The dialogue on Riverdale is the best dialogue on television, and I will fight anyone who tries to say otherwise!!!! If you ever find yourself watching Riverdale and thinking hmm, William Shakespeare WISHES he could craft dramatic dialogue this snappy and poetic, well honey, I’m inclined to agree. Between Cheryl Blossom’s daymares, Jughead’s angsty soliloquies, and all the talk of serpents, blood, chaos, and turmoil, the characters of Riverdale exist in a heightened theatrical realm not unlike the tumultuous worlds of Shakespearean theater.

So, without further ado, can you tell which of these lines were said on Riverdale and which were said in a Shakespeare play? It might be trickier than you think!

WHO SAID IT: A CHARACTER ON RIVERDALE OR A SHAKESPEAREAN CHARACTER 1. “I’m in the mood for chaos” * Puck Veronica Lodge Cheryl Blossom Lady Macbeth

2. “No, you ghoul!” * Cheryl Blossom Josie McCoy Mercutio A and C

3. “More of your conversation would infect my brain” * Penelope Blossom Beatrice Cheryl Blossom Menenius

4. “The evil that men do lives after them” * Romeo Jughead Antony Penelope Blossom

5. “If music be the food of love, play on” * Orsino Cheryl Blossom A and B Beatrice

6. “The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril” * Desdemona Falstaff Cheryl Blossom Veronica Lodge

7. “Hands off, goblin!” * Cheryl Blossom Ophelia Banquo Hermione Lodge

8. “There is only chaos” * Othello Jughead Hiram Lodge Petruchio

9. “You have no power over me, Death” * Romeo Jughead Cheryl Blossom Juliet

10. “Chaos is come again” * Jughead Othello Romeo Juliet

11. “Good children should never go into the woods alone” * Jughead Nana Blossom Lady Macbeth Puck

12. “Hell is empty and all the devils are here” * Jughead Ariel Hiram Lodge Macbeth

13. “Linked in death, ever as they were in life” * Jughead Juliet Romeo Mercutio

14. “Something wicked this way comes” * Witch Betty Cooper A and B Cheryl Blossom

15. "All snakes have a soft underbelly" * Ophelia Penny Peabody Othello FP Jones

16. “Be like the snake that hides underneath the flower” * Jughead Lady Macbeth Toni Topaz Romeo

17. "Because, you dumb cow! Someone shot my brother and I think it was your crazy tweaked-out sister!" * Cheryl Blossom Betty Cooper Romeo Macbeth

18. “You should have drowned them at birth, like a basket of kittens” * Nana Blossom Ophelia Prospero Cassio

19. “Blood will have blood” * Jughead Macbeth Hiram Lodge Archie Andrews

20. “No more blood. No more madness. No more horror.” * Lady Macbeth Archie Andrews Macbeth Cheryl Blossom



Share your scores in the comments. And, just because, also tell me any and all Shakespeare productions you have ever been a part of and any interesting/relevant/gay anecdotes about said experiences.