A concerned reader from Earth, United Nations of Earth (UNE) writes:

Dear A’goni, I’m 35 and have been dating my boyfriend, Dessi, for a few months. We get along really well and I think I’m starting to develop serious feelings for him. I am very physically attracted to him however any time I try to be romantic, he brushes me off. It’s really upsetting. At first I thought I was doing something wrong, but now I’m starting to worry he’s behaving this way because he’s actually a vast collection of nanites expertly masquerading as an organic being, and all he’s interested in are other nanites. I tried to talk to him about this recently and he completely flipped out, telling me never to ask stuff like that again or there would be “consequences.” I was so hurt. I told him I didn’t understand why he was so defensive, and that I was almost ready to drop the “L” word. For some reason this phrase made things even worse, and he started yelling that I shouldn’t be asking about where he was from. I don’t even understand what that means? This, and some other smaller signs, like that one time I caught him melting into an amorphous cloud of nanobots, are really making me start to question everything I thought I knew about our relationship. I am very troubled by these developments and I need to know if Dessi wants me, or if he’s only interested in other nanites. Please help!



Reader, you have a hunch that something’s not right, and that intuition is worth listening to.

Not feeling desired in a relationship can be truly demoralising, and lots of our readers have been put in similar positions. As I say to all of them - if what you are saying is true, you don’t have to put up with it!

However, before you do anything drastic, it’s important to really think this through.

You seem really focused on ‘being wanted’ and equating that with your attractiveness. Could you be jumping to the conclusion that Dessi is an unfathomably complex hive of nanites to cover up your own insecurities? Or are you sure he just isn’t having trouble communicating with you?

Have you considered other explanations? Perhaps he’s taken an interest in XenoCompatibility? Could he be just your regular synthetic in disguise?

I suppose I’m asking more questions than I’m answering, and you’re looking for advice on what to do.

You may feel it’s too soon to go and see a relationship therapist, but I would recommend this. You need to find a way to communicate, regardless of whether your boyfriend is organic or 12.5 trillion nanobots.

In the first instance perhaps you need to calmly and directly ask him to tell you more about the nanites, even if he warns you not to. It’s the only way you’ll ever know for sure.

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