Anonymous asked: but pretty much non asexual people need to form a close bond before they can have romantic attraction? i'm so confused about demiromantic sorry. this day and age we've squashed the concept of "love at first sight".

Yeah, no, we haven’t. We live in a society that puts more emphasis on sexual attraction at first sight, but romantic attraction definitely is still a driving factor. Crushes? Romantic attraction, often without a close bond, sometimes without any kind of a bond whatsoever.

Also, all you need to do is go watch a few romcoms to see that society is head over heels in love with the idea of love at first sight. Hell, it’s in all the media everywhere. Peeta Mellark - loved Katniss for years before he’d ever talked to her. Angel (on Buffy the Vampire Slayer) - says something about loving her because he could see her heart, then spends a season being weird before owning up to his crush on her. Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann - I can’t remember the wording, but they crushed on each other since they were 10 and societal standards kept them from having even a friendship. Anakin Skywalker. Most Shakespearean couples. Don’t give me that kind of crap - romantic attraction at first sight is definitely a thing.

And as a demiromantic, I really don’t appreciate you trying to downplay and erase my identity. I am a very extreme case of demiromanticism, so using myself as an example should be dramatic enough for you. All of the people I’ve met and befriended over the years have been nothing but platonic, except for one person. My best friend of now 13 years is the person I am closest to in the world. I trust her with everything, she knows everything about me, our bond is unshakeable. She is the only person I have ever been romantically attracted to - I need that strong of a bond to even start to feel romantic attraction. I am demiromantic. Getting to know someone a bit and then developing a crush? Doesn’t cut it. That’s just alloromanticism. You’ve got to have that close bond element.

-Kiowa