Itâs just that violence is the only way of making the answer possible. So violence is not an answer; if anything, itâs really more like a question. Probably a question like âhow you like gettinâ shot in the legs, queer?â

3 And He Shall Lead an Army of Eco-Friendly Child Warriorsâ¦of Death.

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Conservative forum-members would just like you to know that Barack Obama firmly believes the children are our future, and he just wants to teach them well and let them lead the wayâ¦ directly to his herd-culling gas chambers. Yes, in a move directly parallel to Hitlerâs infamous Nazi Youth Program, Obama wants to pass legislation that would require all children to enroll in his own personal army.

He has cleverly concealed this hideous plot in the form of a program that proposes to give tax breaks to college students in exchange for performing some community service. The Farthest Right are justifiably outraged about this, because clearly, this is exactly like slavery:

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Making college kids do work at a soup kitchen on Saturday mornings in exchange for thousands of dollars in financial aid? My god, this is â this is just like that one time, remember? When they rounded up all the black people and worked them to death in the fields, giving them absolutely nothing in return? This is, in every conceivable way, exactly the same thing as that. Except that this time the people that suffer wonât be African-Americans, but the polluters and energy wasters.

Itâs like an episode of Reverse Captain Planet, where eco friendly death squads roam the streets and itâs all up to a plucky band of wasteful, but good-hearted Young Republicans to learn the power of teamwork and stop them. But some posters don't see this light-hearted, cartoony side, and instead fear the much more ominous possibility that enlisting teenagers to assist the local community could also give Obama unfettered access to his own private army. Itâs a civilian draft!