Spring training camps open this week in Florida and Arizona, heralding the start of a baseball season sure to be full of surprises. We’ll have plenty of time for serious predictions — Could the Mets have more wins than the Yankees? Could the Giants win the title in an odd-numbered year? — but here’s a look at a calendar of the absurd:

Feb. 20 — The PITTSBURGH PIRATES, having already used the former Yankees Russell Martin, Chris Stewart and now Francisco Cervelli as their catcher, decide to go all in. They extend spring training invitations to Jake Gibbs, Rick Cerone, Butch Wynegar, Matt Nokes, Mike Stanley, Jorge Posada, Chris Widger, Sal Fasano and Yogi Berra.

March 18 — Buck Showalter, the manager of the BALTIMORE ORIOLES, asks the team’s owner, Peter Angelos, for permission to interview with the Republican National Committee to be a candidate for president of the United States. Showalter argues that the move would be a promotion, but when Angelos demands the Lincoln Memorial and the deed to the Reagan Ranch as compensation, Showalter stays put.

April 6 — On opening day, the MIAMI MARLINS and their art-dealer owner, Jeffrey Loria, unveil a hulking statue of Giancarlo Stanton to commemorate his record 13-year, $325 million contract. The monument, which rises above right-center field to match the funky home run sculpture in left-center, embarrasses Stanton until he realizes he can opt out of the tribute after six innings.

April 10 — The TEXAS RANGERS, whose players lost a ludicrous 2,281 days to the disabled list last season, open their home schedule by becoming the first team in major league history to wear uniforms made of Bubble Wrap. Inexplicably, the home white jerseys still say “Texas” instead of “Rangers.”