"In a sport where very few established stars are self-realized enough to not live and die by approval and rejection, Condit is an anomaly. His motivations are all his own. There is a feeling that he could disappear from public view at any time and be perfectly content.Should that day come to pass, it will be because Condit chose to do so."Those words were written following a morning spent with Carlos Condit over breakfast in Las Vegas . It was the morning after UFC 200 made its mark on the world,still six weeks out from Condit’s return against Demian Maia at UFC on Fox 21 in Vancouver.Sitting there in that moment, Condit had the same easy confidence about him I’d always seen, mixed with a gaze flashed from time to time that signaled something far off and uncertain. Those opposing facets cycled regularly until getting any type of exact read proved impossible.After all the time spent with Condit, I’ve come to understand this to be his natural setting.There was talk of retirement in the aftermath of his loss to Robbie Lawler at UFC 195, and that topic has come front and center once again following his defeat at the hands of Maia this past weekend at UFC on Fox 21. The biggest difference in the two scenarios is this time around, it’s the man himself leading the discussion.Coming out on the other side of a 25-minute, “fight for the ages” against Lawler, Condit seemed to find a sense of peace in knowing he’d created something everlasting. He may have come up short on his bid to stamp himself as the best welterweight on the planet, but the ferocity and measure of his performance was undeniable.Jan 2, 2016; Las Vegas, NV, USA; Robbie Lawler (red gloves) competes against Carlos Condit (blue gloves) during UFC 195 at MGM Grand Garden Arena. Mandatory Credit: Joshua Dahl-USA TODAY SportsTalk of titles gave way to the notion of immortality, and Condit has always been drawn to things difficult to define. After being forced to tap against Maia, the romance that existed after UFC 195 had been completely stripped away. It was just a former champion and a microphone in front of the press, trying to make sense of things in a sport that can take everything if allowed.His words were poignant and gripping."I don't know man. I'm not sure I have any business fighting at this level anymore," Condit said at the post-fight press conference for UFC on Fox 21. I've been at this for a really long time and had the pressure of being one of the top guys for almost a decade. It's been awesome to be involved in the sport at the time I have and get to do what I love for a living, but I don't know man. I don't know if I belong here anymore. We'll see."Condit has always been one of the more outspoken fighters when it comes to the role fear plays in his approach to combat. Where some fighters attempt to mask the sensation in hope of creating a more macho presentation, Condit has never been the type to suffer foolishness.He knows what he feels and why it’s there, and his recognition of strong impulses has allowed for some of the most destructive finishes in welterweight history to unfold.May 30, 2015; Goiania, GO, Brazil; Carlos Condit reacts during his fight against Thiago Alves during UFC Fight Night at Goiania Arena. Mandatory Credit: Jason Silva-USA TODAY Sports“This isn’t (expletive) racquetball we are playing out there,” Condit told MMAJunkie.com back in 2015. “It’s blood for blood. Can I go out there and end you before you get the chance to do that to me? I know people talk about gladiator mentalities, but fighting is something we are wired to avoid and just so happens to come naturally to me.”What happens when The Natural Born Killer no longer craves blood?Condit described a “panicked” moment when Maia landed a solid shot early in the fight, which could have very well been the catalyst to how things would ultimately end. For a fighter who has relied on his instincts to get him through the craziest of conflicts, having those same tendencies switch gears in the fray would be jarring.And if there’s one thing I’ve picked up from working with Condit over the past few years, it’s just how in tune he is with the harsh realities of the fight game. Where others get caught up in the spotlight and fame that comes with being one of the best fighters in the world, the Albuquerque native always remained grounded in that sense.Nov 17, 2012; Montreal, QC, Canada; Georges St-Pierre fights Carlos Condit during their Welterweight title bout at UFC 154 at the Bell Centre. Mandatory Credit: Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY SportsHe knows there is a limited window to give the best he has to offer. That scale becomes even more narrowed when Condit’s personal measure of success is taken into account.Simply winning has never been at the crux of the journey. It’s personal growth and experience in a realm where most couldn’t travel that has pushed him forward for more than a decade.“There has to be a balance between light and dark, and sometimes the scales tip heavily in one direction for me,” Condit told MMAJunkie. “I have the type of brain where I can have two totally opposing views floating around up there and I can analyze the elements I dig and disregard what I don’t. I’m kind of weird like that. I take some type of strange pleasure in finding out more about myself in those situations. You could say I revel in the duality.”Should UFC on Fox 21 signal the final time we get to see Condit fight, it will surely be bittersweet because as fans of the sport and our love of full-throttled ruckus is what keeps us coming back. And when there are fighters who are all but guaranteed to bring that visceral experience every time their names are on the ticket, well, that’s where the bond is formed between fighter and fan.Yet, when we look beyond the cage and see the price paid set against a bright future, it all becomes a bit hazy. I’ve been fortunate enough to see firsthand just how much Condit has going for him beyond all of the chaos, but there is an ingrained love of this thing that keeps him connected to fighting on a deeper level.February 4, 2012; Las Vegas, NV, USA; UFC fighter Carlos Condit (left) fights against Nick Diaz (right) during UFC 143 at the Mandalay Bay Events Center. Carlos Codit defeated Nick Diaz. Mandatory Credit: Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY SportsThe process of it all is his passion, and the ability to unleash his physical and mental creativity in one frenetic burst his form of expression. It’s been a salvation of sorts, as he found mixed martial arts when things in his life had long since drifted into chaos. Fighting has been an anchor in the storm, just as much as it’s been waves that have battered the boat.A blessing and a curse in the poetic sense, and this is where the romance of fighting returns.If Condit walks away from mixed martial arts to invest himself in other pursuits, the memory of what he gave us will endure. The sacrifices and the nights he pushed himself beyond the point where even he himself knew he could go will be something people talk about for years to come. Will things sting a bit in the aftermath of the bout against Maia? Absolutely. It’s called a passionate following for a reason. But seasons change and what was given and the connection made is what will be remembered.Five years ago, following his victory over Dan Hardy in Milwaukee, I sat with a freshly retired Chris Lytle. Much like Condit, Lytle had been a fighter who gave it all every time he stepped into the cage, and on that night in Wisconsin, he put on a performance that not only earned him the victory, but also yielded double performance bonus checks, making it the most lucrative fight of his career.Therefore, sitting at the highest point of achievement, Lytle had decided not to continue on as a fighter, and naturally I had some questions. The Indiana native had been a straightforward thinker the entire time I’d known him, and sitting there at dinner, he didn’t disappoint.“This game is a rough one where nobody ever really wins,” Lytle said. “You have to be able to leave the game before the game leaves you.”Aug 27, 2016; Vancouver, BC, Canada; Demain Maia (red gloves) competes against Carlos Condit (blue gloves) during UFC Fight Night at Rogers Arena. Mandatory Credit: Anne-Marie Sorvin-USA TODAY SportsHe would go on to repeat this creed several times over the next few years, but it’s a reality I believe Condit has come to grips with, too. While the fire will always burn in some form, is the will to fight and compete truly worth it? Can that passion be funneled into something else, and if so, what?Condit is an enigma by the very definition of the word, but if there is one thing I’ve learned about the former WEC and interim UFC welterweight champion it’s that he’s always been several steps ahead.Whatever Condit does will get 100 percent of what he has to give, and that will make his next move--whatever that may be--worth paying attention to.