Motherhood is an embarrassing and humbling venture. It starts from the moment you climb into the stirrups for your first dilation check… and, for me, apparently it’s not going to be over any time soon. And you can’t just ignore her, because then she gets bored and climbs under the stalls, and what are you gonna do, chase after her? The things they don’t teach you in books.

(In Momoese, a ‘stinky poop’ is just a regular Number Two, because everything that comes out of her is a ‘poop’, including burps. THE MORE YOU KNOW. Kids are gross, potty training is gross, verbal toddlers are hilarious.)

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As an aside, a new indie game came out this week: That Dragon, Cancer. It’s the story of Joel Green, who was diagnosed with terminal cancer at twelve months old. It was developed by his parents to memorialize the four years he fought cancer. I hope you all know exactly what I mean when I say I’m probably never going to be able to play the game — I tear up just reading the description — but surely there are people of stronger constitution than I, and I wanted to let folks know about it anyway!