MOUNT OLIVE — Dylan tried to be true to his given gender and name. He'd been born female, but thought of himself as male, and struggled with the disparity. The now-16-year-old sophomore at Mount Olive High School fought a constant mental tug-of-war.

Last September, Dylan finally embraced who he felt in his mind he is -- even though his anatomy didn't coincide. He asked all his teachers to start referring to him as Dylan instead of his female name, listed on the school's roster name. He came out as a transgender teen.

"For the longest time, I felt something was wrong but I just didn't know what it was," Dylan said. "My entire life growing up my best friend was a guy. I hung out with guys. I dressed like guys. I acted like guys.

"It's hard for people to understand. My brain thinks one thing, but I was born with this body. It just doesn't match. It makes you wonder, 'Why did this happen? How your mind can be totally different from what you were born as.' In middle school, I tried to adjust to what society wanted me to look like. Then, halfway through my freshman year in high school, I decided I was just going to be myself."

Dylan is one of three transgender teens at Mount Olive High School who recently sat down with NJ Advance Media to share their journeys. Only one agreed to give her last name. None wanted to provide their given names.

Bruce Jenner, others in the news

The three trans students are coming to grips with their gender identity. They're not alone. Trans life saw worldwide attention when former Olympian Bruce Jenner came out as a trans woman. The Amazon comedy Transparent, about an older father coming out as a trans woman, has won accolades. And the Oxford English Dictionary is considering adding the gender-neutral title of "Mx" to the mainstream honorifics "Mr, Mrs and Miss," according to a recent report on DailyMail.com.

"I was so happy with the Bruce Jenner interview and the resulting media attention," said Dr. Khadija Ibeh, an Edison-based psychiatrist. "It made people feel a bit more comfortable with the transgender population."

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N.J. transgender teen begins to transition in a complex world

Transgender individuals are those whose gender identity doesn't match their anatomy at birth -- a transgender person can in some cases be someone who's had a sex change.

"At first, I thought it was a thing where I was just one of the guys," said Matt, a 16-year-old junior at Mount Olive High School who was born a female but presents as a male. "About a year or so ago, I decided, 'Nope, I'm not one of the guys, I am a guy.' You feel trapped in your body.

"It's such a weird feeling. I read an article on transgender people and I was like, 'Oh my God! That's me.' It hit me really hard. I was in denial for months. I've come to realize it's okay to break society's norms. That was a huge thing in holding me back from discovering who I was."

Not a conscious choice

Danielle Kulawiak, the faculty adviser for the Mount Olive Gay Straight Alliance Club, is helping the teens navigate through their high school years. The club, started by Kulawiak in 2006, has approximately 30 members, many of whom are straight and have more conventional gender identities.

"I think the biggest misconception about trans students is people think these students are making a conscious choice, that someone woke up one morning and decided they were going to throw on a dress or something," Kulawiak said. "There's a big difference between these students and a drag queen like RuPaul. For them, it's not a costume. I see the struggle. I see the pain. No one would chose this."

Another misconception, Ibeh said, is that transgender individuals are necessarily homosexuals.

"Just because people are born into the wrong body it doesn't mean they're homosexuals," she said. "They are two completely distinct issues."

NJ Advance Media contacted over a half-dozen high schools in Somerset and Morris Counties and almost all had support groups for LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, straight, bisexual, trans, questioning) students trying to come to grips with who they are.

"We can always talk to Mrs. K," said Matt. "The GSA is great. Basically, most of my friends are accepting. Those who aren't, I don't need them."

'Now what do I do?'

Alex S. Strauss, a Marlton-based psychiatrist, said the two biggest issues he sees facing transgender teens are those individuals coming to realize their gender identity and then communicating it to their family and friends.

"After deciding they are the other gender, teens face the question of, 'Now what do I do?'" Strauss said. "How does transitioning affect their appearance, how does it affect their relationships with other people? That can result in things like depression and anxiety. You see it in people who commit suicide. Adolescence is a tough time as it is."

Bullying has largely moved from the playgrounds and school hallways to the Internet for those who are different. Adina Kohn, a 17-year-old junior at Mount Olive High School who was born a male but presents as a female, recalled an incident on Facebook that ultimately influenced her decision to transfer from Shepard Preparatory High School in Morristown to Mount Olive High School early in the school year.

The posting, last summer, featured pictures depicting how Kohn transforms from a male to a female every morning.

"It's difficult to talk about," Adina said. "I tried to go back to the school but I couldn't."

Matt, who recently came out to his mother and was embraced by her, remembered an incident in middle school when several male students cornered him and began punching him. One of them had purposely bumping into Matt because and he shoved him back.

"Everybody would always say `you're so lesbian,'" Matt said. "I tried to tell them that I'm not a lesbian."

A supportive wrestling team

At Mount Olive High School, Matt said straight guys ask him out on dates despite knowing his true gender identity.

Dylan, who plays on the school's wrestling and softball teams, said his teammates on the softball team aren't fully accepting, and often make him feel uncomfortable by whispering and giggling when he's around. "You know they're talking about you," he said.

Last season, parents of the players on the softball team met to try to get him barred from playing on the team but the coach supported him and he remained on the team, he said. Dylan said his teammates on the wrestling team have been extremely supportive and no male opponent has ever refused to wrestle against him.

Transgender individuals face practical, day-to-day questions, Ibeh said -- like deciding which bathroom to use and whether to wear female or male clothing.

Which bathroom? Not an issue

Local high schools contacted by NJ Advance Media said they haven't had any problems with regards to trans students using the bathrooms of the genders with which they identify. But it is becoming an issue around the country, with several states considering legislation to address trans' individuals access to bathrooms.

"Our transgender students don't use separate lavatories and are welcome to use the lavatory that aligns with their gender identity," said Karen Bingert, the principal at Hillsborough High. "It has not been an issue."

Dylan and Matt said they use the girls bathroom at school although they identify as male. Kohn said she prefers a unisex bathroom. All three said they haven't had a confrontation in a bathroom with any student objecting to them being there.

Ibeh said how transgender individuals dress and present themselves often reflect the different stages of accepting their gender identity.

"I think the transgender population is still very much misunderstood," Ibeh said. "There has to be more education. There's still a lot of harassment, physical abuse and hate crimes directed against the transgender population. I think right now society is more accepting of homosexuality than the transgender population."

Dave Hutchinson may be reached at dhutchinson@njadvancemedia.com.Follow him on Twitter @DHutch_SL. Find NJ.com on Facebook.