If you type "crucified Santa" into Google Images, you'll see that various idiots have mocked up pictures of the jolly old soul nailed to a cross; or gone one better, donning Father Christmas outfits and posing like the dying Christ on crosses of their own; all in tribute to one of the world's great cultural confusions.

The story goes that, some time after the American occupation of post-war Japan, its inhabitants were first exposed to the non-religious aspects of Christmas – elves, grottoes, sleigh bells and the rest – and came to understand that the fat man from the North Pole had something to do with the birth of Jesus (best remembered in those parts not for his humble birth but for his gruesome end).

Wanting to join in the spirit of the thing and demonstrate their modern, "Western" credentials, Japanese shopkeepers saw an opportunity to stimulate sales. And so, with more zeal than scholarship, the window dresser at one of the main department stores produced his centrepiece: a life-size effigy of a smiling "Father Kurisumasu" – complete with white beard, red tunic, shiny belt and boots – attached to a facsimile of Our Lord's final instrument of torture…

Unfortunately, the story's too good to check – because it never happened. Such misunderstandings have occurred in other places at other times. (When the Cuzco Indians of Peru were converted to Catholicism, for instance, they mixed up angels and conquistadores, and in their paintings equipped the heavenly host with muskets instead of bugles.) But the Japanese Passion of Santa Claus is an urban myth.

Although The Washington Post reported it in 1995 and The Economist in 1993, there are no photographs or first-person recollections. The source has been at best what modern folklorists call a "foaf", or "friend of a friend". The incident has been variously dated to the 1940s, 1960s and 1980s – in these publications and others – and located in both Tokyo and Kyoto.

According to Snopes, the myth-busting website, accounts first surfaced in the early 1990s, and reflected growing anxiety among Americans about the USA's position as the world's economic superpower: the Japanese electronics and motor industries were outstripping theirs; and Japanese investment in the New York property market – where they had acquired such landmarks as the Rockefeller Centre – was causing the kind of resentment that some Londoners bear wealthy Chinese today.

