Former Interpol bassist Carlos Dengler has penned an essay for n+1 about the band’s seminal album Turn on the Bright Lights, which celebrated its 15th anniversary this year. In it, he reflects on the album’s creation and his “behavioral idiosyncrasies from that time: the rationing of condoms, and [his] all-starch diet.” He also writes, “Though I was one of its composers, I now feel more like a confused participant, or a survivor of PTSD.” Dengler continues, “I’ve lived to tell the story of a plane crash that almost took place, and I’m still figuring out how I managed to pass the flight exam and get into that cabin in the first place.” Read the full essay here.

Tonight, Interpol perform Turn on the Bright Lights in full in New York City. In his essay, Dengler says, “Neither the band nor their label has reached out to me for any official Turn on the Bright Lights-related business, which is surprising.” Previously, Paul Banks said, “There has not been any discussion,” regarding Dengler joining the tour. “I really think Carlos is doing his own thing now.”

Read Pitchfork’s feature “Cap the Old Times: The Story of Interpol's Turn on the Bright Lights.”