Australia’s press took to England with subdued vigour in the wake of a comprehensive Ashes victory, secured on the final day of play in the third Test at the Waca.

Sydney’s Daily Telegraph, no stranger to hyperbole, was the most enthusiastic, declaring: “Rivalry dead: Brilliant Aussies humiliate pathetic Poms”. Other major news outlets settled on recycled puns, with the West Australian editorialising that Australia had “urned” it, while the Herald Sun simply ran with “Smashes!”

The front and back pages of The Daily Telegraph for Tuesday, December 19, 2017, and cartoonist Warren Tiedeman's take on the world. pic.twitter.com/7hFgSSFxRb — The Daily Telegraph (@dailytelegraph) December 18, 2017

The overall sentiment, however, was clear, with The Australian declaring the series “no contest” – with “bragging rights urned”.

On just why the contest had been so one-sided, Australia’s most-respected cricket commentators churned through a range of theories.

News Corp’s Robert Craddock endorsed what many had previously mused, arguing that “England lost this series the day Ben Stokes punched a man and put a hole in his own career at Bristol in September”.

“The vibe around the cricket world was ‘no Stokes, no England’,” he wrote. “It really was that simple.”

Leaving aside what others had declared the “ball of the Ashes” by Mitchell Starc, Craddock instead endorsed Pat Cummins’ bouncer to Jimmy Anderson as the “defining moment of Australia’s outstanding summer”.

The front page of The Australian. Photograph: The Australian

“The sound of Jimmy Anderson’s helmet cracking as if it hit by a hammer will echo all the way to South Africa,” he wrote.

On this point, Ben Horne of Adelaide’s Advertiser agreed, writing that the sight of Australia’s bowlers rushing to Anderson’s aid was a sign “Australia has mentally got inside the heads of the English tail with their sheer pace”.

Gideon Haigh, in The Australian, was another to praise the hosts’ superior bowling attack, declaring the three-pronged attack of Mitchell Starc, Josh Hazlewood and Cummins had been at their “marauding best”, while England had faltered.

“The rivals have not bowled on different pitches during this Test, but it has seemed like it,” he wrote.

Craddock was far less kind, adding that while Craig Overton had “toiled serviceably... the rest of the averages are far too offensive to be printed in a family newspaper, particularly at Christmas time”.

But while England received little praise, the opposite was true for captain Steve Smith. Chris Barrett declared the Ashes victory Smith’s “greatest moment of his two years at the helm”, shying away from the controversial comparison with Bradman, but stating that he had at least re-written the “post-Bradman record books”.

Haigh and others acknowledged Smith’s poor record with DRS challenges, and the ultimately innocuous (if incorrect) decision not to enforce the follow-on, but declared him ultimately vindicated.

“Smith displayed a magnate’s acquisitiveness, in runs, in tricks and in moments,” Haigh wrote.

“His impetuosity with reviews has been faulted. But it’s almost like an expression of his own willpower, if he wants something hard enough it will come true. A lot of the time, frankly, it does.”

England were given little if any chance of recovering from the 3-0 loss, with many predicting a whitewash.

“England are on their knees with several senior players on the ropes and now facing the stark realisation that they could suffer a third 5-0 humiliation on Australian soil in the past 11 years” wrote Horne. “Smith can smell blood in the water.”

Greg Baum of Fairfax was of the same opinion, lamenting that the Melbourne and Sydney Tests would again prove dead rubbers (with Sydney failing to host a live Ashes Test since 1994-95 and Melbourne having only the one in 2010-11). Baum also wrote with regret about the “home-team hegemony” that is increasingly characteristic of the Ashes.

“For England in Australia, it’s that their bowlers aren’t fast enough,” he wrote. “For Australian in England, it’s that the batsmen are all at sea. Each Ashes series begins with a frisson, but ends in anti-climax.”

Another key factor, he argued, was an increasingly packed cricketing calendar, meaning “teams unravel more quickly away, and once the unravelling begins, there is no time or room to re-ravel”.

“With their eyes shut tight, the visitors already are thinking of England 2019”.

Finally, some humour was reserved for an England side that had been reduced to praying for rain.

“Steve Smith’s men have a 3-0 lead and are on course for a whitewash against a washed-out opponent,” wrote Peter Lalor in The Australian.

“Men armed with leaf blowers would attempt to dry the pitch areas as officials stared anxiously. England flapped while Australia adopted an insouciant ‘she’ll be right mate’ manner.”

“The victors will not ride into town triumphantly clutching a champagne flute as they do in the Tour de France, but there is a sense that what remains are demonstration matches only.”