What does he eat for breakfast? What was it like working with Chris Morris? What’s the point? As a new series of Black Mirror is released, the comedy curmudgeon answers your questions

Five minutes into our interview, Charlie Brooker leans over the table, his face etched with worry: “Is this thing still on?” he asks, picking up my voice recorder and examining it. “Oh God, I’ve just pressed something and switched if off now, haven’t I? Sorry, it’s just that technology really worries me ...”

Black Mirror review – Charlie Brooker's splashy new series is still a sinister marvel Read more

Charlie Brooker worried by technology? OK, so possibly you might have guessed that already from the dystopian short stories that make up the two series of Black Mirror. In its brief life (six episodes and a Christmas special), the show managed to conjure bleak – and, quite often, hilarious – thought-experiments out of everything from screen addiction and downloadable memory to eerie artificial boyfriends brought back from the dead via their social media accounts. That’s before we’ve even mentioned the forthcoming series, which, judging by the feature-length Scandi-noir episode we’ve seen in advance, doesn’t score high on the cheeriness scale.

But while technology can be terrifying, it also has its plus points. For instance, we can quickly gather questions for Charlie on the Guardian’s website from our readers and some famous faces. This is especially helpful because Guardian readers have a tendency to ask things that are smarter, ruder and just plain weirder (“Have you ever made bagels?”) than anything we might have come up with. So, without further ado, here’s what you wanted to know from the smartphone generation’s Rod Serling (copyright: Guardian reader Meestercat) …

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Future imperfect: Bryce Dallas Howard in Black Mirror series three, episode one Nosedive. Photograph: David Dettmann/Netflix

Bearing in mind the past, the present and the possible future – would it be better if I had never been born?

Sara Pascoe

What’s depressing is that I wonder that myself. Now that I’ve got kids, I can get quite fatalistic about thing like nuclear weapons. They’re all primed, ready to go off at the drop of a hat and I think we’ve been incredibly lucky that hasn’t happened yet. And now we have the world getting more polarised and tense ... I remember, as a kid, when the reality of nuclear weapons dawned on me, I couldn’t work out why everyone wasn’t running around panicking rather than sitting in cafes having a coffee. Hopefully, some supervillain threat will come down and we will have to unite as a species and fire our nukes into the sun or something. So, yeah, I’m on the fence about whether or not it’s worth being born.

What’s the point?

The Great Edmundo

There is no point. That’s the point. Embrace the lack of a point. If there’s no point then there’s no point giving up. So there.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Donald Trump campaigns In Colorado. Photograph: George Frey/Getty Images

Donald Trump. Discuss.

Dave Gould

Where do you start? Even if he loses, you worry about what he has whipped up. His popularity doesn’t come from nowhere. There’s a large swath of people who are so fucking furious they feel that someone who represents a massive fuck-you to everything is a good idea. You have to address that because it ain’t going away.

As a writer, do you ever look at Trump and think: “I’d never get away with that!”?

Oh, yeah. We did an episode of Black Mirror [The Waldo Moment] about a cartoon character who ran as an MP, and I remember thinking about Boris Johnson, but I wasn’t sure we had quite got it right. Some of the criticisms of that episode, which I thought were valid, were that they didn’t think a character that crude and basic would ever catch on. Then you look at Trump and you go: “Well ...” But you would never accept Donald Trump as a work of original fiction ... it would be panned as way too implausible. I have no idea where political satire goes after this.

Did you watch the presidential debates?

Bits of them. I find it remarkable that anyone could support him based on his demeanour and the way he speaks. But then I thought that with George W Bush: “How can anyone watch him answering questions and not see what I’m seeing?” But is that just the way my brain is coloured that makes me see that? That’s what I keep trying to work out. Is it just an optical illusion that some people see this, and some people see that, like that thing where you either see a young woman or an old lady?

If you hate devices so frigging much, why don’t you throw them away or boil them?

Armando Iannucci

I don’t hate them! Armando, creator of Veep and all those wonderful things, is fucking WRONG. I’m pro-technology. I tried that PlayStation VR thing last night and it’s amazing. iPhones – the 10-year-old me would have shat himself with excitement that this would be a thing. But even if I wanted to throw them away I couldn’t, because I’m massively addicted to them. I used to smoke 60 cigarettes a day; I would even have a cigarette in the shower and lean out and throw it in the loo. So, with my phone, it’s the same thing, and that worries me.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest The trailer for series three of Black Mirror.

What did you have for breakfast? Also, what music are you listening to currently?

