Last week, while playing the 'Would You Rather' game, I was so disgusted with a friend that I wanted to throw him out of my house. The argument began over this question: If you had to pick one of the two, would you rather kill 100 puppies or one human baby? My friend said, ‘A hundred puppies’. My answer was the human baby. Before you label me barbaric, let me explain why I am more humane than anyone who thinks like my (former) friend.

Balance the grief

It’s a no-brainer. The question is about killing a dog or a human baby. It is about taking an innocent life one time or a hundred times. A life is a life. Whether a human or animal. Why would you distinguish between the two? What makes the human life more valuable? Don’t animals mourn the deaths of their children? Why is your grief more important than theirs? I realise that in a country where animal sacrifice is an accepted practice, that would seem like a stupid question. If you kill a human, you get a life sentence. If you kill an animal, you get good luck and prosperity (isn’t that what the babas tell you) If you try to file a complaint about someone deliberately running over a dog, the cops will not even file an FIR. They’ll tell you it’s a waste of time. That’s what is wrong with the world.

Keep the children safe

Two months ago, I nearly jumped out of a running vehicle to yell at a local goon of sorts (dressed in all-white, chewing paan and wearing multiple gold chains — do the math) who had grabbed the throat of a dog who was crying in pain. He stopped when I approached him screaming, asking him to leave the dog alone. And there’s good reason why everyone should do the same whenever they witness animal cruelty. According to a PETA report, research in psychology and criminology shows that people who commit acts of cruelty to animals don’t stop there — many of them move on to their fellow humans. “Murderers … very often start out by killing and torturing animals as kids,” says Robert K. Ressler, who developed profiles of serial killers for the FBI. If nothing else, stop cruelty against animals for the safety of your children.

Be kind, switch on the TV

I consider myself a friend of the animal kingdom, but it took my brother to point out that I was indulging in mild levels of animal cruelty when, as a teenager, I was teaching my dog to do a handshake. His words stayed with me, “Why would you want a dog to shake your hand? It’s unnatural.” As a child, I loved the circus. It never crossed my mind that it is nothing but an animal prison. Circuses constantly travel from city to city. The animals, most of whom are quite large and naturally active, are forced to spend most of their lives in the cramped cages used to transport them, where they have barely enough room to stand. At a circus, children see wild animals walking a tightrope or jumping through fire. That is not natural animal behaviour. Shun the circus and show your children Animal Planet, where they can see these magnificent beasts in their natural habitat.

Make a point

So, the next time you buy a dress for your dog or those so-cute gum boots for him to wear while walking in the street, please realise it is fun only for you. Not the animal. And a plea to our actors: When you visit your star-struck ‘friends’ in Dubai who keep lions, tigers and leopards as pets in tiny cages on their property, request them to send those animals to a zoo. Hope celebrity PETA ambassadors John Abraham and Jacqueline Fernandez are listening.