I USED to believe in marrying for love.

I thought that one day I’d meet a great guy, settle down and we’d have a beautiful life together. It sort of happened that way: I met a guy I thought was pretty great and married him, and we spent 10 years together — the first six were pretty good, and then the last four was me just trying to save a sinking relationship while he sank beers and screwed my friends.

Not only was I heartbroken, but when the divorce was settled I also realised I was flat broke. All that I’d been saving for had been frittered away by my ex-husband’s debts and dodgy investment decisions. So there I was, in my mid-30s, without $10 to my name.

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That’s when I made the decision that would change my life

I decided to extend my criteria when choosing a mate. Next time, I vowed I wouldn’t just focus on wit and impressive abs — that didn’t get me far in the past. This time I was more concerned about a wage packet than a six-pack.

“It’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man,” my mum always used to say, and now I realise she was on the money.

If my marriage had ended and my husband had money, I still would have been devastated, but at least I would have been left with something.

Marrying for love had left me with a broken heart, a bruised ego, and a significant credit card debt. Surely I could do better.

I’m not an unattractive woman. I keep fit and I take care of my appearance. I know men notice me.

I made it my special project to make sure the right men noticed me

Men like Geoffrey Edelston — a guy who clearly understands the value of a transactional relationship. He takes care of his partner, and she takes care of him. Isn’t that what we’re all after, really, if we’re honest with ourselves?

We each bring our strengths and weaknesses to any relationship — my strength is that I’m pretty and I know how to make a guy feel good, and my perfect man’s strength is that he can pay my bills and buy me nice things.

Everyone’s a winner. It’s what I like to call a mutually beneficial relationship.

I don’t look at it as any different to admitting you’re attracted to blondes, or science nerds, or tall guys.

Money is just something I find super attractive in a man and I won’t apologise for it

I tried the regular dating apps first — I was upfront and honest about what I had to offer, and what I expected in return. I copped a fair bit of abuse, but let’s face it, it was all from poor dudes. But I had to go back to the drawing board.

I researched and found there were apps dedicated to these kinds of relationships. Places where you could be super honest and not get crucified for it. So, I uploaded some hot shots of me and some flirty text. I said I wanted someone to take care of me — age and looks no object. But I stipulated that he had to be kind, and I wouldn’t put up with anyone cheating or treating me like a doormat.

There’s something about these types of relationships that means it doesn’t take long to find someone. I guess because you’re not waiting for lightning to strike — you’re just looking for someone who ticks your very reasonable boxes.

It took me six days to find Joe

Joe is 28 years older than me. He loves that I’m young, fit, blonde and energetic. I love that he’s nurturing, settled, successful and, yes, eye-wateringly wealthy. It’s not something I’ve hidden from him, just as the fact that he is turned on by my looks is no secret either. We’ve been together six months now, and he’s taken me on two overseas holidays, and we’re about to move in together in an apartment that I wouldn’t have even dared look at before I met Joe.

And Joe is incredibly kind and generous. He gives me his credit card to use if I’m out and about — just in case I see something I want to buy. He’s bought me an entire new wardrobe — all clothes that highlight my figure, of course, because that’s what he’s getting out of this. We’re having a wonderful time together, and I know that if things end, I won’t be worse off than when I came into this.

Joe’s daughter — who is two years older than me — told him she thinks he’s being taken for a ride. He told her his success means he’s in a position to make better choices in life — and that he chooses me. He’s happy with me, and I’m happy with him.

We’re both consenting adults, so what’s the issue?

Hypergamy is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying a spouse of higher caste or social status than themselves.

This article originally appeared on whimn.com.au and is republished with permission.