Mat: -1000/10. Nope. No. No thank you. Rumple SUUUUUCKS. If he isn’t the Dark One (aka covered in gold body shimmer which will get ALL over your sheets), he’s just kinda moping around the Enchanted Forest.

Michelle: -69/10. Weird and scaley or in his normal state, I don’t think I’ve ever been turned off by a person more.

Jenna: -1000/10. Rumple is the worst - manipulative, abusive, selfish - and he never, ever changes. I don’t know why the show is so obsessed with him, but I wish they’d kill him off.

Total: -689.5/10