To view past editions of The Hill's 12:30 Report, click here: http://bit.ly/1M1mIfw

To receive The Hill's 12:30 Report in your inbox, please sign up here: http://bit.ly/1Tt4hqN

--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Inside the Mueller report | Report drops amid political firestorm | Mueller unable to 'conclusively' determine 'no criminal conduct occurred' | Report details '10 episodes' Mueller probed for obstruction | Trump calls it a 'good day' | Declares 'Game Over' with 'Game of Thrones' image | Barr offers staunch defense of Trump | Dems furious at AG | Nadler wants Mueller to testify before May 23

BREAKING

The Mueller report is here.:

Attorney General William Barr Bill BarrHarris faces pivotal moment with Supreme Court battle Hillicon Valley: DOJ proposes tech liability shield reform to Congress | Treasury sanctions individuals, groups tied to Russian malign influence activities | House Republican introduces bill to set standards for self-driving cars McCarthy threatens motion to oust Pelosi if she moves forward with impeachment MORE just publicly released a redacted version of special counsel Robert Mueller Robert (Bob) MuellerCNN's Toobin warns McCabe is in 'perilous condition' with emboldened Trump CNN anchor rips Trump over Stone while evoking Clinton-Lynch tarmac meeting The Hill's 12:30 Report: New Hampshire fallout MORE’s report on his investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election. http://bit.ly/2KLFxQ8

Full text of the Mueller report --> http://bit.ly/2PjwJiW

How to find updates as we learn more from the report: Here’s a live blog as more details and takeaways are pulled from the report: http://bit.ly/2IHyANd

WHAT WE'VE LEARNED FROM THE REPORT SO FAR:

Bloomberg published a searchable version: The PDF of the Mueller report could not be searched. But here is a searchable copy: http://bit.ly/2PkfVZh

The biggest news we’ve learned so far: Special counsel Robert Mueller said he was not able to “conclusively determine” that no criminal conduct occurred on whether Trump obstructed justice. http://bit.ly/2Xov66p

The quote — Mueller said he didn’t have enough evidence to exonerate Trump of obstruction of justice: "If we had confidence after a thorough investigation of the facts that the President clearly did not commit obstruction of justice, we would so state,” the report reads. http://bit.ly/2GwiWTx

Mueller outlines 10 instances he investigated for possible obstruction:

More on each here: http://bit.ly/2IM4nNn

Trump directed Don McGahn to fire Robert Mueller: "The Mueller report says that on June 17, Trump called Don McGahn at home and directed him to call the acting attorney general and say Mueller 'had conflicts of interest and must be removed.' McGahn declined to do so." http://bit.ly/2UsmR7E

^ Read that except in the Mueller report: http://bit.ly/2Zu54AO

Trump tried to influence the investigation, but people around him declined to carry out his orders: “The President’s efforts to influence the investigation were mostly unsuccessful, but that is largely because the persons who surrounded the President declined to carry out orders or accede to his requests,” the report reads. http://bit.ly/2XhsEi6

A takeaway from the obstruction of justice section: "Having read through a lot of the obstruction section, one constant theme is that basically everyone had, at one point, disregard what Trump told them to do because they felt they'd be committing a crime." (Via The Daily Beast's Sam Stein) http://bit.ly/2GrWn0W

Trump feared Mueller’s appointment: When Robert Mueller was appointed as special counsel in 2017, Trump said, “Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency. I’m f---ed.” http://bit.ly/2Pis1lI

Read Barr’s accompanying letter to Congress: Barr emphasizes transparency. http://bit.ly/2KXFaSu

What the redactions look like: http://bit.ly/2IFv2eA

Oh hello there, page 20:

Throwback — if you want to compare to Barr’s 4-page summary: Here’s Barr’s 4-page summary of the Mueller report that was released in late March. Read: https://nyti.ms/2CBRAcp

It's a busy Thursday in Washington. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

Did someone forward this to you? Want your own copy? Sign up here to receive The Hill's 12:30 Report in your inbox daily: http://bit.ly/2kjMNnn

THIS MORNING

Picture the Dothraki screaming and charging in from one corner -- and the Lannisters charging in from the other side.

