HALIFAX – Nova Scotia Premier Stephen McNeil has decreed that all businesses and public institutions be closed until the first supply ship is spotted on the horizon sometime in the Spring.

A blizzard – now being referred to as ‘The Great Snow’ – has pounded the Maritime province forcing the government to close roads, grammar schools, and trading posts. Announcements of the closure were made by town criers.

“Oyez! Oyez! Oyez!” shouted bellman William Henry Sharpe whose tricorne hat was covered in ice and snow. “Through the powers invested in the Premier of Nova Scotia through Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, hereby declares that Nova Scotia be closed until the colony can be adequately resupplied from the mother country.”

The Premier also declared that rationing of storm chips be limited three sacks a day until “the first thaw.”