A zero-waste group has urged lavish humans to eat the entire person and not just the ass, the most popular part of the person.

The popularity of ass-eating has skyrocketed in recent years but (and it’s a big but) it’s considered incredibly wasteful by zero-waste groups.



‘There’s a lot of other parts on the human body and the majority of them just get ignored. Most of the time the ass gets eaten and then the rest of the body is just discarded.

‘If we want to make a real change then we must start eating the whole body, just like Native Americans did with bison,’ implored zero-waste advocate Honeydew Pip-Bean.

The advice could prove vital to keeping climate change goals on track, although it hasn’t proved popular with many people.

As one Twitter user tweeted: ‘Everyone knows the ass is the most delicious part of the human. If you think I’m going to start eating feet, you’ve got another thing coming.’