Struggling to come to terms with being gay as a child is by no means an experience unique to those who grow up religious. For as long as being straight remains the dominant sexuality (and, despite the best efforts of the “homosexual agenda”, it looks like that’ll forever be the case), being gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans or queer still means working out what it means to be something other, something different; a journey of self-acceptance we all embark on if we can.

If you happen to be born into one of the Abrahamic religions, however, you are presented with a unique obstacle on that path. You’re not just dealing with friends, family, and a society that continues to be far from accepting, but have the added complication of God – who hasn’t traditionally been understood to be the greatest of queer allies – to contend with too.

You’d be forgiven for thinking after the last few weeks of reporting about the Parkfield community school protests that the rampant, homophobic bigotry that clearly is flourishing among these parents (and that’s what it is, be in no doubt), is unique to the more conservative corners of Islam. That’s certainly the impression some would like to give. But prejudice against LGBT people is no more the preserve of Islam alone than of Moses, or men with beards with a penchant for preaching from a pulpit. Of course the parents who have dragged their children from lessons and stood outside the school gates to protest against the “promotion of gay and transgender lifestyles” (read: basic relationship education) must be challenged, but to do so successfully, in a way that creates long-term change, people from all faiths must make this their fight as well.

While our attention has been focused on Birmingham, many have forgotten that just a few months ago the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community in Britain made the very same arguments as well. Meanwhile groups such as Christian Concern champion those of their faith who turn up on national TV to claim that inclusive education is basically akin to the devil incarnate. The Christian institute calls it “one-sided propaganda”. Take extra care in reading the reports coming from Birmingham, and it becomes clear there are Christian parents protesting as well.

Focusing specifically on Muslims while wilfully ignoring the pattern of behaviour that exists across religious communities does no service to anyone, and is damaging to the cause of equality. The very basis of the LGBT rights movement should be that it’s intersectional – freedom for just some is not freedom at all. Should the focus on views in parts of the Muslim community only be fruitful and change opinions, where does that leave Jewish and Christian kids?

Even the chances of that seem farfetched. The reality is that members of an already marginalised religious group, who feel they face greater scrutiny and criticism than others, will feel under attack and refuse to change their ways. Ammunition is given to far-right figures who are already using this serious incident as an opportunity to further their own political aims, leaving the most grievously affected by the Parkfield saga – young LGBT Muslims – in their wake. If we’re going to take on the homophobia that religion spawns, we should be taking it on regardless of where the bigotry springs from.

To do this will require the vocal support of the more progressive members of religious communities who, all too often, believe being “accepting” is good enough, while also finding it acceptable to look away from the prejudice within their ranks. Of course, religious beliefs are complex, long-held and faith-based – for those who interpret scripture literally from any religion or sect, a simple argument based on logic or a modern understanding of morality is unlikely to win anyone over. But to truly take on dangerous and outdated ideas, more is required, specifically dialogue and introspection. Rabbis, imams, clergy and straight community leaders have much more weight than most LGBT people of faith.

Consider the way a senior Orthodox rabbi was treated after speaking out in support of his LGBT congregants in the summer of 2017. “The entire revolution of feminism and even homosexuality in our society… is a fantastic development for humanity,” said Rabbi Joseph Dweck, during a 90-minute lecture at a synagogue in north London. Ultra-conservative rabbis across the world – including many here in Britain – labelled him “dangerous”, “poisonous” and “corrupt from beginning to end”. I’ll refrain from going into the politics of his punishment, instead what struck me most at the time was how quiet ordinary, liberal-minded members of British Jewry were. I heard few Jewish voices explicitly defend him. An opportunity was missed, once again.

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If progressive religious leaders and congregants at all levels take on this responsibility, our criticism will be bolder. It’s not an assault on one religious minority if ours is a unified effort by interfaith groups to tackle homophobia across the board. A taskforce comprising senior figures from all major religions would be a start; explicit, welcoming celebrations of LGBT people in modern and moderate religious communities – not just acceptance – should follow. Younger queer people growing up in more conservative denominations would surely hear, and take comfort.

I see many parallels between my LGBT and religious identities: both parts of my life place great emphasis on community, take pride in their history and culture, and dance whenever they can. Both provide me with comfort and guidance. Hopefully one day, others will celebrate these similarities as well.

• Michael Segalov is a contributing editor to Huck magazine