When Valve announced that they were pulling their Portal 2 event from E3, promising that a "surprise" would be there in its place, the Internet did what the Internet does: It immediately went ablaze with speculation that Half-Life 2: Episode 3 actually exists in a demonstrable capacity suited for public display and would be present at the big show next week.

Seriously, the only thing the Internet is good for is guessing when the next Half-Life game is coming. Note that I said, "good for," and not, "good at."

In a succinct e-mail, Gabe Newell has confirmed that the "surprise" is not Half-Life 2: Episode 3. So, there it is, Internet. Wrong again. You're just going to have to go back to your second love of pornography to mend your bruised ego.

Freeman 14th Picture Confirmed Fake by Gabe [halflife2.net via CVG]