What's the right thing to say when a "dieting" friend tries to stop me from eating in front of her because it makes her uncomfortable. She isn't really on a diet. She mainly eats whatever she wants to eat but-- she makes sure I don't eat anymore than she is eating. if we were to be eating ice cream together and I decide to eat more, she would try to stop me anyway she can. I guess I can put up with eating ones scope less of ice cream but you see the problem here right?

Asked by

nopennorpaper-blog

To me, the important thing about remaining friends with people who have food issues is boundaries. I suppose you can tell her that her behavior when you eat out together is making you uncomfortable, and suggest that maybe when you go out you choose an activity that doesn’t involve food, or else each agree not to comment whatsoever on what the other person eats and simply enjoy each other’s company.

Basically, it’s not unheard of for people to have food issues, whatever they might be, and that what you’re eating might trigger those issues. But sympathy for someone’s issues doesn’t mean you need to/should change your behavior because of them (that is entirely up to you). I don’t think requiring boundaries to be set in this case makes you a bad friend. It just means that you’re respecting your own wishes and desires, and always being your own best friend, first.

-ATL