In a depressing world, it only pays to be depressed

I read books

I just received another rejection email from a literary agent from a major literary agency regarding my hilarious novel, “5IVE SPEED”.

I’ve gotten many of these rejection emails, and anyone who has ever written a book…or done standup comedy…or done any of the other professions I’ve had in my life…knows all about rejection.

It sucks.

The thing that sucks most about the rejections I get from literary agents is that they all basically say the same thing. They love the book, and they thought it was very funny, but humor is the hardest thing to sell and they’re not willing to take on the challenge of selling a funny novel.

Evidently, depressing sells.

Evidently, no one wants to read a book that will make them feel good, and laugh. They want a mystery…or perhaps something with a lot of gore.

Seriously?

I have not read “Fifty Shades of Grey”. I don’t ever intend to read it, but I’ve heard plenty about it. For the life of me, I can’t imagine a literary agent reading something like this and saying, “Yeah! This is gonna sell!”

But they were right. A book like that being a bestseller makes Donald Trump being President of the United States seem to make sense.

The humor in my novel is somewhat cerebral.

The reader of novels have all had lobotomies.

Agents know that, and I should come to grips with that.

I’m sure Stormy Daniels (the porn star who had an affair with Trump) has a book deal signed and on the way. After the OJ Simpson trial, Kato Kaelin had a book published.

How can I cash in?

I thought, at the time, this was the bottom of the barrel. Literature couldn’t get any lower than that. I was wrong.

Never underestimate the stupidity of the public.

Or maybe it’s just the stupidity of literary agents.