RED BANK, NJ—Citing her relentless harassment of her peers, as well as her overall cruel and abrasive personality, the parents of local teen Lauren Hatcher expressed surprise Monday that the remorseless 15-year-old has yet to push a classmate past their breaking point. “Given our daughter’s apparent desire to make others feel inferior, combined with our reluctance to confront her on such behavior, we really figured she’d have driven one of these kids off the edge by now,” said Lauren’s father, Jim Hatcher, noting that the merciless teenager, who has on multiple occasions brought her mother to tears, is adept at spreading false rumors and exploiting other people’s insecurities. “She spends hours every day on Snapchat and other social apps—which we have no idea how to use or monitor—so we sort of assumed that by the middle of the school year or so, she would’ve written enough vicious, hate-filled messages to completely destroy at least one of her peers. But it’s April now and somehow we still haven’t gotten a call from the school principal saying she drove another kid to have a breakdown.” At press time, the parents of several of the teen’s classmates were marveling that their daughters were still hanging in there after the latest series of texts from the Hatcher girl.

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