Karma Meter: 174. There is no use of Shatner's spoken word album that doesn't require a humanity check. 218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.

Kids Are Cruel: Neutral Evil. 476. The alignment of 2 years olds is not automatically

Kill It with Water: 1071. I will go take out the villains dungeon the old fashioned way, and not use magic to reroute a river into it instead. 1131. Summoning a Water Elemental right above the Fire Elemental doesn't work. 1683. Killing the orc horde by drowning them all at once is heroic. Killing them by drowning them one at a time is an alignment check.

Knife Nut: 1644. Even if it fills the mission parameters, no machete killing sprees dressed like Carmen Miranda.

Konami Code: note Because the correct code is up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B, A, B, Start. 403. My rigger does not get a bonus if his log in code is up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right, A, B, A, B, Start.

Kung-Foley: 784. Monks do not make 3 Stooges sounds in combat.

Least Rhymable Word: 46. Sliver rhymes with silver because the computer frelling says so. 1428. No spending half the game session seeing what rhymes with Nyarlathotep.

Lethal Chef: 2107. Tharn aren't allowed to take cooking skills.

Linear Warriors, Quadratic Wizards: 69. There is more to wizardry than magic missile. Even if I can do 200 damage automatic with no save 1493. No metamagic feat lets me add fragmentation to my spells.

Literal Genie: He's got a backup plan for this guy. 744. My second wish can't be for a new, more open minded genie to grant my remaining wishes.

Load-Bearing Boss: 1046. We can't stabilize the dying villain before we make our escape just in case he was a load bearing villain.

Logic Bomb: Back to the genie. 199. My third wish cannot be 'I wish you wouldn't grant this wish.'

Longest Pregnancy Ever: 1616. Despite what the math says, elves do not gestate for an entire decade.

The Loonie: If only fictional examples of this kind of player could be quite so dedicated to it... but he doesn't seem to like competition. 635. Arguments cannot end with the statement 'Alright, we'll settle this like penguins!' Or their players. 1088. I cannot try and throw large blunt objects at Malkavians kobolds or kender 1385. Even if I couldn't attend the session when everything went to hell, it's still my fault. 1426. I am not "He who must not be named only in passing."

Lost Him in a Card Game: He's not even allowed to make the bet. 1794. Can't use party members for ante.

Lovable Sex Maniac: Quite possibly Welch himself, given the number of sex-related things. 51. No longer allowed to use the time machine for booty calls. 125. Lingerie can only snap coincidentally so many times per day. 172. At no point can I justify spending force points on a seduction check. 264. I cannot use the time machine to go to Ancient Greece where all the women were leather clad, oiled down with big bosoms. 576. I cannot use my sneak attack opportunity to cop a feel. 661. The line on my character sheet for 'Sex' is not for keeping score. 972. "Threesome" is not a specialty of the seduction skill. 1082. There is no such thing as a brothel crawl. 1240. No matter what the dice say, I didnt just seduce Chun Li. And Cammy. 1663. There is no such thing as a 'bad touch attack'. 1950. Not allowed to start the campaign having sex, especially with another PC. 2241. "Fantastic in the sheets" is not an appropriate character focus. 2273. Can't pick a religion based solely on the greatest number of sexual positions allowed. 2347. I also can't spend all my character points on one just really awesome concubine. 2343. I can't spend all my starting points on concubines. 2370. I will keep the amount of sexual innuendos to a minimum in the autopsy report.

Lord British Postulate: Mr. Welch has attempted to kill weather patterns. 1086. Tornadoes dont have hit points. 1401. I will stop shooting at natural disasters.

Ludicrous Gibs: 510. After a bloody battle, I will not celebrate by lying down and making carnage angels. 1662. No starting a mosh pit in a leper colony. 1690. I don't get double XP if I kill the monster with explosive decompression. 1867. Can't have a gun that reduces people to Rorschach tests.

Made from Real Girl Scouts: 1933. No part of the elven cloak is actually made out of elves.

Make Wrong What Once Went Right: 145. I cannot go back in time to cut in line at the Declaration of Independence so everybody now is asked for their Terrence E. Woczinski when signing documents. 1479. Using the time machine to put 'W' at the front of the alphabet is silly. 1511. No using the time machine to set the "Star Spangled Banner" to anything by White Zombie. 1634. If it's revealed Shakespeare was the author of Funky Cold Medina my time machine privileges are revoked. 1703. The time machine is not for finding ringers for our baseball team. 1705. If my boss wakes up to find a young Frank Sinatra won American Idol , no more time machine for me.

