It may be no more than an urban myth, but astute political scholars are convinced that Michael Fallon’s surname is a contraction.

Early in his career, the theory goes, he decided that the 20-barrelled surname he inherited would hurt him if he was ever in position to run for the Conservative leadership.

You can understand why. Michael Calls-On-Him-To-Grow-A-Pair-And-Stop-Being-Such-A-Wretched-Little-Sycophant-Always-Fall-On-Deaf-Ears would undermine the man of the people credentials posh Tories fake when running for the top job.

In 1990, for example, Douglas Hurd insisted that, while it may have been technically correct that he attended Eton College, it was, in fact, only as an impoverished lad on a scholarship. Which pretty much made him Stanley Holloway’s dustman in My Fair Lady. For similar reasons, our hero is believed to have ditched 18 of those names, and removed the hyphen between the surviving two, to rebrand himself as plain old (Michael Cathel) Fallon.

The sadness, with hindsight, is that nominative determinism proved far too powerful a tractor beam on his future to be broken by deed poll. Even at Westminster, a festering pond infested by parasitic organisms that slide up the penis of power and settle in the host’s colon in the quest for promotion, he became the Crawler Supreme.

Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Show all 13 1 /13 Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Esther McVey Britain's Work and Pensions Secretary Esther McVey arrives to attend the weekly meeting of the cabinet at 10 Downing Street in London. - Britain's Work and Pensions Secretary Esther McVey resigned from the cabinet over draft Brexit deal AFP/Getty Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Handout image taken from the Twitter feed of @EstherMcVey1 of the resignation letter addressed to Prime Minister Theresa May from Works and Pensions Secretary Esther McVey. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Issue date: Thursday November 15, 2018. Ms McVey has resigned, saying the Brexit deal âdoes not honour the result of the referendumâ. See PA story POLITICS Brexit. Photo credit should read: @DominicRaab/PA Wire NOTE TO EDITORS: This handout photo may only be used in for editorial reporting purposes for the contemporaneous illustration of events, things or the people in the image or facts mentioned in the caption. Reuse of the picture may require further permission from the copyright holder. PA Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Dominic Raab British Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab give a press conference at the end of the final round of talks in Brexit negotiations at the European Commission in Brussels, Belgium EPA Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Handout image taken from the Twitter feed of @DominicRaab of the resignation letter addressed to Prime Minister Theresa May from Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Issue date: Thursday November 15, 2018. Mr Raab has resigned, saying he âcannot in good conscience support the terms proposed for our deal with the EUâ. See PA story POLITICS Brexit. Photo credit should read: @DominicRaab/PA Wire NOTE TO EDITORS: This handout photo may only be used in for editorial reporting purposes for the contemporaneous illustration of events, things or the people in the image or facts mentioned in the caption. Reuse of the picture may require further permission from the copyright holder. PA Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Rehman Chrishti Vice Chairman of the Conservative Party Rehman Chrishti tendered his resignation letter this afternoon PA Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Anne-Marie Trevelyan Parliamentary private secretary in the Department of Education Anne-Marie Trevelyan resigned stating that she cannot support the deal Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Handout image taken from the Twitter feed of @annietrev of the resignation letter addressed to Prime Minister Theresa May from Anne-Marie Trevelyan, a parliamentary private secretary in the Department for Education. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Issue date: Thursday November 15, 2018. Ms Trevelyan has resigned saying she cannot support the Brexit deal after negotiations âbuilt on the UK trying to appease the EUâ. See PA story POLITICS Brexit. Photo credit should read: @annietrev/PA Wire NOTE TO EDITORS: This handout photo may only be used in for editorial reporting purposes for the contemporaneous illustration of events, things or the people in the image or facts mentioned in the caption. Reuse of the picture may require further permission from the copyright holder. PA Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Sam Gyimah Universities minister Sam Gyimah resigned on November 30, claiming the government's decision to pull out of the EU's Galileo satellite navigation system as a deciding factor PA Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Shailesh Vara Shailesh Vara who has quit as Minister of State for Northern Ireland, saying he cannot support Theresa May's Brexit agreement, which he said "leaves the UK in a halfway house with no time limit on when we will finally be a sovereign nation" PA Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Suella Braverman Brexit minister Suella Braverman has resigned, stating “It is not what the British people, or my constituents, voted for in 2016.” Cabinet ministers resign over Brexit deal Ranil Jayawardena Parliamentary private secretary to the ministry of justice Ranil Jayawardena resigned as he could not back the deal "in good conscience"

