In case you missed it, Australia and the world has been losing it’s mind over avocados for a couple of years now. People have blamed avocado on toast for young people not being able to buy houses, and at one point they were so in demand their price skyrocketed.

Now in a wild turn of events, a similar situation is happening in New Zealand, however their public is reacting in a very different way. SBS reports that Kiwis have taken to robbing Avocado orchards in attempts to make money off the current rising price of the fruit.

Because of biosecurity laws, New Zealand doesn’t import any avos, and recent poor harvests have left a massive demand. There’s even waitlists for avo trees at garden centres! Many cunning citizens have decided that the easiest way around these problems is to go into orchards and take the avocados for themselves.

The coordinator of community policing, Alasdair McMillan told SBS two thieves were caught with duvet covers filled with $6000 worth of avocados each. Whilst one farmer has reported that 70% of his avos were stolen.

Who is stealing the avocados?

There’s been a lot of talk about who is taking the avos, McMillan was quick to mention that the quantities being stolen point towards thieves looking to profit off the stolen goods. He even compared it to people caught with marijuana in their possession because… why not?

“It’s not like cannabis where people can say it was for their own personal use… It’s clearly not for their own consumption… You can only put so much avocado on your burger or in your sushi.”

As for the culprits, there are many. One duo of thieves that were caught red handed however were described as elderly gentlemen, even fled on a mobility scooter. What an icon.

Further research online found no traces to the NZ avocado black market, however I have reached out to my grandmother to see if any of her mates have heard anything. She has not responded thus far, however she does play bridge on a Thursday afternoon.

If you have heard anything about underground avocado trading, or even produce stores operating as avocado speakeasies, please contact the writer: [email protected]

Watch: Dr. Jean’s “Guacamole Song”