This dystopian toilet is tilted forward so you can’t get too comfortable (Provider: StandardToilet)

The era of luxuriously long loo breaks could be coming to an end.

Toilet designers have unveiled a new tilted design which is angled so it becomes unbearably uncomfortable to sit on after a few minutes.

The ‘Standard Toilet’ is created by a company of the same name and has been backed by the British Toilet Association.

This joyless john is sloped forward by 13 degrees so that perching on it puts a similar level of strain on the legs as performing a squat thrust.


It’s claimed that people can only bear to sit on it for five minutes at a time.



In a statement, Standard Toilet claimed toilet breaks cost British businesses an estimated £4 billion every year.

‘With the advent of flexible zero-hour contracts it is easy to see why our StandardToilet can be an asset to a business.’ said developer Mahabir Gill.

As well as the clear benefits to sadistic bosses, Gill claimed the toilet could help boost the health of people who used it.

‘Medical studies have suggested that using the traditional WC can cause swollen haemorrhoids and weakening of pelvic muscles,’ he added.

‘The StandardToilet provides Increased comfort through promoting the engagement of upper and lower leg muscles which helps reduce musculoskeletal disorders.’

On social media, it’s fair to say the toilet has not been welcomed with open arms.

Ash Presto, an academic at the University of the Philippines, wrote: ‘Ohhhhh, capitalism doing what it does best – exploitation of workers.

‘Imagine having a universal need like relieving yourself in the toilet made uncomfortable by your employers just to fully utilise your full labour power, which this system considers as just another commodity.’

A joke account named Kim Thot Un also tweeted: ‘The year is 2036. The Amazon toilet tilt has exceeded 90°. I’m being paid to shit on my own balls. The balls stink and [tech firms] still don’t pay taxes.’

An anonymous Twitter user then added: ‘I’m inventing a toilet for overpaid business owners that makes them pay more taxes.’