Magic Story Abridged: Limited Time Offer

(Episode 7; Battle for Zendikar Episode 1; Original Stories HERE and HERE )



When Gideon Jura wields his swift sural

All those who chose to oppose his sural fall

When there’s crime to thwart or a war to fight

You can count on the man who is mono-white

When Gideon Jura wields his swift sural.





Art by Dan Scott



PRESENT DAY

ZENDIKAR

(We open on Kytheon Iora, now a man, fighting a number of Eldrazi spawn. In the background, a group of Kor, Humans, Elves, and Goblins watch patiently.)

Munda, a large, muscular Kor: (Quietly, to the others in his group) …Here we see a wild Gideon Jura, latin name Kytheon Iora, taking down its prey. Though the beasts are larger and more powerful than he, his glowing golden aura protects him from all known forms of attack. His Sural, also known as an Urumi or Whip-Blade, can cut through the flesh of even the toughest of Eldrazi, though it may take many such blows to cause one to fall. Though Eldrazi meat is inedible, this kill with give the Gideon great renown. If the hunt is successful, he will not have difficulty finding a mate this season.

Kytheon, now going by Gideon full time: (Calling over) I know you’re there, Munda! Are you going to lend a hand or not?

Munda: You’re doing fine, bro! They can’t even scratch you!

Gideon: I’d still like to finish up sometime today!

Munda: Fine, fine! Everyone, attack!

(Munda and his party help Gideon dispatch the Eldrazi.)

Gideon: Really wished you’d shown up earlier. I’ve been fighting those things for hours. Literally hours.

Munda: Sorry, bro, but we just came from our own fights. Bala Ged’s overrun. Gone the way of Sejiri. Everyone’s running to Sea Gate, but who knows if we can hold that.

Gideon: Sea Gate… Right… I’ll meet you there. Right now I need to… go place.

Munda: You need to sleep. Maybe have something to eat. You look exhausted.

Gideon: Can’t. Gotta be at work in an hour.

Munda: What work? We’re in an apocalyptic situation and all society in that general direction has collapsed.

Gideon: Well, the thing about that is THERE’S A BALOTH BEHIND YOU!

Munda: Wha-

(Gideon planeswalks away.)





Art by Richard Wright



THE MILLENNIAL

RAVNICA

(Gideon bursts into the Millennial, one of the finest, most expensive restaurants in the entire city-plane of Ravnica. He’s still covered in dirt and Eldrazi ichor.)

Maitre’d: Sir, you can’t just-

Gideon: (Flashes a badge) Official Boros business, stand aside, civilian.

(Gideon marches up to a table full of finely dressed goblins)

Krenko, the devilishly handsome goblin leader in a homemade crown: Can I help you, officer?

Gideon: You’re under arrest for arson and six counts of murder… And that’s just today.

Krenko: Sorry, officer, but this crown means I don’t have to listen to you.

Gideon: And why is that?

Krenko: Because it’s made of knives.

Gideon: (Sigh)





Art by Richard Wright



A BOROS GARRISON

RAVNICA

Dars, a real, actual Boros Soldier: Great work as always, Jura!

Gideon: (heavy breathing) Thanks. I try.

Krenko, in cuffs, covered in blood: Seemed a bit unprofessional if you ask me.

Dars: We don’t. You’re going straight into lockup… After medical care, of course.

Gideon: He’s fine… The blood’s mine.

Dars: Aren’t you invincible?

Gideon: I’d thought so…

Dars: Then how…

Gideon: Krenko must’ve been tougher than the other criminals I’ve fought… and the Eldrazi… and that vampire… and the pyromancer… and the titan… and Erebos, God of the Dead.

Dars: He must be as powerful as he is handsome.

Gideon: He is very handsome.





(STRANGE OBJECT THROWN THROUGH THE WINDOW!)

Dars: IT’S A BOMB!

Gideon: It’s a letter.

Dars: A letter bomb?

Gideon: It’s from Rikkig and Gardagig, two of the Shattergang goblins. They want us to hand over Krenko for murdering their brother, or… then the bomb.

Dars: Why do these goblins insist on killing each other?

Krenko: Well, when we kill non-goblins, your pink asses call us racist.

Gideon: …I’ll go deal with them. As soon as I run some errands first.





