EJ Montini

opinion columnist



The Maricopa County Attorney’s Office brought some common sense, finally, to the case of the Red Mountain High School flasher.

In announcing that his office would not prosecute the felony charge against Hunter Osborn, Montgomery issued a statement reading: “An assessment of the available evidence for the felony charge of Furnishing Harmful Items to Minors, ARS 13-3506.A., leads us to conclude that the evidence does not establish a violation of the statute. MCAO has furthered review of remaining misdemeanor charges submitted by the Mesa Police Department for possible submittal to the Mesa City Prosecutor's Office.”

As I said in an earlier blog: No harm, no foul.

It's that simple. Or should be.

Now for the other 69 counts.

The "victims" of the Red Mountain High School kid who, on a stupid dare (Is there another kind?) exposed his penis through the top of the waistband of his football uniform for a team picture, can save Hunter Osborn from the ridiculous 70 criminal counts he's facing.

His punishment should be having to pay to fix the yearbook, where the photo appeared. (I'd guess that those who already have copies will be reluctant to return it to be fixed, thinking of it more as a quirky collectible that, years from now, will be laughed at.)

It should be that way.

Not every instance of such behavior is a crime.

The naked lady on 7th Street

Back in 1995, on a chilly February morning, a naked lady crossed Indian School Road, heading south on Seventh Street. She waited for the signal to turn green and the ''walk'' sign to appear. She looked both ways. She crossed. Sometime after that she was met by police officers. She wasn't taken to jail, but to a hospital.

Thousands of potential "victims" witnessed her indecent exposure as they passed by on their way to work. No charges were filed.

And that streaker at the Academy Awards

In 1974, a naked man "streaked" behind host David Niven at the 46th Academy Awards. There were probably a thousand or so "victims" in the audience and millions watching on TV.

The streaker was interviewed after the show. By TV news crews.

It goes on.

And the 250 'mooning' college students

A few years back 250 Stanford University students drop their trousers during a noontime rally on campus and in unison "mooned" the gathering crowd.

They were hoping to make the Guinness Book of World Records.

Authorities say that the students and teachers who were present for Osborn's stunt can contact authorities and denounce their victimhood.

Let the punishment fit the crime.

Perhaps a fitting penalty for Osborn would be to have all of "victims" gather as a group in front of the dopey exhibitionist ... and moon him.

MORE FROM E.J. MONTINI:

Montini: 'Victims' can - and should - rescue the Red Mountain High School flasher

Montini: And then the Mesa student's 60-plus 'victims' exposed themselves to HIM

Montini: Is Mesa student's indecent photo stunt being overexposed by overreaction?