A few weeks ago, the alleged affair between Donald Trump and adult film star Stormy Daniels seemed destined to become just another one of the myriad revelations that would have ended any other administration in American history. However, it appears that Trump's adulterous philandering, a subject about which he has never been reluctant to brag, may develop into a story of legitimate geopolitical import thanks to the astonishing incompetence of Michael Cohen, his lawyer-cum-fixer charged with making this unpleasantness go away.

Last month, Cohen released a statement that read suspiciously like a ransom note in which he claimed that a $130,00 payment made to Daniels in the weeks before the 2016 election came from Cohen's own pocket, and that his client had not reimbursed Cohen "either directly or indirectly" for his troubles. In response to the obvious question of what reason he could have for gifting a suitcase of money to a porn star for reasons unrelated to her affair with his client, Cohen replied, his voice spiritually shaking, "Just because something isn't true doesn't mean that it can't cause you harm or damage. I will always protect Mr. Trump."

One problem, though: Trump never bothered to sign the confidentiality agreement that accompanied the six-figure deal, according to a lawsuit filed last week by Daniels and her attorney, Michael Avenatti. The likeliest explanation for this —other than sloppiness—is that leaving his signature line blank would give the president plausible deniability as to the agreement's very existence. Daniels and Avenatti, though, argue that it means that there is no existing agreement between Daniels and Trump, and that Daniels can speak on the subject as she pleases.

Last week, Avenatti teased a forthcoming 60 Minutes tell-all interview with Daniels, prompting Cohen to go on a whirlwind media tour in which he revealed—in between calling the story a "fake dossier"-like fabrication from the "liberal mainstream media"—that he rustled up the money in question by drawing on his home equity line of credit. Of the many ways in which Trump has asked his various flunkies to debase themselves for his benefit, having a lawyer borrow against his own home might be the most hilarious.

The reason Cohen is twisting himself into such absurd logical knots is because if he acted to buy Daniels' silence and boost his client's shot at winning the White House, the payment is almost certainly an unlawful, unreported campaign contribution. On the other hand, if Trump really didn't know anything about what his lawyer was doing on his behalf—an assertion that strains credulity, of course, but bear with me—Cohen arguably violated his ethnical obligation to keep his client informed. Freelancing is a very bad look for lawyers, who are generally not allowed to make major decisions unless the client signs off first. This is especially true when it comes to making and accepting formal settlement offers of alleged legal liability.

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