GeckoXp Profile Blog Joined June 2013 Germany 1948 Posts #1



It was one of those cold nights, where work doesn’t seem to come in. Not that I’m complaining, it’s winter time and I get to sit here with some whiskey and watch Starcraft streams, hoping for a good Terran to be on. I got my trusty 1911 and my belt propped up on the desk. I really should go down to the shooting range to get some practice in. Eh, I’ll do it when I decide to close my office.



I was about to leave when I hear ringing at the door. I opened the door and in come a lady who appears to be rich and I guess we can call her features “supple”. I would call her a ham planet, but that wouldn’t get me business with anyone, so I ask if she wanted some whiskey. She declines the offer and I motioned for her to sit down, of which she does.



I get ready for what looks like a new job for me, and ask her:



“So madam, what is your name?”



“Ah detective Comrade, you can call me Lrm)Game,”



“Alright Madam Game, what can I do for you?”



“I want you to investigate the Scan conspiracy”



I was taken back quite hard. The Scan conspiracy? Last time that I took a stab at this jungle, I lost my right eye, and my partner Gecko almost died from a street shootout. Nothing good came out of that investigation. Scan himself still remains at large, somewhere deep hidden in the depths of the IFU organization. Tackling the IFU mafia will test my detective skills to the max, and I couldn’t even penetrate the surface of this mysterious organization last time. That was 10 years ago, perhaps things have changed.



“Detective Comrade, I’ll give you $500k down, and another $500k when the investigation is over”



That explains how she was able to buy Sziky. $500k? That’s retirement money, a chance that every detective wants for himself. And that’s the down payment, and another $500k on finish?



“Alright Madam, here is my card if you need to contact. Note that this is a high risk investigation that you’re asking and that I may not come out of this alive. “



“I understand. I’ll leave you to your process”



She left, and I got a $500K check on her desk. I take the check, put it in my coat pocket, walk out of my office, and hit the streets towards where I can find my best partner, Gecko.



Man it’s cold tonight.





Review: Week 8



For the sake of creating an narrative arc, the SBWI Writer's staff decided to start with the second Clan War first.



It is an open secret that Russia's community spent dozens of eSport Dollars on biological experiments, in order to create genetic enhanced super Terrans. We already knew that a Russian Terran can not only defeat a Polar Bear in a real life 1on1, but also kill any foreigner due to their surgically added third arm. The Russian scientists were successful yet another time, showing in the first set of LaGFree vs iwL. Biggus, Terran, strong, faced ZeTy, a bold Peruvian Zerg on Oxide, the TvZ map of STL. The game was quite tense, as Zerg started to throw mass Zerglings into the Terran's choke, even though he couldn't quite kill him with it. As a matter of fact, Biggus already prepared an SKT Terran Build and could throw back the Zerg waves time and time again. Over long he could push out, killed ZeTy's third with impressive Marine micro and defended against a backstab. iwL 1 - 0 LagFree



Next up was Dienmax, a Protoss for LaGFree, against SaCreD from iwL on Colosseum II. This match was a back and forth play as well, even though it was odd. Dienmax opened with Zealot pressure without +1 Upgrade from 5 Gateways, which could be defended relatively easily by Zerg. SaCreD tried to directly counter with Hydralisks, pushed him back but then lost Hydralisks. In the following minutes they wasted their armies on each other, without one of them gaining the upper hand. Dienmax slowly took his third, which then put him in a bit of a lead. Shortly, he had the double amount of supply and eventually took the game and evened the score.



Ex Templar Ace faced ex Latin Gamer Handy in a Zerg vs Terran on Outsider in the third set. Handy opened with a Barracks, while Ace tried to brute force his way in with a group of Zerglings. Here's the twist, Ace saw one Barracks before his Zerglings died. Handy then smartly tried to fake a Fast Expansion by moving his superior Marine force down the choke, chasing away the Overlord, trying to disguise his 3 Barracks Sunken Bust attempt. Ace saw it last minute, took down several Marines with his Zerglings and could thus stall the incoming push. Few minutes later, Handy's forces were destroyed by Ace - iWL was up one set again.



Wapool had the chances to even out the score against Artanis in a Protoss mirror on Overwatch. And that he did. Without explaining it further, it all came down to both playing relatively safe, until Wapool attacked with a larger force against Artanis without Psi Storms. On a related note, Templars should be called Masons nowadays. 2-2!



Tau Cross, set Nr. 5: Ling, Ling, Ling, Muta, Ling, Muta, Spore, Castro (LaGFree) 3 - 2 Fenito (iwL)



Fighting Spirit, set Nr. 6: Dandy, Protoss, recently participating in the ICCup Ladder Main Event against Justice, Terran, winner of the Eric Cartman Award for BM. Dandy opened with a relatively fast Nexus, added four Gateways and took map control. Justice opened with a Siege Expand and was behind from the start, because his CC took ages before it finally landed. Even though Dandy wasted a few Dragoons in some sort of wanna-be Bulldog push without Shuttle, took the game eventually. Justice pushed twice with relatively nice micro, but couldn't help but lose all his army to 1a2a3a masses. LaGFree came out as victor with a 4-2 win!





