At the beginning of May, Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio unveiled Steel Vengeance, a Rocky Mountain Construction reimagining of the park’s 1991 wooden coaster Mean Streak. After closing Mean Streak, RMC and the park went about reconstruction in full view for well over a year, all without saying anything about what they were doing. Park maps in 2017 showed nothing but a construction site, even though anyone passing could clearly see steel track and bracings being added to the husk of that Dinn Coasters abomination. Cedar Point managed to get a pretty good buzz going in the enthusiast community by doing nothing at all, and that alone counts as a win for the park.

Goddamned Mean Streak. I’ve had quite a history with Mean Streak, despite living a few states away. My first trip to Cedar Point in 2010 was sublime, two nights at Hotel Breakers with a Friday evening entry, and the park more than lived up to its lofty reputation. Maverick quickly became my number one coaster, a ranking that has yet to be challenged in the following years. Contrary to many, with the exception of the first drop and the speed, I found Millennium Force to be underwhelming, good but not great. And I don’t care where you sit, I still think Magnum kinda sucks.

Late in the second day, we had hit everything we wanted in the park, except for Corkscrew and Mean Streak. Corkscrew had been down intermittently throughout our trip, and was so again as we approached, so we decided to head toward Mean Streak, where I would ride, and Carter would do “anything but”. She had sworn off wooden coasters several years ago, after we both endured a ride on Son of Beast at Kings Island, a decision that I had little to no argument against. She headed for a shop, and I entered the superstructure for my second to last credit of the weekend.

I have no problem with an aggressive wooden coaster, far from it. I’ve been riding the American Eagle at SFGAm since I was a child, feeling it seemingly deteriorate below me. I survived the nightmare that was known as Psyclone at Six Flags Magic Mountain and have walked out of Mt. Olympus with my spine intact. But nothing could have prepared me for what I felt on Mean Streak. Starting after bottoming out on the first drop, and for the rest of the ride, it seemed that there was some sort of miniature prizefighter inside my abdomen, and he wanted out. Like, right now. I’ve done some pretty stupid shit in a wrestling ring in my day, but this was pain like I had never felt before. The jackhammering from the track, the trains, the whatever, was unreal; this was the most violent coaster I had ever experienced.

Self-preservation took over. I leaned forward as far as I could and pulled my feet off the floor, trying to minimize my physical contact with the train. It helped a little; I was able to take a few moments to shift around on the mid-course brake run, before completing the equally brutal second half. Mean Streak finished having its way with me with an extra-hard jolt of brakes as we rolled toward the station, leaving me to gingerly climb out of the train. Something was wrong with this coaster. The pain had mostly subsided by the time I met back up with Carter, but I was still pretty uncomfortable, and upon seeing my face, all she had for me was a smirk. “Yeah,” she said, taking a picture of me grimacing back at the structure, “now you understand how I feel.” She wasn’t wrong.

It was getting late, and I really didn’t want to follow up that experience with a shuddering ride on a 34-year-old Arrow looper, so we decided on one more ride on Maverick before heading back to Breakers for steaks and a few stiff drinks. On Maverick, Mean Streak was quickly forgotten, and as we pulled into the brake run, I felt perfect, content. We were on the run for a while, and we took a few pictures of each other with the twisted mass of red track and grey skies over Lake Erie behind us. A perfect end to a perfect trip.

About an hour later, over those drinks and steaks, we flipped through the pictures taken on our phones. The Maverick ones turned out great, there were a few of us each mugging, one adorable one of her peeking out from behind the harness, and the final one of me, head leaned forward, eyes tired, but with that look of perfect content that I had felt at that moment. And for some reason, at the sight of it, my insides dropped.

She saw it. “What? What’s wrong?” she said, looking at the screen. “You look happy.”

I did look happy. So why did the look on my face make me feel such sudden dread? “I do. Very happy, perfectly happy.” I said, and to this day I still don’t know why I said what I did next. “That’s the picture that gets blown up and put on an easel at my funeral.”

