Learning an instrument also teaches kids life lessons

Let's start with a typical scene from my household.

I call: "It's time to practice the violin!" I hear: "No!" and disappearing footsteps indicating that my 6-year-old daughter is running to the other end of the house.

This exchange is strikingly similar -- as history is prone to repeat itself -- to what happened 40 years earlier between my father and myself.

Learning an instrument and dealing with stage fright were major growing pains of my childhood. Coming from East Germany, many people might assume the pain I suffered was under the East German dictatorship and political and social suppression. In fact, the most painful memories of my childhood are the daily practice times at the piano with my father. They were full of pain and tears -- far from the educational model practiced nowadays of "having fun" while learning. Certain things just are not fun. For many children learning a musical instrument the daily practice is their first encounter with a work discipline.

Now that I am in the father role, I recognize the pattern of my daughter negotiating every day about duration and necessity of practicing the instrument.

Why am I doing this?

First there are the obvious benefits of knowing music: awareness and knowledge of other cultures and styles, as well as increased understanding of history and traditions. Music can represent the cultural history of the world in a nutshell. I used to make my daughter listen to classical music, known in her words as "Eckart's song." But there is a huge difference between knowing and doing. Actual music making -- playing an instrument or singing -- has a whole set of skills it can teach. The goal is not to make her a professional musician. Here is why I go through the struggle with my daughter every day: to teach her a work ethic and strategic thinking.

Whoever has learned a musical instrument knows how much time, dedication and patience is required. Learning to play new compositions, for example, teaches students that the process of continuous study will bring results in the future, not right away -- something I find very important in the age of instant gratification. For a child to find out that honing a skill takes a long time can teach systematic and strategic learning habits. Even geniuses work hard. Mozart worked hard; Beethoven worked even harder. Beethoven filled notebooks with sketches -- it took more than 200 sketches to finalize the seemingly simple melody of the "Ode to Joy" from his Ninth symphony.

Emotional expression

When playing an instrument or singing you have the chance of using it as a social and emotional outlet. Part of good parenting is to teach ways of expressing emotions in a healthy way. Music provides a nonverbal way of dealing with anger, frustration or happiness. As a troubled teenager in East Germany I started to listen and play the heavenly music of Anton Bruckner, as well as the multi-emotional symphonies of Gustav Mahler.

Creative problem solving

There are physical, mental and emotional challenges to playing and performing. Be it fingering (depending on the size of your hand) or the frequency of breathing (depending on lung capacity) there are many different solutions to a problem that vary from individual to individual. Also, every time you play music you play it differently. Every time you shape phrases the dynamic balances differently. And whenever you play music with others you have to react to your musical partners and surroundings. Every moment of playing music requires split-second decisions to solve immediate challenges. Music teaches us that trial-and-error is a valid means of problem solving as is a meticulously calculated solution or a sudden inspiration.

Training for the moment of performance

After years of practice and tears (yes, that's OK) we have honed the ability not only to perform under pressure and repeat the same music at the same high level again and again, but we have gained leadership qualities and learned how to become a team player. We have given and taken instructions, developed opinions, made difficult decisions and are ready for the ultimate challenge: to be in the limelight and perform better than ever.

Daily practice of the creative and performance processes develop skills that -- if you think about it -- employers are desperately looking for. That's why I will be ready tonight to get into the next fight with my daughter.

Eckart Preu is music director of the Stamford Symphony.