Every human is a magician, and we can either put a spell on someone with our word or we can release someone from a spell. We cast spells all the time with our opinions. An example: I see a friend and give him an opinion that just popped into my mind. I say, "Hmmm! I see that kind of color in your face in people who are going to get cancer." If he listens to the word, and if he agrees, he will have cancer in less than one year. That is the power of the word.



This book is what my mother would have

This book is what my mother would have called "woo-woo."LOL No, not that kind of woo-woo. 'Woo-woo' meaning really 'out there' or 'hippie-dippie' or whatever people would call New Age stuff nowadays.That being said, I think the author's heart is in the right place and I think he touches on some very good topics and advice. He's basically teaching the reader Buddhism. He doesn't put it that way, but... *shrug*I'm going to try to boil this down for you and strip out the woo-woo so you can really understand what Ruiz is getting at.He is basically saying that you should live your life by four agreements:1.)This means, basically, don't gossip, spread venom, or hurt others with your words. Because words are powerful and they can really damage people.Not only are you damaging other people with your hateful/thoughtless words, but you are damaging yourself.I basically agree with this, although when the author (in the paragraph I opened this review with) basically says I have the power to give people cancer, I am a bit skeptical. o.O...2.)People insulting you or trying to make you feel like shit (and sometimes succeeding) are really fucked-up. They are not pointing to you and calling you stupid/ugly/fat/etc. because you really ARE stupid/ugly/fat but because they are fucked-up inside and therefore they are saying hateful things and looking at the world in a skewed way.Laugh it off. Brush that dirt off your shoulder. Don't take what people say to you personally. It really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.I don't FULLY agree with this, but I think in general it's a great concept. Very difficult to do, though. I think it would take a lot of practice to reach this level of zen.See? Look at this paragraph, which basically is how the whole book goes. This first part I agree with: you are wonderful. Other people telling you 'you are wonderful' is to be ignored, because you should KNOW you are wonderful and not be dependent on other people's praise of you.I've already got that and agree with it. Great point.But then he brings up this 'shooting you in the head' thing. I mean, o.O Yes, I guess you shouldn't take it personally... SINCE IT'S HARD TO TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY WHEN YOU'RE DEAD.I don't know, I feel like the author is sometimes taking this too far....3.)Communicate with other people. Don't date/marry people expecting they'll change - or wanting them to change. Love other people for who they are.Yes, I already know this and live it. Let me explain to you my philosophy.For example, I don't date smokers. It would be very bad form of me to see a man I liked, respected, was attracted to - and decide to date him, KNOWING that he smokes. This wouldn't be okay. Because I don't like smoking, and I would be unhappy - even if the man was all other good things: sweet, funny, kind, smart etc. Therefore I refuse to date smokers - no matter how sweet and cute they are - because I know I would end up miserable and making the man miserable. A smoker can be my FRIEND, I have friends who smoke - everything is fine. But once you make it into a romantic relationship it's a no-go. I'm not into nagging and I avoid dating men who I would end up nagging.This goes for everything. If you are the kind of vegan who is really, viscerally upset by people eating meat, don't date a meat-eater. If you only like thin, skinny women who jog - don't date a sweet, smart, funny fat woman and expect her to change. If you marry a man who is lazy, guess what? He is still going to be lazy after you are married. You nagging him 24/7 is not going to make him any less lazy. The only thing that will change is that you will both be miserable.I can't tell you how many of my friends I've seen suffer horribly trying to please someone who allegedly 'loves' them. If you love someone, you don't try to change them into something they're not.So although I'm wording this a lot differently than Ruiz, I basically agree with him. And communication is the key. You have to nip that shit in the bud. For instance, if you are a fat woman, and you are dating a man, the first time the man pulls some shit about your weight you have to shut that down. For instance, he suggests you order a salad as your meal or he asks you 'Are you sure you want seconds?' or he, out of the blue with no encouragement from you, buys you a gym membership or some shit, you have to step up and make it clear how things are going to be. Be like, "Look at me. I'm fat (or 'x size, or plus-size, or curvy or whatever you call it). That's not going to change. Either accept it and enjoy it, or get the fuck out of my life." Okay, maybe don't say 'fuck.' But you know what I mean.I would even go so far as to state this up front BEFORE he pulls any shit. You can be gentle, but make it clear that what you see is what you get.Goes for anything. Steak-lovers dating vegans/vegetarians, people who have high-paying jobs dating people with low-paying jobs, people who love fashion dating people who wear sweats every second they are not at work, people who love playing sports dating people who think sports are boring, etc. etc. etc. etc. If you are trying to change your lover than you don't really love him/her.This 'assumptions' thing is all about communication. It could be "That man smiled at me. He must have a crush on me!" when really he's just friendly. Or "Susie didn't return my call yesterday. She must be angry with me or not like me anymore!" Maybe she just had her phone on silent. Don't assume stuff. Instead, ask people questions and get their thoughts. Don't jump to conclusions....4.)Rather self-explanatory (you'd think) but I got kind of muddled in this section.For instance, Ruiz saysWhich sounds like he's saying, "Do a job/career you love. You should love going to work every day." And that is a nice, great concept, but I don't know how realistic this is. Just saying. Ruiz says:Okay, again, I agree with Ruiz - but I don't see him offering any kind of practical advice or alternative. Yes, tons of people - most people, I'd say - have jobs they don't enjoy. What are you gonna do? Not everyone can be an author! (At least, an author who earns a living wage.) I don't really feel like this section was very helpful....A lot of bullshit about how people are stars, we are all connected and everyone should love everyone. Some weird talk about 'being a warrior' which was not really explained and did nothing but confuse me. And some prayers that I didn't feel were particularly inspiring.......Another interesting thing is that Ruiz seems to have this idea:I've read about 85 books with this idea in it and I have to tell you it is a foreign concept to me. I never talk to myself this way. NEVER. If there are people who talk to themselves that way, I feel very sorry for them. :( I mean, other people are bad enough, I can't imagine putting YOURSELF through this kind of hell. I guess I'm lucky, because my kind of self-talk seems to be very positive and encouraging, and I think, because life is very rough. I can't imagine being an enemy to yourself like this.Perhaps this is in so many books because it is 'normal?' Gosh, I hope not. Please, if you are the kind of person who puts yourself down, try and stop this. :( The world is such that sometimes you are the only friend you have, and if you talk to yourself like this, then that means you don't even like YOURSELF, and that is very horrible. :( Be your own friend. Be kind to yourself - because you can't count on other people being kind to you....Well, that's it. I hope this review wasn't too 'woo-woo' for anyone, I tried to be real.Pretty good concepts, although sometimes I felt that Ruiz either a.) took it too far, and b.) didn't really offer you any solutions for things he said you should avoid. A short, quick read....P.S. I would just like to note that this book reads as if a 10-year-old had written it. This is not a compliment, I'm not saying, "Oh, this was easily accessible to the reader," what I'm saying is that this book has juvenile writing and it is as if you are reading something your nine-year-old wrote in English class. o.O This is no The Prophet , is what I'm saying. o.O