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The Deepwater Horizon is the gift that keeps on giving. Usually, that gift is more oil. Right now, though, perhaps because of the holidays, it’s leaking something unknown. It’s a special present that will reveal itself on Christmas, maybe! That’s fun. Thanks, BP.

From CBS News:

An “unidentified substance inconsistent with oil” is emitting from several areas of BP’s Deepwater Horizon rig wreckage, but no sources of leaking oil were identified. That’s according to the Coast Guard, which oversaw BP’s recent week-long mission to inspect the undersea wells and wreckage from the 2010 explosion. The exact content of the leaking substance and how much is coming out is one mystery. But if it’s not oil, then it means the source of recurring oil sheens that have recently been spotted around the Deepwater Horizon site remains unknown.

The expression “unidentified substance inconsistent with oil” leaves a lot of leeway for what it might be. Pepsi, maybe? Hair gel? Possibly footballs? Is it stardust? Exposed Kodak film from the 1960s? Maybe it’s donuts? Is it blood? I bet it’s blood. Creeeepy.

But, seriously? What could it actually be? This is ominous:

The Coast Guard said BP’s main Macondo well was observed during the subsea operation and found to be secure. Two relief wells, the riser pipe and the previously leaking containment dome were also to be re-examined, but the press release made no mention of them and the Coast Guard declined to answer further questions.

This is how horror movies start. A hasty press conference, a quick statement that something unknown, unprecedented is happening, a refusal to be more specific. The uniformed government agents step away from the mic and out of the room leaving behind confused and quizzical reporters.

In other words: We were right and it was blood. And the holiday BP is recognizing isn’t Christmas, it’s Halloween.