I came across a reddit post today, in which a dad asked how he should play board games with his kid. Should he handicap himself, let the kid win, or beat the kid mercilessly?

I used to be a neurobiologist, and in that field there’s a huge literature relevant to this issue. It provides a powerful, proven answer to the dad’s question. In the name of happy families and my own compulsive board game evangelism, I thought I’d share it:

The magic of Variable Ratio Schedules

Cognitive scientists spend a lot of time training animals to do tasks in exchange for rewards. For example, I used to train rats to detect patterns of gentle whisker-tweaks in exchange for Strawberry Yoohoo (we tried other rewards, but nothing worked as well).

it’s disgusting but rats love it

Neurobiologists have been doing this for more than 100 years, and have tried LOTS of different ways to motivate animals and help them succeed.

And there’s one way of doing it that works better than everything else we’ve tried. So much better it’s now the standard. It’s called a Variable Ratio Schedule.

Let’s say we have an animal (your kid) doing a task (playing a board game), for a reward (winning).

In a Variable Ratio Schedule, the animal gets the reward on only a certain percentage of her attempts, and the interval between rewards is unpredictable.

For example, if I play a board game 10 times, a Variable Ratio Schedule would reward me with a win on say, 5 of those times, but the sequence of wins and losses would be chosen at random. This ensures each reward will feel maximally rewarding, and therefore maximally addictive and motivating.

Important: to make it work, the animal must feel like there’s a high chance of receiving the reward on every attempt. That will keep her motivated and searching hard for a way to get the reward.

In light of the above, here’s a solid Variable Ratio Schedule for playing board games with your kid:

the first time you play a particular game, let the kid win. thereafter, let the kid win some of the time. 60% of the time is good to start (you can dial it down slowly as the kid improves if you want). make the sequence of wins and losses as random as possible. critically, make the outcome as close as you can every time, especially when the kid loses. She should always feel like she barely lost.

If your kid has any native interest in board games, this procedure will ensure it blossoms. I’m putting my money where my mouth is: I’m about to be a dad, and when the time comes, you can bet your boots this will be my approach.

P.S. This works just as well on adults as it does on kids, as long as they don’t realize you’re doing it.

P.P.S. note many games for very young children, like Candy Land, are completely random and therefore have built-in Variable Ratio Schedules. You’d think this is a good thing but often it isn’t. In random games, you, the parent, often can’t control how “close” the outcome feels in each play, and that’s key to making this system work.

P.P.P.S. But the theme of Candy Land is the most compelling theme for young kids I’ve ever come across. Someone needs to invent a Candy Land where the parent can control the outcome more carefully (Wait. I’m a game designer. Maybe I should.)

P.P.P.P.S. Most of us are subjected to Variable Ratio Schedules everyday without knowing it, since many common apps employ them deliberately to addict us. Often in subtle, clever ways that keep us from realizing we’re being “trained”. Also, note slot machines are nothing but Variable Ratio Schedules.

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