Hey Readers — The American Studies major in me can’t get enough of the way language changes with the culture. At my lectures (book ekbehnakak

me!) I always point out what someone once noted right here: “Arrival” and “dismissal” at school have morphed into “drop-off” and “pick-up.” Inherent in those new terms is the idea that an adult is, of course, always with the child. The new terms define the normal culture. And now look at this:

Dear Free-Range Kids: “Cross my heart and hope to die/ Stick a needle in my eye,” has been changed. My kids know, “Cross my heart and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye.” – A Reader

I guess so many kids were sticking needles in their eyes, we simply HAD to change the rhyme. But really, what’s so disgusting about this change is that it assumes — once again — that while every previous generation could chant the old rhyme without becoming terrified, suicidal or eye-maiming, this generation is so endangered, it needs to be protected from even the sing-song suggestion of harm.

Sheesh. This is the same mentality that believes that when children point a pencil and go “Bang!” is is practically the same thing as kids shooting each other. We are becoming so literal, I could throw up.

Wait!! I don’t really need that bag! – L

UPDATE: Commenters are noting that the new words come directly from My Little Pony, which to me just means that some TV exec didn’t think anyone could say, “Stick a needle in my eye” on a kiddie show, which is in itself a sign of the times. But at least it’s not what all kids are saying now. – L.

All eyes on cultural hysteria!