Alllriiight!! Bob’s Burgers’ new season premiered last night and I was a big fan. I’m always a big fan. That show is the best thing Fox does right now. H. Jon Benjamin can do no wrong and the supporting cast is out-of-this-world-crazy. I could not pass up an opportunity to honor the show with some delicious burgers, pulled right from their Daily Specials board. I picked my four favorites, and um… not to brag, but I did a great job choosing. They were all amazing. It was hard to not eat four burgers in one setting. (Except not THAT hard because I made them HUGE.)

So please, sit back, and enjoy the following pun-filled burger explosions… burger-filled pun’splosions? Whatever they are, they are fantastic.

You have your Eggers Can’t be Cheesers Burger! I love burgers with eggs on top. I love anything with an egg on top. Egg yolk is honestly the best sauce ever. Add some american cheese and it makes it taste like a breakfast burger. Next time I’m adding a sausage patty to the top too!

Yoooou have your Don’t You Four Cheddar Bout Me Burger. FOUR. Four kinds of cheddar. I’ve died and gone to cheeseburger heaven. It’s stuffed with bacon cheddar (because thats the best thing you could possibly do to a burger) and then topped with three other kinds. I had a sharp Wisconsin, a white cheddar and a vintage reserve cheddar with a remarkable texture. Pick out your favorites, you can’t go wrong.

You have your Mushroom with a View Burger! Mushrooms? Yes, but so much more. A double-decker, this guy is. Smothered in mushrooms, onions and, of course, fontina!

Aaaand finally, you have your Poutine on the Ritz Burger. A bit of a stray from Bob Belcher’s description, this is a meatloaf-style burger made with Ritz crackers and then topped with poutine. Because poutine wasn’t amazing enough, it had to go on top of a fucking burger.

So that’s it guys, four of the most amazing hunks of ground beef you’ll put in your mouth. Hope you enjoy them. Head over to HoboTrashcan.com for the full set of recipes!

Below is the column as it appeared on HoboTrashcan.com.

I want to be Linda Belcher.

Restaurant owner and operator. Married to H. Jon Benjamin. Comfortable enough with her body to flash her tits on television. Hell, I’d even want three kids if they were funny enough to be cast on Flight of the Conchords.

So I may have let myself get a little carried away this week. The new season of Bob’s Burgers started last night and I wanted to celebrate. So what’s a logical thing to do? Make a burger. Nope … I made four. I took my four favorite “Burger Specials of the Day” and brought them to life. I’m just proud that I stopped myself at four. It could have been Epic Cow Slaughterfest 2013.

So how excited are you to hear which ones I picked? These are all 50 percent remarkable pun/50 percent great burger idea. Some were great puns, but boring burgers and some were great burgers, but boring puns. I think these are the four most perfectest of all of Bob’s burgers.

First up! The Eggers Can’t Be Cheesers burger. A delicious burger, a fried egg and American cheese. It’s pretty simple and pretty amazing. It’s essentially a breakfast burger. You could even add some bacon or sausage to it and really rock your socks off.

The second one was actually my favorite. But seeing as I’m famed cheese-addict, Fontina Turner, that’s a predictable statement. It’s the Don’t You Four Cheddar Bout Me burger. Yup, FOUR kinds of cheese. Bacon cheddar on the inside, three kinds of cheddar on top. It’s so rich and gooey and amazing.

Third, and largest: the Mushroom with a View burger. A double decker burger covered in sautéed mushrooms and onions and melty fontina cheese. You better have a big mouth and a huge appetite, but it’s totally worth it.

And last and most remarkable: The Poutine on the Ritz burger. A delicious meatloaf-style burger made with Ritz crackers and topped with french fries, cheese curds and gravy. This is the only one that differs from the description Bob had in mind. Rather than having a burger with poutine on the side, we’re crazying it up a bit.

