This past weekend, I incurred the wrath of a being so powerful, so deliciously omnipotent, that he's "known" by one name only. That's right, I was dragged into a holy Twitter war with the one and only FOODGŌD.

Oh, don't recognize that name? Unfamiliar with the almighty? For the 99% of you who have yet to be indoctrinated, I'll provide a brief backstory:

Jonathan Cheban is Kim Kardashian's professional best friend. He has no discernible talent or profession. He spends his days shopping, unwrapping swag, promoting the aforementioned swag, taking pictures of Kim, and of course, eating. Cheban's social media is an addictive study in the minutia of daily life, specifically the leisurely days of a...

Well, that's the problem. He's not a celebrity; he's celebrity adjacent. He's not a businessman; he's a former PR consultant. The guy doesn't have much going for him, so it's no wonder that he's recently taken to calling himself the "foodgōd."

But that's the origin story, the Old Testament if you will. The real story begins with a tweet sent at 10:13 p.m. on September 17th.

As an assignment for a journalism class, I have been tweeting twice daily about reality TV. Though somewhat tedious, this activity hadn't gotten me into any real trouble. That was about to change. For my final tweet of the day, I settled on this article from the popular blog "dlisted." Accompanying the link, I tweeted a simple message: @JonathanCheban needs to be stopped. Finished with my assignment, I put away my computer and settled down to watch a movie with friends. How could I have known that judgement day was upon me?

At 11:50 my phone lit up with a notification from Twitter. My jaw immediately dropped.