Master of None: 5. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills. 44. Not allowed to spend all 100 character points on 100 1pt skills. 917. Have one point in every single skill in the game doesn't count as a super power. 1917. "The ability to do anything, as long as it's not that hard" is not a real superpower.

The Matchmaker: 648. Can't marry off another PC more than half a dozen times.

Medium Awareness: 269. My character cannot hear the soundtrack.

Me's a Crowd: 675. Even if the rules allow it, I can't take the Identical Twin advantage 22 times. 954. I will not convince the entire party to play identical copies of the same character on the grounds we're sextuplets.

Mid-Battle Tea Break: Defied. 116. Not allowed to take a coffee break during the final super villain showdown. 2250. Even if I haven't had anything to do for several hours, no updating Facebook in the middle of a Black Ops.

Milking the Monster: 2278. Especially if the original mission was "kill all the goblins in this cave." 2277. If the king says he will reimburse our expenses, no turning the mission into an epic continent spanning quest.

A Million Is a Statistic: 1683. Killing the orc horde by drowning them all at once is heroic. Killing them by drowning them one at a time is an alignment check.

Mind Screw: Severely frowned upon. 1341. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot become famous for not being famous. 2428. Not allowed to see if its [sic] possible to drown someone in a barrel filled with healing potions.

The Minion Master: 24. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales. 299. I do not get any XP for anyone I kill by stampeding sheep. 337. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot control 20,000 pigeons and use them as flying piranha. 999. I can't train squirrel mobs to abuse the grapple rules 1512. My canine officer can't spend his animal requisition cash to buy two dozen chihuahuas. 1884. If a PC gets taken out by a deer, can't recruit the deer to replace him. 2207. We are not stopping the villain with small mammals armed with power tools.

Minmaxer's Delight: 1800. I will not point out any loophole that arouses the powergamer.

Mirror Universe: 325. Even if he was a paragon of humanity in his alternate dimension, Good Hitler is not an appropriate superhero concept.

Misplaced Accent: 26. Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the paladin. 1286. My Buddhist monk will lose the cockney accent. 1741. Klingons don't have a French accent. 1970. Even If I need to practice it, if I'm playing Batman, I lose the Russian accent. 2211. If I have to change my samurai's voice, I will pick something that doesn't make him sound like a native of Guadalajara.

Mohs Scale of Science Fiction Hardness: 1817. Can't target the starship's radiator. Although he was being silly, and treating a starship as though it were an automobile, a realistic spacecraft would have to have large radiator panels to dissipate all of its waste heat, and destroying them would cripple the spacecraft .

Moment Killer: 928. The Flaw: Odious Personal Habit- Teleports into romantic moments is only available at the maximum penalty.

Money Spider: 1045. We will not gut every animal we kill to see if they have treasure inside like in video games.

Mook Chivalry: Averted! 932. Nowhere in the bible does it say ninjas have to line up in a straight line to fight me.

Mook Horror Show 617: The forehead is not an appropriate place for a killcount holo-tattoo.

More Dakka: 15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A. 440. I am forbidden from trying to merge the best features of automatic weapons and manual transmissions. 557. If they get a bonus to spot my gun with a geiger counter, I can't have it. 589. If my gun on a scale of 1-10 is a 7, it's vetoed if that's the Richter scale. 603. I cannot have any gun mentioned in the Geneva Convention by name. 803. If my personal carried firepower exceeds that of the Battleship Texas, there's a problem. 868. I cannot have a gun with an area of affect larger than it's range. 872. Any gun that sets off the metal detector before I even pass through it is vetoed. 925. Any gun that can fire more rounds in one shot than I can physically carry is vetoed. 1034. Even if I wait for the ninja to jump at me, I cant crucify him with a repeating crossbow in a single round. 1044. No matter how much ammo I start with, I can't impact the total world supply. 1528. I can't ask the bad guy if I fired 40,000 rounds or just 39,999. 1533. Even if the rules allow it, can't have a belt fed pistol. 1722. No building a Gatling Gatling gun. 2076. If I'm commissioned to build an artillery gun, they don't mean a gun that fires howitzers

Most Common Superpower: Doesn't actually count as a superpower, no. 1314. Gravity defying breasts, while impressive, do not count as a super power. Enforced by at least one of his Dungeonmasters. 1481. The Island of Small Breasted Fantasy Females does not exist.

