Hey! I'm an executive at my school's gender advocacy group and somebody came in today asking for resources or guides on how to present as femme in a very basic or subtle way, when they're body is socially interpreted as male (that was a super long description sorry). I literally just saw your comic "It's not a race", and thought you might be a good person to ask this question. Thanks! and sorry for the lengthy message.

I have an non-answer and a suggestion!

The non-answer is that it’s up to them. I know what femme means for me, but will it match what it means for them? Maybe! Or maybe it’s irrelevant or contrary! The important thing is to experiment, and accept that not every venture will be a wonderful empowering experience. It’s very much a matter of trial and error.

Here’s my suggestion!

Make a list! List all ways you might present as femme, circle the ones you’d like to try (or be willing to try) and take your time testing to see which ones work and which don’t. If it’s cool, then recruit friends! post photos! Just remember if something doesn’t suit you it’s not because you’re a failed femme, it’s because it’s not your thing!



Here’s what I’ve learned from my baby steps so far:

I love nail polish on my toes, hate it on my hands

I don’t like wigs, I prefer to grow out my hair

I love jewelry, but I’m not always in the mood to wear it

Lipstick is nice, not sure if I like lip gloss just yet.

Bras make me feel stupid. Avoid!

Pigtails - YAAAAASSSSsss!!!

I’m still working on my list. I’m still learning to tackle each item with a grain of salt instead of obsessing over their “success.” It’s almost never a smooth process. But with each small victory I find my confidence building.



Hope that helps! Sorry for my lengthy response! ^____^;

