SO RECENTLY HULK'S BEEN TALKING ABOUT A FEW SHOWS THAT ARE WELL-INTENTIONED AND SAYING "THE RIGHT THING," BUT LACKING WHEN IT COMES TO CERTAIN STORYTELLING SKILLS OR EXECUTION. TODAY, HULK WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THE OPPOSITE.

TO BE CLEAR, BLACK MIRROR IS A REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WELL-MADE SHOW. IT'S MOODY, DARK, CANTANKEROUS, AND A GREAT A SHOW-PIECE FOR A LOT OF TALENTED ACTORS AND DIRECTORS. AND LIKE THE BEST ANTHOLOGY SHOWS DEALING IN TOPICAL MORALITY: IT IS AWARE OF "WHAT IT'S TRYING TO SAY" AND OFTEN GOES ABOUT EXECUTING IT WITH RAZOR SHARP FOCUS AND REAL DRAMATIC CHOPS.

THE PROBLEM IS THAT HULK OFTEN THINKS "WHAT IT IS TRYING TO SAY" IS KINDA BULLSHIT.

LOOK, THIS PUTS US SQUARELY INTO THE LARGER CONVERSATION OF SOMETHING THAT IS ESSENTIALLY INARGUABLE. IF SOMEONE ELSE FINDS IT INSIGHTFUL, THAT'S COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY VALID. THIS IS LARGELY A CONVERSATION ABOUT VOICE, INTENT, AND MEANING. AND TO THAT, ALL HULK CAN DO IS MAKE A CASE ABOUT HOW HULK FEELS. AND SINCE IT'S AN ANTHOLOGY SHOW, HULK'S GOING TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH EACH EPISODE AND DIG INTO WHAT THOSE EPISODES ARE SAYING, BEFORE ADDING IT UP TO "THE OVERALL VIEWPOINT" OF THE SHOW ITSELF. AND, OF COURSE, HULK MORE MEANS ALL THIS AS A START OF DISCUSSION. IF YOU FEEL X OR Y IS VALID, HULK WOULD BE DELIGHTED IF YOU SPEAK UP. COOL? COOL.

SO HERE WE GO.

THE NATIONAL ANTHEM

FROM THE START, THIS EPISODE SHOWS HOW VERY EASY IT IS TO FALL INTO THE WORLD OF BLACK MIRROR. CHARACTERS COME TO LIFE WITH VIVID ARTICULATION. THE COMMITMENT TO A SENSE OF REALISM, DETAIL, AND NUANCED PERSONALITY MAKES IT ALL FEEL SO IMMEDIATE AND LIVED-IN. YOU CARE INSTANTLY AS THESE PEOPLE ARE SOON PRESENTED WITH THE HORRORS OF THE TECHNOLOGICALLY ABSURD. IN ESSENCE, IT IS STRONG WRITING AND POWERFUL IN ITS EFFECT OF DRAMATIZATION. YOU WILL NEVER FIND A MORE EMOTIONALLY GUT-WRENCHING EXPERIENCE OF WATCHING A PRIME MINISTER FUCK A PIG ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.

AND TO THIS DAY, HULK HAS NO IDEA WHAT BROOKER IS ACTUALLY CRITICIZING IN THIS EPISODE.

SERIOUSLY. BECAUSE THE ONLY THING IT SEEMS TO REALLY REFLECT IS THE IDEA THAT PEOPLE WILL BECOME TRANSFIXED BY SOMETHING TABOO AND DISGUSTING... TO WHICH, HULK PHILOSOPHICALLY QUESTIONS: IS THIS REALLY A FUNDAMENTALLY FLAWED PART OF HUMAN PSYCHE, ONE EXACERBATED BY TECHNOLOGY, AND WORTHY OF BEING ADMONISHED? ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S ALL BEING ORCHESTRATED AS SOME KIND OF MASSIVE GAME OF TERRORISM?? TO COMPARE, WAS IT ALSO SOME CARDINAL SIN THAT WE CLUNG TO OUR TVS DURING 9/11??? AND IS THE IDEA THAT THE PRINCESS WAS RELEASED EARLIER AND NO ONE SAW SUPPOSED TO BE SOME CRITICAL IRONY??? NO, SERIOUSLY, IS THE MERE HUMAN GAZE AT THESE THINGS SO INDICATIVE OF HUMAN AMORALITY? SAME WITH THE INABILITY TO LOOK AWAY? WHETHER IT IS SHOCK OR HORROR OR CALLOUSLY NOT CARING, IT DOES NOT SEEM TO MATTER. THERE REALLY ISN'T A MORAL ARGUMENT GOING ON HERE THAT ISN'T INSANELY JUDGMENTAL OF SOCIETY'S BASIC UNDERSTANDABLE HABITS. AND WRAPPED IN THE TERRORISM ANGLE, IT'S PRESENTED ON A DRAMATIC LEVEL AS TANTAMOUNT TO YELLING: "Hey look over here at this crazy thing!" AND THEN: "You idiots, you looked over cause I told you to! When really you should have been looking over there!"

THIS BRINGS US TO ONE OF THE FIRST THEMATIC TRADEMARKS OF THE BLACK MIRROR: AND THAT IS: "PARTICIPATION IN MODERN TECHNOLOGY / SOCIETY IS BAD." THAT'S PRETTY MUCH AS NUANCED AS IT GETS AND THIS EPISODE SHOWCASES A LOT OF THOSE KIND OF TRADEMARKS: LIKE THE PATENTED: "You all did a bad thing, so you all deserve the bad thing happen to you!" AND ALSO, KEEP TRACK OF SOME OF THE WEIRD GENDER STUFF ON THIS SHOW. BECAUSE THERE'S THAT WEIRD MOMENT THAT COMES OUT OF NOWHERE WHEN THE PRIME MINISTER LASHES OUT AT LINDSAY DUNCAN, CALLS HER A BITCH AND THEN ACCOSTS HER. AND THERE'S NO REAL MENTION OF IT OR WHAT IT MEANS FOR CONTEXT. AND THEN MOST OF ALL, THERE'S THE WEIRD POWER OF THE LAST SHOT WHERE HIS WIFE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM, SEEMINGLY DISGUSTED BY HIS ACTIONS (HEROIC SACRIFICE?) OF FUCKING THE PIG. IT'S A SEEMINGLY WEIRD DIG AT HIS WIFE WITH AN EQUAL AMOUNT OF JUDGEMENT, LEAVING HULK ASKING: THIS IS WHAT YOU REALLY WANTED TO SAY WITH ALL THIS? THAT'S YOUR LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT SHOT?

BUT IT'S PRECISELY ALL PART OF WHAT MAKES "THE NATIONAL ANTHEM" FEEL SO WEIRD. WHEN HULK GOT A SENSE OF WHERE IT WAS GOING WITH THE GETTING PEOPLE GLUED TO TV'S, HULK FOR SURE THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO GO FOR SOME STRAIGHT-FORWARD METAPHOR ABOUT TABLOID INTERESTS VS. OUR LACK OF PAYING ATTENTION TO SERIOUS ISSUES IN SOCIETY, LIKE WHITE COLLAR CRIME FOR INSTANCE (AS IN THEY WOULD USE THE DISTRACTION TO ROB BANKS OR SOMETHING. YEAH, IT'S HEAVY-HANDED, BUT AT LEAST IT'S CLEAR). INSTEAD, HULK FEELS LIKE IT'S A VAGUE SERIES OF KNEE-JERK REACTIONS TO POPULAR THINGS AND BASIC HUMAN INSTINCT TO BE TRANSFIXED BY WHAT WE REVILE, WHICH IN THE END, JUST RENDERS IT AS SEEMINGLY PURPOSELESS AS THE PAINTER'S PIECE OF NONSENSICAL PERFORMANCE ART ITSELF... ISN'T IT ALL JUST A LITTLE JUVENILE? IT LEFT HULK ASKING THE QUESTION, CHARLIE, WHAT ARE YOU REALLY AFTER HERE? BESIDES ALL OF US?

