SARASOTA, FL—Nervously watching as the suspicious man cheered on the team, the Baltimore Orioles told reporters Tuesday that they were creeped out by a fan who actually followed the ballclub to spring training. “This weirdo in an Orioles jacket has been hanging out around the facilities all week. Did this guy seriously bother to follow us all the way down here?” said first baseman Chris Davis, who claimed the whole team has been unnerved by the idea that some disturbed loner spent hundreds of dollars on travel and accommodations just to watch them play a few meaningless pre-season games. “He’s been here every day just sitting up in the stands. He even brought binoculars so he can watch the players warming up and doing drills on the other side of the field. What kind of creep does that? I hope he didn’t come all the way from Baltimore—this wouldn’t even be worth it if he lived in Florida.” At press time, the Orioles had requested security to remove the fan after he asked if there was any Orioles merchandise available for purchase.

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