Savage Love Letter of the Day: My Coworker Is Vetting Sugar Daddies!

My question is more of a workplace ethics question but I really didn't know who else to ask. I work in a high end spa and I had noticed some strange, flirty behavior between my coworker and older men who were coming in for fitness memberships at our spa. I put it aside because it's none of my business. But recently, after a couple drinks at a work-related event, this coworker told me she invites men she meets through seekingarrangement.com to come in, take a tour, and sign up for memberships at our spa. She said it's good way to first meet them and then they work out the arrangement later, outside of work, if they want to go forward. Essentially she is using work to screen potential sugar daddies on work time, all while selling memberships. Sponsored Protectly.co has USA Made N95 masks in stock! Plus NIOSH respirators, surgical masks, gloves, goggles, 3M half-face respirators and more. www.protectly.co Is this something I can/should take to HR? It seems to be a conflict of interest and like it may even violate some of the policies we have about employee/vendor relationships. Mostly it just makes me uncomfortable and I wish this coworker would use her work time to work, not find sugar daddies. She's only been with the company a few months. This coworker has been written up for other issues of and overall poor work performance which increases my concern about these sugar daddies being a distraction. That Ain't Right, Right?

You noticed some flirty behavior between your coworker and older men, TARR, but it doesn't sound like these interactions made you feel uncomfortable until your coworker foolishly confided in you about her scheme... a scheme that benefits both her (she gets to vet potential sugar daddies) and your employer (the company is profiting from the memberships she's selling to her wannabe sugar daddies).

If the only thing really bothering you about these men is the knowledge you've recently acquired—if no one, including your coworker, has done anything to make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe in your workplace—then your concerns smack of sexphobia and whorephobia. So I would advise you to mind your own business.

And you can rest somewhat assured: Men on sites like seekingarrangement.com aren't sex-crazed maniacs; most are wealthy and/or professional guys looking for something and someone discreet. They're unlikely to make passes at your spa's female staff at any greater rate than other male members—hell, the guys from Seeking Arrangements may be less likely to make passes at female staffers than a random sampling of your spa's typical male clients.

Another reason to stay out of it: It sounds like your coworker is on her way out. She's either gonna get fired for some other reason—poor performance, another writeup—or she's going to finally land a sugar daddy and quit.