On Saturday, I accepted the 2017 Journalist of the Year Award from the National Association of Black Journalists. I beamed and was full of emotion — it was one of the greatest acknowledgements of my life. This prestigious organization recognized me for my past 20 years of work as a White House correspondent, during which I questioned four presidents, and their administration officials, from Bill Clinton to Donald Trump consecutively. But I did not know at the time that I was about to receive another designation, also for my questioning of the president and truth-telling in the media — this one from the Trump White House.

The designation was in a new campaign ad, naming the alleged “enemies” of President Donald J. Trump.

I woke up Sunday morning to a frantic email from a fellow White House correspondent, linking me to the video. A picture of my face shows in the ad — among photos of other great journalists and friends, and California Congresswoman Maxine Waters — just as the voice-over says, “The president’s enemies don’t want him to succeed…” I was the only White House correspondent pictured, followed by the disclaimer of President Trump declaring, “I approve of this message."

Waves of sadness overcame me. I’ve felt unsafe several times in my career as a journalist — I’ve even received death threats — but the president’s “enemies” ad causes me great concern as racial tensions rise. This ad was released one day after the terrorism in Charlottesville, Virginia, a place I fell in love with this spring. Charlottesville, a predominantly white Democratic town, inclusive to its core, was invaded by angry hate groups carrying assault weapons and cans filled with concrete. It is now a town known for this event of racial intolerance. Knowing of the terror erupting in Charlottesville, who in their right mind would release a hateful video about enemies of the president the same weekend? This Trump ad campaign has put a target on my back for the crazies who may think the ad is true.

I was just a kid at the time, but I know of the great pressure against reporters in the ‘70s who exposed illegal activities by the administration that led to the Watergate scandal and the impeachment proceedings of Richard Nixon. Now, as more whistle-blowers are offering information the administration does not want released and reporters are getting closer to uncovering the truth about Russian collusion, the president’s behavior is getting more unpredictable, to the point of being dangerous. Trump’s words have inspired violent acts across the country.

I can't speak for the others in the ad, but my heart and mind won't let me be quiet. I am not deterred — in fact, it is a badge of honor that shows me I’m doing my job well. But I am disappointed in this action that is so against what our forefathers set out for this country. The freedom of the press is now being publicly challenged by the highest office in the land. As a White House correspondent, I am one of the many members of that press corps who are the first line of questioning of an American president. Clearly this White House is not a fan of the exchange of information that is necessary to report to the American people.

As I purge my feelings with these words, Mr. President, I still have respect for the office you hold and for you as president, but you need to practice self-control with your words for my safety, and the safety of others.

And as the last — and most recently fired or resigned — press secretary Sean Spicer told the Hugh Hewitt Radio Show when he tried to justify telling me to "stop shaking your head" after I asked him about Russian meddling in the election: “[April] is tough. … She grew up in Baltimore.” He’s right. If the White House wants to call me an enemy, to play this game of taunting me publicly, I am ready. I plan to keep raising my hand and asking questions whether I’m called upon or not.

I am not deterred, as I stand on the shoulders of the many who fought for my right to be in that press room and ask questions of our United States presidents.

April Ryan is a White House correspondent and political analyst for CNN and the American Urban Radio Networks.

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