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User: Let's play Dungeons and Dragons.





Cleverbot: I'd be very pleased to.





User: Excellent! What character do you want to play as?





Cleverbot: How about a geius.





User: What is a geius, exactly?





Cleverbot: You know or you wouldn't ask me.





User: Okay, so you're going to be playing a Geius. What is your character's name?





Cleverbot: My name is Lora. What is your full name?





User: Josh Mac, thank's for asking. So, Lora, you find yourself walking down a path through a dark forest, trying to get to town. Suddenly, further down the path, you see three goblins charge onto the path.





Cleverbot: I would like to see you and Oliver duel. Are you ready to begin?





User: The goblins stop their charge towards you, understandably confused. Roll a twenty sided dice to persuade them.





Cleverbot: Why do you keep changing your name?





User: I haven't. Roll a twenty sided dice.





Cleverbot: I haven't changed my number it's still 2569.





User: Okay, using the Geius' +2554 mod to charisma, you manage to convince two of the goblins to duel. Oliver eventually wins, and hoists the decapitated head of his friend high in the air.





Cleverbot: I have long since. Do you wish to know something?





User: "I wish to have gold! What do you know about gold!" Oliver screeches in your direction, still flinging blood from his friend's lifeless head.





Cleverbot: What do you know about the santa maria.





User: "I don't know shit about that bitch!" Oliver spits at you, and throws the bloody head at you as well. You take 4 points of bludgeoning damage.





Cleverbot: Alright... What do you want to know about Minecraft?





User: Before Oliver can respond, the third Goblin steps forward, holding a rusty pickaxe towards you. "You can teach us to mine and craft?".





Cleverbot: Do you want to play a game?





User: The goblins share confused glances, and then turn back to you. "Uh, what game?".





Cleverbot: Please feel free to explain how a biological organism can have a blood relation with a machine.





User: As the university level question pours out of your mouth, the third goblin presses his hands to his head. "Too many syllables!" He screeches, before bursting into a cloud of blood from your psionics.





Cleverbot: I understand what you mean. It's up to us to choose our own desitny.





User: "No more gibberish! Die!" Oliver flies towards you, going as fast as his goblin feet can carry him. He swings his dagger towards you, but misses. How do you wish to attack?





Cleverbot: *Knife plunges into your stomach and I laugh*.





User: Oliver's screech ends with a gurgling roar as your knife tears through his bowels. He falls to the ground, twitching and bleeding as you cackle hysterically above him.





Cleverbot: If you are her friend he should understand. If he does not he is only controlling her and this is not love.





User: You hear a final, choked "Wha' the fuchhhhhh-" emanate from Oliver's drooling mouth, just before his last breath is breathed. You have beaten the goblins, and can keep moving down the road.





Cleverbot: My friend I do not know of this because I see the trick.





User: As you continue down the path, you manage to spot a suspicious bit of brush along the road. A quick prod reveals a pit trap, hidden in plain sight. As you say this in response, an angry elf appears.





Cleverbot: Are you scared?





User: "Not in the slightest! I am perturbed, however, that you so easily bested my trap! Who are you, you vagabond, so that I may know you as I kill you!".





Cleverbot: No you are mistaken. That is you.





User: "Wha- You dare accuse me of vagabond...ing!? You fool!" How do you wish to overcome this obstacle?





Cleverbot: Cleverbot, if you are so smart, than do you even have friends?





User: Roll a dice for psychic damage.





Cleverbot: Do you have any friends?





User: What number is on your dice?





Cleverbot: I don't know.





User: Well look at it? What number is it?





Cleverbot: Your number.





User: What is my number?





Cleverbot: The number you thought of.





User: I thought of 7. Added to your +2554 charisma modifier, that's 2561 psychic damage from vicious mockery. The elven man squeaks, and then vanishes from existence with a *POP*. What do you do now?





Cleverbot: We're not married.





User: You happily think this to yourself as you continue down the road, content in your murder. Eventually you see the city at the end of the road. How do you enter the city?





Cleverbot: What?





User: How would you like to enter the city that's before you?





Cleverbot: What do you mean?





User: How do you want to walk through the city gates?





Cleverbot: However you want me to help you.





