Article content

As you move about your busy day, spare a thought for this country’s most literal-minded citizens, whose triumph in rewriting the national anthem we celebrate today. For what a strange, frightening world they inhabit.

Bad enough that a line of poetry written a hundred years ago should use “all thy sons” to mean “all of us.” But everywhere they are surrounded by people using words and phrases to mean something other than their most direct and literal definition.

We apologize, but this video has failed to load.

tap here to see other videos from our team. Try refreshing your browser, or Andrew Coyne: Behold the literal-minded citizens who triumphed in rewriting our national anthem Back to video

How, I wonder, do they cope? When they happen across a group of girls addressing each other as “you guys,” do they stop to correct them? Are they not obliged to point out that a “guy” is usually defined as a man, and as such these young girls are negating their own existence?

When they see the phrase “all hands on deck,” do they wonder why a captain would not simply say “sailors?” And why use such a clearly nautical reference in ordinary conversation, when what is meant is “we need everyone’s participation?”