Unexpected Love

If someone were to tell me a year ago that I would end up with a trans man, I wouldn’t have believed them. Now it just seems natural to me. I met my boyfriend Nick online last November. At the time, I was a lonely lesbian looking for someone to love and be in a relationship with. Nicole, as I knew him at the time, seemed like a pretty cool and down to earth type of gal. We emailed each other back and forth online for a while before we finally met in person. Our first date we went to see Christmas lights around where he lives. I immediate sensed I was pretty much dating a guy. He wore dress slacks and a dress shirt, which is typical of any guy going out on his first date. He also wore male cologne which reminded me of my father. Yet, it did not matter to me. All I remember from that night is that he was very chivalrous and nervous. Nick treated me like a lady and made sure I was taken care of. He forgot where he parked his car and stumbled over his words. He gave money to a homeless man that we ran into, which impressed me greatly. What can I say? By the end of the night, Nick’s charming personality had me smitten.

We took our relationship slow. First, we held hands. It took Nick awhile to do that. On our third date to see the Hobbit I threw him hints throughout the movie that he would hold my hand. Yet, he just could not bring himself to do it. It was not until I told him my hand was cold on our way out of the movie that he finally held my hand. Our first kiss took a little time too. I waited a few months for him to get up the courage to go for one. Finally, he asked me if he could on Valentine’s Day. And let me just say it was a kiss well worth waiting for. He also had us wait until we were well into our relationship to have sex. I really admire him for doing that. It shows that he cared enough about me to get to know me before we got affectionate with each other.

After about a few months of dating, I knew I loved him. I told him first through text. He was not ready yet to say those words, but finally did when he was ready to. It was around this time that we started to discuss him being transgendered. I knew he was pretty much a man but I had not yet asked him. It did not matter to me really. Nick has always been Nick to me. I did not need to put a label on him. Yet, I figured it was time we discussed it. We were out on a date to see a musical, which he surprised me with on my birthday. I asked him if he thought he was transgendered and he said yes. Then I said it did not matter to me and that was the end of that. The night just went on. It was one of the best dates he ever took me on.

So far my boyfriend has not decided to start transitioning into a man. He wants to but still needs to work through factors in the decision. Personally, I do not care what he does. If he does not transition, then things will keep on going on as they are. If he does, he will look more the way he feels on the inside. He says I would have to keep him on a leash to prevent him from smothering the whole world in his happiness. All I want to do is encourage him to do what will make him happy. A relationship is about helping a partner grow into who they are. If my boyfriend decides to transition, that will be my role. It may not be easy to go through it with him but the love we have for each other will get us through.

I am just glad that I have found someone as caring, charming and smart as my Nick. I did not expect I would end up with a trans man. I wanted to fall in love with a woman but I ended up falling in love with a man. As crazy as it is, I love Nick for the man he is and have never loved him as a woman. God loves to mix things up every now and then I guess. I just look forward to moving in, getting married and maybe starting a family with Nick. Along the way I hope the support we give each other will allow us to grow into stronger individuals.