To whom it may concern:

I began experimenting with deep sleep consciousness at a very young age. I began with lucid dreaming. The freedom you have when in such state is overwhelming, exhilarating. The mind can go to any place or any time, it can create anything and anyone. It has control of everything. You can fly, walk through walls, teleport, swim in the air. I felt free as I never did when awake.

I became obsessed.

What’s the next level? I asked myself. How deep does this go?

After years of mastering lucid dreaming and virtually living another life in my sleep I began to realize there were some common things always present. Things the mind couldn’t control. A strange light, a moving object, cameras. Perceptions of the mind of things beyond our wildest nightmares.

I was curious. I didn’t know what I was getting into. I felt the need to investigate, to know. And so I did. Each night I would enter my other life and look for the foreign things in my mind. The one most accessible to me was a light. A light that was always shining somewhere in my surroundings even if I desired total darkness. So I created a cave. A cave deep beneath the crust of my dreams and I entered it. A small light glowed in the distance beyond a curve in the black passageways. I ran to it, I cornered it, I reached it.

At first it seemed like a tiny light bulb sitting above a rock in my caverns. But as I looked closer I realized what it was. A peephole. My heart hammered in my chest as I looked into it. And there, I saw it. The other dimension. The other reality. Hell.

I saw myself screaming. Laying on a bed of wires, punctured by a thousand different needles and tubes. Surrounded by horrid beings. Tall, grey, no mouths, no eyes, blood splattered. A jumble of limbs thrashing around my bleeding body. The sound of machinery overpowered my screaming and the screeching alien words the beings were muttering.

But the worst was still to come. As I watched myself through the peephole I realized I was waking up. I was losing control of my dream. But I didn’t wake up to my ordinary life. No. I woke up to excruciating pain, to a smell of dead putrefied flesh combined with iron dust, to the sound of drills and alien mutterings.

And there was nothing I could do.

Time did not go by faster, or slower. Five hours I remained, screaming, unable to move, unable to fight back, wishing my death would come. And then I opened my eyes to my by bedroom.

After that everything changed. Every time I went to sleep, every time I took a nap, every time I nodded off; I found myself in that place, with those beings handling my guts, poking at my eyeballs, drilling through my bones. I couldn’t stand it anymore, I don’t care about anything anymore. I cannot stand to live this hell any longer.

It’s been six days since I last slept, or closed my eyes, but I cannot do it forever. So, please. To anyone who reads this. Don’t delve too deep into your mind, you will not like what we really are. Or where we really are…

Goodbye