For all the light #GamerGate has shown me, it’s shown me just as much darkness codeGrit Follow Jan 3, 2015 · 5 min read

This post has been a long time coming. I've spent that past few weeks trying to find the words I wanted to say. These might be them. They might not be. I guess only time will tell?

#GamerGate has been a big part of my online activity over the past 4+ months. That probably holds true for most people involved, both either “pro” or “anti”. It has, at times, consumed me. It has made me laugh my ass off, pound my fist in anger, and bruise my forehead from palming. Through #GamerGate I have met some wonderful people — some extremely bright people, caring people, good people.

I've also met some extremely shitty people. People I’d never associate with in “real life” (though, isn't the internet real life as well??). I’m okay with that, though. Sometimes enemies have to lay their swords for the common good. But therein lies the problem—the “common good”.

Why?

You see, I was never one to really care about journalistic ethics in video games. And it’s not even so much that I don’t care, it’s that I’m not naive. The media, and especially the online media, is fucked. It’s been fucked and it’ll continue to be fucked so long as it needs to answer to investors. The media will continue to do anything it can to line its pockets. It will continue to eschew the facts in favor of the “story that sells”.

I've never concerned myself with trying to “fix” that. So why, then, did I even throw my hat into this fight? Simple, really — I was butt hurt over the “Gamers are Dead” articles.

You see, I have a pretty troubled past — money problems, drug problems, drinking problems, etc. And for me, gaming was the cure to all of that. Gaming helped me in ways few people understand. And when they attacked me, well, it hurt.

It hurt for a lot of reasons. First off, you shouldn't be attacking the very people that line your pockets. That’s just idiotic, and one of the few things I cannot stand in this world is idiocy from grown ass adults who should know better (read: “professionals”). Secondly, they (the authors and supporters of these articles) pretended to take some moral high ground while simultaneously attacking a very real demographic of (stereotypically) troubled people (note: non-gendered, just people). The only thing I cannot stand more than idiocy? Hypocrisy.

Rather than dig into this further, you can read what I wrote a few months ago.. or watch the video I embedded below. I know, scrolling text… hang me ☺

So, I got involved. It was one of the best, and worst, decisions I made last year.

The Good

It was one of the best because of the people I've met. People like @Droppinplates, @OrdinaryPigeon, @Kerbs101, @s0urgr4p3, @ducesettutamen, @Edwin_Boyette, Brandon—the man behind @thenichegamer, @ellypriZeMaN (who is not actually a part of #GamerGate, but I met her due to our stream which grew out of GG), @Blake_The_Foxx, @Synthovine, @KainYusanagi, and so so so many more.

These are fucking brilliant people. They are kind, giving, funny, understanding, and just all around wonderful people. But they have also become so much more than that—they are now my friends. And for that alone #GamerGate was worth every fucking ounce of energy I've put into it.

The Ugly

For all the light #GamerGate has shown me in people, it’s shown me just as much darkness and that makes me fucking sad. You see, #GamerGate taught me what a “Social Justice Warrior” is… but let’s not be foolish here, I knew they existed. I've seen them on my timeline, on websites creating outrage, etc. I just had no idea they were as vile as they truly are.

Never in my 30+ years of existence have I seen a group of people bold-face-lie so easily. Never have I seen a group of people stand on top of every single major media outlet and claim to be about “justice” and equality while also calling people “house niggers”, “worse than ISIS”, “sluts”, “aspies”, and so many other forms of disgusting language that I almost want to call them “problematic”.

Nor have I seen a group of people so violently attack a woman, right after she lost her husband, because she dare to think differently. Or seen a group of people so violently attack a man who was not even a day removed from cancer surgery because… “reasons”, I guess?

Nor have I seen a group of people so violently attack that same man because he had the gall to notify his nearly 400k followers of a stream for a charity he’s partnered with. Or seen a group of people support someone who cancels said charity stream because “I’m on the verge of tears right now. This is not what I wanted. One fucking person ruined everything for me.”

I've never seen a group of people so cheerfully exclaim that video games are art, and therefore are open to any and all critiques, while also trying to dictate what the artists can and cannot say in their creations. I've never seen a group of people so loudly proclaim “We’re not trying to censor you!” while also telling you that you should self-censor yourself and that’s not “real” censorship.

I've never seen a group of people so forcefully reject stereotypes while judging the majority based on the actions of the minority. Nor have I seen a group of people apparently believe sexism towards a specific gender is impossible or racism towards a single specific race doesn't exist.

I've never seen a group of people so in love with fallacies and hypocrisy or so willfully ignorant to their own irony.

#GamerGate has shown me what selfishness truly looks like. It’s incredibly fucking….. heartbreaking. For that, and that alone, I also despise #GamerGate.

Moving Forward

I will continue to support #GamerGate—not because I expect the media to start acting ethically, but because I believe this is a line worth standing at.

Because I believe all people are equal, not just those deemed “worth it” by some mid-twenties nobodies sitting on their high horse, silver spoon still in their mouth.

Because I believe we should talk about the harassment of all people, not just those deemed “undeserving of harassment”.

Because I believe all art has the right to exist, even if it hurts your feelings.

Because I believe all people have the right to their own thoughts, even if you deem them “problematic”.

Because I believe all people have the right to their own voice, even if you think they should stay silent.

Because I believe the correct solution to art you don’t like is for you to go away, not the art.

Because I believe the proper response to disagreement is discussion, not censorship.

Because I believe in free thought, free speech, and free expression.

Because I believe in individuality.