10/7/08

**WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT**



Dear Busy Beaver & Pugs,



I recently started talking and flirting with a woman at work and am very attracted to her. I can tell she likes me too, but I've never actually been with a woman before, only guys. I've been trying to learn about having sex with girls by reading books and watching movies, but I'm not sure what to expect. Is it really necessary to go down on a woman? Would it be wrong for me to want her to do me and not give back? I guess what I really want to know is what to expect once I'm down there. A male friend told me it tasted like a nine-volt battery—like when you touch your tongue to those prong thingies on top. Is this true?



Thanks,

Lesbian Newbie





Dear Newbie,



I am so tempted to pull the battery out of my smoke detector and taste it right now so that I can give you an answer on that last question. But unlike your guy friend, I don’t make a habit of licking batteries, so the taste of them will have to remain a mystery—unlike the taste of a woman’s nether regions.



To answer your first concern about never having been with a woman, well, everyone has to start somewhere. Has the other gal been with women? If so, great. She can teach you the basics and what she likes. Just follow her lead and/or try doing things to her body that you’d like to have done to your body. If the object of your affection has not been with other women, you are on a level playing field that will be both awkward and exciting at the same time. Practice, practice, practice. And communicate. You’ll hear me say that a lot.



Do you have to go down on her? Hell, yes! Absolutely. Positively. Unequivocally. Maybe not the first time, but eventually. That comes standard. I would tell a straight man the same thing. Learn to love it, Newbie. Don’t focus on the taste. Learn to love the taste. Some girls taste like nothing, sometimes there’s a little “tang,” and maybe some girls taste like 9V batteries, but I wouldn’t know. (Help me out readers, what does your gf taste like?) If they taste really horrible, they need a lesson in hygiene and you are free to gag and tell them to take a shower before you will proceed.



Dive in!

Beave





Dear Newbie,



Ouch! Wouldn’t it hurt if you rubbed your tongue on a 9-volt battery? I’m not trying it either. And as for choking and gagging like you’ve got a furball stuck in your throat if your gal tastes bad, I wouldn’t do that either. That Beave is so funny, isn’t she?



OK, here’s how I felt the first time I went down on my lady friend. My partner and I were newbies together so we talked a lot during our first time together. Btw, she had nice smooth thighs which was a nice switch from those hair-infested gams men have. Spend a little time kissing your girl’s thighs; you and she both will like that I promise. And though I was nervous as hell, I figured her lady jizz couldn’t taste any worse than the man jizz I was used to. And guess what? She tasted way better! I don’t know if you’ve had experience with blowing men but if you have, keep thinking that going down on a woman is a much better experience. The taste and the consistency of the jizz is much better in a woman.



Yes, absolutely, you must go down on her! You want her to do you, don’t you? Well it’s a “scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” kind of deal. But the fun thing about “scratching” another woman‘s vagina is while it feels fantastic to her, it will feel pretty good to you too. So get busy scratching!



Pugs



About the Authors of The Sex Slog:



The Busy Beaver is an award-winning, published playwright who previously wrote an advice column for OurChart; and Pugs was married to a man for a long time but is now learning about all things lesbian. Both writers can be found on LezBang.com and together they own a company with sensual gift baskets for lesbians called Come Together.



Have a question for Busy Beaver and Pugs?



Email: love@cometogethergiftbaskets.com



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