This story contains everything I hate about modern life: call out culture, company cowardice and people eating on subways.

So, writer Natasha Tynes – let’s call her “Fink” – tweeted a photo of a Washington, D.C., subway employee eating on the train, and reported her to her Metro bosses, saying, "I thought we were not allowed to eat on the train. This is unacceptable."

TWITTER PERMANENTLY SUSPENDS AOC PARODY ACCOUNT FOR BEING MISLEADING

Transit officials thanked her - but of course, social media backlash ensued.

And I get it: even though eating on a train is banned, no one likes a tattletale.

But then the writer’s publisher, a book company, halted printing of her book, citing her finking on...a black worker.

Did you see that new variable? Yep – if things weren't already a barrel of nonsense, the outrage-addicted media had to add race to the mix .

So California Coldblood Books, who stopped the printing, say they hope Natasha learns that black women feel the effects of systematic racism the most.

So there it is: everything that makes the present day a drag - all wrapped into one story. Annoying busybodies who use Twitter to exercise power, government employees breaking rules we gotta follow, and of course knee-jerk, instantaneous calls of racism.

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The only thing that could make this story more annoying, more depressing, and more stupid, is if somehow we worked the group Maroon 5 into it.

(Strains of Maroon 5 song “She Will Be Loved” begins to play …)

Well done.

Adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s monologue on “The Five” on May 13, 2019.

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