Just yesterday, Bryce Harper managed to leap 55 inches -- or the height of the average 10-year-old boy -- into the air and land on a box. Naturally, we likened him to Superman. It was a historic achievement, the likes of which we might not see again for--

Wait a minute, is that Steven Souza's music?!

Decades from now, when baseball historians look back across the smoldering wreckage of outfield walls it has wrought, this will be known as the opening salvo of the Great Box Jump Race. Although hopefully this means that Souza will be able to clear the dining area entirely next time: