1. Impossibly Delicious 2. An Impossible Year

Story Notes: Inspired by a very real, and very stupid hoax story that was floating around the web a few months back: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/impossible-whoppers-estrogen/

A car drove past a billboard on the road that proclaimed “Try the BRAND NEW Impossible Burger at BQ!”. Inside the car, Stacy turned to her boyfriend Brendan.



“Do you think you’re gonna try the Impossible Burger?” Stacy asked.



“I don’t know. It seems interesting, but I’m a meat-eater, so I don’t see any time I’d want a vegan burger.” Brendan said.



“It would be healthier.” Stacy added. “And apparently you can’t taste the difference.”



“I’ll just have to see, although I’ve heard stories online that the burger makes guys grow boobs.” Brendan chuckled. “Something about plant estrogen.”



“That stupid conspiracy theory? It’s not scientifically accurate, and plant estrogen is in like a bunch of other foods.” Stacy said. “Besides, the only people who believe that are far-right lunatics.”



“I dunno, I guess I’ll just have to see if I’m ever in the mood to try it.” Brendan said.



A few days later, Brendan was taking his lunch break from the office, and passed by a Burger Queen. Walking inside, Brendan spotted a familiar face, his friend Luke in the line.



“Luke! What’s up?” Brendan asked as he joined Luke on the line.



Luke was a big guy, broad shoulders, beefy arms, and a lumberjack beard, truly a man’s man.



“Not much, just here to try out the new Impossible Burger.” Luke replied.



“Really? Never pegged you for a vegetarian.” Brendan said.



“I’m not, it just seemed like an interesting thing to get.” Luke said. “Plus, if I wanna keep these muscles, I’ve gotta stay healthy.”



“Good point.” Brendan nodded as Luke flexed.



After they ordered and received their food, Brendan and Luke sat down at a nearby table and started to eat.



“How is it?” Brendan asked as Luke took a bite out of his Impossible Burger.



“It’s incredible! It tastes just like beef!” Luke exclaimed. “Wanna try?”



“I think I’ll pass…” Brendan said. “I’m content with my chicken sandwich.”



“Your loss…” Luke muttered as he continued eating.



Returning home that night, Brendan sat down on the couch next to Stacy as yet another commercial played on the TV for the “Impossible Burger”.



“They’re really promoting the crap out of this thing, that’s the sixth one during this show!” Brendan remarked.



“I guess it’s really good.” Stacy said. “Have you had it yet?”



“No, but I ran into Luke today and he was raving about it.” Brendan said.



A few days later, Brendan decided to take his lunch break at Burger Queen once more, and got on line.



“Hmm… Maybe I will get the Impossible Burger today…” Brendan mused. “Then again, I feel like maybe I want the fish sandwich…”



“Brendan!” a voice shouted from behind.



Brendan turned around and was shocked by what he saw. Luke’s full beard was gone, and his hair, which seemed longer, sat messily around his face.



“Luke! Holy shit! You shaved the beard!” Brendan exclaimed.



“Yeah, I just felt like a change.”Luke said nervously.



“And your hair… it seems longer.” Brendan said. “It's only been a few days, is that possible?”



“I was running late after the gym and didn’t have time to brush, that’s why you notice.” Luke said, running his hand over his hair to smooth it down.



“I see.” Brendan said. “Back for another burger?”



“You know it! That Impossible Burger is so good!” Luke said. “You gonna try it?”



“Maybe another time.” Brendan said worriedly.



Later, Brendan and Stacy were laying in bed together as Brendan explained his concerns about Luke.



“I’m telling you, right after he ate the burger, he started acting weird.” Brendan said. “You know Luke, he loved that beard!”



“People can change their opinions about their looks whenever they want.” Stacy said. “Like if I wanted to be a brunette tomorrow, I could be.”



“I think something’s going on with Luke.” Brendan said. “I just hope he’s okay.”



