Mad Sweeney's high-waisted paints will make them a little harder to see, is all

An adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s American Gods was stalled at HBO for so long that it left fans of the book with nothing but time, time in which to ponder who would play Wednesday (it’s Ian McShane), as well as whether the “orgasm of death” scene would ever make its way to even a premium-cable network. When Starz took on the project last year and recruited Bryan Fuller as showrunner, the Hannibal executive producer quickly laid concerns over the latter to rest. Not only will Bilquis, the most seductive of the Old Gods, have her chance to consume a man whole during coitus, but we’ll witness the man-eating vagina in action in the first season.


But because all this talk of cannibalistic genitals might raise some manly hackles—especially those belonging to anyone who uses the phrase “vagenda of manocide” without irony—Fuller recently piped up to reassure his dudely viewers that their penises won’t be left out in the cold. The American Gods showrunner spoke at length on the “Nerd World Report” (over at Ain’t It Cool) about the vast array of erections that will rear their heads throughout the series, possibly at the most inopportune times.

Noting the sexually-charged content he’s adapting, Fuller said there will be plenty of hard-ons that demonstrate just how erotic this battle of old gods versus new is. He didn’t mention which specific scenes will call for boners, but we imagine at least one of them will center on that one-night stand with an ifrit. With such copious copulation to consider, the production team is already hard at work figuring out how to make sure everyone’s standing at attention when the scene requires it. But luckily for the actors, Fuller says the flesh rockets will all be CGI.


“We have so many visual effects that involve digital erections,” Fuller told the Nerd World Report. “We have conversations, ‘Well, should we get [a] dildo and strap it onto the actors, is that going to be more cost effective? Or is it easier just to give them digital erections?’” The show’s opted for the latter, which should also save money on lube (though we know where they can buy it in bulk).