Mystery Science Theater 3000 is my favorite TV show of all time. I’ve never watched something that comforted me more. The last episode aired while I was in high school (I don’t acknowledge the Netflix facsimile) but I keep coming back to it. It’s a show that relies very heavily on reference humor, and those references are necessarily getting more and more dated over time, so I don’t know what the shelf life will be moving forward. But it’s as enjoyable as anything I’ve ever seen on TV.

I have a secret binder with my own personal 1-10 scale ratings of the episodes along with assorted commentary. I won’t bother to type all that out (and I’m still assigning rankings), but if you want something comprehensive you can read Paste’s rankings of every episode, which are on balance more right than wrong. Here I want to give you some recommendations for specific viewing scenarios. Let’s go.

Best Episode to Start Off With: Prince of Space

Certainly there are better episodes. But MST3K is a show to put on reflexively, a show to be appreciated not for its standout episodes (which are great) but for the strength of whatever random episode you happen across. (This is one of the reasons it’s a shame that it’s not broadcast on TV anymore, though the wide availability on Youtube is a great boon.) Prince of Space is my pick for a first episode precisely because it does not stand out; it plays out like very many other episodes, and delightfully so. It’s the kind of sci fi B-movie that many people think of when they think of MST3K, just a particularly bravura example. In particular, the movie has a kind of manic sincerity that matches perfectly with the show’s tone. The movie is ridiculous but never knowingly so, taking its various absurdities so seriously that you can’t help but admire it as you laugh along with Mike and the robots. This is the most emblematic example of the archetypal MST3K episode and thus the perfect way to get in on the ground floor.

Best Episode for a Lazy Afternoon: Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

There are episodes that I think are better and episodes that are funnier but I don’t think I have more affection for any episode. The whole enterprise is just so damn pleasant. The film is rife for riffing, and the boys connect, but in a gentle, laid back way. There’s a somnambulant quality to the movie; its story is mostly low-stakes, the actors all seem like they’ve been taking benzos, and the poor video quality gives everything a soft focus. Combine that with the style of the budget special effects and it’s like a chillwave song turned into a movie. Honestly probably the best time to watch this episode is right after you get your wisdom teeth out and you’re on a couple Vicodin. Just enjoy the warm bath feeling of this sweet, gentle, good-natured episode.

Best Episode if You’re Pressed for Time: Riding with Death

There are some episodes of MST3K where the “movie” is actually a couple episodes of a TV show stitched together, usually the first two of a series. (Whether it’s the people who made the show or the MST3K crew themselves who do the stitching has never been clear to me.) Usually this works out OK. Here’s an episode where it just doesn’t work; the jump in plot and tonal shift from the first episode to the second is so jarring that it just completely throws everything out of whack. This is a particular shame because I sincerely believe that the first half of Riding with Death is as good as the show has ever been. My rating for this episode is in fact a 10/3 - 10 for the first half, 3 for the second. I split my sides the first time I watched it, with the goofy banter, absurd plot contrivances, and villain’s obsession with his patent papers. Then I felt the energy get sucked out of me by the second half. So this is the perfect episode if you want to kill 45 minutes rather than an hour and a half. You’ll get just enough of peak MST3K and can safely skip the rest. Just stop watching when they suddenly are at a race track.

Best Episode(s) if You Have Time to Kill: Master Ninja I and Master Ninja II

Speaking of cobbling movies out of TV episodes, the two Master Ninja episodes of MST3K are probably the best example of it working well. I recommend you watch both back to back, as they really lend themselves to being view as a single piece. They showcase Joel at his best, for me. (I’m certainly more of a Mike man myself, but of course I love a lot of Joel episodes.) Something about the utter goofiness of the show’s protagonists and its plotlines matches up perfectly with Joel’s sensibility. And there’s just so much material here to mine, most prominently the total absurdity of the amazing combat acumen of our old, paunchy, white ninja. Our curly-haired hero also has an endearing annoyance to him, and I genuinely thrilled at his efforts to protect a union against evil bosses. Just a great way to spend three hours on the couch.

