art by Samir Duran

This week, I present to you a very special, super-sized episode of Angel’s Pip-Boy Diary.

But first, I have a few bits of Fallout: Equestria-related news that I wanted to pass on. First, Pony Congress 2016 is a european convention for bronies which will be organized in Poland. At that convention, they are going to hold a charity auction to gather money for a Foundation fighting malaria. There will be a few Fo:E pictures amongst the auctioned art, including the amazing picture by Samir Duran above. This is a noble cause, and I really hope the auction is a great success.

Second, I wanted to pass on that the Fallout: Equestria group here on FIMfiction has started off the new year with a monthly short story collaboration that everyone interested in writing in the Fo:E universe is welcome to contribute to. Interested in doing a little writing in the Equestrian Wasteland? Or maybe just reading some new short Fo:E stories? Then I encourage you to give it a look here.

As some have been asking, in an upcoming APBD entry, I will give my current Fallout 4 load order. That load order is in the process of changing, as I am phasing out everything I build with Settlement Supplies Expanded and replacing it with construction using the far superior and more user-friendly Homemaker mod. (Because yes, playing Homemaker is much better than SSEx. )

Angel's Pip-Boy Diary

Day 38

Day 38 – Early Morning

November 30, 2287 I spent yesterday making sure all was secure at the settlements I have been aiding before heading into what may be my final fight. But assuring that, and divesting myself of everything weighing me down, is only part of why I didn’t choose to go straight into Fort Hagen. Kellogg is in there, and evidence suggests that he is working for (or with) the Institute. I am expecting at least a few synth bodyguards. I want to be properly prepared if Fort Hagen turns out to be a major Institute fortress. I was just finishing a new paint job on my power armor (red flames – thank you, Hot Rodder magazine!) when I got the call that Oberland Station was under attack. It was the perfect test run for the new upgrades before taking the armor into Fort Hagen. I was surprised when Nick showed up. He’d heard of the attack as well and came to help. Between the two of us, the ogres didn’t stand a chance. After the battle, we immediately made hast to Fort Hagen. Dogmeat was still on watch there, but I didn’t want to risk Kellogg slipping away. We stopped only once, briefly, at a relay tower. It was a good place to grab a quick bite, and make sure neither of us had taken any bad hits before we got there. While at the station, I activated it, raising the satellite dishes. My Pip-Boy immediately picked up several new signals, including one that may have been a distress call. However, the signal was so weak and saturated with static that I couldn’t make anything out clearly. We infiltrated Fort Hagen through a garage. It is a pleasure to work with Nick. We can share insights, and even possess a similar skill set – the ex-investigator and the detective. There isn’t a locked door or secure terminal in Fort Hagen that stands a chance between the two of us. Unfortunately, we have a lot more to deal with than locked doors and terminals. There are synths here! “Asset Kellogg in danger.” Well, that cinches the Institute as the force behind Nate’s murder and Shaun’s kidnapping. The big bogeyman of the Commonwealth made itself my personal monster as well. Part of me has been refusing to take the threat of the Institute at face value. I’ve argued enough civil action cases to know that no matter how much you try to paint the picture of a monolithic evil, the truth is always much more complicated. There is always a counter-argument. The company you are suing always has a defense. One that could sway the jury, either through the strength of their facts or the slyness of their argument. I refused to believe the Shadow Over the Commonwealth was everything people like Piper have been making it out to be. Absolutely all evidence is telling me the Institute is everything they are made out to be. And, if possible, even worse. I don’t know what I’m going to do about that. The Institute isn’t going to be afraid of one woman with some guns. They’ve made a practice out of terrorizing all of Massachusetts. But I can put “asset Kellogg” in the ground for murdering my husband. That I absolutely can do.

