Got a scoop request? An anonymous tip you’re dying to share? Just want to say hi? Send any/all of the above to askausiello@tvline.com

Question: Why are you so amazing? Seriously, why? Moving on… Do you know anything about where Dan and Blair go in the next episode of Gossip Girl? —Julia

Ausiello: You know what flattery will get you, Julia? An answer to your question and an exclusive first look at Monday’s Dair-tastic episode! So here’s the deal: Dan whisks Blair off to the airport, where, as you can see, he offers her both a literal and figurative shoulder to cry on. And if you think the picture below is off the charts adorable, just wait until you see the other six images from the episode. In possibly related news, I strongly — strongly — urge you to click here now.

Question: In your Renewal Scorecard, why did you list Gossip Girl as “a sure thing” when every other website says it’s “on the bubble”? —Marie

Ausiello: Maybe the other outlets skipped the 100th-episode press conference last week, during which EP Stephanie Savage said, “We’re not writing a series finale this year. We’ve checked in with our bosses to make sure we’re not shooting ourselves in the foot.” Not a lot of ambiguity in that statement.

Question: Any scoop about Desperate Housewives? It’s been a long time! —Julien

Ausiello: Someone’s getting the frak out of dodge (a.k.a. Wisteria Lane), and that someone is featured at the center of that purty montage atop this week’s column. The gist: Orson invites a downward-spiraling Bree to pack up her things and move away with him to the Maine coastline — and the boozehound accepts! How long she ends up staying away is another question entirely.

Question: Any idea how long Jason Lee is going to stick around on Up All Night? I love having him on my television again. —Tabitha

Ausiello: I imagine producers will want to keep him around at least long enough to meet Ava’s (Maya Rudolph) lovable, fun father, who will be introduced in a spring episode. Pops apparently has a new young family, including a wife who’s the same age (if not younger) than Ava.

Spoiler Alert Web Series Debut: Scoop on Once Upon a Time, Glee, Community and More!

Question: Have we seen the last of Dana on The Good Wife? I feel like maybe there’s some unfinished business between her and Cary in the wake of Sunday’s (unbelievably awesome) episode. —Joy

Ausiello: There is unfinished business, all of it rather awkward. Her involvement in the Wendy Scott-Carr debacle lands her a demotion, and Cary’s the one tasked with breaking the news to her. And you know that little affair those two crazy kids had in the fall? Well, Peter finds out about it and he is not happy. In other Good news, Alicia’s green-eyed monster rears its ugly head at work when young, eager upstart Caitlin starts to prove herself a little too indispensable.

Question: According to my Netflix instant watching log, it took me exactly two weeks to watch every episode of How I Met Your Mother‘s first six seasons. If that doesn’t get me some spoilers, I don’t know what does. —Stef

Ausiello: Please tell me you showered between seasons. Or at least changed your underoos once or twice. On second thought, don’t say anything; just shut up and listen: The HIMYM series finale will likely feature “the most awkward transition in series television” when Josh Radnor assumes narrator duties from Bob Saget, says exec producer Craig Thomas, who confirms that viewers “are going to see Josh in some makeup” since the baton passing would be set far into the future. “When I watched the end of the last Harry Potter [movie] I had such respect for what a problem that was to just jump ahead and look so much older,” recalls Thomas, “[because] we might be staring into the barrel of a makeup situation at some point.”

Question: Inquiring minds want to know — who the hell are you playing in the Cougar Town finale? —Missi

Ausiello: A *a*****er. Kind of appropriate, dontcha think?

Question: While on the Cougar Town set last week, did you gather any intel about whether the [SPOILER] goes off without a hitch? —Caren

Ausiello: Curiously, the script they gave me was missing a few very important pages, so I actually don’t know if the [SPOILER] takes place. I can, however, tell you that before the episode is over Dan Byrd will get completely naked and yours truly will be playing a *a*****er.

Question: If you give me some Vampire Diaries scoop, I’ll send Courteney Cox back through time to do your make-up and sculpt your lashes again. —Juan

Ausiello: Deal. On Diaries, a recurring male character’s days are numbered.

Question: Rumor has it that Vampire Diaries’ Damon is going to make sexy time with someone whose name is not Elena. Any idea who? —Jill

Ausiello: I have a very good idea who (read: I know, silly), but my lips are zipped. This much I can share: His shag partner is female, she packs a bite, and the encounter is, ahem, rough.

Question: Just when I couldn’t love Cougar Town more, the show casts David Arquette in the finale. Any other details, aside from him playing a concierge? —A.J.

