WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

A local sports fan has informed colleagues today that the Socceroos can win this game tonight, if, they put Tim Cahill on the field.

“Bloody hell it’s frustrating,” the man named Max Holt from Betoota’s Golf Course Estate said in the office today.

The accountant at a bespoke firm in the CBD has told his fellow office inhabitants that Cahill just HAS to come on if we are any chance to qualify for the knockout stages of the World Cup.

The man who still thinks Guus Hiddink is the coach of the national team says the decision is just common sense.

While many around the nation have been left scratching their heads at the omission of Cahill from Australia’s first two games, Holt isn’t in two minds about the merits of the decision.

“Absolutely ludicrous,” he said, writing off all of the factors that the actual Socceroos Coach Bert van Marwijk would be assessing, like how Cahill is training, Cahill’s fitness and Cahill’s distinct lack of football over the recent months.

“Cahill is a big game player!” Holt explained to our reporters, siding with the nation’s iconic Rugby League papers The Daily Telegraph and The Courier Mail in his calls to bring the star into the World Cup Arena for the fourth time.

Colleague Michael Ashton spoke to us about Holt’s comments.

“Look, I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. I am confused as to why Cahill hasn’t been brought onto the field late in our first two games, given they were in the balance and he has an uncanny ability to find the back of the net,” he said.

“We look lost in the final third, and our wingers seem to stop on the edge of the box in order to figure out what pass to play.”

“But, I’m not a coach, and neither are all these fucking nuffies who are watching football for the first time since Brazil 2014. Bert must have some reason for not playing him, but I guess he doesn’t know anything compared to Max in accounts.”