This week kicks off with a meander through Skype avatars, back-to-school night, and personal metadata quirks. Merlin feels bad about getting a new TV, and John assures him it probably won’t be terrible. On separate occasions, John and Merlin both demonstrate a lot of restraint.

Merlin apparently doesn’t know how to (not) turn off his PlayStation, so John walks him through it. Paul’s in the basement, Sahm’s on the roof, and Merlin doesn’t even know how to make fun of John to his satisfaction. Typical.

Your hosts accidentally discuss tech, John provides a sitrep on his mouse offensive, and Merlin admits grudging admiration for his sugar ants. John’s dog has a regression, and Merlin’s cat costs him another grand.

The main topic this week is Twitter. Your hosts discuss their following decisions, their bespoke mute and block strategies, and some of the Sisyphean methods for trying to stay out of a canoe. Merlin feels bad about lots of things, but John ain’t no follow-back girl. Merlin says handle does not equal-equal person, and John thinks celebrities don’t actually read their timelines. Merlin responds to the Republican candidate’s texts, and nobody texts John hardly at all. Who’s Holden Caulfield now?

Things wrap with the airing of grievances about children and their terrible habits. John’s son has excellent hair.

(Recorded on Tuesday, September 19, 2017.)