The Breed Street Shul in Boyle Hts. has announced that they will soon begin classes for local residents to convert to Judaism. The goal is to tie Latinos to Judaism so that when Latinos have more political power they will continue America’s support for Isreal.

Ricardo Montoyiswich a recently converted Chicano Jew said, “This will help re-establish the Jewish presence in Boyle Hts. and hopefully lure Canters back to the heights!” Montoyiswich, who will be teaching several classes at the Shul, said his life has changed for the better since he made the switch. “As an actor I was having a hard time getting work, but out of no where, once I converted, I started getting all these cool gigs.”

Some of the classes that will be offered include: “Putting Down Those Whiny Santos,” “How To Leave La Virgen and still Love Your Mom,” “Circumcising The Chile: Grin and Bare It,” “Menorah and Dradle Care for Chicanos (Don’t smoke it and it’s NOT Pon),” and “How To Trace Your Distant Jewish Roots.”

Sleepy Tonatiuh, a next door neighbor to the Shul and proud Aztec dancer said, “This ain’t right. They should be teaching people about the people on this land and how this land was stolen, just like the Isreali’s stole Palestine.” He plans to protest the classes once they open by having his danza group do ceremonies during class time. When asked for a response, Montoyiswich said, “Sounds like that indio needs to see the play “Palestine New Mexico” and learn how Indians are Jewish.”

Will there ever be peace in the mid Eastside?