UPDATE: Chris Resop is a real estate agent now. We interviewed him for Barbecast 50!

Chris Resop is a 31-year-old right-handed reliever. Since 2005, he’s pitched for the Marlins, Angels, Braves, Pirates, and A’s. He has a 4.62 ERA in 243.1 career innings. His career bWAR is 0.2. Chris Resop is unremarkable.

Or is he?

As some of you may know, I am quite fond of ridiculously lopsided batter-pitcher match-ups. The match-up that everyone’s been freaking out about lately is Paul Goldschmidt vs. Tim Lincecum, and rightfully so. It’s completely ridiculous. Anyway, I was recently checking out Starlin Castro’s most lopsided match-ups. Sure enough, there was Resop. Castro is 6-8 with three home runs, zero walks, zero strikeouts, and one hit-by-pitch against Mr. Resop. Interesting! Sorta. Using our buddy Daren Willman‘s amazing Media tab on Chris Resop’s player page over on baseballsavant.com, I went back and found video of the three dingers he gave up to Starlin.

Wait. What? I went looking for these videos in search of a pattern; maybe a pattern of pitch location, or pitch type. What I found was something far more fascinating. I have documented before how spectacular pitchers’ reactions are to giving up home runs, especially when the home run hitter is Barry Bonds. These three simple screenshots led me to the obvious question that thousands before me have surely asked: does Chris Resop grab his crotch after every home run he allows?

I returned to Chris Resop’s baseballsavant page in search of answers. The Media tab on baseballsavant player pages provides video of every play the player was involved in, as tagged by MLB Advanced Media. I decided to watch every home run that Chris Resop has ever allowed (or at least, the ones provided by MLB) and see what I found. The results:

I was in shock. This was spectacular. To be clear, I am well aware that all players, including pitchers, may need to adjust their protection down there every once in a while. But this was much more than that. This was uncanny consistency. Chris Resop could not stop. I became more curious. Is it only home runs that makes Chris Resop grab his nether region? There was plenty more video to peruse. What happens when he allows an RBI single, instead of a home run? Does he still express his frustration in the same way?

He certainly does! What about groundouts?

Amazing. How about flyouts?

Spectacular. Doubles? Doubles!

Flabbergasting. How about a triple?

Beautiful. And finally…sacrifice flies!

Everything. Everything makes Chris Resop grab his crotch. Chris Resop is currently a member of the Pawtucket Red Sox, the Triple-A team for the Boston Red Sox. Let’s hope he gets the call soon. Chris Resop needs to be pitching in the major leagues again as soon as possible. Chris Resop is remarkable.