The Gulf was last night preparing itself for a torrent of ‘Islam Is Peaceful’ articles following the murder of 12 people at the French satirical magazine, Charlie Hebdo.

“We can expect almost every publication in the region to be clogged up with ‘Islam is Peaceful’ opinion pieces in the wake of the massacre,” said Middle East expert Bella Cockpit. “These are expected to last for at least the next two weeks. The public cannot say it hasn’t been warned.”

Sources suggested that every regional broadsheet will point out in leader columns that “The Prophet (PBUH) was a man of peace”, “These people don’t represent us” and “I have many Muslim friends and none of them are extremists.”

“Pointing out the painfully obvious is expected to continue well into next month,” said Gulf media analyst Prof. Tim Meyer. “After all, The Prophet was a man of peace, and these people don’t represent the average Muslim and I have many Muslim friends and none of them are extremists,” he explained.

Meanwhile, several publications have warned that their stockpiles of ‘Islam Is A Religion Of Peace’ articles were running dangerously low.

“With five scheduled each day for the next week, our supplies almost depleted. We need at least another 20 pieces pointing out that Islam is a religion of peace and that these people don’t’ represent the average Muslim to see us through,” said The Daily Gulf’s regional editor, Sam Saltan. “The thing we all need to realise is that all of us here in the Middle East have Muslim friends and none of them are extremists,” he noted.

Meanwhile, The Abu Dhabi Examiner has vowed to employ an extra 100 female Muslim columnists to produce ‘Islam Is Peaceful’ articles for the next month.

“As a Muslim, while I don’t agree with this French magazine I am not for violence,” wrote Saleh Al Suweidi in her tenth column written last night. “The Prophet was a man of peace. I am a Muslim and I have many Muslim friends and none of us are extremists,” she noted.