And now for the upset, that's currently topic of discussions: Los Reyes Del Mambo Evolutions (LRM Evolutions) vs. the international Federation of Untouchables (iFU). The surprises started as the first proof for the existance of the Grinch could be given - LRM's manager tried to spoil everyone's fun by making tons of obvious remarks in several topics. This looked promising!



In the opener of last week's cast the Hungarian monster Zerg Sziky, mercanary, bought and paid for by EywaSC, played against iFU's TvZ specialist Cryoc from Germany. At first it looked interesting, as Cryoc was able to completely neutralize Sziky's Mutalisk harass off two hatcheries and could furthermore push to Sziky's third. He took down Lurkers, few Drones, but lost his Marines shortly after without doing too much damage. Sziky countered with a group of Lurkers and forced Cryoc's Natural CC to lift. This was basically game over, as Cryoc's second push with Tanks and Vessels came in a bit too late and was crushed. LRM was up 1-0.



On Colosseum II Polish trutaCz, the only player who recently really did challenge Sziky, was up against Scan. L_Master introduced the hero no LRM manager wanted, but deserved with "Scan is such a good player, he's really awesome and the heavy favourite" [... two more minutes praising Scan's skill...] "He has played in SOSPA and wasn't THAT horrible". Scan opened with a rather standard Fast Expansion into Marines and Medics, while trutaCz tried to counter with 2 Hatch Mutaliks. This didn't pay off, Scan's base was fortified and only the Natural ComSat was taken down in the harass. Meanwhile, Scan moved out, took down a few Mutas on his way. His attack was finally killed at trutaCz's base. A second attack finished alike, while Zerg was forced to be really defensive. The eventual loss came with a third push including Vessels - the score was even!



Before the third set begun, the moaning started. If that's a coincidence or not - we don't know. Especially since the match between TechnicS (LRM) and Tama (iFU) on Outsider was one of the most interesting ones in the short history of STL. Tama opened with one Gateway against an Overpool, had to face Zergling pressure and started to transition into a very Dragoon heavy build. The game was ultimatively tense. L_Master described Tama's strategy as "ONE BASE POWER AGGRO", his Dragoon pressure on TechnicS' Natural Expansion as "walking Nightmare". Protoss threw Dragoons, Zerg countered with Speedlings. Tama microed very, very well and took some sort of small advantage, while balancing on a razor's blade. It got a bit awkward as the moaning by the muffled voice continued and L_Master mentioned something like "Tama continues to come all over the place". The game went into a sort of stalemate, as the Zerg base was defended well enough against Dragoons and Mutalisks were on their way. However, Protoss adapted and already had Corsairs and Cannons on his Natural Expansion. Zerg then moved in with a large attack, killed the Natural, lost his Mutalisks and had to face Overlord harass. The game was somewhat still even, as Tama continued with DT Harass and drops. One of the harassing DTs had more than 30 kills by the end of the game. In the end Tama only lost because he went out of minerals, while TechnicS himself had only his Natural Expansion running. A really great and recommended game! (LRM 2 - 1 iFU)









iFU Protoss Group Chat







It was Lancerx aka. Must aka. SexyManToss aka. everyone's darling's turn to try to level the score in a Protoss mirror vs. Wallace. In the past Wallace excelled, played very well and Lancerx was in some sort of slump, losing against newcomers needlessly. However, Lancer is a master of the Mirror Match, constantly won LANs in Moscow and is one of Defiler's finest players. He showed that by impressively outsmarting the Bulgarian newcomer on Overwatch. Both opened relatively safe, with the two of them getting an early Natural Nexus, with Must being slightly faster. Lancerx camped behind Wallace's bridge with a few Dragoons and a Shuttle plus Reaver. Once Wallace tried to move out, he had to realize Must was already there. Must could stall him, even though he had a smaller army - his only loss a retarded Dragoon, which relied on GPS to cross the bridge. Now the Bulgarian tried to take a detour with his army and moved through his backdoor. This is where Lancer's brilliance showed, he moved across the bridge and went for a counter. His Reaver took down tons of Probes and his Dragoons blocked Wallace's army. After this engagement Lancer lost half of his army, but was able to mine 1700 Minerals per Minute vs. Wallace's 700 Minerals per Minute. That was basically the end of set four. In the next minute Must played safe, defended a last attack and killed even more Probes with another Reaver. iFU 2 - 2 LRM!



On Tau Cross Bonyth and Marwin crushed, two oldschool players in a Protoss vs. Terran. The moaning suddenly stopped and the muffled voice was gone. The game was the least entertaining so far, as Bonyth pressured Marwin from the start without having too much success. The Polish Protoss added Stargates in his main and went for Carriers off two base. Marwin missed his timing window for a push, was countered hard by Bonyth and the game was basically over. With four Carriers the Polish forced the Ukrainian back and put LRM one set ahead again.



