Imagine looking in the mirror and and seeing a stranger in your reflection. A major struggle for me, in terms of my gender identity, has been reconciling the person I see in my mind and the person I see in the mirror. They have some similarities, but ultimately they feel like different people. For much of my life I have struggled with my body image and I never really knew why. Or rather, I didn’t want to admit the reason. Part of coming out as non-binary was labeling that problem. I hated the way I looked in DFM clothing because person in my head was not a man. No matter how hard I tried to look nice, I never felt good about my clothes. Since starting this journey, I have realized that so much of my body image issues stemmed from the fact that I was a round peg trying desperately to fit myself into a square hole, and the more I expand my understanding of gender and free my gender expression, the more I am beginning to find that round hole.

About now, you might be wondering why I opened this week’s post with such a downer of a story. Well, it’s because, for the first time in my 27 years of life, the person in these photos is the person in my head. This fairly simple outfit gave me hope that despite 27 years of feeling disconnected from my body, the me in my head is real.

But I digress. You aren’t here for my philosophical musings, you are here for clothes!

A fairly simple outfit, considering the immense emotional impact it has had on me, but it has almost everything I love about fall!

The main piece of this outfit is the top. This top is a piece I bought and I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to wear it because it is actually not a top. It’s a dress! This cold-should t-shirt dress was an impulse buy. It was cheap and cute, and even though i figured I would never be able to wear a dress without looking ridiculous, I bought it anyway. And I am glad I did. I am taller than the average woman which caused the dress to be a little on the short side for my body. However, because it is a tunic cut, made of a stretchy t-shirt material, I was able to pair it with a pair of plain black leggings and style it like I would a tunic.

As you learned last week, I love olive green! It is a perfect fall color and I feel like it goes well with my skin. The autumnal inspiration does not end there! I paired the dress/tunic and leggings with a pair of brown riding boots.

This is a great boot, with a good amount of warmth, and I love the pop of gold from the buckles and zippers. The tops of the boots hit just below the knee, which I feel maintains good proportions with the bottom of the dress/tunic.

For accessories, we have one of the first “fashion scarves” I ever bought. In the early stages of my gender exploration, I started buying scarves as a feminine, but fairly safe accessory choice. This scarf remains one of my favorite fall staples. A warm brown plaid with a subtle yellow stripe, this scarf is autumn in a rectangle of fabric!

The final touch on this outfit, and what I think truly sends it over the edge, is the lipstick.

I am wearing Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick in the color Plath. When this shade came out a few months ago, I knew that, regardless of what the color actually looked like, I had to buy it because it is name for one of my favorite poets, Sylvia Plath. Being an English teacher and a literature nerd, there was not way I could resist. Lucky for me, this chocolate-cherry red lipstick is absolutely gorgeous! It stays on FOREVER without smearing or fading, and it was the perfect way to finish this outfit.

That is all for this week! Hopefully I didn’t bring the mood down too much with my musings. This outfit may not be anything special, but it just goes to show you that sometimes inspiration comes in the most unexpected places. Next week I am bringing you another “going out” look since I haven’t done one of those in a while. And I will be stepping away from olive green and showcasing one of my other favorite fall colors, burgundy!

If you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe! And as always, thanks for checking out My PANTS!

-Andrew

Shopping List (specific items linked where possible) Torrid – Leggings (size 2), Boots (size 13) Amazon – Top (size 4x) ??? – Scarf (I have had this scarf for years) Kat Von D – Lipstick in the color Plath (I bought this at Sephora, but I don’t believe they make this color any more)