Update, 10/21/19, 11:25 a.m.: It seems as though the post screengrabbed by BestofNextDoor did not, in fact, come from a California woman, but instead from an Elmhurst, IL, man named Kevin Flanagan.

Flanagan often posts satirically in a public Elmhurst Facebook group. His "rant" was posted on September 19 and was well-received by the community, who seems to be familiar with his funny posts.

Kevin Flanagan/Elmhurst, IL News & Comment

In the BestofNextDoor version, numbers, towns, and other details were changed.

Original post, 10/14/19, 4:33 p.m.: A woman in California is getting attention on social media after she went on a rant against her neighbors buying "cheap" Halloween candy. The rant, which was posted to her neighborhood watch Facebook page, was screenshot and shared on Twitter by BestofNextdoor.

The post is looong. In it, the unidentified woman begins saying she’s noticed that there’s been a lot more cheap candy on the trick-or-treating route lately. "I don't know if this trend is the result of the higher bills or even the new constructions, but cheap candy has somehow infiltrated our community for Halloween and it has to stop," she wrote.

Apparently, she's not a fan of candies like Dum Dums, Smarties, and Jolly Ranchers, which she said "maybe [sic] suitable" in neighboring towns, "but not here in Rancho Cucamonga."

"We are an affluent neighborhood and this status should be reflected in our candy provisions for Halloween," she continued. The woman then requested that her neighbors only buy "full or KING size candy."

However, if any of her neighbors did happen to buy fun-sized candy bars, they didn't need to return them, she said. "Just keep in mind that 4-6 of those fun size bars equate to a standard size bar," the woman added.

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"Dum Dums, Smarties, and Jolly Ranchers maybe suitable for Ontario, Fontana, and even Montclair... but NOT here in Rancho Cucamonga!"



WE 👏 ARE 👏 AN 👏 AFFLUENT 👏 NEIGHBORHOOD 👏 AND 👏 OUR 👏 HALLOWEEN 👏 CANDY 👏 SHOULD 👏 REFLECT 👏 THAT 👏 pic.twitter.com/qk7WzCxGMB — Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) October 3, 2019

The ranter also took special issue with Peeps. "For God’s sake, leave those Peep candies alone," she said. "No one, I mean NO ONE wants those terrible marshmallow tragedies."

The woman then went after elderly neighbors who like to hand out coins for Halloween in her rant. "Unless you plan on throwing some quarters into the mix, stop peddling your pennies and step up your game this Halloween," she said.

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Well, people had some ~thoughts~ after the rant was posted on Twitter. "Someone’s house is gonna get TPd this year," one person wrote.

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Someone’s house is gonna get TPd this year — Gordon Werner ☂️ only 3% 🤖 (@GordonWerner) October 3, 2019

"Sounds like the neighborhood kids got together to send a message," another jokingly commented.

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Sounds like the neighborhood kids got together to send a message. pic.twitter.com/ZUIurkEwCx — BluenoserGal (@OGBluenoserGal) October 3, 2019

Still another said, "the Business Mom has logged on, and she. is. pissed."

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the Business Mom has logged on, and she. is. pissed. pic.twitter.com/2Cvo5yDVkr — MGS 3: Snack Eater (@johnhatewood) October 3, 2019

And one Twitter user even offered up a Halloween candy suggestion of their own: "Somebody needs to eat another THC gummy."

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Somebody needs to eat another THC gummy — Jon Williams (@shovemedia) October 3, 2019

No official word on how the original message went over with the neighbors, but odds are, the next HOA meeting is going to be a little tense.



Korin Miller Korin Miller is a freelance writer specializing in general wellness, sexual health and relationships, and lifestyle trends, with work appearing in Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Self, Glamour, and more.

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