Hey! I’m Johan

Over the past five years I’ve struggled getting time for bjj. Getting time for family and work. Or rather, improving my quality time with family, work and bjj. There is a huge difference between, practice bjj 4+ times a week, feeling tired by neglecting sleep and spending less time with family. Training 3 times per week. Getting some weight lifting in. While getting quality time with my family. Waking up feeling good.



During this time I’ve talked with my friends at the gym how they do it. I’ve talked with my instructors after class to get help with technique and how to train bjj smarter. I’ve interviewed black belts asking how they train and how to be more efficient on and off the mat.



The last two years I’ve built a system and mindset how to train bjj three or more times per week. Lifting weights three times per week. How to have a great morning. Feeling strong and healthy. With more fun in my life. While getting six open mat sessions one week during vacation. And attending a training camp for 20+ hours a week later.



I’ll share interviews how my friend Claudio with wife and two kids, trained more than me at the same camp. How Gustav changed his life, to make room for more family and bjj time. How Marcus uses personal coaching and aupair to get more time for bjj. How Ariel the black belt instructor gives advice how to involve the whole family with bjj. How getting more time for bjj is just a decision away.



Visiting open mat with family on vacation



In this guide you will find helpful strategies to get more time for bjj. What I’ve done with my own training, and expert advice from black belt instructor.

This is a 50-page guide. Get it as a download pdf book by joining my email list

The Benefits of Getting More Time For BJJ

“Mat time is some of the best invested time ever”



You feel stronger. You are more relaxed. You are more pleasant to be around. You might smile more as you think back, about your last sweep that you did exceptionally well on a very good guard player. You feel more confident at work. You feel that you have your family life planned out. You get less time for Reddit and mindlessly surfing the web. You get more energy out if it, even though you thought you were too tired to go train. Your brain works better with more exercise. You are able to regulate your stress hormones naturally by rolling hard. You let your mind rest as your muscles works.



You use your time more effectively as you spend more time on important things such as, your family after you get home. You are more focused on work. And you spend less time surfing the web, and watching Netflix. You will appreciate the once or twice a week Netflix and chill with the wife, as the kids are in bed because you’ve trained hard this week and can relax.



In my own experience, every time I’ve made more time for bjj, it’s always felt better.

I’ve felt more in control of my life. Mostly because getting more time for bjj requires thoughtful planning of my days. Or rather it eliminates stupid stuff like Reddit and youtube. Which helps me perform better at home and work.



Even though I’ve cut sleep at times to practice bjj. It’s felt good. As long as it was for short period of times. Until I burned out from to much bjj, work and not enough rest.



Now I’ve made a couple of rules for myself when I can train, and how I will do it. That’s what I want you to get out of this guide. Setting up simple rules for yourself, will make it easier for you to succeed in bjj and life.

The 3 surprising rules of finding more time for bjj



You have an abundance of time

What if you for the next couple of hours, days or how ever long it will take you to read this guide, start looking for extra time you could use for more bjj. Try to put all of your excuses on hold for awhile.



Try saying to yourself, “Over the next couple of days, I will try to find more time for bjj. Even though I have a lot of things going on, there is time for more bjj.”



Ready for the day with gym clothes, smoothies and protein shakes at 5:12 am.



Extra time could be as simple as going through a technique you’ve been working on in class at a red light. Go over a technique you’ve recently learned, or a live sparring situation you want to work more on for 30 seconds. It could be when you are taking a bathroom break, instead of playing a game or scrolling reddit — read a book.



Or watch a crazy judo throw on Instagram. How could you use it next sparring? It could be after dinner when your family is relaxing or after they are in bed. Instead of watching a movie, you take out your IPad to watch an black belt match or study a technique for 15 minutes before bed.



We all have abundance of time. It’s just how we use it. Start looking for time, that could be spend on more purposeful things. I think we could both agree that scrolling Reddit has a low return of value improving our game or quality of life. While reading a book or this guide could have massive value to improving your game and getting more time for bjj.



Lately I’ve been asking myself while in bed with a notepad, “if you would get to relive today, what would you do differently? Why?” And then working through that answer for a minute.



Example, “I would have spent more time mapping out my game plan and study what I could improve, than scrolling Reddit. Why? Because it would be a lot more valuable and fun long-term, to study techniques and scroll Reddit for the memes.



Why? Because scrolling reddit is just killing time. Why do I kill time? Because working on my game plan is hard work, and my brain loves being lazy. How could I motivate myself to improve my game?



I could buy a new notepad to keep as a training journal and keep it in my bag to write in after class. I could block YouTube, or put a time limit on it, to make it harder for me to browse mindlessly. I could set a reminder when I do most of my scrolling to ask, “would this action make my life better in a year?””

2) You have to value your own time

Right now you are probably valuing other times more, than your own time. Which is great. You take care of your loving family, being a great father. While you give your best at work. You have a lot of commitments to honor.



However, you probably don’t get quite as much time on the mats as you’d like. Up to this point you’ve mostly focused on other people’s happiness. The happiness of your wife. The happiness of your kids. The happiness of your boss and customers. Which leave you to grab the last pieces of time, if there are any left.



There is great value for yourself by putting yourself first. What do I mean by that? That putting time on the calendar for you to get bjj practice and other exercise in, will make you happier, more productive at work, and more relaxed in the evening with your family.



One or two more sessions per week, would dramatically improve your productivity at work and well being with your family. We will go over specific techniques and time management action steps later on in this guide. Just know that putting yourself first, will improve your family and work relationships.

3) if you are feeling stuck, you are on the right track

Getting more time for bjj won’t be easy. You are accustomed to a certain schedule. You might have to negotiate with your family. Maybe even with your boss at work. But taking these steps to getting more time for bjj, will help your overall life and happiness. Feeling stuck is good. That means you have opportunities for growth.



As we identify what parts you feel stuck in, and learn how to overcome it. It will get better. You are investing your time just by reading this. And taking action will get easier with the right tools.

ACTION STEP

Thought experiment: How would your focus be different, with your family, and your job — if you added one or two training sessions per week?

How would you feel on a daily basis. Knowing you are growing instead of just keeping up in class (or falling behind)? Would you have more energy for your family and work? Would it be more fun at work and while washing up the dishes, remembering the last days of training?



That’s what I want you to get out of this ultimate guide. That you could live more fully with your family, while you get more time for bjj. Because if you are happy, it reflects on your family and how you do on your job.

Let’s look at how Getting More Time For bjj help your family.

Speaking from own experience and seeing and talking with other guys. A lot of people are unhappy in life. Why? Because they haven’t decided what is important to them. Instead, other people have put their happiness first, leaving them with obligations instead of meaningful work.



The happiest people are the ones who decided what they want out of life. They work a certain job because they know it will be a stepping stone for the next part in their life. How do you think being forced upon a job, let’s say, flipping burgers affect a man? Or a man willingly takes a job flipping burgers, while he studies and learn new skills to get a higher paying and more meaningful work?



Just by making a decision of what you want out of life, will make it much easier to get there. It won’t be simple. But easier. You are investing the time to read this guide and eager to see how it could help you. You’ve already bought other books and gotten value out of them. Now you are ready to take the next step.



Decide that bjj is important to you.

The biggest obstacle to your training, is not your job, wife or kids. It’s yourself. If you are not training as much as you’d like to, somewhere in the past you have put other things first. Which is fine. That is what you decided with good judgment. You probably got a lot of fun out of that. But if you are reading this, you probably want to find more time for bjj now. Which I’ll help you with.



Recently I went to the amusement park with my girlfriend. As I’m writing this guide I want it out as soon as possible for you to read, that sets me on a pretty tight schedule, writing thousands of words per day and a lot of other things. I could have put my family’s time first, and went early to the amusement park.



But then I wouldn’t have the focus and energy to write later in the evening. And I would be in a sour mood because my important work for you would get delayed, and I would never have this day back again. So I said to her, “Babe, I need to sit alone for a couple of hours in the morning writing this guide, before we go to the amusement park.”



We walked together to the old town and I ordered a coffee and chocolate nut cookie while she used the lady’s room. As she got back I gave her the cookie telling her to enjoy herself and we’ll meet up in a few hours. She was happy to go look through second-hand stores and walk the streets of a new city.



Why did I do this? Because I have a big dream to help you and a lot of other people improve their bjj which requires time to achieve it. A couple of hours later I called her and we meet up for a great time at the amusement park. We had a great time because I had done my most important work first. Then I was ready to enjoy myself fully. Without getting distracted by “shoulds” and work.

“I Don’t Have Enough Time To Practice BJJ More Than Twice a Week”

We all get caught up in all kinds of things. People at work need help with their work. Our families are hungry when we get home. And they want to play. Watch movies. Then you want to play and watch movies. And train bjj. And go do something fun on the weekend. and your friends have a kids birthday party that you want to go to (just kidding). Maybe there is an upcoming event you want to visit. Now a couple of months have gone by with very little time for just you.



