you tell me to come to your party/event/thing because it will ‘cheer me up’

because decades of therapy and pills have failed. but your barbecue might just do the trick.

you tell me i can heal myself with self-love

because if i believe in something, it must be true. santa, bring me a porsche.

you say things like ‘you don’t LOOK depressed’

because my priority in life should be making sure everyone that sees me knows how sick i am. so i must remember to look like shit all the time from now on. or, if i can’t do that, i should have a t-shirt made that says ‘miserable bitch’.

you think i’ve got ‘nothing to be unhappy about’

because i haven’t. that’s why i’m not unhappy. i’m depressed.

you think i should ‘just find a hobby’

because if i do something haven’t done before, my depression might be fooled into going away. because i’ve never tried that and failed. because maybe i can crochet myself a new brain.

you tell me that your friend/cousin/sister’s best friends’ next door neighbour had depression and is now ‘cured’

because comparing my lifelong battle to a single minor episode – which some random stranger has clearly coped with much better than i can – is truly inspiring and not thoughtless at all.

you tell me that i should see a naturopath/hypnotist/faith healer/some other random weirdo

because they ‘could really help me’ and i should try everything or else you won’t be convinced that i really do want to be better. not to mention that i’ve got tons of time and heaps of money to waste on bullshit, too.

you tell me my unevenness is distressing for you

because it’s not at all distressing for me, right? my major concern should be that you know what’s going on. or, you could just fuck off. that works, too.

you think i’m cured if i have a good day

because you’re just going to get upset all over again when it’s temporary. regardless of the fact that it’s happened, ooooooh, about six thousand times so far.

you think all depression can be treated or fixed

because, clearly, the media says it can, so i mustn’t be trying hard enough. because lifelong depression isn’t a thing. it’s just clearly some sort of lifestyle choice i’ve made.