At first I had mixed emotions, but now I find it extremely exciting, like seeing a porn film, only live

We met in 2001, fell instantly in love, and married 14 months later. During our honeymoon in Paris, I suggested we visit a couples-only swingers’ club. It had always been my dream (I’d been married before, but my ex-wife wouldn’t entertain the idea), and luckily my wife agreed.

At first we had a rule: we touch nobody and nobody touches us; we just watch and are watched. This carried on for years, until we inadvertently attended a club where single guys were also present for “trios”. That night, we met an attractive guy, 20 years our junior, who just wanted to chat, at first.

Later that evening, I was with my wife in the Jacuzzi when he came and sat beside us. He resumed the friendly conversation, and after about 15 minutes my wife surprised me by whispering that she’d like a threesome. I was shocked but excited, and before long he’d given her the most amazing orgasm. It transpired that she needed a young, virile body to give her something I couldn’t.

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Since then we’ve met a number of single men at sex clubs. Sometimes I am with my wife during these sessions, holding her hand or kissing her, but mostly I just watch. Occasionally, I even stay outside the room, drinking or chatting with others. The first few times, I had mixed emotions, but now I find it extremely exciting. Swinging is like watching a porn film, only live.

Our relationship is better for these events; we are closer than before, and I love seeing her receive such pleasure. It is certainly not for everybody, but it works for us.

• Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email sex@theguardian.com

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