If you've ever wanted to own a piece of wreckage from the Fyre Festival, you'll soon be able to. It's a Fyre sale. Quite literally! Quite literally.

The Manhattan US Attorney's Office will reportedly auction off merch from the festival to cover the damages Fyre's organisers owe to everyone they defrauded - a sum of about $26 million.

A spokesman for the United States Marshals sounded a bit like those middle-aged blokes who flog hooky Little Mix shirts outside somewhere like the Nottingham Arena when he explained what's going up for sale.

"We have an assortment of the ‘real thing’ Fyre Festival-branded tee-shirts, sweatpants, sweatshirts, hats, wristbands and medallions," he said. Presumably Billy McFarland got away with most of the Fyre-branded novelty glowing spinners before they could be impounded.



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The spokesman went on: "We know that there is tremendous interest in these items in the NY metro area in particular… Our objective always is to get the funds back to the victims as fast as we can, in cases where there are victims."

Shirts and jogging trousers and medallions all sound great, but surely there's got to be some more big-ticket memorabilia under the hammer...

The sandwich, obviously

@trev4president

Looked awful, but might have tasted alright. Obviously it's not going to be in great nick now, but knowing the precise combination and ratios of bread to cheese to lettuce would be useful for experimental archaeologists of the future looking to recreate how the Fyre festival really felt.

Billy McFarland's stress jetski

I've never been on a jetski, but if a quick razz around on one can make you forget your troubles when you're staring the blame for an international-standard shitshow right in the face, it can surely do wonders if you're fretting about how you're going to tell your partner that you tried to buy that nice hummus they like from Whole Foods but accidentally picked up taramasalata.

The tequila bar

Getting everyone tanked up while frantically trying to make the site look less like Sheffield post-nuke in Threads is arguably one of the more sensible decisions the organisers made. If you're having a similar flap ahead of a house party, keep your guests in the hallway and usher them toward your new tequila bar until you're ready.

A "modern, eco-friendly, geodesic dome"

Netflix

The repurposed hurricane relief tents which stood in for the yurts could do a decent job as a greenhouse, if your first-choice greenhouse has been compromised, or as a set for a low-budget space drama.

A sullied mattress

Use this - which you might recall comes from when some attendees decided they hated the idea of being near other human beings so much that they destroyed nearby tents and pissed on the mattresses inside - like the fatberg the Museum of London got hold of a couple of years ago. Put it in a glass case as an artefact of what happens when you put several hundred super-capitalists in a closed system and let the market sort them out.

A bottle of briefly impounded water

Netflix

Just to see if it was worth what Andy King was being asked to do. Probably won't be. But you'd like to know.

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