Rating 7.5/10

Hey guys Gary O’Brien with you with another random review so since we are in Rumble week why not do a rumble show. I picked one a random pardon the pun and here we are 2005 Rumble and lets get into it.

Edge def Shawn Michaels ****

Shawn jumps Edge as soon as he can. He lights Edge’s chest up with some chops, but Edge drops him with a spinning neckbreaker. Edge is getting great heat here, heat that only Big Johnny has gotten at all recently. Shawn fires back with a Lou Thesz Press and sends Edge to the outside. Michaels follows him but Edge kills HBK with an Edge’OMatic on the mats, then kills him some more with a stiff baseball slide. Shawn makes his comeback, but Edge thwarts it by countering a Sweet Chin Music into a Sitout Powerbomb. How more wrestlers didn’t do that, I will never know. Michaels tries to win quickly with a few counters, but Edge thwarts him several times with flooring strikes. It’s a good–if a bit subtle–story to tell here. HBK makes a comeback proper and catapults Edge into the corner, which provides a reason for Edge to leave. Oh, but that honorable babyface Shawn Michaels brings him back to ringside. That gives time for Edge to recover and spear him on the floor. Michaels makes it back in at nine, and Edge hits a Spear in the ring! HBK kicks out! Awesome nearfall. Michaels recovers and hits the Elbow! Edge counters the Sweet Chin Music into an Electric Chair. No one did that one either. Edgecution locked in, but HBK gets the ropes. Michaels looks for an O’Connor Roll but Edge reverses it into one of his own (and has some help from the ropes) for the win. A fun way to kick off the show the finish was ok not the biggest fan of that could have been done a bit better but that is all is wrong with this match you can see Edge is really starting to get there as a performer just give him a few more months and he will be on top of his game and his heel run is going quiet well.

Casket Match

Undertaker def Heidenreich *

We start with really basic wrestling for whatever reason. Heidenreich botches taking a goddamn hiptoss. Blame it on the MMA gloves or something. Heidenreich feigns walking out and whips Taker into the casket. Heidenreich throws worse stomps than Stacy Keibler did. Taker puts in a triangle choke, which Gene Snitsky interrupts. His arm is taped up, so the doofus clotheslines Undertaker with that arm. They try to put Taker in the casket, but Kane is in there. Kane’s arm is taped up too but he beats Snitsky up with his good arm because he isn’t a doofus. The chaos clears and Heidenreich has control. Heidenreich runs Taker over with the casket and then takes about ten seconds to put in a competent Cobra Clutch. Taker comes back and LEG-DROPS HEIDENREICH’S HEAD IN THE CASKET. What does Heidenreich do? Oh, he no-sells it and hits a Bossman Slam and tries to cover Taker. Heidenreich botches taking Taker’s DDT as well. And the chokeslam. Fortunately, Heidenreich is nice enough to take the Tombstone right and get rolled into the casket in 13 minutes. This was fucking awful botch fest city Heidenreich is fucking awful Taker did not care so this was a pile of dog shit the match being that long was bad enough as well * is lucky and generous of me.

WWE Championship

JBL (c) def Big Show & Kurt Angle ***

Kurt lets JBL and Show fight it out while he chills on the outside. Kurt Angle comes in to break up a pinfall, but Show’s all like “Fuck you bitch” and disposes of him. Big Show messes up the Smackdown announce table, probably just to give the Spanish team a bit of a break. Kurt Angle recovers and sends Show through the table, then focusing his attention to the champ. Angle counters a Clothesline From Hell into a German and the straps are down. He doesn’t get much though as he’s soon thwarted with a big boot. Big Show comes back in and cleans house. Angle and JBL take Show out with a High/Low and Angle covers him for 2. Show chokeslams JBL! JBL gets his foot on the ropes. Show takes it outside and SPEARS BRADSHAW THROUGH THE BARRICADE! Show comes back in and flapjacks Angle on a chair! But during the pinfall, Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns stop it. As all of the brouhaha is going on, Orlando Jordan comes out and throws JBL in the ring. JBL sees Angle and hits the Clothesline From Hell for the fluke pin.

World Heavyweight Championship

Triple H (c) def Randy Orton *** 1/2

Orton bitchslaps Hunter to start. He looks for an RKO, but Triple H throws him outside in mid air. Triple H foils an Orton comeback and goes after his knee. Orton nearly gets a flash pinfall, but it’s for naught as HHH kicks out and puts in a Figure Four. HHH bitch slaps Orton a couple times, which prompts Randy to reverse the hold, but HHH gets the ropes soon after. Randy makes a comeback and gets a two count on a couple neckbreakers. Orton gets a crossbody off the top for a close two count. Hunter dodges an RKO and gets a long two count off of his elevated knee. Orton counters a Pedigree with a clothesline! They get a good nearfall out of it. The Game holds the ropes on a DDT and Orton goes down by himself, getting a kayfabed concussion. He sells it like a freakin’ champ too. And we get our first ref bump of the night as HHH accidentally squishes Earl Hebner between the turnbuckle and Orton. He gets out the MAIN EVENT SLEDGEHAMMER but Orton trips him and HHH goes nose first into the ring post. Orton goes for the sledgehammer, but Hunter takes him out with a clothesline before anything happens with it. Hunter gets rid of the hammer and Pedigrees Orton for the win. Good match here I felt this was better then Unforgiven and could have been much more if I am being honest but my only fault was the overbooking and Orton not selling the knee it bothers me it could have been much better only for that and a few other things.

In the random numbers room, JBL comes in with a champagne celebration. Teddy Long tells him that he will face Big Show in a barbed wire steel cage match at No Way Out.

