Maybe Republicans will debate whether

this is an authentic historical document

(Spoiler alert: it's not)

Oh look. The non-Mormon Republican candidates are having themselves a little "forum" (read: hatefest) on family values:

The forum’s goal is to allow Iowans an opportunity to further vet the candidates on matters related to the family. “This is not a debate,” said Bob Vander Plaats, President and CEO of The FAMiLY LEADER. “Our purpose is simply to learn about their worldviews and to listen to their hearts on key family issues. The discussion will allow us to see a more personal side of the candidates.”

Interestingly, neither Mitt Romney nor Jon Huntsman will be participating in this discussion. Maybe Mormons aren't welcome? Or maybe they both think that spending two hours thumping their Bibles and getting their hate on isn't the best use of a Saturday evening.

And of course we know that "key family issues" is really just a polite way of saying "stuff we hate 'cause we think the Bible tell us to." No doubt they'll discuss why contraception is bad and abortion is worse and how the Kardashians gays are ruining marriage and Jesus was a dinosaur-ridin', gun-totin', Muslim-hatin' capitalist who was all about tax cuts for the rich. And if we're really lucky, maybe Rick "NSFW" Santorum will regale us with tales of why sex for pleasure is icky.

And which brilliant theologian will be leading this heartfelt discussion?

“We are thrilled that Frank Luntz has agreed to team up with us for the forum,” said Vander Plaats. “We believe his unique style, audience participation, and expertise in communication will drive the discussion in a direction unlike any other forum or debate.”

Oh goody. Frank Luntz, Republican spinmeister and bullshit artist, will be leading this discussion with his "unique style." How thrilling!

If you're jonesing for some good ol' fashioned Republican pandering and have nothing better to do, you can watch the live stream or just listen to the audio stream for the whole riveting two hours—or as long as you can stomach it.