The NFL has made a bold statement: no fanny packs allowed.

Last month a story made the rounds about how the NFL was banning large bags such as backpacks and purses from their stadiums. We all moaned, but chalked it up to an increased need for safety in the 21st century, even if some of the items prohibited, like seat cushions, seemed a bit over the top.

Who doesn’t want a warm and comfy seat at the game?

In reviewing a story about how the Indianapolis Colts are shipping season ticket holders bags that are pre-approved for stadium entry, however, something caught our eye. And that was included in the NFL’s list of banned items, along with backpacks and purses and seat cushions, was something we could scarcely believe: the fanny pack.

The NFL has declared a war on fanny packs.

Some questions: Were fanny packs something a ton of people were wearing at NFL games? Were they something so problematic they needed to be explicitly mentioned in the NFL policy? What’s your problem with our fanny packs, NFL?

We will tolerate a lot in this new world we live in, but this, right now, no. We will stand up and speak out for all the middle-aged dads, the ironic 20-somethings, and the just-don’t-care tourists out there who rely on the fanny pack to both provide a place to store things and also as an accessory to make a strong fashion statement. This is a bridge too far, NFL. A bridge too far.

(Thanks to IndyStar for the original story.)