A few days later, Brendan was arriving at the gym to work out, since he had to make up for all the fast food he’d been eating lately. As he arrived, he bumped into a person wearing a bulky hoodie and sweatpants, knocking them to the floor.



“Sorry about that.” Brendan said, extending his hand to help the person up.



The person took his hand and Brendan began to help pull them up. The hood fell back, revealing Luke, who looked emaciated compared to how Brendan remembered. His full face was thinner, his hair was much longer and messily tied back with some longer strands glued to his face by sweat, plus, despite the implausibility of it, Brendan almost felt that Luke was shorter than he’d been just a few days earlier.



“Luke?” Brendan exclaimed. “What happened to you?”



“Nothing, I think I’ve got a bug or something, but it’s fine, I’m working on it.” Luke said, his arms crossed over his chest.



Brendan’s eyes drifted and he could swear he noticed something straining against the hoodie on Luke’s chest.



“They couldn’t possibly be breasts, right?” Brendan thought, then aloud he said, “Luke, whatever the problem is, I’m there for you. Stacy too! If you need anything…”



“Just let it go, okay?” Luke's voice cracked, as he demanded, pushing past Brendan and rushed out of the gym.



Brendan could only watch with concern and dismay at what his friend had become. There was definitely something going on there.



“All right, all right!” Stacy exclaimed. “I’ll eat the stupid burger, but I still think you’re overreacting. I mean, what are the odds that all this stuff happened to Luke just because he ate a burger. We’d hear about this stuff on the news!”



“I know, I just… I need to be sure.” Brendan said, frantically. “Luke won’t talk to me, he hasn’t answered the door…”



“I know how worried you are about him. I am too.” Stacy said. “I’ll order in, you want anything?”



“Yeah, just get me a regular burger.” Brendan said.



A while later, the couple was sitting on the couch, eating the burgers. Brendan put the last piece of his burger into his mouth and swallowed. Stacy put down her burger and examined it again.



“It’s amazing! It actually tastes just like meat, you’ve gotta try it!” Stacy insisted.



“I don’t think so.” Brendan said, putting a hand on his stomach. “Even if I wasn’t full…”



“I just can’t believe it.” Stacy looked at the wrapper.



She turned to the wrapper that Brendan was quickly balling up. Her face fell and she grabbed it out of his hands.



“Hold on!” Stacy demanded, unwrapping the wrapper slowly. “Oh no…”



“What?” Brendan asked.



“I think they screwed up the order. I think we got two Impossible burgers.” Stacy replied.



Brendan started to feel nauseous, but pushed the feelings back.



“Guess it really did taste just like meat, right?” Stacy asked. “And listen, it’s like I said, whatever’s going on with Luke might not even be related to the stupid burger. Brendan? Brendan!”



Brendan couldn’t respond, he simply stared forward with a worried expression on his face.



The next morning, Brendan woke up, and immediately knew something was wrong. His chest felt like it was on fire! Brendan rushed into the bathroom and turned on the lights. He looked into the mirror as he examined his chest. His pecs were puffy and the nipples were red and swollen.



“What the hell is all this?” Stacy shouted from the other room. “Brendan! Why is there hair all over the bed?”



“Why is there what?” Brendan asked, before looking down at his body.



His normally hairy legs, hairy chest, hairy arms, they were all smooth and bare. For the first time, he noticed how cold the linoleum floor was as he felt chills going up his body.



“Did you hear me?” Stacy asked. “I said why is there…”



Stacy stopped in her tracks as Brendan turned around and she saw his chest and lack of body hair.



“What the hell?” Stacy asked.



The doctor looked over a clipboard of test results as he turned back to Brendan, sitting on the exam table fidgeting around.



“Well, this is absolutely incredible.” the doctor said.



“What’s wrong with me, doc?” Brendan asked.



