In a press briefing today, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos said that she is still against schools despite bipartisan criticism.

“I just don’t see the point,” said Ms. DeVos. “I never got a learnin’ and I turned out just fine.”

“She did not turn out just fine,” said Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts. “Even an underfunded public school in Camden, New Jersey can help our youth. Betsy is evidence of what happens when our children do not get a proper education.”

Across the aisle, Paul Ryan joined in the disagreement. “Instead of getting rid of schools we should privatize them. Anyone who is able to pay for schooling should have access to it.”

We reached out to Betsy DeVos’ office for comment but her secretary responded that she was unable to read our email.