For the second time in less than two years, one of the Entergy gerbils responsible for maintaining power to Drainage Pumping Station 7 near City Park, fell off his wheel. The gerbil was found next to his wheel surrounded by empty bottles of Jameson. DPS 7 was also manned by the same gerbil during the August 5th, 2017 flood that submerged much of the Mid City area.

Calls to both Entergy and the Sewerage and Water Board were not returned before this article, however, Entergy did release the following public statement.

“At 5:30 AM, an Entergy employee, troubleshooting a power outage, discovered one of our dedicated S&WB Power Producing Gerbils unconscious next to his wheel. Attempts to revive him were unsuccessful and 911 was called. We are proud to report that the gerbil is now resting comfortably at University Medical Center. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family. Donations of wood chips and carrots can be dropped off at any Entergy office throughout the city. “

Our investigative reporter was able to speak with an ex-employee of Entergy who used to work with this same gerbil.

Fred was always the nicest guy around until the mayoral elections of 2010. That’s when he started drinking every night which soon spilled over to work hours. I feel so bad this has happened to him again and I wish there was something I could to help him.

The Po Boy Press will update this satirical story as more information is obtained.