It’s hard to not fall for people that are talented at the things you’re passionate about. Whenever I see female musicians rocking out at concerts, I can’t help but be in awe with how amazing they look on stage.

I was very hesitant on writing this list because: a) It’s hard not to talk about women without sounding like a pansy or a misogynist; and b) there are just so many female artists that I don’t know where to begin: Aretha Franklin, Dusty Springfield, Stevie Nicks, Janis Joplin, Etta James, Nicki Minaj etc etc. Therefore, I will try to keep this list as indie as possible.

**puts on horn rim glasses

You’ve probably never heard of these non-mainstream musicians; they are pretty underground….. Barf

As far as sounding like a pansy goes, I don’t give a fuck anymore; I am already as awkward around girls as one can get. It’s not like admitting that to the entire internet is going to further damage my swag, right? Quite frankly, I always feel like I need Don Draper to follow me around and tell me to stop talking before I say something stupid, but I digress.

Friedrich Nietzsche once said: “Ah, Women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.” Here’s to all the female musicians that made my highs higher and my lows more bearable.

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Kick-Ass Female Musicians You Should Check Out

Elizabeth Maurus (Lissie)

I saw Lissie at the 9:30 club, and it was one of the best live shows I have ever been to. At one point during the concert, the guitarist/vocalist Elizabeth Maurus took a shot of tequila with the audience and started talking about how she loves drinking. Concerts are ten times better when the artist is hot, talented or drunk; Lissie encompassed all three. She is well known for her cover of Kid Cudi’s “Pursuit of Happiness,” but her original tracks from Catching a Tiger are also great.

Alisa Xayalith (The Naked and Famous)

I am very proud to say that I was the one responsible for getting my friends to listen to this band from New Zealand. When I heard they were coming to Baltimore, I bought the ticket months in advance. For me, the Naked and Famous is one of those bands that I fell in love with instantly. Also, the female singer/keyboardist Alisa Xayalith is very cute and moderately hipster. I don’t trust anyone with an ‘X’ in her last name, but I can make an exception. In my opinion, there are not enough pretty-cute-and-moderately-hipster girls with X’s in their last names on this planet.

KT Tunstall

KT Tunstall is pretty well known; she was nominated for a Grammy for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance for “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree” in 2007. Even though she lost to Christina Aguilera that year, anyone who can rock the looper pedal like KT Tunstall deserves a Grammy, or at least a spot on some dude’s list of kick ass female musicians.

Alice Glass (Crystal Castles)

At Sweetlife Music Festival, Alice Glass got on stage with a cast on her left (or right; I’m not sure) leg. That was the first time I had heard of the band, so I was a bit skeptical as to how they would perform, and I was dead wrong. Alice Glass rocked the shit out of Merriweather Post Pavillion. She leaped to the audience and surfed the crowd like nothing had happened to her leg, and I’m pretty sure she tried to trash the stage at the end of the set. I mean… you can’t beat that. Though I cannot say her voice is great, her nihilistic attitude is quite awesome.

Alexandra Lawn and Rebecca Zeller (Ra Ra Riot)

Ra Ra Riot has two female members: violinist Rebecca Zeller and cellist Alexandra Lawn. Though both are extremely talented, when you watch them live, you just cannot keep your eyes away from Alexandra Lawn because: a) the hollow electric cello is too cool to not look at b) Alexandra basically makes love to the cello on stage the entire concert, and c) she is pretty hot. I’m not saying that Rebecca Zeller is unattractive. As a matter of fact, she is a very attractive blonde with plenty of passion, light-years beyond my league; I just think Alexandra genuinely seems to have more fun on stage.

Heather Alden (Faded Paper Figures)

Faded Paper Figures is an indie electronica pop band from LA. The band has a similar dynamics to The Naked and Famous; a male guitar/vocalist, a bassist, a drummer, and a female vocalist/keyboardist. Their songs are mostly jolly and upbeat, which I enjoy every once in a while. I have not seen this band live, but I hope to do so in the near future. Bad news is: apparently Heather Alden is going to medical school in UCLA, so an east coast tour is unlikely.

Amy Millan (Stars)

Stars is also pretty well known, but who cares? During my emo phase in high school, “Your ex-lover is dead” was one of my favorite songs; it is still up there now. Stars also puts on a decent live show, and the vocalist/guitarist Amy Millan is quite the talent; she also contributed in Broken Social Scene and Metric, and has released two solo albums. Oh, and she is having a baby with her bandmate from Stars, Evan Cranley; she is almost as busy as that other famous pregnant lady. What’s her name again?

Aly Spaltro (Lady Lamb the Beekeeper)

I’m not sure how much I can write about this artist since the only information I got is that she was named Folk Artist of the Year by the Boston Music Award in 2010, and that she is from Portland, Maine; I had no idea there was yet another Portland in Maine. Anyways, as you can see in the video below, she has a great voice and the ability to cause multiple eargasms with only a guitar; not many people can do that. I’m surprised she hasn’t gotten a major record deal yet.

Yukimi Nagano (Little Dragon)

I first heard of Little Dragon from Gorillaz’s “Empire Ants” from Plastic Beach, which is one of my favorite songs of all time. When the final build-up of the song kicked in around the 2 minute mark, I thought I had entered a parallel universe in which I was drinking a gin and tonic while writing my name with piss on the bright side of the Moon for everyone on the Earth to watch; I bet no one has thought of doing that before. Yukimi Nagano’s unique voice also ties the song perfectly at the climax. Little Dragon has three studio albums out: Little Dragon, Machine Dreams, and Ritual Upon; all three albums are great. I would check out “Blinking Pigs” and “Feathers” by them if you are interested.

Eleanore Everdell (The Hundred in the Hands)

The Hundred in the Hands is an electropop duo from Brooklyn. They released their debut album in September 2010 with their first single “Pigeons.” When I stumbled on the music video for “Pigeons,” I was intrigued by both the video and the band’s style; the music video was about a drunk girl who vomits fireworks. You can check that out on your own time; I think Katy Perry stole the idea for the music video of “Firework” from The Hundred in the Hands. Anyway, their first album, The Hundred in the Hands, is definitely worth checking out.

Jade Castrinos (Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros)

Just watch the damn video; nobody can rock the bell like Jade Castrinos can. The legend tells (or it’s written in Wikipedia) that Alex Ebert, the leader of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, fell in love with Jade the day he met her, and wrote a bunch of songs with her. The affair became the seed for Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros; that’s kinda cute, right?

Ann and Nancy Wilson (Heart)

Heart is far from indie, but Ann and Nancy Wilson deserve to be on this list because they were amongst my first rock and roll crushes. When I started learning how to play classical guitar, I really wanted to master the intro to “Crazy on you.” When I finally learned how to play the intro, I also learned how to play “Classical Gas.” Combine the two magnificent forces (beginning with the intro to “Crazy on you” and ending with “Classical Gas”), I rocked the shit out of my high school auditorium. I’m not sure if you’ll believe this but, for the rest of the year, I was the coolest motherfucker in my school; Ann and Nancy Wilson boosted my confidence like those penis pills do to men going through midlife crises. So thank you, Ann and Nancy, for making high school more interesting for me.