In January we introduced you to Juno Dawson, award-winning Young Adult author and GLAMOUR's newest columnist. Taking us on her amazing transgender journey, this month she asks, what's in a name? And explains the words you should never say to a trans person.

Becky Maynes

An unforeseen difficulty of being a trans person is the crushing weight of responsibility that comes with choosing your own name. Far from being a moment of liberation, it's a curse, let me tell you. Whatever name your parents lumbered you with, you can resign yourself to the fact that it was out of your control. Not so for trans people, we have the job of finding a name that's truly 'you'.


If I were to go with what my parents would have called me, had I been born a natal female, it would have been Katy. I neither look, nor feel like a Katy, and some infinitely more famous member of the Kardashian dynasty has rather claimed Cait.

I love my parents, and their support has been the most significant part of my transition, and so I wanted to honour them by keeping the initial they gave me. I was born 'James', and despite Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively trying to make fetch happen, James remains very much a boy's name. Honestly, had I been a Sam or Alex I'd have kept it the same for pure ease.

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"Adopting a new name is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to find a name that reflects how I view myself and how I feel on the inside"

Jamie, Jaime, Jaimie, Jaiymeeeeee all felt a bit cutesy, not to mention reminiscent of Summer Heights High's Ja'mie, so I initially opted for 'Jain'. Sounded like James, wasn't as straightforward as Jane. One of my dearest friends, however, is called Louis, pronounced 'Lewis'. He spends a good degree of his life spelling his name out and I got a glimpse of introducing myself as 'Jain like rain' until my death.


Adopting a new name is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to find a name that reflects how I view myself and how I feel on the inside. Choosing Jain, simply as it sounded like my old name, didn't sufficiently do this.

Juno, in mythology, was the sister (and wife - controversial) of the god Jupiter. The queen of the heavens and goddess of women. In statues and artworks, she is depicted as victorious, wearing armour, furs and peacock feathers. In short, she is the strength in all women.

Trans people hear 'brave' a lot. We are 'brave'. I always think it's a shame we have to be, but I do feel strong. Going forward, I have cast off the worries and doubts I had about making such a big change. The dissenting voice in my head is silenced and I am boldly marching into the unknown. I will need a thick skin, an armour, to fend off people who would attack and mock me. Like Juno, I will be victorious. And so, I'm taking her name.

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Since announcing my transition last October, the one thing that people seem to worry about is what to call me. At events, in traditionally female clothes and make-up, I get flack for calling myself James and using male pronouns. Before events, worried librarians and booksellers call to make sure I'm still 'he'. It's possible you, dear reader, have wondered how to refer to and address a real-life trans person or even good old Caitlyn Jenner.


It's like the run up to a bad joke: 'What do you call a trans woman?'

Answer: Ask her.

Here's the thing. I'm very quickly learning there are as many ways to be trans as there are trans people. Every trans person is different. I will not let anyone tell me I'm 'getting it wrong'. Angry internet people (AIPs) on Twitter get their panties in a right old twist, and yes, for some trans people getting names and pronouns right is a very sore spot.

You know what? I just don't care. I really don't, and you can't make me. Right now, some people call me James and some Juno. New people call me 'she', my older friends, who knew me as James, still call me 'he' and that's FINE. We, and I include myself in that, are learning. Society is learning how to respond to the increased visibility of trans people and Juno's Rome wasn't built in a day.

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No trans person I know would be offended by you asking, 'Would you like to be called he or she right now?' Many trans people express their preference on their websites or social media channels. DO respect their choice, to not do is plain belligerent.

I know a lot of people, my mother included, fret about 'what to call them'. Well not 'them' for starters. I present a handy cheat sheet:

Transgender

An umbrella term for anyone who moves between traditional concepts of gender, either permanently or temporarily. Sometimes also used to describe people who have made a permanent change. You might see this written as MTF (male to female) or FTM (female to male).

Transsexual

Sometimes used to describe someone who has changed their gender to reflect how they felt on the inside. Now used less commonly than transgender or just 'trans'.

Transvestite

Someone who occasionally wears clothing traditionally assigned to the opposite sex for fun.

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Drag Queen/King

Someone who performs theatrically in clothes traditionally assigned to the opposite gender.

Genderqueer, genderfluid, non-binary

Increasingly common, these terms describe anyone who rejects traditional concepts of male and female. Their clothing may reflect this or not.

Words to avoid

Tranny (see below), cross-dresser (this suggests any change is some sort of fabric-based fetish and not a gender identity), 'sex change' (the correct term is gender reassignment).

It's a shame language is so gendered, it does make life hard. What follows now is a special message to all public-facing workers. This is a plea to the coffee baristas, bartenders, waiters and receptionists. Can we please not use 'man' or 'sir' or 'mate' after every transaction? Since starting my transition, I've become hypersensitive to how often this happens. Of course, no one who's called me 'man' is trying to cause offence, but it's so needless, and every time is like a little poke in the eye reminding me how much bloody work I've got to do to convince a random stranger I'm not a bloke. Wouldn't it be easier if we just said 'thanks' and 'see ya'? While we're at it, how do we feel about 'love' and 'darling'?

Words can be so powerful - they can be an incredible force for love, or for hate. Some words, and here I refer to the word 'tranny', are terrible weapons. It is used against my community like a grenade.


In folklore, knowing someone's 'true name' gives you a power over them. Be careful how you wield it. By sharing my new name with you, I'm letting you in and hope it will be reciprocated.

My name's Juno Dawson, what's yours?

@junodawson