Biased BBC accused of not pandering to every single one of man’s prejudices

55-year-old Simon Williams has insisted that as a licence fee payer the biased BBC should agree with him on absolutely everything.

Williams said he is sick to the back teeth of reading things on the BBC that deviate from his particularly narrow-minded view of the world.

He told us, “For example, I think foreigners have ruined this country, so I don’t pay the BBC £145 a year to read and hear stories about how that’s not actually the case, and that they are in large part making a net positive contribution to our society.

“If I think Brexit is the best thing to happen to this country in a generation, then for that sort of money I want to hear experts telling me that is the case morning, noon and night.

“I do not want to hear this rubbish about negative economic impacts and companies making plans away from the UK after Brexit – I wouldn’t read that crap if it was free, never mind actually pay for it.

“Thank God they still get UKIP on Question Time every week, it’s just about the only thing they get right.

“To be honest, I’d rather give that money to the Daily Mail or Breitbart, and get to have that warm cosy feeling that comes from never having your beliefs challenged in any way whatsoever.

“The sooner everyone realises I am right about everything, the happier I’ll be.”

A BBC spokesperson told us, “If everyone hates us we’re probably doing something right; now shut up and pay your licence fee.”