A friendship group hailing from the non-enthusiast community - better known as the ‘general public’ - have announced mindless and counterproductive plans to visit a theme park. The ill fated trip has been, of course, scheduled to take place on a Saturday in the middle of the school holidays.





GP simpleton Kelly said “I’ve checked my weather app and it’s going to be sunny all day. How great is that? Georgia is driving and she likes to have a lie-in so we’ll get there about 4 hours after opening. I can definitely not see the terrible conclusion this is all heading to”





Jacob, a fellow half-wit, added “At least whilst were waiting in the 200 minute queues we can verbally torture everyone within ear shot. I will, in a matter of fact voice, extrapolate a minor accident the ride had last year into a harrowing bloodbath with a body count comparable to that of a large-scale natural disaster”





“Just when they think it’s finally over I’ll hit them with: ‘Why don’t the seats fall off when it goes upside down?’”





Levi Patterson, an industry expert from The Amusement Foundation, said “The status of being ‘GP’ is somewhat mistakenly associated with a lack of knowledge of amusement parks and rides, however a more scientific correlation would have have something to do with what we call 'common sense'"





Jacob added “Obviously we’re going to add ‘The’ to the name of a rollercoaster that doesn’t start with that word. We’re not amateurs.”