Yesterday. 10:00 a.m. or so.

Freek: Mornin boss

EDSBS: Mornin. Site's fucked. Like, maybe forever.

Freek: you gonna kill yourself

EDSBS: maybe. or maybe we can just make some hairswaps because there's nothing else to do

Freek: on it. theme?

EDSBS: rivalries would work.

Freek: gimme a sec

Freek makes all of these in 15 minutes.

Charlie Weis looks like the Skipper from Gilligan's Island. If Butch Jones wants to know what he's going to look like in 30 years, well: you're going to look exactly like Bill Snyder with Charlie Weis' haircut, that's what.

Whittingham with blonde hair becomes Ron Gruden, Jon's sketchy younger brother who runs a payday loans business and has a boat he can't afford.

This really doesn't change much, though the upgrade in Rich Rod's used car dealer rating is proof that putting a little bit of Todd Graham on anything makes said thing instantly 100% more hucksterish-looking.

There is no describing what happens to Bob Stoops here outside of saying that he looks like a Central Asian televangelist. We don't even know what that means, but it's as close as we could get without invoking the terrible words "Tom Hammond."

Paul Chryst has utterly lost his shit here.

Lane Kiffin: the surliest Mr. Potato Head ever. Shaw, meanwhile, is raving about how his hair looks so realistic he can dive into a pool without anyone suspecting the truth about his new coiffure.

SENATOR HOKE (ca. somewhere in 1938 America.) Antibiotics haven't been able to kill whatever is growing on the Ohio State coach's head yet, but debridement and skin grafts have managed to keep it at bay.

Never really noticed how Mark Richt has a Giant Atlas Moth on the crown of his head, but now that we have we will never unsee it.

Not that Gus Malzahn doesn't already look enough like an amnestied, brilliant, and slightly terrifying Nazi rocket scientist quietly working in the hills surrounding Huntsville, but yes: give him Nick Saban's hair, and he now has a fully functional V-2 just sitting in his garage. Nick Saban is so much a part of his own system that even switched hairstyles begin to look like he had them all along.

Mark May: surly lunchlady. He worked hard on that Turkey Tetrazzini. YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BASTARDS DON'T KNOW HOW HARD MARK MAY WORKS TO FEED YOU EVERY DAY.