This soapbox will mainly be me talking about myself. Fair warning. But hopefully, some universal lessons can be learned from my experiences.

I broke a club. I hate to admit it, but I did.

Not just one club. I broke two. Excuse me while I eulogize…

In memory of my Titleist Vokey 58* wedge: While I was home in California, playing in my home club’s Member-Member with my dad. A tournament that I have written about before (where I talk about how calm and at ease I was feeling. Oops.). While making an absolute mess of the par 3 17th hole, I slammed my wedge into the hard ground 3 or 4 times thus warping the shaft. I didn’t even realize it until the next day.

In memory of my 3-wood shaft, dead on July 28th, 2019: After what felt like the 100th pull hook, I tomahawked my 3-wood and cleanly decapitated the club. I didn’t even feel bad. I actually murmured ‘Good’ under my breath as I witnessed the shaft snap.

The habit of club and expletive throwing was something I thought I had overcome during college. Especially now because, at best, I am a casual amateur tournament player. That anger associated with playing golf poorly came out yet again. I asked myself ‘Why?’. There’s no point in getting that angry while playing golf. It doesn’t make you play better, hit better shots, or make you feel better whatsoever.

I think I lost sight of what the game of golf is: The constant pursuit of unattainable perfection. In my US Open piece, I talked about how a Buddhist monk could see golf as a form of meditation or yoga. I don’t think that either practice approves of getting angry and breaking your clubs.

It is when we look at golf as more than a game, that we find the parallels between golf and life. You will hit great shots and you will make terrible decisions and mistakes. You will get good and bad breaks. What matters in the end isn’t hitting the right shot, but how you deal with the bad shots and bad breaks. The first rule of golf should be to never react with anger. To play golf, you must accept that you are going to hit bad shots and make wrong decisions; no matter how good of an idea it seemed at the time.

One must fall in love with their bad swings. What fun would golf be if you hit the correct shot every time? (Probably a lot, at first). The fun in golf comes from the moments of brilliance and escaping from the danger your last bad shot put you in. You will never play your best golf if you are afraid of hitting a bad shot. The possibility of such must be accepted. The key is having the confidence to hit the shot you want. And if you don’t, you must be content with that.

This is all easier written than done. Much like meditation and yoga, these are skills that can take a lifetime to learn. It feels horrible to disappoint yourself and even more embarrassing to do it in front of your playing partners. But they will respect you more for laughing it off. No one feels for the guy who yells “F*CK SH*T GOD DAMN IT” and breaks another club.

I need to remember what Jack Nicklaus said. A quote I used as a mantra when I was playing my best golf…

Enjoying golf means enjoying failure and enjoying the process of becoming better; as a person and as a golfer. Life is too short to get upset over such things. Take a deep breath, grab another ball from your bag, and try to hit the best shot you can. You only get one chance, in golf and in life.