Virginia head coach Bronco Mendenhall has demolished Scott Stadium, home of the Cavaliers football team.

The move comes amid a series of steps Mendenhall has taken to institute a meritocracy in Charlottesville. He took away jersey numbers from his players (so that they would be selected on a merit basis), banned the team from wearing V-sabres, questioned whether they would deserve a Spring Game, asserted that redshirts would not be freely given, and removed players from spring practice until they successfully completed their "tempo runs."

Late last night, the fiery coach upped the ante once again. Students in the Alderman Road dorms awoke to the sound of a controlled demolition, followed by a stream of wrecking balls moving down the street toward Scott Stadium. Today, on April Fool's Day, there's little evidence that a stadium sat on that spot for the past 85 years; only a large patch of dirt and debris remains, as Mendenhall quickly filled in the sunken arena.

"The players haven't yet proven that they deserve a stadium," he explained. "If everyone passes their tempo runs, I'll give the Smith family a call, and we'll start raising funds to build it again. The reason that I am not worried about having a place to play come football season is - " (At that point, Mendenhall suddenly stopped talking, sat down, and began an hour and a half of silence and renewal.)

Scott Stadium is expected to take 18 months to rebuild, putting 6 home games in the 2016 season in jeopardy. A source within the Virginia Athletics department floated Lambeth Field as a potential alternate venue, and confirmed that there is enough seating there to accommodate all UVA season ticket holders.