Jenson Button is said to be ‘gutted’ that McLaren has finally ended its ‘vehicle operative decisional optimisation process’ by announcing him as Fernando Alonso’s partner for next season.

‘Jenson has been overwhelmed by all the support he’s received from fans,’ said a source close to the phlegm-voiced racer. ‘And because of that, he didn’t want to sound rude by admitting that he hates driving for McLaren and doesn’t want to go back there unless he has to.’

‘He was really hoping he wouldn’t have to return to Woking,’ our insider continued. ‘They make you take your shoes off before you enter the factory, you’re not allowed to touch the car in case you get fingerprints on it, and he probably understands about one in every ten things Ron says. It’s terrible. Plus of course, the car is crap and he’ll have to put up with that grumpy Spanish tit next year.’

Our source adds that matters have been made worse for Button by his friend Mark Webber who ‘will not stop’ putting pictures of his Porsche 919 on Facebook.

Insiders say that when Button received news of his 2015 contract, his immediate reaction was to ring 2014 team mate Ken Magnussen, firstly to offer condolences and secondly to ask if he would like to have the seat instead.

‘Unfortunately, it turns out Ken was enormously relieved to hear JB had got the job,’ our mole revealed. ‘He doesn’t want to drive for McLaren either. So that option’s out the window. I think Jenson’s going to give Rubens Barrichello a try.’