“I’m not sure I understand,” Pearl watched from the couch as Steven made another trip up the stairs, rummaged under his bed, and then came back down with an armful of old clothes. “What exactly is the point of dressing up for All Hallows Eve?”

“Halloween, Pearl. And the point is candy. Candy is the point of everything. Always.” Steven dumped his clothes onto the growing pile on the coffee table. “Where are the scissors?”

She watched as he began looting the crawl space under the stairs. So much disorder, all her organization gone to ruin. It was going to take her most of the night to put the house back together after Steven’s sacking. “And pretending to be something else…gets you candy? This just doesn’t sound logical. Or particularly safe.” Her head sank into her hand. She had never fully grasped most of the human holidays, All Hallow’s Eve least of all. It baffled her why parents would let their children consume unhealthy food given to them by strangers, but she had never worried much about it, even when Steven was younger. He had never even wanted to go on the Halloween trickery and treat hunt until this year.

Outside, the sun was almost finished setting beneath the water. Beach City’s street lamps, the ones visible from this side of the cliff, were glowing like fireflies in the dusk. Pearl watched the ocean caress the beach, recede, and return to it like a faithful lover. Lapis Lazuli was still down there. She never really stopped thinking about it, but tonight that thought chilled her more than usual. The humans believed magic became stronger on this night. The last thing she was was superstitious, but all the same Pearl felt goose bumps raise on her forearms. What if tonight was the night Jasper broke free, and she wasn’t with Steven to protect him? What if another corrupted gem showed up? Worse, what if Greg showed up and Steven wasn’t here to distract him?

“Pearl?” A warm hand touched her shoulder. Pearl glanced up through her fingers at Steven.

“Sorry Steven, it’s…it’s nothing.” Pearl allowed herself to sink into the couch cushion. She may have the endurance to stand for days at a time, but furniture, she had learned, was a lovely thing. “Are you sure you don’t want me to accompany you? I could walk behind you, I promise I won’t bother you and Connie-“

“Pearl,” Steven said again, his face straight and serious. “I can do this, I promise. Now, can you help me find a good candy bucket?”

She looked at him for a moment. He really wasn’t going to let her come. “I washed out an empty container of your ice cream the other night. It should still be in the recycling.”

“Cool!” He scooped up a handful of his clothes and ran back up the stairs. “Connie should be here soon. I’m going to go change, close your eyes until I come back out!”

“I will,” she said. Even though he couldn’t see, she closed her eyes and the world went dark. Having her eyes closed reminded her of Steven’s slumber party and dreaming, and of him dreaming of Lapis. Maybe if his mind could connect to Lapis’, hers could as well. She had never actually heard of a gem ability like that. Maybe it was another secret Rose had never told her.

A cricket began its nighttime song on the porch, and soon hundreds of others had joined in. Pearl tried to listen to them, and the lapping of the waves on the sand, to think of Lapis and to fall asleep and dream of her. All she could see in her head, though, was Rose. Every day Steven became more and more like her. Rose had always had a strong will; once she got it in her head she was going to do something, nobody could tell her otherwise. Pearl remembered when Steven used to accept her advice unquestioningly, when he had worried more about her being worried about him. She smiled bitterly. Maybe Rose had been less worried about Pearl than she had thought, too. Wasn’t Steven’s existence proof of that?

No. She was not, refused to think that way. She was never going to blame Rose’s death on Steven. She had promised herself and she wasn’t about to break that oath.

However, oaths didn’t make her miss Rose any less. Steven was acting more like her, but he also looked like her. Maybe not at first glance, but in the little things. In the way he smiled, in the gentle way he went about his life. He had her laugh, her hands, her nose, her gem.

She startled herself when she felt the tear slipping down her cheek. Sniffing, she wiped it away. It was stupid of her to get upset over something like Steven growing up. Human mothers probably never wept over their children. She would be strong. Strong for Steven, and for Rose.

