Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Seasons Greetings!

I wrote this little epistle 20 years ago, all alone, late at night, after attending a Christmas Eve church service that left me feeling depressed and a bit sickened… After one of the darkest years of my life. I was not in the mood for celebration or worship – but the service seemed so shallow & sparkly – the smiles and greetings so hollow & phony, as if everyone was covering up some secret pain.

Thus . . . I went home, and instead of getting increasingly depressed, I vented by writing down my thoughts & feelings – and the words began to go in a completely different direction.

Instead of being a rant, it turned into a sermon of sorts that convicted me of my own delusions and helped deconstruct my destructive expectations & judgments. God spoke, and it changed my mood. Christmas became “real” for me for the first time in many years.

So . . . I revisit and update the “Christmas letter” every year to fend off the coming onslaught of unrealistic expectation, disillusionment, depression and stress that tends to accompany the seasonal shouts of “Joy to the World“, “Peace on Earth“, and various admonitions to feel “Merry”. Reading & reworking this piece has now become a tradition of my own, and it never fails to get my head and heart right. I take very little credit for the inspiration.

Anyway, read it, out loud, shout if you must. I hope it has the same effect on you! Even if you’ve read it each year for the past 20.

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“I send you good news of great joy for all people everywhere.”

Um – okay. Fine. Hit me . . . What is this good news?

Well . . . on the 25th of Dec. (give or take a few days, months or years) approximately two millennia ago, in what is currently a small, heavily guarded, war-torn, militarily ravaged and disputed territory . . . a Jewish baby boy was born.

Therefore —

Um . . . Yeah. Why?

I mean, come on. Let’s be honest.

The world is a mess . . . to put it lightly. Right?

Haven’t you read twitter, facebook, or watched the news lately?

This is the age of outrage.

Friends and families are completely polarized due to an unremitting onslaught of propaganda. Truth is no longer truth, facts don’t exist, and no one can agree on what is real.

People around the world with agendas & deep pockets spread doubt, fear, anger & falsehoods in a successful effort to divide, conquer & control our media, culture & politics.

We have new words to describe phobias brought on by the mere existence of people who are different from us. We overconsume without consequence and refuse to take any responsibility for the planet which sustains our existence. We choose to blame all manner of economic, environmental, social, & cultural problems on someone or something rather than acknowledging or addressing their root causes. Racism & fascism have become pop-culture buzz words & rallying points. Many people (including me) are grieving due to the death of a spouse, friend or family members, or mourning the destruction of their homes by fire, flood, or hurricane. Others live in terror due to war, gangs, drugs or poverty – whilst other families are separated, missing their children, and seeking asylum anywhere in the world where they won’t be killed or tortured. Basically, there’s a heck of a lot of sin happening on planet Earth.

There is conflict in every corner of the planet – which sounds like a similar situation into which the aforementioned baby was born.

In fact, that’s WHY the baby was born . . . well, part of the reason at least. The world needed a savior – not a politician – and a baby came to the rescue. The baby of a poor, oppressed, Jewish couple came to save the world.

So . . . forget your cares and personal strife . . . and have a Merry Christmas!

Yeah. Right.

“Merry Christmas” rolls off the lips with great ease . . . but how often do you really feel “merry”? I’m not even sure I know what it means to experience the act of being “merry”. Is it a feeling, a state of mind, a spiritual condition, an emotion – or what?

But it is a requirement of the Season. You MUST be Merry, AND it is absolutely essential that the word “merry” be followed by “Christmas” – because “Merry Holidays” just doesn’t flow. Say it out loud, it’s just weird. Right?

Of course, you could say Happy Holidays – which includes the 4 weeks of Advent leading up to the 12 “Holy Days” of Christmas . . . but instead of learning the history & origin of holidays and words – such as the Greek letter “chi” or “x” was the original symbol for Christ . . . and the word “mass” means “Eucharist” or “The Lord’s Supper”, the “Breaking of Bread”, the “memorial of the Lord’s Passion and Resurrection”, “Holy Communion”, and often refers to the entire church service in general. Thus, “Xmas” is indeed a Happy Holiday, and a Holiday is indeed a “Holy Day”. However, we don’t want to learn or understand others – it is easier to create ”wars” to prove to others how right or righteous we are.

