Islam teaches us to live with mutual love and affection and with humility. It teaches us no distinction between a Muslim or a non-Muslim. My message to everyone is that you must have ‘Love for all, Hatred for none!’ (Mirza Nasir Ahmad)

A few weeks ago, I shared an article with my extended family titled Why I Have Left Islam. After having gone through an honest, sincere, and critical study of Islam, I had decided that I no longer believed in its divinity and had thus decided to leave Islam.

Since then, I have heard from multiple family members about how they’ve felt reading my article and what they now think of me.

In this post, I will discuss my motivations for publicizing my departure from Islam, walk through some of the reception which I’ve received from my Muslim family, and eventually talk about the importance of normalizing dissent and why it matters so much that everyone is allowed a platform to share their ideas without the repercussion of being criticized and ostracized as an individual.

It is imperative to remember that ideas do not have rights; only people do.

Table of Contents

Purpose Of My Article

Now that my article has been read by all of my family, I cannot undo what I had published. However, I do want to clarify the intent of my writing, which I believe has been misconstrued by my family.

My article is not an attack on Islam.

In the very title, it states: “Why I Have Left Islam”.

Throughout the article, I write things such as:

For those of you who have not yet cast any judgment, are willing to keep an open mind, and are interested in learning why I have left Islam, I encourage you to read the rest of this article. If you’re not able or interested in keeping an open mind to consume such content, there is no reason for you to read this article and your time will be better spent elsewhere. But today, I know what it is like to not be Muslim and to have freedom of conscience. This is a perspective which the majority of you have probably not come across, and if you are willing to learn more, this article was written for you.

I did not publish this article to put Islam on a stand. This was a personal article which I wrote about my experiences for those who were interested in reading about my journey.

I publicized it for four primary reasons:

I want to lead an honest and open life with everyone I meet. Since I have no way of personally messaging every family member that I have left Islam, I decided to publicly announce such a decision so that all of my family knows that I no longer consider myself to be Muslim. I want to document the reasons for why I have left Islam so there needn’t be any lingering questions regarding my decision. It’s been clear to me how all of the reasons which I’ve listed have been conveniently ignored (since they all concern the fallibility of Islam) and the general rhetoric is instead focused on “where I went wrong” as an individual. I want to help family members who are in a similar position as I was. I know how difficult it is to live as someone with beliefs that contradict the majority, and I want to give a voice to all of those who feel hopeless in such situations so that they know that they are not alone and that we can, and will, make it out. I want to set the precedent for normalizing dissent: it is so important that societies recognize the power of diversified thought and celebrate it instead of being firm in a single perspective.

A very common theme in my family’s comments was that I was insulting in my writing.

To that, I say: I respect you as an individual, and I respect your right to your beliefs, but that does not mean that I have to abide by your beliefs. Likewise, you are free to disagree with my beliefs but that shouldn’t give you the right to disrespect me as an individual.

It is not insulting to say things such as “Muhammad was not a prophet” or “The Quran was written by a 7th century Arabian trader” – it is important that you are able to distinguish your individual “truth” (e.g. Muhammad is a prophet) from objective truth (e.g. the Earth rotates around the sun).

It is also important to remember that Islam is just a set of ideas: everything from Allah to Muhammad to the Quran are just ideas. They are ideas which you can believe to be true, and that would be your right. This does not mean, however, that everyone has to agree with such a construct.

For example, none of you have ever met Muhammad: he is simply a historical figure who’s been associated to divinity through stories passed down by old men over the ages. You are free to believe that he is the most perfect individual to have ever existed but you should be willing to accept that there are people who think otherwise: seeing as there’s no unanimous evidence indicating his prophethood, you should acknowledge your confirmation bias when selectively picking perceived evidence to further this narrative.

You cannot feel empowered in holding and sharing your beliefs while shunning any ideas opposing your worldview, especially not in cases such as religion where you have never opened your beliefs to scrutiny and doubt.

With regards to the family members who took such comments in my article personally, I cannot be held responsible for how you felt reading my article: if you felt hurt, offended, insulted, you should be aware that you consciously agreed to such feelings when you read through the article in which I stated multiple times that you should have only continued reading if you were able to keep an open mind. Remember: you choose to be offended.

