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Taryn Border's Facebook post about a man who followed her in downtown Portland, and her subsequent interaction with police, has been shared more than 66,000 times.

In the past week, Taryn Border's Facebook post about a man who followed her in downtown Portland, and her subsequent interaction with police, has been shared more than 66,000 times.

According to her account, Border noticed a stranger had turned around and followed her along Southwest 12th Avenue last Thursday morning. When she went inside Heart Coffee Roasters, the man stopped outside the window to stare at her for several minutes.

He didn't flinch, even when she raised her hands in a "What do you want?" gesture and began snapping a series of photos of him. While Border was still inside the shop, the man appeared to spot another woman and turned after her.

Fearing for this second woman, Taryn grabbed her coffee and tailed the man while calling 911. The dispatcher told her not to follow, for her own safety, and an officer was on the way.

But when Officer Robert Foesch arrived, Border said, he was unsympathetic to her concerns. He didn't look at her photo. He didn't try to find the man or the other woman. He responded to her fear with mockery, she felt.

"I am told multiple times that no laws have been broken, and that these are pure assumptions on my part, without validation," Border wrote in a complaint to the police bureau. "I am then reminded that there are no laws against men following women and that no crimes have been committed."

Border never expected a viral post but she thinks the photo she shared -- an unnerving shot of the man blankly staring at her -- is what grabbed attention.

That's what it took for her fear to seem justified.

"I think it really resonated with women, the idea that you would make a report and then not be believed," said Sarah Armstrong, communications and outreach director for the American Civil Liberties Union of Oregon. "That's something we hear a lot in incidents of officer misconduct."

Yes, I spoke with the ACLU - the organization that teaches people you don't have to talk to police - and they were concerned police didn't try to talk to this guy.

"The community should be able to call police when they feel threatened or when they feel there's a danger to the community," Armstrong said. As for how to balance the man's rights with Border's concerns, she said, "We count on the police to navigate through all these complicated pieces with tact and diplomacy."

By Border's account, this officer failed the tact test.

"I cannot help at this point to remind (Foesch) that there is a potential woman in danger and a simple drive around the block could save a life," she wrote in her complaint. "I am then questioned 'How do you know this man is going to harm her?', 'Are you a mind reader?', 'So how long have you been a police officer?'"

Portland police spokesman Sgt. Pete Simpson made no excuses for Border's account of the officer's actions. The bureau's internal affairs division is looking into the incident.

"Certainly, this described interaction is not necessarily the way we would hope our officers would respond to calls for service," he said diplomatically. "That said, it's one side of a story and we'll look into it further."

But Sgt. Simpson and I did have a good conversation about the dynamics downtown that are frustrating for both officers and residents. The bureau has seen an increase in calls about what he called "livability concerns" regarding people who are homeless or who may have mental health or behavioral issues.

That can be a tricky gray area for cops to navigate. How you do remain responsive to residents' concerns without criminalizing odd behavior or being accused of profiling? How do you approach someone who's not yet committed-- but just might commit -- a crime?

Because however rudely the news was delivered, Foesch was probably right. It's not illegal to creepily stare at a woman, follow a person (the first time, anyway) or perhaps do worse.

Take the case of Thomas Bryan Wade, a homeless man who, according to his attorney, suffers from mental health problems. In a Gresham park in 2013, Wade "unzipped his pants, shoved his hand inside and arched his pelvis in the direction of a woman who was with her 7-year-old son" while repeatedly calling the woman a "bitch" and ordering her to "come over here," according to a report by The Oregonian/OregonLive.

His conviction on second-degree disorderly conduct was overturned last month because the Oregon Court of Appeals found his actions were protected free speech. The court ruled rubbing one's crotch and shouting obscenities at a woman does not imply the threat of physical force, which is required for a charge of disorderly conduct.

Many women might feel differently about that.

But whatever the difficulties faced by police and prosecutors, none of it is an excuse for Border's experience. She would have understood, she said, if there was little the officer could do regarding the man, but she expected a bit more compassion and interest. Mustering empathy for scared, vulnerable, even difficult people is an important part of an officer's duties, and a cop who's become too jaded to do that should reconsider his profession.

"We do hope that officers at least take the time to listen and explain what they can and can't do," Simpson said. He added that in a case like Border's, "an officer generally would go contact the (man) and make an inquiry."

My fear is stories like this will dissuade women from coming forward or seeking help. Border told me after the officer questioned her claims, she wondered if she was overreacting. She started to doubt herself. She felt shamed.

And these are all the reasons women either don't speak up when they see something suspicious, or don't report an assault after it occurs.

Don't stay silent, ladies. Speak up. Stay strong. Stay safe.

-- Samantha Swindler

@editorswindler / 503-294-4031

sswindler@oregonian.com