And here I thought nothing could be more disturbing than the live-action strip. Don’t get your hopes up about seeing us rock Jem and Stormer costumes IRL; I haven’t done drag since my Rocky Horror days. I don’t have the legs for it. Anymore.

Having grown up watching the Holy Trilogy of 80s Marvel/Sunbow animation – GI Joe, Transformers, and Jem (Inhumanoids being the Apocrypha to that Canon) – the prospect of a Jem movie excites me to no end.

Comics Alliance has already given some excellent advice about the approach director Jon M. Chu should take, so I’ll just add this: you might be tempted to follow the current fashion and deliver a standard message about Following Your Dreams, Believing In Yourself, and all that other High School Musical crap. Save that shit for Barbie. This was a show about a record executive who also runs an orphanage who uses holograms to masquerade as a pop star who no one realizes is her, not even her boyfriend, even though the only difference is her hair is pink and she dresses slightly more sexily. And sometimes time travel is involved. Don’t look to Camp Rock for inspiration, look to Phantom Of The Paradise. Just, y’know, for girls.

And you could do a lot worse than to have series creator Christy Marx involved, even as a consultant.

My only other wish comes too late to fulfill, since we’ve already had multiple GI Joe and Transformers movies; it would have been great if they had seeded in Hector Ramirez as the Phil Coulson of this Cinematic Universe. Has the fourth Transformers wrapped yet?