“We started sleeping separately when I was pregnant with our first child. I would toss and turn and not get enough sleep, so on occasion I would sleep in the spare room,” said one 41-year-old woman from Brisbane, who did not wish to be identified for fear of being stigmatized in her social circle. She has been married 18 years and has two children with her husband, also 41. “Once I was pregnant with our second baby, one of us would sleep in the spare room to ensure we both got a good night’s sleep,” she said. “My husband’s snoring and blanket-hogging frustrated me when I was very tired and I would sometimes wake him up to tell him to stop, which of course he didn’t appreciate. It wasn’t until years later that it became more routine.”

Separate sleeping arrangements can include pairing side by side beds of similar size, having a smaller plus a larger bed in the room that the couple could share when they want to be intimate, or designating nights in a spare room. Separate bedrooms is another option.

Tina Cooper, 45, a licensed social worker who owns a home in Baltimore with her boyfriend of 10 years, Donald Smith, 63, also a social worker, prefers having her own room. “I’m a private person and need space,” she said. “Everyone I’ve ever dated knew that if we married I would want my own bedroom. If they tried to change my mind I knew he was not the one for me.”

Like many other couples who like having separate bedrooms, Ms. Cooper and Mr. Smith have opposite sleeping habits.

“I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird,” Ms. Cooper said. “I need soothing sounds to fall asleep to, he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, mine is soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, Donald gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”

Being open and honest with your partner about why you want to sleep separately is essential. “What’s equally as important to why you want to sleep apart is how you plan to ensure intimacy is retained in the relationship,” Ms. Adams said. “Making sure you have a routine and set times to connect is key, such as having breakfast together each morning or a drink together before bed at night, and welcoming each other into your room.”