This article is more than 1 year old

This article is more than 1 year old

Late-night hosts took apart the FBI’s brief investigation into supreme court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, saying it lasted “half a Scaramucci”.

Stephen Colbert

On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert discussed the week-long investigation, the results of which have just been released to senators. “Before the FBI investigation, both sides were confused and angry,” he said. “Now both sides are confused and furious.”

The White House released a positive statement at 2.30am, a time “typically when you release your drunkest tweets”.

The report is being kept under lock and key, only able to be seen by a select few. “I would say they’re treating this report like the nuclear launch codes but then I remember, they have given the launch codes to an idiot,” he joked.

Many of the potential interviewees weren’t contacted by the FBI, leading many to question the report’s worth. “Democrats would say the report is lacking in report,” he said.

Included in the group of people not interviewed is Kavanaugh himself and his accuser Dr Christine Blasey Ford. “That’s like investigating an arson and saying we’re not really looking into the fire part,” he said.

Colbert continued: “I’ve had more thorough investigations to find my AirPods.”

Trevor Noah

The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) You can’t say the FBI investigation into Kavanaugh wasn’t thorough. It lasted half a Scaramucci! pic.twitter.com/pj4dX4VxXc

On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah also brought up his concerns over the report. “I don’t know if we can call a five-day investigation sufficient,” he said. “Although I get why the White House thinks it is. They’ve never spend five consecutive days on anything.”

He joked that it “lasted half a Scaramucci”.

Noah then spoke about the unimportance of its quality. “It doesn’t matter that this investigation was thorough,” he said. “What matters is that it gives these moderate Republicans the cover they need to vote yes.”

He continued: “Basically Mitch McConnell conducted this process the same way a parent checks under their kid’s bed for monsters.”

Ultimately, he doesn’t think that anything can stop Kavanaugh now. “I’m an optimist but it doesn’t seem like there’s much anybody can do besides wait and see,” he said. “We might as well go out and get drunk like Brett Kavanaugh and try to forget that this ever happened like Brett Kavanaugh.”

Seth Meyers

On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host replayed clips from the past week, including Trump’s assertion that he would be a bad drunk. “You already scream and yell and slur your words like a stumbling drunk,” he joked.

He moved on to the FBI investigation which he also found concerning. “They really went over this thing with a no-toothed comb,” he said.

Reportedly, one potential character witness tried to contact the FBI directly but had to settle for their web portal. “No one should ever have to log on to the FBI’s web portal,” he said. “You shouldn’t have to contact the FBI the same way I pay my dentist.”

He also detailed how many shortcuts the FBI reportedly took in its reporting. “You guys are like treasure hunters who decided to call it quits before you flipped over the map,” he said.