Remember the good ole days when the craziest thing you'd ever heard of was two fancy lads residing together in a seaside cottage in Nantucket? Yeah, those days are long gone. Since locking up the gay vote achieving marriage equality, leftists now find being fabulous boring and have moved on to stranger pastures. First came trans-genders. Then came trans-species. Now, there's this guy...

A man has spent $50,000 (£40,000) on plastic surgery to become an alien - and could soon have his genitalia removed. Vinny Ohh, 22, from Los Angeles in California, has had over 110 procedures to transform into a 'genderless' extra-terrestrial. The make-up artist believes he's neither male nor female and so his extreme look is a way to mirror how he feels inside. He started with lip fillers at the age of 17, before having two rhinoplasties, multiple cheeks and brow bone fillers and more. The part-time model also wears large blackened contact lenses, alien like talons and unusual hair dye colours. Now he plans to fork out another $160,000 (£130,000) on surgery to have his genitalia, nipples and bellybutton removed. 'When people ask me how I'd label myself, I tell them an "extra-terrestrial, hot mess, self-obsessed" it's becoming my slogan.'

Narcissistic leftist hipsterdom has infected society so deeply, now being human is considered too mainstream. In another five years, ending planetism and cis-earthling privilege will be the leftist rallying cries. Give the progressives what they want and they'll waddle right back with a new made-up grievance. I would invoke the "if you give a mouse a cookie" argument, but it would be a slap in the snout to mice, comparing them to leftists.

Heck, it's now looking like cracking jokes about "E.T, phone home" will trigger some mental breakdown in clearly crazy blokes like Vinny Ohh. I'm just wondering where he got all the fat stacks to shell out for this procedure. But maybe it was transported via beams of light up into his Battlestar. Vader finds such things disturbing.

I'm aware I mixed SciFi metaphors there. If that's your big takeaway from this article, you're not from this planet. But if it's socially acceptable for a grown man to think he's a little girl, why isn't it acceptable for a man to think he's a genderless alien? Who are you to judge? Once the line of reason is vaporized by phasers set to kill, it's impossible to tractor beam reason back in.

You know we've gone off the deep end when "dragon ladies" seem sane by comparison...

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