As part of its ongoing efforts to promote gender equality, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced today the creation of the Women’s Universal Championship, which, like its counterpart for male wrestlers, will be defended only on the rarest of occasions.

WWE Chief Operating Officer Hunter Hearst Helmsley, with tears streaming down his cheeks, described Women’s Universal Championship as “the greatest triumph for equal rights since Chyna started wrestling men.”

The inaugural Women’s Universal Champion will be crowned at WWE Evolution, the “historic” first-ever all-women’s pay-per-view, unless you count TNA’s Knockouts Knockdown five years ago, and every Shimmer pay-per-view, which Helmsley says “don’t count.”

The Women’s Universal Champion will be required to defend the championship at least (and at most) twice per year, except leap years, or if the champion feels like competing in MMA.

According to backstage sources, the first champion is expected to be a mysterious newcomer named Woman Weigns.