Posted on April 10, 2009 in Articles

Michelle Bachmann, once an obscure Republican Representative from the 6th district in Minnesota, has turned into the de facto leader of out-of-power conservatives. Semi-attractive, unabashedly ignorant, and utterly impervious to the forces of rationality or reality, she is Sarah Palin with a tinfoil hat and a Botox syringe. Let’s go over some of the things she believes in:

1) She believes there is a global conspiracy among the Russian and Chinese (with Barack Obama and the liberal communist Democrats as a co-conspirator, of course!). On Glenn Beck last week:

BACHMANN: Let me tell you, there’s something that’s happening this week in Congress that could be the eventual unraveling for our freedom, and it’s this. I had asked the Treasury Secretary and Ben Bernanke, the Federal Reserve Chair, if they would categorically denounce– BECK: I know. BACHMANN: –taking the United States off of the dollar and putting us on an international global currency. Because as you know, Russia, China, Brazil, India, South Africa, many national have lined up now and called for an international currency, a One World currency. And they want to get off the dollar as the reserve currency.

2) That the Edward M. Kennedy Serve America Act, which would expand national community service programs from 75,000 positions to 250,000, will lead to re-education camps where youth will have to praise their great and omnipotent leader, Barack Obama. Yes, really:

“I believe that there is a very strong chance that we will see that young people will be put into mandatory service… And the real concerns is that there are provisions for what I would call re-education camps for young people, where young people have to go and get trained in a philosophy that the government puts forward and then they have to go to work in some of these politically-correct forums.”

3. The US Congress is filled with anti-American liberals who need to be investigated by the mainstream media (aka McCarthyism against Democrats):

MR. MATTHEWS: How many Congress people, members of Congress, do you think are in that anti-American crowd you described? How many Congress people do you serve with? I mean, it’s 435 members of Congress. REP. BACHMANN: Right now — MR. MATTHEWS: How many are anti-American in the Congress right now that you serve with? REP. BACHMANN: You’d have to ask them, Chris. I’m focusing on Barack Obama and the people that he’s been associating with. And I’m very worried about — MR. MATTHEWS: But do you suspect that a lot of people you serve with — REP. BACHMANN: — their anti-American nature. MR. MATTHEWS: Well, he’s a United States senator from Illinois. He’s one of the people you suspect as being anti-American. How many people in the Congress of the United States do you think are anti- American? You’ve already suspected Barack Obama. Is he alone, or are there others? How many do you suspect of your colleagues as being anti-American? REP. BACHMANN: What I would say — what I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look. I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America? I think people would love to see an expose like that.

4) That the United States is adopting economic policies to join a centralized, state-planned economy with education policy embracing a ‘socialist, globalist worldview’. Seriously, in an article she co-authored.

Government is implementing policies that will lead to poverty, not prosperity, by adopting the failed ideas of a state-planned and managed economy similar to that of the former Soviet Union. In economics, career, and education, government narrows individual choice. This system is based upon a utilitarian worldview that measures human value only in terms of productive capability for the “best interests of the state”. Individual freedom is subservient to a collective society. The federal government has set in motion a restructuring of our schools, our workforce and our economy to create a new system called School-to-work or STW. Minnesota and all other states are

incorporating a central planning system to implement STW. STW places the needs of business above the needs or wants of the child.

5) That homosexuals suffer from sexual dysfunction (but it’s ok, you have to LOVE them through it):

“If you’re involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it’s bondage. It is personal bondage, personal despair and personal enslavement.” “Don’t misunderstand. I am not here bashing people who are homosexuals, who are lesbians, who are bisexual, who are transgender. We need to have profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders.”

Michelle Bachmann has become the Congressional embodiment of the Rush Limbaugh movement in the Republican Party. Unable to cope with the parties loses or the disdain for the neoconservative movement, they have turned their crusade into a witch-hunt. You see, it’s not the past 8 years of George Bush, the years of fiscal irresponsibility on Republican watch, or the hate-filled language and bigotry that have turned people off from the conservative platform… it’s the homosexual liberal communist globalist anti-American Democratic conspiracy. And that, my friends, is why we won’t see any Republicans in power for the next 8 years…

See Also: GOP Psycho Talk — ‘-isms’ and Bachmann’s ‘Re-Education Camps’, Republicans Lie & Lie & Lie!, Civilianism’s Report on Bachmann and Horner’s Faux Forum, Climate Propaganda from the Right, This is not tyranny — you just lost an election, Glenn Beck and The Consequences of Crazy Talk, Stuck In Self-Destruct Mode, Derangement Syndromes, The militia movement, Barone Defines ‘Normal’, Crazy As A Loon, Why Obama Derangement Syndrome Has Stopped Being Funny, Bachmann’s Latest Lunatic Ravings, and Okay, Seriously.

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