THE FATHER OF A BOY NAMED SUE (Written by Shel Silverstein) Intro by Shel Silverstein OK, now, years ago, I wrote a song called "A Boy Named Sue", And, that was OK and everything except, then I started to think about it, and I thought, It is unfair. I am, I am looking at the whole thing from the poor kid's point of view. And as I get more older and more fatherly, I begin to look at things from old men's point of view. So, I decided to give the old man equal time. OK, here we go... Yeah, I left home when the kid was three And it sure felt good to be fancy free Though I knew it wasn't quite the the fatherly thing to do But that kid kept screaming and throwing up And pissing in his pants till I had enough So just for revenge I went and named him Sue Yeah! It was Gatlinburg in mid July I was gettin drunk but gettin by Gettin old and going from bad to worse When through the door with an awful scream Comes the ugliest queen I've ever seen He says, "My name is Sue, how do you do?" Then he hits me with his purse Now this ain't the way he tells the tell But he scratched my face with his fingernails And Then he bit my thumb And kicked me with his high heel shoe So I hit him in the nose and he started to cry And he threw some perfume in my eye And it sure ain't easy fightin an old boy named Sue So I hit him in the head with a cane back chair And he screamed, "Hey dad, you mussed my hair!" And he hit me in the navel and knocked out a piece of my lint He was spittin blood, I was spittin teeth And we crashed through the wall and out into the street Kickin and gouging in the mud and the blood and the creme de menthe Then out of his garter he pulls a gun I'm about to get shot by my very own son He's screaming about Sigmund Freud and looking grim - woo So I though fast and I told him some stuff How I named him Sue just to make him tough And I guess he bought it cause now I'm living with him Yea he cooks and sews and cleans up the place He cuts my hair and shaves my face And irons my shirts better than a daughter could do And on the nights that I can't score Well, I can't tell you any more But it sure is a joy to have a boy named Sue Yeah a son is fun but it's a joy to have a boy named Sue! (Contributed by Shay Griffiths - April 2002)