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As the parliamentary entitlements situation worsens for politicians on both sides of the political fence Tony Abbott has decided to take matters into his own hands. In one of his famous so called ‘Captain’s Picks’ he has today announced that the government will be setting up a royal commission into the abuse of parliamentary entitlements.

“Look. I’m not happy about all of this business going on,” Mr Abbott told The (un) Australian. “The fact of the matter is that people in the Labor Party are a questionable mob. We’ll be having a good look at them. By we I mean not me.”

When asked about her new appointment Ms Bishop said “I’m clearly the appropriate person for the job. I’m a stickler for the rules and all is forgiven since I’ve apologized for my slight oversight. I’m looking forward to getting around and seeing everyone and asking a lot of questions. I’ll obviously have to go overseas on a fact finding mission first. My office is already making all of the pertinent arrangements. If all goes well I should be back by Christmas.”

Matt Gaddes

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Categories: Politics