15 MILLION MERITS

THE SECOND EPISODE GIVES AN UGLIER ANSWER TO THE "WHAT ARE YOU AFTER?" QUESTION. IT PRESENTS A POP-CULTURE-DEPENDENT SOCIETY IN AS STARK AND RIGID TERMS AS POSSIBLE. CITIZENS LIVE IN LITTLE CUBES MADE OF VIDEO SCREENS, RIDE BICYCLES FOR "MERITS" AND SPEND THOSE MERITS ON BAD FOOD, FAKE CLOTHES FOR THEIR MII-LIKE AVATARS, AND MAYBE EVEN SAVE UP ENOUGH FOR A CHANCE TO APPEAR ON "HOT SHOT" (A NAKED STAND-IN FOR AMERICAN IDOL / X FACTOR / WHATHAVEYOU), WHERE YOU CAN BECOME A STAR AND BE REWARDED WITH FAME AND MATERIAL WEALTH... OKAY HULK COULD GO ON, BUT YOU GET IT. IT'S AN OVERT, STARKLY UN-FUNNY PORTRAIT OF CURRENT SOCIETY THAT WOULD FALL IN LINE WITH IDIOCRACY, BUT UNLIKE THAT MOVIE, IT DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO BE FUNNY WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF DUMB PEOPLE LAUGHING AT PUERILE THINGS THAT AREN'T FUNNY, SO THE EPISODE JUST SETTLES FOR BEING GRATING INSTEAD. HULK KNOWS THAT SOUNDS MEAN, BUT IT REALLY IS THE REASON THE EPISODE SUFFERS. STILL, THERE ARE TWO THINGS OF NOTE THAT STICK OUT TO HULK.

FIRST IS THE MOTIVATION FOR BING'S REVENGE AND BIG SPEECH AT THE END - THE JUDGE'S MANIPULATION OF ABI FROM BEING A PERSON WITH "A PRETTY GOOD VOICE" TO INSTANTLY TURNING HER INTO A PORN STAR BECAUSE THERE ARE NO SPOTS LEFT. LOOK, HULK GET'S IT. IT'S TAKING ON THE TROPE OF HOW HOLLYWOOD WILL CHEW AND SPIT WOMEN OUT, ALONG WITH THE WAY PEOPLE FALL INTO THE PORNOGRAPHY INDUSTRY BECAUSE OF SEEMING OPPORTUNITY. ALSO, THERE'S A BIG ARGUMENT TO BE MADE ABOUT HOW CLOSELY THIS SPECIFIC DYSTOPIA EDGES INTO THE PARALLELS OF SEX SLAVERY AND DRUGGING... BUT THE EPISODE REALLY ISN'T INTERESTED IN THOSE ARGUMENTS AND DOESN'T TELL HER STORY. INSTEAD, IT FOCUSES ON THE WAY THIS EFFECTS BING'S MALE PSYCHE, IMPLYING THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN IS TO SEE A WOMAN YOU LIKE BE CORRUPTED AND BE SEXUAL WITH SOMEONE WHO ISN'T YOU. AS DRAMATICALLY PRESENTED, IT'S SAYING THAT'S THE REAL DAMAGE HERE! AND IT ALL FUCKING REEKS OF THE PURITY MYTH.

BUT THIS HORROR OF HORRORS INSPIRES GOOD OLE' BING TO EARN HIS 15 MILLION MERITS BACK, SHOW UP ON HOT SHOTS AND THREATEN TO TAKE HIS OWN LIFE LIVE ON CAMERA. THERE, HE GIVES AN IMPASSIONED, DEEPLY-FELT-, BEAUTIFULLY-ACTED MONOLOGUE ABOUT THE ILLS OF ALL THIS POP-CULTURE BULLSHIT (AGAIN, WITH THE LEVEL OF INSIGHT AND CONVICTION OF YOUR AVERAGE HIGH-SCHOOLER). THE JUDGE SPEAKS UP AND ADMITS THAT THIS, OF COURSE, "SPEAKS TO SOMETHING EVERYONE'S FEELING" AND THEY DECIDE TO REWARD HIS PASSION BY GIVING HIM A PLACE ON ONE OF THE STREAMS AS A NETWORK-LIKE RANTER. AND THERE, BING TAKES HIS PLACE IN CULTURE, SAYING WHAT HE THINKS IS THE TRUTH, BUT FITTING COMFORTABLY WITHIN THE MACHINE. AND AS SEARINGLY DUMB AND OVERT AS ALL OF THIS IS, THE REASON HULK SEES IT AS SOMEWHAT NOTEWORTHY IS BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH IT PERHAPS SEEMS TO REFLECT BROOKER'S FEELINGS ABOUT HIS OWN CAREER.

WHILE THE HEIGHTS OF HIS COLLABORATION WITH CHRIS MORRIS AND REST OF THE BRASS EYE GANG COULD PERHAPS NEVER BE TOUCHED (WHAT A MURDERERS ROW OF TALENT THAT WAS), BROOKER WENT ON TO BE MORE TRADITIONALLY KNOWN FOR THE MORE POPULAR VARIOUS "___WIPE" SERIES. TO WIT, HERE'S A PERFECTLY WRY EXAMPLE:

YOU CAN SEE WHAT HE'S EXPERIENCED AND TRYING TO GET AT HERE. IT'S AN INTERESTING COMPLEX AND THERE ARE ALL THE HINTS OF SELF-LOATHING AND IRONY TO THAT ENDING... BUT... DOESN'T IT FEEL LIKE THERE'S AN ITCH BEING PORTRAYED HERE THAT REALLY ISN'T GETTING SCRATCHED? IN MAKING THE EPISODE SO STARK IN IT'S PRESENTATION AND SPENDING SOOOOOOOO MUCH TIME WITH THE UNFUNNY SOCIETAL RANTING AND THE PURITY MYTH FEAR-MONGERING, IT ACTUALLY LOSES A LOT OF THAT INTERESTING COMPLEXITY. SO THE EPISODE ITSELF ENDS UP FEELING MORE LIKE BING'S IMPASSIONED YET REDUCTIVE SOCIETY-HATING SCREED.

THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF YOU

THIS IS, NO DOUBT, THE STRONGEST EPISODE OF THE FIRST SEASON. IT'S A TIGHT, FASCINATING SCRIPT FROM THE GREAT JESSE ARMSTRONG CENTERING AROUND THE ABILITY TO AUTO-REPLAY ("RE-DOS") ANYTHING FROM YOUR LIFE VIA YOUR OCULAR RECORDING DEVICES. SO, OF COURSE, THE EPISODE IS ABOUT THE WAY THIS EXACERBATES THE WAY COUPLES FIGHT AND MOUNT DISTRUST AGAINST EACH OTHER. AGAIN, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS EPISODE IS SO WELL-EXECUTED. TONY KEBBEL AND JODIE WHITTAKER ARE BOTH EXCELLENT IN IT. AND THE DEPICTION OF JEALOUSY AND INFIDELITY IS SO UGLY AND BRUTAL AS TO STRIKE RIGHT ONE RIGHT IN THE GUT. BUT IN THE END, THERE IS SIMPLY THIS ARGUMENT BEING PUT FORTH BY THE EPISODE...

IT'S THE TECH'S FAULT.

IT REALLY SEEMS TO BE ARGUING THAT THE MOTIVES AND UGLINESS OF HUMAN BEINGS DON'T MATTER SO MUCH, AS IF THEY WOULD JUST BE LITTLE PANGS OF JEALOUSY THAT WOULD FLOAT AWAY. THAT WE WOULD BE ABLE TO LET GO AND LIVE IN THE MOMENT AND CONCENTRATE ON WHAT MATTERS. YOU KNOW, JUST LIKE THE FREE-SPIRITED PERSON WHO GOT HER IMPLANT JACKED AND NEVER WENT BACK (IT'S ALL A CLEAR METAPHOR OF "LIFE IS BETTER WITHOUT MY SMARTPHONE"!). BUT WITH THE TECH, WE ARE SUDDENLY EMPOWERED TO BE DARK RAVENOUS JEALOUS MONSTERS OR, LATER, ONES TRAPPED IN MEMORIES OF LOST LOVE. SO OUR TITLE CHARACTER DOES THE ONLY THING THAT SEEMS RIGHT AND TAKES THE IMPLANT OUT OF HIS HEAD BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IS AT FAULT... BUT IF WE WERE TO TALK ABOUT THE HUMAN NATURE HERE, IS THE THING BEING EMPOWERED HERE REALLY ALL THAT PSYCHOLOGICALLY DIFFERENT FROM SOMEONE HIRING JAKE GITTES IN CHINATOWN?

