BURBANK, CA—Upon the release of the much-awaited third installment of the popular video game franchise, the Walt Disney Company announced Tuesday that Kingdom Hearts III would feature Ernest, Turner, Hooch, and all the rest of your favorite Touchstone Pictures characters. “In addition to incorporating elements from Disney and Square Enix properties, for the first time ever, a Kingdom Hearts title will also include hundreds of characters and multiple worlds from such Touchstone Classics as Sweet Home Alabama, Three Men And A Baby, and Kazaam,” said Disney CEO Robert Iger of the role-playing game featuring an Air Force One-themed keyblade and a boss battle against Bob from What About Bob?, adding that, at one point, Sora, Donald, and Goofy fly their gummi ship to a Sister Act-themed dungeon where they team up with Sister Mary Clarence to fight Master Xehanort and his army of heartless. “We’d say 80 percent of the game is composed of Touchstone Pictures lands. Although our players have enjoyed joining forces with Cloud Strife or Mickey in the past, we felt that it was time for something new, and we’re certain that they’ll love dancing on the bar from Coyote Ugly or going on a shopping spree with Julia Roberts’ character from Pretty Woman.” Iger also revealed that the game would feature Stephen A. Smith, Holly Rowe, and several other prominent characters from ESPN franchises.

Advertisement