What if there were no transfers? What if everyone just stayed where they are? Would that be so bad? Lots of people would save some money, there would be much less messing around, and the Mill could take a rest from the constant churning, churning, churning. Maybe we could talk about other things. Maybe we could write that novel.



We mention it, at least partly, because going on the transfer whispers on the wind this morning, there might not be too many moves. Diego Costa is apparently ‘willing’ to remain with his current employers, martyr that he is, despite an offer of £600,000-a-week to join Jiangsu Suning; Robert Snodgrass has his eyes on the job at Hull rather than the £4.99 bid made by West Ham; Mauricio Pochettino reckons the lads from the Chinese Super League aren’t sniffing around any of his players. Maybe there really won’t be any transfers.

Here’s one, though. Word in Spain suggests that the prospect of Gerard Piqué moving to England isn’t the most outlandish in the world. And why? Because Shakira, who as you’ll know happens to be married to Gerard, wants him to move away from Barcelona because of all the stick he gets in Catalonia. Apparently she thinks that it’ll all be much nicer in England, which does lead us to think she hasn’t been to England much, but if it means she isn’t so stressed while watching matches, we’re all for it. Who’d be keen? London would be their preferred destination, presumably for either Madame Tussauds or the proliferation of rustic burger joints, so that would be Chelsea or Arsenal. We’ll leave you to decide which is more likely to stump up the necessary.

Speaking of Barcelona, apparently they need some money to pay for Lionel Messi’s new contract, money they will reportedly raise by selling Ivan Rakitić. Who’d be up for taking him off their hands? Why, Manchester City of course, who definitely have a deficiency of quick, technical attacking midfielders.

Dimitri Payet looks like he’ll be on the move, whether West Ham like it or not. It is slightly curious that Marseille seems to be his preferred destination, although going from playing in one of Europe’s worst grounds to one of its best is a fairly solid reason. If West Ham get an offer of £30m then they will probably take it, even if you wouldn’t necessarily trust them to spend it wisely.



Good news for the Proper Football Men of the world, especially those keen that their mate with no experience gets a job: Ryan Giggs is on the shortlist for the Nottingham Forest gig. Actually, given that Forest are an absolutely flaming bin doubling for a football club at the moment, maybe that isn’t the greatest news after all. Mike Phelan, Kenny Jackett and Oscar Garcia are the other lucky punters under consideration.

As for the rest, it’s broadly odds and ends. Real Salt Lake fancy taking the 19-year-old American striker Brooks Lennon on loan from Liverpool; Mark Hughes wants to keep Mr Bojan ‘Goals’ Krkić, despite interest from Middlesbrough; Boro will dry their eyes on Patrick Bamford; Aston Villa could fill the gaping hollow in their midfield by lashing £3m on Adlène Guedioura; Newcastle are ploughing on with their policy of having a billion players by moving for Fulham’s Tom Cairney. And with that, good day.

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