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The overpopulated residents of the environmentally strained planet of Earth, are now at a loss of what to do to present concerning and urgent scientific findings to the political classes of Western Civilisation.

Despite hundreds of years of warning from Indigenous populations about how the excessive burning of fossil fuels and severe deforestation might not be the most sustainable form of capitalism, it seems the fight has now been taken up by young people around the world.

This comes as teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg captured the world’s attention in a fierce and passionate speech at the United Nations headquarters, accusing world leaders of failing to act on climate change.

School Strike 4 Climate, is an international movement of school students who take time off from class to participate in demonstrations to demand action to prevent further global warming and climate change. Publicity and widespread organising began after Greta Thunberg staged a protest by herself in August 2018 during the Swedish general election. A year later, millions of people have taken to the streets to protest action alongside.

Organisers of the 20 September protests reported that over 4 million people participated in strikes worldwide, including 1.4 million participants in Germany and 300,000 protesters in Australia.

However, in response to both Greta’s speech and these strikes, conservative media outlets and a growing number of populist right-wing governments have instead decided to focus on whether the activists cleaned up litter after their protests. Or whether or not they were polite in the way they delivered the information that old people aren’t even willing to hear.

This is due to the fact that the post-war generation of western baby boomers find Greta Thunberg to be rather insolent for being assertive in the way she talks to men.

The immediate resistance to these facts has left the planet terrified that there actually is no way to deliver these concerning scientific facts to old white cunts, who have the luxury of dying with a smooth pillow, before these rainforest fires and rising sea levels start killing people outside of the third world.

“Maybe we could integrate this alarming climate change data into Nigella Lawson cooking shows” suggests one youth striker from Betoota High School.

“Or maybe we could get the climate scientists to dress up as Elvis… Maybe then they’ll listen” says another.

“It’s really hard to know what gets these old cunts excited, outside of not paying tax and pretending to care about veterans of wars they never went to”

Strangely, despite their current reputation for shitting the bed, the Brexit-weary UK is not included in this debate. Mainly because they have run out of coal and have been forced to engage with renewables for economic purposes.