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“For me, defining his actions is not as important as understanding them,” she wrote. “What leads an individual to go down the path of hate, to become close-minded and intolerant? For me it is in understanding this path that lies most of the solution. We all try to fit things in tidy little boxes, but nothing is ever that simple. I am afraid of those who see the world in black and white, for it is more complex, a combination of many things.

“So my son was a terrorist, but he was not just that, he still found beauty in birds and nature.”

Ms. Bibeau also wrote of the trouble she’s had coming to terms with her son’s actions and the responsibility she feels as his mother.

What he did is wrong and ugly and that will never be erased or changed. I will live with that the rest of my life

“What he did is wrong and ugly and that will never be erased or changed. I will live with that the rest of my life,” she wrote.

“I read a post from Mrs. Cirillo and thought to myself how she sounded like a beautiful person. Even more unfair. I do feel responsibility in that I was not able to bring my son to happiness, fulfillment and to create rather than to destroy. He chose to die and to hurt others at the same time. That is a choice I don’t understand nor accept. Individual choices do not give the right to trample on others. I hope my son finds in death the peace he did not find, nor give in life. While I hate what he did, I don’t hate him. Hate is negative and destructive, part of what made Michael who he was.”

Ms. Bibeau has previously said she believed her son’s attack was the “last desperate act” of a mentally ill person who acted out of despair, but Comm. Paulson told the committee Friday that police weren’t focusing their investigation on his mental state.