I was working over a few topic ideas here at 3am in the morning (like a nutcase), when I came across an editorial that was released at 12:30am on The Intelligencer website. I could tell it was going to be a negative article from the start, but as always, it’s better to read your opponent’s work. I’d never heard of this NYU student (although I noticed he retweets Movie Bob…a lot), but I figured it would at least be a somewhat boring and competent hit piece on our community. What I read instead, was a hysterically bad and inaccurate piece of whiny garbage. It’s so bad, that I figured this thing needed to be immortalized. It’s that fucking terrible.

First, we have this passage. It’s not horrible, although not exactly spectacular, either. Then again, I’m not Hemingway myself, so it’s fine lol (here’s the full editorial, if you want to read it):

“The furthest memory I have as a child is walking into Best Buy and seeing the Nintendo 64, proudly displayed like the Holy Grail it was. Most of my disposable income has gone to an ever-growing wall of video games, spanning five consoles and three handhelds. I wrote mycollege essay about the artistic and intellectual impact the game “BioShock” had on me. Before anything, I was a gamer. Of any artistic form, gaming is the one that excites me the most, the one that presents the most unique opportunities for creative expression.”

OK, this seems to be your standard intro. He throws out a little bit of nostalgia and talks about his experience. Nothing major, like I said.

“That is exactly why all of this hurts, why GamerGate — a six-month barrage of hatred, bile and terror that has descended on an industry that once seemed so bright and so hopeful — burns in my brain.”

Now we start to see him get nasty. He even used bile, which is a word I like to use myself. “WE’VE BURNED INTO HIS BRAIN!” FUCK, we’re some evil motherfuckers. I’m scared of what a badass I’ve become (as I sit here at what’s now 4:49am, in my pajamas typing). What’s this dude’s name, anyway?

“Carter Glace”

That explains a lot. Moving along…

“For the uninformed, #GamerGate began in August as a self-proclaimed crusade against “corruption in video game journalism,” rallying behind Eron Gjoni, who posted a deranged manifesto of sorts accusing his ex, Zoe Quinn, of cheating on him to get better reviews for her game “Depression Quest.” But in reality, it is a campaign of terrorism. Not the grassroots movement the supporters claim it is, but rather a calculated, long-in-the-works effort to erase unwanted diversity in the medium.”

I didn’t think Eron’s “manifesto” was deranged at all. I don’t know if I would have done that, but I would have considered it. Actually, I may have done something far more ill-advised, had my girlfriend cheated on me with Five Guys, and lied and manipulated me the way she did Eron. Frankly, I admire the man’s restraint. Zoe should be thanking her lucky stars that he’s a mild-mannered fellow. Not everyone is.

What is this asshole Glace spewing now?

“While the leaders of the movement haven’t been pinpointed, we know they and their swarm of followers convene on the websites 4chan and 8chan, and the movement has picked up support from right-wing celebrities and personalities with a wide range of notoriety (Adam Baldwin is credited with coining the Twitter hashtag #GamerGate). Efforts include death threats, posting detractors’ bank account and address information, threatening school shootings, spamming people with child pornography and harassing transgender people into suicidal thoughts. All the while, the anonymous leaders calculate every move, helping Gjoni write his letter, figuring out ways to defend themselves from critics and excommunicating members who take offense to the group’s rampant racism and sexism (they’ve done a very poor job covering their conversations).”

Wait, what? He thinks we helped Eron write his letter? And there are no leaders, but there’s certainly many well-known GamerGate members who are quite open with their identity (Adam Baldwin, RogueSate, Milo, I am as well). And what’s with the list of crimes he accuses us of without any evidence whatsoever? This is where I started to think this guy was nuts.

Modern gaming specializes in one type of protagonist: men. The white, grizzled, infallible, stoic, single-minded badasses.

AH I SEE! White men are the problem. Fuck, why didn’t you just say so at the start of the shitpiece? Ah, I guess that would ruin the ride through Psycho Town. Good point, voice in my head. Fine. What has the evil white man done now?

That problem has permeated the media for years, painting the white male as the perfect hero, but it is an issue that is slowly being corrected. When you spend decades presenting exclusively male, heterosexual, white protagonists, you subliminally assert them as “correct,” meaning anyone who doesn’t fit that mold is “incorrect.” And the often-overzealous reaction to progressiveness in media comes from the realization that the privilege of being “correct” in the cultural eye is no longer a given.

I’ve never had a “get rid of ’em” reaction to a non-white character in my life. If had some non-white characters I didn’t like because they were written to be shitty people or you weren’t supposed to like them. But I have zero problems with minority or females in AAA games. One of my favorite games of all-time is The Last of Us. Fuck any idiot who tries to lie about my taste, or GamerGate’s, for that matter.

“And that is where this gaming problem meets society’s problem. “Gamer,” as we know it, goes hand-in-hand with what a “man” is. For decades, we have established emotionally void, stoic, aggressive, patriarchal men as what’s “correct” — and this same vision of being a hero exists for gamers. [A]fter years and years of making “gamers” and “men” feel special, important and unique, these gamers see efforts to change that culture as a threat to their identity, claiming they are the victims. In reality, the masculinity we have established has become toxic, volatile, dangerous. Don’t believe me? Let me ask you: Have you noticed how many recent mass shootings have been carried out by white adult males?”

Here we go. Glace just went to complete #FullMcIntosh status. He couldn’t resist talking about school shootings. I submit to you a theory, and it’s that any real fan of video games, will not casually link it to mass murders without a single bit of evidence. That’s just a thought I had, though. Feel free to ignore it.

As for this editorial, I’m just gonna print a shortened version of the ending here. It’s a lot longer than I remembered when reading it, and this guy is a completely insufferable. I hope no one that read this actually thought that he had any idea what was going on.

“But instead of evolving with the rest of society, they have regressed, become bitter, angry. They turn to the Internet, which paradoxically allows more diverse voices of forward progress but also allows poisonous ideas to stay alive…. And now they are lashing out, Gaters, through the anonymity of the Internet, and others, through unspeakable violence in places like Aurora, Sandy Hook, Santa Barbara…And gaming continues to feed this toxic masculinity, ensuring it won’t die soon, all but ensuring many more will be hurt. I love gaming, but slowly and surely, gaming has stopped loving me. The industry I grew up with has slowly eroded, leaving a wasteland of bitterness spewed by those society left behind as companies once driven by inclusiveness and innovation now peddle anger… We cannot have equal wages, unbiased policing, marriage equality or an end to the epidemic of trans suicides as long as the poisonous forces of the past are able to remain afloat and assert their vision of a society they control. I just want gaming to be fun again, but I realize more and more, the beasts we created won’t let that happen.”

So, we have to leave behind video games, in order to realize a progressive utopia. What kind of shit is this? Does anyone really think this prick has ever even picked up a video game? Brianna Wu doesn’t sound this crazy. OK, she does, but still. This guy is totally disconnected from reality. Not only does he make some insane charges against Eron, but he also ties GaerGate in with school shootings. I guess it’s a good thing he’s a nobody, but this newspaper has a circulation of 40,000. That’s not huge, but we should still request that they change the record here on a couple things. He’s free to write nonsense, but some of that crossed over into outright falsehood. Do the right thing, Intelligencer. On that note, I’m going to sleep. I’ll see you guys in the morning.