TAOYUAN, TAIWAN—Shouting “Commodore” as nearby automatons were forced to cover their small peripheral’s microphones, a Taiwanese robotic baseball fan was ejected from a Monkeys–Lions game Friday after yelling slurs at a pitch camera. “Look at this defunct, malware-infected piece of scrap. You call that a strike? You ought to be recycled,” said the unruly fan according to stadium sources, who reportedly overheard his disparaging remarks about the robot’s baseline computing power and the inferior build of its motherboard. “Take a hike, trash cam! These useless st-56xI models are ruining baseball, but what do you expect when you’re relying on fifth-generation hardware? Go back to the Philippines!” At press time, CPBL revoked the robot fan’s season tickets after it punched a security guard while attempting to get back in the stadium.

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