FOR Jharal Yow Yeh, the pain could not be more confronting, the disappointment forever haunting. Yet still he smiles like a Powerball winner.

That is the mark of the man, and why the Broncos are determined to never lose him.

He sits in small office at Broncos headquarters, overlooking the gymnasium he inhabited almost daily with Broncos teammates as the hottest wing prospect in rugby league.

The gym is so close Yow Yeh can hear the shrill of players pumping iron. But mentally, and in his heart, he is a world away.

BENNETT WILL MAKE FINAL CALL ON INGLIS

HODGES COMPLETES TRANSITION TO LEADER

media_camera Jharal Yow Yeh is coming to terms in his new life in the Broncos’ offices.

It has been almost a year since Yow Yeh made the toughest call of his life and retired from rugby league.

It was not meant to end like this, a 25-year-old at his athletic zenith now sharing a squat office with Peter ‘Nugget’ Nolan, the Broncos recruiter who signed Yow Yeh as a teenager for $2000.

Now working as the Broncos’ indigenous support officer, the former Origin and Test flyer has been to hell and back.

There have been 10 operations on his ankle to treat the worst footballing injury doctors have seen in 34 years.

Sleepless nights. Tears. Bouts of depression. Medical advice he is likely to one day need a walking stick.

But Yow Yeh refuses to submit a sob story, every tap of the keyboard an imperceptible march towards rebuilding his life.

“There are still some dark days where you say why me?” says Yow Yeh, who never made his way back to the NRL despite a brave fight after a horrific ankle compound fracture against Souths in March 2012.

“Footy is the only thing I have known since I was a boy and that’s been my profession. It is difficult sometimes because I am only separated by a wall from the boys in the gym.

“From my office, I can watch the boys train and I miss that a lot. I miss the bonding.

“It has been hard to transition into the workforce. There’s been tears and I was depressed for a little while, but there are kids out there with cancer who are worse off than me.

“I’m enjoying working with indigenous kids. I can relate to them. I want to make a difference.”

media_camera Jharal Yow Yeh’s ankle injury means he will eventually need to use a walking stick.

Cutting the umbilical cord completely was so tough that Wayne Bennett had to do it for him.

In between his indigenous and ambassadorial work, Yow Yeh had hoped to continue travelling with the team this season.

Bennett bit the bullet, assuring him there was green grass on the other side.

“Wayne tried to separate me from that,” Yow Yeh recalls.

“I wasn’t sure, but as usual Wayne was right.

“It was actually good to remove myself from the footy side, to take myself out of my comfort zone and better myself.

“What I can now appreciate is how much NRL clubs do for players. It’s like being at school.

“We get told what to eat, what to wear, how to train, where we have to be ... the Broncos were like my parents.

“My life is totally different now. I’m doing normal office hours. I’m behind a desk, using a computer, answering to my bosses. I wouldn’t say NRL players have it easy, but it’s just an organised life and if you buy in to their culture, you will succeed.”

media_camera We will never know just how good the former Broncos centre could have become.

At first glance, it is hard to see a drastic change in Yow Yeh. He still wears a Broncos polo and Nike-sponsored footwear.

At 102kg and with a body filling out in the way Greg Inglis did, you can’t help but wonder the havoc Yow Yeh could wreak today on the football field.

But then he points down to thick black strapping around his right ankle. It is there everyday, like a rampart providing comfort for an injury that Yow Yeh regards more as a disability.

He has been told by doctors he will require one final operation to ease lingering pain. The trade-off isn’t music to Yow Yeh’s ears.

media_camera Yow Yeh did try to resurrect his career but he will never play footy again.

“I will probably need a walking stick,” he says, finding a silver lining when he adds: “I might end up looking like some sort of gangster wearing a suit with my walking stick.

“The ankle is getting a lot worse actually. I’ve been told that I will eventually need a fusion.

“The surgeon will put a rod up the bottom of my ankle and up into my leg and it fuses your ankle so it doesn’t move at all.

“I probably don’t like to class it this way, but I have a disability, that’s the truth of it. I can’t run anymore or lift heavy things because my ankle gets sore.

“My left leg is everything for me, that’s how my retirement came about. I hurt it in a comeback game and my life flashed before my eyes, thinking I could end up in a wheelchair.

“I was really scared by the end. I’m 25 years old. I have so much more ahead of me in life.”

media_camera Yow Yeh is now focusing on making a difference to the game of the field.

Like tackling indigenous welfare and youth suicide.

Yow Yeh has been alarmed by recent deaths in the rugby league world and urged the next generation of under-20s stars not to bottle their emotions.

“I’d be more than willing to help the NRL with programs on life skills,” he says. “I’ve been there, I know how hard it is for some young guys who may lack self-esteem to speak up and express their emotions.

“I really want to give indigenous kids a better life. Some people think indigenous people can’t succeed and they feel that too because they lack self-esteem.

“I want to change it. I want them to think they can do whatever they want.

“Hopefully one day, an indigenous kid will become a lawyer or doctor and say I helped them along the way ... that would make me happy.”