“The reality is here that the budget position is in a shambles and every day it does get worse. No one is buying what you're selling."

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Who is this Australian hero on morning TV who’s replaced Karl Stefanovic? First there was the suit thing, then there was the Aboriginal affairs thing, now this. Everyone’s favourite Prime Minister/living stick of beef jerky Tony Abbott went on The Today Show this morning to shoot the breeze, no doubt hoping to ease into the day with some light banter. Last time he went on The Today Show the revelation that he was hungover made him seem almost human, so he could be forgiven for going in today with high hopes for a decent run.

Nope. Nope nope nope. Karl was in no mood for funny buggers today, and it took about two seconds for the Prime Minister to wish he’d stayed in bed, because Stefanovic handed him his own Speedo-d butt.

The trouble started when Abbott accused the Labor Opposition of acting “feral”.

Karl responded with this: “With respect, you were fairly feral in Opposition weren’t you…why would [Bill Shorten] do anything different when it worked for you?”

Then he hooked into the budget: “The reality is here that the budget position is in a shambles and every day it does get worse. No one is buying what you’re selling.”

Here’s the interview in full, if you really wanna see the fear in his eyes.

Ooft. Ooooooft. I never thought I’d think this, but that video actually makes me feel a bit sorry for Tony Abbott. Imagine slowly realising you’re terrible at your job, that you are just fundamentally not cut out for the thing you’ve chosen to do, and that other people feel the same way. Now imagine having that realisation as Prime Minister. On morning TV. We are genuinely watching a Prime Minister slowly implode, and it’s as fascinating as it is sad.

I think Karl Stefanovic may have just been struck off Tony Abbott’s Christmas Card list. What a beating. #auspol pic.twitter.com/StP11PCiQd — Let it Di Stefasnow (@MarkDiStef) December 1, 2014

Oh, also, I hereby stake my claim to Karl Stefanovic’s body and face. We’re on the Internet, so that makes it official. I understand he’s married and has several children. I do not care.

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