To put it in terms which are familiar to you, Muslims feel at liberty to constantly talk about how Jesus was only human or how the Bible has been manipulated over time: do Muslims ever stop to consider how a devout Christian who deifies Jesus and considers the Bible the ultimate word of god would feel upon hearing such a narrative? How about when Muslims talk about how there logically can only be one god when there are billions of people who believe in multiple gods?

You cannot have it both ways: if you believe that what I have done is wrong, then you have to acknowledge that what Muslims do is wrong too, when they put other faiths’ beliefs on stand and critique them to no end.

Becoming A Mere Acquaintance

In this section are some of the comments I have received after publishing my article:

I have debated as to whether I should answer him and refute his many inaccuracies but remembered that he did not want to debate. The only good thing about his article is that it is extremely well written. However, ironically, he sounds like someone who has recently been indoctrinated. Oh the irony! The article is self-indulgent and arrogant. I pray for him every day. I am sorry to say that, despite our blood relations, he is a mere acquaintance now. He has insulted my God, the Prophet of Islam SAW and the Imaam Mahdi. May Allah Almighty Have Mercy on him. He will need it. He need not be answerable to anyone, unless his actions can harm others. In this case, his actions can effectively harm others. Plus he chose to go public, so he should be accountable and open to debate. I don’t understand why he would write a blog on this topic and then refuse to discuss. He is free to live as he wishes, but I hope he does engage in a proper debate. You wrote about people who we respect. That’s not ideas. But one thing you have to accept is for every action you do, there are consequences. No one would have made a bit of a fuss if you simply stated you wanted to leave Islam. You have decided to forsake Islam and become an agnostic, a decision which you will regret, about that there is no doubt whatsoever. [Your decision] leaves the entire family in grief, torment, anxiety and shame that our beloved son has left Islam. We firmly believe that Islam is our religion, and comes first in our life, and family comes second. Unfortunately you are no longer part of our spiritual and religious family.

Instead of responding to these comments, I want to instead highlight some of the double-standards employed.

An official Ahmadi book titled Short Stories by American Converts to Islam discusses how 40 men left their previous religions (or lack of religion) to join Islam (more specifically, the Ahmadiyyat sect).

The author states in the preface:

Majlis Khuddamul Ahmadiyya USA presents 40 stories, 40 lives, of young men born into diverse faiths and belonging to different racial and cultural backgrounds –all sharing one common trait: they were blessed with the courage to follow their inner voice. These brothers challenged the status quo and did not allow dogma to cloud their vision. They prove to us that human beings can change. During that process, some lost their families while others lost much more.

These new Muslims are being congratulated for “challenging the status quo” and “not allowing dogma to cloud their vision” – it’s interesting that when an ex-Muslim does exactly that, this behaviour is suddenly no longer appreciated.

Does this indicate fairness on part of Muslims or are we simply seeing cases of confirmation bias?

However, I digress – let us look at some excerpts from these stories:

Do not just accept what was passed down to you from your parents. Find out why you believe what you say you believe. If you call yourself a Christian, that’s fine, but what do you stand on that makes you feel confident in your faith? Do you know what the Bible says? Many people just accept it without truly knowing. If you care about your spirituality, find out why you believe what you believe and where it comes from. (pg. 101) I hope our Christian brethren will begin to reexamine their beliefs. Nowhere in the Bible is it reported that any of God’s prophets worshiped in the same manner that Christians worship today. One wonders, where did Christians get their forms of worship from? They got it from a human being (Paul, the Apostle). Christians need to realize that they cannot worship God on their own terms, but rather must worship on God’s terms. I believe it is illogical for one to think that by merely believing that “Jesus Christ died for our sins” one will be granted salvation. (pg. 149)

As should be obvious to all of you, these new Muslim converts are employing similar rhetoric as I was, while the Ahmadiyyat organization is providing them with a platform to speak of such experiences.

It makes you wonder why it is acceptable for those who’ve converted to Islam to question their previous beliefs and broadcast their doubts, but when I disagree with my inherited beliefs, I’m immediately ostracized by my family; I’m told that I’m causing harm; I’m told that I should be ready to face consequences for my actions; I’m told that I’m nothing more than a mere acquaintance.

Is this what Love for All, Hatred for None truly looks like? Platitudes for the sake of marketing and branding? If this is love, it’s rather empty.

