Ahhh, the West Coast. Swimming pools. Movie stars. Poop maps (here).

According to U.S. News & World Reports’ last Best States rankings, sunny California offers the lowest quality of life America has to offer.

Way to go, socialist state legislature and other coteries of cluelessness.

Let’s check out what those left-wing politics get ya, shall we?

For all its talk of environmentalism (here), in the area of air quality, the Golden State’s moreso black — it came in dead last. “Low pollution health risk”? That’d be 45th.

California drinking water made it all the way to 13th — nice goin’.

Here’s a good one: As for voter participation, the state was second to worst. That’s not necessarily a bad thing — I refer back to my previous contention. However, low voter turnout could be a product of conservatives who know their goose is cooked so prefer to stay home and watch Flight of the Conchords and Downton Abbey — two very different shows I heartily suggest you check out.

Oh — and what about community engagement and social support? The home of peaches and p**** hats scored 44th and 38th, respectively.

And here’s a shhhhhhhhhocker:

— in the words of USA Today —

Los Angeles consistently leads as the world’s most traffic-congested urban area and even its own citizens have tried to secede multiple times.

It’s even better: LA has the worst congestion on Planet Earth.

[And I think it’s best we not discuss the price of real estate, but: When you read that a celebrity snagged a “$2 million mansion” in the Hollywood Hills, just know a couple mil gets ya a single story of architectural incidentalism.]

So the next time you think about headin’ out west, maybe consider a trip to Florida instead. On the other hand, they’ll ticket you for petting your dog, bomb you with the Mother of Satan, and — worst of all — fart and then stab you.

Maybe try Tennessee — but they think you’re a buncha racists.

How about enjoy Alabama the Beautiful — so long as you can avoid the terrorist training camps.

I guess no place is perfect. You might just wanna stay on your couch. Come to think of it, yes — get cozy, curl up with that nice laptop, and enjoy hours of RedState reading courtesy of, among others, yours truly.

Welcome home.

-ALEX

**The above scores were for 2018. Will Cali rally? Don’t hold your breath. Or do, if you’re in an urban area there.

Relevant RedState links in this article: here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Find all my RedState work here.

And please follow Alex Parker on Twitter and Facebook.

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