Billy Hamilton is faster than us mere mortals in the baseball world can comprehend, but we don't have to despair about our imaginations' deficiencies, because here he is, being fast. In Wednesday's game against the Cardinals, in a matter of three pitches, Hamilton moved from first to home with flat-out stupid urgency.

Hamilton collected his first stolen base of 2014 without drawing a throw from Yadier Molina, who, it bears mentioning, has a room in his mansion specifically devoted to keeping the heads of all the baserunners he's gunned down as trophies:





Hamilton followed that up by taking third base on what should have just been a standard fly out to shallow-ish right field. You can see the moment that Jon Jay catches the ball, as well as the second you realize that Hamilton is going to outrun the baseball to third. There is roughly another second separating those two moments.





Joey Votto would draw a walk in between (of course he did), setting Jay Bruce up for this lazy fly out to even shallower right, to the point where the second baseman could have made a play if he hadn't been called off by Jay.





Notice how disappointed Bruce is at his inability to drive in the runner from third? It was unwarranted:





I don't even remember what life was like before Billy Hamilton, but I don't want to go back to that cold, loveless place.