While browsing the internet I came across this advertisement for Sauza Tequila. A conventionally attractive lifeguard mugs for the camera, shows off his physique and makes frozen cocktails because he knows how to take awesome care of the ladies. I was willing to brush it off as silly fluff until he said that taking care a woman includes

“keeping her shoe tree organized, her ex boyfriend from texting her, or her mom from blowing up her Facebook wall”

Later he raises his glass and says:

“I believe celebrity gossip is as important as the news, and if Jill buys the same purse, I’ll tell you you wear it better, because I’m a lifeguard and I care.”

The cheesy music and “gawk at the beefcake” vibe is tongue in cheek. And I admit I laughed a little bit when he broke the fourth wall with a smoldering “I love you.” But it’s hard to take most of the text of the ad as a joke. The things the Lifeguard says are supposed to be equally as appealing as his looks, and therefore the tequila. If we are meant to disagree with what he says, why would we want to accept his drink?

To sum up – women need men to organize our wardrobes, protect us from other men, run interference with our mothers, and validate how vapid, jealous and materialistic we are. We should be so flattered that a man would accept and embrace our neuroses and shallowness that we buy Sauza tequila.

I looked at the rest of the ads on Sauza’s YouTube Channel, and they are simpler, focusing mainly on how attractive the lifeguard is. Perhaps they are going for a parallel to beer and car commercials where stereotypically beautiful women are used to sell products to men. The thing is, in those advertisements the women don’t say things like,

“I know how to treat a man; keeping your toolbox organized, preventing your ex girlfriend from calling you and knowing that video games are as important as the news.”

Ads that feature sexy women targeted at men objectify women. This ad, featuring a sexy man, targeted at women…insults women.

No thanks, Sauza Tequila.

Elizabeth also blogs at Political Flavors. You can follow her on Twitter @MissCherryPi.