Some people are so outraged that others are merry about the wrong things – or use the wrong words to describe the day or season – they choose to ruin it for everyone else. We all want freedom of speech & religion – but only for those that agree with us.

If you haven’t heard, there is indeed a very real “War on Christmas”. It happened in 1642 – Puritans War on Christmas



Christmas was banned in America, and not really celebrated widely until 1870 – When Americans Banned Christmas.

In fact, if you want to be legalistic about it – December 25th wasn’t even acknowledged as the birthday of Jesus until 300 years after his birth – How December 25th Became Christmas

So, before you get upset that others aren’t doing things your way – the holiday traditions we associate with Christmas are really only about 140 years old . . . although the event they commemorate occurred two millennia ago. It seems sad that the event doesn’t seem quite as important as the traditions we light up, throw glitter on, sing about, and start wars over. In fact, for a lot of people today, Jesus is a cute afterthought that holds little meaning outside the Nativity scene.

Whatever you choose to call this sacred season . . . it is not always an easy task to be merry, and rejoicing is something that typically happens only when people indulge in mind-altering substances that numb or anesthetize us from all that surrounds.

People tend to use the season to fulfill their own agenda. I don’t know about you, but I find this whole thing a bit depressing.

Why?

Because I am an idealist.

Many people assume that only pessimist gets depressed at Christmas time — but that is not necessarily the case. Pessimists are depressed all the time . . . they don’t need the joy of Christmas to put them in a bad mood.

An idealist, on the other hand, sees all the possibilities that may exist. They want to believe the best about everyone; they actually desire peace and goodwill for all mankind; they want to make the world a better place, and they hope beyond hope that there is a rainbow with a personal pot of gold for each and every individual. Some of us actually believe we can end wars and eliminate poverty. As cheesy as it may sound . . . idealists want everyone to be “merry” in the most genuine manner.

Believe it or not, I am one of these idealistic types . . . but I find it quite a depressing experience.

When you discover that people just don’t want to share . . . or that many individuals prefer to acquire more than they desire to give . . . that war is widely considered to be the only way to peace . . . or that cultures, religions and political parties prefer to force their identity on others rather than try to understand anyone outside of their own frame of reference . . . that conspiracies and propaganda have taken the place of truth, facts and research . . . that our “Nation of Immigrants” now rejects the very premise, ideals & dreams that allowed our own families to arrive & establish themselves in America. . . that the Christian faith that I embrace has been hijacked, twisted and almost warped beyond recognition by political ideologues . . . or that the pursuit of personal profit is the virtue that rules our society . . . well – it can turn even the staunchest idealist into nothing more than a selfish consumer. A lot of people want to force a ”Merry Christmas” on you – but leave Christ as a mere decoration.

Christmas is a difficult time for the idealist.

We have this idea or memory of what Christmas can and should be . . . but it rarely is.

We wish to recapture the innocence of our childhood — the eager anticipation of Christmas morning, the belief in fairy tales, the importance of myth, and the comforting protection of our families. For those that never had a family — or had horrible experiences therein — there was always an idea or hope of how a family should be. The idea itself was enough to bring about anticipation and joy in childhood — but, as adults . . . we demand reality.

Basically . . . it’s depressing that we are not five years old anymore. It’s depressing that life isn’t full of Christmas miracles like in the old movies.

It’s depressing we’ve taken Christ out of Christianity, and reserve Him only for arguments, politics and Holidays that we do not even understand outside of our own modern cultural customs.

Reality is a hard thing for an idealist to take. We would rather close our eyes and create a utopia. We wish to retreat into a world where Christmas is a tangible reality — where people actually love one another; where people give not out of obligation, but love; where no one is cold or hungry; where there are no wars or rumors of wars; where everyone is polite and happy; where people are truly honest, and where no one is greedy or selfish.

Well . . . There’s this thing called sin and we’ve all got a bad case of it (even if you think you don’t). Unconditional love is a great thing – but it is not the currency that rules the world. Love, peace, and good will for all mankind isn’t likely to happen anytime soon, especially if we can’t even find it within our own extended families — although Christmas makes one want to believe that it could actually come to pass.