Pearl heard the screen door swing open. “Steven? I’m here-oh, hey Pearl.”

“Steven’s changing in his loft, I was told not to look.”

“Okay, one sec. Steven! Are you done?”

There was the sound of several pairs of legs running up and down the stairs, of Connie and Steven talking together in a low whisper. Connie’s giggle, and then Steven’s too, and then a flash of light that Pearl could see even through her eyelids. Several minutes went by in silence, and then footsteps on the stairs again, but they sounded…heavier, different than Steven’s.

“Pearl? You can…you can look now.”

Slowly, she opened her eyes, and sucked in a cold breath of air. An electric shock traveled down her spine, and for a moment the world spun in complicated patterns around her. Oh, Rose. She had thought she knew what missing her was like before, but this…

“Are you…okay?” Stevonnie’s eyebrows bunched together in the middle of their forehead.

“Pearl?”

“I…I’m…” Pearl tried to get words out, but they were sticking in her throat.

“Are you sure this was a good idea? I thought so. I thought-“

“No, it’s…it’s…it’s okay.” Pearl couldn’t stop staring. Her brain knew that Connie and Steven, Stevonnie now, stood before her, but the awful ache in her chest was yelling otherwise. The kids had dyed their hair the color of bubblegum and teased it into massive curls that spilled over their shoulders and down their chest like a waterfall. A white strapless dress hugged their body, complete with a star-shaped hole cut in the center to let their gem show through. Another tear was making its way down Pearl’s cheek, but she wiped it away as quickly as she could. Blood pounded in her ears. The closer she looked, the more flaws she found in their costume, but all the same Stevonnie had filled the room with their presence the same way Rose had. It was as if the house was a whirlpool and Stevonnie stood in the center, pulling Pearl closer, closer. “You look wonderful.”

“Are you sure it’s okay? W-I wanted it to be a surprise, but I didn’t think that-I thought...you’re crying.“ Stevonnie sat on the couch next to Pearl, their pink curls touching her own shoulder. It was uncanny how much different this felt, and how same.

“It’s perfect.” Pearl looked over at Stevonnie and put a hand on their wrist. Her eyes were shining with tears; she could feel them brimming over again. “Thank you.” And then without thinking, she rested her head on their shoulder. For just a little while, Pearl let herself dream. To take in their scent, the feel of being embraced by the pink hair, the warm, soft body. She could feel the panic rising inside her stomach like an angry beast, but she pushed it down. With her eyes half open, her head drifting off, it was almost like it had been.

Maybe the humans were right, she thought. Maybe Halloween did hold some magic. Maybe tonight, Malachite would break free. Maybe Peridot would resurface, or Homeworld arrive again in force.

But maybe, just maybe she could allow herself to feel pain and to be glad for it. Maybe she could be with Rose again, and at the same time be with Steven. Maybe she could have them both, even if it was only for a fraction of a second. Steven couldn’t have known what this would have meant to her, but she didn’t care. For once, all the thoughts went out of her head, and she didn’t care.

“Go have a good time tonight,” she said into their shoulder, and then drew away. Out of that moment, away from the past, maybe forever. She looked at Stevonnie. Their eyes were shining too. “and make sure to bring back some candy for Amethyst.”

“Thank you.” Stevonnie hugged her again, just a quick one this time, and then stood, grabbing their ice cream bucket as they did. “I’ll be back before midnight, I promise.”

Pearl watched them go out, forgetting to let the screen door not slam shut like Steven always did. Their pink hair sank beneath the porch as they went down the stairs just like the sun had sank beneath the ocean’s horizon. The calls of human children drifted over the hill from Beach City. Her eyes fell on a bowl sitting on the coffee table, filled with little bright pieces of artificial sugar and syrup. Candy. Pearl leaned forward and tugged the note that was taped to its side off, and smiled to herself. They were for her to give to the children when they came asking. Malted milk pearls.