THIS HELPS REVEAL HULK'S BASIC ISSUE WITH THIS SHOW: THE CORE PROBLEM IS ALWAYS THE TECH ITSELF, NOT THE PEOPLE. SO WHEN THE IMPORTANT PSYCHOLOGICAL QUESTIONS COME UP THEY ARE ACTUALLY IGNORED. IF THIS WERE THE TWILIGHT ZONE, IT WOULD BE A MORALITY TALE ABOUT THE DANGERS AND HYPOCRISY OF JEALOUSY. BUT IN THE WORLD OF BLACK MIRROR, IT GENUINELY SEEMS TO BE ARGUING "YOU SHOULD THROW AWAY YOUR SMART PHONE BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU A WORSE, MORE JEALOUS PERSON." MEANING IT TAKES ALL THESE BEAUTIFULLY TOLD, PERSONAL STORIES AND REDUCES THEM TO NOTHING MORE THAN BEING A LUDDITE. WHICH IS NOT JUST TECHNOPHOBIC FEAR MONGERING, BUT TO HULK, A CLEAR CASE OF MISSING BOTH THE SOCIOLOGICAL AND STORYTELLING POINT: IT SHOULD BE ABOUT THE HUMANS.

BUT WE'LL TALK A LOT MORE ABOUT THAT LATER.

BE RIGHT BACK

MUCH LIKE THE PREVIOUS EPISODE, THIS ONE IS A BEAUTIFULLY TOLD, INTIMATE STORY THAT USES ITS SCI-FI IDEA TO EXPLORE A HUMAN CONCEPT: THIS TIME IT IS GRIEF. AND LOOK, THIS EPISODE IS FLIPPIN' GREAT. IT TACKLES THE TECHNOLOGICAL HYPOTHETICAL HEAD ON AND EXPLORES THE IDEAS HEAD ON, TOO. IT ACCURATELY GRAPPLES WITH SO MANY OF THE EMOTIONS THAT COME WITH GRIEF. HAYLEY ATWELL AND DOHMNALL GLEESON GIVE EXTRAORDINARY, NUANCED PERFORMANCES. IT TRULY IS AN EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATING EPISODE WITH A BRILLIANT IDEA AT THE CENTER AND THEN... THAT ENDING.

LOOK, HULK WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THIS ONE IN THE COMMENTS, BECAUSE IT'S MEANT TO BE PRETTY AMBIVALENT, BUT IT REEEEEEALLY SEEMS LIKE THIS IS A BEGRUDGING NON-STARTER OF AN ENDING. IT WOULD SEEM TO FIT THE METAPHOR OF HOW HUMAN BEINGS ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO KEEP A PIECE OF THE PEOPLE THEY'VE LOST, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING SO WEIRD ABOUT THE PRESENTATION THAT JUST SEEMS SO JUDGING OF HER (ALONG WITH HER JUDGING HERSELF) FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO LET GO... IS THE ARGUMENT THAT HOLDING ONTO PEOPLE IN A SMALL WAY IS BAD? HOW LITERAL IS THIS PART OF THE METAPHOR? OR MAYBE IT'S SAYING SHE CAN'T HELP HERSELF AND IT'S JUST ANOTHER PATENTED ENTRY OF "OH THIS TECHNOLOGY ALLOWS FOR A REALLY SHIT THING" AND NOW PEOPLE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH THEIR GRIEF THE WAY THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO. IT JUST SEEMS SO WHIPLASH INDUCING TO HULK, BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING IT EXHIBITED IN ALL THE STORY LEADING UP TO IT. YOU GO FROM THAT HAUNTING MOMENT ON THE CLIFF TO THIS SCENE WHERE HULK GENUINELY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE INTENTION IS, OTHER THAN TO MAKE YOU THINK TWICE ABOUT EVERYTHING.

WHITE BEAR

AHHH, "WHITE BEAR." AN EPISODE THAT SAYS A LOT OF THINGS WHILE REALLY SAYING NOTHING AT ALL. THE TRUTH IS YOU HAVE TO DIVIDE THIS ONE INTO THE THEMATICS PRESENTED BEFORE THE REVEAL AND AFTER THE REVEAL (LARGELY BECAUSE IT DOESN'T REFINE THE THEMES IN RETROSPECT). AT FIRST IT SEEMS LIKE YOUR USUAL DYSTOPIAN TECHNOPHOBIA - MYSTERIOUS SIGNALS FROM OUR TVS AND CITIZENS PASSIVELY FILMING ALL THESE ACTIVE CRIMES AND PEOPLE BEING SHOT. THERE ARE SURVIVORS OF COURSE (COMPLETE WITH THE WHOLE HIPSTERESQUE RANT ABOUT "SOME OF US WERE UNAFFECTED" BY THE SIGNAL MEANING THEY DON'T FEEL THE OBSESSIVE NEED TO FILM EVERYTHING). AS IT GOES, IT LITERALLY BECOMES A SCI-FI PARABLE ABOUT HOW LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE IS TOO DANGEROUS (NOTE THAT THEY DOUBLE DOWN ON THE THEME HERE TOO, AS IT'S ALSO THE REASON FOR GLEESON DYING IN THE LAST EPISODE, THOUGH TEXTING AND DRIVING IS OBVIOUSLY A REAL HUGE ISSUE). BUT IN THIS EPISODE THEY EVEN EXPRESS BROOKER'S CLEAR PHILOSOPHY OF TECHNOLOGY BEING THE BAD THING, BECAUSE HUMANS BEINGS WERE "ALWAYS LIKE THAT UNDERNEATH. JUST NEEDED THE RULES TO CHANGE." THEN IT TAKES THE NARRATIVE RIGHT TURN TO BECOMING A PARABLE ABOUT... UM... OKAY HULK'S HONESTLY NOT SURE.

DEAR COMMENTERS! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS EPISODE SAYING IN TERMS OF A COHERENT DRAMATIC STATEMENT? BECAUSE IT COMES TOGETHER AS NONSENSE TO HULK. THERE'S CERTAINLY SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY WE GLEEFULLY AND PUBLICLY PUNISH AND PILE ON MONSTERS (THOUGH MOST OF SOCIETY DOESN'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT AND SWEEPS PEOPLE UNDER THE RUG, BUT HEY WHAT DOES THAT MATTER WHEN YOU CAN FEAR-MONGER?). BUT THE SPECIFICS OF HER CRIME AND THE "HOW DO YOU LIKE IT NOW?" MANTRA OF HER PUNISHMENT JUST FEELS SO VAGUE AND CONFUSED. IS IT JUST ABOUT THE WAY SOCIETY HATES MOTHERS WHO DON'T TAKE CARE OF CHILDREN? IS THIS REALLY ABOUT PEOPLE FILMING CRIMES, BUT NOT CARING? IS IT REALLY EQUATING THE CHILD MURDERER WITH THE PASSERBY WHO HAPPENS TO CATCH SOMETHING? DOES THIS TAKE PLACE IN SOME IMAGINED WORLD WHERE THIS FILMING CRIMES THING HAPPENS ALL THE TIME? LIKE... WHAT? WHAT UNIVERSE DOES THIS TAKE PLACE IN WHERE ALL THESE THINGS ARE NOT JUST WORRIES, BUT WORTHY OF THIS CRAZY HYPOTHETICAL COMMENTARY THAT LINKS THEM? IS IT JUST THIS IMAGINED WORST PART OF HUMAN NATURE?

IT FEELS LIKE THIS WEIRD, PARANOID, TONE-DEAF THING, BECAUSE HULK DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT THE FIRST THING HULK THINKS OF WHEN IT COMES TO THE IMPACT OF "CELL PHONES FILMING VIOLENT ACTS" IS HOW THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMMUNITY FINALLY HAS A WAY OF EXPOSING HEINOUS ACTS OF ABUSIVE POLICE POWER THAT HAVE BEEN GOING ON FOR DECADES... BUT HEY, WHY TACKLE SOMETHING ACTUALLY ACCURATE TO SOCIETY'S CONCERNS WHEN YOU COULD DISAPPEAR UP YOUR OWN BUTT WITH SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE AT ALL? AGAIN, IT ALL JUST GOES BACK TO THIS WEIRD MODUS OPERANDI WITH THIS SHOW. IT'S LIKE THERE'S A SOCIOLOGICAL ASSUMPTION BEING MADE THAT WE FILM VIOLENCE AND THAT ACT OF FILMING SEPARATES US FROM OUR FELLOW MAN, OR PREVENTS US FROM HELPING, WHEN REALLY THE VERY THING HE'S CRITICIZING IS ACTUALLY THIS INCREDIBLY SOCIALLY EMPOWERING ACT THAT IS BRINGING LIGHT TO OUR MOST INHUMANE CRIMES... HULK WOULD ACCUSE IT OF BEING OUTRIGHT DISHONEST, BUT THE TRUTH IS HULK JUST DOESN'T THINK BROOKER EVER BOTHERED TO THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THAT. BECAUSE THE SAD THING IS HIS SHOW ISN'T INTERESTED IN THE TRUTH LIKE THAT... IT WILL IGNORE WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING HERE.