New Perk: Hacker Rank 3

Day 38 – Morning

November 30, 2287 “Why are you hiding?” Seriously? They don’t program you with an understanding of self-preservation? Actually, based on the way you machines fight, I can believe that. “I understand. You are hiding because you fear death.” Absolutely. I’m pissed off and vengeful, not suicidal or insane. I don’t like getting shot. Even with all the miracles of medicine, injury still hurts. It still cripples, even if only briefly. And if I’m not fast enough with the stimpacks (or in the increasingly unlikely event that I run out), then I die. I don’t want to die. As much as I love him dearly, I don’t want to die for Nate. I don’t want to die for the Commonwealth. I don’t want to die for my country which doesn’t exist anymore. I’ll fight for them. I’ll risk my life for them. But I’m not going to do it stupidly. I’m going to hide; I’m going to wait for the opportune moment to strike. I fight like a coward because I am, at heart, a coward. And you know what, machines? That’s why I’m going to survive this and you won’t. Synths are never going to outmatch humans if they don’t have proper self-preservation instincts. Hell, stimpacks make us superior. I feel like I’m trapped between a nightmare and a joke. At least the joke delivered a punchline… in the form of a two-shot pipe revolver pistol. This thing is a decent weapon right now. But if I survive Kellogg, when I get this back to my workshop, it is going to become one sweet sniper rifle.

Day 38 – Late Morning

November 30, 2287 We’ve had a break in the fighting. Valentine and I have cleared out all the immediately accessible floors and are about risk the elevator to the lower levels. While taking a breather, Nick and I talked about the Institute. I keep trying to figure out what their goals are, but the synths themselves are a big, jagged puzzle piece that doesn’t fit. We know they have worked to make machines that are more and more human. But why? They aren’t creating tactically superior fighters by doing so. Codsworth would mop the kitchen floor with these things. Even Valentine is only as good as a skilled human soldier, and bereft of the benefit of stimpacks, he probably wouldn’t have survived this without the technological aid of the power armor he is wearing. Nick told me the story of how the various settlements of the Commonwealth once attempted to organize. They intended to create the Commonwealth Provisional Government. However, an Institute synth massacred everyone at the meeting, killing the effort before it could get off the ground. They seem to have a vested interest in keeping the Commonwealth fractured. And the one thing that the synths have proven exceptional at is sowing paranoia. The question is: why? If they were a foreign power, I would assume they were either softening us up for conquest, or assuring we didn’t develop into a power that could threaten them. But the Institute reads like a relatively small scientific cluster. It is hard to hide a city as effectively as they have hid themselves. My first inclination is to suspect they are operating from a Vault. So why make enemies of a much larger group if they don’t have to? For that matter, why the hell kidnap Shaun? My medical theory still feels strongest. Even when I can make sense of their tactics of infiltration – planting agents secretly amongst populations or sewing discord – I can’t rationalize why they don’t just use people for that. It would be easier, and consume a lot fewer resources. You don’t need the insane level of technology to do what they have done. Unless for some reason, they do. I’ve only “seen” one member of the Institute, and she was fully enclosed in some sort of environmental suit. Maybe they are afflicted with a medical condition that prevents them from acting on the surface incognito. If they all have blue skin and tails, or hideous boils all over their bodies, or are actually hyper-evolved and intelligent cockroaches, then I can see needing substitutes. And if they are as paranoid about us as they are making us of them, or they cannot naturally survive in our environment, I suppose that could prevent them from contracting outside help and drive them to build their own. …except they have contracted outside help: Kellogg. Nick told me the Broken Mask story. I had heard it before from Piper’s paper, but it was good to get confirmation from a source I can trust. It is dangerous to trust a synth. The tale of Broken Mask illustrates that well, but Nick tales of escaping synths hammers it home. If the synths have programming that prevents them from remembering anything about the Institute, they could have other programming they are not aware of as well. The lazy conclusion to jump to is that they could all be programmed to start killing everyone around them at the Institute’s whim. But, again, you don’t need a robot to do that. And yet, I trust Nick Valentine. Even if I have to pragmatically accept that he could have some hidden programming he is unaware of. Heck, is it really that different than trusting human people? I asked him about how he has become accepted in Diamond City with anti-synth attitudes and paranoia so rampant. And, for that matter, why does he stay? Nick had rescued Mayor Robert’s daughter. His story was touching, and also hilarious. I loved his “beep beep beep” tactic. I now see how Nick the Synth became Nick the Detective. I think we’ve grown a bit closer too. Even with all the reminders around us of what synths are and where they come from, I think of Nick as a person. (Which, oddly, has me reassessing how I feel about Codsworth.) If we both survive this, I can see Nick becoming one of my most treasured friends. (Heck, if he was human, he could easily become more. I prize him for his discerning intellect and perfect charm, nothing physical. But that sort of appreciation easily leads towards a fascination with the physical as well. I wonder how Nate would have liked him.)

