AOC Declares Stalin Was Actually Center-Right

U.S.—Addressing a crowd earlier this week, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez declared that Joseph Stalin was actually a conservative or at least a center-right kind of guy.

"Nobody was actually on the left in Soviet Russia -- Stalin was center or center-conservative," she said. "Did Stalin have a Green New Deal? I don't think so. And he referred to people with binary pronouns, not to mention the lack of drag queen story hours in the gulags."

Ocasio-Cortez also criticized the Soviet Union's lack of free broadband internet and Obamaphones, blaming the society's deficiencies on Stalin "being such an ignorant, bigoted right-winger." "All historians agree that the Soviets were held back from becoming a leftist utopia by Stalin's conservative policies."

One interviewer pointed out that Stalin was general secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, but Ocasio-Cortez would not be mansplained to. "Stop catcalling me," she said, snapping her fingers in a Z formation. "I am a brave, strong, woman of color, and any criticism of me is just because of white male fragility." The interviewer was a black woman.

She said a more leftist leader could have been chosen, but the country's elections were meddled with by Putin.

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