What makes a house feel like a home? Is it friendly roommates, beer in the fridge, or a house plant that has a name? No, of course not. It’s seasonal decor! That’s why I’ve already picked up half a dozen pumpkin-scented candles, a pumpkin carving kit, and Halloween Oreos to outfit my new 700-square-foot apartment for the best time of the year.

But treats and candles don’t feel like enough. Honestly, I need these giant retro Halloween masks. Only then will I know satisfaction. They remind me of the tempered scares and monsters of days long past. They’re quite whimsical and tame compared to the monsters 2016 has given us: for example, this cat that ate Kevin Spacey!

Designed for Retro-a-go-go by artist Doug P’gosh, the "Vac-tastic Plastic Ghoulsville " line is now on sale for $34.99 apiece. They’re two feet tall, so I’m pretty sure they’re not for faces. No, they’re for my walls. I can’t wait to feel like I’m living inside the classic 1998 Disney Channel Original Movie Halloweentown for an entire month. Maybe a year, as these works of art definitely have potential as an all-seasons aesthetic. The incredible color scheme goes well with my existing interior design, which is "everything is beige and a little dirty / broken because my landlord moved to Malibu without telling me."

The website states, "as you know, for too many years, there hasn't been enough cool Halloween décor created specifically for us monster lovers." I’d never noticed this problem before, but I’m definitely glad somebody is doing something about it now.