6/13/12 4:19AM

A note for aspiring writers out there: when using trees as sexual metaphors, ‘root’ though weird is WAY dirtier than ‘roots’.

My hand is, indeed, broken and torn, but the opportunity to spout off nonsense to willing internet peoples is worth the suffering. Plus, if I don’t Will’s not going to do it. Lazy bastard’s too busy watching basketball or masturbating constantly or twiddling his thumbs or something to go back to two comics a week. He did, however, produce that first panel up there; some of us best artistic work ever, so he’s off the hook today.

I’ve penned some bad lyrics in my day, occasionally even intentionally. Despite knowing that like a maze rat, cheese was my goal, I cringed through the whole process. I hope they exude insincere as they’re meant to. Fans will melt at the prospect of romantic sincerity even if all evidence/tabloids/common sense screams otherwise. Why not give ‘em the straight dope? It’d probably work anyway.

-Jesse