It's hard not to imagine history as a fairly dry, boring series of events that shaped our world before humanity invented the concept of "fun." But as we've shown you before, about half of your history textbook should read like the arrest report after a raid at a frat party. If you're ever reading about a historical event and something just doesn't seem to add up, it's because the editors cut the line "and, of course, they were all completely blasted out of their minds the whole time." Like ...

6 The Tsar's Wine Cellar Puts the Russian Revolution on Hold

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The capture of the Winter Palace in 1917 was the Bolshevik equivalent of destroying the Death Star. Winning the deciding battle in the Russian Revolution was a great excuse for the rebellion to celebrate. Luckily for them, the palace came pre-equipped for such a celebration -- while exploring their new home, the revolutionaries stumbled upon the world's largest wine cellar, stocked with $91 million worth of the world's finest wines, cognacs, whiskeys, and vodkas.

Winter Palace Management

And brandys, and vodkas, and rums, and vodkas, and vodkas.

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The soldiers immediately started drinking, and because communism is all about sharing, they invited everyone in Saint Petersburg to join them. The then-capital was crippled stupid by weeks of drunken shenanigans so epic, the Bolsheviks had to put the war on hold just to deal with it. It was like a Purge Night at Caligula's house.

After the commissar of the Winter Palace, appointed by Lenin, ended up drunk on the job, they tried to cut the city off by flooding the wine cellar ... only to find people diving in for it. Russians likewise jumped in the frozen Neva River to rescue thrown wine bottles, and when the authorities just started dumping it out on the ground, people dove head first into the gutters to drink and fought one another for precious liquor-stained snow.

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Then they'd pee on the ground and get drunk on pee-stained snow.

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Saint Petersburg's insatiable craving for booze was so strong it collapsed in upon itself, creating a drunken singularity from which no sobriety could escape until all within the city's orbit had been sucked dry of alcohol. The party ended over a month later when the cellars had dried up, and Saint Petersburg awoke with the Tsar of all headaches. And that's how the Soviet Union was born: by violently and passionately confirming every stereotype ever uttered about Russians.