His status as greasers’ greaser, sonorously defending his host’s every scandal and fiasco when no one else would or could, saw him slither into the Cabinet with the defence portfolio for which he was so uncannily suited.

After a little light groping restored him to the backbenches, he was as unflinching supporter of Theresa May as he had been of David Cameron, and will be of anyone who might hire him in the future. To Mickey, the ritual idiotic blathering of fealty is more than a career choice. It qualifies, borrowing from the prime minister herself, as every fibre of his being.

So when this particular worm turns, no wonder it’s hailed as the most savage blow yet to May’s survival fantasies.

Donald Trump’s casual remark that her Brexit deal would stop the US from trading with the UK isn’t helpful either. But Trump – in case you’ve missed this – has a habit of saying crazy stuff, especially when encouraged to do so by Boris Johnson or whichever no dealer (probably not Nigel Farage; you doubt the Prez takes his calls these days) distilled those 585 pages into a one line soundbite.

And Trump, if this has also passed you by, is not defined by fierce loyalty to natural allies; Fallon, as I may have implied, is known for nothing else (other than the indelicacies that got him fired).

If a midnight TV bulletin showed footage of a senior Tory forcing a Marlboro Light into the mouth of a beagle – not in deranged homage to outmoded medical research, but unmistakably for post-coital relaxation – he’d be on Today at 6.11am the next morning telling Humpo the long-eared hound was a shape-shifting alien who demanded a smoke after appearing as Helen of Troy. And that even then, this blameless minister, who on no account should resign, resisted until she force fed him an entire steak and rohypnol pudding.

Leading chronologists based in Zurich once identified the shortest measurable distance of time as the interval between hearing the words, “And now on Radio 4, here’s Libby Purves with Midweek” and instinctively reaching for the off switch. Those same quantum scientists also posited that its diametric opposite – a period fractionally longer than infinity – is the wait for Michael to disagree publicly with a Conservative leader.

They’ll be feeling daft after yesterday, when Fallon gravely told Mr Speaker that May’s Brexit deal (I paraphrase for brevity) was too steaming and capacious a pile of s**t for even him to hold his nose and vote. Interviewed later, he couldn’t quite bring himself to say she should go. But nor could he say that she shouldn’t, and by his standards that qualified as a scimitar strike to her already rupturing aorta.

Support free-thinking journalism and attend Independent events

You might analyse this as yet another panel, albeit more cryptic than most, on the ancient Fallow tapestry; that sensing the imminence of the present leader’s demise, he was ingratiating himself with whoever the next might be in pursuit of a cabinet recall.

But this is not a moment for the cynics and sneerers. This is a moment to revel in the most sensational confirmation yet (forget Leicester City) that truly we live in the age of miracles.

It is also the moment to rejoice that Theresa May has her consolation. She might have conflated delusional intransigence with Churchillian doughtiness. She might be a rival to David Cameron himself in the reckless self-indulgence, with which she has promoted her party’s short term interests over her country’s future. But all prime ministers leave office with something juicy and indelible on the credit side of the ledger. Tony Blair has his Good Friday Agreement; Gordon Brown has his salvation of the global economy; John Major has his brilliantly negotiated opt-outs from the Maastricht Trea... yup, I see that now. Ah, well. Every rule must have its proving exception.

Now Theresa has her own galactic achievement. It took her more than two years.