The Can News | Ottawa, ON

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced last week the new members of Cabinet following the swearing-in ceremony. The new cabinet is excessively large, useless and not as diverse as you could imagine.

Justin Trudeau pretending he is inspecting the honour guard

Racial and Gender Breakdown of Trudeau’s New Cabinet

Despite its enormous size, the new cabinet not only lacks diversity but also competence. It may look pretty and colourful at first, but 30 out of the 37 ministers are white, and for that reason some critics refer to it as “white-supremacist cabinet”.

Photo: Member of the LGBTQ2STUVXZ community gets angry after learning that Trudeau’s new cabinet is non-inclusive.

The new cabinet is also male-dominated, including 19 men and only 18 women, and if that wasn’t enough there aren’t any gays, transgenders, pedophiles or zoophiles in Trudeau’s cabinet. Unless some of the ministers are still hiding in the closet (or cabinet). The lack of gender diversity in the new cabinet roster had infuriated the LGBTQ2STUVXZ community in Canada.

“Even my cabinet is more colourful and inclusive than Trudeau’s…“ said Leo Varadkar, Ireland’s Prime Minister (photo)

Who’s who in Justin Trudeau’s 2019 cabinet

The Can News has compiled below some facts and curiosities about 16 of the 37 members of cabinet. We didn’t want to waste our time writing about the other 21 ministers. Don’t worry, even Trudeau doesn’t know all of them.

Chrystia Freakland Minister of Prime Minister’s Short Term Affairs Her job is to keep all the PM’s short-term extramarital affairs as discreet as possible.

Bill Moroneau Minister of Finance & Budget Balances Itself He wasn’t happy leaving Canada with a $19 billion deficit and now he’s back to make it bigger than ever. Damage Level: Woman’s shopping spree

Jessica Yaniv Minister of the Human Rights Tribunal, Transgenders & Brazilian Wax The twisted Twitter celebrity brings a complete package for Brazilian Waxing and vast experience in the B.C. tribunals.

LeNoir LeBlanc Minister of the Queen’s Private Parts Council He will be performing this important and difficult task, facilitating all Lieutenant Governors’ jobs.

Cunterine McKenna Minister of Infrastructure and Communities As the Minister of Climate Change she couldn’t build anything, but now she has the license to build everything she wants (unlimited carbon emissions).

Inspector David Clouseau Minister of Justice & Attorney General A decade ago, meningitis left Mr. Clouseau mute, deaf and blind, making him the ideal candidate to replace Jody Wilson-Raybould.

Bardish Kitchendish Minister of Diversity, Inclusion and Youth She will make sure that our youth & children are always exposed to diversity and porn at school.

HairHid Shazam! Minister of International Defence Once again, his job is to keep Canada’s borders always open and welcoming, and protect international minorities and refugees.

Joyce Betray Minister of Digital Government She is in charge of the deep state and the government’s dark web, hiding all criminal and illegal activities the PM is engaged in.

Jean-Yves Saint Laurent Minister of Wine & Cheese Board Chef Jean is also an experienced sommelier who takes care of Trudeau’s private parties aboard the Royal Canadian Air Force jet.

Monalisa Bombardier Minister of Middle Class Disparity Getting our middle class even more screwed is part of her game. She’ll increase and introduce new taxes such as incumming tax and bare assets tax.

Pablo Al Pacino Leader of Government in Hollywood He is the connection between Trudeau and the climate activist celebrities in Hollywood.

Debit Schulte Minister of Senior Hoarders She is the mastermind behind the new tax for seniors. From now on, seniors will be taxed $5 (non-deductible) for every pound of hoarding items.

Climatean Wilkinson Minister of Environment and Climate Change He has the impossible mission of fighting a losing battle with mother nature. So he will keep wasting our money attending the Paris Accord meetings.

MarIran Monsef Minister of Women, Gender Equality, & Rural Economic Development Her job is to promoting Canadian women migration to rural areas where more development is needed while keeping transgenders safe in the big cities.

Old Red Riding Hood Bennet Minister of Crown, Bridges & Dentures for Indigenous Communities Former Minister of Public Health and dentist, Dr. Bennet will take care of our indigenous’ oral health.