Alternative title: ‘You like The Avengers? Name the blood type of every Avenger, even the aliens’

I've faked a lot of shit in the name of seeming more attractive to men: veganism, knowledge of sports, orgasms (of course) and interest in what might otherwise be referred to as "nerd stuff" which could be described as any book/movie that takes place on a planet other than Earth.

Society right now is undergoing something of a nerd renaissance — models are dating major tech company founders over athletes, Marvel's planned something like 352,000 movies for the next 45 years of our lives and Game of Thrones is the most popular show on TV.

And, as a result, women are now held to an all new measuring stick: do you give a shit? Because as we all know, anything celebrated by men in general (i.e. sports, comics, things deep-fried in beer) are interesting and if women hate them, they are vapid.

By now, we've all seen the iconic Gone Girl monologue tearing apart the concept of the elusive "Cool Girl" myth, and it's never more evident than when it surfaces in nerd culture. If a woman hates Captain America or whatever, then she's a moron. If she likes Captain America (or whatever) she must clearly be lying about it to try and seem cool. Y'know, like a fake gamer girl, or that phase in which I pretended to know how to skateboard when in actuality, I was just watching Viva la Bam DVDs. Maybe I've ruined things for us by being a lying snake, but I swear on my aforementioned Viva la Bam DVDs that I'm in a small but vocal minority.

Of course, all of this only matters if you're hot — life only matters if you're hot, right? Because enter parts two and three of my favorite Tumblr exchange ever:

I'm the most tender-hearted person I know and even I want to cyberbully the shit out of that guy after reading that response. And here, the kicker, by an actual real female nerd:

There's just no winning, and there never has been.

"I just want a girl who watches sports" has ceded to "I just want a girl who will sit here and listen to me mansplain Star Wars even though it's literally a billion-dollar big studio franchise engineered to appeal to literally everyone."

If you need me, I'll be here liking neither and not pretending to.