“SNL” head writer Seth Meyers spared no one in his star turn at the White House Correspondents Dinner, pivoting from jokes about the oddball crop of 2012 presidential contenders to members of Congress to President Barack Obama. He mocked the White House Correspondents Association itself, C-SPAN, the venue for the evening (the Washington Hilton) and the city of D.C.

Some of his best – and meanest – jokes:

“CSPAN is of course the official network for wide shots of empty chairs. … CSPAN is one unpaid electric bill away from being a radio station.”

“Sen. Jon Kyl told me 90 percent of what [the White House Correspondents Association] does is abortions.”

“You know how you know I’m not in New York? In New York, no one is excited to go to a Bloomberg party. In New York, a Bloomberg party is five people standing outside of a bar complaining about Bloomberg.”

“Katie [Couric] was known best for asking those tough questions, like ‘Name a newspaper.’”

“Jon Hamm looks the way every Republican thinks he looks. Zach Galifianakis looks the way every Republican thinks every Democrat looks.”

“Donald Trump has said he’s running for president as a Republican — which is surprising because I thought he was running as a joke. “

“Donald Trump owns the Miss USA pageant, which is great for Republicans because it will streamline their search for a vice president.”

To President Obama: “I’ll tell you who could beat you: 2008 Barack Obama. You would have loved him.”

To President Obama: “If your hair gets any whiter, the tea party is going to endorse it.”

On House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan: “He believes the American people have said loud and clear: Stop using my tax dollars to take care of me!”