THE WALDO MOMENT

THIS EPISODE REALLY MAKES HULK REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE ORIGINAL NATHAN BARLEY PITCH WAS (WHERE IT ORIGINATED AS AN IDEA FROM BROOKER AND MORRIS), BECAUSE THIS IS ANOTHER ONE WHERE HULK IS LEFT ASKING: WAIT, WHAT ARE WE REALLY AFTER HERE?

YOU GET THE LITTLE INTENDED BITS: THE TEXTURE OF HOW MORE PEOPLE WATCH JOHN STEWART FOR JOKES RATHER THAT ENGAGE IN ACTUAL POLITICS. THAT IMPERSONAL, IDENTITY-LACKING ENTITIES LAUNCH RAUNCHY INSULTS AT POLITICAL PEOPLE FROM A SAFE DISTANCE. THAT BUYING INTO THIS WHOLE UNCARING POLITICAL STATE AND WORSHIPPING THE "WALDO CHARACTER" TYPES ARE HOW YOU PUT A SHINY FACE ON THE DYSTOPIAN FUTURE COMING YOUR WAY. THE PROBLEM TO HULK IS THAT THIS JUST FEELS LIKE THE LATE '90S POLITICAL ENNUI THAT GAVE RISE TO THE "BUSH / GORE ARE THE SAME" LINE OF THINKING. YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT SEEMED TO MAKE SENSE IN A FIGHT CLUB OBSESSED, PRE 9/11 WORLD?

THE PROBLEM IS HULK GENUINELY BELIEVES THAT ISN'T THE POLITICAL CLIMATE ANYMORE (NOR WAS IT REALLY EVER). BUT MOSTLY THE EPISODE CAN BE A GAME OF GRAB BAG. EVEN BROOKER RECENTLY COMPARED THE WHOLE WALDO CHARACTER TO DONALD TRUMP, WHICH MAKES SENSE IF YOU'RE ONLY CHARACTERIZING HIM BY HIS EXTREME "JOKING" CANTANKEROUS MANNER. BUT NO, THE REASON DONALD TRUMP ROSE TO POWER WAS THROUGH THE NAKED EXPLOITATION OF RACISM, SEXISM, CLASSISM, AND A WHOLE HOST OF OTHER ISMS. WHICH IS ALSO WHY THE "HOPE / CHANGE" SLOGANS WE SEE WITH WALDO'S DYSTOPIAN FUTURE ARE ALSO SO MUCH A PART OF THIS VAGUE POLITICAL KNEE-JERK REACTIONARY ATTITUDE THAT FEELS VERY OF THE '90S.

LOOK, HULK THINKS THERE'S A LEGIT ARGUMENT TO BE MADE ABOUT THE LACKING EFFECTS OF SATIRE (CHECK OUT MALCOLM GLADWELL'S PODCAST ON THE SUBJECT), JUST AS THERE'S PLENTY TO SAY ABOUT HOW THESE KINDS OF FIGURES OPERATE WITHIN THE POLITICAL SPECTRUM. BUT THIS EPISODE DOESN'T CONGEAL INTO SOMETHING COHERENT, WHICH IS WHY HULK IS SO CURIOUS TO FIND OUT WHAT ITS ORIGINAL INCEPTION WAS. BECAUSE ALL HULK REALLY TAKES AWAY FROM THE EPISODE IS A LOT OF BROW-FURROWING THAT COMES WHEN A POPULAR "FUNNY' CHARACTER ISN'T ACTUALLY FUNNY ON SCREEN. MORE POP CULTURE SCOFFING ("a dog farting tune to happy days.") AND PEOPLE SAYING THE WORD "TWITTER" WITH UTTER CONTEMPT. AND YET ANOTHER WOMAN LETTING DOWN HER SENSITIVE MAN BECAUSE IT MIGHT HURT HER CAREER (IN A WEIRD WAY, WE'RE 6 FOR 6 IN THIS SHOW WITH WOMEN LETTING DOWN THEIR MEN). BUT MOSTLY, THE REAL PROBLEM WITH THE EPISODE IS JUST A LACK OF COMPELLING DRAMA AND STORY. WHICH IS RARE FOR THIS SHOW.

WHITE CHRISTMAS

THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL NEARLY WORKS BECAUSE JON HAMM IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE AND CAN SOMEHOW TIE THIS ALL TOGETHER THROUGH PERFORMANCE ALONE. REALLY. HULK THINKS IT'S ONE OF THE BEST PIECES OF WORK IN HIS CAREER. GO BACK AND WATCH THE WAY HE PLAYS EVERY MOMENT AND THE WAY IT BUILDS TO THE ULTIMATE GAME BEING PLAYED BETWEEN THE TWO OF HIM. HE'S GENUINELY GREAT. AND TO THAT POINT, THE PART WAS WRITTEN BRILLIANTLY, TOO. AND WHEN IT COMES TO ALL THE STORIES BEING EXPLORED IN THIS EPISODE, THERE ARE ACTUALLY A LOT OF INTERESTING OBSERVATIONS ABOUT TECH THAT HULK FOUND INSPIRED, ALL MADE MORE RESONANT THROUGH THE POWER OF HAMM.

BUT IT'S TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE "WHITE MALE DEFAULT" PERSPECTIVE.

NOW, IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S SOME AUTOMATIC, WHOLLY INSIDIOUS THING WITH BROOKER. HE'S TOO GOOD AT CHARACTERIZATION FOR THIS TO BE BLACK AND WHITE. BUT SO MANY OF THE EPISODES TAKE WHAT THEY'RE TACKLING AND ALWAY SEEM TO COME AT IT FROM CARING ABOUT THAT "WHITE MALE DEFAULT" PERSPECTIVE (OR AT LEAST MALE) MORE THAN THAT ANYTHING ELSE. AND IT'S NOT THAT THIS IS INHERENTLY PROBLEMATIC, BUT FOR A SHOW SUPPOSEDLY ENGAGING THE ISSUES OF THE TIME, IT IS DEFINITELY TONE DEAF.

LIKE ARE WE SERIOUSLY GOING TO HAVE AN EPISODE ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE "BLOCKED" AND NOT EVEN BE AWARE OF THE MAIN SOCIAL CONSTRUCT WITH WHICH IT APPLIES: THE INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF WOMEN WHO ARE HORRIFICALLY HARASSED EVERY DAY ON SOCIAL MEDIA? INSTEAD WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT HOW IT'S JUST TOO HARSH A PUNISHMENT FOR THESE AGGRESSIVE DUDES WHO DID WRONG?

NOW, BROOKER'S AT LEAST SEEMINGLY AWARE ENOUGH TO MAKE THESE GUYS DO SKEEVY THINGS. HAMM IS A GROSS PICK-UP ARTIST. RAFE SPALL IS A GUY WHO KILLS LATER OUT OF ANGER AND WHO HAS A SUPER POSSESSIVE "IT'S MY CHOICE TOO!" MOMENT WHEN IT COMES TO HIS GIRLFRIEND'S PROSPECTIVE ABORTION (WHICH COMES OFF REALLY WEIRD AND POSSIBLY SAYS HE'S IN THE RIGHT, BY THE WAY). BUT IT TURNS OUT THE HORRORS OF BLOCKING MEANS HE NEVER FINDS OUT TIL YEARS OF OBSESSION LATER THAT IT WASN'T HIS KID! OF COURSE HIS WIFE WAS CHEATING ON HIM! BECAUSE WOMEN, RIGHT!?

