555th episode of SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS script. Title: Patrick Star Becomes Enlightened. Characters in script:

SPONGEBOB, GARY, PATRICK, CIVILIAN FISH #, SQUIDWARD, SANDY, MR. KRABS, PLANKTON

START EPISODE

INT. PINEAPPLE

SPONGEBOB is seen sleeping in bed, right next to GARY, snoring very loudly. SPONGEBOB's alarm clock awakens SPONGEBOB. SPONGEBOB turns it off.

SPONGEBOB

Today's the big day, GARY!

GARY

Meow.

SPONGEBOB opens nearby window. Yells at the house of SQUIDWARD.

SPONGEBOB

Hey SQUIDWARD, don't forget the Great Fryoff!

SQUIDWARD

If you don't leave me alone, the only thing I'm going to be frying off is…

SPONGEBOB

Good luck!

SPONGEBOB closes window. SPONGEBOB puts on square pants, then looks in mirror.

SPONGEBOB

You got this, SPONGEBOB. You've been training for this moment for your entire career! This is where boys become men. This is where I become… the master frycook.

SPONGEBOB holds up spatula pulled from pants. It is raised in the air.

SPONGEBOB

You are ready, SPONGEBOB. You… are… READY!

SPONGEBOB exits PINEAPPLE. SPONGEBOB walks outside PATRICK's house. PATRICK is seen outside, staring at the sky.

SPONGEBOB

Hey Patrick! Are you ready for the Great Fryoff?

PATRICK looks at SPONGEBOB.

PATRICK

SPONGEBOB! Of course I am! … What's the Great Fryoff?

SPONGEBOB

A great event, held at the KRUSTY KRAB. It's the fifty fifth anniversary of the KRUSTY KRAB! MR. KRABS has been grateful to hold this very important event!

PATRICK

That sounds fun! I wish I could go…

SPONGEBOB

Of course you can come!

PATRICK

Wow! Maybe I'll learn how to be a great frycook, just like you!

SPONGEBOB

Don't kid yourself PATRICK. Come on, we're gonna be late!

SPONGEBOB and PATRICK travel to KRUSTY KRAB. CIVILIAN FISH 1 is seen at nearby bus stop.

CIVILIAN FISH 1

Hey, I recognize you! You're the frycook for the KRUSTY KRAB, yeah? Can I have an autograph?

PATRICK

Wow SPONGEBOB, you're so famous!

SPONGEBOB

Wow! Sure, citizen!

SPONGEBOB produces piece of paper. Writes down own name. Gives it to CIVILIAN FISH.

CIVILIAN FISH 1

Thanks!

PATRICK

Man, I wish I was famous. I would give out autographs to everyone! All fifty million fish of the sea will know my name!

SPONGEBOB

PATRICK, do you even know how to spell your name?

PATRICK

Uh…

CIVILIAN FISH 1

Listen here, whatever your name is, I know where you're coming from, but fame and fortune isn't something you can just grab. It's something you gotta be born with. You have to be born with the talent to claim your fame, like SPONGEBOB over here. You have to be born with the ability to do great.

SPONGEBOB

That is not true! PATRICK, don't listen to this debbie downer, you will be a great frycook, I know it. Maybe not as good as me, but a great one for sure.

PATRICK

Uh… yeah! I won't listen to you, meanie!

CIVILIAN FISH 1

Don't say I didn't warn ya.

INT. DONUT SHOP

SPONGEBOB and PATRICK arrive at a DONUT SHOP. CIVILIAN FISH 2 is seen at the counter, cleaning the desk.

SPONGEBOB

Excuse me, I'd like a couple of donuts. One for me, one for my friend.

PATRICK

Yeah! I want a donut!



The static comes out of PATRICK's mouth.

CIVILIAN FISH 2

Two donuts coming right up.

While PATRICK and SPONGEBOB wait for their donuts, CIVILIAN FISH 3 and CIVILIAN FISH 4 come up to SPONGEBOB.

CIVILIAN FISH 4

Hey! It's that chef guy!

SPONGEBOB

Hey, I'm not a chef, I'm a…

CIVILIAN FISH 3

Do the KRABBY PATTY trick you showed everyone a few days ago!

SPONGEBOB

Why certainly!

SPONGEBOB takes out his spatula. He takes his donut, and throws both the spatula and the donut in the air. Both fall into one of his holes. SPONGEBOB shakes his head violently. 5 perfectly cut donut pieces are shot out of multiple holes on SPONGEBOB's body.

CIVILIAN FISH 3

So cool!

PATRICK

Hey, I have a trick too!

Silence.

CIVILIAN FISH 4

Who is this guy?

PATRICK

See! Watch!

