1. Women know other women

Women are friends with other women - women that you could be introduced to. Consider that if every woman knows dozens of other single women, then having just a handful of female friends means that you’ve expanded your available dating pool by hundreds of women.

That’s not to say that you can’t meet strangers in bars or clubs or coffee shops, but it’s easier to date friends-of-friends for several reasons (there’s social pre-approval, it’s easier to maintain contact, there’s less pressure to quick-close).

2. You’ll be immune to getting stuck on just one woman.

Well, maybe not immune, but it’ll certainly help. The PUA community calls this “oneitis” (which doesn’t make much sense, as it’s not really an inflammation of the one), but really it’s just the age-old problem of “boy meets girl, boy thinks that girl who he’s not dating and has never dated is totally the only girl worth dating”.

The cause of this phenomenon is a lack of interaction with lots of women. Men who get stuck on just one woman tend to not meet a lot of women - the woman he lands on to pine over is often the first woman to show him any attention at all. The cure (or rather, the vaccine), then, is to be friends with interesting women who will pay attention to you (as friends pay attention to other friends) so that you learn that being able to talk to a woman doesn’t make her “the one”.

3. Women are social proof

Women view other women as social proof (it’s both why jealousy is so pervasive in the dating game, and why married men get hit on so often). After all, if other women are hanging out with a guy, he can’t be that bad, right? Women have much more faith in each others’ social filters than they do in guys’. In this way, women essentially cooperate with one another to filter out the awkward creeps.

4. Women can be better wingmen

This one comes with the caveat that women aren’t necessarily good wingmen. But they can, at their best, be far more effective than a man. Really, all of it boils down to the fact that women feel more at ease among other women than among men*.

* Note that this holds true even for women who don’t really like other women (you know the type). It’s not about liking or disliking a gender, it’s about implicit social expectations and conditioning.

First, women can be more directly sexual in their innuendo and jokes (thus creating a sexual environment / sexual tension) without coming off as a creep. I’ve had female friends tell girls I was flirting with that I had a huge penis (right in front of me) AND IT WORKS.If a strange guy said it to a woman, it would be creepy at best. But the most ridiculous sexual innuendo can be tossed out woman-to-woman because it’s more socially acceptable (especially when people are drinking).

Second, women can more easily build rapport with other women. One of my wingwomen liked to draw in women I was interested in by teasing me and encouraging her to join in. This kind of friendly banter is called “comfort-building” among PUAs. Women are experts at “comfort building” with other women.



Third, women create the sense of a permanent and stable social circle for other women. If a woman meets and hangs out with three guys in a bar and goes home with him one of them that night, she might well expect never to see him again. But if a woman meets two women and a guy in a bar and spends the night chatting with them as a group and finally goes home with the guy, she feels like she’s part of the group, rather than just a hanger-on.

(jeez, this might have to become its own post)

Fourth, women are way better wings in clubs. See also #6, but when a woman is your wing, you can go out and dance in the middle of the floor without feeling like you’re participating in a sausagefest to rival Munich.

(I have at least four more reasons why women are better wingmen but I’m going to save it for another post because this is now running really long)

5. You’ll learn what mistakes men make

I covered this one in an earlier post, and to be honest I wrote a lot for #4 so I’m going to not say much except that you’ll get a pretty awesome female perspective on what they like and dislike in terms of guys. It can be eye-opening.

6. Women will open doors

Well, they won’t physically open doors for you (although if you can get women to do that for you, let me know how you’re doing it). But be friends with a few good-looking women and it’ll be easier to get into nightclubs and crowded bars will let you cut to the front of the line. See, in this cruel male-dominated world, the gatekeepers have a kryptonite, and it’s the same as every other man’s: a pretty girl.

Hey, and strippers (if that’s your thing) will pay you more attention if you’re with women. So there’s that.

7. You’ll learn that women aren’t all the same.

Pretty self-explanatory. What one of your girl friends will call creepy and other will think cute. One will think Hugh Grant was adorable in Love Actually and the other will think he was a patronizing asshole. One will think Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You is the quintessential man, and others (yes, there are women who don’t like Heath Ledger!) will think he’s an ass but Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the real heartthrob of that film. Charlotte or Samantha? Kate or Vera? Jacob or Edward?

8. Women are more attractive than men.

My most objectifying of points. If I’m going to be hanging out, I’d might as well have something (fine, someone) pretty to look at.

9. You’ll get advice that men won’t give

The quintessential one, for instance, is shoes. For whatever reason, men never notice shoes and women do all the damn time. When I wear new shoes, I get compliments from every woman in my life and no man has ever noticed it (not even the gay ones) I’m half convinced I could walk around barefoot, and men wouldn’t notice. I had a (really awkward) friend who wore Vibrams for a month in public and I didn’t even realize it until one of my female friends pointed it out.

Anyways, I was told by one of my female friends that my shoes looked “janky”. They were pretty beat up. I got new ones. I got a few compliments on them. No man would have ever given me that advice, but it’s advice that I wanted to get.

In general, most straight guys will not give fashion advice as well as women (exceptions apply, of course). Women will be more likely to tell you when your jeans look stupid, you need to shave, or you need a damn haircut. Women notice these things far more often than men do.

This brings me to a controversial point: women are pretty damn good at giving ‘seduction’ advice. There’s an old PUA adage: “You don’t ask a fish how to be a fisherman.” (in other words, you don’t ask women how to seduce women). I think this is exactly wrong. You don’t think someone who could talk to fish wouldn’t get a huge advantage in learning how to catch fish?

True, women are generally bad at giving advice on how to seduce themselves*, but they’re good at it once you take their ego out of the equation. Some of the best advisers, therefore, are women who hold women in a little disdain/contempt, since they’re the least likely to give advice based on what they themselves would prefer (or rather, what they think they would prefer)

* EVERYONE is bad when they try to give advice on how to seduce themselves (or if they base seduction advice on a self-assessment of their own preferences) That’s why you get threads full of Redditors telling women that they should give men steak and a blowjob on their birthday, or that the best way to approach a guy at a bar is to say “wana fuck?”.

10. It will raise your standards

I’ve noticed that as I am friends with more and more interesting women, the bar has been raised for me in terms of the caliber of women that I’m interested in. I now only want to date women who are at least as interesting as the women I’m friends with (and since interesting women are friends with interesting women, this is not really that hard). I ask “do I prefer hanging out with her to hanging out with Jenny?” and “do I want to go to the museum with her instead of Jill?” If they can’t overcome that hurdle, even with the added benefit of sex on the table, they’re probably not worth it.

Bonus: You’ll have someone to come to all those office parties / weddings / etc that you don’t want to bring that we’ve-been-on-two-dates gal to.