OK you won that round, now it’s my turn kitty (Picture: annadarzy)

Forget the battle of the sexes, the battle of the species rages on. Which is better dogs or cats?

Well obviously canine trumps feline every time.

Cats are animals and of course deserve a place on this earth as much as any other, but I just wouldn’t want one in the house.

There are many reasons to own a dog over a cat – and not just for the obvious life-changing reasons like they protect you and your home, could save your life, are crime fighters, support elderly and disabled people, keep you active and are ace – but for these too:




1. Dogs smell good

Take a good sniff of a pooch and you’ll get warm popcorn, honey and freshly baked bread. All the good stuff. Cats give off a slight dusty whiff or worse – something of the spoiled crab.

2. And dog food smells OK

Cat food does not. Leave a bowl of meat and biscuits out for the day? No biggie. Leave a bowl of fish out for the day and it’s end of days.

3. Cat hair is bad

Way worse than dogs which can be easily rollered off. Cat hair just sticks around longer. It’s barbed and stubborn (like cats themselves).

MORE: The 13 things that will definitely happen on a dog walk

4. Litter trays

I’d take a small plastic bag of poo over a tray of toilet in my kitchen every time.

5. You can teach dogs to dance

And sit down, and roll over, and come to you when you call. They’ll make you feel powerful. Cats can’t be taught to do anything, they care nothing for your status.

6. You can take dogs to the pub

And even some restaurants these days. Don’t have mates? Don’t worry, your canine companion means you never have to look like you’re on your own again.

7. Cats go MIA

Dogs want to see you every day, all the time every day if they could. At the very least they like to know where you are. Cats disappear for days on end, sometimes you haven’t seen them for so long you’re not sure if they’re missing or just out. What’s the point?

8. Dogs bark

Just to say hello or to let you know the postman is here or that the house is burning down. Cats make a noise only if they want something or if you do something for them – a rare meow or the odd potboiler purr (I don’t trust any animal that can vibrate).

9. Cats are creepy

Let’s not disagree about this, it’s true. Not for nothing does the archetypal witch travel with one on her broom. Dogs are open, cats keep it hidden.

10. Dogs are happy

Happy to see you, happy to be alive, just happy. And they make you happy. Cats are happy too but they will never show it or share it.

11. Cats get pleasure from hurting you



On the rare occasions moggy makes it onto your lap you’ll end up in pain as the cat paws and claws you with delight. You, so pleased to actually be in contact with your pet, puts up with it and show off the scratches as a badge of honour. Sick.

12. Dogs know important stuff

Like when you’re sad or ill and will act accordingly. Cats don’t even know you’re alive, and yet you still have to spend money on them.

(Picture: Blend Images/REX)

13. No need for food recycling

Never feel guilty about out of date or left over food again, your dog will willingly take care of it for you. Cats only want to be fed delicious morsels carefully selected for them and served up by beautiful women like Eva Longoria and Christina Hendricks, they won’t eat your plate scrapings.

14. Cats are too dramatic

Visitors beware! New furniture alert! Loud TV theme tune! Anything out of the ordinary will have your cat climbing the walls wearing their comedy sticking up fur suit in outrage. Dogs will take that stuff in their stride.

15. Furballs

I mean, what is that about?

MORE: Proof that dogs are nicer than humans?

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