So, it turns out that Sunday was a really good day for new stories. I read five new stories, and I liked them all.

How did this happen?

How is this even possible?

Who knows.

But I’m liking it.

Today’s stories:

Red Apples by Billymorph

Sometimes Maps are Dumb by HoofBitingActionOverload

Would It Matter If I Was by GaPJaxie

The Last Dreams of Pony Island by Horizon

One Heck of a Case by iisaw

Red Apples

by billymorph



Slice of Life

3,891 words How much can change in a hundred years? How much can change in a thousand? The day of the Nightmare’s defeat Princess Luna finds herself adrift, a thousand years away from the world she knew. With her home in ruins and Equestria changed beyond all recognition, is there anything left for her when even apples are strange.

Why I added it: It won the last Write-off.

Review

Luna has been gone not for a century, but for a thousand years. The world around her is completely alien – the music, even “classical” music, is hundreds of years beyond her time, society is structured completely differently, the nobility is no longer in evidence, and even the apples are strange and new.

Even her own sister is more than half a stranger – Celestia is no longer the warrior-princess she once knew, but far older, wiser, more diplomatic. She simply does not behave as she once did, and is now, effectively, more than ten times older than Luna is.

The world is a strange and bewildering place on even the most basic of levels, and Luna is overwhelmed by the differences.

Many stories play off the idea that Luna might not be familiar with new technology, but few stories present Luna in this light – someone who was gone for a thousand years. Classical music didn’t even exist then – most classical pieces are a couple centuries old at most, while Luna is five times older than that. Even the musical instruments being played in classical music postdate her absence. Everything is strange to her, and she doesn’t know what to make of anything – even many ponies’ cutie marks represent things which simply did not exist in her day.

This is a great examination of what it is like to lose a thousand years, and is very little like the various “Luna struggles with microwaves” stories – this is about Luna struggling with a life, culture, and society which is utterly alien.

The apple was red. I still stared, struggling to understand what I was seeing. The fruit was as red as freshly spilled blood and so grossly oversized I feared it was a cleverly painted rock as a jest. The tart smell convinced me otherwise, but there were none of the little nicks and tears an apple picked up on the way to the market, nor the little bumps and growths of a wild fruit. It looked to all the world like some unicorn's perfect image of an apple, a hologram. It was not something plucked off a tree and sold in a common village market. "Well, Princess," the farm-mare, Applejack I believe her name was, said conversationally. "You going to eat it or just stare at it?" I couldn’t say. Was it a trick, a common jape played by merchants to attempt to sell what amounted to a sign? Was it a carefully husbanded treasure, only on offer to the nobility? I stood paralyzed by indecision, staring at the proffered fruit. Around me I could hear ponies begin to whisper as the awkward pause lengthened. “Mine,” Celestia cut in, her magic snatching the apple from her hoof. She tittered as she took a bite. “I believe they say these days: ‘you snooze, you lose’, sister.” I could have kissed her, but instead allowed myself a small sigh of relief. “Thou art a pest,” I pointed out, earning another chuckle from my sister. The crowd, following in the wake of their princess, joined in and within moments the party was back in full swing, my faux pas forgotten. Applejack chuckled, rubbing the back of her head. “Seriously though, Princess, you want one?” She held up another of those unnatural apples. “Red Delicious straight from the orchard. Sweet Apple Acres’ special and the best in all of Equestria. You can travel all the way from Stalliongrad to Appleloosa and you won’t find an apple like it.” I had never heard of either of those places. “We... Of course,” I said, my voice still sounding alien to my own ears. The apple wobbled into the air, lofted by my shaky magic. It would be many dozen moons until I was back to my former strength. “We thank ye–” I petered out struggling to find the right word to address her. I would have guessed a common peasant by her mannerisms, but, despite her lack of fine cloth, her coat had a luster that suggested she was at least a freeholder. Then again, nopony around me seemed to have bothered with clothes so she could have easily been a yomare or even a itinerant lordling for all I knew. That last one seemed likely, who but the nobility would be brave and foolish enough to chase after a mad alicorn? I decided to err on the side of caution. “–fair Applejack.” “Ah shoot, it ain't nothing.” She gave a curt bow, more appropriate for a burgher, which only further confused our relative rank. “Enjoy yourself now, Princess.” She waved me on my way, and turned to her next customer. For a moment I stared, unused to the sudden dismissal. Tia made no comment though, so I did not press the issue. “Much has changed,” I observed, under my breath, as we stepped away from the... Applejack’s stall. “Much for the better in many cases,” Tia replied, with a faint smile on her lips. I grunted. Around us Ponyville was celebrating, stalls and games had been set up and great tables of food laid out for all to enjoy. Banners proudly proclaimed ‘Happy 1000th Summer Sun Celibra–’ though, every so often, a drunken band would raise a toast to the defeat of Nightmare Moon instead. Those were hastily shushed when they spotted Celestia and myself in the vicinity. The revelry was refreshingly familiar, though little else was. Everywhere I looked there were little things that were wrong, yet nopony seemed to care. Why did none of the pegasi have a single scrap of armour? Where were the nobility and their fine clothes? When had such a riot of coat colours become the norm? There were alien foods laid out next to drinks I didn’t recognise and served by ponies who bore strange, unidentifiable cutie-marks on their flanks.

