Welcome to the first article in a long line of terrible decisions and even worse dice rolls. I kid… mostly, at least.

In Adventures in Random Roleplaying (ARR! for short – you may recognize this as the noise the poor sod running your game makes when you ruin their plans) we’re going to look at injecting a lively bit of Random into your tabletop gaming every Thursday on Dashingnerds.com.

In each article, we’ll build on the previous until we have a bizarre set of pre-generated characters, a dungeon, important non-player characters, and a full plot for you and your table (or play by post community, if that’s your thing) to run with. You’ll even have crisp, clean handouts to give your players.

We’re kicking off our flagship adventure by taking a taste of Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition. Why? Well, it’s been a grand return to form for Dungeons and Dragons, and 5th Edition has had time to grow as role-playing games do. It doesn’t hurt that it also has more optional random tables than a backyard wrestling match at a Magic the Gathering tournament. Now, plenty of folks will line up to do battle over the pros and cons of DnD’s random ability scores option. I have personally witnessed both the max ability score behemoth and the wastrel who would break a bone in a stiff breeze. If you’re looking for an emergent story built around conflicting abilities, it can be a great way to go.

That’s not what we’re doing.

We’re actually making random tables for three of the characteristics that DnD doesn’t have them for; Race, Class, and Background. Randomizing these three things gives us unique characters that we don’t have to feel are hobbled from playing the game effectively. They won’t likely be optimized, but they won’t be limited to “joke” characters either. While Argyle the bodybuilding Sorcerer with the Strength of a Titan and the Charisma of a turnip can be hilarious to play (and oddly effective with the Wild Magic path), our approach is meant to give you characters that you’d never expect to play while letting them remain competent.

With that said, here is our table.

Race Class Background Dwarf 1 Cleric 1 Acolyte 1 Elf 2 Druid 2 Charlatan 2 Halfling 3 Fighter 3 Criminal 3 Human 4 Monk 4 Entertainer 4 Dragonborn 5 Paladin 5 Folk Hero 5 Gnome 6 Ranger 6 Gladiator 6 Half-Elf 7 Rogue 7 Guild Artisan 7 Half-Orc 8 Sorcerer 8 Guild Merchant 8 Tiefling 9 Warlock 9 Hermit 9 Aasimar 10 Wizard 10 Knight 10 Firbolg 11 Noble 11 Goliath 12 Outlander 12 Lizardfolk 13 Pirate 13 Tabaxi 14 Sage 14 Triton 15 Sailor 15 Yuan-ti Pureblood 16 Soldier 16 Warforged 17 Spy 17 Changeling 18 Urchin 18 Shifter 19 Roll Again 19 Minotaur 20 Roll Again 20

If the race/species list looks a little different than you expected, that’s because it includes the major races from the Volo’s Guide expansion. It also includes the Eberron and Waterborne supplements that Wizards of the Coast put out as Unearthed Arcana (unofficial content.) There’s been a lot of great support for 5th Edition so far with multiple adventures and their Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide. With Xanathar’s guide to everything officially out on the 21st of November (check your friendly local game store, they may it as of November 10th!), the possibilities grow even larger.

And so, here are our six Player Characters, as dictated by the will of the dice.

Player 1: Halfling – Warlock – Hermit

Player 2: Warforged – Ranger – Entertainer

Player 3: Tiefling – Druid – Urchin

Player 4: Human – Fighter – Sailor

Player 5: Half-Orc – Paladin – Soldier

Player 6: Dwarf – Monk – Acolyte

Your cast of six hapless fools intrepid adventurers for your perusal. Come on back next Thursday as we delve into their Backgrounds, flesh them out a bit, and give them a proper name. In the meantime, remember…

STAY RANDOM!

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