A box arrived. The box was opened. Inside this veritable bastion of well-sealed cardboard were two packages and a card.

The card queried me in several ways, and confirmed that I indeed do not lift. However, the promises made therein of becoming the manliest of men led me to both laughter and intrigue.

Moving forwards, I delved into the packaging further, and was granted the presents of a set of wooden dumb-bells for my rats and a mini helicopter for me!

Thanks to my Santa, you are an awesome person!