Most people wonder what are the secrets of being a good speaker. What do they need to do to become a confident speaker? There are a lot of things that one can learn from attending spoken English or spoken language classes but in general when it comes to self learning my advise is to shift focus from speaking to Listening.





Forget about speaking, concentrate on listening. Listen carefully. Observe people who speak well. Go to Ted videos. Listen. The more you listen the more you prepare. Now, copy the best practices of those great speakers: Tone of voice, pitch, pauses, volume, speed etc. It will not happen in a day, it may take several days, but day by day you will improve. Have faith and trust yourself.





Another important thing regarding verbal communications is

* Avoid saying the first thing that comes to your mind. * Even avoid the second thing that comes to your mind. * SAY THE THIRD.

This simple tip will immensely help you in all facets of your life, be it career, relationships, business. The first thing you say is often on impulse and reflexive based on preconceptions, hatreds, ignorance, and whatever. The second thing is often a reverse of the first, and may be equally suspect but in the opposite direction. The third thing will be more balanced, perhaps more creative, certainly far more thoughtful. Blurting is one of the most damaging traits in almost any setting. If it requires a few extra seconds for you to do the Third Thing, so be comfortable doing it. Take a pause and be comfortable with silence. People with discernment will notice, understand, and admire you for it. Having said that h ere are the six sins of communication which you should try to avoid:

Gossip

Never Gossip. This is the first sin of communication. Gossiping results into nothing. You will waste time, energy and efforts by talking about people, things and situations which you cannot change or influence.







Negativity

Never Condemn, Criticize or Complain. Spreading negativity will get you nowhere. Concentrate on creating a positive environment. Talk about how a problem can be solved or accept the fact and move on. Don't let the negativity linger around you for long.







Excuses

Don't make excuses. Take ownership when required. Hiding behind excuses will escalate the original issue and it will become worse than before. Be open to discuss the issues, face it with a brave heart and open mind. Have an attitude of problem solving.







Lying

Never lie. You will need to lie a thousand times to hid one lie. Eventually someone smart will catch your lie, you will be embarrassed and ashamed. It takes courage to be truthful. Be courageous.







Dogmatism

Don't let success go into your head. Arrogance will lead to your downfall. Have an attitude of gratitude. Share your knowledge and success. Stay away from unnecessary strictness and inflexibility.