It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. A client is trying to rope me into a multi-level-marketing scheme

I recently took a new job as a sales rep. I’m new to this job, but I’ve been in the larger industry for quite some time. I inherited several accounts and have been going around introducing myself.

At one particular account, I met with the woman who is the buyer and also owns the business. We had a great meeting but at the end she mentioned a side hustle. Of course I asked about it and then I got a 15-minute hard pitch on Rodan and Fields. Not just on buying products from her but also pushing me to join her downline and sit in on an “informative” call this weekend. I begged off as much as possible without actually saying no. This is a client that I could potentially sell quite a bit of product to. I’m feeling somewhat resentful that she’s put me in this position in the first place but I don’t want to jeopordize the relationship. She made a point of telling me about how another rep (who no longer calls on her but did) buys tons from her. How do I navigate this?

“Thanks, but it’s not for me!” Repeat as necessary. Truly, that’s it. Multi-level-marketing schemes rely on people caving under the pressure or agreeing to listen to a spiel just to be polite. Stick to a firm “nope” and she’ll likely drop it over time. Being direct like that is actually better than the hinting it sounds like you were doing. MLMs train people to ignore or overcome hints; a direct no will actually save you both time and trouble.

And as long as you’re cheerful and polite about it, it shouldn’t jeopardize the relationship — but if it does, then that means the price of keeping this relationship is becoming involved in a multi-level marketing scheme, and that’s almost certainly an unreasonable price.

2. Coworkers keep scheduling over my pumping times

I’m a breastfeeding mom, so I need to pump at work twice a day. The good news is my company has breastfeeding-friendly policies and a nice lactation room in every building. My manager is also supportive.

The bad news is that I have a very meeting-heavy job. I block my pumping times on my calendar weeks in advance. However, my coworkers constantly schedule critical meetings at the same time. I’m not talking about an occasional urgent request; this happens 2-5 times a week.

This actually happens with any appointment on my calendar; over-scheduling is pervasive at my company. We are generally expected to just rearrange according to priority. That’s often what triggers the awkward conversations. For example:

“I can’t make the meeting at 3, can we move to 3:30?”

“This is the best time, just move the other meeting.”

“I really can’t.”

“Why not? It’s really important you be at the 3 o’clock.”

“I have something else. I can do 2:30 or 3:30.”

“That doesn’t work for Jane. What is the other meeting?”

It’s not easy to move my pumping times around. I share the lactation room with several other coworkers, and long delays are uncomfortable and can cause health problems or decreased milk supply. I really just need people to respect the blocked time. However, I feel that openly discussing pumping at work, especially with male coworkers, is taboo. I don’t want to make people uncomfortable. I also don’t want to contribute to the perception that working mothers are less capable or dedicated. Any tips for how to bring this issue up with minimal awkwardness?

Just come out and say it! This is a normal thing, it’s not taboo, and you don’t need to pretend it’s not happening, particularly when there is a work-related reason to just say it rather than dancing around it.

You could either do it case by case (“I’m pumping then and can’t schedule over it”) or more big-picture with people who do it all the time (“Hey, please don’t schedule over things on my calendar for the foreseeable future, because some of those are pumping times and can’t be moved”).

3. Our receptionist said she’ll delete any emails waiting for her when she’s back from vacation

The building that I work in doesn’t get much foot traffic, so the receptionist also doubles as a general administrator for, e.g., reserving meeting rooms, filling out financial or HR paperwork, etc. Because she’s very chatty, and because my job requires a lot of traveling and working odd hours, people in my position typically email this receptionist if we need anything non-urgent.

Today the receptionist sent out a mass email to the building. She’s going on vacation next week, so she requests that we don’t email her. Indeed, she will delete any email that she receives during that week, because she “doesn’t want to deal with 100 emails when she returns.”

And, look, it’s not *that* hard for me to pop into my calendar “don’t email the receptionist,” but isn’t dealing with one’s work emails when one returns from vacation a basic part of an office job? Of course if I emailed someone and didn’t hear a response, I would follow up, but the thought of someone just deleting my emails because they didn’t want to deal with them is one I find very perplexing. Or is this normal office admin behaviour, and I’m just confused? I want to be treating admins respectfully, and I’m worried that if I wouldn’t be corrected even if I were making some sort of email faux pas.

Ha! No, it’s not normal to delete all your emails after you return from a vacation, and it’s also not normal to tell people not to email your work email while you’re away. It’s certainly normal to say that you won’t be reading said emails while you’re away, but typically the expectation is that people will continue sending things to your account when they need to and you’ll deal with them once you’re back. And particularly in an admin position, where the job is a support role and at least part of the job is to make other people’s lives easier, everything about this is silly.

I don’t know the dynamics in your office, but in most offices it would be reasonable for someone to talk to her manager and say, “Hey, this won’t work — can you intervene here?”

4. I’m shedding hair all over the office

I have a weird problem. I work in a small office — less than 10 people. It is a very open and collaborative environment so we move about the office throughout the day. My problem is my long, thick, dark hair — I shed! My husband jokes that I leave a trail of hair wherever I go. It has become a bit of a running joke in the office when a coworker plucks one of my hairs off a chair, the carpet, etc. In an effort to be more professional, most days I wear my hair up. That makes a bit of a difference but I don’t want to do that every single day. I pick up every hair I see to avoid someone else having to interact with my hair. Coworkers aren’t visibly too grossed out and sort of laugh in an “Oh Sally was here!” manner, but I’m trying to prevent this as much as possible.

I’m sure they realize I can’t really help it and are being kind but I’m trying to be as courteous as possible. Am I making a bigger deal about this than it is? Is there anything else I can do? Does this happen to other ladies out there?!

Yes, you’re making a bigger deal out of than it is. People shed hair! And when you have long hair, it’s more noticeable when it happens. It’s definitely considerate of you to pick it up when you see it, but I wouldn’t worry about people being disgusted or thinking you’re unprofessional.

5. Listing memberships on a resume

I’m updating my resume for a new job search and I’m wondering if I should include “memberships” in internal groups at my current company. Specifically, I’m a member of the women’s network and a board member on the wellness committee, the latter of which required an application process. On one hand, who cares; on the other hand, maybe it will look like I’m involved in the company for more than just a paycheck.

As a follow up, how do you feel about listing activities done with the current company, like participating in the Pride March or food drives? Worth adding? Too Max Fisher?

I wouldn’t add internal work memberships unless you can list specific accomplishments tied to them; otherwise there’s too much chance that it’ll be read as “signed up on a list and attended a meeting or two,” which isn’t resume worthy.

Similarly, I wouldn’t add activities that aren’t substantive, ongoing ones where you can clearly describe your impact and results. Something like participating in a march or food drive isn’t enough to put on a resume. In some cases organizing them could be, if you can frame your work in terms of size or results (even then, though, it won’t always be strong enough to include).