

Because the world needed yet another reason to ban Nickelback, we can now add “violent revolutionists” to the infinite list. A recent article from Chinese-owned news source Global Times, written by Farman Nawaz, proffers that the Canadian band’s newest song, “Edge of a Revolution,” is actually a white anthem for riotous revolution and global anarchy.

As if anyone takes anything Nickelback does seriously.

To be fair, the music video does feature real footage from recent revolutions, including Arab Spring and Occupy Wall Street. And in it, children do some silent screaming and throw a few papers around a classroom, presumably starting a bit of a tussle. Plus the song is called “Edge of a Revolution.” Nickelback, not one for the subtle approach, are we?

Neither the song nor the article mentions China or the Occupy protests in Hong Kong directly, but Nawaz does say that the Canadian band is, “trying to export the Occupy [Wall Street] movement, blended with a dash of violence, to Asia, where the vested interests of the West are no longer realizable through diplomacy…” Yikes. The author also throws around terms like “moral superiority,” “protest against the state,” and “imposing ideologies through propaganda.” That’s right, Mr. Nawaz, the Canadian government has a secret conspiracy to initiate violent revolutions in Asia, and they chose Nickelback, beloved and trustworthy, as their foreign liaison to achieve their dastardly plan for anarchy. Good one.

Nickelback joins Kenny G as the part of the “they still exist?” musician club to be swept up in the Occupy Hong Kong frenzy, since both musicians have history as being volatile supporters of anti-government demonstrations.

So if the protests in Hong Kong become violent, we will know who to blame: Nickelback.

If students in mainland China begin throwing their books and chairs, inspired by the cinemotagraphy of American director Wayne Isham, we will know who to blame: Nickelback.

And if, later today, you can’t find your house keys or you miss the bus or step in a puddle or something, you can blame Nickelback because Nickelback is the cause of all the anger and unhappiness in the world.

Watch the video, read Nawaz’s article and then pray that Nickelback remains out of the news and off our radios for the rest of forever.



By Briel Waxman

[h/t Coconuts Hong Kong]



WKND continues this Sunday, 12.30 – 5.30pm at URBN Hotel (183 Jiaozhou Lu), with free flow Vedett beer till the keg runs out!

