"Who in their right mind would call me at this un-godly hour?" Lorelai

grumbled."Hello?"



That was how Rory told the story, waking up to her mother's

frantic cries.



"Rory! Oh god, RORY!" her hysterical tears, the stampeding

of her feet as she raced down the staircase,"RORY!"



"Mom?" the teenager rubbed her eyes



Tears streamed down Lorelai's face as she shakingly attempted to throw a

coat over her pajamas."Oh no, oh god"



"Mom?"



"Your grandpa...he's"



"MOM!" her voice was frantic,"You can't just wake me up and .." a sick

pressure built up in her chest, making Rory wish she could scream.



"We need to get to the hospital" was all Lorelai could say.

***********************************

Making my way downtown

Walking fast

************************************

Luke concentrated on the screeching of the tires that passed

his apartment window."Lorelai's" he muttered



"What?" Jess called



"Nothin'" Luke answered, his eyes wide open,"It's nothin'"

***********************************

Faces passed

And I'm home bound

***********************************

They ran down a long poorily lit corridor, hearts racing



That was how Rory told the story. Feeling that pit in her stomach when

she realized why they were there. And no laughter could make

this go away.



"Grandma!" Rory yelled, racing behind her mother



A doctor pulled Lorelai aside and whispered.Rory watched her mother

fall into a chair, holding her face in her hands.



Rory watched her grandmother take her grandfather's hand, tears

racing down the old woman's cheeks.



Behind her, the doctor kneeled down in front of Lorelai,patting her

back akwardly as she cried.Loud hysterical tears.

*************************************

Staring blankly ahead

Just making my way

Making my way

Through the crowd

**************************************

There's something to be said for schedule. Wake up, wake Jess up, get dressed.

Luke had his daily ritual. Baseball hat, look around, leave apartment. Get to

diner.



Everything had a place, a place for everything. She'd come in at 6. Then

at 9.



He looked up at the clock, down at the door.



"Luke?" Sookie stood in the door of the diner, her eyes

blood shot and red.



"Sookie?" he ran out to the door.Luke stopped."Sookie?"



She stood in the doorway, Luke's figure shadowed by the sun.



"Tell Jess.."



She nodded



"I'll be.."



"Just go Luke" Sookie's voice was quiet,"She needs you"

*********************************

And I need you

*********************************

They sat side by side.Each silently , occasionally sniffling, or quietly

crying into their hands.



He's dead. He's dead.



The nurses came occasionally. They touched Rory's shoulder and muttered

something.



We're sorry of your loss.



"Let me talk to your mom" Christopher's voice broke up the silence

between father and daughter over the phone.



Rory handed Lorelai the phone. Closing her mother's fingers around the object.

Lorelai nodded, her eyes shiny and wet."No, I know. She knew " she'd repeat

quietly.



Like Rory couldn't hear.

**********************************

And I miss you

And now I wonder....

***********************************

Someone pressed a small black phone book into Rory's hand and walked away.



She made phone call after phone call. She looked up at the clock, bought

coffee,which sat at her mother and grandmother's side untouched, and

made more phone calls.





The more phone calls, the more people who came.





They came in suits, smelling musty and clean, like they'd hidden in a library,

just like her grandfather. They crowded,fake smiliy, on their way to work.

Rory stood behind her mother's chair, watching her grandmother get passed from

person to person.



Into stranger's arms who held her and said the same things as she cried





"We're so sorry. He was a good man"





They nodded towards Lorelai. And then the room was quiet again.





"Hey" a hand touched Rory's shoulder,reaching over her and taking the

phone from her."I hate these things.Have you eaten?"





"I'm fine Luke" his eyes were so gentle then. Rory winced at the sound of

her tired, worn voice.



"You need a break" he followed her eyes. She was watching Lorelai and

Emily."They'll keep"



"L..Luke?" Lorelai's voice sounded like sobs when she spoke,"Is that you?"



Luke turned his head, an eye on Rory,"Have you eaten?"



The woman ran into his arms, crying into his chest. Luke patted her back

akwardly."It'll be alright" he said quietly,"I promise"

****************************************

If I could fall

Into the sky

Do you think time

Would pass me by

*****************************************

Rory called the funeral home. She called the florist. Jaw clenched

she went through her grandfather's suits, looking for the right one.



She fell back into his oversized chair, shaking.



Too much to do, too little time to cry.

