I moved out of the house just before my 19th birthday. I’m sure my mother must have thought, at that age, that she’d done everything she could to teach me how to take care of myself and be a good person.



Gawd was I ever lost.



Despite her best efforts, (she taught me how to do laundry, cook a few things, gave me advice on getting good credit, etc.), there were still many things I didn’t know, and life during my twenties became a crash course in getting by. But I survived, and I learned all the lessons I needed to in the process, growing and changing to become the fully formed adult that I was meant to be.



I’m teaching my son earlier so he’s more prepared than I was. At 10 he got into the habit of keeping his room clean. At 11 he learned how to budget and save. At 12 he basically had the laundry down. At 13 he now cooks dinner once a week for the family. Like my mother, I’ve tried to teach him along the way all of the other important lessons as well, like being kind to others, being fair and just, how to make good decisions, etc. And like my mother, I hope when he moves out he will be able to take care of himself and be a good person.



I’m sure my son will also learn his own lessons, despite everything I’ve done, because that’s an important part of his life and his development.



The same rules apply when you write a novel and send it out on submission.



I’m about to send my manuscript to literary agents. I’m about 20 pages from the end, and have been editing like crazy. I hope my characters stand on their own two feet. I hope the themes carry through the way I’ve molded them to. I hope everything comes together in the end so that my book baby can have a great and prosperous life beyond my hovering and nitpicking.



Like every parent, I’ve received well-meaning advice from many people. While I know that they are only trying to help me, and as much as I appreciate it, I intend to send it out when I feel it’s ready with the confidence that I’ve done my absolute best. (Thankfully manuscripts cannot run away.)



I know that my novel is going to go through changes once it gets out into the world, just like everyone who’s ever left the nest. I know it will return to me soon after, with many questions, and still need my help growing and evolving, and I’m okay with that. But there always comes a time, as a parent, and an author, when you have to say, “I’ve done my best, and now it’s time to go forward and have your own journey, my precious.”

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