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I regret to announce that Lana Del Rey, soundtrack to my September, is reportedly dating a cop. A hot cop, but a cop nonetheless.


Entertainment Tonight reports that summer’s saddest singer is hooking up with Sean “Sticks” Larkin, a police sergeant and star of the A&E reality TV show Live PD. The two were spotted in Central Park on Monday:


Far be it from me to rain on someone’s Hot Ghoul Autumn, but this does give me pause, as Larkin is a) a cop, b) a reality TV star, and c) a CrossFit enthusiast, all of which do not, in my estimation, add up to a promising partner.

Of course, there are a couple nice cops and probably at least one nice CrossFit enthusiast out there, as I’m sure some of you will kindly point out to me in the comments. Still, I am very concerned, and not just because I don’t want any future Lana Del Rey albums to have happy undertones. Give me hot sadness (sad hotness?), or give me death, Lana! [Entertainment Tonight]

Speaking of love, or some approximation of it, Timothée Chalamet and Lily-Rose Depp have transplanted their French love and public French kissing to New York City. People says they were spotted on a “nightime stroll” through the city this week.


Last time Chalamet and Depp were photographed together—earlier this month, in very sexy Italy, on a very sexy boat—they looked like they were eating each other’s faces. From the looks of things, it seems Chalamet and Depp kept their tongues to themselves this time, but stay tuned, as young hormones always find a way. [People]

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