SEPARATED PARENTS should not share custody of babies or toddlers under two, according to guidelines released this week by a national infant welfare group.

''Prior to the age of two years, overnight time away from the primary care-giver should be avoided, unless necessary'' according to the Australian Association for Infant Mental Health's ''guidelines for protecting the very young child's sense of comfort and security''.

A job for two … author Bunny Banyai and her three-year-old daughter, Clementine, at home in Northcote, Melbourne. Ms Banyai regrets not sharing overnight stays with Clementine's father. Credit:Penny Stephens

The guidelines recommend that non-custodial parents, nine out of 10 of whom are fathers, should instead see children under two during the day, up to three times a week, gradually phasing in overnight visits after the second birthday. Families fighting custody battles in the Family Court should not share custody until the child is three, according to the guidelines.

''The infant's voice can be very soft in the often highly conflictual family court arena and we hope that these guidelines will give it some strength and volume,'' the association's Victorian chapter president, Nichola Coombs, said.