EL SEGUNDO, CA—Mattel announced a new "Fashionista" lineup of modernized Ken dolls today, featuring 15 additions that each have a different look designed to appeal to the current generation of fans.

One such Ken sports the highly controversial "man-bun" and a blue patterned shirt that he undoubtedly purchased from Urban Outfitters as a treat for going to hot broga.

Of particular note is the sophisticated mp3 technology embedded in Man-Bun Ken. Special sensors deep within the doll are able to detect when a female voice is speaking. Within nanoseconds of detection, Man-Bun Ken will interrupt with breathless urgency to extoll the many virtues of his new kombucha podcast.

"He'll start with the basics – what is a podcast, how does podcasting work," explains Mattel spokeswoman Janet Klein. "Then abruptly, he brings up his kombucha home brew kit, and how 'whippin' up some 'butche' really helped pull him out of his slump after Coachella ended. And then he gets into the moment of clarity, his new life's purpose, and blah blah blah."

"All told, Ken talks for about forty minutes," Klein says.

Darryl Reese, the sound engineer who worked on the mechanics of Man-Bun Ken, says that if the doll detects any kind of pushback or response from a female voice, it will begin shrieking a long list of increasingly hysterical pre-programmed statements, such as "Baby, I'd love a little credit for being a male feminist" and "Canada could really learn a thing or two from Sweden when it comes to organic beard oil" and "Damn it, I think I left my banjo at the Arcade Fire sing-a-long I went to last week in an abandoned shipping container."

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