So – what’s a depressed idealist to do?

I personally hope and dream each Christmas.

I pray and prepare my spirir

I seek the childlike wonder of the season.

I watch several old and new Christmas movies to get me “in the mood”.

I listen to quite a lot of Christmas music and produce Christmas podcast.

I also create Christmas videos to help put others in the mood.

In fact, here are a few:

Christmas Video Playlist

I try to do a good deed or two for unsuspecting individuals.

I set my mind to be positive and happy, and to spread love to all those I come into contact with. . .

Then —

Someone pushes past me in a line or cuts me off in traffic.

There are way too many people in the store, and they just won’t go away.

I want to strangle whoever it is that keeps ringing that dang bell.

I hate the song that is playing over the loudspeaker system.

The media preaches propaganda intermingled with blind consumerism.

Politics takes the place of faith as we seek a human savior to solve all our problems.

We blame our national problems on “the other side” – pinning the cause and effect on partisan solutions to universal problems.

We ignore all the real problems in our world and society as we focus on our own discomfort & stress.

My own family surprises me by being somewhat dysfunctional.

I remember friends and family that are no longer with us… And, this year, especially my wife who recently passed away.

I dwell on past relationships and past mistakes . . . and somehow miss people who have hurt me.

I regret mistakes I have made, and mourn for things I have left undone – and all those people I have loved in my life that I have completely lost touch with.

I think of how the true meaning of Christmas has gotten lost in the sparkle and tied up in the tinsel.

Every sign, show, and sound screams out a mantra of buy, Buy, BUY . . . and I wonder why, Why, WHY?!

Thus — the idealist within me is crushed.

The North Pole turns out to be nothing more than a sound stage;

Santa’s beard is fake . . . and his breath smells funny

. . . and Rudolph is only a stop action clay puppet.

Depressing, eh?

BUT —

There IS tangible hope and good news of great joy for all people everywhere.

This little truth often gets overlooked in the hustle, bustle & shuffle that has nothing to do with the actual Holiday.

There have been times when I myself didn’t believe this hope existed anymore — but it typically slaps me upside the head as soon as I seek it out.

You see . . . there was this baby.

No, wait — back up a bit . . . there was this couple – in occupied Israel.

A young girl named Mary was engaged to this up and coming carpenter named Joseph. Mary got pregnant before they were married, but Joseph decided to marry her anyway — despite the fact that it wasn’t his child. It was quite the scandal.

In those days, if he were to have said anything about it to anyone — she would have been put to death. That was the law. Women didn’t have much say in the matter. I doubt her story about the angel would have flown in a court of law . . . especially when the court consisted of men with rocks.

They didn’t really have an opportunity for a proper honeymoon — instead, they had to make a little trip to Joe’s hometown, because the Roman dictator of the day decided it would be a good idea to have a census. He obviously didn’t realize it was the Christmas season and people probably had other plans. They hoped to make a holiday of it — but it didn’t turn out quite the way they had planned.

First off . . . they had to travel on foot. They were cold and hungry — or overheated and exhausted. I am not privy to the actual weather reports of the day . . . but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t snowing — that’s pretty rare in the Middle East, and only tends to occur in the European & American versions of the story.

They were racially and politically oppressed by an occupying government that saw them as troublesome and inferior and had to watch their step at all times. They we’re foreigners in their own land. The possibility for roadside robbery was high. Life was cheap, and murder was a common occurrence. Their race and religion made them “inferior” to the Roman ruling class. If they would have disappeared, few would have even noticed.

When they arrived at their destination . . . the hotels were all booked. They didn’t have much money, and were dirty . . . and probably smelly. Mary was feeling bloated and sick. She was about to pop, miles away from home, and there was Joseph without any means of providing her with appropriate health care. They also didn’t have any brightly wrapped packages to present to each other this first Christmas, and it wasn’t particularly festive — no lights, no carols, no feast . . . just fear, pain and exhaustion.

I doubt that they viewed the fact that the innkeeper allowed them to camp out with his animals a particular blessing. I’m sure they would have preferred something slightly more sanitary.

I mean, come on — how would you feel?

