I apologize that I am unable to use a real name for this post, its just something we need to accept at this time. So just as the man with the yellow hat, this post will need to remain nameless. Like anything else I publish, I’m just trying to raise awareness to the real problems we face, and how we can grow in the future. I gave Curious George moderation rights and if he feels the need to respond, I’m sure he will. Thank you George.

I apologize that I am unable to use a real name for this post, its just something we need to accept at this time. So just as the man with the yellow hat, this post will need to remain nameless. Like anything else I publish, I’m just trying to raise awareness to the real problems we face, and how we can grow in the future. I gave Curious George moderation rights and if he feels the need to respond, I’m sure he will. Thank you George.

One such mechanech, who has been in the field for many years, goes by “Curious George. You can find him commenting on my blog sometimes, usually confronting those with distorted views of yiddishkeit. George, like so many others, has been there from the beginning, helping and encouraging me along the way. One thing I noticed about him, was his keen insight into our current times and a good vision of where we as orthodox Jews are heading into the future. As I am off on summer break, and besides I think people need to hear from other voices, I asked George if he can write about this topic for me and my blog audience.

One such mechanech, who has been in the field for many years, goes by “Curious George. You can find him commenting on my blog sometimes, usually confronting those with distorted views of yiddishkeit. George, like so many others, has been there from the beginning, helping and encouraging me along the way. One thing I noticed about him, was his keen insight into our current times and a good vision of where we as orthodox Jews are heading into the future. As I am off on summer break, and besides I think people need to hear from other voices, I asked George if he can write about this topic for me and my blog audience.

While many have encouraged me to continue with my blog, the biggest support I get comes from mechanchim. This might come as a shocker to some, but the most encouraging letters I receive are from rabayim that have a good grasp of today's teenagers and the world they face. My reasoning is, that while they are not allowed to voice their own opinion they are happy that someone else is.

While many have encouraged me to continue with my blog, the biggest support I get comes from mechanchim. This might come as a shocker to some, but the most encouraging letters I receive are from rabayim that have a good grasp of today's teenagers and the world they face. My reasoning is, that while they are not allowed to voice their own opinion they are happy that someone else is.

Where Are We Heading? By: Curious George

Over the past decade or so the Yeshivish Olam has been experiencing some turbulence. As individuals within the community we are pulled in many directions and aren’t quite sure which way to turn.

Economics – Many young men and women are dissuaded from attending college. Everyone is told to attend Kollel or be a Kollel wife. This works out well for many who come from wealthy homes. At some point down the road, the father or father-in-law takes the young family under his wings and all is well. But for others, somewhere around age 30 with a few young children, a financial crisis is suddenly upon them. How to pay tuition? How to feed the ever growing family? As the family grows, the needs grow. It only gets worse, very quickly. If there is a special needs child or two, forget about it! Such things have no place in a budget that can barely survive. Braces? Oy vey! Etc… Paying for Seminary? Impossible! Weddings? Completely impossible!





Shidduchim for the top buchrim with high expectations – Some years ago it was reported that a group of Mechanchim approached the Roshei Yeshiva present at a Torah U’Mesorah with a complaint. They asked the Roshei Yeshiva why it was that the top bochrim are not being recommended to their daughters. True, they didn’t have any money and it would be difficult for the new young couple to make it in Kollel, but they wanted to know how it could be that by following the very instructions those same Rebbeim gave them (choosing the Kollel/chinuch path), they were now going through a crisis directly related to the advice of those same Rebbeim. “You told us to choose this path, and now when somebody suggests our daughter for one of your talmidim, you don’t think it’s wise???”





