They really want us to think this thing is actually happening.

Earlier today, the folks at Sony announced release dates (and a few release date tweaks) for a slew of upcoming titles. Sixteen, all told, and a few of them are actually pretty big deals! Paul Feig's Ghostbusters got moved up a week next July, a Jumanji remake was inexplicably announced for Christmas of next year, Edgar Wright's Baby Driver ended up with a Spring Break release date in 2017, and - in what may well be the most elaborate bit of trolling BMD's Stephen King fanbase has ever seen - The Dark Tower was dated for January 13, 2017.

I repeat: Sony says the Dark Tower movie - ostensibly the first in a whole series of Dark Tower movies - will hit theaters in about a year and a half.

And here's what that announcement would look like if it were drawn by Charles Schulz.

Here are the circumstances under which I will believe a Dark Tower movie is actually happening:

I am standing on set, watching a Dark Tower movie being filmed. I am exiting a movie theater having just watched a Dark Tower movie.

Until one of those two things happens, I remain skeptical. Skeptical and unreasonably, desperately hopeful.

The Dark Tower opens on January 13th, 2017. Allegedly.