LOOK, HULK GETS THE POINT OF WHAT HE'S GOING AFTER HERE IN TERMS OF TECHNOLOGY'S ABILITY TO DEHUMANIZE, BUT THE STREAK OF DEHUMANIZATION ALWAYS HAS THIS WEIRD UNDERCURRENT OF MEN SUFFERING AT THE HANDS OF WOMEN. IT'S NEVER THE KEY FOCUS, BUT IT'S ALWAYS JUST THERE: FROM THE WIFE NOT RESPONDING IN THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, TO SEXUAL EXPLOITATION OF HIS LOVE INTEREST IN 15 MILLION MERITS, TO THE WIFE ACTUALLY CHEATING IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF YOU, TO THE WOMAN KEEPING HER GRIEF-BOT IN THE ATTIC IN BE RIGHT BACK, TO THE WOMAN FILMING BAD CRIMES (?!) IN WHITE BEAR, TO WOMAN NOT BEING WITH HIM FOR POLITICAL CAREER REASONS IN THE WALDO MOMENT, AND NOW, RIGHT WHEN IT COMES TIME TO EXPLORE THE NATURE OF BLOCKING AND HARASSMENT IN MODERN SOCIETY WE'RE GOING TO DO AN EMOTIONAL UNDERSTANDING ON THESE TWO DUDES AND HOW BLOCKING IS REALLY ABOUT WOMEN DECEPTIVELY HIDING THEIR SECRETS FROM YOU? JEEZY PETES. AND EVEN WHEN THE PARTS OF CRITICISM ARE ON POINT AND IT'S NOT PULLING PUNCHES ABOUT SHITTY BEHAVIOR, IT'S JUST ALWAYS ABOUT HOW THEY ARE THE ONES FACING THE MOST GRIEVOUS CONSEQUENCE.

THIS SHOW ALWAYS FEELS LIKE IT'S ULTIMATELY ABOUT THE VICTIMHOOD OF THE DEFAULT MALE.

OH AND COMMENTERS, IN THE FIRST STORY BEING TOLD, WHAT THE HECK IS HE TRYING TO SAY ABOUT THE IRONY OF HEARING VOICES IN YOUR HEAD? AS IN WHAT'S THE ACTUAL MORAL ARGUMENT BEING PRESENTED WITH NATALIE TENA'S CHARACTER AND ITS COMMENTARY WITH THE DUDE? ULTIMATELY, THIS WHOLE "HEARING VOICES IN YOUR HEAD" THING SEEMS LIKE JUST AN IRONY OF A PHRASING, NOT THE IRONY OF AN IDEOLOGY... ANYWAY IT'S WEIRD. AS ARE THE MOTIVATIONS BEHIND THE ENTIRE EPISODE.

NOSEDIVE

IF WE'RE GOING TO BE JUST STRAIGHT HONEST, THE ENTIRETY OF THIS EPISODE WAS COVERED BETTER BY BOTH BRIDESMAIDS AND THE MEOW MEOW BEANS EPISODE OF COMMUNITY. TO BE FAIR, HULK ALSO FEELS LIKE THERE WAS SOMETHING BETTER ON THE PAGE HERE (FROM WRITERS MICHAEL SCHUR AND RASHIDA JONES), BUT THAT'S PART OF THE PROBLEM OF HOW THINGS ARE BROUGHT TO LIFE BY THE DULLY-PONDEROUS JOE WRIGHT (NOT TRYING TO MAKE A LOW-BLOW, SOMEDAY HULK'S GONNA WRITE THAT COLUMN BOUT HIS WORK). BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER. HULK'S DEEP-TISSUE PROBLEM WITH THE EPISODE ISN'T NEARLY AS INSIPID AS "OTHER THINGS DID IT BETTER," BUT SOMETHING FAR MORE OBVIOUS ABOUT THE THEME: THAT WE'RE ONLY REALLY EXPLORING THE METAPHOR HALFWAY.

BECAUSE THE GREAT IRONY OF SOCIETY IS THAT AS MUCH AS WE DEMAND SOCIAL NICETIES AND FOLLOWING THE RULES, PEOPLE REALLY JUST LOVE BLUNT HONESTY. HECK, THIS WAS LITERALLY ONE OF THE POINTS IN 15 MILLION MERITS. WE DON'T JUST PUT PARAGONS ON THE PEDESTAL. WE PUT "THE GUY TELLIN IT LIKE IT IS" ON A PEDESTAL, TOO. IT'S ALSO THE WHOLE THEORY WITH THE "WALDOS" IF YOU WILL AND IT'S AN INTRINSIC PART OF HUMANITY'S DUAL NATURE IN THIS REGARD. BUT WHILE THE ENDING SEEMS TO POINT OUT THE CATHARTIC NATURE OF ANGER RELEASE, THE VISION OF THIS EPISODE DOESN'T REALLY EVER EXPLORE THAT. IT JUST GOES BEYOOOOOOOND THE CONSTANT AND REPETITIVE NEED TO TAKE DOWN THE SHRILL NICETIES AND SHALLOWNESS OF UPPER CLASS WHITE WOMEN, ESPECIALLY THEIR HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALS OF EXCITEMENT.

TO HULK IT HIGHLIGHTS SOMETHING ABOUT HOW THE SHOW IS SO GOOD AT ARTICULATING THE WAY TECHNOLOGY AFFECTS "THE SMALL INTERACTION," BUT FAILS WHEN IT TRIES TO LOOK AT THE BIGGER SCOPE. FOR INSTANCE, THERE'S THE OBVIOUS POLITICAL ANGLE IN HOW CHINA HAS BEEN FLIRTING WITH THE IDEA OF "CITIZEN SCORES" FOR YEARS NOW, MAKING VERY REAL THE DYSTOPIC NOTION. AND IN JUST 22 MINUTES OF THE MEOW MEOW BEANS EPISODE, WE GET SOMETHING THAT TAKES THE EXACT SAME CONCEIT AND RUNS THE GAMUT OF THEMATIC AFFECTATION: FROM NICETIES TO THE LARGER SOCIETAL CONSTRUCTS OF GOVERNANCE, COMPLETELY WITH THE MUSTARD-FACE REVOLUTION, AND IT SOMEHOW CUTS TO THE BONE IN EVERY DIRECTION WHILE ALSO BEING HILARIOUS. BUT THAT'S THE WEIRDEST THING ABOUT BLACK MIRROR TO HULK. WE NEVER GET THE CUT TO THE BIGGEST IDEOLOGICAL BONE, NOR A LOOK AT THE GIANT SYSTEM AS A COHERENT THOUGHT. IT FOCUSES SMALL ON THE TECH ITSELF AND THE WAYS IT WOULD REALISTICALLY MAKE FOR CERTAIN INTERACTIONS. AND THEME? WE MOSTLY GET IT THROUGH SHOOT-FROM-THE-HIP COMMENTARY THAT COMES IN THIS WEIRD JUDGMENTAL ASPECT OF POP CULTURE WOMEN... WHICH JUST KEEPS HULK ASKING, SHOULDN'T IT BE AIMING BIGGER?

PLAYTEST

AH, TECHNOPHOBIA TURNED UP TO 11. AND TO BE CLEAR HULK LIKES THE DIRECTION IN THE EPISODE A GOOD DEAL, ALONG WITH THE ADDED CONFIRMATION THAT WYATT RUSSELL IS AN ACTOR YOU JUST WANT TO KEEP WATCHING (EVEN WHEN HE'S CLEARLY PUSHING THE LIMITS OF IMPROV). BUT WHAT STARTS OUT WITH A GREAT FIRST ACT TAKES A FEW TOO MANY NARRATIVE TURNS AND ENDS WITH A BIZARRE USE OF THE TRIPLE FAKE OUT, WHEREIN THE SECOND AND THIRD FAKE-OUTS LITERALLY PLAY THE EXACT SAME BASIC FAKE-OUT TWICE? AND IT'S LIKE, OH, AFTER ALL THAT SET-UP SOMETHING THIS PULPY AND AIRLESS IS REALLY WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO?

AGAIN, TO HULK IT'S THIS NARROW TREATMENT OF SOMETHING THAT COULD BE MORE MEANINGFUL. WHAT COULD HAVE REALLY GONE FULL TILT INTO THE HORRORS OF ALZHEIMERS, ENDs UP JUST USING IT FOR DUMB TEXTURE ADMIST A HECTIC TECHNO FEAR-MONGERING ENDING. AND IT JUST SEEMS COMPLETELY TONE DEAF TO WHAT'S HAPPENING IN GAMER CULTURE AND HOW THEY ARE ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN YOUR SAFETY AND, YOU KNOW, *NOT* TRAUMATIZING YOU THROUGH THE POWERFUL USE OF V.R. BUT OF COURSE BROOKER JUST SEES VIDEO GAME COMPANIES ALONG WITH TECH ITSELF AS PART OF SOME EVIL GRAND CONSPIRACY. IN THE END, THERE IS NO REAL COMMENT. JUST THE PERPETUATION OF FEAR. AND YOU MAY SAY "BUT IT'S A HORROR EPISODE!" AND YOU'RE RIGHT... BUT THIS SPEAKS EXACTLY TO A CONVERSATION WE'LL HAVE LATER.