By this time iFU's leader eOnzErG realized he had to play himself to prevent a total loss. His opponent on Fighting Spirit was FremAN, a French Protoss, who recently returned. eOn took three bases and five Hatcheries, meaning using a rather ordinary Build. FremAN tried to attack eOn's third with seven Zealots and it first looked like a giant waste, as almost nothing died on Zerg's side. Shortly afterwards it turned out that it wasn't such a bad move after all, as DTs were freely harassing the third without Overlord support. However, eOnzErG decided to use all his Hydras to return the favour and went to the Protoss' Natural. Only one cannon and few Zealots weren't enough to completely throw back the attack. The Natural was under heavy fire for a bit. Protoss once more tried to counter off six Gateways with High Templars and Zealots, but overdid it a bit. The following attack by eOnzErG sealed the deal, iFU 3 - 3 LRM









OMFG ACE MATCH TIME





Hypuuuuuu: THE FIRST DECIDER OF THE SEASON. And that in such an important clan war? That's not right, surely somebody had his fingers in it. Scan was up vs. Sziky, the two strongest players of Defiler and every other tournament. Official statements by ICCup, who obviously kill foreign Brood War since 2007, stated that Scan was playing the hours before this Ace match, because he was seeded into the ICCup Main Event - like Sziky who gave a walk over for the tour. Hence there was apparently some sort of reason that Scan was there for the Clan War in the first place. We call that bullshit and stick with LRM's Grinch, Scan attempted a go on Sziky's live. It's obvious. Scan kills eSports. That he never touched a maphack, played his games fairly, gained his skill by mass gaming with the best and that he was once a member of LRM are all bold lies. Instead we should focus on who he flamed years ago, because that's what kills esports.

Back to the game, the two arch enemies played on Destination. Terran abused the map feature to build a Zergling tight Wall-In and teched to Wraiths off two Starports. Sziky tried a Zergling bust, but couldn't really deal damage. Scan's first two wraiths already took down Overlords and Drones, the second pair did similar. Sziky added Mutalisks and prepared for the next Wraith harass. Scan then moved out with a handful of Marines, forcing back the Zerglings at his Natural, while supporting the ground forces with his Wraith group. Sziky tried to attack the Wraith but was figuratively raped. There are no nice words to express how fast Scan tore apart the Zerg base, Sziky was basically chanceless. The upset! IFU WON! LRM LOST ITS FIRST CW!





Preview: Week 9







Current Standing after Week 8





The wrath of LRM Evolution's manager is understandable, his suspicions about Scan's recruitment being a fake, just like the moon landing, might be more than the sign of paranoia. Last week's war between iFU and LRM Evolutions really did add a lot of tension to the overall situation. While it seems as if insanity without Limit's chances to reach a qualification spot are close to zero by now, LaGFree, LRM, sas, iFU and PsB are still fighting hardcore. Five teams are one team too much for the play offs!



Let's do it backwards again. The match between AoV and iM) next week will not really matter for the important slots. Both will most likely end where they are now, +-1 match. This sounds worse than it is, given how hard the competition is. On first glimpse this sounds boring, then again, these two clans are somewhat equally strong. We have no idea what the average skill is, but it sure isn't bad. Instead of one sided rapes we could see a tense match and a second ace match. With Poetic and Glio there are two quite interesting newcomers for possible matches, as well as strong trolls like MVP. Who knows, this could be a lot more entertaining than expected.



The other war is far more important. It looks like nothing can beat sas supposedly weak line-up. Even though their ace Sziky has been stolen by LRM shortly before the clan league started, they continued to win four out of four wars against the strongest teams. They already beaten iFU, who for some reason did not choose to use Scan and LaGFree. This means they already defeated two of the four rivals, which makes their qualification spot relatively safe.

Stealthbunnies/PaiN on the other side are shaking a bit. They only faced LRM Evolutions so far and lost, they still have to meet iFU and LaGFree. A very good score, if not a win, is really important for them. Recently their oldschool Protoss and WCG 2004 participant Arcneon trains hardcore, which might be a sign of a harder preparation. Also, DragOn, an uprising Protoss player, could help to overcome whatever sas sends out. This has the reek of ace match to it as well, anything could happen. Let's wait and see.





Interview



+ Show Spoiler [Skzlime] +



Hello, please introduce yourself to the readers!





Hello dear readers! I am the magnanimous Matyas Farkas, one of the most boring fools in the world. My favorite things are paradoxes and consistency. I am also supposed to be studying economics, but I am not, really. I am a very very Terran, who hates Protoss.





Please share your thoughts on the STL so far!



It doesn't seem very Swedish so far, but is definitely a team league. I wish I won more but sadly I suck. I also probably play too much Civ5, so it's fair I guess. Team Lagfree is a nice disappointment (?) in terms of actually being quite lag-free. I greatly enjoyed Scan's appearance last week, and the ensuing sissyness on TL put a grin on my face.





In the first (inofficial) war of sas vs. LaGFree you commented negatively on Oxide, saying it'd be rather hard for Terran. Did this change? What's with Overwatch?



I still think the mineral only base is retarded. The map is terran favored if split, and the terrain is very nice for siege tanks. Unfortunately I am not patient enough to go against my style and play the map to its advantages. If the mineral only base had 6-7 minerals I would like it a lot more. Currently its only purpose is to give zerg extra minerals for an additional macro hatch.



I only played a few games on Overwatch, so I'd rather not say dumb things. I managed to beat dsaqwe on it like once or twice so it can't be that bad. It's quite hard to take a 4th which is something I generally don't like, but the narrow bridge allows for a very quick 3rd. I think the area around the 3rd base below the ramp should be buildable. (i think it's not? can't quite remember 100%)





Ok, back to the league itself. Did you see LRM vs iFU? Any comments on the games?



Yes. No. lol?



