Batman & Robin

Director: Joel Schumacher

Screenwriter: Akiva Goldsman

Released: June 20, 1997

Method of Screening: DVD

Well, here it is, the cream of the crap when it comes to the Batman franchise. This is actually a movie I’ve watched specifically to remind myself how NOT to make movies (along with The Room by director Tommy Wiseau & Troll 2 by… it doesn’t even matter). This film was doomed before it began – straight from the script. It has no heart, character motivations that make no sense, and a huge amount of coincidences. They were very unfaithful to the source material, and took a lot of bizarre liberties.

Cast:

Bruce Wayne / Batman – George Clooney

Dick Grayson / Robin – Chris O’Donnell

Victor Fries / Mr. Freeze – Arnold Schwarzenegger

Pamela Isley / Poison Ivy – Uma Thurman

Barbara Wilson (ugh) / Batgirl – Alicia Silverstone

Alfred Pennyworth – Michael Gough

Bane / Antonio Diego (ugh) – Jeep Swenson / Michael Reid McKay

The previous themes of the films were this:

Batman ’89 was revenge and how trauma shapes a person

Batman Returns was feminism

Batman Forever was the duality of being Batman

Batman & Robin is about family and partnership. Every character has a ‘family problem’. Bruce and Dick don’t get along, Alfred misses his brother in a weak plotline, Barbara Wilson (ugh) comes back to her Uncle Alfred, Freeze wants to save his wife, and Ivy considers the earth her mother. This theme could have been explored wonderfully and it could have made for an interesting film… but c’est la vie.

In terms of what everyone wants (so I can just state it now… it’s pretty much all conveyed through exposition in the film)

Freeze wants diamonds to power his ice suit (really… powered by diamonds?) and wants to continue researching a cure for McGregor’s syndrome – the condition his wife has.

wants diamonds to power his ice suit (really… powered by diamonds?) and wants to continue researching a cure for McGregor’s syndrome – the condition his wife has. Ivy wants to make plants self-sufficient and allow them to defend themselves

wants to make plants self-sufficient and allow them to defend themselves Robin wants to be trusted by Batman.

wants to be trusted by Batman. Batman wants… to just kinda keep doing what he’s doing and have everyone listen to him all the time.

Also here:



ACT 1

Beginning

The film almost starts exactly the same as Batman Forever – the Batmobile raises out of the ground as Batman approaches it… except this time accompanied by the playful Robin, who quips that “[He] want[s] a car. Chicks dig the car.” Oh boy. Already. Batman retorts with “This is why Superman works alone” – and off they go, and Alfred says that he’ll “cancel the pizzas”. It’s lighter in tone, and is definitely going to be much more kid-friendly.

Plot Point 1: Inciting Incident (~3 min, 20 seconds in)

The inciting incident is a very small moment – but right after Batman and Robin leave, Alfred has a pained look on his face. Something’s wrong, but we don’t know what.

Plot Point 2 (~14 minutes in)

After a ridiculous sequence involving Batman & Robin playing ice hockey, an inability to properly display physics, a spaceship, and surfboarding out of the sky, Robin is frozen by Mr. Freeze, and Batman has to choose to stay and save Robin, or chase down Freeze. Being pseudo-family, he saves Robin.

Plot Point 3 (~20 minutes in)

Before the 20 minute mark, we’re treated to a lot of exposition and over-the-top acting as Dr. Jason Woodrue shows off his creation – a super soldier named Bane, made with a type of chemical called Venom. As well, we learn about Pamela Isley through her tape recording herself that she’s got a thing for plants and hopes to make them self-sufficient – make animals out of plants. Then after Woodrue realizes she’s seen too much, he decides he must kill her and pushes her into a bunch of her chemicals. Come to think of it – this is pretty much exactly the same plot as Schreck & Selina in Batman Returns – except this is way goofier. A few minutes later she comes back to life (somehow knowing everything the chemicals changed about her), kills Woodrue, takes Bane and sets on a trip to Gotham and Wayne Enterprises (who seemingly fund this place she works at).

Plot Point 4 – KEY INCIDENT – END OF ACT 1 (~30 minutes in)

Barbara Wilson (ugh) shows up at Wayne Manor looking for her Uncle Alfred. There’s a bunch of exposition, and Bruce offers to let her live at Wayne Manor (for… what reason?) because she’s family.

Plot Point 5 (~38 minutes in)

After being exposed to more “family and trust issues” (Barbara sneaking out and taking bikes, Bruce unable to answer questions about marriage, etc) he meets Isley, who asks him to help her fund and protect plants. Bruce politely declines and tells her “people first”. And some other character mentions that Batman & Robin protect Gotham. In one fell swoop, Ivy has two new enemies – Bruce and Batman.

Plot Point 6 (~45 minutes to 50 minutes in)

At an auction to raise money (and also a badly planned trap for Mr. Freeze) Poison Ivy turns Bats and Robin against each other with her pheromone dust – creating more tension in their relationship. Then Mr. Freeze falls for the trap and shows up, and meets Ivy. Their union begins here.

Batman and Robin end up chasing Freeze down, and Bats deactivates Robin’s motorcycle, not trusting that Robin can make a jump on the bike. Robin’s piiiiiisssed and gives Bruce a bit of shit when they’re back at the cave later.

But Batman manages to catch and knock out Freeze, apprehending him.

