As God once said (allegedly, per Exodus 12:12), “…Against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgment: I am the LORD.” Action epic Gods of Egypt is expected to gross $15 million when it opens this weekend, against a production budget of $140 million.

God’s judgment: He hates Gods of Egypt.

God is not alone in preemptively shunning Liongate’s big-budget ode to CGI sand. At this point, people have been criticizing the movie for years, ever since it was revealed back in 2014 that the majority of roles—and all of the leads—in a film about Egyptian gods had been awarded to white people: Horus, god of the sky (and patron god of the North African nation of Egypt) would be portrayed by Danish actor Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (better known as Jaime Lannister from Game of Thrones). Set, god of war, would be portrayed by Scottish actor Gerard Butler. The role of Egyptian sun god, Ra, went, naturally, to Australian Geoffrey Rush. The role of a black piece of paper would be played by a white piece of paper. And on and on.

There is one black man on the film’s poster: Actor Chadwick Boseman, who plays Thoth, god of Knowledge. (He’s depicted as being about one-third the size of Gerard Butler.) There is also a black woman, whose role is unclear. IMDb says she is playing a goddess named “Anat.” IMDb also says this white actress is playing “Anat.” We are all playing Anat.

In response to backlash over what critics labeled the film’s “whitewashing,” Lionsgate and director Alex Proyas released a joint statement apologizing for casting decisions that failed to “reflect the diversity and culture of the time [period] portrayed.”

A nice sentiment, but talk is cheap—especially when compared to the $140 million budget of a movie about ancient white Egypt. So here's how the studio can make it up to us. Release a sequel—a $140 million sequel—to Gods of Egypt, with a black actor cast in every principal role.

And set it in the pastiest place on Earth: Ireland.

Here’s our pitch.

GODS OF IRELAND: ST. PATRICK'S SLAY

PLOT

The story of one British saint’s violent struggle to drive all the snakes—and ancient Celtic gods—out of Ireland forever.

INSPIRED BY

The Confessio and Epistola texts of St. Patrick, written around the 5th century

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ

ST. PATRICK — John Boyega

An English youth (think: older Billy Elliot minus the dancing or much, much, much younger Ian McKellen or older Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap when she did a British accent, minus being a twin, plus the British accent is real). Like most Catholics, he converts to the religion after being kidnapped from his father’s villa as a teenager and enslaved by pirates. Spends six years working as a shepherd in Ireland (think: sites of premiere Viking River Cruises, but miserable), after which he escapes and returns home to his family in England. Returns to Ireland, the land of his enslavement (think: because he is crazy??) to convert pagans to Christianity. What does he find there? Only about a billion goddamn snakes. Successfully baptizes thousands (of people, not snakes). In the movie’s climactic scene, drives all of Ireland’s snakes into the raging sea, employing tools such as power of prayer, flaming arrows, razor-sharp swords, and, of course, broken chair legs.

KING COROTICUS — Michael B. Jordan

St. Patrick’s enemy; a haughty British king (think: Prince George) who kidnaps a cohort of Patrick’s followers, slaughtering some, and selling the rest into slavery. Is excommunicated by Patrick, who describes him as a “son of the devil.” (Devil to be played by Michael no middle initial Jordan, the basketball player, if available.) Exactly the kind of person St. Patrick would say a swear word at if he weren’t so Christian.