Student loan debt in the United States has risen to $1.6 trillion owed by tens of millions of people, leading to calls for it to be wiped out, although opponents are concerned about the economic and ethical consequences. The Onion evaluates the pros and cons of canceling student loan debt.


PRO

Money a big deterrent against poverty

Might be cool to live in a society where people can afford to learn things and better themselves


Will infuriate Boomers

At this point, who’s going to notice another $1.5 trillion in the deficit?

Makes it easier to get approved for much larger grad school loan

CON

Millennials will obtain a sense of security and self-worth

Would endanger careers of thousands of telephone debt collectors

Ability to afford basic necessities would mean less time spent with parents

Alumni association callers will assume you have more cash to burn

Teaches regular people dangerous and false lesson that they’ll be treated the same as rich people