Sziky seemed overconfident and i hope he donates me half that amount of mutas if i play him, trutacz could have won if he didn't know he was playing scan imo, tama totally fucked up his macro and technics didn't seem like he had any clue what was going on, lancerx played well (though wallace reaction time was not the best), marwin seemed like he spotted carrier tech but still did exactly what bonyth hoped he would, and I only listened to game 6 while doing whatever I was doing. I also missed the beginning of the ace match, but the wraith control was nice.





Fast forward to next week. You'll be facing PsB. Are you scared for this match or do your members feel like they need to prepare for the cw?



I honestly think we all waste so much of our time we don't really have any excess left for fear. Our A lineup is experienced enough to lock out stress etc. as well. We haven't been holding any in-house practice sessions lately that I know of. Michael quit again but will be back for cw, deeRaw is laddering 5 accounts simultaneously while crying about life etc, Zaraki hopefully had one of his last back surgeries, dsaqwe "lost to c- again can't believe" etc etc so it's all pretty standard. Of course we not gonna be like yo whatever they only have players like fengzi pfft. What's more important I think is that we do not expect ourselves to lose and feel prepared regardless of actual preparedness. That's half a win already. #coelho



I erased like 5 whole lines but it's still so long. I forgot how to answer questions and just ramble, will be a good read before sleep. Shouldn't have cracked open that bear





The situation in the leader board is quite tense. SAS is most likely qualified already, but LRM, iFU, PsB and LaGFree will still compete for three spots. Who do you think comes out on top?



Us. What kind of question is this? Oh I get it, just because we lost Sziky and Bizzy and Cute people be like "nah man Sas can't win now fo sho'





No, I mentioned sas is through already most likely. I wanted to have your view on the other four clans competiting for three spots. Read again. Still no comment other than how great sas is?



Well, we can still not come out on top in theory. Okay disregard first answer then.



It's a tough question because it mostly depends on lineups and then a bit of luck. If LRM) can finally bring their best (no offense to wallace & freman) I think they should come out #2 no problem, but first we have to beat them.

I still think that on paper iFU. has the strongest optimal lineup, but they didn't start so well. LaGFree winning everybody is startling, but they have a good chance here. PsB also has a scary roster, but they just never seem to show at the same time. I think it's gonna be #1 sas., #2 LRM), and iFU will claim #3 for the playoffs. #4 can go either way between PsB/LaGFRee.





Plenty of people showed up recently who were thought to be dead. Just take Saunatoss (Arcneon) streaming everyday. Does this surprise you?



Why was he thought dead? He has been back for a year.





Please don't argue against me, it makes me look dumb.



Umm I'm not sure I understand the question. I am oldschool too, but with the difference that people didn't know I was alive. Ok anyway: nothing surprises me anymore. I have seen some shit :nicelis:





Are you referring to Alfio's nude pics? Or what? Is there anything sas internal you want to leak?



Nah, nude AlfiO didn't even register a response other than "lol gotta screenshot this". Honestly, a bunch of old guys coming back to bw is nothing new. It happens all the time. Even Elky streamed some.





The rumors about sas skype group regularly doing video conferences while slaughtering a goat on the altar of Brood War is a hoax then?



I don't know how to respond to that. The only thing we sacrifice on the altar of BW is our own life. (according to mom)





Yeah, right. It's a "rumor" then. Can you give me some hints how I can possibly freak out your leaders more? Calling your clan "Eagles" didn't really work out, I still have no ICCup Quiz Money from him.



Accuse Pez of not really being an Anal Commander. idono. Sas. leaders never freak out. You will get your Quiz Money, don't woray ( ͡°﻿ ͜ʖ ͡°)

Or use spiders maybe? Spiders freak me the fuck out. Maybe Zaraki eats spiders so I don't know. I've never been to Spain.

I only know Sangria and Cristobal Colon.





I'm sure pez will do the right thing. It would be a shame if someone forgot to feed your clan tag. Anyhow, now for the theme. We're currently researching conspiracies. It's odd how many good Terran players the Russians had over the years, recently throwing Ramms, Biggus, Dima and Marwin in our faces. How would you explain that? Is it a fake and it's always Androide playing, or are there mad scientists at work?



Don't forget my master





Do you believe in a conspiracy behind the massive amount of Protoss on low levels? E.g. a secret recruitment programm?



Nah. Everybody likes to win, so why not play Protoss when you start? : )))

This most certainly has nothing to do with a Cold War project to counter imaginary future threats of Russian Terrans.





You mentioned earlier you hate Protoss. Explain!



They don't even have a mouth, how gross is that? At least Zergs have mouths. Can you really trust a thing that doesn't eat? I never trust vegetables. Even their eyes are wrong. And only utterly shady criminals develop permanent invisibility.





That's like your opinion, man. Any last words, greetings or shout outs?





I demand my money back. You didn't even set up any good jokes for me.



Greetings go out to all my friends who I will link this to, my big brother who might read it, ALL SAS WHO REIGN SUPREME, foes who have known or will surely know crushing defeat but don't worry it's cool just a video game EXCEPT IT IS BROOD WAR SO NO, and to everyone involved in organising, casting and playing in this league or has any other affiliation with the running of the STL, and of course to every viewer tuning in for the stream.

