(Ed. Note: As we're all hitting the beach or going poolside in the coming weeks, there are no doubt hockey books lined up on your shelf or on your Kindle. Philip Painter, director of the Puerto Rican Ice Hockey Federation and a puckhead bookworm, was kind enough to offer his off-the-radar alternatives to the usual hockey bibliography. Here is Phil's 'dirty dozen' of hockey books.)

By Philip Painter

As I write this I'm sitting on the beach … well, alright, I live in the tropics so I sit on the beach every day, so that's not the point. The point is that the hockey season feels like it's really, truly over. Time to go cold turkey on your hockey jones, you say? Au contraire, say I. Now is the time to get your hockey beach read on.

There are some great hockey writers that have written some great books. This will not be that list. This list will be the sauciest-raunchiest sex-crime laden dysfunctional hockey books that have gone relatively un-noticed, written by some of literatures finest award-winning craftsmen.

These are the books your girlfriend/wife will want to swap you the new Cosmo for, so you can get a few sex pointers from Sarah J. Parker — I believe this is called "getting your Avery on."

As added bonuses, three of these have been adapted into seldom seen movies, so with a little searching, these titles should be able to keep your jones on an IV drip until preseason.

So grab your sunscreen, a full cooler and get the boom box to crank your summertime hits; and settle into the lurid world of hockey as seen from these strange outside perspectives.

Some are available digitally and some are available at on-line bookstores and EBay. In no particular order here they are. Your starting six. Enjoy!

"Amazons: An Intimate Memoir by the First Woman Ever to Play in the National Hockey League" By Cleo Birdwell (1980)

This was the literary world's worst kept secret for years. Cleo Birdwell was the Nom de Plume of none other than National Book Award winner Don DeLillo (White Noise, Libra and Mao 2 among a dozen other best selling titles).

Delillo knows his sports as evidenced from his book/movie Game Six, an irreverent look at the Sox —Mets milestone 1986 World Series. So what made him tackle this theme? It was a full decade before Manon Rheaume, whose auto-bio (Alone in Front of the Net) is far too pale too makes this list, unfortunately, and Delillo has Cleo as a hard hitting New York Ranger while the team is under Saudi ownership.

Cleo also happens to be gorgeous and has everyone wanting a piece of her. Fortunately, she obliges all of them while secretly sheltering her ex-teammate, who is suffering from "Jumping Frenchman's disease" (A true ailment no less) in her Manhattan townhome.

While she has no limits in her sexual voraciousness she does have qualms about being the spokesperson for Amazons — the first snack made just for women.

Delillo nails 1980 topics like the European invasion and expansion into questionable markets, as well as foretelling the future of questionable ownership policies. Hers is being requested to wear a veil while patrolling the blue line as not to offend her bed-checking, panty-stealing Muslim owners, all the while in a late season push for the playoffs.

The hockey is spot on, the sex is often and quite graphic, and the social satire is crafted as only a master like Delillo can handle so deftly. This book has the most disturbing use of a credit card in print.

Finding a copy of this can be tricky as Delillo refused to do a second printing and some hardbacks can be quite pricy. Find this book; it's worth it.

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