When the hiding became "too exhausting," Englewood Cliffs police Lt. James Tracy came out as gay to his police colleagues.

Tracy joined the Englewood Cliffs police department in 2002, but 10 years passed before he revealed his secret. It had become too difficult to keep hiding a part of himself.

“I told the person that I thought would be the most difficult first," Tracy said. "He was really accepting. If he hadn’t been, it probably would have changed everything for me.”

Tracy, 41, said coming out was a good decision for him. He received national recognition last year when he was honored by NBC News for creating the first New Jersey LBGTQ bias training program in 2016. As a result, his story was shared coast to coast and reached others in similar situations.

“I was getting calls from gay police officers all over the country saying things like ‘Hey, thanks for the publicity and getting us out there',” he said. “I did get the other side of that too, though," he said. "People were calling to tell me I’m going to hell and things like that. There are still people against it.”

It's not always easy to be a cop who is gay, but each step forward helps pave the way for a better future work environment, Tracy said.

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Well before Tracy ever put on the police uniform, Westwood police Officer Larry Schwartz helped pave the way for gay officers.

Schwartz, who Tracy calls a “pioneer,” first joined the force in 1982 and didn't come out to colleagues until a decade later. It was a different time and he felt he couldn't come out until he first established a reputation as a good cop.

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“My tight group of friends knew, but I didn’t come out at the department until the early ‘90s,” Schwartz said. “Once I came out they called me into the office and asked if they did anything wrong. I told them ‘well yeah’ but at that time it was commonplace to make silly comments that are not acceptable now.”

After he came out, Schwartz said his colleagues were welcoming. Since, he's had opportunities to speak to students at local colleges and be active in the LGBTQ community.

Schwartz recommends other gay cops get involved and take the time to find peers and seek help if there are issues.

The road for officers who come out as gay to colleagues has not always been smooth. Even for those with positive experiences, there are some "bumps."

Glen Rock police Officer Matt Stanislao sued his department in 2014, alleging he was harassed by other officers who made derogatory comments and lewd gestures because he's gay.

And in Palisades Park, former officer Robert DeVito is suing the department and alleges he was fired because he is gay.

DeVito said many people in the department were welcoming, but there were also many “off-color” jokes made.

Tracy uses his experience to help those in the law enforcement field be more understanding and accepting of the LGBTQ community. His work on the Bergen County LGBT Advisory Committee and his contributions to the police academy curriculum provide insight for officers not familiar with issues and struggles of the LGBTQ community.

“It’s part of the educational program because people might not consider themselves homophobic or racist, but have underlying patterns that are,” Tracy said. “This is a way to teach about that, about things like language and even pronouns so that people can be more accepting.”

Acceptance is also Stanislao's mission.

Glen Rock, forced to face tolerance issues as a result of his lawsuit, has become more tolerant, Stanislao said.

Stanislao said he knows there is a long way to go before total acceptance is achieved, and offered some ideas on how to get there.

“We need to stop ignoring the issues in our communities and learn to support each other,” he said. “All of our smaller communities intersect and we need to work to keep tying things together so that we can coexist just fine.”

Email: sobko@northjersey.com; Twitter: @katesobko