If you happened to take a sick day on Thursday to catch House of Cards' return to Netflix, there's every possibility you would have been very confused by the Internet you returned to. Llamas? Dresses? What is this strange new world? Don't worry, the answers are below, along with primers on the FCC net neutrality vote, awkward post-Oscar comments that meant well, and why emojis are more complicated than it might appear at first. Here are the weirdest moments from the last week on the World Wide Web. (But, seriously: that dress, though.)

What's the Opposite of Hung Up, Anyway?

What Happened: Madonna's triumphant return to the Brit Awards ended up being a bit of a crashing disaster. Emphasis on the "crashing."

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: Well, it all started with a massive fall during her performance of "Living for Love" (watch above).

It was a tumble heard around the Internet, with everyone offering a weird schaudenfreude over what looked like a pretty painful fall. Twitter, of course, was far more understanding:

Madonna took to Instagram to explain what had actually happened soon after:

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Let it be noted, however, that she still managed to finish the song as if nothing had happened. That woman's a professional.

The Takeaway: The moral of this story? Despite the many jeers from Twitter, it's not "never wear a cape onstage," but one far simpler: Never perform at the Brit Awards. Does no one remember this?

Vote For Me and I'll Set You Free

What Happened: Ending months (years, really) of debate, activism, and outright scaremongering, the FCC finally voted on the issue of net neutrality on Thursday. The Internet, as you might expect, had opinions.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: Congratulations, Internet: you're now a utility, after the Federal Communications Commission passed new rules governing the control of the Internet, apparently (according to more than one think piece) at the behest of John Oliver. The ruling ended months of campaigning on behalf of both sides: free speech advocates and President Obama one one of them, and cable companies and Republicans on the other. At least one cable company was prepared to publicly respond to the decision, with Verizon complaining via morse code that the vote was imposing "rules on broadband Internet services that were written in the era of the steam locomotive and the telegraph."

They weren't the only ones unhappy with the way things turned out, with Time and Fox News united in their grumbling, albeit for different reasons. (Fox, amusingly, called the ruling the "worst example of government intervention... ever," which we can probably all agree is a victory for hyperbole everywhere.) Comcast, meanwhile, is said to be considering legal action, while Netflix—which had been active in the discussion prior to the vote—explained that, in a battle between consumers and ISPs, "consumers win."

On Twitter, the reaction was... well, about what you'd expect, really:

The Takeaway: We can all wish the FCC some congratulations on a job well done, right? Unless, of course, you happen to own a cable company or inherently believe that government oversight is the first step towards an inevitable fascist conspiracy, in which case it's clearly the end of the world and you have our condolences.

No, Please, Someone Needs To Talk To Her About Privilege

What Happened: Patricia Arquette decided to use her Academy Awards win as a platform to promote equal wages between genders ... and then, to the upset of many, kept talking about the issue off-stage.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: When Patricia Arquette used her Oscar win for Boyhood to draw attention to the lack of equal rights and pay for women, it made a lot of people very happy (as the cheering and applause in the audience suggested). Unfortunately, Arquette then upset many of those same people with later comments, when she said it was "time for all the women in America and all the men that love women, and all the gay people, and all the people of color that we've fought for to fight for us now."

Needless to say the backlash quickly got underway, with think pieces pointing out how offensive Arquette's latter comments were, while Twitter took to pointing out how ill-considered they were in other areas:

Arquette herself took to Twitter to defend herself, albeit in a way equally as clumsily as the comments that got her in trouble in the first place:

While the Internet tried to analyze what we should learn from the backlash (Spoilers: "Don't be insensitive" wasn't on there), future Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton showed the actress some support, while wrestler A.J. Lee spoke out about the lack of pay equality amongst WWE employees.

The Takeaway: It's tempting to be distracted by Arquette's inability to see that arguing "Hey, other minorities, stick up for us as payback" was clumsy—and the less said about the "don't talk to me about privilege," the better—but watching the backlash fade while the equal pay campaign continues (and, perhaps, grows) suggests it's an issue that will deservedly get more attention in the upcoming weeks and months as we head into a presidential campaign. That, at least, is about time.

Insert Non-Smiley Face Here

What Happened: Apple finally reacts to criticism about its lack of racial diversity in its emojis.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: File under: "Why Did This Take So Long?" Apple has announced that the next version of its iOS will come with 300 new emojis, including six different skin tones. While many were happy for the change (especially considering that same-sex couples and parents would be represented as well), it wasn't an entirely unanimous reaction. Maybe it was the bright yellow faces that unnerved some, or perhaps for others—like Alpesh Patel of Oju, a company that has been making Afro-centric emoji for some time—it's simply that the company's attempts are too little, too late (and maybe missing the point altogether).

The Takeaway: If we're looking to a multi-national company to lead the way in terms of diversity, maybe we're doing it wrong. And yet, it's nice to see them trying nonetheless, and the attempts should be appreciated. Maybe split the difference and think that it's a nice move, even if one that should have come about earlier?

That Time When the World Stopped to Watch Llamas

What Happened: That headline says it all, really.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter

What Really Happened: On the face of it, it was the simplest of stories: Two llamas got loose in Sun City, Arizona, and the local authorities tried to catch them. Surprisingly, it was a simple story that caught the attention of the Internet, prompting international news coverage (plus, of course, the pre-requisite BuzzFeed quiz) and a lot of excitement on Twitter:

The Takeaway: The fact that that simple story ended up going viral online means one of two things: Thursday was an astonishingly slow news day for the Internet, or the Internet really loves llamas. Given that Thursday was also the day of the FCC net neutrality vote, it definitely wasn't a slow news day.

The Internet and Its Amazing Technicolor Dream Dress

What Happened: Apparently, it's very difficult to tell what color a dress is online.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, Tumblr, media think pieces

What Really Happened: It all started with this simple Tumblr post, which showed a photo of a dress and asked "is this dress white and gold, or blue and black?" You'd think that would be straightforward enough, but apparently not; Tumblr was suddenly overrun with responses, both on the original post and elsewhere. Before too long things had spread to Twitter (blame Taylor Swift, although perhaps Mindy Kaling has a hand in this as well):

The Takeaway: Wait, you guys see a dress?