SHUT UP AND DANCE

IF THE LAST WAS TONE DEAF TO REALITY OF GAMES, THIS ONE FEELS COMPLETELY TONE DEAF TO WHAT IS ACTUALLY FUCKING HAPPENING ON THE INTERNET.

LIKE WHITE BEAR, WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE EPISODE IN TWO HALVES IN TERMS OF BEFORE AND AFTER THE REVEAL. THE FIRST HALF MAINLY SEEMS CONCERNED WITH THE NOTION OF "YOUR COMPUTER IS WATCHING YOU JERK OFF!" BUT IT'S OBVIOUSLY GOING AFTER THE NOTION OF INVADING PRIVACY BUT IN STANDARD BROOKER FASHION, IT'S THE DEFAULT MALE FEARS THAT GET ALL THE ATTENTION HERE. THERE'S NO CONVERSATION WHATSOEVER ABOUT THE FREQUENT ABUSE AND SHAMING OF WOMEN, NOR HOW INFINITELY MORE COMMON IT IS. INSTEAD, WHAT GETS TREATED IN THIS SHOW AS "YOU'RE WORST NIGHTMARE" - THE OPPRESSIVE FEAR THAT THE COMPUTER WILL SEE YOUR WEINER - IS THE THING THAT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME TO WOMEN. IT'S COMPLETELY TONE DEAF TO THE PLIGHT OF WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON WITH THE SUBJECT OF PRIVACY AND THE WAY MEN WIELD THIS POWER WITH RIDICULOUS IMPUNITY, ALONG WITH THE SUBSEQUENT SHAMING OF WOMEN AND ALL THE HORRIFIC DOUBLE STANDARDS IT IMPLIES.

BUT THE TONE-DEAFNESS IS ACTUALLY DOUBLED-DOWN WITH THE SECOND TWIST, IT'S ALL ABOUT PEDOPHILES! ... SORT OF. BECAUSE THE MYSTERIOUS GRINNING LULZ GROUP CONTROLLING THIS IS ALSO TAKING DOWN A RACIST EXEC OR WHATEVER, BUT BROOKER IS CLEARY GOING AFTER CALL-OUT CULTURE / MORAL JUDGMENT, ETC. ETC... ONLY HE'S MIXING HIS TARGET GROUPS. LOOK, THERE'S A LOT OF OBSERVATIONS TO BE MADE ABOUT THE DIFFERENT MOTIVES OF VARIOUS GROUPS ON THE INTERNET FROM ANONYMOUS, WHICH YOU DON'T WANT TO JUST LUMP IN WITH GAMERGATE, TO 4CHAN, TO OTHERS GROUPS. THERE ARE A LOT OF WAYS THEY DIFFER, AND YOU DON'T WANT TO PAINT WITH BROAD STROKES. BUT IT IS WITHOUT QUESTION THAT THERE ARE TENDENCIES OF CERTAIN GROUPS TO HATE ON SJW CALL-OUT CULTURE AND FREQUENTLY ABUSE WOMEN WRITERS, STEALING AND POSTING "NOODZ," ALONG WITH PARTICIPATING IN COMMUNITIES THAT ACTUALLY AID AND ABETT (OR AT LEAST TOLERATE) A LOT OF CHILD PORN USE (TO THE POINT THAT ITS FREQUENCY IS ABBREVIATED AND REFERRED TO AS C.P.). THESE ARE THE COMMON TROPES OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN IT FOR THE LULZ.

SO HULK'S QUESTION IS OBVIOUSLY THIS: CHARLIE BROOKER, WHAT FUCKING INTERNET ARE YOU ACTUALLY ON? SERIOUSLY, THIS EPISODE KIND OF OUTRIGHT PISSES HULK OFF. IT GETS TO THE ESSENTIAL PROBLEM WITH THE WHITE MALE DEFAULT VIEW, BECAUSE IT'S JUST SO CONCERNED WITH GOING DOWN THESE HYPOTHETICALS OF "THE WAY THIS ALL CAN HURT ME" INSTEAD OF LOOKING AT THE ACTUAL SITUATION AND OBSERVING HOW IT ACTUALLY WORKS AND HOW IT'S HURTING OTHER PEOPLE RIGHT THIS SECOND. TO HULK, IT'S THE HEIGHT OF SOLIPSISM, BECAUSE ALL THE TOUCHSTONES FEEL SO REMOVED FROM THE REALITY THAT MOST OF US KNOW.

MEN AGAINST FIRE

THIS EPISODE HULK HONESTLY DOESN'T HAVE MUCH TO SAY ABOUT. IT'S SUPER CLEAR IN ITS METAPHOR. IT FEELS WEIRDLY DIRECTED AT TIMES, WHAT WITH THE WEIRD FOURSOME DREAM AND HULK REALIZING IT'S THE FIRST USE OF GRATUITOUS NUDITY ON THE SHOW (HULK ALSO REALIZED IF THEY'RE GOING TO GO THERE, THEY COULD BE MORE TARGETED AND INTERESTING WITH IT). BUT HULK FOUND HULK-SELF WITH A LOT OF LITTLE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INTENTION OF SOME STUFF.

THE MAIN ONE BEING, IS THIS SHOW IMPLYING WE CHOOSE WHETHER OR NOT WE HAVE PTSD THROUGH OUR PHILOSOPHICAL ADOPTION OF BLACK AND WHITE THINKING? AGAIN, THEY'RE MAKING "THE LIE" PRETTY CLEAR, BUT HULK KEEPS GETTING TRIPPED UP ON THE MECHANICS HERE, AND NOT SO MUCH THE INTENTION. LIKE WHAT'S THE METAPHOR OF THE CIVILIANS NOTING SEEING THEM AS ROACHES, AGAIN? IS THAT REALLY ACCURATE TO HOW SOCIETY THINKS? THERE ARE JUST THESE THINGS THAT REALLY FEEL OFF IN SOME WAYS AND HULK MOSTLY WANTS TO GET SOLDIERS OPINIONS ON THE NARRATIVE MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE. BUT IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE HULK THINKS THERE IS A CLEARER STATEMENT TO BE MADE WERE IT NOT FOR THE CENTRAL MANTRA OF THE SHOW. THE ENDING IS SO DEVOTED TO HIM BEING A VICTIM OF THE TECHNOLOGY THAT IT'S HARD TO PARSE OUT WHAT THE CHARACTER'S CHOICE ACTUALLY MEANS.

HATED IN THE NATION

YET ANOTHER EPISODE THAT IS RATHER WELL MADE WITH GREAT PERFORMANCES TO BOOT. AND WHAT STARTS AS REALLY NICE WHODUNNIT PROCEDURAL, TURNS INTO A SPRAWLING STORY ABOUT HATE MOBS, UNMONITORED A.I., AND GRAND SURVEILLANCE. BUT WE GET THE USUAL BROOKER PERSPECTIVE IN THAT IT'S ALL TERRIFYING. AND OF COURSE BROOKER'S VERSION OF A HATE MOB COMES BACK TO CALL-OUT CULTURE AND SEEMS VAGUELY LIKE HE'S HINTING AT SOME IRONY ABOUT SJW TYPES CASUALLY THREATENING LIVES. SURE, HE DOESN'T USE THAT LANGUAGE, BUT IT FEELS EVIDENT IN THE TREATMENT OF THE SCHOOL TEACHER. IT'S, LIKE, HINT: THOSE ARE NOT THE PEOPLE MAKING DEATH THREATS. THE EPISODE REALLY DOESN'T SEEM TO KNOW THE CRUCIAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SHAME MOBS AND HATE MOBS (BOTH ARE DESERVING OF EXPLORATIONS AND CRITICISM, BUT THE AMORPHOUS LUMPING FEELS ODD). AND ONCE AGAIN WE GET A CRIMINAL MASTERMIND WHOSE "TEACH THE WORLD A LESSON" MANTRA FEELS WEIRDLY CLOSE TO WHAT BROOKER IS ACTUALLY ARGUING FOR IN THE EPISODE, JUST IN TERMS OF IDEOLOGY NOT VIOLENCE. BUT RATHER THAN HAVING CONVERSATIONS ABOUT ALL THESE THINGS, THE MAJOR REACTION FROM THE AUDIENCE ACROSS THE BOARD WAS SENTIMENTS OF "I'm deleting my twitter and all my social media!" AND THAT'S A VALID REACTION BECAUSE IT'S LITERALLY THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE EPISODE. IT IS JUST TRYING TO SCARE YOU INTO DOING THAT... WHICH BRINGS HULK TO THE ULTIMATE POINT.

