What’s worse than a poorly-written book on domestic violence thinly veiled as a romance novel? A parody of that book, written about the internet’s favorite food, bacon. One of the two authors describes himself as having a “passion for bacon.” We live in a world full of art, drama, music, prose, poetry, and animal videos, and your passion is bacon? Fucking bacon, the pork food? I want you to return all the oxygen you have ever breathed to the world, this instant.