Of course it’s a challenge to get more time for bjj, if you haven’t made it your focus and said, “bjj is important for me.” That’s the key. I made that mistake in my last long term relationship. This was before I started with bjj. I worked out in the gym almost daily after work. Then I meet this girl who was nice and I continued to work out after work.



After we had lived together half a year or something, I started to get soft. As I wanted to train with her, I picked her up at work and we drove to the gym, and she said more and more, “I don’t feel like it today, maybe tomorrow”. We all know how that went.



Eventually that relationship crashed because we became friends living together. That was because I changed my boundaries and gave up me time, for her time. Now years later, I’ve made it priority and said to my girlfriend, “bjj is important to me, and you will have to live with it.” She is okay and happy that I Have some things that are important to me.

How could you get more time for bjj?

By making a decision that bjj is important to you. We live in a society where we are expected to do a lot of things, for anyone that asks for our attention. Donate to charity, join the kids activities after class, help your friends fix their house. All of these things are great by the way. But they don’t necessarily help you, achieve what you want.

Most of us are mindful of where we spend our money. But have you thought about how much your attention is? Being around people you feel good about lifts you up. While being around people who are boring or



By getting clear of what you want to get out of your life, you can start to chip away at all the obligations and favors you are currently doing, to focus on what matters to yourself, your family, and your community. Here is a simple exercise you could do, to help you gain clarity of what you really enjoy in life and what you want to focus on.

EXERCISE, The 5/25 rule

Write down everything you love doing. Examples, Taking care of your family. Practice BJJ. Building things. Travel. Meeting friends. Working. Having a side project or two.



Everything that you love. Try to write things you absolutely love doing. Or just like doing. As you go through your list of things you love, just get them all out there. Doesn’t matter if you actually don’t do it right now. Or that it was ten years since you played football. Just get them out.



Then after you got + things you love doing. Circle the 5 you could see yourself doing for the next couple of years. Do you love bjj so much? Your family? Your side projects? Choose 5 of them.



Then only focus on these five.



Forget about the other 20+ things you love to do. Only focus on these 5. Doing this help you focus in life, and get really good at them. Sure maybe you could do some of the not top 5 on vacation. But making these five a priority in your life, will help you find more time for what you love and value the most.



The fewer choices you have to make in life, the easier life gets. If I was concerned with when should I wake up today? 08:30? 08:31? 08:29? And then taking time to deliberately plan what kind of socks I should have, black, blue, pink, zebra print? And the type of shirt…



Suddenly my days get really hectic and I waste precious energy on what kind of socks I should wear! When I have more important things to get right such as taking care of my family, earning an income, getting to bjj class.



Are you done with the exercise? If not, go ahead and get it done right now.



My 5/25 list



Now I have decided that family is important, earning an income is important, bjj is important, being strong enough to do bjj for years is important, writing this guide for you is important.



Then I know, I can’t mess around with my free time on YouTube, going shopping, spending a lot of time with friends outside of bjj class. Sure I could mess around. But deep down, I know it will not be useful for me or my family.



Instead I focus on showing up. Planning my day for my family to have a great tomorrow. Showing up at work doing my best. Getting some time for myself to work on a meaningful project. Going to the gym or dojo to keep in shape and improve my bjj.



Right now I’m at a summer camp and have the opportunity to take a break in between classes. Instead of going home eating lunch, I walked over to a nearby cafe to write a while with a cup of green tea.



Had I gone home, it would probably meant I would slack off and take it easy and fallen in the soft couch and stayed there scrolling reddit or YouTube. But now I changed my environment, which is new for me. and I have no habit of scroll reddit or YouTube in. This made it easier for me to stay alert and focused.



Something one of our instructors talked about. If you have it difficult. Change the environment. Stuck under knee on belly, change the environment. Caught in half guard, change the environment.



Just like in. personal life. To little time? Change the environment. Cut something out, or hire someone to help you. Can’t afford to hire someone? Focus on improving your income or downsize.



I haven’t said anything about this is easy. But just saying what’s possible to improve upon.



Since I have began to follow this more and more over time, it’s been easier and easier to get the time I want out of family, work and bjj. Know that It gets easier over time. As I started doing this, it was really hard to cut out YouTube, Netflix, video games, among other things. Because I got stuck in the old patterns.



But over time I realized I had to change how I do things. If I always watch YouTube or Netflix after dinner, block it on my laptop. Restrict some sites on my router. Make it harder for me to do what I mindlessly want to do. And make it easier for me to make good choices.



Now I’m repeatedly bored because I’ve blocked YouTube on my laptop. I don’t have any video games at home. I don’t even have a TV. That is good. Then I can focus on spending time with my family, writing this or reading books.



I even bought a IPad just for watching more instructionals and bjj matches. To break the old patterns. And have a separate object specifically for bjj.



Do I always get everything and follow this routine? No. But it’s much easier now, than when I had a tv, Xbox, chips around in the house. Because at least my brain loves to follow the path of least resistance. Limiting my access to useless stuff, makes it easier to do what’s necessary.



For example, Right now I’m editing this guide while commuting on the bus. Instead of playing angry birds or command and conquer on my phone. Or browsing reddit/YouTube. Just like trying to sweep over and over again not changing anything. If you don’t correct your technique, timing, or strength, you will never get the sweep.



What’s your things you love to do, and the top 5 that you could see yourself doing for a decade? Write them out. Put them on a wall that you walk by every day. Look at it often. Strike over the things you’ve cut away, and focus on creating time for the top 5 things you love to do on a daily basis and try to improve 1% every day.

How to free up 20+ hours per month for bjj

BJJ practice in purple and gym in red.



Let’s say you have an hour commute back and forth. And then a 15-minute toilet break at work (not including lunch), and 45+ minutes after dinner. Adds up to three hours of “free time” per workday. Where would you be in your jiujitsu if you invested an extra two to three hours per day studying techniques and created a gameplan?



Three hours per day. Times five days, times four weeks, and we have 60 hours per month. Maybe you have a shorter commute, that’s still 40 hours per month.



Where would you be in your bjj, if you used 40 hours per month reading books, studying techniques, practice bjj in the gym, and lifting weights? Obviously this is a lot of time and a huge change. But it also shows what is possible.



Maybe you are happy with just one more class. Which is great! Maybe you wish you had a better understanding of the techniques you are going through in class. Maybe you want to perform better in an upcoming competition.



Let’s talk about the biggest barrier of them all, to a happier life. The smartphone. Why is this is phone so smart? Because with this device we got access to all the world’s knowledge — and a thousand upon thousands of new cat videos. Which somehow, is the best use of our time according to our brain.



How often do you scroll facebook/reddit/YouTube/email? Just to “kill” time? How many hours would you say you use unproductive? The average person spends two hours on social media per day. What would you do with an extra two hours per day?

You could take a nap

You could study bjj techniques

You could get an extra bjj class

You could spend more quality time with your family

You could study/apply for a new job to work less/earn more

You could clear a space in your home, buy mats, and involve your whole family with bjj.

I understand that every minute doesn’t have to be productive time. We all need rest. But we could also define what we find as a restful. You could just as well get addicted to scrolling social media, playing video games. As you could become addicted to learning more about bjj and strategizing in your mind.



For example, you find bjj restful after class is over. What if you could get excited to watch a high level match between two world-class black belts? And look forward to find the subtle details, that turned the match in favor over the other. Then play that match back in your mind as you are in bed? It’s been proven that learning or trying to solve a problem before bed, prepare your brain to solve it or retain that knowledge during the night. Even though you might be tired, it actually helps to sleep on it. And your brain will be busy improving your bjj while you sleep.

How to train bjj in your sleep

Every night Michael Phelps coach told him to “play the tape.” Which is how Michael would see himself swimming the perfect lap. Feeling every stroke with his arms. Feeling his entire body move inch through inch along the pool and back again. Feel the warm or cool water. Even see himself messing up or what would he do if his goggles came off? How would he handle that situation?



Where do you think you would be in your jiujitsu, if you spent 5 minutes in bed just seeing your last training, or how a friendly roll with someone equal to you could look like, and getting the upper hand on him?

How to make practice so easy you could do it every day

What are some ways you could make practice so easy you could do it every day?

First let’s go through how it could get harder. What are some ways, that would get practice bjj harder?

You could work overtime. You could get another kid or two. You could go down in time and then not afford classes. You could play Candy Crush or Command & Conquer every moment of free time you have. You could watch YouTube and get instant push notifications from your email and messenger interrupting you. There are a lot of things that makes bjj practice harder.