In one of my Reddit posts, I discuss the hypocrisy of criticism that’s present in the Islamic world.

Mirza Bashir-ud-din Mahmud Ahmad is considered the second caliph of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community, making him a representative of god in the eyes of the members of this Community. However, let us observe the fashion in which this caliph talks about Christianity in his book Introduction To The Study Of The Holy Quran:

Not only are there contradictions; we also find that occasionally the most savage teaching is attributed to the Bible (pg. 28) The Old Testament contains many irrational statements. (1) In Leviticus 11:6 we read: And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you. Similarly, in Numbers 22:28 it is said that Balaam’s ass talked to him (pg. 29) This seems like magic. Such an account is worthy of stories told to children

about ghosts and fairies. They have no place in a Book of God. (pg. 32) If the New Testament were a book like Kipling’s Jungle Book, it would have been a different matter altogether. But the New Testament is a book for the religious guidance of man. What use can such a book have for fairy tales of this kind? (pg. 44) Christian apologists today tend to explain away this passage. They suggest that the curse applies not to the fig tree but to the Jewish nation and only means that Jews hereafter will not be able to bring forth any fruit. The explanation is lame. Those who are conversant with ordinary literary forms cannot be impressed by such explanations. (pg. 47)

In his book, Mirza Bashir-ud-din Ahmad criticizes the Bible on grounds of a literal interpretation of its verses. I think we can all agree that this is in fact a valid way of critiquing ideas (in this case, scripture).

Admittedly, the caliph uses language far harsher than I would think appropriate (comparing verses in the Bible to fairy tales, for example), but he has the right to discuss such ideas in ways which he thinks are logical and most effective.

However, recall the way that my family reacted when I wrote about my concerns with Islam in a very similar fashion as their own caliph wrote about Christianity. My critique of the Quran and Muhammad was somehow out of bounds, beyond ideas.

At this point, such family members of mine are faced with two options:

They either accept that since their world leader can criticize other religions, I have the same right to apply such a framework in my analysis of Islam, OR They accept that their world leader can criticize other religions (since they have no other choice, given they associate him with divinity), but they condemn me for my article, effectively engaging in hypocrisy since they are providing different rights to different people based on whether the content aligns with their worldview.

My Family’s Response

“There is nothing but disadvantages for him to have created such a blog and shared it with his family, namely distancing himself, and causing so much hurt, yet he felt he had to do so. I think we should ask ourselves why.”

While the previous section contained some individual comments which I had received from family members, the following section is focused on a letter which my family wrote collaboratively as a response to my article.

You can read the letter here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M5Pi8XcSkYmnQPuB1DBNsR6McW3HKqwCPWFvLmYWVCM/

There are 7 questions in the letter which my family states that they have trouble reconciling with the person they’ve known all of these years. I will answer each of these questions in turn.

1. You categorically state that you have researched Islam and Ahmadiyyat, and it has taken you from a journey of Indoctrination to Authenticity. Do you honestly believe that you have discovered the truth and being an agnostic is the perfect way of life?

Yes, I honestly believe that I have discovered the truth concerning Islam: I outright reject the notion that there is any divinity in Islam.

That doesn’t mean that being an agnostic is the perfect way of life, nor did I state that anywhere: this is simply a decision that I have chosen which is completely orthogonal to my firm belief that Islam contains no divinity. It’s important to realize that agnosticism is not a destination in and of itself; it’s not a prescriptive world view for how to live. Rather, it is an honest acknowledgement that we do not have evidence for how existence came to be, and that we do not have all the answers.

However, I will entertain such leading and presumptuous questions for the sake of showing others how the reactionary narrative to my apostasy has to pivot towards me as an individual with projected misconceptions as opposed to discussing the content of my ideas.

2. Your research is neither extensive, nor exhaustive as will be evident by our response to your 150 questions. As a highly intellectual individual, do you honestly believe that your research was concluded scientifically, from an academic point of view and free of any bias?

I began my research with bias – I wanted Islam to be true.

I soon realized that this was an ineffective way of conducting a thorough study, since believing forces you to normalize any ideas which might contradict your personal intuition, values, and rationale. In the case of a believer who does not entertain the idea that their inherited beliefs could be wrong, they are unable to do a sincere and critical study of their religion since they cannot allow themselves to think wrong of a supposedly divine institution.