Day 38 – Noon

November 30, 2287 The soundtrack for our fearsome battle through the bowels of Fort Hagen is courtesy of Kellogg. The guy has access to the intercom system and simply will not shut up. He isn’t saying anything I give a damn about. But it is reassuring to know he will still be alive when I reach him. For a very short period of time. No, it has to be long enough to get some information out of him. I’ve waited long enough… Nate has waited long enough… that I can hold back painting the room with his entrails like some God-dammed raider a little while longer. Side note: cryo mines are amazing. Oh, look, a fat man. I’ll come back for that later. I’ll come back for everything later. I’m not bothering to scavenge anything (except the occasional bit off a “legendary” synth). If I survive what is at the end of this, I’ll have time for it after. And if I don’t, it won’t matter.

Day 38 – Early Afternoon

November 30, 2287 I survived. Kellogg did not. It was the fiercest fight I’ve ever been in. I started it. Me and my power armor weathered the bottlecap mine I dropped at our feet better than Kellogg and his Stealth Boy. Even then, it was a devil of a fight. I hope Nate is resting easier now. Of course, I know he is with God and has been since that bastard Kellogg murdered him. Killing Kellogg doesn’t really help Nate in any way. But it helps me. And it was justice. Or vengeance. Either way, I was able to kneel and weep for Nate after that. I did so for at least an hour. (Eventually, kneeling in power armor becomes distractingly uncomfortable.) But… I felt a lot better after. I think I have finally been able to come to terms with Nate’s passing. I can think of him fondly without feeling my heart wrench in pain. Without feeling I have failed him somehow. I don’t think I even realized I had been feeling that. I’d watched, unable to intervene, unable to help. They say it is like having a weight lifted, but it was really more like having taken a bath after being dirty for so long. Kellogg was not fully human. He had cybernetic implants. Are they putting things in Shaun? Does this shed new, disturbing light on what medical need the Institute might have of him? As gruesome as it is, I’m taking them with me. Maybe Scribe Hayden can glean something from them. According to Kellogg, Shaun is with “the people pulling the strings” – the Institute. I need to find the Institute’s base of operations. Clearly, even with as many synths as we fought through here, Fort Hagen wasn’t it. Kellogg's computer revealed as much... as well as saying that Shaun had been "delivered" (and mentioning a renegade that Kellogg was supposedly hunting). It couldn’t still be the Commonwealth Institute of Technology, could it? Of course, I’m making a hell of an educated assumption with this presumed C.I.T. connection. I pressed Kellogg for how to find the Institute before I killed him, but he couldn’t provide any answers. According to Kellogg, the Institute finds you. He used an analogy of a monster in the closet: “You open the closet; it’s just a closet. You never find the monster that hides inside. Not until it jumps out at you.” I know that I’ve lost Shaun. Nate is at rest. There is nothing to gain by pursuing this further… but I am going to. I intend to see this through to the end. I’m going to find the monster in the closet. And I’m going to kill it. Or get eaten. But that is something for another day.

