Let Jared do it!

Solve the crisis in the Middle East, which has defeated generals and clerics, emperors and kings, democrats and autocrats?

Let Jared do it!

Refashion the federal government into a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Trump Organization so everybody can get a sweet slice of the pie before the whole clan winds up playing pinochle together in Danbury?

Let Jared do it!

Allow The Washington Post to show you the genius of the whole thing.

The White House Office of American Innovation, to be led by Jared Kushner, the president's son-in-law and senior adviser, will operate as its own nimble power center within the West Wing and will report directly to Trump. Viewed internally as a SWAT team of strategic consultants, the office will be staffed by former business executives and is designed to infuse fresh thinking into Washington, float above the daily political grind and create a lasting legacy for a president still searching for signature achievements.

Boy, does that ever sound like first class business school porn, surrounding the basic nut concept of Running Government Like A Business with great, cottony swirls of meaningless jargon and a hard shell of impenetrable unreality. A SWAT team of strategic consultants! Glorioski, I'll bet Carl Icahn looks adorable in body armor. But I think this is the very best part.

In a White House riven at times by disorder and competing factions, the innovation office represents an expansion of Kushner's already far-reaching influence. The 36-year-old former real estate and media executive will continue to wear many hats, driving foreign and domestic policy as well as decisions on presidential personnel. He also is a shadow diplomat, serving as Trump's lead adviser on relations with China, Mexico, Canada and the Middle East.

If I may be pedantic, one cannot be a "shadow diplomat" if one's only job is showing your half-batty father-in-law how to read a map. And, also, too, making a 36-year-old rookie—whose only previous worldly experience consists of marrying into a real-estate grift-o-rama and running an obscure journal into the ground—your go-to fella for world peace and remaking the government pretty much defines a White House riven by disorder.

"We should have excellence in government," Kushner said Sunday in an interview in his West Wing office. "The government should be run like a great American company. Our hope is that we can achieve successes and efficiencies for our customers, who are the citizens."

Citizens are not your customers. Citizens are your employers. And what "great American company" are we using as a model? Your father-in-law's? I don't think it's a great idea to have the United States go bankrupt several times.

However, I do spot an essential element of the Trump business plan deep in the story.

In some cases, the office could direct that government functions be privatized, or that existing contracts be awarded to new bidders.

I'm sure this process will be marked by the same commitment to meritocracy that landed Jared in the White House.

What is the deal here? Where are the actual Trump sons? I know Eric's off somewhere having the bolts in his neck tightened, and Don, Jr. is out in the woods, sitting on a stump and thinking big thoughts about picking fights above his weight class:

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Ha, you mean like someone who was paid almost $500,000.00 to "teach" one class a semester at Harvard? #DoAsISayNotAsIDo https://t.co/8OpNksJQhl — Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) March 25, 2017

Meanwhile, Ivanka's honey-bunny is getting to run the world.

When he's done testifying, that is.

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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