Photo: Dream Works

If you support reproductive freedom and enjoy erotic ogre-themed art, well, then you are truly a man or woman living in America in 2015! Folk hero and comedian Jamie Loftus is currently selling “the nation’s finest framed Shrek nudes” on Etsy to benefit Planned Parenthood. Ho ho! The other Shrek nude purveyors will be up in arms over such a bold claim! As Loftus explained to Death and Taxes, “Shrek because it is all I understand. Nudes because they are the universal equalizer. Shrek nudes for Planned Parenthood because I hate fun runs and bake sales but I love PP, so the Shrek nudes are what I can bring to the tables.” So far she’s made $400 dollars, and people will sing songs of her boldness for generations to come. “Oh, but she was 12 feet high and bright green, with the strongest support for women’s-health rights and the most tasteful nudes the nation ever did see …”