The sound of the nurses words as she told me I could leave echoed thru my ears over and over as I decided I wanted to walk all the way home.

“Mam, no one has called, none of your family has checked on you.”

Just 12 hours earlier they were all just oh so concerned that they needed to send a mountain of an army to my house to “force” me to go to a hospital that I did not need to go to.

They believed that having at least twenty different people bang on my door was both okay, and the right way to handle their “concern” in front of both of my small children.

There plea to the police was not concern, it was and always will be judgement.

It was to them, “The lesson they were teaching me”

It was to them, “The cop out, literally by a cop.”

It was easier for them to allow the police, fire dept, and EMT’s to beat down my door, belittle me, and threaten me, then it was for them to pick up the phone and call me.

Addiction is hard, recovery is harder, but relapse is the hardest.

I sat in a room begging to be able to check on my children.

I sat in a room where being threatened with shots, restraints, and being held down if I did not “allow” them to perform tests, that they had absolutely no medical necessity to even perform.

I sat in a room, and cried for hours because the thought of my children seeing an EMT worker scream at me in front of them was the worst thing imaginable for me.

I sat in a room, where a doctor violated every single human right I had.

I sat in a room, where both a nurse and nurse supervisor violated every single human right I had.

I sat in a room and waited over 12 hours, for a psychiatrist to lift a 72 hour hold that an uncaring ER doctor placed on me, for the sole reason of I had questioned his superiority, because I knew I had rights, and I knew that he and his entire staff were in fact violating them.

After a 2 minute conversation with a psychiatrist I had never met, I was let go.

As the nurse handed me my discharge papers she said, “Do you want me to call someone to come get you?”

I asked, “Did any of my family even call to see if I was okay?”

“No sweety, none of your family called, no one has called to check on you” was her response as she looked down.

“I’ll walk, but thank you”