Nation shocked as companies that said they would relocate because of Brexit suddenly relocate

The ongoing saga of Brexit suffered a dramatic twist as two companies, that had been saying they would have to leave post-Brexit Britain as far back as 2016, abruptly announced that they were indeed going somewhere else.

Ardent brexiter and Tory MP, Simon Williams, was one of the first to condemn the announcement, by Michelin tires and Schaeffler auto parts, that they were closing factories in the UK due to uncertainties over Brexit.

He told reporters, “This yet more Project Fear. These Brussels loving European corporations are trying to scare us. Large companies routinely announce huge and costly relocations because these things have no effect on their profits or share prices.

“Refusing to take more orders and telling all employees that a retraining program will be put in place is all a big bluff. Just like the acquisitions of several industrial sites in Romania and a massive recruitment plan for EU based engineers.”

Michelin’s CFO, Amandine Tinoque, claimed that the company had tried to warn the government but were not taken seriously.

She explained, “Even before the referendum we warned that any threat to our supply chain would mean we would be forced to relocate.

“We sent them detailed costings and made several presentations explaining why frictionless borders were a precondition of our presence here. We even met with some of your ministers. All we got was a strange wink and some mumblings about having a brilliant plan. So yeah, we’re off.”

In response, Mr Williams claimed that all information coming from Mrs Tinoque was suspicious, as he had received incontrovertible proof she was a Frenchman.

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!