I think I speak for all coulrophobes when I say nope! Nope, nope, nope! Granted, I'm not nearly as afraid of clowns as I used to be, but still, there's no way in hell that I would be caught dead attending one of Alamo Drafthouse's newly-announced Clowns-only screenings for IT: CHAPTER TWO. However, if you're a sadist who delights in being surrounded on all sides by liar's smiles, oversized shoes, and cringe-worthy theatrics, by all means, go grab your tickets to this once in a lifetime trip into the belly of the beast.

Here's the official description for the event:

We're celebrating the second chapter of Stephen King's magnum opus with a nightmare-fueling Clown-only screening of IT CHAPTER TWO. Please come dressed as a clown – the wig, the makeup, the oversized pants and suspenders, the blood-curdling makeup – and sit through this coulrophobia-inducing fright fest with a theater full of fellow... clowns. Good luck. [Insert maniacal clown laugh here.] You’re gonna need it, floaters.

The last time that Alamo Drafthouse hosted a Clowns-only event, it was for the 2017 release of director Andy Muschietti's IT. The event took place only at the theater company's Austin location, but now the terrifying celebration will take place across the U.S.

Tickets to this impending heart attack can be purchased here, so be sure to check the locations below to find out if Alamo's Clown-only IT: CHAPTER TWO screenings are happening in a city near you:

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE

IT: CHAPTER 2 CLOWNS ONLY SCREENINGS

Austin, TX

Village | Saturday, 9/7/2019

Slaughter Lane | Saturday, 9/7/2019

Lakeline | Saturday, 9/7/2019

Mueller | Saturday, 9/7/2019

San Antonio, TX

Park North | Thursday, 9/5/2019

Westlakes | Thursday, 9/5/2019

Los Angeles, CA

DTLA | Sunday, 9/8/2019

Dallas/Fort Worth

Richardson | Friday, 9/6/2019

Denver, CO

Westminster | Saturday, 9/7/2019

Phoenix, AZ

Chandler | Friday, 9/6/2019

Tempe | Friday, 9/6/2019

Northern Virginia

Ashburn | Thursday, 9/5/2019

Woodbridge | Thursday, 9/5/2019

Charlottesville, VA

Charlottesville | Saturday, 9/7/2019

Raleigh, NC

Raleigh | Friday, 9/6/2019

Springfield, MO

Springfield | Thursday, 9/5/2019

Twin Cities, MN

Woodbury | Friday, 9/6/2019

As helmed by director Andy Muschietti, the final chapter of Stephen King's classic horror masterpiece has Bill Skarsgård's Pennywise once again emerging from the darkness, with the members of the Losers Club gathering to fulfill their oaths by returning to Derry to put an end to the shape-shifting demon once and for all.

Starring as the adult members of The Losers Club are actors James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, James Ransone, and Andy Bean. Meanwhile, Jaeden Lieberher, Wyatt Oleff, Sophia Lillis, Finn Wolfhard, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Chosen Jacobs, and Jack Dylan Grazer are all set to reprise their roles as the Losers Club kids during the sequel's flashback sequences.

Meanwhile, if you'd like to not die of fright and see the film in your local theater, IT: CHAPTER TWO will float into cinemas on September 6th.