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When the government announced its flagship 30 hours free childcare scheme I felt like I had won the lottery. It was only when I read the fine print of the government’s golden ticket that I realised it's more like a dodgy loan.

I had just had my first baby in early 2015 when this huge boost for working parents was announced. Having checked out the fees being charged by our local nurseries (£55 seemed to be the absolute minimum daily rate) I was freaking out about how the hell we could afford to send our baby to a nursery we actually liked, pay our household bills and find money to do other essential things, like eat.

Yes, I thought, here was a scheme that promised to help us working parents in a far more significant way than other schemes. Let's face it, the childcare vouchers which I claim (a whopping £243 a month) hardly scratch the surface of a full-time nursery bill.

Plus that money is mine anyway, it's just scraped off of my salary before tax. It's the kind of helping hand that you take because you need it, but you feel like it's repeatedly slapping you in the face while keeping you out of a financial black hole.

But 30 hours free a week! Wow, that would pay for three days of nursery, meaning we only had to find the money for two days a week once I went back to work. Amazing, I thought.

Then I had baby number two just 21 months later, and was even more relieved to have financial help with the childcare bill.

But then you read further into it, and as with many incredible offers in life, like those ones that promise you £250million if you send £250 to this account right now, it was too good to be true.

Because it's not 30 hours of free childcare a week. It comes with a few catches.

For one, many aren't eligible for the scheme until their child is three - some can claim for two-year-olds if they receive certain benefits. Then, once your child turns three you have to wait until the next new school term (I have no idea why school term dates come into childcare for kids that don't have school holidays) to begin claiming.

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The other catch is it's not 30 hours a week all year round. They don't pay out during school holidays. Again, I'm not sure how not providing funding for childcare during school holidays is helping working parents, who don't get anything more than 28 days off a year.

And just to cap that off, our nursery limits the number of free hours per day at eight. The other two hours of the day cost £24.60.

So what's the reality of free childcare? It's actually 24 hours free per week for 47.5 weeks of the year.

And, even worse than that, it doesn't begin until your child is two at the absolute earliest (for most parents it will be more than a year later than that). And yet our employers are expecting us back in the office after a year of maternity leave at the absolute maximum.

So how is this creating work that works? How is this scheme supporting those families who dared to have a child while hoping they could return to work without remortgaging the house in the process?

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And what will be most telling over the coming year will be how the childcare providers cope with the financial burden.

Because this isn't about them going to their underground vault packed with gold and plugging the shortfall from there. It's not about the government transferring X amount to cover X losses.

It's actually leaving them out of pocket because the government funding for the scheme is far too low to cover the costs. Today it was announced nurseries are making up losses by upping fees for younger children and charging for meals and nappies, a survey of 1,662 providers found.

The survey, by the Pre-School Learning Alliance , suggests only a third are delivering the hours totally free.

So who ends up paying to cover the shortfall? The parents - because we’re so flush with cash already despite all the nappies, endless replacement clothes, and that not so small matter of keeping a roof over our heads.

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Our nursery generally sends the bad news of how much prices are going up by every spring. It's normally about £2 per day.

Who knows what it will be this year, but as someone with two kids in nursery, I'm nervous. And they're not even attending five days a week.

Come April, although my eldest will be receiving some discounted childcare, I'm likely to be paying more for my youngest’s hours. She's only just turned one, so I've got two years to wait until I get any additional help to pay for her bill.

Imagine how parents who have no family to rely on for help with childcare are feeling? Probably hiding under their desk at work with a stiff drink while contemplating reading up on the company’s flexible working policy.

So what's my monthly childcare bill for two kids for three days a week? Are you sitting down? It's £1,900 a month. Yep. There was some colourful language expressed in our house too.

Let me emphasise at this point that I adore our children's nursery and the people in it. I'm so happy with the environment I would carry on paying through the nose for it until we were down to our last slightly stale cracker.

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But I'm furious that for all of the bluster our government dishes out left, right and centre about wanting to encourage people to work and ensure equality for women in the workplace, we are still seeing new mums give up a career they love because the numbers just don't add up.

I'm furious that this scheme was presented to parents in such a dishonest fashion. Don't call it 30 hours free a week please, it's just insulting and leaves a bad taste in the mouth when you realise it's not.

As for me, I'm taking a deep breath until April when our three-year-old’s “30 hours” (*rolls eyes skyward*) kicks in.

But Mrs May, don't expect me to feel grateful for this generous discount when it finally arrives. I know I'll be paying for it eventually.