of went for it. That was July of 2016.

JM: When you were applying for your PhD program, were you out about your gender on those applications?

LH: No. And there was no good reason for that, other than I hadn’t really come out to myself when I applied.

JM: Makes sense. When you’re at work, do you find yourself needing to come out to new colleagues who don’t know you’re trans, and what is that experience like?

LH: That’s kind of been interesting, you know? I always thought that I had a lot of trouble passing, so the first time that I actually had somebody in disbelief that I was trans, I didn’t really believe them. But, overall, the experience with that has been perfectly fine. Most people do know beforehand, which is honestly nice, you know? I guess in a way. It’s fine. People are more educated these days, you know what I mean? They’re not ignorant. So, it’s fine most of the time.

JM: That leads me into my next question: do you think that the scientific community is generally accepting to transgender scientists?

LH: I think so. Completely. So I’ve given quite a few talks at a couple of the national conferences, and some of the smaller ones. I’ve never had any trouble whatsoever. And I think in general, chemists are probably a bit more conservative out of the sciences, but they don’t show it, and if they do have any opinions they do keep them to themselves, and are very polite.

JM: That’s really good to hear. Do you think that there is anything within the scientific community that could be done better, as far as acceptance of trans and nonbinary people?

LH: Well, yes. I mean, depending on what you mean. For me, generally, probably not. Some of the worst things that I’ve had to go through is, for example, going to a conference, staying in res, and just having the uncomfortableness of having to shower somewhere. That’s probably the worst of it. But, if you look at scientists in general, certain scientists could do more research on trans issues. Just because there’s not a whole lot that’s done. Especially, I would think, on the biomedical side, with HRT and such. Sure we have recommendations, but I don’t know of any legit, well-thought-out studies¹.

JM: And what areas do you think are kind of lacking, specifically, in that research?

LH: In the research? I mean, what is actually metabolically protective and good for trans men or women. What regimens are the healthiest for our bodies and our organs as we age, as well. Is it best to undergo HRT before having an orchiectomy, or if you know, is it better just to have that done? I think that’s maybe some of the questions. And then, in the social sciences, I think sometimes trans issues are ignored, even when the LGBT is the focus of the research, often the T is ignored. Which isn’t great.

JM: No, certainly not. Do you consider yourself to be a member of the broader transgender and LGBT community?

LH: Yes.

JM: And, did you ever consider that one way or another, or were you always like, “Yeah, I’m a member of this community”?

LH: Yeah, no, I definitely considered, just, not. But I think there’s something to be said for solidarity and “One for all” type stuff.

JM: And are you involved in any advocacy for the trans or LGBT community?

LH: I’m not, and I really think that’s something that I should get into, especially in the future. You know, eventually I would like to be a professor, so I think that would give me a pretty good in-road to helping with stuff like that.

JM: What kind of advocacy do you think you would want to get involved in?

LH: So I actually grew up in a very religious household that was very anti-LGBT. I would really like to reach out to those small, isolated communities, which are really still 50 years behind, and just try to reach those people.

JM: I think that’s definitely an area that needs focus and attention.

LH: I don’t know how you make a program for that where it’s so widespread and so rural, but something in that regard would be much needed. Because, you know, even where I grew up, there’s still nothing like that.

JM: And probably a good number of the people aren’t actively hateful, they just don’t know anything about the community.

LH: No, exactly. And that’s it. It comes back to the ignorance thing. Where it’s–they don’t know any better, and a lot of that is exposure, right? If you’re not exposed to different people and different viewpoints, you can become very close-minded.

JM: Where you live, do you see a disconnect between more urban and more rural areas when it comes to that exposure?

LH: Absolutely, especially with respect to the province where I’m from. So I grew up in a community of about 500-700 people, and the area is quite rural itself, so in the area where I went to high school, there are maybe only 2500 people. So it really is quite small. But when I went away to university, in the capitol, people are much more progressive, there are lots of visible gay and lesbian people, and it’s much easier to be yourself. But in my hometown it was quite different. I went back for the summer, and this was quite a trip.

JM: Oh, did they not know you were trans before you went back?

LH: A lot of people did not.

JM: What was that experience like for you?

LH: It was interesting. The biggest thing, honestly, was how little credit I gave people. There were a lot of people who I assumed would say nasty things, or at least think nasty thoughts, or give me nasty looks, but no. A lot of people really did surprise me in how much they’ve changed, at least over the past 20 years.

JM: You said earlier that your family was not accepting when you came out. Have they become more accepting over the years? What has that been like?

LH: Yes, my family is excellent right at the moment. It blows my mind. So I grew up Pentecostal, which is very fundamentalist Evangelical, and my parents still attend a Pentecostal church. However, they’ve gotten to the point where they refer to me as their daughter, they call me as my chosen name, and I think they would stand up for me. Which means a lot, because there was a long time when I didn’t think that that was the case. But they’ve come a very long way.

