TORONTO – Local anti-choice activist Dan Jones is livid about a new bill passed by the Ontario legislature that leaves him only 2,478 other avenues to verbally abuse women.

“There are only so many thousands of ways a God-fearing man can scream at women these days, thanks to PC culture and draconian nuisance laws,” Dan says, his face red and his eyes bulging. “How can I let women know that they’re not living how I demand that they live if I’m not allowed to scream at them everywhere I want to? What about my rights?”

Dan, who when he’s not screaming at women in person spends most of his time swearing at women on Facebook and Twitter, threatening them in anonymous letters he places on their windshields, and watching Mel Gibson movies, is worried this bill is only the beginning of efforts to silence his voice.

The Ontario legislature, cognizant of the concerns of shouty men like Dan, has made it clear that this is a one-off piece of legislation and they have no intention of stopping men from hurling abuse at women on the internet, in courtrooms, or in the entertainment industry. But Dan is not convinced.

“I mean, what’s next?” Dan asked, loudly and in an increasingly frantic pitch. “Banning me from standing outside Shoppers Drug Mart and shouting at all the women who look like they were there to buy birth control? Forbidding me from calling women whores in the grocery store? Where does it end?”

At press time, a cancelled alt-right protest left Dan with only 4,866 ways to hate-crime people of colour.