BLACK MIRROR IS A HORROR SHOW. NOT A SCI-FI SHOW.

IT EXPLORES SCI-FI CONCEPTS, BUT THE LITERAL PHILOSOPHY OF THE SHOW IS THAT IT IS THE TECH'S FAULT. ALWAYS. AND THUS THE INTENTION OF EVERY EPISODE ENDS UP BEING REDUCED TO THE OBLIGATORY "TECHNOPHOBIC SCARE." AND THE ROTE MECHANICS OF HOW THIS SCARE IS ULTIMATELY DEPLOYED ARE OFTEN NO DIFFERENT THAN HOW '80S SLASHERS USED SEX AND DRINKING TO SCARE TEENAGERS. IT REALLY IS JUST SIMPLE PSYCHOLOGICAL MATH: ANXIOUS ABOUT STARTING SEX AND DRINKING BECAUSE IT FEELS DANGEROUS? WELL, GUESS WHAT? YOU DO IT AND JASON IS GOING TO SLICE YOU OPEN! YOU WERE RIGHT! IT IS DANGEROUS! BROOKER'S JUST DOING THAT WITH EVERY NEW HOUSEHOLD TECHNOLOGY AT YOUR DISPOSAL. SURE, THERE'S A 1000 TIMES MORE NUANCE IN THE ACTUAL EXECUTION OF THIS SHOW WHEN COMPARED TO YOUR STANDARD SLASHER, BUT THE BROAD THEMATIC GOALS ARE THE EXACT SAME. WHICH IS WHY THE SHOW KEEPS FEELING LIKE THE CONSERVATIVE WHITE GUY TRYING TO SCARE YOU INTO ABSTINENCE. FOR ALL THE INSIGHT, IN THE END, HE JUST WANTS YOU TO BE TERRIFIED OF USING TWITTER.

AND UNLIKE THE BEST OF SCI-FI STORYTELLING, WE'RE NOT HAVING A CONVERSATION ABOUT WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON.

THIS IS CRITICAL TO HULK. BECAUSE GREAT SCI-FI IS LARGELY ABOUT METAPHOR AND HUMAN NATURE. TO GO TO THE GREATEST HITS LIST, 2001 EXPLORES THE RELATIONSHIP OF TECHNOLOGY AND OUR ASPIRATION TO GODLINESS. THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL IS A DESPERATE PLEA AGAINST THE COLD WAR PSYCHE. ROBOCOP TAKES ON THE CORRUPTION AND DOWNFALL OF THE AMERICAN CITY. DISTRICT 9 IS A HUMANE EXPLORATION OF APARTHEID. INCEPTION IS ABOUT A MEDITATION ON THE LONG SHADOW OF GUILT. THE LIST GOES ON AND ON. BUT THE BEST EXAMPLE FOR COMPARISON IS, OF COURSE, THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

TO BE CLEAR, IT IS ONE OF THE BEST SHOWS EVER MADE. LIKE EVERY ANTHOLOGY IT HAS STRONGER AND WEAKER EPISODES, BUT IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST INCISIVE SHOWS ABOUT HUMAN NATURE ON THE PLANET. EVERY WEEK, WE WOULD DELVE INTO WHAT AMOUNTED TO A MORALITY PLAY. THESE HYPOTHETICAL, FANTASTICAL SITUATIONS PUT US IN INCREDIBLE SPOTS WHERE WE HAVE TO QUESTION OURSELVES HONESTLY. AND THE ANSWERS? ALWAYS DRAMATIZED AND EXPLORED WITH CLARITY, OFTEN NOT TO WHATEVER NARRATIVE TWIST SEEMED THE MOST CRAZY, BUT TO THE ULTIMATE POINT OF THE STORY'S DEEP THEMATIC INTENT. THE TRUTH IS BLACK MIRROR IS ACTUALLY GREAT AT CHARACTERIZATION, TOO. WHICH IS WHY IT SUCKS SO DAMN MUCH WHEN EVERY EPISODE SEEMS TO CLUNK BACK TO "IT'S TWITTER'S FAULT" INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY SAYING SOMETHING.

AND LOOK, EVERYONE IS COMPLETELY FREE TO ENJOY IT FOR THE HORROR SHOW THAT IT IS. THERE IS NOTHING THAT SAYS BLACK MIRROR HAS TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT IT DOES. THERE IS NOTHING THAT SAYS IT CAN'T BE SCARY ABOUT MODERN TECHNOLOGY, OR BE LIKE OTHER TRADITIONAL SCI-FI, OR THAT IT HAS TO BE A BUNCH OF MORALITY TALES.

THE PROBLEM FOR HULK IS THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT'S DOING OUT THE SIDE OF ITS MOUTH.

WHILE SEPERATE FROM THE ULTIMATE POINT, EVERY EPISODE IS LITTERED WITH PRECISELY THIS KIND OF COMMENTARY AND SCI-FI APPROACH, BUT IT'S ALL TAKING THE BACKSEAT. AND THOSE THEMES AREN'T EXACTLY ONES HULK FINDS INSIGHTFUL. SERIOUSLY, LET'S LOOK BACK AT ALL THE WEIRD THEMATIC POINTS STACKED ON TOP OF EACH OTHER. BROOKER KEEPS SEEMING TO SAY: PEOPLE WHO WATCH POPULAR TV ARE THE WORST. WOMEN HAVING SEX WITH NOT YOU IS THE WORST. PARTICIPATING IN SOCIETY SUCKS, EVEN IF YOU'RE CALLING IT OUT. TECHNOLOGY IS ALWAYS EVIL AND IS WHAT ALLOWS YOU TO EXERCISE YOUR JEALOUSY. TECHNOLOGY WON'T HELP YOU FACE GRIEF. UH, SOME WEIRD THING ABOUT WOMEN FILMING CHILD MURDERS. TECHNOLOGY SEPARATES US FROM POLITICAL CONVERSATION AND ALSO WOMEN WILL IGNORE YOU FOR THEIR CAREERS. TECHNOLOGY PREVENTS THE WHITE MEN FROM BEING FORGIVEN FOR THE BAD THINGS THEY DO AND ALSO FROM FINDING OUT THE LIES OF WOMEN. TECHNOLOGY GAMEFIES AND EMPOWERS WOMEN'S HIGH-PITCHED SOCIAL BULLSHIT. VIDEO GAME COMPANIES ARE TRYING TO TRAUMATIZE YOU. YOUR COMPUTER IS WATCHING YOU MASTURBATE AND AREN'T WE ALL TERRIFIED OF BEING UNFAIRLY CAUGHT FOR WHATEVER OUR OWN VERSIONS OF PEDOPHILIA ARE? (WAIT, WHAT?). TECHNOLOGY WILL PREVENT SOLDIERS FROM HAVING THE MORALLY-NECESSARY REALITIES OF PTSD (WAIT, DOUBLE WHAT??). AND POINTING OUT PEOPLE WHO DO WRONG IS WRONG AND HATE MOBS ARE COMPRISED OF HOLIER THAN THOU SJWS.

OKAY, THAT MAY SEEM LIKE AN INSANELY REDUCTIVE WAY OF PUTTING IT, AND THAT'S ABSOLUTELY TRUE. THAT PARAGRAPH IS THE MEAN, REDUCTIVE VIEW OF WHAT'S BEING SAID. BUT NOT ONLY CAN HULK LEGITIMATELY MAKE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE ARGUMENTS (AND DID ABOVE), BUT HULK'S POINT IS TO SHOW HOW THIS PARAGRAPH'S MEANNESS IS REFLECTIVE OF THE TONE OF THE SERIES ITSELF. THIS VOICE IS THE CANTANKEROUS VOICE OF BLACK MIRROR. AND AT THIS POINT, HULK FEELS PRETTY SAFE IN SAYING THAT BROOKER IS EXPLORING EXTREME HYPOTHETICALS ABOUT THE WAYS PEOPLE GIVE HIM SHIT ON TWITTER (AMONG OTHER THINGS). HE'S SO DEFAULT MALE, BUT HE HAPPENS TO BE REALLY GOOD AT EXPRESSING ALL OF IT. HE REMINDS HULK OF JONATHAN FRANZEN IN A LOT OF WAYS, SO HAPPY TO PLAY THE ROLE OF THE LUDDITE. BUT WORSE, BROOKER ADAMANTLY TALKS ABOUT NOT BEING A LUDDITE. HE TALKS ABOUT HIS GEEKY INTEREST IN TECHNOLOGY AND HIS OWN DEPENDENCE ON IT. HE TALKS ABOUT THESE THINGS WITH WIT AND HUMOR AND CANDOR...

