Last night was the White House Correspondents Dinner, the self-congratulatory affair once dubbed “The Nerd Prom”. That glib nickname has been dispatched as the event has fallen on darker times the past few years. The press, unable to come to grips with a Donald Trump Presidency, transformed into a gaggle of over-serious scolds and, as a result, compelled the President to say he had no desire to attend. Last night was his third consecutive absence.

The last two WHCD events featured drastically unfunny “comedians” who flopped in front of a very supportive crowd, leading to fewer amusing sound bites and instead more headlines about the problematic affair. This year organizers decided to scrap having a comedian all together.

Instead, the emcee last night was historian and author Ron Chernow. For the benefit of those unable to attend the benefit CNN’s Chris Cillizza provided some quotes from inside, and he unintentionally delivered more comedy than seen in years from the event. One, in particular, managed to deliver the mirth in truckloads.

“Campaigns against the press do not get your face carved in Mount Rushmore because when you chip away at the free press you chip away at the heart of democracy.” — Ron Chernow #WHCD2019 — Chris Cillizza (@CillizzaCNN) April 28, 2019

Granted, we may cut the journalist a little slack on this, since the quote was from a historian. Cillizza may have felt safe, but this particular line is a gaffe on par with telling us “This is an apple”, when in fact it was a hand grenade.

You haven’t read much about Thomas Jefferson have you? Or teddy Roosevelt. Or Lincoln. https://t.co/z4qCxqaVvp — (((Charlie Martin))) (@chasrmartin) April 28, 2019

Can't believe this dishonest baloney hasn't gotten ratioed pic.twitter.com/u12srsilDK — Ron Coleman (@RonColeman) April 28, 2019

As a result of Chris attempting to build up his industry, he instead was promptly blasted apart with hard facts about the press from those very historical figures carved into a mountain.

"Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle." – Thomas Jefferson, who is on Mt. Rushmore — I'm real (@edkrayewski) April 28, 2019

Okay, maybe one of them said that, but he is not alone up there, right?

“The man who did nothing else (but be a muckraker [investigative journalist]) was certain to become a force of evil.” – Teddy Roosevelt, also on Mt. Rushmore — I'm real (@edkrayewski) April 28, 2019

"No president ever cracked down on the press more than Abraham Lincoln did," Harold Holzer, author of "Lincoln and the Power of the Press," winner of the 2015 Gilder Lehrman Lincoln Prize for the finest scholarly work on the Civil War or Abraham Lincoln, who is on Mt. Rushmore — I'm real (@edkrayewski) April 28, 2019

And these are not random quotes out of context. There is a wealth of evidence these esteemed historical figures did their fair share of “chipping”.

Only 2 presidents in history have succeeded in censoring the press. One of them is on mt Rushmore. — Kevin Cerrito (@photoartist9) April 28, 2019

"I deplore… the putrid state into which our newspapers have passed and the malignity, the vulgarity, and mendacious spirit of those who write for them… These ordures are rapidly depraving the public taste and lessening its relish for sound food.”

– Jefferson — ıllıllı ??????? ıllıllı (@slatermaus) April 28, 2019

Chernow himself seems curiously narrow in his Presidential gaze, as well. Many other Presidents with looming stature also had their problems with the press complex.

But the way, Chernow's hero, Grant… Regarded journalists as spies. Even his book says so.https://t.co/edfXrX5U1B — Pradheep J. Shanker (@Neoavatara) April 28, 2019

"In the 1936 election, Roosevelt claimed that 85 percent of the newspapers were against him." — Pradheep J. Shanker (@Neoavatara) April 28, 2019

Woodrow Wilson wrote a letter openly advocating for legislation to censor the press in the interest of “safety.”https://t.co/3EZH1nyQG5 https://t.co/w7n0F67ZIS — Jay Caruso (@JayCaruso) April 28, 2019

As well as Obama~ — JC Allen (@jc6594) April 28, 2019

You mean the one who regularly battled those in the media who questioned his policies, and was found to have wire-tapped reporters who were critical? THAT President?!

Of course, Cillizza is not too interested in self-reflection. Blaming one man for the troubles in the press is WAY easier.

Hot Tip, Chris: Your 'free press' died years ago. It was a suicide. pic.twitter.com/AlfbF1ugfQ — pete602 (@petefrt) April 28, 2019

Seriously we know you’re an ignorant but pretty news reader, but Chernow is supposed to be a historian. — (((Charlie Martin))) (@chasrmartin) April 28, 2019

Considering the source of this, one thing that is likely to take place — Chris Cillizza may one day have his face wallpapered in the children’s nursery at The Newseum.