Shalom Shekelberg

Israeli Jew News Time

July 17, 2014

As soon as we heard about the capture of Antisemitic cartoonist and Skinhead Militia leader “Zyklon” Ben Garrison, he had already slaughtered the entire SEAL Team Six and escaped back into a secret tunnel system running through the mountains of Montana.

After a joint operation by the FBI and the CIA was able to triangulate the coordinates of Garrison by backtracing one of his posts on 4chan’s /pol/, his Montana cabin (which he had claimed in various posts was made of “the bones of niggers,” but which was in fact made mostly of sticks and mud) was raided by the elite unit which took down Osama bin Laden. Garrison was sitting in the dark in an SS uniform, smoking a hand-rolled cigarette and sipping on a glass of moonshine, the scent of which would make a normal man go blind.

The first three agents to kick in the door were killed with throwing knives cared from whale bone, as Ben crawled down into one of his secret tunnels. A Blackhawk helicopter was able to collapse the tunnel with rockets, and Garrison was pulled out by a sophisticated robot, handcuffed and locked in a cage designed to hold a war elephant.

Less than two hours later, the helicopter that was carrying Garrison to an unnamed CIA aircraft carrier in the Pacific disappeared from the radar, and was found later that day back in Montana.

Garrison left a note in the cockpit, in the form of this cartoon:

One of the mutilated bodies of a SEAL Team Six member involved in the operation has since washed up on a beach near San Francisco, the other three are still missing but presumed dead.

Barack Obama, under pressure from Benjamin Netanyahu and Abe Foxman, has introduced a bill which would authorize mini-nukes to be dropped in strategic locations throughout Montana.

But could a series of nuclear bombs stop Ben Garrison?

Experts say “no.”

Dr. Steven Shattak, professor of Holocaust studies at Tel Aviv University, said “Garrison has obviously prepared for everything. It is very unlikely the initial blasts would kill him, and he no doubt has the equipment needed to deal with the nuclear fallout.”

Garrison, who is under investigation in connection with a string of deadly synagogue bombings across the United States and Canada, has sworn repeatedly that he will take down the government and “gas the kikes.” He is presently number one on the most wanted lists of both America and Israel.

Former Mossad analyst Uri “Shekels” Steinman has said that Garrison “is the biggest threat the Jews have faced since Adolf Hitler turned six million of us into lampshades.” He added, “if the Jews don’t end Ben Garrison, Ben Garrison is going to end the Jews. ‘Never again’ has to mean something.”