WINNIPEG, MB

Yes, men, it happens to everybody. Even the Premier of Manitoba. Once thought to have the “strength and stamina of a mule,” this week Premier Pallister suffered an embarrassing bout of premature election.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. This has never happened to me before,” said Pallister to the people of Manitoba who were just lying there in disbelief. “This is really embarrassing. It’d be totally understandable if you never wanted to see me again.”

The announcement came as a bit of a surprise to the people of Manitoba, who were wanting to hold off for a while longer yet.

“I’m disappointed,” said Mrs. Wiebe. “I was expecting a rock solid election date and instead got this thing sprung on me out of nowhere.”

Still hoping for the chance at a second date, Pallister is currently seeking medical attention for the condition in one of the few Winnipeg emergency rooms he hasn’t already shut down.