JEDDAH, SAUDI ARABIA—Expressing trepidation about hosting WWE’s Super ShowDown event in light of countless human rights abuses perpetrated by the wrestling company’s divisive owner, Saudi Arabia was feeling skittish Friday about doing business with autocratic tyrant Vince McMahon. “There’s a lot of money to be made here, but it’s hard not to feel gross dealing with someone like Vince McMahon. We don’t really want to be affiliated with someone who has so ruthlessly hurt hundreds of people,” said Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, referring to McMahon as a “megalomaniac” who is completely out of touch with reality and who routinely betrays his most loyal followers. “Business is business, but there’s a lot of questionable behavior associated with the McMahon name, and we don’t want him to sully the name of Saudi Arabia. The whole family has been a human-rights disaster since his father Vince McMahon Sr. came to power. His treatment of women and ethnic minorities over the last four decades has been flat-out dehumanizing, and he never even tries to improve his organizations. He just keeps covering up his actions with lies and denials.” At press time, bin Salman said he was “seriously considering” backing out his deal with McMahon after watching a harrowing documentary about Bret Hart and the Montreal Screwjob.

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