Katy Faust discusses her blog, which is lobbying against same sex marriage. Courtesy: Lateline/ABC

RAISED in a same-sex household, Katy Faust’s view on same-sex marriage is not what you might expect.

The US academic and daughter of a lesbian mother has come to Canberra to campaign against marriage equality in Australia, saying her own childhood experience has shaped her opposition of same-sex unions.

“I recognised that while my mother was a fantastic mother ... she can’t be a father. Her partner, an incredible woman — both of these women have my heart — cannot be a father either,” Ms Faust told the ABC’s Lateline.

“Children have a right to be in relationship with their mother and father whenever possible, and as a society, we shouldn’t normalise a family structure that requires children to lose one or both parents to be in that household.”

The traditional marriage advocate was not born into a same-sex household. Her mother began a lesbian relationship after her mother and father divorced while she was in primary school, with Ms Faust admitting her father ran off with other women.

She converted to Christianity in high school and only went public with her views after being outed as an anonymous blogger and self-proclaimed ‘bigot’ during the same-sex marriage debate in the US.

A married mother of four, she now campaigns for conservative group the International Children’s Rights Institute.

But it wasn’t always that way. Ms Faust used to tell people: “I’m so happy that my parents got divorced so that I could know all of you wonderful women”.

Ms Faust now says the speech she repeated over and over was a result of a “fierce protectiveness” she felt for her parents.

“Well, there’s a lot of pressure on children of gay parents to please their parents, to sort of carry the banner forward for them,” she said, admitting her views began to change after converting to Christianity in high school.

Ms Faust started anonymously with a blog called “Ask The Bigot”, because of the way her view was perceived, and was outed by gay marriage activists “who felt like I needed to be held accountable for my stance.” She has since gone on to campaign against gay marriage in the US, making an ultimately unsuccessful submission to the Supreme Court, which ruled in favour of same-sex marriage in June.

She’s now turned her attention to Australia, teaming up with Melbourne woman Millie Fontana, who was also raised by two mothers but who opposes gay marriage.

They’ve been meeting with MPs in Canberra, where senior Liberals are rallying behind the idea of a national vote on same-sex marriage.

“I got into this discussion primarily because what I heard from the gay lobby was that children don’t care who’s raising them, right? That children are just fine if it’s two men or two women,” she said.

“And the reality is that anybody that’s talked to a child who has lost a parent, whether through divorce, abandonment, third-party reproduction or death, kids absolutely care. Family structure matters to children.”

However, a comprehensive study of children raised in same-sex households and published in June has rubbished the theory, concluding their offspring were no worse off than children raised by heterosexual couples.

The new research, which looked at 19,000 studies and articles related to same-sex parenting from 1977 to 2013, found an “overwhelming” consensus that gay marriage made “no significant difference” to children.

Writer and critic Millie Holten, a 19-year-old “gayby”raised by two women, says as far ash she’s concerned, her childhood was normal.

“Of all the cases against gay marriage, there’s something particularly insidious about homophobia disguised as “thinking of the children”, she told Fairfax.

“Clearly, it’s not the cruel, bullying children who are the problem, but the adults who surround them.”

Labor Senator Penny Wong, who has two young daughters with her same-sex partner, has also come out hard against the argument that same-sex marriage opponents are simply acting in the best interests of children.

“I find it sad that senior politicians in this country seem to want to tell my children and children of other same-sex couples that somehow they are not normal,” she said last month.

“We know same-sex couples have children now. All that debate is, is saying their parents can’t be married.”

“I want my daughters to grow into strong women who have the opportunity to achieve anything they set their minds to. We should aspire to a world where our children do not face prejudice or discrimination, where they are supported and encouraged, where they are given the opportunities to be the best of who they are.”

Prime Minister Tony Abbott has proposed holding a plebiscite, or referendum, after the next election after the party room on Tuesday vetoed a free vote on Liberal MP Warren Entsch’s private member’s bill.

The lack of a free vote means the bill, to be introduced to the parliament on Monday, will almost certainly fail.

Liberals in favour of a free vote by MPs and initially opposed to a plebiscite have now warmed to the idea of same-sex marriage being put to voters.

Senator Arthur Sinodinos said the plebiscite made the issue easier in some ways, because the coalition only needed to come up with a format for the ballot and let voters do the rest of the work.

“And if you are an advocate of gay marriage, it’s a good opportunity to ramp up the campaign,” the senator told Sky News. He says it is likely voters will support the change to marriage laws, given trends in other countries and opinion polling in Australia.

Labor says it is a delaying tactic by the prime minister, who is a staunch opponent of same-sex marriage.

Opposition Leader Bill Shorten has promised to legislate gay marriage within 100 days of forming a Labor government.

— With AAP