[2014 update: this is a very old, very silly article. PC gaming has changed a lot since then, as have my beliefs. Please don’t take it too seriously.]

I had originally considered a more moderate title for this post, but I thought a bit of tongue-in-cheek flame baiting might be fun. First, a bit of exposition: outside of the RTS genre, I’m a dyed-in-the-wool console gamer. PC elitists frequently scoff at console controls, the mouse and keyboard interface for shooters becoming a virtual sacred cow among those raised on Quake and Unreal Tournament. As someone who loves lively pointless debating, I’ve decided to strike back and offer my perspective on why console gaming is better than PC gaming.

#1: The Posture

To quote Bill Nye the Science Guy, consider the following:

Gamers and couches go together like zombies and shopping malls. Let’s face it, most sedentary relaxing activities take place on a couch. They’re comfortable for both sitting and lying down and it’s virtually impossible to get any work done while on one. Now contrast this with the following:

I dare anyone to try and play a PC shooter in anything but an upright sitting position. Call me lazy (true) and insult my posture (also true), but after working at a computer all day I have no interest in assuming the same position in my leisure time.

#2: The Controls

As any handyman will tell you, use the right tool for the job. Let’s face it, standard keyboards are not designed with gaming in mind. Moving with the WASD control scheme is at best like writing a novel with an oversized novelty pencil; you can do it, but it’s sub-optimal and there are better tools available.

Of course, what PC gamer gladly clamour about is the precision of mouse aiming. This is, of course, a strong point of contention in my mind. See, I like a bit of imprecision in my shooter games; it gives a game that run-and-gun, “relying on instinct” feel. The precision needed to headshot someone from half a mile away with a mouse is more akin to the later levels of Trauma Center: Under the Knife than to an actual firearm.

#3: The Cost / Technical Requirements

Gaming is an expensive hobby, just ask any PS3 owner (zing). However, this cost is compounded by the ridiculous system requirements of cutting edge PC games. To keep up requires frequent upgrades to your system. Ponying up $500 for a new video card to run Crysis on the lowest graphics setting is utterly inconceivable in my mind.

Furthermore, with the endless PC hardware permutations it’s often a toss up as to whether or not a game will run on your particular setup. If it doesn’t, you have hours of potentially fruitless forum reading / driver & patch downloading ahead. As a software engineering student, I’m a fairly technically minded guy, but even I prefer the convenience of coming home with a console game and knowing that it will work from the moment I put the disc in.

Conclusion

Before I loose this fairly inflammatory piece on the world, I’d like to emphasize its generally facetious nature and also make a few concessions. I’m well aware that PC gaming does many things spectacularly well. One could argue that most console games are ported over PC eventually, so the game selection is rather terrific (although lacking in Nintendo and platformers). While Xbox Live and Playstation Network are good and getting better, they’re years behind the online capabilities of PC games. The modding community is also especially top-notch, and having complete control over the platform you play on is definite boon. It’s that very control that, unfortunately, leads to gross inconvenience when things don’t work.

Ultimately, your choice of platform comes down to a cost-benefit analysis with your own particular values. As someone who appreciates convenience, comfort and cost over customization, processing power and control precision, I’m going to stick with console gaming. Snobbery is for jerks; either way you choose to game, game on!