Last week, the gossip site Gawker announced the most exciting news to come out of Canada since the Bering land bridge closed up: Somali drug dealers possess a video of the mayor of Toronto smoking crack, glass pipe and all. Not snorting coke off of a stripper's boobs like your run-of-the-mill high-functioning degenerate -- he was straight up smoking crack, the drug of choice for anyone three steps away from sleeping in a dumpster for shelter.

Suddenly America discovered that our sleepy neighbor to the north has been holding out on us. Not only did Toronto knowingly elect a morbidly obese chronic substance abuser for mayor, but this guy has been Chris Farleying it up for years. We've just been too caught up in our own screwed up politicians to notice. So here's the question everyone is asking: How did this guy become top Toronto dog in the first place?

The answer is simple. Rob Ford might just be the greatest politician of all time.

Rene Johnston / Toronto Star / Getty

They call him the white Canadian Biggie Smalls.