“You always do this, Lynn. Whenever you entertain, you put way too much effort into it and drive yourself crazy.” -Bob

BOB’S DAILY SPECIALS

Eggers Can’t Be Cheesers

1 lb beef (80/20 gives you the juiciest burgers, but you can go leaner if you like)

kosher salt and pepper

4 buns, toasted if desired

olive oil

4 eggs

4 slices of American cheese

Start by shaping your beef into four patties, around an inch thick. You want them thicker on the outside and thinner in the middle. Salt and pepper both sides.

Preheat your cooking surface over medium-high heat. (I’m using an iron skillet.) Drizzle olive oil on your surface and wait for it to get sizzly. Cook your beef patties 3-5 minutes per side or until done to your favorite levels of pink. The last minute, top them with cheese so it can get a little melty in the skillet.

Remove burgers to the buns. While the skillet is still hot, crack your eggs into it and cook them over-easy. Place on top of your cheeseburger, put the bun on top and serve.

Don’t You Four Cheddar Bout Me

1 lb beef (80/20 gives you the juiciest burgers, but you can go leaner if you like)

kosher salt and pepper

4 buns, toasted if desired

olive oil

cheddar

cheddar

cheddar

cheddar

Start by shaping your beef into four patties, around an inch thick. Stuff one of your cheddars in the center of the patties. I used bacon cheddar for this purpose. Salt and pepper both sides.

Preheat your cooking surface over medium-high heat. (I’m using an iron skillet.) Drizzle olive oil on your surface and wait for it to get sizzly. Cook your beef patties 3-5 minutes per side or until done to your favorite levels of pink. The last minute, top them with your other cheddars so it can get a little melty in the skillet.

Remove burgers to the buns. Let rest for a few minutes. Top with the top of the bun. Obviously. Eat. Make more. Eat more.

Mushroom with a View

2 lb beef (80/20 gives you the juiciest burgers, but you can go leaner if you like)

kosher salt and pepper

4 buns, toasted if desired

olive oil

3 tbsp butter

2 cups of mushrooms, sliced

1 /2 onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

4 slices fontina cheese

In a skillet, over medium heat, melt butter. Add garlic and cook 2 minutes, or until fragrant. Add in mushrooms and onions. Cook for 8-10 minutes, until onions are brown and mushrooms are yummy-looking. Remove to a bowl.

Shape your beef into eight patties, around an inch thick. You want them thicker on the outside and thinner in the middle. Salt and pepper both sides.

Preheat your cooking surface over medium-high heat. (I’m using the same iron skillet I used for the mushrooms/onions.) Drizzle olive oil on your surface and wait for it to get sizzly. Cook your beef patties 3-5 minutes per side or until done to your favorite levels of pink. The last minute, top them with a spoonful of the mushroom/onion mixture and a slice of cheese so it can get a little melty in the skillet.

Remove burgers to the buns. Stack ‘em up, two high. Let settle for a couple minutes. Top off with the bun. Try, just try to get your mouth around it.

Poutine on the Ritz Burger

1 lb beef (80/20 gives you the juiciest burgers, but you can go leaner if you like)

1 egg

1/4 onion, diced

2/3 cup quick oats

kosher salt and pepper

4 buns, toasted if desired

olive oil

2 cups frozen french fries

1 cup cheese curds

1 can beef gravy

Cook your frozen french fries according to the package.

Meanwhile, in a bowl, combine beef, egg, onion and the oats. Blend with hands, or spoon if you’re a wuss. Once fully incorporated, shape your beef mixture into four patties, around an inch thick. You want them thicker on the outside and thinner in the middle. Salt and pepper both sides.

Preheat your cooking surface over medium-high heat. (I’m using an iron skillet.) Drizzle olive oil on your surface and wait for it to get sizzly. Cook your beef patties 5 minutes per side or until cooked through.

Meanwhile, heat your gravy, according to the directions.

Remove burgers to the buns. Top each burger with a handful of fries, 1 /4 cup cheese curds and drizzle with gravy. Let settle for a minute. Top with the bun and devour, eh?