LAS VEGAS -- Shay "Young Kiv" Kivlen wasn't sure if he wanted to make the trip to Las Vegas for the Madden Classic.

This was a question that wouldn't have even crossed his mind before Aug. 26, but then again nothing has been or ever will be the same for him or anyone who was at The Jacksonville Landing on that day.

That was the day David "Bread" Katz, a well-known gamer in the Madden community, opened fire at a Madden NFL 19 qualifying tournament being held inside a pizza parlor at the open-air mall and killed fellow gamers Elijah "Trueboy" Clayton and Taylor "SpotMePlzzz" Robertson while wounding 11 others.

Kivlen and Clayton were best friends, and Kivlen was one of the players Katz had reportedly targeted; asking an EA rep where Kivlen had gone and when he would be back after he had lost. Kivlen wouldn't return but was watching the Twitch livestream from his hotel room as a red laser dot appeared on Clayton's shirt before the screen went blank and gunshots could be heard in the background.

"He's always in my thoughts," said Kivlen, who was last season's Madden Bowl champion but lost in the Round of 64 at the Madden Classic. "There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of him or there's something that reminds me of him as a person or as a player. We would play all the time before tournaments and prepare together for these tournaments. It sucks not having him here with me. I'm just going to try to go out and play for him from now on. I wasn't able to win this time but hopefully I can win one of these tournaments coming up for him."

As Kivlen stood in the lobby of the Millennial Esports Arena in Las Vegas for the first Madden LAN tournament since the Jacksonville shooting, he couldn't help but smile at the sight of so many friends he hadn't seen in nearly four months.

"I've learned to cherish every day like it's your last because you never know if some freak accident or event might happen and you might not be able to see someone anymore or you might not be around yourself," Kivlen said. "It's taught me to cherish life so much more. I've always had a hard time losing but that loss was the best loss I've ever had because it probably saved my life.

"It was really hard for me to go back to playing after what happened. I didn't have someone to talk to and play with every day like I did before so I didn't really have any motivation to play. I took a break after what happened and just grieved for 'SpotMe' and 'Trueboy' but eventually I got back out there and realized this is what I love to do."

Everyone who gathered at the Madden Classic in Las Vegas had to come to that realization in their own way over the past four months. Reginald "Boogz" Brown beat Katz in the single-elimination tournament in Jacksonville before Katz returned and opened fire. Brown, like many others who made the trip to Las Vegas, wasn't sure if he was ready to return to another Madden LAN tournament after what happened, but he, wanted see many of his friends he hadn't seen since the shooting in Jacksonville.

"I've never been more happy to see another man in my life because, for the guys in that room, only we know what happened and what it felt like," Brown said. "So to see all these guys again and for a moment have that sigh of relief and know that we made it out of there while we still mourn our two brothers, it's a bond that we'll have for the rest of our lives."

"I’m just thankful to be here and to enjoy this moment with my brothers again. It’s just good to back and see everyone happy and smiling again," said Michael “Skimbo” Skimbo after winning the Madden Classic. Courtesy of Electronic Arts

Brown, 31, and Robertson, 27, had a special connection within the Madden community as both were husbands and fathers with families back home as they competed against younger players.

"We had a special connection," Brown said. "To have someone who understood how hard it is to get to this level while working full time and having a family at home, that was a guy that I connected with and we always rooted for each other because of how hard it was. As soon as I got home after Jacksonville I couldn't wait to hug my wife and hug my kids. I forced my kids to stay home from school the next day because I wanted them to be with me. They didn't understand but I didn't care. I needed to be with them."

Outside the Millennial Esports Arena, which is on the top floor of the 300,000-square foot, three-story Neonopolis in downtown Las Vegas, there are two metal detectors and four security guards posted in front of the doors while two more security guards stand next to the elevators. A sign outside the door states, "The following items are prohibited": weapons, drugs, alcohol, smoking and bags. The location of the Madden Classic wasn't revealed anywhere on EA's website and social media outside of the fact that it was taking place in Las Vegas, and only staff members and competitors with proper credentials were allowed inside the arena.

"It's nice to see the level of security because I was on the fence for a while about coming to this event," Brown said. "I didn't know if I was going to be able to sit down again with my back to others and play a video game, knowing what I went through in Jacksonville where guys were just sitting down and focused on playing the game and the next thing you know shots are being fired. It makes you uneasy and uncomfortable being in that environment again but it's nice to see officers and security and stuff like that. If you notice some of the guys who were in Jacksonville, if there's a loud noise, you'll see a few of the guys jump. I saw that a few times. You're just more on edge."

Matt Marcou, who is the Madden commissioner and has been involved in competitive gaming for over 20 years, knew that they were going to hold the Madden Classic in Las Vegas but he wasn't sure when. Even when the decision was made to hold the event before the end of the year, he knew not everyone was going to be ready to return. As he looked at the faces of many of the competitors who were in Jacksonville and saw them enjoying themselves, he couldn't help but get choked up.

"I just think it was the right thing to do at the right time and it was cathartic," Marcou said. "It was tough to pick up the pieces, but we wanted to come back and bring the community back together. I was in the hall here and it was great to hear the sound of laughter again and people having fun. We all needed that."

Michael "Skimbo" Skimbo defeated Justin "LilMan" Barone in the grand final of the Madden Classic to earn back-to-back titles and become the first player to earn his third Madden Championship Series belt. After being congratulated by dozens of fellow players in the Madden community who stayed in the arena long after losing to watch the final, he stood on stage with the belt, looked at it and just shook his head.

"I was standing right next to SpotMe about five minutes before he got shot," Skimbo said. "I had to go use the restroom and as soon as I got to the restroom I heard the shots. I was standing right next to him. God had my back. I'm just thankful to be here and to enjoy this moment with my brothers again. It's just good to back and see everyone happy and smiling again."