My reasons for no longer advocating are not what you expect. I witnessed hundreds of abortions but this isn’t what got to me. I ran the gamut of protestors to get into the clinic but that didn’t hold me back. It just made me more resolved. I held the aforementioned barf pans until I just about hurled myself. I listened to the story every woman had to tell about why she was there. I commiserated, I listened, I cared. I still care. I live in a small but very progressive state. A woman’s right to choose is constantly under attack but nary a nick is ever landed when anti-choice legislation hits the ballot. Women have more freedom over the bodies here than almost anywhere else in the nation. I still will argue to the death with someone who tries to tell me s/he has the right to tell a woman what to do with her body. So why, might you ask, have I discontinued my advocacy?

Two events occurred, very close to each other, that made me question what I was doing. The first was the murder of Dr. George Tiller. No, I did not start fearing for my life though the protestors were a nearly constant presence when I worked. I watched Rachel Maddow’s coverage of the event (and she was nearly the only person to cover it) and what struck me was the dedication of the man standing up for the right of a woman to make her own health care decisions....and health care decisions they were as nearly all late term abortions are.

Despite propaganda from the forced-birth crowd, these women weren’t flouncing into a doctor’s office in the 8th month of pregnancy saying they’d changed their mind about having a baby and could you just get rid of it, pretty please? I am sure that every abortion Dr. Tiller performed was on a woman who wanted her baby. Those babies, however, likely had gross abnormalities that could not sustain life, they were anacephalic (lacking a brain) or they were putting the life of the mother in danger. There was no frivolity here, these women wanted the opportunity to try again for a normal child someday and did not want their abnormal pregnancy to preclude that possibility.

Dr. Tiller put his life on the line every day just by showing up to do his job. He even did it after being shot by a deranged radical once before. He stood up for women in their hour of need, and he was proud of it.

Keep this story in mind as I tell you my second story.

A year or so ago, Fred Phelps and his Church of Hate decided to picket the San Francisco offices of Twitter. You all know Fred Phelps and his “God Hates Fags” schtick, for whatever reason he got it into his tiny little lizard brain that Twitter was pro-gay. Whatever. What was interesting was that a group of people got wind of this and decided to “protest” along side him. They put on silly hats and carried signs that said “I love waffles” or “God hates flags” or something equally ridiculous. The curious thing was, this counter demonstration worked. Fred and his crew didn’t like feeling foolish (yes, ironic, I know...) and quickly disbanded. A simple non-violent demonstration did the trick.

So I got to thinking, why wouldn’t this work on the abortion protestors? I floated the idea to the clinic director and she put me in contact with the security chief and wouldn’t you know it, they were excited about the possibility! The security chief said he couldn’t be directly involved since this sort of thing, you know, threatens security but he liked the idea of organizing people to fight back. So I did some organizing and planned an event around the opening of a new clinic here in town. I asked the clinic director to send out an email blast to all the volunteers, which she did, and I got.....2 replies. I tried again, trying to sell it as fun! A party! Parading around in silly hats! Got nothing. A counter demonstration doesn’t have much effect if only 3 people show up.

This is when it occurred to me. People like Dr. Tiller, and in an infinitesimally smaller way, me, put ourselves out there every day trying to make sure that women get to control their own destiny. I worried myself sick over some of the patients whose hand I held. Clinic workers in this country get shot and killed or threatened or harassed every single day but when the young women, the people most affected by the war on their reproductive rights, are asked to stand up for themselves and fight, they do nothing. They can’t be bothered. Even if they get to wear silly hats and carry handmade funny signs, they just can’t be disturbed. Dr. Tiller died for them and the women of Kansas couldn’t stand up and say enough is enough. They wouldn’t say, we’ve had enough of you wild-eyed, insane, nutbag, radical people and you won’t intimidate us anymore.

I have this glimmer of hope as I watch the demonstrations in Wisconsin. Maybe, just maybe, our national apathy nightmare may be coming to an end. We have always had the power to stop the at least some of the crazy in our midst. We don’t have to be intimidated by abortion protestors or gun nuts or anti-union forces. We’ve always had the power to take back our dignity if only we could focus our energies on who the problem people are. Protestors, nuts and forces have the singular purpose of denying you your liberty over your body, your right to peaceably assemble and your right to a living wage. These people may be loud but they are in the minority.

I may get over this eventually and go back to advocate. But for now, I want you to know, I do what I damn can for you. I vote for Democrats, I pay my taxes without complaining because I know some of that money gets used to make your life better. I volunteer.

Let me put it this way, I’ll work with you on this stuff but I’m getting tired of working for you. My generation is getting to old for this crap, you have to take the torch and run with it. It’s time.





Update: Many of you don't care for the idea of mocking abortion protesters with silly signs, etc. This idea was approved by the clinic director and the security chief but no matter, this still may be a valid point. If this idea doesn't work for you, maybe suggest ways to counter protest that might work. Use this as a forum for bouncing around ideas! I have to tell you, the security chief was deeply frustrated that abortion protests had gone on for decades without a peep from a counter protester. He felt that the numbers of protesters were small and that they could be chased off eventually if there was any sign of passion on the other side. The only passion I ever witnessed was from the men bringing in their wives and girlfriends....if only they could channel that anger and dismay into something positive.