NSW Police Assistant Commissioner Mark Murdoch said the number of young people appearing before a Children's Court on domestic violence offences, in which the complainant is a parent, was growing. "In fact, this trend is increasing at a rate greater than any other age group," he said. "The reasons for this are unclear, however it is obvious parents are becoming more inclined to seek protection from their violent children through the courts than ever before." Youth workers across eight of UnitingCare's services were so alarmed by the trend that the community services provider has undertaken landmark research to understand why parents are taking such desperate measures. Principal researcher Natalie Scerra said preliminary findings revealed that some parents felt an AVO was a last resort but others were using them to "manage behaviours that are considered quite normal when you're making that transition from adolescence to adulthood". "That's not to say that violence hadn't occurred at some stage but parents were often utilising the conditions of an AVO when they were struggling to discipline the child," Dr Scerra said. "Parents were using it as an ultimatum, saying 'we'll call the police if you don't do this'."

About three AVOs are taken out every day against children. However, the overall number of youth AVOs state-wide has decreased by about 10 per cent each year since 2009, despite increases of up to 300 per cent in some areas such as Coffs Harbour and Dubbo. AVO breaches by children have increased by 19 per cent – from 510 to 607 – over the same period.

Domestic assaults perpetrated by children have also sky-rocketed, by more than 50 per cent – from 682 to 1343 — in the past decade. The executive director of the Victims of Crime Assistance League, said parents were struggling to deal with a generation of children who do not obey authority and think violence is acceptable. "It's very easy to say it's just a lower socio-economic group, but often it's older parents who simply don't have the physical strength to stand up to a big 15-year-old son or an out-of-control daughter," she said. "You can't tell a teenager what to do any more. If they don't want to do it, they don't have to."

She has called for domestic violence lessons to be introduced as early as primary school. However, Jane Sanders, principal solicitor for the Shopfront Youth Legal Service, said sometimes parents needed to "pull their heads in". "You're criminalising a kid for what is a behavioural issue and what could be managed differently," she said. "If you get an experienced magistrate who is good at dealing with these situations, often they have the effect of getting parents to pull their heads in a bit and realise an AVO is maybe not the way to go about it." Dr Scerra, who has presented her research at a University of Sydney Institute of Criminology conference, said there was little evidence that AVOs helped naughty children.



"They're set up to fail with a piece of paper that tells them what not to do but no skills or support to fix some of the problems," she said. "Often there's a lot of domestic violence at home and the young person's behaviour is just mirroring what they're experiencing." Assistant Commissioner Murdoch said AVOs were rarely the best option. "[But] equally, police know that for many parents an AVO is their last option, for clearly parents will do just anything to keep their children out of the courts." Domestic AVOs force a person to stay away from another person but usually contain no other orders.

A practice note issued by the NSW Children's Court in 2012 stipulated that magistrates should ask whether the young person is prepared to enter into counselling or whether other services or remedies can be used to address the issue. MOTHER FORCED TO TAKE 'HARD APPROACH' Christine* had no option but to take out an AVO against her daughter recently when the 13-year-old kicked her in the leg outside a police station, breaking her shin bone. It was a culmination of two hellish years of teenage rebellion. The 43-year-old mother, who cannot be identified for legal reasons, said she had tried every "soft option" under the sun to discipline her daughter.

Christine, a florist, and her former husband, a financial trader, doted on their two daughters and put them through a Catholic school, however when their youngest reached high school, something changed. "She had this 'try to prove yourself' attitude and her whole personality changed," she said. She started being abusive to her parents, breaking things around the house, sneaking out at night, causing trouble at school and having severe tantrums. It escalated to the point where Christine's daughter assaulted a police officer, leaving police with no choice but to commence legal action. On another occasion, she kicked Christine in the shin and broke her bone.

"I have done everything," Christine said. "I've read up on everything, I've spoken to other parents, I've joined social networks, I've asked for help from every organisation under the sun, I've tried to sit her down and talk to her, and nothing has worked. Everything is like a brick wall." The AVO means her daughter is free to stay in the family home as long as she doesn't assault, abuse or harass Christine.

"It's devastating," she said. "You think your kids will grow up and you'll have first boyfriends and 21st and marriages. You don't think they'll be assaulting you and using drugs. No one wants this for their kid but they just get away with anything." "I've tried the soft approach and now I'm taking the hard approach to tell her that I'm not accepting it any more. I have to take a stand." Loading

*Name has been changed to protect identity. Correction: An earlier version said that Christine's daughter was not able to stay in the family home.