(And well, more specifically, white guys with brown-ish hair with arguably similar face structure. Also, yes, a bunch of them are from the UK — so shoot me, I find their accents dreamy.)

If I tell you that I like Chris Evans, it’s not really a big deal. He’s a handsome guy, you’d probably get why. But when all of my celebrity crushes are white? That’s problematic — because even though I’m a person of colour, none of my celebrity crushes are people of colour (POC).

That really, really bugs me, more than I’d like to admit, because of one reason:

Since there is a lack of representation of other races, especially Asians, in the media, almost all the celebrities I’ve crushed on are white. Which means that I have been taught to find, almost exclusively, white men to be attractive my whole life.

Wow! Look at that diversity! I see 3 black guys and a heck of a lot of white people.

Let’s not pretend like Hollywood is welcoming to all races. There just aren’t the same kind of leading roles for POC like there are for white people. This isn’t news. We all know that the roles given to white people are endless, not to mention more often than not, better in depth and complexity. How often is the extent of the diversity in a production whittled down to a token black guy, or a sassy black woman, or a nerdy/quirky Asian?

I spent so much of my formative years (and, uh, admittedly even right now) thirsting over plenty of hot white guys because they were pretty much the only desirable and attractive people on my screen.

All I ever saw were white guys as the love interests, as the leading men, as the stars. All I ever learned was how handsome the roster of countless white guys in Hollywood was. All I ever heard was the stories of white people.

It was like Hollywood ignored POC as love interests, so I did too.

I just googled chick flicks and chose this picture. Nothing against this movie.

I’m not saying that because I’m a person of colour that I have to date other POC. And I’m not saying that POC shouldn’t date white people.

I don’t think that everything should be politicized — certainly not your love life.

But what I am saying is that it’s worrisome that some people grow up with this bias, with it sometimes resulting in a negative internalization towards their own race or other races. However, I am not criticizing POC who date white people.

For example, could you imagine if women who called themselves feminists felt like if they dated men, it would take away from their cause? That being a feminist meant that you couldn’t be with a man, because it means that they don’t actually believe in equality?

Being a feminist, and fighting for equal rights, doesn’t mean you can’t be with a man or a person who benefits from privileges that you don’t.

Can you imagine if all women during the Suffrage era were criticized for being married? As though somehow that took away from their dedication to trying to get voting rights for women?

Just like how being an advocate for POC, and fighting for their rights, doesn’t mean you can’t be with someone who isn’t a person of colour — it doesn’t make your arguments any less true or any less effective. A personal relationship should not take away from somebody’s advocacy in their political beliefs (like Constance Wu, an advocate for Asian representation in media that was criticized for dating a white man.)

Dating a white person as a POC won’t make you any less woke.

So it’s not that I think I shouldn’t date white people. The problem is that I hold a positive bias towards them, and a negative bias towards POC, in regards to dating.

I probably didn’t even notice or understand my bias for a long time, and that’s what made me less woke — not the fact that I dated them in the first place.

It’s easy to understand why I would be biased. I grew up reading books, watching tv shows, watching movies, and stepping into the lives of white people — white people who pretty much only dated white people. And I had unknowingly aligned myself with these roles, with these characters, with these identities.

And it wasn’t like I only ever liked white guys. That wasn’t the case — I liked a number of guys who weren’t white. I just found myself more critical of guys that were POC, especially in online dating. Which, I’m sure isn’t exactly brand new information either — black and Asian guys have a much harder time with online dating.

Admittedly, I’ve never seen any of the Harold and Kumar movies. But from the clips I have seen, I found it funny. I’m just not all that into stoner comedies.

But as an Asian woman, in such a multicultural and accepting city like Toronto, it’s easy to pretend like race doesn’t matter. So I questioned myself, why did I inherently seek to date white people? Why was I not dating more Asian men? And why, as a person of colour, did I choose to ignore other POC as options for partners?

Well, when you pretend like your race doesn’t matter at all, you become ‘neutral’. What neutral often means is that you don’t embrace and flaunt your culture and your heritage. Neutral means becoming more Americanized. Neutral means becoming more “white.”

So when the vast majority of my dates in such a diverse city like Toronto were white, it showed a trend. A trend that meant that I was picking to date white guys more than any other race. And I don’t doubt that it’s unrelated to the fact that I grew up constantly admiring, and putting on a pedestal, white people.

(Not to mention the fact that Asian men are so often emasculated in the media, even ridiculed, which perpetuates harmful stereotypes.)

WongFuProduction’s Instagram post for a Bachelorette parody where every contestant is Asian.

Like, look at Disney’s struggle to find someone to play Aladdin. I’m sure there’s plenty of attractive, talented Middle Eastern actors who would’ve done a great job — and yet they had trouble finding somebody.

And maybe, it’s the symptom of a cycle — there’s not enough roles, not to mention diverse roles, for a person of colour, so there aren’t enough POC who try and break into the industry.

But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t any. There is no lack of attractive people out there, of any race. By any standards.

So just think about how many roles POC get, and how many of those roles actually have some depth to them — compare those roles to what real life is like. How many of these roles are just characters that aren’t defined by their race? Or a singular characteristic? Or a stereotype?

Or how many POC get to be seen as love interests, especially in something where the main character is white, or isn’t the same race as them?

Admittedly, I liked Kimmy and Dong. Except, I thought naming him Dong was pretty immature, and a step in the wrong direction.

Lack of representation can have a lot of different effects on young POC minds — it can mean that they lack strong role models that are alike in image; it can mean the spread of harmful misconceptions and stereotypes about races; it can mean the erasure of voices, perspectives, and histories of POC; and it can mean a lack of self acceptance for your own race, because you learn the value of whiteness.

You begin to learn that being attractive fits into a small parameter — because you learn that being attractive means being white.

So that’s why my celebrity crushes’ race is problematic.

Can you name 5 Asians actors in Hollywood that you have a crush on? Or at least, know of?

Can you name 5 Asians artists in mainstream music that you know of?

Can you even name 5 Asians in Western media at all?