Get over it! Snap out of it! What’s your problem? These phrases of “encouragement” are far from helpful in helping someone who is suffering from depression to “get over it.”

I am continually amazed when people have this attitude, this ignorance about what depression really is. Maybe that’s because I know what it feels like to not be able to “get over it.” Understanding the difference between some temporary depressive state and clinical depression is important. "Normal" folks might feel sad or "depressed" for a few days or even a few weeks, but it does pass as life circumstances improve. Those who are clincially depressed, however, struggle with feelings of sadness--and often hopelessness--even when their lives are going along just fine on the outside.

I remember as a child feeling different from the other kids; I felt distant and alone at times. I remember sitting in my fifth grade classroom writing poetry in notebooks while my friends played games in the back of the room. I've always felt melancholy, no matter how great my life was going. It took my happy, optimistic mom a long time to realize that I couldn't just "snap out of it" because it was my genetic makeup. Even now she has trouble wrapping her brain around the fact that people can't make themselves more positive by just thinking that way. But she did tell me recently that we should just "do the best with what we have to work with." (Love you, Mom!) For some of us, it's a daily struggle to attempt to make positive steps to feel better or sometimes to just get through the day. Baby steps, baby steps. That's what I tell myself.

Try as I might, I am never able to “snap out of it.” I'm not saying that I'm clinically depressed (at least not diagnosed), but I have had a strong bent toward melancholy since I was a young girl. And maybe my “problem” is a brain deficiency that I was born with. So please don’t tell me just to “get over it.” Would you tell a schizophrenic to stop having hallucinations or someone who is bipolar to just quit having those darn mood swings? Would you tell a diabetic to stop having incidences of low blood sugar or someone with heart issues to stop having them?