“You can do this.”

“No, I can’t.” Harper shook her head.

“When are you finally gonna grow a pair, deaf girl?” Katie rolled her eyes for a moment. But when she spoke again, her tone was much softer. “Just breathe, okay? I’m sure everything’s gonna be fine.”

She sighed softly. “Easy for you to say.” Harper muttered, staring at the door beside her. Her heart raced anxiously knowing Erik was on the other side.

Katie eyed her expectantly. “Well, obviously whatever he wants to talk about has to be important, right? So you should probably just listen to whatever it is and get it over with.” She paused for a moment, but Harper was too lost in thought to reply. “Jeez, deaf girl!” Katie’s cry almost made her jump. “Don’t leave the poor guy waiting!”

“Okay, okay.” Harper shot her a look.

Part of her wished Ivy were there with her instead. Surely she’d be more understanding than Katie was. But Harper had not told Ivy about Erik’s impending visit. Not even the phone call she’d received from him four days ago. But why? Ivy was usually so easy to talk to…

But not about Erik. She realized. And she knew exactly the reason why.

Harper took a deep breath. Shit. Katie’s right. I can’t keep putting this off. She gave her friend one last look before finally opening the door.

Erik was sitting at one of the tables in the corner when she entered, staring down at his phone and smiling softly to himself at something on the screen. He hadn’t even heard her come in, it seemed.

Fuck. He looks so amazing. She thought. Even more amazing than he’d looked at Jocelyne’s funeral all those months ago. In fact, Harper hadn’t seen him look this good since…

Without the drugs wearing him down, Harper realized how little the past few years had changed him. But then, beneath all her tattoos and piercings, she probably hadn’t changed much either… Not on the outside, anyway.

But on the inside, Harper knew they were two completely different people than they once were.

She cleared her throat softly. “Um… hi.” Harper muttered.

At last, Erik looked up. His smile only faltered slightly at the sight of her. “Hey, Harper.”

He rose to his feet, eyeing her uncertainly before finally pulling her in for a brief hug. But, to Harper’s surprise, Erik’s embrace was neither warm nor comforting. It was so distant and uncomfortable. Like hugging a stranger.

“Thanks for letting me come here.” Erik said seriously as he released her. “I know that phone call was…”

“Unexpected?” Harper finished for him, unable to contain a slight smile. “Um, yeah. That’s putting it mildly.”

He laughed softly. “Yeah, sorry… I guess I didn’t really know how else to do it.” Erik gave a small shrug as he sat back down.

“It’s okay.” Harper assured him, taking the seat across from him. Neither of them spoke for a few moments. Why the hell does this have to be so friggin’ AWKWARD?! “Um… you look amazing, by the way.” She broke the silence at last, her cheeks slightly warm.

“Heh. Thanks.” He smiled somewhat uncomfortably. “Uh… You too.”

Harper glanced down at her hideous beige jumpsuit for a moment.”Did you seriously just say that with a straight face?”

It felt nice to laugh with Erik again. It brought to mind so many happier times… Times Harper knew they could never go back to. Her heart sank as her laughter finally died away.

“Harper, look.” He took a deep breath, his face suddenly serious. “I know this is way overdue, but I wanna start out by telling you how sorry I am. Like, for everything I put you through back when we were together… I feel like shit for what I did to you. Those drugs fucked me up so bad, and I kept finding every excuse in the book not to give them up…” Erik shook his head. “And look where it got you.”

Harper’s eyes widened slightly at his words. An apology? Somehow, that hadn’t been what she was expecting. How long had she been dreaming of this? The chance to finally talk with Erik face to face about all their problems…

But he was right, wasn’t he? It was certainly long overdue. Why had he waited over a year to finally apologize? For a moment, she felt a slight burst of anger rising up in her chest at the thought.

But it’s not like I was rushing to give him an apology either, huh? A small voice in the back of her head seemed to say, quelling some of her anger. For months, she’d been trying so hard to work up the courage to tell Erik she was sorry. How could she judge him for waiting when she’d done the same?

“Thanks, I guess.” She replied softly, breaking the silence. “Maybe overdue, but good to hear anyway.” Harper tried to smile. “And we both know I didn’t do you any favors back then either. All I did was make things worse for you. And I wish I didn’t. So… I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry too.”

Wow. Smooth. Ugh! Harper kicked herself mentally. Still, it was better than nothing, wasn’t it?

Erik smiled slightly. Apparently it was good enough for him. “Thanks.”

They fell into another uncomfortable silence.

“So… was that what you wanted to talk to me about?” Harper asked at last.

The smile slowly faded from Erik’s face at her words. “Um, well, there was something else…”

He looked around the room for a moment, and Harper’s eyes followed his. One of the guards stood by the door as usual, and Elly was talking quietly with her husband at a nearby table.

“Is there anywhere more private we can talk?” Erik asked softly.

“Ha! You’re joking, right?” Harper shook her head, chuckling to herself despite her nerves. “This is a prison, Erik. There’s no such thing as privacy around here.”

“Okay, yeah, that was probably a dumb question.” He admitted, smiling slightly.

