Ally Bank wants its customers to invent their own personal secret questions and answers; the idea is that an operator will read the question over the phone and listen for an answer. Ignoring for the moment the problem of the operator now knowing the question/answer pair, what are some good pairs? Some suggestions:

Q: Do you know why I think you’re so sexy?

A: Probably because you’re totally in love with me.

Q: Need any weed? Grass? Kind bud? Shrooms?

A: No thanks hippie, I’d just like to do some banking.

Q: The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men.

A: Go forth, and kill. Zardoz has spoken.

Q: What the hell is your fucking problem, sir?

A: This is completely inappropriate and I’d like to speak to your supervisor.

Q: I’ve been embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars from my employer, and I don’t care who knows it.

A: It’s a good thing they’re recording this call, because I’m going to have to report you.

Q: Are you really who you say you are?

A: No, I am a Russian identity thief.