First impressions mean a lot – especially when you’re confronted by some strange dude with a bush on his face. Is he a teddy bear? A misunderstood philosopher? A fresh release from the Penitentiary? You can answer all of those questions – and more – with Matt McInerney’s soon-to-be-legendary Trustworthiness Of Beards!

For the record, I’m genetically limited to a Pencil Thin Mustache, aka The Joe Jackson, second only to Hitler in distrustfulness. Dag nabbit, momma was right!