Haze Frog, a Eulogy, a Reminiscing on a Glorious History

Posted on Sept. 23, 2011, 12:11 a.m. by m a s t e r p e e z

So, the day has come. Tomorrow, Haze Frog will be played in a standard FNM for the very last time. I'm not sure what to say... so many convoluted feelings in my head. At times, I am scared. What will I do without my sole companion? While I will miss the proud demeanor, the mighty game-sweeping might, that left the cries of cringing, defeated enemies at his feet, it was his subtle wisdom that I will truly miss, that will have me weeping over a twelve pack of beers tomorrow.

But enough moroseness! I've had some great times with the frog. Together, we conquered heights that others said could never be climbed. Haze Frog spits on fools is where I first encountered my little, green friend. I have to admit, even I somewhat doubted the potential that could be found in such a seemingly weak card. But it didn't take long for me to see that what we were starting was more than just a pipe dream, we were setting a new precedent for the way Magic the Gathering is viewed and played.

The next major breakthrough came with Haze Frog enjoys a smoothie. It was the turn of the century, when Scars of Mirrodin showed its head, people got scared and turned to turbo-fog, some legend unheard of, and it began winning games. I took the core concept, and allowed Haze Frog to take the driver seat this time, in a format properly known as the haze-fog format (Or turbo-frog, depending on district). I couldn't begin to even count the number of defeated decks. People quickly began to fear the name Haze Frog . Whenever I sat down and pulled out Haze Frog enjoys a smoothie, the douchebags with their winning hats and their 5-color sports drinks backed away and backed out of FNM nights all together.

But then things started to change, caw blade came out of nowhere, began stretching its wings, and roaring at the feeble-minded. I was again lost for a while. Haze Frog became, once again, legend...until one day when I was bored at the ole magic shop. I decide it would be fun to throw together some sort of deck that was entirely based off of creatures with enters-the-battlefield abilities, in affect, 2 for 1s. It would use Mimic Vat as the engine, and the main driving force would be, of course, Haze Frog . It would be green and white, which at the time was a terrible idea because the swords being used all had protection from green, but I didn't care. I threw it together and played a game against a caw blade deck, and surprisingly, I won. I began playing at FNMS. Every record was better then the last. Every game seemed to infuriate the opponent because I was winning with cards such as Sylvan Ranger , Lone Missionary , and, of course, the mythical Haze Frog .

The climax came when I ran the deck at an FNM that I thought we didnt have a chance at doing well. It was mostly monstrously, fast red decks, played by some of the greatest magic-playing minds. I know for a fact that there was nothing about my game-play that somehow magically outsmarted these elite players. The deck did all the work. I won round after round. Some of these players had no idea that Haze Frog even existed. They did after that night. To the fury of the usual winners, we took first place at that FNM. Haze Frog took first place, and there was a certain rightness in the plane, a justice, everything had looked the same at those FNMs, until all of a sudden, out of the blue, Haze Frog took his rightful place.

I get the shivers thinking about those times. It was unreal what we went through together back then. Im almost afraid to pull the deck back out to try again for one last time. Im sure this old deck wont stand a match against the new clever bells and whistles the kids are running around with now, but its not about that. Whoever said magic is all about winning? I say magic is all about winning WELL. Oh, big surprise, the same three swords are the easiest way to win an FNM. Everyone is in such a hurry these days: phoning, smoking, driving, appointing, and deckbuilding. Everyone is under the mindset of, I want to feel good and I want it now. But tomorrow, Haze Frog will pass on his crown. The frog will haze tomorrow like never before, and after that, never again.

There have been times that I wondered what the world would look like without Haze Frog , but Im not worried anymore. The world needed Haze Frog , and Haze Frog did his job. He chased the monster out of town; he kicked the big bully of the playground. Sure the monster will be sneaking back, but in Haze Frog s exit, there is a space for a new hero to take up the rusty sword and ram it down that monsters throat.

Haze Frog , you have been a brother, a hero, a lover, a teacher, a poet, and a friend to so many people. You will always be remembered for your ability to speak with words of silence. In time, the world will see that you truly were worthy of far more respect than was given during your time. I know that your soul will forever hop freely in the ether planes.

Yours sincerely,

Masterpeez