At 6:45 last night, Donald Trump promised me and my radio listeners a “beautiful, tight, long night.”

By 10 o’clock, he’d proven himself a man of his word.

The morning stock market futures were down 500-plus points.

The anchor desk at the Clinton News Network looked like someone had just run over its new puppy.

Megyn Kelly looked like she must have looked the day Roger Ailes was chasing her around the desk on Sixth Avenue and asking her when her contract was up.

Mark Cuban hadn’t tweeted in, like, 10 hours.

It was the curse of Jon Bon Jovi — remember, he was the featured entertainment for John Kerry (that’s President John Kerry to you, sucker) on election night 2004.

Guess who was scheduled to play for Hillary last night?

Grief counselors were being deployed onto Facebook — cyber belts and shoelaces were being confiscated from the trust fund crowd.

“How are we looking in New Hampshire?” Donald Trump had asked me hours earlier.

Pretty good, I said, not lying, as events progressed.

The Reagan Democrats were coming home. It’s like in the second debate, when Hillary Clinton was quoting Abraham Lincoln. It’s just that she got the wrong quote from Honest Abe.

“You can fool some of the people all of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.”

This was our last chance. If Hillary won … Nobody even wanted to think about it all day.

Open borders, the TPP, rampant corruption and no grand juries, no subpoenas, a totally defanged FBI. It would be a banana republic — even more of a banana republic than it has been these past eight years. Ann Coulter sounded down in the dumps yesterday afternoon. Even Rudy Giuliani was talking like he was on

Prozac.

Never, ever believe exit polls.

It’s been a loooooong time since the last Republican victory, in 2004. I was beginning to think John Kerry was going to become a Final Jeopardy question.

“Who was the last Democrat presidential candidate to be defeated by a Republican?”

All these years of nail-biting presidential elections. Even 1988 — didn’t America dodge a bullet with M. Stanley Dukakis? Way too close. Then came the Clintons, bad, but survivable.

Then 2000 — another nail-biter, only this one lasted for seven weeks. Al Gore, oh my God! And finally, in 2008, our luck ran out. Divine Providence abandoned us.

Last night, I was at the Trump Victory Party at F1 in Braintree. There was a teacher from Brookline High with me. I asked him how bleak it was going to be in the corridors this morning.

He thought for a moment.

“Like Bush-Gore in 2000,” he finally said. “Times 10.”

I told Trump that social media had exploded Monday night when he announced that he’d been endorsed by Bill Belichick. Nobody cared when Big Papi came out for Hillary, but this was the end of the world.

Until the results started coming in last night. Then the world really ended. One of those RINO-types was on MSNBC, tut-tutting about the end of NATO or some such thing. Like anybody cared!

George Will … Karl Rove … how about Mitt Romney? What if Mitt’s home state of Michigan would be the one to put Trump over the top?

I remember election night 1980, when Reagan crushed Carter. I went up to one of the editors in the Herald newsroom and told him, “Tonight, Somerville crushes Cambridge.”

Last night, it was the Deplorables with the W — ’80 was big. This was bigger.

Listen to Howie 3-7 p.m. on WRKO AM 680.