In a stunning announcement today, scientist have revealed that the behavior of men sitting with their legs far apart, known as ‘manspreading’, is actually not at all their fault.

“It’s conclusive, the science is clear. I mean, look at the shirt I’m wearing!” claimed Jerry Turgid of the Los Alamos Testicular Research Laboratory. “Our results have been peered reviewed and in every case, in every country, we have found that when we simulate a women with PMS near our test subject, the manspreading occurs.” When asked why the effect is simulated Mr. Turgid seemed stunned, replying “What? You mean actually let a woman into the fucking lab? Are you serious?” He went on to say, in apparent good humor, that there was no need to bring in a live sample due to safety concerns for the workers.

Scientists at the lab, located just outside Albuquerque, New Mexico believe the test subjects are reacting to the simulated bitching and moaning by slouching, thereby causing the legs to part further than normal. “It’s a sign of how modern men are resigned to it all. They know they cannot do anything about it, so they just sit there defeated. With they’re legs wide open.” Turgid added.

Mr. Turgid went on to say that there is some speculation that this behavior is to allow the PMSing woman better access to the obvious target of her bitching, that being the man’s junk. “We’ll never know, I think. With this new data far too many scientists are getting out of looking into this, it’s just too dangerous.” When asked if a female scientist might continue the work, Mr. Turgid asked “A female what?”.