Jewish World Review June 6, 2013/ 28 Sivan, 5773 The Age of the Entitled Woman By Betsy Hart



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The Age of the Entitled Woman.



That we might be living in such an age jumped out at me as I read a recent Wall Street Journal article, "More Doctors Broach Delicate Topic of Women's Age and Fertility Rate." It's a "delicate" topic, apparently, because many women still don't like the fact that as they get older, their fertility drops. As in, goes over a cliff.



That might mean -- gasp! -- choices have to be made.



Today, some 20 percent of women wait until after age 35 to start a family. A growing number. One doctor said he has to find a way to thoughtfully discuss with patients "how they might balance their desires for careers, finding the perfect man and a desire to have children," as the Journal put it.



One might easily expand on that to include "fulfilling" careers and "properly spaced on their terms" children.



The things women are increasingly told by our culture they are (begin ital) entitled (end ital) to.



And yes, any man had better be pretty fabulous so women don't have to "settle." (It used to be called "compromise.") He must be sensitive, willing to change endless diapers and listen to a woman's needs and feelings -- and on and on those expectations go. Just watch daytime TV talk shows to get the list. If, in contrast, you come across a talk show on which a man is saying to his wife, "I need more respect and more sex" -- and he isn't considered a misogynistic boor for doing so -- well, let me know.



At a dinner party a little while ago, I spoke with a woman, about my age, who shared with me her resentment that she couldn't be a partner in her law firm, work 80 hours a week and also be there for her family. So she chose to cut back on work. She felt she should not have been imposed upon to make any such hard choice.



How about considering the fact that she had the privilege of making that choice? Men, including her husband, are the ones who rarely have such options.



Sure it goes without saying -- but I'll say it anyway -- that countless women do not fall into this mold at all. Women who give up much for their families, love imperfect husbands well and are grateful for children even when not spaced or timed perfectly. And sure I'm hardly above an entitlement mentality myself. I wish I could have been a world-traveling reporter, and occasionally feel pangs that, because of my family, that wasn't a real option. Oh well.



Yes to all that. But the fact remains that we live in a culture in which women are increasingly told they have the right to (begin ital) demand life on their terms right now (end ital) and to resent it if they don't get it.



Let's not kid ourselves. The real world simply does not, nor has it ever been expected to, provide the typical man that same luxury.



Anyway, in the end, is living an entitled life what we really want? Maybe not. In "The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness," researchers at The Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania demonstrated in their article of a few years ago that while women's lives have objectively improved over the last 35 years, their rate of self-reported happiness has declined, both absolutely and relative to men.



In fact, the abstract to one draft of the study notes, "The paradox of women's declining relative well-being is found across various datasets, measures of subjective well-being, and is pervasive across demographic groups and industrialized countries." In other words, it is consistent and widespread. Moreover, the trend actually reverses what was true in the 1970s, according to the authors, when women self-reported higher rates of happiness than men did.



The reasons for this are varied, of course. But I fear that we increasingly live in a culture in which women will be, sadly, dismayed to learn that one thing they are not entitled to is ... "happiness."



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