WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

A local city worker has been thrown into a state of confusion and self-doubt this afternoon.

This week, the one and only Paul Kelly stopped by to play us some of his hits, debut a new song and answer a whole raft of questions, like how to make gravy and is every fucking city the same?

The existential crisis came on after the finance sector employee named Jake Brailey was thrown a somewhat abstract curveball just moments ago.

Sitting in the same seat he does every day in Betoota’s Old City District the upper-middle-class white-collar male was confronted by an online security ‘Captcha’ asking him to demonstrate he was not a robot.

However rather than just simply ticking the box and getting on with whatever form he was filling out or platform he was logging into, the young man reportedly froze.

Sitting there for some time in a mid-afternoon lull, Brailey was left questioning his very being.

“I’m not a robot,” he whispered to himself.

“But then again, maybe I am. I’m living the generic white picket fence life, living for the weekend, only so I can go and be in the outdoors or go shopping for stuff I don’t really need or even want.”

“I want to become a partner, just so I can enjoy everything that comes with that status, but what else am I living for?”

“Maybe I am a robot,” said the man having an Albert Camus moment.

The young man reportedly tried to tell the Captcha ‘a bit about himself as a person,’ before verbally stumbling and walking off to the bathroom to wash his face and look himself in the mirror.

Returning to the computer a short time later the young man clicked the box and finished whatever it was he was doing.

“That was fucked, I’m not sure what came over me,” he said to our reporters.

“Anyway, that sort of self-awareness has no place in this office, and my life in general, so I’ll just treat it as an odd little anomaly.”

“Anyway I’ve got social mixed touch on this evening so I’ve gotta go now.”

More to come.