This tells me of a person who spent countless years learning the art of combat against an enemy she had only heard stories about. But as war started she saw the countless horrors of battle. Comrades killed, villages destroyed, and many other terrors. She saw the faces of the enemy and didn't see monsters but youth and men. (Maybe women too if she wasn't the only one.) Now that the war is over she is left alone in those thoughts wondering what place a warrior like her has in an era of peace.