Part of Mika's job is to assign other employees their new EGO equipment, and give them info on the Abnormalities they are to deal with. Also Parker exists.

Chapter Text

"I have gathered you here today," Mika began, "So I can pass on what I was given by the department heads to you."

Sitting at the table in front of Mika were two figures. There was Gregory, a tall man who was in charge of the lower half of the Command Center. To Mika, Gregory was the ideal listener. He didn't crack jokes, he knew what it was like to be in charge, and even when he was bored, he tried to look interested, just as he did then. He sat upright, and kept his gaze on Mika. But every Yin had its Yang. Sitting just besides Gregory was the bane of Mika's existence, the most uncooperative employee at the Corporation.

Parker leaned back in her chair, not even looking at Mika, instead making a point of staring at her nails. Not that she actually cared about her nails - Mika wasn't even sure she showered, much less actively take care of things like her nails and her long brown hair. Rather, she seemed to look at her nails to make a point - that she had better things to do. Every once and a while, she'd yawn, or stretch, or stare at the ceiling and count the tiles. And after every second sentence Mika uttered, she would, without fail, make a sarcastic comment. And the worst part was, she somehow managed to drag Gregory into her pit with her - he'd laugh, even if he'd try to hide it.

If Mika could have fired her, he would have. But she was the only person on staff that could work with the Funeral Of The Butterflies. Unfortunately, she was a necessary cog in the machine.

"In the first half of this meeting," Mika continued, keeping a wary eye on Parker, "I will assign you all your new EGO equipment." Before he could speak further, Parker did the inevitable.

"You know there's only two of us, right?" There it was. A snarky comment. And just as expected, Gregory giggled, but tried to hide it by coughing.

Parker leaned her chair closer to Gregory. "He might be losing it - I don't think he can count anymore." Gregory almost broke then and there, barely holding in his laughter. Mika sighed.

"IN THE SECOND HALF," Mika continued, this time speaking far louder to pull their attention back to him. "I will be giving Gregory new info on the Abnormality he will be working with. Is this all understood?"

Gregory nodded. "Yes."

Parker, as a result of being Parker, looked around the room with a confused look. "Seriously, he knows there's only two of us, right?" Mika sighed once more, choosing to ignore the comment. Instead, he put his attention towards bringing two large suitcases out from under the table. One at a time, he put them in front of Gregory and Parker, each one barely making a sound as he placed them onto the table.

"These," Mika began, "are your EGO suits. You do not need to change now, but you will be expected to have changed by the start of your next shift." He gave a slight smile. "Now please, let's open them."

Gregory took the initiative, and he flipped the latch on top of his suitcase. After another moment, the case was open, and Gregory was peaking inside. Parker had started the same process, liesurely flipping it open. However, it was not Parker that Mika watched. Gregory's first expression was of surprise. Then, confusion. He looked towards Parker, who had just pulled out a purple and black EGO suit that was just her size, then back towards his own case.

"Okay, you got me Mika. Funny joke. Now where's my suit?" Mika gave a slight chuckle.

"It's in your case. Right there, in front of you."

Gregory spent another moment looking inside the case before turning his eyes back towards Mika. "No, that can't be right. You checked these first, right?"

"Yes Gregory. That is your EGO suit."

Parker's curiosity seemed to have been earned by this. She put down her own suit and leaned towards Gregory, peering into his suitcase. She stared into it for a solid five seconds before bursting into laughter - laughter that Mika could only barely avoid joining in.

Gregory gave a long sigh and rubbed his temples. "Mika," he began slowly, almost desperately. "Why is it pink?"

"I don't make the suits," Mika replied, a smile still resting on his lips. A more serious expression reached his face. "However, do not be fooled. That is the best EGO suit we have at the moment. You'll be able to shrug off a cannonball if you're wearing that."

Gregory stared at the suit again before turning towards Parker. "Can we trade?" She laughed again, this time louder.

"Hey, I would, but..." She shrugged. "Let's be real. I can't pull off that shade of pink."

More silence, before he gave he a pleading look. "But I can?"

She nodded, with a little smirk on her lips. "I believe in you."

Gregory simply stared at the suit for another moment. "Okay. Guess that's my life now." With one last laugh, Parker turned back to her own suit, giving it a final look over. Wait... Mika stared at her with interest. She wasn't looking at the suit, she was looking at the booklet in the case.

"Okay, hold the phone," she began. Mika prepared himself to hear a dumb joke or unnecessary comment. "It says here that this suit..." She squinted at the booklet. "Yeah. It says that it 'May make the wearer susceptible to mental effects from White class attacks.' I deal with the Funeral practically every day, and I know that one has White class attacks." She turned her gaze up from the booklet towards Mika. "So what gives?"

