It's crazy to think that once you have it all like a stable job, loving family, faithful partner, true and real friends...that you still feel lost, empty and alone? You have no right to complain since you're one of the luckiest people in the world. Yes, you don't have a right to whine about your feelings when the world is at war and other people are suffering. Does it mean it's wrong to feel this way? I would say yes and no. Yes, it's wrong because having a roof over your head qualifies you to be like in the top 75% of the richest people in the world, well something like that. No, because who can tell you're feelings are not valid? It's your feelings and no one can discredit you for it since they're not the ones in your shoes.

This maybe the start of a depression. It's easy to say you're depressed and then get some help from a shrink, drink the prescribed medicine and then months later you should be ok or within the year. But it doesn't work that way and people are different.

About 10 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I was cutting myself and even overdosed on the medicines that my doctor gave me. It may seem childish why I was depressed in the first place. Failed teenage love. First serious boyfriend then I messed up the relationship then I was the one feeling suicidal and depressed about it. I was selfish and immature at that time. Hoping that begging for the forgiveness and saying sorry over and over again would bring him back to me. It didn't and that tore me apart. I lost my self-esteem. I just simply wanted to die at that point. First love never dies...that's what I always thought, you know like in Disney films that the first love is your forever and the last love and the greatest love you will ever have in your life. But life is not Disney. Life is life and life is cruel and you just have to suck up to it. So going back, it was an embarrassing situation to talk to my mom about it and having to go to a psychiatrist. Probably, where I live depression is just something you make up and eventually get over it and it wasn't treated seriously, more of someone just going through a dramatic phase in life that you'll eventually get over.

During my dark days then I resulted to cutting and just numbing out the hurt I felt that time. I don't know how I got over it but I just did. Time helps. The drugs didn't. I spent time with friends to forget my failed relationship. Looking back, it seemed like a dream like it didn't happen. Maybe I'm just denying it but now the details seem vague and then fast-forward to today I'm normal.

After turning 28 last week, I thought my life was perfect but of course nothing is perfect. I started feeling empty. Nothing dramatic happened in my life recently. I have a stable job (which I don't know if I like it but I feel just meh about it), a loving partner and honest friends. So what's the difference with the emptiness, or depression I'm feeling now and the one I had before? I don't know yet but I'm still figuring it out. I'm also thinking to myself I shouldn't feel this way because I have no right when most of the world's population is suffering from hunger, disease and political conflict. It would be selfish of me to feel sorry when I have everything that most people dream of. To reconcile my feelings and to what's happening to society is just impossible. But I just want to point out that what I'm feeling and those who are in the same situation as I am that you are not alone. What you're feeling right now is valid and that's what I want to say. There is no right or wrong way to feel what you're going through even if life seems perfect to others who see you.

Probably, I just want to reach out and share these thoughts to say that we feel lost sometimes in this world and don't know what to do in your life. And it's alright to feel that way and to go through the "depression" because you have to until you figure it out how to move on. It may take time, it may take some drugs, some counseling but eventually you will get there. Life is a cycle and so are you're feelings. One day you may be happy then suddenly, you just feel empty. But it's not the end of it if you feel empty once in a while. No it's not. You just have to figure it out and you are not alone in this battle. No you are not. In time you can free yourself from the emptiness.