Gavin Birney

I haven’t had anything yet. I often don’t eat it. If I do, I have porridge or Weetabix or Shreddies or Coco Pops. As for music, I’ve always suffered from insomnia but I’ve discovered these things called SleepPhones, which are like headphones that come in a headband, so you can sleep on them without it hurting. I’ve listened to A Moon Shaped Pool by Radiohead every night pretty much since it came out and I’m out after 30 minutes. I also listen to music when I’m running but I’ll sound like a wanker if I try and describe that; it’s literally everything from minimal techno to KPM library music to some fucking rap act that I shouldn’t be listening to at my age.

Now, you’re writing your own scripts, after years of reviewing them. What took you by surprise about the process of writing?

Russell T Davies

How bloody hard it is. And how the process of writing never really ends because it carries on into the edit suite and beyond that ... you can change a lot in the edit. Now, I can spot moments in shows where they’ve made a change and are wallpapering over the cracks; you add lines and just see the back of someone’s head. That happens so often you wouldn’t believe it. Actually, Russell gave me one of the best tips when I interviewed him once. He said that most conversations were just two monologues clashing, because people hardly ever listen to each other. And he’s right: if you just have two people throwing their own monologues at one another it ends up sounding more realistic.

I’ve listened to A Moon Shaped Pool by Radiohead every night since it came out and I’m asleep after 30 minutes Charlie Brooker

If the choice between the Tories and Ukip can be likened to one between a vampire and a zombie, which is which?

Paul Mason

Is this a real question or just one somebody recorded him asking in a cafe and he’s going to be really angry about it? Er ... I would say within those narrow parameters the Tories are probably more like vampires because loads of them live in castles. Also, what’s the Labour party in this analogy? The toothless victims?

I remember reading you in PC Zone way back when and now you’re Rod Serling for the Smartphone Generation™. Do you ever sit back and think: “Bloody hell, look how far I’ve come”

MeesterCat

Yeah. I think it’s sheer luck. When I was writing video games reviews I was aware that I was in a bit of a ghetto, effectively. And I thought: “Well, how do I get out of this?” If I met someone at a barbecue and said I reviewed computer games for a living they would look at me like I’d said: [wobbles lips with fingers] “Blibablibablibablibblibliber.” You might as well have said: “I model balloon animals for a living and I’m really bad at it.” I was just lucky to do the TV Go Home [spoof TV listings] website at a time when the internet was coming out and I was nerdy enough to know how to do that. It was the sort of thing that could have been in a million different comedy books, but because it was on the internet it led me to doing stuff for the Guardian and getting a comedy-writing job. Nowadays, there are a million billion talented people all doing stuff on the internet where they’ve written, presented and edited these things, way beyond what I could have done, but now they’re in competition with a million billion other people. So I look back at my career and say: “Phew!”, like I got off the embassy roof on the last remaining helicopter.

Do you consider yourself to be one of the great dystopianists, like George Orwell or Aldous Huxley?

Aras Basmacigil

Ha, no! Imagine what sort of a level of prick I’d have to be to go: “Yes, I do consider myself the equal of those.” I actually really like the popcorn element of things like The Twilight Zone and Tales of the Unexpected. I don’t necessary think of myself as someone writing with a message in mind ... which I think you probably do have to be really committed to in order to be a proper dystopian writer.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Theresa May. Photograph: WPA Pool/Getty Images

As your ability to prophesise future news headlines proved so hauntingly accurate with our episode of Black Mirror, retrospectively predicting David Cameron’s alleged congress with a pig, is there anything you would like to postulate now about Theresa May’s past that we can all collectively will into truth over the next five years?

Rory Kinnear

And Rory speaks as someone who had to fuck a pig. He’s quite method you see, so he did actually do it. No, no, he didn’t ... I was there that day on set with my wife and we were all hiding in a cupboard around the corner. It was quite funny because Otto the director didn’t shout “cut” when we were shooting that scene. He just left Rory going closer and closer to this pig until he said: “I’m not going any further ...”

How far did he go?

Oh, he didn’t even get near first base. He got his hand on the pig’s back and that was as close as he was going to get. As for Theresa May, I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to wish anything nasty on anyone. I’m a softy, really, in that respect. But I’d like to see her have a complete change of heart. So, perhaps she could find a magic whistle that gives her a complete change of heart. That doesn’t sound like the most convincing story I’ve ever thought up, does it?

You’re not selling the new series very well with that idea ...

