Cover art image courtesy of Croatia Today Magazine

Recently I was lucky enough to volunteer at my son’s school book fair. He’s in Kindergarten now, and about to turn 6 years old. It was his first real book fair, as opposed to the flimsy scholastic book order forms that get sent home with too little notice, then immediately get lost on the kitchen counter.

I showed up on an early morning, strapped on my 6-month-old daughter, and awkwardly asked the more veteran mommy volunteers what I was supposed to be doing. I was too new to work the cash register, and there were only a few kids wandering around that early.

So, while straightening shelves and waiting for the next batch of kids to arrive with their Ziploc baggies full of money, I familiarized myself with some of the offerings. The book fair was broken up into sections by age/grade level, and by reading level. In the Kindergarten/early reader book section, I found a book called How to Get a Girlfriend.

At first, my eyes passed right over it, thanks to the hand drawn child’s doodle on the cover. Then, on a second pass, I actually read the cover. I had been looking for books that would inspire my son to strengthen his story-telling skills, an area of opportunity for him according to his speech therapist. Upon looking at this book cover, I went pretty quickly from feeling intrigued to horrified.

How to Get a Girlfriend is a how-to guide written and illustrated by a group of Kindergarteners. At first I thought, “this must be a silly joke — a take on girlfriends and boyfriends written by kids.” Oh, how wrong I was.

Right off the bat, How to Get a Girlfriend is 100% a guide written by boys, telling other boys what they need to do to get a girlfriend. Very specifically, step by step, with a call-out that the instructions are both for “grownups, and kids.” Examples include:

-“First, find a girl who you like. She has to be nice – it doesn’t matter what she looks like.”

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-“Play with the girl a lot, and hug her.”

-“Give her toys, and flowers.”

-“Do a writing workshop* so you can write her a letter of love.”

Image courtesy of @SHFarnsworth

-“It’s fun to have a girlfriend, because you can do lots of things with her and you can play with her.”

I won’t spoil the rest of the tips How to Get a Girlfriend offers, but I can tell you that I was completely thrown off by the fact that this book even exists. Here’s why: Kindergarteners are typically 5-6 years old. You know what 5-6 year old children don’t need to read about or be taught? They don’t need to be taught how males can obtain female dating partners.