You’re about to have a baby in a small town in the Middle East, and someone sticks you in a barn . . . actually, it was more like a cave of some sort, which may or may not have had any animals – or even a common room in the back of the house where animals were brought in on cold, hot or stormy nights – But I digress.

Yet . . . upon this night, after a rather rotten and exhausting day that couldn’t get much worse — the greatest event in the history of mankind occurred . . . in an unsanitary shelter without anesthesia.

It wasn’t romantic, it probably wasn’t cozy — despite what the stain glass windows depict . . . and the carols proclaim.

It is highly doubtful that this was a silent night. Childbirth just doesn’t work like that.

There had to be great stress on Joe’s part and a lot of physical pain for Mary . . . as far as we know, she didn’t have any assistance in the birth. No Doctors, midwives or drugs. The only thing we can be sure of was that there was indeed some wailing and screaming involved.

This “silent night, holy night” came about amidst great turmoil. All was not calm, all was not bright. It was not very merry at all . . . at least, it didn’t start out that way.

I’m sure that the actual birth brought great joy to Mary & Joe — but this joy did not come without pain.

Pain is not necessarily a bad thing . . . the birth of every new thing causes pain. The resulting joy is worth it, transcending everything it took to get there.

The aftermath of pain is often peace. Many never get there because they wallow in it, or spend all their time avoiding pain or complaining about the potential danger ahead.

Wait . . . what about the wise men?

You know — those sages, agronomist, magicians or Kings from foreign lands that traversed afar in search of a newborn king? What did they find? A poor couple in a barn . . . or the three-year-old son of a carpenter — depending on which history you ascribe to. Either way, it was probably a bit of a letdown. They sought God’s glory, and it was revealed through a poor couple with a kid. Not quite the thing you expect after traveling across the world bearing gifts of gold.

Was there a media frenzy? If this was the Son of God — wouldn’t it make the evening news? Would God not announce this miraculous birth to the holy, elite, wealthy or famous?

Not really.

God saw fit to inform a group of lower class, uneducated shepherds. We’re talking about a multitude of angels, singing and showing the “glory of the Lord” — and it was a private showing for people who wouldn’t even be allowed in a nice restaurant.

The joy of the world doesn’t often come about through our expectations . . . and Christmas is not just the stuff of old movies.

Christmas is about HOPE. Real and tangible hope — not just for snow, a winter wonderland, or the perfect toy — but for the salvation of all mankind.

Through this baby wasn’t just some ordinary kid. This was God incarnate. The creator becoming as fragile as His creation. Thus, the Supreme Being and Creator of the Universe is no longer a nebulous concept or distant being in the sky . . . He is HERE . . . NOW.

Incarnate. God . . . Incarnate. The invisible made visible and personal.

We refused to relate to Him, so God became one of us, and walked in our shoes . . . so that He could relate to us.

Bizarre, eh? As Ripley said . . . “believe it or not.”

Many know about this baby . . . they’ve seen the pictures, sung the songs, and heard the stories – but they want it to end there. Many want Jesus to stay in the manger, or hang on the cross – not get involved in our lives. We’ve got things to do, people to manipulate, and stuff to buy . . . Messiah’s are cool – as long as they don’t get in the way, or make us think about the way we live.

We prefer self-help to salvation. We prefer a religious ceremony to a relationship. We prefer self-righteousness, rationalization & personal justification to unconditional Love & Grace.

We prefer politicians to a Messiah. Sadly, many Christians currently prefer political leaders more than the truth, message, life & teachings of Jesus Christ. The logistics & legalities of distrust & hate are much easier than the call to love everyone … including our enemies.

We prefer for the Christ child to be molded in our image – not make us reflect on who and what we really are.

We prefer a baby who receives gifts, rather than an adult who asks us to give everything we are & have as a living sacrifice . . . and worst of all, to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

We’ve spent the past two thousand years trying to reinterpret everything He said to suit our various cultural & political agendas, all the while ignoring the fact that He chose to go against all the cultural & religious norms of His day . . . and refused to get involved in politics at all.

He could have had his own news network, caused a political coup, lead victorious wars, taken the world by storm . . . but he took a slightly more subtle approach. Instead of being glorified, He was killed – for your sake – because He loves you. Yeah, you. I’m talkin to you!

