Fair warning: You are about to hate a guy named Craig Rowin. Maybe not hate, but you will absolutely resent him. Okay, you probably won’t resent him. But you will be extremely jealous and annoyed with yourself that you didn’t think of this. Actually, you probably did think of this, but you thought, “Pssshhhhhht, this would never happen.” But today, New York comedian Craig Rowin is a one-millionaire. Because he asked for one million dollars. And he got it. No, really. This actually happened.

Update: Or not. It was all a hoax.

The video campaign has been going on since late November when Rowin, a sketch comedy performer who has been featured on Cracked, mtvU, and Atom (and was almost my sketch comedy teacher at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre), made a very simple request: give him one million dollars. A week later, he updated everyone on his progress and was told “make your own money four eyes.” His campaign was covered by an Alabama news outlet, and by mid-December, he was continuing his plea, this time reaching out to large corporations including Nike, Apple, and the company that makes Yu-Gi-Oh cards. He also rejected a check for five thousand dollars. Because he asked for one million dollars.

Well, just this week, Rowin posted the video above entitled “Please Give Me One Million Dollars – Success!” Because a millionaire named Benjamin has agreed to give Rowin a check for one million dollars. A guy asked for one million dollars, and then a millionaire thought to himself, “You know? I do have an extra million dollars. And what better person to give it to than this guy who asked for it?”

While many of us would like to take this opportunity to ask for one million dollars of our own, realize that this is a one-time occurrence. This will never happen again. Craig Rowin has beat all of us to this. While it would not be wrong to try to do this yourself, it would be rude. It would be rude to Craig, and it would make you look like a copycat. You would be the Ke$ha to Rowin’s Lady Gaga. And people generally think Ke$ha kinda sucks.

Craig Rowin will be holding an official check-handing ceremony at the UCB Theatre in New York on February 2 at 8:00 PM.

(The Daily What)

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