Screenshot : ESPN

This weekend’s UFC Fortaleza card was a tremendously entertaining event, with the five true main card fights all ending in finishes, old dogs Demian Maia and Jose Aldo picking up resounding wins in front of the home crowd, and Marlon Moraes launching himself towards title contention despite a case of doo-doo ass.




Perhaps the most impressive finish of those five came on the earlier end of things, when human-shaped hammer Johnny Walker stepped into the octagon for the second time in his pro career. He wasn’t there long, as poor Justin Ledet lasted just 15 seconds. Ledet kissed the canvas after Walker beheaded him with an incredible hook kick to spinning back fist combo.


It is perfectly in-character that Walker immediately followed up his combo with a running soccer kick, a blatantly illegal strike that would have immediately disqualified him had it connected. The tentpoles of Walker’s appeal are his wild athleticism (his first UFC fight ended with a brutal short-range elbow) and also his compulsive habit of engaging in hilarious extracurricular bullshit, most notably advertising a banned supplement on his Instagram. After he knocked out Ledet, Walker tried to stage every conceivable celebration all at once. The avant-garde performance sequence was highlighted by Walker doing the worm right by Ledet as he was being examined by doctors.

Walker—his birth name is Walker Johnny—is athletic as hell for a 6-foot-6 destroyer, and having a high-flying headhunter in a division as boring as light heavyweight is a godsend for the sport. I don’t think his strategy of throwing flying knees, wagging his dick around, and ignoring the idea of defending himself will necessarily work against the best fighters at 205 pounds, but truly I don’t care. Cagefighting is primarily about spectacle, and Walker is never not trying cartoon character shit. He might not ever be a champion, but he could get the UFC’s first-ever “KO (piano dropped out of window).”

Here are just a few of the class-clown antics from Walker.



That gyration routine is decidedly more tame than Walker’s full-on stripper walkout.


The good news is, Ledet didn’t touch Walker once, which means he can fight again soon and do a whole bunch more dumb shit to entertain us all.