What's your favourite piece of technology, and how has it improved your life?

Without question, my favourite piece of technology is my Nokia n900 phone. It is super amazing and pisses all over the iPhone. The ingenious bit about it is that it's open source, so you can program it to do whatever you want. I used to do some work with Linux when I ran a post-production house, so we've worked out how to make it do all sorts of funky things. Some boffins who we do some work with have connected it up to a Rollodex, so as you spin through your contacts, a motor spins through the rollodex. And they canibalised an old Speak & Spell, so you can send texts that sound like ET. It's the best thing ever.

When was the last time you used it, and what for?

I use the phone 24/7 – my friends joke about me growing a phone-shaped cancer on the side of my head.

What additional features would you add if you could?

I would want it to talk to my Mac better, but I don't think that's going to happen.

Do you think it will be obsolete in 10 years' time?

Of course – everything is. However, the Speak & Spell and Rollodex were supposed to be obsolete but now they are coming back, so never say never!

What always frustrates you about technology in general?

I think people make new devices in such a way as to make them obsolete very quickly. Sometimes I want to punch people who make technology.

Is there any particular piece of technology that you have owned and hated?

The motor car, of course, because I was a danger to myself and others when I drove – I was crashing all the time. And the car itself is just fucking up the planet.

If you had one tip about getting the best out of new technology, what would it be?

To never, ever, ever buy the first of anything that comes along – always wait.

Do you consider yourself to be a luddite or a nerd?

I'm an utter nerd. I try to pretend that I'm a cool, funky director of documentaries, but I'm a complete and utter geek.

What's the most expensive piece of technology you've ever owned?

I used to run a post-production company for a few years and the most expensive thing in that was an HDD5 deck, which cost us £80,000. It's now an obsolete format, and I sold it two-and-a-half years later for just £16,000.

Mac or PC, and why?

Macs, for video editing – I edit all my films using Final Cut Pro, and Avid is the most pointlessly shit platform ever invented.

Robot poledancer, by Chris Atkins

Do you still buy physical media such as CDs and DVDs, or do you download?

I download illegally quite a lot and I encourage people to do the same to my own films. Basically, the studio system is just there to rinse money out of the public and the filmmakers. Why give another dollar to Steve Jobs? That 99c isn't going to the artist, it's going to Sony, or Warners, or whoever.

Robot butlers – a good idea or not?

I filmed an event last month with robot pole dancers. I tried to take one home with me, but she wouldn't have a bar of me. So yes, I think replace humans with robots wherever possible.

What piece of technology would you most like to own?

It's just got to be hover boots – we were promised back in the 80s that we'd have them by now. But where are they?

• Starsuckers, written and directed by Chris Atkins, is out on DVD on Monday