Call yourself an Uber. Hell, get ready to pass out on the couch. The President of these United States is about to address our great nation for approximately 8 minutes (*Author’s note: if he stays on his talking points) and state his case for the necessity of leaving our government — and some 800,000 people’s pay checks — shut down until he can get money for a wall that he’s probably not going to build anyway.

You need a drink after thinking about that? Me too.

So, you’re in luck. Here’s the Official WTH drinking game for tonight’s address. Good luck. Godspeed. Stay well hydrated beforehand.