In case you missed it, it seems the case brought by Savana Redding against her school for strip-searching her when she was 13 is going to be heard by the Supreme Court. If you have an aversion to horrifying invasions of privacy, please don’t read the following:

An assistant principal, enforcing the school’s antidrug policies, suspected her of having brought prescription-strength ibuprofen pills to school. One of the pills is as strong as two Advils.

The search by two female school employees was methodical and humiliating, Ms. Redding said. After she had stripped to her underwear, “they asked me to pull out my bra and move it from side to side,” she said. “They made me open my legs and pull out my underwear.”

This was, apparently, all done in the name of “Zero Tolerance,” perhaps the stupidest goddamned idea in education since “No Child Left Behind.” What I don’t understand about this is manyfold:

1. How can you perpetrate searches like this, then send a teen off to history class, where they will learn that the U.S. is unique amongst the world’s nations for its intolerance of unreasonable search and seizure?

2. When did we devolve into a society so terrified of drugs that searching in a child’s vagina for Advil became de rigeur?

3. What exactly would they have done for “punishment” had they found said drugs? Suspension? How would it be seen as a negative for the girl if she had to go home, and away from the hands of humiliation that had just scoured her every orifice?

4. Supreme Court? This had to go to the Supreme Court??? This sounds like a goddamned easy call to me. Then again, I’m one of those bed-wetting hippie feminazis who’s against child molestation.