GIANTESS LAMMY X PARAPPA

One fateful night at around 11:00 PM in the grand urban metropolis of Tokyo- err, I mean Parappa Town, Parappa the Rapper (who had just recently done some serious housekeeping) was just minding his own adorable-puppy-rapper business lying down and taking a nice, relaxing snooze in the master bedroom of his lovely and adorably shy (and annoyingly twice as tall and lean as him) big stepsister Lammy Lamb's normally quite messy and cluttered apartment without a care in the world; much to his relief, the poor neurotic uncomfortably-hot mess of a surprisingly-not-entirely-stereotypical college-girl rockstar had gone out on a super-duper-huge lesbian date with her almost equally adorable girlfriend Katy Kat...which had presumably ended up with the two of them drunkenly passing out on the floor of the local Milkcan concert stage together, or at the very least, the master bedroom of Katy's apartment.

For once in what felt like almost a lifetime after spending only a mere week living with Lammy, there had thankfully been (almost) no completely crazy/random stuff happening whatsoever all throughout that whole entire day...no ridiculous LSD-induced visual effects...no constantly being teased about his rather vertically-challenged height...no constant over-the-top rapping challenges required just to complete menial and mundane everyday tasks...and best of all, no "LEAVE IT TO LAMMMYYYYYY" or "MY GUITAR IS IN MY MINNND" or "SHE'S ON THE BORDER NOOOOOOWWWWWW" or "HIYYYATATAT-CHAAAHHHH" or even anything of the sort.

"Ah, peace and quiet...ironically the one specific thing that the average rapper apparently craves in life above all else according to my martial-arts teacher, and I can definitely see why!" Parappa suddenly woke up and yawned relievedly, sitting up in the bed, stretching his arms and scratching his armpits as he hopped down onto the smooth and lustrous wooden floor and began walking over to the kitchen pantry to get some peanut butter and crackers to snack on...when all of a sudden, at just about the least expected moment possible, his cell phone (which he had set on Lammy's bedside table, naturally) broke out into a manic fit of ringing!

"Well, what do you know? If I have to take a wild guess here, I'm going to have to assume that this means at least something along the lines of YUP, SO MUCH FOR ME SAYING THAT NOTHING FREAKING CRAZY WAS GOING TO END UP HAPPENING TO ME TONIGHT..." Parappa sighed irritatedly as he slyly strolled right back over into the bedroom, picked up his cell phone and checked to see who was calling him THIS time...even though he was honestly pretty sure that he already basically knew the answer to that question for a fact.

Sure enough, as he immediately found out (and again, pretty much already knew to begin with, since he was just about the only person that actually called him on the phone this late at night), the person that was trying to call him was, in fact, none other than the legendary (but mostly just weird, stinky and homeless) karate master known as Chop Chop Master Onion.

"Sigh...what do you want THIS time?" Parappa rolled his eyes and groaned exasperatedly, his eyes beginning to droop and sag a little as he reluctantly accepted the call request, sassily placing his left hand on his hip and tapping his right foot on the ground impatiently while he eagerly waited at least ten full seconds for Chop Chop to finally say something besides random goofy karate noises.

TEN SECONDS LATER...

"Greetings, stalwart young apprentice! Your master bring VERY important news to you this fateful night!" Chop Chop explained from halfway across town in his self-proclaimedly majestic Fruites Dojo (that he had somehow literally rebuilt with his mind), sitting criss-crossed in midair just above his gross sweaty training mat (surrounded by a classic Chinese ritual circle of candles, of course, just to completely eliminate basically any sense of subtlety he could have even possibly had) and telekinetically levitating the phone next to his ear with his eyes firmly shut in a state of profoundly deep meditation, his arms pointed out downward to his sides and his outstretched index and middle fingers pressed firmly against each other as he eagerly (but patiently) awaited Parappa's response.

"Oh boy, what is it THIS time?" Parappa shrugged his shoulders, groaned and sighed exhaustedly while Chop Chop repeatedly (and annoyingly) chanted OMM to himself over the phone.

