SCP-1822

Item #: SCP-1822

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Containment Procedures outdated, please see below. SCP-1822 has been shown to uniformly permeate 100% of the observable universe, and therefore cannot be contained. Thankfully, SCP-1822 does not pose a significant risk to the public or Foundation operations. Therefore, containment efforts are to be focused on minimizing knowledge of the extent of SCP-1822's properties. Foundation agents stationed in various sites of interest such as places of academia, statistics and research laboratories are to monitor and report any findings that may lead to the discovery of SCP-1822's anomalous qualities.

Additionally, personnel who are involved with scientific publication of research related to SCP-1822 are to utilize disinformation campaigns and "data dredging" to minimize the amount of factual data that is released to the public.

+ ACCESS REVISED CONTAINMENT PROTOCOL - Following the events of Incident Log 1822.1, testing with SCP-1822 is restricted to observation only. At no time are any Kant-Sennheiser Kismet Probability counters to be placed inside reality-warping or conceptually/causally unstable environments. Reclassification to object subclass Euclid-Kudzu pending administrative approval.

Description: SCP-1822 is the designation for a set of anomalous empirical proofs derived from common laws and axioms of mathematical statistics, physics, and chemistry, including some power laws, Zipf's law, the Pareto principle, the Stefan–Boltzmann law, and the Rayleigh–Jeans law which show an unexplained proportionality between unrelated phenomena and present in large sets of data. SCP-1822 implies that ██.█:██.█ is universally constant throughout many seemingly random forms of probabilistic scenarios and qualia , and therefore gives rise to predictable patterns of behavior in systems that should otherwise be highly variable. This has led to the establishment of the Kismet Probability, a measurement of the chance of positive outcome, a phenomenon known colloquially as "luck". To date, the Foundation has been actively trying to suppress knowledge of SCP-1822 for over two centuries. The first recorded knowledge of SCP-1822 that was confiscated was a set of Greek texts from ████ B.C.E., describing the nature of the anomaly and posits several theories into the origin of the phenomenon. SCP-1822 has no discernible source, although explorations into alternate realities reveal [DATA REDACTED, SEE BELOW] .

Additional Materials

Addendum 1822.1: Interview Logs / Excerpts

+ ACCESS 1822-043/IN-01-8 cd.. The following is a series of relevant interviews, snippets and excerpts pertaining to SCP-1822. Interviewee: George Rosenthal

Interviewer: Dr. H. Alexander

Date: 3/██/19██

Preface: Mr. Rosenthal is an agriculturalist from ██████, Wisconsin. Rosenthal reportedly came across evidence of SCP-1822 while reviewing purchase, inventory and quality reports of various crops he was cultivating. Subject reportedly spoke openly about the phenomenon on a public forum, prompting Foundation investigation. Subject released post interview upon application of Class-B Amnestics. [EXTRANEOUS DIALOGUE REMOVED] Dr. Alexander: And how exactly did this come to your attention? Rosenthal: I mean, how do you not notice? ██% of my crop contains ██% of my earnings, the top ██% of the people that buy from me make up ██% of all purchases, hell, even ██% of the plants themselves hold ██% of the total number of vegetables on the vines. How does that make sense? Dr. Alexander: It is unusual, isn't it? Your testimony will help us better understand the phenomenon. Rosenthal: You guys are scientists? Dr. Alexander: More or less. Rosenthal: So, what do you guys think it is? Dr. Alexander: That information is classified, although I can say that we are hoping it is explainable with our current understanding of statistical analysis. It is possible that it is simply a coincidence. Rosenthal: [laughs] Coincidence? I've never seen something so far away from coincidence in my whole life, doc. I see it everywhere now. ██% of Americans hold ██% of all wealth. Did you know that? No, this ain't coincidence. Whatever it is, it's everywhere, out there, in the background of it all. Something like gravity, you know? Ever present. Dr. Alexander: Noted. I think that just about covers it. Thank you for report. Rosenthal: No problem. Oh, and, doc? Dr. Alexander: Yes? Rosenthal: Be safe. It's a strange world out there. Dr. Alexander: That it is. [END LOG] From: Dr. H. Alexander [halexander@scipnet]

To: Sr. Researcher Davis [ndavis@scipnet]

Re: SCP-1822 I think I've got it worked out. People like to give our universe a bad rap, but in all reality things are pretty okay. From a purely biological standpoint, we humans are thriving. Sure, we may have two hundred ticking time bombs locked in boxes across the biosphere, but we are alive. The chances of human life making it this far without being annihilated is, well, let's just say we are lucky on a base scale. Where am I going with this? Well, the presence of SCP-1822 has never been a bad thing. It has always pointed out in favor of the individual. Who would have thought that you can achieve ██% more if you give ██% the effort? That good things happen to you ██% of the time? Maybe this thing is like the gravitational constant. If so, maybe we should take a closer look at elementary particles- more specifically of any instances of SCP-1822 at the most fundamental scale, see if it possible to manipulate or detect, then move outward from there. What do you think? Dr. H. Alexander, Site-83 Theoretical Anomalies Department From: Sr. Researcher Davis [ndavis@scipnet]

