“I want a girlfriend with big breasts.”

“Eww! I don’t like hairy women!”

“I’m not attracted to fat girls.”

“You have no arse.”

“I like thick and curvy women, not skinny girls.”

Did any of these upset you? Been said to your face? Yes I know, it hurts. Being told you’re not good enough for someone is never pretty. I still remember being rejected by the first boy I ever liked. I was 14. He said he wasn’t into bony girls. I never forgot that. I resented him for years and justified it by calling him shallow. You see, I had a severe condition of hypermetabolism during my childhood which left me looking like a walking skeleton. It got so bad, even the bones in my chest became clearly visible. Looking in the mirror was painful. Shopping for clothes was painful. Just existing in that body was painful.

It wasn’t until I was 20 that my body started looking vaguely feminine. What got me thinking was that no matter how my body looked, there were people who found me ugly and people who found me beautiful. I could be looking like an absolute mess with acne and baggy clothes and still have a boy come up to me and call me pretty. I could be looking like supermodel in a cocktail dress and heels and still get rejected. It took me a long time to stop blaming myself for these rejections and start to see them for what they really are. Human nature.

We humans go after partners that we find attractive. It’s impossible for a single human being to be attracted to every single body type out there. Beauty is subjective. If I wouldn’t date someone to whom I’m not attracted to, then how can I hate someone who isn’t attracted to me? That’s when I realized the source of my resentment. It was me. I was so insecure of my body that a single comment broke me. I had allowed my self worth to be defined by others, instead seeing the beauty in my flaws.

It’s very easy to demonize people who are open about what they want, but at the end of the day, they aren’t doing anything wrong. We don’t get to choose who we are attracted to or who we fall in love with. You aren’t any less beautiful because someone rejected you. You’re just not their type. Accept it and move on.

Now, while we don’t get to choose who we are attracted to, we DO get to choose whether we want to be a jerk or not. Yes, I am looking at you, body shamers. Not being attracted to someone and being a jerk are two very different things. You don’t get to mock/insult/abuse/belittle someone because their body doesn’t appeal to you. Sadly, many have a brain too small to comprehend this.

“I’m not body shaming, but I don’t support an unhealthy life.”

There it is. The infamous dialogue of every body shamer I’ve met, particularly the social media warriors. Their desperate need to seem noble while putting down others is laughable. How many times have we heard this ‘health’ argument? Countless. I can guarantee you that 99.9% people who say this don’t give a damn about your health. They just use this ‘health’ excuse to cover up the fact that they are shallow douchebags who like to pick on people who are different from them. The solution? Ignore them. Don’t give them the power to break you over a Facebook comment.

To conclude, not all bodies are beautiful to everyone, but every body is beautiful to someone. Even so, your opinion about yourself shouldn’t solely depend on how attractive others find you. All they have over you are empty words. You know who really has the power to make you feel ugly? You.

What are your opinions on this? Is there any topic in particular you’d like me to write about? Let me know in the comments!

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