PATRICK proceeds to fall on his back. A small puff of static escapes from PATRICK's mouth.

Silence.

CIVILIAN FISH 4

Anyway, see ya later SPONGEBOB.

SPONGEBOB

You too!

PATRICK

SPONGEBOB, why are you so talented?

SPONGEBOB

Practice!

PATRICK

But every time I try to practice, I never get better.

SPONEGBOB

Well that just mea- oh barnacles! I have to go or I'll be late! Come on PATRICK!

PATRICK

But I never got my donut!

While PATRICK and SPONGEBOB are running, it begins to get darker. It is not night time.

INT. COUNTRY SIDE #3

SPONGEBOB and PATRICK are walking down the road, heading towards the KRUSTY KRAB.

PATRICK

You know what SPONGEBOB, you know what I think would be cool?

SPONGEBOB

Eternal dissociation?

PATRICK

Wh- nevermind. I was going to say, I want to be as great as you someday. No, even greater than you.

SPONGEBOB

Haha, that's a pretty good joke, PATRICK.

SPONGEBOB vomits out a golden trophy.

PATRICK

You have no idea how much I wanna get better! I wanna be famous! I wanna prove myself. I want everyone to know my name.

SPONGEBOB

You already said that.

PATRICK

Did I?

SPONGEBOB

Ye- PATRICK look!

In the distance there is a TREE that is set aflame. A lone snail is seen on the tree, trying to get away from the fire. CIVILIAN FISH 5 is seen crying at the bottom off the tree. The snail is content.

SPONGEBOB

We have to save the snail!

PATRICK

I'll sav-

Before PATRICK can say more, SPONGEBOB jumps to the tree and takes out his spatula. He chops the tree in half, causing it to fall. The snail screams and coughs on the smoke. The smoke is somehow bigger than before. SPONGEBOB than jumps and grabs the snail from the falling tree and jumps away. CIVILIAN FISH 5 weeps. The snail weeps even harder.

CIVILIAN FISH 5

Oh my, thank you… sob… so much hero!

SPONGEBOB

Just doing my duty as a good citizen!

PATRICK

Sigh… you must of practice a lot SPONGEBOB.

PATRICK, IN HEAD

How can I be better than him… no, at this point, how can I be LIKE him… hmmm…

Despite being cut down, the TREE is still on fire. The fire diminishes, but the smoke grows. The smoke continues to grow, and begins to fill the ocean.

INT. KRUSTY KRAB

SPONGEBOB and PATRICK arrive at KRUSTY KRAB. SQUIDWARD is seen outside, taking out a bag of trash.

SPONGEBOB

Hi SQUIDWARD, I-

SQUIDWARD

Don't wanna hear it.

PATRICK

Hi SQUIDWARD, I-

SQUIDWARD

What did I just say?

PATRICK, SQUIDWARD and SPONGEBOB enter KRUSTY KRAB. MR. KRABS is seen serving a customer a KRABBY PATTY. The customer coughs, and leaves the restaurant five seconds later, obviously satisfied.

MR. KRABS

SPONGEBOB, me boy, what took you so long? You're five minutes late!

PATRICK

Uh… how much time is that in hours?

SPONGEBOB

Sorry, MR. KRABS, I tried to get here as fast as I can. I even brought my special spatula for this special occasion! I'll serve so many KRABBY PATTIES and be paid nothing for it!

MR. KRABS

Oh ho ho, that's me boy. Get in the kitchen, it's starting soon.

SPONGEBOB

Aye aye sir!

SQUIDWARD turns around and attempts to leave KRUSTY KRAB. It is too late, MR. KRABS manages to catch him.

MR. KRABS

You too, Mr. SQUIDWARD.

SQUIDWARD sighs, and goes into the kitchen.

INT. KITCHEN

SPONGEBOB is getting ready for Great Fryoff. SQUIDWARD is in the corner reading MAGAZINE. PATRICK is staring at grill as it heats up. MR. KRABS is outside, talking to a crowd of people.

SPONGEBOB

…and this is a spatula!

PATRICK

Wow! Do I scratch my back with it?

MR. KRABS

Not now, Patrick. Ahem. Attention wallet- er I mean… loyal customers! Welcome to the fifth and last Great Fryoff!

SPONGEBOB

SQUIDWARD! Are you ready to flip a lot of KRABBY PATTYS?

The camera pans to the other side of the room.

SPONGEBOB

Aw, c'mon, don't feel that way. I brought PATRICK along!

PATRICK

Yeah!

The camera pans to the other side of the room.

SPONGEBOB

Aw c'mon, you don't have to ye-

The camera pans to the other side of the room.