What are some ways practice would be so easy you could do it every day? There are a lot of different things you could do to make practice easier such as,



You could subscribe to 3-5 YouTube & Instagram channels for easy exposure to bjj techniques and matches You could unsubscribe things that are unrelated to your dream life. You could uninstall all the games you have on your phone. You could turn off push notifications and email. You could invest in a new IPad just for bjj courses. You could get up earlier and get in bjj practice while the family sleeps. You could get private coaching at home or on off-hours. You could look for a new job or start a business to set your own hours or study to improve your life situation a year or two down the line. You could get a couple of puzzle mats. Clear a space for 6-9 puzzle mats to have in your living room/garage/yard, and decide on one drill you could do on a daily basis. Investment, $300-450 You could work on your flexibility. Put out your yoga mat between your bed and your alarm clock. Decide on one yoga stretch you could do in the morning. A real example, I did this myself for 6 months — and set to myself to do ten sun salutations every morning. It was a challenge. Some days I did two. Other days I did ten. Some days more. I always felt better after. You could get private coaching. If you have more money than time, hire your coach or upper belt. Get it. Go a couple of times per months. It’s something you could do right after work, to get an extra training session per week. Or two. You can learn a lot from getting personal feedback. If anything, try to get someone close to you and go together. This way you can roll against each other, and your coach can give detailed feedback on what you do well, and what you could improve. It’s a different roll if you go against our instructor because of the vast skill difference. But with someone close to you, there is a much narrower skills gap. So it can get easier to see differences and what you can improve. You could hire a nanny or au pair to free up time. How? Ask for friend’s recommendations in the gym or on the street you live in. Use au pair/nanny sites. Schedule interviews. Have them live with them if the commute got in the way. Marcus who I’ve interviewed helped them, get in language classes and other things around living in a new country. They stay in touch with girls years ago. They should have only been there one year but most stayed for three. He shared that only one in fifteen years that did not work out. They have been invited to weddings and most of the au pairs have learned the language, gotten boyfriends and gotten their education with their help. Investment, $5-600/month.

INTERVIEW: How Gustavo changed his life for more family and bjj

Have you had a tough time training in the past with your family? How did you overcome it?

Oh yes. That’s my story. I had a full-time job abroad, often had to work very late and had to have two households between which I had to commute a lot.



I quit and moved back home. Now I have a part time job. I earn half of what I’ve earned before but I am with my family and have a ton of time for Jits. I only work 6h a day, I don’t have to commute and my Gym is right around the corner.



Plus, I do a lot of work in the household. Laundry, of course, but way more. When there is no training, I take care of everything. When my wife wants to meet Friends I am all like “sure, go, I stay with the Kids” and when it’s time for Training my wife has no choice but saying: “you’re the best! Now go have fun. You deserve it”



TLDR; reduce working time + live close to the Gym + do everything for your wife and family without them even asking for it = get to train 4x week

How To Be More Efficient With Your Evenings

“We all know people who say they have no time but sit there for 4 hours watching tv”



In the past, I’ve wasted a lot of time. Spending hours watching shows and playing computer games. Over the years I’ve focused on narrowing it down to be less and less. What is wasted time anyway? that depends on how you define it. For myself I would say scrolling reddit, watching youtube and playing an excessive amount of video games. Instead of spending quality time with my girlfriend, studying bjj, reading a book or working on a project.



While it is nice to stay up late watch a movie or scrolling reddit. It’s even nicer if you do something worthwhile with this time. That would move your life forward. Would you really consider watching Forrest Gump as important as getting quality time with your wife? Or read a book that could improve your bjj game (or career)? Or study techniques? Or the best, How would it be like, if you went to bed early and wake up feeling rested tomorrow?



Crazy fact: One of the biggest health issue the western world is facing right now, is sleep deprivation. Humans are the only animal that actively neglects sleep for other things such as work. There are no other animals that does this.



I know when I’ve had my long night of no sleep and have to get up early. How awful I feel the next day. I know when I’ve gotten to bed at 9-10pm and fallen asleep right away, it’s been like a huge burden lifted from my shoulders the morning after. Suddenly I feel a lot happier on the job, more focused at bjj class and with my family.



Here’s a couple of things you could do after dinner to improve your bjj:

Study one technique video on youtube and write how you could use it in next class

Read a book on bjj while the rest of the family is on the couch/getting ready for bed

Watch a high-level black belt match. Notice the subtle details that turned the match over the favor of the opponent and made the victory. Was there multiple?

Grapple with your kids/wife/girlfriend

Get early to bed and train in the morning before work – either bjj or the gym

Get early to bed and enjoy waking up feeling rested. Train another day when you have more time and energy.

How to find 20+ hours THIS week for more bjj

Ideas where to find more time for bjj,

Use your spare time, get up early to get a gym or bjj session in. Go out for a run. Use the time when the family is asleep. They can’t complain about that. If you feel tired, know that it will pass once you get in motion and do this on a regular basis. If you are still feeling tired after doing this for a while, maybe change something else or quit doing this.



Invest in an additional gym membership if it gets you to the gym easier. Lifting weights is a good compliment to bjj as it strengthens your body, with the added bonus to look good naked and you can train bjj longer, both rounds and in number of years.



I don’t suggest you cut sleep. In fact when do you usually night your kids? Go to bed with them. Which will make it easier for you to get up early. If you have some work to do or want to watch a show, try to limit yourself to xx minutes of focused time, using the Pomodoro technique. Then make it your biggest goal, to achieve everything business-related you need to during that time.



Examples:

morning class or gym, twice a week, +3 hours of bjj

Weekend Saturday & Sunday, visit open mat +4 hours while the family is eating breakfast

Commute, 2 hours per day * 5 days a week = +10 hours listening to books

Bathroom break, 15 minutes per day * 5 days +1 hour reading bjj history

Evenings minutes per day * 5 days = 2 hours of technique videos

3 + 4 + 10 + 1 + 2 = 20 hours in one week.

These are just some examples. Using all of the above is a bit much. But a couple of them could transform your bjj. Here are exact examples you could use these in your own life:

After dinner, night the kids and pack your bag for training next day. Watch one or two bjj matches then Get to bed early enough for you to get 7.5h+ sleep and train morning class before work.

Use the weekends and attend open mat. If you have a long commute to the gym, bring your family, find some fun activity they could do as you roll and join them after class.

Buy a couple of bjj audiobooks to listen to while you drive to and from work

Use the bathroom break to read a bjj book, watch a instagram technique or just meditate to refocus and gain energy.

Use the weekends to deep dive into a online course — to study one part of your game you want to improve — see it as a weekend boot camp.

ACTION STEP

I’ve shared a lot of different ideas and options you could use. Now it’s time to put them into action.

Brainstorm ten different ways you could get more time for bjj. It could be something I’ve mentioned or something else you would like to try. Just write them down for now. Remember it doesn’t have to be good ideas at this point. What obstacles do you think would come up? How could you plan ahead and overcome it? What’s ONE technique you could try next week? Just as an experiment. Just go easy like a test for yourself. Great! Now fast forward to the end of the week. How did it go? If it didn’t work, could you change something? Or try another experiment from your list?

Example, “I could try to watch one bjj match after dinner this week. By the end of week, I’ll know if it was a good or bad experiment. If it doesn’t work out, ill try the next idea on my list.”

How to schedule your time

What’s common in all my interviews with fathers who train 4+ times a week, is all of them keep a family schedule. And the common thing they all have when they train less than 4 times per week, is that they let the schedule fall off.



Getting into a routine of just doing stuff when it needs to be taken care off. Which is good for a time, but over months and years it will get you stuck in a routine you might not be happy with.



Questions to help you schedule your time:

How would your ideal day look like? Dream for a minute and don’t censor yourself.

What would you like to have achieved in a day?

What are your most important things to do every day?

What’s the one thing, if done, that would make everything easier?

What is something you feel is unnecessary? Could you stop doing that? If not now, how could you stop doing that later?

How would you have to plan it with your wife and kids?

What would you have to stop doing to have an ideal day?

For example, if I would not pack my gym bag and lunch the night before, I would have trouble getting it done in the morning from being tired, short on time, and having to think early in the morning. When I would rather just go back to bed.



By doing it the night before I might still be tired. But its much easier to pack my back the night before, than doing it under time pressure and being sleepy.



The post-it schedule

A typical day for me



Notice that spending time with my girlfriend, cooking dinner, go through email, take a walk and brush my teeth are not on there. That is because all of the above are habits I do on a regular basis already.



The things on this list, are big goals I have that I want to achieve this or next year. And then I broken them down to small actions I could do tomorrow to improve 1%.



If I make sure to practice bjj for an hour plus tomorrow, I’m certain that my bjj will get better. By setting a time to get in bed, I will feel more rested the next day. Get in bed before 9pm is out of my comfort zone because it’s a little too early. So I might have to push it back a bit.



Notice how I’ve created a flow for my day: get up take a shower. Work on blog before work. Provide great service at my job. Practice bjj. Make dinner with girlfriend. Be in bed before 9pm. It’s a chain of commands with, “After ______ I will do ________.” The more flow i can get in the day, the easier it will be.



By creating this schedule the night before, it increases the chance of getting most of these things done. If I had went in with the mindset “I HAVE to win every bjj round tonight”, it would be a HAVE TO and a super hard to get it done. By setting the bar low, “practice bjj” and giving it a “just show up” feeling, makes it easier to get done.



