(BOOK) 힙합하다: RAP MONSTER (Part 3)

If you ask what hip hop means to me, now I can say it. Something I like, one of the things I like, "one of them" and "my favorite." It's no more and no less than that. in regards to this, if you say that I have no knowledge of or respect for the culture, I can't do anything about that; this is the best that I can do. There are many things that I like. music is first, and after that is clothing, travel, and books. There are these four things that I like, and ahead of all of those is hip hop. I really like clothing. If I go broke in the future I think it'll be because of clothes. (laugh) I buy a lot. and for some reason the genre that I like is a mania genre called 'dark wear' so the clothes are incredibly expensive. I'm the type who invests a lot into clothing because I'll wear them for a long time and because I think they're a simple method of self-expression. I can't go shopping often, which I regret. I can't travel far away, so I mainly travel by myself to nearby places, I go to Nami Island or Jungdongjin, or to Chuncheon. I go by myself to gather my thoughts and receive inspiration.





This could be arrogant, or a delusion, but I try to talk to the fans about music that I like or rappers that I like. It isn't that I'm asking for understanding; rather, it's because there are a number of people who have said that they started listening to hip hop because of me. It's not because I made an effort, but just that the fans naturally became interested in hip hop or rappers and so they end up going to other artists' concerts. I think of this as one way that I can contribute to this culture or method. I'm cautious to say this, but at any rate there are many fans who listen to hip hop, who listen to rap because of me… clearly, there are people who are becoming interested in this culture, whether in directly or in a more roundabout way. Even if they think about that part once, I'm thankful for it. I really like Korean hip hop. Garion, Verbal Jint, P-Type, Soul Company, Supreme Team… I came up by watching all these cool hyungs, and I receive limitless influence from them.





These days I've been thinking about various things on my own, and I think that I've come to better understand other people, the thoughts of other people and their anxieties. Since that's on my mind, I think a lot and I want to talk a lot. It's really ironic. Hip hop isn't that kind of thing. Actually, when I did this interview I hesitated on whether I had to do it. It's true that I started just because I liked hip hop. But if you ask whether 'hip hop' and 'idol' can co-exist, a long debate always ensues. I like hip hop, I love hip hop, but I feel that contained in the thesis "I am hip hop, I do hip hop" are countless histories and things unseen. It's still difficult. I think that instead, I can just say, "I like music, I love hip hop, and I do rap."





I tried imagining myself 5 or 10 years from now, but 5 years ago I was a trainee, and 10 years ago I was just beginning to listen to hip hop. It's a big starting point, and the me I imagined then has almost nothing in common with the me of now. So after I tried to continue my image making for some time, I finally realized that there's no real meaning to it. I have a vague schema, but I don't want to be tied to that and would rather live while focusing on the present. I hope now that I can have a little more conviction towards myself, and that I can become a person who can give a slightly more positive influence. As time passes I feel more and more like I'm losing my self-conviction, so I hope that in the future I can have more conviction toward myself. As my field of vision widens, I suffer from a kind of identity crisis about the me I thought I knew. So 5 years from now, or 10 years from now, I hope that I can become a person whose confidence in myself is clear and unwavering.





Recently I read "The Stranger," and one of the things Albert Camus said is, "the best art is art that speaks little. Leave a space and let people fill the space themselves; that is good art." I really agreed with these words. Rap is something that has a feeling of telling one's own story in a very detailed way, but after being involved in this for a long time, I've also come to have a different perspective. It isn't "I'm going to change the world! through my story I'm going to convey hope and dreams to people!" but rather, it's enough if people hear a song and it leaves some kind of impression on them. If I'm able to leave a mark on someone's life, even if for a moment, then hasn't that in itself already fulfilled the function of music?





Even if the culture and emotion are respectively different, there's nonetheless something that can pierce the time period. I think that the people who live in any one generation have emotions that they can share. So if we talk about these things, then in one way or another people will embrace it. If I talk about my deficiencies and hopes, then others will accept it in their own way. I don't feel that there's a need to create a boundary of necessarily needing to convey a certain message. What I liked about Camus' words was the idea that there are many stories contained within those connotative figures of speech and metaphors. I have things to think about in the future, so it seems like rather than trying to pack in all my stories to convey them, on the contrary I want to work to remove my stories instead. In the future, I'm going to try say things without prolixity, but rather concisely. I thought when I wrote lyrics that I would write 16 words and then choose more, but rather than that, if I have this much, then I'm reducing it little by little.





I have a lot of things I want to do. So these days I'm even singing. (laugh) It's not a joke, but I even sometimes regret that my name is Rap Monster. If I'd read Camus' book a little earlier, I might not have even ended up as Rap Monster. (laugh) So these days I'm writing it mostly as 'Rap Mon' or 'RM.' Really, in the future I might end up changing my name to this. (laugh) If the time comes to change it, you can think of it as me having followed through on the resolution I'm making now. (laugh) It would be nice if 5 or 10 years from now, people could see me and think, "he really did want to do many things, and he did well in his own way." Although it's all mixed together, it's not pig slop but rather delicious budae jjigae.* I have a lot of greed,** so I'm not the type who can clearly say that I'm going to do just this one thing. But I don't know. That could become a curse or could become any number of things, but among those it seems like I'll have to find my own method of achieving equilibrium. I'm practicing to find that method. I want to polish it and refine it and show you only the substance of a diamond.





date 2016.3.18

location Seoul Nonhyeon-dong Big Hit Entertainment office





* 'army stew,' traditionally made by mixing noodles, spicy sauce, and whatever leftovers could be found from US army bases in Korea.

** greed is not a bad thing, just a lot of desire towards a certain goal or subject.