Chapter 27.

It's been a little more than a week since that horrid day when I fought the ice monster, though to me it feels like less since it took me three full days to wake up after I passed out during the fight. And I've never felt weaker, or more defeated. At least, not that I remember.

Currently I'm finishing eating lunch, which consisted solely of some tea, cheese and a small piece of bread.

Ever since I woke up, Anna has ordered Gerda to tend to my every need, including stuffing me to the brim at every meal, in hopes that eating extra food will be able to improve my health. But no. I simply don't want to eat. I don't even feel like I have the energy to do so. My thoughts keep returning to the fight, and to what I remembered after.

Tyra. I still don't have all my memories of her back; I'm pretty sure of that. But I have no doubt she was the one who dethroned me. As Hans' girlfriend she had plenty of opportunity, she's as powerful as I am and far more skilled in combat. Most importantly, she clearly despised me and my views, and if killing me meant getting her revenge, she'd have done it without hesitation. She even said so herself! But… now that I know it was her, what use is it to me?

I doubt I'd be able to stand a chance against her, even now that I'm older and have better control of my magic. And honestly? I don't see the point in trying. Not only because I fear for my life and Anna's, but because I wonder if the Northerners even want me back as their Queen. After all, if even Helen wanted revenge on Arendelle, what would the others say? That I was a coward? That I lied to them about the strength of my powers? That I'm a traitor for working, and entering into a relationship, with the enemy?

Maybe I'm all of those things and more. Maybe I didn't ever deserve to be Queen. Maybe I wasn't the best person to understand the needs and demands of the people. Maybe I should just stay in Arendelle and hope Tyra won't attack. Or just run away with Anna and hide where our problems can't find us. I'm tired of this; of this unforgiving world. I'm tired of all the judgmental people that only desire war and revenge. I wish I could just stay in this bed forever.

In that moment the door to my room opens, and I turn expecting to see Gerda coming to collect the dirty dishes. Instead, I find Anna. I give her a little smile as she comes to sit next to me on the bed, a concerned expression in her eyes; one that hasn't left her since I woke up.

"Hey." I say as greeting, doing my best to sound more energetic than I feel.

"How are you feeling?" She asks, frowning. Apparently, she didn't buy my act even a little bit.

"Better." I shrug. And it's the truth; physically I'm steadily improving, but my emotional state is still less than ideal.

"Really?" She shoots me a skeptical glare, and I have to fight the urge to flinch.

"Yes, Anna, really. No evil Tyrant is going to defeat me so easily." I try to make a pun (a bad one, I admit), but even as the words leave my mouth, I remember all the memories I recovered about her and feel a little twist in my stomach.

"Well, she came dangerously close." She stated, giving me an exasperated look. And honestly, I can't really blame her. I barely talked to her about what happened that night, or about the memories I've been recovering, or the current state of my magic, or… anything, really. I've been perhaps a bit too quiet the last few days. But I don't feel like changing that.

"But she didn't succeed." Is all I finally manage to say. Anna just sighs and gets up from the bed.

"Alright. Today I'm taking the day off, and we're going to spend some time in the gardens." She says, crossing her arms over her chest and wearing a strict look on her face.

"Do you think that's a good idea? I'm still not feeling well." I practically whine, not wanting to even get out the bed. I just wish to lay down and stare at the ceiling like I've been doing for the past few days.

"The doctor said some fresh air would be good for you." Anna answers. "Now get up, and if you're not ready in fifteen minutes, I'm going to dress you myself." And giving me a rather strict expression, she exits the room.

I briefly consider disobeying. I mean, what can Anna do to make me get off bed, really? If I pretend I'm sick enough she'll probably give up in the end. But… I really don't feel like arguing with her, and spending some time in the gardens doesn't sound that bad. Okay, I'll go. For Anna's sake.

After I've dressed in the simplest and comfiest dress possible, I join Anna in the gardens. The walk there wasn't really that bad, but my headache seemed to get a little bit worse because of the effort. Thankfully, just as I'm starting to regret my decision, the Queen appears and gives me her arm to take. I do just that and promptly we start strolling through the green scenery as Anna rambles about the many adventures she's had in that place and about which plants she likes best.

The view is pretty enough; bright green and well-trimmed grass, bushes of roses (though without flowers) delineating the brick road, and in the distance great trees, some even blooming with flowers or sporting fruits.

However, I soon discover I'm not exactly enjoying myself. The sun is too bright, almost blinding me and making me scrunch my eyes in discomfort. The heat doesn't help either, and soon enough I start sweating profusely. My legs start to hurt after a few minutes of walking and I find the scent of the flowers to be suffocating rather than pleasant. Thankfully, Anna seems to notice all of this despite me not saying a thing, and quickly suggests we go sit next to a pond and feed the ducks.

Thankfully, there's a tall tree near the pond, so it's shadow gives me some much needed protection from the sun's blazing light, though still not enough to stop my headache completely. But I put on a smile and try to pay attention to what Anna is saying as she introduces me to all the ducks. How she remembers their names and knows which one is which (honestly, they all look the same) is beyond me, but I still take the bread and throw some pieces to the ducks, watching them as they eat.

