Last year I wrote a playful article titled " Does Your Team Need A QB? " In it, I went team-by-team and addressed the quarterback position swiftly and with a bit of sass. It was all in good fun -- though I did certainly make my claims to situations and players who I was not fans of or did not think would pan out in the long run.

Remember, this is supposed to be a little more light-hearted than other serious articles.

In that same spirit, I decided to write another article, this time dealing with coaching hot seats going into the 2019 NFL season.

So, with that said, I ask the question: How hot is your NFL coach's seat?

Miami Dolphins, Brian Flores: A Comfortable Temperature

For about a decade now, Miami has been anywhere from 6-10 to 9-7. Not that bad, but not that good. In that sense, being the Dolphins head coach is like being in high school. B's and C's get degrees. You might not get into that big college you wanted to (playoffs), but you'll definitely get the slightly watered down college experience somewhere (entertaining regular season games).

Flores just has to not absolutely suck and he'll be fine.

Buffalo Bills, Sean McDermott: Chilled Fridge Water

I wish I could say McDermott's seat is as hot as the wings in Buffalo, because that would be a perfect analogy, but it's just not true. He's brought them early success and has a young *potential* franchise quarterback, so he's not going anywhere.

New York Jets, Adam Gase: Room Temperature Water

It's still water, but it's not super refreshing water. Could you pour it out and try to get a colder one? Maybe. But the thought of putting in the effort to change it out likely keeps you with the room temperature water, for now.

Anyone else thirsty?

New England Patriots, Bill Belichick: Colder Than The Planet Neptune

You know the king of the Frost Giants from the first Thor movie? You know that giant frost throne he sits on?

That's Bill Belichick, and that's how hot his seat is.

The dude could go 0-16 for the next nine straight seasons and still have a winning record with the Patriots.

Pittsburgh Steelers, Mike Tomlin: Cool As The Other Side of the Pillow

Tomlin is going into his 13th season as the Steelers head coach. He has never had a losing record -- not once. He hasn't finished in the bottom half of the division since 2012.

I know there are some Steelers peeps who think he should be on thin ice, but I ain't buying it.

People get bored, even with winners.

Baltimore Ravens, John Harbaugh: Lil' Toasty

Last December there were talks that Harbaugh could be out in Baltimore... After winning 10 games...

Y'all really do get bored with winning, huh?

The Ravens signed him to an extension in January that is scheduled to keep him there until 2022, but every coaching contract can be terminated at any time. It's really all on how they manage things with Lamar Jackson.

Cleveland Browns, Freddie Kitchens: Chilly Morning, But Sunny Afternoon

In theory, the Kitchens promotion to head coach makes sense. It keep the connection crisp between quarterback and head coach with Baker Mayfield, and the rest of that offense should benefit from it. But, on the flip side, expectations have never been higher in Cleveland, and there are a lot of potentially big egos in that locker room.

It's a promising situation for a beautiful day, but will the sun heat things up too much as time goes on?

Cincinnati Bengals, Zac Taylor: Popsicle Straight Out The Freezer

Hiring the 36-year old Taylor was definitely a risky move by the Bengals, especially given the fact that he's only ever been a quarterbacks coach in the NFL. But there's no way they bail on this guy after one season, especially looking back and seeing them give Marvin Lewis nearly two decades.

He's like a popsicle you take out of the freezer. Only way things end poorly quickly is if you do something really dumb like go out in the Florida summer with it.

Jacksonville Jaguars, Doug Marrone: Mango Habanero

You ever been to Buffalo Wild Wings and gotten the mango habanero sauce? That stuff does NOT mess around.

Marrone better not be messing around, either, because his seat is about as hot as that wing sauce. He can survive it, as have I when ordering those wings, but it's going to take the right plan, determination and will -- and like four glasses of water.

The Jags still have a ton of talent on their defense, and with no Blake Bortles anymore, things on offense should balance out for this team to be competitive. But for Marrone, no Bortles is both good and bad. In theory, you get a better quarterback. But if they don't improve, there's nowhere else to point the finger, and he'll be gone.

Indianapolis Colts, Frank Reich: Hotel A/C On The Lowest Setting

Ballard and Reich are building a dynasty in Indianapolis. Just wait on it.

Houston Texans, Bill O'Brien: Spring Skiing In April

As much as I can think that the Texans aren't going to win "The Big One" under O'Brien, he's not going anywhere. He's out-lasted two general managers already, so it's clear that ownership believes in O'Brien more than anything else. Everyone in Houston refuses to surround the Texans with real offensive line talent, so I don't think they'll get very far.

Though I think his seat should be hotter, like Lake Tahoe in April, somehow people are still wearing jackets and having snowball fights.

Tennessee Titans, Mike Vrabel: Cold As Ice

Mike Vrabel went on a podcast and said he'd cut his junk off if it meant the Titans would win a Super Bowl.

Dude is not going anywhere.

Los Angeles Chargers, Anthony Lynn: Cool & Comfortable

Since starting his coaching career 0-4, Lynn has posted a 22-8 record and even a playoff win. He and quarterback Philip Rivers seem to be giving each other life, and as long as Rivers has enough drive to keep reproducing -- hold on one second... okay thanks -- winning records, Lynn should be safe in L.A.

Kansas City Chiefs, Andy Reid: An Iceberg In Global Warming

There are two sides to this Andy Reid coin. I know for a fact that he almost retired from coaching a few years ago when he was with the Chiefs because he didn't think he was the right man for the job. Then they caught fire, and now they have the league MVP at quarterback.

