You can play the new Star Wars edition of Monopoly as one of four characters. Here are your choices: Finn, Kylo Ren, Darth Vader, or Luke Skywalker.

Have you seen The Force Awakens? Okay, good. (If not, well, really small spoilers ahead.) Then you're aware that Darth Vader is not in The Force Awakens (unless you count his crinkly old helmet). You're also aware that Luke Skywalker is in The Force Awakens for less than 10 seconds. You might also be aware that the main character of the movie is Rey — you cannot debate that statement with me, as the title of the movie literally refers to her. She is the hero of the movie. The most recent Star Wars movie, that is.

here is a thought: five game pieces

Here is the cover of the box (please try not to laugh out loud, as somebody worked hard on this, probably):

Let me restate: Rey is the main character of the most recent Star Wars movie; Rey is not a character in the most recent Star Wars Monopoly game. I am not exaggerating when I say that even a child can understand why this is messed up.

Here's a photo of Daisy Ridley (aka Rey, the main character of The Force Awakens), making a young girl's day.

I'm sure this gem of a person knows better than to care about being included in the 30,000th iteration of the most boring game of all time, but that does not right any wrongs.

Monopoly (or should I say Man-opoly?), as a game that was once about utopian cooperation and is now about worshipping the cutthroat nature of capitalism, is probably better aligned with the values of the Empire. That's what I would say if I took the themes of board games seriously, and wanted a good excuse for this moronic misogyny.

Hasbro? More like Has-bro, am I right?

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