Okay, so remember when I said that things were totally boring and that’s why I wasn’t writing for a while?

Yeah, I think I totally jinxed it or something. Because now, everything’s… well, you’ll see.

So that meeting with Jace a couple weeks ago was pretty interesting. And like, TOTALLY not what I was expecting (Okay, on second thought, I really didn’t have any clue WHAT to expect. But still).

Jace is always laughing and joking and basically NEVER takes anything seriously. But this time was different. He sorta ‘opened up to me’, or whatever Papa would call it. He told me all about why he broke up with Serenity, and how he was feeling all lonely and stuff.

He told me he really needs a friend right now. And apparently he means the same type of friends me and Mason were.

And like, I’m not COMPLAINING or anything. I mean, have you looked at Jace?

The sneaking around part is kinda stressful, but also weirdly fun sometimes, in a way. Plus, it’s not like with Mason where we always had to meet up in a public place. Neither of us really have to keep it a secret from our families. Jace already invited me over to his place a few times (his foster parents are really nice, but also like to leave him alone without being all nosy… Which is super convenient).

I was even brave enough to bring him over to my house a few days ago too (Mama and Papa totally wouldn’t listen when I told him we’re just friends though. Ugh…)

Me and Jace have been having a lot of fun together. No full-on sex or anything (yet… let’s be real here). A little making out and messing around so far, but nothing more than what me and Mason did the first couple times we hung out together. We’re easing into it (with a bed this time! It’s already ten times more comfortable that way).

Most of the time we just talk anyway. And it’s really nice ACTUALLY getting to know him for once. After all the months we’ve been hanging out together, I never realized that I knew basically nothing about him. I guess Serenity never really let me get too close. It’s exactly like he said — she was basically treating him more like a PET than a boyfriend, from the sound of it.

I feel really bad that he had to go through that… But that’s karma, isn’t it? He let himself fall for the stupid relationship trap, and he learned the hard way just what a huge freaking mistake it was. Still sucks for him though. I feel bad.

And speaking of feeling bad… I know that’s how I should feel about this whole ‘sneaking around’ thing. And I kinda-sorta do… But…

Okay, look. I heard what Serenity said about not wanting me to be friends with Jace anymore. I know hanging out with him probably wouldn’t make her too happy. And the messing around DEFINITELY wouldn’t. And I DO kinda feel guilty about it sometimes.

But they’re not even together anymore! It’s not like he’s cheating on her with me or anything. And we’re just friends anyway… I mean yeah, we make out and feel each other up and stuff sometimes. But he’s not taking me on dates or buying me flowers or any of that crap.

I’m not doing anything wrong!

Maybe if it was like, Zelda or Athena or Cleo’s ex or something, I’d probably feel different. THEY’RE my friends, not Serenity.

She’s not terrible or anything. Fun to talk to and stuff, like I keep saying. But she’s just not… nice. And I’m starting to see that more and more now.

I dunno why it didn’t seem like such a big deal before, but ever since I talked to Jace, I’m noticing a bunch of little things. Just the way she talks to people. Or spreads every single rumor she hears whether it’s true or not. Or how she’ll say something nice to someone’s face, then talk shit about them the second they walk away.

Okay, okay. I know what you’re thinking now. “But Ember, if she’s so mean, why do you keep hanging out with her? Why don’t you just dump her and stick with Jace and all your other friends?”

And the answer is… complicated.

I used to always tell myself that I didn’t give a crap what anybody else thinks of me. And that used to be true. Heck, that’s part of what got Serenity and her crew letting me hang out with them in the first place.

I’m not sure when things changed, but the truth is, I DO care. A lot.

I can feel the difference between how people look at me when I’m hanging out with Serenity, and how they look when I’m hanging out with my other friends. As Onkel Tam would say, it’s like standing within ten feet of Serenity gives me a +2 Charisma modifier.

And as much as Zelda and my other friends joke that I’m a ‘sellout’ or say I’m ‘under Serenity’s spell’ or something, I like how it feels. I don’t wanna let that feeling go just because she’s a little bitchy sometimes.

Plus, there’s Trent. He and his sister are a package deal. And there’s no way I can just leave Trent behind. Not now.

I guess that’s one weird advantage to Jace getting kicked out of the group. On the days I sit with them, Serenity and Natasha spend the whole time whispering and gossiping together now… Which leaves me and Trent plenty of time to get to know each other better.

God he’s just so perfect. A lot like Jace, I guess… But a little rougher around the edges. Not as ‘soft’ as Jace about feelings and stuff, but still just as charming and funny and did I mention GORGEOUS? I can barely eat my lunch any time me and Trent are together. My stomach is too full of butterflies to make any room for food.

We’ve been talking a lot lately — at lunch, obviously, but in art class too. And even after school sometimes. It’s never anything serious though. Just random funny memes or asking me for help with homework and stuff.

Trent’s kind of been added to my afternoon ‘routine’ now. I get home, pull out my laptop, check to see if GeekWithAGuitar replied to any of my comments, say hi to Mason on Messenger, and that’s usually around the time Jace starts texting me… And lately, Trent does too (maybe one of these days my hands will stop shaking when I try and write back!).

There’s still a part of me that hasn’t forgotten that stuff Jace said about Trent — telling me to ‘be careful’ around him and comparing him to his sister and stuff. But how can I really be sure if any of it’s true? How do I know Jace isn’t just jealous or something because his friend kicked him to the curb? (Which, okay, was a dick move. But that’s between them, not me!)

I’ve decided I’m not gonna let it bother me too much. Trent’s just my friend anyway (unfortunately), and so is Jace. I like hanging out with them. And I’m not gonna let their stupid fight change any of that.

And I won’t let Serenity change it either.

She still has no idea I’ve been hanging out with Jace (thank God!), and something tells me she probably doesn’t realize how much me and her brother have been talking either.

Which is definitely a good thing. Because what Serenity doesn’t know can’t hurt her (or, more importantly, ME).

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Note: I made a new/updated screenshotting tips video for fun last week! If you’d like to check it out, please click HERE 🙂