There are plenty of reasons, at this time of year, to hate a Christmas song: You can hate an annoying chorus, despise a celebrity crooner, or just resent the way a tune sticks in your head hours after you heard it at Nordstrom Rack. Or, in the case of the most despicable holiday song of all, you can just read the lyrics. I’m talking, of course, about “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” that annual blight on this season of joy.

If you were under the illusion that Rudolph was an unobjectionable component of December, you are in good company. The tale of Santa’s plucky little fog navigator is a staple of school holiday pageants everywhere, and its easy to see why: Sufficiently secular that it won’t get anyone in trouble, sufficiently simple that the kindergarteners can remember it on stage, the song is cast as an inspiring tale for youngsters, a story about how even the lonely and the left out are part of Christmas’ magic.

Unfortunately, this is not at all what the lyrics actually teach.

Let’s review. There’s this little reindeer with a deformity. We have no evidence that this deformity actually keeps him from his reindeer duties: He has a red, glowing nose. Big deal! It’s not like he has a torn ACL that might limit his flying-sleigh-pulling abilities. At any rate, because of this deformity, the other reindeer laugh, call him names, and bar him from their all-important games, effectively ostracizing him just because he looks funny.

Then, on December 24, the fog rolls in. Santa and the in-crowd are stranded. Without so much as an apology, Rudolph is asked to guide the sleigh. (Or perhaps he isn’t asked: The lyrics specify that Santa “came to say” that Rudolph could guide his sled—I’m guessing no one even inquired as to whether he had other holiday plans.) Despite the repeated snubs and the impolite request, Rudolph demonstrates his utility in brilliant form. At which point all the reindeer decide that they love him. Notice that they still don’t apologize.