DEAR ABBY: My son and daughter-in-law recently had a baby girl. My daughter-in-law and her family have extreme OCD and are afraid of germs. I wash my hands all the time, but still she seems to cringe when I or anyone in my family holds the baby.

I want a relationship with my granddaughter. I have expressed my concern to my son, but I don't want to cause an argument. How can I approach this without causing friction? -- GRANDMA S. IN NEW YORK

DEAR GRANDMA S.: Your daughter-in-law is a brand-new mother. Many new parents are nervous about their babies being exposed to germs.

A way to approach it would be to talk with your daughter-in-law in a non-confrontational way and tell her you have seen her reaction when you hold your granddaughter. Explain that you are careful about hand-washing, and ask if there is anything else she feels you should do. It might make her feel more in control and put her mind at ease.