Two months ago three couples bravely spoke to Femail about their mismatched libidos, and how it affected their marriages.

While one partner claimed to be pretty much always in the mood, the other often felt pressured to have sex when they had little desire to do so.

So we gave the partners with lower libidos a challenge. For one month they agreed they’d make love every time their partner made an advance. Would it highlight cracks in their relationships — or bring them closer together? All three couples kept diaries for four weeks. Here’s what happened.

Scroll down for video

Stacey Powell (left), 39, and wife Vanessa, 45 (right), have been married for 12 years. While Stacey would like sex every night, Vanessa says juggling work and family has sapped her libido

Stacey Powell, 39, an architect, and wife Vanessa, 45, a receptionist, have been married for 12 years and live in Surrey with their two daughters. While Stacey would like sex every night, Vanessa says juggling work and family has sapped her libido, meaning she’s only in the mood a couple of times a month.

Sex Score:

Week 1: Twice

Week 2: Once

Week 3: Once

Week 4: Twice

Total: Six times.

Stacey says: I’m so excited at the prospect of being able to make love to my wife more often that, on the first night, even though I’m shattered after 12 hours at work, my heart is racing as we climb into bed at 10.30pm. Even more thrillingly, Vanessa actually makes the first move — I cannot remember the last time that happened.

I spend all the next day fantasising about what will happen later, but after a couple of glasses of wine we both collapse into bed and fall asleep. I’m too tired to mind. Sex is then off the agenda for a few days as it’s Vanessa’s ‘time of the month’ but then she actually asks if we can go to bed. You bet!

The next week doesn’t start well. I wake up in the mood when the alarm goes off at 6.30am, but Vanessa grumbles that she wants to go back to sleep as my snoring has been keeping her awake. It seems like we’re back to our old ways.

Stacey was really excited at the prospect of the experiment and being able to make love to his wife more often

The following evening I pick up a meal from Marks & Spencer, hoping a romantic dinner might relax Vanessa. Later, she’s happy to cuddle but while I try to initiate love-making she’s clearly tired and things don’t go any further.

A couple of days later we go to bed early, at Vanessa’s suggestion, ostensibly to watch TV, but a goodnight kiss turns into a passionate embrace, and we make love. The following night, Vanessa climbs into bed naked, and IS clearly ‘in the mood’ yet I feel too exhausted. Wow. This is the first time in our married life that I’ve turned her down.

It gives me an insight into how Vanessa must feel all those times I’ve been in the mood and she hasn’t.

Stacey thinks that keeping a diary has been great for the couple, putting sex at the forefronts of their minds and not allowing it to fall off the agenda

The next two nights Vanessa is out with friends. But on Saturday evening she comes back from a trip to London and tells me we’re definitely on for tonight. I don’t even have to ask — fantastic.

But, at the beginning of the third week, while pressing my shirt for work I somehow manage to catch my ‘manhood’ with the iron. A lesson never to iron before you’re fully dressed. I can’t even think about sex over the next couple of days — Vanessa appears relieved and amused in equal measure.

Three days later, we try again but unfortunately I’m still too sore. I suspect Vanessa is a little frustrated, and that feels great after years of pestering her for sex.

We finally make love a week after the iron incident. Abstinence seems to have boosted our sexual appetites, and two nights later, we’re at it again. Keeping a diary has been great for putting sex at the forefront of our minds and not allowing it to slip off our busy agendas.

Vanessa was surprised Stacey didn't take more advantage of the situation and was astonished one night when she propositioned him and he turned her down

I love feeling close to my wife and, best of all, knowing that she now actively wants to make love to me, rather than just doing it to appease me. It’s made us a lot more playful, too, which is great as it doesn’t always happen in a long-standing marriage.

Before we started, I imagined we’d make love more often. But this month hasn’t just been about the quantity, but also the quality of our lovemaking. If we can continue like this I’ll be a very happy man.

Vanessa says: I know there’s no way Stacey will pass up the opportunity on the first night — and I’m surprised it only lasts for 15 minutes. He was feeling tired.

We decide to give it another go the following night but, after a couple of drinks, sleep becomes a far more appealing prospect for both of us.

I’m surprised he’s not taking greater advantage of the situation. Perhaps our libidos aren’t as mismatched as I’ve always believed? But when I invite Stacey to join me in bed the next evening, his face lights up. Sex twice in one week is unheard of for us. The second week starts with me having a night away. Stacey is raring to go when I return. I’m tired but respond to his advances, because that’s what we’ve agreed, and to my surprise, I really enjoy it.

Vanessa feels like the experiment has really helped her and Stacey connect as a couple both physically and emotionally - reminding them that they're not just parents but also lovers

The following evening I’m feeling a bit frisky and wait for him in bed — naked. I’m astonished when Stacey rejects me. I feel a little hurt — but this is how he has felt the countless times I’ve rejected him.