“According to the blood test, you’ve had a sudden spike in estrogen, which is essentially causing your body to… for lack of a better term, go through a second puberty. Except it’s a version of female puberty.” the doctor said. “And you’re sure the only estrogen you’ve been exposed to was that burger? You didn’t accidentally take some of your girlfriend’s birth control pills by mistake?”



“The only thing out of the ordinary was the burger.” Brendan insisted.



“I see…” the doctor noted on his chart.



“Can this be reversed? Is it gonna turn me into a full on woman?” Brendan asked.



“Unfortunately, I can’t answer that. You’re the first case I’ve seen,” the doctor replied. “Your case is unique for the moment until I have a case study.”



Over the next few days, Brendan experienced slow changes, his hair growing, loss of muscle mass, and the swelling in his chest eventually graduated into being what Stacy qualified as A-cup breasts. At her insistence, he started wearing a bra. But the biggest change came on the third day, when he stood up from bed and discovered that he’d lost about two inches off of his height.



He’d given Luke enough space and hadn’t even tried to visit as he and Stacy were too preoccupied with figuring out what was going on with Brendan’s body. But now he had to find his friend.



“Luke! Open up! I need to talk!” Brendan frantically pounded on the door to Luke’s apartment. “I had the burger, it’s happening to me too! I’m freaking out and I need to know you’re okay!”



After a few moments, Brendan heard the door unlocking. He stepped back and looked at the floor as the door opened. In front of him, he saw a pair of dainty feet with painted toenails. Following it up the body, he saw a pair of shapely legs in yoga pants, a t-shirt covering a pair of C-cup breasts, and Luke’s face, all the features were there, just changed, and with makeup on them. A smaller nose, fuller lips, and long hair tied in a messy bun. To top things off, the friend who used to be inches taller than him was now dwarfed by Brendan’s 5’8” frame.



“Luke? Brendan asked, his voice cracking.



“I… I go by Lucy now.” Lucy replied in a higher voice.



In what was formerly Luke’s, and now Lucy’s apartment, the two friends caught up over coffee. Brendan watched as Lucy’s hands with manicured fingernails gripped the mug as she… there was no other way Brendan could think of Lucy, lifted it to her face.



“Is that part of it?” Brendan asked, motioning to Lucy’s fingers.



“Oh, the nail polish? No, they just grew longer.” Lucy said. “My sister Carrie did that. She was the first person I told.”



“The nurse.” Brendan remembered.



“Yeah, I figured she could help me, but she couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I didn’t even consider it was the burger until I had the second one and things started to ramp up faster. I mean, it’s been a few days for you and you’re still mostly male. I was way further along. “Lucy said. “That’s why I was so skittish at the gym. I was trying to… I dunno, sweat it out? Or bulk up my body? But it wasn’t working, and when I saw you… I was ashamed, I guess. That’s why I ran.”



“And you’ve just accepted it?” Brendan asked.



“Not accepted, but it doesn’t seem like there’s a cure, so I’ve got to make the most of it. At least that’s what Carrie said. She’d been a real help, buying me clothes, teaching me about being a woman.” Lucy said.



“Do you still have… you know?” Brendan asked. “Mine hasn’t changed yet but…”



“I’m surprised at you, Brendan! Asking a lady about what’s in her pants!” Lucy made a mock offended face, then softened. “It’s still there… but it’s shrinking, and hasn’t been much use. I don’t think it’ll just go away, but Carrie said if it gets small enough, I’d need surgery so that I can pee correctly.”



“Is that gonna happen to me?” Brendan asked, shocked.



“I don’t know.” Lucy said, grabbing Brendan’s hand. “Like I said, I had a double dose so my experience might be greater. Who knows? You might be able to reverse the changes.”



“I hope you’re right…” Brendan sighed.



“Do you mind showing me how far along you are?” Lucy asked.



“I guess not…” Brendan said.



Brendan stood up and pulled up his loose-fitting t-shirt to show Lucy his chest. She simply nodded solemnly. Things were far from over, this was only the beginning.



To Be Continued