In case you missed it in the wake of all the hype for that other space movie, the trailer for Star Trek Beyond dropped this week.

Did you enjoy that? If your answer was "OHMYGODYES!" then we're going to assume two things about you: You're not a fan of the original Star Trek, and you probably won't like what we have to say. We're sorry about that, and we hope you enjoy this exciting new color in the garbage rainbow that is the reboot of Star Trek -- a superfly mass-murderous series once known for its sci-fi innovation and optimistic space adventures.

To be fair, we're not saying that the new Star Trek film is guaranteed to be terrible, considering we've seen fewer than two minutes of it. But it doesn't take a Medusan to know where this series is headed, now that it's been placed in the hands of a Fast & Furious director and peppered with a steady stream of totally relevant '90s hip hop. Let's be clear: In NO way does the Star Trek Beyond trailer resemble a Star Trek film. In fact, not a single installment of the rebooted Star Trek movies has come anywhere close to resembling a Star Trek film. It's almost as if they're deliberately trying to destroy Star Trek's fanbase and replace it with four-quadrant action fans.