Obituaries for the Recently Canceled

Matthew Edwards, 41, was canceled early Friday evening after he was seen in his car singing along to “Remix to Ignition.” Mr. Edwards has not watched the R. Kelly documentary, but colleagues say he was aware of its existence and general content. He leaves behind his intersectional feminist wife Julia and two woke children.

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Following a long battle in defense of a controversial Facebook post, Meredith Van Dorn, 20, finally succumbed to cancellation at her home on Thursday night. Ms. Van Dorn was surrounded by friends and loved ones who, upon her cancellation, insisted they always had kind of a weird feeling about her, actually. Ms. Van Dorn’s parents, Peter and Linda, would like their daughter to be remembered for her sweet smile and love of dancing, rather than her provocative feelings about Japanese toilets.

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Nicholas and Louisa Solinas, 47 and 29 respectively, were newlyweds honeymooning in Mykonos when they were canceled for a tasteless Instagram caption. Mr. Solinas worked in private equity; Mrs. Solinas was an interior designer/model/DJ. Family members, though heartbroken, acknowledge it is miraculous that the couple had not been canceled sooner.

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Margaret Arnold has been canceled at the age of 22 for a leaked 2017 email in which she expressed regret that La La Land did not win the Academy Award for Best Picture.

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Simon Mulchfield, 27, was a rising journalist at The Atlantic. On Saturday he canceled himself at his parents’ Westchester home, after re-reading an essay he wrote in his freshman year of college about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Mr. Mulchfield leaves behind his uncanceled fiancé, Shayna Al-Ahmadi, who is fluent in both Hebrew and Arabic and whose undergraduate essays have been read before Congress. Ms. Al-Ahmadi remains grateful for their time together and notes that if Mr. Mulchfield had not canceled himself, she absolutely would have done so.

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After many close brushes with cancellation, Jeremy Warble, a 30-year-old bartender and drummer, was canceled on Friday after asking exactly zero questions on a Tinder date. Mr. Warble’s earlier, narrowly evaded cancellations include: a culturally appropriative Halloween costume, repeatedly DMing a woman without receiving a response, and a conspicuous silence on social media during the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearings.

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Morton Alan Cole, 58, was canceled suddenly on Wednesday morning, to the shock of all who knew him. Mr. Cole, a revered attorney at the American Civil Liberties Union, spent his weekends reading books by Roxane Gay and offering pro-bono legal counsel. The cause of Mr. Cole’s cancellation has been kept private at his family’s request.

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On Wednesday, three-day-old Lily Hobbes became the youngest person ever to be canceled, when her father read to her from Michelle Obama’s memoir Becoming and she immediately started crying.

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Katharine Halloran was a well-liked medical school student at Columbia University with a lifelong passion for snowboarding. Ms. Halloran was canceled in a tragic accident on Thursday, after retweeting an article with a link to a different article by an author who once retweeted a known bigot. She is 24.

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Bernard Dubois, a retired physics teacher and WWII veteran, was canceled peacefully in his sleep at the age of 96 while mumbling aloud during a very racist dream. He joins his canceled wife Esther Marie Dubois, 95, who last Thanksgiving expressed a strong opinion about vegans.

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Amy Rosenzweig, 28, was canceled Friday for remarking, in a Bushwick coffee shop, that she admires Ivanka Trump’s hair. There will be no memorial service.