I personally became a junior member of the rice rocket club when I bought a Civic Si with 18-inch rims, and I deal with my guilt by pointing out much more ridiculous rice rockets in a desperate bid to prove I'm still cool. So here's a few things those dorky people who are completely different from me stick on their cars:

In certain circles (usually Asian-Americans and people who want to pretend they're Asians), the cool thing is to have a Japanese import that looks like it's souped up for street racing. If all the modifications are useless and possibly counterproductive, it's what my people call a "rice rocket." You probably have to call it something else, or else you're a racist.

5 Fake Engine Sounds

You've probably heard of a turbocharger, which is a thing that you put in your engine to make your car faster. I don't completely understand what it does, and for the purposes of this article, all you need to know is that it's considered cool to have turbo. Now, there are two ways to let someone know your car has a turbocharger (and that you are therefore cool). One is to put a sticker on it saying so -- more on that later -- and the second is to make sure everyone hears the sound it makes.

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So if you're putting your thinking caps on, it might be dawning on you that there's no reason to pay for this:

If you can just pay for this:

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That's right, that's a speaker system. A speaker system that can mimic the characteristic turbo sound. It even comes with a switch, so you can turn on the sound at stoplights and near attractive girls. (Feel free to call that sexist if you can show me a video of a girl revving a fake engine to impress a handsome man passing by.)

Listen to this awesomely sad piece of technology for yourself: