Sorry for the slow pace as of late, but let’s set things back off with some fun, shall we? Back in December, I wrote about a guy who calls himself Elliott Lusztig over on Twitter. Somehow, this sanctimonious asshole has had amassed over 80,000 followers on the service. Back in the last post, I openly mused about his identity as I took him to task for claiming that calling someone a snowflake was tantamount to psychological abuse.

I delayed posting this, because I was trying to find out just who Elliott Lusztig is. He’s been quoted in countless mainstream media stories like he’s someone of note, but as far as I can tell, he’s just a left-wing Twitter troll. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a troll, it’s just that you would think this guy was some kind Democratic Party official with the way his tweets seem to reverberate around the internet.

He is regularly quoted in the progressive and mainstream media, like in this Salon post…

[A]nother popular Twitter personality, Elliott Lusztig, opined, “I love Bernie Sanders but he’s got to stop apologizing for the racism sexism & bigotry of Trump supporters. Enough.”

How about a Raw Story quote on antisemitism from “Elliott Lusztig?”

And this Washington Post entry…

There’s myriad other examples. I don’t have time to show them all to you, but rest assured that his identity has been a big topic of discussion for a longtime…and rightfully so. When you get to be a prominent individual on social media, people are going to want to know who you really are. Even liberal professors like Jasmin Mujanović have been calling this guy out.

Actually, his name is not Elliot Lusztig. It’s Chad Elliott Noyes and he’s a professor at the University of California, Santa Cruz. I don’t think he’s actually a tenured professor.He doesn’t even have a staff page. But he does have some ratings here. Most of the students seem to be fond of him due to his easy class. I know that feeling extremely well.

He’s also taught at the Georgiana Bruce Kirby Preparatory School in Santa Cruz. Here’s some links to that part of his career, along with a quote…

Dr. Chad Noyes received his Ph.D from Harvard University in Government, and he is presently educating freshmen and sophomores about the importance of historical analysis. He taught a semester-long class on Historical Memoirs here a few years back. “Kirby struck me as a kind of place where you could lead small group discussion-based seminars. And that’s a big deal for me,” Noyes states. “There’s much more freedom for me to design a curriculum in a way that suits me more as a teacher. Kirby just suits me better than any other school I’ve taught at.” Raising a young boy and catering to a wife he calls the “the genius of the family,” Noyes incorporated a chicken coop onto his family estate. His wife has decided that “she wants to live the country life,” and he is complying.

Speaking of his Harvard career, here’s a summary of his college thesis:

This thesis seeks to uncover the roots of political science in ancient political thought, specifically in Plato, Aristotle and Thucydides. The thesis defines political science as the account of the rule of reason given by those who consider the universe to be nothing more than matter in motion and therefore devoid of objective standards for the adjudication of claims to rule among human beings. The argument of the thesis is that the ancient account of political science anticipates most of the central developments typically held to be innovations in modern political science, with specific reference to the theory of human subjectivity, the nature of citizenship and civic virtue, the logic and limits of foreign policy realism, and the importance for modern democratic theory of such innovations as representation, human rights and administrative governance. As the ancient thinkers developed their account of political science through the study of democracy, which was believed to be the regime that most resembles the political-scientific account of political life, the thesis is also a study of the relevance of ancient democracy for the theory and practice of modern democracy.

Basically, this guy is a degenerate political scientist like myself, only he has a Ph.D. instead of a bachelor’s degree. Now, you might be asking yourself:

Ralph, how did you find all this information?

Good question. The answer is, I didn’t. Well, I found some of it. His thesis, his prep school teaching career…that was all me. But he let some key details about his life slip on Twitter, and even though seems to have been lying about having changed his name, he went just a bit too far. That’s when the squad and I went to town.

As I said above, it seems like he’s lying about that last bit as of today, at least the part about having actually completed the change.

Glad you brought that up, Elliott. Speaking of his wife, her name is Irene Lusztig, she also teaches at UC Santa Cruz, and she seems to be just as insufferable as her husband…if not more so.

While her creative work extends across a range of moving image forms (long form cinema essay, web-based interactive projects, and–most recently–video for gallery and museum exhibition), in all of her work she maintains a strong connection to feminist historiography and archival practices, an investment in rigorous and sustained interdisciplinary research into her subject of inquiry, and a conviction that filmmaking itself can constitute a profound act of reframing, recuperating, and reanimating forgotten or neglected histories.

So, he likely married the first woman who let him get his d*** wet, knocked her up, and then proceeded to become (even more of) a mega punk bitch. Sad! Many such cases!

Anyway, I hope you guys had as much fun with this as I did putting it together. Enjoy! And be sure to welcome Chad Noyed, Elliott Lusztig, whatever the fuck he calls himself, back to Twitter if he ever shows his face again.