It ain’t over ’til it’s over, doubters!

It’s simple: I can’t face reality.

Now, I can already hear some of you Trumpettes and Clintonazis screaming “But that isn’t an argument, and it doesn’t change anything and it isn’t based on data, or laws, or even historical precedent.” Well. I can hear the Clintonazis screaming that; if I imagine the Trumpettes, it’s just screaming. But to all that, I reply: “Nyah nyah, I can’t hear you.”

When the Bernie Sanders revolution started rolling last year, I was there. I was in that tiny first audience when he announced his campaign and forever changed the world, in a permanent and victorious way. I decided all my stances, opinions, and predictions right there, on that day. And nothing I have chosen to believe has contradicted them, at any point. So how can H.R.C. be close to clinching the nomination? Easy. She can’t be. How can Bernie endorse her? Easy. He hasn’t. I don’t see how anyone who isn’t a moron or Satan could believe otherwise.

Got a comeback for that? Yeah. Didn’t think so, Satan. Refused to think so, actually! And since I am a delusional solipsist, that’s all that matters.

But, for the sake of fairness, let me examine the evidence against Bernie’s nomination and eventual Presidency:

Done. Nothing to examine. Get it now? Come around to the right side of history yet? Hope so. If not, I will fail to notice, and assume you have. See you in 2020 for the reelection campaign!