Somewhere in New York this week, Bill Ryan might be found standing in line after an author's reading, waiting his turn for a few words and a signature. While some people get nervous waiting to speak to an author, Ryan is often more nervous than most. That's because he's not just hoping for an autograph -- he's hoping for an insult.

It started six or so years ago. Ryan was at a reading at BookCourt in New York; author Maggie Pouncey signed books and then -- there was a lull. This is how Ryan tells it:

I'm not sure why I asked her for an insult. It sorta popped into my head. Her face morphed from "practiced pleasant face" to "incredulous and slightly alarmed, but ready for the punchline," almost like I'd asked her to sign my book using her newborn's blood. I had to embellish. I made up more backstory --

This is the backstory: He'd gone to a reading about four years before by prizewinning short story writer Charles D'Ambrosio at Elliott Bay Books in Seattle. After the small crowd dispersed, he told D'Ambrosio he was a struggling writer. "He drank some coffee with me, told a couple stories about starting out," Ryan says, then inscribed his book with a profane yet cheerful exhortation to get writing.

-- [and] claimed I'd been collecting insults since that day with D'Ambrosio. Really! It's not weird at all, asking for insults! You're in good company!



So she was my first.

Ryan is tracking them all on his excellent blog, Insulted by Authors. He also writes about the readings he attends, even if the authors fail to insult him. "It's difficult to imagine an author I'd prefer sit across from during a long train ride through some stimulating European landscape," he writes of Salman Rushdie's reading. "His warm-up talk was filled with anecdotes about fellow authors and intellectuals, stories whose heroes weren't inevitably Rushdie himself."

A lot of times, the signatures and Ryan's commentary about them can be profane. I wish I could share Amy Sedaris' insult with you -- but it's far too filthy.