One of the few pleasures this season regarding the Browns, at least for me, has been the joy of getting to add two heads to my Browns QB hydra, RG3 and Cody Kessler. For those who don’t know what I mean, I keep a photoshop file on handy of every Browns QB who has started a game since 1999. Not every QB who has played, just every named starter, which is honestly bad enough. It’s my own version of the Browns jersey in Cleveland which was retired this past season thanks to Basketball making the owner feel optimistic. That has proven rather hilarious. I was excited when the Browns picked up Clipboard Jesus (Charlie Whitehurst) because with him and Terrelle Pryor getting time at QB I thought I was going to have a record year for hydra additions. Sadly it was not to be, Clipboard Jesus lasted two weeks.

He’s gone because he got hurt. He got hurt after being put in the game for Cody Kessler, who got hurt. Cody looks to be okay now, so Clippy Jeez wasn’t worth keeping if he was injured. The Browns QB carousel this season has really been something else, hasn’t it? They start with RG3, already a highly questionable move, but one that might bear fruit, and he immediately dies. They stick in Josh McCown, which at two years now feels like a seasoned Browns QB veteran. He immediately dies. We get Cody Kessler, some dude from USC, and he lasts a game, and then kinda dies. Charlie Whitehurst, who wasn’t close to sniffing a roster to begin the season, was suddenly the backup, and then suddenly actually playing. On top of that, the Browns have occasionally thrown Pryor in there to do things, but they probably want him to stay at WR since he’s doing well there. I hope they let him start a game. In the meantime, I might need to get a picture on file of Kevin Hogan, practice squad QB, elevated to the roster thanks to Chipboard Jesus’ departure. Something tells me him or Pryor is going on that Hydra before this year is out.

I also wonder just how much Hue Jackson regrets his choice of team yet. They all start with the promises, and they all end up in the toilet really fast. The Browns front office is like a faulting nuclear reactor, with coaches occasionally sacrificing themselves to run in and expose themselves to a fatal dose in an attempt to stop the leak. At this point the reactor core is just full of bodies.

Anyway here is the current hydra picture



Can you name them all?