“He brought it up eight times on one phone call. Eight times makes it seem like a pretty obvious crime. It’s like if you went on trial for stabbing a guy and said, ‘It was an accident. He fell on the knife,’ and they said, ‘Eight times?’” — SETH MEYERS

“Yeah, Trump asked Ukraine for election help, or as he put it, ‘I was just trying to make Putin jealous.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Right now Eric and Don Jr. are thinking, ‘Damn, he pays more attention to Biden’s kid.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Today reporters asked Trump if he did anything wrong. He was like, ‘Yeah, I probably should have asked for dirt on Elizabeth Warren.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“We spent years talking about Russia; it might be Ukraine that takes down Trump. Who saw that coming? That’s like looking both ways before you cross the street then getting hit by a drone.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Maybe even crazier is the fact that Trump did this on July 25th, the day after the Mueller testimony. So a day after the conclusion of a major investigation into whether he got help in an election from a foreign leader, he gets on the phone and asks for help from another foreign leader. It’s like the only thing I can compare it to is when Mike Tyson bit Evander Holyfield’s ear and then bit Evander Holyfield’s other ear.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“The bottom line is it would appear the president used his office to ask a foreign country to dig up dirt on his opponent, and Democrats in Congress are thinking very seriously about threatening to maybe consider almost doing something about it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Today Nancy Pelosi said, ‘Another five or 600 violations and we might think about impeachment.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“While addressing the whistle-blower complaint about Ukraine, Nancy Pelosi accused President Trump of endangering national security. Yeah, Nancy, where you been? You’re like, my mom’s friend who is watching Season 4 of ‘Breaking Bad’ and says, ‘I think this guy might be dealing meth.’” — SETH MEYERS

“I know they say that history repeats itself, but usually it’s after a few generations, not, like, two years later with the exact same person.” — JAMES CORDEN