** 11/10/15 update — there is a mass resignation planned for this Saturday in Salt Lake City **

Editor’s Note: “Joe” was in the middle of his five-year term as Bishop in the Mormon Church when I interviewed him as part of the Dennett-LaScola study of non-believing clergy. I’m very grateful now that he’s sharing his thoughts and concerns about the church’s harsh new policies on Mormons in same-sex marriages.

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By Joe, Former Mormon Bishop

The new Mormon church policy that labels members in same-sex marriages as apostates and excludes their children from church membership is one of the most significant in many years.

It will have huge implications for the church though it only applies to a very small minority of members. How the church treats its LGBT members will be an issue as long as Mormons continue to have children. Some of those kids will be LGBT.

While I certainly was not expecting the church to change its definition of marriage, this policy change about children came out of nowhere. The church tried to moderate its tone in the past few months and has even taken progressive action in areas such as housing, health care, and employment for LGBT people (see Utah Compromise), which would not have happened without church involvement. A recent talk at BYU by a high level authority addressed “fairness for all” when balancing religious freedoms with other rights. That was a huge step forward. A respected Apostle of the church openly expressed his view that elected officials such as Kim Davis in Kentucky should follow the laws despite religious objections.

Now, bishops and regional leaders (stake presidents) are instructed to hold a disciplinary hearing to decide on excommunication for any member who is in a gay marriage. Previously, such hearings were at the discretion of the bishops, but that has ended. While crimes like attempted murder, child sexual abuse, spouse abuse and rape are still at the bishop’s discretion and do not require a mandatory council, gay marriage is now considered one of the most egregious sins in the church. Discipline for a gay person engaged in promiscuous sex with multiple partners is at the bishop’s discretion but if that gay person is in a loving, committed, legal same-sex marriage then the bishop would have no choice but to hold a council.

And the children? The policy states that the child of someone in a gay marriage is not eligible for an infant blessing in the church and can’t be baptized until they are 18 years old and only if they denounce their gay parent’s marriage and then only with the approval of the church’s highest body.

Normally children are baptized in the church when they are eight – the “age of accountability.” Mormon scriptures see this baptism as essential. If a parent does not have it done, the parent is held accountable in the eyes of God. Mormons spend time and resources preparing children for baptism. Children are taught that they need the guidance of the Holy Ghost when they turn eight to help them navigate life and make wise choices. But to children of gay couples, the church is effectively saying, “Don’t worry about it, you can receive the baptism and confirmation later and only if you denounce your parent’s gay marriage.” To give perspective, it would not be acceptable if a Mormon parent in a straight marriage was asked to delay their child’s baptism, saying, “Don’t worry about it. It will be all right. God will take care of the loose ends.”

While it is true that there is a similar policy relating to parents who practice polygamy, this exists because it was so difficult to remove polygamy from the church when it had once been an essential church doctrine. But in this case, a policy is being enforced in which homosexuality and gay marriage have never been accepted in the church. It doesn’t seem to fit Article of Faith #2 which says that Mormons are accountable for their own sins and not for “Adam’s transgression.” Mormons believe this so strongly that they don’t believe in “original sin,” yet they are now creating something like it for the children of gay couples.

Amid the confusion and outrage as the story hit the media, an Apostle explained how this policy is actually like the polygamy policy. His statement put the issue to rest for many who think that when an Apostle speaks, “the thinking is done.”

However many active and devout members were not consoled by the Apostle’s words.

I am seeing people who would never openly dissent who are now considering showing opposition to this policy change. For instance, they are:

Planning to write letters to church headquarters Holding candlelight vigils in various places across the world Weeping and unable to bring themselves to church Resigning from their callings or positions in the church. Telling their local leaders how they feel Resigning from the church completely (Editor’s note — Joe was right about that — see above) Speaking up in class

But many simply bite their tongues because the church teaches obedience to church leaders and allows no criticism no matter what.

Families who have gay children are very upset about this. I have even heard of bishops who are going to ignore this policy change or ask to be released from their position as Bishop. It has the potential to be extremely disrupting to the church. Still, for most members and local leaders, the Apostle’s clarification will be enough to pacify them, especially if they are ignorant about gay issues or don’t have gay family members or friends.

As for what I think?

I think this policy will do significant damage to everyone in the church one way or another.

Nobody will win with this policy change. It’s not loving or kind even when they say it protects the kids of gay parents. Mormons also allow an unmarried heterosexual couple with children to have them blessed and named at church as infants and then baptized at age eight, even though those children would hear that their parents were sinning. So the “protecting kids” idea falls flat. The evidence points to a policy of putting a scarlet letter on married gays and their children. Mormons are taught that “God is no respecter of persons” but that apparently does not apply to children of gay members.

This will have a chilling effect on the church’s missionary program, as the public starts to see Mormonism as a fringe group like the Westboro Baptist Church.

For my atheist and agnostic friends who question why gay people would want to be Mormon, I think you need to consider a few things. Many of us find deep meaning and purpose in our communities. We enjoy the fellowship and the traditions. It is our spiritual home and language, straight of gay. While LGBT members may understand that gay marriage is not accepted, they appreciate many other parts of the religion and find it nourishing. Just as being gay is an important part of their identity, so too is being Mormon. Having either stripped away, ignored, or marginalized is unacceptable to them.

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Bio: “Joe” isa former Mormon Bishop who prefers to remain anonymous and says of himself: “Though in the past I have treaded and still some days venture across the line into agnosticism, a liberal faith seems to be my most comfortable home. I like reaching out to religious people, agnostics and atheists and finding common ground and supporting equal rights for everyone.”

>>>>>>>Photo Credits: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Temple_Square,_Salt_Lake_City,_1899_retouched.jpg#/media/File:Temple_Square,_Salt_Lake_City,_1899_retouched.jpg

“Were a gay and happy family wagon” by Melinda – originally posted to Flickr as Children in Wagon (Part 2). Licensed under CC BY 2.0 via Commons – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Were_a_gay_and_happy_family_wagon.jpg#/media/File:Were_a_gay_and_happy_family_wagon.jpg

“First Presidency and Twelve Apostles 1898” by Charles Roscoe Savage – Immediate image source: C. R. Savage collection Brigham Young University, call number PH 2749. Licensed under Public Domain via Commons – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:First_Presidency_and_Twelve_Apostles_1898.jpg#/media/File:First_Presidency_and_Twelve_Apostles_1898.jpg