Look, Lush knew exactly what they were doing when they unveiled an aubergine bath bomb as part of their Valentine’s Day collection.

We all know that the aubergine emoji means a penis. It’s fun. It’s cheeky.

But what perhaps Lush didn’t consider is that if you make something that looks like the go-to penis emoji, at some point someone will consider using that thing as a dildo.

We don’t make the rules. This is just how humans work: We take perfectly innocent things and ruin them with smut.


So, to ward off this bad decision before anyone makes it, let us be clear.

Okay but did lush really think this through? There is gonna be at least one dumbass that tries to use that eggplant bath bomb as a dildo. Like come on. It’s gonna happen. — JayLynnExperiences (@JLExperiences) January 3, 2019

You absolutely should not use Lush’s new aubergine bath bomb as a dildo. You should not insert it inside your vagina, anus, or mouth.



The same goes for any bath bomb, really, but as the aubergine is the one that suggests a penis, that’s the one we’re focusing on today.

While, as one unnamed coworker suggested, you might imagine a pleasant fizzing sensation, you’d be more likely to end up with a vagina injured by the bath bomb’s roughness.

Plus, you’re putting the vagina at risk of a nasty infection.

Dr Vaness Mackay, spokesperson for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘We would strongly discourage the use of bath bombs internally as these could disturb the fragile balance of good bacteria inside the vagina.

‘This natural flora helps to protect the vagina and disrupting it could lead to irritation, inflammation and infection, such as bacterial vaginosis or thrush.

‘Women are advised to use plain, unperfumed soaps to wash the area around the vagina (the vulva), not inside it, gently every day.’

To repeat: it is not a good idea to put any kind of bath bomb or soap inside your vagina.

In addition to the risks of infection and irritation, the aubergine bath bomb is also at risk of breakage, which makes it a dangerous thing to use for anal play. You don’t want a bit of bath bomb getting broken off inside you.

Consuming it orally might make you a bit poorly.

We asked Lush for a comment on this important matter, and they responded: ‘We don’t need to comment on that.’

Fair enough.

Let us recap one more time for the people in the back: Do not insert Lush’s new aubergine bath bomb – or any bath bomb – inside yourself. Do not put it in your vagina. Do not put it in your anus. Do not put it in your mouth.

Think Green Eggs and Ham, but with your various orifices not liking bath bombs.

Stick to throwing them in the tub for a far more relaxing experience.

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