Even though we seem to have come to a point where little is sacred, in some areas we’ve actually turned the “frankness level” down a bit. This may be because advertisers discovered that frank talk about body odors and other offenses make people squeamish and turn them off. Or that they discovered it’s more effective to tell people they can smell like a budding flower on a spring day just after a rain shower, than it is to tell them they stink.

I can’t believe that the problems articulated so bluntly in these ads, which range from 1934 to 1954, were more prevalent then than they are now. But you’d think the solution to almost all social problems back then was to simply purchase the right product. Click on any image for a larger version.



Some professionals believe the problems addressed by these products are not really what the advertisers would lead us to believe, and that special products are not necessary to “treat” them. But we buy the products and use them out of fear that we are, in fact, one of those people that has to guard against such offenses.

And there is no better way to instill fear than to associate our inadequacies with work success, social standing or a successful marriage. Seems bad breath or a dingy shirt can kill them all pretty quickly.

We’ve come so far in this sort of advertising that many modern ads say the exact same thing, only in a parody fashion which is suppose to be funny. Yet the message is still the same — chew this gum or use this cologne and you will get all those things you’ve been missing out on.

My favorite of the bunch is this one, for Lux laundry detergent. The poor woman has to watch as the gay neighbors pile in the car (complete with rumble seat — what fun) and take of on a merry adventure. Could it be her smelly under things? The P.S. to the ad? “Now Mrs. Hays has many friends in town…”

And what young gal wouldn’t be horrified by getting a Wall-Flower Valentine? In this case, the solution is a good cup of tea, which “peps” you up and keeps you perky. And God knows everyone prefers perky to slowpoke.

It’s one thing to have bad breath or some other problem, but if you have to break up a marriage I hope it wouldn’t be over something as trivial as the whiteness of a man’s shirt. Seems this poor woman is at wit’s end trying to rekindle the romance.

And what couple hasn’t had a knockdown “Don’t Speak to Me!” kind of fight over shabby-looking shoes worn to a party? This couple did. If only he had thought to buy Kiwi Boot Polish. He could have saved his marriage and his wife the humiliation of being seen with him.

And how about this poor guy who never knew why the girl he loved married another. Turn out it was mere halitosis (bad breath). When they gave it a medical name they really hit a nerve, I’m sure. The tagline? “Before any date….. Listerine Antiseptic.” You bet — there’s nothing like bad breath masked by the smell of Listerine Antiseptic to turn a gal on.

In this sequence, John forgets their anniversary because she smells bad. And, as we discover when she turns to Auntie, it’s because she’s been indifferent in not buying Lifebuoy Health Soap. One bar of sweet soap = one 2lb box of candy. Not a bad trade.

Don’t get me wrong — anything that boosts confidence is great in my book. So if you are a he without a she, or a she who gets no male, then maybe you should switch toothpastes or laundry soap. It’s worth a few extra pennies to have a happy life.

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