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Associated Press

The Boss

What would the late George Steinbrenner be saying about his beloved New York Yankees?

The floundering Bronx Bombers take an 8-15 record into Baltimore and alarms are sounding far and wide for a punchless team that ranks 24th in runs scored and 23rd in both batting average and on-base percentage.

General manager Brian Cashman sent out warnings Monday, promising changes if the Yankees don't start turning things around.

But what would The Boss do? We came up with 12 possible scenarios that Steinbrenner might be contemplating if he was around.

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Fire Joe Girardi

You just know Joe Girardi would be feeling the Steinbrenner heat right about now, not that the manager is to blame for the current mess.

Steinbrenner burned through 19 managers from 1973 to 1990, not to mention 15 pitching coaches and 13 general managers.

Billy Martin alone was responsible for five of those hirings and firings.

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Call Alex Rodriguez 'Mr. July'

OK, we realize A-Rod has found his home-run swing, but he's batting a not-so-robust .203. Chances are Steinbrenner couldn't resist the chance to take pokes at his highest-paid celebrity ballplayer.

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Work a trade for Dellin Betances

Patience was never one of Steinbrenner's strong points, so we could see a complete meltdown after watching the fantastic young relief pitcher hang a couple of breaking balls for home runs.

Never mind that Betances has one of the nastiest curve-balls known to mankind -- and that the kid will be just fine.

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Put hitting coach Alan Cockrell on short notice

Cockrell seemed to be doing just fine as assistant hitting coach in 2015 when the Yankees were burning up the major leagues, but it's a case of What Have You Done For Me Lately?

The Boss might even try to steal Kevin Long (pictured) back from the Mets in a classic Steinbrenner example of 'You're Fired, You're Hired!'

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Try to steal Mike Trout from Angels

OK, it's a fantasy ... but we wouldn't put it past Steinbrenner to order Cashman to start working the phones to make it happen with the Angels.

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Try to steal Bryce Harper from the Nationals

Come to think of it, Harper and Trout would make a pretty good outfield combination at Yankee Stadium.

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Pull Chase Headley out during live play

If Billy Martin could embarrass Reggie Jackson on the field, why not Steinbrenner for a third baseman currently batting .156?

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Fire Brian Cashman

Sure, the Yankees are finally trying to follow a long-term blueprint which includes getting younger and less expensive, but do you think for a New York minute that Steinbrenner wouldn't be demanding immediate answers from his G.M.?

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Publically burn his copy of 'The Bronx Zoo'

Sparky Lyle's inside story on the 1978 World Champions is a must-read for any generation, and we could see The Boss pulling it out in an attempt to light a fire under his current crew. We could also see him placing a call to Goose Gossage (pictured) and trying to lure the 64-year-old Hall of Famer out of retirement.

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Order Didi Gregorius to take more batting practice

Something tells me that the talented, young replacement for iconic Derek Jeter wouldn't be getting a free pass from Steinbrenner. That robust .221 batting average would have The Boss in a not-so-understanding mood.

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Re-hire Joe Girardi

At around the All-Star break, Steinbrenner puts the Yankees back in the spotlight by dramatically re-hiring his former manager.

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Re-hire Brian Cashman

Right around the same time, The Boss brings Cashman back into the fold. And, of course, the Yankees win the World Series.