Waking up yet again in the stark box room he now called home, Paul Adams was forced to contemplate the ruins of his life.

His ten-year marriage was over. His cherished only daughter Devon, who had been eight when her parents split, lived with her mother.

And never before had he felt such loneliness or crushing failure.

Paul Adams, 42, runs an entertainment business and is forced to live in a house with other divorced dads as he still pays his ex-wife's mortgage, meaning he can't afford his own place. That means he misses out on spending time with his daughter Devon (stock image)

To rub salt into the wounds, the three-bed marital home he was still helping to pay for was less than a mile away; meaning he would often pass by feeling more than a stab of self-pity.

Particularly as he had to face the ignominy of sharing a cramped house with a colleague.

For Paul, 42, like many fathers in his position, marriage break up had meant penury: unable to afford a place of his own, he had to ‘sofa surf’ before resorting to a house share.

Situations like Paul’s are now so common that flat-sharing website SpareRoom.com has 100,000 customers in their late 40s - a threefold increase in six years - and almost 40,000 over 55, both male and female.

‘I felt such a failure as a father,’ says Paul who runs an entertainment business. ‘It was such a terrible time. Before the divorce I used to walk Devon to school every day and be around for bath time and bedtime.

‘Suddenly I couldn’t even speak to her without going through her mum and the lack of contact was devastating.’

Add to that his shame whenever his daughter came to stay in his single room. ‘I made a temporary partition using a filled clothes rail between our two beds to give her some privacy but it felt pretty inadequate,’ he says.

Situations like Paul’s are now so common that flat-sharing website SpareRoom.com has 100,000 customers in their late 40s - a threefold increase in six years - and almost 40,000 over 55, both male and female (stock image)

‘She kept saying it was fine but I knew it wasn’t. She obviously couldn’t have friends over and I felt bad about that, too.’

Paul’s marriage fell apart in June 2013. ‘I made the hardest decision of my life and left, still agreeing to pay maintenance, and help with the rent in the former marital home, because it was the right thing to do.’

First he stayed with friends but after six months of ‘sofa surfing’ he moved back into his mum’s house in December 2013.

Being self-employed meant he was without a regular salary. The maintenance payments to his ex-wife left him unable to afford his own place.

While he was thrilled with more access, sharing a bedroom with Devon, now nearly 11 - with him on a second-hand bed - was far from ideal

‘What 40-something father wants to move back in with his mum?’ says Paul. ‘I felt ashamed; I wasn’t providing for my daughter in the way I should be.’

While he was grateful for his mother’s help, living under her rules was a strain for him and Devon when she stayed. ‘My mum’s very house-proud and likes things a certain way,’ says Paul. ‘Devon struggled with that but my hands were tied; it was her house.’

So when Paul heard about a colleague - also divorced and in a similar situation - looking for someone to share his rented house in March 2015, he moved in.

In doing so he joined the soaring number of middle-aged people living in shared accommodation as a result of relationship breakdowns and high property prices.

The house, just a mile away from the former marital home, only had two bedrooms, which meant sharing one with Devon.

It was round this time that the couple agreed to split their time with their daughter 50/50.

But while he was thrilled with more access, sharing a bedroom with Devon, now nearly 11 - with him on a second-hand bed - was far from ideal. ‘It often felt like we were simply muddling through,’ says Paul. Being forced to ‘muddle through’ in a second-rate home is a common cry of divorced fathers.

Paul was forced to move back in with his mother as he couldn't afford to live anywhere else, meaning his time spent with Devon was more tense than ever (stock image)

Often they find themselves out of pocket and disadvantaged, in comparison to the child’s mother who often remains in the marital home.

Penelope Leach, psychologist and author of Family Breakdown: Helping Children Hang On To Both Their Parents, says: ‘Fathers tell me they often worry about whether their children will want to stay with them because they haven’t got a lot to offer - everything is at their mum’s house.

‘This question of a home to sustain a second parental relationship is an important one and should be considered when discussing childcare arrangements. Men are often trying to do the right thing and will pay maintenance, and will sometimes even continue to pay the mortgage, but it means they can’t afford their own home and this can be a real problem. How can they be good fathers if there’s nowhere to have the children?’

After six months, in September 2015, Paul’s colleague moved back in with his ex and Paul took on as much work as he could in order to remain in the flat, giving Devon her own room.

The question of a home to sustain a second parental relationship is an important one and should be considered when discussing childcare arrangements. Men are often trying to do the right thing and will pay maintenance, and will sometimes even continue to pay the mortgage, but it means they can’t afford their own home (stock image)

‘I hate to think Devon has suffered through all this,’ says Paul. ‘It’s definitely a lot better now, thankfully.’

Adamantios Hanson, 43, from London, is another father who found himself stranded after his 16- year marriage broke down acrimoniously. The father of two children, now 18 and 14, who continued to pay the entire monthly mortgage on the former marital home, resorted to sleeping in his car for the first two weeks before house sharing with strangers.

‘It was a vicious circle,’ says Adamantios, an electrical engineer. ‘I wanted to see my children but couldn’t because I wasn’t living in a secure, comfortable situation.

‘But because I was still paying the mortgage, I couldn’t afford a decent place.’

He adds: ‘I was used to living in a nice home but this was a low standard of living - dingy rooms, broken furniture, threadbare carpets.

‘It was a vicious circle,’ says Adamantios, an electrical engineer. ‘I wanted to see my children but couldn’t because I wasn’t living in a secure, comfortable situation'

‘You’ve no idea who’s coming in and out, too, when you share with strangers. It wasn’t a secure place for children - my ex was right to not want them to stay with me - and my self-esteem hit rock bottom.’

He has since lived in over a dozen shared houses and only now - two-and-a-half years later - is he on the cusp of having enough money to afford a deposit on a new home.

Jerry Karlin, chair and trustee of Families Need Fathers, is shocked that many fathers are treated as secondary carers after a break-up.

‘The concept of a main carer is divisive,’ he says. ‘More and more dads want to have a part in their child’s development - and mums want that, too.

‘It’s generally accepted that the presence of a father leads to a more stable child.’

And while having two homes may be logistically tricky, it can work if both parents live nearby and do everything to ensure it does.

But to many men post break-up, even the idea of a second home is a luxury: instead they return to their parents.

Phil Elmes, 33, a carpenter from Devon, did that when he split from his partner of six years in February this year and says this makes it harder to look after his 23-month old son, Oliver.

‘I didn’t have a child to be a part-time dad,’ he says. ‘Oliver was planned and the idea was to be in his life every day.

‘But while my ex has the house and I’m having to save up for my own place, it means having to share a room at my mum’s house and it’s not ideal.’

While Phil picks Oliver up for nursery and spends Tuesday and Thursday evenings with him, he has to drop him back at his ex’s house at 7pm, missing the all-important bath and bedtime.

He only has Oliver overnight once a week and one weekend a month.

‘But it’s not enough,’ says Phil. ‘I want to see him more. Being without him in the evenings is so hard. I want to bath him and put him to bed and ultimately, I want him to have two homes. But while I’m at my mum’s everything is too temporary.’