

Download the MP3 | Watch the Video

A cold bidet, Sean agrees to get the band back together for Road Rage: Nashville, body building, female empowerment, and moms I wouldn’t like to fuck, penis knowledge is power and other forms of male dominance, a fat woman chews on a pen at the bank, Owen Benjamin plays piano for men and women and believes in the deep state, I believe all women, the Christmas season begins, Karl from “Who Are These Podcasts?” deconstructs The Best Debate in the Universe, I tell several tell comedy jokes and give Maddox a brilliant idea for his non-existent bonus episodes, Andy Warski calls in about Blaire White and the future of trolling, Dickels are back, fursecution is back, the Trumpkin hat is back, and the back of Sean’s love pillow is a crew neck; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Getting the band back together. It is perhaps man’s most noble calling. Above family, community, country, creed, and even creator, it is a Herculean task that tests all limits and temptation and patience, stretching across both time and lethargy in pursuit of the impossible: getting a handful of musicians to commit to absolutely anything–even something as simple as showing up. In this episode, Sean agrees to get the band back together for a mythical Road Rage: Nashville that has not yet been planned or even spoken about up until this point. I don’t know when it will be, but I am more excited about this reunion than I have ever been about anything else in my life. And we’ll be talking about it more, but first…

Comedian and huge pianist Owen Benjamin calls in to tell everyone how much taller he is than me, warn us of deep state comedy tours, talk about his conversion to Islam, play some musical commentary on sex differences, and discuss the dangers of believing all women. As far as I’m concerned, the best time to start believing all women was yesterday, but the second best time is today. A woman recently told me, open aluminum cans create poisonous toxins in tomato paste, so you have to throw them away immediately. I believe her. A woman once told me polar bears were created by Coca Cola to sell soda. There’s no need to look that up. I believe her. One out of three women claims to have contact with dead relatives. Of course, I believe them. Now more than ever it is important to believe all women. Otherwise, they will make up an avalanche of increasingly crazy shit until you are buried in it.

Check out Owen Benjamin’s YouTube channel for more or HugePianist.com to catch his stand-up specials.

Karl from “Who Are These Podcasts?” is next with a long-overdue apology from me for bumping him like five times after he subjected himself to a stomach-churning act of masochistic self-abuse for our entertainment: listening to the Paul Flart episode of Maddox’s “The Best Debate in the Universe”. As a professional podcast critic, Karl brings in a meticulous deconstruction of “The Best Debate” and why Maddox in general sucks the big, fat dick of failure. The short version is, Maddox stopped trying to be funny a long time ago. I guess destroying your career over an ex-girlfriend and being made fun of by the entire Internet

Finally, Andy Warski calls in about Blaire White, a self-proclaimed “based” self-proclaimed “woman” who appeared on Maddox’s show this week to debate the topic of authenticity on YouTube and, I assume, get some tips from “Heather S” on the benefits of pretending to be a woman online both for personal gain and for spite. I asked Blaire what she thought of Maddox’s lawsuit against me, Asterios, Patreon, free speech, and penises over two inches, and she had only this to say in response:

So it looks like that story will be developing more in the coming weeks. Here is Andy’s video on Blaire White titled, “The Fakest of Fakes”. I haven’t watched it yet, but you might enjoy it!



And now I must go. I’m on a mission from God.

“Little George Blew” by Todd Seidel.



“The Terms of Cervix” by Myroom Records.



Dick Pics



A thumbnail to celebrate the beginning of the Christmas season by HeHeSillyComics.

Comments

comments