OPINION

IF THERE’S one thing I don’t need when I’m standing at the supermarket check-out in my trakky daks and cardi-gown, it’s to look up and see a 19 year old blonde in a Union Jack bikini staring at me, immortalised on the cover of Zoo Weekly, accompanied by a terrible pun about being stacked to the Bra-fters.

It’s not ideal when you’re having such a rough day you haven’t even managed to put a bra on. But we’re so desensitised to the amount of flesh that constantly floats in front of us, we just shrug it off as pretty gross and definitely tacky, but not in the file marked “Things We Can Do Something About”.

Except one young woman thinks otherwise. Laura Pintur, a 23-year-old from activist group, Collective Shout, has launched an online petition calling for Woolworths and Coles to pull Zoo Weekly from their shelves, and she’s collected almost 3,000 supporters so far. Whether or not the giant retailers listen and take action, Laura has started the conversation, and I LOVE her for it.

Now before you go labelling me a feminazi, determined to ruin everyone’s fun just because I’m a pear-shaped, angry, frigid 40-year old, full disclosure — I don’t mind porn. I’ve watched it — the kind that paints gender roles as equal, which excludes that woeful 50 Shades of Grey.

I even once did a photo shoot for FHM, as some kind of weird radio dare and in exchange for a donation to the Butterfly Foundation. It was the least sexy thing I’ve ever been a part of. Despite subjecting myself to an overall wax, my plucked pasty pallor didn’t really fit the mould. I lacked the, shall we say, flair to really sell the concept so that I was less sex bomb and more terrified piece of meat. The poor photographer had to manipulate me like she was preparing a turkey in bathers for roasting.

Regardless, I fully acknowledge lads mags legitimise the denigrated female image, the damage from which is almost impossible to quantify. But while objectifying photos of ladies in ill-fitting bikinis (they look like they’re trying to harness a bowling ball with a Bandaid) is disturbing, it’s what’s written next to the lass on all fours that is most concerning.

A British study found that when comparing language from lads mags (including Zoo Weekly) and statements from convicted rapists, most people couldn’t distinguish the source of the comments. Both use the language of coercion, deception and violence. Language that normalises dangerous attitudes towards women. And all this on the shelf next to House and Garden!

If you thought my voice couldn’t get higher from outrage, here’s another titbit. According to Zoo Weekly, their core target extends down to 16 year olds! How can our young men learn to have fulfilling and respectful relationships when they are being indoctrinated with a “do what it takes to get her in bed” mentality at such a crucially formative time?

The further I get into my parenting journey, the more aware I am of the influences that surround our young people, and tabloid journalism in general could do with a long hard look at itself. From my one investigative visit to the magazine aisle, I was confronted with headlines lined up in a row as contradictory as ‘Stop Fat Shaming’, ‘Miley down to 41kg’, and ‘Lose 5kgs in 5 Weeks’, I Quit Sugar right next to a Something Sweet Cookbook, and then some outrageous abs on Erin McNaught that really took the shine off the ice cream in my trolley.

There’s Cosmo and Cleo, putting even more pressure on women to ‘Blow His Mind!’ And then of course there’s the gossip. Completely unfounded stories about a Princess Charlotte kidnap threat, Joel Madden moving out of the marital home, Pippa Middleton being pregnant, Samantha Armytage being engaged and a very concerned story about HOW will Prince George COPE??? Probably he’ll lick a window, poo in his nappy and squeeze his little sister just a little too tight when the nanny turns her back, like any nearly two-year-old.

I’ve signed Laura Pintur’s petition and I hope she is successful. I really don’t want to have to boycott my local Coles, because my nearest independent supermarket doesn’t stock the quinoa porridge I like.

Fortunately, in her favour, Zoo Weekly’s circulation has dropped so far there’s suggestion it won’t last long anyway. Of course, those seeking this kind of entertainment don’t have to go far past Google to find it, so it would be easy to think she’s fighting a losing battle. But every step is an important step, even if it’s just in Aisle 10.