"I'm making a music video. 'Peeno Noir: An Ode to Black Penis.'" So begins one of the most purely joyful viral music hits of last year, a song written for Tituss Burgess' character on Tina Fey's Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. At first glance, an ode to male anatomy might not seem like everybody's thing, but actually it was. It was everybody's thing.

The success of this song is the logical result of the rise of Weird Twitter and drunk binge-watching, the internet's band of red wine devotees, presided over by Ms. Olivia Pope, and the newfound cool factor of musical theater. Also I am pretty sure it was the inspiration for the rhyme scheme of "I Love Kanye."

"Peeno Noir" superfans took to sending Burgess bottles of wine to show their appreciation for his musical gifts, and now here we are. There is a real Pinot Noir that you can really buy that is called "Pinot by Tituss." It is $24.99 per bottle or $299.88 per case, and ships to 34 states, including New York, which is where the real Tituss lives and works on Broadway and on the television program Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Also, it's where I live.

It truly is bizarre that Kerry Washington doesn't have her own wine yet.