The ageless wonder that is Bartolo Colon is currently pushing through his 20th major league season with his 10th team as a veteran innings-eater for the Twins, but despite the fact that he's only been with Minnesota for a scant couple of months (totaling 10 starts and 61 2/3 innings), that won't stop the club from letting fans celebrate the man, myth and legend that is Big Sexy.

(I'll note here that, keeping in line with Bartolo's ... let's say "imposing" physique, the best joke here would've been to make all the shirts XXL.)

If you've got the time and the money, then next Friday against Toronto, you can score yourself a Twins "Big Sexy" shirt and watch the 44-year-old Colon pitch against the Blue Jays with a special promotional ticket linked above. And while that unfortunately won't include a trip to the plate for one of the game's more energetic hitters (stupid DH rule), you will get to watch him mesmerize hitters half his age with an array of 90-mph fastballs as he tries to keep Minnesota alive in the AL wild-card hunt.

Anyway, Colon's pitching well again after looking all but finished after a disastrous first few months with the Braves and then being picked off the scrapheap. If you're not doing anything the night of Sept. 15 and you're in the Twin Cities, do yourself a favor and go watch one of baseball's true originals. You'll be glad you did.