Killer Crawfish!! – I stopped in to Heaven on Seven last month when I was in town, and I was greeted by a bizarre spectacle: in the middle of the dining room was a large table containing a platter full of crawfish that appeared to be dying due to lack of water and possibly starvation. At first, I was confused, as I could think of no logical reason to slowly suffocate small animals in the middle of a restaurant. Then I was informed that this was in honor of ?Crawfish Festival,? and was an advertisement for their seasonal boiled crawfish special. I ordered the special, though I foolishly tried to select mine from the ones on display, and was informed that these particular crawfish were to be thrown away after they died. Still, the ones I did have were delicious!



When I went back a couple nights later, they had run out of live crawfish, so they had some dead ones sitting out, which I felt made the display slightly less festive. While I still found the sight of several dead crawfish lying on a plate at room temperature to be appetizing, it didn?t make me as hungry as the previous night when I got to watch them slowly grind to a halt and expire over the course of the evening.



Nevertheless, I was so inspired that I decided to use this sales technique at my own restaurant, Fat Paulie?s Invincible House of Beef in Topeka, Kansas (just south of the Municipal Airport on Rt. 4). Of course, we mainly sell burgers and steaks, so we?ve been bringing a cow in each night and tying a plastic bag over its head. We poke small holes in the bag to let a little air in, as we want our customers to be able to enjoy the sight of the cow becoming less lucid, stumbling around, losing consciousness and finally dying over a period of several hours. Needless to say, hamburger sales have gone through the roof! It?s been a bit expensive throwing a dead cow away every night, but the increased revenue brought in by this brilliant marketing strategy has more than made up for it. Thanks Heaven on Seven!