Stairwell Aficionado

From the rooftop, and after I'd eaten my meal, I ran down this stairwell to escape the bill.

But then I remembered that I had paid directly after ordering.

So then I performed the ancient vegan trick of regurgitating partially digested food to travel backwards in time.

I did so, re-filling my plate with a saliva-heavy gelatinous tempeh slider.

The world shifted around me, and then I was on the rooftop, 20 minutes in the past.

The outside stairwell cradled my feet as I propelled myself down it. I threw open the front door to the restaurant, saw my past self attempting to pay the cashier, and stole my own money back!

Fwahahaha's trailed behind me as I fled the scene.

But then the guilt set in.

Was I really about to deny my past self the pleasure of nomming a big chungus lasagna? No.

I ran back inside, returned the money, and complimented my other self on his physical attractiveness and the massive size and variability of his expansive Pokedex.

I walked back up the beautiful metal stairs to my plate of mush that time-traveled with me.

I then performed the sacred art of traveling FORWARD in time by eating the previously upchucked chicken scratch.





4/5 Would consume again, again.