That is Washington today:

SIGHTS AND SOUNDS:

Live footage of newsrooms preparing this morning ;) http://bit.ly/2Ut66tb

How the Mueller report was distributed: By compact disc. I'm not kidding.

Hey, can I get a floppy disc version?

The problem with delivering the report on CDs: "AG Barr says he's going to bring copies of the report to the House and Senate Judiciary Committee chairs and rankers. [Senate Judiciary Chairman Lindsey Graham Lindsey Olin GrahamSenate GOP aims to confirm Trump court pick by Oct. 29: report The Hill's Campaign Report: GOP set to ask SCOTUS to limit mail-in voting Senate GOP sees early Supreme Court vote as political booster shot MORE] is currently on a CODEL in Africa." http://bit.ly/2VQVohz

Photo of Barr leaving for work this morning: When you know it's going to be A DAY.: http://bit.ly/2IGybuL

Photo of the letter sent to Mueller asking him to testify: House Judiciary Chair Rep. Jerrold Nadler Jerrold (Jerry) Lewis NadlerDemocrats shoot down talk of expanding Supreme Court Schumer: 'Nothing is off the table' if GOP moves forward with Ginsburg replacement Top Democrats call for DOJ watchdog to probe Barr over possible 2020 election influence MORE (D-N.Y.) signed a letter to special counsel Robert Mueller asking him to testify by May 23. http://bit.ly/2Dl95xY

We're all in this together: The House Judiciary Committee gave its team doughnuts this morning -- and via The Hill's Olivia Beavers, "even offered extras to hungry reporters." http://bit.ly/2Zj3ph8

THIS MORNING, HOURS BEFORE THE REPORT WAS RELEASED:

Attorney General William Barr and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein Rod RosensteinDOJ kept investigators from completing probe of Trump ties to Russia: report Five takeaways from final Senate Intel Russia report FBI officials hid copies of Russia probe documents fearing Trump interference: book MORE held a press conference at 9:30 a.m. to discuss the Mueller report.

Why this timing infuriated Democrats: House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) criticized Barr, accusing him of trying to spin the release to help President Trump Donald John TrumpBiden on Trump's refusal to commit to peaceful transfer of power: 'What country are we in?' Romney: 'Unthinkable and unacceptable' to not commit to peaceful transition of power Two Louisville police officers shot amid Breonna Taylor grand jury protests MORE. Barr held the press conference ~hours before~ Congress received the Mueller report. https://fxn.ws/2DkOZ78

^ Oh and this new reporting didn't help -- the White House has been involved: Via The New York Times, "Justice Department officials have had numerous conversations with White House lawyers about the conclusions made by Mr. Mueller, the special counsel, in recent days, according to people with knowledge of the discussions. The talks have aided the president's legal team as it prepares a rebuttal to the report and strategizes for the coming public war over its findings." https://nyti.ms/2ZiLcjM

For context: Here are five things to know about William Barr: http://bit.ly/2PkwfZZ

Video of the press conference: https://cs.pn/2GpJVPt

NEWS FROM BARR'S PRESS CONFERENCE:

The gist of Barr's remarks: Attorney General William Barr offered a robust defense of President Trump. http://bit.ly/2GkjIBU

Barr says there was no collusion in the Trump campaign: "We now know the Russian operatives who perpetrated these schemes did not have cooperation of Trump or his campaign or knowing assistance of any other American for that matter." http://bit.ly/2PgQaJj

Barr kept reiterating that point: "Put it another way, the report found no collusion." http://bit.ly/2KRGyWW

Barr tried to explain Trump's actions: "President Trump faced an unprecedented situation. As he entered into office, and sought to perform his responsibilities as president, federal agents and prosecutors were scrutinizing his conduct before and after taking office and the conduct of some of his associates." http://bit.ly/2GkjIBU

