Look, as regular viewers of Project Runway and The Rachel Zoe Project already well and truly understand, there is a fine line between embodying haute couture and becoming, in the immortal words of Tim Gunn, “a pterodactyl out of a gay Jurassic Park.” In Varg Vikernes’ promo shoot for the upcoming (actually quite excellent!) third post-prison Burzum joint Umskiptar, the artist formerly known as Count Grishnackh dances a lot closer to the latter than you’d presume a pagan Odinist would prefer to. Vikernes, in all likelihood, would greatly benefit from Brad Goreski’s Born to be Brad or a season of What Not to Wear. Alas, even if we forwarded him copies of both he’d probably label the gift — much like the 2011 Breivik massacre — part of a Jewish conspiracy and turn the package to aske faster than you can say dunkelheit.

Then again, perhaps Vikernes is just playing with expectations and kitsch here. I’ve interlaced a few pictures from my recent visit to the Norway Pavilion of Epcot Center’s World Showcase to allow Decibel readers to make up their own minds on that point. Also, if you want to read about young Varg eating ice cream in chainmail, buy our special Black Metal issue. Finally, because every runway show needs a thumpin’ soundtrack, I’m embedding the Metal Inquisition Varg/Andrew W.K. mash-up. The red carpet begins after the jump…