This is Landwirtschafts-Simulator , aka Farming Simulator . It's an insanely popular German video game that — as you might have guessed — lets you pretend to be a farmer.

It's basically like The Sims , if the only thing you could do on The Sims was grow wheat.

You spend hours plowing, sowing, and watering your field. Then you harvest your crops and sell them so you can buy more farming equipment. That's pretty much it.

So, how popular is thisgame? VERY. In 2016 , it was Germany's sixth–best-selling game of the year, beating out(and givinga run for its money).

Not much of a farmer? There are tons of other simulator games available. You can drive a garbage truck, a city bus, or a train. Want to operate a crane or run a lumber mill? There's a simulator for that.

Not much of a farmer? There are tons of other simulator games available. You can drive a garbage truck, a city bus, or a train. Want to operate a crane or run a lumber mill? There's a simulator for that.

Naturally, since I'm currently in Germany, I had to give it a try. Here's how it went.

I went with the generic Scandinavian farm because I'm on vacation, bay-bee.

First, you get to pick whether you want a generic Scandinavian farm or a generic American farm.

You're not supposed to do that, I think.

Now, I may look like a superstar wheat farmer, but I should tell you it took me, like, THREE HOURS to figure out how to do anything besides drive my tractor into a house.

Mostly, I just drove around my farm aimlessly trying to figure out what the fuck I was supposed to do.

So we're not working with much talent here.

I didn't play many video games growing up (except for Pokémon Blue and The Sims ). I also haven't driven a car in probably two years, much less a tractor.

A bunch of my coworkers (including one Farming Simulator aficionado) tried to help me. But god, I really suck at this game.

Here's the funny thing about Farming Simulator : It seems like it would be a lot easier to figure out (and a lot more fun) if you're...actually a farmer.

I'm serious! A lot of people in Germany enjoy playing the simulator version of their actual job. Here are a few Amazon reviews:

To succeed at the game, you have to know (or eventually figure out) what dozens of farming tools do.

Eventually (after quitting my game, switching to "easy" mode, bugging all my coworkers, watching a bunch of YouTube tutorials, and, ahem, actually reading the directions), my farming skills began improving. I even harvested and sold some wheat!

(Disappointingly, they don't all show up in gameplay. I was really hoping for a chicken army.)

Now I felt a bit more confident in my farming abilities, but I was still really fucking bored. So I bought 57 chickens.

Then I did a little off-roading, but this stupid wholesome game wouldn't even let me crash my tractor!!!

I just had to straight-up abandon them there.

I switched vehicles and wound up getting stuck on a fence. Then I switched vehicles again and promptly got that one stuck on an ATM.

I switched vehicles and wound up getting stuck on a fence. Then I switched vehicles again and promptly got that one stuck on an ATM.

Finally, feeling resigned, I gave up and spent the rest of my money on a cow. Her name is Emma and I love her.

So, what are my final takeaways?

When I first heard about Farming Simulator, I found it baffling that this game could be so popular. Now, after playing it for several hours, I am...still pretty baffled.

If you're looking for a game that's slow-moving and a bit meditative, I could maaaybe understand being into this, but it took so long to figure out that it only stressed me out. I can't imagine getting good at the game without playing it for hours, or even days.