A HISTORIAN has confirmed that Britain ends up in a raging mess whenever we make the mistake of putting posh people in charge.

Denys Finch Hatton, professor of history at Christchurch College, Oxford, pointed to the Suez crisis, the First World War, the English Reformation and basically most of the last 1,500 years as an example of his point.

He continued: “We have a great tradition in this country of inventors, of artists, of writers, of mathematicians, of real, solid achievement. And then there are the posh twats.

“They’ve led this country into war after war, into schisms with churches, into Black Deaths and Corn Laws and pointless Grail quests, killing tens of thousands of us every time.

“We’d hoped those days were over but then Blair crept in with his Damon Albarn accent, then we went full Eton and guess what, the country’s completely f*cked again in no time at all.

“Mark my words, this won’t be over until half a generation’s massacred and we all vow ‘never again’ until the next time we let the chinless f*ckers get their hands on the keys.”

Voter Roy Hobbs, from Trowbridge, said: “Boris Johnson is funny.”