Adults say the meanest things

A few weeks ago, a science video went viral on the Internet. But this one wasn't full of quirky facts like how cats always land on their feet or why some farts are silent.

This video was by Emily Graslie, the host, writer and producer of "The Brain Scoop," an educational YouTube channel filmed at The Field Museum in Chicago.

YouTube channels focusing on STEM (Science Technology Engineering and Math) are popular. Graslie points out there are 13 STEM channels hosted by men that have more than 400,000 subscribers. Seven of these have more than 1 million.

There are four channels hosted by women that have more than 190,000 subscribers; none has more than 1 million.

But that wasn't the point of Graslie's "Ask Emily" episode — or why it went viral. In the video, Graslie talks about the "frustratingly negative and sexist comments" she receives on a daily basis. She fears women are going to leave the male-dominated STEM field because of it.

Graslie looks at the camera while a co-worker reads comments from viewers like, "she just needs some sexier glasses," and "perhaps you should consider wearing slightly racier clothing, besides obviously pleasing to straight males and gay females, it might raise your self-esteem."

It's uncomfortable, it's inappropriate, and it's appalling.

It's also something I've experienced firsthand. I may not be a woman of science, but Emily, I feel your pain.

When I was a little girl, I thought grown-ups didn't have to deal with bullying. I thought that when you got to be a grown-up, people acted, well — grown up. But it was a grown-up who, on the comments on my first Adventuress column for the Star, made fun of my teeth.

Apparently, my teeth reminded him of Chiclets and surely, it was my teeth that got me this job. (I assure you, a dental exam was not part of the interview process.) I've received plenty of unkind comments as a full-time reporter and before that, as a blogger and freelance writer. They stopped hurting a long time ago. And after they stopped hurting, I stopped reading.

I suspect that I also miss kind words and constructive feedback by not reading comments online, and that's disappointing. But when most of them aren't thought-provoking, kind or even sensible, they're not worth anybody's time — not the commenter's and certainly not mine.

Last year, Jennifer Livingston, a news anchor at WKBT in La Crosse, Wis., retaliated against a viewer who attacked her weight by reading his email to her aloud on air. The YouTube video of her segment has received more than 13 million views.

As Livingston notes, and I will second, a healthy dose of criticism comes with having a job in the public eye. "You don't know me, you are not a friend of mine, you are not a part of my family ... you know nothing about me than what you see on the outside," she said.

My email address and phone number are in the paper. That's so readers like you can share their thoughts, suggestions, opinions and critiques. It's not so you can drunk-dial me and say creepy things in the middle of the night without leaving a phone number so I can't call back and talk to your wife about it.

I don't believe the Internet is responsible for people being horrible to one another, but I do think it has given people a sense of anonymity that they mistake for courage.

There's no question that male-dominated fields play a role. The percentage of women in newsrooms hasn't changed in 14 years, never exceeding 38 percent (according to a 2013 census by the American Society of News Editors/Center for Advanced Social Research). Bearing that statistic in mind, I don't know of any male colleagues who have been asked by a reader to cover more stories while wearing a bikini. Take the sex out of it, there are still some pretty mean-spirited people out there.

And just like Graslie and Livingston, I am someone's daughter. I am someone's sister, I am someone's friend, and I am someone's partner, and I am sick of this behavior being brushed aside as "part of the job" or a "women's issue."

The line between bullying or harassment and "just" your "personal opinion" is not fine or blurry or gray, so let's stop being this non-nonchalant about crossing it.

Call Star reporter Leslie Bailey at (317) 444-6094 and follow her on Twitter: @Lesalina.