THERE is no such thing as a Magic Money Tree, believers in the Enchanted Brexit Fountain of Prosperity have told Jeremy Corbyn.

The Labour leader’s fantasy of a tree with banknote leaves is childish nonsense and must be rejected in favour of a red, white and blue fountain whose inexhaustible waters imbue greatness, say voters.

Roy Hobbs of Hythe said: “Pluck off the low-hanging £50s, leave the tenners to ripen, all our public services are paid for. It’d be lovely to believe it but, Jeremy, I’m too old for fairy stories.

“We’ve got to be practical. And in two years, when we drink deep of the blessed waters that run from the golden lion’s mouth, waters that will revive our industries and turn the world map pink again, we’ll be glad we did the sensible thing.

“Sprinkle a few drops here and whoosh, British Leyland’s cars are the envy of the globe. A draught there and Carry On is beating Marvel at the global box office.

“Come on, lad. Now’s not the time for dreamers. Come and join the rest of us in the real world.”