Hopefully, most of this series is at least 5% better than that. That’s a really rubbish answer. But that episode was supposed to be about having empathy for anyone. I was thinking of Gordon Brown when he had to apologise to that woman he had offended, and mixing that with I’m a Celebrity. I remember watching an episode of I’m a Celebrity where they did a live challenge and it was so deeply unpleasant that I felt real, genuine pity for Robert Kilroy-Silk. And I thought: this is a weird feeling.

Is Kanye West a tortured genius or a twat?

Romesh Ranganathan

Well, it’s possible for him to be both. A tortured twat. I think with Kanye, it’s difficult to know where performance ends and twatdom begins. He’s probably managing to pull off both at once quite well.

You’re a big Adam Curtis fan, and so am I, thanks to you. In more than one of his documentaries he seems to expose a paradox wherein neither individualism nor authoritarianism are successful in organising societies. Do you believe that the internet and its provision to provide infinite amounts of individual avatars/blogs/news feeds is somehow related to this rise in demagoguery (Trump/Putin)? Also, how’s your cock?

Craig Connick

Right. Er, I do think that because we are encouraged to perform our opinions online, and because our news feeds are curated by algorithms telling us what we want to hear, then that contributes to the polarisation of opinions on both sides of the political spectrum. But I don’t know if ... I think this question is so complicated that I can’t really answer it. Can I just say the answer is “Seven”?

Is that to the “How’s your cock” bit?

No, I’m not answering that bit.

What’s your favourite Pixar film?

Holly

Wall-E ... it’s heartbreaking. All Pixar movies are heartbreaking, aren’t they? I hadn’t seen Inside Out until the other day ... Jesus Christ! It’s like a tearduct detox, isn’t it? There’s always a point in those movies that’s just harrowing and you’re crying and trying to not let your kids see because it would disturb them.

Do you enjoy baking, and have you ever made bagels?

Barney Cronkbottom

No, I haven’t. I’ve tried baking my own bread and I’ve baked a cake and cookies. And a potato. I’ve baked many potatoes. They never do that on the Bake Off do they?

What’s the best thing you can cook?

I can do a proper Sunday roast pretty well and that involves quite a lot of different things. I can do a lasagne. I can do a casserole. I can do spaghetti bolognese. I’m like a 70s restaurant, basically.

How?

Mike

[Adopts pseudo deep voice] Whhhyyyy? Actually, that makes me sound like an even bigger cunt. I don’t know how. Tell Mike to come back when he’s thought of a proper question. In fact, tell him not to come back. He had one chance and he’s fucking blown it.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Sarah Snook in Men Against Fire, episode five of series three. Photograph: Laurie Sparham/Netflix

Why did you sell out to Sky and then Netflix? Channel 4 not good enough for you any more?

ThisNameisMine

The Netflix thing is a bit different, because Channel 4 told us to go out and get co-funding from Americans if we wanted the series to continue ... so, we did! I was really annoyed about the way that was reported.

If I’m not constantly throwing firewood into the worry engine then it will just worry on its own and chew up everything Charlie Brooker

There are quite a lot of questions about you selling out. Is that fair, do you think? Did you go through a sell-out period?

Yes ... there was a point where I was doing panel shows. Not that I don’t do them now, but there was a point where I did more onscreen things than I do now. It was all fun experience ... but I don’t feel the need to do it again. I don’t think I’m a natural fit for a feelgood host of something. But it’s not like I suddenly did a musical or something like that, is it?

I think a lot of your fans saw you as someone who hated everything and then suddenly you ...

... lost some weight and got a beard? Yeah. Weirdly, people said I’d sold out when I had kids, because I used to write columns saying I hated children. But inevitably as you get older you mellow out and lose energy. I remember I once wrote a column where I made a joke about a child’s funeral, not a real child, but still ... and the editor said: “Don’t put that in, it’s just horrible,” and I was all macho like: [stroppy voice] “The Guardian want to censor me.” Thank God it didn’t go in because I think I would cry if I read that now. So I must have gotten soppier.

Does being more content make it harder to write dark material?

Not really, because I’m always worried. If I’m not constantly throwing firewood into the worry engine then it will just worry on its own and chew up everything ... so I’m always working basically, otherwise I crack up. It’s not like I ever sit back and enjoy things, there’s always something to worry about.

What’s the best comment you’ve read about yourself from Guardian readers?

Hmmm, I can’t say any have really stayed with me ... Oh, I know! Once I wrote a thing in 2004 about George Bush [he wrote: “John Wilkes-Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr, where are you now that we need you?”] that the Guardian had to apologise for. It was a joke that got taken the wrong way. And someone wrote to say that they were going to smuggle a sniper rifle through customs and kill me, so I had better walk close to buildings, stay under trees and move in a zig-zag. That one stayed with me. Does that count as reader feedback?