Ausiello: Funny story: Right after Cox butchered sculpted my brows in the makeup trailer, we went outside and I asked her exactly that — and I have video evidence to prove it!

Loading video...

Question: Parks and Recreation is my favorite show, so is it wrong of me that I don’t want Leslie to win the election? It seems like it will completely ruin the snow and separate the characters. After all, it’s called Parks and Recreation! —Sara

Ausiello: Would it make you feel better if I told you the odds of her winning went from 50/50 to 1-in-4? That’s right, Paul Rudd’s Bobby Newport isn’t her only competition in the race for city council. We’ll learn in an upcoming debate-themed episode that Leslie is also up against a trigger-happy far-right local gun shop owner as well as local porn star Brandi Maxxx.

Question: What happened with Raj on 90210? Is he out of the series? We will see him again? —Dave

Ausiello: You will see him again, but probably not until May sweeps.

Question: I can’t wait for this week’s alt-reality episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Any additional scoop? —Brit

Ausiello: In this particular timeline, Arizona doesn’t date her co-workers (Callie is married to Owen), and she also doesn’t walk around wearing rose-colored glasses. “Arizona’s love life is not explained in any way shape or form,” reveals Jessica Capshaw of Thursday’s unorthodox outing. “You don’t know if she’s with someone or if she’s not. You don’t know anything about her, except that she is a doctor. But she’s a different kind of doctor in the sense that when she was first introduced it was all pink hearts and lots of superlatives. This is a much more serious, determined Arizona.”

Question: You got any good Meredith and Derek scoop for me from Grey’s Anatomy‘s Valentine’s episode? —Jessica

Ausiello: Not specifically, but Capshaw says the episode will take the temperature of all the show’s couples, thereby pointing out “where there’s an excess and where there might be a deficient amount of love.” She adds that the show’s writers likely had a field day because the occasion allowed them to “hit on every couple in terms of where they are in their relationship and on the spectrum of love.”

Question: Any idea who Ashley Jones of True Blood and The Bold and the Beautiful fame is playing on Private Practice? —Jacklyn

Ausiello: Her character, Dani, is a woman whose same-sex partner (played by Person of Interest‘s Tina Holmes) is pregnant with one of Dani’s eggs.

Question: You have anything on Hart of Dixie? I would love to see Zoe get together with Wade! —Muriel

Ausiello: So apparently would Wilson Bethel (a.k.a. Wade), who tells TVLine, “My sincere hope is that by the end of the season there will be something in store for the Zoe/Wade fans. In the meantime, Wade’s gonna have some personal growth. With Zoe he has to step his game up — but that doesn’t mean that he loses his Wadeness!” Bethel also confirms that Wade will get a new love interest that “will drive Zoe crazy.”

Question: There has been a shortage of Parenthood scoop in Ask Ausiello lately. Please share what you know! —Stephanie

Ausiello: There’s a wedding in the season finale, and I can confirm that it takes place at the Braverman compound.

Question: Any scoop on Tina Majorino’s return to Bones later this season? —Hillary

Ausiello: Agent Shaw resurfaces after Brennan gives birth, to once again assist Booth in the field. “We learn a little bit more about her in the episode,” previews exec producer Stephen Nathan, who says Majorino’s future on the show may be in jeopardy now that pilot season is upon us. “The reality is she’s going to get snatched up by somebody else.”

Question: Anything on Psych? Maybe about the marriage proposal that never happened? —Ginger

Ausiello: Shawn’s other significant other, Gus, discovers the ring in the Season 6.5 premiere on Feb. 28 and promptly confronts his BFF about it. Shawn shrugs the bling off as an “emergency ring” that’s only to be used if the perfect proposal moment should present itself. I also hear the episode ends with Shawn and Gus engaged in a hilariously epic slap-off.

Question: Your sleuthing skills are slacking! Where is Justin Chatwin on Shameless and why haven’t you told us when he is coming back? Give us something, anything, please?!?! —Christina

Ausiello: Stop yelling at me! Steve returns in Sunday’s episode, but he won’t be sticking around for long — at least not in his current incarnation. “By the end of the season, in the scripts, he’s no longer referred to as Steve,” reveals executive producer John Wells. Adds Chatwin: “We go back to me being Jimmy.”

That’s a wrap! Please send questions, comments, and anonymous tips to askausiello@tvline.com. (Additional reporting by Megan Masters, Vlada Gelman and Alyse Whitney)