(Ed. Note: As the Stanley Cup Playoffs continue, we're bound to lose some friends along the journey. We've asked for these losers, gone but not forgotten, to be eulogized by the people who knew the teams best: The bloggers and fans who hated them the most. Here are Brad Lee and Laura Astorian from the St. Louis Blues blog St. Louis Game Time, fondly recalling the 2014-15 Minnesota Wild. Again, this was not written by us. Also: This is a roast and you will be offended by it, so don't take it so seriously.)

By St. Louis Game Time

Here's a look back at the Minnesota Wild's season; or, as it's also known ...

The Devil and Devan Dubnyk

It is the last few minutes of Jan. 13, 2015. The setting is a late night diner in suburban Phoenix, Ariz. Goaltender Devan Dubnyk is alone and in an obviously a sour mood after allowing three goals on just 25 shots in a loss to the visiting San Jose Sharks. He blankly stares at his coffee hoping some answer will magically appear. At that moment he decides that it’s now or never to take a chance and turn his career around. Just then, a dark and mysterious figure walks in. There’s the faint smell of Sulphur and brimstone. This figure is Satan.

Satan: Devan! So good to meet you in person after trading some emails. Some folks used to know me as Norman Green, but my name is Beelzebub. But you can call me Bob. Why so down? This is the first day of the rest of your human life! This is the turning point, bro. From this moment, it’s all going to change.

Dubnyk: Hi. I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you. I mean, I’m a good person. I try to be, anyway.

Satan: It’s not about being a good person, Dub. Get used to hearing that, by the way. Dubbbbbb. It’s going to catch on like wildfire. But forget about whether or not you’re a good person. It’s all about being a good goaltender. And you’re not, my man.

Dubnyk: Hey. Watch it, Bob. I’m still smarting over this loss tonight. And besides, I’m 9-5-2 with the freaking Coyotes. This team wasn’t built to win, it was built to contend for a good draft pick next year. Yet I’m still stopping more than 91 percent of the shots I’m facing. I’ve turned it around.

Satan: Call that just a taste. You think you did that on your own? The Edmonton Oilers have been looking for a franchise goaltender for a couple decades. They gave up on you. Your record your last season there was 11-17-2. Your goals-against average was 3.36. You couldn’t even hold down the backup job in Nashville where they expect next to nothing out of the second guy there. But that’s when I saw your potential. So I gave you a little taste of what I can do for you. Call it the Bob Bump. I sprinkle a little dark fairy dust, and BAM, you start playing like a true No. 1 NHL goalie. You like how you’ve felt so far this season? I can make it a reality for the rest of your career for the low, low payment of your everlasting soul. I’ve got some testimonials. You want to hear from some Red Wings, Yankees or Patriots? They’ll tell you what it’s like.

Dubnyk: That sounds drastic.

Satan: It’s just your soul, bro. Are you really even using it right now? Put it to work for you!

Dubnyk: Does that mean I’ll burn in Hell for eternity?

Satan: Fun fact: the average temperature in hell is lower than Phoenix. Tell you what I’m going to do, bro. I’m going to give you a bigger taste. We’ll call it rent to own. You sign over your soul for the rest of the regular season and you don’t have to commit beyond then. We’ll take your soul, put it in this velvet-lined box. You don’t like the results, you take it back, untorn and still mostly white as snow. You see what I can do for you and you’ll change your mind, I promise, bro.

Dubnyk: No risk? No strings?

Satan: I’m the Prince of Darkness! Trust me!

Dubnyk: I’m tired of losing. Let’s do it. Where do I sign…

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