By the end of the day maybe I got them all. Or maybe just a couple. Or sometimes it’s been tough to just get one done. For example, maybe the only thing i got done today was get to bjj practice, then got injured five minutes in. It could seem insignificant and a wasted day. But I went to practice. Which reinforced that I follow at least part of my schedule. And by the end of the day, I’ll reflect on what went well and why did i not get everything done as planned.



How would your day improve if you wrote this before bed?

For me, this list has been the difference between going and staying home on some days. Because would a person who has written down a plan of action, to improve their bjj by 1% every week, skip practice? Would someone dedicate to learn more and reach the next belt skip practice? No. Such a person has set a plan of action and tries to achieve it as close as possible.



Note, going for belt promotion is not the driving force, it’s showing up in class to learn. A measure of your progress is getting better in class and eventually a belt promotion.

INTERVIEW: How Marcus father of three, trains four times a week while running multiple businesses

Marcus 46 year with a wife and kids, daughters 20 & 16 and a boy 10.



How does a regular week look like for you?

“I aim to get two grappling classes (one which is personal trainer) and two strength building or yoga per week. My body needs rest in between classes. Since I’ve found a good balance of training like this, my body is stronger and not afraid to get injured.”



How have you changed your training in the last six months?

“The last six months I’ve been getting smarter about my training. Use less strength and competed twice. I care less about losing ground and tapping. And have gotten better at reading the game.



I’ve studied some of your stuff. And reflecting about bjj. Working on my goals to compete. I would rather go to the competition with a good feeling than train 10 times per week. The more I train the more I learn. Over the last months I’ve learned small details how to defend myself and working on my game.



Another big difference is that I’ve lost weight. Went from 80kg to 70kg. There is a big difference. Meeting people at 90kg as a 80kg guy, is okay. But at 70kg I cant muscle them. There is a big difference. I have to think in a different way against them.”



How do you feel about that?

“I feel good about being at 70kg and I could even see myself going below to compete at -70kg because its close. There is a difference between competing at -76 and -70kg, (being at the bottom of the bigger bracket, or top of the lower bracket). I’m super happy about myself and my progress.”



How does your family train?

“Wife trains a lot in different sports. My boy trains bjj While I do my strength session and maybe flow roll with someone. He and I went away to compete this spring, and it was great. It was a fun thing for me and him.



My wife doesn’t like when I train more than her because she is competitive. So it’s good if there is a balance. As I’m my own boss I can train at my own hours and not take time from the family. As I can go a little earlier and train and still get back home when everyone gets home at half six. When everyone is home. I can go at some lunch sessions.”



How can both of you train regularly?

“We have been spoiled with a nanny for the last 15 years. We work a lot both of us. We haven’t really had to take any early mornings. We can both leave evenings if we want to. We can leave them at home. It wouldn’t have worked if we not had the nanny as we both work a lot.



The more I train the better I get and the more I want to train. I’m a stressful person, stress a lot at work and have done throughout my life. Training has helped me and given me strength to work. I have a difficult time to get home and then get out to train. I prefer to go a bit earlier from work and train right after.”



What do you think hinders most people?

“It’s hard having small children. Pick Up from daycare, cooking dinner, having the energy to train after. I like to set a schedule with my family, to coordinate our days. “I pick up, you cook dinner today. Tomorrow you train, and I take care of xx. Next day I will.” I like regular hours. I’ve played football in the past then my team depended on me showing up. If I went to the gym I’ve had a personal trainer because I’ve wanted to have someone hold me accountable.”



How do you keep yourself motivated?

“Setting goals. Set any goal to further your sport. Find free time. If you take your kid to soccer practice, bring running shoes. Instead of just sitting off time.”



Where do you find free time?

“The mornings. We have 06:00 training. That fits me good. If you have bigger kids, and they are sleeping, you could get up early for a brisk walk.

I know that it’s really hard. I have multiple people at work with small children. Who never can get free. Even though I’ve tried to get them with me.”



How do you get more time for bjj?

“I believe. It’s a personality trait. If you are driven, interested and go-getter, as a person yourself, even though you have so many things to do. It doesn’t matter how many things you have to do. You will find a way to solve it.

If you have nothing to do, then you won’t have time to train anyway. People are like that. Just fight for it.”

Practice timing techniques with Simon



“I have been trying to talk my wife into letting me go to a third-class every week”

A while back I meet a friend at work from the gym. And we had recently rolled and had a good time. He has been training on and off for a couple of years now. Because he has been busy with family and work. Anyway, we got talking and I asked him when the next class would be. “I’m not quite sure…” he said. And I countered with, “okay, could you make it this Saturday?” “Yeah, I think I can…” Not confident about it. Probably because he works a lot and don’t want to leave his wife alone Saturday morning.



She comes up right behind with their kid and we make introductions. After awhile I say, “we talked about Eric going to class Saturday morning, how would that work?” “Yeah, you should do that! Go ahead honey it’s no problem” she said enthusiastically.



Look at this. Here I was making assumptions, and maybe Eric as well, that her wife might object to him going to bjj. But in fact, she was glad that he got out of the house to train and get fitter.



If you have trouble because you feel obligated to help out at home. Try to make it easier for you and your family Example, what if you said, “I have practice on ______, is there anything you need help with before I go?”



The biggest obstacle might be yourself. Maybe you thinking for your wife to not help her out, is something that she is fine with. Or it could be more difficult than that which I’ll get in to next.



How to negotiate with your wife for more bjj time

Depending on your relationship with your wife and family, this will be simple, or not so simple. Let’s take a broad look at your life.



How are your days, planned for work, exercise, family time and dinner? Do you have a set plan that you thought out, or do you take the day it as it comes? Are you helping your wife plan the day, or is she helping you plan the day?



If you are helping your wife plan the day, great! This means its highly likely that you are already training regularly and probably will have an easy time to add one more sessions per week. If its the other way around, she is helping you plan the day. Then it could be harder to add one or two training sessions per week. But we’ll get into that.



Are you going places with your career? This is a good indicator of how easy or hard it will be to train more and get your family on board. If you have a clear plan of action for your career and your family, she will feel more confident that you can take some time off to go train bjj. Somewhere you will have to find a balance between taking care of your family, training bjj, and improving your career.



Are you able to meet new people with ease?

How does this even relate to getting more time for bjj? Let’s take a fictional example of Bob and Carl. Bob is a good guy, having a decent job, a nice wife and spend most of his time with a beer on the weekends and maybe one at dinner on occasion. Bob is somewhat reluctant to reach out to people, and lets his wife introduce him to people. She is fine with it. She makes most of the plans and is somewhat stressed about it.

While they are out she is tugging him along and he is stuck on his phone. While they are having dinner they are both looking at their phone or kind of bored just sitting there not knowing what to talk about. Bob could lose a couple of extra pounds and he knows it. But doesn’t do much about it.



Now Carl is working an not so great job, but he is working on the side of a potential business that could massively improve his income and life for his family. He likes to spend alone time with his wife, but when they go out he makes sure to speak to everyone. Making them feel good and includes everyone in the conversation. He is decently looking because he works out in the gym and practice bjj. He is kind of busy, between his job, family, side hustle and the gym. But makes time to be present in the moment with whatever he is doing. Since he is busy most of the time, his wife finds it a treat when they go out.



He either comes up with ideas for them to do, or let her come up with a couple of things they could do and let him choose. She is happy. When Carl and his family are out, they are engaged and smiling, or maybe just content and enjoying the moment watching people. Carl is fit year-round and bulking or cutting in seasons. He is maybe a couple of pounds too heavy at times, but that is fine since he is bulking right now and working on a one-year goal to add 5-10kg of muscle mass.



Carl sets a rough schedule for the coming day in the evening, for everything that needs to be taken care of. When he gets up, if he goes to the gym/dojo in the morning or after work, ask if his wife needs help with anything. Most likely he knows already what she wants help with so he says, “I will be ready to help you with _____ after I get home.”



Let’s stop for a moment. Who do you think would have an easier time getting more time for bjj? Bob, who just keeps getting by with his life, or carl who has a plan for his life, when to have for family, bjj and future? The more you plan, do and study, the easier life gets.



I’m not saying you have to start a business and get six-pack abs. But having a direction in life for something more than just taking care of your family and job. Working on it on a daily basis, will improve your chances to get more time for bjj.



Having a easy-going wife is clearly easier to work with than a combative wife.

An easy-going wife, will probably easily agree for you to train more and want you to. Just make sure that while you are away, your family household works well. If you just leave and let her take care of your things without a plan, there is bound to be friction and unhappiness when you get home or overtime.



I’m no expert on having a combative wife, but there are a couple of things that work in any relationship. Have a firm plan for your family on a weekly basis. Let them know what is important to you. Guide your family to have a great time. Follow through with your plan. And life gets easier.



Mostly it relates to how much personal energy you have, and how you feel about yourself, your career, and your relationship with the people around you. The more personal energy you have, the easier you will be able to influence the world around you. The higher the confidence you have, the easier it will be to get things done.



