It’s not always easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive.

In fact, many abusers may seem absolutely perfect on the surface — as if they are the dream partner — in the early stages of a relationship. Possessive and controlling behaviors don’t always appear overnight, but rather emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.

If you’re beginning to feel as if your partner or a loved one’s partner is becoming abusive, there are a few behaviors that you can look out for. Watch out for these red flags and if you’re experiencing one or more of them in your relationship, call The Hotline to talk about what’s going on:

Embarrassing or putting you down

Looking at you or acting in ways that scare you

Controlling who you see, where you go, or what you do

Keeping you or discouraging you from seeing your friends or families

Taking your money or refusing to give you money for expenses

Preventing you from making your own decisions

Telling you that you are a bad parent or threatening to harm or take away your children

Preventing you from working or attending school

Blaming you for the abuse, or acting like it’s not really happening

Destroying your property or threatening to hurt or kill your pets

Intimidating you with guns, knives or other weapons

Shoving, slapping, choking or hitting you

Attempting to stop you from pressing charges

Threatening to commit suicide because of something you’ve done

Threatening to hurt or kill you

Pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with

Pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol

Preventing you from using birth control or pressuring you to become pregnant when you’re not ready

Domestic violence doesn’t look the same in every relationship because every relationship is different. But one thing most abusive relationships have in common is that the abusive partner does many different kinds of things to have more power and control over their partners.

If you’re concerned about some of these things happening in your relationship, please feel free to give us a call at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

(Photo: “Red Flag” by Andy Wright)