12. If you have to spend the holidays in a place that feels unsafe or uncomfortable for you, let your friends know that you might need to text them to help keep yourself sane. Not everyone will be available during the holidays, but they might be happy to keep their ringer on if you give them a heads up that you could use their support.

13. And if you have to be around people that annoy, anger, or upset you, pretend you’re an anthropologist. It might be easier to take family drama in stride if you’re pretending to study how this group of people spends the holidays. AKA observing closely, but keeping emotional distance so things don’t get under your skin.

14. Ask around to see who else is around for the holidays — and potentially feeling down about it, too. Having people to commiserate with, or maybe even spend time with, could make a big difference.

15. Set boundaries — and then actually honor them. If you don’t want to talk about your love life with your nosy aunt, be prepared to say, “Oh, I’m not really thinking about that right now” and to change the subject. Firmly. If you don't want to be super social, RSVP no to holiday parties and don't think twice.

16. Ask for help. “I need space.” “I need attention.” “Could you actually come along to the grocery store with me and keep me company while I make dinner?” “Please don’t make me feel guilty for not coming to your cookie party this year.”

17. And if people offer to help, take them up on it.

18. Bookmark this list of things to do when you feel like shit.

19. Try not to self-medicate with alcohol. The distraction might be nice in the moment, but booze really does worsen feelings of depression, loneliness, anxiety, grief, or whatever shit you’re dealing with.

20. Get yourself some cozy day pajamas (or just dedicated soft clothes). On days you’ll be home alone, plan to get up, wash your face, brush your teeth, take a shower (or at least put on clean underwear), and then put on those fresh clean jammies.

21. Go for a stroll or a ride whenever you can. Getting some fresh air and winter sky may make you feel better (and it will likely not make you feel worse). So if you can easily and safely get out for a walk or a stroll or a ride, do it! If you can’t, consider whether there’s another way you can move your body and/or be outside for a bit.

22. If you have the bandwidth, clean/tidy your home so it feels as cozy and bright and homey as possible.

23. Lean into string lights. Truly, a little light goes a long way when it starts getting dark at 4 p.m., and can make a sad night at home feel a tiny bit more magical. Leave ‘em up all winter if you want to!

24. Get rid of old things that you can't use right now or that make your heart hurt. Give your closet a major clean-out, delete photos from your camera roll with abandon, etc. You don't need that shit bringing you down.

25. If you have pets, concentrate on throwing them the best holiday ever.