By MISTA MISTA

Diplomacy Correspondent

(SINGAPORE) — An historic meeting between Chinese president Xi Jinping and Taiwan’s President Ma Ying-jeou, which took place at an unnamed Singapore restaurant, concluded with only a brief skirmish over which leader would foot the bill, aides said.

The meal marks the first time that leaders from the two countries have knocked chopsticks since Ma’s Kuomintang Party retreated from the Communist China mainland to the island of Taiwan in 1949.

Both sides continue to acknowledge that regional cuisine is a key part of the “One China Policy,“ but disagree about what exactly this means.

As per protocol, the two greeted one another with bourgeois pleasantries, including an “agreeable” discussion about the restaurant’s decor, aides reported.

After viewing the menu, both Ma and Xi agreed that they’d heard the pan-fried goose livers with truffle were “good at this place,” while carefully avoided any remarks that might suggest a concession of sovereignty over any particular dish. Eventually, it was agreed that all sides would just get a few things “for the table.”

The ensuing 88-course banquet was punctuated by lengthy interludes of mutual toasting, to which both sides brought a representative selection of traditional high-strength liquor. Holding aloft a goblet of Moutai, Xi formally declared that, “Taiwan is like a little brother, and I love to hold my little brother.”

Ma acknowledged the compliment, replying, “The ties between us are thicker than even the fattest envelope of cash.”

The night was not without its hiccups, though. On his unsteady return from the bathroom at around 2am, Ma found a flush-faced Xi attempting to pick up the tab, and a minor argument erupted. “China always pays — ask everyone!” Xi loudly insisted, as Ma yanked at Xi’s red tie as the pair exchanged light shoves in front of a terrified waiter.

Following a tense exchange of luxury cigarettes, though, both leaders agreed to observe a carefully worded “two bill” agreement, after which Xi remarked he was feeling a little bloated, and was going to head back to his hotel.

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