The other day, I was talking to another person with whom I volunteer for the North Carolina Democratic Party. I commented on how much it HURT...to say the Pledge of Allegiance before all Party functions and meetings...as we all must.

It hurts like hell that I pledge allegiance to a country that hates me and my kind. A country that I love, because of what it is supposed to stand for — yet which does not love me back...and which seems to cheerfully and gleefully REFUSE to live up to those ideals that are supposed to make America the greatest nation on Earth.



I wonder what meaning any of the values we claim to cherish really have. I am discriminated against in just about every aspect of my life. It hurts so much that I want to die...and my government refuses to stand up for me.

My country tis of thee...sweet land of liberty....for everyone but me...

My government says that murder is a crime, yet every day, many of my sisters and brothers are murdered...murdered by proxy. Murdered by discrimination. My government could stand up for us, and protect ALL of her citizens, as she is supposed to do...but she will not.



My government tells me and people like me that we cannot serve in the military. That it is okay to deny us jobs, housing, dignity….and even life itself. Let's face it...in this country, you work….or you die. And what do you suppose happens when you single out a group of people and deny them the ability to economically sustain themselves? They die, that is what happens.

If you come at me with a gun or a knife, it is murder and it is illegal. But if you come at me with economic deprivation...I am every bit as dead. But it’s legal. It is no less murder, though.



My country does not value me, does not love me, does not support me....does not grant me the rights that ought to be mine by birthright. My country treats convicted criminals better than it treats me. In fact, my country forces many of my transgender people into crime...into the underground economy...just in order to survive. A world full of danger, imminent violence, disease, death, encounters with law enforcement...all of which make it even more unlikely we can join the regular economy and hold down traditional, dignified jobs. Yet nobody will stand up for us...because employment discrimination continues to be allowed. Murder by proxy.

My country tells me that it will not protect me against attacks in bathrooms, and in some cases, will try to force me into the place that is most dangerous for me...and most likely to get me attacked, raped and even killed. My country commits outrage after outrage against my transgender family...and I see nobody caring. Because the hurt and the outrage go on, and on, and on...like the Energizer Bunny.

My country tells the CDC they can no longer use the word "transgender." This means they can no longer report on how many of us are attacked in bathrooms and other places, for the mere fact of our being trans. They can no longer report on all the cases (estimated at over 2,000 per year) of trans who experienced medical problems so severe that they required medical attention...because of bathroom avoidance. Problems ranging from UTI's to bladder spasms...to even kidney damage due to dehydration, when we deliberately dehydrate ourselves so that we can avoid bathrooms.

My country tells me that they will count us in the Census...then rescinds that….in effect telling me I do not count. I love this country. I only wish that the love did not hurt as much as it does. And that my country would love me back.