THE JERUSALEM ROAST EXCLUSIVE:

cnxps.cmd.push(function () { cnxps({ playerId: '36af7c51-0caf-4741-9824-2c941fc6c17b' }).render('4c4d856e0e6f4e3d808bbc1715e132f6'); });

Happy Purim from The Jerusalem Post!

KFAR MAGIC – The continued expansion of the settlement of Catan is an affront to the peace process, European Union foreign policy chief Catherine Ashton said on Friday, while Peace Now warned that the settlers of Catan were monopolizing the area’s resources.The announcement by Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu that the settlement had gathered enough ore and wheat to expand into a city and are continuing to lengthen their access road is “troubling,” Ashton said.“I strongly oppose this unprecedented expansion of an isolated settlement,” she added.Referring to the settlement’s sole access road, Ashton said that “nothing takes us further away from a road map for peace than trying to build the longest road in the West Bank.”The Catan road has often been the site of rock-throwing by residents of the nearby Palestinian village, Kfar Magic, who complain that the settlement’s road has blocked access to their town.In reference to the complaints, Ashton said “the EU particularly opposes the implementation of plans which seriously undermine the prospects of a negotiated resolution of the conflict by jeopardizing the possibility of a contiguous and viable Palestinian state.”At a village meeting with UN representatives called “The Magic Gathering,” the residents also complained that the settlers of Catan stole their Land Cards.Meanwhile, the settlers of Catan lamented that the Magic villagers are blocking their access to resources, specifically sheep, by sending robbers to Catan’s grazing land.Peace Now Secretary-General Yariv Oppenheimer said that Catan’s citizen watch, known as “The Knights of Catan,” use unwarranted violence to remove the robbers.In addition, according to Oppenheimer, the settlement’s existence makes it impossible for the Kfar Magic residents to get sufficient resources.“The settlers of Catan are trying to gain a monopoly on sheep,” Oppenheimer said at a press conference Friday. “Not only have they gathered ore and wheat to turn their illegal settlement into a city, we have found that they have enough wood, bricks and sheep to build an outpost on more grazing lands. This is Palestinian land, and they have a right to sheep!” Oppenheimer unveiled a “point system” at the press conference, which he said measures “illegal settlement activity.”“The settlers of Catan have already reached nine points,” he explained. “That means the game is almost over.”