Barr said Trump 'fully cooperated with the special counsel's investigation': "At the same time, the president took no act that in fact deprived the special counsel of the documents and witnesses necessary to complete his investigation," Barr told reporters. "Apart from whether the acts were obstructive, this evidence of non-corrupt motives weighs heavily against any allegation that the president had a corrupt intent to obstruct the investigation." http://bit.ly/2GkjIBU

A group of lawmakers will see the unredacted report: "In an effort to accommodate congressional requests, we will make available to a bipartisan group of leaders from several Congressional committees a version of the report with all redactions removed except those relating to grand-jury information." http://bit.ly/2VRFKlT

Trump's team saw the redacted report earlier this week: "Earlier this week, the President's personal counsel requested and was given the opportunity to read a final version of the redacted report before it was publicly released." http://bit.ly/2Iy695t

Barr explains the redactions: Barr said there are "limited redactions" and that "no material has been redacted based on executive privilege." http://bit.ly/2ZlmpeY

TRUMP'S REACTIONS THROUGHOUT THE MORNING:

At 7:54 a.m., Trump tweeted: "The Greatest Political Hoax of all time! Crimes were committed by Crooked, Dirty Cops and DNC/The Democrats." http://bit.ly/2GoUbaq

At 8:07 a.m., Trump tweeted: "PRESIDENTIAL HARASSMENT!" http://bit.ly/2UINwSE

At 8:54 a.m., Trump tweeted: "No Collusion - No Obstruction!" http://bit.ly/2UrxFmz

(At 9:30 a.m.: Attorney General William Barr's press conference began.)

At 9:57 a.m., Trump tweeted: Trump used the logo from HBO's "Game of Thrones." "No collusion. No obstruction. For the haters and the radical left Democrats -- GAME OVER." The edited 'Game of Thrones' image: http://bit.ly/2PpsN0t

(At 11:03 a.m., the Mueller report was publicly released.)

At 11:10 a.m., Trump spoke during an event: "I'm having a good day ... It's called no collusion, no obstruction." Trump also said: "This should never happen to another president again. This hoax. It should never happen to another president again. Thank you." http://bit.ly/2UqCFaZ

OTHER REACTIONS THIS MORNING:

Top Dems call on Mueller to testify: Speaker Nancy Pelosi Nancy PelosiHoyer: House should vote on COVID-19 aid — with or without a bipartisan deal Ruth Bader Ginsburg lies in repose at Supreme Court McCarthy threatens motion to oust Pelosi if she moves forward with impeachment MORE (D-Calif.) and Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer Chuck SchumerCruz blocks amended resolution honoring Ginsburg over language about her dying wish Senate Democrats introduce legislation to probe politicization of pandemic response Schumer interrupted during live briefing by heckler: 'Stop lying to the people' MORE (D-N.Y.) called on special counsel Robert Mueller to testify. They wrote in a joint statement: "We believe the only way to begin restoring public trust in the handling of the Special Counsel's investigation is for Special Counsel Mueller himself to provide public testimony in the House and Senate as soon as possible." http://bit.ly/2VR82gs

Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) tweeted: "AG Barr has confirmed the staggering partisan effort by the Trump Admin to spin public's view of the #MuellerReport – complete with acknowledgment that the Trump team received a sneak preview. It's more urgent than ever that Special Counsel Mueller testify before Congress." http://bit.ly/2vbEXAL

From Trump's lawyer Rudy Giuliani Rudy GiulianiThe Hill's Campaign Report: GOP set to ask SCOTUS to limit mail-in voting CIA found Putin 'probably directing' campaign against Biden: report Democrats fear Russia interference could spoil bid to retake Senate MORE: Politico's Darren Samuelsohn tweeted, "Trump personal attorney Rudy Giuliani in a text message just now wrote me, 'Knockout.'" http://bit.ly/2vcJlPQ

Just now — statement from the Trump campaign: The campaign claims exoneration and says “the tables have turned.” Read the full statement: http://bit.ly/2Un2k4t

IN OTHER NEWS

Hidden in all the Mueller news today -- McConnell's bill to raise the tobacco age:

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell Addison (Mitch) Mitchell McConnellFEC flags McConnell campaign over suspected accounting errors Poll: 59 percent think president elected in November should name next Supreme Court justice Mark Kelly: Arizona Senate race winner should be sworn in 'promptly' MORE (R-Ky.) announced this morning that he is introducing legislation to raise the national minimum age to buy tobacco from 18 to 21. http://bit.ly/2PlTXVW

That includes: All tobacco products including vaping devices.

