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Upon arrival downtown, TTC CEO Andy Byford could take over the tour on one of the city’s ancient streetcars and explain what happens when “domestic content” rules are in effect: Bombardier gets an automatic leg up, thanks to its permanent manufacturing facilities in the province (notably in Thunder Bay, which is at least twice as far from Toronto than any point in New York State). Other companies would have had to set up shop in the province temporarily to meet the requirements — and in fact, many municipal politicians wanted to make the domestic content requirement even higher for the streetcar order.

If Bombardier were, say, to forget how to build streetcars and fail to deliver them on anything like the schedule it promised, then Toronto would be pretty much out of luck. And that’s exactly what happened. The TTC has threatened to look at alternative suppliers, but Bombardier knows the city is pretty much stuck.

Perhaps then a Via rail ride to Kingston, where our visitors could see Bombardier’s whiz-bang prototype vehicle for the Eglinton-Crosstown LRT. A Metrolinx official could explain how this single bloody train, which is many months away from completion, is more than two years late already and threatens the on-schedule opening of more than one project, and brief our visitors on the agency’s own legal battles with Bombardier.

If Bombardier were, say, to forget how to build streetcars and fail to deliver them on anything like the schedule it promised, then Toronto would be pretty much out of luck

Back on Via again to Ottawa, and by bus across the river to a local supermarket, where our visitors could take incredulous selfies with the price tags on dairy products — all thanks to Canada’s supply management system. A quick stop at the SAQ, then, where our guide could buy five bottles of Canadian Club and everyone could enjoy the anarchist thrill of importing it back across the river into Ontario. An expert could explain the many astonishing barriers to free trade that exist within the Canadian federation, which boasts so proudly of its commitment to free trade internationally.

And then, I suppose, dinner at the Métropolitain and a good night’s sleep at the Château Laurier to let that all sink in. Not only is Ontario in no position to be preaching against protectionism; we’re all marinating in its bizarre and costly effects.

• Email: cselley@nationalpost.com | Twitter: cselley