In an effort to curb spending and streamline its operations, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced today that it has cancelled a number of its programs, including Talking Smack, Raw, and WrestleMania.

“This is what’s best for business,” said COO Hunter Hearst Helmsley, moments before spewing a geyser of water all over himself.

The sports-entertainment company will save millions of dollars annually by cutting its most expensive productions, such as talking smack, and its lesser-known, poorly rated programming such as WrestleMania.

The company also announced that, as part of its cost-cutting measures, the number of annual pay-per-view events will be reduced from the current 534 to a lean 291.

To offset the reduction in revenue streams, the company will stay profitable by increasing the monthly subscription fee for the WWE Network to $79.99.