It may be pool weather year-round in Florida, but summer’s officially over on Siesta Key. Alex has (maybe) shipped off to law school and Juliette’s back at FSU, but if we’ve learned one thing this week it’s that the drama you create on The Key doesn’t stop once you’ve hit the ignition and left its beaches behind.

So where does that leave the cast? Juliette and Garrett may be over. #Bradisson continues to flounder even without Canvas’s presence. And what’s this? Oh, just Alex showing up uninvited for a weekend at Juliette’s college to explore the sexual tension he’s working up with Juliette (and to fight with Hannah).

Cosmo caught up with Reality King Spencer Pratt to get his take on the turmoil disturbing The Key’s placid waters. And he had a lot to say.

On whether Juliette masterminded her way back into Alex’s heart at Chloe’s party

"She definitely didn’t plan on making out with a dude who’s got his jaw wired shut. I had a lot of people DM me wanting my opinion on them kissing with his jaw like that. I've had to get my mind wrapped around it. I don't know. I guess it's just his lips and maybe no tongue? Can he get his tongue on hers through his teeth? She definitely wasn’t planning for all that. That’s just how love works on that boat."

Juliette. MTV

On what the hell’s going on with Juliette and Garrett

"Heidi asked, 'Can I just DM Juliette and ask her if her and Garrett were for real with their relationship?'” Did he catch her cheating? Why the hell did he drive her home?

It’s driving me nuts! It’s the Mystery of The Key. I think the only people that saw the kissing were the camera men who zoomed in. They were pretty hidden up in the cuts. I think if Garrett had seen them, he would have snapped. You know Juliette hasn’t kissed him once.

Real or fake, I think they’re done now. When she said 'I’m so excited to go back to Tallahassee,' that was her nice way of saying 'I can’t wait not to be with you anymore.'"

Garrett. MTV

On Kelsey recounting the “fist fight” she got into with Juliette at the party

"I was thankful she didn't keep up what she was doing while she was drunk and yelling, 'She hit me.' Girl, we all saw Juliette miss. I appreciated that she didn’t try to keep that version of events going the next next morning. It's good to see Kelsey being honest about something for once."

Kelsey. MTV

On Alex traveling allllllll the way to FSU to creep on Juliette

"So are we really supposed to believe he’s moved away? We saw the way he packed. I think he’s doing online law school. Maybe he’s doing extension courses."

On Chloe telling Garrett about Juliette and Alex

"I actually screamed 'Just say no' when she was telling Garrett about that college party. The way she was describing what they were doing was like erotic friend fiction. 'And then he grabbed her and then she was biting his cheek.' It's like, girl, we got it. They were flirting.

How does anyone still have Chloe on Snapchat? I want to know how many people keep her blocked. Is she following them under a fake fan account? Is she wearing a trench coat and hiding in the bushes? She’s got LoJack on all four Ubers in The Key."

Chloe. MTV

On Hannah and her boyfriend meddling with Juliette and Alex’s newly rekindled relationship

"The best scene in the whole series (maybe) was Andrew and Hannah trying to come for Alex. What the hell are you doing? You need to remember whose dad is the producer and bring it down a notch. I was just blown away when they were trying to tell Juliette her life. It made me dislike both of them so much I was in shock.

Andrew, what are you even doing here, bro? Shouldn't you and Hannah be fighting about that bootleg Cartier bracelet you got her? She hasn’t stopped talking about it since she set foot on The Key.

It's crazy that they made me like Alex based on how he handled those two. That could have easily escalated to a fight. I would have snapped way harder than him. I would have been like 'you two fucking losers, shut your mouth.' Hannah said she hated his adult braces! He didn't get those by choice, Genius. He got beat up by a shark.

I hate that kind of friend. Nobody asked you for advice. It just goes in one ear and out the other. If you give somebody advice that's your choice, but they don’t have to listen. I like that Juliette said that in the narration — that it’s her life to mess up. Heidi says that she wishes she had that narration on The Hills."

Alex. MTV

On whether Alex showed up just to "get some ass"

"Andrew saying that was incredibly disrespectful to Juliette. And listen, buddy, we know Alex. If he’s really just 'looking for ass,' he’s not going to 'drive' five hours to get it. I'm pretty sure he’s got booty calls much closer to that mansion we never get to see inside of. Or he could take his boat. I'm sure there's some ass closer on the boat.

But that’s not the point: Control your dude, Hannah. He’s fucking offensive. She should have told him to go back to Cartier, pick her up a few more bracelets, and get the hell out of this conversation.

If anyone’s scamming here, it's Juliette, cause she knows what Alex is about and she played the player. He 'drove' five hours to surprise her. The second this episode ended, Heidi said, 'Great work, Juliette, your plan worked!'"

On "Bradisson"

"Could Brandon be trying to make Bradisson happen any harder? I don’t know if Madisson’s here for it anymore. The way she told the other girls that Juliette’s feelings for Alex never stopped when they were talking shit at breakfast — I was wondering if she’s also talking about herself. I was like 'Is that something you relate to, Madisson?' Especially now that Alex is like coming off of her. I feel like he’s really having an image shift after shutting down Hannah and Andrew.

