Donald Trump offered al-Baghdadi immunity in return for dirt on Joe Biden

Self-styled ‘President’ Donald J. Trump offered IS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi complete immunity from his abject crimes against humanity in return for a bit of dirt on Joe Biden.

President Trump himself denied any wrongdoing, saying, “Yes, this is a horrific individual but, in the grand scheme of things, he could get me re-elected with a bit of hot gossip about the Bidens, so we can forgive him a bit of terrorism and the occasional beheadings of innocent poor people.

“It’s nothing personal. It’s just business.”

Via his Virgin Media connection direct from Hell, al-Baghdadi said, “I am an evil, heinous, despicable, brainwashing propagandist. Even so, I chose to end my life and spend eternity rotting in Hades rather than accept immunity and freedom from a man like Donald Trump.

“It’s bloody warm down here. Tell him Jimmy Savile is keeping a seat cool for him.”