I've heard it all before. I've said it all before. The Oscar show is too long. Too boring. Too, too much. So here, a modest proposal for some changes to make the telecast more real, more relevant, more fun.

Hold It Earlier in the Year -- Everything else has sped up; now, by Oscar time, many of these movies have already closed (or been honored at one of a dozen other awards shows). Move the Oscars to Feb. 1 and they'll feel fresher.

Start It Earlier in the Day --

This is Barbara Walters’ 29th – and last – year interviewing celebrities beforehand. Great. Don’t replace her, and begin the show earlier. Even a half-an-hour head start, and things might finally wrap up by 11.

One Host -- Yeah, I'm looking forward happily to Steve Martin, and nervously to Alec Baldwin. But multiple hosts usually slow things down. Stick with a single, smart, ad-libbing talent. Just not David Letterman.

No Banter -- Comedy is good. Forced comedy is bad. Please no more corny puns, or painfully "funny" choices like having a sex symbol give out the award for "best special effects" or a kid actor present "best short subject."

No Plugging -- Why is Star A standing up there at the podium with Star B? Because they have a new movie coming out soon and they want to push it any way they can. It's a crass move. Save the selling for the commercials.

No Salutes --

I have fond memories of Billy Crystal’s annual “It’s a Wonderful Night for Oscar.” But last year’s big “salute to the musical” extravaganza was solely a salute to Hugh Jackman. Can the medleys.

No Montages -- A related complaint – those endless themed clip jobs that recycle the same old "magical" moments. (How many times are we going to see "No prisoners!" from "Lawrence of Arabia"?) Enough already.

No Minor Awards -- The Academy has always resisted this, but really. Two awards for sound? Three awards for short subjects? Give them out during commercials, or fold into the earlier night of purely technical prizes.

Better Presenters -- Having former winners announce the various acting nominees is a good idea – if there's a connection. But last year saw Sir Ben Kingsley praising … Mickey Rourke? From now on, book friends, mentors.

Party, Party, Party -- Make it the way it used to be (and what the Golden Globes copied): A night just for the nominees and their friends, with an open bar. Then turn on the cameras. Now that's entertainment.

These are some of my suggestions. What are yours?

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