Harper thought for a moment. “I’m allowed to take you outside though?” She offered. “Probably the closest thing to ‘private’ we can get.”

“Sure. That sounds good.” Erik rose to his feet slowly as he spoke.

Across from him, Harper did the same, and began heading for the door. She heard the sound of Erik’s footsteps behind her as he followed her out into the hall.

Harper had half-expected to find Katie standing with her ear pressed to the door or something, trying to eavesdrop. But she was nowhere in sight. And, thankfully, neither was Ivy. Not that it mattered much anyway, did it? It wasn’t like she could keep Erik’s visit a secret forever. But then, was there really any point to keeping it a secret anyway?

She quickly shook the distracting thoughts from her mind. Jesus, Harper. Get a grip!

As she’d hoped, they found the garden area almost completely deserted. A guard lingered by the door, and one of the other inmates was busy tending to some of the plants. But Harper knew their conversation would not carry nearly as well out here as it would have in the visitors’ room. She led Erik to the small wooden bench by the bird feeder.

“This is really nice.” Erik took a moment to appreciate the scenery as he took at seat.

Harper’s legs felt like jelly as she lowered herself beside him. “Yeah, if you ignore the huge chain link fence, sure.” She tried to joke.

Erik ignored it. He was silent for a few moments before speaking again. “So, um… Your parents didn’t say anything to you, did they?” He asked softly. “About why I wanted to talk to you?”

Harper shook her head.

He appeared visibly relieved at her response. “Good… I told them it was something I really wanted to talk to you about myself.”

Harper felt her patience wearing thin. “Look, can you just say whatever it is you’re here to say?” She asked somewhat harshly. “I’m getting kinda sick of the buildup.”

Erik took a deep breath, then muttered something much too quiet for Harper to hear. She was fairly certain she wouldn’t have been able to make out what he said, even if she’d possessed her full hearing.

“What?” She asked.

He took another breath. “I’m getting married.” He repeated.

It felt as though all the air had been knocked from her lungs. “W-what?” Harper asked again. But this time, it was for a very different reason. “What the hell? B-but… I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone…” She spluttered, half to herself. “And now you’re getting married?!”

Erik bit his lip nervously. “Well… I haven’t officially asked her yet.” He admitted. “But we’ve talked about it. Looked at some rings and stuff…” His voice trailed off for a moment. “We’ll probably take things slower from here. Do that whole ‘long engagement’ thing… but we’ve decided we’re ready for that commitment. I just knew I needed to talk to you first.”

Harper struggled to find her voice. She wasn’t quite sure what she’d been expecting him to tell her… But it definitely wasn’t this. She knew it was foolish to feel so upset — so jealous. Things had been over between them for a long time. But learning he’d finally moved on just… hurt.

Erik had meant so much to her. In many ways, maybe he still did. Maybe he always would. He was the father of her child. Her first boyfriend. The first person she’d ever had sex with. The first person she’d ever loved.

No, not first. Harper realized. ONLY.

She’d given so much of herself to him. Her body. Her heart. Her soul. And though she’d known she was not his first for many of those things, she’d once dreamt of being his last.

But now…

“Who is she?” Harper demanded, finally breaking the silence. The sadness that had filled her heart only seconds before was suddenly replaced by a hot, bubbling anger. “What’s her name?”

“Rubi.” He replied softly. Harper hated the way he said her name. Had he ever spoken her name with such tenderness, she wondered? It was impossible to recall.

Harper shook her head slowly. “Well… That’s great for you, I guess.” She said bitterly. “But I don’t understand why the hell you’re telling me this.” What was he doing? Trying to rub his happiness in her face?

He looked almost surprised. “I figured you had a right to know… I know it’s probably shitty for me to just show up and drop this on you, but I guess I kinda wanted like… Your ‘blessing’ or something?” Erik shrugged uncertainly. “I mean, when we do get married, she’s gonna be Phoenix’s stepmother. She’ll be a huge part of his life.”

Oh shit. How the hell hadn’t she thought of it before now? By coming into Erik’s life, this bitch would be coming into her son’s too. Like Erik said, she’d be his stepmother. The word sent an unpleasant shiver down Harper’s spine.

When she said nothing, Erik continued. “She hasn’t even met him yet.” He assured her. “She’s been wanting to, but I knew I had to talk to you first… And obviously I’ll make sure they meet before I propose or anything.” He added quickly. “Phoenix is my top priority, and I’m gonna make sure this is what’s best for him.” Erik promised seriously. “And I really think it will be.”

At last, Harper managed to find her voice. “Well what am I supposed to say, huh? It’s not like I can stop you, can I?” She spat. “I just can’t believe my parents never said anything to me about this… How long have they known?”

“Just a couple weeks. Rubi and I have been keeping things pretty low-key… But I’ve been talking to your parents about having some overnights with Phoenix. And if he spends the night at the apartment, well, he’s gonna meet Rubi sooner or later anyway.” Erik explained. “Even if I wasn’t gonna propose, I had to tell them about her. But I made them promise not to tell you. I wanted to be the one to do it.”

“Wow, how thoughtful of you.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm.