"As you perhaps already know by this point in time, your lambent big sis and her feline girlfriend went on a rather overzealous bonding journey all over town with each other and drank only-the-divine-beings-themselves-know-how-much alcohol, to the point where they both literally fell unconscious in defeat before they were ever even able to strip each other's clothes off; therefore, they are now defenselessly sprawled out on the floor." Chop Chop reluctantly explained as Parappa twitched and squirmed with excitement, panting and drooling like...well, a dog...and also developing a rather noticeably large protrusion in the crotch area of his saggy blue pajama jeans; a protrusion that his right hand found itself immediately, almost involuntarily gravitating itself directly to and digging its way into his underwear as his entire face suddenly broke out into only the most utterly malicious, downright despicable and absolutely grinchy of evil, evil grins from the mere thought of the types of vile, sickening and downright nasty things that Chop Chop quite-a-bit-more-than-subtly seemed to be implying that His Ruffness would be able to do with the poor girls' bodies while they were busy being all comatose and adorably helpless and whatnot.

"Parappa, I've been telepathically reading your mind for quite some time now, and let me tell you something right here, right now; your mind is an appalling dump heap overflowing with only the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable fetish fantasies imaginable, mangled-up in TANGLED-UP KNOTS!" Chop Chop suddenly gritted his teeth in frustration, opened his eyes super-duper-wide with an anime-esque flash of light and yelled furiously at Parappa at the tops of his ever-loving lungs through the phone, causing Parappa to dizzily stumble sideways in confusion before finally shaking his head back into focus and retorting offendedly at him.

"Oh come on, it so totally is NOT; I mean, come on man, haven't you ever seen my-" Parappa stammered frantically, struggling desperately to come up with a properly suitable comeback while Chop Chop (despite being an onion himself) ironically began roasting his almost-painfully-stereotypically white and 16-year-old rapping apprentice even harder.

"SILENCE! Need I remind you, dear friend, of that one time when I sat you down in my judgment chair, took some good long looks into your mind with my telepathic powers and found not one, not two, but rather SEVERAL images of you VERY tightly ball-gagging poor, poor Lammy, chaining her limbs to the floor and ceiling, pouring huge buckets of melted ice cream all over her and then licking it right off of her naked body as if it was some sort of demonic sex ritual?! For shame, you revolting little skank, for absolute SHAME! Why, hell, I would even go as far as to say that they oughta call you Parappa the RAPIST, for crying out loud!" Chop Chop ranted angrily at Parappa, causing the poor kid's increasingly diamond-hard erection to stick all the way up out of his pajama pants in response while his tail began fervently wagging with delight.

"Jeeze Lawheeze, man, STOP it! You're giving me a freaking RAGING stiffie just from IMAGINING all of the crazy-ass things that you're making me think of doing right now!" Parappa whispered nervously through the phone, glancing frantically to the left and right of himself before finally plopping himself down face-up onto Lammy's perfume-scented bed and moaning gently with relief.

"Exactly! And THAT'S why I'm going to be very shortly summoning my bodyguards to go over there and make sure you don't try to...ahem...SPIRITUALLY INTEGRATE YOURSELF WITH their comatose bodies!" Chop Chop boasted self-righteously with great pride and confidence, boiling with pent-up infuriation at the mere disgusting thought of what Parappa was more-than-likely planning to do with Lammy and Katy if and when he reached the concert hall.

Little did he know, however, that the reality of what Parappa was TRULY planning to do with his new soon-to-be sex dolls was actually, believe it or not, somehow even WORSE than he ever could have imagined!

"Oh, TRUST me, I would absolutely NEVER do ANYTHING of the sort! Uh...b-BYE now, heh heh!" Parappa stammered and chuckled nervously, glancing back and forth in a fit of extreme paranoia as he tried as hard as he possibly could to not sound insultingly sarcastic (and, of course, naturally failed miserably) before finally hanging up, slamming the cell phone shut with extreme prejudice and setting it down on the bedside table while Chop Chop merely shook his fist at him with intensely stinking and pungent feelings of anger, loathing and disgust.

"Hmph! I'll show HIM!" Chop Chop laughed arrogantly like the arrogant kung-fu man that he was, getting back down onto his feet, carefully stepping out of his obligatory ritual ring of candles and dialing up Prince Fleaswallow's number (followed by Paul Chuck's, of course) while Parappa went over to Lammy's dresser and changed himself right back into his iconic (and admittedly cloyingly cheesy and stereotypical, just like how his overall rapping style in general pretty much was) signature outfit of orange winter hat with big-ass frog emblem, light blue tank-top, blue jeans baggier than most actual bags themselves, and big red clown sneakers.

