Here Are the 4 Most Dangerous Mods I've Ever Seen (on My Own Cars)

By Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez

The first mod I've ever done on a car I've owned was installing an aftermarket set of tail lights on my first car, a 1998 Nissan Maxima. The process, which should've taken a quick half hour, including a 25 minute coffee break, ended up encompassing the better part of three hours, because my then-noobish skills weren't experienced enough to realize that the light was glued on with silicone adhesive, in addition to the 10mm bolts that I so triumphantly removed in the first five minutes of the process. Flash forward a decade later, and a rapidly balding whisper of the bright-eyed 18 year old me still finds enjoyment in modifying cars, although my experiences with cars have certainly expanded beyond three hour tail light mods. Having said that, here are the four worst and most botched installs I've seen on cars that I've purchased, and all of them, I'm thankful to say, weren't completed by me. 4. Lexus with the wrong kind of woodgrain Cheap cars are the best cars, mainly because they bring with them the best surprises, which are most likely also impossibly cheap. My $300 Lexus SC300 , purchased when I was 20 years old, was no exception to this frugal rule. When I had the car delivered to my parents' house (read as having to jam a screwdriver into the ignition because the shop I bought it from lost the key), I noticed that a few things weren't operational, chief among which were the power windows.

After replacing the fuses and coming up with diddly and squat as a result, I took off the door panel held on by non-OEM approved wood screws. Lo and behold, the “there's your problem” moment hit me like a stranger's fart on a warm day – both windows were held up by badly cut wooden blocks. The engineers at Lexus surely would have been proud. 3. “I know better than the Mercedes-Benz engineers,” said no one ever. When I decided to upgrade my life to the status of a has-been hotshot accountant with the purchase of a depreciated Mercedes-Benz S-Class , I knew it would likely come with some issues, but the complexity of this car was unlike anything I had ever seen. Computers feeding other computers info from countless sensors in an array that would make the scientists at SETI wonder why they even bother coming to work.

However, the main issue with the car was that it would start fine, then immediately go into limp home mode, the solution to which became readily apparent when I dissected the dashboard and saw that the previous owner had taken it upon himself to modify the Merc's finicky electronics with a length of wire and the worst soldering job I had ever seen. One used ignition module later, and the car started and ran like new. Remember kids, never solder things you don't understand. 2. BMW M3, now with 100 percent more exploding coolant tanks! The E46 M3 was, and still is, one of the best performance bargains ever made. The German automaker's attention to performance detail made this car one hell of a formidable opponent when it came up with anything it its price range. However, after years of abuse, any car, especially ones as high strung as an M3, start to show their frayed edges and split ends.

I bought a M3 for $7000 on the rough and tumble streets of Manhattan, from a man that looked like he was done with the constant repair bills and the occasional sideswipe from a street sweeper rushing to complete his morning cleaning quota.

When I got the car, I noticed that the coolant expansion tank was repaired quite badly by epoxy, a sign that it probably should be replaced, but after a few weeks of repairs on the M3, I figured that it could probably wait a little while longer until I found a good deal on a new part.

The tank had other plans, as the botched epoxy repair resulted in it unceremoniously exploding after a 20 minute session of engine idling, shooting hot coolant all over the engine bay, and rendering the hour long process of bleeding the finicky cooling system completely moot. To this day, the sweet, hot smell of steaming coolant is something I associate with crippling defeat. 1. “Of course exposed live wires in a fuel tank isn't a good idea, you idiot!” When people modify cars to limp themselves home, sometimes it's ingenious, sometimes it's comical. However, sometimes it borders so far on the side of insanely dangerous that you're left wondering if they weren't actively rooting for your demise. Case in point: my 1991 3000GT VR4 , a car I purchased from a lovely man in New Jersey that had the worst modification I had ever seen.

I can't fault him for performing it, however, because the modification came from a prospective buyer. You see, as soon as he posted this automotive rarity on Craigslist, he had looky-loos from the surrounding counties descend on him like he was an Avengers trailer at Comic-Con. One such prospective buyer learned that the car wasn't running due to a fuel pump issue, but instead of doing things that normal humans would do, such as haggle or call a tow truck, he hacked open the rusting fuel tank and installed his own fuel pump, using house wiring, no fuses, and extending the copper wires out of the engine bay, over the top of the car, and into the trunk, where his only insulation was an old nitrile glove. One spark from a poor connection would have set off a chain reaction that could have killed anyone in the vicinity. Not to be outdone, when I picked up the car, his hackjob method of running the engine was how I got it onto the trailer, so I can't say it wasn't successful, but I did have the door open at all times in case things got a little too explodey for my tastes. Although it is cathartic, recounting these stories makes me wonder how I've made it this far in life with all my limbs attached. Hopefully my next automotive endeavors will be just as fruitful.