Munchkin: He can be one at times. 1647. Any character requiring the GM to tab more than 10 pages of rules for reference is vetoed. As stated above, he likes pissing off other munchkins, as well: 1653. The power gamer would appreciate me not bringing the book with the rule he is grotesquely abusing. Just as often, he deliberately makes himself as useless as possible  whichever is funny. 1731. If I take the blowgun, I at least have to poison the darts. 1730. No putting all my weapon points in the blowgun.

Mundane Solution: Forbidden in at least one case: 1404. I will not spoil the adventure's mandatory ambush by using the cheesy tactic of a "scout." 1937. Not my fault if you can defeat the labyrinth by just making right turns.

Mundane Utility: 7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes. 183. There are no rules for cooking corn dogs in any d20 supplement. 500. My superhero will not spend points to fly just because he's too lazy to walk. 544. I will not cast Gate to bind an infernal creature of power to my bidding and make him mow the lawn. 566. When confronted with a haunted house with bleeding walls, no converting it into a self supporting blood bank. 850. Doesn't matter how practical, we aren't reanimating the dead dragon and having him haul that horde back for us. 1041. Doesn't matter if I'm just using to spot weld, force lightning still gets me a dark side point. 1142. I will not use the mages Staff of Wizardry in lieu of a pool cue. 1194. I will not go to FTL just to avoid the red lights. 1329. The M203 is not for long range bocce ball 1416. The guy with the meltagun doesn't automatically have to carry the popcorn. 1620. I will not use the druid's chakram to play frisbee with his dire wolf. 1621. No using the Reduce spell to only to buy a child's ticket at the movies. 1697. Can't use the Decanter of Endless Water for water skiing, the Jacuzzi, or a wet tabard contest. 1717. The spell Summon Vacuum Elemental is not for household chores. 1897. Assist Other actions helps in combat, not with crossword puzzles. 1948. Having an electrotech in the party doesn't mean I get to leave my phone charger at home. 2031. Even if the kids love it, the Cone of Cold spell is not for making toboggan rides possible in August. 2070. The spell is "Heat Metal", not "Detect Piercings". 2150. The cryokinetic's default job is not to protect the cooler. 2230. Even if we were told to use all of it, can't use the extra explosives for public displays of affection to my girlfriend. 2238. The Returning ability on magical weapons doesn't let me make a fortune at pawn shops. 2249. Even if I take the Total Recall trait, I can't remember all quarter million crew on my ship by their first name. 2469. The AV-9 is for air support, not beer runs.

Multiple Head Case: 2062. Even if I have enough rope and have nine attacks a round, can't garrote a hydra.

Must Have Caffeine: 2413. The barbarian can still berserk even if he hasn't had his morning coffee.

My Friends... and Zoidberg: 219. In formal introductions to royalty, I must not introduce my companions as just "The Other Guys".

Names to Run Away from Really Fast: 17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero. 1860. Summary Execution Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero, even if it is accurate.

Never Found the Body: Does not equal a Pacifist Run. 649. Zero bodycount does not mean just the ones they can find.

Never Mess with Granny: His characters can come from some seriously deadly ancestors. 111. I did not pick the garrote skill last week from my grandmother. 642. My character's grandma was not, is not and will never be a contract killer.

Nobody Loves the Bassist: 2244. On second thought, rhythm guitar isn't an appropriate focus for a bard.

No Man of Woman Born: 2126. There will be no more arguing on whether Eowyn could have killed MacBeth or McDuff could have killed the Witch King.

Non-Indicative Name: 378. I can cannot give my character the moniker "Tim the Barbarian". Especially since he's the bard. 1494. When playing a teleporter, I will buy the ability to actually teleport. 1714. My martial artist has to actually know a martial art.

Noodle Incident/Noodle Implements: The entire list. A few examples: 63. No, I cannot buy 10,000 marbles even if I say please 93. I am to remind my DM that he must never, ever give my paladin a dire boar for a mount again. 101. I am not allowed to pave anything. 114. The demilich only falls for getting stuffed in the bag of holding once. 226. Troll bubblegum...bad idea. 572. Even if the rules say otherwise, I cannot carry 100lbs of styrofoam without encumbrance penalties. 598. Any adventure that ends up with my character being worshiped as an orc god was just a dream. Retroactively if need be. 647. Any answer to a question involving the words 'wizard', 'station wagon' and 'wood paneling' is no. 1007. That whole Expedition to the Barrier Peaks? Dream Sequence. 1313. I will do nothing that tarnishes Hello Kitty 's memory. 1549. The totalitarian government tends to notice large purchases of cows, trebuchets and surveying gear. 1708. No bringing up the time we were nearly TPK'd by a jerboa. 2375. The rulebook was not kidding about needing 5,000 people to hijack a Star Destroyer.