We’re back on course by the end of the weekend. I seduce him in the living room by the light of the twinkling Christmas fairy lights. It’s very romantic.

The enforced five-day abstinence after Stacey’s iron accident leaves me looking forward to our next love-making, and it’s wonderful, really reminiscent of when we first fell in love. I think it’s because having sex more regularly has brought us closer together.

This has really helped us reconnect, both physically and emotionally, reminding us that we’re not just parents but also lovers. With all the demands of being a working mum it’s easy to lose sight of this, but I am determined not to allow sex to fall to the bottom of my ‘to-do list’ again.

Suddenly, I’ve lost the thrill of the chase!

Rebecca Morris-Jackson, 40, a legal secretary, and husband Paul, 35, a chef, live in Bromley, South-East London, with their two sons, Charlie, nine months, and Jack, 21 months. Rebecca would like sex every night while Paul is satisfied making love twice a week.

Sex Score:

Week 1: three times

Week 2: five times

Week 3: twice

Week 4: six times

Total: 16 times

Rebecca says: Our experiment doesn’t start well. While I spend the first day excited about the prospect of guaranteed sex, plans are ruined when Jack is awake from 10.30pm to 3am. Then I’m up with Charlie at 6.30am. The next evening I’m not sure I will have the energy — but I start caressing Paul and very quickly realise the answer is a resounding ‘Yes!’

Rebecca, 40, would like sex every night, while her husband Paul, 35, would be satisfied with making love just once a week

The following night, Paul looks resigned when I start kissing him, though he seems to enjoy himself afterwards. The night after that, realising he might take some persuading, I slip into a silky nightie that usually works.

It’s all very passionate, but I’m questioning whether it feels like a chore for my husband. At least when we make love normally I know it’s what he really wants.

He works so hard on Sundays — it’s one of the restaurant’s busiest days — that I let him off, then spend two nights on the sofa with Jack, who has tonsillitis.

But once Jack’s antibiotics kick in, I’m back in the marital bed. While many women would want to catch up on sleep, sex actually gives me energy, so we make love that night.

Rebecca says that while many women would want to catch up on their sleep after a busy week, sex gives her lots of energy

The following evening we entertain friends for dinner and I can’t wait to rip his clothes off afterwards. The following two nights I’m impatient for him to get home from work. I know he’s tired, but tell him love-making is a great way to unwind.

But not having to work to get Paul into bed feels really strange — I’m missing the challenge.

My period slows things down a bit in week three. Then I come home from work to a grumpy husband and I know that propositioning him may make things worse — but, after going without for so long, I’m willing to take the risk so I start kissing him. It pays off. The sex is very passionate.

As we enter the final week, I know I should feel happy that Paul can’t refuse my advances, but I’m realising our love life is not as exciting as it was — I miss the chase.

This experiment has made me realise how much I enjoy the excitement of not knowing whether Paul will or won’t succumb to my seduction techniques. Perhaps it wasn’t so bad before.

Entering the final week of the experiment Rebecca realises that she's missing the chase and her and Paul's love life isn't as exciting as it once was

Paul says: I haven’t been looking forward to this month. I always enjoy sex, but some nights I’d rather relax in front of the TV.

Of course I oblige, under the terms of our experiment, but after the first few nights I feel a bit like a performing seal.

To say I’m relieved when Rebecca doesn’t make any advances the following night is a huge understatement.

But when Bec has to stay up with Jack, I’m surprisingly disappointed not to be cuddling up with her in bed. Once Jack is better, Bec is back on form. It’s not easy getting in the mood on nights when all I want to do is sleep, and I even contemplate faking a headache.

When Bec tells me it’s her ‘time of the month’ the following week, I feel as happy as if she’d told me we’d won a Caribbean holiday.

While Paul really enjoys it once he gets going, he doesn't like feeling pressured into having sex, he feels like 'sex should be fun, not a chore'

Like most men, once I get going I really enjoy it but I don’t like feeling pressured and, with a demanding job and two babies, sleep is sometimes more appealing. Once she’s able to make love again I don’t give in too easily. Work has been challenging, and so are the children, so I’m not in a great mood when Bec starts whispering suggestive things in my ear.

However, I’m glad she made the first move because what follows proves to be a great stress-reliever.

All the same, I’m glad when I get to the final week. Not being able to say ‘No’ to sex is beginning to stress me out — I feel a loss of control not knowing when I’m going to be asked to perform.

It’s a relief when the challenge ends — sex should be fun, not a chore. Now I’m going to make her wait a whole week before making love to her again.

