Goddess AU

Coco: *happily humming*

Velvet: *sighs deeply*

Coco: Geez, Velvs, what’s your problem? Shouldn’t you be happy? I mean, we both finally picked out champions.

Velvet: That. Thats problem actually.

Coco: I don’t understand. Are you not excited to have a champion?

Velvet: Do you know why I choose Yatsuhashi as my champion?

Coco: Nope.

Velvet: Because he’s brave warrior, strong willed, and pure hearted.

Coco: Those are really good reasons.

Velvet: I know. I chose carefully. Unlike you. Tell me, why did you decide to make Pyrrha your champion?

Coco: Because she’s obviously the best fighter of the Amazon tribes, and is also pure hearted and strong willed.

Velvet: Bullshit! You didn’t know any of that before you saw her! All you saw was her ass and immediately made her your champion!

Coco, awkwardly: W-what. Pffft, no I didn’t.

Velvet: Don’t lie to me! I saw how your eyes just immediately went to her rear as soon as you saw her!

Coco: Youre just seeing things! I was just staring at her red skirt. It looked cute.

Velvet: What color are her eyes then?

Coco: Eh?

Velvet: What color are Pyrrha’s eyes?

Coco: Uhm……well uh……geez, Velvet, I don’t know!

Velvet: Exactly! Cause you weren’t even staring at her eyes! You were too busy staring at her ass! Admit it!

Coco: Okay fine! I’m horny, Velvet! There, happy?!

Velvet: You shouldnt be picking your champion just because your horny for them!

Coco: THEN WHATS THE POINT OF EVEN GETTING A CHAMPION IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

Velvet: TO FIGHT IN YOUR HONOR!! WHAT ELSE FOR?!

Coco: Well yeah, but have you ever thought about rewarding your champion for fighting? Like, you know, in bed?

Velvet, sighing: Oh my God. I can’t believe you.

Coco: Oh don’t judge me! You deny how amazing her ass is! I actually choked on my spit when I first saw it! I was astounded!

Velvet: *sighing even deeper*

Coco: I knew the Amazons were beautiful and all, but they never told me about them being double cheeked up too.

Velvet: OKAY I GET IT! SHE HAS A NICE BUTT!

Coco: Thats an understatement. Do you know the face that launched a thousand ships? Well she has an add that can launched a thousand ships.

Velvet: JUST SHUT UP ALREADY, YOU DAMN PERV!

*meanwhile*

Pyrrha: I can’t actually believe that I’ve been chosen to be Goddess Coco’s champion. It’s such an honor.

Glynda, sighing: Huh uh.

Pyrrha: Whats wrong? You seem upset?

Glynda, sighing: Pyrrha…..do you know what the other gods and goddesses call Coco?

Pyrrha: Goddess of currency?

Glynda: No, that’s what we call her. Although people like her call her the ‘Ass Goddess’

Pyrrha: Errr…..I’m confused. Does she like, uh…own donkeys or something?





Glynda:………yeah, let’s go with that.