AnotherSliceOfToast Mon 12-Mar-18 13:16:11

I don't get on with my sister. We have different types of personalities and just aren't close. We always clashed when we were growing up. We weren't worse enemies but there is just no connection between us.



I am happy getting on with my life and meeting up occassionally. I have no desire to be meeting every week.



My sister constantly measages me over the last 5 or 6 years trying to meet up. She has plenty of close friends so it is not that she is lonely - but it seems she has decided that because we are sisters we must be best friends even if I'm constantly clearly indicating that this is not what I want. I'm sick of being put in the position of trying to think of lame excuses to decline - because it makes me seem like a horrible person when I'm actually just trying to get on with my life and do my own thing.



She tries to arrange to spend time with my children separately to me but I am not comfortable with this for two reasons -firstly, its that we just aren't close so weird sending my children off with someone I don't really like. And secondly, I find she doesn't really understand older children and is easily shocked by quite minor misbehavior and is too stern. My children are mostly very well behaved at home and school but aren't perfect - and I don't like the thought of them being alone with her and being disciplined by someone like that. She has a baby who is very placid and I think she feels this is purely a reflection of her superior parenting - whereas I feel that managing older DCs can actually be harder as they have their own opinions etc.



Because I usually decline to meet up, she has started texting my DH directly (by-passing me) to arrange meet ups with me or my children. DH doesn't commit to anything as he knows we are not close. Its just really annoying me and putting me off her even more. I was meeting her from time to time for coffee just to keep things happy but I don't feel like meeting her at all anymore because of this.



I don't feel I can directly say anything as she already comes across as the saintly one in my family - the one who is reaching out trying to be friends - and I am seen as terrible and cold for not being kind and accepting all her attempts.