It's near-impossible to keep up with the left's policies and etiquette on gender. So, the Trump administration is choosing not to play that game at all. Instead, they're proposing a "radical" new idea: people with dangles are boys, people with hoo-hahs are girls.

Crazy, I know:

The Trump administration is weighing a change that would require individuals to identify as male or female based on their genitalia at birth, tightening gender definitions that had offered more leeway to transgender and gender non-conforming individuals. The Department of Health and Human Services proposed in a memo obtained by the news outlet that government agencies adopt a definition of gender that is determined "on a biological basis that is clear, grounded in science, objective and administrable." The change would would base sex on the genitals a person is born with. "The sex listed on a person’s birth certificate, as originally issued, shall constitute definitive proof of a person’s sex unless rebutted by reliable genetic evidence," the memo states, according to The Times.

Fancy words like "objective" must seem foreign to the modern left. Seeing as lefties rely solely on emotional appeals and whatever bizarre gobbledygook is trending at the time. The administration is basing classifications on an observable, scientific metric for a change.

Who could blame the administration for this move? I'm sure they would prefer to avoid the logistical nightmare of trying to keep up with fickle gender-benders' ever-changing identities. Whether this former guy is now a non-binary genderqueer or that former girl now thinks she's a deer from Jupiter. Instead, they'll just keep things simple.

Undoubtedly, the left will call this an act of bigotry akin to the Holocaust. "It's only putting Mike Pence and his battery charger one step closer to the gay's gonads!" In reality, the administration is just acknowledging a simple truth: your downstairs parts dictate your man or womanhood, not your whims.

While we're on the subject: