This is why I advocate for the use of the descriptor ‘childfree’ instead of ‘childless’ for women like me. Childfree implies a choice that many women don’t know they have. A freedom – it’s right there in the name. More than that, it’s a rebellion against societal expectations and community norms.

Historically, society doesn’t like women taking freedoms for themselves, especially when the survival of the entire species is apparently at stake, so it’s vital to express solidarity, be a role model, and promote preferred terminology like childfree. It’s a way to own my status.

Claiming freedom from societal norms is never without cost. Having children is perceived as a duty, first to the individual family or genetic line, secondly to the immediate community (at a family funeral a few months ago, the religious leader informed us mourners that a woman’s job was to have babies) and lastly, to the species. There’s an implication of “What if every woman thought like you?” – as though I personally am supposed to be responsible for the continuation of the entire human race.