Final shoutout to comradexkcd, Nina Destruction and Gecko for more lols for the lol god, and to Lumix that yo, YES WES GNNA WIN. Thank you.



Thank you too!

Hello dear readers! I am the magnanimous Matyas Farkas, one of the most boring fools in the world. My favorite things are paradoxes and consistency. I am also supposed to be studying economics, but I am not, really. I am a very very Terran, who hates Protoss.It doesn't seem very Swedish so far, but is definitely a team league. I wish I won more but sadly I suck. I also probably play too much Civ5, so it's fair I guess. Team Lagfree is a nice disappointment (?) in terms of actually being quite lag-free. I greatly enjoyed Scan's appearance last week, and the ensuing sissyness on TL put a grin on my face.I still think the mineral only base is retarded. The map is terran favored if split, and the terrain is very nice for siege tanks. Unfortunately I am not patient enough to go against my style and play the map to its advantages. If the mineral only base had 6-7 minerals I would like it a lot more. Currently its only purpose is to give zerg extra minerals for an additional macro hatch.I only played a few games on Overwatch, so I'd rather not say dumb things. I managed to beat dsaqwe on it like once or twice so it can't be that bad. It's quite hard to take a 4th which is something I generally don't like, but the narrow bridge allows for a very quick 3rd. I think the area around the 3rd base below the ramp should be buildable. (i think it's not? can't quite remember 100%)Yes. No. lol?Sziky seemed overconfident and i hope he donates me half that amount of mutas if i play him, trutacz could have won if he didn't know he was playing scan imo, tama totally fucked up his macro and technics didn't seem like he had any clue what was going on, lancerx played well (though wallace reaction time was not the best), marwin seemed like he spotted carrier tech but still did exactly what bonyth hoped he would, and I only listened to game 6 while doing whatever I was doing. I also missed the beginning of the ace match, but the wraith control was nice.I honestly think we all waste so much of our time we don't really have any excess left for fear. Our A lineup is experienced enough to lock out stress etc. as well. We haven't been holding any in-house practice sessions lately that I know of. Michael quit again but will be back for cw, deeRaw is laddering 5 accounts simultaneously while crying about life etc, Zaraki hopefully had one of his last back surgeries, dsaqwe "lost to c- again can't believe" etc etc so it's all pretty standard. Of course we not gonna be like yo whatever they only have players like fengzi pfft. What's more important I think is that we do not expect ourselves to lose and feel prepared regardless of actual preparedness. That's half a win already. #coelhoI erased like 5 whole lines but it's still so long. I forgot how to answer questions and just ramble, will be a good read before sleep. Shouldn't have cracked open that bearUs. What kind of question is this? Oh I get it, just because we lost Sziky and Bizzy and Cute people be like "nah man Sas can't win now fo sho'Well, we can still not come out on top in theory. Okay disregard first answer then.It's a tough question because it mostly depends on lineups and then a bit of luck. If LRM) can finally bring their best (no offense to wallace & freman) I think they should come out #2 no problem, but first we have to beat them.I still think that on paper iFU. has the strongest optimal lineup, but they didn't start so well. LaGFree winning everybody is startling, but they have a good chance here. PsB also has a scary roster, but they just never seem to show at the same time. I think it's gonna be #1 sas., #2 LRM), and iFU will claim #3 for the playoffs. #4 can go either way between PsB/LaGFRee.Why was he thought dead? He has been back for a year.Umm I'm not sure I understand the question. I am oldschool too, but with the difference that people didn't know I was alive. Ok anyway: nothing surprises me anymore. I have seen some shit :nicelis:Nah, nude AlfiO didn't even register a response other than "lol gotta screenshot this". Honestly, a bunch of old guys coming back to bw is nothing new. It happens all the time. Even Elky streamed some.I don't know how to respond to that. The only thing we sacrifice on the altar of BW is our own life. (according to mom)Accuse Pez of not really being an Anal Commander. idono. Sas. leaders never freak out. You will get your Quiz Money, don't woray ( ͡°﻿ ͜ʖ ͡°)Or use spiders maybe? Spiders freak me the fuck out. Maybe Zaraki eats spiders so I don't know. I've never been to Spain.I only know Sangria and Cristobal Colon.Don't forget my master Largo , and it's because Russians are cool. It's very simple, there's nothing sinister behind it. Russia always had many strong terrans, so it's tradition. Don't question it. This is how it always has been, and how it is supposed to be. There is no secret Terran training facility in Siberia. There was no project in the Cold War. Let the matter rest! I am not of a secret Russian ancestry either!Nah. Everybody likes to win, so why not play Protoss when you start? : )))This most certainly has nothing to do with a Cold War project to counter imaginary future threats of Russian Terrans.They don't even have a mouth, how gross is that? At least Zergs have mouths. Can you really trust a thing that doesn't eat? I never trust vegetables. Even their eyes are wrong. And only utterly shady criminals develop permanent invisibility.I demand my money back. You didn't even set up any good jokes for me.Greetings go out to all my friends who I will link this to, my big brother who might read it, ALL SAS WHO REIGN SUPREME, foes who have known or will surely know crushing defeat but don't worry it's cool just a video game EXCEPT IT IS BROOD WAR SO NO, and to everyone involved in organising, casting and playing in this league or has any other affiliation with the running of the STL, and of course to every viewer tuning in for the stream.Final shoutout to comradexkcd, Nina Destruction and Gecko for more lols for the lol god, and to Lumix that yo, YES WES GNNA WIN. Thank you.