To: Dr. H. Alexander [halexander@scipnet]

Re: Re: SCP-1822 Dr. Alexander, Funny you should mention elementary particles, I just received a report that one of our Agents at CERN detected possible SCP-1822 activity during recent particle accelerator testing. Let me forward it to you now. Regards, Sr. Researcher Davis



Fwd: Particle Accelerator Testing Nadia, Latest results of testing confirms a likelihood of SCP-1822 in the behavior of certain particles. Specifically, strange D mesons (D s ) retain consistent mass ██% of the time. Their contained charm quarks act similarly, with ██% displacement due to quantum effects ██% of the elapsed time. I won't bore you with the jargon, but I'll tell you this: it's big news. Take the data I'm sending you and get it to the Physics department, have them analyze it. Maybe you can get permission to use SCP-536 for testing. Either way, portable analysis of mesons is perfectly feasible with our current levels of technology. Good luck. Hoffman Proposal 1822-Alpha

Date: ██/██/████

Project Lead: Dr. Robert Sennheiser Objective: Develop portable device capable of displaying Kismet Probability by detecting the chance of quantum effects on atomic and subatomic particles.



Requested Resources: - Access to SCP-536 for testing purposes

- Access to SCP-████ to create unbounded false vacuum inside device

- Access to SCP-2700 for analysis

- Materials necessary to construct device

- 25 D-Class Personnel for experimentation Project Details: Using information gathered from decades of statistical analysis and interpretation of raw data from CERN, a prototype model Kant-Sennheiser counter will be constructed. Creation of a small (.3µm) unbounded vacuum non-dimension via use of SCP-████ is possible, which will be retrofitted into a small chassis with the use of a Lang-Scranton Spacial Stabilizer. The device will be equipped with 256 microsensitive D-Meson detecting units, to be fixed in a circle around the vacuum inside of device. Extensive testing of device will take place through use of SCP-536. Once a control has been established, testing with D-Class Personnel will commence to determine the degree in which the results fluctuate due to changes in reality.

Addendum 1822.2: Project Kismet Overview

+ ACCESS 1822-215/EX-20-3 cd.. On ██/██/████, the first functioning Kant-Sennheiser Kismet Probability Counter was completed. Testing with Hume variations reveal little to no change from baseline, suggesting SCP-1822 is intrinsic to the universe and not modifiable to any degree of certainty. While studying SCP-2700, Dr. Alexander reportedly brought the device into SCP-2400. When checking diagnostics, it was revealed that SCP-1822 had a value of 50.0:50.0 within the confines of the alternate dimension. Upon acquisition of this knowledge, Dr. Alexander applied for Council approval to personally explore and record the SCP-1822 value of other anomalous locations. The request was denied, however, the O5 Council approved construction and field use of further Kant-Sennheiser Counters. Project Kismet was established on ██/██ under direct supervision of the Council, in an attempt to catalogue the SCP-1822 value of alternate realities.

Addendum 1822.3: Kismet Testing Logs

+ ACCESS 1822-069/AX-01-8 cd.. Dimension Kismet Probability Notes Earth ██.█:██.█ Used as a control for the experiment. SCP-2400 50.0:50.0 SCP-2400 appears to be very neutral. Further testing is to be done to confirm the integrity of contained site within. SCP-2317-Prime 19.2:80.8 First recorded reality where the probability does not fall in favor of life. SCP-2759-E 34.0:66:0 Research into how exactly SCP-1822 relates to causality is underway, although it appears to be pretty straightforward- If the Kismet chance is low, suffering is high. At least we probably now know why some interdimensional crossroads tend to devour Mobile Task Forces. DATA CORRUPT 90.5:09.5 DATA CORRUPT SCP-3315-1 DATA CORRUPT DATA CORRUPT DATA CORRUPT ERROR - OUT OF BOUNDS @ LINE: 550

Incident Log 1822.1: On ██/██/████, during routine control testing using SCP-536, Jr. Researcher Edward Wilson reportedly accidentally dropped the device, fracturing the casing isolating the unbounded vacuum inside. The effect was not noticed right away, and the object was placed inside SCP-536 for testing. Over the next week, there were thirty-five reports of personnel involved in workplace accidents, seven containment breaches and an unknown number of equipment failures and data corruptions. Upon checking the device, SCP-1822's value had revealed itself to now be ██.█:██.█. Further attempts to modify this value have failed, and all testing involving SCP-1822 is currently suspended by the O5 Council.