Yes...there are many things in my life that cause pain, but they do not define me. This is not to say that we should not be sad, grieve, or reflect on that which pains us. Rather, we should use these 'things' as a point of growth. It is important to make honest self-assessments of who we are and where we are emotionally, spiritual, and physically. I don't think it is OK to let the negative define us. Pema Chödrön calls this a stuck pattern. Darkness will only lead to more darkness. On the worse of day...all I need to do is put a smile on my face and in an instant my disposition changes. It may only be for a moment...but sometimes that is all I really need. It is kind of like a defibrillation for the soul. I know first hand just how embarrassing it is to acknowledge that which brings pain in my life. I would suggest it took me 7+ years to accept there was something wrong with me. (PTSD) It was painful to seek help. Pema Chödrön suggests that there is much healing in recognizing what is causing pain. I agree. It is very therapeutic to just talk about "it!"

“…feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.”

― Pema Chödrön

Perhaps, instead of labeling and criticizing everything, you can just..."think" about it. Basically, changing your perspective. Much like a smile, it will change your current disposition.

The graphic above perfectly illustrates a common misunderstanding. YOU are already the best you can be. You're perfect. You are always "Full," no matter what. What determines your happiness...is...YOU and what you chose to focus on. No matter how bad things are for you right now...somewhere there is someone who wishes they were you...because that would be easier. You can make things easier. You have all the tools you need. Change your perspective. Be grateful for that which you have. There is an old sage advice that suggests that if you want everything you have...then you will have everything you need. Use that which pains you as a point of growth and healing.

For the record...this isn't easy! It takes work. Lots of it! I struggle with this all the time. It is very easy to allow myself to sit in the corner of my couch and avoid everything. It is also just as easy to get up...and take action. For me, that is yoga and meditation. Without these practices...I have no idea where I would be today...or worse...who I would be.