Here is a simple test

How would you rate your Personal Energy // charisma on a scale 1-10?

How would you rate your fitness on a scale of 1-10?

How would you rate your career/job on a scale of 1-10?

You don’t have to be a 10/10/10 in all of them. An 6-8 score of above average is a great place to be. If you rated something 4-6, try to make a six-month plan to get into the 6-8 range. If you rated something 1-4, give it your full attention to get it up as soon as possible!



It takes surprisingly little work to raise something from a 5-6, to an 8. If you could devote 5-10 hour per week, working on freeing up time on your job, or earning more money, or improving your relationship skills, it would be easier to get more time for bjj.



The better you are at connecting with new people, the easier your relationship will become. The better you are at taking care of your own body, eating right, going to the gym lifting weights, and perform well at bjj, the easier your relationship will become.

The better your career is going the easier your relationship will become.



I’m not saying you have to be a 10/10/10. But having the personal Energy of striving for 8+ in all areas will improve your confidence, self-esteem and ability to get more time for bjj while keeping your family happy. With the added bonus of increasing your income.



It can be surprisingly easy and effective to just say, “honey, I will be at the gym Wednesday nights. I will prepare ______ (a task that you have previously done) the night before. Is there something we need to do before I go?” You should be able to guess what she wants help with. You could even skip the last part, depending on how your relationship is.



Before you casually mention this at the dinner table, make sure to be prepared for any objections she might have about who will take care of the kids, what you should eat for dinner? Prepare that in advance. if you night the kids, say that you will take another night.



It’s not easy, but simple. She might object a great deal. Or she will just put up some token resistance like, “how should we do x and y?” Or put on a full tantrum. Just weather the storm and stand firm. And it will get better over time. Cave in and let her have her way, and you won’t get any change.



If you haven’t set the decision previously, this it might be uncomfortable or even scary. Pushing through and letting your family know that your own health is important. Over time it will later make you happier, and your family will reap the benefits of having a more present and loving husband.



Be careful of how much time you spend away. One guy I interviewed focused a couple of years of his life training, with his wife and kids being fine with it. But later had to spend time with his son and help him catch up with school work for an entire year.



If you have time with your wife in the evening. Let her know that you will go to bed early tonight and onward. Set a time, minutes after the kids are in bed. Which will leave time to wash up the dishes. And do something fun together if possible. Like play wrestle. Talk about your day. What went well. What could have gone better? What would she wished she had done, if she could live today again? What are the three things she is grateful for.



I do this a couple of times per month with my girlfriend. And This is something I do personally every day. I also write out one or multiple things I failed at, that I wanted to achieve for today. And why. How could I make a change to achieve this tomorrow or next well? Just doing this a couple of days, and suddenly, things that I procrastinated doing, got easier to do. Because I had written out what I failed at, why I did it, and how I could make it easier for me tomorrow.



Another thing could be to look up silly jokes on reddit and share them with her. Only share jokes you think are truly funny, and that she might like. Don’t share jokes and expect a laugh or attention. Do it because you genuinely thought it would be funny. Why this distinction? Because expecting a laugh in return, is forcing yourself on her. It’s like a covert contract, if I tell a joke, you should laugh. No. Instead, just share it because you thought it was funny. Often when I tell a joke to my girlfriend it bombs. But I still got a huge laugh out of it. And sometimes it’s great and we both laugh.

ACTION STEP

Create a family schedule for the week

Talk with your wife when you will train bjj and make a plan to keep the family happy

Work on improving your fitness/job – whichever is most urgent — for overall more well being and freedom

Success leaves clues. Trust your weekly schedule. With every person I’ve interviewed, having a clear family schedule and goals for the future, has always been the clues to a man who trains 4 times per week.



INTERVIEW: How Claudio trains 8-10 times per week, with wife and two teenage kids — interview

Claudio with girlfriend, boy 16 and girl 13.



How does your family training look like?

“I’m out running and going to the gym with Stefan. The girl plays football. Stefan is not a sporty guy so it’s been a challenge to go out.”



How does your own training schedule look like?

“Run twice a week. Gym 4-5 times a week with Stefan. 2-3 bjj.

This year my focus is on my family. Last year was on bjj, 5-6 bjj. And it didn’t quite work out. There is always something that bites the grass. And it was the family.

It was easy at the time. But looking back, it wasn’t so nice of me. The boy struggled with the grades, and we had fight hard to get them back. We sat two hours per evening, studying.”



How has your learning been?

“I’ve had fast learning progress in bjj. But looking back at the family, they took a turn. It would have been better to put some time in on helping my boy study. And train less.”



“The days only have so many hours.”



How do you handle the family balance?

“I have a fucking great girl. As long as she doesn’t have any plans, I’m free to go and train.If she has something to do, she gets to do that. There has been no problems there. Almost got a bad conscious about it.”



What do you do off the mat, to improve your bjj?

“I watch YouTube, and don’t look at new techniques. Instead I focus on old techniques and learning deeper details. For example heel hooks. How do i make it more effective? After I’ve watched it 100 times, I try it out in practice.”



Would you think its better to study like this or learn new things?

“I think I’ve got something out of it. That they get harder to get out of. It’s easier to tweak something I already know. Finding the right angles.”



What advice would you give to someone who want to train more?

“If the family puzzle is the problem, try to make a deal with your girl. For example put up a goal. If the next competition is in December, “I want to commit and compete at Swedish open. I want to win my weight class. Could you help me with that?” And work with that, so she can help out more.



You could also prioritize your life. Work less and quit YouTube. There are quite a lot of hours, that you just sit and don’t do anything. Even though you are there. You are not.



If you have trouble making a deal, you have to compromise. if your partner has a hobby you could say, “if I get to do this the coming six months, you could do your thing the next six months.’



Or if nothing else works, you have to put your foot down. “I will do this, and you will have to take care of the cleaning. And see how that goes.” *laughs*



The biggest thing is communication with your partner. Talk about your deepest desires about training more. Depending on how your partner is, it will be easy or a challenge. You feel good when you train.”



What motivates you to train?

“My drives comes from my getting better, and feeling good from training. It’s a joy to grow and learn new things.”

How to stay injury-free training minimum three days a week

Here’s how I could train five days in a row with one double sessions on the morning and then one in the evening. While another purple belt, only who trained now and then, just because he went to hard, and had messed up his body. While being overweight.



What was the difference? I don’t know his full story I must admit. But what was plain, was that he admitted himself that he only trained now and then. Why did he only train now and then? Because he went to hard in class when he was at practice. And also that he had 30kg+ excess bodyweight that wasn’t in his favor.



What if we could continue training like this for a year? How could I keep myself motivated?

I could put in six decent-good bjj sessions last week, while he had one good and one bad session. In a year that would be about 300 sessions vs 100. 200 sessions more, just because I had put thought into my training, how I train, why I train, and what I do off the mats.



For example, on a couple of these days it was easy going to practice. The first two days was easy, because of novelty. I was visiting a new club, and we had mats outdoors almost on the beach.



However on the third day already, I started to question myself, “why do I even train? I’m actually on vacation right now with my girlfriend and her family. I could just relax, have a late breakfast and then go to the beach.” I actually had to remind myself why I practice, and where I would like to be in a year from now, or even ten years from now.



Because I want to master the art of Jiu-Jitsu, and put forth ten years of training into it. And on the fifth day I even said to my family, maybe I won’t go to practice, because I’ve already been this morning, and do I really need to practice tonight? And their response was, “Oh? Now you have started up this group to train on a daily basis, are you now going to abandon them?” So I went thanks to their accountability and I would have probably done it anyway. This shows the importance of family union, accountability and commitment.



What happened here? I had already had 3-4 bjj good sessions. They were mostly white belts and low attendance. And it was kind of unsure whether it would be a class this night because our instructor runs a surf cafe and bjj practice this week was squeezed in there, not planned.



Yet, by having a big goal in mind, be great at jiujitsu. Having family for accountability. And knowing I had started this daily training group, got me to the mat.



How could you use this story in your own life?

How could you get your family involved if they aren’t already? For example, I brought my girlfriend with me on the first day and got here to put on the GI for the first time with me. We had previously just done some techniques. Thread some arms going for the underhooks. And went to the gym. So this was our first class together. And I brought her brother with his family, and her parents came after. This way I had the whole family committed to try out something fun. And after we could borrow/rent Stand Up Paddleboards for a fun activity after class.



ACTION STEP

How could you lower the intensity per bjj class, and get more out of each class?

How could you learn off the mat?

How could you involve your whole family in your training and goals?

How could you get more support for your family?

What motivates you to train bjj when you don’t feel like it?

What is the ONE thing, that would help you train more bjj?

Looking back, something that made a huge turning point for me, was reading about a guy who wanted to get really good at chess. And I thought to myself, “If I would master (or at least get good at) any sport, it could just as well be bjj.” Because of the benefits of learning self-defense, and it’s fun to roll around and try to win over another guy.”