Post Scriptum



Speaking for the SBWI Award committee I can officially state that the SBWI Awards voting was not rigged. Posting them on Russian community pages is tradition, them rigging the polls has nothing to do with the international community. We call it blasphemy to imply that Jaevlaterran's secret mead meetings with the Ukrainian mafia had any impact on the outcomes whatsoever. The SBWI is not George Bush and the SBWI was not involved in any conspiracy. Having an own secret hand shake, having a secret room for a golden bat and owning an army of writers does not make a secret society! Also, the NSA confirmed our numbers.



We can't tell you what to think, but we can try. In the spirit of the BW Community mutually supporting each other, we ask you kindly TO VOTE FOR BISUDAGGER (2pac make this blink in neon green, please!)



Sources



VODs on Youtube - LiquiDpedia - TLPD - Replays, Week 8





Writers: Comradexkcd, GeckoXP It was one of those cold nights, where work doesn’t seem to come in. Not that I’m complaining, it’s winter time and I get to sit here with some whiskey and watch Starcraft streams, hoping for a good Terran to be on. I got my trusty 1911 and my belt propped up on the desk. I really should go down to the shooting range to get some practice in. Eh, I’ll do it when I decide to close my office.I was about to leave when I hear ringing at the door. I opened the door and in come a lady who appears to be rich and I guess we can call her features “supple”. I would call her a ham planet, but that wouldn’t get me business with anyone, so I ask if she wanted some whiskey. She declines the offer and I motioned for her to sit down, of which she does.I get ready for what looks like a new job for me, and ask her:“So madam, what is your name?”“Ah detective Comrade, you can call me Lrm)Game,”“Alright Madam Game, what can I do for you?”“I want you to investigate the Scan conspiracy”I was taken back quite hard. The Scan conspiracy? Last time that I took a stab at this jungle, I lost my right eye, and my partner Gecko almost died from a street shootout. Nothing good came out of that investigation. Scan himself still remains at large, somewhere deep hidden in the depths of the IFU organization. Tackling the IFU mafia will test my detective skills to the max, and I couldn’t even penetrate the surface of this mysterious organization last time. That was 10 years ago, perhaps things have changed.“Detective Comrade, I’ll give you $500k down, and another $500k when the investigation is over”That explains how she was able to buy Sziky. $500k? That’s retirement money, a chance that every detective wants for himself. And that’s the down payment, and another $500k on finish?“Alright Madam, here is my card if you need to contact. Note that this is a high risk investigation that you’re asking and that I may not come out of this alive. ““I understand. I’ll leave you to your process”She left, and I got a $500K check on her desk. I take the check, put it in my coat pocket, walk out of my office, and hit the streets towards where I can find my best partner, Gecko.Man it’s cold tonight.It is an open secret that Russia's community spent dozens of eSport Dollars on biological experiments, in order to create genetic enhanced super Terrans. We already knew that a Russian Terran can not only defeat a Polar Bear in a real life 1on1, but also kill any foreigner due to their surgically added third arm. The Russian scientists were successful yet another time, showing in the first set of LaGFree vs iwL. Biggus, Terran, strong, faced ZeTy, a bold Peruvian Zerg on Oxide, the TvZ map of STL. The game was quite tense, as Zerg started to throw mass Zerglings into the Terran's choke, even though he couldn't quite kill him with it. As a matter of fact, Biggus already prepared an SKT Terran Build and could throw back the Zerg waves time and time again. Over long he could push out, killed ZeTy's third with impressive Marine micro and defended against a backstab. iwL 1 - 0 LagFreeNext up was Dienmax, a Protoss for LaGFree, against SaCreD from iwL on Colosseum II. This match was a back and forth play as well, even though it was odd. Dienmax opened with Zealot pressure without +1 Upgrade from 5 Gateways, which could be defended relatively easily by Zerg. SaCreD tried to directly counter with Hydralisks, pushed him back but then lost Hydralisks. In the following minutes they wasted their armies on each other, without one of them gaining the upper hand. Dienmax slowly took his third, which then put him in a bit of a lead. Shortly, he had the double amount of supply and eventually took the game and evened the score.Ex Templar Ace faced ex Latin Gamer Handy in a Zerg vs Terran on Outsider in the third set. Handy opened with a Barracks, while Ace tried to brute force his way in with a group of Zerglings. Here's the twist, Ace saw one Barracks before his Zerglings died. Handy then smartly tried to fake a Fast Expansion by moving his superior Marine force down the choke, chasing away the Overlord, trying to disguise his 3 Barracks Sunken Bust attempt. Ace saw it last minute, took down several Marines with his Zerglings and could thus stall the incoming push. Few minutes later, Handy's forces were destroyed by Ace - iWL was up one set again.Wapool had the chances to even out the score against Artanis in a Protoss mirror on Overwatch. And that he did. Without explaining it further, it all came down to both playing relatively safe, until Wapool attacked with a larger force against Artanis without Psi Storms. On a related note, Templars should be called Masons nowadays. 