Following up on its successful investigative reporting about the child slave colony that NASA operates on Mars, the Trump-endorsed alternative/made-up news site InfoWars has broken another big scoop. Via Media Matters’ transcript of an InfoWars broadcast segment:

So much news and the news is so big and the news is so frequent that the biggest news every day becomes a back-page story the next day. The Las Vegas massacre cover-up, nothing. The JFK files being declassified, Hitler still alive.

Sure, sure, right, Las Vegas, JFK files, Hitler—all big news stories in the last few—wait, I’m sorry, did you say Hitler still alive?

All the history textbooks lied to us. I was lied to my entire life about JFK, knowingly, by my government. I was lied to my entire life about Hitler, knowingly, by my government. And that’s just a nonstory now because you’ve got another radical truck running people down in the streets. Folks, I’m Owen Shroyer filling in for Alex Jones today.

Huh. Huh. Well, moving on!