S.F. Cop, Puppet Take Final Bow

San Francisco Police officer Bob geary and his partner Brendan O'Smarty take a break at Market and Powell in San Francisco. Chronicle Photo by Timothy Batt San Francisco Police officer Bob geary and his partner Brendan O'Smarty take a break at Market and Powell in San Francisco. Chronicle Photo by Timothy Batt Image 1 of / 3 Caption Close S.F. Cop, Puppet Take Final Bow 1 / 3 Back to Gallery

2000-07-11 04:00:00 PDT San Francisco -- Brendan O'Smarty made his final rounds of North Beach this week, winking at tourists, posing for pictures, asking an Italian grocer about the size of his salami and kissing several elderly women who looked like they rather enjoyed the experience.

"Oooh," said one of them. "I'm going to miss you, Brendan."

O'Smarty's human partner, officer and ventriloquist Bob Geary, is retiring tomorrow after 24 years on the force. That means O'Smarty must retire, too. He was philosophical about it.

"It's time to move on and see what comes next," Brendan said.

Geary said he feels the same way and besides, he is 60 years old, which can be an occupational hazard when attempting to chase down bad guys, especially when hoisting a 10-pound dummy.

Geary and Brendan have been partners ever since the human picked him out of a Colorado wood carver's catalog 10 years ago. Geary says Brendan helps him "establish rapport and break down barriers" while on patrol.

The police brass agree, more or less. Seven years ago, after his captain and the police chief ordered Geary to ditch the puppet, Geary paid $10,000 out of his own pocket to circulate petitions placing the entire cop-and-puppet issue before the voters.

That campaign drew international attention, and while the world pondered just what San Francisco was up to now, the voters -- by a ratio of 65,768 to 63,112 -- said Brendan could stay.

Since then, Brendan has accompanied Geary, although he generally remains inside the patrol car and out of view on tough assignments and crimes.

"If people see you come with the puppet," Geary said, "it can be insulting."

Once, Geary said, his partner did break up a potential barroom fight between two drunks who were so surprised when the puppet told them to chill "like a Popsicle" that they forgot what they were mad about. But most of Brendan's work is sidewalk and playground well- wishing.

"There's a time and a place for what Bob does," said one sergeant at Central Station. "Sometimes he overdoes it, but he's been very well received, and we're going to miss

him."

In just one 15-minute trip around the block yesterday, Brendan posed for pictures with a family from Amsterdam, waved at the occupants of three 30-Stockton buses ("They come in bunches," he astutely observed.), made a couple of toddlers cry, kissed three women, helped an elderly woman shop for turnips and earnestly attempted to shake hands with a kid on a skateboard who did not want to.

Brendan does not tell jokes, perform or dishonor the uniform. Only occasionally does he say something that Geary was not expecting him to. The other day, Geary recalled, he smiled at a passer-by, who ignored him, and the dummy was insulted.

"Is that your final answer?" Brendan said before Geary could shut him up.

Geary, who thinks big, hopes to get Brendan on TV and in the movies. In one plan, which Hollywood has so far declined to nibble at, the dummy would dress in a judicial robe and preside over a kiddies' small claims court.

If show biz doesn't pan out, Geary and Brendan will make the rounds of schools and nursing homes.

Today, Geary is retiring in a ceremony in front of Central Station that involves a stagecoach, Franciscan friars, cops on horses and the Green Street Mortuary Band. Geary printed up his own press releases to announce the event, which he called an "excellent photo opportunity."

Geary has already cleaned out Brendan's locker in the cops' changing room. Brendan is unusual in that regard -- he has several bodies but only one head.

"On airplanes," Geary said, "the body goes as baggage but his head rides with me, as a carry-on."