Is Betty White's burgeoning sex scandal too strange to be true, or too out-of-the-blue to be untrue? Miley Cyrus says she's not "slutty." Perez Hilton says his Miley Cyrus upskirt wasn't kid porn. Wednesday's gossip roundup is open to interpretation.

"Insiders" tell a minor gossip blog that four pictures of Betty White getting railed by late husband and television house Allen Ludden are circulating the sex photo buyers' market. (Would any tabloid sink so low? News of the World, maybe.) The images were supposedly "found" in an abandoned box at Betty's old house. It's farfetched, ridiculous, and too easy—but then, people really like posing for sex pictures, including old people from bygone eras, so there is a microscopic kernel of possibility, I guess. If you're into that sort of thing. [ShowBizSpy, ZackTaylor, image via Splash]

getting railed by late husband and television house are circulating the sex photo buyers' market. (Would any tabloid sink so low? News of the World, maybe.) The images were supposedly "found" in an abandoned box at Betty's old house. It's farfetched, ridiculous, and too easy—but then, people really like posing for sex pictures, including old people from bygone eras, so there is a microscopic kernel of possibility, I guess. If you're into that sort of thing. [ShowBizSpy, ZackTaylor, image via Splash] Perez Hilton responded to his Miley Cyrus upskirt child porn imbroglio by appearing on his blog half-naked to point out (like we did) that Miley had panties on at the photoshoot whence his upskirt photo came. But everyone who saw the upskirt said they saw vagina in it, which means Perez is de facto admitting to tweeting a photoshopped vagina picture (since he concedes Miley never took her panties off) or that he posted a clothed vagina picture that somehow resembled a naked one. Either way, it could still be child porn, and waiting to see what the L.A. District Attorney does will be the most excruciatingly thrilling night-before-Christmas on the internet. The real question is how popular culture came to revolve around gay men debating whether a series of fuzzy pixels are or aren't a vagina, on the internet. [PerezHilton]

responded to his upskirt child porn imbroglio by appearing on his blog half-naked to point out (like we did) that Miley had panties on at the photoshoot whence his upskirt photo came. But everyone who saw the upskirt said they saw vagina in it, which means Perez is de facto admitting to tweeting a photoshopped vagina picture (since he concedes Miley never took her panties off) or that he posted a clothed vagina picture that somehow resembled a naked one. Either way, it could still be child porn, and waiting to see what the L.A. District Attorney does will be the most excruciatingly thrilling night-before-Christmas on the internet. The real question is how popular culture came to revolve around gay men debating whether a series of fuzzy pixels are or aren't a vagina, on the internet. [PerezHilton] Oh, and Miley Cyrus gave an interview and said "I'm not trying to be slutty," she's just "more comfortable dressing with a little less." Duly noted. [AP]

gave an interview and said "I'm not trying to be slutty," she's just "more comfortable dressing with a little less." Duly noted. [AP] The four Jersey Shore cast members whose names you always forget ( Sammi, Ronnie, Vinny , and Angelina ) are at risk of getting fired. Survival of the shameless: Anything less than Snooki must go. [TMZ]

, and ) are at risk of getting fired. Survival of the shameless: Anything less than Snooki must go. [TMZ] After costarring with Mickey Rourke in Passion Play Megan Fox tattooed a tribute to him on her ribs. It says "Those who danced were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." Painfully wordy. [ContactMusic]

in Passion Play tattooed a tribute to him on her ribs. It says "Those who danced were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." Painfully wordy. [ContactMusic] Tiger Woods mistress vs. Tiger Woods mistress: After filming her Tiger Woods porno, Joslyn James filed a police report accusing co-star and rival Tiger mistress Devon James of stealing "cash, jewelry, and a cell phone." Comeuppance for stealing Elin's man? [TMZ]

mistress vs. Tiger Woods mistress: After filming her Tiger Woods porno, filed a police report accusing co-star and rival Tiger mistress of stealing "cash, jewelry, and a cell phone." Comeuppance for stealing Elin's man? [TMZ] Charlie Sheen and estranged wife Brooke Mueller finally worked out their child support agreement, to be used if (when?) they divorce. Unlike Brooke's cheap prenup, the child support agreement demands the same payments Sheen ex-wife Denise Richards' kids get: $55,000 a month. [TMZ]

and estranged wife finally worked out their child support agreement, to be used if (when?) they divorce. Unlike Brooke's cheap prenup, the child support agreement demands the same payments Sheen ex-wife Denise Richards' kids get: $55,000 a month. [TMZ] Working out the legal deal apparently took a toll: Brooke is back in prehab, dealing with "stress that [has] the potential for challenging her sobriety." [TMZ]

is back in prehab, dealing with "stress that [has] the potential for challenging her sobriety." [TMZ] Speaking of squabbling exes: The late Gary Coleman 's ex-wife Shannon Price is fighting with Gary's ex-girlfriend Anna Gray over his remains, but Shannon already sold the deathbed pics, which is the "quack quack seat back" of dead celebrity husbands, so Anna will probably lose. [People]

's ex-wife is fighting with Gary's ex-girlfriend over his remains, but Shannon already sold the deathbed pics, which is the "quack quack seat back" of dead celebrity husbands, so Anna will probably lose. [People] A newly skeletal Tori Spelling says she didn't mean to get so thin: It's "swine flu, stomach pain, migraines, and nerve problems," Us reports. [Us]

says she didn't mean to get so thin: It's "swine flu, stomach pain, migraines, and nerve problems," Us reports. [Us] After winning a Tony and "still in her glittering Elie Saab dress," Scarlett Johansson sang karaoke at a Midtown bar. Her song choice: Billy Joel's "New York State of Mind," Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah," Kenny Rogers' "Lucille." [P6]

sang karaoke at a Midtown bar. Her song choice: Billy Joel's "New York State of Mind," Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah," Kenny Rogers' "Lucille." [P6] Tiffani Thiessen and husband Brady Smith had a baby girl last night. Harper is 8 lbs., 3 oz. and "doing great." [People]