In a move that surprised everyone from Every to One, Patty Hearst won her category at the Westminster Dog Show this week. Technically, it was Patty's shih tzu, Rocket, who won the award for "most ridiculous," but who's counting?

Mary Altaffer/AP

His name is actually GCH Hallmark Jolei Rocket Power.

Now, for people of a certain age, this was just a story of another rich blond lady lavishing what most of us would consider multiple years of rent money on an animal that evolution should have wiped out decades ago. For those people's parents, bringing up Patty Hearst is like bringing up Jane Fonda on Veteran's Day, and I'm just now realizing that analogy probably doesn't work, so let's start over. Bringing up Patty Hearst is like bringing up Macklemore at a Drake party: Everyone is going to be uncomfortable about it and check out their shoes.