On strength training — What to train and how to do it

“my goal is to get into serious shape. I know success in bjj is largely based in having solid fundamentals and good technique but I feel like my game could be so much better if I had some real strength behind it.”



There are a couple of ways to train for bjj,

Only focus on bjj, doing no strength training Train enough strength to reduce the risk of injury and improve endurance Focus on strength to look good naked, and get 1-3 bjj sessions per week Go all in. Train 10-20 hours per week splitting bjj, cardio, and strength equally

How should you train? It depends on what your focus is. What you want to get out of your training and life. Let’s go through the pros and cons for each way of training:



Only focus on bjj, doing no strength training

You get really good at technique making it your #1 focus

You improve faster and feel you learn things every class

You immerse yourself with 100% focus on bjj

You might get injured because of lack of muscles to keep your body strong

Your body changes slightly or a lot depending on where you started

Train enough strength to reduce the risk of injury and improve endurance

You spend most of the time learning techniques and practice them live rolling

You feel stronger overall and less sore

You get the added benefit of improving two things, which’s feels more fun because of the novelty — and if one of them feels slow rigth now, the other one is probably more fun

You have something to practice when your schedule gets in the way. Not being dependent on class schedule

You don’t get chiseled abs

Focus on strength to look good naked, and get 1-3 bjj sessions per week

You get a great looking body

You improve your bjj on a weekly rate

You have trouble keeping up with your competitive friends in class

You advance at an okay rate but wish it would go faster

Go all in. Train 10-20 hours per week splitting bjj, cardio, and strength equally

You improve a lot every class

You feel stronger and more athletic

You train more than anyone you know

You invest a lot of time for training which could have been spent with your family

You have very little time for anything else than work, training, and family

My recommendations for you

Think about where you want to be and go with your training. Most people just want to train a couple of times per week to have fun and stay healthy. But do you want to get more fit or improve your bjj? It’s a tough choice.



Mostly because you are already pretty good at bjj. But need to learn more about lifting and invest time into that. And by investing more time into other things than bjj, your game will take a slight dip for awhile. If you take this route, just keep your ego in check and know this will happen.



I would recommend you to get at least 2-3 bjj sessions in per week. And at least 1-2 strength sessions in. Because bjj is tough. And having a couple of “rest” days where you build up your body is good.



Some would even say that 3-4 total sessions is a lot. And it is. But you don’t have to go full force on all sessions. In fact, try to roll and train at 40-60% once or twice a week. Training at a lower intensity a couple of times per week, will give you better results over the long term.



Getting more time on the mats and in the gym, is more important than rolling hard. Being consistent this week. Next month. Next year. Will give you far more growth than rolling hard until you feel sore and hinder your performance.

How my personal schedule looks like

I try to train on most days. Some days that is bjj. Other days lifting weights. Mostly because it fits my schedule.



A typical training week for me looks like,

Bjj on Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday.

Lifting on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

Rest day on Friday.

Why do I train like this? Most of us just want to have fun and roll for as long as possible. While getting better each week and feeling strong. That is why I’ve settled on this schedule. Practicing bjj two times per week is enough to make progress. Three times a week is accelerated progress. Lifting weights two to three times a week with a good program, is more than enough to get strong and look good naked.



How to train strength and look good naked

Four plate deadlift (397 lbs/180kg)

How I train strength

Monday, bench press, seal rows, weighted crunches

Tuesday, squats, lunges, arms

Thursday, deadlift, pull-ups, overhead press

I use a reverse pyramid training program which is in simple terms,

Warm-up with 2-3 easy sets. Then I try to get 8 or more reps on the first set. Then rest 1.5-3min. On the next set, I take off 5-10% weight and go for 10 or more reps. Rest. And last set I take off another 5-10% to go for 12+ reps. This is surprisingly tough. When I can do 8 or more reps on my first set, I add 5-10% on all sets next session.



Example squats,

8 reps 100kg

10 reps 90kg

12 reps 80kg

If you want to learn more about this I recommend you check out leangains.com with Martin Berkhan.



Nutrition

Lunch — salad and green tea



What to eat to perform great on the mat

I will go over the basics of nutrition which will be pretty obvious. But even getting the Basics in life done can be a challenge and needs to be repeated.



What to eat before training

Before bjj or a weight lifting session, I make sure to not be full. I’ve made the mistake of being too full and then being slow and feeling bloated and slow during practice. NOT FUN. I fill up with energy-rich foods such as rice, beans, and nuts with a couple of bananas and greens.



What to eat after training

Eat mostly carbs, protein and some fat. On most bjj sessions I’ve prepared a smoothie with banana, oats, almonds, blueberries, chia, and ground flaxseed, with water for consistency. Which helps a lot to refuel my body after a tough training session. Then dinner. I try not to be too full to late at night. To fall asleep easier.



What NOT to eat

I like what Jocko Willink has to say about food. “There are two types of food. One type which makes you stronger. And one type which makes you weaker.” Try for a week when you are about to buy or eat something. Ask yourself, “will this ________ make me stronger or weaker?”



Skipping breakfast (fasting)

Skipping breakfast is a big part of my day. Because it helps me be more productive at work and multiple studies support that the body recomposition to burn fat and build more muscles, even without doing any training! While also improving mood and a ton of other things. I recommend you read up on intermittent fasting to learn more of the science behind it.



You don’t have to eat food all the time. In fact, by eating fewer meals, the body learns how to handle the nutrition more efficiently. Try it for two weeks. See how it goes. Although you might want to try a month. Because it might take a week or two (maybe longer) to get rid of the hunger from years break fast eating.



Remember, your body isn’t hungry because it needs food RIGHT NOW. It’s hungry because its used for breakfast. Trying this might make you more efficient and more wakeful at work. If not after a month? You’ve tried something new.



How much should you eat?

There is the advanced approach. Or the simple. You could track everything you eat for a week, counting calories. Then remove 500kcal total per week. Or just skip breakfast/eat one less plate per day. An average breakfast is around 400-700 calories. Just by skipping breakfast or eating less for dinner solves it.



The quick fix to lose weight,

Skip breakfast, or

Buy new plates that are smaller

The quick fix to gain weight,

Eat one more plate every dinner

Buy new plates that are bigger

How to improve cardio

Doing more cardio and going out running helps your cardio. No doubt about that. But does it really help your rolling? Let’s look into this. If you are feeling out of breath, maybe you just need to use less force. Or even easier. Relax more during the roll.



I’ve noticed myself and studying others, that the more relaxed and efficient you are with your movements, the easier you will have to control your breath and have be less out of breath. For example, notice the new white belts how they are spazzy, mouth breathing and muscling like this is the world champion finals. While the black belts are usually very technical and try to use as few movements as possible. Being able to take it very easy and be in total control of their bodies.



Obviously they have many YEARS of experience at this point. But this still applies to them. If they would muscle and not use the technique, they would be out of breath within ten minutes. But they have learned over the years to relax. Be like water. Have fun.



You could instantly improve your cardio without running a step. Just try to relax more during rolling. Just relaxing more and reminding yourself to relax and have fun. With just a couple of short weeks you could have improved your cardio with this single action. Saving you getting up at 5 am running for an hour every morning of the week.



With that said, if you want to run to enjoy other health benefits such as less stress, more energy and improved mood. You should go out and run!



Having good cardio is also about being fit. You perform easier when you are light/medium weight. Heavy, and ultra-heavy have it tougher because it’s a large body to move around for the muscles and the body. Also in the opposite direction, being feather weight is tough because that is a very lean weight for someone doing a physical demanding sport.



My cardio is running a hard 2 minutes because I’m late to the morning train. And the occasionally jog once or twice a month. Following this, I rarely struggle with Cardio. Could I do more? Yes. Would my health improve running more? Probably. I’ve started to jog a couple of times per month.



But the most benefits I’ve gotten is to be more efficient with my techniques, strength and how I move. Setting a plan for what type of opponents I roll against. And how limit how much I muscle. If you are out of breath every roll, consider trying this. I make sure to pace my rolls and who I roll with. This helps my body feel better and get more practice in.



By following this routine right now, I could run a mile if I wanted to. And I could go to the gym and do heavy squats, overhead presses and pull-ups with nothing hurting. And roll for six rounds with just the usual 1-2 minute break. And do it well.

ACTION STEP

What would your goal be?

Take some time right now and just decide how your ideal training routine would look like. Setting a clear goal helps you push through at times when you are tired or not motivated to go.



Then follow for the rest of the year. Stay committed. Try to follow it as closely as possible. After two-three weeks, review how did it go? Was it easy or hard? Why? Did you expect to much of yourself? Or could you get more time for bjj?

How to have fun and train consistently

“I was so goddamn tired before class and it’s a miracle that I actually went.”

“I just want to maintain my consistency and ignore

my true calling of being a lazy sack of shit.”



“I just want to skip bjj after I get home”

I understand you. Me too. Yet we both know where that road will take us. There are a lot of things I want to skip in life, and you probably want to skip, yet we still do them. Getting up on time for work. Taking care of my family when I’m tired. Working after I get home. Going to bjj class. There are a lot of things I necessarily don’t want to do, but still do. Because the long term benefits are worth it.



