According to reliable backstage sources, WWE honcho Vince McMahon is “absolutely livid” over the fact that more Americans watched Monday’s total eclipse of the sun than the same day’s episode of Monday Night Raw.

“Vince called a meeting of the whole locker room and berated all the talent for not being as engaging as a rare, majestic display of cosmic symmetry,” said the source, who asked to be identified only as B. Kidman.

Journalist Dan Mutzler of the Wrestling Watcher Newsletter says McMahon “blew a gasket” when he learned that the orbits of planets and moons are controlled by mass and gravity, not by WWE’s creative team.

The atmosphere backstage was reportedly “very tense” all night as a furious McMahon stormed about, red-faced and fists clenched, demanding that “heads will roll” if the next solar eclipse falls on a Monday or Tuesday.

Another anonymous backstage source, who asked to identified only as Finn B., said McMahon called his longtime friend and US President Donald JimmyJam Trump, demanding that nuclear weaponry be deployed to “blow up that goddamned moon once and for all.”

Nobody had the nerve to tell McMahon that the next passage of Halley’s Comet falls on the same date as SummerSlam 2061.