Twitter user Amy Rios only had a few hundred followers this month when she fired out a simple call to action: “Write the saddest story you can using only 4 words.”

The creative writing assignment has since been retweeted more than 500 times and favourited more than 1,200 times, spawning countless bleak narratives, ranging from hilarious to depressing.



“Ladies and gentlemen, Nickelback!”

“Storage is almost full.”

“I shaved for nothing.”

“She loved me less.”

With hockey minds quick to jump on all things Twitter, of course the parlor game has trickled into NHL discourse.

In honour of Ms. Rios’s challenge, we present the first NHL Power Rankings: Sad Stories in 4 Words Edition — a tragic tale for each the league’s 30 clubs. A power rankings column only 120 words long? Sign me up.