Your baby is now the size of a bed bug. Just like a person battling a bed bug infestation, you can say bonsoir to nights of peaceful sleep. Congratulations, new mom!



You’re walking around with a bed bug in your uterus that will grow into a beautiful miracle! Friends, family, and co-workers probably won’t notice your precious infestation. It’s still your secret. Just remember: While bed bugs can live a year without a blood meal, you need to be eating for two!



Many women realize they’re pregnant at five weeks because of the onset of common pregnancy symptoms such as nausea, exhaustion, and breast tenderness. We here at Reductress would like to express our deepest sympathy for all the pain you’re experiencing, particularly since you’re still months away from all of the really great attention you’re going to be getting.