The Bachelorette, Reviewed by a Guy. Sorta.

Welcome back to I'm Not Here To Make Friends, where a guy reviews a show in which several people humiliate themselves on national television for the chance to win the hand of a woman who was such marriage material that she came in second place on a television show where you get picked to get married based on dates where you go to things like electronic dance music marathons and in other moments see if you can not get drunk enough to embarrass yourself or your entire family. That's literally the bar. Take that in for a second.

If you're looking to revisit the Juan Pablo season, it's all down below at a big white link.

If you're looking to read recaps of episodes of The Bachelorette in a season where the main character has the name JoJo (two capital J's, separate places, which is pretty much the most giant red flag on the planet), then you've come to the right place.

Click the recaps tab up top, pick an episode and get lost in the cruelty.