A parade of red flags

5 types of clients to watch out for as a freelancer

It’s always fun to talk to a freelancer after they’ve just landed a big project.

They’ll be excited. They’ll be nervous. They won’t listen to you when you talk to back to them — too busy thinking through how they’ll organise the project and, of course, what all those zeroes will look like on their invoice.

Try as I might to be as excited as them, it’s in my nature to ask more questions.

Despite it’s brashness, the first one I usually reach for is ‘What did the client actually say?’

People are highlight reel making machines. Maybe it’s because of social media, or the internet, or plain-old television, but too many people focus exclusively on the highlights.

Freelancing, like all business, is about people. About communication, and language, and the nuances inherent therein.

What I want when I ask this question is a literal retelling of the conversation.

Because there’s no free lunch. Because some things are too good to be true. Because people only hear what they’re listening for.

Large projects (in budget and scope) have the uncanny ability to consume large parts of your life. Very few superstars can achieve wild fees for simple work. And for the rest of us, that means that a large project will likely be a large commitment.

And so, just to make sure I’ve got everything right, I’ll repeat back to the freelancer what I heard.

They’ll be shocked. They’ll suddenly hear the importance and risk of the project. They’ll hear how poorly the client values the work (yes, even despite its importance). They’ll hear my remarkable lack of excitement.

Being able to detect red flags comes with a lot of practice. Not at pitching, or doing sales calls, or networking. But at listening. Hearing something you’re not listening for is hard work at first.

So here are 5 red flags that myself and those I’ve worked with have seen over and over again — keep your ears peeled.

Red Flag 1: I know exactly what I need

The fastest way to burnout as a freelancer is to work with a client who knows exactly what they need.

Here’s the truth — they don’t.

Doing work for someone with strong opinions about your field of expertise is a doomed enterprise.

These types of clients will have you looking over your shoulder, explaining every decision twice, being afraid to get creative.

When someone hands down a specific and rigid list of expectations, it’s hard to get the creative juices flowing.

They’ll want you to justify every decision you make in terms of techniques, theories, and approaches. But here’s the thing — clients lack the foundational knowledge necessary to understand what you’ve chosen to do and why. It’s an endless exercise in frustration.

The key word to listen for to determine if a potential client is of this sort is just.

You just have to … We just need a … Why cant you just? …

The client has decided that they know enough about your field and that whatever they need you to do is simple. Which means that you’ll never be in a position to deliver true value to them.

Red Flag 2: The last freelancer was useless

Freelancers and clients both come in a range of flavours. And while there’s no guarantees that the last person on the project wasn’t totally useless, this is a red flag you should listen carefully for.

When a client says a throw away remark about the work of the last person to do your job, they’re really saying a number of things.

They’re saying that they have no idea how to pick freelancers for this task (which should make you think seriously about whether or not you’re right for the project).

They’re saying that they have no idea how to work with and manage freelancers with your skills.

And they’re saying that they don’t mind ruining reputations.

Who’s to say that you won’t run into that freelancer in the future and not make a connection that would serve you both because of what this client said?

Who’s to say that the situation won’t be reversed when the client fires you and hires someone else?

At the very least this kind of thing is just bad business.

It’s easy to not hear this one because we all like to swoop in and save the day, and that necessitates something going wrong in the first place.

But be careful about working with clients who don’t value the reputations of people they’ve worked with — they may not value yours either.

Red Flag 3: Back to the Future

Have you ever had a client promise you higher paying, more interesting, more portfolio-worthy work in the future? It’s happened to all of us.

When you’re just getting started these promises can sound plausible.

The client will talk about how they’re about to close a funding round, how there are some pressing problems that need to be solved before the greenfield opens up, how if you could just help them out this time, there’ll be lots of opportunity for you in the future.

Here’s what you do when you’re speaking to a client like this:

Stop the conversation Get in your time machine Set the dial for the day after the funding round closes Call the client and get to work on the super-interesting, highly-paid work

N.B. For those of you without a time machine, you’ll just have to say no to these types of clients — you have better things to do than toil away your hours on uninteresting, poorly-paid work.

Red Flag 4: The brainpicker

Do you have 30 minutes to hop on a quick call?

Does anyone have time for arbitrary length calls with no agenda?

There are two types of brainpicker.

The first is someone with a very low value problem.

They’re interested in trying things out or exploring the possibilities.

Because they’re not in a rush, they assume you’re not. They take all the time they need to dip tortilla chips in to your grey matter before signing a contract.

The second, and most dangerous to your motivation and enthusiasm, is the time-block brainpicker.

Someone who, because their calendaring software allows them to, sets up arbitrary length, endlessly repeating, notification sending meetings for you to talk about ideas. Or to ‘check in’.

If you’ve priced the project on a fixed-fee basis this kind of thing is very, very dangerous. For one, you’re not actually making any money while you’re doing this — it’s decimating your effective hourly rate.

Moreover, these kinds of conversations are breeding grounds for scope creep. The exact right setting for you or the client to have an insight that changes the direction of the project you’re working on.

And while it can feel great to get involved in this level of discussion, there’s already a model for this kind of conversation and it’s called consulting.

If you get the feeling that the soon-to-be-client is a brainpicker, try to include a packaged (and priced) pre-project component for discovery. Sometimes clients like this just don’t know what they really need, so help them figure it out.

And once the strategic phase is over, let them know that additional calls of the same kind will be chargeable at your hourly consulting rate.

You’ll get much less calls and make much more money from them. Win win.

Red Flag 5: The late night lead

People with expensive problems often have dark nights of the soul. They’ll sit up at night Googling around for answers. And maybe they’ll find your website and reach out to you.

If you find yourself wanting to reply to a lead after work hours, stop.

This sets a dangerous precedent.

For one thing it demonstrates that you might be desperate — never a good look. For another it shows that you have no boundaries.

To the type of client who reaches out to you after work hours, getting a response from you before the next work day begins is a signal that you’re a partner in crime.

Someone for them to complain to, to harass after work, to demand overtime from. Someone whose brain is ripe for the picking.

Do yourself, your family and your clients a favour — wait until morning to respond to a lead.

What do you think?

Have you missed these red flags in the past and regretted not listening for them? Are there any red flags that I’ve forgotten to mention? Let me know.