Boxing Legend Mary Kom’s Fights Outside The Ring

One of the few Indian athletes who made it big, Magnificent Mary, talks of her journey from rural India to the Olympics.

India is a country of 1.2 billion people. In the Rio 2016 Olympics, India claimed 2 medals. Critics in the international media derided India for its performance, and they weren’t alone. Indian author Shobhaa De infamously tweeted: “Goal of Team India at Olympics: Go to Rio. Take selfies. Return empty handed. What a waste of money and opportunity.”

But that’s precisely what Indian athletes don’t have: money or opportunity.

In London 2012, India won an all-time record of 6 medals. One of these was a bronze claimed by boxer MC Mary Kom.

Mary’s story is about her fight to get into the boxing ring as a young girl growing up in poverty in a deeply patriarchal society, to fighting at the Olympic Games, and returning to her hometown to prepare the next generation of her country’s athletes.

She is perhaps one of the few sportspersons — besides male cricketers of course — to have become a household name in India.

As Mary told me in an interview last month, in India, “it is not easy to be visible; to break through all barriers starting from the state level, national, and then international. Only a lucky few with outstanding achievements get any support. For a raw and fresh athlete, it is done by you and you alone.”

Mary is the daughter of landless agricultural workers. Her father, Tonpa Kom, worked as a farm hand, a woodcutter, a butcher, until he saved enough money to buy a cow and a cart to rent out. Her mother, Akham Kom, whom Mary describes as “a woman of action”, helped supplement their family income by weaving shawls. Mary too worked in the farm growing up.

“My childhood wasn’t as fragile as it is to most kids”, Mary recalls, “It was full of struggle and striving for survival. Nevertheless, I cherished and enjoyed every moment: playing, working, fighting, singing, fishing and whatnot. I cannot specifically recall any happiest memories, all I can remember is the joy of getting new dresses for Christmas, no matter how they looked. All that mattered to us was new clothes, which we were only able to get after months or a year.”

Mary developed an early interest in martial arts, so when local boxer Dingko Singh won a gold in the 1998 Asian Games and was received home a hero, she approached the head coach at the Sports Institute of India centre to seek training in boxing.

India is a country of contradictions. There is the India that’s fulfilling the prophecy of becoming one of the world’s next great powers: growing its economy, building new infrastructure, educating more of its people, enabling them to aspire higher and lead better lives. This is the India branching out to a better tomorrow.

Then there is the India that still clings to its roots. India remains a deeply conservative, patriarchal society: the girl child is often prescribed a life wholly different to that of her male counterpart. Her right to education may not be a given, her safety on her country’s streets and in her home compromised, her potential subdued until it is forgotten. This is the India that was named the worst country for women among the G20.

Manipur, the state where Mary has lived all her life, is on the eastern periphery of India. It is also on the periphery of India’s growth effort. New infrastructure, renewal of industry, these are a rare sight. What is common though is the sight of jeeps of the Indian armed forces that have been stationed there for decades to control an insurgency. Curfews are frequent and so are reports of senseless acts of violence committed by the armed forces or insurgent groups.

This is the context in which Mary took up boxing.

“For my parents, it wasn’t easy in the beginning but they later accepted”, Mary says.

India is no country for sportspersons. Boxing is no sport for women.

Mary (centre) with her parents Tonpa and Akham Kom.

Tonpa learnt about his daughter’s new pursuit in a newspaper clipping of her win in a state level game. After an initial hesitation, he saw Mary’s defiance and determination, a reflection of his own, and vowed to support her no matter what.

Still, Mary says “the initial days weren’t easy and I believe it’s the same for other athletes. I come from a poor family background. Every move is a big deal for us as money is a concern all the time. When we first venture into a field or trade, we don’t know what it will be like, but we proceed in good faith anyway.”

“Back in those days, the reaction people would give to women’s boxing was “oops!” There were discouraging comments and suggestions instead of positive ones and they were not wrong because we never knew the future of women’s boxing would turn out this way. There were lots of times that could have suppressed me from achieving but my determination and the inspirations I received from within and outside led me along.”

And they led Mary to win five consecutive World Championships in boxing. She remains the only woman to have ever done so.

The footage of these World Championship matches is not easy to find. Boxing is so far removed from the Indian consciousness in sport that these matches aren’t broadcast or streamed, and athletes with even record breaking feats of accomplishment are unrecognised and unknown.

Mary won one world championship after the next in the 2000s, a feat as remarkable as Roger Federer’s five straight wins at Wimbledon. She remained unknown to the public of the country she was representing.

Mary in 2012, in the lead up to the London Olympics.

In grainy footage of a couple of her winning matches, you can see the aggression that experts say is Mary’s trademark. Boxing is a contact sport but with strict rules. Attacks below the waist or on the back are not allowed. Knock-outs are rare, fatalities unheard of, and it seems as much of a psychological game as an aggressive fight.

Mary is 5’2, weighing in at 46kgs. That’s 158cms, 101lbs.

She’s all muscle, a packet of agility and strength. She’s springy, lunging forward for a quick jab and backing out of the way before her opponent can react. She’s significantly shorter than her opponents and has a naturally smaller reach, but she makes up for it. She stalks her opponents around the ring as if they were prey, baiting them, attacking aggressively and with preternatural calm.

It’s exhilarating to watch her in her element.

For a time though, she was a boxer who trained in a facility with no ring. It was on two occasions that Mary considered giving up her career and sport.

The first was when, as a young athlete, she travelled from Manipur to attend a training camp halfway across the country. On the train ride there, all her worldly possessions and life savings were stolen. “As a young girl those days, the first thought that came into my mind was to jump off the moving train and finish everything”, Mary recalls about the incident, “But I gave it a second thought. I said to myself, I am not alone and I don’t live for myself, I have got my family and my people who care about me and love me. Suicide wouldn’t be a solution, it would only add more burdens to them.”

In the tough days that followed, Mary met a man whom she would later marry, Onler Kom. Onler “really became the guiding light, starting from family matters to my boxing career”, Mary says. He became a combination of mentor and manager, and the man behind the woman.

Mary won her first three consecutive world championships thereafter.