Soap operas are like professional wrestling for housewives, full of outlandish characters and convoluted plots too crazy for real life. But not everybody gets to enjoy the madcap twists and turns from the comfort of their couches. Some poor bastards are out there actually living their own daytime TV dramas right now. For example ...

5 A Woman Killed Her Husband, Faked Her Death, And Became Her Own Fake Twin Sister

via unsolvedmysteries.wikia.com

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Alabama resident Audrey Marie Hilley was a regular girl who, like many regular girls, dreamed of wealth and status. Unfortunately, there weren't any nearby reality TV shows casting, so she took the path less traveled: the crazy path. She bought some poison, took out life insurance policies on her family, and started work on her husband. Once he was down, Audrey turned to her daughter, who also nearly died from arsenic poisoning. Luckily the authorities caught onto Audrey and arrested her. Unluckily, this all took place in the South in 1979, so all she had to do to was post bail or ramp a creek in the General Lee to escape. She chose the former, leaving a fake ransom note from a kidnapper as a flimsy excuse.

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"Well, that sure was a weird story."

"Nope. It was a weird prologue."

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Fast-forward to 1980. Florida man John Homan hit it off with a nice lady named Robbi Hannon, and the two got married and moved to New Hampshire. Robbi spoke fondly of her twin sister Teri in Texas, and eventually decided to visit her. But then tragedy struck. Soon, poor John received a phone call from Teri: Robbi had died, and her body had been donated to science. Just shipped straight over to Science Industries.

If you think that last part sounded a little odd, then John would have certainly agreed with you. So would the New Hampshire police. "Hi, I'm your wife's sister whom you've never met, and her corpse is science food now" sounded a bit suspicious, so they tracked Teri down and questioned her ... and noticed that both Robbi and Teri looked exactly like Audrey Marie Hilley.

via murderpedia.org

And both had suspiciously little pre-1980 Facebook activity.

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Hilley was sent back to her home state and sentenced to life in prison, until she escaped yet again in 1987 during a four-day furlough. This time, it didn't go so well for her. February is a lousy month to escape from prison when your plan is to hide out in the woods. The Alabama fuzz found their fugitive soaked in the rain and suffering from hypothermia. With her crazy-ass show finally at the end of its run, Audrey had a heart attack and died dramatically, just in time for sweeps.