Do you like frozen yogurt? How about sledding? What about getting some overpriced bottle service in a mostly empty club because that’s what the “cool” rich kids do with their parent’s credit cards? If you answered “yes” to all these questions then you’re in luck, because your paradise is no longer lost since it’s been found over at New York University. According to this video brunch is a mandatory activity where a lack of attendance ends in death (presumably) and the only sorority available on campus is Alpha Epsilon Phi. Sucks to be you if you’re not:

A. Basic as fuck

Or,

B. Jewish

Then again, you could always just choose to go elsewhere to get your college degree. I can think of at least 5 other schools right off the top of my head that are just as overpriced as NYU, so if you’re looking to blow wads of cash for a liberal arts degree that’ll throw you into crippling student debt, you’ve got options.