Louisiana Woman Offers to Lick Cop’s Anus to Get Out of Arrest

Who knew that offering to eat out a police officer’s ass is a felony?

According to The Smoking Gun, a 52-year-old Monroe, Louisiana, woman was slapped with a felony public bribery charge to go along with her misdemeanor domestic abuse charge earlier this month after she offered to lick her arresting officer’s butthole in return for setting her free.



Police said Diane Thomas punched her boyfriend in the face multiple times during a domestic dispute at the couple’s home on May 16. While she was being read her Miranda rights, Thomas told one of the responding officers that her boyfriend was a “bitch,” and she had to “beat his ass” when he “got in her face.”

When the officer put her in cuffs, Thomas said that she couldn’t go to jail because she had a good job.

“If you won’t take me to jail,” Thomas said, “I will get on my knees right now. Officer, I will even lick your butt hole [sic].”

Unfortunately for Thomas, Corporal Chris Ballard of the Monroe Police Department wasn’t a fan of tongues in his balloon knot, and she was taken to jail.

Thomas was freed after paying her $5,000 bail. No word on what she would have done to get that down to $500.

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