That seems to be the common perception: that people who are on public assistance abuse the system, do not have jobs and use these programs as a lifestyle. For example, while speaking in Philadelphia last week President Trump said: “We want to get our people off of welfare and back to work. So important. It’s out of control. It’s out of control.”

A statement like Trump’s is a generalization, a stereotype. Most of us are employed; however, many on welfare are struggling to earn a living wage. And we need some extra help. Single mothers like myself make up over 80 percent of the 12 million single-parent households in our country, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. In my county, Broome, N.Y., 45 percent of those households live in poverty and rely on public assistance.

AD

AD

Another myth is on immigration: Trump’s administration is reportedly considering ending public assistance to immigrants or deporting those who rely on taxpayer support. This is based on another generalization: that immigrants, legal and illegal, are existing with help from welfare. However, the Southern Poverty Law Center points out that undocumented immigrants can receive schooling and emergency medical care, but not welfare or food stamps.

It’s important to also note that immigrants who are documented are held to the same standards as U.S. citizens, and are expected to work while receiving aid. Here’s how these programs have helped me and my family: Food stamps (the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program), Medicaid and tuition assistance programs have allowed me to feed my children, get them access to health care and have allowed me to raise them to be educated.

While at the grocery store, I must also confess to buying the occasional frozen pizza, chicken tenders and fries with those food stamps. Okay, maybe more than “occasional.”

AD

AD

Allow me to explain. I’m a night-shift worker. I’m on third shift so that I can chauffeur my kids to and from school and to their after-school jobs; take them to doctors’ and therapy appointments. I can be there if someone is sick, without worrying about missing work.

Working the night shift also means that I must find a few hours for sleep during the day, often leaving meals up to my kids. So yeah, that frozen pizza is something of a necessity. But look at my cart a bit closer as you judge. I promise I’ll have something healthy included.

Way back eight years ago, I decided to leave a bad marriage, for my own welfare and that of my six children. Yes, I have six children. No, I don’t have six baby daddies. I have two failed marriages. It was necessary for me to raise them on my own, and I have chosen to stay on my own. I’m not chancing another disaster for my children to endure.

AD

AD

Whether or not you support welfare, I thank you. These resources have allowed me to supervise my children, they’ve prevented me from getting into another bad relationship and they’ve allowed me to be present in my children’s lives. These programs have helped me raise successful, productive members of society.

I’ve been able to live on one job, using public assistance to supplement. I’ve been able to prevent the teenage pregnancy, school dropouts and criminal troubles that are a very real part of single-parent households, especially low-income ones where parents are often absent because they’re working several jobs. CoAbode, a resource for single moms, reports that 45 percent of single mothers are working more than one job. Instead of working extra jobs, I’ve been able to put my focus on my kids, their education and their health.

While I am still confronted by the anxiety and depression that plague children of poverty, I am available to help them cope with those issues. The National Center for Children in Poverty reports that “Low income children, youth, and their families are disproportionately affected by mental health challenges, impairing the ability of children and youth to succeed in school and placing them at risk of involvement with child welfare and juvenile justice agencies.”

AD

AD

I am the mom I am because of public assistance. I am able to be there for one of my girls, while she is battling her anxiety and depression, to oversee her health issues as she sometimes struggles for her life. I am able to continue to help her as she learns to help herself.

Of equal importance, I’ve been able to avoid continuing the cycle of poverty.

Here’s how my children have turned out: My oldest is now a computer consultant, despite learning disabilities, for a start-up firm in Texas, where he earns a living wage.

My second-oldest is a nursing student, which will guarantee job stability and access to a living wage. She also has a job.

My third is starting college next fall, after graduating high school with a multitude of honors and AP courses on her transcripts. She also has a job.

AD

My younger three are in middle school and high school, and the words “honor roll” show up on report cards.

AD

I am giving back to my area by volunteering with the local United Way in its efforts to combat poverty. I believe that we have to educate parents on how to educate their children. Because children on welfare are growing up to be parents on welfare.

These parents are finding themselves involved in unhealthy relationships, even enduring domestic violence, just to have another paycheck to help them scramble out of their hole. The most recent Community Health Assessment from my area describes “an increase in the number of children with difficult behaviors and families who are under stress,” and estimate that 32 to 35 percent of families are experiencing domestic violence in homes. This must be stopped.

AD

Right now, taxpayers not getting much choice as to whether they help or not. Our government decides that. The choice lies in how Americans view that help. How they judge those whom they are helping.

AD

Maybe we can start a conversation and begin to dispel the negative perceptions of those on welfare, whether they’re single mothers who were born in this country or immigrants starting new lives here. I’m also hoping that eventually our president will come to understand the power of his words and how he is negatively influencing public opinion, quite often without the facts to back up his statements.