I’ve pretty much accepted that I’m going to die of heart disease, but if you’re one of the many still holding out in the hopes you’ll get your shit together and are looking to add more exercise to your day then take note of these techniques:

• drop things constantly- picking stuff up is a great way to stay active.

• start fights with strangers- boxing is an excellent workout, as is running from your opponent or the police.

• set fires where ever you go- nothing gives you more motivation to move your ass than the threat of burning to death.

Sure, there’s a small chance you’ll end up in prison following this advise, but have you seen any convicts lately? They’re jacked as hell! You win either way!