Sergeant, where’s my weed?!

A dazed and confused Ohio man called cops in Sharonville to complain that two officers “stole” a small amount of potent marijuana — and then angrily demanded that his stash be returned, according to a 911 call released by police.

“I had two cops come here and steal my f—king weed and I want it back,” the unidentified man told a police sergeant, insisting the theft happened at a hotel. “It was only like 4 grams, but it was, like, you know, prestige weed — and the motherf–kers took it.”

The uninformed man then claimed he knew the law, falsely asserting that it was legal to possess up to 100 grams of marijuana for recreational use in Ohio.

“And from what I know, 100 grams is cool, right?” he continued. “Or am I wrong?”

“You are wrong,” Sgt. Mark Dudleson replied. “What do you mean by that? Where did you get that information from?”

The man then tried to insist that he was in the clear since he was in Hamilton County, but the sergeant assured him that definitely wasn’t the case, prompting the caller to explode.

“What do you mean it’s not, dude?” the caller said. “Two months ago, it got passed — 100 grams, you guys don’t f–king take it, no f–king ticket. I know I’m right here, dude, don’t try to f–king talk to me like I’m dumb.”

The sergeant then suggested that the caller file a complaint against the cops, but he was determined to keep arguing his case.

“Did those motherf–kers turn in any weed?” the man shouted. “You know, man, I’ll take this as far as you want to go.”

The man continued his rant until the sergeant asked for some details, including the name of the hotel where the alleged theft occurred, which he declined to provide.

“But anyway, back to my f–king point and why I called you for your help: Where’s my f–king weed?” he continued. “Did any Sharonville cops turn in any weed last night?”

The caller then insisted that his wife — whom he would only identify as “Marilyn Manson” — told him two cops took his pot, but didn’t leave him a ticket for possession. He then finally realized his rant wasn’t getting him anywhere.

“But anyway, I can tell this is a losing situation, I just want you to look into it,” he told the sergeant. “Last night, 2:30, there were two f–king cops here that stole my weed. You have a good evening, sir, thank you.”

The Sharonville Police Department released the rambling recording on Tuesday while trying to clear up any misconceptions about marijuana possession.

The caller may have been thinking of an ordinance passed in nearby Cincinnati in July that decriminalized up to 100 grams of marijuana possession within city limits.

“To be blunt, recreational marijuana is still ILLEGAL … per our STATE law,” the department wrote. “We don’t make the rules; we just took an oath to uphold them.”