WASHINGTON—Telling reporters they felt completely depleted after spending the past 36 hours contemplating a Donald Trump presidency, Americans across the country admitted Thursday they were unsure whether they would have enough revulsion and horror left in them to agonize over his forthcoming cabinet and court appointments. “I’ve already used up so much of my disgust and abject terror just thinking about the consequences of Trump becoming commander-in-chief that I don’t know if I can muster even the slightest dread about the people he’ll choose to lead all the federal departments and agencies, let alone the kind of justice he’ll put on the Supreme Court,” said Arvada, CO resident Sam Olchowski, echoing the sentiments of tens of millions of weary citizens who admitted that, after fretting so extensively over Tuesday’s results, it would take several weeks before they could rebuild enough of a store of anger and distress to adequately panic over the names of those individuals who will be placed in charge of the U.S. Treasury, the Department of Defense, the State Department, the Department of Justice, and dozens of federal courts. “Believe me, I know I should be physically sickened at the thought of who might be elevated to some of the most important posts in the nation, but I’m pretty much totally tapped out on despair after focusing all my loathing at the executive authority, military power, and foreign influence that Trump will be able to exercise as president. Honestly, I can barely summon the energy to be completely disheartened by the prospect of Republicans controlling all three branches of government.” At press time, millions of worn-out Americans had pushed back their timetable for feeling sadness and abhorrence toward Trump’s potential executive appointments even further after remembering that the vice president will be Mike Pence.

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