When I think about popular culture in the first half of the 1980s, there are so many images to choose from. To name a few: New Wave, Swatch watches, Vans, Jeff Spicoli, Huey Lewis, “Ghostbusters” and New Coke. The second half is much, much less of a teal-colored jumbled mess. Really, when I think of that period between 1986 to 1990, only two words come to mind.

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Cosby sweater.

I’m not sure if this is because nothing interesting was happening in late 1980s, or if the cosmic strength of the Cosby sweater rendered everything else from that time immemorable. Perhaps the comedian’s sweaters worked like a black hole: Their pull was so incredibly powerful that no other culture could escape …

After looking at several dozen different Cosby sweaters from the era, I’m going with the latter theory. I’m not sure who made sweaters for the “Fat Albert” creator, but my guess would be that everyone in the process — from the designer to the factory workers to the sheep/alpaca providing the wool — was taking LSD.

Below are the five greatest Cosby sweaters of all time. The choices were not limited to the ones he wore on “The Cosby Show,” although I only chose a sweater if I could find photographic or video proof that Bill Cosby wore it at least once. (I’m reasonably certain he wore this one multiple time, but couldn’t confirm it.)

Credit must be given to The Daily Contributor, which I discovered during my research process. Not only did they come up with the idea before me, but they named 10. Which is better than five. (And technically I only named four. You’ll see …)

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5. The Exploding Rainbow

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Analysis: This is what I imagine it looks like when a unicorn barfs after eating too many boxes of Lucky Charms. I had to take a couple of Excedrin after looking at this sweater. It’s like one of those prints where you can relax your focus and see a picture — except instead of seeing a boat or a rocket ship, you see your own death. I hope that after the comedy show, he encased this garment in lead. The half-life for this Cosby Sweater is 24,000 years.

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4. The Three Runners

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Analysis: There was an episode early in “The Cosby Show” that focused on Cliff Huxtable’s big rematch against a former track and field nemesis from another college. So it wasn’t unusual when he showed up the next season with a sweater that appeared to commemorate the event. While this isn’t as audacious as some of Cosby’s other choices, I like added 1980s touch of the little Dolphin shorts on the runners. I also like how it looks like the figures are desperately trying to run off of the sweater. I would add a third mortgage on my house to own this garment.

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3. The New Coke

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Analysis: After years of wearing sweaters with at least 15 different colors, Cosby goes monochromatic … and he still looks otherworldly. This is more like a Top 15 sweater, but it gets elevated all the way to No. 3 because it’s from a New Coke commercial, and New Coke is funny. (Note that in two commercials for the product, he doesn’t drink the beverage once. I wonder if that was in his contract.) My childhood officially ended when I realized that Bill Cosby would sell anything, and probably never ate a Jello Pudding Pop in his life.

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2. The Double Theo

Analysis: OK, so this isn’t technically a sweater, it’s a sweatshirt. And it’s not being worn by Bill Cosby, it’s being worn by his TV son Theo played by Malcolm Jamal Warner. But it’s my list, and I say the Double Theo gets included. This garment speaks for itself, but I’ll add two more thoughts: 1. While this sweatshirt is 10 times more ridiculous than Theo’s famous Gordon Gartrell shirt, I don’t think it was being played for comedy; and 2. I hope Kid N’ Play are both getting risiduals.

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1. The WTF?

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Q: What does Bill Cosby say when someone gives him a sweater with two jade-colored dragon/tiger things that appear to be licking each other on a bed of hot lava?

A: I’ll wear that one for the family photo!

I don’t think Cosby ever meant these as self-parody, but this sweater is way over the top. If he didn’t wear 50 other weird sweaters on the show, I might assume this publicity print was airbrushed at the last minute and then sent to the media by an angry public relations intern. I hope Cosby lives for many, many more years, but this should definitely be the sweater they bury him in.

PETER HARTLAUB is the pop culture critic at the San Francisco Chronicle and founder of this parenting blog, which admittedly sometimes has nothing to do with parenting. You can follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/peterhartlaub.