But, here's the thing: We only believed that because we have a really short memory for this shit. We bet most of you have never even heard about the time ...

Thanks to the age of instant information, constant media bombardment, and countless commemorative bumper stickers, the world will never forget the 9/11 terrorist attacks against America. And why would they? Prior to the attacks, we could scarcely believe such a thing was even possible.

5 Anarchists Blew Up Wall Street

via nychistory.blogspot.com

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All we need you to do is sit back and imagine just how many metric tons of shit would hit the fan if the following string of events happened tomorrow:

In April of 1919, a New York-based faction of Anarcho-Communists sent 36 mail bombs to various important politicians and captains of industry, including J.D. Rockefeller, J.P. Morgan, and Attorney General A. Mitchell Palmer. Six of them exploded, though only a former senator's wife and her maid were wounded, which meant the perpetrators clearly needed more practice -- and they would get it.

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"OK, I think we're ready for Book 2, now."

In June of the same year, a series of Fight Club-esque coordinated bombs went off in seven major American cities. New York; Boston; Pittsburgh; Cleveland; Paterson, New Jersey; Washington D.C.; and Philadelphia were all rocked by powerful explosions that took out houses, businesses, and churches. Although the operation was expertly coordinated (all of the explosions went off in the span of 90 minutes), only two people died in the attacks: William Boehner, a New York nightwatchman, and the bomber who was tasked with delivering another exploding hello to Attorney General Palmer but tripped on the steps outside Palmer's office and wound up blowing himself the fuck up instead. It's safe to assume that neither of these two dudes were the intended targets.

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The subsequent slip and fall lawsuit filed against Palmer was also unsuccessful.

And, yet, all of this was still just a precursor to the real attack.

Palmer (already a notorious commie-hater) was understandably pissed off after having two bombs mailed to him within mere months. His fury resulted in the infamous "Palmer Raids," wherein thousands of suspected radicals were either illegally deported or detained without trial, which is apparently the only way America knows how to deal with the threat of terrorism. Despite Palmer's efforts (or maybe even because of them), by the time September 1920 rolled around, the Anarchists were still strong enough to muster one more attack: They decided to jump-start the market with a communist stimulus package, by which we mean they blew up Wall Street.