(NOTE: Parappa had exactly fifteen minutes' worth of time before Chop Chop's cronies were scheduled to arrive at the future crime scene in the Milkcan concert auditorium. Oh, and just in case you're wondering, Parappa wasn't on crack and LSD mixed together like Lammy seemingly was throughout most of the events of Um Jammer Lammy; he actually DID have only fifteen minutes to get the job this time...and believe me, it was JUST the type of repugnantly nauseating work to make even the leading producers of the Dirty Jobs television series blush.)

"Alright, now where did I leave that shrink ray...oh, wait, HERE IT IS, DURR!" Parappa groaned and facepalmed himself as he briefly searched around the room before finally, disappointedly discovering that Lammy, being scatterbrained and honestly kind of completely batshit-insane as always, had gone and just foolishly left the shrink ray that her Undertale counterpart, Alphys, had specifically designed and invented just for her...well, basically just sitting RIGHT THERE on top of her dresser, shortly after the events depicted in Um Jammer Alphys.

(NOTE: The Undertale characters have now finally returned to their home universe, thankfully.)

"Hmm? What's that you say, audience? Ooh, THE ABSOLUTE MOST REVOLTING AND DISGUSTING THING THAT I'M EVER GOING TO PERSONALLY FIND MYSELF DOING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, you say? WELL, then...don't mind if I fricking DO, if I do say so myself!" Parappa laughed derangedly as he snatched the shrink ray right off the dresser-top, stuffed it into his pocket, then began frantically, cartoonishly rummaging through Lammy's bedroom closet (which was rather unsettlingly and notoriously loaded to the brim with hallucinogenic drugs and sex toys) until he finally found her emergency tranquilizer gun and stuffed it into his other pocket.

"Alright, nearly every single sick and disgusting fetish I can possibly think of; HERE I CUM!" Parappa continued laughing maniacally, grinning from ear to floppy ear as he hastily bolted straight out the door, running straight down the staircase and sprinting right out the front door of the apartment building's lobby room as fast as his legs were able to carry him.

ONE QUICK TWO-MINUTE TAXI RIDE LATER...

"Yo, thanks for the ride, Fleaswallow!" Parappa happily hopped, skipped and waved goodbye to the taxi driver (who then promptly waved back with an incredibly smarmy and drug-induced smile in response) as he jumped out of the taxi, immediately bolted straight up the entrance staircase, pulled out a lockpick from his pockets, picked the front door right open and walked inside while Fleaswallow not-so-mysteriously drove and parked his taxi (of which the other passenger just so happened to be Paul Chuck, predictably enough) into a back alley right next to the concert hall.

"Hey Einstein, how come we didn't just flat-out ARREST that creepy little joker right then and there, hmm? Don't you know how to freaking tell someone who DOESN'T have good intentions from someone who DOES just by simply taking a nice little second to...oh, I dunno, freaking LOOK at them?!" Paul Chuck threw his arms up in the air and began ranting exasperatedly, actually making a really good point.

"Oh, for the love of freaking Kwanzaa and marijuana, man, how many goddamned times do I have to freaking TELL you this shit?! FOR GOD'S SAKE, MAN, WE DON'T EVEN FREAKING KNOW WHAT TYPE OF SHIT HE'S GOING TO PULL NEXT! And BESIDES, it's not even how the damned Supreme Court justice system WORKS! You can't just fucking go around BLINDLY FUCKING ASSUMING EVERYONE YOU MEET OF BEING MURDEROUS STONERS AND SERIAL KILLERS! Especially when you freaking act like one YOURSELF, ya big crazy doofus!" Fleaswallow explained angrily and impatiently to Paul, tapping his sexy sandal-clad feet to his own spiritual beat while Paul angrily revved up his chainsaw and threatened to bloodily cut down the entire humanoid population of the general vicinity with it.

"But I thought you said we didn't have TIME for jokers!" Paul stuffed his chainsaw back into his pocket and frustratedly pointed out as the two of them opened up their corresponding doors (driver's-seat door for Fleaswallow, right passenger-seat door for Paul, walked out into the back alley and indignantly slammed them shut.

"Well, needless to say, we really DON'T at the moment, at least as far as my lazy opiate-ridden ass can tell; however, what we DO have time for is some good old-fashioned INCEST PORN! You know what I'm SAYING, man?" Fleaswallow began laughing uproariously, patting Paul on the back triumphantly as the two of them eagerly walked their way around the concert-hall building to the front door together, internally screaming at themselves all the way.