Carter was quiet and still for a long moment, before shaking her head and taking a slug of her wine. “Nice, T. Real nice thought.”

I didn’t forget about Mean Streak, the pain, or the picture after we got home. I had been battling with an increasingly nasty bout of acid reflux for a few years at that point, but I had always chalked that up to an unfortunate side-effect of my somewhat hedonistic lifestyle. Carter had been telling me for the longest time that I needed to go in for a full bloodwork panel and a physical, and she was right, I had been procrastinating on that pretty badly. Now, the thought of the pain I had felt just wouldn’t leave me, and I made the appointment. Several vials were taken from me one Wednesday afternoon, with the results probably going to take about two days. My physician told me she’d call me early the next week, where we could discuss the results.

That call came that Friday afternoon, as I was literally halfway out my office door at work. “Listen to me very carefully,” she said, usually not a good thing to hear from a medical professional, “you need to go to the emergency room, and I mean right now. You are going to need a blood transfusion. You may need several blood transfusions.”

I had planned on an evening of a bong, some Cheddar Bay Biscuits, and a Blu-ray. This news kinda put a crimp in those plans. “Can…I go home and shower first?” I asked stupidly.

“With your readings, I don’t know how you’re even standing.”

Turns out it was colon cancer. Oof.

**

I did ride Mean Streak again, at the first-ever Coasterradio.com meetup in 2015, and only after being convinced by Matt from Yorkshire that a recent retracking had made a big difference. He was absolutely right; the ride still wasn’t dolphin smooth, but it definitely lacked the violent jackhammering that had dominated my last lap.

And seeing as how it almost brought about my own, I attended Mean Streak’s funeral in September of 2016. (Yes, you read that right. An amusement park had a funeral for a ride. Welcome to my world.) Jaye and I enjoyed a tongue in cheek eulogy from the park’s Director of Communications Tony Clark (done up in full Halloweekends makeup as “Dead Tony”) and followed the funeral procession to see the ride’s entrance sign ceremoniously dumped into a shallow grave. I love Cedar Point.

Now, everyone knew that something huge was coming to the Point, and I’m among everyone, so it stood to reason that the park would probably do something early or special for season passholders. I sprung for a Cedar Fair platinum pass for 2018 in those hopes, and that was rewarded by a passholder preview, a free but ticketed event for three nights before the official opening weekend. Everyone signing up for the event online would receive one ticket for a ride on Steel Vengeance, marked in hour and a half windows. In addition, the park was going to open most of Frontiertown, which included Maverick, Cedar Creek Mine Ride, a few flats, and the park’s railroad. And as an added bonus, they promised free “samples” of new food offerings for the area, and a free anything is an amazing bonus in the amusement park world.

The event ran from 4pm to 10pm, and I took a leisurely drive from Chicago, arriving at the park’s main gate about 45 minutes before opening. I also realized that I had stayed on property every time I had been here, so this was my first time using the main gate for actual admission, which was kinda strange. Cedar Point had at least a dozen employees walking up and down the growing lines, assisting guests and asking if anyone had any questions, and at 4pm, the gates opened, and the hordes headed for the back of the park.

My time was 4:30-6:00, and nearly everyone around me was headed straight for Steel Vengeance, so I decided to let that first mass cycle through, and warm up on Maverick, the park’s Intamin Blitz coaster instead. It only took me one re-ride to once again confirm that I think Maverick is the best fucking thing going, not only at the Point, but out of everything I’ve ever ridden. I managed to get in a few more laps until the line in the station started to grow and more people entered the park. I felt I needed to remember why I loved Maverick so much, because in a very short amount of time, I was going to face a new possible contender for that number one spot.

As most of my trip reports are park-based, it’s rare for me to do an element by element analysis of a single coaster. But I hope you like that kind of shit, because that’s exactly what I’m doing here. Those not wanting to read about the ride in such detail should either skip ahead, or (preferably) just keep reading anyway.

