In the past six years, we’ve had four parents die. All required extensive caregiving. Three had a combination of care from us and eventually nursing homes.

For one, we were able to care for her in her home until the end by tag-teaming with my husband’s siblings and hospice. (She was also the only one who didn’t have dementia, which made her care much easier.)

None had in-home health care aides because we couldn’t afford them. That’s the irony here; even the low wage of $160 per day is way beyond most of us.

— Lauren Holmes lives near Detroit

Anguish and anxiety while caring for the dying

My father had a stroke and I took care of him for the next five years around the clock. The strange combination of tasks mixed with the constant uncertainty creates a level of anxiety that is impossible to describe. I have to applaud anyone who does this as a career.

When you’re related to the person involved, it just sort of happens and you never know for how long (and you do tell yourself, just one more day, week, month, year).

— John Pagan, Highland, Ill.

For only 10 months, I took care of my mother who had dementia. It was not like taking care of a baby.

Often it was a question of getting my mother up to go to the bathroom, or maybe getting five hours of sleep and doing three extra hours of laundry the next morning because she wet the bed. She went through an approximately two-month phase where she got up four times every night.

I thought I would lose my mind from exhaustion. It felt like I had two people in my head all the time, as I was thinking and acting for her every need.