2-2!Tau Cross, set Nr. 5: Ling, Ling, Ling, Muta, Ling, Muta, Spore, Castro (LaGFree) 3 - 2 Fenito (iwL)Fighting Spirit, set Nr. 6: Dandy, Protoss, recently participating in the ICCup Ladder Main Event against Justice, Terran, winner of the Eric Cartman Award for BM. Dandy opened with a relatively fast Nexus, added four Gateways and took map control. Justice opened with a Siege Expand and was behind from the start, because his CC took ages before it finally landed. Even though Dandy wasted a few Dragoons in some sort of wanna-be Bulldog push without Shuttle, took the game eventually. Justice pushed twice with relatively nice micro, but couldn't help but lose all his army to 1a2a3a masses. LaGFree came out as victor with a 4-2 win!And now for the upset, that's currently topic of discussions: Los Reyes Del Mambo Evolutions (LRM Evolutions) vs. the international Federation of Untouchables (iFU). The surprises started as the first proof for the existance of the Grinch could be given - LRM's manager tried to spoil everyone's fun by making tons of obvious remarks in several topics. This looked promising!In the opener of last week's cast the Hungarian monster Zerg Sziky, mercanary, bought and paid for by EywaSC, played against iFU's TvZ specialist Cryoc from Germany. At first it looked interesting, as Cryoc was able to completely neutralize Sziky's Mutalisk harass off two hatcheries and could furthermore push to Sziky's third. He took down Lurkers, few Drones, but lost his Marines shortly after without doing too much damage. Sziky countered with a group of Lurkers and forced Cryoc's Natural CC to lift. This was basically game over, as Cryoc's second push with Tanks and Vessels came in a bit too late and was crushed. LRM was up 1-0.On Colosseum II Polish trutaCz, the only player who recently really did challenge Sziky, was up against Scan. L_Master introduced the hero no LRM manager wanted, but deserved with "Scan is such a good player, he's really awesome and the heavy favourite" [... two more minutes praising Scan's skill...] "He has played in SOSPA and wasn't THAT horrible". Scan opened with a rather standard Fast Expansion into Marines and Medics, while trutaCz tried to counter with 2 Hatch Mutaliks. This didn't pay off, Scan's base was fortified and only the Natural ComSat was taken down in the harass. Meanwhile, Scan moved out, took down a few Mutas on his way. His attack was finally killed at trutaCz's base. A second attack finished alike, while Zerg was forced to be really defensive. The eventual loss came with a third push including Vessels - the score was even!Before the third set begun, the moaning started. If that's a coincidence or not - we don't know. Especially since the match between TechnicS (LRM) and Tama (iFU) on Outsider was one of the most interesting ones in the short history of STL. Tama opened with one Gateway against an Overpool, had to face Zergling pressure and started to transition into a very Dragoon heavy build. The game was ultimatively tense. L_Master described Tama's strategy as "ONE BASE POWER AGGRO", his Dragoon pressure on TechnicS' Natural Expansion as "walking Nightmare". Protoss threw Dragoons, Zerg countered with Speedlings. Tama microed very, very well and took some sort of small advantage, while balancing on a razor's blade. It got a bit awkward as the moaning by the muffled voice continued and L_Master mentioned something like "Tama continues to come all over the place". The game went into a sort of stalemate, as the Zerg base was defended well enough against Dragoons and Mutalisks were on their way. However, Protoss adapted and already had Corsairs and Cannons on his Natural Expansion. Zerg then moved in with a large attack, killed the Natural, lost his Mutalisks and had to face Overlord harass. The game was somewhat still even, as Tama continued with DT Harass and drops. One of the harassing DTs had more than 30 kills by the end of the game. In the end Tama only lost because he went out of minerals, while TechnicS himself had only his Natural Expansion running. A really great and recommended game! (LRM 2 - 1 iFU)It was Lancerx aka. Must aka. SexyManToss aka. everyone's darling's turn to try to level the score in a Protoss mirror vs. Wallace. In the past Wallace excelled, played very well and Lancerx was in some sort of slump, losing against newcomers needlessly. However, Lancer is a master of the Mirror Match, constantly won LANs in Moscow and is one of Defiler's finest players. He showed that by impressively outsmarting the Bulgarian newcomer on Overwatch. Both opened relatively safe, with the two of them getting an early Natural Nexus, with Must being slightly faster. Lancerx camped behind Wallace's bridge with a few Dragoons and a Shuttle plus Reaver. Once Wallace tried to move out, he had to realize Must was already there. Must could stall him, even though he had a smaller army - his only loss a retarded Dragoon, which relied on GPS to cross the bridge. Now the Bulgarian tried to take a detour with his army and moved through his backdoor. This is where Lancer's brilliance showed, he moved across the bridge and went for a counter. His Reaver took down tons of Probes and his Dragoons blocked Wallace's army. After this engagement Lancer lost half of his army, but was able to mine 1700 Minerals per Minute vs. Wallace's 700 Minerals per Minute. That was basically the end of set four. In the next minute Must played safe, defended a last attack and killed even more Probes with another Reaver. iFU 2 - 2 LRM!On Tau Cross Bonyth and Marwin crushed, two oldschool players in a Protoss vs. Terran. The moaning suddenly stopped and the muffled voice was gone. The game was the least entertaining so far, as Bonyth pressured Marwin from the start without having too much success. The Polish Protoss added Stargates in his main and went for Carriers off two base. Marwin missed his timing window for a push, was countered hard by Bonyth and the game was basically over. With four Carriers