Art by Vincent Proce



ZENDIKAR

(Gideon fights some Eldrazi on Zendikar. Munda’s there, too. And a random sorceress who shoots lightning bolts.)

Munda: Hey, Gideon, buddy, pal, bro… Remember when I said everyone was running to Sea Gate?

Gideon: Yes…

Munda: Turns out that includes the Eldrazi.

Gideon: Well, slith. On my way. After goblins.





Art by Michael Komarck



RAVNICA

(Gideon busts down the door to a warehouse)

Gideon: It’s over, Rikkig! I already captured your brother offscreen!

Rikkig’s voice, from somewhere inside the building: Didn’t bring Krenko, huh? And here I was going to exchange my hostages for yours.

(Light goes on in back, revealing a group of old women, children, and kittens tied up.)

Gideon: I can’t just hand over a prisoner! He’s been lawfully arrested, just like you’ll be!

(Rikkig steps out, wearing twelve layers of padding, a helmet, and goggles)

Rikkig: Well, if you don’t have a Krenko for me, I still have something for you.

(Rikkig throws a bomb)

(Things explode)

(Rikkig is padded. Gideon is indestructible. The hostages scream. The building begins burning and collapsing.)

Gideon: Damn damn damn!

(Gideon rushes to save the hostages. There’s a lot of them. He can only carry a few at a time. The building continues to burn.)

Dars: NEVER FEAR! THE BOROS LEGION IS HERE!

(Boros rush the building, rescue hostages, put out the fire. Rikkig escapes.)

Gideon: How did you get here so fast?

Dars: Followed you. You seemed like you were biting off a bit more than you can chew.

Gideon: I can handle it myself:

Dars: No. No, you can’t. We’re a Legion. We use tactics and teamwork so screw ups like this don’t happen. We’re going to go send a bunch of guys to catch that one goblin, and you’re going to sleep.

Gideon: But if I do that, who’s going to fight the giant monsters?

Dars: What?

Gideon: Bye. (Gideon planeswalks away.)





Art by Nic Klein



Art by Igor Kieryluk



SEA GATE, A BIG DAM CITY

ZENDIKAR

(ALL THE ELDRAZI ATTACK THE CITY! Hundreds of Eldrazi. Thousands of Eldrazi. Millions and billions and… okay, maybe not that many. In the center: Gideon, indestructible and kicking ass.)

Gideon: I don’t care how many of you I have to kill! I can do this all day! I haven’t slept in a week and I’m not about to start now!

Jori En, a mermaid who is evenly distributed human and fish: HELP! HELP!

(Gideon bursts into a burning building, scoops up the mermaid, and runs off as it collapses behind them)

Gideon: Why didn’t you evacuate with the others?

Jori En: My friend Kendrin and I were checking for records about the Hedrons! She almost figured out what they do and how they’re supposed to stop the Eldrazi!

Gideon: That’s wonderful! Where is she?

Jori En: Uhh… In that building.

Gideon: Oh.

Jori En: Yeah…

Gideon: So…

Jori En: But I have all her notes! Unfortunately, she was a complete nerd and I don’t understand any of them.

Gideon: …. Go. Run. Get to safety. I’ll catch up with you as soon as I can.

Jori En: You have a plan?

Gideon: I have a nerd.





Art by Adam Paquette



JACE’S SANCTUM

RAVNICA

(We cut to Jace Beleren, a blue cloak with a wizard inside it. With him is Lavinia, his assistant and bodyguard.)

Lavinia: That was your last meeting for today. Time to have a healthy dinner, and then get to bed early.

Jace Beleren: Or I’ll fill myself with coffee and stay up until three in the morning solving Sudoku. Sudokus? Sudoki.

Lavinia: You’re going to be grouchy all day tomorrow if you do that.

Jace: You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not my mom. I think. I honestly don’t remember.

Lavinia: I distinctly remember not being your mother.

Jace: Then I’ll see you at work first thing in the morning!

Lavinia: …Of course. Goodnight, Jace. (Lavinia heads off)

(Jace starts to fetch his coffee when… there’s a knock on the bookshelf)

Jace: WHO IS- … wait. Who even knows about my secret passage? (Jace magically opens the bookshelf from a distance, preparing for trouble)

Liliana Vess, hasn’t aged a day in years: Jace! Snookums! (Walks right in.)

Jace: No.

Liliana: How are you, dear! I’ve missed you! You never showed for our last date!

