DEONTOLOGIST: You say we should do whatever has the best consequences; but what if Awful Action X had the best consequences?

CONSEQUENTIALIST: But Awful Action X wouldn’t have the best consequences in any realistic scenario.

DEONTOLOGIST: It doesn’t matter; as long as your theory is committed to saying that Awful Action X would be okay if it did have the best consequences, your theory is defective.

CONSEQUENTIALIST: Well, darn it!





CONSEQUENTIALIST: You say we should do the inherently right action even if it doesn’t have the best consequences; but what if the action you say is inherently right had Awful Result Y?

DEONTOLOGIST: But the inherently right action wouldn’t have Awful Result Y in any realistic scenario.

CONSEQUENTIALIST: It doesn’t matter; as long as your theory is committed to saying that Awful Result Y would be okay if it did come about from the inherently right action, your theory is defective.

DEONTOLOGIST: Well, darn it!