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What He Should Be Known For:

Aside from wanting to have a place in our hearts forever, Winchell was also interested in medicine and inventing shit. Among his patents were a flameless cigarette lighter, battery-heated gloves and an invisible garter.



Pictured: Genius.

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The most famous design he had, however, wasn't for recreational purposes but for being alive purposes: The man designed the first artificial heart. With the help of Dr. Henry Heimlich--of "thank you for giving men a reason to grope women while masking it as a life-saving technique" fame--the two invented the device, and were the very first to acquire a patent for it. A Dr. Jarvik came out with a heart shortly thereafter but, of course, Winchell already had the patent. Jarvik denies that his design was influenced in any way by the voice actor's patent, but Dr. Heimlich maintains that both hearts are exactly the same, thus making Jarvik's claim utterly "ridicarus," as Tigger might say, or "bullshit," as Winchell might.



"Artificial-heart-patenting is what Winchell's do best."

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Be sure to check out Fitzgerald's friend Thad over at CallMeThad

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