Ethan has been one of your closest guy friends since college, but you’ve never seen him as anything more than that. Unfortunately, there’s a very real chance that Ethan could misinterpret your feelings for him now that you’ve finally let him sleep with you. You need to make it clear to Ethan that he’s a boy and he’s your friend, but not your boyfriend—and never will be your boyfriend—even if he is balls deep inside you at this very moment. Here’s how to let him down easy while he’s hitting it hard:

Ask Him for Guy Advice

Nothing tells a dude you see him as friend more than talking about other dudes, especially when his penis is currently in your body. When you start going down on Ethan, mention that you’ve been thinking of trying out that same tongue move on Dan from marketing who you have a date with on Friday. If Ethan shakily asks, “Are you sure you really want to do this?” you’re talking about Dan just the right amount!

Delay Your Responses

Don’t let him think you’re just as eager to chat as he is. If he purrs in your ear, “Does that feel good?” while he’s pumping away, wait a while to get back to him. Each of Ethan’s thrusts should decrease in confidence as your silence increases. This is the vaginal equivalent of iMessage’s three dots feature. He’ll get the message that you’re not actually interested in him sooner or later!

Set Him Up With Someone Else

When he switches positions, say, “You know who would love this position? My friend Ashley!” He might not understand why you still want to keep on going, but he will understand that you think he should be going out with Ashley and not you.

Compare Him to Family

As he continues to thrust inside you despite his bruised ego, coo, “You’re like a brother to me,” in order to hint that your affections for him are friendly, not romantic. Ethan could lose his erection, but he won’t lose your friendship—and that’s what matters most.

Be Clear That He’s Only a Friend

Reinforce the fact that you think of Ethan as only a friend by calling him that. After he gets you to cum, drop a simple, “Thanks. You’re such a good friend!” When he silently weeps while trying to find comfort in the very arms that have rejected him, you’ll know that you’ve gotten through to him and that he understands the bounds of your relationship.

While you’re having sex with a hot non-starter like Ethan, the most important thing to remember is to be very clear in letting him know where he stands with you. Too many mixed signals could give him the wrong idea!