So I woke up this morning to see the Mime standing over me with a bloody knife.





I said, “Let me guess. The dishwasher’s on the fritz again?”





“Yep!” he mimed. “I ran this thing through it a million times, and it’s on the fritz!”





So, being the generous dishwasher-owner that I am, I got up (at knifepoint) and went to take a look.





“See, now, there’s the problem. If you want a knife to get clean, ‘running it through the dishwasher’ does NOT mean 'stab the dishwasher over and over and over again.’”





I am now fleeing the country. For the fifth time.





And my silverware is still bloody, but at least I’m not.