However, when you're a comic book writer and your job depends on you churning out thousands and thousands of heroes and villains, you eventually get patently stupid ones like ...

You'd think it would be pretty easy to come up with a new power for a superhero -- just look around your room, choose an object, and make up a power around it. Congratulations, you just invented Liquor Cabinet Man and his nemesis, Puke Stain on the Carpet Woman.

6 Paste-Pot Pete (Marvel Comics) -- A Bucket of Glue

Marvel

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

A Human Torch villain and one of Stan Lee's proudest creations, Paste-Pot Pete has the brains of a scientist but the wardrobe of a homeless Ebenezer Scrooge. He carries a paste gun and a pail of fireproof superglue that he accidentally created while working as a research chemist. Instead of starting a legitimate door-to-door business selling a miracle adhesive, he decides to commit crimes with it. Here Paste-Pot Pete demonstrates the potential of his glue gun by shooting a cop in the dick:

Marvel

"But once I remove this, my thighs will be smooth, like a baby's."

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

In Strange Tales #104, Pete robs a bank and then attempts to steal a missile in order to sell it to foreign powers, presumably all in the same day. He wards off the Human Torch, sticks him to the aforementioned rocket, and launches him into space. Let us repeat that: Paste-Pot Pete manages to beat the Torch, a guy who can shoot fire from literally every part of his body, despite the fact that his superpower is basically a pot full of Gorilla Glue.

Marvel

Gorilla Glue, and rhyming, too.

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

Luckily for America (and the readers, because it means the comic is almost over), Human Torch regains control of the situation and melts Paste-Pot's missile truck. He was arrested and charged for attacking police, treason, and the unrelated robbery of a sperm bank.