In the beginning Sloth created the heaven and the earth. Shit was dark. Like real dark. Also it was nothing but water. So Sloth put the Sun in the sky. That Sun made light and Sloth saw that it was good. It felt warm on his skin.

So Sloth calculated divine arithmetic and divided the light from the darkness. Sloth called the light “Day”, and the darkness “Scary”. It didn’t stick though so he ended up just calling it “Night”. That was the First day.

Sloth then said, “Let there be sky.” Sloth called it “Heaven” and calculated more divine arithmetic and divided the waters from the waters. The answer was one. And it was so. That was the Second day.

And Sloth said, "Let there be Pangaea.“ And so became the super-continent. Sloth called this "Earth”. Sloth saw that it was good. And Sloth became hungry and said, “Let there be plants, yo.” And there were plants, yo. It was good. That was the Third day.

Then Sloth said, “All this arithmetic is wearing me out. Let the Sun divide the day from the night and let there be time.” Sloth made the Sun rule the day and also created the Moon to rule the Night. Sloth also made the stars. Thus there was time and space. The answer was one. Sloth saw that it was good. That was the Fourth Day.

Then Sloth made all the sea and sky aminals. Sloth saw that it was good and told them to figure out the math and make some babies. That was the Fifth day.

Then Sloth made the land aminals including the humans. And Sloth made the Sloths in His own image. Sloth blessed them and also told them to figure out the math and to rule over all other species. And Sloth said, “Behold, go eat some of those delicious plants I made on the Third day.” And it was so. The answer was one. And Sloth saw everything that he had made and it was good. That was the Sixth day.

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