After living overseas for two years, Josh Martin has realised what makes NZ stand out from the crowd.

Just over two years away from Godzone in the UK and you start to realise all the great abilities and weird oddities that make New Zealand stand out from the crowd.

We all know the Brits love whingeing (preferably whilst in a queue) so pardon me while I assimilate.

1. Our produce may be expensive but it is world class.

Christine Cornege Our produce is expensive, but world-class.

I'm the first to grumble when two bags of groceries cost me nearly $90 at New World but after three summers of tasteless tomatoes and average apricots it's clear why New Zealand was the UK's farm on the other side of the world. Our fresh fruit, veges, meat and seafood actually taste of something other than textured water.

The deli delights of Europe are on offer in London and I relish paying only $2 for Serrano ham and French cheese (thanks EU food subsidies and UK supermarket price wars), but what I really want is some proper Granny Smiths and a dozen fresh Green-lipped mussels.

2. Smokers are out of sight and out of mind

Ryan Pierse Smokers are treated like social lepers in NZ.

The respective smoking rates between the UK and New Zealand is something close to 25 per cent versus 20 per cent, which sounds small but on the street it's very noticeable. Back home smokers (rightly or wrongly) are treated like social lepers. Where I work, in the City of London, despite the saturation of wealthy, highly educated people, they are free to clog up the streets puffing fumes in your face.

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3. Europeans assume we're backwards, but we aren't the ones doing everything by post – still

Peter Drury Ah 50c lollies, what would we do without you?

You can pay for a 50c bag of lollies in any dairy in New Zealand with an Eftpos card and not raise eyebrows. In the UK that' a huge dairy (sorry, corner shop) faux pas. Eventually when you lose said Eftpos card (sorry, bank card) replacing one is daunting.

You could say it's vigilant of a bank to send a new one in three steps, all by post and then require you to come into the bank after the final step to get it sorted. You could say that, but it'd be more accurate to call them backward. I half-expected Lloyds Bank to send it in pieces for me to assemble in case some crim is going through my post. For all the jibes I get about our all sheep and no people, I could set up a flat's bills in 48 hours in NZ, in the UK try a three week wait for an internet connection. Useless.

4. Nobody cares that much about rugby

Phil Walter No one cares about rugby as much as the Kiwis.

I know that might sting a little, but picture this: I'm walking around Piccadilly Circus when England was (apparently) hosting the Rugby World Cup, I see a large crowd gathered in Trafalgar Square: "Excellent", I thought, "it must be a public screening of one of the games". But it wasn't rugby, it was football. But not even that football, it was some American NFL screening to hype up the US import to UK audiences.

Luckily, I thought I could catch up by perusing the UK's many newspapers…but The Sun, Telegraph, Guardian, even the Times gave far more column inches to football and cricket because, well, few people cared about the RWC and even less after the hosts crashed out. Mention New Zealand when passing through Europe and you might get a response of: "All Blacks!" and a few mimed haka stances. Then nothing. But like any minority in a big crowd having the rugby bond in a football nation does make our Kiwi clan feel more patriotic.

5. Our isolation is a blessing and a curse

Olivia Harris Regent Street is packed with Christmas shoppers.

A blessing because you can find solace even in the middle of a city and even better out in the wilderness. You don't need to dodge crowds and do excessive cropping in order to get a tourist-free photos. Very few things sell out because we're not competing with millions of people, so you can plan things at the last minute (like Christmas shopping and shows).

A curse because it can mean our exposure to new cultures and languages can be non-existent and on our own terms, it make us slightly introverted, unaware and even parochial (yes, I know that contradicts with our much-hyped social liberalism). Isolation means we can pick and choose what world events to care about – it was hard not to to feel involved in the refugee crisis when it's right on your doorstep in the Mediterranean.

6. New Zealand needs to embrace its history

KEVIN STENT/FAIRFAX NZ Kiwi kids often don't even learn how our nation came to be.

History is everywhere in the UK and the rest of Europe. It is seen as an asset to admire. Not so in New Zealand. I walk past remnants of the centuries old London Wall each day. On holiday it's the Pantheon, the Berlin Wall, Ephesus. Festivals like Hogmanay, Bonfire night, Christmas markets…and yes, St. Patrick's day and Oktoberfest.

New Zealand has a rich and dramatic history too, pity that we all think it started around 1800. Despite the invasions, defeats and changing national boundaries of Europe, each nation, clan and ethnic group is proud of its roots and speak loudly of their stories, making it all the more glaring that Kiwi kids often don't even learn how our nation came to be.

7. Kiwi travellers are reserved and quiet and I love it

The kiwi traveller is usually reserved ... and quiet.

If you don't like generalisations, well I don't know why you're reading this. But I love a Kiwi traveller. Intrepid, respectful and … quiet.