What’s worked really well for me, my friends, and world champions, is to have a firm belief why you do, what you do. What would you gain by going to bjj class this evening? What would you feel after bjj class is done? How would you feel if you did not go to practice today? Maybe not so bad. It’s just one day after all.



What if we look a little further down the road, let’s say six months to a year. How would you feel if you consistently missed a couple of classes every month for a year? That’s a different story. Now we’ve changed the picture of just one class, to an entire year of training so-so. Where would you have been if you trained consistently during this year? What would you have learned? How would you perceive yourself if you had trained consistently for this year? How would you perceive yourself if you had not trained consistently for this year?



Obviously you would have had more time for family and work. But you would also feel that you could have done more. Or you would not be reading this ultimate guide to getting more time for bjj.

ACTION PROMPT

Now take out a notepad or open a new note on your phone to write down the answers to a couple of questions below. (10-20 minutes)

Why do you train?

What would you gain by getting better at bjj?

Where would you be in twelve months of consistent training?

Where would you be in twelve months of inconsistent training?

How would you feel if you had trained consistently for twelve months?

How would you feel if you had not trained consistently for twelve months?

How would you perceive yourself if you trained consistently for twelve months?

How would your family, friends, and people around you perceive you?

Do you have any particular friends you enjoy training with at the gym, and you could train more with? How would that look like?

What obstacles would stand in your path to train consistently the next twelve months?

How would you overcome them? What kind of conversations would you have to have with family, friends, employer/es, to get it to work?

Discipline Equals Freedom

“We all get tired. But still showing up for practice is better than not showing up. Even if we can’t perform 100% it’s a thousands times better then no practice at all.” -From the warrior kid by, Jocko Willink



“There are two pains in this world. The pain of discipline, or the pain of regret and disappointment.”

EXPERT INTERVIEW: How to engage your whole family and get them moving — with black belt Ariel Striim

What do you believe is the biggest obstacle that makes people quit training?

Work. Family. If you have a house, that needs maintenance and grass to cut. Most people have set work hours and are too tired after they get home from work. Then you give your kids a ride to some type of practice. Leaving no time for themselves. They do everything for others, both mom and dad.



Then it depends on what type of person you are, what type of lifestyle you live, and what job you have. The body is the souls temple. If you don’t take care of your body, the soul dims.



It’s good to move, proven by science. Why not just move? The thing with training, for many people, it’s a burden. Training should be fun, playful and inspiring. Many people train to look good. For validation. How fun is that in the long term?



Playful, balance, challenges, try new things to grow. Stand up paddle and surfing is mostly about timing (just like bjj). Catching the wind. Keeping the balance. Finding the wave. Surfing is why I’ve called my gyms “flow”.



How do you inspire people to train?

It’s a challenge. There is a big resistance with bjj such as, “before I start bjj I must get in shape first.” You can see a difference after the smartphone arrived, when parents look more on their iPhones than their kids.



How would you do, to get a person to go to an additional session per week?

It’s possible. I truly believe on being playful. That’s the only thing we don’t learn in school. Creative thinking. Where did the creative hour go? For example, Schools curriculums are good. But then, how far have you’ve come? That is something many schools could be better at. For example, the people who have trained a while, could coach the new students. Seeing them as individuals and following their growth.



I believe in good role models. That inspires you. Everyone who train bjj, sees each other. Don’t show up to “give that guy hell” because he got you last week. Instead, be gladly surprised, “wow! You are really good at that, can you show me again?” You turn it around and appreciate each other.



There are a couple of things you should do once you walk through the door to your gym. Let go off prestige. Let go off things outside the gym such as, relationship troubles, had a long day at work. Instead, let the mind go blank. Go in and be fully present at the gym. It’s a life philosophy to be 100% present.



How do you inspire kids to learn, and get them to move more?

I believe in apps that inspire to movement and getting out. Like Pokemon go. In the past, you got on the bike for a 13km ride to ask if Joe was home. Sometimes you got a, “No he isn’t” and you had to bike back 13km. Now there is Snapchat. With instant notification and gratification. But very little connection. Kids don’t want anything else than meet up. But smartphone destroys much. Now kids can be sitting around a table and just snap each other, instead of talking.



How can you make exercise more exciting?

Physical exercise is the absolute best. You need good coaches that make it fun and playful to train. I believe in bodyweight training. Walk 45 minutes per day. Run in the forest. Some people prefer monotonous training like running or biking long distances. While I find running and biking boring. My girlfriend loves it. I would ride a mountain bike through a trail in the forest. Or go out kiting or windsurfing.



What can you do to train at home?

My first thoughts are to invest in a couple of mats at home. Don’t live the American life. Move the living room table out of the way. Skip the couch. Get out a couple of mats. Roll around with your whole family. Which kids don’t LOVE to grapple, especially with their parents? After you’ve done, just pick them up and stack them in a corner in 30 seconds. What if you have a house? Throw the mats out on the grass.



What should you do on the mat?

I believe in inspiration. Everyone can have a couple of mats at home. You could turn it into a thing at your gym. Get everyone involved and facetime in the evening. Doing some drills. Make homework, “today we train this”, and you get inspiration from that. Then you could meet up at the gym and practice and talk about what you’ve learned.



What should you do with kids on the mat?

Get them on the mat. Do a circuit training. Do some light warm-up. Play and grapple. Make it fun.



What if I’m living by myself?

Then you could do a lot of things. Practice your balance. Stand on the head. Bridge. Cartwheel. Training programs. Solo drills.

What if I have a wife and five kids?

Then you have to think of your whole family. What do they enjoy? I have two daughters, and they enjoy other things. But if they like it, train with them. Teach it step by step. In small increments. Make it playful and also keep it challenging enough for growth. Make it a thing to practice before dinner. Every kid loves to wrestle. Especially with their parents. Tailor your training to how they are.



What if they are hard to motivate?

Sometimes you need to put your foot down and say, “now we are going to train for a while”, with yourself and your family.



Ariel thoughts on being world-class

Every big name had a brother to train with. Find a friend to practice with. Try a 12-hour rolling session. With just enough time to drink some water.



On coaching

Having a lot of knowledge in a lot of different fields as a coach is super valuable. Giving the student what he wants in a tailored program is important. The coach has all the keys, to give the student a great program, that he enjoys.



Summary

It has to be fun. It should be playful. You have to be an inspiration. Schedule times into train. It should not be a necessity. Let yourself be inspired by others to train. It should be fun to be in flow.

How to take a big step towards next stripe/belt



Why is this in the guide to get more time for bjj? Because finding ways to get better at bjj, will help you have more fun, and having more fun, will make it more likely that you make time for bjj.



Important note, your goal shouldn’t be to reach your next stripe/belt. Rather it should be to show up on a weekly basis to learn. As you show up on a weekly basis to learn and have fun, you will eventually get your next stripe/belt.



Here are 7 common mistakes I see people who feel stuck make

They have lost the hunger that drove them to improve their bjj in the first place They have stopped innovating their game They are not trying to push themselves with harder and harder rolls They are too serious and not being playful They use excuses to miss training or don’t push themselves hard enough in class They don’t have a plan They don’t get enough training volume — training once or twice a week will only get you so far, adding a second or third bjj practice would transform their game and overcome their plateau

I have a challenge for you

What if you would seek out hard training this week?

How would that look like? For example it could be, only to roll with upper belts this week. People that really challenge you to your limits. Or it could be to watch one black belt match every day and look for small details that changed the match. What is something that would be require hard training, and would get you a huge return for the time invested?

What is something that would take you a huge step towards your next stripe/belt?

What does taking a big step towards your next stripe/belt got to do with getting more time for bjj?

It’s about getting more excited, creating a bigger drive o go practice bjj.



For example, When you get in the car for a vacation trip, do you plan what you will do and where you will go with your family? Do you plan the road to get from your home, to your end destination? You plan where you will stop, and what you will do. You probably do. How would bjj not be similar? Listening to your coach is great. But he only has a general overview of where everyone should go to improve. Maybe he LOVES to spend a week working knee on belly. Or baseball choke. Or spider guard. But do you? It’s fine in the beginning to learn everything he says. And throughout your entire bjj training. But when you gain more experience, you can start to try and build a game you enjoy.



And to be better you have to take the extra step of paving your own path.



What would you LOVE to learn?

What have you seen lately one of your friends do in the gym, or something you’ve seen on YouTube or Instagram? How could you study that and practice it a couple of times for the next month? When would you feel that you have tried it enough to move on to something else, or continue to use it?



Looking back, what are you proud to have achieved so far?

I appreciate where you’ve come from. We have a habit of always looking forward, and wanting things we don’t have. While we forget to appreciate things we have already accomplished or have right now. So what are you proud of having achieved so far?