Plot Point 7 – MIDPOINT (~1 hr 0 minutes to 1 hr 7 minutes in)

Julie Madison, Bruce’s long-time girlfriend (who has very little to do on screen it seems) mentions that she can’t wait around forever for him (FAMILY!) while Bruce just imagines about Poison Ivy. Barb sneaks out again, but Dick follows her to a motorbike race and saves her life, and then they find out that Alfred is dying. That’s why Barbara came back, to take Alfred away from “a life of servitude”.

Plot Point 8 (~1 hour, 15 minutes to 1 hr 22 minutes in)

Batman and Robin find Nora Fries, frozen at Mr. Freeze’s lair. At this point, they don’t know that Ivy and Freeze escaped Arkham, and are nearby. They encounter Ivy, who encourages them to fight with each other again and nearly has Bane kill them. Then, while they’re distracted, Ivy goes back to Nora Fries’ tank and unplugs it, (seemingly) killing her, with plans to pin it on Batman – and it works. Freeze’s new goal – destroy the world for taking his wife away. As well, we find out that Alfred has McGregor’s syndrome, the same condition Fries’ wife has (WOAH! COINCIDENCE!) But it’s only in stage 1, while Nora’s past that. Fries actually has a cure for stage 1 (and nobody else has done it yet)

Plot Point 9 – END OF ACT 2 (~1 hour, 31 minutes to 1 hour, 36 minutes in)

Bruce and Alfred have a moment, almost saying goodbye, because they know Alfred doesn’t have much time left. Meanwhile, Alfred has been trying to get in touch with old family members (who are all seemingly butlers as well), Barbara uses this information he tells her to never open to find out that Bruce and Dick are Batman & Robin. Afterwards, Bruce approaches Dick and convinces him that they need to be partners if they want to succeed.

Mr. Freeze manages to take over the observatory, and put his plan to turn the telescope into an ice beam into action, and Barbara finds the Batcave, telling the simulated Alfred to “suit [her] up”. And then she suits up. Ugh.

ACT 3



Plot Point 10 (~1 hour 41 minutes in)

Bruce realizes that Ivy is Pamela Isley when at a party, he smells her pheromones. He uses this information to convince Robin to join him again. So Batman and Robin go to Ivy, and trick her into spilling the beans on Freeze’s plan. But she nearly defeats them until they’re saved by BATGIRL! They manage to record Ivy saying that she killed Nora, and then her plants turn on her for… some reason. While this happens, Freeze begins icing the city.

Plot Point 11 (~1 hour 50 minutes in)

The team have made it to the observatory, and Batman manages to defeat Freeze, deactivating the ice beam and thanks to Barbara, begins making satellites send heat to the city despite it being nighttime (what?) But then Freeze blows some bombs, taking the observatory out, and nearly killing everybody. Robin and Batgirl manage to defeat Bane (very easily) and Batman finally trusts Robin to save himself. Yay.

Plot Point 12 – CLIMAX (~1 hour 55 minutes in)

Barbara manages to fix the computer and they bring sunlight to Gotham. Batman talks to Freeze, reveals that Nora is still alive and Batman will ensure that Freeze can continue his research to save her life. In return, Freeze gives Bats the antidote for Stage 1 McGregor’s.

ENDING

Ivy and Freeze are placed in the same cell in Arkham, with Freeze planning on making Ivy’s life hell.

And the next morning after administering the cure to Alfred, he’s PERFECTLY CURED. They discuss how they’re a family – partners now. And that they’re gonna need a bigger cave.

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So the problems that lie in this movie – no plan really makes sense because they’ve all become cartoon characters, and there’s way too much exposition. Freeze can afford to build essentially a rocket ship that can almost reach space, but can’t afford to do research to find a cure for his wife. Ivy just talks at lengths about everything she can and does do. Batman and Robin are just a bitter old married couple… I genuinely believe that the angle they approached the theme from could have worked – Can Batman really trust anyone else? Can he have a family? But they just decided that this should instead be a two hour toy commercial.

I managed to find an undated script but it seems to be PRETTY close to the film… possibly dated not long before principal production – some noteworthy things:

The ice puns? They’re in the script. What were you thinking Goldsman?

Superman isn’t mentioned by Batman, but by Mr. Freeze… for no real reason.

Bruce Wayne’s girlfriend Julie Madison (a character from the comics that hasn’t been straight adapted for live action elsewhere – although it’s believed that Rachel Dawes from the Dark Knight trilogy is inspired by her) has a slightly more significant role. Apparently there was a scene shot where Ivy murders her by stabbing her, but it’s cut from the film. This murder scene is NOT in the script

Alfred’s old love Peg was named Joanna, and their relationship is explored a little further.

It’s explained that Barbara’s mom was named Margaret (explaining why she enters that as a password in the film… since they cut the scene where her mother’s name is discussed, her trying “Margaret” as a password to Alfred’s computer seems REALLY random)

The Bat Credit Card is NOT in this version of the script.

in this version of the script. Bruce and Julie Madison break up in a scene after Isley gets the keys to the Batsignal from the Commissioner and Bruce tells Pamela Isley he loves her. They shortened this scene down in the film, to Bruce smelling the pheromones and putting two and two together. It made Julie Madison much less relevant but got to the point quicker.

Yeah… so while comparing this script to Batman Forever‘s – it doesn’t hold up. It was rushed, unclear, the characters are unmotivated… and it goes to show the other side of the coin from what I said about Forever. With Forever I said you can make a shitty movie out of a good script. With Batman & Robin, it proves you can’t possibly make a good movie out of a shitty script.

Undated Script

Trailer

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As an aside, unrelated, I may also be posting on here about a new project I’m writing that hopefully will be coming up soon. As well, check out my own personal website I recently set up!