Critics say three-storey luxury ‘mega-boat’ events vessel on the Thames is part of trend of turning public waterways into private ‘amusement parks for drunks’

It’s 7.45 on a Saturday night in May and the revellers on London’s Westminster Pier are ready to get their floating party started. “What do we want?” shouts the man in shorts and feather boa next to me in the queue to board the Viscount. “Party!” his mates reply. “When do we want it?” “Now!”

Dress code? “Dress to glow in NEON or WHITE,” goes the blurb. “Make sure you bring your glow sticks.” Party duration? Four hours. Incongruous person sporting dark clothes, clenched teeth and sensible scarf, carrying notebook and noise-cancelling headphones? That’d be me.

Why don’t they just turn Tower Bridge into a nightclub too, while they’re at it?

What’s the attraction of spending four hours partying on a boat travelling up and down the Thames, I ask a hen party guest wearing a pink stetson. “Great views. Booze. Dancing. Dressing up. What’s not to like?” I make my excuses and disembark before we cast off.

The 111-year-old Viscount, whose many ordeals prior to this evening included rescuing British troops from Dunkirk, is among a growing number of vessels offering night-time revels on Britain’s rivers. Such “party boats” are a feature of many UK cities – York’s City Cruises specialises in hen parties on the River Ouse, complete with balloons, buffets and the chance to unleash your inner Beyoncé – but it is on the Thames that the rebranding of our waterways is most intense.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest The Viscount, built by Salter Bros in Oxford in 1908. Photograph: Avpics/Alamy Stock Photo

Party boats are a common sight on the Thames – Martin Garside of the Port of London Authority says there are probably about 40 passenger boats in regular use on the tidal Thames in London for charter activities such as family celebrations, parties and corporate events.

But these craft are about to be eclipsed by the biggest party boat Britain has ever seen, if a Dutch company has its way. It wants to reinstate Swan Lane Pier near London Bridge, once the home of the Regalia floating pub, to accommodate a mega-boat called the Ocean Diva.

What does the Ocean Diva look like? Imagine, if you will, that Mariah Carey was a boat. And not just a boat, but a craft three storeys high and the length of a football pitch that was capable of hosting 1,500 passengers, with glitzy interiors, well-stocked bars, and lots of open deck space and dance floors. And a helipad. Of course.

The company’s first two ships, the original Ocean Diva and the Futura, have already hosted dozens of river events in the Netherlands, Germany and Belgium. Now it wants to bring its lucrative business model to the heart of London.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest A boat passes by the City of London at night. Photograph: Patrik Slezak/Alamy

Edwin Petersen, chief executive, recently told the London Evening Standard: “I have always been surprised by the low quality of party boats on the Thames. What we will do is high-end corporate events, not just parties. Nobody does that on the Thames.” Petersen’s aim is that guests for the Ocean Diva will embark and disembark at Swan Lane Pier twice weekly, while the boat’s permanent mooring will be at east London’s Royal Docks.

The Ocean Diva’s website suggests it will give “every customer a unique and unforgettable experience”, be that “dinner on the outside deck, while enjoying the skyline of your own city” or creating “an inspiring and immersive brand event”.

However the prospect of the Ocean Diva getting a central London berth has outraged many local residents.

Amir Eden, chair of the Living Bankside group, which represents over 13,000 residents along the river from the Oxo Tower to City Hall, says the boat’s presence would be detrimental to both people and river: “It will ruin views for thousands of people when it’s moored. It will be a real eyesore blocking views for thousands of people when it’s stationary and a safety risk when it’s afloat.”

He also calls it a “bitter coincidence” that the new boat is planned to arrive near the 30th anniversary of the sinking of the Marchioness pleasure steamer, which was hit by a dredger on 20 August 1989, leading to the death of 51 people. The collision happened between Cannon Street and Southwark bridges – not far from Swan Lane.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest The wrecked hull of the Marchioness lying partially submerged in shallow water after it was hit by a dredger, Bowbelle, in August 1989. Photograph: Tony Harris/PA

Eden is also worried about Ocean Diva’s evacuation plans: “We know from the London Bridge attacks how hard it is to clear an area near the Thames in an emergency fast when there are so many tourists and people going out for the evening. How difficult will it be for 1,500 people to disembark in an emergency on to an already congested foreshore?”