Episode Most in Need of Championing: Girls Town

The discussion of what episodes of the show are underrated or overrated are rarely fruitful. The claim that Manos is not as good as its reputation is certainly common enough that it undermines the idea that the episode is overrated, although I do count myself among those who don’t think it’s a classic. Everybody comes to Mystery Science Theater 3000 in their own way, and so everyone has an idiosyncratic sense of which episodes are in the canon. (I remember being surprised that more people didn’t think of Parts: The Clonus Horror as being a particularly notable episode, which I thought myself mostly because it was beloved by my brother and his high school friends.) All of this is a laborious way of saying that whether or not Girls Town is underrated, it strikes me as underwatched. That’s a shame, because there’s so much going for it. (I will say of Mamie van Doren’s appearance only that she is clearly a 10 in any time period.) It’s a provocative movie in its own right, helped by characters that cry out for the MST3K treatment - van Doren’s street tough protagonist, the bevy of 50s teenagers who play out our stereotypes of the time to a T. The boys give it a universally solid riffing that delivers some fireworks but generally lets the material do the talking. A great general purpose episode.

Best Episode to Get Stoned To: The Magic Sword

Some would tell you that the best episodes to smoke weed to are for the most bizarre movies, such as Santa Claus. I actually disagree. I’m going to recommend the Magic Sword, which is in many ways one of the most conventional MST3K episodes in terms of plot and basic movie making rhythms. What you want for a high viewing experience is not to have to think to deeply about what’s going on, so that you can easily follow along with the riffs and let them build up. This episode is perfect for that, with its fairly simple tale of boy-meets-girl, boy-goes-on-quest-to-save-girl. One of the things that happens with this show is that individual riffs that might only be slightly amusing on their own gradually accumulate and pile up, each one making the next seem a little funnier and a little funnier. That’s perfect for giggling along while you’re high, and the Magic Sword delivers in that respect, with Joel and the robots dispensing the kind of low-key but sharp gags the show made its name on. As a bonus, you might consider a double feature with this episode followed by the Rifftrax take on the same movie, which as of this writing is free on Amazon Prime.

Episode with My Favorite Riff Ever: Agent for H.A.R.M.

OK this one is hard because I don’t want to spoil any of the fun by getting too specific. The short little series of riffs I’m referring to here, to me, are perfect. Luckily the episode is well worth watching even aside from that one riff - let’s just say, think of the Kennedys on Martha’s Vineyard - and stands to me as the greatest spy film they did, which is a high bar. Our hero is a secret agent who looks and dresses more like a middle school vice principal, which makes the lecherousness that is a universal super spy trait come off even worse. His combat moves seem suitably geriatric. Great riffs that pop up over and over again in this one. Then everything is groovy, clicking along at a fast pace, and then we get to my favorite bit and I’m just done, I’m rolling in the aisles.

If You Just Want to Laugh Really, Really Hard: Werewolf

This, for me, is it, the pinnacle of the show, the peak. I think Werewolf is as good as it gets. I’m not sure if I’ve ever laughed harder at a piece of pop entertainment. This is a funny thing to say as a megafan of the show, but Mystery Science Theater 3000 is rarely laugh out loud funny for me. Oh, I guffaw at least a few times in every (non-season 1 or 2) episode. But it’s more a rolling, lazy, unhurried approach to comedy that I enjoy. It reminds me of Dr. Katz in that way. But Werewolf for me is nothing but big laughs, over and over. There is just so much there, from the low production values to the bizarre continuity errors to the permanent haze of mysterious accents. The plot, the actors, the direction, the effects… this one’s got it all. A masterpiece, truly. If you’ve never watched it, toss your cellphone away for a couple hours and watch it, closely. I promise you’ll be rewarded.

I could go on, but I’ll spare you. I love this show and I hope you do too.



(Yetiglanchi.)