Backstage, Kurt Angle steals Nunzio’s number for the Rumble. hahahaha

The 2005 Royal Rumble match ****

The first entrant is Eddie Guerrero.I miss this lovely guy so much. Next is Chris Benoit. They feel each other out to begin, scrambling around in some cool amateur wrestling. #3 is Tough Enough winner Daniel Puder, who didn’t really amount to shit to be honest waste of resources. He goes to get the microphone and says that he will be the first Tough Enough winner to win the Rumble. He enters the ring to an ass whipping from Eddie and Benoit. #4 is Hardcore Holly. Uh-Oh. Welcome to Totally Fuckedville, Population: Puder. Puder makes Matt Cappotelli’s beating look minuscule. #5 is The Hurricane. And there goes Daniel Puder. He is soon followed by Holly before Hurricane enters the ring. Hurricane gets Hurri-beaten to holy hell and subsequently Hurri-liminated.

#6 is Kenzo Suzuki, who is a big bag full of suckitude if I say so myself. He gets his ass whipped by Benoit and Guerrero as well. That’s kinda racist, but then again you have three races in one ring so it’s bound to happen. #7 is Edge, fresh off his victory over Shawn Michaels. He doesn’t get his ass kicked upon entry, so we’ve got some variation here. #8 is Rey Mysterio who is noticeably skinnier here than he is now. Rey cleans house and eliminates Kenzo. #9 is Shelton Benjamin, when he was being touted as the future of WWE. Eddie is almost eliminated as #10 Booker T enters. WHAT DA HAYELL. He takes out Edge and beats on him as Shelton Benjamin is nearly eliminated by Mysterio. Eric Bischoff comes out to support Raw in the Rumble.

#11 is Chris Jericho, who just hits anyone he sees fit. #12 is Luther Reigns, who meets Chris Jericho upon entry. The wrestlers in the ring divide into Raw vs. Smackdown . #13 is Muhammad Hassan to HUGE heat. Everyone stops wrestling and TAKES HIM OUT together, which is just fucking awesome.. We wouldn’t hear the end of it. #14 is Orlando Jordan, and the crowd goes mild. Nothing of note happens and #15 is Scotty 2 f’ing Hotty. Unfortunately, we don’t a Royal Rumble Worm as Muhammad Hassan attacks him the aisle way. #16 is Charlie Haas.

Booker T is eliminated by Rey Mysterio after a Spinnaroonie. #17 is Rene Dupree. Shelton Benjamin is eliminated by Edge. #18 is Simon Dean! HAHAHAHAHAHA. This man went from the bWo to freaking Simon Dean, one of the best bad gimmicks ever. Edge eliminates Eddie Guerrero, who’s been in it from the start. Shawn Michaels is #19 and he starts hot. HBK eliminates Rene Dupree.

#20 is Kurt Angle and he suplexes some bitches. Shawn Michaels eliminates him though. #21 is Jonathan Coachman. Yeah, the guy on ESPN was in a Royal Rumble. And he runs like a bitch after slugging Benoit hahaha. Rey nearly eliminates Jericho but no dice as #22 Mark Jindrak comes in.

Kurt Angle comes back in and attacks Shawn Michaels with the ringsteps and puts in the Ankle Lock on the bleeding Heartbreak Kid, thus setting up a five star match at Wrestlemania. #23 is Viscera, with his white Mohawk and a very, very apathetic crowd to greet him. He wasn’t wrestling in his Pajamas yet. #24 is Paul London before he stopped giving a shit about wrestling and started caring about drugs. Chris Jericho eliminates Rene Dupree during his dance and #25 John Cena comes in to an ENORMOUS pop.

Cena single handedly eliminates Viscera and rights with Chris Benoit. #26 is Snitsky. He punts Rey Mysterio in the face like he punted the baby. He then eliminates Paul London in DISGUSTING fashion, sending the guy into a gainer and landing flat on his face. . Kane is #27 and we goes right to Snitsky. Kane chokeslams whoever the hell he wants and eliminates Mark Jindrak. Coach jumps him like an idiot but Snitsky saves him.

#28 is Batista to a TREMENDOUS pop. Batista disposes of Chris Jericho handily and almost dumps Edge as #29 Christian. Cena FU’s Kane out of the ring and teams up with Rey for a bit. #30 is Ric Flair, the best performer in Royal Rumble history. He teams up with Evolution mate Batista to dispose of Coachman. Soon after, Batista disposes of Christian as well. Flair and Batista eliminate Benoit, who’s been in there for 40+ minutes. Edge eliminates Flair.

The final four is Edge, Mysterio, Cena, and Batista. Mysterio 619’s Edge, but ends up getting Speared out through the ropes. Cena and Batista get rid of Edge and now it’s down to two. It’s weird to see Cena with hair. Cena tries to FU Batista out of the ring but no dice. They accidentally go out of the ring after Cena botches countering a Demon Bomb. The Smackdown and Raw refs say Cena and Batista won respectively. Here comes Vince McMahon. He manages to tear both quads getting in the ring and he just sits there with an angry face. Cena and Batista eliminate each other proper but it doesn’t count. Vinny Mac restarts the match with the final two. Batista eliminates Cena after a Spinebuster to win the Rumble in 52 minutes. This was a really solid rumble probably one of the best and the best in the last 12 years or so and the fact that Tazz and JR both were going for their brands was class loved the whole Smackdown vs RAW thing really made it better in my view. The finish was shite but still does not take away from this in any way.

Final Thoughts

Overall a really solid effort here by WWE only one match was shite the rest were good and the rumble is very much recommended to watch one of the best ever not the best but up there with the greats in my view. Until the next one guys goodbye.