Outback Spectacular

I have been wanting to write this blog since March. Four months is a long time for me to stew on anything let alone something that I feel is as important as invisible disabilities.

However, before I begin telling this story, I want to make it clear that I absolutely adore Outback Spectacular. It is a genuine Australian experience and a fantastic dinner show well worth the money. The cast and the crew that put on the show do a fantastic job in making everyone feel welcome. The show is informative and tells a great story about life in the outback. As a result, my story in no way reflects poorly about the organization or their employees that put on the show. It is simply where my story occurred.

A Birthday Present

Clair, my wonderful partner, purchased tickets to Outback as part of my birthday present. She intended it to be a romantic date night for the two of us. Unfortunately, due to my surgery we had to reschedule the date. As a result, we ended up going to the show a couple of months later.

I was still struggling post-surgery when we actually did go. I look back at what life was like then and realize how far I have come. However, I still understand that I have a long way to go. Every day was/is a real battle between how I want to live and the demands that my bowels and bladder place on me.

However, I was excited to go to the show. I prepared the best I could. I took a backpack with a change of clothing and additional adult pull ups in case I had an accident.

The night was perfect. This is because the show was amazing, the three-course meal delicious and exactly what Clair and I needed following a stressful few months. I couldn’t have possibly asked for a better birthday present – a memory that will last a lifetime.

“You’re a selfish, lazy, bastard!”

I only had to go to the bathroom three times from the time we arrived – an hour before the show – until we left. Trust me when I say that this is a pretty good night for me. However, my one complaint about Outback is the limited toileting options. There is a men’s, a women’s and a single disabled toilet. This is suitable before and throughout the show but there’s a stampede at the end of the night.

I generally need an ambulant or disabled toilet. This is because my cauda equina syndrome. First, my motor skills aren’t always where they should be and so the added support really helps. Secondly, I still wear pull ups and am prone to accidents because I suffer from both urinary and fecal incontinence. However, I do not use a wheelchair and because of this it’s not obvious that I have a disability.

When leaving the toilet at the end of the night I noticed three people with wheelchairs waiting for their turn. None of them said anything derogatory to me. However, two of their carers did.

“Why the [expletive] are you using the disabled toilets? You’re not disabled! You’re a selfish, lazy, bastard!”

Instead of stopping by to explain myself – that I am disabled – I kept walking. Of course, this upset me. Yes, I told Clair what happened. She was mortified. However, to my credit, I understood this was going to be a first and that comments such as these would occur in the future.

I’m not the only one with Super Powers

However, there is always something greater than yourself. I was taught this from an early age. As a result, my biggest takeaway from this experience was that I am far from alone. There are people who suffer from invisible disabilities for their entire lives. Imagine the amount of times they’ve heard similar responses from an unknowing public. Because people cannot see our disability, they assume that we don’t have one.

It’s normal to assume that someone in my position uses the disabled toilets out of convenience rather than necessity. Alternatively, you may assume that someone is being rude and ignoring you because you didn’t know that they were either hard of hearing or completely deaf as they don’t wear a hearing aid (or you couldn’t see it). Another example may be thinking someone who doesn’t use a walking cane or have a seeing eye dog is of completely normal eye health when in fact they are blind.

That’s just the beginning. Before becoming disabled I was guilty of thinking all three things at times. It’s often not until you either work, live or play with people who have invisible disabilities or you have one yourself that you understand the big picture.

I’m really far from the only one who has a super power.