WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT

A charismatic local accountant has today been left scratching his head today.

The cuff link enthusiast did so after turning up to his Old City District Office in Lycra for the 5th time this week, and yet again failing to get even a passing comment out of anyone.

Obnoxiously clicking around in his custom-fitted bike shoes, squeezing water out of his bottle as loudly as possible and huffing and puffing between his desk and the staffroom kitchen, Wil Wilson said he doesn’t know what else he’s got to do.

“Fuck me, do I have to put a sign up at my desk to let people know I’m the resident expert on The Tour De France” he sighed in the break room today.

The rapidly aging late twenty-something man, said he doesn’t understand how no one is interested in the greatest show on two wheels this planet has to offer.

“How can they not have even a slight interest in Le Tour, or the dynamics of the peloton, or even the famous French Wine and Cheese regions the cyclists power through,” he said crunching a trail bar.

“And how can no one even bother to ask me why I’m in an expensive kit of lycra that I purchased along with my bike that cost as much as a good second-hand car,” explained the man nearly a decade too young to be going through a midlife crisis.

“Drones, the lot of them.”