LEGENDARY former Australian fast bowler Jeff Thomson has brought the house down at the Allan Border Medal night with a hilarious and at times profane speech.

Thomson, alongside former Test wicketkeeper Wally Grout, was inducted into the Australian Cricket Hall of Fame on the biggest awards night of the year for the sport in this country.

Thomson received his award from his former Test skipper Ian Chappell, who warned him that it was “heavier than a schooner”, before proceeding to regale the audience with several tales.

“All right, I won’t keep you long,” Thommo began. “Cricket was something I could do for fun. Anyone that knows me would realise that — and we were lucky in our day, we could play it for fun.

Jeff Thomson arrives with his family at the 2016 Allan Border Medal ceremony at Crown Palladium. Source: Getty Images

“I admire these guys that play now. They’ve got to work their a**e off. They’ve got to play so much cricket. I mean, all the stuff they’ve got to put up with. All the press, all the media, everything like that. We didn’t have to put up with any of that stuff.

“I know this is going to shock you but I’ve gone a bit soft in my old age. But it would be hard work, so we flew under the radar. We football in the off-season so I could get away from cricket. I didn’t have to do it 12 months of the year. I don’t know how they do it 12 months of the year, these blokes.

“They wonder why they all break down. Why wouldn’t they break down? Christ almighty. I’m amazed myself. You get old. You wonder how old I am. I’m 65 year old. Everything shrinks. That’s why I’m happy to wear coats and all this s**t — you don’t show your arms.

Jeff Thomson in full flight. Source: News Limited

“Even my eye balls are shrinking. I had to go to Specsavers the other day. And you wouldn’t believe it, it’s the only good thing about getting old, I’ve found, was they gave me some glasses for close-ups so they magnify everything. I used them in the s**thouse just before — and I was pretty happy with what I had down there. I’ve just got to get a pair for my wife!

“No, seriously. I’ll tell you why it’s a big honour, because to follow Wally Grout. (Grout’s daughter) Nelma used to umpire me. How do you reckon that went? Wally Grout’s daughter was umpiring me at Toombul. Wally and I both played for Toombul. Not together, if you can imagine, but she was the umpire of the games and I think Nelma would tell you I didn’t sledge too much.

Nelma Grout, daughter of Wally Grout, and Jeff Thomson. Source: News Corp Australia

“But Wally was a fantastic ‘keeper ... Slasher Mackay was from our club and several other blokes and that, at Toombul there. Ian Davis came up from Sydney to play with us as well, so we have a few Australian players in that club.

“So it’s a real big buzz. To me, it’s all about the kids. My wife, down there, all the s**t she’s had to put up with for 40 years. She didn’t get all the trips you girls down there get now. I’ll tell you that.

“We had to sneak them in on planes, they didn’t come on the same planes. They used to stay in some s**thole down the road. I’m serious. No wonder half the blokes were divorced. Not really, but she’s a wonderful girl. Forty years and to put up with my part and I’ve got three wonderful boys.

Jeff Thomson and Dennis Lillee. Source: News Corp Australia

“My old man is dead, my mum is still alive. She’s 97. S**t I hope I don’t last that long. Not the way I drink. I’m going to run out of money very shortly. Especially tonight.

“But it’s all those people that help you as kids ... the ones that don’t come in this room tonight. The ones that do all the s**t when you’re a kid, taking you to the games. And they’ll never be the recognised ones, but they were the ones who took you and all that sort of thing to those games. And they’re the ones that ring you up and say ‘well done’. It’s for those people. Thank you.”

The typically Thommo speech was widely celebrated on social media.

This Jeff Thomson speech. Oh my. — Rob Harris (@rharris334) January 27, 2016

Good luck, Nine, with editing Jeff Thomson's speech. Hilarious and fruity, of course. #ABmedal — Melinda Farrell (@melindafarrell) January 27, 2016

Jeff Thomson absolute gold at the #ABMedal. Must watch viewing just for his Hall of Fame acceptance speech. — Dave Middleton (@Dave_Middleton) January 27, 2016

Jeff Thomson 3 votes , one of the great acceptance speeches you will hear — dayne beams (@beama9) January 27, 2016

Just caught Jeff Thomson’s Hall of Fame speech… What a cracker. #ABMedal — Veronica Eggleton (@veggleton) January 27, 2016

Anyone listened to the speech by Jeff Thomson? Such a bloody legend. Has to be one of the funniest & best speeches ever. #ABMedal #WWOS — Ninad Bapat (@iambapat) January 27, 2016

@CricketAus Great speech from Jeff Thomson at #AlanBorderMedal made the night more colorful and less boring than other nights #thommo — Ricci Centofanti (@cynric2002) January 27, 2016

Why is Jeff Thomson not trending at #1? Straya? #ABmedal #thommo — Baroness Barbara (@barbwodecki) January 27, 2016

Jeff Thomson......classic!!!! — Lou (@LouFrench_) January 27, 2016

What a speech from Jeff Thomson #allclass #ABMedal — Jedd Glass (@jeddglass12) January 27, 2016

Jeff Thomson's speech was hilarious 😂 👏🏻 #ABmedal — Shane Clark (@ShaneC1310) January 27, 2016

Jeff Thomson, take a bow. That is absolute gold, the best speech for a HOF induction you will here. #ABmedal — Luke Marchioro (@Real_LukeMarch) January 27, 2016

Jeff Thomson's Hall of Fame speech wins. It just wins. #ABmedal — The Magnet (@mikkithompson93) January 27, 2016

Jeff Thomson, what a legend. — Nicole (@nicolee_hanna) January 27, 2016

Jeff Thomson you legend. Best acceptance speech ever #ABMedal — Paul Blake (@PaulBlakeCW) January 27, 2016

Jeff Thomson Hall of Fame speech was hilarious. He would've been a funny bugger to be around back in the day. #ABmedal — William Chau (@will_chau) January 27, 2016

Jeff Thomson with some comedy gold at #ABmedal ... Lucky it's after 930pm! #HallOfFame — Paul Cochrane (@paulcochrane) January 27, 2016