"Woozle wozzle?"

On April 19, 1987, Fox aired the first of several animated shorts featuring a dysfunctional family of five.

Bart, Homer, Lisa, Marge and Maggie made their debut on "The Tracey Ullman Show" and would ultimately outlast the program. A Christmas special, the first official episode of "The Simpsons," aired in December of 1989. Since then, the show has chugged along for 27 full seasons — it's currently on its 28th — and pumped out more than 600 episodes.

Last year, we went over some of our favorite episodes.

This year, we scoured the internet for clips and GIFs of our favorite moments from the show, 30 in all. Full disclosure: We're a little biased toward the older stuff — pre-2000 — but even then, the final list is less than a third of what we brainstormed. Don't see your favorite quote? Sound off in the comments.

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Via Frinkiac

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

When Principal Skinner decides to issue mid-term student evaluations at Springfield Elementary School — "that way your parents won't have to wait until report card time to punish you," he tells the children — Ralph Wiggum finds out he isn't doing to well in his native tongue.

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YouTube video via getupkids026

"Alright, everybody tuck your pants into your socks."

As Homer grapples with the fact that he may finally have a co-worker he doesn't get along with, Bart's busy acquiring dilapidated factories during auctions.

When he checks in on his property one morning, he finds Milhouse — who he hired to work security — standing next to a pile of rubble. As they ponder the fate of the building’s rat population, the rodents flee to Moe’s Tavern, where the barkeep offers his patrons this sage advice.

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YouTube video via spete mans

"You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: Never try."

He’s got a point …

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YouTube video via Tom Beech

"He's right." "About the ox?" "About everything!"

Leave it to Ned Flanders to be the only resident of Springfield prepared for catastrophe when Bart discovers a comet hurdling toward the tiny burg. The Simpsons' friendly neighbor is booted out of his own bomb shelter after each of the town's residents clamber in, only to discover they'd need to eject one body in order to properly close the door.

In an effort to break the ice afterward, Moe suggests a game: Guess the barnyard animal noise. Tension grows from there and Homer tosses the correct answer out in a fit of rage as he joins Flanders outside.

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Image via GIPHY

"You watch too many movies, Sax!"

Poor Steve Sax.

All it took was one innocuous traffic stop for the Springfield Police Department to pin every unsolved murder in the city on the visiting major leaguer. As Chief Wiggum congratulates his subordinates on a job well done, Sax asks if he can call a lawyer.

It doesn't go well.

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YouTube video via Mostly Simpsons

"Mmm. Sacrilicious."

Of all the variations on one of Homer's signature catchphrases, this one's handily one of the best.

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YouTube video via GottiBoyz14

"Why did I have the bowl, Bart?"

Bart dupes his friend Milhouse fairly regularly in the show's early goings, which often makes for fantastic results.

In the season eight episode, "The Canine Mutiny," Bart scores a new dog, Laddie, when he applies for — and receives — a credit card and goes on a spending spree. Soon enough, repo men arrive to reclaim the $1,200 dog, which the Simpsons lad misidentifies as Santa's Little Helper.

When Milhouse remarks on how much more he likes Laddie than the Simpsons' old dog, he recounts the time Santa's Little Helper ate his goldfish, only for Bart to deny it. The exchange that follows is priceless.

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Via GIPHY

"... And as for your grandma -- she shouldn't have mouthed off like that!"

In "Homer the Vigilante," the Simpson patriarch takes it upon himself to lead a neighborhood watch when the police can't catch an elderly cat burglar.

Drunk with power, the vigilante group eventually begins to go too far, culminating in a scene where we hear Homer give the family this terrifying — but hilarious — anecdote over dinner.

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YouTube video via smotpoker81

"Well, if it isn't my good friend Mr. McGreg ..."

Dr. Nick Riviera may best be known for his friendly catchphrase — "Hi, everybody!" — but he's also pretty notorious for being a terrible doctor. (At least when he isn't saving Homer's life.)

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YouTube video via The Bootstrap MF

"But with him out of the picture, I was free to wallow in my own crapulence."

"The Simpsons" writers have a way with made-up words.

In "Who Shot Mr. Burns Part 2," the titular billionaire gives us this gem as he's describing feeling empowered to steal candy from a baby following a thwarted attempt by his assistant.

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YouTube video via sitsitsitonyou

"Let that be a lesson to the rest of you nuts!"

In "I Love Lisa," all Ralph Wiggum wants is advice in how to get the girl.

Not only does he learn how to crack that particular nut, but his father offers a lesson in food gathering as a bonus.

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Via GIPHY

"Man! That is flagrant false advertising!"

Poor Otto Mann.

(But even poorer Milhouse. This is from the episode where his parents get divorced.)

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YouTube video via ThingsICantFindOtherwise

"My question is about the budget, sir."

In season six's "Sideshow Bob Roberts," Krusty the Clown's former sidekick turned criminal finds a friendly political ally in Birch Barlow, "The Simpsons'" answer to conservative talk DJ Rush Limbaugh.

When Bob debates Mayor Quimby on primetime TV, Barlow lobs his hand-picked candidate a softball while painting the incumbent a gruesome picture filled with gags, hostages and blood that's supposedly about the budget.

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YouTube video via ThingsICantFindOtherwise

"I'm cured! I mean, ouch!"

The residents of Springfield are too often foiled by their poor vocabulary.

