



Hello ladies. Perhaps you've been reading over at Life After the Oil Crash or The Die-Off. Maybe you're just observant and smart enough to have realized that the current Cornucopian Era is at an end, and things are going to get very bad, very fast as we approach the Olduvai Cliff in a few years and five billion or so people find themselves without a place on this planet.



It's overwhelming, to be sure. All the things you thought were in your future... The nice, new house in the suburbs, the SUV, the college-bound kids, the modern career... All of it gone like a waft of smoke in the wind.



The real future for most folks in America is going to be a choice of moving into the Government-run urban areas (Fedghettos), where you'll live under an unabashed Police State, but will probably have semi-regular access to the basics of modern life, or staying Outside, where there will be no reliable infrastructure. No police, food distribution, water, power, gasoline, etc.



A relative handful of people have seen this coming for a while, and have taken steps to live free on the Outside without modern infrastructure. This is a daunting task in reality. Stocking a bunker with supplies and fuel only delays the inevitable. Long-term living (not just survival) on the Outside will require not only physical resources, but knowledge and skills which have been nearly lost to the current generations.



If you're just now realizing the truth of the situation, there is probably far too little time to save yourself. Unless...







I'm a tall, brawny, 40-something, 19th Century throwback of a man with farming, traditional blacksmithing, hunting, horsemanship (of course), and other skills valuable to those trying to live Outside the Fedghettos in a post-collapse America. My lovely wife of twenty years and I saw the writing on the wall some time ago, and have been striving to build a good-sized, sustainable homestead farm. We're working on a model of circa 1910 technology (horse-drawn equipment, wood heat, etc.) augmented by a few bits of infrastructure-independent modern technology (solar-powered running water, radio communication, etc.). We have a few more things to do, but we're on-track to be as self-sufficient as it is possible to be in the near future.



The wife and myself can run this place after the grid fails and the gas stations, grocery stores, and feed mills shut down. But it'd take both of us going full-out all the time. Not only is that a poor way to live, it leaves no leeway in case either of us should get sick or injured.



After all we've done to build an island of civilized, rural living that can withstand TEOTWAWKI, it'd be very sad to know it'll disappear without a trace when we shuffle-off our mortal coils.







This is where you might come in... We need a concubine or two. I use the term here to denote an "assistant wife". Someone to help the wife with all of her duties around the place. Not just a harem girl. Someone who might eventually become a sort of junior partner in our little operation. (I don't use any form of the term "wife" for the position because my wife has been a full partner through thick and thin for too long to ever have an equal.)



Our concubine will have a safe home when Law and Order crumbles. She'll have wholesome food and clean running water while many other people will be surviving on Government rations or scrounging for scraps. She'll have a warm woodstove in the Winter, and a clean "cement pond" in which to escape the Summer heat. She won't be scared, hungry, or alone... And, after a couple of years to make sure everyone is happy with the situation, she can look forward to her child having a relatively civilized upbringing with an extensive, if informal, education.



Of course, it won't be a free ride. The horses and I do the "heavy lifting" around here, but there are always plenty of other chores to be tended to. It's a simple, rustic kind of life. But probably a darned sight better than living in the Fedghetto (think about the Superdome after Katrina), popping out babies destined to be drafted into the endless Resource Wars.







Qualities of a potential concubine...



Youth, within legal limits, of course. It'd be much easier for a younger woman to adapt to a radically different lifestyle, especially the inherent 'junior' nature of the concubine's initial role. It'd also be best if her Biological Clock alarm weren't already going off, causing her to want to have a baby before she'd been on the farm long enough to know she could make it here.



Health. If you rely on modern medicine to keep you going, you'd probably have a better chance in the Fedghetto.



Fitness. Every girl this side of Olive Oyl thinks she needs to lose weight. That's not going to be a problem. We'll all be getting skinny soon enough. But country life is physical, and you need to be fit to live it. Being at least somewhat athletic is a big plus.



Open mindedness... Kinda' goes without saying, as we are talking about a rather non-traditional living arrangement here. (Amish Anarcho-libertarian Hippies?)



A healthy libido and adventurous nature. It ain't all about growing corn and haying the horses back here. I've spent my whole life in the country, avoiding the various testosterone-reducing agents that have made so many American men unable to function without pills... And it shows.



The ability to deal with weapons. You don't need to be an expert. Just willing to learn. We're not paramilitary "survivalist" stereotypes. Our place is secluded, and our primary defense is staying "below the radar". But 911 is just Government-sponsored 'Dial-a-Prayer' in the best of times, and won't even exist in the future. We'll be on our own, which means each of us is expected to have everyone else's back when things get rough. Which requires everyone to be able to handle the firearms safely and effectively.



The ability to deal with animals. Again, you don't need to be an expert. We'll teach you. We're fond of the draft horses, but remember they are working animals, not pets. Remember that the pigs and freshening calves are food, so don't get attached.



Unattached. This is a lifeboat, and there's limited space on-board.



Discreet. When things settle down, and the small town within riding distance adapts into something akin to what it was a hundred years ago, we'll trade and interact with the local community... But we'll be doing better than most folks around here, do it would be wise to limit the amount of information we share, lest we invite envy and theft.



Ability to be content. Some people never are. Generations raised in the Cornucopian Age often crave more, just for the sake of more, even though they aren't even using and enjoying what they already have. To be happy here, you need to be able to appreciate "plenty" and be satisfied with it.





If you think you might be qualified and interested, respond here, send an email, or pop on over at the LATOC Forums and post a message.