JM: That’s great! I’m really glad to hear that. And you’ve mentioned several times your religious upbringing and your religion, so what impact have your religious beliefs and upbringing had on your journey and your transition?

LH: Oh my. Well, you know, it’s hard not to be a little bit bitter with the upbringing that I did have, just because it was so hateful in a lot of ways. But at the same time, I am grateful that I do have some sort of faith, and I really enjoy the church that I am in now. When I was growing up, it was a source of a lot of internal conflict, because I knew what everybody was saying from the pulpit in church or in youth group–oh my God there was a lot of this hammered home. Even masturbation, you know. It was very, very fundamentalist, everything’s bad. And so, that was really hard, when you look at the fact, well, I’m attracted to boys, and I’m in the body of a boy, so that on its face is wrong. And that’s really what I struggled with the most. Because I wasn’t allowed to be effeminate. My mother caught me wearing makeup once and said, “Don’t let your father catch you with that on.” So that was the end of it, until I went to university. So it was very difficult, growing up in that religious environment.

JM: And how does your religion impact and affirm your life now?

LH: So now I’m attending a church which is very affirming. I know the Anglican church of Canada voted against allowing same-sex marriages within the church, however, the individual churches are allowed to perform them if they wish. And so my congregation is one that has decided to go forward with that. So it’s quite affirming. And I think I went from being upset at God, that He made me this way, to trying to see some sort of purpose that I am a trans woman, and that’s okay, and that’s good, and that’s what I was meant to be, rather than it’s a mistake and I’m going against what God wants.

JM: I’m really glad to hear that you have an affirming faith now, and a church that seems to be a bit more progressive.

LH: Thank you, me too.

JM: Does your role as a researcher influence your views on current issues in the transgender community at all?

LH: Yes, to a degree, I guess. I mean, I do have a fairly analytical mind. I guess, what type of current issues do you mean?

JM: For example, the informed consent model vs. needing to get a diagnosis of gender dysphoria to get treatment.

LH: I would say I am a fan of the informed consent model. Well, see, I’m torn, because a lot of people don’t like pathologizing being trans, but I actually found that quite nice. I liked that, I guess, somewhat. And I’m a bit torn if it goes away. So I don’t know.

[Note: Lana stated later that “I don’t find pathologizing my trans identity to be at all comforting today. That was something that I got over when I became comfortable with being a trans woman, well into my transition.”]

JM: It’s, on the one hand, it’s very definitive, like, “Yes, this is a thing that’s going on and we recognize it.” And on the other hand, it can cause a lot of gatekeeping.

LH: Yes. Which, you know, I didn’t like being gatekeeped. Because I was of the mind that yes, I am trans give me hormones. Whereas my doctor didn’t know shit, and I had to print off research papers, which I wouldn’t have been able to access without my university proxy. So I think that’s a bit ridiculous, but anyway.

JM: So, what is the biggest challenge that you’ve faced as a transgender researcher?

LH: Honestly, I think it is just getting over myself. I really can’t speak for everyone, but I honestly don’t think that too many people really care. I’ve even interacted with really conservative people who you would expect to have issues within the scientific community, and they don’t say anything either. So in that regard, I feel that’s okay interpersonally. My biggest thing is getting over myself. And I would say, for example, getting up and giving a presentation, that’s really really hard for me, because I hate my voice. Stuff like that. That’s the worst.

JM: And on the flip side, what has been the best or most uplifting experience you’ve had as a transgender person in science?

LH: How interested people are. So I’m fairly open about stuff, I feel like I don’t mind talking about shit, and if people get their questions out on me, then they’ll leave other people alone, right? More knowledge is good for everyone, and if they’re harmlessly interested, well then that’s fine. So I’ll talk about anything. And I think that’s probably one of the coolest things is just people’s interest in our issues.

JM: What are those conversations like for you, when you’re answering questions from a colleague or educating colleagues on transgender issues?

LH: Sometimes they’re funny. People really don’t always know that much, and sometimes we assume that people know stuff, even about their own anatomy, that they don’t know. We think that people know this, and they don’t. Which I find very amusing.

JM: And then, my last official question is: What is your message to upcoming generations of transgender or gender non-conforming scientists?

LH: I would say that, as long as you’re in a geographical area that’s safe for you to do so, I would say, feel free to come out and be yourself. Because the scientific community is going to help you along. They’re not going to stand in the way of you being yourself.

JM: That’s a really great message! I think a lot of the scientific community is very rationally-minded, so–

LH: If it makes you happy and it doesn’t hurt anybody else, you can do so.

¹There is at least one paper on the subject of the long-term impact of HRT by the ENIGI group in Belgium, led by Dr. Guy T’Sjoen: Prospective evaluation of hematocrit in gender-affirming hormone treatment: results from European Network for the Investigation of Gender Incongruence (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29602229)

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