It’s at this point that I decided to study Islam from a clean slate, one in which I did not assume Islam to be from god.

As with all scientific studies, you should be well aware that there are no assumptions in science: I firmly believe that most people wouldn’t believe the Quran to be from god had they not been indoctrinated from a young age to believe such an idea.

Once I began reading the Quran through a critical lens, it quickly became apparent to me how there was no divinity involved, as I discuss in one of my previous articles.

A litmus test for the allegedly unanimous divinity concerning Islam is whether you can give any of your non-Muslim friends a Quran and see whether they can be convinced it’s from god. It should be obvious to you that the truth which you purport as universal is nothing more than an individual belief without any grounding to justify worldwide acceptance.

3. When you initially started doubting Islam, why did you not consider performing Istigharah Prayers and seek Almighty Allah to guide you or write to Huzur and seek his guidance?

I prayed a lot during those weeks of questioning.

Either Allah decided not to answer my prayers or he doesn’t exist.

4. Why did you not engage any of your mother’s family, i.e. cousins or uncles to clarify or answer questions which you were having difficulty getting satisfactory answers?

This is probably my favourite question, since it highlights how deep the misogyny runs in Islam: note how the question says “any of your mother’s family, i.e. cousins or uncles“.

My aunt (mother’s sister) is more knowledgeable about Islam than the majority of you could hope to be, yet she was conveniently left out from the people whom I could have talked to about my concerns and findings.

To answer your question, there is no opportunity to critically and honestly discuss ideas with Muslims: it’s impossible to hold beliefs that contradict what the Quran/Hadith/Khalifas say.

For example, I always disagreed with gender segregation and no amount of reasoning could justify that to me: however, it would be me who’s wrong, not the Community.

When you hold a belief so strongly that you are unable to entertain and accept alternate perspectives, it is hard for someone else to see the point in having a dialogue with you (and as has been evidenced by your responses, there would not have been productive discussions, since any of the issues which I would have raised concerning Islam would conveniently have been dismissed under the excuse that I “just don’t get it”).

The other reason is because there aren’t any answers which I’d consider satisfactory to a number of my questions, since the very fact that I’m asking such questions to begin with is wrong: there is no answer which will revert all the elementary mistakes about Egyptology in the Quran, there is no answer which will justify why the Quran never directly addresses women, there is no answer which will explain why angels cannot be female, there is no answer which will make the omission of rape as a crime acceptable. This list goes on and on.

5. Why do you not want to engage in debate, but rather request that we leave a comment on your blog, if you are so convinced of the truth and committed to having ‘discovered’ true authenticity in your conviction?

There seems to have been a misunderstanding: I never requested a comment from any of you.

I apologize if you felt that you had to respond to my article: this must have been lost in translation, since I simply asked my parents to share the article with my family.

Regarding your question, it is because there is no room for debate with religious people.

The purpose of debate is for two parties to engage with the ideas, where both parties are open to revising their positions. For example, we can debate about whether universal healthcare or privatized healthcare leads to greater societal utility. The framework of debate is effective here, since both parties can initially vouch for their well-informed opinions, while being open to additional evidence stating otherwise: their opinions are not so much infallible truths which cannot be questioned as much as ideas which are susceptible to change.

However, Islam is seen as absolute truth by Muslims, with no room for doubt or fallibility. For example, a Muslim will never entertain the belief that the Quran contains any errors, since Islam categorically rejects such a notion.

Therefore, there is no point in debating Muslims: you will refuse to accept any evidence which contradicts your preconceptions (as seen by your response), which is exactly why I was not interested in debate. It’s a futile exercise without providing any benefit to either party (you will not cede to any of my claims concerning the fallibility of Islam, and I will not accept apologetic arguments trying to justify issues such as wife-beating in the Quran).

Let it be clear: I said that I did not want to debate. That does not mean that I am censoring discussion over my article/questions – on the other hand, I strongly encourage all of you to crowdsource answers to my articles, publish them online, and give people an opportunity to assess my arguments against yours. This would enable others to make an informed decision about Islam and their beliefs.

The intended audience of my original article was not staunch Muslims who would get up in arms at the first mention of Muhammad not being a prophet. Rather, it was written for those who are open-minded enough to entertain alternate points of view, as well as for those who are going through a similar journey and wanted additional resources to explore their faith.

