Your Jokes | More reader monologue material (use the comment link below):

If God had meant man to fly he would have given him fins. — Marc Ragovin, New York

President Bush gave his farewell address last week. Let’s hope he doesn’t give a forwarding address.

In Virginia, a 71-year-old man fell from a flagpole while replacing a cable and was dangling 75 feet above ground for 20 minutes until rescued. It’s the first time in history that a senior citizen has used the phrase, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get down.” — Doug Austen

Barack Obama’s ego is getting a little bit inflated. The other day he renamed his inauguration dinner the First Supper. — Bill Williams

It was quite a weekend in Washington, D.C. Republicans are scarcer than US Airways executives at a fundraiser for the Audubon Society. — Janice Hough, Palo Alto, Calif.

I suggest this Bush memoir title: “The Compete Idiot’s Guide to the Presidency.” — bluewater

Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres is pitching her line of holistic pet care products on QVC. She was originally going to do it on the Discovery Channel, but they wanted her to dance with a bear. — Paul Seaburn, Spring, Texas

So Citigroup is selling Smith Barney to Morgan Stanley, breaking up its “financial supermarket.” Insiders said it was either “Clean up on aisle 6!” or “Clear out in Chapter 11!” — Robt Stupple

Bad enough that cops and airline pilots are kids; President Obama is the first President I’m older than. Where’s Eisenhower when you need him? — Michael Feldman