When I'm being my usual mature and understanding self, I recognize that Lily was just an ordinary teenage girl who was in an awkward social situation and handled it badly. It's something that happens to all of us in the course of growing up. But a big part of the fun of fandom is letting my inner fourteen-year-old out to play. When that happens I deliberately forget about being mature and understanding and fair, and turn bitchy myself in defense of my favorite character. It's true that the more I have thought about Lily over the years, the less I find myself liking her, but when I turn nasty and unreasonable, that's just me playing the fandom game.