Screenshot: Netflix

Look, we’re big fans of Riverdale, the CW’s dark, sexy reinvention of the Archie universe, but all that murder, skin, and intrigue left little room for the series’ true star: a hot, juicy beef patty with all the fixin’s. That’s Jughead Jones’ favorite food, yet it took until the season finale to see our crowned friend tear into one. If you haven’t already, you’ll be able to see it for yourself when the series shows up on Netflix this Thursday, but the streaming service thought it wise to tide you over with this little appetizer.

That’s actor Cole Sprouse not just eating a burger, but making love to the damn thing. Dude’s kissing, nuzzling, and sniffing this burger—the sesame seed bun is a nice touch—in between winks and closeups of his mouth chowing that beef back into the pink slime from which it came. Kudos also to that obscene soundtrack.


Riverdale creator Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa has teased “civil war” for the next season. That sounds cool and all, but the writers might want to use this fresh start to start serving up a different kind of beef.

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