Most hack-and-slash adventures are constrained by stuff like gravity, physics, and logic. Bayonetta tosses that stuff out the window and the result is a beautifully incoherent spectacle. The opening stage sets the tone as our sophisticated witch is shopping downtown when a jet plane tries to crash into her. Bayonetta kicks it into the air like a soccer ball and proceeds to fight monsters on it as the plane buzzes the skyscrapers. Golden centaurs are crushed under giant ethereal boots, causing gold coins to spring forth not unlike a Sonic the Hedgehog game. After driving a car along the side of building and beating down a boss on a crumbling bridge, Bayonetta summons a colossal beast which swallows the boss whole. If this is all making sense, you should seek counseling immediately! The action is intense and even when you don't know exactly what's happening, you can't take your eyes off the screen. Bayonetta 2 is a game you can never fully wrap your brain around, but that's part of its charm. The gorgeous stages take place in magnificent cathedrals, underwater ruins, and other dimensions. Bosses appear early and often, and the game looks so epic thatfight looks like a boss encounter. You'll face both angelic and demonic adversaries, and the creativity of their designs is. These behemoths are intimidating in size and disturbing in appearance, but fortunately your witch can dish out punishment on a galactic scale. A well-timed dodge slows down time and lets her sneak in a series of quick hits. I love it when you "ride" one monster and use it to beat up another. When your combo meter becomes full, you can spank a beast of any size into oblivion. Best of all are the "torture" attacks which make traditional fatalities look like child's play. The violence is positively spectacular, and when the Japanese pop music kicks in during the knock-out blow, it's surreal. Bayonetta 2 also has a tremendous depth. In addition to loads of moves, you can equip a variety of weapons (to your legs and arms), concoct power-up items, and transform into animals like a panther or sea serpent. What's not to like? Well the shop is stocked with awesome items that are way too expensive. The interface for activating items in the heat of battle is clumsy. The story is incomprehensible, and the bad language and sexual references are just plain unnecessary. Still, these complaints seem a bit petty considering the sheer magnitude of this game. Bayonetta 2 will dazzle your senses and leave you breathless. The fact that the original Bayonetta is also included (on a second disk no less) makes this a slam-dunk purchase for Wii U owners. © Copyright 2014 The Video Game Critic.