A Guardsman’s uniform does not stop at his flak armour or undersuit, but is a core part of his being – the ideal Guardsman is as presentable and immediately recognisable as a soldier of the Imperium even in a full state of undress. His very bearing, manner and careful grooming are his true uniform.*

The enemy will be a dark mirror to such careful curation of appearances. Following some recent miscommunications on Vigilius, it has transpired that a certain insurgent element is operating deep in the heart of what was previously thought of as the safe zone.

These so-called “Genestealer Cults” hide among Emperor-fearing Imperial citizens – but they have one key trait that gives them away. Every member of this strange creed is incapable of growing hair. We have already begun processing all follicularly challenged citizens on Vigilius – now, it’s time to do your part.

In order to aid with swift identification in urban pacification scenarios, you are required by regimental mandate to demonstrate your ability to grow your hair.** To aid you in this duty, we have provided a chart of permitted stylings:***



As a final note, Guardsmen – your latest set of combat operations will bring you into contact with several units of Adeptus Astartes of the Space Wolves Chapter. Any discussion or emulation of the hairstyles of these valorous warriors of the Emperor is strongly discouraged.****

++ Thought For The Day: “Ruthlessness is the kindness of the wise.” ++

* Note that these assurances are rhetorical in nature and turning up to parade/combat duty in a state of nakedness is not recommended for the sake of decency and safety.

** Usually, a lack of hair would be no impediment to the gloriousness of any given Guardsmen. Many of the Imperium’s greatest heroes – not least the Space Marines – have chosen the bold path of the naked scalp. By purging these repulsive xenos, we purge all untoward associations that any bald Guardsman may be met with.

*** Guardsmen incapable of developing a follicle mat of sufficient tactical density will be subject to further inspection and gene-therapy subject to commanding officer’s approval. Senior officers will be provided with Munitorum-approved synthetic hair imitators for personal use.

**** Via lashings.

Share this: Twitter

Facebook

Reddit

Like this: Like Loading...