In the Australian’s long-running campaign to discredit the ABC there have been some questionable stories, but this week the national broadsheet excelled itself with a story so idiotic even its target is laughing.

On Wednesday a picture story on page three of the Oz took aim at the ABC political editor, Andrew Probyn, for “possibly” posing as a Liberal politician behind a pot plant in a re-enactment on 7.30.

The Australian (@australian) The ABC has refused to clarify for two days whether its top political editor posed as a bullying MP in a staged re-enactment of the treatment of female Liberal MPs during the leadership turmoil in Canberra https://t.co/vlZXupMtdR

“Mystery surrounds the identity of the person – possibly the ABC political editor Andrew Probyn – who appears in the scene with his face obscured by objects, including an office pot plant,” the story said.

Labelled with a big red “exclusive”, the yarn took media reporter Lilly Vitorovich two days to stand up, possibly because she was frustrated by the refusal of the ABC to confirm that it was indeed Probyn behind the pot plant. But Oz staffers say not to blame the Oz’s new media reporter, Vitorovich, because she was handed a “shit sandwich” by those on high.

“It is not the first time Probyn’s reporting has been in the spotlight,” Vitorovich said in an apparent reference to Coalition complaints about the ABC’s reporting of the byelections.

When Canberra press gallery colleagues Chris Uhlmann and Phillip Coorey posted photos of themselves hiding behind pot plants, Probyn retweeted them. Despite widespread mocking on social media, and the hastag #jesuisprobyn, the Oz was still in hot pursuit of their mystery man on Thursday.

This time Vitorovich teamed up with media editor Darren Davidson and sought the views of well-known ABC critics: the former ABC chairman Maurice Newman and the former media watchdog chief David Flint.

Newman elevated the mystery to a cover-up: “I don’t understand why you have to have this cover-up – what are they covering up?”

The accusation that Probyn has done anything wrong or unusual is absurd because journalists often stand in for characters in the process of making television or radio, or even podcasting. As the Oz would be well aware, a long list of its own journalists “acted” in the hit podcast The Teacher’s Pet, including media diarist Stephen Brook, business reporters Andrew White, Scott Murdoch and Turi Condon, sports editor Wally Mason and deputy editor Petra Rees.

Gaven Morris (@gavmorris) For the record, I admit I have previously been the translated voice of Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein in television news reports. You’re welcome @australian .. just saved you two days of research. https://t.co/PtbHRW6iI1

Cash for comments

The Brisbane supreme court ordered the broadcaster Alan Jones to pay more than $3.4m in damages for defamation of a Queensland family on Wednesday, a record sum after Rebel Wilson’s payout was reduced on appeal.

The local News Corp tabloid, the Courier-Mail, gave the story a decent run but Jones’s home state paper, the Daily Telegraph, buried it with three paragraphs on page eight.

While Jones works for radio station 2GB, which is owned by Fairfax Media, he is a favourite son of the Murdoch empire.

Jones allegedly played a key role in bringing down Malcolm Turnbull and has his own show on Sky News’ After Dark line-up, Jones and Co. Nine’s political editor, Chris Uhlmann, famously called Jones and stablemate Ray Hadley and News Corp “bullies” and “players”. There was a nugget hidden in the Jones judgment, in a reference to Nick Cater’s role in the saga. The Spectator, in which the article appeared, has an extremely limited readership of 3,000.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest The ABC’s fictional character Larry is played by actor Dylan Hesp, pictured, centre, in the ABC comedy Sando. Photograph: ABC TV

Happy as Larry?

When Guardian Australia revealed that the ABC’s latest attempt to improve morale was a series of thank you cards featuring a character called Larry, one staffer memorably said: “It’s like the Wiggles for grown-ups. I mean, who the fuck is Larry?” Well, we’ve found Larry and we can confirm he is not an actual employee of the ABC.

Dylan Hesp (@DylanHesp) Interesting day so far pic.twitter.com/HkOtLjDIAY

Larry is the actor and stand-up comedian Dylan Hesp, who had his first big break on ABC TV’s comedy Sando earlier this year.

Management liked him so much they signed him up to be the face of ABC Principles, in which staff are encouraged to give each other Larry cards for being a good colleague.

Georgie Burgess (@GeorgieJBurgess) I’m really collecting these bad boys now #thankyou pic.twitter.com/Tj7tcjYz3O

Back to school

Staff at the Australian have been undertaking compulsory face-to-face legal training this week. Reporters, editors and subeditors attended sessions held in-house over two days. Sources say this is unusual because legal training is usually done online, if at all. It may be in response to a damaging finding in the supreme court earlier this year. The newspaper was found in contempt of Victoria’s judicial system after publishing a series of stories that referred to the criminal history of construction union boss John Setka before he faced court. Blackmail charges against Setka and another Victorian unionist were dropped in May.

The Australian has pleaded guilty to contempt and is trying to mitigate damages by demonstrating that staff are being retrained, sources say. A spokeswoman for News Corp did not respond to a request for comment.

Fake news

A few days after Tonightly with Tom Ballard left the stage, the ABC announced production had started in Melbourne on an “exciting new weekly panel show” called Tomorrow Tonight.

We weren’t the only ones to ask if the name was a joke, given that Ballard and co had bowed out with a gag about a rightwing version of the show, working title “Torightly”, and an episode set in 2068 called “Tomorrowly”.

Tomorrow Tonight will be hosted by the comedian Charlie Pickering and the journalist Annabel Crabb and will feature a panel of experts and comedians discussing a fictional news story.

Pickering: “I’m excited to take a break from making fun of the news to have a go at making up some news of our own, which could all turn out to be true any day now.”

Crabb: “The escalating lunacy of domestic and global events in recent years is a sombre reminder to us all that we should be prepared for things to get even weirder. Tomorrow Tonight is – under these circumstances – a cornerstone obligation of the ABC charter. Jokes included at no additional public expense.”

Awkward encounter

Bulldogs fans were delighted to see a photo of the Daily Telegraph’s rugby league journalist Phil “Buzz” Rothfield enjoying a night out with a scantily clad “sex bomb” sitting on his lap. Delighted because it followed Rothfield’s strong defence of the paper’s story about Bulldogs players mucking up at a private party for which they copped a massive fine. Rothfield said the players were mugs for “getting naked in a public place in such a disgusting manner” and got into a heated argument on television after authorities imposed a $250,000 fine.

The photo got a lot of attention when it was retweeted by Fairfax Media’s Kate McClymont who coyly asked “where was Buzz”.

Kate McClymont (@Kate_McClymont) Where was Buzz? @BuzzRothfield According to SexBomb's website: Looking for a night of pleasure...that will get your heartbeats racing, mouths drooling & your desire skyrocketing? Well, you’re in luck, boys. Sexbomb is the leading and most sensual provider of adult entertainment" https://t.co/C6G1qJrZfy

Soon after, Rothfield contacted her to say he doesn’t go to “grubby events and was at a Lions Club kids’ cancer charity at Doltone House, Sylvania. “Unbeknown to me some of the hostesses were wearing lingerie,” Buzz said. “Put it this way, I was smiling for a good cause.”