ANYONE coming to the UK will need to demonstrate a respectable ‘backswagger’ and ‘caper’, say MPs.

A cross-party group has insisted that anyone hoping to play a part in British life must at least be a competent ‘foreman’ or ‘bagman’ in a Morris dancing set.

Tory backbencher Denys Finch-Hatton said: “It would be sufficient for a prospective migrant to strap on a baldric and give us a jig. I don’t think that’s asking too much.

“It’s hard to imagine how someone who can’t execute the most basic of backswaggers could ever truly integrate into British society.”

The Morris dancing proposal has met with warm support from the Home Office, who believe it could make policing the UK’s borders far simpler.

A spokesman said: “Demanding that migrants do a Morris dance would reduce migration by close to 90%.

“Britain’s okay to live in, but it’s not worth strapping bells on your back and prancing around like a twat.”