The queue line winds under and inside the massive wooden structure, with some varying angles of the ride’s maroon colored track as it dips into view. Every few minutes, a train full of screaming riders would dip into view, only to vanish just as quickly. The last part up towards the station is right next to the approach and lift hill, and I’m not exaggerating when I say this might well be the loudest lift hill I’ve ever heard. Seriously, at the right time, you’d be able to hear this thing from halfway across the park. The new station is the old station; it’s pretty non-descript, almost unchanged from before. The only real difference is seeing three brand new RMC trains (named, I shit thee not, Blackjack, Chess, and Digger) on the track instead of those nasty little Mean Streak coffins. Seats were being assigned, which didn’t bother me in the slightest, but I ended up with back row anyway. Like most before it, the train rolled out of the station to cheers. It was time to see what this thing had.

Pre-lift and Lift Hill

The track passes through the transfer shed before taking a right turn, getting a nice sweeping view of Lake Erie as you parallel the thin ribbon of the causeway. There’s a few small airtime humps as the train runs up toward the lift hill. They’re fun little drifts of air, a little levity before you start cranking up that hill.

And it’s a hill indeed. Mean Streak topped out at 161 feet, but Steel Vengeance said fuck that, increased the height to 205 feet, and cranked up the angle of ascent. And it is steep. And loud, good gawd, so much louder than I thought it would be actually riding it. It passed quick though, as it tends to do when you really have no idea of the forces and sensations that you’re about to experience after it crests.

The Drop

200 feet down, at a max 90-degree angle. Without hyperbole, the train is straight down for a portion of the drop. (Imagine a coaster train going down a vertical aluminum extension ladder, and you’ve pretty much got it.) The drop is an intimidating feature from the ground, and it’s pretty damned intimidating on a train. It reminds me most in feel of a slightly larger version of the drop on SFGAm’s Goliath, both in angle and ability to take you right out of your seat. I know I couldn’t fully appreciate it the first time, but it definitely delivers.

Airtime Hill and What-The-Fuck-Was-That Hill

After hitting the bottom of the drop, and maximum speed of 74mph, the train runs over another small hump that gives a nice little pop of ejector air before heading up toward the first big hill. It’s shaped kinda oddly: a slightly banked rise gives some nice lateral forces, before it straightens out at the top to give some swooping (and immediate) floater air, and then banks again on the way down.

The track rises into another hill, but this time, it’s hard outbanked to the left the whole time. This isn’t just basic lateral forces; rising to the top of the hill, the ride seems to want to eject you from the train to the side. And the angle of the track doesn’t stop once you crest the hill and begin the drop, creating a sensation where it feels like you’re simultaneously being thrown to your side and having the bottom drop out. The POV videos do this no justice whatsoever, it’s simply an incredible sensation.

Inversion 1 and Inversion Zero

The first inversion is taken at an upward angle as the track rises, and it’s a smooth, wide-open zero-g roll. It almost felt like going up Storm Chaser’s first drop, and the train doesn’t seem to lose much speed going through it. Exiting the inversion, the track continues to twist, seeming as if it’s heading into another roll before leveling out.

A banked turn leads into an element called a flying snake dive, which felt to me like being an inversion without actually being an inversion. The track heads back down toward the ground into this dive, almost turning you upside down before snapping you back in a very short amount of space. There’s another little pop of air before a double up turns you into the mid-course brake run.

Mid-Course Brake Run and Right Back At It

I don’t know if it’s because they’re still seeing how well it runs, or it’s a just-there-if-we-need-it case, but on my ride, the MCBR didn’t bite at all. And frankly, as a basic straight section of track, it’s the only chance you really get to catch your breath on this thing anyway. The train turns to the left (still cooking on speed, mind you) and falls into what may be the best post-MCBR drop of anything I’ve been on. There’s another small airtime hill before the track rises to another outbanked hill, this one with the added horror of multiple headchoppers as the train dives into the mass of the structure. The visual of all that wood (phrasing) literally surrounding you makes things feel faster than they are, and the following wave turn and inversion are in the thick of it. This second inversion is much faster and snappier than the first one, and I’ll admit that it came as a surprise to me.

