Move to China! And other ways to deal with the recession

How to best handle this recession/depression, you ask? Don’t worry, FTRD, Recession Junction, and The Onion have the answers.

Photo: Jessica Shannon/ Feature photo: stuartpilbrow

WE HERE AT THE Matador Network have been contemplating the whys of traveling during the global recession, how exactly to go about traveling during this currency-strapped time, and how to handle it all by becoming a spiritual activist.

The folks over at F* the ReDepression, however, are taking a different approach to dealing with our global party’s-over “don’t-have-to-go-home-but-you-can’t-stay-here” meltdown.

Along with their handy-dandy tagline, “Might as well, it’s going to f* you,” they recently compiled the top 10 ways to F* the ReDepression, introducing the piece with these instructions:

First things first: You gotta believe. After that, who knows. At FTRD, we believe that the best way to FTRD is to pretend like it isn’t happening. This is the same strategy that FDR used while the Nazis rampaged Europe from 1933 to 1941. It worked then, and it will work now.

Other tasty tips include:

Move to… China? (def. not Europe, the UK or South America. and DEFINITELY not Africa)

Get a government job. They control everything. They print the money. You oughta roll with them!

Get a second family. If your new family has working-age children you just doubled your workforce!

Collect unemployment. Wait, how is this not #1? Stop reading this and go get it NOW.

Be sure to check out the rest of their list.

The Good News

What about a positive that stems from the greed of all those banker fat-cats?

Well, a group just granted the right to marry in Vermont is shouting a big fat “Hell-No!” to recession. Gay and lesbian travel is forecasted to be higher than heterosexual travel this summer.

The recession has also spawned hilarious t-shirts and cups to express your recession-depression frustrations to the world. Check out Recession Junction’s plethora of choices, including my favorites, “I will cut you, bitch!” and “Alms for the Poor.”

Last but certainly not least, when you are really down, you know who to turn to…The Onion. They’ve put together a video of the best reality show ever, Autoworkers Compete to Keep Jobs, Livelihoods.

What has kept you smiling during the economic crisis? Share your thoughts below.