Editor’s note: we asked contributing writer Amanda LaPergola to write up a review on either Snow White and the Huntsman or Prometheus. We told her it did not matter which movie she chose, just as long as she got in a review within a few days of the movie’s opening.

Clearly, we never learn our lesson.

Yesterday, a package arrived at Mary Sue Headquarters with a not from Amanda’s Mom (“Dear Miss Sue: Please excuse Amanda’s tardiness. She has been in a state of emotional turmoil ever since reading the advance reviews of Brave.”) and the following pages.

This post contains SPOILERS for Prometheus and Snow White and the Huntsman.