Airline: Southwest

Airport: Indianapolis

How ridiculous was your experience?

Very ridiculous.

The Horror Story:

Traveling to Las Vegas from Indianapolis I decided to wear one of my old wrestling singlets, which is a little tighter than before, through security hoping that it would prevent the sexual assault that I encountered while traveling through Tampa airport. So I wrote “DO NOT TOUCH MY PENIS” in large red letters on the front of the singlet and on the back a quote from Elmer Davis that reads “This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.”



So as always I “opt out”, whatever in the heck that is supposed to mean. As they take me into the clear glass enclosed pat down area I proceeded to remove my pants and shirt to reveal the singlet. The young TSA “AGENT” was at as loss for words and I explained to him that this should make it easier on the both of us. He immediately ran for a supervisor(John) who came over and told me to put my clothes back on. At which point I explained that this was worn in high school gyms to wrestle in and the was nothing wrong with it, and that I had worn this in PUBLIC school. I also ensured him that I was no threat but I would not have my penis touched. Another TSA lady came over and told me PENIS was a vulgar word and that there were kids around. So I had to explain to her the meaning of free speech and that kids in elementary school are taught sex ed and know the word penis. She told me they don’t use that word. HAHAHA! Thats when William, a large man in a suit with God knows what as his job title came over and was trying to intimidate me verbally and by pushing his chest out towards me. The TSA supervisor decided that he would not pat me down while I was in the singlet only and that if I wanted to fly I would have to put my clothes back on and then be patted down.



How ridiculous is that? It was quite obvious that the only thing under the singlet was my “junk” and no other protrusions of any kind. Like I mentioned before it was a little tighter than it used to be so it showed everything. Two police officers showed up and I told them that if this man touched my penis it would be a direct violation of my 4th amendment rights, as if the pat down without the penis touching isn’t. I also told them that requiring me to cover up the writing was a violation of my 1st amendment. The lady police officer left after this and the male police officer named Mark stayed to watch. Mark seemed to be an arrogant guy but once he realized I knew my rights he just watched but refused to do his job of upholding the US Constitution as expected, telling me that by buying a plane ticket I consented to this bullshit. There were countless numbers of security/police around. So after a period of time that I have no idea how long it was and being ensured by John that he didn’t want to and would not touch my penis I decided I would put my clothes back on. Like I said they refused to do the pat down while in the singlet. So I got dressed and they proceeded to pat me down anyways.



After the grope down was done I was told that I was free to go about to my flight. Thats when William came back trying to intimidate me more and demanding first my I.D. and after I refused to give him that he wanted my boarding pass to which again I refused telling him they had already checked both at the front of the security checkpoint.



This story is absurd and my outfit was absurd but this treatment of normal people as if they are terrorists and the lack of ability of these TSA goons to use reason is beyond absurd. There was no point in patting me down after they seen me in the singlet other than that fact that they are mindless idiots that have to follow procedure no matter the circumstances. What ever happened to the use of metal detectors and the sniffers that they used to use? The answer is Michael Chertoff making millions off the body scanner scandal. Must be nice to be able to put in policy of using body scanners by the end of 2010 as Secretary of DHS and then leaving that post to lobby for the company that makes the scanners.