Claire Joines: "The Kanyetivity. About 36 years ago, in a town called Kanyeham, there lived a young and beautiful woman called Beyoncé Knowles. One day the angel Kanye was sent down by God (otherwise known as Kanye) to hark the good news; Beyonce would have a special baby, who would be Jay Z’s son and must be called Kanye. The Kanyetivity is a fun-filled musical exploring Kanye West's vibrant and spectacular life through song and the occasional proto-religious imagery. Every ticket-holder will receive a copy of Yeezus on entry. Book now to avoid disappointment!"Photograph: GuardiaWitness