Just before one of the greatest chases in ODI cricket was about to get underway, there was a power failure in the Bellerive Oval. As a result, Ravi Shastri, along with a few other folks, was stuck in an elevator for about an hour. So what did Shastri do or say during that anxious period of play?

Fortunately for cricket buffs, Lawrie Colliver, a cricket statistician with Fox Sports, who had the honor and privilege of being cloistered with Shastri during those fateful minutes, took short hand notes of the great man’s utterances and actions to get his team out of the hole they had stuck themselves into, and was kind enough to share them with The Unreal Times:

(Just as Shastri enters the lift)

Lawrie: Too lazy to take the stairs, eh, Raavi?

Ravi: I’m fond of taking the aerial route, Lawrie! Which floor are you heading to?

Lawrie: The fourth.

Ravi (presses the 4 button): Alright then, I start off with a boundary! (presses ‘4’ again) Consecutive boundaries! (presses ‘4’ again) We’re dealing in boundaries at the moment (presses the ‘6’ now) Now I go big! It’s in the air, going, going, gone! (presses ‘6’ again) And again! This one is in the stands! (presses 4 and 6 indiscriminately and in rapid succession, as a shell-shocked Lawrie watches in utter disbelief) This bowler is being taken to the cleaners!

(Suddenly, sparks fly from the button panel, and a loud grating noise is heard overhead, forcing Lawrie and the others to cover their ears and duck reflexively)

Ravi (completely unperturbed): The atmosphere in the elevator is electric, and the noise is deafening. We should be in for a cracker, Lawrie!

(The elevator comes to a grinding halt, and the lights go off, plunging the elevator into darkness)

(All the occupants look at each other, except for Shastri who stares straight ahead)

Lawrie (worried): Oh dear God! What’s happened to the elevator!

Ravi (in his trademark tone): Just get the feeling Lawrie, that something’s gone down the elevator’s wire

Lawrie (now very worried): Oh! Now what do we do?!?

Ravi: Not to worry, Lawrelie. I’m a cool customer, with loads of experience.

(Shastri puts on his shades, adjusts his tie, stands on his toes, reaches for the roof of the lift and nonchalantly pushes out a square panel)

Lawrie: What are you trying to do, Raavi?

Ravi: I know where exactly the boundary is, Lawrie. I have a few tricks up my sleeve! I am gonna give myself some room, find the gap, pick my spot and go the distance!

Lawrie (*facepalm*) : Are you sure, Raavi? Have you done this before?

Ravi: Oh, we do this all the time in India, Lawrie. Speaking of India, do you like Indian curry, Lawrie?

Lawrie: For the love of God …

(Lawrie slaps his forehead and curses himself under his breath for asking)

Ravi (puts his arm through the hole in the roof and gropes around in the dark and then suddenly raises his voice): He goes big! It’s in the air! Will he go all the way? No! He’s mistimed it! Ravi comes under it! and IT IS TAKEN!

(Ravi steps back in, holding something that feels like a piece of cloth. Ravi peers at it in the dark)

Ravi (shouting): IT’S A TIE!!! IT’S A TIE!!! (brings it before Lawrie’s eyes)

Lawrie (loses his cool and yells): Good heavens, Raavi! Stop showing me a discarded tie which someone threw down the elevator shaft!

Ravi (a little defensively): If I’ve got to flash, Lawrie, I will flash hard!!

Lawrie: Dear God, I just can’t take it anymore.

(Lawrie slumps in a corner with an utterly resigned look on his face)

(There is silence in the elevator for about a minute, after which Shastri does the first sensible thing all day. He presses the alarm button)

Ravi (speaking into a microphone on the panel): Ladies and Gentlemen, the news from the center is that Lawrie and I are stuck in an elevator and we need help! We hope to see some live action shortly!

(Lawrie looks up, a semblance of hope returning to his eyes)

Lawrie: Do you think we’ll be able to get out safe, Raavi?

Ravi: At this stage, all 4 results are possible, Lawrie.

(Lawrie groans and faints)

(After about ten minutes, most of it spent in relative silence except for a solitary comment from Shastri on ‘when the powerplay would be taken’, the alarm speaker rings out)

Speaker: Hi guys, this is Mark from the elevator rescue team. We just want to let you know that we will be rescuing you in a few minutes. At this time, we request you to stay calm and not panic. Thank you for your co-operation.

(Lawrie stirs back to consciousness)

Ravi: Mark, you’re just what the doctor ordered!

Mark: Err… yeah… whatever!

Lawrie (mutters weakly): Thank you God. We are saved!

Ravi: Just another thing, Mark!

Mark: Yes, sir?

Ravi: What is the mood like, in the rescue team? What was going through your mind as you rushed to come to our rescue?

(Lawrie utters a shrill scream, leaps to his feet and in a moment of utter insanity, attempts to climb the sides of the elevator using his fingernails, leaving deep scratch marks on the walls of the elevator. Fortunately, within a couple of minutes, the door of the elevator opens, and paramedics step in and carry the harried statistician on a stretcher.)

(Shastri steps out of the elevator, adjusts his shades and stands straight facing his rescuers.)

Ravi: Ladies and Gentlemen, we’ve had a fabulous 55 minutes in the elevator, over 300 words were exchanged as two truly competitive guys went hard at each other, without giving as much as an inch, and it can only be said that in the end, the friendship between Lawrie and me is the real winner!”

(Reported by Special Correspondent Ashwin S. Kumar)