W alking through the lush grounds of Garreg Mach monastery, I notice an owl feather nestled in against the brickwork of one of the buildings, and absentmindedly bend to pick it up— I know somebody who likes to collect them.

Gradually, I start to tackle the day’s obligations. I check in with each of my students: Edelgard, whose sense of duty to her country threatens to smother her entirely; Linhardt, who struggles to keep up in lectures despite possessing a dazzling intellect; Bernadetta, whose father brought her up so strictly she now dreads leaving her bedroom at all; and about ten other students, all with their own hopes, dreams, flaws, and doubts.

I catch a fresh trout down at the river, then head to the mess hall where I cook it into a stew that will invigorate everyone who gets to taste it for days to come. I put a student in for one of the monthly tournaments run by the monastery, and unsurprisingly they walk away victorious. I sing a hymn, reply to messages in the advice box, carve out an hour for extra training with one of my fellow professors, and visit the graveyard to pay my respects to a family member.

This is all standard for a day in the life of Byleth, the main playable character of Fire Emblem: Three Houses, and yet the level of attention devoted to every aspect of this game makes me terrified to keep playing it. The trailers I watched pre-release tell me that I’m on the verge of a five-year time-skip, and when I emerge on the other side I’ll find myself entangled in a bloody three-sided war. The worst part is that my adversaries will be fellow students and faculty members of the Garreg Mach monastery — people I’ve now taught beside, fought beside, and grown to know and love.

I honestly think the dev team behind Three Houses might have done their jobs too well this time around. I just watched a cutscene in which my students promised to stage a kind of class reunion in five years, and now that the time-skip is looming I find myself dragging my heels. I went fishing despite the kitchens being fully stocked. I spent longer than I care to admit trying to find the owner of a hand-made hair clip I found on the ground. I double- then triple-checked to make sure I’d exhausted all dialogue options with the characters milling around the monastery. I found basically any excuse possible not to advance time to the next week of lessons and activities, knowing that doing so would carry me one step closer to the war.

Battles like this are what Fire Emblem is all about — and now, they’re what I dread.

Being able to interact with the characters, not only of my own house (the Black Eagles), but those of the other two houses as well has made the knowledge of what is to come weigh all the heavier in my mind; in fact, this honestly might end up being the game that has the biggest emotional impact on me this year. The way the writers have handled characters’ individual stories of abuse, abandonment, and bereavement with as much skill and grace as they put into the main story of the game is a masterclass in narrative design, and the result is a cast of characters so well-rounded I find myself caring for them as if it were really my duty. And with that sense of responsibility comes an equal sense of dread.

When the time comes, how will I justify ordering Bernadetta to raise her lance against the bookish Ignatz, who shares her love of art? How will I send Petra, a girl who was torn from her own home as a hostage of war, to contribute to the very same violent systems that sent her here in the first place? I feel uncommonly protective of my students, and I can’t help but feel very real concern for their eventual well-being. As I play on, I’m forced to come to terms with the fact that even if I can protect them on the battlefield, I can’t guarantee the friends I’ve made will come through the war unscathed.

I’m mere hours from the time-skip and finding out what it means for me, so keep an eye on all official Game Coping channels for updates. And if you haven’t snagged this game for yourself, I would highly recommend this strong contender for my GotY.