CALEDON, ON—For the last 34 years, Howard Barber of Caledon has made his living crafting life-sized, decorative wooden ducks.

"Oh, you'd be surprised how much work goes into each wooden duck," Barber explains. "It takes an awful lot of precision and craftsmanship to make each one. I go to painstaking trouble to make sure every tiny detail looks exactly like a real duck. Each bird will take me days of long, hard work."

Howard is well known in the wooden duck community for producing high-quality works of art.

"Oh, Howard makes the best wooden ducks around," says Barb Browne, Caledon resident and longtime wooden duck enthusiast. "They look just like the real thing. I've paid a pretty penny to get my hands on a few of those babies."

However, despite the long hours and artistry that go into each piece, Barber admits that he has never understood the reason for their appeal.

"Why do people buy these things?" Barber asks, incredulous. "Fucked if I know."

When pressed further, Barber offers some elaboration.

"Honestly, I just have absolutely no idea why anyone would buy a wooden duck," he muses as he sands down a brand new white-feathered drake. "First of all, they're like 400 bucks. Second of all, it's a duck, man. It just looks like a duck. I could understand why someone would shell out a few hundreds bucks for a nice painting. Or even a vase. But a duck carved out of wood? I don't get it. At all."

Despite his pretty fundamental concerns, Barber is content with his business, and has even begun thinking about expanding it.

"Sometimes I lie awake at night and think to myself, what other fake wooden animals would people pay me for? Maybe I'll start making some wooden squirrels. Or wooden raccoons. Why not? If these nutjobs will pay for a duck, sky's the limit, right?"