Anna is obviously trying to be even more cheerful and enthusiastic than usual, but there's only so much she can do to get me interested in the ducks for more than five minutes. And she seems to notice, because sooner than I would have liked, her expression turns serious and she straightens, apparently ready to give me a lecture on how I shouldn't stay on bed all day.

Gosh, I really don't need this. Still, I feign indifference and pluck at the grass absentmindedly, hoping that she'll just leave me alone if I don't look at her.

"Elsa, we need to talk." She says, her voice filled with dreadful anticipation. I can't help flinching a little at her choice of words; it kinda sounds like she's about to break up with me. However, I don't say a thing and just acknowledge her with a small nod, continuing to look at the grass. She sighs, but speaks up anyways.

"You've been acting weird ever since you woke up, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do to help you! I want to be there for you. I know what happened there was terrifying and that you don't want to talk about it, but I really can't just sit here knowing you're hurting and do nothing!"

I frown and decide not to answer. I'm not sure about what I could even say anyways, but… I feel Anna's eyes on me as the silence stretches, and I start fidgeting anxiously. This is just so awkward! I guess I should simply say something and hope she'll then drop the subject.

"What's there to do? I'm not the Ice Queen. I'm not the most powerful ice-wielder. And you can't change that." Perhaps I sound a little too bitter and resentful, when none of this is Anna's fault. But I just can't help it. This has been too much for me to handle.

"Is that really what's bothering you?" Anna asks in disbelief. "That you're not as powerful as you thought you were? Why does it matter?"

"Because if Tyra is the Ice Queen, I don't stand a chance against her!" I practically yell at her, finally tearing my gaze from the grass and looking at the redhead sitting beside me. "I'm just a stupid girl who once thought she could be a leader for the Northerners, who believed that peace with Arendelle was possible, only for it all to blow up in my face." Anna flinches visibly at my outburst, but I still don't stop. "I can't bring peace, and I can't stop her. Tyra will attack sooner or later, and I won't be able to do anything about it except watch as everything I care about is destroyed before she finally succeeds in killing me."

For a moment, silence reigns between us, Anna being at a loss of words for once and staring at me with surprise, before looking to the side with a small pout.

"Geez, cheer up, will you? There's no need to be so gloomy." She mumbles. I glare at her, and noticing this, she sighs and returns her gaze to me. "Alright, I understand that you're scared and whatever, but let's look at this from a rational perspective, since that's all you always do anyways." She pauses, putting a finger on her chin as she thinks.

"Okay, so you say Tyra is more powerful than you, right? Based on a memory?" I nod, and she answers with a nod of her own. "Okay, but what exactly does that mean? I thought the amount of magic you have had more to do with at which age you acquired it, and you can't get any lower than a newborn, right?"

"No." I sigh, too tired and exasperated to have this conversation, but I know Anna won't drop it, so I decide to indulge her. "When it comes to the amount of power inside oneself, I'm the most powerful ice-wielder. But if we talk about control… I'm probably the weakest." I admit with a grimace.

"Really?" Anna raises an eyebrow. "But you've had a pretty good control of your magic almost all the time you've been here, except when you got scared or angry."

"That's because I…" I pause, pursing my lips. Honestly, I have been thinking about that a lot during all the time I spent bedridden. It didn't make sense; in my memories, my magic was pretty much uncontrollable and dangerously wild, while in present time… it did get out of control from time to time, but nothing to the extent I experienced in my dreams. There was only one explanation for that, at least that I could think of. "My magic… it's not all there."

"Wait, what?" Anna exclaims confused, so I elaborate.

"Whenever I use magic, the amount I have within by body diminishes. The more magic I use, the longer it takes for it to come back." I pause, thinking on the best way to explain this to someone who doesn't have magic of her own. "For example, the other day when I fought that ice monster, I used up about half the magical power I had stored up in that moment. I've recovered slightly the last few days, but I still have significantly less than when I started fighting."

"I see, but then… are you saying that you have more control now because you've been using magic faster than it can regenerate?"

"No. I'm saying that when I woke up without memories, I had even less magic than I have now." I clarify. "It has been regenerating gradually, and still hasn't even come close to reaching the maximum amount I can handle at a time, which improves my control over it."

"I see, so when you said you felt it was growing, it was actually regenerating." Anna nods thoughtfully. "That makes sense." And then her eyes widen. "But wait, if it still hasn't reached its maximum, then…"

"Yes." I interrupt her. "That surely means that, before losing my memory, I used practically all the magical power I had at once."

"But how? Wouldn't that like… be enough to cover a whole kingdom in an early winter?!" Anna says, obviously panicked.

"Probably." I agree. "I suspect I actually had a pretty big fight with the current Ice Queen before fleeing to Arendelle, and that I used almost all of my power during said battle."

"That's a good guess." Anna says, looking more serious for a moment. "And very worrying too, since that means you have fought the Ice Queen using all of your power and still failed."

"Now you see why I'm not being at all optimistic about our current situation?"

