I was in Java for a conference, traipsing down the beach. As I walked along the c, a python slithered up. “Hello,” it said, “you theem to be looking for thomeone.”

You can imagine my shock at finding a snake that could make smalltalk, much less one with a lisp! When I recovered, I replied, “Yeah, I’m supposed to give a speech, and I can’t find Tran, my speech writer!”

“You’re looking for Tran, eh?” the snake said. “I know a bird who might help- an awk. You might not want to believe the info you get, though. He can be a bit unethical.”

“Oh, I know the type.” I told him. “Always has some kind of scheme planned. I’ve got this friend who runs a shell game! I appreciate the offer, but I think algol it alone.”

“Fair enough.” it replied. “But what about your talk? What'th it about, anyway?”

“It’s a mineralogy assembly. I’m supposed to talk about the chemical makeup of a ruby, and I’m nervous- this is a really big bash, so I can’t screw it up. But without my script, I don’t know what I’m going to do!”

“I think I can help,” the snake told me, and hissed something in my ear that I’ll never forget. It was a real perl of wisdom. I followed his path, and went on to give my talk to a standing ovation! I even landed a turing gig from it- which I started after a little more R and R on the island. And now, I would like to pass that wisdom on to you:

Don’t go big, don’t make it too elaborate. Just keep it basic.