letters to my future self

Addendum ████.1: On 2014/04/30, a series of notes written on paper scraps were recovered from PoI-████'s temporary holding cell. An excerpt of said notes is included below.

Her name is Julie Martins. She is taller than me, definitely. She has black brown hair and gray eyes. She likes talking about books and animals.

I hope I won't need this soon. But it's necessary.

I need to write about our history. Remember that.

I met Julie in a cafe pub. I can’t even remember what I was doing there, at the time. She came to me with two hot drinks and said that I was the prettiest girl she ever saw. She told me that she wouldn't sleep at night without trying to talk with me. I thought she was a creep. But her smile was so nice and charming I couldn't help but talk to her. We traded our phone numbers, and I left.

She called me half an hour later. I answered. After that, we wouldn't stop talking. We always met up every day, at exactly 10PM, in the same cafe pub we met.

She told me she was alone, and didn’t really have many friends. She always talked about how she was glad to finally have someone to talk to.

Our first kiss was at a nightclub she invited me for. We started dating the day after. These were the best days of my life. A year later not much time after, she proposed to me. I said yes.

She told me a few weeks after we married.

Told me to sit down, with a worried look in her face. Said that ever since she was nine, she could move and make things at her will. She made a plate fly in front of my eyes, and one second later it was a pair of bowls. She asked me what I thought of her, now. If I thought she was a demon, or a monster, or a liar.

I told her no. I understood. I said that I love her for what she is, and nothing would break what we had, not even this. I only asked her one thing: to never tell anyone, besides me. She promised, and we moved on.

I began to notice people in tall buildings, looking at our house. When I came to investigate, they simply vanished. I began to notice objects that weren’t in the same position they were the day before, signals and stains we didn’t remember making.

I started seeing more cops and parked cars next to us than usual. I started noticing more mean-looking people, staring our way. It felt like the whole world was looking at us, spying every little thing we did. I promised her that our lives would still be as normal as before, but I grew worried every day.

I started having nightmares. I thought of shady government agents, taking her from me, forever. I started seeing them in real life. Always on the lookout, making notes about us as we left houses and restaurants.

I started taking something, some heavy medicine. My memory and my mental state worsened each day. I cried myself to sleep many times; I couldn’t remember anything, anything except Julie and our life together.

She began talking about having a kid. I told her no. Never said why. I couldn't live in fear that my children's mother could simply not show up after work at any time, in any day. Eventually, she didn’t mention it anymore, but we ghosted each other for weeks a long time.

She never believed me. Never believed in shady agents ready to ruin our lives in a fateful day. She told me that what she had was random. “God was looking at another side when I was born.” She said that our world was completely normal, except for her. To stop worrying so much. She called me paranoid and crazy multiple times. We started fighting more and more, and our relationship worsened each day. We still tried saving it.

Then, the day came. She told me she had lost her job, and we couldn't live like that forever. She told me it was just one time, one time she would use it, to help us, financially. She said she wouldn't hurt anyone, that the mall bank had money to spare, and no one would notice. I told her no, that they would notice, and they would take her from me. We fought, and she left the house.

She came back a few hours after, with a huge grin in her face, holding thousands of dollars in a small jacket. “See?”, she said, “I told you. It's too easy. No one's coming for us.”



I was relieved. But I wasn't sure.



We heard a crack in the door.



Dozens of men, holding dozens of firearms, came out from it. Screaming about turning ourselves in. We hid in a closet. She said she couldn’t hurt anyone. She wanted she was crying and

She said there was something she needed to tell me

Then, I felt light on my face. I saw a man, looking at us. My neck hurt. I fell down.

I woke up in this cell. Without her. Every day, they take me to a cold, metallic room. Full of round, black logos and paper notes.



They give me several injections. And they take me back.



They're trying to make me forget her, I know. It’s the same medicine I used, or something similar. I didn't forget. By God's miracle, I didn't forget. Or maybe their doses are too weak. Or maybe I'm used to it.

I won't last forever. My memory is worsening. One day, I'll need to read this. And I want to make sure you remember.



I want to make sure you remember everything.

Note: The following note was found inside a mattress, severely crumpled.