PC Simon Harwood excited by calls for British police to be armed

Amid growing calls for British police to be armed in the wake of the tragic murder of two Manchester WPCs, PC Simon Harwood has insisted that carrying a loaded weapon sounds like a wonderful idea.

Criminal experts have claimed that the best way to prevent a growing number of gun crimes on our streets is to drastically increase the number of guns on the streets.

Professor Simon Williams explained, “To address the growing issue of gun crime in this country we need to take steps now.”

“For every well-armed lunatic criminal with violent tendencies, we should have an equally unstable police officer with at least equal armoury.”

“I’ve seen enough movies to know that the only people harmed in these public gun fights are the criminals themselves and the odd flesh wound for a sassy detective with clear disdain for authority figures.”

Armed police

PC Simon Harwood expressed his delight at the calls for gun carrying police officers, insisting he would never have had to push Ian Tomlinson if he’d had a gun to point at him instead.

He told reporters, “Guns for police on the street is probably the best idea I’ve ever heard. For a start it would mean I’d still have my job, definitely.”

“Look at the size of me, would you sack me if I had a gun in my hand?”

“No, I didn’t think so.”