6. What is the motivation to write a comprehensive blog to denounce Islam, insult our Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) and deny the Holy Qur’an as the word of Almighty Allah, when all that was required was for you to do so in silence and no questions would have been raised?

This is an extremely frustrating question.

Do not ever think that any of you are in a position to tell me what is required of me.

I am not responsible to anyone but myself: I make my own choices.

I’ve explained several times why I wrote my article (and in broader terms, why I have started this blog in the first place) but I will repeat these reasons here:

“For those of you who are interested in learning why I have left Islam, I encourage you to read the rest of this article” from the article itself.

“I know what it is like to not be Muslim and to have freedom of conscience. This is a perspective which the majority of you have probably not come across, and if you are willing to learn more, this article has been written for you.” also from the article itself.

“The article’s purpose is twofold: on one hand, it is to educate practicing Muslims as to why leaving the religion is a completely valid and logical decision to make, but it is also to empower and enable ex-Muslims to have a boilerplate to frame their conversations with their families and friends.” from Reddit

“The goal of this website is to empower and enable Ahmadis and other Muslims to critically assess their beliefs: whether they come out of it stronger in faith or with more doubts, my only wish is for people to be authentic in their lives and in their beliefs.” from my About page.

“If you are a Muslim who has had at least one question about your faith at any point in your life, I want you to know that you are not alone. I want you to learn to trust yourself. I want you to ask questions regarding your beliefs. I want you to critically determine whether your personal views and values align with those of your faith. Most of all, I want you to know that I, along with many others, are here to help you navigate these questions and doubts which you may have. You are not alone.” from my Welcome page.

If you feel righteous and justified in your preaching of Islam, I hope you can appreciate that I have the equal right to discuss my concerns with Islam for the purpose of educating those interested in learning more.

You won’t see me protesting against Imams, telling them “what is required of them” when delivering their Friday sermons – it’s only fair that you show me the same respect, and acknowledge that I am free to discuss ideas which I choose to.

7. Are you seeking gratification, fame or praise for what you have done, by creating a blog and posting content on Social Media?

There is no gratification, fame or praise to be received from this endeavour. Once again, this question is laced with an insulting degree of projection.

Not only is this website anonymous (only my family knows my identity) but as has been made obvious, this article has caused a lot of the people whom I once respected to turn against me.

These are the same people who were singing my praises just a few months ago for all of my academic and professional achievements.

If I was thinking of only myself, then the last thing I would do would be to publish such content. I have purposefully harmed myself in doing so, and I have gained absolutely no personal benefit in return.

However, I know that I have done the right thing, and I will forever own this decision of mine borne out of conviction, honesty, and duty to my fellow human beings.

The reaction to my article is exactly why it is so important that I stand up with an even louder voice: this family, other Ahmadis, and other Muslims need to recognize that people can and should be able to hold alternate perspectives, regardless of whether those views happen to oppose much of what you hold sacred.

It is important that we recognize and distinguish personal beliefs from objective reality: with the former, there should be room for every individual to feel empowered in holding and sharing their personal truths.

Please remember that Islam is not an objective truth – it is simply a set of ideas which you are choosing to believe as truth.



There Is Hope

When I published my article, my only measure for whether it achieved its purpose was if I had just one person tell me that my writing has helped them.

However, I was taken back by the amount of support which I received after publishing my article, which I share below to show others that we are not alone in this, and that bit by bit, we will move towards a society which is accepting of all people, regardless of their beliefs.

I also want to pay ode to all of these people: it is comments like theirs which have kept my head above ground, and validate the effort which I am putting into enabling and empowering Muslims to critically assess their beliefs.

