Shalom Shekelberg

Israeli Jew News Time

August 3, 2014

An incomprehensible series of Explosions ripped across downtown Phoenix on Sunday, killing at least 3,509 people and injuring thousands more. The death toll surpassing that of 9/11 by several hundred, it is the biggest terrorist attack in the history of the United States.

This weekend saw the annual Quesidillia Festival, a Mexican holiday celebration, coincide with the city’s annual gay pride March. Ben Garrison, who is being blamed for the bombing, has expressed a desire to exterminate all Jews, homosexuals and other minorities, making the weekend ripe for an attack.

Following the bombing, police found copies of this flyer distributed among the ashes:

This marks the second major terrorist bombing by the Antisemitic and racist cartoonist “Zyklon” Ben Garrison in as many weeks, the rampage beginning after he hacked a CIA database in order to obtain the launch codes of Israel’s nuclear arsenal. Experts believe he is making his way toward the Jewish state, where he will detonate the bombs and kill millions of Jews.

This bombing counted ten times the casualties of last week’s massacre in Salt Lake City, where three synagogues and the Tupac Shaker African American Community Center were destroyed, and authorities are baffled as to how Garrison coordinated this tragedy which experts believe involved no less than sixty bombs composed of military-grade materials.

“I… I just don’t understand how it’s possible,” said the mayor of Phoenix, who is under fire for not having done more to prevent the attack. “We knew it was a likely target for Garrison, and we had the entire police force as well as the Arizona National Guard looking for traces of explosive materials.” He added, “I won’t take the fall for this. If the CIA and the Mossad can’t take down Garrison, how the hell am I supposed to do it?”

Brad Steinman, a gay man who lost his husband, their adopted 5-year-old Nigerian child and both of his arms and legs in the bombing, has been quoted as saying that he never imagined such a tragedy would happen to his family. “We were so happy, we thought the fairy tale would go on forever,” he said, weeping.

José Ramirez, a 52-year-old Mexican landscaper who was paralyzed from the neck down while in the middle of biting into a juicy taco, told Reuters that he mourned the loss of the use of his limbs, but expected his son, who is on a minority scholarship at MIT, would soon build him a robot body so that he can continue to eat tacos with his own two hands.

Mere hours after the bombings, with dust still settling, Garrison supporters took to the streets of Phoenix to celebrate. Police initially tried to hold back the throngs, but eventually gave up and decided that medical workers would have to wait until Monday to retrieve the bodies.

Though the usual suspects of the Klan, skinheads and 4chan posters turned up, the bulk of the celebrants were white youths under the age of 25 who have never been involved with a racist movement before but have been inspired by Garrison’s message of hate and genocide.

Many wore replicas of Garrison’s famous hat as they held up posters of the cartoonist’s face and chanted “gas the kikes, race war now” and “Garrison is right, real Holocaust now.”

Several bikini-clad nubile young women held up posters for TV cameras which read “Ben, I want to have your baby!” as they screamed “woooooooo.”

Tom Metzger, a veteran of the white supremacist movement in America and the former leader of White Aryan Resistance (WAR), drove down from Indiana in his 87 Dodge pickup to witness the pro-Garrison demonstration. Sitting in a lawn chair and sipping a glass of brandy on the outskirts of the crowd of mostly young Whites, the 92-year-old smiled widely as he refused to comment on Garrison’s tactics of murdering men, women and children to further his cause.

“What I can tell you is that this whole racist movement has been filled with a bunch of do-nothing weirdos for decades, and it’s nice to see someone like Garrison taking the initiative to make things happen.” He said, “I don’t know if Ben will make it all the way to Israel or not, but he sure knows how to stir up the youngins, don’t he? He got em off my damn lawn and out here calling for a genocide of the Jews.” He added, gesturing toward the ten thousand white youths which crowded the downtown, dancing to the tune of “Final Countdown” among the ashes and corpses of dead Mexicans and homosexuals.

Similar celebratory demonstrations were staged in every major city across America and Europe. In New York, three members of the Antifa group “No Hate Racism America” who attempted to stage a counter demonstration were lynched by the mob of fanatical Garrison supporters. No arrests have been made and the families of the three slain Antifa say they will not hold public funerals, as Garrison supporters would be likely to protest them.