Nancy Goins, 32, would’ve probably just been another Florida Woman arrested for burglarizing a house at 2:30 in the morning, but then she started talking to police after being arrested and dropped such great one liners that she’s now going to go viral and cause people on Twitter and Facebook to get all triggered.

The big claim from Nancy is that she’s CIA and that Donald Trump is her handler. It gets better from there.

From Bradenton.com:

Deputies say she told them she “works for the Special Victims Unit of the CIA and that Donald Trump is her handler.” She also claimed that Bill and Hillary Clinton are her parents, as well as the late President John F. Kennedy, who Goins said is still alive, the report states.

If you figured this wasn’t Nancy’s first trouble with the law, you’d be right. Seems like she’s had a rough stretch dealing with the cops. Here’s an arrest from a couple weeks ago. Gotta get yourself cleaned up, Nancy. And here’s one from 2018.