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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Unemployment claims skyrocket to 3.3M | Senate passes $2.2T stimulus | Seven things to know about the package | Answers on relief checks | Hoyer says House to take up bill on Friday | Lawmakers to take voice vote | US coronavirus cases surpass 60k | Trump set for clash over reopening economy | How MLB is celebrating 'Opening Day at Home' | Kids who interrupted dad's BBC interview return

NEWS THIS MORNING

Unemployment claims skyrocketed:

Via The Hill's Sylvan Lane, more than 3 million Americans applied for unemployment benefits last week as the coronavirus has stalled the economy. https://bit.ly/3dw35mn

For context on the number of claims: During the week of March 8 – 14, 281,000 people filed for unemployment benefits. During the week of March 15 – 22, 3,283,000 people filed for unemployment.

From the former chief economist at the Department of Labor during the Obama administration:

BRACE YOURSELF. I have been a labor economist for a very long time and have never seen anything like this. Here are last week’s initial unemployment insurance (UI) claims. (1/n) pic.twitter.com/fWhljQF9ww — Heidi Shierholz (@hshierholz) March 26, 2020

It's Thursday. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

Did someone forward this to you? Want your own copy? Sign up here to receive The Hill's 12:30 Report in your inbox daily: http://bit.ly/2kjMNnn

TIDBIT -- TODAY WOULD HAVE BEEN MLB'S OPENING DAY:

https://bit.ly/2Jjex77

IN CONGRESS

Step one: check!:

Via The Hill's Jordain Carney, the Senate passed the $2.2 trillion stimulus bill last night to boost the economy amid the coronavirus pandemic. https://bit.ly/2QKJ6Xe

The vote: 96-0

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell Addison (Mitch) Mitchell McConnellGraham: GOP will confirm Trump's Supreme Court nominee before the election Trump puts Supreme Court fight at center of Ohio rally The Memo: Dems face balancing act on SCOTUS fight MORE (R-Ky.) said before the vote: "This is not even a stimulus package. It is emergency relief. Emergency relief. That's what this is."

SEVEN THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS STIMULUS PACKAGE:

Cash assistance -- "The Senate bill will provide a one-time $1,200 check for an individual making up to $75,000 per year or $2,400 for couples earning less than $150,000."

What about President Trump Donald John TrumpBubba Wallace to be driver of Michael Jordan, Denny Hamlin NASCAR team Graham: GOP will confirm Trump's Supreme Court nominee before the election Southwest Airlines, unions call for six-month extension of government aid MORE's businesses? -- "Democrats got a provision tucked into the massive legislation that prevents businesses controlled by President Trump from receiving loans or investments from Treasury programs included in the bill."

Unemployment -- "The bill provides four months of bolstered unemployment benefits as Congress braces for a spike in jobless claims..."

Corporate fund -- "The bill includes a $500 billion corporate liquidity fund to help companies impacted by the coronavirus access credit."

Health care -- "In addition to economic assistance, the bill includes $100 billion for hospitals, which have warned they could soon be overwhelmed by the steady increase in coronavirus cases."

Military funding can't be shifted to the border wall -- "The Senate bill prevents the Pentagon from shifting $10.5 billion in coronavirus funding to a counterdrug account it has been using to fund the U.S.-Mexico border wall."

Student loans -- "The bill would defer payments for federally owned student loans for six months, through Sept. 30."

Context and details for each: https://bit.ly/2wv6lhr

EVERYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT THE CHECK PAYMENTS TO AMERICANS:

Including the check amounts, who is eligible, how the checks will be sent and a timeline of when to expect them: https://bit.ly/2UjbNwI

What next -- to the House!:

The Senate-passed economic stimulus bill is heading to the House where House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer Steny Hamilton HoyerWhite House opposes House energy bill as Democrats promise climate action This week: Supreme Court fight over Ginsburg's seat upends Congress's agenda House Democrats postpone vote on marijuana decriminalization bill MORE (D-Md.) said he expects the package to pass on Friday morning. https://bit.ly/3dxDrhe

How the vote will happen: By voice vote, so members are not required to travel to D.C., but any member who wants to be there can be.

From Hoyer: "In order to protect the safety of Members and staff and prevent further spread of COVID-19 through Members' travel, the Republican Leader and I expect that the House vote on final passage will be done by voice vote. Members who want to come to the House Floor to debate this bill will be able to do so."

What about members who want to voice their opinions but don't want to travel to D.C?: Hoyer said his office is still working on that.

IN THE WHITE HOUSE

This could get ugly:

Via The Hill's John Kruzel, "President Trump's aggressive timeline for reopening the economy could set the White House on a collision course with governors and mayors who seem intent on maintaining social distancing policies beyond the president's Easter target date if necessary." https://bit.ly/2UBNw46

Timing: "Trump's proposal on Tuesday to ease restrictions by mid-April came as a number of state and local governments have moved in the opposite direction, heeding the advice of public health officials to implement stay-at-home orders and close nonessential businesses to stem the rising number of coronavirus infections."

WHERE THINGS STAND

Cases in the U.S.: The number of confirmed cases surpassed 60,000 yesterday. https://on.wsj.com/3dG94oW

Interesting read -- 'How the Pandemic Will End': Via The Atlantic's Ed Yong: https://bit.ly/2QMvoTU

LIGHTER TIDBITS

This is pretty funny:

Watch: https://bit.ly/2QLV3w4

They are so grown up!!:

omg our favourite family have returned to bbc world news pic.twitter.com/lP7vIqD37V — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) March 26, 2020

Watch: https://bit.ly/2UhNQ98

How you know this family: Remember the viral clip of a man's two small children interrupting his live TV interview. Watch -- I'm laughing out loud by myself rewatching this: https://bit.ly/3axlFbK

NOTABLE TWEETS

This is incredible:

While we wait, name the Senator:



1. R

2. ‍♂️ ‍♀️

3.

4.

5. <—

6.

7.

8. ⚪️

9.

10.

11.

12. ‍

13.

14.

15. — Kristin Wilson (@kristin__wilson) March 26, 2020

And because these have kept me very entertained, here are more:

READY?



1.✔️

2.

3.

4. ‍

5. ✉️N

6.

7.

8. ️

9.

10.

11. CD

12.

13. ⛵️O

14.

15.✖️&

16. N

17. ⚱️⚱️⚱️T

18. &

19.

20. K

21.

22.

23. ️‍♂️-

24.

25. W — Kristin Wilson (@kristin__wilson) March 26, 2020

ON TAP

The Senate and Senate are out. President Trump and Vice President Pence are in Washington, D.C.

8 a.m. EDT: President Trump participated in a Group of 20 Leaders' video conference.

Noon: President Trump and Vice President Pence participated in a teleconference with governors.

3 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence leads a Coronavirus Task Force meeting.

April 20: The Senate reconvenes. The Senate's full upcoming schedule: https://bit.ly/2ybF8kb

WHAT TO WATCH

1 p.m. EDT: Leaders of the U.S. Army are holding a press conference on the coronavirus pandemic. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2xpdLmf

5 p.m. EDT: The White House Coronavirus Task Force holds a press briefing. Livestream: https://bit.ly/3ajfPLi

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Spinach Day.

And because you made it this far, here's a man and his dog chilling during social distancing: https://bit.ly/3bpSSGj