524 views

Bernie Sanders hears some bad news from his staff on March 3rd

00:00 - 00:03 Biden's margins are much larger than expected in the South

00:04 - 00:05 We're winning Vermont and Utah, but their delegate count

00:05 - 00:07 is fairly small.

00:08 - 00:12 Biden is winning Texas but the delegates will be split fairly evenly.

00:12 - 00:15 But his surprise wins in Massachusetts and Minnesota have given him a huge lead.

00:17 - 00:19 We'll catch up once California is called

00:19 - 00:21 with nobody else viable we will get all the delegates.

00:24 - 00:26 Senator...

00:27 - 00:28 California...

00:31 - 00:33 Biden has over 20% of the vote and Bloomberg will be viable as well.

00:34 - 00:36 We've won the state, but the delegate gain is small.

00:53 - 00:58 If you didn't vote for Stein, Harambe, or Trump in 2016, get out.

01:13 - 01:15 I was the fucking frontrunner!

01:15 - 01:17 The first person to win* three states in a row!

01:18 - 01:23 The Democratic and Republican establishments can't stop me!

01:25 - 01:28 Ratboy Pete and Stapler Amy

01:29 - 01:31 they colluded with the DNC to drop out!

01:31 - 01:34 And don't get me started on those low information voters in South Carolina!

01:34 - 01:37 I marched with MLK for god's sake

01:37 - 01:40 and that traitor Clyburn still endorses Biden!

01:40 - 01:42 Senator it's a little bit racist to assume black voters are all-

01:42 - 01:46 I MARCHED WITH MLK!!!!

01:46 - 01:48 Senator that was a long time ago.

01:48 - 01:52 I didn't hire Brie Brie and Nina to lose the god damn black vote.

01:53 - 01:54 And Elizabeth Warren!

01:56 - 01:57 She should have dropped out weeks ago

01:57 - 02:00 Bent the knee and endorsed me

02:00 - 02:03 She knows a woman can't be President like I told her.

02:04 - 02:08 A man goes home and masturbates to his typical fantasy. A woman on her knees, a woman tied up, a woman abused.

02:08 - 02:13 A woman enjoys intercourse with her man while she fantasizes about being raped by three men simultaneously!

02:14 - 02:16 The man and woman get dressed up on Sunday and go to church or maybe to their "revolutionary" political meeting.

02:17 - 02:21 By the way, you know who had great economic policies? Stalin!

02:27 - 02:29 The heart attack wasn't even serious.

02:30 - 02:34 My heart got stronger when they put in the stents!

02:34 - 02:36 I'll definitely survive until the election.

02:41 - 02:42 And Barack Obama

02:43 - 02:47 Does he really think he can pull shit behind the scenes like this?

02:48 - 02:53 I should have primaried his corporate ass in 2012.

02:54 - 02:56 I could have replaced Obamacare with M4A before it even took effect.

02:56 - 02:59 With any luck the Supreme Court will still overturn it.

03:00 - 03:02 If so they'll have to elect me to pass single payer!

03:04 - 03:07 It's ok, Biden will add a public option and appoint judges that uphold the ACA.

03:14 - 03:16 Maybe Warren will still drop out.

03:19 - 03:23 She's already upset by the snake memes and sexist slurs.

03:25 - 03:26 I'll have Sirota tell the bros to bully her until she has to drop out.

03:31 - 03:33 then I can win a plurality.

03:40 - 03:46 They have to give me the nomination if I get a plurality.

03:46 - 03:49 Even if it's not in the rules I wrote.