I was ready to strangle the little shits.

Couple of meetings to call into, handful of emails to send. All I needed was a few hours of quiet.

And I couldn’t even get that.

Our three boys were home from school on spring break. My wife and I had decided that they were old enough to semi-care for themselves. Since we both work from home 1/4 to 1/2 of our time, they’d be fine. No need to send them to camp or to grandma’s.

We were wrong.

Day 1 and I was ready to ship them off to anywhere that would take them. My wife was at one of her clients’ office for the day, and I was home. All I needed was a few hours to myself, and I couldn’t even get 15 minutes.

Dad, I’m hungry.

Dad, can you drive me to Micah’s house?

Dad, my frisbee is stuck in the tree.

Dad, my bike tires are flat.

Dad, how does nuclear fusion work?

The tipping point was, “Dad, come quick!” Interpreting the excitement in his voice as panic, I rushed downstairs to the basement, taking three steps at a time. “Check out this new dance move on Fortnite!”