I’m really confused when I see news stories talking about people needing to “defend” or “protect” traditional marriage as the reason for denying equal marriage rights to gay people.

I mean, the gay people are not trying to make traditional marriages into polyamorous ones, or trying to make straight married people into gay married people. In fact, gay people want nothing to do with “traditional” marriages.

No one’s touching your precious straight marriage, alright? No one wants to so much as breathe on it or touch it with a ten-foot pole! Your “traditional” straight marriages are perfectly safe from gay people.

Gay people are perfectly happy with having marriages of their own which have nothing to do with straight people.

That’d be like saying that your cheese sandwich is a traditional cheese sandwich and you must protect it and defend it from the gay people because the gay people want to eat their own ham & cheese sandwiches.

No one wants your friggen “traditional” cheese sandwich, ok? Go ahead, eat it in peace, mazel tov you idiots! And let the gay people enjoy their ham & cheese sandwiches in equal peace without you “traditional” cheesers breathing down their necks!