You don’t know DCI John Barnaby? Younger cousin of Tom, in the same line of work, took over from him in England’s deadliest county about six seasons ago? As Midsomer Murders begins, somewhat inconceivably, its 20th season, it is easy to forget that the professional partnership of John Nettles’ Barnaby and fresh-faced naif Troy are no longer the beating heart of the show – not least because there are always reruns playing on the telly. But in the 22 years since its first episode aired on ITV, everyone who’s anyone in British TV has done their time in Great Britain’s murder hotspot. (Make that anyone white. It “wouldn’t be the English village” if there were “ethnic minorities involved”, said the show’s co creator, Brian True-May, in 2011.)

Henry Cavill

Henry Cavill on Midsomer Murders.

Before he was Superman he was Simon Mayfield, an overconfident young man in need of a haircut. He appears in a 2003 episode, The Green Man, alongside David Bradley, who played Argus Filch in the Harry Potter films and a Filch-type character in Broadchurch and in this episode is playing a Filch-type character who disturbs Mayfield mid-coitus in the woods. A confrontation is prevented when Cavill is bitten by a passing fox.

Orlando Bloom

Famous faces on Midsomer Murders.

In 2000’s Judgement Day, Bloom plays Peter Drinkwater, a womanising thief at risk of thwarting Midsomer Mallow’s chances in the “perfect village” competition. “If only I could have killed Orlando Bloom for real, just think of how many bad films I might have saved the world from,” said the series writer Anthony Horowitz, rather unkindly, in a 2006 special. As it was, he made do with sticking a pitchfork in Bloom’s chest very early in.

Emily Mortimer

The Midsomer Murders pilot.

The pilot episode, The Killings at Badger’s Drift, has it all: a body count of seven, a creepy mother and son and an incest twist – but not the incest twist you expect. (No apologies for spoilers: it’s 22 years old this month.) Mortimer’s character Katherine Lacey killed four people to keep her sexual relationship with her artist brother secret. He is played by Jonathan Firth, a “charismatic and elegant actor unfairly best known” as the younger brother of Colin, according to his IMDb profile. (Did Jonathan write this himself …?)

Colin Farrell … but not THAT Colin Farrell

The Irish heart-throb is often said to have played Ken Beavers, a convicted brothel keeper, in 1999’s Death In Disguise. In fact, it was Colin Farrell (II), born 1938, who also appeared in 1982’s Gandhi. No Midsomer Murders seems an oversight on Colin Farrell (I)’s part.

Martine McCutcheon

Martine McCutcheon on Midsomer Murders.

McCutcheon plays Debbie Moffett, who gets crushed to death by a giant round of cheese amid secret and controversial plans to modernise the dairy behind the world-famous Midsomer Blue. Nettles has called Midsomer Murders a comedy-drama: “At its best, it has a kind of surreal lunacy to it.” This episode fits that description. Fleabag’s sister, Sian Clifford, also stars.

Peter Capaldi

Laurence Barker, the overbearing conductor Capaldi plays in the 2006 episode Death in Chorus, is unlikely to rank among Malcolm Tucker and the 12th Doctor in his oeuvre – but he does tightly wound well. Capaldi’s character, blinded by his rivalry with Aston Wherry as a village competition looms, accuses John Shrapnel’s Leo of singing a semi-tone flat; Leo disagrees – death, naturally, ensues.

Olivia Colman

Before she was Queen Anne or Ellie Miller – but about the same time as she was Sophie in Peep Show – Academy Award-winner Colman was the childlike murderer Bernice in 2009’s Small Mercies. That’s the one where the body of the local ladies’ man is found in the model village, tied to the ground like Gulliver, if that jogs your memory.

Robert Hardy

Robert Hardy on Midsomer Murders.

In 1999’s Dead Man’s Eleven – full of “high-camp comic performances”, says Nettles – a high-stakes, intervillage cricket match looms; obviously, a bat is used as a murder weapon. All Creatures Great and Small’s Hardy is the captain of the Fletcher’s Cross team, and reacts to the tragic news about his wife with a “degree of expressiveness that is … quite, quite extraordinary,” says Nettles. Imelda Staunton plays the wife in a suspiciously well-off, born-again Christian couple.

Tim McInnerny

Tim McInnerny on Midsomer Murders.

In 2010’s The Sword of Guillaume, the Causton chamber of commerce takes a bus trip to Brighton, and Blackadder’s McInnerny is decapitated on a ghost train by a serial killer with an ancient sword. A classic; Coronation Street’s Brian Capron also stars (but escapes decapitation).

Honor Blackman

Honor Blackman on Midsomer Murders.

From The Avengers’ Cathy Gale and Pussy Galore in Goldfinger, Blackman went to play the vivacious widow Isobel Hewitt in 2003’s A Talent For Life – although she doesn’t last long. After a memorable roadside picnic during a storm, Hewitt is clubbed to death with a large wooden stake. Nettles has singled this episode out for being “very bizarre”, on the basis of Blackman’s character’s having a much younger boyfriend – “a hugely unlikely relationship”, said Nettles. That, in a series where people are killed by wheels of cheese. You wonder if, after 13 seasons, Nettles might have been in Midsomer too long.