SPONGEBOB

Of course PATRICK's gonna participate, SQUIDWARD! He wants to be the best frycook he can.

The camera pans to the other side of the room.

SPONGEBOB

Well, alright, see ya.

MR. KRABS grabs a microphone and goes to the cash register.

Cheering.

MR. KRABS

I will start the timer, and the first person to cook 100 KRABBY PATTYS becomes the MASTER FRYCOOK! You can have the KRABBY PATTYS but it'll cost you an extra… let's say 5 dollars.

PATRICK

Wow! Master Frycook! Can I eat it?

Silence.

MR. KRABS

On the count of 5, the Fryoff will begin.

PATRICK

That's my favorite number!

MR. KRABS

1.

MR. KRABS

2.

MR. KRABS

3.

MR. KRABS

4.

Silence.

MR. KRABS

5!

SPONGEBOB flips a KRABBY PATTY. The PATTY begins to cook. The smoke begins to come from the PATTY. The smoke is a little bigger than usual. The smoke from the burning TREE approaches and engulfs the KRUSTY KRAB.

PATRICK

I see…

Cheering.

The KRUSTY KRAB is consumed by the smoke. SPONGEBOB coughs. This continues for 555 SECONDS.

PATRICK

You know, SPONGEBOB, maybe the fish was right. Maybe I will never be a master frycook like you. Maybe I was born with no talent, no potential. I see a place where we are all equal underneath the degrading sky. Underneath its watchful eye. I will be as great as you. The smoke guarantees that.

Cheering.

INT. PINEAPPLE

SPONGEBOB is looking outside window. THE COSMIC STARFISH stares back at him. It covers the entire sky. Thousands of the fish walk towards it, disappearing in the distance.

SPONGEBOB

Where did it all go wrong, GARY? Why did PATRICK do that? He didn't…

GARY

Meow.

SPONGEBOB sighs. He continues to look at THE STARFISH UNDERNEATH UNDEFINED STARS, and then looks at his hand. FIVE fingers. He is supposed to have FOUR. SPONGEBOB is confused.

SPONGEBOB

Maybe this means… maybe he was right. Maybe this is for the best.

THE STARFISH OVER THE LOST OCEAN continues to get bigger. More and more fish disappear. SANDY is seen at very edge of the horizon. It is unknown what she is doing. SPONGEBOB knows. SPONGEBOB is enlightened.

SPONGEBOB

It's time for the journey. Be good for me GARY.

GARY is silent.

SPONGEBOB leaves his house, and begins running towards THE STARFISH BETWEEN AND UNDER TIME. With each step he takes it gets bigger. An eye is seen in the middle. It speaks to SPONGEBOB. He is promised equality.

SPONGEBOB disappears, like the other fish. The journey is almost over.

INT. KRUSTY KRAB

MR. KRABS is seen in OFFICE. VODKA is seen in MR. KRAB's left claw. CIGAR is in MR. KRAB's mouth. PLANKTON enters the OFFICE.

MR. KRABS

What now?

PLANKTON does not say anything.

MR. KRABS

Yes. The smoke is unbearable. THE STARFISH WITH THE IMMORTAL NAME is calling our names. And its pronouncing it incorrectly. That… PATRICK why…

PLANKTON takes KRABBY PATTY formula. MR. KRABS does not stop him. It does not matter.

MR. KRABS

I stare into space, and I see a tree. And on that tree, a single fruit. The branch holding that fruit is breaking. Withering. It will fall into the ground, and spill onto our reality. Underneath the tree, is a starfish. PATRICK… Yes… I know what I must do.

MR. KRABS puts out CIGAR and drinks rest of VODKA. He leaves the KRUSTY KRAB. THE STARFISH OVER NEW LAWS AND FAKE EMPERORS looks over him. Its eye glowing and staring. MR. KRABS sighs, and walks to the distance. Fading, fading away.

INT. SQUIDWARD'S HOUSE

A shot of SQUIDWARD's bedroom is seen. The soft sound of a clarinet is heard in the distance. Everything begins to gain its color.

SQUIDWARD, IN THE DISTANCE

…and to all a good night.

He has already moved on.

INT. PATRICK'S HOUSE

PATRICK'S house is all that remains.

A whirlwind of dust and dreams covers everything. The smoke begins to rise. PATRICK stares at the camera.

PATRICK

As I intended, we are all equal under the blinding star. The STARFISH YOU LOVE is staring. Can you see the five arms? I can. In its eye, we are all prime.

PATRICK is all that remains.

PATRICK walks into the distance. The smoke obscures the OCEAN. Light does not reach the OCEAN FLOOR. Square one.

THE COSMIC STARFISH is all that remains.