I hate doing dishes. No matter what, I always end up with more dish water on myself than in the sink. It’s like a child using their face to eat chocolate cake but 100% less endearing. It’s mostly just damp. I think I just get overly enthusiastic with my dish washing movements, going for speed rather than quality of cleanliness. When I had horses, I’d give them baths and end up the wetter party. It’s a horrible trend, my relationship with water that cleans things.

So how can I avoid doing more and more dishes? Well, I could eat the dish.

Edible bowls are a creation only America could dream up. It’s one part laziness, one part gluttony, and just a touch of logic. A bread bowl is perhaps the most horrifying example of an edible vehicle for food, followed closely by salads in giant taco shells. There’s even a mold to make your own taco shell bowls at home if for any reason you’re so inclined to that often enough to warrant adding another gadget to your kitchen. People are fucking nuts for bowls they can eat.

The healthier option, of course, is vegetables made into bowls. You can stuff a bajillion vegetables with anything you want. People stuff eggplants, zucchinis, chilies, all to eventually stuff the whole damn thing in their mouths. Bell peppers are some of the easiest and most versatile things to stuff.

I’ve stuffed these bell peppers with a tasty mashed eggplant and black bean concoction. With some onions, garlic, spices, and some melted Daiya cheese slices, these little guys are stupid good. Plus, if you’re a psycho like me, you get to eat the discarded roasted eggplant skin with some ketchup while your bell pepper creation is baking. What can I say. I like to use every part of the vegetable/have the strangest eating habits of any one ever.

Now go have your bowl of mashed eggplant and black bean and eat it too!

EGGPLANT and BLACK BEAN STUFFED BELL PEPPERS

makes 4

ingredients:

an average, good sized eggplant

6 cloves of garlic: 4 cloves left whole, 2 cloves minced

1 cup of diced onion

¾ cup fresh salsa

1 cup of canned black beans, drained and rinsed

1½ teaspoons chili paste (optional – I just had within arm’s reach and it tastes good)

½ teaspoon chili powder

¼ teaspoon cayenne

¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes

¼ smoked paprika + more for sprinkling

salt to taste

4 bell peppers, stems and seeds removed and a bit of the tops cut out to make for a wider opening.

½ ounce of Daiya Havarti Style Wedge (the jalapeno + garlic one is as legit as fake cheese gets)

i’ve tried eating other bowls. it’s not gone well…

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Line a baking sheet with tin foil or parchment paper. Slice your eggplant in half lengthwise. Cut criss-crossed slashes (like argyle print? does that help?) in the flesh of the eggplant halves. Stuff the intersections with a clove of garlic. Spray the tops with a light mist of cooking spray. Bake, flesh side up, for 45 – 60 minutes. Allow it to cool. Once it’s handleable, pop out the cloves of garlic and scoop out the flesh of the eggplant. Leave the skin for a mid-cooking snackem. Toss the roasted garlic and scooped eggplant in a food processor. Puree for like 30 seconds or so.

Turn your oven down to 375.

In a medium pan, heat up some cooking spray over medium heat. Throw the onions in. Cook for a few minutes until the onions soften. Add the garlic and the red pepper flakes. Cook for 30 seconds or so and add the beans and salsa and cook a couple of minutes. Add the mashed up eggplant. Mix in the chili paste if you’re using it. Stir in the spices, adjusting to your own personal love of spiciness. Once the flavors are to your liking and everything is tasting fucking awesome, take it off the heat.

Fill each pepper half way. Stick a little layer of cheese in there (you don’t need much – a very thin slice will do) and fill completely with more of the eggplant mixture. Top each pepper with another thin slice of cheese. Sprinkle with some smoked paprika. Bake for 20 minutes or until the cheese is melty and you cannot stand waiting any longer. (Little tip: my bell peppers weren’t terribly level on the bottom so I baked them in a bread pan to protect them from falling over.)

NUTRITION

per pepper: 158 calories // 31g carbs // 1g fat // 7g protein // 10g fiber // 8g sugar

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