Only the final descent of the Trump assassination squads to the supreme self-humiliation of the Michael Cohen-Stormy Daniels nothingburger could drag me from my sublime writing holiday to inflict myself on whatever readers there may be in August. Amid the hydrogen bomb of decrials of moral turpitude and perceived high crimes, there is no one else audible who sees the Cohen rollover as the supreme victory for the president that it is.

The Mueller investigation that started out with such a trumpet-blast of portentous Wagnerian prophecy of impending revelations of treason, has fallen to the asininity of getting a sleazy lawyer who has pleaded guilty to a smorgasbord of criminal frauds to declare that candidate Trump told him to pay hush money to a woman he had allegedly had a sexual encounter with 10 years before the election, and that this was an illegal campaign contribution and attempt corruptly to influence the outcome of the presidential election.

There had never been any hint of impropriety by Trump in the matter—no coercion, no payment on the night, and the best that could be done for titillation was when Stormy, a generally engaging and peppy businesswoman, though she found nothing exceptionable in the future president’s conduct, or in “his junk,” claimed to have lightly spanked him with a copy of Time that had his picture on the cover. As S&M goes, this is pretty thin gruel.

Succumbing to the Madness

It has come to this. Robert Mueller, former director of the FBI, before it became the dirty tricks division of the Democratic National Committee, could have exonerated a lot of people who were defamed with imputations of treason in “colluding” with Russia. He could have had some members of his investigative team who were not rabid Democrats. He could have investigated all the Democratic Party’s skullduggery with Russia, starting with the infamous Steele dossier, the false FISA warrants, the lies under oath to Congress and the FBI. He could have adopted the view that he should find out if crimes were committed, and if not, to say so, as normal prosecutors do. But he just kept spiraling down like a deep-diving sewer rat. He succumbed terminally to the Archibald Cox-Lawrence Walsh-Ken Starr madness that his duty was to destroy the chief target, no matter what level of professional degradation he reached trying to do so, the facts be damned.

There is no believable evidence that Trump authorized an illegal payment. Cohen is just the latest example of the utter corruption of the plea bargain system: a light sentence for possibly real offenses in exchange for extorted, false, supposedly inculpatory evidence that Mueller can serve to the demented Adam Schiff-Eric Swalwell Democratic congressional school of preemptive Trump-lynching as grounds for impeachment.

Trump engaged Cohen to spare him Stormy’s threats of raw meat publicity for the impartial press, (where the New York Times formally had announced their partiality in news stories in the national interest), in the last week of the election campaign. Cohen did so, invoiced Trump, and the client paid the invoice. It is not clear how specific Trump’s instructions were. Cohen leaked a recording of a conversation a few weeks ago to incite the fear that he might have taped some indiscretion of Trump, (totally unethical for a lawyer to do that with a client).

This cannot seriously be construed as a campaign contribution, as was found in the John Edwards case, where there had been an extensive affair and a child resulted while Edwards was running for vice president. And it certainly is nowhere near the “high crime or misdemeanor” the Constitution requires to remove someone from federal office.

The Democrats will achieve new depths of misplaced righteousness as they carry forward the icons of their past leaders in uxorial fidelity, the hall of fame of upholders of connubial values: Thomas Jefferson, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, and William Jefferson Clinton, like Infants of Prague (the city Michael Cohen never visited). This ghastly charade, which began as the vengeance of the Democrats on the impudence of the country for electing the Republican candidate, as well as Hillary Clinton’s excuse for her astounding loss of a won election, is finally entering its last chapter.

Give the People What They Need to Decide

The following events should now occur, and I believe most of them will. In this last gasp of Mueller’s warlock-hunt, the president in keeping with the energetic midterm campaign he promised, should finally order the release of all the material the Justice Department is withholding which congressional committees have demanded, and he should reduce at once by two years the sentences of all federal prisoners who are nonviolent first offenders.

This would assure the immediate release of tens of thousands of people. American prisons are stuffed with innocent and grossly over-sentenced victims of the criminal sausage factory who were railroaded by the crooked prosecutorial system, of which fired FBI director James Comey, his egregious lawyer Patrick Fitzgerald, fired FBI deputy director Andrew McCabe, and Mueller are shining exemplars. Apart from being a just measure, it would accelerate the tidal drift of African-American voters from the Democrats who have done nothing but strengthen their welfare dependency since Lyndon Johnson, to President Trump, who has shown his determination to reform the fascistic American criminal justice system with its North Korean conviction levels and stark racial imbalances.

Trump should campaign on these points: You, the people, are the jury. If you want to decriminalize policy differences and avoid impeachment trials for inoffensive acts such as authorizing a lawyer to facilitate discretion by someone over a decade-old uncontroversial one evening encounter, vote Republican. If you want to keep your tax cuts and relative regulatory liberty, vote Republican. If you do not want open borders where millions of unscreened people, a significant number of them violent and dangerous, will enter illegally, clog our welfare rolls, and be encouraged to vote (Democratic) regardless of their illegal status, vote Republican.

If the Democrats win control of the House of Representatives by more than a few members, they will probably try to impeach the president but will have no chance of removing him in a Senate trial on this nonsense. If the Republicans retain the House and add to their majority in the Senate, minus feckless members such as Bob Corker (R-Tenn.), Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.), and even Paul Ryan (R-Wis.), the president will put the rest of his program through, as the Democrats begin the agonizing reappraisal that awaits them.

That party has come to a dead end, as former intelligence chiefs James Clapper and John Brennan publicly fall out over Brennan’s charge against Trump of “treason.” They hung all their hopes on Mueller, who has shot his pathetic bolt. Their face is the cheery countenance of their 28-year old nitwit socialist Bronx congressional candidate, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Their voice is the Cuomo brothers: Andrew says America was never great and Chris says the country should support the Antifa thugs in their ninja suits. This is the inspiration of the Democrats: the wit of the Cuomos; a wit composed of the reflections of two halfwits.

Whatever the results on election night, the president should fire Attorney General Jeff Sessions, his deputy Rod Rosenstein, and Special Counsel Robert Mueller as soon as the polls have closed—there’s nothing impeachable about firing incompetent people, some of whom are behaving unconstitutionally.

You would never guess it from the fatuous ululations of triumph of his enemies, but Trump has won already.

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