Today, I feel the need to write about plus size dating from my point of view. I’ve been fortunate enough to date and not have people question my weight or tell me that I need to lose weight (at least not to my face). In fact, I haven’t heard anyone blatantly call me fat since I was a teenager. If someone did, I would honestly laugh in their face because I’m sure it takes a lot of strategic thinking to call a plus size person fat (sarcasm). Needless to say, I still find it amazing when plus size women attempt diets because they think it will help them get a partner quicker, or they would somehow be deemed more attractive. There are women who truly believe they can’t find a man because they’re fat. Sorry, but I refuse to believe that!

Luckily, I don’t have body image issues. I will wear what I want when I want. What you see is what you get. This year, I’ve heard countless tales of woe from friends whodated someone who constantly said something about their weight or when things didn’t work out they attributed the breakup to their weight. They often feel as though their partner will leave them for the first skinny woman who comes their way, and they have to work extra hard to keep their partner interested.

In my opinion, these are all myths and problems that result from self-esteem issues. Take a look around, there are plenty and I do mean plenty of attractive women of all body types who are single. Plus size women are not the only women who have to deal with jerks and heartbreak. Heartbreak is universal, and it does not discriminate. Unfortunately, we live in a world where people can pick up on insecurities and use it to their advantage. Once again, being taking advantage of is universal, it does not discriminate. There are obvious jerks all around us.

I don’t want people to read this and think that I’m against dieting. I’m not; if dieting makes you feel a sense of accomplishment and make you feel better about yourself then I say go for it. As a friend of mine would say, “do the damn thang”. We should always do what makes us happy and not what makes other people happy. We should not change who we are so that someone else can feel comfortable. How you see yourself is a direct reflection of how others see you. The way you see yourself reflects in all aspects of your life which includes your dating life. It is best to remember that if someone constantly talks your flaws; it’s because they’re flawed themselves. Putting other people down is a coping mechanism to feel better about themselves and their self esteem issues. Nobody regardless of their size should have to deal with that shit.

Have you ever been put down by a partner and if so how did you deal with it?

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