The NFL draft is only two days away, and this year’s quarterback class could be historically remarkable.

It’s possible that six QBs could go in the first round. SIX!

It’s possible there’s a QB legend amongst them.

Of course, it’s also possible all six will be singing the same tune JaMarcus Russell sang while sitting on his couch eating a can of spam and drinking a Mountain Dew Slurpee.

But we’re not going to speak ill of the chubby busts, this is about the future!

The Browns (every. single. year.), Giants (nothing wrong with open mouth breathers), Jets (from butt fumble to broken jaw), and Broncos (Paxton Lynch sucks) all need their QB of the future, and depending on what they’re looking for, this year’s draft just might have what they need.

Sam Darnold: The Vanilla Bet

You ever look at somebody and think “yup, I know exactly who you are” without ever speaking to them?

Well, Charles Manson looked like a straight up serial killer, and Sam Darnold looks like a quarterback.

He can handle the pressure of a big football stage, while maintaining his cool when it matters most. Does he hang out in the pocket a bit too long? Maybe, but when he releases the ball, it drops in the exact, perfect place.

Like in between two safeties at the 2017 Rose Bowl for the game tying TD.

Now, he is kind of boring; this isn’t a guy I would want to go on a long road trip with, but sometimes vanilla is ok, like when it’s winning you big games with big plays and keeping your name out of negative headlines.

Josh Rosen: The Contradiction

If Sam Darnold is vanilla ice cream, Josh Rosen is swirl soft serve. (It’s too bad Josh Rosen isn’t biracial or this analogy would be BOMB!)

He has a ridiculously quick release… but he holds on to the ball for too long trying to make something happen.

He’s built to take hits… but he’s taken a lot of hits.

He says he doesn’t need to play the game… but he wants to play the game.

He has interests outside of football… but football is his main interest.

He grew up wealthy… but advocates for those that didn’t.

He questions everything… but once you provide him with an answer, he goes out there and makes you question yourself for questioning him.

He likes to hot tub with random women… but he’s committed to only one…

And she is not ugly…

And also like inflatables…

Baker Mayfield: The Risky Gamble

If you’re looking at numbers alone, no one shines brighter than Baker Mayfield.

He won the Heisman Trophy his senior year, putting up 43 TDs with only 6 INTs, while completing 70.5% of his passes (actually preposterous).

He’s proven that although he’s on the shorter side (almost 6’1″), he can scramble and create big plays down the field with his arm, not his legs.

BUT if you’re running an NFL franchise, it might be hard to forget his arrest, and his fleeing and resisting of that arrest.

Or his pettiness, which includes planting the OU flag in the middle of the field at Ohio State, and this infamous moment after Kansas players refused to shake hands with him.

(Nothing says “fuck you!” like a good, solid crotch grab.)

And then of course there’s the list. The list he keeps of media members who have crossed a line, for personal motivation. The screenshots of offending tweets he stores in his phone, for personal motivation.

Listen, there are people with chips on their shoulders… and then there are straight up fucking crazy people who will slit your throat, and then stare deeply into your eyes as blood slivers down your neck, turning your white cashmere sweater into the perfect shade of Sooner crimson.

I’m not saying Baker Mayfield is one of these people, I’m just saying.

Lamar Jackson: The Athletic Moma’s Boy

Lamar Jackson is without question the most athletic quarterback in this year’s draft.

In fact, he’s so black athletic some people think he should be a wide receiver.

Others have compared him to Michael Vick and Cam Newton (both also black athletic) for his ability to makes plays with his legs. Except Newton, at 6’5″ and 245 pounds, can take hits a 6’3″ and 211 pound man may not be able to. After all, RG3 couldn’t, and he was a much more polished pocket passer than Jackson has proven to be.

Don’t worry though, instead of working with a quarterback coach to fix his throwing mechanics (completed less than 60% of his passes in 2017)- he’s hired his mom to manage him.

Then again, who better than your Moma to tell you put on a few lbs and throw better.

Josh Allen: The Big Guy

You may have heard Josh Allen is tall and has big hands. (Thanks PMT.)

You have also heard he can throw the ball 90 yards and about 70 mph. During the combine, he may have almost hit the Colts’ banners at the top of Lucas Oil Stadium.

Size, check. Arm strength, check.

Stats in the Mountain West Conference (and if you can’t put up big numbers here..), not great.

But if I learned anything from www.draftjoshallen.com, it’s that…