Will Greenlee

will.greenlee@tcpalm.com

STUART — A belching shirtless woman who told a deputy he was the “sexiest thing” she’d seen was arrested after investigators say she was in a traffic crash, according to an affidavit.

When a Martin County Sheriff’s deputy arrived at the Nov. 24 crash in the area of Southeast Indian Street and Southeast Dixie Highway in Stuart, he noticed Jamie Schmude, 30, behind the wheel of the crashed four-door vehicle.

She had no shirt on, and her unbuttoned jeans were lowered to her thighs. The vehicle smelled of booze. Schmude slurred her words, mumbling incoherent sentences.

Martin County Fire Rescue workers took Schmude to a hospital and the deputy followed.

The deputy told Schmude he’d be conducting a DUI investigation and read Schmude her rights, which she said she understood “perfectly.”

She yelled and screamed at nurses and was “causing a big scene,” the affidavit states. After about 20 minutes of yelling, Schmude fell asleep.

She “woke up several times and belched loudly which emitted the very strong odor of alcohol,” the report states.

Schmude asked where she was. The deputy said she was at a hospital because of a car accident, and she said she was always getting into trouble.

She also said something else.

“You are the sexiest thing I’ve seen, I’m going to (engage in a highly sexual act with you),” Schmude, of Stuart, is quoted as telling the deputy.

She started biting her lower lip, moaning and staring at the deputy while thrusting her hand in an area where hands are not typically thrust in public.

“This act took place at least three times,” the affidavit states.

Arrested on a DUI charge, Schmude was taken to jail where she got upset and was described as “very belligerent and cocky.”

She said she’d imbibed “a lot” of Ciroc, a gluten-free vodka distilled from French grapes.

A breath test measured her blood alcohol content at 0.168 and 0.161, more than twice the legal limit of 0.08.

It’s unclear whether the deputy is sexy.