As chief bridesmaid at her best friend’s wedding, Claire Duke knew a certain amount of responsibility and planning would fall to her.

What she didn’t imagine was that it would cost her so much money to attend the lavish ceremony that her debt would last longer than her friend’s marriage.

Claire’s friend, Siobhan, chose a Caribbean beach setting for her big day four years ago. Claire, 33, a chef from the Isle of Man, says: ‘They wanted us to be there no matter what.’

Brides are organising such lavish weddings that their guests are ending up broke

Claire and her then fiance (now husband) Stephen decided their best option was to turn it into a two-week holiday. They ended up spending £5,000 on flights and accommodation in Jamaica, as well as a further £310 on travelling from the Isle of Man to a London airport.

‘Neither of us had enough savings or high enough salaries to fund the trip, so we had to borrow the money from my dad,’ she says.

‘Not only that, we also had to ask my parents to look after our two children, as there was no way we could afford to go as a family.’

Sadly, despite the exotic location, the free-flowing champagne and the no-expense-spared reception, the marriage was not to last. Eighteen months later, Siobhan told Claire that she had filed for divorce.

‘Meanwhile, we were still paying my dad back in instalments,’ says Claire, who is still smarting at the thought of the money she spent attending what turned out to be a flash-in-the-pan marriage.

And when it comes to guests being left hugely out of pocket thanks to brides wanting ever grander — and more drawn out — celebrations, she is far from alone. For those invited to several weddings a year, the cost can be crippling.

Planners have seen guest numbers dwindle for overseas weddings because they simply can’t afford to be there

Whenever a wedding invitation lands on Suzie Parkus’s mat, the overarching costs it will entail can sometimes be a concern.

The 33-year-old dating coach from London says: ‘I’ve been to about ten weddings over the past five years and spent around £8,500 in total — the price of a small car.

‘First, there’s the gift. The general feeling among my friends is that you should give around the amount the couple are spending per head on the wedding — which means the more lavish the wedding, the pricier the gift ends up being.

‘I usually spend about £100, but feel like I have to give more when it’s been a particularly upmarket wedding at somewhere like the five-star Landmark Hotel in London.

Bridesmaid Claire Duke and her husband Stephen at a costly wedding

‘Then there’s the cost of buying a new outfit to fit the black-tie dress code — in my circle, you can’t really be seen in the same dress twice — and full-on ball gowns can cost anything between £350 and £1,000.

‘That obviously doesn’t include the cost of having your hair, make-up and nails done.

‘And when I’ve been single, I tend to make a slightly bigger effort because you never know who you could meet.’

Even worse, says Suzie, is when friends decide to get married abroad. This is lovely for the couple, but it can be a big ask of their guests.

‘I was invited to two weddings in Israel in August last year — one at the beginning of the month and the other at the end. There was no way I could afford to fly back and forth, so I had to pick one over the other. The friend whose wedding I turned down sadly hasn’t spoken to me since.

‘As it was, the accommodation was paid for, but I did have costs of more than £1,500 for things like flights and taxis to and from the venue. And while the wedding was stunning and the couple paid for everything on the day itself — food, bar and entertainment — weddings abroad always tend to be a much bigger expense to attend.’

Celebrities such as Amal and George Clooney — who held their glamorous 2014 nuptials in Venice — have inspired a growing number of brides to opt for an overseas location, rather than their local church or register office.

Lisa Burton, founder of The Bridal Consultant, organises luxury weddings abroad and has seen her business grow exponentially in the past few years.

Celebrities such as Amal and George Clooney — who held their glamorous 2014 nuptials in Venice — have inspired a growing number of brides to opt for an overseas location

When she launched her company in 2004, she planned ten weddings overseas: this year, that figure will be more than 100.

‘Guests tend to turn it into a holiday, but it is costly,’ says Lisa. ‘For somewhere like the Greek island of Santorini, it will be £500 for flights and B&B accommodation for a week; while for a wedding in Italy — often the most expensive option — it can cost almost £1,000.’

Lisa says her clients are mindful of the costs to those attending, but admits she has seen guest numbers dwindle because they simply can’t afford to be there.

‘People can’t manage to take the time off work, and that’s understandable,’ she says.

‘The bride and groom tend to cover everything on the day itself and will sometimes throw in a pre-wedding dinner and after-wedding barbecue, too, but sometimes, their friends still find the costs excessive.

‘That doesn’t deter many brides and grooms, though — they have dreams of the wedding they want and will go ahead nonetheless.’

Stung by the financial fallout from her friend’s Caribbean wedding, when Claire Duke married her fiance Stephen three years ago, they went out of their way to make their big day as reasonable as possible for their guests, holding the wedding at home on the Isle of Man and not even asking for presents.

