"I want to share what I learned about spending my entire twenties in debt," I said to a friend in the pub when we sneaked in a quick drink before dinner at a new restaurant we'd finally bagged a reservation for. "Tips on how to avoid it would be so useful for young people," she nodded sagely before taking a gulp of her pint.

"That's not quite what I was thinking," I said, wearily familiar with the fact that anyone who's admirably managed to keep their finances in order seems to think that all you need to know about debt is: Don't get into it.

Everyone knows only stupid people get into debt. Only frivolous, silly people spend money they don't have. It's easy to keep your bank account in check if you just exercise a bit of restraint and caution, right? Plenty of other people manage it, so why can't you?

I have as many tips on staying in the black as there are now credit card companies who will let me have access to their plastic, which is to say: zero.

What I do know plenty about though, is how easy it is to spend almost a decade swimming upstream against expensive rent, with ever-mounting pressure to feel like you're living "the best years of your life". Life in your twenties can take unpredictable turns. I have all sorts of insights into how hard it is to stay afloat when your life feels out of control and your money feels like sand through your fingers. And I can hands down assure you that finding yourself at the bottom of a pit of financial despair does not make you a stupid person, even though you will almost definitely feel like the biggest idiot on the planet.

I know that quitting the job that's causing you to spend every evening lying face down in bed crying to take an unpaid internship, even when you've not got a penny to your name, can completely transform your career prospects, and can be worth all the money it costs you in the end.

I know that borrowing £3,000 from a partner to cover debt accumulated while interning is a risk that is impossible to see when you feel like your relationship is solid and you're offered a lifeline you desperately need.

I know that it is time to end things when it is obvious that the financial implication of breaking up is one of the things keeping the relationship together, and that you have to find a way to cover those costs even if you have no idea how at the time.

I know that when you find yourself unexpectedly in need of a rental deposit because your partner paid the whole of the last one on the flat you shared, getting a £750 bank loan before someone else has snapped up the only house-share you can face living in is sometimes the only option.

I can tell you that you may as well call it £1,000 when you take into account that there'll be estate agent fees – wait, up that to £1,500, because the laptop was theirs too, and you're never going to be able to do your job without one.

I get that sometimes all you can do is take the loan and worry about the consequences later, and you shouldn't let anyone make you feel any lower than you already do.

But I can't pretend that you won't feel like your friends are judging you when they see you with a new laptop and say, "I thought you had no money?"

I can advise that you're better off keeping details of your situation to yourself as much as you can, because even people you consider to be close friends might surprise you when it comes to their attitude towards money, and they're highly unlikely to feel as sorry for you as you hope they will.

I truly believe that when you find yourself single for the first time in years, it's important to be getting out and meeting new people, so it's not entirely frivolous to prioritise the little funds you have for socialising.

I am well aware that in a lot of jobs, promotions start in the pub, and that buying drinks you probably can't afford may turn out to be worth more than you think.