It's too hot.

Obviously it's time to weigh our options for cooling down the city.

And by options, we all know we only have one.

And that's to turn the Sunsphere into an oscillating fan.

It's not hard to see all the benefits.

It'll cool down the city.

It'll be a new twist on an old attraction in Knoxville.

It'll show nature who's boss. (Us.) How many other man-made structures on this planet change the surrounding environment?

It'll probably kill some gross bugs that get hit by the fan blades.

It'll make nice white noise that will help me go to sleep at night. It's hard enough already with the too bright street lights but that's another petition for another day.

The cons?

The fan blades would probably kill a cool bird or two. We can remedy this by having respectful funerals for the birds that die.

That's it.

So join me and let's petition the city to turn the Sunsphere into an oscillating fan. Let's get the temperature below 80!!!!!