50178 views

Scott Morrison loses the unloseable federal seat of Wentworth

00:00 - 00:03 Every polling booth has been wrapped in plastic

00:04 - 00:05 We took down their posters everywhere

00:05 - 00:07 and put ours up, here and here

00:08 - 00:12 The Blueshirts are out in force on every street

00:12 - 00:15 It's been a show of strength, we couldn't have done anything more.

00:17 - 00:19 The natural order has been restored

00:19 - 00:21 Wentworth will remain a blue ribbon Liberal seat.

00:24 - 00:26 Mein Morrison

00:27 - 00:28 There's been a swing...

00:31 - 00:33 ...of more than 20% from the LNP

00:34 - 00:36 Kerryn Phelps has won

00:53 - 00:58 All the leftards who said we should run a female candidate in Wentworth, go outside with the women.

01:13 - 01:15 What is wrong with these Eastern suburbs' bastards?

01:15 - 01:17 We are Wentworth's born to rule party

01:18 - 01:23 This is a nightmare: Independent, Jewish AND gay.

01:25 - 01:28 And to top it all off, she's a woman!

01:29 - 01:31 It's like the politically correct quadrella from Hell!

01:31 - 01:34 We have held this seat since federation

01:34 - 01:37 That's 1901, long before lesbians were even invented!

01:37 - 01:40 I thought she wasn't running because she had HIV, why is she even here?!?

01:40 - 01:42 That was just a vicious rumour we tried to start last week.

01:42 - 01:46 Well now we're as popular as needles in strawberries... with chlamydia

01:46 - 01:48 We were trying to appeal to the party's conservative base

01:48 - 01:52 Why not something clever like, "Wentworth, where the bloody hell are you?"

01:53 - 01:54 We got our tax cuts through, 5% unemployment,

01:56 - 01:57 we gave everyone a bagel

01:57 - 02:00 and every surf club a pile of money, except for that schmuck at Tamarama.

02:00 - 02:03 No soup for you, Mr ALP surf club president Tim Murray!

02:04 - 02:08 We risked WW3 moving the Israeli embassy to Jerusalem

02:08 - 02:13 and pissed off every Muslim between here and the Arctic circle

02:14 - 02:16 and despite ALL that, they still didn't vote for us!

02:17 - 02:21 We backed that ranga clown Hanson that it's #oktobewhite

02:27 - 02:29 Noone told me Sharma was Indian

02:30 - 02:34 Tony and Potatohead didn't think this one through

02:34 - 02:36 Cash splash? It was like a golden shower of cash!

02:41 - 02:42 20%? That's the biggest swing

02:43 - 02:47 since they hung that wop bastard Mussolini

02:48 - 02:53 I blame Halal Mal, his traitor son and the Dickhead for Warringah

02:54 - 02:56 We're going to have to lift our prayer game this Sunday

02:56 - 02:59 I grew up in bloody Wentworth, my cop dad used to arrest lesbians

03:00 - 03:02 Why didn't they elect us?

03:04 - 03:07 Don't give up Julie, you might get Veterans' Affairs

03:14 - 03:16 It's all good fellas

03:19 - 03:23 Don't worry, keep your chins up

03:25 - 03:26 We can reinstate Barnaby as Deputy PM

03:31 - 03:33 We'll get the band back together.

03:40 - 03:46 We exhumed John Howard for this campaign, we could try Menzies next time

03:46 - 03:49 After all, I'm a marketing genius, right?