Most of the big decisions we make come with some level of uncertainty. We’re challenged by internal questions like, “Am I doing the right thing?” and “Is this the right choice?” None of us wants to be haunted by a wrong decision, or risk missing the benefits of choosing the right thing. So, we spend a lot of time weighing our options, wrestling in our heads, and unfortunately, we sometimes become paralyzed.

I’ve had to make some really challenging decisions in my life. Is it the right time to start a new business? Am I supposed to get divorced? Am I ready to start a new relationship? How do I need to show up for my kids? The questions have been significant, and making the decisions has been tough.

If you’ve spent much time around me, you’ve probably heard me mention my ongoing desire to discover a billboard along the freeway with blinking lights and a giant arrow pointing to a message in bold letters that says, “John, do this.” Forgive my run-on sentence, but that’s what I’m looking for. I want it to be that simple. Just tell me what to do and eliminate all the uncertainty and doubt.

I think we’d all like that billboard. No matter the choices we’re making, whether they involve our jobs or our relationships, our parenting or our life goals, we just want to be able to have some confidence that we’re doing the right thing. We don’t even care sometimes what the “right thing” is; we just don’t want to make a mistake and go down the wrong path. Just point me in the right direction.

Unfortunately, there is no billboard. I’ve searched, and it doesn’t exist.

So, knowing that, what do you do? The big decisions will keep coming at you, so how do you know you’re making the right choices? Here are five ideas that have helped me when the crossroads come, and decisions need to be made…

Your Personal Board of Directors – Looking at many of the businesses I work with, they have an external board of directors they go to regularly for guidance and wisdom. As individuals, we need the same. Look around at your circle and start to pick the people you can go to when you need help finding clarity and insights into your own decision-making. I’ve talked before about the importance of mentors and advisors, as well as a close circle of trusted confidants, that you can call on for accountability and good judgment. None of us knows enough on our own to make all the important choices life will throw at us – trying to do this alone is dangerous. Our circle empowers us with additional knowledge and insights to guide our choices and protects us from our own imperfections.

Educating Yourself – Weighing the pros and cons of a decision before making it is one of the most important natural steps in making a solid choice about anything. It helps you paint a picture of the outcomes you can expect, and what your world may look like if you turn to the right or the left. It’s essential, for a big decision, to get a good grasp on what may or may not happen, or what one choice may trigger in the future. Understanding the domino effect of one choice is vital. But what happens when you don’t really know what the outcome might be, or what some of the pitfalls may look like? How do you weigh your options then? The second piece of decision-making that is crucial is educating yourself. Whether it’s researching online, reaching out to a professional outside your circle, or reading books, spending the right amount of time to get informed about your choices is an important step not to skip.

Have Faith – For me, a key part of my personal decision-making process involves my faith. It impacts almost all of my decisions, and it allows me to have confidence that as I’m making choices about my business, relationships, or life in general, there is something greater at play. My faith gives me the wisdom to guide my choices, allows me the space to meditate on my decisions, and provides me with a higher sense of calm and hope in the paths I pick. If you’re a person of faith, I would encourage you not to separate what you believe from how you make life’s most significant decisions – let them intertwine and weave together.

Trust Your Gut – There comes a point when you’re making a big decision, where you simply need to trust your gut. We all, on some level, have a compass inside that is leading us in one direction or another. Once you’ve collected the advice and consultation of your circle, and you’ve taken the time to educate yourself on your options and the consequences, it’s time to trust your gut. This moment, when you’re on the verge of pulling the trigger and making your choice, can be terrifying. But, there’s a moment in every decision-making process where you just have to jump and trust. So, jump.

Let Go – So you do it. You jump and trust. Now what? You own it. There are so many opportunities in life to look backward and play the “should have, could have, would have” game. To be blunt, that game sucks. Once you’ve made your decision, there’s no going back, so you need to embrace your choice and move forward rather than looking backward. A life of regrets and remorse is a tough life to live. Instead, focusing on whatever the next step is becomes the best use of your energy and time. Does that mean you can’t pivot or turn a different direction down the road? Nope. All it means is that you’re not going to spend your energy wondering if you did the right thing. You did it, now run with it. And here’s the best part… Many times when there are two options, neither is right or wrong. You just need to make a choice and go, and life will take you where it takes you, so enjoy the journey!

The Takeaway

If you find that billboard along the side of the road telling you explicitly how to make your next decision, you’re lucky. If you’re like the rest of us, use the tools you have around you to come to the best possible choice you can, and then dive in and see where life takes you!

Ready for More?

I hope this post was helpful to you. We’re all trying to live deep lives, and I am convinced none of us can do it alone. So, if you could use a little motivation and encouragement, subscribe here to follow me at Depth Not Width and we’ll do this together! – John