I was so upset that I cried myself to sleep

Paul Whitney, 36, runs a motor repair business by day and is a security officer by night. Wife Katie, 26, is a carer by day and waitress by night. Paul has three children from a previous relationship and the couple, from Bridlington, East Yorks, want a baby of their own but, due to their long working hours, they can go for weeks without making love.

Sex Score:

Week 1: twice

Week 2: once

Week 3: three times

Week 4: three times

Total: Nine times

Paul says: I plan to take full advantage of this challenge and when I proposition Katie on the first night it’s wonderful not being told ‘I’m too tired’.Then, on the fifth day I suggest an early night. But neither of our hearts is in it. It’s the sexual equivalent of painting-by-numbers and I realise just how monotonous our love-making has become. I struggle to fall asleep wondering if we’ll ever get the old feelings back? Katie obviously feels it too and we spend the following day texting each other, admitting that we’ve drifted apart.

Katie, 26, and Paul, 36 want a child of their own but due to their long working hours sometimes they go for weeks at a time without having sex

I move into the spare bedroom. We’re both very upset, wondering about the future.

But on the Friday night of the second week we meet up at the pub after work. We’re more relaxed, laughing together like when we first married, and I end up back in the marital bed. I don’t initiate sex, it’s just nice to feel close to Katie again.

Two nights later, as we’re sitting on the couch watching TV, I can’t resist leaning over and kissing Katie on the lips. I feel so happy when she kisses me back and we head upstairs. The sex is great, so much more loving and considerate than the last time.

At the start of the third week we share a bath before making love. This is real fun, unlike the purely functional sex we’ve got into the habit of — perhaps we’ve let trying to make a baby overshadow things.

We have a meal out with friends on Saturday evening and flirt with one another the whole time. It’s thrilling — it’s been ages since we enjoyed each other’s company so much. At the start our last week, Katie very sweetly has dinner ready for me when I get home from the garage so we have time in the bedroom before I have to head out to my evening job.

Katie and Paul are pictured here on their wedding day. At the start of the experiment Paul thought it could even be the end of their relationship but is very happy with how it's brought them closer as a couple

We spend Sunday afternoon watching a film in bed and Katie, who normally hates lounging around on her days off, is the one to instigate sex.

On the Tuesday night I’m in the mood again, but Katie seems to be deliberately ignoring me.

Instead of letting it fester, as it usually would, I tell her the following morning I felt she was giving me the cold shoulder. We bicker for a while as she insists she didn’t realise. But then, a couple of nights later, she more than makes up for it with a whole hour of passion.

This has been quite a journey for us. To begin with I thought this experiment might even herald the end of our marriage. But I love how close we’ve become.

I love Katie very much and, to me, sex is a really important way to show it, so it’s such a relief that it no longer feels like a chore for either of us.

Katie says: On the first night I consider refusing Paul’s advances because I’m tired but I’m glad I don’t — it’s lovely feeling close to him.

Katie feels that making time for sex has had a wider impact on the way she and Paul treat each other, even sending affectionate messages while at work

However, when we make love again a few days later I feel really sad. It feels like we’re doing it out of a sense of duty. Afterwards we just turn over in bed and go to sleep without a word.

I know we love each other but, somehow, this exercise has shone a light on all the faults in our marriage — and I’m not sure we’re going to be able to rescue it.

For the next few nights I cry myself to sleep, wondering how we could have allowed our marriage to disintegrate in this way. It makes me realise that what we have is worth saving and I’m so relieved when Paul climbs into bed beside me on Friday night.

We feel too emotionally raw for sex, but when we do make love two nights later it is really special. Afterwards we wrap our arms around each other and feel closer than we have in years.

The evening Paul gets into the bath with me and we find ourselves actually laughing while making love — I’d forgotten how great that is.

Katie has realised what a huge impact sex can have on Paul's mood, and the knock-on effect of ridding the tension between them

Making time for sex has a wider impact on the way we treat each other. We find ourselves texting affectionate messages while at work.

Things get even better in the final week. One night we’re like newlyweds, I literally chase him upstairs. Another evening I’m surprised to find I’m disappointed when Paul falls asleep rather than making a pass while sitting on the couch.

On the last night I’m getting dolled up to go out with girlfriends while Paul is getting ready for work. He mentions that it has been a few days since we last had sex and, instead of getting defensive as I used to, I lead him to the bedroom.

The couple feel that keeping the diaries has encouraged them to talk about sex more and has enable Katie to stop obsessively checking her most fertile days, making sex pleasurable again for both of them

It’s like an instant tonic, thawing the frosty atmosphere that sometimes comes between us.

I’ve realised what a huge impact sex has on Paul’s moods and the knock-on effect that tension has on communication between us.

Keeping the diaries has actually encouraged us to talk about sex — a lack of it used to be the elephant in the room. I’ve also stopped obsessively checking for my most fertile days, which has made sex pleasurable again, instead of all about baby-making.