If you’re a member of the armed gang in the Oregon standoff, the U.S. Army’s survival experts have some good news and some bad news.

The good news: Even though you forgot to pack enough food, there’s a way for you to get all the nutrition you need, pretty much indefinitely, off the land.

The bad news? You’re probably not going to like it.

In a nutshell: The federal government can’t starve you out … so long as you’re willing to eat bugs — lots of bugs. Really. They’re nature’s trail mix.

Oh, yes, and snakes.

Mmm. Fresh, fried or fricasseed — it’s up to you.

The 20 or so gun-toting members, led by Ammon Bundy, have taken over a wildlife sanctuary in Burns, Ore., in a protest against the federal government over local land issues.

In a Facebook post, a member of the gang put out a public appeal for items they need, including thick socks, cold-weather stuff and “snacks.” Apparently you can send contributions to them via a website that hates Muslims and CNN correspondent Anderson Cooper.

But we all know that members of pseudo-militias really like to “stand alone” without help, welfare or aid from the rest of us. So I hunted out the best advice available — that offered by the U.S. Army’s own survival guide.

And you can forget all that nonsense you see on AMC’s The Walking Dead about people foraging for cans of Chef Boyardee. (Rick Grimes is a moron anyway.)

If you’re Special Forces behind enemy lines, a member of a pseudo-militia in a “standoff” against Uncle Sam or just some regular Joe who finds himself living in a zombie apocalypse, a nuclear apocalypse or some other End Times event, the message is the same.

Eat bugs. Lots of them.

“The most abundant and easily caught life form on Earth are insects,” advise the army’s experts. “Many insects provide 65% to 80% protein, compared to 20% for beef.” (So not only are bugs nutritious — they also fit in with your paleo or low-carb diet as well!)

Good bugs to eat include ants, termites, beetles, grasshoppers and worms. Grind them into a paste, then cook! Yum!

As Baloo told Mowgli in “The Jungle Book”: “Look under the rocks and plants/And take a glance at the fancy ants ... Then maybe try a few!”

Make especially sure to cook all beetles or grasshoppers before eating them, say the army’s experts. Even if you’re tempted by the idea of grasshopper “sashimi,” don’t go for it.

You don’t want to eat bugs? Too bad. “A person who ignores an otherwise healthy food source due to a personal bias, or because he feels it is unappetizing, is risking his own survival,” warns the military.

Hey, you’ve been reading Soldier of Fortune magazine for years and fancying yourself as a tough, Special Forces kind of guy. Now’s your chance!

You can’t eat all kinds of bugs, though. Those to avoid are any bugs that sting or bite, hairy ones (eww!), brightly colored ones (ewwww!), ticks, flies or mosquitoes. Also, don’t eat spiders, the Army warns.

The Army’s survival experts have all sorts of other helpful advice too. For instance, if you catch a snake and want to eat it, first cut off the head and about six inches behind the head to be sure of removing the venom sac. And you can eat acorns, but they’ll be really bitter. To improve the taste, first boil them, several times, in changes of water.

Sure, you could have packed Clif bars. But apparently you didn’t, so here you are: bugs. Good luck. I hope at least you remembered to pack beer.