In-N-Out

The track exits the structure into open air again and through two more strong airtime hills before entering the structure again, this time for another high banked turn to the left. The third inversion takes you to the right, however, and seems longer and broader than the rest, with some extremely good floater air throughout. Another high banked turn inside the structure leads into open air again, and a run of small bunny hills that give relentless ejector air that never seems like its going to end. Even the last rise into the final brake run gives a wonderfully giddy pop before slowing down. Steel Vengeance has had its way with you. Now go pick up a FastLane Plus, you’re gonna need it this summer.

**

So, what do I think? Yeah, Steel Vengeance lives up to the hype. It’s fast, long, packed with airtime, and has a second half that is arguably as good as the first. It’s easily the best of the RMC creations, and is going to command massive lines and be extremely popular with enthusiasts and the general public alike. It truly is a phenomenal coaster.

But is it the best thing I’ve ever ridden? No, that’s still Maverick. But I’ll be damned if Steel Vengeance isn’t right behind it. And now a world exists where my two favorite coasters are literally hundreds of feet away from each other, and I have absolute zero reason to complain.

Well, shit. It was only a little past six, I still had almost four hours to go. Maverick went down shortly after my Steel Vengeance ride, so I took a few laps on the Cedar Creek Mine Ride (because goddamn, I love a mine train) before deciding to try some of the new Frontiertown food. The back of my ride ticket had a list of open eateries and the choices of the samples that were offered in each, things like burger sliders, loaded fries, brisket (!), and free Coke products to boot.

It should be obvious from my written views on the amusement and theme park industry that the last thing I want to do is come off looking like a corporate shill, but holy shit, did Cedar Point have their shit together with this food thing. These portions were big, more than enough to get a feel for how a full order would be, and everything I tried was well above average. Seriously, good quality chicken fingers and brisket at an amusement park? Hell yes, sign me up. And they took this seriously, still serving up fresh food and handing out cups for the Coke Freestyle machines up until the moment the event ended. See, it’s things like this that make me a Cedar Fair platinum passholder, even though their closest park is almost five hours away from my home. Most other companies would run out early, not give a shit, and be done with it for the night. (Except Six Flags, who would take forever to serve, run out early, and charge you for the whole experience.)

As this was just bonus time for me, I took a few more laps on the Cedar Creek Mine Ride and checked out the Cedar Point Museum. This park has been open since 1870, and is beyond sick rich in history, which they fully embrace. It’s seriously something you can lose some significant time to.

New this year is a model of an under-construction Steel Vengeance, to be slowly completed as the season goes on. Pictures don’t really do this proper justice, as it is not only detailed AF, but so much bigger than you’d imagine. Super props to the little RMC truck parked next to it.

It was now nearly 8:30, and although Maverick hadn’t reopened, it had sporadically tested, leading to the formation of a small line, maybe ten people. Having eaten too much (and probably having ridden the mine train too much), I made it eleven, leaning against the fence, texting a few friends with a mocking and contemptuous tone, because I had ridden Steel Vengeance today and they hadn’t. By the time 9pm rolled around, the line had grown to at least a hundred, and the cheers were heard moving down as Maverick reopened. It’s just such a ridiculously good coaster, especially in the back row. It’s got everything I like in a ride…a fucked-up lift hill, a gut-wrenching first drop, speed, air, inversions, and a powerful launch that at night, is taken in damn near pitch blackness. Steel Vengeance is absolutely incredible, but Maverick…Maverick is my jam.

And as a final bonus, I finally got to meet Tony Clark, who seemed all the world like a proud father (if that child was a monstrous hypercoaster), even if he did do a slight double take at my Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors shirt. (Hey, a staff writer’s gotta represent.) Tony is a fantastic representative for the park, a great follow on Twitter, and one helluva nice guy, proven by the fact that he patiently listened to me boast about how I can ride the Lobster at SFGAm any time I want to.