I have to say, I am proud of the man you have become today. Someone so well researched and eloquent. Thank you for taking your time to write and educate others. I hope more people will see the Ahmadiyya community for what it really is. Best wishes for all your future endeavours. I agree with you entirely, and I think you’re incredibly brave for standing up to the indoctrination found in this family and in this Ja’maat. It’s kind of ridiculous that this family has just all accepted everything as fact without ever thinking critically. Above all I just wanted to say how thankful I am that you decided to share your story. I hope that our family reads it and above all, understands it and doesn’t begrudge you for leaving, and I hope rather that they wish you all the best. I also wanted to thank you in particular for addressing the misogyny prevalent in this religion. It’s honestly sickening to me at times, and the anecdote you told about your aunt undermining her own gender hit me personally because I’ve seen it so often. I guess I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone, and I’m glad to know I’m not alone either. I wish you nothing but the best for the future I just wanted to say that even though I am sad, my family and my relationship with you does not change. I can imagine it has not been easy for you. I just want to say that I am always there, you are always welcome in our home, and I only wish you the best in all your endeavours. You will always be my brother and I will always want the best for you. So irrespective of your decisions, I will want you to be a part of my life. And most importantly to be happy. While I’m naturally very pained at hearing of this news, I applaud your personal investigation. You know, we both are lovers of humanity, and as such, we both want what is best for it. The good thing is that both my belief and your belief is that mankind must work together and serve each other toward mutual betterment. I wish you the best of luck with your endeavours in [redacted city]! I can’t wait to see the amazing things you will achieve in the future. They said that if I have any questions on Islam, I should come speak to one of the leaders on Fridays or watch YouTube videos of Yasir Qadhi. I realized they’re doing this, because they are trying to shield people from reading/viewing articles and resources like yours. And in doing so, preventing anyone from reading material which would cause them to think critically and logically about what they believe. Once again, as you pointed out, trying to treat the symptoms again. As I said, I found your article interesting and I can’t explain how weird it is to see how my friend has reacted to some of my questions in the past exactly as you described. I hope all the best for you and that your relationship with your family will continue. I’ve read Nabeel Qureshi’s books and from that I learnt (which I never knew) just how big of a deal leaving your Islamic faith is. And I hope your family can accept you for who you are, because I agree with what you said, you are still the same person and it doesn’t make sense that people would judge you, just because you choose to believe differently. All the best! I am proud of you for making this difficult decision and living your life the way that seems right to you. It was really brave of you to publish and share your thoughts, knowing the backlash you probably did and will face. In the end, what matters above all is doing what feels right for you. It is such a waste of love, and everything good that comes with it, to reject somebody for their beliefs. What an inspiration reading this was. Congratulations on your new life, as well as having it in you to actually, officially leave the community. Your confidence in the aftermath speaks volumes, as if you’ve known for an incredibly long time that this was what you needed to do all along. I wish you the best. I’m sorry you’re going through all this, I can’t imagine how tough it would be. But it’s such a brave thing you’ve done and you’ve come out of it so much stronger. What a journey you’ve been on. Hopefully children everywhere will one day be able to explore all ideas free from control with the only guidance being “minimize harm, expand love”. I took the time to read the open letter. VERY interesting. I’ve been following ex-Muslims on twitter, and I find them so brave, because they can be rejected by their family/friends or even in some countries be killed. Their voice has to be heard. I’m contacting you following your article concerning your religious views. I know it must not have been easy for you. So I’d like to bring you all my support and congratulate you for your initiative. I think there are some benefits in all religions (including Islam) so I’m focusing only on those parts. I don’t need to belong to a religion to be a spiritual person. Again, well done and congratulations for your very interesting article. I’m sure it will be very helpful for many people. Many will indeed judge you, criticize you, threaten you and probably boycott you instead of respecting your choice as they should do. Because yes, we have the right to have a freedom of thought. A religious belief should be personal and sincere. Nobody has the right to force us to believe in something. Thank you for what you’ve done. It’s really very courageous and as I said, will help others who are in the same situation. Wish you the best of luck. Be strong. What you’ve done is right. We must stay master of our lives and thoughts.

And from my father:

I have absolutely no doubt about your personality and principles. For sure, I have never questioned your sincerity in anything you do. We all have been proud of your achievements. [Redacted name], who has a PhD in math, told me then that you would succeed very well in your studies, and [redacted name] who is regarded as an intellectual thought likewise. So your capacities combined with your values would be useful to humanity at large. We hope to see these fulfilled.

Why Dissent Matters

It is more important now than ever to challenge and criticize the doctrine of Islam. And it is more important now than ever to protect and defend the rights of Muslims. This approach isn’t contradictory. It’s a manifestation of the famous words of Evelyn Beatrice Hall: I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it (Ali Rizvi).

