Visitor Silently Judges Church Bulletin's Rampant Grammatical Errors

PETERSTOWN, TX—An unidentified female visitor to Peterstown Methodist Church arrived early and reportedly spent the length of the service Sunday quietly judging the quality of the church based on the church’s bulletin, which, according to reports, was rife with grammatical errors.

The mistakes included several incorrect instances of the word “there,” two run-on sentences, a comma where a semicolon should be, and unnecessary apostrophes sprinkled throughout the program, sources confirmed.

The woman took several breaks from her piercing, silent judgment to voice her displeasure to her husband.

“This pastor guy’s pretty good,” the visitor was heard whispering. “But look at this invitation to attend the church’s upcoming youth night. They use the word ‘its’ five times—and every single one is wrong. How do you even do that?”

“I’m going to be sick,” she added.

Further, the visitor was seen giving exasperated looks to her husband as the church’s worship lyric slides and sermon point slides were displayed, containing a grand total of eleven errors, by her count.

The visiting couple reportedly scurried off immediately after service, later stating they wouldn’t feel right joining a body of Christ that couldn’t even make its pronouns agree.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee