This is all very lonely work for me, and to be honest nothing I would have wanted to do if I had the choice. But I didn't. And as such, I have found an immense joy in the process. I am proud that I am "the gay dude who coaches heater dudes in a super macho set of pursuits." I keep my sense of humor about it, and keep my eye on the fact that I am potentially influencing the world in positive ways far beyond this pursuit.

And this is what Rob has just elected for himself. Naturally, our choice to not hide will change minds and open eyes within the world of strength and bodybuilding. But where we play a more vital role is in the bigger world far beyond these teeny, tiny sporting communities. Each person we impact goes forward back into their world with a message of tolerance, temperance and compassion. With enough of these out there, society begins to change. It's like dropping ice cubes into boiling water. The first few handfuls will just melt away, but if you keep it up eventually the temperature of the water changes. And even if it remains hot, at least it is no longer boiling.

Rob experienced one of these events within 24 hours of coming out of the closet. A fellow beast-man of strength and power who knew Rob as a tough bull of muscle contacted Rob with a surprising message. The man described himself not only as disliking gay people, but actually outright ANTI-gay. Somehow he thought gayness should be halted. yet, by his own admission, he did not realize how it could be right there in his own space of strength and power, and that manly men can love men just as much as the stereotyped sissies he imagined all gay men to be. He warmly told Rob that knowing how good a man Rob was and admiring so much of Rob's life work told him that maybe there is nothing wrong with gay people at all, and he overestimated the category. He thanked Rob for teaching him, and admitted to having to rethink his position.

Rob Kearney was this guy's hero.

And Rob was startled and amazed by this. He knew being out as a gay man while still firmly in the professional sports spotlight – even only a smaller one – would cause ripples among those who lift and train hard. But he never thought he would so soon see how his voice would extend beyond that world, and send someone forward with thoughts of peace and kindness. It was miraculous for Rob.

And I agree: it is miraculous. This is the gift of our choice, and the gift of the "extra work" we occasionally have to do. This is why I choose to be out and stay out, and why Rob chose the same. It is not for selfish reasons of convenience. It is because it gives us chances to create greater impact with our short lives. It feels amazing to finally have someone who not only gets this, but sees this.

• • •