Peter Berlin spent the 1970s and 80s lighting up the night as a gay icon. Often barechested and always in skintight jeans that highlighted a “talent” of epic proportions, Berlin would stalk the streets of Paris, New York and San Francisco looking for sex. Or was he? For Berlin, cruising was performance art.

Born Armin Hagen Freiherr von Hoyningen-Huene in 1942, the Berlin-raised star was made infamous by two 70s porn films, and his image drew the attention of A-list artists. Robert Mapplethorpe and Andy Warhol took his picture. Tom of Finland drew his portrait. Berlin was also a professional photographer and took thousands of self-portraits – decades before the advent of the “selfie”. Then he largely disappeared until the 2005 documentary That Man: Peter Berlin introduced a new generation to the Greta Garbo of gay porn. This week he is back in the public eye with an exhibition of his self-portraits at Magnet in San Francisco. The Guardian caught up with the elusive art star at his home in the city.

Good morning, Peter. It’s not too early for you?

Oh no. I’m up early these days. At 7-7.30am. I don’t have a life any more. The days of staying up, going out all night, are over. In a way it’s nice to have an experience of morning. I used to see the mornings only because I was still up. When I was dressed up and so visible, it felt so strange. All these people going to work. When I saw them I’d think: “Peter, you better go home.” I miss that life, but I’m not driven to go out. I enjoy this kind of ordinary life.

When did you start being “Peter Berlin”?

Very early on I started to alter my pants. Say 13. I always felt what you could buy in the store was not what I liked. I remember I took my shorts in for when we had sports in school. It was erotic to me. The tight feeling. Not only the feel but the look. It developed from there.

Peter Berlin. Photograph: Magnet

And how did people react?

My mother was horrified. She had this reaction of being genuinely disgusted. It offended many people. That experience of being Peter Berlin in public was exciting but because I dealt with all these negative reactions it never felt really good and pleasurable. The negative reactions came not only from straight people but from gay people. When you are so provocative people feel they have a right to say anything.

But you must have enjoyed how you looked? I read that you once caught sight of some beautiful stranger while you were in Paris only to realise it was your reflection is a shop window.

That was the best compliment I ever got in my life. Unfortunately, I gave it to myself. I was walking, I looked up and thought: “Oh my God. Who is that?” It was me. People think I must be so stuck up, it’s nothing like that. It’s just that I liked what I saw. I would have preferred that it had been someone else. I would have loved to have an experience with that person.

Do you think that drove your cruising, were you looking for yourself?

I have wondered what it would be like to just have Peter Berlins on this planet. I think I’d prefer that. It sounds very selfish. Very rarely have people made me stop the way I made people stop. If I was on a planet where everybody looked like me, I think I’d like that – but maybe it would be a mistake.

Peter Berlin. Photograph: Magnet

Do you like being called an icon?

I’ve been called lots of things. The invitation for my exhibition says “Photographer. Porn star. Gay icon.” Eric [Smith] who curated this wrote that. Yes, photographer, I’ve pushed the button on a camera, so fine. Gay? Yes. Icon? I don’t know what that means. Porn star? That’ll be on my tombstone. Not that I’ll have a tombstone. I’m going to give my parts to science.

Your images are very striking. Especially the ones where there are two of you in the picture. How did they come about?

The double exposure? I used a Hasselblad [a medium format camera] and it has this square format. I like to photograph myself from head to toe and when I did, I felt there was so much space around me, what a waste. In those days I didn’t go out so I wasn’t going to go and make a nice landscape or street scene. I was too shy to do it. I was in my room. Then I realised I could create one person on one side and again on the other.

There are some good images where I am interacting with myself. Two people doing something with each other. The only thing, and it didn’t bother me at all, is that I couldn’t intermingle. I had to make a distinction. In my sexuality I already realised I didn’t need the touch necessarily. The embrace. I don’t need to embrace or be embraced. But the reaction of two people engaging with a space in between was a way of telling a story.

Peter Berlin. Photograph: Magnet

So you like to maintain some distance?

My sexuality was basically that I enjoyed the foreplay. Laying my eyes on someone. Realising the other person is engaging with me. Then that whole game of pursuing and teasing. I could do that for hours, days. You are in that state of excitement forever. Looking back it’s an art form because most people are going for the climax. When I climax, it’s done. At least for awhile.

These days, selfies are so huge that everyone’s doing them, from presidents to teenagers. What do you make of selfie culture?

It’s natural for young people to turn the camera on themselves. Not just to make a portrait for your mother but to make sexual displays for your girlfriend or boyfriend. People say “Don’t do it, don’t do it. It’ll be there forever.” Well that’s very true, right! You won’t be able to be president of the United States. But that thing which is now done millions of times, I did 50 years ago. It just wasn’t as easy.

Selfies just shows you how natural and normal it is. Society looks down on it, it’s made bad and twisted. It’s unfortunate because it’s beautiful. That’s true for young girls especially. They put lipstick, makeup on, they show their tits and then they get labelled. Attitudes to youth and sex in this society are so far off from what comes naturally to me and a lot of other people.

Peter Berlin. Photograph: Magnet

Do you think attitudes towards sex have changed?

Things change, sure. How much? I see it as very small. There are some improvements. I remember when Mapplethorpe had to have two exhibitions, one with flowers and one with the S&M images he really wanted to show. My image is similar to what Tom of Finland did with his pen. Now I’m glad that Tom of Finland is being touched by museums. But there is still that division there. Attitudes to sexuality are still in their infancy, there’s still so much stupidity.

What about attitudes to homosexuality in particular?

If I was Peter Berlin now and I walked the streets, I would still get the same reaction. You’re a hero today if you’re an athlete and you come out of the closet. I came out immediately. I never was in the closet. But what I then had was all these doors shutting and that translates into money. I still know people in my life who have been in the closet for 30 years for the same reasons.

So what do you make of gay marriage?

I would rather it had gone the other way and we had made straight marriage against the law. In other words, nobody can get married. If you want some person in your life, to have children, why can’t you have that without marriage? Once you get married you invite the lawyers in. I’ve seen it around me. It’s painful. The trouble created. There are probably three couples where it works out fine, everybody else they say: “Oh you have to work on it.” It shouldn’t be work. Nothing in life should be work. Even your work shouldn’t be work. It should be pleasure then make that pleasure work for you. I think we are on the wrong path.

Peter Berlin. Photograph: Magnet

What was it like putting the show together, looking back at all these pictures?

I had to look at them to select stuff. I’m trying to get my archive together. I’m not in the habit of looking at my images. When I do, it’s like I’m looking at someone else. Like you, when you look at yourself as a baby. Looking back I like the way I look. Some people spend a lot of time on their image. Some people spend a lot of time on their career, maybe they want to be an accountant. I didn’t want that. It was never about money.

Do you regret that?

Sometimes I feel like a failure. Why? With all that fame and adulation, I don’t want a billion, but half a billion? I’d like to have half a billion. I’d be better with the money than the people who have the money.

Andy Warhol offered me his people. He said: “People should see what you are doing.” I never took him up on it. It’s just who I am. I don’t pick up the phone and call. I’m still here. I have established a certain aura, I don’t know, because of those images.

Do you have other plans for the exhibition?



We are talking about it coming to New York. I’m not really driven. I don’t want to establish myself. But I thought: “Ah Peter, it’s better than feeding your cats.”

PETER BERLIN PHOTOGRAPHER / PORN STAR / GAY ICON is on view from 1 to 31 October at Magnet, 4122 18th St (at Castro St) in San Francisco, California