STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. – It’s the epitome of being nickel-and-dimed to death.

The state ban on plastic bags takes effect on March 1. You won’t be able to use the bags to tote your groceries home from the supermarket anymore. And if you want the supermarket to provide you with paper bags, that’ll cost you 5 cents each.

I’ve been making myself ready. I’ve been hoarding all my old plastic supermarket bags, even the ones with some holes in them, to use once the ban kicks in. I’ll see how long the bags hold up. I’ve got a lot of them, minus the ones I’ll use for the kitty litter.

Because I’ll be damned if I pay the supermarket for a shopping bag after paying them for the groceries. Not that I have anything against my supermarket. It’s a nice supermarket. And it’s not their fault that this is happening.

But here’s the joke of it all: There’s already a paper bag shortage, and the New York plastic bag ban is going to make it worse.

We manufacture only so many paper bags per year in North America, an industry expert told the Advance, and there simply aren’t enough to go around. At least not in the numbers that will be required once the New York ban goes into effect.

I never did understand the rationale for charging for the paper bags anyway. As if using paper bags is somehow wrong. They degrade faster than plastic bags. And paper bags are recyclable, which means somebody somewhere can turn a buck on them.

So what harm am I doing if I use a paper bag? It used to be that you were environmentally enlightened if you chose paper over plastic. You were to be praised. But now? You pay a penalty. No wonder people are moving out of New York State in droves.

And the penalty for paper bags isn’t being applied equally. If you buy your groceries through the SNAP or WIC programs, you get your paper bags for free. But shouldn’t everybody pay their share to be part of this quest to save our earth?

If you don’t have old plastic bags, and you don’t want to pay for paper, you can bring your own re-usable tote bag to the store. Of course, those bags will eventually get dirty and stinky and slimy from carrying meat and fish and other delicacies. Something else we’ll just have to get used to in brave, new, progressive New York.

The Sanitation Department is giving away re-usable bags at events around the city. Predictably, Staten Island somehow got left out of this effort. It was only when the Advance pointed out that no Island giveaways were included that Sanitation quickly announced events here. Still think we’re not the forgotten borough from time to time?

The city wants to go even further in the quest against plastic.

In his State of the City address, Mayor Bill de Blasio said he wants to restrict the sale of single-use plastic bottles, 21 ounces or less, on all city property. This in addition to the city itself no longer purchasing “unnecessary” single-use plastic bottles.

How’s that bottle restriction going to go down with New Yorkers on a sweltering summer day in a city park, when they want to buy a bottle of water from a vendor? Or on a city beach?

And how is the restriction going to be enforced? Fare-beating on the subway and the bus is OK, but the city is going to task the NYPD or Parks Enforcement officers with enforcing a bottle ban?

And by the way, Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Dr Pepper and others sell soda in 24-ounce bottles already. So there’s your workaround. All the city could end up doing is encouraging people to drink more soda. Out of even bigger bottles.

And while we’re on the topic, who in City Hall is going to decide what a “necessary” plastic bottle is? A lot of ambiguity there.

But who’s got time to think of unintended consequences when there’s environmental virtue-signaling to be done?