I like my MacBook pro, it types, it surfs the net, runs my radio show, downloads pictures, music and movies, it even helps me speak to people far away–I like my laptop, but I do not love my laptop. In fact (and this might sound horrible), given the choice between my Mac or my wife any of my kids or even my dog, I am sorry to say, but all eight gigabytes of random access memory would be out on the street.

Apparently not everyone feels the same way I do, and to be fair and balanced it’s time to present the other side (even if it is freaking crazy). My friend Joe Newby wrote about this nut job who wants to marry his laptop. In his case it’s not out of love but to make a point, a dumb one. And even worse to make his point he had to harass Kim Davis.

By Joe Newby

You remember Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who went to jail rather than issue marriage licenses to gay couples, right? She’s back in the news, this time because she reportedly refused to issue a marriage license to a man who wanted to marry his laptop computer, the Daily Caller reported Tuesday.

The plaintiff, Mark “Chris” Sevier, has also sued Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin and Attorney General Andy Beshear, the Daily Caller said, citing Liberty Counsel.

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The Daily Caller adds:

Sevier, a graduate of Vanderbilt Law School, says he is trying to prove that marriage between a same-sex couple has the same legitimacy as a human marrying an inanimate object. Sevier’s license to practice law was suspended in 2011. [Jeff note somehow I am not surprised]

It’s not the first time he’s tried this. According to the Houston Press:

It would be all too easy to think that the man fighting to marry his Mac laptop in Harris County is some type of lonely, introverted tech nerd who accidentally fell in love with an intelligent machine. On the surface, it kind of sounds like he just walked out of the futuristic, Oscar-winning film Her and is trying to launch a civil rights movement for computers or something. Perhaps for Siri. Unfortunately, though, that’s not what’s happening here. Chris Sevier has filed a lawsuit against the Harris County district clerk, Governor Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton for denying him the right to marry his Mac because he is trying to make a pretty cruel argument. He is trying to prove that, essentially, marriage between the members of a same-sex couple can be equated to marriage between a man and a machine. He is trying to prove that, under Obergefell v. Hodges, the landmark U.S. Supreme Court case that legalized same-sex marriage, people are now allowed to do morally disgusting things like marry whomever they are attracted to, whether that be inanimate objects or members of the same gender. Essentially, he is trying to give courts an ultimatum: Agree that this is what they have done and allow him to make vows to a piece of expensive chrome, or realize that this is morally wrong and undo Obergefell.

So, the Press said, he really doesn’t want to marry his laptop, he just wants to destroy marriages across the country. At the time, he also promised to do this in other states…

He also tried it in Florida, but a judge tossed the lawsuit out, USA Today said.

“This lawsuit is frivolous,” said Liberty Counsel founder and chairman Mat Staver. “There is obviously no right for a man to marry a machine. When you make gender irrelevant to a gender-based relationship you open Pandora’s box and make a mockery out of marriage.”

Here’s the truth Mark “Chris” Sevier is nothing but a user. He professes his love to the computer, but he is only using her. He doesn’t care about her processing speed, her screen size, or even the fact that she has a CD drive that just won’t stop. Seiver even talked his computer into showing off her 512K Flash storage, all for naught.What a cad (and an idiot). To be honest they should let the SOB marry his computer and make sure everyone knows he is already married. Let him see what happens to his social life.

Most of this post was originally seen at Conservative Firing Line