We’ve all been on an airplane where some inconsolable baby just won’t stop crying. Some parents try to make it easier for their fellow passengers by handing out goodie bags as a pre-emptive apology, but one mom has written an honest article arguing against such a trend. “Every time I see one of these baggies go viral I am filled with rage,” wrote Cassie Murdoch for Mashable recently.

“These goody bags…send the message we should feel bad for having babies who act like babies. We shouldn’t.” Check out her full article below.

Image credits: Lars Plougmann

This Friday, reddit user “Fe_Mike” posted a photo of gift baggy and a little note “written” by a three-month old with the comment, “Lady on the airplane just handed this to all of the rows around us. She now has an entire team of passengers ready to help.”

Image credits: Fe_Mike

“If this sounds familiar, it’s because these little handouts — usually filled with some candy and a set of ear plugs — have become a full-on viral trend. On the surface it’s a nice gesture, but as the mother of twin toddlers, every time I see one of these baggies go viral I am filled with rage. Other moms and dads I’ve talked to say the same thing. That’s not to say the individual parents who give these out are doing anything wrong. They’re just trying to be nice — a good instinct in these tense times,” writes Cassie.

Image credits: Juanmonino

“The cumulative effect, though, of these goody bags sweeping the feel-good internet is to build in the unrealistic expectation that the next time you board a plane and see someone holding a baby that person owes you a preemptive apology in the form of Tootsie Rolls. The thing about these goody bags that has rubbed many parents the wrong way from the start is that they send the message we should feel bad for having babies who act like babies. We shouldn’t.”

Image credits: Ninjashares

“If my child screams, it may annoy you. But there are a million ways adults can be equally annoying — and they should know better. I once spent a flight trapped next to a man who packed and consumed not one but three intensely smelly tuna sandwiches during the course of the trip. I did not receive a single goody bag for my suffering.”

Image credits: Radist

“Surviving air travel with our sanity intact is hard enough for all of us, not just parents. But most people who fly with their kid have also dragged a car seat, a stroller, extra food and diapers, and approximate 9,000 tons of other miscellaneous supplies. The next time I wrestle my wriggling toddlers and all their crap onboard, I shouldn’t have to also stress that I failed to bring a dozen charming packages full of snacks for everyone around me.”

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“We may not be handing you Instagram-worthy gifts, but the vast majority of parents are already going above and beyond to make sure our children don’t bother you during the flight. Trust me when I say, the most stressful part of traveling with a baby is not trying to clean up the inevitable poopsplosion in the minuscule aircraft lavatory during turbulence. It’s worrying non-stop for the entire journey that our child will become inconsolable and disrupt the trip of every passenger within shouting distance.”

Image credits: birryh (h/t: Mashable)