Photo: SHOWTIME

What’s going on in Twin Peaks: The Return? Who knows! But what we do know is that the many surrealist misadventures of David Lynch’s magnum opus are bound to make for some fun alcohol — or caffeine — shenanigans as the 18-part event unwinds, so much so that your friends at Vulture decided to create a handy drinking game to accompany the rest of the episodes. For best results, consume mass quantities of cherry pie beforehand and drink up. It’s what Mr. Jackpots would’ve wanted.

Angelo Badalamenti music cue! Marvel at that virtuoso smoky jazz and take a sip.

A returning character makes their revival debut. Give them a once-over and finish your drink.

We’re transported into the Red Room. Drink!

Coffee is being consumed. Keep drinking.

Establishing shot of the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department … Take a sip.

… and someone brings up how Sheriff Truman continues to be sick. Toast to Michael Ontkean and drink.

Another ominous number is introduced for us to remember. Write down the number. Then drink.

Dale Cooper’s doppelgänger appears and you have no idea what to call him. Evil Cooper? Coopelganger? Bad Cooper? Booper? Either way, chug your drink.

GORDON COLE STARTS SHOUTING. FINISH YOUR DRINK, SONNY, BECAUSE IT’S GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN.

Garmonbozia sighting. If you can muster up a sip after seeing that, take two. You deserve it.

Location change! We’re in South Dakota. Sip.

Location change! Now we’re in Nevada. Sip.

Another location change! Back in Twin Peaks. Finish your drink.

We get a vision of Frank Silva’s BOB. Marvel at the current state of technology and take another sip.

You think, for a brief moment, that David Bowie will actually appear on the show with all of this Phillip Jeffries talk. Drink to that.

Some killer music is going on at the Roadhouse. Chug for the song’s opening ten seconds.

Dougie/Cooper sees a floating image or color. Hellooooooo, drink in his honor.