****************************************

'Cause you know I'd walk

A thousand miles

If I could

Just see you

Tonight

****************************************

Her mother wouldn't touch food. Luke came by everyday. Dean lurked in

the shadows.



"I can't!" Lorelai screamed,"I JUST CAN'T!! How do you expect me to FUNCTION

when my father's been dead for 2 days??"



Rory stepped back, jaw clenched.



"It's alright" Luke replied, heading up the stairs after Lorelai,"She

didn't mean it"



Rory just nodded.

***************************************

It's always times like these

When I think of you

***************************************

She saw Dean once.He stood at the front door, clutching flowers,

muttering something.



I'm sorry about your grandfather.



Rory had no time. No time for sleep,no time for food. The car radio

irritated her. Smiling people bugged her.



Deep deep down inside, she held onto a scream.Scream and tears.

*************************************

And I wonder

If you ever

Think of me

***************************************

"Have you eaten,Rory?" Emily's voice was fragile. She finally sounded old

and tired."You look horrible.Your grandfather would be worried"



"I'm fine Grandma" she answered, avoiding her grandmother's eyes."The

car's coming at noon, the service is at one, and your outfit is at the

cleaners.Did I miss anything?"



Emily Gilmore shook her head."He was so proud of you, Rory"



Rory walked out of the room.Three days was too soon. Too soon for the

praise she never heard herself come out of her grandfather's mouth.

It was too soon.

***********************************

'Cause everything's so wrong

And I don't belong

Living in your

Precious memories

************************************

She could count how many times she had seen the sun rise and fall each day.

Count the days on her fingers. She stayed up all night rubbing her mom's

back, listening to her cry.



Soothing her.

**********************************

'Cause I need you

And I miss you

And now I wonder....

**********************************

She caught his shadow by accident. Lorelai screamed, falling apart at the

foot of the stairs, her clothes in scrunched in her hands.



"Dean?"



He gave a sad smile.



Rory blushed,"You shouldn't be here"



"Need a hand?" Dean pushed the screen door open.



Rory stepped back from her mom, closing her eyes.



"Come on Lorelai" Dean unfurled her hands from the shirt,"You need to get dressed"

his hands shook,"You need to strong for Rory"



He looked up at her.



Rory looked away, her body shaking.



"I can't..I can't. I never said I was sorry to my dad. I never told him, I can't"

She cried.



Dean nodded, moving a piece of hair out of the woman's eyes."Is Luke coming?"



Rory nodded.She watched him lead her mom to the couch, cover her with a blanket.

"Did you eat?"



That was question was almost as frustrating as everyone muttering something

about the man she barely knew. Like it hurt her that he was gone. It didn't

hurt. It terrified her.

********************************

If I could fall

Into the sky

Do you think time

Would pass me by

'Cause you know I'd walk

A thousand miles

If I could

Just see you

Tonight

*********************************

That was how Rory told the story. The whole world fuzzing up, turning

gray, her cheeks burning, legs shaking, the scream in her chest bubbling

into her throat.



Dean holding her face to his chest, muffling the cries."Sshh, come on"

he lead her to the car,"We're almost there, Rory"



She let him lay her in the seat, closed the door behind her. Rory hugged

her knees, crying.



Crying the fear away.



"Let it out" Dean said quietly, pulling away from the cemetry."Let it out

Rory"



Letting the scream out. Her throat grew raw, but she kept screaming,

screaming the fear away with her tears.



He pulled into the driveway of the house, and held her.



"I miss him"



Dean smoothed her hair,"You need to sleep.Come on.."



"I miss him Dean"



He nodded, "I know"



"I miss him alot"

***************************************

Making my way downtown

Walking fast

Faces passed

And I'm home bound

***************************************

Luke stood behind Lorelai's chair, following her stare. Staring at the

hole where the coffin lay.



"He's gone"



"He is"



"It's over"



"For now"



"Oh god" she sighed.



Luke held out his hand."Come on. Dean took Rory home"



Lorelai nodded."Oh no.." she kicked off her heels, running towards Luke's

car.

******************************************



Staring blankly ahead

Just making my way

Making my way

Through the crowd

*******************************************

"RORY!" she called, running through the house.



Dean kissed her forehead, and got up quietly off the bed. He moved aside,

letting Lorelai pass him.



"I'm sorry" Rory's tear streaked face peeked out from under the blankets.



"It's fine Mom"



Lorelai climbed onto the bed,holding Rory in her arms."I..I'm sorry"

She held her daughtet close to her as Rory cried.