There’s been quite a bit of official tat produced in the name of Lucasarts sprawling space opera, but at least it all passed basic health and safety regulations. These imported fake Star Wars figures and bootleg toys are such crude appropriations of Phantom Menace characters that just looking at them is a trip to uncanny valley.

The Phantom Menace is my favourite Star Wars film… apart from maybe all of the other episodes. 1999 was a different time though, and we were still naïve. People queued up to see the trailer in their hundreds, and boy was that trailer good- complete with blaster fire, Darth Maul’s double-bladed lightsaber, and Jar Jar Binks. What a character.

The film’s release was commemorated with a barrage of merchandise. There was a whole new generation of figures for kids to play with and grown men to collect. However, not all of it was official. Here at Wholesale Clearance we never pass on a product we deem to be below a certain quality threshold. It’s safe to say that these figures do not meet our standards.

So for your entertainment we photographed a selection of bootleg Star Wars toys from our warehouse whose names are almost as mistranslated as their moulds. From the freaky limbs of the Pod Race Droid, to Daft Serious’ vacant stare, these characters are sure to inspire a chuckle, even if the force is not with them.

Next we attempted to recreate some terrible scenes from the terrible film with these terrible figures: