CLICK FOR FULL VERSION

There is no commentary needed on this masterful response to the anti-bacon billboard.

Full text:

May 20, 2014



Cameron Wells

5100 Wisconsin Ave. NW, Suite 400

Washington, DC 20016



Mr. Wells,

Thank you for your recent letter. We really enjoyed the baseball metaphors contained in your letter. Maybe you’re a fan?



You may not be aware of this, but at Coca-Cola Park, home to the Lehigh Valley IronPigs, we feature a myriad of healthy food choices for our fans and we enjoy a strong relationship with several health care providers such as Capital Blue Cross, the Lehigh Valley Health Network, St. Luke’s Hospital and many others. And yes, we also offer many other culinary delights such as hot dogs, French fries, pulled pork, and (sadly, we now know, in your eyes) bacon. You see, we view Coca-Cola Park as the Lehigh Valley’s ballpark. Venues like Coca-Cola Park have replaced places like the old village green or town square where people interact and socialize with one another. Neighbors meet and greet each other at the ballpark, people reacquaint themselves with old friends, or make new friends while taking in a game. For this reason, we try to be as accommodating as possible in providing choices for people to eat and drink. At Coca-Cola Park, there truly is something for everyone.



On a more personal level, we are not in the business or habit of dictating to people what they should or shouldn’t eat or how parents should raise their children. We believe the good people of the Lehigh Valley are more than capable of deciding for themselves what they (and their children) would like to eat while taking in a game on a beautiful summer night at the finest ballpark in America. Whether it’s an ice cold Coca-Cola, an adult beverage, hot dog, salad, or yes, even bacon, we think people are more than capable to make those decisions themselves rather than hearing from you or us what they should or shouldn’t eat. After all, this is still America, is it not?



But just to show there are no hard feelings, we would like to invite you and your organization as our guests to throw out a first pitch before an IronPigs game and enjoy the delicious food offerings at Coca-Cola Park. Who knows, in addition to tempting you with a scrumptious slice of bacon, maybe we can entice you to sample one of our personal favorites, a piece of homemade scrapple! (If you’re not sure what scrapple is, please Google it. We promise, you will not be disappointed!)



Very truly yours,





Joe Finley

Craig Stein