male-defined femininity is a display of submission. it’s totally not wrong to engage with it as a measure of self defense in a fucked up world, but unless we call it what it is, nobody is ever gonna be able to self-empathize about how fucked up it is that they don’t feel lovable or human unless their face is hidden under makeup, or they glue more eyelashes onto their eyelids, or their clothes fit just right. it is fucked up that women are trained often starting in infancy to eventually feel that way. framing this as normal is twisted