Length 1:41:50 Date: May 7, 2016

by Dr. Susan Block.

For our second great Masturbation Month show of 2016, we branch off into mutual masturbation as well as fornication, a Biblically loaded word for copulation, more commonly called “partner sex,” assuming sexual positions of all sorts, from simple “Missionary” to “Spoon and Fork,” “Standing Wheelbarrow,” “Flying Circus” and the “Double Decker Plus.”

My featured guest is Moushumi Ghose, MA MFT, sex therapist and sultry author of the hot new Quiver release, Classic Sex Positions Reinvented. Bringing these illustrated positions to life with megawatt energy, creativity, hilarity and their beautiful, flexible, naked bodies are the DrSuzy.Tv Commedia Erotica Players, a bonoboësque threesome consisting of irrepressible XXX icon Evan Stone, adorable starlet Loni Legend , and our dazzling DrSuzy.Tv associate producer Dayton Rains. One naked-Twister-like position after another, this sensational, sex-educational evening comes to a climax with Evan’s hand-churned spring shower of creamy semen all over Dayton’s bountiful boobs, an ejaculatory homage to the merry Month of May.

I had such a good time opening last Saturday’s Masturbation Month Kick-Off straddling the Sybian that I do it again for this show. But that’s pretty much all the time spent on machines. A mini Bonobo Sutra for the modern age, Sex Positions 101 focuses on the amazing sexual capabilities of the organic human body. Moushumi, who I last saw at our Erotique TV Sex Party: Group Sex in the Digital Age, over five years ago when she interviewed me about sex and religion for a sure-to-be-fascinating film she is still making with the catchy title of “Temples and Brothels,” is first up on my bed. Now she is promoting this wonderfully comprehensive new Quiver book of hers, which categorizes, describes and illustrates 100 different sex positions—and she’s tried every one! There’s something for everyone here, from the basics of missionary, doggy, spoons and scissors to limb-confounding contortions that only members of Cirque de Soleil and the Russian gymnastics team can perfect.

But great sex isn’t about perfection; it’s about connection, exploration and fun. And we certainly do have more fun than a barrel of bonobos on this action-packed show as we connect and explore some of the classic and convoluted sex positions in Moushumi’s book.

PHOTOS 1 & 2 : ONO BO. PHOTO 3: UNSCENE ABE

For getting these positions off the page and into Bonoboville, we have our triumvirate of porno power: Dayton Rains, Loni Legend and Evan Stone. Mr. Stone, as his name indicates, can screw a rock while bombed. A porn veteran and “legend” of prodigious proportions in every sense, he last graced my broadcast bed exactly five years ago, the first Saturday of May of 2011, in the title role of our Porno Charlie Sheen Masturbation Month Orgy when he busted a load of Adonis DNA all over Vicki Chase’s pineapple sunglasses, and the late great Hollie Stevens. Evan takes on each position with the passion of a player and the appetite of a deprived cave man. Evan’s current passion in life is “Killing Ron Jeremy,” soon to be a major motion picture. Like Ron, Evan only stops telling jokes when there’s a vulva (or an appetizer) in his mouth.

Stoney Evan does an eerily convincing roleplay of a horny, masturbating cuckold watching Dayton his hotwife have sex with little Loni in the incongruous role of bull. But he really wows the crowd when he picks up one or both of the ladies, taking them on Magic-Mountain-like sex rides, as the Bonoboville congregation sings “Hallelujah! Praise the Lord and the Ladies!” Especially these ladies.

Which brings me to that luscious little lady, Loni, already a “legend” at the tender age of 20. Loni can’t legally drink in Cali, but she can have sex on camera, and let us sing hallelujah for that civic blessing. Having first wowed us on Valentine/Lupercalia 2014 (which happened to include Ron Jeremy), riding the Mad-X-Bike on last year’s Kink Month kick-off, with a brief appearance at our 24th Wedding Anniversary, she notches it up for Moushumi’s “Sex Positions.” Putting on and taking off her new cherry bikini, she gets into the bonoboësque one-hand-on-the-floor “Suspended Scissors” position with Evan and learns to twerk from Ono Bo.

