RUSSELL BRAND: Funny, isn’t it, how the privately educated mainstream media never talk about missing pens. When I was poor, they said I was just jealous of rich people’s pens. Now that I’ve got money and can afford to buy my own pens, they say I’m a hypocrite for pointing out that other people haven’t got pens. I’m starting to think they just don’t want to talk about pens. Now, I wonder why that could be? Obviously Nigel here – who by the way just happens to be sponsored by JP Morgan, Amazon, the NRA and Robert Maxwell – is all like, “Yeah, I care about ordinary working-class pens, I want poor people to have pens, I’m just an ordinary geezer like you who’s looking for a pen.” But did you know his daddy was actually this like billionaire stockbroker who owned dozens of pens, and made sure the apple of his eye here never went to his fancy posh private school without at least one pen in his blazer pocket? You didn’t? Funny, that. I guess that’s just one more thing the privately educated mainstream media don’t want to talk about.