It’s a question you’ve undoubtedly wrestled with if you’re watching HBO’s buzzy hit Succession: Am I… attracted… to one of these genuine monsters?

Oh God, I absolutely am. (If your honest answer is "no, they are all terrible," congrats on having healthy life boundaries.)

Sniffing out just how embarrassed you should be to find one of these fictional dumbos crushable can be a process: a joke comment to a friend, testing the waters in your Succession group chat, an "ironic" tweet Sunday night, etc.

That’s where this guide comes in.

Below, we ranked all the major characters on Succession based on crush-worthiness, from best to Connor. And just to keep this as objective as possible, we've included a handy-dandy point system to keep track of each character's pros and cons.

Where does your crush fall?

Gerri

J. Smith-Cameron as Gerri Killman on 'Succession' Image: Graeme Hunter / HBO

Quite possibly the smartest person on this entire show +50

Can fix any problem, smooth over any bump, clean up any spill +10

Had judgment-free phone sex with Roman and then moved on with her life. V chill! +5

I mean, she’s still a shitty person, just like everyone else here -10

GERRI'S TOTAL: 55

Cousin Greg

Nicholas Braun as Greg Hirsch on 'Succession' Image: Peter Kramer / HBO

Very tall +5

Has a fun outsider naiveté that keeps things light +10

Smart enough to hold on to some blackmail papers in case he can’t trust Tom +10

But dumb enough to put his blackmail papers in a folder marked "Secret" -5

Is still pretty horrible, he just seems less horrible compared to everyone else -5

GREG'S TOTAL: 15

Willa

Justine Lupe as Willa on 'Succession' Image: Zach Dilgard / HBO

No amount of money will convince her to be Connor's girlfriend. Attagirl! +20

Writes boring plays you may have to watch -10

And that might give you sand mites(!) -10

Great dresses, great hair +10

WILLA'S TOTAL: 10

Roman

Kieran Culkin as Roman Roy on 'Succession' Image: Peter Kramer / HBO

Gerri likes him. That's gotta count for something, right? +10

Admittedly pretty funny in a tense situation +10

Has some sexual hangups you’re going to have to deal with -5

Bullied a kid with a check for a million dollars for the fun of it -10

Definitely does not know how much a gallon of milk costs -5

ROMAN'S TOTAL: 0

Shiv

Sarah Snook as Shiv Roy on 'Succession' Image: Graeme Hunter / HBO

Told her husband immediately after their wedding ceremony that she didn’t think monogamy was for her -10

Not as smart as she thinks she is -5

Still, smarter than most of these bozos +10

Impeccable taste in office wear and haircuts +10

Terrible taste in men -5

SHIV'S TOTAL: 0

Kendall

Jeremy Strong as Kendall Roy on 'Succession' Image: Graeme Hunter / HBO

HE KILLED SOMEONE -100

Terrible father, husband, brother, friend, business partner, boss, employee -20

Literally our waking nightmare because of that time he gutted Vaulter -10

Jeremy Strong is an incredible actor tho +10

Other people also have this trash crush so you’re not alone +15

He’s just... so sad, you guys +100

KENDALL'S TOTAL: -5

Nan Pierce

Cherry Jones as Nan Pierce on 'Succession' Image: Peter Kramer / HBO

Played by the legendary Cherry Jones +10

Her family seems to like her more than the Roys like Logan +5

However, her family seems almost as terrible as the Roys -20

Her news organization reports actual news, which is more than we can say for some news organizations around here +5

Probably loves Downton Abbey for the exact wrong reasons -10

NAN'S TOTAL: -10

Stewy

Arian Moayed as Stewy Hosseini on 'Succession' Image: Peter Kramer / HBO

Unlike some people, did not have a major business deal derailed by a drug-fueled car accident that led to the death of an innocent person +5

Made a half-hearted attempt to reach out to Kendall as a friend +5

Always looks sharp! +10

Maybe too sharp? Is this like a Patrick Bateman situation? -10

Also, that major business deal hasn’t actually gone anywhere yet -20

STEWY'S TOTAL: -10

Rhea

Holly Hunter as Rhea Jarrell on 'Succession' Image: Peter Kramer / HBO

Smart enough to get on a winning train +5

Sly enough to play both sides in case she picked the wrong train +5

Maybe hooking up with Logan Roy -5

Absolutely do not trust this lady under any circumstances -20

RHEA'S TOTAL: -15

Logan

Brian Cox as Logan Roy on 'Succession' Image: Graeme Hunter / HBO

Extremely rich +20

Creative enough to invent Boar on the Floor +15

Powerful enough to make other people play Boar on the Floor +10

Just watching Boar on the Floor was the worst thing that’s ever happened to us and we weren’t even there -20

Is so emotionally abusive that you actually start to feel sorry for the sentient dung heaps he calls his children -50

LOGAN'S TOTAL: -25

Tom

Matthew Macfadyen as Tom Wambsgans on 'Succession' Image: Zach Dilgard / HBO

Dead ringer for Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice +5

Makes a sincere, if self-serving, effort with Shiv +20

Broke the Fly Guy code - 10

Two words: human furniture -10

Not powerful enough to get into the real safe room -20

Total Wife Guy -15

TOM'S TOTAL: -30

Nate

Ashley Zukerman as Nate Sofrelli on 'Succession' Image: Ursula Coyote / HBO

Cares enough about the world to work with do-gooder politicians +10

But you just know he’s the kind of politics nut who tries to get you to listen to a podcast -15

Someone thinks he's a lot sexier than he is -10

Shiv tried playing with him. He broke. -10

Blatantly cheating on his fiancée -10

NATE'S TOTAL: -35

Connor

Alan Ruck as Connor Roy on 'Succession' Image: Ursula Coyote / HBO

Pretty house in New Mexico +5

Maybe the dumbest person on the entire show -50

A generous patron of the arts, at least if they're arts created by Willa +5

Keeps asking his escort to be his girlfriend and she keeps turning him down -20

An out-of-touch billionaire running for president on a whim -500 million

CONNOR'S TOTAL: -500,000,060