Recommendation: Highly Recommended.

Sometimes Maps Are Dumb

by HoofBitingActionOverload



Comedy

4,632 words There's another friendship crisis in another far away place, this time the land of the llamas, and Twilight's magical map once again calls on a heroic pony to solve it. But this time the map doesn't call Twilight or any of her friends, this time it calls somepony else entirely. But Trixie's true reasons for accepting the map's call may not be wholly altruistic, and it turns out she's not nearly as over being upstaged by Twilight during their past encounters as she lets on. May the gods have mercy on those poor llamas.

Why I added it: It was in the last Write-off.

Review

A strange but familiar looking cutie mark is glowing over the map, and a strange and all too familiar pony’s butt is glowing. It seems that duty has called the Great and Powerful Trixie to solve a friendship problem that even Twilight Sparkle cannot!

Or so Trixie believes, anyway. Twilight and Applejack just kind of go along with it. I mean, the map has never steered them wrong before, right?

Right?

This is a very silly little story with Trixie going back and forth between llamaland (the Lloronda Jungle – an odd place for llamas, but maybe all the mountains were taken by dragons) and Twilight, lamenting the indignities placed upon her while dreaming of the favor that Princess Twilight Sparkle will bestow on Trixie once she returns.

And it is funny. Every scene ends with a laugh, the story hangs together very well, Twilight, Applejack, and Trixie are all a hoot, and Trixie’s obsession with Twilight and perseverance in the face of llama spit is a wonderful thing to behold. I can even hear the whine in Trixie’s voice every time she returns to Ponyville to complain about her mistreatment.

The crystalline map sparkled and glittered in the throne room of Twilight Sparkle’s sparkling, glittering crystal castle in its usual crystaly, sparkly, glittery sort of way. What was unusual was that an unfamiliar cutie mark symbol had appeared over one of the far corners of the map. Much to Twilight consternation, it didn’t match her or any of her friends’ cutie marks. “And it’s been there since last night?” Applejack asked, examining the errant cutie mark. “Yeah, I haven’t even had a chance to sleep yet.” Twilight took another gulp of coffee and wiped her frizzy, uncombed mane away from her eyes. “The map is only supposed to call us, the former Elements of Harmony. That’s how it’s supposed to work. I think. Or at least I thought. This could big. Huge! Groundbreaking!” Applejack yawned. A few minutes earlier she had been lying in bed at Sweet Apple Acres, just about ready to get up. And then her room had disappeared and she had been dropped onto the cold hard floor of Twilight’s castle and assailed by an over-caffeinated Twilight Sparkle. Applejack would have been annoyed, but it wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last, and Twilight looked kind of cute with her mane all frizzy. “You have any idea what place it’s hangin’ over?” she asked. The cutie mark hovered over a clump of mountains and jungles along the edge of the map. “Of course!” Twilight grabbed one of a dozen atlases off the floor and opened it for Applejack to see. “It appears to be the Lloronda Jungle, home of the llamas.” “What’s a llama?” “A race distantly related to camels,” Twilight said. “I checked my library, but I couldn’t find much information on them or their culture. They’re apparently very reclusive.” “And you don’t know whose cutie mark that is yet?” “I know exactly whose cutie mark it is.” Twilight said, frowning. “Whose cutie mark it is is exactly the problem. You really don’t recognize it?” Applejack looked intently at the hovering cutie mark. It was in the shape of a wand and aurora. Her eyes narrowed and then widened. “Oh no…” Then the doors to the throne room burst open, a cloud of bluish smoke spread through the room, and an outlandishly dressed unicorn waltzed inside. “Trixie’s posterior is glowing,” she cried. “And Trixie doesn’t like it.”

Recommendation: Recommended.

Would It Matter If I Was?

by GaPJaxie



Slice of Life

2,361 words In the wake of the Canterlot Wedding, Fluttershy has to ask Twilight a very difficult question.

Why I added it: GaPJaxie is a good writer.

Review

Fluttershy wants to know if it would matter if she was a changeling, even after all that they’ve been through together – even after all the good things she’s done, all their friendship.

Would it matter?

Twilight isn’t so sure. And the more she thinks about it, the less hypothetical the question seems to be…

This is a story about trust between friends, as well as racism, and doing the right thing even after the changelings attacked Canterlot. Like Kits’ Who We Are, it personalizes the question of how to deal with changelings in society, in this case by having Twilight half-convince herself that Fluttershy is a changeling over the course of the story. It forces Twilight to confront the question of what to do about the changelings on a far more personal level than she had previously, and to actually think about the nature and consequences of her actions.

