SALEM, VA—According to moviegoers currently bracing for the next 95 minutes, the cool glitch effect used on the Warner Bros. logo during the film’s intro sequence must mean that some serious shit is about to go down. “Oh, man, here we go. The normal picture got all distorted for a second, and the musical sting was replaced by some garbled, static-y background noise,” said viewer Patrick Liepert, who speculated that, if the logo’s sudden disappearance was any indication, he might be in for quite an intense ride. “I wouldn’t be surprised if the movie opened with ashes floating down like snow through the darkness while a character we don’t know runs frantically down an alley. Shit, the Paramount logo is completely silent, too—this is gonna be rough.” At press time, sources reported seeing only white letters on an all-black screen that said “Siberia, 1908.”

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