SO WHY IS HIS SHOW MAKING TECHNOPHOBIC ARGUMENTS THAT ARE NO BETTER THAN THE RANTS YOU'LL SOMETIMES HEAR FROM THE WORST DEMONIZATION OF A HIPSTER? IS IT JUST CYNICISM FOR THE SAKE OF CYNICISM? HOW SHOULD CYNICISM BE EXPLORED CINEMATICALLY ANYWAY? AND WHY IS IT THAT BROOKER'S BRAND OF CYNICISM FALLS SO FLAT WHEN HE'S SO GOOD AT TELLING STORIES? AND BEYOND THAT, HULK'S FRIEND FILMCRITZIPPERMOUTH ONCE SAID THE MEASURE OF ANY ARTIST IS THE SIMPLE QUESTION: "What are you in awe of?" HULK WONDERS DEEPLY WITH REGARDS TO CHARLIE BROOKER, WHAT IS HE IN AWE OF?

WHICH BRINGS US TO THE EPISODE THAT ANSWERS ALL THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE:

SAN JUNIPERO

SIMPLY PUT, THIS MIGHT BE ONE OF THE BEST SCI-FI MOVIES / STORIES / WHATEVERS THAT HULK HAS EVER SEEN. AND CHANCES ARE YOU THINK THAT TOO. EVERYONE HAS BEEN GOING NUTS FOR IT AND FOR GOOD REASON: IT'S A FULL-ON MASTERPIECE ON THE LEVEL OF ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND. AND AS HULK WAS LAUDING THE EPISODE ON TWITTER, A FEW FOLKS COMMENTED THAT OF COURSE HULK LIKED IT IN COMPARISON TO OTHER EPISODES BECAUSE IT IS A POSITIVE, OPTIMISTIC STORY VS. THE COLD DARK CYNICISM OF THE SHOW HULK SURELY HATES...

BUT HULK WOULD ARGUE THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL.

FOR STARTERS, MOST OF HULK'S FAVORITE WORKS FEATURE THAT JET-BLACK CYNICISM AND CUT-TO-THE-BONE DARKNESS. LIKE, HULK'S A BIG LARS VON TRIER AND ARONOFSKY FAN. HULK STILL THINKS ABOUT LILYA-4-EVER ALL THE TIME. OR THE COMIC DARKNESS OF THAT HAUNTING FOUR LIONS ENDING. OR HOW ABOUT THE POETIC FINAL MARCH IN THE LAST SEASON OF BLACK ADDER. AND THEN THERE'S THE RAZOR-SHARP, LOOMING EXISTENTIAL HILARITY OF EVERYTHING THE COEN BROTHERS HAVE EVER DONE. THIS LIST COULD GO ON FORVER, BUT THE POINT IS THERE IS A KIND OF CENTRAL FUNCTION TO ALL THESE FORMS OF CYNICISM, AND THEY ARE SO DEEPLY RELATED TO THE MARRIAGE OF THEME AND CHARACTER WITHIN THOSE STORIES. AND IF WE'RE TALKING ABOUT BROOKER, THERE MAY NOT BE BETTER ASPIRATION COMPARISON OF ONE WITH "CYNICAL INSIGHT" AND FUTURISM THAN THE GREAT STANLEY KUBRICK. BETTER YET, YOU CAN SEE THE COMPLETE ARGUMENT MADE WITH A SINGLE COMPARISON. BECAUSE PERHAPS NO FILM HAS SO CAPTURED THE LURID HILARITY OF CYNICISM BETTER THAN THE FINAL SHOT OF A CLOCKWORK ORANGE AND THE PROCLAMATION OF ""I was cured!" IT'S A PURE CINEMATIC STATEMENT THAT SOMEHOW MANAGES TO ENCAPSULATE THE ENTIRE THEME OF THE STORY BEING TOLD.

BUT IF THAT SAME STORY WAS BEING TOLD WITH THE BLACK MIRROR PHILOSOPHY, THE ENDING WOULD BE ABOUT HOW THE MACHINE THE GOVERNMENT USED ON ALEX WAS BAD.

THAT'S THE WHOLE KIT AND KABOODLE FOLKS, RIGHT? IT'S NOT ABOUT CYNICISM OR OPTIMISM, IT'S ABOUT STORY FUNCTION AND INGRAINING IT INTO THE VERY THEMATIC PURPOSE OF YOUR ART. BECAUSE IF YOU'RE CONSTANTLY TRYING TO MAKE SOME FINAL SCARY POINT ABOUT THE TECH, THEN YOU'RE NOT MAKING A POINT ABOUT THE PEOPLE. AND YOUR CHARACTERS ARE WHAT THE STORY LIVES AND DIES BY. SO IT'S THE LEAST INTERESTING CONVERSATION TO HAVE WITHIN THE STORY. SURE THE FEAR MONGERING TECHNOPHOBIA "WORKS," BUT IN THE END IT'S AS INSIGHTFUL AND MEANINGFUL AS THE AFOREMENTIONED '80S TEEN SLASHERS. JUST BECAUSE IT'S THE THING YOU'RE MOST AFRAID OF, DOESN'T MEAN IT'S TRUE OR SPEAKS TO SOMETHING REAL.

IT'S JUST EXPLOITING YOUR PSYCHOLOGY INSTEAD OF PUTTING YOU IN TOUCH WITH IT.

SO THE MIRACLE OF SAN JUNIPERO IS NOT THAT HE'S TELLING AN UPLIFTING STORY, IT'S THAT HE'S FINALLY JUST GETTING OUT OF THE WAY AND LETTING IT REALLY, TRULY BE ABOUT THE CHARACTERS. HE'S FREE FROM THE SHACKLES OF HIS OWN SHOW AND RESTRICTIVE MANTA. HE'S ALLOWING THE MOMENTS THAT MEAN SOMETHING RESOUND AND GO FORTH. WHENEVER HULK THINKS OF THAT BEAUTIFUL LINE OF HER BEING READY "For the rest of it" HULK CAN FEEL THE WEIGHT OF THEIR ENTIRE STORY, RIGHT THROUGH THE INCREDIBLE USE OF BELINDA CARLISLE. AND WHAT THIS DOES IS MAKE HULK THINK BACK TO THE FACT THAT THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER ENDINGS TO THESE EPISODES WHERE, WHETHER DARK OR LIGHT, CYNICAL OR OPTIMISTIC, IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE CHARACTER CENTRIC. IT COULD BEEN ABOUT WHAT THEY WERE DEALING WITH INSTEAD OF THE BOOGEYMAN NOTION OF WHAT THEY WERE VICTIMIZED BY, AND THUS WHAT WE THE AUDIENCE SHOULD BE SCARED OF. AND WHEN YOU GO BACK AND LOOK AT WHY CERTAIN EPISODES OF BLACK MIRROR FLOURISH IN COMPARISON TO OTHERS, YOU'LL NOTICE THAT THE MOST CHARACTER-DRIVEN ONES THAT FREE FROM THE TECHNOPHOBIC MANTRA ARE ALSO THE STRONGEST. AND IT'S BECAUSE IT COMES DOWN TO SIMPLE WRITING FUNCTION AND THUS REVEALS A FACT THAT IS CLEAR TO HULK:

CHARLIE BROOKER IS BETTER AT WRITING HUMANIST SCI-FI EXPLORATIONS THAN HE IS AT WRITING THE JET-DARK CYNICISM AND MODUS OPERANDI THAT DEFINES HIS OWN SHOW. MEANING HE'S AT HIS BEST WHEN HE'S A HUMAN BEING WHO IS SIMPLY INTERESTED IN OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.

BUT REALLY, THAT'S WHEN WE'RE ALL AT OUR BEST.

<3 HULK