Brides are wanting ever grander — and more drawn out — wedding celebrations

‘Some guests did ask us what we wanted, so we ended up setting up a website where people could make a monetary donation — but there was no pressure,’ says Claire.

‘I was just happy to have the people I wanted there.’

Indeed, when it comes to the wedding gifts, expectations have also moved on considerably from the days when a toaster or kettle was gratefully received.

Gift lists today are filled with luxury goods such as smart television sets and fitness equipment.

John Lewis, the department store that has hosted wedding gift lists for more than 100 years, puts the changing tastes down to the large number of couples who live together before marriage.

With three-quarters of couples co-habiting before their big day, most will already be kitted out with essential home items. So their choice of gifts is driven by what they want, rather than what they need.

This goes some way to explaining why the NutriBullet — a trendy juice maker that can cost up to £200 — is in the top five most asked-for gifts, alongside Sonos Play digital speakers for £169 and a desktop mini football game for £150.

And when they’re not asking for fancy gifts, couples are brazenly requesting cold, hard cash. Venetia Khosla, managing director of V Events, who organises dozens of weddings a year, says the majority of her clients ask for money, often as a contribution towards their honeymoon costs.

‘Gift lists are definitely becoming a more dated way of giving,’ says Venetia. ‘Many of my clients now include poems or letters in the invitations, asking for monetary donations.’

Gift lists today are filled with luxury goods such as smart television sets and fitness equipment

As a veteran wedding guest, Suzie Parkus has certainly seen this for herself.

‘Very often, you will find a sugary note included with the invitation to say they don’t have a gift list, but a monetary present to build up their savings or to go towards the cost of their honeymoon would be much appreciated,’ she says.

‘This means writing a cheque or slipping in a bunch of notes with the wedding card, which is both exposing and pressurised.

‘It can leave you under pressure to give the right amount.’

When it comes to how much to give, a recent study revealed that newlyweds could expect to receive £65 from their best friends, £80 from grandparents and as little as £22 from a next-door neighbour. Anne-Marie Jenkins, managing director of weddingshop.com, who conducted the study, agrees that giving cash as a gift can be tricky.

‘The majority of guests want to spend enough money to look generous, but they don’t always have the funds available,’ she says.

‘When a couple asks for money instead of a gift, it’s often perceived that this will be an easier option for guests struggling to decide what to buy. However, this can make it even harder because they’re forced to divulge exactly how much they are spending.’

To rub salt in the wound, the wedding gift is usually the final in a long line of expenditure when it comes to helping the happy couple mark the occasion.

Often, the celebrations kick off with an engagement party and hen and stag dos will most definitely be de rigueur.

Traditionally, these were no more than a meal out or a few drinks in a pub, but today they are far more likely to be expensive, weekend-long affairs — and they’re often held abroad. As a result, the average cost of attending a hen do has spiralled to £356 each, with men spending an eye-popping £750 per person.

Indeed, an entire industry has sprung up around hen and stag parties, with companies offering activities ranging from cupcake-making in the Cotswolds to booze cruises in Bulgaria.

Wedding guests will often first be expected to attend hen and stag dos - which can be costly overseas affairs

Five years ago, Stephanie Davies, 37, a company director from Surrey, was a bridesmaid at the wedding of an old school friend who insisted that her hen do had to be held in the Spanish resort of Marbella.

‘It cost £600 for the flights and accommodation for four days in Marbella. I had to leave a day early to get back to work, so I had to pay for the taxi transfer back to the airport myself, which cost another £60,’ says Stephanie.

‘But there was an expectation I should be happy to shell out.’

Jade Beer, editor of Brides magazine, says that hen dos are the second most searched for area on their website.

‘When we surveyed readers last year asking what they wanted more of, 65 per cent said: “Original hen do ideas”.

‘I’ve heard of hens flying to LA for the weekend or renting huge country piles in the UK and then staffing them with chefs, personal trainers and waiting staff.

‘It’s the one time in a bride’s life where the focus is squarely on her and what she wants. Frankly, it’s a brave friend who questions that.’

Certainly, Stephanie wasn’t brave enough to question her friend’s demands. ‘The bride paid for my bridesmaid dress, but I had to pay for all the alterations myself.

‘She also said we must have our nails painted and sent us pictures of how she wanted our hair and make-up to look, expecting us to pay to have everything done professionally,’ she adds. ‘I put my foot down and did my hair and make-up myself, although she insisted I send her a trial photo beforehand to check that it was good enough.’

Stephanie, who recently got married herself, was adamant she and groom Nick would have no bridesmaids or gift list at all.

‘A wedding shouldn’t be about filling your pockets or expecting others to stump up cash or time for your big event,’ she says.

‘If you want people to be at your wedding, then you have to be considerate of them.’

Budding bridezillas, take note.