Efficiency Win: This New Gmail Predictive Text Feature Will Auto-Write Passionate Replies To Ardent Love Letters From Your Suitors

No one likes wasting their afternoon replying to email after email, and the clever minds at Google have developed a brilliant way to help their users streamline the process: A brand-new Gmail predictive text feature will now auto-write passionate replies to ardent love letters from your suitors.

Wow, this is going to be a huge timesaver!

The effort it takes to draft heartfelt replies to every last one of your admirers’ impassioned missives can easily start to eat into your schedule, and Gmail’s new update to their auto-reply feature will let you instantly return your suitors’ affection without having to probe the depths of your soul for the words to give voice to your innermost desires. Gmail’s algorithm will read each love letter to ensure its suggestions are context-appropriate, so if your suitor writes that “Your radiant tresses like moonlight fall,” Gmail will know to offer replies like “Then as Endymion sought his fair Selene, fly to me that I might caress you in their glow.” Just look at how expertly it responds to this rapturous declaration of love:

You’ve got to hand it to Google, they really know how to improve on an already useful product.

As if the passionate auto-replies weren’t impressive enough already, the predictive text will also learn from any responses you type out manually, remembering whether you prefer to characterize your suitor’s love as nurturing and gentle like a summer breeze or resolute and unyielding as a towering mountain range. It’s going to be so convenient to just click a box that says “Mere words can no more contain my love for you than a thimble can hold the sea,” and then move on to the next item in your inbox.

Google has even said they hope to eventually get their predictive text generator to pen entire sonnets on the bewitching aspect of a beloved’s brow, although only heroic couplets exulting in the tide-like rhythm of a sleeping lover’s breath will be available at launch.

It’s little quality-of-life improvements like this that make Gmail one of the best email platforms in the game. Here’s looking forward to all the hours we’ll save thanks to this awesome new feature!