Boozy

I would like, if I may, to take you on a very...oops, sorry. Flashback.Lately there's been an explosion of FNAF merchandise. Mostly that makes me happy. I don't mind when the characters are stylized; in fact, I like it. I think the huge-head keychain danglers are cute (except for Balloon Boy, but that's a separate issue--anyone wanna trade for some extras?) and I'm looking forward to the minis. However, the art on some licensed products makes me cringe. Foremost among them, this image:What the hell?Forget the color issues and the lazy copy-and-pasting below the neck. What the hell is going on with their bodies? Did Freddy swallow a dorm-room refrigerator? When did lean, mean, torn-up Foxy get repaired, lose his pants, and grow a beer gut? What's with Foxy's stoner expression? Why does Freddy's undersized head look more like it belongs on a hippo than a bear? And...oh, God, I can't go on. Who approved this mess?Unfortunately, it appears in a lot of places. Here the colors are a tiny bit better, and Freddy's head actually looks like the Freddy we know and dread, and is the right size for his body. However, becauseFoxy has been flipped his hook is now on the wrong hand, and Chica looks like Howard the Duck, and her bib is ridiculously oversized, and while she's usually zaftig she now looks like she's about to become a mommy. And the placement of her hands is...unfortunate. Ahem.I wish I knew which company was making merch with this "art." None of the listings I've found ( Target Walmart , and others) name the perpetrator. Hmmm.Sanshee would never have done this to us.