Ann Coulter is fed up. This time it’s about soccer.

“I’ve held off on writing about soccer for a decade — or about the length of the average soccer game — so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay,” Coulter wrote in her most recent column.

This is not an Onion article.

The conservative commentator’s first point is that, soccer, as a team sport like none other does not showcase individual achievement as much as real American sports. Aside from the apparent fact she hasn’t really ever watched a soccer match, this appears to be classic red-baiting.

Coulter adds, “Liberal moms like soccer because it’s a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level.” Okay, now, this is getting serious.

But this isn’t the real problem with soccer, according to Coutler. The real, insidious, un-American reason soccer is undermining America as we know it is because brown people like it: “If more “Americans” are watching soccer today, it’s only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy’s 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.”

Excuse me, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.