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My Story — My comments, my accusers, my Queen’s

It is amidst continued pressure that I must step away from my position as Speaker of the AMS Assembly. Although duly elected unanimously by the incoming Assembly, the ensuing backlash directed towards members of this body has made my position untenable. I deeply and truly appreciate their support throughout this; however, in order that their important work for students carry on, I must resign.

I’d like to take this opportunity to offer some clarity on the prevailing concerns surrounding my election. What I said back in 2013 was callous and immeasurably hurtful to members of the Queen’s community. I regret them and apologise for them to the core of my being. I wish to retract them entirely. No survivors of sexual violence should be faced with such a lack of understanding of their individual experiences, and for that I am truly sorry.

I had hoped, as I still hope today, that following the maelstrom of anger, confusion, and betrayal, which were all justified, we could work towards a better understanding and personal growth. I had hoped to meet with student leaders and outraged individuals one-on-one to discuss, clarify, apologise, and atone for my hurtful statements.

Ultimately, calls for my removal prevailed, and a Special Assembly was called. What ensued in March 2013 could only be described as destructive for all members of ASUS at the time, and that’s putting it mildly. What could have been a constructive moment for the Society, one where I would truly understand the hurt my comments caused, and one where I could atone for them, became a conflagration.

I was a young man, with more opinions than facts, and I chose to behave in a way that not only was poorly conceived, but also caused other people genuine heartache. I will regret that for the rest of my life. I paid a price with my reputation and my standing in this community, and I can appreciate only in retrospect the magnitude to which it affected all of us.

The criticism levelled against me in that period ran the gamut from thoughtful reflections on rape culture to degrading bigotry and threats against my life. I will fully admit that this took a toll on me. Yes, I suffered a major depressive episode and survived several suicide attempts. I made the decision to withdraw from Queen’s and return home for my own wellbeing and recovery.

I cannot pretend to understand nor appreciate the experience of surviving sexual violence, which I have never gone through. What I can do is listen to the stories of survivors and attempt to be a better person in all aspects of my own life: as a bystander, as an actor, and as a more compassionate human being.

I can also share my own story. Two years ago, I nearly died at the hands of an abusive partner. I learnt from this, in the hardest way I can imagine, the toll of domestic violence. I had to go to court and testify against the woman I loved, because the court viewed her as a threat to the public. I have also spent the last six months living with, and doing my very best to compassionately support, a survivor of domestic and sexual abuse.

With the support of my family, friends, and faith, I made the decision to return to Queen’s last fall to complete my degree in two years. In spite of the derisive and dehumanising commenters online, I am not a “seventh year student.” I had been away for three years, for my own healing and everyone else’s.

I still love the vibrancy of this place. I got to reconnect with old friends and meet new ones. The beauty of our school is the genuine sense of community. I could not wait to return to the stands of Richardson Stadium. This winter term, I had the pleasure of regularly attending our basketball teams’ home games, and I got to sit courtside to cheer on the Golden Gaels Women’s Basketball Team in the OUA finals.

At the same time, I have felt as marginalised as ever. Coming from Sudbury, I know what it means to grow up as the only kid on your block who isn’t white. What I didn’t know is that I’d be called an “Uncle Tom” for not sharing someone’s political beliefs. What I never would have expected is being called a “nigger” and told to “get out” of the washroom at a restaurant in the Hub.

Discrimination and exclusion take many forms, and unfortunately, it’s rarely a black-and-white issue. We all live at the intersections of our own lived experience, but we can choose whether we will pass on the hatred and oppression we face, or confront it and try to be better towards those around us. I have chosen to walk down that second path.

I chose to run for Speaker of AMS Assembly because it was expressed to me that I had the skills and the competence to serve that role. If anyone had approached me before the meeting to express their concerns, I would not have offered myself. If anyone had raised their concerns when I spoke in front of student leaders, I would have withdrawn my name. If anyone had spoken even a word in opposition, I would have declined to serve on the spot.

I was willing to do whatever it took to demonstrate that I could make Assembly a welcoming place for all students and that I would treat everyone with dignity and respect. I volunteered to participate in bystander intervention training and all other forms of programming deemed appropriate, and I welcomed suggestions from the community on how to improve Assembly. I still have open ears and an open heart to all of those discussions.

What followed has been deeply disappointing. Perhaps where I have felt most betrayed is the smiling faces and extended hands of congratulations of some student leaders, past and present, quickly turning to hit-and-run smear campaigns online. It’s worse yet when it comes from an Officer of the University, who was fully aware of what had transpired four years ago, and chose to do nothing until I had no ability to respond. That’s not leadership, it’s cowardice.

I am humbled by the adherence to due process that has been demonstrated by both the incoming Executive and Presidents Caucus. It has been clear to me that they are people of integrity, and they deserve the chance to succeed and to represent students fairly, equitably, and without distraction. That’s why I have chosen to resign.

I am far from perfect, but I’m willing to listen, learn, and grow as a part of this community. I think that what follows will reflect more on the character of this community and its capacity for acceptance and forgiveness than it reflects on me.

I once again apologise for the organisational inconvenience this has caused, as well as the old wounds reopened. I wish nothing but the best for all students in 2017–2018 and beyond.

Sincerely,

Alexander Prescott, ArtSci‘14