Any exemptions?: This proposal would exempt individuals serving in the military.

McConnell said in a statement: "For some time, I've been hearing from the parents who are seeing an unprecedented spike in vaping among their teenage children. In addition, we all know people who started smoking at a young age and who struggled to quit as adults. Unfortunately it's reaching epidemic levels around the country."

When McConnell will introduce the legislation: In May.

Perry's losing energy:

Via Bloomberg's Jennifer Jacobs, Jennifer A. Dlouhy and Ari Natter, Energy Secretary Rick Perry Rick PerryEnergy secretary questions consensus that humans cause climate change OVERNIGHT ENERGY: Democrats push resolution to battle climate change, sluggish economy and racial injustice | Senators reach compromise on greenhouse gas amendment stalling energy bill | Trump courts Florida voters with offshore drilling moratorium OVERNIGHT ENERGY: Trump signs major conservation bill into law | Senate votes to confirm Energy's No. 2 official | Trump Jr. expresses opposition to Pebble Mine project MORE is planning to leave the Trump administration. https://bloom.bg/2PhYBny

When: His departure is not imminent, but Perry is reportedly preparing the Energy Department's deputy secretary to take over.

Perry has been floated for DHS Secretary -- where that stands: "Trump personally asked Perry if he'd take over as Homeland Security secretary, before the president asked Kirstjen Nielsen Kirstjen Michele NielsenMore than million in DHS contracts awarded to firm of acting secretary's wife: report DHS IG won't investigate after watchdog said Wolf, Cuccinelli appointments violated law Appeals court sides with Trump over drawdown of immigrant protections MORE to resign earlier this month, two of the people said. Perry declined, they said."

NOTABLE TWEETS

I just thought you should know:

Full-size photo: http://bit.ly/2L2i7Gz

ON TAP

The House and Senate are out. President Trump and Vice President Pence are in Washington, D.C. Trump is leaving for his Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Fla., later today.

11:45 a.m. EDT: President Trump met with Secretary of State Mike Pompeo Michael (Mike) Richard PompeoTreasury sanctions individuals, groups tied to Russian malign influence activities Navalny released from hospital after suspected poisoning Overnight Defense: Pentagon redirects pandemic funding to defense contractors | US planning for full Afghanistan withdrawal by May | Anti-Trump GOP group puts ads in military papers MORE.

1:30 p.m. EDT: President Trump receives an intelligence briefing.

4 p.m. EDT: President Trump and first lady Melania Trump Melania TrumpTrump privately blamed Black Americans for lacking initiative: report The Hill's 12:30 Report: Ginsburg lies in repose Melania Trump: Ginsburg's 'spirit will live on in all she has inspired' MORE leave for his Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Fla.

Today: France is holding a daylong tribute to the firefighters who saved the Notre Dame Cathedral. http://bit.ly/2UGMV3Q

WHAT TO WATCH

9:30 a.m. EDT: Attorney General William Barr and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein held a press conference to discuss the Mueller report, ahead of its release. Video: https://cs.pn/2GpJVPt

10:30 a.m. EDT: President Trump spoke at the Wounded Warrior Project Soldier Ride. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2VTgFqC

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Animal Crackers Day.

D.C. real estate is pretty interesting:

Via Washingtonian, here's a list of the 100 priciest zip codes in the Washington, D.C. area: http://bit.ly/2vat9hV

And because it's been an intense morning and you deserve something lighter, here's a dog learning about the responsibility involved in taking other dogs for walks: http://bit.ly/2ItOYla