To all you despondent liberals, Labour centrists, Tory modernisers, remainers, social justice warriors, social justice worriers, and everyone out there fretful about Brexit, depressed by Donald Trump, and scared of the alt-right, here is my festive message: get off the ground, you wusses. Put down your gingerbread lattes, and put up your dukes.

Let us consult the wisdom of Sean Connery’s Malone in The Untouchables, and adapt it to our times. You want to get the alt-right? Here’s how you get them. They pull a knife, you pull a gun. They send one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way.

Before we proceed, and to pre-empt litigation, let me emphasise that I am speaking metaphorically. If you were by any chance planning to mark Boxing Day by going after a member of the far right with a pointed stick, please don’t. Being against the law, it will only complicate matters. It is also likely to give you indigestion after all those turkey sandwiches.

Stand up for integration: present it as an opportunity not a burden

Still, in every other respect, it really is time to stop sobbing and toughen up. So here are my 10 tips for liberals of all kinds hoping to stop the march of the right in 2017:

Defend your ground, aggressively

Pluralism, women’s equality, ethnic diversity, our responsibility to refugees, internationalism, LGBT rights – all that is now under systematic attack. It won’t defend itself. One of the enduring lessons of Bill Clinton’s campaigns is that rapid rebuttal works. When idiots post idiocy on social media, call them out. Challenge, probe, demand answers. Be civil, but unrelenting. Never cringe or yield ground to bigots. Facts defeat fury, sooner or later.

Colonise your opponents’ language

The Brexiteers, alt-right and Breitbart gang have been expert in their vocabulary. “Take back control” was a great campaign slogan. But what does “control” mean to the mother of three whose pay is lagging behind inflation? Or to the 55-year-old man suddenly made redundant because his employer is relocating to the continent? Or to the restaurateur no longer able to hire migrant labour? And why is centrist speech dismissed as “virtue signalling” while fiercely rightwing language is hailed as “plain speaking”? As for “liberal elite”, that has come to mean little more that “people in London I don’t like”. Again, point this out. You’ll find that the most sensitive “snowflake” of the lot is an alt-right tweeter called upon to define his terms.

Lead, don’t follow

Treat opinion polls as no more than partial snapshots of opinion rather than flawless oracles. Use social media to explain, correct errors and confront folly – not to people-please. Indeed, distrust those who invoke “the people”. There is no British Volk – one of the finest features of these heterogeneous islands.

Heed grievances – but don’t appease

Acknowledge and respect the “left-behind” – and not just angry whites. It is plainly unjust that, too often, globalisation involves paying the rich even more and the poor even less. There won’t be much mass consumerism if consumers can’t afford food and shelter. But don’t give an inch to the protectionists and the border-closers. The greatest challenge to future employment – and not just the blue-collar variety – is automation. It is also an opportunity. Theresa May’s government promises an “industrial strategy” that harmonises technology, education and job creation. Hold the prime minister to account.

Stand up for immigration

Not just as an economic necessity but as a cultural good. If there is such a thing as “Britishness”, it has cordial multiplicity at its heart. Stamp on the economically illiterate idea that immigration is a zero-sum game, and that newcomers are depriving Britons of work, housing, school places and healthcare. The NHS and social care system already employs 130,000 EU citizens. The service industry would collapse without migrant labour. Do not tolerate the infantile misrepresentation of “immigration” as the cause of every evil. Demand maturity in public discourse. Be relentless.

Stand up for integration

Don’t confuse liberalism with relativism. Present integration as an opportunity, not a burden. Insist upon adequate resources for English teaching. Respect and celebrate difference, but define a core of legal duties, social responsibilities and cultural norms to which all must adhere. Never let the claims of faith trump the promotion of equality – especially of women. If your prime objective is not to cause offence, don’t bother.

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Fight the next battle, not the last

Successful politics requires an unsentimental readiness to identify the problems of today, not yesterday. Margaret Thatcher fought inflation, union power and Soviet communism. Tony Blair sought to combine economic efficiency with social justice. In 2017, the challenges are no less specific: globalisation (opportunities and discontents); Islamist and far-right extremism; the cult of autocracy fuelled by populism; climate change; the consequences of human longevity. Be uncompromising in your focus. Don’t let the other side frame the debate.

Don’t make a fetish of “unity”

The lesson of 2016 is that you are in a fight, and you lost the first round. This is not the moment for vague “One Nation” rhetoric. It’s a time of political combat – whether you like it or not. Resist kneejerk reaction, but don’t be afraid to take sides. Define your red lines and patrol them assiduously. This is the biggest political scrap since the cold war: autocracy versus democratic institutions; liberalism versus traditionalism; wall-building versus openness. The alt-right, Ukip and Breitbart understand that. Do you?

Challenge the public

Churchill, Kennedy, Mandela: part of greatness is a readiness to demand “blood, toil, tears and sweat”. Remember Benjamin Franklin’s answer to the woman who asked what kind of government was on offer: “A republic – if you can keep it.” Voters don’t resent patriotic and civic demands. But they do punish lazy promises (£350m extra a week for the NHS? Trump’s pledge to reopen coal mines?) Have the courage to declare that worthwhile solutions are never easy.

Be patient

It’s bound to be a long haul. There will be setbacks along the way. But – if you hold your nerve – the far-right revolution will be revealed for the fraud that it is.

So get some rest in Christmas week. Go back to your sitting rooms – and prepare for Sherlock. Then resume the fight. To adapt the distinction beloved by the Brexiteers, soft liberalism just doesn’t cut it any more. Time to try the hard variety.