dance floor

(MLive file photo)

WHITEHALL, MI - Here's a disorderly person story to file under the heading "You can't make these things up."

The true story, as told by Whitehall Police Chief Roger Squiers, goes like this:

Police respond to a disturbance at Pub One-Eleven, a nightspot on Colby Street, a little after 1 a.m. Saturday morning. There, the manager informs officers that a 24-year-old man had taken off his shirt and a sports bra while on the dance floor. He was asked to leave.

When the bar patron was escorted to the parking lot, the manager told police, the subject pulled down his pants and started doing pushups. He also, according to the manager, started licking the ground.

That was about the time that police were called.

The investigating officer, trying to be nice, offers to give the guy a ride to where he's staying. The man's listed address is in Indianapolis.

Other than indicating he's heading to nearby Montague, the suspect won't give an address. Rather, he tells officers "You know who I am. You figure out where I'm staying."

And so, that night he stays at the Muskegon County Jail, after being arrested for disorderly conduct.

Lynn Moore is a reporter for MLive Muskegon Chronicle. Email her at lmoore8@mlive.com and follow her on Twitter and Facebook.