In January, 2013, Donald Trump’s special counsel, Michael Cohen, sent a letter to the Onion. The satirical online newspaper, whose Latin motto is Tu Stultus Es (“You Are Dumb”), had just published a piece under Trump’s byline, titled “When You’re Feeling Low, Just Remember I’ll Be Dead in About 15 or 20 Years.” The attorney threatened legal action. “Let me begin,” Cohen wrote, “by stating the obvious . . . that the commentary was not written by Mr. Trump. Secondly, the article is an absolutely disgusting piece that lacks any place in journalism; even in your Onion. I am hereby demanding that you immediately remove this disgraceful piece from your website and issue an apology to Mr. Trump.” The Onion gleefully declined to comply.

“We never apologized,” Cole Bolton, the site’s editor-in-chief, said recently at the Onion’s offices, in Chicago. “The article’s still up.”

Trump has been a target of the Onion for around two decades. “We’ve always thought of him as a horrendous buffoon, an objectionable person,” Bolton said. Still, the editor and his staff of sixteen mostly liberal writers and editors weren’t thrilled by the prospect of having to cover, even satirically, a Trump Presidency. “I felt a comedic dread,” Chad Nackers, the forty-three-year-old head writer, said. Nackers has satirized four Presidencies. His favorite was the Obama Administration, he said, “because Biden was a fucking blast.” Like many news outlets, just before this past election the Onion prepared headlines for both possible outcomes.

“There were some really good Hillary-wins headlines,” Ben Berkley, the managing editor, said, pulling up a never-published front page on his laptop. In a giant font: “Desperate Woman Settles For Asshole Nation Without Much Money.” Below that: “ ‘Now, Sisters, Destroy These Tools of Our Oppression!’ Shrieks Victorious Hillary Clinton While Brandishing Fistful of Severed Penises.” And beneath a headshot of a smug Trump: “Trump Immediately Concedes Election After Discovering Object of Desire is 240 Years Old.”

“Can someone please invent clothing that will cover both nipples?” Facebook

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On a recent Monday, Onion writers gathered in a conference room, whose walls were decorated with framed favorite front pages, to pitch headlines—“Black Guy Asks Nation For Change,” read one from Obama’s first Presidential campaign. This was a “timely meeting” (rather than an “evergreen meeting”), in which they’d riff on breaking news. A rule: “Stay away from low-hanging fruit,” Berkley said. “We don’t do ‘The Angry Orange Wind Bag’-type stuff,” Bolton added. “It’s hard to go more extreme with Trump, the way we do with other public figures. So sometimes we go for the people around him.”

Of the more than a hundred mostly Trump-related headlines submitted that day, only twenty-six received grunts of approval. These were gradually whittled down to five, including “Rodent Clearly Making Its Way Through Steve Bannon’s Body Throughout National Security Meeting,” and “Man Awakening From Seven-Hour Slumber Horrified By Modern WorlD.” Others failed for a variety of reasons. “Trump Unveils Massive Bailout Program For Companies Run Into Ground By Idiotic Sons” was not Bolton’s favorite Trump-sons joke. A writer in the corner waved away “Damning Intelligence Reveals Several Trump Aides Currently Trapped In Russian Ambassador’s Neck Flaps.” He said, “We just had a neck-flaps one.”

A few minutes later, “Cloaked Figure In Adjacent Urinal Warns Paul Ryan Not to Get Cold Feet Over Obamacare Repeal” spurred some ad-libbing.

“He’s inside the urinal?”

“He’s urinating onto him.”

“It’s an anthropomorphic urinal cake!”

Afterward, Bolton headed over to the graphics department, where a young woman read a headline aloud: “Mar-a-Lago Caddy Injures Shoulder Trying to Carry Heavy Stacks Of Classified National Security Briefings Around Golf Course.” A researcher began Googling for golf photos.

“The caddy should be carrying binders and manila folders, along with Trump’s golf bag,” Bolton instructed. He paused. “I’d make this graphic a bigger priority today than the graphic for the nude sunbathing Pope Francis story.”

Not every satirical subject reacts negatively to being in the Onion. Joe Biden’s camp conveyed appreciation for his recurring character, “Diamond” Joe Biden (who washed his Trans Am in the White House driveway, shirtless). Bernie Sanders (“Clearly in Pocket of High-Rolling Teacher Who Donated $300 to His Campaign”) and Hillary Clinton both tweeted Onion stories about themselves.

“The Clinton one was an op-ed titled ‘I Am Fun,’ ” Bolton said. “All she wrote with the retweet was ‘Humorous,’ which was great.”

“None of the Republicans did anything like that,” he went on. “It would be kind of funny if Trump tweeted something about us now. But he’s the President of the United States, and we don’t want him to be wasting his time in some Twitter flame war with a satirical news organization.” ♦