A weekly comic strip, covering politics, pop culture, and the absurd.

How to Opt-In to Your Rights

Say "Miranda Rights" three times into a mirror. "Miranda! Miranda! Miranda!"

Wait between 4pm & 10pm for a Supreme Court Justice to activate your rights.

Power cycle the judiciary.

Fill out and return the product registration card that comes with your baby. "certificate of birth"

Enter the Konami Code on your passport to give yourself 30 secret rights.

Jiggle the Bill of Rights until it works.

Text a rights request to the government. "Can I haz abortion? LOL! SRSLY, tho, FYI: Getting embryo out."

Loudly declare the rights you intend to use. "Free speech, comin' through!" Fuck Scalia, Roberts, Thomas, Kennedy, & Alito!