Day 38 – Afternoon

November 30, 2287 Nick recommends talking with Piper. She makes a career of sticking her nose in the Institute’s business. I must say that my first impression of that woman was not favorable. But if Nick thinks she can help, I am inclined to believe him. And if he thinks well of her, she probably deserves a second chance from me. First things first: return to my homestead, fix this armor and unload… “People of the Commonwealth: do not interfere.” Holy…. Forget the handbaskets: holy fuck! “Our intentions are peaceful. We are the Brotherhood of Steel.” Okay, wow. Right now, I am so very glad I am on their side. And I get the sinking feeling that the “walking away” option may have just slid off the table. I’d better check in at BoS HQ. Okay, no, wait… I have several outstanding missions for the Brotherhood and none of my excuses for not getting them done yet seem sufficient as I stare at that amazing and terrifying airship. I had better get those missions done first, and as quickly as possible. Then rush to check in at the Cambridge Police Station. Sadly, I have to acknowledge that Piper can wait. I get the sense that things have just changed in a major way in the Commonwealth.

Day 38 – Evening

November 30, 2287 This is not were I expected to end the day. The Sunshine Tidings Co-op. This is the place that Preston Garvey asked me to clear so the Minutemen could start yet another settlement in the location. With the pre-existing buildings and the large garden area, I can see why. Well, since we’re here… and I could use something to vent on… On the way here, we passed a shack filled with propane canisters. It looked like someone planned to weaponize them. (Do I really want to know?) We also passed by the Federal Ration Stockpile. That could be worth checking out when I go back to loot Fort Hagen. I plan to take everything removable from that place. Then send people to dismantle the place brick by brick. We could use the raw materials, but more than that, I really want to take everything I can from the Institute. The Sunshine Tidings Co-op would be a great location to run that operation from.

Day 38 – Late Evening

November 30, 2287 Cleaning out the ghoul infestation here was both cathartic and easy. I learned my lesson at the Super Duper Mart: shoot even the “dead” bodies. But between this and the battles earlier today, I am almost out of shotgun shells. It is too late to get back to Sanctuary Hills tonight, so I’m planning to spend the night here. I remember getting fresh vegetables from this place “last” summer. I was trying out new vegetable stew recipes. Nate was very supportive (and tolerant) of my experimentation. I don’t think he ever really liked jicama the way I do. I wonder if the world still has jicama? The “free the robots” sign hasn’t faded completely away. I loved shopping here, but I always thought the Co-op brothers were kinda nuts. Trying to “free” robots from “slavery”. They reprogrammed (brainwashed?) their Mr. Handy, and it never really worked right after that. I wonder what they would think of this world. Or the Institute and the synths? I can imagine them at Bunker Hill, helping Jules runaway from the Institute. Professor Goodfeels doesn’t recognize me. But I don’t think it ever really did. I fixed up the water pumps, started a garden, and activated the beacon. This place will have settlers in no time. Valentine fears that the Brotherhood of Steel are starting a war. I worry. That was a hell of a show of force this afternoon. The sort of thing you do to intimidate. The first fear that comes to mind isn’t war, but occupation. They are also revealing one hell of an ace. That sort of heavy-handed power wouldn’t be needed or even wanted if their interest was in securing old bits of tech from places like ArcJet. Or God forbid, if for some reason they were looking to take over most of the settlements in the Commonwealth. The only place that might require aerial support to subdue would be Diamond City. But I cannot imagine Diamond City has anything they would want. Would they need it if they were just looking to get local raider or ogre strongholds under control? I could see that, considering how Gladius suffered casualties and had to withdraw from Corvega. It would be overkill, but I have been learning the merits of overkill. After ArcJet, I am more inclined to believe they are here for the Institute. In which case, Valentine is probably right. They’re starting a war. Against a technologically superior force of unknown size that nobody can find… and damn if I don’t think the Brotherhood of Steel will win. I’m crossing my fingers and offering a prayer that they are here for the Institute. And, if so, that they didn’t just reveal their hand too early. Which I doubt, considering the Brotherhood possesses the tactical expertise of a seasoned military organization. And that leads me to wonder: if these are the cards they have shown, what are the cards like that they are holding close to the chest? Please, God, tell me they’re not prepared to deploy a nuke.