Well, I don't who the angel is that sent me these tools of ascension, but god damn if I didn't get the best Santa ever this year.

It's my first year doing RSS, and I wasn't expecting much, boy was I wrong. My first Santa's gift got lost on its way over from Germany, so I applied for a new match and the powers at be rematched me with a really great person.

My Santa found out I was a smoker (420 blaze it, brah!) and today when I returned home feeling like shit, scared and uncertain from a brain MRI, I was greeted by the dankest box of of paraphernalia you could fit down a chimney.

A chameleon glass, american made bowl. A breaking bad (one of my favorite shows) themed mini bong. 420 playing card (jokers are stoned). A medical grade silicone bong, that can be folded to the size of a credit card for low key carry, but folds out to the size of a pornstars ding dong. A break bad themed smell proof (I think) case. A THC molecule keychain. A fisherman's friend, secret pipe (seriously, Santa is made sure I can get high during a tour of the department of justice). A towely theme card grinder. A grinch themed 2 in 1 weed case/grinder and thats just the weed stuff!

He also included a 1400 peice 3D puzzle of one of my favorite cities, that I will never be able to complete since I'm now going to be floating around all day. A mario themed mustache to wear while I smoke my 1 up themed pipe. Pixel sunnies, to conceal my bright red eyes and a Dark Souls 3 poster to constantly remind me how gud I will never git.

Oh and just for shits and gigs a visa gift card, to treat myself.

I love you Santa. I will be roaming the streets of Brooklyn for many years to coming living up to my username with the tools you have provided me.

You're a legend.