CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

While it would be a bad look to offer his congratulations and sympathy publicly, Prime Minister Morrison has reportedly passed on his warm words of support to the Woolworths Australia.

This follows the revelations that the supermarket giant have underpaid nearly 6000 staff members as much as $300 million since 2010 after a review of its latest enterprise agreement.

While people who believe in basic workers rights have criticised Woolworth’s millionaire bosses, the Coalition Government are remaining quite tight-lipped about their thoughts on the entrepreneurial spirit of these business leaders behind the fairwork violations.

During a discreet series of phone calls to several close mates and prolific Liberal Party donors who make up the executive board at the Australian supermarket chain, Morrison has made it clear that he understands they were just trying to get a go.

“I know it can be tough running a business with all off this blue tape” Morrison tells an anonymous high-ranking member of the Woolies board.

“You should be free to do these things, unfortunately we still have a lot of hang-over from the Gillard years haha”

While Woolworth’s are now taking their corporate responsibility seriously and pretending it was all a mistake, Morrison has told the boys to just hold on a few years, because this shit will fly if he can nab another term.

“Soon enough boys. Haha. Penalty rates are on the way out”

“If I can get another go in 2022, then all of youse will get a go”

“Go on you for having a go”