I applied for a simple security escort position with the NSA. I just had my polygraph.



I'm a 23 year old female and just graduated last year from a public college. I've never had a security clearance or had any kind of government job before.



I am a generally anxious person- anything from long car rides, school tests, and even going to the movies makes me sick or anxious. I went in feeling ok and confident because my girl friend had just taken it earlier that day and everything went fine for her.



The examiner was perfectly polite etc- a young male. I am a very honest blunt kind of person- in fact telling the truth gets me into trouble sometimes, so I had no qualms about opening up like a book to him. Finally got me hooked up and got a baseline on me fine. His focus questions were general and the other questions were of the espionage/spy variety. He tells me that since I've never had a security clearance or had access to goverment documents etc- that it would be almost impossible for me to engage into any kind of espionage, terrorism etc. Of course I kind of giggle when someone asks me if I was a spy/terrorist/saboter because I can never imagine myself in a million years being any of those things.



So- first test he runs comes up inconclusive and immediately his tone changes with me. Harsh sounding. He tells me that I must listen to everything he says and that I need to breath- apparently I didn't breath for like 15 seconds. I told him sorry- that I didn't realize I was doing it. So I tried to fix it for the second test since he seemed mad that I hadn't done exactly as he said the first time. But of course- that one came up inconclusive to because I focused on my breathing. And he is becoming more harsh with me and I apologize even more- tell him I'm sorry that I'm just trying to be calm and trying to get him some test results he can read. And I'm not quite sure what I can do- he told me that my nervousness would not effect the results but they were. He accuses me of not taking it seriously and raises his voice and his tone is harsh when he repeats the questions again (the test isn't going, but he is asking), "Are you a blah blah involved in etc?" And I'm very serious and tell him, "No" to every question. And he was like "Ok then, show me."And he says why should the NSA give me a clearance if I can't pass this test? He says what do I have to be so nervous about? I was very sensitive to his grilling and I'm very upset at this point because I am seem to be unable to give him what he wants and I start to cry. Not sobbing, but my emotions are getting the best of me since I seem to be failing at something that should be so easy. And he asks me why I am crying and why I am so upset and I tell him because I can't seem to do what he wants- and he seems more agitated by this- "Don't worry about me. There is nothing to cry about. Don't worry about the results, just answer the questions." He becomes less harsh after he sees such a emotional reaction and tells me to use that emotion for the test. At this point- I'm feeling completely embarrassed and a little less racked with anxiety. I just can't believe this man made me so upset and that I cried!



I calm myself quickly and finally we get some results. I say, "Well i guess since you aren't reprimanding me- you must have gotten something readable." And he gives me a funny look and says "I never reprimanded you." And I'm just confused. He takes the stuff and leaves the room and comes back saying we are going to do another test. He says the test is better for people like me. Basically on some of the control questions- he has me lie purposefully on those. And we do that and then I'm able to get out of there.

Whether my results come back fine or not- I now believe this isn't a reliable method of finding out if people are lying or not. The whole thing just struck me as ridiculous.