Okay, so this guy— a San Jose city cop who mock-arrested a 15-year old boy for having sex with his daughter—isn’t exactly good. Or bright. The cop reportedly told the boy, “a cop’s daughter is not somebody you mess around with,” as he applied hand cuffs. The boy’s father caught the “arrest” on video with his cell phone.

As the officer’s lawyer explained it, his client was doing the boy’s parents a favor so he “doesn’t continue to go down the wrong path.” Right.

Let’s be clear: Abuse of power and gratuitous scare-tactics are not cool.

But, the story illustrates how scary it can be for dads to confront their daughter’s sexuality. In a stunning instant, she isn’t a little girl any more. No matter how strong the man, how reasonable the mind, facing your child’s sexuality can be tough.

I’ll never forget the twisted look of pain and incomprehension on my dad’s face when my mom presented him with evidence of my own coming-of-age. (Granted, she was brandishing a box of condoms and screaming in barely comprehensible English.)

This police officer chose the worst way possible to express a feeling that every father—good or bad—can relate to.

Check out the video of the arrest after the jump: