That’s right, folks — I have delved into the world of online dating.

Online dating is kind of like online shopping for boys, except that it’s more like eBay than Amazon because sometimes you just can’t win the auction.

Let’s just say I have a lot of weird experiences with online dating. I have tried pretty much any site you can think of. I mean, I never paid for one…so maybe that’s why it hasn’t worked out. Match, eHarmony, and even Zoosk ask for money these days, so I don’t really use them. OKcupid works, but let me tell you, there are definitely some frogs (and very few princes).

Usually this is how online dating works for me. I search the people in my area. I look at profiles and wait for messages, because I am a lady and want to be pursued. I send a few messages to choice guys because I’m tired of waiting to be pursued. Few, if any, respond… and somehow it doesn’t work out, or the conversation dies. I decide to widen my search by location. Eventually I just throw location out the window and start messaging guys in New Zealand.

Here are my tips for online dating:

DO’s:

– Post pictures of your face

Dude. I do not want to see a tree, your bare chest, or your dog. At least not in your profile picture.

– Respond to my awesomely creative messages

Seriously, I just spent like 5 whole minutes on that message. At least reply and be like “Hey, I’m looking for someone less cool than you.”

– Learn to take a good selfie or have someone take your photo

I have a firm belief that anyone can look good in the right light. Please please please get a picture that makes you look good. Why would you use a picture of yourself frowning while looking frumpy? Look your best in your profile pic!

– Be funny in your description

Out of the hundreds (probably?) of profiles I have looked at, only one has actually made me laugh out loud…at least from something that was supposed to make me laugh, not a dude’s picture of him and his doll.

– Be yourself

You’re probably awesome, so just chill out.

DON’Ts

– Be a jerk

Seriously, don’t get mad when I’m not interested. There could be a million reasons why, but it’s probably your passive-aggressiveness.

– Be boring

If I ask you a question, can you please not give me a one word answer? K.

– SEND CREEPY PICTURES

I DO NOT APPRECIATE THIS.

– Lie on your profile

Why? What is the point?

– Send me a one word message

I will never respond to this. Ever.

– Or just say “What’s up?” or “How’s it goin”

I might respond to this, but I’d rather get a unique message so I know you haven’t messaged 20 girls the same thing today.

– Use bad grammar/spelling

Nawt kewl.

– Ask for pictures

Seriously? No.

– Make a fake profile

That last tip reminds me…I have made multiple fake profiles in the past. Was it fun? Was is creepy? Was it wrong? Yes, yes, and yes. It was very fun and interesting to make fake profiles. I felt freer to be me. And honestly, it’s what gave me the guts to make a real profile. I feel a bit bad about it sometimes. However, 90% of the guys who messaged my fake profiles were jerks, and many guessed they were fake profiles.

I really only made a fake profile when I was bored. After a few days, I usually got bored again and deleted the account.

One time I went so far as to make a sushi date with a guy in NYC. Sorry, bro.

Basically, online dating can be really good and/or really weird. There’s still a stigma around online dating, but let’s get over it. We are quirky women, so who cares if someone thinks online dating is weird? Also, FYI, it’s not.

So, go make a profile…or don’t. Do what makes you happy. If online dating looks interesting but you’ve been afraid to try it, just go for it!

Here’s a video to show you some of the men you might meet while dating online. This particular video focuses on the interesting guys you might come across on Christian Mingle:

Photo by Thomas8047