A few years ago I took my mom to see a Katy Perry concert. She was in awe of the sound, the production, and the costumes, but she was particularly mesmerized by Katy herself. After the show Mom asked me, “What is it like to be friends with her?” I had never really thought about it. In one sense the Katy I’ve known since 2011 is not that different from the pop icon you see onstage. Katy is insanely funny, unapologetically honest, outrageously creative, and a little mischievous (the woman loves a practical joke and a prank gift). But to know her intimately is to also know a quieter side of her. It is to know her mystic intuition (it is almost annoying—Katy can hug you and know instantly that you are going through something). And it’s to know Katheryn Hudson, the girl from Santa Barbara whose idea of a perfect night is to throw on a tracksuit, grab her dog, Nugget, and snuggle up on the couch with girlfriends to talk about everything and nothing.

There is a lot to admire about Katy Perry. She’s the first female artist to have five number-one Billboard Hot 100 tracks from a single album. She is the most-followed person on Twitter in the world. And in the last 10 years, she has sold more than 40 million albums. (She’s also a passionate advocate for the younger generation: $1 from each ticket sale on her Witness tour goes to the Boys & Girls Clubs of America.) But what I admire most about Katy is her bravery. She is not afraid to be wrong. In fact, she often says that it’s vitally important for her to speak about her mistakes so that other people can learn from them as well.

Katy has more than a career—she has a life. She’s real. I often think that the reason she’s so connected to her fan base, the KatyCats, is because she truly is one of them. She might seem like a supergoddess while doing the splits on stage or doling out critiques in a fierce look on American Idol, which premieres on ABC this month, but she is also a 33-year-old with fears to conquer, dreams to achieve, and aspects of herself she is still trying to figure out. Like all of us, she is a work in progress. As I’ve watched this soul sister of mine leave her twenties behind, I have seen her make small but integral shifts, learn difficult lessons, and use her experiences to evolve as an artist, a woman, and a citizen. That’s the Katy Perry I want you all to meet.

Giving Up Her Ghosts “This last year has really been about killing my ego. I don’t think I have a choice anymore.”

Prada top, shirt. Fendi skirt. Miu Miu headband, $145. Jennifer Meyer studs, $425. Maria Black earring, $45. Kismet by Milka ring.

Cleo Wade: You recently wrote on Instagram that 2017 “redefined what winning means to me. And the definition of winning for me this year was simply happiness and gratitude.” How did you arrive at that moment?

Katy Perry: That’s a great question. I love you so much for asking it. [Laughs.] I’ve come to learn, after 10 years of success in the spotlight, that being happy is something you have to work for every single day. Even if you have money or houses or status or fame—and all of that stuff is great for a moment—if you don’t have happiness charging the train, you’re gonna derail. A lot of my early twenties were really intense, really extreme, and somewhat unconscious. It was all career focused, which was great, but once you touch the ceiling so many times, it’s like, “Oh yeah, I did that. I touched the ceiling.” Now I want to touch the stars, which has to do with the heart.