Thank you, everyone, for your long-suffering loyalty. And for another year of non-relevent GIFs, Phteven wrangling, recycled jokes, and mismanaged dreams. It's been a big year for wrestling, but perhaps not as massive as 2014 is going to be with the official launch of the WWE Network. Because that's sure to make headlines!

Punk Rock

Yes or no? Will you be Major Bludd in GI Joe: Boots to Hiss Tanks?

Why Wrestling + Internet = Bonerspurts

Yes, the wrestling giant, that's held a triangle choke on the industry for the past decade plus, has decided that, like our own ever-expanding universe, too much is never enough. That eight hours of WWE a week, counting NXT and Superstars (but not counting the monthly three hour PPV), is a paltry offering at best. Why not live and breathe the over-saturation 24/7 with a non-stop channel devoted to grinding your passion into the dirt?I understand that a business' main objective is to grow, lest it dissolve. But akin to our own cosmos, a "big crunch" might be inevitable. Running counterpoint to the Big Bang, the Crunch is when the metric expansion of space eventually reverses and the universe recollapses. Could this be what's in store for the WWE, who will need 800,000 to 1 million network subscribers (at around $14.95 a month) to break even on the deal? A Titan-sized gravitational implosion?Well, what if I told you that part of the plan might be to air all their PPVs, including WrestleMania and SummerSlam, on the WWE Network? Would that be the best for your business? Either way, this is an uphill climb. A mountain worthy of a JBL-manned expedition. "Well, why don't you go tell Vince that, Mr. War Correspondent? Huh? Why don't you walk over there and tell him to his face?"For this Year in Wrestling Review, I'm going to take you on a journey of sight and sound. Of smells and textures. Of vomit and fungus. From reality TV, to greasy swamp psychos, to B+ trolls, to a new Unified WWE Champion, to, um, Dixieland. Things looked awfully bright back in the months leading up to SummerSlam, when Daniel Bryan was being given (half the) ball. And from a selfishly morbid standpoint, Cena getting injured, leading to (what we expected to be) his longest time away from the ring ever, was just what Bryan needed to thrive. A clean win over Cena at SummerSlam felt like a torch being passed, but then… things went careening off a cliff. Instead of running with Bryan, the WWE ran with Triple H. Or should I say "Triple H ran with Triple H." Who, as a half-villain, wouldn't allow himself to be booed. Wouldn't allow anyone to get over on him. And months of soul-crushing non-finishes and predictable swerves followed.At face value, the Slammys are a joke. But they still should mirror most aspects of kayfabe "in-show" reality. The nominees should all have legitimate reasons to be nominated. It's not always the case, but anything too random and arbitrary runs the risk of shunning the audience. Oh, who am I kidding? The WWE's going to get their 1.6 million App votes no matter what. El Torito could win Diva of the Year. Who gives a s***? But from an IWC internet-paranoia standpoint, the Slammys, and the fallout, speaks volumes about the current product.Punk vs. Lesnar at SummerSlam was one of the best (if not the best) matches of the year. But it wasn't nominated for a Match of the Year Slammy. Because Triple H also had a PPV match with Brock Lesnar in 2013. In fact, he had two. And the story went that, on paper, Punk was not allowed to have a better match with Brock than Hunter. So Hunter's match with Lesnar at Extreme Rules was nominated. It didn't win, mind you. In fact, a worse match - in Rock vs. Cena II - won. But the omission of Punk vs. Lesnar reeked of backstage pettiness. Something that's been seeping out onto WWE TV more now than ever before.What makes this story so perfect for this intro is the outcome. WWE.com recently ran their own Top 25 Matches of 2013 . The matches were picked by the dot com editors and…*drumroll*…Punk vs. Lesnar was #1. Guess what match wasn't even on the list. Out of all 25 entries. Triple H vs. Lesnar at Extreme Rules.Guess what other match wasn't on it. Rock vs. Cena. Aside from the terrifying prospect that the dot-commers might be on our side, this encapsulates so much. Wrestling's always tried to protect itself from outsiders, but the WWE is now a police state with no wiggle room. And its rigidity will only get worse with the upcoming WWE Network.Steve Austin, who's got his own podcast, recently appeared on Chris Jericho's podcast as Y2J's first guest. And he basically explained that returning to the WWE for one more match - say, at WrestleMania - wasn't worth it. Because he couldn't be assured that he'd have the control he needed. Not creative control per se, as in Austin needing to micro-manage everything. But control in the ring. The freedom to improvise and adapt. The assurance that he could run with something if he felt it was right, or change the tone and pace of a match depending on the crowd. Within the world of the new WWE assembly line, the belt hook is already on the last notch. To him, the WWE is no longer a place worth three months of his time.2013 kicked things off with a dream feud between then WWE Champion CM Punk and The Rock. The Rock could finally face someone other than Cena, someone who was a true heel, and we could all see how a snarkass like Punk reacted to someone as charitably over as Rocky. It was a win-win. That is, until Rock won...Even Old Man Jenkins down at the taffy shop was super-pissed...No, The Rock was no longer the IWC's friend. People thought, with two PPVs leading up to 'Mania, that Punk might retain in the first round, with Rock taking the second. But Rock won both. And us older, bitter fans had to realize that while we were cool with Rock beating Cena, he was not to touch our darlings. Especially when one of them had been champion for 434 days. And Rock was the one who ended it. Rock almost immediately taking off for two weeks after winning the championship to film The Hero down in Panama didn't help matters either. We came to the realization that we would always, always, always have to share Dwayne Johnson with the rest of the globe. And while that didn't matter the previous year, because we salivated for a Cena loss, it didn't work when Punk was on the chopping block.After losing two PPVs in a row, the question then became "How to protect Punk when he's due another loss to The Undertaker at 'Mania?" Well, if you ask me, losing to Taker at 'Mania isn't a loss. It's expected. And it's always a great match and an honorable defeat. But Punk wasn't excited about facing Taker. Because he's, you know, moody and s***. Even in my own brief interview with him , he didn't seem stoked. To be facing Undertaker or to be talking to press.But he and Heyman did seem to have fun running a gauntlet of tastelessness with the urn - a storyline unexpectedly, and tragically, prompted by the real life death of William Moody - aka "Paul Bearer." Whether you think it all went too far or not, you have to agree that "Urn Anderson" is a gift.God bless you, whoever made this...See, kids. When the internet's used for good, it can enhance the viewing experience.

Daniel Bryan, Triple H, and flagrant booby abuse on Page 2...