We all have our own expectations of what God should do, and what the holiday season should be — but peace and joy lie in the unexpected. They emerge as a gift, and we often can’t see the light unless we emerge from the darkness.

God can take a seemingly miserable situation and bring about great joy . . . making a dirty feed trough a throne, and revealing his glory to those at the bottom of the social strata. He doesn’t seem to go in much for red carpets, power, politics or glitter.

The first “Christ Mass” was precipitated by stress and disappointment . . . possibly even great despair. What was the result? Tremendous joy — the answer all of humanity had been seeking . . . and still, seek to this day.

Salvation, redemption, love & grace – not rules, restrictions, judgement & hate. This baby grew up to love you unconditionally whether you believe it or not. (You don’t have to believe in air either for it to sustain your life).

The strange thing is . . . a lot of people just didn’t see it – and still seem to ignore it. I guess things didn’t happen according to their expectations.

Therefore — drop your expectations!

Don’t try to plan too much, because the best things that happen in our lives rarely go according to any plan we might have had.

Christmas is what happens when we’re busy making plans on how to prepare for it.

Yes, there are a lot of problems in the world today that cannot be overlooked. Yes, there are wars and rumors of wars. Yes, a lot of people are poor, many are homeless, others are rich and miserable, some are sick, a few are dying as I write this, and quite a few are just mean. Yes, there are bad people in every town around the globe, and good people grieving for lost loved ones.

What does God do about it?

Well, there was this baby. . .

For God so loved the world . . . he gave it light.

Out of the deepest darkness came the most brilliant, life-giving light.

He offered salvation and made it accessible to one and all. Yes, seriously – unconditional LOVE and GRACE for all . . . especially you.

No matter who you are, what you’ve done, or how you feel – God has a gift for you. A REAL gift – not a mystical idea.

What we do with this light, or how we wish to see it, is a matter of our own free will. God gave us the potential for great joy — not guilt and condemnation.

Whether you acknowledge it or not – you are not alone, and you are loved!

There have been many times in my life I refused to acknowledge this, or quit believing it altogether – but I know it’s true. It has brought me back from the brink.

Christmas actually has very little to do with gifts, lights, decorations, television specials, food, or carols — these things are nice, yes, but not essential.

Christmas is much bigger than that.

The biggest tree in the world with more lights than Vegas at night cannot begin to compare with the glory of that small child lying in a dirty feed trough.

Want to experience Christmas?

Look at the light in the eyes of a child . . .

Go swing or sled with wild abandon . . .

Watch ducks . . . or dogs . . . or any animal at play. . .

Imitate them. . .

Hear the rhythm presently pumping through your chest. . .

Contemplate the miracle of your own life . . .

Contemplate the miracle that you are actually able to contemplate anything at all . .

Notice the sights, sounds and smells that surround you. . .

Listen to the rhythm of nature, ebbing and flowing in perfect harmony. . .

Feel the touch of someone’s hand. . .

Hug someone . . . and linger . . . feel their life flow through your embrace. . .

Find a person who means something to you, and spend some time with them. . .

If you love someone, look at them, hold them — cherish them. . .

Embrace the loving memory & presence of love ones that are currently in God’s presence.

Smile at a stranger. . .

Hug everyone you come into contact with. . .

Give a gift to someone you’ve never met . . .

Have a conversation with someone outside of your social structure. . .

Tell somebody you love them — whether you know them or not . . .

Gaze into a starry sky . . .

Notice the moonlight glistening on the trees. . .

Study a single snowflake. . .

Listen to the raindrops. . .

If it’s cold, feel the sensation against your skin – remember it for when you’re too hot . . .

If it’s hot, feel the sensation against your skin – remember it for when you’re too cold . . .

Watch a butterfly flit through the best 24 hours of its life. . .

Marvel at the construction of a flower . . .

Gaze deeply into a river or ocean . . .

Stand in awe of the hills and mountains – or valleys and deserts . . .

Soak in the immensity of creation . . .

Look around you right now . . .

Find something — an object, a person — anything at all . . .

Think of everything or everyone it took to take this object through the various stages of its existence until it arrived in its present form . . .

Marvel.

Wonder.

Discover what it is like to be in awe.

