http://news4sanantonio.com/news/offbeat/bso-man-reported-car-jacking-so-he-had-alibi-while-cheating-on-girlfriend

Commentary by Justin Igger

A man was arrested Tuesday night for allegedly falsifying a car jacking so his girlfriend wouldn’t know he was at another woman’s house. Brock Allen Brooks, 23, was charged with with false report of a crime and false statements after he admitted to lying on a witness statement form. He said that the car was a red Ford Focus and that the “cousin of a cousin of the owner” lent him the keys, according to the report. Brooks said that he wanted to leave and to go his job at McDonald’s. However, the deputy noted that he was wearing sweat pants with a marijuana logo and no uniform. A store clerk who said he saw Brooks earlier in the evening told deputies that Brooks arrived and left on foot and that he never saw a Ford Focus in the parking lot. The report states that once the deputies told Brooks they did not believe his story, he confessed that he made it all up so he had an alibi to tell his girlfriend while he was at another woman’s house.

That nigga smart than a mug. Sheeit. If he just had wore his McDonald’s uniform instead of his sweats with weed leaves on em, his plan woulda worked. Bedda baleee dat.

Niggas gotta be careful cause them hoes be sneaky. One of my baby mammas almost caught me cheatin on her one time. Im talkin bout my main baby momma. The one I kinda love and shit. I called one of my other baby mamma and tole her to call my main baby momma and pretend she my momma. She tell my main baby momma I can’t talk cause I been smokin too many blunts and I gotta save my voice for the freestyle contest in J Rock backyard.

When I got back to the crib, my main baby momma axe me if that was really my momma who called her on the phone. I say, “hell yea it was.” She say it didn’t sound like my momma. She say it sound like this hoe Keesha that use to be her homegirl. I say, “hell nah that wasn’t Keesha. That was my momma. I put that on our daughter.” It really was Keesha though. I don’t how my main baby momma knew that shit. She ain’t talk to Keesha in two years. I know she don’t remember what her voice sound like.

Keesha and my main baby momma use to be best friends. Then I started fuckin Keesha while my main baby momma was at work. Then Keesha got pregnant. My main baby momma try to say she know Keesha baby mine. She mad than a mufucka too. Knowsayin.

I pretend Keesha baby ain’t mine. But that little nigga look just like me. My main baby momma say she gonna leave me for my cousin Big Tony if she catch me fuckin Keesha again. So when I go over Keesha house I gotta get an alibi. I be thinkin hard about that shit too. I get creative just like I do when I play basketball. Nigga got that crossover that’ll break your ankles. Fo real.

So I know exactly what this nigga going through. Them hoes be trippin when they find out you fuckin other bitches. When you be high and gotta make up a story real fast, that shit be confusing. You really gotta think what you saying. You say the wrong thing and your girl find out you lyin, that scandalous bitch will go fuck your homeboy or sumpin. Bitches be sorry like that.

Next time he need an alibi he need to check what he wearin. If he representin the 420 on his outfit, he need to call one of his homeboys. Have them bring him a Fuck the Police t-shirt or sumpin so them laws won’t be trippin. They get suspicious if they think you be smokin. Knowmsayin.

Keep your head up homey. Tell your girl you’ll get a job and help her with the bills and she’ll forgive you after she do her little thang and shit. She know you love her or you wouldn’t tried to get an alibi in the first place.