Clarione Gutierrez, 35

When Clarione met Adam, he never thought that Adam would even notice him, much less want to be his friend. After all, Clarione thought that Adam was charming, smart, incredibly attractive, and he had a very big following of admirers. So, in an effort to keep Adam’s attention, Clarione started to change who he was in hopes that Adam would like him more.

“I pretended to have the same interests,” Clarione said. “I laughed when he thought things were funny – even though I didn’t. He told me about his troubles and I felt lucky to be the one who could help him. I had convinced myself that he was going to take a chance on me and that I would be the one to change him. I had fallen in love with the idea of who he could be for me. And when the fantasy started to fade and his responses weren’t what I wanted them to be, I still hung on to my delusions. Then in a single irrational moment, I broke my own heart.”

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But in years after the wake of his heartbreak, Clarione learned that the real him was worth it the whole time.

“I probably wouldn’t have believed it, but I learned that people will like me for who I am. The truth is, people already did. The pretension may shine a bright light for a moment, but people will always be attracted to someone who is genuine. I don’t have to worry about getting everybody’s attention and the recognition I deserve. Ironically, it comes from just being myself and when I am not aspiring for it.”