HENRICO, Va. — Two years after his unsuccessful campaign as an independent candidate in Richmond’s 2016 mayoral election, lawyer Joe Morrissey was seen standing in line at his voting precinct wearing a brown paper bag over his head, witnesses confirmed Tuesday. “I noticed this tall, skinny guy in front of me with this brown Kroger bag over his head,” voter Stacey Reeves said. “He seemed a bit anxious and he kept looking around nervously.” She attempted to identify Morrissey in line, who abruptly declined to reveal his identity. “When I tapped on his shoulder and asked him if he was really ‘Fightin’ Joe,’ he said ‘Nope’ and quickly turned back around. But I heard him give his name to the people handing out the ballots, so it was totally him.” Other sources confirmed that, upon submitting his vote, Morrissey immediately ran to the nearest exit, jumped in his car, and took off for home.

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