Meanwhile in the Milkcan concert auditorium, Parappa was busy smarmily tiptoeing his way up onto the stage, where Lammy's and Katy's deeply unconscious, surprisingly fully clothed bodies were both sprawled out on the floor together, ripe for the raping...err, I mean, tender affection and mutual loving. (Oh, who in the hell am I kidding? If you've ever read the Undertale Giantess series, then you basically already know EXACTLY what's about to start happening, don't you? Come on, don't lie; you know it to be true.)

"Okay, so first things first, let's just make sure that Lammy and Katy aren't going to be waking up anytime soon..." Parappa whispered nervously to himself, glancing back and forth fearfully as he sneakily pulled out the tranquilizer gun from his pocket and shot both girls sound asleep with it, removing the darts and disposing of them in a nearby trash can before finally returning back to the stage so that he could...AHEM...do his business with their bodies, so to speak.

"Alright, girls; it's about TIME you showed me your true colors, if I do say so myself!" Parappa cackled evilly, rubbing his hands together like a fly as he silently, ominously creeped his way toward the girls, with his hands clenched and facing directly toward them in a profoundly rapist-esque fashion as he maliciously wiggled his fingers and began grinning from ear to ear yet again.

"GAH! They're so freaking hot that I can almost feel my FORESKIN burning right off from the mere SIGHT of them!" Parappa panted and drooled and moaned with delight, blushing and sweating intensely and acquiring a massive bump in the crotch area of his pants as he gently pulled off Lammy's and Katy's goofy shirts, comically oversized sneakers, polka-dotted socks, succulent bikinis and splendiferous panties, rendering both of them completely naked.

"Hmm...which one should I do the honors for? Gee, the choice sure is SO incredibly difficult to decide for me!" Parappa laughed sarcastically as he gently rolled Lammy's and Katy's gorgeous naked bodies back and forth on the ground to make extra-sure that they weren't going to wake up...while Chuck and Fleaswallow intently stood just outside the auditorium's front door with a pair of binoculars, peeking in at Parappa's antics and already becoming increasingly aroused by them.

"Wow, do you actually think this kid is seriously willing to stoop himself THIS goddamned low? I mean seriously, this shit right here is just outright PATHETIC!" Chuck laughed uproariously while Fleaswallow pulled one of Alphys' invisible ghost drones (whose camera just so happened to be linked to the auditorium's massive digital display screen, mind you) out of his pocket, shrunk it to microscopic size with a mere snap of his fingers, commanded it to follow Parappa with a mere clap of his hands and deployed it into the room with a devious grin on his face.

"Chuck, man, I'm as a high as a fucking horse right now, and even I already know EXACTLY what this self-entitled, Lammy-overshadowing little shit is planning to do right now!" Fleaswallow hissed frustratedly at Chuck while Parappa pulled out the shrink ray from his pocket, laid Lammy face-down on the ground and shrunk himself to ant size, completely forgetting how very little time Chop Chop had given him to get this so-called "business" over with.

"OHH, COME STRAIGHT TO PAPA, YOU DELICIOUS LITTLE TOOTSIE ROLLS!" Parappa laughed overexcitedly as he hyperactively hopped and skipped his way over to the left one of Lammy's wrinkly crinkly pinkly bare soles and began gleefully cleaning them from top to bottom...with his tongue, no less.

"OHH, WHY HAS CHOP CHOP ABANDONED US, LAMMY'S FEET SMELL SO ORGASMICALLY WONDERFUL AND GLORIOUS!" Parappa moaned loudly with arousal as he pressed his nose deeply into Lammy's silky-smooth, wonderfully pungent arch (her feet in general stank like rotten deer carcasses, just so you know) and inhaled so deeply that it caused his brain to shrivel up like a rotten prune as his nose violently sprayed blood all over the place, which he then proceeded to lovingly smear all over her arch before finally licking it right off of said arch.

"Um...excuse me, what in the actual tarnation FUCK does that little twerp think he's doing right now? And more importantly, WHO in the hell does the plucky little bastard think he IS?!" Paul growled angrily, gritting his teeth as a stunningly high-quality live close-up feed of Parappa's disgustingly incestual foot-worship antics suddenly appeared on the background display screen.

