(From Reddit r/relationshipadvice)

I am a 30(m) she is 28. We met on a dating website, which was kind of weird for me in the beginning because I just had never seen myself getting into a long term relationship from a dating website, but over the 7 or so months we’ve been dating I couldn’t have cared less how we met and fell head over heels in love with her.

Internet dating is a haven for the unwanted, the insecure and the needy. I’ll call this guy Jimmy. Jimmy wanted to get laid, but ended up being roped in by an attractive girl. Nothing wrong with that. He’s head over heels in love.

Things moved quick and I confessed how I felt and she was happy to be in love with me too. She is the first girl I have actually enjoyed spending time with, and could see myself marrying.

This is probably because he hasn’t been with many hot women. A man of sexual experience rarely falls, “Head over heels,” over any woman, no matter how beautiful. Because head over heels behaviour is usually displayed as affection, with the best of intention, but ultimately betrays loneliness, desperation, neediness and insecurity. The Alpha male keeps his emotions in check, and let’s the woman do the fawning and doubting.

We began staying over at each others houses for longer periods of time, meeting family and friends, and discussing our future as couple, marriage, kids etc.

Do your best to prolong meeting the parents, or discussing long term commitment. This offers the woman a challenge, and gives you room to get to know her real personality, which will only be revealed after about two years in. Before two years, she will still be on her best behaviour, and she will keep her past well hidden, as with this case.

Everything is going perfect and I am extremely happy until a few days ago while we are out to dinner and she casually mentions how “promiscuous” she was in her past, and the boy crazy lifestyle she had lived. I was caught off guard and asked for the number of guys shes slept with to get a response of “don’t ask that” and “there’s no way I know for sure. It’s a lot” I start throwing out numbers and estimates to try and get a ball park and I’m starting to see it’s double, maybe triple the amount of partners I’ve had. The conversation ends. She can see I’m visibly shaken up by the whole conversation and we don’t talk much at all the rest of the night.

So Jimmy has a madonna-whore complex, and his sweetheart is an ex party-girl. It’s a classic. Hot girl parties and fucks around with bad-boys and players in her early twenties. As she ages, she notices her beauty fading, and the biological clock ticking. Friends and family begin to pressure her to marry. She gets online and finds a nice, beta-male provider who, “Falls head over heels in love,” with her. Her years of slutting around have given her amazing seduction skills, and it’s not long before he is on bended knee, offering up a ring. Mission accomplished. Then she fesses up and Jimmy’s vision of his precious Virgin is replaced with visions of her being spit-roasted by Football players. He is also jealous she had a promiscuous past full of adventure and fucking, which he sadly, has missed out on.

Now I feel like I’ve lost something for her. I’m questioning whether this is someone I really do want a future with, and even contemplating breaking it off. Am I an asshole?

No, you’re a beta.

I really was extremely happy and thought I had found the one and now I am not so sure. I’m sick to my stomach thinking about her past “experiences” and don’t want to have sex with her anymore because I feel like it will just remind me of this awful feeling.

Yep, Madonna-whore complex. There is no, “One,” and never will be. There will only be domestication and compromise. She will get fat, you will fall out of love but stay together for the kids, and you’ll stop having sex. This will happen within four years. Then you will get fat, and if she’s not cheating on you, you will find a younger, equally fucked up woman, probably off the Internet, and get a divorce. Or she will catch you cheating and take half of everything you’ve earned.

This really sucks. I know the past is the past, and the future is what matters but how can I get over it if it bothers me so much? Should it bother me? Does her past at all suggest infidelity in the future? I feel like everything we had is ruined and I wish I had never heard that from her. I don’t want to talk to my family or friends about it because I am ashamed. Any advice to help me move on? Is it possible? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Please help.

Jimmy should be ashamed. Jimmy needs to learn game. He’s thirty years old, in his prime. He hasn’t been with more than a small handful of women, and doesn’t understand their psychology. If he wants a naïve good-girl, he should practice pickup for a few years, gain some notches and then pluck a good-girl from the suburbs, or the Ukraine. Sorry Jimmy, your wife has an agenda, but she fucked up. She is so used to you listening intently to all of her stories and woes, she didn’t figure her slutty past would bother you. But it did. Good luck.