A few months ago, I was considered one of the “golden boys” of the family: I graduated top of my class from a world-ranked university, I had a six figure job lined up, I was surrounded by inspiring and successful friends etc.

A lot of my family respected me and saw me in a very positive light.

In just a moment, all of this fell apart. Once I declared my apostasy and explained the reasons for my disbelief, I was met with criticism and disdain.

There is no such thing as unconditional love in Islam.

Your family is your family, they love and care about you but the second you deviate from the religion that love is gone. You are no longer kin to them, you are a stranger to them. – Jamal pic.twitter.com/7c9PmsihM1 — Ex-Muslims of North America (@ExmuslimsOrg) October 5, 2018

I was admittedly overly optimistic about the reception which I had expected: I thought that while the majority of my family would disagree with my beliefs, they would accept my right to hold and share those beliefs nonetheless.

However, it turns out that we’re not yet at a place where someone can be outspoken about their disbelief: after writing the article and hearing back from my family members, it was quite shocking to discover the extent to which I have been shunned from them.

This is a very heavy social price which I am paying. I don’t think I’d ever be welcomed in the countries I grew up in, or by the people I grew up with.

It’s important to realize that I did not make this decision out of self-righteousness, or arrogance: as I explained previously, I have nothing to gain from doing so.

The reason I have been outspoken about my disbelief is because I want to be part of a movement which builds a world where no one else has to go through what I went through.

I want to live in a world where people are accepted for who they are, and celebrated for the individuals they choose to be.

I want to live in a world which accepts dissent and celebrates diversity of thought.

I want to be part of a community which is open, accepting, humble. A community which understands that not everyone sees the world the way they do. A community which does not criticize or ostracize individuals who don’t conform to their views, but rather, critically engages in discussions around ideas. A community which doesn’t indoctrinate children with their world view, but rather teaches them general knowledge and the ability to think critically so that they can make an informed decision when they are of age to understand and process information logically, and arrive at their own beliefs.

If Islam were truth, it wouldn’t hinge on childhood indoctrination to persist; it would simply experience organic growth as people worldwide accept its divinity.

For a lot of people, religion is a necessity in their lives; it brings them comfort, a sense of community, peace, purpose etc.

However, it’s important to realize that religion is not a one-size-fits-all solution: there are countless people who were simply raised in such a belief system, and were never given the opportunity to think critically about their beliefs — i.e. from an unbiased vantage point. For such people, religion is far from a liberation, behaving more as a mental prison. And when such people try to leave their religion and educate others about why they have chosen to no longer believe, they are met with repercussions similar to what I was subjected to.

It’s no surprise why most ex-Muslims haven’t formally left Islam yet: they risk losing too much for simply wanting the right to believe in what they want to believe.

This is why it matters so much that we normalize dissent: we need to live in a world where someone can say “I don’t believe” and absolutely nothing changes in their lives, or in the ways which people see them.

Even in cases such as mine, where I am being explicitly vocal about my disbelief, I should still not be subjected to any criticism as an individual: by all means, go after my ideas. Feel free to take apart my article around why the Quran is not from god, or why Muhammad has problematic Hadiths. You can explain why you think I’m wrong, or why my understanding of Islam is poor and misinterpreted.

Once again, ideas do not have rights. Only people do. There is no need to tell someone that they’ve made a mistake by leaving Islam, or that they will regret this decision, or that they are no longer part of the family.

To be sure, Greenwald-style apologists were present during Europe’s Enlightenment as well, perhaps upset at men like Voltaire for not being “respectful” in their criticisms of religion, suggesting that Christendom might have something to do with Christianity, or inflaming the sentiments of the peaceful majority of citizens whose beliefs were being challenged. The names of these apologists aren’t so quick to appear in our memories, though—and for good reason: they were on the wrong side of history (Ali Rizvi).

Today I have paid the price of leaving my religion: I have lost a lot of connections, and will probably be cast in a negative light by most of my family for the rest of my life.

However, I have gained freedom of conscience. I have also built so many new friendships through this journey. I am excited at the prospect of continuing to share my story so that I can highlight the importance of normalizing dissent and enabling others to freely choose their beliefs.

And I will be doing all of this so that tomorrow, my younger siblings, my nephews, my nieces, and my own children of the future will feel empowered to critically engage with their inherited faith and be able to freely follow their conscience without risking social exclusion from their families and friends.