Batman is normally bandied about as the paragon of all the superheroes — he's resourceful, has the best gadgets, and can make guano rain down upon his foes with but a snap of his fingers. But Batman pales in comparison to the serpentine Indian beefcake Nagraj, who possesses basically every damn superpower out there, but often chooses to simply shoot snakes out of his wrists.


We once saw how Nagraj bossed around Spider-Man, Batman, and Superman simultaneously for laughs. Now let's take a gander at one of Nagraj's 1980s solo adventures, in which our hero takes down the dreaded "ENEMY OF THE KIDS."


G/O Media may get a commission LG 75-Inch 8K TV Buy for $2150 from BuyDig Use the promo code ASL250

Our story begins with a crate of street chocolate innocently falling outside of Raj Public School in Delhi. The nearby children feast their way through perhaps 100 pounds of free cacao in maybe 40 seconds.


This entire page is derailed by the maniac poetry that is the translated dialogue. It's nowhere as egregious as those Indian James Bond comics, but it's just off-kilter enough to make a gaggle of poisoned children unintentionally funny. (see: "It is dangerous to eat such unattended things!" he screamed as if he had lost his sense for some time.)


The colorist did not do the sound effects any favors in this panel.


So we go from the ambulances that sound like urine in top panel to 700 dead children directly below it. And this only the comic's sixth page! You have never seen a Spider-Man comic this narratively ambitious.


Cut to our hero Nagraj, drinking milk and flexing impeccable detective skills.


Some gangsters are interrogating a guy named Tony, who used to work for the notorious terrorist Zebra. I can barely articulate how much I love this collection of panels. The sound effects! Nagraj's preparation is MORE SNAKES! Also, he missed "all the aims!"


Nagraj comics have all sorts of problems with narrative tension because the hero is more invincible than Superman. In fact, he's so unkillable that he yearbook-poses just to demonstrate how not-fatality-prone he is.


Nagraj is a furious fighter...


...yet an unflinchingly polite rescuer.


Yes, Nagraj's utility belt fucking rules.


To find the chocolate-poisoning terrorist Zebra, Nagraj and Tony must first gain the trust of the terrorist Cheeta. How so? By freeing him from the world's most quaintly impractical prison.


The plan hits a snag! UFF!


I adore how a kick to the face becomes a vague synonym for existential dissatisfaction.


More fun with sirens.


Nagraj discovers Zebra's lair. He now has no qualms about wrecking Cheeta.


Post-interrogation eye poke! That's classic Nagraj!


Nagraj finally catches up with Zebra, thanks to his legion of snakes who sing his own praises. Our hero hangs the hapless villain on an overpass bearing the logo of Raj Comics (Nagraj's real-life publisher)...


...WHERE HE IS PROMPTLY STONED TO DEATH BY AN ANGRY CROWD. THE END. SLEEP WELL, KIDS.

[Via Pyaretoons]