I have a young face, if such a thing can be said to exist. When Mr. Spit and I were first married, me a child-like 22, people occasionally thought Mr. Spit was my father.

I am a bit sensitive to this. I know that people think I look young, it’s part of why I dress to look older than I am.

This year I finally bought some clothes that are age appropriate for me. This year I finally felt like I was the age I thought I should be. I was as old as I felt. I was good with this.

Until I got the email.

On Monday I spoke at BA World about business process improvement and process modeling, which are the areas I lead for my company. I am actually very good at what I do, and I am respected for my work. That’s not an subjective thing, it’s totally objective. I have experience and I’m good at it.

The email thanked me for the presentation, said that this person appreciated what I had to say, and then said “I find it hard to believe that you have such a wealth of knowledge, as you seem so young!”

I think it was supposed to be a compliment.

I know it left me feeling uneasy. I don’t quite know what to do with it. I have to send him some documents, so I need to answer, but I don’t know if I say “oh, not that young really, just good genes.” I don’t know if I thank him for the (supposed?) compliment, if I simply don’t say anything at all.

It seems too personal. Perhaps that’s part of what I object to. It seems like he remarked on my appearance and that crosses a line. I get that it was a compliment. I just didn’t like the compliment. I’m not sure if I felt that it called into question my abilities and the work that I have done, if it in some way diminished me. I don’t see what my purported age has to do with my qualifications anyway. Either I know what I’m talking about or I don’t. I have examples to back it up, or I don’t.

I know that I don’t feel like a kid anymore. I don’t feel old and weary, I feel like a woman who is mostly comfortable in her skin, quite comfortable with turning 35.

So, anyways. Not so young me isn’t impressed. As you can see below.