I have a terrible memory. Blame the rampant drinking (I’m young!), blame the fact that I’m very rarely listening when people talk to me (I’m self-centered!), or blame the dozens of other variables I’ve clearly long forgotten. And I’ve only ever had minor head injuries (is a thing people say?), none of which resulted in any Molly-Don’t-You-Fall-Asleep/Die-On-Me concussions.

[skip the story – get to making that butter…]

Where does this all leave me? Completely, 100% reliant on my phone. I write notes and then I write notes within those notes and then I write more notes. And when my phone dies, my bizarro food ideas tend to fall by the wayside/in the gutter I’ve narrowly avoided. Such was the case a couple nights ago.

So imagine my gleeful surprise when I woke up the following morning with one single thought on my mind: Maple Roasted Cashew Butter. That’s right, the same motherfucking idea I had the night before. Note-less. With my phone still as dead as Jelly Sandals and slap bracelets, I leapt (I leapt.) from bed and did that thing where people grab pencils and write on paper and ogle their own fantastic handwriting that they haven’t seen in weeks. My handwriting is totally cute.

Maple Roasted Cashew Butter is an idea worth remembering. It’s smooth and rich with the buttery goodness of cashews, made more complex by the roasting. I kept the oil levels low and the maple syrup adds just enough sweetness without this tasting like candy. Although candy butter would be amazing. Hm.

Despite my aforementioned lack of memory, this recent episode kind of makes sense. About 75% of the times that I’m busy not listening to people when they talk (me me me!!), I’m probably thinking about nut betters. Between my fridge and my counter, I have no less than four jars of different peanut butters in varying stages of consumption. I have nut butter priorities.

So yeah, if I’m going to remember any one thing from nights before, it won’t be how many brothers of sisters you may or may not have. It’s probably going nut butter related.

You parents are still alive and/or dead, right? Nailed it.

MAPLE ROASTED CASHEW BUTTER

makes 1 cup = 8 servings @ 2 tablespoons each

ingredients:

2 cups of raw cashews

2 tablespoons maple syrup

¼ teaspoon vanilla extract

1½ teaspoons grape seed or canola or vegetable oil

½ teaspoon salt

Preheat your oven to 350°. Line a baking sheet with tin foil.

In a medium bowl, whisk your syrup and vanilla together with a fork. Add the cashews and toss to coat. Spread a single layer of coated cashews on the prepared baking sheet. Scrape the sides of the bowl with a spatula and drizzle that left over syrup on top of your nuts so none of that maple goodness goes to waste. Bake for 6 minutes. Remove from the oven, toss a bit, and cook for another 7 or so minutes. Allow to cool.

Transfer the roasted nuts to a food processor. Pulse a few times. Then hold the button down continuously for 30 seconds – a minute. Scrape down the sides. Add the salt and ½ teaspoon of the oil. Pulse a few times again. Do the hold-down button thing. Scrape down. Repeat this two more times, using up the rest of the oil. Keep on keeping on til you have a pretty smooth paste.

Try not to eat it straight out of the food processor with a big spoon. There’s no time for that. Use your fingers.

NUTRITION

