When Felicity met her now husband, there weren't any butterflies or fireworks.

He was Mr Average. But she was over the highs and lows of relationships with her usual type.

So when she met a "strange-looking, shy and odd" man at work, she decided to change things up.

"He might just be wonderful," she told her friend at the time. "We love the same things, we go hiking, we read books, and I just thought, 'I'm going to ask him out and see what happens'."

Felicity, 39, says it was a calculated move which led to a marriage based on "rapid-fire decision-making rather than love".

"It sounds so unromantic but [I thought] if it's going to be anyone I have a family with, it's going to be this guy, and if it's going to be this guy, then it may as well be now."

In a world where we're told to find our soulmate, "the one" or true love — it can put a lot of pressure on our seemingly average relationships.

So is there benefit in giving more credit to average?

Felicity thinks there is. She now has three children with her "unassuming" beau, and there are no regrets. Even without the burning passion.

"I feel like I have settled for something that's sustainable, because I feel that the alternative is this sort of romantic tension where there's so much pressure," Felicity says.

"Our relationship is tempered and even ... It was a good decision to settle and doesn't, for me, have any negative connotations ... It feels like sensible decision-making."

Who's settling (and why)?

While Felicity isn't afraid to admit she settled for average, many people likely aren't as open, meaning it's a hard trend to map.

But there are some clues that it's happening. One Canadian study (involving mostly women) found that a person's fear of being single consistently predicted romantic interest in less responsive and less attractive people.

Clinical psychologist Gemma Cribb says women settle more than men.

"I think the biological clock still has a lot to answer for in women ... who want a family because there is a biological time limit on when you can have that," she says.

"There's this sense 'if I don't start now then I'll be behind and I might miss out'."

Ms Cribb also pointed to a history of women being treated as commodities as a reason for a desire to be married.

"Women feel like ... 'I'm going to be left on the shelf'. They feel like they're a commodity."

Are all relationships "average" in the long-run? ( Unsplash )

Psychotherapist and author Esther Perel has built a cult following offering relationship advice.

She suggests that people more likely settle due to self-doubt.

"When we use the word 'settled', [it's] more accurate to speak about the fact that maybe you experience a certain ambivalence in your relationship," she says.

"Sometimes you may feel like you've settled because deep down you don't feel like you deserve more.

"Maybe you have a question about your own sense of self-worth and about the fact that you went with the person who wanted you, and not necessarily with the person that you wanted."

The value of passion

Early-love butterflies, sparks, euphoria — are they supposed to last forever?

"I can't really imagine a relationship that sustains its initial passion and burning desire," Felicity says.

According to Ms Cribb, most relationships don't — and that's normal.

She says when we fall in love, a "cocktail of chemicals" creates that firework feeling.

"Having a partner constantly on your mind and feeling like anything is possible is a really, really beautiful period ... But because we wouldn't get anything done if we lived there permanently, our bodies are designed to kind of move beyond that."

Ms Cribb says this usually happens around the 12 to 18-month mark.

"The relationship moves into a space where it kind of feels like a warm hug from your mum."

The argument for fireworks

Given passion eventually fades, does it really matter if your relationship starts with fireworks or not?

Ms Cribb says it helps.

The "spark" might not last forever, but Dr Cribb says it's an important phase to experience. ( Unsplash: Jamie Street )

"I do think watching out for that feeling of infatuation and that chemistry ... is an important part of choosing a partner," she says.

"I don't think it's all that useful to stay and commit to a long-term relationship where you haven't had the dopamine spikes and serotonin withdrawals and the charge of adrenaline when you're falling in love.

"In my experience in couples' therapy, when we haven't had that experience, 10 or 20 years down the track when someone else comes along, we find it really hard to resist that experience with somebody else."

Although Ms Cribb says it's an important part of the bonding process, it doesn't have to be immediate.

"We can wait to get to know someone and see if that develops."

Giving more credit to average

Ms Cribb warns that couples need to have realistic expectations around long-term relationships.

"Everyone's relationship is average," she says.

"If you can get a special moment once a week with your partner, you're doing really, really well."

Felicity also thinks all long-term relationships are average, and we need to give more credit to that.

"The way to elevate your own relationship ... is to put more credence in the average and the settled and predictable.

"The way that I feel good about my relationship and feel like it's above average is how much work we have done to accept one another and to accept each other's failings, but also use that to acknowledge the good stuff."