Ryan Allis, author of the 1,284-slide slideshow. Ryanallis.com Ryan Allis, a young serial entrepreneur who created and sold iContact for $170 million, has released the longest motivational slideshow ever to mark his 30th birthday.

Clocking in at an insane 1,284 slides, the presentation includes such gems as:

"Important people like opening FedEx packages."

And:

"Let your inner child come out daily and silly dance."

Valleywag's Nitasha Tiku posted and mocked the slidedeck Wednesday and we've spotted some problems with it, too, but the presentation also contains lots of great advice.

We've uploaded every slide for your viewing pleasure, though we're publishing them in three installments so our site doesn't collapse under the weight. Read on for Part 1: How to Win at Life.