So it turns out Alicia Silverstone (teen queen of the 90s, actress who played glorious, clueless heroine Cher in Clueless) is a bit… alternative. She thinks tampons cause infertility, eating plants can cure MS and those ‘vaccine’ thingies are dangerous.

And now, because she is a celebrity and celebrities are automatically ‘experts’ in everything they do, Silverstone has taken her ideas about parenting and turned them into a book with a (short and sweet) title:

The Kind Mama: A Simple Guide to Supercharged Fertility, a Radiant Pregnancy, a Sweeter Birth, and a Healthier, More Beautiful Beginning.

I had an inkling Silverstone was a bit off when she admitted last year that she pre-chews her child’s food and has him eat it from her mouth like a bird (seriously – watch it right here). Back then, I was a bit ‘each to their own’ about it all. Not my thing but whatever. But now she’s peddling a book filled with some scary nonsense and is trying to pass it off as a legitimate medical resource for pregnant women.

Cher Horowitz would not be impressed.

The Kind Mama is filled with lots of words like ‘potentially‘ and ‘anecdotal evidence‘ and ‘possibly‘ and ‘can help prevent‘, which is enough to send most of us running for the hills, but Silverstone’s last book about diet (plant-based of course) was a bestseller, so she clearly has influence over a lot of people. And I don’t mean to be way harsh Tai, but that is scary.

Lizzie Crocker over at The Daily Beast read the book and highlighted the most controversial tips Silverstone offered on how to be a ‘kind mama’:

1. Eating plants can solve every mental and physical health problem anyone has ever suffered, ever.

Forget ‘doctors’ and ‘science’; Silverstone claims that she can pretty much prevent all diseases (including cancer) and if you’ve already got a disease, she can probably cure it.

The secret? Eat only plants, or ‘kind foods’. Silverstone insists that living on a ‘kind’ vegan diet can (emphasis mine) “help prevent or even cure your PMS, insomnia, allergies, breakouts, weight struggles, thyroid condition, lupus, multiple sclerosis — while significantly lowering your risk of heart disease, diabetes and cancer.”

Also, if you eat only plants kind foods while your baby is in your ‘baby house’ (that’s what she calls the uterus), you potentially prevent all possible diseases your kid could ever get.

Wow. Is it just me or does anyone else feel like maybe Silverstone hasn’t been getting enough credit for curing MS?

Oh and also, if you get post-partum depression, it’s probs your fault. ‘Kind Mamas’ don’t really get depressed. So check your diet and if you’re already eating enough plants, you may need to cut out sugar. Including bananas, which are a ‘naughty’ treat.

2. Nappies are an abusive conspiracy designed purely for corporate greed.

According to Silverstone, the diaper industry is a multi-billion dollar hub of lies, totally “fueled by corporate-backed pseudoscience”. (And probably also run by the Illuminati.) Silverstone advocates a nappy-free system, where you just let your kid roam free to shit and piss wherever they may be. But don’t worry – it won’t be messy. If you’re a good mother, you’ll be able to read your kid’s facial cues in time to pick them up and sprint to the toilet. Apparently then you just dangle them over the bowl and let them do their business.