Christmas days out in the UK Show all 12 1 /12 Christmas days out in the UK Christmas days out in the UK Winter Wonderland Hyde Park, London This is the capital’s most popular and dazzling winter event. Among the most popular attractions are the sub-zero experience - The Magical Ice Kingdom - along with the Lycamobile Ice Rink, picturesque Victorian Bandstand, Giant Observation Wheel, Santa Land, Christmas markets, Zippos Christmas Circus, Cirque Berserk and much, much more. Daily until 4th January. Free entry. Prices for attractions vary. www.hydeparkwinterwonderland.com Christmas days out in the UK Santa’s Grotto at Bounce Below, Gwynedd, North Wales This unique experience enables kids to express their festive excitement on a huge bouncy net before coming face-to-face with the big man himself. Set in a delightful cavern, children and adults alike with be captivated by the subterranean playground and lights display before visiting Santa in his grotto. Open 6th-7th, 13th-14th December, 20th December to Christmas Eve. Children must be 3+ to go on the net. Adults £5; under 3s £10; 3+ £15 www.bouncebelow.net/christmas/ Christmas days out in the UK Christmas at the Lost Gardens of Heligan, Mevagissey, Cornwall These mysterious gardens and estate, which take up 200 acres, nearly always appear in roundups of best summer days out. But this season, they are in the festive spirit with their Christmas Advent Trail around the gardens, which run every day across December. Father Christmas is visiting too and they are selling Christmas Crafts by the fire from 10am -4pm. Father Christmas will visit the Lost Gardens of Heligan: 13, 14, 20, 21, 22 and 23 December 10am-4.30pm £6 per child, booking essential. www.heligan.com Christmas days out in the UK Willows Farm, Colney Heath, Hertfordshire This is a quaint and utterly charming Santa grotto. You can also join in with the Nativity story in the undercover theatre, see real life reindeer and their animal friends in the farmyard and skate on the synthetic ice rink. Then there’s the enchanting Festive Wood Ride and plenty of under-cover play for all ages. Open daily, with Santa visiting every day until Christmas Eve Children £17.00; adults £8.75 www.willowsactivityfarm.com Christmas days out in the UK Enchanted Christmas at Whitworth Hall Reindeer Park, County Durham Highly trained “elf guides” have jetted in from the North Pole to take families on a magical adventure that includes meeting Santa and Mrs Claus, the Snow Queen, and a chance to feed the reindeer and take a ride on a Santa Express train. Oh and don’t forget to feed the reindeer with the bag of reindeer food you get on entry. Open selected dates in December Adults £19.50; Children £22.50; Under 2’s £15 www.enchanted-christmas.com Christmas days out in the UK Christmas at the Castle, Warwick Castle, Warwickshire During the Christmas holidays, family favourite attraction Warwick Castle is being transformed into a winter wonderland with breakfast with Santa, a 25ft Christmas tree and Christmas banquets. The torch lit tour is the best bit, in which you get to explore the grand interior and learn how Christmas was celebrated through the ages. Daily until 31 December Adults from £14.40, children from £12.48. Kids under 4 go free. www.warwick-castle.com Christmas days out in the UK The Mound, Edinburgh, Scotland Take your seat on the StarFlyer at 60 metres high and view Edinburgh like you’ve never seen it before at 360 degrees. Also providing great views is the Big Wheel, with 36 enclosed, weather-proof pods, each seating six people. Other attractions include Santa’s Wall of Ice, the fun and twisty North Pole Slide, Christmas Tree Maze and Santa Train. Daily until 4 January Ticket prices vary www.edinburghschristmas.com/ Christmas days out in the UK Hawkstone Park Follies Santa Safari, Weston-under-Redcastle, Shropshire The journey begins with a ride up into the hills and illuminated woodlands of the historic landscape, passing under the Wishing Arch before arriving at Santa’s hillside grotto, set in a spectacular network of caves. Visitors are greeted by Santa’s elves and real reindeer on their way through the icy caverns and enchanted tunnels where Father Christmas awaits. Both day and twilight experiences are available daily until 31st December Adults from £16; children from £17 per child; £8 per infant under 2 www.hawkstoneparkfollies.co.uk Christmas days out in the UK Wookey Hole Caves Santaland, Wells, Somerset Children can take a rip-roaring 8D ride over rooftops on Santa’s sleigh before meeting the man himself this Christmas. This brand new 8D film, called Sleigh Ride, really comes to life with special effects. Other attractions include a special Christmas Circus show and cave tour with Christmas characters, illuminations and a peek inside the Cheese cave. Daily until 24 December Adults £14; children £2.50 www.wookey.co.uk Christmas days out in the UK Somerset House, London Somerset House is the neoclassical arts venue located between the Thames and the Strand in London and its ice rink sits in the courtyard overlooked by a stunning 40ft Christmas tree. It makes for one of the most striking and magical skating backdrops in the UK and there’s plenty of other things to keep you busy, including food stalls and a pop-up Fortnum & Mason’s. Daily until 11th January Tickets from £7.50 www.somersethouse.org.uk Christmas days out in the UK Blickling Estate, Norwich, Norfolk Beautiful decorations, twinkling lights, bell ringers, music, storytelling, Christmas crafts, mulled wine, Father Christmas, Shetland ponies, donkeys and reindeer. These are just a few of the things that make “A Blickling Christmas.” Don’t miss the beautifully decorated house with characters from their past, decorations in the garden and a surprise in the park. Selected dates through December Free http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/blickling-estate/things-to-see-and-do/events/more-seasonal-events/ Christmas days out in the UK Drayton’s Magical Christmas, Drayton Manor, Tamworth, Staffordshire Visitors will be transported to a winter wonderland when they enter the park as Thomas Land has received a Christmas makeover. With over 21 rides and attractions to enjoy, get into the seasonal spirit with Polar Express screened in 4D or enjoy a meeting with Father Christmas in his “Castle of Dreams”. There’s also an outdoor ice rink and giant Christmas tree. Daily until 31 Dec 12+ £20; 4-11 years £15; 2-3 years £10; under 2s free http://draytonmanor.co.uk/events/drayton-s-magical-christmas

On the other hand, that doesn't mean that the story is entirely false. As the poet said, truth is beauty, beauty truth. And like all great "contemporary legends" – as those folklorists call them – this one exquisitely captures the fact (or fear) that the Japanese had both adapted and adopted Western consumerism to impressive effect and profit without really understanding or espousing the underlying values. And clearly, some of them had a different take on physical cruelty and suffering, as any manga fan would tell you.

Similar interpretations can be applied to such old favourites as "the vanishing hitch-hiker" and new ones such as the "Chinese kidney-harvesting kidnap". The first, which dates back to the Middle Ages, reappeared on inter-state highways after Pearl Harbor and spoke to the dislocation and isolation then felt by so many Americans. (It had another run in the 1970s, as stories of serial killers preying on drifters gained currency.) The second is fuelled by fears of people-traffickers, and a commercial market in donated organs. But what gives the Japanese tale the edge is that you can almost, just, possibly, imagine it.

After all, look how the Japanese have overlaid their imaginations on our own rites and icons. Never mind the genuine Kurisumasu cards featuring Mary on a broomstick and a spooky Santa. (Some mix-up with Halloween?) What about those college-style sweatshirts with words apparently chosen at random: "Precise Dwarf Bravery", for example. What about the Japanese rockabilly scene, which has somehow absorbed line- and break-dancing into its bizarre car-park dance-offs? They act as a kind of post-modern critique of our own culture.