...is thoughtfulness. A dude would probably never do what my secret santa did:

I had actually completely forgotten about the reddit gift exchange, and because I work for myself out of my house, I also receive a lot of boxes. So, I thought nothing of it when I received a box from Amazon.com yesterday. Upon opening it, though, the first thing I noticed strange was that it was a reused box, and I didn't recognize the sender. The second thing I noticed was that there was a LOT of rattling going on inside. Whatever it was, I figured it was broken in a gajillion pieces. Then the images of black, red and green wires, and a cell phone attached to C4 entered my mind. WHAT IF IT WAS A MAIL BOMB! Well, I hadn't performed any abortions recently, so I crossed that possibility off the list.

When I finally mustered up the courage to open this mysterious box, I saw a package in custom-made santa reddit alien wrapping paper. Under that, I saw ANOTHER package in a custom-made You've Got Mail Reddit-Red Envelope! COOOL! It was from my SECRET SANTA! YAY! There was an xmas card inside and it said SPOILER ALERT. OPEN PRESENTS FIRST. So I stopped reading and kept sifting through the box.

THEN IT GOT WEIRD.

At the bottom of the box were almost a dozen of these little 1" buttons. These were the things making the rattling noise. Some buttons had reddit aliens on them. One even had a picture of a Tornado Foosball table on it. How'd she know I had aspirations to be a professional foosball player? http://tinyurl.com/ya6ue4h

But oddly, some buttons had pictures of my friend on them. And a picture of his wife, and pictures of both his kids...WTF was going on? Was Secret Santa my friend Matt? Surely not. He barely knows how to use the internets. And why would he give ME buttons to wear of HIS family?

I opened the other gifts and discovered a miniature samurai sword (with stand), a cool Makeit & Bakit suncatcher, and a flexible pouring cup. An odd present, but appreciated, just the same. As a matter of fact, I had been wanting to get a new one coincidentally...

THEN MY WIFE MADE IT EVEN WEIRDERDER.

Curious, my wife started looking suspiciously over my shoulder, asking what all this stuff was and why anyone would send it to me. I tried to explain that reddit was this neat online community of seemingly above-average intellect, cool, introspective people, but gave up after she grabbed the xmas card covered in penises ( http://redditgifts.com/gallery/gift/spoiler-alert-xmas-card ) from my hand and started blurting out excerpts, 'While I was in Chicago!', "...Make it with your Children!", and 'I saw your Video?!"' She stared at me and yelled, "VIDEO! WHAT VIDEO OF US HAVE YOU BEEN PUTTING ONLINE?!"

Video? I thought to myself. What video of us have I been putting online?! Then I looked down at the measuring cup. Then I saw the reddit wrapping paper. Then I suddenly put two and two together, and my heart melted with appreciation for what my Secret Santa had done for me.

A few months earlier, I had posted this video: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/9skzq/no_i_want_to_find_the_guy_that_designed_this_a/

Secret Santa had the thoughtfulness to look up my username, research what I posted, found out I had deep-rooted frustrations with a stupid Pyrex measuring cup, and went out and purchased me a cup that wouldn't splash all over the place when poured. She then went above and beyond, by finding pictures of me and family and made cute little buttons out of them. She saw that I had kids, and included little toys for them as well. Unfortunately, she had mistakenly mistook all the pictures of my friend and his family, for me and mine, but as ya know, it's the thought that counts! AND DAMN, did I have a good laugh! It was seriously the best unexpected present I had ever received since a Norwegian foreign exchange student asked me out my junior year in high school.

Thank you, so much calantorntain for your thoughtfulness and the time you took to send such kind gifts!

UPDATE: Here is a video I made illustrating Pyrex Suck vs Secret Santa's Flexible cup Win. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkzFwSOKF4Y