PHOENIX – More and more over the past two months, Dwight Howard has smiled the real smile.

He has joked with people to make himself happy instead of worrying about making them laugh. He has accepted both criticism and advice of others and come away a bigger man because he’s not trying so hard to judge himself compared to any others.

Howard is growing all on his own, single-mindedly focused on who he wants to be, and he has taken another major step forward in his career by leaving the business manager who has been Howard’s primary advisor his entire career, Kevin Samples.

“We had nine great years together,” Howard told me late Monday night. “Just time to go separate ways.”

For all the intangible growth Howard has discovered recently, breaking away from Samples is a concrete gesture that the past is the past – and Howard is confident in calling his own shots in the future.

“I know what I want to accomplish,” Howard said. “I’ve always written down my goals and everything I want, and I want to make sure I get ’em. Everything I’ve lost, everything that’s gone away, I’m going to get it back.”

Samples came to Los Angeles with Howard after the trade to the Lakers, and it was hard to envision him not being around considering they’re actually first cousins – and Howard’s parents dispatched Samples to live with Howard in Orlando right after the 2004 NBA draft as a big brother/guidance counselor/business manager.

Their relationship grew into Dwight Howard Enterprises, which had two and only two officers: Howard and Samples.

For Howard to sever the tie is no small statement.

“He’s still my cousin, my family, so we’ll always be around each other,” Howard said. “But we just parted ways on the business side.”

Someone should’ve been fired for the “Dwightmare” in Orlando, for sure. But Howard’s M.O. has never been to hold an employee accountable like some cold-hearted taskmaster.

What has changed is Howard can reflect on what went awry in Orlando with a healthy perspective now: He wanted to leave the Magic organization, but not really the people and the community that had become so connected to him. He needed to venture out to grow and deep-down he knew it – but he was a little scared to try something that big and new.

Howard was a little scared as he started out with the Lakers, too – unsure about his body after back surgery and lacking his usual freakish physical dominance. Even as Lakers general manager Mitch Kupchak was behind the scenes reclaiming his spot on the All-Virtue team for patience, frustration grew from teammates and coaches over Howard not more aggressively testing the limits of what he could give the Lakers.

Howard maintains that it was mostly his lack of physical fitness that stopped him, but maybe he looked chicken because nothing was egging him on.

Howard’s major breakthrough was in attitude.

No more whining about touches in the post – replaced by a total commitment to defending and rebounding, plus creating devastating pick-and-roll ball with two legendary ball-handlers Kobe Bryant and Steve Nash.

No more excuses about his body – which Howard still managed to bring in at a career-low 5.8 percent body fat to start the season and drop down further to 5.0. No more needing time to wait and hope for less pain from the torn labrum in his right shoulder. Instead, a commitment to cutting sugar out of his diet for two months and pushing his conditioning to the point that it meant even humbly asking out of a game.

Rather than spouting clichés about the Lakers needing to do the right things to start winning, Howard simply started doing those things that he knows are right.

And when you live life like that, you can’t help but feel comfortable in your own skin.

That’s how Howard could be so unflappable as he marched through the fire of his Orlando homecoming one week ago.

Bryant advised Howard to be a killer, but that’s Bryant. What Howard is learning more from Bryant is how not to surrender to the fear of failure.

When Kobe isn’t being afraid to fail, he is a killer.

But when Dwight isn’t being afraid to fail, he is a joy.

So Howard played his game, had his fun and got the victory in Orlando, telling hecklers “Thank you” or “Let it go” or “I’m going to get mine” depending on how he felt – not giving anyone’s hateful words or outside opinions the power to control him.

Even Monday night in Phoenix, Howard launched a series of jump shots – missing some, banking one in quite nicely. The reflexive reaction is to term it a low-percentage play, but understand this: It’s a kind of progress for Howard.

He hates to miss shots. It’s a huge part of his free-throw anxiety. He gets more caught up in the crowd’s reaction than his own satisfaction – and even more so feels their dismay when he misses. What Kendrick Perkins figured out in becoming a Dwight-stopper was that Howard really only wanted to take shots he knew he would make – dunks – and with everything else was afraid to fail, afraid what other people would think if he did.

Now Howard is trending in the other direction, though.

He believes more than ever that there is more for him to learn and accomplish – and through that mentality, all the power is his. No more tricks meant solely to impress and amaze the audience.

The magic act is over. There’s a job to do and a personal legacy to build.