(Optional Musical Accompaniment To This Post)

The President*:

Called an interview that was recorded and broadcast to the world on Thursday “fake news.”

Lied about criticizing Theresa May, even though there’s, you know, audio tape of him doing it.

Foghorned a signal to white supremacists all over Europe about the danger of immigration to their “culture.”

Talked to his Uncle John from MIT, so, therefore, he “understands nuclear.”

Lied about being in Scotland before the Brexit vote—there’s video, people—so he can say he “predicted” it, and only for about the 411th time.

Expressed deep concern that the investigation of Russian ratfcking is hurting our foreign relations.

Blamed Putin’s land grab in Crimea on Barack Obama.

Hung John Roberts of Fox out to dry before god and the world. (You really should’ve stood up for your colleagues, John.)

“…the highest level of special…”

That’s not bad for one press conference.

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They stuck El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago out in some hayfield on Friday, largely because most of Great Britain—not “England,” pal—thinks he’s the second coming of the Black Death. Theresa May, who’s no bargain herself, but who doesn’t deserve this, was along for the ride, and, possibly, to keep track of the stun gun. And all of this is perfectly fine with the Republican pod people in the Congress, who think that the Deep State is paying off former Ohio State wrestlers to tell lies about Jim Jordan, because that’s really the way the world works. Alex Jones will be hosting the nightly news on PBS before the decade’s out. Swear to god, he will.

And now the president*’s off to meet with Vladimir Putin for his annual performance review. Heads up, Alaska. Hope you like borscht.

Happy Friday.

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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