Despite needing to yell across valleys to communicate to our neighbours back home, when on the road a Kiwi traveller knows the whole bus doesn't need to know exactly why the Colosseum didn't meet their expectations, about their wild night out, or how they are hankering for a Starbucks (please take note, American tourists).

8. Every nation defines itself as hard working

123RF We didn't invent hard work and we're not the best at it either.

Again, this isn't the nicest thing to hear: We're not special. We didn't invent hard work and we're not the best at it either. Americans get two weeks annual leave if they are lucky, Brits built an empire (not a task for the slovenly), the French, Spanish and Italians spent decades building intricate monuments we still marvel at today.

Some Asian cultures have "Tiger Mums" who raise their kids to be all work and no play. German hard work keeps the Eurozone ticking along. Poles, of course are "taking all the jobs" in the UK because of their amazing work ethic. All hard-working, industrious peoples. I could go on, but I can't be bothered (see, a German writer probably would endeavour to finish this brief cultural note).

9. New Zealand is the ugly duckling that got hot

STUFF If we're still not "on the map" after Sir Ed, Peter Jackson and Lorde – we probably won't be

If our nation could be personified, it wouldn't be the stoic southern man wearing a Swanndri. It would be a neglected middle child who was bullied but then blossomed into a stunner. The result: a national psyche unsure of itself and in constant need of the approval of others.

A visiting Hollywood nobody says something about our beautiful landscapes – front page news! "Please more, more." Someone with a stroke of success has a tenuous Kiwi connection – "They're ours! Hand off, Australia" Super Rugby teams and John Cleese bag our smaller cities – Boo! Hiss! "Burn them at the stake!". C'mon Kiwis, chill a little. If we're still not "on the map" after Sir Ed, Peter Jackson and Lorde – we probably won't be (or you're looking at the wrong map). And that's OK.

10. Our public drinking laws have it all wrong

NZPA/Ross Setford Stricter laws haven't stamped out binge drinking in NZ. Do we have it wrong?

Please don't give me that crap about New Zealand binge drinking culture, it's a poor excuse for inaction. Stricter laws have not stamped it out. All around the world people want to let off steam and all around the world I have seen inebriated people. On balance, Europeans do it right.

I was welcomed back to Wellington in April with a stern caution from three officers about carrying a bottle of wine (cap intact) back from a BYO on Courtenay Place. (I know, how dare I try and take it home without finishing it?) It seems a grossly uneconomical use of police power compared to Europe where adults are free to make sensible decisions about drinking in public (A summer bbq with beers in a London park, or a couple of wines along Paris canal, Sangria in the sand in Barcelona).

11. So do our public transport plans

Jason Dorday Auckland's on to something with that neon pink bridge teeming with lycra-clad commuters.

Tourists rave about the UK public transport (even if this is occasionally drowned out by Brits whingeing about its delays and ticket prices). Tube chat is up there with weather chat in the London small-talk rankings. Cycling to work in the Netherlands is a way of life. The only way to see Switzerland is by rail.

But planning a cycle way on a seemingly wide commuter road in Wellington was enough for a Mayor to throw in the towel and talkback radio to howl. Suddenly, not so progressive. Auckland's on to something with that neon pink bridge teeming with lycra-clad commuters, but why is this the exception to the rule? Moving to London means I might make it to 30 before ever owning a car – social suicide in New Zealand but acceptable and economical over here.

12. Can we please get EU-style flight delay laws?

MARION VAN DIJK EU law dictates that you get compensated for certain flight delays.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could claim a tiny share of Air New Zealand and Qantas' record profits for those times their delays cost you dearly? Well, had your delay occurred in the European Union, you could have.

I've been left aggrieved in a departure lounge for several hours due to airline debacles. Eventually, in the end I was delivered to my destination ... followed by a compensation cheque for £200 (NZ$360) from the airline a week later. Nice. Thanks EU law.

13. A Mediterranean rocky beach is just a large massage table

GEORGE HEARD/FAIRFAX NZ There's a lot to love about our beaches.

I can rattle off a dozen world class beaches all within two hours of my family home in Thames. They are clean, uncrowded and, get this, free. They also have sand. Sand is a rare commodity along the Med (best found near Barcelona, Montpellier and Fethiye) and tourists scoff at Europeans contorted and crammed on pebbles, rocky outcrops and platforms – or, even worse, paying for space on the beach.

But wealthy zen-seeking types the world over pay $200 a pop to have hot stones placed on their backs while Peruvian wood pipe music plays in the background. Suckers, for free I slept-off an early flight to Marseilles on some hot grey stones to the dulcet tones of a French family squabbling and Euro-trash pumping from the beach club. Yes, the beach club. Supply and demand has given rise to these waterside restaurants with bars, day beds, umbrellas, music and towels. A foreign concept for Kiwis, but if you should approach it like a nice dinner out, but with sunshine with frequent swims and comfy naps– it's pretty heavenly and it helps with the homesickness.

Josh Martin is a London-based Kiwi journalist.

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