HAMILTON, OH—Explaining that the child had casually brought up the name several times throughout the evening, dinner party guests confirmed Thursday that the 7-year-old daughter of one of their work colleagues was evidently under the impression that everybody knows who the fuck Aunt Dee-Dee is. “Right out of nowhere the kid just comes up to me and starts going on and on about some Aunt Dee-Dee, and I have absolutely no goddamn idea who the hell she’s talking about,” said guest Steve Cooper, adding that the second-grader talked to him at length about a pool near Aunt Dee-Dee’s apartment as if he had any clue who this person is or where she lives, and at one point even went so far as to ask him if he liked the color of Aunt Dee-Dee’s car. “Honestly, I’m really not sure if Dee-Dee is her initials or just a nickname or what. This kid mentioned her five fucking times, and I got literally zero information out of the conversation. Then she asked me if Dee-Dee is my favorite aunt and when I’m going to her house. She’s not my fucking aunt, kid.” Guests were able to confirm later in the evening that they had learned Aunt Dee-Dee has pretty, curly hair like a princess and sometimes wears glasses.

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