I think Madisson’s wishing that Alex had a ring when he proposed to her after their romantic beach clean-up in the 1A finale. If he had pulled out a two million dollar ring and said he wanted to be the guy for her, we’d have a different story.

I’m sure Brandon started hating her the second he played her that music and she was like 'ehhh.'"

Brandon. MTV

On Madisson working for Alex’s mom

"It's interesting that of all the jobs The Key has to offer, Madisson’s working for Alex's mom. Heidi said 'Does Brandon know that?' She didn’t tell Brandon that she was going to visit Alex when his mouth was wired shut and now she’s suddenly not an engineer and picking out pillows for her ex’s mom? Hmmmm. It’s like when LC was at Teen Vogue while being a TV star. It seems a little too storyline for me.

Was the Tiki Bar not hiring? Kelsey’s going to New York, I’m sure Madisson could take over raking the sand."

Madisson. MTV

On Madisson’s Mardi Gras-themed housewarming party

"That was a housewarming? I thought they were all going to a rave. I was like, 'is this was what it looks like when kids do molly?' When Chloe came up in that tutu, I was like 'Oh, these kids are def on that molly.' I do appreciate that every episode there's at least one party now, but why all the themes? I’ve only been to theme parties on Halloween."

On Kelsey and Carson’s budding relationship

I've started liking Carson and Kelsey as a couple. I don't know whether it's the skin boarding or the slice of pizza, but I’m thinking maybe this is a better relationship for her. I’m ‘shipping it."

On Kelsey going back to modeling

"She got me all sad when she was like, 'I don't have a backup plan.' It got me so sad. And with the eating disorder arc, I can’t even make jokes like 'Good luck, girl' because that’s some real shit. Maybe she should apply to college — she seems pretty bright. When Juliette said 'the biggest surprise was yet to come' in her narration, I thought it was that Kelsey was going to be her new dorm mate. Like 'I’m done with the boat bar, I’m done with modeling, I’m here to learn.' I’d watch that spin-off.

Here’s what I think: Everyone on this show needs to wake up about their prospects. I hope Kelsey’s doing this modeling thing for pretend, because right now she’s a TV star, which is way doper than any gig they're gonna book for her in New York. It’s not worth it. The models I know from following the media are people like Kaia Gerber and homegirl's like 11 years old. And her mom’s Cindy Crawford. That’s what you’re up against."

On What Kelsey Should do instead

"My advice would be that Kelsey get some really good photographer friends and spend all that energy making her Instagram pop. If I had a daughter, I’d be telling her that modeling is the last thing she should be doing. Why continue to put yourself in a position where you're being judged by people all day long, telling you what your self-worth should be?

I hate to be Simon Cowell here. If they're going to book you on some multi-million dollar campaigns, yeah, it's worth it. But if you’re 22 and they're putting you back on the ground floor, maybe it's time to do something else. Kelsey would be great in PR. She’s really good at telling her own versions of stories."

On the show’s refusal to let go of discourse

"Kelsey's mom made me very sad when she was talking to her about going back to modeling. Her mom is so concerned about her eating. I never thought I’d get so emotional while watching The Key. And Tarik talking about not being able to come out to his family — that made me really sad.

I know they’re trying to keep it real, but I don’t think we should be talking about any mass shootings in Siesta Key. Period. It’s jumping the shark. I want to talk about Alex and his mouth not working and that's pretty much as deep as I'm trying to go. No more parents in the hospital. I don't want any of this deep shit. I want more parties. I want more ridiculous outfits like the one Chloe put on for the party. Is that supposed to be a Mardi gras outfit, that tutu thing she was wearing? It was straight out of Ace Ventura. Let’s talk about that.

On Spencer keeping the Siesta Key kids in line

"I feel like this is probably how an NFL coach feels worrying about his players, because I want them to succeed, sometimes even more than they want themselves to succeed. Which is strange, obviously, but I’m addicted to this show and I want more of it. Monitoring all their social media is a full-time job. I always tell Pauly Paul I don't know why they don't film more of him. His Snapchat is IN. SANE. It’s a different show without him. I don't know what they need to do to get him back. Cover his day rate with alcohol? Pay him in buckets of coke? Just bring him back!

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I need the cast to use the #SiestaKey hashtag when they’re fighting and stop deleting the tweets. Last week, Chloe posted and deleted screenshots of awful emails Juliette sent her and I was like, 'This is the best marketing you could do for this show, do. not. delete. it!' Just the fact that Chloe had to post a screen grab is so true to her character. Girl keeps all the receipts. And then Juliette called out Tarik for never going to school with her and only meeting her during filming, basically saying he’s a liar? It just made the show feel even more real.



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Heidi says she can hear the producers telling them 'to keep the drama on camera,' but whatever. Team, I know you’re reading this: Keep fighting and RT this recap. That goes for Kelsey’s mom, too! Hey Girl!"

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