Oh, America. Our predilection for fat cruisers and absurd sportbikes ensures that we miss out on some seriously wonderful motorcycles. Sometimes because they’re smaller than our overcompensation would bear, sometimes because we can justify spending over $20,000 on a boat anchor made in Milwaukee, but not half that on an 1980s style superbike fitted with modern components. This is what we’re missing out on; the most desirable motorcycles not sold in America.

2014 Honda VFR800

2014 Honda VFR800

So Shamu turned out to be a white elephant; too much money, too much weight and too little substance. Meanwhile, Europe and Japan are getting a refreshed VFR800. A reasonably priced, super-capable sport tourer, this is the one bike that’s equally at home crossing continents, commuting to work or tearing up a twisty back road. The smaller capacity and lighter weight mean it’s both easier and faster to ride and that it won’t chew through expensive tires halfway through your big summer trip. Honda managed to make this bike genuinely comfortable too.

2014 Honda CB1300

2014 Honda CB1300

Who would want to ride a big, torquey, inline-four muscle bike made with peerless build quality, high quality components and an engine so smooth it makes 100 mph feel like you’re sitting still. Not us, it turns out, but Honda execs in Japan ensured that their dream bike was green lit, regardless of cost. It even comes in a faired version, turning it into a practical, all-day comfortable muscle tourer. Seriously, the CB1300 is an epic ride.

2014 Honda CB400 Super Four

2014 Honda CB400 Super Four

Many of those same traits are present in the CB400 Super Four — classic styling, double cradle frame, inline-four, quality suspension and brakes — just in a smaller, more accessible package. Japan’s license and insurance tiers make premium small bikes like this one possible; it’s very difficult to access larger machines, so a market exists for nice, smaller bikes. Here, large men on Harleys would just scoff at it and waddle back to their be-tassled exercises in chrome excess. That’s a shame, this thing’s spot on the money for the youth and female markets here.

2014 Honda FTR

2014 Honda FTR

If Americans actually used bikes for transportation, then the light, accessible, stylish FTR would sell like Big Gulps. It houses a simple, bulletproof 223cc single-cylinder in a flat track-style package that’s ideal for getting around a city in speedy ease.

2014 Suzuki GS1200SS

2014 Suzuki GS1200SS

Just look at this thing. Basically a modernized version of the original GSX-R1100 from the 1980s, the GS1200SS was made because that original bike was actually illegal to sell in Japan, where max capacity used to be capped at 750cc. This bike allowed riders there to re-live the company’s glory days, just with brakes capable of genuine stopping power and suspension enabling the 462 lbs bus to make it around corners. Here punched out to 1,156cc, the air/oil-cooled inline-four makes just 100 bhp and 70 lb.-ft. of torque, but all the original GSX-R tuning parts will fit, so it’s easy to get it making silly amounts of power. Of all the bikes on the list, this is the one that keeps me up at night.

2014 Suzuki e-Let’s

2014 Suzuki e-Let’s

Practical transportation for one person around a city. That’s what motorcycles do better than their four-wheeled counterparts and it’s what the e-Let’s does better than most motorcycles. What you see is what you get: a little electric scooter with a dorky basket out front. But just think how great this thing would be for shopping trips and errands; it’d cost basically zero dollars to run and you’d have no problem fitting groceries, packages or puppies up front. But why would we want to use one of these to go shopping when we could instead take a 5,000 lbs Escalade replete with chrome rims?

2014 Yamaha SR400

2014 Yamaha SR400

If you follow the custom café racer scene, then you’ll notice that approximately 99.9999% of all foreign builds are based on this bike. Why? Shorn of its…humble bodywork, that air-cooled single is a real looker and the steel tube frame enables easy customization. You can bob it, you can chop it, you can café it or even street track it; basically any modification that involves pipe wrap, gum grips and flat black paint. As a bonus, it already comes with the round headlight, stock. But why would Americans want an affordable, good-looking, classic-style bike? I mean, it only has a single ‘R’ in it’s entire name!

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2014 Yamaha XJR1300

2014 Yamaha XJR1300

When I see poor souls bumbling about on you-know-what cruisers, I can’t help but think that what they really wanted was a retro-style muscle bike like this or the CB1300, but Big Marketing just pulled the wool over their eyes to such a degree that they got a bike without handling, brakes or comfort instead. I mean, this thing gives you easily accessible and equally impressive straight-line performance paired with actual control and capability, all in a package that won’t work to compress your vertebrae over each and every road imperfection. Plus, all the air (and oil)-cooled character you can shake a stick at. It’s even suitably oversized, you know, so you feel manly. Seriously, can someone give us a genuine explanation as to why all Americans don’t ride one of these? One which doesn’t involve cowboys and western horse saddles, please.

2014 Yamaha Tricker

2014 Yamaha Tricker

You know what American kids definitely wouldn’t want?Definitely not the same kids obsessed with skating and fixies and mountain bikes? They definitely wouldn’t want a light, simple, affordable bike that’d be equally at home jumping curbs, tackling a skate park or hitting trails in the mountains. No, all that sounds awful.

2014 Yamaha XT660Z Tenere

2014 Yamaha XT660Z Tenere

Ok, bear with me while I describe the most undesirable bike in the world. It’s got the comfort and luggage-carrying ability of the big ADV bikes, but thanks to an all-up weight of just 460 lbs, it’s actually enjoyable and easy to ride off-road. It’s also equipped with a proven, reliable engine, modern styling and decent suspension and brakes, as well as real off-road wheels and tires. Why would you want something like that when everyone knows you need at least a 636 lbs bike to park outside Starbucks with any sort of self respect?

2014 Kawasaki Versys 1000

2014 Kawasaki Versys 1000

The Ninja 1000 and Z1000 are great bikes, but how does the same engine housed in a taller, more spacious, more distance-capable, more passenger-friendly package sound? Then why we don’t get it here?

2014 Kawasaki Estrella

2014 Kawasaki Estrella

Just look at this pretty little bike and its 250cc, air-cooled single. I’m not even going to attempt sarcasm or humor here, we don’t get this bike in America because motorcycle consumers here think a 600cc supersport is a starter bike and anything under 1,300cc is for wimps. We don’t use bikes as transportation and we insist on holding on the ideal that we’re rugged individualists riding down desert highways in pursuit of adventure even though the vast majority of us live in congested cities and rarely travel at over 55 mph or have the chance to take long trips. We don’t want small bikes even though the average level of riding ability among motorcyclists is in need of improvement. We don’t want affordable bikes because we’re indoctrinated into a lifestyle of debt. Crushing, crippling debt that leaves average young people unable to try anything new, new stuff like getting a bike for practical, city transportation. That’s why we don’t get pretty little bikes like the Estrella or, in fact, most of the other stuff on this list. Humph.

Should Wes put away his violin or do you agree that some things need to change? Out of all the bikes listed, if we could only have one, which should it be?