One name Philadelphia Eagles fans can cross off their free-agency wish lists is 49ers cornerback Chris Culliver. Go ahead… cross it off. I know he’s on a lot of lists. Get out your pens… cross him off.

‘Hang on,’ you’re saying, ‘did you watch the last quarter of the season?’

I did. I saw the footballs flying through the air. I saw them landing in the hands of opposing receivers. 18 of them went for more than 40 yards (the most given up by any team in the league). 72 of them went for more than 20 (the most given up by any team in the league).

‘Why, then,’ says you, ‘would the Eagles ignore a talented corner that seems to fit their scheme?’

He’s a jerk.

‘Lot’s of players are jerks.’

Fair. But Chris Culliver is the brand of jerk that Eagles owner Jeff Lurie won’t pay to play football.

In laying out my case, I first asked myself if I wanted to discuss Culliver’s incidents chronologically or in order of egregiousness (note: this already bodes poorly.)

January 29, 2013 (I went with chronological): Culliver uses the lofty stage of pre-Super Bowl media week to give us his take on gays in the NFL. “We don’t have any gays on the team. They gotta get up outta here if they do. Can’t be with that sweet stuff.” What about a retired player? Can retired players engage in any… sweet stuff, Chris? “Yeah, come out 10 years later after that.” Ah. Thanks.

Insensitive? Sure. But also dumb enough to say this as a football player in San Francisco: a town with one of America’s largest gay communities.

April 18, 2013: Fresh off of his apology and team appointed sensitivity training for that… Culliver posts this to instagram. If you don’t want to click, let me summarize: He’s not terribly nice to women (also, rather than calling them women, he opts for a term with a little more… nuance.)

Insensitive? Sure. But also dumb enough to post this to your own instagram.

Now, at this point, Culliver suffers a sever knee injury and misses all of the 2013 season. I don’t think the injury is a major factor in considering adding Culliver, but it certainly doesn’t help.

It does, however, give us nearly a solid year of Culliver-free headlines.

But then he gets healthy…

March 27, 2014: More insensitive remarks? Don’t be silly; He’s had a year off to prepare. This time Culliver gets arrested. For allegedly hitting a bicyclist with his Mustang, attempting to flee, and, in the process, hitting a witness’ car. A search of his car also turns up a pair of brass knuckles (which are apparently illegal to own.)

May 8, 2014: Civil charges are filed, in connection with the hit-and-run which claim that Culliver lashed out at the witness who was attempting to use his car to block Culliver from fleeing the scene. The suit, about which you can read here, asserts that Culliver was verbally abusive and used a racial-slur while attempting to convince the witness to move his car before police arrived (personal note: I find verbal abuse and racial slurs to be almost entirely unconvincing.)

Culliver’s legal issues have yet to be resolved. And any league-issued punishment that may stem from these incidents will likely be the problem of whatever team signs him this offseason.

But let me be clear: It’s not the fear of any punishment Roger Goodell might hand down that will cause the Eagles to stay miles away from Chris Culliver.

It’s Chris Culliver.

“Culture wins football. Culture will beat scheme every day.” – Chip Kelly

And perhaps, more than that, it’s the Philadelphia Eagles.

14. The number of Philadelphia Eagles who’ve been arrested since 1999. Only the Cardinals, Rams, and Texans (who don’t really count because they didn’t exist until 2002) have had fewer. There are 10 teams in the league with at least twice that number. The Vikings lead the charge with 46.

It’s not happenstance when one franchise has 46 arrests over a 15 year period and another has 14. It’s the product of culture. It’s fundamental. It informs that organization’s hiring of decision makers and, thus, informs the kinds of decisions that organization makes. For the Eagles, that decision maker is Chip Kelly. And he has this to say, “Culture wins football. Culture will beat scheme every day.”

The culture right now in Philadelphia is about focus and intelligence. About adding college graduates (six of the Eagles seven picks in 2014 have diplomas.) About adding leaders (2013 draftee Bennie Logan wore #18 at LSU… a number the Tigers give to the player that best embodies success and selflessness.) About jettisoning players that don’t fit that mold.

“But Riley Coop-”

October 20, 2013; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly checking out the wind with throwing grass up in the air prior to the game against the Dallas Cowboys at Lincoln Financial Field. Mandatory Credit: Jeffrey Pittenger

Stop! The Riley Cooper situation is different and you know it. One: He was already an Eagle. And there’s a difference between what you do with your own player-in-trouble and deciding to actively seek out players who are in trouble and bring them into your organization.

Two: Cooper’s incident was an isolated one and not, like in Culliver’s case a series of events that begin to paint a picture of a person. Three: Cooper apologized like Culliver… and has lived up to that apology. Four: it’s been talked to death.

Culliver is 6’0” and nearly 200 pounds. He’s proven he can play at this level and is a fit with what Billy Davis and the Eagles like to do in the secondary. He fills a major need for a team whose corners struggled mightily in 2014. He will be a cheaper option than top free agent corner (and potential Eagle target) Byron Maxwell. And yet…

The Eagles won’t touch him. Not even with one of those newly extended NFL goal-posts.