Sue Lister responds to Elena Ferrante’s column on whether there is a formula for a lasting marriage

The three things that you need to make a relationship work

As I will have been married for 48 years next month, I was interested to read Elena Ferrante’s piece (Is there a formula for a lasting relationship? A friend, married for 48 years, says so, Weekend, 22 September). However, I didn’t recognise any of her friend’s formula in my happy relationship.

There are three things you need to make a relationship work. You have to: (1) like each other (passion is not enough, you need to enjoy each other’s company); (2) respect each other’s views and values (and having similar ones means less argument but more respect); and, most importantly, (3) have the same sense of humour (when life hits rock bottom, and it will, you’ll need to laugh).

And as my husband maintains that we both have the ability to laugh at him, all is well.

Sue Lister

Whitnash, Warwickshire

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