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280 people found this review funny Recommended 0.0 hrs last two weeks / 17.4 hrs on record (12.5 hrs at review time)

(Review text hidden) ---Paid by creator to leave a positive review, didnt specify content--- -Dying in a concentration camp is more fun then playing this game -The main character is a stillborn b-a-s-ta-r-d child of the texture of SpongeBob SquarePants d-i-c-k and a literal potato. Whoever thought that skin and textured Concrete are the same should go to the hospital and ask for their missing chromosomes back -The rubber playmat of a city you had when you were a toddler has more coherent level design then this entire game -Postal 3 is a better game then this. Because at least in postal 3 is a playable game. At least postal 3 has direction. At least postal 3 is fun to play. -The maps in this game that aren't directly stolen from other, more compotent games are more akin to skybox simulators, seeing as you walk around a giant map with nothing on it looking at textures so blown up on the level geometry that even Mario Paint could give you a higher definition. -Friendly tip: you need to bind "holster weapon" to a key for the parkour feature to work. Even then the parkour feature doesn't work. -Sound design? I wish there was some. -You'd think after literally 2 hours of non-descript endless hoard levels where the only goal is to reach the next load zone you'd be rewarded with some gameplay. You'd think. -With how bad the load times and framerate are on some levels you'd swear Nixon came back from the dead to Watergate my fucking CPU To say anyone. AND I MEAN ANYONE playtested this game would be like saying frank __ took his two remaining braincells and clacked them together to form a coherent sensible thought during the entire development of this P̶a̶i̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶m̶o̶d̶ game. Sadly neither is true. This game is load zone scavenger HUNT. Hunt for the freeman? More like hunt for the load zone. At one point in the game you find a skeleton. The skeleton was more fun then the entire 4 hours of game leading up to it. Enable or disable the cross hair. Just like the fun in this game, it doesn't matter BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FUCKING FIND IT. Your local schools special Ed program can spit out a 2nd grader with aspergurs that can write a more coherent story then this This game is on par with Superman 64 Dreamcast games have better lip-syncing I've never seen a producer suck so much dick that he lost IQ points from oxygen deprivation. Looking at you frank. Node graph out of date. Rebuilding. If the game didn't crash more then Windows XP with Bonzi Buddy installed then I might have enjoyed it. List of cheats needed to finish this burning garbage heap Sv_cheats 1 God Noclip (we bound this to = because we used it so often) Mat_fullbright 1 Impulse 203 Impulse 83 Impulse 101 Notarget Kill Giveallammo Showtriggers_toggle The game becomes more fun when you close it and do literally anything else. Don't waste your money or your time playing. And go tell Frank that eating glue is bad for your health. Check this box if you received this product for free (?) Do you recommend this game? Yes No Cancel Save Changes Yes No Funny Award Award Was this review helpful?