BOULDER — Days after she was attacked in the basement of a Longmont home, Michelle Wilkins sat in a hospital bed holding the lifeless body of the daughter she planned to name Aurora.

Wilkins clothed her, read to her and held her tight.

But despite the comfort of her daughter’s spirit, the reality of Aurora’s cold skin began to settle in. Wilkins suddenly felt the anguish of a mother unable to see her daughter’s eyes, her smile or even her first breath.

“I did all the things that a mom would want to do,” Wilkins said in an interview Tuesday. “But knowing that she was only present in spirit and not physically was a really painful thing to grasp.”

VIDEO: See Michelle Wilkins’ interview

Wilkins, 27, says she still feels Aurora’s love and strength every day, including on Tuesday when her attacker, Dynel Lane, was convicted by a Boulder County jury of attempted first-degree murder and other charges.

Lane faces up to 120 years in prison for the March 18 attack in which Wilkins’ 7-month-old fetus was cut from her womb. Wilkins said the conviction was a major step forward and that her recovery hinged on the outcome of Lane’s trial.

“No planning could be done until this chapter of my life was over,” she said. “Everything was kind of hanging on this week.”

While her physical wounds have healed, Wilkins said she continues to suffer from post-traumatic stress and bouts of uncontrollable sadness. She avoids television out of fears that a violent show will send her mind back to the horrors of the attack.

Wilkins still has unanswered questions about why Lane lured her through a Craigslist ad peddling maternity clothes into an encounter that nearly ended her life.

“I’m still really in disbelief of her actions,” Wilkins said. “But I don’t need her to apologize because I don’t think I’ll ever get that from her.”

Wilkins says she looks forward to Lane’s sentencing April 29, when she finally can address her assailant. While she has forgiven Lane, that doesn’t mean she’s not completely at peace.

“This trial has allowed me to be more in touch with some of my grittier emotions, like anger,” she said. “Knowing today, going into that courtroom and seeing her, I finally felt like I’d reached a comfortable place in myself where I felt like my anger was valid.”

Wilkins has moved back to Boulder after leaving to be with her parents in North Carolina and Virginia following the attack. She says Colorado has been a place of healing where she has found solace on hikes and through her love of pottery.

“It’s hard to make a plan for where things go from here,” she said.

In her room, Wilkins has an altar created in Aurora’s memory. It serves as a way to honor her daughter, fathered by Wilkins’ former partner Dan, and ensure that she is never forgotten.

“I think it’s probably a fear of any parent who’s lost a child that they will forget and that they won’t think of them daily,” Wilkins said. “But as the days and weeks and months have gone by, it’s effortless for her to come into my thoughts. And I know she will be with me forever.”

Wilkins says it’s too soon to think about trying to have another child, but she says doctors have given her good chances of getting pregnant again despite damage to her uterus.

“Dan and I were both taken by surprise when she decided to come into our lives,” Wilkins said. “She changed both of our perspectives about what we thought we wanted — who we thought we were — and continues to do so. But she definitely opened up an aspect of myself that I didn’t know was there, which is the aspect of motherhood.”

“I may one day,” Wilkins said of wanting to have another child. “But for now, it’s a really hard question to answer.”

Wilkins expressed thanks for support from the thousands of people who have reached out since the attack.

During Tuesday’s interview, Wilkins was flanked by her parents and the dispatcher who took her 911 call. Jurors in the case offered Wilkins hugs before leaving the courthouse grounds.

“We lost our first, and so far only, granddaughter,” said Mark Wilkins, Michelle’s father.

“I think Michelle has something great ahead of her,” he explained. “I can’t wait to see what it is.”

Jesse Paul: 303-954-1733 or jpaul@denverpost.com

Staff writer Jordan Steffen contributed to this report.