Paris Hilton’s summer residency at Amnesia has been cast into doubt today after the superclub claimed they can’t remember making the offer to the hotel heiress.

Hilton enjoyed a brief but successful residency every Wednesday night during August last year and it was widely reported that she would be invited back to Amnesia this year for a summer long residency, however, it appears that those plans have now been scuppered.

“Who, or what, is a Paris Hilton?” asked Amnesia boss Geoffrey Member when quizzed on this summer’s schedule. “I’m pretty sure that I’d remember promising a residency to a city or a hotel so I’m thinking it must be a person and, if it is, I have absolutely no idea who they are and I certainly don’t remember offering them a summer slot.”





“Memory definitely isn’t my strong point, that’s why I called the club Amnesia,” claimed Mr. Member who took control of Amnesia in 2006, approximately thirty years after it was named Amnesia. “It took me about five years to remember Ven Svath’s name and he’s been playing here since long before I arrived.”

“If this Paris Hilton really wants to play here then they can contact me and we’ll discuss the possibility,” added the boss. “My phone number is 555…eh no wait 545…hang on a minute it’s 5545…Fuck it, just tell them to find me on Facebook.”

According to sources close to Hilton, the “DJ” is unconcerned about Amnesia’s stance on her summer residency, “Paris has absolutely no conception of what it feels like to be disappointed. In her whole life no one has ever said no to her, so I just don’t think she understands what is actually happening.”

“The dozy cow still thinks she’s going to Ibiza, hopefully Mr. Member will eventually forget that he forgot and we won’t have to sit her down and explain what it’s like to be a normal person, experiencing disappointments that money can’t fix.”

Reports emerging from within the Hilton camp suggest that should Paris’s clubnight, Foam and Diamonds, not make Amnesia’s roster this year, an opening at a weekly under 18s disco in East Kilbride, Scotland, is available.

However, moving the entire show to Scotland would see Paris, who currently earns approximately $300,000 per show, taking a significant pay cut, with the underage disco preferring to pay the socialite with a variety of sweets and Buckfast, which, depending on the amount of Buckfast, still seems slightly extortionate for Hilton’s services.