HALIFAX – Multiple sources have overheard Mark Griggs, who has recently been diagnosed as a complete and total douche, informing a tinder date that he is a very big deal on Twitter.

“The great thing about twitter is that it allows your voice to reach a global audience. I have followers in New York, Paris and Singapore.” said Griggs, listing off the locations of bots who follow him.

Griggs, who has also been accidentally followed by a line producer for Jimmy Kimmel Live, went on to describe himself as ‘connected to Hollywood’.

“I get how important social networks can be to people – my parents met on myspace. But this guy needs to chill out,” advised Griggs tinder date Jennifer Xiao. “I don’t know why he keeps boasting about being blocked by Zach Braff.”

During the the date Griggs, also know as @Griggsy82, checked his phone approximately 200 times, completely ignoring Xiao for 5 minutes after he was one of 300 people retweeted by Marlon Wayans.

“Lack of face to face communication and the ability to pretend you’re in a dialogue with someone who is important are the things that attract people like Mark to twitter,” advised behavioural psychologist Dr. Gina Gagnon. “It’s like a greenhouse for insufferable tools.”

Not everyone is as critical of Griggs. “Griggsy82 is the man” said twat Mark Brien. “He is tweeting hot fire everyday. Only a matter of time before he gets that blue tick and 280 characters.”

Griggs has approximately 10 000 followers on twitter, the vast majority from following people and then unfollowing them as soon they followed him back. Many of his twitter followers are also ardent Trump supporters who don’t register the barely perceptible sarcasm in his pro-Trump tweets.