When the epic Beasts of Fable pets stepped onto the scene back in March, they ruled pet-battledom. Their huge health pools and crazy-hard-hitting abilities mopped the floor with our pathetic pets and made us look like level 1 noobs.

That is, until we figured out how to beat them all with super cheesy tactics guaranteed to win. But the pet gods were not content with our domination, and the Beasts of Fable were revamped in patch 5.3 to make them harder to kill.

So this week, I went out and fought every last one of them, testing old strategies and devising new ones. Now I’m ready to present to you, the new and improved guide to beating every epic Beasts of Fable pet. You can always view the old guide when you’re feeling nostalgic.

Reviewing the Arsenal

The biggest change made across the board in patch 5.3 is that the Beasts of Fable have significantly smaller health pools. This reduces the effectiveness of a lot of abilities we abused before, which deals damage that scales with the max health of your enemy. Now, the Beasts of Fable rely on a buff that reduces all damage taken by 50% to make them sturdy.

Let’s take a look at some of the key abilities we identified as being particularly strong in our previous guide.

Still deals 10% of enemy’s maximum health as damage, and has a 100% hit chance

The 10% of health damage is not negated by the Beasts of Fable damage-reduction shield

Advice: Use it still!

No change

Still deals 6% of maximum health every turn

This is still a strong ability, but none of the pets that have it are superstars against the new pets

Advice: Play it if you’re desperate, but there are better options.

Both still deal heavy damage, but instead of instantly killing pets below 25% health, they now deal double damage to pets in that range

Double damage is very close to the same thing as instantly killing

Impale also had it’s damage and cooldown lowered a bit, making Predatory Strike the better nuke

Advice: Use it still!

No change

This weather effect still boosts all healing by 25% and increases the maximum health of all pets by 50%

That means it’s still a 50% increase in all attacks that scale based on maximum health

Advice: Use it if you’re running a lot of health-scaling attacks!

No change

Still equalizes health between two pets (combine the two health totals, split it in half, and give it to both)

Advice: For the love of Aki, yes, use this!

It still causes a meteorite to fall in 15 rounds, killing all active pets that are not roaches

Change: Beasts of Fable are much more likely to dodge this attack, which makes it incredibly unreliable as a tactic now.

Advice: Avoid this tactic unless you want to be on edge every fight

Team Options

The Apocalypse Team

Roach, Mini Mindslayer/Nether Faerie Dragon, Rabbit/Singing Sunflower

Pros: Can win even while level 20, can completely ignore damaging abilities

Cons: Unreliable, hard-coded misses put in by Blizz to reduce effectiveness of this team

The Boring Team

The Killer Team

Mini Mindslayer/Nether Faerie Dragon, Zandalari Kneebiter, Darkmoon Hatchling

Pros: Lots of abilities that work well vs Epic pets, room for interaction and decision making, vartiation in fights

Cons: Not quite as set-and-forget reliable as the other team

Updated tips for killing each Beast of Fable

How to beat No-No, the Aquatic Otter

No significant ability changes

The key is still to use his own Dam ability to block his Dive attack

Tip: Life Exchange works while he’s underground and doesn’t trigger Dam

How to beat Ti’un The Wanderer, the Aquatic Turtle

Big changes on this guy. He’s now the hardest to kill!

His shield damage absorption applies after the 50% damage reduction, and reduces each hit by 112 – So you need to deal more than 224 damage just to hit it. You need more than 450 to deal 100 damage to it.

If no damage is dealt, it also stops effects from spells landing

Tip: Darkmoon Hatchling is king here, since it has Trample and Predatory Strike. He can solo him if it doesn’t cast Pump

How to beat Kafi, the Beast Ram

No significant ability changes

Straightforward fight

Tip: His stun is only a 25% chance. That’s a 25% cahnce to lose the match. If it stuns, plan to restart it — or just restart it if you’re in a rush

How to beat Dos-Ryga, the Aquatic Hovering Fish

No significant ability changes

Still one of the hardest fights: Tons of healing, and he’ll tear our Magic pet apart

Raptor can do some heavy damage if no Whirlpool proc, with Hunting Party + Bloodfang

Tip: Do your best to keep a low-health pet alive to absorb a hit + the DoT Whirlpool. That’s a huge damage absorb that would otherwise one-shot a pet

How to beat Lucky Yi, the Critter Cricket

No significant ability changes

Got a huge damage increase on his tooltip, but his actual damage seems low still

Says it should hit for 426, instead hitting for about 300

Tip: Bring any beast damage and melt this thing’s face off.

How to beat Greyhoof, the Beast Mushan

No significant ability changes

Still heavy damage, and a damage buff to himself

Tip: Just have to out-DPS him because his Trample ability is spammable and brutal

How to beat Skitterer Xi’a, the Aquatic Water Strider

No significant ability changes

Still damage, with a small perk for going first

Tip: Use Eyeblast over Mana Surge on Mini Mindslayer. That will slow it down to lower some of its damage, and you won’t survive 3 rounds with Mana Surge anyways.

How to beat Ka’wi the Gorger, the Critter Caterpillar

My wife thinks he’s cute

Magic pet can barely survive the burst if he’s lucky–everything else is toast. Use Eyeblast to slow down the enemy to get Life Exchange off

Tip: Chew hits for 800 damage. For the love of God, bring something that can dodge (like a Rabbit).

How to beat Nitun, the Critter Raccoon

No significant ability changes

Blocks/Dodges are super valuable. Consider rotating in a Rabbit

Tip: If he kills with Ravage, he heals for 700 health. It’s brutal and will totally change the match. Keep trying until you can dodge a Ravage kill

How to beat Gorespine, the Beast Porcupine

His Bleed deals way more damage now, enough to kill most Critter pets in one hit

Tip: Focus hits into big chunks where you can, with damage buffs and load-and-fire turns to limit damage he reflects back.

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