A groundbreaking new study says there’s no such thing as a “vaginal orgasm” and that the elusive “G-spot orgasm” is elusive for a reason: because it simply doesn’t exist. Published in the forthcoming issue of Clinical Anatomy, the controversial study, which will surely upset the G-spot obsessed editors at Cosmopolitan, exalts the clitoris (called, somewhat creepily, the “female penis” by the study’s authors) as the sole source of the female orgasm.

“The ‘vaginal’ orgasm that some women report is always caused by the surrounding erectile organs,” write authors Vincenzo and Giulia Puppo. “The vagina has no anatomical relationship with the clitoris.”

Puppo and Puppo’s study expands on the sexual research of Alfred Kinsey and Masters & Johnson, while authoritatively debunking Freud’s theory that clitoral orgasms are “adolescent” and less powerful than the “mature” vaginal orgasm.

In the 1940s and 50s, Kinsey challenged Freud after interviewing 11,000 women, most of whom claimed they’d never experienced a vaginal orgasm (the findings were published in his landmark 1953 study, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female.) And in the ‘60s, famed sex researcher duo Masters and Johnson also countered Freud’s vaginal orgasm claims, while also underscoring that women were capable of multiple orgasms in a short period of time.

But the myth of vaginal and G-spot orgasms has persisted, thanks in part to women’s magazines (like Cosmo) which regularly feature tutorials on “How to Find the G-Spot”, that “spongy, puckered, or slightly ridged area” located on the top wall of the vagina. “Yes, you will find it,” Cosmo assures readers, promising to help them “reap the blissful benefits” upon discovering the region.

But according to Puppo and Puppo, Cosmo’s vaginal explorers are, unfortunately, searching for the sexual equivalent of Atlantis. In an extensive section of their study, the authors suggest that the G-spot is nothing more than a “scientific fraud,” noting that the much-hyped erogenous zone has “become the center of a multimillion dollar business” (think expensive vibrators with curved, finger-like appendages meant to stimulate it), and that its elusiveness has inspired some women to seek G-spot amplification surgeries that are “unnecessary and inefficacious.”

The authors also set the record straight about German scientist Ernst Gräfenberg’s theory that female ejaculation results from G-spot stimulation. According to Puppo and Puppo, secretion during female orgasm comes from glands located near the lower end of the urethra (otherwise known as the female prostate).

Pornography has contributed to our fetishizing of female ejaculation, better known as “squirting,” and also stirred debate over its very existence (some have argued, in effect, that it is just peeing). Puppo and Puppo affirm that some women experience “powerful emission” during orgasm; squirting is a real phenomenon, but an exceptionally rare one. Indeed, the fact that women don’t ejaculate like men allows for the preferable ability to have multiple orgasms.

Thanks to the two Puppos and their clarifying study, women can finally stop digging around for their G-spots and differentiating between types of orgasms that don’t exist. So dump the G-spot seeking vibrator and stop taunting us with claims of your intense, superior vaginal orgasms. It doesn’t exist and it never happened.

It’s just science.