If we have to make our own games now, let’s make paper!

Let’s commence this article with a controversial statement: I do not understand the hype surrounding Super Mario Maker 2. Nintendo wants me to be excited about paying full price for a game that I have to essentially design myself or rely on others to make courses that don’t suck. I’m sorry, but what the hell do gaming engineers at Nintendo get paid to do? Clearly not figure out online gaming. I see this divulging into courses that are either ridiculously easy or ridiculously hard, but altogether frustrating. The only saving grace I see is 8-bit Toadette, which is bonkers.

With that said, this concept of a build-your-own game brings forth some interesting possibilities. Let’s dredge up other classics and put the level design in the hands of the gamer, and there is no better title to do this with than Paperboy.

Yes, Paperboy. Paperboy is perhaps the greatest game ever, and I mean that fully. Okay, Bully was a pretty cool game. Harvest Moon is great. Pokemon games are rad, but we’re focusing on the wrong thing here. To continue forward in this article, we must agree that Paperboy is delightful. Wonderful, I’m glad we got past this little hiccup.

The concept of Paperboy is simple and amazing. Ride a bike, hurling papers at front doors or into mailboxes of the customers along your paper route, while avoiding the perils that all papermen must face, whether that is being chased by a dog, steering clear of an errant lawnmower, or having something hurled out the window of a home at you. By doing a good job, you are rewarded by maintaining houses on your paper route. If you do poorly, by throwing a paper through the window of a house, let’s say, you are punished by cancellations. It’s so real it’s scary.

As we approach E3, I am hoping for a surprise announcement of Paperboy Builder. Yes, building levels would be as mundane as it sounds, but you could select various trims, siding colors, placement of mailboxes, placements of lawnmowers, various curb heights. The options are literally in the tens.

Here’s where Paperboy Builder really takes off though: it is a massive multiplayer online roleplaying game (MMORPG), in which players compete for houses on various routes in various neighborhoods. Whoopsie – I just introduced online play, so this game is now trash. Thanks, Nintendo.

What other games would you like to see converted to the builder model? Let us know in the comments.

By: Dan Burkett

@DanielBurkett