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This is my boob keychain. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My boob keychain is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

Without me, my boob keychain is useless. Without my boob keychain, I am useless. I must squeeze my boob keychain true. I must squeeze harder than my enemy who is trying to squeeze me. I must squeeze him before he squeezes me. I will…