Art? A less and less satisfying substitute for sex.

Blood Banks? Is there any other kind?

Born Again? Once too many.

Civilization? Skin cancer of the biosphere.

Couples? Monogamy is monotony.

Crucifixion? Too little, too late.

Cynicism? Long since surpassed by events.

Elections? Debilocracy in action.

Family? No to Nuclear!

Free time? Work the boss doesn’t pay for.

Full Employment? A threat, not a promise.

Government? Guns don’t kill people, politicians kill people.

Hippies? Short of ideas.

Illness? Very dangerous: the principal cause of doctors.

Judges? Senile despots in clown costumes.

Law? Punishmentless crime.

Lawyers? Insatiable mouths to feed.

Left, the? The last wheel of the coach.

Liberals? Conservatives with a bad conscience.

Libertarianism? All the freedom money can buy.

Life after death? Why wait?

Marxism? Highest stage of capitalism.

Masochism? To like bringing work home.

Mystics? Full of an inexpressible clairvoyance about which they won’t stop talking.

Necrophilia? A social disease.

Nihlist? Going beyond good and evil, they stopped on the way.

Pedagogicide? A victimless crime.

Pleasure? Interludes which accentuate suffering.

Police? Terrorists with good service records.

Politics? As in a pond, scum always rises to the surface.

Preachers? Enough aural sect, more oral sex!

Property? It’s theft — and theft is okay.

Psychotherapy? Crimeless punishment.

Punques? Punks who went to art school.

Recreation? One cannot pay and enjoy oneself at the same time.

Reagan? A step in the reich direction.

Relationships? Being alone together.

Religion? To defy one’s disabilities.

Rights? Wrong.

Social Scene? How to to affirm your difference just like everyone else.

Socialists? Sheep in wolves’ clothing.

Teachers? Outclassed.

Trotskyism? Stalinists without power.

Utopia? A nostalgia for the future.

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