Cycling is a fast way to get around this traffic-jammed city. But something about getting on two wheels brings out the selfish anarcho-individualist in too many Melbourne riders. Here's their most annoying habits:

Tour rider does peak hour. You know this guy: six-two, strapping, dressed in full black kit and weaving through the bike traffic at top speed – and into the path of oncoming riders. Save it for Beach Road, brother.

I'll just squeeze by. Royal Parade, 8.30am – you're part of a solid stream of bikes heading to the university and into the city, with a line of gridlocked cars right beside you. But that won't stop some riders trying to get past you with only inches to spare. A warning bell at least? You must be kidding.

… or I'll just sit here until I can squeeze by. Right on your wheel … breathing down your neck like a phantom.