Wanna do your laundry like a pro? You’ve come to the right place.

Step the First- Lights? Colors? Delicates?!? Myths, every one of em! Disregard whatever those stupid tags say and just shove everything into the washing machine together. Add soap and fire it up on whatever its middle setting is called.

Step the Second- To dry, chuck everything into the dryer and set it to ‘on’. You’ll know you’ve found the ‘on’ setting with the interior is hot enough to sear exposed flesh.

Step the Third- Let it rest for another day or two to wrinkle up properly then throw it in a pile in your bedroom to finish.