the Polish forced the Ukrainian back and put LRM one set ahead again.By this time iFU's leader eOnzErG realized he had to play himself to prevent a total loss. His opponent on Fighting Spirit was FremAN, a French Protoss, who recently returned. eOn took three bases and five Hatcheries, meaning using a rather ordinary Build. FremAN tried to attack eOn's third with seven Zealots and it first looked like a giant waste, as almost nothing died on Zerg's side. Shortly afterwards it turned out that it wasn't such a bad move after all, as DTs were freely harassing the third without Overlord support. However, eOnzErG decided to use all his Hydras to return the favour and went to the Protoss' Natural. Only one cannon and few Zealots weren't enough to completely throw back the attack. The Natural was under heavy fire for a bit. Protoss once more tried to counter off six Gateways with High Templars and Zealots, but overdid it a bit. The following attack by eOnzErG sealed the deal, iFU 3 - 3 LRMHypuuuuuu: THE FIRST DECIDER OF THE SEASON. And that in such an important clan war? That's not right, surely somebody had his fingers in it. Scan was up vs. Sziky, the two strongest players of Defiler and every other tournament. Official statements by ICCup, who obviously kill foreign Brood War since 2007, stated that Scan was playing the hours before this Ace match, because he was seeded into the ICCup Main Event - like Sziky who gave a walk over for the tour. Hence there was apparently some sort of reason that Scan was there for the Clan War in the first place. We call that bullshit and stick with LRM's Grinch, Scan attempted a go on Sziky's live. It's obvious. Scan kills eSports. That he never touched a maphack, played his games fairly, gained his skill by mass gaming with the best and that he was once a member of LRM are all bold lies. Instead we should focus on who he flamed years ago, because that's what kills esports.Back to the game, the two arch enemies played on Destination. Terran abused the map feature to build a Zergling tight Wall-In and teched to Wraiths off two Starports. Sziky tried a Zergling bust, but couldn't really deal damage. Scan's first two wraiths already took down Overlords and Drones, the second pair did similar. Sziky added Mutalisks and prepared for the next Wraith harass. Scan then moved out with a handful of Marines, forcing back the Zerglings at his Natural, while supporting the ground forces with his Wraith group. Sziky tried to attack the Wraith but was figuratively raped. There are no nice words to express how fast Scan tore apart the Zerg base, Sziky was basically chanceless. The upset! IFU WON! LRM LOST ITS FIRST CW!The wrath of LRM Evolution's manager is understandable, his suspicions about Scan's recruitment being a fake, just like the moon landing, might be more than the sign of paranoia. Last week's war between iFU and LRM Evolutions really did add a lot of tension to the overall situation. While it seems as if insanity without Limit's chances to reach a qualification spot are close to zero by now, LaGFree, LRM, sas, iFU and PsB are still fighting hardcore. Five teams are one team too much for the play offs!Let's do it backwards again. The match between AoV and iM) next week will not really matter for the important slots. Both will most likely end where they are now, +-1 match. This sounds worse than it is, given how hard the competition is. On first glimpse this sounds boring, then again, these two clans are somewhat equally strong. We have no idea what the average skill is, but it sure isn't bad. Instead of one sided rapes we could see a tense match and a second ace match. With Poetic and Glio there are two quite interesting newcomers for possible matches, as well as strong trolls like MVP. Who knows, this could be a lot more entertaining than expected.The other war is far more important. It looks like nothing can beat sas supposedly weak line-up. Even though their ace Sziky has been stolen by LRM shortly before the clan league started, they continued to win four out of four wars against the strongest teams. They already beaten iFU, who for some reason did not choose to use Scan and LaGFree. This means they already defeated two of the four rivals, which makes their qualification spot relatively safe.Stealthbunnies/PaiN on the other side are shaking a bit. They only faced LRM Evolutions so far and lost, they still have to meet iFU and LaGFree. A very good score, if not a win, is really important for them. Recently their oldschool Protoss and WCG 2004 participant Arcneon trains hardcore, which might be a sign of a harder preparation. Also, DragOn, an uprising Protoss player, could help to overcome whatever sas sends out. This has the reek of ace match to it as well, anything could happen. Let's wait and see.Speaking for the SBWI Award committee I can officially state that the SBWI Awards voting was not rigged. Posting them on Russian community pages is tradition, them rigging the polls has nothing to do with the international community. We call it blasphemy to imply that Jaevlaterran's secret mead meetings with the Ukrainian mafia had any impact on the outcomes whatsoever. The SBWI is not George Bush and the SBWI was not involved in any conspiracy. Having an own secret hand shake, having a secret room for a golden bat and owning an army of writers does not make a secret society! Also, the NSA confirmed our numbers.We can't tell you what to think, but we can try. In the spirit of the BW Community mutually supporting each other, we ask you kindly TO VOTE FOR BISUDAGGER (2pac make this blink in neon green, please!) in this SCII voting thing (Round of 16, Group C). Thanks for your attention, have a nice day and choke a rabbit!Comradexkcd, GeckoXP "Was macht Gecko da aus meiner BWCL." - Annihilator