I’m trying to figure out why some people are so aggressive about getting demisexuality ‘proven’ as an actual sexuality, because the thing about demisexuality is that it’s not actually a sexuality. It’s describing under which circumstances you’re sexually attracted to someone, not who you’re attracted to.

Like, say someone says they’re demisexual. Okay, cool. But who are they attracted to? Men? Women? Both? Any and all? It literally says nothing about your sexuality. You don’t want or feel the need to have sex with someone unless you’re in love with them (or, in some peoples’ definitions, can’t feel that attraction until you’re in love). But that doesn’t actually describe who you’re attracted to, which is the definition of sexual orientation (a person’s sexual identity in relation to the gender they’re attracted to).

Demisexuality, if properly defined, would be more a subset under the sexuality categories (heterosexual/homosexual/bisexual/pansexual) or even simply just a romantic preference, not a sexuality in and of itself. It’s still a valid identifier; it’s just not a sexuality, which is where I think a lot of people on both sides of the argument for its validity get confused.