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For example, I’m really proud to have started bjj, because I wanted to learn self-defense. I’m really proud of pushing through the first two to six months of training, because I had a really hard time getting to class and surviving. I’m really proud to get my blue belt after a long drought of not feeling progress and missed promotions. I’m really proud of continuing to train on a weekly basis to get really good at bjj.

Where are you now in terms of your game? How would you get from here, to there?

For example, as a white belt it’s all about showing up. It’s so much to take in, it’s hard to even have a plan besides showing up. After a couple of weeks or months, you gradually get a sense of what you can do and what you need to learn. Maybe a big obstacle would be, how to not get stuck under side control.



Just because you could muscle your way through a takedown, and doing it successfully for a while, now your next step could be, to use more technique and less muscles.



Or it could be, be more assertive on the mat. Don’t let others push you around.



It could be, be less assertive, and get pushed around more. Just to let go of your ego. And learn how to deal with less ideal situations.



You probably have a good feel of what you need to work on right now, but how would it look like to get from here, to there?

The more you see something, the more you will think of it.

How do you think you would feel if you had a small shrine next to your tv with your belts (current and future). A framed picture of Royce Gracie** and your head instructor on each side. Next to your TV with a scented candle. What if your keychain had a bjj belt of your next color, so that every time you left your house and put your keys in the house and in your car, you got reminded of bjj? What if you always had a bjj bag packed, ready for training, and inside it you had picked out your next belt from a premium manufacturer of korall/kingz/ ? What if you change your ringtone to karate kid? No, that would be a bit much.

But still. How would you feel if you had just your next belt in your bag, or on your keychain? Would you think of more ways to train bjj, or less? I’ve recently decided to take my game to the next level. So I decided to buy both my brown and black belt, and with a new purple belt, that I could wear in every class, that will remind me why I train bjj. An important note, I do not train bjj to get belts. But having the next belt in my bag, and my black belt hanging on the wall, is a reminder to continue to train on a weekly basis. Because I would look and feel really stupid if I had a black belt on my wall if I quit.

Quick guide – Focus on these 6 steps to get your next stripe or belt

Make a plan on what you want to get better at. Then, Ask your coach, “Hey ______. I’ve been thinking lately on how I could improve my game. These options came to mind, A) ______, B) _________, or C) _______. I think A would be most helpful to focus on. What do you think?” Have a plan before class, and review it after class how it went (11 minutes) Before class ask yourself, What do you want to practice today? (1min) After class ask yourself, What went well? What could have gone better? What did you learn? What’s the one focus that would improve your bjj next class/week/month? Keep a journal on your phone or notebook (10 minutes). Be more assertive and more aggressive. How? Take positions, instead of giving them up. Fight for the full pass instead of being stuck in half guard. GET the submission instead of letting him getaway. Pick who you want to train with. A common mistake is just to let other people pick their rounds. But doing this, will get you average results. There is a huge difference in picking, and being picked. One you have control, the other you don’t. By picking your partners you can set your own pace and how you want to be challenged today. Have fun. Forget about belts. Instead focus on the challenge of getting incrementally better every day. Having a big goal to get your next belt or even black belt is a great goal that feels good. But hard to achieve since it takes years of training. While just trying to pass your friends guard who is equal to you, is a fun challenge. Last time you tried to pass him three times, with one pass making it through. Can you pass him twice this round?

The framework to train bjj and study techniques

Example week,

Practice bjj, Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday morning/lunch class

Lift weights Monday, Tuesday, Thursday after work

After dinner on most nights, study 2 minutes of instructionals or match footage

How did I get to this schedule?

I mostly train around lunch or immediately after work. Because its easier to head straight to the gym than getting home in between.



I get up early and have trouble sleeping if bjj practice ends at 8 pm and I should be in bed by 9 pm right as I get home. I used to go to evening class but now i focus on getting weekend sessions or an occasional lunch. Occasionally I go to an evening class, but mostly regret it because of the sleep deprivation I get from it later and rolling around in bed without being able to sleep.



Why just study for 2 minutes after dinner?

Because it’s more important to create the habit of doing something after every dinner, than nothing at all. Or do it when you feel like, or when there is time. Most of us have two minutes to watch a Instagram technique or highlights of a bjj tournament.

Life first and training second

“Life first and training second. I love BJJ but it is a hobby.”



you know what? I’ve spent most of this guide, helping you find more time for bjj. but I’ve not talked much about being happy with how much you get right now. Most of the people I’ve talked with say, family first, work second, and bjj third. which is fine. it truly is. there is something to take pleasure in knowing you train bjj once or twice a week for fun. You know it will take a long time to get promoted. You know your friends are able to train more.



but there are also people like you out there. you probably know a couple already. Who just train bjj because it’s a fun hobby. Try to roll with them at least once every class you go to. If you guys keep challenging each other and have a battle back and forth who is the best guy of you two or three every month. You are growing together. And will find enjoyment from it.



Maybe you will train more in the future as your kids grow older. Because having small children is tough. But eventually they will grow older and become more independent. leaving you more time for bjj, if you want it.



Life is long and the days are short. Where do you see yourself in ten years? Are you still practicing armbars, chokes, escapes and passing guards? Do you think it would still be fun? During the last couple of years, I’ve felt a lot of stress because I’ve had high goals in life and thought I would be a lot closer to them by now. some I’ve achieved and passed well beyond what I thought possible 20 years ago. and others I’m surprised and frustrated that I haven’t achieved yet.



Something happened the week before I got promoted to blue. I just stopped caring. I stopped relying on what other people think of me. Instead showed up to practice to have fun and learn. As a result, I didn’t care that much if my guard got passed (Okay I did care more than a couple of times.) But instead of getting frustrated I asked myself, “what did he do differently? How could I improve my guard?” By shifting the focus from frustration to intrigued wonder, it got more fun. as a result, I got surprised with a purple belt promotion awhile later.



Just the act of letting go of what I should do, and be able to do. And just enjoy the now. It made bjj more fun. Right now I’ve actually been away from the mats a couple of weeks because of an injury. Does it bother me? Not much. Because I’ve had time to focus on other things. and instead of hanging out at the mats and going to the gym, I’ve picked up skateboarding 10-20 minutes daily for the last two weeks.



How does this help my bjj game? Instead of being frustrated missing important mat time. I know it will be a challenge to keep up once I get back. and people that I did well against might have an easy time with me now. But that’s okay.



The important thing is that I have been keeping myself active, moving around, having fun and challenge myself with hard things. The worst possible thing would have been just sitting around at home and do nothing.



As I’ve picked up skateboarding I’ve been able to bond with my girlfriend more and try to get out together once or twice a week just pushing our skateboards around the neighborhood. the other day we took a evening ride to a nearby school which has a huge plums tree outside. We skated up there and while she was picking plums I tried out a couple of new tricks in the parking lot.



Bjj isn’t the only thing in life. But it an important thing in life. The more we challenge ourselves with hard things, the better we will do. and the more we can enjoy life.

Your Next Step



Awesome! You made it here. Now is the time to run a couple of experiments. See them as a fun experiment. What did you find useful in this guide? Write them down like this on a post-it or a piece of paper.



Write down what you’ve liked from this guide:

Use this template,

I liked _______ (idea), because ________ (reason). I liked _______ (idea), because ________ (reason). I liked _______ (idea), because ________ (reason).

How could you use it over the next couple of weeks?

This week I could try to do ____________. I think ________ will be difficult so I plan ahead right now by doing ___________, which will make it easier. Next week I could try to do ____________. I think ________ will be difficult so I plan ahead right now by doing ___________, which will make it easier. The week after I could try to do ____________. I think ________ will be difficult so I plan ahead right now by doing ___________, which will make it easier.

Now try it for three weeks. Write it on your phone or put it in your calendar as a reminder, “this week I will try _________, to get more time for bjj.” Remember, this is just a fun experiment that you are trying out. If it fails, great! Set another reminder at the end of the week, “review getting more time for bjj experiment — what went well?”



It’s great if you did exceptionally well. It’s okay if it didn’t work out as you wanted. Yesterday I read about a experiment where they were asked to declare how much they would exercise over x weeks. Most of them felt confident they would go three times a week or more. When the weeks had been done, they had exercised some, but not at all as much as they had planned to.



When asked again how much they expected to train the coming weeks, they said four or more times! Because they overcompensated for last couple of weeks, even though they barely reached their previous exercise goals. I do this too! It’s okay. If you try four weekly experiments, and one of them results in getting more time for bjj, GREAT! Do more of that.



Then you could set up a new reminder, “after these four weeks, go through this guide again, could I see something new I could use?”

SUMMARY

We’ve covered a lot in this guide. Getting more time for bjj doesn’t happen overnight. It might take you quite a while depending on your family, the age of your kids. What kind of schedule you have at your job. What you do before and after work. But most importantly, decide that getting more bjj is important for you. Without this decision, everything else is trivial. You make the decision.



Remember, where would you be in a year of consistent practice? Where would you be if you changed nothing after reading this guide? How would that feel like?



Here is a quick reminder of each chapter and a link to study each chapter again,

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