i think it’s at least in part b/c people think that if someone who hurt them becomes a better person, all the people they hurt are then obligated to forgive them and accept them back into their lives. and b/c people who have not in fact redeemed themselves at all try to use “i’ve changed” as an excuse to worm their way back into their victim’s lives, so the idea of redemption becomes associated with excuses and returning shittiness. whereas part of genuinely becoming a better person is accepting that the people you’ve hurt may not want to forgive or interact with you even if you do become a better person.

i am not as much of an expert at this sort of thing as my tone may make me out to be though so take this with a grain of salt.