Would it matter if Fluttershy was a changeling?

Twilight isn’t even sure if she knows the answer by the end, though she thinks she knows what’s right.

Or maybe Fluttershy really is a changeling, and brainwashed Twilight into making the right choice when she met her eyes.

But you know. That’s probably not what happened. I mean, that’d be ridiculous, right?

Twilight took several long breaths. She looked at Fluttershy, and Fluttershy looked at her. Twilight’s hoof scraped on the ground. She swallowed. “I notice you surround yourself with creatures that love you.” Fluttershy hesitated, her ears tilting back as her tail lowered. “I suppose that I do.” “And that you have a nasty side.” Twilight pressed on, her voice slowly raising. “A really nasty side, in fact. Cruel, even. You don’t let it out much. And…” Twilight’s eyes opened wide. “Oh my gosh. The stare! You can control creature’s minds!” “I suppose that I can,” Fluttershy agreed, shying away and turning her head. “Fluttershy…” Twilight took a half step forward. “Are you a changeling?”

Recommendation: Recommended.

The Last Dreams of Pony Island

by Horizon



Sex, Tragedy, Dark, Slice of Life

3,781 words The colony of Myinnkyun had enough problems without Peridot vanishing — trade ships were disappearing, and the island's native minotaurs had launched an attack on the city walls. But now there's talk that she was murdered, and the city is about to tear itself apart before its enemies have the chance.

Why I added it: It was in the last Write-off.

Review

This is a weird story.

Most of it is basically free verse poetry, but some of it is actual prose. Really, though, you don’t need to be a connoisseur of poetry to appreciate this – the form of the poetry didn’t matter so much as the mystique it lent the piece, as well as its laconic brevity.

This piece is a mystery. As Horizon says:

One part Spoon River Anthology and one part Rashomon, this story invites you to piece together the story of Myinnkyun's last days — and Peridot's final night — from the dreams of its inhabitants. "Dreams cannot lie," the Nightmares say, but everybody has a different understanding of the truth...

Each of the story’s 16 chapters is told from a different point of view. A pony named Peridot has been murdered on the colony of Myinnkyun, and the ponies in town are paranoid. The ships aren’t coming in, there’s no word from the mainland, the day/night cycle was weird (cluing us into the fact that this in fact took place when Luna was banished the first time)…

The story is full of racism, distrust, and misunderstandings. Many of the characters are lying to the other characters, and no one has the whole picture of what is going on.

It is a fun thing to unravel, and there is actually a contest to write a “final” chapter to the story explaining what is really going on, with an actual cash prize being offered.

So if you like mysteries and don’t mind free-verse poetry, this might be up your alley.

Recommendation: Recommended if you like open-ended mysteries, but if you don’t like stories that are very difficult to figure out and don’t tell you the answer, know that the story will probably frustrate you until the contest is over and all becomes clear.

One Heck of a Case

by iisaw



Comedy

2,380 words Twilight settles an unusual court case.

Why I added it: It was featured.

Review

Twilight has to settle the court case of Lyra v Hades.

Yes, as in the lord of the underworld.

Turns out that Lyra feels that the terms of a verbal contract have been violated.

She wants her Bon Bon back.

"Lyra, if this is a joke, I'll..." "It's not, and I don't care what you threaten me with! If I went all the way to Tartarus to get her back, do you think I'll..." "Whoa there! Back up. Tartarus? You actually went to Tartarus?" "Well, yeah. Not through the lower gates, but..." Twilight had a hard time believing it. "Cave in the Badlands?" "Yep." "Purifying spell to get by the Vapors?" "Oxygen mask." "River Styx?" "Inflatable life raft." "Guardian of the..." "Doggy treats. Y'know the crunchy kind with the soft center? He loves 'em."

For those of you familiar with Greek mythology, Lyra is playing the role of Orpheus here, and I can only think that the ancient Greek gods must have been glad that they didn’t have civil courts back then, or that Orpheus didn’t hire legal representation.

Then again, Hades probably already had all the lawyers.

And yes, I know that in Greek mythology, the underworld didn’t actually work like that. Shh.

Recommendation: Worth reading if you like jokes about Greek mythology.

Summary

Red Apples by Billymorph

Highly Recommended Sometimes Maps are Dumb by HoofBitingActionOverload

Recommended Would It Matter If I Was by GaPJaxie

Recommended The Last Dreams of Pony Island by Horizon

Recommended One Heck of a Case by iisaw

Worth Reading

This is a truly beautiful day. Even if at the time I am writing this extro, it is actually 2:14 in the morning.

And to think, just last week Horizon was asking me if ponyfic was just really weak lately.

Clearly, the problem was just that the writeoff folks weren’t releasing their stories.

Chop, chop, people!

*shuffles his own unpublished writeoff stories under the rug*