There’s not much that’s guaranteed in this life, and the things that are tend to be well-known.

You know: death, taxes, dodgy hangovers from mixing drinks, and Douvan winning the Queen Mother Champion Chase at 3.30pm today.

Ruby Walsh loves him, Willie Mullins loves him, so why wouldn’t Paddy Power love him, too?

The thing is, even your most half-baked, mustard-trouser-wearing tipster will know about Douvan, and it’s neigh on impossible to find much value in backing him.

He is, after all, more of a banker than the entire Rothschild clan.

Unless, of course, you bet with Paddy – some loon in our marketing department has come up with a special of 4-1 that Douvan wins by 15 lengths.

That would be a sensational victory, but one this super-horse is well capable of delivering.

Elsewhere, one horse I’ve been going on about for weeks now is Messire Des Obeaux.

(Getty (Getty)

Honestly, the number of people I must’ve bored senseless during preview events / knees-ups would probably outnumber the Festival’s crowd – but there’s good reason that I’ve been making such a Cheltenham roar about its chances in the Neptune Novices’ Hurdle (1.30pm).

OK, so he was beaten last time out at Huntingdon, but I think that was a bit unfortunate. And, without that blemish on his record, he’d be coming to Cheltenham unbeaten – plus plenty of ‘in the know’ support.

That he’s been able to sneak somewhat under the radar means there’s some decent value on him upsetting the favourite, Neon Wolf.

I could do with a few wins, as yesterday has already taken its toll – despite my vows every year to break myself in gently on the first day, I always end up getting carried away slightly with Cheltenham fever.