Look at that rat up there, just chilling. Being a rat. Little does he know that, if scientists wanted to, they could give him a boner right away just by flipping a switch.

Why? Because scientists are some fucked up people, that’s why.

Also, because research I guess? I don’t really know.

But a researcher in Switzerland thinks he can cure erectile dysfunction just by shining a light on your pee pee, because that’s what he did to rats and, almost instantly, it was Boner Jamz 3000. From Motherboard:

Martin Fussenegger, a researcher at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Zurich, ​published a paper last week in Angewandte Chemie (a journal published by the German Chemical Society), in which he details a process to use optogenetics to stimulate erections in rats.

What is optogenetics? A fucked up science? You betcha.

​Optogenetics is a burgeoning field of synthetic biology in which certain neurons and body processes can be controlled using light. Typically, light-sensitive algal or bacterial DNA is encoded into a virus that targets specific neurons in the brain. That virus is then injected into the brain of whatever you want to control, usually a mouse or rat (though there’s no reason it couldn’t work in humans—​it hasn’t been tried yet because of ethical concerns). This “transfection” then allows you to turn those neurons off and on using a blue light.

Fussenegger did this to rats, injecting their dicks with DNA that made them go rock hard when a light was shined on their teeny, tiny rat cocks.

He transfected rats by injecting their corpa cavernosa with the light-sensitive DNA from a bacteria—after a series of different gene variants, some of which were tossed out because of “leakiness,” he found one that reliably caused erections. … Shine a blue light (a Philips goLITE BLU, designed to treat seasonal affective disorder, if you must know) on a rat dick, cause dick to get hard.

All I have to say to that is “word.” Science. Doing the shit only stoned people imagine is possible.

Eventually, of course, this will be tried on humans.

The plan is to eventually use this either instead of or in tandem with Viagra to treat erectile dysfunction and give men access to on-demand erections.

Hopefully, the light you use doesn’t show semen stains, because that could be a REAL turnoff in the bedroom.

Also, if you wanna see a picture of a rat dick leaking jizz, by all means, click here.