After a long hiatus – I’m back. Before I go on I want to disclose a few things. First and foremost, and I’m sure this will not come as a surprise, I lean pretty far to the left. Second, I am a man. Third, I work with teenage girls. Most of the girls that I work with have either been witness to or subjected to experiences that I would not wish on anyone.

I’ve tried to write on this subject a great number of times only to later delete my would-be post in favor of silence. Each time that I’ve set out to construct a well thought out and meaningful argument it quickly snowballs into hate and vitriol. So I’ve settled on writing a open letter to Mr. Akin.

Dear Mr. Akin,

I don’t hate you, but you have to understand that I’m upset. I’m so angry that it has taken me ten days to get to a place where I feel comfortable writing about your incident without feeling the need to curse like a sailor. You see, even though I am a man, I work with victims of rape. As a result, I see the way that rape effects people on a day-to-day basis. Thankfully, the women that I work with are so young that they have no idea what you said so they have been spared from certain pain. I’m sure that if you could have foresaw in advance all the hurt and pain that you have caused the victims of rape you would have never uttered the words:

“…if it’s legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

But the fact remains that you did utter these words and, as a result, you’ve hurt a great number of people. For example in 2009 , out of every 1,000 people there were 88.1 forcible rapes. 88 people were brutally victimized and subjected the the whims of another. This is to say nothing of the instances of rape that went unreported due to fear, shame, or intimidation. A 1992 study found that 70-84% of rapes are not reported to law enforcement. Again, this is to say nothing of instances of statutory rape that were not counted in the statistical category of “forcible” rape. These numbers represent the women that you’ve hurt. To accept your line of logic means to accept the tacit belief that legitimate rape is defined by it’s opposite, illegitimate rape. Accepting your line of reasoning also means bifurcating rape victims’ experiences into two separate classes, legitimate and illegitimate. I can assure you that there is no such thing as illegitimate pain

And though you’ve apologized

“In reviewing my off-the-cuff remarks, it’s clear that I misspoke in this interview and it does not reflect the deep empathy I hold for the thousands of women who are raped and abused every year,”

And later amended your apology

“What I said was ill-conceived, and it was wrong,” and “I really just want to apologize to those that I’ve hurt.”

You can’t undo all the hurt and pain you’ve caused by issuing a half-hearted apology. Once those words left your mouth there was little that you could do to stop their effects. Hopefully, neither you nor I will ever have to experience rape first hand. Thankfully, neither you nor I will ever have to experience the agony of having to decide what to do with a pregnancy as a result of rape. Thankfully, neither you nor I will have our bodies dictate what we can and cannot do because of a piece of legislation. No one should. Because you have not experienced rape you cannot express empathy. Sympathy maybe, but not empathy as empathy is born out of a common experience. So while I applaud your apologies, I’d be more likely to believe that your apology was sincere if your voting record didn’t illustrate a continual war against women. HR 3 – Prohibiting Taxpayer Abortion HR 2752 – Prohibits any funds appropriated for carrying out federal family planning programs from being made available to any family planning project HR 649 – Ultrasound Informed Consent Act HR 5276: The Unborn Child Pain Awareness Act of 2010 I understand that it is easy to sit in your office and think about these bills in an abstract manner. I do. It can be altogether far too easy to write about things outside of your experience because you are unencumbered by the subtle nuances found in data and stories. Even though the polls show that you are neck and neck with your opponent, I urge you to make time to talk with victims of rape. Listen to their stories without adding in your own two cents. Try, if just for a moment, to place yourself in their shoes. Maybe then will you understand the full effect of your words. Maybe then you will begin understand that no matter how hard she tried to prevent a unwanted pregnancy, there was nothing she could do. Maybe then you will begin to understand the guilt and shame that many victims of rape live with daily. Maybe then you will begin to change your mind. If that doesn’t work, try talking with those of us who work with victims of rape daily. Ask us what we see. Ask us what we do. Ask us how successful we are. Maybe then you will begin to understand that the trauma or rape is not confined by the event itself. Maybe then you will begin to understand that victims of rape often relive the experience every day. Maybe then you will begin to understand why your comments and voting history is so hurtful. I urge you to take time out of your schedule to think through what you have done outside of the context of politics. Please, if you can, think about the women that your comment effected. Sincerely, A Concerned Citizen