Spoiler:

I was only 9 years old

I loved Palmer so much. I had all the merchandise and games.

I pray to Palmer every night before bed, thanking her for the life I have been given

"Palmer is love" I say, "Palmer is life"

My dad hears me and calls me a grunt

I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to Palmer

I called him a auto-aimer

He melees me and sends me to go to sleep

I'm crying now, and my face hurts

I lay in bed and it's really cold

A warmth is moving towards me

I feel something touch me

It's Palmer

I am so happy

She whispers in my ear, "this is my Simulation"

She Melee's me with her powerful Spartan 4 hands and gives me REQ level 8

I'm ready

I turn around for Palmer

She Lawndarts me

It hurts to much but I do it for Palmer

I can feel my cores health going down as my eyes start to water

I push against her force

i want to please Palmer

She roars a mighty roar as she fills my REQ system with levels

My dad walks in

Palmer looks him straight in the eyes and says "The game isn't over yet, we can still destroy the enemy core!"

Palmer leaves through my window

Palmer is love, Palmer is life

Don't even like the stupid shrek meme, but i thought this was somewhat funny. lol