All passenger ships operating on UK inland waterways are required to be certified by the Maritime and Coastguard Agency and have to meet strict safety standards.

Objections have also been raised from everyone from the Church of England, which said the increase in party boats “has had a detrimental effect upon the life of the communities around the river”, to the Environment Agency, which said the new pontoon would destroy bird habitats and contribute to erosion, and that dredging work would release high levels of contamination from the sediment into the water.

Bradley L Garrett, a cultural and social geographer, and author of Explore Everything: Place-Hacking the City, goes further. He argues that the Ocean Diva plan marks a new and unprecedentedly dismal turn in the commercial exploitation of London’s public spaces, and says it would see the city follow the likes of the Netherlands in “turning working rivers into amusement parks for drunks”.

“Anyone who has visited Amsterdam has seen the effects of the rampant privatisation of a city’s waterways,” Garrett says. “When I was there a few months ago, you could almost walk across the canals on the private tour boats. It came as little surprise that this proposal for a 282-foot floating nightclub came from a Dutch company.

“If this proposal is approved, the gaudy architectural turn that the city has taken in recent years will not only be reflected in the Thames, it will be moved on to it. Why don’t they just turn Tower Bridge into a nightclub too, while they’re at it?”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Boats and vessels on an Amsterdam canal. Photograph: NurPhoto/NurPhoto via Getty Images

Garrett has previously argued that the public spaces of London were being sold to corporations – in the biggest sell-off of common space since the enclosures of the 17th and 18th century.Many British cities’ public spaces, he contended, were becoming pseudo-public spaces – large squares, parks and thoroughfares that appear to be public but are actually owned and controlled by developers and their private backers, as local authorities argue they cannot afford to create or maintain such spaces themselves.

The fear now is that the Thames is poised to be similarly plundered. “It’s a public asset, something for everybody, but we worry that it will effectively become privatised by the arrival of the Ocean Diva,” says Eden. “We’re not nimbys at Living Bankside. We’re fighting against Ocean Diva for all Londoners.”

“The Thames foreshore has been an important public space offering counter-balance to the rampant privatisation of the South Bank,” says Garrett. “If this proposal goes through, the tiny slice of public space could be squeezed between shore development and a three-deck party boat the size of a football pitch cruising back and forth.”

Greg Lawson, the chief executive of Smart Group, which wants to operate Ocean Diva in London, has sought to allay residents’ fears. “London is still the business hub of Europe and a major tourist destination and we are confident that despite these times of uncertainty the vessel will be very popular,” he told the Telegraph.

“We are totally cognisant that we must operate without causing local difficulties. The acoustics are fantastic and the design means that we are able to operate with very little sound escaping from inside the vessel. It is designed to work on the Thames without causing problems to local residents.”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest A floating pub on the Thames. Photograph: Peter Sterling/Alamy Stock Photo

Documents submitted with the planning application state events would start between 6.30 and 7pm and end at 1am, and that noise would be “well contained within the boat”, and the boat’s owners recently announced the Ocean Diva will have a hybrid engine, thus reducing pollution and noise. Lawson of Smart Group says it will be “the first ship in London to be carbon-neutral and to clean and recycle all water on board, with zero waste going into the Thames”.

Will the Ocean Diva become part of the Thames party parade? On one hand, Eden has written to London’s mayor, Sadiq Khan, expressing residents’ fears that it is a done deal, saying: “[S]o confident is the Ocean Diva of getting what it wants that its website has announced that its path to the Thames is clear and that it’s already taking bookings for London parties.”

On the other hand, the planning process is still under way. The application to reinstate Swan Lane Pier will be considered by the City of London Corporation’s planning and transportation committee this month. If it gets the go-ahead, then the Port of London Authority will consider the plan and look to make a decision on whether to grant the project a river works licence this summer. Then the plan will be referred to Khan and he will have a two-week window to make a decision.

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So far, the authority has received 10 objections from members of the public to the plan, the mayor’s office claims to have received no comments either for or against, and the City of London has received nearly 70 objections to the Ocean Diva mooring at the pier.

What are our urban waterways for now London’s docks are dead and we live in a post-industrial, post-containerisation age? Eden argues that the Thames is London’s biggest public space and needs protecting: “It’s a public asset, free for the people, just like any commons, just like any public good. I suppose if you look at it another way, it’s London’s biggest unexploited asset, ripe for the taking. Unless we do something to stop that.”



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