Let’s call a spade a spade. It surely says something about the new era we have entered into when the biggest celebrity at President Donald Trump’s inauguration was the President himself.

I know it’s not the most pressing subject to write about, given the pending executive orders from a Republican administration that threaten to decimate progress as we know it. But readers can satisfy themselves on two points: the performance schedule is at least a more worthy talking point than Kellyanne Conway’s Civil War jacket, and Trump was no doubt irritated by the C-list line-up.

President Trump – vain, narcissistic, self-obsessed – has long been ingratiated with and validated by celebrity culture. He could not have failed to miss the sparkle and magic that an A-list show provides. It was a grey, rainy day in Washington DC and the celebrities were rather grey and rainy to match. While Beyoncé and Stevie Wonder performed for Barack Obama, Trump couldn’t swing a cat without hitting three cover bands and Angelina Jolie’s dad.

Trump Inauguration protests around the World Show all 14 1 /14 Trump Inauguration protests around the World Trump Inauguration protests around the World Activists from Greenpeace display a message reading "Mr President, walls divide. Build Bridges!" along the Berlin wall in Berlin on January 20, 2017 to coincide with the inauguration of Donald Trump as the 45th president of the United State Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World An activist holds up a sign at the "We Stand United" rally on the eve of US President-elect Donald Trump's inauguration outside Trump International Hotel and Tower in New York on January 19, 2017 in New York Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Protesters burn a U.S. flag and a mock flag with pictures of U.S. President-elect Donald Trump outside the U.S. embassy in metro Manila, Philippines Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Filipino protestors hold placcards during a protest rally in front of the US embassy in Manila, Philippines, 20 January 2017. On the eve of President-elect Donald Trump's inaguration as the 45th president of the United States, Filipinos and Fil-Americans held a protest in front of the US embassy in Manila to denounce the incoming US president. Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Hong Kong police officers and security guards look on as an anarchist protester belonging to the Disrupt J20 movement sits after using a heavy duty D-lock and motorcycle lock to chain himself to a railing at the entrance gate to the Consulate General of the United States of America in Hong Kong to protest the inauguration of United States President-elect Donald Trump, Hong Kong, China, 20 January 2017. Two activists were arrested and taken away by Hong Kong police during the demonstration. Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World A banner is unfurled on London's Tower Bridge, organised by Bridges Not Walls - a partnership between grassroots activists and campaigners working on a range of issues, formed in the wake of Donald Trump's election, which aims to build bridges to a world free from hatred and oppression. Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Protesters chain themselves to an entry point prior at the inauguration of U.S. President-elect Donald Trump in Washington, DC, U.S. Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Bridges Not Walls banner dropped from Molenbeek bridge in Brussels, Belgium, 20 January 2017, in an Greenpeace action part of protests Wolrd protest in solidarity with people in the US, the day Donald Trump sworn in as the 45th President of the United States. Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World A woman holds an anti-U.S. President-elect Donald Trump placard during a rally in Tokyo, Japan, Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World A Palestinian protester holds a placard during a demonstration against the construction of Jewish settlements in the occupied West Bank and against US President-elect Donald Trump, on January 20, 2017, near the settlement of Maale Adumim, east of Jerusalem Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Banners on North Bridge in Edinburgh as part of the Bridges Not Walls protest against US President Donald Trump on the day of his inauguration Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World Russian artist Vasily Slonov (L) and his assistant carry a life-sized cutout, which is an artwork created by Slonov and titled "Siberian Inauguration", before its presentation on the occasion of the inauguration of U.S. President-elect Donald Trump, in a street in Krasnoyarsk, Russia Getty Trump Inauguration protests around the World A woman holds a banner during a march to thank outgoing President Barack Obama and reject US President-elect Donald Trump before his inauguration at a park in Tokyo, Japan, 20 January 2017. EPA Trump Inauguration protests around the World Palestinian demonstrators protesting this week against a promise by Donald Trump to re-locate the US embassy to Jerusalem Reuters

Credit where credit is due. There was the rousing performance of 3 Doors Down, the national anthem by teenager Jackie Evancho, and the (oh-so-white choir) performance by Missouri State University. As the DC Fire Department Emerald Society Pipes played, did President Trump wonder where he went wrong? As the Republican Hindu Coalition performed, did he wish that he was back at Trump Tower watching CNN?

The lack of big names, apart from Trump himself, might also have partially accounted for the comparatively sparse crowds along the Mall. In 2009 and 2013, it was packed. In 2017, aerial footage showed that the back sections were almost empty. The front sections were mostly a sea of white and baseball caps.

More performers dropped out or spoke against Trump than those who participated. Charlotte Church, who was asked to perform, said she replied to the invitation with poo emojis. Rebecca Ferguson said she would only perform if she could sing the historically important song Strange Fruit. The Radio City Rockettes from New York did perform – even though at least 13 of the group’s members decided to sit it out.

He has always claimed he was a great unifier. But he couldn’t even cobble together a show consisting of names everyone had heard of.

To his credit, Trump did not mention the lack of red carpet eye-candy. (He might tweet about it later.) He only joked about the threat of rain, and how it would finally prove he had real hair, and that the military generals in his cabinet had looks good enough to be cast in a movie.

US President Donald Trump and wife Melania dance at Liberty Ball

On the big night and during the formalities of the next day, Trump nodded, even sang along, swayed gently from side to side. With all the taxpayer money being spent on the ceremony while millions of Americans were about to lose their healthcare, at least one person was enjoying himself.

Yet the whole affair was very anti-climactic. Like a party without the music, all the pomp, fanfare and American tradition could not hide the lack of familiar faces and good quality entertainment.