pith·y/ˈpiTHē/

Adjective: (of language or style) Concise and forcefully expressive. (of a fruit or plant) Containing much pith. (often) I take the pith for your entertainment.

Foul, smarmy North American teenagers (you want to punch them) help justify the disenfranchised robbing their (teens’) crumblies. Said olds get their own plot thus doubling your merriment. Conceiver enlists the two most capricious ‘helpers’ the universe has up its sleeve. Recipe for chaos anyone? Clever. Wacky finale.

Dishes up the ‘nature or nurture’ quagmire in a fashion to make you consider self-sterilisation-on-the-spot. (“Start boiling up the wire coat-hangers, Mabel.”) Advice to Swinton: get Thee to a podiatrist.

Sex addict can’t glimpse so much as a hole-punch at his office without rubbing one out. Fassbender is not backward in coming forward, as it were. Thank the Lord it’s not in 3-freakin’-D. (“Virgins, look away NOW!”)

Wall to wall desolation complete with snow up to your navel and bum-friendly tutor in the fjords. Splendidly done but frightening as is recent history. Reindeer waiting for December get a walk-on.

The Way (2010: dir: Emilio Estevez; Martin Sheen, James Nesbitt)

Sheen and his uneven arms (polio) traverse El Camino de Santiago with nil preparation and nary a blister. Wholly dedicated to keeping unexplained grumpiness on the boil in too-late attempt to bond with son who had fallen off his perch on his (son’s) earlier first trekking day. Stirring. Book your air-tickets now.

A bevy of banged-up, wayward, yet enchanting fellows navigate London’s discarded tube tunnels. Worth seeing for that alone. Hint: A chance for you to play ‘spot the ghost.’

Five Fingers (2006: Ryan Phillippe, Laurence Fishburne)

Cherubic Phillippe had me stymied. Intense mental calisthenics. Gaggable knife-skills. Good accents.

Fragile (2005: Calista Flockhart)

The good old “cute as Scrat and his Big Acorn therapist commits herself to the alarmingly freakish nut-house in the middle of bloody nowhere” stratagem. Formula guaranteed to drive you back to your homework/divorce proceedings/root canal treatment.

The Forgotten (2004: Julianne Moore, Gary Sinise, Dominic West, Linus Roache, Anthony Edwards)

Children are ‘chosen’ but what is the experiment? Moore up to her armpits with pluck. Sinise looking a bit toadish (great though). Stars son of Coro’s Ken Barlow!

Domestic Disturbance (2001: John Travolta, Vince Vaughn, Steve Buscemi)

Despicable step-dad ruffles various feathers, not the least of which those affixed to the ever-expanding La Travolta. Tame outing. OK if there is nothing else doing.

The End of Violence (1997: Bill Pullman, Andie (She’s Worth It) MacDowell, Gabriel Byrne)

Film mogul turns to the soil. Full of shrouded schema. Gorgeous house. Lovely Mexicans. Atmospheric. Cerebral even.

Sorry, guys, but Big Yawn this week goes to …

Extreme Honour (2001: Dan Anderson, Michael Madsen, Michael Ironside, Oliver Gruner)

Astounding in that everyone spoke at the wrong (slow) speed with huge pauses. The proverbial brick shithouse had incredible skin and an incongruous lisp. This appears to be Anderson’s only flirtation with Hollywood, poor guy. But I could see him making it big in porn (so to speak). Maybe that’s what he’s up to now … (“WE are not that kind of blog. Spoilsport.”) Mad scenario. Look out for Green Acres’ son who is the spit.

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