If it were up to Kansas City, Reid wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon. But could the 61-year-old Reid want to hang it up?

Denver Broncos, Vic Fangio: As Cold As Elway Sets The Temperature

Elway is married to Fangio -- Vic was likely the last hire Elway made as general manager. So he'll let Fangio have his time, because if he turns the heat up on him too fast, he'll burn himself.

Oakland Raider, Jon Gruden: Cold As A $100M Block of Ice

I doubt Gruden lasts all 10 years in his 10-year, $100M deal, but they owe that guy nine figures regardless, so you might as well keep him around for a while.

New York Giants, Pat Shurmur: HOT AS HELL

That entire organization seems to be sipping the Kool-Aid of a long-term strategy that included trading away one of the best offensive weapons in the NFL, drafting a running back No. 2 overall, and continuing to play an aging quarterback who is obviously beyond his prime seasons.

Knowing that, maybe the Giants are content with being bad? And if they are, I guess Shurmur is safe?

But unless Daniel Jones truly rides in on a white horse to save the day, I can't see Shurmur sticking around.

Philadelphia Eagles, Doug Pederson: Subzero

Doug Pederson is a strong Coach of the Year candidate who is leading one of the most talented rosters in the NFL, and is poised for another Super Bowl run in 2019.

Any questions?

Dallas Cowboys, Jason Garrett: Idk, Man, I Guess Pretty Cold

Think about Jerry Jones. Like, everything about who Jerry Jones is. Jason Garrett is going into his ninth season as Dallas' head coach with two Wild Card wins and zero Divisional Round wins.

If Jones ever wanted to fire Garrett, he would've done it already.

Washington Redskins, Jay Gruden: The Earth's Core

Five years, no playoff wins and a three-year playoff drought. Alex Smith's injury didn't help Gruden's progressive cause when it happened, and that's just bad luck. His only hope is to get Dwayne Haskins into starting shape quickly.

Another sub .500 year from Gruden and he's out.

Green Bay Packers, Matt LaFleur: Not Hot, But Not That Cold

Anytime you're inheriting a first ballot Hall of Famer at quarterback who's still in the tail end of his prime there's a lot of pressure.

There's also an understanding that you're likely not the most important guy -- he is.

If it ever comes down to Rodgers or LaFleur, they won't pick LaFleur.

Chicago Bears, Matt Nagy: Cold As The Rockies

After a stellar first season as head coach, in which they would have made it to the divisional round if their kicker could, you know, kick, Nagy's job is sealed tight for this season.

Minnesota Vikings, Mike Zimmer: Store-Bought Lemon Lime Gatorade

Last year was weird but Zimmer has been good in Minnesota. Even if the Bears are tops in the division, if the Vikings can best the Packers, Zimmer will be fine.

Detroit Lions, Matt Patricia: Hotter Than a Fireball Shot At An SEC Tailgate

We get one more double-digit losing season in 2019 and Patricia might not make it to halfway through the contract he signed a year and a half ago.

New Orleans Saints, Sean Payton: Basically A Snowman

Sean Payton will be the Saints coach for at least as long as Drew Brees is the quarterback. And Drew Brees is still the quarterback.

That's all you need to know.

Atlanta Falcons, Dan Quinn: A Pack of Icy Hot

Quinn's 7-9 season in 2018 was the first losing season he's had in four years with Atlanta. In those four years they also had a Super Bowl run that they should have completed. Plus recalling of all the injuries the team had last year, you would think Quinn is pretty safe. But this offseason he fired both his coordinators and his special teams coach.

So if 2019 doesn't go well, there's only one guy left to fire.

Carolina Panthers, Ron Rivera: Yeeeeeah, It's Pretty Hot

Through eight games in 2018, the Panthers were 6-2 and looked like one of the best teams in the NFC. Over the next eight games they would win just one game and finished the season 7-9.

Anything less than .500 and I'd bet Rivera is out. With Atlanta healthy again, the Saints as the Saints, the Bucs with a better coaching staff and playing in the NFC, do they get eight wins?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Bruce Arians: So Cold It Could Sink The Titanic

Bruce Arians is pretty much one smooth conversation away from being supreme ruler of everything the Buccaneers franchise is.

Seattle Seahawks, Pete Carroll: Colder Than Beer In A Country Song

I just really cannot see a way the Seahawks move on from Carroll before he would want to himself. Carroll brought an identity to that team that made an impact on the league for years. As Seattle embarks on doing that again, I expect Carroll to still be their man for the job. Barring a major let down, which I don't know if quarterback Russell Wilson will even allow, the crazy old man is staying.

Arizona Cardinals, Kliff Kingsbury: Holding An Ice Cube Over Water

Kingsbury is a first-year head coach with a rookie quarterback. So, in that sense, his seat is pretty cold. However, with how contrast and innovative his style might be in the NFL, if you drop that ice cube in water it disappears real quick.

San Francisco 49ers, Kyle Shanahan: Nah, His Seat Ain't Hot

People are saying that if the Niners have another bad year that Shanny is out?

That doesn't make sense. No. He's won with two bad quarterbacks. Now he gets Jimmy G.

Los Angeles Rams, Sean McVay: Spooky Nebula

In order to properly answer this section of the article, I googled "what is the coldest thing in the universe?"

Spooky Nebula is a dead star roughly 5,000 light-years away from Earth. At -458 degrees Fahrenheit, it is the coldest known object in existence.

Other than Sean McVay's coaching seat.