The opinions expressed are mine only. These opinions do not necessarily reflect anybody else’s opinions. I do not own, operate, manage, or represent any band, venue, or company that I talk about, unless explicitly noted.

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The following are very spooky for an audio human (or other show production crew) to hear. In no particular order:

“We brought our own wireless system. It’s super cool, because it has all four mics! Got it for $100 on Amazon.”

“We added a couple of openers.”

“I forgot to tell you that we have a percussion player.”

“We actually have two drumkits.”

“Everybody sings.”

“The drummer needs a mic for vocals.” (Some folks do this really well, but other people…)

“Could I have a mic? I do some screamo stuff on one song.”

“I just joined this loud rock band. I play acoustic guitar. There’s no pickup, so you’ll have to mic it.” Later: “Can you turn up my guitar in my monitor?”

“I just got this vocal processor today!”

“I’m almost done plugging in those big power cables. Haven’t done the green one yet – what’s that for?”

“I left that twist-lock on deck for you.” (While pointing to a power connector that is “hot,” but not connected to a distro box. I was almost guilty of this once, before I caught myself.)

“We can run a couple of circuits from the house.”

“Never worked with a chain hoist before.” (I’ve said this. There’s a first time for everything, you can’t get around that, but the first time a crew member is getting hands-on with flying gear is always a little stressful for everybody.)

“I’m pretty sure I can figure out the flyware for this rig.” (I’ve said this as well, in so many words.)

“Can you run down to [venueName]? Their regular monitor engineer can’t make it tonight.”

“The weather’s always good that weekend.”

“There’s a storm over the mountain, but it’ll miss us.”

“I wonder how far away that lightning strike was.” Alternate form: “I wonder how far away that light- ” *BOOOOM!*

“Can you guys make your setup smaller so we can have more room for dancing?” (To a six-piece band that has already been set up almost on top of one another.)

“Could you guys move your setup back a few feet?” (This is never said when making the move would be easy. Ever.)

“We’ll send out the check on Monday.” (Some folks are good for this. Other folks…)