Is it weird that I referenced the Elder Scrolls dragon alphabet to actually spell out “penis” in dragon-ese? Am I a messed up individual? Yes, but by god I’m thorough.

Quick note: reader Jake pointed out that the archives section should be flipped, so that the newest comics would appear on top and make navigation easier. I thought that was a great idea and made it so! Check out the archives for a (hopefully) more user friendly format.

Story time! I was in the store (obviously) helping out a customer with some televisions. About a minute through talking with her, some chick pushing a carriage yells from behind, “I’VE BEEN WAITING.”

I turn around and let her know that I was with someone else at the moment, and would be with her as quickly as possible, as I was the only one in the department at the time. Apparently this was not good enough for her, as she demanded my immediate assistance “or else.”

The first, and much nicer customer allowed me to leave, whispering to me “good luck, she sounds awful” as she left.

“I NEED A BLU-RAY PLAYER, WITH INTERNET AND 3D.”

“Alright, ma’am,” I said, and took her to the blu-ray aisle. She told me, using her outdoor voice, that she wanted the cheapest one available.

I showed her the cheapest.

“WELL IS IT THE BEST ONE?”

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never really found myself in a situation where words like “best” and “cheapest” are used to describe the same thing. I explained that no, it wasn’t the best.

“THEN WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME THIS $^@&?”

I explained that I had shown her the cheapest because she asked me to, to which she responded, “SHOW ME THE BEST.”

I did.

“THAT’S TOO &%@&#!^ EXPENSIVE,” she exclaimed, and then sprinted from the store, pushing her baby like it she was in a wheelbarrow race.

This event touched two nerves with me:

1. Having a baby with you does not elevate your importance, nor does it make your time worth more than someone else’s. That first customer had her experience cut short due to baby momma’s rudeness.

2. I’m a really honest guy. If you ask for the cheapest, I’ll show you the cheapest. If you ask for the best, I’ll show you the best. Don’t ask for something and then get upset when I do exactly as you say.

Maybe I was being trolled for a TV show or something… I hope that’s the case, because I fail to believe that someone can be that rude and disgusting in public.

My condolences go out to her child.