I was moping about thinking about everything I haven't accomplished this last decade -- it's my nature -- when I suddenly thought of something I did in 2010 that I no longer do -- wander into my office alone, open up the laptop, and type the word HELP into the search box.

In August of that year, I was hit by a car and was laid up for a few weeks. Like a lot of people with near-death experiences, I thought about changing my life: because I didn't want the situation I was in to be the only thing I knew until the day when I would know nothing.

Changing it was terrifying, and I was afraid by doing so, I would lose everything. So I put it off for a few years. But things continued to be unbearable, and I decided to take the risk: things were so terrible, how could they get worse? I took a breath and then the plunge.