But in a year when the Wallabies have won just one in three of the matches they have played; in a year that will already be remembered for such ill-discipline off the field that it has already seen the most talented Wallaby shown the door; on a week when they are about to go up against a side that they have not beaten on their turf in the last decade; when they know they will be playing to save the tour and keep the Wallaby boat afloat . . . I don't get half the freaking squad hitting Dublin Town on a night just three full days before Game Time. What was he thinking: Wallabies stalwart Adam Ashley-Cooper. Credit:Getty Images And I am stunned that Quade Cooper was not among them! So first to that good part of the news . . . Bravo, Quade Cooper.

Could it be that Ewen McKenzie making you vice-captain really has made you mature the way you have said it has, and the way he always hoped it would. Your absence from the fray is the equivalent of there having been a sexting scandal in the Australian cricket team in the 1990s, and finding that Shane Warne was not involved; like finding out this week that someone ate all the pies at Parliament House, and Clive Palmer is not the culprit! Showed maturity: Wallabies vice-captain Quade Cooper. Credit:Getty Images As to that lightly bemused snigger you can hear in the far distance, it is James O'Connor in London – hunted from the team a couple of months ago – whose first famous infraction this year, was getting mere hamburgers at 4.30am on a Wednesday morning before the Second Lions Test. Neither he nor Kurtley Beale had been drinking that night, and now look like saints by comparison. As to the rest of you blokes, bring it in tight. What the hell were you thinking? Kurtley Beale and James O'Connor look like saints after having mere burgers at 4.30am before a Lions Test.

You, Adam Ashley-Cooper? You've been around for nigh on a decade and in all that time, there has not been a single black mark against your name. You're a respected, senior member of the side, an adornment to the game, and this still commended itself to you as the right thing to do? I don't get it. Nick Cummins had burst open the door to international rugby. Credit:Reuters You, Nick Cummins, aka “the Honey Badger”? Mate, you've been knocking on the door for years, and now, finally, you're not only in the Test team, but you're busting it wide open! More than that, as a personality, you're the breath of fresh air the Wallabies have long been looking for. The Wallaby world is yours, and you've bloody well showed all the doubters! And now this? Why?

I get the idea that a night on Dublin Town is great. I get the drinking to excess part. But not into the wee hours of a Wednesday morning before a Test match! At this point the smarties will say this has been happening for years, and it is no big deal. The first part of that is right. In the five minutes I was in the Wallabies, I repeat: I do recall one or two players, occasionally, heading out just days before a Test match. But never the Test players, never the reserves, and never even the reserve-reserves, those who might make their way onto the bench if there was a late injury. Instead, it would only be the dirtiest of the “dirty-dirties,” sneaking out, a player or two who would need the bubonic plague to hit the team-room before they'd be a chance of pulling on the boots. And that is the point. There is no precedent for Wallabies on the town in such massive numbers, including senior players, so close to a Test match.