It was the fourth day of the new year, the first day of the offseason, the first hours of 31. Eric Weddle began his birthday Monday at Chargers Park, cleaning out his locker. A once-cluttered wooden closest was now a cave, hollow save 28 clothes hangers — 22 blue, four white, two yellow — that hung like skeletons.

His nameplate was gone.

His jerseys were gone.

This had to be emotional, the idea was presented, to say goodbye like this, to clean out a locker he’s occupied for all nine of his NFL seasons.


“Not really,” he said. “I’m past all of that. Emotional was the Miami game. That was hard. Every time you look at your teammates, you start crying. But I’m way past that stuff now.”

Weddle will be under contract with the Chargers until March 9. It seems, though, he already is gone, numb to the possibility of re-signing. He is scheduled to become an unrestricted free agent and looks to seize upon that chance, thereby leaving somewhere he thought he never would.

This is a man who loved the Chargers.

He wanted to retire as one. Last spring, when skipping voluntary workouts amid frustration with the team’s disinterest in a contract extension, he was an assistant coach on his son’s flag-football team. Gaige played linebacker and running back. One of Philip Rivers’ sons, Gunner, was quarterback and safety. The team won the county Super Bowl in the 5-to-6 age division. Their team name? The Chargers. Weddle helped guide the Chargers to a Super Bowl.


This is a man who loved San Diego.

He still does. He and wife Chanel are having a home built here. Wherever he goes in free agency, wherever the Chargers go as they pursue relocation to Los Angeles, San Diego will be home to the Weddles each offseason.

“San Diego is the best city in the world,” Weddle said. “We’re not going to move.”

And yet, he seems resolved to start a new chapter.


He is focused on winning a Super Bowl — the real one. In free agency, it’s expected not to matter how much money, say, the Browns offer. He wants to go someplace where he’s convinced he can win right away. That he may play against the Chargers one day is possible, and it has crossed his mind.

Of course it has.

“I hope we kill them,” Weddle said with a smile. “That’s the only way I know how to (play). Whoever I’m with, I’m rolling with. … We’ll see. I’m sure (the matchup) will happen.”

From the 2015 season, Weddle will remember the Miami game most.


The Chargers hosted the Dolphins on Dec. 20, the final home game on the schedule. With all the uncertainty ahead, it was potentially the final Chargers game in San Diego, making it the final home game for Weddle and teammates as San Diego Chargers. Fans, players and coaches all treated it as such.

At halftime, Weddle watched his daughter Brooklyn dance on the field as a Junior Charger Girl. San Diego led 23-0 at the time. Still, one could argue it was wrong not to request permission — he planned to attend regardless of the response given — to watch from the sideline rather than enter the locker room with teammates and coaches.

When the game ended, he didn’t go to the locker room, either.

He stayed on the field for well over an hour, signing autographs, posing for photos. Finally, after every fan left, he collapsed on the white Chargers helmet painted at midfield.


He said goodbye.

“The last game was hard because I still thought there was hope to come back,” Weddle said. “But I don’t think that’s a possibility now.”

“He’s a guy I always thought, ‘He’s going to be here and we’re going to finish it together,’” Rivers said. “It’s tough. You never know what can happen, but all signs point to he’s probably played his last game as a Charger. And that’s hard.”

That Miami game was a Sunday.


Come Tuesday, Weddle learned he was fined $10,000 for skipping halftime without permission. It all quickly unraveled from there. He aggravated a groin injury on Thursday during a Christmas Eve game in Oakland. A few days later, on a Monday, he was placed on injured reserve against his wishes.

He missed Sunday’s season finale in Denver.

He said that he has no doubt he could’ve played. He did sprints as the Chargers practiced the Thursday before the game, a loud-and-clear statement in front of reporters that he opposed his placement on injured reserve and considered himself fit and able. Rivers called out from the practice field nearby in support: “I see you, three-two.”

Weddle didn’t travel to Denver.


He might’ve had he asked, he knows, but again, he felt he shouldn’t need to request permission.

This is who Weddle is.

There is a fire to him. For eight of nine seasons, the Chargers benefitted from the warmth. He has carried the prototypical chip on his shoulder about many aspects of his career -- about not being a Pro Bowler, about not being an All-Pro, about any lack of respect he felt was due. He feeds off the underdog tag and the chance to prove people wrong. In the ninth year, he still did, but this time, it was the Chargers, not the outside, whom he sensed did not believe in him.

This time, the fire burned.


Their relationship dissolved.

Now that it’s all over, his locker clean as the day he found it in 2007, he doesn’t expect to learn from Chargers brass how it all came to this point, why these final couple weeks went as they did, how this feeling has come over him that it’s over. He felt he’d be a teammate of Rivers until retirement. He felt he’d always be a Charger. He felt his locker, a nameless wooden box now, wouldn’t look like this, this soon.

The team declined comment Thursday.

“I probably won’t ever get an answer,” Weddle said, “because I probably won’t speak to them again.”