PHOTOS 1 & 3: ONO BO. PHOTO 4: JA

Suddenly, Moushumi’s book-hawking assistant, “Merch Girl,” rips off her blouse and bra, and rushes onto the broadcast bed, like Marion the Librarian possessed by the #FreetheNipple Spirit of Sexual Freedom, temporarily abandoning the merchandise in favor of showing us her own goods. After a few breathless pronouncements about how wild she feels, her devotion to Moushumi and her long-term personal adoration of Evan Stone, she plunges tits-first into some interesting sex positions with Dayton, including a few that resemble female bonobos doing hoka-hoka, as Loni pours the Astroglide and Evan kneads his knob. Interestingly enough, there’s not much actual penetration in this show, except when Loni and Dayton share the double-dong, which just goes to show how much fun humans (and bonobos) can have with imaginative outercourse and a good book!

PHOTOS: ONO BO

Altogether, Loni, Evan, Dayton and Merch Girl, with Moushimi and myself in supporting roles, are like an XXX parody of Laguna Beach’s renowned Pageant of the Masters, except instead of re-creating classical artworks, we’re re-creating Classic Sex Positions Reinvented.

This is the point at which porn, comedy and education (sex, fun, wisdom) converge, and this is why The Dr. Susan Block Show is “the greatest sexuality show on Earth,” but cannot and will not be seen on any major media outlets… though it is available worldwide wherever there’s an Internet connection.



In between all the sex-educational parodic pageantry, we manage to honor some of the dead and the living. In fact, we hold a sort of “Memorial Minute” (getting to be a regular feature on this show as of lately) as we say farewell to some of those who have left Lover Earth for whatever lies beyond. We pay homage to my former co-host, my beautiful 16-year-old snake Evie II, whom several of our guests had touched and loved. We also give a shout-out to Evan’s and my (and Corpsy’s) mutual friend Hollie Stevens, on the other side for a few years now. Capt’n Max takes a moment to bid adieu to his old friend, Charles Gatewood, whose ground-breaking photographs he once published. Continuing Masturbation Month festivities, it feels right to kiss Prince good-bye (for the third show) with a few bars of “Darling Nikki” as Moushumi and I sing along. Amazingly, throughout all this obituary talk, Evan keeps celebrating Masturbation Month—or is that Palm Sunday?— bopping the bishop and lubing the tube with Astroglide. Nothing can stop The Stone from beating his meat, especially in the merry month of May.

PHOTOS: UNSCENE ABE



Shout-outs to the living, including the cast and creators of the extraordinary hit show, Transparent, some of whom we met the other night while we attending their presentation (with Luzer Twersky who appears in some of the episodes) at the Directors’ Guild Theater. More shout-outs to our colleagues at AASECT (Moushumi and I are both members), some of whom might be mortified by this show, but many of whom I believe would appreciate its kinky kinesthetic synthesis of the body, mind and sexual spirit. For over a decade, I’ve been a quiet member of AASECT, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. But I’m getting set to step from the sidelines into the fire when I present The Bonobo Way: A New Great Ape Paradigm for Human Sexuality at the 48th Annual AASECT Conference on June 11 in San Juan. Big yay for our quick return to the Island of Enchantment where we are also excited to hook up with our ecosexual sister Dr. SerenaGaia and awesome photographer Destiny Lee Rodriguez. Coming up even sooner is The Bonobo Way at DomCon LA (May 21st!) where I’ll be presenting the bonobos as “The Most FemDom Apes on Earth” to some of the most fabulous human FemDoms in the world.

Before and after the show, we also say hi to cuter-and-cuter Goddess Maya and Boo (Dayton’s lovable gender-dysphoric Yorkie), a smokey happy birthday to Gonzo Bonobo, thanks to Bambi Bonobo for doing my hair, and props to Chelsea Demoselle, this week’s featured therapist at the Institute. After the show, Moushumi and I exchange signed copies of our books (the literary equivalent of air kisses), and I give Evan a well-deserved bare-bottom Bonobo Way book-spanking before signing his.

And the sex positions continue. Evan’s amazing pop shot provides an M Month exclamation point, but it doesn’t end the sexual conversation, as some continue to play in the bar and others pair off, triad-up or quad-out to continue practicing our positions.

As for Capt’n Max and I, after a few minutes of mutual masturbation, and comedic, cramp-inducing experimentation (we’ve been married for over 24 years, for Goddess’ sake!), we simply and unapologetically slip into our old favorite, Woman-on-Top and, sail off into a sea of orgasms, visions of positions intertwining in our heads.

PHOTO 1: ONO BO. PHOTO 2: UNSCENE ABE. PHOTO 3: SELFIE

© May 7, 2016. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 310-568-0066.