But for Gabrielle Drake, the belief that her brother had decided to take his own life has always been more consoling to her than the possibility that it was all a terrible mistake. "I can just see him now pouring a whole lot into his hands and taking them at one swallow, and thinking, 'What the hell, either I live or I die, but one way or the other something will change.' But I somehow don't believe the pills would have killed him if he hadn't taken some kind of interior decision to die. I think the life force is so strong that unless somewhere deep inside you, you really want to commit suicide, I don't believe you succeed."