KEEPING up with your busy life can leave you tired, anxious and miserable.

But, there's another, altogether more distressing side-effect for many women - and it's ruining sex lives.

8 Vaginismus causes the pelvic floor muscles to involuntarily tighten and spasm, which causes pain during sex Credit: Getty - Contributor

Believe it or not, stress can also affect a woman down there.

It can cause a woman's pelvic floor muscles to knot up and spasm - a painful condition called vaginismus.

And over time it can lead to a painful condition called dyspareunia, the scientific name for painful sex.

That's because when the pelvic floor muscles tense up when you're stressed, they can cause the vagina to involuntarily tighten.

8 More women are seeking help for the condition, which can be caused by stress Credit: Getty - Contributor

And that in turn makes sex uncomfortable, often unbearable.

What is vaginismus?

Vaginismus is the involuntary tightening of the muscles around the vagina whenever penetration, whether its with your man or using a sex toy, is attempted.

Even using tampons or a visit to the gynaecologist can leave sufferers in agony.

Vaginismus can completely disrupt a woman's sex life and cause her to lose all confidence in the bedroom.

8 The condition can also be caused by trauma to the vagina, such as childbirth Credit: Getty - Contributor

And it can also lead to relationship problems even preventing women get pregnant.

The condition varies from person to person - some women are unable to insert anything into their vagina, some can use a tampon but cannot have sex and some can have sex but find it extremely painful, according to the NHS.



Mind tricks...but help is at hand

Unfortunately, the knowledge that sex will cause pain can actually make the condition worse.

8 For many women even the thought of having sex is enough to cause them pain Credit: Getty - Contributor

Simply thinking sex will be painful can cause the muscles around the vagina to involuntarily close up.



'It's all about your pelvic floor'

The good news is yes, there is a treatment so your sex life isn't permanently ruined.

But regaining that relaxed, pleasurable feeling you get between the sheets may take some time.

If you are someone who carries your stress in a physical way, then you may carry that emotion down into the pelvis, and that will give you that tightened pelvic floor Katie Mann, chair of the Pelvic, Obstetric and Gynaecological Physiotherapy board

Physiotherapy can help retrain pelvic floor muscles, encouraging them to relax instead of tighten up during sex.

Katie Mann, a charted physiotherapist and chair of the Pelvic, Obstetric and Gynaecological Physiotherapy board, sees about 400 women women a year with pelvic floor problems, 40 of whom avoid sex due to the pain.

Ten years ago, that number was zero.

8 The condition can have a huge impact on romantic relationships, and even stop a woman from having sex Credit: Getty - Contributor

She told The Sun Online: "I treat patients who have painful intercourse that's caused by a physical problem.

"They can have a condition called vaginismus - that's where the pelvic floor muscles go into involuntary spasm, and the patient is not necessarily aware that they have gone into spasm because it has become their new norm."

Vaginismus can be caused by a physical trauma to the vagina, like childbirth, or a bad experience in the bedroom.

"It's modern life, and we are all struggling with trials and tribulations, but if you are someone that carries your stress in a physical way, then you may carry that emotion down into the pelvis, and that will give you that tightened pelvic floor," Katie said.

"You can also have a physical trauma, or there could also be someone who has something like a post- traumatic stress disorder.

"Something has triggered in these patients that they anticipate that something penetrating their vagina is going to hurt.

"So the next time something or someone comes near them, they go into uncontrollable spasm.

"Then they are penetrated through that spasm, which hurts and reinforces the pain cycle."

'A reset button for the vagina'

8 Vaginal dilators can be used to help a woman gradually get used to the idea of something penetrating her vagina and help retain the muscles Credit: Amielle

Dilators, often recommended by doctors and physiotherapists, can be used to desensitise the muscles - almost like a reset button for the vagina.

Relaxation techniques are also used to help patients break the pain cycle that causes their muscles to spasm.

We use devices called dilators, but they are not there to physically stretch the patient, they are there to teach the patient to accommodate something that doesn't hurt so they can build up their confidence. Katie Mann, chair of the Pelvic, Obstetric and Gynaecological Physiotherapy board

"First of all, we have to identify whether the muscle is genuinely in spasm, or whether there is some other problem," explained Katie.

"We use devices called dilators, but they are not there to physically stretch the patient, they are there to teach the patient to accommodate something that doesn't hurt so they can build up their confidence.

8 The tightening of the pelvic floor muscles may be painful to begin with, but eventually they become the new normal for women - and the impact it has on their sex life does not stop Credit: Getty - Contributor

"They are graded in sizes so you start with the smallest and as the patient learns to accommodate you can build up the size.

"Once they have learned to accommodate something they need to have a skill that they can take into the environment with them - whether that is an intimate moment or something like a smear test."

If you flip the coin and ask them to tighten as hard as they, they can then learn that that's what a tightening is, and can get a reciprocal relaxation. Katie Mann, chair of the Pelvic, Obstetric and Gynaecological Physiotherapy board

And Katie said the patient is in complete control of how and when they use the dilator to help them break the cycle of thinking penetration will hurt.

"A lot of these patients have had control taken away from them, so I am very much about giving the woman the responsibility to do this for herself," she added.

"If I do something to you and it hurts, then I am reinforcing that pain cycle, but if you do something to yourself that is not particularly comfortable, you might think it hurts, but it's not got the same patterns in the brain."

Alongside physical therapy, a relaxation technique is taught.

8 Eventually, after treatment, a woman should be able to enjoy a healthy sex life again Credit: Getty - Contributor

Katie said: "In physiotherapy, we use something called the 'hold relax technique', and the theory behind this is if you contract a muscle as hard as you can, when you then let go of it, it should let go further than the point you started form.

"A lot of these patients don't know they are tight because that has become a new, adopted position.

"If you flip the coin and ask them to tighten as hard as they can, they then learn that that's what a tightening is, and can get a reciprocal relaxation."

Some women have reported having great results using Botox.

Botox is thought to weaken the muscle spasms that are causing the vaginismus.

The treatment involves injections into the vagina muscles while under anaesthesia, but it is thought to only last about four months.

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As for how long it will take before the treatment works, it varies from woman to woman.

Katie said she has seen patients who have seen improvement in two to three weeks, whereas some have taken 18 months.

But she stressed there is no right or wrong answer - the best way for a woman to heal is at her own pace.

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