If you've ever wanted to see an entire state act like jealous toddler throwing someone else's toys, Ohio's got you covered. LeBron James, who spent years bringing money and excitement to Cleveland, and still does extensive charity work in Akron, didn't win at basketball. As a result, Ohio Governor John Kasich issued a proclamation today making the Mavericks honorary Ohioans, because those who stopped LeBron from winning are the real heroes.


You'll notice that this proclamation doesn't actually mention LeBron James. It does contain this:

"Whereas, NBA Finals Most Valuable Player Dirk Nowitzki chose to re-sign with the Dallas Mavericks in the summer of 2010, forgoing free agency and keeping his talents in Dallas, thus remaining loyal to the team, city and fans for whom he played his entire career."


The proclamation is not legally binding, and the Mavericks will not be given official residency. But if Dirk wants to spontaneously impregnate much of the state, like he did for South Florida last night, I'm sure that would be welcome.