A ballroom full of sequins, spandex, and semi stars… it must be Dancing with the Stars season! We’re watching and rooting for (for better or worse) two of our own, Braxton Family Values star Tamar Braxton (the better) and Don’t Be Tardy star Kim Zolciak (the worse).

When asked why she joined Dancing with the Stars, Tamar says, “After I had my baby, I kind of slowed down a bit and I just wanna put a pep in my step.” In rehearsal, Tamar and Val Chmerkovskiy are having fun together. Tamar says Val’s like an annoying little brother, adding, “Val and I are both outspoken <side eye>, but I’m happy to have the current champion as my partner.”

Tamar and Val dance the Quickstep to “Do Your Thing” by Basement Jaxx. The choreography is no joke – very courageous for week one – but Tamar nails it. So far, I think Tamar is the total package – spunky personality, good work ethic, and killer moves. Check out the video below.

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Carrie Ann Inaba points out that the Quickstep is one of the hardest dances, says Tamar blew her away, and describes the dance as elegant and classy.

Julianne Hough, who has taken over Len Goodman‘s head judge/middle of the table role, mentions that Tamar needs to work on her frame while in hold, but she gives her props for taking on the Quickstep the first week. “You are a feisty, fierce woman, but there was an elegance and a femininity that was very smooth and graceful.”

Bruno Tonioli says Val and Tamar‘s Quickstep was high octane, high volume, and high class with an incredible amount of content. “Just keeping up the pace of that speed was unbelievable,” he adds. “Slight misplacement of the feet, but it’s week one. Brilliant beginning.”

Scores

8+7+8= 23

In rehearsal, Tony Dovolani pushes Kim, who is beyond uptight, to go out of her comfort zone. Kim starts to cry. “I’m in front of cameras for a living,” she says. “So, really what is my hang up, I’m still trying to make sure everything is perfect.”

Kim and Tony dance (and I use that word loosely) the Salsa to “Hey Mama” by David Guetta. There’s not much to say about Kim’s dancing ability. The video speaks for itself. The performance as a whole is a huge miss. There’s too much going on. Smoke, dance troupe, costumes, lame tricks, wig – it’s all too extra.

Tony says he’s ready to win again. He is. But, dude, better luck next season.

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Carrie Ann says Kim held back too much and did the absolute bare minimum. “You are such a beautiful woman,” she adds. “When we watch you, we want to see you go for it. There’s no reason to hold back. There’s so much beauty. I felt that you held back so much. You can’t do that.”

Julianne says it looked like Salsa in slow motion.

Bruno blurts out, “This dance could be grounds for divorce,” explaining, “You got all of that on display and you can do nothing with it. You gotta deliver.”

Kim interrupts to say she is just excited she did it.

Bruno responds, “You got through it, which is good, but you have to perform it. You have to sell it.”

Kim‘s excuse: it’s weird to dance with a man who isn’t your husband.

Scores

4+4+4=12

Kim says Salsa the first week was tough, adding, “It’s one thing to do reality television, it’s another thing to shake it with another man. If it was Kroy, it’d be a whole different ball game.”

Leaderboard

Bindi Irwin and Derek Hough: 24

Nick Carter and Sharna Burgess: 24

Tamar Braxton and Val Chmerkovskiy: 23

Carlos PenaVega and Witney Carson: 23

Alexa PenaVega and Mark Ballas: 22

Alek Skarlatos and Lindsay Arnold: 22

Hayes Grier and Emma Slater: 21

Andy Grammer and Allison Holker: 21

Victor Espinoza and Karina Smirnoff: 15

Paula Deen and Louis Van Amstel: 15

Gary Busey and Anna Trebunskaya: 15

Chaka Khan and Keo Motsepe: 13

Kim Zolciak and Tony Dovolani: 12

Random Thoughts

Hayes, Alek, and Bindi have infectious personalities. On the dance floor, I was impressed by Carlos and Alexa. Off the dance floor, I’m already over the wife versus husband shtick. Also, Paula‘s everything, Mark‘s ponytail, and Hayes‘s brother (and his stupid t-shirt) can all exit stage left at any time; the sooner, the better. When Gary freaking Busey scores more points than you (KIM!), it’s time to go home and take more thigh gap selfies care of your children. Suspiciously, there are no performance pictures for Tony and Kim to be found.

TELL US – YOUR THOUGHTS ON TAMAR AND KIM? THE PREMIERE AS A WHOLE? WHO ARE YOU ROOTING FOR? WHO WILL GO HOME FIRST?



Videos: YouTube Main Photo: ABC/Adam Taylor