NEW YORK—In recently released photographs that sent shockwaves through the community, sources confirmed Tuesday that local body positivity advocate Heidi Gustason was caught in an illicit tryst with a conventionally attractive lover. “He has beautiful, dark eyes, a strong jaw, and symmetrical features—how could she,” said Angela Fiennes, a member of the body positivity movement who was “disgusted” by the sight of Gustason—an activist who once staunchly worked to dismantle the concept of beauty standards—gallivanting around with a man whose appearance suggests the use of cosmetics to maintain his luscious, full head of hair and whose toned, 6-foot-tall frame is the epitome of the unrealistic standard for which designers make clothes. “I just can’t believe it—she should be with a short, chubby, bald guy if she really meant everything she said about accepting people for who they are and not what they look like. What a hypocrite.” At press time, sources within the community reported that the criticism had died down after it was rumored the mystery man had a weird mole on his neck.

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