Today I was going to complain about Kickstarter and Camelot’s Unchained broken promises, but I don’t really want to talk about Mark Jacob’s webcam or really anything about that game. PAX just finished up and no one cares, so let’s move on to something everyone doesn’t want to hear about: Star Citizen, aka Chris Robert’s Vaporware BEST GAME EVER.

Now, before we begin this crusade, let me highlight that I’m no troll and I’m not making the point the game will never release, even though it might not. I’m making a very clear point that it is in Chris Robert’s best interests to never release the game and continue the delays. The latest patch delay is another example in the long history of delays the game has faced to coax more money out of its founders, those gentle members of the Cult of Star Citizen.

First, let’s talk about the dogfighting module. It was supposed to be launched December of last year, but was delayed until June of this year. It’s now September and we’re having delays on the newest battlegrounds. If you haven’t seen the dogfighting simulator or “Arena Commander” then you haven’t missed much, it’s a buggy almost unplayable simulator with the most barebones of everything, including horrible controls.

Without the ability to play against players, it is pretty simplistic gameplay right now.

Maskedgamer via YouTube

These delays come rapidly, over and over again, with every single update. It can range from a month to a six months to more of delays while features like towels are added to the hangar module. Even these delayed updates are just… micro-updates filled with some random content they’re rolling out and more stuff to sell in the store.

It’s so hilariously transparent that this isn’t about making a game anymore, but more so about exploiting a community of zealous fans who will spend as much money as humanly possible to make sure that they’re right. Chris Roberts tapped into a group of extremely proud loyal warriors who will fight the good fight for the game, and take any blow as a success - nay a victory.

And this was supposed to come out in December, so they are way way behind.

- Maskedgamer via YouTube

The harsh reality is that Chris Roberts isn’t making vaporware, he’s making cash. He’s making a lot of it and the community is fully supporting his actions, like some kind of weird religion where paying to Chris Roberts absolves you of your sins buying lollypops in Candy Crush Saga.

What’s going to happen is the game is going to drag along as long as humanly possible and they’re going to delay that point where you can get a full and accurate feel of the various spaceships and the actual combat. Even now, the Arena Commander module is nothing more than a tech demo and the community will jump down your throat in half a heartbeat if you dare try to comment on it as anything but an example of what is to come.

Me? My money is still in my pocket. I’m a smart enough adult to know when a man has enough money to finish something and to just swoop in when it’s done and spend my money if it’s worth it. Otherwise, I’ll sit right here and wait. This isn’t about making sure there is enough money to make this a reality anymore, it’s about profit and extending the amount of money Chris Roberts can make before he even produces anything.

It’s definitely better than having the hangar module.

- Maskedgamer via YouTube.

For the record and I will argue this point with ANYONE, but in the time that they’ve had, the amount of progress they could have made so far should be exponentially more than what they have. If you want proof of malingering, then the proof is in the pudding - the fact that in the two years since the finish of the project this November, only two components have been launched, yet the full official alpha for the complete game was promised for November 2014.

Basically, if all of this is too confusing: Chris Roberts is making bank and his cult is pretty much buying into a fantasy, and these game delays are ultimately just more examples of how the road to victory for Star Citizen is far, far in the horizon, dragging the game on to get as much money out of its fans as possible before delivering the actual product to them.