Reflect on the wonder of laughter . . .

Try laughing — right now . . .

Laugh at anything. . . Laugh at everything. . .

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Allow happiness to affect your face. . .

Hum a song. . .

Sing it out loud if you dare. . .

Pick up a musical instrument and play, even if you don’t know how. . .

Get up and dance!

Listen to some live jazz – you’ll be surprised. It’s really better than you think . . . and it is the foundation for everything you listen to, but that’s another blog. 😎

Go for a walk. . .

Have a long, honest talk with someone. . .

Create a new memory. . .

Stop the hustle, bustle, and rush. . .

Enjoy this moment. . . and this one . . . and . . . this one too. . .

Breathe . . .

Forget the plans that you made. . .

Move beyond all the plans that didn’t turn out right. . .

Expect the unexpected. . .

Do not allow situations or circumstances to stand in the way of your joy. . . .

Do not wait for permission to be the person you are created to be. . .

As Cirque Du Soleil put it –

“If you have no voice . . . sing

If you have no legs . . . dance

If you have no hope . . . create.”

Here is a short, uplifting film featuring the man above who has no arms or legs: The Butterfly Circus

If Santa has let you down — then allow yourself to become Santa for others.

How can we become Santa?

It involves a lot more than a red suit . . . and less.

Just do something — anything — for someone else without the thought of receiving anything in return. You don’t actually need the red velvet suit to give. The Spirit of Santa is the way you treat your fellow-man – so . . . does he exist or not? It’s really all up to you.

Let the Spirit of that newborn child dwell in your heart.

Let it spill over onto everyone with whom you come into contact.

Get to know your creator by seeking, thinking, praying, singing, dancing, painting, creating, reaching outside of yourself, and joining in as part of the creative collective which comprises the human race.

Therein, you will find Christmas.



Hark, the Herald Angels sing,

Glory to the newborn King.

Peace on Earth, and mercy mild,

God and sinners reconciled.

May you find hope and wonder this day.

May you experience peace amidst the hype, stress or disappointments;

May Truth stare you in the face;

May Love fill your heart, your family, and everyone you come into contact with . . .

today, tomorrow, and on into this wide Millennium beyond.

God is not dead, nor is he silent . . . we’ve just forgotten how to listen.

God is not simply “somewhere up there”. . . but HERE — right now.

God is all over this tormented planet, filled with tears and love for the plight of many he knows so intimately.

God is with you – right now . . . as well as all those you’ve ever known or loved.

Just call out – talk – express yourself. Tell him all your thoughts, doubts & fears.

He’ll hear you. If you listen, He’ll answer you too.

God is with the Jews in Jerusalem, the Palestinians in the West Bank, the Muslims in Afghanistan, and the Hindu outcasts in Calcutta.

God is in America, Russia, Iran, and N. Korea — and He doesn’t tend to pick favorites.

God is with Trump . . . as well as Hillary – He isn’t political.

God is with every immigrant in America . . . and their legal status has nothing whatsoever to do with his unconditional love.

God is with a family in the heartland, and a homeless man in the city. God doesn’t favor one demographic or culture over another.

God is in churches of all denominations — with worshipers of all backgrounds. If you don’t hear him or feel him, maybe you need to find another church family. One bad church and a few hypocritical members do not represent the entire Kingdom of God.

God is currently in the cold and dark of Siberia, as well as on a beach in Sydney.

God is on death row in Texas, in every Governor’s mansion, and the White House in DC.

God is with Republicans and Democrats . . . with liberals and conservatives . . . and even with the very people you unfriended because of their political views.

God is with all your relatives . . . even those you don’t like all that much. He would be very excited to spend time with them, even though they might be driving you crazy at this very moment.

God is with all nations . . . and he doesn’t waste any time trying to prove that one is better than the others.

God is with the saint and the sinner – offering free salvation to all who will accept.

GOD IS HERE!!

Just look for Him, listen for Him, call out — He’s not hard to find . . . and have a most blessed celebration of the incarnation.

God Bless Us . . . Everyone!

Love, Peace, Joy, Faith, and Hope . . . now and always,

Agape Y’all

J. Scott Fugate

“The Jazz Evangelist”