Currently number one on the US Billboard Hot 100. All I know about this song is that apparently she’s nude on a wrecking ball in the film clip. Curious as to how it sounds.

Written by Lukasz Gottwald, Maureen Anne McDonald, Stephan Moccio, Sacha Skarbek, Henry Walter.

Produced by Dr. Luke (Gottwald) and Cirkut (Walter), the same team behind Katy Perry’s Roar (minus Max Martin).

Well, fancy that. I wasn’t expecting a power ballad, and I certainly wasn’t expecting Miley to deliver the first review in a long time with more than four chords in it. Granted, she had nothing to do with writing the song but with all the (negative) publicity lately, I was expecting a shitty will.i.am circa 2012 nightmare.

Seeing as the chorus is in F major, I’m going to transcribe the song as if it’s in F major, rather than the verse key of Dm.

Verse: vi (Dm), I (F), V ©, ii sus2 (Gm sus2)

Pre chorus: IV (Bb), vi (Dm), I (F), IV (Bb)

Chorus: I (F), V ©, vi (Dm), IV (Bb)

Bridge: IV (Bb), vi (Dm), I (F), iii (Am)

Look at all those pretty chord changes! They’ve used chords I, ii, iii, IV, V, vi and one of those was a suspended chord. This makes me happy.

One thing I learned recently was the power of using the words “we” or “us” towards the start of the song rather it being all “me” or “I” - it drags the listener, sometimes kicking and screaming, in to following the narrative of the song. “We” are part of it, she’s talking about “us” so it would be rude to switch radio stations, right?

We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain

We jumped, never asking why

We kissed, I fell under your spell

A love no one could deny



Don’t you ever say I just walked away

I will always want you

I can’t live a lie, running for my life

I will always want you

First verse is “we”, pre chorus is “you” and “I”. Straight away we have a story developing, one of togetherness morphing in to separation. All very quickly, within the first 40 seconds of the song. Followed by the chorus:

I came in like a wrecking ball

I never hit so hard in love

All I wanted was to break your walls

All you ever did was wreck me

Yeah, you, you wreck me

With that, the story is complete. I loved you, I walked away but still want more, probably because I fell so hard and want to change you, but deep down you’re an asshole. From there, the rest of the lyrics are pretty irrelevant. We have our story and we’re sticking to it.

Oh, wait. The bridge. Way to go and ruin everything.

I never meant to start a war

I just wanted you to let me in

And instead of using force

I guess I should’ve let you win

We have a new moral to the story - Mr. Asshole is okay to be an asshole and instead of pulling him up on his dickishness, just go with it and don’t cause a fuss. Maybe develop some healthy self esteem issues with that and wait until One Direction or Ne-Yo come along to love you for your low self-esteem and self worth. The words “hit” and “force” also conjure up images of domestic violence and I’m going to assume it’s intended in a metaphorical sense otherwise that opens up a whole new can of worms.

Would this work as an acoustic number, stripped bare of the bombastic post-dubstep chorus production?



Yes, yes it would. Good work, you multiple songwriters you.

Four balls out of five.

Okay, now to watch the video.

PUT SOME MORE CLOTHES ON YOU SILLY GIRL. STOP LICKING A HAMMER. OH, NOW YOU’RE FULLY NUDE. WRITHING ON A STEEL BALL. LICKING A HAMMER. REALLY SUBTLE.

Who in their right mind would direct such a ridiculous video to take away from the spectacle of a decent song? Prime example of why I review the songs without watching their video.

Oh, it was Terry Richardson, creep of creeps.

Now all the young girls know that not only do you not try to better a person that’s closed off and an asshole, you should probably take all your clothes off to express your anguish and fully celebrate your lack of self-worth.

Granted, it was dusty in there and she probably didn’t want to get her tidy whities all dirty.