Bullied teen's push to put kindness ahead of good grades

Updated

After photos of Monique Mastrobattista's bruised face were taunted among peers on social media, the teenager decided to turn her embarrassment into a powerful message for other young people.

When Monique Mastrobattista fell down the stairs one afternoon at her school, Albert Park College in Melbourne's inner suburbs, she was left with a badly bruised face.

The 13-year-old posted a photo of herself with her friends on Snapchat, telling them that she'd been hurt.

It then became a source of torment among fellow students.

"They started screenshotting photos and making private group chats and spreading them around, they were laughing about how I fell and looked.

"I felt really embarrassed and hurt," she says.

This was the tipping point to her leaving the school.

Prior to that, she says she often spent lunch time sitting in the toilet because the other girls wouldn't talk to her.

"I'd talk to them and they'd just walk off, or ignore you," she says.

"It makes you feel like crap, because it's like I'm not worth their time, there's something wrong with me, I'm not good enough for them."

'It was probably the worst thing I've ever said to her'

Her mother Jackie says she noticed something was wrong when her daughter's grades were falling dramatically.

She was stuttering at home and was obviously anxious.

When she found out she was being bullied she admits she gave her daughter "the worst piece of advice".

"It's heartbreaking," she says.

"I kept saying, you need to toughen up darling, if they're being mean, just be mean back.

"It was probably the worst thing I've ever said to her.

"She would say: 'You're asking me to go against who I am'."

Monique is currently doing school at a distance and has been speaking with a psychologist.

Since leaving the school just a few months ago, she started a campaign called Get Kind and wrote a book called My Discreet Bully, which is being launched this week.

She says she hopes the book helps parents have a conversation with their children about bullying.

"Knowing that bullying is a huge issue, I wasn't going to stand back and watch it control me and other countless lives, when I knew I had the power to do something and help others," she says.

"It's helped people feel better about themselves and be happier with who they are."

Her mother says parents often focus on encouraging school marks rather than making sure their children are good people.

"Parents need to go back to simple things — teach their kids kindness [and] encourage them to do random acts of kindness. It's not always about the grades."

"Kindness comes from home."

Having been born 12 weeks premature, Jackie says her daughter has "always been a fighter".

"Her birth weight was 755 grams," she says.

"Her survival rate was 2 per cent, and we were told she's going to have cerebral palsy, she was going to have learning difficulties, she's not going to walk."

Topics: author, bullying, youth, human-interest, albert-park-3206, vic, australia

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