NO-DEAL Brexiters claim that after October 31st life will be a jolly self-sufficient romp growing vegetables, keeping pigs and having it off with Felicity Kendal.

Optimistic EU-haters firmly believe that a no-deal Brexit will bring the country together with its upper-middle class neighbours while keeping chickens and pigs.

Norman Steele, head of pro-Brexit organisation Just Get On With It, said: “The Good Life represents Britain before the socialists ruined everything with the Winter of Discontent.

“Richard Briers’s decision to leave the rules-driven world of commercial advertising behind to live as a freeborn Englishman on his own plot of English land is directly analogous to the 2016 vote.

“After no-deal, without pernicious EU imports to worry about, we’ll be happily living in our large houses in Surbiton, mashing up turnips, getting tipsy on peapod wine and enjoying a saucy cuddle with the Rear of the Year 1981.

“Just like Tom and Barbara Good, we won’t have children to worry about; in their case because they don’t have them, in ours because we don’t give a sh*t.

“Sod them with their haircuts and their phones and their competing visions of Britain’s future. Get your own vegetable patches. This is our fantasy and we want it now.”