Undisputed Fact: Vincent Kartheiser played a more nebbishy version of his sexist Mad Men character, Pete Campbell. (Though Pete has improved over the years, hasn’t he?) Kartheiser here is an insidious brand of sexist, the kind who doesn’t show an angry side but calmly and rationally undermines women. I don’t hate women, he seems to say, they’re just not good enough for certain things. When confronted by this “facts are facts” brand of sexism, feel free to fling an ironic Kartheiser GIF into the mix.

Too Ass, Too Furious: On the other hand, when you encounter someone who is outraged by a woman succeeding beyond her “station,” I suggest you ask them sweetly if that lady’s ass makes them furious.

The Kevin James Response: Former child-actress Heather Matarazzo (Welcome to the Dollhouse, The Princess Diaries) recently wrote a scathing essay on the time when, according to her, she lost the leading role in a film because she wasn’t “fuckable” enough. When that insulting topic comes up—as it did last year with Schumer herself—feel free to deploy the Kevin James response.

Cheers: For when you’ve triumphed over sexisms. I can think of no better celebration.

Pinecone Pussy: Listen, if I’m being honest, I’m not sure what specific sexist conversation this response is appropriate for. Schumer brings it up here to highlight the unfair criticism she gets for her foul-mouthed humor. So maybe you want to derisively drop it if you, like Anna Kendrick, say the word “fuck” more than your own name. If not, honestly, I think this particular gem can be used for almost any occasion, just as long as you deliver it with the same Harold-Hill-selling-River-City-on-a-boy’s-band panache Giamatti demonstrates here.