ubersuper Thu 09-Jan-20 18:40:43

Does anyone get this or can anyone throw light on why he does this or is it normal in a very long marriage? He’s always done it but it got worse with the stress of kids. If I try and talk to him, raise topics eg dinner conversation about wondering if I should buy a new book I fancy...his responses are curt, grumpy, moody in tone. Like a headmaster a bit? Does anyone understand what I mean? It’s very subtle but it’s constant. For example I envisage the conversation should go

Me: “shall I go to Waterstones or WHSmith to find that book do you think?”

Him: “do what you want”

It’s like that with every topic I raise, in whatever way or form I raise it. I end up backing off the conversation and shutting up because it feels like an aggressive type response. Plus he looks at me with a non smiley, resting bitch face while he’s saying it. Like you would if you were a teacher who was pissed off with a student. There’s never any positive happy interaction. Regardless of time of day or what I talk about. For example his response could have been “oooh I don’t know. Hope you find it. Wonder if the main character gets killed in the end” you know, a chit chat?

Am I making any sense?

I just feel ground down by it. I don’t want to hug him or have sex with him because he’s not laughing or being nice to me! I feel like I’m being dismissed! I just don’t know if I can live like this for the rest of my life! I’ve tried raising it with him before but he walks away furious and it escalated into being my fault/problem...he’s done nothing wrong. And no he hasn’t done anything wrong. But it’s eroding my self confidence or self esteem. I grew up in a “can’t talk about anything house” any conversation or questions were met by dismissal or fury or upset by my parents. I just want somebody to be nice to me and respond to me in a fun, kind, positive manner! Am I being ridiculous here!!!