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A folk opera retelling of the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice got a whopping 14 nominations for this year’s Tony Awards, more than any other musical—but the hip-hop retelling of the life of Alexander Hamilton still holds the record. In other words, putting an unexpected genre on top of a work of history, literature, or folklore is guaranteed Tony gold. If you’re ready to get into the no-doubt-lucrative game of stage musicals, rejoice: we’ve got your plot and concept ready to go, and all you need to do is have a name.

Just find your first initial in column A, your middle initial in column B, and your last initial in column C, and plug the results into our musical-development format. If you’re Andrew Lloyd Webber, for instance—and really, who’s more in need of ideas—you would look up “A” in column A, “L” in column B, and “W” in column C, with the result “It’s an all-singing, all-dancing gender-bent retelling of Death in Venice that takes place in the Michigan Womyn’s Festival.” You’re welcome, Andrew, and don’t say we never did anything for you.