Washington D.C.—

Following the news that Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy is retiring and that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell will push for a replacement as soon as possible, the political world immediately noted the astounding hypocrisy of McConnell’s earlier obstinate refusal to allow former President Obama to replace Justice Antonin Scalia because Election 2016 was a year away

This time around, the Supreme Court vacancy is only months away from the midterm election, and McConnell’s blatant disregard for the precedent he himself set is more proof that Mr. McConnell is a machiavellian turtle king of bullshit.

Mr. McConnell, a man of carefully considered, few words was asked for a comment about the sheer hypocrisy of his reasoning, and offered only a single sentence:

“This Supreme Court vacancy is way different than Obama’s last one because f*** you.”

Then Mr. McConnell grabbed a large banana peel and stuffed it into his koopa shell, hopped into a go-kart with Yoshi, and sped off down toward Princess Peach’s castle.

(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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