Breaking: Mike Pence Confesses Addiction To Marital Faithfulness

WASHINGTON, DC—Speaking to Fox News in a tell-all exclusive interview Sunday night, Vice President Mike Pence admitted to a decades-long addiction to remaining faithful to his wife, Karen.

Pence, who was heavily criticized by the media in March when he confessed to never having private lunches with women other than his wife, tearfully admitted to reporters his habit of marital fidelity began back in 1985, when he and Karen were married. Pence disclosed his addiction has caused him to meet with his wife for lunches and dinners at numerous locations throughout the city, and his faithfulness binges would sometimes lead to serial private getaways with Mrs. Pence to secret, exotic locations.

“I just can’t hide anymore,” Pence declared.

In a stunning development, Karen Pence joined her husband by his side and confirmed the allegations, stating she had known about and even covered up for her husband’s discretions throughout the years.

At publishing time, the Vice President had checked into a marital fidelity addiction rehab center to undergo a six-month treatment and rehabilitation plan, sources at the White House confirmed.

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