'No. 1, The Thames', a bomb-proof disused fort located in the middle of the London river, has found a buyer.

A deal was struck at £400,000 with estate agents Riverhomes, The Independent can reveal, though the new owner of the vast property wants to "go under the radar" for now, at least until they've secured planning permission for the renovation.

It may be hopelessly dilapidated at present, but the fort was still a bargain.

£400,000 could have bought you a one-bedroom flat in this central London tower block...

(Rightmove)

Or your very own river fortress from which to conspire evil plans and hold apocalyptic parties!

(Picture: No Bounds Photography) (No Bounds)

£400,000 could also have bought you a flat in a new build in Hackney...

(Rightmove)

Or a would-be mansion with a gun housing that can be turned into a swimming pool!

Gun housing could make for a perfect swimming pool (RiverHomes)

This east London terraced house also cost the same amount...

(Rightmove)

But look at the views! That is definitely not a brick wall and the vent on next door's bathroom.

The view from the fort (RiverHomes)

This £400,000 property is pretty cute in fairness...

(Rightmove)

But it doesn't have the potential to be turned into a nightclub accessible by speedboat does it?

(RiverHomes)