When you worked with Chris Morris on Nathan Barley, how did you find navigating that kind of relationship with him? Did you feel intimidated by him, or did you just work as creative equals only concerned with doing a good job?

Dylan Curran

I was definitely intimidated before I met him. I expected him to show up and be his Brass Eye persona. But instead he bounded in, long curly hair, quite goofy and animated ... laughing and jolly. It was so disarmingly not what I expected that in reality he wasn’t intimidating. Having said that, I remember the first day we were shooting Nathan Barley – he was so laser-focused and serious I thought: “What the fuck’s happened? Has something bad happened?” He was like a dog that had seen some meat: frozen and super-concentrating. And sometimes, if he’s intellectually interested in something, he’s straight on it and will bombard you with questions about it in a way that you feel any answer you give will be stupid. So I still can feel intimidated by him.

I run a charity that represents civilian victims of secret drone strikes, a topic that apparently helped inspire an episode in the new series of Black Mirror. Do you still “know in your bones that robots are going to kill us”?

Clive Stafford Smith, founder and director of Reprieve

Oh, yeah, I did write that. I think we will probably kill us. Maybe our best way out of it is to invent robots who can kill us in a really gentle way. If we ended up like Keanu Reeves at the start of The Matrix, where he’s plugged into the dreambox or whatever, that wouldn’t be so bad. The tragedy of that film is when he pulls the plug out. It’s all downhill from there.

Is it true you were inspired by drone-strike victims?

Loosely ... there’s an episode in this season called Men Against Fire, which is to do with this book called On Killing [By Dave Grossman], about the psychological effect of distance on killing. It was pre-drones, but it talks about how the people who dropped firebombs on Dresden, even though they knew intellectually they were boiling women and children to death, didn’t suffer the level of psychological trauma as someone who, say, had to stick a knife in someone’s ribs. There’s also another project I was working on that I might return to – it was like a long-form Black Mirror and that had drone animals walking around.

How posh are you?

HoG

By background not very. People always assume I went to public school, which I didn’t, so that immediately puts me somewhere. Then again I grew up in a leafy village in Oxfordshire and that’s quite posh in itself. Also I’m drinking a green tea right now in a fancy restaurant ... so I don’t really know. I’m definitely a lot posher than I used to be, but I don’t like posh things, particularly. I don’t eat in posh restaurants or drink posh wine because I don’t really get it. But I make TV shows so I must be quite posh.

What’s the poshest thing you’ve ever bought?

An upgrade on a flight. I got upgraded on a flight once and from that point on every time I’ve flown economy I’m just fucking angry the whole time. You end up balancing the urge to say “HOW FUCKING MUCH?” with the desire to just get some sleep. You realise what a horrible system it is, but then if you can pay for it, you will.

2016 started rosy. It was all a giant metaphor for the year: people staring at other people trying to jump over a puddle

Have you ever had a sense of purpose, and by that I mean in terms of making an impact in the way we interact with other people, or in regards of technology; or did you just want to make an observation about the world?

Joyce

I don’t think anything I write would really change anyone’s behaviour. Maybe if I wrote: “Keep off! Wet paint” and stuck it on that chair, that would. Or: “Warning! 200ft hole!”

Given that you’ve imagined an array of terrifying scenarios of the vaguely distant future through Black Mirror, what scares you about our world at present?

Susie Bubble, fashion blogger

Nuclear weapons. The general collapse of society. The rise of racist populism through Europe. Disease. Violence. Wasps and spiders. In that order.

This was asked by about half the people writing in … when can we expect more Screenwipes and Newswipes?

There’s an end-of-year show, which I’m about to go off and have a meeting about. And then there’s another lot that I’m not really supposed to mention … but I will try and squeeze that in at some point next year and then have a break. That’s assuming that the world isn’t just on fucking fire by then.

How are you going to fit 2016 in?

Nina

I don’t know. We had a meeting about this yesterday and it didn’t get that far. We looked at the puddle – remember that? It all seemed quite rosy at the start of the year, didn’t it? Turns out that was just a giant metaphor for the year: people staring at other people trying to jump over a puddle. This year does seem disastrous, but then I’ve thought that every year for the past five years. In a contrary sort of way, when everyone else is worrying about the state of the world, I relax a bit because I feel like at least everyone is on my paranoid level now.

Series three of Black Mirror is on Netflix from 21 October