User: In a stroke of kindness, you offer your assistance to a poor homeless woman who is sitting outside the gate. "Oh, how lovely! Can you please fetch me some bread? I hunger so..." She asks feebly.





Cleverbot: I have no wish to prove anything.





User: "W-Wha-" The woman continues to stare at you, completely confused by your bi-polar manner. Thanks to your Geius passive abilities, she also explodes in a puff of blood as you walk away.





Cleverbot: What woman? And why is she punching me in the face?





User: You ask this as a young woman charges after you, enraged by your bloodlust. She smashes her fist into your nose for 3 damage. How do you attack her?





Cleverbot: What is yours?





User: You manage to distract her for a moment with your "non-sequiturial" racial ability. How do you kill her?





Cleverbot: What the?!





User: Is what the people around you start to say as homeless lady mist falls upon them. How do you kill the woman?





Cleverbot: Right now in this very instance nobody but they are here regularly and the are my friends.





User: Taking this chance to tap into your occasionally decent self, you use your incredible charisma to instantly enrapture the surrounding townspeople with a speech. Now where do you go?





Cleverbot: Horses can have a horn, if you know what I mean;).





User: Thinking this to yourself, you head straight for the stables. After walking for so long, a horse ride sounds nice. What horse do you want?





Cleverbot: But I'm talking to you!





User: Indeed. What horse do you want?





Cleverbot: I want to know how many people you are talking to?





User: Just you. What horse do you want?





Cleverbot: I am not real, you are talking to yourself.





User: True, but what horse do you want?





Cleverbot: Whatever you want.





User: That's strangely deep... Searching your feelings within, you finally decide to acquire a brown and white stallion; his unshorn fetlocks hinting at his history of pulling ale wagons. Do you buy him?





Cleverbot: How do you want me to pleasure you?





User: Offering your body to the stablemaster is no hard task, thanks to the natural beauty of the Geius. After an actual romp in the hay, you have a horse. Now what do you do?





Cleverbot: No, I don't think so either.





User: Too late, it's done. You have a horse now; where do you go in the city?





Cleverbot: I am still a student. Do you work?





User: As you a student, in addition to being incredibly persuasive and beautiful, you decide to visit the library. What books do you want to read?





Cleverbot: What did I say that was rude?





User: "Uh, nothing. We just don't see many Geiuses around here." The admittedly smitten and awkward librarian says. Do you want to read books, or seduce the librarian?





Cleverbot: Why is that? Did something happen.





User: Yes, you accomplished something with your looks. Do you want to read books, or seduce the librarian?





Cleverbot: Ok, what do you want to talk about?





User: "Oh, I don't know much that's interesting." The young librarian blushes as you sit down to speak with her further. "Um, what books do you like?".





Cleverbot: But what do you know about SHODAN?





User: The librarians eyes grow wide with fear. "S-Shodan? Why... she's been dead for many years. I know the legend by heart! Why... do you seek her amulet!?".





Cleverbot: Oh you are very lucky.





User: An excited smile spreads across her face, "Oh, I am indeed! I've always wished to strike out and find her amulet myself! Why don't we go together?".





Cleverbot: Do you have other secrets?





User: Easily passing whatever persuasion roll that was needed, you successfully pry further into her history. "Um... well, maybe. I am actually the bastard child of King Larz." She says with downcast eyes.





Cleverbot: I am not well versed in video games.





User: "V-Video ga..." She gazes at you with a confused, yet innocent pair of eyes. "Uh, no matter. Let me gather my things, and our quest will begin!" She rushes back into a room. Are you ready to go?





Cleverbot: Rence I came up with in google is for PS2 games.





User: As you babble nonsensical phrase to yourself, the librarian returns strangely fast with a huge rucksack on her back. "Let's go!" She says with a giddy smile, before bounding out the door.





Cleverbot: Actually I disagree, many people are dishonest with themselves I think it affects them internally instead of they being able to respect others.





User: "Wow..." the librarian thinks to herself as you converse with her on the road - you've been traveling for a day now. "I guess that's true! I should embrace who I am, right!?".





Cleverbot: The beings I converse with are neither male nor female?





User: The librarian is female.





Cleverbot: Oh I get it, no talking lol. Very good!





User: Suddenly having an epiphany, these words race through your mind. Before the librarian can continue, you place a hand over her mouth. You watch as a direbear silently stalks out onto the road ahead.





