Kavanaugh Against Roe because He Doesn’t Want His “Victims Aborting My Fucking Children”

Washington (The Plebian): Brett Kavanaugh has revealed the rationale behind his opinion on Roe VS Wade, The landmark decision legalizing abortion. Kavanaugh is against abortion because he doesn’t want his victims of sexual assault to be able to abort his children. “I worked very hard to impregnate those women,” said Mr. Kavanaugh. “Why should they be able to take all my hard work away.”

We asked Republican senators their thoughts on Mr. Kavanaugh’s statements. Lindsey Graham from South Carolina said that he was thinking of “aborting Mr. Kavanaugh’s nomination.” Pat Toomey from Pennsylvania simply responded, “shit.” Majority leader Mitch McConnell opted instead to crawl into his turtle shell instead of commenting on the matter.

On the other side of the isle Kamala Harris called the nomination, “typical men’s shit” and critcized the Plebian for her being the only women mentioned in this article.

The President was excited to hear about the remarks tweeting out, “thats why I picked him.”