A Healing Process

This had been my first job in Admissions, and during the healing process, I decided it was time for me to move up the ladder. I set my sights on advising roles, hoping to help students who were confused about their future goals. Yes, I was still passionate about helping young adults ready for college. It didn’t take long before became an Admissions Advisor, and then a Career Coach, at two different schools over the next five years. Each position was the same — a recruiter incorrectly labeled as an advisor, counselor, or coach.

The positions I obtained offered much higher pay and extremely good benefits. I should have just been happy, but two things still stand out when I look back at the positions I held in college admissions.

The second school I worked for initially felt more promising. It was a large university with a great reputation. I worked with a different population of students (non-traditional) who took online classes. I settled into the monotonous routine I was familiar with: cold calling, setting up tours, and sitting at event tables selling education for a mint.

It was becoming a blur of redundant sales pitches again, until one day, a student came to me who did not fit the profile of the non-traditional student. She was a student living on campus, a sophomore maybe, who somehow found her way to my office. She explained to me that she had seen her program advisor many times and she was concerned about deciding which program to enter. She too had been an undeclared student up until this point. Here she was, a younger version of me. The one I had been hoping to help this whole time.

She explained that she thought certain programs would help her get jobs, and the career path she most desired was not available at this school. She asked me to talk to her about the online programs we offered because she didn’t like spending time in the classroom. The online classes we offered were the typical business programs most schools have available (you know, to stay competitive of course).

She was sad, crying, and appeared desperate to find the “right” answer. She talked about how she knew her time was up and she needed to find a major or risk wasting more time and money on the wrong ones. She had spoken to various program advisors during the search to decide what she wanted to be when she grew up. They all gave her their elevator speech and sent her on her way. They told her how her programs would “align” with some of her interests and passions so she should choose to enter their program(close enough when hitting your numbers is a concern, right?)

The pressure was on for this young student, and it was clear that she was not ready to make this decision. I closed the door to my office, put away those beautiful tri-folds and sat down across from her to have an honest conversation with this student.

I flicked that sneering red devil off my shoulder and decided to actually help this student.

First, I told her that she was normal, and it was ok that she wasn’t sure which path to choose. I told her there is no timeframe, it isn’t real and she can take her time to decide. I assured her that this was her life, and if this school didn’t have what she wanted, she was not forced to stay or try to fit the wrong program into her plans. I told her that she had many more options than what she came into my office with. She could transfer to a different college with a program she would enjoy where she would thrive. She could take online classes, she could work for a while, and most importantly: she could take time off from school, go home, and come back and pick up where she left off. She replied with the one phrase that I hated hearing the most as an admissions counselor:

“But, if I leave they said I will never come back.”

My reply was my bosses worst nightmare, “Then that’s ok too.”

I then asked her to tell me, if there was no social pressure, what she would love to do with her life. She was too conflicted at the time to answer, and I know she still thought there was a right answer to search for, so instead I asked her what she loves to do. She pulled a book out of her backpack and showed me her portfolio. She was an amazing young artist.

Of course, like many creatives, she supressed her passion knowing that the social consensus on the arts is a “waste of time.”

I took the time to marvel at her work and told her she was amazing, talented, and gifted. I then sat back and told her that yes, being creative is bittersweet in our current world, but someone has to do it. If there weren’t creatives like her, we wouldn’t have the iPhone, electricity, movies, or books. I explained to her that there were many other career choices for her that include her talents and passion. We briefly talked about them and eventually that light that should have been in this young girls eyes returned. Hope and excitement for her future.

We ended our conversation knowing that she had a lot to think about. I reassured her that she was exactly where she needed to be today and that whatever she decides for herself, will be the right thing for her.

The truth is, college is not something that is a part of every person’s path. Trust me, I believe in education, but more importantly, I believe in the right education for the individual. College is extremely expensive and rushing these decisions helps no one. If a student, who isn’t ready or sure of what they want, fails out, that is an expensive rushed decision. If a student, who wasn’t ready, completes their program but wants nothing to do with the content after graduation, then that is an even more expensive decision. They felt pressured into it by social expectations, and they now carry the financial and vocational burden for the rest of their life.

A Fall That Became A Leap of Faith

I was reprimanded for not pushing this student to stay at her current school, and once again told that the school would close if we didn’t get our numbers up. I took a few days off after that meeting to think. When I returned, the office manager told me the young girl came in twice to talk to me, but they “redirected” her back to her original advisor. I don’t know what she decided, but I do hope she continued to listen to her heart.

I left higher education soon after, and I haven’t looked back. It was an ethical decision, not financial, which of course is risky. It has taken a few years to put these thoughts together, the healing process has been long, and the road has not been easy. Reflecting back, I now realize that there is something important missing between the high schools and the admissions counselors: the concern for the student’s best interest.

Guidance counselors have many students to assist, and not enough time in the day to help each one effectively. Admissions Counselors (aka recruiters) are biased and, in most cases, they are not counselors at all. So if you are entering college, thinking of entering college, or have a child ready to look at colleges, please keep this in mind. An admissions counselor is often a salesman.

Education is priceless, but the wrong one can be expensive with lifelong consequences. Know who you or your child is speaking with, and where their loyalty lies. If they ask about passion and listen without trying to fit their precious programs into your child’s dreams, then they are a coach with an angel on their shoulder.