"Oh believe me, man; what you're seeing right now is undoubtedly just the mere TIP of the LSD iceberg...if you don't want to see the Titanic sink while we're at it, dude, I would VERY strongly advise packing your bags and hauling your ass out of here right now." Fleaswallow warned him, flicking his tongue into the poor badger's ear as a not-so-subtle hint of where Parappa's Asriel-inspired antics were very clearly soon to be...please excuse the incredibly obvious pun...HEADED.

"AHHH...TASTES LIKE MOLDY YELLOW COTTAGE CHEESE ON THE BACK OF A DEAD GOAT'S PENIS...SO UTTERLY DELICIOUS..." Parappa moaned and blushed intensely with delight as he eagerly licked and felt all over the entirety of Lammy's beauteous sole from toes to heel and everything in between.

"I HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION! WHEEEEEE!" Parappa sang with excitement and giggled like a little kid as he climbed up onto the very tippy-top-bottom of Lammy's heel and slid all the way down her pungently putrid, wetly soaked and lustrously glistening sole from top to bottom, once again using his own saliva as lubricant while Chuck and Fleaswallow merely stood behind the auditorium's entrance door and gawked in utter confusion, with their jaws firmly agape in wonderment.

"And now for the tantalizingly delicious coup-de-grace!" Parappa laughed maniacally as he systematically crawled and squeezed his way into each of the cozy, warm and smelly little gaps in between Lammy's outspread toes and stuffed his face with all of the scrumptiously slimy, sweaty, reeking, lint-dripping toe jam that he could stomach (in other words, every last drop of it).

"Geez, I never thought that this kid could actually make me feel THIS atrociously sick to my goddamned stomach!" Paul gagged, covering his mouth and clutching his rumbling chest.

"Man, you can definitely say that again!" Fleaswallow covered his own mouth and nearly retched, readjusting his campily gangsta-feathered pimp hat and smoothing out his incredibly cheesy Hawaii vacation shirt in disgust while Parappa began worshipping her other sole in the exact same fashion.

ABOUT TWO MINUTES LATER, AFTER PARAPPA HAD GROWN HIMSELF BACK TO NORMAL...

"OHH, Lammy, how I absolutely ADORE you..." Parappa threw his head back and moaned orgasmically, hugging Lammy's adorably unconscious body from the back as his incredibly erect penis filled her vagina with its love while he just drooled arousedly, blushed intensely and smiled awkwardly with shameful embarrassment at what he had just done to his own stepsister.

"Eh, I'm totally used to having those types of relationships with MY family members!" Paul chuckled embarrassedly, causing Fleaswallow to awkwardly cock an eyelid at him in profound confusion and (un)surprise while Parappa gently laid Lammy's body face-up on the floor, shrunk himself back down to ant size again and began clambering his way up onto her lovely bright-red-painted toes (NOTE: Katy's were also painted the exact same color...by Lammy, of course).

"Just look at the adorable little babe, lying here ASLEEP! Already becoming the idol of MILLIONS..." Parappa whispered to himself, drooling rabidly at the mouth as he climbed his way up the tops of her feet and then proceeded to frantically scamper his way up her beautifully long and slender legs like the dirty little rat that he was very clearly being at the moment.

"She's a WUSS! Shy, silly little wuss..." Parappa began dementedly monologuing to himself as he scooped the hairy, slimy, unwashed lint out of Lammy's bellybutton with a great big tentacle-spoon that had apparently somehow managed to fit into just one of his pants pockets (along with god-knows-how-much other stuff) and ate it, licking his lips and rubbing his belly with satisfaction.

"How easily I could stroke my cock...with THESE hands...THESE...NASTY...HANDS!" Parappa laughed disgustedly to himself as he carefully poised himself atop the very edgemost portion of Lammy's pelvis and used that exact same tentacle-spoon to fish out all of the oozing, dripping, tantalizingly creamy and gooey excess ejaculatory fluid from the dank, cavernous depths of her stinky unwashed cloaca, licking his lips and slurping it down with pure joy.

"They think she's a god...BUT SHE'S AS MORTAL AS WE..." Parappa began traditionally monologuing in the creepiest and melodramatic fashion possible as he climbed his way back down onto the tops of Lammy's feet, poured a bottle of paint thinner all over his tongue and began lovingly licking the pulsating bright-red paint right off of her pretty little toenails.

