Stop numbing your emotions to try to escape from anxiety — it will only push your iceberg further down, until buoyancy will make it shoot up like a rocket — and now you are faced with an Anxiety Attack.

I am an escapist — not the type that make money out of showmanship and drama — but a true emotional escapist. I numbed my emotions all my life — and I did all that I could to escape from them when they got too heavy.

The thing is with heaviness — it tends to adapt to your current level — and slowly but steady I painted myself into a corner.

Everything was too heavy all of a sudden. When I previously had been able to escape from my emotions eating sugar, I now blew up with anxiety AFTER that comforting escapism.

When I before could put my work aside in order to escape seeing some comedy on youtube, only to return 5 mins before I had to finish it, and rush through it, making it at the very last second — I now found myself not being able to even get moving to finish things when it was way past due.

The only thing I always stayed clear of, was alcohol, drugs, medication etc — somehow I just knew that the way I was constructed — it would absolutely destroy me to do so.

When everything came down around me, because of my absolutely devastating disruptive behavior three years ago — I had really no other choice than to take things head on — there was no silver bullet, there was only anxiety, fear and numbness.

I pretty much had to do everything differently a complete 180 — and it has taken three long, hard years — and I feel like I am still only beginning — but I am now so distant from my old self, that I can start seeing clearly what I was doing.

I was numbing my self in every way, shape or form that I could to escape from my own emotions.

And take it from someone who will spend the rest of my life making things right with my wife and my children — don’t do it — face your anxiety — face your fear — command control of your body and your emotions…

Its the only viable way of living…

Anything less — is waiting for life to come to you, and that will never happen.

Regards

The Recovering Emotional Escapist

🐞