LANSING, MI -- To the federal government, he's Jesse Melot. To the state of Michigan, he's still Jesse Sherman. For legal purposes, it's anyone's guess.

Jesse and Derek Melot married in October. The Lansing couple traveled to New York to make their long-term relationship official because they could not do so in their home state.

Michigan does not allow same-sex couples to marry. And, as Jesse recently learned, the Michigan Secretary of State will not allow him to take the Melot family name by presenting his marriage certificate.

"I love him, and I think that's the best gift you can give someone," Jesse said of his decision to take Derek's surname. "This is for real. I love you. I want to take your last name."

Jesse visited two separate Secretary of State branches and presented his marriage certificate, which typically is the only document required for a newlywed to change his or her name on a driver's license in Michigan.

His New York marriage certificate does not identify gender or say anything about a same-sex relationship, but the clerks who waited on him appeared to recognize two male names and alerted their managers. In each case, Jesse was turned away.

"It's utter frustration," he said this week after the second rejection. "If I had been a woman going to change my last name, it wouldn't have been an issue. They're profiling at the counter. My certificate doesn't say 'same-sex.' It just says marriage. But they see the names, and they're discriminating against me."

LETTER OF THE LAW

Michigan voters approved a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage in 2004. The state officially defines marriage as between one man and one woman and does not recognize marriages contracted by same-sex couples in other states.

Michigan Secretary of State Ruth Johnson is simply trying to follow a law put in place before she took office, according to spokesperson Fred Woodhams.

"The policy for staff is to not accept a same-sex marriage license to be consistent with the state constitution," he said. "Anything that would lead the staff person to believe it is a same-sex marriage license would result in the document not being accepted."

Branch workers are not directed to be "on the lookout" for gay individuals seeking a name change, Woodhams said, but they are told they cannot accept certificates from same-sex couples. "Some marriage licenses may note the gender of the spouses or the spouses may both have traditionally male or female names," he explained.

In Jesse's case, his marriage certificate does not identify his gender. And he wondered aloud whether Derek would have been able to take the Sherman surname if clerks had mistakenly identified Jesse as a female name.

On his second attempt, he also applied for a common-law name change, which does not require a marriage certificate. He provided a bank statement and insurance card showing his new name in use, along with a new Social Security card proving that the federal government now recognizes him as Jesse Melot.

But the SOS denied the common-law name change request, in part, because Jesse had not been living with the name for six months. He married in October. He could go to court for a legal name change, they told him, but that could cost hundreds of dollars he'd rather not spend.

In the meantime, Jesse will file income taxes and attempt to renew his license, both of which may involve interaction between the federal and state governments -- who now know him by two different names.

"I wasn't asking them to recognize my marriage," Jesse said. "I was asking them to recognize a legally-binding document, period. I'm not trying to circumvent the system to get the state to recognize my marriage; all I'm looking for is my damn license."

LEGAL LIMBO

Michigan same-sex couples who were married in other states have been living in a sort of legal limbo since June, when the U.S. Supreme Court struck down a key provision of the Defense of Marriage Act.

The federal government now recognizes same-sex marriages performed in any state where it is legal, regardless of where the couple ends up living. But many states, including Michigan, will not recognize those unions.

For couples like Jesse and Derek, a former editorial writer for the Lansing State Journal, that means they'll be able to file joint income taxes at the federal level, for instance. But they'll still have to file independently with the state and city of Lansing.

A federal judge recently struck down Utah's ban on same-sex marriage, and another said last week that Ohio must recognize such unions when issuing death certificates, a document Jesse compared to a marriage certificate as he pondered his own legal options.

Here in Michigan, a federal judge has scheduled a February trial for a challenge to Michigan's gay marriage ban. The suit was brought by two Hazel Park nurses who are unable to jointly adopt the special-needs children they are raising together.

Attorney General Bill Schuette, who is defending the voter-approved law, said in a brief that the state defines marriage as between one man and one woman in order to "promote the optimal family structure for childrearing. To suggest otherwise is to paint the majority of the people of this State as bigots, which is both unfounded and inaccurate."

If the suit is unsuccessful, gay rights groups plan to challenge the law at the ballot box in 2016. The federal government has stepped up, according to Emily Dievendorf of Equality Michigan, and state officials should follow suit rather than enforcing outdated policies, such as denying a loving couple the opportunity to share a last name.

"Leaders in Michigan state government continue to be offered ample opportunities to demonstrate real leadership and a willingness to keep up with this important time in civil rights history," Dievendorf said.

"Unfortunately, we are seeing one miss after another, and every leadership void pretends that unequal treatment by the government doesn't harm human beings when we all know that is clearly not true."



Jonathan Oosting | MLive Media Group | 313.319.8559 | joosting@mlive.com