Geek Life Lessons: Thor & your Partner

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Can I be brutally honest with you for a moment?

There may come a time in your life when you have to talk your non-geek partner into watching a geek movie with you. It’s a ritual in my life that I’ve handled poorly time and time again.

My latest blunder was monumental, so I thought I’d document it so that you may learn from my mistakes.

It’s brutal. It’s ugly. It may make you laugh or just pity me (or both).

Let’s go see Captain America: Civil War

A couple of weeks back, I went to the cinema to watch Captain America: Civil War with my Wife.

Whilst trying to talk her into to coming to watch the movie, I mentioned that The Avengers were going to be in it. That was all I needed to say. She agreed immediately and, confused and highly suspicious, I drove us to the cinema.

Along the way, she queried more about exactly which Avengers would be in the movie.

I told her, “All of them.” Until it dawned on me. “Uh, except the Hulk and Thor.”

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Cocknose

She looked at me with hate in her eyes. It was similar to the time I accidentally broke her hair straighteners in a bizarre grilled cheese sandwich accident.

“WHAT?” She screamed. Startled, I nearly veered the car off the road.

“What is it?” I asked frantically. “What’s up????”

“This is bullshit!!!!” She screamed.

“What?” I asked. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Thor isn’t in it?” She said. “He’s the best one and he’s not in it???”

“The best one???”

“Yes the best one. The most handsome one. Whatever.” She let the words hang in the air for a while. “He’s not in it???”

I gulped. I had forgotten just how obsessed with Chris Hemsworth she was. She’d first watched him – and drooled – in the Australian soap opera Home & Away.

“No,” I said. Then, I had a decision to make. Do I make the situation worse? Or just keep quiet. I’m a man – what do you think I did? “Is that a problem?”

“You know it is you–you–you–” I knew she wanted to drop the c-bomb, but even this angry her lady-like sensibilities prevented her from doing so. Instead she said, “Cocknose!”

Now at this point, I have a tip for you. DO NOT LAUGH. Not matter what hilarious name or curse word she yells.

I made the mistake. I allowed a chuckle, but quickly stopped myself. I wasn’t nearly fast enough.

“You think this is funny?” She asked, glaring at me.

I shook my head. “No.” Then, after a minute of silence. “Are we still going to see the movie?”

I flinched, expecting raised voices or extreme violence, but calmly she said, “Yes.” The implied threat remained silent, until she bluntly enforced it moments later. “But you’ll pay for this.”

Revenge

Her first act of revenge was making me buy her virtually everything from the concession stand. Okay, okay. That’s a lie. She made me buy her sweets and a Blood Orange Tango Ice Blast, but in my defense at cinema prices it certainly felt like I was buying the entire concession stand.

She also says she’s going to make me go watch the new Ghostbusters reboot (would you call it a reboot? Or just a continuation?), solely to drool over Hemsworth. The fact that she loves Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig also adds to my misery. To be fair, I love them too, I’m just not looking forward to Ghostbusters and she damn well knows it.

Turns out she does listen to my geek tirades.

I might pretend to like it, just to annoy her.

What do you think?

Let me know via Twitter or Facebook

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