By: Kellie Leitch, former Conservative Party Leadership candidate

I wish to congratulate Andrew Scheer on winning the Conservative Party Leadership. While my divisive, anti-immigrant, and half-baked campaign alienated many people both within and outside of my party, there’s one consolation prize for me and my future in Canadian politics; I beat the brown guy.

Most of the party members may have rejected me as their leader, but even more rejected that non-white guy who wasn’t Michael Chong.

I admit there were a lot of issues with how I presented myself as a fear-mongering nationalist who stoked the flames of hate. I couldn’t really define what a Canadian value was and focused most of my efforts on Trump-style politics. My campaign manager spread fake news that Justin Trudeau was funding Hamas. And who could forget that poorly lit video I produced that mostly consisted of long pauses spaced out between other, even longer pauses. But if the race had been just between me and that accented man, the clear winner would have been Prime Minister Kellie Leitch.

Although my name may now be synonymous with nativist policies and anti-Muslim sentiment, it doesn’t matter since I obliterated that East-Indian (or maybe Peruvian?) fellow whose name I can’t remember.

7.95% of the vote and 6th place isn’t that bad after all. With the leadership race over, I can now look to discriminating against people as a regular MP.