This is to the Christians complaining about “Prayer Shaming.”

We should talk.

Here’s the thing: We atheists don’t believe in God…but we generally tend to assume you do. Yes, there are people who think you’re faking across the board, and we all have to admit there are some pretty damn obvious fakers among you, but we tend to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you when you claim to believe in God you’re telling the truth.

Now, because we atheists don’t believe in God we tend to think that your belief in God is…well we’ve argued about what to call it — whether we should call your belief deluded, insane, fantastical — what have you, but the basic diagnosis is that you’re wrong about reality and don’t know it. So…different atheists do different things about that perception. Some of us insist loudly that you’re wrong. Some of us insist that your beliefs are sensitive parts of your identity and should be handled with kid gloves. And then there are people in between.

One common analogy we atheists use to explain our disagreement consists of the kids who believe in Santa Claus (although many atheists are too polite to use that analogy, it seems pretty accurate based on what I’m hearing). Should we tell them, and attack the security and comfort they find in their rich imagination? Or should we be sensitive and compassionate, and allow them the peace of their illusions — in spite of the potential consequences of them believing something false about the world?

I’m an antitheist — and no, that doesn’t mean I hate theists. It means that I don’t think it’s healthy to sugarcoat the fact that I think you’re wrong about God’s existence; I think the fact that you’re wrong about God’s existence is too important. Sure, there are harmless beliefs out there; God is not one of them. Like — if you “believe” in the force, you’re harmless…unless you think it’s a virtue to have faith that it can drive your car. So…for me, the “Jesus take the wheel” approach to life seems to cross a line, which is part of why I’m trying to give you the straight-up truth as well as I can see it.

There are people — many of them atheists — who think that I’m ruining your lives by puncturing holes in your fairy tales (I probably just offended a bunch of them by calling what you believe “fairy tales”). But even if they don’t use the words “fairy tales” because it’s cruel in the way that telling a young child Santa doesn’t exist is cruel (OK, sure, for some of them it’s worse, but follow the train of thought), they think it’s a fairy tale, too. They just won’t call it that for fear of hurting your feelings.

Just about all of us think that what you believe is imagination and fairy tales. We just differ in how delicately we think people should handle that fact.

Now, as an antitheist I have to admit that in spite of my attempts to believe that you actually believe in God, that assumption can make things pretty darn confusing. Because, if I’m going to take you at your word, I have to think that you believe in a great, big God of the universe. This God is HUGE. MASSIVE. And extraordinarily good, and beautiful, and the rest, in absolute, imagination-defying terms.

Here’s the thing. If you really believe that…if you really, really believe that…then do you get so offended every time an atheist raises their hand and says that maybe that’s just not true? Think about it from my perspective. You’re claiming to believe in GOD…and yet when I, a puny human being, have the nerve to throw a bit of criticism God’s way, instead of wringing your hands anxiously about how big, bad God is going to throw me into eternal torment if I keep this up, or letting God take the heat, or explaining with evidence that prayer works, you do the equivalent of plopping down on your ass and crying like a little….yeah.

It’s not very convincing.

I mean, if you really believed this, why does it bother you so much? God’s wrath is going to torment me in the afterlife forever, supposedly. Isn’t that enough?

Unless…you’re not really sure.

Now, to be sure, your complaints will prompt several atheists to handle you with kid gloves. But you’re doing absolutely nothing to convince us that your God is real. On the contrary. You’re treating your God like He’s paper-thin glass. Like he’s delicate and can be shattered by a single human being uttering he doesn’t exist.

Honestly, now…why would you worship something that pathetic? I mean, some atheists may say to be nice to you, but it’s not because they respect you, so much as that they feel sorry for you.

You may not like this. But best as I can tell, from putting my metaphorical finger in the wind and getting a feel of the sentiment, that’s the impression. And people like me start thinking that if your illusions are so bloody flimsy, maybe we should keep pushing harder to expose the reality underneath, because it might just be possible. You believe in a weak God, from my perspective. A very weak God. Maybe if I push a bit harder, you’ll believe in no God and embrace a secular humanism.

You see, when you complain about us, um….”prayer shaming” you, you imply to us that we have the power to make you ashamed about praying to God, and indicate that this somehow deals a profound blow to Christendom. But if you really believe in God — honestly, why is that an issue?

I’m serious. I hate to sound like your Sunday Morning preacher here, but…do you believe any of this?

Even Paul was like, “I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes.”

And then the Jesus y’all claim to follow wholeheartedly said, “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

I mean…Paul and Jesus just exude a, “We got a badass God on our side” attitude. Prayer shaming? No, no shame there. Like…God’s on your side. Why on earth would you complain if you believed it? On the other hand, if it’s a delicate myth you gotta protect…that makes sense.

See what I mean? When you complain about this criticism you’re playing into our narrative. You’re not saying that it’s about a God that’s powerful; you’re saying that it’s about a myth that’s fragile.

You’re hinting that maybe, just maybe, the concentration on prayer is something you can be shamed for…perhaps something you know isn’t doing anything or is a way to simply circle the wagons of partisanship, more than something that is real.

Is that rude?

Maybe, maybe. You might have a point there.

But it’s also, best as I can tell it, the plain, simple truth. I can pretty much guarantee you that even the atheists who won’t say that are kinda thinking the same thing — and in reaction many are simply dismissing you as sensitive about a myth and looking instead towards responses that seem more productive because they have to do with what’s um…actually there.

I’m just the messenger.

Just so you know.

Thanks for reading.

[Photo courtesy of CJS*64 A man with a camera under CCL 3.0]