Washington DC: Election Day 2013 went off with minor casualties yesterday, as all current members of the United States House of Representatives and the Senate were victorious in protecting their places in government legislation.

The fact that this was an off-year election for the legislative branch, when only special elections were held to replace members of Congress who had resigned or passed away, did nothing to quell the excitement in the Capitol Building as hundreds of politicians celebrated keeping their jobs for another year.

“They [Congress] figured the public would sweep every single one of them out on their asses, considering how low their public approval rating is since the government shutdown,” stated political pundit Jerry Solerno. “Luckily, many of them still have another year to prove that they aren’t totally useless. So, it’s a small but true victory.”

Impeachment was another fear of Congressmembers due to the American publics view of politicians, in general, during the government shutdown. That fear was alleviated when it was learned that members can only be impeached by a 2/3 vote from their respective peers in Congress and not the American public. It was a loophole that put even the most bitter Republican and Democratic Party members at ease.