Footage of two moose fighting on a suburban street in Alaska has resurfaced with a new, hilariously NSFW voiceover.

In the video, the moose are duking it out on a street while onlookers—who are way too close to the tussle—whip their phones out to record the surreal scene.

It’s not uncommon to see moose in residential areas, especially in locations such as Alaska, Canada, and Maine, where the animals live in large populations. If you do encounter a moose, stay as far away as possible.

You’ve probably seen the video of two moose fighting on a quiet street in the Alaskan suburbs. While National Geographic originally posted the clip in 2015, it went viral again over the weekend thanks to this hilarious overdub—"Ma, call the f***ing cops, or the ASPCA!"—that some on Twitter are attributing to foul-mouthed actor Michael Rapaport:



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“This is some fuckin National Geographic shit”😭😂 pic.twitter.com/dhVObeWRhz — Kye💕🦄 (@GxldSociety) December 8, 2019

The footage is riveting, but also kind of terrifying, especially when you see how close some spectators came to the battling moose. So what exactly went down, and what should you do if you ever encounter raging moose in the wild—or, say, your driveway? Here, several moose and wildlife experts reveal all.



"Get Out of the Way"

That's what Lee Kantar suggests you do if you find yourself near fighting moose. Kantar, a moose biologist with the Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife (MDIFW), tells Popular Mechanics that "although the [moose in the video] are solely focused on each other, creating a safe distance from them and some sort of protective barrier would be well advised."

Kris Hundertmark, emeritus associate professor of wildlife biology and conservation at the University of Alaska Fairbanks, echoes the sentiment.



"Don't get too close," he tells Popular Mechanics. "And make sure there is something between you and the moose. Even if it's a small tree."

Moose aren't the fastest animals, but they can still hoof it up to 35 miles per hour; by comparison, Usain Bolt tops out just under 28 mph. The animals can also trot for long distances, so you'll tire out well before they do—if you happen to get a head start. (Good luck.)

Plus, moose can kick each of their four legs nearly 360 degrees, with their back legs being the strongest. So if you're within range of a kick, you're likely facing a debilitating injury, if not a fatal one.

And why would a moose charge at you? If a female thinks you're threatening her calves, you're in serious trouble, says Hundertmark. Males are more mellow, he says, but you still don't want to chance it. Stay away and let the animals settle their own score.

Same goes for calling for help. In the viral video, the voice suggests calling the authorities, but Hundertmark says that's a bad idea. Animal control won't come to the scene unless a moose is wreaking havoc on a city's downtown, he says. If you do ring them up, they'll just tell you to leave the beasts alone.

What Are the Chances of Seeing a Moose?

Pretty good if you live in a place where moose are plentiful, like Alaska, where this video was shot. The Last Frontier has one of the largest moose populations in the world; if you're a local, you've likely seen at least one in the wild.

In 2016, Anchorage Daily News captured footage of a moose who had recently given birth and was nursing her calf in a shopping plaza parking lot.

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In North America, moose also live in almost all of Canada and several pockets of the U.S. including northeastern states like Maine and New Hampshire. In that area of the country, Kantar says, moose—especially young ones—will occasionally wander into populated towns and have difficulty finding their way out. This could be due to a couple of things, including disorientation or their naturally poor eyesight.

How Does a Moose Win a Fight?

In most cases, moose don't slip around like the ones in the viral video. That's because there aren't any paved roads for this to happen. Moose fighting each other in the wild will use their antlers as their primary weapon, pushing each other until one realizes the other is stronger. The weaker moose will disengage and retreat—if it can.

Moose murder isn't common, but it does happen, especially if one moose gores another during a fight. Moose can also die from infection after a fight, but that's pretty unusual, since the skin around a moose's neck and shoulders is thick to protect from puncture wounds.



On the rarest of occasions, moose will actually break their antlers during a tussle, but it's more common to find the remains of two moose that engaged in a fight, became interlocked at the antlers, and died as a result of not being able to separate.

And What About Man vs. Moose?

Some Popular Mechanics editors, upon seeing the video, wondered if they could hold their own against a moose. How many rounds could you go with a moose if you trained really, really hard?



"The odds of surviving the fight are null," Hundertmark says. (Womp womp.) "If a moose wants to hurt you, you're getting hurt. Mature moose are especially incredibly powerful. You can't get lulled into a sense that these are domesticated animals. You will not make it out," he adds.

So: zero rounds.

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