Hashkafa – One day about a decade ago, we woke up to a brave new world. A world where hashkofos that were kosher the day before, were declared treif! First My Uncle the Netziv wasn’t reprinted, then Rabbi Nosson Kaminetzly’s book was banned, then Nosson Slifkin’s books, then concerts. Rules about tznius started getting ramped up, things started getting intense. Rabbi Aryeh Carmel was the one who brought us Michtav MeEliyahu, a staple hashkafa sefer in many yeshivish homes. But somehow, at the end of Rabbi Carmel’s life, some things from Michtav M’Eliyahu were no longer “mainstream”. When it came to Rabbi Slifkin ’s books, after some give and take, we heard a psak that the Rambam and other Rishonim may have held certain views and for them it was OK, but for us those view are heresy –even if yesterday we relied on them and were taught them by our Rebbeim. Does a person just flip a hashkafa switch in his brain and that’s all there is to it? Was this fair to our tzibbur? Carmel





Education or Enforcement? – Many kids are very turned off by the way Yiddishkeit is being taught to them. I’ve watched a principal on numerous occasions, walk up to a kid and shout the words of Ashrei to him, as if to tell him “Nu, daven!” Wow… Very inspiring! I’ve heard of solid frum girls being ostracized for sock infractions! Socks that completely cover the leg and the skirt covers the rest. But it’s a sock and not tights! Have we lost our minds??? Parents calling up the principal to snitch about tznius infractions that they witnessed off campus. Very nice, very nice! And we wonder why so many kids are uninspired and bitter...





Technology and Culture – These are two separate concepts but in our generation these two issues have become intertwined. There’s the internet, social media, blogs, online banking and shopping, online Torah, online shidduchim, online college, etc… So many options. Of course there are the obvious and inherent dangers of the internet as well. Our community has not been very good at absorbing the dramatic changes that have swept the world. We have tried to build walls around that which you can’t. Many have just ignored the calls for no internet. We have yet to see the impact of the Asifa and the post-Asifa debacle. Seems to me VIN still has plenty of readers, as do the frum online papers in Brooklyn and Lakewood.

So what’s right and what’s wrong? Do the people at the helm understand the facts on the ground well enough to guide us? Who is providing them with these facts?

Which brings us to…





Our Leadership System – Were there always askonim managing our leaders? I don’t think so! For at least 20 years we have askonim who actually interrupt our Gedolim, trying to manipulate their psokim. They fly around the world giving part truths to one Rav and flying to the other one with other half truths, stitching the pieces together to further some hidden agenda. Many of us have personally witnessed it. I know some very important Rabbonim who have witnessed it. So we, who have been brought up to respect and follow our leaders, are left wondering what to do and where to turn! Can I read this book or can’t I? Based on what was the book banned? Can I attend this concert or not? And what if I feel that the advice I was given about endless years in kollel adversely affected my family? Do I tell my children to follow the same path? Was there a good answer the Roshei Yeshiva provided those Rebbeim at the Torah Umesorah convention? (That one is really tricky. Are you allowed to say they were flat out wrong?)





Where we are Today – The sum total of all these questions and I’m sure I’m leaving some out, is that many people who in their heart of hearts are really quite frum, can no longer live by the status quo. They have no interest in throwing away Yiddishkeit, chas v’sholom. Moshe Emes V’Toroso Emes, but somewhere, somehow, things got crazy. We need another approach, but one that is true to our Torah.





The next generation of young married couples may send their kids to the same schools they went to, (they really are quite frum, B”H!), but will allow their kids much more interaction with the world than they were allowed. The old way was too stifling and it contributed to all the problems listed above. But what do they allow? What do they encourage? They wish, they dream and they yearn, that there were leaders who would understand them - leaders who would show them how the world they currently live in, the world that they cannot escape, is a world where the Torah can guide them. This new generation is waiting for such leaders to emerge.





In the 1800s Rav SR Hirsch taught his generation that the Torah can infuse their lives, in the culture they lived in, with kedusha. He taught that the world around them was davka put there to be uplifted. Life can be very Toradik, even out of Kollel! (plus you can pay the bills too. Amazing!) We need someone like Rav SR Hirsch to emerge to show us how to pull this off in our generation!





In the meantime, we hobble along. The new generation is tired of the edicts and has become very cynical. That’s a shame. That’s not very Toiradik, and deep down we know it. The new generation often ignores its leaders, because it doubts they are leading – either because they are being manipulated or because they believe we are still living in a world where we respond to our fears by building higher and higher walls. Ignoring the leaders is also not very Toiradik and deep down we know it. Aren’t there any leaders we can talk to who understand us? Where are you? Who are you?