The pain was apparent on Erik’s face. “Come on, Harper… There really wasn’t any easy way to do this. I knew it was gonna be hard. And I’m probably doing this all wrong… But I’m trying here.”

She ignored him. “So care to tell me a little more about this random woman you’re just gonna let walk into my son’s life? What’s she like? Does she have a job? How long have you known her?” Harper demanded.

Erik sighed. “Well, like I said, her name’s Rubi. She’s a couple years older than me. She’s very sweet, and funny. She loves being outside. Really into nature and stuff…” He looked almost embarrassed to talk about her in front of Harper. “And she has two jobs, actually. She helps take care of the plants at a nursery, and on the weekends she works as a barista downtown.”

Harper rolled her eyes. This girl sounded awful. Like the type of air-headed, artsy hipster Devin would date up at art school. Somehow, that thought made her even more irritated. “Wow, she sounds like a real catch.” She muttered under hear breath.

It was Erik’s turn to ignore her. “I’ve known her for like… eight months, I think? That’s when we first met, I mean. But we were just friends at first. We’ve only been dating for about five.”

“And you’re already gonna ask her to marry you?” Harper’s eyes widened. “Jesus, did you knock her up too?”

Erik’s calm mask vanished instantly at her words. “Will you stop?! I know this is hard, okay? It’s hard for me too. But you don’t have to be such a –” He stopped himself short.

“Bitch?” Harper finished for him. She was so angry, it was like she was literally seeing red. Her neck and cheeks were growing warmer by the second. “You’re right, I don’t have to. But you’re making it pretty damn hard not to be!” Harper felt her anger continuing to rise. “First you go from wanting to throw away our son like he’s a piece of trash to trying to be Father of the Year… And now you’re trying to replace his Mama with some random woman you barely even know?!”

“Oh come on, Harper! You know that’s not true! She’s not some ‘random woman’! And I’m not trying to –”

“How the hell did you meet her anyway?” Harper interrupted him. “Don’t tell me you picked her up at a bar or something…”

The way Erik hesitated made her heart sink. Oh shit. She knew it couldn’t be good.

“We were in a therapy group together.” He confessed at last. “Only for a few weeks though. She’s not in the group anymore… She moved on. But we were able to meet each other before she did, obviously.” Erik rambled slightly, clearly nervous.

“You met in a therapy group? Like rehab?!”

“Well, a post-rehab group.” Erik clarified softly.

“Great! Because one druggie in my son’s life wasn’t enough, right?” Harper cried. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!”

Erik was suddenly on his feet. “What the hell do you want from me, Harper? I don’t know what else I can say…” He rubbed one of his hands down his face in frustration before continuing. “I’m just trying to be fair to you. I thought you deserved to know about Rubi.”

“Yeah, sounds like you’ve picked a real winner. What a wonderful influence she’ll be on our son.”

His eyes narrowed. “Yeah, because his Mama’s so great, right?” He spat. “Say what you want about Rubi… But she’s not the one behind bars.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Harper’s voice was practically a snarl. “Look, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna give you my ‘blessing’ or whatever it is you want. But it’s not like I can stop you either. So I have no friggin’ clue why the hell you even bothered coming here.”

“Because unlike you, I’m actually trying to be a decent person!” Erik threw his hands up in exasperation. “And I thought you’d finally grown up enough enough to do the same. But I guess I was wrong.” With one last shake of his head, he began heading back toward the building.

A decent person… For a moment, his words seemed to echo in her mind, breaking through the heavy fog of anger and jealousy that clouded it. Fuck. He’s right.

It was still true, wasn’t it? Even after all these months, she was still a terrible person. No matter what Ivy kept telling her, no matter how hard she tried… it was something she just couldn’t shake. She always managed to screw things up.

Harper was still mad as hell… But she’d been too hard on him, hadn’t she? Goddamn it.

“Erik, wait!” She called out to him. He stopped walking. “I took it too far, okay?” Harper admitted as she approached him. “I’m sorry. I just… This is just a lot for me to take. Like… too much.”

He sighed, finally turning to face her. “I know. And I took it way too far too… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She lied. “I just don’t know if I’m okay with this. I really don’t… God, this fucking sucks.” Harper was surprised by the sudden prickling of tears in the corners of her eyes. “I dunno… Could I at least, like… meet her, or something?”

Erik’s eyes widened. “You want me to bring Rubi here?”

“Look, if you want my ‘blessing’ or whatever, I’m gonna have to meet her in person before I can decide. I need to know who you’re planning on bringing into my son’s life.” It took all of her effort to keep her voice steady as she spoke.

He sighed. “Yeah. I get it, I guess…” Erik paused then, thinking. “I’ll talk to her about it, okay? And I’ll let you know.”

“Alright.” She replied sadly. “Thanks, Erik.”

For a moment, it almost looked as though he wanted to say something else.

But he didn’t.

——————————-

Phew! That one was a doozy!

Just wanted to let everyone know that I’ve officially posted a Casting Call for Gen 7 over on the official Sims forums ^_^ You can find all the information about it there! 🙂 (Also, if you don’t have an account on the forums but you’d like to email cc or a backstory to me, you can send it to dust2dustsims@gmail.com 🙂 ) Thanks, guys!