You may not want to know this – and it would be sensible to wait until after breakfast before reading any further – but, apparently, lots of German men nowadays routinely sit down to pee. From quite early on, so it is claimed, German sons are taught that being a Sitzpinkler – translate it yourself – is the done thing and that being a Stehpinkler is simply antisocial. The purpose of this social revolution hardly needs detailed explanation. Stand-up men, let it simply be said, are messier than their seated brethren – and almost never bother to clean up. In some German homes, little notices are tacked to the underside of the toilet seat so that seat-raising males are reminded to consider their options. In others, a ghostly little gadget called a Spuk – a spook – similarly attached to the underside issues a verbal warning to prospective standers. When these gadgets first came on the market they were available in a variety of voices, including those of former chancellors Helmut Kohl and Gerhard Schröder. Nearly two million flew off the shelves, producing one of those unexpected but decisive changes in human behaviour which have helped to make modern German men what they are. All of which raises the question of whether British men might learn from the Germans. British women would certainly approve. And a little gadget with a David Cameron voice reminding British men not to raise the seat might prove to be one of the coalition government's more lasting and transformational achievements.