Social science has confirmed what America has long suspected: “Only 28 percent have a favorable view of the G.O.P., the worst rating Gallup has ever registered for a political party,” The Hill reports.

Shocking, truly, but this result is even more shocking within the context of other polls. For instance, did you know that more people (30 percent of people) knowingly open spam? Do more people enjoy computer viruses than the Republican party? Yes, two surveys confirm!

And did you know nearly the exact same percentage of people who do not dislike the Republican party think God—as in, God—watches and influences the outcomes of athletic competitions. This means that if you select a person at random, they are more likely to believe that God has an N.C.A.A. bracket (and cheats to win!) than it is that they approve of the Republican party.

Here’s a good one: slightly more people “do not interact closely with people of other races” than the number of people who are O.K. with the current behavior of the Republican party. What is the overlap between the people who do not intermingle with the other races and the people who approve of the Republican party? Factoring in statistical aberration, we would like to make a conservative guess of 100 percent.