"JUST...ONE...QUICK...SLIP...into her precious little ear canal while she isn't looking...and it's over...JUST...ONE..." Parappa began laughing and crying hysterically as he frantically, desperately scrambled his way straight up Lammy's torso until he finally reached her lovely, bulbous little breasts.

"I can almost feel myself mentally deteriorating from the inside out, and it is a feeling that is simply nothing short of MARVELOUS!" Parappa moaned with pleasure as he scurried and clambered his way up onto the very tip-top of Lammy's boob and began passionately, lovingly and adorably meekly sucking on her lovely, rosy-pink nipple with his fluffy little puppy lips until her warm and succulent lamb milk finally came squirting right out of it and into his ravenous, eagerly awaiting mouth!

"AHHH...the refreshing taste of victory be SUGARY-sweet today!" Parappa moaned with pleasure, licking his breastmilk-dripping lips with delight as he moved on to Lammy's other boob and repeated the exact same process once more, then wormed his way in-between her wonderfully fluffy little lamb titties and took a brief two-minute nap in her oh-so-warm-and-cozy cleavage.

APPROXIMATELY TWO MINUTES LATER...

"You know, as much as this goddamned kid clearly has absolutely NO freaking sense of time whatsoever, I gotta say...I have the weirdest of boners right now..." Paul whispered nervously into Fleaswallow's ear, blushing and covering up his crotch embarrassedly with his hands while Fleaswallow briefly removed one of his sandals and slyly, teasingly wiggled his sexy Jamaican toes at him while Parappa suddenly woke up and began climbing his way up onto Lammy's face.

"Alright, almost there...just gotta get past her mouth, nose and eyes and then the ears woll be next..." Parappa cackled and grinned maliciously, rubbing his hands together like the dirty little fly he was as he slyly tiptoed right over Lammy's hot-pink lips and pulled out his tentacle-spoon yet again as he reached her beady little nose and immediately began staring intently into it!

"OH YEAH, I'VE HIT A GOLD MINE ALL RIGHT..." Parappa moaned and drooled derangedly as he stood atop Lammy's nose and stuck his spoon deep into her nostrils, fishing out several of her dirty, slimy and nastily dicolored boogers, lovingly eating them and loudly slurping the gooey liquid snot residue right out of the spoon itself as he continued digging his way in even deeper...when suddenly, for reasons that it took him all of about literally five seconds to figure out, he was electrocuted into a cartoonish living crisp, presumably as karma for being such an utterly despicable and repugnant little shit.

"Wow, that tranquilizer REALLY worked wonders on the poor thing, didn't it?" Parappa shrugged and sighed with an ever-so-slight tinge of regret, realizing that even literally poking her right in what was presumably the frontal lobe of her brain with a blunt metal object somehow STILL hadn't been enough to wake poor Lammy up as he violently shook the ashes and soot right off of himself just like how any normal real-life dog would, prompting Lammy to then immediately, involuntarily inhale it right into her poor little nose while Parappa eagerly shoved his tentacle-spoon right back into his pocket and readied himself to jump right into her left nostril right as she was just about ready to blow (and by blow, I mean sneeze, of course)!

"AAH...AAAAH...AAAAAAH..." Lammy began cringing and shaking in her sleep; right after the third AAH, Parappa valiantly shouted GERONIMO and did a cannonball dive right into her nose!

"AAAH-CHOOOOOO!" Lammy sneezed violently in her sleep, effectively blowing Parappa (who was now covered from head to toe with gooey, sticky, disgustingly dripping mucus) right out of her nose and onto her chest as he promptly began cleaning himself...with his tongue.

"Mucus here, mucus there, mucus in my HAIR!" Parappa sang happily as he fervently picked and licked what to him must've been at least half a solid gallon's worth of snot off of his surprisingly (and rather unfortunately) still fully-clothed body, scooped it right up into his dirty, nasty and grimy little hands, and unhesitatingly engorged himself on it like a fat kid engorges himself on chocolate, licking the snot off of his lips and patting his belly in just such a way that it caused the raw semi-liquid essence of Lammy's putrid, slimy and oh-so-wonderfully-viscous mucus to smear all over his signature shirt in such an incredibly distasteful and just-plain-sickeningly-gross fashion that even Filthy Frank himself would quite frankly be almost-unspeakably disgusted by it. And believe me, things are only going to get nastier from here...