The American singer-songwriter, 45, on his adopted home’s best restaurants, coffee and hostel – and why you should think twice before taking a northern lights tour

I first went to Reykjavik for the Airwaves music festival (icelandairwaves.is) in 2011. I went back a couple of months later to record my second album, Pale Green Ghosts. After that I decided I just didn't want to leave.

Reykjavik has a mixture of southern and northern mentality. There's a laid-back, relaxed attitude, but also the feeling things are going to get done.

There is a lot going on in the city but you can find your own space. I love the fact that there are small shops to explore and cosy cafes to relax in.

The first thing I would do is head to Mokka (mokka.is) for a coffee. It's the place that is on the cover of Pale Green Ghosts. As soon as you open the door you can smell them making waffles. Mokka opened in 1958 and is the oldest coffee shop in Reykjavik – and it hasn't changed. A lot of locals, and artists, hang out there. It's a great place to start and get a feel for the city.

Most people consider a great view to be from up high. If that's you, the best place is the top of the Hallgrímskirkja, the Lutheran church that stands at the top of Skólavörðustígur. One of my favourite views is from backstage at the Harpa concert hall (harpa.is). You look out over Faxaflói Bay, and to the north you can see Mount Esja. When it's low tide I also like to walk over to the Grotta lighthouse on the Seltjarnarnes peninsula: it's serene and peaceful.

The Kex Hostel Reykjavik (kexhostel.is) will change your mind about what a hostel can be. It is housed in a former biscuit factory in the 101 area and is decorated with salvaged materials. It has a cool, old-style gym and hosts live music nights.

I eat out a lot, so my top three Reykjavik restaurants, in order, are: Bergsson (bergsson.is), the place I go to the most. It's owned by Pórir Bergsson. He does a spinach lasagne that I've sometimes had four times in a week. He also makes incredible soups – try the parsnip or the sweet potato soup. The Grillmarkaðurinn, or grill market (grillmarkadurinn.is), has a spiral staircase that leads downstairs; it's quite beautiful and makes me feel like I'm in the middle of New York City. It's great for fish – and is where I head if I want to go all out to impress somebody. The fish is also amazing at Snaps bistro (snaps.is) in the Hotel Odinsve. It also does a wonderful chicken caesar salad. That might sound boring – because we've all had a chicken caesar – but this is special, the chicken is succulent.

Try a carrot cake break. You can find it all over the place but I won't eat it anywhere but from Garðurinn (Klapparstígur 37), a vegetarian cafe off Laugavegur in the middle of town.

You'll be in heaven when you visit the antique store Fríða Frænka (Vesturgata 3, +354 551 4730). I hear it's not going to be there forever, so don't miss out.

When I want to escape I drive to Vik. It only takes two hours and you'll find gorgeous black sand beaches and an incredibly beautiful church on a hill – there is usually mist surrounding it. On the way to Vik is the Skógasafn, or Skógar museum (skogasafn.is), which shows you how Icelandic people used to live. If you're lucky, the founder Pórður Tómasson, an elderly gentleman with a shock of white hair, may even show you around himself.

Icelanders love to speak English. Their English is a joy to hear because of how colloquial and idiomatic it is, but they appreciate your efforts with Icelandic. They know how hard it is for outsiders.

I'd think carefully about taking whale watching or northern lights tours.

I'm not saying steer clear but … Icelanders have ways of figuring out if it is likely you'll see either, but you need to decide for yourself whether you're willing to take the chance. There are no guarantees.

John Grant's Pale Green Ghosts is out now. He tours Australia in January and will be in the UK in March