“You're so selfish!” Has anyone ever said that to you? Getting hit with an accusation of selfishness can leave you feeling awful. You might start to doubt whether you're a good friend or wonder if you'd even be able to recognize your own selfish actions. So how can you know if you're really being selfish or not? Start by taking an honest look at your behaviors and your motivations. It's also important to know the difference between assertiveness, which is a healthy trait, and selfishness.