20 SHARES Share Tweet



“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” Robert Frost



In mindfulness-based psychotherapy there’s a technique called “urge surfing” that’s used to help individuals overcome addictive and impulsive behaviors.

The main assumption behind the technique is that an urge never lasts forever – usually, no more than 20-30 minutes. Individuals can therefore “ride out” these urges simply by becoming more aware of their transient nature.

While reflecting on an urge, such as smoking a cigarette or eating junk food or engaging in promiscuous sex, we should first make note of all the physical and mental sensations that create that craving experience – these craving experiences will often vary depending on the person and the object of desire.

For example, you may identify a twisting sensation in your stomach whenever you crave another piece of cake. Learn how to tune into that feeling – step back and observe it – but don’t act on the impulse. Just watch your desires almost as if you are passively watching a movie.

At first, urge surfing can often make the craving become more and more intense. It’s kind of like this video of kids trying not to eat marshmallows.

Despite the kids’ temptation to eat the marshmallow right away, they try to hold out in hopes of receiving a larger reward in the future (two marshmallows). But as the experience drags on, many of the kids become more and more stressed out, and the craving continues to amplify.

This is a common occurrence for most desires. It is analogous to a wave in an ocean growing larger and larger, as the craving builds and builds.

However, like all waves, they eventually come down and dissipate too. They don’t continue to build up forever; instead, they are impermanent, and in a constant state-of-flux. They rise, but also fall.

Our desires work in the same way when urge surfing. At first, it may seem like our temptations are only getting stronger and stronger, but eventually they weaken and subside, so long as we can “ride out” the craving long enough.

This is the main mechanism which allows urge surfing to be so effective in overcoming addictive behaviors.





Urge Surfing: A Step-by-Step Guide

Here are the main steps for using “urge surfing” to help overcome your automatic habits and behaviors:

Identify the craving. The sooner you become aware of the craving the easier it will be to overcome it. You don’t want to have to fight the craving when the object of desire is already in your reach. By that point, the craving may already be too strong for you to overcome. Work on your body awareness and pay close attention to what your cravings feel like on both a physical and mental level.

The sooner you become aware of the craving the easier it will be to overcome it. You don’t want to have to fight the craving when the object of desire is already in your reach. By that point, the craving may already be too strong for you to overcome. Work on your body awareness and pay close attention to what your cravings feel like on both a physical and mental level. Sit back and watch. The key tool behind “urge surfing” is your awareness. The goal is to sit back, watch these desires, and really become attuned to the overall experience. Don’t act, just observe – like a scientist observing a specimen under a microscope.

The key tool behind “urge surfing” is your awareness. The goal is to sit back, watch these desires, and really become attuned to the overall experience. – like a scientist observing a specimen under a microscope. Make a mental note of the sensations. It really helps to pinpoint what it is that creates your craving experience. This includes both physical sensations and mental sensations, including certain thought patterns that may be running through your head (“One more won’t hurt me.”), or mental imagery. Often the more aware you become of your craving experience, the more you understand the anatomy of your desires.

It really helps to pinpoint what it is that creates your craving experience. This includes both physical sensations and mental sensations, including certain thought patterns that may be running through your head (“One more won’t hurt me.”), or mental imagery. Often the more aware you become of your craving experience, the more you understand the anatomy of your desires. Be aware of environmental triggers. Often times our habits and automatic behaviors are influenced by certain triggers in our environment. For example, hanging around at a bar makes it harder to resist the temptation to drink alcohol than if you were hanging out at a cafe instead. In the same way, associating with certain people may make you more likely to engage in an unhealthy behavior than if you chose a different group of friends to associate with. Being aware of these environmental triggers can be an important part of urge surfing and better understanding your addiction. Learn to avoid these triggers in the future and you’ll have an easier time overcoming these negative habits, especially if you learn to create a boundary between you and your bad habits.

Often times our habits and automatic behaviors are influenced by certain triggers in our environment. For example, hanging around at a bar makes it harder to resist the temptation to drink alcohol than if you were hanging out at a cafe instead. In the same way, associating with certain people may make you more likely to engage in an unhealthy behavior than if you chose a different group of friends to associate with. Being aware of these environmental triggers can be an important part of urge surfing and better understanding your addiction. Learn to avoid these triggers in the future and you’ll have an easier time overcoming these negative habits, especially if you learn to create a boundary between you and your bad habits. Keep in mind the lesson of “impermanence.” The takeaway lesson of “urge surfing” is that all of our thoughts and feelings are impermanent, including our cravings and desires. By showing a little patience and reminding ourselves that “this too shall pass,” we can give ourselves that extra time and space to let our instincts pass without acting on them.

The takeaway lesson of “urge surfing” is that all of our thoughts and feelings are impermanent, including our cravings and desires. By showing a little patience and reminding ourselves that “this too shall pass,” we can give ourselves that extra time and space to let our instincts pass without acting on them. Apply a helpful affirmation or mantra. If you’d like, you can also accommodate your “urge surfing” with a helpful affirmation or mantra. Repeating an affirmation such as, “This too shall pass,” or “I can ride out this desire,” or “I’m surfing to the next experience,” will help replace unhelpful thoughts with a more stable state of mind that reminds you that this is a temporary experience.

If you’d like, you can also accommodate your “urge surfing” with a helpful affirmation or mantra. Repeating an affirmation such as, “This too shall pass,” or “I can ride out this desire,” or “I’m surfing to the next experience,” will help replace unhelpful thoughts with a more stable state of mind that reminds you that this is a temporary experience. Use metaphors to change how you see your mind. Metaphors can be a great way to change your perspective on your thoughts and feelings. My favorite metaphors for mind including seeing your thoughts, feelings, and desires as “clouds passing in the sky” or “water flowing down a stream.”

Metaphors can be a great way to change your perspective on your thoughts and feelings. My favorite metaphors for mind including seeing your thoughts, feelings, and desires as “clouds passing in the sky” or “water flowing down a stream.” Keep practicing. As with all mental tools I share on this site, “urge surfing” is something that will often take practice before seeing results. Don’t expect to try this one time and be free from your habits and automatic behaviors, and also remember that it’s just one tool that can help out of many, but it’s definitely not a magical “cure-all.”

These are the essentials when it comes to learning how to “urge surf.” Try to identify one unhealthy desire throughout your day that you can practice “urge surfing” with. See how long you can go, even if you happen to give in at first. Then the next time, try to see what happens if you never act on the craving at all. Keep learning and improving!



Stay updated on new articles and resources in psychology and self improvement:



