Ruby Jean Reynolds (as played to messy perfection by Alfre Woodard), Lafayette’s Jesus-loving, schizophrenic, homo-hating mother on True Blood.

(True Blood spoiler alerts!) I’m happy that Lost’s the Smoke Monster is getting work on cable TV, but True Blood is overdosing on story lines and they need to cut some shit to focus on what’s really important. I don’t need another scene from that annoying fairy club of dumb fairies doing a stupid fairy lambada dance choreographed by Abby Lee Miller. I don’t need to see derpy dough person Hoyt getting his neck sucked AGAIN while dressed like Avril Lavigne. And I really don’t need to see Eric’s crazy sister on her knees (bitch is always on her knees) and praying to Lilith Crane. But what I really need is more of Eric caressing Alcide’s cheek (more on that beautiful moment later, I hope) and RUBY JEAN REYNOLDS!!!

Alfre deserves all the Emmys for the side-eye-inducing sass she spit during one of the best scenes from last night’s episode. I mean, this line right here needs to be hand-stitched on a throw pillow:

Ruby Jean needs her own spin-off show where she recaps the entire True Blood episode from her mental hospital bed while Lafayette rolls his eyes next to her. More Ruby Jean, less everything else!