Some women are too nice.

Why don’t more of us grimace in disgust when we hear about men who sleep with an obscene number of women?

Why don’t we crinkle our noses and call them “whores,” “thots,” and “sluts” for sticking their veined piccolos into anything that breathes?

And how come more women don’t wave off man-whores and shun them for not being “husband material”?

Shoot, I do. When it comes to promiscuous men, all I can envision is a dusty ding-a-ling – surrounded by pesky, whizzing flies – depicting grime and filth à la Pig-Pen from Charlie Brown.

The same way most men claim they wouldn’t “wife” a woman who’s been thottin’ and boppin’ around town, I don’t see why women would want something that’s been retweeted a few too many times, if you know what I mean.

I’m just sayin’ – maybe, just maybe men would rethink their lax attitudes toward reckless sex if more women said, “Wait, you’ve slept with how many girls? I wouldn’t let you touch me with a pitchfork!” Treat ‘em like lepers and they’d be a little more careful about how many – er – “bearded clams” they consume.

The tension-filled debate on “slut shaming” zooms in on how we should ease off on female sexual liberation and let women do their thang, but if you ask me, we should be jacking up the pressure on libertine men for all their willy-nilly sexual activities.

In a nutshell, why aren’t we “slut-shaming” men?

Some women, not all, shrug their shoulders with a laissez-faire attitude about a man who’s been around the block way too many damn times.

“Boys will be boys,” they say.

One must scratch their head in befuddlement when these famous, superstar male womanizers, and I ain’t namin’ no names, are spreading their sappy seeds near and far – baby mamas here, baby mamas there – and for some illogical reason, not only do some women find ’em desirable, but actually they fight over ‘em.

It’s like watching women elbow each other for one soggy, half-eaten fry when there’s plenty of fresh potato wedges to go around.

Seeing their track record, I can’t imagine why a woman would ever believe she’d be the last baby mama. Congratulations, you are now a new member of his harem – enjoy the complimentary part-time fatherhood, well, that’s if you’re lucky.

Now many could say money is the impetus behind why these silly women go nuts for these promiscuous men, but I see regular schmegular people dealing with the same BS. So what’s their excuse?

It’s an unpopular opinion, but while men get their panties in a bunch and slut-shame Instagram “models” whose only crime is being immodestly visually pleasing, I don’t see why women should turn a blind eye to the satyromaniacs of this world.

As far as I know, “slut,” “thot,” and “whore” are not gender-specific words, so all these male hoes can get some disrespect on their names.

Now for those squirming and making the Arthur fist, you should know that this piece is satirical – sometimes flipping the perspective on the “slut shaming” conversation can help us chew over the absurdity of it all.

Kimberly Gedeon, founder of The Melody of Melanin, is a content creator and illustrator with nearly 2,000 professional articles published online about everything from beauty and business to politics and pop culture. You can say hello to her on Instagram or Twitter – she doesn’t bite!