Washington D.C.—

Earlier this afternoon, Donald Trump asked White House lawyer Richard Ligowitz what prison was like, but Mr. Trump was quick to add that he was only asking for a friend.

“I was taken aback by the president’s question at first,” said Ligowitz, who is currently defending the President against allegations of treason via Russian collusion in the last election, as well as alleged emoluments clause abuses. “But President Trump assured me that he was not asking for himself, but, rather, for a certain undisclosed friend of his. This was a big relief for me, and the President again assured me that he is of course totally innocent of all alleged crimes he has been accused of.”

(Photo courtesy of Michael Vadon.)

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