In season four's "Marge in Chains," the flu takes over the town, sending everyone into a frenzied panic for a cure. When Dr. Julius Hibbert tells them anything he'd prescribe would only be a placebo, the townspeople ransack a nearby truck hoping what's inside would cure what ails them.

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YouTube video via harvs45

"I call the big one Bitey."

"Marge Vs. the Monorail" is chock-full of great gags and quotes. And this one is one of the best.

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YouTube video via GottiBoyz14

"You don't get a gun until you tell me your name."

The Springfield Police Department has certain rules if you want to earn your badge and gun. (Moreso for the gun, thank goodness.)

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Via Frinkiac

"But you've been doing that an awful lot lately."

Marge is often the Simpson children's loudest cheerleader whenever they embark on a mission to right some major injustice in Springfield.

But every once in awhile — say, when Lisa wants to confront the sexist remarks her talking Malibu Stacy doll utters by taking her concerns to the manufacturer — the family matriarch offers a sharp quip before lending her support.

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YouTube video via ThingsICantFindOtherwise

"It's a perfectly cromulent word."

Here the "Simpsons" writers go again with the made-up words.

But nobody's really faulting them now. Since "Lisa the Iconoclast" aired, word nerds have fallen in love with "embiggen" and "cromulent."

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YouTube video via DangerZone

"Oh, I'll stay away from your son alright. Stay away -- FOREVER."

"That's no good."

Oh, Sideshow Bob. Always a tad too slow with the one-liners.

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YouTube video via Tina

"I call him Gamblor. And it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!"

When Marge develops a gambling problem in "$pringfield," Homer is left to look after the kids.

The results aren't great.

When Lisa's costume for the 50 states pageant turns into a hastily made dud, Homer envisions Marge's addiction as a literal monster.

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"... so technically, it's true."

Uh ...

Pretty sure that's not right, Mr. Muntz.

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YouTube video via UltraBoy94fsr

"I need the biggest seed bell you have."

As the robotic attractions at Itchy & Scratchy Land defy their human masters and plot to exterminate the park visitors, Marge bemoans the fact that the Simpson family rejected her original plan to visit the bird sanctuary.

As it turns out, things aren't so swell there. And the ever-unfortunate Hans Moleman is, of course, right in the thick of it.

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YouTube video via Mostly Simpsons

"He's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog."

If you think that's bad, the exchange gets worse.

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Via GIPHY

"Sit perfectly still. Only I may dance."

Bart finds fame when he accidentally knocks over an entire set at the "Krusty the Clown Show," prompting him to utter a catchphrase that takes off: "I didn't do it."

When he gets invited as a guest on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien," he's asked to scuttle a conversation about deforestation for his claim to fame. The show's theme song kicks in, which Conan begins dancing along with.

When Bart tries to join, well, you know what happens ...

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YouTube video via Dan Mohorter

The bee speech: "I can't live the button-down life like you."

Start the above clip from "Lisa's Rival" at the one-minute mark. It's a classic.

(Or watch the whole clip. It's all good.)

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YouTube video via Simpsonphile

"That is the worst name I've ever heard."

We've all been there.

You're asking a question "for a friend," hoping to get some advice without outing yourself — in Homer's case, as a man tempted by a new woman at work. But you know you've gone too far when the name you make up happens to belong to another person sitting at the same bar.

Poor Joey Joe-Joe.

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YouTube video via gligal2

"Marge, you know who I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car."

In "Homer the Heretic," the Simpsons and the community at their church try to find ways of urging the head of the family to go back to church after a torn pair of trousers sours him on the weekly ritual.

Just as it sounds as though Homer is comparing himself to a biblical figure, instead we find out it's a guy who used to drive a blue car.

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YouTube video via Malik Graves-Pryor

"In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

When the PTA disbands, the Simpson children are largely left to their own devices.

While Bart begins to descend slowly into madness, Lisa … also begins to descend into madness. Once Marge and Homer have enough, they rally the rest of Springfield’s parents into becoming temporary teachers while Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel argue over a new contract.

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YouTube video via y10566

"I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords."

Kent Brockman's newscast of the space shuttle launch that takes Homer into space is suddenly interrupted when the Simpson patriarch accidentally unleashes an experimental ant colony on board.

The image of a lone ant floating in front of the shuttle’s surveillance camera spooks the anchor, who prematurely offers his allegiance to an alien invasion that never quite materializes.

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YouTube video via Mostly Simpsons

"So long, dental plan!"

We saved the best for last. "Last Exit to Springfield" is a classic piece of television — and this is probably its most famous gag.

And it all starts the way so many twentysomethings begin the hunt for their first official job: At the episode’s outset, Homer has to decide between beer and a family dental plan. He goes with the latter as Marge’s assertion that Lisa needs braces overrides Lenny’s enthusiasm over the beer keg the union is offered in exchange for dropping the insurance policy.

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Via Frinkiac

Did we miss your favorite?

With more than 600 episodes in the can, there's no way we could have gotten to all of them. (Besides, we're sort of biased in favor of the first eight or so seasons, in case you couldn't tell.)

In fact, the list was more than 100 lines long to begin with.

Tell us some of your favorites and we might just share some of the jokes and gags that didn't make the cut. Now if you'll excuse us, we need to get back to that building thing where our computers and desks ... is.

-- Eder Campuzano | 503.221.4344

@edercampuzano

ecampuzano@oregonian.com