Most of the rest of this essay wanders in and out of the Department of Does Mariah Smith Have No Friends. Observe this sentence: “All Nick wanted was a possible fling with Hollywood’s latest It Woman, but instead he wound up staring straight at a life sentence with a global scam artist.” Okay, nuts. Because we never ever get a sense of what is scammy about this shaadi. But then that sentence is followed by a kind of neat, grandiosity-puncturing but not particularly unique kind of humour. Smith writes: “Even more upsetting, she’s a scam artist who never even took the time to make sure he was comfortable riding a horse before arranging for him to enter their wedding ceremony on horseback. (Sadly, no one has yet to report on whether or not Nick Jonas was truly comfortable riding into his wedding on horseback.)”