Senator Pauline Hanson is a prime example of not realising one's limitations. Credit:Alex Ellinghausen How long will this farce go on? And why did everyone think it would be any different for One Nation this time than it was last time – a complete shambles. Remember when they got a dozen or so of them into the Queensland Parliament in 1998? They fought with each other like cats in a sack, broke into factions and couldn't agree it was Wednesday, let alone form a coherent policy that actually helped anyone. This lot is heading the same way. Still, as John Eales once said, referring to me: "No one is ever a total waste of space ... you can always serve as a bad example." Stop Press. Not long after I wrote this, Senator Culleton was at a morning tea, and was asked how everything was going. The day before he'd said the whole imbroglio with Pauline Hanson was "a storm in a teacup". Now, just as he pulled out his own teacup, a whole pile of them collapsed, as the cameras rolled. The next day, Ms Hanson did a photo opportunity in snorkel and wetsuit, to show the Barrier Reef was fine, and global warming a hoax – about 1300 kilometres south from where the problem lies. And so it goes!

Me and Mr Jones ... The line of the week? As reported by Bernard Zuel in the Herald, it belongs to the great Neil Finn of Crowded House fame, as his mighty band recreated their famed farewell concert on the Opera House forecourt 20 years ago, by reforming and belting out another fabulous concert on Thursday evening. "Let's wake up Alan Jones," Finn called to the crowd singing along at the top of their voices. "For the public good ... for the sake of keeping Sydney open." As it happens the broadcaster, who is recuperating from a serious back operation wasn't there, but, anyhoo. Wherever he was, Jones was skinny, as he has recently lost – I am reliably informed – a massive 25 kilos, after being diagnosed as pre-diabetic.

How? By exactly the way David Gillespie, Sarah Wilson and myself have been advocating. Cut out the sugar, and it all comes good. "Suddenly," Jones recounted to a caller a couple of weeks ago, "I had to try and get the sugar out of the system and I had to change. I'm not on a diet, I eat a lot of stuff and I'm never hungry." Bingo! I always thought it would be a cold day in hell when Jones and I agreed on anything, but there you go. It would be great if, for once, Jones could use his undoubted influence to spread the word on something really worthwhile. Cutting the sugar really is the way to health. Either way, in terms of his recovery, TFF, for once, wishes him well.

Joke of the week Paul is a smartarse. Not a nasty smartarse, or a troublesome smartarse, just ... well ... I suppose he is really a smartarse's smartarse. Perhaps his finest moment came last Tuesday morning, as he commuted from Penrith to Central on the train – a trip that takes about an hour. As ever, to pass the time, he read the Herald on the way. As ever, once he has finished reading the paper he sits upon it, because that helps to keep it in good shape, and he can give it to a work colleague when he gets to the office. Sitting on it also brings the added benefit of forestalling fellow passengers asking if "yer'd mind giving me a go at yer paper, mate?" Because yes, Paul would mind. When you lend papers like that, you never get it back intact. And on this day, all has gone exactly as before. He finishes reading the paper by the time he gets to Summer Hill and sits upon it for the last couple of stops before he gets to Central. And then it happens. One of those yuppie types gets on at Petersham and sits down beside him. The train has barely pulled away from the station before the yuppie points to the SMH beneath Paul's posterior and says, "Excuse me, mate, are you reading that?" This was his time, this was his moment ... Beaming, Paul stands up, carefully turns the page of the paper, sits down upon it again and says: "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. But it won't be long now before I've finished it ... and you will be welcome to it."

Twitter: Peter_Fitz They said it "Where were the National ministers? Where were the National cabinet members?" Senator Penny Wong after two backbench senators, Bridget McKenzie and John Williams, crossed the floor to vote to allow the Adler shotgun, and four other Nationals, including cabinet ministers Nigel Scullion, Fiona Nash and Matt Canavan, abstained from. "We'll return to surplus when expenditure is less than revenue. Now, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to work that out."

Treasurer Scott Morrison explains the government's position in Parliament. "My worst nightmare is a drunk child with scissors." Artist Megan Geckler, after spending three weeks installing her art work of 14 kilometres of flagging tape in Customs House, although the thought is true for most people. "If I'm swatted today, like a mozzie, well then, I've done my bit in Australian history and no one can say that I haven't given it my best shot." One Nation senator Rod Culleton before facing the High Court to see if his election was valid.

"I had always hoped that somebody would give themselves up but murders are not often solved that way. There has been so much work done on this over many years that we'd think 'why hasn't something popped up? What have we missed?' And it made it always seem like maybe it wouldn't be solved." Former Detective Inspector Bradley Cox, who took over the investigation into the disappearance of Quanne Diec in 2000, two years after Quanne disappeared near her home in Granville. A man was arrested this week for the crime. "We're going to have a president again who will never say what we'll never do." Vice-President-elect Mike Pence, refusing to rule out the use of waterboarding as an interrogation technique under the new regime. "I wish to restate as firmly as I can that abortion is a grave sin, since it puts an end to an innocent life. In the same way, however, I can and must state that there is no sin that God's mercy cannot reach and wipe away when it finds a repentant heart seeking to be reconciled with the Father."

Pope Francis, saying that any Catholic priest can now grant forgiveness to a woman who has previously had an abortion. Before this, abortion was a "crime" that required a higher authority than a priest to absolve. "What I was doing was poisoning myself with some really severe methods. It was a fascinating, but devastating, experience." Actor Jared Leto, on how he rapidly gained at least 20 kilograms for the 2007 film Chapter 27, by bloating himself on pasta and pizza, and even ice-cream melted in the microwave which he would then drink.