. . . well, at least an appropriate one. From onenewsnow via Jeffrey Shalit via reader Michael, we learn that the redoubtable William Dembski, graduate of the University of Chicago and winner of the Absentee Award at the Dover Trial, has landed his dream job:

Renowned intelligent design expert Dr. William Dembski is taking a teaching position at the Southern Evangelical Seminary this August. Dembski will be the Phillip E. Johnson Research Professor of Science and Culture, named for the founder of modern intelligent design. He says he is especially concerned about the 70 to 80 percent of students who shed their faith after attending college. He will also be working to advance the seminary’s Institute of Scientific Apologetics.

What? Scientific apologetics?

“I don’t see apologetics as the full solution to it, but I think it’s a piece of the puzzle, and I think [for] a lot Christians, a lot of church-going people, the question is asked — why do you believe in Christianity? Why do you think it’s true,” he suggests. “I think they don’t really have an answer.”

Never fear—Dembski will tell them! On the down side, he’ll have to adhere to the seminary’s doctrinal statement, which includes the following:

Creation. We believe in the special creation of the entire space-time universe and of every basic form of life in the six historic days of the Genesis creation record. We also believe in the historicity of the biblical record, including the special creation of Adam and Eve as the literal progenitors of all people, the literal fall and resultant divine curse on the creation, the worldwide flood, and the origin of nations and diverse languages at the tower of Babel.

That’s a lot of scientific evidence that Dembski’s gonna have to explain away. But wait—there’s an apparent conflict:

Dembski says he is “an old-earth creationist” when it comes to the Genesis account of creation. “So I don’t read it as a literal six days, 6,000-year chronology. I know there’s some variation on that,” he admits. “The other position certainly is the traditional one, and I don’t have a problem with believers who hold that.”

I guess “historic days” differ from “literal days.”

Here’s what else Dembski must espouse:

Resurrection. We believe that the Lord Jesus Christ arose from the dead in the same physical body, though glorified, in which He had lived and died, and that His resurrection body is the pattern of that body that will be given to all believers at the return of Christ.

Ascension. We believe that the Lord Jesus Christ ascended into heaven in the same glorified physical body in which He arose, was seated at His Father’s right hand, assuring us of the perfection of His work of redemption, and that He now, as Head over all things to the Church, is engaged on behalf of the saved as their only Advocate.

There are a lot more, but this is the best one:

Satan. We believe that there is a personal devil, a being of great cunning and power, who is “the prince and the power of the air,” “the prince of this world,” and “the god of this age.” We believe that he can exert vast power but only as far as God permits him to do so, that he shall ultimately be cast into the lake of fire and brimstone and shall be tormented day and night forever.

Since Dembski is apparently keeping his job as a senior fellow at the intelligent-design-laced Discovery Institute, his acceptance of the flood, of Adam and Eve, and of the instantaneous origin of all life will put him at odds with some of his ID colleagues. But we knew that Dembski was lying for Jesus all along.