The former Oasis singer admitted in an interview that he still takes drugs. Which may make it a bit tricky to warn his kids off them, he says

Might as well do the white line: Liam Gallagher, still caning it at 45

Age: 45.

Appearance: Christopher Eccleston second draft.

Liam! How IS he? He is EXACTLY himself!

That is excellent news! What has he done this time? He has given an interview in which he reveals he is still happily piling into drugs like a wingnut half his age.

A 45-year-old rocker still likes to party? This is news? It was the sanguine manner with which he approached the matter that cheered the nation. Asked if he had any parenting advice, he replied: “Nah, I ain’t got a leg to stand on. I do drugs. So when they come and do drugs, I can’t say: ‘Don’t do drugs.’”

That IS a parenting pickle. Has he tried Mumsnet? “AIBU to tell my children not to cane it while I myself am off my improving-remarkably-with-age-despite-everything face”? No. He does note that at least, later on in life, they can come to him “because I’ve done pretty much … I’ve done a few things”.

Sorry, AIBU? It’s ‘am I being unreasonable?’ in Mumsnetspeak.

How has he still got the energy to do drugs? Or maybe drugs give you the energy? I don’t know drugs. He says he is not doing them as much as he likes at the moment because he is performing on tour.

Professional to his fingertips. And then he’s going to “go in hard” afterwards.

Legend. Do you think he’ll tell the kids about when he was busted for drugs on Oxford Street in 1996? No, but Uncle Noel might. He enjoyed it the most at the time. “It’s typical of Liam,” he said then. “Two policemen ask him what he’s up to and instead of being polite he says: ‘What’s it got to do with you, cuntybollocks?’... and then it turned out the stuff he was carrying was useless, hardly anything in it. He’d bought shit drugs.” Somewhere, he’s laughing still.

Did Liam cleave to his customary swear rate in this interview, 22 years on? He did. He averaged two effs a minute.

Favourite example? When he was asked who his top five “wankers” were and replied: “Noel Gallagher and Bono. It’s just them two at the moment who’ve got under me skin. They can just fucking table tennis it back and forth.”

Do say: Corrective statements regarding threats to stab Sacha Baron Cohen (“He said I was gonna stab him in one eye, but I said two”).

Don’t say: Inventive swearwords to policemen at 7am on Oxford Street, even with poor-quality drugs in your pocket.