What to do if you encounter a JJ Watt in the wild:

1. Do not panic. He can smell the fear and is drawn to it. It gives him strength

2. Your phone can function as a form of mace. Attempt to take a selfie with Watt in the background. the light should blind him and give you temporary reprieve.

3. Should the Selfie only make him mad, blast loud music, preferably House and Dubstep. It will confuse the Watt.

4. Drop everything you hold to prevent him from strip sacking you, then yell “I HAVE NO TOUCHDOWNS”, he will see you as worthless.

5. If he still yet comes, play sacked. If lucky, the Watt will celebrate and salute the trees, then wander off.

6. But really, just accept your death.