The Smoker's Vow

To be said just before taking your first puff after

having quit for any appreciable period of time.

With this puff I enslave myself

to a lifetime of addiction.

While I can't promise to always love you,

I do promise to obey every craving and

support my addiction to you

no matter how expensive you become.

I will let no husband or wife,

no family member or friend,

no doctor or any other health professional,

no employer or government policy,

no burns or no stench,

no cough or raspy voice,

no cancer or emphysema,

no heart attack or stroke,

no threat of loss of life or limbs,

come between us.

I will smoke you forever

from this day forth,

for better or worse,

whether richer or poorer,

in sickness and in health,

till death do us part!

"You may now light the cigarette."



"I now pronounce you a full-fledged smoker."

Postscript: While 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce, the addiction to smoking will last a lifetime - albeit a shorter lifetime. Once a smoker, annulment of the addiction is impossible. One puff can result in a permanent relapse. Dont take the chance of relapsing to this marriage of inconvenience.

NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

Joel

© Joel Spitzer 1994

Share this article

Related Articles & Videos

Next Relapse Prevention Lesson