No Pronunciation Guide: 561. I can't play a deep gnome just to make the rest of the party have to pronounce Svirfneblin. 716. I cannot play a race the GM can't pronounce. 2226. The concept of vowels are not alien to dwarves.

The Nudifier:

893. 672. Teleport Without Pants is not a real spell.893. Invisibility is all or nothing, can't just target their clothes.

Nuke 'em: Mr. Welch is not allowed to interact with nuclear weapons, for good reason.

1352. Even if we are issued a nuke, I'm not allowed to touch it. 1270. Weapon Focus: Nukes is not a real feat.1352. Even if we are issued a nuke, I'm not allowed to touch it. 1779. Using nuclear weapons in assassinations is just being lazy.

Obvious Rule Patch: Some of the rules are obvious attempts to close loopholes established by earlier rules. For instance: 516. Not allowed to name my characters Grimlock. 502. If my name isn't Grimlock , can't start every sentence with " Me Grimlock ".

Odd Job Gods: 3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery. 248. There is no Halfling god of groin shots. 1342. There is no god of Wombats, no matter how much I pray.

Off the Rails: He's tried. The DMs don't like it. 38. When investigating evil cultists , not allowed to just torch the decrepit mansion from the outside. 182. No figuring out the plot and killing the actual villain five minutes into the adventure. 270. I cannot derail the adventure for a two hour in character discussion on the qualities of rope. 360. I must remind the GM that my Blessed can Raise Dead before he runs another murder mystery again. 621. No offering the old man and the farm kid a better rate to Alderaan 840. Even if it would have immediately solved the last six adventures, I won't throw dynamite in every well I come across. 922. No matter how much we look, we're not finding the secret door leading to the back of the villain's hideout. 1217. No matter what the dice just said, I didn't kill the villain with the first shot of the combat.

Old Soldier: 1304. Even if they are better in combat according to character generation , the USMC frowns on octogenarians in front line combat.

Omniglot: Only allowed if the character could conceivably be one. So anyone without an education is right out. 1169. If even the rules allow it, I cant have my uneducated peasant start with every known language.

One-Hit Polykill: 1269. Even if the guy I based my character off was famous for doing it, I cant kill eight guys with one bullet.

One Steve Limit: 288. I cannot name my character after another PC already in this game. 882. I will not convince the party to name all the characters the same thing.

Only Smart People May Pass: He can be a bit too smart. 1164. I will wait for the GM to finish his incredibly complicated riddle before answering correctly. 1534. I will raise my hand if I've already heard the DM's riddle.

Our Elves Are Better: Even less so than Our Dwarves Are All the Same, this doesn't count. 188. I cannot play an elf with a Scottish accent, nor a Cajun dwarf. 294. My dwarf is not claustrophobic, likewise, my elf is not agoraphobic. 677. Elves do not have the racial trait: No Gag Reflex. 826. Elves do not respond to chainsaws the same ways dogs react to vacuum cleaners. 886. Elves are not deciduous. 964. Elves aren't marsupials. 983. Elves do not take 1d3 1 minutes for their entire menstrual cycle. 1018. Elves do not get Viking Funerals. 1474. The concept of puberty is not alien to the elves. 1616. Despite what the math says, elves do not gestate for an entire decade. 1689. 1/3 of the elf homeland's GDP does not go to hair care products. 2120. Elves do not squirt ink out of their nipples as a defense mechanism. 2121. Elves also do not secrete a foul tasting oil when threatened. 2122. The reason elves live in forests is not to protect them from eagles that swoop down and grab them up. 2373. The name for a group of elves is not the fagot. 2393. The natural enemy of the elf is not the common cold.

Our Vampires Are Different: 318. Vampiric cows are not the fast food innovation of the future.

Our Werebeasts Are Different: 107. There is no such game as Wereshark the Buffet. 2431. A mandingo is not an Australian lycanthrope.