Jace: That’s probably because you tried to kill me.

Liliana: Oh, pish posh. That was on Nicol Bolas’ orders. I’m freelance now.

Jace: You killed my best friend.

Liliana: And I killed my brother. This isn’t a competition, you know.

Jace: What do you want?

Liliana: I missed you! Can’t a girl visit her lover without getting the third degree?

Jace: (incredulous) You came all the way to Ravnica, presumably went to a lot of effort to find my secret passage, and showed up here unannounced because you missed me?

Liliana: I thought we could catch up. Spend some time together. Talk about our feelings.

Jace: You’re a murderer and a liar, and that’s not even bringing up that you managed to turn Garruk into some sort of superpowered psychopath hunting ‘the most dangerous game’ from plane to plane.

Liliana: Yeah, that was fun.

Jace: Go away.

Liliana: Take me to dinner.

Jace: …You’re not leaving if I don’t play along, are you?

Liliana: I am not.

Jace: Fine.





Art by Dave Kendall



(Jace and Liliana start walking down the street)

Little Old Lady: Sir! Buy a flower for your girlfriend?

Jace: She’s not my girlfriend! She’s some sort of insufferable hell-witch who refuses to leave me alone for arcane purposes she won’t tell me about.

Little Old Lady: Oh, of course! Buy a flower for your wife?

Jace: Grrrrrrrrrr…..





THE MILLENNIAL

RAVNICA

Maitre’d: Please forgive the mess, Sir Guildpact. We had an incident the other day… Of course, we’ll make sure it doesn’t inconvenience you. (He shows Jace and Liliana to a table)

Jace: It’s fine, it’s fine. Just… It’s fine.

Liliana: That Guildpact title is useful. How is it being grand high king of Ravnica?

Jace: I’m not the King. I’m just a grand high Judge. I uphold the law. I don’t create it.

Liliana: Well, that sounds positively boring. You should become king. I’m sure you could pull it off.

Jace: I really don’t want to be king… And speaking of what I want, what do you want?

Liliana: The lobster looks positively-

Jace: I meant with me. Why are you making me take you out to dinner?

Liliana: Because I wanted to see you. Why would you think there was anything else? Do you think I can’t handle my demons on my own?

Jace: They are four particularly large-

Liliana: Two. I already killed Kothophed and Griselbrand. With the Chain Veil. It’s a wonderful artifact that grants ultimate power that is working out great for everybody involved.

Jace: Uh…huh.

Liliana: It certainly doesn’t have some sort of magical hooks in me that I need help understanding.

Jace: Of course not.

Liliana: And I’ll be perfectly fine studying it on my own.

Jace: Great.

Liliana: I can handle this.

Jace: Good to know. So you just want to sit with me and eat dinner?

Liliana: Yes.

Jace: And nothing else?

Liliana: Why? What are you implying.

Maitre’d: (at the entrance) SIR! NO! NOT AGAIN!

Jace: Hmm?





Art by David Rapoza



Gideon Jura, covered in Eldrazi goop: Need to see the Guildpact.

Maitre’d: Sir, you are covered in I don’t know what! We can’t afford another-

Gideon: Zendikar! It’s about Zendikar!

Jace: (softly) Damn it. (loudly) Send him in!

Maitre’d: Oh, all right…

Gideon: (staggers in) Beleren. Zendikar.

Jace: I’m sort of in the middle of something right now. What do you want?

Liliana: Right, he’s on a date! Go away!

Gideon: (Deep breath) Zendikar is being overrun by the Eldrazi, and we have notes on how the Hedrons might be able to stop them, but I need help from someone with skills I don’t have. Will you please help me?

Jace: … Say that last part again?

Gideon: …Will you please help me?

Jace: You know what? Sure!

Gideon: Great, we can leave right-

Jace: In the morning. I need to have a healthy dinner and get to bed on time or I’ll be grouchy all day, and you need to get to a healer and rest as well. That’s the offer, take it or leave it.

Gideon: I… alright. Thank you.

Liliana: What the falkenrath, Jace? Here I come, all the way from Innistrad, with my magical artifact and two demons left to kill, and you’re willing to just run off with this oversized slab of beef with barely any explanation?

Jace: Is that a problem?

Liliana: Of course it’s a problem! You were supposed to come and help me!

Jace: Really? Huh. You should’ve said something.





