(Ed. Note: As the Stanley Cup Playoffs continue, we're bound to lose some friends along the journey. We've asked for these losers, gone but not forgotten, to be eulogized by the people who knew the teams best: The bloggers and fans who hated them the most. Here is Steve Dangle of The Steve Dangle Podcast, who wanted to eulogize someone and the wheel stopped on the 2015-16 Minnesota Wild.)

(Again, this was not written by us. Also: This is a roast and you will be offended by it, so don't take it so seriously.)

BY STEVE DANGLE

Dear Southern Winnipeggers, we are gathered here today to remember the Minnesota Wild. Nothing actually happened to them, I just often need to be reminded that they exist.

Nonetheless, their hopes of winning the Stanley Cup this season are dead. Unfortunately, we'll have to forego a burial. Getting torched for 21 goals in six games was enough of a cremation on its own.

But there is something to celebrate: Congratulations to the Minnesota Wild on becoming the first thing Jamie Benn has ever eaten …

Furthermore, congratulations to the Minnesota Wild on being the second-best green team in the NHL out of two. Whether it’s their Canadian goose poop-colored jerseys or their bloody morning booger-colored jerseys, they still wear their colors with pride.

Their fierce, and dare I say wild, logo reminds me of their famous state slogan: “Minnesota: We have… trees?”

View photos Wild More

Minnesota has been through a lot over the past quarter century or so. The North Stars left in 1993, and they’ve been searching for an NHL team ever since.

You might be thinking, “Hey at least the Wild actually make the playoffs.” True, but as is often the case, Minnesota’s playoff success relied on Patrick Roy failing to get the job done.

The Wild had coaching struggles of their own. After a rancid skid in which Minnesota lost 13 out of 14 games, and after Chuck Fletcher was informed that Connor McDavid had actually already been drafted last year, the Wild decided to fire Mike Yeo and replace him with Patrick Warburton.

View photos Tick More

The star of The Tick and those National Car Rental commercials managed to coach the Wild all the way to round one of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. During Game 6 of their series with the Dallas Stars, they found themselves down 4-0 after 40 minutes. For two periods they made Kari Lehtonen look like J.S. Giguere.

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