Chapter Text

1x01: Welcome to the Hellmouth

The two Summers women arrive

In a new town to start their new lives

Ones with no expulsions

And no gym explosions

(Let’s just hope that Buffy survives)

1x02: The Harvest

The Master sent one of his pawns

To feast on the kids at the Bronze

Though he fought for his dinner

Buffy still was the winner

So don’t underestimate blondes

1x03: Witch

Willow Rosenberg was very vexed

To find her friend Amy’d been hexed

“I don’t trust these witches!

With their spells and, and their switches!”

Oops – wait ‘til she sees what comes next.

1x04: Teacher’s Pet

Young Xander fell under the spell

Of a beautiful insect from hell

She’d take virgins to bed

And she’d bite off their head –

The first demon for whom Xander fell

1x05: Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

There once was a boy from suburbia

Who liked anything that’d disturb ya

And, even stranger,

He was turned on by danger

So Buffy kicked him to the curb-ia

1x06: The Pack

Flutie said, “Eat that pig, I’ll suspend you”

Not aware he was next on the menu.

Their cackling was hellish

As they ate him with relish —

That’s where liberal thinking will end you.

1x07: Angel

Buffy found Angel quite charming

Though he brooded, his smile was disarming

While at first she’d dismissed him

She was ready to kiss him

…But frenching with fangs is alarming

1x08: I, Robot…You, Jane

Willow was surfing the net

When she and her true love first met

But things get extreme when

You’re dating a demon

And everyone winds up upset

1x09: The Puppet Show

Into a puppet was hexed

A man who thought only of sex

He saved Giles’ head

But the crowd wished that instead

He had saved them from Oedipus Rex

1x10: Nightmares

Hank to his daughter, it seemed,

Was being unspeakably mean

He acted pathetic,

Which proved quite prophetic,

But for now it was only a dream

1x11: Out of Mind, Out of Sight

Ignored by most of all of her grade

Marcy found she had started to fade

Since none heard her voice

She soon made the choice

To make herself heard with a blade

1x12: Prophecy Girl

The strongest vampire by far

Saw his fate written out in the stars

The Slayer would drown

And he’d rule this town –

But he’d never seen CPR

Cordelia’s Epilogue

Don’t forget that Cordelia was there!

(Though she mostly just talked of her hair.)

By the end of the season

She’d begun to see reason

But she’d never let on that she cared.