"Okay, okay. I get it now." Anna relented, putting her hands up in a placating manner. "And yeah, maybe we don't have the answers that we need right now, or a plan to deal with all of this, but we'll solve it all, I promise!" She tries sounding enthusiastic, but in her eyes there is a tiny spark of doubt. Still, not wanting to sour the mood even more, I give her a small smile.

"If you say so." I shrug.

"Of course I do! As long as we're together, we can overcome whatever it comes." She exclaims, not at all affected by my apparent apathy. "Now…" She pauses, giving me a mischievous look that leaves me wondering if I should be worried or excited about it. "We should stop talking about all this worrying stuff! That's not why I brought you here, after all."

"And… why did you brought me here?" I ask, trying to sound exited. And failing. It's not like I'm not looking forward to some alone time with Anna, but really, I don't feel like I have the energy to do anything with her.

"Oh, you know…" She deviates her gaze and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear as she always does when she's nervous. As her cheeks take a bright red color and a shy smile appears on her face, I have no doubt in my mind of what she's thinking. My heart races in anticipation despite myself. "I just wanted to cheer you up, and… well, it wouldn't be proper to do so in your bedroom." She says, leaning in closer to me and looking at my eyes with desire and love.

"Oh. Oh." I say, when I realize just what she was thinking of, and blush madly because of it. "Uh… y-yeah. I guess." I stutter out, feeling as my normal body functions stop momentarily as Anna scoots even closer to me, practically sitting on top of my lap. I can just gulp and stare at her wide-eyed.

"But I wouldn't be opposed to, you know, if you wanted." She continues, now so close to me I can feel her hot breath over my lips as she speaks, and have to close my eyes in order to slow my heartrate a little. This isn't exactly helping my headache.

But every single thought flies out of the window as soon as her soft lips press against mine. I let out a small helpless whimper as I feel her pour as much passion and love as she can muster in just this one kiss, and I do my best to reciprocate, going to grab her waist as she places her arms around my neck. A small part of me in the back of my mind tells me I probably shouldn't be doing this, at least in public, but honestly? I've been having a pretty terrible week, and I could really use some distraction in the form of my perfectly kind and beautiful girlfriend showing me some much needed affection.

Anna deepens the kiss and I moan as I taste her sweet flavor in my mouth, pulling her closer to lose myself in the sensation. Fuck Tyra. Fuck the Ice Queen, and the Northern Lands and the stupid kingdom of Arendelle. Who cares? And fuck my stupid powers too. I only care about Anna. My Anna. So willing to kiss me just like that, to give herself to me without some much as a moment of hesitation. Anna, who is now kissing me in a way I'm sure no one has ever kissed me before, eliciting sensations inside my body I have never experienced, and inciting me to explore even more.

And… how could I ever resist her? Why did I ever resist her? Even if I'm not in the best physical or mental state for what I want to do, I don't care. Even right now, with my breathing becoming swallow and my heart almost bursting out of my chest, I can barely feel my previous headache or my tiredness. I'm that focused on what she's giving me.

And besides, no one knows what will happen tomorrow. Tyra could attack at any time, and then we would have lost this opportunity forever. I'm tired of waiting and holding back. I just want to live in the moment and make the best I can of it.

"Anna." I say huskily against her lips, not moving even an inch away from her. "Please, I need you."

"I-I… what?!" She gasps, trying to separate from me, but I keep her firmly in my grasp, so even though now we're able to look at each other's eyes, our noses are actually touching.

"Please. I want you to be mine." I say in a lower, almost predatory voice, before pressing a chaste, yet passionate kiss on her mouth. When she just keeps looking at me with wide eyes and a very flushed face, I decide she needs more convincing. "You wanted us to make love at the inn in Njordfkerk. I was not ready then, but I am now."

"Uh… y-yeah." Anna stutters, looking at everywhere but at me. "B-but, you did have a p-point, you know? I wasn't in a right state of mind, and I'm afraid that y-you aren't either. Right now."

"Are you sure about that?" I ask, amused, as I proceed to pour open-mouthed kisses over her throat, smirking against her hot skin as she shudders and let's out a little breathless moan. I know, deep down, that these are not the best circumstances for our first time, and that I should probably listen to Anna and not continue with this madness. But then again, I've been ignoring my rational side a lot lately. And I could really use something pleasurable for a change.

"Damnit Elsa!" Anna growls against my ear. "I'm trying to be responsible here."

"Well, don't." I simply say, biting slightly at the skin of her neck, and smirking when this causes the young redhead to whimper and pull me closer to her.

"O-okay. Fine. Y-you win." She stutters. "But we're so having dinner first. You're not ruining the date I planned."

"Deal." I say, and I find myself wishing this dinner would be over already. And dinner time is still a few hours away.

A/N: Sorry for the delay, and the fact this is mostly just a transition chapter. But I promise next one will get more spicy (if you know that I mean *wink*). And talking about that, would you prefer an explicit sex scene, or just implied? Let me know in a review, I'm fine with either option.

Anyways, thanks for reading and see you soon :)

And thanks to my beta reader moonwatcher13.