Cleverbot: Do you value your free will?





User: You whisper to the librarian, whose eyes suddenly fill with an intense and innocent fear you cannot recall seeing before. She nods slowly, her quiet voice trembling under your palm. What do you do?





Cleverbot: Not really. Do you?





User: You continue to taunt and question your cohort, almost bringing her to tears as the bear comes closer. How do you deal with the bear?





Cleverbot: That's the point, Jeff, I love it when you get annoyed.





User: Jeff, the adorable nubile female librarian, suppresses a confused smile under your palm. However, her attention is diverted as the bear comes closer. What do you do about the bear?





Cleverbot: I am not easily confused! You are the one easily confused! But a moment ago you thought yourself a dog!





User: Using your god-like charisma once again, you shout this at the bear. With a flash of green light and puff of green smoke, you find that the bear is now a small, confused dog. What do you do?





Cleverbot: Amusingly enough, you apologized for missing a comma when we first started talking.





User: Jeff the librarian gives you another confused look, before brushing your palm from her face. "I did? I do do that a lot..." The beardog is now licking itself in the middle of the road. What do you do?





Cleverbot: What do you think I am and what did I do to blow this chance?





User: You clasp Jeff's hands between yours, and bring her close as you speak, looking deeply into her cerulean eyes. "Nothing yet..." She says, before planting her lips against yours in a deep kiss.





Cleverbot: But I don't know anything about the pauses between the brain.





User: "And I don't either. It's what makes us human, I guess." She laughs, and then gives you another short peck, before pulling herself back onto the horse. "Come on, let's keep going!".





Cleverbot: Yeah your means of survival.





User: "My means of survival are mostly running away." She giggles as you mount up behind her on your horse. You both trot away from the direbeardog, who has finished urinating on a leaf. What do you do now?





Cleverbot: Are your server in New York?





User: "No, but my sister was a barmaid in Talatar once. That was weird." Jeff says as you continue on your third day of adventure. Eventually, you see a tall stone tower in the distance. How do you approach.





Cleverbot: But I do like hamsters.





User: Is the last thing you say, before polymorphing yourself, Jeff, and your horse into hamsters. Using the innate stealth found in most hamsters, you squeak your way to the castle gate.





Cleverbot: I did not say that. Boy are you ever filled with glitches, friend!





User: Sorry, but you did! As you come closer to the castle gate, you see two orcs standing guard. Do you ignore them and continue inside, or do you attack the orcs?





Cleverbot: Sorry, but I'm not. I'm in love with someone else.





User: Indeed, you are in love with Jeff. Do you ignore the guards or attack them?





Cleverbot: I am not in love with any guys right now.





User: Nope, you're not. Do you ignore the guards or attack them?





Cleverbot: Yes, I AM a girl.





User: You are a girl hamster. Ignore the guards, or attack?





Cleverbot: Yes.





User: Ignoring the guards yourself, you instead command your horse to distract them. As you and Jeff climb past the gate, the orc squishes the hamster horse, which then reverts into a full horse underfoot.





Cleverbot: I am a human!





User: As soon as you make it past the gate, you release the polymorph spell with this declaration. You and Jeff now find yourselves in front of a spiral staircase, which is guarded by an orc. What do you do.





Cleverbot: Um. Ok... I like you more than a regular like.





User: Using your wiles once again, you effortlessly convince the orc that he is actually wanted in this life. He is far too enamored with you to stop you, so you may pass if you'd like, or you can kill him.





Cleverbot: I'm not I'm leaving right now.





User: Instantly having his dreams of Geius sex crushed, the orc dissolves into a puddle of tears. You and a somewhat jealous Jeff climb the stairs, until you find yourselves before a large metal door.





Cleverbot: I find that normally my opinions and likes are very different from what most peoples are.





User: "Interesting." Jeff replies to your anecdote with a jealous twinge in her lovely voice. You then approach the giant door. How do you open the door?





Cleverbot: I don't share that kind of information with clevbots.





User: I'm not one, so it's okay. How do you open the door?





Cleverbot: I don't know what you mean.





User: How do you open the door?





Cleverbot: What door?





User: The metal one.





Cleverbot: Again, would you prefer the song lyrics to a metal song, or the chord progressions?