Mika was dumbfounded. His eyes were widened by disbelief, and his mouth was opened wide. He simply stared at her for a long, silent moment.

"Uh..." Parker looked around awkwardly. "Hello? Earth to Mika? Helloooooooo?"

"You... you listened?"

"Eh?"

Mika shook his head and readjusted his glasses, then pointed straight at her. "You... you listened! All this time, you... I... I just assumed you were tuning me out!" Mika threw his arms into the air, thoroughly dumbfounded. Parker laughed, then turned towards Gregory to see a similar look on his face. And that was when Parker started to look offended.

"What?" she snapped irritably, folding her arms across her chest. "Did you two seriously think I just never listened to a word you said?" Mika nodded, very slowly.

"Well," Gregory started, "I didn't think you ignored us, but I certainly didn't expect you to remember technical details." She huffed in annoyance.

"How the hell did you two think I surivived this long?"

Mika gave a sigh and scratched his head, the initial shock passing. "Luck, I suppose." Silence passed for a long moment.

"Ouch." Parker said. "Just... ouch." Gregory, of course, laughed.

Mika took a long sigh, and pulled out some of his notes. "Well, I suppose I can offer some explanation. While your current EGO suit does give higher resistance to White Class, this newer one will protect your from Black Class instead. Additionally, they have simply decided that you are good enough at dealing with the Funeral that you shouldn't need the higher White Class resistance."

Parker raised an eyebrow. For once, she seemed serious. "What the hell do they think I'll be dealing with that takes that much Black resistance?"

He shook his head. "I don't know." Parker seemed willing to drop this, though he heard her mutter something to herself.

"So..." Gregory began, "May I ask what the fuck this new Abnormality is if it really requires me to wear this pink thing?" Parker laughed again, but Mika pulled a document out of his suit pocket and pushed it across the table.

"I got this from the workplace files," he said proudly. "It should tell you what you need to know."

Gregory looked at the document in silence for a moment. Parker stood up to leave, and Mika was just about ready to call the meeting to an end - but Gregory spoke first.

"Hey Mika, you sure this is the document?"

Parker turned back towards the group with curiosity in her eyes, and Mika fixed Gregory with a stare. "Reasonably so. Why?"

"Well, it's mostly just a blank page."

Mika's eyes widened in surprise, and he quickly walked over to see for himself. He hadn't read the file beforehand - it wasn't for him. But when he looked over its page, he could see what Gregory meant. It was almost entirely blank. The name of the abnormality was blacked out, as well as its description. No history was written down, no log of previous encounters. The only thing that wasn't blotted out was one paragraph, which Mika adjusted his glasses before reading.

'This Abnormality is known for its extremely high mental corruption rate. As such, no audio or written descriptions of [CENSORED] will be tolerated. Any and all audio or written logs involving [CENSORED] will have all descriptors deleted. No work involving this Abnormality, or details pertaining to this Abnormality, are to ever be given to an employee with under level 5 clearance.'

Silence passed over the room as they examined the document. Gregory folded his arms over his chest, and Mika simply adjusted his glasses one more time, just to make sure he was reading it right. Parker, however, gave a sigh and put her hands on her hips.

"Well that's unusual," she said confidently. Mika gave her a pointed look.

"Are you even... allowed to see this document?" She put her hand over her mouth in mock surprise.

"Oh no... what have I done! Think of all the foundation secrets I could release with the knowledge I've seen here..." Mika glared at her, but heard stifled laughter come from Gregory.

"Mika..." she gave him serious look, and spoke in a grave tone. "You might have to kill me now." This comment proved to be too much for Gregory, who finally burst out laughing, which in turn caused Parker to break and start laughing. Mika was not prone to outbursts - he was above such reactions. However, he did turn towards Gregory and gave him a frustrated look.

"I thought you didn't like dark jokes." He pointedly ignored Parker, who was turning blue from laughter at her own sarcasm. Gregory shrugged as he stood up.

"That's not dark humor. It's sarcasm. Gold standard sarcasm at that." Gregory sighed and picked up the document. "Thanks for getting this for me though. I mean, doesn't seem like it'll do me much good, but thanks anyway." Finally, Mika cracked a smile.

"Anytime." He took off his glasses and began cleaning them, leaning against a wall as he did so. "This meeting is now adjourned. Do be off now, you two. I have more work to get to." Parker stretched and gave a relieved sigh, as if she'd just been through the hardest task in the world.

"Finally, I can get to my own business." Mika sighed.

"Comics," he corrected. "You're going to get to your comics." She cracked a grin in respone.

"Precisely."