Ralphing

Who is your favorite Ralph of all time? Is it the correct one?

As a professional, academic Ralphologist, the most common question I am asked is "Who's your favorite Ralph of all time?" And you'd think I'd have the answer at the tip of my tongue, since I make a living studying the Ralphs of the world, but every time I have to stop and think about it.

You've got your classic Ralphs like Waldo Emerson and your edgier, more modern Ralphs like Fiennes or Macchio, but I prefer something in the middle, which is why I have decided that my favorite Ralph is Lauren.

Think about it: What other Ralph provides the same mix of longevity, iconography, and polo shirt design? No Ralph, that's who. I'm wearing a Ralph Lauren polo shirt right now, and it's not even because I'm a Ralphologist but because I find it to be a satisfying combination of comfort and style!

So all due apologies to presidential hopeful Ralph Nader and MLB hall-of-famer Ralph Kiner, but the Ralph Hall of Fame only has room for one inductee and it's Lauren.

(Somebody please visit the Ralph Hall Of Fame, which can be found in my basement just off I-90 in Missoula Montana, near the University of Montana on Hilda Avenue. Look for the small painted sign that says "Ralf" (the boy I hired to paint the sign refused to paint a second sign, citing the terms of our verbal contract.))

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