Disclaimer: If you’re unsure of how the show might make you feel, or you think it might impact you negatively, I do not recommend watching it. Please note that the show is rated TV-MA and has the following warning: “This fictional series covers several difficult issues, including depression and suicide.

When I watched the first episode of 13 Reasons Why, I was immediately hooked on the show.

“Hey, it’s Hannah. Hannah Baker. That’s right. Don’t adjust your…whatever device you’re hearing this on. It’s me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore, and this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I’m about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you’re listening to this tape you’re one of the reasons why. I’m not saying which tape brings you into the story. But fear not, if you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up. I promise.”

This is how the show starts and I knew I had to keep watching to figure out why. The protagonist, Clay, hears this tape in the first couple of minutes in the episode. How could this seemingly kind, slightly dorky kid be one of the reasons Hannah decided to take her life? As the story unfolds, you begin to see all of the hurtful events and abuse Hannah encounters. Aside from suicide, the show explores many sensitive topics like drug use, abuse, and rape. It also “wrestles with what seems to be a paradox: as an act, suicide is not logical but it can be understandable. Hannah’s ‘reasons’ aren’t as solid as she believes, but equally 13 Reasons Why shows that kindness instead of cruelty or indifference can make a huge difference.” Though presenting these topics to young adults and adults have some benefits, the show has also received backlash for how these topics have been portrayed.

There are arguments that it glorifies suicide and does not accurately portray the reality, and aftermath, of death (whether through suicide or not). Hannah is still “living” through her tapes, and she’s taking her revenge on the people that hurt her. This idea might seem enticing for people that are considering suicide or suffering from depression. I admit that the tapes are the reason I was pulled into the series. I wanted to find out what happened to Hannah. However, I do not think her sending tapes to her oppressors justifies her suicide in any way. In the end, she made the decision to take her own life, and there is no one else to blame for that.

I had a lot of mixed feelings watching the show and I didn’t particularly like any of the characters. Everyone, including Hannah, had their faults which I think makes the show more realistic. When watching 13 Reasons Why, people should take precaution, and really consider the warnings. If the person watching feels they might be triggered or get upset, I don’t think they should watch it. That being said, I think there could be some benefits for watching the series.

The events that happened to Hannah (cyber bullying, assault, rape) are events that happen every single day. We as the viewers should see that starting a conversation or even thinking about our actions towards people can help. Perhaps one small change, one small kind gesture could have changed the outcome and that’s what really sat with me after finishing the series. I wanted to be more aware and kinder to the people around me.

There is also an argument about whether Hannah’s suicide scene should have been displayed. It may trigger viewers that are suffering from self-harm and depression. I completely agree that viewers should take precaution by either not watching the show at all or watching the show with someone that can help them afterwards. But, I also agree with one of the main writers on the show, Nic Sheff, when he says “It overwhelmingly seems to me that the most irresponsible thing we could’ve done would have been not to show the death at all.” It was a hard scene for me to watch. Even though I had been experiencing Hannah’s life through her tapes, as the viewer I knew this scene was coming from episode one and thought I could brace myself. Yet, it was still very disturbing to watch. It sunk in that there was no going back for her. I felt the hopelessness and the submission that she had been fighting throughout the season. It leaves more of an impact seeing the horror of Hannah in a bathtub of blood.

The ultimate goal is to start a conversation about suicide, depression, abuse, drug use, and rape. A Crisis Counselor shares her own experience in the following:

“Suicide can be a difficult subject to discuss with others. This television series opens a pathway for those who struggle with discussing mental illness, bullying, sexual assault, or suicide. Some parents even watch the series with their teenagers and discuss the episodes afterwards. In reality, many teenagers and young adults do tell their parents what is happening in their lives. This Netflix series helps everyone discuss these difficult issues without making it awkward.”

These are real topics that are hard to talk about, especially for the younger generation. The show does a good job of portraying how awkward and uncomfortable it is for teens to talk about these horrible situations and feelings they may have. For example, when Hannah quits the poetry club because Ryan publishes her work without her permission, her parents noticed her absence. When asked about it, she simply says that she grew out of it. There were several times where Hannah decided not to talk to her parents because she didn’t want them to worry and felt it was unnecessary.

Personally, I think I could have really benefited from watching 13 Reasons Why when I was severely depressed. Like Hannah, it happened gradually and I didn’t even consider that I was suffering from depression until I was in too far. While watching the show, I felt that I could really relate to Hannah, not in the situations that she faced but in recognizing the same feelings she felt: the feelings of melancholy and trying to ask for help but not really knowing how. I mainly thought of others above myself similarly to Hannah when she kept her feelings to herself because she didn’t want to upset her friends and family.

We live in a world where criticism and bullying can happen to anyone at anytime. It only takes one post or one picture on Facebook to receive months of bullying and because of our phones, we can receive it throughout all hours of the day. This is shown in the beginning when Hannah’s first crush takes a seemingly innocent photo of Hannah going down a playground slide. The picture is passed around the school and she is branded the school tramp. She was teased through texts and at school throughout the day. However, when people gave Hannah a chance they realized they can separate the person from the rumor which tells the audience they shouldn’t judge people based on what they hear about them.

I agree with Nic Scheff wholeheartedly that “when it comes to suicide, I believe the message should be exactly the same. Facing these issues head-on — talking about them, being open about them — will always be our best defense against losing another life.” Though it may seem uncomfortable and a very sensitive topic, the best way to help someone is to approach them about it. They might deny that there’s an issue at first, but as long as you remain non-judgmental, that person is more likely to look to you for help or to confess how they feel.

One might think, “surely all of these events wouldn’t have happened to one student” or that “this wouldn’t have happened in our world because Hannah didn’t show any real signs of depression until the very end.” I think the point is: who are we to judge what someone seems to be going through based on what we think their life is? Many times, we do not understand why someone decides to take their life.

A person does not have to be clinically depressed to consider or commit suicide. It’s important to realize that this is a real and existing problem. People should try to be kinder in a world where technology/social media has made us colder. A little act of kindness can go a long way in a person’s life.

If you or anyone you know need help finding support and crises resources in your area, go to 13reasonswhy.info for more information”.

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I’d like to also include resources if you’re struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts:

Please call 1–800–279–8255 (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline)

7 cups of Tea: https://www.7cups.com/ :This was such a great resource for me. When I was too embarrassed to talk to anyone I knew, I found sometimes it’s much easier to talk to a stranger. Essentially it’s a website and an app you can hop onto if you’re feeling down or experiencing some anxiety. You can even choose from different categories and the website/app sets you up with a listener.

Talk Therapy: It’s also helpful to talk to a mental health counselor or a psychiatrist. You can get referred to one by scheduling an appointment with your doctor and telling them your feelings of depression.

Txt4life: If you’re uncomfortable with calling someone, talking over the phone, or even afraid that someone might hear you, txt4life is a great resource because you can text a Crisis Counselor about the way you’re feeling.