It is finished (John 19:30).

No one can escape the finality of those words. Jesus of Nazareth is dead. It seems strange to think the people of that time could have so blindly missed the fact that Jesus loved them? He healed them, fed them, taught them, raised them from the dead, and in the end, gave every last drop of blood for them. How could they turn away from his love and treat him so cruelly?

If you’re divorced, no doubt you can commiserate with Jesus. The word, “divorce” carries a similar weight of finality. Not every spouse whose marriage ends this way is an abandoned spouse, but for those who are and for those who were forced to leave because of abusive situations, they may find themselves asking those same questions. I gave you everything… how could you turn away from my love? How could you treat me so cruelly?

So many people are bearing heavy crosses because of divorce and are at a loss as to how they can ever move past the devastation. As mentioned in my Holy Thursday post, I believe the best way to find consolation in your suffering is to unite it to Christ’s and focus on him. And since today is Good Friday, you have the perfect model to look to, the example par excellence to contemplate in how to bear the anguish and sorrow you bear at this moment… with love.

In your mind’s eye, look at Jesus hanging on that cross. He has suffered the greatest injustice of all time. After everything he endured leading up to this point, he hangs naked on a rough tree, splinters edging into the bloody, flesh-torn mess that is his back as he struggles to push himself a little higher so he can catch a breath. Every ounce of strength, every drop of blood is willingly – lovingly – sacrificed for those who are spitting on him and mocking him.

If Jesus can forgive those who have done this to him, then we can have confidence there is a way for us to forgive our offenders. That may be a bitter pill to swallow for many, and that’s okay, it’s a perfectly normal human reaction. But, however insulting the idea of forgiving your ex-spouse or anyone else who was involved in the demise of your marriage may seem to you, it must be done. It’s a pivotal step in the healing process and you won’t be able to move forward without taking it.

So, I just have this simple call to action for you, today. Lay the burden of your bitterness and sorrow at the foot of the cross, and ask God for the humility and grace to forgive as he has forgiven.

Before Jesus said, “It is finished”, he said, “I thirst.” He thirsts for souls; yours, mine, and your ex-spouse’s. On this Good Friday as you contemplate Jesus in all his suffering, ask him to give you the grace to be willing to forgive. Open yourself to him, and let him help you overcome this obstacle to your healing. You will never regret it.