



Fake news site Buzzfeed just published a fake news story that is so fake, it’s not even fake news. “It’s just fake,” as Kellyanne Conway put it. The editor of Buzzfeed himself says he has “serious reason to doubt the allegations in it,” but he published it anyway because this is “how we see the job of reporters in 2017.” So, the role of reporters is to just barf out whatever anyone throws at them? The dossier implicates the president-elect in everything from being a stooge for the Russian government to demanding women pee on him. It’s written like a prank from our side to lampoon how gullible and biased their side is. It’s also a good jumping-off point to discuss 10 other myths about our next president.

(1) TRUMP IS AN ADMITTED SEXUAL PREDATOR

Jesus LORD in heaven above am I sick of talking about a private conversation two guys had in a bus 11 years ago. I”m honestly stunned this devoured so much of the presidential election. It’s completely irrelevant, but if you really want to get into the nitty-gritty of the whole thing, it’s the opposite of sexist. That’s right. Trump was marveling at what groupies let you get away with and saying it’s crazy. It’s the same as the time he said he could “shoot somebody” in the middle of Fifth Avenue and get away with it. The tone was “Can you believe this shit? These women will basically let you do anything.” Megyn Kelly said he “grabbed women against their will.” This is a lie. He said, “They let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.”

The real problem here is that people revile Trump so much they can”t imagine women adore him as much as, say, Elvis, who kissed whoever he wanted whenever he wanted. Sorry, libs, money and power are a bigger aphrodisiac than being a “feminist ally.”

“Sorry, libs, money and power are a bigger aphrodisiac than being a “feminist ally.””

(2) TRUMP MOCKED A HANDICAPPED REPORTER

Are you as frustrated by these myths as I am? Why would anyone on earth brag about randomly grabbing women by the vagina? Why would anyone mock a handicapped reporter? Insulting someone just because they”re handicapped is something you might do when you”re 7 years old and then deeply regret it when you”re 8. Meryl Streep won a lifetime achievement award at the Golden Globes and dedicated her entire speech to criticizing Trump for making fun of a crippled reporter. He wasn”t. He was making the same flustered gesture he makes to mimic everyone he sees as flustered. Video of him doing this to everyone is very easy to dig up (I made one too), but that doesn”t stop the likes of The Washington Post from claiming our “assertions are not supported by video evidence.”

(3) TRUMP’s BANKRUPTCIES PROVE HE’s A BAD BUSINESSMAN

This is yet another example of people who have never tried something judging those who have actually done it. I”ve been an entrepreneur my whole life. You”re pretty much looking at 12 failures for every successful venture. When you run hundreds of businesses, bankruptcies are an inevitability.

Also, lots of companies took advantage of bankruptcy laws in the 1990s. This was a problem with the system and its roots are in government intervention. It’s like the real estate collapse. Yes, Wall Streeters took advantage of the collapse, but that money was just sitting on the floor. It was sitting there because big government decided every black and Hispanic person in the country deserved a mortgage.

(4) TRUMP’s A HYPOCRITE BECAUSE CHINA MANUFACTURED HIS TIES

The same answer applies to this question. When everyone is cheating, to play by the rules is to lose. I made action figures for my old company many years ago and was determined to make them in America. I quickly learned this wouldn”t just make them expensive, it would make them so expensive we couldn”t do the project. That’s the world we are living in. It’s not a fantasy and it’s not based on what you would like to happen. Trump wants to get us to the point where we don”t have to outsource manufacturing to stay not just competitive, but in business.

(5) TRUMP’s INHERITANCE WOULD HAVE MADE MORE MONEY IN THE STOCK MARKET

Again, these are broke people scoffing at a businessman who made billions. Trump got $40 million in equity when his father died and today he’s worth $3.7 billion. Getting a million dollars and not blowing it all is an accomplishment. Look at lottery winners or retired athletes. According to economist Matt Palumbo, if Trump invested $40M in the market, today he would have $1.91 billion after tax. This assumes dozens of variables against Trump including the assumption he could liquidate his inheritance. At any rate, even when we throw liberals a bone with this hypothetical scenario he ends up almost $2 billion poorer.

(6) HE SAID “MEXICANS ARE RAPISTS”

A fun game to play with liberals is to demand, “What exact sentence did this person say that is factually incorrect?” He never said all Mexicans are rapists. He said, “When Mexico sends its people, they”re not sending their best…. They”re bringing drugs. They”re bringing crime. They”re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.” His point was that a disproportionate number of the illegals who cross the border are rapists. I”d say 80% is a fairly disproportionate number. The age of consent there is 12. They”re certainly not NOT rapists.

(7) TRUMP WILL OVERTURN ROE V. WADE AND GAY MARRIAGE

I have no idea where this comes from, but abortion is pretty much the only thing I can get women to cite as a reason they chose Hillary over him. They seem to think he’s going to shut down Planned Parenthood and make abortions completely impossible in America despite absolutely zero evidence or any quote that even implies that.

The gays say the same thing about gay marriage, and when pressed for evidence, they say Mike Pence wants gays to be electrocuted. Trump has never implied he wants to do anything about gay marriage. His exact words were “It’s done.” Also, Pence never pushed for electroshock therapy for gays. His website once implied AIDS money should be redirected to “those seeking to change their sexual behavior.” Incidentally, if you got AIDS at a circuit party on meth after having sex nonstop for 36 hours, change your sexual behavior.