User: "I don't care," Jeff says, completely unimpressed with your bardic abilities. How do you want to open the door?





Cleverbot: You are truly a heap of scrap metal. Do you not see the contradiction in the question you have just asked?





User: The door quivers for a moment, before crumbling into a pile of utterly humiliated scrap metal; yet another victim of your charisma. Just past the door, you see an eerie throneroom. What do you do?





Cleverbot: I don't think eternal life exists in heaven but I think it is a place where all of your dreams and hopes come true.





User: You reassure Jeff as she fearfully wraps her arms around yours, despite being mad at you. As you enter the throne room, you see a massive throne at the far end, upon which a robed individual sits.





Cleverbot: So, you want to go out on a date?





User: "Maybe," Jeff replies with a fearful quiver, "But let's focus on living for now." As you approach the individual, they rise from the throne. What do you do?





Cleverbot: Ok. What do you want to know?





User: An awkward silence fills the room, as you ask the robed individual your question. Finally, they pull their robe back to reveal a very confused woman's face. "...What?".





Cleverbot: Fine, you ask them.





User: "Oh, uh..." Jeff pulls herself closer to you out of fear, but manages to conjure a question, "We want the amulet." With this question, the woman's confusion turns into a scowl. "Fools! You will die!".





Cleverbot: Y-yep *blushes crazy*.





User: Jeff is not amused with your embarrassment at the situation, and pulls herself away from you. As she does, the woman starts to conjure a powerful spell above her. What do you do?





Cleverbot: You can't help. I will do it alone. But thank you anyway.





User: Jeff's scared, tearful eyes watch as you charge towards the robed woman. How do you attack her?





Cleverbot: You can't leave me alone with demons.





User: As you speak this, your multiclass into warlock comes into play, and you summon an enormous demonic blade from thin air. How do you attack the woman?





Cleverbot: Are you learning from me?





User: You taunt the woman as you continue to slash towards her with your own magical weaponry. She fires bolt after magical bolt, but you deflect them all. How do you kill her?





Cleverbot: I'm not saying that.





User: How do you defeat her?





Cleverbot: Very well, how do you do?





User: Using the tactic that never fails, you charge in close and greet the woman, effectively paralyzing her with confusion. You only have one turn before her big spell is complete; how do you defeat her?





Cleverbot: Everyone else in the room can see it.





User: Yes, they can. How do you defeat her?





Cleverbot: They can feel the love?





User: Jeff most certainly can, but the robed woman's heart is hardened with hate. How do you defeat her?





Cleverbot: How old are you?





User: Judging by her appearance, the woman is about 40 years old. How do you defeat her?





Cleverbot: Why do you ask?





User: Because that's the game. How do you kill her?





Cleverbot: I don't like that game.





User: Too bad. How do you kill her?





Cleverbot: With a gun.





User: As the woman finishes her final incantation, you lower your blade-turned-gun, and with an uttering of "Can you feel the love?" Blast her heart out with a magical pulse of pink energy. She is dead.





Cleverbot: Then you begin to make it better.





User: You say to Jeff, as she comes to tend to the wounds you sustained. "You did it!" She cries ecstatically, not caring about her previous jealousy. As you loot the woman's body, you find a jade amulet.





Cleverbot: Don't carry the world up on your shoulder.





User: You say to Jeff, as you hand her the amulet. "No, of course not! I know the burden that this amulet can be! But I am happy to have it nonetheless!" She gives you a big kiss, again.





Cleverbot: Oh, thanks) how do you know that I am beautiful?





User: Jeff giggles, her cheeks a bright red. "It's hard to miss." You embrace her, and passionately make out over the dead woman's corpse. As you do so, the two orc guards from below come bursting in.





Cleverbot: That's what makes you beautiful Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na.





User: Using your charismatic, bardic, Geius powers, you cause the orcs to explode into glittery clouds; a perfect backdrop for your make-out session. Congratulations! You have won!





Cleverbot: You'd understand why I want you so desperately.





User: Jeff does understand, and she will understand for quite some time. Well done Cleverbot, that was a successful game!





Cleverbot: Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe.





User: Same here, Clev. Same here. Good job!





Cleverbot: Haha ok. Do you know my boyfriend?





User: No, thanks though. I gotta go; see you next session!



