Because hospital reports of spiders living in women's ears and fish jumping down children's throats aren't harrowing enough, here's some more shudder gasoline for the nightmare conflagration raging in your brain. As The New Zealand Herald reports of a patient at Auckland City Hospital last week:

The notion of spiders clambering into our orifices while we sleep may sound like the purview of…

"The eel was about the size of a decent sprig of asparagus and the incident is the talk of the place," a hospital source said. "Doctors and nurses have come across people with strange objects that have got stuck where they shouldn't be before, but an eel has to be a first." [...]