The final siren had just sounded to end our game against Hawthorn.

Usually after a tough loss, it’s a feeling of disappointment, even slight embarrassment, that leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

Instead, we are giving fist bumps to the opposition, rather than the common handshake, and we’re not wishing them best of luck for the season. There was dead silence in the crowd and sarcastic banter exchanged between players, like “have fun on your Mad Monday, see you in six months”.

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Round 18

This time it felt somewhat superficial, in the sense that everyone had an eerie feeling this might be the first and last game of the 2020 season we play.

As soon as we walked off the ground, we went straight to the coaches’ room. That’s when we were told the AFL has suspended the season till May 31.

Post-game, fist bumps were the way to go. Picture: Quinn Rooney Source: Getty Images

Doing some quick math, we were out of the game for at least nine weeks.

The general public knew before we did. At half-time the message was out that the season had been postponed. But we, as players, were oblivious, running around trying to reel the Hawks in.

PANIC AT AFL HOUSE?

On March 13, during our annual four-day break before season the season was due to commence, all clubs were briefed to be cautious in public areas with large groups of people.

I had booked a trip to interview Patty Cripps and Max Gawn at AFL House in Melbourne. But then I received a phone call from my manager that AFL House had gone into complete lockdown. That sent me into a bit of panic mode.

I arrived there at 7am on the Friday to record my weekly podcast Rip Through It. Gillon McLachlan walked straight past me with no awareness I was there, but it was visible he was on a mission. But can I say he has done a fantastic job at keeping everyone in the AFL community in the loop, while keeping everyone’s safety and interests at heart.

From there, the coronavirus in Australia had become somewhat of a reality, not just doomsday 'preppers' overloading on toilet paper.

The week leading up to Round 1 was a rollercoaster, a wave of emotions. As a newly-appointed AFLPA delegate, I was involved in phone calls that I did not foresee myself ever being part of.

The reality of staff being made redundant, huge pay cuts across the competition, big-time clubs and the AFL potentially going bankrupt if we didn’t get any games into the season – it was all very eye-opening.

As a player, you expect to play 22 games and finals no matter the circumstances and, to be honest, we would never question the AFL’s financial stability.

WE’RE NOT ALL MILLIONAIRES

My first thoughts as a dad was what happens if we don’t play. We obviously don’t get paid, so what about our superannuation, retirement funds, mortgages, school fees and bills we must pay?

The misconception in the general public is that we all have millions of dollars saved up. That isn’t the case.

James Worpel and Mitch Robinson. Picture: Dylan Burns Source: Getty Images

Then there was the mass phone call with players from all 18 clubs on the Tuesday night, where we were given an idea of what could happen before the floor was open for questions. We decided that we wanted to just play football.

For a lot of players, that’s what we know gives hope to communities and helps ease stress for those struggling – even if I’s only for a couple hours on the weekend.

A survey was taken, with all players logging in anonymously to get a gauge of the playing group. Your options were: 17 games, 22 games or postpone the season. It was heavily favoured to 22 games.

But throughout this whole process, the waiting game was the worst. Were we going to play or not?

Carlton and Richmond kicked off the 2020 AFL season. Picture: Robert Cianflone Source: Getty Images

We’d just finished our gruelling pre-season that started back in November. Our boys covered thousands of kilometres collectively in the humid Brisbane heat. There were long meetings over our game plans, structures, training reviews and leadership activities, plus long gym sessions – all to be ready for Round 1. Carlton and Richmond literally found out 24 hours prior to their clash they were good to go.

STRANGE TIMES

This has been the most bizarre two weeks, not just of my 12-year AFL career, but my lifetime.

I’d gone from playing in front of 95,000-plus in my debut game to potentially running out in my 200th with my kids to an empty stadium.

This is a once-in-a-generation, worldwide problem – and it’s taken a suspended AFL season to truly show me that.

Hawthorn defeated Mitch Robinson’s Brisbane Lions at the MCG. Picture: Quinn Rooney/Getty Images Source: Getty Images

I had no attached feelings in the Hawthorn game. I knew that soon as I ran out.

I’ve run through a banner 191 times and that’s my signal to switch the f*** on and get ready for battle. I obviously wanted to win, but my passion I can always count on was lacking.

You could hear absolutely everything on the field, from opponents being chirpy to fake-it-till-you-make-it positivity, which just seemed forced.

WHERE TO NOW?

On Monday morning, while we aren’t playing games the club told us we would receive our last pay cycle next week. Then discussions will be held between the AFL and AFLPA in the coming weeks.

This is something we’ve been prepared for over the past couple weeks, so although it’s still come as a shock, we will hopefully resume in late May or early June. Rest assured, the Lions have been so supportive to all our players and staff in these uncertain, confusing times.

Across the league, we are given a compulsory two weeks off. Players can return to their hometown and families as of Monday, knowing quarantine is inevitable. Individualised programs and support mechanisms have been sent out in support of the players to remain healthy so we can resume training when required.

We, as players, haven’t given up on the 2020 season. We are under no illusions it might be cancelled, but as professionals and 365-day athletes, we’ll be ready.

While training in groups no more than six, I will be focusing on my Rip Through It podcast and delving in to my gaming and streaming to stay connected with the fans on Twitch.

Through all this, if anything can be said it’s this: Our great game is nothing without the fans. We thank you and encourage you to stick by your club during the tough times.